# Anyone not gone to court celebration day?



## marmalade999 (Mar 9, 2015)

Hi everyone 

We are nearing the end of the adoption process, it has been very very difficult resulting in complaints about social workers etc. Anyway we are in the middle of a contested adoption  but hopefully it should all be ok and everything finalised in a few months.

I'm regards to the celebration day at court what are people's opinions?  I'm not sure whether to do it as family live all over the UK so it's a logistical nightmare. I do not want any social workers there either.wondering whether we should just do something as a family just the 3 of us?
What did you all do?


Thanks  x


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

We had no social workers at ours - ours were so useless they didn't even let us know they weren't attending & we liased with the court directly for the date.

Family wise we asked our parents but that was it. We went for lunch after with siblings too and then at the weekend we threw a big party 

Could you attend just the 3 of you and then organise a weekend party for when you can get relatives together?


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## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

We didn't have one. We had never met the judge, didn't live in that area and our family were all far away so it would've been pointless. 

Instead we waited a couple of months and had him dedicated in our Church (our version of baptism where we promise to raise our kids to know what we believe so they can make a choice for themselves when they're older) and did an adoption celebration with all the family gathered then instead.


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## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

Same as arrows here - we have deferred celebration hearing indefinitely but baptism and big party tomorrow instead.

I know the celebration hearing is lovely for some people but we did it for AD and it was such a let down we have skipped for AS.


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

It's interesting as we were told we had to attend celebration hearing as it was a requirement for the child being involved in their own adoption. We transferred to a more local court, invited close family, our SW and had a lovely day. I can see why you feel differently if it's all been a bit stressful, our adoption was contested too, I feel for you xxx


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

To a degree I do think it's all a bit of an anticlimax particularly if child is very little. Our little man was 14 months so too young to understand it, it's so quick that we didn't want to make a big deal of it and invite loads of people so it was just us and my parents. Our sw's attended but only because it's across the road from their office.
Whilst it seemed a bit of a nonsense I did feel it was important to do it and have photos for our little man as it is a very significant event in his life and I didn't want there to be nothing for him to look back at. A naming ceremony or baptism is great but it is different and in addition to the legal side of things so in my own opinion it's not a replacement for the celebration day. 
I would be inclined to just the 3 of you go and you get your photos etc then go and do something special afterwards.
Ultimately it's your choice and what you feel is right for you and your lo. We certainly didn't get anything out of it for us as adults and he certainly didn't as a 14 month old baby but the photos are there for him to see and talk about as he gets older.


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## marmalade999 (Mar 9, 2015)

Thanks for your thoughts.
I would absolutely not be inviting social workers. We are adopting out of area  so would have it transferred to our local court.
Our initial thoughts were to invite foster carers and just us. The family politics of it all are just too much with distance,  work etc there is hundreds of miles  between us all.. I agree to an extent it is important to mark the occasion but also not sure whether court is the right place to do it. LO  is 2 and she dislikes men, the judge is likely to be male too so that concerns me.

Head up bottom!  😊


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## bulmer (Sep 5, 2010)

Hi, not sure if you're aware but it doesn't have to be family you invite it can be friends and those who have supported you through the process.  As your transferring to a local court you can mention to them that LO will be better with female Judge and they will try to accommodate this most courts are very good about things like that.


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## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

We just had ours... In and out in 25 mins!
Only my hubby and I attended with our little boy and our own social worker... 
We had in the last month we had been on holiday, had a celebration party and a christening, so it was nice to do something on our own.
The court was mainly for a photo like others have said, but we had a lovely family day to mark the occasion and that's what it's all about!
Good luck whatever you decided.... and seriously, courts need to learn how to generate a certificate!!! Honestly xx


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## dimplesforever (Aug 1, 2014)

We had a really long journey to get the AO - eight hearings and almost a year from applying until Celebration Hearing.  I had really mixed feelings about attending but I am really glad we did it.  My boy was only 2 1/2 and has global developmental delay so did not have a clue what it was about but he enjoyed being made a fuss of and seeing his favourite people. The judge was lovely and was really tickled by the fact that my boy addressed him as 'Your honour' (I was bursting with pride - perhaps I should be working on some of his other language skills ).  My son's SW attended but mine didn't (it wasn't one of her working days - a strategic decision by me!)


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