# Post visit freak out!



## Caledonia (Sep 4, 2013)

So had my initial home visit - my second one - and I am having a bit of a freak out!!

Starting to worry I can't actually afford to adopt. I had planned on taking a year off work and though it was doable but I had no idea that some LA's don't cover legal fees and they can be as much as a thousand pound! I think I have been rather naive! Well I don't think I have cos I have read up loads - had no idea those kind of costs were involved!!

Really freaking out now about costs and also the fact I am single is a major issue - I am not going to lie  - I am not a sexual and would not be single forever however I also know my priorities and I am happy for a relationship to be off the agenda for years. However I get the sense it will be a sticking point! As will my weight! 

Anyway I am sure the meltdown is normal. I am involved in child protection and thought I was going ok - but it seems the more I know the more i don't know and wow a grand and saving for time of work and little people stuff! I don't have a hope in hell!!!


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

You are not alone as I had no idea about legal fees either and we meet our daughter tomorrow! I do know we have to pay for the paperwork to be submitted to court for the adoption order (about £170) but the placing LA reimburse it. The only other fee we have had to pay is for our medicals. 

If you do a search for BMI I think there have been a few threads on weight concerns. It seems the general consensus is if you are able to be active and show you are committed to losing a bit of weight, eg, signing up to weight watchers, people have been fine.

As for being single I think they are being unrealistic maybe in their expectations. Plenty of people on here are single adopters. As long as you don't jump into a relationship now or in the near future and put your child first surely you will be fine? They will look deeply into your support network as a single adopter as you need people close who you can rely on for support. But if that is strong I can't see a problem

Good luck


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## Caledonia (Sep 4, 2013)

I thought it was a £115 but the SW today said it is £1000 and that if the parents are contesting then the LA may assist and some do but the LA i live in don't. I actually was just sitting dum struck! I work with children who are in care and know how much is spent on foster placements, taxis for contact, taxis for school etc and was just dump struck that they leave a £1000 fee to adopters and then expect you to take a year off work too! 

My employer has good leave arrangements but with that kind of lump sum payment I am really unsure now!It might not be a lot to some people but a grand!   

I think I am just feeling a bit over whelmed. I feel as though it is being seen as crazy that I am not wanting to wait for Mr Right and I am still young. Well Mr Right ain't rocked up by now so he isn't my priority any more. 

It was a great meeting - she was lovely and seemed very impressed but I am just a bit flumoxed by a huge cost like this I knew nothing about! 

Sorry I am rambling!


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## Caledonia (Sep 4, 2013)

Sorry in all my rambling I didn't pick up on you meet your girl tomorrow - how amazing!! That is fantastic news - bet your so excited!!!


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

A grand is an awful lot, especially when you need to save and buy everything for your future little one   I have never heard of this and in all the paperwork we have signed I have never come across a figure more than £170   I wonder if I am being a bit thick here... what are others experiences? Surely this is wrong?  

Thanks lovely, just going a mega clean before it all kicks off tomorrow


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## peacelily (Feb 24, 2006)

No, the only fees we have had to pay are the Court costs, which are then reimbursed, and our medicals. I haven't checked yet how much the Court costs are as we can't submit our adoption order till October, but Lolly's figure sounds about right.  Our medicals were about £85 each.


In terms of legal fees if birth parents contest, our LA certainly cover these for you. I'm really surprised that all LAs don't do that    that is the exception though (BPs contesting) rather than the norm.


Good luck on your journey.


Peacelily xx


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

My understanding is the same as Lolly's. Is this a Scotland charge? 

Don't know if I'm being dumb but surely any legal matters where BP's are contesting are not your responsibility? I may well be wrong but i thought a child is not legally yours/your responsibility until you have the adoption order, once you have that BP's can't contest?

It just doesn't seem right to me. Maybe phone them, explain your shock & ask them to explain this amount & the circumstances in which you would have to pay it?

Sorry couldn't be more help


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

£1000? is she sure? i have honestly never heard of that! 

i thought the circa £180 thing too, which is reimbursed.


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## snapdragon (Jun 27, 2011)

my la paid the court fees most do. it would only be more expensive than the basic court application fee if bp's object.


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## Caledonia (Sep 4, 2013)

Yes this is a Scotland figure. Edinburgh do things one way, Glasgow do things another. I don't really want to look within Edinburgh because of my job and possibility of coming acrross family and relatives in my role. 

In Glasgow the prospective adopters are up against the BP at court stage so I would be the pursuer or something! I said I had read about a figure of £115 and she said this might just be the curators report but the fee of £1000 some LA's don't cover! The thought of me in a court scenario against BP instead of the LA terrified me - I know I would be supported but it is different to everything i have read! 

I need to clarify with her - was just so shocked!! A grand - I was just bowled over!


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

I would double check that is bleeping crazy. We had to pay court and weren't reimbursed but I can't remember how much but was under £200. If bp contest the child is still deemed a looked after child and parental responsibility is technically still the la surely.  
It is a journey of many highs and lows buts the highs are beyond amazing xx


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

Ok so I guess I haven't heard of this because it seems the system in Scotland may be different. But regardless of that a thousand pounds is crazy money, especially when you should be spending on your child. As others have said the placing authority have responsibility for all things legal so I would challenge it too. Good luck


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## Caledonia (Sep 4, 2013)

Thanks everyone - it does seem bonkers! 

I will email her to clarify - I did think it stranged I had missed that!

There is a Scotland adopters thread here so will ask there if anyone knows! 

Thank You


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## Starmaker73 (Jun 28, 2013)

I commented on these insane legal fees in Scotland in the other thread (£1000 is actually cheaper than a lot of the LAs in Scotland charge btw) but I wanted to pick up on the single adopter thing. Make sure you find a SW who approves of this, I can speak from experience to say that no all of them do. My new SW is very supportive of my decision to adopt as a single person. My support system is strong and she has never once judged me for not choosing finding Mr Right (who I'm pretty sure is playing Hide & Seek with me) over adopting a child. Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss this more.


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## Caledonia (Sep 4, 2013)

Thanks Starmaker - sorry I missed the bit on the insane legal fees in Scotland, I will try and find it. 

I am at work just now but may well PM you (bad me sneakin on at work!). The SW was lovely but everyone I have spoke to (3  SW's) have all expressed a view that felt a little bit like 'oh your lovely and normal and Mr Right will show up - just wait! 

I just think my Mr Right is playing hide & seek with yours!


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## Caledonia (Sep 4, 2013)

Can I assume that if we decide not to adopt a Scottish child but crossed the border and adopted a hard to adopt child in England we don't have to pay £1000 plus!! I am truly gob smacked! And that takes a lot believe me!!


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## Starmaker73 (Jun 28, 2013)

No problem.  Always good to chat to a fellow singleton.


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Caledonia - I'm afraid you may find legal costs much higher if you do that. Scottish agencies would expect you to get your own solicitor (which us what the £1-1.5k costs are). We inquired quite a few little ones across the border but it was all a no go - basically its two different legal systems. It's the reason pre AO you cannot take Los out if Scotland without permission (or at least we were told this by our la).

We adopted out with area so its not all faff to get you to stay within the agency. This was common across Scotland.

If you need to know more about the Scottish court processes etc then feel free to PM me.
x


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## Caledonia (Sep 4, 2013)

Thanks for that - I may well PM you too - I am dizzy with all today's information!


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