# thinking if we did have another



## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

Could you help me we have a birth son 6 (donor sperm) and a adopted son placed 8 months he is 2.  We have a three bedroom house so my plan was to put the two older boy in bunk beds and the small room for a new lo what to you think would there be hapoy with this. And I have to talk to dh to make sure he be happy to lol x


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

cant see they'd have a problem with that..my friend adopted her LO's sibling ..they have a 2 bed house..so sibling had to join sis in a quite small bedroom..


kj x


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Round me it's agency and circumstance specific some yes some want children to have their own room regardless or access to one when they want / time is right.  If they want you to take a birth sibling then all rules seem to go out the window and it's whatever suits.  I'd ask around and find an agency that's happy good luck.


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

We've just been discussing this with our SW and we said we have enough bedrooms that they can have their own if/when they want them, but will share while they are little.


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

With our LAs they generally want a room for the child they're placing to themselves, or the option of one if needed.  When we had our son placed we thought about putting him in with his older sister but we didn't and it would never have worked.  They're both too demanding and needy and god knows how anyone would ever get any sleep.  Things were difficult enough as it was.  

But, when discussing the possibility of a third child, the LA were willing to overlook the requirement for a room each to keep the sibling group of 3 together, if we wanted to take them (the pregnancy did not go to term in the end).  I have to say that I do agree that unless children have lived together previously, sharing a room may not work, even with a biological sibling.

Themain concern I could see SS having with the arrangement you're proposing would be what happens in a few years.  Logically, in the longer term, you'd expect the two younger children to share, given they'd be closer in age, and your oldest to have the room to themselves.  They may also be concerned about bad feeling between your b/c and the adopted children if they suddenly had to share a room, and also how both your children would react.  Maybe if you had a girl placed it may be easier to explain to your children that they will share a bigger room as they're both boys and a girl to have the other room?

I think it depends on the children really.  Also on your LA's policies.  Worth contacting them and finding out though.  Also, probably worth mentioning it to your husband! 

My husband is categorically ruling out a third (he'd been open to the idea of 2 or 3 in the past, but this has definitely changed).  I still have a little hope that a few (like five or six) years down the line there may be another sibling come along that we could have, if our children are doing well.

All the best,

Wyxie xx


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## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

DH is open to it but would be more happy to take a sibling which I feel will not happen and jyst makes me a little sad.


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

My kids share - my daughter is 20 months and my son 9 months. We do have 3 bedrooms but the third is an office for hubby who works from home part of the week. To be honest it was never discussed, and given they ended up being under different LAs, they're could have been a problem but they asked, we said they were going to share whilst little, and no one batted an eyelid.

The office will turn into a bedroom when they get a bit older and need their own space.

It has been a bit tricky at times, but we agreed we would persevere and after the first week they stopped disturbing each other (my daughter could happily sleep through my son's frequent bouts of screaming) and now we can go and tend to one and the other sleeps through it.

If we did have a third then one would go in the third room and two would share, but to be honest, we've ruled out a third any time soon, or even at all, so it's unlikely to happen. We know when we're beat


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## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

Interesting is your two birth sibling ?


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Yep full siblings and our daughter had the room to herself for four months until her brother joined us; they had never shared before. She was initially a bit surprised / perhaps put out that he was in her room but she got over it quickly and to be honest they are much easier sharing because they wake up after naps / morning and chatter to each other until we go in. I know if my son had his own room his morning greeting would be screaming until we went in, but sharing has meant he wakes not feeling alone and has as a result not done early morning screaming since the first few days he was home. If we did have another I'd always ensure the youngest shared with one of them once it was time (say had moved our of our room if very young) because it's a bit of company and reassurance to have someone else there. It wasn't long at all before our son was looking for our daughter at sleep time. x


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