# Contact with Siblings and other Birth Family members



## BlueStar (Dec 26, 2008)

Hi,  


We're currently going through our home study at the moment.  Could you share your experiences on contact with the birth family?  We've said to the SW we know how important it is for our child to maintain contact with a sibling / siblings and/or they may have been close with their Granny.  


What we're worried about is security.  When they're at preschool we have more control over what's said and what's not said.  But when they're older how do you get round the issue of saying to them that they must not reveal where they live or where they go to school to their Granny for example?  What if the Granny starts asking more specific questions do we say I think it's best for our child's safety that we don't answer your question?  Also what if there are siblings which are still with the Birth Family?  This could put our child at risk.  


We're comfortable with our child keeping in contact with their siblings if the other siblings have also been placed.  We have said we're comfortable about contact with Granny for example if there's a special bond.  But now thinking about it, we're not so sure about it for the risk that they could find out where we live.


Thanks 


Regards
BlueStar


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## Anthony Reid (Jan 1, 2002)

From our understanding - Contact is usually at a secret contact center and is managed by Social Services.


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Hi

I would say that you're open to discussions about contact, it really does depend on the circumstances of each case as to whether direct contact is beneficial to the child.  If it is then contact would be managed in a centre where discussions would be monitored with a contact supervisor present, of course you would also be there and yes quite rightly you could say to Granny 'Thats not something we're comfortable sharing with you'.


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

A lot of children have direct contact with birth relatives - especially, as you say, grandparents, siblings. But I can't think of any adopters I know who are not there during contact.


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## someday (Sep 11, 2008)

Hi. We have been told that direct contact with siblings that have direct contact with birth family is not at all recommended. We will do the post box contact with birth family. Depending on circumstances we may have direct contact with siblings.


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

We were supposed to have direct contact with one of our sons maternal grandmothers, it was a court directive when his placement order was granted. His SW was not keen because he felt that gran would not keep details confidential, we had always said we would do it if it was in our sons best interest, he never mentions the gran, after many discussions at our review meeting, it was decided not to go a head because of security issues, but has been very clearly documented all the concerns and why not so that should they come back at us later we can produce it.

I think it very much depends on circumstances, we are just about to go to AP for no.2 ad have been very clear this time that we will not look at children with direct contact as our son does not have it we fel it would be very un-fair on him to have a sibling that does.


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