# Hows everyone doing?



## Debs (Mar 22, 2002)

Just thought it would be nice for us all to have a catch up  

Im starting to plan things to look forward to throughout the year.  Im in an OK place at the moment and feel quite strong (focussing all my energy into creating a new Debs   a fitter healther one  

Im hoping that 2012 is going to be kind to us all - I know it cant give us what we would really want - but I hope we move forward and start looking forward to living again - even if its just a little bit  

Love

Debs xxx


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## Tulipwishes (Nov 20, 2011)

Hi Deb's I'm struggling at the moment.

All I can think of is having TX but my partner refuses because he has his own kids.

He said last night I should be happy with having my daughter who I adopted and then his children, but his children will never be mine, no matter how much I think of them they have their own mum. Of course my daughter is mine, but I have no cycles so have never even released an egg  and have never been able to even hope/pray that this month will be the month I get pregnant, their is absolutely no hope without treatment.

I think that what makes it even harder is the way he says he has his own children. Last week we had a huge argument about it and straight after he got on the phone to his children so that I could hear him calling his daughters his little princesses and him saying how much he loves them, which of course he does have the right to say, but it seemed callous to me the way he did it after refusing to even discuss tx, he even told me he would never even consider a donor egg conceived child as being mine, as it would not be my baby but someone else's  .

I refuse to cry about it though, I think I'm all cried out to be honest lol.

Tulip xx


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## Debs (Mar 22, 2002)

Aww   

Its a horrible thing we go through and theres no easy way though it - sometimes I wonder how the heck we even begin to try.

I wish there was something I could say to help - I wish your dh would understand a little more  

Dont keep it all in pet - if you need to cry then you have one - keeping it all locked in is going to hurt so much.

Sending you lots of love and hugs.

Debs xxx


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## Tulipwishes (Nov 20, 2011)

Thanks Debs, I am feeling a bit better today, still keep thinking about tx but I dont feel quite as bad, I usualy feel worse if I have just spoken to DP about it all.

I hope that you are ok xx


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## Scouse (Aug 9, 2007)

Haven't posted for ............. well ages.
Today I took a pregancy test as I'm now on day 40 (cycles normally 34 days) and it came back -ve!  But The reason I am posting is because I didn't know whta I wanted the result to be   
I've been through clomid, 4 failed IVF/ICSI, rushed in with severe OHSS on last cycle and am now 41 and started to resignb myself to never being a mummy.  We have just come back from hotel break for dh's 51st birthday, but I think i was more nervous about his reaction if it was ve+??  Never told him i was taking test til i'd done it, and then asked him how he would have felt if it was ve+  and he said 'great'
So now I feel upset that it was -ve    I don't know what's going on in my body or my head.  Does it EVER get easier?
Tulip and Debs I don't think there are any rules.......... we want something that should be 'natural' and a 'given right' to all women who want to be mummies.  But someone, for some reason, has taken that given right away.  That's what hurts and adds to the confusing.  And I think that's partly the reason why others don't understand our anxiety, hurt, anger etc
Still    for miracles X


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