# How do you pay for IVF?



## deedee_spark

Sorry about the nosey question, but how are you paying for IVF?

My DH just announced, over the phone at lunch time, that he wants to quit his job and go contracting in the hope of getting more money.  He is on 3 months notice so by the time he is looking for a job, we'll probably be dealing with the IVF results. I told him it was too much pressure for me and I would cancel the IVF. He'd quit and have no job to go to... Suppose he can't get a job?    I also just found out we were in a bit of dept already. I vaguely knew, but hadn't really digested it. Severe case of burying my head in the sand. 

I am not earning at the moment. I was given an opportunity to write a book - it's a true story and a reputable agent is already interested in it (agents like a unique true story - and I have something very unique to tell  ). Was preparing my synopsis today but feel totally side swiped over our finances (and I was in a good mood today  ). DH has been letting me write the book because I paid for our house deposit (he's divorced so lost most of his money to his ex). Now I feel guilty that I am not bringing in an income. Book is taking forever because IF gets to me, and being dyslexic and unfocused doesn't help. I think I need someone to checkup on my progress every day. LOL. That might get the book done quicker.

And now, I don't know where we will get the money from to pay for IVF. If I return to my previous career, I will never get the time off for treatment - plus the job is stressful (IT Project Manager). Plus, I really really hate it. I am crap at ordering people around Apprentice style. Unless I try to get a job in a supermarket, I am not qualified to do much else (or over qualified).

Family won't help, understandably.

Ebay selling has dried up. Don't people want to buy my cr*p?!  

So how are you paying? How are you taking time off work? Are you getting into dept too? Would you re-mortgage? Do you keep track of you husbands money (I don't - should I?)?

Bl**dy NHS postcode lottery and discrimination. Grrrrr...  

From Deedee who 90 minutes ago was  , but is now  

xx


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## Maria00

Deedee, sorry you can't have a go on the NHS, same here.   We are using our savings, as at the moment I'm not working. We don't have a car and a TV anymore, and that's a LOT of money saved each month.   We rarely go out for dinner, but as I love cooking it's not a big problem. No more cinema and I try to walk anywhere if possible. I just try to concentrate on the big picture: I wanted to be a mom all my life and all will be worth it in the end!  
Ah, re time off. I have no problem (not working), but my DH needed time off too. His boss was not nice about it, so in the end we had to tell her it was for IVF.  
Good luck with your journey! 
... and with your book too!


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## Shoegirl10

- hardly ever go out
-switched from Sainsbury/Tesco to Lidl (save around £70 a week) and better quality
-ebay - have sold so much it is alone paying for half the treatment
-homemade soups which last and very very cheap so cuts the food bills
- but clothes in the sale
- focus on the big picture which is IVF
- I set aside £600 of my salary and that is very hard!!!
it is hard but to be honest there is hardly anything worth seeing in the cinema these days
Rather than go to the hairdresser I now have a mobile hairdresser
I still get my nails done and never compromise on quality clothing or shoes

You can get all the necessities online

I refuse to put the treatment on the credit card as it isn't worth it

Good luck 
xx


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## deedee_spark

Thank you for your suggestions. 
I am really upset. Spent most of the afternoon crying. My DH thought he would shove it on credit card. I feel so stupid for burying my head in the sand.
I'm not sure we're going to be able to do IVF     
And if we do and it doesn't work...

My DH doesn't make it his priority. He earns a really great salary so I don't know where it all goes. It really scares me.  

Homemade soups are good idea. 

Thank you, xx


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## Shoegirl10

My Dh and I earn good salaries but everything has gone up-petrol, clothes, council tax, insurance etc... we hardly ever go out and if we do we have saved the money up for it but like I said I wont compromise and still expect good quality clothes, shoes etc.. and it may mean that I go to the sales and buy it. We don't normally go away and I am a teacher so get 13 weeks off a year 0 last time we went away was in April and we can both use with a holiday!!!

It is really hard but just small changes like going to Lidl, mobile hairdresser really make the difference and you wont notice it as you are still eating and getting my hair cut and coloured

I have gone through all my stuff at home and  put it on ebay.
With regards to the credit card I cant really offer much support as I don't know how much is on it nor what you can afford to pay off - but try and pay off what you can 

xxx


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## deedee_spark

Spoke to DH again (it's one of those emotional days). He said he has been trying to tell me for months about our spending and me not completing the book.   He said I am so obsessed with babies, I don't take anything else in. On quick reflection...he's right!!! I vaguely remember him trying to talk to me about how to pay for the treatment (although I also remember him saying he'll take care of it and it was nothing to worry about).

Lidl is also a great idea. I can get our juicing vegetables there. 
We have vegetable box delivered - lovely quality but not sure it saves us money.
Just quickly relisted 6 unsold items on ebay and have 3 more to find to reach Octobers free quotas.
I'll double tonights soup for lunch tomorrow.
My hair used to be straightened and highlighted and perfect . It is now curly (naturally), unhighlighted and uncut.   Saves money but DH has told me to splurge on getting it cut before xmas. I think he misses the person he first met... So do I!

An area some of you maybe able to help:  We have a huge vitamin bill. I have seen recommendations to see a nutritionist before IVF.... I wonder she can help cut out the unnecessary vitamins. I take zita West at the moment because a consultant  told us pregnacare was really bad! But I think I will go back to pregnacare... noone else seems to have an issue with it.

Any other ideas very welcome and very much needed.

Thank you lovely women.

xx


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## shadow2013

Deedee ... my dh and I are in an IVA our debt got so bad from.his previous marriage and him not telling me about his finances.  He also has twins from his previous marriage which means I don't get to try on the nhs despite having no kids myself which is unfair. He had a reversal but  it failed so we needed dona sperm and Ivf - the only way we have done it thru egg sharing. It's worth looking into if you are under 35 because you only pay for the consultation and some basic tests about £400 and that's it. Most clinics will offer this program and you get to help another family who are also struggling. Worth a look. 

I hope you sort things out xx


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## deedee_spark

Agree with petrol, council tax, etc... Fortunately, I still have a wardrobe of lovely good quality clothes so I haven't bought clothes for ages, only underwear.

Credit card is scary but DH has said, this afternoon, we could remortgage. We didn't go anywhere near our max (3 X DH's salary) mortgage when we bought our house - thinking I would stay at home for a few years with little ones. It's not ideal...

Once again, thanks for your help. Keep the ideas rolling. Think this would help similar people in my situation.

Thanks Shadow - I am now 38. Never thought I would be childless at that age. And yes, NHS is unfair. 


xx


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## Jenbal

Hi deedee,

I second shadow. I am egg sharing with the lister. Had egg collection today. This is by far the cheapest way to go.

We had ICSI which was £770 plus £75 HFEA fee. That was the only thing we paid for. No other costs at all. I am so glad I have egg shared. I can't help smiling when I realise that my recipient will be told today that we had 23 eggs collected and she will be getting 11 of those to make her dreams come true!

I hope you find a solution that's right for you and hope book is going well. 

Jen x x


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## jdm4tth3ws

Deedee, 
not a lot to.add. i buy my clothes occasinally from charity shops, i buy food from aldi, i turn my heating to 1 hr in the morning and 1 hr at night. even in deepest winter. i buy 1 pair of shoes every 2 yrs when theyre falling off my feet. i use clippers on my hair every so often to keep hairdressing cost down or grow it ;-). 
i dont go out at all. we go on tenting hols as its a lot cheaper than anything else. i dont buy dh/other family members bday or xmas presents. i shave everything i can. 
i also save like mad most of the time (unless unexpected vet bills come up) and i have fertility treatment abroad. i have done ivf in uk, but its cheaper abroad. you also get lovely weather. 
sorry youre feeling so down today, hopefully things will look up for you soon. 
jade xxxx


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## njr_26

Deedee, I have raised a lot of money by renting out rooms to international students. They paid for my last lot of testing and LIT. We have 3 spare rooms.

If you live quite near a college that does English for foreign students it pays quite well. We get paid £125 a week to provide bed, breakfast (they help themselves to toast etc) and evening meal. (nothing fancy) As they come from a college they are all checked and you have somewhere to go to if there are any problems. A lot of the students we have had are from Dubai, Kuwait etc and are so polite and respectful and are very wealthy (so you don't have to worry about them nicking stuff), don't drink or have parties etc. We would never rent a room to anyone off the street and we have never had any problems.

Try and find a 0% credit card so at least all the money you pay off it will reduce the balance.

If you have short hair you could have it cut at a unisex barber. Mine costs £9.


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## deedee_spark

Jenbal - Unfortunately, I am 38 now. We tried naturally for too long...

Jade - Mind mind is currently swimming with: 'what about abroad?' Maybe serum instead of ARCG (the most expensive because of my immunes issues). My concern is Serum haven't given me any stats when asked (maybe an oversight). Can't see their success rates.

The heating is a great idea - Maybe I should take my laptop and work with someone else's heating... Fortunately, it has been very mild so far.

I think we maybe I need to collaborate all your ideas and have 'go to page' for IVF money saving ideas. Unless it already exists...

njr_26 - Renting a room is a good consideration - I'll look into that. I have longer hair and I'm growing it. I had it last cut 6 months ago and let it dry naturally (to prevent the curly frizz) so have saved money on hair drying costs. Since giving up straightening hair, I have saved a fortune in hair care products. Also growing it as it looks better longer with curls. I have heard irons are the worst! DH used to leave it on for about 10mins before using. I am thinking we could do with one of those electricity gas monitors... I'll look into that too.

xx

xx


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## Shoegirl10

njr_26 that is such a good idea about renting our rooms to exchange students!!!
A lot of banks now offer really good deals on 0% interest even up to 2 years so that may buy you some time
xx


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## Surfergirl

Hello ladies,

The financial side of ivf is so tough. It's bad enough without the worry of money! The nhs postcode lottery is so wrong. We also encountered this and because my DH has a daughter from his previous relationship we were told we were not eligible. However, because the infertility was down to a medical condition I have we appealed it and got two nhs cycles. I also took the decision, due to my poor results to go straight for donor eggs to give us the best chance of it working. I read earlier that one of you lovely ladies has shared her eggs! You give ladies like me a wonderful opportunity so thank you!!

I work with young people but am also a fitness instructor/personal trainer so have taken on extra work that way. It's not too much of a hardship as I love it!! 
We also swapped from shopping at Tesco/Sainsbury's to Aldi. We have saved so much doing that. The boot is on the other foot for us as we have a 20 month old daughter from ivf but are still paying the hefty loan we took out to pay for treatment!! That said, I don't regret it as it got us our dream.

I remember sitting thinking how the hell are we going to do this. I really hope you lovely ladies achieve your dream too xxx


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## Dory10

deedee - do you have a library near to your house?  You could work there and enjoy their heating when the weather drops?

Lots of really good tips, I don't really have much else to add but whenever I shop on line I always go through a site which gives either cash back or loyalty points - they soon stock up and can be used to buy presents or treats.  I buy lots of things online as it is so easy to shop around and find the best prices, I also search for extra discount codes, many online stores have an extra 10% code, handy especially in the run up to Christmas.

Dory
xxx


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## deedee_spark

Thank you everyone.

We're going to try to remortgage  . Thank god we didn't stretch ourselves to buy a house. DH has told me to get my book proposal together this week and send it off. If agencies aren't interested, I'll find a new career.

I think I will venture to Aldi today or tomorrow. See what savings I can make. Is fruit and veg cheaper? 

Surfergirl - well done on your little one. 

Dory10 - I think we are going to buy only for my nieces at Christmas. Maybe something small for my nan and mum. My sister, brother, uncle and aunts - I'll have to tell them we can't afford it. I am considering the library but they don't have a loo.   I guess if I don't drink much, I might get 2 hours of work done before running home. LOL

MissMayhem - I'm in similar situation as you. DH's ex left him for someone else and he lost everything, including seeing his son every day. Fortunately because he paid the ex off in full at the time of divorce, we only have child support to pay. We need to work out how to save on vitamins. C0q10 is so expensive. I hope the recovery from you Op is going well.

Anyone know about coupons? 

Thank you. I'm going to compile this in a list so that everyone gets money saving ideas and can add their own.
Deedee x


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## jdm4tth3ws

Morning deedee, 
serum dont give out success rates deliberately i think. simply because by the time 'their women' get to them, they have major difficulties and are a lot older. i went there. lovely clinic. street there on seems quite run down, but clinic is very pristine and the care second to none. i, though, unfortunately am not 1 of their successes. lost my pregnancy at 9.2 wks (which is a better result than other losses 5.5 wks, although ultimately the outcome was still the same). peny is lovely, the girls are lovely and altogether was a much more 'relaxed' cycle than in the uk.
at this point i cant think of any other money saving ideas but just want to wish everyone well. 
xxxxxxxx


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## Shoegirl10

Hi,

With regards to vitamins I am only taking pregnacare and omega 3 fish oil. My diet is only fruit, vegetables, good carbs and fish ( I don't eat meat)
I did one cycle where I spend soooooo much money on vitamins and it was ridiculous because in my honest opinion you are born with the eggs you have and no amount of vitamins will make them better quality
I stopped doing acupuncture as handing over £45 every week for an hour caused me more stress and didn't relax me and infact last cycle I didn't do acupuncture and it worked (all being ending in miscarriage)

I also have private medical insurance and I was lucky that they covered my tubal removal so that saved me money
Christmas will be small with presents at only either £5 or £10 and the rule is you have to either be able to drink or eat the present so that makes life easy and cheap!!
Depending on where you live there are lots of webpages you can sign up to for free theatre tickets etc.. so you can have a social life.

We have friends over for dinner which is cheaper than going out and probably better quality!!

there are lots of money saving things you can do to help you with saving for your IVF 
xx


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## goldbunny

deedee although our situation is very different as we were blessed with spotling this year i empathise with your post as we were looking at an FET but DH is 'not being renewed' at work (out on his ear methinks) in december and it throws up a whole heap of questions about how we'd cope. i haven't worked for years and have no skills and only a not very relevant to anything degree.. i really think we'd be in trouble if i got pregnant again (or even just coping with tx) and DH wasn't working, he thinks contracting might be the answer but it terrifies me i need stability and to be able to plan.

i'm a big believer in stopping up the plughole before worrying about the taps as far as money goes. stopping spending is tough but unless you can stop all the 'leaks' increasing income isn't enough. the idea of a remortgage is great though if it will clear other debts and give you a fresh start. i haven't been to a hairdresser or even optician for about 6 years. i don't wear makeup or go out or drink or anything... i stopped buying magazines... DH and my car have about 285000 miles on their clocks between them! a couple of years back DH and i were walking along and i said i think i need a new cagoule, and he said why, that one looks alright, and i said well i have had it a while... you can see where my mother wrote my name in it (and showed him the label!) so i've been wearing that over 25 years!! round here we make things last! 
you're going to have to write everything down, and record everything. don't be intimidated by the idea of that, it's not easy but it will help. stash some cash, even a small amount, as an 'emergency fund'. it will make you feel more confident to have it. work out what you'd need in the event of a crisis and work towards making the 'emergency fund' big enough to deal with that. it could take time. 
a small thing money saving wise but i'd always used branded sanitary towels and i swapped to supermarket cheap ones (still ultra thin) and they've been brilliant and saved me loads. i still use the 'posh' kind occasionally..

_"Book is taking forever because IF gets to me, and being dyslexic and unfocused doesn't help"_ i get it, my degree was a huge struggle. have you tried working at different times of day? some people focus better late at night when all other distractions are gone. someone i knew did her entire degree pretty much between the hours of 11pm and 4 am because it was the only way she got the house to herself and space to think. Also make sure you are fed and watered before trying to write, but stay away from quick release carbs* because they'll make you tired. (*not altogether but in terms of trying to concentrate). Apparently the smell of lemon helps people focus, also try sage or rosemary. I find a burst of very loud music occasionally helps and also i read that looking at photos of cute things helps so get out your kitsch 'kitten' calendars and get them plastered to your desk.. http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0046362 Also buy a kitchen timer and use it to help you stay on track, get yourself in a the habit and gradually increase the minutes you try and stay on topic for. Use rewards. Good luck with the book..



/links


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## Alotbsl

Great thread, very interesting. For me everything goes on a long term 0% credit card and I'm not a great spender anyway so always buy from ebay, no big holiday this year. With regards to time off work, I have not told work so I use my holiday days to grab a half day here and there or a full day as and when needed for treatment.


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## bombsh3ll

It's sad to see so many people struggling with the financial burden of treatment, but heartening to know I wasn't the only person resorting to cutting their own hair whilst living the very frugal IVF life!

Next time I see someone with a mutt cut I'll recognise another infertile sister.

I don't have any day to day saving tips to add other than I never forked out for supplements or acupuncture, just ate healthily within reason.

The main financial sacrifice I made was cancelling our wedding which was planned for April 2012 after losing my fertility the year before. It was a no brainer, do you spend 20k on a day or on a life? Now it will be a long time before we get married, but we will have the most beautiful flower girl  

B xxx


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## Dory10

bombsh3ll

Completely agree with the wedding thing.  Although we got married before actively trying and realizing we had issues we were both of the mentality that we may need the money for something else in the future and to spend that much on a single day (unless you are very wealthy) is ludicrous.  We had a fabulous small wedding with our very nearest and dearest with us, it is amazing what talents friends have (hair, favours, invites etc) and it makes them all the more special.


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## deedee_spark

Bombsh3ll - love the mutt cut phrase. Congratulations on your little girl.

Been to Aldi this morning. Wow, it is cheaper. Brazil nuts are the cheapest we have found. Plus cheaper avocados (expensive but part of my autoimmune reduction diet), vegetable and blueberries. The quality seems pretty good too. 

DH thinks it's Christmas. Instead of a roast dinner for lunch he is having burgers in a bun whilst I use up the freezer contents. I don't eat burgers so I get baked potato with home made coleslaw. 

I spend a huge amount of money on food, and we waste so much. We can probably save £200-£300 per month and our fertility diet won't suffer.

xx


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## MissMayhem

We waste loads of money too!   Am thinking that I will allow Christmas to come and go and then will really knuckle down, can't see that I'm going to save that much before then so will be writing everything down after it, that's what I do when I'm successful in losing weight, when you see it in black and white you're more likely to do something about it.  Still waiting for the blooming surgeon's bill...hurry up already! 

Loved the mutt cut phrase too, genius!  We should be able to upload photos, see if we can identify the pricey dos from the DIY jobs, that would be interesting! 

Hope everyone's having a nice, relaxing Sunday  xx


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## MissMayhem

Hey everyone, hope you're all well. Just had a bombshell dropped that SD's mother has agreed to let her go on a school trip to New York, even though she doesn't work, and lives at home with parents so she doesn't have to pay for anything. She didn't even discuss with DH and we're now being bombarded with pressure to 'go halves' (with her father, not with her, after all how could _she_ possibly afford it?!)

Have gone ballistic and told DH there's no way we can afford this as are desperately trying to recoup the money we spent on my op for treatment. I know he should support his daughter financially, we have had many a quarrel in the past about him spending money on his own stuff and not prioritising her which is why we ended up with the spending money 'allowance' each month, so it's not that I don't think she deserves to be prioritised. It's just, right now? We simply can't do it. I prioritise her as much as I can, often more than both her parents put together, but I can't relinquish my hopes of being a mother for her.

Any advice?xx


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## Shoegirl10

at this stage you can't reverse the decision that has been made allowing his daughter to go to NYC- all I can advise is that either way your DH has to contribute to the treatment

although I dont have the same issue I do make it clear to my DH that if he wants to go out on his nights out with his friends or go to concerts that is fine as long as the money is there for the treatment  it works like that for me too as I have my little luxuries that he moans at me for buying.

The infertility is awful but the financial strain really doesnt help 
I am now at a point where I really resent it and I just want to be able to just spend my money or repay my mortgage etc....

xx


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## deedee_spark

I'd be unhappy about this too MissMayhem. Until you have a stepchild, it is difficult to understand the complexities associated with money/DH's ex. It's not as simple as most people believe.  

I would try to take emotion out of the equation and have a sit down talk with you DH. We had to do this in the end. Go through all you finances and ask each other, 'Where is the money going to come from for XYZ.'  Putting in on paper is a SHOCK when you realise the cost of treatment plus bills, etc. It may shock him into seeing that he can't just spend money right now. NYC is a very expensive place for a school trip, I can't imagine all parents being able to afford this.

It funny, I am sort of in a similar situation to you with the trip. The same weekend we were sorting finances, DH's mother told us that we're all going away for DH's father's birthday next March. I turned into a child when he told me this. My mother is law is very blunt and a bit of a bulldozer. She doesn't know we are trying to conceive (if she found out I wouldn't like her response - you already have a child/you should have kids in your 20's). So the thought of spending a week with his parents, using money we don't have, is enough to send me over the edge. I've said, probably unfairly, 'No way, you need to persuade them to have party over here or something.' DH is working on it...


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## MissMayhem

Thanks both. Funny you should say about removing the emotion from the equation *deedee_spark* as I was coming on here to delete the post in the hope nobody would have seen my wild ramblings at Xo'clock this morning!  Felt I needed to remove myself emotionally and get a bit of perspective. I understand what you're saying *Rome10*, but I can't help but think if her mother wants to arrange a ridiculously expensive trip without even consulting us, let her foot the bill. I'm rubbish at finances, but I'm the better of the two so you're right deedee, DH probably has no clue how little there is left over each month. If SD were living with us permanently, as has come close to being the case sometimes, we would have been saying we simply can't afford it, as disappointing as that may be. I totally agree with you, it IS enough to tip us over the edge. I'm pleased that he's listening to you and hope he can come up with something. I think we would all agree that in different financial circumstances we would make different decisions, but we all are where we are and, rightly or wrongly, sometimes our needs need to be prioritised because of what they represent. In fact though, I think even if we could afford this trip I would still have issues with SD's growing sense of entitlement, something she gets from her mother who is too irresponsible to be independent and something that we have worked hard over the years to counterbalance a little. Thanks for listening, think I need to get some sleep!  xx


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## Dory10

Missmayhem - I can fully understand why you are cross and I obviously went to school in the wrong decade and wrong school - best we got was a weekend in France and I was aware of how fortunate I was being able to go and I contributed from my pocket money!  Just to add this in has your SD had to make any contribution?  Cleaning, washing the car, ironing just to show she is willing to help - not going to help financially but a good lesson that things don't come for free in life!

Dory
xxx


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## louise48910

Hi, just thought I'd throw in money saving ideas. So my partner and I are both professionals, earning a decent wage for our part of the country. We are really frugal but my partner has a massive appetite lol.

We tend to shop at Lidl for most things, although pop to Sainsburys which is closer for things like milk and bread. I find that Lidl's veg is really good but fruit not so good. Things like pasta, noodles, tinned tuna, olive oil/veg oil is so much cheaper. We have a fruit and veg place near us that sells veg that supermarkets probably wouldn't sell as they don't look so good i.e peppers for 25 each that are a weird shape or not as fresh as the supermarkets (perfect in a curry or pasta dish, not so good for an attractive salad). Most of it's just like the supermarket though and much cheaper. 

We cook everything from scratch. No pasta/curry sauces apart from curry paste. We eat a lot of pasta dishes so I do a bolognese using a basics tin of chopped tomatoes and season with fresh garlic, dried chopped chilli/basil (bought in a larger tub as cheaper). I didn't realise the amount of people who will buy prepared sauces, so much cheaper to do from scratch. 

We tend to buy the basic range of certain items i.e tinned toms, tuna (lidl or sainsbury better quality than morrisons), spaghetti, some cereals.

I buy bread when it's reduced and freeze it. Also I check out Sainsburys reduced aisle and pick up things like spring onions or salads for 29p!

I always check how much things cost per 100ml/100g or how much each loo roll is in a multi pack. 

Any left over food I'll stick in the fridge and one of us will have it for lunch the next day.

Right at the end of the month when we've got about £1 left in our joint account (for bills and shopping) I insist in trying to make meals out of whatever is left in the fridge or freezer. 

I always look at compare sites for car and home insurance and check out whether switching electricity company is worthwhile. We dont have central heating so my partner finds places that are giving away pallets, chops them up and we use them for the woodburner. 

I always compare prices online for things I'm going to buy. I'm sure everyone else does this though. I bought a Radley handbag for my mum for christmas which was £30 cheaper on one site than another! Also ask for discount if you work in certain sectors. My mum has managed to get discount on an elective procedure because she works for the NHS. I joked with her earlier whether we could do this for IVF  

I'm quite a good saver but my partner is crap and likes to buy stuff


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## DollyBlueBags

We dont cut back on anything - I do overtime at work and so does hubby. 

My Personal attitude to this and this is MY opinion is that I dont want to cut back on anything or change my lifestyle and miss out. 

We still had a £15,000 wedding and still have big holidays and spend a lot on birthdays and christmas and still save for treatment. 

We belive you live for now not for something thats not here and I wouldnt take back my wedding day for anything.


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## WolfyOne

At the moment we are spending on DIUI (1-1.5k per go). Zero NHS funding in this area for male infertility...

We are saving as much from our salaries each month that we can. No hols abroad this year (part to save money and part due to not knowing how our treatments would go). We now do all shopping online with ASDA, it's amazing how much you save when you stick strictly to a list! I was always tempted to grab extras / things on offer in the shop. We don't go out much but we have always been homely people anyway   We are able to keep up with our DIUI payments relatively straightforwardly without dipping into the savings we started years before TTC.

Scary times will be if we need DIVF (looking at Feb if no success) which is around 6k per go   there's no way we could afford to keep spending that. Two shots at the most I would have thought..

  
Like infertility doesn't suck enough without the added major financial burden!


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## Jonsgirl80

I've got quite a routine going now. I draw a set amount of money out of the bank on a Friday and when it's gone, it's gone. I don't use my cards as it's easy to lose track of what you've spent. Any money left over at the end of the week goes into the savings tin.

I do the food shopping at Aldi - we save so much doing this - shopping bill is down from £80 per week to £40. I take a list and buy only what I need. We don't eat processed food or buy much "naughty" stuff as we are trying to lose weight.

I also use cash back sites and do online surveys for money and vouchers - I don't make a fortune but it's all extra cash. We managed to have a holiday this year as well as paying for treatment.

Hubby is useless at saving - when we met he lived in his overdraft and took regular handouts from his parents. Anything he wanted he would just buy and he didn't have a clue how much things cost. He spent all of his money (and more) on "essentials" like DVDs and CDs.

I put my foot down when we got married  . I control all the finances now.  His wages go into our joint account. I pay all the bills and give him money for petrol and £15 a week pocket money for his "essentials" a bit harsh I know but he's proved several times he can't be trusted with money and he understands that if we want to have a baby we need to save.

I used to feel bad that hubby wasn't getting much from his wages but he actually said he prefers not to have the pressure of dealing with money and is thrilled by how much we are managing to save. Not a solution for everyone I know but it works well for us.


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## louise48910

My partner is crap with money. He just sold one of his bikes and was thinking mmm what can I buy now. Thankfully he suggested making an overpayment on the mortgage. Had to check about 3 times that he was serious before I agreed to take the money. Nearly fainted. We earn fairly similar money so bung in an equal amount to a joint account and the rest is our own. I know what you mean Mrs Peach about living for now. We've not actually planned how we'll pay for IVF as we're really trying to get out of a crap mortgage and move, so putting some aside for that (well, I am.. ha!) also we like to have a holiday every spring and I refuse to not do that and let IVF plans/saving etc take over. I could probably save more but I'd end up on missing out on my social life.


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## DollyBlueBags

Hi Louise,
I just think all this baby making can take over and having fertility problems doesnt define who I am as a person.

Yes I want a baby and to be a Mum of course I do but I won't what's happening right now at this very moment is what matters. 

We both work very long shifts in the NHS so not spending money on holidays and going out just isn't an option. When I see my husband it's special as its a lot less then other couples. 

A lot of marriages don't make this fertility journey but I'm determined that will. 

X


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## DollyBlueBags

Sorry half of that didn't make sense! Trying to type whilst at work in A&E!!


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## louise48910

Aw. No I agree. My partner and I also work in nhs. Partner does long days and nights and I'm always finishing late. Difficult times I'm finding. A&E on this 'mad Friday'? Hope morning comes soon!!


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## DollyBlueBags

Tell me about it! I'm sure I'm ****** from the fumes coming off the patients!


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## MovingSiren

0% credit card here and we love food too much to cut down on that. I tutor at the weekends and that's extra money set aside. 2 students at 2 hours a week is an extra 160 a month so works well. Clothes and such stuff I buy once a year in the sales and that's it.


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## louise48910

I love a 0% credit card.


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