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## Ktd185 (Oct 7, 2013)

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## Pudding34 (May 13, 2013)

Ktd185

You don't sound like a cow at all! You sound like a woman with needs that aren't being met at the moment!

I can only help by telling you of my experience, we found out  our next door but one neighbour, so not as close as yours, was 8 months pregnant at the same time we found out about our issues a year ago after about a year of TTC naturally!

Our neighbour is a big girl and so we hadn't noticed that she was so far along, this was ironic as I was told I was too heavy, at half her usual size to have ivf!

It was difficult when the baby was born and it has been hard at times when other neighbours go on and on about how hard it is all on her, no sleeping, teething etc I have had to politely and firmly say well lots of people would love to have that kind of trouble wouldn't they! 

The baby is lovely and I really like seeing him now, so  to does get easier I promise!

I'm on round two now as the lady opposite us that just over in is about 7 months along, I guess that is just the price I have to pay for living on a new build estate isn't it!

They have a dog as do we, well we have two actually, and my dad trying to be friendly suggested to them doggie walking together, I had to tell him quietly to not say stuff like that as I just couldn't take that hopefully it won't come up again!

Pudding
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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

Hi ktd,

I can totally understand your aphrension and don't think you're being a cow at all. I have no real advise, although I suppose there may be things to do if you think it'll be really unbearable.... Do you have double layer walls with a cavity or is it just single thickness? I think there are types of insulation you can inject into the wall cavity but it may well be expensive and if you only have single brick it won't be an option.

I did want to share a story with you that is a little related (but not much). My mum tells the story often of when she was a newly wee and her and dad moved into their first home together. It was a small semi with one master bedroom and very thin walls. Their next door neighbour was a little old wizened lady who'd been a widow for years. Mum said they could hear everything and realised very quickly that if they could hear her moving about, snoring etc then she could hear much worse iykwim. So they decided to move into the back bedroom so they could be less inhibited in their conjugal relations (my mother has no shame   ) after a bout a week they heard a load of banging about next door and furniture being dragged around etc.... Turns out the old lady liked hearing 'the life' next door and had moved bedroom to follow them!! Always makes me giggle to think about that old lady getting a vicarious kick from the nocturnal bumps and grinds next door.

Not much help I know but thought it might make you giggle too 

X
Ducky


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## Lovelypup (Oct 7, 2013)

Hi ktd, we have a lot in common. We have a big picture window in our living room which looks across a courtyard to another picture window, the home of a young couple who moved in a few weeks after is. They just had a baby 3 weeks ago. They always kept the blinds shut but now always have the blinds pulled up and lift up their baby right within eye view when I'm watching the telly. I always shut our blinds in a huff. Smug buggers. Lol. I don't really feel that way. They deserve to show off their bundle of joy. My husband always says there's will be a little ugly brat and ours will be so much better when he or she arrives. Helps a bit


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## KaitsWishOnAMoonbeam (Mar 1, 2011)

I feel your pain hun. We live in a victorian terrace and can hear everything just like you can and a few years ago we had BOTH sides have little ones within a couple of months of each other. I wont lie at first it was pretty hard and the only place I could get any respite from it was the bathroom as its a downstairs extension which either side didn't have. Headphones and earplugs came in very handy on the more difficult days  

You don't sound like a cow at all. We've been there in one form or another at some point and can understand the feelings that go with it. Fx you'll be returning the favour to them in the near future


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

We have been ttc for a fair few years and had the same problem. A few years ago we had this vile lady who basically had different men round, had very noisy sex, smoked weed, and literally got pregnant 3 times in 3 years. As I was sat up at 3am with agonising endo pain I could either hear her children crying, hear her having sex, or hear her parties. Just to clarify though, she didn't do the bad stuff when her kids were there, she used to palm them off with their respective dads!

When she moved out we were so relieved when this young 19 year old couple moved in - guess what...1 month after she gave birth and then 6 months later was pregnant again! It was made worse by the fact they they always argued saying stuff like "I didn't even want these brats", in fact their arguments (with the child there) were that bad we called the police. 

Fortunately after have the police out too many times, and when she was about 8 months pg with her second she moved. Now we just have a tool with a dog that barks from 6am! 

I swear our next house is going to be detached! 

Anyway, sorry I haven't got much advise as it is really hard, but I did find it didn't upset me all the time (bearing in mind we literally had 4 consecutive years of it all through our TTC times). I often found it difficult during specific difficult times, such as when I had really bad endo, when I kept getting diagnosed with different IF problems etc. It wasn't like it affected me every single day - I think you get hardened to it. Plus you have to keep reminding yourself that it's IF that's the enemy not Fertiles! We did find leaving our windows open upstairs at night helped a bit as it let "noise" in from outside that helped cover up noise from the next door room. Even in the depths of winter we have our windows open, just put an extra quilt on the bed!x 

Good luck honey xxx


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## rubster (Jul 26, 2011)

Hi all,

I remember when we moved into our rented house 4 years ago - my next door neighbour (who is now an amazing friend) had been through about 3-4 rounds of IVF (her DH no sperm, using donor sperm). We had just had our daughter and she makes no bones now about saying that she hated it when we moved in! She then became pregnant with her twin boys. I started ttc again when our daughter was 1, and as you can see below,  we have not managed to have another 

We then moved about 2 months ago to  housing estate..... everyone here (except 1 girl I know who also has secondary infertility) has 3-4 children. On the day we were leaving for the airport on our last cycle (in London) we met another neighbour on the way to the bloody cab. He had a 3 yr old, a 1.5 yr old and another on the way. Sent me into a complete spiral for the day. It resulted in a HUGE argument that same day (which was supposed to be the day before EC), and we didn;t even go through with the treatment. We went back to Gatwick, got on a flight and came back to Dublin. 

So, I was once a point of envy for someone, and then the boot went right on the other foot. Today is one day. Tomorrow will be another. You never ever know what is around the corner. All I am trying to do now, is to patch my life back together and mend by breaking heart.

We will all be fine. Maybe not today, but soon 

R xxx


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## sickofwaiting (Jan 31, 2013)

Hi hun

The same thing happened to me. We moved in in May 2012, and our neighbours moved in in September. They are the same age as us (30) and we got on really well, she is an illustrator and I am a designer so we have lots in common. Then a few months later they announced she was expecting while we were in the pub having a drink with them. I put a brave face on and congratulated them and got through it, then when I got home both my husband and I cried our eyes out! I then avoided her completely for the rest of her pregnancy and only saw her a few weeks after the baby was born, and even then it was very brief. I dreaded hearing the baby crying, or seeing them carrying her into the house, or the car seat and pram in the back of the car. Then one day I decided that I'd had enough, I was sick of feeling miserable and bitter and angry and I really missed her and thought what a shame it was because we could have been good friends. I decided then to make contact, and we started seeing each other and I got to know the baby and she really is adorable. She lets me hold her all the time (if I want to) which is actually really nice. I was scared at first of how I would feel, but it's made things easier, I see her loads now, and I've even told her about our struggles and she's been so lovely and sensitive. I feel like a weight has been lifted and i don't have to walk around on eggshells and be scared of bumping into her. I know this probably wouldn't work for everyone and it depends on your situation but I have to say it's made me feel so much better. I've even offered to babysit for her. One day I will want her to return the favour, I keep hanging on to that! 

Hugs to you - I know it's not easy xxx


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## Selby88 (Mar 24, 2014)

Hi,
I completely sympathise. I have had to endure  2 Pregnancies next door, same house, different women (maybe I should move in?!) Plus the worst thing has been sitting next to my work colleagues, who always seem to pregnant. And I found myself crying in the toilets every lunchtime because you have to listen to everything about their pregnancy, and everyone screaming congratulations when they walk into the office. 
I feel like a complete cow at times, but realise it's a natural reaction. I don't know how I coped, I just had to. I am sure it does get easier with exposure, and I found that when I get involved and know the babies, it's much easier. Especially when they get beyond 'baby' stage which seems to happen quite quickly. 
Don't feel bad about it, and do what ever is within reason to make yourself feel better. 

Big hugs
Xxx


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