# So Fed Up!



## flossycockles (May 26, 2006)

Hi all

I've been umming and ahhing whether to post or not on here but decided it might help me release a bit.  We had ivf in 2006 and were lucky it worked first time and I am so greatful to have Maddison who will be one in April.  We were left with 5 snow babes.  We had a fet last month which I was convinced had worked but got a BFN.  We were due to return yesterday for FET and reaching the right point but none of our eggs survived.  The embryologist was in shock s she has never heard of so many not surviving.  I am gutted and empty, that is the only way I can describe how I am feeling.  DH and family keep reminding me I am lucky to have Maddison and to think of all the other people who aren't as lucky as us and don't have any children.  I absolutely adored being pregnant and loved every day.  I had a wonderfu water birth and successfully b/f for 6 months.  I am an only child and hate it and always wanted at least 3 children but nobody understands how I feel.  I know I am lucky but I don't feel one is enough and even feel more desperate about having another child than when trying for Maddison.  The next step is ivf again but we don't have any money left.  I've just had enough and feel guilty for feeling like I do when I should be happy with what I've got.  Sorry for rambling on and thank you for reading if you've got this far.  Just hoped I would feel better for writing it down.

Kate


----------



## bib (Apr 17, 2007)

Hi Kate....awwwww huni   Don't be so hard on yourself  

Even though you have been blessed with beautiful Madisson, it doesn't take the want for another baby away.  I think that having been through the tx journey, it is dificult to remove just how big a deal it is to be pg and have gorgeous babies and to realise just what a belssing they are.  Perhaps that's what makes it so special to all the ladies and guys here?? 

We have got to the point where we have decided not to have any further tx, more me really if I am honest, but I do still see other babies and wish it was straight forward to concieve.  Having said that, I don't know if my heart could take a negative result as we, like you, were so lucky that ICSI worked first time.  In a strange way, I would almost expect it to work first time again but I know that it really isn't that simple.

Have you had a real good chat with your dh and explained how you feel??  Do you think he would go  through another tx??

It is difficult huni  

Jo xxx


----------



## Charlies-Mum (May 25, 2005)

Kate

I have no embies so it would have to be a full IVF cycle for us (only had one usable emby - that is now Amy) , and I'm petrified of so many things- not concieving, not being able to cycle again, losing a child - and yet Amy being an only child also is on that list.

I'm an only child and I want at least one more. That longing doesn't go away no matter what.

Sending you a big 
Deb


----------



## jrhh (Feb 6, 2006)

Hi Kate,

Oh hun how awful for you  

We have no frosties either and I can understand your sadness. We will have to go through the whole process again too. Having one child and knowing how wonderful it is makes the craving for another child and also a sibling all the stronger.

Take care

Jacks xx


----------



## lemonjelly (May 7, 2005)

Hi there

So sorry to read your news, you must be devastated.

Please don't feel guilty about wanting another child sweetheart it would be lovely for your little one to have a sibling and for you to have another.

I hope something works out for you.

Love Lemonjelly xxx


----------



## HJG (Jan 23, 2006)

Bless you .... I don't think that it's in the least surprising that having gone through so much and realising the utter joy of holding your own child that you want more.  When I am asked later in life what my biggest regret is ... I will say that I left it too late to have children and didn't leave myself time to have more.  I'm only 32 but DH is a bit older and says he is too old for any more.

The only thing that makes me feel slightly better is that when I think about how much I enjoy Alice and Elizabeth, and my stepson Tom I wonder if I would still be able to do that whilst going through IVF, possibly a pregnancy with all those inherent risks, birth and the early days again.  Perhaps this time they wouldn't be happy contented babies, perhaps this time they would be poorly and I would have to start juggling work and childcare which is so simple at the moment.

My yearning to be pregnant again is much, much strong now I have children than it was before.  Before I was very philosophical, what will be will be.  Now I can't even think about it without wanting to blub.

I hope you find a way through that suits you all you have my thoughts.

HJG


----------

