# Quick rant!!



## star78 (Nov 24, 2011)

Okay so DW and I finally saw our consultant yesterday (DW is 28 weeks with twins)...one of the first things DW was asked was why she'd had IVF...ie why had she had trouble conceiving naturally!! We've been asked this at least half a dozen times now by various medical staff and it's really getting on my nerves. They have our notes in front of them, they have us in front of them so why can they just not realise we are a couple?!!

I know people sometimes take along sisters, mothers, friends etc but it just annoys me that we have to constantly point out that we are a couple...surely we're not the first same sex couple they've seen!!

Has anyone else experienced this? I'm getting to the stage where I just want to write "We're a lesbian couple" across the front of our notes in great big letters just to avoid any further confusion!!


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## Jam&amp;Cream (Jan 27, 2013)

Hi star78, sorry but the thought of you writing 'lesbian couple' across your notes made me giggle. Think we might do too. I really think a lot of people don't even look or use any common sense at all. Last week when I went for my laparoscopy I was asked numerous times 'are you sure you couldn't be pregnant'? Er definitely not, why would we be here? Then told after that my 'friend' was here to pick me up. Really? Friend? Is that the best you can think of?  
Congratulations on your pregnancy by the way. Twins! How lovely for you both. Hope everything goes brilliantly. Xx


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## edroses (Aug 30, 2013)

Haha. "Lesbian couple". Also made me giggle. Like you need a big sticker to identify yourselves? It's like people simply don't think or something. Surely it's not all that uncommon? And the "friend" label also makes me furious.


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## star78 (Nov 24, 2011)

It's awful how commoon it seems for same sex couples not to be referred to as just that 'a couple'...it suggests to me these 'professionals' may benefit from a little equality training!!

In the meantime I'm resisting the urge to grafitti the cover of our notes...I wondered also about rainbow stickers etc, but I'm sure that subtle hint wouldn't even be noticed by some of these people!!


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

maybe you should both wear t-shirts saying 'i love my wife'.


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

At our consultant appointment, I think the midwife thought DW was my MUM... there's only 3 years between us! To be honest, I'm not too bothered. On my notes it says my emergency contact is my wife but it doesn't worry me if nobody pays attention. DW let's it go over her head as well. There always feels like more important things to worry about!


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

A friend took his daughter along with the child's 2 mums to see Santa,  and Santa said to the 2 1/2 yr old child "Which one is your Mummy?' and this was in Brighton! where there are plenty of diverse families set ups. The little girl said that they were both mummy -  seems like it isn't just the healthcare professionals that need some education.


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## ssltw (Aug 29, 2013)

I'm not surprised at any of these stories, people are so unobservant! When we were planning our civil partnership in Brighton we went to a wedding fair, and everyone we spoke to was totally confused. I clearly remember a conversation where a woman asked what date I was getting married, then she asked my DW the same thing, who answeresd "Uh.... obviously the same day..!", then the woman turned around and said "Oh isn't that a lovely coincidence, both getting married on the same day!"   This wasn't the only time either, despite us looking at ideas for our wedding, while holding hands, we still had to spell it out. In Brighton!


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## Jam&amp;Cream (Jan 27, 2013)

Ssltw, this woman sounds incredibly dim! There really is no hope for some people. Especially when your holding hands, it's not like your being shy about it. 
Xx


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## MadameCissy (Apr 2, 2013)

When we got pregnant and all through the subsequent hospital trips during the miscarriage, people didn't seem to realise my wife was my wife. I know we have an age gap (14 years) but seriously, how can people be so thick?! 

It annoys me. I get that they don't want to assume but if a straight woman walks in with a man at her side, they almost immediately  assume he's her OH.


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Madamecissy when I went for my scan with my male (gay) friend despite my notes saying single, known donor ivf and it being the clinic where i had my ivf I  discovered my baby had died and the woman then assumed he was my partner, shut us behind the curtains as she told me to get dressed and told him to take me away for a nice romantic weekend andme in my tears saying he's not my bf.


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## acewillows (Aug 30, 2013)

Oh wow. It amazes that people can be that thick. Have the doctors really never encountered this before?


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## Ecca (Dec 27, 2013)

I went to my GP and asked if she could perform some fertility checks for me, as we where considering having a child. The GP said oh well really you should try for a year before we go down that avenue. 
I replied as much as I love tryng with my girlfriend, I dont think its going to work. I had to pick her chin up from the floor, however needless to say they have sent me for all the tests !


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## star78 (Nov 24, 2011)

Ecca, that made me laugh!!  

We saw our consultant for the first time 4 weeks ago, despite her having our notes in front of her with me listed as the partner, and the fact I was sat there with DW, the consultant still asked DW why she's had fertility treatment!! Honestly, sometimes these people are so dim!!


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

There's no excuse for not reading basic notes but it's often quicker to ask than it is to sit there reading through everything. I don't think any offense is meant! Plus, it's not always as obvious as you think; yes I have a DW but I needed fertility treatment because I'm infertile as well, so I'd rather they asked than just assumed it was because I'm in a same-sex relationship.


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