# During treatment - how ''hermit'' like are you??



## sammij

Funny subject i know - but last night me & hubby were chatting about how ''hermit'' like we become during ivf cycles.

i just tend to go really in myself - i don't want to do anything that involves being round lots of other people and both me & hubby are quite sociable peeps - we luv normally going out!

think it may be a self preservation thing.

we are going to our best friends at the w/end for a dinner party - but will just be us 4 and that i can cope with as they know what we are going through.

Does anyone else go through this - or am i being a miserable old cow!!!

sxx


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## Autumn Jade

I wouldn't leave the house if I didn't have to! I feel hung over all the time and as most of our friends have kids/ babies/ bfps so I tend to avoid them particualrly  I tend to take our dogs for long walks and rely on DH and our two closest friends who also know what we're going through which is nice cause they just have loads of positive messages and I don't have to keep answering the 'so are you guys going to have any kids soon?' / 'how's the 'trying' going?' questions! I even heard of someone who took the whole cycle off work cause she couldn't cope with the people!!


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## needjustone

ha ha so funny. this time i have not told anyone.
i dont call people, i dont want to socialiseas i cant be bothered with people giving me crap advice on something they know nothing about!
i actually really enjoy being a hermit - i may continue when this is all over!

no you are not being miserable -most of us feel like that!

Its just me and hubbie xx


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## tribble

I agree with all of you. There will be plenty of time later to come out of that shell. All the books I've read about all this say just that - permission to do whatever exactly works for you both. I tend to avoid booking in social things when I know when it is going to be. Time to hole up at home & potter. You need your rest & you need time to just be and avoid anything that might upset you out there in the big bad world! Work will be plenty on its own.
good luck xxx


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## M2M

I have been a total recluse during this treatment and I was the same during the last one!   I've turned down all social events since I started d/r and just don't want to see people! I'm looking forward to meeting up with everyone when (not if, WHEN!) I'm pregnant and telling them the good news, as I love socialising, but I just can't handle it at the moment.   Work is bad enough! The only person I really want to spend time with is my lovely DP... everyone else can sod off at the moment.


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## MrsMock

Yep me too hermit like ROCKS! I am loving nothing more than staying at home with hubby and pottering at the weekends.  Finding work hard enough to cope with all I'm good for at the end of the day is an early night and a bit of a lie in at the weekends.  Have told a few people and it's nice getting messages of support too.  I'm enjoying being a "bit selfish" and looking after myself, I think you  are right about it being a self preservation thing.


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## MrsPootle

Hermit for me too!  I did go out to a wedding (I couldn't miss that) but, if I'm honest, I felt a bit knackered and regretted not planning a "go home early" plan... which meant I had to socialise until midnight when the lift home arrived!! 

Trying to decide whether to be "hermit for no reason" next time - I told most of our friends, but, with the negative that resulted - I'm now feeling a bit regretful for being so open.  People ask "so when's the next cycle then?" which is only because they are trying to be nice, but it just feels like it totally undermines the commitment and general hassle the whole IVF process is!!   

So I might try to be a bit more private next time... but I'll still be a hermit!


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## Bex78

I turn into a total hermit.  I really hope the next boxset of 24 is available for my next cycle!


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## MrsC11

we're the same just now, just satying in and enjoying being at home with our wee family....i dont wanna see anybody until im pregnant cos nobody knows what we are going through and im fed up answering te endless remarks liek oh time for another come on hurry up ...wen going through treatment i like to just concentrate on us nobody else matters apart from us three and whats to come .............probably not a very ealty attitude but thats how i feel


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## ♥JJ1♥

hermit for me too just want to be with my donor and his partner. even as an avid shopper who can buy stuff on any opportunity i had no interest at all.


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## sammij

good to know am not alone then!

HERMIT def ROCKS!!!! (mrsMock - superb)

even though i love my best friend and am looking forward to seeing them 2moro night - i am looking forward to sunday at home even more!!

here's to us hermits and all the    for all of us

sxx


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## kitten77

i plan to hermit-ite next tx.  i think i do mostly anyway on previous cycles, (nearly a year ago so cant remember). i can remember being at butlins last DR/Stims and i feel asleep when the show was on! hahaha. is that even possible!!!!?  

so me hermit rocks to, just wanna keep yourself to yourself with DH/DP and thats it - lets be selfish!!!!


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## squiggles

Hello Ladies
I had EC yesterday and am still in my PJs at 12.30pm. I don't want to see anyone or talk to anyone and am quite enjoying it.

This is my 2nd IVF and I had FET earlier this year.  This time I thought I would tell more people and told some friends - however, I had annoying comments like "oo, any news?" "Have you been impregnated yet?" even before I started the drugs! I also told work this time - mainly men but with a female HR manager).  She, I and two of my male managers had a meeting to tell them that I will be having time off work - ok'd by the company and for them basically to 'back off'.  I have a very technical job and don't let my emotions show at work but I couldn't speak as I was crying in the meeting. I thought it would be better but last Friday in a telephone call after my 1st scan my manager demanded to know how much time I would be having off between now and Christmas!!  I tried to explain that I don't know myself and had a scan the following day. He told me that 'it wouldn't kill to send an email'.  Had I just rung in sick for two weeks I wouldn't have had any hassle at all.  'Hermit' is the way to go. 

Best of luck to you all

xx


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## sammij

Hey squiggles

what are bosses like!!  cannot belive that atittude.  are you gettign a sick/ fit note from your gp?

thats what i'm planning on doing if    i get to EC & ET - honestly- companies will carry on wether we are there or not!!

& am sure they will let your work pile up whilst your are off - thats whats has happened to me each time- so i never feel guily about being off!

stay home -rest up & look after yourself

fingers x for your ET

sxx


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## squiggles

Thanks Sammi! 

I am lucky as I get 5 days off from the company for IVF but only in every 12 months.  Am praying to get to ET  and think I may go to the Dr's for a sick note then as I can't cope with attitudes as above. When I had FET I worked from home in the 2 weeks but everyone thought I'd had an operation so was very nice to me! It seems as though attitudes are different for IVF.

Good luck with your injections, EC and ET. xxx


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