# Looking to Start or Going Through Adoption Part 6 2005



## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

New home girls. Good luck to all of you.

Karen x

* Post matching *

*Karen *: Approved at panel on 22nd April. First little girl moved in on 8/11/04, second little girl moved in on 9/12/04

*Bex *(Bex32): Approved at panel in April. X moved in on 8/11/04. Sister moved in on 08/4/05

*Ann*: Approved at panel on 4th November 2004. Matched to two girls, who moved in in January 2005.

*Cindy*: Approved at panel on 27th October 2004. Matched to a little boy who moved in Feb 2005.

*Everhopeful*: Approved at panel in May 2005, little girl moved in on XX/05/05


* Post Panel/Awaiting Match *

*Caroline W*: Approved at panel in September, now awaiting a suitable match.

*Mandy* (MSW): Approved at panel on 3/3/2005, now awaiting suitable match. Preliminary match with 7 and a half month old boy. Matching Panel 19/05/05

*Nat* (Crazy): Approved at panel in March 2005, now awaiting suitable match.

 * Waiting for Panel Date/Panel Result *

* LB *: Home study complete, awaiting panel date

*Ruth*: Panel 2/6/2005

*Morgana*: Home study complete, now awaiting panel date



* Home Study/Prep Course *

*Ang* (Molly 2003): Allocated SW now on home study

*Kylie* (Boomerang Girl): Allocated SW, now on home study

*Homer & Marge*: Prep course September 2004.

*Nicola *(NickyDuncanFinn): Prep course Feb 2005

*Nicky*: Currently doing assessment

*Shannis*: Prep course starts 2/9/04

*Donnalee*: Home assessment started. Panel date of 7/7/05 given

* Georgia * Prep course starts 2/2/05

*Tracey H*: Currently doing home study

* JenniferF* Prep course complete. Awaiting allocation of SW to start Home study

*Pam (saphy75) * Prep course complete about to start home study

* Paddy * *Adopting from RUSSIA * SW visit completed and course starts 3/12/04

* Val 12 * Prep course starts Feb 2005

* Jude2 * Prep course starts April 2005

* Danielle * Initial visit done, waiting for prep course dates

* Magenta * initial visit 21/2/05, prep course August 2005

* HelenB * Currently doing home study

* HHH * Info evening 23/05/05 prep course starts June 2005.

* Fiona * *Adopting from RUSSIA* 


* Initial Stages *

* (Gill) gillywilly * meeting LA on 10/5/05

*Nerys (lochness)* Attending Foster Care Open evening on 27/01/05

* Nic (Hopingforbaby) * Currently considering the adoption option

* Flymypretties * Initial visit March 2005

* Natasha * Intro evening 11th Jan 2005

* michelledawn* Open evening w/c 14/3/05

* Tracey-new* Open evening w/c 14/3/05

* jainey* About to start the journey



* Oh where oh where can they be! *

*Carol *(allineedisamiracle): Currently doing home assessment (not sure if Carol is still posting?  )

*Jo *(jolene): Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW (not sure if Jolene is still posting?  )


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

hi karen....lovely job as always!

am peed-off just now. It seems our GP has not yet bothered to send our medical form back to the SW. She started chasing them up last week, but still no sign!  I wouldn't mind so much but they lodged the cheque in their accounts quickly enough!  

Basically if it doesn't turn up before wednesday then we will have our panel date delayed as thursday is the final day for everything to be there!   

Everytime I try to phone them the magical "person" who deals with that stuff is not there! although probably just as well for them!   

grumble grumble......i hate mondays!


XXRuth.


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Ruth

Ask if you can go and collect it yourself, its your information.  The last thing you want is the GP jeopardising panel.

Good luck
Karen x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi girls

Thanks Karen for new home!

Update from us: We are now 3 days into the introductions and we are feeling shattered!! Our beautiful baby girl already knows who Daddy is and wants him all the time! Slightly un-nerving for me at first but lovely to see dh bonding so well. And today I was there when she woke from her afternoon nap and I got to change her bum!! We had a walk to the park and quite a few cuddles. And as we left, she pulled away from foster carer and reached her arms out... to me!! Brilliant feeling. Cannot describe. Didn't want to leave.

Back again tomorrow, this time to do the teatime/bathtime/bedtime routine, so for me, this is the biggy.

Very long days and quite draining, but we are so enjoying getting to know her.

Fingers crossed, in 1 week she'll be coming home... I'll keep you posted!

  

PS Mandy.... Best of luck for Thursday if I don't get on here again before then
Thinking of you, can't wait to read your exciting news!!


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

ooooh Ever

i bet the smile on your face is huge   
you sound so chuffed - great news that your little daughter was reaching out for you- won't be long and you will be tucking her up every night - bet you just can't wait - enjoy your last few nights of peace and luvvy duvvyness 

cannot wait to read your post when you are bringing her home.

Ruth - hope everything gets to the panel on time - keeping it all crossed for you

Karen -  the list looks great (as usual!) - but wow it is getting bigger and bigger - think there will be a lot of new families this Chrimbo

we are still waiting for our panel date at the moment - have read the form F and that all seemed to be ok. we had problem that some of dh's medical records were missing but that seems to be sorted now - thanks goodness!
a quick question - we have been advised that as we are looking to take two children and that i will leave work we will more than likely be entitled to adoption allowance on a weekly basis - anyone heard of this - i did not think we would be entitled to anything so it has come as a pleasant surprise!


good luck everyone
LB
X


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi Ever, 

Thanks for thinking of me, yes matching panel is on Thursday so only 2 more sleeps till the day we hope to be the official parents to our DS 
It is so lovely to read your posts about life with your DD  I am sure bath and bedtime will go well tomorrow and I can't wait to read about the day you take her home forever.

I went to see the paediatrician that DS has been under and it was really useful to be able to ask some more questions and has put my mind at rest.

The only cloud on the horizon is that i have had a massive row with my parents and we haven't spoken since saturday and it is making me very sad .

Karen thanks for keeping the new thread upto date. Ruth I hope you get your medical info in time. LB hope you get a panel date soon, fingers crossed.

TTFN Mandyxx


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

Mandy


lots and lots of luck for Thursday  - i am sure it will be a day to remember .

also hope everything turns out ok with your parents as soon as possible - sending you a big hug - fall outs are not good but it does happen - try not to get too upset - sure it will all blow over. 

take care
LB
X


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Ever, so pleased to hear everything is going well.  I bdt you're exhausted at the end of today.  I know what you mean about it being slightly un-nerving about your DH bonding.  The same thing happened to me as XXXXX bonded straight away with Lee and took longer with me.  When we had a couple of days break, I had too much to drink, got over emotional and started blubbing "he doesn't like me!!!".  Lee said I was talking a load of rubbish and it was true, and the first time XXXXX turned to me for comfort was like you said absolutely brilliant.  Not long until your little girl comes home and you experience a lot more of those feelings.  (Like Molly I've forgotten, how old is your little girl?)

Mandy, hope everything goes well on Thursday although I'm sure it will.  Sorry to hear you've had a fall out with your parents.  Unfortunately you can choose your friends but you're stuck with your family.  (Although that's not entirely true for people on this thread as we are all getting to choose our family   ).  Try not to let it spoil what will be a great occasion on Thursday, I'm sure it will blow over.

Ruth, I think Karen has the right idea.  You don't want your GP slowing things up for you at this stage.  Fingers crossed you can get it sorted out quickly.

LB, I've heard of adoption allowance, although we didn't get any financial support at all.  I think it depends on the budget available to the authority and also like any other form of income support what your personal financial situation will be.  Hope you get a panel date soon.

Not much to report here, teething, still more forms to fill in, Music with Mummy, blah blah.

Will check in later this week to see how things are going.

love
Cindy


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi Mandy

What's the news then? Come on, don't leave us in suspense!!!!!

Really hope you can sort out the hiccup with your parents, it'll probably seem un-important when you meet your little boy anyway.

Good luck,,,, hoping to hear your good news!!

Ever  


PS For those you don't know, my little angel is 20 months old!


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi Ever Buddy,

Thanks for thinking of me, firstly I gave in last night and phoned my mum, it was very emotional and there are things that need sorting out long term but we are back speaking which is great beacuse I hate upset.

Matching panel went ahead yesterday and we are now the proud parents of our lovely baby boy, he will be 9 months old.      

We meet him 2 weeks today on the 3rd of June and bring him home forever on the 10th of June, yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee          

Our SW popped in and dropped us off a picture, he is cute     .

How are the intro's going?

Now the real shopping starts, so all you mummys already out there what recomendations have you got for Prams, car seats and high chairs and anything you have bought which you have found to be fab?

TTFN mummy Mandy.


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## molly2003 (Mar 28, 2003)

hi msw. im glad your talking to your mum now , i hate falling out with my mum , but we all do it and then feel so bad.
i bet your so excite to see you little son.. congrats.
we go to panel in august. it will allso be my birthday in aug .
where are you in the uk.
you will love the shoping for your baby, have you done the babys room yet and how will you do it.
have a look at this web site there some bedroom things on there tell me what you think 
http://www.wallsofthewild.co.uk/childrens-wall-murals.htm

take care love molly xxx


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

congratulations mandy you are gonna be a mummy  

i'm sooooo excited for you hun, please keep us updated

pam xx


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Congratulations Mandy!!  You must be so excited! I can't wait to be at the "shopping" stage!!  not that I actually like shopping....just all the excitement!

well, our medicals eventually had to be faxed on tuesday, and the cheeky b$*&%ers then tried to charge us for the medicals again! I had a very satisfying rant at the practice manager....who was apologetic! 

But our NSPCC checks haven't come through yet, even though they were requested back in februaury. Our SW has gone ahead with submitting everything anyway, but unless they arrive in the next 2 weeks then all we can hope for is an approval pending those checks coming back.....an anticlimax in the waiting!

Oh well.....what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.....so they say!

XXRuth.


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## Guest (May 20, 2005)

Hello

I'm new at this thread. I have had 4 miscarriages and several failed iui's. Its time to look into adoption. My worry is my age, I'm 42 my dh 40, are we too old to adopt? Can you adopt a baby at any age, ar ethere any restrictions on age?

Thank you!!


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## molly2003 (Mar 28, 2003)

hi latemum.
i dont think age has much to do with it , you will both get a med a the doctors done and polie checks.
i think there is a age but  VERY BIG BUT some towns are different im 35 years old.
i know older ladies who have done adoption like 48 years old where are you from,
do a little home work on it first and have a look on the net. hope this helps ...molly


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Mandy

I am so pleased for you   , not long to wait now.  A really good place I got loads of stuff for the girls from was www.kiddicare.com Their prices are really good and they deliver really promptly.  Another site I used was www.babycaredirect.co.uk again good service from these.

Enjoy the time you and dh have before your lives change unrecognisably, although I wouldn't swap it for the world.

LateMum - welcome to you.  I am sure Cindy won't mind me saying, but you are the same age as her and she has a lovely little 16 month old boy, so no you are not too old.  Some Local Authorities (LA's) like there to be a maximum age gap between child and parent of 40 years.  Best thing to do is contact your LA and ask if they are holding an open evening or if a Social Worker (SW) could be sent round to see you.  Good luck

Ever - what date does your little girls move in with you?

Well the news here is that I am meeting our SW on Thursday and are going to the court house to lodge our papers to formally adopt our girls.  The severe attention seeking behaviour with the eldest is improving but we are having to be strong and deal with the tantrums that are arising as a result of our new resolve, but in the long run things will be fine.  We're off to the zoo on Monday and then I can't decide if I am brave or stupid, but we are taking the girls camping next weekend (they are now 2 and a half and 18 months!).

Hope everyone else is well

Bye for now
Karen x


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## molly2003 (Mar 28, 2003)

hi Karen thats nice the zoo... our s-worker came today to see my partners son who's 11 just for a chat to ask how would he feel with a little baby bother or sister he was relay good what he says aww. it looking really good will go to panel august will get the date next week some time when its all been typed up.
new home here coming girls soon.. hope you are all well and happy


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## bex32 (Sep 18, 2004)

Evening all... Remember me??  Have been reading the threads and am so pleased at the great progress you all have made! So many new families, lots of luck to you all!!

Were doing ok, the first 3 weeks of our baby girl being placed were just dreamy, her brother who came to us in Nov was good as gold.  Now the hard work has really began! My DH went back to work and i am generally coping well, but boy is it full on!! It is non stop from 6.30 untill bed at 7.30.  Luckily they both sleep through the night, or i would be at my wits end.  Our DD is happy and content and just smiles all day, she is so content.  Our DS on the other hand is full on non stop.  He didn't seem jealous to start with but now he is wanting my 100% attention all the time.  This i can't give him due to his 6 month old sister so he play up and have tantrums all the time.  He is throwing things and hitting his sister all the time, he is a real handfull.  One day he is good as gold, the next he is almost uncontrolable.  It is a difficult time and were pretty stressed. I am told it is normal behavior for a 22 month old, so i guess because we have had 2 very close together it just seems harder?  I see you have had a few probs Karen, be good to hear from you.  We talk alot and both feel frazzled but also both agree that the good outway the bad, and we will get through it... i guess it just takes time adjusting to a full house!  and don't double buggies weigh a tonne!!  

Glad the weekend is here so Daddy can help out, i need to recharge my batteries before Monday!!  Will be in touch love Becky xx


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

CONGRATULATIONS MANDY!!!!

*BRILLIANT, FAB NEWS - WELL DONE!!*

Enjoy your time shopping, cos believe me you won't get chance once the intro's have started!! I bought a highchair that is plastic all over - very wipeable! And it has 6 different height settings so very versatile! We'd also considered getting a wooden one that goes into table and chair, but it doesn't fold away and so wouldn't be storage friendly. The pushchair really came down to which one would a) fit in the boot of my car and b) which one was the easiest to fold and carry ! Think practically !
And the car seat, we looked at safety (obviously) and asked advice of the foster carers and people in the shops - they sell and fit them & really are the experts!!

Our intro's finished last night and our baby daughter, I am proud to announce,,, is coming home (for good) tomorrow morning! 
It's just dawning on us what's happening and it's scary but a wonderful feeling to think that after all the years of heartache and despair, we've finally got our baby and are going to be the family we've always dreamed of!


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Wow what great news on here!!!!

Ever, so pleased for you, tomorrow morning it will all start for real, your little girl will be home and you will be a real family.  You're right it is a bit scary but I'm sure Bex and Karen will agree with me it is absolutely brilliant (even with the tantrums   ).  Have a few drinks tonight to celebrate.  Looking forward to hearing about your first weeks as a family.  

Mandy, what can I say but CONGRATULATIONS!!!!  To think in 3 weeks time your baby boy will be home with you, and such a great age.  Like you say now is the time for panic shopping.  It's a bit of a cliche but I found the people at our local Mothercare superstore to be really nice and helpful.  I'd really recommend them or Halfords for a car seat because you need to get one fitted properly and it's not always straightforward as they don't all fit all cars.  We tried 8 before we found one that fitted our car properly.  As I said above looking forward to hearing from you new Mums.

Bex, glad to hear from you again and nice to see that your DD is settling in so well.  I'm sorry to hear about the tantrums from XXXX but unfortunately it is normal behaviour at his age.  I must admit I'm not looking forward to the terrible 2's.  XXXXX is pretty good at the moment but he does like attention and he does like to get his own way (the SW's really matched bim to my characteristics there   ) and I think we're lucky at the moment that his tantrums only last a couple of minutes but I keep worrying that they will last longer the older he gets.  Unfortunately for him I'm quite stubborn so I will persevere on winning any battles.  We've already had a couple of time outs and I think he's beginning to learn what we will and won't tolerate.  As they say on the course, toddlerhood is like having a mini teenager, they just keep trying to push the boundaries. 

Late Mum, welcome to the group.  Karen's lying I'm only 28!! (well in my mind anyway   ).  Unfortunately my birth certificate does say I'm 42 and so is my DH.  I've sent you an IM.

Ruth, I'm afraid there is always something in the process to irritate you.  Hopefully not much longer to go.

Molly congratulations on getting a panel date, it will make a great birthday pressie.

Karen, I'm sure you're right and things will calm down but I have to ask, camping?  I have to say you're being brave.  As a woman who has camped involuntarily at volleyball tournaments (and will again later this year) it's not something I consider a pleasure, give me a 4 star hotel anyday.  However, I reckon the girls will love it and I must admit we'd considered it next year as a cheap foreign holiday option.  Look forward to hearing how you and Rich manage to survive the experience.  How long has the court application process taken you?  I must admit we're annoyed with our SWs attitude to it.  It might not seem as important to them once they've placed the child but it's very important to us and we've just been left to get on with it.  We've filled in all the application but we have to have a copy of the freeing order.  We've phoned XXXXX's SW three times since Monday to get a copy and we still haven't heard back from her!!

We've just been informed that our DS is due for his annual Looked After Child medical so we will have to organise that next week.  However the week after we will be taking him to seaside for the first time.  He's never been to the seaside and we're really looking forward to it.  

Hope everyone else is well.

love
Cindy


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi Late Mum

Tried to IM you but your inbox is full!!!

Cindy


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## gillywilly (Apr 18, 2004)

Hi 
Congratulations to Ever and Mandy what wonderful news. I will be reading your posts with excitement as we wait to have a sw allocated months rather than weeks!!!
Thanks ladies you are such a positive inspiration to those of us at the start of our journey. 
Love Gill


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi Ever,

Tomorrow is the start of the rest of your life as a mummy, yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I am looking forward to hearing all about it. 

Cindy and  Karen thanks for your shopping advice. I have fallen in love with the Quinny Pram and also the Buggy, as it folds up so small wich as my car is a little C2 it is really great. Certainly not the cheepest on the market, but as we have waited 7 years to buy one and also people have been so nice and given us alots of other stuff, i think I will splash out. . Still not decided on high chair of car seat 

Thanks for your kind thoughts Gilly, i hope  it is not a long wait for your SW.

back to work tomorrow and it is MAD as I am trying to fit do much in over the next few weeks.

TTFN mandyxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Ever

Just wanted to say Congratulations for today.  have a wonderful day, it will be etched in your mind forever.

Have a wonderful family future

Love
Karen, Rich and the girls!


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

hi girls

ever hope everything has gone perfect today hun, wow you're a mummy, hows it feel ??

we had our initial visit to discuss our home study today, we are starting our form f next week   and we have made appointments for the next 8 weeks, hopefully that should be enough. also we have our forms for the gp's. i can't believe how fast things seem to be moving now   right i'm going in the bath to relax now coz for some reason i feel exhausted. (could it be because i couldn't sleep last night and got up at 7 and started re-arranging furnature 
and cleaning everything that stayed still long enough)  

take care

pam xx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Pam

Great news on starting your home study.  Don't worry about the house, all they are interested in is whether or not you will make good parents.  I'm sure the next few weeks will fly past and you'll soon be posting about a panel date

Karen x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Thanks for all your support and good wishes. It's much appreciated.

Yesterday went really well. We decided to introduce her to both sets of parents because a) it gets them out of the way! and b) we couldn't wait to show her off!
That went really well, and she slept almost 11 hours solid! What a result!!

Anyway we've paid for it today. Obviously the excitement and attention had been too much and she was clearly still very tired today. Had our first major tantrum! At least that's out of the way!
So now we'll take it easy (like we'd planned to originally) and let her get used to us and her new home before introducing her to any more eager eyes!
She needs time to settle, and we do! I know people talk about it changing your life, but it truly does!

All in all, we're enjoying the first steps in parenting - although slightly tired!
Feel so rewarded though, and full of pride for our gorgeous, beautiful baby daughter. It's definately been worth the wait!

xx


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Ever

So pleased to hear you're daughter is home, it will change your life but in the best way possible.  You're right about needing to settle but once you get into a routine it will be great. (Oh, and welcome to the tantrum zone, we've all been there  ).

Here's to many more happy posts from you.

love
Cindy


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi Ever (mummy)

So happy to read about your first few days with your daughter . I am sure you will settle into a routine very soon. Have fun and enjoy it, tantrums and all  .

TTFN mandyxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Only 10 more sleeps till i meet my little one.


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Ever

Lovely to hear from you.  Understand totally about bowing to pressure from parents (and I had to do it twice!).  I am sure you will get into a routine soon and you'll be surprised how quickly she setttles.

Welcome to the world of tantrums!  Eldest hit me in a tantrum yesterday infront of their SW!  Got praised for how I handled it so quite chuffed.

How long has your dh got off work with you?  Just something to be conscious of as things felt really weird when my dh went back to work.


Look forward to hearing more.
Karen x


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## naoise (Feb 17, 2005)

Hi girls, I have just started off on the long journey of adoption. We have went to our first info evening with an la and they were very nice and informative but the only draw back with them is they get older children that our local council cannot place, I have spoken with them and they have said as I would like two children that we would have a better chance to get very young children. We don't mind about getting a baby we would just like as young as poss. We live in NOrthern Ireland so that looks as if that is going to restrict us. As we don't have to many agencies to choose from. If anyone has any advice I would be really grateful.

LOL Keli


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## jude2 (Oct 2, 2004)

HI everybody,

Not been on for ages and not had a chance to catch up with everything except Mandy and Ever's brilliant news.

We have finished our preparation and assessment groups now and have got a few more sessions with SW (4 or so I think) and then she has said maybe panel in August or September.  She has told us to expect a match within a few months after panel so I'm getting really excited.

Only blot on the horizon is money.  I had thought I was entitled to the same pay as for maternity leave.  But apparently not quite.  My stingy employer only pays statutory minimum and I think for adoption you don't get the first 6 weeks at 90% thing.  It makes quite a bit of difference to me.  I might be able to negotiate with him as I am a board director but if there is one thing he hates its parting with cash!

I have had cold feet a bit recently, all about are we doing the right thing but I know we are really.  Think everybody gets this, don't they!

Good luck to everybody.

Keli:  don't know what to suggest as you are in NI don't know how it works.  Have you spoken to any other LAs?  I spoke to a lot before deciding on ours and you do get a feel for which are going to fit best with your needs.


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Jude

As an HR Manager I can assure you that you get the exact same as statutory maternity pay so 6 weeks at 90% and then the remainder at SMP.  Some employers do honour additional/enhanced benefits in line with their maternity policies (mine did) but they are only legally obliged to pay statutory.

www.tiger.gov.uk is a good website to find out what your exact entitlements are.

Good luck
Karen x


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## molly2003 (Mar 28, 2003)

HI karen can i come on the bord to be in panel date that is 18 aug please can you change it for me ..
we finished our preps and home study now .. thanks molly


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi there

Just popped in while hubby's watching the football   and baby is fast asleep in her cot! This is my quiet time! And I'm enjoying it while I can!

Today's been a good day. Little baby xxxx slept right through the night again and had a good 12 hours! We experiemented with the supermarket run this morning. She sat nicely in the trolley and was very good. We only had a whip round and didn't hesitate down any aisle incase she started! Quite a success all in all.

This afternoon's been nice because I took her out in her buggy for first time on my own. Didn't go far, just to see my Dad, but she had a really good nosy round the house and garden, and had a cuddle with Grandad! Just a minor kick-off when we left because she didn't want to get back in the buggy! I pinned her down - it's surprising how strong a tiny 20 month old baby girl can be when she's in a rage!! But I won that battle!  

Then after tea, I bathed and washed her hair by myself for first time, and she was really good. No tears until I had to pin her down to put a nappy on her! Once she had her jimmies on and a bottle of milk she was fine. Lots of giggles and cuddles! I said to her "Come on, let's go to bed" she picked teddy up and walked herself up the stairs - didn't even turn around to say night night to Daddy (!), I lifted her into her cot and closed the door. Not a peep! That was almost 3 hours ago!   Amazing but true! Her foster family really worked wonders in the bedtime routine department! 

Not holding my breath though, I've heard of the honeymoon period with adoptions - but hoping this stays the same... can't believe how well she's adapting. Fingers crossed.

First sw visit tomorrow. And I'll be doing everything in my power to make sure she doesn't throw a wobbler while they're here!

My hubbie has the two weeks paternity leave off work, and to be honest I'm dreading him going back. But slightly more confident after today.

Bye for now x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Ever

Its lovely to hear about your day.  I remember those first trips with trepidation about whether or not they will through a tantrum.

Our girls have been with us for nearly 6 (youngest) and 7 months (eldest) and between them we have only had two nights (one each) where they have not slept through (not counting getting up to plug eldests dummy back in, which most nights is never!) and that was through to illness and teething.  I am sure if you have a good routine bedtime is not a problem.

Look forward to hearing the next installment.

love
Karen x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Well I've been to the court house this morning and filed for the adoption order, just have to wait for a hearing date.  However because the freeing order was done in County court there is a greater waiting time than at Magistrates.  Also the court hold them on specific days to avoid other court activity that may hamper the day, they like to make it special.  So the girls are officially protected children and parental responsibility now legally lies with court.  Another milestone.

Karen x


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## gillywilly (Apr 18, 2004)

Hi Karen
Lets hope the date comes around quickly bet you cant wait. A day you will never forget. Good luck your story fills me full of joy.

Love Gill


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Ever

It was really nice to read your post.  So glad things are getting off to a great start.  I can sympathise about the "pinning down" problem, they are surprising strong for small ones, aren't they?  I was diagnosed with tennis elbow and realised that it was from me trying to go one way and my son trying to go the other.   

I'm sure you'll soon get into a routine and things will continue to get better and better.

love
Cindy


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

You sound blissfully happy Ever! And Karen, I can't believe how quickly it's all gone for you....already going to court! Time flys!

Only 3 more days till we go to panel now! I think I'd be getting quite nervous if it wasn't for the fact that I'm absolutely stacked at work....am here now on this rainy bankholiday monday.

We got our stuff about whose on our panel etc, and was slightly disappointed to see one person who we met at the open night. She kept calling my husband Dr, and me Mrs.....when it's actually the other way around (not that my DH is a Mrs.....! at least not to my knowledge)......not exactly a prograssive woman who would assume that if there's a Dr. in a couple its going to be the Man! Even after I corrected her she kept doing it. I actually am completely happy being refereed to as Mrs, but to assume the man was the Dr..... ......I really like this emoticon!!

anyway I'm sure I'm just focussing on these trivial thing to stop me thinking about what's actually happening on thursday.....

better get back to work,
XXRuth.

PS anyone else having difficulty in getting email notifications when a new reply is posted here?.........possible my email blocking them.


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Everyone

Well apart from the terrible two's episodes we survived our first camping trip with the girls.  the weather was gorgeous and it was great to see them having so much fun.  I really need to be less conscious about what other people think about my child having a terrible two tantrum, I don't think I deal with them effectively because I am so concerned by what others think and always think I have "Adoptive Mum" stamped on my head and that I am being judged.  This parenting lark is tougher than I thought.

Ruth - good luck for panel.  I am sure you will be fine.  Don't forget to post your news.  Re: e-mail notifications, due to the site server being upgraded some functions are currently disabled, should be back on line soon.

Hi to everyone else.

Love
Karen x


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi Karen, great news about court and l am so glad your camping trip went well. We all know that the terrible two's affect most children and I am sure you are doing a great job. Keep up the good work. .

Ever, so happy to read about life as a new mummy   how are things going? bet ur upto you're eyes in it   , so will wait till you have time for another update. Hugs and kisses to you little girl.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

Ruth, good luck with Panel this week. I have everything crossed for you. 

I just had a call from my SW to tell us that our meeting on friday should be at 2pm, yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the day I get to meet my special little boy     

We have now finished his room and put up the cot  and he has more clothes in his wardrobe than me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. And as for toys, I think we will need to move house  just to fit it all in.

Only 2 days left at work and sooooooooooooooooo much to do. So beter stop surfing and get on with it 

TTFN Mandyxxxx


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## jude2 (Oct 2, 2004)

Hi everybody,

Karen, gald your camping trip went well.  My husband and I love camping and this is one of the little daydreams I have when i want to cheer myself up about the process, as sometimes I feel I forget there will be a child or children at the end of it (hopefully!).  Thanks for sending me that link but I am afraid the pay is not quite the same.  The first 6 weeks at 90% doesn't apply to adoption pay.  I think  a lot of employers do pay it but this is one of the problems with working in a small company.

Ever:  you sound so happy, thanks for your positive messages they are great.

Mandy:  best of luck with the meeting.  You must be so excited and scared!

Love
Jude
xxx


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Hi everyone, nothing happening here.  Still waiting for our sw to be allocated for our home study.  We have been waiting since our preparation course ended and that was 10 weeks ago.  We were told up to 12 weeks but time drags on. 

Good luck to all those going to panel. 

Mandy - not long to go now 

Karen - glad the camping went ok.  Yes it is embarrassing when your child has a tantrum and all eyes seem to be looking your way but the good news is that they soon grow out of it when they can talk enough to be understood and get their feelings across.  The worst my son was was when he had 6 tantrums in one day!!  That was a memorable day as you can imagine.  I didn't know he could scream so long and hard and it is very hard to strap a little rigid body into their car seat!!  Tickling works best there I found    Don't know why people say the tantrums begin in the terrible twos as most children seem to start their tantrums aged 18 months!!  Glad to hear that you have been to the courts and another milestone is out of the way. 

Ruth - I'm not getting notified of replies on here either. 

Hi to everyone else.

Jenny


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## TraceyH (Apr 14, 2004)

Jude

I thought you might be interested in this information from the BAAF web site. I think you have a case to fight for regarding your adoption pay. Surely every employer has to abide by the Employment Act. I am lucky and work for the Civil Service and their rules and regulations are completely different, for the better.

"New rights to statutory adoption pay and leave and statutory paternity pay and leave came into force on 6th April 2003. They apply to couples or single people adopting a child within the UK.

These rights to statutory adoption pay and statutory paternity pay are provided for in the Employment Act 2002, are set out in the Statutory Paternity Pay and Statutory Adoption Pay (General) Regulations 2002 (Statutory Instrument 2002 No. 2822) http://www.legislation.hmso.gov.uk/si/si2002/20022822.htm

Statutory Adoption Pay is paid for a maximum of 26 weeks at £102.80 or 90% of average weekly earnings (whichever is lower).

Statutory Paternity Pay is paid for a maximum of 2 weeks at £102.80 or 90% of average weekly earnings (whichever is lower).

Detailed guidance of the entitlements to leave and pay for people adopting a child within the UK can be found in the Department of Trade and Industry publication at http://www.dti.gov.uk/er/individual/adoption-pl518.pdf

Summary leaflets are also available: Adoptive Parents - Rights to Leave and Pay (PL515 Rev 1) http://www.dti.gov.uk/er/individual/adopt-pl515.htm Paternity - Leave And Pay (PL514 Rev 1) http://www.dti.gov.uk/er/individual/paternity-pl514.htm

An interactive guide to adoption and paternity leave and pay entitlements is available at http://www.tiger.gov.uk/adoption/index.htm"

Good Luck

Tracey


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## caron (Sep 1, 2003)

Hiya girls 
I hope you dont mind me joining you all , I've been "watching " for months now and its amasing to hear how your all progressing  

well we finished our prep course today and should be hearing from our sw within the next 3 weeks as to what we do next, we always seem to be waiting for something these days   

good luck to you whatever stage your at
love to friends old and new caron xx


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi Caron

Welcome to the group, we are a friendly bunch . 

I see from you info that you cycled at care in manchester, me too. Good luck with your adoption journey. Which LA are you with? Hope you get going with your home assesment soon.

TTFN Mandyxx

PS only 2 more sleeps till I meet my little boy


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Jude

Tracy is right in what she has posted about pay, regardless of the size of the organisation (unlike some other legislation i.e. H&S and Disability) they have a statutory right to pay you.  As of April 2005 the rate went up to £106 per week.

Karen x


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## caron (Sep 1, 2003)

god Mandy you must be sooooo excited , good luck for friday 

we are in n/wales so our LA is gwynedd apparently a very small agency but they are part of a consortium of 6 other LA in n/wales , think we are going to be a challenge for them as we have lived abroad for yrs in a few differnt countrys but never registard in any of them so god knows how they will check up on us , why cant anything we do be straight forward  

love caron xx


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

we've been approved!!!!

very emotional......quite shaky in with the panel, but managed to survive with blubbing till I got into the car!

a million text msgs to send, so better get on with it!

XXXRuth.


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## molly2003 (Mar 28, 2003)

hi ruthie well done hun i bet your so excited ... your going to be a mommy so soon.      
its my b-day 11 aug and on the 18 august we go to panel and on the 24 aug we going to the USA disney land with my dh and step son a big treat for him and us.   well done lets hope its not to long a wait now untill you get your baby or child congrats        xxx...


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Ruth

Fantastic News     Hope you don't have to wait too long for a match.  Know what you mean about text messages!!!  Enjoy your remaining child free weeks/ months

Love
Karen x


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## nats210 (Apr 25, 2005)

Just popped by, occasionally look through as we may be looking into this option.

just wanted to congratulate Ruth what wonderful news.


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

CONGRAUTULAIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hope you don't have to long to wait, keeping my fingers & toes crossed for you.


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

CONGRATULATIONS RUTH! 

GREAT TO HEAR YOU'VE BEEN APPROVED. HOPE YOURS IS NOT A LONG WAIT.

KEEP US INFORMED! AND ENJOY YOUR CELEBRATIONS!


EVER XX


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hiya Mandy

Just a note to say I'll be thinking of you and dh tomorrow... your big day has finally arrived, and it'll be wonderful! Believe me, you may be nervous but you'll have the best feeling in your tummy once you've seen him... mine's still fresh with it only being 3 weeks ago! It's a moment/day that'll stay with you forever.

Enjoy it!    

Can't wait to read your next posting... you'll be smiling from ear to ear after meeting your little man!

Good luck, although you definately won't need it!

  xxxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

mandy

Good luck for tomorrow.  As Ever says its a day that stays with you forever.  Hope you have a good time, won't be long before he's home with his new mummy and daddy

Love
Karen x


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

Hi girls

Ruth - many congratulations - a major milestone under you belt - well done - hope you have some credit left on your phone  

Mandy - good luck for today - will be thinking of you - the excitment must be huge.

Caron - hi sweet pea - hope you are fine and dandy - wow can't believe how quickly your course came round - great news - looking forward to following your journey and i just know you are going to get there XXX

Karen - pleased your camping went well - reckon you will be doing a great job but i understand the feeling of the "adoptive mammy" bit - just grow your fringe longer   


our new is after much sending of letters and making phone calls we are still trying to track down some of dh's records that are missing - but it is not going to stop us moving  forward - thankd goodness!

and yesterday we received date for the panel which will be 15th June - feeling sick already   - i am sure the next two weeks will fly over!

good luck everyone
LB
X


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi LB

      Great news about your panel date - it will soon be here - will be thinking of you

superal
        x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

LB

Great news on the panel date, not long to wait.  Good luck

Karen x


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## jude2 (Oct 2, 2004)

Hi everybody,

Lots of good news:

Ruth congratulations, let's hope you don't have long to wait.

Mandy:  hope everything is going well for you.

And LB;  great news on panel.

Thanks for messages about the pay, I know they have to pay me that measly £106, but I did think until recently that you got the first 6 weeks at 90% which would make a big difference.

Never mind, we will be fine anyway it would just be a bit easier.  I am now going to make myself even poorer though as we are thinking of moving.  Our house is just about OK for one child but it would be a real squash with two, especially as my husband works from home.  We were going to wait until I went back to work but have realised we can afford to do it now if we only pay interest for the year I am off.  I wonder if this is going to delay things for us though?  As they need to approve your house as well as you.  I will speak to SW about it on Friday and see what she says.  I think from kids' point of view it would obviously be better if they don't need to move again after they are settled.

Got lots of homework to do this weekend, if I can force husband into it!

Love to everybody
Jude
xxx


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi Buddies 

He is fantastic, Such a happy smiliey baby.    

We are having just the most amazing time getting to know him and he's all mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    .

I am on   Didn't sleep a wink last night so now just about to go to bed so night night buddies.


MandyZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi Mandy

Brilliant to hear you're enjoying the intro's. Any idea of placement date yet?

You will find them very tiring but very rewarding! Enjoy them and get your sleep whilst you still can! Believe me, it's worth it though!

Take care, sleep tight xx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Mandy

Glad to hear you are on cloud nine.  Hope the inro's go well and you will be welcoming your little boy home this week.

Love
Karen x


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi

Another wonderful day with our son. Nearly burst with pride when the waitress in the pub where we were having lunch commented on how cute he was.

Plan is to bring him home on friday. Meet the health visitor tomorrow and his first visit to our house on tuesday.

Mandyxx


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Mandy, congratulations on your first intros, no wonder you're on   and long may you stay there.  Look forward to hearing more stories about your son.

Ruth, many congratulations to you too.  Hope it doesn't take too long to get matched up.

LB, I won't cross my fingers for your panel next week because I know you'll be fine, but I will check in to see your approval post.

Molly, not long until your panel date.

Karen, pleased to hear the camping went well, any more news on your court date?

Well we had a nice time at the seaside apart from the fact that I sprained my back putting him into his travel cot and have been hobbling around hunched over since Wednesday night   .  Got an appointment with they physio tomorrow to hopefully put me straight but in the meantime poor old Lee has had to pick up a lot of the slack (including nearly all the nappy changes  ).  It stayed dry all week and we actually managed two beach days which XXXXX loved.  At his first ever view of the sea he pointed and said "Bath"!! but he loved running into the waves and we had to keep a tight hold of him or risk heart attacks.  One disconcerting moment was when we were at a park and he ran off towards this woman who said "oh watch out your Gran and Grandad are after you".  We'd had problems with him sleeping the first couple of nights but I didn't think we looked that haggard!!    So I just pointedly said "come to Mummy, darling" and bless him he did.

On a final note, we've posted off our adoption forms so hopefully not long until it's all legal.

Hope everyone has had a great weekend.

love
Cindy


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## molly2003 (Mar 28, 2003)

hi Cindy
i would have gone over to the woman and told her you was the mum not granny..then told her you had a hard life and had 10  kids..
that would have pit her in her place. i think she must need glasses...
i would have gone mad,,
but I'm glad you had a lovely day out at the sea side...
yep not long now before panel date and then were of to DISNEY WORLD USA if all well at the panel i will be in baby shops over there.
we go way 26 Aug. my hubs just paid for it all now ..
i keep asking him to talk me to the airport to get the buzz.. were going with his my step son who's 11 years old... he is so excited . well good luck ladies if going to panel or waiting for placement... hopefully me soon love molly...


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## gillywilly (Apr 18, 2004)

Hi Molly
What wonderful news I can only imagine how excited you are.
Us well top guy at LA emailed me they are very busy and it looks like September before we will begin home study hey thats ok I know we got to be patient. At least the email confirmed there desire to continue with us which made me feel fab. We have a new house which needs gutting so I will keep busy and obviously ff and you guys are always there to remind me we will get there!!!

Love Gill


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi Mandy

just wanted to wish you all the best for tomorrow (Friday).  Hopefully this is the day you will be bringing home your son forever.

I can remember the days exactly as if it was yesterday when we brought our 2 home.  It's a memory that will last with you forever.

With our ds because of his age he had already been to our house a couple of times already & just ran from one room to another!

With our DD only being 9 months of age at the time, I carried her from room to room telling her which room was which!

I carried her as DH had ;his arm in a sling at the time! (another story!!!)

Anyway I've gone on a bit more than I intended, you know we are ll thinking of you & can't wait for you to let us know how things are.

ENJOY BEING A MUMMY & DADDY


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## morgana (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi all, 

been fab catching up on everyones good news.

Mandy, good luck for tomorrow

our news is that we have been offered a panel date for September but I have just been offered a new job which is going to be much better for us as a family so we have decided to delay until November panel date because it would be very rude to start a new job and then go off on adoption leave.

The new job will mean 15 mins travelling each way every day instead of an hour each way, flexible hours and better pay so will be ideal if I decide to go back to work at a later date after the adoption.

Our SW will do one more visit on us at a later date to make sure everything is OK otherwise there would be a big gap between our last home visit and panel and we are still waiting for a couple of bits of paperwork, i.e. my police check and medical report.

So all in all things are going great,we will hopefully be moving to a bigger house in a couple of months too so the kids can have their own bedrooms when they come.

Will pop in again soon if I have any more news and congrats to all our new (and not so new now) mums and those going through the final stages, and a big welcome to all those starting off on the journey. It seemed to stretch out in front of us when we first started but I can't believe how fast the time has gone.

Love to all

Morgana x


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Congratulations to everyone as you all seem to be moving along this adoption train  

Cindy - sorry to hear about your back and also the comment that was made about grandparents    I am older than you so hope I don't get any comments like that or I will be cross.  Never had them so far and I had my natural son when I was 40.

Nothing happening here as we are STILL waiting to be allocated social worker for home study  

All the best to everyone

Jenny


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## jude2 (Oct 2, 2004)

Oh dear Jen,

You have been waiting a long time.  Poor you.

I went to a local adoption group meeting last night.  I have to say it was really depressing.  All of them were having huge probs and one of them said all the joy had gone from her life.  Really scared me.  But i think maybe people only go to those sorts of things when they are having a tough time.  I hope so..  They were all old hands had had children for between 5 and 14 years.

Wasn't what I was hoping for anyway.

Hope everybody else is ok,

Love
Jude
xxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi everyone

Jude - Sad as it sounds on the days that are really bad I always think back to how happy this house was before kids.  But then they go to bed, we start another day and its soon forgotten.  There will always be hard parts to parenting and I think it is harder in some ways with adoption because you want to do so well for the kids and feel a huge sense of responsibility not to fail them.  The good always outweighs the bad though.

Mandy - good luck for tomorrow hope the meets/intro's have gone well this week.

Morgana - good luck for the new job and great news about panel.

Jenny - can't believe you are still waiting, hope you hear something soon.  We did our course with Dudley, at the Priory and their's differs so much to W'ton, so my SW keeps referring to things on the course that we didn't do!

Cindy - posted to you on the Mummy's thread!

Well we've received a letter from the courts to say all the LA's paperwork has to be with them by 18th July, but i know it is all done and ready to go so hopefully they won't sit and wait to send it or to action it at court if it is sent earlier.  Had a rough week this week with the yooungest having to go to hospital and stay overnight for obs on Monday.  She had a fever and ended up having a convulsion, very scary, but all fine now.

Right off to bed, jut finished a mammoth ironing session (yuk!!!)

Karen x


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Karen - sorry to hear your youngest wasn't well & you ended up spending a night in hospital for obs,hope shes OK now.

It's very worrying when they are not well, I always feel so helpless.

I wonder if you came across the same situation as we did when our ds needed hospital treatment.

I'm sure you know what I mean, where were they born, was it a full term pregnancy?  These are questions we were asked when he had to have grommets fitted in his ears.  I just looked at my husband as if to say "what do we say".

Of course I was very honest, I had to be & say I didn't give birth to him , he is adopted.  The nurse turned around to us and said you would never know, he looks so like you both.  I'm not quite sure what adoptive children are supposed to look like..do they have two heads, have a tattoo on their head saying I'm adopted, I just don't know.  Again you have to put it down to people not knowing what to say.

Anyway I've gone on a bit more than I interned to again, I easily get carried away when I'm hitting this key board, it's like therapy!

Hope you are all fine & good luck to everyone else who are at different stages of the adotpion route

TFN

Superal

        xx


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi Ladies, after a painful visit to the physio the back is all better now so I'm up to sitting at the computer.

Karen, posted to you on the Mummies thread.

Morgana, congratulations on the new job, and hope you get settled in well before panel in November.

Jenny, we've been laughing about the grandparents thing ever since, I normally get comments that I don't look as old as I am so it was a bit of a shock, but I reckon she was one of those women who had her kids at 16 and was a granny 4 times over.  Sorry things are taking so long for you, it must be so frustrating, how is your son taking it all?  

Jude, I have to agree with Karen.  XXXXX was a real pain today, he's teething and was in a bad mood and really clingy.  However, one little smile and you forget all that and just want to cuddle them.  I'm shattered, haven't read a book in ages (I used to read at least one a week), seem to spend most of my life ironing and yet I wouldn't change a thing.  I think if you speak to most parents, adoptive or natural, they will say the same thing.  You say that most of the people at the meeting had had their kids for between 5 and 14 years so I bet most of them were dealing with puberty/teenage years which as I've seen with family/friends is difficult whether your kids are adopted or not.  Be realistic, it is a bit scary but in some ways we have more support than natural parents.

Superal, it's good hearing the experiences you've been through, it's nice to hear from and "old hand".  I though I'd find it hard to say that XXXXX was adopted but I haven't.  I don't tell everybody but when I have to mention it, it doesn't seem difficult.  It sounds silly but I feel so proud, it's like "look like what they've given us, isn't he great!".

Well hopefully we've had our last Looked After Child review today and it went fine.  They're perfectly happy with the way things are going and as we posted our adoption application forms last week we hopefully won't have another one.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

love
Cindy


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi everyone,

First night went well, he slept from 7.30 pm to 7.45am, with just a little grizzle at about 2am, just left him too it and he was soon back of to sleep. 

Today has been great we have been out for a walk and had a few visitors popping in. His Gran and Grandad phoned this morning to see how he was.

So far he has been on baby jars of food but did try him with some cooked apple tonight with petie filou be he is not keen at all and he was a bit sick so didn't have much tea and this ended up in him wanting his bed time milk early and he was in bed for 6.30!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i just hope i am not up with him from 5am

Oh the joys of motherhood. He obvioulsy thinks heinz are a better cook than me.

Dh is soooooooooooo tied he is off to bed now. i don't think I'll be far behind.

TTFN mandyxxxx


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Morning Mummy Mandy!!

So pleased your little boy is home and doing well! How are you? Exhausted?!!

Our little cherub has been with us 3 weeks tomorrow - and now we can't imagine her ever not being here, it's weird!

You're still very much at the getting into a routine part of it, aren't you, and I found that was the hardest, and most tiring. But you will be fine once you're settling into the new way of life!
It must be very different for you having a proper baby though, to us having a very active toddler! It was more us having to learn the new routine and adjust to things than her, she toddled in on her first day and made herself right at home!
It's lovely to show them off and you will feel proud and excited for people to see her, just make sure you take time for yourselves aswell, don't regret missing those first couple of weeks, like I did.

Anyway, my dh has now been back at work for a week, and although we've both missed him dreadfully, I have enjoyed it. Now it's really about me and my little girl getting to know each other! 

Enjoy your getting to know each other time - it's very precious! And if you ever get chance inbetween smelly nappies (and if your little boy is anything like my xxxx, then they really will be smelly!!!) and feeding time at the zoo, oh! and of course, getting some sleep (!!), then please pop in and let us know how you're getting on!

Take care, and enjoy !


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Ah Mandy, welcome to the bags under the eyes group.     Glad to hear your little boy settled in so well.  I wouldn't worry too much about the food angle.  I tried for ages to get XXXXX to eat cheese with no success but now, following a visit to our friends where he had cheese on toast, he's decided he likes it.  Look forward to hearing many more tales from you on the "joys of motherhood".

Ever, glad to hear you and your cherub have been having some bonding time.  I must admit I find it harder going to work now although it's only 2 days a week.  It's been 4 months now as a Mum but the novelty still hasn't worn off and all I want to do is spend time with him.

We took XXXXX to nursery for the first time on Thursday morning, we decided to do it so that he could mix more with children his own age as there are no Mums and Toddlers groups in our village.  Obviously it also gives me the opportunity to earn a bit more money.  Felt really bad because he cried when I left him and cried when I picked him up.  I phoned during the session and they said he was playing happily and apparently he played most of the time but just occasionally became tearful when he realised I wasn't there.  The nursery nurse said that she felt he would be fine and I know he will be but couldn't help feeling like I was deserting him.  He was teething so that may have been why he was so miserable and hopefully he will be better next week.

Keep your fingers crossed for us girls because we need to sell our house.  We've seen a house around the corner which would be great for us because it has a massive garden with loads of room to extend and for XXXXX to play in.  Unfortunately we only have a small garden and it is almost all decking as we had it landscaped when we thought it would just be the two of us.  We like our house and if we're not successful in buying this other one we won't move, but we really want the other house to happen.  Downside of all this is the extra tidying up that will be needed for the viewings.  Had the selling photos taken and ended up stuffing a load of toys in the garage to clear space.  Nothing like  a child to add clutter   .

Hope everyone else is well.

love
Cindy


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Mandy - just wanted to say congratulations now your bundle of joy is home with you both.

My DD was roughly the same age as your DS & she also preferred Heinz food to my home cooking!!!!

Good luck to everyone else who is at various stages of the adoption process.  I don't know about being known as Superal, I'm becoming known as the "old hand"  I'm only 38!!!!!!!! I don't feel that old & I know you are all saying it out of the kindness of your hearts as I have been on the adoption road longer than most of you.

I'm only happy to share my thoughts & to offer advice where I can.

TFN
"Old hand" AKA Superal


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi everyone

Mandy - congratulations on becoming a Mummy.  Don't worry about the food, just persevere and he will be eatng your home cooked food before too long.  My youngest at 12 months came to us on jars and rusks and within a month she was eating normal things with her sister.  Think that helped though.  But there were numerous things we try and she doesn't like but on another day with the wind in another direction, hey presto she eats it!!

Superal - its great to hear your experiences.  Like you our dd's look like me and dh and so the hospital staff were quite shocked when we said.

Ever - glad to hear you've settled down with dd now dh has gone back to work.  Hope those baby blues are now at bay.

Cindy - have IM'd you.  Don't worry about the nursery.  its taken my two a good six weeks to settle (only going once a week) but now they love it.  Can't get eldest to leave and youngest excitedly waves good bye each time.  They start to go twice a week from next Monday as back to work 4 weeks today.

Hope everyone else is ok.  its been very quiet on here.

Karen x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Been really busy lately so have not kept the list up to date (I know I need to sit in the naughty chair!!!) Its nearly time for a ne thread so can you post or IM me any updates or corrections please.

Thanks
Karen x

* Post matching *

*Karen *: Approved at panel on 22nd April 2004. First little girl moved in on 8/11/04, second little girl moved in on 9/12/04

*Bex *(Bex32): Approved at panel in April 2004. X moved in on 8/11/04. Sister moved in on 08/4/05

*Ann*: Approved at panel on 4th November 2004. Matched to two girls, who moved in in January 2005.

*Cindy*: Approved at panel on 27th October 2004. Matched to a little boy who moved in Feb 2005.

*Everhopeful*: Approved at panel in May 2005, little girl moved in on XX/05/05

*Mandy* (MSW): Approved at panel on 3/3/2005, little boy moved in on 10/06/05.



* Post Panel/Awaiting Match *

*Caroline W*: Approved at panel in September, now awaiting a suitable match.

*Nat* (Crazy): Approved at panel in March 2005, now awaiting suitable match.

*Ruth*: Approved at panel on 2/6/2005, now awaiting suitable match



 * Waiting for Panel Date/Panel Result *

* LB *: Home study complete, awaiting panel date

*Morgana*: Home study complete, now awaiting panel date

*Ang* (Molly 2003): Panel August 2005



* Home Study/Prep Course *

*Kylie* (Boomerang Girl): Allocated SW, now on home study

*Homer & Marge*: Prep course September 2004.

*Nicola *(NickyDuncanFinn): Prep course Feb 2005

*Nicky*: Currently doing assessment

*Shannis*: Prep course starts 2/9/04

*Donnalee*: Home assessment started. Panel date of 7/7/05 given

* Georgia * Prep course starts 2/2/05

*Tracey H*: Currently doing home study

* JenniferF* Prep course complete. Awaiting allocation of SW to start Home study

*Pam (saphy75) * Prep course complete about to start home study

* Paddy * *Adopting from RUSSIA * SW visit completed and course starts 3/12/04

* Val 12 * Prep course starts Feb 2005

* Jude2 * Prep course starts April 2005

* Danielle * Initial visit done, waiting for prep course dates

* Magenta * initial visit 21/2/05, prep course August 2005

* HelenB * Currently doing home study

* HHH * Info evening 23/05/05 prep course starts June 2005.

* Fiona * *Adopting from RUSSIA*



* Initial Stages *

* (Gill) gillywilly * meeting LA on 10/5/05

*Nerys (lochness)* Attending Foster Care Open evening on 27/01/05

* Nic (Hopingforbaby) * Currently considering the adoption option

* Flymypretties * Initial visit March 2005

* Natasha * Intro evening 11th Jan 2005

* michelledawn* Open evening w/c 14/3/05

* Tracey-new* Open evening w/c 14/3/05

* jainey* About to start the journey



* Oh where oh where can they be! *

*Carol *(allineedisamiracle): Currently doing home assessment (not sure if Carol is still posting?  )

*Jo *(jolene): Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW (not sure if Jolene is still posting?  )


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

hiya karen

no need to sit in the naughty chair just yet    i don't know where you find the time to do the list 

but if you do get a mo please could you change mine to currently doing home study, our 3rd visit will be on wed   so if things go to plan we are almost half way through the visits. where is the time going  

thanks, pam xx


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

Hi Girls

just want to let you all know that we were approved at panel this morning - we have been approved to adopt two children - just hope that we find our family soon.

good luck to everyone

LB
X


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

CONGRATULATIONS LB

Hope you get matched up really quickly, so pleased for you.

love
Cindy


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## morgana (Aug 31, 2004)

Congrats LB, will keep my fingers crossed you won't be a mummy in waiting too long

Karen we are definately going to panel in November (so you can update list)


Morgana x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

LB

  * Congratulations  *  

Hope you're not waiting too long for a match. What ages did you go for?

Keep us posted.

Love
Karen x


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

*CONGRATULATIONS LB​*
thats great news, hope you are not waiting too long for a match

pam xx


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

congratulations LB!!!!

you must be thrilled!

let hope neither of us have too long to wait for the next stage!!

XXRuth.


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## Nats (Aug 22, 2003)

Congratulations LB   

I bet it wasnt half as bad as you thought!, well done and good luck for the next few months whilst you wait for you little one/s to arrive!

Love Natsxx


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## jude2 (Oct 2, 2004)

Congratulations LB, let's hope your wait isn't too long.

And Mandy, congratulations on becoming a Mum.  Hope your little one is settling in fine.

I can't get on here at all at work now so can only manage on the odd evening, so always a lot to catch up on, but usually good news.

We have just had another visit from SW, talking about our relationship.  it was quite good fun actually, she has a good sense of humour.  Also got our report back from our assessment group and it was all pretty positive so I'm pleased about that, another hurdle over.

Now that things have progressed so much we have decided that we are going to move house.  So house on the market and I am traipsing around London , mostly on my own as husband really busy at work at the moment, btu he's nto escaping completely as I have 7 houses lined up for him to look at tomorrow.  Finding it quite hard to buy a house with some imaginary children in mind.  And we can't quite decide on area, the old value for money problem.  Quite a few people have said to me it's really important to have a kitchen you can eat in so you can keep an eye on them when you are in there, and then other people say it doesn't matter.  Thing is we have seen a house we really like with a big living/dining room (with wood floor so easy to clean up their mess!) but the kitchen is a bit small.  Could fit a high chair in there but nowhere to eat except dining room.  I worry we are being impractical but we both really like it.  Cindy, really sympathise with the tidy house thing (though actually I quite like it:  husband is messy so now I have a good reason to get him to put his things in the dishwasher rather than on top of the bench!).

Oh dear, I'm rambling.  Thanks for your messages about support group and good and bad days.  I do feel really positive still.

Karen:  can you update me (a bit) we are hoping to go to panel in September.  Sorry to ask you to change stuff, I don't know how you find the time!  Sorry to hear about your little one's illness.

Good luck to all and sorry if I have missed anybody,

Love
Jude
xxx


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

CONGRATULATIONS LB - Officially now a Mummy!

Well done, hope it's not too long a wait!

x


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## caron (Sep 1, 2003)

LB - CONGRATULATIONS NEW YOU'D DO IT MATEY    

CANT BELIEVE HOW QUICK ITS ALL GONE FOR YOU , OUR LA AGENCY IS SO SMALL THEY ONLY HOLD COURSES TWICE A YEAR IF THERE LUCKY , FEELS LIKE AGES SINCE WE FINISHED THE COURSE BUT ITS ONLY 2 WEEKS   AND SW DID SAY SHE'D BE IN TOUCH IN ABOUT 3 WEEKS , HAVE A FEELING WE ARE GOING TO BE A REAL CHALLENGE FOR THEM , GOD KNOWS HOW THEY WILL CHECK ON US WHILE WE LIVED ABROAD , AH WELL WE WILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE !!

love to the rest of you whatever stage your at

caron xxx


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi everyone.

LB greta news about your panel. I hope your wait for a match is not too long now. 

Our news is one week of motherhood under my belt and all is going well, 1st mums and toddlers today and DS was the star of the show smiling away at everyone. He has been suffering with his teeth, he has 4 and a 5th one on the way, so this afternoon he was really under the wether, but it turns out he's got CHICKEN POX   my poor baby. He was in close contact with a little one at his foster placement but i was hoping he had escaped but no such luck, so i am in for a bit of a rough ride this week i think. 

Loving every minute of it though. 

TTFN Mandyxx


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

hi ladies

thanks for all the congratulations from everyone - we are approved for two children between 1 and 8 years.

Mandy hope you wee solider is soon fighting fit again.

Caron - always knew you were a challenging sort of lady   - can't wait to see you progressing down the road XX 


good luck everyone
LB
X


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

LB - belated congratulations to you  

Mandy - chicken pox - oh dear.  Still they say it is best for children to catch it whilst they are young.  Good luck with the nursing  

I am still waiting to be allocated my social worker and it has been 3 months since the preparation course ended so I am ringing them tomorrow to find out what is going on as they said it would take up to 3 months  .

All the best to everyone

Jenny


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Jennifer

Just another option if you don't get any joy.  Have you tried ringing W'ton, as they send their adopters on your LA's course (we did ours with your LA).  They may be able to allocate and SW quicker and might not need you to do the other bits again?

Good luck
Karen x


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## Nats (Aug 22, 2003)

Hi everyone

Just wanted to say to Jennifer, im sorry you are having to wait, its such an awful time, I know as we waited 6 months to be allocated a SW...and here we are agin, after being passed at panel....and more waiting!  

Just to let you know I am keeping everything crossed for you.

Love natsxx


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi Girls

Mandy, sorry to hear little one has chicken pox, but like Jenny I've hear that the younger they get it, the better.  Hope he/you don't suffer too much.  My little boy's not looking much better today as he fell over in the park and split his lip open.  He was with DH who was slightly freaked out by the amount of bleeding but XXXXX wasn't too bothered although he now look like a prize boxer!!

Jenny, sorry to hear it's still taking so long for you, hope you got some positive news today.

Jude, welcome to the "tidy house" brigade, although we are the other way around to you as I'm the messy one and DH is the tidy freak.  I hope you have more luck than us, the market is really flat around here and we haven't had any viewings yet.  However it's only been 2 weeks and the house we want to buy is still on the market so there's still hope.  I wouldn't worry too much about the kitchen thing if you are happy with the house there is no reason why prospective juniors can't eat in the dining room.  To me the more important space thing for kids is the bathroom, you can't believe how much manouvering space you can need when you're changing nappies.   

Well, we have news.  We have a court date!!!  Thursday 21st July XXXXX will legally become our son.  I can't believe it's come around so quick and am so excited.  We're trying to arrange to have a party for all our family and friends on the Saturday to celebrate, so I'm having to check out the local acommodation.  

Hope everyone else is well.

love
Cindy


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Dear Cindy

Excellent news about your court day.  It is just such a special date & xxxx really will be yours - it's an amazing day & such a relief once it's over.

Enjoy your special day.

When we adopted our 2 we also had a party but on the same day & bought them both something from us to them to mark that special day for ever.(they are now in the memory boxes)

So pleased for you


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Cindy

That's great news.  We are still waiting to hear and the LA have until 18th July to do the paperwork.  Shouldn't be long after that and like you its party time!

Karen x


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

Hi everyone

Cindy - great news on the court date - you are gonna have such a celebration 

Karen - hope you hear soon from your LA - i am sure it won't be long

Jennifer - keeping my fingers crossed for you today that you get some good news

dh and i have gone into Panic mode as SW visited yesterday and advised us that we have been selected as a potential match for two sisters - we have seen their forms and can really see how they thought we would be a match - the oldest girl in particular - her likes and interests match perfectly - it's a bit unreal to be honest

well we are off to talk AGAIN - its so exciting   but a bit scary too!

good luck everyone
LB
X


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

LB

Great news.  Keep those feet firmly on the floor!  How long before you find out if you are the "chosen" ones!

Thinking of you and dh

Love
Karen x


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

That sounds great LB....so quick!

we know we're going to have to wait for 3 months at least for a match. Our SW has said that we most likely won't get matched up with children from our LA in a year, cos we live in the main city of the LA area and it "generates" the most looked after children and cos they don't like placing children in the same city they've come from. But despite this we still have to wait 3 months before looking elsewhere....just as well we've got a load of building work to do or I'd be driving myself and DH mad!

good luck to all you approaching big milestones!
XRuth.


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Great news LB, just wanted to add my congratulations along with every one else.

For those of you who are still waiting remember there is someone special out there for all of us.  I know the waiting game can be a long & frustrating one, jumping everytime the phone rings, been there, done that.  It will happen for you all & the day that phone does ring you will remember it for ever!

Keep you chin up as my SW used to say 

Keeping my fingers crossed for you all.

superal


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Just wanted to say thanks to Cindy, LB, Nats and Karen for your advice and sympathy.  I have been trying to contact duty worker at local council all week and finally got through today.  They only have duty workers in the morning and sometimes they go into a meeting and can't be contacted - stupid system    The head honcho I spoke to today was very surprised to hear how long we have been waiting since our prep course ended in March.  She said she authorised us to be moved forward back in April so didn't know why we had heard nothing but would be having a meeting on 1st and would get back to me then and could only apologise for the delay.  Said she would be sending out forms to complete for our medicals and to take up references from our referees.  One referee to be family, one long term friend and one local friend who I see on a day to day basis who I have known 3 years or more.

LB - wow - that didn't take long to be potentially matched did it  

Karen - thanks for your suggestion of contacting W'ton which I did.  Had a chat with a nice lady who said that unfortunately we would have to go to the bottom of the list and begin again with the exception of the prep course so there would be an approx 2 month delay to get in this position again.  As W'ton seem so much more switched on I think we will go with them and start at the bottom again.  Got to think about it over the weekend.

Hi to everyone else.

Jenny


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Oh Jenny ...............Just wanted to send you a hug, hope you have better luck with W'ton.

I know it's along time ago since we adopted but it does make me realize how lucky we were.  We didn't have half the battles you've faced.

Try to stay positive. 

Superal


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

New home this way girls.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,31934.0.html

Karen x


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