# how to stop it taking over your life...again



## kitten77 (Nov 15, 2006)

hi there.

well as you can see from my signature we had our blessing in a natual pregnancy after 6 failed iscis/txs. 

the thing now is we would like to have another, and due to cost, we are unable to fund yet another isci....which never worked anyway.... so are still trying naturally.

but.....how do you stop getting obsessed with it i said to DH that we wouldnt let it take over our lives....but it is taking over mine!! i want to start using the CBFM again but dh says thats a step to far. i totally understand how he doesnt want to get back into the 'rut' of TTC and neather do i. but i want to feel like im doing something.

im also sick to death of people saying we should be happy with the one....of course we are, more than happy he is everything we ever dreamed of and more....but does that mean we should just stop trying? 'Normal' people dont stop at one becuase they should be happy with just one, and its getting right on my nerves.  if we are never blessed with another then that is fine and i know we are the luckiest people ever, but ....well you know. am i just being greedy? should i just stop.

sorry, im just renting really.


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi Kitten,

I honestly don't think there is a way to stop getting obsessed.  How can you, when you want another so much?

I went on the pill for a year after DS was born and I had the attitude if it happens it happens once I stopped the pill.  However, as soon as I felt ovulation twinges I wanted   and then symptom spotted and was then gutted and down when AF appeared.

This continued every month and right up until our next lot of treatment started.  

Sorry, I don't really have any answers, just wanted to say you are certainly not alone in how you feel.

X


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## coucou2009 (Sep 12, 2012)

DEar Kitty,
I know how you feel. I  conceived my 4 year old daughter naturally and am not trying for a second. After trying ourselves and spending a lot of money on the fancy fertility reading kits, we have been seeing a fertility specialist. AFter 6 failed iui`s we are going for ivf. it is hard because i have the one but would love another one for the family. i see the toll it takes on me and it is hard because you wonder when should you just say this is it. it is hard. there is no right answer...... good luck


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## KLconfused (Jan 2, 2010)

I understand some of what your going through. We cannot get pregnant naturally because the sperm don't really work so weve booked in for ICSI again in October and our little girl is nearly 4 months now. 
Now that we have decided we shall get treatment in October its starting to take over my life again. I want it to be October now and I feel so broody. I too get really annoyed when people say be happy with what you have. Especially as they are usually people with several kids! Most people don't need to justify why they want more than 1 child, they just do and I think its the same for us. I have tried to convince myself I am happy with 1 child and have tried to stop myself now and just enjoy my gorgeous girl. With ICSI I can also tell myself how awful the whole thing is and how costly and im already anxious about EC. But none of it makes me want another baby any less. 
So I don't have an answer but I feel your pain. We shouldn't have to justify why we want another baby, no more than anyone who didn't have fertility issues has to. 
Good luck


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

i think you need to take 'holidays' from ttc. because it drives you crazy. if you don't you end up with your life on hold. i suggest over a year ... 2 months vits/planning....2 months ttc, 2 months off....2 months vit/planning ... 2 months ttc, 2 months off. 

during the 'off' months you just get on with life, have a drink if you want, skydiving, whatever... during the vits/planning stage you dont try actively (keeps you from wondering) but you load up the vitamins healthy eating etc in preparation.... then 2 months actively ttc...


this way you have half a chance of it not taking over... xx


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## tigershaz (Mar 7, 2011)

Hi kitten,
I am in exactly the same boat as you, my gorgeous son was conceived naturally after six years of ttc, failed tx etc, we were taking time out to consider our options and have a break when it happened. Ds is just over one now and we are desperate for a sibling for him, I too am trying to balance ttc naturally (we won't have any more tx as it doesn't work for us, I'm a poor responder) with getting on with life and enjoying our son. I really don't want ttc to take over life again, but its hard, especially with us being a bit older, am already worried about when we draw a line in the sand and admit defeat, how do you make that decision, I guess age will make it for me.

I think that goldbunnys advice was great, taking regular breaks is a good idea, you need that to stay sane, and do nice things that you both enjoy. I have actually started using the cbfm again but have not told dh, as I don't want to put pressure on him, I just scuttle off to the bathroom in the mornings to do it, I have great faith in it as ds was conceived using it, it picked up a really late ovulation that I could never have predicted myself and hey presto!

Wishing you lots of luck and babydust, fingers crossed for you x


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