# am i able todo this???



## wishing4miracle (Sep 7, 2006)

ok im an egg sharer and ive started stimming.the only prob is dh has kind of now left me.the only thing i can think of is carrying on for the other lady and see what my dh makes up his mind or to give all my eggs away.am i able todo this??to give them all awway if dh doesnt want any of this tx anymore??

hayley


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## Milly40 (May 8, 2007)

hi Hayley,
          so sorry that you are going through such a tough time.   .....sounds like your DH may still be grieving after your M/C...I remember when I had mine .... it took a long time to get over the shock....have either of you had counselling?.....
Concerning your egg share...it is such a personal choice... in the mean time your DH might come round to the idea..................however you could abandon the Tx for the moment while you sort things out as all the medication may cloud your judgement and you need to think logically......as this is your marriage at steak.......there are a few questions I would ask myself before making a final decision......
do you want to save your marriage.....is this the first time anything like this has happened...??
how would you feel if your recipient had a successful PG and you didnt get back with your DH......??
I do hope you can work things out and it all has a happy ending....the stress of IVF is massive on any relationship.....we have all been there....you are not alone and I am sending you lots of hugs and positive vibes.......    

  Love Milly


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## wishing4miracle (Sep 7, 2006)

not much said about this.


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## mashie (Apr 6, 2005)

Hi Hayley
i am so sorry you are having such a tough time at the moment 
i dont really know what to advise you - i think milly made some really good points - but i didnt want you to think you werent getting enough responses 
i believe you have to make this decision yourself but if you really want other viewpoints , then... 

i think you are 25 and still v young so you still hopefully have time on your side to have another cycle  ,and your eggs should still  hopefully  be ok in a few months time , given your age , when / if you and your DH sort yourselves out -

personally ,  i think its a lot to deal with , having a donor cycle and to sort your marriage out at the same time may be pretty tough 

i realise you probably want to just get on with it , but if you and your DH do get back together soon , perhaps you both may need some time to get close again etc before going through the ivf donor cycle - its always best to start these things as close as possible as we all know what a strain the whole thing can be-
  also as the sharer you wouldnt have to wait that long for a fresh cycle would you would you ? - and if you do the cycle and give all your eggs away , could you really handle the donor recipient getting BFP while you are not in a position to ?  

i think  your potential egg sharer would understand if they knew your situation and they will still get eggs from another donor soon , so you need to work out what is best for you 

reading my reply back , my advice seems to be pushing you towards leaving the cycle till another , calmer time in your life, hopefully soon -- but really you need to do whatever feels right for you - there is no right or wrong answer - the main thing is to be kind to yourself 

good luck -- we are all here for you 

love mashie xxxx


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## eggsharer (Oct 22, 2007)

Hi again wishing4miracle

You could always freeze your half for the future but you could certainly give them all away if you wanted.  I hope you and your DH have managed to patch things up as one of the others suggested counselling sounds like a good idea.

x


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