# Starting the journey to adoption



## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi girls 

Thanks for all your kind thoughts on the Inbetween thread. I am now feeling alot better about things and have a new positive outlook. I am feeling really excited now about the prospect of becoming a Mum and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I actually managed to walk around the Babies R Us section in Toys R us yesterday without getting upset!! 

I have made contact with our local adoption agency. We are booked to attend thier next open evening in January. We will then have to have all the interviews to be vetted and cleared and then have to do a training course. It may take 12 months. We have told them that we would like a babv of no more than 12 months, but they have suggested that we consider having siblings one a little bit older say 2/3 and their baby brother or sister, particularly as we would like two and there is no telling what the circumstances may be in a couple of years time when we would like a second. we have been told that if we register with another agency then we won't be able to do the course with our council. However, once we have done the course, the council have access to children in other counties.

I have told most of the people who knew we were having treatment and troubles so I have nearly conquered that. They are all so excited too. But I also feel now that if those spiteful few who constantly ask when is it my turn, I can now say with confidence that Rich and I can't have children and not get upset about it. 

My next goal now is to lose two stone. I have spent so much time in the last 2.5 years thinking of ttc and nothing else I am going back to the old me, including drinking!!

We have started to plan some 'us' time. It is my 30th b'day next year so we are going to fly to Dublin for a long weekend, then today, we have chosen a hotel for our summer holiday in the Algarve and then we will go to Scotland with the dogs in September, and maybe with some new additions to the family.

I'll keep you posted on our journey, and would love it if others of you who are planning or going down this route to join in and share stories. Good luck girls.

Love
Karen x


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Karen

I salute you, what more can I say. 

You are both to be very much admired. This is so exciting I cant wait to hear your story.

Love Lou xxx


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## Mel (Jan 1, 2002)

Karen,

It all sounds so exciting, i had all goose bumps reading that and a few happy tears, it sure sounds as if things are taking a turn for the better for you both and i know it wont be long until you have those little angels. .

I know adoption can take time but it will soon be here, i have cousins who are adopted and to be honest with you they were more my counsins than our blood cousins if you know what i mean, my aunt and uncle had the same problems as me (knackered fallopian tubes) so they adopted and fostered and she also had myself and my brother through the holidays and i loved every minute of it, of course they are grown up and leading there own lives now but they are still very much part of our family.

I wish you loads of luck in the world and please dont be a stranger i know i for one would love to hear how it is all going.

Take care ((((((((((((hugs to you both)))))))))))))))

Mel

x x x x


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## Debbie (Mar 22, 2002)

Hi Karen

Wanted to wish you loads of love and luck as you start your journey.

Love Debbie xx


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## *Kim* (May 5, 2002)

Hi Karen

I too wanted to wish you all the luck in the world. They will be very lucky children to get you and Rich as their Mummy and Daddy.

Love Kim


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## Debs (Mar 22, 2002)

Karen,

I too want to wish you all the very best.

Its so very exciting. The 12 months will fly by and before you know it you will have a little family of your own.

Keep us posted.

Love

Debs xxx


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Crikey Karen I dont think I read your post properly, 12 months will just fly by!!!! Thats really exciting, bet you cant stop thinking about who they will be, just wonderfull

Love lou xxx


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## kylepaul (Sep 14, 2002)

hi karen,
my dh & i have also started the adoption process.we also have to go to an open evening in january!exciting isn`t it?
we where told to expect the process to take about a year or so.
we are already blessed with a 7 year old son(secondary infertility) he is always asking us for a brother or sister?
because of his age we have asked for a child under 5 and we can except a baby.
like u say a year sounds a long time but i`m sure it will fly by!!!!
where do u live?i`m in e.sussex.
goodluck to u both,take care

love justine xxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi girls

Thanks for all your kind thoughts. The lady at the adoption agency did say that if we start as planned in January, we could be cleared by June, but it may then take some time to place a child/children with us. It very much depends upon the circumstances of the child i.e. if they are subject to a care order you could be matched but it may take 6 months before the adoption process goes through and they are officially adopted by us.

I have an added advantage in that with working for the police, I already have a very high level of security clearance.

Justine - nice to have someone else who is starting the journey too. In answer to your question, I am in Shropshire. I have just ordered a book from amazon about adoption which has got rave reviews, it should be here in about two weeks. If it is all it is cracked up to be, I 'll post the title for your info.

Best get ready for work. Catch up with you all soon.

Love
Karen xx


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## Vicky W (Jun 24, 2002)

Just wanted to say Good Luck Karen & Rich on starting your journey.

The best thing about the adoption process must surely be the fact that not only are two people who long to be parents getting the opportunity to realise that dream but also a child or children are finding a home where they will get all the love and nurture that they deserve.

I'm sure you will be brilliant parents and I hope the process goes smoothly for you and you find those little angels waiting out there for you.

Lots of luck,

Vicky


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## kylepaul (Sep 14, 2002)

hi karen,
i`ll keep u posted on our progress!
i would appreciate the name of that book if its any good,thanks.

love justine xxx


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## Sheila (May 28, 2002)

Karen, Justine and DHs

Wanted to wish you all the very best with the adoption process. There are going to be some very lucky and well cared for children in Shropshire and East Sussex I'm sure.

Friends of my family finally gave up on IF tx and adopted brothers about 3 1/2 years ago. They went on to adopt a little girl earlier this year. All of these children had really crap homelifes have florished in their care - its been a pleasure to see 3 scared young kids actually begin to enjoy their childhoods because of this couples selfless actions.

I wish you all the luck in the world 

Love
Sheila


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## lydia (Apr 2, 2002)

Hi Karen,
I have just read your messages and i know exactly were you are coming from.
I have been ttc for five years and have five attempts at iui and two cycles of icsi all of which was unsuccessfull.
Our last attempt was in June and we were hoping to start again in January, but we are so tired of the whole fertility business.
It does take over your life and your body is not your own, I used to feel so guility every time I had a glass of wine.
I am extremley lucky to have a seven year old son from a previous relationship and in October Jack (our son ) was at church parade, so we both went to watch him carry the flag. Sat in front of us in church was a couple with two beautiful daughters and I overheard someone say that the girls were odopted.
Paul my partner said to me 'maybe that's what we should do' and from that moment we haven't looked back.
The next day I rang my local council who sent a social worker out to see us and tomorrow is the last day of our training course.
All I can say it is like a weight lifted off my shoulders, to think no more visits to the hospital and adopted feels so right for us.
The training has been really interesting, although I would say the only fault being that it is more catered for fostering rather than adopted. The social workers have been really supportive.

good luck 
please keep in formed as it would be great to keep in touch
Tracey 

Incase you are wondering Lydia was my nana's name, so I use it as my luckly charm.


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Tracey

Thanks for your message it is nice to read about someone elses experience in this area. It is so surprising how quickly I have adapted myslef to thinking about IF differently.

We start our course in January and the social worker said theat we would more than likely get cleared by June. In the meantime I'm just getting read up on as much as I can.

How long did your council say it would take to place you with a child?

We have decided to opt for adopting 2 one of say 2/3 and their baby brother/sister.

We have a couple of holidays planned for next year so we are really hoping that we can turn one into a 'family' holiday.

Good luck to you. Keep me posted with your journey.

Love
Karen xx


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## Lucy (May 27, 2002)

Hello Everyone

Well, I haven't ever been to this thread before, but I have just read through your posts, and I wanted to post to say hello! You all seem really motivated and positive, and I guess that after all the trauma of unsuccessful ivf or other experiences it must be good to be following this path. I feel very uplifted by your outlook, and would like to wish you all the very very best. There are some very unlucky children out there who are going to become some of the luckiest with you as parents.

Lucyxx


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hey Karen,

I read your "story" with much interest and felt that I had to wish you both the best of luck.

Some of my family have mentioned adoption to me and I have shrugged it off.....wanting to have my own baby, however, what you have said has made us re-consider.

Perhaps you or any of the other girls could tell me how you get started on this road?

Where are you in the chain of events at the moment?

Lainexx

Me 38 Dh 35. Un-Explained. TTC 9 years. About to undergo first attempt at IUI.


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## Bev H (Nov 4, 2002)

Dear Laine
Hi - just thought you would like to know that another thread is on the go re-adoption (myself included) on "starting the journey to adoption II" this is the more current one. Nice to have you on board - well maybe
Good luck with all that you decide.
Love Bev H xxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Laine

As Bev said, we have a more up to date thread going on here...part 2. At the moment me and dh are at the stage where we have our first social worker visit, on Wednesday this week.

If you go onto the part two thread, there is a message on there from me in one of the earlier pages, that outlines the process how it operates in my local authority.

Glad to have you on board and hopefully see you in part 2!

Love
Karen x


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