# your old friends



## Elle72 (Mar 13, 2012)

I am sure I am not saying anything new to those in this particular section of the forum, anyway felt like sharing what my supposing best friend told me when I shared my decision to have a baby, Actually it was either this or either adoption at that time.

She told me from the top of her perfect life, with 2 kids, devoted husband, wonderful family, SHE told me ( endometriosis, No DH, no nice family, 7/8 surgeries I don't even remember how many, lots of pain from my past, depression and whatsoever) THERE ARE OTHER WAYS OF GIVING you know. 

Honestly? Really?

I am very tempted and in a way hoping she is saying this because of the catholicism in her blood, I really hope so in a way, that is someone else speaking for her.
Plus who authorized you to tell me what to do? 

I did not ask for an advice, I was stupidly asking for support, and not even emotional support but more I would say physical, "you know if you need me I can arrange to be there" that stuff.

Instead a got a nice preach, happy days.

So the other friends I have told, just a few that ARE going to be there for me, before telling them I warned them I did not wanted to be discouraged or adviced, since my decision was made.

One I am sure thinks I am crazy but still accepts my decision and I appreciate her support, she is a friend who does not judge me or who even if judges me is there for me.

Of course it is painful that my best friend known for 37 years well she calls only when she needs to talk about her things, her hubby problems. After my talk, I did not receive one single call to know how am I doing.

So I guess I will have new friends   time for a change


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## Stubborn (Jul 1, 2011)

I'm not in your situation but just want to send you  

Your friend sounds annoying   and you will make plenty of new ones once you have your LO


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## janeo1 (Sep 27, 2006)

Sorry your BF has let you down when you needed some support and just a bit of understanding. I hate the way some folks seem to want to  put everyone else "right" about what they should or shouldn't do with their lives  .  I guess some people in life and more takers than givers and can't see past their own needs.  At least you have other friends who will be supportive towards you.  Good luck to you x


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## MistyLake (Jul 7, 2008)

Hi,
Yes life can be so unfair. What you have to think is that she is not very evolved, because her life has not required her to evolve....she has what I call 'had life on a plate' She is a 'LOP'. You on the other hand will be infinitely more sophisticated than her simply because of how hard life has been on you. Incidentally, I hale from very similar circumstances to you, minus the BF, as I chose to let go of people that made me unhappy a long time ago....and I have met lots of really great people since I had my son. So have faith Honey.
ML x


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## Elle72 (Mar 13, 2012)

thanks girls  I know I will meet a lot of nice people and it's not like all my friends are like that, thankfully!!!
This thing just made me realize I need to let go those people who pretend to be positive but in reality they are just negative for me.


One of the changes in me after I have taken this decision is that I actually care less about what people think. When I was at the open evening all by myself surrounded by couples well, I did not care


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## Sima (Aug 10, 2008)

Hi Elle - when I first started this journey I did not get much support from friends.  They weren't negative as such but just told me to wait and find someone my parents on the other hand were nothing but supportive of me. Things have changed a bit with time.  I have more support from friends but there are still those who are negative but this has more to do with their worry for me given my medical history than doing this as a single lady.  The way I deal with this is I just pick and choose who I speak to.  I don't want to loose any friends but those who do not support this journey I simply don't tell them what I am doing.  It is hard because I would love to share but I need to keep my energy for getting through this journey and I don't have the energy to have to justify my choices to other people.

Good luck with your journey


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

I so relate. I have a close friend who chose to tell me AFTER I was pregnant that she didn't agree with my choice due to her religion.    Very unhelpful for a hormonal terrified first time mum.  It took me a long time to find a church that i feel doesn't judge me for my desire to be a mum.

My friend and I are still friends but it hurt like heck!

Saying that it was only one friend who said that and the 10's of others I have really applauded me for my bravery!

Dawn


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