# 3rd BFN - it doesnt get any better



## kitten77 (Nov 15, 2006)

hi. just wanted to post really. 

found out on sat that we got our 3rd BFN.    we didnt tell anyone we were going thro tx again as didnt want to upset everyone like usual, was hoping would be able to tell them some good news for once.  even tho got to OTD (never done that before) it ment that our hopes were up that it worked.....it hadnt.  to see only one blue line on the test was like my heart had been ripped out. 

i just feel angry and sad, i know its normal, but i thot i would be used to it by now with yet another negative. 

the clinic says that everything is perfect....so why isnt it working. 

i ahve read on hear about asking for tests, which is what i wanna do, but i dont really understand what i should be asking for? does anyone know? 

anyone have any plan of actions that they are doing for next tx?


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

so sorry hun   i don't have any advice about tests but i'm sure someone will be along soon who can help. in the mean time why not check out the investigations and immunology board here's the link http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=52.0

pam xx


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## SarahPooh (Nov 7, 2006)

Hi Kitten

First of all just wanted to send you a hug  .  

By all means go and have tests etc - I don't have any advice on those either (other than to say that my clinic automatically puts women on Clexane (blood thinning drug) after a BFN if there was apparently nothing wrong, embryo was good quality etc, and it might be worth looking into this (there is a test to see if you need the blood thinning drug but apparently it's expensive, about £1000, and they have found that about 40% of women who are tested for the blood clotting thing come out positive anyway and the side effects of the Clexane are minimal so they just put people on it anyway without subjecting them to the test unless the woman wants it.)  

The second thing I wanted to say was that I had two BFNs after apparently perfectly good embryos but what the consultant said to us was that it's a "numbers game" - that even in natural conception only 20% of embryos are ever going to have the genetic potential to make it to babies, so if in an IVF cycle you have say 10 embryos, only 2 of them are likely to make it but there's no foolproof way of knowing which 2, and sometimes if everything seems perfect but you are getting BFNs you just have to keep trying, it's just a matter of time.  (Believe me, I know it sounds easy to say "just keep trying", with the financial and emotional burden that presents, but I just wanted you to know what the doc said to us)  I hope you understand what I am getting at, I have just read it back and I don't think I've explained very clearly... not sure how else to put it though.

I know just what you mean about "upsetting everyone", I felt just the same and so did DH, I was dreading telling them all again this time we had another BFN this time because I was convinced it hadn't worked and I felt I was letting everyone down and like you said you just want to be able to tell them some good news.   I really really sympathise hun.  I just wanted to say please don't give up hope.

I wish you the very best of luck and am sure someone will be able to point you in the right direction for further tests etc.

Take care,

SarahP xx


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## ayrshirelady (Aug 31, 2008)

Hello,

All my thoughts are with you. Unfortunately I have just had a 3rd failed cycle. In saying that it failed it we successfully got lots of eggs this time 12 in total where 7 fertilised. Unfortunately I began to bleed day 12. Devastating as by day 12 we were so hopefull that this time I would be thirds time lucky.

We have 5 frozen embies. I have never had a try with frozen. Our clinic is saying they will defrost all 5 as there is apparently normally only 70% survival rate. I was gutted at this. I thought 5 would give me at least 2 more shots.

Feeling very much this is a last ditch attempt. So upset and frustrated. We have had no clues as to why I have had 3 natural pregnancies which all failed at 12 weeks. Then 3 failed IVF cycles. We really don't know where to turn now.

I guess I'm looking for some hope from some lucky ladies for whom it has perhaps worked even after such a woeful tale.

Take care and all the best to you.

Ayrshire lady


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## kitten77 (Nov 15, 2006)

hey ayrshirelady - 

right, havent got a positive tale to tell you but want you to ask your clinic something about FET.  When i had my first cycle i had 3 embies which were ok to use, one went back in on fresh cycle and 2 were frozen. as we only had two frozen and they only wanted to put back in 1, i asked if they could just defrost one at a time. 

so they did, defrosted one at a time to see how it was going, and if it wasnt looking good would have defrosted another one.  as it was, first one defrosted ok, and was put back in, and second one deforsted good as well!  remember 70% is the 'average' doesnt mean thats for you! keep up the positive thots babe!!!! 

also ask for investigations as to why your natual pregnancies failed at 12 weeks (so sorry hun ). 

as it is, im now hoping for EC next week for my forth go (seems a while ago i started this thread!)-- so now thinking positive and hoping for our postive result and bonus if get frosties! 

hugs.


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## ayrshirelady (Aug 31, 2008)

kitten77,

Thanks for your story about the embryo defrosting. I will ask if it is possible for them to defrost one or two at a time. It seems unfair to defrost all 5 at the same time. What if they all made it through they can only transfer two back! That would be such a waste and so sad.

MY FET discussion is this Friday 1st May 09.

I've had investigations into my 3 natural miscarriages all tests came back negative. After 3rd miscarriage they tried to do tissue tests after D&C but for some reason they couldn't do the tests. So no answers to either the IVF failures or the miscarriages I'm afraid.

Can I ask you say you have had 2 embies defrost successfully. Did either result in a positive result? presuming from your post not. Good luck for the future.

Ayrshire Lady


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## cobweb (Apr 10, 2008)

Hi, I hope you don't mind me interrupting.  

I am now 9 weeks pregnant (very weird)  I never thought it would happen - poor sperm motility following mumps on DP part.  We had 2 failed ICSI prior to this one (heartbreaking).  I too was looking at all the tests but the clinic suggested Assisted Hatching - we did this and it worked.  I can't prove this is why it worked and I took Q10 as a supplement, upped my protein intake and drank full fat milk.  Can I suggest that you raise the possibility of AH next time?  

Good Luck, it is so hard, it is a numbers game but you have to keep trying, if it is what you really want there will be a way; modern science is a wonderful thing.

Best Wishes


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## kitten77 (Nov 15, 2006)

hi thanksfor your message.  congratulations on your pregnancy!!!!!!

well im a on the 2ww now....day....7 - and already have the AF pains (and yes i know that people say that they do but this is my 4th time and exactly the same as all the others) - so not holding out much hope. 

but thank you for the positive story!!! i will defo be asking about tests and i will bring up AH to, thank you.


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## Corie (May 6, 2009)

Hi, I just read through the posts and i had tests after my M/C 10wks & 5 wks (£580) which said I had a higher clotting factor but I have also been told that about 40% of people carry it. So they put me on the works - clexane (blood thiner), Baby aspirin, steroids, High folic acid, high progesterone for this last FET and still didn't work! Remember the good thing for you is you have time on your side and your body knows how to conceive - I do think it will be just a matter of time - gotta just hang in there! wishing you lots of luck on your 2ww! xx


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