# Naming



## Cornflower (Jun 5, 2011)

Hi gals, a friend just sent me this article and I thought I'd share it with you all. Its mainly about the thorny topic of the children having first names that we may not necessarily be that ecstatic about. But there's also some interesting stuff about the high numbers of children currently making their way into the care system and the fact that there aren't enough adoptive parents around.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2140586/Scandal-babies-parents-wont-adopt-theyre-called-Chrystal-Chardonnay.html?ICO=most_read_module

PS - Its from the Daily Mail. So is inevitably somewhat opinionated..... 

/links


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

And likely incorrect!
I know most adopters want MORE information about their children, not less!
Sounds like this person doesn't really know much about adoption e.g. research showing how much better it is for children to have some form of contact, even just so they don't build up unrealistic images.
Of course their words could easily have been twisted.


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## Maccer (Feb 2, 2010)

I had a read of the article earlier and I agree with thespouses, as a potential adopter I would definitely want more information on the child and not less.  Can you imagine the frenzie that would be caused by 'softening' some of the experiences a child has had?  I feel to care for a child to the best of my ability means I have to understanding everything that they have been through.  

Another part of the article that I didn't agree with is the idea to 'fire' all social workers and start all over again.  Whilst we haven't always had the easiest relationship with our SW,  I don't envy her, their department is hugely understaffed and I really don't think they have an easy job, seeing and dealing with some terrible situations, I know I couldn't do it.  There may be some that are incompetent but a lot of the time they are probably doing the best they can.  

Maccer x


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## Cornflower (Jun 5, 2011)

Yes, there's some frankly bonkers stuff in there, the bit about it being a good idea to withhold info about the child probably the most silly. But I think naming issue does touch a nerve - I like to think I'd be able to see the child within and all that, but honestly don't know how happy I'd be about calling out 'Chardonnay' in a packed shopping centre. 

I'm intrigued that the writer says she sits on approval panel and yet seems to hold such hardline views...although of course this could well have been artfully edited by the Mail.


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## Dame Edna (May 17, 2007)

I prefer a Pinot Grigio to a Chardonnay  

Sorry, I couldn't resist   

X


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

i agree cornflower..if this person represents the quality of  people on panels then we're all going to hell in a basket  
the article is load of old  i know several people who hjave changed or 'tweaked' their childs name..sometimes at the encouragement of SS...its definitely discouraged where possible, but it is allowed to happen..  i think if the parents who choose to do so for no good reason go on to adopt again they would probably be cross questioned about their motives. 

kj x


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## Little Miss Giggles (Apr 1, 2009)

We were told by an LA at an initial meeting recently that amongst a whole list of other things they did not allow name changes. I didn't realise they could enforce it though as just assumed you could do what you wanted once the adoption order had gone through.


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## Dame Edna (May 17, 2007)

Hi there

Once the adoption order goes through, you can change the child's name.  However, if it is a name you told the SW's you would keep, they may not wish to work with you again should you wish to adopt again.....

This article has been discussed on the adoption uk boards and I do agree with one poster who said that 'most' names can be shortened or adapted to give a reasonable name.  If the child wants to change his/her name come 18 years then it's up to them.  If you really can't live with a name then perhaps the child may not be for you .....    

There are bigger issues but I absolutely do understand that the 'name' is important       

Xx


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

Every time I think that the DM can't get any worse it prints an article like this! In fact, I would much rather read the Sun than this pile of absolute twaddle!

I have a "chavvy" name - but never has anyone ever suggested that I am from a scummy underclass family! It didn't stop me doing well at school, getting a degree from one of the best uni's in the country, or becoming an area manager for a blue chip aged 23 (oh, and my mum is a cleaner and my dad a factory worker, a very working class family).

I'm also disgusted that the the writer has suggested adopters turn down children because of their names, and then suggests this is because all children in the care system are from the "underclass" and all adopters are snobby middle class people expecting the "perfect" child. As with most DM articles it's purely written to provoke a reaction and appear controversial.

I think this is one of those situations when you just have to ignore them (and pray that the idiot writer isn't on our adoption panels!) x


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## Dame Edna (May 17, 2007)

That was a fantastic post Cloudy.  I enjoyed reading it, thanks for sharing  

Good for you  
X


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## skyblu (Sep 9, 2010)

Couldn't agree more Cloudy, well said. 

Again thanks for sharing

Skyblu.xx


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

Thank you Dame Enda and Sykblu - I worried after I posted that I sounded like I had a right big head, all "look at me, I'm so great even though I have a stupid name" when that's not like me at all! It's just something that really grates on my nerves!  

I should add that after dropping out of the rat race and moving to work in supported housing I have service users with substance misuse issues that all have "normal" names, I think sometimes when a person has a more unusual ("chavvy" sounding) name they feel like they have to work hard to go against the stereotyping.

I'm sure all people who go through all that hard work to be approved would accept any child that was right for them, regardless of if they are called Bob, Bobbin, or Booby!x


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