# Newbie



## michelle39 (Jun 6, 2008)

Hello Ladies,

Well I am finally plucking up the courage to introduce myself. I joined a couple of weeks ago and have joined in the chats a few times..everyone has been so kind and it has been lovely to chat about everything or general chat. 

I'm Michelle 33,married to DH 37 for 7years. We met on a blind date and were engaged while on holiday 8months later. We we both drunk  

In 2001 we were married and straight away started trying for a baby....nothing happened and both said we would wait till we had been trying for a year before going to the docs. In the meantime I had been having terrible stomach pains and was dismissed by my doctor who said if I came back again he would investigate it(this was my 4time in as many months). Just before the year was out I had been up in the night with the most horrendous stomach pains. In the morning I struggled to go to work but got there and told them I would have too leave later on for a doctors appointment. Sitting in the waiting room I knew something was wrong and when examined by a doctor was told he thought it was an ectopic pregnancy. Anyway it turned out that while I was in hospital they discovered that it was actually a burst cyst and I had severe endometriosis.

After being referred to a gynie I was put on numerous treatments and told I would be pregnant within the year. What a joke that was!! But feeling positive we went away and tried but again nothing!! When we went back to the gynie he then said Ivf was then our only chance so we were put on a waiting list. In the mean time I suffered from depression because I couldn't come to terms with my infertility. DH was and always is a rock through it all but please don't tell him I said that as he will get a very big head. After being on the waiting list for 18months we decided to have a go private because we were both so desperate for our little baby. The luckiest thing that has ever happened to us did - we got pregnant 1st time. We we both over the moon.

Those 9 months were the longest and most troublesome I have ever known. At 6weeks they suspected and ectopic again but after a scan gave us the all clear. So at that point we both decided I should quit my job and just concentrate on looking after me and peanut as we had waited 4long years already and didn't want to chance things. At 16weeks I started to bleed and was admitted to hospital and told by a woman gynie...after she had examined me and then covered the whole bed with blood. 'You have lost your baby' and she left never to be seen again. I had to wait a whole night on my own for a scan the next day to confirm that our peanut had passed away. All I remember thinking was 'I know he's still alive'. I just couldn't believe life could be so cruel.  Ha! What did I know? As it turned out when we had the scan he was still there kicking and squirming away. DH and I were ecstatic. Then at 23weeks I was again admitted because they and I thought I'd gone into labour but as it turned out I had major problems with my bowel and needed an operation. They were worried peanut would want to come out while I was having the op so left me till 24wks and then said it was getting serious and it had to go ahead. Our little one was as it turned out too comfy and stayed put thankgod. For the rest of my pregnancy I recovered and was told to rest. At 39wks I gave birth to our little miracle Charlie 7lb 1oz. The most beautiful baby ever. 

When charlie was one the endometriosis got alot worse and got to the point where I couldn't look after him and was in constant pain. After going back to my gynie it was discovered I had a cyst of 10cm. He advised us that I should have a hysterectomy as things wouldn't get any better and pregnancy was dangerous for me and any baby. After much thought and soul searching we decided to have the op. I wasn't able to be a mummy to charlie while I was in constant pain and he comes first in every decision. This was done in sept 07. I can honestly say it's one of the best but hardest things that I've ever done. Charlie has his mummy back.

This brings us to now...surrogacy. Here we are waiting for an angel to pick us to have another little miracle. We would really like another baby and Charlie would like a brother or sister like all his friends. Even though he is the most understanding child I know. We told him all the way though the op. He knows mummy had bad eggs and the doctors needed to take them out to make me better. But he does ask why I can't get new ones. Breaks my heart everytime. Life is so unfair sometime.

I know we are very lucky to have charlie as I know some people don't even get that but sometimes I think the longing for a brother or sister for him is worse than when we didn't have him. If that makes sense.

Anyway I think I have waffled for long enough........Thankyou if you got this far!
I hope to get to know you allx

Michelle


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## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

Michelle 

Welcome to the surrogacy boards 

What an amazing journey you have had, and thankfully with a happy ending, with you having Charlie 

I hope you soon find your angel, and you will make your family complete  

Good Luck !!!

love Jo
x x x


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## michelle39 (Jun 6, 2008)

Hi Jo and Jess,

Thank you both for your replies.  

Yes we are members of COTS and are thinking of joining 'A Little Wish'. Does anyone have any experience of the later one?

Michellex


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## Amandajb (Sep 6, 2007)

Hi Michelle!

A Little Wish is a great site dedicated to helping infertile couples, with a special emphasis on surrogacy.  It was set up, I think, by a lady called Michelle Hickman, who sometimes posts on here.  I feel sure that as soon as she sees this she will be tapping away getting a reply typed!

Its an excellent site giving IPs and surrogates real support and its certainly an avenue I would recommend.  However, there are other sites which will offer the same sort of support.  There is Miracles Do Happen for example, and this is another site I would recommend because, as well as being free, it does support you and allow you to support others.

I would certainly recommend both of the above sites.  In my opinion they are certainly worth looking at.


Hope that helps.

Good Luck


Amanda


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## michelle39 (Jun 6, 2008)

Thanks everyone for your lovely replys.

I am overwhelmed with the support I have recieved on this website.  Wished I had found it ages ago.

Michelle-We are going to the 'Little wish get together'. We're both looking forward to it.

Michellex


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## michelle39 (Jun 6, 2008)

Michelle,

Thank you for a lovely day on Saturday. Everyone was very supportative and we feel we have made new friends.

It's lovely to be a part of a growing community. 

Michellex


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## nikkis (May 29, 2006)

Im so pleased to have found this..until now I only knew about COTS but Im about to look at A Little wish and Miracles do happen after Ive made myslef a nice cuppa
We are at the early stages of deciding about surrogacy and the more info, the better
Nikki


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## michelle39 (Jun 6, 2008)

Did you manage to look at any?


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## nikkis (May 29, 2006)

oh thanks girls..Ive looked and looked and feel Im going around in circles
really want someone to decide for me!!!
Alternatively it would be nice if an angel turned up in the garden and said "here I am, Ill have a baby for you" (not likely!)
Nikki x


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