# Unhappy with midwife, what can I do?



## suzia (Dec 2, 2008)

Sorry this is more of a technical question than about the pregnancy itself.  I had my first meeting with my midwife last Thursday and had a very upsetting experience.  I just want to know if I am over-reacting and she really did a good job; or she was not as compitatent as she be.

To be fair she was friendly, but she seemed a bit annoyed by having to do my appointment.  She was disappointed that I had not filled in  my maternity notes form before I came in, but the nursing assistant I met told me she would fill it in with me and go over my history so not to worry about it, just take it with me.  So I did.

I felt that she thought my DH and I were moochers off the system, as I am American and she thinks that my DH is Russian, (which he is not, our surname is Russian, but he is English and his family has been here for many many generations).  She insisted that he was Russian, no matter how many times I told her he wasn't. We work hard and pay our taxes, both of us. She went over the things on my form that I ticked yes, such as diabetes and heart disease.  Then she handed me a bunch of leaflets and made a copy of my notes and that was that.

May I add, she was on her phone almost the entire meeting, at first I thought the phone calls must be emergencies, but as I listened they were phone calls that could have been answered and made after I left.  She did not ask me if I had any questions, I just asked them before I left, she didn't weigh me, just asked me what I weighed,.

The thing I am most upset about, is that I found out after I got home that she should have gone over all of the scans, tests, and screening that were available to me.  WE really want to have the nuchal scan and as I am almost 9 weeks I am afraid it won't be booked in time for me to get it.  I am not even sure how long it will be until I get my dating scan.

I tried to call the community office today about the scan, they pushed me off the the scanning department, who in turn told me that my midwofe should have discussed this all with me and that I should speak to her again. 

I am sorry for the long-winded info about all of this, what I really want to know is what do I do if my midwife is not very good to me, I don't want to rock the boat and then make the whole process worse.  Because if I am overracting she could make things worse for me all along.  I am just a scared newly pregnant woman who wants everything to go well.

Thanks for your time and any info you can help with, I just don't know who to go to ask these questions.

Suzia


----------



## emilycaitlin (Mar 7, 2006)

Hi,

you need to feel comfortable with your midwife, so I would ring your hospital and ask to be put through to the supervisor of midwives on call and explain how you feel. They won't judge you or think anything of you, and they can arrange for you to see
someone else,

emilycaitlin xx


----------



## suzia (Dec 2, 2008)

Thanks emily, After a discussion with DH, we are going to give her one more go and DH will be with me this time to see if I was just being hormonal and overreacting.  If it is the same after this next appointment then we will contact the supervisor.  Thanks again.

Suzia


----------

