# Family Reactions



## EML (Jul 25, 2005)

Dear Girls
Well, we've just come back from visiting my family in Ireland and, as we are so close to completing the approval process, we told all of my cousins about our hopes to adopt. I don't know what I expected (all of them have families of their own now and most of them don't know of our TX problems), but their reaction was wonderful. I'm not sure about you...but sometimes through this 'journey' 1% of me wonders if we are doing the right thing...but their response to our announcement was lovely. The overall reaction was "if you're hoping to adopt two (we're hoping for siblings), you'll be needing lots of godparents...can I volunteer?" Their immediate welcome for these unknown and at present 'fantasy' children to my (quite large already) family was so warm that we can't wait to go back there one day with our new family.
We've warned them that it could take some time (we are in limbo at the moment... a hairs-width away from the approval panel, but our lack of 'childcare experience' is holding us up – hopefully we'll have overcome this by the end of the summer with our offers of help with the local Beaver group...a top tip from one of you lovely ladies), but they are excited at the prospect of our new additions.
All of this has helped me realise that this IS what I really want.
Sorry to be a bit me..me, but I just had to tell this to someone who understands.
Love to all of you...and good luck to everyone.
EML


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## suffolklady77 (Aug 2, 2005)

hiya enjoy beavers I'm cubs but the beavers are much more cute 
-Gayle x


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

great news EML, it's so nice having loads of support behind you hun 

pam xx


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## twinkles (Jan 31, 2005)

Hi EML

we are sort of in the same boat as you as we are irish too and have just adopted 2 siblings, we were over in Ireland with them the other week introducing them to our families and it was lovely, even though they have been with us a while it was the first time they met most of our extended family.  it was lovely to walk through the village & meet friends & neighbours & introduce them & everyone was soo happy for us  .  

I have been amazed at the amount of people who droped in gifts for the kids - you know how it is in ireland everyone knows everyone & even people who mum & dad knew from being out 'walking the dog' droped them in 'congratulations your a grandparent' cards.

we had great help from our soical worker in how we were going to introduce the kids to everyone though so it wouldnt be too over welming for them - cause you know how it can get with irish families when there is something to celebrate, everyone turns up at once!!  our families came over to the UK to meet them first a couple of times for a day or two at a time & then when we went home we arranged times for people to come so it wasn't everyone at once sort of thing.  everyone was very good at not staying too long when they called as we had briefed them beforehand on stuff like one of the kids is afraid of noisy toys so no-one brought them anything loud so it went great.

feel free if you want to pm me for more info - best of luck over the next while i'll keep everything crossed for you.

twinkles


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi Eml,

I'm irish too and know what you mean about them being supportive. It was great bringing Boo home the first time. My mam died a few years ago, so i didn't think my dad would be one to go on about it to the neighbours, but they all knew and had dropped in cards and pressies.

i also just got boo's irish passport through in the post this week....it was lovely to have him considered irish. not sure my DH understood why it was so important to me, but it was?! It was a bit of a faff though....lots more paperwork than just getting him a british one! Let me know if you want to know whats involved.

xxruthie


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi EML

Glad to hear that you have got the support of your family, always useful when you need some respite!!

Good luck for the remainder of your journey

KAren x


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## EML (Jul 25, 2005)

Dear Girls
Thanks for all of your replies...
Gayle: are cubs just boys? Beavers were suggested to us because there is a mix.
Pam: I'm lucky to have their support, but many of them a so far away. We'll have to spend 'quality time' with them instead.
Twinkles: I agree with you about Irish families! I might just take up your offer of advice... I hadn't really thought about HOW we were going to introduce them, we see them so little of our Irish relatives (once a year on holiday), but I agree that they do tend to smother you (in the nicest possible way!)
Ruthie: I hadn't thought about passports either. I'm proud of my Irish passport, but my DH has a British one and admit the paperwork (and cost) seems far less.
Karen: Yes, I'm lucky to have a large family (27 cousins at the last count). Thanks for your comments.
Thanks again for all of your replies...I suppose all of this family 'stuff' just made me impatient and I felt I had to share my excitement for things to come with people who understand these small milestones.
Love to all
Elaine


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## suffolklady77 (Aug 2, 2005)

hiya 
all sections are mixed and should be open to boys and girls some groups only have boys just because they havent had any through the door or the local population hasnt cottoned on to the fact that you can have girls, my cub group has 4 one with special needs and they show the boys up a treat 
-Gayle


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## Angelbabywood (May 11, 2005)

Hi there hope you don't mind me jumping in.

Was really nice to hear all of your family reactions brought tears to my eyes.  My MIL doesn't seem happy at all and I want to speak to her about it but fear of upsetting her.

Also, we're at the stage where we need to get more experience so considering join a group.  How do we go about joining cubs, brownies etc.  Do we tell them we are looking for experience of children and that's why we're joining?

Thanks Kerry xx


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## EML (Jul 25, 2005)

Dear Girls
Kerry: Thanks for your comments. I have the MIL from hell (Hyacinth Bouquet personnified!), and her first reaction to us wanting to adopt was quite cold, and her only comment was 'aren't you too old?', but once the idea sank in, she can't wait to be a grandmother... she has offered to help out in every way she can. Did your MIL know about your problems TX? Mine did, but she still reacted in an off-hand manner. It may be that it has all been a bit of a shock? My DHs family had a bad experience with adoption many, many years ago. As for joining the groups, I emailed our local scout group and told them we wanted experience...and why. I wanted to be honest... I've told them that we don't have huge amounts of time at the moment, but that we could help our in any way we can. By doing this they will be understanding if when we (hopefully) get our new additions, we may not have the same commitment. I've found people's reactions very welcoming.
Gayle: Thanks for the info, I didn't know about the girl cubs... that'll give us a bit more scope.
Love to all
Elaine


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## suffolklady77 (Aug 2, 2005)

hiya angel yes its best to be honest say you want to help out for a while to gain better experiance us leaders are all human (pinches herself to make sure) they will understand! 
-Gayle x


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