# Feeling so incredibly depressed!! 😣



## Kolbm (Jun 15, 2014)

Feeling so lonely at the moment I've only just started with the fertility treatment with having my initial bloods taken yesterday and I'm booked in for my ultrasound on Thursday. I turn 32 this year and I feel so incomplete my husband is putting on a brave face and is being very matter a fact about the whole process he keeps telling me that I'm more then enough which is sweet but it's how I feel about the whole situation. I want a baby more then anything and it just feels like everyone around me is falling pregnant left right and centre.  I have appointments coming out from every direction and I'm scared about everything.  

I hope and pray that all my test results give me some indication on what's going on my initial hormone blood test showed that I had plenty of eggs and I was ovulating  and my husband has a good count of sperm but I just don't understand why I'm not falling pregnant.  My hormone test did show signs of stress which was understandable considering I can't help but stress about this situation.  

I know the next few months is gonna be hard and will really test my relationship  I hope I am strong enough to get through everything and pray I get some good news and blessed soon.  

Sorry if it's something you've all heard before just grateful I'm able to tell people that are going the through the same stuff as me xxx


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## Doris83 (Jan 28, 2012)

Kolbm so sorry to read this and that you are in this situation - You are definitely in the right place for support throughout this process. 

Your feelings are completely normal, we all feel like this at times (or even all of the time). Infertility and TTC can be a long and isolating journey, especially if you are surrounded with friends and family falling pregnant very easily. 

You will be strong enough, its amazing what you can put yourself through when following your dream, and in terms of your relationship then yes it can be a strain but my one piece of advice is to make sure you keep talking about everything, don't keep it bottled up and more than likely it will bring you closer together. 

Can I ask how long you have been TTC?

X


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## Kolbm (Jun 15, 2014)

Hello Doris83 thank you for your message we've been TTC for nearly 2 1/2 years now unsuccessful never had a scare  either so it's been heartbreaking. Every month  it's just a big fat disappointment  and it's hard to explain to people what your going through especially as most of my friends and family already have children and the last thing you wanna hear from them is that it'll happen  and you need to relax. Easier said then done I say!  

Is there anything I can be doing that can help in the mean time while I wait for tests and results? 

Thank you again for your reply just grateful that I'm not alone in all this xxx


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## Doris83 (Jan 28, 2012)

You are definitely not alone, I have found this site invaluable as like you my friends and family cannot comprehend the overwhelming sadness that comes with TTC. 

I found that really focussing on getting as healthy as possible, stopping smoking, cutting down on drinking, taking supplements etc helped me feel like I'm taking back some control over a situation that is really out of my hands. That way when you get to treatment you know you have done everything you possibly can to get your body ready and improve your chances. I also stopped thinking of sex as a means to get pregnant, to me now sex and babies are not related, sex is for fun and IVF is for babies, it really helped keep relationship get back on track. And you never know, you may get a spontaneous BFP in the meantime!! 

I wish you every success in your journey. Xx


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

the good news is, you're ovulating, you have sperm, and you're doing something about the problem now and not waiting another 5 years.... there are loads of things that could be the explanation but most of them are treatable which puts you in with a great chance. good luck i hope you get your dreams soon.


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

to FF, Kolbm!!!

As Doris said your feelings are totally normal, I think most of us have felt something similar, I know I have. I have lost a few friends because they didn´t understand why I couldnt spend much time with them while they were pregnant, they took it personally. Also I remember leaving Ikea in tears because everyone in there was pregnant. It does eat away at you, and unless you have been through it, you can´t really understand how it takes over your whole life. There is a "Coping With Infertility" section ~ CLICK HERE that might help. You might be (like me) diagnosed as unexplained infertility which basically they don´t have a clue why it isn´t working!

Here are a few links that I think might help you.

Trying To Conceive Naturally with Fertility / Health Issues" ~  CLICK HERE

Complementary and Holistic Approaches - CLICK HERE

Regional ~ CLICK HERE

Diagnosis ~ CLICK HERE

What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~   CLICK HERE

Chat Zone section which will give you info on upcoming chats in the chat room: CLICK HERE

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it.

Good luck!         

Sue


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## Kolbm (Jun 15, 2014)

My day is here for HSG and I'm feeling sooo emotional I'm worried I'm gonna be left waiting forever for my results cried a lot last night thinking it might show up the worst I'm trying so hard to stay positive but I feel sad I keep asking why and there really isn't any answers, feeling very lonely at the moment.


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## LuluLimon (Jan 17, 2014)

Kolbm- firstly the Hcg made me nervous. The outcome can only be positive: if its clear, great; if not, there is sth to diagnose.
Relaxing & being positive that something will happen during treatment helped me to keep going in the dark days - I also took antidepressants. They are a way of getting through & regaining some balance if it is just too much. 

There is a good likelihood that treatment will work and as mother's have said the fact that you have eggs, ovulate & have sperm is great. It is probably just that our type of diagnosis hasn't been discovered or is widely known yet. Diet, Supplements & relaxation methods are things you can do to get some control.

Good luck for today x


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

i was kept waiting ages for hsg results .... don't stand for it, get as much info on the day as you can and phone, email, harrass the nhs until they get you the results officially quickly. kept me waiting ages and then just said everything was fine, i was unexplained, and they would do nothing. i was too scared of a bad result to chase it up but i wish i had- good luck.


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## Kolbm (Jun 15, 2014)

Hi everyone HSG went fine and everything was fine the dye ran through both tubes so no blockages and the radiologist said everything looked exactly how it should so looks like I'm heading towards unexplained infertility. She said that cos I have an appointment booked in for October I should ring back in two weeks and see if there is a cancelation to get an earlier appointment and that's when consultant will discuss what happens next. I hope it's as simple as putting us in the ivf list so we're not waiting much longer. Is there any other treatments they offer you if you're unexplained?? 

Thank you all for kind messages lots of luck to those TTC xxx


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## karenanna (Dec 27, 2008)

Kolbm

It may be worth checking out Angelbumps fertility protocol - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=226042.0

KA xxx


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

Kolbm said:


> I hope it's as simple as putting us in the ivf list so we're not waiting much longer. Is there any other treatments they offer you if you're unexplained??


We have been marked down as unexplained. They decided to put us on a IUI cycle "to see what happens". I suppose it is cheaper and they just wanted to see how I responded, to see if anything popped up! In the end I did 5 IUI's before we switched to IVF and it worked first time!

Sue


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## Kolbm (Jun 15, 2014)

Oh sue I love hearing miracle stories like that I hope my dream comes true and it all works at first go. Thank you all for you kind words it's gotta try and learn to relax and not think about it so much.


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