# On Progynova for FET & heavy bleeding



## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Hi ladies

Wondered if anyone could help me. I'm on day 11 of my 1st FET, I've been taking Progynova 6mg. Still bleeding since day 1....it did start to settle alittle but the last few days have been really heavy. I have my first lining scan tomorrow. I've called the clinic to let them know and the nurse seemed really surprised, she went to talk to the Dr who said to come tomorrow for the scan as planned and take it from there. Not feeling very hopeful at all and think they will cancel the cycle   Has this happened to anyone else?

Thanks
Mrs M xxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Hi.  I'm also on my first fet and didn't want to read and run. It's so hard to be on this journey and wanted to send a hug your way.    
I have no experience to help with advice but I really hope your appointment goes ok tomorrow.
Nicky. X


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Thank you Nickyturns!

Well the scan showed my lining was 9.1!! (Despite all the heavy bleeding all week??!!) but it also looked like there was still abit more blood in my uterine cavity, so they were quite reluctant to proceed. Said they 'd not come across it before. So they've stopped my Progynova & I'm back for another scan on Monday. If the blood in the cavity has passed then I think I can start again ASAP. Not sure if this means the cycle is cancelled or not? But hubby won't be impressed if we get charged the £400 cancellation fee when they've not actually done anything. Thought FET was supposed to be simple  

When's your FET happening? Hope everything going smoothly for you  

xxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Hello again. 
Great news on the lining but bummer about the blood. Will keep my fingers crossed that Monday's scan gives some better answers and some good news. A bit confused, do you have to pay the clinic if your cycle is cancelled? 
I'm hoping my transfer will be the 29th may. I did provera for 5 days and buserelin injections for nearly 2 weeks waiting for a bleed. I went in for a scan tues and my lining was thin and a blood test confirmed that my hormone levels were low as wanted so I was told to start the hrt and that I prob wouldn't bleed, dates were given for transfer. Weds night my period arrived so I was in a total panic that it would all be cancelled. When I rang the clinic they weren't too bothered and told me to carry on. My cycles are usually a week longer anyway so I'm hoping the drugs make my body conform to the right timeline the clinic need. 
This is it for us, the last thing we will do to try for our second child so I'm gonna have all 3 embryos put back if they all thaw ok. So,so excited but so terrified at the same time. 
Massive amounts of luck and fairy dust being sent your way ready for Monday.


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Hi again
Yes we have to pay £400 cancellation fee if the cycle is cancelled, even though all they've done is x1 scan so far - I bought my drugs separately last month. It's really frustrating as we'd saved up the exact amount for a FET and now might be short   Although hubby will definitely fight it. As far as I'm concerned it's not a new cycle as I've not stopped bleeding since day 1. 
When is your next scan booked for? Really hope your lining has thickened   Is the clinic ok with you transferring x3 embies? I want to transfer x2 but the clinic have strongly advised against it and even made me feel like I'd be being irresponsible to have 2. 
I just want this month to go quickly - I bet you're the same?!

xxxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Evening. 
My next scan and blood test is thurs 28th may in preparation for embryo transfer the day after. I had 2 blastocysts, one hatching, put back on my first fresh cycle and had 3 day 3 embryos frozen. I started bleeding 5 days before test day last time so knew it hadn't worked. I turned 40 in March and my clinic allow you to have up to 3 day 3's after the age of 40. I guess it's because they know that eggs diminish in quality as we age so the likely hood of all 3 of those eggs being good are slim. If I took the embryos to day 5 and all 3 were good then I would only be allowed a maximum of 2 to be returned. 
We have been on this infertility roller coaster for 12 years now and had to draw a line under it somewhere. 40 was our cutoff point and we were only going to do 1 ivf and not freeze anything. However, on the day of egg collection I had 14 eggs collected and there were 2 other women in the recovery room with me. One had only 2 eggs retrieved and the other had 4. I felt awful and so blessed at the same time that I could not just waste the extra embryos so we chose to keep any extra worth freezing. 10 eggs fertilised overnight, 3 day 3's were frozen, 3 were taken to day 5 of which I had 2 back the 3rd day 5 didn't do anymore and several others perished along the way.
We do not have the funds or the energy to do anymore and realise how lucky, privileged and blessed we are to have our son. It's more than many on this journey get to achieve. I decided I didn't want to leave any behind and did not want to let them go to day 5's and be hyped up as last time. What will be will be and whatever the outcome, we will be prepared. I really don't think all 3 will develop as with all I've been thru it will be a huge miracle to just get 1 to work. I've had an endometrial scratch this time and will be having glue which is also different from last time. 
I read your other post regarding how many to have back. My advice, go with your gut and what feels right. It's your body and your life. You know what you can and cannot cope with. Yes there are risks with multiple pregnancies and births but there are for singletons too. I've had a total of 4 natural pregnancies. 1 ended as a mmc. At 12 weeks. 1 was my beautiful son but I suffered early bleeding. 2 ended in miscarriage at 8 weeks. My son was born naturally and was a wonderful birth. Several of my friends without fertility issues and perfect singleton pregnancies had horrific and dangerous births. No one has a crystal ball to dictate how things will turn out no matter what statistics say. If you want more than one put back then do it. Again, what will be, will be. 
It's your body. 
Good luck for tomorrow. Will be thinking of you. 
Xxxxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Hi Mrs. M.
How did the scan go today? Have everything crossed for you. Xx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Hi Nickyturns!

Thanks for thinking of me. I read your post from last night when I was sat in the clinic waiting room this morning. It was really lovely and made me feel certain that I was making the right decision asking for x2 embies. It sounds like you've been on quite a journey yourself. Infertility is so horribly cruel and unless you've been through it I don't think you can ever make someone understand how emotionally draining it is. I feel as though our lives have been on hold since we started our fertility treatment, never knowing whether you can plan the next holiday or big event. I honestly cannot imagine what it must be like to be a normal fertile person who gets pregnant naturally and everything goes smoothly. But I also know that this whole experience has made me so appreciative of my beautiful boy. 

Well despite further heavy bleeding over the weekend the scan showed my lining is still 9.4, with a lot of blood in my uterine cavity. They did my oestrogen levels which are low, so they think the thick lining is old and needs to go. So cycle cancelled   although they have let me start Provera today for x10 days & then start again with HRT on day 1...Feeling quite pessimistic as they haven't actually changed anything in the protocol - I took Provera last time (albeit upto day 21) so I'm abit scared that this could all happen again next month but will have to wait and see. So FET planned for mid June now instead.

As for how many embryos, well it did not go down well when I asked to be consented for x2. Nurse went to get the Doctor on call, who was very adamant that I was wrong - claiming that due to 'medical reasons' I could not have x2. When I asked what medical reasons she was referring to she said PCOS & that a twin pregnancy would increase my risk of gestational diabetes. She also said we are too young to consider more than one and that because I got pregnant first time with our fresh cycle that I basically hadnt been through enough to consider taking the risk of a multiple pregnancy. I really argued our case, reeled off my little speech and put across our case as well as questioning her completely OTT reasons for not wanting to me to have x2. In the end I told her that it was my decision and I had made an informed decision which she could not change. She then replied with "It is the Medical Directors decision, I will discuss this with her at the team meeting tomorrow but if she says no then you can always take your embryos elsewhere!" I was abit speechless at that really?! I didn't know that they could refuse??! I was made to feel as though I was doing something really dangerous, anyone would think I was asking for half a dozen embryos put back!! So I've got to wait for a phone call later this week to let me knows what they've decided. But On the way back from the clinic, hubby and I decided that we won't move our embryos, I don't want to risk them (not that I actually know what is involved.) So I'll have to go along with their decision  

Sorry for the essay! Hope you're having a good day! xxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Hi Mrs. M. 
What a terribly frustrating day for you and by all accounts, the attitude of the clinic Sounds terrible.   I understand that there are risks for multiple pregnancies but there are lots of risks in any pregnancy and to say you haven't been through enough is downright bloody rude.   They are your embryos after all. I don't know anything about moving embryos so can't help with any advice on that I'm afraid. I am very lucky with my clinic. The consultant was the one to mention I could use the 3 embryos after I turned 40 and we chatted a lot about the risks and my reasoning behind my choices. Once my birthday went by in March I started the process for the fet. I have had to deal with one nurse who's a bit of a jobs worth and gave me a bit of a hard time but, it's so very unlikely I'm going to have all 3 become babies. Anyway, 1 egg has the potential to become many so then what would happen? At your age compared to mine, I know who's prob the better for a multi pregnancy so it's crazy that it kind of works round the other way. if I get 1 or 3, we will deal with it as it happens. 
Stay strong and keep focused on your goal. I so agree with everything you say and know how you feel 100% I'm always putting our life on hold for ifs buts and maybes. 12 years later and although I'm more relaxed with it all, im still not planning too far ahead just in case! 
The most frustrating and infuriating thing for me is the fact I've fallen pregnant naturally 4 times. I have great egg reserve for my age, my hubby has damn super sperm but they can no longer get to each other and due to my high natural killer cells, my body terminated 2 pregnancies in the early stages. Mother Nature sure can be wicked at times. 
This time I'm just going with the flow and trying hard not to get too crazy with it all. There really is no more I can do, if I'm meant to have another baby then it will happen and if I'm not then so be it, I cannot do anymore and my focus has to be for my child already here so that is an immense help. When he's older and understands more I can hand on heart tell him I've tried everything. 
The day of fet we are off camping for the weekend. It means I def won't be able to lift the heavy stuff! Lol.
Never apologise for a long post, I can sure write a lot too. See above, ha!  
That's what's good about this site, support from peeps in the same boat. 
Stay positive Hun and keep pushing forward.  
Nicky. Xx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Hi Nickyturns

I've trying to distract myself and focus on something else the last few weeks, but just finished my course of Provera & expecting AF at weekend so FET constantly occupying my thoughts again!  

Anyway, I think it's today that you're at the clinic again so just thought I'd send a quick msg to say good luck & let me know how u get on!   

xxxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Hello. 
Fingers crossed your af shows soon and you can then start the next step. 
I did have my blood test yesterday which showed all was good to go ahead with embryo transfer. All 3 embryos survived the thaw and are now back on board the mummy ship. They boarded their home at 1pm this afternoon and we're all good 8cells. We picked up a new car en route to the clinic and have just left home to go camping for 2 nights with friends at corfe castle so I'm occupied for the weekend. Not quite sure how I'll keep busy the rest of the mental 2ww! I'm back to work mon but they all know what's been going on so will look after me.  Obviously I'll be taking it easy this weekend too so no tent putting up or taking down for me. Lol. 
Keep positive Hun, I have been thinking of you. Keep me posted. 
Nicky. Xx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Nickyturns that is brilliant news!!    
So pleased everything went smoothly & I hope those little embies are bedding in nicely. When is your OTD? Have a lovely weekend and take it very easy! xxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Thanks. 
I'm feeling very relaxed and stress free. We only stayed one night as rain is forecast and thought it would be a nightmare packing it all away in the wet. 
My otd is 12th June. Can't come quick enough! Lol. Xxx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Nickyturns, glad you're feeling relaxed, I hope that the 2ww is going quickly for you!!
I'm still waiting for AF!!!   it's been 8 days since I stopped Provera and nothing! Last month I was bleeding when I wasn't supposed to, and now I'm not bleeding when I'm supposed to!    
Keep me updated, will be thinking of u! xxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Hi mrs. M. 
Our bodies are so naughty aren't they. Never doing as they are supposed to when we need them to. I did not bleed after the provera either. I ended up 2weeks later, no bleed. My clinic did a scan and blood tests and deduced that although I hadn't had a bleed, the drugs had done their job. My womb lining was thin and my hormone levels were suppressed. The nurse did say she didn't think I'd have a bleed at all. I did have one though a few days after but the clinic were not worried so don't despair, there's still hope it will all go as it should do. Did your clinic advise you when to contact them if you hadn't had a bleed? 
I'm having a wee wobble today and my pma is slipping a little. No real symptoms and a bit crampy today hence the wobble. 7 days will have passed tomorrow so 7 left to go. 
Thank you for thinking of me and you are in my thoughts too. 
Good luck. Xxxx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Hi Nickyturns,
Only just picked up your message as we've been having internet problems (probably a good thing as it's prevented me from googling EVERYTHING fertility related  )
I hope you're feeling better and your pma has returned. Not long to go now, I keep thinking of you in the dreaded 2ww! Is it a home urine test or bloods at the clinic on your OTD?
AF finally arrived yesterday! So day 12 scan booked for next Thursday   Xxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Morning. 
Glad af finally arrived for you. 
My pma came back and I also started feeling quite sick so I poas on sun and got a bfp. Alas tho on Sunday morning I started bleeding, I still had a bfp on another pregnancy test but this morning I have more bleeding and its heavier and redder and this mornings test is virtually a bfn so it's failed for me I'm afraid. 
Totally gutted and fed up. This was it for us so no more trying. Now I just have to adjust to that fact and get on with life. 
I have my lovely son so that's a big help. 
I have my Fingers crossed for you that it all goes well. Keep me posted as I will be checking in to see how you get on. 
Nicky. Xxxx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Oh Nicky i'm so sorry to read this,   especially after a positive test at the weekend...life is so cruel sometimes. Hope you're both handling it ok. Like you say, you've got your DS to distract you. Big hugs xxxxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Hi Mrs. M. 
Just thought I'd update you. It seems I may have freaked out a bit yesterday. After talking to my clinic it may be that the blood I had may be from the cervix being irritated from the progesterone pessaries. They were pleased that I had a positive test and as I am having no cramping and no bleeding thru the day it could still all be ok. I have to keep going until test day and take it from there. After several early miscarriages I do freak at any sign of blood so I am now trying to be a bit calmer and just get thru each day. Easier said then done! Last night I didn't put the pessaries in as far as I had been and this morning no discharge of any colour.    
I shall keep meditating to try and stay a bit calmer and will let you know what happens on Friday. 
It's def good not to be able to google for a while as yesterday, Google got a total thrashing in our house!   
Xxx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Nicky that sounds really positive!! I will be keeping everything crossed for you very tightly. Are you still testing daily? Friday is not long now, hoping it comes around very quickly for you! Lmao at your google comment, you should see my google history    
xxxxxx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Thinking of you today Nicky & keeping everything crossed   Xxxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Hello  
Well today is official test day and it was a    spin   

[/size]So chuffed but also realistic in that there's a long way to go yet! I have a 6 week scan booked for 12 on the 26th June. Just praying the little pumpkin stays put and grows nicely now. It was bad enough trying to keep busy thru the 2 ww but the waiting has really only truly just begun.  
Hope you are well. Less than a week for you to go now.
Nicky.xx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Yeyyyyy Nicky that is fantastic news!! Sooooo thrilled for you!! 26th June will come around quickly I'm sure! Keep growing little one   Are you getting any symptoms? Try to enjoy, I loved being pregnant & hope so much that I get to go through it all again! 

Can't wait for my lining scan, no bleeding with the HRT so far  

Keep in touch!!


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Hi. 
Not long til your lining scan. How are you feeling? 
I'm tired and have moments of feeling sick. The worst thing is not sleeping! I'm so tired and going to bed early but then have such a restless night sleep, if I even get to sleep. Then most nights my 5 year old comes into our bed at some point. Still, I'll take every symptom going thanks then it makes me feel a bit more relaxed that everything is going as it should. Funny how we can't wait for the 2ww to tick by but then that's not the only wait. Lol. Can't wish away the next 2 weeks fast enough. Xx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Hi Nicky, how you feeling? Has it sunk in yet?! I hope you're getting loads of symptoms! Are you getting any more sleep?...your comment made me smile as our 2 year old comes into our bed every night and I usually wake up with his foot in my face lol. 
I don't know about you but I think this last week is dragging!!!! I have now convinced myself that my lining will be too thick on Thursday - I don't even know if there is such a thing as too thick?!!   I'm probably just being silly and driving myself crazy...Wish I could just switch off my brain sometimes! 
Oh and re: how any embies, the clinic have written to me and stated they will only allow x1 - but we're not going to fight it anymore, just praying that x1 is enough   xxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Evening. 
Lucas's only real pain in the bum issue is his sleep. He's always been the same. He won't go to bed on his own and although we've managed to get to a stage of not being in his room, we have to go in and out every few minutes to give him a kiss until he falls asleep. Usually he's asleep within 20 mins of going to bed but usually anywhere from 2.30am onwards he gets into our bed. He's asleep practically before his head hits the pillow between me and hubby and thankfully he doesn't wriggle. We both work full time so can't be bothered to keep taking him back to bed. Tbh I quite enjoy the cuddles but know it can't keep going on! Lol. He just wants the company. On holiday this year his bed was in the same room as ours and he slept soundly in it every night til morning. Unfortunately our bedroom isn't big enough to fit in his bed as well.   
I totally agree that this week is dragging. We always stress abouth the 2ww but really, the whole treatment is waiting for one thing after the other and then it's a whole 9 months of waiting if we are successful.  
I'm not feeling too bad today but still tired. Just had my hot chocolate and about to head to bed. I have such hot flushes thru the night I'm soaked by morning. It's ridiculous. Still, can't complain as its a symptom so yippee! 
I'm sure your lining is doing great. Keep thinking positive thoughts. I spent a lot of time and still am, listening to positive affirmations and meditations to do with pregnancy, conception and beyond. I just typed into YouTube and searched thru there. I'm a bit into complimentary therapies anyway so I found it useful. It helped keep my mind busy with good thoughts. 
It's a shame your clinic will only allow you to use 1 especially as they are yours. However, it only needs one to get your baby so just go with the flow and let the stress from that decision pass on now. I'm quite excited for you for Thursday and hopefully you will soon be in your 2ww. 
I'm certainly excited about my    but after several early miscarriages in the past I still can't quite accept its all ok. As each day passes it does get easier though. 
Right, I'm off to bed. Keep me posted about Thursday.    
Nicky. Xx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Good morning. 
Just popped on to wish you good luck for your lining scan today. Hope it all goes well and you get your transfer date. 
Nicky. Xxx🙏


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Hi Nicky, thanks for your lovely message this morning!
Well my lining is thick (very thick - it's 20!!!!) but the clinic have said it can't be too thick & that it's normal for me (I suffer with heavy HEAVY monster periods) and had a Hysteroscopy & biopsy in December which were normal so they weren't concerned...although of course I spent the whole journey home googling thick lining & success rates!   Hubby is being as laid back as ever of course, telling me to stop worrying!
So anyway, start Progesterone pessaries Sunday morning & FET booked for Friday 26th afternoon   
So Friday is a big day for us both!   It's nice to have someone to wait with! Hope you're feeling ok & relaxed? If only we could wake up a week infront tomorrow!!
Our little boy is a monkey at bedtime too   He goes to bed no problems at 7.30pm but seems to think that 5hours sleep is enough   He comes into our bed at 12 ish EVERY night, but wriggles, kicks, takes all the blanket...We have just upgraded our bed to a superking   As tiring as it is, I know it's not forever & I'm sure when he's a stroppy teenager I'll be longing for these days of sleepless nights back again...we also fully intend to get our revenge when he starts wanting lie ins! 
Anyway, I have a train track to build so better go! Speak soon xxxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Hi Mrs. M. 
Fab news on the womb lining. Nice and ready for your little emby to snuggle into.   
I'm doing ok. Resting lots and taking it easy at work. Quite tired by the evening still and symptoms are there one day, gone the next and back the following day. You make me giggle re Google. It's our friend and our fo. I'm always typing stuff in at the moment to find stuff out. 
I shall be thinking of u on Friday. My scan is at midday. What time is your et? I do wish I could just go to sleep until fri as these weeks have dragged longer than the 2ww. 
Happy pessarie popping for tomorrow!   
Nicky. Xxx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Hiya Nicky
Glad you're feeling well & taking it easy. I remember when I was pregnant that symptoms kept coming & going, I'd feel reassured one minute and then worried the next....it's good that you're having symptoms though! I imagine you're so excited & scared for the scan on Friday. Have u got a feeling about whether there might be more than one? Will you be scanned again at 8 weeks? 
We haven't been given a time for FET yet, I have to ring on Thursday to be given my theatre time - but it will be after 1pm.....they thaw in a morning & transfer in afternoon. I'm not nervous about the FET itself but worried about the thaw   
Hope you're having a lovely relaxing weekend xxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Hello. 
Just thought I'd pop on and see how you are doing? I've got a busy morning before the scan tom so won't get chance to wish you luck. Will keep fingers crossed that your little frosty survives it's thaw well and that the transfer goes smoothly. Will be thinking of you tomorrow and will check in in the evening to see how it went and also let you know how the scan went. Nothing happening here to suggest any probs so will see what tomorrow brings. 
Take care. 
Nicky. Xx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Hi Nicky,
Been thinking of you & was meaning to message today too! Sending you loads of luck for your scan tomorrow! I imagine you're a mixture of nerves & excitement. My transfer is booked for 2pm. Will keep you updated. Can't believe it's finally nearly here, then just more waiting for us both! xxxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Hi Mrs. m. 
Fingers crossed all has gone well and you are now pupo! Been thinking of you. 
Unfortunately I don't have good news. Despite the fact I've had constant, strong, positive hpt's and symptoms, there is nothing in my womb. Totally empty. Absolutely devastated and just can't believe I am having to go through this again. This felt so different to the last 2 failed pregnancies and I've felt so positive. They are now worried about ectopic so I've had bloods taken and have to wait for a call from the clinic later. I just can't function right now and don't want to even speak. Just numb. 
I really hope everything goes well for you and will be keeping everything crossed and praying for you. So sorry I couldn't bring happier news. Please keep me posted. 
Nicky. Xxxx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Oh Nicky I'm so so sorry   It seems so cruel & unfair that you've got this far. I felt so positive for you too. My heart feels so sad for you. Hope you & your hubby are both ok. Please let me know what the clinic say when they call you. I'll be thinking if you xxxxxx

The transfer went smoothly, the 1st Blast survived the thaw & is now back where it belongs   xxxxxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Yay, pupo lady. Good luck for your 2ww. So chuffed for you. 
The clinic called and my hcg levels are 2005 which is higher than they expected as they think the pregnancy failed early on. They expect it's falling so I have to continue all meds, pointless imo, and have another blood test on Tues. I could see straight away that there was nothing there on the scan so unless it's found some secret place in there it ain't possible.
I went thru this 2 years ago, twice! So fed up. Even up until yesterday, I was poas at all times of the day with wee like water and every time it came up a strong positive immediately. I just don't get it. 
Anyway enough misery from me. 
Concentrate on your lovely little bean growing big and strong and snuggling in nice and tight and get plenty of rest over the next 2 weeks. 
Nicky. Xxx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

It's so cruel that you're going through this for a 3rd time   How are you feeling now that you've had some time? 2005 seems really high, will they rescan on tues or just bloods? 
Hope you & hubby are both doing ok. Big huge hugs   Xxxxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Hi. 
No it's just bloods on Tues and I guess see from there. I've not got any pain or spotting so I guess they're not too concerned re an ectopic at this point. I do get the odd twinge and pulling here and there, mainly in the evening but it's nothing I would usually consider a problem if I hadn't had my scan. I guess the cyglogest is holding any bleeding at bay. 
Afm. I'm not good at all tbh. Just so numb. I know hubby is suffering to but I just don't want to speak to him or any one else who's been texting and phoning all day. Mad I know as I have a lot of support and people that care. This news is just the 'straw that broke the camels back' as the saying goes. So I'm currently very upset and angry about a lot of things from my life. Too much life history to bore you with but its left me questioning a lot about my life and beliefs right now so my mind is in a bit of a spin. It'll sort itself out eventually just think it will take a wee bit longer to dust off and carry on as normal this time. Thanks for thinking of me. 
You are now almost at the end of day 1 of the 2ww. Hope you are getting to rest as much as you can these first few days. This infertility journey has so much waiting attached to it! Have everything crossed for you that this is the one for you. Stick little frostie, stick. Xxxxxx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Oh Nicky my heart just breaks for you. I wish there was something I could do. It's such a horrible thing to happen. Everyone copes differently so don't feel guilty about not wanting to speak to people, you need to deal with it in your own way. Big hugs, keep me posted & I will be thinking of you xxx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Hi hun, how did it go today? Hope you got some answers xxx How are you feeling? xxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Hi mrs. M. 
Bloods showed an increase to 3000 so it has gone up but not as much as th clinic would like so they don't think it's a viable pregnancy and have told me to stop all meds. I'm booked in for another scan and bloods tomorrow as they are concerned re ectopic. This morning I feel awful again with morning sickness symptoms and dizziness. Rang the clinic but as I'm not in any pain and no bleeding they are happy to wait til tomorrow to see me unless symptoms change in which case to call again. Such a long drawn out process that will no doubt go on for a few weeks yet until it's resolved. Feeling pretty up and down ATM. Our lives with Lucas are amazing and there's so much we can do for him as an only child so I know we will be ok it's just going to take time to grieve for the larger family I always wanted. Being 40 and spending quite a bit of money on treatment these last 3 years does mean it's totally the end of the road. Someone at work did the classic " well maybe once you give up and relax it will just happen!!" I replied that seeing as the only tube I had was totally knackered, no amount of relaxing is going to make a difference! Some people are just so clueless. 

Anyway, enough moaning from me. How are you feeling? Nearly the end of your first week. Are you managing to keep yourself busy and your mind on other things? I've been thinking of you and fingers are crossed that it's all going well. 
Xxxxxx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Oh my gosh Nicky what a rollercoaster! I can't imagine what you're going through. It really is so cruel, especially as you're still getting symptoms   I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and please keep me updated.

It must be so difficult knowing when to stop completely with treatment, I suppose there's always that last bit of hope. We decided a while back that once we've used up our frosties then that's it for us, no fresh cycle and just accept what we've got which i'm eternally grateful for....but I imagine this must be much easier said than done. Like you, it's not the life I had planned & coming to terms with that will take a lot of time.
As for the 'relax' comment, I hate those soooo much!! I know people are just trying to be nice but it's a ridiculous thing to say and i'd rather they didn't say anything at all than say that!

AFM I'm feeling ok, nervous about the result. I don't have any symptoms at all, I had decided to test 9dpt - which is Sunday, but the closer Sunday gets the more i'm backing out - i'm not ready for it to be over yet (if it's failed I mean.) I'll see what the next few days bring xxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Hello. 
The scan this morning concluded that I have not got an ectopic and 2 small cyst type structures could be seen in my womb but they are def empty and very tiny so if these were anything then they ended very early on. I'm just relieved that I don't have an ectopic and I now just have to wait for nature to take its course. So annoying as this is the 2nd time it might have been twins starting but not going anywhere. I went on my own but when I spoke to hubby he was like "what do we do now?" I was what do you mean? We'd decided that this was it as he didn't want to carry on trying past 40. So we shall see what lies a head. I think the fact we had a positive result at the beginning made him realise how much he actually does want a second child as he's always been happy with just 1. Who knows?! 
I tested on 9dpt and got a very faint positive. I'd had a dream the night before that I was pregnant which is why I tested early. If you do it though and it's neg don't take that as the end. With another of my failed pregnancies, I didn't test positive until several days after my period was due yet I'd been feeling ill and been testing every couple of days for a week, knowing I was preg but just not showing on the stick. 
Fingers crossed for you Hun.  
Take care and keep me posted. Xxxxx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Hi Nicky. Hope you're doing ok. I'm pleased that you got some answers, but sad that it wasn't miracle news   Have you stopped all meds now? Do the clinic need to see you again?
Knowing when to stop treatment altogether must be so difficult, but you don't have to decide yet, see what time brings  

I have had no symptoms at all, I just feel normal....I think the cycle has failed but I don't know if I can bare to face it, so not quite sure when i'll test but will keep you updated...

Take care and speak soon   xxx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Hi Nicky, hope you're ok?

What a difference a day can make...yesterday I was suddenly hit with loads of symptoms, so I tested this morning & it's a BFP!!! Feel over the moon, excited, lucky, nervous & scared. I know it's early days and praying for a smooth journey.

How have you been the last few days? Any more news?
Been thinking of you   Xxxxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Woohoo!!! Yay, congratulations that's fantastic news. So, so pleased for you. Fingers crossed it continues smoothly for you. Keep me posted. 
I started bleeding today so it's all coming to an end. I'm totally exhausted and still feel a bit numb about it all really. However, I do know that I don't want to put myself thru anymore treatment or heartache for myself. I'm always going to be devastated that I only have my gorgeous son, who I adore! But crap happens and I've just got to learn to deal with that. I have an appointment booked in August to see a local homeopath that a friend of mine recommended. I think after everything my bodies been thru and all the drugs I've given it, I would like it put back into a natural balance. 
Really excited for you. Take care. Xxxxxxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

How are you feeling Hun? Xxx


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## Mrs.M (Mar 5, 2012)

Hiya hun, I'm good thank you - backache and sore boobs, occasional nausea but it's all good   Scan booked for Thursday 30th July which is 3 weeks away, I hope it goes quickly and smoothly  

How are you feeling? I can't imagine what you're going through. Hope you & your partner are coping ok. I'm sure your gorgeous boy is a good distraction. I hope the bleeding and symptoms are settling. I think if I was in your situation I would decide no to more treatment also, but it must be so difficult to reach a final decision.  The homeopath is a good idea. I often wonder about what damage the constant drugs might have done to my body....if only it functioned as it was supposed to.

Keep in touch,thinking of you   Xxx


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## nickyturns (May 8, 2007)

Good morning. 
Just wanted to see how you are doing/feeling? 
My miscarriage was all done with in a week so life is slowly getting back to normal. My hubby has even been researching and talking about looking into adoption which totally took me by surprise. He's always been against it but really doesn't want our son to be an only child. It was heartbreaking yesterday as we were down the beach. Ds tried several times to make friends with children playing on their own and in a group and was rejected every time. He's such a gentle, confident soul and its so upsetting for him. We will at least look into it but my priority has to be him and I appreciate that adoptive children can take time to settle and cause a bit of upset along the way so we shall see. 
Hope your pregnancy is ticking along nicely. 
Have been thinking of you. 
Nicky. 
Xx


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