# New to all this, just about to start IVF PGD



## cfb107 (Jan 24, 2012)

Hi all,

I was diagnosed with a balanced translocation at age 8. At age 21 I found out what this meant and as a result of this had a fairly major breakdown.

I am now 27, married, and we are about to start PGD (very provisionally ET would be late November). My husband is very scientific and dead against trying naturally, so this was always going to be our first port of call. I also have very severe PCOS (3 periods in the last year) so I don't think our chances would be good naturally with the two conditions combined!

I am very nervous about starting treatment due to my mental health history and how difficult IVF seems to be emotionally. It is so hard thinking it is all out of our hands.

I am a Christian and as we get closer and closer to treatment I am finding it harder and harder to be at church with all the babies/children/pregnant women. In our 'small group' (a mid-week group) the majority of couples have children, and both our small groups leaders have been pregnant this year - one gave birth in the spring and the other is due any day. As a result of this I haven't been to small group for a few months or to church for a few weeks, and am missing it very much, but also just feeling like it is too much at the moment.

I'm looking to get to know people going through similar things. We live in the East Midlands.

I think that's about all I can think of to say!


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

to FF, Cfb107!!! Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you.

My church in the UK was in a small village and very traditional, therefore most of the congregation were a lot older than me, so there were very few children there, so I haven´t really been in your position. Although I can relate to some extent as I have struggled being around friends who have got children and have lost contact with some because they just don't understand why sometimes it is hard to be around them. There is a "Coping With Infertility" section that might help ~ CLICK HERE I have now moved abroad and although I have been here 6 years I still don't feel comfortable enough with the language or the people to go out there and find another church, and my relationship with Him has been dented a bit by this infertility journey, I have struggled a lot with the "why me?" question. But I suppose that waffle is best suited for the religion section!!!

I have seen your post on that section and given you a few links there, I have also seen that you have already found the PGD and regional section, so there are not really many links I can give you!!! There is a "What Every New Member Needs To Know" thread which includes a list of common abbreviations and will help you navigate the site (although It doesn´t look like you need much help with that!) ~   CLICK HERE

PCOS ~ CLICK HERE

Our live chat room has a new member chat at 8pm on Wednesday. Here is our Chat Zone section which will give you info on other chats: CLICK HERE

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it. We go through all the highs and lows of treatment together.

Good luck!            

Sue


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## cfb107 (Jan 24, 2012)

Yeah our church is HUGE and with a very young congregation so all the mums and babies. I'm not surprised your relationship with Him has been dented, I'm trying to work out where mine is at the moment, without being ungrateful for the opportunities He HAS given us to pursue having children (we live half an hour from CARE, a great clinic for PGD, and there is the possibility of unlimited funding for PGD in the East Midlands).

But I've had a lot of suffering in my life - all through my childhood - and yes I am very much struggling with 'why me' at the moment.

Overall I find it helpful to remember that Jesus didn't tell us to go to church, not even once!


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## Ruthyshimona (Aug 19, 2012)

Hiya cfb 107,
Your the first post I've ever replied to, as this is my first day on this site LOL  I'm a Christian as well and it's been really hard for me to get myself to church at all - and I too found it really helpful that Jesus never said you must go to church  My church is really small, only three young couples including us!! and the other two couples both have had two babies in the time we've been trying. Nobody has had any experience there with infertility, so in the end I realised my mental health just couldn't take it. Between me and my husband we have 5 siblings and when we first started trying for children 6 years ago none of them were trying, now all of them have had more than one child, I still struggle with the 'why me' question everyday!! I was looking up "balanced translocation" online cause I didn't know what it was, I'm still struggling to get my head round it, but it must have been really difficult knowing about this for so long. I've got two 99.9% blocked tubes, but I kind of always felt that there was something wrong. Sorry I just realised there I've only got one tube now as I had an ectopic pregnancy and lost one tube then  That's great news that you have all resources close at hand and unlimited funding. I Pray for The Lord to bless you with Babies      all the best  
Ruth


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## cfb107 (Jan 24, 2012)

Ruth thanks so much for replying! I have translocation from my dad and PCOS from my mum so a great bundle!

Feel free to PM me any time if you need to chat. I think being a Christian is a special kind of torture in all this, with the way families/marriage can be glorified! (I don't mean to make it sound like I'm not grateful for God and for my faith, because I am, but...)


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## Ruthyshimona (Aug 19, 2012)

Hi cfb 107,

I totally agree with you, it is a "special kind of torture" that's exactly how I feel, thanks for putting that into words for me. My husbands from a gypsy background as well, so I sometimes feel like I have a double portion of the families/marriage being glorified. Thank you, I'm sure you'll get a pm for me and feel free to do the same! I'm currently in full time education as well so if I don't get back to you straight away I'm probably stuck writing essays, but I will get back to you! Praying for everything to go well for you, That the Lord would be with you protecting your emotions and mind through the treatment and for that BFP around December     xxx

 XXX God Bless XXX  

Ruth


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## cfb107 (Jan 24, 2012)

Good luck with your education, who are you studying with? I was studying for undergrad degree with the OU but have just this week had to give it up (it's still really raw) as I feel I need to get a job to get me out of the house and not thinking about infertility all the time for the good of my mental health during treatment. Also we need the money.


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## Ruthyshimona (Aug 19, 2012)

Sorry to hear that you had to give up, I know what you mean though I think getting out and about keeping your mind occupied is so important. OU is hard at the best of times with the self discipline, but it must have been even more hard with all treatment and that in your mind - I couldn't do it! Of all things I'm studying mental health nursing, which I think has been a help to me through this cause I can use everything I'm learning on myself   Plus it's half practical and half theory, which is good cause I struggle to have the drive to do essays when I'm going through treatment I'm suppose to be doing an essay just now!! But for some reason whenever I start all these thoughts about the IVF flood my mind and I start to get nervous and then a troll the Internet for information to calm my nerves!! What was it you were studying?


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## cfb107 (Jan 24, 2012)

I was studying English Literature. I figure if I need more education or training, I can always do it again in the future - after all this is over - but I can't do IVF another time so it is more important. 

Your course sounds brilliant! I might feel differently if I was doing a more practical and vocational course. Also mental health nursing must be really interesting. I just can't sit in the house and pretend to care about Shakespeare - or even worse, what ridiculous critics say about him - when we are going through all this!!! For some people it might be a distraction but I think I need to be out the house as much as poss. and focusing on practical things.


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## Ruthyshimona (Aug 19, 2012)

Hiya,
That's exactly what I think, I have to put my all into this IVF just now other things have to wait. I do think I'm blessed doing this course just now, cause of the practical side keeping me busy. And your totally right you could go back to it! To be honest, i find it difficult to concentrate on keeping my house tidy, i'm so nervous about the IVF let alone critically thinking about anything LOL!!!   For me distraction works wonders, as long as I'm busy I forget all my worries and practical working or exercise are great ways to keep busy for me! I'll be praying the Lord gives you something sugar!


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## cfb107 (Jan 24, 2012)

Thank you! I am DESPERATE for a job but there aren't many opportunities where we live, fingers crossed!! I know exactly what you mean about being too nervous to concentrate on anything. I only managed to fill out half a job application today as it is so easy to get distracted!


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## Ruthyshimona (Aug 19, 2012)

Hiya, sorry never got back sooner! Been struggling with so much to do. I'll keep praying for a job for you honey. I find it really draining filling out application forms too, they're such a pain!!!! I'm so nervous about Monday. I'm afraid if it doesn't work, that i'll not be able to cope. But I keep telling myself I've coped this far. When i've gone through things I've just had to keep on going, so I'll just have to again. But it's a scary prospect going back to feeling that depressed. Sorry that was a bit of a rant there, never knew I was going to say all that LOL   Hope your having a good week?


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## cfb107 (Jan 24, 2012)

I feel EXACTLY the same as you and I'm not even there yet, lol!!! I am so worried about not being able to cope if it goes wrong. I SO don't want to be there! We've got to just trust God to give us the strength at the time if we need it, right? Mainly just been feeling really anxious about it all this week - about how I'll cope. You've not got long now though!! Try and think, either way you will feel SOOOO much better afterwards, because it won't all be hanging over you. And if it goes wrong, you will know you will be able to cope in that situation in the future. You have TONS of embies so that loads and loads of opportunities for it to work!!!! I'm sure one of those little embies will take   been thinking of you xxx


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## Ruthyshimona (Aug 19, 2012)

Hiya girly,
Thank you for your support and encouragement, it helps so much  my life is always so funny, every time I have any kind of fertility thing someone either announces there pregnant or gives birth to a baby! And guess what going for ET tommorow and at the same day and time my sister in law is being taken in early to have her baby!!! Lol we'll be just a couple of doors away from each other! I'm really working hard not to believe this is a bad sign (mainly cause I don't believe things like that - bad signs I mean) but it's been a running theme throughout this past six years!!! Lord please       let the embryos be ok!!! Hey girly sorry I'm always talking about myself, how's you? Any news on the job front? Take care, God Bless xxxxx


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## cfb107 (Jan 24, 2012)

It might not be a bad sign - it might be a GOOD sign, a promise of what the Lord is going to do in you. It must be hard though. All is well here, just waiting around to start my treatment.... Going to get fed up of waiting, lol!

Good luck tomorrow! Going to be thinking of you!!!


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