# Not married - is this a prob?



## seren (Nov 16, 2003)

Hello all,

I have a query that I hope someone can help me with.

We aave more or less decided to call it a day with ivf after 2 negative attempts. I have contacted the local council and they are sending me application form etc for adoption, however, I'm really concerned because my partner and I aren't married, we are very happy as we are and have every intention of spending the rest of our lives together - is this a problem when it comes to adopting?

If it is a problem then we would get married (but not because we really want to, it would just be for adoption purposes).

Also, I'm a divorcee and I can understand that that doesn't look good either. Has anyone else been in same situation and successfully adopted? (I am 30 and DP is 28 so ideally we would be looking to adopt between the ages of 0-3yrs and would be more than happy to adopt a sibling group)

Any advice would be nice!!


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## Angus (Jun 1, 2004)

Hi seren

I too have looked into adoption. We have since got married but we were living together when we first met our social worker. She told us although there was no problem with us not being married only one of us could actually adopt the child/children. and then if the partner who adopted the child died the other partner would then have to adopt it although that was just a formality. she also said we would both have to go through the same checks and everything as we would obviously both be parents to the child. but this was a couple of years ago and i don't know if this is still the case.

Good Luck 

linzi xx


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## Wizz (Nov 6, 2002)

Hi seren
like the others have said not being married shouldn't really be a problem. My sister is in a same sex relationship so obviously marriage isn't an option but they're keen to adopt. Although they're not very far down the path yet, they have been seen by a social worker and are going on the course next week. 
good luck
wizz


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi Seren

I'm married but from the information I've been given by our Social Services, being unmarried isn't a problem. Although as Linzi said, I believe that although both of you will have to do the checks, only one of you will be able to legally adopt the children.

Hope it all goes well.

Cindy


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Seren

From all the stuff I have read it doesn't appear to be an issue. As Wizz says, there are same sex couples who adopt and there are also single people.

As a divoorcee, you need to be aware that the social worker will have to make contact with your ex husband. My dh is a divorcee and they had to contact his ex. They are given a time limit to reply and if they don't (she didn't) they take that as a positive endorsment.

Good luck

Love
Karen x


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## seren (Nov 16, 2003)

Thank you for all of your replys, I'm not sure about only 1 of us being able to adopt, that doesn't seem fair, I think it would probably be better to get married and both adopt. Also I don't like the idea of them contacting ex husband either but I would have to do whatever was needed. Anyway, thanks again!!


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