# new stressed member!



## emabee100 (Apr 30, 2009)

Hiya! I Would like a friend or group to talk to who are in a similar position to me, I'm 24 which I know is still quite young and That 'theres plenty of time' for us to get pregnant (as people keep telling me grrr!)  but me and my partner have been trying to conceive for 2 year and 5 months. We are both fiancially secure and dedicated to each other therefore a baby seemed like the 'perfect' next step for us however it just doesn't seem to be happening! We went to the drs and my partners sperm came back at 5.6 million and mortility was low too (everything seeed to be about a quarter of what it should be) he had mumps so we think it aybe down to this! does anyone know if it is still possible to get pregnant naturaly with such a low count? our dr has referred us to the fertility clinic at jessops in sheffield as he didn't realy know what to suggest or give us any clear answers or direction, we go in a couple of weeks time. I'm realy nervous and scared at the moment about the whole thing, I've told my close family but my partner is a bit embaressed and feels he is to blame as feels he is letting us down, he also finds it difficult to talk about which I find hard as I just want to talk about it all the time, I have tried ovulation tests,the whole temperature taking and read the books etc etc and I appear to be ovulatig normally and my periods are normal but nothing seems to be working! It seems like a massive step actualy going for fertility treatments, I would appreciate any suggestions on how to maxamize my chances of getting pregnant naturaly before we take the step of going ahead with IVF or am I beig naive? anyway sorry for babbling I would appreciate any advice. Thanks, Ema x


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## Loz_1982 (Apr 28, 2009)

Hi Emabee, 

I am in a similar position to you. I am 26 and my husband is 28. There isn't really a problem with me, i do have polycystic ovaries, but like you i ovulate regularly and my periods are regular. My husband has sperm count and motility problems also, and we had been trying for a baby for 2 years before we went for IVF treatment last month. Its really difficult to suggest ways of bettering your chances naturally because i don't think anyone really knows, my husband gave up alcohol completely which helped raised his sperm count and motility, but our Dr still suggested IVF. He thought we probably would conceive naturally eventually, but there were no guarantees.

When you go to your appointment your Dr will talk everything through with you, and you don't have to start treatment start away if you'd rather give yourselves longer to conceive naturally. Its a really hard thing to go through and its natural to be nervous, i was totally petrified!!

I am currently waiting to see if it has worked, and it makes you   lol, but although its hard, its also worth while and you get through it. If you want to ask me anything, or just to talk, then I'm here. Everyone else on here is really nice too, and a mod will be along soon to reply with useful links for you.

Take care

Laura

xxx


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## YorkshireSue (Jan 26, 2006)

Hello Ema, and welcome to Fertility Friends. I'm so sorry to hear about your journey, people who have no experience of IF can often be quite insensitive without meaning to be. It doesn't matter whether you're 20 or 50, it still hurts, doesn't it?   You have definitely come to the right place, I'm sure you have realised already that the site is a huge source of comfort, information and advice.

Here are some links you might find helpful at the moment. If you haven't already done so, please do have a look around and explore and start posting around the boards and making friends. FF is a wonderfully supportive community and you can only get the best out of it if you start posting and joining in so, please do so.

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Male factors ~ *CLICK HERE

*Questions for your first cycle consultation ~ (use the ones that apply) *CLICK HERE

*Clinic Reviews ~ * CLICK HERE

You can have a bit of fun or just gossip while you are on FF too so check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area:

*Girl & Boy talk  Community & Fun Board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also meet and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. Please come and introduce yourself on the Yorkshire Girls thread, I am a regular over there and I can personally vouch for the fact that they are a wonderfully supportive bunch.

Just want to wish you loads and loads of luck for your future journey.

Please keep us posted, and do not hesitate to ask if you have any questions whatsoever.

Lots of love,

Sue​


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## didabuf (May 29, 2008)

Hi Ema. really dont worry about it, these boards are great for speaking to people.
im only 24, my partner is 22 and has CF so it means we cant concieve naturall. we have been on the waiting list for a year and are due to start treatment on 25th of this month.
you fertility clinic will be able to help you, blood tests etc, and maybe even some drugs to help you along, but they will be able to answer all your questions and but your mind at ease a bit.

good lukc with everything and let us know how you get on

Did xxx


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## Sue74 (Feb 26, 2009)

emabee

welcome to FF, you'll find lots of support here tp help you on your journey, everyone is great. Try to keep     and    with your treatment.

Take care loves suexxxx


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## emabee100 (Apr 30, 2009)

Thanks for replying I realy appreciate it, I will keep you informed, its comforting to know there are people in similar situations. My sister has just found out she is pregnant so I'm so excited for her but jelous too so its nice there is somewhere where I can rant and not upset anyone!!! xxxxxxxx


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## Hobie (Apr 30, 2009)

Hi Ema - Im new to this site to. Saw your message and wanted to reassure you that whilst its scary going for treatment it can also feel good to be doing something positive toward your dream.  Also I dont know if anyone else would agree but I found all the tests took so long to do, hormone levels, ovulation, rubella antibodies, chlamydia etc that it can be months before you start any kind of treatment. So I would say go along and speak to them so you can make an informed decision about your next step. Also dont worry about your DP not wanting to talk about it. I think its different for men, they handle things different to us, lets face it they are not great communicators in general. I wanted to talk about it all the time and my DP didnt. It caused quite a rift between us for a while. But going through FT together will ultimately make your relationship stronger. It sort of cements you. My DP still doesnt like talking about it as he finds it stressful (yeh ok Im the one injecting myself with hormones and hes stressed!!) But you learn when its ok to talk and when they just want to pretend its not happening. You have to respect that they dont want to talk about it as there is a danger it can become 'all' you talk\think about. It can take over. Im 4 yrs in and on 2nd IUI and now realise that we could be in for a very long journey so we have to remember to have fun together, have times when it isnt mentioned and just be together enjoying each other. My nurse once told me that whilst I may be thinking about it 'all' the time, he doesnt need to know that - as stress is no good for sperm. Goodluck with whatever you decide to do


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## dmpink (Oct 16, 2008)

Hi

I just thought I would add that when we started down this road my DH sperm count was 12 million, a GP told him no hope of concieving  . Since then he has made some lifestyle changes such as cut down of coffee, alcohol, started to exercise more, took vitamins (that I got and dished out every day lazy bugger!) and drank much more water. A while later once we started down the IVF route (as I have issues too) another test showed sperm count to be 26 million so it had gone up, then ore recently he tested at 42 million which is well within normal perameters. So I guess I just wanted to say that lifestyle changes can help, may take some time but worth a go. Plus sperm count can vary a lot month to month, so it is worth having a couple more tests if you can get them organised. Then at least you can gauge an average. Also a tip when having a test we have found that it is best to have sex (or him to orgasm) three days before and then abstain until the test. 

Hope that has been some help hun, good luck.

D xx


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## emabee100 (Apr 30, 2009)

Thanks gor the advice hobie its nice to know someone understands, Why can't men open up like we do haha! A big worry of mine if I go ahead with treatment is taking time off work. Do you get a lot of time to plan days off for appointments etc. I haven't told anybody at work about our problems and I'd rather not say anything unless I have to. I'm a nurse so luckily I'm not scared of the needles but obviously it is difficult to get time off unless I get quite a bit of notice in advance! I hope your treatment works out for you, I only wish I had your attitude, at the moment I feel like its never going to happen for us. I'm sure once we have a plan of action in place though I will start to feel more positive and I'l try not to stree to much at DP    xxxx


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## emabee100 (Apr 30, 2009)

Also thanks D, My DP does drink a lot of coffee so that could be a good start!!! x


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## Hobie (Apr 30, 2009)

Hi Ema
Glad some of what I said helped - your not alone - everyone on this site will understand what your going thru. I felt like someone had stuck a big label on me 'Unexplained Infertility' when I went to the docs and left in tears. There are good days and bad now. Today not so good as drugs making me feel quite nauseas, tired and irritable with a constant stomach ache - but hey ho hopefully will be worth it. Thats what I find the hardest is the treatment failing and then you put yourself thru it for nothing - but have to keep trying   My work is very good as my boss knows and understands, it can be stressful juggling appts and work but I am lucky as they operate a flexi system so I can nip off to appts and then work late - tiring but a way around things. My team are a bit bemused and wonder where I keep going but its none of their business - I wont be office gossip. I find that most appts only take 1 - 2 hours so I dont book whole days off. I also try to time appts around lunch times so can take a longer lunch. It can be stressful but it is managable. Ive got my DP on vitamins and orange juice now and now caffeine - hes reluctant to give up alcohol completely as he enjoys a pint but has agreed to not drink while we have treatment. They say dont let it take over your life but it kindof does when you have to monitor what you eat and drink. DP gets quite grumpy about it all. Your so lucky that you are use to needles. That was big hurdle for us both. I nearly fainted the first time I did it - not nice   but am getting better now. DP helps. Goodluck with it all and any more worries or concerns jump back on here, Im no expert but Ill try to help if its something Ive been thru. - Hobie


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## emabee100 (Apr 30, 2009)

Hope it works out for you hobie, I'm not looking forward to treatment at all but I suppose if thats what it takes I'l do anything! Its so frustrating how its so difficult for some people and then so easy for some, I'm fed up of hearing people getting pregnant after a one night stand or people who do't even deserve to have kids.I think I will get DP on some wellman tablets and see he gets on with those! thanks again. Talk soon, Ema x


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## Twopence (Dec 14, 2008)

Hi Ema  

Just wanted to pop in and say my little piece!!

My DH did a test and was told he didnt have enough normal sperm. My gynae then recommeded a second test and he said there were enough normal ones (still a little on the low side) but they were swimming slowly.

So we embarked on a vitamin regime. He takes selenium with Vitamin A, C and E and normal vitamins to get his zinc up etc. Last test three months after the second and he has been told he has 54 million swimmers and the test was 'normal'!! Great news.

I would totally recommend vitamin supplements. Although my DH was gettting 100% of his Zinc each day when TTC they recommend double this. Alos, selenium can work wonders. You can get pro natal tablets in Boots for him and her and loads of people recommend these. Other people will be able to give you a really long list of supplements but these are a good start.

Good luck xx


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## emabee100 (Apr 30, 2009)

hi guys just to let you know we have been referred for ICSI and were told it would start within 18 week!!!! (shocked thought it was guna be about 18 months) Bit overwhelming but exciting, 30% chance I could be pregnant by christmas, fingers crossed I'm in that 30%. Hope you are all okay!!! (also got my DH on wellman vitamins! fingers crossed xxxxxxxxxxx


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## Hobie (Apr 30, 2009)

Thats fantastic news Ema, Im so pleased for you.  Goodluck with it all. And if you get worried or down about any of it then jump back on here and let it all out. You should see if there is an ICSI thread. In the meantime take good care of yourself for the next 18 wks aswell as DH, Im sure you know to cut caffeine alcohol and eat well as you said youve read all the books. Get on the pineapple juice and keep taking those vits and Im sure you'l be fine. Im keeping everything crossed for you.  

Hobie


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## Twopence (Dec 14, 2008)

great news Emma

There is an ICSI thread whcih you can get to off the main board.

Fingers crossed you get that extra pressie by Xmas!! xx


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