# just feeling lonely today :(



## raspberrytipple (Feb 4, 2012)

It's three years this month since we came off the pill, all the excitement of ttc has gone, all the hope and now I'm lying in bed crying-I can feel my period on its way and I'm just not coping. I just want to hide from the whole world.  This was my first proper cycle after my lap & dye and it seems to have messed things up a little bit which is frustrating me even more. I just don't know what to do anymore, babies popping out everywhere, it feels like its just me who can't manage it. We still have to wait until October to have  a follow up with the consultant so I just feel like we are wasting time now. It's just rubbish.


----------



## JO35 (May 2, 2009)

Didn't want to read and run.  So sending you a    xx


----------



## Bluething (Jan 1, 2012)

You're right raspberrytipple, it is rubbish and I'm so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time at the moment. I wish I had magic words of wisdom to make it better but I don't - I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. Sometimes this journey that we're on his a complete  . Do you have people around you that you can talk to? If not remember that the people here are always here when you need us. Sending you      

Bluething xxx


----------



## raspberrytipple (Feb 4, 2012)

Thanks guys. Weirdly although a lot of people know we are having infertility problems all they can say it it'll happen when the time is right, just relax it will happen, ivf is exciting etc etc. all of it true I'm sure but actually, today I just want to feel sad and cry.


----------



## DnG23 (May 23, 2012)

raspberrytipple, just wanted to give you some  too!

I also have down days like this - all the tests take such a long time and it is frustrating.  Its not easy waiting months between each appointment. My partner and I started our tests about 15 months ago and by the time we had our first appointment to discuss IVF, they were out of date and some had to be done again! 
I also have PCOS but I don't know about ovulation tests etc, just wanted to say you're not alone.  It can feel even lonelier when you see your posts have been read but not replied to!  lol x x x


----------



## tazza_uk (Apr 23, 2012)

hi rasperberrytipple 

Firstly, lots and lots of hugs being sent your way.

I am also awaiting my appointment hopefully October/November time, nothing yet confirmed  .

Some people dont have a clue about infertility and dont know what to say, so sometimes they think that saying 'nice' things will help, but in reality you just want to scream at them.... well i do anyway!

There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a 'tissue' day, they can be very helpful, releasing the emotions and there are always lots of ladies (and guys) here who know how you are feeling.

Again lots of hugs and feel free to message me anytime. xxx


----------



## Lyndsy (Jun 2, 2012)

Hi Raspberry tipple. 
People can be so inconsiderate, If i hear one more time- "if its meant to be....."!
I completely understand, I know we should all be positive, but sometimes I think you've just got to have a good cry. You can't be positive all the time and if you don't feel that you are then don't pretend you are. 
Ive had 3 friends in last week tell me they are pregnant, and all have had no problems TTC. When you know someone is pregnant that has struggled to conceive I don't feel jealous at all. I know its probably wrong to be jealous of other friends but I think its perfectly normal in our situation. 
You're not on your own. 
x


----------



## raspberrytipple (Feb 4, 2012)

Thank you all, my period came and went so its back to healthy living and sex every other day until day 22! I'm not using sticks this month, although its good to know when I'm due I kind of think I need to stop thinking about it now, it hasn't worked to date so I may as well just try to kick back and wait for the consultant appt in 20 weeks (prefer counting weeks to months!) and hopefully if he is true to his word we will be referred for ivf.


----------



## Billybeans (Jun 16, 2012)

I raspberrytipple,

I understand how you must feel, it is more difficult to hear about Ladies who have conceived without any problems than Ladies who have taken a while because they havn't had the heartache, they have had it easy and they wont understand how it must feel for you.

I have had all these feelings too and just wanted to say it must be normal for Ladies like us, so please don't feel guilty for the way you feel, it is a natural response and can't help feeling that way.

I think it's a good idea some months to not track your cycle as closely as you usually would, it gives yourself a bit of time out from the constant worries. 
I wish you all the luck for your next tx.
xxx


----------



## quinette (Jun 17, 2012)

Hallo iam lonley to I have endo and recovering from it so I had zoledex inplant an no period for nearly 5 months so I need a friend


----------



## raspberrytipple (Feb 4, 2012)

well, I don't really feel much better.  I'm ovulating this week and DH is working stupid hours so looks like that's another month gone. I actually feel that I can't cope with it much longer and like I've lost control.  I'm so angry with myself for not making us go to the dr sooner to get the ball rolling, we should have marched in after a year but instead, well, we just left it and left it to see what would happen and now it just feels years and years and I can't see any end in sight.  I just hate this, I really, really hate it.


----------



## Billybeans (Jun 16, 2012)

I am so sorry raspberrytipple that you are feeling so down. Have you got anything to focus your mind on whilst waiting for the enxt time to try, do you need to get fit, lose weight, eat healthier? I know it's not easy but if I am going through a stage of feeling like nothing is happening I find it more manageable when I have another focus. I am currently waiting for immune investigation results and so now I am concentrating on having a healthy lifestyle. I hope there is something you can focus your energies on for the short time until you are ready to try again.


----------



## raspberrytipple (Feb 4, 2012)

Thanks shining, I did find myself a focus and tend to keep pretty busy. I'd entered a pole dance comp at the of July (day after two weeks holiday!!!) so would have thrown everything at practising but found out yesterday my dad has what they are pretty sure is bowel cancer, he's having more tests on Monday to find out what they will have to remove. Just all seems so up in the air at the moment. Still, need to concentrate on dad now for a few months, not myself. xx


----------



## Billybeans (Jun 16, 2012)

I'm so sorry raspberry, what a trying time you are having


----------



## raspberrytipple (Feb 4, 2012)

Well, it never rains but it pours as they say - never truer at the moment!  Im sure I wouldnt be half so fed up with everything if the bloody sun would just come out.....


----------

