# New - scared - nervous and starting IVF



## 26kathryn01 (May 18, 2011)

Hiya , this is the first time I have joined any kind of forum like this but then again i didn't think in a million years I would be going through any off this, I'm 28 DH is 32 and we have been TTC for 3long years, DH has Nil sperm ( all test done and NO explanation ) I'm OK ( Well I hope ) We have just be refereed to to CARE at Nottingham, ( now I've lost 2.5stone to be at my goal weight ) I went for my Pre treatment scan yday which went OK - We go again next week to talk about the results - Does anyone know what happens from here? 

I'm a bit of a control freak and hate all this waiting and not knowing   it bugs the life out of me - I know they are taking sperm from DH testicles and then go from there. 

If anyone else if going through the same then pls give me some advice

Much appreciated - Kathryn


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## Lollie2501 (May 9, 2011)

Hi Kathryn 

Welcome to FF! I haven't been on here very long either but have been made to feel at home and have met others in the same situation as myself. Support and advice has been great! 

We are suffering from secondary infertility after having DS and 2 miscarriages and now my OH has been diagnosed with azoospermia. It really did come as a shock and never imagined that sperm count would be nil!    DP is having SSR next month and then we are hoping to start ICSI soon after our Consultation in August.

I too hate feeling like things are out of my hands and the not knowing is one of the most hardest parts! At least once you know where you stand you can move forward and deal with what you face.

Do you know when your OH is having his SSR? Has your OH's Urologist not given any indication of the type of azoospermia your DP may have? 

I am not sure exactly what happens after your Pre treatment scan as I haven't had mine yet but I assume that as long as all of your tests have been done and SSR a success then you will find out your treatment plan and when it will start! I will be having that once af arrives so it is done ready for when we see the Consultant in August. I am also having my hormone bloodwork done too so hopefully all being well we can start soon after our Consultation!

Hope you find all the support and advice you need!


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## pinkcat (Dec 3, 2008)

Welcome to FF, Kathryn ! This is a great website for support, information, laughter and friendship. It helped me a great deal throughout my treatment. Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help.

I can sympathise with you also as my DH was also diagnosed with azoospermia  . Sounds like your DP with have SSR and then hopefully if they find the sperm you can have ICSI treatment. 

Here are some links I think you may find helpful

Fertility Information Guides

click here

Male Factors in Infertility

click here

ICSI

click here

You may want to start a diary of your fertility journey

click here

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi". 
click here

The What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) thread will give you some info on how to navigate the site 
click here

If you look on the main forum index you will find location boards. You can find others in your area, and even people going to the same clinic who will provide invaluable advice - some groups even have meet ups.

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support and information.

Pinkcat


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## Jem1978 (May 17, 2011)

Hi Kathyrn

I am new here too so would to say hello. I am just starting the IVF  process after 2 years TTC (secondary infertility with 2 miscarriages).I have done a lot of the work up myself pre attending the clinic due to my history of serve endometeriosis. 

I am absolutely terrified at the moment! But am trying to remain as calm as i can. It's so much to take in; the emotional, financial, relationship and juggling work and childcare. 

I feel clueless as to how it will all pan out. My DH has his more detailed sperm test Thursday and i will need a AFC on Monday. I guess once these are done we will know more.

Sorry i don't have any words of wisdom but i wanted to say hi from another newbie just starting out

Jemma


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## 26kathryn01 (May 18, 2011)

Thanks for all your replies it makes you feel better knowing ur not on your own. We go this Tue for 2nd app at CARE ( All another step forward ) Lollie we haven't been told what sort just that all his blood tests are OK and there isn't any blockages so they cant really tell us why it's NIL i find that very frustrating. Jemma ur right it's all such a strain but I really do try and stay positive so thats all us ladies can do.

thanks again for your replies it really does help
much love xx


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## Lollie2501 (May 9, 2011)

Hi Kathryn

It is really frustrating that they haven't told you why your OH's SA came back as nil amid I hope that you soon get some answers soon. 

Please let us know how things go at your appointment this Tuesday. We have our Implications Counselling this Tuesday and although DP's SSR isn't until next month and our Consultation isn't until August, things at least feel like they are moving forward.


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## 26kathryn01 (May 18, 2011)

Thanks Lollie - yes I will keep you updated. Seems like we are in kinda the same boat - Who decided on ICIS or IVF? We haven't got to that point yet so I've just been reading up on both and they both look so daunting - think I need to man up a bit lol.

The frustrating stuff is DH family have kids, 10 ( not all from one sister lol )  in fact so i knew he always wanted a big family and now this  

I only have one little nephew to spoil and he's just scrummy but it always makes me wonder when it will be our turn - who thought something so natural would be so bloody hard. 

Speak soon xx


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## Lollie2501 (May 9, 2011)

Hi Kathryn

Hope all goes well tomorrow! 

My OH's Urologist said that we would need SSR and ICSI. It was hard to take in at first but for now we at least have hope to hold on to! At the moment as it stands we have a chance so fingers crossed!

Thinking of you and let us know    

xxx


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## wibble-wobble (Apr 16, 2011)

Hi me and my hubby are in the same situation,he has zero too. we're just waiting on the results of all the blood tests and ultrasound to find out the why. Another 2 weeks until our next appointment, not that I've been counting down days or wishing my life away waiting  

Think it's likely it'll be icsi treatment for us too as with ssr they don't get the number of sperm they need for ivf

hope you get all the answers you need at your appointment tomorrow Kathryn

lollie august will be here before you know it


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## Lollie2501 (May 9, 2011)

Hi Wibble-Wobble

Please let us know how everything goes for you and your OH when you have your appointment in a couple of weeks. Is that when you will get test results back? Waiting and not knowing is tough!

I am not quite getting excited about August yet as I would like DP's SSR out of the way first. Hopefully all will be well there and then we can focus on starting treatment. Two weeks thursday now. Not that we're counting are we??   

X x x


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## wibble-wobble (Apr 16, 2011)

lollie

thats all life seems to be at the minute a countdown to the next milestone   after the next appointment for the answers I'll be either counting down to hubby's tese or ssr or maybe even to a pie invite.....

Not knowing makes the countdown feel longer          13 sleeps now


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## 26kathryn01 (May 18, 2011)

Hi again ladies - well today went OK ish after waiting 2 and half hours and been measured weighed and had the CO test we finially got to see the lovely consultant, they have said it would be ICSI after DH SSR - hopefully start in Aug ( so same as you ) one thing that did shock me was that she said the DH failed the CO test ( he smokes ) i told them that chesterfield hosp mention to him to stop/cut down but as long as I didnt smoke ( which I dont ) then we would be ok and get NHS funding,then today we get told we dont ( gutted   ) we honestly didnt see it coming and the consultant even double checked for us. So thats where we are DH has to keep taking the CO test at the local GP once he gets a negative its all systems go - he then goes back to CARE Notts for a MARK day - giving them a sample every 2hours for 6/8hours then we go from there. Is it worth getting a SSR etc of should we go straight to donor these are all answered as and when. We get 4 goes on the IUI with donor. 

Not the day I was hoping for BUT still we know where we stand.
Hubby has tried several times to stop and failed so i'm going to ring the GP tomorrow and maybe get some advice. 

Thanks for listening - needed that andddddddd breath Kathryn


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## Lollie2501 (May 9, 2011)

Hi Kathryn

I'm sorry that day wasn't really what you had hoped it was going to be although knowing where you stand is something.

I think that your OH should go ahead and have SSR as you are still not aware of what is causing his azoospermia. There is every chance that some sperm could be found and used for ICSI. Then after that you could consider using a donor if needed. It really is up to you and your OH though tbh!

Why does you partner have to give all those samples in one day? Are they thinking they might find some sperm that way? 

I know how hard it is to give up smoking and I hope that your OH gets through it ok! I didn't realise that they wouldn't fund for treatment if either of you were smokers! Good idea to visit the gp. There are things that can be prescribed to help give up. Hopefully your GP will support him and point him in the right direction.

We had our Implications counselling before SSR. It was mainly for other half to sign consent forms etc! SSR is almost only 2 weeks away!!! 

Would be great if we both start treatment in August together! We can be cycle buddies and support each other through!

Aways here to listen


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## 26kathryn01 (May 18, 2011)

Hi Lollie , I'm sat here at work but thought I would check the site ( it becomes addictive ) Yes they are hoping for some sperm but the likely hood I think is still NIL but i suppose we have to go with the motions, once that is over we will know our options better   Yes both starting together would be great - DH isnt really a talker.

Anyway pls keep me updated with your progress too xx


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## lollipops (Oct 17, 2009)

Kathryn - 

Just to let you know I'm at care notts and I hope you find it as lovely as I do. Sorry things seem to have been going to plan regarding your DH's smoking. Hopefully you will be able to start soon.


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## Lollie2501 (May 9, 2011)

Hi Kathryn

This site really does become addictive and I'm logging in and out all the time! lol

I am hoping that you get some sperm when your OH has SSR. Were his hormone levels ok when he had his bloodtests? Do you have a date set for SSR?

My OH doesn't really talk much either! I think that is another reason why I like this site so much as I can share how I am feeling otherwise there are times that I feel close to exploding!

I hope you had a good day at work.  

No updates from me at the moment. Just counting down the days now until SSR!!!


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## Kath 15 CW (May 4, 2011)

26kathryn01 said:


> Hiya , this is the first time I have joined any kind of forum like this but then again i didn't think in a million years I would be going through any off this, I'm 28 DH is 32 and we have been TTC for 3long years, DH has Nil sperm ( all test done and NO explanation ) I'm OK ( Well I hope ) We have just be refereed to to CARE at Nottingham, ( now I've lost 2.5stone to be at my goal weight ) I went for my Pre treatment scan yday which went OK - We go again next week to talk about the results - Does anyone know what happens from here?
> 
> I'm a bit of a control freak and hate all this waiting and not knowing  it bugs the life out of me - I know they are taking sperm from DH testicles and then go from there.
> 
> ...


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## Mrs NC (May 25, 2011)

Hi Kathryn.  I am new to the site and IVF too.  And nervous.  And scared!!  All those good things.  DH and I have been through all the pre screenings - he passed with flying colours and I didn't (low amh 1.4.  We had a lovely appointment at the Lister yesterday and hopefully start short protocol IVF in June.  The whole forum / treatment thing is quite overwhelming (for me anyway) but it's definitely good to chat to people who know what you're about to face.  I am equal parts positive but equal parts realisitic.  Crossing absolutely everything and just going with the flow.  People beat the odds every day - why can't it be us!!
Good luck to everyone      

xx


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## Lollie2501 (May 9, 2011)

Hey Mrs NC

Not long until you start treatment then! Wishing you loads of luck! 

Please let us know how everything is going. Us first timers are all very nervous and scared! I am excited too but I think the other feelings out weigh the others for sure!!

Good luck to you all     

   xxx


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## Mrs NC (May 25, 2011)

Thanks Lollie2501, I will be sure to keep you informed.....you too!  Exciting / daunting / emotional times
    
x


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## Lollie2501 (May 9, 2011)

Mrs NC 

I will be sure to keep you informed! Our next stage is OH having SSR on the 9th. Hoping after that we can prepare for ICSI. Our Consultation is booked for August.

We're on an emotional roller coaster right now!!!!!

 

xxx


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## Mrs NC (May 25, 2011)

aaaah good luck!!!   x


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## 26kathryn01 (May 18, 2011)

Lollie - yes his hormone tests were all fine I think thats the bit of hope I'm hanging to that because every test / blood test has been OK that there will be some - We just have to get over his smoking then we get booked for a MARK day then go from there and if it's worth it then a SSR ( this has all been advised to us as the best thing to do - Dr Sing at CARE rang me yesterday told me to drop another 6lb also get a BMI of 29 ( I am now at a BMI of 30 as advised from Chesterfield Hosp - lost 2stone to get this ) so we have a house of no smoking and no eating ha ha not a nice house to be in at the minute - but if I didn't laugh i would go insane. 

Mrs NC I'm the same such an emotional journey - as soon as I step in CARE i go soooo nervous and I don't know why because it's a lovely place ( all though there was an annoying couple eating crisps very very loudly in there the other day I was just so annoyed they had a child running around also - I get a little touchy - I know I shouldn't ) 

Lollipops yes I find it lovely - just nerve racking - hope your journey is going great as can be 

Thanks for listening guys xx


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## Lollie2501 (May 9, 2011)

Hi Kathryn

I am sure that it's a good sign your OH's hormones tests being ok. I will be hoping and praying for you both  

How is your OH going with giving up smoking? I used to smoke in my teens and early twenties and gave up and started again so many times. I haven't smoked now though since I had DS. Right now though, with all the stresses and worries I feel like I could start up again most days! 

You will do great losing 6lb more as you have the incentive of being able to start treatment once DH has given up smoking and had SSR! At least you and hubby can support each other even though it's making your house a difficult place to be, lol! As the days pass it will get easier for you OH. I'm pleased you can laugh about it. Here to listen as always if things get tough or you need to vent!

Keep us updated and have a lovely bank holiday weekend xxx

  





I know that nervous feeling you get when you are at the clinic. When we went for Implications counselling the other day I was physically shaking. I dread to think how I will be on the day of SSR or when we start treatment!


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## 26kathryn01 (May 18, 2011)

Thanks for your reply Lollie - DH is doing really well i'm very impressed with him - He smokes 30per day but has cut it right dow to just 5per day at the min - He's been to the GP but they no longer give out tablets- Champix etc, you now have to ring this NHS number and go to a metting ( delaying things if you ask me ) but we are use to weighting for things now so we have rang them we are just waiting for an app - He'll do it   life changing thing for him but I have faith.

DH seems to think the SSR is pointless cos he is certain he doesnt have any and is happy to use DS we've shed the tears we've had the sleepless nights we just want to know where we stand.

I bet you are counting down the days for the SSR? I'm sooooo hoping you get the results you want  

Have a great weekend too xxxx


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## Lollie2501 (May 9, 2011)

He has done really well to cut down to only 5 a day after smoking 30 daily! He will be a non smoker in no time. 

It's good that you have discussed using DS and have talked through that option should you need it. Do you think he will have SSR? 

We are counting down the days now until SSR. After this weekend we will be able to say that SSR is next week! It won't feel far off then. We are so nervous but can't think about anything else!!


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## 26kathryn01 (May 18, 2011)

Hi Lollie - How are you and your DH? Hope ur well   How hacve things gone with the SSR it's today isnt it?

I'm hoping he will be given the chance for SSR but not sure , anyway I'll await your reply see how you've got on x


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## Lollie2501 (May 9, 2011)

Hi Kathryn   

I wish my OH's SSR was today as then the wait would be over! It is next Thursday the 9th! Thank you for thinking of us though.  

I hope that your OH will be given a chance to have SSR as well! When do you think you might find out if he will have one? Have you got anymore appointments coming up 

  

xxx


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## 26kathryn01 (May 18, 2011)

I'm going round the twist   dont know what me made me think it was the 1st lol The waiting is terrible isnt it - does it bother your DH?

We have been given the option on funded SSR OR funded donor so the doctor at CARE says you should be prepared to pay for DS if the SSR doesnt go well - so we've asked for %'s but she isnt keen to give us any until the MARK day ( but all his samples he has given over the last 2/3years have been NIL ) so what do they think they will find by giving samples every 2hours?  

I want to go for the SSR but DH is convinced there is NO point because he doesnt think it's worth it - Ive told him though it's OUR choice not just his - think he will come around - it's just emotional for everyone even though I no he doesnt like to say it is - I think - he thinks if he cracks then I will loose the plot ( hope that makes sense ) 

Is ur DH nervouse about the SSR? Have you been given any kind of idea in what they will find? xx


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## Lollie2501 (May 9, 2011)

The waiting really is driving me mad! I don't want to wish my life away but time is going so slow as I just would like to know the outcome of SSR so we can plan and hopefully make our next steps in this journey!!

Will the NHS still fund DIVF if SSR is unsuccessful as I think if you can talk your OH round you have a great plan A and a great Plan B! Also once you have funded SSR will they then go on to fund IVF if SSR is successful?

I really hope your OH comes round to the idea of having SSR as I feel there is hope for you both as so far his bloodwork has been normal! (Don't want to give you false hope but there could still be a chance as I am sure you wouldn't be given the option of going for SSR at all if it was felt there was no chance at finding sperm) I know it has to be a joint decision though and it's great that you OH is happy to go ahead with DIVF too! 

I have heard of people having SA every 2 hours and eventually having a few sperm in later samples! I read on the net once that a couple managed to find few but enough sperm from doing this but it was enough to fertilise eggs for ICSI, so you never know but if there is a blockage then I can't see them being able to tell much from this although I'm no doctor, lol!! Has your OH had a vasography to check for blockage or the bloodtests to check for conditions that could mean he absent Vas Deferens? If it is a blockage then there is every chance that there is sperm there that can't get out and could be used for treatment!! 

My OH doesn't really let on how he is feeling  as like you OH I think if he cracks then I will get tipped over the edge! He is very laid back as well and it doesn't seem to phase him! I worry so much more then he does! 

He doesn't seem to worried about having SSR on the 9th as he recently had hydrocele repair and a testicular biopsy at the same time which was less straight forward with a longer recovery. His Urologist seems to think he will be back to normal a couple of days after so he knows it won't be as tough going as the last op!

Sperm were found when my OH had his diagnostic testicular biopsy. He too had normal blood hormone levels. We just need to hope and pray that they find sperm again on the 9th and that they are usable, freezable and survive the thaw!! An embryologist will be present this time and we will find out that day what is found and if it is suitable for freezing. We will find out the following day if any was frozen what has survived the freeze! We haven't been given any odds at all either just that there is a possibility! 

  

xxx


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