# Newbie



## Jayjay71 (Jan 18, 2011)

Hi Everyone
I'm very new to all this and I'm not sure where to start but here we go...... I have been trying for 3 years with no joy and have had all the test done and there seems to be nothing wrong with myself or my partner.  My Dr has informed us that IVF is the best possible chance we have, I'm 39 and my partner is 48.  My period came yesterday  so today I made that phone call to the hospital to start the process of IVF......Now that I made the call I feel excited and nervous all at the same time (I hope this is normal). I have just made an appointment to have reflexology to help me relax.....I have read this could help. Now I'm just waiting now for the time table to be set.
Bye for Now
Jay


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## Jess1ca (Jan 18, 2011)

Hi Jay,

Joined today too. Same thing, nothing wrong with either of us I am 34 and partner is 36. We have been referred to Oxford Fertility - letter should go to them from the hospital in the next couple of days   

Bob x


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## Jayjay71 (Jan 18, 2011)

Hi Bob,
How are you feeling? I feel a bit sick in the stomach.  I want it to happen now. I hope all goes well with you  keep me posted how your doing.
Jay x


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## Jess1ca (Jan 18, 2011)

Hi Jay,

If I am totally honest I feel rather sick rather then relieved we are going help. Not sure how that works   guess I am frustrated that we couldn't manage it on our own


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## Jayjay71 (Jan 18, 2011)

Hi Bob
I was thinking the samething I wish we could of done it naturally...It makes me think, when all my friends were going, I need to have a baby as my body cloak is ticking.  I was always the one to saying don't worry you have plenty of time and guess who got caught out .  I could not of had a baby before away because I never meet anyone I wanted to have a baby with until now.
jay


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## Jess1ca (Jan 18, 2011)

I kind of had the same thing. My mum was 40 when she had me so never really had the feeling that there was a rush to have children. Slowly all my friends have had/are having families and now I am wondering if I should have started earlier but again very similar thing to you as was not with someone that  I felt I wanted to have children with. We will get there though.. one way or another!


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## Jayjay71 (Jan 18, 2011)

Hi Bob,
I'm going to sign off now. Keep me up dated with how your doing. 
Good Luck


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## Jess1ca (Jan 18, 2011)

Will do - catch you later and all good things to you as well


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## Jess1 (Jan 17, 2011)

Hi Everyone i'm new to this too came on lastnight   I start my second course of ivf next month, 1 min i have really high hopes and then this other feeling comes over me but whatever feeling you get you just have to go for it has this is the only way forward  
Is everyone being really healthy and not drinking etc ? Does anyone drink cups of tea also i don't know if i'm meant to be cutting down or not drinking the stuff at all   Hope all goes well for you all  x


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## Jess1ca (Jan 18, 2011)

Please don't tell me you can't drink tea!   That is the only way that I can get through the work day. My office is all men (and me) and they are all lovely guys but get warm so have the air con on full blast. All I can do is wear jumpers and hug my tea cup! 
That aside being healthy, have joined WW and being good with the drinking. I did do lots more sport but have been injured lately so not able to do any of that at the moment but will pick it up when I find out what is wrong from the physio next week. Wish me luck


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## Jayjay71 (Jan 18, 2011)

I've cut out the drinking and as it happens I don't drink tea.  Perhaps you can look and see about herbal tea's or hot water and lemon juice I've have not tried it but I know a few people who have it in the mornings.  I'm going for reflexology in the morning so I'll keep you updated how I got on.....I so need something to help me relax.


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## Jess1ca (Jan 18, 2011)

Jay - I hope that the reflexology works for you, I will have fingers crossed. Whereabouts are you and where are you planning to go for the IVF?


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## Jayjay71 (Jan 18, 2011)

Planning to have IVF at Shrewsbury Hospital. I have gone private and that is where my dr practice. I have met a lot of the nurses through appointments and telephone contact and they are lovely and put you right at ease.


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## Jess1ca (Jan 18, 2011)

I am further south than you in Cambridge but going for IVF in Oxford when they come back us with dates that is


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## Jayjay71 (Jan 18, 2011)

I'm just waiting for my schedule to come through the post any day now.  How far along the process are you.


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

to FF Jay 

Please have a good look around the site and feel free to post in any area, and make yourself at home. There are many who are on their TTC journey, and others who have been fortunate to have little ones with assistance. You will soon discover that our members are very encouraging of one another and offering advice or just simple hugs. There's a vast amount of information here for everyone, so start reading, posting and getting to know others. You will make some great friends too, lots of members often have meet ups locally too, for chats, coffee, shopping or even nights out! You can share conversations with one another freely, simply because we all understand each other. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what this journey entails and the emotions that go with it. That's where we come in!

Here are some links which you should find really useful at the moment&#8230;&#8230;

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Complimentary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ *CLICK HERE 

*Unexplained ~*CLICK HERE

*Investigations & Immunology ~ *CLICK HERE

*Questions for your first cycle consultation ~ (use the ones that apply) *CLICK HERE

*A Rough Guide To IVF ~*CLICK HERE

*IVF General ~ *CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment.

*Cycle buddies ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

Wishing you lots of luck    and 
Keep in touch
Ceri xx

PS I have also sent you a pm (private message)


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## Jess1ca (Jan 18, 2011)

Jay -  we have just been referred so waiting for a first appointment. Not really got far yet so probably not too far behind you. x


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## Jess1 (Jan 17, 2011)

Hi ladies just read your post .... i used to be a big coffee drinker until i gave up smoking but have gone from one thing to an other and that other being cups of tea gggrrr i don't know if it's just as bad for you as coffee .... but there hasn't been a day were i'm  confused about something to do with this treatment lol I have to sometimes laugh at myself cos i'm afraid im that thick on something's.
I do drink hot water and lemon only when i am feeling unwell but have been drinking alot of herbal organic tea called pukka so would maybe have round 2 cups of that as it's nice but dead strong and then 4 cups of normal tea. I haven't had my wine for about 3 weeks now but not really missing it at all to be honest ... Does anyone esle feel they are rushed on the fone at their clinic like it takes me ages to get through and then you feel i can't get all the information i need cos you can tell they are real busy which of course is understandable cos im not the only person waiting to talk to them ... but i can't help but feel my good money is fluttering away without sometimes a care in the world and it's feels pretty much like a cattle market at times as before when i first went through this it was fully private and it was much more relax on my part but the chances of finding that again is hard cos i hear that it's all getting nhs/private more or less everywhere .... How can you say calm and collective when i feel like this    More importantly after reading your stories wishing you all the best in everything you are doing before your tx and during it


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## Jess1ca (Jan 18, 2011)

Hi Jess, not really got anywhere yet as just been referred to OFU (Oxford Fertility Unit) for a first appointment and until then it is a case of waiting....
I drink lots of normal tea but might have to move on to herbal - so far everything seems to be a contributing factor to something or other  
Hey ho.. all the best to you for your tx


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## Jayjay71 (Jan 18, 2011)

Hi Jess,
I have to say that Shrewsbury is very good I can always get hold of someone very easy.  But everytime I've been there it is manic.  I have had reflexology today and I was told some story's how it can help when you are going through IVF. One was how it helped to produce more and useable eggs.  We could be have tx at the sametime......good luck and fingers crossed 
Jay


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## Jess1ca (Jan 18, 2011)

Jay - pleased that the reflexology seems to have helped in some way. You never know with these things


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## fofa (Jan 12, 2011)

hi everyone, i do nt know where to start, I m 40 my partner is 44. I left started family late because of my busy life style. was trying for a year, no joy.All my test were normal but  my doctor suggested IVF because of my age plus the fact that my husband has high percentage of abnormal sperms (93-98%).
first IVF was June 2010, 6 mature eggs , 3 embryos, 2 transfered it was BFN. second one sep 2010; 14 mature eggs, 9 embryos, 5 blastocyct 2 transfered, unfortunately was not successful(BFN)  
Now i had the remaining 2 frozen embryos transfered on the 20th Jan, i m so scared of the result. Please pray for me
xx


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## Jess1ca (Jan 18, 2011)

Fofa -            for you xxx


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## Jess1ca (Jan 18, 2011)

Little update at the moment... still no call from the clinic so think I might have to go with being a little bit impatient and call them   ...  Can you tell that I am not good at waiting for some things??  
Just want to know that they have got the letter not too fussed about the appointment and the start of the tx at the mo .. sigh..


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## delgir1223 (Jan 22, 2011)

Hi
We are under oxford too they have been great and although it is a bit of a trek at least we can have some of the appointments in reading which is much closer. 
I am trying to lose a bit more weight as theykeep saying it will give us a better chance as for the drinking I can take it or leave it. THe tea however is a different story I am ment to cut out caffeine as it can make it harder to lose weight if you have polycystic ovaries and I love coffee almost as much as tea I have one answer for the tea PGTIPS decafe it is the only one which I have found tastes like proper tea hope this helps you get through your work day 
Nikki


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## kuga (Jan 24, 2011)

Hello 

I have just joined ff yesterday as a friend of mine told me about it.  I live just outside Reading with my husband & up until last year we had been trying to get pregnant for 3 years.  After having all the tests at the Royal Berks & them being clear we were told it would be put down as unexplained infertility.  I was so upset as if there was a known problem then it could of been sorted but it felt like I had been just pushed aside & then told the only way forward was IVF.  I felt such a failure as I couldn't get pregnant naturally like all my friends. We ended up chosing the Oxford Fertility Unit as it was the closest too us & started our IVF cycle last June. I had 7 eggs & then 5 took & 2 were put back in as they were the stronger eggs.  The other 3 eggs had died so I had none to freeze.  In August I found out I was pregnant with one baby as the other egg did not make it & we were thrilled as it meant no more drugs & we wouldn't have to pay for another cycle.  We went to our 6 week scan & there was no heart beat, after another 3 scans we realised I was going to mis-carry & I had to go to hospital.
We were so devastated & my body was so worn out from the drugs & then the mis-carriage & I was emotionally drained, so we went on holiday.  I am now about to start my second cycle of ivf next week at Oxford, so here I go again.
The hospital were fantstic all the way through our last cycle & I couldn't fault them & the great thing was I could go to the Berkshire Independant for my blood tests & scans, so I only had to go to Oxford for the egg collection & retrival.  Even after I got pregnant & mis-carried they were so supportive.
I have that awful sick & excited feeling back in my stomach now as I am so frightened as I know what to expect this time round but I don't want the out come to be the same.
So good luck to all below & no nothing was mentioned to me about not drinking tea or coffee, but I only drink water anyway.  I am just glad I have found people in the same situation to talk to now as myfriends don't understand as they all have had babies naturally. xx


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## delgir1223 (Jan 22, 2011)

Hi Kuga

sorry it didn't work out last time but hope it goes well this time. 
I though as I had been fortunate enough to fall naturally eventually with my first the pressure wouldn't be so bad this time but seeing all my Friends pop out thier 2nd and in some cases 3rd while we have struggled again it doesn't feel any better. 
I'll have everything crossed for you oxford have been great so far so fingers crossed have my down reg blood test in B.I.H on7th.

nikki


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## vloughry (Jan 25, 2011)

Hi all, 
I too am new to this site. 
My DH and I have been trying to get pregnant for 4-5 years now. Last year we had an IVF cycle at the Oxford fertility clinic but unfortunately none of my eggs were fertilised so there were no embryos to be transferred back. The clinic were very good and explained that as my hormone levels were not ideal the chances were that any further IVF attepmts would have the same end result. We were gutted. We have now decided that ED abroad is the next step. Have done a bit of research and I think we are leaning towards Eugin Clinic in Barcelona. I am quite nervous to actually start the process but at the same time don't want to hang about. So confused! I would be very happy to hear from anyone who has been to this clinic for treatment as I don't really know where to start.
Val


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## Jess1ca (Jan 18, 2011)

*Hi Nikki* - thanks for that. I think I may have to move to the decaf tea.. sniff sniff.. but then if it helps then I'll take all the help I can get. DP and I live in Cambridgeshire so it is a bit if a trek to Oxford mind you we can have some things done locally in Cambridge which takes a lot of the strain off. Have been told to lose weight too so have joined WW as I think that might be the best option for me and see what happens.

*Kuga* - I know exactly how you feel. I feel totally useless when you can't do things naturally even when there seems to be nothing wrong. Especially when most of my friends have at least 2. Still it is one of the things in my path so onward and upward  . I worry that trying to explain to some friends I will just lose the plot, or just keep on about it and so have kept it to myself. DP is extremely supportive and that helps a lot but find that being able to express it here with people who know what you are going through is a relief. Hope you feel better and that this helps you 

*Val * - Haven't been to that clinic as not started any tx yet. I am waiting to hear back from OFU and start the ball rolling. Feel sick about it but it is a now or never


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## kuga (Jan 24, 2011)

delgir1223 said:


> Hi Kuga
> 
> sorry it didn't work out last time but hope it goes well this time.
> I though as I had been fortunate enough to fall naturally eventually with my first the pressure wouldn't be so bad this time but seeing all my Friends pop out thier 2nd and in some cases 3rd while we have struggled again it doesn't feel any better.
> ...





Elfin76 said:


> *Hi Nikki* - thanks for that. I think I may have to move to the decaf tea.. sniff sniff.. but then if it helps then I'll take all the help I can get. DP and I live in Cambridgeshire so it is a bit if a trek to Oxford mind you we can have some things done locally in Cambridge which takes a lot of the strain off. Have been told to lose weight too so have joined WW as I think that might be the best option for me and see what happens.
> 
> *Kuga* - I know exactly how you feel. I feel totally useless when you can't do things naturally even when there seems to be nothing wrong. Especially when most of my friends have at least 2. Still it is one of the things in my path so onward and upward  . I worry that trying to explain to some friends I will just lose the plot, or just keep on about it and so have kept it to myself. DP is extremely supportive and that helps a lot but find that being able to express it here with people who know what you are going through is a relief. Hope you feel better and that this helps you
> 
> *Val * - Haven't been to that clinic as not started any tx yet. I am waiting to hear back from OFU and start the ball rolling. Feel sick about it but it is a now or never


 Hey Nikki I have my down reg test on 28th feb at BIH & I start sniffing next week but this time they are putting me on a different drug that you ahve to sniff 4 times a day instead of 2 & they have increased my injection drugs so fingers crossed I don't know what I am going to do if this doesn't work as money is running out & I just don't think I could bear it I am trying to stay positive but it is so hard after what happened last time as you don't want to be too positive but you don't want to be negative either. My DH is great & is a real support but he is just as frightened as me. Let us know how you go with your down reg test


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