# Rheumatoid arthritis sufferer about to start third cycle of IVF



## Howarth1976

Hello. Is there anyone who suffers from rheumatoid arthritis trying to get pregnant. I have been off my medication for nearly three years. Have had two failed IVF cycles and about to start my third. I am in agony everyday and so sad and fed of of being in pain on top of the heart ache I am going through not getting pregnant. Would LOVE to chat to someone who knows how I feel as I feel very alone


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## Lomosso

Hi Howarth,

I don't have rheumatoid arthritis so I'm afraid I can't comment on what you are going through.  I do have a form of non generative arthritis that is from having Crohns disease so get very painful joints - I used to be on a tablet I think called solazopryin (can't remember how to spell it) that was meant to help both the Crohns and the arthritis - I was told that people with rheumatoid arthritis took the same drug.  I now survive on paracetamol when in pain. I also have endometriosis..... so like you do think life is unfair when I see friends, my sister and sister in law having children, I do often think "why not me, when is it my turn"

I very much believe that life is made up of little treats..... so go out and buy yourself a little something, like a chocolate bar or new pair of earrings.

I do hope that someone else on this site can be more understanding than me about the rheumatoid arthritis.

Take Care
xxxxx


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## BakerJ

Hi there, I have rheumatoid arthritis (though I am lucky that it is not too severe). I was taking methotrexate but had to come off it about 8 months ago as you may be aware, you can't be pregnant on it. So that left just sulfasalazine & prednisolone. The sulfasalazine wasn't working great, so I was starting ot suffer a bit, but I have come off that too about 3 days ago in preparation for ET, I'm starting to suffer now big time!! Prednisolone helps me a bit.  I can identify with the feelings of heartache from not getting pregnant, however I was so lucky to get pregnant after 1 cycle of IVF/ICSI, plus had some embryos frozen, so I'm doing a FET cycle at the moment. I was also lucky that once pregnant my RA improved until about 7 months, but did come back with renewed energy once I'd had my baby.  I am sorry that I can't be of any help, but you ARE NOT alone, I've been there & as I say am so lucky to have had success. I wish you so much luck with your third cycle, and if you want to chat / share you feelings or whatever, then do write back to me. I hate to think of you feeling so alone.
xx


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## Wraakgodin

to FF, Howarth1976!!! Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you.

I am glad Lomosso and BakerJ came along and gave you some advice about arthritis, I don´t know anything about that side of things, sorry. But I can give you some links that will help you with treatment.

IVF General chat ~ CLICK HERE

Keep a diary of your treatment (or read the experiences of others) ~ CLICK HERE

Cycle Buddies (undergoing treatment at the same time) - CLICK HERE

Coping With Infertility ~ CLICK HERE

Regional ~ CLICK HERE

What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~   CLICK HERE

Our live chat room has a new member chat at 8pm on Wednesday. Here is our Chat Zone section which will give you info on other chats: CLICK HERE

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it.

Good luck! I hope it is 3rd time lucky for you!          

Sue


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## Howarth1976

Hello Lomosso and BAker J
Thank you both so much for replying to me. It helps so much to know there are people out there that are going through similar. 
I was diagnosed almost 17 years ago with my RA and funny enough they started me on sulfasalazine which didn't work for me but it didn't work for me. Was put on methotrexate and didn't look back. I have always tried to be so strong, never let it effect my life but being off the methotrexate now for 3 years has taken its toll. I am on predisolone and also a drug for crones called anzathioprine, every 3 months a steroid injection on top to help as my body is becoming immune to the drugs. I know Lomosso you don't actually have RA but have the symptoms of it you both understand the hideous feeling of aching and exhaustion all the time.

It does really suck when it seems everyone around you is getting pregnant (I have 4 friends that are at the mo, 3 just had babies and 2 at work who are pregnant!) I am sooooooo dek
Lighted for them as I know how much I want it but MAN it sucks WHY NOT ME 

That is such fantastic news Baker J I am so delighted IVF/ICSI worked, there is hope out there! Good luck with your FET, will be thinking of you.

Lomosso let me know how you are doing.

Please chat to me when ever, I truly believe a problem shared and all that! 

Wishing you both well.
Take care x x x x


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## tazza_uk

Hi, hope you dont mind if i join in as well. 

I have RA, used to be methotraxate, which worked pretty well for RA but stopped it a few years ago.  I am still on prednisolone and steriod injections every 3 months/when required. 

I know how bittersweet it is to see everyone else falling preg so easily.


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## Howarth1976

Hello tazza_uk

Lovely to hear from u 
I am so sorry to hear you are suffering to (((( having RA is one thing but dealing with this on top is hideous. I have put on a stone and a half cause of the predisolone and what they call moon face (face has gone so fat I look like a hamster!) so it's hard enough trying to put on a brave face when you feel so rubbish about your self. Have you had the same weight gain?  

I sound negative sorry. I use to be a really positive person, even with the RA thinking it could be a worse illness butt I have been beaten down over the last 3 years and have had enough of everything raaaaaaaaa!!!!!

It is so nice to know there are people out there that feel the same (I hope!)

My rheumatologist has said that the RA should go when pregnant so I feel like getting pregnant is not only my dream but also has that positive as well so hanging on by a thread for both!

sorry if I have waffled on  I just appreciate so much being able to talk to someone. The IVF clinic recommended their councillor which my self and my husband went to but she was useless. Didn't understand the added pressures my illness puts us under.

sending big hugs xx


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## BakerJ

Hi all - sorry to hear Tazza-uk & Howarth that you are both suffering so much with your RA. I feel very lucky to have it relatively mild, though it can still be debilitating at times.  

I do know so well though about the emotions that go around when people you know seem to get pregnant so easily. I feel that I am a horrible person for not feeling so pleased for them.  I managed to convince myself the other month that I had got pregnant naturally, so when I started to bleed I was so distraught  . After all, everyone told me that once I'd had once baby through IVF, that I'd probably get pregnant naturally, so you start to believe them! The same day my period came, I hear my sister-in-law was 12 weeks pregnant (even though according to her when I'd seen her a month previously, she wasn't considering having another baby a present). And her 1st child was an "accident" shortly before her wedding!! I can't begin to describe the emotions that I felt & still do. How can someone get pregnant accidentally when I'd been trying for 4 years! And then when she knew we were having to do IVF again, she didn't warn me that actually  she did want another - I think it would have been so much easier if I'd know that. And I feel such a bi**h (excuse me) for feeling this way & not being delighted for her. But I am so lucky to have one child, so my heart goes out to you that haven't yet been so lucky. Sorry for harping on, but finally I have a chance to tell someone who might understand.

Howarth - yes your RA should improve whislt pregnant (it did for me), I can imagine though that makes it even more frustrating for you as being pregnant would be doubly good!!

Have any of you tried acupuncture? I had it during my IVF/ICSI cycle & it feel it helped with both the IVF & the RA. I'm having it again this time, though not sure of the benefits yet, though it is pretty relaxing! Maybe something to consider if you haven't done already.

Sending hugs & good wishes to you all
xx


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## tazza_uk

Hi

Howarth - yes i did start putting on weight with the prednisolone, which is a nightmare as i have pcos. In a way i was lucky as it hasnt given me the 'hamster pounches' but it is still there  

BakerJ -  Another lady i speak to often has also recommended accupuncute.  It is something i am going to be looking into.

Sometimes the doctors seem a bit confused about what treatment is best because of RA, so im SO glad to find others in the 'same boat'


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## Howarth1976

Hello Baker J and Tazza_uk

Baker J you rant as much as you like ( I was a bit worried I had too much last night, don't want to scare anyone of with my negativity!) believe me when I say I have thought and felt everything you have said. I feel like I sound like a right bit!!h sometimes. I think it is so difficult for other people not going through this bl!!dy nightmare. I know what you mean about other people, a lady at work said she didn't know she was pregnant for 3 months (an accident) I mean REALLY!!!!!!!! Plus two others being accidents and then one of our best mates when they told us were like, we didn't expect it to happen so quickly raaaaaaaaaaaa. This makes me soooooo angry and sad. All I have ever wanted since I was a little girl was a family   I am so sorry to hear about your sis in law, that sucks. ESP as she knew what you are going through that is so insensitive. People just don't get it! I find the forget about the time aspect as well, how long it has being going on. Surely they must understand that time seems longer as well when your living a nightmare, emotional roller coaster. I had to remind my friend the other day, she has got engaged, planned a wedding for a year, got pregnant, been pregnant for 9 months, had her baby and now her baby Is turning a year old......and I am still going through this!

I apologise to everyone reading my posts if you feel I am so negative, miserable and maybe ungrateful for what I do have. It is just so great to be able to talk to people who really know how I feel. What with being diagnosed with RA at 19 ,not being able to walk dress myself or anything, loses my father 9 years ago. I am grateful for my loved ones and tell them what they mean to me everyday. But what happened to the good things happen to good people saying!

Tazza_ uk and baker J
I have tried/trying acupuncture. I don't do it with my first cycle but did with my second and am now doing it Again in preparation for my third cycle. And will do it during. The fertility clinic actually recommended it. I also have a friend that had two miscarriages, then did acupuncture and is due in 5 weeks  so there must be something in it. The fertility clinic say stress is the worst thing, so I have actually just bought a relaxation and visualisation cd. My husband is gunna put it onto iPod for me so I can listen to at acupuncture. I will let you know if it's any good ( it says it has three stages, per during and the two week wait)

if I haven't scared you away with my ranting, then happily rant back   

Big hugs x x


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## tazza_uk

Howarth, 

You havent scared me away, rant away! I feel it is great to be able to share the worries that i have kept hidden for soooooo long, with others who actually understand.

Sorry to hear your having a pretty rubbish time with your friend.  Feel free to message me anytime you want a 'shoulder/ear'


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## BakerJ

Hi Howarth, so glad you felt you could rant too! Now we know we are all comfortable with ranting so lets rant away!!!! Haven't time to write much now, so take care & you Tazza-uk too.

xx


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## Howarth1976

Hi girlie's  

I really feel like I have found someone/friends who truly understand who I feel THANK YOU   

Did anyone find they have had other symptoms with predisolone? On top of the weight game and moon face! My hair has got thicker and really curly. Couldn't work out what was going on with it first of all until the doc said steroids can effect it. Plus I Bruise really easily which is common apparently, and more facial hair. Gosh I sound like a right manger ha ha. Still blond PHEW when I do my make up it shows up that I have a bit more. Also my mood swings, which also is apparently common. I can get really low, kinda understandable what with everything but also really angry. Never use to be an angry person but I can fly off the handle so easily. My poor husband  

Tazza_UK
Have they said how long the waiting list is? You must be going out of your mind waiting to start.

Baker J
That's fantastic news that you had two go to blastos  I only had one on my first cycle and non on my second (but did lose my uncle during second cycle and also have that nuero virus) so they reckon I didn't stand a chance. Oh I have everything crossed for you, sending positive thoughts your way Hun     

Big hugs to all my new found friend


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## Howarth1976

P.s sorry that meant to say I sound like a right minger!!!!! Ha ha


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## Clarissafallon

Hi Howarth,
I am sorry you are in pain, I know how it makes so many aspects of your life harder.  I have ankylosing spondylitis, which largely affects my feet and ankles.  The inflammation caused so much damage to my joints that a couple of years ago I had to have my left ankle pinned to reduce the pain.  I now walk with a limp, but a least I can put weight on it.

I had tried many of the drugs that you and others have mentioned with little success.  I was lucky, my consultant put me on Humira.  He did this with the full knowledge I was undergoing fertility treatment.  It changed everything for me.  I still have flare ups and need a short course of steroids to get me back on track, but I have ditched the crutches and my joints don't seem to have degenerated further since being on the drug.  Is an anti-TNF like Humira an option for you?

The downside is that I was always told that once the active inflammation was under control I would get pregnant.  Well that has not happened!  I don't know what role the auto immune element of the disease has played in this, but that is a can of worms I am not yet ready to open.  Maybe we will if this IVF cycle is unsuccessful.

I completely understand the feeling of things not being fair.  The year that we got married, we also attended four other weddings for our friends.  Every single one of them has gone on to have not only one child, but two!  It is like there is a party going on that my husband and I are not invited too.  Their lives have moved on without us and I now struggle to attend events when we are all together.  I can't join in with their conversations and it hangs over us that it is clear we are having fertility problems.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and I am really hoping that 2013 is going to be the year that it turns around for all of us!


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## Lomosso

Hello!

I went on predisolone when my Crohns got worse, and I remember the moon face and also the bruising.  Even when I came off the predisolone i still bruised easily - I ended up taking arnica tablets and cream whenever I went on holiday.

Does anyone else find that their joints hurt more round the start of their period, or when tired??

I feel like I am on a boat with friends who don't have children, the lucky ones get off and have a baby, then get back on when they want another one. I in the mean time drift around, getting close to the shore every now and then, but never actually getting of the bloody boat!!

I do hope you all have lovely weekends.

xxx


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## BakerJ

Hi,
I bruise quite easily too - had never put that down to the prednisolone though!!!
Lomoso - my joints hurt more when I'm tired, but I'm not sure if it's that I'm tired because my joints hurt!! Before I was diagnosed with RA, my joints weren't too bad, a little sore, but I initially went to the doctors because I was so exhausted all the time. Fatigue is still something that I find very debilitating. And if my joints flare up, I get even more tired.  I do like your analogy to the boat for fertility - very apt!!
Clarissafallon - sounds like you have had a rough time of it too, though I'm so pleased that you seem to have found a medication that helps. I wish you lots of luck  with your next cycle.
Hugs to you all, xxxx


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## BakerJ

Hi all, hope everyone is doing well?
BFN for me this cycle  
xx


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## Howarth1976

Hello Girlies

So sorry for being quiet for a bit, last week was sooooo hectic!

How are you all doing?

Clarissafallon - you started last week how is it going?

Tazza - how you getting on darlin. 

Lomosso - how are you getting on? No update recently.



BakerJ - I am sooooooo soooooo sorry, my heart is breaking for you    how are you doing sweetie? You must be in agony right now. Sending you the biggest hug     

Sending massive hugs to all my ladies who's heart I truly understand x x x x


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## Lomosso

Need bubbles and hugs. After 2 positive HCG tests the 3rd  today was a negative result. I did think that following all the bloods the only way it would not have been washed away is by having crampons all over itself. At least I don't think I could have done anything more.

Xx


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## BakerJ

Lomosso - I'm so sorry to hear your news. I feel your pain. How are you doing? Sending you big hugs     

Howarth1976 - Thanks for your kind words & hugs. I'm doing ok. I've throwing myself planning my next cycle. I'm looking at changing clinics to somewhere nearer to me, so that is distracting me doing the research!!! 

Hugs to all xx


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## Howarth1976

Lomosso - Oh hun I am so sorry to hear your news. I am not sure which is worse, getting BFN straight away or a little bit of hope. I have had both now. I had the same as you with my first cycle and you just cant help but keep hoping it will be ok. Sending big HUGE hugs     That's such a good way to think, you did everything you could. I try and say to my self, whats meant to be will be (fate etc) but it's not that easy. I know if someone says that to me in a few weeks time I will probably scream!!!!!! Hopefully coming from someone who understands your pain it doesn't sound quite as bad. Thinking of you so much. Will you try again?

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA       sick of this crappy world!

BakerJ - You sound like you are holding it together really well, although I know your heart must be in agony right now. Throwing your self into something is always helpful. Where do you find your strength!  When do you think you will do your next cycle?

This is probably our last cycle so I am so scared that i will never be a mummy  but trying to stay positive and calm as I know that stress is one of the worst things. Mind you how you are not suppose to stress god knows!!!!!

Big hugs girlies x x


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## BakerJ

Howarth1976  - I'm only able to stay so strong because I am so lucky to have my gorgeous little girl when others have not even been this lucky. For the few days when I was getting my BFNs I just kept her so close to me to remind myself that in reality I am very lucky.  I'm told that I can start a new cycle after ! normal cycle, so I guess that means it wil be a couple of months. 
I'll be praying for you lots during your cycle. Yes, stress is not good, but unavoidably really, so it's just about doing what you can to reduce it!     

xxx


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## Howarth1976

Hello BakerJ

Wow that really touched my heart and brought a tear to my the way you talked about holding your little girl close to you to get you though this tough time. I think your positive outlook must help you, although how ever lucky you are/you feel having your little one I can still feel your pain at the heartache and disappointment you are feeling. Big hugs darlin    

April huh. I hope that we are still in touch, still chatting by then. Once you find people/friends that understand you I believe you shouldn't let them go. But you can ditch me if you want ha ha  

Tahnk you for your prays, I need every little bit of luck, fate and everything else! Trying to stay calm, drink my water milk acupuncture (which I do not enjoy, although I did fall asleep tonight!)

Any tips anyone has please let me know.

Sending love and good wishes to all my new found friends who share my dreams and feelings   

Gotta dash, injection time! Oh joy.

X x x x


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## BakerJ

Howarth1976 - I certainly plan to still be chatting by the time I do my next cycle, I'll be keeping an eye on how everyone else is getting on!  Like you say, once you find friends that understand, you shouldn't let them go easily!
Take care, xxxx


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## Howarth1976

Hello BakerJ

Phew! Was thinking I may have sounded a little ott about friendship. My husband calls me a soppy sod   but I think when you go though what we are all going through you appreciate friends sooooooooo much  

Plenty of chatting ahead for us all.

Lomosso - thinking about you sweetie 

Clarrissafallon  - hoping 2013 will the be the year for all of us, HELL I reckon we all deserve it!

Love and hugs x x


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## tazza_uk

Hi 

I agree as well.  You were not ott about friendship.  Its great to be able to be honest about things, hormones and all, to someone who actually understands!

I look foward to chatting with everyone!


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## Howarth1976

Hi girlies

How are you all doing?

Thinking of you


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