# Emotions when trying to get a second baby with help



## Mummy who had PGD (Jul 13, 2010)

Hello all,

I am trying to have a second baby via IVF (with PGD as I have a kind of muscular dystrophy).

I wrote a post on my blog about how I sometimes feel guilty for wanting another baby as if I am ungrateful for the one I managed to get. I often find myself, when I am talking about trying for another baby saying things like "we are so lucky to get Dexter, we are really happy we have him" etc etc. It is only when i got an email from another lady in my position where she thought she might seem selfish for wanting another baby that I realised that I probably am not the only one who feels like this.

It is completely silly, I am only wanting what many other people get easily. How do you guys feel?

I would like it if any of you who have opinions on this would post them on my blog as a comment. Here is the post that I am talking about.

http://apgdblog.blogspot.com/2011/01/new-baby-and-planning-number-two.html

Good luck to everyone with your treatment, mine doesn't start for a couple of months (been delayed!)

Shona

/links


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi Shona,

I think what have you said is correct and I am sure a lot of us feel guilty.  I know how lucky we are to have my son and will only use our frozen embies and then that we will be it.

We are truly blessed and getting thousands of pounds in to debt to give him a sibling is not for us.  We live comfortably now and I am a stay at home Mum which I love. Financially we do OK and we can have a decent live and afford outings and a holiday now and again.  In order to get a sibling would mean getting loans and then I would have to work and I don't want to leave my son with anyone else to look after.  And I am not judging anyone for working by the way.  

However I understand this is a personal opinion and not everyone feels like this.  Of course my life hasn't gone the way I planned it, but we don't always get what we want do we?

My friend is now 42 yrs old and after 6 IVF's attempts and no baby, my life really isn't so bad is it?

Good luck.

Stacey
x


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## Mummy who had PGD (Jul 13, 2010)

Hi Stacey, 

I wonder if that is why some of us who are trying to get a second baby can feel guilty is because we can empathise with people who are unsuccessful at IVF given that it could so easily have been us.  For example, there is always someone worse off and doing IVF yourself makes you realise how many people there are who are worse off than you, if you finally succeed.

I am glad you have your life all sorted now.  It is not easy dealing with infertility and it is success stories like yours (and mine) that are the reason for doing it in the first place.  If only everyone could be so lucky.

Shona


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