# Crossroads - thoughts?



## Daisy1972 (Nov 11, 2011)

Dear FF,
I have been lurking in the background for a few months and now I am asking for advice ideas, although it might be hard for anyone to give advice. So I have just turned 43, I have a beautiful boy who is 2.5 years old and a history of MS. After having DS I could not get pregnant any longer (beforehand it was not super difficult but I kept miscarrying for unknown reasons). My AMH is 13.5 and no problems from my partner side. So in January I had my first cycle of IVF which went well, had 9 eggs collected, several fertilised but only 2 were good enough for implantation as 6 day blasts. BFP with a singleton pregnancy but sadly found out last night that that pregnancy stopped growing a week ago and no fetal heartbeat :-( now I am gutted ...
I feel at a crossroads, almost too old and tired to keep trying, not sure what to do. Physically exhausted, especially I have been ill since I got pregnant with a horrible cough and cold and been taking prendisolone which has not made me feel that great, I have put on a lot of weight ...just feeling overall run down. I am thinking maybe I should just try naturally ...or maybe try IVF one more time ...Or maybe it's time to stop and move on ...Any words of wisdom would be appreciated ...thanks


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## Greyhoundgal (Oct 7, 2013)

Hi Daisy

First off so sorry to read of your losses most especially your recent one   It's never easy to pick yourself up again after this and a miscarriage can leave you feeling very run down   Hope you've got a good armoury of supplements to help build you up again and you're eating well?

With ivf, I think the hardest thing to know is how many times to go or when to stop.....and it really is a personal thing. Your amh is good for your age so you probably still have a good reserve of OE to try with. The most important thing will be quality both of your eggs and DH sperm. Even if his sperm tests are normally good it's worth him having a DNA fragmentation test on a sample as this can effect your embryo development.  Going back to the ivf, I think stats suggest that you need to be prepared to do at least 3 rounds to be successful and at our age that could be a lot more   so it's a personal question of how much you can mentally, physically, emotionally And financially afford to go through it. It's a hard slog that's for sure.....we have had two rounds and just about to do an FET. If that doesn't work, we are gearing up for another fresh cycle in May.

I'm sure you've done lots of research about helping your own eggs out and if not, a good book to start with is Rebecca Fett's "it starts with the egg" which is sensible and accessible and doesn't tell you to take every vitamin under the sun  taking some supplements won't do you any harm in ttc naturally and if you are very run down now would probably be a good idea anyway. Are you taking a tonic like Floradix too?

No-one can tell you whether it's time to stop.  You need a good clinic who will support you (but also not encourage you to keep going at a point where there really isn't any hope) and I guess you and DH need to decide where you draw the line   Why not take a couple of months off now to regroup, get well and enjoy family life and then see where you're at?

Thinking of you  

Grey xxx


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## Daisy1972 (Nov 11, 2011)

Hi Grey, 

Thank you so much for your kind response. You have nailed it, I have been thinking about your words all afternoon. It's a really tough call - knowing when to continue and when to stop ...I guess I am worried about being a mom that is too old, too tired...putting my life on hold for yet another indefinite time. The longing for another baby is certainly there, the stamina to put myself through this I am not sure at this stage. But I might think differently in a month time.

And I will get the book, I tend to eat healthily in general but it's worth checking out other stuff, I read the 'fertility diet' I wonder if it's along the same lines.

Good luck with your frozen embryo transfer, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Sending best wishes, Daisy


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## Greyhoundgal (Oct 7, 2013)

Hi Daisy

It's a pleasure - the forum is all about support and getting things off your chest in a safe place  So if I've helped at all then I'm glad  the Rebecca Fett book is a step up from Sarah Dobbyn's fertility diet in my mind. I've read both. I think Sarah Dobbyn's piled a whole load of info into one book but I think Rebecca Fett's is a bit more scientific....you'll see what I mean 

Have you had a good hunt around the forum for supportive threads? These are some which might help you as a starter for six:

Over 40s success

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=59854.0

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=331135.0

Over 40s what do to after a bfn

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=332759.0

And if you like alternative therapies this is a great board for info:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=14.0

Hope you start to feel more like yourself soon 

Grey xx


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## Daisy1972 (Nov 11, 2011)

Thanks so much Grey again, I have now bought the book and will be taking int easy for a few days. I am also having a look at the threads you have put here. Thanks for your support and good luck with your treatment, I wish you all the best.
Daisy x


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