# Newbie... Looking to be a first time Surrogate, any advice would be great.



## sars3dd (Jan 31, 2011)

Hi everyone, as the title says i am new to this site.  Got put in this direction from a friend.  
I am a 24yrs old married mum to 3 lovely girls (5,3 and nearly 2). They were all prem but my GP and hospital have said i can easily go term without any issues.  I have always wanted to be a surrogate since i was about 15.  At that age i never wanted my own children but when i fell pregnant at 18 it felt right.  I now know my family is complete and my husband has had an vascetomy.  Now my youngest is about to turn 2 i now feel ready to take this Journey into helping another couple feel how i feel every day i look at my girls.  

I just dont know where to star....... any advice would be great.  i know about cots etc but where really is best to join?  I just dont like agencies taking alot of money of IP's so want to pick carefully.. where has everyone else used??  How have people found the journey?

Thanks,Sarah xxxx


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## tisonlyme (Aug 6, 2010)

can't give you much advice i'm afraid as i am an ip.
Just want to say, welcome to the site and well done for wanting to help other people
x


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## sars3dd (Jan 31, 2011)

Hiya, i have a feeling i have "met" you on another site (SarahMcCabe).

Thank you for saying hi, its always scary being the new one xx


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## mummyof4 (Feb 1, 2011)

i cant help much either im a future IP , is does take alot of strength and it is such a beautiful gift to give someone, welcome on here   x


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## sars3dd (Jan 31, 2011)

My daughters have all been ill since last tuesday and i am exhausted with it all but i look at them when they sleep and i just feel so much love for them.  the tantrums, the illnesses, the "its not far i hate you" when i take my 5yr olds DS off her is all worth it.  
If i can give someone else that feeling then i have done something to be proud of. 

x


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## mummyof4 (Feb 1, 2011)

that made me   . you have your ups and downs with children, mine are 5, 8, 11 and my angel who wud be 3 this year they are hard work but all the good times with them out way the bad ones, except i lost my womb in 2008 and at the same time my son, i feel my family aint complete hench the reason im here   . good luck in choosing the right woman to carry for its a gr8 gift x


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## sars3dd (Jan 31, 2011)

I really hope your find your surrogate soon, you have been through a very tough time and deserve some final happiness in your life.  Hope your wait isnt a long one.  xx


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## mummyof4 (Feb 1, 2011)

thankyou


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## TP.C (Aug 29, 2010)

Hi Sars 

Firstly, on behalf of us IPs, thank you for wanting to do this   I cannot express how in awe I am of people such as yourself who want to to help couples achieve their dream of becoming a family. 

As well as COTS which you mentioned, there's also SUK which is the organisation DH and I are members of. We've found them very helpful and supportive, and their philosophy is the importance of building a friendship before embarking on helping a couple (something we find very postive  ) We were lucky enough to meet the wonderful J on here and she's now joined SUK as well; it's just reassuring to have some guidance and support along the way because it's a tricky journey!

Wherever you head, I hope you find some IPs who you click with and you're able to move through the surrogacy experience smoothly and positively  Please feel free to PM me if you think I can help further.

TP xx


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## Viola (Sep 12, 2007)

Hi Sarah,


We had our beautiful daughter through surrogacy last year. We are members of SUK and that's where we met our lovely surrogate. We have a very good ongoing friendship with our surrogate and all her family and still see them regularly. We found SUK to be very friendly and supportive.


I would have a good look at the websites for SUK and COTS and also speak to the surrogates who run the helpline/information line.


Good luck with it all. 


Viola x


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## tisonlyme (Aug 6, 2010)

Hia sarah,
I did wonder if it was yourself.
Speak soon
x


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## sars3dd (Jan 31, 2011)

Thank you ladies for the info on SUK.  Going to have a good look tonight once i get my girls in bed.  They are currently watching Tom and Jerry before bath and bed.  They are a bit scared of the wind and rain to poor things.  

I do agree building a friendship is such an important thing to do.  Its nice to be on here and see some success stories and know that the community is very helpful to each other.  I was honestly worried it wouldnt be like that at all.  

Sarah xxx


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## nostalgicsam (Jul 1, 2005)

Hi Sarah,
welcome and what a wonderful thing to want to do for someone, we're all very supportive of each other and are all at diff stages of journies, I have twins via surrogacy so have been through it and am always happy to help support others be they IP's or Surros and provide advice where possible.  As mentioned there are plenty of places to find out more information and ask qustions, a lot of us are members at one or more or all of these places too LOL so we can all help and advise 

Do read as much as possible and feel free to pm me
Sam
x


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## sars3dd (Jan 31, 2011)

Hi Sam,
such lovely news about your twins.  You must feel so blessed.  

I have been reading like crazy, so much to take in xx


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## nostalgicsam (Jul 1, 2005)

I am very very blessed my girls are my world 

There is a lot to take in when you first begin to look into surrogacy as both a surrogate and an IP; the more you find out and learn the easier it will become, promise  Do you know if you'd like to do host or straight surrogacy? Anyway as I said any questions feel free to ask 
x


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## sars3dd (Jan 31, 2011)

It is getting easier every day and the more i read.  

I would be happy with either host or straight.  Years ago before i had kids of my own i used to think there was no way i could do straight surrogacy but after having children of my own i know the joy it brings so i would be happy to do it for the right IP's 

x


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## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

What an amazing lady you are.
We now have our son through straight surrogacy with my brothesr partner  , the most amazing woman in our lives  , she has changed our lives for ever, we could never tell her what she means to us, she has made our dreams come true, love her to bits.

I am sure you will find the right IP's, and you will know when you have found the right ones, something just clicks 

Thank you for doing this for someone, for trying to make their dreams come true, its takes very special people to do this  

Love Jo
x x x


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## sars3dd (Jan 31, 2011)

Thank you for your kind words Jo.  I just feel its such a natural thing to do for someone else.  I know my fmaily is complete (3 girls is enough to send anyone crazy haha) so the time feels right.

So lovely to here your success story. You really did find someone special.  Really happy for you xxx


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## pookchop (Aug 24, 2010)

Hi  Sarah

I just want to say well done for making this decision.  You and your family will be very proud.  We are going through surrogacy at the moment and I can't tell you how our surrogate has changed our lives and we will be eternally gratefull.  We are still at the early stages of pregnancy though but at last we have hope.  The only thing I would say is that you need to make a decision about whether you will donate your own eggs or not.  There are pros and cons of both of course but I think it is something you need to think very carefully about. 

TInyP - I met you last summer at the SUK picnic  - congratulations on finding a surrogate.  I really hope it all works out for you both.  This is fantastic news - you guys will make a lovely family together.

lots of love
xxxx


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## nostalgicsam (Jul 1, 2005)

sars3dd said:


> It is getting easier every day and the more i read.
> I would be happy with either host or straight. Years ago before i had kids of my own i used to think there was no way i could do straight surrogacy but after having children of my own i know the joy it brings so i would be happy to do it for the right IP's
> x


that's a lovely way of looking at it 



sars3dd said:


> Thank you for your kind words Jo. I just feel its such a natural thing to do for someone else. I know my fmaily is complete (3 girls is enough to send anyone crazy haha) so the time feels right.
> So lovely to here your success story. You really did find someone special. Really happy for you xxx


and I thought 2 girls was enough to send anyone crazy  3 lil cherubs how sweet


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## sars3dd (Jan 31, 2011)

I am not looking forward to the teenage fights over hair straighteners, make up and clothes lol. 

I have decided am more than happy to be a straight surrogate.  And i am even looking at donating my eggs to.  

and Congratulations POOKCHOP, you must be over the moon.  Its such a lovely thing. x


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## TP.C (Aug 29, 2010)

Thank you for the lovely message pookchop - we feel very lucky to even have got this far!! Huge congrats on the pregnancy - everything crossed that it all goes smoothly! xxx


Sars - I can't say it enough, it's a wonderful wonderful thing to want to do xx


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## Viola (Sep 12, 2007)

Just to say our daughter is the result of straight surrogacy and I think being a straight surro is a very, very special and wonderful thing to do.
Viola x


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## pookchop (Aug 24, 2010)

I couldn't agree more.  I surrogate is my Christmas Angel!   And you will be that angel for someone someday soon and change their lives forever


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## sars3dd (Jan 31, 2011)

thank you for the kind words.  it just feels all so natural for me xx


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