# Finally plucked up courage!



## Prunes (May 14, 2006)

Hi,

I have finally plucked up the courage (and sorted out the technology) to join FF, after several years of browsing threads as a guest! My journey has simply reached the point where I can't go it alone any longer  

My DH and I have been ttc for about 5 years. We discovered early on that DH had a very low sperm count, and were told it would be a miracle for us to conceive naturally. We were both devastated, but amazed when the very next month we discovered I was pregnant - it seemed we had achieved the impossible! But sadly, after an early scan had revealed a heartbeat, a short while later I had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks. After a D&C I was left in a lot of pain, and following a laproscopy and hysteroscopy was told nothing was wrong! Six months later (still in pain) I was found to have a large ovarian cyst (size of a tennis ball) and had an ovarian cystectomy.

It was after all this, that we started the IVF roller coaster!  We have now had numerous treatment cycles including 5 ICSI, 1 FET and a DIUI at various clinics (Guys, London Fertility Centre & Tunbridge Wells Nuffield) - all disappointingly resulting in BFN's 

The sense of bewilderment and sadness we both feel, is simply overwhelming - as we just so desperately want to be parents. We have a wonderful marriage - thank God - as I think without each other (and our ability to make each other laugh) we would have both gone bonkers 

We have reached a crossroads now - as with 4 frosties, we so badly want to do something that might make a difference and answer our prayers! During every cycle I get very bad cramping post ET (sometimes the day of ET/insemination or from day 1). I usually bleed early during 2ww - getting a feeling that my body simply wants to explode with the sense that I am desperate to come 'on'. I don't know if anyone else experiences this?? In all my guest browsing - I only seem to read about people getting AF type pains from day 4 or 5 - not as early as me. I am worried these might be signs of NK cells - which might explain why my body seems desperate to expel the embryos so quickly? I am seeing Dr ******* tomorrow to have the NK blood tests.

Being a complete IVF-info-junkie - I am desperate for any pointers or help on what best to do next!! And I guess, above all, some support to keep chasing our dream...


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## emma.b (Mar 27, 2006)

Hi Prunes,

Just wanted to welcome you to FF. Glad you decided to post as you will get lots of advice and support on here. You have been through such alot. I don't know anything about NK cells, but if there is a test you can have to determine whether this is affecting you, I think it's definately worth having.

Good luck on your journey

Emma x


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi prunes and welcome to the site and for sharing your story with us - all i can say is u poor thing i dont know how u have stayed so strong but u will get so much support on here

Kate


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## CM01 (Jan 4, 2006)




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## AmandaB1971 (Feb 19, 2006)

Hi Prunes

Welcome to FF as a member finally!! 

I'm sure if you've been browsing round for a few years you'll have realised this is a great place to go and get information and support!  We do manage a few laughs along the way also! 

You've been sooooo brave already to have experienced everything you have and still be fighting!  I'm a novice at all this I'm afraid, still waiting for my first ICSI experience, so i feel humbled by your experience and certainly can't offer you any advice (I dont have any, I'm thick   in the world of Fertility!!)

Good Luck and Positive Vibes whatever you do next ..  

Love

Amanda x


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## Andee (Feb 23, 2006)

HI Prunes

Reading your story made me so sad for you and your DH. 

I dont know anything about the NK tests but I hope you get the news you want.

IVF is such a journey, all the support you can get makes it a wee bit easier.  Keep trying, the end result will be worth every investigation, blood test, sweat, tears and trauma.  Never give up until you feel its the right thing, if you have a supportive  and wonderful DH, you have more than many people and keep positive. ( difficult , I know). 

You have been through so much, make time for each other and dont let the whole process take over  your lives completely.  If you want something bad enough, it will happen....and when it does it will be chersihed and loved and the heartache will be worth it.

I do hope everything works out for you.  

Take care
Love
Andee
xxxx


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## shara (Jan 31, 2006)

haia prunes and welcome,

My heart goes out to you, you have been through so much . I don't know about NK im sorry, have you tried typing it into the search at the top of the page?  

I hope that now that you have joined the forum you will get the support you need. FF as you know is excellent in every way 

sending some    to you, take care and best wishes  Shara


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## Chezza W (May 14, 2006)

Hi there

I too have just plucked up the courage to join (yesterday). Already the support I have had is great and certainly helps.

You have been through so much - you must be a very strong person, luckily you have a supportive husband (I also do too and it helps so much)

Wishing you well and fingers crossed for your next treatment.

Love Chezza


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## atticus (May 12, 2006)

helloooo,
I just wanted to say hang on in there..
I'm also a newby and just joined this week and since then have been grappling with the technology..
everyone seems very friendly and supportive..

Hope youfind it as useful as I am 

Take care and sending you lots of hope...

X atti


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## Prunes (May 14, 2006)

Wow - it is simply amazing to log on this morning and read so many messages of support - it is an enormous help just not to feel like a 'Billy-no-mates' during this long journey. I have distanced myself from so many of my friends over the last few years, as I have felt like I just don't belong to the special club of 'motherhood'. I know many people try to be sensitive, but until you are standing in our shoes, you simply don't have a clue!

I know DH and I will never give up - we feel being parents is part of our destiny and by hook or by crook we're determined to get there - whether that's through IVF, adoption ...!

I had my blood tests with Dr Shehahta yesterday, results in 2 weeks, so hopefully we might have some more info soon to help make our frozen embies stick this time!!!
x 
Luv
Prunes
x


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## Moo (May 15, 2006)

Finally realised...

...we're two saddo's!

Msg back and also, talk/text tomorrow if we don't speak tonight.

x


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## Prunes (May 14, 2006)

Hi Moo,

Good to see you've joined  

I am going to try and be really good 2nite and go down the gym - as shamefully what with drugs, EC, ET and 2ww I have been very lazy!!

The one side effect I haven't yet got from my Metformin is WEIGHT LOSS   - and on Dr *******'s advice I have upped the dosage to 2 x tablets, twice a day! I will undoubtedly soon be super-model-slim!

Luv Prunes
xxx


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## Ladyplops (Apr 27, 2006)

Hi Prunes,

Glad you posted.

I really for you and am so pleased that you have a good DH.  I cant give you any advice as my journey is different but just wanted to send you a big dollop of luck!

Lady
x


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## Prunes (May 14, 2006)

Hi Ladyplops,

Thanx for the dollop of luck - really feel like I need it at this stage!

I hope your dreams come true too    I imagine the 'unexplained' route is equally frustrating and saddening! We all just want answers and clear options that will give us those longed for babies.

Love,
Prunes
xx


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## Ladyplops (Apr 27, 2006)

Hiya Prunes,

I must admit that 'unexplained' does get my goat and I feel that it should be re-named 'not quiet sure what your problem is' sometimes but I'm sure my time will come.

Here's wishing that u get ur dream too huney!

Ladyplops
x


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## Prunes (May 14, 2006)

Ladyplops - know what you mean - my DH and I don't refer to ourselves as 'infertile' - we tell clinics we are 'Fertility-challenged'!!



Luv
Prunes
xxx


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## kia 06 (Apr 3, 2006)

Prunes
Great to see you plucked up the courage to join FF. 
I'm sure you wont be disappointed, everyone is so nice here and so helpful.
You and DH have been through so much already . Stay strong .

 and i hope you get your dream very soon.

Sending you lots of    

loads of luck to you and DH.

kia.


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