# What age did you start/enquire about iui?



## Jay_Mcevil (Nov 2, 2008)

Hi

Having only just had my consultation meetng and not really came out feeling as happy as i expected to be i thought id seek some advice from other who are going throught the same as myself. i am completly new to this, so appologies if i am posting where i shouldent be!!

My situation is this: I am 27 years old, i have not been in a relationship for about 3 years. i have no interest in being in another relationship and i am happily getting on with my day to day activities.as far as i am aware, i have no known fertility problems. after giving it serious consideration and discussing it with my family i looked into DI or IUI. ive waited months for my 1st consultation at ninewells hozzie and almost drove myself crazy looking at hundreds of websites.

I had my 1st meeting on thursday and it dident really go to plan. my Dr made it clear straight away that she had concerns about my age, she reckons that 27 is too young to start thinking about starting a family and wants me to speak to a councellor in another months time before she will consider me for treatment. i have no issues with speaking with a councellor but im not sure that it will help my case as my dr seemed extremly doubtfull that the multidiciplinery team would approve me. she also stated that it is unlikley that they could find a donor for me in under 3 years....thats not really the kind of timescale i was looking at.
needless to say, my 1.5hr drive home from dundee wasent a happy one....im not sure what other options i will have if ninewells reject me, will other clinics do the same?

i am interested to hear if there are any of you out there who are ages with me or younger that have faced similar negativity.

Thanx

Joanne


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I was 36-7 when I started on this TTC myself, I now feel I left it too late.  As your fertility takes a nose dive at 35, 38 and then 40 - where I am now.
3 yrs seem a long time to getting donor sperm and the girls on here have imported or gone to some of the clinics where there are better supplies.
It may be your GP's view, I never went to the GP, just self referred.  I did have an Asian lasy GP who at 30 said that she refused to prescribe me the Pill anymore as I should be having children at my age or else shouldn't be having sex- maybe your GP is also expressing their personal views
Good luck
l x


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## Roo67 (Feb 12, 2007)

Hi and welcome to our world  

I was 37/8 when I started on this journey and am now 41, 8 IUI's, 3 donor embryo transferrs with 2 m/c and still without a baby  

Most of the ladies on her are mid 30's to early 40's and I'm sure most of us would say that we left it too late. I was thinking about it when i was your age and joking about going it alone, never thinking i would actually need to and that i would have met someone and started a family by the time I was 30 (ish)

No-one has the right to say that you are too young - i think seeing a counsellor is a good idea (I did) and they will help you explore your own thoughts and feelings etc etc, they are not there to judge just to help you ensure you have thought of everything.

Are you seeking treatment on the NHS ?? as non of us on here have managed to get any funding and are all paying privately, so we get seen and treated a lot quicker. The majority of private clinics will treat single women. As for 3 years for donor sperm, I've not hear of anyone waiting that long.

Good luck for your journey - would love to hear how you got on

roo xx


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## Jay_Mcevil (Nov 2, 2008)

Im sorry to hear that you havent had any success so far.


I knew that i would have to wait alot longer for treatment on the nhs so i have opted to go private. i have only been in touch with ninewells hospital so far as it is the most conveniently located for me.

the dr told me that the shortest wait a couple has had to wait there for donor sperm was 1 year and because i was a single person with no known fertility issues i would be given less of a priority self funding or otherwise.


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Welcome Jay

I have to say - I'm not sure that your GP is fully understanding to be honest.   You don't need his or her say so in anyway. Some clinics/hospitals like to have a GP referral but many don't. I've never asked for GP referral as I didn't want to have to explain my reasons to anybody. If you do manage to get NHS funding you will be the only one of us that does I'm afraid. If you're paying privately for treatment then under no circumstances should you be discriminated against in terms of your age and status. You shouldn't have to wait longer.

I honestly think it sounds as though your GP was just trying to put you off and thats not really acceptible  . 
I didn't start ttc until my mid 30's and dearlt wish I'd started earlier.
You're more than capable of knowing that the time is right for you to be a mum  

Good luck   

Love

Emma x


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## Jay_Mcevil (Nov 2, 2008)

The problem wasent my own GP, he was fantastic and referred me to the ACU at ninewells without a problem.

the negativity i got was at my consultation with the dr at ninewells. i waited so long to finally speak with someone, who in the end was seriously trying to out me off and made me feel like crap for even thinking about wasnting to start a family on my own.

ths however is just the 1st hurdle....there will be many more!


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Oh what a shame  . Are there any other hospitals/clinics you could go to? That is just SOO disappointing xxxx


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## Jay_Mcevil (Nov 2, 2008)

i will speak with the councellor and take it from there. if i have no success there i will look at other clinics.

if i can get examples of other clinics that do not discriminate due to ages then i can discuss this further when im there.


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Jay, 

I would echo what the others have said - if you know that this is what you want, don't let one consultant put you off. I started all this at 37, have had 3 IUI, 2 IVF, 1 FET and a miscarriage.....I can't help feel that if I'd started earlier, it would have been easier...and certainly it seems the younger girls (at least those with no known fertility problems) do seem to have more success more quickly (not scientific but based on what I've seen here on FF)

The sperm availability is a problem - you could look into importing but that can work out expensive and logistically complex - and you would need your clinic to support with the paperwork etc - which it sounds like yours might not. 
Clinics with plenty of sperm do tend to be in London which is a long way for you to travel. Winky has had tx in London (she's up near Edinburgh) - maybe PM her to get her experiences...am pretty sure LWC will treat you regardless of age and they have plenty of sperm...

I agree with Roo that seeing a counsellor can be a good idea, just to talk things through. Although by the time I saw a counsellor I was very clear that this was what I wanted and I had thought through all the issues and possible concerns etc. 

As I say, don't be put off by one consultant - if this is what you want, then go for it. 
Good luck, hope you find a more sympathetic clinic soon

Suitcase
x


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## ameliacooper (Aug 12, 2007)

Jay

I agree with the others - don't let one consultant put you off and hopefully they'll soon see how important it is to you and how ready you are!

I actually paid probably over £200 (can't even remember now) for two consultations (2nd one a follow up) at the London Fertility Clinic when I was almost 36.  I saw a Dr Hodgson and then went back for a few tests (more money) and put my name down on donor register and to this day have heard absolutely nothing back from them and it was probably over 18 months now!  I can' t believe that they still don't have any donor sperm!!

Anyway as you can see - events overtook things and I made my own arrangements.  What a waste of money!!!!

Axx


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## Jay_Mcevil (Nov 2, 2008)

thanx very much for the info, im definatly gonna have a ring around and see what the other clinics can offer. if i have to travel then so be it. 

while im at it, i will also make enquiries about egg sharing/donating and see if i can do that as part of my own treatment.


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## Lou-Ann (Apr 20, 2008)

Hi Jay, welcome to the group  

Sorry that you have had such a negative response from your consultant  . 
I am 31 and I am just at the beginning of my IUI journey with Birmingham Womens Hospital. I have my first appointment in a couple of weeks time, so I haven't faced any negativity yet (my GP was a little taken aback when I asked him for a referral, but he wasn't negative about it).  As for the counselling, I think that at BWH you are required to have one session, but as Roo said it can only help to talk things through.
Good luck with your journey  

Lou-Ann x


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## Jay_Mcevil (Nov 2, 2008)

Thanx Lou-ann

i am expecting things to go better with the counsellor, i guess i dident really know what to expect at 1st consultation.
i just hope it doesent drag on for months before knowing whether or not i will even be accepted for treatment.

if i can go into xmas knowing that 2009 could be my year then ill be very happy indeed!

All the best with your journey too, please let me kn ow how you get on!

Jay.


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## winky77 (Nov 27, 2007)

Hi Jay, 

Sorry to hear you've had such a poor experience at Ninewells. Have you tried GCRM as Aweeze mentioned?  I've not had treatment there as they had no donors when I started out on this but I have been having a fair few of my scans there for convenience and the nurses have certainly been very nice and no issues with being single.  I had a consultation there about a year ago and the Dr was a little thrown by the singles thing at the time but I think a year on he's had much more experience of this.  I also know they should have donors now cos they have been recruiting and promoting their sperm and egg share programmes. 

I have also seen some postive postings from singlies on other sites about Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. 

Good luck !! 

..Winky


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## Jay_Mcevil (Nov 2, 2008)

im having one of those manic weeks...finding it hard to find a spare few mins...but im gonna get my self all sorted at the weekend and work out who i need to phone.

im not sure that the problem im having at ninewells is the fact im single...i think its my age...that is what the consultant stated that she was "concerned" about


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## going it alone (Feb 11, 2006)

Hi, I went to my GP when I was 32 and he had concerns about my age. I told him that my mum was 31 when she had me and she never fell pg again and that I didn't want to wait any longer. He eventually was persuaded that I had given this enough thought and agreed to refer me. Thankfully for me my test results were good and things went well for me. Fertility is so linked to age that it seems unbelievable that a Dr would want you to wait, especially with a possible 3 year waiting list after starting again. My advice would be to persevere, change clinics if possible/necessary and generally look into all of your options. Best of luck and we're all her when you need us.

Sam x


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## Jay_Mcevil (Nov 2, 2008)

thanx very much for all your kind support.

bring on the end of the month!! appt is 27th. lets hope ill have a few better sleeps before then!


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## DitzyDoo (May 23, 2004)

Hi Jay
I'm 37 soon and I've been TTC for 8 years, first 6 years with exH, and now I;m single again I'm on my 2nd IUI. I defo wished I'd started in my 20's.

I found it difficult in UK with shortage of donors. the cost seems so high to me also i was quoted £4k for IUI, I used to pay that for ICSI!
Anyway have you thought about going abroad, it's so much easier as they dont have any donor sperm waiting list.
I've been to Reprofit at the Czech Republic, and they are great! you can fill on-line consultation out. IUI was 200 euro's, and flight were £100.
and from the first time I contacted them it was 3 weeks before I went out. I'm flying back out on Sunday for my 2nd go. 

I would definitely recommend it.

Hope you get something sorted.
Joe
x


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## Jay_Mcevil (Nov 2, 2008)

i think going abroad will be something id look into once ive exhaused options in the uk. ill stick with the **** regulated clinics and if i have no success there, then ill start to look further a field.

im quite interested to find out about importing sperm from abroad though. i spotted another post which menioned importing sperm from another clinic in america...their site looked quite good, but ill speak with ninewells to see whether they would import or not before i get my hopes up.

Good luck in Czech Rep Joe.


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## Prettybrowneyes (Nov 17, 2008)

Hi Peeps 

Just wanted to know how where I can find the stats on - 
how many woman have had a successfull live birth on their first attempt, their age and using which ART method?


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## cutelittlepumpkin (Nov 1, 2007)

Hi Ladies,

Sorry for crashing your board, but I thought I would mention my clinic treats single ladies and same-sex couples and has a fantanstic sperm bank, apparently the largest in the country!! I didn't ever have to wait to be matched just started our first cycle and then the embrologist called a few days before insem or EC (we had 5xDIUI and 2xISCI see my sig) and reads out a list of hair colour, eye colour, etc for potential donors for you and you just pick one, as easy as that! From first consult to first DIUI took 6 months, but we could have started sooner, just wanted Christmas out of the way first, we had first consult in Nov!

Anyway they have 4 clinics, so here is a link to there wedsite: http://www.lwclinic.co.uk/gen/lesbian_single.php

The site talks about treating single ladies and has a price list! And you can self refer, GP just has to sign a form to say they have no objections to your treatment! (Welfare of the child form).

We have always found them very friendly, helpful and professional!

Anyway good luck ladies!

CLP


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## Jay_Mcevil (Nov 2, 2008)

well its now about 5 months since my last post and i would like to say that i managed to get my problems at ninewells sorted out.
unfortunatly that hasent been the case. 2 days ago  recieved my rejection letter from them advising me that as i was only 27 and have not been in a relationship for only 2 years(it is actially more like 3 now) then it was perhaps too soon for me to consider DI. they would like to give me more time to consider. if i want to proceed with treatment, i have to ask my dr to refer me in another 2 years.
needless to say i am far from happy with ninewells. they want me to wait untill im 29/30 so i can wait on a 3 year waiting list to maybe one day start treatment with thier clinic. i dont think so.

im not sure where to proceed with ninewells. should i make a complaint directly to them? should i make a complint elsewhere(perhaps to the papers)? age discrimination is not tollerated in other aspects of society, why should it be the case here? i really dont know.

on a happier note, while ive been waiting this response from ninewells, i have been attending the Nuffield in glasgow. i have had my HSG, my AMH(which was 9.1....apparently this is low for my age, but im not sure how significant this result is) and my donor has been allocated. i am now on day 9 of my 1st cycle. ive had my clomid, gonal f and tomorrow im back in the unit for my day 10 scan. fingers crossed. all goes well tomorrow and ill have my HCG and then back in again for my IUI. im trying my best not to get my hopes up. but its just a case of wait and see now.

thanx for taking the time to read my rant....any advise would be fantastic


Joanne


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## Roo67 (Feb 12, 2007)

Hi joanne

Sorry that you had no joy with ninewells - were you persuing them on the NHS or privately.

Glad that you are now going ahead with the Nuffield - all the best for you scan and your first basting - a terrifying but exciting time.

R xx


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

Joanne all the best...
I also use GCRM as mentioned previously - not for treatment but for drugs and scans... although at first I wasn't impressed with them at all - they have greatly improved over the past couple of years - offered to put me on their donor egg wainting list without a bat of an eyelid!
All the best
mini x x


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