# IUI with Known Donor. Where to start?



## mynameisc (Mar 4, 2013)

Hi, just hit 40 and finally got the courage to try for a baby with a male friend who has kindly offered to donate. I was thinking of IUI rather than AI to increase my chances (because of my age) Was hoping to talk to someone who is/has been in a similar situation. So far I have asked my donor friend to take a semen analysis. I have also taken the fertility tests (female hormones) which look okay. Right now, I need to decide where to have the IUI (Here in London? Abroad?) and also how to get my donor's sperm ready for the IUI. Many thanks & wish everyone luck & lots of courage!


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## askingquestions (Feb 16, 2013)

As far as I know, you can conceive here in London through a clinic. The process of conceiving through a clinic in the UK, with a private donor, legally severs the man's status as father and transforms him into a donor. making a biological father a donor means that he looses all rights to the child, but also all obligations ie he legally will have no financial or other responsibilities. I have no idea if this holds if you are outside the UK but I believe not. you will need to check this out before deciding whether to go abroad.

if it is important for you to maintain sole parental responsibility for the child then a UK clinic route is the route you need to go. ditto if the man you are conceiving with only wants to be a donor and does not want to have any further legal or financial responsibilities. if you conceive informally at home the donor will legally be the father (even if you don't put him on the birth certificate). he could be liable for child support and he could also claim access.

Be aware, that there has been a recent legal challenge by a known donors, with the rights of a father who is legally a donor but has had some contact with the child when it's young, potentially trumping the 'donor' status.

Also, it's probably good to look into the legalities of known donors further: the natalie gamble website has a page on what to take into consideration when using a known donor e.g. setting out a contract before hand to make sure that you are all on the same page. http://www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk/page/knowndonor/16/

/links


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## askingquestions (Feb 16, 2013)

Apparently this whole legal father mularkey is more complicated than I thought.  Here's an extract from the web page I quoted before: 

Will I be the legal father?
Where you donate to a couple and your recipients are treated as the legal parents, you are not the legal father.  The rules are complicated, but generally speaking you are not treated as the legal father if you donate to:
A married couple, as long as you conceive artificially, whether at home or at a clinic, and both spouses consent
A civil-partnered lesbian couple after 6 April 2009, as long as you conceive artificially, whether at home or at a clinic, and both partners consent
An unmarried couple (or non-civil partnered lesbian couple), if your recipients conceive with your sperm at a licensed clinic and both sign the relevant HFEA parenthood forms
A couple who later adopt the child.
In other cases (including donation to a single woman, donation to a lesbian couple before 6 April 2009 and donation through intercourse), you are treated as the legal father. 

People mistakenly believe that, if you donate through a licensed clinic and sign the relevant HFEA consent forms to donation, your parental status as a donor is automatically excluded.  That might be the case, but the law is complex, particularly if you intend any ongoing role in your child's life.


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## mynameisc (Mar 4, 2013)

Thanks, my donor has proposed to draft a contract so we are both on the same page there. Does anyone have a template we could use?
Have to say though, my post was more about the IUI process and sperm preparation, rather than legal considerations. Any advice on the next steps would be appreciated. Thanks!


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## askingquestions (Feb 16, 2013)

If you were in the US you could buy IUI ready sperm and have it delivered to your house.  This is not a possiblity in the UK.  I believe that to have IUI ready sperm it has to be treated in some way, that is only available to clinics.  I remember seeing the teaspoon worth of IUI ready sperm before it was put into my body and it was pinkish and clear and resembled nothing that's come out of any man that I have ever met!  I think you need to do IUI through a clinic as the  equipment you need would be things like a variable speed centrifuge and special chemicals....


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I have a known donor I would get him to also have basic std tests free at a GUM clinic  as well. If u are going for IUI at a clinic they will want to quarantine his sperm -clinics used to treating single women and known donors and have good iui tesults for older women -ie 40 +- the Lister has v good results for older women in London other top clinics include  CRGH, Zita west have an excellent consultant from Nottingham. Go for an initial appt to see if it is for you. We started off at the Bridge but I wouldn't recommend them.good luck


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## mynameisc (Mar 4, 2013)

Thanks JJ1, will keep posted. Have a lovely week!


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Hi Myna
you can use a clinic whether or not he will have parental responsibility.
If he will, you do a counselling session together and treatment can start much sooner, as the clinic won't have to keep his sperm in quarantine for 6 months.
Best of luck, whatever you decide! x


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