# Surrogacy General Chat



## Nattee

Hi! I was wandering if anyone can give me any information on a host surrogate, being someone we know? After looking in to it and speaking with some agencies, we just feel we, personally, would be more comfortable doing this with someone we already know. And luckily, we may have someone willing! We are looking to use our own egg/sperm.

My questions are... if its a friend or relative how do you start the process? Can you start the process An agency told me they would need something in writing from a GP/Specialist to confirm i can not carry my own child (which is not a problem),  but does that apply in this case? Is it a case of making an appointment with a clinic? If so alone or with surrogate?? Is this something most clinics do or would you be looking at specialist ones? 

I have been looking in to this some time now and still i find myself lost with where to begin! I feel if we went through an agency we would have guidance but as we have chose not to, I'm lost!

Thank you in advance to anyone that can help me  x


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## NatGamble

Hi Nattee


At Brilliant Beginnings we provide a Surrogacy Support service for parents working with a surrogate they already know.  It's basically the same service we provide for supporting surrogacy but without the initial matching.  We help you through the process and all the steps involved from start to finish, including helping you with your fertility treatment, counselling, legal advice, practical help, putting an agreement in place, dealing with the pregnancy and birth etc.  Feel free to give us a call if you want to discuss.  


Legally, there is nothing you 'have' to do at the outset, because the legal process follows after the birth.  We have worked with lots of parents in family/friend surrogacy  arrangements and they work absolutely brilliantly.  So don't think you're alone!


Natalie


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## Dimble

Hi Nattee,

I'm currently a host surrogate for family 

I didn't need anything, other than a referral from my GP to the IP's chosen fertility clinic. The IP's self-referred if I remember rightly, and then we had initial consultations separately (I can't remember if it _had_ to be done separately though). We then had counselling (separately) at the clinic, and it then had to be passed by the ethics committee based on the consultant and counselor's reports. Another thing that the clinic did insist on is that legal advice was sought, although we didn't each have to get legal advice, they were happy for the IP's to do that and for them to then just share that advice with my Husband and I (although other clinics may work differently).

I hope that I've been of some help x


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## lil stephy

Hi Im looking for a bit of advice, since having my daughter 3yrs ago I've had 3 failed cycles for some reason my embryos don't want to hold on now and it's heart breaking, so me and my partner are looking at other options and we have talked about maybe looking for a surragate, well my sister has always said she would carry for me so we have someone that is willing, we do know me and partner produce good quaility embryos so we would want to use our own embryos still, but we don't understand about after the baby is born who has legal rights ect as it would be mine and my partners biological child but just carried by a host. It's all so confusing really. 

Also when starting this process do we just pay for the Ivf cycle like normal but obviously pay for my host to be synced with me ready to recieve my embryos?? 

Sorry for all the questions but the information is not easy to get as we don't want to use an agency 

Thank u for reading xxx


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## Dory10

Hello everyone

Here is the new home of Surrogacy General Chat 

Please take a moment to have a read of the posting guidelines here http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=260253.0

Happy chatting

Dory xxx
Surrogacy Board Moderator


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## BobbiH

Ukraine is fast becoming a popular destination for surrogacy and for good reason. The prices there are significantly lower there than in USA and there are some clinics over there doing great work with foreign patients. 

There are many benefits to going for surrogacy in Ukraine, the main one being that the surrogate doesn't maintain parental rights over the child. The parentage is based on DNA connection between the baby and intended parent. Also surrogates must meet various health requirements set by the Ukrainian ministry of health.


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## Kirsty_H88

Hi, my names Kirsty I'm 28 years old & a mother to 3 beautiful children. My sister recently went through surrogacy & gave birth to beautiful baby boy to an amazing couple. Since going through this process with her & seeing the joy at the end of it I have decided this is something I would love to do myself. I am currently looking through forums & searching the Internet at all the options & would love to hear anyone's story's. From what I understand the best option for me would be gestational surrogacy. I will look forward to hearing from anyone X


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## BobbiH

No not at all. All the conflict is happening in the south east of Ukraine. The capital Kiev where most of the clinics are based is completely safe and you wouldn't even notice that there is a war going on in the country. 

I can assure you Ukraine is not the third world country you have in mind. They have state of the art clinics and provide excellent service to their clients. This is why its a popular destination for EU citizens. 

The medical requirements are that there must be no drug or alcohol abuse. She must have had at least one child through natural birth before. Be free of diseases which can be passed to the child. Be of a sound mental state and also can't be financially desperate.


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## BobbiH

I haven't been there personally no, but I have seen pictures of various clinics and they're not what you may expect from Ukraine. It can be difficult to find a surrogate, especially when you try to do it independently. That's why its better to go with an agency/clinic as they facilitate everything. 

It takes around a year from start to finish, not that long at all really. 

Well I don't know how they all work but one clinic I know of gathers a list of surrogates and then narrows the list down to three, then intending parents then choose which one and start the process.


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## scottsmrs

Hi there, I know this is a real long shot but are there any traditional surrogates on here?


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## woopotato

Hi all, I registered here in 2013 when I began considering surragacy seriously. At the time though my husband did not consent to my choice and so it went on the back burner.

Ive since been separated for nearly 2 years and my current children are of an age where they will understand what I'm doing and I would like to consider it again.

However I have no thyroid after removal for hyperthyroidism and as a result take daily thyroxine and have check ups and blood work done twice a year. Is this a barrier to successful surragacy?

I conceived both my children quickly and had no problems during pregnancy whilst I was still hyperthyroid although did have extra consultant checks throughout. I have obviously since had the thyroid removed, but I was allowed to donate eggs after this as long as my thyroid levels were in healthy range and stable. 

So my main question is will my health condition rule me out for surragacy by the fertility clinics, and by intended parents?


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## Mihrimah

Hi everyone,

After some disappointment with egg donation and due to having a history of complex medical problems I have decided to look into surrogacy. I am interested in straight surrogacy (using the eggs of the donor and my husband's sperm) as I don't have any eggs left (even though I am only 3 and it is more straightforward and cost efficient as it won't require a difficult ivf procedure. However I was surprised to see that this is not offered in many clinics. What I was able to find so far are clinics offering gestational surrogacy even if you are using donor eggs.

Does anyone know of any clinic who does offer the straight surrogacy option? It could be anywhere really, Georgia, Greece, Ukraine... I have just started looking but this is very disheartening...


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## Sueralph

Hi 
My name is Sue I currently live in Paris but am UK born, have two wonderful children and have been thinking about how to help someone who cannot have children by being a surrogate for them. 
Can anyone suggest the best way of helping someone?  Is it prudent to have a solicitor involved at the outset to help me? 

Would love some responses 

Thank you 

Sue x


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## windslight

Hi everyone, I am new in the forum and are now trying to find a surrogacy program.

Anybody can help tell me what does the following abbreviations means in this forum? Thanks in advance.

DH:                        
ICSI
BFP
BFN
ER
ET
TTC


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## bundles

Hi and Welcome 

The abbreviations can be found here:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=190482.msg2945198#msg2945198 
Along with other info & FAQ for newbies:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=190482.msg2945198#msg2945198
If you need any more help, just shout !!

Bundles x


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## windslight

bundles said:


> Hi and Welcome
> 
> The abbreviations can be found here:
> http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=190482.msg2945198#msg2945198
> Along with other info & FAQ for newbies:
> http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=190482.msg2945198#msg2945198
> If you need any more help, just shout !!
> 
> Bundles x


Thanks very much for your information!


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## NatGamble

Hi Sue

What a lovely thing you are thinking of doing. A solicitor can't support you with the practical side of surrogacy (only give legal advice) and I'd suggest you contact one of the UK's surrogacy agencies for information and support on how to be a surrogate. I co-own Brilliant Beginnings which is the only agency to include independent legal advice from a solicitor for all their surrogates (as well as professional counselling and a lot of other support). COTS and Surrogacy UK are the other two UK agencies. All are run on a non profit basis and aim to support parents and surrogates with smooth successful surrogacy journeys.

Natalie


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## XXXsunshineXXX

hello to you!
i'm in the same state as you...i was thinking about straight surrogacy in the past too.
but after a meeting with the law agency that i pick i'm convinced for the opposite!
And the main reason...?
I do not want to have future problems with the surrogate mother. That would be a stressful think.
If i choose to take eggs from the s.m. then the child its hers! so may she have psychological problems after the birth.
And in one way may i understand her  
After she have to sign some law papers, i do not know exactly right now!, with her name as mother in one way and i did not like that also!  
This is may reasons. So i decided to go the other way!!! More clear and more typical. Also this  is the reason that i may decide to go in Greece.
Cause there the Donor in anonymous by law! Crystal clear that way. No problems at all.
i hope i was helpful to you.


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## dizzydaisy

Hi all hope you're all well. 
We're in the same boat as you guys- looking into surrogacy as intended parents. We've been trying for 10 years now and I've had a few natural pregnancies sadly ending in miscarriage, and also IVF treatment which again sadly ended in miscarriage. I've now reached 40 and I feel like it's now or never for us. There is no explaination as to why our beautiful babies couldn't be born. We're desperately looking for a special lady to help us to bring our little one safely into the world. I've looked at the agencies and surrogacy UK seems very friendly and welcoming, but it seems like it has huge membership and therefore I'm
Worried that we may end up lost within the crowd. COTS has closed its books for the time being.
I just don't know which way to turn really- honestly if we are lucky enough to meet someone who could help carry out precious little one we'd want to ensure they had all the support possible. 
Any ideas guys? Really we can't afford to go to those fancy clinics in the states etc and we'd love to have a UK surrogate to ensure their welfare etc. 
I guess I just can't give up that there might be a little ray of hope somewhere out there.


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## XXXsunshineXXX

i wish you the best dear friend. this is a long and scary road i know. but the wish and hope of a baby will bring you hope and light.
i have a few months now that i begin the search and I'm in the middle of a arrangement. if you want me to share my details please feel free
to send me a message!
wish you the best

Edited by mod to remove unnecessary quoting


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## dizzydaisy

Thank you sunshine. Yes it would be nice if you could share your experience. I will PM you. Thank you so much x


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## XXXsunshineXXX

if we can help one another we will become stronger!
i always believed in the human power and even more
if we deal the same problems/worries in life!
thank you for the PM and i hope i helped.


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## DaisyMaisy

Hi, we have twins born through surrogacy in Ukraine.  The clinic were fab. They house the surrogate in a flat (fully paid fir) near the maternity hospital from 20 weeks to cut down on travelling  (scans every 2 weeks). The process was also very quick! We had our initial consultation in the Feb, and our surrogate was pg by may. Xxx


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## dizzydaisy

Hi Daisy
Thanks for your response and sharing your experience. Wow that was quick and can I just say many congratulations to you with having your twins. That must be the best thing in the world!! I'm trying to stay realistic and not get my hopes up, but hearing you tell your story has helped to keep me going. 
Can I ask did you use your own eggs and how long did it take before you could bring the babies home once they were born? 
Thank you x


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## DaisyMaisy

Hi,

We used de. We were in Ukraine for 4 months. We had a bit of a nightmare with passports- we ended up getting emeregerency travel documents due to their health.  But, we had a nice time for 4 months, it isn't a horrible place to be. Xx


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## Marla

I've recently joined and I am really after some advice. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at the age 32. I am 35 year's old now.  Prior to chemotherapy and having a hysterectomy I had treatment to freeze my eggs. My partner and I would be grateful for some advice as we are really keen to look at surrogacy as a option for us. Thank you.


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## becca37

Hi everyone I'm new on here and my husband and I are looking into surrogacy 😊
The agency's aren't taking any new IPs on at the moment so we are getting info and friends on group pages! 
What's everyone's experiences with surrogacy please?


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## XXXsunshineXXX

hello friend and welcome.
i will start my surrogacy program soon in a clinic in Greece(European country)/Crete(island)/chania(city).
it take me too long to decide between the countries and the clinic.
i had a lot of meetings/calls with the agency office and personal time searching through the web also.
i have my first meeting with the director of the clinic and the manager of the surrogacy program soon.
I'm now in Greece for that reason. i will open a new topic after so i can sear my experience after.
But what about you? have make a search on your own?


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## Hari

Hi 

My husband and I are currently looking at surrogacy options abroad and particularly ukraine and Georgia.  It's do hard to know which clinic is going to give you best care and no hidden costs. We are looking into Manor Clinic which has clinics in both...the medical team are from Israel and I'm told have the best state of the art facilities and expertise although it's much more expensive for that reason at around. Has anyone looked or had experience with them. We have some frozen embryos which we hope can be used if they don't work then will be looking for ED as well. They have advised better for us to go to Georgia clinic. Any feedback appreciated.


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## Hail Mary

So our 11th attempt of ivf has just failed...maybe it's a blessing in disguise because I've been advised that having another baby is too risky for me? Been thinking about surrogacy for a while but scared about the cost and legal implications.  I've heard the Ukraine (biotex) is good and has a set fee but I'm worried about how long it will take to get our baby back to the UK,  any UK parents that have experience of this out there? Also, the UK surrogate websites are currently not taking any applications from intended parents at the moment,what are we supposed to do?
It's a minefield  
My husband is desperate to be a Daddy again..and I feel so helpless!


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## Denmommy

Hail Mary, I'm very sorry for another failure. it's heartbreaking. i cant even imagine how you'r feeling now. maybe trying surrogacy is the best option for you coz you face high risks for your health. 
we faced surrogacy due to my surgery and now waiting for their green light for own eggs stimulation. we're from norway, signed up with biotex ukraine. this is our first ivf ever. I feel so illiterate but i our doctor seems quite proficient and competent. i hope we can rely on her. our contract covers endless number of attempts but still i hope it works from the first one. 11 unsuccessful ivfs sounds as a nightmare for me, sorry.


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## Denmommy

if it's not prohibited, let me share a link to my fertility blog 
http://havingababyafterhysterectomy.blogspot.no/

please follow me, it's my first blog ever 

/links


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## Reptile Smile

Hail Mary - how long to return to the UK?  Each case is different, but at least 10 weeks, and possibly 3-4 months.


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## auroraflowers

hi all. Today we have been to the maternity house and took our baby to the hotel. We wanted to meet our surrogate but haven't had the chance. She wasn’t in her ward and we couldn’t find her anywhere. So we left the floor and went right to our daughter. The manager girl was here to ask if Victoria (our surro mom) is willing to us or not. Because I am not sure if it is even okay to do.. We missed our chance and now we will never see her, I do not see this as a bad thing but honestly is it okay to make your surro see her child taken by us? I mean.. It is so inhuman, not like I am against surrogacy, obviously I am not, but it makes me so heartbroken. Maybe we should show our kid to her? I do not know. Someone please help me to calm down. I will not see her, because as we’ve been told she goes home right when the kid she delivered is checked out.. So..


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## bambinoshar

I have had seven failed de cycles and still have 2remaining euploid embryos at a clinic in Alicante.
But I have immunological issues and my uterus keeps rejecting the embryos despite having genetic tests and 6 normal blasts out of 9 so far have transferred 4 all bfn. 
I have tried everything  I can think of and think I may have to consider surrogacy but don't have any idea about where you can do it using donor eggs or embryo adoption and also can you transfer embryos from Spanish clinic to have it done elsewhere. 
Has anyone experience of clinics who offer this what it involves and is it very complicated.
I know there are surrogacy clinics in uk but I'm not using own eggs plus I live in northern Ireland so logistically not easy either. Would appreciate any advice thanks


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## Stilltryingandhoping

Hi Aurora

Congratulations on the birth of your child , I'm very happy for you ! I hope that may be us soon(we have just signed contracts with BioTexCom in September for surrogacy).

So, the surrogate mum... Ok so if she has left, I'm sure your clinic will be happy to pass on a letter from you and translate it for her? Or perhaps see if they can arrange a meeting with her while you are still there. That is, if you are certain you want to meet her. I can imagine it is difficult and confusing, and perhaps you are right to think maybe she doesn't want to see the child. Perhaps it is something that the clinic manager can advise you on.

If you feel like you really should meet her, press the manager to make it happen somehow. You can always take an hour out to meet her(perhaps your partner or a friend/babysitter can stay with the baby for 1 hour).

Spend some time with your baby tonight and sleep on it, things will be clearer in the morning. 

I wish you all the best with your growing family


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## Stilltryingandhoping

Hi Bambinoshar

The first place I would start would be to look at legal aspects of surrogacy.

In the UK, the law states that whoever gives birth to a child is the legal mother. And if she is married, her husband is the legal father. Even if surrogacy is done abroad, when the child comes to the UK, that is the law.

To take parental responsibility, a parental order must be granted. It must be to a couple, and one of them has to be the biological parent.

So, embryo adoption with a surrogate would mean you could not legally be the parent. You may also find it difficult to bring the child into the UK as it will not automatically be born British. 

Are you single? Or do you have a male partner? My husband and I going to go through surrogacy in Kiev. In our situation, we will definitely be using his sperm and have a surrogate who is single. This means that any baby born will inherit his British nationality as legally, under UK law, he is the father. We will then apply for the parental order when we are in the uk for me to be the legal mother. 

Hope this helps


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## bambinoshar

Hi stillhopingandtrying I'm married that's interesting about the embryo adoption didn't realise that 
Also about the law about whoever gives birth to the baby is the legal mother and you have to apply for a parental order. So in that case I would be better to use DH sperm. 
It's a lot to think about your post has been very helpful.
Is it easy to get a egg donor at the clinic as well as surrogate do they do egg donation cycle in the normal way freeze the embryos and transfer to surrogate?
Would be interested to find out about the clinic you are using if you want to pm me I know you can't post here.
Did you get legal advice in the uk first and go direct to the clinic or was it through an agency. Do you need to apply for a visa to go there for surrogacy?
How long does the process take
did you go out for an initial consult to the clinic or Skype them,  
what are the costs like? 
What happens if the embryo transfer fails do they offer a pregnancy guarantee or do you just keep trying again & have to cover the costs as with ivf cycles.
Sorry to ask so many questions I'm just trying to think of things to make sense of it and decide if it's a suitable 
option for us. I really appreciate you replying to me. Just noticed you have had immune problems too and been unsuccessful after several attempts it's so hard to know why these things happen I have been to 2 clinics now for opinions on immune bloods had 2 uterine biopsies and also had hystercopes dye tests 5 immune cycles with steroids intralipids and also tried chloroquin and humira althought my tnfs came down from over. 54 to 33 they are still above the normal range and it may be I will never achieve a pregnancy I've transferred 13 embryos now all good blasts had genetic tests era womb is receptive and no one seems to have any answers why.
I just feel like my body is failing me and it's time to move on to either surrogacy overseas adoption.
Good luck for your treatment in kiev I hope you are successful xx


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## Stilltryingandhoping

Hi Bambinashar

I'm happy to share my experience with you.

Firstly, I just want to say that when I was looking at options, I looked at EVERY option available to us. So I researched everything from egg donation, embryo adoption, right through to adoption and surrogacy. I researched every country that offers this and looked at the different clinics. I think this research is an important step. You need to contact the different clinics and ask the relevant questions.

We decided on a clic in Kiev called BioTexCom because they were right for us. That doesn't mean that it's the best option for you, but from research we did and the comparisons we made, they best fit our situation. 

I will be stimulated and use my own eggs for the first 2 attempts, and if that doesn't work, then we will get donated eggs. As far as I'm aware, they have a lot of egg donars and have ample choices. The thing for us was that we are both Asian, and all the egg donars are Caucasian. This does not bother us at all, but it's worth checking these things if you are not Caucasian and it matters to you. 

We did get legal advice, yes. We don't have to get visas before we go, but there is a limit to how long you can stay in Ukraine so worth noting this(it's 30 days out of any consecutive 90 day period). 

Please look at all clinics that may be suitable, contact a few agencies and email them all to ask all your questions. It's important to have direct contact so you can get the correct information. 

If you want to PM me, I'm happy to answer your questions


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## bambinoshar

Hi still hoping and trying thank you for info on the clinic I will have a look at their website and the details of egg donors and surrogacy. We are both Caucasian and hopefully matching wouldn't be an issue.
Would need to look into the legal side if things to see where we stand before considering surrogacy not sure if the law is different in Northern Ireland compared to England we are still In the UK so should be the same.
Are you cycling soon at the clinic hope all goes well for you and you can use your oe especially if it's difficult finding a donor and fingers crossed you are successful on your first attempt. I have a review with zita west on 
2 Nov to see if theres anything else we could try before moving on I still have 2 embryos at the clinic in Spain seems mad not to use them but surrogacy is illegal there and I can't move them to the UK. Not sure if you can transfer to Ukraine would need to find out but I would doubt it. 
Will start researching clinics and looking into possible options and then contact clinics to find out if they would be suitable and could help us. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply you have given me good advise and a lot to think about .
Will keep in touch and let you know what happens wishing you good luck xx


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## auroraflowers

Hi, honey! Thank you for such a great reply! You think it will be okay to send her a card with our emails? I thought of it the other day, we could send her the photos of the babies when they grow up. Or maybe it is too much? I do not know  who to ask, because everyone seems to be really cheerful and they are saying that we should definitely meet the surrogate and I want it too. But if Victoria is ready. You know, unfortunately, we didn't have the chance to meet her in the 12 weeks scan and later due to our busy schedule. We knew we would have to free some time to be with our baby for the time needed to perform the docs. 
I will follow your advice and contact the manager. Maybe it is still possible to meet her. 
I wish you good luck and hoping that you will be matched with your surro soon!


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## Stilltryingandhoping

Thank you! I hope so too 

Whatever you decide, you wil have to ask someone at the clinic to translate for you because so few people speak English there. Personally, I think you should meet her. I say this because it's a now or never kind if deal, where by, if you don't try to meet her now, you may regret it later and wish you had. It's up to you if you want her to be exposed to the baby  

Good luck to you and you family. Xx


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## auroraflowers

Thanks! I am waiting for my manager to reply. She must be really busy though because she usually writes back in the next 5 mins after receiving our email. I will ask her if it is possible for us to meet her. I think we made a mistake when left the maternity house without trying to find her, I think we could just wait, she might have been with the doctor signing the documents. But yeah, Hope that we will get the response soon. At least we could send her a letter or something with Russian translation. Do you think it’d be alright if we ask our manager to translate the letter into Ukrainian? 
Anyways! Thank you! xx


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## Stilltryingandhoping

I don't see why not, the staff there seem very helpful. It's always worth asking  

I sent an email to my coordinator a week ago and still not had a reply, so maybe they are very busy. Who is your manager at the clinic? Also, what country are you from? 

S xx


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## thello

Hello All

I'm new to the surrogacy chat forum.  After another failed cycle I'm looking down this route.
I have read quite a bit of information on surrogacy and now confused as to which clinic to go with.  I have 3 frozen embryos so looking for a gestational surrogate, does anybody have any recommendations and experiences of how long the process takes.

thank you


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## ruby100

Hi and welcome to surrogacy bit of the forum 
I'm sorry to hear if your IVF struggles to date. Most of us are either here due to similar reasons to yourself or like me, where for some reason carrying a baby is off limits by medical people.

I can tell you a few things about surrogacy that I know so far, I hope it's helpful:

- if using a uk surrogate it cannot be commercial but has to be altruistic. This means you can't advertise or pay more than reasonable expenses. The U.K. Court system decides what is reasonable at the parental order stage.
- if going abroad, you need to ensure the laws of the country where the baby is born is compatible with surrogacy and that you can bring the baby back to the uk (depends on things such as couple status, genetic link of one or both parents to baby, U.K. Domiciled status etc m)
- if you decide to go uk route you need to find a surrogate mother without advertising. This is difficult. There are some agencies that exist for this purpose namely brilliant beginnings, COTs and surrogacy uk. Currently these agencies are closed to IPs as they have not enough surrogates 
- you can ask a family member or friend 
- once you've found a surrogate it's legal in the uk. Most good IVF clinics will assist but the IVF is expensive. This is if you want to use either your own eggs and partners sperm or donor eggs and partners sperm. If the surrogate is prepared to do 'traditional' surrogacy she will actually use her own eggs and the process is much cheaper and can even be done at home using specially purchased insemination kits.
- once the baby is born the surrogate mother is always the legal parent in the uk. You then need to apply for a parental order at the courts. They assign caffcass officers to come to your house to talk to you, look at monies you gave the surrogate, and any agreements you had, and talk to the surrogate too. If successful the first birth certificate would be destroyed and a new one with the IPs entered on it.

- if you go abroad it depends on the country. You can see the threads for Ukraine and Georgia here.
- the of difference is here surrogacy is commercial.
- therefore you can pay a price and an agency finds a surrogate for you.
- you do not have to have day to day to contact with her as the clinic will do that for you.
- you can usually choose to try with your own embryos either freshly stimulated it more frozen couriered to the foreign clinic or use donor eggs with your partners sperm.
- you will go out there for the baby's birth and stay in the country until you have entry visa or uk passport for the baby. This can take some time and be complicated dependent on your situation. Legal advice is advised. Usually a longish stay of 3-4 months is needed in this scenario.

Good luck 

And please feel welcome here 

Ruby x


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## Reptile Smile

Great summary from Ruby!

Just a couple of points - parenting order is applicable for both domestic or international surrogacy

Also the difference between 'altruistic' and 'commercial' surrogacy isn't far from being semantic.  The amount of money the SM gets is near as dammit the same (at least in so far as surrogacy in the Ukraine or Georgia).  It's interesting that no PO has been refused from too much money being paid.  Each case is considered on a case by case basis, and it seems that they're more interested in the spirit/principle agreement rather than the sum paid.  This largely, it seems, because the court make the decision on what's best for the child, and they seem to recognise that having no one legally responsible for the child really can't be seen to be in the child's best interest...


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## thello

Hey Guys

Thanks for the responses.  What concerns me the leading agencies in the UK have their books closed because lack of surrogate.  I have tried family and friends and there is no one.  Does anyone know if the process in the US is long?


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## RB76

Hello lovely ladies

Well yet again I find myself in another area of the Ff website, I think I have been to most of them over the years!

We are now looking into surrogacy as we have two frozen embryos but I was seriously ill during my last pregnancy and immune tests have shown I'd be highly at risk again if I even managed to get pregnant again. We have decided to look into surrogacy as don't want to take the risk.

Our embryos are in Prague so we would need to find a UK based surrogate able to travel there for transfer.

So far I've looked at all the agencies and none are taking on new intended parents. Have joined a couple of social media groups, but I don't really know where to start! There is noone in our (small) family to ask.

Any pointers gratefully recieved and look forward to making new friends. Thankyou Ruby for all your details above too x


----------



## aubrey

Hello girls! It's so nice to read your stories about successful experience in surrogacy. I'm only in a very beginning of my journey. I really need your advice. I’m fertile, but due to my health condition I can’t carry a baby. I have a heart disease and there is a great risk for my life if I get pregnant and give birth. 

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We had to abandon fancy wedding to save money for surrogacy. The most important for us is to become parents. That's why we'll have modest ceremony in the end of October. As I know we'll need marriage certificate for surrogacy procedure. 

Unfortunately there is no one who could carry a baby for me. I asked my sis and both of my bffs, but all of them refused. I don't blame them and I'm not angry. I understand that they have their reasons. Not everyone is ready to carry a baby for other woman. Anyway there are many women, who are ready to do this. 

I'm afraid to look for sm in the internet. There are too many stories about scams. So my dh and I decided to find sm through agency. Another option is to find clinic which will control the whole process. So it will also help with search. The only thing is I think it will take more time for a clinic to find sm.

We can't afford surrogacy in States. $100 000 is too high price for our abilities. Speaking about India, it turned out, that they canceled surrogacy for foreigners. So now I think about Greece. The price is a little bit lower than in USA. But still it may cost even more in the end. I hope maybe we'll find smth cheaper with same services. Girls, maybe you could advice agencies/clinics in Europe! Thank you in advance!


----------



## aubrey

Thank you girls for so many useful tips! I'll consider all this info in my search. I'm only in the beginning of it and I'm confused. You helped me to clear this procedure a little. I'm fertile, but due to my health condition I can't carry a baby. I have a heart disease and there is a great risk for my life if I get pregnant and give birth. I'm afraid to look for sm in the internet. There are too many stories about scams. So my dh and I decided to find sm through agency. Another option is to find clinic which will control the whole process. So it will also help with search. The only thing is I think it will take more time for a clinic to find sm.

Another problem is price for surrogacy. We are not rich people. We can't afford surrogacy in States. $100 000 is too high price for our abilities. Speaking about India, it turned out, that they canceled surrogacy for foreigners. So now I think about Greece. The price is a little bit lower than in USA. But still it may cost even more in the end. I know that some clinics may just give you list of services (which were not discussed previously) after delivery to pull more money. 

Girls, maybe you know some reliable agencies/clinics with reasonable prices? I'd be grateful for any info. I'm lost in all those reviews. They are so controversial! I'm so scared to face fraud. We had to abandon fancy wedding to save money for surrogacy. I dream to become a mother. I'm so scared of failure. Reading all those stories about scammers and failures made me so sad. I wish this procedure was easier.


----------



## ruby100

HI - a lot of us are looking at surrogacy in Ukraine or Georgia - if you look through those dedicated threads you'll see the clinics people are using! x


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## aubrey

Dimble said:


> Hi Nattee,
> 
> I'm currently a host surrogate for family
> 
> I didn't need anything, other than a referral from my GP to the IP's chosen fertility clinic. The IP's self-referred if I remember rightly, and then we had initial consultations separately (I can't remember if it _had_ to be done separately though). We then had counselling (separately) at the clinic, and it then had to be passed by the ethics committee based on the consultant and counselor's reports. Another thing that the clinic did insist on is that legal advice was sought, although we didn't each have to get legal advice, they were happy for the IP's to do that and for them to then just share that advice with my Husband and I (although other clinics may work differently).
> 
> I hope that I've been of some help x


You have a very big heart! Being a surrogate mother for a family/friend is such a great thing. Not everyone would do this. My only chance to become a mother is surrogacy. Unfortunately there is no one who could carry a baby for me. I asked my sis and both of my bffs, but all of them refused. I don't blame them and I'm not angry. I understand that they have their reasons. Not everyone is ready to carry a baby for other woman. Anyway there are many women, who are ready to do this. Though costs for surrogacy are pretty high, I hope we will make it.


----------



## Reptile Smile

The thing to remember about Greece is that you have to go through a 3-month-ish court process first before you are allowed to do surrogacy, and apparently there aren't that many women over there who want to be surrogates.

By the sound of it, you wouldn't have a problem with the court process, given your condition, but it's something to be aware of.

You're right that India has closed its books to outsiders, and Mexico has also come offline with surrogacy.

Good luck with your journey

PS - We're not all women on here!


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## Altai

Have a look at Ukrainian and Russian clinics.
I saw recently website of one of the Ukrainian clinics and was really surprised at the cost. 
i think Ukraine is very much affordable option, then Russia. I think it probably would be much more expensive  elsewhere.


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## chloe.v

Hello ladies.
I've already started a thread with my story. Speaking in a few words, I've been diagnosed with HIV. I gave birth to a baby, but my boy died due to simple cold boosted by HIV. That's I didn't want to conceive naturally again, and I was looking for other ways to have a baby Thank you all for your advice.
I'm definitely going for surrogacy. I've already read through some threads about clinics abroad. But they are so messy...
It seems that clinics in Georgia and Ukraine are the most popular. But I don't know which one to choose. There are Isida, New Life, Biotexcom, but they all have good reviews, and I don't know which one to choose. Maybe some people could share their stories and experience?


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## Reptile Smile

My heart felt condolences for what you've been through.  What an awful thing to have to cope with, and how strong you must be to be building for the future again.

With regards to surrogacy - you've probably gathered from reading the forum that my wife and I have been fortunate enough to have had twins a fortnight ago in Georgia.  Accordingly, I can tell you some things and can't advise on others.  Here's what I know:

1) Nobody can tell you whether one clinic is better than another, because ultimately, we generally have had experience of one (with some exceptions).  You'll find, for example, some people like me who were lucky first time who swear by their clinic, and others who weren't lucky first time (you can find examples of this earlier on in the Georgia thread) who will then dismiss the clinic.

2) As you say, international surrogacy with regards to people's experiences on these boards largely comes down to Georgia vs Ukraine.  The US is still an option, albeit an extraordinarily expensive one, and so is the UK if you can find a surrogate.  Other places are kind of 'niche' - Greece, for example, or to some extent Poland.  Accordingly, it's in those threads where all people's experiences of individual clinics will be, and if we post them here, they will get moved to those threads.

3) There is no way to sidestep a protracted three months or more overseas.  You just can't, with the exception of Greece (being in the Schengen area).  Accordingly, you'd better have a plan for what to do about the maximum 3 month visa in the Ukraine (assuming you're from the UK) (Georgia has a maximum stay of a year).  HMPO used to allow emergency travel allowances when you run out of visa - DaisyMaisy on these forums made use of this.  No one on these boards has had experience of what happens now this has been disallowed.

4) You have to be in a heterosexual married relationship in both the Ukraine (AFAIK) and Georgia.

5) On the one hand, I think you might reach the same conclusion we did - if we were lucky enough to have children, we would find a way to cope with anything.  On the other, there's something to be said for making things as easy as poss for yourself.  You might want to visit Tbilisi and Kiev even if only for a few days - spending 3-4 months in a country is a big undertaking and you might want to choose somewhere you like.

6)  The guarantees of some clinics are big draws.  I haven't seen any evidence from anyone on these boards who have 'put these guarantees to the test'.  I believe that quality and speed of communication is important (it was to us, anyway), and you can find some comments about this in both the Ukraine and Georgia threads about a variety of clinics.


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## jo1985

Hi everyone I'm jo have a 4 year old born thru ice land 2 yr old from natural pg. Really looking into surrogacy as I want to give back and help a couple became parents. Again like most little daunted as to where to start I have registered with surrogacy uk earlier today. I want to become a surrogate using couples eggs/sperm Ideally. Any info on where to go be awesome


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## Blondie71

Hi Chloe just wanted to say it'seems definitely possible for you to carry a healthy pregnancy with the medication available and a good quality physician experienced in caring for hiv + pregnant women, in fact you pose a very low to zero risk if you're undetectable and don't breastfeed, I'm not sure which country you're living in but if in Europe, Australia, USA etc no issues whatsoever, a good friend of mine has hiv and said a site called poz.com has good info on hiv & pregnancy, good luck and don't let fear hold you back you deserve to be happy x

/links


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## chloe.v

Hey, Blondie. Thank you for sharing such a useful site! Yeah, I know it is possible, and I actually carried a child on my own. But HIV passed to my baby, and it died at the age less than a year. I can afford to risk my child's life one more time, that's why I'm going for surrogacy


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## Blondie71

So sad in this day and age you experienced your poor baby suffering and passing so unnecessary 😢 very best of luck to you guys x


----------



## BobbiH

Chloe, I'm so sorry for what you've been through it's such an awful thing that you had to experience. 

I think Reptile has done a good job in breaking down the surrogacy process and dealing with clinics etc. You can spend a lot of time reading many reviews of clinics but in the end it's you that will have to make the final decision. 

Wishing you all the best x


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## thello

Hello
Can anyone recommend which UK Surrogacy to register with, is there one which is better than another?


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## Sarah1712

Hi i wondered if anyone could help answer a question for me. I have recently been successful in IVF tx and have a little boy as a result. Our main issue is male factor with a littke immunes stuff for me.

I was wondering if this would stop me being a surrogate for someone else? My baby is almost 8 minths old and for quite some time i have been thinking that i would like to help another couple to have their dreams come true.

Id be gutted if it wasnt possible however understand why.

Thanks for your help


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## ruby100

Dear Sarah,

Firstly welcome and secondly thank you for thinking of being a surrogate.  Surrogate are so needed and appreciated by a whole section of society, without whom, they wouldn't have a chance of a family.

Re your question, a couple of things spring to mind.  Firstly, have you finished having your own children?  Usually you cannot be a surrogate until your own family is finished and you have to be sure of this in your own mind.  Secondly, No, I don't' think needing IVF per se would put many IPs off.  It certainly doesn't put me off (my previous surrogate and hopefully again next year) has no tubes from ectopics and so needs IVF to get pregnant.  

Please ask any questions here I'm sure we'll all do the best we can to help

Ruby x


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## Uber Barrens Club

thello said:


> Hello
> Can anyone recommend which UK Surrogacy to register with, is there one which is better than another?


It may have changed but at least some (if not all) the UK agencies aren't taking on new intended parents

I've been speaking to US clinics and agencies about shipping our blasts overseas, it's not an option I want to have to consider but it's looking like surrogacy may be our only option if we determine that my uterus isn't likely to be able to support a pregnancy


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## Job1

Hi
I was wondering if anyone had any help or information. Im just starting to look into surragacy, not sure where to look or if it is even a minefield to go down that route!
Can anyone offer their experiences, costs. Is it easy to do this in the UK or is it advisable to go abroad. We looked on a surragacy website and there are no more bookings being taken on the waiting lists due to the over demand.
In the UK does it mean the child is not legally yours, if you go abroad how does this work.

I welcome any advice, info.

Many thanks


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## Reptile Smile

Job1, as long as the surrogate gives up the child, there is an established legal procedure to transfer legal responsibility to you. The process is exactly the same in the U.K. as abroad. The difference, ultimately, is abroad there are no waiting lists due to an agency type approach. My wife and I are currently in Tbilisi with our newly-born twin daughters waiting for their passports to arrive (which can take up to 3 months). 

Total cost was probably in the order of £32k. Ish. We had an unforeseen £5k of NICU charges. Would recommend out agency and experience to anyone, though.


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## michellemichelle

Reptile Smile said:


> Job1, as long as the surrogate gives up the child, there is an established legal procedure to transfer legal responsibility to you. The process is exactly the same in the U.K. as abroad. The difference, ultimately, is abroad there are no waiting lists due to an agency type approach. My wife and I are currently in Tbilisi with our newly-born twin daughters waiting for their passports to arrive (which can take up to 3 months).
> 
> Total cost was probably in the order of £32k. Ish. We had an unforeseen £5k of NICU charges. Would recommend out agency and experience to anyone, though.


Hi! do you think it is better to use an agency if you plan to go abroad? Or maybe it increases the cost of the whole program.. Because I am seeking for a surrogacy clinic abroad but so far all of the possible options I was opting for has been closed for the last years. like India, Cambodia etc. Unfortunately, there is not too many countries and clinics that would offer such a cheap surrogacy programs.. And of course, the legal issues, like for someone who's actually from US.. 
the articles state that there are plenty of countries where everyone could have a baby through surrogacy but i am not sure. so far I was thinking about Ukraine or Georgia like the two of the most popular "cheaper" directions out there..


----------



## michellemichelle

Hi! so for now as we are about to begin our surrogate journey I want to address something
I do not feel fine
I mean I feel really scared and afraid of what's yet to come
I know that for me it is going to be very easy and for my husband too as the only thing he is going to do is giving his sperm (not counting blood tests as they are really nothing). But I feel really and really unstable as one may say. the pressure is high and I feel like I need some support and that's it.
maybe there is someone who can waste some time on comforting such a mess like me??
well I feel better writing all of that down, my husband is  here too but I feel like he needs some help too (joking)
going to another country is a bit more stressful than I thought


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## Fay2410

Hi, I'd like to be a surrogate for someone but I don't know where to start? Can anyone help?


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## Denmommy

Michelle, you sound very concerned. if the problem is just in comforting you, well, I can be there for you. everything will be fine. I know what you feel coz I was in your boat just a couple of months ago. We took it a bit easier, it seems, though. Sure the pressure is high but your nervousness wont do any good. Believe me. Your positive approach is probably one of the most essential parts of the whole surrogacy journey. We also took risk and went internationally. We were ready for anything, really. We knew it wont be an easy way. But what we really couldn’t believe is that our surrogate will get pregnant from the very first attempt. That’s really a blessing. I keep her in my heart, mind and soul every day of my life since then. I still haven’t met her personally but I know it’s a woman with a very big and kind heart. She does a very special and very appreciable job for my family. I was pregnant once and I know how it feels, especially the first trimester. You know. 

We’re going to travel there to meet her and to let her know we are grateful. Endlessly. 

Michelle, these words come from the very bottom of my heart and I hope they will cheer you up. Be free to talk of your concerns/hesitations. If I know how to cope with that, I’ll willingly help

xxx


----------



## queenprincess

Hi
I've had multiple problems with fertility, I have 3 blasts remaining which have normal chromosome numbers. But my lining will not thinking up. My amazing sister volunteered to be a surrogate a few years ago but she had the same issue with her lining, despite having two children.  After trying with me again and having continuing low lining, I'm ready to move on. 

I was wondering any advice out there. Is using my frozen embryos feasable? Or would we have to do a fresh cycle? Is that up to the surrogate? 

Thanks so much x


----------



## tina11

Hi queen princess

Sorry to hear about you lining issues, I am sure you can use your embryos with a surrogate. I dnt know much about that. 

Which clinic are you at? There was a lady at my clinic(Argc) who had the same issue as you. Always had thin lining with her previous clinic clinic. Argc manages to get her lining thick and she is now pregnant with twins. 

They used all sort off drugs like Viagra to help thinking up the lining. It obviously worked.

May be work looking into. Hope that helps x


----------



## michellemichelle

hello all thought of sharing this with you my surrogacy program has started with the surro mom matched and the donor obviously starting her stimulation. as you have understood obviously I am a waiting IP! haha
If there is someone who is in the same boat with me I am waiting for your stories to be shared and I am ready to listen to your happy feelings or your concerns if there are something of that sort
bc as for me, i am truly satisfied!
the sole thing that I feel a bit stressed about is other women on ******** who keep throwing all those questions at me about my clinic haha anyways.
luck to everyone!


----------



## Stilltryingandhoping

Hi MichelleMichelle

It's so great that your surrogacy journey has begun! It is very stressful, if you've had a read of my diary you'll see how stressed I have been through it so far. So please don't feel like it's just you, the whole process is daunting and emotional. I hope you are feeling better now  

If other people asking you questions stresses you out, just ignore the questions and don't reply. The whole point of these boards is supposed to be to get support and share experiences(if you want to). I think the most important thing is to put yourself and your husband first, and reply only for you want to. 

I'm carrying on with my diary, and we are at the same clinic, so feel free to read about it. And if you want to comment on any of the posts to add your experience, you are welcome It's on my blog now, the link is in my signature.

S xx


----------



## michellemichelle

Hello! I am Michelle, I am now in the beginning of surrogacy program and recently I started thinking about whether it is a good idea to tell to my baby that he was born the particular way..? Or maybe it is not a good idea at all... Because some of us choose the clinic depending whether the law system allows a child born using donor's eggs to know who the donor was or not. 
and for me it was a bit shocking and it basically opened my eyes because before I was all for not even touching this subject with my husband but for now... what do you do? what is better? 
  
and on top of that even if I want my kid to know who the donor was I won't be able to even give him any info apart from the photo of our donor... that's it. and the photo of our SM


----------



## Stilltryingandhoping

Hi Michellemichelle 

You know, I've been thinking the exact same thing. We are now in our 2ww for a second time with a surrogate, and this is the last time we can try with my eggs. So if this attempt doesn't work,we will move to donor eggs.

So now I wonder, if we are successful through surrogacy, will we tell our child that we used surrogacy, or that we used donor eggs(if we do)? 

So far, I think that I would like it to remain a secret, because my husband would prefer to. But realistically, I think I would want my child to know how much he/she was wanted, and the lengths we went to,to be parents. It's a process which has been brutal but made us so much closer that I can't imagine ever pretending it didn't happen. As far as the egg donation part, I am not sure I would want my child to know about this because I would worry that it would mean he/she would not feel like they are a part of me. 

I guess as time goes on, we will do whatever feels right. 

How do you feel about it? 

S xx


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## michellemichelle

Hello stilltryingandhoping
It is a difficult topic… 
As I think that it is very important to decide on how you will act like in the future so there is no indecision you know. But I am for telling your child the truth, maybe not everything but I will definitely be having a serious conversation with my baby when I feel like he is at the stage when he actually understands what surrogacy or egg donation actually is. So he becomes a part of our family secret. 
I do not want him to be left out. I feel like if our child finds out about all surrogacy stuff before we have a chance to tell him the truth, it may break his heart. 
This is what I have been thinking about so far. A bit challenging not only in terms of our health but also because it is a very delicate topic…. 
But you know maybe there is no right decision, or right way to tell or not to tell your child the truth. and it  is  only you who decide what is better… 
Hm
Still cannot make my mind up


----------



## Reptile Smile

We decided that we would tell our twins from the start - the whole thing, including the donor eggs thing.  We told them the story from the day that we brought them home from hospital - not that they could understand then - that was more for our benefit, so that we got used to telling them.  We want to make sure that there is never a point in their life that they could remember not knowing the truth.

Part of it for us was about saying, "If it was us, what would we want?  Would we want to know?" and the answer to that was yes.  But also it's about the friends I have who were adopted or born from donor eggs, for whom that detail is almost incidental - just a minor part of their past.  It never changed their relationship with the people they considered their parents at all...

_______________________

Reading this later, I'd also say that I was very open about it with friends, work colleagues - everyone, really.  For us, surrogacy was nothing to be ashamed about or try to hide.  We were very open about it, and since then have had a lot of people ask us about the process because they wondered if it would be useful to their situation too...


----------



## michellemichelle

Reptile smile hello!
I agree with you! When thinking about what I would want, I definitely know that I would want to know the truth as it would also mean that my own parents trust me to that extent that they just cannot hide from such an important thing as the way I was conceived and born. 
So the baby that will be developing inside our surrogate mother as for me has all the rights to know the whole truth but I totally will be opening up before him when his at the age of the total consciousness.  
But it is only my point of view and talking to other women I have understood that not everyone is ready to hide it or to tell it to their kids born with using artificial technologies. So I guess it is up to everyone. But I have changed my mind since the time when I was told by this lady that she would want his baby to even meet with the egg donor she’s chosen. Of course, in the future, when her child is 18 years old and of course if he wants it. Before that I haven’t even thought about anything like that, I was concentrating on the program, on other little things that were going by and I had to deal with all of them. But when sitting waiting for someone else’s procedures and not having anything too important but only stupid and pointless worries I have started thinking about all that stuff. 
I am not ashamed about surrogacy either. But as for me I haven’t been telling everyone directly that I am having surrogacy tx, I have only told them that my husband and I are currently in the middle of our fertility program. That’s all. But I think that no one should be ashamed of any kind of fertility treatment as it is completely ok, as there is nothing wrong with it.


----------



## Shalmir

Dear all
I have a question if anyone has experience in transporting their embryos from UK to any EU countries and how long did it take to get the special directive I.e. Approval from HFEA?

Thanks


----------



## Uber Barrens Club

queenprincess - sorry to hear of your problems with lining issues. I am likely to need surrogacy due to intractable thin lining - I assume you’ve tried all the various treatments and interventions (stims, HRT, vaginal viagra, pentoxifylline + vitamin E, endo scratch, G-CSF wash, tamoxifen etc)?

You can use your frozen embryos with a UK surrogate, and indeed we have enquired about exporting our frozen blasts to the US for transfer into a gestational carrier over there. FDA regulations permit this as long as the embryos weren’t originally created for the purposes of surrogacy, and weren’t using donor eggs or sperm. In those situations, a fresh cycle in the country where the transfer will take place would be required. I’m not sure about the regulations for exporting to other countries for surrogacy e.g. Georgia and Ukraine. The HFEA have very strict regulations about exporting embryos to overseas clinics, so it would depend on the country and the clinic.

If you’re pursuing UK surrogacy then this is obvs academic. Good luck.


----------



## TinaOwen

Like the most of newbies here we need to find out more useful information about reproductive centers
Thnks in advance.
Speaking briefly about the reasons that forced me to post here I feel some unpleasant feelings. Really I don’t want to repeat this again and again. Because it’s really too long to describe and it has no practical usefulness. 
I’ve lost my uterus due to surgery and its consequences. I have a husband, we love and respect each other. Both we want the only thing to become parents at last.
We live in Germany, and the local legislation doesn’t allow reproductive procedures as we need. It’s awfully, and we need to go abroad for our dream. 
So our aim is to find a clinic for the start of our surrogacy journey. 
Perhaps the question has been asked too wide I mean without concreate requirement. But I hope I’ll find here that I want and need. 
If you know something that can be helpful, please write here, I will wait.
Thank you.


----------



## ttc_adventure

Hello all, 
I've been following the FF Surrogacy forums for quite a while now and never thought I'd actually be posting myself! Anyway after 4 long years of gruelling IVF treatment, we have come to the decision that surrogacy may be the only way for us to create a family. My lining is persistently thin and so we think it's an issue with me not being able to hold the embryos, rather than egg quality. Although I do have PCOS so that can affect egg quality. Anyway we are now at the stage of researching all our options. We have narrowed it down to the US and Georgia. Obviously there is a HUGE cost difference between the two! We spoke with Circle Surrogacy (US) yesterday and the costs are eye wateringly expensive! Someone else has also recommended Choice Surrogacy in California so looking into that. We also have a Skype call with New Life Georgia on Thursday so will be interesting to see what they have to say. Anyway just really keen to hear of any UK couples that have had successful surrogacy journeys either in the US or Georgia. 

Many thanks!


----------



## Denmommy

ttc_adventure, hi and welcome. Sorry to hear about your fertility issues. Obviously, surrogacy is an option for you. Not an easy decision, I know it from my personal experience. But all the struggles are forgotten when you get the desired result. Our baby through surrogacy is not yet born, but it's already a confirmed pregnancy of 14 weeks and everything's fine (hopefully). Our baby is growing, surrogate feels well, and we are getting ready to welcoming our new baby. I can also understand your feelings as to prices. Fertility treatments costs a fortune, but surrogacy is the most expensive of all. We found out that in the USA the prices are the highest and we couldn't afford it. Georgia and Ukraine are now very popular. They offer great set of service for a reasonable price. We''re doing surrogacy in Kiev, Ukraine now. In our clinic, the cheapest surrogacy contract (all inclusive) costs 30k euro. They provide endless number of attempts and cover all related fees both medical, legal and even accommodation and meals. very comfy. by now, we are more than satisfied with their service. 
good luck to you in your journey!


----------



## Denmommy

michelle and others who support the idea of revealing the secret, I absolutely agree with you. We all have the right to know the truth about our roots. After all, it all helps us to find the answer to the eternal question: who we are and why do we come to this world? Hiding truth never makes any good. IMO. All secrets are sooner or later revealed. It's unfair to hide the truth of birth of your child. The key factor here are not the treatment you received in order to parent your baby, but how much you expected this baby, how you loved him even before he was born and that you were his mother since the very first day of his life
IMO


----------



## Uber Barrens Club

FYI there's a conference in London where a lot of the overseas clinics and surrogacy agencies will be attending

Some of the US agencies are doing consultations when they're in town

http://www.familiesthrusurrogacy.com/london-surrogacy-conference/

We're considering US surrogacy as our next step, I've been dealing with a number of agencies for initial enquiries

ttc - I haven't spoken to Circle, but CSP have been incredible helpful. I've only made very initial enquiries. We're not considering Ukraine or Georgia, only US, so don't have any experience to compare the two

We aren't quite ready to have formal conversations yet, as we're still in treatment - but it looks like a really interesting event which might be helpful


----------



## annasss

hi, i'm not a big expert in this field because I also have an infertility problem. I had 4 miscarriages in a row. The doctor doesn't know the reason for it, it seems like my body rejects the embryos. He advised me to undergo the de conception but it's also forbidden in our country. So, I'm like you in searching for a clinic. And i'm not sure whether this is a good idea to try de treatment, what if my body will reject the embryos again. 
Sorry for my story
i wanted to share my pain with you...


----------



## Denmommy

Hello TinaOwen, and welcome. I used to be at your place not so long ago, so I know very well how it feels. Moreover, my dx is pretty much the same, the same life tragedy. And I understand very well why you don't want to go much into details. 
Yes, unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) our only option is surrogacy. A year ago I would say 'unfortunately', now I know that obviously fortunately is the best word to fit here. We are waiting for a baby to come via surrogacy and this is our 'fortune', this is our life, this is our happiness. All our family, friends and all close people got used to the idea and we don't keep it in secret. Our surrogate is Ukrainian and we traveled to Kiev to meet her just several days ago. 
This is an unusual journey, very unusual, full of emotions, ups and downs, but what comes on top of all that? If you ask me was the game worth the candle, I would definitely say yes. 
Btw, you can read our surrogacy journey blog here http://havingababyafterhysterectomy.blogspot.no/
maybe you'll find some answers to the questions you have
Or be free to ask me. Yet I have enough time to sharing my experience here 
Good luck


----------



## lotus123

Hello to everyone!

Please share with your experience:
How many embryos, which grade and on which day they were transferred - and the result: positive or negative. If positive - how many babies


----------



## TinaOwen

That’s completely ok, if we have pain we must share. I think that otherwise we would be left face to face with our fears. And no progress will be. 
I hope that your presence on this page is not accidental thing and you’ll also discover the facts you search for. I hope we have a good extension of our search. 
Sorry for your failures, it’s always hard to live through.


----------



## queenprincess

Hi. I'm seeking advice from anyone who has undergone surrogacy in the uk either as a surrogate or IP. We would like to go down this route and unfortunately cant use family and would like to use an agency. I wondered which agency did you go through and any recommendations?


----------



## ttc_adventure

Hi queenprincess,
We're in the process of starting to look for a surrogate, either in the UK, US or Georgia. There are 3 agencies in the UK - Cots, SurrogacyUK and Brilliant Beginnings. Brilliant Beginnings aren't taking on any intended parents at the moment as they don't have enough surrogates. Cots and Surrogacy UK are taking on parents but they also have a limited number of surrogates so no guarantee of when you might be matched. Alternatively, I've been introduced to some wonderful ******** groups - these are great forums for intended parents and surrogates to meet and chat. I have been speaking to a woman whose surrogate is 29 weeks pregnant with her baby girl! Let me know if you want the names of the groups and I'll PM  you.


----------



## ttc_adventure

Denmommy, thank you so much for your message and huge congratulations on your confirmed pregnancy, what exciting times ahead! I can't believe how much cheaper the Ukraine and Georgia are to the US! Do you mind me asking how long it took from when you first contacted the agency in Ukraine to the confirmed pregnancy? Just trying to prepare myself for the time frames.
Wishing you so much luck with the pregnancy.


----------



## michellemichelle

Denmommy said:


> michelle and others who support the idea of revealing the secret, I absolutely agree with you. We all have the right to know the truth about our roots. After all, it all helps us to find the answer to the eternal question: who we are and why do we come to this world? Hiding truth never makes any good. IMO. All secrets are sooner or later revealed. It's unfair to hide the truth of birth of your child. The key factor here are not the treatment you received in order to parent your baby, but how much you expected this baby, how you loved him even before he was born and that you were his mother since the very first day of his life
> IMO


as for me the secret in revealing the truth to your child lies in choosing the proper moment of doing so. it should not be the first day of the newborn's life but it may be if you want but as for me it should be the moment when your kid is ready to comprehend something as complex as surrogacy. because as you see some adults cannot even understand what it is and how it works. 
but I totally agree with you!


----------



## TinaOwen

Denmommy said:


> Hello TinaOwen, and welcome. I used to be at your place not so long ago, so I know very well how it feels. Moreover, my dx is pretty much the same, the same life tragedy. And I understand very well why you don't want to go much into details.
> Yes, unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) our only option is surrogacy. A year ago I would say 'unfortunately', now I know that obviously fortunately is the best word to fit here. We are waiting for a baby to come via surrogacy and this is our 'fortune', this is our life, this is our happiness. All our family, friends and all close people got used to the idea and we don't keep it in secret. Our surrogate is Ukrainian and we traveled to Kiev to meet her just several days ago.
> This is an unusual journey, very unusual, full of emotions, ups and downs, but what comes on top of all that? If you ask me was the game worth the candle, I wold definitely say yes.
> Btw, you can read our surrogacy journey blog here http://havingababyafterhysterectomy.blogspot.no/
> maybe you'll find some answers to the questions you have
> Or be free to ask me. Yet I have enough time to sharing my experience here
> Good luck


Ohhh, thank you! It seems your answer truly became a gift for me. I'm grateful very much! Certainly I'll follow on your link. I believe I could discover a lot of useful facts there. 
I feel happy you have sent me your rich response. 
We're at the different stages of the one story full of disappointment and doubts. I need to hold a rapport with you, I guess it can give me more essential support than my own efforts to help myself.
Interesting, You wrote you had your experience in Ukraine. I have noted that many of us had the same place for their treatment. Wanna know, what was the deciding factor of your choice?


----------



## queenprincess

That would be great. Thank you. Please PM me.
x


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## Reptile Smile

With UK-based processes around donor eggs, you're required to have counselling, and as part of this, we were introduced to several books aimed at very young children that help explain it.  It was there we were given the advice about starting the conversation with them on the day we brought them home from the hospital.  Every couple needs to decide what's right for them, but we found it really useful.


----------



## Denmommy

'Wanna know, what was the deciding factor of your choice?' - you know, a lot of factors came together coz there were so many things that were crucial for us. I think when it deals with your future baby, you won't be aware exclusively of financial issues, or of remoteness of the clinic. Right? So many factors should come all in one. 
If you read my blog, you'll get to know more on how we made a decision of signing with Biotexcom (we visited two other clinics in Kiev btw). Ok, I can name five factors that were important for our family:
1. Guaranteed result (I know that many people try assisted reproduction again and again and it all fails so we wanted to have some guarantees that we won't just lose time and money).
2. Reasonable price (we can afford surrogacy, hopefully, but we know limits. after all, we'll have to raise those kids up in future, so they will yet need our money so credits and loans are not for us)
3. All inclusive contract means you don't have to worry of anything when you come to kiev, and that there won't be any hidden fees.
4. Transparency (very few fertility clinics have their contracts available on their websites. It's a point of trust
5. Reviews (before we signed with them, I made a profound research and communicated with other women who had tx there. well, same things you do now, so you're on the right way, I guess. good luck


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## Stilltryingandhoping

The money was a bigfactor as places like the US were not possible. But Ukraine seemed like a good option because the medical clinics are very good, the doctors knowledgable and the results from these clinics are impressive-well they were to us. We contacted a few clinics and we went with BioTexCom. For anyone who read my diary/blog, you'll know we had issues with them at times, but things seemed to be working a little better. I've been very open about my experience with them good and bad. There's a link to my blog in my signature, so I'm happy for everyone to read it if they want to read about our honest experience of the clinic and our surrogacy journey. 

S xx


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## Uber Barrens Club

Regarding telling people about surrogacy - I'm a little curious (no judgement - genuine curiosity) how it's possible to NOT tell people about surrogacy, unless you're planning to hide away for 9 months so friends, family and work colleagues can't tell you've not been pregnant when you bring home a baby? 

We're facing the surrogacy route, and I hope we'd be able to say to a future child something along the lines of what I said to a friend whose little boy was born via surrogate - that Mummy and Daddy weren't able to grow you in Mummy's tummy, but everyone wanted you to be born SO much that a lovely lady and a whole team of clever Drs and scientists helped to grow you in the other lady's tummy, THAT'S how much everyone wanted you to be a part of our family. And how very loved and wanted they were and are, because of how hard everyone fought for him or her to become our son or daughter.

My friend is in a same-sex relationship so his little boy was born via surrogate and egg donor. I crooned to him how very important he was, because he had two mummies (an egg mummy and a tummy mummy) AND two daddies!

Although I now know that wasn't the right thing to say, from speaking to lots of surros on the surrogacy social media groups. Most really don't like the term tummy mummy, because they don't consider themselves to be the mummy. And egg donors certainly don't consider themselves to be the mummy. In my friends' case, I'm not sure how much contact they  have with their surrogate now - certainly in the UK groups the surros and IPs form lifelong friendships. It's different in the UK as obv a match is based on friendship and altruism rather than a commercial arrangement as in overseas surrogacy

That said, as we're likely to end up doing US surrogacy, if I'm unable to sustain a pregnancy, I think my gut says I'd like to be able to maintain contact with a surrogate after the birth, and for a child to be able to meet the angel who made it possible for him or her to come into this world. The UK surros mostly speak to their IPs on a daily basis - I don't know if I'd want or expect daily contact (given a surro is likely to have a family of her own as well), but I'd certainly hope that the relationship was one of friendship given the amount of contact you'd hope to have over the course of a pregnancy. Wouldn't be possible to attend every appointment, but would certainly want to attend major milestone scans, and obv the birth - can't imagine not maintaining some level of contact after going through such a special experience , watching your child come into this world.

I'm really scared and saddened that I'm probably not going to be able to carry our own baby, but the more I'm exposed to real life experiences of surrogacy, the more I'm able to see the beautiful possibilities of the experience as being ones to celebrate, rather than be ashamed of. The amount of love and care the surros on the social media groups show for their IPs and surro-babies is overwhelming, the photos make me properly teary!


----------



## Little_blue

hi i'm new here. i'm looking at becoming a surrogate and have reached out on a few sites to take the next step, unfortunately what i have found so far is largely american based which is unsuitable for me. Ideally i'm looking for someone in the central scotland area as i can't really travel due to having a family of my own to care for. Is there any groups that are on a more local level? Thanks for any help


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## DaisyMaisy

Hi,

Re telling about surrogacy, I told people when we were expecting  (not everyone), but just family and work people- people who I saw everyday. 

The twins know that they grew in their tummy mummy as the part in mummy that makes the baby is broken. They also understand that not everyone has a tummy mummy.

Since they have been born, I've not told new people who I've met. I feel that it was my journey and story before they were born, but now it's theirs . It's up to them if they want to talk and tell people. They understand this on a basic level.  I've tried not to make it a secret and let them feel that they can talk to people and ask questions if they want.....

Xx


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## Stilltryingandhoping

Hi Bananafish81

Our situation is a little complicated and sensitive. Because My husband and I are British Asian and our families are Muslim, some people within our families would be very against surrogacy. Moreso his family than mine. So we will only tell a few relatives(mainly my siblings) and then not tell anyone else, to avoid any tension or upset. The way I see it, DH and I are pro surrogacy so it's not anyone else's place to judge. As for making it believable, I work from home and own my own business so no colleagues to worry about, DH's family lives far away and we usually Skype them. I don't mind some close friends knowing so we are all set. As for what we tell our child(if our surrogacy journey ends well) I will tell our baby that we went through a lot to have him/her. And as the child grows older, I will decide what to do. 

I'm writing a book about surrogacy so I'm sure the cat will be out of the bag pretty soon anyway 😂 And my blog is online for the public so who knows! Whatever happens will happen, I'm quite open to letting things fall into place. 

I wish you the best of luck with your surrogacy journey! If you want to read about ours, take a peek at my blog
Www.oursurrogacyblog.wordpress.com 

We have had a lot more challenges than we even imagined, but we hope it'll be worth it!

Sxx


----------



## spaceman1950

Hi all
we are intended parents in discussion with a surrogate mother ( traditional surrogacy)  . we  wondered if anyone could help with advice or pointing us to a source of a sample agreement template regarding payment of expenses schedule . one that is fair to all parties.  how are expenses including time off from work paid normally ?  there is no clinic involved as such so we assumed there would be few  expenses until the latter stages of pregnancy. will all expenses need to be paid upfront or should something be paid if and when a child is born? Many thanks in advance

Tony and Sandra


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## ruby100

Hi everyone, 

I wonder if anyone would tell me their stories or suggest ideas for me as I feel at a decision fork in our fertility journey?  We are using a lovely UK surrogate.

We have had 3 IVF cycles (all short protocol)
1. ICSI: 11 eggs, 8 mature, 5 fertilised, 4 blastocysts (one pregnancy m/c 9 weeks, other 3 no pregnancy)
2. IVF: 10 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilised, 2 x 2-day old transferred - no pregnancy
3. IVF 10 eggs, 4 mature, 0 fertilised!!

I've taken advice from my clinic where I did the first three cycles - they recommended another cycle OR consider DEs.  However, I was a little bit surprised at this as I've still produced lots of eggs.  My problem appears to be worse maturity since the first cycle.

I also had 2nd opinion and they thought another cycle and that I wasn't in the situation of DEs yet.

I also spoke to a lovely embryologist at my original clinic who thought we should do another cycle with ICSI this time.

My problem is - is this a worthwhile thing to do?  It's getting so very expensive and another cycle would be so much more money, especially ICSI.  Or, do we cut our losses and move to DEs now?

If we were going to be successful, wouldn't we have been successful on our first cycle with the four blastocysts?

I'm just so desperate as we all are to get going on something that works without having to get into too much debt to achieve it!

Thanks Ruby x


----------



## Stilltryingandhoping

Hi Ruby!

Been a while since you've been on these forums. So, you and I have spoken in the past about our situations. It's completely up to you to decide how you feel about it, I mean, financially and emotionally. Giving up on the idea of having your own biological child is not an easy thing to do for some people(which is understandable and natural). 

With me and my husband, we went through 5 ICSI attempts with 6 amazing blastocyst embryos and didn't get a single positive. We then moved to surrogacy in Ukraine and we Retrieved my eggs, got 5 blasts. 3 were transferred and we got a negative again! At this point I was ready to give up, and just scrap the 2 remaining embryos. Hubbie insisted we give it a go, what did we have to lose other than a couple more months? So we did, and now our surrogate is 9 weeks pregnant. 

What I'm trying to say is that you never know! So it completely depends on what you think is best for you. You'll have to weigh up the financials as well as the emotional implications of another failed cycle. 

Did you ever take steroids with your stimulations? I took them to lower my immune response, but I have since learnt that it helps to mature eggs also. Might be worth looking into. Also speak to your consultant about what they can do to make sure more of your eggs are mature. Are they retrieving them a little too early maybe? Is there any drugs that you can take while stimulating to help? I found that a lot of IVF clinics don't really use the newest techniques, and even though We used the best clinics in our area, I often did research myself and then went in for the consultations. 

Keep us posted on what you decide to do. 

Sxx


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## michellemichelle

@Stilltryingandhoping
this is what you have to do - you do not have to go to the consultation with empty hands, especially if we talk about going abroad, it is always best to make sure that the drs know what they are doing and that you have tried everything. it is so great that you have been successful with your attempts. and I am sure that it is not only your drs achievement but yours as well! 
the fact that you didn't give up and went for it still after so many attempts it is a lot. I admire your husband's and your perseverance. 
@ruby100
Honestly, I understand where you're coming from and all of your questions seem legit and right. the thing is I have no right to tell you what to do, it is up to you to decide. but as Stilltryingandhoping said it is better to do research and have a consultation. I would go to other clinics in my area and have conversations with doctors, asking them why I am not succeeding. well, I would like to wish you the best of luck! and do not be afraid to "irritate" your dr as it is your right to get some answers (well, it can be only my issue but still)


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## Joannag84

Hi everyone
I'm about to embark on the exciting journey of being a host surrogate for my bother and his partner. I'm just eager to hear anyone's personal journeys with similar scenarios. I really don't know anyone who's even had ivf so just don't have anyone to talk to about the whole thing. My brother and his partner are supportive but they obviously see it from a completely different side. I don't think my sis in law has any idea of what ivf involves etc they are just excited at the prospect of having a baby. Whereas I'm a nervous wreck about the hormones, responsibility etc. So any chat would be much appreciated. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Turia

Hi Joanna
What a great thing you are doing!

I've not been down the surrogacy route but have had IVF and am based in Scotland.  PM me if you want to ask any questions...
Turia x


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## M81

Hi everyone  

I have some questions that hopefully someone can help me with. I can't carry a child, nor do I have any eggs, due to radio and chemotherapy 
Thankfully I am cancer free now, and have been for more than 3 years, however it is hard when you can't have children on your own, and it takes a while to come to terms with the fact that you can't have your own biological children.
We have been through a lot, but we are also very lucky that my good friend has offered to carry a child for us, but she doesn't want to use her own eggs, and it's illegal to do gestational surrogacy in our country. Therefore we have to travel overseas to do it. 

I have written to some clinics un Ukraine, but I'm not getting an answer, so I want to ask some questions. First of all, I have no idea what kind of treatment we would need to do, is it called IVF? We want to use donor eggs and my soon to be husbands sperm. Also my friend wants to know if there are any medical tests she needs to get done before carrying a child for us?

Thanks so much


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## lotus123

Dear M81,

I have experience with Ukrainian clinic Biotexcom (surrogacy).
Till now I'm satisfied with their service and price.
I don't know if they can approve to use your SM, but I think that everything can be agreed with them. They are loyal.
But... If surrogacy is illegal in your country this SM should have delivery in Ukraine as well... So may be it is easier and cheaper to use Ukrainian SM, which can provide clinic.

Good luck o you!


----------



## M81

Hi Lotus123

And thanks for the answer. I should write Biotexcom and ask them.

Traditional surrogacy is allowed here actually, so my friend can have the baby here, and because my soon to be husband will be the biological father, she can give full custody of the child to him, so that's not an issue.

Now we just need to find a clinic who will help us  and to figure out which medical tests she needs to get done.


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## Stilltryingandhoping

Hi M81

Which country are you from? Feel free to inbox me, I'm with bioTeXCom
Too for surrogacy. You can ready my blog if you wish 

Www.oursurrogacyblog.worspress.com 

S xx


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## michellemichelle

@M81
Hi, my name is Michelle and I am as a lot of us have been sticking with biotexcom clinic in Ukraine. It is just so you know what clinic I have personally chosen for myself to have kids, we obviously went for surrogacy and with the God’s blessings we have succeed from our first attempt although it is perfectly find to have a baby from your second or third attempt especially when your clinic has unlimited attempts contracts. 
I think that any specialist can figure out what to do in your situation, I am not professional by any means however I think that if you write to biotex they will reply to you quickly but if you said that you had already sent a few emails to different Ukrainian clinics you might as well have sent one to biotexcom.. well, this  is only my assumption and that’s all.


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## M81

Hi michellemichelle

Congratulations and thanks for the answer  I have written biotexcom actually, I did on friday, and so far they haven't replied, I'm currently thinking about writing them again, but I'm not sure how quickly they usually reply?! 

I've been doing most of my research about Ukraine, and I hope we are able to go there to get the treatments we need. Biotexcom is also one of the first clinics I looked into, and it seems very good, hopefully we will get an answer from them soon


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## M81

Hi everyone 

Biotexcom replied to me yesterday, and they are happy to help us, yay  

Now we just have to figure out if we can to the various tests here, before travelling to Ukraine, but we have time, we will not go before autumn


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## Joannag84

Hi girls does anyone know the succes rate of ivf when you're using a donor egg. Iv heard a lot of different theories on this. I'm a host surrogate for my brother and his wife and we can't settle on a success rate 


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## beth_brown

Hi Everyone 
My name is Elizabeth and I've struggled with fertility issues for the last 5 years including an ectopic pregnancy and loss of one tube and then subsequently four failed IUI cycles 

According to our doctors, the only way forward is surrogacy to have a child. Clearly, we have very little idea about the entire process. We have heard that surrogacy could be very expensive too. So, we are lost completely, and I am here to learn more about it. Any suggestions, and advice on the process and any clinics we could refer to will be highly appreciated.


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## spaceman1950

Hi 
we are intended parents hoping for a surrogate baby in December.  we are wondering on how best to overcome bonding issues of the baby with its birth mother (including breast feeding)  . we intend to keep close contact with the birth mother during and after birth.  we wonder if any IP  out there who have experience of this would  be kind enough to offer any advice or simply share their experiences with us. Many thanks in Advance 

Sandra and Tony

Leicester


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## alnoora

Hi 
I was wondering if anyone knows if I can arrange a surrogate in the UK but I live in Abu Dhabi, UAE?

it would be using my own eggs and my husbands sperm?

any help would be appreciated


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## Besidetheseaside

Hi
I guess that's possible but I have no experience I'm afraid. 
One of my friends went to the Ukraine for surrogacy. 
It's much cheaper than England and closer to you. 
Good luck x


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## Minow

Hello lovely people. Although I have been on this site for many many years I have yet to join in on a surrogacy board - but here I am!

Would it be rude to jump straight in with a question? (that's not the question, although I agree it is a question ;-) )
It's to do with expenses and I guess it's a two part question....

Firstly, is it normal to be asked to cover all a surros childcare expenses for the entire duration of a pregnancy, not just those times where the pregnancy requires it (be it for medical, hospital visits or due to sickness or tiredness) but all their usual childcare expenses that they have even when not pregnant?

And secondly, is it considered bad form to ask your surro to give a breakdown of their expenses.

The reason I ask is that although we are not yet officially matched we are talking and a very large sum of money has been mentioned (far above what is often seen as reasonable) so it would be nice to see quite how they've come to the figure they have. We certainly aren't saying we wouldn't pay it but I'd like to know it really is fair.

Sorry, that probably all sounds very rude, and grumpy of me. But there is so much to being sure it's right, on both sides and I'm a leave no stone unturned kind of person. I just wondered if anyone with far more experience than me had any thoughts 

Thank you xx


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## ruby100

Dear Minow,

Firstly welcome . . .

I'm undergoing surrogacy in the UK currently as an IP couple.  I'm not a legal expert so my advice is only personal and what I've gleaned on our journey so far.

1. I'm not aware of this as being normal.  Usually you would cover childcare before the pregnancy for all appts etc (not as part of the overall expenses).  Once pregnancy is achieved then I would expect to cover any childcare for medical appointments or if suddenly the surrogate became unwell during the pregnancy and needed additional childcare support.  I don't think I would be intending to fund normal childcare arrangements unless she got them at a reduced price from work, for instance, and she's not planning on working during the pregnancy - or can't due to illness.

2. I don't think it's bad form and in some cases the Caffcass Officer will ask you and her about them anyway.  I think if you're being asked a vastly raised sum (more than £10,000 - £20,000) then I would be asking questions.  The Courts will want to know it was genuine expenses and although most amounts are ultimately agreed by the Courts, they may have more questions and you may have to go to court more times etc.  Happy to private message 'chat' if you want to. . . if I can be of any help . . 

Ruby x


----------



## Minow

Hi Ruby

Thank you so much for your reply. I've been asking around anywhere I can and your advice is the same as I'm getting elsewhere so that's good to know. Thank you!

I do hope your Surrogacy is going well. 

Minow xx


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## Lilly08

spaceman1950 said:


> Hi
> we are intended parents hoping for a surrogate baby in December. we are wondering on how best to overcome bonding issues of the baby with its birth mother (including breast feeding) . we intend to keep close contact with the birth mother during and after birth. we wonder if any IP out there who have experience of this would be kind enough to offer any advice or simply share their experiences with us. Many thanks in Advance
> 
> Sandra and Tony
> 
> Leicester


[email protected] welcome to the forum.. My husband and I are IP too. As far as I know the surrogate mother won't breast feed the baby. She is given a pill right after delivery to prevent it as well. Doctors don't recommend having the intended mother stimulated to breastfeed because some hormones can be harmful for the baby.
I believe you will have the bond with your baby as soon as you see him  which will be stronger with daily contact, caring, and all the love you have for him.


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## valstein

A surrogate mother we are considering came back positive for chlamydia in the tests. Doctor is advising this is not unusual and we can start the surrogacy treatment after taking antibiotics and if the second test shows no chlamydia. Online searches for chlamydia show it can be treated with antibiotics. But we think it is a risk starting the surrogacy with a person with this condition. Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated.


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## miamiamo

I can't give you any advice, just wanted to wish good luck


----------



## Bexster1981

Hi everyone, I’m just going through my last FET which if fails my beautiful friend has offered to be a surrogate - if there is any advice that you can offer or things to know I would greatly appreciate it 

I have 6 frozen blastocysts in storage for transfer and will be using the London women’s clinic in Cardiff


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## Twinkle428

Hey feel free to contact me I'm a surrogate for my friend x


Bexster1981 said:


> Hi everyone, I'm just going through my last FET which if fails my beautiful friend has offered to be a surrogate - if there is any advice that you can offer or things to know I would greatly appreciate it
> 
> I have 6 frozen blastocysts in storage for transfer and will be using the London women's clinic in Cardiff


Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk


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## amteach

Is it normal to have 3 failed attempts at GS?


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## Tracey42

Hi, 

I've been reading all the surrogacy forums on FF to gain an understanding of the process here and abroad. We'd really like to find a surrogate in the UK, Scotland would be perfect. I have read there are private groups on social media where IP and surrogates can chat. Would anyone be able to suggest how to be invited onto these? 

We've been ttc for so may years now, without success, we accept we need help to start a family, and we'd really like this to happen in the UK.

Thanks in advance for any advice


----------



## Dory10

Hi Tracey

The best place to start would be an organisation such as Surrogacy UK or COTS if you are considering surrogacy within the UK.  They can advise and support you in this journey.  It can be tricky as advertising for a surrogate is illegal so best to be in touch with an established organisation to help.

Good luck

Dory


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## Tracey42

Thanks Dory for getting back to me so quickly. I've been looking into surrogacy for over a year now and have contacted both the organisations you mentioned plus Brilliant Beginnings.  There are cost implications, plus my age, location and waiting lists of over a year. I was looking for a route that gave me more autonomy, with a shorter timescale and less initial cost, as surrogacy is not cheap.
T


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## Dory10

The waiting times abroad do seem much shorter but have the added obstacles of travel and accommodation, I hope you find a route that works for you soon xx


----------



## Mondra

hello to all my name is Mondra. I'm new here and would like to introduce myself. I'm 36 years old I want a child but because I do not have a uterus, I can not have it. I would like to find a surrogate mother. Can anyone have experience or who can advise a good clinic.


----------



## Dory10

Welcome Mondra, I'll move your post over to the surrogacy section.  there are clinics both in the UK and abroad with varying costs.  Within the UK organisations such as COTS and Surrogacy UK are a good place to start for information.

Dory
Xx


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## amteach

We are heading into our fourth attempt at a surro transfer. I think this time they are transferring 4 embryos. Just wondering if it is normal for it to take so many transfers? We have not done testing, but all of our embryos at this point have been rated top quality with no fragmentation. At this point we have gone through 8 embryos ( Transfer 1:2, Transfer 2: 3, Transfer 3: 3, 7 embryos left in the freezer). Thoughts?


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## Tracey42

Hi amtech & Mondra, 

amtech, are your embryos 5 day blastocysts and has the clinic informed you of their grade? This would be a good starting point. Also, are you working with the same surrogate for each attempt? Do you mind me enquiring which clinic you are with? 
As you know it's not an exact science, but as a process of elimination I would look at embryo quality, endometrium receptivity and possible immunes issues. Good luck

Modra, I'm in the process of researching surrogacy options in the UK and Europe. It's quite hard to find current forums and trust everything you read online. If I find anything that may help you I will happily share it here, good luck too.

Tx


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## amteach

Hello Tracey42,

The lab and clinic has informed me that all of our embryos, the first batch and second batch, were all rated a 1 and had no fragmentation. They froze all embryos on Day 3.

We used one surrogate mother after my first egg retrieval that resulted in 5 embryos. The first transfer was 2 and the second was 3 with bfn.

I changed doctors in my home country and did another egg retrieval after taking ubiquinol for 3 months and some other supplements. My medication protocol was changed and this time we ended up with 10 embryos on day 3 that were all rated as 1's. They were all frozen. We transferred into a new surrogate mother 3 of them. My clinic thaws and lets them grow for 24hours. At transfer, we had 2 compacting morulas and 1 early blastocyst. They had no fragmentation and were all rated excellent quality. This also resulted in a BFN. They transfer on Day 17-19 of the cycle.

We are gearing up for another transfer and are using the straw that has 4 embryos in it. Hoping for the best. Just wasn't sure if it was normal to take so many tries!

I am 38.


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## Lacerta

Hi, amtech, I'm sorry it's not working. I also had 3 failed surrogacy attempts. Even though I had a new surrogate for each transfer and changed egg donors, only the 4th attempt has been successful. We transferred 2 or 3 not PGS tested 5-day blasts each time. I don't know the reason for so many fails, that's just my luck I guess. I do hope the 4th will be successful for you too!


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## Mihrimah

Hi everyone,

I was extremely blessed to get pregnant through ED on the third attempt and welcome my son to this world in September 2017. He is perfect! 

We would now like to try for another baby if possible however I have a very complex medical history and it was a big risk for me to get pregnant in the first place. A second pregnancy is out of the question as the risks to me and the baby are too great. My son was born 6 weeks early and I developed serious complications just before and soon after delivery and this was us being very lucky indeed. We still have 3 other frozen embryos and it would be a matter of implanting those to a surrogate. If it works, great! If it doesn't, we wouldn't continue trying. 

I know absolutely nothing about surrogacy and it is really difficult to work out a realistic cost for it. I would be grateful if anyone can give me an approximate figure so that we know whether we may be able to go for it, should postpone the idea or should give up on it altogether. Many thanks!


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## miamiamo

Hi, congrats on your BFP and I am sorry to know about your complications. I have no dir experiences at all, but from what I have read suroggacy with donor eggs and partner semen costs 41,000 - 41,500 Euros in Ukraine and Georgia


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## partavh

We’ve had 2 natural miscarriages (bleeding at implantation time, low HCG and slow growth) and now a PGS tested embryo that didn’t stick. 

We’re now trying to decide whether to do more tests (ERA, Prof Brosens endometrial NK/CK biopsy, laparoscopy for asymptomatic endometriosis, etc) or get hardcore and go straight to a gestational carrier. My age and the gap between our first child (4 years old) and any potential sibling mean time is not on our side 

Wondering what other people’s experiences are?


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## CortneyWil

Hi ladies, so I have embarked on becoming a surrogate. I have no idea what I’m doing if I’m honest. I have joined a surrogacy uk group on ******** and have met a lady as an intended parent and have discussed most about our lives ie family and jobs ( all done over messenger (********). She’s been to a few SUK social meetings but she says she hasn’t met any surrogates there. Says she had a surrogate in past but miscarried early on in the pregnancy. She also has frozen embryos in the same clinic as me- destiny!!!
She’s asked me about expenses and I have no clue about this. Help!!! Need some much needed advice if anyone can help.
Thanks ladies.


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## AtomicBetty

Hello lovely people,

Was hoping to get some advice on surrogacy, I have done all the usual googling but don't really know where to begin. What have other people done and does anyone ever go abroad, is that more successful? We had a beautiful little boy by ivf in 2017, I was very sick and have been advised not to try again as it puts me at risk of a stroke. I have NO health problems when not pregnant. We have four little frosties and are desperate to give my son a sibling. So looking at surrogacy as an option using our embryos.  Any advice gratefully received


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## odashwood

I haven't been here for some time because of my last hard events and now, after recovery, I decided to write a post. Not sure if there are many of us here who are going to start or have already started their surr.programs but still, I hope I will find someone who is in the same boat with me. 
For those who don't know my sad story, I will tell a few words. It started more than 10 years ago. I have a very low reserve that is why it was almost impossible to conceive naturally. I had an ectopic an MC in the past. Also, I had 1 failed IVF with OE near 6 years ago and fell into a hard depression after that. After I got rid of the depression I decided to continue my journey and do everything possible to hear babies laugh in my house! I went to Ukraine and had 2 ICSI cycles with DE. One of them was negative and the 2nd one was positive. I couldn't help crying for two days as I didn't even expect such an outcome! But my happiness hadn't been lasting long. My dr told me that due to my health issues I had a big risk to lose my lo. My hcg didn't want to grow, I had some spottings and lost my tiny on the 7th week. I was probably ready for that but still, it was hard for me to go through this again. 
The place where I have my treatment suggested me to switch to one of their surrogacy programs as my package allows me to do this without losing money so I decided to accept their suggestion and in a month I'm signing another contract and keep continuing my journey. This time will definitely work out, I know that! I am sure and I truly believe!


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## miamiamo

I am sorry to know your story, and I will you all the best on your journey. x


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## odashwood

Thank you, dear. I'm sure that everything will be alright as this time my health issues won't have any impact on pregnancy. Donors eggs will be healthier than mine and surrogate mother won't have such problems as I do that is why I am sure that everything will be alright. I'll be the happiest mom in the world if I'll have a chance to have twins)). Time will show


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## odashwood

Hello everybody. 
Never before I have noticed that humanity is evolving so quickly. Some countries are moving forward at the speed of light, while others are dying of poverty. Where's the justice? When we are young we are trying not to conceive and use all the protection we can and when we become older we are trying to get pregnant and very often it is nor an easy thing. the same happened to me. 
I haven't been snooping around the bowels of the Internet for a long time and then decided to read some news and articles about problems of infertility. I stumbled upon an article that has drawn my attention and decided to post it here just in case.
Has anyone heard something about u and uterus transplantation or autotransplantation of endometrial tissue? Oh God, I have never heard about this and can't even imagine how it can be done! Take only a look at this: https://biotexcom.com/uterus-transplantation-or-autotransplantation-of-endometrial-tissue-what-is-more-effective/
If it may help, women will have a chance to have this treatment without using surrogacy services. Would you try it?


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## db1234

Reading through the UK guidelines Surrogacy is treated similar to adoption from a leave entitlement point of view. For adoption the rules say one parent is entitled to 6 weeks leave at 90% pay and other parent is entitled to paternity leave for 2 weeks. How does it work if only the husband is employed? Is the Husband entitled to take 6 weeks leave?


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## db1234

Apologies for the long post. I have gone through a number of documents on the gov.uk website but could not get good answers to a few items about the process. 

We are having a surrogate child born outside the UK. The parents are British and the surrogate mother is single. I understand there are two routes to bring the child to the UK

1. Right to Abode or certificate of entitlement 
2. Applying for the British Passport. 

From what I read right abode should be faster than the British Passport route. Baby will first need to get a passport for the foreign country and then apply for the Certificate of entitlement with necessary documents. 

Question 1) I understand that if the baby has a British Passport he/she cant apply for the certificate of entitlement. Does the prohibition apply the other way also? Can I apply for a British passport for the baby when the Certificate of Entitlement process is in progress ( or approved)? Does granting of the Certificate of Entitlement prevent the baby from getting British Passport in future. 

Question 2) How is the passport application made. Is it made at the British Embassy or are the documents sent to HMPO in the UK. The online documentation is not very clear on this. 

Question 3) One of the surrogacy guides mention the need to have a Consular Birth Certificate. Is this required? Some of the documents just refer to needing an official translation of the foreign Birth Certificate.


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