# Don't know what to do with my frosties



## vixen1 (Mar 24, 2007)

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for, maybe someone who feels the same...

I am totally blessed to have two amazing little boys from ICSI at the ARGC and I have 9 day 6 embryos in the freezer. On one hand I know how incredibly lucky I am, not only to have my two little boys but to also have so many frozen. The trouble is I know there's going to come a time when I'm going to have to sign a peice of paper allowing for 'disposal' of my embryos. Even typing that makes me feel sick   

I've still not decided whether or not we'll try for any more (that's a whole other issue!   ) but I know that even if we do we certainly won't use all 9. That means that the day will come when I'll have to let go of them. I know they're not little people but they are embryos and they are my boys' brothers and sisters    I just can't get my head around it. I never even thought this would be an issue. I was delighted to have so many frozen but now I'm just so sad for them.

I know that donating them is an option but this is also something I can't come to terms with. I REALLY wish I could but there's just so much to think about and I really don't see this as an option for me.  

Anyone feel the same?


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## Mish3434 (Dec 14, 2004)

Hi

I'm in the same boat.  I have 7 grade 1 embies in the freezer.  I'm lucky to have 1 DD born from the cycle that I have the frosties.  I also have a natural miracle DS born 2 years later.  My DH won't consider donating them as they are full siblings to DD and DS.

I have just received the letter that the 5 years is up in Nov 09 and we now are forced to make a decision.  I had a rough old pg the last time and 2 traumatic emergency C's so whilst I know my family is complete the thought of signing the paper to let the embies "perish" make me feel sick.

Good luck with your decision, maybe you could do what I have done and leave it the full 5 years and if you haven't used them by then maybe the decision will be easier.

Shelley x


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## vixen1 (Mar 24, 2007)

Hi Shelley,

Thanks for your reply. I will definitely wait the full five years but even now it's on my mind every day.   I have a friend at work who has also come to the end of her 5 years and she said she can get an extension for a further 5...

I really think there should be some sort of counselling for this  

Good luck with everything xx


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## TwoBumps (Nov 22, 2007)

Hi Vixen,
We're in a _similar_ position to you, although we haven't managed to get pregnant yet... we're working on it "as we speak" tho!
You'll see from my signature that we use donor sperm & we've had 2 failed IVF cycles so far. From the 1st cycle we have 1 frozen embryo & we have 5 from the 2nd cycle. 
Our problem is that we used a different donor for the 1st cycle. His sperm didn't thaw very well & the clinic had to perform ICSI. The embryo we froze was showing 5% fragmentation & we just have a feeling that we may not get a positive result with that embryo. Because our other embryos are from our current donor, we would have to use the single one on it's own in a cycle & we worry that we would end up not even getting to transfer. So our dilema is what to do with that particular embryo. It's going to be a tough decision when the time comes as I know we are incredibly lucky to have any frozen embryos at all.

I noticed from your signature that you had your babies from your 3rd attempt. As this is also our 3rd attempt, I wondered if you did anything differently that time? I'm taking Clexane & Prenisolone this time (as a precaution, I've not had any additional tests) & I'm also having weekly accupuncture & listening to an IVF CD each day. We're throwing everything we can at it this time so hopefully we'll be taking our embryos to blastocyst stage too. 

Good luck with your decision,
Lottie x


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## vixen1 (Mar 24, 2007)

Aww, Lottie I really hope this is the one for you  . The main difference was a change in clinic. The drugs prescribed by the ARGC really made a difference and, like you, I was on Clexane and Prednisolone. Although I also took other drugs I frimly believe these were the ones that made the most difference so hopefully it will for you too!!

If you want to know more about my cycle you can read my 2ww diary which is buried somewhere in the 2WW section. I talk about all the different drugs I took and described all my symptoms each day (and obviously ended in a positive result).

I really never considered how difficult it would be to decide what to do with my remaining embryos. I really think it needs to be something that they offer counselling and advice for. Having said that, I would still have had all nine frozen!!

Good luck, I'd love to know how it goes and give me a shout if you have any other questions!   xxx


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## Tinx (Sep 2, 2005)

I am sooooo glad that i am not alone!! The worry over our 11 frosties started in Nov 06 after our 1st IVF treatment. Even then I was gutted at the thought of losing any. I love aech and every cell of all of them! My treatment was amazingly successful! We have an incredibly wonderful daughter and we feel so very blessed. sometimes I could burst with the love I feel for her. We are now thinking of having a fet in the summer, if not early spring! I am both incredibly excited and scared!! I dread the treatment failing as Iknow what I will be missing. I dread the thawing stage as I worry my little ones wont survive, yet I also worry more than 2 will be of good quality and that we cant put them all back in. Then, when we have completed our family, there will probably be some left, even if we try for a number 3, we may still have some little frosties, and as you say, the thought of a "disposal" is sickenening. We initially thought wew would donate them but are now in a state about that! Its such a BIG thing. We have only just reached the 2 year stage but 5 years looms ever closer. Those couples lucky enough to concieve naturally dont have any of this extra worry on their shouldres. Its so hard.

Let me know what you are thinking!!

Glad that I am not alone in my agony, its so hard to try and explain this to my friendss, they are clueless as not having been through this stress its all alien to them.

Best wishes, TINX xx


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## vixen1 (Mar 24, 2007)

Tinx - What a relief to know I'm not the only one! It has just been so on my mind lately even though it's years away. Most people don't undrstand, I think a lot of that comes from people not realising that they are actually 6 day old embryos, they seem to think they're unfertilised eggs. I think I'm just going to have to come to terms with it somehow   

Thanks for your reply, hopefully we can all get some comfort that we're not alone    xx


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## Tinx (Sep 2, 2005)

Hi ya Vixen,

I agree, nobody really thinks that they have come from these little embryos. They are sooo sooo small, yet they are sooo sooo significant. People talk about having them destroyed with no regard for what they represent. I agree, we will have to come to terms with it somehow. I am praying that nature takes over for me and we dont have to make any of the tough decisions. It would be so terribly heartbreaking if they dont surivive the thawing process but then the worry is out of my hands. as long as I have enough to go through fet ( and succeed of course!!) then it will be wonderful!

I wish you much love and happiness xxx
Tinx


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## vixen1 (Mar 24, 2007)

Thanks Tinx, good luck with it all and let me know how it goes!!!


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## Emma70 (Feb 17, 2006)

((Hugs))
We have 5 year old non i/d twin girls from ICSI and 8 embies in the freezer.  We want another baby, but I'm not sure how I'd handle failed attempts at FET knowing those 8 were all we had.  We can't get rid of them because of what they could become.
Gah.  It's such a complicated thing to go through, so many emotions.....


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## vixen1 (Mar 24, 2007)

Emma - Yes, so complicated   That's one of my major reasons for not being sure about whether to try for number three - not sure how it would affect me and my family if it failed  

I notice that your girls are 5... were you able to extend the time period on your frosties?  

Good luck with everything xxx


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## mountainlion (Aug 13, 2006)

We have 2 children from 2 transfers, and still have 2 frosties.
Our family is really complete with a boy and a girl, but because we have 2 frosties left we feel we have to give them a chance. I thought about donating them, which we have no problems with, but know they have the best success with a transfer into me [because of 2 successful pregnancies already from only 2 transfers] 
I started off hoping that the next and final transfer would result in a BNF [that way I have given them a chance, but don't have to worry about providing and caring for another sibling] now as time proceeds, I am hoping for a BFP from this transfer and will worry about the implications later [realistically in our case just things like having to move and cut back on things like holidays] Also we have even decided that if our frosties dont survive the thaw, we will take a donor embryo from our clinics 'rehoming program' and give that embryo a chance to life. [IM Barcelona, which is our clinic, has a pool of embryos left over from couples who have completed their families but don't want themselves to make the decision to destroy their embryos, they then hand over the decision of what to do with these embryos to the clinic. As IMs doctors believe life starts at conception, these embryos are offerred a second chance by their 'rehoming program'. This is well written up for anyone wishing to read the ethics and practicalities of this on the Instituto Marques website]
Obviously are thoughts on this are partly influenced by the fact that we were only able to have a family in the 1st place due to the generosity of the lady who donated her eggs to us in the 1st place, and who we will forever be indebted to.

Wishing you the best on this sensitive and difficult subject,
Regards, The Mountainlion family.


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## Tikki (Mar 30, 2005)

Hi ladies,

I have been reading your thread with interest as I to have a crop in the freezer. I have a little boy from my ARGC cycle who is 2 in a couple of weeks and am currently nearly 11 weeks pregnant from a FET earlier this year. We initially had 12 blasts on ice which were a mix of day 5 & 6 and in total 4 were defrosted of which 2 didn't make the thaw and 2 that were put back, one implanted..

I do not know what we will do with the 8 remaining really but what I do know is that what I cannot do is donate them as as someone has said they are full siblings to my child/ children... I have always thought that I could so egg donation but not embryo...

I don't think that I will want another child if we have 2 as I have found the process much harder this time round and am obviously not getting  any younger.... I do not like to think about them being destroyed though but I do like to think of them as my insurance policy....

Maybe when the 5 years is up and I will hopefully have a 5 year old and a 2 and a half year old I may just think 'one last go' and defrost all 8 for the final go or just let them go....

I do not think of them all as babies and statistically they are not as my FET shows with 1 out of 4 making a pregnancy which if you think of it in that way means that maybe there are 2 viable embryos in there still....

It is a very hard and personal decision to have to make and I am a big believer in not confronting this issue until it has to be confronted....

Just my rambling thoughts...
Tikki. xx


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## sahara (Feb 12, 2004)

Hi ladies

I have just seen this post and this is where i am right now.

I had to make the decision as my embies came to the end of the 3 years, i thought i had it straight in my mind that i would let them go, but when it came down to the day before i just could not do it, i was so suprised how much i was upset, i had been crying for a week. so rang the clinic and got them to freeze them for another 2 years.
Now i feel that the only way i can sort this is to do a FET and see what happens, I only have 3 frosties. If i get a BFP then that great but if not then at least i have given them a chance.

I am jut worried that if i get an eptopic (as i have tubal probs and need it draining during FET) then i am in trouble as i have so much scar tissue form so much surgey then it would be a very dificult op to remove the tube. Or if i end up having a miscarrage at a later stage. I am thinking worst case here, but i just dont want to be selfish by having another baby and losing out on time with my wonderful daughter who is such a dream to be with.
So, I am ging to keep everything crossed and see what happens as i have tried to just let them go and it was just to hard.

sarah x


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