# New to IVF & wanted to say hello :-)



## surfgirl82 (Sep 24, 2011)

Hi everyone,

My wife and I have been referred to our local clinic to start IVF. It's been a random road! As you can probably see from my signature. Anyway long story short, last year I had a lap & dye and the guy who did it is the clinical lead for the assisted conception unit in our city. He suggested as all my tests were fine that we go for IVF with donor sperm to give us the best chance of a baby. We went away and thought about it but didnt feel ready on many levels. In hindsight it was probably a good thing as from then my thyroid decided to pack up! Our first month trying since I started thyroxine I had an early miscarriage and after that we decided we'd been on this road long enough with its twists & turns and felt now was the right time to go for IVF.

I had to really get my head around it all but I'm there now. So we're just waiting for an appointment to drop through the letter box. So I just thought I'd say hello and chat with other gay couples who have been/ about to go through IVF. Hope everyone is well whatever stage you're at  x


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

Hi, good luck with your upcoming treatment! My wife and I are due to start this month.


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## annie.moon (Sep 16, 2012)

Hi surfgirl. Good luck with your treatment. 

My first round of IVF and FET didn't work, but they can't find anything wrong, so we're hoping we were just unlucky. We just moved to a new clinic closer to home and will be starting IVF again soon.  Any questions, just ask.

Annie xx


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## surfgirl82 (Sep 24, 2011)

Hi Sarah & Annie! 

Thanks so much for the replies. How are you feeling about starting treatment Sarah? 
It must feel exciting and daunting at the same time x

Annie, I'm sorry it hasn't worked out as yet but like you say I'm sure it just hasn't been your time yet. I think that's the thing with ivf, its an increased chance but its down to the right time. Which doesn't help when you're trying hard! Fingers crossed you'll be third time lucky! x

I had a little cry this morning thinking why can't I just get pregnant from having sex! (although not that straight forward for many I know) I think I get upset because I'm broody and we started this 2yrs ago. I'm really impatient! Anyway got my bum out in the garden & started planting some flowers & I feel better now  

Hope you are both looking after yourselves and doing something nice in the sun xx

P.S I started reading zita west's guide to fertility & assisted conception and have found that really good, although I have to leave it sometimes otherwise I get preoccupied with it & do my own head in!


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

Good luck with your treatment too, Annie, hope it'll be your turn this time.

I'm excited, it's daunting too that's for sure but now it's actually getting started, I'm more excited. I work weekends so I've been jealous of everyone enjoying the sun!

It's ok to have a cry now and again. I was really upset when I found out my tubes were blocked - it felt so unfair that people fall pregnant accidentally every day but my body was telling me I wasn't meant to be a parent. It's definitely a long process but our children will all know how wanted they are because we've had to work so hard to have them.


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## annie.moon (Sep 16, 2012)

Sarah - I know exactly what you mean. All our babies will know how much we wanted them. It's such a tough process. I was at a party yesterday with so many pregnant women. They were all chatting about their babies and bumps. I just felt so rubbish. But our times will come. Need to be positive.

Surfgirl - I have that book too. I have found it really useful. I also got the zita west relaxation cd, which is great.

Lots of love ladies,  Annie xx


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## surfgirl82 (Sep 24, 2011)

Hey sarah hope your getting on ok, where are you up to? You're right about our children will be very much wanted and know that  

Annie, how are you feeling? Hope you've had a good week. I can understand how you must have felt while at the party, I've felt like that at times. Sometimes it's the day after it catches up with me. I hope you're ok. Ooh I was going to check out her relaxation cd, I might download it from itunes xx


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

I'm good thank you, taking it all in my stride. I'm waiting to downreg on the 25th, not long to go now. How are you? It's good that the sun has still been shining.


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## anicca79 (Sep 29, 2012)

Hi all,

I've just been matched for egg share IVF and wanted to say hello too  I've just bought the relaxation CD too, hoping it works miracles for all of us. It seems like a very long and difficult journey for some of you on here and sorry to read of your miscarriage surfgirl so I hope IVF will bring happy results for you soon!

My wife and I have come at things from a different angle. We researched doing IUI but decided the odds weren't good enough and we couldn't afford it, then discovered I was getting too old for egg share IVF (the only way we could afford it) so we went for this option straight away. We're really happy and excited (!) but to be honest also both struggling mentally a little with going straight from nothing to a fairly invasive treatment. Our heads need to catch up! I've read a lot of people talk about how they've explored lots of treatments and they're finally ready for this but I'm having trouble feeling ready. I'm even having trouble with the process because it feels like most people having IVF have researched it for years and I barely understand the process. One of the nurses even talked about IUI as something people go through to prepare themselves mentally for IVF which seemed madness to me! 

It can all feel quite scary in the beginning yet I'm also completely elated at the same time! What a rollercoaster of emotions. I hope everyone is doing well x


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

Hi anicca, welcome. I felt similarly when I was told I needed IVF - we went from thinking we would try IUI to finding my tubes were damaged and IVF was the only option. You'll find this site a great support, there's so much info and first-hand experiences. I've learned a lot and I've not had my first cycle yet. It's definitely scary, but there's so much info out there to help.


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## anicca79 (Sep 29, 2012)

Thanks, good to know we're not the only ones! My wife and I keep spontaneously bursting into tears which is so unlike her particularly it's nuts. I'm thinking of acupuncture to help with the stress as well as maybe improving our chances. Anyone any experience of this? x


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## surfgirl82 (Sep 24, 2011)

Hi annica! Yeah I know exactly what you mean about feeling overwhelmed re ivf. Having got pregnant with my daughter completely unplanned (I was at uni at the time) in a straight relationship, I really had to get my head around not being able to get pregnant easily again (poss due to my thyroid before it was diagnosed). We opted for ivf also because of the cost of iui and the chances.

What really helped me was thinking about the reasons why I was doing it rather than how and also I've been reading zita west's guide to fertility & assisted conception- it's a fab book, answered a lot of my questions about ivf and helped me feel more relaxed about it. I'm like some zita west advocate haha! Also I've read a book called ivf, an emotional companion by bridgid moss, it's a beautifully written book, makes you cry at times (I did anyway!) but great to read other women's stories of going through ivf, all of them arriving there through different roads.

Hope some of my ramblings help! Xx

Sarah- do you start dr soon? Eek! Take care xx

Hi to Annie too, hope you are ok xx


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

anicca - I've heard lots of good things about acupuncture, though I've never tried it myself. I'm not sure it'd be for me but so many people swear by it for relaxation.

surfgirl - I've heard lots of good things about Zita West, too, I might see what I can get for my Kindle. I start DR tomorrow, nervous but mostly excited!


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## surfgirl82 (Sep 24, 2011)

Hey Sarah how is it all going? Where are you up to? Hope your feeling ok   x


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

Hi, I'm well thanks for asking! On day 10 of downreg today, scan on Thursday.Hoping I'll be ready for stimms but I'm not getting my hopes up cos AF hasn't arrived yet. I've been really lucky with the side effects, don't seem to be having any problems other than feeling hungrier. 

Hope you're well.


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## sibbnchaz29 (Mar 28, 2012)

Hey there, 

My partner and I are on the same journey, Have been on the waiting list now for just over 3 months to await treatment. We 1st started seeking advice 2-3years ago so it has been a long journey, but we both feel soo ready now and I cant wait.

Like you I came on here to talk to other lesbian couples who are going through the same thing.

I hope all works out well for everyone that has posted on here xx


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

Hi sibbnchaz, welcome. How long is your waiting list do you know? Hope it's not too long to wait for you. Is it IUI or IVF you're considering?


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## chellelauz (Jun 30, 2013)

Hey Ladies, its great to read all ur posts and to see that we r all in similar sorts of situations!  I have been obsessed with this forum reading everything since we have came into this rollercoaster of an experience lol

Me and Chelle are starting our treatment in September/October with our egg collection and embryo transfer hoping to be the first week of November, only went to our first appointment on July 2nd and its gone pretty fast from then on so still hard to get our heads around it all and unsure of a lot of things too....  We did look into egg sharing about a year ago with a different clinic but levels were too low  so now we are going down a different route with a different clinic.

Are any of you doing Partner to partner ivf?

Ive seen a few times now about 'down regulation' but it wasn't mentioned at any of our appointments so far so we don't really know what it means, is it the actually time u start medication?

I have so many questions, think i will be ordering this book you have mentioned lol

Would love to know more about the where you are all at with the process.

Take care
Lauz x


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## surfgirl82 (Sep 24, 2011)

Hey ladies!

Sarah sorry for the late reply, had a crap few days! I've had a word with myself and I'm alright now! How's it going? Are you nearer to starting stimms now? Hope it's ticking along good x

Hi sibbnchaz! Hope you guys are ok, your definitely not alone on your journey! X

Hi chellelauz! How are you both doing? It must be good to have dates but I know it doesn't always help with the passing of time! We looked at partner to partner ivf a few yrs ago as my wife had been an egg donor, so plan was her eggs & me to carry. But we just didn't have the money for it at the time and I wanted to try at home first. She's 37 now and when she wanted to donate eggs again the other year her blood tests where slightly under what they should be & they couldn't use her as a donor. She was sad about not being able to help another couple bless her  So we've missed the boat on that now! 

Afm have a thyroid test today to see if its finally playing ball! Once that and repeat hormone tests are back we've got an app with the consultant at beginning of sept & should be able to get stuff moving!
Quick question re sperm- did your clinic have some or have you had to import? There is barely any at our clinic so we are going to import from xytex in the US. Bit more costly but we didn't want to wait. Just wondered if anyone had any experience with importing etc xx


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## chellelauz (Jun 30, 2013)

We r going to use xytex too as our clinic only have 4, more info about this would be good for us too....as we will have to get ours sorted in next month or so


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## surfgirl82 (Sep 24, 2011)

Hey, they haven't told us anything but we did some of our own research. We looked at the banks website and you can look at donors but when you register (which you have to pay) you can access photos if they have some. I was impressed with the amount of info you get- the usual stuff but also interests and you get the medical history of siblings, parents and grandparents on both sides- which is way more than the eye colour, hair colour & height you would get from uk donor!
Apparently you can piggy back with other orders going to your clinic so that you can split the cost. That's all I know though, oh apart from our consultant said its the best sperm haha!


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## sibbnchaz29 (Mar 28, 2012)

sarahsuperdork said:


> Hi sibbnchaz, welcome. How long is your waiting list do you know? Hope it's not too long to wait for you. Is it IUI or IVF you're considering?


Hey there....

We went on the waiting list on the 30th April. Our DR said it would be 1-3months waiting list with a possible delay for the donor sperm. We are in N.Ireland so there apparently is a shortage. I contacted them a few weeks back and the Nurse had said the patients who were being funded through the NHS and who required DS were being treated now and then it would be the private patients, so hopefully that will be us. I am expecting some word around the end of september.

The hospital we are attending doesnt offer IUI with DS...So we are going for ICSI....we have been informed that if the quality of the sperm is WOW lol then it will change to IVF but to maximise our chances ICSI was the option. Heres hoping. I cant wait to be going through the motions of preparing for the treatment.

As and from tomorrow I am cutting out caffine and going to have little or no alcohol. I am also starting on them pregnacare conception tablets along with 300mg of omega 3 fish oil.
Has anyone else being taking any supplements in preparation for treatment. Also as I plan to cut out caffine can anyone suggest what other hot drinks works for them esp as I love my cup of coffe in the AM and PM.

xx
siobhan x


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## sibbnchaz29 (Mar 28, 2012)

P.s Hey surfgirl....Hope all is well xx


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

I've cut out alcohol and coffee too, I drink fruit teas when I want something hot but it's been so warm lately that I've mostly stuck to water and squash. I tried a glass of milk in the morning in place of coffee but it didn't agree with my stomach.  So I'll have to think again on that. I take a pregnancy multivitamin but that's it. Oh, I'm doing stimms now so I'm eating brazil nuts with breakfast as well.

Our donor sperm is Scandinavian because there's a shortage here too.


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## sibbnchaz29 (Mar 28, 2012)

sarahsuperdork said:


> I've cut out alcohol and coffee too, I drink fruit teas when I want something hot but it's been so warm lately that I've mostly stuck to water and squash. I tried a glass of milk in the morning in place of coffee but it didn't agree with my stomach.  So I'll have to think again on that. I take a pregnancy multivitamin but that's it. Oh, I'm doing stimms now so I'm eating brazil nuts with breakfast as well.
> 
> Our donor sperm is Scandinavian because there's a shortage here too.


I haave read somewhere that hot lemon juice is very good in the mornings, especially for women ttc. I literally am addicted to coffee, my DW is in for a bumpy ride the next few weeks lol.... 
So stimming......does that mean that you are growing your eggs in preparation for fertilisation. Sorry I do no wat happens but a little unfamiliar with the correct terminoloy lol.......I also heard nuts are extremley good. I was thinking onreplacing my coffee with green tea but have read it absorbs too much folic acid, it can ounteract it, also chamomile can have aborton like effects....I dont no how much of his is frue, I am doing my own head in. Think next week ia am going to make a visit to a nurse or family planning dr lol.....now can u imaginemy por children, heyll be marched to the doctors for having a runny nose lol.

When is ur egg extraction the super..
I am siobhan btw x


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## sibbnchaz29 (Mar 28, 2012)

P.s please ignore sp I am not on my computer and this tablet will be the death of me lol.


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

Hi Siobhan, there's so much conflicting info online that it's difficult to know what's what! I read the same about green tea; it's the tannin in it that causes problems with folic acid uptake. Some sites say you're ok as long as you take your folic acid at a different time to drinking the tea but others say avoid it. Personally, I've been avoiding it just in case. 

Yep, that's about what stimming is. I'm taking daily injections to grow my follicles ready for egg collection. EC should be around the 21st if all goes to plan, so just over a week. I love my tablet but the autocorrect is a pain!


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## sibbnchaz29 (Mar 28, 2012)

R the injections sode. Did you have to down regulate or wer u n short protocall. Hopefully there will be plentyy to collect xx keep me posted


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

I'm on long protocol so I was on down reg for 2 weeks. Thanks, I'll keep you posted!


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## surfgirl82 (Sep 24, 2011)

Just catching up- Sarah good luck for your EC today!   
Hi to everyone else   xx


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

Thanks surfgirl, hope you're well! I got 11 eggs and should find out tomorrow how many fertilised.


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## surfgirl82 (Sep 24, 2011)

That's brilliant!   I'll keep everything crossed for you that as many fertilise as possible   x


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## sibbnchaz29 (Mar 28, 2012)

Aww that is fantastic news sarah well done, heres hoping now each and evety one of them fertilise.........been thinking about u xx

hey surfgirl x


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

Thanks both for the thoughts.  7 fertilised as of this morning. Will find out more about quality in the next couple of days, transfer will either be Thu or Sat!


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## sibbnchaz29 (Mar 28, 2012)

ooohhh sooo exciting mrs, i am so chuffed for you and DW xxxx           

have you deciced how many you will transfer?


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

I think due to my age (I'm only 27) they will only want to transfer one but I'm ok with that, hopefully we can freeze some as well!


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## sibbnchaz29 (Mar 28, 2012)

Have you got a say in the matter?  

My DR said the same, me being 29 she said all depending on the quality of the fertilised egg they would encourage to transfer only one, but the end decision would remain with myself and charlene x  

aww yous must be buzzing xx


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

I don't know if I can decide, because we're NHS it tends to mean you're get what you're given but we'll see! I'm confident enough in their knowledge at the clinic to think they'll do what's best for us, whatever they recommend. We're really excited yeah, not long to go now until transfer!


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## sibbnchaz29 (Mar 28, 2012)

hey sarah, this fone of mine is playing up, it wouldnt let me reply yesterday.....good luck for your transfer if its happening today hun xx ill be thinkn off you all day xx


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## surfgirl82 (Sep 24, 2011)

Just a quick one as I'm on holiday, Sarah now is it all going & how are you feeling? I would be completely insane by now! 
Hi to everyone else hope you're all ok and enjoyed the weekend x


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

Hi to you both, thank you for your thoughts!  I'm now 2dp5dt and already going crazy. The next few days are supposed to be implantation days so I'm going to be analysing every twinge. I hope the next 2 weeks go by quickly!


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## sibbnchaz29 (Mar 28, 2012)

What does the 2dp5dt mean..lol is that a good thing..lol


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

It's how many days past transfer.  Today I'm 5 days past a 5 day transfer, so 5dp5dt.


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## surfgirl82 (Sep 24, 2011)

Congrats Sarah you must be so excited! Gosh don't know if I'll ever see a positive test, hope ivf is straightforward for us! Look after yourself & enjoy xx


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

Thanks surfgirl, we're over the moon!  You'll get there, hope it's as straightforward for you as it has been for us.


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## sibbnchaz29 (Mar 28, 2012)

Hey hunni, a big big big HUGE congratulations awww I am soo chuffed for you xxxx well done and heres hoping the next 9 mnths will go smoth for u xx


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