# Taking a child out of school due to ivf abroad



## its the hope that hurts (Mar 19, 2014)

Hi
Has anyone  done this?  How were the  school?  My child  does not  legally  have  to be at school  yet but it still  feels  like  a  big deal. 
The  reason  not to  leave  him with  daddy is
He really  misses me and worries about  me dying  since the  ectopic. Even  if  doesn't  see me for a  few hours 
Dad may be on call for  work 
He would  have  to  go to  before  and after  school  club every day  which  he's  not used to

Thanks


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## jdm4tth3ws (May 20, 2012)

hi its the hope that hurts.
i would have thought that if he doesnt have to be in school legally yet, there shouldnt be a problem for you to take him away during term time. it could also depend on what part of the country you're in. England- a letter should be sufficient. scotland you may well have to ask permission. it could be prudent to ask permission even if youre in the UK,  and if refused, pull a sickie. after all, he's not legally required to be in school, so they shouldnt have a leg to stand on. if they get nowty with you quote the law back at them. 
good luck hun
jade x


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## its the hope that hurts (Mar 19, 2014)

Thanks  Jade.

I  hadn't  thought  of  a letter.  I  am  talking  to  the  teacher  today but will  do a letter  if i decide  to take him with  me. Thanks 
I will  probably  tell the teacher  it's ivf which  might  explain  the  unpredictability of it.  But just  call it medical  treatment  in the  letter. 
I  would  just  do a sickie  but I  think  he might  tell someone  lol


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## fififi (Mar 16, 2011)

School will need a letter or request for absence application form filling in. The class teacher can't do anything it's the head teacher you need to speak to.
I think it's unlikely you will get approved absence as this is only for "exceptional circumstances" and as compassionate as the Head might be to your situation they are tied to conditions laid down by local authority/govt.
If your child was over 5 youd probably be told that the time out of school will therefore be classed as "unauthorised absence". Sounds bad but actually has little importance to you or your child, certainly whilst in early years of education. I'm a teacher & have taken my dd out of school a couple of times for things that were unauthorised. It only becomes an issue for you if these absences are regular or account for more than 5% of school year. The school gets penalised by pupil absences and can affect their ofsted so important that they keep pupils in school as much as can.

Whilst your son hasnt reached the term after his 5th birthday most schools can be a lot more lenient as while they prefer you not to take your child out of school the stats for reception age pupils don't affect their overall stats in same way.

Id suggest writing letter to headteacher stating that you are needing to take your son out of school as you are receiving medical treatment abroad that you are not able to get locally. As he is so young and you are his primary carer it's not practical that you can leave him home with friends/extended family for the amount of time you will be away. Even if Dad isn't going to be going with you I wouldn't mention this in your letter - let them assume he will be.

Don't worry about the school aspect or feeling the need to share your personal business.
Hope you have a successful cycle and enjoy a mini holiday whilst getting a sibling for your boy x


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## its the hope that hurts (Mar 19, 2014)

Thanks fififi!  You mean it's not helpful for me to tell the school every detail of our lives   
They knew about the ectopic because due to what was happening we ended  up telling my son a couple of weeks before he started school.  

THanks, it's very helpful to have a teachers perspective.


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## Sky_blue_purple (Jan 2, 2015)

Totally agree with fififi (I'm an assistant ht), even if the absence ended up being unauthorised and incurring a fine(of £60) which it wouldn't as your child is under 5, your future family is more important. Our authorised/unauthorised absences are agreed through a cluster of quite a few schools and for us we discourage families from taking their under 5s on holiday so it is the same rules across the schools however, we get quite a few 'sick' children each year who come back to school with lovely ski goggle tans!


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## its the hope that hurts (Mar 19, 2014)

Thanks ladies.  I wrote the head a nice email and they are fine with it.    told the teacher too and they gave me some extra books to read with him.  I was really impressed with them.  x


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## fififi (Mar 16, 2011)

Great news. I'm sure that's a weight off your mind.
Lots of luck


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## its the hope that hurts (Mar 19, 2014)

Yes    thanks for your help


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