# HELLO again



## Louise25 (Jan 31, 2005)

Hi everyone

I cannot remember the last time i was here but it's good to be back 

We've been TTC for baby #2 now for 4 years. I have a 9 year old boy, who is getting big and desparatly wants not to be an only child. We love him to bits and know how lucky we are to have him, and would love to make him a big brother.
I was diagnosed with mild endo and PCOS over 3 years ago and was referred to Coventry unit since september. We have tried to bump start ovulation by trying clomid 3 times, with absolutly no joy. Those ovaries just do not want to co-operate.
I'm currently on Metformin which is to be combined with clomid in 2 months. Horrible side affects at first, but great for weight loss 
Am currently with slimming world and have lost my first stone tonight, Hopefully.

Anyhow. Would love to talk to anyone, about anything and say hi, and just basically love somewhere to hide out amongst women who understand exatly what infertility feels like.
Does anyone else feel the world is an insensitive lump of crap sometimes      
What coping mechanisms do you guys use when those closest to you are falling pregnant and popping out their own sprogs ??

Anyway, thats me for now, hope to speak to you all soon
Love
Lou


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## pinkpear (Feb 8, 2006)

hi Lou 

i am trying for baby number 2. natural conception 3 1/2 yrs ago no contraception since and no luck at all. DS keeps asking for a sibling. all friends on their second or third babies now and my biological clock is ticking me 37. DH -male factor newly diagnosed-so DS could have been our miracle baby who knows!

i know how u are feeling. we love our sons but yearn for another. It is not selfish u just feel u have not completed your family yet and hope and dream for another pregnancy knowing how wonderful it was to give birth to something so precious. i loved being pregnant. sometimes i think it is a desire just for the pregnancy as worried about early menopause-runs in the family, and when i see my friends kids siblings all playing together i feel terrible that my DS has none. My mum was an only child and she hated it, others felt it gave them a better life-who knows. have read lots of books on only children and secondary infertility when i find the titles will pass them on. i have first isci appointment in march have decided try 3 times(limited by finances) then to stop and accept what will be- but who knows what my emotions will be like then

best of luck to u 
it is lovely to know this site can provide us with theemotional support when no one else thinks we need any as we already having a child
love pinkpear


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## Harps (Nov 27, 2005)

HI Lou  

Just wanted to say hello and good luck to you.  Our ds is just over 2years and I've been trying since he was born!  I loved being pregnant and the small baby thing!  I think I left having children till I was 34 and then all of a sudden I decided I wanted a big family!!  But, it seems that it is not really meant to be.  We are going for our intial consultation tomorrow and hope to get started on ICSI ASAP!  Don't tell dh but if my dreams come true and I'm really, really, lucky we might get twins... ha ha... that would be fantastic, but one will more than do!!  

Good luck to you...

Harps
xx


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## royall (Oct 18, 2004)

Hi louise, good to be in company of those who understand! My friend is just about to have her baby & I'm dreading it, havnt seen her for weeks but think she understands its not personal. My only coping mechanism is time & staying out of the situation that upset me, but i do try to explain myself bedfore I go into hiding! & try to get together with non preganant friends & enjoy a great day out with my daughter, or a great day in making puppets & drawing!
Try to stay sane but don't worrry if you lose it from time to time, I shout at pillows a lot!!
Take care & good luck!


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## aggy (Oct 2, 2004)

Hi girls
i haven't been on this board for ages   my DD is 9 yrs old and we have been trying to conceive again for the last 8yrs i have longed for another child for such along time but am now starting to feel that it is meant to be  i do like you girls feel lucky to have a child but it still doesn't take away the yearning for another 
my DD was conceived naturally after 6 yrs of treatment  i had icsi back in April 2005 but sadly failed so i think thats it for us now but we get very frustrated to why i conceived naturally then but nothing since 
my DH has antibodies which is the problem but it happend once so we will just have to keep hoping for another miracle
                        luv sharon


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## mancgal_644 (Oct 18, 2004)

Hi There 

I have a ds he is 7 nearly 8  now  i am having ivf due to 2 eptopics already had 1 cycle last year but got a BFN  think it was due to alot of stress a my step dad was terminally ill but wanted me to carry on  but i look at it i was needed to help look after him and thats why it wasnt are time i know i may sound silly but it helps me  im going again next month  so who knows 
My little boy is desperate to have a little brother or sister and i have tried to explain he understands a little  but everytime my AF s due he says look mum your pregnant  thats the hardest part of it all 

as for people faling pregnant and giving birth it does  get to me  but i try to think positive  adn usually works  after all it isnt there fault im having problems it is hard but we all become stronger people  threw it 

Kerry x


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## beverleyt (Jan 16, 2006)

Hi
Most of the time I manage to be happy for my friends but I do find myself counting the kids of strangers. If I see a family I look to see how many pushchairs/toddlers there are - if I see a car I count the car seats - its crazy but I find it easier to be this way towards strangers. I also feel an overwhelming desire to surround my DH with friends - so I am forever organising play dates and sleepovers etc - and she is only three! I am sure she would love a quiet day in.

We will try three or four cycles and then accept whatever. I would actually be happy adopting but my DH wont - but he's also okay if we dont have another child. I just love babies and children and always saw myself with 3 or 4! But then of course I was having too much fun and didnt begin until 33.

Best of luck to you all and I hope our dreams come true


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## Cloud9 (Feb 1, 2006)

Hello Pinkpear & everyone 

I also feel all the above feelings - our DD is 5 1/2 conceived naturally and would love to be a sister.  TTC for 1 year - i am now 40 years young and always wanted a gap bu t did not bank on the male factor being a problem !! DH only agreed to do a SA at the new year desoite me wanting him to do so last May.

Any way we have our first appointment on 15/3/06 and increasingly so, as i feel the pressure mounting on me, today I keep having little panics about things eg the amount of drugs I will need to take, whether I will react badly to the sedation during EC, whether I will get ovarian cancer!!!! you know how it is I'm sure  mind on over drive.

As I am a little bit of a lists and organised kind of person, mainly to reduce stressful panics I am now beginning to worry about who will be available to look after our 5 year old at times outside school times - do the EC days always start so very early?

I do not have any family near by to help and it is all becoming quite a worry.

Thank you


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## pinkpear (Feb 8, 2006)

hi cloud 9
we are feeling all the same emotions. hope we can chat more in the lead up to our big day first appointmenton 15 march! it's not just the emotions thought is it for us it's practicalities of who is going to look after our little one. mine is 3 1/2 i have a great childminder for 2 days of the week. hopefully a friend is also on stand by as all family live hundreds of miles away. can't bank on my parents coming down over ec/et time they haven't visited my house for almost 2 years-blaming it on their dogs. i get a bit fed up of always traveling to them- if isci succeed  then they will have to come more to us as travelling with 2 will be a mare-

love pinkpear


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## Cloud9 (Feb 1, 2006)

hello Pinkpear

It is really great to get these personal messages, particulaurly as I have told only a couple of people of the grand plan and so do not speak about it really to anyone.  Is your first first appotment also on 15 March?!  Where are you going (sorry I am sure you have told me but well....I seem to be going a bit fuzzy in the head already and I have not atsretd any drugs yet!).

We are going to The Lister and will have to be there on EC day for 7.30am.  I have no family near by to help with DD and friends have so many children of their own they would not really want another being dropped off at around 6am, if not earlier, even though she is very good.  I am not sure my parents would take on looking after DD as they do not really agree with me doing IVF/ ICSI at all and that would be seen as positively encourgaing me to go ahead!!.  My personal trainer has volunteered to look after DD and take her to school on those early days if I need that help.  I just hope that I do not need to be there so early for other scans and blood tests, howvere, many there wuill be ( I wish I knew as it is beginning to stress me out).  Also how am I supposed to rest and do nothing at the crucial times if I have on-going DD tasks to carry on with?

I am aware that my attention is straying very easily now a days and DD finds that a bit frustrating.  Poor little girl, she must be wondering what is going on. She hears parts of coded conversations and as she usually does not miss a trick I am surprised she has not asked me direct questions.  We are very close and it feels a bit odd to have this big secret project that she is not aware of but it is totally inappropriate for her to know.

Tonight she said yet again that she wanted me to have a baby and it would be nice if it was a girl but a boy would be OK!!  I thought to myself little do you know that you could end up with both with the route we are taking!!!!!  It made me cry.

I realised today that the reason I seem to be less emtional about the baby issue etc is that I have been avoiding people and keeping myself to myself recently.  A false coping mechanism and one that cannot be kept up for long.

Speak again soon


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## pinkpear (Feb 8, 2006)

hi cloud 9 

yep we are at the lister too on the 15th my appointment is at 11.30 but will prob be there 1 hr earlier to get DH geared up for his SA. will take us about an hour 1/2 by train i think.OMG didn't know needed to be there for EC at 7.30 no idea how i will do that!! will have to persuade parents to come down then for a few days i think. i have a very dependable childminder and friend who may help. I agree our little darlings know something is up. my DS keeps saying to DH why is mummy crying /sad . mostly its PMT  time where my head and brain become totally disengaged and i am an emotional wreck. never used to be like this before-i think its my age!! Poor DH thinks i am going completely nuts then says things like will we cope with another if u are so emotional doesnt he understand the emotional nutter will be gone if i have another! I am taking EPO/ and pregnacare, omega3(mumomega) and hope to get going on some acupuncture just trying to find a decent one between worthing and Brighton. will try whey to go shakes for stimming.

am secretly hoping DH count is much better so may only need IUI-but must wait and seemind u if go for IUI bet they will want an HSG-my nhs consultant said i wouldn't need one.

well mustn't blabber on- hope u enjoy the lister thread too
love pinkpear


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