# gutted...



## Bellini (May 2, 2008)

BFN today (1 day prior to OTD) on my first ever ICSI.

Been spotting for 3 days and last night the spotting turned into bright red AF with some pain.

tmi - I passed a small clot earlier and I am convinced I know what that was... heartbroken

Just so upset. How do I get past this? I had a grade 1 8-cell embie... why did this happen?

When I was on clomid the clomid made me ovulate but my luteal phase got shorter and shorter (down to 9 days).

Also, I had laser for some cervical cells which has left me with a cervical abrasion that sometimes hurts and bleeds and all the doctors at Barts commented on it during EC and ET.

Do you think these issues are related?


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## mrspaddy (Nov 10, 2009)




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## joeyrella (May 13, 2009)

so sorry to hear that bellini 
i don't know what to say to comfort you other than i'm thinking of you


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## Bree (Mar 21, 2007)

Dear Bellini, Your first BFN is like your first broken heart.... devastating. Most clinics offer some sort of consultation to discuss next move (even if its just a phone consultation) so write down all your questions and concerns and discuss everything with your consultant to check out if there is anything you should do different next time. Dont forget to mention your concerns about your cervix.
  There may be no real answer as to why it didnt work this time. Its a numbers game! The more times you do it the more likely you are to succeed. The main thing is DO NOT GIVE UP!!  Hope 2010 is a new start and new hope for you  
Love from Bree xx


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## Bellini (May 2, 2008)

thank you ladies so much.

I am hoping 2010 is a better year all round.    

Bellini xxx


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## kazzy44 (Oct 30, 2006)

Hey Bellini

I just wanted to say how very sorry I am. A cycle of any sort takes such courage, energy and strength so when that fails it's no wonder your emotions are all over the place. I take strength in what others have been through to get to their dream. Never give up, give yourself some time out and then go for it with every bit of PMA that you can.

We have been blessed twice but it took us a long time to get there. Had a m/c at 10 weeks when I got pregnant on clomid. IVF out of 8 embryos we have two daughters. One of the pregnancies started as a twin pregnancy but our 11 week scan showed the baby had stopped growing. My point is is as heartbreaking as it is now I now understand why I had to go  through the m/c 4 years ago. Keep believing. Sending you a big    I know exactly the pain you are feeling and it's so awful. You can't ignore it or put it to one side but work through it the best you can. I'm feeling very     as we lost our last 3 embryos this time and that's it for us now as I am 40 next year. Yes we are so so lucky two have two girls but the pain is still awful so I really do feel for you. 

Kazzy xxx


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