# New to this board and v tearful



## TraceyU (Feb 28, 2005)

Well a little bit about myself first.

I am nearly 33 and have been with my husband for 13 years, although only married for 18 months.  I have been ttcing for 15 months with not even a whiff of success.  I was on the pill for 11 years but have had regular 27/28 day periods.

Anyway, I have recently given up my job (which I loved) and we have moved to Norfolk and I look after our little menagerie of animals.  Sounds great - but it isn't as I am soo lonely.  I was fine about ttcing until this month when I thought I was pregnant and got a BFN, even with 2 tests.

I just feel disappointed and tearful all the time, which isn't me at all.   I was going to make an appointment with our GP to discuss this and get checked out but now I have another worry - a mole on my back which has been painful for 2 weeks.  I am 'trying' to get an appointment with a doctor (I have been told to keep ringing up at 8am in the mornings) but feel that this new problem will overshadow what I reall want to discuss.

Well, there we go.  I hope you are not asleep after reading this loong post!


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## Dydie (Feb 11, 2005)

Hi TraceyU
Firstly welcome to FF, You really have come to the right place to let off steam when your'e low, we all understand, I imagine that some of your problems at the moment are to do with your house move, it is very stressful at the best of times let alone when you have moved away from your job and probably your friends etc, and now you have all your worries bottled up, animals are great, but they are not very good at dishing out sympathy when we need it are they?
The best advice I can give you is that, of course your worries about a mole should be number one priority, get to your doctors and get it checked out, but whilst your'e there don't feel pressured by your 5 minute time slot, write down all the questions you have about ttc, and also tell him how low you have been feeling, we have to speak up and make our GP's listen to us, they are not mind readers. get some help luv, we all need it from time to time. and feel free to come and rant to us anytime.
Take care, welcome to FF and good luck!
Dydie xx


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## mummymaybe (Jan 25, 2005)

Tracey welcome to FF

Please feel free to have a rant   we are all going through the same frustrations.

I have also suffered with painful moles in the past, its best to get checked out as the procedure to remove them is really easy and painless.  

I have moved around alot with my husbands job so I know how it feels to be on your own in a new place, you are in the right place if you need people to talk too.

When you see your GP why not ask about the fertility tests first as you are probably more anxious about that then ask them to have a look at your moles.

Look after yourself and we are here if you need someone to listen.

Helen x


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## olwen (Oct 26, 2004)

Tracey, 

You sound so down so I just wanted to say    I can understand how disappointed and tearful you are, but unfortunately there is no magical solution to your problem.  There are however some practical steps you can take to help you on your way.  I find that if I am actively DOING something (even if its just calling to make an appointment with the dr), then that in itself often makes me feel a bit better because it gives me a tiny bit of control over the situation.

First things first, you must make an appointment with your GP.  Firstly to discuss the mole on your back and to get it checked out.  Fingers crossed that it is something that can be cleared up quickly and then you'll have one less stress and worry to deal with.  

At the same time you must speak to your doctor about the problems you are having ttc.  You CAN talk about more than one problem in the same appointment - it doesnt have to be an either/or thing.  I guess if you have only just moved recently you might not know your new GP too well, but this is the perfect opportunity to get to know him or her, because infertility can be a long process and you'll need to get your GP on side.  Let him/her know how long you have been ttc and even if they tell you that you have to try naturally a while longer, then stress how much the situation is affecting your life and that you are very tearful all the time.  I went to my GP after only 8 months of ttc, and although she said she thought it was most likely I hadnt got pregnant because I hadnt been trying long enough, she agreed to run some basic tests as I was so upset and not coping with the situation.  

You need to try to be a bit assertive - firstly to get an appointment and then to make sure you get some initial tests done.  Knowing a little about infertility and possible treamtents may help you feel more confident as you will know what to ask for.  I'm sure that the lovely ladies on this site will be able to share their experiences and give you more advice, but to get you going I'll tell you how we got started.  The first tests we had done were:-

For me - blood test on about day 21 of my cycle (if I remember rightly) - this is to measure progesterone levels and can indicate whether you have ovulated.
For my husband - a semen analysis

Other things you could do is to maybe try some acupuncture which is supposed to help with fertility.  It may also relax and generally de-stress you.  If you are not so keen on needles then why not try reflexology, or at the least pamper yourself with a massage or two to try to unwind a little.

There are lots of books on the subject, to begin with I would recommend "Fertility and Conception: The Complete Guide to Getting Pregnant" by Zita West.  You can get it on Amazon if you dont live near a big bookshop.  She gives tips on things you can try in order to maximise your chances of getting pregnant naturally or to help if you are having some kind of assisted conception treatment.  Lots of the ladies on here have read it, but they may also be able to recommend other books.

Obviously reading a book and getting some acupuncture isnt going to make you pregnant, but it might make you feel more confident and more knowledgeable about your situation and rather than just ttc each month and having to cope with the disappointment when you dont get pregnant, it will give you something positive to be doing and will give you some control over the situation.

I wish you all the best.  Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you or if you have any specific questions I can try to answer for you.

Lots of love and big hugs, 
Olwen xxx


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## raffles (Aug 12, 2003)

Hello Tracey

FF is the best place to let it all out, everyone has probably used it for this reason at some point and I'm sure you will find loads of support here. When you book an appointment at the GP why not ask for a double appointment, this will give you more time to discuss both issues.

Take care

Raffles


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## sally75 (Feb 24, 2005)

Hi Tracey, 
I'm new too.  Just a suggestion about the GP.  You could ask for an emergency - I'll see anyone apointment to get the mole looked and a separate - I need to talk to a woman GP/ your GP who specialises in gynae/fertility issues (depending on what you are happy telling the receptionist) and I don't mind waiting a week to see the right person.  
This works at our surgery.  
We moved house last year after being in the same place for nearly 10 years.  I also moved jobs and my DH's business has folded.  (What a happy camper I am!)  So, I have some empathy with the stress of 'all change'. It is hard to meet people in a new area.  Until you do - remember we are all here at FF for you!
Good luck 
Sally


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## Mrs Nikki (Nov 13, 2004)

Hun I work for a dermatologist and have worked at a GP surgery in past - both are two different problems and one will not over shadow the other.  As far as the mole goes the GP will have an idea by looking at it and your descriptive symptoms and will generally refer you to a dermatologist without a problem, and generally speaking most moles are fine.


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## country girl (Jun 18, 2004)

Hi Tracey,

As an ex GP can I second Raffles advice and suggest you book a double appointment? It is not really fair on patient or doctor to try and fit everything into a 5 minute slot, usually ends up in an unsatisfactory consultation for both. 

Take care.


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## TraceyU (Feb 28, 2005)

Thank you all for your support.  I feel a bit better now that I have got it off my chest.  

It's nice to be able to chat to people who actually understand.  My husband does not talk about it much and I don't feel comfortable talking to my mum or mother-in-law.

My mum even said the comment 'Well  it cn't be anything wrong with you as I had 3 children with no problem'.  I still can't believe she actually said those words  

I will let you know how I get on with the GP.


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

Hi Tracey,

Good luck at the GPs - I get SO worried by dodgy moles as I've used sunbeds since I was 16 for my eczema (including hospital high powered ones under dermatologist).  They always turn out fine! 

My poor old mum on the other hand (I'm adopted) who never sunbathes & has never been on "hot" holiday has had 2 lots of skin cancer - both caught in time & v v slow growing.  

Specialist told her that majority of skin cancer in women is on forearms & lower legs.  So fingers crossed the mole will be just fine.  

You never know, you might be lucky & find your new GP is really great.  I'd been with the same practice for donkeys years & thought my doctor was great but since I've moved to Ipswich I've found the best doctor ever!

Good luck & keep posting!
Jess x


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## sallie (Feb 25, 2005)

Hiya, I am also new 2 this site, there is a wealth of information out there and a lot of people here who can talk to u about the up and downs of trying 2 concieve. 
Good luck


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