# Need to share...



## LittleL77 (Jul 14, 2012)

My AF was late this month, although I knew I wouldn't be pregnant as not ovulating at the moment for some reason (no idea if this will be permanent).  This didn't stop me doing a pg test (ironically I started later on that same day!!) and unfortunately my eternal optimist husband had been getting his hopes up with each day that my period was late (6 days late).  Frankly I was relieved when AF came because I was feeling very premenstrual - Hubbie looked VERY disappointed.  He refuses to accept that I am not ovulating and that this invariably means that I can't fall pregnant - well, actually, he convinces himself each and every month that I will have started ovulating again. Sometimes it rubs off on me and I start to imagine that I have pg symptoms (been pg before which ended in mc end of Jan) - this drives me mad.  I used to be so sensible and well-balanced  

Anyway, this morning when hubbie brought me a cup of tea in bed, I was suddenly hit with an overwhelming sense of guilt that I couldn't provide him with a child.  I can't seem to shake it off and have spent the whole day hiding away in bed.  I haven't felt this bad before - I don't like feeling like this and I really do hope that it going to pass.  I'm posting on here because I have even considered telling him to find someone else who can give him a family.  I realise that this is a bit melodramatic - but it's how I feel today.  I just feel like such a failure and can't bear to think that because he chose to marry me, he might never have a family of his own.  He is so good with his nephews and I know that he so desperately wants to be a father.

To be honest, if someone feels the need to give me a kick up the bum or other form of reality-check - that might be just what I need.


----------



## Guest (Jul 21, 2012)

Oh hunni, I didn't want to read and run but I'm useless at advice, all I can say is don't give up and please don't feel like a failure, you are not a failure at all. You are trying and that is what matters, it will happen. Positive thinking!! xx


----------



## Helena123 (Jun 11, 2011)

Hello,

Hope you have gotten out of bed by now  

Okay.  I think it's normal to have all of the thoughts you describe.  Sometimes I think you just have to go with the flow and wallow in a pit of misery for a bit.  A couple of days feeling down and negative is okay. 

You appear to be in limbo land at the moment and you really would start to feel better if you started being pro-active about this rather than just accepting that 'you are just not ovulating at the moment, for whatever reason'.  How do you know that you are not?  Tests confirmed this, have they?

I've read through another one of your posts and don't like the sound of your GP.  Get rid of her and replace her with a decent human being who is going to assist you in moving forward rather than be a hindrance    As for leaving it up to nature: does she not realise that we are living in a world full of fertility tests, treatments and medications and that we really don't need to leave it up to the gods shining favourably upon us any more? I despair!

You can search for a new GP on here: www.nhs.uk  



I send you lots of     to counteract those negative ones x


----------



## Debbienick (Feb 25, 2011)

Hi,

I hope you are feeling a bit better today. I think it is totally normal the way you are feeling. I have definitely been there in the past!

All I can add to the other comments is that I am sure you would find that your DH loves you very much and as much as I am sure he wants babies as desperately as you do, he wouldnt choose that over having you in his life.

You are in this as a couple regardless of who has the fertility problems and just need to hold on tight to each other so you can both stay sane.

Infertility is a horrible journey which always seems to affect nice people who certainly dont deserve it judging by the lovely ladies (and men) on this site.

Definitely change GP if you are getting nowhere and be pushy about getting some answers. You will feel so much better if you are at least being taken seriously and can be seen by a specialist.

Wishing you lots of luck x


----------

