# Can I request different community midwife?



## fififi (Mar 16, 2011)

Hi,

I had my booking in appointment today with community midwife based at my doctors surgery. Having taken over six years to finally get to this stage I woke this morning full of excitement. However the midwife's manner and attitude to me as an older mum who's had IVf was really off. She even said at one point that "if you haven't had a miscarriage before 15 weeks I'll see you again then" implying that she thought it unlikely I'd be back.
There was no sense of encouragement or even a hint of acknowledgement that my journey to get to be pg was a difficult one. Just negativity and expectation I wouldn't make it much further. I'm having weekly scans with recurrent MC clinic as have history of early losses but told her that I was now passed my personal danger zone & scans all very positive.

I really don't feel happy that she's going to play big part in my pregnancy journey when is coming at it from such a negative starting point. So if possible would like to see someone else.
She's the only midwife based at my doctors surgery so can't ask to see someone else there. I'm happy to travel to another place but have no idea if that's allowed and if it is how I'd go about asking to get registered somewhere else.

Thanks x


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## Kaz1979 (Apr 11, 2011)

Hi fififi

Sorry to hear this. It depends on how things are run in your area. 

It is something I do in my area. 

I would say you have two options. 

1) give her another chance as its only 1 meeting. Try again for next visit.  

2) if you don't want to. Call your unit ask for community midwives office and ask if you can speak to a team manager or matron/community manager. Then explain situation to them. 

Let me know how you get on. 

Kaz xxxx


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## fififi (Mar 16, 2011)

Thanks Kas,

Following your advice I initially thought I'd give original midwife another go but as got closer to the appointment was feeling anxious about seeing her so realised I needed to do something.

After much deliberation I decided to contact community midwife team & ask if it would be possible to be put on different midwife's list. The team leader was brilliant & reassured me that I wasn't being super difficult. She asked my reasons for requesting a switch - I said that didn't feel first midwife had good understanding of IVf pregnancy or repeated MC and how these would make me feel extra vulnerable especially in first trimester. The team leader then said she'd try and find someone who she felt would best understand those situations.

I met new midwife today - home visit as other local surgeries not willing to have patient not at their practice using the surgery time slots. She was just who I needed. Closer in age to me and been an "older mum" herself. Lovely and calm. Easy to talk to & repeatedly telling me that if I have any worries or questions before I next see her at 25 weeks to get in touch.

So glad I made the change. Now just got to keep hoping things continue to go well and I keep on heading for the finishing line.


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## Kaz1979 (Apr 11, 2011)

Brilliant Fifi

Glad to hear it. Xxxx


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