# Over 40's Current Cyclers - Part 3



## Mish3434

NEW HOME LADIES!  

*Please take a moment to review the Site Guidelines, particularly with regards to pregnancy and parenting* chat: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=260253.0

Babydust to all on their journey's, praying you are all successful and when you are here is the link for the over 40's PAPAI area:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=164.0

Love and babydust to you all

Shelley xx


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## Moominmum

Lucky100: great news - well done! And lucky you to get your DH to agree to two. I really think we were stupid to not do it, but it's not just about me. I was squeezing all day yday to make sure nothing fell out well aware of how it works. But paranoia seems to take over. That must be the same for everyone 

Now how do you keep positive until OTD? I have over analysed every 'symptom' today like feeling some cramp, lower back ache etc. It will drive me insane if I go on like this.

As for chilling I sent DH and DS out today and have been watching The Great British Bake Off on iPlayer all day...

Love to all and fingers crossed for great news soon!


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## Birdiepie

Lucky you are not alone as I was scared to have a poo in case they fell out   

I've had a lovely afternoon with my DH.

One minute I'm up and then I'm down. Trying not to be too hopeful but then if I get a BFP the worry will just continue and I will worry I will have another mc. I had two last year


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## bannyb

Well done fififi, 6 is great! I'd be over the moon with 6! Fingers crossed they all fertilise well   


Congratulations on being PUPO Moominmum, Lucky and LL! Rest up as much as you are able and try not to worry (easier said than done!) and enjoy the moment!    for you all


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## LellyLupin

Hello Girls xx

Well let me just assure the girls who are thinking their eggs will drop out if they go to the toilet, it can't happen so please stop worrying. 

Fifi fab news on the 6 eggs thats brilliant.  

Me and DP also had the discussion/row about putting two back which is why he was barred from ET this time  

AFM so much for resting up spent the whole of yesterday in hospital with my mum, who was rushed there by the paramedics, she has a very severe chest infection and is still in.  Talk about stressful, rushed in by the paramedics and then spent two and half hours waiting in a corridor.  The clinic rang yesterday to say (rollercoaster time) that my remaining eggs had developed extremely well and I have 1 fab 8 cell and 5 others that are 6 cell, so I may even get some to freeze this time.  I am slightly worried that I am going to end up with triplets here, however I am still going back in tomorrow to have the 8 cell put back.  I can't keep up anymore.  have had no time to worry about symtoms so far Moomin and am beginning to see that keeping v busy may be a better option than dwelling  

Love to all sorry I haven't answered personally as I can't flick back to read the posts now I have started typing.  Have a great day!


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## fififi

Morning all ...

At 7:55 I got phonecall and am delighted to say I now have 5 embryos doing their thing at the clinic - yahooo!!! As long as they keep dividing nicely that means ET on Thursday (day 5 blasts). Am so pleased, especially since on Tuesday the clinic gave us "the talk" about potentially needing to cancel cycle as unlikely to even get 2 eggs.
Having had a few hours to grin like a lunatic am now back in worry mode & just hoping that those 5 do well   . It would be great if 3 make it all the way as would feel happier just having 1 put back this time and that way we could freeze the other 2. If only 2 left by day 5 then it'll be huge dilemma for us following what happened in our cycle back in Feb and one I'd rather avoid. But, putting my positive head on again ... right now things are fantastic and this is a new cycle which has every chance of fulfilling our dreams    

birdiepie - you, like me, need to find that positive head and remember each cycle is different and there is no reason why the heartache in past will occur again. You're in one of hardest parts of the cycle right now, and if you're anything like me it took quite a lot of courage to even try again. 
Believe that miracles can happen. Admittedly you'll feel scared if you do get BFP but the joy will still be there. I'll be thinking of you and hoping that we both get joyful news not just on OTD but throughout the next 9 months    

Moonimmum - the 2ww should probably be called the "twilight 2 year wait" as although only 14-18 days go by according to calendar it seems to last a hell of a lot longer. You will experience every symptom possible plus have days where no symptoms at all stand out. If something smells then you're overjoyed ... until someone else in room comments on smell too!!! Basically you will go mad!!! Try to do nice things each day - if you're off work perhaps lunch out? In my 2nd week I try to have a facial so get some pampering in that wouldn't normally have. I also tend to bake lots ... but result is big tummy so not necessarily recommended!

Lucky - congrats on being PUPO and hope you're making most of being able to relax work free for a few days. Great that you can test so soon ... keep rubbing that tum and sending those beans positive thoughts    

Lesley - sorry to hear your mum got worse and what a nightmare day you had yesterday   . Hope today is a little calmer. Will be thinking of you tomorrow and hope ET number 2 goes smoothly   
PS. Great news about your embryos. Try not to worry about triplets as it's unlikely clinic would put 3 in if they thought any more than two would result.

ajw - how did scan on Fri go? Have you a date for EC? Thinking of you   

Grace, bannyb and anyone else I've missed ... hoping things okay with you and you're having good weekend


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## ajw

Wow, lots of positive news  

Well done Fifi  with your 5, that's fab! See, all that worrying for nothing.  

Great news about your 3rd Lesley. Sounds really promising this time    

Lucky, hope the 2ww goes quickly. It's right what the others say, it's best to fill your time and keep busy to take your mind off it or it seems like 2 months  

Moomin, I can't believe the day you had the other day! You know I think we should all put our stories together and write a book! Some of them (with hindsight of course) are just too funny to make up! Anyway, good news that you're now PUPO. Looking forward to joining you on the 2ww.

AFM, I go in for EC tomorrow. Had my last injection last night. Yay!!   
Go in at 10.30am. EC at 12.30   please!

ajw


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## Lucky100

Wishing you lots of luck for tomorrow AJW  hope it goes well  
Lucky 100


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## Lucky100

Lesley, sorry to hear about your mum. Hope you have a slightly more stress free day today 

Fifi, well done on your EC, so glad it was a success for you.  Fingers crossed for the coming week  

Hi to everyone else!

AFM, taking it easy today! Have a facial booked for tomorrow so really looking forward to that. Feels strange to think I have two chances floating around in there...  please stay put!

Lucky100


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## Chandlerino

Just popping on to wish all the ladies who are PUPO good luck with the 2ww - especially ajw as we cycled together in June. Which reminds me what happened to Queen Bee?


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## ajw

Aww thanks Chandlers. That's nice of you. Not sure about Queen Bee. I've been on and off depending on work commitments so maybe I missed something.

Hope you're concentrating on keeping fit and healthy ready for your next cycle.

ajw


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## LellyLupin

Fifi thats fabulous   they keep on progressing nicely.  My consultant said putting 2 back is recommended for over 40s but I can see why that would worry you.
You and moomin are brave ladies  

Lucky my test date is 21st so lucky you xx

Good luck with your EC AJW I will think about you while I am in there too xx

Thanks Chandlerino, Queen Bee got a BFN and I think she needed a break from here to get herself together for another go xx

Lucky weird but I haven't had time to think of that yet, praying all our PUPO babies are hanging in there   .  Mum is doing better shes still in hospital but looking much brighter and eating now which is a relief. xx

Off to bed now I am shattered speak tomorrow xx


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## Moominmum

Lesley: good to hear that the “two embryos” discussion happens to others as well. And good idea to not have DP there for the transfer! If there ever is a next time I will have that in mind... Sorry to hear about your mum but I hope that your mum is doing better now. Good luck tomorrow!  

fififi: that’s amazing news about your embryos – well done you!   

Birdiepie, Lesley, Lucky: fingers crossed for the next 9 months... 

ajw: good luck for tomorrow! 

Lycky: enjoy your facial tomorrow. Sounds like a fab idea.  

I have spent the day at a Scandi Fair with plenty of Scandi food and items which cheered me up as that is where I am from. However, when I got there I had a missed call from the clinic with a message that they had not manage to freeze anything. I have to admit that I am gutted. How does it work? Why didn’t they freeze anything Day 3 when I think a fair share had developed well? I don’t understand how it works so I will call them tomorrow to find out more. I hated how the embryologist said “this cycle we couldn’t...” as I am not sure we will try another one looking at all the extra costs they added on top of the original quote.  Oh well, I suppose I am extra sensitive at the mo.  

Anyway, as you suggested fififi I have baking projects planned for tomorrow to keep my mind of things. I need many more projects though.  

I know a bit late but in case I need it in the future, which clinic has the best stats for our age group?

Love and positive thoughts to everyone!


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## memebaby

Lesley...........this is all sounding really good and im sorry to hear that about your mum. I hope she makes a swift recovery. Good luck with your little blast tomorrow. I hope you can freeze some too if thats what you want. I agree keeping busy helps to minimize the hideous symptom spotting but  try and rest up a bit over next couple a days. Youre moving into implementation phase I think.   for you and your 3 little soldiers.

AJW.........tons of luck tomorrow at ec. It will all be over before you know it. Just another step along the road albeit not the nicest. Really  hope you get a good result.

And for all ladies pupo sending all my good wishes. I was wondering about Queen Bee. I used to like her posts with her jokes. I hope things are going well for her. 

Chandlerino, am glad to see you have a treatment plan and  it goes well for you

 to all

meme


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## LellyLupin

Moomin in over 40s only in 10 couples get anything to freeze so don't feel too disappointed, its more common than you think  .  Freezing them earlier would only have given you false hope, as if they can't make it to blastocyst they wouldn't have developed inside you.  I know its a hard thing to take on board but its true and will stop you wondering why the clinic didn't do certain things    I read a really good article on it and it made me see it in a different light, the clinic don't want to set you up to fail as that would be cruel.  I didn't get anything last time and still may not this time either.  Last time we left 5 embies over the weekend and they all failed, I was so upset, but now I realise that its best to know.  I had one embie they thought about freezing but then decided it wasn't worth the stress to me pinning my hopes on it, and now I am glad they didn't as I would have been heartbreaking to be so disappointed when it didn't work.  

Me and DP had a huge argument at ET as he didn't mention he didn't want 2 putting back till that moment,  and we had already discussed it previously.  I was furious and so embarrassed I wouldn't let him in theatre and they took a picture of the embies on the phone to show him.  I thought what a moment to bring it up and he insisted on discussing it with the consutant too so I was mortified


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## LellyLupin

Am I Meme?  Thats interesting cos I have had a few twinges today    How are you feeling with your baby bump?  If I have triplets I am going to make you have one    I have a different feeling this time I don't know why    Whats your due date, if mine take they will be due on my birthday?

Chandlerino what is your plan this time?  What are you doing differently?

 for all of us xx


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## Moominmum

Lesley, than you for explaining this to me - makes me feel much better about it now  

As for the 2 embryos or not, I could tell when the embryologist made her suggestion that he had no idea what she was talking about and probably didn't pick up on what "one morula and one pre-morula" meant so I should have kept quiet and not told him...


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## LellyLupin

I keep DP in the dark now its much more peaceful, if he doesn't ask I don't volunteer!  ;  Glad to help, I was worried I would upset you but the article was really honest and helped me


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## Moominmum

Your DP strategy makes perfect sense 

I prefer straight forward, non-nonsense answers. Of course I want there to be hope but I do feel I need to understand reality as well. Unless the chance is zero I will not give up anything. I just wished that sometimes the "specialists" also could talk about "reality" and not just refer to your age group. As we all know stats for our age group are not great so to be "great among not so great" is completely impossible for me to understand 

I still have one emrbyo somewhere in there and it only takes one good...


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## LellyLupin

I know exactly what you mean, in my first ivf they bulled my results up so much I was almost guaranteed it wouldn't fail.  Then of course it did, so you are left going  .  They are doing it again this time too, but now I know 'good on paper' means nothing, its all in the lap of the Gods.  When I came back for my chat after the last ivf  they couldn't explain why it failed and then came up with 'age' again.  They said I had the fertility of someone in their early thirties with a touch of PCOS, but then suggested DE    I know if this one fails they will say the same thing so what do I believe?  Truth is I am 45 and so are my eggs, so even though I can produce an abundance of them and the environment they will enter is very good, the chromosomes in my eggs are still 45, and thats the unpredictability of it all and thats why they suggest DE.  There is no getting around it and thats the truth I have had to get my head around.  However I am not ready to give up on my own eggs and am willing to give it one more go just so I know I did everything possible. Of course then there the Downs Syndrome issue which I am loath to discuss as I know some people will get very heated on the subject.  I still think whatever the clinics say if its meant to happen it will,  despite all the tests/vitamins/relaxation techniques etc.


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## Chandlerino

LL - the plan is to go to Czech Republic in a couple of weeks although AF is due next weekend and I haven't even ordered my drugs - still holding on for a natural BFP   Also waiting on an NHS appointment for a hysteroscopy but thats not been forthcoming. Short on leave at work so having to go to Cz Republic at half term and take my 10 yr old which means I will have to explain it all to her. She has no clue that we have been having treatment.

Short protocol this time so no DR - I'm glad though as I absolutely hated it! I think I'm dithering because my PMA is so up and down. We have discussed DE but will have to see what are finances are like if the next treatment doesn't work. I had tried to convince myself that the last cycle was the end of the road but it didn't work and I'm not ready to give up yet. 

Unfortunately its a numbers game and I just wish my numbers would come up!


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## LellyLupin

So do I Chandlerino you have tried so hard and you deserve it so much.  My clinic recommended the czech republic Repro clinic they said they were very very good.  No wonder your PMA is so up and down  .  I said my last  cycle was my first and last  and look how that turned out    I think if your emotional state and finances can take it, you should keep going, and you will know instinctively when you are really to stop (assuming you don't fall pregnant of course).  My friend had 7 goes and then gave up, I am not saying she doesn't get the odd pang but she knew when she'd reached her limits.  I this cycle doesn't work for me I bet I dither about doing it again, its the nature of the beast isn't it, heart rules the head.  Good luck I am going to pray extra hard for you xxxx


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## ajw

Help! I'm having a pre EC panic! Just realised, last night I was supposed to use a Monazol pessary (think it's to reduce risk of infection) and I totally forgot!   
Wondering whether to put it in now, but it does distinctly say to put it in at night when going to bed. I guess I might be in a sticky mess for EC if it goes in now, but if not I might get an infection which could be dangerous? What do you think if I put it in tonight after EC? Aaah! I'm so stupid!!   
ajw


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## Moominmum

ajw: sorry i  cannot help you with this but i was not using any pessary before ec... good luck today!


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## Lucky100

Hi,
AKW, I don't know, I didn't have any pessaries to take before EC so can't help with that one. Sorry!

Moominmum, guess what, I had the same news yesterday from my clinic...no eggs to freeze.  I was gutted, but having read the info from Lesley I feel a lot better.

Lesley, good luck today!  

Lucky100


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## Moominmum

Oh Lucky100, I feel for you   but good that you found the info from Lesley helping as well - once again thank you so much Lesley!  
I suppose the whole IVF circus is very Sci-Fi so sometimes I guess that information is not always "presented" in the best way but more from a "technical" point of view. For us it is of course a physical experience, but most of all an emotional one.

Now I'd better start with baking project number 1 .

Moominmum


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## fififi

Mooninmum & Lucky - sorry you feel let down that you didn't manage to freeze any embryos but I'm actually surprised the statistic for over 40's is as high as 1 in 10. It's hard cos clinics give you the impression (and you have to sign consents talking about freezing) that you may have embryos to freeze but pregnancy rates for all ages decrease from FET. Clinics will only freeze truly top grade embryos and the defrost rate is about 70%. I think if you were able to freeze then you'd have that extra glimmer of hope that one day, with far less stress you'll be able to defrost them and bingo! But like Lesley says that isn't generally the case and you'll have further to fall.
What is true and GOOD right now is that you both made it all the way to ET and now you've got a life growing inside you. That in itself is a fantastic achievement for your first IVF/ICSI cycle. Enjoy that feeling and try to be as positive as you can. Zita West CD is good to relax and focus your mind on but equally, just spending a little time each day smiling and sending those feel good sensations around your body will definitely help. You've made it this far and there's no reason at all why this journey won't be one that lasts all the way to having a little someone in 9 months time    
PS. Moominmum - happy baking!!! It's my DHs birthday on Fri so at least I've an excuse to start with - after that, I'll just be building up my fat reserves ready for winter?!!!!

ajw - hope EC went okay and the lack of Monozol wasn't an issue. Thinking of you   

lesley - you've also been in my thoughts and hope that ET went well and you're able to relax a little today. Your life sounds hectic normally but the extra worry of you mum must have been horrible. Glad she's better than on Sat. Do try and have a little R&R time for you though - you deserve it   

chandlerino - hope you get that natural miracle and can just have a holiday over Half Term instead    
Know only too well that sense of "this will be our last cycle" yet not having the strength to actually stop. Hopefully that won't be a problem for you and that if your miracle doesn't happen naturally November will be your month anyway.

birdiepie - hope you're keeping occupied   

I'm in lot of pain after EC still - had panic last night in case had an infection. Don't have temperature so clinic feels it's more likely just to be the after effect of surgery. Yesterday I was doubled up all day - slept bit better last night and pain is more manageable. Have been told to take both nurofen & paracetamol & call back tomorrow in hope it's better. So, now worrying about that as well as how my embryos doing ... aghhhhh, hate this part!


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## Moominmum

fififi: so sorry to hear about your pain. I hope it'll get better soon.  Thank you so much for your supporting words - they brought a tear to my eye!

I have finished the baking and eaten two cinnamon buns already - if you all were here I would invite you to have some. 

Hope everyone's day is going well.


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## fififi

Mmmmmmm cinnamon buns!!!! - even with my sore tummy that sounds like wonderful idea.

Didn't mean to bring tear to your eye - just want you to know that you've done brilliantly so far and beaten lots of odds already


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## Moominmum

fififi: the tears were good tears  I am just so glad that I found this forum at the right moment to be around others in a similar situation.


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## Lucky100

Hi Fifi,
Thanks for your positive words! I have just listened to the zita west recording. Whilst I am off work I have been trying to do it twice a day . Wonder if you can OD on zita... 
Believe me I'm so happy that I have come this far, but the clinic do seem to focus a lot on the frozen embryos. We were certainly not told explicitly about the low chance due to my age, so I guess we assumed that we would be ok and have the option should we need it. 
Anyway, I have moved on from that now and am focussing everything on positive feelings for the 2 beans that are hopefully embedding nicely 
I may also go and bake something now as boredom is setting in. I'm not that good at relaxing in this type of situation!
Hopefully we will get some news later from Lesley on her ET!

Lucky100


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## fififi

moom - I didn't discover FF until quite a long way into treatment. It made a huge difference to how I coped with my cycle in February. Only having one friend who has even the slightest idea what IVF entails it's a true life line for me.

Lucky - think too much Zita could lead to you walking in slighty floaty way but other than that who knows  
Hope I've not come across as insensitive re frozen embryos. By no means would I think you didn't know how lucky you were to get this far I just wanted to boost you by saying that getting to this point is really hard   

Need to disappear now but will catch up again later x

PS. Baking tip number 1: try not to eat the whole bake in the same day, save something to finish off at breakfast!!!!


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## Lucky100

Hi
Fifi, not at all, your post was lovely! 

Lucky100


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## LellyLupin

Hello girls xx  

AJW I hope your EC went ok and it didn't matter that you hadn't had your pessary.  I didn't have one either so I hope it wasn't too much of a problem xx

Hello Lucky, Moomin and Fifi, guess what - no eggs for me to freeze either so we are all in the same boat   Glad my info helped though.  I had two Morulas but one had a few cells on the outside of  the inner circle so they didn't recommend that I froze it.  All the others I had had developed really slowly.  Anywho its in there now with the other two so fingers crossed  

Fifi I was in pain too after EC and bled for 3 days after quite a bit, my consultant was very rough and I would dread having to go through it again.  Take care sweetie and get some painkillers in your system xx

Love to all xx


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## ajw

Hello all. 
Sorry to hear you're in so much pain fifi. Sounds awful. 

Hope et went well Lesley. 

Thanks for the comments on the monazol girls. Just to know you weren't taking pessaries made me feel better. It can't have been that tragic to miss it. 

Afm and DP, we're both broken hearted. Despite changing the protocol this time to reduce the endometriosis and produce more mature eggs we only got one! Last time with a short protocol and fewer drugs, lower dose etc we got 5! I couldn't hold back the tears when they told me. After I'd seen 7 big follicles and several more smaller ones on the screen it seems so unfair that they only managed to get one egg out. 
I guess I now need to pray extra hard that it fertilises. 
Feeling totally depressed. 

Ajw


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## LellyLupin

AW ajw    However it only takes one and I know you have heard it a million times, however its true.  Its dissappointing, but you got one so it wasn't a wasted IVF round,  it had a result.  I only got 2 out of 55 follicles last time 2!, with supposedly super fertility for an over 40!  So if you look at it that way 1 out of 7 is fantastic.  Just keep positive  you did well xxxxx


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## fififi

ajw - big hugs    
I really feel for you just getting the one egg and know from past experience that tonight and that phonecall tomorrow is going to be a really hard one to get through. But it CAN be done and since all your body's energy went into that one egg it's got a definite advantage already    
Thinking of you and will send lots of wishes that you get good news in the morning


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## Lucky100

AJW, try not to be too disappointed with one egg, I know it's hard when all your hopes are high going into EC. Hope you are ok tonight and really wishing good news for you in the morning 

Big hugs and keep strong 

Lucky100


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## memebaby

oh ajw........im so sorry you are so disappointed. Its such a shock to not get the result we were expecting.  I had many more folys than got eggs, i never did understand why. I know you will feel gutted by one egg. Nothing to be done now but relax and cut your self some slack. Youve had a hard and emotional day. I pray you get good fertilisation.

re the freezing issue.....i rememeber my clinic were really suprised we werent going to freeze anything (personal choice) and the way they went on about it I thought it was a given that you ended up with a nice lot of embys to freeze if you wanted to. Fast forward and having got 4 fertilized eggs with only really 2 good ones to go back in  I now suspect that i never would have got to freezing stage either but I agree thats not how it comes across......another big shock we often dont expect.

Lesley, slow growing embys isnt necessarily a bad thing. Some perfectly good ones just are slower growing. How many cells did the emby today get to. It must have looked ok otherwise they wouldnt have bothered putting you through et. Google implementation and ivf and you will find out info about when embys tend to implant dependant on how many days old they were at transfer. The day It had indicated for me was the day I remember feeling pinching sensations. I kept thinking about my embies trying to nuzzle in and thats why i felt i needed to try and rest up a bit at that time. 

I'll take one of your triplets lovely. I can just see my dp's little face when i suggested it to him. I think he would manage to find a job in outer mongolia for a few years. Hes already talking about extending his contract in Norway after xmas becasue the money is good and it could get us out of a hole and set us up a bit, whcih is all well and good but i feel like saying have you forgotten a little something thats happening on 3rd March !!  Jeez louise you gotta love our men,. Anyhows, tick tock for the hideous 2ww. Be good to yourself and if you feel the urge to symptom spot like mad or obsess or just plain want to vent you know this is the place for it xxxxxxxxx


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## Moominmum

ajw: so sorry to hear your news. But I will send positive thoughts your way that it is THE one.  

I have taken everyone's advice onboard and am keeping myself busy. I have just met up with an old uni friend who is in town for work and has all of tomorrow booked seeing friends. Plus I have all the ingredients for many more baking projects of course 

Love to you all.


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## fififi

ajw - thinking of you and really hoping you got good news this morning


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## ajw

Thanks so much everyone for your encouragement and empathy. It really made me feel better to know that you all really understand how I'm feeling.

Unfortunately my one and only egg didn't fertilise    

ajw


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## fififi

so sorry


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## bannyb

So sorry to hear that ajw    sending a big


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## Lucky100

Oh no, AJW, I am so so sorry . Why does this happen? So unfair.
There are no words really that will comfort you right now. Take time I guess to think through what happens next?
Sending you lots of love,
Lucky100


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## Moominmum

Oh no ajw - I don't know what to say but my thoughts are with you. Many and big    

Moominmum


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## hopeful68

AJW - really sorry to hear that. you must be so upset at the moment and needing hugs not advice. i noted from your profile you have done 3 cycles this yr! - amazing strenght of character! is it possibly time to take a few months out and let the ovaries catch up and heal properly. (dont mean to stick my nose in or be insensitive and i hope you dont take it that way) i do want you to take a   from me though! i hope you and DH are being suportive for each other.


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## LellyLupin

Ajw I am so sorry chick, I was hoping your little egg would be the one. I just read that you have had 3 ivfs this year, it takes some courage to go through this process so often and in such a short space of time, I salute you you are one tough lady xx


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## Mish3434

Ajw, So sorry to see your egg didn't fertilize   


Shelley xx


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## memebaby

dear ajw

i have no words . Im gutted for you. gentle hugs to you at this time

meme


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## fififi

ajw - few more hugs     Wish there was something I could say or do to help. Really feel for you and wanted you to know you're in my thoughts today x

Moominmum & Lucky - hope you are doing okay and not eating too many baked goodies!

Lesley - hope your mum has improved further and now home from hospital

birdiepie - hope these last few days of 2ww aren't too torturous for you. Wishing you lots of success Friday   

everyone else - hi and hope you're doing okay  

I'm doing okay - the stomach pains from EC have finally gone, now just a bit tender. Was worried it was an infection as way more pain than I've ever had before. Frustratingly the pessaries are now kicking in so yet more bloating and constipation - nice!!! And just to add to my woes I've now got a horrible chesty cough which makes it impossible to lie on my back - not sure how that's going to work out at EC tomorrow?!!! Have taken today off work sick as need to try and rest up as much as possible in hope some of germs will be gone by the morning.
Got update from clinic yesterday and thankfully 3 out of the 5 embryos were developing as they should be. Now just got to hope that when they get them out tomorrow they'll still be at least 1 still doing the right thing


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## bannyb

Good luck for Friday birdiepie!   for you. 
Glad your pains have finally gone fififi,    that your 3 continue to do well, loads of luck 
Ajw hope that you are OK today, another big   from me too, thinking of you
Hi to everyone else, hope you're all doing well xx


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## Lucky100

Hi birdie pie and Fifi,
Wishing you both lots of luck!  

Lesley an moominmum how are you both doing?

My first day back at work today, feel ok, but certainly no signs of feeling implantation...I hope my beans are burrowing deep 

Lucky100


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## Moominmum

Hi everyone,

Birdipie and fififi: will be thinking of you and wish you good luck!  

Lesley: hope your mum is better. How are you feeling?  

Lucky: I don't feel anything at the mo and first I was stressing about that (of course - too much time on my hands!) and then I realised that when I have managed to get pregnant (including the one leading to DS) I had no symptoms until later, maybe at 7 weeks. However all my pregnancies have come a day/a couple of days after making a bigger commitment/something big coming up - like paid for a two weeks trip to Ukraine (and studying Russian there), or just before my 2 stressful weeks of final exams (have just retrained). So I am thinking that maybe I need to have some bigger plans up my sleeves for it to work 
I'd say no signs are good signs  

ajw: I hope you and DP are taking care of each other and that you are feeling a little bit better today.  

Anyway, I am for the first time feeling "normal" physically since I started this journey so I am enjoying that. I did two downreg periods in a row as my womb lining was not thin enough the first way around and they wanted to observe how it developed (well it didn't so hence the D&C the next round) so it's been looong. 

Now I have to watch my vanilla buns in the oven (will soon offer home deliveries as I don't know what to do with all my "project").  

To anyone I've missed:  

Moominmum


----------



## Lucky100

Hi everyone,
My clinic told me to take senokot for constipation so i did, but i posted on here on a different thread to get some advice. Two people have come back to say it should be avoided as it can cause uterine contractioms and miscarriage in some cases. I have flown into a blind panic now and have been googling to check...as bloomin usual there is conflicting advice and opinion. Some say that maybe it is not a good idea to take it in the third trimester, but that it is ok to take early on as the uterus is not set up to contract at this stage. But the lady who replied to me said not to take it during the 2ww.
Surely the clinic would not have advised it if it were not safe, but god knows how I'm going to put my mind at rest about this now. I will call them tomorrow but I am guessing they will say its fine.
What do you ladies think? Everything is so worrying, already!! I joke, but I am seriously worried that I have increased my chances now of this not working. This is so hard !
Lucky 100


----------



## Moominmum

Lucky: your clinic said it was okay and then it is okay in my opinion. I do know what you mean about conflicting advice but I think it is worth remembering that each clinic has their own view on IVF as a holistic approach. Therefore slightly different protocols, advice etc. For example your OTD is 17/10, my clinic said to wait 16 days after ET i.e. 23/10. We had EC on the same day... The clinic would never advice upon something they didn't believe in and after all, we are going to the clinics because they are experts!

So don't worry!  

P.S. I have been so constipated I could fill a while thread just by discussing that...


----------



## Lucky100

Thanks moominmum 
Feel a bit better now. There is so much to be scared about! 
Weird about our dates...what was your ET date?

Lucky100


----------



## LellyLupin

Ok ladies somethings going on and I'm not sure if its the hrt tablets they've got me on.  Symptoms:
1 I feel really queasy all the time
2 I cannot drink a full cup of tea, although I usually drink it by the bucket load
3 My mouth will not stop watering
4 I feel like I could cry
5 I have no appetite
6 I feel carsick even when I am driving
7 lots of nippy type abdomen pains
8 swollen stomach

So ladies verdicts please, it cannot be pregancy as its wayyyyyyy to early for any symptoms?

Mum is feeling a bit better now and is home and in her own bed, so I can finally calm down. She was arguing with Dad so must be on the mend  

Birdie and Fiffes good luck girls xxx

Fifi that bug is going around, everyone is coughing and sneezing in my office, take care of yourself chick you have babies to incubate, great that your embies are doing as they should be xx

Hi bannyb  

ajw hope you are feeling ok  

Lucky I wouldn't sweat the Senokot incident, if your clinic said it was ok it is ok, stop worrying  

Moomin vanilla buns sound lovely, are these to go with your bun in the oven v My OTD is 21st.xx

Love to all


----------



## Moominmum

Lucky: I guess there is a risk to over analyse things during 2ww. I now try to just live as normal. Yes of course not doing anything really silly, but then people get and are preggers not knowing they are doing all sorts of things. So whatever will be, will be is my approach (easier said than done though).  
My OTD is 21/10 (not 23/10)  they said but I will call again and check tomorrow as it feels like ages... I reckon that if I am BFN, my period would have come by then anyway...

Lesley: It could well be signs   Everyone reacts differently. Some people "know" at once. I keep my fingers crossed a bit extra for you!


----------



## LellyLupin

Moomin same OTD as me, we will be worrybuddies the night before  

Its the watery mouth bit thats driving me mad, I also keep getting the dizzies. I could have a bug so will not get too excited.  xx


----------



## Moominmum

Yesterday I felt a bit sick in the morning, today I didn't until I realised that I didn't and then I did - I am driving myself insane!


----------



## fififi

Evening everyone!
Thanks for the good wishes for tomorrow - having had lazy day am feeling bit better though still sound like a cross between a sealion and call worker on sex chatline  
Nerves are beginning to set in and I've been quite upset today thinking about how happy and positive I was back in February following ET. One of the ladies I cycled with back then had her twins last week and I can't help thinking how that was so nearly me. Just hoping that if we get a choice as to how many embryos to put back I'll be able to make a choice on what's best for now rather than worry about all the what ifs I've got from the last cycle.

Moominmum - hope you've lots of good recipes to keep you going. Bet the whole house smells lovely! Perhaps your "mad" project could be a career change to setting up your own baking company?  

PS. Moominmum & Lucky - welcome to the insanity that is the 2ww. By next week you'll be totally gaga! 
Lucky - I've seen the thread about constipation and although my clinic only recommend lactulose that's not to say senokot isn't safe. From previous experience my GP has told me that lots of medications say not to take in pregnancy however this is purely based on fact that no pg ladies have wanted to participate in a trial to see if it really is ok or not!
Plus, as others have said, although all of us at this time are being super body conscious and trying to avoid anything that might not be "recommended" in pregnancy for most of the population they'd be drinking alcohol, caffeine & eating as normal.
In short - don't worry  

Lesley - pleased your mum is home and getting back to normal! Your weird symptoms may well be due to hormones shifting around - how exciting!

Bannyb - hi there, hope all going well your end

Birdie - hope all's ok with you. Having got closer to the final IVF challenge now myself I have realised just how hard it is putting yourself through another cycle after mc and what extra emotions seem to crop up. Thinking of you


----------



## Lucky100

Thanks Fifi,
I have calmed down a bit now 
I hope that tomorrow you feel like this is a lovely new fresh start and know that we are all behind you willing you to do well! 

Lucky100 
X


----------



## fififi

Thanks x


----------



## Chandlerino

Evening ladies!

thats that, no more dithering have ordered my drugs and hoping to fly out on 23 Oct and start stims next week. I am so scared about going overseas! Just need to wait until Af arrives at weekend to confirm dates.

Love to all xx


----------



## memebaby

lesley.....id say those sympyoms sound encouraging. Yes it can be down to drugs but i dont recall you experiencing those effects on your last cycle and you were on those drugs then. i def had pinching feelings about 4 days post et (not sure where you are at) and on eighth day post transfer felt as sick as a dog around sainsburys but then nothing much after..................................please god    

stay sane lovely

meme 

great news chandlerino. get out there and get the business done and get the result you so deserve.


----------



## LellyLupin

Meme I am nearly 7dpt and I feel as sick as anything, I also keep getting funny shivers and I can't sleep but just want to lay down.  I could be sick too though as its going around, but I have never been off tea in my life its so strange.  Also I have had to take the air freshner out of DPs car cos its making feel sick and even my perfume makes me feels sick too.  And weeing jeez -a lot- even though I am not drinking as much tea, I can only do a few mouthfuls.  Saying that the sickness thing hads been going on a few days so I think that would be way to soon to be a pregnancy.  I guess we will wait and see huh    That triplet might be in the offing  

Chandler I salute you, you will handle it you have already been through so much, I   you get your dream this time xx

Stay strong Fifi xx


----------



## Birdiepie

Thanks Fififi  

Sorry I have been quiet this last couple of days. I have been reading but not posting. Been wallowing a little when I don't keep busy as I'm sure I will get a BFN. I haven't even booked for my pregnancy test on friday as I can't face sitting in a room surrounded by the smug BFP'S. I feel bad when I think like that as it's not that I aren't glad for people its just I want it for myself. I can't even bring myself to read the 2ww thread as everyone is so happy and pregnant at the moment. 

I am going to concentrate on winning the lottery to set up a trust to help people in our situation  

Sorry if my replies aren't personal its just i am using my phone and it is difficult to see and keep up. Huge   to all though and I'm sorry for being a misery chops x


----------



## LellyLupin

Don't worry Birdie every feels like that at some point  . You don't know that you are going to get  BFN, there have been people on here who are convinced and then get a BFP so try not to wallow till you know for sure.  I am on the 2ww but definitely feel to ill to be happy, I just want to feel a little bit back to normal so I am a misery chops too, and you kow what they say 'misery love company'


----------



## Amittai

Hi ladies,

I've been lurking on this thread for a while, mostly hanging out in the Reprofit double donated emby thread.. but thought I'd pop in here too if its ok!

This is just a quick one as I'm about to leave to go to CZ, and in a bit of panic and anxiety mode in various unexplainable and semi-explainable ways, but also feeling excited and happy.

Chandlerino - just to say you will be absolutely fine overseas, i was really nervous my first time last month but it ws really easy peasy. I printed out all the instructions written by a very clever and kind lady (off the Reprofit area) and that was really helpful, also i find the CZ people to be really a lovely nation, helpful, friendly and I have only had great experiences so far. and it really is not that expensive which is a real bonus!

Lesleylupin and Birdiepie Lucky100 - really holding thumbs for PFB's for ONE AND ALL!
I've been reading your journey's with interrest and feel most inspired and privelaged to be able to read such real life experience.  

Fififi - so sorry to hear bout the experience with your twinnies, I hope this is the one for you!!  

Hi AJW -   from afar

Hi  Moominmum, Memebaby, bannyb, Mish3434, Hopeful68 and anyone i have missed (sorry!) writing in a rush..

so tomorrow is my transfer day.. and of I go..  

Have good Thursdays Ladies... thanks for all the posts..


----------



## amkhan

Hello ladies!

I posted some time ago but haven't been able to follow up due to lack of time! Nevertheless, I've had a quick scan at the conversation but the amount of information is overwhelming!!!  

fififi and birdiepie - good luck, sending you my best wishes!
Lesley - symptoms sound good to me! 
Moominmum & Lucky - stay strong! Wishing 2ww goes by as quickly as possible...
afm - BFN in September. ET was great but I guess it wasn’t my time yet. I'm taking a couple months to grieve and relax and will be going back to IM in December. In the meantime I'm thinking of signing up for painting classes I wanted to joined some time ago!!! 

Love!


----------



## Moominmum

Hello everyone,

Fififi: hope today was fab. Cannot wait to hear you news! 
Birdie: don’t give up. I am keeping all my fingers and toes crossed for you.  
Lesley: hope your symptoms are continuing  
Lucky: hope that you can concentrate at work. How are you feeling?
Chandlerino: how exciting. Well done for taking the plunge and go on and do it!  
Amittai: good luck for tomorrow!  
Ajw: more   
Hopeful68, bannyb and anyone I’ve missed: hope you’re having a great day.

AFM, I am all over the place. Yes I am not physically affected as I was before (no more bloating or pain) but emotionally I still am. I can’t decide if it is because I am tired from everything or if it is the hormones trying to get back in balance. 

Also, I feel I need a plan B. We said to only do one round so we know that we made a serious attempt, but here I sit with drugs leftover prob covering a third of a protocol and as we wouldn’t need as many tests this time, hubby could just live a bit healthier and we would not need ICSI a new round would be considerably cheaper. Is there any list on FF of clinics and their costs?

I should really be applying for jobs but I just find it hard to focus.
I might just need to bake again  

Lots of love to all.


----------



## Moominmum

Oh and amkhan: if painting classes are full there is always baking - I have soon tried every recipe in the world


----------



## ajw

Hello everyone,
thanks so much for all the hugs. It's so nice to know you're all supporting me  
I did write a big post a couple of days ago, but lost it all. Probably just as well, as I was wallowing in self pity and it would have been a depressing read  

I feel much better now that I've got over the shock. It never even occurred to me before that we might not get anything to transfer... I've made an appointment to follow up and figure out what went wrong. This is NOT the end ladies!     I wil not be defeated  

I'll be checking in each day anyway to see how you're all doing and     that we get some good news to celebrate soon. Sending you all     for ET and 2ww.

Great news Chandlers, I'll be waiting to hear all about it   Don't be scared, it will be fab. I love the CZ. Used to go there a lot for work.  Good luck Amittai, hope your nerves settle!

Must get back to work...

 to all.

ajw


----------



## Birdiepie

I think my plan b is to try clinic. We missed out everything else and went straight to ivf. I don't think I want to go through it again unless it was a sure thing as the debt incurred would make actually looking after a baby harder and I am aware that I may just end up with huge debt and a broken heart.

I admire those of you that keep at it. 

My DH said last night that he wished we had had a baby 20 years ago. It made me sad as I loved him then as I love him now but felt too young, financially insecure blah blah blah and we ended up having a silly argument and falling out and now feel all that time for baby making was wasted although on saying that I am a much better and wiser person now than I was then


----------



## beckxx2

Hello all, hope you don't mind me popping in but I've been lurking around ff for a number of years wishing I could post that I was having treatment but now I can - tomorrow, we (my DH & I) are to embark on our 2nd cycle of IVF & ICSI - we had our 1st ever go in Jun/Jul which resulted in a BFN - we were sad but knew the chances were low (my AMH is 4.2 altho we got 6 eggs and 2 fertilised overnight) and have decided to give it one more try, we are under the LWC.
I will be doing a short protocol (again) but this time they have prescribed me different meds - last cycle was menopur & orgalutran this time they have prescribed me Gonal F & Cetrotide.
I am glad I have found this thread - so will try and pop in regularly.
Question: did anyone have ET the day after EC? 

Bec
xx


----------



## Birdiepie

I meant to say try clomid not clinic, bloody predictive text. Beck I had mine 3dpec x


----------



## Chandlerino

Bec - I had 2 x 2 day transfers and have not heard of anyone having transfer after egg collection day as that is when you normally get the call to see how many eggs have fertilised.

I'm doing gonal f and orgalutran with short protocol.

Birdie - I have read that clomid is not good for the over 40s - can't remember why though. I had 8 months of it at 40 and got pregnant 3 times - each time whilst not taking clomid! Made me feel evil! What about ovulation induction and follicle tracking using something else like gonal f?

Chand x


----------



## ajw

Hi Bec,
I did Gonal F and Cetrotide last time, so if you have any questions i can help out there.

I agree with Chandlerino on the 1 day transfer.

ajw


----------



## Birdiepie

Chandlerino I confess I know nothing about fertility drugs. Were you not taking the clomid when you got pregnant then or did you just have months when you didn't take it. I don't know what our options are really but whilst i don't think i would do ivf again i would be willing to try a drug protocol. 

Does anyone know if a drug protocol would be funded if we have had ivf as you normally try those methods first but we weren't offered anything else but ivf due to me being nearly 40 and getting in before the official funding cut off point.


----------



## Chandlerino

I doubt you would get anything funded after 40 but you could ask your NHS consultant. There was some talk in the papers a while back about NICE saying that PCT's should move the cutoff for treatment to 42 but in my area its 39 anyway and in others its 35.

Most private clinics do follicle tracking tho so may be worth finding out.


----------



## Lucky100

Wow this group is getting huge!!!
Lesley, hope your symptoms are continuing as they do sound really positive! 

Birdie Pie, Good luck for tomorrow, I hope you get a big fat BFP and the surprise of your life  

Moominmum, a plan B sounds good. Its strange isn't it thinking about regrets. I was ready to start trying 10 years ago, but my hubby wasn't. Little did we know that he had MFI, otherwise of course we would have made a different decision. But, we are where we are  

AJW: Hope your follow up app comes through quick and that you can get on the case and get some answers. Love your fighting spirit!  

Amittai, welcome and good luck for your ET tomorrow 

Big hello to bannyb, hopeful68, chandlerino, beckxx2, meme and Amkhan!! So many new FF friends, this is great!

AFM, still no symptoms of any sort (but I know if I had them I would be worrying anyway so I can't win . So glad to be back at work, as it is not giving me time to dwell.

Lucky100


----------



## LellyLupin

Hello Ladies xx

Welcome Amittai good luck for tomorrow, let us know how you get on  

Hello Amkhan  painting sounds wondefully calming, Moomin bakes but unfortunately for me I am useless at those sorts of things    I wish I was a little less challenged in those areas,  I can do lots of outdoorsey thing like ride bikes, horse etc but the finer things in life    Very good luck in December chick xx

Moomin listen to you and you haven't done your OTD yet, you may have no need to be changing hubbies lifestyle    Its good that you are planning ahead though if it keeps you occupied. xx

Ajw so glad to hear you are not so down now, and you are picking yourself up and thinking of future plans  

Birdie please don't look back like that, you made the best choices at the time.  We could all do the coulda, woulda, shouldas but they were the right choices we made for then.  My ex pressured me for a baby for a decade and in my fertile years too, and it was the last thing on my mind.  I wasn't ready then and neither were you, I think everyone needs to get to a place where they are emotionally ready, and its a mistake to have a baby when you are not there.  So don't regret the past its what makes you the lovely lady you are now  

Hi Beck I have never heard of ET the day after EC, I would have thought you would have to let your womb settle at least for a day as EC is so invasive xx

Fifi any news?

AFM got sent home with a migraine today,  so am debating asking my clinic if the Clinival is really necessary.  It says on the leaflet not to take if you suffer from migrianes and I  do big time.  Felt sick all morning came home and slept for 5 hours and now I feel ok.  I think my symptoms are a bug and not pregnancy related.  Its funny how many people have told me in the last few days how horrible the first few months of preganancy are  

Anyway to stave off the 2ww madness I am going to keep myself busy and I am off to the flicks to see Sinister tomorrow night, I'll scare these embies into hanging on  

Love to all xx


----------



## fififi

Evening everyone - wow so much activity today it's taken me ages to read!!!

ET went ok-ish today - didn't start off well as the doctor doing the transfer was the same one who had told us at the scan in March that my twins had stopped growing. It was so horrible just seeing him today and I felt such a sense of negativity when realised he was doing transfer. He's only person at entire clinic without any people skills so not only did I already wish he wasn't there but also the way he told us that our embryos weren't particularly good quality was also way too blunt and without feeling.
So with a sinking feeling we went into theatre ... fortunately the embryologist was much more upbeat and told us that although the embryos weren't quite at blastocyst she reckoned they only needed a few more hours. So with friendly nursing staff being equally encouraging we watched on screen our 2 remaining embryos arriving in womb.
Now just got to try and push the negativity out and try and get the positivity needed to believe and get through the next 2 weeks. Hoping that I'll wake up in the morning excited to know there's 2 little beings inside    

birdiepie - really, really hoping you get fantastic surprise tomorrow      (on my BFP cycle I'd cried myself to sleep the night before as was so devastated by fact I'd had no symptoms & was sure AF about to start)

everyone else - sorry for the big me post. It's been a really emotional day so not up to personals tonight, will catch up tomorrow x


----------



## beckxx2

The reason I asked about ET the day after EC was because when we had our IVF cycle in July I did the short protocol and had EC on the 3rd July then they phoned me early the next morning to advise that 2 eggs had fertilised over night and they wanted to transfer them back that day so because of this they were unable to tell me the grades of the eggs. I hadn't heard of ET a day after EC before and upon getting a BFN I was really concerned but when we asked the Dr why they did the ET when they did & enquired if this hampered the chances of it sticking but he said the reason they do a 1 day transfer sometimes is because the egg ideally is better off being where nature intended!! 
Now I am concerned this time around if no-one has heard of a 1 day transfer before - I will have to question the nures again tomorrow at my scan


----------



## Birdiepie

Fififi I bet that was awful and you should be so proud if yourself for holding it together. Working in the NHS I am always suprised how many employees have little or no people skills.

Beck I've never heard of a 1dt but I am new to all this. I certainly wouldn't be scared to ask any questions. Write them all down so you don't forget.


----------



## LellyLupin

Aw Fiffes thats fabulous news you are now PUPO        You are entitled to have a me post you have earned it xxxx

Beck I wouldn't get too concerned, each clinic has a different opinion as to where the egg should be and how fast.  The point is if the egg is going to develop it will no matter whether its in you or in a petri dish.  I have heard both opinions and I conclude that you have you trust your clinic to do the right thing for you,  based on your tests.  xx


----------



## beckxx2

Thanks Lesleylupin......that's kind of what the Dr was trying to say to us I guess & it did make sense at the time but too much time on your hands makes you over analyze every little thing lol! xx


----------



## bannyb

Birdiepie just popping on to wish you lots of luck for tomorrow. Will be thinking of you,    for a positive result for you. 
Big hello to everyone else, will do more personals tomorrow, absolutely knickknackeroonied tonight! xx


----------



## Birdiepie

Thankyou Bannyb  

I have an appointment tomorrow lunchtime but I guess they will just confirm what I feel in my heart.

A positive to come from this is 'meeting' you guy


----------



## Moominmum

fififi: sorry to hear about the doctor but it is over now and you are now PUPO - welcome to the club - well done  

Beck: trust your clinic, they all have their own approach to this sci-fi process. I had my embryo put back one day earlier than planned. And speaking to the embryologist afterwards (when I started to wonder about it) she explained that the reason they keep them "in the lab" is to the see which embryo(s) that will turn out to be the best. I had a planned transfer for day 5 or 6 but by day 4 there were 2 clear "winners" and I was called in to have them transferred (well I only had one as it turned out as DH just could not accept the minimal "risk" of having twins) that very day. My clinic believe that the womb is the best incubator. So in your case, you had two eggs and therefore they were the "winners" from day 1. That is how I would see it. Makes sense? Do note that I am an IVF first-timer so I don't know for sure of course.

Lesley: movie tomorrow sounds great. I have actually been out twice this week already to keep my mind busy. But the problem is during the day as I am currently job hunting and can just not focus enough on that. But I have plans for tomorrow.

I know about the regrets thing but really it is not much we can do about it now except for what we are doing! Of course I am sometimes mad with myself having been so naive but then, what do these thoughts help now? Better to focus on the present and future. 

Everyone else, hope you're doing well.


----------



## Amittai

Hi Ladies from a chilly but now in warm and snuggly hotel in Brno.. hope you all doing well.. i feel honoured to now join the ranks of the PUPO Clan, with OTD of 24 Oct.. lets hope Oct is a good month for ALL of us!

sorry this message is a bit self indulgent, i will be back to a more normal humane state soon!!

I ended up having 2 embies transferred, only cos it just kind of happened that way, it just sort of 'happened', i know it must sound strange and as if I wasn't in control.. but immediately when i saw the doc he started telling me about my 2 embies which he said are already hatching! (different doc to the one i saw last time. previosly in my memory, we had kind of agreed on 1 emby.. but anywayzzz)  and he looked so encouraging and happy it was so infectuous..  but still, i wasnt quite sure if he meant oh now you choose one, or what, because originally the previous doc had said 1 embie would be fine for me given the age of the donor. but then this one started talking about 2.

so although i had 'decided' on one, the un-grownup in me wanted 2!! and of course i would imagine the odds are just better with 2 so long as they are good quality..  (unscientifically said of course) and also i have been running on 'what is meant to be will be' juice the last while.. and i just though what the heck 2 is good.. and low and behold, dispite all the anxiety and panic attacks i've been on-and-off having the last few weeks... i feel quite at home and peaceful now. lets see how long that lasts!! but for now.. it is nice..

It was indeed quite a moving experience (i am surprised to report) to see the two beautiful little embies, well, they are quite BIG on the telly, on the screen... who would ever have thought that a black and white like thing that looks like a science experiment could generate such emotion.. how does a person start feeling attached to a telly screen picture?

so i am glad i have 2 embies now, they are keeping each other company, i hope they are busy burrowing like mad as i write.. i imagine they have tiny little emby hands for burrowing and their little feet are in the air kicking away like mad too!
soon it is time for us to go for supper  

fififi; Moominmum; Lucky100 hope the waiting is treating you well! 
      

Birdiepie - thinking of you on your test day...  

Meme, Amkhan, bannyb, hopeful68, chandlerino, beckxx2 - Hii  

happy friday evenings peeps  ,  thanks for the messages of good luck, they helped a lot! over and out for now...


----------



## Lucky100

Ah, great news Ammitai, well done!  
Hope your two embies are settling in nicely 

Lucky100


----------



## Lucky100

Fifi,
Well done to you! Great news. 

Lucky100


----------



## hopeful68

just a real quick update as i am sure some are wondering but not asking!! AF/MC started today - typically while at work, so my body is trying to sort itself out, just my head now!! work has been good and in fact has even arranged a secondment until april in a different area altogether!! so no shifts, no weekends and no prying questions form colleagues!! - by april they will have forgotten!!

now bleeding i can plan my nice spa w/end, hopefully this wont take long so first w/end in Nov looking good and i have leave booked then!! - first steps to healing body and mind!! then a diet and excersice to shift the belly and comfort food tyre!!

i hope all of you are doing well at your various stages. will keep an eye on a few of you that i have cycled with. take care.... M


----------



## Birdiepie

Aww hopeful that must have been awful making you hang on like that. One of my mc was a blighted ovum. By the time I found out I had already named it and planned its life out though  

As you say though you can now move forward. I had medical management which didn't work and the wait for mc was awful  

The spa weekend sounds lovely


----------



## tigge66

Hi All

Can I join you please?

I am 4dp3dt On the 2ww.

Hopeful I remember how awful it was when I had my mmc 6 years ago and I too had the doc with zero people skills. At 12 weeks told no HB and had stopped at about 7 weeks. Waited half an hour to see a junior doctor who said you were on Clomid (as if it was something to be ashamed of) you do realise that causes a risk of multiples. I bit my tongue and didn't respond, as soon as he left the room I said to my husband what a p######, I had just miscarried my single baby. On a more positive note one the AF Started my recipe very started.   I opted for ERCP as my body hadn't mc naturally and just wanted it over.

Amittai I had no choice as I only had one egg on my first 2 cycles and it worked second go. It is personal choice. I've gone for 2 the last 3 times, I hope this one sticks. 

Tigger


----------



## LellyLupin

Well done Amittai, welcome to PUPO      I have 3 in !!!  I must admit i am a little worried but thats what the docs recommended.  I hope you get your little miracle xx

Hi Tigger  welcome rto the fold, how are you finding the 2WW?

Hi Hopeful great news about work xx

Hi Birdie did I miss your result or haven't you had it yet?  Hope it was good news xxx

AFM finally feeling a bit less sick, nearly cracked and did test today but resisted.  Having achey pains now xx


----------



## tigge66

Hi All

Leslerlupin thank you, the 2ww nerve racking. Would be lovely to just sleep it away!   resist the testing  .

Tigger


----------



## bannyb

Hi Tigge, welcome! And I hope the 2 ww is going well, lots of luck!


LL glad you're feeling a bit better. Well done for resisting testing early, I remember how hard it is not to! I think you said your OTD is 21st? If so probably best not to test this early, it may well not show up yet and you need to keep that PMA going for the rest of the 2 ww!


Hi Birdiepie, I've been thinking of you, hope the news was good on Friday?   


Hopeful, it must be a relief to be finally told for certain, but I am so sorry   Enjoy that well deserved spa!

Big hello to ]Lucky, Amittai, Moominmum, Beck, fififi, chandlerino, meme, and anyone else I've missed, hope you're all doing well.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend!


Bannyb


----------



## urbangirl

Hi all, goodness, so many different people at different stages I can't keep up at all, but good luck everyone who is on the 2ww. LesleyL, you are so funny, you are so organised, I loved your little symptoms list! I really really hope that they are all signs of the right things happening in there, then I'll keep the list to check when I'm next pupo!

AFW, really sorry for such a disappointing end to your cycle, no transfer is awful, I've had that situation. If only we had a reliable way to predict outcomes, some way to know which is the month our best eggs are going to make themselves available...

Hopeful, how dreadful to have that situation dragged out for so long.   . It takes a lot to recover from these knocks. & having to go through this at work is awful, I remember that with my miscarriage, I just wanted to crawl into a little ball and cry my eyes out but had to sit there looking 'professional'. Women are so strong, men have no idea.....

Becky, I feel differently to everyone else on the 'trust your clinic' line. I never ever trust my clininc and always ask exactly why they're doing what they're doing. I've had a lot of trouble with clinics because of this, as they almost all seem to hate to be questioned, but they should, in my view, always be challenged and questioned, or else they will never improve. The fact is, they often get things wrong. I'm not saying your clinic have got it wrong, but you should know why they made the decision they did, that is the only way you can feel comfortable and have full confidence in your treatment. No doubt they are doing their best for you and have a strategy to achieve that, but when paying thousands of £££ you should (if you want to) know what that strategy is. One thing I can't stand is when they hand you a load of very strong medications and tell you to take them- without telling you exactly what they're for. In one case for me I was handed medication that was contra-indicated for me, but it was member of a 'family' of medicines that I shouldn't take that I didn't recognise. They weren't thorough enough to ask me for my medical history but I asked exactly what each thing was and what it was for and hey ho-whhaddaya- know, found they'd given me something I have to avoid...

AFM my cycle wasn't going that well so I cancelled it. Wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't already _been abroad_!! The clinic was like, "We can carry on," but I would have got 2 follicles probably at most and now, at the point I am financially, I need more that that to make it worthwhile so rather than have a poor result I decided to cut my losses and keep the rest of the money to put towards a new, hopefully much better one, in a couple of months. For people like me with low amh there's always a high risk of empty follicles and I couldn't risk that with only two follicles to play with in the first place, there was a real chance that I might have 0000000 at EC, & found myself a couple of thousand pounds poorer to boot. So, back home, doing the usual boring trying to be healthy stuff....


----------



## Tiny21

Hi Lovely ladies, just bookmarking as I may join you so that I can go mad here! 2nd stimming scan tomorrow. 

Will post in more detail later xxx


----------



## Lucky100

Hi everyone,

Hopeful, sorry to hear that AF arrived, but you seem to be dealing with it well...your spa break sounds like such a good idea and will be just what you need as you say to get you on the healthy mind/body thing.

Tigger, welcome, hope you are doing ok on your 2ww. 

Fifi, any news? I think your OTD was Friday? Hope you are ok, thinking of you  

Lesley, how are the symptoms?  

Moominmum, how are you doing?  

AFM, had some AF type pain yesterday but nothing today. The first week on the 2ww was actually fine, but as the days tick down now I am willing AF to keep away. I am still listening to my zita west relaxation every day, and thinking positively. Its so nice to let your mind daydream about what the positive outcome might be like.

Love to everyone!

Lucky100


----------



## Moominmum

Hi All,

Great to “see” so many new faces. Hope you’ve had a relaxing weekend.

Amittai: well done and congrats on being PUPO!  
Hopeful: so sorry to hear and what an awful wait. The spa weekend sounds amazing though – well deserved!  
Tigge: welcome to the thread. What do you do to keep your mind busy during the 2ww?  
Lesley: how are you feeling today and how is your mum?  
Lucky: listening to Zita West sounds like a good idea. If we do a second round I will defo invest in that!  
Fififi: how is the 2ww going?  
Birdie: hope you have great news for us!  
Ajw: hope you are feeling better now.   

AFM, we went to the in-laws for a short break over the w/e which was nice as I had to do absolutely nothing. I start having symptoms again (quite particular ones that I can remember from previous BFPs) but I am so aware that it might be only my brain playing games with me. This 2ww is driving me insane.   I don’t understand why I have to wait all the way until next Sunday – that is just pure torture. I am today 9dp4dt. Do you have any idea why the clinic might have asked me to not test before the 21/10? I don't think I will last another full week.

There are so many in the thread now so anyone I have not mentioned a big  

Thank you all for being in the thread. It is my life saver.

Moominmum


----------



## tigge66

Hi All

Moominimum I keep looking up the stage of development for the embryos even though I know if off by heart after nearly 10 years of TTC. I am also working full time so keeps me busy. The earliest clinics seem to test is 14 days post EC, some later which may reduce the number of chemical pregnancies they record. No reason that HCG wouldn't be high enough to pick up tomorrow. Great that you are getting the positive symptoms. I always say if its BFN it is just too early and a BFP would be true. But I shouldn't tempt you to test early but sent the p  . 

Tiny welcome to the thread. Hope your scan goes well. 

Lucky I still haven't pulled out my Zita West yet this time. 

Fififi how is you 2ww going? Your ET was 2 days after mine. 

Lesley how is the sickness, I have had some mild feeling of sickness since ET, think its the meds rather than a sign at the moment. 

Hi to all that I have not mentioned, I hope you are all coping with this rocky road.

AFM no sign of spotting despite Clexane inj  . Hopefully implantation should have started by now although sometimes FET takes a bit longer. 

Tigger


----------



## Chandlerino

Hi ladies 

Started stimming tonight - very weird not having to sniff that god awful synrael but I'm liking short protocol! Flying to Brno on saturday with DH so he can leave a 'deposit' on sunday, ec weds 24th.

Hope you are ok ajw xx

UG - sorry you had to cut short your last cycle  

good luck ladies on 2ww xx


----------



## Moominmum

Tigge: are you supposed to be spotting with Clexane?   I have nothing. And btw, I find Clexane utterly horrible, first just to get the needle in and then how it stings...

Good to be working! Whilst TTC I have been retraining so whilst doing this cycle I am also job hunting (with limited focus!).


----------



## BabyDreams400

Hi ladies.  I'm new to this thread but I have been following your posts for a few weeks.  I'm a regular on the aug/sep ivf thread.  My last IVF in Aug was BFN and I've been waiting to start another cycle.  My clinic only waits 1 bleed so I was expecting to start this month.  Unfortunately, got AF today and did my bloods and was so depressed by the numbers...they were the worst I have ever had (despite the DHEA I'm taking).

FSH 32.6
LH  14.4
E2    less than 10

My worst FSH previously was 12.20 so I'm unpleasantly surprised by today's numbers.  It's so frustrating waiting and doing all you can to bring your hormones into balance then getting such a bad result.  Has anybody on this thread had high numbers like this one month and then good numbers next month?  If so, I would love to ask what you did to bring them down.

Best of luck to all the 2ww-ing women.  I know it's such a hard thing to sit-and-wait while wondering all the time and analyzing every pain/twinge/pull you feel.  Hang in there ladies xoxoxo


----------



## tigge66

Hi All

Moominmum just higher likelihood of bleeding due t o clexane thinning the blood. Good that we are not! Clexanes does seem to sting for a while after the jab. This time last year I was mid cycle and had to be interview for my present job (had been doing the job for a while as a secondment), talk about adding to the stress. What training have you been doing? 

Baby dreams welcome to the thread, it's great to have all the wonderful support.

Tigger


----------



## Moominmum

Tigge: phew   . I am so confused with the whole process, so worried to be doing something wrong. It is so much emotionally, physically and financially at stake... 

Wishing everyone a great day!  

Moominmum


----------



## amkhan

Moominmum and Lesleylupin- I love baking but sadly ain't that good of a cook... Tried baking a cake for my niece this weekend... you don't want to know how that turned out haha! Painting will do for the mom    

How is your migraine Lesleylupin? Hope you're feeling better already!

Amittai - let us know how your embryos do   

Lucky - may I ask what zita west relaxation is about? Might do me some good during my months off IVF... I've heard quite a lot about her but have never researched closely. 

AFM - Painting classes begin in November, can't wait! Nevertheless, I'm an active gal and it's hard to just sit around and wait for next cycle. I feel like I'm losing my time but must keep my thoughts positive. Can't wait for December to come already though!


----------



## beckxx2

Well started my injections on Friday and got my 2nd scan tomorrow - keeping positive!


----------



## amkhan

Keeping my fingers crossed for you Beckxx2


----------



## Moominmum

Beckxx2: fingers crossed for you from me too!


----------



## beckxx2

Thank-you Amkham & Moominmum xx


----------



## fififi

Hi all ...

Sorry for lack of posts recently - I've been trying to avoid being online as seem to drift off onto Google to "just check something" then end up convinced I'm doomed!!!!
- As you can see the 2ww is not going great as seem unable to relax & also my mind is being way too negative. Desperately hope I get some pg signs soon as need something to help boost me. (That said I've never had any symptoms before when got BFP except for bigger & more tender boobs & I've had those since before EC so that's no help!)
- I'm starting clexane today as finally managed to speak with NHS miscarriage consultant re my IVF cycle and she said that since technically I'm pregnant she'd prescribe it now. I was down to take it if natural miracle had occurred. Loving fact she said I was currently pg & she's a professional!!!!     (moominmum & tigee have you much experience with clexane? any tips for 1st real injection tonight?)
- OTD is 24 October which is 18 days after EC so my clinic don't want to take any chances there - and being superstitious sort I will stick by that as don't want to "chance" anything.

beck - hope scan goes well  

Moominmum - glad you had relaxing weekend & symptoms sound good. Your OTD is a way off considering EC date but the good thing is it's a Sunday so hopefully you & DH will both not be dashing off to work so can do it with a certain element of calm. (My DH leaves at 7ish for work so on test day I'll have to be weeing at 6:30 ish - prob be too tired to see result!!!)

tigge - hoping your sickness is a sign of good things   Are you working this week?

chandlerino - lots & lots of positive thoughts for next week. Hoping trip is a big success   

babydreams - sorry that your bloods came back so poor. Are you waiting to cycle in end? My FSH was 22 in July but retested Aug & down to 9 - some may have been hormone imbalance due to my mmc still but following advice from fertility nutritionist I had ground linseed every day (yuk but worth it) ate lots of bananas and cut out even decaf tea. Hope you get turn around soon & it's just a blip  

lucky - how are you keeping? Any exciting feelings?  

amittai - hi & welcome. Hope all going well for you after madness of last week. Your post sounded so full of excitement I'm really pleased for you   

hopeful - sorry to see you've reached the point you have, never easy even when you know it's going to happen    Glad your work have given you opportunity to move away for a bit and time out sounds definitely what you need

lesley - how's it going with you & the trio?!! Hope you managed to have a more restful weekend than the last one. When is your OTD? Thinking of you  

bannyb - hope all's going well with you  

birdiepie - I spotted a post you made on a different thread and was so sorry to read that you'd not got positive news. Thinking of you & hope you're doing as ok as it's possible to be considering how cr*p life is treating you right now    

Anyone else who I've missed - sorry, & hope you're all okay


----------



## Lucky100

Hi Amkhan,
The zita west thing is a visualisation/relaxation cd which you can downloàd from iTunes. It's really good. There are different reçordings for pre and post egg transfer and another one for the2ww. I listen to it every day, not sure how much it helps but I like to do it as it helps me feel like I'm doing something positive!

Fifi, I haven't really had any symptoms, but I do feel excited now! I was interested to read about the clexane, I haven't heard of it before and my clinic havent offered it to me?

Babydreams, hope your bloods improve  

Becky, wshing you lots of luck  

Hi to urban girl, Ammitai, banny b, Moominmum Lesley and everyone else!


----------



## Moominmum

fififi: good to hear from you  just a quick reply re Clexane. The way I do it - as I find this one a bit of a "tough" one is that I pinch myself hard (I take it in my lower tummy) and then push the needle slowly until it is in. Once the needle is in, I get the liquid in slowly. It stings a bit when doing it but for me it is the most "pleasant" way of doing it. Good luck!  

Lucky: I think that Clexane is if you have a mc history. That is what I believe at least.

Re my "symptoms" I sadly think it is just my brain playing games with me. I am going bonkers with this 2ww!  I've never had symptoms before this early. Oh well, another day is soon over!


----------



## Moominmum

Oh and now I think I have AF symptoms.   Please let me sleep until Sunday.


----------



## urbangirl

Hi Chandlerino, must be exciting to have all your dates now, and Brno is so nice, I like it there, everything is so pretty.  They are bound to have some lovely winter fair in the square with music and mulled wine...

Babydreams, I'm with FIfi on this, I'm sure it's a blip.  I haven’t had an FSH that high but mine does vary, from 5 to 15.  There’s no rhyme or reason to it that I can see cos I don’t do anything different any month, each month is the same tedium of healthy diet, exercise etc etc.  If I ever get pregnant I think I will live on cream cakes and everything else I've deprived myself of for a year.  

So many of you on the 2ww, I'm     for everyone.  The 2ww is torture but I think it's still better than not having tx at all and no reason to hope for the month.  I hope we get a load of bfp's here at once, Lesley- c'mon, lets have 3 from you to up the figures!!!


----------



## Moominmum

urbangirl: I am with you on Lesley - 3 please!


----------



## tigge66

Hi All

Fififi some say ice cube to tummy first. I haven't used ice I just go for the quick jab to get the needle in, then slow push on the plunger, mine then shoots a clear plastic tube around the needle so you don't have to pull needle out. Do not rub the site as it will cause more bruising. 

Moominmum I agree totally we put our whole selves into this. I have always thought if it works it is so worth the money and if it doesn't I may think why did I spend all that money. We spent about 10,000 to get our DD E and even though we only had her for 20 weeks it was worth every penny. 

Urbangirl, babydreams when I first started this journey years ago they said it was the highest FSH that was the marker of ovarian reserve and how you might respond. They didn't tend to repeat it once you had a high, I think mine was about 12. Things change though and us women may fluctuate more than thay gave us credit for. 

Lesley have you cracked yet and tested? 

AFM 6dp3dt and counting. Having more indigestion and feeling a bit sick in the morning but on so many meds think it is them. Have lost a few pounds since ET which is good. 

Tigger.


----------



## Moominmum

fififi, tigge: I tried the ice thing once - waste of time. More hassle and it still stings is what I found? But it might work for you


----------



## fififi

moom & tigge - just done injection & not too bad. Gone  bit red & tingly but not much worse than ivf jabs.  Midwife this morning scared me as felt I'd prob bruise lots so will see what happens. Not sure I'm keen on doing this long term. But if it gives me an extra chance I'll soon be smiling


----------



## tigge66

Hi All

Fififi not sure how long I will be on my meds if this works might be my thing to google next. I know my cyclogest time was extended last time as I bled when I first tried to come off of it. Ended up continuing until about 12 weeks. Glad it went well and it will be worth it. 

Tigger


----------



## fififi

tigge - my consultant says she generally prescribes the clexane for 12 weeks but will review case when/if get nearer the time. I guess stopping it will always be quite a leap of faith. Get the feeling it's another of those drugs that every doctor/clinic has different opinion on


----------



## tigge66

Fififi yes I think it is a lot of trial and error. If it helps I don't mind.

Tigger  .


----------



## bannyb

Tigge, didn't want to read and run as just read your profile, hope you don't mind me posting this but all you have been through has brought tears to my eyes, I really will be   for you that this one is the one for you


----------



## LellyLupin

Hello you busy lot, wow lots of messages to catch up on todayxx

No I haven't cracked yet Tigge I nearly did but then couldn't find my peestick    I think you are right about the meds,  I have been really up and down, l having the blues one minute and feeling quite cheerful the next.  Can't wait for the 21st to get this overwith.  I nearly rang the clinic to ask to come off the hrt as I think thats whats making me feel ill.  I only seem to feel less queasy if I have sugary things which I know are not good for me.  Honestly girls we should get a medal for enduring the 2WW its only fair    Its like a bloody endurance test.  I go to work and all I want to do is lay down when I come home, on a happy note I have managed to find a tea that I can endure and have stocked up on Earl Grey -Phew !!  I have to say this week seems to have gone in slow motion and it sounds like the rest of the 2ww crew feel exactly the same.  

Moomin Mum is doing ok now thanks sweetie, how is the baking going?  You should teach me and Amkhan to bake as it sounds like we are both useless and it will stop you wiggin out   xx

Good luck for your scan Becks xx

Lucky hang on in there, only one more week to endure!  

Hello Tiny how did your scan go?

So you are wishing triplets on me huh?  Ok then as long as someone takes one off me, I think I could cope with twins but I am not sure I could cope with 3 and as for DP  

Babydreams I am a little confused by the FSH talk as my consultant said your FSH level should be ideally be under 10 and it was your AMH levels that should be high?    Has he/I got it the wrong way around?

Fifi you are PUPO , glad you got your meds though that must be more of a comfort for you.  If I get a BFN I am going to concentrate on getting back into shape, I have never felt so lazy and 'not myself' as I have this round, I am sick to death of drugs I feel like a junkie.  At least the Cyclogest haven't been so bad this time, they made me soooo sore last time, does anyone else get that?

Hi to bannyb xx

Birdie I am so sorry chick  

Chands glad to hear you have started stimms, good luck girl xx

UG I really admire how strict you are with yourself, not sure I could ever be that good.  If anyone deserves to stuff themselves with creamcakes its you !!   I laughed when you said I was organised I only write lists because I am so old I forget if I don't  

Hope I haven't missed anyone   to one and all xx


----------



## tigge66

Bannyb no don't mind at all it has been a rough ride but we were lucky to have had E in our life. We cry and we smile when we remember like the time she saw a cow from 3foot away, don't know who was more shocked E or the cow. 

Tigger


----------



## bannyb

Such beautiful precious memories for you Tigger  
Hope the 2 ww soon passes and brings good news for you and all you other lovely ladies at the same stage
 for you all
AFM on the count down now, start noresthisterone a week today, can't come soon enough!


----------



## amkhan

Thanks Lucky! Sounds great, I'll have a look at it later. I'm firmly convinced that anything you feel works actually does, so trying can't do any damage!  

Hi to all the rest


----------



## SuperKitty

Hello ladies...I was wondering if I could join this thread?  I'm 40 and have just started DR last Friday for our second go at IVF.  Not sure whether I need to apply to a moderator or something to join...?


----------



## Moominmum

amkhan: I might try too now.  Anything that can help.

superkitty: welcome to the thread!  

This 2ww is just too much for me. I had some blood on the progesterone applicator this morning and called the clinic in panic. They said it was normal though but I don't know - I am just not cut for this wait. Bored of baking now. I have some sewing projects lined up instead. Do note that I am not a crafts person or particularly homely. I am at my best behind a desk really... 

Being on my first cycle I have nothing but admiration for all of you who have gone through this process before!


----------



## fififi

Currently in deep panic as had lot of dark ish blood this morning. Nurse at clinic didn't reasure at all saying it could be fine or possibly start of af. Feel so low as not had this with IVF before and always get dark discharge 4/5 days before normal af.
Trying to get hold of nhs doctor who prescribed clexane in case that's had an effect. 
Hoping that this isn't game over


----------



## Moominmum

oh fififi, I feel so for you!


----------



## Moominmum

fififi: of course I wanted to say try to not panic but I know that's easier said than done.


----------



## SuperKitty

fififi - sending positive thoughts your way, hope that it's nothing to worry about


----------



## fififi

Thanks 
Clexane consultant doesn't think the clexane caused it so it's just a waiting game now. Seems too heavy to be implantation bleed so now just got to hope it stops. Feel so sad and helpless. Extra wishing & praying needed big time now


----------



## tigge66

Hi All

Fififi sorry to hear about you concerns. Hope it settles.   

Moominmum that sound like nesting to me, all the home crafts. Lots of people who get a BFP see some spottining during 2ww, has it settled yet.

Bannyb hope the down reg goes well.

AFM 7dp3dt and counting... 

Tigger


----------



## Moominmum

fififi: more positive thoughts your way   

tigge: nesting or just being restless. Yes, there has been no more since. Thanks for your positive words  

Also, I have no been allowed to test on Friday so less wait. phew


----------



## tigge66

Moominmum glad you have an earlier OTD, did seem like a long wait.

Tigger


----------



## Lucky100

Hi all
Posting whilst at work cant be a good thing! My OTD is tomorrow...it has come round quickly for me  especially the last few days. Had some light pink blood this morning and stomach feels bloated and a bit like it does before AF...hoping so much that is not the case!  
Feeling very nervous and excited now.  
Will catch up properly on all the posts when i get home...sorry for the all about me post but my mind is making these last few hours hell 
Lucky100


----------



## ajw

Oooooo! Good luck for tomorrow Lucky!      

ajw


----------



## fififi

Lucky - have blown you a bubble for luck. It does seem quick but really hoping you are the first of many BFPs


----------



## Moominmum

Lucky: will be thinking about you tomorrow and await your news!


----------



## bannyb

Fififi      and    Really hope it's early pregnancy bleeding and not AF     for you. 


Moominmum are you using crinone? I had the same thing the cycle I used crinone and the crinone turned a light pink colour and looked a lot like blood but they told me this was normal and a good sign, and it turned out to be true.     for you that it's a good sign. Hope the next two days pass quickly for you.


Lucky, lots of     for tomorrow 


Hi superkitty, welcome and good luck!


----------



## bannyb

Fififi so sorry just read that back to myself and of course I don't want you to be bleeding if it's early pregnancy, I just meant that I hope it's a BFP and not AF, sorry if it sounded like I wanted you to have early pregnancy bleeding, obviously wouldn't wish that upon anyone. Hope I'm making sense!


----------



## Lucky100

Fifi,
Just read your posts. Has the bleeding stopped now? It annoys me when you ring the clinic and they are not reassuring. This happened to me too with one particular nurse. I think that they are so careful not to get your hopes up that they can sometimes come across as a bit uncaring. I was in tears when I rang, and she just kept saying, "I don't know wat you want me to say". Awful. 

Anyway, hope to god that you are ok. Let us know   

Moominumum, have you had any more blood today (sorry for the direct question)? Great that you can test on Friday. Hang in there! 

Banny b good luck on your down reg! 

Lesley & Tigge66 keep busy, the days are ticking down to your OTD  

Super kitty, welcome!  

Hi to AJw, Amkhan & Ammitai,and Chandlerino!  

Lucky100


----------



## Moominmum

bannyb: yes I am using Crinone. Thanks for your encouraging words. I also hope it is a good sign!   Btw, does Crinone delay/postpone your AF or is it like "normal"? I really am clueless about this and have no idea what to expect these last few days (beyond me going more insane). Exciting about you starting your down reg soon!

Lucky: nope nothing more. But I am terrified of taking the progesterone/Crinone tonight again and also I have hardly dared to go to the loo (as if that would help). More   for you tomorrow

fifif: hope things are better now    

beck: how was your scan?  

Chandlerina & tiny: how is it all going?  

Amittai & Lesley: hope the 2ww is going alright. Lesley, not long to go now!
  

Everyone else: big


----------



## Amittai

Hi Ladies,

jeewiz, there is so much going on.. so many tests coming up, and trips being planned. 
Tralala!! 

Firstly fififi - so sorry to read about what is happening for you, i really really hope it is just a little glitch and turns out to all be ok. please please please be ok.     

Lucky100 and  Lesleylupin
- wow test day tomorrow gals, wow wow.. holding thumbs big time and all fingers crossed at all times until test. Lesley that is so amazing and brave about 3 embies, respect! I think you have to be a winnner, and Lucky too!  

Tigge66m and Moominmum - i think your test days are just just on the horizon but Mooninmum you got the nod to test early right? Yay! same wishes as for Lucky and Lesley. I must say I agree with what you say about having so much admiration for ladies that have just kept at it for so many cycles. I'm also on my first (well, 2nd if i count the half done IVF cycle) and am truely inspired by all the signatures i read and the stories of resiliance and sticking-at-it-ness..
      

Tomorrow is hopefully gonna be a great day for test results.  

SuperKitty - Hi, and good and lots of luck for your 2nd IVF cycle. 

Hi Amkhan, you are sounding most creative and full of energy, with baking, painting classes, I am impressed! nice  

Hi Chanderlina hope the planning is going well..  and Hi BannyB hope downreg-ing is going as calmly as it can..!

Ajw, hope you hanging in there.. thinking about you and hope you are beginning to heal and get some spirit back in the machine  

Hi too to everyone else that I might have missed..

Well, I am back from CZ now, I'm on day 5 of my wait, glad to be back in my own home and just sort of still getting my head around everything, its happening so fast, i feel like i have symptoms but i dont know if they are just like AF type symptoms or druggy symtoms or emotional overload symptoms from CZ but any which way, no AF so that is all good in my books!

well, by for now everyone, and happy testing for all the tomorrow testers!


----------



## fififi

bannyb - don't worry I understood what you meant. There's a slight chance it's late implantation bleed but from what I've read it's worryingly bit too much.

lucky - I definitely spoke with bit of an insensitive nurse. I agree that they don't want to build up false hope but hope would have helped me right now 

Bleed has eased little but am hating going to toilet as so scared it'll be heavier. Feel so sad already. Going to be wishing all night that luck comes my way & no more blood until July! 
Off to see if bit of  Zita helps me relax a bit


----------



## urbangirl

Fififi & Lucky, really good luck

Okay, here's one to cheer us older ladees up, a 96 year old man in India has had his second child by his 54 year old wife. 
The first one was born two years ago! mmm.... perhaps he isn't the real father (remember the taxi boys in Eat, Pray, Love!)
but I'm sure she's the genetic mum as they clearly aren't candidates for fertility treatment&#8230;... Read & smile!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2218588/Ramjit-Raghav-Worlds-oldest-dad-does-96-does-sex-times-night.html

/links


----------



## LellyLupin

Hello girls xx

Glad to hear the bleeding has slowed down Fifi and Moomin, gosh this is so hard to deal with isn't it.  When are your test dates?  I pray to god you both hang on in there    Anyone else think this 2ww has crawled by its been more like a month!

Good luck for tomorrow Lucky, please please have a BFP and give us some hope xx

Hello Superkitty, welcome to the madhouse  

21st is my test date Amittai I wish it was sooner I am fed up now.  Been getting lots of achey pains today but don't feel sick anymore.  Having a bit of a crisis cos I can't find my hrt tablets anywhere    

Hello everyone else  sorry for the short post tonight but a bit worried about my little dog who is acting a bit strange today.  And I have been very grumpy today too I am sick of myself.

Good luck everyone off to track down my hrt - sigh xx


----------



## Salad4

Hi there - hope you don't mind me posting.  We're now half way through our 4th IVF treatment - at the Lister - it's our first one here after IVF #1 at CRM; #2&3 at Create.  This cycle is going really really slowly, and as the nurse said when I asked what it mean, "well... it's not good".  I go back for a scan on Thursday when if there's been no progress then I'll need to speak to the doctor (presumably to cancel the cycle).  I started on 300iu fostimon on Saturday 7 October and when they scanned me on Monday there were only three follicles all less than 10mm.  
I think it's a really long response time and typically I have been a poor responder, so feeling worried.  Oh yes and I'm really old (45) as they keep saying....! On the plus side I've been doing various meditations, which are helping calm me.  
I don't know people on this string, as it's a while since I last was on, but hope you don't mind me butting in.  Good luck to those of you on the 2ww.


----------



## Salad4

oops sorry - don't mean that I believe that 45 is old - it's just the way I've been treated in previous clinics (although to be fair they have been good at the Lister).


----------



## LellyLupin

I am 45 too Salad and I definitely do feel old today    Good luck


----------



## LellyLupin

OOoo found my HRT and my Peestick - hmm to test or not to test.........


----------



## memebaby

no my lovely ,,,,,,,,,,,,,step away from the stick. its too early and if you get bfn you will have no way of knowing if it is a real bfn or if you are pregnant and its just too early ......which is a recipe for major upset and depression over the next few days.    its hideous I know but give it a bit longer, go and distract yourself 

Am so thinking of you xxxxx 



and tons of luck for tomorrow to the ladies testing. xxx

Meme


----------



## Moominmum

No no Lesley, eat a biscuit instead


----------



## tigge66

Lesley nearly OTD   for a BFP.   

Tigger


----------



## LellyLupin

Aw ok you win I won't do it   

Hows the bleeding Moomin has it stopped?

Hi Meme how are you feeling?

Thanks Tigs right back at ya


----------



## BabyDreams400

Fififi – when you say linseed, do you mean Flax seeds?  I did take them daily last cycle, but have added so many things this month that I forgot to continue taking them.

Currently, I'm taking …
1 Tbsp honey with Royal Jelly & pinch of cinnamon every morning
8 oz glass of OJ with wheat grass powder every morning
1 Tbsp Raw Bee Pollen pellets every morning
25mg DHEA every other day
Zita West pre-natal vits, booster & DHA daily
Plus Vitamin E 400 & Iron supps daily
(Whew…it's just as tiring writing it as taking it all)  
After my blood results yesterday, my Doctor just added CO Q10 supplements.

What are the bananas for?  I'm also drinking plenty of decaf coffee every day.  Coffee is a big addiction so I thought I was doing great by drinking the decaf stuff!  Sorry about your bleed and praying it's implantation bleeding and not AF. ((hugs))

Urbangirl – Thanks for the motivation.  I was really shocked by such a high number, but my Doctor also said it fluctuates from month to month so we need to wait for a good month to start my cycle.  Will tweak my morning ritual this month and hope it helps (fingers crossed)   

Lesley – you are right about that.  FSH should be below 10 ideally, but mine has been between 11 – 12 last 3 times I tested.  This is the first very high month  

Moonimum – Put down the pee stick!  Definitely too early hun, hang in there a bit longer.  Almost there now.

I don't envy you ladies on the 2ww.  It's such a nail biting time.  I've seen it said a million times … to try and stay calm & relaxes…SO hard to do!  Wishing you all the best during you wait and will keep checking in for your results.  Lots of prayers going out to you all.       

xoxo


----------



## Moominmum

Lesley: no more blood here. But I am soon doing the Crinone gel which is where I found it last time so I am slightly nervous to say the least.

Babydreams: wowzers - that's a long list! No testing until OTD on Friday (how early do they mean then ) - promise!


----------



## Shell42

Hi ladies, I'm new to the site and IVF so hope you don't mind me joining your thread but at almost 43 and surrounded by younger, pregnant friends I need a ray of hope to keep me going. Started DR on 21 Sept 2012 and highest dose of menopur (due to low AMH and anticipated poor response) on 9/10/12. Had scan today and counted 12 follicles at approx 9mm to 11mm. Is that good or bad? What should I be doing now to grow eggs? Next scan this Friday.


----------



## Salad4

Hi Shell
12 follicles sounds good to me - I've been a poor responder and so the maximum I've managed is 3.  So I'd be pleased if I was you.  I'm no expert on what you should do to grow eggs (see my history!!!), but they always tell you to drink lots of water, reduce caffeine & alcohol and I've started trying meditation to relax - I've got two sessions - circle and bloom and kallima fertility - but whatever helps you relax has got to be good.
good luck!
Sally


----------



## Moominmum

Hi Shell and welcome. Sounds like Salad gave you a good answer. I, unfortunately, cannot help as I feel too new to this still. 

Lucky: any news?  

fififi: how are you today?  

AFM, I have had some discharge, not much but still. I am hoping it is just a "side effect" from yesterday but really this is just about what I can cope with.

 to all


----------



## Lucky100

Hi Ladies, it was my OTD today, and its a  !!!!!!!!!!! 

I am shocked, excited, scared and not even sure if I read the bloomin pee stick right, but DH checked as well and we both thought it was a blue cross but you do start to doubt yourself!! That was with the first pee of the day as instructed...obviously I didnt believe that one, so drank loads and did another test an hour later which was negative. Called the clinic and they said that even if you were a couple of months pregnant, if you test on any other pee apart from the first of the day, you can get a negative, so I will try another one tomorrow! Also drinking lots will dilute the pregnancy hormone and give you a negative. My clinic dont do a blood test so I shall keep doing HPT until I am convinced! I have had no symptoms really, sore boobs first few days after ET but that went off, no sickness, tiredness or anything else, apart from AF pains on and off around 8DPT and 9DPT, so it seems even harder to believe 

This is so strange! I dare not believe it to be true and real. 

Thanks for all your good wishes. This is early days, but I want to enjoy this feeling, and hope that everything is ok and will stay that way. Cautiuously optimistic is the best way I can describe myself right now!

Good luck to any other OTDs today and tomorrow (Lesley?) and Moonmin, not forgetting you on Friday! 

Lucky 100


----------



## fififi

wahooo - so pleased for u
Enjoy a day of non stop smiling


----------



## Moominmum

Lucky that is fab news - congratulations!  How exciting. I hope this is the start of many more good news


----------



## amkhan

Moominmum - try this before we start with our Zita West relaxation tapes: 




Listened to it this morning and have my energies up for the rest of the day! For all the rest of you other ladies as well 

Amittai - Thanks!!! I try to keep as active as I can, I have a tendency towards negativity so I love activities that keep my mind healthy and distracted! Hence my "good vibes playlist" every morning!

Lucky - congratulations!!!!! so so so happy for you!!!!   

Urbangirl - thanks for sharing the story, that man is incredible!

Shell - welcome 

To all the rest 

/links


----------



## Moominmum

amkhan: thank you so much!  

Unfortunately I think it is all over for me this time.  I am just waiting for the nurse to call me back (and please call back now).


----------



## beckxx2

Hi Moominmum,

My scan went ok - they say I have 4 follicles growing 2 of which are much bigger than the others so they have put started me on the cetrotide to ensure I don't ovulate....I am back tomorrow for the next scan. Last Friday they only picked up one Folly & I still decided to proceed with the IVF as I just had a gut feeling that I needed to so yesterday I was a bit more relieved that they found 3 more.


hope you are all doing ok... xx


----------



## fififi

Hi all ... am feeling little less stressed today so thought I'd best post whilst feeling this way!!!
Thanks for all the messages of support - really needed them  

AFM - bleed seems to have stopped for now so am cautiously hoping that it was just a blip/mega implantation bleed. Totally petrified each time I go to toilet and having total sofa day today just to be extra careful. Any spare finger crossing/wishing/prayers still appreciated    

lucky - yet more congrats    
Much as you might want reassurance from another HPT I agree with your clinic & also wanted to remind you that HPTs are designed to read negative unless it's certain. Happy grinning!!!

moom - hoping the discharge is just a side effect from crinone   . Having spent much of yesterday in tears I know only too well how upsetting it can be when all is not quite normal.
Did you watch Great British Bake Off? Has it inspired you to do something extra yummy today?

tiggee - hope you're doing okay & 2ww not driven you to madness yet.
I know all of us have had difficult journeys to get here but I wanted to say I really admire your strength. Reading your profile really made me sad as I cannot begin to imagine how heartbreaking it was to only have your lovely E for such a short time. Really, really hope you get the dream you deserve this time    

ajw - hi hon, glad to see you're still popping in. Hope you're doing okay and have made plans for something nice soon  

bannyb - thanks for your support. Not long until you start now - hope you're getting excited!  

superkitty - hi & welcome

lesley - how are things with you & super trio? Hope your dog back to normal today. Thinking of you  

ammittai - hoping you're relaxing bit more now and finding enough to occupy mind during the 2weektorture (ooops 2ww!)  

urbangirl - wow, and I thought I was at the wrong side of 40 to be feeling positive about conceiving and my DH is less than half the man's age!!!  

salad - try to stay positive re follicle growth   . If you scroll back 2 weeks you'll see that after day 7 scan my clinic thought would have to cancel and I had "the talk" with doctor, yet 2 days later (no change to drugs just extra time) there were 3 okay follicles. Was only expecting 3 eggs at EC but got 6!

babydreams - linseed & flaxseed seem to be same thing in UK. I was having 2 tablespoons a day of the ground stuff which is what's recommended for balancing hormone levels.
I was advised bananas are good natural source of vitamin B6 (progesterone levels) as is sweet potato. As for the decaf drinks - I'm finding giving up decaf coffee harder than red wine but when discovered that even decaf coffee has quite bit caffeine still I'm going without for while. Equally it's worth checking decaf tea/coffee to find ones that have been naturally filtered rather than chemically treated. My clinic seem to feel that some caffeine is fine but as I'm on last cycle wanted to give it all I could.
You seem to be well supplemented so guessing it's only time before you have a good month again. Will you clinic keep testing for you?

amkham - hi, liked the uplifting music link   

beck - glad scan went well for you today. I know how releived you must be after such an agonising weekend wait. Keep drinking lots of water, heat pad/bottle on tum when possible and hoping that you'll be at EC very soon  

To anyone I've missed hello & hope you're having a good day x


----------



## Moominmum

fififi: great to hear that your bleeding has stopped.    I am waiting for my AF to come after some bleeding today. Really I know myself. I am going to the clinic tomorrow for a blood test although I feel it pointless. I think I know what is about to come 

I did watch the Great British Bake Off final - how did you know?  I have moved forward to sewing and just finished off a pair of leggings for DS. There are no nice ones for little boys I think so I sourced some fun fabric (clouds, stars and robots) and will make him 3 pairs. I just need him to try the first pair on before I do any more!

I just wanna get this over and done with and talk about options with the doctor. Since I responded well and have left over drugs, maybe we can do something "smaller" next?


----------



## fififi

moom - sorry to see you're bleeding again. Not that I'm best person to say this but try to keep some hope until you know for sure. My sister who has severe endo is now 21 weeks pg and bled on/off quite lot in early pregnancy, even around test date. Will make extra wishes for you too    

Sewing projects - you are good. I had plans to catch up on mending that needed doing & in theory make some cushion covers I'd bought about 6 months ago! Perhaps if can have bleed free day that will be my mission tomorrow. Mind you I've also got to try & see GP as have terrible cough still and it really hurts my tummy when I cough. Not taken anything for it but lemon & honey but it doesn't seem to have improved nearly 2 weeks later. Am guessing GP won't be able to help given current PUPOness but may as well see.


----------



## Moominmum

fififi: thank you for your     I know I am trying to keep some hope but it is hard. For some reason I don't think the bleeding yday and hte bleeding today are linked. Yday I think had all to do with the Crinone as it was only on the top of the applicator. Today it is different. Saying that no "floods" yet but I expect that to come. Will stay on the sofa all day after having picked up DS.


----------



## fififi

moom - try and get some relax time. Hope DS lets you lounge about yet provides a good distraction to the worry. Take care of you & allow yourself to keep hoping


----------



## Sushi Lover

Hello ladies,

Is there room on your thread for other 40+ IVF'er ?!  I'm in my 2 week wait and as you all know, it's agonising!

I'm not due to test until next Wednesday the 24th Oct (14 days past transfer)...  Is there any point in testing earlier?  Or should I hold out and wait?

xxx


----------



## Lucky100

Moominmum ,
Sorry to hear that the bleed has come again today. Hope the nurse calls you back soon. Sending lots of love and prayers your way   

Fifi, thanks again! Also I didn't know that about HPT so that's good to know.  Glad you are having a less stressful day today, long may ït continue. When is your OTD?

Tiggee, sending you positive vibes  

Hi salad, nice to have you join us!

I too watched the greàt British bake off and was so shocked that John won! I thought Brendan was the sure fire winner!

Sticky vibes to all the 2ww ladies!  

Lucky100


----------



## bannyb

So sorry to hear you've had more bleeding Moominmum, i know how worried you must be but try to stay positive and keep resting, it might just be some pesky early pregnancy bleeding.  a lot for you  

Fififi, hope you feel better soon, pleased to read you bleeding has stopped. Sending  and  your way. Sewing would be a good thing to take your mind off things. I've just started a sewing course to learn to use a sewing machine and it's great! (The course that is, not my sewing!  ) Yes, I'm getting very excited about starting ivf, I feel very relaxed and positive about this round so really hope I can keep my head where it is!

Beck, great news you have some more follies! Well done with sticking with this round. Fingers crossed for you.

Amkhan, hi and thanks for the link, shall enjoy it!

Woohoo Lucky! Only just scrolled down and seen your news!! Great big fat congrats! You are more likely to get a false negative than a false positive and agree that diluted urine at this early stage won't show a positive, so if you got a positive first thing then it's a BFP!!! Whoop! Woop! This calls for some dancing bananas!      

LL.. KEEP AWAY FROM THE PEE STICK! Definitely too early!

Hi Shell, Salad, Superkitty, Babydreams, Amittai, And UG. Hope you're all doing ok. 

Hope I haven't issued anyone.

AFM I have been well and truly pampered today at a spa all morning followed by sandwiches and cream tea, this is the life!


----------



## bannyb

Hi kristylovessushi..and so do I by the way! You must have posted whilst I was writing my last post, welcome and keep away from the pee stick! If you get a negative it'll be all doom and gloom for the rest of the wait and it iChat not be an accurate result. HOld out if you can. Good luck


----------



## Sushi Lover

Thanks for the reply bannyb!  Sushi is yet another thing I love that I'm now afraid to eat...  add it to the list of no's with coffee, wine, artifical sweetners, canned tuna...  you get the idea  

Another week to go then...  I'll try and hold out!


----------



## Moominmum

Thanks everyone for the positive thoughts! I have had no more bleeding since so I am going crazy. But spoke to nurse and I am going in tomorrow for a blood test to get this agony out of the way. DS and I are home now and we have one sofa each. We are watching telly. Sorry for all the self pity - will be back to normal soon!


----------



## SuperKitty

Fififi – so glad to hear the bleeding has stopped, that must be a relief.

Urbangirl – thanks for that link, made me lol  

Lesleylupin – how is your little dog?

Babydreams400 – wow, that’s a comprehensive supplement regime!  I was feeling hard-done by at having to take activated folate (and then aspirin and calcium supplements later on in the process) on top of my normal prenatal vitamins and omega 3’s.  I LOVE my coffee, but I tried drinking decaff and it’s just not the same, so I’m on the decaff tea and (blargh) herbal teas until I can have proper caffeine again   

Moominmum – this must be a worrying time for you, am thinking of you.  At least you will know tomorrow.  I so hope it’s good news for you.  If it helps, I got told by the nurses at my last clinic that Crinone irritates the cervix so can sometimes cause some bleeding?  

Amkham – thanks for that link, will use it as well as my Zita cd!

Beckxx2 – great news on the follies!

Lucky100 – all I can say is YAY!

Bannyb – a spa and a cream tea…lovely!  A spa-and-cream-tea session is good for the soul.  I was a bit gutted this week as I had to cancel a spa session I had booked for November (me and my friend go once every couple of months and have a cream tea as well, great minds think alike!) because it might clash with scans or whatever.  

AFM, we exchanged contracts on our new house yesterday, which is exciting.  (and scary!)  And I had a bit of a horrid moment with a blunt needle last night – I couldn’t get it in, so had to discard the whole thing (and a whole dose of suprecur in it, because I couldn’t figure out how to transfer it to a new needle) and do a new one (which went in perfectly).  No fun, waaaa   Not enjoying these injections at all, I liked my nice synarel nasal spray.  

Salad4 & kirstylovessushi – welcome!  I only joined this week, we can be newbies together

Hello mememebaby, Tigge66, Shell42, Amittai and anyone else that I’ve missed.  Hope everyone is having a good evening.


----------



## LellyLupin

Lucky           thats fantastic news congratulations !!!!   

Hello Superkitty, just been to vets again with my little pup, now armed with new food, mouthwash and doggy toothpaste   Congrats on the new house - how exciting I love moving house  


Moomin very good luck for tomorrow chick, try and have a good sleep tonight and don't be fretting  

Bannyb get you spa-ing it and having cream teas - oh how I would love that life - sigh xx

Hi Kirsty I love sushi too   xx  Wait for your official OTD date and you won't get any false results, you will only worry if you don't get the answer you want if you test too early xx

Fifi glad your bleeding has stopped you must be so relieved   xx

Becks good news with your scan xx

Hello everyone else hope you are all doing ok.

AFM lots of pains today and slightly queasy still.  I feel very AFy so am not hopeful for Sunday.  Have been planning my life sans children today and being alternately upset and excited about the future.  Hormones huh


----------



## tigge66

Hi All 

Fififi thank you for your lovely post early it bought tears to my eyes. It is still hard   but we did have so much joy especially as E so nearly m/c, over 75% risk at 16 weeks, we know she had problems but wanted to give her a chance to be a person and she was certainly a little character and left a great big impression on all who met her.   for it being implantation for you and sounds positive that it is settling.

Moominmum I hope the bleeding settles   for tomorrow. 

Bannyb Lovely to have a treat I love afternoon tea and a spa.

Lucky   on your BFP. I am so pleased for you.

Lesley  for you. 

Kirstlovessushi welcome to the thread. 

AFM thank you to everyone who have sent  . Bit of increased abdo pain. 8dp 3dt. OTD getting closer, so want that BFP.

Tigger


----------



## Sushi Lover

Thanks for all the lovely 'welcome' messages.  Made me feel quite emotional how kind everyone is!  Or maybe it's all the horrible synthetic hormones making me feel that way....

So everyone thinks I should wait for my OTD.  I know you are all right, but it's so difficult!

Another 6 days to go....  Sigh...  Anyone else waiting for their testing day?  x


----------



## fififi

Moom - Thinking of you today


----------



## BabyDreams400

Fififi - thanks for the info    I'm worried I'm over-supplemented and maybe that's why my blood tests were so crazy this time.  Only time will tell.  

Superkitty - My coffee is my lifeline    I have 1/2 cup caffiene each morning and about 3 cups decaf throughout the rest of the day.  I go overboard, I know.  Just need to find a beneficial hot drink that I like and then I'll be able to substitute some of the decafs.  So exciting about your new house!  We will be moving to our new house in about another month (still doing some finishing work). Super excited about it.  It will put us only 15 minutes from our jobs (now we are 90 mins away!).  Not lookin forward to the packing & unpacking though  

Lucky - Such fantastic news!           have you tested again today?  I know I would probably test daily!   

Kristylovessushi - I'll second the loving sushi!  mmmm, so yummy!  6 more sleeps for you, hang in there and good luck! 

Tigger - Sending sticky vibes your way...hope you get that BFP this time, you truly deserve it.  Read your profile and my heart was breaking for you.  Blew you bubbles for luck 

Moonimum - How did you make out today?   for you.

Beck - Great news about your follies.  Good luck at EC.

LL -  Bring back that PMA!  You know that AF pains are that same as implantation & symptoms from the meds!  Its not over till it's over    

Nothing new to report for me.  Just checking in on everybody.  Hope everyone is have a great day!


----------



## fififi

Hi all ... going bit loopy today. Am still struggling with chest infection and cough that is unbearable & makes me sound more sealion than human! Saw GP today & he doesn't want to give me antibiotics in case it causes issues with embies - I just wish there was something I could take to help. Ironically this is the first time I'd confessed to work I would need week off due to IVF & now been signed off with infection anyway! Thankfully not bled anymore since Tuesday so slightly more hopeful that at least 1 embie could be still okay. Though each toilet visit still worries me. No positive symptoms though so it's going to be long wait until 24th. (Trying to remind myself that last positive cycle I had no symptoms either except sense that AF coming & was so sad night before OTD as convinced it was a no.)

babydreams - hormone levels vary so much depending on so many factors. It's so hard when you are at point in which you need them to show the results you want but you've just got to leave it a little up to fate and when it's "time" you will get to the next stage  
Good news about your new house too - just your new commute will help your stress levels ... and potentially hormone ones. I quite like packing as it means a good clear out and you get to live junk free for several months!!!!

kirstylovessushi - hi, your OTD is same as mine - lets hope it'll be squeals all round    

tiggee - you were definitely blessed to have had E and she certainly couldn't have wished for a better family   
Not long to go now with your 2ww so hope these last few days aren't too stressful for you. Are you doing anything nice at weekend to distract your mind? Thinking of you    

lucky - AF pains bizarrely are often a very good sign, think it's cos we're so obsessed with any feelings our body has that the only thing we pick up on is the one sign that scares us. Keep positive hun, not long to go    
ps. think idea of making positive plans for alternative outcome is good one but hope you've also made plans on what chaos you're going to be living in once all 3 lupins arrive!!!!  

superkitty - ooohhhh new house, how exciting. Just as well you got the mega scary part out of way before getting fully into your cycle. Hope injections go better today   

bannyb - spa & cream tea sounds lovely, liking your pre cycle chill activities  

lucky - hope you've been able to do any work in between your crazy BFP grinning  

moom - any news yet? Crossing everything it's all okay   

everyone else I've missed - hope you're having good day


----------



## beckxx2

I had my 3rd scan today........they had problems finding my right ovary (it likes to hide!!) but now have 5 follies and growing nicely -at the moment it looks like EC will be Monday but before that I have to go back on Sat for one more scan & they have also said they may need to do a blood test that day to see how close to ovulation my hormones are (!?) 

Hope you are all well and having a good day xx


----------



## Chandlerino

Hello ladies

Had a scan today after stimming for 4 days - only 2 follies on left and 2 tiny ones on my right so bit disappointed.

Lady doing scan thought she could see a polyp so having another scan on Monday at REprofit - if its still there hey any embryos will have to be frozen and transferred at a later date once the polyp has been removed. Very down in the dumps tbh but trying to be positive a scan woman said it could be leftover lining [lets hope it is] - don't think I can handle anymore disappointment!

Has anyone had a polyp and had treatment stopped?


----------



## hopeful68

Chandlerino - a lady on another thread is having a poly removed next week. they got the eggs and froze them then obviously delayed ET. think positively that the bread allows your body to recover from the energy put into EC so you are ready to have the embies back and nurture them!  and it may not be a polyp any how, so try not to worry until you know for sure!

Fifi - try steam inhalation to help clear the chest and simple honey/lemon drinks for the throat.


----------



## Moominmum

Hi All,

Sorry for not personalising my message. Unfortunately not good news after the blood test today. But feels like a relief to know so that I can move forward. I will therefore leave this thread but will have a peak every now and then to see how you all are doing. Hoping for many BFPs!

We are lucky to have DS who have been very cuddly today. And I decided to order a pizza for comfort food! Already feeling a little bit better 

Now, what is the best thread for how to improve my chances? How quickly does AMH decline? Hmm Babydreams, I think I need to get the stuff on your list, but what's doing what?  

Big   to all and lots of   and  

Moominmum


----------



## Lucky100

Hi everyone hope you are all doing well  

Moominmum how did you get on today? Praying for you and sending positive vibes your way   

Lesley, thanks for my dancing bananas! I had AF pains too...still do a bit. Wishing you so much luck for Sunday  . Will be waiting to hear your news!

Chandlerino, sorry to hear about your scan, hope all is well on Monday  

Beck, I all ad an ovary that liked to hide, but sounds like you are doing well  

Fifi, sorry to hear about your chest infection  hope you feel better soon. The 24th will be here before you know it!

Tigge, how you doing? Not long now! Sending lots of love your way  

Babydreams, thanks for your good wishes! Hope you are ok  

Kirsty, hang on in there  

Banny, your spa day sounds fab 

Hi to all you other lovely ladies! 

AFM, did another test this morning which was positive  hoping and praying all goes well. Scan in 3 weeks and 3 days time!

Lucky100


----------



## Lucky100

Moominmum, our messages have crossed over. So sorry   wishing you so much love and luck in this journey 

Lucky100


----------



## fififi

moom - so sorry and think you're sounding very brave. Yes you are lucky to have DS but that doesn't stop the hurt right now. Take time to be sad & annoyed with the world. Then move forward knowing that you are already a fab mum & there's lots of possibilities that you'll be a double one sometime soon  ^hugme


----------



## bannyb

Oh Moominmum I'm so sorry    Big   to you. This is such a hard journey at times, I really do hope that you get your dream one day very soon. Enjoy those special cuddles from DS


----------



## Mish3434

Moominmum, Sorry to hear your news    take care hun xx


----------



## Salad4

Moominmum I'm sorry to hear about your news.  It isn't fair - if only all of our good wishes and thoughts could affect the outcome...  
Sallyx


----------



## LellyLupin

Moomin I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better, so I will just say, take care chick    I have really enjoyed talking to you on here, you are a very sweet person and have cheered me up when I have been feeling down.  I hope you get your dream of a sibling for your DS and I am 100 % sure you will xxx


----------



## Amittai

Moominmum - really really sad to hear your news, you come across so strong and positive even though i can imagine what you must be feeling. you are amazing and sending lots and lots of   for you to continue your journey when you feel ready. I hope we see you back here soon soon.  





Lucky100 - awesome awesome news chick!! yay is what i say!


----------



## BabyDreams400

Moom - I'm so sorry about your news.  It's great you can take comfort by snuggling with your DS though...see, you are already blessed sweetie.  More blessing will come your way soon so keep positive and take your time passing through this emotional period.  Lots of hugs to help easy the sadness         

Also, I will review the benefits of each thing I'm taking and send you a PM soon.  Honestly, I can't remember for the life of me what half of the stuff is for


----------



## tigge66

Hi All

Moominimum so sorry to heard your news. Sending you a big  , take care of yourself.  for you onward journey may it be your time soon. Enjoy your cuddles with your DS. 

Fififi hope you feel better soon, lots of hot lemon and rest needed. Thank you for your lovely comments we were such proud parents.

Lucky I hope the 3weeks flies until scan day. Relax and enjoy your BFP.

AFM AF type pain for hour or so today, then settled. Thank you all for your great support during this roller coaster ride. 

Tigger.


----------



## Moominmum

Tigge, Lucky, fififi, babydreams, Amittai, Lesley, Salad, Mish, bannyb: thank you so very much for your kind and comforting words. Made me cry (good cry) to feel such support from "strangers". 

Que sera, sera. It just wasn't our time this time. But I am now gearing up for some natural cycles whilst thinking about next steps.  

You are all such inspirations and I wish for many more BFPs.


----------



## urbangirl

Moominmum, it's just such bad luck  
Good luck with your natural cycles, that sounds like a good plan.


----------



## SuperKitty

So sorry moominmum.  Nothing to say that will help, but I'm really sorry.  Onward and upward


----------



## Sushi Lover

Sorry to hear your sad news Moominmum.  It's horrible when you gear yourself for the big step of your first IVF and then it doesn't succeed.  I truly know exactly how you feel.  Don't give up.  Get yourself all healthy and relaxed ready for your next try.  In the meantime, enjoy trying naturally!!  I've heard lots of cases when women go on to achieve a natural pregnancy in the following month or months after IVF or ICSI.  Have you tried some acupuncture?  I found it's really helped my stress levels, circulation, hormone imbalances and hopefully egg quality.

Thinking of you and take care, Kirsty xx


----------



## Moominmum

UG, Kitty & Kirsty: thank you so much for your support.  

I find all the kind words from this thread overwhelming. I didn't expect this from the beginning. 

Babydreams: I've ordered Royal Jelly and CoQ10 to start with. Keep  me posted 

Oh and btw, if anyone wants recipe for Scandi pastries or instructions on how to make kid's leggings and hats, I'm your woman


----------



## fififi

moominmum - we might not be physically near you but when reading your news it makes all of us feel really sad. This journey is one of so many uncertainties and knowing that someone is suffering such pain and heartbreak is horrible    

Not sure I'd be any good at making kids leggings and have eaten way too much comfort food already this month but perhaps you have stumbled across your new business venture?! Take some photos of the leggings and advertise your services on somewhere like your local netmums website.
Really hoping you have a happy, positive future and make sure you update us when you get your natural miracle    
Take care x


----------



## LellyLupin

Moomin I'm afraid my sewing and cooking skills leave a lot to be desired, although I am tackling a spagetti bolognaise tonight  

We are just giving back some of the support you gave us, and of course your journey is our journey as we are all on the same bus.  We all understand the pain and stress and also the joy that can come out of the process.  Keep us posted on how you are doing. xx


----------



## Sushi Lover

Tigge66, Fififi, Amittai, Lesleylupin...  are we all waiting for our OTD?  Anyone else I've missed in the same boat? Salad4, SuperKitty... what stage are you ladies at?

Any major symptoms to speak of?  I'm not really having any apart from the odd twinge/bloating and feeling overly warm (usually a chilly mortal) and tired in the afternoons.

I'm wondering if I should be feeling something else?  Are you girls experiencing any major symptoms yet?

Isn't it frustating not knowing what is going on in there!

K x


----------



## Salad4

Hi Kirsty, all,

I'm in the middle of the longest cycle in the history of assisted conception and it has been a roller coaster so far.  I am now on day 15 (so tonight will be my 14th lot of injections - I feel like a tender pin cushion).  For the first 6 days I was on 300IU of Fostimon and nothing happened.  Day 6 scan showed 2 follicles about 4mm each and lining of approx 3mm.  Oestrogen was off the bottom of the chart at less than 55.  Day 8 scan wasn't much better and so they upped the dose to 450iu Fostimon and then on to 450iu of Menopur the next day.  Day 10 scan was 4mm lining and 3 follicles all less than 10mm.  And as the nurse tactfully said to me "it's not a good sign".  So then back yesterday (day 14) for another scan and miraculo, lining thicker, 3 follicles 13mm; 11mm and 10mm.  So better.  But then the telephone call about blood tests takes us back down the roller coaster as my progesterone is too high - 9.1 (compared to 6.3 on day 6) and also my LH is too high - 12.6 (compared to 18 on day 5).  But they've said to continue with Menopur and cetrotide until Monday's scan and they'll test my bloods again and see what it looks like.  Part of me is hoping that I'll be the miracle lucky one with the "I can't believe that cycle worked", but part of me is thinking if it's going to fail, can't we just get it over with.  
On the bright side, I am now much more blase about the injections (I still hate them, but I fret less) - little air bubbles do your worst, I'm not frightened of you!!!!
Sorry for all of that, but you did ask. 
Hope others are doing well
Sally


----------



## fififi

salad - you really are on roller coaster ride this cycle   . Keep hanging on in there and hopefully as so much has gone wrong so far you've used up all the bad luck and now will just be entitled to mega happiness    
Hope the weekend isn't too long for you x

kirsty - this 2ww is truly horrible as at my end seems more like 2 year wait. I've no symptoms whatsoever despite desperately trying to discover some!!! Fortunately having looked at my previous cycle when I did get BFP I had nothing then either so at least that's a bit reassuring. Realistically it would be quite unusual to get symptoms so soon as the embryo(s) all less than 2 weeks old so not at a point to have much of an impact. Tiredness is good though    

tiggee - AF type pains are good signs so here's hoping    

chandlerino - hoping you get better news at your scan on Monday. So hard to stay positive when things appear to be going wrong but you're not out the running yet and lots could change    

everyone else - sorry for lack of personals but have lots to do and since I'm avoiding anything involving lifting/carrying etc. it's taking me way too long. Hope you all have good day   

AFM: Been drinking lots of warm lemon & honey to try and help chest. (Hopeful - I've not tried steam yet but may well have try later on)
Hoping my lack of positivity is bit to do with chest infection as just feel miserable. Need to try and think of something nice to do over weekend to distract my worrying mind.


----------



## Sushi Lover

Thanks for your update Sally.  Goodness, you are going through the mill.  You do get used to the injections and the air bubbles don't seem like a big deal at all after a while.  It's all the mixing/syringing/changing needles business that's time-consuming.  Plus trying to break the tops of the little water vials without breaking it and getting shards of glass in your fingers and thumbs!  My hubby messes it up all time (too heavy-handed)..  they'd be blood everywhere and he'd be yelping in pain...  wimp!  I do it all now.  So much less stress.  

Anyway, sorry, off at a tangent there...  so you a little slower in responding, but hey, doesn't mean you won't get that one precious, good quality egg at the end of it.  I know it's an awful cliche, but you only need the one.  Some girls need to inject for 10 days, some for 20..  we are all different.  The good sign is that they are letting you continue, so must think it's worth it?!  If your doctor thought it was a dead-end he/she would have cancelled by now.  My first cycle was cancelled due to poor repsonse on about day 9 of stims.  Don't give up hope...your lining is getting thicker and the folicles are growing.  That's got to be a good thing!

What was your oestrogen level?  Has that picked up now?  I think that's more important at this stage

Kirsty x


----------



## goldbunny

<waves good morning to the over 40's 2wwers> i'm 4dp3dt with 2 grade 2 embies on board (own eggs) aged 42... no symptoms except feel dozy from progesterone and AF painy.. pacing back and forth... going crazy!


----------



## Sushi Lover

Fififi....  I know what you mean about desperately trying to discover symptoms!  I keep thinking I can spot new veins in  my boobs that weren't there before!!  Bonkers.  You are right though...  realistically it's unusual to feel anything this early.

Goldbunny.... Great you had two embryos put back in!  You must be pleased.  Are you back at work to take your mind off things?  

Keep thinking positive thoughts everyone and get lots of rest at the weekend  xx


----------



## goldbunny

pleased? you have no idea. well maybe you do. utter shock and amazement - we even got to freeze 3 which is something after last time's cycle i thought we'd never manage. egg quality CAN improve, no matter what doom and gloom your consultant throws at you.


----------



## Sushi Lover

hahaha, I have a sneaky idea.  How fabulous you had three to freeze as well.  I'd give my right arm for that!  Last time I had three transferred back and was ecstatic!  Unfortunately it was a BFN. This time only the one was good enough, but still holding onto some hope.

What have you done to improve your egg quality?  That's all my doctor harps on about...  my poor egg quality.  It's so depressing.

K x


----------



## goldbunny

well the thing is i can list 'what's different this time' but there's nothing to prove any of it made a difference. maybe something in the way the lab handled them made a difference, something like that, that was beyond my control. but we didn't change the drugs i had, although i may have used them for differing amounts of time, and i had some higher doses of buserelin this time around. but almost everything else was the same, same place, protocol etc. different anaesthetist and this time i was sick after e/c but i can't imagine that was the thing that made a difference! 


this time around i
ate some dark chocolate with ginger in when i fancied it, during stimming. last time i gave up choc completely after d/r.
during stimming -ate a lot of bananas! up to three a day sometimes. 
during stimming -ate a lot of kiwi fruit!! 2 a day an hour before bedtime, i heard on tv it helps you sleep. 
upped my use of 'relaxation videos' at bedtime, watched loads! 
as a result of the kiwi fruit and videos, and use of a sleep mask sometimes, got more sleep. I have a serious theory that sleep quality/quantity is a key factor but i can't prove it. 
ate a really healthy diet, lots of fish, not much meat and the meat i did have was good quality. lots of milk and water and no snacking except on fruit. 
no alcohol (i hardly do anyway) but also, DH had no alcohol this time around either (he says, though i didn't watch him 24/7) 
pregnacare vitamins daily and dh wellman vits - think since i had been taking them daily since the beginning of the last cycle, i probably improved my overall vitamin levels.
tried to keep moving some of the time and not be too sluggish. 
i was also more relaxed this time during some of it, on account of having more idea what to expect. 
i also produced fewer follicles, and i still think perhaps that trying to produce too many affects quality. 
but honestly there wasn't some magic bullet that i did differently, unless i'm right about the sleep thing.


----------



## de_vi

hello ladies,

a long time no see! I was on here back in May/June, during our first ICSI cycle (BFN), and remember the companionship of Lesleylupin, memebaby, ajw, AngeInParis, TammyWynet, wfam Queen-Bee, Urbangirl and Chandlerino, of course (sorry if I missed anybody...). It's nice to see some names back here although of course that means you are also still "on that bus".... so a "hello again" with mixed feelings.

and hello to everybody who is currently here, I have been reading up over the past days and am crossing all fingers for you, Birdiepie, Amittai, tigge66, beckxx2, hopeful, bannyb, fififi, amkhan, Lesley, Chandlerino, kirstylovessushi, goldbunny! (lucky: congratulations!!)

and Moomin, so sorry about your news! and wanted to say the same to ajw, even though now some more time has passed. But that is what triggered my post today. After the first BFN-cycle we did a second one at the same clinic (our town, convenience - how stupid!) in July, and even though we did have slightly more eggs than in the first cycle (5 as opposed to 4) - no fertilisation happened!! (and it was ICSI, not "simple" IVF!) we were devastated, also because you don't expect that, right - its supposed to be better the second time round! So I really feel with you, ajw - have been there before and its the last thing you expect.... at least at the end you know that it can be BFN or BFP but you dont expect to be stopped right in the middle of a cycle.... (we didn't, at least).

After reading up about it, and seen the 1st cycle as well where we only had 1 embryo, I put together my own list of supplements, partly after recommendations from FF, partly from a list of somebody from a Canadian clinic (its their "standard list" for poor responders and suspected poor oocyte quality):

- DHEA 75 mg
- Co-Q10 600 mg (300 morning/300 evening) - they are expensive but cheapest I found on iherb.com
- Melatonin 3 mg (see this article about research on its egg-quality-improving-influence http://www.bionews.org.uk/page_70654.asp ), 30 mins before going to sleep

on top of the usual other supplements like Vitabiotics Pregnacare, Vitamin D 2000 mg a day (helps with immun system tolerance), Essential Fatty Acids and DHA - I think that is all.

And, believe it or not, we have just come back from embryo transfer at our (new) clinic - 3 embryos onboard right now (we only had 6 eggs, so I am definitely a "poor responder" still - but 3 fertilised via ICSI, and really well, the lab said. 8, 7 and 6 cells) - new clinic is in Germany (its close to where we live), where max. number to be put back is 3, lucky for us.

And DP almost quit smoking, definitely drastically reduced it - that might have had an impact as well.

When I asked the new doctor about the supplements, he agreed with the 75 mg DHEA but had not heard of the CoQ10 or the melatonin and so did not have an opinion. I just thought: well, it can't do any harm - things can only get better, from where we were in July....

  to all!! de_vi

/links


----------



## goldbunny

see that melatonin thing, that's the thing about the kiwi fruit idea, i think. god i'd make a useless scientist i'm so vague.


----------



## goldbunny

http://www.livestrong.com/article/261416-serotonin-rich-foods/

/links


----------



## fififi

Now spotting so despite almost managing to convince myself the bleed on Tuesday was possibly late, extra heavy implantation I've no hope left now. Feel like someone has just punched me & ran off laughing. Cannot believe how sad I feel already.

Know you've all got lots of worries too but please say some extra prayers/wishes for me cos really need some help right now


----------



## Sushi Lover

Oh fififi no.... you poor thing.  Try not to panic.  It's only spotting and some women bleed throughout their entire pregnancies.  It could be that the embryo is burrowing in farther?  Don't lose hope until you test and know for definite.

Also, you had two blasts transferred didn't you?  So it could well be that one hasn't made it (hence the bleed), but the other is still hanging on in there.

Make sure you rest ALL weekend.

My prayers are with you.

xxx


----------



## goldbunny

((((((((fififi)))))))


----------



## SuperKitty

Lesleylupin – glad to hear your little dog is doing better.  I hate it when anything is wrong with any of my pets (3 hens and 2 cats), they’re such a worry!

Tigge66 and Kirstylovessushi and Goldbunny – not long to go now, counting down with you to the OTD!  Fingers are crossed…  I’m still just at the DR stage (only been DR since 12/10 so a lot earlier than you guys..a long way to go yet!)

Goldbunny – really interesting about sleep quality, I do think it has a massive impact.  But so hard to sleep soundly during all this!

Babydreams400 – we can be miserable about not enough caffeine together….and hope your move goes well!! Like others have said, a shorter commute will minimise stress and that can only be a good thing.  We won’t be in till the new year I think, we complete next week but want to do a fair amount before we move in, like you.

Chandlerino – no experience of polyps but hope your scan on Monday sheds a bit more light for you.

Lucky100 – I don’t have access to dancing bananas, but I’m doing the dance at my desk for you 

Moominmum – how are you doing today?  Hope you’re feeling a little better.  You sound very positive.  And I think we need pics of the leggings  

Salad4, sounds like you’re on a bit of a journey…none of this is easy, is it?  Positive vibes to you for some clarity soon.

De_vi – hellooo, that's really interesting about the supplements – when did you start taking them?  I’m practically rattling with all the supplements at the moment, but I’m only on day 7 of DR so wondering if it’s too late to add in at least the DHEA..?

Fififi (btw, how is your cough?  Hope it’s not making you too miserable) please stay positive, Kirsty has said, some people bleed throughout pregnancy, it might mean nothing.  Stay cosy and warm and as relaxed as you can be over the weekend, am sending lots of good luck thoughts your way.   

AFM, I managed to get myself to a class at the gym this morning with my friend, so am feeling a bit better…and I had a really busy day at work, so wasn’t obsessing too much about my cycle today.  I had a nice chat to the nurses at CARE as well (they are SO much friendlier than at my last clinic!) so am feeling quite calm about everything.  And no more duff needles, yay! Getting used to the routine of injecting now – and definitely not frightened of the air bubbles any more.  

Hello BannyB, Mish3434, Beckxx2, Amkham, Urbangirl, Amittai, Hopeful68, mememebaby, Tigge66, Shell42, Amittai and anyone else that I’ve missed.  Hope everyone has a good evening and is staying warm and dry!


----------



## Lucky100

Fifi, am praying for you tonight hon, hang in there, it really could be fine, we are all rooting for you. Please don't give up hope, keep fighting      you are not alone x x

Lucky100


----------



## Moominmum

fififi: i am holding your hand     

AFM, I still check the thread, I just don't have anything (useful) to add.
Thank you so much for all kind words today as well, Kitty, de_vi etc. I am amazed by the support and am so grateful.


----------



## fififi

Thanks everyone  - knowing someone else out there understands & is thinking of me really helps.


----------



## tigge66

Hi All

Fififi think of you and still   for a miracle. Hove you tested, I know you OTD isn't until 24th but my clinic still tests on OTD even if you are bleeding.

Moominmum hope you are taking care of yourself.

Tigger


----------



## bannyb

Have blown you some lucky bubbles fififi,  hoping and    for you. I know nothing I say will help but I'm sitting here thinking about you


----------



## Salad4

Fiffi - if I knew how to blow lucky bubbles (they sound so sweet), I would do, but they might end up sounding like a raspberry!  So instead I'll send you positive thoughts.  I'm just going to put it out of my mind this weekend and see what Monday brings.  Ironing and meditation today!  And thank you for your positive comments to me - it is so appreciated when you've got enough of your own to worry about.
Superkitty - exercise is so good for taking your mind off things. I haven't managed to get to yoga for the last few weeks and I'm feeling it.
DeVi - I'm also taking the DHEA and the CoQ10 - the consultant at the Lister recommended them.  I might have a look at the melatonin too.  I work on the basis that they'll do me good even if they don't make my eggs into "superova". 
Goldbunny - congrats and I think you're right about getting sleep - it's got to help.
Kirstylovesushi - thanks for the response.  My oestrogen levels have got better - they are good now - 1700 or something - I can't remember.  I wish that I understand more about the science.  Mind you it is a lottery and I suspect that the consultants don't completely understand all the science of conception themselves!!
That's all I can see and my memory is terrible (it'd be lovely to blame it on the drugs, but it's a permanent state), so positive thoughts (& a few bubbles) to everyone.
Sallyx


----------



## goldbunny

salad click under their name, where it says 'click to blow'


----------



## fififi

Thanks again ladies for messages of support and bubbles - both are helping me cope a little better

Sadly last night bleed got heavier and today more of the same so I'd say it's pretty definitely AF now. Did HPT this morning just in case there was still some light at end of very dark tunnel but sadly no. I'm 9dp5dt so in theory would show by now and there wasn't even a hint of a line   
Clinic advised I continue with pessaries etc until OTD so for now I am but not sure I'll make it as far as Weds as it's bit too much salt on sore wounds right now. Am feeling very sorry for myself and just want to curl up and hibernate now. Although you enter into every cycle knowing it's a small chance you have I kinda thought that having got a BFP in Feb it would happen again only this time I was actually going to get the baby(ies). Another very hard knock and one that this time marks the end as we can't continue living our lives in this way and actually having any hope of me & DH staying together. Aside from our one fantastic blip of joy we've spent most of the last 9 years TTC and placing restrictions on everything we do, eat, drink; not to mention financial stresses.

Will continue to read/pop in as now need to see my fellow cyclers get some joy. I might not have made it but some more of you definitely will and that news will give me more of a boost than anything else can right now.

lesley, tiggee, ammitai, kirstylovessushi - go make next week BFP week    
everyone else - hope your cycles come together and you too make it a bumper crop of positives


----------



## LellyLupin

Hi Fifi I am so very sorry I don't know what to say to comfort you.  I was so hoping when your bleeding stopped that it was a good sign.         Its my last go too as I can't keep putting myself through this trauma so I know how devastated you must be, I am truly heartbroken for you  

De-vi  Hi honey so nice to see you back on here and trying again.  Lots of       and     coming your way.xx

Hi Gold Bunny  wow you got frosties thats amazing well done girl xx

Superkitty back at vets this morning more medicine for my poor pup, shes not having a very happy time lately.  3 hens and 2 cats is a very strange combination of pets to have  

Hello everyone else hope you are all ok  

AFM OTD is tomorrow and I am terrified  .  I nearly tested today but wimped out at the last minute. I just can't seem to get my head in the right place and feel brave enough to face the test.  I haven't had any bleeding but I am having AF pains, I am 16dpt.  I don't think it helped going to see my 18 weeks pregnant friend yesterday, but it was her birthday so I couldn't get out of it.  I seem to have suffered more mentally this round of ivf as I have battled my emotions so much especially on a morning and evening, and because I know its my last shot at it.  Anyway girls wish me luck and I will let you know first thing in the morning either way.  Good luck to you all I hope you get your little miracles, you all deserve them so much xxxx


----------



## Sushi Lover

Sorry to hear the bleeding has got worse fififi..... I know exactly how you feel as I'm spotting today as well :-( Feeling very low and sad.  This is such a roller-coaster of ups and downs.  Trying to stay positive, but it feels like the end of this cycle. AF pains steadily increasing throughout the day. Sigh.

Lesleylupin... Best of luck for tomorrow!  Please let one of us get a BFP!

K xx


----------



## Lucky100

Fifi, so, so sorry. Truly was hoping for the absolute best for you.   I totally understand what you say about what a toll it takes on you relationship as well as everything else. Sending you love and support 

Lesley bet of luck or tomorrow     one prayer there for each of your embies! I will check in tomorrow to see you result. Hope you get some sleep tonight! 

To ll the other OTD ladies, thinking of you all  

Lucky100


----------



## bannyb

So sad to read your post Fififi, big  We are also on our last round for all the same reasons, so I know where you are coming from and my heart goes out to you, it really does take its toll in every direction doesn't it  
Kirstylovessushi, hang in there, it may not all be over,  to you and  it's an early pregnancy spotting

Lesley I have got absolutely everything crossed for you for tomorrow, sending lots and lots of  Getting no signs can be a good thing, everyone is different, so here's hoping for a BFP   

DeVi hi! I've recently been told about DHEA from someone else, do you think it's too late to start it? I don't know much about it. I'm taking lots of other supplements and thinking maybe I should have been taking this too now?

Chandlerino, I'm sorry, I don't have experience of polyps either, really hope the scan brings better news on Monday

Hi Superkitty, Goldbunny, Salad, Lucky, Babydreams, Tigge hope you're all having a good wkend  to you all and to anyone else I have missed


----------



## LellyLupin

Thanks bannyb I appreciate it, hope I don't let you all down


----------



## fififi

Kirsty - sorry you are now being tortured too   - hope tomorrow brings better news for you and hope back again   

Lesley - will be thinking of you tonight and tomorrow. You've made it so far and should be proud of yourself for that especially with all the upset you had after ET. It'll be scary testing as this is something you've been thinking about for so long.  Really hoping you get the good news you deserve


----------



## LellyLupin

Thanks Fifi I appreciate your good wishes.  I don't know whats wrong with me I am normally so brave, I just seem to be scared to know this time.  Hope you are feeling a bit better sweetie.  

Good luck Kirsty  I hope your spotting has stopped xx


----------



## Moominmum

fififi: so sorry, what can I say. I still   for you.

Kirsty: I'm   that all is better now. 

Lesley: fingers crossed for tomorrow!      


  to everyone.


----------



## de_vi

good evening everybody, 

fififi - hang on in there for the last days, don't give up on those meds just yet! thinking of you, and Kirstylovessushi as well. I wish the weekend could be more enjoyable for all of us! Lesleylupin, I have everything crossed for you, and can just about imagine what a torture tonight must be. Hope you are doing ok honey!

moomin, how are you coping? just wanted to say thinking of you... 

bannyb and Superkitty - if you are in the middle of a cycle now then it probably won't help starting the DHEA now - but I am not an expert. Just from all the things I read on the internet when researching my supplements it seems that they do need approx. 3 months to have some effect. I started using the DHEA at the end of June, just after the first BFN - and indeed I didnt wait 3 months to start the next ICSI round, feeling pressured by that clock ticking, and then we didnt even have any embryos - but by the time we started the 3rd ICSI, beginning october, it had been 3 months already and the results were much better - at least we did have embryos, and more than ever before (I know, its all relative - I read with envy when others have even frosties - well, not bad envy, you know what I mean - well-wishing envy, "I wish I was that lucky!").

Chandlerino - before our first ICSI I had the same: something they saw on the ultrasound that could have been a polyp - and then they did a water-ultrasound to confirm and it was one indeed. I then had a hysteroscopy (was standard at the clinic we were at then), and at the same time they took that thing out - and it turned out to be a fibroid - as far as I was concerned they were both the same, but it was nerve-racking and it stopped the treatment going forward. I do hope this won't be your case and that the next step will dissipate any concerns.

good night everybody, may it lead to a good day full of good news! de_vi


----------



## tigge66

Hi All

Fififi I totally empathise with you after 9 years of TTC. If this cycle has not worked we need to moved on with our lives too. Treatment does tend to put a lot of things on hold. Emotions have been all over the place last couple of days. I have a lovely step D but know I will be devastated if this our last cycles has not worked.  

Lesley   for testing tomorrow. I have never managed to wait until test day.

Kirsty I hope your spotting has settled.  

Moominimum  . 

Hi to everyone else....

AFM not holding much hope on getting positive result on Monday from blood test after BFN on what should have been my OTD today. No bleeding, but that is normal for me as AF doesn't come until a few days after I stop the meds.

Tigger


----------



## LellyLupin

Thanks girls    As I feared I am not going to sleep tonight  De-Vi   I think DP is gearing himself up for a negative tomorrow cos he knows I willl be a puddle on the floor, I think he is dreading tomorrow as much as I am .  Remind me again why we do this  

Tigger I am sorry you got BFN but you never know some people have a BFN that changes, I will   for you honey xx

Night girls I am off to bed to stare into space   xx


----------



## goldbunny

can't sleep either indigestion. desperate for it to be a symptom but it is most likely because i had orange juice after rich dinner. 2ww driving insanity' scared to hope.


----------



## warey

Remind me why we do this again? On 2ww and havent slept since cycle started...refulx driving me nuts and my teeth are all going to fall put fr grinding...goodluck leslie for today!


----------



## Sushi Lover

Morning ladies, how is everyone doing today?

Lesley.... Any news honey?  Been thinking of you.

Fififi.... Are you still continuing with your meds regardless of the bleeding? My clinic said to definitely keep going until the OTD. Miracles do happen. Praying for you. 

Tigge6.... You may still not have enough hcg in your system for the test to be positive. Try not to give up hope. I know it's difficult to remain positive. Is your blood test tomorrow?

My spotting has settled a bit. Still there though. I'm frightened to move!

K x


----------



## hopeful68

Hi ladies,
firstly, FiFiFi - keep goiung with the meds. i was in a similar position to you and you will want to ensure that there is nothing you could have done better to improve your chances. i had 1st scan = empty sack, i had to wait a week for a 2nd scan - still empty sack but too small so had another 10 days until the 3rd scan and told (what i knew at the first scan!) that it was an empty sack and to stop the meds. but if i have had stopped after the first scan and something had developed i might have lost it so i did what i was told even though it felt entirely pointless but i can look back and not say i made a mistake! i hope you can bring yourself to keep going until told to stop.   to you. 

warey - i know what you mean, not slept properly since August!! - could go on a round the world cruise based onthe baggage under the eyes!! i did find camomile tea at night hleped - about an hour before bed time so i could have a wee before bed rather than wake up to get rid of the tea!! that and a relaxation/hypnosis app, didnt sleep all night but got some quality sleep for a few hours.

those spotting - if before OTD, dont forget the hormone levels may not be too high yet so your AF cycle may cause a slight.light bleed - natural and can happen during the whole pregnancy. also spotting can be implantation or the expulsion of the surplus embies that havent made it. it isnt ALL doom and gloom so chin up, feet up and relax until you know one way or another!!

Tigger - a cycle bubby of mine had a BFN on OTD but 2 days later rechecked and got BFP so you could try again before the bloods or wait and see what they say - dont give up just yet.....

Moominmum - i know you have dipped out of the thread but just incase you are checking in, i hope you are doing OK. 

take care ladies, have a nice sunday!! off to attempt a courgette cake, cucumber chutney bubbling away and pickled beetroot done! - busy day! not got in to the sewing bit yet, although i did hem my work trousers the other day!!


----------



## Queen_Bee

Hi Chandlerino, Lesley, Devi...

I haven't been on the site for ages! I 'banned myself' from it as it became a bit obsessive and I was feeling   But I was thinking about you all and wanted to check in...

So the last cycle I had at The Lister (in August) I had 13 eggs and only 3 fertilised which I thought was a bit odd...when I went for transfer on day 3 it turned out my dish was infected with ecoli so I was sent home with nothing. I was tested and my BF was tested to see if we were carrying the infection and we both came back negative so the doc said it was inconclusive but could have come from the lab, that it would only take a hand to touch a toilet door handle and then a hospital instrument, very unlikely, it had only happened there once two years ago, blah blah. To be honest I didn't want to share about this on Fertility Friends but anyway that's what happened. I was devastated as you can imagine so I left the hospital and wrote to them asking for a refund to which they said no. 

Moving on...I am now at the ARGC and in my 2WW. I had 8 eggs, 6 embryos, 3 of which were obviously stronger so they transferred those 3 on Friday. I am now nervous and convinced it will never work for me but trying not to think about it! I think at this stage it's a bit of a lottery after all I've had a perfect blast and that didn't work, so maybe day 3 is better for me? 

How are you ladies? I hope you're all doing well and for those I don't know I hope you're all doing well too!

Queen Bee x


----------



## LellyLupin

Hello Ladies    Sorry for the late post it was a BFN for me    I have been out all day, funnily enough I just need to be outside when I get bad news.  So far today I have taken the dog for a 6 mile hike, washed the sofa cushions, washed the dog, washed the car and cleaned the house.  Just trying not to think, I know bedtime will be a nightmare.  I didn't sleep last night as in my heart I knew it would be a negative and I was just dreading the test.  When I did the test I thought I saw a faint blue line but it turned out to be just the faint lines under the paper of the HPT,  and as soon as the paper got wet a big fat blue line came up on its own.  So its over for me now I can't afford to do it again. xx

Queen Bee I am so glad you are trying again and I wish you all the luck in the world honey.   I can't believe your last clinic won't give you your money back thats a disgrace, if you and your partner don't have the infection then in MUST be the clinics negligence. Thats ridiculous  

Kirsty good luck girl I hope you spotting has stopped and you get some good news, I will pop in and see how you do  
  
Good luck too Warey xx

Tigger I hope your blood test on Monday is positive and your BFN is a horrible mistake xx


Hopeful you are far too domesticated   saying that I did make a Spagetti Bolognaise the other day that I was quite proud of, maybe I will throw myself into learning to cook and shock everyone  

To everyone who has supported me on here,  and all of you going through your 2ww I wish you the best of luck in obtaining your dream.  Thank you so much for getting me through this emotional rollercoaster you girls and this site is a lifesaver.  I will pop back in when I have gathered myself together to see how you are all getting on, much love to you all xxxxx

Meme hope you and your bump are doing ok xxx


----------



## hopeful68

Lesley, really sorry to hear your news. Can't blame you for getting out and about, better than moaping about.  Like you I can't cycle again, so I hope you mind set settles soon and you can enjoy and make the most of your current family environment, it is amazing how inwardly focused you can get and forget about those you already have! Big   take care..... Hope you get some sleep!!


----------



## goldbunny

(((massive hug lesley))))


----------



## Lucky100

Lesley, so sorry for your BFN. I don't think any words will be a comfort right now but know that I am thinking of you and sending you big hugs. 

Lucky100


----------



## bannyb

So so sorry to read your post Lesley   I really do feel for you, blowing some bubbles and sending you such a great big   I really hope you can get some sleep tonight


----------



## beckxx2

So had my last scan yesterday before planned EC on Monday but unfortunately it did not go to plan.
The nurse couldn't find my right ovary so called in the Dr who also couldn't find it - apparently she was playing
Hide & Seek behind my bowel so they had no way of knowing if the 3 follies were ready - as I have one definite 
large follie on my left that is ripe & ready I was given the choice to abandon this cycle or carry on but try using IUI
instead - hubby was with me so we had a long discussion & have decided to go with a go at the IUI instead of the IVF/ICSI - my gut instinct was to carry on!!  so triggers last night and in tomorrow lunch time for IUI

Hope u r all doing ok on this Sunday evening xx


----------



## Moominmum

Lesley: so so sorry to read your post   Life is just not fair sometimes.  

Beckxx: goof luck for the IUI tomorrow. Will be thinking of you!  

Lucky: hope you're doing well 

Kirsty: hope you're feeling more upbeat   

Thanks for all the lovely support everyone. Although no longer active in this thread, this was my introduction to FF and such a life saver for me in the process. Big


----------



## de_vi

oh no, Lesley, I am SO so sorry..... I so had hoped it would work out this time for you..... will be thinking of you while you regroup. take good care of yourself honey!!


----------



## Sushi Lover

So sorry to hear your news Lesley. Life can be so unfair. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

Unfortunately looks like this cycle is over for me as well. My bleeding has got heavier and heavier throughout the day. So I can't imagine my precious little embryo has managed to hold on.  Feel like a complete failure and incredibly sad. I can't see how it will ever work for us at the moment. I know it's always the lowest day when AF arrives and hopefully I'll start feeling better again as the week goes on.... get some of my positivity back....but right now, I'm at rock bottom. DP giving me big cuddles and saying all the right things. He is my life saver! We will try again in a couple of months.

I want to hear some positive news from one of you girlies now please!! BFP's all the way!

K x


----------



## Moominmum

Kirsty:


----------



## bannyb

So sorry Kirsty    Big   to you.


----------



## LellyLupin

Thanks girls I appreciate the support.   I know how you feel Kirsty I am so up and down I feel sorry for DP.  I even ingored a call from my cousin in America cos I don't want to talk to anyone who doesn't understand the process, and if I hear 'well never mind you still have your stepkids' one more time I will scream!!!

Good luck Becks xx

Hopeful  I am praying for a lottery win


----------



## fififi

Firstly big, big thanks for all the messages of support this weekend. Spent most of Saturday in bed as just wanted to shut myself off from world but today have tried to get out house and regain a smidgen of hope that perhaps 1 of 2 embies might still be hanging in there. Managed to do a Tesco shop without the store being full of pg ladies and crying babies so obviously I've not hit rock bottom just yet as that's who I'm normally surrounded by at low times!

lesley - so sorry you are in this cr*p place right now. It's so unfair. Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs to try and help in some some way      You've been a wonderful support to me over these last weeks and even when having a bad time seem to find humour in a situation. You've made me laugh which has definitely helped. Take care of you cos from the little I know of you you sound like an amazing lady    
Once you're feeling up to it you'll have to share some of your plans for the fun you're going to have in the next part of your journey. I for one haven't booked a holiday more than a few weeks in advance since my honeymoon in 2003 so think that will be a definite on my list. Finally I won't have to just stay in whatever cottage/apartment nobody else wanted!!!

beck - how frustrating you're ovary went into hiding but I'm a big believer in fate so perhaps IUI is all you need to get your dreams. Hoping IUI goes smoothly for you tomorrow    

queen bee - hello, can't believe what happened to you on last cycle. Good on you for switching clinic and hopefully this change is all you needed. Wishing you lots of success    

hopeful - thank you so much for your positive comments and support  . Am all confused at moment as bleed now semi stopped and instead just have constant brown cm. Am taking your advice and continuing with pessaries & clexane just in case - like you say, it's important that whatever the result I feel like I did all I could within reason.
How did your cooking turn out? I'm curious about the courgette cake? If it was good & not too tricky to do you'll have to pass me the recipe if you've time. My DH nearly choked me to death last weekend from the vinegar fumes that filled the house when pickling beetroot (the only thing that grew in garden this year) - don't think he knew what he was doing!!!!

salad - hoping tomorrow's scan brings good news. Guessing you'll be feeling nervous right now but hopefully all this extra stress is for nothing and you'll be fretting on 2ww very soon now   

bannyb - thanks for your message. TTC is something that takes over too much of our lives and even being aware of that it's so very hard to do things that would quite probably enrich our lives "just in case". Thinking of you & hoping that your dreams get reached soon   

warey, goldbunny, devi, superkitty (and anyone else I've missed on 2ww) - hope the 2ww continues quickly for you   

lucky - hi hun, hope the wait for scan is going okay. I remember that being nearly as horrid as 2ww. So pleased that at least one of us made it to the other side of this challenge  

kirsylovessushi - so sorry that your bleed got heavier     It's horrible getting BFN as having built yourself up to a date it feels even more unsettling when you get bleed beforehand as part of you wants to keep beleiving and doesn't fully let you be sad and cry for the dream you've just lost. Really sad you haven't made it this time but glad you feel able to give things another shot and wishing you success really soon    


moom - you're still in my thoughts and hoping you're doing okay, all things considered   

tiggee - so, so hoping you get a lovely surprise tomorrow    . Can imagine how sad you must be feeling today and hope you have been able to relax a bit at least. Try to sleep a little and I will be crossing everything for you          

chandlerino - hoping you get reassuring news this week and are able to continue with cycle   

Hope that's everyone - but just in case - here's few extra hugs for those I've not remembered


----------



## urbangirl

LesleyL, oh no, so not the news we wanted to hear, it's such a huge disaapointment, nothing anyone can say really, you put your all into it.  I really hoped you would get your positive this time.  Why does such a simple thing that happens all by itself normally have to be so difficult for us?  I hope you can try again in the future, and the one good thing is that you will probably be able to with your amh.  I think we'd all like to win the lottery, I'm playing every week for that reason!

KIrstyLS, so sorry for your news as well, it is so unfair.    

QueenB, nice to have you back.  FIngers crossed for this one.  I can't believe your treatment at Lister, you shouldn't take no for an answer, there's no excuse for anything in the lab to become infected, even less in a top-rated clinic like that, that's appalling.  I would shout about it everywhere, that could be the very encouragement they need to cough-up.


----------



## goldbunny

(((kirsty))) so sorry


----------



## tigge66

Hi All 

Fififi .... Made me smile you comment about holidays. SNAP exactly the same for us. The first thing we will do if the blood test confirms the BFN is book a holiday for next summer, will have the excitement of looking forward to a holiday. Although I do kind of like my last minute bargains. 

Lesley sending you a   and   you find solace in having tried your very best. 

Kirsty send you a  . 

Moominmum  . 

Send   to all still on their journey. 

AFM I decided not to test today. I have one test left but may just leave it to the blood test tomorrow. I have supper googled this and very unlikely to get a positive blood test now. Have discussed what next with DH. This will be the end of the IVF road for us after over 9 years of trying. One of the hard things is the loft full of baby things. We will look at part time fostering, there is a big need and I think we have all the skills. 

Tigger


----------



## goldbunny

i imagine the loft full of baby things is really tough to deal with. 
i hope this suggestion doesn't sound insensitive but perhaps a friend could sell them on ebay for you and you could donate the money to a prem baby unit or something. x


----------



## fififi

tiggee - cheap holidays but always total stress trying to get organised last minute! Me & DH even managed to goto Thailand with just 8 days notice!!! Great time when there but the 8 days to get ready were hell - don't think I slept for 48 hours before flight!!!

- Remember that while the chances for you are slim they are still there    . You so deserve this so will use all my wishes for you tonight    

- The loft full of baby things is going to be huge hurdle to deal with. I've started "lending" things to friends so that there's less for me to see when finally admit defeat. I've spent several evenings crying already and that was just with loans so I can't imagine how I'll manage knowing it's for real.
Think fostering would be a wonderful thing to do. Sadly I wouldn't have the strength to do that but know that if you can you'd be making a huge difference to those children's lives. Plus I'm sure E would be very proud of her mummy and daddy sharing their love with others who didn't get that from their real parents


----------



## Queen_Bee

Lesley I am so sorry to hear your news...I have a friend that says "less drama more laundry" so when ever I feel down I clean because it distracts me and I get something done –  so far this year my flat has been sparkling like a showroom   I send you lots of strength.

Fififi thanks for welcoming me   I think I will dip in and out of this thread but will definitely keep you all posted.

Wishing you all a great week ahead whatever the IVF challenges!

QB x


----------



## tigge66

Hi All

Goldbunny We plan to do a combination. I did also think about giving some things to a refuge if they had a mum with a premie.

Fififi than you  . i know there is a big shortage of link foster parents when the family just have a couple of nights off per months. I may yet find that I don't have the strength to do it but would like to explore it as an option. I too have lent a few things out and given loan items back ages ago. Lots of   for a miracle tomorrow. 

Tigger.


----------



## fififi

Tiggee - sent you a pm -      for tomorrow


Hoping all this sadness lots of us have experienced on the thread over the weekend changes with some wonderful news tomorrow


----------



## goldbunny




----------



## Chandlerino

Sorry to hear your news Lesley and Tiggee - big  

QB - I agree with Urbangirl that is terrible of for such a supposed top clinic. Hope you have got some legal advice.... or do I remember you are a lawyer - maybe I dreamt that? Anyways if the legal route is a no go - I think another letter to them and **** with a veiled threat to go to the media - they would have a field day..... Nice to see you back on the thread and go luck with treatment.

Hello to everyone else 

DH and I went to Prague today to take our minds off the dreaded scan tomorrow - he will be on the flight home when I find out what the next steps are going to be.

xxxxxx


----------



## Tiny21

To everyone who needs it


And     to those who need them 
Xxxxx


----------



## wishforamiracle

Lesley
          i just popped in to see how you were doing ...... I'm so sorry to hear your news i had such high hopes for you..... i feel for you and send you the biggest hug  
    QB lady good luck...... and to everyone else who knows me or not the best of luck too


----------



## Sushi Lover

Thanks for all the hugs and lovely words ladies.  Much appreciated.  What a fanastic support mechanism this forum is. 

Tigger...  thinking of you, how did you get on today?

Lesley...  people say such insensitive things don't they?  Unbelievable about the stepkids comment!  I totally understand with ignoring calls, sometimes you just don't want to talk.  If one more person asks if I had a good weekend I'll scream!  I know it's not their fault, but clearly I don't look full of the joys of spring and just want to be left alone to wallow in self-pity  

fififi.... I'm so with you on the pregnant ladies/newborn babies thing...  are they just everywhere when you don't want to see it?  This morning on my way to work a pregnant woman stood right in front of me on the tube..  of course the man in the priority seat doesn't move an inch.  So I did the right thing and offered her my seat.  I nearly broke down in tears.  Why can't it be me?! That's good your bleeding has stopped though..  still some hope there.  I'm continuing with the clexane and pessaries just in case as well.  I think my bleeding is too heavy for the embryo to stay put though, but I'm finding it difficult to give up totally until my OTD.


K xx


----------



## warey

Dear leslie...i am so sorry.


----------



## Salad4

Bubbles to Lesley and KirstyLS.
Scan this morning looked ok, but waiting for bloods.  Also had ovulation mucus this morning which freaked me out, but as with everything it can be a good or a bad sign....
tigger - hugs for you and fostering sounds like a plan  although I appreciate it's not the same.
    and      to everyone.
Sally


----------



## Sushi Lover

Hi Sally.

Glad your scan went ok.  How are your follis and lining looking now?  Are the 3 follicles you had last week getting bigger?  Any others popped up?  Good luck for your blood results.

K x


----------



## Salad4

Scan was ok - lining 10mm, two follicles 18-20mm and two more 11-13mm, so as long as the blood test isn't bad, then we're moving along to egg collection on Weds.  So I'm sat by the phone waiting for it to ring (but of course if it's ok, then they don't ring, so maybe I'm waiting for it not to ring  )
Sally


----------



## Sushi Lover

That all sounds great then!  Lovely thick lining.  Hopefully you'll get a nice few mature eggs on Wednesday then.  "No news is good news" re the call I'd say!!

Keep drinking lots of water and milk to help the follis, plus eating tons of protein...  I've heard it helps.

K x


----------



## Chandlerino

well had scan and no polyp [thanks UK clinic wont be using u again]. 4 follies - egg collection prob sat - another scan on weds.....


----------



## LellyLupin

Would you believe it my lovely brother has offered to give me the money to do another treatment!  Now my head is all over the place


----------



## dillydolly

Lesley lupin

Lucky you nice brother! Go for it!


----------



## Salad4

Lesley - what lovely news - just the offer makes you feel good, so you win all ways round.
Chanderlino - great news - good luck for the egg collection.
sally


----------



## Sushi Lover

Lesley.... what fabulous news, and what fabulous brother you have!  Surely you have to give it another try then?  Will this one be 3rd time lucky?

Chandlerino...  glad to hear there is no polyp...  how could the clinic/radiographer get it so wrong?  That is bad.  Good you can carry on with this cycle.  You must be so relieved.

Goldbunny...  are you half way through your 2ww now?  That past week must have felt like a year!  Positive thoughts being sent your way.  Are you listening to your Zita West CD?!

K x


----------



## Queen_Bee

Hi girls - 

Chandlerino sadly I am not a lawyer   work in fashion which won't get me very far disputing the hospital...but I will definitely get onto it once this cycle is over.

Lesley - I knew it! I had a feeling it wasn't over for you I almost said something but it would have sounded daft! I can't remember if you're in the UK and if you're happy with your clinic but I have experienced 3 so far so if you need advice let me know!

So I am just waiting now... I want this over with now! I have another week and a half to go but it will go fast...it gets easier the more times I do it so that's one good thing! I just wish I could be more positive and excited about the possibility of it working. Oh well...it's a lot of pressure so maybe it's too much to ask...

Hope you're all doing well! 

QB xx


----------



## de_vi

Lesley, am so happy for you!! Whichever way you decide, its a great thing!


----------



## Moominmum

Lesley: that is great news! Nice bro  

QB: Your story is awful - I cannot believe that they would not refund. I was thinking of going to them to get another view on things. Not so much now I think! Sending you    for your 2ww.

Kirstyhow are you feeling today?  

fififi: hope you are feeling better today.  

Lucky: how are you? Countdown to scan - woohoo!  

Tigge, Chandler: how did you get on today?  

Everyone that I have not mentioned:   

Moominmum


----------



## tigge66

Hi All

Moominmum  

Lesley great that you have the option of money help, will you take a while to consider it?

It was a BFN for us today from bloods .... this is the end of our IVF journey, time to move on and live a more 'normal life', plan holidays, tidy the house! 

Thank you everyone for all of your support and encouragement on this rollercoaster journey.

Wishing everyone every success.   

Tigger


----------



## Moominmum

Tigge:


----------



## Salad4

Tigger - so sorry for your results -


----------



## tigge66

Moominmum and Salad thank you.

Tigger


----------



## urbangirl

Oh no, Tigge, not a bfn for you too, I can’t believe how hard this all is    

Salad & chandlerino, good luck for your EC’s- Chandlerino, so annoying that clinic got it wrong (clinics get so much wrong!!!) but thank goodness it was good news and you can get on with the cycle.  I hope you had a nice time in gorgeous Prague.

Lesley, your brother is seriously nice, I think I fancy him a bit!!    Honestly, though, just my opinion, but if you do another cycle it could be an idea to try a different clinic, at least just to know if you can get a better result elsewhere.  You’re given your one two precious throws at the bucket (I've got that expression totally wrong, haven't I?!) and they’ve done okay but a different clinic might do some things differently that may 'click' with you better in some way...

Everyone else, a big hello, I'm a bit overwhelmed by the thread at the mo, can't keep up...


----------



## urbangirl

Ladies, this is in all the papers today:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/9624688/Doctors-may-have-unlocked-secret-of-IVF-success-for-older-mothers.html

It's about testing for chromosome abnormailites before doing ET, but I thought that was PGD, does anyone here know exactly what PGD is, then? Maybe this is just a more advanced version of that. Anyway, another interesting part of the technique is that they freeze the 'good' embryos for a month before transferring them, that apparently helps- good news for all of us with some future babies in the freezeer...

All these advances some with a _large_ price tag, of course 

/links


----------



## tigge66

Urbangirl PDG stands for preimplantation Gentic Diagnosis.

Tigger.


----------



## SuperKitty

urbangirl said:


> Ladies, this is in all the papers today:
> 
> http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/9624688/Doctors-may-have-unlocked-secret-of-IVF-success-for-older-mothers.html
> 
> It's about testing for chromosome abnormailites before doing ET.
> 
> All these advances some with a _large_ price tag, of course


Ohhhh yes. It's a bit spendy  This is what we are having done at CARE Nottingham on this cycle. So I can be the test case for y'all. 

I'll be back on tomorrow to do personals but in the meantime I wanted to send hugs to everyone who is having a rough week. I am thinking of you xxxx


----------



## Moominmum

UG: when it was a risk that I might have to delay the transfer if the biopsy had come back with a bad result, my clinic told me that their latest results for frozen cycles for 40+ were better than for fresh cycles and in comparison to younger women, which had surprised them. They had no real explanation to it, only theories.


----------



## goldbunny

one theory is that only the best embryos survive freezing and thawing, and that if they make it that far, they're in with a good chance. it's an extra layer of testing in a way.. weeds out those that have the least chance of success and thus improving the success rate.

another theory is that our bodies settle down after all the IVF tx and then are more ready to accept the embryo when prepped for a FET, compared to coming straight off stims and having E/T.


----------



## Moominmum

GB: Yup this is what I was told too


----------



## LellyLupin

Hi Girls  

Tigs I am so sorry chick I know exactly how you feel, I really do snd I know no words can make it hurt less so i am just sending you a huge   xx

UG your comment made me laugh cos most of my friends fancy my brother, he looks like Tom Cruise    He is the best brother in the world but I am not going to take his money.  Its not fair on him and I would feel like I'd be taking advantage of him as I can't pay him back.  I need to move on and put all this behind me no matter how hard it is.  This round has left me emotionally shattered and just so so tired I can't explain it, I am going to try and give myself a mental rest. I haven't slept for the past 2 nights and have cried since Saturday morning, I need to get a grip,  I even went and mucked the horses out tonight just to get back to normality.  Still no AF though which is strange as I stopped all drugs on Friday night, gettin lots of pains but nothing so far xx

Good luck for your EC Chands and Salad xxx  No polps now Chands, how can the clinic get it so wrong?  I am beginning to have a huge distrust of this whole business. 

QB I so hope this round works for you you are such a lovely lady xx  What were you going to say by the way?

Hello Fifi, Kirsty, Mooms, WFAM, Kitty, De-vi,Warey, dillydolly, Tiny and anyone else I have missed


----------



## Queen_Bee

Hi Lesley   I meant that when you said that this was the end of the road for you I had a feeling it wasn't but didn't say it at the time. See how you feel in a few weeks and then decide, I think when we are so hormonal and full of drugs it's hard to decide on anything let alone a big decision like this! But it's great to have the offer on the table whatever you want to do.

Moninmum, I don't want to put anyone off as some people get on well at The Lister, but personally I had disaster after disaster and I lost 6 months of very important time for me. They made a lot of mistakes, and at the ARGC so far they have made none. If it doesn't work this time, I think I find it a lot easier to accept when I know they have given their all and not been negligent. I did 3 cycles at the Lister and 2 of them were cancelled due to errors on their part...as I say not the case for everyone just my experience. 

Have a great day girls!

QB x


----------



## Sushi Lover

Oh Tigger, I'm so sorry to hear your news....  It really is the hardest thing to go through.  We all feel you pain.  Sending you massive hugs.

Moominmum... I'm feeling really low still.  My OTD is tomorrow, but considering the bleeding I've had on and off since Saturday I'm not holding out any hope at all now.  I stuck with the meds just in case.  But I think it's wishful thinking on my part.  How are you bearing up?

Wow, Lesley, your brother sounds hot.  Shall we form an orderly queue?!  Only you know if it's the right thing to have another try. Money aside....it is so easy to lose sight of what it does to our relationships with our other halves, friends and family, our sanity, our health and our lives in general.  You need a proper rest (mentally and physically) before making a firm decision.  If your brother is like mine, then he wouldn't dream of you paying him back.  It's what families do to help each other out.  Don't be too hard on yourself by thinking it's not fair on him.  He wouldn't have offered if he couldn't afford it.  Also you'll be 'paying him back' with the possibility of having a beautiful niece or nephew in his life!!  Money can't buy that. 

Fififi... how are you feeling lovie?

QB...  keep listening to your Zita West CD for relaxation! I downloaded it onto my Ipod and found it really helped when I wanted to shut off the outside world and de-stress.

K x


----------



## goldbunny

yeah i know it's a big deal but i'd take the money - if it was me - no question. seriously. he will get reward from knowing he helped. as long as he understands the % chance of it working. and that there are no guarantees.


----------



## goldbunny

family support means the world and if you let them help it becomes 'their fight' too... extra love and energy coming your way. even if it doesn't work at least you are a team and that's an amazing thing.


----------



## Moominmum

QB: I think it is good that you are being open about The Lister. After all, what we ladies here do not have is time, so anyone wasting our time is just not wanted. Everyone is human so mistakes can happen, but seriously - 2 cycles cancelled is just not acceptable. Especially not for a clinic with their reputation (and therefore meaning that they ask for top whack!). Anyway, you have moved on and I am   for you that this is your time.  

Lesley: once you feel a bit better, maybe think about your brother's offer again. He has a following in this thread now me thinks 

Kirsty: so sorry to hear you're down.     AFM, I just had to move fwd. We are blessed with DS who keeps me busy and also, as I have put life on hold for the past couple of months, I have to get "back in business". I have retrained over the past 2 years (into an area where women 40+ are not the most sought after - why do we always want to make life so difficult for ourselves?) so now I have to get that job. On Friday we have our follow up meeting so I need to be prepared for that one too.

Everyone else:    and I am hoping for some good news soon


----------



## urbangirl

KirstyLS- teehee, me first, because I fancied him before knowing he was good looking, so I must be genuine!  And you have a generous brother too?  Blimey, I feel really short-changed here, no nice dog and no lovely brother willing to pay for anything either    I think I'll just go and dig myself a hole!  
I'm sending you lots and lots of     for tomorrow, 

But Lesley, I see what you mean, you need to take some time away from all this, only you know if it's something you are prepared to pursue, as it's always to the exclusion of everything else.  After a month of normality you will probably see everything clearer and know what's best for you.  Deciding to move on is as hard as carrying on.

Tigge, isn't that (PGD) the same thing as checking the embryo has the correct no. of chromosomes though?

Superkitty, is what you are having at Care PGD? THe technique they are referring to in the article must be something different because PGD has been around for a while, I have to read a bit further and try and find out exactly what's new about the technique they're talking about.  Care would probably know, actually, since they're so hot on the PGD thing. They're a very good clinic, looooong waiting list though! I' thought about going there (in the begining when I had some cash!) but I thought if I wait that long I'll be menopausal!

Moominmum, that's interesting what your clinic told you about freezing, I like to freeze but my clinics bang on about fresh, fresh, fresh so I just think 'oh, alright then!!' but i may concentrate on freezing again now....

QB, you've definitely put me off the Lister!! even if I could afford it.  The ARGC are better, anyway.  Have you posted what happened to you on the Lister thread?  The more people who know about it the better, otherwise (yes, I'm repeating myself) clinics never improve. I hope you are going to be one of ARGC's happy statistics.  I wonder if they still put in max no. of embryos there...

Goldbunny, yes, that's what the article said, about the body needing to recover from all the drugs to be a better environment for the embryo.  There's so much conflicting information, it's impossible to know what to do, and there isn't a single clinic that employs all the best techniques together in one place, yet.  Why they can't all get up to speed and provide best practise in every step of the process is anyone's guess.


----------



## Sushi Lover

Urbangirl....  stop digging that hole!!...  I just meant my brother pays for the occasional curry on a Friday night!! hee hee.  No need to feel short-changed.

I'm sure if I needed financial help he would be there for me though.  At the moment, DP and I are ploughing through our savings to fund our IVF.  Went to the GP at 39 years of age to ask for NHS funding and we were refused due to the fact my other half has children from a previous relationship.  Seems very unfair on me!  It's not as if the children live with us or anything.

Thanks for the positive vibes!

My bleeding stops in the day and as soon as I do a Clexane injection in the evening I get another bleed...  has anyone heard of this before?

K x


----------



## Queen_Bee

Thanks for your support ladies! 

I am feeling a bit low today not sure why. Just over a week to go now!
I went for a blood test at the ARGC today and bumped into a lady who is cycling at the same time as me and she had a blasto transferred and I only had day 3 day tansfer so I am comparing myself and thinking it's not going to happen to me. I know there is no rhyme or reason as to why this works and I have had a blasto before that didn't work but it seems like any little thing brings me down. I think distraction is my best solution!

I am working form home at the moment as I freelance so I will throw myself into that and try to forget about this whole thing. Please God let this happen to me one day!

Hugs to you all especially Tigger - thinking of you xx

QB x


----------



## Sushi Lover

Queen_Bee....  try not to do the comparison thing (easy for me to say and we've all done it!)...  but you are right about the no rhyme of reason to the success of the treatment.  Some girls get positives with fragmented, poor quality embryos and others get negatives with top grade blastocysts.  It really is mostly luck!  Just remember the embryo was put back in the right place on day 3 to give it a better chance then in a petri dish.  Your body really is the best environment for it to thrive in.  Look after yourself.

Can I ask a few questions about ARGC?  I'm thinking of moving clinics.  I've noticed the cost of £2,500 for IVF is quite a reasonable one.  I paid £3,300 last time.  Do the extra costs for the blood tests really mount up?  How often do you have them?  They mention it could be as often as daily on their website.  Also, have you been able to keep the costs down by buying your drugs on-line?  Or do ARGC have some clause in the paperwork that you buy your medication from them?

K x


----------



## SuperKitty

Fififi and Tigge66 – I’m a bit late to this, but just wanted to say how sorry I am.  Life is very unfair sometimes, isn’t it?  I hope that you can find a way forward and that things work out for you.    Tigge - fostering sounds like a great idea, you can change people’s lives that way.

Moominmum – if you pop into the thread, hello and hope you’re doing ok.  Hope your follow-up meeting on Friday goes well.  

Salad4 – good news about your lining and follies, that all sounds good.  

Kirstylovessushi –  praying for good news for you on your OTD tomorrow (it is tomorrow, isn’t it?)    Did you get any answers re. the Clexane bleed?  I'm going to have to do Clexane injections later in the process as well...

De_vi – thanks for the info re. it probably being too late to start with the DHEA.  At least it’s not another pill to take.  

Warey – how is your 2ww going?

Queen_Bee – hi, your experience at the Lister sounds awful!  It’s bad enough feeling so out of control of everything, but then when they start to do things wrong that affect the outcome for you…grrr.   Hope this time is better for you!  Don’t worry about 3 day versus blast – they told me that if they’re going to stick and develop, they’ll do that regardless of when they went in..and isn’t your body (where they’re meant to be) a better place for them to do that than in a petri dish?

Lesleylupin – oh no  I’m so sorry, I know nothing I can say will make it better but please know I’m thinking of you – give that little doggie a big cuddle.    And get as much ‘outside time’ as you can, hopefully it will help a little.  Take some time to think about the offer from your brother, you don’t have to make a decision straight away.  Strangely enough my brother keeps asking if he can help financially (think he feels guilty because they conceived with no problems and he’s my younger brother) but luckily at the moment we can just about afford it.  It helps to have someone even offer though, doesn’t it?  It made me feel loved.    He doesn’t look like Tom Cruise though  

Beckxx2 – how did your IUI go?

Chandlerino – great news about the polyp (or lack of!) I’ve lost track, have you had EC yet?


Urbangirl – we are having Array CGH rather than PGD.  Array CGH is where they test the embryos (via blastomere or trophoblast biopsy, depending on how they develop) for chromosomal abnormalities and only put chromosomally perfect embryos back in.  Depending on how they develop, they will either do a 3 or 4 day ET, or freeze them for about a month and then do ET the following month.  Hope that helps shed a bit more light for those that were curious.  

We had a lot of confusion and uncertainty with our first round - it failed pretty spectacularly the day after ET, and we never got any real answers as to why.  We wanted some tests and Bourn Hall refused to do them (even though we were private patients and perfectly willing to pay) until we’d had at least one more failed cycle ..so we voted with our feet to show how we felt about that!  When we moved to CARE Nottingham we both then had chromosome and DNA testing and that showed up a few blips, which are treatable.  

Having the Array CGH, although pretty expensive, seemed like a way of finding out one way or the other whether it’s a possibility for us to conceive with our own eggs and swimmers – it may be that we can’t produce chromosomally perfect embryos, in which case it might be time to stop and consider other options.  And if we can but it doesn’t work this time, then maybe it’s worth having another go… I don’t know.  I’m sounding very scientific about it all aren’t I?  I don’t feel scientific, I’m all over the shop.      

Hello and hugs to Goldbunny, Bannyb, Mish3434, Amkham, Amittai, mememebaby, Hopeful68,Wishforamiracle, Babydreams400,Lucky100 and anyone else I’ve missed.  

Anyway, AFM, AF arrived on Sunday so my first DR scan is scheduled for 31st October…not looking forward to getting the 6.30am train to get to Nottingham on time..but hey, I’m sure I’ll get used to that journey over the coming weeks!   Still managing to keep up with some exercise which is making me feel better, although I’ve got a cracking headache today…I usually get one for one day with AF, so hopefully it’s only that rather than any side effects.  We should be completing on our new house on Thursday so I’m quite happy to be distracted by that! 

Take care everyone, thinking of you all xx


----------



## beckxx2

Hi Superkitty,

The iui went ahead as scheduled on Monday and now on to the anxious 2ww.

DH not totally happy we did iui instead of the icsi but it was either that or cancel and wait another month or 2 and I just felt I needed to continue with the cycle.......I have explained to him that main difference between this and the icsi is that we knew the egg had fertilised before being tranferred back whereas this time the lil swimmers will have no assistance - so its a waiting game once again.

xx hope everyone is well xx


----------



## Queen_Bee

Hi Kirsty, 
it does mount up but I think it's worth it. I am happy to direct message you or we can speak on the phone if you want. I could write an entire essay on this thread! Essentially for 2 weeks you go in every day but then it depends on each person whether you need immune testing, re-testing, hysteroscopy, etc. The drugs are the same price as online (most of them, anyway) but then you can take back what you don't use on EC day. I was refunded £1000!  
I honestly think that it can be false economy to go somewhere cheaper that end up infecting a dish or missing something...Let me know if you want more details. 

Super Kitty you're right!   

Thanks ladies it's so nice to get your support! xx


----------



## urbangirl

I just want to speak up here for cheaper clinics, cheaper doesn't necessarily mean worse, (& the Lister is actually very expensive). I've been to an extremely expensive, very good clinic, but I prefer the cheaper clinics I go to now (and get better results), because they offer me things that that clinic didn't.  Every clinic is different and has it's pluses and minuses, even the best clinics in the world don't offer the best of everything, they're just the best at some things.  For example, the ARGC are very good if you want lots of monitoring, and they do some immunes, but if you have other priorities you may be better off elsewhere.

Superkitty, that was really useful info, thanks.

KirstyLS, goodness, the excuses that the NHS come up with for not treating just get worse and worse, what have your partner's children got to do with it?


----------



## Lucky100

Hi everyone, I'm still popping onto the thread now and then to keep up with everyone's news  

Tigge, so sorry to hear your news. I hope that however things work out, you are happy  

Moominmum, thanks for your mention, I can tell you that the wait for the first scan is way, way worse than the 2ww for me anyway, but I am so grateful to be in this position to be honest. 
Good Luck for your follow up meeting. 

Lesley, wow, what a generous offer from your brother.  

Beck, good luck for your 2ww 

Love to all you ladies. Keep strong! 

Lucky100


----------



## LellyLupin

Hello girls xx

Well Af started today so thats that not little miracles to be had.  

QB sorry to hear you are having a bit of the blues  , I did too this time for some reason, I had a mortal fear of doing the test.  Its just all the drugs messing with you, just try and keep busy and positive xx

Hi Lucky how are you feeling, do you have any pregnancy symptoms, are you eating coal yet  

UG the NHS are very good at punishing those whose partners already have kids, its so unfair, those kids are not ours so why should we be penalised.   

Good luck on your 2ww wait Becks, hope you give us some good news xx

Your comments about my brother have made me laugh, he'd be mortified we are talking about him he is so shy    I may consider his offer later I don't know, I am wondering if I should have some councelling and see if I can make this urge go away first.  I just want to feel normal without this baby cloud hanging over me all the time, just to relax and focus on other things for a while.  Kirsty you are so right when you say we forget about all the good things we have and the relationships we already have.  Is your OTD tomorrow?  Sending you some   and   .

Kitty that all sounds intriguing  let us know how you get on I am really interested in anything new xx

Moomin good luck with your job hunting, and your follow up appointment.  I haven't even rang my clinic for that yet, I just can't face it.  I am off for a couple of nights in Harrogate  to try and chill out before I make that call xx

Tigs & Fifi hope you are doing ok  

Hi Goldbunny you are probably right and my brother would get his reward from helping, its me who has the issue taking it, it just feels wrong somehow xx


----------



## Amittai

HI Ladies,

I havent posted on here for a while, been on my 2ww... but popping in as today is the day before my OFFICIAL OTD!

       for other 2ww ladies: goldbunny ;de_vi; Tiny21; beckxx2  - I hope i havent missed anyone.

SuperKitty - good that AF has arrived and scan booked, nice.  you'll be on that red eye express to Nottingham before you know it!
I agree totally with the excercise coping mechanism, its a life saver for me, on many levels!
Good luck, and good luck for the house completing. sounds like everything is coming together  

Kirstylovessushi - good luck with the decision making on on moving clinics. i hope you find one soon that you connect with. its worth spending the mental and time and research effort, nothing is every wasted in that regard.  

Tigge66,  Lesley Lupin, Fififi, Moominmum - hiya ladies.. and   

Hi to urbangirl;  wishforamiracle; Chandlerino; dillydolly   


Warey - good luck with Serum. they seem to have one of the best reputations. i guess you cant go wrong!  

Salad4 - good luck with IVF at Lister, looking good..  

Lucky100 - hope you enjoying your BFP!!        nice to see you popping back

Queen_Bee - that clinic 'misshap' sounds unbelievable, I hope you find a way of working through it that is not too frought with difficult emotions,  no doubt you will , but a (fair and square) refund woudl certainly help! i spose its not the kind of thing to go onto watchdog.. but something should be done. but i hope you get some extra good luck to balance it out    

and hi to everyone I have missed.  

So - my news: tomorrow is my OTD, but I have done sneaky tests for 3 days and I can report THAt..... they are ALL    


    

so i guess its phoning the doc soon woot woot!!

thanks for all support ladies.. and i wish you all the best best best of luck and i still feel very overwhelmed and sort of in shock (in a good way of course! heehee) and kind of i just dont know what to say or what to do or waht to think, but I am just taking it one day at a time and i am going just let myself be extactic and happy and relieved and feel wonderfully blessed and fortunate and excited and start to get to know my little emby/s!!


----------



## Amittai

oops, sorry to post that just as LesleyLupin posted , they crossed in mid stream, sorry if it makes anyone sad.
i feel bad posting about BFP at the moment.. sorry if i upset anyone.. i really don't mean to. i just wanted to let people know and i hope it is encouraging rahter than anythign else..
its  a bit of a catch22..        and     to everyone and I wish i had a magic wand right now ..


----------



## Tiny21

Amittai
      
That's fantastic, you naughty early tester   


Haven't read back but have you had symptoms.?. Couldn't resist asking    these 2ww are nightmares aren't they? 
Xx


----------



## Lucky100

Ammitai, FANTASTIC!  
Amazing news, you must be so thrilled! Well done you, enjoy the moment!

Lesley, no, no coal cravings as yet...  but my boobs are like rocks...oo ouch!

Lucky100 x


----------



## Amittai

hi Tiny thanks! yip sneaky testing.. 
main symptom i've had is low level carsickness (except i dont actually own a car in real life..!) and larger than life bb's (sorry!) and a bit more thirsty.. and perhaps a bit more tired, but that could be anything, so not going on that. otherwise not much else tbh.
and you Tiny? hows yours going?
yip, total stress...most definitely. not easy to explain.. and i must remember i am on early days.. good luck!!

Hi Lucky thanks too!


----------



## Moominmum

Amittai: that's great news!     To hear about other people's BFPs shows us all that it can work so bring on the good news please


----------



## goldbunny

amittai great news


----------



## LellyLupin

Amittai don't be silly enjoy your BFP                 Congratulations sweetie and thank you for posting some good news after all the BFNs we have had lately, you must be on cloud 9 xxxx


----------



## fififi

amittai - yeah! Well done you - glad we've finally got a BFP this week 

on really tiny mobile so can't write much but will post with laptop 2moro - hugs to all 

Kirsty - will be thinking of u 2moro & hoping that at least  one of us  gets brilliant surprise


----------



## wishforamiracle

Hi QB 
          dont fret lady i got my little girl from a day 3 transfer....... its great to see BFP's on here .......Congrats !!!!!!!.....and i hope you can try again Lesley .....


----------



## Sushi Lover

Sorry I can't add to the good news from Amittai (many congrats lovie!)....  I got a BFN this morning.  So the bleeding was the start of AF as I thought.

I'm absolutely devastated.  Feel desperately unhappy and am in a surreal black haze at the moment.  It's going to be a long day.....

K xx


----------



## Tiny21

Kirsty xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Moominmum

Kirsty:


----------



## Queen_Bee

Congrats Amittai!! You must be over the moon!

UG I agree about what you said, for me the most important thing is if you are treated as an individual or as a number - whatever the clinic, size or cost.

Wish for a miracle thanks for your support it means a lot! I am feeling anything though 5 days after transfer so I am guessing nothing much is happening in there  

And Kirsty hang on in there!! It's not the end of the road.

Hope I didn't miss anyone. Have a great day ladies!

QB xx


----------



## fififi

BFN for me too  - although I'd been spotting & had heavy dark brown cm for over week now part of me stupidly kept hoping all would be fine. So sad & hurt by how unfair life is. Not sure how going to move on as this ending is so far away from the one I dreamt  

Kirsty - hugs coming your way, so sorry


----------



## Moominmum

fififi: life is not fair


----------



## Sushi Lover

Oh fififi, hugs coming right back at you honey.  I can honestly say I know exactly how you feel.  Life is unfair.  Start to think what you could have done to deserve it don't you?  Absolutely nothing!

Remember today is always the lowest day and it starts to get better gradually after this

Do you think you will try again?  Or is it too soon to make that decision?  

Thanks Tiny21, moominmum and Queen_Bee for the hugs, kind words and support.

K xxx


----------



## goldbunny

massive hug kirsty and     
   massive hug fifi


----------



## Amittai

Kirsty and  fifi I am so sorry to hear your news. I wish it was different, very much.
try and surround yourselves with gentleness and calmness chooks, you've come so far already, and i hope it is all as least painful as is possible with these such hugely difficult experiences.        


thanks everyone for all the messages.


----------



## Tiny21

Fififi SO sorry to read your news today, huge       to you
Xxxxxx


----------



## Queen_Bee

Me too...Hang in there Fifi   it's a tough journey but it will get easier!

QB xx


----------



## SuperKitty

Beckxx22 – Congratulations on being PUPO!   Think you made the right decision to go ahead.

Lucky100 – you will let us know how the scan goes, won’t you? My nan DID actually eat coal when she was pregnant with my uncle, supposedly.  

Lesleylupin, Moominmum, Tigge66 – hugs, hope you’re doing ok today  

Oh Kirsty and fififi– I was thinking about you this morning, so very sorry my dears, not the news we all wanted for you.    This process is so hard, and it’s so unfair.  Hugs from Norfolk.

Queen_bee, no symptoms hopefully means your embie is just quietly burrowing and going about its business of sticking.   

Amittai – I have no bananas, but BANANA DANCE!!! What sort of exercise do you do, and how did it change as you went through the process?  I do body combat classes and a legs bums and tums class, and then a morning yoga dvd at home…I’m wondering what I might need to stop, and when I might need to stop it…hmmm.  Best to ask the clinic I guess.  So anyway, BANANA DANCE!  Who needs the full range of emoticons anyway…  

I find it really encouraging to see some BFP’s, it gives me a little tiny ray of hope, thank you.

AFM, just ticking along today, combat class this morning, then work and updating our IVF plan (ashamed to say that I have it in MS Project…I blame being an ex Project Manager!) with my daily injections so at least I feel like I’m controlling something, even if it’s only updating a plan! I noticed last night I’ve got a couple of little bruises on my belly…oh dear.  I fear it may look (more) like purple sprouting broccoli by the time we’re done…  

Hello and hugs to Salad4, De_vi, Warey, Chandlerino, Goldbunny, Urbangirl, Bannyb, Mish3434, Amkham, mememebaby, Hopeful68,Wishforamiracle, Babydreams400 and anyone else I’ve missed.    Take care everyone, thinking of you all xx


----------



## dillydolly

Super kitty

Read this
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=293797.0


----------



## SuperKitty

That's so helpful, thank you! Bookmarked it.  I'll carry on as I am for the moment then - most of it is about stress relief for me (with fitness being an added bonus!). And if I am lucky enough to get a BFP, I'll adjust accordingly (and maybe find a PT who is pre-natal trained). Thanks again


----------



## SuperKitty

Oh and I finally found the bananas (or were they always there? Durrr) so Amittai, here are the bananas for you!


----------



## bannyb

To Kirsty and Fififi, so sorry to read your posts   . I had so hoped for you both for a positive outcome. I hope you have good support at home and a good shoulder to cry on, it's such a tough game at times all this, my heart goes out to you both.


Amittai great big congratulations!     So lovely to read about your BFP    Enjoy!!


Hello to everyone else, I'm in a rush so no time for more personals (sorry) but will back soon with more. Big   to you all.


AFM I start tomorrow, yay!


----------



## Amittai

ahh thank you Superkitty and well done on the bananas, i love them!!
and i remember my mom used to always give the babies in our family (we were a lo-o-o-t of kids) mashed banana, so bananas rock even more right now!

dilly dolly, that is a fantastic thread you just posted, and I'm going to have a look at that fitpregnancy.com site for sure. You sound like a wealth of knowledge too, yay, thank you  

Superkitty, wow body combat! respect !  and those classes sound pretty hardcore. with a name like superkitty i would not have guessed about bodycombat, i like it!
Me,  i love love love running.. I'm no expert at all about any kind of sport in pregnancy but for me my main thing (at any time but especially now)  is to listen to my body. I run long distances, mostly ultras and marathons. I'm not fast, I'm a plodder but i love the serenity it gives me and its just part of my life and always has been since i was little..  I kept running up until the day before ET (but within reason of course, nothing too hectic, i didn't run a marathon the day before!)
Then after ET i stopped all together for 5 days like the doc said, just walked. then since then I've just been easy jogging - running to and from work a few times a week, just along the Thames, nice flat refreshing. It's like my morning prayers, and keeps me sane!.  but I am not at all pushing myself and keeping my heart rate  down etc,  it's pretty sedentary really
so now i am just going to take the attitude of listening to my body, keeping hydrated and eat something before a run. 
I know that eventually i wont be able to run, or I'll have to swap to walking, and that's ok.. but for now I'm still running, knowing that I will  eventually have to ween myself off it    but it will be worth it, naturally! For this, i dont mind.

Then I'll go and one day, i hope, but a nipper sport and take LO running with me!! woot woot

anywayz, that's whats worked for me.. 

i do think we are designed to be active and exercise is healthy on many levels, so as long as its done in the right way then i think its positive. but Kitty  i think its a good idea to consult with someone if it makes you feel more at peace, anything to reduce stress!
good luck Kitty and thanks Dolly  

and thanks BannyB, good luck with start tomorrow, is that start of ICSI cycle? yay, all the best...


----------



## Lucky100

Kirsty and Fifi, so sorry to see your posts. Life can be so unfair  .
I'm thinking of you both.

Lucky 100 x x


----------



## hopeful68

I have missed a few days on here and missed a few BFNs - So sorry to each of you who have had your hopes dashed again. i hope you have a good suport team around you to help you get over it, but dont forget your other halves need a bit of TLC too. we can forget how much they are involved in this too. hug each other. i hope you can move on, whether it is to another cycle, adoption or life without (where i am at the moment!!  ) 

to change tone: i beleive a couple of BFPs have happened too. thank goodness this has worked for some of you. i really hope you have good scans and the wait doesnt take too long for the scans to come around!! then you can relax and start enjoying BFP!!


----------



## fififi

Thanks everyone for your support today & over last few weeks - am a total mess so can't imagine how I'd be without your help!

Getting a BFN has hit me far harder this time than I thought it would. I guess it doesn't help that last week was the date predicted that my twins would have arrived - though the date in our head is still 9 Nov which was what we had when first got BFP. Timing our treatment now was to make that date easier. Now all I can think about is that not only am I not sat upstairs trying to settle 2 babies to sleep but it looks like I'll never have a baby of my own to hold again. We only did this cycle because the last one had gone so well and now financially (and emotionally) we are supposedly stopping. I say "supposedly" but it was meant to "be" stopping - only right now I'm so broken I feel like I can't cope with the certainty that this is it and everything we'd been aiming towards constantly for the last 3.5 years is just to be forgotten. For my relationship with DH and quite frankly the rest of the world to ever get back to normal I know we have to stop sometime and start "living" again but I guess right now I've no idea how to do that and deep down, really don't want to.
Reaching this point makes me feel even more of a failure than I did when realised we'd have to have TX to create a family. I'm surrounded by people who all have had numerous babies in last few years - including one of my sisters who's having number 8 in December!!! (I'm one of 6 kids so infertility isn't really understood by my family - making me feel even more rubbish with their flaky comments.)
I cannot begin to describe the joy I have knowing that the first 4 years of TX led to our miracle dd but equally that's made me struggle more to understand why it can't happen again. Plus she's at an age where everyone she knows has a sibling and constantly asks why she hasn't. Think she may have given up on me today as at one point she brought me a towel to "wipe my tears on"!!! It's hard enough coping with the whole world asking you whether you have a child/don't you want a child etc. but it hurts even more when I'm having to explain it to dd cos she doesn't accept the answer "we can't".

Sorry for the huge moan/sob story but I've no-one else to say it to. This process is so terrible yet even people who are my friends are totally unable to understand the true nature of  the pain I'm suffering. Just typing this has helped a little but sorry to be so negative and make everyone else reading feel sad too.

What I need now are suggestions on how to maximise my potential to conceive naturally - vitamins etc. and any pointers as to where I can get that information/support on ff. Next step is trying to achieve mission impossible via a lot of wishing and hoping to un-cork a genie!


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## Moominmum

fififi: just a quick post to say that I understand you with your DD's friends having siblings. DS is almost same age (Feb 09) and almost everyone I know from when we had him has had their number 2 now. I keep getting the question if we don't want another one all the time. If they only knew about the two mcs we've had and the recent failed IVF cycle... Just a few days ago DS asked "who his little brother was" as most of his friends at nursery seem to have a little sibling.   

I have stocked up on all sorts of vitamins and pills, most of it from this thread http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=294994.0. DO note that the list is massive and totally overwhelming but at the bottom there is a "where-to-buy" guide. I will PM you with what I have bought to not destroy this thread. More


----------



## Salad4

Fififi; Kirsty - sorry for the bad news.  
Fififi - you need to get out the heartache, and that's what we're here for.
Amittai - never feel bad about a BFP.  It's wonderful news.  Enjoy it.
Lucky100 - congratulations.  (Maybe I should rename myself Lucky, see if it works for me  )
Lesleylupin, Moominmum, Tigge66  - thinking about you guys still - hope that you are ok (or at least a little bit ok at least sometimes - one step at a time)  
Queen_Bee - positive thoughts  
Everyone else that I've missed out - hugs & thinking of all the stories on here.
Quick update from me from today - there were only three harvestable follicles and these only resulted in one egg as two were empty.  The one egg was also immature (and whilst I'm really upset about it, I can't help but giggle at the thought of my immature egg behaving sillily (how do I spell silly-ly?) with the embryologist).  So we need to regroup and work out what to do next.  Sorry for bad news.  But that should mean that there's good luck available for some of the other current cyclers.
Sallyx


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## fififi

salad -    
Thanks for saying nice things to everyone else when you've had a sh*t day too. So sorry you didn't get an embryo to transfer.

PS. I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds certain expressions funny. I too had visions of my "immature" egg messing around in the lab when told about it!!!
Well done you for finding something to smile about - not that I'm listening to own advice - but it's better to smile away problems than dwell on them


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## Moominmum

Salad: sorry to hear your bad news    but thanks for making me laugh. I could see your silly eggs in front of me when I ready your post.  

Sending you many positive thoughts for your next steps


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## hopeful68

Salad, fififi, I completely understand where you are coming from. I work on the ambulances and all the old fears ask if I have any kids. It hurts every time I have to say no..... I have a meeting with the clinic in a few weeks to discuss my letter about checking my egg quality, tests and supplements. If I find out anything useful I will post.....until the vague hope of ttc naturally is quashed I can't get on with life properly, ttc for 8+ yrs, can't imagine life with out that quest?


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## fififi

hopeful - I agree that sadly even reaching the "no more IVF/ICSI" line still doesn't really help a return to "normal life". Even today, feeling lower than low, I've avoided alcohol just in case it would spoil "chances" next month. If anything it's that monthly hope for a miracle being crushed that's the hardest part of a long TTC journey.

Between us and our reviews hopefully we'll come up with a fab way to naturally reach the miracle we deserve - albeit that our kitchen cupboards will resemble a pharmacy!!!


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## hopeful68

Just re read my last, for old fears read dears!! As in old ladies!! Bloody auto correct!


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## Sushi Lover

bannyb....  thanks for the hugs.  Luckily my OH is my rock and has been looking after me.  Good luck for today..  Are you going for your Antral Follicle Check?

Lucky100...  thank you.  Best of luck for your pregnancy.  You've given me hope at 40 years of age that it will work eventually.

Hopeful68... You are right about our other halves needing TLC as well.  He's trying to be strong for me, but is clearly very upset as well.  We are looking after each other.  I see you've had 1 go of IVF...  do you not think you'll try again?

Salad4/Sally.... thanks hun.  I'm so sorry to hear your bad news about the eggs.  Those immature ones seriously need sorting out for misbehaving eh?!  Will you try again?  Change clinics perhaps?  Stay strong.

Fififi...  sending you lots of strength to help you recover.  Never apologise for moaning on here to us.  That's what this chat room is made for.  Flaky comments really do my head in... people don't think!  Someone said to me yesterday..."oh well, at least you tried".  How rubbish that?  Another 'friend' said "at least you can go back to drinking again"..  thanks for that!  So insensitive.  Are you having acupuncture to try and help you fall naturally?  It really helps circulation, egg quality and stress relief.  You need to have it for 3 months before seeing any positive results.  Chinese herbs could also be worth looking into.  If you have one of those little Chinese herbal places in your high street go and chat with them.  I find that doing something productive helps heal the pain.

AFM...  We are going to move clinics as need to 'change something'.  Consultation booked for next week.  I hope we can try again in December.  In the meantime I have my Clearblue Fertility Monitor to track my cycles in case of a natural miracle and will stay healthy and relaxed.  Had a naughty glass of red wine last night...  first one in months!  Not going to beat myself up about it though.  I have a headache this morning... what a cheap date!  haha.


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## fififi

AFM - Feeling a little better today and less emotional - managed to phone clinic this morning to tell them it was a BFN which I just couldn't do yesterday. Hoping AF starts soon as need closure on this cycle & know that despite all negative tests there'll be extra sadness when it comes.

kirsty - thanks for the thoughts & reassurance. It is hard having told people what's happened for them to say stuff that's so meaningless to how we're feeling.
I've been having acupuncture for nearly 2 years now with fertility specialist and whilst I don't doubt it's helping me relax am not sure it has had much benefit on TTC. But like you say it's the "doing something" that probably has the best effect.
Not sure about Chinese herbs as seem to find lots of contradictory information about them when considered in the past. But am going to up vitamins & possibly try DHEA if my consultant thinks it's worth a shot.
- Is your consultation at new clinic next week? We changed clinic 18 months ago and it definitely gave us a more optimistic outlook. 
- Good on you for relaxing with wine - at least you waited until the evening!!! I'm not sure I'd even need a whole glass to get ill effects now!!! Hope today is a little brighter for you  

Hi to everyone else - am bit out of sinc with where everyone is cycle wise right now but sending babydust    and huge amounts of hope     to everyone xxx


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## Sushi Lover

Hi fifi, I'm glad you feel slightly better today.  It's amazing what a little time can do isn't it?  Yes, you'll have a little emotional blip when AF sadly arrives as I think we keep hold of some tiny piece of hope until then.    I'm feeling your sadness lovie.

People just don't know what to say I suppose.  I find it helps when people are more matter-of-fact and offer possible solutions or snippets of advice you may not have thought of.  It's the inane, insensitve comments that make me angry.  

With acupuncture...  I switched to a different acupuncturist as I didn't feel the first lady was helping enough..  she used to chatter all the way through it for a start!  Anyway, I know go to a lovely Chinese lady who is trying different pressure points.  She focusses more on my back than front.  It's human nature to feel you want lots of needles in the tummy area as that's where the problem is, but she's focussing on my whole pelvis, bottom, hips as feels the tension and problems with nerve endings are causing an issue.  It was odd at first, but the first thing I noticed after a few months was the warmth in my stomach, which was chilly before.  Also I used to have such freezing cold feet and that has improved.  Just a thought, you may want to try another therapist?

I know what you mean about the Chinese herbs..  the jury is out on those.  I got more cysts popping up after trying them which upset my estrogen levels.  So than can do more harm than good.  I think that DHEA has a bit of contradictory info as well actually.  Defo check with your consultant.  My last one wasn't keen.

What we are doing is swapping the consultant to one where we had our last egg collection and transfer.  My local clinic only does the bloods, scans and consultations... then you go to Central London for the lab bits.  We've decided to transfer entirely to the London clinic.  I just got a better vibe from there for some reason.  

K xx

p.s. I was a bit light-headed after 2 sips!!  Incredible how pure our bodies become by cutting out alcohol.


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## SuperKitty

Bannyb – good luck for today, what were you starting?

Amittai – I LOVE combat, I’ve been doing it nearly 10 years now.  I used to run but my poor old knees can’t cope with it any more..but I know what you mean about it being like your morning prayer.  It used to feel like meditation after a certain point in the run.

Fififi – glad to hear you’re feeling a little better today.  Hope AF arrives soon so that, like you say, you can get a bit of closure on this cycle.  I think no-one really knows what to say ..I’ve got one friend who spent the whole of my last cycle saying ‘I KNOW this is going to work, you’re going to be such a wonderful mummy, I can FEEL it’…by the 50th time, I just wanted to scream at her.  I haven’t told her about this cycle.    I think people just find it difficult to know what to say sometimes, so some truly cringey stuff comes out.  Try not to let it get to you, only you know how you feel and what you need.  And you are NOT a failure.  

Salad – is it bad that you made me laugh out loud with your immature egg?   Good on you for finding some humour (even if it's black) in the situation.  I’m so sorry.  Do you know what  you’re going to do next? 

Kirsty, hope you’re doing ok – and good news about changing clinics, where are you going to?  Hope the consultation goes well.  I hadn’t heard about the Chinese herbs before we went to CARE, but they specifically say in their literature that you shouldn’t use them…don’t know why though?  

AFM, we completed on our new house today so DH is very excited about having a celebratory glass of champagne tonight (he asked me it if was alright to have just one glass, bless him!)  I can’t bring myself to do it though, just in case it jinxes something – even though I’m sure it’ll make no difference at all.  Apple juice for me then! I’ve started to have some cracking headaches the last few days…did anyone else who used Suprecur for DR get bad headaches with it?  I’m drinking 2 litres of water a day but wondering if there’s anything else ‘natural’ I can do to manage them without taking painkillers?  

Hi to everyone else!  Hope you’re all having a good day.


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## hopeful68

Kirsty, one go only. Self funded, now skint so no choice... Not sure my emotions could do it again let alone my body!!


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## LellyLupin

Hi Fifi & Kirsty so sorry to hear your news I totally understand how you feel.  We are currently away for a few days to relax and I am trying to 'brave face' it and struggling a little bit.  I am okish during the day but at night when I am trying to sleep it haunts me.  All day I have been seeing newborns, its so strange how you notice more when you are not TXing.  I have had a little cry when DP hasn't been in the room, today was definitely better than yesterday so I am hoping things will get better.  I am doing things to move on and have deleted my list of baby names off my computer and threw away all my ivf info and spare drugs.  I did draw the line at DP talking about our new future yesterday, its just too soon for me to be discussing a childless future when it hasn't sunk in properly yet.

Fifi you must feel so under pressure coming from such a large family  .  I am one of four and the others all have children, I was always the one who had pets instead and they think I have never wanted children.  I know I can now have a selfish life of doing my own thing, but I can't get my head around no family at the moment.  So Fifes hang in there and cherish the little miracle handing you a towel,  you are so so lucky to have her, however it must drive you and Moomin mad when people ask why they are only children, people can be so very very insensitive xx

Happy new house Superkitty  , hopefully you will soon have a new family to bring some noise into it  

Sally so sorry to hear your news and so brave of you to find some humour in there   xx

Ammitai my 8 months pregnant cousin is still doing half marathons and has ran all through out her pregnancy, so you don't necessarily have to give it up.  My cousins Mum also ran right up until my cousin was born, all with the blessing of her doctor so keep on running if it makes you feel happy xx

Hello to De_vi, Warey, Chandlerino, Goldbunny, Urbangirl, Bannyb, Mish3434, Amkham, mememebaby, Hopeful68, Wishforamiracle and babydreams, hope I haven't missed anyone xx


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## Chandlerino

Sending you a   Lesley x

last ugalutran shot done thank god as it really hurt. Glad I don't have to do anymore - don't how you ladies cope with doing loads of injections. I'm was fine with the pens but needles and syringes - hideous!

trigger shot at 9pm so 45 mins to go - hope this is the last time I do all this - it will be as I can't face anymore IVF and it taking over my life. 

Haven't ruled out DE but for now this is it.

Sorry for the me post - down in the dip of the IVF rollercoaster xx


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## Moominmum

Chandlerino: good luck for tomorrow!    

fififi, Lesley,  Kirsty: hope that life is a little bit better today  

Amittai, Lucky: hope the little beans are growing well and that you are feeling okay  

Everyone else (sorry for lack of personals - next time!) big  hugs 

AFM, I am soon off for my follow-up and have prepared with many questions.


  

Moominmum


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## Chandlerino

Well a slight turn of events [possibly!] Reprofit have agreed to donor eggs as back up in case I don't retrieve any or mine do not fertilise. I feel happy that there is a back up plan - its a long way to come to have nothing transferred. Let alone being away for the whole of DD's half term holiday.

Since I found out that I had such a low number of follicles its clear to me that its pointless trying again with my own eggs so this would have been my last OE cycle.

Hope you are all ok xxx


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## goldbunny

best luck chandlerino


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## Queen_Bee

Hi all, 

Chandlerino that is so exiting!  

I am 4 days away from my test date and have NO SYMPTOMS so I think it's a negative for me. I have been pregnant before (miscarriage) but I knew I was pregnant even before I tested. This time I can't feel anything at all so I am feeling quite negative and angry with the world  

I have to take 3 injections (I am surprised when I drink water it doesn't leak out of me!) daily and quite a few pills too and I feel like throwing them all away. Of course I won't, but the frustration is really getting to me today. I just feel like I have left it all too late and it's never going to work, but then I read stories of women pregnant at 44, 46 (my great grandmother being one of them) and I think to myself surely there is a chance. 

Anyway, apologies for this self-pitious self- centered entry/rant  but I don't have anyone to talk to about how I feel. It's such a lonely place, and I feel like I am going crazy. I told my boyfriend I was feeling a bit flat today and he said it's always at this stage I start to lose it - he things I am a bit  


Anyway...Salad thanks for making me laugh about the immature eggs that was cute. And the rest of you I hope you're all having a good day. Lots of love gold bunny, Chandlerino, Mooninmum, Lesley, Super Kitty,  De_vi, Warey,  Urbangirl, Bannyb, Mish3434, Amkham, mememebaby, Hopeful68, Wishforamiracle and babydreams

Queen Bee xx


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## Moominmum

QB: don't give you - you don't know yet!    

Some self-pitying from me then... Have just come back from the follow-up meeting and it was the most depressing meeting ever. I have never felt so low. I had hoped that DH would want another go after the meeting, but after this I don't think so and I am doubting myself. But I so wanna join this thread again. Can they really tell everything after one cycle? I have no idea what to think and what to do next. 

Hope that you all are having a better day than I do.


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## goldbunny

moominmamma, they can't. but they have to be realistic. from their point of view, a (say) 5% chance is hardly any chance at all and it would be immoral of them to imply otherwise. From the 'childless' person side of it, a 5% chance is a lifeboat in a sea of despair. it's all about perspective. When they saw i had an antral follicle count this time of about 2, they hauled me into the consultants office to drone on about donor eggs again, we left very despondant. But i'm 11 days into my 2ww using my own eggs..


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## bannyb

Queenbee hang on in there, each pregnancy is different so you don't know yet.    for you.


Moominmum, sorry the meeting didn't go so well. Take some time to think it all through, you'll know what to do in time. After my last m/c I was adamant that I couldn't cope with any more and that would be that, but here we are doing it again! It's a confusing roller coaster at the best of times, but take time and talk it all through with DH.   


Chandlerino, loads of luck with everything, great that you've got the DE back up, lucky you   


Goldbunny, loads of luck for OTD when it arrives   


AFM I'm feeling so low, I spent half the night crying on DH    Two of my friends have just told me they're pregnant again, and another 3 are just starting to try for their second, none of them have fertility problems and all fell fairly quickly first time round. So I am going to be surrounded by friends all with new babies next year. I just don't know how I'm going to cope. I feel so sad about my m/c again as would have been due in January and I am just feeling so miserable. My ray of light is DS who is just beautiful and I feel so guilty for feeling miserable about it all when I am so lucky to have him. 


Sorry for the me post, I even feel guilty about posting it, feeling very sorry for myself, sorry


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## Moominmum

GB: firstly        for you!     

I know what you mean and I appreciate that. I just feel like I've been punched in the face. Firstly, I was told that being 42, 75% get blastocyst embryos - is that really the case? - so that I didn't was a big warning sign. I was always under the impressions that too fast stimming could worsen the quality of the eggs and I did respond quickly. In fact I had no merional, Gonal-F or growth hormone after 7 days of stimming and the consultant did tell me they would prob lower my dosage with a third should we try again to have a slower and longer stimming period. Still it was all about the bad quality about my eggs (although he said that the bad quality in the embryos prob came from both eggs and sperm but he seemed to not talk about the sperm later)...

babbyb:    

Sorry this is not the right thread for this - does anyone know a better thread?

Sending some baby dust to everyone


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## Chandlerino

Bannyb and moominmum - I have been in the same place as both of you. If you are not happy with your follow up then get a second opinion at another clinic. Clinics see things in black and white and in my experience some of them are happy for you to carry on until you decide to stop or give you the DE talk. I have had different advice from 3 different clinics - its all about perspective.

Its a personal decision on where to go next but give yourself time to decide your next steps. You will know which path you want to take.

Moominmum - blasts % - I dont get that - not everyone gets to blast and not everyone gets frosties at any age and thats fact.

QB - hang on in there its not OTD yet and every pregnancy is different xx

Each pregnancy anouncement for last 5 years has been hard especially after my last mc which really messed with my head. Sending you all lots of cyber


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## dillydolly

Moominmum
I would have said that 75% getting blast embryos at 42 is very wrong. If that was the case surely more 42 year olds would be pregnant! Which clinic are you at?


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## Moominmum

Thanks for all kind words peeps.  

After making some chocolate muffins with Nutella I am now feeling better. I think I was just a bit shocked about the "bluntness" in the meeting. Made me feel so crap but maybe that is what i needed yo hear?

I am at CRGH in London. I am not sure what he meant and I might have misunderstood it. I was not at my sharpest I have to admit.

Anyway, I am hoping to read some positive news in this thread!


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## LellyLupin

Hi Chandlerino thanks for the hug.  I hope it works out for you this time, you seem to have been on this rollercoaster ride forever, so glad you have a backup planxx

QB don't lose heart, I am sure Lucky said she had no symptoms either and she got a BFP, chin up girl this could be the 'one'  .  You have us lot to talk to you are not on your own with no-one to offload to, we have all been there so know this is the point everyone goes a bit loopy  

Moomin I haven't even rang my clinic to say I got a BFN so I admire you for being brave enough to go for your follow up. I am deliberately avoiding mine so I don't get the bad eggs talk.  I don't agree with the blast comment either I think thats bull.  Its always doom and gloom for us oldies but some of us do fall pregnant so there must be hope.  Truth is the doctors just don't know, its a lottery and they are not God or fate.  Listen to your Auntie Gold bunny and not the doctors I think they are all just guessing xx

Bannyb you feel how you feel, so get it all out there it will help.    Everyone feels like this at some point and whether you already have a child or not, its all personal to you so don't ever feel guilty about how you feel,  sending you some      


Lots of love and   to everyone xx


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## fififi

Firstly BIG HUGS required all round   

moom - sorry the review didn't go well. It is very soon to have gone and your hormones & emotions are still very fragile. I've booked review in 10 days time and bit unsure whether even that will be too soon - will see how well I cope with weekend and possibly rebook for later on.
I agree with the others that there's no way 75% of over 40s get to blasts - on my last review with quite an "up to date / well informed" consultant he was really pleased I'd made it to blasts and said it was unusual that an older woman would do that.
I always find that when I get home I always think of lots of things I wish I'd asked - despite having list of Qs prepared. Plus I over analyse everything that was said and read too much into smaller points. Right now is early days for anyone to know whether they 100% think they could cycle again - my clinic advises 2-3 months break for that reason. But so you are able to feel bit proactive in changing your future it may be you are hoping for another cycle in which case you'd want to know the clinic was behind you and what THEY would change to give you better results next time. It's normal that a first cycle is a bit of a trial as how your body responds is so individual - it seems to me pretty poor that your clinic didn't highlight that. Don't give up hope and know that if you and DH do decide to try again there's plenty of clinics who will do their best to help you.

As far as threads to post on I guess we all need to move somewhere soon once no longer "current cyclers". Perhaps we could start a new thread on the over 40s page - anyone else interested?

lesley - hi hun, hope you are doing okay. You make sure you keep looking after you cos you deserved better and need to take time to grieve the cr*p hand you were dealt   

chandlerino - the DE back up option sounds really good news, though obviously hoping you don't need it    
It's hard when you feel you're doing things for your own benefit and DD is potentially missing out but remember it's not a huge amount of time and normally I bet your DD gets far more of your time than most other families give their kids.
Lots and lots of good wishes and babydust for EC    

bannyb -     - as you know from my posts cycling following mc is so, so hard - right now you are full of hormones which are making your emotions go all over the place. TX is never easy and especially when there's so much riding on it and all around others seem to be dropping babies with no effort at all. I know only too well how hard that is but equally those friends will never appreciate how fantastic their DS/DD is in the way you do.
There's a good chance that you will be joining them with your own pg announcement soon so keep believing and know you can do it    

goldbunny - thinking of you and hoping those little embies are snuggling in tightly     

queenbee - if your Gran can do it so can YOU!!! The 2ww is so, so hard and you're at the worst bit of it. On my BFP cycle I had no symptoms at all and cried myself to sleep the night before getting a shock positive. Keep believing - it CAN happen     

superkitty - congrats on new house, very exciting. Lets hope that you won't be drinking the next lot of celebratory champagne either   
I also got really bad headaches on suprecur - aside from water & paracetamol there's not a lot I can suggest. For me they eased after first 5/6 days

kirsty - how are you doing? Hope you have found things to occupy your mind today. Sending you lots of extra hugs to help you through the weekend    

hi and extra hugs to De-vi, urbangirl, hopeful, wishforamiracle, babydreams and ammitai    

AFM: Had a better day emotionally. AF started, so whilst that comfirmed what I already knew at least I feel happier knowing body isn't too haywire with drug induced hormones. Finally saw GP again re my cough and he raised concerns that there'sa possibility it could be whooping cough!!!!! Can't help wondering if my body used all it's energy blocking whatever this is and raising immune system instead of helping embies bed in? Anyway can't help that now and since cough only got bad after EC it wouldn't have been worth stopping cycle as embies weren't good enough to freeze. Have antibiotics for now and will wait and see if they work or whether it could indeed be whooping cough.


----------



## Lucky100

Hi Queen Bee, Lesley is right, I had no symptoms and got a BFP, so fingers crossed, don't give up yet. Also, I remember reading about other women on here who had more than one BFP and had some or no symptoms each time.

Moominmum sorry to hear about your consultation  . Thanks for asking after me...I'm doing ok but worrying constantly about the scan which is not until nov 5th.

Hi to all the other ladies and a big group hug  

Lucky 100


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## fififi

Lucky - just realised I forgot to say hi to you!!! Wasn't intentional but brain not working well at mo - actually it never worked great!!!
Hope you're doing okay and enjoying rubbing that belly and smiling    
The wait for scan I found harder than 2ww - try to keep yourself occupied and have few treats too xxx


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## Queen_Bee

Good evening  

I loved reading all your good wishes, thanks so much! I feel a little calmer now...had a nap this afternoon and felt a bit better. I have been sleeping badly and I think that doesn't help matters...I need to take it a step at a time, and if it doesn't work cross that bridge at the time. 

I met with my mum today and I told her I was concerned it hadn't worked and she said that we can always try again (she is paying for this cycle as I have run out of funds after 4 failures) and that egg donation is a back-up. At my last appointment I was told ED wasn't relevant for me a this stage because my levels were OK but I guess time will tell...I have mixed feelings about egg donation but I think it's amazing that we even have the option! And ultimately if we become mums the child we have will be the one for us, I really believe that.

Moom, I am not sure about percentage of blasts at 42. I think the whole thing is a lottery. I have had beautiful blasts that came to nothing so I am not sure they can tell much from them anyway. 

Lucky I am sure your scan will be fine I am praying for you that it's all ok.

I am going to bed to read now and I am happy it's the weekend, it's somehow a little easier to distract myself when people are off work.

Hugs to all 

Queen Bee xxxxx


----------



## wishforamiracle

QB Good luck sweetheart thinking of you...... that 2ww is a bugger hang on in there .... and give us that BFP    
i think at 42 to have 75% blasto's is RUBBISH and sperm issues def come into it as thats our problem ...... i think the stimming perhaps makes a difference too
I have never had any frosties and i had my DD.... so dont give up hope
MC's are the absolute pits ..... shockers really as we are all concerned about the difficulty in getting pregnant .... feel for you and multiple  
Its a pity we can't tape all the reviews as in a shocked emotional state sometimes its difficult to remember or at least get a info letter ..... been there too
and i have to say seeing others have babies is hard some days more than others i had to really visualize my future goal.....
perhaps we can start a new thread for us fabulous 40's 
    hope tomorrow is a good day and i'm with everyone of you ladies as a cheerleader (im sooo many hours behind lol in the US) for all you lovely ladies xx


----------



## Chandlerino

Whoop whoop back from egg collection and they got 4 eggs!!!!!! No need for back up option - I had about 2 hrs sleep last night worrying about it. 

Now have to wait to see what they do in the dish!   they're getting jiggy with it  

The only worrying thing is I started spotting this morning but the Dr said that the lining looked perfect so they have me on progesterone injections, pessaries and estrogen.

Sorry for the me post but off to bed now xxx


----------



## Shell42

Great news Chandlerino let's hope the magic happens. 

I last posted here on 16 October when I had my first scan and counted 12 follicles which the hospital were amazed by as previous tests indicated very poor ovarian reserve. Since then had 6 eggs collected, 4 fertilised and three were grade 2 and the forth a grade 3. Had 2 transferred yesterday and now in waiting. Have read conflicting advice about bed rest following transfer. Stayed in bed yesterday and today but really bored now, but then again don't want to do anything to risk implantation. 

Queen bee I am keeping everything crossed for you xxxx


----------



## LellyLupin

Eggse llent news Chandlerino this could be the one!!!


----------



## goldbunny

shell a little gentle exercise will help get blood flowing, just avoid anything that involves things like bending lifting or raising your heart rate a lot. walking around the garden or shops is fine! there's only so much time you can spend in bed.


----------



## Queen_Bee

Shell I read somewhere that you shouldn't carry anything heavier than a credit card  

And was told to take it easy and not do anything I would later regret. So I am walking up to 10-15 minutes to go to the post office or bus stop but otherwise staying at home - doing some work, reading, watching tv, calling friends...
I am quite restless by nature so I find this hard but it's only for a short period of time so I think it's worth it

Good luck! And Chandlerino fingers crossed for you to get fantastic embryos!

QB xx


----------



## Moominmum

Chandlerino: great news - woohoo!      

Shell: well done!   

fififi & wishforamiracle: I'd be joining a new thread for us fabulous 40s! I can look into it tomorrow (leaving the house soon) and post the link here.  

Everyone in the cycle


----------



## Shell42

Gold bunny and Queenbee I like the sound of your advice. Think a spot of retail therapy is in order tomorrow!

Thanks Moominmum x


----------



## Salad4

Still processing the fact that this last cycle failed, but congratulations on the eggs Chandlerino  .  I'll be keeping my fingers crossed (but nothing else as we'll be ttc naturally this cycle  ) for you and Shell (and everyone else who is waiting).
QB    for the 2ww.
Moomin - Sounds like you were really strong in your follow up, given how the clinic handled it.  I'm delaying calling the clinic about my follow up, as I think I'll find it a bit hard too.  When I'm ready to pick myself up and dust myself down, I'll get it sorted out.  I hope that you're feeling a bit better now.
fiffi - hope you're feeling better too.
Positive thoughts to everyone on the thread - Sally


----------



## Moominmum

Lovely, lovely ladies.

Just to say that I have just created a thread for us who have had a BFN. I have found you all such a lovely group and without the support I would have been in a much worse state that I am in. 

Please join in http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=296557.0

I will of course continue to check this thread to read about how everyone is getting on and I am hoping to see great news! 

Moominmum


----------



## Chandlerino

Whoop whoop 100% fertilisation!

We now have 4 embryos!

Never had more than 2 before so delighted - hope they can hang on


----------



## goldbunny

great news chandler


----------



## Moominmum

Fab news Chandlerino!


----------



## Chandlerino

Lovely idea for the new thread Moo - once you get a BFN there's nowhere else to go but hope you will still post in here too xxxx


----------



## Queen_Bee

HELP! I am due to test on Wednesday and I just went to the loo and I am spotting  

I called the emergency number at the hospital and they said to call them tomorrow with an update and that it could be my period but not necessarily.

Has anyone had something like this happen? When I was pregnant I spotted and then miscarried...it's not much blood so far (like a generous nose bleed) and it's red... Damn...how annoying...

Advice would be appreciated..

QB x


----------



## Moominmum

QB: didn't want to read this and just run away. Just sending you    . There are many stories of people having had spotting and everything turned out to be fine.


----------



## Queen_Bee

Thanks Moominmum xx


----------



## bannyb

Thanks so much for your support everyone    I'm feeling a bit better now, I guess times like that are to be expected. I'm trying to focus on being positive for this round again.


Chandlerino that's such great news to log on and read! Sending those embies lots of positive vibes    and hope they continue to develop well and all goes successfully   


Sally, hope you're doing OK? Sending big   


Sell, loads of luck with everything, hope the 2 ww whizzes past!   


Queen bee, so sorry to hear you're spotting, I know it's worrying, but it might be normal early pregnancy spotting. Did you have 2 embies transferred? Sometimes with ivf one snuggles in and the other doesn't causing bleeding, some ladies just bleed anyway in early pregnancy. Sending a big    and hope it stops for you.   all is well.


Hello Moominmum, Lesley, wishforamiracle, Goldbunny, fififi, dillydolly, Superkitty and everyone else! Hope you've all had a great wkend   to everyone


----------



## Queen_Bee

Thanks Banny B
Yes, I had 3 embryos transfered but I spotted when I miscarried (not IVF) so I am really worried now  
Oh well, I guess if it's bad news at least I won't have to wait until Wednesday...

xx


----------



## Salad4

Queen Bee - can't offer you any advice, but I'll keep my fingers crossed & send you


----------



## fififi

QB -    
Afraid I can't bring positive news as my spotting/bleed experience during 2ww was quite bit more than you and went on over several days. But wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you as anything other than no symptoms is always very worrying when on 2ww - I went into mega panic and was so upset when had bleed 8 days before OTD. That said I did lots of searching on here and via Google and it does seem that LOTS of ladies bleed at this stage and get BFP and have no problems later in pg - those on here I checked the signature and followed though posts just to check!!!
Try not to stress too much (easy for me to say, I know!) and will be crossing fingers & toes that it's not an issue for you, just "normal" early pregnancy bleeding and it's DEFINITELY not to do with mc at this stage     

bannyb - glad to see you'rre feeling little bit more positive. Keep on believing      

Chandlerino - CONGRATS on the 4 embies     - will be thinking of you and hoping they continue to develop in the fab way they've begun     

salad - hugs to you     - hope you start feeling less pain this week

shell - hope you managed some retail therapy to indulge yourself and have succeeded in relaxing lots. Wishing you lots of luck in 2ww    

moominmum - have "joined" the next steps thread you so thoughtfully started for us - thanks  

everyone else - hellos and hugs    

AFM - survived the weekend relatively okay. Even managed to go shopping today and not cry or turn into emotional wreak each time baby/pregnant lady nearby - though as ever after BFN there were swarms of babies & pg ladies in town following me!!! Am considering ditching the vitamins and spending the money on cigarettes & alcohol instead cos so many of the pg ladies with bump plus several young kids seemed to be smoking and generally in hungover state!!! (Perhaps this is where I've been going wrong all this time!!!)


----------



## LellyLupin

QB   praying that its pregnancy spotting xx

Fifi hmm good idea Ialso think as well as the smoking and drinking we should all try eating junk found, swearing and being very loud as most of the pregnant 'ladies' I see with a tribe of kids seem to follow this process and knock kids out by the dozen!!


----------



## BECKY7

Hey QB  it could be late implanation spotting  and am sure it will calm down sooner
X


----------



## fififi

lesley - I totally agree with your additions to my list. Perhaps we could start new clinic called "Bad Habits"  - like you the women I've observed with hoards of kids all seem to drink, smoke, shout, swear & eat junk food so I think this could be a real winner    (I wonder if I could suggest these lifestyle changes when I go for my review?!!    )


----------



## goldbunny

ladies...friends... 


THE BUNNY IS DELIGHTED TO CAUTIOUSLY ANNOUNCE

we are  
beee Efff PEEEEEEEE!

at 42, with my own eggs.

given that i have 'unexplained infertility' though, i am very nervous, it's possible i have miscarried early without knowing when i was younger and the statistics are not in my favour... but still. we have Hope. and that is most definitely something!! 

there have been so many BFNs this month i was not expecting me to be one of the BFPs!! it's a real shock. they only gave me about a 5% chance of it working... 

guess dreams can come true!

    

taking it one day at a time though, can't think ahead. 

good morning everyone and i hope you all have a good day xxx


----------



## bannyb

Oh wowee!    Fabulous news Goldbunny, CONGRATULATIONS! Totally understand your caution but enjoy!! Have some dancing bananas and things in celebration!      spin


----------



## Chandlerino

Goldbunny - congratulations!

May yours be the first of many


----------



## Salad4

Congratulations goldbunny - fantastic news


----------



## Sushi Lover

Hello ladies,

Sorry I went off the radar... needed some time away to think of other things.  This TTC lark can really take over your life!

Goldbunny....  many congrats!!  You must be over the moon and it gives me hope to try again at 40 with my own eggs and get a BFP next time.

Fififi.... Glad you survived the weekend.  It's a struggle isn't it?  We had to go to christening yesterday.  Sigh..  anything baby related is tough.

Queen_Bee...  try not to panic about the spotting.  Could be implantation bleed or decidual bleed (when part of the lining comes away at usual period date, but the part where the egg has implanted stays put - google it).  The bleeding could also be one of the embroys hasn't made it, but the others have! Stay positive!

Shell42...  best of luck in your 2WW.  Try not to stay in bed too long as you need to get your blood circulating.  Nice gentle walking.  No housework!!

Salad4/Sally.... It's hard to get your head around a failed cycle isn't it?  I feel exactly the same.  Spending so much energy thinking about 'what could have been' and that I can't believe it didn't work.  It's such a waste of energy!  I'm trying to focus on next steps now ... what's in the past is done.  Not worth analysing it over and over again.  Will send us crazy!!

Chanderlino... That is fantastic news!!  How are your embryos looking this morning?  Best of luck for your transfer tomorrow.

Moominmum..... Thanks for setting up the new thread...  I will definitely join.  Feel a bit of a fraud joining in with the 'current cyclers' thread now. haha.  Those choc muffins with nutella sound lush!  Those consultants can be so blunt can't they?  Sometimes I wonder if they realise they are destroying hopes and dreams.  I agree with the other girls though...  75% is total b*lls*it !!!

Bannyb...  how are you feeling after the weekend?  It's awful be surrounded by pregnant ladies and newborns.  I know the feeling.  Will you try again?  Or TTC naturally instead?  Is your DS giving you lots of cuddles to help?  He must be your lifesaver.

Lesley...  how are you lovie?  Have you decided to book your follow-up appt yet?  Those 'bad egg lectures' do my head in.  I think we've all had them and yet ladies in their 40's get pregnant all the time.  I'm not sure just how relevant it is these days?!  Do they use it as an excuse?

Hello to all the other girls on this thread...  K xx


----------



## Queen_Bee

Wow Goldbunny!! Way to go!! 

Thanks everyone for your comments, as you can imagine I am going a bit  

My spotting has stopped, this morning there was a brownish trace so hopefully no more spotting...
I don't know what is going to happen but I guess at least something is happening...

In bed today, my boyfriend just served me breakfast in bed and then said "would mylady want anything else?" pretending to be a butler from Downtown Abbey   He also went to the loo and came back saying "Oh no!! I am spotting!!" Which made me laugh  

Anyway, not much longer to wait now...either way I can't wait

Queen Bee x


----------



## Moominmum

GB: amazing news - congratulations!!!   

QB: great to hear your update. Try not to worry (I know, easy to say).     Your bf sounds sweet


----------



## Chandlerino

2 x grade 1 embies (1 x 4 cell, 1 x 3 cell)
2 x 2 cell average embies

transfer tomorrow at 12 before my flight leaves at 1705!

QB - laughter is good for the embies x


----------



## LellyLupin

Gold Bunny Wahooooo thats brilliant news                         Just relax and enjoy it. xxx


----------



## Tiny21

Goldbunny, fabulous news, so good to read some good news, gives us all a bit of hope, I am seriously worried about my egg quality with our fertilisation results this time (2 from 7) and still hanging in there for testing Sunday, brilliant news. 
xxxxx


----------



## de_vi

gold bunny, fab news!! congratulations!!!


----------



## hopeful68

congrats gold bunny - hope for us all......


----------



## Queen_Bee

I spoke to the doctor about the spotting and she said it could be a side effect of taking Clexane (blood thinner)...and it has stopped so I am not worried anymore. 

I am back in my negative head thinking it hasn't worked though!  

Hope you're all having a nice evening

QB x


----------



## fififi

Goldbunny - wahhhoooo     
So pleased for you!

Chandlerino - lots and lots of positive wishes that ET goes smoothly for you tomorrow      - amazing what changes a few days can bring. Safe flight back  

Tiny - try to stay positive, you're at the hardest part of 2ww now. Remember that only a week ago you weren't even sure you'd have an embryo to transfer and here you are with 2 potential little ones on board       

QB - glad spotting has stopped and you're feeling little less stressed once more. Thoughts are still with you and hoping it's good news on Weds - try and get that PMA back cos it's not long now       

bannyb - hope you're still doing okay    

Hellos & hugs to kirsty, salad, lesley, hopeful, di-vi, lucky, moomimum and anyone else still popping by


----------



## LellyLupin

Not long to go now QB    glad your bleeding has stopped  

Chandler congrats on being PUPO!!!!! XXXXX

Hello everyone else hope you are all ok


----------



## Lucky100

Congratulations gold bunny, fantastic news! Well done you.   good luck!

Hi to everyone, as I'm not checking in as often, I really can't keep up any more! But I am wishing you all much love and luck as you go through your journeys.

I will post on Monday next week after my scan.

Love to all,
Lucky 100


----------



## kagee

Hi all. So good to read and be able to share here. Thank you ladies. 
I'm now 40 and a half. Second try at IVF at Guys. Started Nafarelin on 9 Oct. Hate taking it. Tastes horrible and gives me sore sinuses and a slight headache. On 23rd had scan and started Menopur 300ml. DH gives me the injections at 11pm each night and I'm now on half the dose of Nafarelin. Having mild headaches, mild nausea, feeling rubbish. Anxiety is high. Scan on Weds (Halloween), only two more sleeps to find out how my follicles are doing. DH hasn't told work yet that he'll need either Fri or Mon off to come to the EC with me. Just adds to the stress a bit. Two MCs last year, the second one was on my wedding day. Both pregnancies from IUI on Clomid. Wishing you all good luck.


----------



## bannyb

QB glad the spotting has stopped and your GP put your mind at rest    Nearly OTD now, lots of     


Chandlerino that's great news on the embies, hope all goes well tomorrow, sounds like a hectic day! Sending lots of      your way


Hi Kagee, sorry to hear about your losses, particularly on your wedding day, must have been so hard balancing such joy with such sadness. Wishing you lots of luck for this round and   for a positive result 


Hi fififif, I'm doing much better now thanks   Hope you're doing OK    


 to everyone


----------



## wishforamiracle

Hi ladies
            Biggest congrats to goldbunnyhow wonderful you give us all hope !!!!!
QB not long now glad your spotting has stopped and i really hope this is a BFP for you..... Chandlerino you have had a long journey lady and now  4 embryo's is wonderful and fingers crossed your transfer went smoothly anf you get your BFP x   and to all you lovely ladies hello and hope all is going well no matter where you are at.........and welcome Kagee this thread ia awesome ...sorry you had a really rough time ...heres to a good TX and a BFP for you......


----------



## Queen_Bee

Morning ladies  

I feel like a real fool. I tested at home a day early and it's a faint line, so reading online there are one million reasons why faint lines occur that have nothing to do with pregnancy. So now I am more stressed than I was before! Why is life so complicated?  

I guess I will find out for sure tomorrow when I go for my blood test, but out if interest has this happened to any of you? I am prepared for the worst by the way or a chemical pregnancy after the spotting on Sunday...

Queen Bee


----------



## Chandlerino

QB

I had faint lines and was pregnant don't give up yet. Tomorrow's blood test will tell you whether you are or not and you will deal with whatever happens - you are a strong lady xx

Thinking of you chick xx


----------



## BECKY7

Hey queen bee  I knew that spotting was late implanter and now you got faint line  woo hoo and I am pretty sure Tom or thur it will get darker but good idea to have a blood tests to confirm it and have progestrone test too.
Chandlerino  good luck with your sweetie and safe flying  and am pretty sure your leg is shave for ET lol    xx
Becky7 xx


----------



## Chandlerino

Becky           

yes I am prepared


----------



## LellyLupin

QB        sounds like a BFP to me xxxxx


----------



## Sushi Lover

QB...  a faint line is a good thing isn't it?!  Sounds like it's an early BFP honey!!!

Chandlerino...  best of luck with transfer.  You must be really excited.  I always find it so emotional seeing the little embryos on the screen before they go back in.  Crossed fingers for you.

Becky7, Tiny21, de_vi...  how are your 2WWs going?  Any symptoms?

wishforamiracle...  we are trying naturally for a bit too before the next IVF  Do you have one of those Clearblue Fertility Monitors?  They are really good for predicting 'high' days as well as ovulation days.  I found it really useful.

Welcome to Kagee...  you really have been through the mill lovie.  How awful on your wedding day to experience a MC.  You poor thing.  Best of luck with your follicle check on Wednesday!!

K xx


----------



## Moominmum

QB: sounds good to me!


----------



## Queen_Bee

I don't know...I have read it could be an 'evaporation line' but I have done plenty of tests and I have never had a faint line...
I also don't have any symptoms so I don't want to get too excited...I am feeling very nervous actually...


----------



## Sushi Lover

From the hundreds of tests I've done over the years I can't remember ever having an evaporation line QB!  I don't think they are that common.

Crossed fingers, legs, toes for you  

K x


----------



## Queen_Bee

thanks Kirsty xxx


----------



## bannyb

Sounds like a BFP to me too QB! Congrats! Evap lines only happen after the 10min window so I'm sure yours sounds like a positive... Woohoo!     


Keep them coming ladies!


----------



## urbangirl

Not posting much because 'life' is getting , in the way but  a quick one for QB, for my last pregnancy the line was so faint i thought it must be a line on the other side showing through, but it wasn't, and it got darker and darker so I am sure yours is a bfp.  (Mine only got as far as a heartbeat and 6 weeks, but that was before I knew I was dealing with MF, you don't have that so for sure it's a strong'un!)              Whoopee!!! Lucky you!  & congrats to Goldbunny          & ?     (I know I've missed someone but it won't let me go back far enough to see who it is! but congrats to you too!!!), wow, so many bfp's together, this is fantastic!  

Chandlerino- good luck, I'm sure you're in good hands there.      Is it really really cold there, or is it just the UK having a winter blitz?
Becky- how are you doing?
WFAM- are you doing IUI's now?
Hi to all!


----------



## Tiny21

I keep reading girls, thanks for the   and sending all that need them lots of         and         , hoping to read more good news and maybe to add to it, dare I hope? 

xxxx


----------



## Queen_Bee

Let's see what happens tomorrow... 

I have had a miscarriage already so I pray it's not that  

Anyway, at least this time tomorrow I will have more information...God this is hard, isn't it

Thanks to ALL of you for your encouraging messages, it means a lot to me

QB x


----------



## Tiny21

Queen Bee, thinking of you and sending loads of


----------



## Queen_Bee

thank you Tiny x


----------



## LellyLupin

Good luck for tomorrow QB I will be thinking of you, I am SURE you have a BFP there chick xx


----------



## Moominmum

A quick one to say Good Luck for tomorrow QB!  

Everyone on the 2ww - keep strong!  

To everyone:


----------



## Shell42

Queen Bee hope you get your BFP confirmed today. Thinking of you.  

I am now 5 days past a 2 day transfer and keep greeting pain in right hand side and a really weird feeling like I need to tense my stomach. Convinced its got to mean there is bad news on the horizon. Just quickly checking so not had chance to read all the threads properly but wanted to say congrats to all the ladies who have had a BFP. It's giving me hope when I thought there was none. Not seen Sarahj on here for a while. I hope everything is ok.

Xx


----------



## Chandlerino

QB - good luck for today x

AFM Chandlerino is PUPO! Couldn't go to blast as have to be back at work tomorrow so with a little pushing got the clinic to agree to transfer 3 x 8 cell 3 day embies. The 4th was poorer quality so will see how it goes in the lab.

Back to normality now, school run, food shopping, washing and halloween to sort out!


----------



## goldbunny

well done chandler and good luck


----------



## Chandlerino

Thanks GB - did you have a 3 day transfer?


----------



## goldbunny

yes i did , one 10 cell and one 8 cell.


----------



## Sazzmataz

Hi every1,

I'm new to the thread & currently on my 1st IVF.  I'm on day 12 & did trigger injections last night & having EC tomorrow!
It's suddenly gone very quick, nervous & excited at the same time. Have been on mild IVF & have managed 9 follies, although 2 on the left may be inaccessible due to position of my ovary. Fingers crossed I get some good quality eggs from the right side. Have taken day off work today to relax ready for tomorrow 

Good luck to everyone going through treatment at the mo
& congratulations to those who have their BFP  It's great to hear positive stories & has given me hope that dreams do come true!. 

S.x


----------



## Chandlerino

Great result Sazz!

Wishing you the very best of luck & enjoy your drug free day xx


----------



## Sushi Lover

Well done Chanderlino...congrats on being PUPO!  Why did you have to push the clinic to put 3 back in?  Is it not normal practise to do that for over 40's in the Czech Republic?

Best of luck for today Queen Bee..  I hope you get your BFP.  Yes, it's so tough, I agree.

Welcome to Sazzmataz...  good luck for your EC tomorrow.  Hopefully you'll get some lovely mature eggs from your 9 follis.  I think they usually get an egg from 70% of them.  So you should get 6!  Crossed fingers.  Enjoy your rest day.

K xx


----------



## Chandlerino

I had to push as its not their policy and they were great looking embryos so the Dr was concerned about a triplet pregnancy [eek!]

My arguement was that I've had 3 mcs and two failed IVFs [both with 2 embies transferred]. Dr went along with me in the end 

Not sure what meds everyone is on after transfer but I feel like a junkie - here's what Ive been told to take:

1 x injection of agolutin [gestone equiv - ouch]
3 x estrofem [estrogen]
4 x 4, twice a day - Urtogestan [very fiddly to insert - small balls the size of a pea so not bullets like cyclogest]
1 x 5mg prednislone
2 x metformin
1 x 75mg aspirin
extra folic acid and pregnacare!


----------



## Sazzmataz

Thankyou *Chandlerino* I'm going to do some sewing then sofa with a book  & congratulations to you on being PUPO .

*Kirstylovessushi* Thankyou & fingers crossed I'll get some mature eggs, I feel lucky to have got this far & appreciate every moment. have a good day too 

S.x


----------



## bannyb

Congrats on being PUPO Chandlerino, hope the 2 ww whizzes and PUPO turns to P! Wow, that's a good cocktail of meds! Maybe I should be asking Mrs Reddy for all of those too? What's your post transfer experience with her? I've not made it that far with her yet.


QB thinking of you, hope it's the result you've been wishing for   


Welcome Sazzmataz, well done with the follies and good luck with collection. Sad to read your profile, I really hope that your dreams come true with this cycle    


Hi everyone else! Hope you're all ok? 


AFM on day 8 DR.. still another 2 weeks to go    not sure why they're not scanning and swimming after 2 weeks, but hey ho!


----------



## bannyb

I meant stimming not swimming!


----------



## de_vi

ladies, for the first time ever in my life I got a BFP!!! Went to our clinic this morning for the blood test (too scared to do HPT!), expected ''the usual'' - and it had worked!!! I still cannot believe it.... I think it definitely must have been the immune treatment that made the difference this time... (Granocyte injections because of KIR receptors missing)... And probably all the supplements... Anyhow....

Still in shock....


----------



## bannyb

Wow! Great big congratulations De_vi! Enjoy enjoy enjoy! more dancing bananas!!


----------



## LellyLupin

Wow De-Vi thats fantastic news well done girl, here are some                    just for you xxxx


----------



## Sushi Lover

Woo hoo!!!  De_vi.... I'm so happy for you.  Congrats honey.  I've never had a BFP before either, so I can understand that you can't quite believe it!!  Such wonderful news.  Gives me hope.  Please tell me which supplements you added 

Kirsty xx


----------



## goldbunny

great news de vi well done


----------



## Chandlerino

Congats Di_vi!!!!


----------



## Chandlerino

bannyb said:


> Congrats on being PUPO Chandlerino, hope the 2 ww whizzes and PUPO turns to P! Wow, that's a good cocktail of meds! Maybe I should be asking Mrs Reddy for all of those too? What's your post transfer experience with her? I've not made it that far with her yet.


Bannyb

I did this cycle in the Czech Republic at Reprofit because we felt that Mrs Reddy, although fab, and Oxford weren't willing to try anything else. I had the menstral blood test via serum then short protocol at Reprofit. I stimmed with 225 of gonal F and got 4 eggs from 4 follies with 100% fertilisation. The meds are what, I believe I needed but Mrs Reddy said only aspirin from ET. Also had a consult with Penny at Serum in Greece via email and she agreed I needed more post ET support because you shouldnt bleed before OTD on meds.

Taking ALL the advice on board we decide to take a shot with Reprofit. The cost was a big factor as this will be our last cycle which is another reason why we went abroad - even with the cost of hotel and flights its still cheaper and the clinic was fab. I'm in no way dissing Mrs Reddy as I think she's lovely we just needed to be sure we were giving it our best shot. The more IVF cycles you do the more you learn


----------



## dillydolly

Chanderlino
I think I bled before OTD on both a fresh cycle and FET. Do I need more meds? I think I have only ever taken the bullets!


----------



## bannyb

Thanks for this Chandlerino, very useful information. I bled before OTD last cycle it was a week after ET. I think I am going to try to persuade them to prescribe some gestone or something for me too, though by the sounds of things it might be tricky to persuade her. This is my last cycle so I am going to push extra hard as want to feel that we've done all we can. I'm starting on a high dose of gonal f, 375 so hoping the increased dose will give a better result than last two rounds. Fingers crossed! Thanks again


----------



## Queen_Bee

Hello gang,

Well, I had a positive this morning. I tried another HPT and it was positive but the line was off centre so I got all worried about that. So then I went to the clinic and did the test and they called to say it was positive. I am very scared of miscarrying again, but at least I am getting closer what ever happens next. I am being monitored every day this week with blood tests and still on tons on medication for my immunes so hopefully...

De-Vi!!! Congratulations!

Have a great afternoon all of you x


----------



## Chandlerino

Well done QB - be positive x

Bannyb - good luck as you say she is not easily persuaded - I went to my follow up with a list of questions and came away with the its 'bad luck', try again, more meds... My progesterone was always low on my day 21 tests too.

On my 2nd cycle I had cyclogest from the previous cycle left over and even using an extra one per day made no difference with helping my grade A embies stick......


----------



## bannyb

Woop woop!!! Well done QB! i'm    very hard that all goes well for you. I know it's a worrying time but really hope you can relax a bit and take time to enjoy the positive result! Over the moon for you


----------



## Sushi Lover

Woo hoo!!  Congrats QB.  I knew it wasn't a evaporation line  

Really pleased for you.  Gives me hope to carry on trying.  I'll pray this little one sticks for you.

K xx


----------



## de_vi

Queen-Bee, wonderful news!!! Today is a good day, it seems! Am so happy its a true BFP for you too, it seems we have been on here forever!

Thank you all for your kind words and sharing the joy!!!


----------



## Queen_Bee

thanks ladies


----------



## BECKY7

Hey QB  I knew it haha and very well done and please don't stress  just carrying on and pretence your not pg apart from you know what you can /can't do  and to take thing easy and 1 dy a time eh.
Di-vi  big congrats.
Come on ladies  sound like this board is doing very very well on our age eh and many more to come
Becky7 xx


----------



## Queen_Bee

Thanks Becky7  You're right, I am just going to take it easy now and take in one step at a time. And as I am not working at the moment (I freelance so I can stop and start so to speak) I am going to enjoy lots of movies and TV   
Baby dust to all of you!!!  

QB x


----------



## de_vi

I just went back to what I posted a few weeks ago, here it is again, about the supplements to improve egg quality. I started taking most of them after the first IVF failed in June, and added some more after we had zero fertilisation in the 2nd IVF (since we did ICSI, the "theory" seems to be that if there is zero fertilisation with IVF, its likely to be due to sperm quality, whereas if the same happens with ICSI then its likely to be down to egg quality more than sperm.... well, I'm no expert, just repeating what I read on forums and clinic websites...)

After reading up about it, and seen the 1st cycle as well where we only had 1 embryo, I put together my own list of supplements, partly after recommendations from FF, partly from a list of somebody from a Canadian clinic (its their "standard list" for poor responders and suspected poor oocyte quality):

- DHEA 75 mg
- Co-Q10 600 mg (300 morning/300 evening) - they are expensive but cheapest I found on iherb.com
- Melatonin 3 mg (see this article about research on its egg-quality-improving-influence http://www.bionews.org.uk/page_70654.asp ), 30 mins before going to sleep

on top of the usual other supplements like Vitabiotics Pregnacare, Vitamin D 2000 mg a day (helps with immun system tolerance), Essential Fatty Acids and DHA - I think that is all.


----------



## Lucky100

Well done queen bee! It feels surreal doesn't it?
Congratulations, I hope everything goes well for you!  

Lucky109


----------



## Queen_Bee

Thanks Lucky 100  

De-Vi I am impressed with your research!
By the way, which vitamins are you taking now? I am not sure which to take. I was taking a Veridian prenatal vitamin up to and including today. 

x


----------



## fififi

WOW ... big congratulations de_vi and Queen Bee             

That's such great news - hoping that all goes well for you as you enter the next stage of being pg ladies!!!


----------



## memebaby

have been away and cant believe what ive come back to .

my ,two old friends from ages ago...........queen bee and de-vi.........!!!!!!!!!!!!! well I am just over the moon for you both. Amazing news. Please , please, I know you will be feeling cautious and yes its early stages but just enjoy the feeling and delight in being bfp. ..........and countdown now for your first scan.

maybe pop over to the over 40's pregnancy thread. Im 23 weeks now and nothing makes me happier than knowing you 2 lovely ladies have cracked that precious bfp.

Lesley........im not sure if you are reconsidering your brothers kind offer or whether you have really decided that was your last try. Im  sorry , really am. Nothing I can say to make you feel better. I truly hope you are feeling better though. 

hugs and good wishes to all
meme xxxxxxxxx


----------



## urbangirl

Congratulations QB (Knew it!) & De_Vi, such happy, happy news! Thrilled for you ladees,                

QB- did you have your immunes tested or did you just have general immunes from ARGC, as empirical treatment, or whatever it is they call it when they give you a generalised drug protocol just _in case _ you have said problem, like people taking aspirin as 'insurance' against clotting?....

Chandlerino, congrats on being PUPO!

Welcome Sazzmataz


----------



## Moominmum

QB and de_vi: massive congrats - what a day!


----------



## Moominmum

Oh and Chandlerino - massive congrats on being PUPO!


----------



## Sushi Lover

Hi De_vi...  thanks for the list.  I'll give the melatonin and Vit D a try as well then (got the others covered!)  Little bit worried about the DHEA as I'm prone to cysts and I think I've read that it can aggrevate or cause follicular cysts?  I'm going to see a new consultant next week so I'll ask him.

Thanks a lot though...  really helpful.  

Hope you are feeling well. K xx


----------



## warey

Hello all

I am not familiar with everyone on This thread as i have just come off the serum sept/oct thread after a failed DE cycle. We have a long history, but are still trying! We have a beautiful 5year old we finally conceived after 8.5 years of heartache. Anyway, just a quick hi, planning a laparoscopy next month and back to serum for FET in jan.

Goodluck to all the girls who are PUPO and all the beat for those who are in the process


----------



## Queen_Bee

Thanks everybody   and hello meme!

trying to relax, my readings are good yesterday and today so hopefully it's going well in there!
Urban Girl, I had a repeat immunes yesterday. I had the full immunes done at the start of my treatment and have been taking clexane (blood thinner) and steroids (for the NKS) a part form the progesterone...

Trying to enjoying, but feeling nervous one minute and happy the next. One day at a time...

xx


----------



## LellyLupin

Just relax and enjoy it QB you will be fine xx

Meme i am considering trying again after xmas, just trying to get myself together again for a while.  Hope you and Minimeme are doing fine xxxx

Hello everyone else xx


----------



## Sazzmataz

Hi everyone, 

Had EC today & feeling rubbish  sore, swollen & waves of breathlessness!
Got 4 eggs from right ovary which happy with, couldn't get to the left as thought as ovary hiding behind uterus, so couple of big follicles left behind. Fingers, toes & everything crossed for tomorrows call from embryologist! 

Hope everyone is ok & sending you all lotsa good luck vibes & hugs 

sorry for short impersonal post, will post tomorrow when hopefully will feel much better.

Nite nite all 

S.x


----------



## Chandlerino

4 is a great number Sazz - just like me!

fingers crossed for great fertilisation - take some paracetamol that should ease the pain xxx


----------



## AprilShelly

Hi everybody! I'm new on this thread. I have just had my second failed ivf and have now changed clinics and have just finished my monitoring cycle with the ARGC and am waiting for the results of my chicago immunes before I start my 3rd IVF.

It's great to hear about all the positive results for those of us in the over 40s category it gives me hope considering all I have heard in the aftermath of my last failed ivf is that my eggs are old- it is very disheartening  .  the journey is difficult enough without the negative comments.

Congrats to QB, DE_Vi        hopefully i will be in your gang sometime  
Sazzmataz everything crossed for tomorrow 
Chandlerino congrats on being PUPO  

Best wishes to all
AprilShellyxxx


----------



## urbangirl

QB, that's interesting, I do remember you mentioning something about immunes after your failed cycle you posted about, but I couldn't remember if it was something you had tried or were thinking about trying. If it's the latter maybe that's what made the difference on this cycle....  That would be of help/ interest to some of the ladies on here who may not have considered immunes as a possibility.  The Chicago tests are painfully expensive, but if we need it and it gets the bfp it's worth it.    Anyone who wants to know- anyone can get these done independently if your clinic doesn't offer them... 

On a separate note, anyone paying in cash for any treatment at a clinic keep your receipts religiously!!! I have been chased by two clinics for non-payment, one for a procedure I had paid for in full in cash at the time, another for a service that I never received!! (so efficient!) Of course I couldn't find my receipt when the former started chasing me and I looked into the law regarding this and it states you are obliged to keep receipts for SIX years!!  The clinic called me a full year after the procedure,. When I said 'If you thought I hadn't paid why didn't you contact me about it earlier?!" The guy said 'oh, er, er... we like to give our clients some leeway!"  What a load of rubbish!!! He was trying to make out that they hadn't chased me for being late paying just to be 'kind'!!  When in fact they had probably just done an audit or something and managed to lose my paid invoice. And this is an expensive, well-known London clinic.  Luckily I've managed to sort both out and show them both they are talking tosh,  but it's been a nightmare, had to see a solicitor etc etc, but will be keeping meticlous records from now on!!


----------



## wishforamiracle

Hi ladies
                WOW CONGRATS to QB and De-vi what WONDERFUL WONDERFUL news        ......... WELCOME new comers this is an amazing thread
(and afm i'm considering iui and DS if my DH will agree...... maybe after christmas)
    Lesley hope you decide to go for it 
                                                             to everyone


----------



## bannyb

Anyone any advice on AF arriving during cycle? I'm always regular, but they gave me norethisterone and I finished it on Monday and still no sign of AF. I'm on day 9 of dr. Starting to worry now. No idea why they gave me the norethisterone as I've always had a bleed at the right time with previous cycles. 


Sazzmataz hope you're feeling better today & hope it was good news   


Hi Aprilshelly and Warey best of luck with your next rounds   


UG that sounds a bit of a nightmare! Glad you got it all sorted. Have taken note & will hold on to our receipts! 


Hello and   to everyone else, enjoy your weekend


----------



## Tiny21

Huge   to those with BFPs, really good to read positive stories.


Though I was holding out that Thur was too early to test, our clinic test day is tomorrow 18 days post EC! Clearblue this morning was BFN so taking that as final, competing distraught and just not sure where to go from here    so many things going around in my mind, not least funding something else and whether my body and emotions can take it again. 


Lets hope there are more BFPs for the 'oldies'   


I have been lurking but not posting a huge amount on here but thank you for your support lovely ladies 
X


----------



## Lucky100

Hi Sazzmatazz, how are you getting on?
Good news on your EC 

Lucky100


----------



## Chandlerino

Tiny - really sorry hun - sending you a  

chand xx


----------



## bannyb

So sad to read your news Tiny    I can imagine your mind is in over drive at the moment and you won't be able to think clearly about what to do yet. I agree, it is so hard physically, emotionally and financially. Sending a


----------



## goldbunny

sorry tiny - but hang in there. xxx


----------



## Shell42

Sazzmataz, I hope your 4 eggs are growing beautifully. I got 4 eggs too and had 2 put back on a 2 day transfer so I'm now PUPO! Fingers crossed for you x

Tiny really sorry to hear about your BFN.

AFM well I am officially obsessed with POAS. Did a HPT on Wednesday which was 5 days after 2 day transfer (7 DPO) and got a BFN. I knew it was way too early to test but at least I know trigger shot is out of my system. Did another HPT yesterday, which was 7 days after 2 day transfer (9 DPO) and it was still a BFN. So confused don't know what to think after googling for most of this morning some sites are saying it is still to early to test and others are saying they got a BFP at this stage. Doesn't help that cyclogest makes you feel pregnant; swollen and tender boobs, getting up at 4am for a pee and weird dreams is the lovely affect cyclogest is having on me. 

Any other ladies tested this early and got a BFN, but then went on to get a BFP? Feel so desperate as I'm sure we all do in our 2ww.

Going to walk the dog as its the only thing that keeps me away from google!

Hope you all have a lovely weekend x


----------



## goldbunny

shell! stop googling!   

i admit i googled a lot! but here's the thing, one site i found showed real stories of people's testing, and there were many who were BFN at day 11, 12, 13, even up to 15 past ovulation (egg collection) who later went BFP. Do not test again until you are 12DPO you will drive yourself bonkers. if you can hold out longer then great. i think i was 13DPO before i tested BFP. 9 is way too early.


----------



## Shell42

Hi Goldbunny, 

Just what I needed - someone to talk to some sense  into me! Thanks and congrats on your BFP. Will put the HPTs down and just enjoy being PUPO for the time being x


----------



## Tiny21

http://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test/dpo-chart.php?dpo=12
[/size]
[/size]This is pretty interesting as you can change the test date post ovulation, 16 days post EC/ovulation seems to be
optimum time to test though from their research.

Thanks for your thoughts 
AF is always held off by my huge amounts of drugs though so until stop drugs she won't arrive, will test again tomorrow using 
Clinic test just so I can tell them on Monday and book the review
X

/links


----------



## hopeful68

shell - i second gold bunny!! even at OTD it may be too early. a lady on here tested OTD and got BFN then tested 2 days later and got BFP so chill and dont obcess - difficult i know but POAS fever is not going to help!!!

Tiny - so sorry. as a 40+ cycler with a BFN join the BFN over 40 thread set up recently - somewhere to vent, chat etc, but take time out and get your head together. we will be here, or there, to help if we can!!


----------



## LellyLupin

Shell STOP testing its way too early!!!    Wait until a couple of days before your official OTD if you can't wait till then, its not over yet  

Tiny I am so sorry sweetie xxx


----------



## Shell42

Goldbunny, Hopeful and Lesleylupin you will be pleased to hear I have resisted the urge to POAS. What would I do without you ladies and this thread. 

However I now have a new obsession (in addition to frantic knicker checking) and that's assessing how tender my boobs are. Ever since starting cyclogest I have had swollen tender boobs so I put this side affect down to the pessaries. However when I woke up this morning by boobs didn't hurt at all and my stomach wasn't so bloated. So instead of using HPT I am now using my boobs as some kind of pregnancy indicator and because they did hurt and no longer do I am convinced this means maybe I was pregnant and now I am not. Has this happened to anyone else. Ahh this 2 ww is sending me more crazy than any of the ivf injections.

Hoping we get lots of BFPs as they are the only things that keep my hopes alive. Sorry ladies feeling really negative and low today. Maybe some fresh air will perk me up.


----------



## LellyLupin

I think thats quite normal Shell, good even as most of the BFPs on here said they had no symptoms at all.  The 2ww is like water torture  it just slowly drives you nuts  .  Try and focus on something else to give yourself a break


----------



## BECKY7

Hey shell  when I got my 1st BFP on my 1st goes of IUI my bb was vey sore but it was on and off  which I was told is normal. This time I didn't even have any sore bb only feeling wet and still very tired so who know and the only thing that kept me going was maybe it was a girl last time and this time it a boy eh lol.
Becky7 xx


----------



## Chandlerino

Becky have u tested?

I have no symptoms at all :-(


----------



## Chandlerino

Shell

This is for you - and +1 day for 2 day transfer:

http://www.nyufertilitycenter.org/ivf/embryo_transfer

/links


----------



## BECKY7

Hey chandlerino  I test at 10dpiui and got BFN then I chickened out and couldn't test anymore as I am 13dpiui today lol. I didn't have any symptoms only tired, wetness,mild cramping from CD10  that it and look at other girls didn't have any symptoms and got pregnant
Becky7 xx.


----------



## beckxx2

Hi all, 
Not been online much during my 2WW but I am 14 dpiui - Been feeling really lethargic past few days & yesterday felt faint a few times + weird on & off - hubby was sure I was PG but tested today & BFN......AF due weds

Hope everyone is well & doing ok xx


----------



## urbangirl

Tiny21, that piece about testing 12 days PO is really interesting.  But it would be good if they had updated the chart to say how many of those pregnancies continued at least to the 12 week mark, because some people say if it shows late it means it's not a strong pregnancy.  That was the case in my last pregancy, which showed negative on test day and then finally the faintest line imaginable at 31 days which grew really strong over the following week. My embryo got as far as the heartbeat stage but then a week later the heartbeat was lost, which, as anyone who's miscarried will know, is devastating.  I'd love to see some research on this, whether the day you get your line makes a difference to whether the pregnancy progresses.  Though, on the positive side, I'd rather have had my miscarriages than nothing, as at least you feel you made it to implantation before, so why not again.....


----------



## LellyLupin

Theres still time for it to change becks especially as you are only 14 days post transfer xx


----------



## Sazzmataz

Hi everyone,

Firstly thankyou for all good luck wishes & sorry for no response till now. I've been very quiet & had a very sad wkend as my cycle has ended.  
EC was a horrible experience & I seemed to really suffer afterwards, much more so than when I'd had a laprascopy & endo lasered! Still suffering now! 
Anyway they got 4 eggs from my right ovary only as couldn't access the follies on left.
My poor eggies didn't do very well overnight, 1 abnormally fertilized & the others very slow, so i had to wait another day to see what was what. Saturday's phone call came with the devastating news that they weren't dividing so end of cycle! 
Feel crushed that I didn't even get to ET! I feel a sense of mourning?  I know i did well to get so far despite my age & all other results were good. I have a good AF count for my age & responded well but at the end of the day these eggs are old with questionable quality. 
At the moment we're not in a financial situation to do another cycle so sadly it's the end of the journey.
It's also stirred up so many emotions connected to my daughter i lost & the realisation that I'm unlikely to ever know my own child, very sad 
Next step is follow up appointment on the 16th to ask questions etc...

Hope everyone else is doing well  & congratulations to any BFP's  & to those who are PUPO 
*Lucky 100* good luck with your scan 

Not sure where i belong now as cycle now over, didn't get a BFN  I'll pop by now & then to see how every1 is getting on.

Sending you all lotsa positive vibes    Hugs &                

S.x


----------



## Moominmum

Sazz: so sorry to hear your news  

When you are ready, please join us on http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=296557.0.

Moominmum


----------



## de_vi

Sazzmataz, really sorry to hear what has happened! I had a cycle like that in August (not even getting to ET) and remember how devastated I felt, and how unexpected the blow was. It was like yours - phone call on Saturday, when you were just getting ready to get the agenda out for writing in the ET appointment on Monday. I remember that very well, and I am so so sorry you have to go through it.

What I want to say is: don't give up. I know right now it doesn't feel like it at all - but don't give up just yet.

We changed clinics, and had BFP at the first attempt at the new clinic. I am convinced the super bad result we had at the previous clinic had also to do with their treatment protocols. You and your eggs can do much better on a different protocol, with different meds, dosage and maybe longer or shorter stim time. 

This is not the end. All my best wishes for you,

De-Vi


----------



## goldbunny

so sorry sazzmatazz         

it could so easily have been me i am counting every hour that goes by with relief and gratitude. they couldn't access my left ovary at one of my scans so we weren't sure if they'd manage it on the day  but they did.


----------



## Sazzmataz

Thanx guys for your positive, caring words 

*Goldbunny* With the problem with your left ovary, did you ever know there was a problem before your cycle?
I had a laparoscopy less than a year ago & there was no problem or indication that my left ovary was behind my uterus?  & I'd had a scan in September & they didn't seem to have a problem locating my left ovary then? 
In EC they said it was too dangerous to retrieve eggs from my left ovary as they're very vascular? 
Worried i'll always have this prob?
Massive congratulations on your BFP  

*De_vi* Thanx for your positive words & similiar story it seems! I was also on menopur 300. thankyou for your good advice, i did respond well & would have had more eggs if they'd been able to get to my left ovary! 
I wonder if it's better to stim for longer on lower doses at our age? I'll see what they say at the follow up!
& massive congratulations also on your BFP  

*Moominmum* Thankyou & i'll take a look   It's difficult knowing what to do next.

S.x


----------



## fififi

sazmattazz - so, so sorry     

Crying just reading your post so can't begin to imagine how you're feeling right now    

Do join us on BFN thread for support - the title is little misleading as moonimum set it up for those of us who didn't get the joy of moving onto pg threads. There's several of us who are not able to have further treatment due to finances/emotional costs so it's a good place to share pain together and look for positives where we can


----------



## fififi

sazmattazz - just to add on my IVF cycle in Sept 2011 they could only retrieve eggs from one side (forget which ovary) but I've not had that problem since, touch wood.


----------



## goldbunny

sazz lefty was a bit awkward compared to righty on cycle one, but still accessible with pressure on abdomen. 

cycle two it was ok at the first scan but somehow moved by the second scan, the third scan they got the consultant to do it rather than the scannerlady because she'd had such bother looking for it, well he poked around for about an hour but really couldn't see anything (lefty was behind uterus). we warned them on the day of e/c but luckily by then things had shuffled around and they could reach, though i don't actually know how many i got from each ovary, i got 7 eggs overall and i am sure they didn't all come from the right because my left one seems to produce more. my antral follicle count was one on each ovary i think! 
so i seriously didn't know til after i came out of e/c that they would have got any from the left and it had been fine last cycle, i am quite sure you won't necessarily have the same problem repeat, stuff does move about inside you. xxx it's harder for them to tell at the normal scans because they can only poke so much without hurting you but once you are sedated for e/c they can be a bit rougher - but of course that means we never quite know how it will go until the day.


----------



## Sazzmataz

*Fififi* thankyou  I'm going to take a look at the thread as agree we all need to support each other  did you find that you were extra bloated possibly because of large follies left behind? I was so bloated & especially swollen on the left. Swelling was so high that it made me breathless  but then i dont have too long a body so doesnt have much space to go maybe 

*Goldbunny* think they were quite forceful with me hence hurting so much & bled too  If by some miracle we are able to afford another go fingers crossed it wont be the same.

Hugs to everyone. Its nice to feel people care & I'm not alone.


S.x


----------



## fififi

sazz - I was in loads of pain after EC, so much so that I was concerned I had an infection and would need antibiotics. Plus bled quite a bit for couple of days after. Bloating was ridiculous and I felt so uncomfortable - only relief was fact at that point I could at least use heat pad / hot water bottle and have warm bath. I was told I could take paracetamol and ibroprofen together to help with pain thereby having something every 2 hours. Peppermint tea also helped with bloating.

Hope physical pain goes away quickly as that is going to be making the emotional hurt that bit worse - if that's possible    
Try to get some rest and watch pants daytime tv or something today and don't push yourself into things too soon. You've been through a horrible experience and it's going to take while to recover and even start to cope with the depth of sadness you're feeling xxxx


----------



## Sushi Lover

Sazzmataz...You are definitely not alone.  I know we are all complete 'strangers', but we know what you are going through and are here to help and support.  Please join us on the other thread for BFN's...  as fififi and moomin have said.  

Thinking of you and hope you find some other way to either try again or fall naturally!  I know it feels like you are rock bottom at the moment with nowhere to turn, but there is always hope and opportunities just around the corner.  Stay strong and I hope your bloating and pain eases soon.  Rest up and make sure you get some tlc from hubby.  

K xxx


----------



## bannyb

So sorry Sazzmataz, very sad for you    Sending you such a big   Hope that the physical pain eases up quickly for you. I understand what you mean about a sense of mourning, I think it's quite normal as it is a loss, and it hits so hard as you have so much hope tied up with it all. Take your time to mend from this, and as others have said, don't give up hope on your journey


----------



## Mish3434

Sazz, I'm so sorry     


Shelley x


----------



## dillydolly

Re hidden ovaries

I think the ovaries are quite mobile and can move about. I think it also depends how full bladder and bowel are as to where they get pushed too!


----------



## Chandlerino

Sazz - so sorry hunny xx  

AFM - i need to step away from google as feeling very negative


----------



## bannyb

Stay positive Chandlerino, you've got 3 great embies snuggling in nicely and it's early days yet. I agree though.. step away from google if you can as it doesn't help the 2 ww at all, though I find it impossible not to google every little sign and symptom, I'm even doing it during dr so heaven knows what I'll be like in my 2 ww!   for you


----------



## LellyLupin

Sazz I am so very sorry honey, come over to Moomins thread it really does help to offload and discuss with other people.  

Chandler step away from google as you always over analyse on there, its not good for your PMA xx  You have a very good chance so step away and relax and think of nice things instead of what can go wrong


----------



## Tiny21

Sazz, just having a quick update read and so so sorry to see what you have been through, I know I was distraught when only 2 of our fertilised from 7 mature as I was so worried we wouldn't make it so can only imagine your pain right now     . I am on the other thread and when you are ready it is a great thread. Give yourself time to grieve huge   xx


----------



## Shell42

Sazzmataz, just having a quick check and wanted so sorry to hear your news. We go into IVf full of hope and for your cycle to end the way it must be devastating. X


----------



## Lucky100

Hi SAzz, really sorry to hear your news. We were all rooting for you. Sending you big hugs and I hope that you get some answers from your next meeting. This is such a tough journey for you. Keep strong and know that there are plenty of people out there that care and that are wishing you well.

Thanks For asking after my scan. We have one heartbeat. I am so humbled. The sac is measuring a bit small, so have another scan on Monday but hopefully  all is well.

ladies, thanks a million for all your support over the last few months. I'm not going to post on this thread any more but will keep checking in to follow your progress. Love and very best wishes to everyone. They say that the longest journeys start with the smallest step, and that is something that we can all relate to on our fertility journey.

 

Lucky100


----------



## de_vi

good evening ladies,

reb363, I saw your post earlier and wanted to reply but didnt get to it until now. welcome to the thread, even though I am, technically speaking, no longer an active cycler, but the support you get here is really precious and so very helpful in our situation. I wish you the very best of luck with your attempt at a sibling for your baby! Do keep us posted, please!

lucky100, what a to-the-point-name! Crossing fingers for you that all develops normally!

We had the first ever scan today - since last week on it's all "firsts" again for me, feels a bit unfamiliar, just like the first IVF-cycle where you just follow what the doctors say. Well, all was ok, I was SO relieved!!

Queen-Bee, how are things going for you? Have you moved on to the pregnancy boards yet? I suppose we ought to.... 

Chandlerino, how are you holding up? Hope you are not going too crazy 

Lesley, moomin, Kirsty, hopeful, tiny, fififi, have been following your posts on the other board - and will do in future - thinking of you all! 

good night, de_vi


----------



## bannyb

Hi everyone, hope you're all doing well? I think a lot of you have moved over to the other board so I'm a bit confused as to who is here and cycling still? i'm having a read of how you are all doing on the other thread, keep thinking of you all. 


Is anyone else going to be cycle buddies with me? 


Chandler I know you're in the dreaded 2 ww, hope you're feeling well and a bit more positive this week? 


Congrats De_vi on your 1 st scan, must be a huge relief    Hope that all goes well for the next 7.5 months.



Hello reb363, welcome and loads of luck with your cycle. I'm also trying for a sibling for DS, so fingers crossed! 


AFM I'm STILL dr, it's never ending! Scan next Tues then hopefully stims will start on the Fri. 


  to you all


----------



## Sushi Lover

Lucky100... Ahh, fantastic about that little heartbeat.  You must be relieved.  Good luck with the next scan on Monday, I hope everything works out well with the sac and it's looks a bit bigger.

de_vi...  glad your first scan went ok too.  It must be very emotional!

bannyb... you must be excited in anticipation to start stimulation.  I always feel that anxious excitement and hope.  Afraid I can't you personally with being a cycle buddy with you..  we aren't starting our next cycle until December.  I wish you lots of luck and will pop into the thread to see your progress.

Shell41...  best of luck for your OTD tomorrow lovie...  They've been lots of BFPs lately so continue the trend please!  Give us all hope.

Chandlerino...how are you feeling now?  A bit more positive?  The 2ww is pure hell!!  Glad you are stepping away from google, it doesn't help searching for every little sign and symptom.  So difficult to do though.  Not long to go until your OTD.  

K xx


----------



## Chandlerino

I am going nuts  

9 days past transfer - no symtpoms - ass cheeks bruised from injections - 2 timy miniscule spots of blood today on my liner - hope its implantation and not AF as I have never made it to OTD on previous cycles. 

Far too scared of the disappointment to start testing....


----------



## hjanea

Hi, can I join you? I'm having my 4th and probably final attempt with donor embies. Thaw is tomorrow and unless I hear differently in the morning ET will be at 10.45. The embies are d2 ones and I was hoping they could get them to at least d3 but will have to see how they defrost. Last time I had 2 embies because they weren't particularly good quality but I think the bfn was more down to not absorbing the progesterone pessaries so I'm now on injections, however I'm unsure how many to have put in this time. I had DD at 32 weeks due to pre eclampsia, so am already high risk for this which would be made worse by a multiple pg but part of me wants to give myself the best chance of a pg which would mean transferring more than 1. Think I need to have a good long think tonight.


----------



## BECKY7

Hey chandlerino 2 spot on pantie mean implantation as 9dpt is the right time for it and maybe you are having a boy for you to not have any symptoms etc.
Hjanea  welcome and good luck.
BFN for me  and still waiting for my AF  aghhhh  so am in the bath with Pinot  and round 3 next month as I need a break as I got few party to go  which I could do with few drink in me before my 3rd DIUI in dec and this time I am gonna ask for younger DS.
Becky7 xx


----------



## bannyb

Chandler...ouch to sore ass cheeks! I've got absolutely everything crossed that it's implantation spotting, sounds like it might be the right time for that   Sending lots of   your way   
Becky so sorry to read your news    

Welcome hjanea, hope the thawing and ETgo well tomorrow. I totally sympathise, what a hard decision for you to make during an already stressful time. Loads of luck with it all and will be   for you


----------



## reb363

Hello BannyB - how are you feeling? Not long to wait now for stims to start. 


Hjanea really good luck this morning. Everything is crossed. 


chandlerino - ouch. Which is the jab in the ass!! 


Lucky100 - everything's crossed for your scan on Monday. 


I'm going for a scan Sat. Still slightly shocked that I am here as was expecting bad news on the high fsh again and had finally come to terms with ending IVF in January. 90% scared, 10% excited!


Then De-Vi how fantastic to read about your bfp - You must be over the moon. 


Becky   enjoy party!!!


Reb x


----------



## Sushi Lover

So sorry to hear your news Becky7.  Sending you massive hugs  

It's just as difficult to deal whether it's IUI or IVF.  Still as tough.  I hope your parties give you a well earned break/rest and the distraction you need.

I'm having a break too, before my next cycle in December..  so maybe we'll be stimming at the same time and can be on this Current Cyclers thread as cycle buddies!

K x


----------



## BECKY7

Hey kirstylovessushi 
Yes it would be great to have a break as I got email back from penny that I can do IUI with donor sperm as well with frozen donor embryo  it like having tandem  and that is from serum and now gonna wait and see what reprofsit say whether they can do that or not as I think reprofsit is much cheaper then serum.
Becky7 xx


----------



## Queen_Bee

Hi ladies ,

Sorry I haven't been in touch and congrats to all the new positives!

I have been keeping a low profile as I am quite nervous about these early weeks. My last miscarriage was around about now so I am terrified that it will happen again. 
I am at the ARGC and I am monitored every other day which is good in one way but terrifying too as i am waiting for phone calls all the time and my heart jumps at the slightest thing  

Still so far so good...De vi hope you're getting on OK and to see you in the pregnancy boards soon!   
Queen Bee

x


----------



## SuperKitty

Crikey, it's been only a little while since I was last on this thread and it's all happening!  

Lovely to see so many BFP's - yay for De_vi, Queen_Bee and Lucky100!       And any others that I've missed (am on my phone so can only go back a few pages).

Chandlerino, congrats on being PUPO, when's your OTD?  And what injections are you having to do in your  , you poor thing?

Hjanea - welcome, how did your ET go today?

Becky7, really sorry    Now just try and relax and not think about IVF for a while (easier said than done I know!)

Bannyb - I'm still cycling    

AFM, I started stimming on Monday and I am HATING the injections - I loathe all the mixing and mucking about with the Menopur.  And they hurt going in and make a big red lump for an hour or so!  So now I'm on TWO   injections a day..  I miss my Synarel nasal spray and then the nice neat Gonal-F pen    I have had a couple of REALLY nauseous moments (about 11.30 in the morning each time, for some reason) which pass off in about 10 minutes but really suck.  Did anyone else who has used Menopur have nausea with it?) but apart from that feeling relatively normal, still working and going to the gym and stuff.  Just a waiting game now to see how I'm responding, first scan and blood test is on Monday at CARE.

Have a good day ladies,   to all! x


----------



## Chandlerino

Hi all

the  injection is gestone [progesterone in oil]. Had to get DH to do my left 'cheek' one but he nearly keeled over lol so have changed and now doing it in my thigh!

4 more sleeps til OTD, no symptoms, don't feel pregnant and convinced this cycle is a bust.. Feeling really emotional and got sent home from work today - sobbing at my desk is not a good look! Last 2 cycles I got signed off for the 2ww but was worried about the amount of sick leave so have been back at work since day after transfer. It has been hell so hence the meltdown today. My manager has been good and pointed out that any sick leave concerning IVF counts as pregnancy so not to worry about taking time off.

I hope I'm wrong and I get a lovely BFP on tuesday xx


----------



## Shell42

My OTD was today but AF arrived yesterday so I already knew it was a BFN. None of the embryos we didn't use made it so its the end of our IVF journey as we simply don't have the spare funds to try to again. Completely devasted as I've realised I am probably never going to be a mum. 

Fingers crossed for everyone on this thread still waiting for news. I really hope you have good news to share.xx


----------



## Chandlerino

Shell - its so tough isnt it. I know it my heart I'm headed for a BFN and it will be the end of the journey for me too as no money left to try again. So heartbreaking hun xxx


----------



## reb363

Shell42    I'm so sorry to read your post.  I hope you can find a way to try again - and that  the people around you look after and take care of you.


----------



## Shell42

Chandlerino, thank you lovely. Try and stay strong this site is proof that miracles can happen.

Reb363 thank for your kind words. Hubby is trying to console me but I'm just an emotional wreck today.

I forgot to say thank you to all the lovely ladies on this site. I don't know how I would have coped with IVF without you.


----------



## Mish3434

Shell, I'm sorry to see your BFN, huge hugs xxx


----------



## Sazzmataz

*Becky7* So sorry to hear :' (& sending you lots of hugs  
*Shell42* so sad to hear your news  sending you hugs   You're in a similiar situation to myself & it is truely heartbreaking!  I hope somehow, someway the good lucky fairy sprinkles us with some good luck sparkles & the opportunity to find a way to helping us in our journey & dream! Becky & all the other ladies receiving sad news included. 
*Chandlerino* Fingers, toes & everything crossed that Tuesday will bring happy positive news  

I'd like to thank everyone for all your kind & supportive words this past week. It helps to not feel alone. It's been a difficult week but I refuse to give up my dream of holding my own baby once again. 
Somehow, someway we'll raise the funds to try again!

To everyone else currently having treatment I wish you all the luck, positive energy & good wishes on your journey.

S.x


----------



## Sushi Lover

Shell42...  so sorry to hear your news.  Did you test just in case?  I know it's a long shot, but my clinic always tell me to test even if you are bleeding.  Is it heavy and you just 'know' ?  It happened to me, so I know exactly know you feel.  

I hope you maybe find a way or means to try again.

Let hubby look after you hun and wrap you in cotton wool this weekend.  You need looking after.  Cancel any plans you had and look after each other.  You will start to feel better and stronger again soon, I promise.

Thinking of you.

K x


----------



## Pollypoppet

Hi ladies, can I join you again please? I recognise a few names from last time, congrats to the BFPs , so sorry to BFNs and fingers crossed for 2ww-ers.

I'm on short protocol again, a week into stims now, should have final scan on Sunday, trigger Monday and EC Wednesday all being well. Scan today showed 3 follies, obviously would  love more but think its indicative of the age and condition of my ovaries. I haven't even joined the current cyclers thread this time as can't cope with the millions of eggs being collected by younger ones!!! Quality not quantity....! That said I'm thinking we may have to explore natural cycle IVF if we only get one or two from all these stims. 

Baby dust to you all, keep strong through this journey xx


----------



## reb363

Good luck Pollypoppet. I only had one egg at 41 and he's snoring next door xx


----------



## bannyb

Shell so sorry to read your sad news  Sending you a big 

Chandler try to stay positive, have you had any more spots? If not it really could have been implantation so hang on in there, don't give up on your embies just yet 

Welcome pollypoppet, I'm a very poor responder too and totally agree..quality not quantity!

Sazzmataz hope you're feeling ok after your hard week, glad to read you aren't giving up on your dream and sending so many  that it comes true very soon for you

Hjanea how did you get on? Really hope the thaw and transfer went well? Thinking of you.

Becky I hope you are holding up ok  

Hi Superkitty, so sorry I had totally forgotten you were still cycling, hope the stims are going ok & good luck with the scan in Monday. I used menopur last cycle but can't remember if I had nausea or not, sorry not much help! They've put me back in gonal f this time as I responded better with it.

Queenbee have my fingers & toes crossed for you, it must be so nerve racking for you. Glad they are keeping a close eye on everything for you 

Hello reb, Kirsty, mish, and everyone else  to all


----------



## Chandlerino

Hi Banny - no more spots but BFN this morning 11dpt - don't think its going to change. Am devestated - had meltdown at work yesterday and started sobbing [mst unlike me] so sent me home.....


----------



## bannyb

Oh Chandler, that's a hard one testing a few days early, I can imagine how you must be feeling but they really can change in a couple of days, so sending big   and    your way and     that you are wrong and it changes for you. Thinking of you


----------



## kittykins

Helloo ladies mind if i join you again?

Chandelrino - I got a BFN on the night before I was to test then in the morning was a most welcome BFP - please dont give up the hope quite yet - I demolished a bottle of red only to get the BFP the next day so you can imagine how I felt - I now have the date for down reggging - 27th November - just hope they are not squeezing me in to up the numbers for Dec. So worried already that we will now fall for scans and ec over christmas - can really do without the stress - lol 

L
x


----------



## LellyLupin

Chandler its still too early to test so don't give up hope just yet  

Shell bigs hugs to you  

Hello QB just relax  

Hello Banny, Reb, Mish, Polly, , Kittykins etc still keeping up with you all just don't feel I should be on here as I am not cycling yet xx


----------



## kittykins

How are u Lesley? 

Would like my bubbles to be 7777 for next tx if any1 can oblige please no more and no less -stupid really isnt it!


----------



## Pollypoppet

Chandlerino - So sorry to read your post and how you must be feeling. Everything crossed for you that things turn around in the next few days xx


----------



## LellyLupin

Hi Kittykins I am fine thanks, just taking a breather until after xmas for another (last) ivf xxx

7777 whatever helps


----------



## hjanea

Chandlerino-try not to get too downhearted, it could well be too early.      it is.

Thanks for the good wishes, my ET was delayed until today so they could choose the best embies. I had 2 put in. One is a 6 cell top grade and the other a 4 cell moderate grade. They were all 3 cell yesterday so I'm pleased that the 6 cell has doubled-hopefully its larger again now!!! So its just the waiting game now. I'm usually quite postive the first week but find the second one a nightmare so I'm going to try and enjoy the next few days while I am full of hope.
Helen.x


----------



## Pollypoppet

Hjanea- congrats on being PUPO. Hope the next couple of weeks go as smoothly as possible and you get the perfect result at the end of it.


----------



## bannyb

Helen great news about ET! Echoing the congrats on being PUPO! Hope the 2 ww whizzes by and gives you your dream


----------



## LellyLupin

Good luck Helen, fingers crossed


----------



## bannyb

Chandler just popped on to say that I'm thinking of you and that I hope tomorrow brings your dream with it and it's a positive


----------



## Chandlerino

BFN on first response this morning - devestated.

Thank you Banny for thinking of me xx

This journey is so hard xx


----------



## Sushi Lover

So sorry to hear that Chandlerino.  Sending you bug hugs...    

I'll pray for a miracle that something will change overnight and bring you a BFP tomorrow  

K xx


----------



## SuperKitty

So sorry Chandlerino, this business is so tough and so unfair.  It makes me really angry sometimes - all of us with all of this love to give and sometimes it feels like an endless and unfair struggle.

I'm feeling particularly negative today - am on the train on my way back from my first post-stimming scan and blood test.  I suppose the good news is that my follicles are developing well (think there were 6 on one side and 5 on the other, all between 10 and 15mm).  But they told me I have bilateral hydrosalpix, which will drastically reduce my chances of conceiving.  

They are going to try and aspirate them when they do the egg collection, to get the fluid out. If they can't, they are going to freeze any embryos we get and I have to go and have an op to either remove the Fallopian tubes entirely, or clip them off.  Which will take months to bet the appointment for.  Then all the recovery time from that (I had a laparoscopy a few years back which showed all the adhesions etc and it took me weeks and weeks to recover, I really struggled because normally I am very active and its the first time in my life that i physically wasnt able to do even the simplest stuff). Then frozen embryo transfer at some later point.  

I need to do a bit of research and speak to the nurses this afternoon as well, to decide what to do - but to be honest at the moment I just feel like giving up on the whole poxy thing. I am sick to the back teeth of it, I guess I am just not meant to have children of my own - but its still really hard to accept that my stupid body just keeps throwing obstacles in the way. I really hate everything (but mostly myself) at the moment and I just want to lie on the floor and cry like a toddler, but I am on a packed train so it'll have to wait until I get home. Oh what fun.

So anyway, that's my news. Sorry for the negativity and self-involved post, I guess I'm just having a down day. I hope everyone else's day is better than mine!


----------



## fififi

Chandlerino -     - so sorry that test showed BFN for you. Thinking of you xxx

Superkitty -      - you've certainly not had the scan you expected and have every right to a me post. Just reading your words has filled me with sadness so can't imagine how you're feeling. Hope by now you've managed to chat with nurses and DH/DP and are feeling a little more hopeful. From my ignorant perspective I would imagine they wouldn't suggest freezing if there wasn't any hope - especially since Care won't want to mess up their good over 40s stats if nothing else.
The treatment between now and having FET sounds horrid but perhaps this is actually for the best as someone posted a link to an article a few weeks back saying that over 40s have much higher success rates in a test they carried out where ladies had embryos frozen and allowing their body to return to normal before implanting the embryo    
Thinking of you


----------



## Pollypoppet

Chandlerino - so sorry to hear your news, sending you a big hug x

Super kitty, agree with fififi, not at all what you expected to hear today but perhaps it will have a funny way of working out for the best. I know every month and every delay seem so important "at our age" (god I hate that phrase) but the frozen stats speak for themselves x


----------



## de_vi

so much has been going on here!

*Becky* and* Shell42*, I am so sorry to read about your BFN... I hope you are doing ok, still, and will find a good next option to consider. Thinking of you both!

*hjanea* - congrats on being PUPO!! that is that milestone taken, crossing fingers for a BFP for you!!

*Chandlerino*, also crossing fingers for you for tomorrow and  for a miracle! You SO deserve it, girl!

*Sazzmataz* - its good to see you back so upbeat!

*Superkitty* - what a day! Has it all settled yet? I really hope and cross fingers that they can do something at EC about it, and that you don't need to cancel this cycle.

*Queen-Bee*, am so with you with the fear for a mc! we have the 2nd scan at the end of this week (that will be 6+4) and I hope they will find a heartbeat. I havent any other symptoms at all, it still all feels very unreal.... I am sending you lots and lots of


----------



## LellyLupin

Chandlerino  

Superkitty   ^


----------



## reb363

Chandlerino - so sorry    


Superkitty - aghh    Sorry to read your post. I guess it's good they found it but every set back is so frustrating. 


H Janea - your embies sound fab. So exciting. Everything is crossed. 


Afm I had an awful weekend. I'm reacting badly to the drugs and on Sat passed out down 20 steps and hit my head and bruised myself quite badly at the bottom. I was on my own and had to get an ambulance to hospital where they did some tests and put me on a drip.  I feel really shaken up and scared and wondering if I should cancel my tx altogether as I feel so unwell, though if I do my son will never have the chance of a sibling.....


----------



## BECKY7

Oh no  reb  can you nt cancel till next month as doesn't sound good for you to pass out while on these drug eh 
Becky7 xx


----------



## SuperKitty

Reb that sounds awful, especially to be on your own.  How are you feeling now? You must be really shaken up, what a horrid thing to happen. 

Thanks everyone for being so kind - am not quite so furious and sad as I was, now that it has sunk in a little more   I know you all understand..as if its not bad enough that I can't just pop out kids whenever I want, like both of my brothers wives and all of my friends..now this. I know it's not really my fault, but I do feel like a bit of a failure sometimes.  . Anyway.  Tomorrow is another day, I'm sure it'll look better after a good nights sleep.

Will be thinking of you at the end of the week queen_bee and de_vi, exciting and terrifying in equal parts I would think. It will be fine


----------



## bannyb

Oh Chandler, I don't know what to say to help, just hoping and   that things change over night for you, miracles can happen so I am sending so many   your way. Big hugs   
Superkitty, what a nightmare day you've had. Sending you big hugs too   Don't give up on everything just yet, it may all seem like an uphill struggle but you do have some good follicles growing and at least they have found and are able to fix this problem, even if it might mean a delay before having a transfer, and as Fififi and Pollypoppet have said the stats for FETs for our age group are better than from fresh, so it could be a blessing in disguise    Hope you got home and had a good shout and stomp and scream and feel a bit better for it. 
Reb, poor you, I really hope you are feeling OK and not in shock. Do you have someone with you now? I hope you aren''t struggling on your own with all this. Sending big hugs to you too   
De_vi and queenbee will be thinking of you with your scans   
AFM have a scan tomorrow early morning and then fingers crossed stims can finally start this week!


----------



## SuperKitty

I did have a stomp and a scream and I feel better now   not happy, but better.  Resigned, if anything! Back to CARE for another scan tomorrow...just going to take each day as it comes. Yesterday was the third anniversary of my dads death so it was just a horrid day all round.  But it's over now 

Bannyb, how did your scan go? Time to stim yet? (My autocorrect tried to change that to 'slime' then ..EW)

Chandlerino...how are you doing?

Hope everyone is having a good evening.


----------



## Chandlerino

banny - are you stimming yet?

SK- am ok, bit numb, did the clinic test, emailed but no response yet. Feels weird not to do loads of pill popping and injections - feel a bit lost tbh!

Back to having sex AGAIN I guess lol! Might get a miracle you never know  It will be 2 years on Boxing Day since my last BFP.


----------



## bannyb

SK I hope your scan goes well tomorrow, sorry to read about your Dad, must be a stress every year on the 12th  without the added stress of everything else you're going through. 

Chandler, I'm so sad for you, I'd really been hoping things would turn around. I know I've said it before but life really is so cruel sometimes, particularly with this ivf journey, which is so awful as all we want is to be able to grow some little people and give them a whole lot of love. Enjoy the sex!!  You never know, all this heart ache with ivf and you may just be lucky, they say the first 3 months after are good ones for natural bfps so go for it girlie!  

I'm still not stimming, AAAAARGH! I have to wait until tomorrow evening to find out if I've down regged properly as my bloods won't be back until the afternoon apparently. She said she thought all looked OK on the scan, lining was fairly thin at 4.7 and no cysts, which is a relief as when she last scanned I had a collapsing cyst, and several tiny resting follies so fingers crossed cos it's been 3 weeks since I started dr! One day soon I'll be stimming I'm sure! 

Hello to everyone else


----------



## de_vi

*Chandlerino*, so sorry about the confirmation.... I know what you mean about feeling lost without the routine of pills and injections. Take good care of yourself over these days as you decide what to do next. I do hope the Czech doctors can help you with the "review questions".

*Superkitty* - you sound much better today. Am glad you got the shock out of your system and can look at the problem more rationally now. As you say, take a day at a time - and breath ;-)

*Banny*, your waiting for stimming sounds worse than the 2WW! Crossing fingers for the bloodwork to be ok too!


----------



## SuperKitty

Hi everyone - and just wanted to say thank you again to everyone who was so kind when I was having a rant on Monday.  I've just read back through and am a bit embarrassed at my melodrama   but I'm thankful for the support..there aren't many places you can go to where people just totally 'get' it, however sympathetic they might be. 

Bannyb - did you find out whether your endless wait to start stimming is over yet? Hope so!

Chandlerino - I know what you mean.  I remember feeling a bit lost without all the routines and the intense focus after my last cycle...and the knee-jerk panic when I had my first alcohol!!  Hope you get to relax and enjoy not being a human pincushion soon..and you never know, a little   might produce your miracle.  Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

AFM, another scan and blood test today which came back fine - I have 8 follies on the right and (I think) only 4 on the left, but better than a poke in the eye    Egg collection is scheduled for Saturday, and they will call me tomorrow to tell me when to do the trigger shot.  I am tentatively hopeful that they'll be able to aspirate the hydrosalpinges at egg collection..but sort of expecting them not to be able to.  I tell you, I won't be too sorry when it's all over and done with either way - these 7-hour round trips are getting a bit old   

 to everyone today


----------



## fififi

superkitty - glad scan brought better news for you today and you're feeling a little less upset by possibility of delay     . Even when cycle goes well every scan is scary and you feel constantly on edge so it's no wonder that you were so upset by a pretty drastic piece of new information. Can't imagine how you're coping with such long trips? I found a 40 minute journey enough.
Hopefully Saturday will be a good day for you    

de-vi - hope you're coping ok with the wait for scan. Will be thinking of you and hoping you get to see a wonderful white pulsating light    
queen bee - this stage is always going to be a worrying time for you but just remember that having got this far the chances of all being fine are HIGHER than there being a risk something is wrong     Thinking of you cos I know how scared I'd be this time had I managed to get another BFP    

bannyb - wow, you must be soooooo fed up. Do hope you've been given the go-ahead to start stims now    

chandlerino - here's hoping the BFNers have a multitude of natural miracles in the very near future      

reb363 - hope you're feeling better now and that the clinic have taken steps to ensure you're not in any danger with these meds. Despite all your hopes and plans for a sibling you do need to ensure YOU are okay too else DS will be missing out on much much more    

Lots of luck to everyone else and hope there's a big surge of BFP announcements on here soon     

PS. Lucky100 - if you're still reading this thread I've been trying to PM you but mail gets rejected. Hope your follow up scan Monday went ok - thinking of you


----------



## bannyb

SK really pleased that your scan went well today, that must be a relief. Great news that you have so many follies growing (12 is a huge number in my eyes!). Glad to hear you sounding a bit more positive today, I really hope they can do the aspiration for you too, but if they can't then you hopefully will have some great frozen embies in the freezer ready to go whenever you are ready. Loads of luck for Saturday, though I'm sure I'll be on here to say it again before Sat! Wow, 7 hour round trips, that must be incredibly tiring on top of the stress of doing an ivf round, well done you.


Chandler and Reb I hope you are OK today? Have been thinking of you.


AFM I haven't received a call so working on the assumption that no news is good news I will finally be able to start stimming on Friday...woo hoo! Though I'm still bleeding (11 days so far) so really hoping that stops ASAP as nothing will stick and I'll have a thin lining, blimey, nothing's ever simple with this!


Big hello to everyone else, hope you're all doing well


----------



## reb363

Ladies


Hi BannyB. That's great news about starting -   Thanks for thoughts. I feel more like my old self again. I did really scare myself   

Superkitty - fantastic re scan    I only have 4 follicles so 12 sounds like a lot   


Afm -  have taken trigger shot and ec is planned for Friday morning. 


Sleep well


xXx


----------



## Pollypoppet

Morning ladies, how is everyone today? Hoping for good days for you all.

Reb - woohoo, enjoy your injection free day today and lots and lots of luck for tomorrow.  Lots and lots of luck for you EC tomorrow. In the end you know you only need one good one, I'm in a similar boat to you and that's what I'm pinning my hopes on! Hope you're feeling recovered from your fall.

Superkitty - well done on that scan, sounds like your body has been working extra hard, great result for you. Take it easy.

Bannyb - finally starting. Good news and all the best with it this time. And fingers crossed for the bleeding for you.

Chandlerino - how are you today? Hope you're doing ok.

AFM - went in for EC on tuesday and managed to get 4 eggs (one more than we were expecting so very pleased!). Embryologist called yesterday to say they were all mature and 3 had fertilised woohoo. So now I just have to wait to see how they did overnight and may get called in for the transfer this afternoon or tomorrow. With age and failed cycles I really want all 3 transferred if they make it but I'm sure the Doc will try to talk me out of it. With the numbers we get we'll not get any to freeze I'm sure, so it seems a waste not to give all three a go. 

Hi to anyone I've missed x


----------



## de_vi

Pollypoppet, go for the 3! I had similar - 6 collected, 3 fertilised and had all 3 put back (by now, after all failed cycles etc even my DP understands the odds and supported that decision) - and we got BFP, with one. So don't let them talk you out of it! Good luck!


----------



## reb363

Wow Pollypoppet - that's great news!        Everythings crossed for you.  You'll know the right thing to do when the crunch time comes and I think they do let 3 back at our age don't they - fingers crossed.


----------



## urbangirl

Ladies, just popping by to post this article, I've said it a million times- it's the sperm!! our eggs are just fine!!!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2232989/MEN-blame-cases-unexplained-infertility--new-test-help-couples-succeed.html

(title is "Men are to blame for most cases of unexplained infertility- but a new test could help couples succeed" I know it's not a blame game, but what the heck!!)

Haven't kept up, but      to everyone waiting to find out how many follicles they're got and those on the 2ww.

/links


----------



## Chandlerino

Pollypoppet - well done girl - go for 3....

Urbangirl - thanks for this was explaining to DH about this and he wants to get it done as its 100 euros at the clinic we used in the Czech Republic. Don't suppose you know if the test can be done on sperm that has been frozen as we have 5 straws frozen with the clinic?

AFM devestated with our BFN and AF arrived today :-(


----------



## urbangirl

Chandlerino, I'm so sorry you got a bfn, we all invest so much in this, it just never gets easier.    How much heartache can all of us take?
Re the test, we had DNA fragmentation done on my DP's frozen, so I'm sure you can.  But what exactly is the test they offer at Reprofit, is it that one?  I think the one in the article should be a newer version, but the fragmentation is still good, for instance we wouldn't need to do a more detailed test because the one we did showed us there was a problem anyway.  The annoying thing is, they have to kill the sperm to do the test in the first place, so they can see clearly which are the damaged ones and which are good- but not much help for your cycle if the good ones are dead as well.  I think it is really worth doing, and worth knowing if there is an issue there.  I'm doing IVf with whatever sperm support is available (!) but if I decided to do an IUI I'd have to go for donor.
xx


----------



## SuperKitty

Afternoon ladies, hope everyone is doing ok today  

Fififi - nice to see you, how are things going with you?  I worked out that actually (with travel to and from the train station) actually it's an 8-hour round trip to CARE..(sigh).  But hopefully only a couple more trips to make.  It was the nearest (or the only?  I can't remember  ) place to us that did the Array CGH screening...and also they do have some good stats for 40+'s.  

De_vi and queen-bee - you will come back and tell us how your scans went, won't you?  Really hope everything is going ok and you're not too stressed out.  

Bannyb - did you start stimming yet?  It must seem like an ETERNITY!  I DRegged for just over 3 weeks and it seemed to drag on forever, so you have my sympathy!  Hope you got to start today.  Sorry if I was insensitive (to anyone!) by moaning about my follies   - it's just that I came to this thread from the Oct/Nov cycle buddies thread where everyone seems to be a lot younger and producing millions of follies and eggs, so I compared myself to them.  I should know better, sorry  

Reb363 - hope your egg collection went/goes ok today!  Thinking of you  

Pollypoppet -   on the lovely eggs - and what a great fertilisation rate!  Keeping my fingers crossed for good developments.

Urbangirl - thanks for that article; interesting!  I've sent the link to my friends who have unexplained IF.

AFM, my trigger shot went ok last night (despite me nearly forgetting it - that's what you get for getting engrossed in Rolf's Animal Clinic  ) although I did bleed a little more than usual afterwards...not too much, hopefully I just hit a little capillary or something.  We're leaving for Nottingham later on this afternoon when DH gets home - staying in a hotel on the same business park that the clinic is on tonight, so that we can get there for our 8.30 EC (and hopefully hydrosalpinge drainage) slot tomorrow morning.  Wish me luck ladies.   

Thinking of all of us who are on this long and difficult journey


----------



## fififi

superkitty - will be thinking of you tomorrow & crossing fingers & toes for you      

AFM: I'm surviving just! Still struggling to accept that even after 3 IVF cycles in last year that's it and story ends without the happy ending. Hoping we discover a wad of cash and/or get a natural miracle but in reality I guess will need to look at how to find closure.


----------



## Pollypoppet

Super kitty - enjoy your night in the hotel, hope you are able to treat yourself to a nice meal and arrive relaxed at the Clinic in the morning. All the best for EC, keeping fingers crossed for lots of lovely eggs for you.

Fififi - big hug for you. Be good to yourselves, you don't have to make any decisions yet if you don't want to. Enjoy every moment with your little girl xx

Chandlerino - big hug to you too xx

Reb - hope your EC went smoothly


----------



## bannyb

SK just wanted to wish loads of luck for the morning. I will be thinking of you     
Fififi sending you a big   too
AFM I just injected my first dose of gonal f! Feeling totally poo and in bed with d+v bug though   
Hi to everyone else, sorry for lack of personals, feel so unwell, will do more over the weekend


----------



## Pollypoppet

Bannyb - hope this next stage goes well, sorry you're feeling so rotten, hope it gets better soon x


----------



## Pollypoppet

O Reb I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you this time. Give that wee boy of yours lots of big hugs and look after yourself Hun. Xx


----------



## BECKY7

Hey reb363
I am so so sorry to hear you couldn't take the risk  as maybe have a break and see how you feel and if you still feel the same after new year then as least you know as maybe it was the wrong month for you to have a bad reaction for the fall to happen. Otherwise could you not think about fostering or adoption  as I know there are hundreds of babies looking for a lovely family.
Becky7 xx


----------



## bannyb

SK I don't expect you to be reading this today, but have been thinking of you, hope it all went well and got everything crossed for a good fertilisation rate   

Pollypoppet, thanks for your kind words. I think you must have had your transfer now? Did you have 3 put back? Hope it all went well and enjoy being PUPO! I'm sending lots of  and  that they stick  

Reb, I can totally understand you saying you have too much to lose, your son is one lucky little boy, enjoy each other  I hope it doesn't take you too long to recover from this round of medication, stress and probably some heart ache. Look after yourself  

Fififi, chandler, de_vi, Becky, UG and anyone else I've missed, big hello! 

AFM, still bleeding and trying not to worry, still got D&V, but cheering as stimming!! On day 2, woohoo!


----------



## bannyb

Any advice greatly appreciated here... do you think this d+v will affect my cycle? I've had it since Friday with no signs of improvement, it's just pouring out of me (sorry if tmi there). I assume if I let it run its course it will have gone by another few days but will my body be ok for a GA and I'm supposed to be stocking up on protein and can't actually eat anything. What do you all think?


----------



## Pollypoppet

Hi bannyb, so sorry you're still feeling rotten. 

Im not medically qualified. Why not try your clinic's emergency out of hours number? They should be able to advise. At least it's early days in the stims so  you'll have a chance to up your proteins when you can. Fluids too when you can as you'll be really dehydrated. You can get stuff from the chemist to rehydrate you and even stop you being sick. Sorry so basic, as I say medicines not my strong point. Fingers crossed for you xx

O thanks for asking, fine here, yes we did have the three put back. Clinic were happy to and said they wouldn't recommend if they thought triplets were a possibility. Definitely didnt want to waste one after working so hard to get the three!


----------



## reb363

I had exactly the same and was told by my consultant that the critical thing was to be hydrated so to keep rehydrating with fluid, BannyB. Don't worry better before ec than after


----------



## reb363

Ps thanks Becky   still feeling like I've let my son down horribly.


----------



## BECKY7

Oh reb  no you haven't let him down silly as like I say just take time out and see how you feel as you might change your mind after new year or applied for fostering or adoption.
Becky7 xx


----------



## SuperKitty

Morning ladies! I can't go very far back as am on my phone, but just wanted to say     to you Reb.  A difficult decision to make  

Polly, congratulations on being PUPO! Fingers crossed for a positive result   

Banny, sorry you're feeling a bit crook.  Did you manage to get any medical advice? I'd say the best thing is to try and stay hydrated, maybe get some of those rehydration salts from the chemist. Eat bland foods like bread, rice etc to try and bung you up a bit - I think sometimes the body gets a bit 'overactive' when it's trying to get rid of something and keeps going long after whatever it is (bug etc.) is gone...maybe some Imodium if they say its ok and doesn't have any contraindications with the drugs? Poor you, not what you need right now    

AFM, my egg collection went well yesterday and they got 7 eggs AND managed to drain my Fallopian tubes, so we can proceed with this cycle.  I felt like absolute POOP yesterday and the three + hour drive home was no fun at all, even though DH avoided all the bumps he could.   But I'm feeling a bit better today, going to skip the house renovations and stay close to home and rest.  The best news, though, is that all 7 eggs were mature and all 7 of them have fertilised. Yay! When you're having the Array CGH screening they ICSI all of the eggs but there's no guarantee that they will all fertilise,so we're pleased they have. Now just need to wait for the call tomorrow to see how (or if!) they're dividing..

Have a nice lazy Sunday ladies, take care of yourselves    xx


----------



## bannyb

SK.. wonderful news!!! Reading that has made my day! You must be over the moon!   That they all do well over night and that you feel nice and rested over the next day or two in preparation for ET    


Thanks everyone for the kind words and advice, I'm trying to keep as hydrated as my body will allow anything to stay in it. Will aim to eat some bland food today. Have just rang the emergency number as you suggested Polly and someone is going to ring me back later.


----------



## LellyLupin

Good luck Superkitty thats brilliant news!


----------



## fififi

reb -     - sorry to see you didn't feel like you could go ahead but it is important you feel 100%, especially when you're doing this alone. I think it was a brave step of you to pause this cycle and am sure given a bit more time it'll all work out for the best and hopefully if you try another cycle you won't react to the drugs so badly.
Enjoy knowing that your LO is there for you and although right now you feel like you've let him down in a few weeks/months you'll feel that less. (On getting BFN a month ago the thing that I felt the worst about was that I'd let my DD down as this was to be our last cycle and she'd always hate me for not giving her a sibling. I still feel bad about that, and always will, but at the same time I know I've tried by best and the main reason we are stopping is that we owe it to her to start living our "now lives" and not spend all nonessential cash on TX.)

bannyb - hoping your d&v stops soon. So not what you needed right now - but as others have said it's better now than after ET. Wishing you a solid tum soon    

superkitty - WOW!!!! That's amazing news, you must be ecstatic! Am so pleased they got so many eggs and managed to sort your tubes out. Definitely worth the long trips now. Hope the embryos stay good for you    

Hugs to anyone else cycling right now


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## SuperKitty

Morning ladies!

Bannyb - how you doing today?  I was thinking about you last night - did you hear back from the clinic about what to do re. the D&V?  

Fififi and lesleylupin - hi!   thanks for your kind wishes

AFM, 6 of the 7 embies are dividing ok - but the 7th is already at 6 cells so developing way too fast.  Re. the others, they said that half of them are good grade 2's (I need to look up what the grades are and whether that's good or not!) and the other half are slightly fragmented but may still be viable.  So...tentatively hopeful at this point!    

Have a good day ladies,   to everyone xx


----------



## Pollypoppet

Super kitty, that is absolutely brilliant news all round. Great numbers, fab fertilisation rate, grade 2 sounds good to me and such good news that you can proceed this cycle as you hoped. Well done you!

Babby b -I really hope that horrid bug is out if your system by now, and you soon have your strength back. It will have taken it out of you so definitely try to take it really easy if you can.


----------



## bannyb

Thanks for thinking of me SK, fififi and Pollyp, I'm feeling a bit better today as things seemed to have slowed down, feel wiped out but definitely on the mend   The clininc rang back and said that all should be fine as I am injecting the meds so they don't need to get absorbed through my stomach so should still be working and that I should be OK for the rest of the cycle providing it settles soon but they'll know more when I go in for my scan on friday. I'm able to rest in bed today as ds is at nursery so taking it easy for a few hours   I've got a new worry now (don't say anything!!) cos I'm still bleeding after 16 days, I had assumed it would stop once started stimming but doesn't seem to be letting up.. really think this cycle is beginning to feel doomed. I'll get on to the clinic again about it but think I'll wait until tomorrow to see if a few days of stims makes any difference. Blimey, it's one worry after another here! 
Great news about your follies! It sounds as if everything is going to go ahead for you, after all your worry, what lovely news! If I'm honest I don't really know what the different grades all mean, and I tried to look it up during my last round but there seem to be different scales for different clinics so I just got even more confused! If they say they're good then I'm sure they are, it sounds good to me, so great news and lots of   that all continues to go well   
Hi to everyone else!


----------



## SuperKitty

Banny, I just had a quick poke around on the internet (am supposed to be working, but 'meh') and it seems like spotting/bleeding whilst stimming is pretty common - often leftover AF.  You have until ET to build up a healthy lining, tons of time.


----------



## hjanea

Superkitty- so pleased they managed to drain your tubes and it sounds like your embies are doing well
Banny- sorry you seem to be going from one thing to another- hope the bleeding stops before too long and that your bug goes.
Hi to everyone else!!
AFM- my 2ww seems to be lasting forever and I'm a dreadful symptom spotter even though I know is all down to the hormones!!


----------



## bannyb

Thanks for looking that up for me SK  it seems to have pretty much stopped today so fingers crossed my lining will start to thicken up now. How are you doing? Have you had further news on your embies? Is it your transfer tomorrow? Will be thinking of you and sending lots of  and sticky  

Hi hjanea, thanks for your kind words  I hope you are doing OK? The 2 ww is a killer isn't it, so hard not to symptom spot too! Hope that it soon passes for you and  you get your dream. When is OTD?

Hello everyone else! Hope the week is going well for you all?

AFM The bug seems to have finally given up and so has the bleeding pretty much so great relief all round. I saw the GP earlier and then had accupuncture and they both put my mind at rest that all is not lost and it won't massively affect things so I am finally starting to relax and not worry so much!


----------



## hjanea

Hi Banny- pleased you are feeling better and more reassured.
My OTD is monday- 16d3dt!! People on my cycle buddies thread with similar OTDs are testing already but I think I'd rather sit in my hopeful little bubble for a bit longer.


----------



## SuperKitty

That's great news Banny!! Now you can relax a bit   Whens your first scan set for, now that you're finally  stimming?

Hjanea - I'm with you on that! If I'm lucky enough to get some embys on board, I think I'll wait till the OTD. Have you had any symptoms in your 2ww? I never got to have the 2ww on our first cycle (started bleeding 2 days after ET and basically didn't stop  ) but I think it's going to be a difficult wait. Hoping for a giant BFP for you on Monday     

AFM, as of this morning we had 5 embys developing well - one of which is a grade 1 (woo hoo! My first ever!) and ET is planned for Thursday.  But it will all depend on the Array CGH results, which don't come back until Thursday morning! So really just a waiting game...I'm trying not to over think it but I have a very vivid imagination...dreamed last night that someone knocked a table over at CARE and all my embys went on the floor    I am NOT enjoying the clexane injections at all - the needles are really blunt which supposedly is the norm, but makes em even less fun than the 'normal' injections.

Hope everyone is doing ok,   to all xx


----------



## bannyb

hjanea.. hopeful bubbles are a lovely safe place to be so sit in it and enjoy being PUPO until Monday when hopefully you'll lose the UPO and become a nice big P! Will be   a lot for you   
SK I have definitely relaxed.. a lot! My scan is on Friday, I would have been chomping at the bit for it normally but in view of the last 5 days I am going to be grateful of the time before EC to try to build myself back up a bit. Wow, your embies are doing really well, such fab news! I (obviously) can't count to 5, I thought 5 days from the 17th was today, doh! Of course your ET is tomorrow. I hadn't heard of the Array CGH test before, have just looked it up on their website and it looks fantastic, lucky you for being with them.. is that why you chose to go there? Laughing!.. dreams are hilarious sometimes    I am sure your embies are tucked up tightly in an incubator, soon to be tucked up tightly in you   Clexane injections sound horrid, can't imagine why they need blunt needles, keep thinking of how they're helping though. How long do you have to take them for? Hope the news is good and you're good to go in the morning


----------



## hjanea

Bannyb- thanks for the good wishes!! Hope you are making some good  follies with great eggs in them .

Superkitty- hope everything goes well for you tomorrow. I'm sure they won't really drop all your embies on the floor!!!

Oh yes I have symptoms- but are they the progesterone, are they real or are they all in my head?
I have a heightened sense of smell (which I had with DD and a chem pg), and night leg cramps as well as the usual AF type twinges, tiredness, erotic dreams and sore boobs. Oh and I'm thirsty. But I'm quite aware that they could all be down to the medication.
I may test at the weekend as saturday will be 2 weeks since ET so should be an accurate test. But If I'm not feeling like its worked I'll probably leave it until sunday when DD is out for a few hours so that if its a bfn I can get over my disappointment before I tell her as she will be very upset.


----------



## Indigo2

Hi, mind if I join the thread? I'm 41, with an AMH of under 0.7, and down regging for my second ICSI. My clinic down regs for 4 weeks as standard. Although it feels like forever I'm going to ask to down reg an extra week, so the egg collection etc is over my Xmas hols. Do u think down regging for 5 weeks is a bit barmy? X


----------



## Pollypoppet

Hi indigo and welcome to the thread, you'll find lots of help and support here whenever you need it.
I've never down regged really as always been a short protocol so can't really advise on that. You are lucky that your clinic is able to do collections over the Christmas holidays: the first one I was at closed for about 4 weeks! Even the one I'm at now closes for a couple of weeks for collections. So if it can fit with your holidays that's brilliant.

Hjanea - nearly there! Enjoy the bubble, but hopefully it will have a happy ending too. I felt like that last time, was wishing test date further away! A bit more impatient this time for some reason! I haven't had any symptoms at all. 

Babbyb - lad you're finally starting to feel better and getting your strength back.

Super kitty - lots of luck for tomorrow, be thinking of you

Hi to everyone else, hope you're doing ok.


----------



## Louisej29

Hey all

Thought I'd join the thread!  I'm 40 and on my 2nd ivf/icsi go at the lister in London.  We had a failed cycle back in august and am now on the 2ww desperately hoping that at least one of the little 3 has managed to stick! The wait is torturous ! 

Trying to take it easy and relax but just feel af is imminent!  No preg symptons at all ! Hope I'm wrong! 
Good luck to everyone!

Louise


----------



## Pollypoppet

Hi Louise, welcome to this friendly thread! There are a few of us cycling at the moment.

I too am on the 2ww, trying to keep busy and impatient to test, yet just trying to enjoy this stage for what it is and hang on to the hope that this might be the one! I don't have any symptoms either, but not to concerned about that as its too early. I know when I was pregnant last time I wasn't aware of any symptoms till I started expanding at about 14weeks.

How long do you have to wait till test date? Mine's 30th November and although I'm dead against early testing I might do it a day early this time as having the info would help me out arranging my work. Won't  help if its negative though!

All the best for your treatment, fingers crossed for you.


----------



## Louisej29

His
Thanks for your reply!
Monday 26th is results day ! Like you I'm wondering whether to test a day early... Last time I waited the full 14 days and then went to pieces when it was negative!  Really hoping it will be the one now but not feeling too optimistic... 
Trying to enjoy my extra 2 weeks off work!
Good luck for the 30th.  
Xxx


----------



## bannyb

SK when you read this you'll be PUPO! Congratulations!!    (Hoping that the array cgh tests came back OK?) Enjoy, and hope the next couple of weeks aren't too torturous!   that they snuggle in nice and deeply and stick for you   How many have you put back in?
Welcome Indigo and Louise   Loads of luck to you both, will be following your progress and   for positive news for you both. Indigo I down regged for 3 and a half weeks before starting stims this time, it just dragged and dragged! Well done you if you can go another week on top of your 4 weeks. I guess if you've made the decision yourself then it's not so hard to deal with! 
Hjanea and Polly   really hope you're both hanging on in there and getting some rest too so your little embies can burrow and grow   Hjanea, I expect I'll be on here tomorrow but just in case I'm not then I wanted to say that I have got absolutely everything crossed for you for Saturday, sending lots of    
Hi fififi, chandler, lesley, Becky, Reb and everyone else! I hope you are all doing OK?   
AFM I am feeling so much better now, phew! I am counting down the hours until my first scan tomorrow (OMG I'm going to be useless on the 2ww!!) and hoping there are some follies growing nicely, I hate this first scan as I'm a poor responder so normally it's not very good news, but fingers crossed!


----------



## Louisej29

Fingers crossed for your scan tomorrow, it's all such a nerve wrecking process trying to cross each hurdle!  Hopefully the follies will be growing nicely! Where abouts are you having your treatment!?


----------



## Indigo2

Thanks for the welcomes, and empathy to those on the two week wait.  I'm trying to plan strategies to get through it ahead of time, as I am really dreading it.  I was told that if I down reg for 5 weeks I'll run the risk of shutting down my ovaries, which, of course, I suspected might be the case.  The problem is that my son's birthday party is on the day where egg collection is likely to fall hmmmm.


----------



## Pollypoppet

Indigo how typical that EC would be on the same day you have something arranged.  I think it can vary by a day or two though so you might be lucky and avoid that day.Is  it worth the risk of shutting your ovaries down too much? Hopefully your clinic have some good advice. Good luck.


----------



## Pollypoppet

Super kitty, hope everything went well today.


----------



## SuperKitty

Hey ladies! Welcome Indigo and Louise  

Banny - I will be.    that your scan is good tomorrow, do let us know won't you? How are you getting on with the stimming anyway - are you on menopur or gonal-f or something else?

Polly and Hjanea, hope everything is good with you   Can I be nosy and ask what progesterone support (if any) you're on? I was on 200mg of Utrogestan twice a day, but they have doubled it today to 'better support my luteal phase' ....I am SO hoping that wont double the side effects, they are MISERaBLE   Hjanea was it you that was having erotic dreams? I could do with some side effects like that!!! Mine are all very unglamourous (cramps, constipation, bloating like a barrel, sore boobs..   ). Just wondering about the doubling..I guess they are trying to ensure that what happened on my first go doesn't happen again.

AFM, as of this afternoon I have one chromosomally perfect emby (who has been nicknamed Mickey) on board.  Woo hoo!! 4 of the 5 came back as chromosomally abnormal - and interestingly enough, it wasn't the grade 1 emby which was the perfect one - it turned out to be one of the grade 2's.  If we hadn't had the array CGH then we would obviously have gone for the grade 1 and one of the grade 2's. Makes you think, doesn't it?! Oh and Banny, yes, that was why we went to CARE Nottingham specifically - we wanted to be sure one way or the other that it was actually worth us continuing to try? We figured that if we couldn't make chromosomally perfect embys, then at least we could draw a line under it and move on to plan b.  

Have a good evening ladies,   to all xx


----------



## hjanea

Congratulations on being PUPO Superkitty- hope Micky is snuggling in nicely.

I've had 3 failed dfets using cyclogest pessaries-with bleeding before otd twice, so this time I'm on prontogest injections which are rather painful but seem to be keeping af at bay so far. I don't know if the things I'm experiencing are due to absorbing more progesterone or that it might have worked. My sense of smell has been bonkers today and some of the smells-chocolate cake cooking (?-usually yummy) have really turned my stomach over and I've been retching a little when drinking water (which is something that I couldn't tolerate when pg with DD)so have had to have ribeana. So if I was ttc naturally I'd be really excited by now but it may have been my natural progesterone when pg with DD that caused these things-in which case its the injections causing it now!! Arrgghhh-its so hard.


----------



## warey

Supperkitty, that pretty much concurs with alot of anecdotal information: women getting preg from their not so perfect embies, rather than the best looking ones!


----------



## Pollypoppet

Super kitty that great news, congratulations and enjoy the PUPO stage!

I too bled before OTD first go on cyclogest suppositories. Second time I was tested for progesterone 7 days after EC and found to be low so went onto Prontogest injections every other day as well as cyclogest pessaries.

So this time I went into the Prontogest injections straight after EC every other day, as well as crinone gels. Unfortunately I was still low day 7 past EC so I'm now up to Prontogest injections every day plus crinone gels morning and night. As hjanea said they're not that pleasant, some people really suffer with them especially after a few days and you run out if places to jab. But if it helps I guess it's worth it! Are they testing your level this time?


----------



## Indigo2

Pollypoppet - thanks for the good wishes.  The clinic have arranged for me to do 4 1/2 weeks of down regs, and I thought that if they are going to do 4 1/2 I might as well do 5 weeks.  After this cycle I am moving to the Lister where I can start down regging on day 2, and just do 10 days down regulation.  It just seems totally wrong to down reg for this long, so I am keen to try something else next time.

BannyB - good luck with tomorrow's scan.  Relate very much to the poor responding. My previous ivf the scans took ages, as the doctor desperately looked around for follicles, and then usually another doctor would also come in for a look too.

Louise - Monday 26 must feel eons away! If you have tips re the Lister please do let me know, as I planning to move there after this cycle.  

Wow superkitty! Chromosomal perfection! You must be over the moon.  Really happy for you, and totally wowed by the fantastic science.  I thought about going to CARE manchester to have this looked at, but ultimately decided that as I am only likely to produce 2 or 3 embryos I might as well just put them all and hope for the best. I'm in London, so the travel would be quite substantial. Will they only transfer the chromosomally perfect embryo, or will they put another one in as well?  I read a study that found top embryo grading was only correlated with implantation, but not birth rate as top grade embryos are as likely to be chromosomal abnormal as lower grade embryos.  I've asked several doctors about it, and basically they have said 'well we have to choose the embryos on something, and the grading is the best we've got'


----------



## Louisej29

Hey everyone

Indigo... We have found lister quite good, everyone has been really helpful, taken time to explain things etc etc. had our first ivf/icsi there in aug, and tho it didn't work we were more than happy to do round 2 there. If this one doesn't work not sure what we will do, more than likely stay at lister but may well look at other big ones in London for a change.  Hard to know what to do for the best really! 

Superkitty  .. Re prog support... Using cyclogest pesseries at the mo, twice a day. Can't say I've really had any effects from them so who knows if they are working or not

Also I am on steroids (5 a day!) which is meant to help With the immune system rejecting the embryo... Which I was told was a possible reason for ivf one failing.... Side effects are meant to be insomnia but I seem to be the opposite and just feel constantly drugged and jet lagged! 

Good luck with Micky!! Fingers crossed!

Only 3 more days to wait for me.  Feels like its been an eternity.  If its bad news I will drown my sorrows.. Almost forgotten what wine tastes like its been so long! 

Night all. Fingers crossed for you all! Xx


----------



## bannyb

Hi everyone, sorry for lack of personals here, I'll catch up at the weekend. Had my scan this morning and feeling disappointed, though not surprised, only 2 follies on the right and possibly a third one on the left but the left ovary was difficult to see and she thought it may well have been a blood vessel not a follicle she could see   So looks like only 2 again this cycle even with the massive increase in stims. They are both looking good at 15 and 16mm so just have to say a little prayer and hope they contain eggs and go on to fertilise. Feeling very despondent


----------



## Louisej29

Hi bannyb

Sorry to hear the scan didn't go quite as you hoped and you're feeling down. BUT. It only takes one and you have 2 )poss3) of a good size. ... Keep your fingers crossed and keep the faith!!  God knows its hard but keep strong! Hope you've got something nice planned at the w end to take your mind off it a bit!

L xxx


----------



## SuperKitty

Banny - don't be despondent    it only takes one - and the fact that they're at such a good size after only 8 (8?) days stimming means they are responding well, doesn't it? Are they going to scan again before EC?

Hjanea, I'm no expert but that sounds like pg to me! Not long now until OTD, I will be thinking of you at the weekend    

Louise - no side effects from the progesterone? Jealous!!!

Indigo - that does seem like a long time to DR. With the ArrayCGH they'll only put in chromosomally perfect ones..so Thursday morning was a but tense, waiting for the test results. There could have been none   But luckily there was Mickey so we set off straight away.  We live in Norfolk so the round trip is about 6 hours in the car (or 8 on the train end to end, when I was going up and down for scans every few days!) which was knackering but we think it was worth it in the end. Apart from the ArrayCGH, our experience there was so different than at Bourn Hall, it has really been positive. 

AFM, not much to report - except no blood! That might sound odd but last time I started spotting today, and then it just got heavier and heavier - so the embys never got a chance to stick   I feel like a milestone has been passed - silly, but there you go.  I am still bloated and crampy, but trying to think positive (normally I'm a bit of a negative thinker - or a realist, as I prefer to put it   ) so am listening to the zita west relaxation thingies and trying not to stress too much. Difficult  

Off to the ballet a bit later on which'll be a nice distraction. Hope everyone has a nice relaxed evening!


----------



## hjanea

Banny- hope they are the best quality eggs ever.
Kitty-so pleased you haven't bled. Hope you have a relaxing time at the ballet.
I've continued with similar 'symptoms' today I very nearly tested at 4am when I went to the loo but manged to resist. Just one more morning pee to go and then I'll test on sunday. It'll be 15dp3dt so should be accurate. I'm not looking forward to it TBH- would be if I knew what I was experiencing might be down to the prontogest. Anyway it'll have to be done.
Hope everyone has a good evening.


----------



## bannyb

Thanks Louise, SK and hjanea, you're all right, it does only take one and they might be good ones even if there are only a couple so I've just about got my head round it now... fingers crossed! Sorry about that, even though I know I don't get a good response I had somehow imagined that there would be more this time as my dose is so huge.. silly me! I think it's just meant the ones that are there have developed quite quickly. Yes, SK I'm having another scan on Monday and then going in on Wed or Thurs. I'm hoping it'll be sooner rather than later as I don't want the ones I have got to get too big or I might lose them, but I am trusting they know best! I asked again about progesterone support but they still keep saying twice daily cyclogest is all I need even with my bleeding before OTD and miscarriages, but they have told me to take aspirin too. I feel like being naughty and doubling my cyclogest dose and then asking the GP for a prescription for some more for the last week. 

HJanea have you tested? I woke up thinking about you this morning, I'm   it's good news for you   

SK well done for passing that milestone, I am sure it must be a great relief! I hope the ballet was lovely and managed to distract you, which ballet did you see? Where in loevly Norfolk are you? I come from Norfolk, would love to move back but no chance of that with hubbies work, but miss it after living there for 35 years. 

Louise, I hope you are doing OK? Are you going to manage to hang out until Monday or going for it tomorrow? Which ever I will be thinking of you and sending lots of   for good news   

Polly, I hope you're managing OK with the 2 ww, not long to go until the 30th now! Lots of   being sent your way   

Indigo, have you managed to decide what to about your dr? I think you might be OK for your son's party as things always seem to change by a day or two...or a lot more in my case!! It's tricky planning for anything during this isn't it, so I sympathise as it must be hard with your sons party coming up as it's not like you can ask him to put it on hold!

Hi to everyone else!

Take care everyone and enjoy your weekend


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## Louisej29

Hey all hope you are all doing ok.  

Banny.  Lots of luck for your scan on Monday. I hope all goes well! I'm on the aspirin too.  Also steroids.  Have you asked about going on steroids!? My consultant is convinced they will help... Who knows!? 

Hjanea... Not long until your test.  Wishing you sooooooo much luck. I bet nerves are setting in now. We are both beginning to feel it with our results day Monday.  Still in my nice little bubble of.. Maybe just maybe ...at the mo and hoping my world won't come crashing down around me (again) mon morn!  

Think I will hold out until Monday and not test early ( as tempting as it is!) 

Sk.. Hope youre doing ok and keeping positive.  What's the zita west thing!? Have seen that mentioned a few times!? 

Have a good w end all and keeping fingers crossed for good news for us all... Wouldn't that just be the most perfect Xmas present!?!

Love Louise xx


----------



## Indigo2

BannyB - I think the saving grace of scans during stims is that they are so frequent that you don't have to wait too long for the next one.  They didn't really see your left ovary either, so that is quite unknown at this stage.  Do you know which is your dominant ovary?  Also bear in mind that there is a whole school of thought that says that if you have fewer eggs they are likely to be better quality.  

Louise - do you recommend any doctors at the Lister?  

Louise, Pollypoppet and Hjanea- what are you doing to get through the 2WW?  I suppose it all comes down to doing things that make time pass without you noticing.  Mind you a minute can seem like eternity on the 2ww.  Fingercrossed for you all!

Superkitty - hope all is well with Mickey.  I was thinking what an amazing position you are in.  I'm sure you will anyway, but I guess you don't really have to do the nucal fold and amino.  I am now seriously considering going to CARE for my next cycle, as I imagine it will cut down on worry for your whole pregnancy (i.e. the worry about higher incidence of disabilities in babies born to over 40s etc, misscarriage etc).  Was the genetic screening expensive?  Did they analyse the polar body (I think that is what it is called?).  I was told that CARE manchester was the clinic where they had all the innovative testing, but that was by someone who worked there, so he was possibly biased.  Would you still make the effort to go to CARE even if you knew that you would only get 2 embryos?

Oh the trails and tribulations of it all!


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## Louisej29

Hi indigo.  We had 2 different consultants each time, dr thom- and dr James.  Both very good and we felt at ease and confident with both.  We were also impressed with the embryologists who seemed very thorough and knowledgable.  We saw George and emma! Haven't come across anyone poor there.  

What are the advantages of the CARE places??

Have also been having acupuncture through it all.  Wasn't sold on it at first but now truly do think it helps with the lining of the uterus etc.  will now try anything!


----------



## SuperKitty

Hi ladies

Hjanea, am SO impressed with your willpower and will be thinking of you tomorrow morning! I have a good feeling about your test, what with the retching when drinking water and super-sense-of-smell!    

Banny - think quality not quantity! And try to relax until EC...easy to say, I know! As soon as I did my trigger shot, I was convinced that they would all start popping out and I wouldn't have any left by the time EC came around   We are currently living just outside Dereham, but are renovating our new house in Ditchingham, just outside Bungay.  I'm a Norwich girl originally though. How about you?

Louise - hang on in there till Monday   How are you feeling? The Zita West thing is a cd I bought (although I think you can buy it on iTunes now - I transferred mine onto my iPhone so I can listen to it anywhere) that has three (four?) narrated relaxation sessions - one for pre ET, one for post ET and one for the 2ww.  Her voice is soooo lovely...I must admit I often fall asleep but I'm sure it's going in subconsciously  

Indigo - yes, I think that means that IF we are lucky and Mickey sticks   then there are a lot of things that we shouldn't have to worry about that. Theoretically! I haven't started thinking that far ahead yet, I daren't!! It was VERY expensive though - at least as expensive as the IVF cycle if not a bit more, from what I can remember. But we felt it was worth it so we knew whether it was worth us continuing to try with IVF or not.  They take a biopsy of one cell from each viable embryo one day three, and then the results came back on day 5 (also the day of transfer).  We will see whether it pays off...  

AFM, still no blood! Woo hoo!! By this point last time (2dp5dt) AF was in full flow.  So every day is a milestone and a miracle, for me! We spent the day with builders and plumbers and electricians at our new house...I didn't lift a finger, just talking re. quotes and stuff (I was sledgehammering out units a couple of weeks ago!) but was still exhausted by halfway through the day. I'm so wiped out at the moment, it's silly! Glad to get back home this afternoon.

Anyway, time to watch some rubbish tv...enjoy your Saturday night ladies


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## fififi

evening all ...
... no longer a current cycler but popping in every now & then to see how those I'd "met" previously are doing. Wishing everyone lots of luck though        

bannyb -    try not to worry as on all my cycles despite 450mg of menopur and no down reg phase the last two times I've hardly had any follicles. In fact I've gone into ET against clinic's limit of 2 minimal twice!!! My positive cycle only produced 4 eggs and 2 of these made it to blasts.
The follicles you have are a great size and although it's hard you need to keep believing that your dream CAN be reached     
PS. Don't know if you see an acupuncturist but if you do then mine did a special treatment about 5 days into stims to promote follicle growth. It involved lots of ear points but seemed to do the trick!!!

superkitty - congrats on being PUPO - really crossing everything that Mickey sticks    
ArrayCGH is expensive but the fact you've managed to get a perfect embie out of the process is brilliant and I'm sure that will help decrease anxiety. How mad that in "normal" IVF Mickey may never have been picked!!!


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## Pollypoppet

Evening all, just wanted to see how you were all doing, and say hi.

Super kitty, glad you're taking it easy, let the others get on wih the hard work, and hopefully for about the next nine months too! 

Louise, nearly there now. I get to the last couple of days and actually want time to stand still, having spent the past couple of weeks getting impatient about testing! Keeping everything crossed for some good news for you.

Bannyb hope you're doing ok. Re progesterone, I have done a bit of googling and haven't come across anything which says too much progesterone is harmful to either baby or you. And I've certainly heard of ladies on here being increased to three pessaries a day by their consultant. You could always ask for a blood test at 7 days past EC, your clinic might offer it or you could always get it done privately elsewhere. You need somewhere that can give you the result quickly obviously, same day if possible. I say ths because my GP would do the test but it takes a week to get the result!

Hjanea - lots and lots of luck for tomorrow xxxxx

Hi everyone else, hope you're doing ok.

AFM - no news really, just ticking off the days till Friday, I have a seven day pill box with all my pills in it and I'm not refilling any past Thursday so each empty space is a day closer. That probably sounds a bit anal. Ha ha. DH away at the moment working so I've had my hands full looking after our 3year old on my own since tuesday, so thats keeping me nice and busy.

Take care all xx


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## hjanea

I've tested and its a  ! I can't really believe it TBH. I'm going out to get a CB indicator as soon as the shops open. DD is going to be so so excited. Just      that its sticky now.
Thankyou so much for everyones good wishes. I'll be back later. Hope I might be able to get back to sleep at some point!!!


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## warey

Hjanea excellent news!!! Cong           ratulations!!!


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## bannyb

WOOHOO!!!!! Great big dancing banana congratulations!!               I'm over the moon for you hjanea! Will be praying that it's a nice sticky BFP, oh how wonderful, enjoy!! 

SK, you feeling so wiped is a good sign at this stage, hopefully it's Mickey snuggling in tightly  Really pleased there's been no bleeding for you, huge relief no doubt and  there isn't any for the next 9 months. Ah, I'm a north Norfolk gal! Was brought up in Holt and then lived in surrounding villages, but was at school (many moons ago!) in Norwich. I have also being using the Zita West cd whenever I can, if nothing else it's nice and relaxing!

Polly, hang on in there, the 2ww is one of those strange things where a few days can seem like a life time isn't it. Mind you, I can imagine the days pass quickly with your 3 yr old! Mine is 21 months and I really don't know where time goes! Thanks for info on progesterone, that's a good idea about a Blood test, I'll look into it, I'm sure GP would do it but like you say waiting a week for results is no good. 

Indigo I think my right ovary is the dominant one. I have never had a hiding ovary before and it was very clearly seen at my baseline scan so not sure what has made it hide, I'm hoping it isn't an issue during collection. Yes, I'm trying to think quality and not quantity! 

Louise, well done for holding out until tomorrow, will be thinking of you. Loads of  and  being sent your way  I haven't had steroids prescribed for me, Thanks, I'll ask them in the morning! (They're going to wonder where I keep getting all this info from!) 

Hi fififi, thanks, always good to hear that I'm not the only one who always responds like this, and lovely to hear from you, I hope you are OK? Yes, I see an acupuncturist and last time which was day 5 of stims she did electro acupuncture on my ovaries so maybe that's why the ones that have grown are a good size. 


Thanks so much for the support everyone, it really is helping me, I'm very grateful to you all for being here. I'm really trying to stay positive now.  to everyone


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## SuperKitty

Hjanea. YAY!!!! You made me do excited-squeaking-out-loud then. SO happy for you!

Banny - my consultant doubled my progesterone (utrogestan) pessaries at ET, said it was to better support my luteal phase --basically holding AF at bay, which of course I'm happy about. I remember last time reading lots of different threads about people choosing to up their progesterone themselves. I think it's quite common - but the blood test sounds like a great idea, because then you know for sure.

Morning polly, indigo and Louise - hope you have a nice relaxing Sunday ahead of you!

Will be thinking of you tomorrow Louise   

Hey fififi, nice to see you again. How are you feeling nowadays? And yes, isn't it bizarre that mickey could not have been picked, even though he was the only perfect one?! It's a bit  

AFM just finishing a lazy croissants-and-(ptooey)-decaf-coffee breakfast with DH (I hate decaf coffee ) and its cold and windy and rainy out there today - so part from cleaning out the chickens and bit of tidying up I think I'm not going to venture out today! Just stay in and watch tv with the cats on my lap  Still no blood for me - am starting to relax just the tiniest fraction. I guess having constant cramps for the last week or so, without AF arriving, has made me think that maybe she won't 

Have a good day ladies xx


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## SuperKitty

Oops sorry, forgot to say good morning to you Warey - how rude! Good morning, hope you have a lovely Sunday ahead of you


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## Louisej29

Morning all!

What great news to wake up to hjanea! FANTASTIC!!!!!  Soooooo pleased for you, you must be over the moon! Brilliant news!! .... So happy for you xx

Sk.  I'm with you on the decaf coffee thing!  I just LOVE coffee and so miss my nice proper filter coffee and lattes!  Have tried various decafs: none are great but kenco decaf seems to the best and the one I've settled on!  Great that there's still no bleeding! Long may that last!!

Polly p..  Know what you mean about wanting time to stand still when results day is upon you. ! At the moment there is the hope/dream/possibility a little embie is developing inside me. Tomorrow I will know and have to face ivf 3 or I'll be jumping for joy.  Wierd how you wait for a day which is going to bring such extremes of emotion either way!! 

Banny.  Hope your scan goes well tomorrow.  The steroids I've got are prednisolone (5 a day).  Meant to help your immune system not reject an embryo.  Did you decide to double your progesterone in the end?!

Have a great Sunday all !


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## Pollypoppet

Hjanea - wow wow wow fantastic news!!! So so pleased to hear that, I bet you didn't get back to sleep! How did DD react? It's so lovely for you both. Have you worked out your due date yet? O I'm so excited for you xx

Bannyb & Louise - I'm on predniselone steroids too, only 4 a day for me. Hopefully they will help with embryo not being rejected and I feel my mood is much better on them too! Down side is coming off them, you have to taper them slowly, I followed instructions last time but think it was still too quick. Had one day of unusually low and deep depression, couldn't stop crying, everything was just awful and really aching in the joints all over. It's was all listed in the info leaflet and the doc said it was pretty normal, but best to be prepared.

Hi everyone else, enjoy your Sunday x


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## Pollypoppet

Hjanea - do you have beta hcg blood test at your clinic? Now we're all dying to know if its twins (or more!)!!!


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## Louisej29

Pollyp ...  Don't like the sound of the side effects from coming off the steroids.  Sounds nasty!!  I haven't read the leaflet side effects but think I will now!  How long did it take to come off them?  Did you gradually reduce the number taken each day!? 

Hjanea... How are you feeling? Still in a state of happy shock!? Yes you must keep us all posted! Twins would be great hey!!!  I'd love twins!!


Speak soon everyone!


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## BECKY7

Hey hjanea  that fab news  on congrats and go and have a blood test tomorrow morning and many more of BFP to come.
Ladies for for steroid I didn't cut back down as I just completely stop and it only last 2 day to have the shake and that is as I wanted to save my predsione
Becky7 xx


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## Pollypoppet

Hi Louise, yes I was told 3 tablets a day for 3 days, then 2 tablets for 3 days, finally 1 tablet for 3 days before stopping. When I spoke to the doc afterwards about how awful it had been he said you could try cutting one in half (?) to reduce the dose more gradually or stay on each successive reduced dose a day or two longer. They're probably the cheapest drugs in this whole process (apart from the aspirin maybe) so it doesnt really matter how many you use up coming off them, i wouldnt want to go through that again. At least it only really lasted for one day with me so I'll be ready for it next time too. 

Becky I think you're very brave just going cold turkey! Omg you poor thing!


----------



## hjanea

Thanks for all your good wishes. My DD is very excited!!
My clinic just does a urine test and then its the wait for the scan. I had pre eclampsia with DD and had her at 32 weeks so twins would not be good TBH. I had the second embie as it wasn't very good quality-it seems awful to hope it hasn't stuck but I'll feel happier once the scan is out of the way. I've ought some CB indicator tests and I'm now regretting it as I either use pee thats been sat for 10 hours or afternoon pee- should've bought the cheap tests instead. Might have to go back to the supermarket!!
I really wanted to test again before I tell my parents at teatime. On the otherhand the pg part of the test should be accurate as I'm 15dp3dt which I think works out as 18 days post ov, so I could just test with afternoon pee as I haven't drunk much so far today. OMG- who knew it could get so complicated!!!!


----------



## BECKY7

Hey polly poppet  it wasn't too bad as like I said it only last for 2 day  as I have completely stop smoking 6 year ago and went cold turkey and that was the worse cold turkey so 2 day not too bad for me.

Hjanea  how lovely to break the news to your parent  so I am sure your HCG still strong enough to test again on your CB  and how exciting to see either 1-2 pregnant or 2-3 pregnant eh

Becky7 xx


----------



## bannyb

Had our final scan this morning, not great news as both ovaries were in full view and only 2 on my right ovary have grown, none at all on my left   Oh well, I knew it wasn't great from Friday so just need to ask if everyone can please say a little prayer for us and hope that they both contain eggs   so hard that they are. They are 19 and 20mm and look a good shape apparently so fingers crossed. 
Louise, I have been thinking of you this morning, I hope that you are OK and have been   for good news for you   
Hjanea, did you manage another test? How exciting for you! I can imagine your parents and daughter are over the moon for you! Congrats again!
Polly, not long to go until Frriday now! Hope it soon passes for you. Also, thanks for the info on the steroids, doesn't sound too pleasant but like you said it's best to be prepared for side effects. I don't think I'm being prescribed any though, just the aspirin and still no joy on upping progesterone support so I think I've decided to do it myself.
Thinking of you SK, hope you're hanging on in there and taking it as easy as you can. 
Hi to everyone else! Hope you're all doing OK


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## fififi

bannyb - crossing legs & arms for you        From small beginnings grow great things!!!!

Also see if consultant will let you have progesterone injections instead of pessaries. I bled early last cycle & at review last week was told the pessaries already contain a much higher amount of progesterone than needed but could just be my body doesn't absorb it that way very well. (My sister who's had numerous mc was only prescribed 1 cyclogest a day, via natural cycle, and that stopped her early bleed. She was also told that inserting them in vagina has been shown to be more effective than anally.)

Hugs & best wishes to all those cyclying currrently


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## Louisej29

Hi all

Bannyb.. Keep positive. They are a good shape and size and, although you wanted the number to be greater which is totally understandable .... It only takes one!! Keeping everything crossed for you,

Polly. Good luck for fri... Sk hope you're doing ok and any update hjanea!?

Well, on my test this morn we got a positive so still in complete shock and over the moon.  Can't really quite believe it.  Trying to stay grounded until the results of the blood test (tomorrow) to see if all is ok.  But to see it saying .. Pregnant ...  The first time in my whole life!!! Was something in itself! 

Our cycle seemed to go wrong from start to end and was far from textbook cycle with lots of probs along the way so just goes to show banny b that all is never lost!  Keep strong

Lots of love to all

L xxx


----------



## bannyb

I'm obviously feeling a little emotional as it has brought tears (happy ones!) to my eyes reading your wonderful news Louise, great BIG congratulations!!! I'm over the moon for you            Well done!!!! Enjoy every minute!
Thanks also for your kind words, I'm really trying to hang on in there and think positively but everything seems to be going from bad to worse... just had a call to say they won't take me in until Thursday as they need to give me extra time as my oestrogen levels are a bit too low at the moment, it's one thing after another


----------



## hjanea

Louise- congratulations!!! It feels very surreal doesn't it?
Banny- .
Clinic have confirmed I'm pg. I've been changed to gestone as the pharmacy there didn't have any prontogest and I used my last one last night. Only problem is thats 2mls rather than 1 so will hurt more!! I've got a provisional scan date of 11th december- the day before I'm 44.!
Banny- 2 out of my previous 3 attempts I've bled before OTD -last time a week before, with pessaries which is why I'm now on injections. They hurt but so far seem to have paid off for me.


----------



## Pollypoppet

Louise, that is amazing fantastic news, congratulations!!!! Another one for the over 40s, just brilliant. YOu must be over the moon, I'm so pleased for you.

Bannyb, saying lots of prayers for you Hun, just a couple of fab quality ones would be brilliant. Quality not quantity. I only got 4 this time(and that was from 3 follies!)

Hjanea, super kitty, becky, fififi,warey, indigo, hope you're doing ok xx sorry to anyone I've missed, not intentional xx


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## Louisej29

Bannyb.  Definitely hang in there.  There have been many times this cycle when I have  been in tears and in despair as it all seemed to be going wrong.  Was kept longer on Stimms than first cycle, then despite getting 14 eggs  within 24 hours we only had 3 surviving embryos which weren't the best!  Put all 3 back in and, against the odds, one has stuck!  Don't give up!! I'm nearly 41 and this is my first ever pregnancy

Keep believing Hun, dreams can come true!!  

Also, think acupuncture helps!!

Hoping the rest of you will be joining me and hjanea on the over 40 successes real soon ! Fingers and toes crossed xx


----------



## SuperKitty

Woo Hoo Louise! That is the most amazing news!!

Banny, those sound perfect - I think your body has been putting all its energies into growing two absolutely perfect eggs rather than a load of duff ones. PMA 

Polly, fififi, Warey, indigo, becky - hi and , hope you're doing ok.

Hjanea, how are you feeling today? Has it sunk in yet?

AFM feeling a bit rubbish today, I seem to have got chilled at some point in the day and can't get warm. Am currently sat with a hot water bottle and blanket on my legs, a fleece and a scarf on and I still feel shivery.  Couldnt eat my dinner (fish, brown rice and veg) not because its so BORING but because it all smelled funny. Huh?!? Struggling to maintain my own PMA today, keep trying to tell myself it's because I'm pg, but the thoughts of it being OHSS or something horrid coming - or AF - keep winning out! Keep your fingers crossed for me ladies  xx


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## BECKY7

Hey Louise  that fab news  and many more of us to have our BFP

Becky7 xx


----------



## Pollypoppet

That's rubbish that you're feeling bad  super kitty, try a shower, it'll be the last thing you feel like but will warm you up! Funny sense of smell....I know what that sounds like and it's not AF or OHSS!  Take care Hun x


----------



## Pollypoppet

Agreed becky, wouldn't it be wonderful if this was the start of a nice long run if BFPs on the oldies thread!


----------



## Chandlerino

Thinking of you bannyb. 

Don't fret pet - I had 2 follies on all my scans and they got 4 eggs at collection - that might be down to Becky7 egging me on and agreeing it was a good idea to give myself the 100iu of gonal f in pen hee hee!

Sending you positive vibes xxx


----------



## BECKY7

Hee hee  how naughty of us but it work eh  becky7 xx


----------



## Indigo2

Wow Louise and Hyena! Pregnant - what an amazing early Xmas gift! Totally wonderful!

Bannyb - just keep eating loads of protein, and anything else that might help to create a good environment for those eggs to grow in. I was told I would only get 3 eggs during my scans, but got 5 at egg collection. In reality I only got 3 eggs of a decent size, and two immature ones.  But two or three embryos are all you can transfer anyway, and as we have seen from Superkitty's case - embryo grading only helps the Drs to guess.  I'm pretty sure that in a weeks time I'm going to be looking at two or three follicles tops, so I'll have to read back on all the posts to you to comfort myself.  Last time my expectations were so low that I was delighted that I had any follicles at all, but I am so much more knowledgable now that I think this round of ICSI is going to much more stressful.

Superkitty - keep thinking about Mickey, and the miracle of it all! I looked on the CARE website, and it looks to be about £3000 extra. I really think that is a small price to pay to not spend the whole pregnancy worrying about misscarriage, and potential genetic probs (I'm sure you'll worry anyway, but at least you'll be able to rationalise more easily). I thought they did the genetic testing on the polar body.  I didn't realise they removed a whole cell. I'm seriously considering CARE for my next cycle, but it is hard to justify when I'll probably only get two embryos, and put them both in.  It's not money that puts me off (as it seems worth it), but the logistics around the huge amounts of travel. Really keeping my fingers crossed for Mickey! I'm really excited for you! 

Polly poppet - hope the waiting is going OK. I'm due to start taking prednisolone steroids this Wed, so really appreciated your warning about them.  Does the depression set in when you stop taking them, or all the way through? 

Only a few more days of my 4 and a half weeks of down regging to go, and it is beginning to get to me. I cried about Larry Hagman dying, and got so upset/ furious about something at work today that I left early for a wander around the shops to distract myself. I couldn't tell if it was the down regging side effects or not. Absolutely desperate to leave early for my Xmas hols, but urgent things keep piling up so I end up committing to staying a few more days before going on leave.  Start swims on Wed and I can't wait!


----------



## Pollypoppet

Morning everyone, how are we today?

Ive been waking up early for about a week which is just really annoying, hence the early post. Probably anxiety/nerves but was kinda hoping when hubby got back yesterday I'd be able to get a lie in and catch up. No such luck. Grrr. Anyway, moving on. 

Indigo - I generally feel great whilst on the course of steroids, I think they actually help lift your mood. The down day was during tapering off, it was the day I went from 3 to 2 tablets, so I'd try to taper more slowly next time. It did feel as bad as depression but I'd hesitate to use that label as it only lasted a day (thankfully!).  Well nearly there to start your stims indigo, I've never down regged but it must seem to take an age. Good luck for this next stage and hope you can escape work soon. 

Have a good day everyone


----------



## hjanea

SK- hope you have warmed up. The smell thing could be a good sign-really hope so.Go on Micky- get comfy!!
Banny- hope your eggs have grown overnight.
PP- when is your OTD?- are you next? Everything crossed for you.
Indigo-hope your stims go well!
Louise-hope you are OK today. Can you believe it yet?

AFM- working at the weekend so going shopping with mum today- sports bra for her, unwired bra for me!!!  DD has been dying to tell someone, so I've told her she can tell her teacher today as I'm going on a school trip next week so she ought to know that it might be me, not the kids, throwing up on the bus!!!!-and magic newspaper to sit on isn't going to work for MS!!


----------



## bannyb

Morning all! A big thank you to you all for your words of encouragement, thoughts and positive vibes   I have woken up feeling a bit better about it all today and have accepted that we only have 2 and I'm definitely working on quality! I am still worried about my low oestradiol levels and about lack of progesterone support as after googling it loads can only see it's all not good but I have to trust they know what they are doing and haven't just written me off and I'm just going to get on with it and try not to over analyse everything (ha!). 

Polly, I know what you mean about early wake ups, I seem to be waking throughout the night too at the moment. Counting down the days until Friday..not long now...I really have got everything crossed for you     

SK, hope you warmed up and are feeling a bit better today? Funny smelling food.. seems like a good sign to me! I agree with Polly, not signs of AF or OHSS!     for you too 

Hjanea and Louise, I hope you're enjoying your BFPs!! Such fab news, gives me some hope! Hope the 2ml injections are going ok Hjanea, just keep remembering that they're helping   

Indigo, hang on in there, I'm sure your mood will be hormone related, I know I was a bit like that with my long down reg period. Not long to go and you'll be on the stimming roller coaster too   and   

A big Hi to everyone else   to you all and again a big thank you   
Hi fififi, Chandler, Becky,


----------



## Indigo2

Stims and steroids start tomorrow, and I can't wait...... I remember preparing the menopur was a complete faff.  I am taking 6 powders a days (450iu/ day, which is the max my clinic allows).  Does anyone have any tips?  Did you use a 1ml or 2.5ml needle?  

I seem to be waking up every two hours in the night and I am exhausted.  Has that happened to anyone else whilst down regging on suprecur/ buserelin?  

Good vibes to all!


----------



## Pollypoppet

Bannyb, glad you're feeling more positive, you're doing everything you can, I bet these two are going to be so strong. Fingers crossed.

O no I can totally sympathise indigo I don't feel like I've had a proper nights sleep for ages. I can't blame the down reg drugs as I never had any! I think it's just general anxiety about the whole process. Gosh that's a lot of menopur, I went up to 6 powders on my first cycle just at the end, I seem remember the nurse said 3 powders to each water so it meant two injections. The needles I used were 21g 1 1/2in (green) to draw up and 26g 1/2in(brown) to give. Not sure of measurements in ml. Good luck with it all!

Hjanea - hope you're ok today and enjoying your shopping trip, test day Friday for me, I think I might be next on this thread but hope I haven't forgotten anyone's big day before then.

Chandlerino, how are you? I saw from your forum profile at the bottom of your post that you have a plan for another cycle? That's great news, good luck when you decide to start again.

Super kitty, hope you're feeling a bit better.


----------



## Indigo2

Oh sorry - I meant which size syringe did you use for menopur (not needle).  The thin 1ml ones or the slightly chunkier 2.5ml ones?

I hope you manage to make time pass quickly until Friday Pollypoppet (if you want it to that is).  I'm planning to browse the sales as much as possible in my 2WW (it will be just before Xmas).  Mindless yet quite absorbing is the type of activity I think helps to pass the time.  I am also thinking of filing two huge boxes of papers that I have meaning to sort out for ages.

Good luck for Friday, and to all those on the dreaded 2WW...... X


----------



## bannyb

I am quite clearly losing the plot as I finished my last post in the middle of saying hello to people! Apologies for that, think DS was tugging at my arm and I wasn't fully concentrating! He's snoozing now so can apply myself a bit better! 


Indigo, I am using gonal f pens this time but on my last round I mixed menopur in 2.5 ml syringes as it was easier to inject than having the plunger right out on the 1 ml ones. What a great time to have the 2ww with all that sales browsing to do! Fingers crossed it'll bring you a nice Christmas pressie too! 


Polly, yes, I think you are next on here too!


----------



## hjanea

Indigo- great news that you can get started.
Had a good shopping trip with my mum. She was much more enthusiastic about things and has thought about plans for next year, (assuming everything goes OK), more than I have.
Got home to find that my nurse(the donation coordinator sister) is back from sick leave and she can scan me on the 11th instead of the consultant. This is great news as she's lovely and I have lots of questions to ask her regarding HFEA regulations etc so shes going to book me a long appointment.
I need to book my travel insurance for february today, then later tell them I'm pg. Lots of people don't know until 6 weeks or so if they haven't had tx don't they??
Helen.x


----------



## HavingitAll

Hi all,

I'm mostly over at the current cycle buddies but since I'm 41 I've been sneaking over here a bit. It's good to hear the wonderful news here for us oldies!

Indigo2 - I've been increased from 300 to 450 iu menopur and they gave me 2.5 mL syringes.

HavingitAll


----------



## Pollypoppet

Hi havingitall, and good luck with your treatment. The current cyclers board is a bit to intense for me, not enough hours in the day to keep up with everyone!! Hope you've got some good vibes and PMA going on over there though.

Hjanea, where are you off to on holiday? We haven't been away for ages but just thinking as my little one starts school in September (yikes) we should try to get away before we have to brave the school holidays. 

Evening everyone else x


----------



## hjanea

We're going to Lanzarote with my mum and hoping for sunshine. Unfortunately I'll (hopefully) be 17 weeks by then so won't fit into the shorts and bikinis I bought in the summer when I lost a couple of stone. I've already managed to put a stone back on over the last few weeks of tx and although I'm intending to continue with SW as much as I can theres no way they will fit. In fact I even looked at a maternity swimming costume in matalan today!!


----------



## Pollypoppet

O that sounds lovely, something to look reward to after Christmas as too. And if you won't fit in your summer clothes I don't think I can think of a better reason than the one you've got! Tankinis were quite good for covering my lumps and bumps up, I winder if they still sell them??


----------



## Louisej29

Evening all.  

Pollyp.... Loads of luck for friday! Will be thinking of you and sending positive vibes! Hope is another bfp!

Indigo.  Good luck tomorrow! Yes those menopur bottles are a faff!!!  I was also on 6 powers- I had 3 injections a night.  2 menopur and 1 buseralin. My legs looked like they belonged to a heroin addict they were so bruised ! We had 2 different sized  needles.  Pink to draw the liquid up and a smaller yellow one to inject ! 
Hope you get on ok with the steroids, I've had no effects at all on them and now need to stay on them for 3 months. Guess its the coming off them that sounds the hardest!! But well worth it if it works hey! 

Banny. Hope you are ok and keeping positive ! Quality not quantity !! 

Sk. Hope you are are feeling better... Off food,,, hmmmm. Is that a sign?!?

Hjanea.  Still in shock really and now just willing the little embryo to continue to stay with me! Scan on 10 dec to see if singular or multiple.  Hoping twins!!

Hope everyone else is doing ok too and looking forward to hearing more good news!!!

L x


----------



## bannyb

Indigo, fab news that you have got started today! Must be a great relief to feel that things are starting to move forward!    Hope the injecting goes OK for you, I seem to resemble a pin cushion at the moment, got a black and blue tummy! Loads of    for lots of lovely follies to grow for you   


Louise, I hope you are enjoying you BFP, so pleased for you! Yes, I am trying to think quality, but my new worry is that I've prematurely ovulated... I was feeling a full sort of pressure on my right ovary for about a week now and suddenly yesterday afternoon the feeling went and I feel all light and the bloating has gone, and can't help worrying I've ovulated. I was so worried I didn't sleep last night. I am now feeling grateful for 2 and hoping they're still there! What a roller coaster this has been, as you can probably tell I am being a real old worry guts.. I guess it's just such an important outcome and it's our last time of trying that I can't help it.


SK, hope you are feeling better now? How is the 2ww going? Hope you are getting some rest and enjoying being PUPO!

Polly, only 2 days to go! I'm all excited for you! Sending so many    and    for you


Hjanea, your holiday sounds just perfect... a great time to go and get some sunshine before you are too heavily preggers and before a little friend arrives for your dd! 


Hi Havingitall, good luck with this cycle. Sending    your way. Like Polly, I find the current cyclers thread too manic, I just can't keep up with it! I wish you and everyone else on there so much luck.


AFM, despite all my worries, I am on a drug free day today and collection (providing they are still there) is at 8am tomorrow! I have a GP appt at 6pm when hopefully I will get some gestone prescribed and then I can put that worry to bed too! 


Hi to everyone else and hope your week is going well


----------



## hjanea

Good luck for tomorrow Banny. Hope you are wrong about the ov, but your other egg is going to be great so try not to fret, and you might be wrong!! Hope you get somewhere with the GP.


----------



## julesbfd

Hi ladies
Haven't posted on this part of the thread for a while but do recognise lot's of names and good to read where people ar eup to, also recognise a couple of people formm the leeds board.
My third tx and things have gone differently this time, changed meds to have gonal f, steroids, inj progesterone and clexane to see if it makes any differance.
My follies ave not grown as well this time, on first scan they were too small and on scan on Sunday, only three were ready.  Had EC today and have 14 eggs but will not know until tomorrow if any are ok, they were talking on Sunday about the smaller ones being immature and the larger ones being overipe, all a worry and just hoping something fertilises for tomorrow.
I start the cleaxane and inj progesterone today, any tips please ladies to stop it hurting so much, the brusing etc, I am a single lady so going to have to do them myself so would appreciate any advice.
I am trying to stay positive but doesn't feel so great this time round, going on a day to day basis and fingers crossed I have something tomorrow.

Jules xx


----------



## Chandlerino

Jules - you can also do the PIO shots in your thigh - which I did because DH was useless and nearly passed out doing an injection [lightweight]. So when my right butt cheek got sore I switched to doing them in my thigh for a few days. Also if you 'pinch and inch' and don't let go when you are injecting it didnt seem as painful or get as bruised. Rub the area after to distribute the PIO then it won't be lumpy and hurty!

Can't help with clexane injections tho.


----------



## hjanea

Pop the clexane in your belly. Have you got prontogest or gestone? I was prontogest but got changed on monday as the pharmacy didnt have any. So far the gestone seems less painful, though its thicker so a bit harder to push in. I'm on my own so doing thighs as well.


----------



## Pollypoppet

Hi Jules
Congratulations on 14 eggs, that's amazing especially for an over 40. (Sorry just assuming you are) fingers crossed for you that you get lots of mature great quality ones and a good fertilisation rate.
Clexane - grab a handful of tummy fat and hold onto it until you take the needle out. Don't rub the area afterwards.
Progesterone - make sure you're injecting in the right place. Upper outside quadrant of bum cheek just below hip bone (I have plenty fat there!). Put an ice pack wrapped in a tea towel on the area for ten minutes first. At the same time warm the Prontogest vial up by keeping it in your bra for 10 minutes. It makes the oil runnier. Make sure you use one needle to draw up then a brand new one to inject, if you reuse the same one it will be blunt and hurt a lot more. Give yourself a couple of slaps at the injection site then go for it. The big green needles are really scary looking but so sharp they go in quite easily. Then just think how much good they're doing you and little bean and it'll be over before you know it. Finally give the area a rub to disperse the oil. Good luck. Are you doing the Prontogest every day? 
Lots of luck for your treatment


----------



## kittykins

Hi all 

Have read through this thread for a while on and off but now feel able to join in as we have just done our second DR injection tonight - 11 minutes late as we both forgot     This is our second go at IVF had a BFN back in September (got 15 eggs, 11 fertilised and had 2 blasts put back).  This time they are starting with 225 of Gonal as last time it had to be increased halfway through stimming so fingers crossed this time that the meds will be better for us.  Base scan is 19th Dec and then hoping for EC around New Years Eve.  Going to do a fertility spell tonight as it is full moon - going mad Im sure but will try anything! 

Hope to get to know you all a bit better and wishing everyone all the best for wherever you are in tx.


----------



## julesbfd

Thanks ladies for such quick responses
Chandlerino - Thanks for that, I have a good few inches to pinch so shall do as you advise
hjanea - I have prontogest, have done the clexane myself, wasn't too bad, just got to get used to it, I am certainly more bruised this time around, normally on stims I don't bruise but have this time
Pollypoppet - Yes i am 40, 41 next month.  I have done tx twice before and got 17 eggs and they have grown well etc.  This time they have been slower and some have struggled to catch up, thats why i am nervous to see if I have any tomorrow or if they were immature or too mature, grabbed the fat whilst doing my clexane so thanks for that.  I am on prontogest every day, along with the clexane and steroids 3 x per day, I'm going to be the size of a house when I finish, each time I have done tx, i have put on weight.
I stuck the progesterone down my bra and asked my neighbour to help, as we were about to do it, my friend who once trained as a nurse popped in and did it for me, had me bent on the sofa and didn't even feel it going in.  I am thinking if the neighbour does some in my butt and I do some in my thighs, hopefully I won't be in too much pain, I so hope it is worth it.  When my friend did it tonight, I didn't even feel it so that was good.
Kittykins - Good luck with the injections, 11 mins is nothing so don't worry about that, I too have just been on gonal f 225.

Starting to flag abit now, think all of the drugs from ec are coming out of my system, I have felt pretty lively all day.

Thanks again ladies
Jules xx


----------



## hjanea

Glad you got it sorted Jules. I'm now wondering if I can reach my bum as my thighs are getting a little hard.
I've been to GP this afternoon. My blood pressure was up so he wants it monitoring and possibly to go on labetalol to bring it down. I think its the progesterone as I've been aable to feel that my heart is going faster than usual. So I'm at the nurse on monday and the dr next friday. Booked in for the midwife on the 14th and he's referring me to the consultant that I was under for DD.


----------



## Pollypoppet

I've always managed to inject the Prontogest into my own bum without too much trouble, and I don't consider myself to be particularly fit or flexible so you should be fine. One side is easier than the other because I find I have to do the plunger part with my right hand as I'm too ham fisted with the left so sometimes I have to swap hands after the needle goes in. Apart from that its ok. Haven't tried the thigh yet but since I went up to daily injections my bum is getting a bit tender so I think I might have to!


----------



## Pollypoppet

Hi kiitykins, good luck with your treatment!  I'll be watching to see if this fertility spell works for you, i hope it does. I saw some on eBay and always wondered! Gotta be worth a try eh?


----------



## Louisej29

Hi everyone.  Hope you've all had a good day!

Banny!! GOOD LUCK tomorrow! Will be thinking of you and hoping that all goes smoothly with fab results!! 

Polly not long to go for you.  How are you feeling!?

Hi jules.  I also got 14 eggs on collection. Was devastated the next day that only 3 had fertilised and things were not looking too good! had all 3 put back in the next day and amazingly got a bfp!! So hoping your results will be similar!! Good luck! 

Hjanea.  Take it easy!!!!

Kitty kind.  What's a fertilty spell!? Hope it works whatever it is!!

Indigo.  Hope the injections are going ok!?

Lots of you seem to be on progesterone injections.  I've only been given the pesseries twice a day? Is there a difference !? Wondering if I should have the injections now!!!

Talk soon

Louise x


----------



## fififi

bannyb - hoping EC tomorrow brings good news       

superkitty - hope you're surviving 2ww   

Best wishes to everyone else and wishing you lots of success too


----------



## Pollypoppet

Hi Louise, I think the progesterone injections are more easily absorbed than the pessaries/suppositories. My first clinic only prescribed pessaries and didn't test levels during 2ww either. Where I am now uses pessaries routinely at first then does a blood test 7 days after EC, if that comes back low you start on injections.  There is a body of evidence linking low progesterone levels to early miscarriage but what is defined as low is open to debate. For instance in a natural pregnancy most GPs wouldnt be concerned unless your level dropped below 10, whereas my clinic will prescribe the injections to supplement the pessaries if it is below 100. I do think its belt and braces with my clinic, but theres no evidence that too much progesterone is harmful, so why not. 

I have always been concerned about low progesterone, I have a short luteal phase naturally, bled before OTD on first cycle and had a low count day 7 post EC last cycle so I got them to put me on the injections straight away this time.

I don't want to worry you, you're in good hands with your clinic and if they thought it was a good idea to do it differently they would. If its something you're particularly concerned about you could always ask if they'll do the blood test for you or find someone else to do it.

X


----------



## Louisej29

Thanks polly that's really helpful advise ! Am going to call them in the morning and ask about injections!! I'm always on the phone asking them about something or other! They are probably sick of me by now!! But the money I've spent think I'll just keep on asking !


----------



## bannyb

Thanks Helen, Louise and Fififi  Fingers crossed!  Will let you know how I get on.

Hi Jules, loads of luck for your call tomorrow, it's a nerve wracking time,  well done with 14 eggs though, that's a great number!  That you have a good fertilisation rate with them. 

Hello Kittykins, loads of luck to you too  I have no idea what a fertility spell is but hope it works for you, think I could do with one of those too! 

Louise, I am seeing the GP about gestone injections as my clinic won't prescribe them and I bled after a week last round and have had a couple of miscarriages, they just said pessaries and aspirin, funny how different clinics do different things. I agree with you, keep asking questions!


----------



## Pollypoppet

Louise, I'm sure they're used to it, you deserve answers to any concerns you have. I'll be interested to hear what they say. Good luck!


----------



## HavingitAll

It's late so just an update. Stims day 6 tests today were just positive enough for us to continue. 5 follicles but only 1 @ 12mm, the rest are under 10.  We're happy to pay for the drugs (Menopur 450) even if we get cancelled at our next scan on Sunday since in IVF you can only know what's possible by doing it.  Maybe there are no eggs  in the follicles or they don't fertilise or whatever. If we cancel now there's so much info we can miss out on. Not to mention the small chance of a baby. Afterall, it only takes 1.

Just wish I could get my work done! 

HavingitAll


----------



## Pollypoppet

Morning ladies, how is everyone today?

Havingitall - good news that you are continuing, and its early days so plenty time for them to grow, just keep thinking positive thoughts and eating plenty protein, drinking plenty water. And you're right, even failed cycles are valuable for the knowledge they give you about your own body and response to the drugs, always something to be gained from them. 

Bannyb - sorry a bit late but just wanted to wish you well for your EC today. Hopefully by the time you read this you will be resting up and have some happy news. 

Hi Louise, how are you?

Super kitty - how are you bearing up?

Hjanea - how exciting to have an appointment with the midwife, bet you were wondering if that who'd ever happen, starting to sound very real! Hope you're ok with your blood pressure, I wonder if it is the Prontogest,I've never heard of that as a side effect. Will be interested to hear the answer.

Jules - fingers crossed for some good news from the clinic today.

Sorry to these I've missed, hope you're ok, sending you lots of good wishes x


----------



## bannyb

Quick update, not good news, only one egg and been told by embryologist that it may not fertilise so it might well all be over for us, gutted


----------



## Pollypoppet

O bannyb I am sorry, I can understand your disappointment. Please please try to stay as positive as you can. Everyone on here I'm sure will be rooting for your little one to fertilise and keep going strong. it might be the only one you need. Big hug to you xxx


----------



## HavingitAll

O bannyb! I completely understand  - we gotta give your little egg all the positive energy we can!              xxx


----------



## SuperKitty

Hi ladies, just a quickie - after a couple more days of hot and cold, yesterday I got felled by some very scary (I couldn't get up off the floor, had to crawl to unlock the door for the paramedics!) stomach pains that meant I ended up calling an ambulance. 

Got admitted last night and looks like I may be here at least a couple of days. At first they thought appendicitis but have confirmed now its a severe abdominal infection, probably set up at egg collection, so IV antibiotics and fluids for me! 

Bleeding very heavily as of yesterday, so have sadly said goodbye to Mickey as well   

That's it for us, no more ivf. When we feel ready, we'll move on to plan b, which is adoption. Don't know when though. 

Hope everyone else is doing ok,   to everybody x


----------



## SuperKitty

Sorry Banny - not what you wanted to hear I know.  But remember one is all it takes!


----------



## BECKY7

Oh super kitty  you had it hard  oh you poor thing  hopefully you will take thing easy  and who know when your feeling ready and calm.

Banny b  you only needed 1  so don't give up yet till you get your phone call in the morning and hopefully your sweetie will be inside you tomorrow as I belive the sooner they are back in you the better.

Becky7 xx


----------



## bannyb

Oh SK, what an awful thing for you to go through, I really hope you are much more comfortable and in less pain now, and I am so so sad to hear you have lost Mickey    You must be in a state of shock at the moment. You'll need time to mend from this before moving on, take lots of care of each other. Will be thinking of you and hoping you feel physically better soon so that you are able to start to mend emotionally. Great big   xx


----------



## bannyb

Thank you everyone    we're trying to regain some positivity and   for a good phone call on Saturday
 To everyone xx


----------



## Louisej29

Oh super kitty I was so sad to read your news, really gutted for you and can only imagine your pain right now.  You will need some time to get over this before thinking about the future. Sending you lots of love and hugs x

Banny.  Keep strong  until tomorrow.  One is all you need and this could be the one ! Agree with Becky that the sooner it is back the better !  Fingers crossed and sending lots of positive vibes to that little egg! X 

Polly. Thinking of you tomorrow and hoping your news is good.  Have just spoken to nurse at clinic who was of the opinion the pesseries are just as effective as the injections.  Not hugely convinced really but they don't do the injections so just have to hope they know what they are talking about ! 

Jules how did you get on ! 

Have a good eve everyone and get well soon super kitty x


----------



## Pollypoppet

Super kitty, I don't know how often you will be on here but I hope you get to read all the good wishes coming your way. I'm so so sorry to hear of what's happened. It must have been terrifying to be in so much pain, and the thought of losing mickey must be so so hard to bear. You have to just concentrate on getting yourself well and through this nightmare. The bleeding doesn't sound good but I'm hoping and praying for you that mickey is holding on. I don't think any words will really even start to ease the pain youre going through but please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## bannyb

Polly, just popped back on to say wishing you loads of luck for tomorrow, will be thinking of you and     it's good news


----------



## Pollypoppet

Thanks bannyb and good luck for your phone call when it comes x


----------



## fififi

bannyb - will be crossing arms, legs, fingers and toes for you tonight       
Really hoping that your phonecall tomorrow brings you the good news you deserve    


superkitty - so, so sorry      (have sent you pm x)


----------



## HavingitAll

Superkitty, that's so devastating and scary. You sound so very brave. Look after yourself and love will see you through.    . Thanks for being so wonderful in sharing with us - that must be so hard.  Take care,. Xxx


----------



## Chandlerino

Just popping by to say  so sorry to hear whats happened superkitty  

banny - routing for your little embie xxx

pollyp - good luck for tomorrow x


----------



## urbangirl

Hi everyone, not writing at the mo, but reading still, but had to come on when I saw Superkitty's news.  Superkitty, that is absolutely devastating, you must be in hell at the moment.  I hope you get better soon, if you have lost your darling Mickey I think Care should take responsibility for you getting such a severe infection, how often does that happen?  Not much because I haven't seen other ladies talk about it before. It did happen to me, actually, but not as bad as your situation.  I hope Care give you a refund so you can do another cycle, you put absolutely everything into this and it's so dreadful that it all came to this.  I wouldn't expect to get an infection at EC at a top clinic like that.  I hope you get better soon and can see the best way forward.

BannyB, good luck, I've been in your situation, it's very stressful,     that your embryo comes through.

Louise, I think your clinic nurse is trying to fob you off, if I had had bleeding or any other worrying signals post EC I would just do the injections, to cover all bases..... For one, you know the progesterone has got there, most of the pessaries just slides out!!

Good luck for all the other cyclers


----------



## SuperKitty

Ah, thanks guys. Nice to have some sympathy from people who totally understand. At one point yesterday I had to be wheeled down to the maternity scanning unit for an ultrasound - and I was in my wheelchair watching all the happy excited couples getting their first baby scan pics. I have to be honest and say I just sat and cried. In PUBLIC. (I am NOT a cryer-in-public   ) It has been a pretty awful few days to say the least  

As you can see I'm not sleeping very well (my first ever stay in hospital!) All good fun. Although I'm in a nice private ensuite room (which is normal for this ward, supposedly) and everyone has been very nice. 

BUT there have been some developments. They decided (very) late yesterday that its NOT an abdominal infection, but instead a partially ruptured hemorraghic cyst - so the agony on (errrr...Wednesday? You lose track of time in these places) was the rupture happening.  I have a big blood clot, SO they are waiting to see if it re absorbs or (worst case) has to be removed surgically.

So, all change again.   Theoretically, there is a microscopically small chance that Mickey might be hanging in there. I don't really think so, given that I've been bleeding fairly consistently for a few days now - and they don't think so either, because of all the trauma from the rupture (& from him being nuked by antibiotics, irradiated by x-rays etc!) So, although it seems silly I'm going to continue with my Utrogestan pessaries until the bleeding gets so bad that there obviously isn't any point!


Banny, I am really really hoping you get good news in your call tomorrow. I will be thinking of you and really    it's what you want to hear.

Polly - GOOD LUCK for tomorrow. Again, lots and lots of    coming your way.

Louise - I think a lot of the clinics take a bit of a 'suck it and see' approach ...which is easy for them to do! They're not over-keen on you trying to 'drive' your own treatment. I agree with whoever said that you should get back onto them and maybe be a bit of a squeaky wheel, ask again, say you'll pay extra etc. If you want to have the injections, then surely it's up to you - it's the same drug, just a different delivery method - it's not like you're asking for, um, Bee Pollen injections or something!

Anyway, am going to have yet another go at sleeping.  Urban girl, fififi, louise, becky, chandler and havingitall, thank you for being so kind. It means a lot  

Night (or morning!!) ladies


----------



## hjanea

Superkitty- I'm so so sorry that you've had such an awful time.      for Micky!! Hope they manage to get you sorted out and you are soon back home.
Banny-       for your call this morning.
Pollyp-good luck!!


----------



## Sazzmataz

Hi Everyone 

Just had to pop on as i do check in now & then.
*Superkitty* So sorry to hear you're having such an awful time & scary too. I really hope that Mickey is still in there hanging on   Thinking of you & sending you lots of wishes & healing vibes.x

*Bannyb* Fingers crossed for you & may your egg be a strong 1 & your phone call brings good news   It does only take one. Sending positive energy your way  

*Chandlerino* How have you been since your cycle & are you planning to go again next year? I'm planning to cycle with ICSI Jan/Feb. May next time be the lucky 1 for you 

To everyone else sending you all lotsa good luck wishes whether stimming, scans, EC, ET, 2WW 
To all of us who havn't ben so lucky this time, may our dream be waiting next cycle   
To all you BFP ladies may you all have a happy, healthy pregnany 

Sazz.x


----------



## julesbfd

Morning ladies

Bannyb - How did your little embie get on overnight, fingers crossed it is growing for oyu, an apprehensive time and thinking about you

Superkitty - Your'e having a tough time, fingers crossed that there is some hope that little mickey has stuck for you, I hope you are feeling a little better this morning and managed to get soem more sleep, I am awake every morning at 4 am for a couple of hours ever since been on steroids, dries you up the wall, take good care of yourself

Hi to all you other ladies, hope everyone is doing ok, it's blooming cold today, this being off work this week, I haen't even got dressed yet.

afm, yesterday i got the call and very suprisingly out of the 14 eggs, only one was immature, they injected 13 with ICSI, didn't damage any and 11 fertilised.  This was a shock for me as things hadn't gone so well up to now and they had not seen many follies.  On my last two tx, I had nine and eight eggs fertilise so eleven is good.
They are going to give me a time for tomorrow and if there are enough still growing oik, wait until monday.  Still very apprehensive as i have got to this point previously but none ever imnplant sadly, hoping for a miracle as the money pot is dry and three tx in one year takes it toll.

Waiting to hear how others are getting on.

Jules xx


----------



## Pollypoppet

Hi ladies,

Jules that fantastic news, 11 fertilised is amazing. Fingers crossed they continue to divide as they should and they'll soon be bak inside or in the freezer! Take care and get your body rested or the next stage.

I too am waking early, around 530am, wasn't sure if it was the steroids or the Prontogest but sounds more like the steroids since you've mentioned it too. 

Super kitty, how are you today? Are they keeping you in again? Hospitals are dreadful places to try and sleep. Hope you're feeling a bit better today. Still keeping everything crossed for miracle Mickey x

AFM - tested positive this morning! Still can't quite believe it and in fact am cautiously happy till I get the results of beta hcg ( hopefully sometime this evening) . Thanks ladies for all your support and positive thoughts over the past few weeks, it really has helped. 

Lots of luck and positive vibes to everyone x


----------



## hjanea

Jules- great news!! Hope they do well overnight.

Pollypoppet- congratulations- thats fantastic news!!!


----------



## kittykins

Evening everyone

Just wanted to send massive      to SuperKitty and Mickey 

Jules - great news - everything crossed for your eggies

Wow Pollypoppet      absolutely fantastic news

Bear with me everyone, its going to take me time to keep up with everyone - well did the fertility spell!  Felt like a right    and then got annoyed with myself if I don't take it seriously how on earth can I expect it to work!  Someone asked what it involved - well it was on the full moon and you had to break an egg in a saucer, surround with green leaves and sprinkle with salt (and then say some words to the moon hoping the neighbours were not out calling their cat and waiting to call in the men with white coats on my behalf)!!!!!!!

Had a call today from the clinic to tell me that mine and DH's blood tests run out this month, if we had started a week earlier we would have been covered but as not it will be £120 each to update these - oh happy days hey!

Love to everyone x


----------



## bannyb

Wowee! Congratulations Polly! Absolutely over the moon for you    Here are some dancing bananas             lovely lovely lovely news! xx


----------



## fififi

bannyb - how are you? Hoping all still okay


----------



## SuperKitty

Hey ladies

Pollypoppet....YAY for you!! That deserves a row of dancing bananas ..wait....        

Banny....really hope you're ok, thinking about you today and hoping, hoping    

Kittykins (like the name!) that sounds interesting...and it can't hurt, right?!

Hope everyone is doing ok, thank you again for being so kind. It really helps at what is quite a dark time.

AFM, I am still in hospital but hopefully for only one more night. They are going to do a final set of bloods tomorrow morning and if they're happy with them, I can go home. I woke up feeling a bit better physically, and my IV line came out in the morning (boy, was i glad to see the back of that) - although I managed to totally exhaust myself by...um..sitting in a chair for some of the day rather than lying in bed.  I think I am going to have to take getting better in small increments, from the look of things. At least I can sit up on my own now without making involuntary animal noises.  I have a suspicion I may still be making animal faces but hey, I'll take what I can get.  

Take care ladies,   to everyone xx


----------



## Louisej29

Oh super kitty.  Have been thinking about you a lot today and am so sad you are having such a tough time.  life can be so very cruel and unfair.  I really hope things start to look brighter for you ... Take good care hun x 

Banny.  Been thinking about you too.  Any news !? 

Polly.  Yay!! Fantastic.  Well done! Hope the Blood results were good.  ?

Jules. Great results! Fingers crossed for more luck for you 

Kittykins.  That sounds interesting ! Anything is worth a shot when you get to this stage!!

Everyone else.. Hope you're all doing ok

Have a good w end everyone and hope you get home soon sk and get thoroughly spoilt 

Louise x


----------



## bannyb

Hi all, this is just a quick update as need to hurry off to appointment, but I have just had 'the call' and huge huge huge relief, it has fertilised!! They are doing assisted hatching to try to give it a better chance, so so pleased, can't put it into words    will come back on later to do personals, thanks so much for your positive energy and supportive words xx


----------



## Sazzmataz

*Bannyb* Yayyyy.. Great news  One good strong eggie is all it takes. sending more positive energy   You could even still have twins from the one!  Sorry i'm obsessed  I want twins too  lol... 
Happy Saturday 

S.x.


----------



## SuperKitty

Wonderful     SO pleased for you! X


----------



## julesbfd

Morning

Banny - So pleased for you and finers crossed the assisted hatching helps your little bean along, will be thinking of oyu

Louise, fififi, sazmattaz, hjanea, hi to you all and hope things are all good with you

Superkitty - Hope oyu are feeling a little better this morning and you get to leave hospital today, so much nicer to be at home, I really hope things improve for you

kittykins - I have neer had to pay for bloods, they have been as part of treatment, are they the hiv etc ones?, could you not go to the local clinic and hae them done and the results sent.  I know the cost of sperm storage is nearly upon me again, its all money money

Pollypoppet - Congratulations on your bfp, how did your blood results come back, how lovely for you

Had the call from the embryologist this morning, et now going to be Monday instead of today.  They are doing well at the moment, out of the 11, only one is not growing right, they are going to freeze six today, first time ever for me to have any to freeze.  I didn't know about them freezing at day 3 but they said that then if they are needed, they would grow them until day 5, well the ones if any defrosted ok and see what happens.
They are still growing 4 eggs, 3 which are 8 cell and one 9, the grading for all of them is 4/4 which is the best grading that Leeds do.
I'm happy although still apprehensive as have got to day 5 on both occasions before but struggle with implantation, here's hoping the steroids, clexane and inj progesterone help with that.
Here's hoping they continue to grow.

Jules


----------



## urbangirl

Kittykins, love the spell!  Were you talking about std tests, BTW?  If so I wouldn’t pay a penny for those,  just go to your local sexual health clinic and get them done.

Bannyb- great news, what a stressful time you’re having, when you have to pin all your hopes onto one. The biggest hurdle is over, I hope you can relax a bit.     

Superkitty, I went for a scan yonks ago and they told me they thought I had haemorrhagic cysts, I cried and cried. I had to go back for another scan to check them – and I was pregnant!  So there is hope (mine was not a strong pregnancy and I lost it, but not because of the cysts).  
Polypoppet- congratulations, you couldn’t ask for a better Christmas present!  Lucky, lucky you, what absolutely fab news!    

Hi Julesbfd- so you decided to stick with the same clinic this time?  Great that Leeds seem to be doing a good job, it looks like a really positive cycle.  

AFM, same old, same old. Just preparing for my next cycle. We are so broke it’s unreal. Can no longer afford public transport so I got a 2nd hand bike. For a while I just couldn't bear it, what with the  and all but harsh reality finally hit and I did my first trip into the West end last week, it took nearly an hour but I LOVED it!  Now I’m getting all my exercise just going to ‘work’ (I freelance) so I don’t have to find time to squeeze it into the day. We are on a buying ‘lockdown’ so to speak, for at least 6 months if I want to have enough for 2 cycles.  It's our choice (okay, mine!!) though, so shouldn't really complain & I think it's worth it.


----------



## bannyb

Well I'm back home after ET of my little embie having had pre & post acupuncture (need all the help I can get), but during ET told me I had a little bleeding at time of transfer & just been to loo & it's quite a bit more, fresh blood, so not a good sign... oh lordy lord, after everything else I could really do with out this, has brought me down to earth with a bump, oh well just gonna curl up and read and pray it settles. 


Hope everyone is well and enjoying a relaxing weekend. 


SK, you have been in my thoughts a lot, really hoping you are feeling much better and that Mickey is hanging on in there   


UG, it is so expensive isn't it, well done with getting on a bike, enjoy it, sounds like fab exercise too!


Jules, wishing you so much luck with the ongoing fertilisation and then ET. Your little embies are doing so well!   for you


Louise, hjanea and Polly, hope you are all doing Ok and enjoying these first few days    


Kittykins, best of luck with your upcoming cycle, and hope the spell has worked for you


Hi Havingitall, Sazzmataz, Chandler, Fififi, and anyone else I might have missed, hope you are all OK and enjoying a nice relaxing weekend   to everyone


----------



## Pollypoppet

Evening ladies, how is everyone tonight?

Bannyb, great news that your little embie is go going strong an you had the transfer. Sorry to hear about the bleeding it must be a worry. Perhaps they disturbed things when they were poking around in there. I had a little bleeding after ET too, hope it stops soon for you. Glad to hear you're resting up and taking things easy. And Sazzmataz is right, it really only does take one good one, and with assisted hatching you might even end up with two!

Super kitty, glad you're feeling a wee bit better today. It must be horrid so any improvement must be welcome. Soon be back home in your own bed/sofa and hopefully being thoroughly spoilt!

Urban girl, thanks, yes I do feel incredibly lucky and no matter what the next few weeks hold, do now feel a lot more positive about the whole thing. We didn't know whether we would cycle again after this one but now we have hope that it can work for us.  Well done on getting a bike, great idea, saving money and good excercise! I heard of a novel idea today, our local town hall had a fundraiser Christmas fair. When I read which charity it was in aid of it was a local couples's IVF fund! (Our PCT doesn't fund IVF for anyone). They have a blog, I think I'll have a wee read later.

Jules, great news your embies are strong enough to keep going for another couple of days and that you've got some for the freezer too. Never heard of freezing at day three either but got to be good. Leeds sounds like a good clinic, I really regret not going there for our first cycle (we're in North Yorkshire) but that  will teach me for not doing any research before we dived into IVF (unbelievable now that I was so ignorant of everything). 


Hi everyone else and thanks for your good wishes.

AFM - the clinic didn't call about beta hcg last night... So I called the on call mobile this morning. Felt a bit bad about doing so, but there are nurses and a doctor in the clinic today for essential bloods, scans, procedures etc and I really wanted to check which drugs I should still be on so decided to use it. The nurse was very apologetic I hadn't had a call and said beta was absolutely fine and definitely indicated pregnancy at this stage-phew. Also progesterone nice and high at 250 (they want it over 100), was kinda hoping she might say I can drop down from the daily Prontogest injections down to every other day or something, but no such luck. Ah well, small price to pay.

Have a good evening everyone xx


----------



## urbangirl

PollyP, I just wondered, had you used the progesterone injections on previous cycles, or the pessaries?  I have some injections, but I've never used them, I may bring them out for this cycle.  Maybe that will make the difference....


----------



## Pollypoppet

Hi urbangirl,
First cycle I was on just cyclogest pessaries twice a day. I bled before OTD and also didn't have a progesterone blood test so have no idea how low it actually was.

Second cycle I started on cyclogest pessaries but day 7 after EC had a blood test which showed a level of 75, high enough in a natural cycle but my clinic give extra support with anything under 100 so I went onto injections every other day as well as pessaries. Unfortunately that cycle also failed but at least no early bleed.

Because of that, this cycle I went straight onto the injections every other day from EC, plus crinone gels twice a day. This time my day 7 blood test came back at 97, so very nearly at the magic 100! So they upped me to daily injections and that's really done the trick with the latest result of 250. 

I do think its really helped me this time, I have a short luteal phase so naturally I think my lining starts to breakdown before my body realises I'm "pregnant" . If you have the injections already I'd say definitely worth a try, and certainly try to get your levels tested if you haven't done so before so you know what you're dealing with. It would be such a shame to sacrifice a cycle for something so easily treatable. Lots of luck x


----------



## Chandlerino

Hi girls

re progesterone injections - I'd say that they are def worth taking. My first 2 cycles I just had cyclogest and bled before OTD. This time I had utrogestan as pessaries and algolutin then gestone injections and got Af 2 days after OTD. My progesterone is always low though.


----------



## hjanea

Hi, sorry I didn't get n yeterday- I worked a 12 hour shift and was shattered.

Banny- hope he bleeding has settled. It was probabl from our cervix from having had he catheter put through, or I found the speculum painful once and bled a bit after that ET, Everything crossed for your little embie now its back home.

Re the progesterone I had pessaries for my previous 3 cycles. Bled the day before OTD the 1st one, 2 days after stopping the 2nd time and  over a week before OTD the last time- hence the injections this time. They are definately worth the discomfort.


----------



## bannyb

UG - I've not been able to get the progesterone injections prescribed even though I've had a couple of m/cs and bled before OTD last time, so I have upped my pessary dose to three a day.. not sure what to tell them but have enough to get through the dreaded 2ww then thought I'll tackle it if pregnant! I would definitely take the injections if I had them at home though    
Polly, great news about your progesterone levels, as you say, a small price to pay in the long run! 
Hjanea, 12 hour shifts sound like hard work at this stage, hoping you are getting more rest time off as a result.
Jules, lots of luck for tomorrow and the 2ww   
Thanks everyone, my bleeding stopped so I think it must have been irritation during the procedure or something, so back to being very happily PUPO! Still can't believe we've made it to this stage!  
Hi to all and


----------



## SuperKitty

Hi ladies

Back home as of yesterday afternoon, although I had to go back to the ward for the morning today to have another set of bloods done and analysed. My white cell count has gone from around 29,000 yesterday (higher than when I was admitted as an emergency on Wednesday!) to around 14,000 today, so they are happy. Just lots of antibiotics and painkillers now - and basically bed (or sofa) rest for at least a few more days.  I'm kind of just hanging on for OTD on Wednesday, so that I can stop the clexane and the Utrogestan and let life go back to normal while I recover. 

Banny, SO pleased for you. What a relief. The consultant today was saying that there is now a school of thought in ivf that thinks light scoring/damaging the endometrium just before ET helps with implantation...so maybe your surgeon did you a favour!

I'm shattered today, so will just say lots of love and best wishes to everyone, I'm thinking of you all and wishing you a calm and happy evening   x


----------



## Louisej29

Hi ladies

Hope you're all well. 

Sk, glad to hear you are  doing ok and your white cell count has risen. Been thinking of you and really hope luck changes for you soon , have lots of rest..


Banny! Yay!! Great news you've got to next stage. Fingers and toes crossed for that little embie and hope you are going to take it nice and easy these few weeks !! I'm also unable to get the progesterone injections and would like to be on them , haven't had a test to see what my progesterone level is so been panicking a bit about that.  I think I might follow your example and just start upping the pesseries intake! Good idea!! 

Jules. Hope et day goes well. Great you have some in the freezer too!!

Polly. Hope you're doing ok too! 

Love and happy positive vibes to everyone else ,,

Louise x


----------



## bannyb

SK, so so pleased to hear you are back at home and resting and that you're on the mend! I will have absolutely everything crossed for you and Mickey for Wednesday     Take it nice and easy and get better very quickly xx


----------



## SuperKitty

Ah, thank you guys. I don't think he's in there any more though I'm afraid - apart from all the other stuff, I bled so heavily for at least two of the days that it would be pretty miraculous  

Have said my goodbyes and done my crying, so am thinking of wednesday as the final closure.  But if that changes, you'll be the first to know! Well, maybe not quite the first...but you'll definitely know


----------



## hjanea

Still have everything crossed for you SK!!


----------



## dillydolly

Super kitty 

Was it care that said about the light scoring can help implantation?

I asked at Manchester care about it and the consultant  poo poo'd it!!


----------



## SuperKitty

No, they never mentioned it to us. It was the gynae consultant I saw this morning for my final discharge (have been in hospital for a bit) and we were just chatting afterwards about ivf because he has colleagues involved in it..he mentioned that it's one school of thought and that some other clinics don't agree with it..but didn't mention which clinic. Or say whether he agreed with it. Just chatting


----------



## julesbfd

Evening ladies

I have read about implantation cuts or whatever they are, i think there is talk over on the Serum thread about Penny doing them there, that's if you are talking about the same thing.

Superkitty - Good to hear you are home and I hope things start improving for oyu, take care

Louise - Thanks and yes it's a nice suprise havig some in the freezer although I haven't known of them freezing at day 3 so don't know if this is a good thing or not but whatever, i have never had any to freeze before but then they have left them until day 5 to see so maybe these wouldn't have made it to there but fingers crossed

bannyb - I will be joining you on the 2ww tomorrow, drives me mad, constant symptom spotting etc, what we do to ourselves

Pollypoppet - Don't think anything of oyu not going to Leeds first, my first two goes, they didn't try anything different and felt a one size fits all.  It is only because in my last follow up, I asked lots of questions of things I had learnt and pushed for what I wanted, they weren't offering.  I just think its my body, I'm paying and I want to try whatever I can to try and make it work.  I'm sure at times they think I'm a pain and one of the consultants even said in a letter to my gp that she had exhaustive discussion with me, cheeky.

ET for me tomorrow, here's hoping the four they continued to culture and didn't freeze are doing ok and there is something to put back.

Will let you know
Take care all
Jules xx


----------



## hjanea

Good luck today Jules!!!
That same consultant for my third try persuaded me that progesterone injections would be difficult for me as alone (I'm a nurse- injections aren't a problem!!) and on the letter to the GP said I'd decided against them because they'd be painful!!!! I'm pleased my donation nurse is doing my 7 week scan not her!!!


----------



## Pollypoppet

Jules, lots of luck for today, hope all goes well. Xx


----------



## bannyb

Best wishes for today Jules, thinking of you


----------



## julesbfd

Just to say thank you for your good wishes today.
I got a call this morning to say that I had one blast but not quite as far as they would have hoped, a morula and a cavity, i was a little disappointed after they were doing so well at day three.
Went in and had ET, the blast had moved along and was apparently a really good grade, the other two I had put back were still at the same stage so here's hoping the one blast does a good job.

hjanea - I have had some discussions and emails with said consultant and the last one really annoyed me, saying on my follow up she let me talk for over 20 mins and didn't charge me more, therefore i had to pay the £120 when I spoke to her for a few minutes, I have asked if I could send her a bill for my time as she kept me waiting for 1 hour and ten mins when I am paying, I have calmed down alot since then and I'm glad I have pushed to have what I want so that I know I have given it my best shot.

I'm sure I am going to drive myself potty in this next two weeks, back to work tomorrow, it's driving me mad at home, I just keep eating and shopping, I blame the steroids, progesterone and clexane, well I would.
Right off to stab myself in the thigh and stomach.

Have a nice eveing all
Jules x


----------



## hjanea

Jules- she certainly has a certain attitude about her!! Congratulations on being PUPO!!

I've had some pinkish cm this afternoon which has worried me sick. I did an extra gestone at 3pm as I had to get D from school and take her to tennis. Its just about stopped and was very slimy. I'm hopeful that perhaps it was implantation or my plug forming. Now that I think about it I'm on aspirin so I suppose bleeding might be more likely. I have mild AF pains at the moment but I know that I got them when pg with DD so I'm trying to think that its stretching of the uterus thats causing it.Just          now.


----------



## bannyb

Evening all, I hope you're all doing OK? 

SK, I really hope you are feeling much better today and have been taking it nice and easy and resting up?   Thanks for the info on scoring/damaging the endometrium, very interesting school of thought, here's hoping it has helped me.

Jules, congrats on being PUPO! Don't be disappointed, they sound great! (although I'm not sure I know what a cavity is??Hope the 2 ww isn't too torturous for you. Sending so many       and     for you

Hjanea, here's a big   that must have been such a worry for you, glad it has stopped. It's very common to get a bit of spotting in early pregnancy so hopefully nothing to worry about, could be your plug forming, and like you say you are on aspirin so a bit of bleeding might be more likely. AF pains I am sure will be your uterus stretching, I remember really clearly having them during early pregnancy with DS. Try and rest up if you can, are you able to take a sicky tomorrow and rest? Think it would be worth it after going through all of this (not that I would normally encourage such things of course!!) Will be thinking of you x

Hi to everyone else   

AFM really enjoying being PUPO! The bleeding stopped and DH has taken time off work to help me with DS which is just lovely!


----------



## hjanea

Banny-thanks for that. I'm not working until the weekend so I'm going to take it easy today. I am on a school trip tomorow but a lot of it will be sat in a classroom, just an hour looking at sculptures in the afternoon and as I'm a parent volunteer the stress wont be on me!!
I don't know what a cavity is either- well I do but not as an embryo!!
I've only had spotting once during the night- its strange as I haven't had much cm since starting progesterone and this is proper clear cm with blood in it- very strange. Anyhow if it gets worse I shall ring the clinic or the EPAU-just hope I don't have to.


----------



## julesbfd

Hi

hjanea - Hope things are ok with you and there is no bleeding and like you say it is your plug or implantation and we do have to think about takin the aspirin etc

Just to say what a cavity is, well in Leeds terms anyway, they said there is the morula, a cavity and then blast so the stage in nbetween the two.

Jules x


----------



## hjanea

Hi all!!
Jules thanks for explaning what a cavity is.
I had a tiny spot during the night but nothing since. I was googling implantation spotting and and Australian site called bellybelly had loads of useful articles and described exactly what I'd had- pink streaked mucus -as implantation so I hope thats what it was. I kept dry retching this morning and I've been really tired (went back to bed for a nap this morning and could do with another now!) so I'm hoping that these are good signs that everything is progressing as it should.
SK- how are you?
And everyone else?


----------



## Louisej29

Hi all

Sk. How are you. Thinking of you

Banny.  How's the 2ww going.  Nice that your other half is off to help you and give you time to relax!! Hope your 2ww has started ok as well jules!  Fingers crossed for you both, when are your test dates? 

Hjanea.  Tiredness and retching sound like v good signs!! 

I've had no symptoms whatsoever! None! Which has led me to panic a bit as to why not and keep doing cb tests to check they are still positive! paranoid about it all now!  Scan on 10 dec. 

Lots of love and positive vibes to you all! Xx


----------



## SuperKitty

Morning ladies

Just a quickie to let you know that as expected, I got a BFN this morning  . Mickey gave it his best shot (they spotted a gestational sac on one of the scans) and we all tried our best, but he couldn't really hold out against the infection and the rupture etc. Not a surprise, I had already said goodbye and so had DH (as it turns out!) so we are both ok. Most of the tears for mickey were cried last week.  The stuff about never being able to have my own child will have to sink in over time, as these things do.

So, that's that. A line under IVF now, and moving on to adoption. I'm glad to not have to continue with the drugs any more and to start trying to get my body and my life back to normal, it's almost a relief if that doesn't sound too strange?

I will be dropping in on this thread to check how everyone is doing, best wishes and all the luck in the world to you all.


----------



## bannyb

Oh SK, I have tears in my eyes reading your post, I know how hard it must all have been for you both and you had tried so hard. I totally understand what you are saying about drawing a line under IVF and that it will be a relief trying to get your body and life back to normal, as it really takes its toll with all the medication, the strict diets we follow not being able to eat and drink the things we perhaps would normally, and not to mention all the stress involved with each round. However, like you say you have your plan of adoption to focus on when you are ready, and I am sure will make the most wonderful parents being able to offer so much love to a little one who desperately needs it, you are an inspiration and I wish you so much luck, love and laughter along the way on your journey of parenthood xx


----------



## BECKY7

Super kitty  I am so so sorry to hear about your plan and I know the feeling of no more drugs and needle etc  which is why I am having IUI  like you I was getting sick of all the drugs also it is cheaper then IVF and I believe less harm to the egg  Have you not thought about IUI  cos I go to reprofit as it cost me £400 included flights and hotels and foods.
Good luck with adoption as we have been approved for fostering last week

Becky7 xx


----------



## Pollypoppet

Super kitty, I think we were all hoping for a miracle for you this morning. I'm so sorry to hear that it wasn't to be. You've been through such a lot and you know that you tried everything you possibly could to get this to happen, so, when youre ready, hopefully you will be able to move on with no regrets or what ifs. 

How are you feeling physically? I hope you're resting at home, being looked after and taking all the time you need to recover both emotionally and physically. Look after each other, you will make the most amazing parents one day soon. Lots and lots of luck to you on the next sage of your journey xxxxxx


----------



## hjanea

So sorry superkitty.
Good luck with the adoption. I have a friend ( quite a new one) who has a daughter in DD's class and one in reception who are adopted. I hadn't realised but they went through years and years of tx(until I told her about my tx). She was saying that if she'd known that it would take 11 years of heartache before she got her girls then it would've been much easier to cope with and she feels that the reason tx failed was because her 2 lovely girls were destined to be with her and her husband but it just wasn't time for them then.


----------



## Louisej29

Dear super kitty

I was so very sad to read your news : had really been holding out hope for a miracle for little mickey. Life is very cruel and unfair and I truly feel for you , and all you have been through, so very much. I hope your body and mind can start to heal soon and life deals you a better hand

One of my best friends went through 4 failed ivfs. They then adopted a 1year old little girl and they are happy. She said she would be happy to speak to you if you wanted as and when. 

Look after yourself and take good care. Wishing you every happiness that you deserve for your future xx


----------



## Indigo2

Dear Superkitty,
I feel for you so much.  It is just so unbelievably awful when unexpected things like this happen, and particularly painful as expections were so high for Mickey.  I really hope that you are managing to look after yourself, and somehow get through this.  

If you do decide to adopt, I have friends that are going through it, and they have been told that there has never been a better time to adopt.  Changes are happening to remove unnecessary barriers to the process, and a big positive is that if you decide to adopt siblings you get an instant family.  

Thinking of you X


----------



## bannyb

Hjanea, I just wondered how you are doing? Has the spotting stopped? Hope you are OK. 

Jules, hope the 2ww is going well and you aren't tied up in knots symptom spotting?! I was doing Ok but it's got the better of me and I have just started trying to analyse every little thing!! Think we all do it though don't we! 

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all having a good week.   to all


----------



## hjanea

Hi banny- how are you?
Thanks for asking-My spotting had gone but came back last night but has gone again. I'm trying not to worry about it as its not accompanied by any pain or discomfort. All I'm feeling is what feels like a very dull slight af-ish pain that I had when pg with DD and I presume is stretching. I've also realised (duh!!) that my uterus will be scarred from the caesarian I had with DD. I'm obviously bleeding easily (aspirin?) as I've got a bruise on my hand from a fairly light shopping basket this morning.I've felt quite sick for 3 mornings now with occasional retching but not actually been sick which I'm hoping is a good sign.
How is everyone else?
Helen.x


----------



## bannyb

I think you're doing the right thing by trying not to worry, it all sounds like normal early pregnancy symptoms to me and as you say the spotting exacerbated probably by your c-section scarring and the aspirin, which I'm taking too so if I get that far I need to remember it could happen to me too. Definitely a good sign with the morning sickness! When is your scan booked for, it probably seems ages away at the moment?! Thanks for asking, I'm doing OK really, feeling fairly positive and had managed not to symptom spot too much but it finally kicked in this morning and now analysing everything!!


----------



## Indigo2

Hi all, had my first scan of Stims (day 8 of Stims), and only two lonely little follicles there. The nurse warned me that big decision about whether to do ICSI or just revert to IUI will probably be tomorrow (I am self funded so up to me I presume). On my last ICSI the number of follicles I had on day 8, was the number of follicles I had at the end. I know that small follicles do get bigger, but how often do new follicles emerge? X


----------



## HavingitAll

Superkitty, my hear goes out to you - you've been through an awful lot. Be kind to yourself (and your DH) and whatever is supposed to happen, will.

I've posted on the Magpies cycle buddies so just a quickie here - EC today! 7 eggs. Hoping for great progress tomorrow. ET on Sunday or Monday. Can't believe we're doing this!

 for everyone

HavingitAll


----------



## hjanea

Thats great- hope they do well overnight!!


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## Louisej29

Hi helen.  How are you.  Glad the spotting has stopped and no pain or discomfort must be a good thing.  When's your scan

Mines dec 10th. Have had no symptoms at all which worries me a bit! Want to start feeling sick now!! Keep doing cb tests to check! 

How you banny? Symptom spotting is normal.  I was convinced I had every sypmpton to tell me it hadn't worked and af was on the way.  So keep positive.  When do you find out??

Indigo good luck and remember it only takes one!!!

Sk.  If you're still reading you're in my thoughts and I hope you're doing as well as can be expected at the mo. 

Hope everyone else doing ok!

Love Louise x


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## urbangirl

Superkitty, I really feel for you, especially with you having seen a sac, that seems like fate twisting the knife, I honestly don’t know how us ladies get through this stuff, you really have been very unlucky.      Should Care not have noticed there was a cyst becoming haemorrhagic there?  Especially since it was at so serious a level, would it be worth you discussing that with them?  Perhaps you have a case there for a part refund?  I, like everyone else, can totally see why you would want to get off this treadmill, you’re had a very tough month.  I hope the adoption thing looks like it will work for you.  I would do it, but I'd be inclined to go abroad, there are so many barriers in this country.

Thanks to everyone for your input on the progesterone injections question (sorry for not responding sooner, have had a few days off the site), it's very interesting.  My progesterone readings on a natural cycle were, I was told, within normal limits so I never really bothered to check anything regarding that, but now I see that perhaps what is normal is not enough for some of us and I am going to double-check what my levels were.  I have been really hesitating about bringing out the injections simply because if I use them I can't afford to buy them again, so I've become a bit of a hoarder.  i may use them this cycle, only if I have a decent number of embryos though, otherwise back in the cupboard till I get a good crop & can get maximum usage/vfm out of it!  I do think the pessaries are pretty useless, I think I get about 10% of it before it slides out (sorry), very inefficient method of delivery!! 

Pollypoppet, it's interesting how clinics focus on different things, yours sounds like it has a very precise progesterone strategy.  Others have none at all, I've been advised 1 x 200 Cyclogest a day by one and 4 times that amount at another, which just goes to show, clinics treat according to their own ideas, and not the individuality of the patient, because I was the same patient but getting completely different prescriptions... 

BannyB, Hjanea, Julesbfd, hope you can keep sane in the coming days.  Lots of reiki to you and anyone I may have missed on the 2ww.

Afm, just cruising through this cycle, really.  The fun starts with the next one....


----------



## bannyb

Well done havingitall, great number of eggs   for you all fertilise and all goes well
Louise, my OTD is next Fri but don't think I'll make it that far, got hideous af pains over night and cervix has dropped right down and is very hard (should be the opposite if pregnant).. gutted
Indigo,   good luck with however many you end up with, echoing Louise, it only takes one
Hi to everyone, hope you're all doing OK, thinking of you all


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## HavingitAll

How is everyone?

This process feels so slow yet in real terms so fast!

I've never been pregnant but except for morning sickness the symptoms seem the same as AF on her way! Maddening.

Our clinic does no progesterone testing and recommends 2 cyclogest a day. How do you even get tested? They said that I'll be pupo so I only need to get in touch again if  we want IVF again. Otherwise it's a normal pregnancy with my local Dr. No blood test just pee stick. As I'm a first timmer and paying privately I'm so glad to have you gals here. They don't provide much info at the clinic.

Should I demand blood tests? 

Our egg transfer is booked for tomorrow. Can't believe we have 3 good fertilised eggs. We are only going to transfer 2. That's definitively scary enough.

HavingitAll


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## urbangirl

Havingitall, as part of initial fertility tests you would normally have a day 21 progesterone test (it presumes you have a perfect 28 day cycle) to rule out something like inadequate progesterone before going down the hideously expensive route of IVF. It is basically testing the amount of progesterone 7 days after ovulation, so if your cycles were longer/ shorter you would probably move that test date a little bit either way. I _think_ that's how it works...


----------



## SoKar

Hi ladies, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this question but I'd appreciate any help you can offer.  I recently started IVF at one of the top London IVF clinics for over 40s.    It was determined during my scans that one ovary was covered in adhesions and a 6 cm fibroid obstructed access to it for EC.  The other ovary would also be difficult to access vaginally But was very close to the skin when viewed by an abdominal US. Therefore, we agreed that an outside surgeon would be present during EC to attempt to collect the eggs abdominally if it proved impossible to collect vaginally.  However, on the day of EC, the surgeon was not present.  As predicted, it was not possible to access the eggs vaginally and the IVF doctor didn't want to take the risk of an abdominal EC because I have adhesions from previous surgeries and he didn't want to take this risk.  And since the surgeon was not present, the EC was abandoned.  As of today, my repeated questions, both before and after attempted EC, about why the surgeon was not present, have not been answered.  I just can't seem to get a straightforward answer.  Needless to say, I'm very distressed about this and don't know where to go from here. Are there any good clinics out there who do abdominal EC? Should I push for a response from my current clinic? I just do not know what to do.  Please help!


----------



## Pollypoppet

SoKar - hi, im so sorry to hear what happened to you hun. Words fail me. This was known about, discussed and a solution agreed in advance of EC. The surgeon should have been there as agreed. So you went through all the downregging, stimms, scans, blood tests only for them to screw up this vital part if the process. Negligence. I would definitely be pressing the clinic for answers.

I'm sorry I don't know anything about abdominal EC (haven't heard of it to be truthful) someone on here may know. Or you could try posting on some of the individual clinic threads in on the London board. 

Good luck with getting some answers and I wish you well with your treatment.


----------



## bannyb

SoKar, I'm sorry but I don't know anything about clinics that do abdominal EC but I didn't want to read and run. I'm sorry to read what you have just been through, it sounds very stressful and then not to have been given any answers is unfair. I would definitely push this clinic for some answers. If they had agreed a treatment plan with you stating this surgeon needed to be present and he wasn't then it sounds like they are in the wrong. It's too expensive just to ignore, I feel like they should be offering you a refund or something? At the very least you will probably feel better if you are able to talk to them and get some proper answers and understanding on the matter. I wish you all the best with this and with any future treatments.


----------



## SoKar

Thank you, Pollypoppet and bannyb for your responses.  Believe it or not, it's actually soothing just to have my pain acknowledged.  I think I will push for a response from the clinic. I don't want to strain my relationship with them but at the same time, I feel an urgent need to understand what happened.  I just hate to have wasted such an opportunity especially at 41 y/o.  Thanks again for your concern.  I wish you and everyone else much success on this difficult journey.  I pray that in the end all our tears will be replaced with laughter and victory dances!


----------



## AggieD

Hi Havingitall

I am on 2 cyclogests a day. My clinic gave my my OTD and should I be positive then I go in for a blood test. I have had problems before (Ectopic) and they would scan me a couple of times. My 12 week scan would be with my local hospital/community midwifery.

It seems odd that you are dismissed so early. Perhaps its not and my clinic is the odd one out.

I am new to the 40+ pages, but like you I am also on the Nov/Dec cycle chat.

Aggie x


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## Indigo2

Sokar - I would definitely push for answers from your clinic. Can you at least do IUI, so your eggs aren't wasted? Or is that impossible with the fibroid? As well as giving your money back, I would push to have one of the hsp's top consultants on yr next round. Which clinic is it? I had to put in a complaint on my last ivf. I agonised about doing it, and it felt awful, but they have treated me better since.

Havingitall - if u r a private patient and u can't convince them to give tests u want as part of your package - perhaps consider just offering to pay for the blood tests. Obviously u shouldn't have to, but it does make life easier. My clinic just does two pessaries a day as standard too.

Thanks Bannyb and Louise for your thoughts. On my last scan before ec I had two good follicles and two little ones. The dr said she thought I would get one or possibly two eggs. So, I've been reading back over all the advice given to Bannyb.  How many follicles did you get on your last scan before ec Bannyb? I've been scouring these pages to see how often those small follicles get big enough to contain mature eggs.

Egg collection tomorrow, so not long until I know I guess - although tomorrow feels a long way off!


----------



## bannyb

Indigo, I only had two follicles on each scan this time, and then found only one egg between them but it fertilised so here I am (going ever so slightly crazy!) in the 2ww. I only had 2 follicles on my last round too and they both contained eggs and both fertilised. I have had some very small ones on both rounds but they were far too small to be counted, so in my experience the small ones haven't caught up, however I know that some people on here have found they have had more when they get to egg collection so I don't think there's any way of knowing. I really hope you are pleasantly surprised after your collection but if there are just the two then don't give up hope, they could be the best two you ever produce. On my very first round I had a couple more smaller ones too but they didn't actually fertilise so I was left with the lead two to transfer and I have my beautiful ds who is currently snoozing next door   I know how hard it is not to feel disappointed as it happens to me every round, but as everyone says it really is quality and not quantity. Good luck for tomorrow, will be thinking of you


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## Louisej29

Indigo.  Wishing you lots of luck for your EC tomorrow.  Hope it goes really well

banny.  How are you feeling, I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you for Friday!!! ( I also had af pains and was utterly convinced it was over. But it wasnt.  And I'm sooooo hoping that will be the case with you too!)  Is all too easy to over analyse every little feeling during that stressful 2ww! 

Hope everyone else is ding ok!

Xx


----------



## Louisej29

Indigo.  Wishing you lots of luck for your EC tomorrow.  Hope it goes really well

banny.  How are you feeling, I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you for Friday!!! ( I also had af pains and was utterly convinced it was over. But it wasnt.  And I'm sooooo hoping that will be the case with you too!)  Is all too easy to over analyse every little feeling during that stressful 2ww! 

Hope everyone else is ding ok!

Xx


----------



## hjanea

Good luck Indigo!!
Banny- how are you?


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## SoKar

Indigo, best wishes on your EC today.  

I have decided to lodge a complaint with the clinic.  I've thought about it and am satisfied that I'm not doing it out of bitterness but because they've made a few administrative oversights that make me feel they are a bit negligent.  Honestly, I woke this morning wondering if perhaps they forgot to finalize the appointment with the outside surgeon.  Hopefully, they will receive my complaint in good faith but too bad if they don't.  Their response will determine if I continue with them or not.


----------



## bannyb

Hi Louise and Helen, thanks for asking, I'm just about hanging on in there. I was having a really good first week feeling really positive but since Saturday have been over analysing absolutely everything... oh dear!! I decided to test early this morning, yes, way too early.. but it back fired anyway as the test was faulty and the control line didn't show up! Think it was trying to tell me something, um to wait perhaps?! Blimey, I forgot what a killer this 2ww. Hope you are both OK and are managing to enjoy these early weeks and not worrying too much? 

Hi Aggie, sorry I managed to miss your post previously and didn't welcome you to the thread. Are you also in your 2ww? How is it going? Loads of luck for your OTD.. when is it? Mine is this Friday, gulp!

Indigo, thinking of you today, let us know how you get on   

SoKar, I really hope that you get a helpful response from the clinic that helps you feel better about what has happened. It will be interesting to hear what they think happened and why it happened.

Hi to everyone else


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## fififi

bannyb - that'll teach you for trying to be naughty!!!!  
You've not long to go now and the 2ww does actually send you into some wierd time warped land where weeks become months!!! Hang on in there and wait until you test day - is it Friday? AF symptons are good sign as long as no bleed. On my successful cycle I cried myself to sleep on the night before my OTD as was so convinced it hadn't worked (no pg signs at all) and I just felt like I did before any other AF, only extra miserable!
Thinking of you & hoping you get a huge smile on OTD        

(I'm doing ok - had NK cell testing done last week (in case cycle again) & now just waiting/thinking as to what next until Jan 2013 when need to decide if can cope with giving up or whether we should just have one last try. Also hoping for mega Christmas natural miracle - so fingers crossed for that     )

PS. Just popping in to see how BannyB doing as no longer cycling so not read most peoples posts but wanted to say hi to everyone else & wish you luck with your cycles


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## bannyb

Teehee   I know very naughty of me Fififi! How rubbish am I?!! Thanks for popping on to see how I am getting on   and thanks so much for all the prayers and positive vibes, will keep you posted on Friday. Glad you are doing OK, did you have an endometrial biopsy for the NK cell test? It's so hard to know what to do isn't it. Here's hoping for a superdooper natural miracle for you for your Xmas pressie as that would be just perfect        Will keep everything crossed for you


----------



## fififi

bannyb - yep, it was the biopsy. Wasn't as painful at the time as I'd thought it would be, though with my tilted uterus & cervix that hides getting to the point where they could take the biopsy was so painful that after that I didn't really notice!!! Thought I may as well check that since looked into most other things and if we do have another cycle knowing that has been done may give extra reassurance.
Yep the idea of xmas pressie being my miracle is one I'd love - and my expected ovulation dates tie in so fingers crossed!!!
Hugs & hope you keep sane until Friday


----------



## Indigo2

Thanks so much for all the good wishes. It is unbelievable what a difference it makes hearing from people on here who really understand. Two eggs fertilised, and I am going in for a day 2 embryo transfer tomorrow morning -fingers crossed they continue to grow over night. My body feels in a right state after the embryo transfer, and I can only imagine what it must be like for people who have sizeable numbers of follicles (I only had 2 proper ones, and 2 small ones). I would have liked another day to recover, but I guess the embryos are better off in my womb than a Petri dish.

Any tips for surviving the 2week wait would be very much appreciated! Time stood still last time I did the 2ww. I have ordered a multipack of first response, and plan to start testing on day 12. I've noticed people on here are very strict about waiting the full 2 weeks - why is that? 

Thinking of u all, but especially Bannyb   - will be thinking you all Friday, and waiting to hear your news.

Sokar - I think you are absolutely doing the right thing by complaining. It seems like a very clear case. While I was waiting to be picked from egg collection yesterday I had a big chat with the others waiting for egg collection. So many of them had terrible tales of bad treatment, and the one other woman who had complained said the clinic didn't even realise that anything had gone wrong until she pointed it out. She said the clinic had really made an effort with her since (my experience too), so she was glad that she had raised it.

Louise and hjanea - thanks for good wishes - how are you?

Hi to Aggie, and everyone else!


----------



## hjanea

Indigo- hoping your embies do well overnight. Good luck for tomorrow.

Banny - sorry it was a bfn, but its far too early- at least you know your trigger is out of your system.

Louise- how are you.

I had my scan this morning and have one lovely embie measuring exact for dates and with a good strong heartbeat. If I can get the time off work she'll do me another scan on 3rd Jan and says DD can go and have look. My only worry now is that they stop meds at 10 weeks when I thought they carried on until 12.


----------



## urbangirl

Hi ladies, just a quick query for those of you who have the gestone or similar injections  (progesterone), what dose do you take every day?  I was given mine for my first IVF when I didn't get far enough to be able to use them, hence have no idea what I should take should I be lucky enough this time to have a good enough result to justify whipping them out!  

Indigo- great news, 2 embryos, double the chance!
BannyB, good luck getting through the rest of the week
FIfifi, miracles do happen and dreams do come true,  so here's lots of reiki,  just for you     (am feeling poetic today! )
Hi to everyone else!


----------



## hjanea

I'm on 100mg gestone each day.


----------



## Louisej29

Hey all

Oh banny ! Don't test early.  It only brings heartache!! Essential to wait until Friday even though it is sooooo hard!!! I'm keeping everything crossed for you !!

Indigo.  Good luck with emb transfer.  On my first failed ivf our transfer was 2 grade a blastocysts at day 6! 
2nd ivf was transfer at day 2 , we got bfp ! Agree better in you than in the petri dish!! 

Hjanea.  Fab news!! You must have been so excited to see heartbeat!

I had scan yesterday.  He could not see a heartbeat (which utterly stressed me out!) but said its a bit too early and you can't always see right on 6 weeks so am going back again next thurs when hopefully I will see a heartbeat! The worry goes on!! 

Fififi.  Good luck for your Xmas miracle. Sending you positive vibes!!

Love to everyone 

Xx


----------



## bannyb

Helen, lovely lovely news! So pleased for you   


Louise, hope you can make it next Thursday without too much worry. I am sure, like they said, it's too early to pick the heart beat up at 6 weeks. I'm sure all will be fine, but can imagine what a worry it must be for you. Big hugs   


Indigo, that's such great news that 2 fertilised and will be transferred.   A lot for you, will be thinking of you lots   


I know I shouldn't have tested early but I did it again yesterday and got a faint positive, was over the moon then had hideous cramps and back pain all night and tested with first pee this morning and it had almost disappeared, so have been very sad today and assume I must be having a chemical pregnancy    You're right Louise, testing early only brings heart ache. Wish I hadn't done it now but can't change it. Indigo if you read this, don't don't don't test early. Went to my dear uncles's funeral today so have been very sad all round, what a day   


Hi fififi, SoKar, UG and everyone else, thanks for your wishes and big


----------



## hjanea

Oh Banny- hope perhaps your pee was more dilute this morning. Sorry you have had such a sad day.


----------



## Louisej29

Oh banny you sound down. This ivf journey is such a hard cruel one.  But. Wait until Friday and test then.  You won't know for sure until then, try not to second guess it all , I hope that bfp comes up for you, I really do! 

Hope tomorrow looks a bit brighter for you x


----------



## hjanea

Louise- my clinic dont test until the end of 6 weeks or later. Awful that you have to wait longer but I'm sure they'll be a heartbeat next time.


----------



## urbangirl

BannyB, it's really early days, maybe the HCG is a bit choppy?  Unreliable at best. Try to resist til Friday and think of the faint positive as a ray of hope.  Sending     your way.

Louise29, how excrutiating, that is very difficult, we could all say it will be fine but, if you are human, you will worry regardless.  I find doctors generally don't like to build up false hope, so he's surely being practical and honest when he said they don't always have the heartbeat at that stage.   .  

Hjanea, thank you for helping me out with the gestone dosage


----------



## julesbfd

Evening ladies

Haven't posted so far in the 2ww, trying to keep myself sane but reading all of your posts.
I have been feeling ok, 13dpo, 8dp5dt, no symptoms etc.  Today not so good, feel like af is on her way, exactly as has happened over last two tx's so now feeling deflated, I had so hoped things were going to be different this time.
We know our bodies amd the pain/aches are exactly how I feel when af on way.
I threw everything but the kitchen sink at it this time, different drugs, inj progesterone, clexane, steroids, all still to no avail it seems, my body just doesn't seem mto want to keep hold of my embies.

Apologies for the me post, I had just been trying to stay postive.  I wonder if af will actually come given the progesterone or I will have to wait untill I stop it, before I have had the pessaries and always bled early.

Thanks for the ear

Jules xx


----------



## Pollypoppet

Hi jules, how are you this morning? I hope you were wrong about AF and she didn't make an unwelcome appearance overnight. Everyone's different but from my experience of bleeding early on just the pessaries, then next cycle adding the injections, AF bleed came about three days after I did the last injection on that cycle. I suppose it depends how high your progesterone level is and how long it takes to drop to a level which triggers your body to bleed. 

Anyway, it's not over for you yet. When is your test day? (sorry if you said,on my phone it's difficult to look back when replying). Have you tested yet? not suggesting you do, just curious. I know it's hard but do try to keep the faith, and I'll be keeping everything crossed for you for test day.


----------



## Indigo2

Bannyb - I've always tested early, and have found in the very early days the faintness/darkness of the pink line can really vary.  I've read that a big reason for this is that the amount of dye can really vary on the tests. The tests are meant to be treated as a positive or negative test rather than a measure of how much hcg is there. So, basically if there is a pink line u r pregnant regardless of depth of colour.   I'm sure u probably know all this, and I can understand wanting to be mentally prepared for both outcomes on Fri, but seems wonderfully good news to me.

Louise - I've had that agony. What was the size of the sack like? That is another measure in these early days. At week 7 they can tell u much more confidently the outcome   - but of course waiting is unbearable. Has there been any bleeding? Every day with out a bleed is a triumph!

Hjanea wow congratulations - what a total dream. Couldn't be happier for you  

Jules - finger crossed for you. Cramps can mean anything. No blood is a good sign. 2ww wait is agony! 

Prolly poppet, Urban girl, sokar and fifi - lots of positive thoughts your way.

My 2 day et is today. I guess I won't get much / or any info about quality as won't be much to see. What do you think about staying horizontal straight after the transfer, and in the days afterwards? My clinic says u can get up and go to the loo straight after the procedure, and then to just carry on with normal life.


----------



## Pollypoppet

Bannyb - how are you today? Sorry you've had some ups and downs with the tests. I don't think hpt are that reliable in the very early stages. You could test the same sample with two sticks and get different results if it's right on the borderline level for being positive. So try not to take too much from it. I'm praying for a good result for you.sorry to hear about your uncle, that must have indeed been a sad day for you.

Indigo, great news for you, I've only ever had day two transfers, I felt the same, would have liked a bit more recovery time. But hey, our bodies are pretty amazing and I'm sure she won't let you down. Lots of luck for today, hope all goes smoothly. 

Urban girl, my second cycle I was tested for progesterone 7 days post EC and level was approx 70 so was put on 100mg three times a week to supplement the twice daily pessaries. This cycle I was on 100mg every other day from day after EC (plus twice daily pessaries) and at 7 days post EC level was 97. At that point I went up to daily injections which I'm still on. OTD level was 250 and yesterday was over 190(I don't think it's gone down, it was a gp test and that's their upper limit) hope that all makes sense.

Hjanea, lovely news! What meds are you still on? Have you discussed your concerns with the doc?

Louise, sorry you didn't see heartbeat yet but it is very early, my midwife and local EPU won't let me have a scan till 8 weeks for that reason. My clinic will do it earlier but warn we may not see heartbeat. Is everything else ok? Xx

AFM - don't think I've posted my news recently but forgive me if I'm repeating myself! Dementia setting in. I had some bleeding and cramps over the weekend which was concerning as I've never experienced it before, although I do know it's fairly common. After much anxiety, A few phone calls and a couple of blood tests I'm feeling a bit better about it now. My Hcg levels are still rising and progesterone high enough to keep AF away. It doesn't explain where the bleeding is coming from but it's reassuring nonetheless. Clinic want me in for a scan but I'm going to discuss with them later as I'm not sure what it will achieve and have a couple of reasons for not wanting a scan yet. If I'm missing something vital I'll go but if it won't affect my meds or care then I don't really want it.


----------



## Pollypoppet

Indigo - hopefully they will still be able to give you a grading. Maybe some clinics are different but mine still gave me a grading at day 2. They also said stay horizontal for half an hour although both times different nurses say its mostly psychological! But they saidif you can can hold on for half an hour for the loo thats better. Dont worry about them falling out when you go though. Your uterus is like a deflated balloon with the sides touching each other, the embies arent just floating around in a big space just waiting to fall out of a big hole at the bottom. Thats honestly what i used to think . I was terrified id peed them straight out! After transfer, no lifting anything heavier than a kettle for 3 days, just be sensible and let your body concentrate on implanting those embies. Use it as a good excuse for sitting on the sofa and being looked after for a couple if days if you have that luxury. Good luck !


----------



## Indigo2

Sounds like a stressful few days pollyp. When I have been scanned during a bleed they have been able to tell me where the blood is coming from. Although I was past 6 weeks by then. Thinking of u and will log on later to hear the results of your discussion if you post. Good luck and   X


----------



## bannyb

Polly, sorry to hear you've been bleeding and cramping, must be very stressful for you, nut it is really common in early pregnancy and as long as your levels are rising then all is good   Will be thinking of you and   the bleeding stops for you. 

Indigo, best wishes for today and will be   they stick during your 2 weeks of being PUPO     

Jules, really hope you are wrong and AF doesn't/hasn't shown up. It's such a hard time this isn't it. I seem to be having the same problem in that my body doesn't seem to want to carry my embies either. If it's a BFN on Friday following my earlier positives on the tests then that will be my 4th m/c albeit a very early one this time.   yours is a BFP   

AFM I am going to wait until Friday now but don't hold out much hope, my sore and swollen boobs have totally gone now, cramps and back pains stopped, bloated abdomen gone, so no symptoms at all now so not looking very positive to me. Thanks for all your wishes, but deep down I know. I am 99% sure I've lost it. 

Big hugs   to you all, sorry not managed to say hi to Louise, Helen, SoKar, Fififi, UG and anyone else I've (not intentionally) missed, thinking of you all


----------



## bannyb

Now I'm really confused, just did another test (I know, I know but I can't get it out of my head) and it came out darker than both the previous ones but my symptoms have totally gone away...urgh this is killing me


----------



## hjanea

Some people don't have any symptoms- lets hope thats you    !!


----------



## Pollypoppet

Bannyb I've not got any symptoms 
I've got a good feeling about this one for you x


----------



## bannyb

Thanks    I really hope you're both right


----------



## Indigo2

Bannyb - am I allowed to say congratulations? 3 positive pregnancy tests in a row.... Looks pretty amazing to me! 

Polly poppet - hope phone call to the clinic was useful. As you say, as hcg is still rising, things still look good.

Louise - good luck for your scan tomorrow. If there is still no heart beat, ask about the sack size, as that can give some info about the stage of development too. Fingers crossed for a heart beat though.

Big hugs to everyone else too!

I had my embryo transfer today (day 2 transfer), so I am officially on the dreaded 2ww wait. I just simply don't know how I am going to get through it. Results on 27 Dec - that's practically a lifetime away!


----------



## Pollypoppet

Congratulations indigo, rest up now and make the most of it! At least you have all the build up to Christmas to pass the time, just don't go rushing around too much!!


----------



## urbangirl

Pollypoppet, I hope the bleeding has settled, anything like that in such early days can be scary.  If they can tell where it’s coming from from a scan as Indigo says I would have one, if it were me.  Thank you for sharing about the progesterone, that is really helpful, none of my clinics has been so detailed on the subject, normally it’s ET then off you go!  I will definitely check levels this time & decide from that how much to take.

BannyB, you are driving yourself insane with this no test/yes test!  It sounds like you are a nervous wreck at the moment.  You have a line!  That’s fantastic, I really hope you are worrying unnecessarily.     

Jules, sending you     for tomorrow, that is your OTD, isn't it, it'll be two weeks?

Indigo, welcome to the 2ww!


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## Pollypoppet

Thanks indigo and urban girl with your thoughts about the scan. I see where you're coming from about finding where the bleeding is coming from. What i want to know is even if they found out would it change my meds or the advice they give. If yes then of course i'd go tomorrow. 
Going to the clinic would involve a whole day out, entertaining my three year old for 7hours on the train and in the clinic while we wait (DH away working), after they told me on Sunday to stay at home and rest. I know its silly but im slightly uncomfortable at the thought of an internal scan causing more disturbance down there too. And not to mention the small matter of £250 for the scan and £100 for the train. If they don't see anything helpful we do it all again a few days later.
I think the answer is maybe to get a scan done locally but I have a feeling they won't be happy taking the info from someone else.
I'm not an expert, I really would like to talk to the doc. They didn't call me back today so I'm gonna call first thing tomorrow.sorry for me post.

Hope everyone else is ok. Sleep tight everyone xx


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## Indigo2

Pollypoppet - resting seems to make more sense than a mammoth journey, which will disrupt things even more. It is true that they nearly always say come back for a repeat scan in a few days anyway. How much bleeding has there been? Thinking of you  

Urban girl -when is your test date? Mine is 27 Dec, but I seriously doubt that I will be able to wait that long to test.


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## Pollypoppet

Indigo - thanks. Hoping to get a reply from docs today, might have to shout a bit louder though. The bleeding has settled over past two nights (dare I say it?) when it was happening (and sorry if a bit tmi) it started off as brown and watery followed by bright red blood, not as heavy as a period which are very heavy normally, but definately more than spotting. This happened three days in a row, same sort of pattern. 

Urban girl - you probably already know but it might be worth asking gp surgery for progesterone blood tests when you need them. Ours will do them , free obviously which helps with the budget. 

Jules and Louise good luck today


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## bannyb

UG, you are so right! I am driving myself insane and a total nervous wreck! I am trying to trust the line and ignore the symptom side of things, so calmed down a bit by yesterday evening, & AF hasn't turned up so really hoping now.

Polly, I hope you manage to get to talk to the doctor this morning. I think I would try to get a scan locally, surely they would understand the stress involved in having to get there on your own with your daughter, when it's a stressful time in itself, also like you say the cost needs to be considered too. Surely they would be able to have the results faxed to them or scanned through to them so they can interpret them too? I'm really pleased for you that the bleeding has stopped now.  It stays like that for you. Keep resting whenever you can. 

Indigo, great big congrats on being PUPO! I'm not going to give any advice for the 2ww cos as you know I have been totally rubbish on mine!! I guess Christmas will keep you occupied though.  and will be thinking of you and    

Louise, I had it in my head your scan was next week, sorry I would have wished you lots of luck before now. I really hope that you get to see the heart beat, but think Indigo's advice for checking sac size is good.  for you 

Jules, hope you are OK and AF didn't turn up. Is OTD today? so many    coming your way 

Helen, SoKar, fififi and everyone else a big hello and 

AFM have got absolutely everything crossed, I am slowly starting to believe this might be good news but scared to allow myself to think that just yet. Not long to go now. Thanks for everyone's support so far, you've all been wonderful as it has really helped to get some perspective as I've been so stressed out xx


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## Louisej29

Hi ladies

Banny! I have a good feeling about you! You have had a line! Do not worry about the symptom side of things.  Everyone is so different and so many people have no symptoms at all.  The day before my test I cried and cried as was sooooo convinced all I could feel was af about to arrive. I had no preg symptoms.. Yet got my bfp! 

And now, 6 weeks in, I still have no symptoms at all.  Almost want to wake up feeling sick every day! 

Absolutely everything crossed for you and hoping you'll be joining me, Polly and helen on the ivf success for our age group! 


Polly.  How are you, did you get to talk to the doctor. Agree with banny you should get a scan done locally.  Don't think that long train journey with a 3 yr old is the best when you need to be resting.  Good sign bleeding has stopped though.  Hope you're doing ok x 

Indigo.  Good luck with your 2ww.  DONT test early! Hopefully Xmas will keep you busy though I think it's a tough time whatever is going on it will always be at the front of your mind! 

My scan is next thurs. very nervous and just hoping all will be ok.  Still doing the clear blue digital tests every other day to check its still saying pregnant 3plus weeks.  Think I have become addicted to them....

Lots of love to anyone I haven't mentioned. 

GOOD LUCK BANNY!!!    Will be thinking of you in the morning.  Xx


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## julesbfd

Hi ladies

Thanks for your comments over the past couple of days.  AF hasn't arrived due to the injectable progesterone but I am 16dpo and have tested and it's another bfn for me.
I threw everything at this tx and don't think there is any more I could of done, it's sickening and just don't think it's ever going to happen for me.
Three tx's this year and I'm tired, i was holding out so much hope for this time and again it's not meant to be.
I had felt pretty positive up until Tuesday/Weds but then just knew the af pains I had were telling me something.  It's only the injections that are stopping it.

banny - All sounds good for you, I am keeping my fingers tightly crossed for you

Pollypoppet - Hope you got some of the answers you deserved today and you didn't have to shout too loud

Urbangirl - OTD is Monday but only because they don't test on a weekend, as you see I have tested and it's a bfn, I hope you get good news

Sorry for anyone I have missed, my laptop isn't letting me go back to look.  Feeling deflated, will have to see how long before I can see if the frosties defrost and grow but I feel like I am just going through a process and don't feel it is going to work, if it hasn't now, i don't know what else I could do.

Jules xx


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## hjanea

Aw Jules I'm so so sorry    .


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## Louisej29

Oh jules.  I am so sorry to read your post.  That is so hard and so unfair when you have thrown everything at it.  Sending you lots of love and a big hug.  So sorry sweetie.  It's heartbreaking getting such news after all you have put your body through.  I hope you are being looked after , take care xx


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## bannyb

Oh Jules, I'm really sad to read your post    So sorry it hasn't worked, you sound like you had tried absolutely everything, it's so unfair. I wish everybody could just fall pregnant with this treatment. Sending you some really big      Look after yourself x

Thanks everyone, I am praying so hard for this little one to be there and stick but I'm not counting my chickens at all yet. Will let you all know which way it goes after my test x


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## bannyb

that is if I get to that point, I am having awful lower back cramps, had this once before with my last miscarriage   feeling very worried now


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## fififi

bannyb - your head will be going in circles tonight. You've finally got to the night before OTD following weeks/months not thinking about much else. If you've symptoms you're going to read negative into them as part of you is probably too scared to believe that you will get the dream this time.
Hoping you manage some sleep tonight and wake tomorrow to brilliant news       

jules


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## Indigo2

Jules, I am so sorry.


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## bannyb

I definitely don't have a bfp but have a very light line. Will test again later but think I know in my heart of hearts and all this cramping I've been having in my lower back can't be a good sign. Not the exciting news I was hoping for but hanging on to a thread of hope


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## Pollypoppet

Bannyb - can you get a beta Hcg done at your gp surgery? I had one on Monday and got the result the same day. Good luck Hun, hang on in there! X


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## bannyb

Thanks Polly, I don't know if they'll see me yet at the gp surgery about it, the last time I went to see the gp he told me to liaise with the clinic, who will just tell me to wait and test again. I've decided to try a different brand of tests as I've been using cheapies from Morrisons, so maybe a different one will give a better result. It is still the same as when I tested 2 days ago but that was faint so not a great result that I thought I'd have if it was going to stick


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## Pollypoppet

But it's still a positive 

Why don't you get hubby to do a test to so you can see the difference? X


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## bannyb

Ha! Good idea! That made me smile   Thanks Polly xx


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## Louisej29

Banny how are you.  Have you retested.  ? Use the clear blue digital tests  Tells you very clearly in words without having to analyse the line! Hope you managed to get a blood test too.  Still keeping fingers crossed for you  xxx


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## Louisej29

Banny ... . Fantastic excellent amazing super great news!!!!!! Soooooooooooooo happy for you!!! Fab fab fab!!!!  

See... It only takes one!!! way hey !!! 

Fingers crossed all will be well.  ! Xxx 

What a great Christmas presi for you ! X


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## bannyb

Thanks!!!!! We really can't believe it!! I'm in shock that my one little egg has made it...so much so that I removed the post straight after I'd written it as I panicked as scared to tell anyone!! Petrified it'll all go wrong again. Praying this little one stays with us this time. Have bought more clearblues so will be checking regularly! Xx


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## Louisej29

Positive thinking Hun.  Know exactly how you feel, I'm terrified too and the fear of something going wrong is horrible! But hopefully we will all have a nice easy smooth ride (god knows we all deserve it after ivf!)  and just think its your turn. You deserve this! It will work!  I'm going to keep having acupuncture til 3 months and still not touching any caffeine! 

You'll be like me with the clear blues!!! It's nice when you see it going up.  2-3 weeks, then 3plus weeks.  
I bought some more today (20 per cent off in sainsburyd at the mo!) 

Sooooooooooo pleased for you !!!


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## bannyb

Starting to feel more positive by sharing the news with you, I'm having a whoosh of excitement!!   Here's hoping for a nice easy smooth ride for us all    I haven't seen my acupuncturist since directly after the transfer as she said to leave it until I had any news and then we'd work out a treatment plan from there so I need to be in touch with her. I'll keep off the caffeine still too, anything that might help! 

If you could see me now... I really really can't believe this is happening! So happy!


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## Louisej29

It's totally brilliant brilliant news.  I'm having a whoosh of excitement for you as well ! After sooo many injections, drugs,scans, blood tests, egg collection, transfer and the torturous 2ww analysing every single feeling to get a positive is just the best thing in the world . 

Have you had a blood test?  Wonder when your scan will be? 

So, all being well we will have our babies early August!  

Really feel this site has been brilliant, it's  so helpful talking to all you guys.  Don't think anyone can understand what it's like unless you have experienced the ivf journey!  So nice to "meet" people in the same situation xx


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## bannyb

Oh I totally agree, I think this site is just amazing, I couldn't have got through this journey without the support from all of you, you've all been incredible.. particularly as I've been absolutely rubbish during my 2ww!! I've not had a blood test yet, I have a GP appt on Monday so will ask for one then as my clinic don't do them. I haven't rang the clinic yet, will have to do that on Monday too! (when I'll have to confess to having 3 progesterone daily and not just 2). If I get a good blood result it'll probably all start to feel more real! Thanks for sharing my excitement this evening xx


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## Louisej29

Am sure your blood result will be absolutely fine! Hehe with the progesterone.  I've been having a few extras too on days when I've been having an extra panic!  Would take them every hour if I thought they would help!!! My clinic assures me they are just as effective as the injections.  Still not convinced but guess have to take their word for it! 

Are you taking aspirin every day too?  You can move onto the next pregnacare tablets now too!!!! Happy days! 

Have a great wend and let us know how you get on Monday x


----------



## bannyb

Yes, having a baby aspirin every day, so will carry on with that. Ooh, hadn't thought about changing the pregnacare, good job you mentioned it! Yes, happy happy days!    Enjoy your weekend too x


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## Pollypoppet

Banny b I missed you post, but I'm guessing from the subsequent conversation you tested again and got a more definite line? Congrats Hun, hope you're doing ok!

I woke up doubled in pain at 4am feeling faint, clammy and sick. It didn't go so they got me  into EPU for a scan and found a large ovarian cyst which was causing the pain. They said it gets worse or ruptures or twists they'll have to operate, otherwise just monitoring and it will go in a few months(!). Just hoping pain gets better, I can't stand it if it stays like it is now. The good news is that whilst they were there the found three sacs, two of which have heartbeats, one Is misshapen and looks like its had some bleeding. So it looks like I may have lost that one over the weekend when I had my bleeds. So aside from spending most of the afternoon in bed in agony, or almost but not quite throwing up over the loo I was very very pleased to see those little flickers. Thanks for your support ladies with the bleeds, its amazing to have people to talk to who understand x


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## hjanea

PP- thats great news that you've seen two heartbeats, but sorry you are in pain and you've lost one. Hope you soon recover.


----------



## bannyb

Polly, thanks so much    Sorry, I really panicked after I had posted and removed it as scared to tell people in case it all goes wrong, (last twice I was pregnant and told people it all went wrong very soon after) but yes, I tested with a clear blue and OMG!!! In total shock but very happy! Praying the little one stays with us this time.


I'm so sorry to read what you have just been through since yesterday morning, I'm glad they have found the cause of the bleeding but really hope that the pain subsides and the cyst disappears relatively quickly for you. Do you suffer with cysts or is this a new thing that has come with ivf? I've read it can be quite common. Do you have to keep on bed rest as much as possible? Poor you, it's worrying enough in these early weeks without needing the extra stress from this. But hey, every cloud... what exciting news! Two little hearts beating away! Lovely news! Sorry you lost one with the bleed, that's very sad, but I'm over the moon for you that you have two strong ones. Hope you are feeling a bit better today and take care xx


----------



## Indigo2

Polly poppet - wow two heartbeats that is absolutely amazing! I read in your signature that at one point you were told not to continue with ivf. Wonderful that you did, and have two gorgeous twins on board. So sorry about the cyst, pain, uncertainty about how long the cyst Will be there, and the third sac.  Have. You ever had a cyst before - did they explain what caused it?    hugs to those two little babies snuggling in there.

Bannyb -  wow absolutely amazing congratulations!!!!

AFM - generally going to pieces on 2WW. How it is possible that I am only day 5 I don't know, as it feels like several eons have passed since ET. I have been told a thousand times that an embryo can't get out, but I coughed during embryo transfer and I keep worrying that dislodged the embryo. As I write this I am fully aware of how completely ridiculous it sounds.  I feel fully pregnant, which I know is down to the progesterone pessaries, but it doesn't really help (embryo only at blast stage so can't have implanted yet). I really must come up with some kind of strategy to get through the next 10 days


----------



## Louisej29

Polly.  Absolutely fantastic news with your 2 heartbeats.  So pleased for you ! Sorry about the third one and sorry to hear you are in so much pain/having quite a rough ride of it all.  I guess at least you know what the bleeding was now. Hope the pain is easing, are you on total rest? Make sure you take good care x 

Indigo.  It's torturous! And you analyse every little feeling!  Coughing definitely would not have dislodged the embryo!  Straight after my et I was told to get up and carry on as normal.  Not that I did! Spent 2 weeks doing v v v little and got signed off work! But is easy to drive yourself crazy!    Just don't test early! When is your test day?? 

Banny how are you feeling today, still in shock!? 

I'm still having absolutely no symptoms at all and will be glad when Thursday comes and the scan is a bit more conclusive,  hoping and praying  we will hear a heartbeat x


----------



## bannyb

Thanks so much Indigo! I don't think I'm the best person to help with strategies on the 2ww after my dreadful one   Doesn't it just feel like an eternity, I don't think there is anything that compares to the dreaded 2ww. I'm really quite sure the embryo couldn't have come out when you coughed but I know how it is not to worry about these things. I'm sure your little embie is nice and snug inside you. I'll be very much thinking of you over the next week or so and     Hang on in there!   

Louise, I still can't quite believe it and haven't shared the news yet! I am still over analysing every twinge, ache and pain! But I expect I'll be doing that throughout. I will be very much thinking of you on Thursday, but I'm sure it will all be fine as I think 6 weeks was too early for them to see anything. Probably easier said than done but try to enjoy being symptom free in early pregnancy!   that you see the little ones heart beat so you can relax a little   

Polly, hope you are feeling a bit better this evening and are in less pain. Thinking of you


----------



## fififi

bannyb - just popped in to see how you got on and so thrilled to see you got a BFP          
- hope you have managed to eat today through the smiles!!!!


----------



## bannyb

Thanks so much Fififi! We really just can't believe it! Still feeling very cautious as we've got a long way to go yet but praying our little one stays with us this time. Thanks so much for all your support along this journey, it's been invaluable, I really don't know how I'd have made it through without you and everyone else on here. Hope you're OK and having a lovely weekend


----------



## urbangirl

BannyB, so happy for you, you thought this cycle was over practically every step of the way!  Anyway, I am now reassured that stress doesn't affect implantation because I don't think anyone has been as manic as you!  Time to put the fear aside because you know you have your emby and goodness knows it's suffered enough mood swings already!!

PollyP, so sorry you are suffering from a horrible cyst, though thank goodness they could see what was causing the pain and are keeping an eye on things, I really hope they don't have to operate.  It's normally the IVF drugs, isn't it that causes those cysts, so hopefully now you're off them it will gradually go down.  But WHAT EXCITING NEWS! TWINS, blimey, double the fun, double the joy, what a great Christmas surprise!  I would so love to have twins.  

Louise29, thinking of you.  Waiting is very hard when you just want to know what is going on in there.    

Indigo, hope you can find something to take your mind off the 2ww...


----------



## bannyb

Thanks UG, that made me laugh! Yes, you're right, I have been the biggest stress head ever, and I really did think the cycle was over every step of the way, and incredibly here we are so yes, it's time to put the fear aside and to give this little embie some happiness and laughter!


----------



## bannyb

Hi Indigo, just checking that you're doing OK and hanging on in there? Hope you've found something to keep your mind occupied?!   

Louise, I've got a busy day or two coming up and may not manage to get on here so just wanted to let you know that I'll be thinking of you on Thursday and   you see your little one's heart beat   

Hope that everyone else is doing OK


----------



## Louisej29

Thanks banny, will keep you posted ! Just need to see that hb now!! 

How are you feeling? Did you have your blood tests ? Hope all is ok! Has it sunk in yet? 

Indigo. How's the 2ww ?? Remember no early testing  ! 

Polly how are you doing ? Hope you're ok and not in too much pain x


----------



## Pollypoppet

Evening ladies, how is everyone? I've missed a couple of days on here, nothing sinister, just Christmas you know how it goes. Thanks for all your lovely messages. Thankfully after Fridays episode it seems to have calmed down a lot. It's funny I can still feel that the cyst is there but it's not really causing any pain at the mo.The doc said it could get into a funny position and be painful then go back to being ok again. And no more nausea so hopefully that was all related and will stay away. Surprisingly the doc didn't blame IVF drugs though I've heard cysts are common during treatment, and I've never been aware of having one before so I imagine the stims must have something to do with it. 

I have another scan on Wednesday with the clinic which was planned before this all happened. I'm still going to go as I suppose they'll be looking for different things and a second opinion on the source of the bleeding wouldn't be a bad thing either., though thankfully that hasn't returned either. 

Louise, good luck for Thursday, I might not be on before then as will be away overnight for my scan so hope all goes well - enjoy!


----------



## Louisej29

Polly good luck with your scan tomorrow, will be thinking of you.  Pleased to hear the nausea and pain has subsided!  As you say second opinion on source of bleeding can't be a bad thing ! 

I'm really nervous re my Scan now and terrified there will be no heartbeat!  Keep bursting into tears today, feeling quite emotional with it all!!  Need to start focusing on my upcoming wedding day but only have room for ivf/baby related things in my head!!  Talk about doing everything all at once!  Fingers crossed all will be fine x

Hope everyone else is doing ok.  Lots of love to all x


----------



## urbangirl

Louise, it must be really nerve-wracking to have to deal with the unsurety, thinking of you, hope you can get through the next couple of days okay


----------



## Louisej29

Thanks urban girl, how's you??


----------



## urbangirl

I'm just waiting for this cycle to start, then it's back into the routine of daily injections etc etc...  I didn't want to put it off till January as time goes so fast & I'm not getting any younger


----------



## bannyb

Polly, really hope all goes well with your scan today and you enjoy seeing those two little hearts beating away again    Thinking of you   Also apologies for not asking how you are doing when I last logged on, how rude of me after all you have been through, sorry. Really hope you are feeling much better now.

Louise, so sorry to read that you are feeling so emotional over your scan tomorrow, totally understandable after having the scan last week. I really am sure that it was too early though, and I'm   with all my heart that you see the heart beat and all the anxiety starts to lift. Sending lots of   and   

Indigo, are you surviving? Thinking of you   

Hi UG, Helen, fififi, and everyone else, I hope you're all doing OK?


----------



## hjanea

Hi!!

Banny- is it sinking in yet
Polly- hope your scan goes well today.
Louise- hope yours goes well tomorrow- try not to worry- it doesn't do any good and can't change the outcome.
UG- good luck with this cycle.

AFM- sick and full of cold- great combination!! I'm 8 weeks today- seems very strange. I've let DD tell her friends- she's been very good keeping it to herself, and I'm of the opinion that if something goes wrong, it goes wrong and will be a learning experience in disappointment for them!!!


----------



## bannyb

Louise, thinking of you this morning, really hope it's good news.

Polly, really hope your scan went well yesterday and you also had good news? 

Helen, hope you feel better soon, there are lots of nasty colds and bugs around at the moment. Your daughter must be really excited to be able to tell her friends!

Indigo, thinking of you too, hope the time is passing quickly for you. 

UG echoing Helen's good luck for this cycle.

AFM it is slowly sinking in! I've been trying to relax lots and enjoy this early stage but keep having the odd panic that all isn't OK. I realise now how much my past m/c's have affected me and wish there was some easy way of knowing that this little one is still growing, but as there isn't I'm trying not to dwell on it all and trying to focus on this being 'our time'.

Hi everyone else,   to you all


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## Indigo2

Morning everyone.  Thanks for all empathy re the struggles of the 2WW.  I am now on day 10.  I had initially decided to take leave from work for the whole 2WW and was planning to potter around the house putting up tinsel and just generally have a relaxed nice time, but just before I was due to go on leave, I was handed two enormous very stressful projects.  Work had to start on both of them straight away and I had to cancel my leave, and now everyone else is on leave and I am the only one if the office.  I got so stressed and furious about it that I could literally feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins, twinges in heart and I felt completely wired for days.  I was absolutely terrified that my stress levels would effect the implantation process.  I feel a bit calmer today, and now I am wondering if my extreme stress reaction was, in fact, due to the steroids.  I have read on FF that some people get a bit manic on them, and I am wondering if I had the stressed version of steroid driven mania.  I felt slightly sick this morning, which is very exciting, but I am trying to keep grounded by thinking that could be due to the steroids too (or any of the other pick and mix bag of meds I am on).  I usually POAS on day 12 (currently on day 10), so I am agonising about whether or not to.  Everyone on FF is very negative about early testing, and I am thinking that I should probably heed that advice.  Although, I really like the idea of testing on Xmas morning, as it is a BFP it would be such a wonderful Xmas day, and if not well - I'd just have to cope.  

BannyB - The fact your two follicles gave you one egg, which fertilised, and now you are pregnant gives me so much hope, as I don't have many follicles either (two proper ones, and two mini ones).  So I am really excited about your pregnancy - it is a triumph!

Louise - hope you learned more at the scan.  I'm keeping my fingerscrossed

PP - the thought of those little twins keeps popping into my head and making me smile.  Obviously the cyst is a nightmare, but I guess the silver lining is that you might get more regular scans and be able to keep a eye on those those heartbeats.

UG - exciting that your injections are about to start.  What protocol are you on?  I remember you once said that you are just coasting through this cycle - why is that?

Hjanea - interested you have told DD.  Must be lovely to share the excitement.  If I get BFP this time, I was planning on telling DS at three months. Did to plan to tell DD, or was it just so exciting that you couldn't not?

Hugs to everyone else and here's hoping for


----------



## Indigo2

Bannyb - the misscarriage risk also haunts me.  On my last pregnancy (early pregnancy loss at 7 weeks) I just couldn't decide when to relax and enjoy the pregnancy - I just thinking when can I count this as viable - heartbeat at 7 weeks, scan at 12 weeks, after amino and CVS - by that point half the pregnancy is nearly over.  My chances of m/c are very high, so as a self protection thing I keep reminding myself of the risk, but it really ruins the pregnancy.  If I get a BFP and get beyond seeing a heartbeat at 7weeks this time I am just going to try accept it as a viable pregnancy if I can.  Re the wondering if the baby is still growing - the main thing is that there is no bleeding I guess.  How far off your 7 week scan are you?


----------



## whitvi

Hi all,

Thought I would join you if you don't mind as i'm also currently in my 2ww (TTC naturally) and i'm now 40.
I hate it, it's driving me mad!  I feel like i'm getting a crampy stomach but it's far too early for AF (due around 28/12)
I also had progesterone and AMH bloods done this week, so waiting for those results.

Good luck to all of you who are having your scans & to those of you who are in your 2ww!


----------



## bannyb

Indigo, I really like the way you phrased my pregnancy as being a triumph! Thank you, it really does sum it up!   With regards to early testing as you know I did it and got myself in a right old state as after the initial BFN on day 9 or 10 (can't remember which) I then got positives but the lines seemed to get lighter and I didn't know if I was coming or going and have never been so stressed! So I would say on reflection that was a silly thing to have put myself through and if I'd have just waited and then used a digital test at the correct time I would have saved all that stress. However, easier said than done hey! I shall be very much praying for a triumph for you too, whenever you find out!      My scan is booked for Jan 4th so a couple of weeks to go. You're right, there is no bleeding so that hopefully is a good sign. 

Hi Whitvi, welcome to this thread and wishing you lots of luck and hope you get your BFP    The 2ww is a killer isn't it, hang on in there.


----------



## whitvi

Thanks BannyB - and congrats to you on your recent BFP!  Sounds like you have been through the mill yourself and you deserve it (well we all do!)  

It always amazes me how much the FF ladies go through to try and get to our goal.  At the time you just try and get through day by day - but when you look back over the journeys it's truly amazing!  We need to give ourselves a big pat on the back sometimes - so here's some positive hugs for you all.   
x


----------



## Louisej29

Welcome whitvi! Good luck with your 2ww! It's torturous!

No testing early anyone! You'll just drive yourself crazy like banny did!!  I managed to hold out on both my ivfs and glad I did.  Best to test on day with the clear blue digital. Saves any stress as you will know for sure either way without wondering if it's too early/late/correct. 

Indigo. Know what you mean about miscarriage fear. I am driving myself mad reading too much on the Internet I think.  Been reading about missed miscarriages where no pain and no blood.  Really scared for my scan tonight. Have been have having tummy ache last few days. Almost like pre period feeling. Not sure if this is normal or not anymore.  trying to have a restful sofa day watching tv even though have a million things to do!! 

Just out of interest for those of you who have had a bfp when does your clinic take the start of the pregnancy from? Mine takes it from day one of stims, though have heard others take it from day of last period??

Speak soon everyone! 

L xx


----------



## HavingitAll

Hiya gals,

I think I posted here a little while a go. I'm near the end of the 2ww and everything's ok, just going crazy    

I've been drumming up ideas about how to avoid telling people I'm pregnant during the festive-NY season and none of them are going to cut it with our crowd! Thing is, I know that at least 1 of them won't be able to keep it a secret either and if this gets out it will have big ramifications!!! DIL, Ex-W, work promotion for myself and DH, etc. We want to at least have our BFP and the first scan before we tell them and preferably longer since we can't be sure enough in the first 12 weeks.

Anyone have any really good ideas I always drink (not too much of course) and usually beer or wine and the dreaded events will be at pubs, restaurants and friend's houses!

And I'm not keen on saying I've had some medical procedure and am on antibiotics because they'll want details. They are close friends and if it weren't this I'd tell them! But this info can't go anywhere yet.

Help!!!    

HavingitAll


----------



## whitvi

Havingitall - I just pretended to drink! It's easy enough to put the glass to your lips but not really drink it, and it's quite easy also to put a drink down and 'forget' about it.  
You could also ask your partner to get in cahoots with you and surrepticiously swap yours for a non-alcoholic (alcoholic looking) drink when no-one's looking.
I'm sure no-one would even notice, as they'll probably be more interested in getting sozzled themselves!

Then after NY you could then say you're on a detox as you have drunk so much over Christmas and New Year.

Bit naughty to lie but then I think it's true by saying you're on a detox as actually you'll be on a detox for 9 months!

Needs must at this time, and you need to think about yourself - don't worry about anyone else.  They'll understand afterwards anyway.

Good Luck!
x


----------



## Pollypoppet

Evening ladies, how is everyone today?

Louise, thinking of you and your scan this evening, hope all goes well and you see a lovely heartbeat this time.

Whitvi - welcome to this thread, you're in good company with a couple of ladies on 2ww, and lots of positive news on this thread recently too so that's got to be good for PMA. Good luck for test day, do you have long to go?


Havingitall, glad to hear your hanging in there, can't be long to go now.

Indigo -urgh, work sounds manic and combined with the steroids, not much fun.  I've had enough of the steroids now having been on them for 7 weeks now, I just feel like theyre making me feel I'll and out of sorts, I think mainly because I get about 5hours sleep a night on them and am getting more and more run down. I asked the doc yesterday if  I could come off them ASAP and she said we could start tapering a week earlier than normal when I get to 9week -can't wait! Not long to go to test day for you!

Hjanea - sorry you're out of sorts, hopefully you'll be feeling better really soon.

Bannyb - it must be really hard not to think of what happened before. I really hope you can put it to the back of your mind and try to enjoy this one, its so precious and you really do only get one opportunity to enjoy it. 

Urban girl - good luck for your upcoming cycle.

AFM - I went for a scan at the clinic yesterday which was done by a lovely doctor who really took time to explain lots of things to us. It was definitely worthwhile. We saw two lovely little flickering heartbeats which was magical. One of the sacs isn't as well attached as the other and has some bleeding around it so I've been advised to take things gently and avoid heavy lifting or anything strenuous for a couple of weeks to let it get established a bit better. I did have a another bleed on Tuesday night so it was reassuring to see that the little ones were still quite happy even after a bleed. Must remember that for next time it happens! The cyst appears to have gone down a little too which is good news.

Have a good evening everyone x


----------



## HavingitAll

That's all so amazing PP and heartening for us all to remember that a bleed doesn't have to mean the end. Really excited for you.

Thanks whitvi! At parties we may manage it but pubs and restaurant meals? And I can say with certainty that my DH will have trouble swapping drinks for me, we tested it with  people we were going to tell and had to fess up earlier than we wanted!  Anyway we need our BFP first!

HavingitAll


----------



## bannyb

Polly, so pleased the scan went well! Keep rested up as much as possible to make sure that both attach well. Very reassuring that a bleed doesn't necessarily mean a loss   

Havingitall I really hope the rest of the 2ww passes quickly and that you get your  dream.

Louise, thinking of you, hope all went well.

AFM I forgot to take my cyclogest at lunchtime, took it at 7.30pm when I realised but now don't know whether to take the usual one at 11pm or to just leave it until the morning? Any advice greatly appreciated!


----------



## Pollypoppet

Bannyb -not a doctor, but if it were me I'd just take tonight's as usual. I don't believe you can do any harm taking a bit more progesterone x


----------



## bannyb

Thanks Polly x


----------



## Louisej29

Hi guys
Just a quick post as am utterly broken hearted right now.  No heartbeat. Missed miscarriage. In for an erpc on Monday. Cried and cried in the consultants room. Devastated.  Had a bad feeling but so hoped I was wrong and being paranoid. 

For those of u who have experienced miscarriage ( we are 7 weeks and 2 days)  how  do you begin to cope with this.  Feel like I am dying inside.


----------



## bannyb

Oh Louise, I'm absolutely devastated for you    This is so cruel. I want to reach out and give you the biggest hug. It's so incredibly hard to begin with, it really is, and although the sadness and pain never really goes away it does get easier with time. What helped with me was time and then having a plan to focus on where I was aiming for next. But give yourself time to grieve the loss of your little one. Be there for each other. So so sorry or your loss, I really am xx


----------



## Pollypoppet

Louise, I just read your post and am so so sorry to hear that news. I can only imagine the hurt that you must be feeling at the moment. I don't know how long it will be before it starts to get easier, but I hope you have the time and space to grieve about this one and that one day soon it will. i hope you have lots of support from those around you and if you need to chat on here there will always be an ear. Sending you both a huge hug, thinking of you xx


----------



## HavingitAll

I'm so very sorry Louise    

Be gentle and kind to yourself and accept the love and care your friends and family can give you even if they can't really know your pain because they haven't been there. 

HavingitAll


----------



## urbangirl

Louise, I'm so, so sorry to hear this,      I did worry about it when you didn't post earlier on this evening.  It's such a difficult thing to deal with, it's just so unfair.  For my last miscarriage I had a heartbeat at 6 weeks, but it wasn't quite right and I had that same agonising wait for the next scan so I really know how you feel.  Life is just so flaming cruel at times and this is so hurtful.  I hope you don't have to face the world for a couple of days, allowing yourself to wallow in misery for a little while can be the best way to get yourself into the state where you can move forward.  The way I look at it now, for me, is that that month just wasn't the right month or the right egg, I look at it positively in that I had a weak emby that just did it's very best and I hope in my heart that it means when I get a strong one on a different month it will definitely make it.  I hope that doesn't sound trite, it's just what keeps me going.  Cry, rant and rave on here about the injustice of it all if you can't do that anywhere else, we all get it.


----------



## bannyb

Louise, I really hope you managed to get a bit of sleep last night. Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you lots, woke up thinking about you, my heart goes out to you. We are all here for you


----------



## Mish3434

Louise, I'm so sorry to hear you have had missed miscarriage     .  Be kind to yourself hun      


Shelley xx


----------



## whitvi

Louise - ah am so sorry to hear this.  It is a truly devastating experience, so so sad and upsetting I know.  You do need to be kind to yourself and do not beat yourself up (which is easy to do).  As Urbangirl says, it can help to look at it as it just wasn't the right cycle, ie nothing you could have done to stop it happening.  But you need time to get through the shock and disappointment and sadness and to come to terms with whats happened.  Try and rest up and cry as much as you want - just let it out.
I had a m/c at 6 weeks which turned out to be a blighted ovum (fetus reabsorbed) so I was totally shocked and devasted when they couldn't even see a sac, let alone a heartbeat on the scan.  I had been bleeding for a while though and think I had already known in my heart of hearts that it was going to be bad news.  However I managed to get back on my feet and started to look at it in a positive way - in fact now that I knew I actually could fall pregnant was quite a weight off my shoulders and I felt some relief.  That very following cycle after the m/c I fell pregnant again and we now have a gorgeous little girl.  I still look at her and think she is a miracle.
When I was in the triage at the hosp (following the m/c) one of the nurses said the same thing had happened to her and she suggested trying again right at this time (I thought perhaps it was a bit soon as I was still bleeding!) but she said if you felt ready to try again straight away, now is the best time as your body is still in pregnancy mode and you are at your most fertile.  
So I do think for us, that second cycle was the right cycle, my body was primed and ready and I guess it was luck too that we had a viable egg that time.
I do hope you don't think this is taking away the focus on your grief at the moment, and hope that it gives you just a little bit of hope that there is definately life and good outcomes after a m/c.  It makes you a stronger person definately.  You will get through this.

Lots of love and hugs    
x


----------



## kittykins

Louise - so so sorry to read your news.

We had a missed miscarriage at 7 weeks - it was the most dreadful time ever and my heart goes out to you.  

Please take care and look after yourselves.

Words can't say what I want to say but just that am thinking of you. 

x x x


----------



## kittykins

AFM - we had our base line scan on Wednesday and have around 13 follies on the left and maybe 4 on the right - start stimming tonight so here we go again. 

Love to everyone. 

x x x


----------



## Indigo2

Hi Louise, I am so sorry to hear about your news.  My last ICSi ended in misscarriage at 7 weeks, so I feel enormous empathy for your situation.  I got through it by planning my next cycle.  Apparently the fact that you have now been pregnant will make it easier for you to become pregnant again.  Your clinic can treat this cycle to inform what works with you in terms of treatment.  I seem to remember you got quite an impressive number of eggs and follicles too, which is good.  The terrible pain is all the hopes and plans - and just when the pregnancy is starting to feel real - it is over.  I think that it is really good that you are going for D&C.  I tried to wait for it happen naturally, but I bled very heavily for 5 weeks before having to do D&C anyway.  I didn't really get closure until the D&C was over, and waiting for things to happen naturally prolonged my recovery time.  It did take some time for my body to return to normal, and as other have said being kind to yourself is really key.  Will be thinking of you


----------



## hjanea

Oh Louise- I'm so so very sorry      .


----------



## Indigo2

May well see you at the Lister in March, as I am moving there for my next cycle. I didn't have much bleeding at all after my ErPc, and anything that was there was easily contained. So hopefully ivory dress will remain pristine. Sounds like you will be pretty busy, so hopefully the months until March will pass by faster than you expect. Enjoy that champagne at your wedding! Hugs - it does get easier.


----------



## Indigo2

Hi Whitvi - glad to have another 2ww er on this thread. When are you due to test? My official clinic test date is 27 Dec. I really like the idea of testing on Xmas morning, as if it is positive it would be such a joyful day.  I usually POAS on day 12, which is tomorrow. Felt a bit sick yesterday, which was obviously exciting, but I am on so many meds it could just that, so I am trying not to let my imagination get carried away. Those suspiciously early cramps you describe are exactly what I had with my natural pregnancy, so fingers crossed!


----------



## whitvi

Hiya Indigo,

I'm on a natural cycle and think i'll be due to test/af etc around Christmas too.  Not sure i'll want to test on the day though, in case I get a dreaded BFN.  Maybe just have one more day of blissful ignorance, so I can enjoy some bubbles?!  Aghhh it's hard eh.
Yes I remember getting those cramps with my DD, and to be honest I was convinced AF would arrive each day - the symptoms are impossible to tell apart    It can really drive you mad.  Good Luck though - keep us posted!!  

Louise - ahhh try and look forward (as much as you can) to your wedding and the special big day - it's such an amazing experience, and I'm sure you will look absolutely beautiful.  Hopefully by then, the bleed will not be too bad and may almost be over.  You can then try and get yourselves psyched up for the next round of treatment.
Are you doing all your vits and things to keep yourself nicely primed?

Who else is on their 2ww?? How are you all getting on? Sorry I can't remember who else there is.  Lots of   to you!
xx


----------



## HavingitAll

Hiya whitvi , my EC was 6th so I had a blood test today and results will  be Xmas eve. We want to stay in the PUPO bubble and DH wants to make sure he doesn't leak any news to his adult DD  (my Step DD) until we're further along  and we have the day with her tomorrow so we're thinking of POAS on Sunday.  Aren't we just terrible waiting so long The 2ww is just unbelievably hard.

HavingitAll


----------



## Indigo2

Caved in and did an early test this morning and .........     

Yippee! Delighted but, I have a high miscarriage risk, so I can't really invest to much in emotionally until week 7, so have to try and keep my emotions in check! Will be hard.....so exciting


----------



## HavingitAll

Congrats Indigo2!!!      

Why week7? Heartbeat scan?

HavingitAll


----------



## Louisej29

Yay!! That's brilliant news indigo! Sooooo pleased for you... What a fab Xmas presi!!!!  And you give me hope as well about getting pregnant after a mc!    Hope you are celebrating in style!!!!!


----------



## bannyb

WOOHOO!!! Congrats Indigo!          What a lovely early Christmas present for you! I'm really pleased for you, hope you can enjoy it, I know how hard it is in these early days though. 


Louise, I really hope you are OK? I think it's great that you have a plan to focus on, I'm really sure it is what helped me. Also you have your wonderful wedding to look forward to..it'll be the best day ever... and enjoy the champagne, you really deserve some (by the bucket full!). Hopefully the bleeding won't be too bad by then, if you are still bleeding it'll probably be the tail end of it. It's probably a good time to cycle again in March as after m/c or pregnancy they say for a few months your body is at it's most fertile. Thinking of you.




Whitvi, hope you're hanging on in there?   That you get your positive when you test. Are you doing it tomorrow or waiting til after Xmas? Hard decision hey? 


Kittykins, you have a great number of follies from your baseline, hope they all mature for you. Hope stims are going ok too.


Polly, hope you are feeling much better now and I hope you're able to rest up as necessary? Has the bleeding totally subsided now?


Helen, I hope you're feeling better too? Hope you don't have it over Christmas. Are you off work at Christmas? I seem to remember you said you're a nurse, or did I imagine that?! 


 To everyone


----------



## Louisej29

Thanks banny.  Having a difficult time , think the waiting is now getting to me. Waiting waiting to see if it will happen naturally and waiting for Monday and the awful op!  Xmas eve will never be the same again!  Didn't think it was possible to cry as much!!

Consultant told me I could start straight away as soon as have first natural period 4-6 weeks after mc.  Not sure if this is too soon but keen to just get going again!  Really really hoping bleeding will have stopped by 29th.  Now panicking about what underwear to wear !!

Hope you're doing ok and still enjoying your bfp!!!

Love to everyone! 

Xx


----------



## bannyb

Such a hard time for you, I know, and waiting for anything is hard,let alone something like this. You're grieving for your little one and although so small, your baby, so let the tears come as they need to and they really will lessen with time but you'll never forget, there will always be a special place in your heart. I think if you are ready to start again then it's not too early, but wait and see how you feel. I know I was keen to get going again so only had one period before the one I started this cycle with. I really hope the bleeding has stopped in time for your wedding but can you have some back up undies just in case it hasn't quite stopped? It's only you and your DH to be who will know, and I'm sure given the circumstances he won't mind at all. You can always do an evening of champagne and sexy undies another time for him!    Hang on in there, you're doing really well xx


----------



## Louisej29

Ah thanks for your kind words banny.  You've really been a great help & support to me!    You give me hope too of success after mc! 
So nice to speak to someone who fully understands x 
Yes have had my sister and best friend on the case today.  Mission to find ivory underwear suitable for wedding day if have to wear sanitary towels!!! But not too granny! The sexy expensive original ones will have to wait if still miscarrying !  What a total nightmare!! Not in my plan of things!    


Hope you're doing ok, and it's all a bit more real now.  When's your scan ?


----------



## bannyb

Just back from Life of Pi in 3D, great film but shattered now! Hope they find suitable undies.. Bridget Jones eat your heart out!! Yes, it's slowly sinking in & I 'm over the moon but feeling very cautious about it all for now. Scan is booked for Jan 4th, I will be a bag of nerves going to it, but it has to be done. I lost both of mine later in the first trimester though so not sure if I'll really relax until into the 2nd. Might ask for another scan at 9 or 10 weeks if it might help.


----------



## whitvi

Indigo!  Oh my God wow! Congrats!!!! How exciting and what a wonderful Christmas pressie        (sorry went a bit mad there - silly iPad) ah I'm soooo pleased for you both.  How are you feeling. Any symptoms yet??
Xx


----------



## whitvi

Ah Louise I really do feel for you bless you. You've got so much going on right now, please don't be hard on yourself. And I would def be inclined to try again ASAP, but that's just me. Go with your gut feel and don't worry about anyone else. 
If its any consolation I spent a fortune on lovely underwear for my wedding and it was so uncomfortable that I changed out of it half way through the evening!  It's been used since though lol   
You will get through this even though you don't think so right now. Will be thinking of you on Monday.  

Banny b - what did you think of life of pi? I'd love to see it.  I know how you feel re not relaxing. After I got pregnant with my dd (cycle after mc) I probably didn't relax throughout the whole pregnancy.  I think I missed out enjoying it though, and I'm adamant to try have a positive outlook next time around. Easier said than done I know. My thought process is if It's going to stick then it'll stick, and if not then well it was also just meant to be that way.  What I mean is try and let yourself enjoy it. I do regret being so cautious last time but then hindsight is a wonderful thing! I do totally know how you feel  

Afm - I'm going to stick it out to boxing day if I can - that'll take me up to cd 26 and my usual cycle length. Do you reckon I should wait a bit longer than that? Aghh it's torturous!!

Xx


----------



## Louisej29

Thanks whitvi. I'd definitely stick it out til boxing day!!! Keeping it all crossed for you!!


Lots of you seem to have got preg after mc which is something I'm holding onto!!
will def try ASAP.  Everyone keeps telling me I need to let my body recover.  But I'm 41 in jan.  no time to waste. I'd start the injections now if I could!!!
Feeling crap today, fluey, cough, cold the works.    Now panicking they won't do Erpc on Monday and I'll be forced to miscarry naturally. Aaarrgghhhh.  We spoke last night about , if this is to happen, do we postpone wedding.  Easier said than done but do not want to be miscarrying on my wedding day.  Don't know what to do anymore.  Will see how tomorrow goes . 

Have a good Sunday xxx


----------



## HavingitAll

o my gosh louise - that's all very difficult! My heart goes out to you    

HavingitAll


----------



## bannyb

Just thought I'd pop on and wish everyone a Merry Christmas! I hope you all have a lovely time xx


----------



## Pollypoppet

Louise, thinking of you today. I hope it goes as smoothly as it can, there will be tears I'm sure, but let them keep coming. You're a brave day and will get through this xx


----------



## Pollypoppet

Indigo, congratulations! Such lovely happy news, and a lovely Xmas pressie too xx


----------



## whitvi

Louise thinking of you today hon. Hope you were able to have the procedure and that it's not too awful for you. At least you can now try and move on with your goal and to grieve your little lost one, you never forget and they will always be remembered in your heart.
Let us know how it goes if you want to talk x


----------



## whitvi

Girls I'm still hanging in there but have an awful impending feeling of af! All the symptoms plus by bbt dropped quite a bit this morning so that's bad news. Oh well hopefully next month. Least I can have a good old drink and eat lots of smelly cheese over Christmas! 
Have a wonderful time all you lovely ladies.
X


----------



## Louisej29

Thanks for all your messages.  Erpc done.  Sobbed and sobbed on way to theatre and begged them to recheck no heartbeat.  Probably worst day of my life.  Now home , physically feel fine, emotionally bit of a mess but trying to pick myself up for wedding day sat!!!  Hopefully 2013 will be the year I finally get to be a mum.  

Banny Polly indigo. Hope your  little ones are all developing nicely and your pregnancies run as smooth as they can.  Will keep it all crossed for you !

Whitvi ... I had af symptoms when I got bfp.  Hang in there !

Happy Christmas everyone and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support.  Can't tell you how much it means 
Xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## kittykins

Lou - my heart goes out to you - what a dreadful day for you.  Luckily (not sure if it was lucky or not) but when I mc it was natural - very painful and could see everything - you will get there - hope you have as lovely a wedding as you deserve hun. 

Wishing you all a happy christmas and may the new year bring all our dreams true. 

x x x


----------



## bannyb

Things not looking good here, severe back cramps and spotting    just how my last m/c started, absolutely gutted


----------



## fififi

bannyb     
So hoping you're wrong - thinking of you and wishing with all my might that it's a false alarm          

Try to stay positive, though I know that's pretty much an impossible thing to do. You spent much of your cycle convinced it had failed yet got that elusive BFP so even when there's no good signs there's still possibilities that actually it's all okay


----------



## urbangirl

BannyB, I really hope it's okay      Have you phoned the NHS line for advice?


----------



## bannyb

Thanks fififi and UG, me too, I so hope I'm wrong. I have just done the symptom checker on nhs direct and it told me to ring a doctor in the morning, but to be honest there isn't anything they can do, if I'm going to m/c then they can't stop it, they'll just tell me to sit it out and wait to see what happens. So I'll just have to rest up and pray very hard. What a horrible start to Christmas


----------



## Louisej29

Dear banny

Thinking of you lots and hoping you are panicking unnecessarily again!!!!!!
Isn't spotting normal in early preg??  Fingers crossed all is well, have you managed to speak to anyone? 
Try and rest and I'm keeping everything crossed for you
Lots and lots of love (& happy Xmas!) xx


----------



## bannyb

Thanks Louise, I really hope that I am panicking unnecessarily too! I spoke to the emergency ivf nurse and she told me to rest as much as possible and take paracetamol and if I am still spotting tomorrow then they'll see me in the early pregnancy assessment unit to see if I am m/c. I'm clinging to a thread if hope that it is normal spotting but my last m/c started just like this    Anyway, enough of my worries when you are going through the toughest time, your pm yesterday made me cry, I really am so sad for you and I so hope that 2013 is your year   I can't thank you enough for your support when you are going through everything you are, it really means so much to me, thank you, lots of love xx


----------



## Louisej29

You need to make sureyou do rest completely: make sure everyone else does the work!!!!  That's what I'm doing today, being pampered and looked after ! Are you in any pain at all ? No tummy pain a good sign ... I'm sure it's just normal preg spotting but with all you have been through you are probably worrying off the scale! 

Drank 2 big glasses of wine last night: mixed with anaesthetic made me completely woozy and spaced out.... Just what I needed!! 


Hoping your spotting stops soon! Enjoy your Xmas dinner..... And rest!!!!! 

Xxxxxxxx


----------



## Indigo2

Banny - Lots of women on here talk about spotting in early pregnancy, which just passes, so just keep focusing on that.  Nothing is inevitable at  the moment.  The only thing you can do is rest, so what ever is bleeding isn't disrupted any more than it has to be.  At least you only have to wait until tomorrow for your scan (although that is a lifetime away I know), and hopefully then you will know whether the bleeding is coming from - around the sack or somewhere else completely.  In my experience they can't really be conclusive until 7 weeks, so I would try and be prepared for not really knowing for a while, and just try and get as much info as possible e.g. on sac size and range etc.  What colour was the blood - bright red, watery or brown? What was your beta like when  you first got tested? I'm so sorry that this happened at xmas  (or at any time).  I really know how devastating it is to see blood - but as long as it just spotting keep focused on the fact that it might be nothing at all. Hugs X

Louise - I hope that you are somehow recovering a bit.  I really think you did the right thing going straight for an erpc, as it means that you can move on with your next cycle more quickly.  I know what you mean about wanting to start cycling straight away, but I think it worth seeing how your body  feels.  I have ovarian aches which never really went away after my last misscarriage, but carried on and cycled anyway as I couldn't bear to wait another month, and I got less follicles this time.  I do wonder whether I should have had another months recovery, but there really is no way of knowing.  I expect your next cycle feels a million miles away right now - I coped with that by setting a few goals like losing a bit of weight, and other health related things that I hoped might increase my chances on my next ivf.  In the meantime, that booze and anesthetic combination sounds like the bests medicine you can get right now!  From what I have heard your chances of getting pregnant are much greater when you have been pregnant before, so even though this cycle has not  worked out, it hopefully has increased your  chance on your next cycle - or hopefullyeven  of an au natural honeymoon pregnancy.  Loads of hugs.  It is all just so painful.  I'm moving to the Lister for my next cycle (prob March) - so we may well be cycling together then (if my current BFP doesn't get to 7 weeks). The pain does get easier.... X


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## bannyb

Thanks Indigo and Louise. I had really hoped to wake up and find it had stopped but it hasn't    so have spoken to clinic and the assessment unit isn't open today it turns out so I am booked in for 9 am tomorrow morning. The back cramps have stopped now so hopefully that's a good sign but have googled it like crazy and read so many different conflicting things have decided to step away from google! So will just have to wait and see. Got a house full of people staying from yesterday and wishing they'd just disappear so I can curl up in a ball on the sofa as currently hiding up in my bedroom!


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## Indigo2

What a nightmare having all those people over...... Hugs X


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## Indigo2

Hope u at least have a TV in your room - hopefully lots of good films on today, and maybe that's a way of making the time pass if you can't face people right now. On my last cycle obsessive googling informed me that a lot of women do have spotting in early pregnancy and are ok, so I guess all you can do is accept that info until you have some real evidence from your scan. It is total agony I know.    I haven't even started spotting yet, and I am already planning my next cycle, so I really do understand the psychological tendency to think it is all over..... X


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## Louisej29

Hey ladies.  Thinking of everyone especially you banny and hoping so much that all is ok for you.  I really do think spotting is normal. And that the back cramps have stopped is a good thing surely!  Can't you just tell everyone to go!!

Indigo... Hoping I won't be cycling with you in march at the lister!! Hehe! Hoping you will not need to cycle again !!  The fact you have had a bfp after your mc is something that really does gives me hope!! I hope I follow in your footsteps!! 

Have had a few very bad days and feeling numb and empty. Still can't believe my little baby is dead and I have to start all over again. Xmas childless is always hard, this year has been unbearable.  Just want to be a mummy and am now becoming obsessive.  Must try not to lose my mind!  Everyone keeps telling me I have my wedding to focus on but can't even focus on that and feel guilty for that too.  Should be such a happy time. 
We've talked at length about postponing it but have decided not to, hope I have made the right decision.  Will prob be the most emotional bride ever!

Sending you sooooooo much good luck for your appointment tomorrow, please let us know how you get on, will be thinking of you 

Xxxx


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## bannyb

No tv in our room! DH politely asked everyone to leave so have a quiet household again    Spotting seems to be worse than last two days so not even sure I'll make it to tomorrow but really am trying to remain positive. Can't believe might be m/again for the 3rd time this year    This was my last attempt too, DH has said absolutely no more, so if this is over then the whole game is over for me,and I'm saying that with a very heavy heart.


Louise, I really do know how you must be feeling and it's such a hard place to be, but I don't think you'll regret the decision to go ahead with your wedding and hey, brides are supposed to be emotional! Hang on in there, your time will come to be a mummy   


Indigo, I know where you are coming from focusing on the next thing as that is how I got through my CP and last m/c but you have a BFP so keep positive! I know that's coming from me (!) but I guess I've been here so many times before that I am just losing all hope now, but don't you lose hope too, you have every reason to believe this will go on to be a strong pregnancy   


Hugs all round xx


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## urbangirl

BannyB, there's still some hope, I've read other ladies in past posts who had a terrible large blood flow and the scan showed what it was and it wasn't the end of their pregnancy, there are so many different things that can happen, but i know that once you've had a miscarriage there is a tendency to think it's all over. I think you're being very brave, really. At my first miscarriage I ran down to A&E in floods of tears. They were quite good with me, actually, very understanding. Well, they were when I finally got a (lovely) female doctor.

Louise, words fail me, I have so much respect for you and how you are handling all this what with the wedding coming up and all. You have got so much on your plate.

Indigo, it must be hard with all this going on to think positively, but we are all thinking positively for you (& Banny)      that everything is fine.

AFM my cycle has started, but I was told not to try and get pregnant for at least 4 months (if only it was that easy!!!) by my specialist because yet another health issue has popped up (I'm a fiend for tests!) & the meds would be harmful for a foetus, but I'm really happy in one way because I like to find things that are wrong so I can fix them and hopefully then all this will work, I just wish I had reached this stage a little _earlier _ , which I would have if I had a few more £££'s to throw around . Anyway, I can't really not cycle for 4 months when I'm nearly    years old so I'm going to anyway but will have to freeze only, which is b-o-r-i-n-g!!! no little bit of hope to look forward, just have everything taken out and come home.   

Merry Christmas everyone!!!  & more    for anyone who needs it
xUG


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## bannyb

Thanks UG, I am trying to remain focused on the fact there could still be some hope, I had posted elsewhere about it and 2 people have responded with similar stage bleeding and have gone on to have successful pregnancies, so feeling that glimmer of hope returning. Today is taking an absolute eternity! My poor DH is getting the brunt of it all as well, he's just taken DS out to see my family, think I was doing his head in!


I am glad they have found the health issue for you so it can be addressed    but completely understand why you are cycling anyway. I've read that frozen cycles with the over 40 age group are more successful, so every cloud and all that! Loads of luck with getting some good embies to go in that freezer xx


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## Louisej29

Banny hope you are ok.  That sounds more positive that you've spoken to people in similar situations who've had successful pregnancies! 

Ug hope you're ok. I would be doing the same as you, hope you get some good embies. 

Indigo hope all ok with you

All ok here .. Ish! Physically feel fine after Erpc. Can't quite say same emotionally and still just keep crying but we will survive!  I had a friend yesterday tell me I really needed to pull myself together now because , at 7.5 weeks it wasn't really a baby, just a mass of cells. Upset me deeply.  So last night Stuart called them up and said they are no longer welcome at our wedding and best they did not come! I cannot and will not forgive such a comment.  Friendship over!! 

Maybe I'm being overly sensitive but to me it was my baby and always will be. 

Anyway hope your appt went well banny.  You've been in my thoughts a lot xxx


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## bannyb

Oh my word, that is just awful, it doesn't matter how old your baby was, it was still your baby and anyway, all of us are just a mass of cells however old we are! I can't believe someone would be so insensitive to you. Big  Glad you are feeling physically fine. I think your tears will keep flowing, and sometimes when you least expect it, I still sometimes find myself having a weep, because like you say they were your baby, but you will find it gets easier with a bit of time, so hang on in there xx

Thanks for thinking of me. We have just got back and what an almighty relief, everything seems to be OK!! I almost burst into tears I was so relieved, I had already dropped a cup of water all over the floor in the waiting area I was shaking so much when we got there and just couldn't believe it! They don't know why I've been spotting or cramping so badly but the sac is the right size and everything seems to be in the right place, and she could see a very slow pulsing, which she said is normal for such an early pregnancy, she said she would have dated me 5 weeks 5 days rather than 6 but she really thinks everything looks OK. I have never been so relieved about anything ever in my whole life, I truly thought it was over. I just have to rest up now and hope the spotting goes and then stays away. I know we have a long way to go yet, but this feels like a huge hurdle to have got over. Next scan next Fri.

Thank you so much to everyone for your kind words and support, It is a huge help to me and offers some better prospective as I know I am an awful worrier! xx


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## Sushi Lover

Hi girls,

I'm not cycling at the moment so haven't been contributing to this thread... but I still follow everyone's news ....

*Louise*..... that person really isn't a friend to say such a hideous thing to you. How can she say it isn't a baby at 7 1/2 weeks?! Of course it is! It beggers belief. You are definitely not being overly sensitive. Never think that. Stay strong and surround yourself with people who are thinking of you and not coming out with such crappy things. I don't blame your other half for telling them they are no longer welcome at your wedding. I wouldn't want them there either. What is wrong with people?!

*Banny*.... your whole story has given me so much hope to carry on with my next IVF cycle. All those scans when you were upset to have only a few follicles to get 1 egg and then it fertilized and is now hanging on in there. So relieved your scan went well today. I bet you were terrified. What amazing news to hear everything is alright. You rest up lady! Your body is obviously telling you to slow down and take it easy. Best of luck for next Friday.

KLS X


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## Pollypoppet

Hi ladies, haven't been on much over the festive period but just came on to see how you were getting on, spells Louise and bannyb, been thinking if you over the past couple of days.

Louise, you are being so strong, I don't think it's possible to be over sensitive in your situation. However you feel it's totally natural and I think your friend was incredibly insensitive to say what they did.  It must be so hard to focus on your wedding but I hope it brings you some joy in the dark days, it will be very emotional I'm sure but your friends will understand.

Bannyb! I was so relieved to read your post. I know the heart sinking feeling when you see the bleeding. It's heartening to read its not always bad but almost impossible not to think the worst till you see the proof on the screen. Anyway, all good, now do try o take things as easy as you can, no more scares please!

UG - good luck with this cycle xx

AFM - 8 weeks today and thankfully no more dramas! I have an NHS scan on 7th January to check the cyst, so although I wouldn't choose to have the cyst at least I get another scan! Clinic say I can start tapering off the steroids when I get to 9weeks (can't wait) and the other drugs at 10 weeks.


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## bannyb

Kirsty I really do wish you all the best for your cycle in the New Year, I am really glad my story so far is able to give you some hope as I really have benefited from others on here too. Thanks for following what is happening with me, and thanks for your kind words. Yes, I was absolutely terrified but I am now enjoying the feeling of the huge weight that has (for the moment!) lifted   

Thanks Polly, and I am so pleased to hear that things have settled down for you, what a relief! I know it's probably a worry having a cyst but at least you know it is there now and they will monitor it closely for you, and fab that you get some extra scans to see those two lovely little hearts beating and growing! Wow, 8 weeks already! (though probably doesn't seem to have gone quickly to you?!) You'll be into your second trimester before you know it! I hope you have had a lovely Christmas


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## bannyb

Sorry, just read that back and Kirsty obviously I hope you have had a lovely Crhsitmas too! (and everyone else on here)


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## Louisej29

Fantastic news banny!!!  What a relief!!! Time to relax now and try & enjoy the pregnancy! Sooooooo pleased for you x 

Great news too Polly, glad all going well!

Kirsty.  Good luck for jan, I'm sure I'll be talking to you on here as I restart cycle 3,,!!

Prob won't be on for a while now as time to go and get married on Saturday and try and put all ivf related things aside for a few weeks!! 

Take care everyone!  And sorry for anyone ive not mentined !! Lots of love xx


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## hjanea

Posted earlier but lost my connection just as I sent it!!

Louise- I hope you are able to enjoy your wedding as much as possible in the circumstances. I certainly don't think you were being over sensitive about your 'friend's' remarks. Regardless of what someone might think privately to actually say that is appalling. As well as a human being been formed that 'group of cells' carries all your hopes and dreams for your future and to lose it and them is devastating. I also think you have done a very brave thing in 'unfriending' them and sticking up for yourself. I'll be thinking about you on saturday.

Banny- I'm so so chuffed for you.

Polly-hi, pleased all is well.


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## bannyb

Thanks Louise and Helen   


Louise, I wish you such a happy day on Saturday! I hope you have a magical day and enjoy every minute of it, you really do deserve it. Congratulations in advance! Thanks for everything on here, you've been a truly great support. I'll be very much thinking of you both on Saturday and in the future. So much luck for your next cycle,  I will keep my eye out for your news and progress. Take care xxx


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## urbangirl

Wow, Banny, such great news, I think we're all making a collective sigh of relief!  So pleased for you.

Louise, I think that sort of thing is why we're all here, people not going through this just don't understand but I really wish if they weren't sure what to say they'd just keep their mouths shut!   .  In that 'mass of cells' was invested all your hopes and dreams for the future, how many days or weeks it was isn't the point.  What a stupid thing to say, but how wonderful your soon-to-be DH is to call them up and tackle the situation head on, what a lovely man you are marrying!  I don't discuss my tx with any of my friends anymore because I know they'll just upset me....

Pollypoppet, glad things have settled down, are you getting your head round the idea of twins now?  I think it's so exciting!! 

Indigo, can't see your profile now, but your OTD must be soon?

AFM, this cycle is not looking great, but I don't really expect things to go as well as a year ago, I'm just glad to have any follicles at all really given that my amh must in minus figures by now.  About two or three follicles, though sometimes some suddenly appear from nowhere later on so I'm hoping it'll improve.


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## bannyb

Thanks UG! Keep positive, as you know I only had 2 follicles all the way through and then only one lonesome egg and I've (somehow) made it this far! So two or three at the moment isn't bad. When is your collection date? Will keep my fingers crossed for some extra ones that might be hiding from you right now!


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## deblovescats

hi guys
can i join you? i'm planning on cycling again in 2013 - got an intial appt booked at serum in jan.
i'm 45, had 2 DE IVF - BFN - so was a bit dispirited, but getting more positive. Was disappointed in clinic in UK = just said just statistics that didn't work, my lining etc was good. Katie at serum thinks it could be quality of donor eggs as egg share with same donor, got 8 eggs, 6 fertili\ed but only 2 went to blast, both failed, one was FET. Katie thinks it could have been the eggs (I was disappointed as i sort of assumed that would be better option than my own) but wondering as donor needed treatment, if a falure with her eggs.
Abroad, you get all the eggs as well and proven donors.
So trying to be positive, not sure when will be cycling though.
Deb


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## bannyb

Welcome Debs (hope it's OK to abbreviate), I recognise your name so must have read a post on another thread but can't think which! I think I too would be disappointed going through the DE route to find that perhaps they weren't any better than your own, it's hard to know what to think isn't it, though your donor might have needed treatment from her partners side of things rather than hers?? Anyway, by all accounts Serum get really good results with our age group with DE so you'll be in very good hands. Loads of luck with your treatment when it starts, lots of   coming your way


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## Indigo2

BannyB - what a relief! I am so happy for you!  I had a burst of happiness when I read that everything was okay at your scan.  I was reading one of the early pregnancy threads and someone said ' we are pretty normal on this thread in that we all bleed, have cramps and disappearing symptoms' or something like that, which just felt really reassuring.  We have all pretty much been through miscarriages on this (over 40s) thread, so I guess that affects things.

Louise - wishing you a wonderful wedding tomorrow! 

UG - Sorry about the delay with ET, but great that you are still able progress to EC.  Better to have ET when your body is at it's healthest without delaying EC.  Is your latest scan the first scan of stims or a baseline scan?  

Hi Deb - welcome! Serum sounds interesting , so I'll look forward to your updates.


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## Indigo2

I feel like I am going slightly bonkers on the steroids.  High anxiety and stress (mainly about work), and possibly a very mild mania.  My clinic said that it is not steroids causing those symptoms (impling that it is a stress reaction to ivf), but I can't quite believe that.  Although obviously IVF is very stressful, so perhaps.


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## indiajo

Hi sorry for not updating.. I got my BFP on 22/12 and am still waiting for it to sink in!... My scan is 15/1 and I can't wait for that hopeful reassurance  x


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## Polarbear72

Hi there, I'd like to join in with the current cycles please! I've had a hycosy now which showed no issues so apart from my low AMH no other issues. I am on the DHEA and I need to make my first nurse appointment when the lines re-open on Jan 2nd so guess my first round of IVF will be late Jan, early Feb. Decided to take e pressure off myself in December and eat, drink and be merry as two years of trying for a baby to get to IVF now rather than later has been pretty stressful.


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## Pollypoppet

Hi debs and polar bear, good luck with your cycles, wishing you both all the luck in the world.

Louise, not expecting you on here for a while, but hope you had a fantastic wedding day xx

Indiajo, congratulations! Wonderful news, and a wonderful Xmas pressie!

Indigo, bannyb hope you're both doing ok.

Urban girl, hope its all progressing nicely with you too, I only had 3 follies all the way through too, and just look at bannyb! Keeping everything crossed for you. Things fine here thanks, haven't really even tried to get my head around the twins idea yet! Just waiting to see what this next scan brings I think, then might allow myself to think about it. You know what it's like, don't want to think too far ahead. Hubby has hinted we'd probably need a new house, or extension, and new car, yikes, maybe it would have been cheaper to go for a couple of SET's instead of chucking it all at this one!!! I am of  course joking, it will all work out however its meant to. Xx

Hi anyone I've missed xx


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## urbangirl

Hi all, many good wishes to Louise, when she signs on again, hope you had a perfect day.

PollyP, I know what you mean, no one wants to count their chickens on this thread, it is difficult for us 40 pluses, but I send lots of    your way, sounds like your hubby's imagination is running riot!

Hi Polar, good idea to have some fun before tx, because it can really take over . I just had a few big yummy sweet cakes over xmas and already I am feeling guilty. Haven't had any treats for so long!

Hello DebLC, I recognise your name also from other threads. Sorry about your bfn's, I hope you have better luck at Serum. That's interesting what they suggested about the donor, we never think about these things beforehand. Have you asked at the clinic what the donor's reason for having tx was? I'd be mighty miffed if the fertility problem was on her side, considering how much all this costs.

BannyB I know it only takes one, and I'm really inspired by your cycle, but I feel with freezing you need about 3 just to be confident that one is going to make the defrosting, maybe 5 as you approach the mid-40's like moi! I always have about 50% empty follicles as well. If I had just turned 40 it might be different, but as every year passes I feel the eggs get a little more fragile. It's just a teensy bit stressful, but hey ho, will just see what happens.

Hi Indigo, I didn't have a baseline this time, just had my day 5 scan. If I had a baseline I'd have to pay an extra £150 for it in London as it wouldn't be at my clinic and finances are super-tight at the mo. I _think_ baseline is just to check whether you have a cyst left over from the previous cycle so I think I can get away without having it as I never get those, not since I changed my meds a year ago, anyway. Just had a second scan and everything is much the same. I'm disappointed but I'm going to continue anyway.
I've heard a lot of funny stuff about steroids, I think it gave me nightmares when I had it, and I was on a very low dose, so it wouldn't surprise me if it was the cause of your anxiety etc


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## bannyb

Ah yes, of course UG, I knew you were going to have to do a frozen cycle but very stupidly hadn't thought about the thawing process when I typed my last post out, sorry, hope I hadn't come across as being insensitive as I had meant it to be encouraging (doh!) and I can totally understand where you are coming from. Sending so many      your way. 

Welcome Polarbear, and lots of luck with your cycle   

Hi Indigo, and thanks, yes, huge sigh of relief! I have another scan on Friday so will be an even bigger one if everything is OK then. I am starting to believe that it is normal to have spotting, cramps and disappearing symptoms too as like you have read some of the other threads and finding it reassuring. I spoke to a nurse at the clinic on Friday and she told me that I could have been spotting from the cyclogest and that I could think about taking them rectally instead (nice!). I hope everything is going well for you, is it sinking in yet? I hope you are OK, I think I would also be wondering if it was the steroids making me anxious etc.. as I also thought that was a side effect of corticosteroids, so have just looked it up on the NHS Choices website and it gives quite a bit of info on the side effects. How long do you have to take them for? Maybe you should speak to your GP about it just to get a second opinion?   

Hi Polly, is your next scan at 12 weeks or do you have one booked in before then? Totally understand the need to wait to see before allowing yourself to think about having two. Lots of    and    that it goes well. 

Congratulations Indiajo! That's great news! Best wishes for your scan on the 15th.

Hi to everyone else!


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## empedia

Hi there, I'm about to turn 41, starting long cycle IVF tomorrow (panicking about the first injection at the moment and the fact that I seem to be facing lots of Menopur injections in the 2nd phase including all around my birthday ...). It's inspiring to read all your stories and gives me hope that I haven't missed the boat. 

Liz


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## bannyb

Welcome Empedia! I hope your injection goes well today, try not to panic, I know it's daunting to begin with but you'll be fine. I seem to remember with my menopur round of ivf that I had lots of vials of medicine to mix but they all went into one syringe so I only had the one injection to give alongside buserelin, hope that is the same for you. Lots of luck with everything


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## empedia

Thank you so much for your kind words, BannyB - and for the encouraging info about the Menopur. We are phoning the clinic today to check, just so I know what I'm facing (esp as it's around my birthday, if you know what I mean!!).

I managed the injection fine, so relieved. I woke up way too early (I got told to do them early morning and I'm a) self-employed and get up early b) on the TABLET study and you have to take the pill an hour before breakfast), did some work, went down to the bathroom, did the gubbins with OH hovering, sent him out of the room while I did the injection, had a moment of fear then just went for it and it honestly only hurt a minute amount and got done. SO relieved! I have quite a high pain threshold from being a runner, but am fairly wussy about medical stuff, so if I can do it, anyone can do it. 

Cheers for the words of support - so helpful!

Liz


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## hjanea

Good luck Liz!

My last gestone injection is tomorrow and bizarrely I think I'm going to miss them!!
I have a scan on thursday at 10+1 and if all Ok clinic will then discharge me. I have a dating scan and NT scan on the 21st and see the obstetric consultant on the 24th. It's all starting to feel real now. My belly has grown a bit- well DD says it has and I've gone into my old maternity bras as they are more comfortable. Can't relax and enjoy it yet though(if I ever will- had PE with DD and section at 32 weeks!!)- just want to get thursdays scan out of the way- my mum and DD are coming with me at my nurses suggestion- she said it would be great for DD to see as should have limbs and be moving about- I do hope so.

How is everyone else?
Helen. 9+5.


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## bannyb

Thought I'd let you know that it is game over for me, I am bleeding again, more than spotting, and all symptoms have gone. Totally devastated, numb and in shock that this has happenend yet again. If you don't all mind I am going to bow out of ff now for a while. Wishing you all very best wishes and so much luck on each of your journeys, thanks so much for all your support, will be thinking of you all


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## Indigo2

Banny - I am very sorry to read your post.  Have you had a scan to confirm?  What a terrible start to 2013.  Sending lots of good wishes, and hugs.

UG- I didn't have a baseline scan either this time actually.  I was told that a baseline would show up any cysts, but the downregulation process would get rid of any cysts anyway.  I only had two decent sized follicles this cycle (some small ones developed later, but only yielded immature eggs), so I relate to your situation, but as I think you said to me at the time - it really is about quality.  Also, in an attempt to look for positives - I suppose it is good that you have managed to squeeze a cycle in before your treatment.  The reality is you just don't know what is going to happen.  It really is agony.  I have my fingerscrossed for you.

Hi to everyone else too!

Unfortunately my own news is not good.  I had some distinct AF style cramping, followed by spotting for two days, followed by my other pregnancy symptoms disappearing.  I am meant to be flying to Morocco on 3 Jan, and I have been advised not to go, as it is hard to access medical care out there.  I haven't been to the EPU yet, as it is closed for new year.  To make matters even worse I am under extreme pressure from work to get various projects done, and of course I can't tell them what I am going through.  Absolutely devastated.


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## bannyb

Indigo, so sorry you are going through a worrying time too, big   to you and lots of   and   Spotting that has stopped isn't necessarily a bad sign, and like they told me last week is incredibly common, so hang on in there. Sorry about your work stress and holiday too, hope you can get a refund and get it rebooked at a later date.

I haven't had a scan, I'll have to wait until tomorrow as it's a bank holiday... again it happened on Christmas eve last time so had to wait until 27th. If I was just spotting like last time I wouldn't be worried but this is bleeding red blood, with back cramps, so I guess the spotting last week was a precursor to m/c


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## HavingitAll

O no BannyB and Indigo!

   

I'm so sorry and especially for the timing. I do so hope that you can get scans asap and that all is OK. I'm told that bright red blood may be from another part of the womb, with all the stretching going on, and to not assume the worst but be prepared for it.

Thinking of you both,

     

HavingitAll


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## empedia

BannyB and Indigo very sorry to hear your news. Sending you very best wishes. 

Liz


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## deblovescats

thanks for your kind words polly - good luck with the pregnancy! 
so sorry to hear your news banny and inidigo - what a rotten start to 2013! totally understand you not wanting to post banny - take time to sort out your feelings and we're all here to support you! indigo - i totally feel for you about hol and work - I haven't told anyone at work either! 
lets hope 2013 gets better for everyone!
Good luck for 2013!
Deb


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## seemedlike4eva

May I join you?
Started meds yesterday for a fresh cycle of double donor , my clinic in Czech doesn't down reg' it's supplementation of natural cycle. I have 2 friends who gave birthto gorgeous healthy babies lsst year from this clinic. It will be my 3rd try with them. Apart from a shock nat Bfp in my 20s, sadly lost baby at 36 weeks, I've not had much luck ttc since' and now I'm 44. I'm trying to feel positive but after so mainy failures it's hard,


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## hjanea

Thinking about you bot Banny and Indigo. Banny everything crossed for your scan.


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## bannyb

Just a quick post to say thank you so much for everyone's messages, it was so very kind of you all. I have come back on to let you all know that somehow, very miraculously our baby still has a heart beat! They have no idea at all why I am bleeding (still am a bit) but said that the baby is fine, measuring exactly right and has a good heart beat! I can't put into words how we are both feeling, it has been the most emotionally draining Christmas and New Year ever, I have cried for this baby so much and then cried some more, but now we have been crying tears of joy and we just couldn't be happier. We've still got a long way to go until 12 weeks, and if it carries on like this we'll both be very grey! 

Indigo, I hope that you have been able to get a scan? Thinking of you   

   to everyone else


----------



## Louisej29

Yay.  Fantastic news!!!!!  Miracles do happen!! Your baby is a little fighter!!  Brilliant!!!!

Indigo... Hope you are ok too

Xx


----------



## HavingitAll

O bannyb what wonderful news!!!    

HavingitAll


----------



## bannyb

Thank you both so much xx


----------



## hjanea

Oh Banny- now you've made me cry too!! So so pleased for you.


----------



## empedia

So pleased for you BannyB that's marvellous news. This happened to a friend of mine now I think of it. Thank you for sharing all this too, so helps when you're at the beginning of all this for the first time?

Anyone know if there's a thread for the Dear Partners on this forum btw? I am conscious that mine is looking after me so well, taking his week off to feed me and hold me and leave me ALONE when I want and I have my lovely friends for support and this forum for info ... and he has his bro who's been through it but that's it really ... 

Liz (bloated, acne, tired - third day of DR!!)


----------



## kittykins

Oh Banny what an up and down time you are having at the mo.  Hold on tight hun, this one is certainly a fighter x 

As for us - EC today - 10 eggs (not as many as last time) - hoping the quality is better though.  Now waiting for the dreaded phone call tomorrow - if 5 or more fertilize we are going for blasto on Monday, if we don't get as many as 5 though we will be back for ET on Friday.  Today was extremely painful (felt nothing last time - I really think it does depend which doc does it) - DH is being a star and totally looking after me - he really is the best.

Love to everyone.


----------



## Sushi Lover

*Banny*..... absolutely brilliant news! I was so worried for you with the bleeding, but how great to hear the heart beat is still strong and all the measurements are as they should be. Brought tears to my eyes when I read your post. You have a little fighter in there!!

*Indigo*.... how are you doing? Any news on your little embie? Praying for you. 

*Seemslike4eva*... best of luck with your 3rd try. So sorry to hear about your loss at 35 weeks. That is truly heartwrenching. I'm starting my 3rd proper try in a few weeks so maybe our transfers will be at a similar time? When do you go to the Czech Republic?

*Kittykins*.... 10 is great! Well done. Best of luck for that horrible phone call this morning. My heart is always beating so fast when the phone rings. Makes you feel sick doesn't it?! I hope you get some good news and 2013 is a lucky year for us all. BTW, did you not have a sedation drug for your EC? I always have one and don't remember a thing!

xx


----------



## seemedlike4eva

Kirsty, I'm just waiting to hear which day, it will be between 12 -20th of this month,  it's a bit nerve wracking waiting for the call. I hope your cycle goes well too.
Banny, praying that your pregnancy will continue without any more scares.
Look forward to getting to know folks on here, my clinic doesn't have an active thread at the mo, as t doesn't have a huge number of patients from overseas.


----------



## kittykins

Well 6 have fertilized overnight - now hoping we can keep them going as we are going to blasto on Monday - our clinic like to do that so long as we have 5 - if we had less than 5 then it would have been a 2dt tomorrow so a long weekend ahead waiting now. 

Love to everyone.


----------



## bannyb

Thank you everyone for your lovely messages, you're all very kind    We are just praying that this bleeding will settle and stop, then I'll feel much happier. I spoke to the clinic this morning and they have discharged me but said if still bleeding in a few days then to go back to EPAU for another scan. 

Indigo, I am thinking of you very much and   all is OK with you   

Wow! 6 is a great, well done Kittykins! I shall be   that they all do well over the next few days    

Seemslike4eva, welcome to the thread! So sad to read you lost a baby at 36 weeks, must be incredibly hard for you, and then to have problems conceiving since is a cruel blow. So much luck with this next round    

Liz, I hope you are getting on OK with the injections. Did you clear up with your clinic about the menopur?

UG, I hope everything is going well? Thinking of you    

Hi Fififi, Helen, Louise, Polly, Debs, Kirsty, Havingitall, Idiajo, and Polarbear, really hope you are all OK  and sending you all big   Hope I haven't missed anyone xx


----------



## empedia

*Bannyb* Yes, sorry, should have said. We can pop in there any time to get more syringes and needles (DP works 10 mins from the hosp which is handy) and they will show me how to do the Menopur at my first scan on 17th (so I assume I start it then as they're not going to mess around with it then not inject it? not sure ...) anyway, a few other people on here have the one with "pills" in pots and have reassured me that they dissolve.

I've been freaking out about the internal scans and the pessaries today, oh joy - such a wuss and so annoyed for being so. Oh well. I managed to get to the gym today and find some gentle things that made me feel like I have actually moved, so that's all good.

Hope all are well on here ...

Liz


----------



## hjanea

Hi Banny- I had a scan today which was brilliant- it was doing somersaults and waved at DD!!! Now discharged from clinic.


----------



## bannyb

How wonderful Helen! So pleased for you! Your DD must have been over the moon seeing her little sibling giving her a wave!   

Liz, glad you have got it sorted out and yes, I did my 1st menopur injection with the nurse so she knew that I knew what I was doing. With regards to internal scans and pessaries you just get used to it after a while, you have so many it won't bother you after a while (not sure that is good though getting used to things like that!!)


----------



## Indigo2

Thanks for the messages. Unbelievably my little embryo is still in there too. Still to early to see a heartbeat for me, but was spot on for size. Bleeding was coming from elsewhere in the womb, but they have upped my progesterone anyway. 

Hugs to you Banny. Just can't believe how lucky we have both been. Did they put you on bed rest or anything? Thanks to everyone else for all the support.


----------



## bannyb

That is such good news!! I am so so pleased for you Indigo, what a relief    I agree, we have both been so lucky. What dose of progesterone are you taking now? I'm really interested as I'm on 3 x 400mg and have had discussions about reducing to two when the bleeding stops. What have they advised you to do? No, I haven't been put on bed rest but I have noticed that when I am lying down the bleeding is much better, so my MIL is coming to stay next week so that I can have a week of rest to see if it does help.   that both our little ones stay with us


----------



## Sushi Lover

*Seemslike4eva*... You'll be a bit ahead of me then. I should be starting my stim drugs on about the 21st of Jan. Let us know when you received the all important call!

*Kittykins*.... Amazing news! Pleased for you. Hoping you get to Blasto. Try and keep busy over the weekend and be preoccupied with other things if you can. Easier said than done I know!! Are you having acupuncture to thicken your lining in prep? Progesterone, clexane, steroids? I know some clinics prescribe everything just in case, but my new one doesn't do that if there is not a proven miscarriage or immune issue.

*Banny*.... hang in their lady! All sounds fine and a bit of light bleeding is normal for you perhaps? Lots of rest.

*Empedia*... what type of thing are you doing at the gym? I never know whether to exercise or not during a cycle. Everyone says yoga... but I find it a bit dull and boring. I just keep looking at the clock the whole time. Is your AFC check on the 17th? I should be starting my stim drugs on the 21st so we'll be at a similar stage throughout.

*hjanea*.... wonderful news about your scan! It must be magical to see.

*Indigo*.... woo hoo... that's great to hear! Are you getting lots of rest to slow the bleeding down? I always wonder if the bleeding improves lying down or whether good old gravity has a part to play when standing up?! Anyway, rest has got to help whichever way you look at it.

xxx


----------



## empedia

*Kirsty* I tried yoga on Wednesday (I have been going for a few months; it's SO boring but it does keep me calmer) but my bloated tummy got in the way and I was uncomfortable, plus it's a bit of a no no when we're stimming as the twisting isn't good, apparently. I started a thread on the Over 40s section about exercise which has us all discussing why there's NO INFO ON THIS argh.

I did sitting up eccy bike (not recumbent) and walking at 3.5kph on the treadmill yesterday, and some arm weights stuff, it felt good and I was able to read on both too, which kept me chilled out. Good luck and let me know if you find other comfortable exercise!

Liz


----------



## Sushi Lover

Hi Liz,

How about swimming or aqua aerobics?  I suppose you can't do that after EC though because of the possibility of infection.  It's such a minefield.  Is that ok during stimuation to you think?  Although the last thing I feel like doing in January is putting on a swimming costume with my white body and bloated stomach!

Perhaps good old-fashioned walking it the best idea.

In my previous cycles I've gone to my usual body attack classes and taken the 'easy option' the instructor gives you.  But maybe this is still too much exercise.  The nurse always says avoid the gym and just do gentle walking, but I feel so sluggish doing nothing.

With yoga, a friend once said to me she came out of a class and described it as feeling like "she was dead for two hours"!  Bit extreme, but made me laugh   

xx


----------



## empedia

[Kirsty] I loathe swimming unfortunately although I will have to take to it I suppose, esp if get pg. I am sticking to gentle stuff in the gym and walking outside and seeing how it goes. Have also got chillout CDs and colouring in and cross-stitch as other forms of relaxation.

I used to go to body balance but the panpipes in the relaxation bit used to drive me MAD!

Liz


----------



## Polarbear72

Morning all. So I go to see the nurse next week and I start my drugs soon with an ET around the 13th Feb all going to plan. All of a sudden I feel a bit scared and apprehensive. I am now off the caffiene and the wine but will four weeks of clean living be enough? Mmm. Part of me thinks well, if it's going to be successful it will and as it's my first cycle probably not so just get on with it. One question though if anyone can help - I've been told I need to have some more blood tests (HIV etc) and the nurse suggested asking my GP to get them done on the NHS. I had a number of blood tests on the NHS before and as my partner has a son from a previous we're entitled to no funding for IVF - however, partner called the surgery yesterday and they told him they wouldn't pay as we are being treated privately. I am pretty annoyed at this and wondered if anyone had any luck on that front before. Many thanks. Good luck to everyone in 2013 and congrats to Indigo and Bannyb x


----------



## Sushi Lover

*Liz*.... yeah, I know what you mean about swimming. It's nice to have a dip in a cool swimming pool if you're on holiday in Barbados for example! But putting on your black Speedo cossie to swim in the manky swimming baths at the local sports centre is not quite as glam or enticing!

*Polarbear72*.... Ooh, good luck with your nurse's chat. I have mine next Tuesday. This will be my third proper try of IVF though. If it's going to work it will. You can be as healthy as possible with cutting out the alcohol and caffeine as most of us have done along the way, but I still think if the egg is of good quality and fertilizes and implants correctly then it doesn't really matter if you've giving up the wine and coffee 1 month or 6 months before. I mean, loads of women get pregnant naturally putting these additives into their bodies! I suppose as we all have fertility issues in some way, shape or form it makes sense to stop doing anything to make this worse. But you can't change the past so just go with it. If you are unsuccessful first time (and I believe stats shows most people aren't lucky enough to conceive with first try), then you'll already be a way along the healthy regime road and can continue the good work!

As for the blood tests.... we went through the same thing as my partner has children already and couldn't get NHS funding (joke isn't it?!) The GP wouldn't do them for free, but our clinic recommended going to local STD clinic. Ugh, I know.. not the nicest of places to visit on an evening after work! I wasn't sure whether to tell them about the IVF as wondered if they'd refuse as well. So we said we were in a new relationship and wanted to make sure we had a good bill of sexual health before embarking in a relationship! haha. It sounds crap, but saved us a lot of money. We had to pay £20 for the printed results in a letter format to give to the clinic. That was HIV, Hep B and C, plus some other STDs like chlamydia. DP wasn't best pleased about some of his investigations! I won't go into detail, but they put cotton buds EVERYWHERE to test for nasty viruses!! Not just blood tests. Felt a little grubby being there, but considering how much everything costs, saving us a few pounds with the tests was well worth it.

x


----------



## Sushi Lover

By the way... *Liz*.... colouring in?! Is that a good form of relaxation then? I've never heard of anyone over the age of 8 doing it! Am I missing out?!


----------



## empedia

*Kirstylovessushi* re colouring in - you can get grown up colouring books of Edwardian ladies or lovely scenes of cottages and flowers etc and nice pencils that aren't all chewed and broken - my local poundstretcher often has nice ones or you can get them off Amazon pretty cheaply. It's not just for small children and is VERY relaxing ...


----------



## Jammy J

Hi ladies. May I join you all. I'm about to embark on my 3rd o e cycle at Serum in Greece. Am keeping my fingers crossed it will be 3rd time lucky!
Good luck to you all xx


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## seemedlike4eva

Jah, I'm hoping for 3rd time lucky too.
Polarbear, I'd do as Kirsty ssys and go for a 'check up' at your local clinic, or one in the next town, if you don't want to be seen!
Indigo, glad it was good news for you, too.
Had to start antibiotics today, as my gallbladder is inflamed. Hope it doesn't mean game abandoned - I'm just gettong impatient as I'm getting ancient. Managed to get some clexane out of my GP while I was there, I havevAPS, so I'M need to take it periodically depending on what my blood is doing, so I've been building up a crafty stash. X


----------



## Pollypoppet

Evening ladies, gosh been away for a couple if days and so much has been happening with you guys!

Bannyb and indigo, gosh you two have both been through it, it must have been difficult, especially over the holidays when everything closes. I'm so pleased you have both had one reassuring news. I don't think gets much easier whatever sage you're at, but keeping everything crossed both your little ones hang on in there.

Hjanea, great news about your scan, and lovely for your little girl too. 

Kiitykins, well done, what a great stash, hoping they all keep doing what they should over the weekend.

Welcome to the new ladies, seemslike4eva,jah123,empedia,polarbear - hope I've not missed anyone, good luck with your cycles.

AFM - 9 weeks now! Scan at local EPU Monday to check cyst. Thankfully only a little spotting this week so hoping all ok.


----------



## deblovescats

glad everything's ok banny and inidigo - phew what a relief!
welcome to jah - i'm like you - going for a 3rd attempt at DE at serum - initial consult booked 19th jan, then tx feb/mar
my previous 2 attempts at DE IVF were both BFNs at a clinic in Uk - feel really let down as got no proper feedback, just told one of those things - serum have queried could be quality of eggs as egg share and out of 8 eggs, only two developed for ET! 
i'm hoping that 2013 is our year!
Deb


----------



## urbangirl

Hi ladies, I've been offline for a few days as my wifi wasn't working and I came on the site and saw all this scarey stuff going on, thank goodness both of you, BannyB & Indigo are okay.  Must have been horrible.  Indigo, did you end up going to Morocco in the end?  Seems a shame to miss a trip which might help you relax.  I hope you can stave off the stress at work, you have to put yourself first.  maybe you won't do the projects as well as you would have under different circumstances but you have other more important stuff going on.  One thing I noticed from my previous bosses was that they never put themselves under the same pressure we were put under.  Some of us had to work nights and it was absolutely vital to cover the nights, but one time the two night staff were ill, did the boss come in to cover their shift?  No she did not!  Put yourself first!

Kittykins, 6 is a great number, so you may have some to freeze too!.     to them for good development.

Kirstylovessushi, there are so many different types of yoga, the trick is finding the one that suits you. Bikram, Ashtanga, Iyengar (for perfectionists) vinyasa flow(never stop moving) etc etc. If you get bored a faster- moving more challenging one might suit you better.

Re blood tests- I had to tell the STD clinic it was for IVF because otherwise they wouldn’t do some of the tests I had to have (one of the hepatitis ones I think), to save money I guess.  You have to have a legitimate reason and IVF is one of them. I hate going there because they're so under-resourced and I feel I'm really taking up their time, but we just don't have any spare money for these extras.  I'm surprised they charged £20 for the letter, it's not as if they have to write anything, they just print out the standard thing and sign it!

Seemslike4- does APS stand for antiphospholipid syndrome?  Surely you are entitled to clexane throughout the post transfer period anyway, then?

Pollyp, good to hear you are okay, hope the scan goes well.

AFM got 3 eggs, as a few more follicles did pop up in the end, had a couple of empty ones.  So those three are destined for the freezer, but only if they reach blastocyst stage. What is really bugging me though is that normally I would have transfer of any that seemed like they might not get to blast, I don't like the idea that they will just die in a petri dish, I would like to give them a chance at least.  It feels like such a wasted opportunity, but I have to just go with it and wait a few months now when I can start again.


----------



## kittykins

Oh girls thank you so much for all your good wishes. 

What a relief we still have 6 embies doing well so booked in for ET on Monday at 11:15am.

On a moaner note I have mild OHSS and boy is it uncomfortable - just feel like I need a no 2 constantly (sorry TMI), other than that Im sure I will go pop!

So hoping that the quality of my embies is better than last time (specially with all the upped meds I had) - last time we had more but the quality was not good hence the BFN and none to freeze. 

Thinking of you all and thanks again for all your good wishes. 

x x x


----------



## bannyb

UG, well done with getting 3!! Really hope they make it to blast stage, have got everything crossed    Totally get what you mean about not wanting to waste any and that normally you'd have used them, must be frustrating for you, but I keep thinking back to the research over FET for our age group and that the stats are better than with fresh cycles     

Kittykins, firstly, great news that all 6 are doing well! Yes, quality not quantity... though I think 6 is a huge number for our age group so well done and lots of luck for ET on Monday     Sorry to hear you have OHSS and hope you feel better soon   

Welcome JAH wishing you every success with this round    

Hi everyone else, hope you are all having a good weekend. AFM I'm on bed rest seeing if it stops the bleeding. trying to keep my chin up and not worry excessively..which you all know I'm very good at!


----------



## seemedlike4eva

Urban girl, yes it is antiphospholipid syndrome, and theoretically I should be entitltled to it, but .......well, like lots of ladies I don't have the most co-operative of GPs, so I do it this way until I can turn up pg. For you, and kittykins, I have fingers crossef for your embies.
Pollypoppet, hope your scan is ok on Monday.
Still waiting for call from clinic telling me when to book flights,  don't usually have a problem with my lining, just implantation failures, so this time I'll have extra pred post transfer.


----------



## Indigo2

Greetings from sunny Morocco! Internet is patchy here, so please forgive the lack the of personals. Except to say good luck to everyone who has joined the thread - I can't wait to hear all about your cycles! Is serum cheaper than the UK, or do people go there because you get a lot of info about the egg donor? Re the whole exercise thing: I have given up exercise completely, at least until the 12 week scan (if I make it that far), and it is really hard. I'm finding messages very mixed re exercise. 

SK - congratulations on your 3 eggs. I'm keeping my fingerscrossed!  

Kittykins - congratulations on your bumper crop too!

Banny - I was on two 400mg cyclogest (sorry for tmi: taken anally), which I think is standard for my clinic. EPU said my clinic may wish to increase the cyclogest due to the spotting. Clinic said that there is no evidence that increasing progesterone reduces the risk of m/c, but it won't do any harm, so said to take an extra cyclogest in the afternoon for two weeks 'if I want' - so I am.


----------



## bannyb

Hooray! So pleased you made it to Morocco! It'll do you the world of good being somewhere relaxing and sunny. Enjoy enjoy enjoy!   (feeling somewhat green now!) Also thanks for the info on the cyclogest, it really helps to hear someone else is taking the same dose


----------



## Sushi Lover

Hi girls,

*Empedia*... thanks for the info on the colouring in books. I must admit it does sound appealing and relaxing. When I sit with my friends' girls I love joining in with the Disney Princess colouring books! I'll try and hunt down some books for grown-ups.

*JAH123*...welcome to you and best of luck on your 3rd cycle!! When do you start?

*Seemslike4ever*.....Poor you with your inflammed gall bladder... sounds painful to say the least? Fingers crossed it won't upset your next cycle.

*Pollypoppet*....9 weeks is brilliant! Is the time dragging or flying past? Any morning sickness?

*deblovescats*... hope you are ok and looking forward to getting out to Greece!

*Urbangirl*....thanks for the tip about yoga. I'm a bit of novice so not sure what they all mean. I should google it and find a more energetic one then. The vinyasa flow sounds good. I know what you mean about the STD clinics being under-resourced and feel bad about taking up so much of their time, but everything is so expensive isn't it? So they are fine with IVF being a reason to get checked out then? When I asked about the results they just said they phone up and tell you then and there whether any are positive. So to ask for it in writing meant a letter needed to be drawn up and typed out. Not sure why they just couldn't print the results off the screen?! How are your embies doing today? Was it your decision to leave them to reach Blastocyst stage or did the clinic advise that?

*Kittykins*..... I hope your ET went well today. Thinking of you. How many did they transfer? Was it a 3DT?

*Indigo*.....wow, lucky you in Morocco. Very jealous. Enjoy and relax!

*Bannyb*...has your MIL arrived to look after you? Bleeding stopped now? I bet you are frightened to move! I know I would be. Take care.

KLS xx


----------



## empedia

*KIrsty* I just did a tiny search on Amazon (because I need NO MORE of the things, I have enough to keep me going for years!) and found this http://www.amazon.co.uk/Paisley-Designs-Coloring-Dover-Colouring/dp/0486456420/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1357575733&sr=1-1 if you look at the "people who bought this also bought these" bit further down you will find loads of really good ones for grown-ups!

/links


----------



## goldbunny

hey i like colouring in too! quite like the ones that are just patterns, though sometimes i like to just draw shapes with a black pen and colour those in! lazy people (like me) can also colour in the stuff on kids websites loads of them have colouring pages you can either colour online or print off and colour by hand. http://www.garfield.com/fungames/ClickNPaint/ClickNPaint.html

/links


----------



## empedia

*Goldbunny* there are more of us than we think! I love these Dover books, really intricate ones. I have a lovely Victorian House one I'm itching to start ...


----------



## goldbunny

(lightbulb)  i need a birthday present for someone next month and something like that would be perfick!


----------



## kittykins

Ah girls thanx for your well wishes - ET was fine. Got a 4bc and a 1 on board.  Last time we had just a grade 1 and one ungraded so hoping all the stronger drugs this time have been worth it!

Banny hope your keeping your feet up. 

Goldbunny - so sorry to read your signature.

Everyone else, been a long day, 2 hours waiting for ET as they 'were running behind' so going to put my feet up and catch up with you all tomorrow. 

x x x


----------



## Pollypoppet

Hi ladies,

Urban girl, great news on your three eggs, do the clinic keep you in the loop as to how they are doing or is it a case of waiting till day five?(Wednesday?) . Keeping everything crossed they keep dividing as they should and you get three top quality blasts.

Kirstylovessushi, thanks, all going quite quickly really but I suppose that's because I've been lucky enough not to suffer the dreaded morning sickness or any other unpleasant symptoms so far. I'm sure it would be a different story if I were suffering! I see from your signature you see the nurse tomorrow, hope all goes well.

Seemslike4eva hope you're not suffering too much, get well soon.

Bannyb, how are you today, hope you're managing to relax a wee bit, I know it's difficult xx

Indigo, how are you? Hope you enjoy your trip and manage to totally relax, it will be great for you. We're planning to go away somewhere sunny next month. All the IVF in 2012 and my broken ankle meant we didn't get away much last year so we're really looking forward to it. 

Kiitykins, thinking of you, hope today went smoothly and you're resting up and enjoying being PUPO.

Hi empedia, jah123, debslovescats, hope you're doing ok.

AFM - thanks for your good wishes, scan was fine today, both twins measuring 9+6 and the one that wasn't very well attached 2weeks ago wasn't showing any signs of a problem and the area of bleeding wasn't evident either. We saw both heartbeats, and one of them was even wriggling around for us! Third sac has totally disappeared too which s great news. So next up is downs testing which we have to go to Newcastle for as our local hospital only tests singletons. Good excuse for a trip up there! Im very aware that this is a current cyclers thread so i won't be posting a blow by blow account from now on, but I will definitely be checking back to see how you're all getting on and wish you all the best of luck with your cycles, and lots of babies for the over 40s in 2013!


----------



## Pollypoppet

Kittykins, you posted whilst I was typing, glad today went well. Enjoy resting up and good luck for 2ww.

Gold bunny, I'm also sorry to read your signature, hope you're doing ok under the circumstances and that it will be your time soon  

Hi to anyone I've missed


----------



## bannyb

Kittykins, so pleased ET went well, really hope the 2ww isn't too torturous for you. Rest up for now and lots of luck  

Polly, wonderful news that both are doing so well and both seem to be attached well now, I'm so very happy for you  Good point about it being a current cyclers thread, I hadn't thought of that and guess as I'm 8 weeks this week I should also be thinking along the same lines

Goldbunny, I am also very sad to read your signature  

Liz, Kirsty and Goldbunny... I must investigate... seems I might be missing out on something here! I had never thought of colouring but it could be quite therapeutic  

Seemslike4eva hope the antibiotics are kicking in and you're feeling better

Indigo, really hope you are enjoying the sunshine in Morocco and everything has settled down for you

Hi to everyone else! 

AFM dare I say it but the bleeding has stopped, so praying it stays away, resting lots, but think I might have a UTI now... one thing after the next!! I have taken on board what Polly has said about this being a current cyclers thread so should probably think about not posting so much on here either, though I will miss it as you've all been so totally amazing and supportive through my rocky journey, so a great big thank you to you all. I will be eagerly following all of your journeys still and will continue to post good wishes to you all, and I really am sending you all so much luck and best wishes


----------



## empedia

*bannyb* places like WHSmiths, Poundland etc. often have colouring books, pick one up, give it a try. SO RELAXING!

I for one hope you pop back now and then to let us know how you're doing, it's so good to know it does work! With the UTI, can you drink some cranberry juice watered down (is that allowed when PG, no idea - do check! That sorted out my cystitis years ago, have a little every day and cystitis never came back).

Liz


----------



## urbangirl

Goodness, colouring is a pastime that I've never been exposed to, intrigued now!

KirstyLovesS- yes, Vinyasa is probably a good one for you because there's very little just lying on the floor and breathing, though you do hold positions for a little time. 
I didn't get a choice about the freezing- it's blasts or nothing, and I don't get an update, I asked them today and they said they can't tell me till Day 5 because they don't want to open the incubator.  It's frustrating, hoping when I don't even know if they're developed past day 1. 

BannyB yes I know about that research, that if our insides get a little time to recover from the meds they are more receptive.  I'm hopeful!

SeemsLike4eva- that is so typical of our health system- I asked for cyclogest on prescription and was told the same thing- ask for it when you're pregnant, but how are we sub-fertiles (sorry, sounds horrible!) meant to get pregnant in the first place without all the support!

Kittykins, good luck now for the 2ww.  What is a 4bc?

Pollypoppet, so glad that everything is fine.  Please don't completely disappear, give us some updates now and again. It gives us all hope!  I don't know when I last saw a twin pregnancy on the over-40's thread.


----------



## urbangirl

BannyB, don't you go disappearing as well!  Personally I think everyone should stay and share until at least 12 weeks.  I think a while ago about 2 people complained about pregnant ladies continuing to post, but far, far more were entirely happy with it.  If there's no pregnant over-40's here it'll be a 'barren' thread!  How depressing!


----------



## bannyb

Liz, great idea about the cranberry juice, I'll check about it in pregnancy then buy a whole load!! And as UG says, I too am intrigued so WHSmith here I come! 


Ah, that's good news UG, I'll stay until 12 weeks then!


----------



## hjanea

Hi all!! I too have not posted for a while as i'm now nearly 11 weeks and didn't know how appropriate it was but have kept reading.
UG- that seems like such a long time to wait without knowing whats going on. Hope they get to blast to be frozen for you.


----------



## Sushi Lover

Hi girls,

*Empedia*..... Ooh, thanks for that. Will definitely order some!

*Goldbunny*.... I'm loving the idea of 'click and paint' as well! Thanks for the tip. So, so sorry to read your post on your signature. I hope your DH is looking after you. Don't give up... your time will come.

*Kittykins*....glad your transfer went well. Are you managing to rest? The first few days are really important.

*Pollypoppet*... glad you aren't suffering and it's going quickly. That's great the scan went ok and best of luck with the Downs test. Thanks for your good luck message. Bit nervous, but just routine stuff so should be fine. Please come on the thread from time to time to let us know how you are progressing.

*Bannyb*....hooray! Glad the bleeding has stopped. Hope the cranberry juice helps. You need a drink high in alkaline.. they used to sell something called Aqua Libra which really helped me when I suffered. I have lemon and barley water now which is good too. Please pop into the thread to let us know how you are doing! Don't be a stranger.

*Urbangirl*.... I'll give Vinyasa a try then! Thanks. I suppose they think they get better results this way? Must have done their homework. Every clinic has it's only special way. I can see the thought process behind not wanting to open the incubator... but how frustrating for you not knowing! I'm going to try this new EEVA (Early Embryo Viability Assessment) thing on my next go. It evaluates the embryos using computer software and decides which are the strongest and on which day to transfer them. It also works on the basis of not opening the incubator everyday. Another £800 on top though... sigh.

*Hjanea*.... great to hear you are nearly 11 weeks. It gives us 'overs' something positive to focus on. Keep us in touch!

KLS xx


----------



## empedia

*Kirsty* Glad I could help - they're not too expensive. I did some colouring last night - fab.

All waiting for implants to take etc. - GOOD LUCK!

All who are pg - thank you for sharing with us - does indeed give us hope!

AFM I've been having an awful day today, very bad night, all restless and waking up so often. Feeling glum and distended and it's boring now - inject DR drugs, wait for AF to not arrive again. Plus have got birthday coming up in the middle of stimms - I do like my birthday although I don't like turning 41 in the middle of treatment, but I can't face doing anything to celebrate it and DP made me see the light about having friends round to the house being too much for me probably. Sad! I know I'm a) lucky that I didn't go through hell to get here (well, some hell but more stuff to get over before I could even TTC) and b) I am on early stages, nothing too bad going on, and I'm lucky I've got some work in to keep me busy - but WAH! today really 

Hope everyone else has a better day than me!!


----------



## Sushi Lover

*Empedia*... poor you, it is a stressful and low time all this fertility treatment lark. When do you start stimulation drugs? At least you'll feel as if you are doing something a bit more positive then. When is your birthday? Maybe you just need a good old cry to release a bit of tension? Or make yourself go to the gym and get those endorphins going? That's probably the last thing you feel like doing though! How about a nice massage, facial or pedicure? They always work wonders.

Once the stims start and you're having all your scans and bloods it will feel more real and you'll have more of a focus. No time to be bored once that all gets going! Make the most of this down/rest time and get those colouring books out lovie!

Take care xxx


----------



## empedia

Thank you Kirsty! Birthday is 21 Jan right in the middle of it all. Well, maybe. Am on Day 8 of buseralin at the moment, have DR (baseline?) scan on the 17th then presumably start stimming some time after that. Feels like a long time although I would like to get AF out of the way! 

Luckily I've had a big wodge of work through so can concentrate on that. Did some cleaning so did that instead of the gym - it's never a chore to go there but am trying to keep heavy stuff to a minimum, so mopping and hoovering OR gym not AND. I will have a good old read later which should help, or go through my cross stitch stuff. 

Thank you for your kind words!

Liz


----------



## Sushi Lover

*Empedia/Liz*.... mine is the 14th!

Cleaning is always quite therapeutic I find. Don't do any mopping or hoovering in the 2ww though!

I've just come back from my nurse's chat and found out my NK cells are higher than average. Such a shock. I'm trying to look at the positives and maybe this is the reason I can't conceive?... so hopefully it can now be fixed. Bit low about it though. I'm cross my last consultant didn't test over a year ago!! Could have saved a lot of heartache and money in the last year.

Start my intralipid infusion the week beginning 21st Jan along with the stimulation drugs. Then steroids in the 2WW to help. Fingers crossed.

x


----------



## empedia

*Kirsty* that's that antibody thing, isn't it? I can understand how you feel - I had unexplained infertility but know I had some cycles where something happened ... then didn't. Then just by chance I had the TABLET study test and found I have a random thyroid antibody that is implicated in early m/cs and loss. Huh. It's not something that is even routinely tested for yet - that's why they're doing the study - but it really knocked me for six even though I would have thought I'd want to know the possible cause. Good luck with your process and happy birthday for the 14th!


----------



## Sushi Lover

Yes, the natural killer cells.  Sounds so dramatic!  I can just picture my body attacking my poor embryos!!  How rubbish is that?!

Is there something that can be done to fix your thyroid antibody problem?  Or are they still running the study to find the answer?


----------



## empedia

Goodness me. But they can do something for it, I presume - the steroids etc.?

With the thyroid thing, I got onto the study with a month to spare ( you have to be 40 or under!) but it's a clinical trial so I have either the pill that will help or a placebo! So scary and upsetting! But understandable. I went on the immune issues bit of this forum to find out if other people are in the same boat but there are even more abbreviations over there and I got a bit lost!


----------



## urbangirl

Hjanea- 11 weeks! It’s funny how after the initial positive the weeks just seem to fly by.  Are you making loads of plans?

KirstylovesS- is the EEVA that system where the incubator is closed and there is a video camera inside that tracks the embryo and sees which ones are developing at the correct rate etc, then they choose the best ones based on all the calculations?  I wanted to have that done but the thing is, the clinics I found that did that didn’t do other stuff that I need. It’s always the way, every clinic is excellent at a few things but so-so at others and it really frustrates me why they can’t all get together and come up with a best-practise- for-everything plan!!!  I could give them one myself!  I think it's really worth the £800 if you are only having, say, 2 put back so you have to choose.
Have you been on the immunes thread, yet?  It really is a complicated, head-ache inducing subject.    Read Agate's A-Z, it's as long as a book, but is written in a really clear way.  Don’t beat yourself up about not doing the test sooner, if it’s not one thing it’s another.  I am 150% sure I’d be pregnant now if I’d known what I know now.

Empedia, the long protocol (is that it?) is a real drag.  I think I did it for my first IVF and I hated starting everything the month before.  This TABLET thing sounds fascinating, though in the case of a near 40 year old having IVF- I blinking hope they made sure they slipped you the proper meds!  

BannyB- glad you're staying!!
AFM, just waiting to get the news about my embies....

HI to everyone else


----------



## empedia

*urbangirl* thanks for the confirmation that it's so long - and I got in a bit quicker than normal because I was on Day 6 when I had the consent appt and so she believed me when I said I knew my Day 1 and let me start that month!

Re the TABLET study, they can't, it's a double-blind test. They don't know if I have the real thing and nor do I! It's maddening, as it puts the chance of m/c up from 1/5 to 2/5 which is really horrible to know. I went on that thread too about immunology, hoping I could get hold of other people on the study, but just got told to look at the FAQ and about some things I should do which I didn't really understand. They're not unfriendly on there, it's just they have other more complex issues on the thyroid thread. Hm.

Hope all are having a good evening and have a good night.

Liz


----------



## seemedlike4eva

Hi ladies,
Kittykins,     for these next few days.
Urban girl, any news yet?
Colouring books for grown ups? I'm intrigued, and yes I'm a secret addict to kiddy colouring   
Kirsty, I  had the NK test in October, just to tick another box, having been on low dose steroids for years, I was really surprised to find my levels elevated, I'm to increase my dose after ET.
Thanks for all the good wishes, antibiotics have helped a lot, clinic says me being on them won't be a problem, and this month will be used to perfect synch me with the donors and hopefully ET next month, just got to keep taking the tablets, and wait for further instruction. They are starting to kick in now, I'm a weepy, temperental timebomb at the moment, poor DH.
Have a good day everyone xx


----------



## Sushi Lover

Morning ladies,

*Empedia/Liz*... yes, they give you higher dosage of steroids and something called intralipid infusion (2 hours with an IV in your arm 3 times during the process - ugh) which are meant to help. The long protocol is a drag.. I did it once, but have reverted back to the short protocol as had a better response with it. Everyone is different though. They say longer can mean better quality eggs, but in fewer quantities.. so fingers crossed.

*Urbangirl*....that's the one. Sounds good doesn't it? My consultant said it's really new and he sees this being the way forward for all IVF procedures in the future. Yes, I agree, why can't they all offer everything that suits all?! I will definitely find the extra £800 for this (plus £400 for the intralipids)... sigh, more money. Going to ask my Mum and Dad to help out on this one I think. Mum offered and I said "thanks, but no need", but with the extra things this time around I may accept a little financial help. I haven't been on the immunes thread... it sounds pretty intense though! Any news about your embies yet?

*Seemslike4ever*....Any ideas which dose of steroids they will put you on this time around? Glad you are feeling better. Sorry you are weepy, it's like having PMT the whole, flipping time isn't it?! Horrid. Take care.

KLS x


----------



## kittykins

Urban    for your news

I'm really fed up today - when we had the ET i was quite pleased as we had 2 5d blasts a grade 1 (our clinic is back to front and 1 is the lower end of the scale and 5 is the top) and a 4bc, as I say I was quite pleased yesterday as our last try was a 1 (ungradeable) and a 'not quite there' ET.

Still stupidly I have googled for England and have read that a few clinics won't even transfer a 4bc because it is unlikely to be a viable pregnancy - I'm just wondering if there are any feel good stories out there where this has been proved wrong?  

DH is mad with me for googling and now I just feel there is no point and very down.

Banny - has the bleeding still stopped hun   

God, I wished I had stayed away from googling yesterday


----------



## Ipomée

Hello ladies, may I join your thread? 
I'm currently cycling BUT about to cancel due to no response. I don't think I'll find another clinic that will accept me due to high FSH and low AMH in France. I'm new to IVF and haven't gotten very far, because I'm a poor responder. I haven't even made it to the transfer part. I'm currently doing a second cycle at a second clinic and from what I understand a long protocol.

Can someone offer me any encouraging advice about a no response cycle on day 4 of stimms? The gyneco who did the ultrasound said "no follicules," but said that that gonal hasn't started working. When I called the gyneco who is following me and gining the "go on" or "cancel" decisions, he said I have "no more follicules."  I don't understand... I had an afc of seven a few months ago and there were follicules last month... I started DR "decapeptyl" last month the 23 of dec and started gonal 300 stimms Jan 4.

Q: If I had a normal cycle, would my few follicules have developped normally like they did last month? The gyneco talks to me like I'm hitting menopause already. I thought I understood the whole process, but I now feel like I don't understand anything. 

I'm wondering if I should give up IVF and just try naturally. I've always had very regular cycles and every month, I feel a pinch when I ovulate. My FSH went from 14.7 last April to 16 in November. My other hormones are okay apparently.  I have been doing estrogen priming for two months (Provamès).

I haven't been trying to concieve for very long, because I had some complicated health problems and if I had become pregnant before my surgery on top of the age, etc. factors, I would certainly have had a miscarriage. It's been about a year. We've been trying between between treatments.
I did become pregnant naturally at 39 when I wasn't trying, but it ended in a miscarriage. I tried to get my health in order for a year and DH and I went to a fertility clinic because an endocrinologist advised us to inquire about articicial insemination due to a sperm issue. They said IVF or nothing.

So as I've started down this road, I just keep running into disappointment. I've been doing acupuncture and homeopathic treatments, but maybe they're not working. I just keep getting told "it isn't going to work" and many other negative things and I don't know how I'm supposed to stay positive. Some gynecos say it's worth trying, but they aren't the ones that decide on treatment and others say "quit dreaming" ...egg donation. 


Can anyone share some hope   or advice?
Ipomée


----------



## Sushi Lover

*Kittykins*... the googling addiction is a nightmare isn't it?!! We all do it and then kick ourselves afterwards. Remember every woman and cycle is different so just because you read a 4bc has been unsuccessful elsewhere, it doesn't mean to say it will be the same for you. Bit confused though... if a 5 is the top end and you got a 4bc that's good isn't it?! I cannot believe other clinics would say it's unlikely to be a viable pregnancy... what rubbish! Stay strong and stay away from Google!

*Ipomee*... sorry I don't now how to insert an accent over the first 'e' ! Welcome to the thread. Poor you, sounds like you are in a right muddle. For a start 42 isn't old and very unlikely that you'll be hitting menopause this early. What was your AFC on day 2? Did they see follicles then? From experience, day 4, is a little too early to see a response and I think you should keep going until day 6 or 7 for another scan. Will the consultant up the dose of drugs? If you had follicles last month I can't believe they've just disappeared this month? Can I ask what is the problem with your DH's sperm? Are you taking supplements? DHEA is meant to help egg quality and quantity. Don't give up hope. My clinic just says the FSH and AMH levels are for them to decide on the stim dosage and not to worry about the number. You may need more than 300 of gonal? Ask your consultant. It really is early days though. Also, you may respond better on a short protocol... I did. It's usually recommended for the 'overs'!! Stay strong and keep us in touch.

KLS xx


----------



## bannyb

Kittykins, so sorry you are feeling down. I don't really understand all the grading but what I do know is that I am a very poor responder and don't get very good grade embryos either and mine would never make it to blast stage but I have still managed it with the one little lonesome embryo that I produced, so have faith and believe in your little blasts. I think it is great that they have made it that far so they are strong little things, it doesn't matter if they aren't top grade they are still developing so don't give up on them, keep positive, they can and will still take. I also want to say it, but I know there's no point in saying step away from google as it's virtually impossible and we all sit here continually doing it even when we know it doesn't help us! But try to fill your time with some other things too.   


Ipomee, welcome! I also think day 4 is too early to see anything, I am surprised they scanned you so early. I have only ever been scanned on day 8 as the first one. I agree with Kirsty, maybe you should ask about increasing the dose?? I don't take too much notice of the AFC now because each time I have done ivf I have had a reasonable AFC but then the same numbers don't seem to grow during stims, I find it very confusing and disheartening too. I am not sure on a normal cycle if you would see the one that is going to release at this stage but I really have no idea, maybe someone else knows. Try to keep positive


----------



## kittykins

Damn - just lost my post!

Thank you Kirsty and Banny for replying - I hate Google (well I don't as I wouldnt have met such nice people)  

Kirsty I was pleased with the 4 its the C I don't like.  What I read was that it is what makes up the placenta and that C is not good - cried over this and convinced myself that even I did get a BFP I would MC again soon after whenever the placenta is supposed to take over. 

Oh well back to work tomorrow after 3 weeks off and got Mum coming round this afternoon - even found some old cross stitch which I have been meaning to do for ages. 

Ipomee - welcome to the mad house hun, day 4 is very early for a scan.  Our clinic don't scan until day 7 and last time they just upped my meds and I got 15 eggs.  Fingers crossed for you that things will start to 'take off' soon for you.

Once again, Banny and Kirsty - a big thank you and Im sure DH will be pleased that Im staying off Google today. 

Love to everyone. 

x x x


----------



## kittykins

Kirsty, meant to say a friend of mine had treatment for this NK thing (sorry don't really understand it) but with the treatment for and her first IVF with the treatment for it she now has one year old twins      for you.


----------



## hjanea

Kittykins- I had 2 frozen embryos. Both were 3 cells after defrost- 1 went to 6 cells and was top grade (presumably the one that stuck??) the other went to 4 cells overnight and was moderate grade. When I went for my first scan- both had tried to implant but one had failed -presumably the lower grade but who knows - I think that its heartening that they both 'tried'. Hope yours do too.

UG- It still doesn't really feel real TBH. It did on thursday after my scan but I'm still full of worry about it all- especially as my mum and DD are getting very excited. I'm finding it hard to let myself get excited or plan too much just in case it all goes wrong. I'm hoping I'll feel better after my 12 week scan on the 21st. I have however been and bought some yoga pants from mothercare!!


----------



## Sushi Lover

*Kittykins*... thanks for the positive info regarding your friend and the NK cells treatment. Gives me hope! Goodness, I've never heard of the thing with the letters dictating how the placenta forms! You really have been googling for England hun! Get back to that cross-stitch  Banny and hjanea know what they are talking about with the lesser grade embryos and how they try to implant and in some cases succeed. I hope this gives you some positives to focus on.

xxx


----------



## kittykins

Our clinic never told us how many cells or anything just that its a grade 4. 

Kirsty the middle letter indicates the quality of the cells which become the baby and the last letter indicates the quality of the cells which become the placenta. 

xxx


----------



## bannyb

UG meant to say hoping you've had good news on your blasts


----------



## urbangirl

Hi all, thanks for your good wishes over my freezing, I got three blasts in the end so I’m more than happy with that. Or perhaps relieved is more like it!  I asked them what quality they were and they said 1 full blast and 2 not-quite-blast, which didn’t really answer my question   but I haven’t got the energy to hassle them over it.  I guess I’ll find out at the thaw.

Empedia, that’s frustrating no one answered your questions, but it's a very busy thread so maybe they direct newbies to the immunes to the FAQ just so people don’t repeat the same qu’s all the time.  You’ll need to set aside an entire afternoon to work through it, though!

Seemslike4eva, hope the time passes quickly, I forgot- are you doing this one in the Czech Republic also?

KirstyLS, yes, the immunes thing is really too much, it’s like cramming for an A’Level exam.  I don’t envy you the intralipids, that huge fat needle in your hand, it’s horrible!

Kittykins, I can understand the temptation to google- I think I’m going to google this now myself!! But your embies are in there now so don’t worry yourself!  You may be reading more negative things into this that aren’t intended, C might not be the best, but it might well be more than sufficient to carry out the job, though?  I’m definitely going to ask my clinic about the bc next time!

Ipomee, I hope you will feel better from being on the thread.  16 isn’t that bad for FSH.  I’m a strong believer in diet & lifestyle affecting FSH, I’m sure you can bring it down.  Have a look at Inconceivable by Jane somebody-or-other, she brought her FSH down by changing her habits.  Re the lack of growth, it could be anything- the drugs don’t suit you, the dose… A first IVF is just an experimental cycle for most people, your clinic won’t know how you are going to react and what things to tweak until you do it. It doesn’t mean the end!  Kirsty’s tip about the DHEA is probably a good one, have a read up about it in the supplements threads.

Banny, are you serious- your clinic didn’t scan until day 8?!  I think that’s very late, but then again, it’s worked….

Hjanea, I can really understand that, it’s just one step at a time for us over 40’s, sometimes the people around us don't understand the anxiety, though I guess your mum is just over the moon at the thought of another grandchild


----------



## bannyb

UG really pleased for you!    Must be a relief! And yes, I've been with 3 different clinics and they all did the 1st scan on day 8 so I presumed it was the norm! Maybe it's because I'm a poor responder on high doses of stims, with low amh & higher fsh, maybe thy knew thy wouldn't see much before then? It's intrigued me now, when is everyone else first scanned?!


----------



## alexine

Well done Urbangirl!      
xxA


----------



## empedia

Congratulations, *urbangirl* one more step forward and one more dose of reassurance for the rest of us!

AFM - AF is in the building and I'm so relieved. Started very late last night, so far not too bad and not too many cramps, in fact I feel a bit better in myself and my skin has dried up, too. Now all I need to concentrate on is shedding my lining and making it nice and thin or whatever it is we need to do. Also, my injection this morning went OK again, even though I'd made myself a bit nervous.
I've contacted my TABLET study people because when I'm not having a hot flush I'm REALLY COLD even before this cold snap came in. I checked my blood pressure yesterday and it's normal but I haven't managed to get it when I'm shivering with cold. As now on buseralin, (maybe) thyroxin and my BP meds, there are lots of interactions that could be happening. I have read the FAQs on the immunology thread but I have such a small, single issue, it's all a bit bewildering!

Hope everyone has a good day!


----------



## seemedlike4eva

Urban girl, woohoo! So pleased that you have 3 blasts on ice.
I am going back to Czech Republic, like it there, and trust the doc. I've got to increase my prednisolone to 20mg after ET.
Empedia, I've got hashimoto's thyroiditits, never had any detailed thyroid checks done, but saw that a lot of ladies with thyroid probs are on gluten-free diets, so I'm giving it a go. It can't do any harm, and if it helps...great.
Just off for my 1st weigh in at WW, stuck to the plan, but with the drugs not sure how I've done.
See you later!


----------



## Pollypoppet

Urban girl, great news on your blasts, such a relief after all that time in the incubator just not knowing. Are you doing another cycle to try for some more or just waiting till you are ready to have these transferred?

Bannyb, how are you? I've always had my first scan day 6, two different clinics.

Hi everyone else, sorry for short post with few personals, supposed to be working x


----------



## Sushi Lover

*Urbangirl*...congrats on the three blasts.. brilliant news! When's the transfer? Huge, fat needle? Jeez, I never knew that!! Come over in a cold sweat now! 

*Banny*.... I've been scanned first on day 6. Maybe they left you a few days longer because of not responding quite as quickly?

*Empedia*... glad AF has arrived so you can get on with things! What are you your next steps? First scan to check/count follicles?

*Seemslike4ever.*.. good luck for your weigh-in!!! Let us know how much you've lost.

*Polly*...hope you are feeling well. It's annoying when you have to work! haha. I'd much rather be reading and posting on the site!!

*Kittykins*.. are you feeling any brighter today hun? Found other things to feel your time rather than the dreaded googling?!

xx


----------



## empedia

*Kirsty* thanks - it's getting heavy earlier than normal bt I don't really care now it's here. I work from home so comfy and safe from embarrassment! Next stage is baseline scan next Thurs, hopefully it will be nearly over by then. Then stimming maybe but will know more in a week anyway - which is good.

Have found out from a fellow thyroidy lady that being cold is a side effect of thyroxine so fingers crossed I got that not the placebo!

Hope all doing OK today.


----------



## Sushi Lover

*Empedia*...that's unusual you wait a week from your AF to have baseline scan? I usually go in on day 2 or 3 for that (regardless of bleeding) and start stim drugs straight away. Any ideas why they are leaving you for 7 days before your first scan?

Oh that's good about the thyroxine then... sounds like you have been given the real deal!

I'm fine thanks... taking my progesterone tabs to stop cysts from forming for 10 days before I can start the stims.

xx


----------



## empedia

*Kirsty* sorry have misled you on the timescales there a bit - they had already booked me in for the baseline scan (I think that's what this is, the one when they check your lining is thin enough to start the stims) when they did my first appointment. Start DR on 31 Dec, scan booked for 17 Jan. I'm just thinking in my head that I have 7 days to get AF out of the way, although I know they are used to doing it when it's not out of the way. You have to take your stims drugs with you for a lesson on that day too (hopefully after Wand Of Doom, as I like to call it, rather than before when I'm fretting about it).

Presumably this scan doesn't last as long as the one at the hosp during tests when they count your follies and check you have a womb and ovaries and there's nothing untoward? That seemed to last for ages ...

It looks to me like every clinic does everything slightly differently. Only 7 days till I know whether I can do stims. I can cope with that! And I can get busy earning the money towards the next cycle while I wait ...

Liz


----------



## Sushi Lover

Hi *Liz*,

So are they still giving you something to supress your cycle? So you don't potentially ovulate too soon? Anything could happen in 7 days!

In my previous experiences I've had to call the clinic on day 1 and then they book the baseline scan and you start your stim drugs on day 3 to run in tandem with your natural hormones. I suppose if yours are still being down-regulated it doesn't matter if you wait another 7 days.

K x


----------



## Sushi Lover

....just remembered...  I think I continued with the sniffer spray (syranel) for my long protocol cycle...


----------



## empedia

*Kirsty* I am continuing DR throughout including during the stimming so I suppose that covers that. I always ovulate naturally on Day 21 ish anyway (well late, hence some of my problems, I think) although last few months I ovulated early due to stress (I think). Hope that makes sense!


----------



## Sushi Lover

*Liz*...it does, thanks! Sorry, I sound like a right nosey parker/busybody don't I !!


----------



## empedia

*Kirsty* Not at all, I'd rather give people the right info in case they have any ideas or suggestions. I don't really mind what I tell people about in here. It's weird, because I have quite a strong web presence under a completely different name and not associated with this at all, so I feel like a sliver of a person, defined by her biology, here!


----------



## Sushi Lover

Yes, it feels strangely reassuring to be totally open with complete strangers on here doesn't it?!  Just our fertility issues being something in common and a connection.  Ladies from all different backgrounds, ethnicities, nationalities and geographical areas but united in our struggles to realise that dream of having a baby!!  Listen to me!  hahaha.


----------



## Louisej29

Hello ladies, not been on for a bit and lots of new names.... Hello everyone!!!

Banny and Polly.  Glad all is still going well with you both! 

Ug.  3 blasts!! That's great!

Well I'm now gearing up to start all over again on ivf 3 !  After our mmc have had 2 weeks of lots of alcohol and coffee and now back on track with getting my body in gear! Hard going !  Went for post op scan after Erpc and was gutted to hear I now have a cyst on left ovary.  Consultant said was prob caused by ivf drugs but didn't seem to think it was a concern and just hoping it will go on its own before we start drugs (prob march!) 

Try not to dwell on the fact I no longer have a baby in me but I now have a cyst!  Went back to work yesterday after a few weeks off only for someone to say to me I looked pale and 'was I pregnant'.  Burst into tears so not a good start back! Think I'm getting over the mc and then I feel I'm not! Very eager to get going on ivf 3 as desperate to be pregnant again!!

Has anyone got any tips on nutrition?! Anything specific you should/should not eat to help?


----------



## seemedlike4eva

Loiuse  , iwhat a tough month you've had.
Empedia and Kirsty, this is the only place I am open aboit IF stuff, very few of my real life friends know, even ones who've had IVF. I just live a double life, and my public persona is 'happily childless by choice', and a pregnancy will be 'a happy accident'. Just my way of coping.
I lost 1.5lbs, wish it was more, but a loss is good!


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## Pollypoppet

Hi Louise, nice to see you back and although I'm sure you haven't exactly enjoyed the past couple of weeks, I hope you managed to give yourself a mental break and let your hair down a bit.

I didn't follow anything specific to get ready for IVF, just sensible eating, virtually cut out caffeine and alcohol, tried to eat a balanced diet with plenty protein, variety of fruit and veg and whole grains, not too much sugar or excessive fat, but if I did I'd rather it were small amounts of good old fashioned versions like butter or real sugar rather than artificial sweetners or spreads. It just seemed more natural to me. I've heard some people talking about a zita west plan, maybe someone else has info on that?
Are you taking any extra supplements this time? When I went for my initial consultation at CRGH we were unexplained and the consultant put me on DHEA straight away for egg quality just because of my age. I only ask cos it takes about 3 months to have an effect so worth starting sooner rather than later, and probably true of any supplements you were planning on taking.


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## Pollypoppet

Seemslike4eva goodness, it must be like working for MI5 keeping it secret! 
Well done 1.5lb loss over Christmas is fantastic! X


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## Louisej29

Hi Polly
Am on all the usual supplements.  But what's  dhea?


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## Pollypoppet

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=200859.0

There's some info about DHEA there, it a hormone supplement, not licenced in this country but recently has been in the States for infertility treatment i think. It's been shown to improve egg quality in some older ladies. My consultant was at pains to stress it's unlicensed over here but I thought it seemed worth a go and did indeed show a marked improved in my egg quality from my first round when I wasn't taking it. It depends where your problems lie i suppose. We were given 10% chance with own eggs so i certainly think it helped us.

The above link has a few articles and if you look on the supplements forum there are quite a few discussions. If you do decide to go ahead I never had any problems with biovea.com - delivered within a week and reasonable price. It's hard to find on the high street(boots etc can't order it) and a lot of Internet sites ship from the states which can take around 3 weeks. Good luck


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## Louisej29

Thankyou, will look into that!!!


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## Sushi Lover

Morning girls.

*Louise29*....I don't blame you with going on a coffee and wine binge.. I would have done the same! So sorry to hear about your MMC. Christmas must have been very hard. Don't worry about the cyst, if it doesn't go with the drugs then they'll just aspirate it (pop it!) ... my clinic doesn't seem that bothered if there a few odd cysts either. Must be quite common. That was all you needed with that person asking if you were pregnant. Lesleylupin said to me when I had a bloke a work say similar to me..."at least they think you are young enough to have babies!" Once you get a bit older people stop saying it. It must have been tough though and felt insensitive.. even though the person didn't have a clue. I agree with Pollypoppet on the nutrition side, be careful with things like tuna because of mercury levels (only a few times a week), I've cut out all caffeine and virtually all decaf drinks as they have different chemicals in them to remove the caffeine. Caro is a coffee alternative, but not brilliant. Or RedBush tea is naturally caffeine-free. Green tea even has caffeine in it! I allow myself 1 glass of wine a week as a treat. Oats are good for breakfast if you like porridge and get enough calcium with yogurt and milk as that helps follicle development. I started taking DHEA nearly 3mths ago on the advice of my consultant. Starting my next cycle in a few weeks so I'm praying the egg quality has improved!

*Seemslike4ever*... 1.5lbs is great! Well done. Slowly, but surely is the right way to go about it.

*Pollypoppet*... do you think the difference in your BFP cycle was the DHEA? Or a combination of things?

Hi *Liz*... hope you are well today. Glad it's Friday!

How's *Kittykins* now?

xxx


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## empedia

*Kirsty* good news on the oats - I have found they are full of protein as was fretting about protein a bit and reading labels like mad. I am on a special diet to keep my cholesterol down without drugs, so eat a LOT of oats!

AFM I am having another good day so far. It does indeed seem that one of the things buseralin gives you is a bloomin great dose of maxi-PMT, which subsides when the AF starts. I am feeling close to normal now, a bit swollen in the lower belly still but more energetic and the boobs have gone down again and I didn't cry once yesterday! I am on a new bottle of buseralin which is SO much easier than fiddling around getting the last drops out of the old one and the injection went OK today although I seem to be losing a bit of fat on my thighs as not so much to pinch today (how??)

Hope all have a good day today.


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## whitvi

Hi Ladies! I'm back....and i'm on another TTC naturally 2ww - pah.

Read back over a few pages - wow there's alot to catch up on! (I've had to make notes lol)

Good luck to all you ladies who are PUPO, waiting for ET, and current cyclers!

UrbanGirl - wow 3 blasts that's fab! when do you go for ET?

Kittykins - tell me about it, that Google has alot to answer for. Each month I swear I am going out and buying another 'supplement' to add to my daily concoction of tablets. DH even bought me a pill box (the one with days and compartments throughout the day!) for Christmas. Now how old does that make me feel?! I'm also at the point where I have to hold myself back from daily typing in the question 'why can't I get pregnant?'. It gets you down.

Louise - Hey welcome back, hope the wedding went well. Sounds like you have let your hair down a bit - good for you! It still amazes me what people come out and say - I can't believe that that silly insensitive person at work said what they said to you. Of course they wouldn't have known, but who would even say such a thing in the first place? It's almost like these people have no social or emotional intelligence. I hope you are bearing up. Regarding nutrician, I have resolved to cut out caffeine, reduce artificial sweetners, drink more water (or herbal teas etc), cut out processed foods, and eat more veg, fruit and lean protein (yes I am also on a diet!). I'm also taking the following supplements:- Maca, L arginine, vit D3, essential omegas, folic acid, royal gellee, co-enzyme Q10, plus a multi vit in liquid form. I'm also starting a fitness regime. I'm hoping that all my efforts here will help with egg quality, and prime my body into being in better shape for a pregnancy.

Empedia / Seemslike4eva / Ipomee - I notice you all have varying types of thyroid issues (like myself). Have you had a look at the thyroid forums on here? A good one that I have been part of in the past is http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=283032.860 (actually Empedia I see that you are already on here).
The girls on here are all really knowledgeable, and will give advice if you ask specific questions. I got in touch with them before I fell pg with DD and I am sure it was down to them, by giving me insight, that I went on to seek help which I feel ultimately helped me get my BFP. The main thing I got out of it was that for the optimal environment to get/keep pregnant was to ensure that your TSH levels are below 2. The normal range that Dr's and Labs usually look at is below 5, but further research has shown it should be below 2. I'm not sure if it was just coincidence, but as soon as I started taking thyroxine, I got my first ever bfp naturally while I was downregging for IVF! Sadly I m/c at 6 weeks, but I then went on to get another natural bfp the month after which resulted in DD.
I'm currently being monitored for my TSH levels as on last check it was 2.75, so had risen from previously being around 1.10 (on meds). I'm hoping a recent test shows it has reduced down again. Good Luck girls!

Pollypoppet - I'm also intrigued about DHEA, especially since my recent AMH test came out at 5.56 (considered as low for my age). We are considering going down the ivf route again now, and want to try and prime my body as much as possible before hand in order to get the best quality eggs out. You say that your consultant stressed it is not licensed in the UK at present and that you bought it online via Biovea. Did your consultant recommend the dosage for you to source yourself? And were you monitored whilst taking it? I'm trying to decide whether to just get some myself, before seeing a consultant, as we aren't quite ready to go down that route yet. I'm just thinking that I want to get the ball rolling asap, so I am ready to go full sails ahead when we make the ivf appt. Don't really want to hang about too much with 'let's try this, or let's try that first' if you know what I mean? (can you tell i'm getting desparate! lol) Thx for any info/advice given.

Lastly, someone mentioned something about trying to get hold of cyclogest - is that progesterone? If you can't get hold of a prescription, have you thought about using the cream or gel instead? You can definately get that on the internet. I went to see my natural health clinic back in Nov, and she found that I was estrogen dominant (ie my progesterone would be low as a result), so she recommended I use the cream daily during my 2WW to boost my progesterone levels and help resolve the estrogen dominance. I started using it last cycle (and am using it this one too). Interestingly, my ob/gyn did a progesterone test last cycle which showed that my progesterone level wasn't quite high enough to indicate ovulation that month (hence an annovulatory cycle), so this supported what my natural health clinic had diagnosed. This cycle however seems to have indicated that I did ovulate (by my BBT chart) and I have also had another progesterone test done this week, so we shall see. It looks as though, however, that the progesterone cream may be kicking in? Good luck.

It's all such a fine balance of getting things right I think, especially when you get older, and I'm just hoping that all this tweaking each month will one day soon result in a bfp!

Sorry for such a long post, but I needed to catch up!

Sorry also, for anyone I've missed. 
TFIF
x


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## empedia

*whitvi* thank you so much for the cheering info about the thyroxine. I am not sure what my levels are as I was so shocked when they told me I had this antibody. All my other thyroid levels are fine (for the moment) but I will ask about that at my 3 month re-test, as they will be able to tell me what they were looking for. I don't even know what amount of thyroxine I'd be taking if it is it and not a placebo!!

I did have a chat with the researcher about it - I had asked her whether feeling COLD COLD COLD (when not having a hot flush!!) was to do with an interaction with my BP meds or the IVF meds. She said no interactions, but meanwhile I'd read on a thyroxine info page about feeling cold being a side effect. She said it was unlikely at the low dose I'm on ... but I know I'm susceptible to that particular thing, because I'm on half the dose of my BP pills that they would give a v old person or child, and THAT makes me cold. So I reckon it is that, in which case I've got the thyroxine not the placebo - and reading your notes that makes me quite positive and confident, so thank you!

Liz


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## whitvi

Hi Liz/Empedia (what do you prefer?)

I know that thyroid issues are more likely to make you feel cold, rather than an interaction to other drugs - but you never know?  When you refer to BP do you mean blood pressure?  I'm also on BP meds too, and haven't had this symptom (but then depends what type of meds you are on) My doc has put me on a BP med suitable for pregnant ladies (in case I get pregnant!).

I had always felt cold as a child, suffering particularly with cold hands and feet, but docs always said my thyroid was fine so I never pursued it.  It was only after having a private medical in my 30's that the Dr found I had a nodule on my thyroid, that I started looking in to things.  Alas, I had several other thyroid tests, and always I was told 'you're normal'.  Yet none of the doctors actually told me what my actual levels were (and I never thought to ask).  It was only after coming on here and the lovely thyroid ladies mentioned to me about the TSH level needing to be below 2, that I thought I needed to re-evaluate my previous tests.  So I got copies of all the tests (luckily done privately) and saw that my levels, although within the normal range (according to the lab) they were in fact above the now recommended level of 2.  Only a small percentage of specialists now work to the new lower levels. So straight away I made an appt with a private endocrinologist specialising in fertility (again recommended by the thyroid ladies) and he prescribed me the thyroxine.  I would never have got it, should I have gone down the NHS route.

When you say your other thyroid levels are fine, what are they actually? (do you have copies of your tests)?


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## empedia

*Whitv* I don't mind what people call me, chose empedia randomly as it's nothing to do with my usual name I use for my web presence then signed my own name anyway (which is also nothing to do with my web name so that's fine, am a bit paranoid about being easily found in the rest of the world as opposed to here, shouldn't have such good SEO!)

To clarify - yes, blood pressure. Borderline so of course they medicated me to tick a box that they had brought it down to under borderline. I'm on labetalol / trandate. Luckily never felt cold all the time until I started on that, so think it's deffo a side effect of that med (if i come off it I'm not cold any more, on other ones before this one I wasn't). WHich is good as I have no idea what my thyroid levels are. I have a completely rubbish GP (I am up to my 41st birthday and paying for my treatment because they messed up all my tests then forgot to refer me) so no way I can get them out of them. DP had to go mad and shout in their office to get a printout of his sperm levels to take to the hosp!)

Anyway am on thyroxine I hope so hopefully that will help ... once I've had the 3 month re-test I will know if I'm on it. If this cycle has failed by then and I find I'm not on thyroxine, I will be able to get hold of it for next time.

Liz


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## whitvi

Hi Liz

I've just posted to you on the Thyroid forum too.
Yep I'm on Labetalol too, so I guess it just affects us all differently?  
I know what you mean about the NHS (i assume thats what you mean), but then I've had my fair share of frustrations with the private arena too!
In this game I believe you have to research a bit yourself, in conjunction with the docs, rather than just leave it all up to them.  As much as we caution about the use of google, I believe there's no harm with getting yourself up to speed with a bit of knowledge so you can prod the doctors when needed!  

x


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## empedia

Yes, my GP is an NHS one, they have been hugely lax. It's difficult when they say they are going to do particular tests, then forget to actually do them at the time even when you say "are you doing the 21 day test now" "Yes". Later: oh we forgot to do it, wait another month. And they said the referral would take "a long time" so of course I didn't follow it up immediately as it was impossible to find out what the times were. 

I'm lucky in that DP works for a large university so we have access to the medical databases for free, which is handy for looking up peer reviewed and tested information! The GP does not like it when you say "oh yes, I looked it up on Medline" ... !!


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## Sushi Lover

*Whitvi*...welcome back to you. On the DHEA question, my consultant advised me to take 25mg three times a day.. but in a sublingual format (dissolves under tongue).. apparently the stomach acid destroys a lot of this artificial hormone if taken in a tablet form. Problem is you will struggle to find it on *ANY *UK website! I bought mine from a US site. It was cheaper than Biovea's tablet form, but shipping expensive... £20/£25. Took only a few days to arrive though. I'm not being monitored and will only find out if my egg quality has improved when I go for my next IVF cycle in a few weeks! So watch this space. Worth a try though. Prepared to try anything for that elusive BFP.

KLS x


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## empedia

Hey, girls - having a bad one - have got myself in a panic about making mistakes about my stupid thyroid thing and have got to the point of wanting to just give up again. I don't know if it will help me, it's hard when you don't have a specific thing wrong with you to be honest, does that make me sound whiny? e.g. I can see if your tubes are blocked it is good, or if your sperm aren't great, or you don't ovulate or all that - but we have fine results, all is fine, just doesn't work. So why should this work??

For:
I have a short cycle and a late ovulation, maybe this has meant things can't "take" before the AF sweeps it all away
Maybe my eggs and his sperm don't meet up properly
Maybe I'm on the thryoxin, that was the reason it didn't work before and now it will

Against:
Nothing there for it to be better than in actual physical stated fact (like - tubes are blocked; this bypasses them or sperm are still; this will get them in the egg)
I'm old!
I'm not positive enough and will ruin it all (I can't do positive affirmationy stuff and all that, I just can't)
Feel like I was rushed/ pushed into this - IVF the only thing we can do so do it, not that much time actually to think about it and whether I can cope with it. 

Oh hell, I don't know. Maybe it's just all too much for me and I'm too weak to cope with it. 

Sorry, rant over, will have a solid work afternoon and an early night. Would like a gin, but ...


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## Sushi Lover

*Liz*... poor you, sounds like you are having a down day... we all have them. It's hard when there is noting specific to say why it's not happening. I'm the same and just keep getting told I have old eggs, which is so unhelpful. If there were a more tangible reason (low sperm count, fibroids, blocked tubes) then you have more to work with I agree.

Just one thing I've thought about as I'm reading your post... how many days exactly between ovulation and AF? You could have a short luteal phase that is easily fixable with high dose Vit B complex or progesterone. 14 is perfect... 13 is fine. Between 12 and 10 could be a issue. Under 10 is a problem.

As for the positive mental attitude thing... hmmm, I'm not sure about this one to be honest. I mean it will help with dealing with TTC mentally and the upsets that go with it, but it won't help with actually conceiving. That is physical process and PMA a mental one. So even if you are feeling negative it won't stop you conceiving. It won't help with your state of mind though. But don't beat yourself up about not feeling positive enough. Just go with it. Remember, you can still get pregnant even with a few negative thoughts.

Sorry you feel like you were pushed into this. It's a pain when it's the last option and last chance saloon is looming because of age. You can cope with it though and definitely aren't weak. You were strong enough to talk to us on here and ask for help. Weak people can't do that. You sound like a strong, intelligent lady to me who knows a lot about the world and themselves...and you can do it. Surround yourself with people who make you feel better about yourself and have a weekend doing stuff for you.

KLS xx

p.s. The Langham Hotel near Regent Street do an alcohol-free G&T !!! They use a homemade sofa with botanicals that taste like gin! I'm really excited about it and will try it out next week.


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## empedia

*Kirsty* you are lovely and have made me cry! Yes, terribly short and wrong. Ovulate day 19-21 AF comes day 27 on average! I have told and told and TOLD them but they just say IVF. I have been on huge vit B for years cos it made me feel better in myself, didn't work, although oddly the 2 months before this I have ovulated on day 13 ish (I am v good at spotting it after 2 years - me outflows do their thing in perfect order!) who knows why - stress? But I guess I can cling to that for after this only IVF cycle I am going to do.

To be honest with you ladies I have a history of depression and I am panicking it's going to come back and get me - a lot of my comforters like hard gym sesh, massive amounts of tea and (soon) massive wallowy hot baths, are taken away from me, and that's scaring me a lot as I had it well under control using those to self-calm at bad times ...

Anyway, getting on wtih some quite cool work now which will calm me a bit.

Thank you!!!!!


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## whitvi

Awww Liz, bless you.  KNOW KNOW KNOW how you feel!  What can I say, it's really really frustrating not knowing what the issue is when you've got unexplained infertility - I do know.  Apparently that's the highest percentage of infertility reason out there - so you are not alone  
I almost ended up driving myself nuts over it first time around.  I ended up having to have 3 months off work with stress (very stressful city job) and I just couldn't cope with that and TTC.
In fact I think thats what gave me a boost, as I had some time off to rest and de-stress, and also was able to spend a bit of time researching.  Thats when I found FF!  It kept my sanity.
Not saying you have to have some time off work etc, but definately recommend some sanity saving pleasures.  If you can't gym it, why not go for a massage (they can do it with oils ok for TTC), take a relaxing swim, or even try yoga (for breathing techniques).  What about decaf tea?  I know it's not 100% decaf free, but at least it'll help you get by?  I drink PG tips decaf, and it's not too bad.  Also i've found that Becks Blue is nearest to tasting like alcohol, if you don't mind a lager beverage.  Or drink sparkling water out of a wine glass!  Keep your chin up, you might feel better in the morning.

As KLS says (love the name btw!), sounds like you have a short luteal phase.  Mine is on the short side too (now approx 10-11 days) but that didn't seem to affect me getting pregnant before (although it had increased from about 9 to 11 days).  Best to get that checked out though, and if you don't get the answers you want, research until you find someone who will take this all seriously.  
I was a bit disappointed with my fertility clinic last time as they never seemed to take my thyroid issue seriously, and it was only after pursuing it (as it didn't feel right in my gut) that I got it sorted.  And who knows whether that's what helped me get pregnant?  I probably wont know for sure.
Agnus Castus is supposed to help regulate your cycle too.  I take it from period to ov.


Thanks KLS re the DHEA advice, that's interesting.  Would you mind posting me the US place where you got yours from?  Also, did you take a blood test to get your DHEA levels or something, or is it just suggested as something to try based on your other fertility results and consultant's decision?

Cheers!


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## Sushi Lover

*Liz*....Goodness, I was trying to cheer you up and made you cry instead! I'm rubbish at this! hahaha

So a really short luteal phase of 7 days then... here in lies your problem. Why aren't they trying to fix that FIRST, before recommendign IVF? One other thing to try. Buy some progesterone cream off the internet... put a small amount, 2cms (1/2 a teaspoon?), on the inside of your forearm AFTER ovulation. This helps to lengthen the second stage and allow implantation. Worth a try?

Ok, so will medium intensity gym sessions have the same effect? Switch to redbush tea (Tetley do one).... a lovely long, hot shower, then fluffy warm pj's, slippers/cosy socks, fire on and a hot water bottle! Those things help me when I'm feeling down. Do you cook? I like to bake some fairy cakes as a relaxing aid. I feel all warm and safe in kitchen. Maybe it's a childhood thing from my Mum or Nan. I've heard some people bake bread. The kneading helps and there is enormous satifaction when the dough rises and that smell of freshly baked bread waffs around the house!

Don't forget the alcohol-free G&T if you live in/near London. Might trick your brain into thinking it's real gin!

xx


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## hjanea

Liz- tetley caffeine free is OK too. I'm a lover of hot baths but since ET I've been having a shower (with the plug in) and at the end kneeling down in the water (to give down below a soak) and turning the heat up so that lovely hot water is pounding on my head and shoulders but my belly isn't too hot- I've found this more relaxing than a good long soak.


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## Sushi Lover

*Whitvi*.... Yorkshire tea do a decaf version as well if you like stronger stuff! Or Tetley do Redbush variety that doesn't taste the same, but is naturally caffeine-free.. so no chemicals to remove the caffeine. It's a tea minefield out there I tell you!

I drink Becks Blue as well... if you make a shandy with it then you can't tell the difference I find. Doesn't have that slightly bitter after taste as it does on it's own. Got DP into it as well  Or Schloer fizzy grape juice in a wine glass. They do red, white or rose.

Love my sushi!! Have cut down on the tuna because of mercury levels though  so bloody boring this TTC lark.

I didn't take a blood test as my consultant said it's not worthwhile and a waste of money because all women have low levels of DHEA and the margins are so small between 'average' and 'low' that it's difficult to assess. Apparently everyone over the age of 40 could do with a boost. He recommended it due to my age and previous failed cycles alone.

http://www.lef.org/search/?q=dhea

it's worth ordering 4 or 5 containers to make the shipping costs more worthwhile. They say it takes 3 months to make a difference. 25mg, dissolvable, 3x per day.

xx

/links


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## empedia

*Kirsty* *whitvi* thank you ladies. Ugh - I'm going to have to do myself a star chart for days without crying (1 so far!)

Thanks for all the tea thoughts. I have got earl grey roibush which isn't too bad (we had a vanilla one but it smells of custard. I like custard, but not in a cup!), and some earl grey decaff too, I reckon one of those a day can't hurt.

The alcohol thing is weird, I don't actually normally drink more than one drink a month, but I have been craving amaretto and cherry brandy!!!

I am managing walking and reading at the gym and some arm weights exercises too. I started a thread on here on exercise and it's all very conflicting info but I feel tired and bloated anyway. I went to my usual yoga class but felt v uncomfortable, the teacher did say I could just lie in the corner and breathe - but there was a damned woman from my old work in the class and I couldnt face doing that so just walked out. Might try again in the Friday class although poss not with this AF of all AFs going on at the moment. I really don't like swimming though will try to embrace it if I get pg. But marching on the treadmill does seem OK.

I am having as many baths as I can at the moment! And wasting nice posh bubble bath too - it's worth it. That's why I've got the colouring books out, too, and will take out some cross stitch soon I think.

I am feeling a bit better this afternoon after getting on with some work and getting some very nice feedback from a client. 
You are all fab x


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## empedia

PS the thing about not trying the luteal phase thing - I really don't believe any professionals believe we know our cycle. Like having to phone on the first day of your AF to get your timetable for the DR. I had to persuade her I knew my Day 1 was the Tuesday before because I keep it all on some software. They said I couldn't know when I ovulate without tests but I'm sorry, there are clear markers in terms of mucous (sorry TMI) and then the right pain on the right day in the middle of it. So I kept saying and they kept saying oh no just IVF look at your age your AGE when I am clearly very fit and healthy and have a great FSH, masses of follicles both sides in the scan ... but no. IVF here we go. Oh well!


----------



## whitvi

Thanks KLS, I think I may go ahead and order some.....  Gotta give everything a chance!  
I might try the decaff Yorkshire tea when my (massive box) of PG tips has run out... thx

BTW I LOVE sushi too!  It's probably one of my most favourite foods (but then I pretty mucg like everything lol!

Liz - Hope you manage to destress a bit hon.

Have a lovely weekend all!
x


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## Ipomée

Dear Kirsty loves Sushi, Bannib, Kittykins, Urbangirl, and ladies,

I'm sorry, I didn't see your replies... several pages back  Thank you for your warm welcomes ! I wish all of you successes with your current cycles and hope I will be able to offer advice too. I'm still having a hard time getting acquianted with the site. I'm not yet familiar with everyone and your stories either. I'm sorry, I’m looking forward to getting to know you .  And will take time to read through your posts.

Very bad news…I went in again today after he had upped my dosage to 450 last tuesday and lowered the DR decapeptyl to 1/4... There still wasn't a change. I guess the follies stayed tiny. The blood estradiol was only 13. The Gyneco who did the ultrasound said either the gonal isn't working or I have no more follicules, but it’s probably the gonal, huh Kirsty ☺ . 

I just got off the phone with the Dr who will not do another attempt. I'm so frustrated, because I have the right to 100% coverage for 4 IVF until I turn 43, but now I will have difficulty finding someone who will treat me. I got the DE speech. He told me that I have less than 1% chance of becoming pregnant naturally. 
Blablablaaaaaahhh. I’m going to try elsewhere, but I don’t know where yet.

There are some things I would like to share once I've read through the posts more, because I saw something of which I may share some insight concerning the autoimmune situation, basically just how I helped my thyroid situation from going hypo for many many years despite very high antibodies due to Hashimotos. Today it is still in the range but believed to be hypo (hyperprolactemia), but I’m being treated to bring the TSH down.  It only started going awry, when I had half of on lobe removed after an operation. I type like a turtle, so I will try to prepare some info on word and post it. 

I’m kind of shy to post things though, because  I feel like I’m the one who doesn’t know what’s going on… but maybe since I live in France, there may be things that they do here that they don’t do in England or the States.  For example, Kirsty are you being treated with aspirin for the NK cells issues ? I’ve been taking aspirin concerning autoimmune thyroid antibody issues and miscarriage. I have’t read why it helps  but, that is one thing positive I’ve learned during my negative experience via a very renowned fertility biologist. Kirsty, you also mentioned DHEA... I asked my Dr about it a few months ago and they don’t use it in context with IVF.  I can't get it in France without a precription and I don’t think a Dr would give me a prescription for it.  Do you know if I can order it over internet ? Is there a dosage that is suggested ? 

I've been doing acupuncture and taking homeopathic remedies. I take a fertility supplément, + CoQ10 about 300mg/day. I’m currently in the middle of the countryside to staying away from city stress. I quit drinking coffee ( ☹) and alcohol. I try to get out everyday for an hour walk. 

Urban, I’m going to look for the Inconceivable book. I’ve seen it mentioned on the net or maybe on FF.

Per my cycle experience you were all right that it didn't seem normal to ultrasound so soon.  But I could tell the Dr didn’t believe in my response potential from the beginning. He even said I would need at least three growing follicules to continue to IVF transfer.  

Kirsty, My DH sperm may be okay. Actually they’re never brought it up. The focus is on me as the issue. It was a regular gyneco who said there was a prob. And that was the reason I took an appt with the first fertility clinic.  His count info says : 48 510 (x 1000/ml) ; vitalité 94% ; mobility : 1&4hr – 43 & 27 ; anormal forms : 79% . 2 & 6 hrs after migration 29 360 (x1000/ml) 

He said my AFC was poor, but didn’t give a number. Last April it was 7 and he put 7 on my chart a month ago. In September there were 6  (the dominant one ended up being a cyst.

I’m not sure what kind of protocol my september one was. I started « cetrotide » (GnRH antagonist) in conjonction with Gonal 262,5 on day 8.  I went up to D 21 before cancelling. The most dominent made it to 19 but was a cyst, the others made it to apx 8,9, 8, 9, and 10 by day 21. Does this sound like a short protocol ? I’m realizing, at least I responded somewhat to the first protocol… compared to a big « 0 » to the long one. 

Have any of you tried a mild IVF protocol ? Maybe lower doses of stimms for longer ? 

 to everyone. There should be a smiley with lots of smilies hugging together!


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## goldbunny

like this?


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## Ipomée

Yes Goldbunny!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## urbangirl

Goldbunny, how sweet!!!

Blimey, so much catching up to do!
Thank you BannyB, Empedia, Alexine (how's it going? Your little girl looks so cute in he winterwear!), seemslike4eva, PollyP, KirstylovesS, LouiseJ29, Whitvi for your congrats on my blasts, much appreciated, certainly don't get that from anywhere else   

Empedia, since the Tablet study thought your condition justified you being on the study couldn't your GP refer you to a specialist, meanwhile? You shouldn't have to work all this out by yourself. Glad you're finally getting some feedback from other thyroid ladies, must take a bit of the worry away. You're not old!! Don't be silly, thousands of women have babies in their 40's.That old eggs thing is a load of rubbish, IMO until you get past 45, just an excuse for amateurish consultants, it just takes us a little longer. Have you got a short luteal phase, then? In Chinese medicine that is yang deficiency, people with that usually suffer from cold hands and feet and need to eat warming foods like beef and lamb.. A long pre-ov phase is yin deficiency though, feeling hot with night sweats. I have both of those together, it's common in the over-40's. 
Re the depressed moments-some nice calming smelly oils on the pillow or a hanky while sitting on the sofa with a hot water bottle works for me.

PollyP- I'll do another cycle when I've finished the medication I'm on and have transfer then. I do want some spares in the freezer because if I ever did get pregnant I'd be too old for OE tx afterwards. How are you feeling these days?

KirstylovesS, sorry, didn't mean to worry you with the needle, I thought you knew! It doesn't hurt really when it's in it just looks frightening! What's this gin-sofa thing? I don't get it, did I misread? Do you get your gin & lounge on the sofa? I'm scared I'm being really stupid now&#8230;  

Louise29, it's nice to have you back in fighting form, not surprising things are still raw, it's a huge emotional blow. Amazing that you have gathered yourself together so quickly, none of us here have the luxury of time, I think it forces all of us to be tough on ourselves. My rec's for tx would be Chinese herbs. I think they might help with bringing your body back into balance after the mmc

SeemsLIke4, I keep it all under my hat, too. It's a real strain, thank god there's FF to be able to endlessly discuss.

Whitvi, interesting what you say about the thyroid levels
On the DHEA front, I really recommend you check your SHBG, testosterone and DHEA levels before starting, then again after 3 months of taking it. Supposedly if your testos goes too high it can affect egg quality,not sure what it means if the other two go above the upper limit&#8230; both my SHBG & testosterone did and I decreased the dose to get them back within the range again, have to get all them redone in Feb.

Ipomee, don't lose heart, you're only at the beginning. I had Gonal for my early days but I hate the stuff, some ladies love it but it did nothing for me! I'm having homoepathy too, but to deal with the side effects of other meds I'm taking. I totally believe in it, I did before and after blood tests for a totally seperate issue and the homoe had completely sorted it out. It sounds like your practitioner had you written off from the start, just forget about him and move on to someone who is supportive _and_ good, who will do their very best for you. How come he didn't know the dominant follicle was a cyst from the beginnign anyway?? pffhhh!!!   

Have I missed anyone? Helloooo!!
Off to squeeze in some yoga before bed....


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## empedia

*Urbangirl* thank you. I am just coming to terms with it all really. Re the TABLET study, the whole point of it is to research to see if giving thyroxine to people with the antibody helps them conceive and maintain the preganancy. They are only doing the study on people with no other thyroid problems, like me. So I would be able to trot off to the doctor if I had other problems OR in a couple of years' time when they prove that the thyroxine does help. But the study is finding out if it does help, so they need to have a double blind trial with some people on it and some people on a placebo, to see if it has an effect and prove it statistically, before the drug can be approved for this particular purpose (it is approved for use in pregnancy etc., I'm not exposing myself to any risks!). So basically this is the best chance I have of getting the thyroxine (one in two chance) if indeed it does help (which it probably does because they can't get to this kind of trial stage without having a good idea that it does0.

Hope that makes sense!

Hope all are well and have a good weekend. AFM generally, a bit less down today, heavy AF but not uncopable with, just keeping close to home!!!


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## seemedlike4eva

Good evening,
just had a quick read through the last 2 pages...I was glad to find I'm not the only person on the planet taking labetalol!!! The fact that it's pg safe is a happy coincidence, as I've reacted to all other categories of BP meds, this one gives me cold hands and feet, typical side effect of beta-blockers, but I can cope with that. I don't know if anyone else gets the same reaction but I'm frequently asked why I'm on such an old fashioned drug for my BP.
The great tea debate...I will look out for the decaff Yorkshire tea, I do like my 'brews' to taste of tea!


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## empedia

Ooh *seemslike4ever* I reacted to all the other ones too, blew up like a balloon, went like a slug etc., and yes, get the same reaction. Last laugh now, though!


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## bannyb

Morning all! Gosh, it's really busy on this thread at the moment! Have had a skim through posts but would need more time to catch up properly and do personals.
 
Louise, lovely to see you back and hope you had a wonderful wedding, really pleased to see you indulged in all things off limits to ivf for a couple of weeks! Have been thinking of you   


Polly, glad all going well for you still   


Liz, I have an under active thyroid and take thyroxine, shout if I can help at all, pm me though as it's so busy on here I wouldn't want to miss it.


Interesting reading about DHEA, hoping I won't need it now, but should anything go wrong I wold be interested in this too.


AFM have a reassurance scan tomorrow,      that all is ok.


 All round and hi to everyone!


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## hjanea

Banny- good luck for your scan!!


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## urbangirl

Empedia, i get it, though if people on the thyroxine start to show much more pregnancies in the first year I hope, ethically, they would make a decision to give it to the placebo group.  Or, if me I'd be inclined to get it from elsewhere!

The gin-sofa, it came to me in the middle of the night!  But I never drank spirits, only red wine so I just didn't get it! A big sofa in Langhams seemed quite likely to a naieve teetoller like me 

BannyB- good luck from me also for tomorrow


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## karen71

Been having buserelin since the 4th Jan, now going to have scan tommorow morning. Not been worried or anything so far, but suddenly started to get abit nervous, because in November last year this scan was as far as I got last time, and tx had to be postphoned until now. It's so hard trying not to be to negative or to positive.


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## SueQiwi

hi there~
I am 43 and about to undertake my final IVF in hopes of having a sibling for my DD. We conceived her on 3rd round of IVF when I was 39. I love her so much and know how lucky I am that we got her. 

We have been trying for a sibling for a while and it has been just heartbreaking with 3 more rounds of IVF, miscarriage at 10.5 weeks after seeing heartbeat and then falling pregnant naturally (what a miracle!) only to miscarry again at 9.5 weeks. I was so truly devastated after all that, I never wanted to go back to my clinic again. 

But now I have decided to have one last try--more for closure than anything as I am realistic about my chances (not good!). Part of me is just not ready to give up! But I don't want to be a fool either and cant handle much more heartbreak or money down the drain.

I am starting Buserelin tomorrow and stims on Thursday. I hope I can join your group here and we can cheer each other on. I will have to read through and get up to speed on everybody's situation.

I have been taking DHEA for almost a year now. I was also just diagnosed with under-active thyroid and am now on meds for that. It looks like some of you have this problem too?


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## whitvi

Hi Ladies - hope you all had good weekends!  Anyone stuck cos of the weather?  I do love a bit of snow! lol.

Urbangirl - Thanks for info regarding tests for DHEA, whats SHBG btw?  Do you know what the recommended normal levels should be?  Where did you get the tests done? (by GP, clinic etc?) Thx...

Ipomee - Yes I second what Urbangirl says. I think you should try and draw a line under your previous ivf experience, and start afresh.  Your consultant sounds awful and was obviously just thinking of their 'stats', not in trying to help a couple from attaining their dream.  You definately need to try and research some other better clinics in France and find a consultant that cares about you, not just the clinic stats.  Have you considered going abroad?  I believe there are some great ones in Spain & Greece - not sure if any ladies on here can vouch for those.
Also, when you look at general stats for couples trying to conceive naturally (at our age) the chances are quite low anyway - something like 10-12%.  Which translates to it taking over a year to fall pregnant.  The reasoning behind this, is that egg quality varies greatly from month to month, along with other factors such as timing, sperm count etc etc.  I know this sounds a bit doom and gloom, but I believe that it's same with ivf in that just because one cycle might produce little or no eggs, it doesn't necessarily mean that another cycle won't produce that perfect egg destined to become your baby.  We just need to think that it'll take us a bit longer and need to go through more tries to get what we want.  There are loads of good news stories out there of women that have a dogged determination and perseverance who have got pregnant after being 'written off' by consultants.  Do a search on google and you will find them.  Pls don't lose heart  

Empedia - How long are you on the TABLET study again?  Can't remember, did you also say you have a short LP?  I think mine's a tad on the short side too (10 days mostly).  One of the main factors that contributes to this is being hypothyroid - reasoning behind this is that you usually have a slightly lower basal body temp (ie feeling cold) and also affects progesterone levels (which you need in your luteal phase to nourish the womb).  In chinese medicine, they say you should warm this area as it helps to bring blood flow into the womb which flushes out old blood and keeps everything nice and snuggly warm for the embryo.  Acupuncture is also recommended to help with this.  Maybe your feeling cold on the Labetatalol is affecting your LP in this way too?  Just a thought.
I've upped my Thyroxine, and also now supplement my LP with progesterone cream in the hope that it'll start to increase my LP length.

Seemslike4ever - Yes wow, I'm pretty surprised there are so many of us on Labetalol too, you'd never know unless someone raises it.  Felt like I was the only one on it!  Interesting that you also get cold on it too, like Empedia.  I've always been fine luckily.

BannyB - Hey good luck to you on your scan today!!  Hope everything goes well    Out of interest, do you know what your TSH levels are at the mo, or at last test?  Seeing as your pg has stuck?  Might help us other thyroid girls and give us a bit of a boost.

Welcome SueQiwi!  Yes this is definately the place to come for support & info.  I am in same boat as you TTC #2.  
You say you've just been diagnosed with an underactive thyroid  - pls make sure your TSH levels are below 2 before you start your IVF.  It's really important.

Hi to everyone else, sorry if i've missed anyone!

I'm on 7dpo and it's already starting to feel like torture.... does anyone else chart their BBT?  I'm watching mine like a hawk...

xx


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## bannyb

Thanks for the wishes everyone, will let you know how we get on, absolutely petrified now.


Whitvi, I had my last test at 6 weeks pg and my tsh had gone up a bit to 2.1 so they increased my thyroxine by 25mcg to try to maintain it below 2 and retesting at week 11.


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## bannyb

SueQiWi, welcome! So sad to read about your losses, I know just how hard that is. I'm just about to go for a scan at 8+4 and petrified in case I have lost it again, I know I won't relax until I'm well into my second trimester. Loads of luck with this last round for you


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## whitvi

Thanks Banny B - good news on your TSH levels.

Will be thinking of you!
x


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## empedia

*whitvi* ah that's really interesting - I have not had a proper natural cycle not on the labetalol ... but that's an interesting thought (I am only 140/80 without labetolol, I don't think that's that dangerous to be honest, so I might try a cycle without it once I've got his one ivf cycle out of the way). Will deffo be trying the progresterone cream thing. Yes, have v short LP which I told the blasted doctors again and again, but they never believe you know your own cycle, do they!!

If I had hypo or hyper thyroidism it would have shown up on my annual thyroid checks and the more conclusive one for TABLET, wouldnt it? I am on TABLET for 3 months initially but I think it's a year all in.

Best wishes to everyone else, mad working day today so just popping in!

liz


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## whitvi

Well Liz, rightly or wrongly I have begun to distrust every doctor for the same reasons you mention below!

For years I believed my thyroid was ok as the doctors kept saying 'results are fine' so I never queried it. Then I went to a natural health clinic one day (after being referred to by a friend who had had 5 unexplained m/c's, then proceeded to have her baby after seeing 'this' clinic - that's another story!)) and she told me my thyroid reponse was weakened. Ok, so I then starting researching on the net, came across FF and started up on the Thyroid thread. Thats when the ladies there stressed to me to recheck my thyroid levels and that my TSH MUST be below 2 to optimise pregnancy and reduce risk of m/c. So when I looked at my previous results my TSH was always between 3 & 5. Now this is still considered as normal, but in the higher range of normal and therefore this is why the doctors always said I was 'fine'. I was then determined to get treated for this in order to bring my TSH down to below 2 but my GP refused to prescribe me with Thyroxine as they did not think I needed it. It was only after going to see a private endocrinologist specialising in infertility that I finally got my thyroxine prescription. Subsequently and (coincidentaly?) when my TSH was retested as 1.25 I was already pregnant!?!
I guess I'll never really know if it was a fluke or not, but I swear that it was the thyroxine that fixed my hormonal imbalance and resulted in my pregnancy.

The only reason I keep harping on about checking your TSH levels and to not trust the doctors is because of the above. You just never know.... Plus I saved thousands on the IVF treatment that I never needed (but had just started!)

There's no harm in checking.

Here are some links I found regarding TSH needing to be below 2 (also mentions about Hashimoto's).

http://thyroid.about.com/od/hormonepregnantmenopause1/a/Hypothyroidism-Hashimotos-Disease-Pregnancy.htm

http://perfecthealthdiet.com/2010/07/thyroid-more-evidence-that-%E2%80%9Cnormal%E2%80%9D-is-unhealthy/

x
/links


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## whitvi

BTW, i'm still on thyroxine at the mo but at my last test my TSH was 2.75 so I'm wondering if this is why I've had no luck getting a BFP thus far.
I've been working on getting this stabilised, and have just had another retest so am hoping I get the results through soon and that it's gone down to below 2.
x


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## karen71

Thats one step further than I got last time . The scan was ok and now got to start taking tablets( can't remember at the moment what the are called) 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening, as well as doing injections still.


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## fififi

Yeah - all that worrying for.nothing!!!   
Hope that your cycle continues with positives all the way   

Ps Why not join over 40 current cycles thread - was big help to me last cycle


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## Ellie.st

Just wanting to wish you good luck with the rest of your tx.    

Ellie


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## hjanea

Banny- hope its gone OK today.


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## bannyb

Thanks Helen, it went well, saw a wonderful heart beating and a wriggling little bean. Very happy!


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## Polarbear72

Cor blimey Bannyb been checking in all evening to see what happened!! That is great news!!!

Just a quick update from me: I have delayed my cycle a month to clean my body, get back to under a BMI of 25 and give the DHEA a chance to work. 

Am checking in every day on all your progress!


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## hjanea

Fantastic news Banny!!


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## whitvi

Ah Banny, thats brilliant - bet it was just magical!  Well done you!  
x


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## empedia

So pleased for you, *Banny*! Fingers crossed for a calm sailing from now on!

AFM I'm not that great this morning unfortunately. Still on DR, still on Buseralin ...

1. Yesterday needle housing was dodgy or something, some of the liquid got out of the side and dripped on instead of in me. Grr. No air bubbles don't worry.
2. Today I had a big drop of blood when I took the needle out - argh! Shock! First time! Had to call DP and have a cry. Yes, I realise there is blood involved in birth and children. But this shocked and upset me.
3. AF seems almost over, wasn't too bad, a bit off and on. But have pinching pains in lower abdomen,between pelvic bones. Lining trying to shed when there isn't anything to shed? ANyone else had this? Only one side, seems too low for ovaries.

Maybe I've just had all the things that can go wrong now, but the injecting seems to be getting worse not better. I've got hypnotherapy tomorrow avo and I'm hanging on for that, all this worry cannot be good for me!

Thanks for listening ladies!


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## goldbunny

sorry the injecting does get worse! by the end of my second cycle my legs seemed to have sort of tensed up with all the injecting (3 a day, buserelin, gonal F and menopur) and the bleeding after injecting thing was common. Not all the time, but common. I think massaging your legs helps. well if that's where you're injecting! 

empedia when you do an injection first you must get ready your cotton wool pad (half one will do!) and your gummy bear (or other preferred sweet) 
stab - cotton - bear. job done. very important to remember the bear, see. on account of then the rest is much better.


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## empedia

*Goldbunny* giggle - thank you. Actually I'm glad the injecting gets worse for everyone and it's not me being rubbish. I am wondering if I can actually cope with this, though, physically or mentally. And does anyone actually believe there might be an actual baby at the end?I dont know if I'm failing to be good at visualising, not visualising it because I somehow know it will never happen, or everyone's like this!

I do have cotton wool ready, it was just a big blob and so sudden. Put cotton wool on and no more came out. Then had thyroxine pill and went to do some work. May purchase gummy bears.


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## Ipomée

Congratulations Banny!!! I feel my heart beating with happiness for you too!


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## Ipomée

Courage Empedia ,

I had a hard time visualizing too, but I think it was because I feel so much disbelief from the Drs perspective. I felt kind of emotionally numb during the whole stimms event the past week. I still feel numb at the fact that I had no response whatsoever. I'm still absolutely crushed, but I STILL believe that it can happen for all of us. 

For the injections, my first time was a nightmare, I had HUGE bruises. This past stimm session, I only had one. I would inject  the needle "quickly" and closer to a 90% angle than a 45% the last time. The first time, I would inject with hesitation and it caused me a lot of discomfort...
This time, I didn't feel ANY discomfort, kind of imagined becoming a nurse actually! I mean , I crossed over the scary part that I experienced the first time. I felt I could even inject in the car in the dark 

I had some post injection pains too though, cramping, I mean and my tummy was all boated with the rest of me...

I was in London last Fall and I bought a great little round had "skin brush" with natural bristles and a wooden base. I bought it at Boots. It has a cloth hand strap on it. 
After my injections, I would lie down and make circular brushing strokes. I figure it would help disperse the stimm-stuff and would help with the circulation in general. Skin brushing is amazing for circulation. I'm hoping it will help with ovaries (I've been concentrating in this area a little extra), as I've read as we get older, one problem is less blood flow to our ovaries? Anyways, it's a treat and feels wonderful and it will help reduce the bruising effect of the shots.
Ipomée


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## empedia

Thank you Ipomee, it's good to know other people have had nightmares with the injections, though this isn't even stimms yet, Might try doing it faster tomorrow as it's back to the "good" tummy side (I am rotating through tummy and thighs). I feel a lot better having gone to the gym and had a giggle with a friend ... 

Best wishes to all xx


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## karen71

Thanks fififi, and Ellie  ..
also thanks for saying about 40 current cycles thread fififi, I hadn't noticed that thread.lol. I just went down to the other ones, I will have a look and maybe put something


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## karen71

HI I'm just starting IVF again for the second time, had my 1st scan on monday after injecting burselin( is that spelt right?) and it was ok, so now still injecting and started taking 4 tablets of Elleste solo a day. My sister is donating her eggs to me, so I don't know if I will be doing the same things as everyone else, but I hope I can still talk to you


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## empedia

Hello *Karen71* and welcome. You will be having Egg Transfer but not Collection so you'll have the same experience as many of us for that bit. And what a beautiful thing for your sister to do!

I am on Day 16 of Buseralin, baseline scan booked for Thursday and hopefully stimming starting then, which is the bit you miss out on. Good luck with the process.

Liz


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## fififi

Karen - I found the over 40s current cyclers thread a lot easier than the "normal" current cyclers thread as the majority of ladies are in a similar position to you, rather than getting 10+ eggs etc.
Hope you're beginning to get excited now about the next steps


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## karen71

Hi empedia, thanks for your welcome  . I didn't get very far in my first go with IVF trying to use my own eggs, so I'm more or less doing most things for the first time,fingers crossed I get that far  . I'm so grateful to my sister, I can't thank her enough. Good luck to you to, I hope it goes ok on thursday.


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## SueQiwi

*Banny*~Congratulations!! You must be over the moon. What fantastic news about your scan. I was really feeling for you as I know you must have been so scared. I know exactly what that is like!

*Empedia*~I'm afraid the injections do get a bit worse--but you can do this. I usually end up with a black and blue belly by the end of it! I think it is totally normal to have doubts and worries and not be able to even imagine a baby. We have all been through so much--sometimes it's hard to keep positive and all sweetness and light all the time! But the good thing is that studies show that stress levels have NO effect on IVF outcome. So no need to worry about being worried lol. I know the cycles that actually worked for me were when I was at my lowest mentally. The ones where I actually meditated and visualized and kept positive did not work! go figure.

*Karen*~Welcome to you. That is so kind and generous of your sister to offer her eggs! What a gift. How old is she? You are lucky you get to skip egg collection--that is the worst part!

AFM I am on day 2 of Buserelin. I start Gonal-F tomorrow. Our clinic switched from Puregon to Gonal-F--do you know if there is any difference? I have only used Puregon in the past.


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## bannyb

Thanks so much everyone   


Liz, I was a bit black and blue by the end of this round. I also gave an injection and half of it was dripping down me instead of in me! i just gave the injection again as I had no idea how much had actually gone in. You probably just hit a small capillary and it bled, if you pinch your skin when injecting to make sure you reach the subcutaneous fat layer it might help? Also make sure you get the needle the right way round, it's slightly beveled on one side so you want that part at the top if that makes sense (longer bit at bottom) so that the sharpest part of the needle goes in first as causes less pain. I'm sure you know all that already, but just thought I'd mention it just in case!


Welcome Karen,you're going through the same as everyone else just minus one part, so this is a very good thread to be on, lots of luck with this round    What a lovely thing your sister is doing for you   

Hope everyone else is doing well, hugs   

Who mentioned gummy bears?! Great idea, wish I had thought of that at the time!! Ooh, I really fancy a gummy bear now!


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## kittykins

Hi girls 

Had to have a few days break for googling for my own sanity really - have read back and huge congrats to Banny so pleased for you. 

Big welcome to SueQ and Karen - everyone is so lovely on here and so very very supportive. 

Well I did a test at the weekend and it was the inevitable   - still don't know what made me test again today but it was with a clearblue digital and says   1-2 weeks.  Beta is due tomorrow but we are not going for it as it is just too far to travel in this weather.  Will test again next week and hope that it has gone up.  Our first BFP never moved on from 1-2 weeks and we MC at 7 weeks so what with all that googling last week Im not hopeful this one will stick due to the grade c placenta cells. 

Just gonna have an easy day with DD setting up the Happyland Village.  Shocked, worried and slightly optomistic. 

Love to everyone and stay warm and safe. 

x x x


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## seemedlike4eva

Kittykins       that it stays with you! Well done xxx


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## empedia

*Kittykins* sending thoughts your way for strength to deal with whatever is happening and for good news. I'm not sure I understand about the week 1-2 thing so sorry if I'm getting the wrong end of the stick (and there's no need to explain it as i'm sure I'll catch up if I ever get to that stage). Just wanted to send best wishes.

*bannyb* thank you! Um, I am still on the buseralin with the really fine needle so it doesn't have a way round that I can see with my over-40s eyes!! And I put it in at 90 degrees i.e. at right angles to my skin. Yes, I do the pinch, great big pinch too although there is less to pinch on the leg that bled yesterday. Hope you're doing well in yourself.

AFM injection went fine today, textbook one, apart from the bit where I carefully dropped my bit of cotton wool on the floor and had to shout for DP. Oops. DId it early and went back to sleep. I have hypnotherapy today - a chat and then a session. I had a long bath yesterday with an easy book, and thought up the mantra things I would like my hypnotherapist to put into my mind in the session today (I have a chat with him first then a session):
You will remain calm and relaxed while giving yourself injections and any other medication.
You will remain calm and relaxed while having scans, blood tests and any other investigations.
You will remain calm and relaxed while at the hospital and having the procedures that are part of the process.
You will remain calm and relaxed throughout the process. 
If you get worried, you will be able to calm down quickly.
You will not be anxious about anything you do, see, feel, hear or touch.
You will remain calm about anything you do, see, feel, hear or touch.

I think that's covered everything in a nice general way so he can put those in my head. Last time I had hypno I didn't believe it would work and it would, so it's bound to work much better when I really believe it will work!

GOod luck to everyone today x


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## Pollypoppet

Kittykins - congratulations! A positive is a positive, I think we're programmed to think things will go wrong and after your previous experience its only natural but every successful pregnancy starts this way. Keep the faith, I really hope this one turns out to be the one


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## hjanea

Congratulations Kittykins!! Enjoy happyland- my DD is nearly 8 and still plays with hers!


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## bannyb

Congratulations Kittykins!       So pleased for you!


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## whitvi

Hey Kittykins!  Well done you!  You've ticked all the boxes so far, so I hope it continues that way for you    

Lets hope there are many more BFP's on here to come.

AF is due Friday and I can feel impending doom.....
x


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## Mish3434

New home this way ladies..........................................

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=300323.new#new

Shelley x


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