# Advice on what to do after 1st failed cycle



## Hope2508 (Dec 18, 2012)

Friday was one of the worst days of my life, it was confirmed that our 1st IVF cycle had failed.

I had started to bleed Tuesday but was advised it could be implant bleed etc yet when it got darker and the old familiar 'period' feelings lasted I knew for certain without having to be told- the BFN was just the confirming blow.

I feel really alone!

It's all been go-go-go since 23rd Jan when I started on the 'short cycle' and now after the BFN we're just left to it. God do I feel crap. No counselling assistance or advice on how to deal with it just '' here is a letter to give to reception to book you in for 'failed cycle appointment' ''
This will be 28th March- 4 bloody weeks!

What do i do in the meantime?

When can I think about trying again & how do I stop myself going crazy trying to work out what went wrong


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## hilly35 (Feb 14, 2012)

Hi hope, so terribly sorry to hear your news. I too am on my first cycle - down regging at the moment. I know after my 3rd failed iui that I had pretty much hit rock bottom and I went to see a counsellor who specialises in fertility issues. I cannot tell you how much this helped me. I just felt someone understood my pain, I had been holding a lot of it back rather than dump on dh. Not good for either of us. I know if this cycle fails for me it's where I will turn for a little bit of help. We spend so much time worrying about our bodies that sometimes we forget our minds need some help too. This is the biggest roller coaster we will ever be on. Anyway that's my two pence, I know you will deal with this and the journey will start for you again, and I know that although it wasn't your time this month it will come. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best


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## Gemstone21 (Feb 18, 2013)

Hiya Hope,

So sorry to hear your news.

You are not alone hun  

I had BFP then in week 5 m/c, it was devastating!!! It was our first IVF attempt and i am so scared to try again, i don't want to go through this hurt again  

I am constantly thinking...what went wrong? why didn't my little embie make it? Ive had to take a week off work to chill out, dreading going back!

Just keep thinking OMG we have to go through everything all over again! 

We have our review with the consultant on Thursday and Ive heard that after a m/c you have to wait 2 - 3 months to start again pffft.

I guess in the mean time you need to keep talking about it, if you don't it will drive you insane. This site has helped me so much this week. Also take a break.....go away somewhere quiet for the weekend just to gather your thoughts and relax....you time!

We are all here to listen and offer advice  

Don't give up!!! xx


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## PrettyKitty (Jul 14, 2012)

Oh Hope, I really do feel for you.  I can only imagine how you must be feeling.  I'm still in my 2ww of our first ICSI cycle.

I can't believe your clinic is not offering counselling support.  This comes free of charge for me in my clinic,all during treatment and up to one year afterwards.  Would highly recommend speaking to someone as they will help you make sense of your feelings.

You need to grieve for this cycle and take time out.  . Don't fight your feelings but please do speak to someone.

Xx


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## bekiboo13 (Mar 4, 2013)

Hi Hope

I am in the same position as my treatment cycle was cancelled two weeks ago as I developed a cyst on the Buserelin  and was in complete shock.  Take some time to get your head together, cry, talk, get angry and frustrated as it's your right to do so but the one thing I have found that has helped through all of it is to keep hopeful even when you your emotions overwhelm you and tell you differently. Try and focus on what was successful about the cycle (ie responding to stimms, fertilization etc...) as the words "IVF failure" does make it difficult to see what did go well.  It might help you feel more hopeful with respect to the next cycle? I also think a good point has been raised about seeking counselling support to have that safe space to talk about how you are feeling. Keep us posted in the future and I wish you all the best.

Beki x


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## bambibaby12 (Oct 29, 2012)

Hi ladies...

How are you all getting on... Sending u all big hugs  

Hope2508 - I'm in the same boat and your story sounds just like me.... My OTD isn't until Tuesday but I'm bleeding heavy today and I just know that's it.. Game over!   have they told you at all how long u have to wait I start ur next cycle, I agree ŷou do just feel abandoned. Theyve had your money, no answers, no baby and it's time to stump up again for another cycle...
Please keep me posted with how u get on xx

Gemstone - how did ur review mtg go? Did you get any answers?? Hope it's not too long before u can start again hunny xx

Bekiboo - that must be so frustrating to get your cycle cancelled.... Will they need to remove the cyst or will it just go on its own....xx


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## bekiboo13 (Mar 4, 2013)

Hi Bambibaby

They kept me on Buserelin injections for another 9 days from the baseline scan when we discovered the cyst and then when my period came which was two days after the last injection, they started me on the pill as apparently it helps break down the cysts.  I'm to take the full 21 days of microgynan but start the Buserelin injections on day 18 of the pill so there is an overlap. They are also hoping that this will help prevent any future cysts developing on this cycle as I have pcos which means my responses can be unpredicatble. Due to start Buserelin again on Tuesday so keep fingers crossed for me.

Im sorry to hear your news, I don't think anyone gets how hard this process is unless they're activley involved in it - I know I didn't have a clue it would be this hard. I think they usually suggest waiting two-three months before starting a whole cycle again. I asked this at my clinic before we started treatment. Xxxx


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## bambibaby12 (Oct 29, 2012)

Awh hunny I'm so pleased you've been able to keep going and I will keep everything crossed for you  

You are right it's a tough old journey and some of the ladies on here just amaze me with their strength and resilience. Just hope I can show a glimmer of that over these next few weeks.

Keep us posted with how u get on xx


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## bekiboo13 (Mar 4, 2013)

Hey Bambibaby

I will keep you all posted...if all goes to plan we should complete this cycle mid April but this time round I have removed my rose tinted glasses and will take the treatment plan step by step! Let me know how you get on with starting the next cycle xx


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## bambibaby12 (Oct 29, 2012)

I've got to admit, now I've been through a cycle I'm eyes wide open now too. I honestly just thought it would all be ok and it would work. Hmm next time the barriers are going to be up!xx


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## bekiboo13 (Mar 4, 2013)

Tell me about it! Id taken all this leave off work in advance to cover my treatment plan which went right out the window at baseline scan.  now Im in a new job and its going to be so  much harder to manage the time off now I know there is no such thing as plan when it comes to us ladies with pcos! Lol! Really not sure how I'm going to manage this at all.   I'm going to try and keep hopeful though as that's all I am in control of and if I lose that, I think I'll lose my sanity   lol xxx


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## Gemstone21 (Feb 18, 2013)

Hi bambibaby12,

The review went.....ok lol. The Dr didn't really say much, apart from saying to my DP "You have wonderful strong eggs would you like to egg share again"......left me thinking well what the hell happend then inside me lol.

The Dr suggested that i take an extra pessaries on Egg collection day. Last time they started me on two and increased it to three.

They said we can start straight away but its been two weeks since m/c and i am still bleeding.....no idea when i will stop or start my next period.

Also....can you believe the HFEA have increased the prices by £1000 for partner to partner egg sharing!

Hows everything going your end?

Hugs to you all   xx


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## bambibaby12 (Oct 29, 2012)

Hi gemstone

Glad you are able to share again and at least you don't have to wait too long, I know how hard it is having to go through it all again, at one point I wasn't even sure I would do another cycle but feeling much better today.

I've got to have a hysteroscopy so they can check my womb as they think I have an issue with implantation.

I'm away until 17th April so hoping to get appt not long after that then I can get going for ivf on my next cycle. DH has just about come round to yet another dip into our savings 


Hope everybody else is ok.   xx


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