# An end



## bagpuss1 (Feb 26, 2005)

Hi guys,

I just wanted to come on to say goodbye and thankyou for all of the support and friendship that has been shown to us throughout the last few years. After 11 years together, Helen and I have split up. I probably wont be on here again as there wont be any more TTC.

We are still communicating for Edies sake and I am just so so upset that she wont be bought up in our lovely family. 

I am so sad

Love you all,
Kerry


----------



## starrysky (Dec 6, 2004)

Hi Kerry

I am really sorry to hear this.  Jo is too.

take care of yourself, and hope you'll come back, the group is here for all things as well as ttc

haven't been on for ages but do think of you (all)

Heather


----------



## Mable (Apr 9, 2005)

Oh my goodness, how very sad for you all. I feel in shock myself and can't quite think what to say.
Hope to hear from you again,
Mable


----------



## evelet (Sep 27, 2005)

what sad news. hope you are all ok.


----------



## Alison0702 (Apr 7, 2006)

Oh Kerry I'm really sad for you all. Hope you do come here again even if it's just to chat, like Heather said it's not just about TTC on here.

Thinking of you


----------



## nismat (Mar 7, 2005)

What sad news Kerry, you must both be devastated by the way things have worked out. All the problems with that awful neighbour must have taken a huge toll on your relationship. 
I'm so sorry that it's all ended for you and that you won't be bringing up Edie together as you had hoped and planned. I hope that both you & Helen have got friends and family to support you through a very difficult time, it must be so awful at the moment. 
I hope that you do manage to keep communicating for Edie's sake, as that's so important (as you obviously know). Hugs to you all   

And as Heather said, do keep in touch, as this board is for parenting as well as TTC x


----------



## pipgirl (Jul 11, 2007)

So sorry to read this post.

I really feel for you after all the difficulties recently, perhaps theres still some hope?

Hope things work out and if not that the changes are as smooth as possible for you both and your DD.

Pip.


----------



## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

I only just saw this.

Kerry - I am so so sorry. Its awful news   . I can imagine how devestated you can be.

Please stay here if you can xxxx


----------



## bagpuss1 (Feb 26, 2005)

Hi guys,

Thankyou so much for your lovely messages. I am okay- at work today after having two days off sick. Shouldnt really be here cos I keep crying because everyone is being so nice to me but felt that I needed the distraction.

Helen has Edie today so it is nice that they are spending some time together, Edie seems to be really missing her. I think our families are just as devastated as we are- no-one really saw this coming especially me- i mean we have been having our issues but I never thought for one minute that this would be the end of us. There are just so so many things that I wish I could have done differently and yes, I do think our terrible year has just weakend us and then with our 3 BFNs it has just thrown us too much. Perhaps we put too much pressure on ourselves although we both felt we were ready.

I can only hope that we can stay civil for Edies sake- our little girl is hurting so much and all I want to do is stop the world and get off it!

Kerry


----------



## mintyfaglady (Aug 25, 2007)

Oh Kerry, I really feel for you. Hang in there. I know the end of a message board isn't much, but we are here to listen to you and support you. It sounds like you and Helen have had a tough time of things. I'm sure that whatever you and she decide now, you'll both continue to be wonderful mothers to your beautiful little girl.

Minty
xxx


----------



## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Kerry   

Oh how awful - when you don't see it coming. Such a dreadful shock. You're doing well to be in work. So glad to read you are getting support there as there isn't anyway to avoid that shock reaction. But you will work through it and be able to think clearer.

Edie will, undoubtedly, adapt very quickly   . But it is very sad and now what you had planned for her   

Love

Emma x


----------



## lucky2010 (Jan 10, 2006)

thinking of you x x x x x


----------



## Mable (Apr 9, 2005)

Yes, me too, still hoping for something more hopeful to come of this for you all. Do keep posting if it's helpful.


----------



## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hay kerry

sorry to have only just seen this.      what a sad shock for you.    

please keep posting 

aimee


----------



## bagpuss1 (Feb 26, 2005)

Hi guys,

Thank you so much for your lovely posts, maybe when things have settled down for me and Edie, I may keep posting. It all still seems like a dream, sometimes during the day, I am sobbing my heart out and others I feel really strong. Helen has been gone just over a week and it feels like a lifetime. 

Edie is okay, she seems to be coping although today she told one of our neighbours that Mama didnt want her anymore. We both burst into tears, I dont think Edie really knew what she was saying but it broke my heart, I just wish I could tell Helen this to make her see how much we are hurting but it would be unfair, this is not about Edie it is about the mess we made of our relationship.

I guess I am grieving, not only for us but for the life we had planned together, I still love H with all of my heart and have told her this so many times over the last week. I have to stop now because it is not making things easier for me to be continually hoping that she will come back- she wont.

Everyone around me has been great, I couldnt wish for a better support network. My neighbours (the only ones I have told) have been feeding me and being there for me when I need them, they have been amazing. My Dad is quite gutted and rushed round here the other day when I couldnt stop crying and was hysterical on the phone.

I just have to concentrate on giving Edie the life that I have always wanted for her (except the single mom thing) She needs to know that she is very much loved by both of us. No matter how difficult it is for me, I have to carry on.

Sorry for the essay, it is quite cathartic,

Kerry and Edie


----------



## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hay kerry 

sending hugs   is there no chance for you guys?  would you be able to have some relationship counselling?  

glad your neighbours and dad are taking care of you.

love aimee


----------



## pem (Jan 10, 2007)

Kerry - sending you huge   and thinking about you, keep writing and talking if it is helping you. I am sure Edie will always know she is loved by both of you....

More  

Emma and Edie x


----------



## bagpuss1 (Feb 26, 2005)

Hi guys,

Thank you for your lovely messages. Things are still the same really. 

I am having to start to accept that this has happened, am only in the early stages so am still having some really bad days but I will carry on finding strength. Have spoken to one of our psychiatrists today (I am a psychiatric nurse) about the merits of anti-depressants to help me cope with this. At the moment, he has just said to see how it goes and to just take one step at a time. I shall go to my GP if things have not improved for me in a few weeks.

I have not seen Edie since Tuesday morning as she has been with Helens family- this time has been a really low point for me as I have been on my own in our house, but I managed to get through it and even went out last night with a friend.

I just need to see that life can be good again and look to each day to bring me more strength.

Anyway enough,

Love Kerry and Edie


----------



## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

kerry.

take it slowly. things *will *get better.


----------



## jemima_mum (Sep 7, 2008)

Kerry...

There was so much I wanted to say I have sent you a message -my heart goes out to you and your daughter...stay strong!

Jemima x


----------



## nickster (Jul 6, 2007)

Kerry

Haven't been on here for ages and am very sad to hear your news. Hope you are finding the strength to get yourself and Edie through this.

Thinking of you... 

Nickyx


----------



## snagglepat (Sep 13, 2004)

Oh Kerry,

I've only just read this and have sent you a PM. Our love and thoughts are with you all through this horrid time. If we can help you at all then please just ask.

Best wishes,

Gina. x


----------

