# 40 and don't know where to start!



## AuroraAngel (Dec 23, 2013)

Hi, 

I’m new here and not really sure where to start, but am looking for any friendly support and advice please  

I just turned 40 and been TTC. My husband and I got together late on and weren’t in a position to have children at the time.  Now it feels like it’s crept up and it may well be too late.  I’d always convinced myself that if it happened then that was great, but if it didn’t that would be ok.  I kind of assumed that as I started my periods very late and have always been quite young for my age, that the whole pregnancy cut off for me would probably be later. Well now I know there are problems and it may well be too late, I didn’t realise how much I was just convincing myself that I would feel ok if I didn’t have kids ‘just in case’ it didn’t happen.  Now that ‘just in case’ is probably true and it’s devastating. 

I’d purposefully not read up much about infertility and the mechanics of TTC etc until recently as a self protection thing.  I’ve seen a lot of people go though infertility and IVF etc and just saw how it seemed to take over their lives and how stressed they became (several couples we know split up due to this) and I didn’t want that to happen to me and my husband and thought that nature would take its course, but it hasn’t.

I’ve now brought some books and am looking online trying to make sense of it all and trying not to panic, but it’s hard not to.  There’s so much negative press and blame out there about ‘women who leave it too late’ and it really upsets me.  There are various personal reasons why I only started TTC when I reached 38/39 and I get really upset by the negativity toward people like me.  

I went to the GP in May and am due to see a consultant gynaecologist (infertility) for the first time in late Jan. It felt like it took ages for my GP to go through the motions to get to this point which is frustrating.  I never get to see the same GP twice due to a stupid booking system they have and the first GP I saw (a man) only seemed to want to cast judgment and his first question (in an exasperated tone) was “why have you left it so late?”.  They sent me for several blood tests for progesterone and ovulation – I had to wait until different times of the month for each which after 4 tests and waiting for the (supposedly) right days took months. They now say I’m not ovulating.  They didn’t really explain anything to me and I’ve tried to discuss my cycle with them, but they don’t really listen. If I’d know what they were looking for, I could have told them the first few tests were pointless as my cycle is long and I now know (after reading up) that they were sending me too early because of this.  Husband’s sperm has been tested and is apparently ok.  Should I ask for copies of the results of the tests so far as I haven't actually seen anything and what I have been told is vague?

I have been monitoring my cycle for 2 years now and it can be between 28 and 39 days and totally varies from month to month so is really hard to track.  I’ve brought ovulating testing kits from Amazon which I plan to start using this month, but as my cycle varies so much, I don’t know when to start and whether they’ll work. I’ve also been taking various supplements for many months (folic acid, multi-vitamins, zinc, L'Arginine, Royal Jelly) and don’t drink, smoke or have any caffeine, weight is fine and I walk a lot every day with my dog. 

Basically, I’m not sure what I need to know and where the best advice really is as there are so many different opinions and possible sources out there and I’m not sure where is best to find out.  Also, I’m not very science minded and the bits I have read so far are quite honestly mind boggling already    All the acronyms, counting days, different possible causes and treatments – it's all so daunting!  

I’m also not sure what I need to ask when I see the consultant.  Any advice and support would be really gratefully received.

Many thanks 
Aurora

PS.  Sorry, I don’t know all the abbreviations yet!


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## Offthewall (Apr 28, 2013)

Firstly, hi and welcome to FF  

My journey is so similar to yours and I totally understand just what a frustrating experience dealing with the NHS can be!

You should definitely try and obtain printed copies of all of your test results, as these will be handy when you see the Consultant. Keep copies yourself too. You have to chase the NHS for everything but they will supply this info. if requested.

Re: your appt. with the Consultant, you should ask what his proposal would be for treatment ie is further testing needed? It's advisable for them to test your FSH (hormone which can affect ovulation), LH (hormone which controls release of your eggs) and Oestradiol (hormone which can affect your cycle length etc).
Clomid is a drug that can be prescribed for ladies that aren't ovulating. Perhaps this may be a first step? Just a thought, do you suffer from Polycystic Ovaries (PCOS)? You can search on this forum for more details. It may be worth discussing this with your Consultant to see if this is an issue.

Basically you need him to be as explicit as possible.  Don't feel afraid to ask as many questions as possible and read some of the threads on this forum, which will arm you with lots of info. those of us who have been on this TTC journey for a while are always willing to offer advice, so feel free to ask questions here too.

Hope that's been of some help. Please let us know how you get on with your consultation.

Offthewall x


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

hi aurora. don't panic about getting old. good luck with your treatment. x


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## AuroraAngel (Dec 23, 2013)

Hi Offthewall

Thanks for the reply and the helpful advice. 

I def think I'll get copies of the results as soon as Xmas is over so I'm fully informed before the consultant appointment. I don't think PCOS is a factor for me though - I know friends who have it and I don't have main symptoms/signs, but I'll fully check it out on here.  

Hope your treatment is going ok and thanks for the support  

Aurora


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## AuroraAngel (Dec 23, 2013)

Hi Goldbunny,

Thanks for your reply and encouragment - nice to know I'm not alone  

Positive thoughts to you for your wee Spot  

Thanks,
Aurora


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