# hello there, pls does anyone have anythoughts or advice



## Mimi27 (Feb 6, 2006)

Hello all,

I would be grateful to receive any guidence, opinion's from anyone really, re my Q...

Me and my dh, have been researching surrogacy as this is one of our possible options, but  we have been told there may a problem due to our ethnicities...  as adviced by someone at one of the info sevice sites (I don't no if I can name them?) 

I myself am dual heritage, do you think this would cause a problem to  a surrogate? 

Also do you think that if we were looking at a host, someone would help us despite this? 

I myself am a bone marrow doner as because of my ethnicity if I were to suffer with lukemia, there would be a one in thousand's chance of me finding a doner compared to 1 in 4 in my counter parts,,,,,,

so I figure I would not have much chance of finding a straight surro,,,,,  , ?? do you think this could be a viable option open to us

When I first started looking into this its funny that I never thought this would be a problem, until speaking with one of the surro info info service in the uk .....  

hay ho 

Thanking everyone in advance x and sending you all


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi Mimi,
All I can say as a member of SUK is that we have several mixed race couples, Black/White,Asian/White, Chinese /White.
Some are doing straight surrogacy and others host.
Some have surrogates and others do not.
I'm not a surrogate, so I can't speak for them, but I should imagine as in every walk of life that some people are less likely to want to work with someone from a different ethnic  background than them,than others.
I don't know who you've spoken to, but I'm sure that it's better to have an organisation be realistic with you, rather than raising your hopes, and taking your money, if they think you won't find a surrogate.
Try  www.surrogacyuk.org if you haven't already and good luck.
EJJB
  x


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## Mimi27 (Feb 6, 2006)

Hello EJJB,

Thanks for your reply, I shall follow up with SUK, as I have not as yet had the chance to speak with some one there.

I get what you were saying about the straight talk and costs,,, . I was grateful that they were straight with me at the other organisation, as its saved me much time, energy, hopes and dreams  , and to be quite honest I need people to be realistic with me to preserve my   on this roller coaster ride,,,,,

Once again EJJB, thanks for your thoughts, sending lots and lots of        vibes  

  mimi


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi Mimi,
Glad my post was helpful.
Just a note though, both my hubby and I are white British and it still took us 2 and a half years to find the right surro for us, so you do have to be patient.
Our little girl will be 8 weeks tomorrow, and she is definetly worth the wait.
Best of luck
EJJB
  x


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## Danuna (Apr 27, 2005)

I can only speak as an ex-surrogate (it did not work for me).  As a straight surrogate my main reasons for not wanting to work with a non-white couple is that I felt it would be best for the child if it looked as much as possible like its parents.  I could imagine the couple walking together, baby in buggy and passers by thinking that the wife had been unfaithful to her husband because the child looked half Caucasian. I would also think that the parents' extended family might not accept the child, not only because it was born through surrogacy, but because it was part white.  

As I'm quite dark, I also would not have wanted to work with a couple that both had blond hair and blue eyes; although if the circumstances were right, we had a good solid friendship and they were not bothered if the child had dark hair and brown eyes, I would still have considered working with them.

I think if the situation did arise, where I was interested in working with a couple from a different ethnic background I would be okay with it as long as they had written in their profile that they and their family would be able to love an accept a child whose genetic mother was white.  If they did not, I would assume that they were only looking for a surrogate with the same background as the mother.

As other people have said, it is more important that you get along as friends and share similar beliefs and values.  It also helps if you live close enough together to be able to do the practical things that are necessary.


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