# Please help me make my unexpected decision!



## donjee (Aug 4, 2011)

hi everybody. I took a couple of weeks away after my bfn and now I'm back and in desperate need of your thoughts and advice.
I went to see consultant for follow up appointment today, expecting to be told I could get going with my FET straight away but he didn't! he dropped a bombshell which has left me biting the inside of my mouth for the rest of the day (I do this when I'm anxious or worried). He told me he is retiring and will give me a free cycle. great news I hear you say but I don't know what to do because he has said I can choose whether to have a fresh or frozen cycle. 
obviously fresh will give me better chances and may leave me with some extra in the freezer but my last experience nearly killed me so I'm understandably nervous about this idea. he said he learned from my last cycle and wouldn't take my injections over 75mg and would half the trigger and to have the same thing again would be like lightening striking twice. also I know the symptoms to look out for this time. on balance though, frozen is easy and I don't have to tell work etc. I think I'm leaning towards fresh but he'll crack on so its done before he retires beg November so id start sniffing in a couple of weeks! any thoughts or advice . . . I have to call him back in the next day or so with my decision.
thank you in advance for taking the time to reply xxx


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## minkey114 (Nov 10, 2010)

Hi Hun as a fellow OHSS sufferer I understand your dilemma.  Firstly it's great that you have this opportunity.  I don't agree with his comment about lightening striking twice mind you, I have had OHSS twice.  The second time was very severe however that was because I'm pregnant.

If it was me I would do the fresh cycle with the strict understanding they will keep your stimms low and do regular blood tests & scans.  They could also give you a drug called cabergoline to reduce the likelihood of ohss.  It could of course end up on another freeze all cycle though.

Good luck x


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## Mimi Von Trapp (Sep 2, 2012)

Hi sorry to hear about your dilemma! This is a difficult time and this sort of decision cannot be rushed. However I would want to take him up on his offer. It is true they learn more each cycle but each cycle can be very different. It took me 3 years to decide I was ready to try again. I think fresh is best but I also think you need to go with your gut instinct. This is difficult when you are stressed and under pressure. Try to day dream what it would be like to call him tomorrow and telling him you are going ahead. Imagine the conversation and what you would say. How does it make you feel? What are the implications and going ahead? Then imagine phoning him and telling him you want to wait. How does it make you feel? Do you feel relieved? Be honest with yourself. If you decide not to go ahead other opportunities may come your way. None of us knows what the future has in store. Try to follow your instinct and it will be the right choice for you and your body! Good luck!  
Mimi


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## donjee (Aug 4, 2011)

hey minkey, thank you so much for taking the time to respond. ohss is awful isn't it!? my story re the lightening striking twice is that on top of the ohss, I was bleeding internally following egg collection and so I had to have an emergency procedure to right that, remove the blood and then a massive transfusion. really scary on top of ohss! its such a tough decision - I did say not that long ago that I would NEVER have a fresh cycle again . . . I guess time is a good healer in that the edge has been taken off the awfulNess that it was after 6 months.
your twins are a lovely story though and I can only dream of being so lucky (if lucky is the right word to use here) you have however reminded me of two very important factors - firstly that it could end in another freeze all and secondly that if I Fell pregnant, the risk of ohss is there all over again!
thank you again minkey for your thoughts. do you think that if it was you, knowing what you know and having been through what you have been through, you'd go for the fresh cycle?

xxx


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## donjee (Aug 4, 2011)

hey mimi, thank you too for taking the time to help with my decision. I really just want to keep going, keep looking forward and keep striving for my goal of a baby. none of that worries me really. my dilemma is more between the fresh and frozen options and I can see the benefits and pitfalls of both. thank you again for your thoughts xxx


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## karen55 (Jan 19, 2008)

personally id go with a fresh (and well monitored) cycle. The awful fact of ivf is they learn the most from your cycles and theres no way to predict how these things will go. FET may work for you but if it doesnt i cant help feel youl regret the decision, if the fresh cycle  doesnt work you always have those little beauties as a little insurance policy!

good luck xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## minkey114 (Nov 10, 2010)

How traumatic that must have been - I agree the chances of that happening again are minimal, I have never come across it before.

Re what I would do.....I think I would go for the fresh cycle, if I then showed sings of OHSS post transfer I would freeze them but if there was no sign of it I would transfer.  The OHSS was truly awful but I would go through it any day for the chance to be pregnant - however it can of course be very serious...

I have had a stressful pregnancy and was told repeatedly in the 1st trimester that I was miscarrying.  When all this was going on I vowed I would never do a transfer on fresh cycle again, I would freeze them & have the transfer at a later date.

In terms of making thf most of his offer financially you are getting far more with a fresh cycle & with all the frozen embryos you would have (if you did have to freeze) it is extremely unlikely you would ever have to go through or finance a fresh cycle...

Sorry I'm probably not making much sense...in summary I would def do the fresh cycle BUT if it looked like OHSS was likely I would freeze.

Good luck with your decision x


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## Jen81 (Mar 22, 2012)

Hi Donjee, how amazing to be offered a free cycle! Would he consider other protocols which might reduce risk of OHSS? I did a short antagonist protocol and at my final scan I had lots of follicles & very high estrogen levels so they used buserelin as a trigger to reduce risk of OHSS (which was ok because I wasn't using it for down reg) and there were a few studies I found which showed it to be quite effective at reducing risk. I got 21 eggs and managed to avoid OHSS. It does sound like they will monitor you very closely as well so hopefully they've learned a lot from how you responded last time. 

Good luck with whatever you decide x


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## PiePig (May 16, 2007)

I would also consider whether if this works you will want to have more siblings...if you do a fresh and it works you are likely to be left with quite a few frozen, which if you weren't planning to use leaves you with a dilemma as to what to do with them.

If however you do want more then I would definitely opt for fresh, well monitored cycle.


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## donjee (Aug 4, 2011)

thank you all so much for your views and thoughts - it really does help me because I find myself agreeing or disagreeing with you as I read, and that tells me something about how I really feel. I have now had a chance to talk with my husband who has returned from working away and I'm pretty certain that we'll go with the frozen cycle. here are (some of) the reasons. While I lay in hospital with tubes everywhere, he was dealing with the possibility that I could die and contemplating how to manage life withoutme. dramatic maybe but true. he therefore can't bare the thought of putting me near that risk again - especially what he feels is still so soon after, that he doesn't feel he has recovered emotionally from it. secondly, we don't want to be swayed by the financial side of things, if consultant hadn't mentioned fresh cycle today, id have come away very happily with a date for a frozen cycle! we're going to stick with our plan and cross the next bridge of 'what next' if and when the time comes. people do have success with frozen cycles so I don't want to go through the possible hell of ohss when I could have my success sitting in the freezer. I'm trying to think about what is sensible and the very real risks that minkey mentioned really got me thinking. thank you all so much for helping me gather my thoughts and make a decision. you are such lovely people and I've been grateful for the support xxx


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## minkey114 (Nov 10, 2010)

Brilliant glad we all helped you make your decision  . It's amazing how much talking it through can help you realise what you want.  I wish you every success with your cycle, good luck


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## MrsHY (Dec 13, 2010)

Hi again Donjee
Well you know my thoughts about the dreaded OHSS!  
If you do go for another FET then perhaps we'll be cycling together again. I'm on cd8 of a new cycle and will start to down-reg again in my mid-luteal phase ready for another go. I really hope we both get our BFPs this time  x


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