# Feel sad ...



## KP (Apr 27, 2004)

I have 2 lovely boys and feel thoroughly lucky to have them so why do I feel so sad since 2 of DP’s cousins have both announced their 3rd pregnancies within days of each other.  I want so badly to be pleased for them and I suppose I am – both have had miscarriages in the past so its not like they’ve had it totally easy.

But I feel sad for me and its totally unexpected.  DS2 will be our last child as we have no frosties left and no money to pay for more tx.

Cousin1 came into playgroup waving her scan photo and it took real effort to put on a happy face for her.

I feel guilty for not being happy for them.  But how I wish I didn’t feel the need for a 3rd baby.  I’ve got 2 beautiful healthy sons and I shouldn’t feel like this.

Just letting off some steam really, hopefully to others who know how it feels.  DP didn’t really understand when I tried to explain how I felt.

Annette


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## northernmonkey (Sep 25, 2008)

Hi there,

I'm currently trying for a second child and am experiencing the same emotions as you - I know I'm amazingly lucky to have my DD and I never ever take her for granted - she is my world and I would be lost without her.  We're now onto our 3rd cycle of DIUI and although I'm a pretty positive person, I do get down sometimes and have feelings of envy towards other people who are pregnant - especially as all my friends seem to be expecting at the moment!  Unfortunately, it is Mother Nature who gives us the urge to have more children and it's not something that we can override.  Although we will always have huge gratitude for our babies it does still hurt to think that you may not have any more. Please don't beat yourself up for being human - we're entitled to feel sad that having another baby doesn't come as simply as making the decision to have one like it does for most couples.

xx


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## KP (Apr 27, 2004)

Thank you!  I'm feeling more positive now.  Just a bit jealous too I guess.

Annette


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## Tinx (Sep 2, 2005)

I know what you mean about being sad and jealous and everything in between. You are just expressing your true feelings, and as a maternal woman these are only made worse with other peoples pgs. Dont beat yourself up, you are just being honest. We all feel like that, you are not alone. I am over the moon with happiness with our precious dd, but am so wanting a second, we are about to start fet, but its all such a scary and painful rollercoaster. If you know there will be no more tx or babies for you, you are like in a state of mourning. Hope that you are able to let off some steam, have a good cry then feel some sort of peace. Take care and dont feel bad, we are all on your side xx Tinx xx


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## Guest (Mar 24, 2009)

I feel jealous of every pregnant friend or woman I see out and about heavily pregnant or with a new born. I think once you enter the world of pregnancy and babies it opens you up to so many new emotions, some of which don't make us feel too comfortable! It's totally normal. My sister doesn't want anymore children but she says she still gets these twinges of jealousy when any of her friends announce their pregnancies. I think it's a very basic drive to make us have more babies


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## jrhh (Feb 6, 2006)

Hi I feel the same too.

Angry, frustrated, sad and hurt, its all normal hunni so just give yourself time and be gentle on yourself.

Take care and we are all here for you.

Jacks xx


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## aussiegirl (Oct 20, 2004)

I feel the same too  I was totally taken by surprise though when it came round to everyone falling pregnant with their second though because all those "old" emotions came flooding back. certainly not as bad as before i had my son but still upsetting. I think we have a lot of emotional baggage with us due to our fertility journey and even if we have our children, it still creeps up when least expected. I still feel envious of those who fall pregnant at a drop of a hat and do feel angry that we have to go through all these medical procedures to have a baby 

You are not alone in feeling these things  

Andrea x


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## leppyloo (Mar 16, 2009)

Oh yep - I know those feelings!  At least 3 of my friends have TTC for 1 to 2 months!  1 to 2 months!!!  I remember telling a friend in about Dec 2006 that we were trying and she said she might start next year.  Well - her 2nd child is now a toddler!  Those that conceive so easily tend to come out with these lines 'just relax ... if you stop thinking about it - it will probably happen'  

I don't begrudge anyone honestly ... but recently when another friend announced her pregnancy .. I cuddled her and said congrats but I went home and cried.  

Let's hope we all have some happiness by the end of this year



Leppyloo xx


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## ginty2010 (Aug 28, 2007)

I was so 'pleased' to read this thread.  I just bumped into a collegue who told me another collegue was pregnant and when I left her I cried all the way home.  I guess it is the first time it has really hit me since having Imogen last summer and I am going back to work next month.  I think I just assumed that it wouldn't hit me so hard now that I have a child and I was surprised I felt so upset and like you say jealous.  ARRGH  IF is a hard painful world!!

Lots of luck to you all.

Ex


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## Guest (Apr 2, 2009)

Emily, Imogen is just delicious!


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## ginty2010 (Aug 28, 2007)

Thanks Moo!!

Its nice to meet you guys.  Although I am not ready to start treatment yet it is good to know that you are all here.

Good luck with all your treatments.

Emily


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## wishing4miracle (Sep 7, 2006)

well i understand how you are all feeling aswell  

on wednesday i found out my little cousin of 19 is 3months pg and has a habit of booze and cocaine,and a freind of dhs is pg aswell   its like im the person i was before the boys happened.im currently in a nat 2ww that feels like ive just had ivf and on my 2ww for tx   how stupid am i    the nasty side of doesnt want to hear if people are pg in the outside world(people in our real life),i do want to hear about people like us with IF probs but not of those who just fall pg so quick that they prob could sleeping with someone for one time.

main thing i get when i say things with dh about wanting another baby so much is that 'i should be grateful '   i am but i just want another baby and be pg again.so easy for other people but not for us ladies


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## Siobhan1 (Jun 24, 2004)

Hi KP, Emily etc,

How about re-starting this thread http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=111888.0 for Broodies  we used to have a few posters on there but once people started tx & having babies it kind of moved away from what it was meant for which is for ladies who feel like you do.

Hopefully a few others will join you.

Anyone ttc at all, please feel free to join the Hoping for another miracle thread.


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## Guest (Apr 3, 2009)

Have just had a phone call from my youngest sis (nearly 21) who has found out today, after 4 days of feeling sick, that she is pregnant! She had a one night stand with her best mate. She just kept saying sorry to me down the phone as she knows what DP and I are going through. Of course I have told her that that is not her issue and she does not even need to think about that. She is going to abort the baby which I believe to be totally her decision and i will support her through it, but I keep getting these horrible feelings of anger and unfairness.


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## Tinx (Sep 2, 2005)

OMG Moo, how can you find the strength in you to cope with that. I admire you, I am afriad I couldnt be as understanding. Lots of hugs xx


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## Guest (Apr 8, 2009)

Has been a very odd day today. DP and I went to the clinic to sign all the IVF consent forms, all the drugs have arrived and she starts sniffing on monday! On the other hand my little sis has had a very tearful and emotional day as the abortion tablets started to work and she started to bleed heavily this afternoon. Life is full of extremes and opposites sometimes!


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## KP (Apr 27, 2004)

Aw Moo how awful for you. 

Thanks ladies.  It's so much better when you know you're not alone!

I think my main trouble is that we've made the decision not to have any more tx simply because we can't afford it financially and emotionally ...but may just maybe that natural miracle might happen!

Annette


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