# 4th IVF BFN...DE next or try again at 41?



## Springs (Mar 22, 2006)

Hi Ladies,

I have been reading the posts here and on peer support, and they have helped, but I would like some opinions. I know it is ultimately a decision we have to make ourselves , but there are some very wise heads on FF and new viewpoints would be a help! So please feel free to tell me what you think...sorry about the background essay!

I have had 4 fresh IVF and 3 FET. The first cycle Feb 06 was fine (9 embryos all good grades, 2 transferred 7 frozen) unfortunately I felt really ill with the first cycle so we weren't too surprised with the bfn . Then we had natural FET and got a bfp June 06 but this was ectopic and I lost one tube (there was a heartbeat so attempted keyhole became urgent myomectomy). Then hydrosalpinx diagnosed on other tube (big thankyou to the ladies on that board for their threads, although I was only lurking)...further surgery to remove that Oct 06, followed by a poor IVF cycle with lots of immature follies and only 2 embryos good enough to go back (albeit both grade 1 which is their best rating). BFN for that  and subsequent FET from the first ivf cycle  Since losing both tubes, I was unable to have a natural FET as my lining is never thick enough and had two cycles cancelled, the next GEEP was also bfn.  By now I had turned 40  so for our next and supposedly last fresh ivf cycle we had 3 embryos put back. Unfortunately it seems I have PCO but not with the syndrome, so poor response (8 embryos from 20+ follicles, and only 4 fertilised, none good enough to freeze). Another bfn. 

I was devastated, and although we had discussed DE and have booked with Czech for 2008, we decided to have one last go with my eggs aged (just) 41, using a short protocol and better monitoring. Would you believe it, the PCO was still a problem but we had EC a week early after only 8 days of stimming, and got 8 eggs, and 5 fertilized. This time they suggested going to day 3 rather than day 2: all 5 survived as grade 1, with 4 eight-cell and 1 six-cell - three were put back, the 6 cell plus 2 eight-cells and the others frozen.
We all felt positive so you know the shock you get when AF arrives dead on time two days before test day as per every other cycle. My consultant even rang me on test day to check the result, she was so optimistic it would work! I think it only hit me over the weekend (test day was Friday 30/11) and now I'm lost. 

If we hadn't had such good eggs this last ivf I think I would happily have gone ahead with our DE, but now part of me thinks maybe I should have another fresh cycle...
I think I haven't really resolved which I want more, a baby or MY baby and that is a problem. My DH is a total gold brick  and 100% there for me, but wasn't actually that keen on ivf in the first place, so is probably keener on DE at this stage but will support whatever I/we decide to do. 
My dilemma is the timing...we don't have enough time before our DE to try again with my eggs, so would have to reschedule, and join the 6 month queue. But if I get yet another BFN with my eggs then I will be nearly 42 and I know from reading the sites on FF that not all DE are positive (although you can't help expecting them to be), and so am I compromising my chances? When do I give up?
Last but not least is the money factor, and how easy it is to spend thousands of pounds with nothing to show at the end (all our goes have to be privately funded).

HELP!!! Sorry, this has turned into a bit of a blather really, hope someone is still reading and has an opinion. I really respect the strength and determination of those ladies who have been ttc for years and years...and of course some are then successful which gives us all hope. 

thanks for reading, good luck with future efforts! 

Springs


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

Hi springs, i'm sorry i haven't got any advice for you hun   but i didn't want to read and run, sending you loads of   and   for your next cycle (whatever you decide to do) 

pam xx


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## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Dear Springs

I'm sorry to hear about all the problems you've had.       At the end of the day, as you say, only you can know if you are ready to go down the donor egg route but it sounds to me as if you haven't quite reconciled yourself to it yet.  

I know how hard it is with the clock ticking and limited funds, and there is also the question of just how many times you want to put your mind and body through IVF.  However, the one thing I would say is that, as far as I know anyway, time is not such an issue for DE as your chances of success are based on the donor's age not yours  - ie delaying DE shouldn't compromise your chances. Maybe this will help in the decision-making process, at least as far as time issues are concerned.

I was lucky enough to get a BFP with my own eggs at the age of 42 but prior to having that cycle we had similar questions as you to contend with.  Why not come and join us on the Goldies board? Alot of the girls have the same dilemma, and some are having/have had babies using DE so there are people who understand and can tell you about their thoughts and experiences.

Best wishes

Ellie


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## Springs (Mar 22, 2006)

Thanks Saphy and Ellie,

might take your advice and post on the Goldies...

Springs


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