# confused if to try for a sibling ??



## katie O (Apr 13, 2010)

Hi,
Im new to this thread but not new to the site albeit that I havent used it for some time. I was lucky enough to have my little miracle DS after a frozen cycle. Now he is a year old Im seriously thinking about trying for a sibling for him. DH is on the same page as myself. As we all know it takes a long time from the start of ivf to the birth. We are enjoying our DS so much that we would hope that sharing our time with a sibling wouldn't take anything away from him. We had two embies replaced and only DS stayed. However now it opens up a world of questions for us;
If we had two embies last time and only one stayed then if we only put one back it might not work.. 
If we have two embies put back then maybe we could end up with twins (not really what we are wanting) 
It may not work at all and its alot of money to gamble with .. when we could spend that on DS .....
I know that if we go ahead with this then we have to go ahead whole hearted and prepaired for all or nothing but I was wondering if any one had some words of wisdom   x


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## Belle0603 (Nov 7, 2010)

Hi,

I'm in a VERY similar situation myself! We also had 2 out back on our cycle and only one baby at the end, a boy also! Like you I'm thinking of a little brother or sister but twins would not be ideal and we'd have to do the whole cycle again!!

Difficult isn't it?


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## michaelaeloise (Mar 7, 2011)

Hi - wow! so strange to see people in the same situation!!

We had 2 embryos put back which resulted in our little boy - this time around we were only left with 2 embryos so the decision was practically made for us, plus i had it in my head that it took 2 last time to make one so there was no questioning.
Now we are waiting for our scan to see how many are in there...... either way we will be delighted if all goes well but i can imagine twins with a toddler will be very difficult!! xx


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## katie O (Apr 13, 2010)

Hi, 
oh dear I just spent half hour replying clicked on spell check and the my post dissapeared. boooo...

michaelaeloise how wonderful congratulations, please let me know when you have had your scan id love to hear from you.. how did you come to your decision to go for it did you have the same confusing thoughts as me ? 

belle/anna, I still havent really come to a desicion I cant seem to get to a straight forward solution to my reservations or come up with a logical solution. Do you all have the same reservations (for want of a better word) as me or which ones do you have ?


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## michaelaeloise (Mar 7, 2011)

Katieo - thanks!! i will keep you updated  Yes it was a very confusing time although deep down i knew i wanted to put 2 back because of last time theres that niggle that 'what if we end up with more than one, or a difficult pregnancy'. Along with our previous cycle outcome, the fact that we have paid for this cycle was another factor for me wanting to give it the best go we could, and i believed it was right for us to put 2 back, a sibling for our son would be great, twins, triplets, quads.... we'll deal with it lol and it will be a big blessing!!

I hope you can come to decision xx


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## katie O (Apr 13, 2010)

yes your are right twins or a singleton will be a blessing, I am also thinking if we did go for it again that we would put two back but the difficult pregnancy does scare me a bit but hey its only 9 months isnt it.. 
any news on your scan michaelaeloise?

annarosie I know what you mean it is an amazing gift to have a sibling, my sister has 3 lo's and its lovely to see them all playing together. What is a UK TS ?


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## michaelaeloise (Mar 7, 2011)

Hi Katie O - its such a hard decision isnt it! but like you say its only 9 months, or less if more than one!

Our scan is on friday, it cant come soon enough x


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## panda123 (May 27, 2013)

Hi guys

Never posted on here before but your post pretty much mentions all the thoughts/concerns my husband and I have been having too!! Our little girl turned 2 last month and we are due to start DR for our next ICSI cycle on 6th June. We had 2 embryos put in on our fresh and frozen cycles and have one beautiful healthy little girl. 

Its not been an easy decision to try for a sibling. We feel so lucky and blessed to have our daughter it almost feels we are pushing our luck a bit in trying again and sometimes feel we should be thankful for what we have. The thought of spending thousands of pounds of something that may not work when we could be spending it to benefit our wee one is also difficult. I worry about the stress/side effects of the treatment as well and don't want that to affect DD. 

On the other hand I think it would be wonderful for DD to have a wee brother or sister and the fact it would be a benefit to her is a major factor in our decision to try again. Also the treatment only lasts a few weeks and I'm hoping a toddler will be a good distraction and stop me over-worrying!! 

At the moment we are planning a single embryo transfer (although we did last time too and ended up transferring 2 because the quality wasn't great). I really worry about the risks of twin pregnancy and now that we have a child to consider we're keen to do SET. Also, having had one newborn I can't imagine coping with 2 at once!!! However, we had two embryos transferred in both our previous cycles and had a singleton pregnancy. It's soooo difficult! So many different factors to consider. Our current plan is to aim for a single embryo transfer but if there are problems with quality we change our mind at the last minute!

Its really reassuring to hear other people with similar situations and dilemmas so thank you! 

Sorry KatieO - not really got any words of wisdom!! Good luck with your decision! x


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## michaelaeloise (Mar 7, 2011)

Hi KatieO

Totally forgot to update you. We had our scan last week and theres a little baby measuring perfect for dates. The consultant found another sac so i have to go back in 2 weeks to check this out. I had the same last time so i doubt it will come to anything. 

I hope you are ok x


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## katie O (Apr 13, 2010)

wow panda are you reading my thoughts haha, you summarise everything in my head perfectly. It is really great and comforting to know that im not the only one thinking these things over. 
I think we are going to try for another baby soon but time is usually my issue as dh is military and due to go to ''the desert'' for 9 months very shortly so it doesn't leave us much time to make/put in plans into practise. I think that we will have two put back in the hope we get a singleton. Being military we live in another country at the moment and with that is a lack of friends and family support simply due to the distance. I think if we had twins it would mean moving back home for me and unfortunately only having dh around at wkends and on leave...   
hmmm decisions decisions 
I will get there soon    it has been said before, that I overthink situations and this occasion is no exception


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## katie O (Apr 13, 2010)

that's fabulous news so pleased for you michaelaeloise congratulations I can imagine your feeling anxious about the scan for the other sac I hope all goes well for you. xx


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