# Possible Match



## snapster (Jun 21, 2014)

Hey all,

Looking for some advice regarding a possible match myself & wife have with a baby pink. We have only been approved 3 weeks and was told we have a possible match only last week. Now we have the LO's SW coming out to visit on Wednesday and well we are looking for some advice regarding questions we should be asking. Not really had time to think, to excited to think straight. Also if everything was to go smoothly on Wednesday with LO's SW and we are recommended to go forward what are the time scales we would be looking at regarding matching panel, intros ect? Thanks in advance for any advice.


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## DRocks (Sep 13, 2013)

Congrats, have you looked through the babies CPR?
This should highlight any questions that need asking.
Is it only yourselves being considered?


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## snapster (Jun 21, 2014)

thanks for reply, not saw cpr yet. Our SW has had a look at more info on the LO and assures us there is nothing standing out that is worrying. We know the reasons she is up for adoption, thats about all we know at this point. We were only told on friday about this and i guess we will know more info on Wednesday.


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## millie:) (Feb 12, 2013)

Congratulations I bet your head is in a spin for sw I guess the questions would depend on age of little one are they meeting milestones etc  and CPR report you can ask questions from that there history and medical background any siblings birth parents history.  timings wise it varies depending on available matching panel dates for us we met child's sw and fc in same week met medical advisor three weeks later had matching panel two weeks later on Monday and started intros on Friday brought little one home on following Thursday ours was very quick because fc were going on holiday and didn't want little one to be Placed in respite care.  good luck and you will know more questions when you see CPR oh and maybe ask have they good attachment to fc because if they do then its a good sign that little one will develop good attachments to yourselves. Exciting times ahead x


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## snapster (Jun 21, 2014)

millie:) said:


> Congratulations I bet your head is in a spin for sw I guess the questions would depend on age of little one are they meeting milestones etc and CPR report you can ask questions from that there history and medical background any siblings birth parents history. timings wise it varies depending on available matching panel dates for us we met child's sw and fc in same week met medical advisor three weeks later had matching panel two weeks later on Monday and started intros on Friday brought little one home on following Thursday ours was very quick because fc were going on holiday and didn't want little one to be Placed in respite care. good luck and you will know more questions when you see CPR oh and maybe ask have they good attachment to fc because if they do then its a good sign that little one will develop good attachments to yourselves. Exciting times ahead x


Defo exciting times , thanks for your advice


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Congratulations! As others have said most questions will come from the CPR as sometimes things contradict each other & time lines don't add up. In our meeting the only questions we had were like this, all the others the family finder covered when she spoke to us about LO.

If not covered other things to add to those already mentioned could be proposed contact with bf, medical & future medical dates, ate they meeting other families, proposed time lines for matching & intros.

As regards time lines it does depend on MP availability. We were linked in Jun but no MP available until Sep but luckily they then added an extra date in Aug. We have life appreciation on the 5th (could have been sooner but advised to leave it later as LO's change so much) MP on 12th & intros start 18th.

Good luck!


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## Dawn7 (Sep 10, 2013)

Exciting times Snapster 

I agree with the above posts about questions, they're mainly based on the LO's CPR, we had a number of questions but child's sw and family finder spoke to us first. Told us everything, what they knew, what's happening going forward, contact arrangements and even mentioned how intros would likely go. They actually answered all our questions and we felt awful that we didn't have anything else to ask.

Even once linked, there's still lots of waiting around to do  Although u do go and visit medical advisor and foster carers and also get to finish any jobs u need to do around the house, purchase items for potential LO's and make the dvd and photo album. We're just trying to keep busy until MP, hoping this helps time fly.

We were approved in May, approached about LO's the week before and linked late May, early June and we have MP in Aug with intros starting hopefully on the 19th Aug. Not too long really, just feels it and we were linked quickly so we cant moan.

Hope this helps and good luck with the link, hoping this is ur LO x


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## Petite One (Jun 1, 2011)

Snapster I was wondering this too.

Are there any questions that people wished they'd asked the child's social worker or foster carer when they 1st met them? 
Was there any questions that you felt the CPR didn't include, although I know each CPR is different?

How did you answer why you felt that child was right for you as it must be hard to be put into words?
Also were there any difficult questions you were given?
Lastly how did you prepare your home for the 1st time child's social worker and foster carer came to your house?

We spend so long preparing for adoption approval that getting to matching panel seems like an age away.  

Thanks


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## millie:) (Feb 12, 2013)

You know its a hard question petite one I personally don't think there were a huge amount of questions I needed to ask fc she gave us her mobile number and I would text questions like what type of bedding does little one sleep in etc and she would answer usually phone us up and tell us all about how our little one was getting on she was a fab fc. And its difficult how is this child right for us we said along the lines there was nothing concerning or worrying in the CPR and that he seems a perfect match with age etc. When little ones sw came I just tidied and made sure house was childproofed and the same with fc, the fc also pointed out things we did not twig on safety wise like covering DVD players and we needed an extra gate where we have two steps in the garden as its split level. funy though I found the matching process a hell of a lot harder then the adoption process because I think your already getting feelings and emotions about little one and I was terrified about things going wrong but now that parts all over in hindsight everyone wants the match to work and it was just my overactive brain being a bit paranoid x


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Here are some of the questions we asked about our lo he was 8 months at the time of first meeting.


How is his attachment with his FC
Has he any other medical conditions that are not on the CPR
Is he crawling yet?
What milk is he on?
Has he had his goodbye contact with bf?
Is there any contact with siblings and will this continue?
Is there anything in the family medical history we should know about?
Are there any concerns regarding his behaviour or development?
What is his routine?
Does he go to play group? 
What does he enjoy?
What size nappies is he in?
Is he using a dummy?
Is he big or small for his age?
Then questions we thought of from reading his CPR

She wanted to look around the house and saw his nursery, she also asked us why him and what we could give him.


Found him July, sw visit August, We were in a competitive match so took five days to get the yes, pre match panel begin sept, match panel mid sept, intros end sept.

Hope this helps and good luck x


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## Petite One (Jun 1, 2011)

Thanks folks.  

There's so much to think about for the match to work and that really seems to be initially based on how adopters connect with the child's social worker and the foster carer in that first meeting!

I think as the CPR's vary so much it's important to examine what's not been written too, but that's not always easy to do.


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Fab things already cover in this thread. I think an important thing to ask your FC is about how they sooth/react to lo when they are distressed. I know you will develop your own style and ways once you get to know them but in the early days its best to keep to as similar as possible. We didn't really see much distress during intros but when he moved home he grieved -quite rightly and he needed familiar techniques/familiar songs/bottle/blankie etc.

Also how they present at certain times e.g. What are their tired signs, scared, anxious (if they know  . Our little man bounced when anxious with a huge smile on his face. You would have thought he was happy but it took us a little while to realise that he was in fact  quite dis-regulated and needed our help to bring him back to normality. 

The FC often bring the match to life but to honest they could have told us he had 3 heads by then, we were smitten! BUT we had an amazing sw who we trusted explicitly. she was exceptionally thorough and had done a huge amount of digging and prep work through his CPR before she even told us about him. 

Good luck


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## snapster (Jun 21, 2014)

Macgyver said:


> Here are some of the questions we asked about our lo he was 8 months at the time of first meeting.
> 
> How is his attachment with his FC
> Has he any other medical conditions that are not on the CPR
> ...


Everything went well with us  and we are now moving forward to a matching panel date . Regarding asking the the little ones SW questions, we found they covered everything that was quoted above. It was a really relaxed meeting and that put our nerves at ease straight away.


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Congratulations on your match snapster


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## snapster (Jun 21, 2014)

Just a quick update. My wife and i went attended our matching panel today and were unanimously given the thumbs up on moving forward to intros for a little girl aged 15 months. We are both extremely excited about having our first Christmas with our LO. It has been a whirl wind year for us as we only attended our prep group on the 12 sept last year and nearly a year to the day we were matched. 

This site has provided real comfort and guidance through any uncertain times and will continue to do so i imagine for anyone who needs it.


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## Barbados Girl (Jul 7, 2012)

Lovely, congrats!!!


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## Primmer (May 1, 2012)

Congrats - thanks for the update. How lovely that you will have little one at home in time for Christmas.


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## time2bmum (May 26, 2014)

Hey hon,

This might help too when it comes to questions for the sw - it's a big checklist on my blog that was compiled on AdoptionUk http://startingati.blogspot.co.uk/p/what-to-ask-foster-carers.html

/links


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## snapster (Jun 21, 2014)

time2bmum said:


> Hey hon,
> 
> This might help too when it comes to questions for the sw - it's a big checklist on my blog that was compiled on AdoptionUk http://startingati.blogspot.co.uk/p/what-to-ask-foster-carers.html


Thanks for this, that will be a big help


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