# do i love my cat too much?



## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

I am worried my relationship with my cat is too intense. I don't think it's good for the cat! But she's so sweet. She's filling a place where my child should be and isn't - i love her to bits, but, she's just a cat. It's just so hard to treat her like a cat, when i want to be a mum. 

She's just come to get a cuddle before i put her to bed. She knows it's bedtime in a few minutes. She's climbed up on the desk and rolled over for a belly rub.


The trouble is DH wants to put her in a cattery so we can go on holiday and i'm really worried she will be very stressed being away from me if i don't back off a bit. 
Is it fair to her to fuss over her the whole time because i am needing something to mother? Should i be 'cruel to be kind' and chuck her out in the garden instead? (usual result if i don't go out with her is she tries to get back in, though she will sometimes go out on her own) 

am i making her too dependent? or doesn't it matter? 

I'm off to put her to bed now. Don't worry, i shan't be brushing her teeth or reading her a story. 
Though she likes it if i sing to her.


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## Redjenner (Mar 6, 2011)

Hi Goldbunny, 

I remember your name from when I did my last treatment I think, around this time last year?. I've been off the ff radar for a bit getting my head around waiting for tx no 3.  Still don't feel brave enough yet. 

I'm 42 too and with only one of my three cats left I do really know how you feel.  I even got a tortoise and I tell people (jokingly?) that atleast there will be someone to inherit when we pass away as they live so long.  But it's all a cover up I suppose. 

The overwhelming feeling of love with no place to go is so strong when trying to conceive and through treatment can make us want to burst.  

Cats will only accept the amount of affection they want and then they let us know we are just at that their mercy really.  So don't get hung up too much. 

Sure your cat will find the cattery different but it's not for ever and some are really very special.  Besides we all need a holiday and if you feel the need you can be super fussy when you get back. 

So my answer is .... so long as you're not killing with kindness in the over feeding etc,. then hugs, cuddles and petting will be allowed as much as the cat is prepared to take - if you're both happy then I don't see there is a problem.  

Although if you start posting photos of cats in nappies we'll have to rethink.  

Redjenner x

p.s typing this Andy, my cat - I didn't name him he is a rescue has come up to my room and insisting on affection by rubbing my hand from the keyboard - and we think we have control!....


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## kandykane (Nov 17, 2008)

oh no, it's not possible to love your cat too much    my cat slept with me (often on my pillow) until the day she died and I hand fed her tasty titbits regularly, and rubbed her tummy and loved her with all my heart! Cats are great! 


If you don't want to put her in a cattery have you considered getting a pet sitter? We used to use one for our cat and I'm sure she was happier staying in her own home with someone coming in to see her rather than being shoved in a strange cattery.


kk


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## Sarapd (Dec 4, 2012)

You can never love your cat too much!  Have you read 'A Streetcat named Bob'?  It is an absolute must for any cat lover.
I'm off to bed with my cat Onion now!  She sends you lots of purrrrrs.
Sara. xx


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## misskitten (Oct 31, 2010)

Hello Goldbunny, 

I don't have cats at the moment but I've had many in the past and I'm very interested in cat & dog behaviour. 

I don't think you can make your cat too dependent by giving her lots of attention at all! You gain so much from your relationship with her, you really don't need to feel guilty about that! After all that is why we love to have pets share our lives. 

Suddenly giving her less attention isn't going to make her stay in a cattery any easier. She will miss you anyway but the change in living arrangements is probably the most stressful aspect of this.

If you think she will really freak out in a cattery or you aren't happy with the thought of her in there, maybe you could make other arrangements like have a neighbour pop in to feed her, or pay a pet sitter to pop in each day, as she would probably feel more secure in her usual environment. Sorry if this sounds obvious. If you do need to use a cattery please don't feel guilty about it. I previously put my two cats in a cattery in the past (they weren't that impressed but soon got over it!)

enjoy your holiday


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## Helen78 (Oct 17, 2010)

Hi Goldbunny,

I agree with everyone else, you can't love a cat too much. If they don't want affection they will walk away. I have 2 mardy puddy tats, one of which would love it if I became bedbound!!  

I used to use a company called petpals (I think they are a national company...?) and they visit your house and feed/fuss the cat and would take her to vet etc if required. However, after some searching I found a cattery I really like so I know they are safe and contained when I'm away. They have really caring staff with low turnover and a special building for elderly cats and special large pens with heaters in the cold and special windows that partially open when its warm   lol

Do some research re catterys/cat feeders and get on your hols mrs!!  

H xx


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## Nordickat (Feb 6, 2009)

This has made me giggle so thank you. I´m giggling because of the familiarity of feeling its too much love. Sorry to gatecrash as a dog lover allergic to cats    Hanging my head in shame here   

Cats (or dogs) don´t have the mental capacity to get ´too attached´as we do. Chucking her out in the garden would make you both miserable so enjoy your cuddles instead. I have no doubt she´ll sulk once you pick her up from the cattery but animals don´t cut their noses off to spite their faces, so she´ll be back for more attention soon enough.

I was talking to a (questionably  ) well balanced grandmother yesterday and she says her dog, a massive bearded pointer, is her baby and they plan their lives around her so its not just childless people who love their pets so much, and I suspect even when you are a mummy you´ll still dote on your gorgeous cat too. Pets are after all a part of our family. 

Katxxx (who has an 18 kg lump of a dog trying to get on her knee?!?!)


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