# Surprise natural sibling after DE daughter (she knows) any issues? Advice?



## wonka (Jul 27, 2009)

Hi All, 

We are expecting a boy unexpectedly - all natural and totally overjoyed etc. 

Our daughter knows we used a donor egg to help us conceive, we have been discussing her birth story regularly in age-appropriate language from the start. 

My concern is when DS arrives I don't want relatives saying 'oh he looks so much like his mum' in front of her. Maybe it won't happen- and I think DD looks like us both anyway- but thinking that it might be worth briefing my family on not making references to perceived inherited similarities. I don't like that kind of talk anyway, it can feel quite inhibiting to be told you have 'your mum's nose' when you simply have your own. Futhermore, it is very subjective. Of course strangers / friends might still make unwelcome remarks, but I think it's those that families make that can make the most impact. 

Also thinking about possible questions that might come up during the process of the sibling dynamic. 

Any advice/experience from DE/S who also have non-DE families welcome 

Thanks!


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## ivyf (Sep 29, 2011)

Wonka what wonderful news. I can't help as ours is our one and only but there's someone on the parenting after Infertility de/ds thread that had the same, you'll find the thread further down the page from yours. I can't remember who it is though so you'll have to read through it. http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=335988.msg6288239#msg6288239


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## wonka (Jul 27, 2009)

Hi Ivyf

Thank you kindly, I will follow the thread you suggested.

Best wishes, 

Wonka


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