# Hello, I'm new!



## tulips (Dec 28, 2007)

Hiya everyone  

I have to confess that I have been a bit of a lurker on this forum for a while and I thought it was about time I posted!

By way of introduction, I am 31 (clock beginning to tick ever so slightly more loudly!) and I live just outside Newry, though not from here originally. DH and I have been ttc baby number 1 for 18 months with no success whatsoever, not even the hint of a positive hpt.  I have had preliminary tests carried out with my GP as has DH (also 31). Thankfully, his SA came back normal which is good news. GP referred us to the RVH and we had our first appointment in September. Our consultant (Dr. Traub) is a real straight talker but, as I suppose is often the case, I was a bit overwhelmed by meeting him etc and only thought of all the questions I wanted answered after we left   which led me to google issues re. fertility etc and led me to this site!! Anyway, DH had another SA done at the RVH which also came back normal. I also had an ultrasound done which seems to have been OK. Dr Traub doesn't think I have any problems with ovulation as I have regular periods etc and he didn't seem concerned that my afs are always very short and light (I should be thankful, I know, but it's just another thing to worry about   ) Anyway,we are now on the waiting list for another referral apparently and he reckons the next step is examination of my tubes to see if there are any blockages. No idea what happens after that although he did mention IVF which scares me a bit. From reading these sites, seems that the waiting lists are horrendous but what can a girl do??!

Sorry, that's a bit long winded and boring but just wanted to give you a general picture, lol!!

Anyway, hoping to "meet" some others who are going through the same thing as me as I sometimes feel like I'm going crazy having no one to talk to. Much as I love DH (who is the best husband anyone could have), he is an eternal optimist and doesn't really like talking about the "what ifs" and, for some reason that I can't really explain, I just can't bring myself to talk to family or friends about this whole ttc malarkey, not sure why but it makes me feel like a bit of a failure iykwim. Plus I know that if I try to open up to someone I am close to, I am liable to burst into tears (only DH has had the privilege of seeing the dams burst so far thankfully!!)

Anyway, looking forward to getting to know y'all and maybe making some cyber friends. Here's hoping that 2008 brings good news and beautiful babies to us all xxx


----------



## Mrs AB (Nov 3, 2007)

Hi Tulips

Nice to meet you.  You are indeed correct - you will meet a lot girls on this site in a similar position to you and although it doesn't appear to be much of a comfort - it is reassuring to know that others are in the same boat.  You should check out the NI Thread - we all tend to 'meet' up and talk about all sorts (and I mean all sorts - some of the topics of conversation would certainly raise eyebrows!).  Unfortunately, tis a little quiet on the NI Thread at the mo - two FFs (Fertilty Friends) have suffered a bit of a blow (BFN after recently undergoing IVF treatment) but I'm sure it will pick up again soon.

Whilst, I can be quite up and down about the whole infertility stuff I do enjoy a bit of banter - and to be honest without it I would go insane!  You can check out my thread 'Bummer' too if you like - you can read all the gory details of my story so far.....

Sounds like you might have 'unexplained infertilty' - unforunately if that is the case it appears that the only route to follow is IVF.  It's strange how we can quickly adapt to situations that we faind ourselves in - the tought of IVF petrified me and now?  Now I say, bring it on!  I've got nothing to lose and potentially everything to gain!  Should be starting my treatment in March/April.  We're going private cos the NHS waiting list is soooo long - but it all depends on the Health Board you are affiliated with.  On some Health Boards the waiting lists are only 8 months.  Do you know which Health Board you are associated with?  You see, the Boards provide the actual funding for IVF treatment which in turn dictates the length of the waiting lists.

Hope I haven't rambled on too much.  I know that all of this is probably overwhelming for you but you will slowly start to get to grips with it all - I promise!

I've blown you some bubbles, by way of a nice warm welcome!

Anita


----------



## shoppingqueen (Nov 22, 2007)

Hi there

Welcome to the site!!!  Like you I did a lot of reading on this site & have only started posting the last few wks.  IT'S BEEN A TERRIFIC HELP!  Sorry you've had to join us tho.  This whole journey can be so lonely & isolating at times even with the support of DH & family & really only those going thru it understand & it so helps.

I so hope you benefit as much as I have from here.  Like you my DH is Mr Positive & it does my head in at times as I feel like I'm losing the plot!  I know he's hurting too but he isn't as emotional or as impatient as me!

Its good that at long last you've seen Doc Traub - he is straight talking & a bit of a character but he's been there a long time & know what he's at.  Good news he checking ur tubes first thing - I was on treatment a yr b4 they did that & discovered one blocked!  
I know its easy to say but at least you're being proactive now & having tests etc & thats a positive thing.

Wishing u lots of luck

xxx


----------



## tulips (Dec 28, 2007)

Aww, thanks for the nice warm welcome girls and for the bubbles, although I'm not sure what they're all about lol! It is lovely to know that I'm not all alone, feeling more hopeful already!!

Not sure which board I am with (my GP is in Newry now though, would that make me Southern Board, is there such a thing??!!) so no idea about waiting lists to be honest (one of the many questions I thought of asking AFTER my appointment with Dr Traub of course!). Shopping Queen, are you also with Dr Traub then?

TBH, I am not entirely sure if I would have the courage or strength to go down the IVF route. On one hand, it is hard enough dealing with af turning up every month as it is without the added pressure of "this could be our only hope" but on the other hand I know it can only help the situation can't it?

Can you tell me what sort of money you'd be talking about if you go private Anita, how long that would be likely to take and what sort of waiting lists there'd be if you went private? It is something I've thought of and I do have a friend who went for private IVF a few yrs ago (successfully I should add and with gorgeous twin boys to prove it ) and I know I should contact her and get all the details but, like I said before, I can't bring myself to admit to anyone (even my friends) that we need help yet for some insane reason  So sorry for all the questions and the general rambling, it's just so good to "talk" to someone finally...I should have posted ages ago, lol!

Right girls, would love to return the favour and blow bubbles right back at ya but no idea how to do it so you're gonna have to guide this poor lost soul through the world that is FF!!

Tulips xx

ps Think I will manage to find my way into the NI thread though and I will also check out your thread Anita - dh has just gone out for the night with his friends so I have plenty of time to have a nosy lol!


----------



## Mrs AB (Nov 3, 2007)

Oh, for goodness sake!  These newbies - I swear!  Blowing bubbles is a way to wish someone well on FF.  You will see 'click to blow' under all our names - you can't do it when you're sending a reply has to be as you're reading the thread.  

Now, as for going private - you can go private with RVH - you can expect to be placed on a waiting list that lasts anything from 2 - 8 months - apparently the waiting list is longer depending on the popularity of the consultant - to be honest, from the opinions of the other girls on the board, RVH sucks.  I do not have first hand experience of this but have heard about files being lost and the admin being shocking and not being able to speak to anyone.  There is also a private fertility clinic in Belfast called Origins, it's near Stormont.  That's where I had my initial consultation - they gave me an appointment within 2 weeks.  At RVH you can expect to wait a number of months.  There are no waiting lists at Origins to begin treatment - you simply phone them on the first day of your AF.

BTW you can go private and register for NHS treatment at the same time - going private doesn't cancel you out for NHS treatment.  

My initial consultation cost £335 and the treatment will cost £3,500 - this doesn't include drugs (drugs will cost anything from £500-£1,00).  

Expensive?  Yes.  A little shocking?  Yes.  But if you have to go down that road, you'll get over it!  I had to pick my DHs jaw off the ground when we were told!  You know what men are like when it comes to money.  

Ask away Tulips.  Ask away!

Anita


----------



## tulips (Dec 28, 2007)

Right Anita,

Probably NOT the question you were expecting but where the hell is the "click to blow" link? I have just clicked on everything I can see below/above/anywhere in the vicinity of your name and nada!! Am I just too stupid to be using this site


----------



## tulips (Dec 28, 2007)

someone is reading these posts    the "click to blow" button just suddenly appeared...have you retrieved them yet Anita? lol!!!


----------



## Mrs AB (Nov 3, 2007)

Yep, indeedy.  I now have 360 big ones!  Well done me little petal - you're gettin ' the hang of it now!  Better not mention the chat room to you just yet - don't wanna overload you!!!!


----------



## Mrs AB (Nov 3, 2007)

Oops, make that 365!  Your generousity is overwhelming me!


----------



## tulips (Dec 28, 2007)

I know, sorry about that, got a little carried away there with the excitement of finding out how to do it!!!

Now that that's sorted, had to read back over your other reply. The £££ is a bit of a shock but it's good to know that there is no waiting list with Origins. You must be very excited, knowing that you are starting your treatment in a couple of months...wishing you lots and lots of luck with that. Just think, by this time next year you could have your little baba in your arms xx

Not sure if I can convince dh that we should go private yet though. Eternal optimist that he is, he just says every month "but it'll happen next month", bless him. He doesn't have the impatience that I suffer from, lucky sod   and he's probably not quite as extravagant either!

Oooohh, so much to think about. I have even thought about adoption as an alternative to going down the ivf road but I suppose there's something inside all of us that wants to hold our own little creation   And then there is always the little tiny smidgen of hope that maybe we might actually suddenly manage to conceive naturally....hey ho, nobody said life was easy!! 

Ok, I shall ramble no more..I have half an eye on "Meet the Parents, part 2" - v.v.funny!! xx


----------



## shoppingqueen (Nov 22, 2007)

Hi Tulips

Sent you a PM there.  

SQ

xx


----------



## Fionab (Aug 30, 2006)

Tulips, welcome to the site, you can only blow bubbles after you have posted a few times so you weren't imagining that it suddenly appeared!!!

We have had private IVF in Royal and it is around £2300 plus drugs which are usually around £500.  The Purgeon injections are the really expensive part of the drugs (stimms part of treatment).  If you are with Royal then they you can be added onto the NHS list for IVF which is around 1 year (ICSI is longer) for the Southern board (or whatever it is called now).  The board/trust pays for 3 treatments per month so you can usually work out how long it will be from your position on the list.

IVF is a hard road but then so is the whole infertility road.  Disappointments are hard to deal with especially as you haven't told everyone and are trying to carry on as normal.  I found it good to speak with some people but we haven't told all our family.

Fiona


----------



## beanzie (Nov 26, 2007)

Hi Tulip

I've been lurking as well for a while now.  I've just started the ICSI path with Origin.  The treatment is a bit more expensive than RVH but there's waiting lists for everything in RVH.  DH got a SA done privately in RVH and it took them nearly 3 weeks to get the results back.

Origin have been great - they give you loads of time to ask questions and you don't feel rushed.  I started D/R 2 days ago and its been fine - so far no side effects. 

Good luck.

Oons


----------



## tulips (Dec 28, 2007)

Hi Shoppingqueen,

Sent you a pm back,

Thanks


----------



## tulips (Dec 28, 2007)

Hello Fiona and Oons, thanks for your replies and welcomes - it's a very welcoming site I have to say x

Fiona, I had drafted a fairly lengthly response to your message but I've either accidentally sent it as a pm to you (!!) or else it has just disappeared into cyber space lol! I see that both of you ladies are having treatment atm - best of luck to you both, I hope they result in your much wanted bundles of joy xxx

Seems that lots of girls are going privately - the waiting lists in the RVH for going private still seem pretty long though, maybe Origin is the way to go? How do you go about getting a referral for Origin? Is it through your GP? And do they just do the same as the RVH re testing you etc? Girls, sorry for all the questions, I am just so clueless about all this stuff. Thanks for putting up with me


----------



## beanzie (Nov 26, 2007)

Hi Tulips

http://www.originfertilitycare.com/your-first-visit/

This link will take you to Origins website. Down load the referral letter and get your GP to sign it all you have to do is post it back.

When do you get your tubes examined? Going private ain't cheap, we just shelled out £4750 before Christmas - hopefully it'll be worth it. 

It easier to make decisions when you know what the problem is.


----------



## tulips (Dec 28, 2007)

Almost 5 grand, certainly not cheap   but as you say, hopefully it will be worth every penny.

No idea when the tubes are getting checked. Still waiting for another referral letter but phoned the Royal a few days ago and was told it will probably be March before I see the consultant again but that I'm on the waiting list (not sure what all that means?!)

Just wondering if I should get as much done at the RVH as poss so that I don't have to pay for loads of tests at Origins if we choose to go there but maybe it doesn't even work like that   Will the RVH let Origin see all our test results etc?

(Sent ya some bubbles!)


----------



## beanzie (Nov 26, 2007)

Tulips
As long as you're under 35 I'd get as much done in the RVH as possible.  You can get a full copy of your file for £50.  

Hope you've  a great New Year's Eve.
Oons
Ps I'll try to send some bubbles to you


----------



## weeza82 (Dec 14, 2007)

Hey Tulips

I am new here too and just wanted to say hello. My Dh used to tbe the positive one but has totally bottomed out over the festive period. Christmas day was a nightmare, the first time I had seen him so low. Heres hoping 2008 isn't as hard a s 2007.    

Weeza


----------



## Dahlia (Oct 29, 2007)

Hallo and welcome to FF Tulips  ,

Come and join us on the NI girls thread.

Sorry to read your going through this at the minute - it is a lonely game this infertility lark. 

Dahlia x


----------

