# Five embryos failed thawing today - none left and desperate



## Jocham72 (Jun 17, 2011)

I am not sure I can go on.
Our last five embryos in frozen storage were all thawed today in an attempt to get them to blastocysts.  All of them failed at the first thawing stage and now we are left with nothing.  A whole year of 4 IUI's and 3 failed IVF cycles and we are back to square one.  I don't think I have ever felt so desolate.  I want to keep trying but having already spent £10K and used a lot of my mental strength I am not sure I can - but the thought of giving up just kills me......help.


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## lilyisabel (Jul 21, 2011)

Jocham

I am so sorry to hear that none survived the thaw and understand just how awful you must feel. I had my three blasts not survive last month which we totally weren't expecting. It was far far worse than the failed cycle and took dh and I quite some time to get over it. Don't make any hasty decisions tonight you need some time to get over the shock of that awful phone call. Take some time out, cuddle your dd and then see how you feel in a week or so. I'd definitely recommend trying to get a follow up appointment as soon as possible, we had ours within a week of the failed thaw and that really helped us process the whole situation.

Take care and  , I'm so sorry you're going through this.
L x


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## Jocham72 (Jun 17, 2011)

Thank you for your reply - and sorry to hear about your recent failure.  It's just devastating isn't it, and so unexpected like you say.  This has been far worse than my failed attempt last time where at least the embryos survived the lab.  Our consultant has been amazing - but like you say, not a good time to be making rash decisions. Good luck to you in the future and so many thanks for you reply - it meant a lot.  Kim x


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## lilyisabel (Jul 21, 2011)

Kim 

One of my friends said to me when ours didn't survive that we felt so awful because our hopes had been crushed without ever really having a chance of success which is just so sad and unfair. She's a psychologist and to me it really made sense what she said and keeping that in mind helped me work through feeling so low.

I hope the next stage of your journey brings you happiness  keep us posted - everyone's very friendly on secondary infertility 

Lx


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## Jocham72 (Jun 17, 2011)

That makes perfect sense.  Today I feel a lot of anger as well as upset.  Only one out of 10 embryos frozen survived being thawed over the two most recent cycles.  How can that be right? And the one that did survive wasn't a good one - they said 'it was doing something' but clearly it wasn't viable after I had heavy bleeding 24 hours after it was transferred.
We've spoken to the head clinician at the clinic we used and he said we've just been unlucky.  
I don't think I've felt so low - I was 40 a few weeks ago and the window of opportunity for me is closing - coupled with a DH who isn't as keen as me to carry on (finances are a problem with going again to add to the mix).  I feel so alone even though I have some wonderful friends and family.  Thanks for your support, it means a lot.  K x


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