# One miracle, 4 failures. Time to let go of our dream?



## millymouse (May 27, 2010)

I have been holding back from posting anything for months because I feel like I am being so ungrateful for what I have. Thing is, we always dreamed and planned and tried to have a brood but this is a broken dream now.

After conceiving on our second IVF, we were told that any future pregnancies would be easy. I have just had 3rd failed IVF cycle since then and am just feeling so desperately sad and angry that we were given false hope. And everyone we know is pregnant with number 2 or 3, which just makes me want to bury my head in the sand! It is so painful.

I know we are so incredibly lucky to have our DD and I am grateful every day but I just can't let go of my dream and am so desperate for her not to be an only child. Please don't judge me as selfish if you are reading this! I know so well the pain of not being able to get pregnant. And I am so sorry if this upsets anyone.

I just wondered if there was anyone out there in the same position as me? And whether anyone might be able to guide me? Is this time up give it up or should we test for immunes, hidden infections etc. and get back on the roller coaster?

Thanks for reading x


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## Mrsball (May 10, 2013)

Hi. 
Sorry I can't be of much help as I can't relate. I just had my first BFN a few weeks ago. But I wanted to pass something in that someone gave to me and is helping me. 
A book called ivf an emotional companion by Brigid moss 

It's 22 different ladies stories. All different situations but just really emphasising that no matter what - they were all ok in the end. 

I'm going to be completely honest with you - before I read one ladies story about secondary IF/wanting sibling I prob was one of these people that thought I was more unfortunate to have none. But after reading her story it put it in whole different perspective for me. And I just want to say I'm sorry for the pain you are feeling and I hope you will get through this and get an outcome that makes you happy x x x


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## millymouse (May 27, 2010)

Hi MrsBall,

Thanks so much for your kind words and generosity. I am very touched that you took the time to respond when your story is very different to mine. I am sorry to hear of your BFN, I hope that you can find a way forward that leads to success. I will def check out the book. It is easy to get tunnel vision about your own infertility and forget it comes in so many different forms and that people's pain is not quantifiable.

Best wishes for all your endeavours xx


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## Mrsball (May 10, 2013)

Thank you. 
And yes you are right it's easy to focus on your own problems and not be as educated in the problems and emotions of others. I really am finding this book useful for that and hope it makes me a better person in the end! 
Good luck with your journey. 
I hope you get some more replies on here that can relate or be more useful to you 
X


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