# Advice on Introducing Children to Dogs



## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

So, we are approved for our Bluebird...   I'm so excited but as usual the question of what we would do if he is scared of the dogs reared its ugly head during panel.  I gave the right answer, that we have strategies in place, the dogs have their own space, we will do introductions carefully etc etc, including using a dog walker or possibly even kennels for a short time if it helps.  And I said that if all else fails we'd have to make difficult decisions about rehoming the dogs, but in my mind that simply can not be allowed to happen, I have to plan, plan, plan so that the intros go well.

Bluebird has had little experience with dogs, although he seems ambivalent to them.  FC's family have a dog which comes round sometimes and walks past BB to the garden, he shows no interest but doesn't seem frightened, I've taken this as a good start...  

When we bring him home, does anyone have any advice on how to really make sure he gets used to the dogs being around in a really positive way so that we can build a good relationship between him and them?  Would it be best to let them hover in the background so that he just absorbs that they are there.  What about barking, I'm scared that he'll be frightened if they all bark at the doorbell and it might make him wary of them...  I know it's a noise he would get used to eventually but we will have SW's here a lot to start with and we are going to have to show that this is going to work...

Basically this issue is causing me stress...  Any and all help gratefully received from anyone who has introduced an Adopted child to their family dogs!  I've bought lots of books that I'm going to send him for the FC to read about dogs etc, to start the process and the pooches are in the introduction DVD, we've also introduced 2 jellycat dogs who look similar to our Springers, we've sent them and they appear in the DVD too....

 This is the one thing that is really worrying me because I REALLY don't want to have to get rid of the dogs, I would be absolutely gutted and it would not be a good start to our life as a new family...  xxx


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

I haven't got a great deal of time to reply fully but what I wanted to say is that you must also prepare the dogs too, We have a very spoilt Jack Russell, she went on a holiday to nannies house when our lo's came home, to give us time to concentrate on the children and for them to feel safe and settled.  We visited our pooch at Nannies house and it gave the children time to get used to her.  I think she was away for a couple of months.

If this isn't possible for you to do, then maybe think about an area of the house that you can put the dogs when you don't want them around?  And start putting them away now so they're used to being excluded.

My dog was my baby, I never thought she would be as good as she is with the children.  Now they all get on great, but I have completely changed my view of my dog, she is not my baby, she is a dog and is treated as one.  She is certainly aware that the children are her boss too and she does as they say   

xxxxx


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

Luckily the dogs are quite used to children and either ignore them or let them stroke and cuddle.  We also have a 'dog room' with a child gate across it where they sleep and eat so that will be a child free zone and we can put them there out of the way any time, something they are used to as they go there when the are wet from walks etc.  Thanks for your reply..  

Whilst our dogs are quite spoilt I've always seen them as dogs and treated them as such, which helps.  They all know who the bosses are in the house and I'm fully prepared to teach LO how to respect them but also commands to control them.  Fingers crossed!!


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

Sounds like you've thought this through carefully and I can't really see you having huge problems  
We're planning to send our dog for a holiday to relatives too but LOs CPR mentioned a wariness of dogs although apparently this is much better now  
I do worry about the barking though, our dog doesn't really bark very much but when she does it is quite loud!
Wondered wether to record her bark and playing it to LO at a reduced volume gradually turning it up as she gets used to it, will maybe tell her it's the dog saying hello can't wait to meet you...!


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## peacelily (Feb 24, 2006)

When our DS arrived, we sought help from a dog behaviourist, and this is what he said (bear in mind DS was much younger than yours is, so a baby rather than a toddler):

The arrival of a baby is good news for a dog, if you remember the consultation, the only thing that matters is that the pack survives. The arrival of a new young pack member strengthens the pack and improves its survival chances.
When you get home have dog in another room or area it doesn't matter where, the garden is fine. You may want to just pop in and move him to the selected area when you arrive home but before you bring the baby in. this just gives you a bit of time and space to sort yourself out. You will be bringing baby home, a wholly new experience. You will probably have all the huge amount extra kit that you need for a little one as well as friends and relatives all wanting to see baby. Injecting a dog into that mayhem would only give you something else to worry about.  The next stage is introducing dog to your baby. However, this doesn't necessarily need to take place as soon as you get the baby home. In order for the introduction to take place successfully you need to be relaxed and calm, so if you don't feel up to introductions on your first day home, that's fine. When you are feeling ready, I suggest that one parent takes the baby through into the sitting room and sits down and relaxes. Dog can then be brought into the room, on lead, by the other parent or someone the dog is totally happy with. The person with dog can then sit near to the person holding the baby, and just casually chat to one another. The important part of this is to remain calm and happy at all times. If dog is agitated or simply won't settle, then I suggest you take him out and leave him in another room for a little while and then try again. Once you are all able to sit in the room and the dog is settled on lead you can then take it to the next stage.

The person with dog can then get up and move closer to the one holding the baby. The key to this technique is to take everything in small stages. Every time you move closer, let your dog settle before moving even closer to the baby. The stage to aim for is for both people to be seated beside each other with dog settled and relaxed at your feet. At this point you should only let him sniff at the baby's feet rather than getting too close to the baby's head or face, etc.

When the baby makes a noise or cries it is essential that the family stay calm. Remember that a baby's cry is designed to get attention, as a baby's survival depends on being cared for. Do not be surprised if dog becomes agitated when your baby lets rip. If you go to baby without making a huge fuss, he will see that there is nothing to become upset about and will calm down quite quickly. It is very easy to make something of nothing, and once that happens it is very hard to reverse the reaction.

The basis of the method is to communicate with your dog using the language that it understands - "Canine". Once you are both communicating in a universal language, your dog will be able to understand what you request it to do and you should have no concerns about the relationship between dog and child provided you supervise all situations carefully. It should go without saying that no child should be left unsupervised with a dog for any period of time.  
DS and dog are now best of friends  

Peacelily xx


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## flickJ (Feb 9, 2012)

Hi AuntieKatie, your post certainly struck a chord with me - we have three dogs  and a cat at the moment, at the beginning of our adoption journey we had six dogs, but we took the painful decision to reduce the numbers.  

We had an independent assessment done and then, with the help of a rescue/training centre had then re-homed.  I am in constant contact with the centre and receive updates and news although we don't see them. 

I, too, am very nervous about our remaining dogs and constantly thing about "strategies"  - we are lucky to have a conservatory (or dogservatory!) and we also have a cage (5"x3") that the dogs sleep in. They go in there by choice even when the doors are open (we don't make them before anyone phones the RSPCA )

Another thing we have been doing is extra training to give the dogs a better chance of accepting the situation and also calm them down.

Crazyspaniel - I loved the way you described the dogs when they are barking


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

Hi Flick, that's hard, having to rehome 3 of your pooches.  We now have 3 dogs and a cat, so in similar situation.  Both Springers will use a crate so we can confine them if necessary but as we have the dog room we only have one crate currently in use and its door is removed.  Praying we can make this work, the SW's seem to think it will be ok but I really wish LO had some experience with dogs prior to coming here, shame the FC isn't a dog owner but we can't have everything...  

Thanks for the extract Peacelily, very helpful. 

CS, I'd thought about recording the dogs barking too, like a desensitisation programme!    Still tempted, might see if I can record a DVD and send it to FC with the books I've bought.  

In case anyone is interested, we have ordered:
Dogs by Emily Gravett
How do Dinosaurs Love their Dogs? By Jane Yolen 
Go Dog, Go by P D Eastman and
Elmo's World - Pets!


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## peacelily (Feb 24, 2006)

Dogs by Emily Gravett is gorgeous! We used to read it virtually daily


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Great thread Auntie Katie. Thanks for posting, replies are really helpful. 
This is something that concerns us too, good advice here


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## nicola jane (May 14, 2013)

our dog loved children but sadly passed away today just before we meet our little ones on wednesday!  seems like he was waiting for a reason to leave us         xx


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

Oh sorry to hear that NJ xx


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## peacelily (Feb 24, 2006)

So sorry to hear that, Nicola Jane. Sending you gentle hugs   


Peacelily xx


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Oh no that's so sad NJ.  
Sending big hugs  
EB xx


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## flickJ (Feb 9, 2012)

So sorry Nicolajane, you must be devastated


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

NJ, it's like your pup was giving you the love you needed until you had someone else to focus on.  So sad and run free at Rainbow Bridge lad, young again xx


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Nicola Jane - so sorry to hear of your beloved pet passing and so nice you see that she held on for you. X

Auntie Katie - peace Lily's advice is great. Our FC had a dog but LO was not interested in it so FC having dogs us no guarantee anyway. Our dog is well trained we followed PL advice but then just went with the flow. We got LO into the routine he had but added in ours (dog always fed after we finish & his walk time). LO wanted to help and v quickly he has established his daily job is to hand me the empty dog bowl (our dog will let us & LO pit hand in bowl when eating etc) obviously we stood very close & told little boy why we don't do this but it has evolved into this. We also ensure the dog shows the same respect to LO as he wld to us so no being on couch, eating from plate etc

I think you are doing everything you can and would say include LO but don't pressure them into helping and you may find your family unit comes together.

A dog trainer friend said that the biggest reason kids can really get out if dogs (and animals) is that they don't have any expectations of LO. They are not looking for LO to do/react that adults do (even if subconscious). I have to agree with this as our LO took himself off to sit in the dogs bed even when the dog was out walking when our attention may have been too much (he went through the whole push pull cycle where he wanted your company but found it intense too).

My advice is to go with the flow, don't leave them unattended, watch for small signs when new packs are forming and implement your strategies if or when you need to. Likelihood is SWs won't worry if you are not worried - labels tend to be more questioning.
X x


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

We had friends round yesterday and I was so encouraged with the dogs, their 7 year old played with 2 of them in the garden and they were so good with him, soon learned to obey his commands as he had treats lol.  He sat smoothing our little dog while watching telly and he had our large boy Springer lying down and waiting while he walked down the garden to hide treats, then telling him to 'go find'.  Was lovely to see. 

Our other girly went to her bed though, too many people and it gets too much for her but she's happy to go and put herself to bed in her crate until things quieten down.


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