# Are there any over 40 success stories out there?



## lumpy123 (Feb 22, 2013)

Hello,

My wife is 41 at the end of this month, we tried IVF a couple of months ago, got 3 eggs, three of them fertilized when mixed with my "super sperm"(just kidding) anyway, my side is OK, but thats beside the point...  anyway three fertilized, two were good condition, and after ony three days they were put back in my wife.

So BFN, cue lots of disappointment, and honestly, lots of resentment on my part, but I can't help it... if she'd agreed to do this 5 years ago then it might be a diferent story, but again, thats beside the point...

So back to th drawing board, should we try again, with my wifes eggs or go straight to Thailand and use donor eggs, the cost will be roughly twice regular ivf and there is only a 50% chance of success.... 

(and tbh this money coauld be better spent as part of a property investment or a second convertible BMW, ) having kids was NOT supposed to be this difficult! 

Are there any own egg over 40 year olds who have actually been succesful?


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## JohannaHi (Jan 4, 2014)

Hi lumpy 123!
First (it's not the point but I couldn't but write) - I believe your wife is the one to decide when comes the right time for her to become a mother. So if 5 years ago she believed that the timing was wrong - you shouldn't blame her. I became a mother at 47  - and absolutely happy.
You both are going through rough time here. But eventually everything is going to be OK. And you know sometimes the way to parenting is complicated but please keep trying.
41 is not too late to use your wife's eggs - I believe you should try for the second time. You've got at least 5 years before switching to egg donation program.


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## Marie1970 (Mar 9, 2011)

HI, the good and bad news is : that very few ivf cycles work first time. You need to give it the standard 3 as thats when most ivf cycle are successful. So if its going to work it will within 3 cycles. Mine was the second cycle and i was 42. 43 giving birth.  I am now trying OE ivf again at 44.5 and its been much harder but Im still trying as I am getting good eggs that fertilize. Its a numbers game now and we are prepared to keep crunching. Do i wish now we'd started earlier? yes i bitterly do! and it was my husband who wasnt ready even 3 years earlier.(hes 33 now) And I sometimes resent him that its his fault we are desperately trying for a second child but i never say it out loud and really i know he wasnt ready. And now it is what  it is. so I have to just have to deal with it as best as can. 41 isnt too old to give up on your own eggs but dont wait around between failed cycles. I hope i have good news in the coming weeks thats encouraging to you to keep trying. I wish you and your wife a successful cycle very soon


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## mirela (Aug 5, 2013)

Agree w summer it's a numbers game, I got lucky the first time using own eggs at 41, they got 3 eggs, 2 fertilized and one healthy baby resulted! Wanted to try for number two but life happened (see below), now going the DE route and couldn't be happier - in my case I am just grateful to be alive and have a chance at this at all.  Anyway, it CAN happen so keep the faith and good luck on your next cycle!  M x


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## lumpy123 (Feb 22, 2013)

Hi there,

Thanks very much for your positive feedback.  It's amazing how that kind of info can lift your spirits 

So I guess we'll give it another couple of OE goes... 

It's actually nice knowing that its not just us, and other people are in the same situation... (thats not meant to sound mean, just that it would be nice to have like a support group to go and moan to other people about all this stuff)


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## MS Apple (Mar 5, 2013)

Just wanted to add in that some clinics are better with older women... And have a higher success rate. Older eggs are fragile and need to be carefully handled - of course all eggs have to be but you get my drift!

Make sure you are happy with your hospital for treating older folk (like we are flipping 85 or something!) but I had two consultations with different places and the difference was night and day. We are going for round three in a month or so then will call it a day.

For us it's about remaining steady and being aware that a childless life is still amazing and one that opens up a whole host of other really awesome possibilities!

Really wish you well and enjoy the ride - it does take a few cycles.

X


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