# IUI With Vaginismus Part 18



## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

New home ladies!

  

H xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Me first, me first!!!

Just wanted to be the first on this thread!! 

Emma - 6 bedrooms sounds like a mansion to me! I'm coming right over to commandeer one to be a sweatshop for making funky and sexy maternity clothes to sell online! You can be my model  . I have thought about making babyclothes to sell online, as I would have enough room to do that, and they just have to be fun - not tailored. DH probably wouldn't be a consultant full time, as he isn't really that sort of person, but he has an area of expertise that I/we could offer. We also have another business idea that he would be brill at doing, although it is quite energy-consuming. Can't decide if we should just bite the bullet and do what we want and hope it pays enough, or get proper jobs and get financially straight  

Decisions decisions...

Love
Polly


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Thanks for your support on the pain with #3 last week.  I haven't done it again since, but I am planning to try tonight.  Bf thinks I should be able to do #4 and without alcohol before we have s but I'm starting to think I'll never get there this way and perhaps I should just accept the pain and maybe it will get better over time as I stretch that way.  Don't think he's keen on that approach, but he has started to mention February as the time he thinks it will all be underway and I don't know if that's plenty of time or hardly any.  Sigh.


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Claire

Forget this alcohol-free business! There are people who NEVER do the deed without drinking first, I'll bet. If there was one bit of pressure that you don't need to put on yourself it's the doing-it-without-drinking bit. Who cares if for the next four years you never have S without a drink, as long as you are enjoying yourself? The S police don't!  

I am always much better at it in the mornings, by the way, as I am more relaxed than in the evenings. Just too bad that DH likes to get up and do houseworky things at the crack of dawn! Still, I often manage to get him to come back to bed afterwards!

Love
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

This is turning out to be such a lovely chatty day and the timing is perfect. I've actually been super efficient and cleared my case load at the end of last week. Got a few odd jobs to do - the ones that you put off for a rainy day. I'm off down the dungeons in a mo to dig out the Xmas decs. No other bugger would think to do it. I am the Organisation Queen in this place. Lord knows what they'll do next year when I go on mat leave - call me at home?

Anyhoo

Polly - Consultancy sounds like a terrific option. I often feel nauseous when I find out how much we pay some of the consultants who work here. There always seems to be a market for them too. Might be worth doing for a while just until there's a nice little next egg to see you through the set up of any new business...which by the way also sounds incredibly exciting!!! I'm intrigued as to what it might be, but don't say anything on here in case someone steals your ideas!!!

Emma - Are you having a laugh!?! 6 bedrooms and not a mansion? I bet I could fit my house in that one 3 times over, well the pre extension house anyway  

Have you had a look in Next or H&M for maternity wear? They both do some rather nice stuff. Next also do petite sizes! I've not had to look at anything like that yet. Still a bit of room in my normal clothes. Haven't needed new bras yet either  

Just been to the hospital and given some blood for the Down's Triple Test. Also seeing Madwife on Thursday and I'm counting the hours til I can run in there and ask where the 'eck my bump is. Also to check there is something actually still in there and growing - I am aware I say this at least once a week. Still not convinced there is a little person in my tummy.

Claire - I echo everything Polly said. Don't think so far ahead. Take one little goal at a time or you'll do more damage than good -trust me! Start off with trying number 3 tonight and then we'll go from there. We're with you all the way no matter how big or small the steps are.


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Thanks both.  I'll try #3 tonight then, WITH alcohol.  Although goodness knows what state my liver will end up in!!!!!!!!!!!!

Claire x


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Right, got my references done - now I'm going to see what I can shred!

Annie - absolutely not going to say on here what the new idea is - you're right, someone might steal it. When I thought of it about eight months ago, I could only find four others who were doing it, but I now see that there are about 40. Got to be a growth area!

Got a serious case of KCS today (Knicker checking syndrome). Not much happening at all today....hopes are starting to rise again, and I wish that they wouldn't.... 

Good luck with finding the Xmas decs. Far too early!

Take care

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Annie - did you get the decorations out, and up? Isn't it a bit early yet? Surely you have to wait until December, at least? One of the things I'll miss from my old house is seeing my old neighbours put their decorations (include outdoor display) up on the last weekend in November each year. 

You should get new bras, even if the old ones fit.  I got in trouble from the midwife for wearing normal wired ones. Mind you, if you hang on another week, perhaps they'll have grown in size.
I hope your bump appears soon. I almost think I have one now, but I doubt it is obvious to the world at large.

No H&M here, and the Next and Topshop are tiny ones with no maternity stuff. Perhaps I'll have to try mail order.

I saw a midwife on Friday who said my blood pressure was too high, but as it was the day after moving I'm hoping it was nothing more than temporary stress. She said if it was still high in a couple of weeks I'd have to be referred to a consultant. I heard the heartbeat again too - reassuring to know there's still something in there.

Claire - like the others said, I wouldn't worry about the alcohol thing. Doesn't most normal ttcing/sex take place after consuming alcohol. Try not to set deadlines for it all too. It puts way too much pressure on yourself. I for one think you're doing brilliantly. You're certainly working your way up through those dilators far faster than myself.

Polly - personally, I think you (and dh) should just throw yourselves in at the deep end with your new business ideas. If you do 'proper' jobs you'll get too bogged down in that to give the business idea your full attention. Why put off til tomorrow what you could do today (advice I never follow, by the way ).

You really wouldn't want me as model, by the way, unless you were taking the approach of 'look even this person manages to look good in our gorgeous clothes'   

Annie, Polly - about this mansion idea. It really _isn't _ a mansion. It is just a fairly sizeable semi.

Oooh. Someone is just arriving. Got to go,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Flase alarm, no one there.

Polly - just saw your post. Might it be worth testing again?


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Ooh, Emma, don't, I just went to the loo (in the arctic circle) again, and only tiny spot. I'll test on Wednesday if nothing conclusive by then.  

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Polly - what an ordeal for you. I won't mention the subject again (until you do).


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh Polly- I am squeezing all my bits together, cutting off circulation as I pray for good news for you. 

Emma- Decorations are out but not up. We wouldn't dare before the 1st and besides the ones in the box look like they've seen better days. Boss has agreed we can get some new ones!

I'll consider purchasing a new bra, but even the thought of not having underwire makes me feel frumpy. Maybe the underwire is cutting off the growth? Maybe that's why mine are still little bee stings?

Claire - Good luck tonight!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - I have a real weakness for lovely lingerie (and a large collection thereof), and find these unwired items hideous beyond belief. In M&S they're hidden in a dark corner with all the support garments and outsized items for the older lady. They don't do unwired ones in any of the nice ranges. 
I found a couple of vaguely acceptable styles and bought a few of each there. The stuff I've seen in lingerie shops and department stores is even worse.

I don't know if it stops them expanding, but wired ones are supposed to damage the mammary glands, or something.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

My my you have been busy today, I am still catching up.

Emma they do some lovely maternaty underwear (or I thought so ) on Figleaves.com bit pricey some though.

Polly     I realy am praying for you, and I'm not even relgious! you sound brighter though.

I got myself in a right tizz last night, went completly histerical was crying so much I nearlt threw up! felt really faint I wanted to end it all! Poor DH didn't know what to do, I had really had enough of all the pain.
Adoption is the way forward I know this but I just feel so down becuase its yet another hurdle to climb, I just want to be a happy family who is financially comfortable and things keep getting in teh way and I don't feel in control of my own life. feels like it is somebody elses.
Feeling a bit better today and I am hoping it will pass! DH wants me to see our GP but I don't see he can do anything, If he gives me anti-depressants that will effect our adoption chances and I don't want that! can't be signed off work as cant afford it although I really do think that would be a good option as I am not coping!

Annie, we will have unprotected sex for the next few months (not that I can have sex at the mo - mental block!) once we get really into the adoption process we will use protection becuase it wouldn't be fair to waste the social workers time or go into this half hearted! 
once we have adopted and we feel time is right for a second child we will start having unprotected sex again to see if we can conceive our second child naturally then if needed we will have more treatment. 

As for dreams I never ever dream or if I do they are very vague, I am having sometimes 3 dreams a night and I can remember all of it! do have nights where I don't dream
I just feel permanetly exhausted at the moment and finding it very hard to function feel I am loosing the plot a little.

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna, I'm online with Polly. Fancy joining us?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Donna, you poor thing, you sound in such a bad way. 

I would avoid seeing the GP if it will affect your chances of adoption, but on the other hand you need to put your health and emotional well-being first right now (I once took anti-ds and have regretted it ever since because it does come back to haunt you in later years, in my case when getting medical references for jobs).

I hope Polly and Annie were able to offer lots of helpful advice and support. I'm sure they were.
We are all here for you Donna. I know we're not real, but that can be a good thing.

Take care,
Emma, xxxxxx
p.s Figleaves have one lovely style amidst a limited selection of dull stuff, but it is very expensive; not sure I could buy one for each day of the week


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Morning

Emma - are underwired bras never a good thing, or only while pg? I can imagine having to be not wired. Eeeeuuww!

I'm now 18dpo and no af, only little spotting. Ooooer! Never gone this long before: but the first IUI I had went to 16 days and really got my hopes up. 

have got a busy afternoon and evening, so that should take my mind off it.....

Love
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All

Polly - Still keeping everything crossed for you and praying it's not the body being cruel. Hopefully we'll hear from you at some point today and you can let us know how you're getting on.

P.S - apparentley you can't wear underwire when you're pg. I've still been wearing all my normal bras - with underwire. I did pop to Mothercare after work yesterday and have a look at the maternity bras.They're pretty ghastly. Guess I'm going to have to start wearing them though.

Emma - Morning!


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

I can't imagine leaving the house without wiring!  I think I'd look like a boy if I did! (in that area, anyway)

I did #3 last night and it went really well.  No pain or anxiety, moved it about and in and out etc etc.  But then I decided to have a tiny experiment with #4 which I got in about 2 inches but it did hurt quite a bit although I'm not sure if it was all pain or just that it was quite cold as I've found that before with the others re being cold.  I tried to relax my muscles but no luck so I gave up after about 2 minutes.  However, I do feel quite proud that I've got passed my mental block of 'no way' with regards to #4 so that at least is something to cling to.

Polly, any news?

Claire x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

WELL DONE CLAIRE!!!!!

I am so proud of you for giving number 4 a go. I'm sure the other girls will be proud of you too. That's fantastic news. Maybe you were a little bit nervous and that's why 4 hurt a bit - but wow! look at you go. You are doing absolutely amazingly.


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Brilliant Claire! You're doing really well, and well done especially for giving #4 a go!

No news from me, last knicker check showed no change. Now got to go off and be busy, no doubt af will arrive in the middle of my long meeting this afternoon!

Love & nerves

Polly


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Not sure if any of you fancy this but you never know till you ask;

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,42462.20.html


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

Thanks for the support, it means a lot.  

I was nervous, yes, even though I tried to think positive and 'it's big enough in there' etc I was anxious.  My muscles obviously didn't relax properly hence the pain  .  But then, I think #3 was quite tricky too originally and hurt at first and it doesn't now (except the blip the other day...).  So I'm feeling optimistic.  I'm thinking of buying a vibrator (smallish one, I've seen one in Ann Summers that doesn't look too big) for bf to try using on me.  I haven't even shown him the dilators as I think they look so hideous and clinical, but a vibrator I think I'd be ok with in that respect... What do you think?

Claire


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning people,

Claire - wow! You have done brilliantly with #4. It is massive.    2 inches is quite a long way. You really are the dilator queen!
You go for it with a vibrator, if you think you'd like it and it would help. I never did myself, but that's just me. I was terrified that someone would see me going in or out of Anne Summers, although it really shouldn't matter. Use whatever you feel comfortable with.

Polly - I am on tenterhooks waiting for your next posts.   
Yes, the wiring/nonwiring thing only applies if you are pg.

Annie - hello! 

Donna - how are you today? How did you sleep last night?

Take care everyone,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Afternoon

Claire- I have a vibrator from Ann Summers and have rather enjoyed it in the past   I think it's a great idea. I think it'll help your mind learn to insert things, let go and have fun all at the same time!

Polly - Still sending my positive vibes!

Donna - How are you feeling after our chat yesterday?

Emma - Afternoon! Are you busy entertaining the local council again


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Thanks Annie.  I think I'll pop into the city centre during lunchtime tomorrow and get one.  Will tell bf the good news tonight if I get a chance.  We're going to bingo but one of my friends is also coming so no privacy!

Claire x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Claire- I loooovvvee going to Bingo! I might be going Thursday night actually. I get ever so excited if I get down to one number. I've never won though


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

I haven't won yet either!  I need to get some dobbers as I always end up borrowing from a girl at work ... Very exciting ... 

Claire x


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

OK folks. Excuse me for being self-obsessed, but nothing's happened yet. I keep being convinced that af has started, and dash to loo, but only spot!

Phoned the clinic to say why I hadn't been in touch since Friday, and they suggested a blood test. Couldn't go today, so I will POAS tomorrow morning, and then talk to them. Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh     .

Could it REALLY happen to me?

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Goodness, Polly, I'm getting so excited and nervous now (but nothing compared to your nerves, I'll bet). Here's hoping......    

Annie - yes, there will be 2 political types staying here tonight (and until Friday). These ones are much more normal than the last one, but it still feels like a guesthouse for waifs and strays rather than my home.

I've been trying to set up my PC and link it to the one here but it isn't working. Looks like my FF usage will be confined to times when everyone is out for the time being. Its a bit frustrating really as I thought I could stay out of the way and use the PC to my hearts content to pass the time. 

The entertainment options here are somewhat limited, to put it mildly. I have no car at the moment either(dh takes it away with him in the week), although I'm hoping to buy a new (second-hand) one in the next week or so; it will be some huge beast of an estate car, with plenty of room for dogs, offspring and clutter. All very sensible but I'd rather have a sports car.

Claire - did you get it?!

Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

OMG Polly!!! I feel sick with excitement. During these nail biting waits it is not deemed self obsession. It's called essential updates! Of course it could have happened for you! We must be due another BFP on the vag team? 

I am going to say a prayer/mantra type thing all night. Oh please let it be!

     

Emma - It's strange not having you around so much. If it gets too unbearable you'll have to search the yellow pages for a computer whizz to come over and sort you out! 

P.S - I have a sports car available if you or anyone you know wants one!!!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - I will be around more soon, I'm sure (whether you like it or not). I am determined to fathom a way to get my own PC connected to the outside world. As you know, I'm a bit useless with all this sort of thing. I'm trying to work out how to set up a network or some kind of wireless broadband thingy.

I love the 'Vag Team' name. 

I would love a sports car, but it have to be a dull estate for me. I refuse to consider an MPV or 4X4. I'm going to look at some Volvos tomorrow ....


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna - did you or dh phone the gp today?

love
polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Claire, I'd give vibrators a go, when I first got one I left it in a draw and never went nearit till about a year later! but now I wouldn't be without it! its great because DH can be more involved and it really helps relax you!
well done on 3 and 4 by the way - your great!

Polly, the excitment is killing me!    I am glad I am doing half day tommorow so I can find out what is happening. Good luck hun xx

DH phoned gp today to try and get me an appointment btu the are closed wednesday afternoons   when I am off! and he didn't know what to do so didn't book an appointment for any other time.
I am going to have to try and find a way of getting to an appointment.

Been thinking some more about chnaging gp's becaus emy current one is a little out of the way but when we moved I didn't want to change as he has been my gp since birth!
now thinking though it would be easier to go to the surgery at the end of my road but feel funny about chnaging gp's

Being a right snappy moody moo today  

Donna xx

Good luck polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

can't stand feeling like this, I am up and down and all over the place and can't control how I feel


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Poor you, Donna. It certainly would be worth seeing what kind of hassle it would be to change gp, then at least you have the information if you decide to. Do you know anything about the nearer gp? Is it far to your old gp?

Sorry that you are feeling so bad, but make that first step soon!

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - you poor thing. It is horrible to feel like that, isn't it.

You could try out the new GP by registering as a temporary patient/visitor and see if you think they'll offer what you want. Don't be afraid to shop around to get the best GP for you. You want someone who understands and empathises with you. Its not like having measles where a simple prescription will do.

I might be able to chat tomorrow afternoon - I think MIL is out, and I certainly have no plans. I'll lookout to see if you are online.

Polly - good luck for tomorrow my dear.

Emma, xxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh Polly, I'm so sorry. Here for you when you feel ready xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Polly - I am so, so sorry. 

Emma, xxxxx


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Polly, I'm really really sorry to hear that.  Claire xxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi

Went for a blood test, nothing there. Sorry for getting everyone wound up about it, but it was just nothing.

Love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Sorry Polly,

Mother nature is so cruel


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Don't you be apologising Polly. There was every reason to think there was a chance. What advice did the clinic give you for the next go?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Asked at Gp near me but they are not taking on new paitnets.

Looked on nhs direct and found another on up the road and am I am going to see them in a min! phoned and they are taking on new paitents.

My current gp is good, but when I moved I moved out of his area but he agreeed I could saty on his book becuase I was working next door so was easy for me to see him, Now I have started my new job it is more awkward as it is 20min atleast from my work and they don't open on wednesay when I have half day! so feel I have to change docs as no good having a good gp that you can never see!
New gp may be better I guess, well c!

Really scared about going though!

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Well done Donna! I am really proud of you. Remember pigeon steps like we said. You only have to go and see this new GP and if it doesn't feel right then you don't have to sign on. Get a real feel for the place, services they offer and what the GP's are like.

Don't be scared. You have nothing to be afraid of. it's like shoping for a new pair of shoes!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

I have signed up for new surgery!

If DH stays at old one I think I may be able to go back if I want? as when he joined he did so automatically because he was my husband!

New place looks realy nice and is a surgery so maybe not as personla as only having teh 1 gp but it may not be a bad thing. I think (looking through there booklet) they have doctors and nurses who can offer councelling and other stuff so may have been the right move!

Scarey - next wednesday I am booked in to see the nurse at 4pm for routine checks and wait for it......................... A SMEAR TEST!
then seeing gp at 430pn then we have adoption meeting at 7pm so busy busy day!

I will feel weired going to see a new doctor and talking about all this, its not like I know my old doctor but it will feel like pouring my heart out to a stranger, I have butterflies thinking about it.

Its strange because I have days of total dispear then after that I feel a little better each day so can convince myslef that I am ok and how I feel is normal, that I am just having an off day but then the total dispear comes back again.
At the moment I feel okish but I know its only me trying to tell myself I am ok and don't need any help! I don't know why but i guess I feel embarresed, I know I shouldn't but tis hard to admit you can't cope.

Sorry polly I am being selfish how are you?

Donna xx


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

Donna, I think I find it easier telling things to a stranger, I get embarrassed if it's someone that I know - but then I'm a bit strange like that.

How are you, Polly?

Been to Ann Summers at lunchtime.  Got a fairly slim vibrator which I think is the best way to start with bf, although it's quite long and I think longer than my #3 so I'm going to have to specify he doesn't use it all the way.  Anyway, we decided last night that we're going to try it on Saturday and not before.  We're going to have a relaxing night infront of the telly tonight.  

Annie, we didn't win a dime at bingo last night but we all had a good laugh!  Good luck if you do go tomorrow night, incase I forget to mention it tomorrow.

Claire x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - Well done you. I think this move might be just the thing to get you back on track. Can't believe you have to have a smear test. Should be a piece of cake for you now though after all the treatment you went through.

Great ticker by the way!

Claire - Excellent that you went to Ann Summers. You'll be havin alot of fun this weekend!!!!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Donna - well done, you. It is really brave to take those first few steps. Like Claire says, it might well be easier to talk to a complete stranger about everything. A smear test should be a doddle for you now, but I understand why you would feel nervous.
That's one busy day you've got yourself next Wednesday. 

What a fabulous ticker you've got there. I feel quite Christmassy now. 

Claire  - hope you have alovely evening with bf.

Polly - how are you doing? Has af arrived? Will you be having treatment again this month?

Annie - hope all is well.

I thought MIL was out today and I'd have the house to myself. Turns out she just told council colleagues that so they'd leave her in peace. Serves me right for earwigging on her phone calls. Tomorrow, thank goodness, is the by-election. I have been roped in to help out for a few hours (I couldn't really say no).
I have had a thrilliing day doing some work and, more recently, tackling a huge pile of ironing. What a glamorous life.

Bye for now, my dears,
Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi again,

I have never had a smear, it was obviously never necessary and recently I have been puttin git off each time the letters come.
I had to fill in a form about myself and it asked when last smear was so I left it blank which receptionist picked up on so said I may aswell have it done by nurse as I was seeing her anyway! easy for her to say, but as its a day for facing things may aswell bite the bullet. I am bervous about it though guess it will take my mind off seeing GP! Just hope it isn't as painful as when I last had IUI!

I don't fill at all christmasy and its decmeber tommorrow! hoping that starting my xmas shopping on saturday will help!
Thought ticler may get me in the mood! and I miss not having one since I am not ttc!
and in fact haven't had 's' for over a month!  
just not in mood lately

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - the smear will take your mind off seeing the GP, and both will take your mind off the adoption meeting. Is dh coming with you to the doctor?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

DH is finishing work at 4 next week because of adoption meeting and he said he will try to get to Gp for 4.30 so he can come with me, I think he wants to come to support me but also to make sure I don't miss anything out as he know what I am like!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi folks

As it turned out, (just CAN'T believe this), we can't have tx this month as they are renovating the embrology dept, and so last day is 12th. As that is only 13 days to go, we might have squeezed in, for insemination, but as they say, if I went a bit late this/next month, it would be a wash-out. The next month will probably just be a clomid month, as it is unlikely that we will be back from hols in time to have the scan in order to go on to injectables. Poo!

Oh, and yes, af arrived. 

Donna and Claire - well done on moving forwards in your own paths!

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

OH pants Polly, sorry to hear that on the up side (if there is one) you can have your holiday and christmas without it being over shadowed by treatment and the break away and break form treatment might do you both the world of good especially after the last month you've had. Then your be back fighting nad ready to go in jan? sorry if I have said the worng thing jus trying to be positive for you hun xx

Had a thought while in the shower, do you think i should try taking a supplemet such as Kalms? if ti worked I wouldn't have to tell social worker.
should I try it and give gp a miss next week?

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

DO NOT GIVE GP A MISS!

What's in Kalms? I know that one of the supplements that I was given by the Marilyn Glenville consultant was Magnesium (250 mg, I think, take 2 at night) that was specifically for stress - as she said, you are ttc, so you are bound to be stressed. Klams might be the same sort of thing.

If you have a wee bit of money to spare, get some of that from Holland and Barrett, and have a look on a website for Bach flower remedies or get a leaflet. It seems to me that Mustard and Rescue Remedy might be a starting point, but read through them and see which one or which ones seems to describe your situation. Rescue Remedy is good when you have to face ordeals (like smears). 

If you have a bit more money to spare, maybe go and see a homeopath or herbalist? I didn't take any prescribed stuff the second time I had depression, but I did see a counsellor and a homeopath, and I had homeopathic remedies for the depression, and some for panic attacks, which accompanied the depression for a bit. I thought it helped.

But don't do anything that makes you feel more depressed becuase you can't really afford it!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Polly,

Kalms is a vitamin type thing you can get from boots and places like that, says its good for periods of stress and worry.
I looked on the rescue remady website a while back but was confused as to what you do with it? sorry if I sound stupid but its oil isn't it? what do you do sniff it?

Not sure if oils and things are for me, although I wont knock them before I have tried them but I think I work better when I am actually doing something, so taking something orally might be better?

Getting nervous and excited now its only wk to go for adoption meeting then hopefully we can get the ball rolling there, which I think will make things better as hopefully I wil have more focus.

I have only just started to realise how much wanting a child has taken over my life! its almost 3 weeks to christmas and I have got a single present yet and don't even know what I am going to buy! this is so unlike me I usually have lists and have sorted what I am buying so I can just go to the shops or use internet and get what I want without looking around to much, and have usually finished the bulk of shopping in november! 
so unorganised this year and I do like to be organised.

I wont cancel GP but I am still unsure about councellor   maybe denial!
I am feeling better after talking to you girls. or maybe cause I have made an appointment so have a plan? I don't know everything seems so uncertain!
Am just stressed or am I depressed or is it a bit of both. or am I just a bit down

Off to cook dinner, cheese and onion mash, sweetcorn, carrots (if we have some) and mini chicken kieves (don't think that is right spelling)

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna - don't cancel counsellor. Don't lose sight of the fact that we are people who have never actually met you and are not medically qualified!!! You need someone who can talk to you face to face and has some background and experience to make a diagnosis about what may help you.   

It's not as big a deal as you think talking to someone. I burst into tears at the clinic this morning, and was instantly offered free counselling on the spot (wish I could have passed them on to you!). Actually, I didn't need counselling this morning, I just needed a good cry. But accepting wouldn't have made me an potentially unfit mother, in fact, almost the opposite. I suppose they need to offer the service there as much because the nurses would end up talking to people, when they need to get on with their job and not sit around being nice to people (although they are that too).

You may find that after two or three sessions that you feel much better and understand where you are better, or you may want to explore things more deeply. But you don't know until you start. But the thing that counsellors have in common is that the time you have there is YOUR time, and you can sit and say nothing if that's how it goes (do others agree?)

But the big difference that you would find in using a counsellor is that you might find a way of stopping going round in circles - which you know that you can do a bit - and start to make some progress. That's of course what Annie was helping you do the other night.

Finally - all counsellors have to have counselling in order to get their qualification. So that proves that having counselling does not make you raving or unfit or suspect. Becasue then all counsellors would be raving and unfit, and then we wouldn't have any counsellors at all!  It can be something that you just need to do to get yourself from a-b. 

Does that help?

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Thanks Polly


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna

Just realised that I didn't answer about Bach Flower remedies - they are drops that you can put on your tongue or in a drink. They contain alcohol, but you have so little, it doesn't matter unless you don't drink on principle. 

Kalms are a good idea, but if they don't have magnesium in, it might be an idea to take some too. Just try one of these ideas and see how you get on. Won't do you any harm, and sometimes can have a dramatic effect. 

I'm off to Dublin today, so I'll be back on at the weekend. 

Take care

Polly


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi Donna

I've tried the Bachs flower remedy for flying nerves (I absolutely *hate* flying and need several brandys and a glass of wine to get through it... which is a shame as I'm going to Switzerland for the day on 10th Dec with bf and his mate/mates wife/their kids and will be overshadowed by the flights there and back).

Anyway, back to my point, I didn't find that it worked for me for the anxiety, but wasn't trying to overcome anything else.  But I did try some St Johns Wort a few years ago when I was feeling pretty down and it seemed to do the trick.

Claire x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!

Donna - I saw one of your messages last night but didn't have time to reply back. However - good old Polly has said everything that needed to be. Please do not cancel any of those appointments. I am so pleased you are feeling a bit more positive after our chat the other night, but I really feel that some professional guidance may prevent any future relapses into the gloomy feeling you had.  


Polly - Have a nice time in Dublin. Chin up my lovely and we'll speak to you soon.

Emma, Claire- Morning to you both

Madwife appointment for me this afternoon. Looking forward to hopefully hearing that everything is going well. Got to try and pee in that thimble sized pot later today!!!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Donna - please don't cancel your GP appointment or the counsellor. I know that it all seems very scary, but you have nothing to lose by trying it and potentially plenty to gain.
As you may or may not remember from when I was seeing Dr Sex, counselling is not easy at all. The first few sessions may feel horrible, and you may think that they are making things far worse rather than better, but in the long term it can be fantastic. I was so close to giving up at the beginning. At every sesson I'd say that I'd try just one more and then give up. Counselling forces you to focus your mind on what is really at the root of the problem, and it may not be something you were even consciously aware of. As for crying or saying nothing in the sessions, I for one did all of that. I felt ever so stupid, but it is all part of the process.

I've used Bach Rescue too for pre-exam anxiety, and I think it helped. I don't know if it is the content of the drops that does something magical or whether it is the simple act of feeling that you are doing something to help yourself. 

Polly - what a b****r that you can't have treatment next month.
I hope all goes well in Ireland.

Annie - good luck with the madwife.

Claire - hello. Hope you had a nice evening with bf.

I am not looking forward to today in the slightest. I have to help out with this   by-election. It is pouring with rain, I'll be on my feet for most of the day, and I'll be surrounded by nutcases and obsessives. I don't even support the party I'm supposed to be helping. Oh well, I have to earn my keep here.

Hope you all have a lovely day,
Emma, xxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

I wont cancel any appoitments, I have had moments today where I have felt great and moments when I haven't  

Annie how was midwife?

Emma how was election?

Polly I have missed you now but hope trip to dublin is pleasure.

Claire thanks for tip on st johns wort I'll have a look at the weekends and see what I think will be best for me and give it a go.

Dh home late tonight so home alone  

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All

Donna - Well done not cancelling the appointments. I'm really looking forward to hearing how you get on. Madwife appointment went well, thanks for asking. All seems to progressing as it should.

Emma - You must be exhausted after doing all that work yesterday. Hope you're putting your feet up now.

Claire - Morning!

Polly - Top o the morning to you x


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

Donna, hope your evening in alone was ok - personally, I thrive on them!  I had one last night which was lovely while bf was at football training.

Anne, glad your madwife appointment went well!

Emma, hope you survived the election - it all sounds horrendous to me, you must have the patience of a saint! 

I tried the vibrator for size last night (no problem but it is quite thin) so next step is bf trying it on me.  Didn't use the batteries, just 'trying it out for size' as it were.  Then I did #3 easily and had another go with #4.  Still painful and got in maybe two and half inches this time but only for a couple of minutes again, can't say I particularly enjoyed it.  However, I'm dedicated to overcoming this so may have a go tonight again with #3 and #4, then bf is scheduled in for Saturday night.  I so can't wait to go home and only have to think about relaxing and watching the telly!  

Claire x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Claire - well done with the vibrator and #4. You shouldn't think of it as 'only' 2.5 inches and 'only' 2 minutes. You are doing brilliantly. You'll have it all in in no time. Why not give yourself an evening off from all this dilating lark?

Annie - hope you're having a lovely day? What exciting things do you have planned for this weekend? You always have lots of exciting plans. 

Donna - I'm so pleased that you didn't cancel the appointments.

I love evenings alone, so long as it isn't every night. Mind you, I'm really looking forward to seeing dh tonight.

Polly - hope you're having a successful and enjoyable trip.

The election antics were horrendous, and I hope never to be roped into anything like that again. Claire - I don't have the patience of a saint, by any stretch of the imagination, but couldn't really say no to MIL as she is kindly putting me up. I was shattered by yesterday evening, but it is all over now. The last of the oddbods have just left.
I'm off to attempt some Christmas shopping, although it is pouring with rain here. Donna - you're ticker is panicking me into getting my act together.

I'm planning a reasonably busy weekend. We're going to look at cars tomorrow and perhaps I'll even be able to drag dh Christmas shopping. Sunday we've got a big family lunch.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Greetings Again!

Emma - Yesterday sounds bloomin awful. Hopefully your duties are well and truly over for a while! 

Not wanting to dissapoint you, I do have an exciting weekend planned again. Tomorrow morning I am thinking of having my nails touched up. Then I have a day of cleaning and movies planned. In the evening I'm heading into town with the girlies for an Italian meal. 

On Sunday I'm off to Oxford with my Mother & MIL + Best Friend and her Mother to see Lord of the Dance. Very excited!

Claire- You are doing brilliantly. Such progress in a small space of time. I really hope you have fun with your new toy this weekend!


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

I probably should have a night off really but I'm getting impatient I think    Bf says he doesn't mind if it takes 20 years but I think he's lying!

Anyway, tonight going to my parents as my dad's cooking a curry then there will be lots of alcohol flowing.  Might take advantage of my inebriated state to do #3 and #4 when I get home, save on our own wine supplies  !  Saturday I'm taking my mum Christmas shopping for the day and we're having lunch at Bella Italia, then having a cosy night in with bf, new toy and a vat of alcohol in the evening.  Sunday will be step aerobics at the gym and then in the afternoon going to make some mince pies and put the Christmas tree up (I can't wait ANY longer....!).  Might even write my cards...

Annie, your weekend sounds fab!  Emma, well all I can say is well done for getting through it!

Claire x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Evening all,

Annie - as ever, your weekend sound lovely. I'd ditch the cleaning though - get dh to do it.  

Claire - hope the alcohol and new toy work well for you.  Is curry conducive to that sort of thing?
Will the Christmas tree be in your house, rather than bf's?

Donna - how are you today, my dear? I hope you are able to make some time for relaxing this weekend. You deserve some pampering.

I actually did some Christmas shopping today. Only 1 present, but it's a start. 

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening,

Annie, I read in a magazine once that cleaning of any form is a no no in pregnancy   can induce labour something to do with dust   definatly give it a miss 

Emma, my ticker is pancing me! I have to START my xmas shopping tommorrw, haven't a clue what to buy and shops will be a nightmare, I am going to get squashed 

Polly, hope your ok and having a nice time.

Claire, I am sure you will have a nice weekend especially saturday night   as emma said you are making great progress at an alarming speed so think of it as wow it was in 2 and half inches and wow I kept it there for 2 mins I am fabulous!

Feeling ok today just tired. my friend is having a few problems so kept my mind busy with them instead! 
did have a few thoughts that maybe I wasn't pregnant because Iwasn't ready yet, and by adopting I'll look back in a few years and regret all the things I could have doen first!
so I decided to write a list of the things that I might like to do but cant do with a child, heres my list....................................................





Couldn't think of a single thing! so think it was just me being scared and having doubts! still do you think its normal to have these worries?

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - how did your Christmas shopping go? I hope you didn't get squashed. 
It is perfectly normal to worry about something such a adoption. Goodness, it is a huge decision to make. I'd think it was strange if you _didn't_ have any doubts or worries. (I worry about absolutelty everything, so may not be the best person to say what is or isn't normal in terms of worrying ).
I bet worry will give way to excitement after Wednesday's meeting though.

I hope everyone else is having a lovely weekend. I've spent the day eating and looking at cars, and plan to do more of the same this afternoon. Just had my first piece of Christmas cake this year.

Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello all,

Hope you are all having a fabulous weekend, Emma you are absoulutly right about meeting on wednesday I think I will be very excited after that!

It is so nice that AF is due next week and I didn't even know when till earlier and I dont care about it, its a great feeling!
Realised AF is due on wednesday so no Smear for me - shame  

Finished all my xmas shopping, in one day how great am I! just a few bits to get online now, cd's mainly!
oh and got myself a new camara 

Meeting with Lukes older sister tommorrow to TRY and short things out me and her have ahd our problems but were close once so hopefully we can start a fresh, I am sure I will tell you all about it tomorrow!

Going to look at some natural remadies for stress/ depression and pick one for myself.
Was reading the adoption thread and some people on there were advised by soical worker to have councelling so hoping it wont go agaisnt me.

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Goodness, Donna, one minute you're panicking about Xmas shopping and the next it is all done. You must be superhuman (or a very decisive shopper, to say the least). I am so impressed. I'm still fretting about mine, but haven't done a thing about it.  
I hope you are able to sort things out with SIL. Disagreements with family seem so much more upsetting at this time of the year, don't they.

Shame about the smear.... 

Hope everyone else is OK.

We spent yesterday looking at and test driving lots of cars, but none really captured the imagination. I don't really know where we'll go from here, but I hate being without a car so I need to get my act together soon.

I'm off to sainsburys now - dh is cooking and has found we're lacking some crucial ingredients.

Bye for now,
emma


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

I know I panic about everything and get into a flap when I really dont have to! I had ideas of what to get people before we went out, there was only a few people that I had no idea what to buy, but luckily saw things.
I am very shocked I managed to get it all done in one go though! I do like to be organised and I feel happier about christmas now that I am.

I feel in good spirits this weekend - so far hope SIL doesn't spoil that!
I think it is because I have done something different this weekend. Uually its shopping (food) cleaning and paying money in bank for bills  
This weekend was much nicer, I was able to go shopping and spend money soemthing which I haven't doen for agesm even if the money spent was on other people.

Polly, how was dublin?

Annie and Claire - hello.

Claire how did it go last night?

Donna xx

P.s Emma what is DH cooking?

P.p.s just put some sausage rolls in the oven cant wait for them to be ready, yummy


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Donna, I really want a sausage roll (or 3) now that I've read your post.  It is so nice to hear you sounding more positive. I hope SIL didn't spoil that!

Dh cooked a roast chicken followed by lemon sponge pudding and custard, and very nice it was too.

He's gone back to London for the week now. 


Hope everyone else had a lovely weekend.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Emma your DH cooks the most yummy things! any left overs?
He'll soon be back, it must be so hard being apart form each other.

Talk with SIL went well, eventually!
We were ment to meet in a pub at lunch time, but she couldn't make it as had no one to watch the children, she phoned DH who had left his phone at home! so we didn't get the message and waited in the pub for her  
Eventually she came to our house and kids watched a video in the other room! we had a good talk and I hopewe can all go back to normal now, me and her were good friends before it all went wrong! so hope we can get back on track for the new year!

I got some herbal tablets called Be Calm form Superdrug it contains valerian and magnisium as recomended by polly. So will give them a try and see what happens although at the moment feeling good anyway! but that alwasy happens I am very up and down 

Looking forward to meeting even more things are back straight with DH's family! went into his mums house again tonight for the first time for over 1 year! (not that I had any problem with his mum and dad, just didn't want to see is sisters)

My close friend (who had baby freya) is still having problems with her DH. they have had problems since before they got married but I think she thought he would chnage when they got married, then when he didn't she thought he'd change when Freya was born but he has just got worse! he is very selfish! I think he wants her to throw him out becasue he hasn't got the balls to walk himself, plus if she ends it he can be hard dumb by!
I text her a few home truths that I don't think she wanted to hear and now her phone is off!  

Off to bed in a while, hope you all had nice weekends, Annie how was lord of the dance?

Donna xx


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Donna, wow, Christmas shopping all done in one day!  It's taken me 3 shopping trips and I still have a few things to buy.  It's all going to be online now though, I can't bear busy shops!

Vibrator - didn't do it!  I had a stomach ache and also a rash on my legs (some allergy or other, I'm pretty prone to them) so felt hideous and couldn't face it.  We ended up watching tv instead... So haven't done the dilators all weekend either, and little opportunity this week but Wednesday and Friday are possibilities.  Tree is up now - it's at my house as the cat lives mostly at his house and will knock the baubles off while we're at work.  It does look impressive though...

Emma, sorry no luck with the cars.  Have you tried a Golf?  They're very spacious and also very safe with airbags everywhere you look, and good sturdy padding all around you so good for when you have little ones in the car.  I've got a Mark 5 and love it.

Claire x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning all,

Donna - I'm delighted to hear that you made things up with SIL. Your friends and family do lead complicated lives, don't they. I'm sure your friend will appreciate the home truths in time, but might need a day or two to calm down and digest things.

Claire - I hope you're feeling a bit better today. Don't worry about the vibrator - there's no timetable for these things.
I think the Golf is a bit too small, although I do like them. We need a huge estate car, I think. We need to install a big dog crate/box in the boot, with a division down the middle because my two don't like travelling together.  Then baby daffodil and his/her clutter will have to go in the back and/or on the roof (just the clutter, not the baby, I hasten to add). The Passat was an option, but the salesman said that you can't deactivate the front airbag, so we ruled it out. We're considering a Renault Laguna (lovely to drive and has nice extras, but notoriously unreliable), a Ford Mondeo (lovely to drive again, but rather dated/shabby feel to the interior) or a Mazda 6 (impossible to find a second hand one anywhere near here). I just don't know. I really don't want an MPV or a 4x4 though.

Annie, Polly - how were your weekends?

Well, I'd better go any do some Christmas shopping. Have a lovely day people,
Emma, xxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Sorry, had a very busy Saturday, and  a migraine yesterday. We went iceskating in London with stepkids and various spouses and partners, and then an ill-fated lunch which hadn't been organised, so we ended up getting a very late and cold lunch at a Cafe Rouge. Usually their service is good, but not on Saturday! Started to design a jacket for me and one for DH yesterday, but it didn't go very well, and rather than designing and sewing them, I just got the patterns done before having to give up and go to bed. Never mind, when I start again, I'm at the cutting out stage, and it's all downhill from there.

Dublin went well, and I may have got some consultancy work out of it, keeping my fingers crossed. In the meantime, I am applying for jobs today. 

No Christmas shopping done at all - we were supposed to exchange presents with the kids on Saturday, so it was a bit one sided. Need to sit down with DH and do a bit of strategy planning! 

Glad you are feeling better Donna.

Hope that this week goes ok with you Emma - and you don't miss DH too much. Can you email him at work?

Claire - poor you, feeling poorly. But for the dilators, there is always later this week, and there is no point forcing yourself when you don't feel like it.

Take care Annie

Love
Polly


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Urgh, am I having an annoying day!  Some annoying woman was supposed to approve the marketing priorities I've laid out for the February to July promotional period 3 weeks ago.  Despite chasing, she hasn't done it and has emailed me this morning (when the deadline was last Friday) saying she would like to see the full campaign briefs first and can't look at them immediately.  Which means my work goes in late to my boss when I'd finished it weeks early!  

I am feeling better today (well, rash and stomach wise, but feel REALLY stressed!).  Trying to think calm Christmas thoughts but it's not working!  Planning to have sickies tomorrow and Wednesday as am fed up with work and being unappreciated!  I need a few duvet days...  

Emma, that's a shame about the Passat.  

Annie, hope you had a good weekend?

Polly, good luck in the job/consultancy hunt!

Donna, good luck with the tablets.  Let me know if they work - might try them for flying!

Claire x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning Everyone!

Sounds like you all had fairly pleasant weekends! I had an amazing time at Lord of the Dance yesterday. Totally blown away by these peoples talent. I totally recommend it if any of you ever get a chance to go. 

Donna -  Glad things are back on track with DH's family. Great time of year for a reconciliation. I am amazed that you got all your Xmas shopping done in one day. I've got tomorrow off work to try and finish mine. Fat chance I'm thinking. I've also spent so much already because I can't be bothered to try and find gifts within a certain budget. I'm just pulling stuff of the shelves.

Emma - I think that's duff info you've been given about deactivating the airbag in a passat.  My friend was told the same thing when she was pg last year. It wasn't until she burst into floods of tears and begged them to do it because she couldn't bear the thought of her baby being in the rear of the car that they agreed to do it. Think it might have cost a few pennies though!

Polly - Excellent news that you might have got come consultancy work. Fingers crossed. Sounds like you had a fun packed Saturday - no wonder you got a migraine!

Claire - I am most envious that you have your tree up. DH won't let me until this weekend! Duvet day sounds like a nice idea! Get a cheesey movie and some naughty food in if you go for it!.

Right, best get to work. Well, write up my shopping list for tomorrow anyway!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

OK - tell me to stop uselessly messing about and get on with some job search! I really have NO concentration today.   I still have a bit of the migraine hanging about, and I am really fed up! I need a boot up the backside here....

Love
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Polly - Stop uselessly messing about and get on with the job search!

Any help?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

hello again,

Polly - I recommend that you put the job applications on hold until tomorrow and take today to relax and recover from your migraine properly. 
I hope you get the consultancy work. Would that mean you wouldn't need to apply for jobs?
Yes, I can and do email dh at work. We speak on the phone too, but I never feel we can talk properly freely in case MIL is listening in. 

Annie - maybe I'll try bursting into tears at car dealerships. They might offer me all sorts of extras and discounts just to get rid of me. 

Christmas shopping was hopeless. I bought a lasagne (for me, not a Christmas gift) and, erm, that's it. I shall buy everything online later today. I've got really tired legs and feet now.


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Thanks girls! Sorry, Emma, but the deadlines are looming, so even if they take all day, I need to get on. Neither are "perfect" jobs, so I'm struggling a bit to make the case. However DH has just come in and given me a cuddle to make me feel better, and gone to get me a sandwich.  

I hate having to justify why I could be employed - can't they just take my word that I am fantabulous?  
I suppose everyone is the same, though.

Go for the online version of Christmas shopping, Emma. How about books for everyone? I think that's what I am going to do, with the added advantage that they can be delivered too, which given that we won't see anyone before Christmas due to going to Tenerife on 16th for two weeks, is a big advantage.

Yes, Emma, if I got the consultancy work from last week, it would give me a couple of months grace to build up other consultancy work in the meantime. I have suggested that I could do two days a week in Dublin, and they really need me - I'm the only person in Europe who can give them what they want - see I said I was fantabulous! - so they really need to go for it!
It would mean that I wouldn't need/be able to go for other jobs. It also might mean that I could explore the other business idea that DH and I have. So it would be a great option if I can make it work.

DH has got my sarnie, yum....

Love

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Did I just read that right Polly? Are you heading off to Tenerife for Xmas 

Emma - That is pretty poor Xmas shopping I must say. Hope I do better tomorrow!!! I'm heading to Southampton. Apparantley it's rather nice that way and should take just over an hour to get there. We shall see!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Yep, Annie, we arranged it ages ago, and as it turns out, we can't cancel without it costing almost as much as going, so we decided to go anyway. We can self-cater, so not too bad. We try to go away if possible at Christmas to avoid having the family thing, mostly my family, as there is no compromise or change year from year. I find it totally miserable!     It would really throw a spanner in the works if we produced a child, as it would have to change the dynamics! No chance of that before Christmas! 

Love
Polly
(slowly getting a job application done)


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello

Polly  - did you get the application done?
Wow, you are indeed fantabulous if you're the only person in Europe who can offer Dublin what it needs. Where do you rank on a global scale? 

Can you fit me in your suitcase? I could do wth some winter sun.

Annie - yes, I know my Christmas shopping efforts were poor. The shops here are hopeless. There are no quirky little shops, and only tiny branches of the main chains. It will be books, DVDs and CDs bought via the web for everyone.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello all,

Glad your back safe and sound from dublin, wow that really is good if your are the only person who can offer them what they want, you are bound to get the job surely? when will you find out?

I must confess I have done maybe half of my shopiing online, so it was eaiser to get rest done in 1 day - I love online shopping!
I also had ideas of what I wanted when I went shopping (had a list - I said I was organised) so made it easier as I wasn't looking for ideas!

Gettig really excited and nervous about wednesday now, I cant wait!

Feel very tired today and a bit tearful all down to pending AF I guess!

Claire, you did the right thing giving vibrator a miss over the weekend if you weren't feeling 100% your heart wouldn't have been in it anyway and you could have done more harm than good! as Emma said there is no time scale so don't push yourself to hard

Right doing xmas play at work in 2 weeks so must get cracking on program for parents.....

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Evening!

About to make a start on writing Christmas cards. Sad I know, but thought I'd best get cracking with them.

Polly - You truly are fabulous. They'd be crazy not to hire you. I am totally envious of your escape to the sunshine for Xmas. 

Donna - What play are you doing for the Nursery? 

Emma, Claire - good evening to you both!

Right, off I go for some serious hand writing cramps and to view the I'm a Celeb final!!!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Program is finished, but I am sure when I take it to work tommrow there will be so many changes to be made I may as well not have bothered  

Annie we are doing the traditional Nativity play, The children look so sweet and when they say there lines it melts your heart!
If it was my child I would be in tears I would be that proud!

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Donna, the problem is that there isn't actually a job in Dublin, I need to persuade them to create it first, and THEN have me!

It's been a long day of doing stuff, mostly the job application, but including tidying out our "escritoire", which seemed to be full of old computer cables and bits, and loads of dusty cds. Got rid of a lot of the cables, but didn't find my lost bluetooth headset, which is what I was looking for...bet DH has thrown it away thinking it was too small to be any use.    But the other thing is that I think I have finally got DH's laptop onto wireless, so no more cables trailing round the house   Now for someone to invent wireless electricity....

Just going to settle down and watch Bleak House which we recorded on Sunday as I had flaked out. 

Take care all

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Polly - I hope you're feeling better today. Has the migraine gone now? Did you finish all your job applications?

Annie - hope the shopping is going well. I _still _ haven't done mine, even the stuff I can get online. I tried last night but MIL was peering over my shoulder and agitating to use the PC. I really will do it today though.

Donna - hope the play is going well. You can't beat a traditional nativity. I was Mary at primary school which I loved apart from having to hold hands with Joseph.

Claire - I wonder if you took your duvet day? Sounds like you deserve it.

I may have found a car this morning. It is a fairly old Volvo, below our budget, but it would leave more money for home improvements, if we ever get a home. This evening I get to accompany MIL to her local council Christmas dinner. 

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Emma

yes, migraine has completely gone now. I am just about to email the application and start on the next one. Been sorting out the office this morning - a bit further on... 

Enjoy the Christmas do! 

Love 
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Seasons Greetings One & All!!!

Shopping trip was successful, maybe a little bit too much. DH & I promised not to spend pennies on each other this year, but I saw a gorgeous coat in French Connection for him and couldn't help myself   Managed to get most people done, just a few more to go that DH can pick up over the next couple of days whilst he's home.

So....


Emma - Xmas dinner at the local council sounds..... intersting  

Polly - What the eck is an "escritoire"? Never heard of one of those. I did have a sheltered/poor childhood!

Donna - Traditional nativity is the way to go. I played a star or was it an angel (?) in my school play! Do you get to pick the parts? Do you pick your faves for Mary & Joseph!!!!

Claire - Did you go for a duvet day?

Off to get my roots sorted this evening. Have a good one and talk to you in the morning xxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

posh word for "desk", innit. (sniff)


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Very tiring at work today I am sure the children are 'on' something!

Yes I chose all the parts for the play, Kinda picked the ones that would look teh cutest and do the speaking parts the best!

Getting very excited now about tommorrow and I am so thankfull I don't have to have a smear! I'll do it next year!

Not sure about councellng now? I have been fine for a week now, yeah have down days and moments but doesn't everyone? I'll do go to doctor though!

I have no AF syptoms at all! and it is so refreshing not to be analysing or getting hopes up! its great! I just hope I don't have mega pain like last month couldn't face that tommorrow!

Hope you are all well.

Claire I am assuming as you haven't be online today that you took a duvet day? good on you!

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna, when is your doctor's appointment? Sorry, can't remember if you said. I would still urge you to go for counselling if you can, you don't have to be in the doldrums to benefit, and if you did feel down in a week or so, you would then have to wait to see someone - by which time you would feel better.....

I bet you are really looking forward to tomorrow - can't wait to hear all about it.

Take care

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Polly,

I am seeing the nursey= at 4 pm tommorrow for genral check up as I am a new patient, then seeing GP at 4.30pm be nervouse as its a new surgery and I wont know anyone!
Then got Adoption meeting at local town hall at 7pm - 9pm! what shall I wear?


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Oh yes, you did say, sorry I knew it was the same day as the meeting really!

I suppose that as you have been with the same doctor since you were wee, it must be a bit nerve-wracking to be seeing another one, but you'll be fine.  

What are your choices about what you might wear? As we've only ever seen you in your wedding dress, it's difficult to know what you might choose normally  . I would say wear what you feel best and most comfortable in, without being too obviously "dressed". If you feel good about what you are wearing, you'll feel good all over! 

I wonder what Emma is wearing for her Christmas party - is it the woolly sock brigade, or the tiara and ballgown lot?


Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Again,

I was thinking I could wear a skirt and a shirt and would be able to wear that to work, but then would I look to over dressed?
Or could wear jeans and a shirt but would jeans look a bit casual? I wear black trousers to work all the time, so get bored of wearing them when I am not work!

I am leaning towards the skirt and shirt, but I am worried I will look over dressed and be cold  

OOOH Emma you could buy some new clothes? a dress maybe?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Donna - I'm not sure if you'll see this, but I wanted to wish you lots of luck at the doctors and at the adoption meeting today. What a day for you! What did you/have you decided to wear. I can't imagine it matters that much, but I'd certianly go for an option that doesn't make you feel cold - town halls can be very cold and badly heated buildings.

Annie - your Christmas shopping puts me to shape. I will be making another attempt today. I went on the internet yesterday and ended up just buying books for me.  

Polly - yesterday's Christmas party was something nearer the woolly sock brigade than the ballgown tiara crowd. I was the youngest person there by about 30 years. Most people (both sexes) were in sensible tweedy suits. I gave some black maternity trousers their first outing with a new top, and even wore make-up. I really want some new clothes. i am feeling quite fat and scrufy at the moment.

The car saga goes on. A volvo is off the agenda, as the dog box won't fit inside the boot. Now we have to chose between a Renault Laguna and an Audi A6. I just want one soon. Actually, I want dh to have it so that I can have my lovely Puma back.

Have a lovely day everyone,
Emma, xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All!

Donna - Very best of luck this evening. Can't wait to hear all about it.

Polly - Thanks for educating me. Must use that word sometime!

Emma - Glad you survived the Counsellors Xmas party. Any luck with shopping today?

Claire - Hope all is well


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Christmas shopping was as good as I expected. I got a few little bits, but I didn't really make the progress I needed to. I'm fed up with it all, and dh and I have decided not to bother giving each other anything. Bah humbug!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello All,

Can I ask how you are ment to pee the those silly pots they give u? just rediculous! I have weeed all over my hand trying to pee in a pot for a sample I have to take to the docs later.

For tonight I have decided to wear a denim skirt that comes belows the knee, Knee high boots and a cream jumper. I think you right Emma and I cant see it matters a great deal but you know hoe I like to panic!
Feels like tonight will change our lives forever which I guess in a funny way it will!

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

they're impossible to aim into Donna. I've pee'd on my hand twice now having a go at doing it. Glad I'm not the only one!

Your choice of outfit for tonight sounds perfect. Very smart, but not stuffy.

Emma - Come On! - where's your Xmas spirit? I'm counting the days and can't wait!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - sounds perfect. You'll look like the yummiest of yummy mummies.

I can't pee into those things either. I wrap the thing in lots of toilet paper in a vain attempt to stop the pee going on the name and address label.

Annie - I hope to feel more Christmassy soon. I'm having one of those days where I burst into tears at the slightest thing. I'm sure it is all down to hormones. I promise to be more cheery tomorrow. I'm really missing having my own house and space and prvacy to do my own thing. We've been chasing the solicitor up but there's still no sign of a moving date.

Polly - did you get more applications done?

Claire - another duvet day?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Emma sorry ypu are feeling a bit teary thats not like you, I hope you feel better soon  

Been to docotrs, but doctor was off sick!

Had to see nurse anyway for genrel check up - which was all fine  
As af hasn't arrived yet she wanted to do the SMEAR! but I manged to persaude her not to   Bad I know but just wasn't ready for it

Spoke to her about things which was really hard, how comes when your feeling rubbish you can open your mouth and it all flows out? when your feeling ok you can't think of a single thing to say! I must have expalined myself though because she refered me - or maybe she wanted me to stop gabbling  
anyway, counsellor is off sick at the moment so she has refered me to see teh phsycologist at the surgery (is there anything this surgery doesn't have?)
appointment will be in about a month because of xmas.

I told her my concerns of it all effecting adoption so she said she would just put 'assesment' on the notes and that an assesment shouldn't effect things and will probably be seen as a good thing.

Donna xx

1 thing down 1 to go!

1 hour 30 mins till we leave


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oooh Donna, well done. I am so proud of you. OK, so you didn't feel brave enough to do the smear, but I don't blame you there!! At least you've taken the step towards talking to a professional who will hopefully make things seem alot better more often.

I am so excited about your meeting this evening. I hope you have a good time and come back with loads of exciting information about it all.

Emma - I'm so sorry you're having a down day. Totally understandable right now, living with someone else, not having your own space, DH being away. It's not for long though my lovely. You'll soon be in your new home deciding on shades for the walls. Keep on to those Solicitors. They tend to need a bit of nagging.


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi girls

Sorry I was too late to wish you luck today Donna, but I'm waiting to hear all about it. Well done on the docs/talking to the nurse - she sounds sensible and on your side. 

I'm completely knackered this evening, it was a day of doing legal things, and sorting stuff out. I sent off an application this morning, which I finished last night, quite late. Did manage to get my hair cut this afternoon, just nipped into the hairdressers, and the one that I usually go to was free right there and then - usually need to wait a week for her! So SOMETHING went right today! Maybe I should have bought a lottery ticket too! 

Emma, I'm sure that being "homeless" and less mistress of your own life is quite difficult, especially if you feel obliged to fit in with MIL's plans. I would understand that, she is putting you up and you rightly and politely want to be a good guest, but that's hard to sustain, when you would rather be somewhere else - in the nicest possible sense. You might feel better once you organise the car.

It's just occured to me - I am the only one on this board now actuall ttc! How wierd!

I have about a week to organise Christmas - DH is suggesting going out on Friday for a shopping day. It's all going to have to be cheap and cheerful this year, but as family know our situation, they will understand.

Take care
Love
Polly


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Polly, hoping that you won't have to ttc for too long and that 2006 is your year

New home this way peeps http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,43529.new.html#new


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