# Nerves



## Lukes Mummy (Jan 7, 2013)

I've arranged PGD/IVF for myself and am due to start treatment around about June time... it's because my fiance and I both carry a gene for a condition called Smith Lemli Opitz Sydrome which we discovered following post mortem results from my son who was born sleeping at 21 wks.

I went to the doctors last Thursday and told my doctor this for the first time and she explained that she'd prefer it if I fall pregant naturally, due to the level of stress and pressure involved in the process.  I took on board what she was saying but I suppose over the weekend it's registered and I'm having some wee doubts.  Are doubts normal going into this whole thing or should I be going into it without any doubts at all but without being under any illusions about the success rate?  My head's a bit up my ****   

I understand where she's coming from.  My doc knows my medical history and over the past 3 years, 4 miscarriages, including Luke which to put it bluntly, broke me, she has every right to have her concerns i suppose.  My fiance and I are both 25.  We are young and I suppose technically time is on our side, but it doesn't feel that way.  Right now, my cycle has gone to feck anyway, no consistency whatsoever and I just seem incapable of falling pregnant.  I feel like i'd regret it if I didn't give the PGD a chance but my question is....

Is it likely to affect my womb etc physically to the point where conceiving at all after it may be impossible?  I dont hold out much hope of getting our forever baby from the treatment but I have to try.  But i'd hate to do this and end up destroying ANY future chance of having a baby.

Any advice? 

xxxxxx


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

Hi Lukes Mummy, you are stronger than you think, I was broken hearted when I miscarried, but to go through that as often as you have and still chasing your dream - wow, you are determined to see it through.  Yes, going through treatment is stressful, but it's no-where near as stressful as going through the heartbreak of losing a child. 
Although I hate the 'concept' of a full on 'designer baby' ie must be a specific gender with specific hair/eye colours etc - if you go through the PGD route you're essentially reducing the risk of miscarriage.  
Whichever route you go down, I wanted to wish you all the luck in the world.
Best wishes and hugs
Sheila


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## Lukes Mummy (Jan 7, 2013)

Thank you  means a lot...

that's what i think (i'm swinging wildly and it's not even started yet) - nothing will ever hurt me as much as losing Luke, just a different kind of pain.

Who'd be a wumman eh? lol 

Thanks again...

Kayleigh x x x


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

Kayleigh, if you do go down the pgd/ivf route, your clinic should offer you counselling as a matter of course. But I found just talking here on FF was all the counselling I needed, I could rant, rave, and cry over the keyboard, and someone was always there to calm me down and reassure me when I needed it the most...not maybe a day next week, when I was having a wobble NOW!

The support here on FF is immense.... there's a thread here for ladies who have gone pgd route: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=553.0

hope this helps somewhat in that you're not alone, and very sadly a lot of other ladies out there can fully relate to you and your circumstances.

I also wanted to add that when I was going through ICSI, my clinic advised me that the chances of success were ever so slightly increased for women who had undergone previous miscarriage.

Anything you need, please shout x 
Sheila


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