# BM using lo's photo on ********



## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

I'm sure this topic has been covered before but I can't find the posts with the answer to my question! I "accidentally" found birth mother on ******** and she has a photo of her and our little pink as her profile picture ( as well as other photos of her and her 3 siblings who have been adopted). Is there anything we can do about this? I don't want to tell SW I have been looking for bm unless I have to, but it feels wrong that she's using Lo as her profile picture.  I'm completely paranoid about birth family finding us on ** so we have very high security settings and no photos at all of little pink, but my curiosity got the better of me   anyone any pearls of wisdom about what we can do or do I just ignore it? Thank you


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## Flutter74 (Sep 27, 2013)

Hope you don't mind my input but as a sw on a c&f team i wanted to offer some support. 
sadly there not a lot you can do. that the issue with modern social media. i would keep your security high & no photo of your lo! 

Just ignore it n enjoy your daughter!


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

We did report our sons BM but that was because in their wisdom SS had given her copies of every photo that had been taken of him whilst in FC, she posted them all on ** including ones that included his FC, their family and othe foster children in their care, don't know what happened after that as she then changed her security settings so that we couldn't see anymore.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Hugs it's not nice but as far as I'm aware if the photo was taken pre placement then she has the right to post it and ultimately there's nothing that can be done.  Xxxxxxxxx


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## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

When we were recently matched with a child, I looked up all birth family on ********.  I don't know what the score is there, but was a good job as too many friend friends mutual links.  The placement couldn't go ahead because of the family's being too close, but ******** is there..... High security no lo or come of it.  It's hard when you know it's there not too look.  But pleased I did, too much too close for us!

I a, sure little pink will soon chnage and it will be easier.  As long as you are both safe that's the main thing xx


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## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

As Mummy DIY Diva said, if photos were taken pre-placement then they've every right to put their photos on. 
Trying to look at it from their point of view -our LOs have more than one Mother whether we choose to use the words Mum or Mummy to describe them. They more often than not love their children regardless of whether they have been able to care for them properly and they probably miss them. Those photos are probably the only thing they have left of their children (unless you have contact) so of course they're likely to put photos on ********.

I know as adopters we are concerned about safety and this is a big issue, particularly in the case of someone living very locally or in Minimoo's case where other children's security was also being compromised.
If you are on ********, just make sure that your security settings are very tight, don't put photos on of your LO is you are worried, especially not as a profile or cover picture as these are always public.


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

Thanks everyone. Other than the photos, I'm glad I've found her as has given me more of an insight into her and birth family.  A lot of it makes very sad reading but clear she loves little pink in her own way xx


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## Smudgey (Mar 13, 2012)

The first link we got was a LO from our consortium , i searched on ** abd found BM , whos name had LOs name as the middle part of her ** name and LO as her profile pic , photos and the whole story all over ** as had Birth grandma , unfortunately we had a mutual friend so we couldnt proceed :-/ also with the added problem of BM wanting to meet the new adoptive parents of her LO , that was a deal breaker for me as she was too close :-/ i still think of that LO and hope shes ok


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## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

That's hard isn't it smudgy we had lots of friends whose mutual friends of birth family and including our original sw was a mutual friend of bf x small world. 

I don't want a local child because of that reason so is hard x

Got scare with ******** but now in lock down! Xx


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