# Issues with social services - please help!



## mamochka (May 23, 2013)

Lovely ladies!

Desperately need your words of wisdom/practical advice. I am sure someone was in the similar situation as my SIL, although i definitely not wish any1 to go through the same.

My SIL and her husband adopted 2 children in feb 2011: at that time a girl of 7yo and a boy of 2.4yo. Half-blood brother and sister. They leaved with a few FC beforehand. Immediately it was clear that the girl was a very troubled child, having gone through child sex abuse, she did not eat, did not sleep at night (doing you know what!) and in a few months it became apparent she was also a master minder creating stories - telling them in school about adopted parents, telling stories to SIL about husband abusing her etc etc. So my SIL lasted for a year trying to create a nurturing environment but also some strict discipline to install routine. However the decision was made up to give up on the girl. The boy was doing brilliantly all that time. However they were planning to change houses and that is when it was planned to give the girls back to new FP specialising on pscychological help to abused children. All the behavioural anomalities and created stories were logged with the SW attending every other week. After the separation of brother and sister the order of visits was established - every saturday - aftre which he came home unsettled, pinched and scratched himself. In August however, the SS came to take the boy from my SIL based on the sister's narative that my SIL/husband were beating them up and throwing down the stairs and whatever more. Police case was opened against them. 

At this moment, the lawyers are helping my SIL to fight for the boy, and police case was successfully closed.  But SS who actioned against my SIL family based on the girl's complained is a not the one who kept monitoring the adoption and logged all the "stories" and concerns of SIL. They are not responding to the lawyers letters and basically we are afraid that by returning the child they feel they would accept the blame that the girl has not been helped for all these years before she got to my SIL. And sadly instead of one troubled child there will be two troubled children. I could only imagine what the little boy is going through after he was so settled and doing great in the new family.    

Please any advise, tips, strategies, experiences would be much appreciated.

I think my SIL is giving up after 3 months of fight   I desperately want to help her in any way!


XXX


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

I don't know wether your SIL is a member of Adoption UK, even if she isn't they have a help line on their website, my advise would be to phone them and see if they can offer any advice.

So sad for both the children and adoptive parents when this happens and it does happen, I have no words of wisdom I'm afraid but wish them all the best and hope that they all get the help they so desperately need.


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## Poppets Mammy (Mar 7, 2011)

Oh my word! What an awful situation for everyone. 

I have no words of wisdom either unfortunately. Your poor SIL must be exhausted, bless her heart. I hope she keeps fighting though and some common sense prevails within SS. That poor boy must be so confused and upset. I hope it gets sorted quickly and little boy isn't traumatised too much by all the confusion. He needs someone to fight for him and I hope your SIL can keep up the fight as who else is going to  

Best wishes to the whole family


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## Mummy Noodles! (Mar 31, 2010)

Echoing Poppet's Mammy! What a shame for your SIL ... but she must keep on fighting.   Sorry for no words of wisdom. I wanted you to know I am supporting you and SIL, who must be an amazing woman to go through so much and still be fighting   The strength of human nature amazes me sometimes and I like to think Good prevails. She will come out on top if she has faith and believes in what she is doing.


Noodles xx


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## mamochka (May 23, 2013)

Thank you ladies! Just a little update - this coming week is final deadline for SS to reply - if negative, SIL family is going to MP and court. But i am praying Good shall prevail!


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