# off subject but need some advise



## bell (May 17, 2005)

Hi Ladies

need some advise or help, i think you all no me and i am trying to move on with my life but l am at the moment trying to pass my driving test and its doing my head in,l can drive not a problem not getting many marks on the little faults you get 15 , but as soon as i get in the car and see the examiner i go like jelly i shake like mad and completely go like jelly to be honest ladies if it was because he was good looking then fine but its not, l tried to imagine him with no clothes on but that did not work either, l keep being told that i drive really well but the nerves keep kicking in, l have now failed twice and its really getting to me, l also think all the IVF has completely taken away my confidence, 

Ladies any help would be fantastic or ideas to get rid of these nerves, when i am on a driving lesson l am fine,l have tried BACH but with no success,

NEED HELP LADIES NEED MY FREEDOM                        ONE WOMAN ON THE EDGE

Bell  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Hi Bell

Like you and many of us out there I'm sure   I suffer with dreadful nerves with any sort of exam, test, etc. Recently I did a first aid course, have been a first aider for many years but because my company were lax and let my certificate drop it meant I was a bit behind with new things.

To say I was a wreck when it come to the tests was an understatement even though I have dealt with some horrific accidents in the past and not been fazed by it at the time (aside from the fact I've seen some people horribly hurt - comes with the environment I work in unfortunately). What helped me through it was a technique known as Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) this works by tapping a series of acupunture points around your body with 2 fingers whilst thinking about a specific thought. Luckily the course tutor and me got talking about alternative therapies and I told him I was almost a qualified reflexologist and have been a reiki practioner in my spare time for quite a while now. Turns out he does a workshop on EFT and he was able to help me and lots of others in the group calm their nerves right down before the tests on the day.

Don't ask me how it works, it just does and I was amazed with the results - not only did I feel all the nerves slip away and have calmness descend on me I got 100% for all of my tests on my course whereas usually I would have been a quivering wreck and would have had to re-do stuff again. I hope to be facing my driving test at some point this year (there, I've said it now, its here for you all to see and nag me about LOL)! this is from the gal who is a hardened biker chick and loves her motorbike, but having a gammy leg is making it harder to use the bike so often!

Maybe a post about EFT on the complementary therapies board might give you some insight into this fabulous calming technique? Or maybe one of the others can come along and give you more insight into it from here... failing that have a look on google and see if there is someone who is qualified in this sort of thing and who can be recommended in your area to help you with this.

Best of luck with your driving test Bell, nerves are debilitating but I swear to you this EFT really truly does work on nerves - I have been using it ever since I've been faced with a nerve wracking situation and its still working for me... I hope to do a course on it one day soon too  

Love
Emcee xxx


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## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

Hello

I don't know if I can help at all here, other than to commiserate.  I did my test on an intensive course, which was great, and I was doing fine until the examiner got in the car (a very nice lady, probably about 5 years younger than me) and I started shaking so badly I found it really really hard to control the car.  Somehow or other she managed to pass me despite the highest number of minor faults you are allowed to have, as she said they were all control and she could see it was because I was shaking, and I hadn't done anythign dangerous or lost any points at all for observation.  All I can say is that I was just really really lucky.  The only piece of advice I can offer is, however badly it's going, don't give up until you get to the end of the test - I very nearly did, and then thought, what the heck, I'm going to carry on concentrating and do my absolute best ... I'm sure if I'd not done this I would have failed.  And I really hope you get a nice understanding examiner like mine at the next test!

Jx


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## Mistletoe (Holly) (Jan 1, 2007)

Whenever I have been nervous before an exam or test - and believe me I have done a few in my time - I have decided to go in and enjoy it!
Challenged myself to see how many questions I could answer well or how good I could make the routine or the round of showjumps , or in my driving test how nice the drive would feel - to me! Not for the benefit of the examiner - but for me!
Try to think of the examiner as not there (Ok he has to issue instructions and you have to listen) but he is your passenger! When I did my test I decided it was going to be a very enjoyable lesson (without having my knuckles bashed with a hairbrush - which was my instructor's favourite).
I just drove him about for the fun of it, and when he relaxed into the side of the car and started looking out of the window I realised that it was fine.

Also another tip is positive thinking. This is done by sports people before a big event.
Close your eyes and imagine every part of the test. Imagine yourself doing each move perfectly. Then imagine doing each move, but with a tricky moment like a bicycle coming by, or having to deal with traffic, but you getting through every obstacle or problem with ease.
Do not imagine the worst - if you do it is a self fulfilling prophecy.

Hope this helps.
Deep breath and SMILE!


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Hi Bell,

I did not take my test till I was relatively ancient! I passed every other exam up to university with flying colours and no problems. But driving!!!!

Failed the first go. Second go I expected to do even worse as (I am not joking) a boy got out of a parked bus and ran out in front of my car the lesson the day before my test! He hurt his head running into the side of the car (I did a great emergancy stop!) We had to get the bus driver to witness it was not my fault, make sure the boy was accompanied home, go report me to the police on a voluntary basis and then go to the boy's house to make sure his parents knew what had happened and got him checked.

I fully expected to go to pieces and thought about cancelling, but decided I had nothing to loose and dosed up on "Kalms" a herbal relaxant, totally legal I believe. (Got it at Holland and Barrett.) And I passed! Have to recommend the Kalms, but not running over someone the day before!

Good luck!

Jq xxx


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

OMG jq!  

Sorry, its not funny.... but OMG! Fancy someone running into the side of your car! Thats the sort of thing that would happen to me! 

Splutter!  

Emcee x


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## bell (May 17, 2005)

Hi Ladies

OMG i hope that dont happen to me noooooooooooooooooo, thankyou very much ladies for all your advise, you are all fantastic and have helped me so much, i have my next test booked could only get it at 08:40am l think i put myself under pressure but hoping traffic so bad everyone wanting to get to work that they dont have time for me to drive the car haaaaaaaaaa, i think i will try the tablets kalms dh going to get them for me today, his gone as i dont drive ( maybe l will fail  as 1) he drives all the time and i can get drunk, 2 ) i get help with the shopping, no l can only do my best,

thankyou very much for all your advise thankyou for caring

bell xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Joan (Oct 22, 2005)

Hi bell,

i'm a performer and so encounter loads of people who get nervous.

FIRST
what i would suggest is visualisation. Before you go to sleep, snuggle up and start imagining yourself getting in the car and shutting the door, putting on seat belt, etc., etc., . Go through the whole thing until you have arrived back and he/she has told you that you have passed and feel the smile and the giggles from your success. Then see yourself telling other people and how they hug you and you all laugh and smile. Lastly, see yourself driving off to visit someone on your own in the car, or with a friend passenger.

When you are in your dream/car notice things in the car, like stickers, the colour of the seats, where the radio is, etc.

Everynight.
Even during the day if you have time. Shut your eyes. And get in that place and go out to the car and set off. Make it all familiar.

If anything goes wrong. Stop. Wipe your mind clear and start again.

SECOND thing. Do you eat enough before you go? you need energy, because as you are nervous you will burn up food in your tummy. Porridge or bananas.

THIRD. suck a sweet before you go.

love from joan xxx


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## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

Jq - that made me laugh so much - I know I shouldn't and it could have been so much worse, but what a story!

Jx


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Do laugh! It is funny! I passed and the boy was fine!

Good luck Bell!

Love Jq xx


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