# Newbie here trying to conceive and live with vaginismus *



## jjb

Hello

So happy to find this forum and was hoping there were some people here who understood vaginismus that could offer me some advice. I have never been able to have sex so of course trying for a baby is quite difficult! 

I would love to hear from others on here and be pointed in the right direction to where I will find them. I have been married for 2 years and my poor husband has had 6 1/2 years without sex so it is not easy for him either 



Thanks


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## Caz

Hello jjb, welcome to Fertility Friends. 

I am sorry to see you are struggling with vaginismus - I have never suffered myself but I understand it's quite an emotionally as well as physically draining problem. 
Have you sought any help or treatment with it? Do you think that you will have to to pursure your dreams of parenthood or are you hoping to use IUI or some other assisted conception method?

We don't have a specific area for vaginismus, but there is a thread for ladies who have vaginismus and are trying IUI, so you could probably get some information and support on there:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=124971.0

I would encourage you to read and chat to the ladies there as I think you will find some of the success stories (both with vaginimus and baby making) to be very inspirational. 

Here's a few more links you might like you check out:

*What Every New Member Needs To Know ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Starting out & Diagnosis ~ *CLICK HERE

*Girl & Boy talk - Community Fun Board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

Wishing you lots of luck! 

C~x


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## Angelmummy

Hi 

Just wanted to say I had a friend who had it and her and her husband had never had sex either and she wanted to try for a baby. They were referred to a specialist and after treatment and counselling they did manage to have a sex life.  Unfortunately she has not conceived yet but at least they are trying 



Love Angelmummy
xxx


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## jjb

I have had counselling but it didn't get me anywhere - yet to brave the doctors for treatment!

Well done to your friend though. I have a lot of respect for people who manage to overcome it

jjb

x


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## DizziSquirrel

& Welcome to FF  jjb   
Hopefully finding others with the same problem will encourage you to move forward with seeing a Dr and getting some treatment 
Caz has given you some wonderful advice and links, be sure to check them out. I would encourage you to post in these areas to build friendships and support from members who really do have an understanding of your situation,

Wednesday Nights is Newbie night in the Chatroom too
CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION

To make the site easier to navigate click on the index tab at the top of any page - pink hearts mean there is something new within the board you have not read/looked at and if you scroll right down you will see the last ten posts from all over FF all are clickable  if you refresh this page (f5) it will update the last ten posts as well as the boards/threads and who's online!!!
take some time to look at the *help tab* too 

Check out the *Locations boards* for where you live & a site search for your *clinic* 

Wishing you Friendship  &    


If you need any help just ask! 
~Dizzi~


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## Dizzy one

Hi JJb

I understand what you're going through and can really sympathise.

Freekily DH and me both have problems - mine is apparently a reaction to his problems - so you imagine the nightmares we've been through!

We both put our heads in the sands for years and pretended everything would be okay, but what I learnt is it won't just go away.

Like you we tried counselling but with no success. But to me the most important thing was to have a baby. I turned 40 end of last year and that really was the trigger for me. I started looking into how I could get pregnant without intercourse. I found a wonderful consultnat who helped DH and me through all the tests and we've just had our first round of IUI with clomid.  I find out tomorrow whether it's worked or not.

What I'm trying to say (in a long winded way  ) is go for it. Now we're on the journey neither DH or I can believe we didn't do this years ago. We haven't given up on sortong out sex as well - but figured we'd get help for that alongside the IUI, as that at least takes some of the pressure of.

The thing that I found so amazing was finding out there's loads of others out there like this.Telling the consultant was one of the scariest things I've done as I always felt we were freaky in some way. Her response was fantastic and she assured me we're not unusual.

Sorry to rabbit on - but I hope that helps. FF is a great place with some lovely supportive people.

Good luck  

xxxx


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## emsy25

Hi,

Just wanted to say hello and welcome.

Emma
x x x x


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## Shooting star

Hi jjb

I too suffer from vaginismus. I have been married for 6 years and sex was impossible most of the time and very painful on the occassions we managed it. I was embarassed and anxious for years. I did have some counselling and tried some stretching ideas which made things just about bareable but sex was always something I dreaded. We then wanted to have a baby and as I have never had regular periods we knew I would need help. I was prescribed clmid but had to have 2 internal scans a month to check how things were working. At first this was impossible but I had gone privately and had a female consultant. Gradualy, with a lot of support from her I managed these procedures. I wanted a baby so much I literaly talked myself through the sex, telling myself the pain was temporary. We have finally managed to get pregnant and are due in March. I have never managed an internal or speculum exam though and consequently am petrified about the birth. In the light of this my con has agreed to a c-section. Not ideal I know but all I can manage.

Hope my story helps

If you want to chat at any time send me a personal message.

SS


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## Kamac80

Hi jjb and welcome to the site 

You have come to a fantastic place full of advice and support.

Im sorry to hear that you are suffering with this condition it must be frustrating at times for you and your husband. I wish you loads of luck with everything.

Kate xx​


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