# Telling children concieved using donor sperm/eggs - article in the Psychologist



## pabboo (Sep 29, 2007)

This article appears in this month's Psychologist magazine. Just thought I'd share:

_"Children who are conceived through artificial insemination should be told the truth about their origins as early as possible, new research suggests.

Dr Vasanti Jadva of the Centre for Family Research, at the University of Cambridge, used the US-based Donor Sibling Registry to identify 165 people born through artificial insemination and invite them to complete online questionnaires.

Speaking at the 24th annual meeting of the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology held in Barcelona, Jadva said she found levels of anger, confusion and shock tended to be higher the later people were told about their conception history. For example, 37 per cent of those told between the ages of four to 11 reported feeling confused, compared to 52 per cent told when they were 12 to 18 years, and 69 per cent told in adulthood. Negative feelings towards their mothers were also more common among people told late.

Jadva said that her findings were consistent with research on adoption, 'which also shows that children benefit from early disclosure about the circumstances of their birth.'

A similar message was provided by a second study presented at the same conference that investigated the psychological well-being and attachment of 39 children born to surrogate mothers, 43 by donor insemination and 46 by egg donation, all aged seven years at data collection.

Polly Casey, also from Cambridge University's Centre for Family Research, found that the children born through assisted reproduction generally had the same quality of relationships with their parents as the 70 naturally conceived children who served as control.

There was a tendency for the mothers who had no genetic link to their children to exhibit a more 'involved' parenting style. Also, parents who had told their children about their conception origins were apparently more emotionally sensitive and warmer.

'The children themselves showed positive psychological adjustment and did not differ as to family type. We were particularly interested to find that, according to teachers, those children who had been told of their origins tended to do slightly better emotionally than those who had not,' Casey said."_


----------



## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Well, that's a shock eh. I never would have guessed that. 

Surely the title of this thread should be _"Telling Children conceived through AI"_ rather than singling out donor conceived children, given that that specific point is just one paragraph in the whole article?

Just wondering why you singled out the donor conceived aspect of the story? 

C~x


----------



## pabboo (Sep 29, 2007)

I think that there is a misrepresentation in the article when it starts by talking about "Children concieved through artifical insemination" - which as you rightly say could be either donor or partner sperm or eggs. 
However, the pieces of research the article is based both used participants who were conceived using donor sperm or eggs - the first recruited from the Donor Sibling Registry and the second using children born to surrogate mothers using either donor sperm or Egg donation. 

So, I guess that is why I titled the thread the way I did. Although I see your point, as the general conclusion is about telling children about the "circumstances of their birth" which could be seen as more general than the donor element itself. 


Pabboo x


----------



## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Ah I see I understand; the research _is_ actually specifcally based around donor or surrogacy conceived people? Well yes if that's the case it's a bit leap for this article to assume that's how all AI conceived people feel. There's a difference...or is there? Seems to me that there is?

I still think, well duh it's obvious! Perhaps it is to me that if you decide to tell, you tell early so the child grows up with that being just the way it is, rather than their whole world changing suddenly later on as some time you determine to tell them. If you decide not to tell then you don't tell anyone around or near you because you'd hardly want your child to find out via someone else's big mouth, would you?

C~x


----------



## pabboo (Sep 29, 2007)

I agree- it's not really stating anything new. When we first went to our GP (about 4 years ago - we've moved GPs 4 times since!) she told us how her daughter was conceived by donor eggs and has always told her little girl that "someone gave us a very special gift" as part of the story of how she was concieved - telling more detail each time the child was ready to hear more, in keeping with her developmental understanding. 
I always held that with me - the idea that our child will be concieved because of a very special gift someone gave us. 
I like it. 
But then, DH and I are very very open with everyone about this - he had Leukemia twice, so we always knew we were likely to have to go down this route. We'd be just as open with our son or daughter, should we be lucky enough to have one some day


----------



## cherriepie (Nov 3, 2007)

Pabboo - thanks for posting this.  DH and I were having a general discussion about if tx works and what we would say about the conception if anything at all.  Knowing about this will certainly be of use if and when we ever have to make that decision.

I think we more or less agreed that we would tell but were also worried about that having a negative impact - this seems to show that not telling would have a negaive impact.

Cherriepie

xxx


----------



## olivia m (Jun 24, 2004)

Hi
Just to let you know that 15 years of experience in DC Network has shown very clearly that sharing information with children from an early age is best for children and the whole family.  The research quoted above was a useful reinforcement of what we have known for a long time.  Far from having a negative impact, having everything out in the open destigmatises assisted conception and allows it simply to be part of a child's story, rather than a 'secret' only to be disclosed under certain circumstances.
Hope things work out for you both.
Olivia


----------



## cherriepie (Nov 3, 2007)

Hey Olivia 

Thank you for that - we have talked about it more and have decided to be very open and honest right from the start.  I love your name by the way, it's the name we have picked if we are ever lucky enough to have a baby (a girl of course....lol).  

xxxxx


----------

