# What on earth to put on your pen portrait?!



## Bemy (Mar 2, 2013)

Hi, we've had our first consultation for egg share, waiting on results now and need to return my form. I found writing the good will message really emotional in a very positive way. 

I'm just stuck on the pen portrait of myself. I've got a page and a half and I still don't know if I've written the right things. Really just feel like I come across as a prat.

Anybody got any advice to give on what they did or found helpful, I've had it for 5 days and I just sound like a tool when I read it back to myself. Not dared show it to DH yet just in case he laughs at me! Ha.

Any advice would be great.

Thanks


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## incywincy (Nov 13, 2011)

I took nearly a month to complete mine!

I put what I did for work (in a general sense), my educational history, what I liked in school, what I do in my spare time now and when a child, some aspects of my personality, particularly ones that I feel I have inherited as the child may inherit them too.  I also wrote about my family history, roughly where in the country I grew up (vague just like 'south-west England'), how many siblings I have, what my parents do for a living and my grandparents' jobs.  I mentioned my own family situation as it is now with my partner and step-children which I thought relevant as if they ever want to visit me it gives a heads up on what to expect.

I was told to think of the goodwill message as something for the recipients and the pen portrait for the children produced.  However, I wrote my goodwill message addressed more to the child too.


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## Bemy (Mar 2, 2013)

Thanks Incy wincy. It's pretty much what I've put - ish. Not mentioned much about my childhood so I'll have to write that. Maybe it's nearly there then.

I've just looked at your signature - congratulations on your BFP! That is amazing news. Sorry I've not fully focused on the signature and it doesn't show you signatures in reply mode. Is this your first cycle?

Beth xx


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## incywincy (Nov 13, 2011)

Thank you!

I had two IUIs which were unsuccessful but I don't think the timing was right - they were unmedicated and I think I had them too late after ovulation.  I've only had one go at IVF and it has so far worked.  I got a decent frostie out of it too just in case something goes wrong, I have another try without having to have another egg collection.

I don't know how my recipient did yet, am waiting a while to find out but I am quite curious.

I thought the bit about childhood was quite important as when they read it, they'll probably only be 18ish and they'll know more about how they were as a child than as an adult at that point.  Hope it's coming on well now and that you get your results soon.


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## KaitsWishOnAMoonbeam (Mar 1, 2011)

Heya hun, you're in pretty much the same place as I am. Waiting on the results and group session which is this week. I got my form yesterday and I've only thought about it so far. Why is writing about yourself so difficult lol. 

I know theres a thread in the donor section with some things in it from the recipients point of view, some of the replies got me a bit teary but in a good way. 

Incy you've got some great ideas there... might have to borrow some too  

Good luck!


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## shadow2013 (Jun 17, 2013)

Hi there
Ive been struggling with all the form filling for egg sharing and am stuck on the good will message - can anyone help me out?
Im new to the site and we have our consultants app on monday
Thank you x


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## Bemy (Mar 2, 2013)

I found the goodwill message by far the easiest. I tried to imagine the child, not just a very young child but thought of all the stages to being s young adult when they could choose to find out. I pictured what love I would like them to have been given by their parents and family and how much I hope they feel precious to their loved ones because they are a miracle. 

I think I focused mainly on love and saying I hope they were given it and gave it back, I wished them well for whatever stage of life they were at or decisions they maybe back on reading my letter and mainly that I was really amazed and glad that if somebody was reading the letter that it had worked and a family had been blessed with such a longed for child.

Honestly it sounds strange but I really enjoyed writing the goodwill message, I felt really quite emotional that another couple might get the chance to be really happy. I think it really solidified my choice to become a donor.

I hope that helped. I must say the pen picture took me a month and many drafts to write, just felt like such a prat writing about myself.

Good luck with it all, God bless x


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## shadow2013 (Jun 17, 2013)

Thanks for the advice ... im finding the whole process a little overwhelming ... and very slow!!

I saw the diary link in your signature ... I know exactly how you feel - my best friend gave birth at the weekend and three girls at work are expecting. It just seems so unfair sometime  

I hope you get your results soon

Good luck xx


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## anicca79 (Sep 29, 2012)

Hi all, I'm going to attempt doing the goodwill message and pen portrait tonight. Finding the whole idea quite daunting! Not even sure where to start... I think I'll go through a lot of drafts!


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## Bemy (Mar 2, 2013)

Shadow, it all seems quite daunting but if its the right thing for you to go through you will begin to feel at ease with it. I'd suggest starting with the goodwill first. You can draft out some of your emotions on there, even if you make a fair few drafts. Then you can face the pen picture which is less emotional and all about you - I found this one more difficult because I didn't want to sound like a tool, either too big headed or a boring geek. I got there in the end, got DH to read through then sent them off before I could change my mind and re-do them. I sometimes have a flash if, 'oh my goodness did I write that, or was that in another draft?!" But there's nothing I can do about it, it's out of my hands and that is a big relief.

I'm secretly avoiding my friends and their bumps at the moment. DH hasn't twigged yet. Which is fine. It's not that I'm hugely bothered all the time but they're getting bigger now and I just want it to be and I can happily do baby talk for a bit when its one on one, but when 2 or more are together I am totally left out of conversation for a good hour, which I find uncomfortable and to be honest pretty rude. But hey ho, they're excited and happy so go for it, I just don't need to keep putting myself in those situations. 

Anicca - how did it go writing your message and portrait? Have you got a draft? Hope it went well. The only person who has read mine is DH, I think I'd cringe too much if anyone else read them - who I know that is. It's so very personal too I feel. To be honest its a little part of our conception story (if it works). Most people just get a quick fumble under the sheets and a baby happens but us who can't get there naturally have a longer, more emotionally involved conception period. All this form filling is all part of it, a lot less fun, more expensive and totally less glamorous but hopefully we will all get there and be mummys.

God bless ladies.

Beth xx


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## anicca79 (Sep 29, 2012)

Hi Beth,

So I confess, I wimped out. I was so tired last night and in no frame of mind so I told myself I'd do it tomorrow. My wife isn't nagging me yet but as soon as we have the last result through and we (fingers crossed!) have the green light she'll be wanting me to get it in so we're not being held up, and I don't want that either! I just need to bite the bullet and get on with it lol x


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## Bemy (Mar 2, 2013)

Lol!

You'll get it done honey, don't stress yourself out about it. Maybe your wife could help you with it. I didn't ask my DH because I'm better at writing than he is! Lol! It's true though he he. Bless him. 

You'll get there and when you get your results you'll be more determined to get it done, its hard to motivate yourself though when its not certain it'll even get used. Argh! 

I hope you're not waiting too long to hear xx


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## shadow2013 (Jun 17, 2013)

Hi beth, Congratulations on the acceptance. Another step along the mountain ...
Thank you for the advice I feel more confident with the good will message now.

Annica - I found starting with a few bullet points helped to get started on a draft, im sure you'll be fine once you get going

Best wishes
X


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## anicca79 (Sep 29, 2012)

Thanks guys. Weird thing is I'm great at writing. Application forms, essays, business emails are no problem but this is different! I'm also better at writing than my wife lol. She says she'll help but I know if I write a draft she'll just say 'yeah that's fine' lol x


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## incywincy (Nov 13, 2011)

I didn't find the wording of it hard, but I found it hard to identify what I needed to put in.  Perhaps get your wife to help you bullet point your personality traits?  I started with that, though did it by myself.  I listed the traits I know I have, good and bad ones and built some of my pen picture around that.  Mine was a mixture of information about my life and information about my personality.  

Good to see you're progressing on the egg sharing front, anicca, haven't spoke to you in ages!  Hope you get accepted soon!


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## Bemy (Mar 2, 2013)

Shadow: thanks for the congrats, I'm now just in a silly 'hurry up and wait' mode again, but its a step further. So I should shut up and count my blessings. Man I've been on here all day, totally avoiding doing any work. 

Anicca: get you're head around it girl, you'll be great! Incy's advice is good and I think my portrait was similar - a mix of info about my personality and life. I think I started by saying they had my physical attributes in black and white but I elaborated, mentioning how I dress, dying my hair, simple things, then all the info started to flow a bit easier.  After a page however I said, I'd written lots and would just bullet point any things I thought important but hadn't mentioned - even the fact that DH won't let me get another dog. So they got a long letter and a list! Poor recipients are not going to want to read mine its too long. But it's you're whole life you've got to put in there I feel justified in writing a lot.

Get stuck in honey then you can post it and feel relieved you've done it xx


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