# Lost the plot



## jomac (Oct 27, 2006)

hello there
well I have well and truly lost the plot.
On Boxing day me and my DH opened bottle nice Sauvignon blanc and watched DVD of Born Free - first time I've seen it but those of you who have seen it will know that at the end the lioness Elsa whom they have liberated back to the wild comes back to show off her 3 lion cubs. Well I just sat there and howled ( sav blanc probably did not help!) I was howling because I was thinking about how Elsa had her cubs and I didn't have any and how normal and natural it is for the female of the species to have babies but I didn't. 
Felt very silly about the whole thing but isn't it funny what sets you off!!
Also got my period Christmas day which probably didn't help.
Hope everyone is having a good break.
Lots love Joanne


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## Tracylou (May 6, 2005)

Joanne

sorry hun, I know I don't know you but I can so relate to how you are feeling and just thought you deserved a bit hug 

Lots of Love
Tracy
xx


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## Bangle21 (Dec 17, 2004)

Hi Joanne,

I'm sorry a nice relaxing evening ended up upsetting you so much.  It's so hard when this just hits you totally unawares ...

If it's any consolation, alcohol does the same to me too.  I can remember (after a few vinos!) just looking at myself in the mirror, with a sexy nighty on thinking "my boobs are a waste" .... and of course the more I looked at myself crying in the mirror, the more I just cried and cried ....  It's so hard.

It's only natural hun, the emotion has to come out some time and if it means a little alchohol helps things along the way, then so be it.  I'm just sorry it ruined a nice night for you.  Why do these feelings always tend to surface at the most bl**dy inconvenient times eh?!!

Sending you big hugs and understanding,
Love Gill xo


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## Gen (Dec 9, 2004)

Hi Jo,

I'm just having a glass of red while reading this and I'm trying hard not to start   as I read these posts.  I'm trying so hard to motivate myself to do anything!! the last couple of days.  

Hope you're feeling better today. My trick is to just take one day at a time and resit the urge to start feeling -ve about myself.  It's not easy but I can only try.  A relaxing hot bath can help, or watching a good comedy with a storyline which doesn't include babies!!. I'm going to try and get to the pictures later to see the film 'Stranger than Fiction'.  

These things are only temporary distractions from how I really feel, but I figure that giving myself as many breaks as possible helps.  I'm also watching less T.V as there area so many commercials and hidden messagas on telly emphasising family the "family unit", and children in relation to the magic of Christmas.

This is a very hard time for just about all ff's still waiting for their miracle, or deciding to move forward in a new direction.  Just want to let you know that you're not alone hun  .

Wishing you all the best for 2007,

Gen x


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## Tibevora (Mar 22, 2005)

Joanne

I was just lurking but saw your post and wanted to give you a hug  . I also got my AF on Xmas day, how unlucky are we and I also cried in Church because Mary was having the baby Jesus, now thats daft!! 

Take it easy and I hope you are feeling better soon

Tibevora


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Dear Emma
I have just read your posting with sadness...i can see why you got upset, because this film highlights nature and what seems a natural event. Its about life and animals and it portrays such innocence and it is apart of nature...I think its to do with the nurturing and that comes out within the animal kingdom and because animals have no inhibitions....thats what i find so enchanting and mesmerising, but also as you say it brings home about our own infertility. Also because it is so natural i have been known to sit and cry throughout a film, or documentary because it seems so pure..I hope those feelings are alittle bit better today, i don't think it helps at this time of the year. Maybe it was meant to come out, the tears and the emotions were probably going to rear their ugly head at some point..
Thinking of you!!
Lots of love astridxx

A message for Tibevora...i am so so sorry that your treatment failed and on christmas day. I really feel for you and your partner...xxx


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## jomac (Oct 27, 2006)

Hello gals
thanks for your lovely replies. I'm feeling better now though the feelings will return at sometimes as they always do.
Oh Tibovora I feel for in Church on Christmas day.
Lots of love from lovely sunny NZ 
Jo


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Dear Joanne,

I don't think you have lost the plot at all! The plot is that you are a caring, sensitive and lovely woman who has kept her heart open with a sense of wonder despite all the hardship you have been through. You are still on that plot. A wrong turn in the plot would be to find your heart had hardened and closed down. ("Oh, that was interesting, dear, would you like some cheese and biscuits?")

An open heart can hurt, but only an open heart can help you to find your way forward. Only an open heart can give and be filled with love. 

Cry for the lions, cry for yourself and keep your heart open to giving and receiving love.

I am sending some! Jq


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