# New and confused!



## JFizz (Oct 16, 2012)

Hi all, 

I joined FF a few weeks ago, only just found the courage to post something but reading some of the posts on here has been really helpful at times. I'm 26 my partner is 29 been TTC for 18 months. Found out in August that my partner has a low sperm count of 30,000. We are still having test done but have been told that ICSI may be an option for us. We go back to the gynecologist at our local hospital in December to be referred to a fertility clinic. Still in shock about the whole thing and can't believe it has happened to us.

Wondering if anyone else is at a similar stage or can offer any advice?

Thanks


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## ange7327 (Oct 28, 2012)

Hey Jfizz,

Im sorry you find yourself here but it is a fab site with tons of advice and support on offer  

I dont have any words of wisdom for you except good luck and keep smiling........not always easy i know.

hugs

ange xxx


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## JFizz (Oct 16, 2012)

Thanks Ange, 

Looks like you have been through a very difficult journey so far, good luck to you too. I will try to keep smiling  . 

x x


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## C0nfused (Apr 13, 2007)

Hello! Welcome to FF, JFizz!!! Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you.
Here are a few links that I think might help you. 
IVF General chat ~ CLICK HERE
ICSI chat ~ CLICK HERE
Keep a diary of your treatment (or read the experiences of others) ~ CLICK HERE
Cycle Buddies (undergoing treatment at the same time) - CLICK HERE

Fertility Investigations - CLICK HERE
With regards to funding: http://www.infertilitynetworkuk.com has a wealth of information.
Male factors ~ [url=http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=35.0]CLICK HERE]http://www.infertilitynetworkuk.com]http://www.infertilitynetworkuk.com has a wealth of information.
Male factors ~ [url=http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=35.0]CLICK HERE
Regional ~ CLICK HERE
What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~   CLICK HERE
Our live chat room has a new member chat at 8pm on Wednesday. Here is our Chat Zone section which will give you info on other chats: CLICK HERE
Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it. We go through all the highs and lows of treatment together. 
Good luck!


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## AngelFace84 (Nov 20, 2012)

Hi Jfizz

me and my husband have been trying since April 2010, he has a low sperm count and i am waiting for results from a hysteroscory test but been told with his problem we will get a urgent referral to the Canterbury hospital for IFV from our local one in Medway (not really sure why) It is a shock and some days are worse than others but i try to be strong in front of my husband as he feels its all his fault and i dont want him to be more upset but hard to keep it in all the time!  You seem to be waiting all the time and a month seems like a year!  I dont want to wait forever so looking into going private but not sure whats best as unclear how long the wait is and i dont have much faith in NHS as after my husband appointment the doctor says he was writting a urgent letter to be referred, that was 5 weeks ago and havent heard anything to find out after my husband chased it the other day they hadnt even wrote the letter yet as the ladies who write the letters have all been sacked!!!! 

Hope it helps hearing other stories
Love AngelFace84 x


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## angie1 (Sep 14, 2012)

Just wanted 2 say hi. We also only found out in August there was a problem n lyk u say it was a bolt outta the blue. Didn't think n e thing was up but did checks 2 b on safe side as sister had unexplained infertility. Wen the doc said ivf was our only option tried so hard not 2 cry as knew dh was gutted. Comin outta the room n seeing a young couple wiv a toddler n baby pushed me ova the edge. This site has really helped me cope n hope it does u 2. each tym we go 2 the docs seem 2 get more info we shud a had earlier n then get here in a panic! Just wanted 2 say get where ur comin from n hopin the best 4 u.


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## JFizz (Oct 16, 2012)

Thanks COnfused for all that info.


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## JFizz (Oct 16, 2012)

Hi AngelFace, sad to hear that you find yourself in a similar situation but also comforting at the same time, I'm not too far from you, we are currently being seen by Pembury hospital in Tunbridge Wells. I know what you mean about trying not to make your partner feel any worse than they already do, I tried holding my feelings in though and that just sent me potty! It seems hard to find that balance of supporting him and looking after myself. Sorry to hear you've had problems getting referred to Canterbury, I work for the NHS so know nothing happens quickly you've got to keep chasing them. We have thought about going privately but found out that we will get one go on the NHS so going to save the pennies for now and give that a go. Do you know what they offer you at Canterbury in terms of treatment on the NHS? 

JFizz x


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## JFizz (Oct 16, 2012)

Hi angie1, glad the site has been helpful for you, think it will be for me too, thanks for your kind words. 

JFizz x


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## AngelFace84 (Nov 20, 2012)

Hi

Thanks for replying to me,was the first and was about to give up on this!  It's not until I got on this site that I realised how much I didnt know about it all really so been doing a lot of research into ivf and the hospital!  We have looked at going private but I'm worried about money and if it didnt work which I know I need to think positive, my husband says the money shouldn't come into it which he does have a point but think I'm angry about everything and why should good people have to pay for something that so natural!  Just can't wait forever for the NHS as we are getting older and dont want to wait anymore.  We got a letter in the post this morning from my husband doctor telling our GP to refer us to a specialist clinic which I guess is canterbury but that's all it said so a bit disapointed there wasn't more info and waiting ages for that letter and now to chase them!  I used to work in tunbridge wells for a year but couldn't handle the drive anymore!  What stage are you at?  I just wish I knew how long the NHS was going to take as find it hard not knowing!

Love AngelFace xxx


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## JFizz (Oct 16, 2012)

Me too, i'm a nurse, but apparently knew nothing! I'm glad I came on here early as it seems that there is a lot you need to know that the doctors don't tell you. I know what you mean about money, I worry that if it doesn't work how will we afford to keep trying etc. Just feel lucky that we have found out now whilst we are young so we can afford to wait a little while. I don't know how long the NHS takes, think it varies from place to place. 

My DP got his results from the GP in august, we were seen by a gynecologist in tunbridge wells in October, told that my DP needed more investigations which he is having done at the moment. I go back in December for an ultrasound and they said that we will have to pick a private clinic and be referred after that. I have tried to stop thinking that it will happen soon and accepted that this is going to be a very long journey. 

JFizz x


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## JFizz (Oct 16, 2012)

Have you looked on here? http://www.hfea.gov.uk/ it tells you the NHS waiting times if you search for your clinic.

x x

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## AngelFace84 (Nov 20, 2012)

Hello
Thanks for that website, found helpful!
I had a internal scan done in October but haven't had my results yet but this is the last test at Medway hospital, got a appointment with my gynecologist end of January so I guess if nothing wrong with me then they might offer a different treatment!  Now got to chase our GP to get us referred, I wonder when we go to the new clinic we would have to do the test again!  The blood tests have been ok but didnt enjoy my internal scan to check my tubes but I'm thinking its a good thing as getting me prepared for child birth lol! What sort of nurse are you? I have a few nurse friends!  
I used to put time scales on it but try to think it will happen when it happens,we are going to look at booking a holiday to take our minds off things!
Xxxx


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## JFizz (Oct 16, 2012)

Internal scan sounds uncomfortable, I haven't had one yet but sure I will get to experience that delight at some point! Was your internal scan routine or because you had some problems? Do you know what your husbands sperm count is? My understanding was that the gynecologist referred you onto the fertility clinic once all the routine tests were done not the GP. Seems crazy that your being pushed back and forth between doctors must be very frustrating!

I'm a mental health nurse so limited knowledge of this area, the emotional coping skills are coming in handy though! Holiday sounds like a great idea, we are going away for the new year, decided we would see in 2013 in style, since 2012 has been so rubbish for us.


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## AngelFace84 (Nov 20, 2012)

Hello

My husband count was 1-2 million but they say should be at least 20 million!  We both had test at the same time at the doctors so they referred him after his test came low and they referred me as I had a internal check by the GP and said she couldn't feel my ovaries and they should be able too and also my periods are a bit funny, can be as short as 14 days apart and up to 34 days and only bleed for 1-2 days,so I got referred too!  When I had my scan I didnt mention my periods and one side was fine but when they had trouble seeing where the dye went they ask if my periods were normal but I don't count as irregular as they are over 45 days!  Abit worried why we have gone back to our GP now so going to go down there Tuesday and ask,just says please refer them to a  speacalist clinic as need further investigating but that's it doesn't even say where!  Very stressful!  The internal was great but something that needed to be done I guess, the first bit wasnt nice as had a  catheter fitted but once that was in it wasnt that bad and the nurse was nice and chatted to me!  Still no results though!

You going anywhere nice new year?  We are both working!  Maybe by seeing 2013 is style will hopefully be lucky for you both xxx


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## JFizz (Oct 16, 2012)

Yeah I was a bit shocked when I found out how much it was supposed to be, you'd think 1-2 million would be enough. Maybe your GP has to refer you to the fertility clinic because of funding or something, sounds like a good idea to go and check it out with them and hurry them up. I hope you can get there soon so at least you know where you are. 

We are going to Las Vegas for new year which should be amazing, i'm really looking forward to getting away. You have any ideas for holidays? What do you work as, do you have to work new years eve? 

xx


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## AngelFace84 (Nov 20, 2012)

Hi

Maybe funding but def going to go down Tuesday and find out why its happening like this as feel like a yo yo!  I am a manager of a retail shop and my husband a policeman so we both work all over Christmas,its ok as we just do our own Xmas day a few days before!  He has managed to get Xmas week off but I only have Xmas day and been lucky to get Boxing Day off!  We are both working new year eve and New Year's Day but I don't mind as got the evening together so just going to have a nice meal and chill out together!  Wow Vegas I have always wanted to go there,husband meant to be taking me for my 30th but hard to plan thing that far ahead as dont know where we will be,hopefully by then in a good place!  You been before?  We might try a cruise or Mexico but will be a last mintue deal!

Xx


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## JFizz (Oct 16, 2012)

Yeah not very good jobs for public holidays, i'm lucky that because i work in the community i get all the bank holidays off. I've not been to Vegas before so will have to let you know what it is like. If only we had a crystal ball so we could know what will happen in the future, i think the uncertainty has been the hardest thing to accept. Naively you just assume that you will get a job, buy a house and have a family. Hopefully we will still get there and be stronger for all we have had to go through. 

I have been to mexico and loved it, would definitely recommend it. Hope you get some answers Tuesday, let me know what they say. xx


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## AngelFace84 (Nov 20, 2012)

Thought about going to see someone who can reads cards but wouldn't want to hear something I didnt want to hear so maybe I leave that alone lol!

We went to Mexico on our honeymoon and love it we just want to go back and back!

Yes will def tell you what they say, just hope we get answers!

We can be strong for each other  feels better to talk to someone that's in the same boat 
Xxx


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## JFizz (Oct 16, 2012)

Yeah that might not be what you need right now. Sounds like Mexico has happy memories for you, although I always find that things feel a little better with some sunshine and a cocktail! It's definitely good to talk to someone going through the same thing and not be told for the hundredth time that I just need to relax. xx


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## AngelFace84 (Nov 20, 2012)

Ha ha that actually made me laugh, just relax and it will happen!  

Sunshine always helps!

Have a good week, forgot I'm working Tuesday so will go to my doctors Wednesday on my day off and won't leave until I find out whats going on and will keep you updated xxx


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