# Moppit's Long Journey to become a Mummy



## Moppit (May 8, 2007)

Have taken so much solace from reading other people's experiences on this thread that thought it was about time I too started a diary. My story begins 2 and a half years ago when I went to the GP having come off the pill when my periods did not come back. After various blood tests I was shocked to discover that at the tender age of 31 I was going through an early menopause and was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure. DH and I were knocked for six. I have wanted to be a Mother for as long as I can remember and to have that taken away from me was devastating. After visiting a specialist we were told that our only chance of having children was to use donated eggs. We decided immediately to do this and I was overjoyed at the thought that I might still be able to be pregnant and to have DH's child. Sadly though fate dealt us another cruel turn the treatment did not work. We will never know 100% why but after investing yet more money in tests with a US hospital we were told that DH and I share a common genetic thread called DQ Alpha which would make my body reject any embryos made with his sperm. It was good to hear a reason but we just couldnt believe how unlucky one couple could be. POF at 31 is pretty rare and then us being 'incompatible' is also pretty rare. 

After all this we decided it just wasnt meant to be and stopped treatment to start the adoption journey. We attended an open morning in November 2008, met social workers for the first time in January and then had our Prep groups in May. We are now mid way through our home study and getting a little closer to achieving our dream. We are set to go to panel on February 9th so have that date to work towards and then well who knows how long it will be before we are able to bring a child or children home.

I will never give up but sometimes it feels like we have been fighting for ever for this. I know that when we get there it will feel so sweet but I wish every day that it would be quicker. I am so, so desperate to be a Mum. I am surrounded by people having babies at the moment. This weekend alone I have had 2 baby showers and my best friend gave birth 3 weeks ago. Its all a constant reminder of the fact that we are still a long way from achieving our dream.

We will get there in the end but this feels like a very long journey to be a Mummy!

Moppit x


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## Moppit (May 8, 2007)

Time to update the diary... need to get a bit better at writing on this board so that my journey is properly documented. 

Returned recently from a fantastic 2 week holiday in India. Just what we needed, time to get away, spend time with eachother and reflect. Also a good place to put things in perspective, you cannot go to India without realising how lucky you are to have everything you have.

The homestudy is now moving on apace. We only have 2 or a maximum of 3 sessions to go with our SW and it is starting to feel quite real. My mood goes from being incredibly exited to being plagued by worries - Can we really do this, are we doing the right thing, how will we cope etc etc. I know this is natural but I didnt expect to feel like this. I think its that we are starting to have more discussions about the type of children we might be matched with and matching criteria and it cannot help but make you think hard about all the issues you could be faced with. I really wish just once our SW would be positive about the joys of adoption. She only ever focuses on the negatives and how hard it will be. I know this is to make us aware and face up to this but sometimes it would be nice to hear a happy story!

All our references have now been done and seemed to go well. I was very concerned when I got back from holiday to find that the SW was very concerned about the relationship between my parents and brother (they are sadly estranged). She has now interviewed him and my parents and although I know she still sees it as an issue (which I understand) I think she feels that my DH and I are fully aware of the implications and know what we would have to do if there was any sign my parents were not accepting our adopted children. So difficult to have all these things raked over again and again especially as this is out of my control and not my decision but it has been helpful to make us talk about it as a family and I have been able for the first time to convey my feelings about it to my mother and to make her see that her actions over the breakdown of the relationship have effected not just her and my brother but many other people very deeply.

Have decided to sign up for the London Marathon. May seem a bit crazy with everything else going on but I think it will be a good goal to have whilst everything else is going on and something for me to focus on whilst we are going through this process and waiting for a match. I had hoped to run for an adoption charity but no places available so running for a disabilities charity instead.

Right thats it for now. Need to do our homework which is all about matching criteria and look at some sample profiles to see what we think. All very hard....

Moppit


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