# New to site. Just started 4th PGD IVF cycle *



## 4timelucky? (Oct 11, 2007)

Hi,

My name is Jayne.  Not sure what I am looking for on the site but it's comforting to know I am not alone.

I'm having a really bad few days.  Next week will be the 4th anniversary of when our baby Max was born.  I found out at 23 weeks the he had Edwards Syndrome.  It's a condition that means the baby is 'incompatible with life'.  We were advised (as much as they can) that a putting our baby to sleep would be the kindest thing.  Most Edwards babies don't survive the pregnancy and of those that don't the majority die with there first month.  So we took the advise of the professionals at Kings college.  To this day I still don't know if we done the right thing.  The guilt will never go away.  We had been trying to conceive for over a year and our baby was so loved.
Because I was 24 weeks by this time I had to go through labour.  Everyone is very supportive but it makes me so angry inside when people talk to me about giving birth as if I never had the experience.  
A few weeks after having Max some test results came back that told us my husband had inherited a balanced translocation.  In short this means that he is fine but we have a 1 in 4  chance of any natural conception resulting in a baby with Edwards or down syndrome.
We decided to embark on Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis, IVF but the embryo's are tested for the chromosome abnormalities before healthy ones are transferred.
We eventually started our first cycle in 2005.  Although we are doing this through NHS and Guys we had to fund the 1ts cycle.  Next two were funded and now we are on our 4th cycle which we are paying for again.
I started down reg last Saturday.  I the past I've been given the nasal spray but due to shortages(!!!) to my suprise I have been sent injections this time (no advanced guidance on how to do them!).  All going fine at the moment but on things on top of another and I'm feeling a bit down and alone right now.  My husband is a wonderful support but it would be nice to speak to other women in similar situations.

Anyway, sorry for the going on.  I actually feel a bit better already.

Jayne


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## emsy25 (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,

Just wanted to say hello and welcome.  Sorry to hear of what you have been through, good luck with your current treatment.

Emma
x x x x


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## 4timelucky? (Oct 11, 2007)

Hi Emma,

Thanks so much.  Still trying to find my way around the site.  There's so much info on here.  Think I'll log on for next weeks New member chat.

Have good w/e
Jaynex


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## ♥keepinghope♥ (Nov 28, 2006)

hello and welcome

sorry you have had such a hard time with it all. there are plenty links on here with girls at the same stage as your self. have had 2 failed attempts and feel gutted but the thought that one day i will have  a baby keeps me going.and i hope the same feeling will keep you going too..

good luck keepinghope xx


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## 4timelucky? (Oct 11, 2007)

Hi,

Thanks for your reply.  I just have to beleive my time will come soon.
Sounds like you've had no luck on your side so far.  Lets hope thing change soon.

I'can't beleive how many heartbreaking stories are on this site but it's so good to read the positive outcomes.

Jaynexx


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## lindz-lou (Jun 5, 2007)

Hi jayne ,

so sorry to hear you have have a real rough time , you have come to the right place we are all here to help each other !!

Take care x

Lindsey


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## 4timelucky? (Oct 11, 2007)

Hi Lindsey,

Hope your 1st cycle is a success.

Thanks for you reply
Jaynex


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## lindz-lou (Jun 5, 2007)

Jayne ,

Ive sent you a few bubbles for luck with your next cycle    

Lindsey


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## 4timelucky? (Oct 11, 2007)

Hi,

Would do the same for you if only i knew how!!

Thanks
Jayne


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello Jayne, welcome to Fertility Friends. 

So very sorry to hear about the loss of your precious Max. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I do knwo that significant dates like this are always so tough to deal with. 
Did you have or were you offered any counselling after the loss of your son? It seems to me that you have great feelings of guilt and anger that you are struggling with, although, the fact that you have been able to come here and talk about them so frankly is a good thing I am sure. I do't think anyone could ever realistically expect you to "get over" something like you have gone through but, I think, in time you learn to adapt and incorporate the experience into who you are.

We have a section on this site for ladies to remember their little angels, if you want to set up a rememberance page for him. I will post a link:

*Forget me not ~ *CLICK HERE

You might also benefit from support from this area too:

*Pregnant after loss ~ *CLICK HERE


And here's a few more links you might find useful:

*Meanings ~ *CLICK HERE

*IVF General ~ *CLICK HERE

Why don't you pop along to the *Cycle Buddies* boards and join the other ladies having treatment at the moment. Your best fit would be to join the October / November group here:

*Cycle buddies Autumn Angels ~ *CLICK HERE

You can "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people from the same clinic as you.

We also have a newbie night in the chat room every week (see link for times / dates), where you can meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.
 CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

If you want to blow bubbles you will see the words "click to blow" in the side bar under the member name. You can only blow bubbles when you have reached a certain post threashold (a fairly low one if I remember correctly) so if you can't see it, don't worry it will appear there soon. You can't blow yourself bubbles so it won't appear on your own side bar.

Wishing you loads of luck for this cycle.

C~x


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## 4timelucky? (Oct 11, 2007)

Hi Caz,

Thanks so much for your mail.  The links will be really helpful. I'll have to spend some time after the weekend looking into them. Only online quickly to get away from the football!

I didn't get offered any counseling but to be honest I don't think it's right for me.  I do openly talk about my feelings and I just think it's one of those life experiences that will always be painful and there are no right answers.  At first I couldn't bring myself to write honestly about what happened.  I worry that people will judge us but after reading other people stories I realised this site will only help if I am honest.

I think this is going to be a big help and comfort to me.

Thanks and again for you kind words.
Enjoy you weekend
Jayne


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi *Jayne* and welcome to the site 

You have come to a fantastic site full of advice and support and you have been left some great links to try out.

I wish you loads of luck with everything.

Kate xx​


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## 4timelucky? (Oct 11, 2007)

Hi Kate,

Thanks for you mail.  I've been sent some really helpful info.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do in the future.

Jaynex


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## *Scooby* (Sep 16, 2006)

Jayne

I just wanted to say welcome to FF, I am sure you will feel at home in no time at all.

All the best for the future

x x x


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## Karen26 (Oct 9, 2007)

Hi Jayne, so sorry to hear your sad story about the loss of your beautiful Max, am over in an unexplained fertility thread chat but felt compelled to welcome you and wish you the very best of luck for your next attempts. We will get there! Big hug!  
Karen xxx


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## 4timelucky? (Oct 11, 2007)

HI Karen,

Thanks for the good wishes and kind words. This site has already proved helpful.
Good luck to you too.

Jaynex


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## 4timelucky? (Oct 11, 2007)

*Scooby* said:


> Jayne
> 
> I just wanted to say welcome to FF, I am sure you will feel at home in no time at all.
> 
> ...


Hi,
Thanks for the warm welcome. It's making the treatment that bit easier knowing we are not along.
Enjoy your weekend
Jaynex


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