# Venting- just a little :)



## three_stars (Jan 19, 2006)

I just came back from a gyn appt and am so ******;  I went to a new dr nearer to my house, reccomended and known to deal with fertility issues.  My other gyn is away.

What a mistake!!  I basically got up and walked out.  What is up with these old nervous DR.s when they see you know what you are talking about, that you know far more then them and they just will not let you talk; tell you rather then listen to you; decide where you should or should not go; tell you it will not be your baby if you use donors; tell you should be happy with the child you already have; question you over and over about whether your partner is ok with this; tell you that you should use eggs share in Uk "because they speak my language"    all this when I repeatedly told him (tried anyway) that I have researched night and day for 6 months and I know what I am doing.    ARRRGGGGHHH!

Why do I feel like I just visited a DR that is a member of uk's HFEA??    he is not) he is in Paris;  I did not think for a minute I would have trouble getting my drugs here but he then started telling me he can not prescribe my drugs or tests when I am having treatment abroad; said over and over it is "tricky".  What is so flaming tricky about it?  In France you are either covered for medical and drugs at a certain rate or not.  It is not like in UK where it is up to the budget of each local NHS clinic.  Well the good thing is I can get most things paid for by myself at the pharmacy.  And the old gyn will be back in a week.

But honestly- we go through enough with out having to take this kind of trip from Doctors!


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## Womb with a View (Dec 7, 2004)

I am so pleased you walked out.  I always vote with my feet.  One might think we are living in the dark ages!  Why do some doctors seem to think they're counsellors?!!!!!  When they can do their own job to full satisfaction, maybe they can start counselling us too, but until then.....SHUT UP!  

It takes a will of iron to get through this IVF bog.  The tx, meds and BFNs are bad enough.  It is not for doctors to make moral judgments.  I'm not sure but I think I've read/heard somewhere that all doctors have to put aside their personal beliefs and treat the patient to the best of their medical ability.  

I hope you take your lovely baby back there one day and tell him exactly where he is going wrong!

xx


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## ElleJay (Sep 4, 2005)

Hiya b123 - 

Lost earlier reply to this - here goes again!

Are you sure the Dr wasn't the dreadful Olivia from DCN in drag?  He had no right whatsoever to lecture you, and is just a narrow minded wally - ignore the ignorant *****.

I had blood tests done privately at The Bridge Centre and it cost £650 - but I am sure you can get it done cheaper somewhere else.

Do you want me to ask Monica if she has any suggestions, or if prescription by fax to a chemist in the UK is a possibility?

Love 

Lesley
(really am off to dinner now!)


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## three_stars (Jan 19, 2006)

Lesley-    that gave me a laugh-  he WAS pretty old, ugly and wrinkly-  maybe it was her!!!!.... man, am I glad he did NOT do an u/s finally!!  

My other gyn hardly says a word but at least he knows how to write prescriptions and do scans.
Thanks for offering but do not worry I will be talking to Monica tomorrow anyway.  And I am pretty resourceful.
Thanks!
bonnie


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## Mindy-US (Mar 8, 2006)

B123-
I had to switch REs b/c mine wouldn't treat me either. My new RE still gives me a hard time about going abroad even though she new from the first appt she would be monitoring me and giving me drugs for my cycle abroad. 
I know what you mean with gynos. When I explained to mine what was happening and what our next plan was he told me that "sometimes you have to pick yourself up, brush yourself off and move on." I was floored that he was so upfront with me since it was a yr ago since my last check-up.


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## three_stars (Jan 19, 2006)

HI MIndy!
Yes my previous RE ( the one that I had my DD through on his first tx with me) this time around just basically said IVF is no longer possible .  Good bye!    I was too upset to even think much until later.  It took my a few months- through Christmas and all to get the ball rolling myself.  And while doing research on fertility stumbled onto these message boards- Thanks goodness or I might never have really known about clinics abraod.
Later I discovered that my RE does DE in collaboration with a London clinic.  Man was I pixxed!  He never even mentioned it to me.  Plus if he had done ICSI with the IVF we would have likely had some embies frozen.  Live and learn.  Honestly though I find that with gynos if they are not actually involved in IVF treatments it is difficult to get full support for what we are doing.  And then if you are not going to London or to Barcelona.... they look at you in shock.  As if Greece or Czech Rep where some kind of backwards third world countries.  It is just amazing to me how people can be so misinformed.  I guess that comes from travelling the world past 20+ years.  I forget what it is like when you have not ventured far from your comfort zone.
Honestly I wish I had a video recording of that gyn visit.  It was too unbelievable to be real.  And yet typical of what kind of attitudes we all face.
b123


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## three_stars (Jan 19, 2006)

MIndy I sent you a long PM but server went down and not sure it went through.  oops.  Let me know.


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