# BFN on day 13pt - feel a bit numb today....



## sammij (Nov 9, 2005)

Hey everyone

Have spent the last 2 days since the BFN being quite positive & trying to 'get on with life' but today woke up & i feel really numb - like i'm walking through mud  - does this make sense??

I've had a few tears - but i can't seem to have a full on sobbing session.  Have a fab DH & parents are close, have also received calls / txts from close friends who know about the IVF, but i just tell them 'i'm ok & yes we'll try agiain' bla bla bal......!!!!  doesn't help when 2 of my closest friends are 7 months pg & just had a 2nd baby.

Going back to work monday & in all honesty dreading it - work in a small office where they all know about the IVF and i think going through the questioning is going to be soo hard  - what do i say

Had all the usual q's going through my mind - should we change clinics etc but have decided not to & will try agian nov /dec, def need a few months break.

feel better now - what would i do without my FF's

lots of     &


for us all during this c***p time.

Samxx


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## Alisha (Jun 5, 2006)

Hi Sam
Just wanted to say sorry about the bfn,   . I think with the work situation just keep it short and sweet. Most of the time you don't have to say anything as people guess it hasn't worked. I've had 1 bfn but you've been knocked a few times and that must be hard, I think you're right about having a couple of months off the tx. Best of luck for next time and give yourself time   
take care 
ALisha x


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

awwww sam i'm so sorry hun, i wish i could offer advice but i was a complete b*tch after my ivf cycles failed, i think i was so awful no body dare ask me anything. taking a break is a good idea otherwise you could wind up getting lost in all the tx.  take some time to yourself and remember you are more than just infertility  hope this makes some sense 
take care and best wishes for the future hun

pam xx


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## Catb33 (Aug 1, 2006)

Sam - what you say makes perfect sense. Sorry to hear about your bfn   

I'm 5 days post bfn now. Like you I started off thinking positively but gradually slipped into a kind of limbo. I've just had a session with my counsellor which has helped enormously. Although dh and I are able to talk pretty openly about everything that's happened and how we feel, I find my time with her is a chance to talk it over with no fear of putting my foot in it or saying the wrong thing. She has suggested we both take 2 weeks off away from everything so we can get ourselves sorted. Although I'm not sure where we can find two weeks, it sounds very appealing. However we manage to get a break I agree with the principal that we need to focus on each other, and getting over the horrible news, before looking towards any more tx.

Have you tried counselling? It's not for everyone, and I'm lucky that I found a good counsellor through my gp, but it may be worth considering. 

Good luck with going back to work. Going into a small office can be hard. As Alisha said, keep it short and sweet. 

Take care  

Cathie x


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Sammi... I'm so sorry hun to hear of your bfn, it is so hard. Just take time out if you need it, even if it means asking your gp for some sick leave, some people are better off at work though trying to get back to normality (not in my case though) just a suggestion but can you text one of your colleagues in the office and say something short and sweet? ie, _tx is over with for now, just want to get back to normality, would really appreciate it if it wasnt brought up for now. thanks for your support._
that way you can talk about it on your terms?

Good luck honey. X

*♥´¨) 
¸.·♥ ´¸.·*♥´¨) ¸.♥·*¨) 
(¸.·´ (¸ ;.♥.Ceri


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## sammij (Nov 9, 2005)

Thanks everyone  

Ceri - great minds think alike, i have already txted one of my work colleuges letting them know, so hopefully by the time monday comes i won't dread going in.

did consider taking some sick time, but as i have been signed off for the last 2 weeks, am now craving something else to take my mind off things - there's so much daytime tv you can cope with.

Sooooo fab knowing everyone on this site is there for you, i really don't feel so bad after reading the posts

You are all like my new best friends!!!

Samxx


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Oh Sam honey, I know exactly how you feel.. So sorry for your BFN hun. 

I work in small office too where most of girls aware of why I was off work, and I went back on Tuesday just gone for the first time.  I texted my closest work colleague and told her what had happened.  She then had a word with them and asked them not to mention it to me unless I mentioned it first.  So, I got lots of lovely texts of them, but noone crowded me or asked me lots of awkward questions when I went into the office which was great.  I did start crying on and off during the day and they just hugged me without questioning me which was supportive without being "In my face".  

Hope Monday goes ok for you and sending you lots of luck for your next tx.
Love
Tracy
x


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