# GUTTED. 1-3% chance of a natural pregnancy now that I am 40. HELP!



## ulman (Apr 9, 2011)

HI. I've been through two IVF cycles on the NHS, both failed.  Now I am told my chances of a natural conception is 1-3%. 
My FSH levels have been from 4 to 24 over the last few years when i started on this.

Our only options now are ED abroad and one last IVF (chances of success are about 15%)

We will have to pay for this treatment of course.

Has ANYONE had success naturally with similar odds

thanks


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## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Dear Ulman
   

Admittedly my FSH was lower than yours at the time (about 7.5, I think), and I can't report a natural BFP but, after my first two IVF cycles (both BFNs), I was told, when I was just coming up to 42, that my chances of success in a third IVF cycle were a "couple of per cent". No-one even bothered to work out our chances of a natural BFP,    The "couple of per cent" for our third IVF was based on the length of time we had been ttc (9+ years, "unexplained"), my age, plus our 2 previous BFNs but I don't think it was really very scientific, and I would always take these kind of estimates with a pinch of salt as so much depends on your own circumstances (and, in my opinion,on luck).  When we started on the IVF trail when I was 40, we were quoted the 15% figure for OE IVF, so I think that it a general figure rather than anything based on specific circumstances.

We went ahead with a third IVF cycle anyway, again with OE, and this gave me not just my lovely little DD, whose EDD was a month before my 43rd birthday but also, I am pretty sure, a frostie from that third cycle ended up as our darling wee DS, who was born when I was a few months short of my 47th birthday.  (I don't know for certain which fresh cycle DS came from as we used embies from my second and third cycles for the FET.) For the FET, we were told "well, the chances of success for a fresh IVF with 42 year old eggs was a couple of per cent, so the chances of a FET success with them are obviously even lower...".

I don't want to give false hope - just to point out that stats are just stats.  Obviously, your FSH is a higher than mine was, but there are examples of ladies on this site who have had successful IVF with high FSH levels.  

I think, in your shoes, I wouldn't pin my hopes on a natural BFP (but that doesn't mean you shouldn't keep trying   ) but if you think that either an OE IVF cycle or ED is the right route for you, please don't be put off by the stats.  

Good luck whatever you decide.

Ellie


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## BECKY7 (Feb 2, 2011)

Ulman  don't give up hope and don't listen to % as I had DIUi and I was give 5% chance and got BFP but MC at 6 week 5 day  so I am gonna do that again next month  but sooner the better as you know times does fly and if your worry about money why don't you look into abroad to have TX as it way cheaper  as I am going to reprofit for my 2nd DIUI as it cost me €330 plus flight and 2 night of hotel.
Becky7 xx


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## Tabatha007 (Jun 16, 2012)

Hello 

I became pregnant naturally at 42 with a beautiful healthy boy but have been unable to conceive again naturally with my new husband of 4 years.  His sperm is fine and although I have a low reserve it is possible.  We were given the same choice.  A 1% chance with OE or 50/60 with DE.  At 47 it was a no brainer for me.  I'm not enamoured about hormone meds anyway but will bite the bullet for the chance to have another LO with my husband.  We have contacted IVI in Madrid and after a battery of tests and one visit are due to go mid December for the transfer.  Excited but it's so surreal and I'm much more anxious about this pregnancy than I was about my last one.  Things such as bonding, looks etc all worry me.  Then I read an excellent report about chromosonal transferance that 'can' occur when the baby and mother share blood.  That made me feel much better.

Just waiting on the clinic to tell us when to start the meds and we are good to go.  *bites fingernails*


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## zph (Mar 22, 2011)

Hi,

I'm not yet 40 (next year) but I feel I sit better in here as I too have low reserve and told chance of OE is 0-10%.

I'm currently on waiting list in Uk for DE, we are self funded but due to work commitments unable to travel abroad at present. We keep trying each month to concieve naturally but it's been over 2 years so not holding out much hope.

I found link on internet, which has helped me move over to DE, http://eggdonorsblog.giftovlife.com/epigenetics . I agree with Tabatha007 it really helped to accept this stage.

Hopefully our match will be found as our clinic have people waiting although I'm CMV Neg which isn't as common but still shouldn't be too long.

Zx

/links


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## ulman (Apr 9, 2011)

Hi everyone and thank you so much for the feedback, it really does make a difference to hear such POSITIVE stories. Thank you for the link about epigenetics too  I guess mostly I just don't believe it will happen to me, Ive always found it so difficult to imagine me being a mother. I think about it every single day and it hurts me so much.

I am really pleased for you all as I know how it feels, we're given the hormones and the 'wanting' to have a child but it just doesn't happen, it's highly unfair as I know of people who are terrible parents!!

I hope we are successful because it really is affecting our 12 year relationship. I am thinking things like 'if i meet someone else will i get pregnant with them, are me and my partner just not meant to be' etc etc.



Thanks for reading and replying 



xxx


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## jellyb40 (May 24, 2010)

Hi forgive me if uv already thought about this but have you looked at some of the better London clinics who specialise in older ladies and offer between 26-38% sucess rate for 40-42 year olds. I got pregnant both attempt at the argc with fluctuating fsh and immune issues. First one ended at 8 weeks sadly but this ones sticking!! If ur going for one last paying ivf maybe look at picking a really good clinic and trying here with ur own eggs.
My first attempts with nhs produced low quality eggs and no results. I think the nhs is lagging seriously behind the top clinics. It makes me so cross I wasted my time going to the homer ton hospital for 2 years when I should have bitten the bullet and gone private straight away. 2 years older and my egg quality going down hill. 

Lots of the nhs clinics are bad at judging when to take your eggs out and how much to stimulate ur system to get the best out of ur body. This is a hugely underestimated part of the process one which I've learned is a skill many of our nhs clinics are not hot on, for them it's one dosage fits all! 
I hope what ever ur choice it works for u though. 
X


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## smilingandwishing (Apr 24, 2010)

Hi there,

Please don't give up. I was given a 7% chance of IUI working at 40 and 15% if I tried IVF. I went with my heart and chose IUI. I was blessed with a BFP and now have a lively 20 month old son.  Yes it gets harder as you get older, but that stats are just that stats. If it's 1%, 7% whatever then someone is getting pregnant.

I think the advice to look for a clinic with a good record of success with older women is good. That is what I did. They are often not the cheapest per cycle but can work faster.

Sending hugs and good luck!

Smiling xx


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## ulman (Apr 9, 2011)

Thanks girls, yeah i desperately want my OWN child, so IVF is the most important for me/us.  I think it's time we looked at IVF in UK then but also as money is tight we may have to consider IVF abroad at a good clinic. The clinic I attended in UK was Gateshead and they work alongside a clinic in Cyprus so they were telling me a little bit about them, what I need is some figures of how successful they are and especially with women in my position and of a similar age etc.

Lots to think about and yeah sadly time is ticking by QUICKLY. 

Very difficult time as my partners family have no idea of our struggle so we are under a lot of stress, my sister and mother and a friend of mine know about it though so i at least have some way of talking outside of the relationship about it.
My opinion is that we should share this with the rest of family, like my in-laws because they may be able to offer us financial support instead of a wedding gift as we have no intention of getting married, and i think that they would be gutted if they found out we had struggles and all along they could have helped us.
I think my bf thinks he would worry or burden his parents with this info, they are in their 70's but still young at heart!
XX


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## BECKY7 (Feb 2, 2011)

Hey ulman
Yes time is thickly along and that is brilliant idea for your in law to help you out which I am sure they would as my in law are in their 70 but like you young at heart  but they haven't offer us any help   yet  And I would recommend serum and reprofit as they both had lots of success for over 40  so worth looking into it and reprofit is alot cheaper then serum.
I am going there for my 2nd IUI next month  exciting
Becky7 xx


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## LouGhevaert (May 18, 2009)

Hi Ulman

I agree - do stay positive about everything.

You may also find it helpful to think about a multiple plan of action to help keep you focused.  I completely appreciate your feelings about IVF.  If this doesn't work, ED and/or surrogacy might be options to consider depending how you feel - although you'd need to look at these carefully as they raise extra practical and legal issues too (especially if it involves treatment abroad).

Best of luck

Louisa


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## FireWolf (Oct 27, 2011)

Hi  , I agree stats are stats, try and go with your gut  

I was told my AMH was 0.05 , not sure what my FSH was, but I was given a less than 1% chance with OE. I am 43. I din't even try any treatments with OE, we couldn't afford the it financially or the heart ache, we could afford 1 shot. We decided on DE. Our donor gave us 6 fertilized embryo's.
We transferred two, got a BFP but miscarried at 8 weeks  , we tried again with two. I am now blissfully just over 6 mths pregnant with a singleton  . I do consider the baby as my OWN (but understand why you might refer to it a bit differently) It's my body that has grown it and given it a heartbeat it didn't have as an embryo. My body has done all that, without my body breathing life into this wee mite it would just be a bunch of cells. I am the one nourishing and loving it inside my womb. Most of us have periods every month, that we dispell from our bodies without a second thought...without my partners sperm and my body that's what this accumulation of cells would have been would have. So yes I do feel we have created and grown this gorgeous being inside me, that kicks my tummy as I type almost saying' Yes, Mommy, you are MY Mommy' 
The route we took was just a bit different at the beginning (like IVF is anyway) it is not for everyone (no more than IUI or IVF is) but the end result is the same your very 'OWN' gorgeous baby  

I do understand where you are coming from, I was there too. I just wanted to give you a glimpse of what it may be like should you decide on the DE route.

I wish you all the best and every success.


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## smilingandwishing (Apr 24, 2010)

Lovely post, Firewolf


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