# Going mad



## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

Hi ladies 

I am in that crazy space where you are trying to second guess the outcome. I am 7dp3dt and tested this morning. I know it's too early and I am ok with the fact it was a bfn as I know that the hcg starts to enter my blood tomorrow. But was just curious I guess. 

5 dpt I started getting extremely tired, and also my boobs have become massively sore. They feel so bruised I am wearing a bra all day and night. (I know this can be the pessaries) but for me the biggest thing I have noticed is a feeling in my lower tummy. At first I would have said a dull ache but now I would say I am just aware if something there, if that makes sense. Almost like a bruised heavy feeling. And the. Tonight I have started to feel very nauseous. Like I want to be sick. 

None of these I would associate with af. So in Hoping these are a good sign even though I got a bfn today!!!


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

I woke up today (8dp3dt) and so wanted to test. I know the hcg only starts to enter the blood today. But dh hates me testing early and didn't want him to get suspicious! But just want to know

Has anyone had sore boobs, heavy lower tummy, tiredness and nausea plus a negative 7 dpt and gone onto get a bfp

Damn I hate the 2ww I was so laid back at the start lol


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

It sounds as if you've got some good symptoms so hopefully they are pointing to the response that we all dream of.
I know of lots of ladies that didn't get their two lines till the last minute of their 2ww so don't be disheartened by not having yours yet.
On my positive cycles I only got a bfp on day6 evening time and this was with blastocysts so these are more advanced. Try again tomorrow but if no joy then hold tight... The otd is given for a reason and that is it's the most reliable day to test to get acurate result... Annoying I know but true!  
It feels so funny giving sane advice cos I'm currently 5days into my 2ww and been poas and convinced it's not worked... Talk about practice what you preach! Lol
Must take note myself!  

Good luck


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

Ps) I've just noticed we share the same otd!


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

Hi rainbow 

Thanks for your kind words. It does drive you mad doesn't it

For me I keep saying, if these are all side effects from the meds then why didn't u get any on my tx in July when I got a negative? 

We will have to keep each other sane. And away from the pee sticks. They are also from eBay. I paid £2 for 30. So not sure how sensitive or accurate they are lol


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

It sounds positive but we don't want to believe incase were wrong and we don't want to think they're not symptoms!
That's why the 2ww is such a terror!  
The only thing that will bring any relief is that poas showing two freaking lines... I remember the feeling of seeing them... Took the wind out of me! In a good way!
Hoping we both get that feeling soon.


I can't promise to keep you sane but I will try my hardest and I don't think I am gonna be a good influence in keeping you away from the sticks, I have plans for one this evening!  
Are your sticks called one shot? They are supposed to measure 10 but I don't know how accurate they are... Hopefully we will find out soon!  

Today I've had a couple of little niggles inside but just faint and I've had two hot sweats. Dp thinks my boobs are fuller but I swear he just says that so I offer him a prod every now n then... 

If nothing else achieved in our hunt for signs today then at least we are one day closer to otd!


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

Step away from the pee sticks! Especially in the evening when it's not as strong. 

I have no idea what mine are called. Just a strip lol 

I have had two more side effects today. So still watching for them, have been so so irritable. People in town were making me so mad getting in my way. And I have just had to sit up with heartburn and I have never in my life had it before lol so that was weird. But as u say it could still be the meds. 

I am holding off tomorrow. As the Info for transfer says the hcg can be detected day 11 of a 3dt. So I will holdout until Wednesday. 

Even then if I get a negative I will not take it as true as I know that frozen can sometimes implant later then fresh. That's why otd is Friday for us I thinks

Have you been working through yours?


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

I actually got my bfps in the evening of day 6 on my last two bfps! Weird eh? Nothing that morning but there in the evening... Just encouraged me to poas at every opportunity.... Terrible really   
I'm now an addict!

Shopping rage! I had that yesterday... Some woman just kinda stood right next to me n nudged herself infront whilst i was looking at clothes and i had to stop myself giving her words on spacial awareness!     I feel like I have bad pmt... It's better today though. Hope you managed to keepnit together!
As for heartburn... Another good sign! 

Good luck for Friday... Sensible option rather than constant poas!
I've been off work but I'm back tomorrow... Can feel the stress rising just thinking about it! 
You off for the whole 2w?
Where're u based ?


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

That's what I was like in town. I held it together but wanted to poke a few old ladies in the eyes. Lol 
That's what it feels like really heightened pmt. 

I have been real fortunate as I had been temping for a local company for 2 years. I went in on maternity cover for someone and stayed for a year. She then wanted to come back part time so they offered me a job share which was perfect. Them she changed her mind and didn't want to come back. So they offered me full time. But at that point I had got used to the idea,of doing 3 days a week. So turned it down. I said I would stay and assist until the found someone but only on a part time basis. They found someone but kept me there as a temp for another year. Finding me stuff to do. I asked about a perm job but they said only full time. So when I started my tx in June I took the decision to leave. And haven't worked since. As my clinic are in Norway I have to take 3 days off each time and the I though I would just take it easy. Lucky dh gives me money so I don't have to sponge off the state. Lthough I have worked all my life. 

I am based in Norfolk. Where are you?


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

That's really nice to be able to take time out and ttc, takes away some stress from it all.
I find it difficult to balance my job n ttc, especially on my fresh go as my clinic want you in daily, sometimes twice daily. Unfortunately I'm the bread winner (and somehow I'm also the sorter outer of most things) so although I would love to give up work and all things stress related it's so far from an option right now. 
Although sometimes I think work is a distraction... But today... On the eve of returning after a week off it just fills me with dread!
I live in London and work close to where i live which is handy so no stressful commute.


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

I must admit I am very lucky. Not only is my dh the bread winner he also cook, cleans and irons lol 

As much as I like working it has been nice chilling out and not have to think about anything. I was originally born in London. But parents moved out when I was about 3. 

Hope work goes ok tomorrow try not to get too stressed. 

How was the test?


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

Lucky you! He sounds ideal! Does he have a brother?  
Actually being fair to my dp he does do 90% of the housework...  

One shot cheapie test says no!
Rubbish thing that is!


I'm doing a cb digital in re morning n if it's a bfp I'm taking the day off for reasons of shock!
It's a bit like saying I'm gonna win the lottery at the weekend n blow out work on Monday... Far fetched but makes me feel a bit better tonight.

Keep me updated on your symptoms buddy! X


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

Way too early and like you say the cheapies are only there to ease our guilt about testing early and wasting tests! 

Let me know how you get on in the morning ! 

If not have a good day at work x


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

How did you get on rainbow? X


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

A 'NOT PREGNANT' for me today may as well have read 'your screwed' as that's how I feel ATM!  
I don't feel good about this cycle, felt wrong the whole way through what with late surge etc... 
I know I know it's early days n I must try to be positive! 

How about you? Still being good?


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

Hey Hun 

You are still way too early. Yeah I'm hanging on until otd. I have had a bad tummy today. So think that's the meds. Not nice though. 

I will be gutted if this one hasn't worked as the last one I knew hadn't but this one I just feel so different. 

How was work??


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

Your getting lots of side effects, it's hard to trust your instincts but I'd say the symptoms are looking good.
I've had a couple of twinges today but still really quite normal.

I'm still at work I'm afraid, finish at 7pm joy o joy.
It was a struggle to go in n then when I got there n saw my team it was ok but then psycho [email protected] from hell arrived (horrible colleague) and I felt oh god is this my life! Lol
I shouldn't take time off it's hard to reboot me into action! 
Tomorow will be better, especially if i get a bfp  ... Though my heads already thinking what next.
I hope I'm wrong about my feeling and I hope you are right about yours!


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

We are still too early Hun. And although I have symptoms they are also side effects so could both be wrong lol 

We won't know until we know! We have another 6 snow babies left yet. So we will go again. But just getting so drained with it all. Would like my life back at some point 

We have spoke of surrogacy. So that will be discussed if this doesn't work. But we are always hopeful. 

It's not nice when you have a colleague from hell. In my job before the one I left my boss was an emotional nightmare. She was up and down so you never knew what mood she would be in. Nightmare! Glad I am out of it.


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

Hey rainbow 

Have you tested today? I did a sneaky. Couldn't resist. And it was negative. So at least I am prepared for it. 

I know there is still hope as it could still be positive and just a late implanted. But for me it's just so frustrating as I have had sooooo many symptoms. 

Oh well. Won't know until Friday x


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

I'm sorry it's a negative today  
Mine was too.

I know it's early but we are conditioning ourselves.
Let's just pray it changes.

X


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

Hey rainbow

I'm sorry chick. It's not nice is it. Had a crap morning. 

We chatted awhile back about surrogacy which gave me hope that we would get a baby one way or another. Then I joined a ** group and had a real bad experience. Now dh has said he is not sure about it as there were some very unstable ladies involved. So now the back up plan isn't there. So had a big discussion this morning and we are so worn out by it all

Lets hope for a miracle x x


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

Hi rainbow 

How are you this morning? Did you test again? I haven't. Just going to wait til Friday now x


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

Still negative for me im afraid and I doubt it will change! 
You are strong not testing... Hoping Fridays poas comes back with two lines! Let me know how you get on?
Still have symptoms?


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

Hey rainbow

Sorry to hear. I don't think mine will change either. I still have bouts of nausea and headaches and also still have sore boobs but I know these can all be the meds. I just know if it stays negative my body has been evil this time as I have never had symptoms with my other negatives.


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

It will be Friday soon enough and u will have your answer, i just hope its a bfp for you.The time isnt going as slow now I know it's over for me. The desperation has passed a bit i feel resigned n am thinking of the future. I just came home without rushing back thinking I was gonna poas when I got in! Only when I got in n saw some tests had arrived for me did I think to pee on one... Just to check!  
It's torture I know but hang tight, your doing really well and seem quite composed n sane... Unlike me two days ago! Lol


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

The hard bit is that I feel pregnant. So it's like my body is playing tricks on me. I think I have just accepted it hasn't worked. So planning the next one. We did have a day of feeling like crap but you just have to get on with it. We don't have the luxury of waiting. So just have to crack on. 

Do you have any frosties?


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

You could still be pg Hun.. Tx symptoms n pg symptoms are similar, it's so annoying.
You haven't poas for days... You are certainly still in the game.
I done my fresh tx this year and made 13 blasts and I can hardly believe I have just two left... They are not very good, bless them, my two little ones left are the worst of the 13 but you never know do you? I won't give up on them and will thaw them.
I also have 4 day3s in my old clinic.
I'm just wondering if I should do a fresh over Christmas though, it really is the best time for me work wise... I can chill out and relax as much as possible.
The dr suggested pgd if we do another fresh so maybe it's time to do another n rule out an issue/get some answers.

What's your next steps? If this doesn't work... Which it may still...


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

Wow you still have so many options! 

We have 6 frosties left. So will look to go again in November / December for another 2. The problem is that we have them in a clinic in Norway and I have a phobia of flying. So hate going back there. 

We will us all our embies and then we will do surrogacy. I wish I could just fast forward and go straight to the surrogacy as I know I will get a baby. But have to give my embies a chance


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

Can't you use your embies with a surrogate?

The flying phobia must be such a extra strain to deal with


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

No we can't move the embies as Norway have different laws etc. so we have to use them there

I think if we do go surrogacy we would use traditional. Which would use the surrogates egg. That way I rule out all of the issues it could be. Ie my egg or my body. 

Yeah the flying thing is very hard. Especially when we flew home last time we hit a storm over stansted and it threw the plain around like a tin can. Nightmare!


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

Oh I see, I don't know much about surrogacy and just presumed your embies and surrogate as in carry the Embie. Is that the term host surrogate?
You have a plan and it makes sense, use up your lovely embies... Maybe your bubba is in there x


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

Yeah using your eggs and a surro would be a host. I didn't know much about it but joined a group and have spoken to many lovely surros. 

Hopefully we won't need too. And our baby is in one or two of our embies. But it's nice to have a back up plan x x


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

Did you test today Hun?


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

Yep. All over for me. As a bfn. So onwards and upwards. Will call the clinic tomorrow and see bout the the next one. 

How did you get on?


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

I'm sorry Hun... What a horrible feeling this is... Especially for you with your symptoms giving you hope. I had hoped you were right...  
I've known for days this was a bfn, tested again this morning with a first response but of course it's still a single line. Didn't even get an urge to do another one tonight... Well aware of my fate!
I've already spoken to anothe clinic n had some ideas on what's next...
Doesn't stop us being sad but gives us a way to go forward.

Xxx


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

I must admit this has been the worst out of all cycles we have done. My last negative I didn't even cry. But this one has been real and we have Ben crying and shouting and now feel exhausted. 

Are you at the Argc at the moment? Everyone tells me how great they are. And people keep telling me I should test my immunes. And as much as I believe in it. I also see ladies being treated for their issues and still getting negatives. So for me it's not conclusive enough if that makes sense

What clinic will you go to?


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