# Using donor sperm after husbands sperm count has dropped.



## KK86 (Dec 6, 2012)

Hi all.

Looking for someone in a similar situation we started ttc 2009 and found out in 2011 that DH had an extremely low sperm count. After m/c from icsi 2013 we managed by some miracle to conceive our little boy. Since his birth we have tried ttc again. Nothing so we had a sperm analysis which showed only a handful of non moving sperm.  
Now we are considering using donor sperm as we are desperse for baby now. 

I am worried how I would feel towards a baby using Donor sperm sconcerned we have a biological son

I would love to hear your stories any advice is welcome x x x x


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## Efi78 (Jun 26, 2017)

Hi KK86

Have you found the cause? Please see Dr Jonathan Ramsay

Other than that personally If I already had one child I wouldn't bother using donor sperm. I would stay happy and content with one. Why put my family through this and make life complicated? Life is short. Live it to the max with as little hussle as possible. Personally, if I manage to have one I m done.


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## KK86 (Dec 6, 2012)

I said that then I had my son. Then the natural urge to carry another child took over. Plus he loves other children and babies. I believe they should have a sibling to grow up with.


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## Efi78 (Jun 26, 2017)

See Dr Ramsay. He is great


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

May seem an obvious question but has hubby tried supplements? Have you seen a good urologist like others have suggested? Would seem rash to jump down the donor route when he has fathered a child, had success before. Often things can be done to improve his sperm.
We have sperm issues and a son conceived through ICSI, also miscarried in march with a second try, so understand your want for no 2. But personally what I would be concerned about is if you use a donor there's a chance this child could be treated differently, cause issues in your relationship if you even thought they were treated differently. Personally I wouldn't do it, I long for no 2, but couldn't imagine a little one who didn't share all the little genetic quirks we've noticed in our son. X


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## KK86 (Dec 6, 2012)

He has seen countless urologists as this is a life long problem he has. 

Yes he has tried every supplement under the son and  had countless courses of antibiotic.

He has just has a testicle removed and his count is now around 10 that's just 10 not 10 million with non moving.

This is not a 'RASH' Decision as we always thought we would have to go down the donor route our son is a living miracle even the Dr has said so.

We had no success with icsi I miscarried as our embryos were not good quality again they suspected it to be sperm quality. The whole IVF/icsi journey was a very traumatic one. Therefore we did not get any frozen.

As for genetics, genetics don't make a father. Plus it would still be my egg. 

In fact it was my husband who first mentioned using a donor. He has a step father and they love each other like father and son regardless x


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## MargotW (Jan 26, 2016)

KK - have you tried contacting Donor Conception Network?  They should be able to support you. 

All the people I know that have used donor sperm love their child completely. As you are aware he or she will have half of your genes and you can try and select a donor closest to your husband. I bet some quirks aren't genetic at all, they are just passed down from observation. Everyone on my mum's side of my family, cousins included are petrified of birds. That can't be genetic! 

If you have treatment over here you'll have to have implications counselling and hopefully that should iron out in your head some of the things that you are worried about. 

I wish you the best of luck xxx


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## MargotW (Jan 26, 2016)

KK I am not in the same situation as you as we don't have a child but our ICSI/IMSI attempts have been rubbish. My husband has been putting himself under so much pressure blaming himself and I have seen him getting so tense during cycles. Our consultant had said that we should move to DS if our most recent attempt didn't work. It' a relief to move on if that makes sense. This has been in the cards for quite a while so I have had the chance to get my head round it. 

Now the problem is finding the best match in donor sperm as that is when I become quite picky! The more info I harder I find it! There's one website that has info about the donor's teeth, my husband and MIL have rubbish teeth but I think that's a trait I'll try not to replicate 😉

Xx


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## KK86 (Dec 6, 2012)

thanks for the info I will definitely have a look. The clinic we have chosen don't let you look through their donors insta you tell them what you are looking for and they match you. Otherwise I think I would be the same as your.

Yes going through icsi is very stressful on the men and also us. If I'm being honest I wouldn't really want to go through it again after our experience.

I also agree I think the traits are picked up from observation. My sister commented on how alike and how much my DH remesmbled his father, she was so surprised to hear he was his step dad.

Yes we have had concealing before as I am also on the register to donate eggs should another lady need my help so I guess it would be similar. It was very enlightening and super useful.

I hope you get your baby, good luck with your journey. Xxx


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

From your response & CAPITALS it's clear I've offended you, which I'm sorry if I have.  Not sure how I managed that when you asked for someone's opinion who has been in a similar situation I have. My husband has medical issues, I too have miscarried due to my husbands poor sperm, we have very few sperm & I mean few, which has impacted our ability to get pregnant, we've never get any frozen, last cycle we spent £9K and got 1 average and 1 poor.  
I was offering my experience & how I would feel if I had a child not fathered by my husband, personally I'd rather stay as we are. You stated you weren't sure how you would feel towards a baby using a donor so I was offering what I've thought about being issues. But I think it's clear from your response you do want to go for a donor & if your husband is on board then that's great. 

Good luck 


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