# Spanish woman 'is oldest mother'



## Charlies-Mum

http://www.infertileworld.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=428



> A 67-year-old Spanish woman is reported to have given birth to twins according to hospital officials in Barcelona, becoming the world's oldest mother.


Is it just me or does this make your stomach turn thinking about the sort of life these twins are going to have - assuming of course that their mother lives long enough to see them grow up?


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## Guest

that is disgusting! it is sooo out of order. a womans menopause age is there for a reason ( sorry i meant 50+, no offence to you ladies suffering from early menopause  )
if we were meant to have children at such an old age we would not have a menopause at all! when she dies her young children will be left without a mother, surley no mother wants to put young children thru that! i know alot of younger mothers die too from things like cancer, but at conception you dont know that you WILL die within what? 10 years?
sorry for the rant, i just dont agree with this, a mothers job is to be there for her children until there old enough to stand on there own two feet at least.

hope i havent offended anyone  hugs, maz xxx


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## Athene

Sticking my neck out here.....

I'm not saying that it is right, but would you say the same thing if it was the *DAD * who was 67?

Celebrity older fathers include:

Tony Blair (at 45), Ken Livingstone (at 57), David Bowie (at 53), Mick Jagger (at 57), Phil Collins (at 51), Rupert Murdoch (at 72), Michael Douglas (at 5, Des O'Connor (at 72), Gordon Brown (at 54), Rod Stewart (at 60), Paul McCartney (at 61), David Jason (61), Eric Clapton (at 59), John Humphrys (at 56), John Simpson (at 61), Julio Iglesias Sr. (father of the singer Julio, at 89), Charlie Chaplin (at 73), Saul Bellow (at 84), Anthony Quinn (at 81) Pablo Picasso (at 6 and Luciano Pavarotti (twins at 67).

Just something to think about....

Athene


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## Charlies-Mum

A girl I went to school with was was sitting her a-levels when her father died due to 'old age' at 78. I remember the pain that she went through as a teenager (not that it is ever easy to lose a parent), but he never saw her finish school, graduate, marry or have children of his own.

I always said that if I didn't have children by the time I was 30 I probably wouldn't have them (as it happens the Bean is due a few days after my 30th birthday - might yet make it!  ). A bit harsh in retrospect but my parents were 'old' for their time (30 and 31 for first time parents - not exactly old!!!  ) and I know how that alienated me growing up from my friends families who I percieved as much more 'groovy and with it'.  I wonder how alienated I would have felt if my parents were old enough to be my grandparents??

Just my 2 cents....
Deb


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## Suzie

Interesting debate !


Athene you make a valid point about no one mentions the fathers age and that in the media it never seems to be frowned upon with the likes of michael douglas etc fathering children later in life. 

Personally i do agree with some of the comments but i also feel that any of us and i know its harsh to put it like this but can get run over by a bus tomorrow! 

Well i am approaching my 30th this year and it hasnt happened for me yet so guess i will keep trying. 

 to all
suzie xx


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## Charlies-Mum

Olive(Suzie) said:


> Personally i do agree with some of the comments but i also feel that any of us and i know its harsh to put it like this but can get run over by a bus tomorrow!


I agree but chances are you are more likely to die of old age than get run over by a bus. Buses you have a good chance of missing (are they ever on time!) but old age catches everyone 

I guess the difference is that people 'know' they are not going to get to see their children grow up if they have them later in life.


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## Suzie

I see what you are saying but then you could look at it like this, my grandparents are 79 and 84 and very active and young for their actual age , if they had had my dad even when my they were around 40 my dad would be in his 40's

hope that makes sense?

x


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## Charlies-Mum

I'm not talking about those in their 40s having children (that is a personal decision as far as I'm concerened) but when someone is 60+ and having children is that really fair to the child bearing in mind the average life expectancy?




p.s. just for clarification - the 30 year age limit is a personal thing for me. I wouldn't expect anyone else to stop trying (in fact I probably will talk myself out of it)   (hope this clears any potential misunderstandings!)


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## weeble

I certainly wouldnt keep trying in my sixtys & personnally wouldnt keep trying in my fiftys either, but I guess it depends on just how fit you are. I know quite a few people in there fiftys who have had tx and been successful and have made fantastic parents.

I also know a few people who think I should give up now Im in my fortys, but I will continue trying for another couple of years yet as I cant imagine anything worse than looking back and wishing I had kept going.

I lost both my parents at a young age (they werent very old either) and yes it was sad, but I was also very greatful for the love and support I got from my remaining family. I certainly wouldnt have had it any other way. I'd rather be brought up by parents who loved me, whatever there age, than dragged up by some bit of a kid that conceived me by accident.


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## allison kate

> I'd rather be brought up by parents who loved me, whatever there age, than dragged up by some bit of a kid that conceived me by accident.


Thank you Weeble!!!

I would have loved to have a child/children in my twenties but due to circumstances it was not to be. Now I am in my forties I believe I will make a much calmer, wiser mother than if I had concieved at a younger age. I am fit and healthy, DH and I are now in a position where having a family will not cripple us financially. To stop trying at the age of 30 I think is rediculous! My parents were both 39 when they adopted me and I never felt their age was a problem....their love was what was needed!

Although I feel that 67 is RATHER extreme, we must remember that fifty years ago life expectancy was less than 62 and eighty years ago 59 whereas today it is an average of 80. An age of a parent should be able to relate to these statisitcs.


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## Charlies-Mum

allison kate said:


> To stop trying at the age of 30 I think is rediculous!


Even I think it sounds silly - I guess I've just had it in my head for so long I can't get it out. 
I'm very definately a bit


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## Pilchardcat

Debs, I'm glad your wishes came true in time for your deadline. 

My wishes did not come true in time, but I feel exactly the same way as Allison, more financially secure, more knowing, more time to give, not rushing about between work & home. I did all that in my 20's/30's.  I'm happy to be in the increasing age group for motherhood, all of my friends are 33-44 and have young children. In fact the only youngester in our ante-natal classes was 23 (she was in the minority), everyone else was over 30, and they didn't have IF problems either, it was their choice to have kids at that age.   I'd like to think my child/ren will be happy to have me as their Mum no matter what age I am. I'm 38 next month and am still ttc, I'll continue as long as I can remain sane too, and if not then I'll have a bloody good life being a "yummy mummy"  !

Amanda x


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## Debs

The one thing that sticks out to me is that when there is a debate about ivf say on the TV and then they open up a web based message board for any comments etc - well its full of people saying things about this that and the other - when they have absolutly no idea about whats involved.

Now ive found myself in this position several times and I just want to scream at them "BUT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT IM GOING THROUGH" and ive come to realise that on topics like this - people dont understand.  I dont understand exactly what this woman is going through.  Yes part of me (well alot of me) says its wrong at this age to try for a child but im not walking in her shoes and dont know the full story so who am I to judge.  

My mum died when I was 6 (she had me when she was 43) - I am grateful for the time I had with her - and I had a loving family that looked after me when she wasnt about.  Plus - im 40 this year and any baby that comes my way will know how special they will be to me,  but again - people may say at my age im too old.  

At the end of the day these babies are here and very much wanted - and I wish them all lots of luck - the sad thing is that people (media) will be on their case over the next however many years and I just hope that the children arent made to feel anything other than loved by a woman who went to extrodinary lengths to have them knowing she would get critisised for doing so.

Love

Debs xxx


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## Luc

Hi, 

Thought i'd add my two penneth on the older parents issue. Although i have to admit at first glance i think 67 is a bit old, i do think older parents as in 30+ definitely have their benefits. 

My parents were 18 when they had me (17 when they had my sister) and split up two years later. Although my childhood was a bit unpredictable (lots of moves, many diffferent step dads, lots of time being dropped off at extended family whilst my mum lived her life and grew up herself), i knew i was loved and thought my mum was great.  I did think my parents were cool, my mum was more like a sister and for many years i thought i was dead lucky. But as ive got older i have realsied many of the problems my sister and i have are down to the fact my mum was just a child when she had us. i know she did her best and much better than most would have at that age but she made mistakes with us and many more so than she made with her children from her second marraige when she was in her thirties. 

I think an older parent has already grown up and is therefore able to give much more security to their children. I used to want to be a young parent (bit like my mum) but i think that on the whole more mature parents can give more stability, time, and more of themselves to their children than young parents often do.  

just another perspective and i know its not the same for everyone.  but i personally feel older may outweigh benefits of too young. 

I have to say also Debs i agree with your point people can never understand anothers situation and especially not knowing the details of the person makes it impossible to judge them.

Luc


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## Flakey

What an interesting topic. I had my twins at 37 and would still like to try for another later this year when I will be 40. Personnaly, I dont think that age is really a factor in good / bad parenting. Im sure there are excellent teenage parents and excellent 50-somethings too. Likewise, Im sure there are parents in there teens who are too immature to make good parents, and parents in their 50s that dont have the time or patience for babies. 67 is a bit extreme but there will always be those pushing boundaries and breaking stereotypes which isnt always a bad thing.

Flakey x


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## sue93

got to stick my oar in too...

So would the people here arguing against older parents (due to the chance of the child losing their parent relatively young) argue against someone with a terminal illness having children? 

My best mate had his kids (with my sister) when his MS was already fairly well developed (he was diagnosed at 1. In all honesty we all knew he was unlikely to live long into his 40s given how young he was diagnosed. He died 3 years ago when my nieces were 13 and 17. He was the most loving (and loved) dad - adoring of his kids, completely and utterly loved by them (and their mates).

I also lost both my parents when I was young (they actually had us all young, but both died young themselves). You really can't assume anything in this life.

Just a thought...

Sue x

(not that I've got a biased point of view given the age of my other half!  )


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## Danni

hi
I had my childrren ant 37 and 39 and when Im 42 will ttc even though I have fertilityproblems. My 1st was after many ivfs, the 2nd a natual conception and the thirs(if Im lucky) we shall see. Age is not a favtor in parenting, younger people make poor parents sometime but older people have the experience and wisdom to be great parents.

Im sure the woman in question has had many many decades of ttc-I spent 10yrs ttc my first but would I have gone on until 60? Very unlikely.

I believe there is a reason why most clinics have a cut -off of 50 and I do agree with that. My personal cut-off would be 50 but thats me, other may differ. For men its a bit different, no one raises an eybrow when they have babies at 60+ Why is that?


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## Charlies-Mum

More info on the story is available at;
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,243624,00.html


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## ZoeP

A friend of mine who read about the story in the Sunday Times said there was no father and she used donor sperm.  So she is the only parent if the paper was correct.  Also I have just read the link and it says she is now estranged from her family.  I hope her siblings and other extended family overcome their differences for the sake of the children.


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## Leanne

In my opinion a woman becomming a mother in her 60's is wrong. Not because she could die before her children start school but for other reasons. you cannot possibly expect a 67 year old mother to have the energy of a 30 or 40 year old. I had my twins in my 20's with alot of support from my family and a dh who got up every single night to help with the feeds. But i still found it bloody hard work.

I remember at school the absolute torture other kids gave my best friend because her parents were alot older than others. I spent many hours comforting her telling her to ignore the nasty comments she got, people referrring to her mum as granny etc.. They were the most loving parents you could come accross but she spent most of her school years being bullied.

I agree women go through the menopause at a certain age for a reason, it is natures way of saying thats enough. A woman who is severely underweight periods will stop, thats a sign to say her body isnt fit enough to carry a child. 

My mum brought 3 children up alone (she was of "average" age) She has my boys every other saturday for the whole day and admits it is alot harder at the age she is now (she is now 57) She says she doesnt have the energy she did at 30 and certainly doesnt have the patience. By Saturday evening she is exhausted and ends up in bed by 9pm!!!!

I think it is a womans right to decide when enough is enough, but i can honestly say if i hadnt been lucky enough to get pregnant i would not consider carrying on ttc after the age of 45. Thats just my personal opinion.


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## lucky_mum

More about this here (plus photos): http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/story_pages/news/news1.shtml

/links


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## roze

Not so long ago women in their late 30's and 40s were considered 'freaks' for having children at those ages and even now we can be judged harshly, a lot of which I'm afraid I put down to ageism and Western society's general negative view of older women and focus on youth culture, not maternal capability or life expectancy.

My mother was 46 when I was born - her first and only child conceived absolutely naturally and accidentally. I am sure there were people around who thought it awful that she was still having sex at that age.
She took a lot of stick but brazened it out.  I was also teased a little at school as both parents had grey hair and people told me that I must have been adopted. These comments did not cut much ice though as I realised early on that compared to a lot of my friends by parents had a lot to offer. They also stressed my independence and education and took a very laid back progressive attitude to my main backpacking trips alone around Europe and India.  They were fairly fit and I look back at photos of us doing active pursuits on holiday, hill walking, boating, etc when they were in their late 50's. They died when I was 30 (dad) and 32 (mum) both due to smoking related illnesses. A little too short for me but I had no regrets whatsoever about being born their daughter.

I will be slightly older than my mother when I give birth later this year and expect that we will be both around until our child is in his or her thirties as we are both in optimum health. And if this pregnancy goes well I will be going back for my frosties when I am 47.  I have spent a number of years trying naturally and not getting help from the NHS. Only when I had a financial windfall at 40 could I even contemplate going privately for treatment, and even with donor eggs this process has taken me 5 whole committed years to get here.

To those who say that the menopause, meaning 50+, is there for a reason, partly true these days but in the early parts of the last century people of all classes were lucky to live that long- so childbearing age capacity effectively was longer than life expectancy. Things are changing due to medical advances to why not attitudes?

If society and individuals want to frown on the older women becoming mothers it may want to take a long hard look at the reasons this happens in the first place, ie lack of family friendly employment policies and affordable childcare and prompt and readily available treatment for those with fertility problems. Cultural attitudes also need to shift so that parenthood is not seen as a career or financial setback. In Iceland teenage pregnancies seem to be encouraged and supported financially as the country needs to increase its population. In Germany women are getting much more financial support to have children for much the same reason. In the UK its still seen as the parent's problem ;at the same time government complains about the skewed ageing population.

My view is that these ( relatively few) women who choose to have babies in late 50s and 60s ,including those such as Dr Patricia Rashbrook who had a career in child health, must have thought things through, and personally I think that we should trust their judgement and leave them  in peace. I bet the children turn out just fine.

roze


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## Dolphin01

I'm sure she will do the best job that she can do no matter what her age.....

Hey maybe I could convince my Mum to have another she's only 58       

Luv Ruth xx


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## Tillyp

cleg said:


> i have nothing against older mums/dads but there has to be a age where TX should be refused for health + other reasons such as the wellbeing of the children as they grow, just feel sad that whoever performed the IVF procedure were obviously only bothered about the cash + not the long term implications that go along with been such an old parent


Apparently she lied about her age, she said she was 55.


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