# Just need to get it out



## dakota (Feb 6, 2007)

Just need to get this out as i keep feeling gulity/sad/hormonal etc

DP has told me he is ready to start again ttc. I too would love a little brother or sister for Lewis, but i feel 50/50 and i'm not sure why    
We were ttc 3 1/2 years untill i got pregnant with Lewis and i was in such a low low place before then i really dread going back to that place   I keep telling myself i wont be so obssessed as i have Lewis, but who am i kidding? I'm already getting upset writing my feelings here.
The other thing is, and i think this is where the excuse comes not to tttc so i dont have to put myself through all the crap again is after getting evicted from our old property (the day i came home from hossie with L) we are now in a lovely 2 bedroom house. We are doing it up slowly and out of everywhere i have lived over the years this feels like home iykwim? I keep telling myself i dont want to move and when friends ask if we will try again i tell them 'no because i dont want to move again' I know I'm usisng it as a front and feel so guilty for saying it, maybe im just trying to protectr myself? I just wish i knew all the answers and could see into the future

Sorry for the ramble, 
xx


----------



## Spangle122 (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi Dakota

I did not want to read and run, I wanted to offer you huge   
I certainly do not think you have anything to feel guilty about, you have been through so much in the last few years and now you are in a good place in a home you feel happy in with the lovely little man you tried so long for.

Maybe it is just you need a bit more time and in the months to come you will feel ready which is important you feel strong when you are ttc as it certainly takes it out of you.

Why don't you try talking to DP and explain your not quite ready to go through this yet and to give you abit longer to see how you feel and this gives you time to figure out how you want to go forward.

Godd luck hun, but please do not feel guilty for your feelings, alot of the time on this journey we cannot explain our emotions and need time to figure these things out.

Take care   

LOl Spangle xxx


----------



## Guest (Aug 8, 2009)

I think Spangle is right, you do need to talk about your feelings with DP. I think it is totally normal that any highly emotional experience is going to recreate those emotions in you when you are put in the same situation, or think about being in that situation again ie, the stress of ttc. My sis is pregnant with number 2 and she had a terrible pregnancy and post natal depression with DD as she worried constantly that there was something wrong. She is 26 weeks pregnant and hating every minute of it and is already worrying about the first 6 months with a new baby! For all she knows, she might be fine this time but it is just bringing back all her old feelings.
Give yourself time to sort your feelings out and work things through with DP


----------

