# Lesbians Having IVF Treatment



## Lisa139

Hi Everyone.  I'm new to this site and would welcome any advice and to meet lesbian couples who are or undergoing or have had fertility treatment because they haven't been able to get pregnant.  My partner and I have undergone 10 natural IUIs abroad all of which have been unsuccessful.  

We're on the IVF waiting list at Homerton (treatment to start in Sept).  In the meantime we're able to have 3 rounds of medicated IUI. The first round is due to start at the end of this month.

We feel very fortunate to have our treatment funded by the NHS but we do feel quite overwhelmed by it all.  All we ever seem to hear about are the lucky ones who get it the first or second go so we feel like we're the only lesbian couple who's in this boat.  This has been quite a difficult time for us so it would be great to hear from those of you who are or have been in a similar situation.  In particular, how you deal with the disappointment, anxiety and staying positive!


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## deemo

Hi there - we went to Homerton and were happy with them. Feel free to PM me for any questions! Every first Sunday of the month 2-4pm there is a meeting of Rainbow parents Positive East, Stepney Green which might be nice to come to. 159 Mile End Road, London E1 4AQ, it's next to the tube station.
We went there before we started trying and it was really nice to see so many families together and have a chat.


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## mintyfaglady

You're not alone. It took 19 trys over nearly 2 years (donor insems at home, IUI both unmedicated and medicated and finally IVF), before I fell pregnant with our first. My DW got pregnant on her second IUI (unmedicated). Feel free to PM me.


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## overDAbridge

Hi Lovely, 

youre not alone.  

Were not all successful first time. It is hard when you have to keen on trying and the badys are mulitplying around u thick and fast. 

Feel free to pm me or we can arrgange to meet up in chat. 

Bridge x


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## Chopio

Hi Lisa,

I'm scheduled to start IVF at the Homerton in September too! Well I'm on the 2WW after my 3rd IUI there at the moment but if that doesn't work then it's nice knowing there is a plan B coming up.

My experience there has been a bit up and down to be honest. Some of the nurses have been fantastic but there have been a bunch of mistakes and misinformation along the way from Drs and admin so we've spoken to our GP about moving our funding to another hospital. Are you self funding or NHS?


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## Lisa139

Overall, we have been happy with them.  There have a been a few things that have annoyed us but think that's mostly dealing with the NHS.  We're NHS funded so we feel very lucky to have this and not have to wait ages for IVF and to have IUI in the meantime.

We're be having our first IUI with them tomorrow so will be in the wonderful 2WW.

Good luck.  Hoping you're 3rd time lucky!

By the way I sent you a PM


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## kiwisa

Hi Lisa139

We are having our third IVF cycle at homerton right now. First and a FET were NHS funded. Didn't do any IUIs there, but they did monitor my cycles for IUI abroad. they have always been v helpful, and on waiting times etc think they have got a lot better in the last year and the consultants are excellent. 

Good luck with your cycle in September!


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## Lisa139

Hi Kiwisa,

Thanks for your message.  Overall we have been happy with Homerton.

Wishing you all the best for your current round of IVF.  Hopefully, you'll be time lucky.


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## Spellbound

Hi Lisa,

I am in the same boat, too.
I had 4 natural IUI and have just started with IVF lite. Currently I am taking Gonal F.
I am new here too and it´s nice to get the support from everyone here.

Good luck to you!!!!

Spellbound


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## Lisa139

Hi Spellbound,

It's nice to find a few more of us who are going through IVF.  We have our IVF appointment with the doctor tomorrow.  So the roller coaster will be starting again!  

Good with your round of IVF.  Hopefully it'll be your first and last round!


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## Spellbound

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to write to you. I had the EC yesterday. I am on ivf lite and we got 3 eggs but none of them fertilised. I couldn´t find a threat here on LGBT about that. So I am just posting you this.


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## Lisa139

Hi Spellbound,

I'm so sorry to hear about your news.  Have they arranged a follow up appointment with you?

I'm sure this must be quite a difficult time but hope you're doing okay.


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## Spellbound

Hi Lisa,
lovely to hear from you  
Thank you! Yes, I had a consultation yesterday and they said that one egg was abnormal. 2 eggs weren´t mature enough. I wish I hadn´t gone for ivf lite but for ivf standard instead. That´s what they are suggesting now and we have decided to go for it. It´s just a question of when as it´s very time consuming and I have already taken time off work to be here for the treatment.
Also, I could do with a nice holiday to relax!
How was your appointment at the clinic? When do you start?
All the best for you!


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## Lisa139

Hi Spellbound

Our appointment was fine.  The doctor explained the process, drug protocol and our chances.  I'll be on the long protocol and will be on the maximum dosage when I'm stimulated.  I have a low AMH (7.37) so that's why I'll be on the maximum dosage.  They also will do ICSI because we're using frozen sperm.  We've been told ICSI has slightly better results than IVF when frozen sperm is used.

We then have a nurse's appointment at the end of August.  They will go through the drugs I have to take.  After this we'll be ready to go.  

Have you been going abroad for your treatment?  We were told that the only day I would need to have off of work is when they do the egg collection.  When I have scans etc I’m able to go from work and back again.  I’m given the time off for this without using my holiday days because they’re medical appointments.  You should see if you could arrange something like this at work.  You can just tell them that you’re having medical treatment.  You might want to tell them it’s not life threating so they don’t worry.  If you have an HR dept ask them what the policy is for medical appts.  

Fingers crossed you don’t have long to get things going again.  I have to say you feel like you spend a lot of time waiting!


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## Candy76

Spellbound, sorry to hear the eggs they found didn't fertilise. Did they give you any reason why this might have been? I think sometimes you can just have bad luck. But some consultants told us that no matter how many eggs you get, there are only ever so many that are of good quality. I assume this is why people do IVF lite. But must be gutting if the theory falls down.
Hope your next cycle will be better!

Lisa, you don't have to have ICSI with frozen sperm. When I had IVF they wanted to do ICSI because I had failed IUI beforehand. So, they thought there might be an issue with the IVF. Luckily I had plenty of eggs. They did half IVF and half ICSI and kept the two parties separate. The IVF once did better throughout. Really pleased we gave it a go as I now feel more confident going back to IUI.
I suppose if you have only a few eggs you don't want to take the risk of IVF. We had ICSI with DW last year (4 eggs on 450 iu), which gave us our only BFP.


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## dingle123

Spellbound - really sad to hear your news. Lots of love and luck with your next cycle - when do you kick off?

Lisa - my partner and I start IVF a week on Friday. I'm also doing the long protocol (our clinic prefer that and apparently get good results with long) - my AMH is 38 so I am hoping that goes in my favour.

When is your appointment with the nurse? Lots of baby dust!


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## Lisa139

Dingle123 - My nurse's appointment is on 23 Aug.  So not too much longer. We're now up to 12 failed IUIs so I'm enjoying having the time off.  

Lots of luck to you.  Hope your AMH (and everything else) works in your favour too!

Candy76 - I'm pretty sure he told us that ICSI has slightly better results when using frozen sperm.  You're told so much at one time so I could have misunderstood him.  I think that if I had enough eggs they would do both IVF and ISCI.  Right now we're happy with what they have planned.  Wouldn't let them do something we weren't happy with.  We're also the type that ask loads of questions.


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## dingle123

Lisa139 said:


> Dingle123 - My nurse's appointment is on 23 Aug. So not too much longer. We're now up to 12 failed IUIs so I'm enjoying having the time off.


Wow 12 IUI's - I am so sorry. Totally understand why you'd be enjoying the break. Roll on end of August xxx


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## Malky1985

Hey

Can i join? Me and my wife are going through IVF at the minute, her eggs and me hopefully to carry. Went for our second scan yesterday and hopefully EC on monday if all keeps to plan.

Scared, nervous, excited and emotionall all at once!


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## dingle123

Ooooh lots of luck for ec on Mon!! We are a bit behind you - start dr on Friday so a while to go yet. Exciting isn't it!! Which clinic are you with xx


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## Malky1985

Were with Hull Womens and Childrens, they are all so nice and have been fantastic. Everything getting very close now - the butterflys are starting to kick in a must say


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## Mia78

Hi everyone, I am about to start IVF after three failed IUIs.  I'm feeling very nervous and am terrified of the whole process but am determined to be brave and give it a go.   I have found reading the posts on here really helpful and am hoping to chat with other people who are having treatment at the same time so we can support eachother. Xx


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## Lisa139

Hi Mia78,

Have you started your treatment?  We don't start until September so if you have started I'm a bit behind you.  After having so many failed IUIs I have mixed feelings about things.  Looking forward to doing something that has better odds but not looking forward to doing something that is so invasive.

Good luck with everything.


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## Mia78

Hi Lisa139, I am starting injections this Friday (3rd August). I have just received my drugs this morning and have an appointment tomorrow for a scan and injection training. I feel exactly the same as you about IVF, it really isn't what I wanted and I didn't expect to have to do that but after three failed IUIs I think I would be wasting my money carrying on. I do feel a bit more positive about the chances of success but at the moment I just feel really scared about the whole process     I haven't even opened my parcel because I don't want to look at the needles!
I am hoping it will not be as bad as I am expecting it to be.
Good luck with your treatment  
Xx


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## welshginge

Hey ladies, keep the faith! My IVF worked after 3 failed IUI's! Hope it's same for you! X


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## Malky1985

We had EC yesterday and I’m in a panic today – allsorts going through my head. We don’t get to find out until tomorrow if any made it – i so hope they do i’m not sure what we will do if we don’t even get a chance!


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## Mia78

Hi Malky1985, wishing you lots of luck   
How was your EC? I think that's the part that scares me the most.
Xx


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## Malky1985

Hi Mia,

Me and my wife are egg sharing so were using her eggs and i'm hopefully carrying. But all went fine i think i got the worst end of it than her. Wasnt nice to see her so out of it and talking about Thomas the Tank Engine   but she said she couldnt feel pain it was just more a little nip when the needle went in. She had a few cramps last night but nothing a hot water bottle and paras didn't fix


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## incywincy

Hi, hoping someone can help with this question.

I'm not entitled to any NHS funding, have had two private IUIs abroad, both unmedicated.  I don't want to waste any more money on IUIs and want to go straight to IVF.  I'm looking at egg sharing but that might not be possible.  

Can you just go straight on to IVF with a private clinic?  Or are they likely to say to keep trying IUIs for a while first?


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## Mia78

Hi incywincy, yes you can go straight on to IVF if you want to. I had three failed IUIs and after that they advised me to have more tests to find out if there was a reason why it wasn't working, or to try IVF. We opted for IVF as we felt the chances of success were higher and if the tests showed a problem, e.g. blocked tubes, we would have to have IVF anyway. Like you, we didn't want to waste any more money on IUI. Sadly, we still haven't had any success but we do have a frostie left from the IVF cycle so there's hope.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Xx


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## incywincy

Thanks Mia, that's what I was hoping for.  IUI just has such a low success rate, I don't feel it's worth keep trying it.  I might have one more go if IVF doesn't happen soon enough, but ideally I'd just like to move straight on to that.

FX for your frostie!


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## annie.moon

We went straight for IVF. No IUI. I wanted to share my eggs, so we wanted to do IVF anyway. Our first cycle didn't work, but we have one perfect little embryo on ice ready for my first FET cycle next month. Our clinic have been wonderful all the wY through.  Getting excited!

Hope all goes well. Good luck with your journey.

Annie x


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## incywincy

Thanks Annie.  The clinics were fine about me going straight for IVF when it was egg share, was just wondering if it was different if not sharing.  I would much rather share if I can.

Good luck with your FET next month, hope it's sticky!


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## BabyJeano

Hi. Me and my DP went straight for IVF, mainly though because we are trying with my DP's embryos and me carrying.  DP's age meant she couldnt donate eggs but we would have if she could have done.
Clinic have been amazing all the way though, couldnt have wished for anything more.  Lets just hope it works this time


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## incywincy

Hi BabyJeano, thanks for the response, I have just noticed the date in your sig - good luck for tomorrow!


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## ilovemycobs

Has any ladies on here got a bfp from care in manchester using donor eggs?x


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