# Some encouragement and opinions needed, please.



## pandagirl (Jan 12, 2013)

Hi everyone

I have been TTC'ing for 3.5 years now, lost 3 babies (one over 10 years ago) and (as many others here) have been through very tough times. I had 2 natural pregnancies in the last 3 years, which is not that bad, so there is not such a small chance of getting pregnant again...However, my problem is also staying pregnant and I'm scared that smth will go wrong again. 

A relative offered to be a host surrogate. If she hadn't offered, we would have probably continued naturally for a while or consider adoption, etc. However, here comes this generous offer! The surrogate is not that young, so time is against us and she may change her mind (who knows), so we should rather decide sooner than later. My dh is keen to give it go and I also understand it's a great chance, but somehow find it difficult to make a decision and take the first steps. 

I thought you may offer some encouragement and also share your views on some initial questions: 

- I am thinking about doing a double IVF, whereby one egg would be transferred back to me and another - to the surrogate. I read about someone on FF doing this, but can't remember where it was. Has anyone heard of this/done it? Do London clinics allow this, if so, which? 
- I am thinking about cycling at ARGC to have the best chance, but a few people on the ARGC thread explained that this clinic may not take me, as I'm not already their patient and they, possibly, only do surrogacy if it's the only route left after other failed treatments. Can this be right? Are there more and less surrogacy-friendly clinics, if so, which ones would you recommend? I don't understand why they would not allow me to proceed given my history, but would appreciate your views. 
- Would you recommend any materials/links I should give to my surrogate to read so that she fully understands what's going to happen? 

Thanks a lot.


----------



## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=323802.new#new

Hi Ive answered posting on the ARGC thread re support for surro I think that they can join COTS and SUK for support as well

Good Luck


----------



## pandagirl (Jan 12, 2013)

So I called argc today. They were very friendly and explained that they do surrogacy in principle, but not too often. Double IVF (with transfer both to me and the surrogate) is also possible, in principle. However, they do require a semen sample to be frozen for 6 months and only then will allow the treatment. The explanation is that this should somehow prevent the risk of infection (if any) for the surrogate, but I'm not very clear on that. How the fact that it was frozen for 6 months eliminates the infection, are all the bacteria expected to die during the 6 months, while the sperm will survive? Do you know if other clinics also require this 6 months' freezing break?


----------



## Blondie71 (Oct 26, 2011)

Panda I think the 6 month freezing window is standard for any sperm donation going to a recipent (ie not a spouse or partner) for example I used a sperm donor so in order to fully test him for hiv/syphillis/anything else they must have a timeframe window to ensure he is definately virus free and not going to infect me. I had a frozen embryo transfer too so my sperm donors sample was effectively frozen twice and I have two beautiful boys so no freezing will not harm it  all the good luck in the world to you and I'm so sorry for the pain you've endured wish you MASSIVE success xoxoxo


----------



## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

that is pretty standard in the UK to have sperm quarantined for 6 months it is a HFEA requirement i think. they test before and then retest when defrost. If you are buying frozen sperm from a company then it will be done so then you amy be able to get round it. If it is your partners/DH  sperm then stick some in the freezer and get the clock ticking down and have some blood test they only charge a few hundred pounds for sperm storage. It can take 6 months before you will be having ET in reality.

l


----------



## pandagirl (Jan 12, 2013)

Thanks for your replies. I have made an appointment at CRGH for next week already. Argh seems much more difficult to get to, they say it will be 8 weeks wait for the first appointment and require referrals from my and surrogate's gp, etc. Overall, i had an impression they are not too keen to deal with unusual cases like mine. 

All clear about 6 month freezing period, it does makes sense now. i have also read that sometimes it can be waived or reduced if the surrogate consents. Anyway, having thought about it, perhaps, it's not such a bad idea to wait a bit longer and give my body more time to recover (and perhaps even get a natural BFP!) 

Anyone had experience with CRGH?


----------



## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

i also had a consultation at CRGH re surrogacybut then went down the ARGC route - until my surrogate pulled out

L


----------



## pandagirl (Jan 12, 2013)

Thanks, JJ

May I ask why you chose ARGC over CRGC? Also, have they advised you about the likely overall costs in either of these clinics? 

Based on very preliminary discussions, I liked in CRGC that they were more straightforward about the likely costs and are not trying to make an otherwise complicated process more complicated (don't request GP referrals for example).


----------



## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I chose ARGC as I'd cycled twice there before so knew the score to be honest. I didn't really ask about overall costs as again I know after 9 ICSI and DE cycles and going to numerous different clinics there are extras everywhere.  I was told by the admin manager that ARGC charge an additonal £1K for surrogacy and required counselling reports (they recommended Zita West's counsellor but I went to Carole Wilson who they also rec at ARGC and is registered etc - and she was much much cheaper by about £1K!- I also looked into Create they agreed to do it too but you have to think who has the best overall success rates for IVF as that is the crux of it- and CRGH and ARGC are very close. I was wrongly advised by the receptionist that the Lister did surrogacy and had an appt booked  so went along - only for the consultant to tell me they weren't licensed to do it and she advised me to go to  back to ARGC as well, I had my AMH done as I was there and thr cons was lovely so I didn't see it as a waste of time or money.

I have been to 10 clinics in all here and abroad and have never needed a GP referral plus they don't even tell your GP unless you want them to write to your GO. I went for appt at Lister and CRGH (on the same day intact!) as I wanted to get a feel of another clinic and what they could offer.


I never got to cycle as my surrogate a family friend then pulled out.
Best of Luck


----------



## poppins (Oct 20, 2004)

Hi Panda,

I've had two successful surrogacy cycles with Dr Gorgy, (a former partner with Mr Taranissi) at he's clinic Fertility & gynaecology academy. 
He used to follow this procedure but it was changed during our last Surro cycle, extra tests are needed to cover infection to the Surro but it's not a 6 month quarantine anymore. 

That's wonderful that you have someone offer to help, be sure you both read and understand all that's involved, I don't mean to sound negative but it's a lot to ask, she will go through a pregnancy for 40 weeks, it will affect her marriage, her children, her body,her work etc, once you're both completely satisfied then excellent, best of luck! You can find all the info you need on surrogacy sites online like Surrogacy UK, you don't need to join (it's expensive!) but you can read a fair bit, you'll also find out lots by researching online too. 
Basically you need to draw up a surrogacy agreement, including the fee of expenses, and how the surrogate would like them paid, ie spread out over the pregnancy normally from the 12 wk scan, some from the 6 wk? Then you need to have it written into your will who would take parental responsibility for your child/ren born, also to make sure the Surro is paid all required expenses. Also your surrogate will have it written in hers that she's not responsible etc. You also need to be sure personal insurances are covered for your Surro too incase anything happened to her. 
Poppins x


----------



## njr_26 (Aug 27, 2011)

Pandagirl, have you considered that you may have immune issues and this is why you can't carry a baby. Dr Gorgy is good at this: http://www.fertility-academy.co.uk/recurrent-failure/

Have a look here as well: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=283000.0


----------

