# Advice on sibling rivalry



## peanut butter (Jul 23, 2008)

We have 2 adopted daughters (aged 5 and 7) who have been with us for 16 months. The 7 year old settled straight away and has been brilliant ever since she moved in but we had problems with our 5 year olds behaviour as she had a series of losses after she came to live with us (her teacher left and then her best friend moved away). 

Our 5 year old has really settled down and is being really well behaved but this has now bought out the worst in our 7 year old. She is struggling with the fact the 5 year old is getting lots of praise and seems to now spend her life trying to make trouble for the little one. She turns everything into a competition and is now convinced that she is 'rubbish', just because her sister is behaving well. 

She completely understands that it is great for us as a family that the 5 year old is doing well and we still give the 7 year old lots of praise and encouragement, but she just cannot seem to get over the jealousy towards her sister so would be grateful for any tips to help her.

Thanks
PB


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

the book 'Siblings without Rivalry' is very good for practical things you can do and say..in a very easy to read format


kj x


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## peanut butter (Jul 23, 2008)

Thanks v much for the book recommendation - will definitely be ordering that one from the library.


PB


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Hi pb


Talking from a personal experience, I am one of five and there was and still is sibling rivalry. Sad I know considering the youngest is 39 and the oldest is 49
The main issue is jealously as you said, have you tried giving your eldest one to one time? She may feel that the youngest one is getting a lot more attention as her behaviour has improved and she is no longer the golden child?
It may be just a case of spending an hour with just you and her doing something she enjoys and then at the end say oh shall we go and get xxxxx and play together. We have had a smashing time. And make it a regular thing. You might find this helps.
Xx


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