# Trying to conceive with known donor at a clinic - questions!



## Starfish78 (Jun 1, 2011)

Hi there, 

My partner and I have tried 4 AI's with our KD since Jan 2011 and as our donor is abroad quite a bit it's difficult to predict when we will be able to try again. Whilst I am immensely grateful to have a known donor who we know and trust, it's also difficult to not know when the next try will be, and we are starting to think about how many more times we try at home before moving towards a clinic. Last year we went to an open evening at the Agora (Hove), and mentioned the option of known donor IUI and they seemed to not really be clear about it/know much about it!?

Just wondered if anyone else had any experience of going as a f/f couple to a clinic and using a known donor. For IUI, presumably the KD has to go with you ? Or can they take sperm samples and freeze them, and then defrost and do IUI? (I'm clearly really ignorant about this!) For us the latter would be great as then we could try for a few months even if KD was abroad. 

Any advice appreciated! Thanks... 

Starfish x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Hi I went to the clinic ( the bridge) with my kd, in fact his sperm will need to be frozen & quarantined fir 6 months and tested before and after, you can't use fresh sperm with a kd for iui or ivf.  In fact it might be easier for you as he could deposit  and not need to be there for the treatment.  Has your kd had a sperm test as we were trying AI and in fact he turned out to have a low count.  Good luck


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## Starfish78 (Jun 1, 2011)

Thanks JJ1, no KD hasn't had any sperm analysis, and I've got no idea what my fertility is like (just hoping and praying that all is as it should be on both accounts) but I have wondered at what point we would look into both more closely if AI didnt work. I guess if we move to a clinic this will solve those queries.

Thanks again and good luck too on your journey....x


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## lucky2010 (Jan 10, 2006)

Hi starfish, we were just given a quote of: for consultation£165, sperm analysis £90, and screening £758 semen freeze for 3 years £370. We thought this was hugely expensive since we were Providing our 'own' sperm so to speak. Re the quarantine for six months we said we thought this was pointless as we had been trying with the donor as it was for 14 cycles so they said if we spoke to the medical director and signed to say we were aware if the risk then we didn't need to quarantine.

We have decided to carry on trying DI till Xmas then reassess our options. Good luck.

Rach


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## Starfish78 (Jun 1, 2011)

Hi Rach, 

Thanks for the info, that's really helpful. It's hard not to think these clinics make a lot of profit out of people's desire for a family isn't it!(or am I just cynical?) Sounds bloomin' expensive to me too!!? So the sperm analysis is motility and numbers etc Im guessing, what is the screening at £758?? I had thought the same about the quarantine, that it seems pointless given that we would have been trying at home too, so that's good that there was an option to sign a disclaimer.

We have been thinking that up to xmas we will try at home and then move to a clinic in New Year, but I had a feeling that it might take a while to sort it out so was trying to be organised. Our donor is abroad a lot and so in 8 possible months we have tried 4 times, and I'm not sure I can spend 2012 trying intermittently and never knowing when the next try might be.

Got everything crossed for a BFP for you, I keep an eye on the 2ww thread, and really hoping it's your month.

Thanks again for reply.

Starfish x


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## deemo (Oct 13, 2009)

If you have tried for 14 months then you might apply for NHS funding (depends where you live), in which case the sperm storage and IUI would be free to you. I'd take it up with your GP if I were you, they can refer you to a fertility clinic.


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

lucky2010 said:


> Hi starfish, we were just given a quote of: for consultation£165, sperm analysis £90, and screening £758 semen freeze for 3 years £370. We thought this was hugely expensive since we were Providing our 'own' sperm so to speak. Re the quarantine for six months we said we thought this was pointless as we had been trying with the donor as it was for 14 cycles so they said if we spoke to the medical director and signed to say we were aware if the risk then we didn't need to quarantine.
> 
> We have decided to carry on trying DI till Xmas then reassess our options. Good luck.
> 
> Rach


Rach it is crazy isn't it as we asked to do the same thing as had been trying for months at home with AI and they said no it was a **** requirement. This is the sam situation with surrogacy! 
We paid an extra £1500 at the time for using a KD, and like you when I said that I was providnig sperm they said that the clinics sperm donor share all the testing costs, and also take the risk that the clinic donor will achieve the 10 family quota and be withdrawn.

Twomummies were also using a KD and then tested him and discovered low count, like I did, so they changed and got their girls. Over 30% of men will have a sperm issue!


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## motos (Mar 14, 2008)

£758 for testing sounds crazy!

Be careful about what signing the disclaimer means, though. I have friends who used a known doner but still had to have the sperm in quarantine, which I think was to do with him definitely wanting to be a sperm donor not co-parent, ie he wanted to make sure he had no legal relationship. I wonder if the sperm isn't quarantined and he can't be registered as a sperm donor, he might have parental rights? Don't have any idea, just worth checking.


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## BecsW (Jun 14, 2009)

We used a clinic and a KD who only wanted to donate to us and not to anyone else (he is DW's bro). It cost us £1000 for the analysis and storage etc and we were told that HFEA states that you must have the 6 month quarantine. It can take up to 6 months for HIV to show up if you are positive for HIV, so they tested our KD for HIV, he then gave the samples, they froze the samples for 6 months, they then tested him for HIV again and because he was clear they were allowed to offer us to start treatment. It sounds like there is quite a lot of variation between clinics?

We never visited the clinic at the same time as him but he did need to go a number of times (about 6 in total I think) and when we moved cinics to be nearer home the transfer was quite straightforward. It's not for everyone and it is pricey but this process suited us.

Very best of luck Starfish xxx


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## Starfish78 (Jun 1, 2011)

Thanks Becs, deemo, jj1 and motos, for the replies, it seems pretty clear I should just ring the clinic and find out what their policy is as it does sound like it varies. Heard back from KD yesterday to say they are back in UK so looks like we can try AI this month in any case which is great, but I'd ideally like to be organised and start thinking ahead if they are going to be away again for a few months at a time.

Good luck everyone  

Starfish x


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## jessica60 (Aug 21, 2011)

Hi,

We are new to this site, we have attempted Home insemination 4 times now all BFNS. These have been with a known donor who wishes to have contact and be known to the child. 

Starfish, it sounds like we are in the same position as you. Our Known donor is regulary out of the country and we have missed a few months of trying because he has not been around at the same time as ovulation. We are also considering using a clinic now but the Lwc told us that the donor has to have a consultation,tests, counselling and the sperm has to be in quarrantine for 6 months. A bit over the top with the counselling thing we think!

What methods of AI are you using? 

Please let us know how you get on with your enquiries.

Cheers
K


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## Starfish78 (Jun 1, 2011)

Hi K, 

Welcome to the site, I'm sure you will find it supportive.

Yes your situation sounds very similar. I rang the clinic we would use last week, and felt a bit overwhelmed with the process and prices to be honest, although if we decide to go this route I'm sure it will feel OK once we embark on it.

In summary what they told us was:

Our KD would give a sample that was screened and if initial screening OK would return to donate (no of times would depend on how much they get each time). Screening and tests to sperm would cost about £400 (although I'm sure some could be done at an STD clinic/GP). Quarantine of 6 months is non negotiable. Storage of sperm for 1 year £375, for 5 years £1500. Initial consultation with medical director would be £170 and scan for me £100. Counselling would be compulsory for us and KD, separately and together I think (!). Unmedicated IUI was quoted as £450.

The prices will obviously differ from clinic to clinic.

We have decided to continue trying AI at home (with a syringe etc - I didn't know there were any other methods. what are they?) and hope for the best for now, and re-think things in the New year if we need to.

Best of luck
Starfish x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

At the bridge counselling for him was optional! My kd chose not to go for it and his side of things as a kd was about £1500 more (in 2006)


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

The other methods apart from syringe is the instead cup- a bit like a diaphragm that fits next to the cervix with the sperm in to prevent leaking


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## BecsW (Jun 14, 2009)

Can't believe how much the clinics vary on price and practice    Our storage costs are £150 per year and couselling was available but certainly not required for our KD. Weirdly, they told us our counselling was non negotiable but when we got there the counsellor (who was completely lovely and I am glad we went) made it clear that we only needed to attend if we wanted to


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## jessica60 (Aug 21, 2011)

Thanks for that info. We are also in two minds about commencing the clinic procedure and may leave it for a while whilst trying Home insem.
The only reason for doing the clinic route would be to check if there is anything medically/fertility wise wrong with me and to get hold of our donors sperm when we need it, as he is always travelling with work. It is also a bit of a nightmare as he lives in London and we have to keep travelling down there which adds to the stress of the whole thing.
The other method which we have used for home insem is a conception soft cup, we have realised that we may have been using this incorrectly and actually preventing the sperm from getting in. They are very hard to position and get back out, so we may return to syringe (which we used first attempt). The only problem we have found with the syringe is that it just comes back out, is this normal
We have also considered finding another kd who is nearer and available. How did you find yours?
Cheers K


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## Starfish78 (Jun 1, 2011)

Hello

Yes the clinics seem to vary a lot! 

K - I think we are sticking with trying at home for now, but I feel at least that I know more about  the clinic option so if/when we start to look that route. Our KD is a friend that we have know for years, and although he (and his partner) is delighted to be able to help us in that way we are not going to co parent, and in theory they will be seen as a special uncle etc with their role as donor being knwn from word go. (of course we have talked about what if this, what if that...). It took us about 18 months to consider, ask and chat through this decision both between me and DW and with them, and although they are away a lot we really feel that they are the people we want to be donors so are sticking with it for now.... 
We have never tried anything other than syringe, and some does seem to come out a bit later but I always feel most stays in. I'm never sure about the technique but we do syringe in, inject in slowly, orgasm, legs in air etc for as long as I can handle (varies from ten mins to half an hour). (It's not quite as clinical as that sounds!). We havent had a BFP yet so maybe I;m not the best person to give advice tips!!

I've wondered about when to start investigating whether there's anything up with me too, and I assume that this route would be via the GP initially rather than a clinic. 

Loads of luck

Starfish x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

We went to the gym and discovered his low sperm count after we had tried AI at home for 5 months.
I would use the syringe method and sometimes shove the instead cup in to stop it trickling out! sorry if TMI- my KD's partner also told me to orgasm as the cervix 'sucks' up the sperm.

Good Luck


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