# Can any Christians help decipher my message please



## Mandamae (Oct 17, 2007)

Hello,

Where do I Start?

I was baptised as a baby and went to church throughout my childhood (and returned in recent years). I stopped when I was a teenanger. However throughout my childhood and adulthood I have felt, seen and sensed spirits of people who have passed, I have also seen and spent time with Angels and Arch Angel Michael.

I have also experienced the devil.

After I had experienced all of the above I experienced God our Heavenly Father. I was in bed one morning after workiing nights but was addicted to sleeping tablets and had got myself down to half a tablet a day. I remeber flippantly saying 'God let me be free of these' but without any intention for God our father. However he appeared minutes later and said nothing but he held my hand and what I felt was overwhelming LOVE. I knew it was him instantly. I woke up and never needed them again.

Anyway fast forward 10 years and similary again I had come home from a nightshift and got into bed but did not ask for anything as by this point I was happy with my life and my vices- smoking (now given up) and I was accepting of my infertility. However, just as I had got into bed I suddenly sensed he was there in a BIG way. I spoke directly to him and asked for his forgivness to which he replied 'You ARE Forgiven!' then I asked if I would ever be a mother and his reply was 'You are already a mother' . 
This happened about 3 years ago.

I have spoke to vicars and others about this message but no one can deciper it for me. So I was wondering if any of you may be able to help?

I am currently 3DP5DT PUPO with two blastocysts one hatching.

I feel a strong sense of peace within myself which I never had before which I believe is because God is with me.

Mands xx


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## bobo66 (May 1, 2012)

Hello Mands,

I’m pleased to meet you! It sounds like you are very intuitive and open to acknowledging spiritual realities and especially God’s presence in a way which sounds so full of grace and love. We are so forgiven and I hope it was good to hear that directly from God. 

As for “You are already a mother”, it’s tricky to help without knowing you personally. I’ve had a similar sense of identification with motherhood which isnt biological. The only way I can understand it is God’s promise of being with us, bringing grace and fulfilment, saying you are no less because of infertility, you are whole, and you have learned to mother others and to mother yourself through your experience, and know the value of mothering whether it involves biological motherhood or not. I am a vicar and when I was made priest a few people called me “Mother” and I was surprised that it felt right, and not painful - I think because it describes a realness. I think this God-given identification as mother (yours and mine) is a version of all the times Jesus looks at people with compassion and says “Go in Peace, you are forgiven and reconciled” - even when infertility continues, we are held in a deeper Love which values us as whole and our experience.

I don’t know what your response will be to this and whether you identify with it at all. But I’m sending prayers and love for you in this PUPO time. Xx


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## Mandamae (Oct 17, 2007)

Hello Bobo,


Thanks for your reply. 
I had wondered if it was beacause I technically have 21 embryos that have gone to heaven so thought it may be that. Also, I asked my 5 yr old nephew what he thought it meant and he said because I'm his auntie i'm like his mummy too. I see him quite regularly but wasn't at the time as he wasn't even born. But he is a firm believer in our God so I take comfort from him when he say's that. 
I'm also a nurse so it could be to do with that also.


Today I am 8DP5DT and have gone off butter and am experiencing cramps on and off mostly very mild. I am feeling very positive this time round. I went to church this morning for holy communion for the first time in two weeks and it felt really good to be back. I trust God has a plan for me I just wondered if anyone else may have any idea which is why i asked.


Thanks, Mands xx


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## ClaireCupcake (Jun 12, 2018)

You already have 21 children in heaven. The term embryo comes from languages referencing 'young one'. Young humans, commonly known as children. So technically & morally you are their mother. We can't know why so many children are called to god when we'd prefer them to stay with us. But there must be a reason. 

I personally don't feel a mother is someone who necessarily has to have 'owned' or conceived any children. Being a mother is about feeling a duty to do your best to nurture, comfort & protect. Even though your nephew is not your son, you will throughout his life be acting 'motherly' towards him. And that will be to his benefit & probably with the gratitude of his mother. Sadly there are children in this world who will live a life without ever having any legal mother or father. I pray they will have someone 'motherly' or 'fatherly' to comfort, nurture & protect them throughout their lives.


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