# How should I argue my case?



## Han2275 (Oct 3, 2010)

I am 12 weeks pregnant with DP's embryo after a natural FET. We are now living in Ireland and I initially discovered that another homebirth was not going to happen as too costly and a bit of a logistical nightmare in rural Ireland  . So I have settled for the local MLU and went for my booking appointment this afternoon. The appointment was going really well until I told the midwife it is an FET pregnancy. Basically I have been told that now have to be under consultant care and can't give birth in the MLU as I have had fertility treatment. I am so upset about this as I just feel that childbirth is the most natural thing a woman can do and I want to give birth again in a relaxing, non-clinical environment. The midwife is the unit manager and she was so kind and totally understands my point of view but her hands are tied by hospital protocol. I just feel cheated and angry  . She is going to speak to one of the consultants and also make me an appointment for DP and I to see him to discuss my situation. Ireland is very much into Consultant led care and the majority of women opt for it. I feel like I have come from a health service that is the total opposite. I just wanted a bit of advice about how I should approach this at our meeting. I don't want get his back up by going in all guns blazing, but I also desperately want the right birth for myself and this baby.  I am a nurse myself so I know exactly how important it is to go about things the right way with some of these doctors  

Many thanks


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## Kaz1979 (Apr 11, 2011)

Hi Han

I have read many of your posts before, it is a shame you cant have another homebirth. Would you have to pay for care??

How i would go about it is ask if you can be seen later on in the pregnancy say 36weeks to be assessed for suitability. The fact the FET is a risk factor is usually due to it being used as the couple have issues with infertility. This is not an issue for you is it?? You have used IVF as you are in a same sex couple am i right 

Therefore you can argue that you dont have infertility as a risk factor. Even if you did you could have that as a risk at booking but have an uneventful healthy pregnancy and therefore should be low risk for delivery. Does that make sense?

I think if you argue it from the point of view that it was not fertility treatment for infertility but due the logisitical issues of conception in a same sex couple! You could ask to see the policy - as if it says infertility not fertility treatment as the risk factor/exculsion criteria you could argue that it doesnt apply to you. 

If that doesnt work then I would write to the head of midwifery and ask why they consider you to be at risk given your previous homebirths etc and see what response you get. Happy to be of further assistance for you through this process.

Kaz xxxxx


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## Han2275 (Oct 3, 2010)

Hi Kaz,

Thanks for your reply. Yes, you are right. I purely had an FET because it made sense to use our little frosties. I got pregnant before with the 2nd DI cycle so I do not consider myself to have fertility problems. I have been doing a bit of research and all I can is find is that IVF babies have a VERY slightly increased risk of abnormality and premature birth. But the research also states that the reasons for this are not clear and it may actually be due to the higher number of older women having IVF. Do you know anymore about this? 
I am not TOO disappointent about the homebirth as I feel it will be easier this time for us to leave the house rather than the potential of the boys having to be woken up and taken to Nanny's/friend's in the middle of the night. I wouldn't want them in the house hearing me moo like a cow  
Homebirths here are only done by private midwives. They get a certain amount of funding from the HSE (Irish health service) but we would have to pay a further 1500 euro which we don't really have to spare! Our nearest midwife is also about 75 minutes away so I would be worried about her getting here, especially as DS1 arrived in 4 hours  .
I have just been on the HSE website and there is a whole page on criteria for a homebirth. IVF doesn't even stop women qualifying for a homebirth so I reckon that might be a bit more ammunition for me  . 
I will keep you posted


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## Han2275 (Oct 3, 2010)

Just to update, I had a letter yesterday to see the consultant next wednesday. Not sure whether to go alone or with DP  . I haven't heard back from the midwife who was arranging the appointment so will try and speak to her beforehand to see what kind of response she has had


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## Kaz1979 (Apr 11, 2011)

Personally I would take someone with you. Always good to have back up! 

Kaz xxxx


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## Han2275 (Oct 3, 2010)

Just to update - we went to see the consultant. He had no idea about the reason I had been sent to see him. He was really nice and I explained our 'fertility' treatment and my previous uneventful pregnancy and homebirth. He saw no reason why I couldn't deliver in MLU and wrote that in my notes accordingly but also said at the end of the day it wasn't really any of his business as MLU make their own rules. Yesterday I was at work and popped up to see the midwife I originally saw (The MLU manager) and she had had no more communication from the consultant so I told her what he had said. She still just kept going on that it was all on her head and if anything went wrong blah blah blah! If the consultant's views made no difference to her why did she get me to see him in the first place!!! She then said she would talk to her manager and she called me back and said that basically everyone wanted HER to take responsibilty for accepting me and she wasn't prepared to do that. I am so diappointed. I have gone from an amazing homebirth first time round to a hospital birth under consultant care. It couldn't be much further away from what I want  . I just don't know what to do now  . I have considered going down the homebirth route again but the midwife is just over an hour away from us and would want 1500 euro on top of whats she gets from the Health service. I could get that money together by doing a few extra sunday nights at work but I don't know whether I'm now cutting my nose off to spite my face and just being stubborn. It's all stressing me out and I just want to turn round and say to them who are you to tell me where I can deliver my baby


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