# Support group for coffee in Herts



## recorder (Jun 14, 2009)

I am going to be frank - I had donor egg treatment (=BFN); more donor egg treatment (=BFP then miscarriage); frozen donor eggs (=biochemical pregnancy)

For obvious reasons I am now moving on, leaving all that behind thankgoodness.

I feel still a bit isolated though - anyone interested in coffee meetings at Starkbucks / Costa coffee, maybe once every six weeks or so, in Hertfordshire?  I'd really appreciate meeting other women who want to move forward with this - and if you do wish to meet, it would be a good 'support group' for the forthcoming adoption.  We could consider meeting more or less anywhere public in Herts (am located in Stevenage but can drive north/east/west etc)

You have to be GOING FOR ADOPTION, in the EARLY STAGES of adoption, or maybe have already adopted.

No offence intended, but if you have the slightest chance of getting pregnant, or still want to be pregnant ... that is trully fantastic news for you, but please tactfully avoid our group!!!  I'd prefer it to be for ladies committed to other options.
personal message me.


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## Boggy (Dec 13, 2006)

Hi Recorder

I've moved your post over here so more folk will see it  

Can I ask that people are very careful when replying to this thread not to give too many personal details regarding your locations and circumstances?  It's great to meet others in the same situation but please be mindful that this is a public forum    Can't be too careful  

Bx


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## recorder (Jun 14, 2009)

yes - we'd meet only in a public coffee bar and should we keep it female only for the time being?

I just feel isolated and to be honest, looking on this forum is good, but there are hundreds of 'I'm pregnant' messages, twins, due dates, people hoping for success and still very much on the IVF treadmill.

There is a strong sense of 'just keep going, keep spending money, keep hoping' and you will get pregnant.  For some that is great, but it is not for all and for some we simply have to tread a different path.  What happens if you run out of money or stamina?  What happens if you are a bit 'too old' to keep gambling on the hope of success?
Could I also ask that no-one post on this thread with a message of 'i tried for ten years, spent £15,000 and got twins' sort of thing?


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## Boggy (Dec 13, 2006)

Recorder

You'll find people don't post things like that on this board - I've been here 41/2 years and have never read a message saying that - and if they did I'd remove it   

You can opt to "hide" members signatures and the parenting boards - i did for a time, if anyone would like to do so let me know and I'll tell you how to.

This is a safe haven, we're all supportive and Bop & I keep a close eye on things  

Post away! 

BX


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## Guest (May 4, 2011)

Hi Recorder and welcome to the Adoption Boards.

I must admit I avoid most of the FF forums and just stick around here - generally everyone here is past the ttc stage and off the IVF bandwagon.  

Sorry I'm too far to meet up with you (Scotland) but hopefully you will find others locally that are able to.  Not sure where you are on your adoption journey, but maybe you'd meet other like-minded local people at an information evening or adoption prep group? 

Good luck whichever route you take.

Bop


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## abboswoo (Apr 30, 2010)

Hi Recorder,

My husband and I are starting our adoption journey and have our first initial home visit on the 18th May. Although I do have family in Herts. Hemel and Harpenden I actually live in Kent.........

I would love to keep in contact with you though as it is all new to me and don't quite know what to expect. All a bit nerve racking. Can't be any harder than the IVF journey hell though!!!!!!!! (that is the last time I will mention that lol........)

Love Woo.x


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## Mel99 (May 20, 2010)

Recorder - I am in Hitchin. Just had my 3rd failed IVF and have decided that I can't do anymore. Emotionally done I'm afraid. Made the call to the LA to ask about adoption but been told I have to wait at least 6 months before we can do anything. Apparently I have to grieve, I do know that they are experts but anyone who has been through IVF knows you pretty much grieve all the time. 
Now just waiting till the 6 months are up so we can move on with Adoption. I have been told to use my 6 months to do voluntary work with children. Would be nice to have someone to talk about it with. Let me know what you think


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## recorder (Jun 14, 2009)

have sent you a personal message


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## charlieval (Jun 10, 2008)

I live in this area, have just started the adoption journey (have been advised to go and do some voluntary work with children by the LA), and would be delighted to be part of a local support network. 

x


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## Mel99 (May 20, 2010)

Hi Recorder -sent you an email hope that's okay. 
Charlieval - sounds like you had a very similar conversation to me with the LA. I don't know about you but I felt totally disheartened after my chat with them. Hopefully we can get a date set up and start our supporting !


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