# Negative thoughts!!!



## amandamc (Nov 7, 2004)

Hi girls,

I'm 8w pregnant and for the last few days been feeling really negative, am I the only one?

Me and hubby have wanted this for so long but I feel like I can't get too excited in case something goes wrong!

I read the posts on this site and some are so sad with miscarriages etc, I'm convincing myself something similar will happen to me!!

I had my 7w scan last week and everything was fine, one bub with nice healthy heartbeat, so why do I feel so down. 

I've heard stories about scans being ok at 7w and then when they go back for the 9w scan the bub has no heartbeat, I don't even get a 9w scan, my next one is at 12w on the 6th June so ages to wait!!

I won't even buy any pregnancy magazines or books just incase I jinx myself.

Is it just my hormones? I've not really had any sickness, although I've had severe constipation, and I'm feeling really tired, I also have to get up at least 4 times in the night to go for a wee (sorry TMI!!).

Is it true that they say once you get to 8w and the heartbeat is seen then it reduces the chances of things going wrong?

Hope you can offer me some reasurrance
Thanks in advance
Amanda xx


----------



## lally (Feb 20, 2005)

Hi Amanda

Firstly - congratulations!!!

I totally understand how worrying it is once you actually get pregnant - you just expect things to go wrong but we really have to remind ourselves that usually they don't.

I was told by my consultant that once you have seen the heartbeat the chances of miscarriage are much lower. I think in a lot of cases where miscarriages occur, there never is a heartbeat.

Please please try to enjoy this pregnancy. I worried my way through my first pregnancy and when I look back, I missed out on a lot so I am determined to enjoy every minute of this one. The way I look at it is that if anything were to go wrong, I would not feel any better or worse for having been excited and happy during the pregnancy. (Hope this makes sense, its hard to put into words what I mean!)

Go buy yourself a magazine - you ARE pregnant!!!

Love Lally xx


----------



## AussieMeg (Sep 5, 2004)

Hi Amanda

I know exactly how you feel as I had severe depression during my first pregnancy and it was a lot more than worrying if the baby was ok. There was a time where they wanted to put me on antidepressants but I was having none of it. Apparently about 1% of women who have never had depression before get it ins the first trimester and I was one of these. My consultant also believes this is a little higher after treatment as I got it when I wasn't pregnant but had finished treatment 4 weeks beforehand. This time I was watched very very closely by my consultant, obs and GP. I also ended up having scans at 7,8,9 and 12 weeks to keep my mind healthy.

Be caareful not to let it affect you and DH as mine infiltrated the relationship too.

Do go and talk to someone. You clinic is required to provide you with counselling for free and I definately needed it. 

Also go and demand another scan explaining that mum's mind needs to be kept healthy as well as her body. This is not a time to be retiring or quiet.

On the positive side your wee and poo means you are definately pregnant and I only had a few days of nausea this time and I am now 12 and a half weeks pregnant with twins.

Finally I agree with Lally about saying hang the risk and enjoy the pregnancy and I really tried to put it in to practice this time around and it did work. 

So no you are not the only one that gets depressed. Supposedly you are less likely to get post natal depression and I will report back on that theory in November. 

Please pm me if you want to chat
Megan


----------



## Terri (Oct 21, 2003)

Hi Amanda

First of all congratulations on the pregnancy. 

I am sending a   your way as I can totally sympathise with what you are going through.  Please don't feel that you are the only one that goes through this and it's not your hormones (well, may be a little  ).

I was exactly the same and I now have a 6 month old daughter.  I was totally convinced something would go wrong because I have PCOS and Endo.  I drove my sister nuts ringing her every 5 mins because I didn't have any symptoms or I'd got another strange pain.  

Unfortunately, when us girls have treatment it makes us worry so much more, perhaps it's because we are used to disappointment or because of the long hard journey to get there.  One thing I would try and do is to avoid reading the posts that are likely to upset you - I know it's easer said than done but in the end I forced myself to avoid them for a while.  

I really think if you can get another scan booked it would help put your mind at rest.  You are 8 weeks now so if you book one for about 10 weeks, getting to 12 weeks won't seem so bad.  To be honest, I'm very surprised your clinic has not offered to do another one for you.  You could always consider getting one done privately (cost about £100 - expensive I know but worth the peace of mind). 

You are correct in that once you get to 8 weeks and a healthy hearbeat is seen, the likelyhood of miscarriage drops drastically.

I would tell you not to worry because you will anyway.  Try and set yourself a goal that when you hit 12 weeks you will try and relax a bit, go and buy some baby mags and may be a baby thing or two.  That's what I did and when I hit 20 weeks there was no stopping me then.    

I really wish you the best of luck in your pregnancy.  You have waited so long for this that you and your dh deserve the right to enjoy it.

Take care

Terri xx


----------



## amandamc (Nov 7, 2004)

Thanks girls for your replys, it really means a lot to me.

I also thought it was strange when they told me I don't get another scan until 12w, but I've decided to wait until my midwife appt which hopefully will be next week and talk to her about it, if I did want a private scan at 10w how do I go about it? Who do I phone? 

Anyway thanks again
Amanda xx


----------



## Terri (Oct 21, 2003)

Hi Amanda

I think your best bet would be to ring your local Bupa hospital.  Where I live we have a Women's Health Centre, which is part of the Bupa Hospital, and they do dating scans/nuchal scans and 4D scans.

You could always ask your midwife next week where you can get one done.  You never know she might understand your worries and get you booked in for one on the NHS - you can live in hope hey!!!!

I know our Early Pregnancy Unit can carry out scans for about £10 - which I think is really good, but I'm not sure who that service is available to and the reasons why.

Hope the above helps

Terri xx


----------

