# is visiting the gyno a misery just for me? Being that it is for pregnancies too



## wishingwell (Jun 5, 2008)

Hi, I have just posted a letter, but I am curious to know if I am the only one who feels this:

When we were visiting places to help us get pregnant, I used to dread having to be in the waiting room surrounded by "fat" women!

I now live in France and find that this country has a high rate of pregnancies, so every time I have to visit the gyno, what do I see?!  

It is funny because just the other day I had an appointment and fully armed myself from the onslaught of "fat" women and do you know - not one single one did I see!!!!

I am now waiting for the results of a smear test to find out if everything is ok.

Well, that's all for now.

Suzanne


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## Angel Child (Apr 22, 2008)

Hi Suzanne,

If you ever need an ultrsound, it is even worse!!! I hyperstimulated on an IUI cycle and had to go for a scan a few weeks later, as there was a shadow behind my womb. I sat there with all the "fat" people and when it was finally my turn, I walked into the room and the ultrasound person (no idea what they are called!!), looked at me and said, "so when is your baby due?"  You would have thought they would check there notes rather that put a foot in it!!! I ended up having another laporoscopy, but they didn't find anything, so the trip to ultrasound was completely unnecessary!!!

Good luck with your smear test results.

Angel


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## wishingwell (Jun 5, 2008)

Ugh, Angel!

I did have to have an ulterasound a couple of year's ago, and hated being in the waiting room!  I deliberately took reading material for no matter where I looked, those horrid "fat" women where there!  This is silly, but I felt as though they were all coming closer to me!  How I hated it!!

As for your situation:  How my heart goes out to you .  

I have had some people say: "oh, are you pregnant"?  Because I have put weight on due to medication that was completely unnecessary to take, so my stupid stomach makes me look pregnant!!!   All I say is: "sadly, no I am not; it is just fat".  This is for self preservation.

Sometimes I wish that I could wave a magic wand and all these "fat" women would disappear, so that I then could take a deep breath and feel cleansed from all my horrid thoughts!!

Why can't a place be set up specially for those that are pregnant?  Yes, I have heard that people in general do wish for this, but for me, I would give anything to be separate.

How sweet of you to wish me the best for my smear test!   Seeing that I haven't heard anything, I think that all is well 

I am now taking tablets to get me bleeding again!   I have never had trouble in that area, so I am now panicking that it is the complete end of the road for me 

Sorry this is all about me; I will try harder next time.

Loads of love for your response.

Suzanne


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## Mistletoe (Holly) (Jan 1, 2007)

I had a nasty experience the last time I went to the GP for a smear.

I just spent time telling the nurse that I was suffering from infertility and it was completely devastating, and 10 minutes later she was teaching the student practice nurse how a nulliparous woman's cervix looks.

How dare she make me feel even more of a failure and embarassed when I was so vulnerable. 

These people do not think or understand.

I was really upset by this. 

I work in a hospital in a busy unit with many women nurses, therapists and patients. At my hospital there is a fetal medicine tertiary referral service.

I cannot make any journey into work on the train, walk down the corridor or work on my unit without seeing a PG woman at a frequency of approximately every 3 minutes throughout the day. 

Even worse, I have to watch couples on the train, along with grand parents cooing over ultrasound photographs, talking in great detail to friends on the mobile or to each others in very loud voices to announce to the world that they are PG - they are happy and can't know how I am feeling.

If I ever do achieve my dream, then I will make sure I am considerate to people who may be suffering in silence.


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

It is horrible the way everyone gets mixed in together for scans and gyno stuff. It is the same, would you believe, with D&Cs due to a m/c and abortions. I had one horrible nurse imply that I was 'getting rid' of my baby when I had my first D&C. I wish I had taken it further and complained - it was utterly distressing. But because of my poor emotional state I let it go.

When we go to scans and see all these heavily pregnant women it feels like we are having our noses rubbed in it. But they are everywhere - especially when you just do not want to see them (a weird law of the universe!)

(((Hazel))) what an awful nurse! (Seems that they are everywhere too). One thing to keep in mind when dealing with 'nulliparous' type comments - it means that when all those earth mothers are peeing themselves in old age - you'll have a mightily strong pelvic foor ! (Better orgasms too!)
Bernie xxx


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## Guest (Jul 25, 2008)

Hazel and Bernie -   these nurses are appalling, so sorry for you to have to deal with such insensitive people. And you'd think they should know, having dealt with so many patients.

I agree about the pg women on scans. Having had 5 m/cs (mostly missed m/cs) I'm almost immune to it, going into a waiting room full of pg women thinking I am one of them, coming out of the scan room knowing that my precious baby had died. Last time I was in hospital for a follow up (not pg anymore) I burst into tears because I was in the same waiting room where all of that happened, even if no pg woman is there I still remember.


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

(((rivka))) It's horrible isn't it? By the time we got to the last pg in Nov 2006, dh refused to come into the scanning room with me. He came over all sweaty and was about to have a panic attack. So I said I'd go in on my own. I hated it - but coped ok - kind of had to. It was just awful calling him in to tell him the news he most feared. 
Bernie x


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## karzo (Mar 13, 2008)

and i thought it was just me.... i am visiting a fertility clinic in a hospital in the netherlands, adn cos my dutch is bad each time i have a question, i go in and try to ask the receptionist at the fert clinic who is nice. except she is hardly there. so twice now i have had to stand at the desk saying "get your ultrasound here", surrounded by pregnant women, adn ask for info about the fertility clinic. it just makes you feel so worthless. i could not believe any hospital would be so insensitive as to put the fert waiting room next to the pregnancy scan waiting room. last time i just left in tears, thinking chance would be a fine thing that i am standing at this window waiting for a scan. i dont begrudge all the pg women, of course not. but each time i get AF i immediately seem to be surrounded by pregnant women, prams, or parents complaining about what awful children they have.


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## krissf (Jun 13, 2008)

God - I was in the supermarket yesterday thinking how incredibly tactless it is putting sanitary protection in the baby care aisle. But that is so much worse.

Kriss


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## karzo (Mar 13, 2008)

and then they sent me to the maternity ward for my laporoscopy! god bless the dutch - they said we only do it in summer, and we wont put you in a room with a newborn. well, that s ok then is it ?


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## Angel Child (Apr 22, 2008)

Have you also noticed in bookshops, the books on infertility are in the pregancy & baby section!!! Very insensative!!

Angel


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