# woman who had abortion becasue of her morning sickness!!!



## ♥JJ1♥

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/real_life/3029012/Woman-who-had-an-abortion-because-of-morning-sickness.html

Anyone seen this!! and it's not the Daily Mail!!! how I would give to swap places with her vomiting/hospital admission or not- hurts more when you are infertile!!


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## joeyrella

they had the same story in the metro, accompanied by a smiling picture of mum, dad and their older daughter.  i couldn't believe what i was reading, absolutely shocking.


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## levin

I can see why this story would upset people who are or have struggled with infertility and my first reaction having read the headline was 'omg how ungrateful is she' -  but after reading it i actually feel some sympathy towards the mother and i think perhaps we shouldn't rush to judge her for what shes done. I mean she was sick 27 times in one morning and couldn't look after her existing child, i can't even imagine being sick 27 times in the space of a few hours - perhaps if she didn't already have a child then yes she would have put up with it, but when she was too weak to make her child any food i can in some small way understand why she had to make a very difficult decision.
However i don't think she should have sold her story to the paper, and pictures of her all happy and smiley are very insensitive and inappropriate i feel.


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## Jane D

I agree with what Levin says about selling story to the media. My own take on it is that being sick constantly  sure is preferable to the mental misery I endured for so long during tx.  My own mum had horrendous morning sickness with my brother and ended up in hospital on a drip on several occassions. I am sure a lot of people endure problems like this with morning sickness but i felt it was extreme action to take and something she willl have to explain to her daughter.


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## katie c

It's not just a bit of morning sickness though is it? HG is a very serious condition. I know someone who had it three times and spent a lot of time in hospital

I reckon she reported this with the best of intentions to raise awareness. But typical sun misogynist reporting makes it read like she did it on a whim as she is just a mere woman who 'couldn't cope'


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## armi

Sorry to be hard nosed about it, but the story made me angry!!!


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## Skybreeze

A very close friend had this HG in all 3 of her pregnancy's. Her last pregnancy was through IVF but unfortunately she MC. I have never in my life seen anyone so ill, she could even swallow her sliver or even walk up the stairs she was so weak.  

It is very very sad that this women had to make this decision. I dont condone it, but having seen a friend go through this, its so hard. 

N xxx


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## armi

Skybreeze you are a better woman then me. ((kudos))


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## Guest

I had HG and avoided hospital literally by the skin of my teeth.  Two other friends weren't so lucky and spent much of their pregnancies in and out of hospitals and drips.  None of us had elder children however, but I can't say that I ever ever even considered an abortion. I didn't count the number of times I was sick per day, but it was pretty much constant, apart from when I was asleep and despite being extremely fit prior to pg, I couldn't even walk 100m to the end of our road - this started at 6wks and continued until 18 weeks.


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## dakota

I read this and did feel sorry for her. What i cant get my head around is she had first hand expericence of how bad it was when she had her daughter, so surely she must have known there was a very very good chance it would happen again?


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## gerry42

I feel really sorry and upset for this woman as it appears she did not receive the correct support and care for this debilitating and potentially fatal condition.

Morning sickness is horrible but HG is a different ball game and can cause a number of conditions that cause death if not correctly diagnosed and treated.

I totally sympathise with her concerns for her daughter and feel sad that she did not appear to have anyone to take full time care of her so she didn't have to 'starve'.

I also feel for you ladys still on your IF journey and appreciate the hurt these stories bring up.

p.s don't know if this is a myth but some one told me Charlotte Bronte apparently died of HG.


Gerry xxxxxx


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## Guest

Dakota - HG with one pg doesn't necessarily mean it will happen again the next time...although it certainly put me and a friend off the idea of another pg!!!!


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## chocolate_teapot

I think it was brave of her to publish her story. HG can be fatal it isn't "just" morning sickness. I know it can be tough to read but unless it is experienced it is impossible to say how we would react.


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## Essex Girl

I think any story about abortion is difficult for those of us who struggle to get pregnant, or who have not got there yet.  And the media often report such stories in a sensationalised way, which doesn't help. 

Thankfully I was spared the morning sickness, but one of the special needs mums I know had HG really badly and could only keep liquids down by sucking ice cubes, and she believes this may have been a reason for her LO having cerebral palsy.  It is a serious matter, so I can understand why the mum concerned resorted to that extreme measure.  

EG x


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## Be Lucky

Its a shame social svces couldnt have helped or sumbody so she could have been helped to sustain 2nd pregnancy.


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## pobby

Ive looked after ladies with HG and met one who also had a late termination due to the condition..obviously when your struggling with IF yourself it makes you feel pretty gutted and obviously I wouldnt do it myself. But this lady did not take the decision lightly and I feel sure if she did have IF then maybe she wouldnt have done it. However, it really is a horrible condition and often no matter what medication they are given, be it anti-emetics, steroids etc , it doesnt help..the person is literally wasting away.. I feel sorry for them.

Pobby


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## freckles2

First of all this is not just a case of morning sickness. I just wanted to say that after years of infertility and then finally a successful ICSI pregnancy I suffered from HG ....to put it blankly I thought on many occasions I was dying. Anyone who calls this morning sickness does not realise the extent of this illness. The pain and suffering is immense. I was sick constantly from 7 weeks until labour. I could not work go out or eat I spent each day sitting on the bathroom floor by the toliet.  I was in and out of hospital and constantly worried about my unborn childs well being as well as my own health. 
I would not turn back the clocks and I cannot decribe the love I feel for my daughter and would do all again for her. However although I am depserate for another child the thought of 9 months of this terrible illness makes me think very carefully about future children. I wonder how I would cope with another child to look after too. 
I understand the heartbreak of infertility and how desperate I was to have a baby and I never go for one day without realising how lucky I am BUT I also think that this women should not be judged unless you have suffered from HG you cannot  begin to imagine how it feels like. I would never have had an abortion but I can understand how some women would feel deperate enough to have one. Please do not judge this woman..I am sure that she would have done anything to avoid getting HG in the first place and to have had her baby


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## katie c

well said frances. i'm sorry you had to go through this, but glad there has been a few voices of reason alongside your own since i posted last week (been on holiday)

i am amazed that people of a forum that i thought had such a plethora of open minded people have reacted in such a judgemental way towards this woman. how much do we complain when people post stuff in the media about infertility? such as 'why dont they just adopt' or 'mother nature must be a reason they cant conceive' or other such banality? we're pretty unhappy in that situation. i think anyone who can't emphasise with how this woman must have felt, and appreciated what a terrible choice it had to have been should be ashamed of themselves.

as frances and others have said it's not just a bit of sickness. she could have died, and left her daughter motherless. it's a bloody pity she didn't get sympathetic medical advice but even in the 21st century some GPs seem to think anything of a gynological or obstectrial nature is just a 'womans lot.'

just because we're infertile it doesn't mean we can't emphasise with other people's sad times. it's not a competition about who's the most hard done by


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## Mish3434

Well said Frances and Katie, voices of reason.  I don't for one minute think it was a decision the woman took lightly.  However it is a total shame that she didn't get some help with her daughter.  It's shocking the way help is so often not given to the people who need it the most

Shelley x


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## Tina xx

I couldn't agree more with you ladies, she suffered more than "morning sickness". She told her story in this weeks New magazine and I really felt for her. She doesn't sound like someone that just thought "I can't be bothered to deal with this morning sickness". She said that she is only telling people what happened as she wanted more people to be aware of what she went through and not to judge!!

Shelley, I agree hun, it's a pity that she couldn't get some help with her daughter    

I had pretty bad morning sickness, it started before I even found out I was pg and it lasted till I was nearly 6 months. My sister also had really bad morning sickness too - she was admitted to hospital because of it (she had IVF - different reason to mine)


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## Charlies-Mum

I had HG and was hospitalised for it when I was pg with Amy. After one particulary horrid morning at 5am I can remember sobbing on the bathroom floor begging DH to end my suffering. After everything we had been through with Charlie I couldn't believe that I was so serious about 'ending' a healthy pregnancy but i was so debilitated, exhausted and depressed that I could see no light at the end of the tunnel. 

Thankfully for me at 5 months my drugs finally got the situation under control but I lost a lot of weight before this point and was back and forth to the hospital.

I can't comment on this ladys decision because it wasn't mine to make and I don't know her circumstances (never believe what is written in the papers!) but I'm sure that it wasn't made lightly.


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## *Bev*

Well said ladies, i'm very much a believer in not judging a person unless you've walked in their shoes.

I'm terribly sorry for you ladies who went through this, I had what was VERY mild morning sickness and just those first 14weeks of being sick every afternoon for a few hours was awful....xx


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## Victoria-Helen

First of all, i'd like to say that i am currently 8 weeks pregnant with twins and i'm suffering terribly from HG. I have been given lots of different medication and it is NOT working at all.

I am very pleased that this woman chose to speak out because i really believe that HG needs to be more recognised in the health system. My doctor and midwife do no believe in it! 

I am thrilled to be pregnant but utterly devestated to be so ill. I have already been admitted to hospital twice and have lost a stone. I cannot eat anything, i nibble on toast and sometimes even that is too much. When i have thrown up the toast i bring up bile. I am so sick that i cannot leave my house, walking to bed wil make me vmoit and retch for at least 25 minutes. I have a son aged 5 and the poor kid has to amuse himself most days and has been eating microwave meals that his step brother can cook as i cannot physically cook a meal. 

I am pushing myself through this pregnancy knowing how much i went through to get pregnant at all. If i had never known the pain of infertility then i seriously consider all my options. Before i fell pregnant i kept saying to people tht i would appreciate every little bit of pregnancy sickness included, but until it began i just didnt realise how shocking it is! I genuinly feel like i am dying, i do not feel pregnant at all and find it hard to be excited as i wanted to to. It doesnt seem possible right not that a healthy born could be born after this.

Dont misunderstand that i am extremly grateful to be pregnant and i am going to get through it, but i dont know how. My husband is wonderful but i am horrified that he has had to clean me up so many times when i get into such a state. I even wet myself whilst being sick because of how strong it is retching! 

HG is something thats very hard to understand unless you have had it, anyone who gets through it has amazing strengh, but for those people who dont, it doesnt mean they dont care of appreciate being pregnant, they just cant cope. I wouldnt wish it on anyone!


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## Guest

It is not a pleasant time at all.  I absolutely HATED being pregnant despite being very very lucky for the tx to have worked first time but as I said before a termination never entered my mind.  I looked terrible, I felt terrible, I couldn't even walk 100m.  Loads of people at work were also pg at the same time as me and they were all doing bump photos together but no-one could actually understand why I had no wish whatsoever to have memories of it.  I wasn't joking when I nicknamed by two 'Claudia and Louis' (Anne Rice)


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## Victoria-Helen

Thankyou Emma for your lovly message of support   

I am going to write a few letters, to my GP, Midwife and local antinatel unit, i really think this condition needs to be put out there. I am lucky to work for family who understand how ill i am, but i cant imagine how people cope with regular jobs. I imagine many would lose their jobs over it.

I hope you are now getting the support and help you need from the doctors!


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## gerry42

Victora-Helen    . So sorry you have a disbeliving doctor and midwife.  Hope you can get through this and your little boy is ok.

Gerry.

I really wish I could go through the NHS and sack all the usless, unsympathetic members of staff


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## Suzie

Glitter said:


> It is not a pleasant time at all. I absolutely HATED being pregnant despite being very very lucky for the tx to have worked first time but as I said before a termination never entered my mind. I looked terrible, I felt terrible, I couldn't even walk 100m. Loads of people at work were also pg at the same time as me and they were all doing bump photos together but no-one could actually understand why I had no wish whatsoever to have memories of it. I wasn't joking when I nicknamed by two 'Claudia and Louis' (Anne Rice)


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## *Bev*

Victoria   

Emma I know where your coming from with the endo and unsympathetic people including medical professionals, my journey has recently ended as I was left with no option but to have a hysterectomy due to it


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## *Bev*

The doctor took the decision from me, so from that perspecitve it was easy   .  My biggest issue was the flooding I bled for months and months literally and the constant pain - I have neither of these problems now which is amazing, i'm grateful for this... I do get ovary pain most months as I kept my ovaries (i'm 31 too), but this is a paracetamol job for 24hrs, I can live with that, its barely worth mentioning compared to what i'm used to.


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## *Bev*

There are ongoing studies to prove a genetic link with endo.  I bled for 11mths after having my son, its really no fun.  I did get some relief from accupuncture, not sure if you've thought about trying it?!

Good luck with your ongoing journey.

Bev x


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## slinkyfish

I feel sorry for her and anyone who has had this. I had HG and although I wasn't hospitalised I was unable to do anything for the first 16 weeks of both my pregnancies

I have a friend who had Hyperemesis through out 3 pregnancies. When she fell pregnant for the third time she had it again (it got worse with each pregnancy) and she lost over 3 stone in weight. She was in hospital for weeks. We were in China at the time and she was from Oz. Her Mum had to fly over to look after the children as she was totally unable to. Sadly she eventually lost the baby at 23 weeks. People don't realise that in severe cases it can be fatal to both Mother and baby


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## katie c

Tina xx said:


> I couldn't agree more with you ladies, she suffered more than "morning sickness". She told her story in this weeks New magazine and I really felt for her. She doesn't sound like someone that just thought "I can't be bothered to deal with this morning sickness". She said that she is only telling people what happened as she wanted more people to be aware of what she went through and not to judge!!


i actually read this today, in a back issue at the hairdressers. and you're right, the full story is far more sympathetically told.

and surprise surprise. the sun article has missed out some very important factors

such as, oh, the baby was measuring two or three weeks behind. and that her BP was so high she could have gone into organ failure

but, hey, why let the facts get in the way of a good scandel, sun editors?


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## Tina xx

Katie, exactly hun. I wish that I knew a link for the story so that you could all read it


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## MandMtb

Katie C, I am so sorry your health care proffessionals have not taken HG seriously. I was admitted to hospital last week (week 7) with this condition and was impressed that whilst there I was asked to be part of a research project looking into how better care can be given for women with HG - I agreed, hoping it will help others in the future as it really is a terrible condition and I am so scared about getting through my pregnancy with it, as I know I am still in early pregnancy. I dont know how you manage when you have other children?! So I sympathise with the woman who made the decision to abort and also am saddened in trying to highlight this condition she was judged and her story sensationalised.


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## FBbaby

i agree that the newspaper must have immediately seen the media effect of this case, which really is a very sad one. I have two friends who have suffered to the extend of having to spend half their pregnancies in hospital because of HG. Both of them would never ever have considered abortion before. One did manage to keep going, but I didn't think she would. I was utterly shock when I saw her after about 3 weeks. She had gone from a size 10-12 to a size 4-6, looked so ill, it's liked she had aged 10 years. She is a very strong woman but it is not determination that allowed her to keep going but the fact that she was so weak, she couldn't even consider the operation. The other had two children and she had suffered badly with both, again requiring some hospital stay. She really hesitated to go for a third one because of the effect her second pregnancy had on everyone, but she felt so broody, she managed to convince her husband. She said that if she thought it had been bad the first two times, she had no idea. She was so poorly that time that she was told she was putting her foetus at risk. She couldn't function at all and this was putting quite some pressure on her family. In the end, against all she believed in and what she so deeply desired, she decided to go and have an abortion. She cried for months afterwards. A year later, they decided to go for adoption.

I haven't suffered badly from MS, but it was disabilitating enough and I can respect that it can be in some cases so utterly awful, all your feelings of desire for your baby disappear to leave you with a desire for self-preservation.


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