# Anyone else having trouble deciding?



## Guest (Aug 8, 2009)

DP's AF is due on tuesday and she will start down regging on day 21 for our first FET. We are currently changing our mind constantly about how many to put back  

Rational head: 
We have been advised that we have just as much chance of a BFP with 1 cycle with 2 embies, or 2 cycles with 1 embie each.
Having twins would be very hard and would cripple us financially with 3 LOs in childcare.
I worry about the effect on DS with 2 new babies to suddenly share his life with.
We must consider the increased risk to DP and the babies with a twin pregnancy.

Irrational head:
WE WANT TO BE PREGNANT NOW!

Anyone else finding it hard to make this decision, or any words of advice from anyone who has already made it?


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## wardyy (Jul 28, 2008)

Hi Moo - had exactly this dilemma ourselves. How many frosties do you have? We only had 2 so thawed them both and decided that we if were lucky enough that they both thawed well we would use them both. They thawed very well and so have both on board - at least I hope they are still there and snuggling in for the next 9 months   
After we had ET the nurse told us that by putting 2 back the chances of just one working are far higher - apparently one encourages the other to take - sounds   to me but they should know I guess.
We also have DD, 5 on Wednesday, so worry how she would cope with 2 little ones. Then we thought people go through this naturally all the time and you just would cope - whatever happened.
It is a very personal decision but we just felt our chances were greater putting back 2 rather than 1. Will find out next week whether it has worked or not.
Good luck
Claire xxx


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2009)

Hi Claire, I do hope at least one embie holds on  
The thing the nurse said to you is something that our clinic is currently researching. They think that the embies and uterine lining 'communicate' chemically with each other in some way - cool! We have 4 embies on ice  
Please let me know how test date goes xx


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## cutelittlepumpkin (Nov 1, 2007)

Hi Moo,

We are having a similar dilema, we have six month old twin boys and have a good crop of snowbabies in the freezer and are currently trying to decide whether SFET or DFET would make most sense, we are planning for DW to start treatment next year when funds allow! 

It's so difficult I would feel bad about wasting a good embie if we had two good ones defrost(our clinic dosen't re-freeze), but would want to maximise DW chances as she has had a long wait for it to be her turn, but are not sure if we are ready for a second set of twins! DW jokes, "what if one spilt and we got triplets" ??!!

CLP


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## Guest (Aug 10, 2009)

Hi CLP, so glad you came onto this thread. I posted last year when we started TTC with DP (OMG is it that long!) as I was worried and jealous about not being pregnant again. I have discovered that you and I are quite uncommon as most gay couples seem to have just one partner carrying the LOs. I just wondered if you would share your thoughts with me on how you feel 
Re the triplets - there is another gay couple on FF who have just got preggers with triplets on 2nd medicated IUI


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## cutelittlepumpkin (Nov 1, 2007)

Hey Moo,

I will admit that I am jealous of DW having the next baby, but I know what it is to have that all consuming desire to be PG and how special it is to hold and nuture that little person (people) inside, and what a truely wonderful experience it is and how much closer can we get to a 'genetic' child (ie from us both) than DW carrying my embryo!   I can't wait to confuse and bemuse by saying "She PG with my child"   LOL (DW has a lot of genetic risk hence why using my eggies/embryos) 

Yeah I have seen 'kelz'  & her amazing triplet PG on the LBGT boards! LOL 

We are not worried about another set of twins as such, more the idea of a second set so close in age to the first! As we are planning to start again around the boy first birthday, we did um and ah about waiting a little longer but our first TTC journey took five years, so are keen to get going just in case!     

Anyway if we run out of frosties we will probably be looking at eggshare and we only have 3 years before cut off for that!  


The question is how many SFET do we try before we more onto DFET Oh it is so hard!    We don't want to reduce DW chances to much! 

CLP


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## Guest (Aug 10, 2009)

That would be a perfect scenario for us too - one of you carrying the other's child is such a wonderful thing. We have 4 frosties and if we ever get to the point that DP says enough is enough, I would love if we had one left that I could carry. I think there is a rather selfish underlying reason aswell for me not wanting to put 2 embies back in - we both want a maximum of 3 kids so if DP carries twins then there is no chance that I will ever be pregnant again  . It is such a strong and overwelming desire and has never really gone away since DS was born. I guess it is some sort of evolutionary instinct that makes us forget morning sickness and labour pains  
Wish the professionals could tell us what to do!


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## livity k (May 19, 2009)

Hi 
We had SET on our fresh cycle and have decided to go for 2 on our frozen as one didn't work, still not sure I want twins but really really want it to work...

Good luck with whatever you decide.

K x


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## NellieP (Jan 19, 2005)

I can totally sympathise with your dilemma!  

I am due to have a FET in the next couple of weeks but do I a.  have two embryos put back or a single blast?  I don't know which option would give me the greatest success.  I have my beautiful daughter and feel blessed to have her but feel so sorry for her on her own being an only child.  

Do I have the two embryos put back but looking at the statistics of FET there seems to be only a 10% change of it working (although I'm not sure if these statics are based on SFET or DFET) against fresh IVF which is a 25% of it working. 

Surely if I only have a 10% chance of FET working I should have two embryos put back in but I don't know if I could cope if it resulted in twins!! 

sorry if I have waffled on too much but I am totally driving my self mad, so I thought I might as well drive you lovely ladies mad as well  

Lots of luck to you all

NellieP


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## Guest (Aug 11, 2009)

Nellie - atleast we can all go mad together


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## cutelittlepumpkin (Nov 1, 2007)

I second that!   

CLP


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## Mrs Rock (Jun 30, 2009)

Hi all

I am really struggling with this too.

We have just had BFN 2 weeks ago from our 1st fresh cycle.  We had 1 5 day blast put back which we were told was top notch but it didn't take  

We have 2 more blasts frozen which were good but not as good as the one we had put back.  Now hoping to do FET in October.  It seems reasonable to put both back this time (if they both thaw ok  ), as if the better one didn't stick surely these ones have even less chance.  But my issue is that I have a really bad back and am plannning surgery to help it as soon as I have managed a pregnancy, whenever that turns out to be, and I am really worried about the extra damage that the extra weight of a twin pregnancy could cause me.  

But I SO want it to work.....NOW....I know you'll all understand that feeling.

Any thoughts?
thanks


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