# Miscarriage after Natural FET



## 21dancechick (Aug 29, 2014)

Hi ladies,

I am just after some support after our natural FET in September. 

We have had 2 failed ICSI cycles but we had 3 frosties from our last cycle so we decided to do a natural FET in September. I had an endo scratch (I have had 3 now), I did everything to prepare my body, added extra supplements, had acupuncture etc. We decided to have 2 embryos transferred. On the day of transfer we had a day 6 and day 5 embryo transferred, the embryologist said everything looked good but never told us the grades. The 2ww was extremely hard this time as I was so frightened about bleeding as last time we didn't get to test day. Anyway, on 3rd October we got a BFP. I was amazed. Unfortunately last week I started bleeding and the clinic confirmed it was a chemical pregnancy. The next day my sister announced she was 6 weeks pregnant - I am totally devastated. 

I just don't know which way to turn. My husband's sperm is surgically retrieved as he had a vasectomy and he's older too. I can't help thinking something is wrong. I have had all sorts of tests and I am supposedly ok. Our clinic assure us there is nothing wrong with the sperm. How do they know that?! I feel like they just fob us off every time! Chemical pregnancies happen because of abnormalities don't they?!

We have one frosty left but I just don't know what to do. I feel so desperate at the moment. 

Any advice? xx


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## Jdyson (Aug 26, 2013)

Hi 21dancechick

I'm I'm a similar position so know how you feel. I've had 4 cycles, 2 pregnancies which both ended in miscarriages and this weekend my sister in law announced she was 3 months pregnant which I should have been.

Time is a healer, and you should put yourself first and do what is best for you. I too have one more frostie which I will use in January as I feel I have nothing to lose. Our issue is sperm motility, and I've had tests and nothing has been found. We had a review meeting with the top consultant this week and he says in 90% of miscarriages there is a problem with the egg and had told us about new testing that is available if we do decide to have another fresh cycle.

When you feel ready you could try again with the frostie as we continue hoping that it might be the one.

Take care xx


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## Smileycat (Jul 20, 2014)

Hi 21 Dancechick

I had a chemical pregnancy followed by a miscarriage. I am currently having immune tests, thyroid and blood clotting etc. Have you had a follow up consultation? It sounds like implantation is not an issue, they may suggest further tests. Have a look at the immunes testing threads and Agate's guide for further info.

Unfortunately chemical pregnancies and miscarriages are largely due to abnormalities and unless they test the embryos before they transfer, there is no certainty that they will be free of abnormalities. 

Wish you the best
x


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## 21dancechick (Aug 29, 2014)

Thanks for replying ladies. This whole process is so hard. 

Jdyson - how are you coping with your sister in law being pregnant? My sister has text this afternoon about her appointment with the midwife. I have ignored it, I just can't cope. I feel so mean for shutting her out but its the only way I can deal with it. It was meant to be my time, not hers. She has kids, I don't. God I sound so mean don't I?! 

We have a follow up appointment on Saturday. I think my hubby is ready to give up as the money situation is not great and he can't take the heartbreak. Plus I just can't decide on when to use the other frosty, maybe give myself until new year. I am so impatient though, I just want to start again. 

Have you thought about a life without kids? I just can't get my head round it. 

Hope you are ok xx


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## Jdyson (Aug 26, 2013)

Hi 21dancechick

They came round to our house on Saturday and they just blurted it out, they too have a 1 year old. I didn't react well and ran upstairs and stayed there until they left. I was devastated and could not stop crying. I've now moved on to being angry. Angry that they have no problems but most of all their insensitivity towards us as they know what has happened to us.

I've decided that I will keep my distance from them. Whilst husbands family may not approve I am putting myself first to give myself time.  I'm tired of suffering in silence and pretending that I'm ok, if someone upsets me why shouldn't I let them know!

It's not mean, we just need people to understand how we feel and accept the difficulties we face.

I've also booked to see a counsellor to talk through what happened.  I don't know if it will help but it's worth a try.

Xx


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