# LWC - Darlington update



## janeandadam (Jul 10, 2008)

Hi everyone - just thought we'd leave an update as to how our appointment went on Friday, in case anybody else ever finds themselves in this situation!

Mr Ashour at LWC Darlington was GREAT - very kind and put me at ease almost immediately.  Both he and the other staff members we discussed our situation with (i.e Adam being a Transman) were very accepting and positive - quite a relief for Adam and I that's for sure!  We're both glad that in the end we felt able to disclose our circumstances, as it feels better to be going into this with as honnest/frank an attitude as possible.  Mr Ashour did comment that as far as he and the staff were concerned it was no big deal - in fact he said that we could have not mentioned the fact and simply asked to use donor sperm for another reason, but he did appreciate the openness. Thanks to all here for your support and thoughts on how we might want to handle this tricky situ; really helped us work out the best approach...YOU'RE ALL MARVELLOUS  

Apparently everything 'up there' looks fine and healthy for me, which was one of my major concerns before the appointment, and - subject to blood tests coming back fine and our routine appointment with the counsellor at the end of this month - we can go ahead pretty much as soon as we want to (may take 4-8 weeks for a s.donor match). 

I want to lose some weight, as my BMI is rather high, so Adam and I have been off 'route marching together this weekend to get the fitness routine started and there's more to come over the next few weeks...oh the fun really does start here eh!

We then have to decide whether we want to try IUI or go straight to IVF instead.  We were told that IVF has the higher success rate (40%) over 12% for IUI, so our initial thoughts are to try for one round of IVF  but we need to talk about this in a bit more detail. 

Has anybody else out there been in similar situation, where there appears to be no complications as such other than the need to use donor sperm?  If so, what routes did you try and which - if any - gave you success and what time frame did it take, please?...So much to consider and everything, so apologies now for all of the rambling questions  

Any thoughts, comments or advice would be really useful and much appreciated please, peeps, as would any advice re taking Clomid and the possible side effects/health risks etc.  Will check out the medication threads too though.

Thanks again everyone and hope eveyone's doing well  
Jane and Adam.


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## Mable (Apr 9, 2005)

janeandadam said:


> Has anybody else out there been in similar situation, where there appears to be no complications as such other than the need to use donor sperm? If so, what routes did you try and which - if any - gave you success and what time frame did it take, please?...So much to consider and everything, so apologies now for all of the rambling questions
> 
> Any thoughts, comments or advice would be really useful and much appreciated please, peeps, as would any advice re taking Clomid and the possible side effects/health risks etc.


Hello - I'd say that most of us in this section of the site are in this situation. For DP and I, our fertility was untested. I always considered myself to have fertility problems because I was trying to conceive using frozen sperm, which is not as effective as the fresh stuff.

It's difficult to decide whether to do natural IUI, medicated IUI, IVF etc and there are financial considerations too. Are you restricted with sperm as well? We were, and had to use it in the 'best' possible way, which led us towards IVF more quickly. I think most of us start with the most natural, cheapest option and graduate to IVF in the end if success is a long time in coming. You might get lucky with IUI and it certainly is a much easier, cheaper, less medicated procedure than IVF. IVF can get quite gruelling and after 2 unsuccessful IVF attempts, I really felt I couldn't do any more. We've had some discussions about IVF vs IUI on here before, might be worth doing a search. There's also a section on here for women who are using donor sperm, some of us post on there too. You might find some guidance there too, although there are no easy answers to these questions and unfortunately success in any of this is far from guaranteed.

Glad to hear your consultation was so positive and good luck for your decisions


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hay JaneandAdam

really pleased to hear how your consultation went!  

i just wanted to say that i would second Mable. We are about to have our third IUI end of this month.  we wanted to go for least health risk, less medicated, simplest, cheapest option first ... but possibly we will need to balance that with the stress of more BFN and time feeling like its passing and the culmative stress of that and consider IVF next year.

the thing that sometimes i have found so hard to deal with, is that everything takes so long ... you agonise over something ... you reach a milestone ... you wait ... another decision ... you hope ....the disapointment .... another decision ... the hope .... etc etc 

we had our first consultation with clinic going down a known donor route in march last year and in 17 months there have only been 3 possible opportunities for little swimmers to get anywhere near my eggs!!

so i wish you the best of luck with your tx and hope we hear good news from you guys lots of     
on your journey!


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Hoorah - that's brilliant news - I am so pleased.  You also now get the benefit of a free legal consultation with me as part of the LWC experience   So do book in - I know we've talked about the parenthood stuff here but it would still be good to talk it all through properly.  I haven't actually done any consultations with Darlington patients yet, but it should be available to you and I imagine the best thing to do would be to organise a telephone consultation with me on one of my LWC London or Cardiff days (next one next Thursday and I have one slot left I believe).

Natalie
[email protected]


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## juicy10 (Mar 16, 2008)

Glad to hear it went well, We thought Mr Ashour was good and talked each route and step through with us. Last month we had our irst IUI try and unfortunately it didnt work, but I know other that have been lucky first time with the process. We realised that we shouldnt have looked at the money side but more the success side which fair enough is alot of money but if we keep trying with IUI it might end up being the same instead of the one payment.

Presently we are about to try a different route this month(a different company) and if it doesnt work we will be bck at LWC Darlo.

Good Luck with everything. And hopefully next year you will have a baby picture up on the wall in reception lol  

Vicki and Rach


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## nismat (Mar 7, 2005)

I'm really glad to hear that the consultation went well, and that you were made to feel comfortable about sharing your situation. It must be a big relief to be able to be open about it, without any worries. 

I was at London LWC to conceive Toby; we did 6 IUIs (2 natural, 1 with just Clomid, and 3 with injectible FSH), gradually ramping up the medicalisation of it all. There was no reason why I shouldn't have conceived reasonably easily; I was 36 when we started, with a reasonable FSH level and very regular cycles. In the end though, we moved on to IVF, which worked first time (17 months on from first ttc attempt). Personally, I would not have been ready psychologically to go to IVF very much sooner than we did; I was convinced that with all my charting & monitoring of my cycle, and all the pre-conceptual health programmes that I chose to follow, that it would happen fairly quickly. Obviously it didn't, but IVF is a big thing to take on in psychological terms. By the time that we did it, it felt like a really positive step forward (as at least we would at long last be sure that egg and sperm were meeting), but at the start of the whole process, it was something I couldn't even contemplate doing. Yes, the stats are better per cycle, but IUI does often work too, for a lot less money. It really has to come down to personal choice - with gut instinct over-riding factors like finance in my opinion


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## janeandadam (Jul 10, 2008)

Thanks Mable, Aimeegaby, Natalie, Vicky & Rach and Nismat - really has been great to get your individual takes and thoughts on IUI V IVF as well as your lovely words of support.

We're back up in Darlington in 3 weeks - counselling session - and I've booked in for Hycosy test at same time to check tubes etc are clear in case we decide to try IUI first.

Adam and I are kind of the opinion that at present we can afford one round of IVF and have enough spare to try one non medicated IUI also, so it would make sense for us to try the IUI first as if we were successful then it would be the least medicated and involved of the two - plus leave plenty of funds free for little bundle  Of course we're aware of the lower success rate so if we don't have much luck then I think we'd be straight in to IVF beacuse we agree with what Vicki and Rach said, 'if we keep trying with IUI it might end up being the same instead of the one payment'

My main worry is the things I've read on other threads about how some of the IVF medication can cause problems for women who previously had none, i.e cause cysts, issues with lining thickness and cycles etc, Adam - bless - is particularly concerned about me and the taking of medication (god knows what he'll be like when we do eventually become pregnant  but it's nice to know he cares!)

I'm sure though - like everyone here - we'll find a way through all these ups and downs along the way...what is it they say?...'The journey IS the destination'...or something along those lines.

Natalie - thanks for your well wishes. We did look whilst we were at Darlington at a leaflet on your services but it wasn't offered free. Part was funded by LWC Darlington and then if memory serves me there was a charge of £100 approx - so a bit confused..? 

A big thanks again to you all - each and every one of you have really helped and even Adam says it's great that I've found such support...think it's helped restore his faith in human kind a little too, as he has been at the receiving end of bad reactions in the past.

Positive vibes to everyone  

Jane


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Hello JaneandAdam

There's lots of positive stuff jumping out from your message - if you know what I mean    . Its great to feel a plan coming together isn't it?

Good luck    

Emma xx


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## Strawbs78 (Jun 3, 2008)

Hi JaneAdam,

My DP and I went to an Inseminar at London LWC on Sat and thought it was fantastic. We have booked our initial consultation for 13 September.  I am going to egg share (donor) so am booked in for my last two blood tests this saturday at LWC and then have an appt with the sperm bank manager next week.  We want blonde hair blue eyed sperm (my partner is blonde) and we are told it is in high demand so we are going to try to reserve some as soon as possible and lots of it!!  After those two appts we are then off on holidays to the maldives for my 30th to just relax and enjoy ourselves and then the sat after we get back its initial consultation time! woop woop... 

May I ask why it might take 4 - 6 weeks to match up a sperm donor with you? Is this normal? Sorry for the questions but Im not quite that far in the process yet..

We also are going to see Natalie Gamble as well but am told we need to book this in at our first appointment, we tried to book it for the day of our first appt but was told she wasnt in that day so I am hoping when we go they will have a clearer understanding of when she comes in to the clinic or is available..  The very lovely sperm bank lady did tell us that DP could get parental responsibility prior to the baby being born and that really helped!

I found them to be excellent, nothing was a problem, it was such a calm, accepting and friendly environment and I even got a goodie bag to boot!  I discussed with the lovely sperm bank lady about if we were lucky to have a 2nd pregnancy then we would like to explore the option of both DP and I donating eggs but me then taking her eggs and I carry her bio child and she said it shouldnt and wouldnt be a problem and that was a great relief..

I was so pleased to go to the Inseminar as it really confirmed for me that LWC was the place for us..

Anyone thinking of going to LWC if you go to one of their Inseminars at the clinic and you book on the day your initial consult is only 125 (payable on day of first consult not payable immediately) rather than 295 which is a super big saving.  They also do saturday appts.  And anyone else doing egg sharing - I got all my tests done on NHS except cystic Fibrosis and Chromosonal analysis which the clinic will do for me (£190 for both) but they take 6 - 8 weeks to come back which I was a bit shocked about so make sure you factor that in as if you dont get them done before then obv there is a 2 month wait to see if you qualify before you can start.. yaddy yadda..

x


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## janeandadam (Jul 10, 2008)

Thanks for the good luck wishes Emmalottie - lets hope we also get a BFP jumping out from the posts at 
some point in the not too distant future too eh? 

Stawbs78 - really pleased your Inseminar went well for you and you feel that LWC is the right choice for you both.  We certainly liked the Darlington clinic at our initial consultation.

Can't really comment on the issue of trying to book an appointment with Nat Gamble but we did have a little confusion in booking the Counsellor (have you been advised if you also need to do this at all?)

We were of the impression that we'd be seeing the Counsellor at the same time as our Initial Consultation but were advised that as she only comes in Thursday that we would have to book another appointment to see her - major hassle as we already have to travel 2 hours there and 2 hours back so it's another day off work and extra fuel costs and that's before we get started!

However we understand that these things can happen, so have booked in to see her at the same time of the Hycosy test in September.

Re the sperm donor question - no probs you asking, ask away!   Like you, we are seeking a blonde/brown haired and blue eyed donor to match Adam's profile and the embryologist we saw advised us that it can take roughly that length of time for her to obtain suitable matches - not a major problem for us though as I'm trying to reduce my BMI (ideally we too would like to egg share with me being a donor) but I have a little way to go yet  hence us funding the first round of treatment ourselves.  

We are waiting to hear back from her re suitable matches over the forthcoming weeks, although she did mention that if we hadn't heard anything and wanted to get started then we could happily call her for an update - she was very approachable and helpful, as all of the Darlington team seemed to be.  Unlike you two we weren't advised that blue eyes and blonde haired donors were in short supply...not sure why if that is the case...I can understand it being popular though but I did hear somewhere that apparently LWC has one of the largest sperm banks in the UK so had assumed that if anyone could source it with little hassle LWC would have the most success - will keep you posted on how we go.

Lucky you with your trip to the Maldives - Happy 30th in advance...ENJOY!!  

If there's anything else you'd like to ask as you go along then feel free to PM me - obviously we're not at the same clinic but it's the same brand!

Best of luck to both of you with your Initial Consultation on the 13th - do let us know how you get on.


Jane x


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hi 

dp and i live in spain, and we got to have a telephone session with the counsellor through LWC so you could ask for that too ....

aimeexx


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## janeandadam (Jul 10, 2008)

Hi Aimee - where abouts in Spain are you both living?  We lived and worked in property development for 18 months in the Canary Islands - Fuerteventura - 4 years ago.  Looking at the state of things in the UK sometimes, we wonder whether we made the right move to come back!   but needs must especially for TTC - no clinics on Fuerte!

Thanks for the heads up re the phone counselling - we did already ask whether we could do this and were informed that certainly for the first session the counsellor wanted to see us face-face to build a rapport!  I can sort of understand the thinking behind that though.  I guess with you guys being definitely 'out of the vicinity' then it's slightly different.

Out of interest, is there any reason why you chose LWC rather than a fertility clinic in Spain? We did look at several in Madrid etc but decided against it due to extra hassle with travelling etc.

Best of luck and thanks again
Jane
x


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hi jane

we live near gibraltar right at the bottom of spain.  my dp gaby is gibraltarian and we moved here three years ago.  we moved partly because we thought it would be a nice place to have babies (lower cost of living) and partly because dp's ma was diagnosed with cancer the day of my dad's funeral for cancer and she really wanted to live nearer her parents after 17 years living in london.

we come back to uk for tx to start with because i cldnt really cope with the idea of trying to negociate the spanish system, and felt more comfortable back in uk where i would speak the language and understand the system better.  also i get to visit my friends and family which is great.  recently i did look into spanish clincs as one opened very near us.  in spain the do seem (in general) to over medicate compared to the uk and that sort of puts me off.  but in the end they told us that they wont use traceable donors in spain.  and i think for me that is very important.

to be honest as someone with a fair amount of experience of counsellors (my mother is psychotherapist and i have therepy at the moment and have had it in the past) the telephone session dp and i had through LWC was rediculous.  a real missed opportunity.  im sure that you might be able air some concerns in one session ... but i really feel its a formality as i dont think really there would be enough time in 50 mins to deal with anything really indepth.  so i wouldnt wrorry about it too much.  just a bit of a pain to get there.

best of luck ax


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

just wanted to ad that dp's mummy is fine ... had chemo and is doing really well ... in remission!


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## janeandadam (Jul 10, 2008)

Crikey, sounds like a lot has happened for you both in the last few years - very sorry to hear about your dad and your dp's mum but really good to hear that she's in remission.  

Can sympathise with wanting to be nearer to parents etc - can be v.difficult when living overseas, though for both you there must be quite a pull to try and be in two places at once!  Adam's dad died unexpectedly in Feb of this year and it was bad enough with us being only 2 hours away from Adam's mum, let alone if we'd have been in Fuerte still.

Re the Spanish clinics, seems to be a case of swings and roundabouts doesn't it?  The main thing is you're using the clinic that you feel most comfortable with and I think that's more important than anything else - fingers crossed for a big success for you this time around! 

Interesting to hear your thoughts re the counselling - we have thought similar so will just go with the flow...

Best of luck at the end of this month with your next attempt - we're still deciding which route to take.  The stories I've read re some of the side effects and problems that can be caused by the fertility drugs have worried me somewhat, and at present we're trying to find out about Natural IVF though we know that would mean lower success as only one egg would be collected per cycle..

Take care and give our regards to the Med,

Hasta Luego!
Jane
x


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hay jane

thanks for the   on my dad ... and to you with adam's dad

yeah i suppose youre right it has been pretty full on in the last few years!



fingers crossed more full on with a new family member!!!   

good luck with deciding the TX option ... whatever you decide will be the right thing.  

sending LOTS AND LOTS OF   for you and adam!


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## Strawbs78 (Jun 3, 2008)

Hi Janeadam

I am so surprised re the sperm donor match and how long it might take, I dont know why but I always just thought it would be much like looking through a catalogue and you could say 'yes number 6538 is the one for me and I will take 8 vials of the stuff please'  but obviously  not!    I am so relieved and pleased now I went with my gut and booked an appt to see the sperm bank manager so soon as atleast then if it is going to take a while then they can do it whilst we are away..

So have you told them what you are looking for i.e. hair colour, eye colour and height and then they just go through their database to see what comes out as a match or is there more to it than that?  

I am so pleased we are going through it effectively at the same clinic at roughly the same time (well you a little further ahead of me) so then I can pick your brain - hope you dont mind!

I got conflicting reports re the counselliing, the clinic nurse said it was mandatory and the sperm bank lady said it was optional so I guess we will see..

Would you mind letting me know what a Hycosy test is? I am getting my final two tests done tomorrow (cystic Fib and chromosone analysis) so does that mean I will need another test?  I already feel like a proper pin cushion.. ha ha

Thanks for the birthday wishes and I will definitely update you once I have had my tests tomorrow and see the SBM next week, hopefully by then I should know alot more..

xx


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## janeandadam (Jul 10, 2008)

Hi all - firstly thanks aimeegaby for the   - wishing you plenty back too   Would love to know how you both get on so do feel free to drop us a PM if you'd like.  The   appreciated also - as you know a death of a parent hits hard and Adam along with the rest of the family was floored by the shock and suddenness of it; his mum found his dad had literally dropped dead from a heart attack behind the front door on her return home.  There was no indication he was a walking heart attack or anything.  Needless to say everything baby making wise went on hold for quite some time but now we're both back on track   and really wanting our little bundle here soon !

Strawbs78 - hope my last post hasn't unsettled you, with it suprising you a bit re the length of time we were quoted. Apols if it has turned a few things upside down . Remember we're using different branches of the LWC so it may be diff at your end...? 

As you say, when you've spoken to the SBM then you'll know for sure what the situ is.  How did things go with your last lot of tests?

You asked about the Hycosy - well that's only done if you're looking at DIUI; checks the tubes are clear to allow the egg to travel down and meet up with the little    ! As you're going for IVF can't see you'd need that doing unless you looked at DIUI too but obviously check that out with the clinic! 

We wanted to check everything was in working order so that we then knew that all options were available to us. However, since then Adam and I have decided that IVF seems a more certain route than DIUI and have cancelled Hycosy and are looking into natural IVF, i.e without drugs, albeit we know that greatly reduces chances per cycle as only one egg would be collected but with the possible health risks of drugs I'd feel better if I checked out options for a cycle without first.

As for the donor matching, yeah Adam and I sat and filled out a form with both our charcteristic details on i.e our hair, eye colour, ethnic background, religion, height, build etc and then were asked to hi-light what specific aspects we wanted in our donor along similar lines.  In our case we matched mainly for Adam's side of things hence blonde/brown haor and blue eyes.

More than happy to share experiences with you both - feel free to pick our brains and I'm sure we will want to pick yours along the way too   Always feels better when you're not the only ones going though something, don't you think?  That's why this forum and the people on here are fabulous - it might get rough and rocky but it's the shared goal and experiences that help get you through, one way or the other...after all, isn't that what life's about; helping each other   

Anyhow must fly but do post/PM and let us know how things go and we'll do the same.

 to us all!

Jane
x


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hi jane 

sounds horrid for adam's mum finding his dad like that ... how awfull.  my dad was diagnosed 9 mnths before he died, and although that was very sad, it also allowed us time to prepare there werent any thngs left unsaid which was a blessing.  when someone dies suddenly it is such a shock and can leave you  with so much unresolved feelings.  

will def keep in touch re our tx.

good to hear you have made decision with yours.

good luck with choosing your donor.  i found it really hard the first time but we have chosen three times now and i kind of dont really mind too much who it anymore!!    aslong as it does the job!


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## Strawbs78 (Jun 3, 2008)

Ive just pasted this from another thread I updated In (I thought I was updating this one but clearly I was confused!  )

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to post a super quick update on me and Nicky..  We had our appt with the sperm bank manager at lwc london yesterday and it was fab!  Went spent half an hour going through our wants and not wants and he said that they have some blonde peeps on file so fingers crossed he will be sending me through the profiles via email by Friday and then we will get to choose!     .  He also said my test results will be def back ini by the time we go for our initial appointment so we can just get matched up and get going...

Once we have chosen one we will buy three rounds to ensure we are using the same donor, pay the storage fee and then its all done and dusted for when we get back from holidays and have our first appointment.. All we need to do then is find an egg recipient, get matched up and woop woop we are on our way to being mummies..    

Oh and I also got my questionnaire finally through from Kings which we will send off so it just all feels like its finally coming together!!

Im on top of the world today and I hope it lasts!!

xxxx


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## Strawbs78 (Jun 3, 2008)

_Im so lost as to what threads Im in right now Im just copying and pasting in to a couple.._

Hey ladies.. 

I just wanted to pop on and say have a great long weekend..

No swimmers profiles for us today unfortunately, called LWC earlier were told they hadnt gotten them to us as promised as they were 'busy'..  I have to say I was disappointed..  I reminded him we go on holiday next week (which seemed to jog his memory) and we needed to get it sorted prior to going due to coming in so soon after getting back and he apologised and said I would have them Tuesday or Wednesday which only gives us a day or so to choose etc etc so I guess Nicky and I will be speed reading!! ha ha.. Anyway Im not going to let it deflate me it will be what it will be ..

Im off in about 40 minutes for a long weekend which is perfectly timed, I think we all deserve it..

xx


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