# Baby Envy



## Bubblicious

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2102376/Baby-envy-The-new-social-divide.html

/links


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## orangegerbera

I could so relate to elements of this article!


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## Jacks girl

Ditto x


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## littlepigeon67

Me too!!! xx


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## April33

And me! xx


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## elli78

woah just had a sneak at this during my lunch break and yep i can relate to everything!!!! 

x


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## irishpete

From an infertile guy's perspective - yep, I completely agree too.  So many of my friends are announcing pregnancies and it does become quite unbearable, especially when you have scan pictures shoved in your face.  My DW and I have been married almost 8 years - and people still insist on questioning when are we going to have children, or maybe say, you've got plenty of time etc etc.

If only they knew!


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## butterfeena

FINALLY an article in the public domain about this. I haven't told any of my friend with kids I am having IVF, I just can't but if one more person tells me i need to get a move on because of my age I'm going to smile sweetly and then punch them!


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## Jacks girl

butterfeena said:


> FINALLY an article in the public domain about this. I haven't told any of my friend with kids I am having IVF, I just can't but if one more person tells me i need to get a move on because of my age I'm going to smile sweetly and then punch them!


 Or the it will be your turn next comment xxxx


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## OOZ

I just don't like when this is called envy or jealousy  I think you feel a pinch of jealousy when you neighbour buys a new shiny red car, or you visit a nice house of your friend's that is so much better than yours. This is more like jealousy, but calling loaning for a child jealousy is like waiving a red flag to a bull! 
I'm sure only those who went through it would understand but I do think that it's so important to continue educating people and trying to explain this to women around us, who never had to do anything with infertility, even though it constantly feels like a loosing battle.

OOz


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## Emms80

I can relate to that article too and im going through all the mixed feelings about my best friends unplanned pregnancy at the moment. Havent been able to face her since she announced and feel awful for avoiding her, shes my best friend so i should he happy for her right? I tried explaining to her about why im distant at the mo and she told me to not dwel on it as 'passion makes a  baby not being upset' so now also feel patronised and hurt. Im just hoping with a bit of time the feelings will fade and our friendship will be ok


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## vanessa1

Emms80' I wouldn't speak to my friend again if she said that to me! Awful! I don't think people with kids really think, they can be so tactless. Poor you x

I am at the moment going through an awful situation, my DH and I have been trying for about 7 years and in March did ICSI, miracle of miracles we got a BFP! My husband rang his sister, who is 46 and has a 12 year old boy with a firstmarriage, she's just got engaged and been talking about having IVF for her fiancé as he doesn't have kids. Anyway my DH rang her, so excited and said it's very early days but you're going to be an Auntie! She turned around and said I don't want to rain on your parade but you're going to be an Uncle! Well after the heartache of trying for 7 years and never having got pregnant, I was in complete shock and felt a bit gutted, it could end up a cruel joke if the worst happened?
Well, it did yesterday, I miscarried and all our dreams of our beautiful baby are gone, now I just have my sister in law having a baby that's she conceived naturally exactly the same time as we paid for our expensive treatment and now I have to see her grow and have a baby the same age as mine would have been, so awful. 
I wish her a happy and healthy pregnancy but I know it's going to be really hard to be around.
Let's hope we have her luck and miracle comes our way sometime soon x


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## cheekypants

Really feel for you, I pray that you get ur wish very soon   
L.x


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## ali80

Really interesting read, I have always thought I was some weird psycho that hated all pregnant women, but looks like there are many that have similar feelings   Dh said I needed to see a counsellor to talk about these feelings.......something I never get round to doing   
One of the worst things I hear are when family members say "we're going to try for another baby after Christmas" AAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Vanessa -   constant reminders are the worst, especially if its someone close  
Ali x


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## shortbutsosweet

Hi
I can also relate, I only told my mum about my fertility issues.
I am lucky to pregnant naturally but it's been tough getting here and dealing with comments from well meaning friends and relatives in a big family.


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## goldbunny

does anyone else's mother put up pictures around her home of other people's babies? I'll go round there and there will be some chubby youngster on the sideboard in a nice frame, some friend of hers will have sent the pic, and it is so hard - i can't say anything, it's her house, she can put up whatever pictures she likes, but i feel like, she's decided i'm not having any so is finding her own replacements...i can't help feeling it should be *my* babies there.. but i can't seem to magic them up.. i feel sort of invisible... 

and someone commented about location,location.location - argh, i love that show, but it drives me crazy when the young couple buy the house and then it looks like 5 minutes later and they're pregnant and carrying a toddler.. as if it's all just something everyone does easily..and the worst ones are where they had all these plans and then are sitting there going 'ah well we couldn't buy the second house in the end because we found out we were four months pregnant! arghhhhhh - how blissful that sounds... imagine skipping all the worry and POAS and scans and treatments and just *magically* finding out you were pregnant - yet sometimes they look almost disappointed that their plans have changed.. 

i feel so sad about missing out on all my friends children growing up but i just couldn't do it, i couldn't cope with sitting there playing 'auntie' all the time.. i would just have cried and the children would never have understood. i have always felt like i was a bit of a freak for feeling like this so it is sort of reassuring that i am not alone.


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## kiteflyer

I wouldn't normally read anything from the Mail but this sums up how I feel glad its just not me. I just wish other people could appreciate how hard it is for those struggling with fertility issues but its just something not talked about.

Thankfully once babies are about 6 months old I can cope with them, after all its not their fault.


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## suz74

Wow I can identify with the whole article....at the start of my journey I was quite postive - but as time dragged on and more obstacles came up ie having to lose weight - my partners diagnosis of klinefelter - just missing out on the donor sperm we wanted and having to transfer clinics I slowly became more and more low and depressed  ....at the start of this year I was in a v v dark place I felt so much hate for pregnant women I avoided them wherever possible but felt such bitterness towards many .....I then felt like an evil cow for having such thoughts and I constantly beat myself up for it   ........talking to family and my partner has really helped me though and I feel ive turned a corner this last couple of months esp now we have  a donor and my treatment is iminent! ......it really is tough and I just wish more people understood how excluded you feel and how infertility affects your whole life xxxx


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## confused123

it is good that i could read how i feel


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