# Hello everyone. . . .



## Naomi.B (Sep 28, 2010)

Hello, this will be my second cycle of IVF but this time with my new partner, we have been married almost a month   
I have tubal disease grade 2, which has left me with a 20% chance of natural conception. 
We start our treatment in Jan, maybe before xmas. 

I didnt look for support during my last cycle, but I am coming to terms with my situation now, and feel its time to find others who are able to understand and empathise, I hope to make lots of new friends too  

Naomi.


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## HOPEx (Sep 7, 2010)

Hi Naomi

I just wanted to say hi and good luck  xx


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## nevergiveuphope (Feb 28, 2010)

Hello Naomi,
I'm also about to start my 2nd cycle of IVF. I used this wonderful website extensively last time and it really helped me to understand i wasn't alone. I found that my friends and family didn't really understand what my husband and me were going through as none of them had experienced infertility and so i came on here to find women who I could relate to. I haven't been on for a while as when my previous cycle failed I felt I just needed to have some clear headspace. But now it's about to start again and I'm back looking for friends! I wish you lots of luck and positive vibes for your journey. Anna xx


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## Naomi.B (Sep 28, 2010)

Hello Anna, 

thank you for your message, I wish you the best of luck  

My family have not been the best support and have felt very disappointed in a lot of them, but what you say is right, If they are not going through it they will find it hard to relate, but ive noticed people are not great at listening, just listening. . . . . they tend to talk and say things like "you never know" and "i heard of a couple who . . ." i'm sure they have good intentions, but it becomes very tiresome , and then the lonely feelings kick in. 

but now ive found this site  

hope to hear how things go through your treatment. 

Naomi


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## Naomi.B (Sep 28, 2010)

Hello Hope, thank you for the welcome


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## HOPEx (Sep 7, 2010)

Hi Naomi

My family arent very understanding either, i just think they dont know what to say for the best.. Sometimes it would be nice for them to ask me if i am ok, and maybe give me a hug, but they just wont....

My boss at work has just found out she is preg and she sits right opposite me, so everyday i have that to contend with. I am very happy for her, but sometimes i just cant deal with things.... 

People do tend to say things that are very hurtful, but they dont mean to be, its because as anna has said they have never been through it so they havent a clue what we are going through   

Everywhere you turn at the mo, there is someone with a bump. It makes you feel like getting under your quilt and not coming out  

Anyway, i wish you luck with your journey

xxx


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## Naomi.B (Sep 28, 2010)

Hi Hope 

If I could hug you I would !   

I have the opposite problem, I work in social care with Children and families. . . . those who know my situation treat me like I cant deal with anything remotely related to parenting or babies. . . . my mum is my boss ! so she is a nightmare. thing is i'm so good at getting on with my work and concentrating on other peoples issues that i dont even think about mine, then my mum would say "are you sure you can deal with this case" it's exhausting, because then i start thinking about my situation when i was just fine before, I understand that it would effect most people but i'm fine if it's anything to do with work. 

I have given up talking to her now, it winds me up too much . . . . . once she said "it's just as hard having 5 children" WTF?!   

what a stupid thing to say ! it's completely different, !  but another person who is crap at listening. 

ah . . . . I feel better now  

Thanks 
Naomi


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## nevergiveuphope (Feb 28, 2010)

I totally get what you mean Hope, My 2 best friends are preganant at the mo which makes me sad   It shouldn't and i feel so selfish for feeling this way but i can't help it. I'm lucky that my family have been supportive but they don't really know what to say. The worst i heard was 'you should just go on holiday, that way you'll relax and it'll just happen when you least expect it'. I wanted to scream and then cry and then hide away  . Most days i'm ok, I'm pretty positive about the whole thing and I truely beleive it will work and i will be someones mummy one day, i just have to wait my turn. If i didn't think that IVF would work for me i wouldn't do it. So, I'm positive and i just try not to go too green when i see my friends baby bumps! xx


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## Naomi.B (Sep 28, 2010)

'you should just go on holiday, that way you'll relax and it'll just happen when you least expect it' - 

i'm so tired of people saying things like that, it makes me feel like they just want to end the conversation because THEY cant deal with it or feel uncomfortable. . . .  it also makes you feel awful if it doesn't happen.


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## nevergiveuphope (Feb 28, 2010)

Naomi, I think our posts got caught in the cross fire! My job involves working with teenagers and families and like you i'm fine with that until someone who knows my situation asks me if i'm ok or makes some reference to my 'situation'. Then, when a minute earlier i was fine, I feel like everything goes out the window and i get really emotional (not in front of everyone i hasten to add, the last thing i need is all my other collegues thinking i'm completely loosing the plot!) Basically, i'm fine until someone asks if i'm fine and then I'm not any more!!


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## Naomi.B (Sep 28, 2010)

it really is good to speak to someone who understands. 

xxx


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

to FF Naomi.

Please have a good look around the site and feel free to post in any area, and make yourself at home. There are many who are on their TTC journey, and others who have been fortunate to have little ones with assistance. You will soon discover that our members are very encouraging of one another and offering advice or just simple hugs. There's a vast amount of information here for everyone, so start reading, posting and getting to know others. You will make some great friends too, lots of members often have meet ups locally too, for chats, coffee, shopping or even nights out! You can share conversations with one another freely, simply because we all understand each other. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what this journey entails and the emotions that go with it. That's where we come in!

Here are some links which you should find really useful at the moment&#8230;&#8230;

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Complimentary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ *CLICK HERE 

*Tubal Factors ~ *CLICK HERE

*IVF General ~ *CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment.

*Cycle buddies ~ *CLICK HERE Here are the cycle buddies for Dec/Jan 09/2010  Pop by and introduce yourself 
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=55.0

Lots of ladies find it good therapy to write a diary, get everything off your chest or simply read others diaries ... *Keep a diary of your treatment ~ * 
CLICK HERE

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. It's a small world!

Wishing you lots of luck    and 
Keep in touch
Ceri xx

PS I have also sent you a pm (private message)


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