# We've found a match - now I'm panicking!



## KateC100 (May 29, 2013)

Hi - I'm hoping for some reassurance. We've just had a phone call to say that matching panel, introductions and moving in dates have been set. If all goes well we're going to be bringing home two LOs at the beginning of March.  I am so excited, of course, but have immediately started panicking.  We have had the children's CPRs for some time and we have read them many times, we've had in depth practical conversations about their needs, done A LOT (!) of reading and have taken all the training seriously but now I'm panicking and feeling like I know nothing, that I won't know how to parent them, that all the unknowns I knew to expect are overwhelming.  Did anyone else feel like this - please say yes!


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## Perkins2 (Feb 27, 2016)

I'm nowhere near that stage but I'm sure that's exactly how I will be feeling! I babysat my nephew over Christmas & he was a nightmare & made me doubt that I would have any parenting skills. I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal, I think even people who have their own birth children feel like that. My friend told me after having her son she felt completely unprepared & didn't even like him for a month.

Im sure there will be people on here better placed to answer that question but I know that the sort of things I'll be thinking are - what am I letting myself in for? Is the nice life I have now with holidays etc going to be ruined? & am I going to be in a situation that I can't cope with. 

What you've got to do is remember all the reasons you wanted to adopt in the first place & the support the agency can offer. My LA isn't rated as very good but they still supplied one of my colleagues with a support worker for a year to help her with one of her adopted children. The difference it made was amazing. The support is always there if you need it. 

The main thing you've got to remember is, you must have the skills otherwise you wouldn't have got to this point of the process. Good luck xx


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Totally. It is because you want it so much. Stop worrying because no amount of worrying reading prepares you for the time you become a family. It is truely the most amazing and scary time all at the same time. My face ached from smiling, i have never been so completely exhausted. I hit emotional lows. Worried i wouldn't be able to do it. Too be honest we are now 5 years on and i still pinch myself shed a tear of pride and could quite happily scream the place down all in the same day. Its called being a parent. 


Allow yourself to enjoy meeting your family. It will be flaming hard and yeah you will make mistakes but as my little girls school says its only a mistake if you don't learn from it. The world will go topsy turvy for awhile.


I am unbelievably proud to be a mummy to an adopted little girl she melted our families heart like no other niece, nephew or grandchild has.  She made my dreams come true.


Congratulations enjoy becoming a family talk to people and most importantly do not beat yourself up when it goes wrong. Xx


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## KateC100 (May 29, 2013)

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply - you both made lots of sense!  Had a major melt down last night which I think suitably scared my hubby but think you are totally right - it's just because I want it so bad.  It's been a heart breaking and exhausting journey at times and now we're here it's just so special it's overwhelming! I keep looking at their picture and feel so excited as well as scared - I CANNOT wait to meet them!
Thanks again for your responses.  I will no doubt be back for more advice soon!


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## Darmum (Nov 24, 2015)

Hi Kate,

Congratulations on your matching!
We've just had our matching panel earlier this week and our intro starts next week, so we are kind of in similar stage.

I had been quite calm until last week, but actually since the Intro Planning Meeting and got the timetable, I'm feeling a bit strange!
I finished work today for adoption leave today and the nervousness is really kicking in!!

I'm trying to keep myself busy with extra washing done, ironing, started blogging etc, but oh dear, this is crazy and this must be natural protective reaction to the incoming massive change!  

Good thing was, most of the patching panel members were the same as approval panel and it was a walk in the park!  
I hope you feel a bit calmer now and all the best to the rest of your preparation!

   xxxxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Keep calm and enjoy couple time do something really special costal walk nuce lunch whatever is your thing. Live really never is the same again   xx


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## KateC100 (May 29, 2013)

You're right aaa is a Mummy we do need to make the most of the next few weeks before our lives change forever.  Will be booking in some 'us time'.
Congratulations Darmum!  I filled in my paper work for adoption leave the other day and that really made it seem even more real!  Have definately calmed down a bit.  Saw our SW in the week which really helped.  Have also put together a bit of a plan of what we need to get done and I always feel better once I have a list! Am sure your introductions will be amazing.


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