# why its hard to believe it will work this time?



## happy...hippo (Oct 12, 2011)

Hi All 
I had my BFN on Friday, after my first ivf icsi.  It was heartbreaking, as I am sure it was to all of you. 
And yes, I am planning a follow up visit and a new cycle as soon as I can but I just can't find any belief in my heart that it will work.   
I am 37 now, I had about 50% -60% chance to get pregnant, I was optimistic.  Next year ill be 38, falling thus to a less likely bracket... I'm healthy, no problems on my site just my DH with low count which we overcame successfully by icsi... two embryos on board and nothing ....
It's tough.  Maybe its just now as its still fresh but I thought is ask - how is it for you?  Is it also hard to believe...?  It is for me ...


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## yellowhope (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi Happy Hippo

Sorry about the BFN. This day last year I did my first IVF, although we got two blastocyts they didn't stick. We were gutted. I had just turned 35. Sometimes they just don't stick. In the same way if you were trying naturally (if you didn't need the fertility treatment) there is not a 100 % sucess rate for each month you try. I have read somewhere that 70% of couples will conceive on an average of 4 IVF cycles. This is what gives me hope.  I had acupuncture recently and the lady who administered it made me a lot more positive when she said that I'd only actually ever had one chance with the two embryos  from cycle one, and that could just be bad luck that they didn't stick. I know it's terrible at the moment for you both but now that you know how a cycle of treatment  affects you, you might be even more relaxed in preparing for the next. IVF/ICSI is a rollercoaster for your emotions and is probably one of the toughest things I have been through,but if we are able to reach the desired end result I have no doubt that all the torture will have been worthwhile. Take care  and best wishes.


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## happy...hippo (Oct 12, 2011)

Hi Yellowhope

thanks for your kind email.  I guess you are right - for us it really was like the first time.  When I started reading this website and saw how many times people go through IVF etc I did prepare myself and my DH for the possibiliy of going through it many times but when it actually happened - I was gutted regardless.  

Its passing ... slowly.  Yesterday I was at the stage when I was angry - and going to shops and seeing parents doesnt help!  I know, crazy...!    But I hope that at least our 2nd treatment will be easier as I know what to expect. 

Can I ask why you are doing acupuncture?  is it something which may help?  

Good luck in 2012!  It may be our year!   

x


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## dinkydott (Feb 18, 2011)

hi girls,

hi happy hippo,   once again, its so hard when you just had a bfn....but it does get easyer, and you find hope to carry on, 
i had my first, hoping the last   bfn back in aug, it was so hard, i was very neg about the next cycle, even thou i really want to get started again, which will be jan, got my dates, at min it like you are in limbo land,and ou are not getting no where, after your follow up you do feel like you are getting some where, and you will no roughly when you will be starting again, but yet still the negs creep up on you, you think well last time my cycle was great, great ems on board, i had 2 also, good grads, just didnt want to stay, .....you think why, is it me,why cant i do this, what going to be diff next time, thats the hard part next time, because you no what could be, but sweeti there is always hope and lots of girls on here, do fall second time, your bodie is ready for it, i no the % drops as cycles go on, but your bodie no the drugs now, em are like foign bodies in you body, because they are dh also, and some time your bodie thinks i dont no these, good by, now your bodie does, and next time there is hope,  keep going sweeti you can do this, im the same, xxxx


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## yellowhope (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi girls.
I did the acupuncture as I had been getting anxious and felt stressed prior to starting my third cycle. It was suggested by another member on here. I must admit I did feel quite sceptical about it and at £30 a go it could be pretty expensive.  As I went for a scan prior to commencing the third cycle the hospital consultant did a scan which showed my right ovary was about to ovulate normally as opposed to the polycystic picture that had previously been seen. The lady who did it on me is a chartered physiotherapist who is accredited for acupuncture for infertility.  There is an evidence base for showing it to actually help with fertility problems in particular electro-acupuncture which she performed on me.  Seeing the hospital scan and the one normal follicle convinced me that it must have been doing something. The physio also took a full medical history and gave dietary advice re PCOS and exercise to help me.  I will definately do it with my next cycle.  Unfortunately at my scan the hospital consultant saw a problem on my left side which required treatment and my cycle was cancelled to sort it out with a laparoscopy prior to our next cycle. I hope each day you are both getting that little bit stronger


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## dinkydott (Feb 18, 2011)

hi yellowhope,  
i did acucputure with my cycle, and yes it did help with the stress and i swear that is why i had good grade ems, but still didnt get me preg, im in two minds this time weather to do it with my next  cycle, mine was 38.00, but i have brought zita west cds this time, b4 and after ec and the 2ww relaxtions....so might just give them ago, and let it be the saying, time will tell,......


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## happy...hippo (Oct 12, 2011)

Hi Girls

thanks for all your replies!  Loveley to "see" you again Clairescott!

I have organised my follow up visit and I am seeing a doc next Tuesday.  There is a lot I want to ask about and discuss - Ill see what they say about acucputure.  I am eager to start soon but I am not sure what they will advise - some say 2 months of waiting, some 3... 

Currently I am actually researching the 3 versus 5 day enbryo transfer debate as I am no longer sure that I want to wait till 5th day.  There is obviously a lot of data showing that pregnancy rate increases after a 5 day transfer but only about 50% embryos make it that far, for various reasons, one of them being that our female culture is still much better than the artificial one.  Somewhere here on the website I remember reading that somebody's clinik prefered 3 day transfer for that exact reason ...

Anyway, I guess its at least something to think about rather then sit and be sad   although I do have a moment at least once a day  

Please keep me posted about how you are doing.  

x


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## dinkydott (Feb 18, 2011)

happy hippo 
i totaly agree with you, 
a lady i no, has had 4 cycles, many diff grades and 3 days and 5 days, her last cycle was 2day ems and she has got a bfp, so it just goes to show,
and low cells,


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## happy...hippo (Oct 12, 2011)

Hi Clairescott

yes, its so hard to know what to do, so many options... I read a but about acupuncture today - will speak to my clinic about it when I go for the follow up. 

I booked counselling as well for next week - luckily its for free at my clinic.  I hope it will help as right now I am so down... If I had to start IVF again now I just wouldn't believe in it, I feel so pessimistic... 

The lady who works for me turned up today with a photo - of her new born niece.  Perfect pregnancy, perfect birth (just ca 3h), all perfect and the mother is about 23.  I felt like screaming...  

Not my day ...

Hope you are well x


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## dinkydott (Feb 18, 2011)

good that you get free counselling, time is a great healer also my lovely, you might not think so at the min, my bfn has been 3 months now, and im so diff thinking wise than i was even 1 month back,
i didnt go counselling, i get i free meeting every ivf cycle, as nhs, but i didnt go, isome times now i wished i had, 
i hate it when pg ladys or baby are in your face, i work with a lady who about to pop, and my dp ex has just had a baby, i didnt even let her in the house when she came to pick up my step son, i could not face her, she got pg around the same time me and dp told her we was starting ivf, now i have to deal with dss talking about his new sister, do you no what i do, i just try and keep thinking that will be me one day, one way or another, we will be mummys, and we will have our perfect baby, dont fall at first fence,


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## happy...hippo (Oct 12, 2011)

Hi Clairescott26
I am starting again in January so we may be cycle buddies!  
My clinic told me I can start as soon as I wish so I am waiting for my next bleeding (which shall be end of Dec) and Ill start In January again.  I am on the long day 21 protocol - what about you?  
I am bit better this week.  How are you?
Lets pray that 2012 will be our year!  
x


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Couldnt read and run, I dnt have any experience to offer as we're still waiting our first IVF but wanted to send   and   for your next treatment


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## dinkydott (Feb 18, 2011)

hi happy hippo,

awh hunni, glad you get to go again very soon,   

well sweeti i was going to start next tx like you my dec af 26th, dr 16th jan, but change of plan,
iv had trouble with a few results from some blood tests i had, my factor 8 is low, meaning my blood is not clotting prop, its not thin its the sticky part, and its not sticky enough to clot.....my clinc said i can still cycle as it wont affect my ivf, but i was in 2 minds to start it, anyhow i got a letter from the blood guy iv been pass on to and my appt is on the 6th feb, so iv decied to start my next cycle after iv seen him, just to make sure every thing is ok for ivf and also one less stress to worrie about, so i will be starting on my jan af...24th, dr 13th feb, if all well, 
in away im glad iv got another month to sort myself out, xx

thankyou bubbles, ......i wish you all the luck in the world also darling, and if you need any advice re the ivf cycle just give me a post or pm, xx


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

ClaireScott - Thanks hun everyone here is soo bloomin' wonderfull and welcoming


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## dinkydott (Feb 18, 2011)

hi girls,

happy hippo, just wanted to let you no, i have decied to start on my next af  .....cant wait any longer, and clinic say its all good, have you heard any more on when you are starting?
iv got to call clinic on my af which is now 27th xx

happy xmas to all you lovely ladys, and i wish you all the best in 2012, bring it on


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## Shellebell (Dec 31, 2004)

waiting for next cycle chatter
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=278243.0


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