# New to this Board.



## *kateag* (Jun 20, 2006)

Hi, Im not new to ff but I havent been on this board, not quite sure why, but Im hoping someone will be able to help me. 

A bit of our history might help though!
Im Kate, 25 married to Tom who is 30 and we have a 4 year old daughter concieved naturally. We have been trying for a second baby since 2004, and sadly had a m/c last year. After various tests (mainly on dh) they have come back and said we have male factor, but no one can tell us why or how (our daughter was concieved after 4 months) 

We were doing egg sharing at Lister hospital but unfortunatly our cycle had to be abandoned due to poor response, and I have now been told that I also have pco/s (waiting to have my appointment on monday to see which) 

Anyway, my two main questions are, has anyone else had a baby quite easily, then found out that the sperm levels have dropped so quickly? Dh has high abnormalities and low count. 

And how do you explain to your child why they dont have a brother or sister like so many of their friends? My daughter has now started to notice that all but 1 or 2 of her friends have siblings, and she keeps asking me for one. Whenever she has the chance to make a wish (she wants to be a fairy  ) she wishes for a sister. I have tried to say that we are happy just us 3 and maybe one day we will have another baby, but its perfect like this, but she must be picking up on everything. She has been to a few appointments with us, and we tried to make it as fun as possible, but I cant bear her asking me for something i just cant give her.  
She knew we were pregnant before and we had to tell her the baby had gone to heaven to be an angel, but that is quite hard for a then 2 year old to understand.

Sorry for waffling so much, I hope this makes sense!

Thank you for reading. 
xxxx


----------



## *kateag* (Jun 20, 2006)

Anyone??


----------



## kelway (Dec 9, 2006)

hi kateag, so sorry to read your mesg, made me miserable as i was reading about myself too! some similarities there in as much i too have a four year old daughter whom i love to pieces, she is my world. been trying unsuccessfully for a second for nearly two years, nothing, not even a sniff of pregnancy although my lack of fertility is different to yours - i am an oldie (42 in a couple of weeks) and assume my eggs are pretty few and far between and not good inquality (had a blood test which proves this), rotten ain't it! my daughter too has this AWFUL habit of fauning over other peoples babies - when i collect her from nursery (this i absolutely DREAD) , all the other mothers are either pg or pushing a buggy, i know i look like this sad 'only child' mother, i guess some mums only want one but i think my face proves otherwise - i have found a way round this, instead of standing with all the other mothers waiting to collect her, i have timed it so that i get there when they have all gone in!! this is because i would often get home in floods of tears. myrtle (my dd) loves babies and she knows i long for one, she is so gentle and sociable, she would love a sibling but what can i do, it wasn't career that delayed motherhood for me, more financial really, my dh was a struggling musician blah blah and to cut a long and boring story we weren't ready to try until i was 37, i too got pg quickly. no advice i am afraid about sperm problems although surely something medical can help him? you are so young and he is too, do you think that acupuncture may be able to help him? i am having it myself, have been for about one month and prey that it helps me, if it can help out of date eggs then possibly it can help with sperm problems too? people don't understand how when you have one lovely child how you can long for another, hard to even try to explain, a day doesn't go by by my knowing how blessed i am to have mert but that doesn't stop me longing for another. we (you and i) are both so lucky to have one, neither of us should give up!! all the best
jo


----------



## *kateag* (Jun 20, 2006)

Thanks for the message Jo. I really hope you get your bfp very soon.

Looking forward to getting to know everyone. 
xxxxxxxxx


----------

