# 4th failed ivf how do I move on from this?



## Cma700 (Nov 12, 2012)

Feeling really low after a horrible week. No one understands and even my husband is dealing with it and moved on. 
I'm not sure how I can move on from this and truly fed up of picking myself up and dusting myself down after each failure over the past 6 years. I'm fed up of people saying by kind to yourself, treat yourself, enjoy spending time with your husband, go on lots of holidays, plan things to look forward to. We have done all of these after each cycle and I just want to be like everyone else and have a child. I  am constantly putting on a brace face so everyone thinks I'm strong, which I have had enough of been. I have spoke to the clinic counsellor twice this week and after the ectopic and I know I need to come to terms with it. 

We had said that we were going to stop after this one it's so much emotionally and financially . I also suffer from health anxiety so had enough of constant medical treatment. But don't want to give up on my dream and love children and want to be a mum. 

My 4th ivf failed this week, 20 eggs collected and 18 were mature and 16 fertilised - all good numbers. Embryologist phoned on day 2 to say she was concerned on how they were developing as they were not developing at the normal rate. On day 3 they were 2 and 3 cells and they said they would see how they would be on day 5. I couldn't speak to the embryologist so my husband did and no transfer was made none had made any development. How can it go from 16 to zero they did say this was highly unusual and could be linked to poor egg quality although no one has mentioned this before. This was a new clinic and double the price of the previous so feel like I made a huge mistake. 

Feel so isolated, how do I move on without the usual advice xxxx


----------



## miamiamo (Aug 9, 2015)

I didn't want tor read and run. I am sorry I can't be of much help to you. Just wanted to say I am really sorry, and wish your dreams come true. xx


----------



## Jelly_99 (Sep 25, 2012)

Cma, so sorry to hear you are feeling like this, I promise you are not alone and will find many in similar situations here. I am not a psychologist, but what I hear from your story is that you dust yourself off, move on, keep strong and all of that. In my experience in life I'm not sure that is always the right answer. Sure that has to be done eventually. But sometimes you have to allow yourself to grieve , allow yourself to be angry and upset. Maybe find a safe space where you can do that and tell the rest of the world to get lost for a bit. Big hugs. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## kayza27 (Feb 13, 2017)

I've had 3 failed! My last one with donor eggs ended in none fertikosong due to OH sperm! Eventhough they said his stuff looked fine in all the tests!! They said to me that they don't know what went wrong, happens in less than 4% of cases! Like that made me feel any better!! 

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk


----------



## kayza27 (Feb 13, 2017)

# none fertilizing 

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk


----------

