# Never stood a chance , IVF?? 2012 what will you bring..



## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Final IUI = Epic Fail  Clinic called today 9 days into my 21 day 2ww, bloods revealed despite Chlomid and Pregnyl I failed to ovulate, I feel sick sat at work counting the minutes till I can go home for a breif hour before I start my second job. We still have funding for one IVF cycle, really hoping we can transfer to Nottingham due to higher sucess rates but for now another christmas with aching arms and a hole in my heart, as odd as it may sound I love my child so so much even though it seems we may never meet...


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## Mrs Billy (Jun 30, 2010)

Oh Bubble I'm so sorry   and it doesn't sound odd at all, I feel exactly the same


Amanda x


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## Guest (Dec 7, 2011)

Oh Bubble  

I just couldn't read and run   I'm so sorry that your IUI didn't work out for you - this IF stuff is so very, very tough.   It's an awful time of year too, and of course you miss (and long for) your own LO to hold and cherish. That doesn't sound odd at all.  

Thinking of you and   that 2012 will be your year.


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Mrs Billy, we must have crossed, I was just posting on your thread  x


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Jenny- Thank you I never appreciated how hard this would be, or how much I would blame myself for what my husband and me may never share. But 2012 will be a new year and hopefully new hopes and dreams too. I wish you every happiness too, sorry cant see where your journey has taken you already as you have no signature


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## Guest (Dec 7, 2011)

Hi Bubble,  

Our journey has been different to yours (IUI and 4 x IVF, 2 mcs) and there have been many times when I have truly wanted to give up. My age hasn't been on my side and I have felt so guilty for my body 'not working' and for being the reason why my lovely DH doesn't have the family he dreams of.   However, what I have learnt is that it really is NO ONE's fault; it's just awful, sick-making, bad luck that often happens to really lovely people, who long for a baby of their own. I know that probably doesn't help, but sometimes it's helped me to try to focus on being strong and positive for the mum I want to be. That probably sounds a bit mad, but it's helped me to take care of myself and DH, even during the really awful times    Thanks for asking about us - we are (fingers crossed) finally at the end of our journey, as I am 8+ weeks pregnant, but it's taken an age to get here and it's very early days. 

Don't give up.   I really wish that 2012 brings you the LO that you so long for. I will truly be keeping everything crossed for you and will look out for updates. Hope that you get the transfer to Nottingham too.

Jenny xx


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Jenny,  Hearing even so little about your journey is really inspirational. It doesnt sound silly to be strong and positive for the mum you wanted to be (and now will be). It was just the wise words that only FF Ladies can offer . Feeling very emotional today but have been told we CAN have our transfer our referal letter will be drafted in the next couple of day so Feb time should see us starting something new  . 

I cannot say how happy I am for you, wow 8+ weeks that so exciting, hitting 12 weeks will be a real gift for christmas!! if i knew how to do the pom pom icons I would  

Have you had your early scan? magic just magic, it may sound silly but hearing your good news after the struggles you faced has put the biggest smile on my face! If you can be as strong as you have then I can do this too


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## Guest (Dec 8, 2011)

Hi Bubble  

Fantastic news about the transfer to Nottingham    That's made me smile. Now you've got a positive way forward and a fresh start in 2012   Lovely news. 

You're bound to feel emotional - it's all a rollercoaster of emotions and so tough at this time of year.   Our advice: do whatever you need to get by. When we had our last negative cycle, we had a fair bit to  , put on our favourite music, danced and cried - a LOT   We felt pretty rough the next day, but we survived and found the strength to pull together for the next stage. Mad, eh?  

We've had our second scan today and can now see a strong heartbeat and even a bit of movement.   Very exciting, although made us both cry.

I'll be thinking of you, but don't give up dreaming. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you're at the start of the process, not the end. The clomid and IUI is just the beginning of working out what help your body needs.   Hang on in there and I hope you get that precious appointment very soon and that 2012 is your special year   

Big hugs


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Jenny - You made me cry lol   

Please stay in touch I cant wait to hear all about your happy and healthy pregnany to be  

xxxx


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## CeeDeeBee (Sep 19, 2011)

Hi Bubble85,

I am so sad to hear about your latest IUI. I am only just starting out on this cruel journey but had my 1st full cycle IUI BFN this morning  . I don't know why, but I was utterly convinced I was pregnant and the wee stick was just a formality...I was so excited this morning to do it. Awake since 5 waiting to need a wee.

My IUI was medicated so did the injections and then the trigger shot..and also been taking 3 HRT tablets daily and the joyous pessaries. I think because I had 4 mature follies and the clinic almost abandoned the cycle I was convinced 1 would stick...loads of talk of multiples, pah, pointless.

I have told very few people about our treatment, not even my Mum as just can't to bear to upset/worry her. She only has 1 grandchild who she hardly sees as the Mum is a nasty piece of work. Luckily I do have the sis in law from heaven who has been on this journey and has just had a lovely little girl with her 1st IVF. Her story and  yours Jenny, gives me strength but today I am finding it hard to see the next step. I don't like roller coasters at the best of times but the hormone/emotional/huge ticking clock/no money to fund private treatment themed one is the worst. I think the Christmas card that I just received with love from a couple 'and bump' may have to go in the bin...they even know what we're going through, jeez 

Thank heavens for FF and all the amazing women here,

Big hugs and here's to 2012 and hope  
xxx
Cee


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Hey Ceedeebee, 

I really do know how you feel   all I can say is it does get easier, honest.  The first day of a BFN for me is always the worst because its like a mini bereavement, if nothing else its the loss of the little plans and hopes we have built that individual cycle. The only suggestion I can definately recommend is to be very kind to yourself.  
My advice for what its worth : if you want a gigantic calorific cream cake ... have it. If you want a bottle of wine and a cry . . have that, or if like me after a failed tx you need a pick me up, call a friend and arrange a completely IF discussion free drink at the local, its amazing how despite feeling destinctly mardy and unsociable doing just that has helped me at times, I've deffinately always walked away smiling more than I could have believed leaving the house (or my cave as I lovingly refer to it when feeling low).  

It will always be up to you how many people you feel happy to share your journey with (friends family e.t.c.) but I know I'm glad to have the ladies here also  The drugs and emotions always make the good days great but the bad days far harder but you are NOT alone chickadee. 

I too have a few friends with babies or 'bumps' and it can be very hard particuarly after bad news, but it can also be wonderfull and being the crazy funny aunty can a good way to take your mind off things, are you self funded or NHS, the NHS normally cover at least two IUI's, it only needs to happen once. 

Sending you lots of love xxx


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## CeeDeeBee (Sep 19, 2011)

Thanks so much Bubble for your lovely words and advice,

Well 2 days on and I am feeling much better and I have been deeply touched by the thoughtfulness of people I have told..they were the right ones to tell  Flowers and cards..just lovely.
I've thrown some stones in the sea, had a good cry, a good drink and plenty of cuddles. Now i'm going to have a month away from 'trying' and look into some other alternative therapies before I head back to the meds. I'll let the injection bruises and the lovely spot 'beard' i've cultivated fade away and think about other things, and eat chocolate and cakes!

Cheers ma dears and here's to a very Happy 2012,

xx
cee


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