# What to do next..? It is never easy!



## Bright Eyes (Sep 28, 2007)

Hi girls
Just needed to come on here and get it all out of my system!! Need to make decisions around more tx and in a tizz! 

We have now had 13 good grade 1 embryos out back with no luck. No reason for this ir our infertility. it is SOOOO frustrating. We had, what we said, would be our last tx in March and had the worse ever response with a host of immature eggs and only 3 to fertilise. We had wanted to go to blast to see if there was an issue with growing past day 2/3 but we were unable to do this as only had 3 eggs.

Follow up had no answers except age could have kicked in or it was just a " rougue" treatment.

We now have to make some decisions. We do have 3 frosties but once they are gone.... ? 
Do we do another tx, and then use frosties? Do we use frosties and call it a day? Do we use frosties and consider DE ?  

I feel that maybe we need to call a day on using my eggs as not had any luck to date and use the money for a better chance with DE. But DH cannot get on board with DE. He feels that this is getting obessive and one step too far. He says that this is desperation and means that wanting a baby is more important than our relationship and he is fed up of life on hold because of tx. I know that I cannot push him on this one as he has to be 110% sure. I want to at least find out more anout it all but he just shuts off.  

We had planned FET possibly Sept and now he is trying to book flights to Australia for whole of Dec to see his family.I tried to say that if FET worked then going to Aus so early in a pg would not be good idea but he flipped and said that he was not going to miss this chance of going when the liklihood of a BFP was so low....Ugh!  

I have had my FSH and Ovarian reserve redone at the GP to see how things are looking but not had the balls to get the results! Must do it this week..
Anyway, thanks for listening!
Bright Eyes


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## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Dear Brighteyes
Oh sorry to hear your BFN and domestic turbulance!
I think you have to ask yourself is having a baby important to you?
many men dont feel very strongly about having a baby and can take it or leave it, they are happy to go along with things so far, but for them they can get their male practical heads on and say- right enough.......
But women are different- we do have all the nesting instinct hormones and the desire to reproduce can be very strong- if it is important for you to have a baby- DE is not obsessive its a neat way of getting round the old eggs factor!!
Having TX can take over your life- so hes obviously feeling slightly resentful that he maybe missing out on a really lovely trip- but it wont be lovely if you are thinking the whole time about the possibility of the next treatment.
Its a difficult decision- but I dont think DE is too far- its not for everyone- but its a way of boosting your chances from less than 20% to 65% very quickly!!

Good luck hope you come to the right decision,

Karen x


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## Lilo2 (May 10, 2009)

Hi BrightEyes

It is a difficult decision.  

We haven't quite made it yet although I am leaning that way and DE was first suggested to me by a consultant 7 years ago when I was nearly 37.  At the time I was not at all into the idea but now I think the chance of my getting a baby with my own eggs is so low it's almost not worth talking about.  

So I think it's about getting to the stage where you think - what do I actually want?  I have been finding it very hard lately with lots of people falling pg - the warmish weather we had a few weeks ago seemed to bring people out in skimpy clothes and I spotted a number of colleagues pregnant tummies for the first time.  I was feeling very down about that and then I thought - you know what, that could be me!  Only thing is it wouldn't be my baby genetically, but I think I can live with that.

Good luck with your decision.

Lilo

PS It is difficult dealing with partners on this.  It took me a while to pluck up the courage to bring up the subject.  I can't say DH is keen but I think he will do it if that's what it takes.


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