# Finding it hard to cope



## chatterbox100 (Aug 19, 2012)

Hi, 

I don't know were to start with this I just feeling really sad at the moment and I Keep crying at the moment My DH and I have been TTC for over 2 years now and have all our check ups and test and told that the TX we will need is ICSI as my DH as a very low sperm count. We have been on the waiting list and we are due to go at the begining of Oct but told it will be 4-6 after this just feel that this is very disappointing and very missleading. 

I just feel at the moment I really don't feel myself and I am forgetting and losing who I really am. I feel like crying all the time and sometimes need to hide this from my DH. I feel really worn out and sick and cant eat. I am really down and want to get back to just being me. TTC and worrying about ISCI TX is really worrying me as I don't know how everything will work out in my life and have always wanted to have a family. I haven't even started the TX yet and I am like this I just feel as tho its going to get worse and just don't know how I am going t cope.


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## Mandamae (Oct 17, 2007)

Hello Chatterbox100, 


Well I was where you are many moons ago, this is a new door you are opening, I know it's hard to embrace every new door that opens especially at this time. You could try some relaxation and/or meditation. there is loads on Youtube short and long ones, just put your headphones on and let go for a little while. I personally have had 3 failed tx's I am about to embark on my 4th. Yes it's a rollercoaster of emotions but you WILL cope  Don't lose faith so early, so many ladies more now than before i believe get a BFP 1st time         


mandamae


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## pinkpantha (Feb 18, 2012)

Hello ladies,

Chatterbox - its a totally natural feeling what you are describing-I think we all have a sense of "expect the worse" in order to self-preserve or protect ourselves-this feeling is so extremely hard to shed-some days are easier than others. We found out 7 months ago that we needed IVF-only now can I accept I have low ovarian reserve. Its hard for the partners too but I fully understand what you mean about talking to them-mine is positive things will work and can't understand why i feel the way i do..sometimes i feel i should just disappear to give him a chance to have a family with someone else..its like every woman i know who wants a baby has gotten pregnant easily-there are about 8 of them that I can think of-many of them are close friends-they will never know what childlessness is like. In the end I went to see a psychiatrist who has been great as I feel so abnormal in myself because of this..it is like a punishment sometimes..I'm not depressed but this really feels like an illness in a way..but all any of us can do in the end is hope because that, like our dreams, cannot be taken away....don't give up


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## pinkpantha (Feb 18, 2012)

Hello ladies,

Chatterbox - its a totally natural feeling what you are describing-I think we all have a sense of "expect the worse" in order to self-preserve or protect ourselves-this feeling is so extremely hard to shed-some days are easier than others. We found out 7 months ago that we needed IVF-only now can I accept I have low ovarian reserve. Its hard for the partners too but I fully understand what you mean about talking to them-mine is positive things will work and can't understand why i feel the way i do..sometimes i feel i should just disappear to give him a chance to have a family with someone else..its like every woman i know who wants a baby has gotten pregnant easily-there are about 8 of them that I can think of-many of them are close friends-they will never know what childlessness is like. In the end I went to see a psychiatrist who has been great as I feel so abnormal in myself because of this..it is like a punishment sometimes..I'm not depressed but this really feels like an illness in a way..but all any of us can do in the end is hope because that, like our dreams, cannot be taken away....don't give up


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## chatterbox100 (Aug 19, 2012)

Hi Ladies, 

Thank you so so much I haven't had such a good day and coming home to read what you all have replied as made me feel so much better I can only thank you. I will need to take a new view on thing and try and cope with things a lot better. I am going to try yoga and exericse and Little more as that always refreshes my mind. 

Thank you so so much Ladies x


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## Mandamae (Oct 17, 2007)

That's ok Chatterbox that's what we're here for   
Yes yoga is very good, and relaxation techniques/ meditation too. 


mandamae x


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## Mandamae (Oct 17, 2007)

Oh and chatterbox I hear fantastic reviews about wellman vitamins for men. One lady's DH on here had a sperm count of ZERO and after taking wellman for 6 months and waiting for a sperm donor his count was 1 MILLION! They never needed the the donor and they could have icsi with his own sperm and got a BFP ! 


mandamae xx


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