# So apparently our children are 'stolen goods'.....



## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3098468/Blood-chilling-scandal-thousands-babies-stolen-State-TV-agony-aunt-Denise-Robertson-s-spent-years-investigating-says-s-monstrous-injustice-age.html

Once again we're the bad guys. It makes me so angry that this just fuels society's poor view of adopters. But mainly I'm sad. I'm sad as it totally overlooks the awful experiences many of our children have endured. The challenges they have faced and how we as adopters are left to pick up the pieces and heal the damage inflicted my birth families. FURIOUS.

/Links


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

How much time has she spent with adopters or foster carers before writing this I'm guessing none
How much time with children who are adopted or post adoption suppot teams I'm guessing none again.  A very ignorant un researched Piece
Also so glad she can tell instantly if someone is capable of harming a child perhaps we should have herscreen people at birth and then we'd be rid of child abuse / pedophiles all together Thanks to her intuition what rubbish.  Xx


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## KoolKat (Mar 20, 2013)

I think this is daily mail lazy/ bad reporting. She was on Loose women this morning and spoke very well about adoptive parents. And made the point that it's not fair on adoptive parens also if the child has wrongly been removed from a loving home and especially if the child is old enough to know that their parent did nothing wrong. They will tend to seek them out which I imagine can then be heartbreaking for the adoptive parents, child and birth parents. This is obviously a highly emotive subject but it certaintly wasn't against adoption.


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

That's about all the response I can manage....


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Her views seem so Victorian! I understand press have most probably done a wonderful job on making it read much worse than was probably intended but I agree it's these reports that cause damage.  It can cause people to see adoptive parents in a negative light but most of all those poor children who the courts & ss fail due to be frightened of being seen in this way. 

I'm sure that it's possible this may happen but surely it's the minority & if ss are 'cherry picking' there wouldn't be so many adopters on here who have been waiting so long! 

She should follow her book with one full of stories we could give!


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

I totally agree! Sadly we can't and won't as we have to protect our babies, and this is why this is a totally one sided unfair viewpoint. I've calmed down a tiny bit but not much!!


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## Blondie71 (Oct 26, 2011)

I saw her on Loose women too and def didn't get impression she was bashing adoptive parents either, more the family courts that place a deadline of 26 weeks and then the child must be adopted with no chance to be overturned and the social workers not to be able to do their job properly due to the deadline, I believe Denise also said she has raised 4 kids that were not biologically hers successfully so she def wasn't attacking adoptive famillies x


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## Dame Edna (May 17, 2007)

- Denise Robertson on adoptive parents
._..they deserve better than stolen goods. You do not heal the hole in one family by creating a hole in another. 
_
If that's not bashing adoptive parents, I don't know what is  .

And then they wheeled her out to spread her poison on Loose Women .... 

http://www.itv.com/loosewomen/denise-robertson-on-the-secret-lives-of-britains-stolen-children

Someone please pass me a paper bag to breathe into !

/links


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

I get that she's saying it's not us as adoptive parents that have done wrong, but social services, but I find it just undermines the process that our children have been through and what they have endured. I'm so proud I adopted my daughter, I am not shy in telling people if it comes up. But maybe adoptions will become more of a 'dirty little secret' if this is the type of rubbish society is being fed. I'm an adoptive mummy but I also work with children and families. I know the evidence needed to remove a child, it's massive. I have so many children kept with birth parents when really, for that child's safety and well being they should be removed. But the assessment process is huge and so much concrete proof is needed. So I doubt cases are as simple as she's saying. Social services and adopters can't speak up due to confidentiality and safeguarding, so we only hear one side. Yes I bet there are a few horror stories and genuinely my heart goes out to those families, but not in the volumes she's speaking about. My daughter was very lucky and removed at birth. But that's because her older birth siblings suffered horrific abuse and neglect. They are in long term foster care, separated because of the behaviours and abuse they show one another. This is learnt behaviour and what they have seen and been shown. It is not safe they are placed together. They will never be adopted as they now no longer cope in a family environment. They are small due to malnutrition and have feeding issues due to not experiencing normal food. They are in specialist schools as they were not shown the right type of care in those critical early years meaning their brain did not develop as it should. These are life long issues that simply shouldn't have happened. There are reams of reports and assessments. It's very sad chilling reading. But my daughter could grow and read the line 'stolen child' and how will that make her feel. This is obviously a highly emotive subject for us all on these boards and I once again feel adopters have been unfairly portrayed and it's a shallow one sided view. It makes me sad


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## Barbados Girl (Jul 7, 2012)

Totally agree. Also, Denise Robertson; you sensationalist, sloppy, poorly-researched journalist, my son is not "goods", stolen or otherwise.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Excellent point children are people not goods. Whatever Denise views and what is bad reporting the fact is she's let this go to press with her pictures on in which is disgraceful.  Also many direct quotes show very poor understanding such as there are very good reasons why there is often some children placed with birth grandparents and then others not based on emotional capacity to care and other factors.  As mentioned there are very good reasons why siblings are separated I adopted siblings and there are no financial rewards for separating ridiculous comment. If anything the push is to keep together.  The comments about cherry picking children based on looks actually makes me nearly vomitit's so horrendous.  I get stopped in the street because my children are so beautiful people actually can't believe it and want to comment.  I have pictures of them prior to removal they looked awful not a bit beautiful they were bloated pasty poor condition skin and hair.  They gradualbecame beautiful because of the love care nutrition and fresh air I ensure they get daily.  I have watched and battled to build their weak muscles from lack of activity.  Encourage them to eat a healthy variety of healthy food not just sugary junk. Had the dentist tell me they are going to need multiple fillings due to poor diet to now be told their teeth are starting to heal with the excellent diet they now eat. Undoing this physical damage is hard work but not as much as the psychological damage done.  I as with everyone on  this board have made my child beautiful not picked it because it is.  Sorry very emotional subject for me I look at the pictures of my children pre care on really tough days when I feel that the mountain we climb is too much to remind myself how far we've come and how much my children need to be with me and me with them obviously xx


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

And siblings are split up deliberately to make more money too.  

Has she been smoking crack?


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

Seems a reasonable explanation for the drivel she's been spouting!


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Beautifully written, MummyDIY.

The other thing to remember is that often the birth parents have neglected/abused their children BECAUSE of the way the birth grandparents parented them in the first place... the cycle of abuse.... another reason that birth grandparents caring for traumatised children is often not a good idea.


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

Ugh, missed the but about the chikd brung taken away from her 'loving' family to be placed with 'strangers.' And that Denise 'only hopes they were kind.'   


Well yes, because they approve anyone to adopt don't they? I got my boy to send up chimneys personally.


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## Barbados Girl (Jul 7, 2012)

Also, she totally fails to address the well known issue of there being an imbalance in terms of the number of Afro-Caribbean and dual heritage children in care as against the number of adopters from those backgrounds and the well known reluctance of some sws to place outside a child's background. So, if these children are stolen to order why not leave the BME children where they are and concentrate on the blende blue eyed ones? It is like she has listened to every sob story told to her by a birth parent and never once critically analysed it or researched it.  BAAF or AUK should take this dingbat and the Daily Fail to task.


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## MummyPhinie (Oct 27, 2013)

Ok while I'm sat her with MY 3 beautiful 'hard to place' children im both sad and fuming. As its ending half term they are competing too much for my attention to write a well formed reply, so will digest and do later. Everyone knows that newspapers report absolute twaddle and so inaccurately, but reading the comments after just compounded what they were portraying......I'm off to give my traumatised, neglected, abandoned stolen goods (but not from drug, alcohol birth parents because of course it's only those families that abuse/neglect children) massive cuddles and kisses because luckily I AM kind and caring. 
P.s I just am thankful that my daughter thinks that "I am the best mummy in the world and she will love me for ever and ever" ( she is the expert and know as she has had theoretically 3 in her life!)


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## DRocks (Sep 13, 2013)

She has been banging on about "Forced Adoption" for years.





My own birth parents claim "Forced Adoption", I know otherwise!

/Links


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## liveinhope (Jan 8, 2008)

This woman has made me so annoyed. How dare she comment about things she knows nothing about.  I cant say anything else, as the rest of you have summed it up perfectly


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

Totally agree that AUK or BAAF should make a public response. It's still making me angry now, really bloody angry....


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

I've always considered the woman to be an incompetent buffoon. 
Some of the advice she gives is frankly shocking and the kind of advice you might expect from an ignorant nosy old boot down at the local shops. 
This is just the sort of bull I expect from her and the Daily Mail too. 
Haha and the way she claims she could tell from meeting those parents that they would never harm a child, like you pointed out Mummy DIY Diva, maybe she should be employed to screen people, she's clearly gifted  . What an idiot.


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

P.S. Has anyone ever read a CPR or a profile where it isn't absolutely clear why the child / children were removed? I certainly didn't. 
And reporting about the letter she received claiming only the blonde children were removed and the redheads left at home?!?!?!!! That is seriously shoddy / childish reporting. 
She may as well report that she's heard something through a friend of a friend who know someone who said........


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

Just wanted to pop on here and give all you fabulous ladies a hug  

I saw this late last night after an adopter posted it on ******* and hoped it was a nightmare!

I'm not an adopter, but a long time lurker of the threads here (and massive supporter of adoption, and hopefully a future adopter one day!) and can 100% say that this woman is an absolute idiot. I have sadly seen first-hand people who "love" their children having them forcible removed, and it was for a damn good reason and completely warranted. It doesn't help that for a lot of people their understanding of "love" is not what most people with healthy loving relationships call love. I'm a cynic but I think it's all part of of the propaganda machine that supports plans to privatise more sections of Social Services.  

I think the part of it that is the saddest is her comment about children being upset at being removed from their birth families - like that is a sign that it isn't a warranted removal. 

Don't take it to heart ladies (and gents) they will have a story about the cost of IVF to the NHS next week (I think £10,000 per cycle is their fall back figure) - and then they will be suggesting that every couple who can't have birth children should "just" adopt      

Xxx


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## moobags (Nov 13, 2013)

Forced adoption is this woman serious she obviously isn't aware of how hard it is for workers to build a case let alone get a placement order.

It makes my blood boil the way adoption is portrayed in the press they go on about children being stolen and taken away etc and all the so called do gooders stick their two peneth in about how children should be with BP/BF and that adoption is wrong but they are the first ones to jump on the bandwagon when a child had been harmed at the hands of these families.

These parents that sell their stories to press about how hard done by they have been are quite clearly missing out vital pieces of information children don't get taken for no reason but they won't admit that when speaking to reporters.

I agree that there needs to be a review and overhaul of adoption but at the forefront of everything should be the welfare and the safe guarding of vulnerable children.

This woman and all who listen to the drivel she is spouting want to remember that a court had made a decision based on facts to remove these children because they were at risk they put the child's wellbeing and welfare first yes above the parents wants and needs which is first and foremost the right thing to do the parents may have wanted to keep their children I have no doubt but if they don't have the ability to care and safeguard their children then the court in my mind has no option.

It angers me that as adopters we don't have a voice that we have to sit in the shadows because we won't put our children in danger by putting ourselves out there.

When these children are old enough they will read the facts they will know the truth (should the want to) and they can contact their BF if they so wish at which point these BF will have questions to answer


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

.  Words fail me.  Luckily I think you've all covered it


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## kizzi79 (Jan 9, 2009)

It upsets me to think of littlun reading this sort of tripe when he is older and thinking there was not good reason for his removal - bloody daily mail  

Kiz  x


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## Helend75 (Dec 9, 2012)

Good news ladies! The DM is running another adoption & SS-bashing story today: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3101526/Surrogate-asked-baby-loving-couple-helping-chilling-secret.html

Again, a poor decision from ss, baby placed with strangers - yada yada. Only today with added 'although I do feel sad for people who can't have a baby they have to just live with it' comments from DM readers.

Surrogacy wasn't ever a consideration for us, and I don't really want to comment on that aspect, but as has been stated very eloquently by others, children do not find themselves in the system easily. The hoops to jump through are many, often smaller & higher than maybe they once were & adopters aren't 'strangers'. These strangers have had to undergo a massively intrusive assessment process & to prove themselves more than good enough.

/Links


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## Lorella (Jan 10, 2013)

Exactly what I was thinking Kiz. Makes me feel sad. 

Stupid woman. 

Xxx


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

I have two purposes here.  Firstly, this is complete cr&p and I want to dispute it as widely as possible.  Secondly, I would like to add other adopters and prospective adopters to my friends list.  I have something I would like to share which is going on ******** and I would be very grateful if all the adopters I know would share it with their friends and families, and to that end if you would like to drop me a message I will give you my details to add on ********, or add me to the ******** group again.  Either would be appreciated.

P.S. It made me angry, and I have had a glass of wine tonight, not a good combination!


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## DRocks (Sep 13, 2013)

I will send you the ******** link, if anyone else wants it just send me a message


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## moobags (Nov 13, 2013)

I would be interested in the ******** link x


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Daily fail on another 'forced adoption' story today...

Headlines child put up for adoption because his parents smoked in the house...come on!!!


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

littlepoppy86 said:


> Daily fail on another 'forced adoption' story today...
> 
> Headlines child put up for adoption because his parents smoked in the house...come on!!!


Yep, except when you read it seems like they were also crackheads who lived in a hovel...


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Absolutely Katie...headlines saying 'boy rremoved from parents because dad leaving drug paraphernalia' sounds pretty boring compared to removed because of smoking!!


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## Helend75 (Dec 9, 2012)

Many of the newspapers have carried the headline 'removed due to smoking' - or variations thereof - which is really irresponsible reporting (although personally I loath smoking & would find it reason enough!!!). I did come across the court report over the weekend should anyone be interested in reading it: 
http://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWFC/OJ/2015/B58.html

It first came to my attention (today) via ** newsfeed as I used to live in Hull & the case was heard there & appeared in the local press - which I've 'liked'. 
In fairness, the majority of comments were wholly supportive (many parents holding their hands up to being smokers - but doing so outside the house & finding smoking in front of children to be 'disgusting'), a large number suspected that smoking parents was just a tiny piece of information of what was undoubtedly a bigger story & some commenters said that the story left out the details of drug paraphernalia etc that some of the Nationals carried. Only one numpty tried to claim that smoking is a risk-free activity made up by scientists...
When the SWs are reporting how much more difficult it now is to get orders for children, the headline certainly implies that the exact opposite is true.

/Links


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## Helend75 (Dec 9, 2012)

I've just seen a preview of some of tomorrow's newspapers. The 'Heartbroken couple lose son as house is too stinky' story is on the front of the Mirror (& not dissimilar headlines on the front pages of the Times & the Telegraph).
So sensationalist. What happened to balance - the other details just seem to be getting buried in this story.


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