# Is it me



## bell (May 17, 2005)

Hi Ladies

Hope you are all well,l am having a bad day today and l am not sure if its only me, Well as you all no its mothers day very very soon and to be honest with my mother not wanting to no me at all since not being able to give her a grandchild she has not been in contact since l lost my angel dec 2006, well no thats a lie l went to a friends funeral and my sister and mother was there, i walked into a pub where they was holding the wake and stood next to them and my mother said to my sister is that your friend from collage, my sister replied no don't no her. i was completely shocked that my own mother and sister did not know me,all my friend stood looking at me, l just walked away not the correct time or place to start,

Anyway my problem is l hate this day it really brings home to me what i am never going to be, it really hurts my heart, l get very jealous of all mothers that are lucky to be able to enjoy this day, l have put the tele on this morning and again its in my face, l went for something to eat last night KFC and on the menu is " moms night off ", l know there are some very very good mothers out in the world but to me it just makes me cry and get angry, l am so sorry if i sound horrid l don't mean to but l cant help it. l hate this day as l know where ever i go its going to follow me round,

Sorry ladies l am moaning,

Bell xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Natalie01 (Jun 10, 2007)

Hi,

I just read your message and it really struck accord with me.  You raise a really important point that infertility doesnt just affect the couple concerned, but the ripples affect family as well.  I am just the same as you,  I am the eldest of three girls (my sisters being born without TS).  I am pretty estranged from my folks as they treat me so differently i.e.my parents live in Cape Town with my youngest sister.  My middle sister is paid for to go at least twice a year..whilst I havent been to see them in two years!!!!!!  My DH and myself sweated blood to put me through drama school for a year, when I contacted my folks to let them know that I had been accepted they didnt even want to know (not that I was trying to get any financial support out of them).

As families can suddenly turn on you like this, this has made me very cautious about telling my in-laws. My MiL has been more of a mum to me than my own mother, I wonder if this would stop if I told her?

Luckily, I am quite thick-skinned to Mother's Day (well, I've had 11yrs of knowing it'll never be me), but you are right...motherhood is thrust upon us at every turn, even at the culinary depths of KFC!!!  We came up with the idea of Mother's Day being almost a Special Wife Day, so I get flowers from DH so I know I'm loved.  We do the same DH for Father's Day.  Just a thought, but it focusses on the positive rather than the negative.

Nat x


----------



## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Sorry it's upsetting you Bell. And it's not just you - I get sick of it sometimes too. But even before I had all my IF troubles I always cast a cynical eye over the whole thing - it always seems like just another marketing 'event' designed to make you fork out on a card or flowers etc. Have you seen the latest advert on TV - buy your mum a playstation for mother's day. What the??!! It is especially ludicrous since most people are not religious, so it doesn't even tie in with that either. If I want to send my mum a card I'll do it - but not because advertising execs tell me I should!
But I know for you it is even worse cos you don't get along with your mum - and I'm sorry Bell. It is her loss though, remember that.
Bernie xxx


----------



## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Oh Bell- it isnt just you honey!!!. The last iui i did and tested negative for was over Mother's Day which really devastated me. I never look forward to it,it's up there with Christmas maybe worse and i just like to get it over and done with.I have been in very bad form and although I have a cold I think it is also to do with this day aproaching.

I get on pretty well with my mum but we have had our moments over my sadness with tx etc. She told me over a year ago that she didnt understand why we werent doing any more treatment and if we had made that decision then I couldnt be sad about it for ever! I was furious with her and explained that we had been thru this all of our marriage and it was either save it with no more tx or fall apart with tx.Although she lost my brother at 22 it is different in some ways. I am not looking forward to when my sisters are celebrating Mother's day in years to come either as i know i will be expected to be happy for them despite my sadness.

You are not alone in this. Take care xxxx


----------



## VT (Aug 5, 2005)

Hey Bell

It most definitely isn't just you. It feels like a smack in the face for me too.

I will be spending the day at home with my DH, avoiding all the marketing people's nonsense and thank goodness it will all be done with by monday.

Take care, honey.

Love 

VT
xx


----------



## bell (May 17, 2005)

Hi Ladies

Thankyou very much for your replies but l do let it get to me and it makes me sad and angry, l think i am at that stage where everything to do with children and mothers is just getting to me,l have read just a few of my messages on this board that l have asked for your comments on and have just read how much l am moaning and letting things get to me, you probably wont beleive me when i say l was the most madddest person you ever met 7 years ago before starting treatment and l have now noticed how much l moan l never did this i just made people laugh and have so much fun never really bothered about anything just enjoy life,now l find that l am a miserable " cow ", sorry ladies 

dh said that l need to stop worrying about what people think and enjoy what we do have each other and we are still happy, he said he would like the " mad cow " back, so l am going to try and stop moaning and not be so jealous of the other that have children, to be honest l dont think its mothers day its just something to have a go at " jealous " that will pass,

sorry to moan 

Bell xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mini munch (Oct 15, 2005)

sorry you feel that way, im new to this sight and believe me your not the only one who feels this way, i hate mothers day its a good smack in the face, no one in my family seems to understand they just think that i should get on with my life, but hopfully we can try and help each other

take care mini munch xx


----------

