# How to let go?



## wishingforanangel (Feb 6, 2009)

Trying hard not to burst into tears as I thought...Let's just say I thought I be a parent and no such luck. I'm going to be 41 in a few weeks and I still hope that I will have a chance at being a parent but without the funds to pay for surrogacy here in the States or to adopt...I know my chances of being a parent is non existent. I no longer have the heart for all the drama of trying to have a child but I'm finding hard to let go. 

I am trying to let go but no success and I'm trying not to feel isolated and lost.

People suggested I volunteer with an organization that works with children but so far it feels that these organizations want an employee who works for free...i.e. volunteer application, fingerprints, and they can still tell you that they don't want you, time commitments, etc. Sigh...

How has anyone let go of their dreams and be okay?? Any help would be appreciated....


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## tribble (May 11, 2010)

hi, wishing foran angel

yeah, that's me!
It'll be hard for you if you haven't let go yet. I decided before, that if it didn't work 3 times, that would be it and I would not keep putting more and more fake drugs into my body. We didn't want to do adopting or anything else like that, my hub already has a dauhter who is great. 
You must give yourself some time. I am saying today yeah I am OK, and I have let go of it, but this is a year and a half on. It takes some people longer, my counsellor said 2 years. 
After my second icsi failed I was on the computer the same day looking at volunteering in developing country using my skills, working with disability. Who knows, I may well do this some day but I was looking for an escape from the pain, as well as trying to tell myself, hey, you can do all this other stuff now how great! Have found more of a balance now. 
You will go on and let go of this, it will still be painful but the new reality will become part of life for you and you can move through it.
A good book for me was 'Never to be a Mother' which you can get through amazon etc., 
So work out things that will help you like volunterring but try not to rush into anything, keep occupied but go easy on yourself otherwise the pain is just going to be suppressed and fester.
Look after yourself, take care
tribble x


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