# miscarriage :(



## jennyes2011 (Jun 9, 2011)

Hello,
Just need a little support as have just experienced a miscarraige at 5w2d  This was my 7th transfer and my 2nd bfp. Our 4th transfer resulted in our DD. Heartbroken is the only way to describe it. I thought I was just getting used to the negative cycle thing but this is something else  I think from now on I will never enjoy getting a bfp in quite the same way and I will always be worried about this happening again. My husband has not reacted well and is taking it out on me by trying to find a reason and ending up blaming me, saying it is down to 'stress' or I must have missed medication as I was sometimes forgetful in taking my metformin and vits at the same time each day but I never missed them  so I'm dealing with that too. Anyway, got to move on and keep on going but its taking it day by day at the moment  xxx


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## CrazyHorse (May 8, 2014)

Big hugs to you.    Being late with metformin or vitamins certainly would never cause a miscarriage. Nearly always there is no reason that is within your control.

Would your husband consider counseling? I'm sure he is hurting too, but it is absolutely not right for him to handle it by blaming you.

I think all of us who have had a miscarriage experience that worry you are talking about in future pregnancies.  It's very hard -- please be kind to yourself and take it easy if you can.


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## xZoeSx (Jun 30, 2014)

Hi Jenny,

I know how you feel, I recently had a MC at 5w1d and my hubby reacted very much in the same way. He has since calmed down but he even went as far as to say that I walk too heavy on my heels!!! He was hurting and didn't know how to deal. I started bleeding on my OTD and BFP, so I just knew something wasn't right. 

I very much want to focus on our next cycle and how we can increase our chances. I will 100% take off at least a week after transfer. I went back to work the next day on my cycle and don't feel it was good for me, my work is quite stressful at the minute so although it took my mind of everything, it just wasn't worth it.

Hope we can both have successful next cycles and follow each others journeys.

x Zoe


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## ClaireDa (May 26, 2015)

I'm so sorry about your miscarriage, I'm in a similar boat been having ovulation induction over the last 2 years, near 5 years trying. Last may had a miscarriage and this may had an ectopic pregnancy which resulted in one of my tubes being removed. Am so sad and don't know the way forward but dont want it to ruin things. My DH is ok but its hard, I have decided to go for counselling think it may help. Sometimes it can help a man too. Sorry again


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## Ljp64 (Nov 23, 2013)

Hi Jenny,
I had two miscarriages from my cycle last year. I know that everyone is different but I can say that a year on I do feel better than I did. It was totally devastating and I thought id never feel better. My DP didn't get it, he didn't blsme me but he was very matter of fact about the whole thing, reminding me that there was something wrong with the babies and my body knew that. 
I found the review at the clinic painful but cathartic. The nurses at the early pregnancy unit persuaded me to have counselling though and although I only had one session it made a big difference. It was good to have someone tell me it was normal to feel bad and to remind me that many women feel like I did. Your clinic should offer free counselling. 

A year  on I'm about to start DE IVF and Im optimistic.mi hope things work out for you, 
Lisa x


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## jennyes2011 (Jun 9, 2011)

CrazyHorse: Thank you for your support x I have put all of my energy and thoughts into my current cycle and although it has turned out to be a BFN it has helped me 'get over' the heart break, to a point! My husband is OK now too. I hope everything is going OK with yourself x

Zoe - Sorry to hear about your miscarriage there is nothing worse   it is strangely nice to discover that there are other husbands out there that react in the same way as mine! It is awful - but I do understand it is just his way of dealing with the pain and stress. But its so hard to hear it and made me so angry! How are things going now? Have you done another cycle since? We have just completed a second frozen cycle and got a BFN today  argh it never ends! We've decided already if this one didn't work, we would do a fresh cycle despite having 5 more blastos on ice. I'm 35 now and we want to get as many embryos as possible now while I'm still relatively 'young'. So we have to wait 3 months to prepare for our hopefully final fresh cycle.

ClaireDa - oh that sounds awful  sorry that you have had to go through all that  . I hope you are both finding the strength to keep going on your journey and that the councilling has helped?

Lisa - 2 miscarraiges must have been very difficult for you  what a nightmare!  Glad you feel better now though. How has your DE IVF gone?


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