# family sending kid pics - alright to say stop?



## sophiekh (Mar 12, 2014)

Is it ok to tell family not to keep sending pics of their kids ...when they don't text you normally?


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

actually no. since it's not the kids fault, and presumeably they send them so that you and the child have some kind of relationship. families matter or we wouldn't all be in this forum trying to have them. so that one i think you have to tolerate.


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## Dame Edna (May 17, 2007)

Hi Sophie  

Unless I  was absolutely sure that someone was interested in my son I would never text them photos of him, and certainly not to someone who's trying to conceive!!  What planet are they on?!

As for asking them to stop sending the photos .... not sure I'd have the guts to say that!  However, I definately wouldnt reply.  It's not like they've asked about you or shown any interest in what's important for you right now.  

Enjoy pressing the 'delete' button  

X


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## bombsh3ll (Apr 19, 2012)

I agree, there's no benefit to the kids in the pics having them sent to you, it's just an unnecessary source of hurt. Whilst there's probably no polite way of asking the parents to stop without causing offense, it is ok to just quietly delete them without looking. 

It doesn't make you any worse of an auntie.

B xxx


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## Teeinparis (Sep 15, 2013)

If friends you can say something- bull**** excuse about data etc.  but direct family suck it up buttercup if you ever want them to be interested in your child.


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

Sorry you are struggling honey  

Personally I don't see anything wrong in asking people not to send pictures of children to you. It seems the world is obsessed with pictures theses days, and of sharing those pictures. Our friends sent us a scan picture and it really upset me as unbeknownst to them I received it when in the hospital having a mc. Afterwards I asked them if they would have sent a picture of their giant chocolate birthday cake to their friend who had a gastric bypass due to weight issues. They said "no of course not, that would be really insensitive!" Funnily enough they didn't make the connection  

I can understand that they might send you a picture of the first walk, wearing a t-shirt you brought them, first day at school, but general "I have chocolate on my face" pictures are pretty irrelevant.  

Wether or not they send, or you receive, photos has no baring on your relationship with the child - the child doesn't know and doesn't care. I have a fab relationship with my godchildren, see them regular and have photo on my wall, but their mum is sensitive enough to know that text photos aren't useful. She give me photos in frames and shows them me ones when I visit, but she was so upset for me when she found out what happened with our other friends scan picture that I didn't even have to ask her.

Look after yourself and if you want to ask them to stop I think that if they are decent people they will completely understand xxx


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi,

What family member is it that is sending them to you?  I personally exchange pictures by text to my Mum or sister, but no one else.

Sadly my sister is infertile and now divorced, but she actually dotes on my two boys and loves doing stuff with them.  She even took my eldest abroad for 5 days.



X


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## sophiekh (Mar 12, 2014)

I guess you are right i should just suck it up, i guess I would it would be nice if they bothered asking me how i am, if i coping, etc.


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi,

I don't think you should just suck it up.  Speak up!  If it is a close family member then tell them how you feel.

Your feelings do matter.


X


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## sophiekh (Mar 12, 2014)

I think they would be offended and it would turn into a mess. as its my sisters I cant really say much as there know how hard my infertility was.


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi,

Sorry to hear that.  

X


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## Teeinparis (Sep 15, 2013)

I find no one understands once they have a child - even if they had miscarriages they don't get it.  

It must be super hard without your DH.


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## sophiekh (Mar 12, 2014)

thanks for the comments ladies. I think sometimes I fee l like a horrible person for feeling this way.  I love y nieces and nephews, I really do. Sometimes it is hard to remain strong all the time, I get it. They are happy with their families and all the milestones and achievements of the children they want to share.

I think social media has made it harder. Everything is posted from first scans to labour room pics. 

It is hard without my husband, extremely hard. I am trying get over grieving for both losses. 

I think it will take a bit longer than I thought to be really strong and not be over sensitive. Although Ive always been sensitive before I started ttc.


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## swanlake (Nov 7, 2012)

Sophiek 

Pleas don't feel you have to worry about saying your thoughts and feelings as this is a place you can feel safe to express these negative feelings that we all have had/have in a place that we hope they can be received and heard and listened to and understood. 

It's so so hard and people who haven't been through this on the whole just don't get it- and that might be fine and there's no reason why the should really- but it doesn't take away our hurt and sadness which you are entitled to feel - and I don't think you should have to suck anything up - these are your feelings and they are hard for you and it doesn't make you any less of a good Aunty - 

We are all sensitive when it comes to something we feel so sensitive too- better I think to be this way then some people who may get defensive and angry - try and keep upbeat and keep your eye on your goal and be kind to yourself- you don't need to be hard on yourself with us ladies here as we can all understand in some way- if not exactly - what you are going through and feeling 

Lots of love 

Xxx


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## Blueestone (Feb 28, 2015)

Hi

Indont know if this will help but my family use an app called life cake - u upload the photos to that and invite people to be able to see them so very private. Then u get an email to say new pic etc.... Then u can choose to look or not - might be a way to "save them time and money" and it creates a photo album type thing so that parents etc can look back years... Try n persuade them to start one of these then u won't get bombarded with photos and u can choose to look or not?
Blue


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