# Adoption virgins



## Spaykay

[info] Hi Ladies and Gents

Please take note of the following info (Posts will be edited by a mod/admin if it is felt needed)
Fertility Friends is a public site and can be accessed by anyone. We would like to remind you that all posts 'must' be discreet when it comes to discussing what is involved in the process, particularly the home study part.
[/info]

Kay (Spaykay) Adoption (Spain)- started process Jan 08 to adopt internationally

Daisy (Daisyboo) Adoption-started process Jan 08- Prep course March 08

Katherine (KTP71) Adoption- Prep course Feb 08

Boomy- Adoption (New Zealand) - started process Jan 08 waiting for adoption seminars

Daisy (Daisydip)- Adoption- initial call to LA Feb 08

Camly-Adoption-started process Aug 07-prep dec 07- awaiting medical Fab 08

Loch Ness- Adoption-started process Feb 08-prep course July 08

Cheshire cheese - Adoption- Prep Course Jan 08

Tarango -Adoption-started process Nov 07-Prep April 08

Jo (Jo_Robinson) - Fostering- initial enquiries Feb 08



Hi there

I just thought I'd start a little thread for all the peeps who are just starting out. It seems a few of us our just doing the prep course and getting paper work together.

My DH and I have been ttc for 5 years after a natural miscarriage and have found that my eggs, his sperm and my lining are pretty much no good, so we are very happy to now have decided to adopt. As we live in Spain (DH is Spanish), we will be adopting from abroad (adoption in Spain is closed at the moment due to a current huge waiting list!). I've had the prep course and am awaiting getting all the paperwork done and handed in. Our wait for our baby/child should be about 3 years in total.

How are you all?

Kay xxx


----------



## daisyboo

Hellooooooooooooooo may i join in to?

Us well been together nearly 15 years decided ttc when we married nearly 5 years 2 failed ICSI TX due to DH poor sperm,
Decided on this route as we want a family, it was a long and hard descion to get to this point but to be honest i am so releived as i couldn't look to the future only day by day but now we have made the descion to  adopt i see my future i see an ending to this black hole we were stuck in, it feels right and i know eventually we will be a family,

Well filled out first set of forms, Have a nice if somewhat forgetfull SW  and prep starts on monday      
Can't wait to get to know you all,
Love Daisy


----------



## Spaykay

Hi Daisy! 

Please do join ir it's just me!   Hope we get some more in here, I'm so excited I just want to talk, talk, talk!  

Kay xxx


----------



## KTP71

Hi Daisy and Spaykay, well we have just had our first day of the prep course- I must admit I was nervous about what to expect but both of us really enjoyed it and met up with some really nice people.  Cant wait for next week now.

Bit of background on me- we have been ttc for 6 years- gone through 6 ICSI cycles - 3 bio chemicals and 3 negatives- discovered last year that we had immune problems as previously we had been classified as unexplained.  We had 2 full cycles with the extra immune drugs and in the end felt enough was enough and that being a family was more important than me being pregnant.  I feel quite lucky though as we made our initial enquiries with the LA back in August and have been lucky to get on the Feb course as a few couples had been waiting for 15 or 16 months to get to this point!!

Will be good to chat to others at the same stage.

Katherine


----------



## daisyboo

Thought you might be sat on your Patio with a nice G&T, (oh the thought) instead i'm tucked up in the spare room (hopefully to be turned into Kiddies Bedroom    )
with my Bag puss Pyjamas and cow slippers


----------



## daisyboo

Hello Katherine,
Welcome to the thread it's all so exciting isn't it, i'm glad your first day went well hopefully i will be saying that next week , when we had the first visit from SW on a Tue she said there was a prep course starting on the Friday and felt it would be to much of a rush for us  i thought we would be waiting months) but luckly we didn't it's further away than we thought about 4o min in car but it'll be worth it,


PS blown you some bubbles to say Hi xxxx


----------



## Boomy

Hi Kay, Daisy, and Katherine,

I'd like to join you guys too if that's ok.  I had been posting on the adoption journey thread but it was hard to keep up with everyone, so to be honest I wasn't posting very often.  It will be nice to have a group just starting out.  

We live in NZ.  If you want to read how I finally got to this point in our quest for children, please read my biography in my profile.  

We were supposed to go to an adoption introductions seminar tonight where we meet other couples starting the journey.  Then we had 2 seminars booked in for March and April.  These have all now been cancelled and we now have to wait another couple of months before any more are planned.     More waiting... 

Kay - thanks for starting this thread.    What's the weather like in Spain?  

Daisy - It feels great to put IVF behind you doesn't it?  I was getting so consumed in it all.  Good luck with your prep course on Monday.  

Katherine - How many prep courses do you have to attend?  Do they go all day?  In NZ, we have a 2 hour intro evening, followed by 2 full day seminars (3 if you are wanting to adopt abroad).  Pleased to hear you enjoyed it.  

Love Boomy xx


----------



## Daisydip

Please can I join too - I'm very new having only made my initial enquiry with my LA today!  How long has it taken you guys to get where u r now after making the initial enquiry.

Boomy - I have just read your biography - you have certainly been through one hell of a journey to get where u r today!  My journey seems quite painless compared to yours. 

Me and Dh have been together for 7 years and married for 4 1/2 - were diagnosed with unexplained infertility at beginning of last year after 3 years of ttc.  We have completed one full cycle of IUI with a BFN and had our second cycle cancelled on day 10 due to me bleeding heavily.  
Although this happened fairly recently we have decide that we don't want to go through the emotional turmoil of anymore tx (although we r still entitled to 2 more IUI cycles and one IVF on NHS).  I have thought long and hard about it and have always thought that adoption is a a great thing to do - if I had a big house I would love to foster but unfortunatley DH wouldn't feel happy fostering.
Yes I might look back and wonder 'what if' but I want to look at it as a chosen path - I've chosen many different paths over the years and never looked back with regret and I hope I don't this time.

Anyway enough about me - I can't wait to go through the process with you all- although mine may not actually begin properly for a while

GOOD LUCK YOU GUYSXX


----------



## Boomy

Hi Daisydip - (2 Daisy's is gonna get confusing   )    

Welcome to our little group.      I've blown you some bubbles for luck.  

I'm probably around the same stage as you, as all our courses have been cancelled at this stage, so I am just waiting until they can organise some more.  It's all a waiting game isn't it?  

I would love to foster children too, but my DH is not as keen.  He wanted to adopt a child from his own extended family originally, so going through an adoption agency is a big step for him.     I just want a houseful of yelling, screaming, playful kids.      Christmas last year was so sad and quiet around here.  

Anyway just wanted to say hi... better carry on.  Chat soon.

Love Boomy xx


----------



## NuttyJo

Hi

Im not sure if I can join this thread here or not as at the moment we're looking into fostering before adoption...   We have our first SW visit this Friday and am pooping my pants to say the least!   

Anyway, I am 25, dh is 27 and we have been married almost 5yrs - been ttc for about the same amount of time. We felt that although having a baby of our own would be nice we cannot put ourselves through anymore heartbreaking treatments and so we are happily looking to adopt in the future; it is a family we want more than anything, not just a pregnancy. I hadnt considered fostering until DH mentioned it and we feel that this will give us invaluable experience for when we adopt our own child   

Lots of luck to all of you waiting for courses and sw visits etc

Love jo xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Oooooo goody - there's lots of us now! Jo - of course it's alright for you to join us, I set it up so that we can all help each other out and show come luuurrrrrv somewhere where there's not soooo many people we all forget who everyone is!  

I'll ask Suzie to do us a list so we can recall everything (hope she won't mind)

Hi - Boomy - I guess you and I will have a different adoption journey as we live away from Britain (are you from NZ or just living there?) How annoying your meetings got cancelled  

Hi  - Katherine - nice to meet you and glad you've joined us  

Hi - Daisydip - how are you? Good to meet you too!  

daisyboo - you must be exhausted from all that bubble blowing!  

Kay xxx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Hi Ladies



Spaykay said:


> I'll ask Suzie to do us a list so we can recall everything (hope she won't mind)


Let me know what you want on the list and i am happy to put it together.

xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Oooooo Thanks MJ...couldn't see who the moderators were at the top! Will pm you!

Kay xxx


----------



## NuttyJo

​
to all my new friends! hope we can support each other through this process and provide information for others starting out too 

love jo x


----------



## Spaykay

Love the pic Jo. M J is going to put a list up for us with names and where we're at in process to help us keep up!  

Kay xxx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hi ladies

List added to Spaykay's post at the top of thread

Please shout if you want anything changing to your details

xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Thank yo uso much for that MJ!

Kay xxx

GOOD NIGHT!


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Spaykay said:


> Thank yo uso much for that MJ!
> 
> Kay xxx
> 
> GOOD NIGHT!


Your welcome- night night hun

x


----------



## Boomy

Jo - hi hunny... welcome to the group.  Good luck for your SW visit.   

Kay - I'm a born and bred Kiwi.    My DH is a maori.  It will be interesting to see how different countries do things.  

MJ - Thanks for looking after us chick.   

Well we have some dates again.  Got a letter this morning from the adoption agency saying seminars are back on and we have really only been put back by about a month.      The introduction seminar is now being held on the 13th March but as my DH has just taken 2 days off for the cancelled one he didn't think he would be able to get more time off for that one.  I have spoken to the SW and she said they would do a home visit and then we can move on to the full day seminars which are being held at the end of April and end of May.  So we are really happy.    

I should point out that my DH is a truck driver and away from home a lot.  He travels up to Auckland one day and travels back the following day.  So when most people would be able to take one day off to attend a seminar, he would need 2.  A real pain in the  .  But at least the adoption agency have been kind enough to do home visits, although it wasn't our fault that the original seminars got cancelled.  

Hope you are all well,
Love Boomy xx


----------



## NuttyJo

thats fab news about the seminars boomy, bit of a pain in the bum though being cancelled in the first place but least you can feel like you're getting somewhere now!  

thanks m j for doing the lists  

hope we're all doing ok today  

well its only a quick visit here from me as im trying to make the house look presentable! think im worrying too much but i want to make a good impression  

love jo x


----------



## Daisydip

Hi Jo - how did your SW visit go today? I hope it wasn't too daunting - it must be so exciting to get the whole process started.

As I said before I only phoned my LA on Wednesday but was really hoping the info would have arrived today - never mind perhaps tomorrow - I so want to get started.  I'm so excited and want to tell everyone, but I really feel that I should tell my Mum first - hopefully  get the opportunity to do that in the next few days.

Boomey - i'm glad to hear that your seminars are back on

Daisy boo - good luck with your SW visit on Tuesday

kay - what a great idea to start this thread - its so nice to chat to you all.  It's amazing to think how many people want to adopt for Spain to actually close its doors!!  Is the process still the same if you are adopting from abroad?

Katherine -  I'm glad that your first prep day went so well - oh I so want to get started and hope that we don't have to wait too long!  I'd be devestated if we had to wait until next year to even get started.

Have a good weekend everyonexx


----------



## NuttyJo

hey daisydip, my info pack too about 4-5 days to arrive and then a couple of weeks for them to come and see me so not too long a wait.

the sw was here for about 3hours today!!! loads and loads of info to take in and shes reccommending that we go for the training course and we should look to have 2 young siblings or one older child at a time. 

oddly i dont feel as excited as i thought i would. in fact its made me feel like i want to adopt now instead of in a few years   i dont know why and it might just be the fear of failing at this, im not sure. but im going to have a think about it all and speak to dh over the weekend about it.

sorry this was another quick visit, just needed to put those thoughts down


----------



## Camly

hiya ladies

i thought that i would join you - if that was ok. 

bit about me.... been married for about 1 and a half years. when i met my dh, he had told me had had a vasectomy, only 6 months before he found out his (now) ex wife was cheating on him!!     so i have always known this is the case. we have had a vas reversal but it didnt work and neither has the option of sperm retrieval. so £8500 down the line, we are still without a baby. however, we are both very excited at the prospect of adopting. 

we are only at the very beginning of this road, had the info pack in august 07, prep group in dec 07 and had our sw visit about a fortnight ago. i have also had my medical due to an abnormal smear. so now we wait..... to see if we are going to be able to go ahead with our home study. i cant shake the feeling that its all going to go pear shaped - dont know why - not sure if its cause everything else has gone pear shaped when it comes to us having a family?? i sooooo hope im wrong and we can proceed asap.  

i hope you dont mind me joining you all, seeing as how we are almost 'at fault' for not being able to have a family. my dh has 2 kids from his previous marriage so we are truely blessed to have them. it would just be nice to have our own little family together (if that makes sense?)

look forward to getting to know you all better.

lots of love camly xxxx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Hi Ladies

I have updated the list on page 1- i have also added the following info- please take note (please dont think anyone has done wrong-its just a warning)

[info] Hi Ladies and Gents

Please take note of the following info (Posts will be edited by a mod/admin if it is felt needed)
Fertility Friends is a public site and can be accessed by anyone. We would like to remind you that all posts 'must' be discreet when it comes to discussing what is involved in the process, particularly the home study part.
[/info]

Camly- Welcome to the adoption threads- i wanted to post and say NEVER EVER feel that you are "at fault" for you and DH not having a bio child- when you DH had the snip his life was going down another path he wasnt to know how it would change and turn out. i think we have all worried about the process due to the hurt we have with IF and Tx- i personally found the adoption process a great journey as it was more of a joint process then tx ever was as it us ladies who go through the bulk of it with tx.

Jo- You need to be 100% sure of what you want to do weather it be fostering or adoption.

 to everyone else

xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Camly - lovely to have you join us and never think that you are 'at fault' for not being able to conceive your own child...we all reach adoption through different routes  

MJ - thanks for the warning - I'm never sure what I can/can't put so it's good that it will be edited!

Jo - glad the visit was okay, and it's not a bad thing that it's made yuo want to adopt NOW! Maybe it just felt so real that you felt you wanted to have your child sooner rather than later? If it's because of worry then we're all here to help  

Boomy sos glad the seminars are back on!



Hello all you other lovely ladies!


----------



## Boomy

Morning girls... o it is probably evening for you.    

Daisydip - I was like you.  Once I had made the initial phone call  I couldn't wait to get the information pack.  And when I finally did I was a bit disappointed as there wasn't much in it.    

Jo - Pleased the SW visit went well.  Three hours, crikey that is a looonnngg visit.    Good luck in making your decision.  

Camily - Welcome hun.    As the other ladies have said, 'you are not at fault for not being able to have a family'.  Take that thought right out of your head right now.    

Kay - I see you've started a diary.    Me too.  

Thanks ladies... yes we are really pleased our seminars are back on too.    

I had a thought...  , do you ladies want to name this thread?  I had thought we could call it "Absolute Beginners" because we all are.      Any other ideas??  

Have a nice weekend,
Love Boomy xx


----------



## NuttyJo

camly - welcome   i agree with the other ladies, never feel guilty or like its your fault that you cannot have your own child cos its NOT!   I will have to send Boomy over with her baseball bat if you keep thinking that   

spaykay & boomy, i have told dh i want to talk through everything today as MJ said, we need to be 100% into it for it to work and i know he is but im still not sure. Im a very indecisive person though so that might not help!   I do know that mothering sunday has been playing on my mind a lot (pretty sure it may have for you too) and this is the first one where I know that I will never have my own bio child so its kinda put a dampner on the fostering side of things i think. I do feel after a nice long sleep last night, more renewed and ready to takle being a foster carer but there are still some doubts, mainly about my own abilities really as the SW pointed out, we're not parents so we cannot use our own parenting skills to help us. Basically we will be going into this 'blind' I think she said. 

And I liked your thought about the name thing Boomy   anyone else agree?

Love jo xxx


----------



## Spaykay

I was a bit tiddly last nite when I typed   thus the great advice I gave  

I'll have to change the title so please give your ideas and we'll have a vote! I'm happy with absolute beginners...any other ideas...1st timers...?I'm not very imaginative  

Morning Boomy, or is it evening now!   In your profile you can put your real time on.

Kay xxx


----------



## Camly

hiya

thanks for your kind words...and i have now put the idea of 'being at fault' right outta my head... i was scared of the    from boomy   

take it it wouldnt be appropriate to call the thread adoption virgins?!?!?!?    

look forward to sharing with you all. 

enjoy your weekend.  x x x x x


----------



## Spaykay

Camly said:


> hiya
> 
> thanks for your kind words...and i have now put the idea of 'being at fault' right outta my head... i was scared of the   from boomy


Is Boomy the one who's gonna tell us all off then when we misbehave! 

We can call it anything Camly - just send in the ideas and we'll vote tomorrow...does that sound okay?

Kay xxx


----------



## NuttyJo

i like adoption virgins ....  been a long time since i was one of them!!


----------



## crusoe

Hi everyone

Can I join you please. I have always posted on the "treatment abroad thread" but know that we are so far down the adoption path it feels right to be joining you. Kay I recognise you from the "Abroadies" thread and I look forward to getting to know everyone else.

We have completed 2 prep courses (our LA seems different from others) and are about to start home study. We are so nervous about this but also really excited. It seems that we are really making progress which after years of failed IVF's is just wonderful.

Crusoe
x


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Crusoe

Its good to read you are about to start home study.  I've often looked out for you on the 'Abroadies' and wondered how you were getting on.

Good luck with the process, it really isn't as bad as its made out to be.
Love
OT x


----------



## Daisydip

My info pack arrived today which is great although it does state that our LA is currently only accepting application for people who will consider a child five and over (although a younger child may still be matched). A little disappointed to start with but the more I think about it the more I would definitely consider a child that is a bit older. Age is just a number really and every child is so different so we have decided to proceed.

We have to attend an info meeting before we can actually apply and there is one this Friday and then not again until May so I am going to talk to with my work on Monday and see if i can get time off to go this week as I don't want to wait!! God I am so impatient!! DH is self employed and generally has a bit of a flexi day on Fridays anyway.

He admitted today that he is finding the thought of it all very daunting. It's not that he deosn't want to proceed but he has very little experience with children and I have so much ( I am a nursery teacher and have been a cub leader for the last 5 years!). I really feel for him and said that it was so important that we talked about our hopes and fears and make sure we can talk to each other about anything. I'm so excited about the prospect of being a mum and I have to be careful that I'm not pushing DH into something that he doesn't want to do.

Anyway enough of me!!

Camley - Hi and welcome! I totally agree with what the others have said. We have all had different journeys to have arrived at the point we are at today, but regardless of those journeys we all want the same thing and that is a family. It is fantastic that we can all support each other as we venture down this next path.

Jo  - I'm glad the SW visit went well. I think the majority of people must go in to fostering/adoption blind just as many couples do when they have their own children - look at it as 'on the job training'!
I can understand how mothers day has made you feel, but you could turn that around and think that now you have chosen this route you will definitely be a mum one day 
You certainly won't fail - we are all behind you. 

Crusoe and Old Timer Hi and Welcome

I vote for Adoption virgins!!! Its very apt!!!


----------



## Boomy

Adoption virgins... I love it. Great name for us.  

Quick post as I should be cooking tea. 

Just wanted to say hi and welcome to Crusoe.   



Spaykay said:


> Is Boomy the one who's gonna tell us all off then when we misbehave!


Yep... sure am. 

Take care ladies,
Love Boomy xx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Hello there,

After many years of ups and downs, we are starting the process.
We are both very excited but nervous still.
We have our Social worker, who up until now has been fantastic.

Wishing you all good luck and hope the process runs smoothly for everybody

Cheese


----------



## Spaykay

Hi Crusoe - yes, I've seen you on abroadies! Glad you've joined us!

Cheesey! - hi there hunny! Great to have a bloke in here! And such an important one at that! 

Can't do much else as have huge hangover from a hen night!







Ewwwwww...singing karaoke until 4 am! Bad idea...although I'm sure I was great!









Kay xxx


----------



## NuttyJo

typed a long reply and it crashed on me!  TWICE!!! arrrggghh!

daisydip, glad you and dh can talk openly about how you're feeling, i think that is one of the main things that help relationships carry on. took me ages to get dh to talk about how hes feeling but now i cant shut him up  how about your dh volunteering somewhere if he can with children? or borrowing friends children to look after so he can get some practice in then and not feel so worried? 

spaykay lol... was this you in your head?  

hello and welcome to our first man!  where abouts in the process are you and mrs cheese? 

hello to boomy, crusoe, old timer, camly, mj and everyone else (sorry still learning names!) 

jo xxx


----------



## Spaykay

JO you hit it on the nose! That IS what I looked like (but I felt like the singing stalk...or whatever it is!  )

Kay xxx


----------



## NuttyJo

i thought it was a chicken! and i like the name change lol


----------



## Spaykay

I've changed the title ladies and gents! Jo - I just looked like a flapping bird I'm sure! However, my balloon modelling went down well, a hen on another hen night even ended up wearing 1 of the balloon hats I made!

Kay xxx


----------



## Camly

helllooooooo fellow virgins!!!   

hope you are all well and the thought of mothers day is getting anyone down...(well not alot anyway).  

cheshire - hiya, i recognise you from the other threads i used to be one.  nice to 'see' you again!  

crusoe - welcome. good luck with the home study. im hoping we wont be too far behind you.

spaykay - hope your not suffering too much hun. hope you had a good night! i have a hen weekend in spain at the start of may. my best friend is getting married and i am a bridesmaid. looking forward to it, should be good fun.

hi to jo, diasydip, boomy, old timer (sorry if i have missed anyone out). hope everyone is well and enjoying whats left of weekend.  

lots of love camly xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Camly - where abouts in Spain is the hen  night? I'm in Madrid. We were outside drinking at 11 pm last night...not usually warm enough at this time of the year.

Kay xxx


----------



## Camly

hiya kay

we are going to lloret de mar?  on the 1st of may - cant wait!   should be really good fun.  it will be nice to get away for a while too.  my friend who is the other bridesmaid cant come, as she was due a baby on easter sun but she gave birth on wed to a beautiful baby boy.  he is gorgeous. its also been confirmed that he has downs syndrome. so things have been very emotional the last few days.  but she has a good support network so im sure she will be fine.  it just goes to show, even being pregnant can have its problems not just having adopted kids?  

hope your hangover is going away.  

x x x


----------



## loch_ness

HI everyone may i join you, i had my initial meeting with the sw in Feb 2008 and i'm now waiting to go on a prep course in July.  At the moment we have a sticking point which is having to get a CRB done for my husband because he lived in Spain but i'm sure we will over come this hurdle.

love

Nerys


----------



## Spaykay

Hi Nerys   welcome to our virgin thead!   What does CRB stand for? I live in Spain.

Kay xxx


----------



## loch_ness

Hi Spaykay

I'm not sure what it means all i know it's to do with the police checking out if you  have any criminal records etc.

Nerys


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Hi Ladies and Gents

Welcome to the new "virgins"  have added you to the list on page 1

CRB is criminal records bureau and is a police check

Bit of advice - I know when we started the process we were told about using contraception you may think  however someone from our prep group got preg after starting the Home study and also we have our own FF who got prep just after approval panel

Have added you all to the who's who list here too- please shout if any details need updating/changing http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=119824.0

xxx


----------



## daisyboo

Oh My God i turn my back fir a few days's and have become a VIRGIN  (DH wishes) ewww i can still remeber my first time 
Well it's great to see so many of us already, well i'm sat here can't go to bed as i have to pick in laws up from airport, have prep course in morning i am absolutley bricking it, but like others have said Adoption has an ending a positive one, i was at my sisters today for lunch with my mum and family and just raised a glass and wished them both a happy mothers day, and both said back and we wish you a future happy mothers day my god i was nearly crying at the thought   i can't beleive how "normal" i feel if that makes sense i know last year i was so down depressed couldn't look forward to anything,
And another thing i had my police check through and my name is spelt wrong do you think i would need another doing?
Well ladies off to have asnoop on the other threads, so i'll catch up with you later,
Love Daisyboo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Well it all starts for us tomorrow(Monday).

Sw is coming out to discuss DW's medical, and possibly mine as it will be a big hurdle to get past for both us, on the medical side.
Had to get all our bits and pieces together, papers and things ready.
I love the way the SW does everything through email, it really helps for you keep a track of things without lots of telephone conversations to get things going
It looks like some LA/VA's do these bits a bit differently.

daisydoo, i know what you mean about feeling normal again, starting this process has given my DW a new lease of life, we both have something to look forward too for a change

Cheese


----------



## Boomy

Kay - Sorry to hear you're hungover.  That was me last week.  Went round to my sister's place with my best friend and got horribly drunk.  Perhaps sitting outside in the sun with a couple of bottles of wine wasn't such a good idea.    I paid the price the next day, when my   only left the couch to get food and fizzy drink.    What songs were you singing?  Or can't you remember?  

Nerys - Welcome to the thread hun.   

Daisyboo - Good luck with your prep course tomorrow.    You'll be fine chick.  

Cheese - Welcome to the 'Virgins' thread.    Good luck for tomorrow too.  It's nice to have a bloke on here.  Is Mrs Cheese a FF member too?

Love Boomy xx


----------



## Camly

morning folks

just a quickie before work (ohh err mrs)

good luck daisy and cheshire - im sure you will be fine today.  let us know how you get on.

speak to you all later.  have a good day.  

xxx


----------



## NuttyJo

good luck for today daisy and cheese    

daisy your story about your family nearly made me cry so i dont know how you didnt! i would have been sobbing lol

morning to everyone  

love jo x


----------



## Spaykay

Daisyboo and Cheesey How'd it go today  It's so exciting getting started isn't it! Hope Mrs Cheese is feeling well , she deserves some good luck! Well, you both do! I'm ringing the doc tonight (DH is!) to set a date fopr our medical check...he already knows us as he's our fertility doc (and a parent at school) so shouldn't take long...then I can hand it all in!  Then I guess we wait for a call to give us the date for our course!

I hear that adoption in China is on a bit of a hold because of the Olympics, however, as we're opting for Ethiopia this does not affeect us.

I'm still so nervous about our choice of country as I know that the child will be subject to issues in the future that a child from a country with more similar characteristics would not have to face. However, it's very limited here and I feel that we will give them a great home. I so want advice on how I can help them feel accepted and celebrate our differences rather, I want the, to recognise that we're all different from an early age and not suddenly face any crisis when older. NOw I'm beginning to waffle, sorry

Kay xxx


----------



## daisyboo

Hi Guy's quickly popping in to say Hi and i'm still alive   i managed to survive the first day i am so releived it was quite a nice and relaxed day so many coffee breaks, spent most of the day in the loo  it's been really informative and i feel fine about going back Friday,

Kay i'm sure your feelings are normal but you will be fantastic parents and encourage any child to be head strong, independant and proud of their heritage sending you loads of  

Cheese, hope all went well for you today and you get over the next hurdle, i wish our SW was a bit more like yours and not forgetful we have met her twice now and on both ocasions she has forgotten one form or another 

Calmy Thanks for the kind words hope work wasn't to hard and boring 

Boomy Fancey getting into that sort of state  i must admit it's been a while since i was like that need to get out more i think,

Hello to everyone sorry if i have forgotten you   need to go now DH cooking Tea and we need to do our Homework for Friday 
Love to all
Daisyboo xxxxxx


----------



## Tarango

Hello everyone,

Can I join you? We are waiting to see if we are on the April rep course... should find out in the next couple of weeks - quit exciting!

 to everyone, I'm sure I'll pick up everyone's name (can remember Daisy as there are 2!!   )

love
T
xx


----------



## Boomy

Welcome to our little group, Tarango.   

Kay - Just because you are thinking of and worrying about all the issues a child from another race will face, means you will be wonderful with helping that child to embrace their culture and accept any differences.  It will be a challenge, but you are up for it.   

Daisyboo & Cheese - Where are you?    Hope everything went well for you both today.  

Love Boomy xx


----------



## Camly

hey tarango! 

glad you found your way to the rest of us virgins!!  

i have PM'd you.

hi to all you other virgins   

lots of love camly  x x x x x


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Well hello everybody!!

Everything went well, we have a jewel of a social worker.
She really is doing her best for us, made up.

We had some form filling to do today for the CRB checks and some other stuff, and then she left us with a pile of homework for the home studies.
Also all our references forms to pass on to to our friends and family.

I would recommend you have your shift patterns for this stage, as we have managed to book in several dates ahead. 

We are both going for the medicals in a couple of weeks, oh my god it is really happening.

I must say it is a nice feeling, after all the IVF and Mrs Cheese being in and out of Hospital for the past 5 years.

So everything is good

What about everybody else


Cheese


----------



## Boomy

​
Hey Cheese, pleased to hear the visit went well. It must be a great feeling knowing things are finally 'happening'. You both deserve it.

I can't wait to get to our seminars and get the ball rolling too. Your post has made me really keen and impatient to start.   

Boomy xx


----------



## yonny

Hi there!!! Another virgin!!!!!!!     
Ive just had my 4th BFN and am beginning to think I may never have a child unless i adopt so here I am! 
I literally have done nothing - apart from going to an open evening a year ago - so I am totally starting from scratch, any hints or tips gratefully received!
I dont even know who is best to get in touch with first
Looking forward to chatting to you all
Yonny x


----------



## Camly

hiya

cheshire - glad things went well.  look forward to hearing more.

yonny - welcome!!   sorry to hear about your BFN.  hope we can help.

how is everyone else doing?  

x x x x


----------



## Daisydip

Hi all,

Just a qucik message as can't stay on here for long.  

Welcome all you new virgins!!!


Yonny - I am at very beginning of process too - actually not started yet.  I phoned my LA last week and we are attending a welocme meeting this Friday - so so excited and hope I still am after the meeting!

Daisyboo and Cheesy - so glad your visits went well - I can't wait to be at that stage.

Speak to u all soon.

Perhaps we could arrange a time that we could all meet in the chat room - what do you think??

Daisy (dip!)


----------



## Spaykay

Daisydip - there's usually an adoption chat night on a Tues/Weds that I sometimes go into, would love to chat!  

Yonny - hey babe, lovely to see you over here  

Camly - I'm good ta, how are you? 

Cheesey - so glad you've got a lovely SW

Boomy -  

Tarango - welcome to the virgins  

Daisyboo  - so glad your meeting went well, hope Friday is just as good  

Jo - how's it going? 

Nerys -  

MJ - our creator    

I handed in my medical cerificates for the doc to do today so hope he fills them in quickly!  

Kay xxx


----------



## Boomy

Hi Yonny,

Welcome to our group.    Sorry to hear about your 4th BFN.  It ain't easy is it?  A gal can only take so much.  

I'm pretty much at the beginning too, just waiting for our introduction seminar.  We were lucky enough to get a home visit for this as my DH was not able to get the time off work... so waiting for a phone call to tell us when...

 to all the virgins,

Boomy xx


----------



## NuttyJo

hello!

sorry for the lack of personals, had a hectic week so far and had a much needed lie in this morning so just got up!  

had a scary moment monday where we had to rush my 4mth niece to hospital as her whole hands and arms up to her elbow and her feet had turned blue, almost black   turns out she has a thing called reynauds phenomenon (sp?!) and she will have to live with it throughout her life. it was so scary when it happend though, i didnt know what to say to my sister as she was thinking the worst etc. but least we know whats up and she will be ok  

with regards to the fostering, we have our application forms which we are now filling in and also got a date for our 'skills to foster' training course   its the end of this month! OMG! didnt realise it would move so quickly so trying to prepare ourselves as much as we can

hello to everyone and lots of   and   to all who need them!

love jo x


----------



## crusoe

Hi virgins!! 
Thanks everyone for the warm welcome.
I just wanted to say "Hi and welcome" to Yonny. I've been where you are and completely understand the multiple BFN thing. I have found the adoption process so far much more positive than IVF. Sure it's slow but at least we feel we are making progress in the right direction. After a BFN with IVF you just seem to be continually back to square one all the time which is so demoralising. If I can help with any advice let me know.

Cheshire cheese - glad your visit went well. We meet our social worker for the first time next week to begin home study. I hope ours is a "jewel" too - she sounded nice on the phone so fingers crossed. You are lucky your's uses email our LA seem to only want to write to us by snail mail which I find so fustrating.

Jo - hope your niece is doing ok now - sounds really scary.

Hi to everyone else - looking forward to getting to know you all. I'm off for a rest. I have just started volunteering on Wednesday morning at a local playgroup. today was my first session and I'm done in.









Love and luck
Crusoe
xx


----------



## Spaykay

Crusoe - I'm constantly knackered! I teach 3 year olds and they're gorgeous bit soooooo tiring!

Jo -   glad your neice is okay, what a huge scare! Glad the papers are getting in order for fostering!

Boomy - oooo a home seminar, hope it goes well...come on phone RING!!!

We handed in our medical certificate today and I stupidly hoped to get it back today   I hope we don't wait too long, it's the only piece of paper I need to mean I can hand it all in! The sooner handed in the sooner we have the course!

Kay xxx


----------



## yonny

Hi girlies!  Thank you for the welcome!

Thanks crusoe and camly for offers of advice, I will certainly pick your brains if I may! 

Got a nice email from a lady answering my initial email - she just explained who dealt with adoption in my area and that she would be in touch with us so that was nice!

I have a few questions about the home study but understand I cant post them here due to the nature of the thread, would anyone be happy to answer if I pm'd them to ask the questions   
Nothing major - just a few things regarding my own personal circumstances!
Its all very scary to begin with!!!!

Hope everyone is good? I have to go put some dinner on!
Yonny x


----------



## Spaykay

Mmmmmmm...Yonny - what ya gonna have for dinner? My DH has bought pastries...but as usual only for himself!  

Kay xxx


----------



## yonny

Chicken with pasta in a tomato, basil and garlic sauce with mushrooms and roasted tomatoes! 
All made by me and he gobbled it up!!! 
Did you DH share the pastries?? 
Yonny x


----------



## Tibbelt

ladies,

I'm wondering if I can join you? DH & I are about in the middle of our homestudy with panel provisionally booked for 1st July and I've been posting on 'our adoption journey' a bit but lots of the lovely girls on there seem to already have been approved and are now in the waiting for a match bit so I was feeling a bit lonely...

Bit of our history - started TTC in March 04, found out in April 05 that my gorgeous wonderful DH had a genetic mix up (a translocation) which meant he produced no wrigglers. We finally, after much thought, decided to go down the donor route and have 2xIUIs both of which were BFNs, then a fresh ICSI which was also  BFN. We then had a FET and another ICSI both of which gave us the much wished for BFP but sadly we lost both bubbas. The second one turned out to be a molar pregnancy and after some investigations it turns out that I'm 'sub-fertile too' (always said DH & I were a match made in heaven!   )

It was a rough old ride and all the way through it we'd been talking about adoption (we both have people very close to us who are adopted) and in spring 2007 we realised that we didn't want the tx rollercoaster and that this was the road for us!   We finally found a LA who were recruiting white parents last July and we went for an information day, prep course was in November and we started homestudy in Jan (Feb has been a bit of a break cos our SW has been on holiday for most of the month, though she has been keeping us busy with homework... for the girlies just starting out, be prepared - there's lots of homework!!!    )

Phew - sorry, waffled on a bit!

Anyway, I hope I can join you and I look forward to getting to know you all! Wishing you all tons and tons of   for your journey to your little ones!

Lots of love 
Sarah
xx
p.s. please forgive me if I don't post all that often, I'll do my best but it's not always easy to login at work and the home pc is a bit wobbly!


----------



## KTP71

Hi Virgins hope you are all ok.  Sorry not posted much in last week but its been pretty hectic and I seem to be picking up every bug or cold from the nursery that I volunteer at!  Well we had day 2 of our prep course yesterday which is going well.  The social workers are really enthusiastic and there's a lovely bunch of people in the group.  Got another 2 days left so by Easter all done and dusted.  I asked how long it would be until we are allocated our own sw to start home study and was told worst case 2 months which is much quicker than I had expected so think its going to be pretty busy from now on for the rest of the year!!  Yippee!!

Sorry no personals need to read through the posts to catch up..


----------



## Kate0103

Hi everyone,
I wonder if i can join you - I am very new to adoption and am only just gathering information. My DH and I have been ttc for a few years, I had to have my ovary removed when i was 15 so always thought i'd have fertility problems. But as it turns out my DH has really poor sperm - bad morphology and mortility so ICSI was the only way to go. On our second attempt i was pregnant with twins but sadly lost our baby girls last March due to premature labour - i was almost 22 weeks so they were too young to survive. Last year was a bad year as shortly after the birth i came down with an illness called GBS (where the immune system attacks the nervous system) and ended up in hospital for 5 months! But now i'm home and recovering well - still need crutches to walk but i'm getting there.  

After lots of soul searching i think we've both decided to not go ahead with another IVF cycle incase the same thing happens and look forward to adopting our children instead. My DH is adopted by his father so adoption has always been very positive. 
Trouble is i'm starting to get a bit worried about the information i'm being given - i've contacted my LA (Bromley,London) and have also been in touch with many VA - but they are all saying that we will not be able to adopt a baby or very young child (preferably we wanted to adopt a child or sibling pair under 1) as these children are first put into foster care. THey have told me that the children available are aged around 2-3yrs upwards. They have also said that most of the children who need homes have physical or learning difficulties.
I just wondered if everyone out there is being given similar information - I knew that adoption would be difficult and it would become a huge journey just like IVF but i didnt think we would have a problem finding a baby or young child to give a home and future to. I would really be very thankful for any advice or help you can offer me.  We are desperate to have a family and have so much love to give to a child or two children. I just never realised it would be so difficult to just get started. I have looked into intercountry adoption aswell - we are interested in children from CHina but have recently read that the government has increased the waiting time to 4 yrs!!!!!!! And thats after going through the home study and getting approved in the UK. So now i am back to square one - where do i go from here?


----------



## Spaykay

Lots of new virgins Welcome!  

Kate - what a lot you've been through   I hope adoption brings you that long awanted child/ren soon   In Spain it takes about 3 years to adopt from China including paperwork time etc. So look into it as 4 years sounds alot!  

KTP71 - glad the wait is shorter than you expected.  

Sarah - 1st July is my bday   so that sounds like a good date to me!

How's all my lovely other vigins?  

Kay xxx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Hi Ladies

I will add you new "Virgins" to the laist later however wantedd to pop on to say hi

Kate- I am so sorry of the loss of your daughters   - we went through the adoption process which we started in dec 06 with approval panel sept 07 and wanted a sibling group of 2-3 children 0-5yrs old we have just found out about our little ones (only on tues) and we have a DS who is nearly 19months and a DD who is 3 this month. You will be told of worse case senario for everything during the adoption process however this is to show your commitment.

For all of you just starting out i can honestly say it it worth it- we only read our childrens profiles on Tue and saw pics yesterday however i am totally in owe of our little people even down to how they look like other children in our family when they were little (and they are pics that our SW never saw of our nieces/nephew so she doesnt know! )

 

M J
xxx


----------



## KTP71

Kate I'm so sorry you have been through such a tough time over the last year, as MJ said the social workers do paint the blackest picture possible and it is difficult to take in - we were also told the local authority was only looking for adopters of older children (ie above 3) or sibling groups or children with disabilities otherwise we would not be accepted onto a prep course until 2009!  We are willing to look at siblings but would prefer younger children and have been honest with the sw - whilst we would consider a child up to school age we would like younger.  I was surprised when I looked at the statistics for my 2 local authorities for placements made in the last year and around 65% placed were under 4 years old.

MJ cant believe how your little ones look similar to the family- I have heard this thought from quite a few people how bizarre it is how the children look like the adopted family.

Take care

Katherine


----------



## CathE

Hi Virgins

Can I join in too? From a teenager I've always had a sense that I would adopt and this was confirmed recently when I was found to have a balanced translocation of my chromosomes. 
I've had 2 full ivf cycles and one natural mc and something has always gone wrong with my treatment; from twice having my bloods sent in wrong tubes, to becoming pg when I'm dr then miscarrying that baby and on recommencing treatment having to keep dr because the clinic didn't check with my pct that my funding was still available and couldn't stim until it was!! Enough was enough and glad that part of my life is over and i can live again, although I have to say we've had some great laughs over the process (from dh trying to beat his friends sample counts to having treatment alongside 2 ladies!).
I made my initial phone call last week and I'm now waiting a date for the info evening.

Spaykay - is Willy (your photo) a tortoise? I have a baby one called Dolly (although not convinced she's a girl!) and she was born the day my baby would have been due had I not miscarried.
Boomy my dh is from New Zealand. Are you in the North or South Island? I would love to move there as it's so beautiful. Is ther an age limit for adoption over there? I'd heard it was 40?
Yonny - sorry to hear about your bfn's. You sound like you've been through the mill. 
Tibbelt - sorry to hear your dh was a translocation too. Mine afftects chromosomes 6 and 12 and after the initial anger I quite enjoy the fact I'm a bit unique! Do you know if every man with a translocation has affected swimmers? I'm asking because my brothers haven't been tested yet one is ttc and has had a mc.
Kate - glad to hear you've recovered from your gbs. I know it takes a long time to recover from it as I've nursed 2 people with it during my career. Have they got any further with research into it? I'm so sorry to hear about your twins. I can't possibly imagine the heartbreak it must have caused you both 
Cheese - I've been trying to get my dh to join these boards but he's a bit shy in talking to strangers. He's quite nervous about the process but he did help bring his ex girlfriend 2 kids up so has had more experience than me.
Look forward to chatting to you all.
Love Cath x


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Cath

I have been using the boards for a few years now and to be fair they have kept me sane.
So being part of FF is the norm for me now, it is hard to get us chaps to chat on the boards some think it is a man thing. If only more used the boards we would all have a better understanding of one another i think.

KPT, i think you have to be honest with yourself when you are going for your age groups in Adoption, as this is something you will be committed to for the rest of your life  and not fooling yourself with what you really want, although Social Workers are looking for parents for the Children not Children for parents.

You have the right policy in the way you are thinking


----------



## Tibbelt

Kay - oh that's good to know, panel on your birthday must be a good omen for us!!   (though you do realise that I'll be willing you to turn another year older don't you?! Cos I'm wishing the days away til panel!!!   Sorry honey!!   )

Kate - I'm so sorry to hear of your sad loss, I can only imagine the pain you and DH have been through   But I   to your strength and welcome to this so exciting journey! 

Mr Cheese  - hello! I feel like I know you as I've lurked and posted on various parts off FF for years! You're absolutely right about SS looking for parents for children and not children for parents, we are simply a resource!   But we are one that is much needed and We're very lucky that our LA recognises that and so is very supportive of us, I know that's not the case always! Hope you're enjoying the journey to your dreams come true!  

CathE - WOW! what a journey you've had!!! My DH has a translocation of the 5th & 12th cromosomes and it's apparently v. rare - we suspect that it probably affects all men in the same way but as it's not been seen before we don't really know  . Wishing your brother and his wife all the best in their journey   and welcome on board to you!  

KPT - glas to hear that things are moving quite quickly for you! And I know other's have said it but you do have to be realistic about ages of little ones, whilst a lot are under 4 not many are babes in arms... but then babies are only babies for a short time, children are children for a lot longer and every parent I know says that the fun bit (nappies aren't that great!!   )

Jo R - how's your neice honey? Hope she's feeling better and is recovered from her scare  

MJ - thank you for looking after us all! Hope you're still floating on your    

Boomy - do you have a date for your information evening yet? Hope yoyu're not kept waiting too long.

Crusoe - how are you finding homestudy? We're about half way through and I have to say so far so good, the homework is a bit mindblowing but we're pretty much dedicating every sunday to it! Me typing sat in bed with amy laptop and DH in the study, typing away too! Have to say the glass of vino we have when done is well earned!!!   Hope all's going well for you!

Yonny - so sorry you've had such a rough ride honey   - IVF really is a rollercaoster (and one I'm very glad to have got off! It's enough to send you totally  ). Hope you're feeling stronger and please do feel free to pm me with any questions - I'll do my best to answer them!

 to anyone I've missed (not intentional - just still getting to know everyone!)
Hope oyu all have something lovely planned for the weekend - We've got the in-laws coming for dinner tonight (have put a Massaman curry on to cook in the slow cooker!) and I'm working tomorrow (boo hoo!) but looking forward to a long lie in on Sunday (before doing my homework of course like a good student!!!)

Our visit went really well yesterday - our SW was with us over 3 hours... she's quite a chatterbox, as am I! So it all takes a while, but I'm glad as it feels like we're building a good relationship with her which is so important as she'll write up the all important   Form F1!!!

I know I've said abot to Yonny to feel free to Pm me with any questions re homestudy etc, but please do feel free if there's anything I can answer re prep courses etc for those of you yet to go on them - happy to help where i can! I reckon if we all put our heads together we can stay sane on this journey!!! 

Have a lovely weekend all
lots of love
Sarah
xxx


----------



## yonny

Hi girls - and Mr Cheese! 
Well, Ive just had my first conversation with a SW!! She was just taking initial details and invited us to an open evening on 30th April!
Im to expect a 'pack' in the post and we go from there!
She did say they werent accepting enquiries from people who wanted babies as they only had children from 3 upwards but if I was prepared to accept siblings then perhaps it could work that way,so of course I said yes (a baby would be lovely of course but I gather everyone asks for a baby?) she also asked about ethnicity and when I said I didnt mind she seemed very surprised!! Which surprised me!!
Can someone tell me, can I go to a different area to adopt ? and can I be on the adoption list for more than one area?
My DH has a daughter with his ex, would that be seen as a problem as he left her ?(has a fab relationship with his daughter though as do I) Do I have to have a room ready for a child? I have a spare room but it doesnt even have a bed in it at the mo!!! 
Tibbelt youre a star, I will pick your brains if I may its just that I dont yet know what to ask!!!!!!!!!  
Right, I need to read back a bit so apologies for no personals!!!!
Hugs to all
Yonny x


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

yonny,

To answer your question about being registered with more than one agency, no i am sorry to tell you that as far as i am aware you are only able to be with one.

But you can go out of the area and go through another agency, but i wouldn't go to far as i have been told it can be difficult in circumstances like being matched to children and travelling etc..
But lots of people go out of there borough but we choose to stay within ours as they could accommodate what we were looking for.
I did have a look into an area in Wales but they couldn't meet our requirements.

A lot is a about personal choice and what age group you are looking for

Hope this answers some of your question

Cheese


----------



## sarah sez

Hi Everyone would like to join if poss !   Have posted previously on adoption threads and found really supportive but like you guys am just starting out. We have been on info day and next Fri 14th are meeting the SW for initial interview. Am excited but nervous as out of the 3 we met she seemed quite severe and painted quite a bleak picture although can understand why.
Me and DH trying to conceive for 4 yrs I only have one tube and had ectopic may 07. Have thought long and hard but have decided not to pursue IVF.

Any tips on what she will ask at this initial interview ?

Good luck to all you ladies  

Sarah xxx


----------



## Boomy

Quick post... sorry for lack of personals...  busy day...

Hi to all the newbies. Welcome to the Virgins thread. 

Cath - Welcome.  You sound like you have had a rough ride, but still have a great attitude. Good on you.  


CathE said:


> Boomy my dh is from New Zealand. Are you in the North or South Island? I would love to move there as it's so beautiful. Is ther an age limit for adoption over there? I'd heard it was 40?


We are in the Manawatu in the North Island, it is a couple of hours drive from Wellington. Where abouts is your DH from? You are right, NZ is a beautiful country. I love it. I have not heard about a cut off age for adoption in NZ, but we are still in the early stages so hopefully will know more soon.

Still waiting to find out when our home visit will be. Rang the SW yesterday, and she said she hadn't forgotten us and will get back to us with dates/times soon.... 

Waiting, waiting, waiting...
Love Boomy xx


----------



## NuttyJo

hello and welcome all newbies     

sorry another quick post, niece was taken ill again last night and rushed into hospital again this morning after seeing the gp as shes caught a bug from being in hospital at the beginning of the week   shes very very poorly and has very low blood sugar so they're all very concerned as shes only 4 months   

sorry again for the quick post, heads too fuzzy to think!

love jo x


----------



## kizzymax

Hi all,

Thankyou Spaykay for inviting me to join this thread . I have been on the deciding and moving on pages, but am pursuing adoption now so thought i was on wrong thread anyway.

Been trying almost four years now, been with dh for nearly 17 years, we met when i was just 16, so had years to daydream about what i would call our first baby, how i would tell him i was pregnant etc, it just wasn't to be 

I have 1 blocked tube plus other tube almost the same as dye took ages to go through. Dh has very low count and high level antibodies in the sperm. Had one attempt at iccsi a year and a bit ago which was neg, was going for another couple of attempts but deep down i think i was doing to please others around me,  ie; mum, dad, inlaws and wanted to prove to myself that i was a woman. All the wrong reasons to put myself through the heartache of ivf again. 

In my heart of hearts i believe everything happens for a reason, so deep down i've felt that maybe i wasn't put on earth to give birth to be a mummy, maybe i am meant to take care and love a little one, who needs a good mum and who wasn't as lucky as some kids who are borne to great parents. I just know i would love a child no matter if i gave birth to them or not, a child learn from those who bring them up wether thats a biological mum and dad, grandparent or adopted parent, i truly believe that, so to me i just know however long it takes, i know this is the right path to take. My dh wanted it to happen biologically but is accepting now that adoption is a brilliant thing to do, and life doesn;t always pan out as we plan it. 

I feel i would like to offer the chance of a little one of about 3-4, but dh would prefer a younger child. I know it would be lovely to have baby but i just think that as a child gets a bit older they begin to understand more and become a lot more aware, and it breaks my heart to imagine a little one wondering why they can't call their foster parent mum or dad, must be so confusing as they get a bit older and upsetting. This is something we need to discuss quite soon, as we have the info eve on monday     

Thankyou so much for letting me join in with you lovely ladies, i had been so down about everything, but  now i feel like i can really start looking forward. 

LOL KAREN
XXXX


----------



## kizzymax

Sorry jo, i was busy writing my essay on here and noticed you had wrote about your poor little niece, poor little thing, only 4 months old, bet your heads whizzing around good and proper. Just had to send you a hug 
Love and kisses
Karen
xxx


----------



## Boomy

Hi Karen,

Didn't just want to read and run as your post brought tears to my eyes. 



kizzymax said:


> Been trying almost four years now, been with dh for nearly 17 years, we met when i was just 16, so had years to daydream about what i would call our first baby, how i would tell him i was pregnant etc, it just wasn't to be
> In my heart of hearts i believe everything happens for a reason, so deep down i've felt that maybe i wasn't put on earth to give birth to be a mummy, maybe i am meant to take care and love a little one, who needs a good mum and who wasn't as lucky as some kids who are borne to great parents. I just know i would love a child no matter if i gave birth to them or not, a child learn from those who bring them up wether thats a biological mum and dad, grandparent or adopted parent, i truly believe that, so to me i just know however long it takes, i know this is the right path to take. My dh wanted it to happen biologically but is accepting now that adoption is a brilliant thing to do, and life doesn;t always pan out as we plan it.


Thanks hunny for your post. And good luck in your adoption journey.  

Love Boomy xx


----------



## Boomy

Jo - Sorry to hear about your wee niece. 
  
Sendin you some cyberhugs      

xx


----------



## NuttyJo

thanks for all the hugs, shes doing much better today so the fluids etc have helped   

gosh reading all your posts makes me want to cry too   especially about daydreaming about how you would tell dh about being pregnant etc, i used to do that alot   still do sometimes   

big big     for everyone and lots of     too!

love jo xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Just a quicky (ooer) as been away and wanted to welcome Karen, Cath and Sarah!     Yes, Willy is a tortoise, bought soon after my miscarriage as a gift from DH  

Will read back as I can see there's lots of new news etc. I got my medical certificate now so will photocopy it tomorrow and hand in papers on Tues.

Kay xxx


----------



## NuttyJo

hi everyone

how are we all? 

my niece is better and home now so its all ok and i can stop worrying! 

my fostering forms have been posted and hopefully we filled them in ok   we're also booked on the prep course end of this month so its all going really quick   lets hope it stays that way  

anyone got any exciting news?   

love jo x


----------



## Tibbelt

Hello girlies (and Mr Cheese!)

I started posting yesterday but got borken off and it was only when I went to bed that I realised I've never finished my post!   Been a busy weekend with working on Sat and then trying to do homework, go shopping and see both my god-daughters yesterday! Was sooo tired this morning - rolled into work an hour late  But I so needed the sleep! (Luckily boss was out so I got away with it!!   )

Jo - I'm so glad to hear your niece is so much better! You must be so relieved  
Congrats on getting your forms posted off and your prep course will be here before you know it!!  

Kay-  is Tuesday your next appointment? I'll be thinking of you!  

Karen -  and welcome on board! You're message is so true   - and it's how I feel; that this is the joureny meant for DH & I because we have something really special to offer to a child who wasn't lucky enough to have the best start in life! Being a parent is not about a wriggler and an egg - it's about the care, love and support you can give your child (biological link or none!) and I think that we, as prospctive adoptive parents, are incredibly lucky to have such an opportunity! 
Oh that's a bit deep.... on another note - we won't get any stretch marks!  
Good luck for your info evening tonight!   

Boomy - hope your SW gets back to you soon with dates!  

Sarah -   and welcome on boards too! Hope your first appointment goes well - they'll probably just ask you about you, your relationship, why you want to adopt and your families. It's their first opportunity to get a feel for you (and you for them) - so just go with the flow, be honest and enjoy! They didn't ask us anything too difficult so I'm sure you'll be fine! Sending you good luck vibes   

Yonny - I think it was you who was asking about 'which LA?' We didn't go with our own LA as they weren't recruiting white parents and so we shopped around - eventually we did find an LA who were and we also felt very comfortable with their approach and so we applied to them. Basically you can go with any LA within approx a 50 miles radius of where you live - makes it manageable for all parties for home visits, courses etc. One thing to note is that often children are not placed within their originating LA as the birth family may be too near in some cases so sometimes it does help to go outside your LA (hope that makes sense!   ) but the main thing is to find an agency (VA or LA that you are at ease with - the homestuy can be intrusive and it's so much easier if you're comfortable to start with) p.s. we live in London so did have a few LA's to choose from!

Hello to anyone I've missed - hope you're all ok and having a good start to the week (apart from this horrid weather! urgh!  )
lots of love
Sarah
xxx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Jo they certainly don't mess about once you are in the system. 

What age group are you looking at Fostering or have you not decided yet.

We have our 2nd meeting tomorrow, after doing some of the homework and bugging all the family for info.

Also although Mrs Cheese has just gone back to work she has decided to apply for a new job as that many people have looked after her at Hospital she feels a bit uncomfortable, which is understandable.
So tomorrow she has got a an interview for a new job and then straight after an appointment with the Social worker   , 

Spaykay,

Sounds like things are starting to move over there too, doesn't it feel better when things are moving.
Sometimes with IVF treatment time seems like it is at a stand still, but with Adoption although there is still a waiting game, once you know you have been approved, you know what the out come is going to be!!

Listen to me waffling away here

Cheese


----------



## Tibbelt

Mr Cheese - you're so right! There's still a bit of waiting in this game but it's sooooo much more positive a ride than the rollercoaster of IVF!

Good luck for your appointment tomorrow (you made me   re your homework - a sign of things to come! I think I've bored my family to death asking them all sorts of questions!!)

Good luck to Mrs Cheese too for her interview!    

Lots of love
Sarah
xxx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Sarah, got it coming out of our ears.
We pull up in our car outside the families houses and its like Mi5 pulling up to interrogate everybody  , you can see the cutains twitching as we walk up the path     

I think us lot on here like to put ourselves through hell      

I think this is a cracking thread, fair do's Spaykay it has got everybody yapping anyway


----------



## Tibbelt

Totally agree - well done Kay!!!    

have a lovely evening all!
S
xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Sarah I just hand in my papers tomorrow, but it feels like a big step forward. I'm hoping I'm in time to get the 4 day course in before the summer and not have to wait until after...but what will be will be eh!

Jo glad your neice is a bit better.  

I'm so so so so so tired at the mo as I had a course at the weekend so haven't stopped. 

Big   to everyone!

Kay xxx


----------



## Camly

hi all

hello to any newbies i have not yet 'met'. welcome.

im bit fed up - we have had our prep groups - dec 07 and then we had to wait for sw visit - this was 4 weeks this fri - had my medical and posted papers etc to SW about 2 weeks ago......still not heard anything.....just want to know if we are moving onto home study. i know its a waiting game but i just want to know!!   

hope everyone is well.  

lots of love camly xxxx


----------



## Spaykay

Stinky Cheese errrr...I mean Mr Cheese   How'd it go today hun? Hope it wasn't too tough.

Camly - hope you here news soon.

I handed in the papers today to be sent off...should here in a month or more  , and that's just to see if I can move on to home visits and psych etc!   The waiting game begins!

Kay xxx


----------



## Camly

thanks kay

fingers crossed you hear soon!  


lots of love camly xx x x


----------



## Spaykay

I just noticed how awful my spellings were

here - hear!  

Kay xxx


----------



## CathE

HI Ladies

Thanks for the welcome Jo I'm glad your neice is feeling better.
Boomy - dh is from Auckland - I believe the rest of New Zealand called them Dorklanders!!

Well since my first post a few days ago there's been a twist to my adoption plans - I've just had a natural bfp. We are both terrified as there's a 50:50 chance of chromosomal issues and are trying not to raise our hopes too much. A sw rang yesterday and wants to come next Wednesday! Dh thinks we should carry on with the appointment.
 to everyone
Love cath x


----------



## Spaykay

Wow Cath!   I hope all turns out well with your BFP  

Kay xxx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Hello everybody

Well today has been a disaster really, Mrs Cheese didnt get her job and the SW didnt show, she sent an email to wrong address so we didnt know she couldnt make it!!

A bit miffed about that!! 

Never mind

Cheese


----------



## Boomy

OMG Cath, that is wonderful news.  Congrats to you and your DH, hunny.     Sending you lots of   that you will have an uneventful pg and a beautiful, healthy baby.  

Cheese - Sorry you & Mrs Cheese have had a bad day.  

Our SW has finally contacted us to say our home visit for the Introduction seminar will be next Tuesday.    I'm nervous now... but at least things are starting to move.

Love Boomy xx


----------



## Tibbelt

Mr Cheese - sending you big   to both you and Mrs Cheese for your horrid day! I can imagine just how fed up you're both feeling but hang on in there, the right job for Mrs Cheese will find her and your SW will get her act together (her not making this appointment might even work in your favour as she'll have to worker harder now to get things right for you!   )

CathE - oh WOW! honey, what a surprise!!! I totally understand your worries about the 50:50 thing (I know we'd have had the same odds) but am sending you tons and tons of     for a happy, healthy pregnancy! With regards to your appointment - why don't you go ahead with it and just not mention your BFP yet... at least that way you'd find out a bit more if you ever decided you wanted to adopt (a sibling maybe?   ) Take care honey and look after yourself (yourselves!  )!

Kay - Well done on getting your forms posted off? That's another step nearer to your dream!  

Jo - hope your niece is still doing well  

Boomy - next Tuesday will be here before you know it!!! How exciting!  

Camly - why don't you give them a call honey, I would - it's horrible when your just waiting! I've heard lots of stories about SWs not being terribly well organised   so I really don't think it would do any harm to ring and ask (it's only cos your so keen after all!) Good luck!  

Karen - how did oyur info evening go? Hope it was enjoyable and the inevitable 'worst case scenario' that they paint   wasn't too off putting!!! 

Sarah - hope all is well with you!  

Hope everyone is having a good week! Downhill to the weekend after today!!!  

Lots of love
Sarah
xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Cheester -   not what you need! So sorry you had such a   day  

Boomy -   for Tuesday, how exciting but nerve wracking!

 to you other virgins!

Kay xxx


----------



## kizzymax

Hi all,

Went to info night on monday which was very helpful and worth while. Only trouble is i really have a problem with the "openness" of adoption now with  contact with biological family wether its siblings, grandparents etc. It made me feel a bit like a long term baby sitter rather than a mum, and its made me think deeply about everything. I know that its meant to make you think deeply and to be sure its what you want, and i know that everything is geered up for the good of the child involved, but it just made me feel a bit sad really.

So time is key here, and to think seriously about wether i can handle the contact issues etc. My dh felt the same as me after. Don't know what to do now. Felt so positive and sure.

Another thing is there was a lady there who spoke of her experience of adoption as she had adopted a little girl of 2 1/2. It took her 19 months from start to getting her little one, and then 14 months for the legal side to be dealt with. That is 3 years 

I suppose i may be feeling a little angry at the moment deep down, because i just want to move forward in life away from infertility, and now i feel like its going to go on for years again.

Whilst i feel so neg about the whole business, i'll stay off the board because i don't like putting a dampener  on you lot on here who are going ahead with the process, its not fair.

Love to you all
Karen
xxx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Karen,
I have pm'd you
JD x


----------



## crusoe

Karen Hi

I just wanted to say that I felt pretty much like you at the beginning of our adoption process. We have now started home study and I have to say our feelings have changed considerably and we now feel much more comfortable about contact (even face to face ) if it is in the best interests of our child. I think it is completely normal to feel very uneasy about contact at the start but if you choose to proceed further I think the prep courses will help you with this issue.

I also understand your anger re: fertility treatment and the length of time adoption takes etc. This bothered me too but I honestly feel that although adoption is slow I am making progress all the time and I will be a Mum. With IVF I was continually back to square one all the time with no progress made at all which was hugely fustrating and upsetting.

Hang on in there - give yourself time to think, do some reading about adoption and talk to some of us that are a little further down the road. You may be very surprised about how your views can change.
Please PM me if you want.

Love
Crusoe
x


----------



## Tibbelt

Hi Karen,
I just wanted to echo what Crusoe has said so eloquently. Contact is a very emotional   issue and I know my DH wasn't over keen on the idea when we started (and to an extend I was very nervous about it too  , especially the idea of face to face) however, I am now an advocate of contact, so long as it is right for my child and not damaging or overly disruptive to them. 
Adoption is not like being a birth parent, and there's no avoiding that - but that difference doesn't make an adoptive parent any less of a parent, if anything we have fought so hard to become parents that when we do we'll be better prepared and more dedicated perhaps than many birth parents - we will be the ones who look after our children, feed them, play with them, read to them, nurse them when they're sick and look after their bumps and bruises when they fall. The tigress instinct will be there just as much as if we had carried those babies in our tummies for 9 months - and woe betide the person who hurts my child    ! 
Part of that instict, I truly believe, is that we will fight for what is best for our child, and if part of that is them understanding who they are and where they come from then maybe they do need some form of contact for that. Birth families can hover in the background like some kind of spectre for adoptive parents but this needn't be the case. I really do believe that if we understand their situation and help our children understand then we do not need to fear them. Contact also means that our children will be far less likely to imagine that their birth parents are 'perfect' and that when they're teenagers who will inevitably rebel maybe they won't be quite so tempted to threaten us with their birth parents (you know the 'my birth mum would let me go out / do it/ have that etc' kind of comments!  ) I for one would like to meet my child / children's birth parents, so that I can understand and so help my child to understand - don't get me wrong, I don't want them to part of our every day life but I'd like to know more than what's written in a report (maybe I'm just nosy!    )

The adoption process is a journey, quite a long one yes - but with good reason I think. We need that time to get used to the idea of all sorts of things, and most of the issues are those which natural parents can face but there are a few potential issues which are only found in adoption, purely because of the nature of it and contact is certainly one of them.  But, remember that SWs, books on adoption and the many other publications do tend to focus on the worse case scenarios - after all, it's the people who are having difficulties who need the help - and I really do believe it's a case of prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

Only you will know whether adoption is the right path for you but please don't be scared off too quick, take your time, read lots and come on here whenever you need an ear or shoulder - you won't 'drag us down' it's what we're here for  - to help and support each other!  

Sorry - I've waffled on for ages! Am sending you big, big   and remember we're here for you any time
Lots of love
Sarah
xxx
p.s. Hello to everyone else - hope you're all ok and looking forward to the weekend


----------



## Spaykay

I'm as sick as a dog so just a quick   to my virgin friends. Off to England for a week so I hope you all have a good week and I'll catch up when you get back.  

Kay xxx


----------



## Tibbelt

Bring some sunshine   with you honey!  It's horrid weather here!   Have a safe journey and a lovely trip - are you visiting family / friends?

Mr Cheese - hope you and Mrs Cheese are feeling better?  

Crusoe - how's HS going honey? Hope it's going well   Do you have a date for panel yet? 

Karen - how are you feeling my lovely? Hope you're feeling a bit better  

CathE - how yuo doing honey? hope all is well    

 to everyone else - hope you're all ok!

I've got my sister and 2 of my nephews coming to stay this weekend   Always love having them here! We're going to the science museum tomorrow mornig (youngest nephew's choice, he's 6) and then to lunch in china town (my sister and my choice! ) and then to the National Gallery in the afternoon (my eldest nephew's choice, he's 8 - they've been doing about artists at school!). On Sunday DH is going to take the boys to the skate park so my sis and I can lig a bit and then I'm going to do a big roast!
Just hope the weather improves - it's been horrid today!

Hope you all have something lovey planned for the weekend too!
lots of love &  
Sarah
xxx


----------



## redpepper

Hi 

Hope you don't mind me joining!  I'm an adoption virgin too.  Me and my DH sent off the adoption papers at mid-Feb and had our initial home visit two weeks ago.  Our application to adopt has been accepted and we are awaiting our home study/assessment which should May - June time.  Just wanted to join the boards to get some positive support rather than worrying myself with the "worst case scenarios" all the time!  

x


----------



## crusoe

Just wanted to say "hi" to Redpepper - I'm a "worst case scenario" type of person too so you are not alone! Great news that your application has been accepted - roll on May / June so you can start the next bit! Will you have a prep course before that? Our LA has 2 courses prior to H/S but it seems to me as if the process varies a lot from place to place.

We had our first h/s session this week which went really well. Our s/w was lovely so we are feeling quite positive at the moment.

Spaykay - Hola! Be sure to bring some Spanish sunshine with you. The only thing I miss about my IVF days is popping over to Spain where I had all my treatments for a dose of sunshine!

Sarah - sounds like you have one busy weekend ahead of you - enjoy!

Love to all the other adoption virgins - we have homework to do so better get back to it!

Love Crusoe
xx


----------



## Spaykay

Welcome redpepper

Crusoe and Sarah I hope to bring some sunshine as going to one of my best mates weddings. I'm usually good at bringing the sun against all odds so fingers crossed!   I fly in tomorrow...so get your tshirts out!  

Kay xxx


----------



## crusoe

Kay - it has rained all day where I am!!!!! 










c x


----------



## Tibbelt

Kay - I take it you meant liquid sunshine!!!   been raining all day here too!!

Hope you had a safe journey over and that the wedding goes well - when is it? I do love a good wedding!  

Crusoe - so glad HS has got off to a good start! Here's some good luck vibes for the rest    

Redpepper - Welcome on board!   

Mr Cheese - hope oyu hada  good weeked and Mrs Cheese too  

 to everyone else - hope you had a good weekend.

sorry just a short post from me - got 2 little boys to get bathed and put to bed!   It's been a great weekend having them here   

Enjoy your evenings
lots of love
Sarah
xxx


----------



## Boomy

Hmmm... very quiet around here today. 
My SW will be here in one hour.... I'm very nervous....







Can't believe the moment has finally arrived.

Big hugs to all the Virgins...








Love Boomy xx


----------



## Tibbelt

Hello all! hope you're having a good week!  

Boomy - how did your meeting go? Hope it went well - it's so exciting to get started isn't it!!   I can't work out the time difference - so either you're not fastasleep or else you're in your appointment! Sending you tons and tons of    

Sorry for short post - manic day at work!   
Lots of love to all
Sarah
xxx


----------



## yonny

Hi guys
sorry Ive been AWOL for so long but as Im having another go at tx in April I feel a bit of a fraud being here!!!! 
I am following your stories with interest and I will post on the odd occassion but Im sure you understand - Im finding it hard to give up the idea of tx so Ill give it one more go and then see how I feel!!
Take care
Bye for now
Yonny x


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Well the ball is well and truely rolling for us now...

The Scoial Worker did her first assessment day with us and it was interesting, it was like talking to one of our friends, just needed to keep to facts though, lol
Thats me waffling again.

How is everybody else doing

Cheese xx


----------



## Boomy

Yonny - good luck with your tx hun.   

Cheese - Pleased your first assessment day went well.  

Our home visit yesterday went well too, the SW is lovely.  She explained the adoption process to us and left us with a pile of forms to fill out for medical and police checks etc.  She was here for over 2 hours, so it was a lot of information to take in.  I'll be honest, after she left, I did feel a bit down.  I kept thinking "God I wish that tx had worked for us and we didn't have to go through all this".    The whole process at the moment just feels so daunting, but I'm sure once we have got the forms completed, and attended the seminars, I will start feeling more positive.  She said that in NZ there are 200 couples in the pool at the moment, and last year there were 87 adoptions.  

My sis rang last night to see how everything went.  I had a big bawl to her.    She never had kids, so really understands what I'm going through.  She had 2 eptopic pgs, and she could never afford to do IVF.  It's good that we have each other.    

DH and I are going to sit down this weekend, and make a start on the forms.  Then I'd better make an appt with the GP for the medical checks.

xx


----------



## Tibbelt

Hello all! Well this will just be a quick post from me, am shattered as am working silly hours at the moment - big project due to go live next week so it's the last frantic final bits we're trying to get finished!  

Just wanted to say well done to you Mr Cheese (and Mrs Cheese of course!) for getting your first appointment done   and great to hear that your SW is easy to talk to - that makes the whole process so much less painful!   Have you set the dates for the rest of your HS meetings? Wishing you lots of luck for all of them  

Boomy - Well done to you too!   - the first appointment is the scariest (I know I even paid for a team of cleaners to come and sort out our house!!!    ) but it does get easier I promise - and don't worry it's perfectly normal to have the odd 'why us' or bit of a wobble   We've had a couple and I'm sure there will be more - let's face it none of us planned having to go through all this when we decided we wanted children! But I truly belive that this whole process will make us all great parents and that we're lucky to have this time to learn and appreciate the families we will have   Keep your eye on the prize as it were and hang on in there! (and anytime you feel a bit wobbly - remember we're all here! Group hug     )

Yonny - lurk all you want honey and keep in touch, sending you lots and lots of   for April xx

Night night all (I know - I'm a light weight but need my Zzzzzz's!)
Lots of love
Sarah
xxx


----------



## Boomy

Thanks Sarah, you are right. This road is not going to be easy, and things will come up that will try and test us. But if we just take one step at a time, then hopefully the process will not feel so daunting. Thanks hunny.

    ​
xx


----------



## Tibbelt

Don't worry honey - the one great thing about this journey is that we don't have to travel the road alone  And every single step, be it a tiny tentative one or a giant leap, takes us nearer to our dreams come true  

Take care honey and remember we're here any time!
really amn going to bed now.. my eyes are crossing!!!  
Night night 
Sarah
xxx


----------



## KTP71

Morning girls hope everyone is ok.  Cant believe it we have finished our prep course    Finished yesterday and then went out for a drink as a group plus social workers so it was a good finish and I think it is such a strong bond we have formed that we can support each other through the process.  We were told we should hear back from LA by mid to end of April about home study and allocation of sw and this should start by end of May at the latest which is quicker than I thought.

The weather is miserable here so probably will stay in today!  

Love to you all


----------



## Camly

hi fellow virgins!  

sorry i havent been on for a while - lots of family/friends problems just now so trying to help everyone out.

hello to anyone i havent yet 'met'. welcome  

no update from us......still waiting to hear if and when we move onto home study. thats been about 5 weeks now since the SW came out for the initial visit. i have emailed twice and also phoned but still no reply. i know things with adoption go slooooooooow but didnt think it would be this sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwww......

hope everyone has a lovely easter weekend and dont eat too many choccy eggs   

lots of love camly xxxx


----------



## Boomy

​*TO ALL THE VIRGINS​
Love Boomy xx






*


----------



## Tibbelt

And Happy Easter from me too! 
(sorry - I can't do the flash pics that boomy can do!)

[fly]        [/fly]

Enjoy all those gorgeous scrummy eater eggs! DH has also bought me the Ratatouille dvd (I know I'm a big kid at heart!) so am planning on veggin out and watching that!!

Lots of love to all
Sarah
xxx


----------



## Tarango

hello fellow Virgins!!

sorry for the lack of personals but have just got back from skiing (at stupid o'clock this morning) and thought I'd pop on whilst the old washer was going ... there's always a downside to holidays!!

just wanted to say hi and have a great weekend - oh yes and also no news from SS yet!


love
T
xx


----------



## crusoe

Hi Virgins

Hope you all had a great chocolate filled easter. Mine was miserable - I've had flu and spend almost all of the last week in bed - just my luck!!! I did struggle out for another good mtg with our s/w last week though. She hs left us with a few little bits of homework nothing major though other than trying to track down my ex-husband which I don't relish!

Hope you are all doing ok - sorry you are finding things slow Camly - I think it's just the nature of this game and try as you might it can't be rushed. The trick is to try and put all the "down time" to good use!

Love to all
Crusoe
xx


----------



## Camly

evening all

hope everyone is well and not eaten too many easter eggs! i have joined weightwatchers again today so thats the end of my time with lots of chocolate, etc etc.   i am a bridesmaid for my best friend in july so gotta STOP EATING!!  

spoke to someone at Sw today and she said my medical form has been recd back from their medical adviser and passed to the head sw. she was off today but hopefully should be in touch this week so fingers crossed....  i am also slightly concerned cause i have since had another smear at the start of march - i had to get an early medical due to abnormal smears for the last year and a half - so the results came back over the weekend - still abnormal and i might need more treatment   never.ending! so im hoping that wont jeopardise us proceeding... ever get the feeling that its not all going to go accordingly?  i cant shake the feeling that something is going to happen and it will mean we cant adopt?!?   as i say, hope im wrong.

anyone else any further forward with their plans?  

hope your all well.

lots of love camly x x x x 

ps sorry for putting a dampener on anyones day.


----------



## Boomy

Camly hun, of course you haven't put a damper on anyone's day by posting what you feel. We are all here for each other.   I know where you are coming from. I'm waiting for something to go wrong with this process too.  I think after years of disappointments during fertility tx, I have just started to expect that the worst will happen.  I don't want to get my hopes up, as in NZ there are a number of couples who have been in the pool for years and have not been selected to adopt a baby. It is really just a lucky dip by the sounds of it. 

We have filled out all our forms finally. Just need to ring the GP to see if he wants to see us, or if he can fill out his mountain of forms on us by himself. 

Boomy xx


----------



## Camly

hiya boomy

thanks for your nice message. 

glad you managed to fill out your forms. once less thing to be done!    fingers crossed the dr doesnt need to see you either, not that its horrible or anything, just saves you any hassle.

thanks again for your msg.

night night 

lots of love camly x x x


Hi to all other virgins


----------



## Spaykay

Oh Camly  that those bloomin smears don't cause any probs for you...it's such a heart wrenching time 

Yonny - I also have 1 sneaky DE cycle left in the next few months but have started the adoption process as I really hold out no hopes...and am even wondering if I want that now as I have already started picturing my little Ethiopian beauty (as has my mum!!! saw a white couple with white and black baby in south Africa and her heart grew so much she says I *have * to adopt an Ethipian baby now coz she'd in love )

My Gran died today  so I'll be off to England again soon...don't seem to be catching up with you all!

 to everyone!

Kay xxx


----------



## Camly

hi kay

sorry to hear the sad news of your gran.  my thoughts are with you. at least she isnt in pain.

take care sweetie x x x


----------



## Boomy

Kay - I'm so sorry about your Gran hun.      We're all thinking of you.   

xx


----------



## NuttyJo

spaykay, sorry about your gran

sorry for lack of personals and sorry ive been awol for a while, havnt been feeling too great and am now getting nervous as we have our skills to foster course this weekend and im cr&pping myself!! i hate speaking to people i dont know and always go bright red     

hope you're all ok


----------



## Tarango

hello virgins!

hope everyone is ok,

Camly, sorry to hear about your smear, sending you lots of      

Kay, sorry to hear about your gran   

and Jo -     for your course


we had news today that we are on the april prep course          

feeling very excied and nervouse and excited

love
T
xx


----------



## Spaykay

T - great news on the prep course hun! Next month WAHEY!

When I wrote early that my mum had seen a black and white baby I meant 1 white and 1 black - not a stripey individual baby obviously!  

Hope you're all well

Kay xxx


----------



## Camly

hiya

how are you all? happy friday!  

recd an email today from ss to say that they are sending us out an application form - assume we fill this in and then return it and see about home study? does anyone know the answer to that one? they said that i would need to be reviewed in a years time for my smear problems..... dont know what meant by that? i was hoping that in a years time (from now) we would be well on way to have been approved etc  now im all confused......

hope everyone else is well.  x x


----------



## Spaykay

Camly - goodie, glad you got the papers, no ideas on what you need to do though  

Kay xxx


----------



## Camly

thanks kay

dont know if i should be excited? or if its a case off we wont be able to move on til after the 12 months til i get another check up?  sorry, i know you wont have the answers, just sounding out...

hope your well. x x


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Camly said:


> hiya
> 
> how are you all? happy friday!
> 
> recd an email today from ss to say that they are sending us out an application form - assume we fill this in and then return it and see about home study? does anyone know the answer to that one? they said that i would need to be reviewed in a years time for my smear problems..... dont know what meant by that? i was hoping that in a years time (from now) we would be well on way to have been approved etc now im all confused......
> 
> hope everyone else is well. x x


Hi ya,

We filled our form in and sent back and then within 2 weeks we had our first meeting, filling in more forms with the SW, the ball well and truely gets rolling after that.
I think if they thought you had a health issue they would have looked into in now.

You will be fine i recon

Hope that helps

Cheese


----------



## Spaykay

OOoooooo Camly - that sounds exciting then! It's so slow over here   Been over 2 weeks I reckon sinced we handed the papers in... and I know we still have a least a month b4 any calls. However, I reckon DH and I should ring around agencies to get some ideas about countries...we are quite set on Ethiopia but just want to make sure.

Bless him...tonight he said "I know it's just a cultural thing but I'm glad I know that I could have a baby with another woman if I wanted, coz my sperm is okay with another woman's eggs through IVF...but I only want to have one with you."   Sounds a bit off but I thought it was sweet coz he's never opened up like that b4...and I just told him that it's coz he's a man that he needs to think like that, nothing cultural   (sorry cheesy!)

Kay xxx


----------



## Boomy

Camly - Hi hunny.  Thanks again for the PM.  As for your question regarding the forms, I'm sure Cheese is right and there are no issues, but if you are worried why don't you ring your SW and double check everything with her.  Mine has been absolutely wonderful, and said if we have any worries or questions, not to hesitate making contact.  It might put your mind at rest.   

xx


----------



## Debs

At long last ive made it here    

I did post a few weeks ago - but have been so busy I just havent had time to get on here.  So if its ok - id like to stay put now i am here   

Just a bit about me and where we are in our journey.  Well we basically sent in our initial request form and we have attended an adoption evening - however they have written to us to advise that due to a sucessful advertising campaign they wont be able to allocate a sw to us for at least 4 weeks  .  However that was a couple of weeks ago now so fingers crossed it wont be too long.  The only other   factor is that the prep courses are now full till October ...... and seeing as they told us that at the info evening I guess that could even be full now  

Anyways - im not getting too miserable about the waiting - it will hopefully all be worth it  

Sorry no personals this time - thought id bore you all about me     But I have been reading about your journeys and really do wish you all the best   

Love

Debs xxx


----------



## Camly

Morning

Cheese - thanks for that.   it seems every SS has a diff procedure eh?  i will keep you posted.

Kay - that was very sweet of your DH saying that.  Its nice when they surprise you!!  

Boomy - thank you too! we havent actually got our own SW yet? so I am having to go from pillar to post to try and speak to someone who knows whats happening with our case. fingers crossed next week should bring some answers.....

Debs - welcome   you never know, they might put more prep groups on if there is alot of interest?  hope the time flies by for you both. 

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend.  We have a party tonight so looking forward to that.


lots of love camly x x x


----------



## Spaykay

Debs - welcome! 

Just rememebered I 've done nothing to my diary...but then nothing has happened to me!

Kay xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Oooooo Boomy - just read you're getting married in October, how lovely, sounds very romantic!








CONGRATULATIONS! 

Kay xxx


----------



## daisyboo

Hi everyone,
Still remeber me  i'm really sorry i have been AWOL since the 3rd March  well as soon as i finished my last post on the 3rd i fell down the stairs  and really bashed my left arm left me unable to drive for a week, didn't break anything (thankgod) then on the 5th my dad had a heart attack  we just waiting now for him to go and have a heart bypass, all this in the middle of our prep course,
Well the course went well and i'm glad to say i enjoyed it, it was very informative to us,
We have been allocated a diff SW which we are chuffed about as we found the 1st one to be quite forgetful and Dippy, but our SW now is the lady who did our Prep course and she is fantastic someone you can have a laugh with so we are areally hopeful she is popping around on Wed to discuss the Home study so we can get started, we ahve had our medicals done which Social services have picked up the tab  and our CRB checks are complete so we good to go,
Sorry it's a me post will try to get back in the stride of things and catch up with you all as there are loads of us now,
Love to all      
Daisyboo


----------



## Tibbelt

Just a v.v. quick note from me - didn't want you to think I'd forgotten about you all!   

Work is still manic (my project went live on Thursday... and work still hasn't settled down, am even working all weekend, just got home and I have to be back at 4.30 tomorrow morning... and I've just remembered the clocks go forward tonight! arghhh!!!    

oh well, no rest for the wicked I guess! 
I'll be back proper some time next week I hope, until then look after yourselves and enjoy the weekend!

Lots of love
Sarah
xxxx


----------



## Spaykay

Daisyboo hi there!







I'm really sorry about your dad  and hope the bypass is soon and makes him well again. How's your arm feeling? Glad the course went well.

Hi Sarah - not forgotten you!

Kay xxx


----------



## Boomy

Debs - Hi hun. Welcome to the group. I hope Camly is right and they do add some more prep groups for you. Seems an awful long wait.... and I hate waiting!   

Camly - Sorry hun. I didn't realise you weren't assigned your own SW yet.  We have had ours pretty much since we made the first phone call enquiring about adoption... might be the first difference between adoption in the UK and NZ.  Anyway try and find out more info from whoever you can hun. It does help put the old mind at rest. 

Kay - Thanks chick. Yes we are getting married in October. Here is a link to a resort in Waiheke Island, where I think we will tie the knot. Looks pretty romantic don't you think. http://www.palmbeachbungalows.com/ It's going to be just me and DH (sorry I still call him that but we've been together sooooo long that that is what he is to me ) and I can't wait.   

Daisyboo - Aw hunny, you've had a rough time of it lately. Sending you some cyber hugs and bubbles from NZ...   

Love Boomy xx

/links


----------



## Camly

morning all

daisy - sorry to hear your having a bad time lately. get well soon and hope your dad is doing ok.  

boomy - no problem about thinking we had a SW, think everywhere does it differently.  looked at your link - it looks awesome. we married in las vegas, just the 2 of us and it was fab!! 

sarah - hope you manage to catch up with your sleep and your lost hour.  

hope everyone else is well.  x x x


----------



## Spaykay

OMG Sarah it looks lush! (how old is that word! Sorry...I meant it lood beautiful and so romantic!) Can I be bridesmaid and DH the page boy? We can stay in the hut next door. It looks a bit like a green hawaii! You gonna dress in a grass skirt?

Kay xxx


----------



## daisyboo

Hi there, thanks for all your kind words 
Can i be bridemaid to pleassssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee , i'm a bit old for the frilly stuff, but i'm up for anything ,
My arm is ok now but i still can't lift anything to heavy, we have our new SW coming Wednesday to hopefully start Home Study  don't feel to bad about it now as she is lovely so fingers crossed we start the ball rolling, DH is worried as we have so much to do in the house he thinks we will have a little one running around at Xmas   ,
We have just ripped the bathroom out (and i mean ripped out) down to bare brick hope the SW has a sense of humour , after that we have the stairs to do we need it done as there is no bannister or hand rail (hence the reason i fell) but it did take 10mths to do it  thats how long we been here, then we have the spare room to decorate, oh i can't wait to do that bit,
My dear Dad is ok but i dread when he goes for the bypass as my mum gets really unbearable whenever my dad goes in Hos, we fell out big time over his heart attack, we are just about speaking now but i dread it when he has to go in again , 
I've been feeling that lost hour too,god was i Kn  ackered when i woke up early night tonight me thinks   
Chat soon Ladies off to B&Q to buy some taps (how terribly exciting)

PS Keep this quiet i'm a bit strange but is anyone else looking through baby brochures etc at toys and nursery's etc i can't keep my nose out of them at the moment 
Love to all 
Daisyboo


----------



## Spaykay

Daisyboo - I bought a book for mine about 7 years ago!     And I consantly look on the pretence it's for school or friends! I do have baby outfit tucked away that my mum gave me when I was pg and am unsure what to do with it. Do I give it to my bro when (if) they get pg? Or store it away? Or bury it? Or float it out to see? Any ideas?

Kay xxx


----------



## Camly

hello 

daisy - glad your dad is feeling bit better. good luck with your mum when your daad goes back into hospital.   wish we could do some diy to our house - funds are limited!! my sual war cry.. 

kay - not sure what to suggest reg the outfit your mum gave you. maybe you should give it away and start afresh when you have your own baby/child??  

I phoned SW today and.................... they said there might be 2 options 1) go ahead as normal and go to panel (fingers crossed we get that far) but then we wouldnt be matched til all ok with my smears or 2) not to go panel until all ok with smears. either way its going to be a much longer process than first thought.  to be honest, i am right fed up today. its crossed my mind to say 'sod it' but i know that would be the end of us having a family.  

sorry for depressing you all but feeling pretty  


x x x


----------



## Spaykay

Camly - you didn't depress us hun, we're here for you so please let out any feelings!   Not sure which way would be best, I'd probably get smears over and done with 1st so I entered the process with a clear mind and target but then you have to do what makes you feel best. Don't give up though. We will have 3 years but that's not so long considering the other option of the rest of our lives. We're here for you love.  

Kay xxx


----------



## Camly

thanks kay


----------



## Boomy

Camly - O hun, things are never easy are they?  You poor thing.  Don't give up on your dream, it is just going to take a little longer than you expected.  You will get there in the end hunny.     (Wish I was there to give you some real hugs).

I would probably go as far as I could in the adoption process and then at least all that would be completed once your smears are cleared.  If you keep moving forward, it may help.  How long did you say you had to wait until your next smear?

Take care sweety,
Boomy xx


----------



## Boomy

Kay - I've got a room full of baby clothes, toys, nappies, blankets, etc etc etc, even the cot.      I'm keeping all of it until I get my family.        

No, I'm not some crazy women obsessed with getting a baby.     I made it to 18 weeks in my only pg, so had bought up and been given a lot of baby stuff.  It will all come in handy one day.  

xx


----------



## Camly

hi boomy

thank you too for your msg.  

i had another smear on 5th march and got a letter to say there was still cell changes so i have to go back sooner - prob within the next month for maybe more treatment. the drs have never said its cancer or anything serious. i know my own dr sent a report to the SW dr so i can ask him what he put in in when i see him.  

i just feel really down cause i thought that a year from now, we would be 'waiting' for a family. how wrong was i?!?!?  feel like time is going on and on. when i spoke to SW today, she said 'at least your still young so the delay wont do any harm age wise'? im 30 but a year is a long time when you have been wanting somethine for so long. sorry ladies, i know we are all in the same boat - some of you have been through more than me    

thanks again boomy and you too kay x x x


----------



## Boomy

Camly - I understand where you are coming from regarding time ticking away. I think we all do.  I was around 32/33 when I miscarried our baby at 18 wks. It was so hard after that to get back on the tx horse. I kept thinking I should have started my family by now and if I had to have more 'time consuming' tx, I would be old before I ever had kids. Hey, I'll be 37 this year and still no babies.  But I'm not giving up. 

I know it's hard to hear, but your SW is right, you are still young hunny. Just focus on the goal ahead and before you know it, you will be holding your child in your arms.

Don't be sorry about voicing what you feel. We've probably all been there, felt that. I know it's hard.

Big hugs    
xx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Camly,
Just wanted to echo what Boomy said really. My journey was 9 years through treatment to finally bringing our baby home when I was 41! I know it is little comfort at the moment but age really is on your side, 30 is very young in adoption terms. Good luck with your own journey, the beauty of this site is that we all do understand where your coming from because we have all been there.
Love JD x


----------



## Spaykay

Camly hun   I wish someone could just give us all a glimpse into the future...I wouldn't mind the wait if only I knew where it would end! Hope it's not causing you too much pain, the worry.   I am 33 (34 in July) and had my mc at 28 before going through 5 years of tx...but I feel lucky to have started that young and be the age I am. 30 is a great age hun  

Kay xxx


----------



## Camly

hi all 

first of all.......           kay, boomy & JD thank you thank you thank you.

you have all made me feel warm inside, so thank you.  hopefully we will have have our chance sometime soon.  so thanks again.

lots of love camly x x x x


----------



## HFI

Hi girls

Can I join your thread please  

I've been looking at the adoption boards for awhile now but they are so BIG.  This one is relatively small compared to the others and besides I am an adoption virgin!

Bit of background on me - I started IVF / ICSI a few years ago as I had my tubes removed due to endometriosis.  I had 3 failed attempts at one clinic and then moved to another clinic in London.  My problems were always down to my endo and cysts but in London they discovered my ovarian reserve was low.  After a few weeks of high doses of drugs, I only produced 2 eggs and that was the end of my IVF journey.  It's difficult but in a way it does make the experience final.  If I was still producing eggs I'd probably still be having tx but at least the decision to continue was made for me.

So now we're on the adoption journey and pleased to say very excited about it although I do still have days when I'm feeling nervous and scared but I think that's natural.

I attended the Information Evening in January, was interviewed at home in February and have just been advised we'll be on the prep course at the beginning of May.  I've noticed many of you have already been on the prep course so I'm hoping you'll be able to help me prepare!  

It will be great to get to know you all and experience this journey with others going through the same highs and lows.  I can't believe I'm finally on the road to hopefully having a family  

I hope you are all ok.  Hopefully I'll get some time to read through more of the posts and get to know you all a bit better.

Take care and speak soon.

H x


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Hi HFI,

We went down similar roads than yourself, and i must say the Adoption process has brought a positive feel throughout our house and even the family.
At least with the Adoption route you can have some say and things are not totally out of your hands.

We are now on our 4 interview and so far it has been very positive for us, which is what you need after all the heartache of fertility treatment

Welcome aboard 

Cheese


----------



## Betty B

Hi Fellow Adoption Virgins

I too am new to all this and have been reading these threads for a few weeks now but have only posted today  

I have history of severe endo which resulted in losing my ovaries in Dec 2000 after DE treatment resulting in 1 bio chem preg and 2 BFN's we have decided to move onto adoption and so far it is more positive.  We attended our prep course in Mar08 and have submitted our application so waiting on the next step.

I live in N Ireland so it is a bit different from the mainland possibly a bit slower but not sure.

The prep course had definitely made me think about more things than I had been ie could I cope with more than 1 child (I am an only child) would it be better to go through the process once rather than twice etc It is all a bit scary but we are excited about our new journey.

Looking forward to hearing everyones stories and sharing my own on this thread  


SB


----------



## crusoe

Hi Virgins

How are you all?

Georgie B – Welcome!!! Having been down the IVF / DE route too, I agree with you that the adoption process feels loads more positive. It does all take time but at least you feel you are moving in the right direction, with IVF I only ever found myself back to square one all the time!
Looking forward to getting to know you better and to following your journey (hope it’s a short one!)  

Welcome to HFI too!! Great to see some other newbies here too  as I’m quite new myself.
Good luck with your prep course in May. We really enjoyed ours which was good as our LA actually run two. Once is an intro to adoption and the second is more detailed and starts you looking at some of the homestudy work. We think we have made some real friends from our courses and it is so good to talk to people in the same situation as yourself. 
Just seen you are in Herts! Are you adopting via them if so you might find you have 2 prep courses too?!

Camly – sorry you are feeling down – the waiting game is just horrible. As others have said you are young (I am 39) but I know being young doesn’t help when you just want to get on and have your family. All I can suggest is that use this time to do the things you won’t be able to do so easily when you have your children. Visit places you want to go, take up a hobby you won’t have time for, decorate your house, clear out your cupboards, organise all your photos – all those jobs you never get around too. Keeping busy does help pass time … sorry I hope that doesn’t sound trite!
I hope you get some good news when you go back for more tests / treatment.   

SpayKay – how are you – sorry to read about your Gran. Hugs to you      

Boomy – congratulations on your forthcoming wedding!!!    

We have just had our 3rd home study visit and so far so good – I have to confess to quite enjoying the process. My husband says it’s cos I like talking about myself so much!
We have just decorated our spare room (hopefully to be our child’s room) just a neutral colour so we can jazz it up for a boy or girl and make it age appropriate. I hope I’m not getting carried away with myself but feeling positive at the moment so we are making the most of it!

Love and luck to you all – including those I haven’t mentioned personally – Daisyboo, Sarah, Jo, Tarango, Cheese and Mrs Cheese and anyone I have forgotten.

Crusoe  
xxx


----------



## daisyboo

Hi Everyone, 

SB The prep course opened up my eyes to, it made me think about things i'd never even thought of i think they are really worth it, Welcome to the Virgins  

Mr cheese 4th visit already old hat at it then  i'm glad you are up beat about it and finding it a positive experiance, hope it hasn't been to emotional

H Hello   you have nothing to fear from the prep course,good luck and welcome to the thread

Calmy (need to put my twp pennith wrth in)  you have to do what feels right personally i would go as far as i could with the adoption process and then when you get the all clear from GP you can go to the next level, i'm the same i wanted to be a young mum 25 but i didn't marry until 26 then waited 2 years until we went to GP now i'm 31 (ouch) i feel i'm getting old  i even doubt shopping in New look now  

Oh god there are so many of us now hello to allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll 

Well had SW visit today so Home Study officialy started, she gave us some homework to do until her next visit which is 2 weeks away  but she did frighten us and say she is a no nonsense SW she doesn't like hanging around she likes to get things done and if she feels we arn't right she will tell us  and she said if no problems arise we could of done our homestudy in 10weeks      
I will hold her to that , well i'm on cloud 9 now so please nobody push me off for at least a day or 2   , well we have a date for my dads op it's the 20th of this month  so i need to concentrate on him for a while 
Chat soon all 
Love Daisyboo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS Hello Crusoe i can't wait to decorate my back room SW asked today what we wanted, i said in an ideal worls 2 little boys she said can i have a look at the bedroom then she came up and started mapping out where the bunk beds could go  think i will take some of your advice and have a bit of a life laundry day so many cupboards need clearing,


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

H - pleased to see you posting here....following your journey  

SB - welcome to the Adoption board, good luck with your journey.

Everyone else....hello and lots of luck whatever stage you are at  

Laine xx


----------



## Tarango

Hello Virgins old and new  

it's nice to see some newbies coming out of lurkdom and joining the 'circle'  

Camly,     

don't really have much to say about 'us' yet, just getting excited as we get closer to prep day    can't believe we will be on the A road soon!! whoo-hooo!!

Big hello to everyone, sorry for no personals, packed lunches are calling    

lots of love and  

love
T
xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Welcome to SB and H...pleased to meet you.

Lovely to hear that everyone's home visits are going well.

I've just had news of a friend being pg...again...(her and he DH, my Dh's friend hadn't even met when we started and are now on no.2) Does it ever stop hurting? I think I'm over it and then BOOM! I don't think it's the fact she's pg I think it's just the fact that she can just have a kid whenever she wants one and I have to wait at least 3 years on top of the already 5 and that's with no guarentee. I know 8 years us short for others but it still hurts...I'd love to just take a break but it's something we can't take a break from isn't it!

Sorry peeps, 

Kay xxx


----------



## Boomy

Quick post from me too, but just really wanted to welcome HFI and GeorgieB to our little home.   

Kay - No it never does stop hurting I don't think. Big hugs to you hunny.   It now actually seems amazing to me that people can get pg so easily, when I have struggled so long to make it happen.  It must be so nice to just decide to have another child and find yourself pg within months! 

Love to all the virgins,
Boomy xx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Kay,
Yes it's hard I had a friend who has 3 children say to me recently "I want a 4th I just need to persuade my husband!" I thought flipping ech love is that all you have to do to pop another one out! life eh it's a funny old thing. I hasten to add she doesn't know my situation at all so wasn't being thoughtless. It just yet again made me think blimey you haven't got the faintest idea what some of us go through to have a much wanted family!
Keep your chin up love JD x


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Hi Ladies

Want to pop on and say hi  to all the new "virgins"   

For those due to start prep all i will say is how you feel is how the other couples/people on prep will feel- our SW said day 1 of prep is like "rabbits caught in the head light" and i have to say i really enjoyed prep however was totally shattered after it!

Well our news is we start intro's 2 weeks tomorrow   (OMG thats come round quick! 6wk and 2days after hearing about them we will meet them!) 

I wont be about on FF for about 4weeks while things "settle" here so wanted to wish you all good luck for where your at in the process and can honestly say that adoption is the best thing we have ever done!

xxx


----------



## Boomy

MJ - I read your news on another thread and had been meaning to post and congratulate you and your DH. I am so happy for you. You must be over the moon. Good luck with everything hunny.








Boomy xx


----------



## crusoe

MJ

What great news - hope your intros go brilliantly!  
Thanks for saying that adoption is the best thing you have ever done - it is starting to feel that way for me too.  

Crusoe


----------



## Camly

evening all  

crusoe - thank you for your nice msg.  the stupid thing is, i have so much happening this year, that you would think it will fly by, but...... you know what its like - you get excited, the closer you think you are to something. got to go for more smear treatment on 7th may. which i suppose is quite a good sign, as they are obviously happy enough to let me wait 6 weeks before getting any treatment? im going to ask the consultant what he has put on the SW form and that might make me feel abit better too?  

daisy - im sure you can still get awy with shopping in NL!!    thanks again for your kind words too.

kay -       i know where you are coming from.  i dont know if it ever gets easier. me and my friend are bridesmaids for our friend this year and she was able to plan becoming pregnant so that she had the baby in plenty of time. it would be nice to plan pregnancy eh? try and keep your chin up.

welcome to all the new virgins. these girls rock!!! oh and Mr Cheese  

sorry to those who i havent mentioned, about to run out the house to go to a friends for some wine!!  

have a nice night everyone x x x


----------



## Tibbelt

Hello all!

Phew - it's so nice to finally have a bit of time to catch up! Work is still manic (I started at 5am this morning and that was a lie in!!   ) still, you know what they say - no rest for the wicked eh?!  

 and welcome to all the new virgins! This is a great thread so I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!  

Camly - how are you doing honey? I totally understand about the problems with the smears - I had just the same thing a few years back   I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, hang on in there honey, am sending you lots and lots of   I know a few girls on here have said the same but for what it's worth I'd keep going with the adoption path, it's a good focus and I'm sure there's nothing to stop you going through HS etc... I'm sure your SW would have said if they thought you needed to wait... sorry that's all rather garbled!   and I haven't even had a glass of wine yet (am about to though!! cheers!  )

Boomy - oh you lucky thing getting married  ! We demand to see pics! I sooooo loved our wedding, I want to do it all again!!  

Mr (and Mrs) Cheese - glad to hear homestudy is going well and that you're surviving the homework! Have they mentioned a date for panel yet? Sounds like it won't be far off  

Crusoe - How's life on   honey? Glad to hear HS is going well honey and great news re your Dad's op (my Dad's not well either so I totally understand about the worrying!   ) - hope all goe well   How exciting to be decorating   - I must admit that we're finishing off the last few jobs around the house, aiming to be done by end May-ish so then we can just sort out the room after panel (I daren't do it before, too scared to tempt fate.. I'm a big wuss!!  )

Daisyboo - how wonderful to be talking about where to put bunkbeds!!   Hope all is well with you.

Kay - Oh honey, don't worry - we all have those feelings, it's perfectly normal   Someone once described IF as having a red baloon tied to you on a bit length of string - sometimes that balloon is right in front of your face and you can't see past it, other times it's way up in the sky and you can't really see it... but it's always there. I think it's true and it's an analogy which works for me.. push you balloon away honey, you're going to be a brilliant mummy   and your little one is out there waiting for you  

Tarango - time is ticking away honey, prep course will be here before you know it! Hang on in there  

Jilldill - your post made me smile honey   If only these ladies knew how easy they have it eh?! Still at least we dont have to give up the vino and won't get any stretch marks!  

Hello to anyone I've missed - hope oyu're all ok and having a good week!

All's fine here (apart from exhaustion!    ) - seeing our SW tomorrow for our 6th (I think) HS session... am really quite enjoying it and each one is another step towards panel   Then going to have a lazy weekend (well apart from doing our homework of course!    )
Lots of love to all
Sarah
xxxx


----------



## Spaykay

WOW Sarah on your mega post...I can't beat that so I ditto everything she said!  

Thanks to everyone who calmed me on my panick day! I've given that red balloon a little nudge out the way and am contemplating phoning my friend and congratulating her! May not though   Don't know how understanding and subtle she'll be...maybe I'll pop into chat and do it whilst in there!

MJ great news hun, WOW you must be so excited!

My back hurts now so gonna pop off and hunt for food.

Kay xxx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Hi ya,

Tibbelt our SW is really getting us through it, she told me the other week we were the most positive and prepared couple she has had for a long time, which was nice to know although we have put our heart and souls into this like many others do.

She has told us all being well we could well be going to panel in July, thats pending these medicals which is looking like mine is going to drag out.

We asked the SW how long ago we made contact with SS as we were not 100% sure and it was 18 months ago, how time has flown by

How are things with you Spaykay.

How are the rest of the Virgins on board


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Can I join the virgin group.. I have literally only filled out the enquiry form for them to phone me and chat about adoption but that is a big step for me as means leaving the treatment side of things totally behind .. I feel really positive about moving forward and would like to come on here more to read your stories .. It's great to hear you are getting on so well CC ..fingers crossed for panel in July     

And   to everyone else for whereever they are at       

Cat x


----------



## Tibbelt

Mr Cheese - oh WOW! July - looks like we might be panel buddies! we're due at panel on the 1st. Give those docs plenty   tomorrow, am keeping everything crossed for you that they get their act together!  

Welcome wouldloveababycat (does that mean we can call you kitten?   ) - wishing you all the best for your journey!

Lots of love to all
Sarah
xxx


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Ha ha well you can but it sounds a bit like a dodgy porn star   it must be really exciting thinking you are going to panel in July..            for you.
Cat x


----------



## Boomy

Tibbelt - I loved your analogy about the balloon, that is exactly what it is like isn't it?  It is always there.     I'm meeting up with a friend tonight who I haven't seen for awhile.  We used to be sooo close (like sisters), and now we hardly see each other and only talk on the phone once a month.  It's sad but I think that to a certain degree, IF has come between us.  She has kids and I don't and it feels now like we are worlds apart.  I miss her sometimes.  

Kay - Glad you've given that balloon a nudge hunny.  

Cat - Welcome to the thread hunny.  

xx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Cat, its nice to have you on board.
Time just flys by with the Adoption, well the process does and you really feel like you moving a head.
Mind you i am speaking for ourselves on this one.

Hows the house going, everything ok

Tibbelt ours will be the 1st July too so your right we can run along together.


----------



## Spaykay

Cat of course you can join us!   Isn't it exciting taking those 1st steps.

Cheesy Doesn't surprise me that you and Mrs Cheese were thought so highly of!   If Mrs Cheese feels up to it then it would be nice to see her on here, I know she posted a while back, send her a huge hug from me!

1st July T and Cheese...so glad to see you'll be celebrating my bday (34!) in style! I'll have a glass (bottle) of champagne for you.

Hi everyone!

Kay xxx


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Thanks for welcoming me ..its kind of you   (obviously not heard how nutty I am   ) 

Mr Cheese .. the house is slow going as I dislocated my knee at the end of Feb and its hindered progress somewhat ..although I did manage to strip one wall of wallpaper despite being on crutches lol ! I have also found bodged bits under the wallpaper that need sorting such as holes in the plasterboard   feel more like doing it now we are getting nicer weather    ..today has been lovely here.. my main problem is I can't decide on colours   .. and have spent a small fortune on tester pots ! I couldn't decide whether to do the spare room up as a kids room - I have half a small toy shop in my house ..from the countless years of nannying and god-children etc and part of me just wants to go mad on decorating it really bright jungle style ..I have some fab jungle curtains..the other part of me thinks .. stick to something grown up for now and then decorate to suit the child if I am lucky enough to get approved and let them have a part in it.. what do you all think ? My Nieces and godchildren would love it jungle style and they are going to be sleeping in it as a guest room to begin with probably more than any adults .. I have a sofa bed for the adults  

I havn't had a phone call yet from the adoption team but then I know the systems have been down at work so it probably hasn't gone through to them yet..I work for the authority that the adoption team is attached to.. so that is good in some ways and bad in others as you feel you are laying yourself bare to people you have to work alongside ..luckily not too closely at the moment !

It is really exciting reading all your stories I have only really just started dipping in but really want to wish you all lots and lots of luck        and     with everything you have going on no matter what stage you are at .. hope to get to know you all too ..but I am really bad with names so might take me a while !
Cat x


----------



## NuttyJo

hi

sorry ive been awol but things havnt been going too well after the initial fostering course. me and dh have had some arguements and im not living at home for the time being   

wishing you all lots of luck and i hope to be back with you all soon   

love jo x


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Sorry to hear that Jo  , hopefully things will settle quickly for you.

We dont half put ovrselves through some stress dont we  

Chin up!!


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Jo hunny ..


----------



## Camly

sorry to hear that jo.  keep in touch and take care of yourself x x x


----------



## pobby

hello everyone,
would you mind if I joined you??  we are hopefully starting concurrency soon. we had our final ivf last august and so are finally emerging from our "quarantine!" we went to an adoption open day in the autumn and SW is phoning me for a long chat on wednesday..unsure what this actually means...possibly just questions about our suitability? am really hoping we can get on prep course in the next few months!
would be lovely to get to know a few of you..FF has been so valuable and supportive to me over the years and i feel like a new journey is starting...hoping that we have a much better chance of having our long awaited family now that we are taking the adoption route!
Good luck to everyone
love Pobby xx


----------



## crusoe

Jo - huge hugs to you ...     I hope you can both take some time out to think and to talk. Hope you are back here soon.

Pobby - welcome!! Hope your chat on Wednesday goes well     - I'm sure it will. Like you I have found FF a fantastic source of support and I too feel as if a whole new, exciting and much more positive journey is starting for me.
Looking forward to getting to know you.

Hi to all the other virgins - must go my exciting weekend continues with a trip to the tip!! We have so much rubbish to get rid of it is going to take 2 trips!! Fun, Fun, Fun


----------



## Tibbelt

Jo honey, I'm so sorry to hear that you & DH are going through a rough time   hope you come out through the other side unscathed. You mention that it is since you went on the initial fostering course, these things are tough and if it was anything like our prep course then I'm not surprised if it has rattled you both, try to remember they give you the worse case scenarios - they're trying to see how determined you are  . Hang on in there honey and look after yourselves  

Mr Cheese - 1st July!!   Great that we can share the journey! Here's hoping that time flies by!! 

Pobby - welcome on board honey! Hope Weds goes well for you (if it's like our initial meeting then there's nothing to be nervous about, it's just a chat) Sending you some good luck vibes    

Cat - ok I won't call you kitten!     Sounds like you're working really hard on your house! I remember being in the middle of ours! Seemed endless   at the time but the pain was worth it  

Kay - my last post did turn into a b it of a mammoth one didn't it!   I can waffle for England!   Here's hoping we're all drinking champagne on your birthday!   

Camly - Hope you're feeling bit better honey   The wobbles are perfectly normal (just had one of my own - see below!  )

Boomy - glad you like the analogy, certainly has helped me from going too    Hope all's well with you

 to anyone I've missed - hope oyu're all having a great weekend.

Well it's pouring with rain here but I've been good and have been for a swim (at the pool, not in the rain!    ) and we saw our SW again yesterday - again the session went very well but she did look rather shocked (ok - well nearly fell off the sofa) when we said we were looking for a toddler (in an ideal world we'd like to stick to the younger age range as we want to have the pre-school years to really bond and become a family and to start and repair some of the potential damage our littlies previous experiences may have caused)... suddenly she was talking about our having to sell ourselves to other agencies, average wait time being 12-18 months etc. I totally understand that there aren't lots of children out there and that we have to be flexible and we are... just found it a little disheartening so had a little   this morning... but feeling better now and reminding myself that we are tested by the process every step of the way. Our little one (or ones) are out there and they will find us! Just got to get approved first   so one step at a time!  Sorry for the 'me' bit! 

Enjoy your weekend all
lots of love
Sarah
xxx


----------



## Katwoman

Hello all

I hope you don't mind me joining in. You seem to all be very friendly, patient people. Some of your journies have gone on so long! I am in the very early stages of thinking about adoption. Brief history is that DP and I have undergone 5 IVF treatments with no success (well one BFP which ended in early m/c). We are seriously thinking about what happens next and am getting in touch with LA for an info pack. However, in the meantime we have some questions which will help us to decide if this is the right step for us. If any of you have a few minutes to answer them it would be fantastic. Sorry if this is not the right place for them.
1. Would DP and I have to get married? Not that it would be a problem, just something we have never felt necessary to do.
2. When do people tell their children that they are adopted and does it sometimes happen "by accident"? The reason for this question is that my two nieces are of ages that they would understand that our child was not a biological child but they are not old enough for discretion! I'm sure this is something lots of people come across with no diffculty but would like to be certain it won't be  aproblem.
3. How intrusive is the process? I absolutely understand that they need to establish that we are suitable to look after children but we are rather terrified of people probing into our lives. Our history is rather complicated and there are a few skeletons in our closet. Nothing to do with our abilities to look afer children but we are worried that they would want to probe these.

Sorry for these questions. I am sure that the info pack will explain all but DP and I are talking about this a lot at the moment!

Thanks in advance. I hope you all get your dreams very soon.

Kat xx


----------



## Boomy

Jo - Aw hunny, I'm so sorry. Look after yourself, and you know where we are when you need us.  

Pobbly - Welcome to the group chick. You've had a long hard journey to get here by the look of your signature. I'm pleased you are feeling so positive about the adoption route. Good luck for Wednesday hun.  

Crusoe - Two trips to the tip?   Your DH really does spoil you, doesn't he?  

Tibbelt - Hope you're feeling better hunny.   You really do have a great attitude. 

Katwoman - Welcome hunny. I can't be much help with your questions as my DH and I are in the very early stages too, plus we live in NZ. Over here, we have just found out that it is best to be married because the child would be in both of your names (as opposed to one), and you are more likely to be picked by the birth mother. In NZ, there is mainly babies up for adoption, as older children are generally placed within their extended families. 
So far, to be honest, I have found the process quite intrusive... but hey if that is the requirement to finally start our family, I will grin and bear it.  Good luck with whatever you decide to do hun.  

Right off to cook DH a slap up breakkie, as he came home with flowers for me yesterday. Hasn't done that in years. 
xx


----------



## Katwoman

Thanks Boomy. Your DH sounds lovely! I hope the weather in NZ is good - it's snowing hard here. In April!!!! 
Kat xx


----------



## Tarango

good morning Virgins, 

did everyone manage to see the snow before it has melted? couldn't believe it when we woke up this morning to see snow    last night we were sat outside (wrapped up) under the patio heater with a glass of wine and then this morning...... snow!! 

Jo -sorry to hear your news, hopefully it will work out ok   

welcome new virgins!   

Tibbelt - how is the spring cleaning going?    for getting yours done, we keep finding other things to do!!

Kat - in reply to your questions - with the being married one- I can't remember if it has changed (seem to think it was on the cards) but I thought that only one half of an unmarried couple could legally adopt - but as I say I thinkit was either going to change or has already. Maybe if you Google it, you might get the right answer! Or I'm sure someone here would know for sure  
Your other question - adoption is so open nowadays, it's not like it was years ago that it was kept from the child. Social Services are very keen on openness and if the child was too young to understand in the beginning I think SS would be very keen on you being very open and letting junior know that they are special and adopted from the start. 
Good luck with whatever you decide 


we are getting more excited by the day (well I am DH is carrying on as normal  ).... tick tock - not long until our course starts

enjoy the rest of the weekend 
love
T
xxx


----------



## pobby

Hi everyone
Thankyou so much for my lovely welcome..it really does feel good to know I will get to know you all and we are in the same boat..I haven't had the chance to read through all the posts as yet and get to know everyone but I will as soon as I can...you all seem like a lovely friendly bunch.
Best of luck and    to all of you, whichever stage you are at!
talk soon
pobby xx

p.s the snow was fab today! I ran out in the garden to make a snowman   (I am 40!!) I said to DP, next time it snows like this hopefully we will have our own little 'un and he better get practising his woodwork so he can make him or her a sledge!!   x


----------



## Boomy

Wow, it hardly ever snows where we are in NZ. The last time it did, which was about 5 years ago was a true miracle. I was out there like a big kid too, Pobby.   

Enjoy the snow everyone...








Love Boomy xx


----------



## Tibbelt

Hello all!

Quick post from me as I'm at work but wanted to say Hi!

Boomy - I'll swap the cold and snow for your sun anytime! And yep - am feeling better thanks   thanks for saying that I've got a good attitude   I do have my wobbles but try to stay as positive as I can!!  

Pobby - glad you're enjoying the board! How's the snowman today? I drive through a big park on my way to work and, although the snow has gone, it was dotted with the remains of snowmen!!   

Kat - I'm not 100% sure but I know the law used to say that if you weren't married only 1 person in the couple used to adopt... but I've also got a feeling that's changed. Worth googling it or else go to adoptionuk.com and I'm sure you'll find the answer. We haven't found the process too intrusive at all, the SW will want to know everything (and I mean everything!   ) about you but that's understandable and if you bear that in mind it makes it less painful!!  Regarding 'telling' your child - to be honest they need to grow up knowing, it's much easier that way all round! Hope that helps  

Tarango - not long to go now!!!   Here's hoping the time flies by quickly for you.

Crusoe - hope you've finished your trips to the tip! It's a glam life isn't it!  Mind you - I have a pile of things I ought to take... my list of jobs to do is soooo long!  

Hello to Mr (and Mrs) Cheese, Kay, Jo, Cat and anyone I've missed - hope you're all ok!
Lots of love to all
Sarah
xxx


----------



## Camly

evening all

how are you all this monday?  no news with me....still waiting on the application form.....

hello to any new virgins i have not yet met.   

sarah - thankfully im not the only one who has wobbles!   glad your ok now tho.

take care and hopefully 'speak' to you all soon.  x x x


----------



## Boomy

Tibbelt - Our daylight saving ended last weekend, and the clocks went back.    I've put the winter sheets back on the bed, and last night I even had to throw another blanket on it as I woke up freezing.    So now the tables have turned, and you guys will be running around in shorts and t-shirts while I'm freezing my   off over here.  That'll learn me for bragging about our beautiful blue skies.   

Kay - What's the weather doing over in Spain?

Camly - hi hunny.  

xx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Hi Ladies and Cheese!

Mega quick post as totally shattered(been in a intro planning meeting plus another Sw meeting today for over 3hours and head is done in!)

Just wanted to say you dont have to be married to adopt however i think they do ask you "why" you havent married and your feelings on marrige- i know some of the HS has questions about what you would do about custody (and finances) of child/ren should you split up- this is said to married and non married people!

hope this helps
xxxx


----------



## NuttyJo

just to add about the marriage thing - they dont like you to apply to adopt if you have just been married - they like you to have an 'adjustment' period of 6-12mths before applying to adopt aparently. thats what my sw told me! 

p.s.. thanks for the hugs and kind words. really needed them


----------



## wouldloveababycat

It will be interesting to see what they say to me being single   but hey ready for a challenge..if I thought it was going to be easy I would be mad ..but worth the effort I say    

Cat x


----------



## NuttyJo

cat i dont think they have a problem with being single, just as long as you have a good support network around you. good luck hun


----------



## Camly

hi cat

at our prep group there was a single lady who was adopting.  so they cant not like single people to adopt.  

im sure you will be fine  

hi to all x x


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

wouldloveababycat said:


> It will be interesting to see what they say to me being single  but hey ready for a challenge..if I thought it was going to be easy I would be mad ..but worth the effort I say
> 
> Cat x


Like Jo says they need to see YOU have a good support network not so much for the child rather for you having people to help and support you as and when you need them too.

I knwo on the HS work we did there was a bit for singles about what things you look for in a partner and how you think you would handle things if you met someone after matching!

good luck

xxx


----------



## suedulux

Hi ya 

Just dipping  my  toe  in the  adoption  pond  .  

Have just had  our last tx  . Its  time to  move on .

I'm going to  be  reading though all  the  info  on this  tread, but  if anyone can offer  me  

some  any  ideas where  to  start  , I'd be  v  greatful  ?  

Luv  Sue


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

suedulux said:


> Hi ya
> 
> Just dipping my toe in the adoption pond .
> 
> Have just had our last tx . Its time to move on .
> 
> I'm going to be reading though all the info on this tread, but if anyone can offer me
> 
> some any ideas where to start , I'd be v greatful ?
> 
> Luv Sue


Hi Sue

Have a look at this thread to get you started http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=136299.0 (this memeber is from pompey too!)

xxx


----------



## Boomy

Suedulux - Just wanted to say hi and welcome you to the virgins thread.  I'm sure one of the girls will be of more help to you than me as we are in NZ and things are probably a bit different over here.    

I think I've met you before in the chat room... the one and only time I have ever ventured in there.     You were very patient with me being a newby and a very slow typer... I haven't been back since, as it goes too fast for me to keep up.

Anyway, good luck hunny.   

Boomy xx


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Hi Sue ..I am a newbie on here too but welcome hunny   

I do have a lot of support with lots of friends and family so not worried about that too much.. at the end of the day all you can do is be honest and all my friends have told me I must adopt as it would be a shame and a waste if I didn't as I am so good with kids so def lots of support there   .. in fact if I didn't apply I think they would be applying for me  

I have decided if I can't I will just have to adopt cats instead and be that smelly old mad woman every village has that collects cats .. or was that just our village that had that  

Cat x


----------



## Spaykay

Sue hi hun   sorry to see you here as it means you didn't get that so wanted BFP but glad to see you here as I think you're GGGRRRRRRRReeeeeeeat! And it's good to be on a thread with you!  

Will catch up on all your news as I'm off to bed. Been away for 4 days to Gran's funeral, all fine and on Tues got call from adoption place...all paper work fine but they need a translation of my birth certificate (which they said they didn't need grrrrrrr  ) so I've found someone who listened to my sob story and will get it done by tomorrow YAY! SO that means all the paper work is fine and I guess we're through to the next round as soon as they get it!

I'll try to do personals tomorrow my loves!

Kay xxx


----------



## Debs

Hi girls  

Sue - so sad that your tx didnt give you the dream you wanted   but you can still be a mummy if you choose adoption.  Good luck hun.

Kay - sorry to hear about your gran    Glad you managed to get the paperwork sorted.

We have heard from ss and we have our first meeting in ........... June    Its a bit further away than we wanted and we wont get on a prep course till october at the earliest and thats subject to current waiting lists   but hey its a step in the right direction.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Love

Debs xxx


----------



## Boomy

Debs - Crikey that's along wait for you.  Lets hope a miracle happens and the prep courses are moved up a bit.    Good luck hunny.   

Kay - Pleased you've got all the paperwork sorted.  I hate that part.  Forms faze me.    My referees have both filled out their character references for us, and sent them in.  They said a lot of nice stuff about us.  We sound perfect.     

Got my hair cut & coloured today and feel like a new woman.  It's amazing what a new hairdo can do for a gal.  Had been feeling really blah up until now.

Love to all,
Boomyxx


----------



## Tibbelt

Debs - oh honey that is a long wait   here's hoping a place comes up sooner for you     In the meantime make sure you spoil yourself lots (prep course and HS can be quite tiring!) and maybe do some reading to pass the time (and impress your SW when you do finally meet them!   ) ?

Kay -  Hope the funeral went ok honey    And well done on getting all your papers sorted!!!    

Boomy - oh honey, I know just waht you mean about forms! But do be prepared for lots of paperwork in HS!   But it's not really forms so it is much easier - more like questions they ask and then you have to give your answers & opinions, and as our SW tells us all the time, 'there are no right and wrong answers'  so I'm sure you'll be fine! Not long now til your prep course!!  
p.s. I coloured my hair at the weekend too cos I was feeling dull! Must be the season!  

Sue - welcome on board honey!   This is a great board so I hope oyu enjoy as much as I do!

Cat - you made me laugh!   I used to think that I'd end up being the mad old cat lady before I met DH! I'm sure you won't have to rely on Cats, you're going to be a great mum!   And our LA doesn't have a problem with anyone being single, it's about your having a good support network, and that applies to old marrieds like me too so I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about.

Camly - how are you doing honey? Hope you're ok and feeling more upbeat  

Jo - how's things with you? Hope you're ok too  

Crusoe - how's HS going? All going well I hope

Mr Cheese - how's you HS going too? Much homework this week? we've run out of tasks (phew!   )to complete so we're doing case studies now, v. interesting and thought provoking.

Hello to anyone I've missed - hope oyu're all having a good week! Downhill to the weekend now! Yippeee!  

As for us, all's going well. Our SW started interviewing our referees this week so it's starting to feel like we're getting to the end of HS. Am just hoping that the next couple of months fly by and panel will be here soon! 
Am off to see my family this weekend for my nephews birthday - going to be great fun!

Have a good end of week all
lots of love
Sarah
xxx


----------



## crusoe

Hi virgins

I typed a really long message this morning but somehow it got lost .... Aggggghhhhh. I can't remember what I wrote either  ....

Sue- I'm so sorry your last treatment didn't work.    I've been there and it is so hard. I am sure you will find that as the adoption process starts it will feel positive and that you are moving forwards all the time.

Debs - sorry you have to wait so long for a prep course but it will come around. There are things you can usefully be doing in the meantime i.e. reading, thinking about referrees you might approach, thinking about the type of children you could or couldn't parent etc etc.

Spaykay - sorry about your Gran. I hope you gave her a good send off - hugs to you.    
Good news that things are moving forward a little for you. Each tiny step is a step nearer having your family.

Boomy - reading about your new look has made me book a trip to the hairdressers today! I've decided I've got to do something to cover the grey!
It sounds like your referrees have been lovely. We had to find 4 referrees, 3 of them have given us copies of what they wrote (and they were really nice things) but the 4th hasn't shown us hers  - I am trying not to read anything into this but I would love to know what she has said.

Sarah -Have  a good family weekend. Just think soon there will be a new addition to your family to involve!!! 
Great news that you think you are coming to the end of h/s!! We have another 5 sessions (over 10 weeks) booked with our s/w and she thinks that will probably be the end for us. We have had no homework so far from h/s. Our LA seems to do things differently as we have 2 prep courses and on the 2nd we had absolutely mountains and mountains of homework that has informed the h/s process.

Must go now - tonight we are on a childrens emergency first aid course. It seemed like a good idea when we booked it months ago but tonight I could honestly do without it - still it has gone down well with our s.w.

Love (and luck) to you all
Crusoe
xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Pobby - welcome

Jo -   hope you and DH are managing to sort things, this is all so much stress on a relationship

Kat - the only question I can give my opinion on is the when to tell the child...I hope that ours will just always know, stories about where they were born, how we met, how much we love them etc. etc.

Debs - does sound a long wait hun but it'll be worth it  

I'm pooped...had 1 of my assistants in tears yesterday and tried to comfort her even though she was being slightly rediculous and childish and selfish, but hey...

Got the birth certifucate to the translator and   DH will pick it up tonight and I can fax it off tomorrow...should I put at the bottom 'Looking forward to receiving your call?'

Kay xxx


----------



## Camly

hi all 

kay - yes, i think you should put something at the bottom of it. hope your ok, after your grans funeral.

sarah - i am bit better thanks.its nearly been 2 weeks since we got an email to say the formal applications would be sent out. dont know if i should email them to chase them up?

hi to all those i havent fully met.  

sorry for such a quickie (oh errr mrs).  hope your all well and looking forward to weekend. 

lots of love camly x x x x


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Hi ya hello all

Tibbelt we are still ploughing through it, getting there though.
We went off to meet another couple who have just Adopted a 15 month old child, and it was great to see them as a family now.


How is everybody now


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Hi Mr Cheese .. We are hobblingly lovely thankyou ..how about yourself  just got in from work so ready for a sit down.. worked my little   ...medium   ok ..*large* butt off today  we are short staffed so busy busy busy.. I have been shortlisted for a promotion I have gone for ..in fact two posts that are both promotions .. so have also bought lots of stuff home to study for the interview at the end of the month!

Hi to everyone else  hope everyone has had a good day 

Cat x


----------



## suedulux

Hello  everyone .

I was  wondering  if  there's a Adoption virgins  chat  night  proposed  at all?  

I  would love  to  chat  live  to  others  just  starting like  me ?  

I'm no  so  good a t  posting    

Luv  Sue


----------



## Debs

Sue we are planning an organised one soon - but the other night someone just posted they fancied a chat and people just piled on in there  

So if you fancy a natter (and I know you like to natter   ) then just shout - Im not sure when the organised one will be as Saphy is arranging it    Im sure she will let us know soon.

Love

Debs xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Yeh - it would be good to chat. I'll probably see you in soon anyhoo Sue

Camly - I didn't put anything on the bottom in the end, just this is the last document needed for starting the process or something like that.

Cheesey...doing good ta (full of cold though







) you good?

Kay xxx


----------



## Camly

hello all

how is everyone today?  i phoned SW today and the SW'er said she thought our formal application had been sent out but would send us another today recorded delivery!!whooohhoooooooooo!!! at last!!   its only been a fortnight since we got the email.  

got DH's kids for the weekend   the stay down south so we only get to see them at holiday times etc.  they only just arrived and its fab!! i want some of our own...    DH and his son are actually playing mario olympics on the Nintendo DS at the mo, so thats why i am on here. DD has gone outside to play with neighbours. happy days

kay - glad you sent everything away. hope you hear something soon.

hope everyone enjoys their weekend. we are going either bowling or crazy golf tomorrow. 

lots of love (a happy stepmum) camly x x x x x


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Spaykay

Yeah everything is good at the moment apart from the builders making a pigs ear of our Conservatory at the moment.

We have just 2 interviews left, our medicals and our reference's and then we are there!!

Cheese xx


----------



## Boomy

Ye-hah Cheese... you are almost at the finishing line....

xx


----------



## saphy75

Hi sorry it has taken me ages to sort out a chat I'm planning to do it on monday the 14th of april  i'll post here later with more details

pam xx

* update * link to chat info http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=136819.0


----------



## wouldloveababycat

I got my adoption pack through today   yay lots of info sheets etc and read through it all straight away I was so excited.. 

Mr Cheese ..       for a swift panel and match for you  

Calmly ..You sound so happy hunny   fingers crossed the app form comes through quick  

Cat x


----------



## Katwoman

Hello everybody.

Thanks so much for all your replies to my questions. I am really pleased to hear such a lot of good news from all of you about your journies. It sounds as if things are moving quickly for most of you and at least moving for the others!

I received my info pack from the LA this week. All good info but, to be honest, I have probably got more comprehensive details from this site and from "listening" to you all. The pack will be really good for DP though. Now I just have to make him read it!!!!!!

It seems that I have to wait 5 months to apply to ensure that there is a six month gap from our last tx. I understand the reasons for this but it means I'll probably hit the big 40 before we reach our dream. Never mind - I will get there!

Take care everybody and thanks again.

Kat xx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Cat:-

Get reading plenty, it all helps.

You will soon be the road of Adoption before you even know it 


Katwoman, i may well be 40 by the time we get through it all as a matter of fact i am not even 39 yet and our Social Worker found it hilarious  
that i ways already planning a big 40 bash next year.
I did say to our Social Worker i would love to be a Dad before i hit my fourties  , to hopefully this will happen

But this week for us has been a nightmare, both Dogs seem to have got a tummy bug, the builders are cocking up plus plenty of stuff, a bit of luck next week will improve , i wont have one brown hair left on my head at this point, well whats left of my hair that is   

Regards Cheese


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Builders should come with a health warning   hope the dogs get better soon..there do seem to be some nasty bugs about among dogs at the moment. 

Cat x


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Cat x we think it is C Diff which floating about at DW's work, TMI but getting plenty practice in with the baby wipes at the moment


----------



## wouldloveababycat

You will pass the 'use of babywipes' course with flying colours then


----------



## Camly

hiya folks

hope your all well.

cheese - hope the builders are pulling their fingers out!! hope the dogs are better too.

kat - glad you got your info pack. waiting does suck but im sure if will fly by - even tho im the first to moan that everything is taking soooo long  

cat - glad you got your pack thru too.  

well, we played crazy golf today. Dh's DD nearly took someone's head off with a random shot at a hole in one!    we got our application form thru this morning as well, so we will fill that in and get it posted asap.fingers crossed this is it all starting! 

how is everyone's weekend going?  x x x


----------



## wouldloveababycat

oops sounds like your SD has been having fun 

I have been washing for England getting it out in the sunny windy weather .. I love the smell of line dried washing 

Think I have finally decided on a colour for my kitchen *Kind of this color pale lime green*  ooh you can't see it very well  its a bit paler than that nice and zingy tho

Cat x


----------



## Spaykay

WOWEEE Catthat certainly is zingry, very retro (I think).

Cheesey hope your dogs bum problem gets sorted soon and the builders get their act together and hope they're not drinking all your tea!

Camly glad the glopjing went well and thet you've got that all improtant applictation for, hope it's winging its way on now

Kat great news on the pack arriving! 1 step closer

Cruesoe, Tibbelt, Debs, Sue, MJ, Boomy and others (sorry, can only see these names below and I have a terriblel memory!) HELLO!

Saphy thanks for setting up the chat, I'll try and remember to come! What room is it in?

Hope all are well

Kay xxx


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Just thought Mr Cheese you could always let one of your dogs sit in the builders van for a bit if they don't sort themselves out  

Kay it is a bit paler than that sort of a pale lemony/limey colour .. I wanted something different as have done the beige neutral scheme so many times .. I have found another yellow for my hallway .. my bedroom is duck egg blue and the spare room is probably going to be either another yellow or an off white with navy & red touches ..have found some lovely gingham bits that are quite unisex and bright..

Oh and the bathroom is lilac lol thats it you have the rundown now   the limey colour is for a large open plan room kitchen/lounge/diner..which currently has about 12 different tester colours over the wall   .. 

Hello to everyone else   Cruesoe, Tibbelt, Debs, Sue, MJ, Boomy, Kat, Jo, Saphy  

Cat x


----------



## Spaykay

Gawd my spelling was bad, not even I can work out what I wrote to Camly!  I'd just woken up from a siesta!

Jo I fogot to say hello to you earlier, hope you're okay!

Cat the colours sound great! I painted my bedroom ceiling blue and everyone thought I was nuts, it looks great! And my mum copied it!

Kay xxx


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Ooh bet thats cool .. what colour walls did you do with it ? when we were kids my Mum painted a ceiling pink and the walls blue and that was cool too .. sounds gross now but was very classy at the time  

I rented a house once that had those stars on the ceiling that glow in the dark ..that was cool think it was supposed to be for the kids    but who cares.. 

Cat x


----------



## Spaykay

Cat just white walls...I have those shiny stars in the spare room  

Kay xxx


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Ooh lovely .. when can I come and stay    Morning All


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Cat:- What a good idea, that would get them pulling there fingers out


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Well you live in hope   my parents had builders round recently and Mum made them a drink, she saw the mugs in their van and said make sure that you give me the mugs back, he laughed and said oh we are always pinching mugs .. and blow me if they did pinch both of them, Mum phoned them up and he said he couldn't bring them back for a couple of days and then never did take them back .. wonder what the police would say to a phone call re stolen mugs     cheeky devils   One was a special one that Mum had been given in Trinidad .. so its not the cost of them its the sentimental value..  

I have the marathon on ..it amazes me how tough people are when they run with illnesses etc amazing ..makes you feel very humble..

Cat x


----------



## Spaykay

Ooooo is it today? Keep your eyes open for my friend and his wife...

Kay xxx


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Give us a clue what do they look like


----------



## Spaykay

like everyone else I guess! They'll be the ones not coming in 1st!

Kay xxx


----------



## wouldloveababycat

well - Well Done to them for having a go .. I think I would have to be in a motorised wheelchair   to get round ..or better still a car   or maybe I could do the kids 3 mile one  

Cat x


----------



## HFI

Hi everyone

Sorry it's been so long since I last posted (I've actually only posted once!).  I have been reading but it takes such a long to time to work out who everyone is  

It's so funny reading the last few posts about hair colour, builders and painting - sounds like my life at the moment    I think we all need mini projects to keep us entertained whilst we're on this adoption journey.  I decided to have something different done to my hair this time, instead of highlights and it's disgusting.  I'm having it re-done this Thursday thank goodness.  I've been in hiding all weekend  

Builders have been in and put in a new banister which I'm very happy with.  Still deciding on colours, I've currently got about 15 blobs on my living room wall and don't like any of them.  I think I've spent over £20 on tester pots  

Kay - How did your friend and his wife do in the London marathon?  I agree with Cat, good on them for attempting it.  My DH done it last year and really enjoyed it - must be mad  

Cat - I'm pleased to see you've made a decision on the colour of your kitchen.  It's really cool and will brighten up the room.  I hope I make a decision soon! By the way, I like them stars on the ceiling as well - I used to have them in my spare room!  Really pleased you've got your information pack through on your on your way.

Cheese - Well done on getting near the end of the process - I can't beleive how quickly you've got there.  On your profile it says you started the process in Jan 08, I thought it took a year to get to the matching panel.  What's your secret or have I misunderstood?  I hope the dogs are now ok and the builders are behaving themselves.

Camly - Sounds like you had a great time with your DH's children and a near miss at crazy golf    It's great spending time with children isn't it - you can be a child yourself    Hope you've completed your application form and sent it off.

Hi to everyone else.  I hope you all had a great weekend.

Just got a quick question for everyone.  What is the home study and what does it involve?  It seems like it take a long time to go through.

I'm still patiently waiting to go on the prep course at the beginning of May.  Not too long to wait.

Have a nice day everyone  

Love H x


----------



## crusoe

HFI - I see you are in Herts - are you adopting there too?
Herts seem to do things a little differently to other LA's they have 2 prep courses followed by h/s. We are doing h/s at the moment so please PM if I can help. Home study does take a while but we are actually quite enjoying it and feel as if we are making progress all the time.
Hi to all Virgins
Hope you had a good weekend.
Love Crusoe
xx


----------



## Camly

morning ladies and cheese   

H - thats a shame that you are having to have your hair re-done. nothing worse that an hair dont! hahahaaa  im sure it not as bad as you think.  yeah we have had a great time with the kids, ta. they are sadly going home today   but we will see them again in the summer. we havent had a chance to fill in the form as yet, small prying eyes are about. the kids dont know we are trying to adopt - dont want to get their hopes built up etc and also with the 'when are you going to get a baby/child?' etc?  once DH comes home tomorrow we will get it filled in and posted off. i think the next process takes its time also - they then pass it onto a SW who will then commence our home study. not long til may for your prep course.

Kay, Cheese, Sarah, Cat, Crusoe, Deb, Sue, boomy, Mj and all those i have missed (sorry)  - how are you all doing today? nice weekend?

off to the shops just now - going to spain in just under 3 weeks for a hen weekend, so going to buy some holiday stuff   


lots of love camly x x x x


----------



## Tibbelt

Hello all!  

Welcome HFI - like Crusoe DH & I are currently doing homestudy too. We just have 1 prep course at our LA and then approx 10 HS appointments. You talk about all sorts of things; about your lives, the things that are important to you and your views on bringing up a child etc, etc. They do go through your life with a fine tooth comb   but so long as you remind yourself that it's about protecting your future child it's not too intrusive (well for the most part, I'm feeling a  bit bugged   by 1 thing at the moment but it's not too bad! Read further down for details!!) All in all I would say that this journey is much easier than the treatment one and at least you can have a glass of wine on this one   !!

Camly - so glad you had a lovely weekend! I did too with my nephews - was great fun! can't wait to see them again!   And well done on getting the paperwork done tomorrow - it's a great feeling when it's done!  

Mr Cheese - oh poor you!   Sounds like you're having a real week of it! Hope the dogs are feeling less   and that the builders are less   and that this week is better than the last! 

Kay - Oh a siesta   (daydreaming!) - now that's a lovely thought ! Hope all wellwith you honey  

Cat - Love the colour for you kitchen!   I have 1 bright orange wall in mine (cream shaker style units and stone floor - so it really brightens in up!) - I love colour! We're just starting to do our hallway - got some gorgeous wallpaper which is cream with big cranberry red flowers growing up it so doing 1 wall in that and then having the other plain cream so we can hang piccies there too. Trying to get it all done in time for our second opinion visit   so got about 6 weeks... must start painting the ceiling this weekend!

Kat -    I know that 5 months probably feels like an age right now but the time wil pass really quickly I promise honey! And it really is beneficial, looking back I'm so glad we have that 6 month break from everything - we had a couple of fab hols, went out lots, caught up with friends and generally got back to enjoying life after all the IVF misery! use the time to spoil yourself lots and if oyu want to feel like you're doing something towards your adoption then get in some reading - your SW will love you!  

 to Pobby, Debs, Sue, MJ and anyone I've missed - hope you're all ok and having a good week!

Well - please forgive me but here comes a bit of a moan... after telling me that it was 'highly unlikely' that SS would want to contact my ex-H I found out on Friday that our lovely SW's boss is insisting that they do... I understand why, I know it's just because they want to know everything is covered and that panel can't unpick any of the work we've done but     it's soooo annoying! I haven't spoken to him in alost 12 years, I don't have a clue where he is (he isn't from the UK so I very much doubt he's here - we never lived here when we were married) and we never had children together... we split up, it was the right thing for both of us, and we went our seperate ways! I don't want him brought back in to my and it's not fair on my darling DH.... arghhh! Sorry... moan over!   Phew - that feels better!!! Anyhow - I wil be the good prospective adoptive parent and will see if there's any way I can find out where he is.... I hope my future children appreciate all we went through !!!    

anyway, off to cook DH some dinner!
have a lovely evening all
lots of love
Sarah
xxxx


----------



## crusoe

Sarah 
I have had the ex-husband thing too. I didn't know where he was and we hadn't spoken for 7 or 8 years. Fortunately I did track him down and he has been really good about the whole thing, filling in the required form etc and sending me his best wishes that it all works out successfully. When I first heard he had to be contacted I couldn't see the point - like you we hadn't got children together and it seemed unfair that we needed his "approval" to adopt. 
I can't say I enjoyed getting in touch at the start but it has worked out fine and reminded me that although he is now very definately an ex we did share a few good times and despite the horrible bits at the end of the relationship he is not a total ogre.
I really hope you can track your ex down and he is co-operative so you can move this on quickly. I just decided to be totally honest with mine, I appealed to his better nature explained why we needed his help etc and managed to do it all via email so I didn't have to speak to him direct  - fortunately he came good - hope yours does too.

I'm off to cook tea too. Sausages and sweet potato mash tonight!

hi to all virgins

love crusoe
xx


----------



## Spaykay

to exs. Hope everything goes okay!

kay xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Hey Feehily - what you doin' GATECRASHING! 

Lovely to meet some of you in chat! Night night!

Kay xxx


----------



## Tibbelt

Great chat girls - thank you!    

xxx


----------



## Boomy

Tibbelt - That seems so unfair having to contact your ex regarding your adoption plans. I can absolutely understand where you are coming from. Luckily I have never been married, as to be honest I would be really annoyed at having an ex know all about my current personal business with my current DH that had nothing to do with him. Now I'm ranting.... but I would actually be furious if I were you.    I don't really understand what sort of information they could possibly need from an *ex* husband from *12* years ago who you never even had any children with.   Anyway, apart from that hope you are well. 

Boomy xx


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Ooh we love a good gatecrasher  

Just a quickie from me as ready for bed .. I found out today I cannot adopt through LA as I work for them but the Adoption Team Manager has agreed kindly to meet with me on thursday to give me lots of advice and information and will refer me to one of the agencies that can help me..so thats good - feeling really positive and ready to go for it ..       

Hope you have all had a good day   

Cat x


----------



## crusoe

Cat - that's a shame. Do you work for Social Services then because I also work for my LA but am able to adopt via them.
Great that they are going to refer you though and you are feeling positive.
Crusoe x


----------



## NuttyJo

cat

can i ask, did you all have to pay for your medicals?   ive got to arrange ours for our fostering and dont know who pays


----------



## Rachelbee

Hi can I join please?

We are just waiting for our 1st home visit in a couple of weeks!!


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Jo, we had this the other week with Medicals.
Our LA pays for our Medicals but our GP refused to do them without payment up front, we sorted it in the end.
Anyway my answer is some LA's make you pay and some dont, very different across the board really.

Our GP was charging £79.00 each


----------



## crusoe

We had to pay for ours - ours were £110 each. My Dh's lasted 1.5hrs mine barely 20 mins - hardly equality of service!!!

Welcome RachelBee !!!

Crusoe


----------



## Spaykay

RachelBee please do join us hun!

Feehily - you can gatecrash here hun but we all know you not a virgin! Nah, but really, advice from someone who's been through the process is always welcome!

Jo - glad to see you posting hun!

Cheese -







hellllloooooooo young man!

Crusoe, Boomy, Tibbelt - howdee

HFI - hellloooooo again

Cat -  seems pants they can't do you cause you work there, should be an advantage! Everything in Spain is through who you know!

Hi everyone who posted on previous pages! I have a very bad memory for names but I remember all your faces! 

Kay xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Feehily - norty! Right off to make my tea!

Kay xxx


----------



## Spaykay

I'll see, need an early night...but you never know!  

Kay xxx


----------



## Tarango

hello Virgins, 
just wanted to pop on and say 'bonjour tous le mans' or something like that   

Cat - we were told we couldn't go through our LA as we work for them. I am not SS but DH is - I think they would have said go elsewhere if it was just me and if DH worked elsewhere.

Welcome Rachelbee and big hello to everyone else 


T
xxxxxxx


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Hi everyone .. Hope you are all well 

I can understand the situation really with my LA as I am in the dept that tells them off if they do wrong  ..so maybe thats why lol conflict of interest

[fly]   [/fly] ..I can understand it really and in some ways its easier for me to discuss the gorey details of my life with someone I don't know ..rather than with someone I semi know..

I am still excited about meeting with the TM though.. hope to borrow some books too - well there has to be some advantages of working there  

Had a mega busy day today did not get home until about 7.15 as I have been covering for my boss and for other people that have left ..you would have laughed hysterically at my desk .. you could just about tell it was a desk under all the piles of work ..but managed to get lots done so not too bad a day really..

Brrr is it cold or is it just me ? .. I feel dead chilly the last couple of days.. might have to get my thermals out  .. Yes I do possess some from going to watch the Rugby in all weathers .. dedicated to the rugby I was but was not about to freeze my  off 

Costs do seem to vary an awful lot don't they which hardly seems fair when you are having supposedly the same service ... right where are those thermals 

Cat x


----------



## Boomy

Gonna post and run.    

But wanted to say welcome to Rachelbee.  Good luck with the first home visit hun.    

Only a week to go until our first seminar.  I'm still tossing up what to take for the group for lunch.  Leaning towards some ham, tomato & lettuce club sammies.      I'm not great at baking cakes under pressure.    

Boomy xx


----------



## suedulux

Hi ya 

Got  some  good  stuff  from the  adoption virgin chat,  but  had  head ache so left  early. 

Dh  feels  we  should  wait  for a couple of  months  before  ploughing into the  adoption scene.

Am pretty dissapointed , its  gonna leave a void in my life .  Just  gonna have to  decorate  the  bedrooms upstairs  to 

keep  me  occupied lol  ( its  gonna  cost him!  lol )

A  question , (one of  many)  is it possible to  pay to have a police  check done before  doing anything else . Dh is a little  worried 

about  past  problems    .


Luv  sue


----------



## Banana Girl

Hi - I dont know if this is the right board - so please feel free to re-direct me.
I think we might be pre- virgin!  We want to adopt but haven't got the FOGGIEST where to start.
Do I just type "adoption" into Google and cross my fingers it will send me to a useful site??
b
x


----------



## Tibbelt

all!

Hope you're all well.

Bananna girl - Adoptionuk.com is also a great website to find out lots of info (they also have a booklet you can buy if I remember correctly!)  

Sue - CRB checks were one of the first things done for us too, almost immediately after the prep course. Came back quicly too which was a relief!  

Fee - have you come down to earth yet honey? Bet you're still on   -enjoy every minute honey!

Kay - How's tricks honey? Hope all's welll with you.

Boomy - Only 4 days to go!!!!!     Hope they go quick for you!

Mr Cheese  - How's things? Our homework seems to be getting a bit lighter so hang on in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel!!!  

Crusoe - Thank you for the ex-H sympathy! I've given the last known addresses I have and now we just have to wait and see...  Well done for dealing with yours so well   . (BTW - when's your panel date? doesn't sounds like it should be long away now?   )

Tarango - sorry to hear you can't go with your own LA honey, hope there are some others nearby. Have to say I think it probably is easier talking about everything on HS with someone you don't know - can get quite intense which might feel a bit wierd with a collegue!   

Cat - Sounds like you're having a manic week honey   , hope it's quieting down a bit for you and that you have something pampering and relaxing planned for the weekend!   (and yup - it's freezing!!! glad it's not just me who feeling the cold!!!  )

Jo - no we didn't have to pay for our medicals, the docs invoiced our LA direct I believe.   

Hello to anyone I've missed - hope you're all ok 

All's well with us, as I said abot to Crusoe I've given our SW the last known addresses I have for my ex-H and she's going to write, she says that if he doesn't anser then at least we can show we've tried and that should be enough! Other than that all's good... roll on the weekend though, I'm tired this week!! Must be getting old!!    

Lots of love to all
Sarah
xxx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Well had our Medicals today.
My Doctor gave me the all clear and she was great to be honest.

Not to sure about Mrs Cheese though, as they found something wrong in her medical, so fingers crossed on that one.

I am going to have a bottle of wine to myself tonight as a treat, big hurdle for me that was, although we are not out of the woods yet

As for the Home work we have nearly done, only a couple of items to finish, bring it on 

Cheese xx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Banana Girl said:


> Hi - I dont know if this is the right board - so please feel free to re-direct me.
> I think we might be pre- virgin! We want to adopt but haven't got the FOGGIEST where to start.
> Do I just type "adoption" into Google and cross my fingers it will send me to a useful site??
> b
> x


Try this thread for a starting point http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=136299.0

Good luck

xxx (sorry its a auick post however shattered as started our intros today! )
x


----------



## Spaykay

Cheesey - well done you healthy figure of a man! Hope Mrs Cheesey doesn't have any problems, she's been though enough already  

Hiya everyone!

Kay xxx


----------



## superal

Just want to echo what Kay said to Mr & Mrs Cheese.

Mr cheese - well done on passing the medical, enjoy the wine!

Mrs Cheese - hope things will be OK for you, like Kay said you've been through enough already.

Love
Andrea
x


----------



## Suzie

Can I join you please ? 

We got the call today to start home prep to adopt our foster child who is with us at the moment. 
It is something we had to think long and hard about as we are foster carers and went into fostering to do just that. 
We never dreamed that we would be adopting one  

We are starting home prep in approx 6 weeks although we already have a form F done for our fostering. Panel is approx 6 months time and 12 weeks from panel to legal adoption 

We have done things ar*e about face it seems and it hasnt all really sunk in yet but we both cant wait 

xx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Suzie said:


> Can I join you please ?
> 
> We got the call today to start home prep to adopt our foster child who is with us at the moment.
> It is something we had to think long and hard about as we are foster carers and went into fostering to do just that.
> We never dreamed that we would be adopting one
> 
> We are starting home prep in approx 6 weeks although we already have a form F done for our fostering. Panel is approx 6 months time and 12 weeks from panel to legal adoption
> 
> We have done things ar*e about face it seems and it hasnt all really sunk in yet but we both cant wait
> 
> xx


Weldone,

And how great is that for the little one.

It will fly over

Cheese x


----------



## crazybabe

Suzie - Welcome to the thread, we are all a lovely bunch here and you will find that you will alway get the support you need here, we have all been through some very stressful times and all decided to move forward, I would like to wish you all the very best of luck with adopting the little boy, bless him, the time will fly by for you.

We all love a good chat   so feel free to post us or pm me anytime.

Crazybabe

xx


----------



## saphy75

Suzie great news hun, i hope it all goes through quickly and smoothly for you

pam xx


----------



## superal

Suzie - thats fantastic news, so pleased for you & this little chap!!

Love
Andrea
x


----------



## NuttyJo

hi ya suzie! im here too, even though im not adopting... but they let me just ramble on still lol   brilliant news about you adopting littley, did they ask you to adopt him or was it your ideas?   

well done mr cheese, hope you enjoyed the wine. hope mrs cheese doesnt have any further problems   i know how she must be feeling as i have my medical soon and im dreading it due to my endo etc. give her a hug from me   

hello everyone, hope you;re all ok   thanks for the advice about my medicals, i asked the doctor and he said he can just send an invoice direct to the VA so lets hope they pay it!   

love jo x


----------



## Suzie

Thanks for the welcome 

Jo - they don't look favourably on foster carers adopting placements they have as it can get complicated. Due to location etc but it is deemed that one more move for this little chap could be disastrous for him as he had major attachment issues when he came, which we are working hard at  They also don't want to lose their foster carers. We are level 5 specialist carers and we are having a year out after the adoption and going back to fostering 

It is all still taking a while to sink in !

xx


----------



## Spaykay

Feehily you're not thinck - I don't know either!

Suzie wow hun,   I'm really happy for you, that's great news and I'm sure your child's life will be greatly improved by this  

Kay xxx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Well all is well at the moment,

We mentioned the medical yesterday to the SW today and she didn't seem concerned about anything, we are just one step away from it all, one more to go and we have done the homestudy.
That target date is looking very realistic, fingers crossed although we are still on tender hooks about the Medicals.

How is everybody else today

Cheese


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Hi all .. Just a quickie from me .. I met up with the Adoption Team Manager yesterday and had a good long chat and she has given me a number for the agency to call apparently the Director is awaiting my call she has had a chat with them already  came home with an armful of magazines and books to read which is great .. apparently training is in sept so going to ring them at the end of next week or the Monday of the week after as I want to know how the job interviews go at work next week first            so have enough to think about for next week.. but it will be good to have something to get my teeth into the week after..

Anyone got any good tips for things to think of during an interview ?

Mr Cheese ..it all sounds very positive really pleased for you         for everyone else  

Cat x


----------



## Spaykay

Cat - loving the rabbit photo!

Kay xxx


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Spaykay ..It is cute isn't it ..its not mine..I think my cats would perhaps eat a rabbit if I had one or roll it into a ball and roll it around   

Have a good day all .. I am off to peel lots of potatoes for a St Georges Day event tomorrow.. I lead such an exciting life  

Cat x


----------



## Suzie

feehilyfan said:


> Suzie please can I be the fick one here? What does it mean to be a level 5 foster carer hun? xxx


sorry I was trying to say that we are what they call speciaist carers and sometimes send children to us who need that little extra help that we are trained for and they dont like to lose their level 5 carers as we are few and far between in Norfolk 

Wouldloveababycat - they say to imagine the person interviewing you naked!  so it makes you relax 

Cheese - fingerscrossed for you


----------



## wouldloveababycat

Suzie   well as one of them is my current boss I might end up in fits of laughter    ..I can see how they wouldn't want to lose you as great foster carers are in demand, our LA cannot get enough for the children that need them..

Cat x


----------



## Tibbelt

Morning all!

Soooo nice to have a lie in this morning - the weather doesn't look at all nice outside so I think it's going to be a day to hole up at home!  

Suzie -     Congratulations honey on your wonderful news! Am thrilled to bits for you.

Mr cheese - sending big   to you and Mrs Cheese, I know the medical thing must be a bit of a worry but if your SW isn't worrying then you shouldn't either, I'm sure they'll get it all sorted in time for panel. I think every HS has a blip somewhere along the line but it seems that most of them get sorted!   

Fee - how's life on   treating you?  

Cat - good luck for your interview honey!   and I so love the bunny too... I really want one but DH says I can't    because he'll be the one that ends up having to clear it out.... he's probably right!   

 To everyone else - hoep you're all ok and havve something nice planned for the weekend!
Lots of love to all
Sarah
xxx


----------



## Laine

Suzie,

Fab news....wow!!

Laine xx


----------



## JellyR

Hi all, hope you don't mind me joining in but thought the title of this thread suited me down to the ground!

First a bit of history - I'm 33 and DH is 43, been TTC for around 4.5 years, diagnosed with PCOS and 1 blocked tube plus DH has low morph swimmers.  Have had 2 goes at IVF, one converted to IUI as I responded poorly, second went all the way but only ended up with 1 decent embie to put back.  Had a bit of time out to enjoy being a married couple and decided to move house at the end of last year.  Just started thinking about what to do and after loads of soul searching and tears we have decided that adoption is the way forward for us to complete our family - we know that it will be a tough journey but assuming everything goes OK at least there will be a child at the end which we were doubtful of with IVF.

Anyway we're literally at the start of this journey as only called LA last Tuesday - not had their info pack yet but the woman on the phone seemed nice and informed us that the next prep course for our area isn't until October so at least we have a bit of time to do our homework on everything we need to know.

Looking forward to chatting to everyone on the thread and watching the how things progress with you all.


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

JellyR

Hello there, weldone for joining the the gang although i dont feel like i am an Adoption Virgin as we are almost there.

I cant speak for everybody but i have found it a lot less stressfull than the Fertility road.

Good luck

Cheese xx


----------



## Boomy

Hi JellyR, welcome to the group.  I look forward to getting to know you.    

Our first seminar is tomorrow.     Finally... feels like I've been waiting forever.  I'm really nervous, not sure what to expect.  I'm also a bit worried about DH falling asleep during it.    He is a truck driver and doesn't arrive back home until tomorrow morning, probably around 4am.  He has then got to try and catch a couple of hours sleep before he has to be up at 7.30am to get ready to go to the seminar.    Better fill up a few flasks with coffee me thinks.   

xx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Boomy about the falling asleep bit , but to be honest there is alot to take in so your brain dosen't get chance to rest much, dont let that scare you though, very interesting

Good luck, you will enjoy it

Cheese


----------



## NuttyJo

welcome jellyr!      

boomy, i did my fostering prep course and was really nervous but there is so much to take in that you soon loose that nervousness. hope your dh stays awake though! it really knackered me out as it was mentally draining. good luck and let us know how you get on    

morning everyone else, hope you're all well  

love jo x


----------



## Tibbelt

Hello all! Hope your weeks have got off to a good start!  

JellyR - welcome and good luck for your journey! Like Mr Cheese has said, although it does have it's challenges, the adoption route has been less stressful than the treatment route for us too! Hope your journey is a smooth one!  

Boomy - it's nearly TOMORROW!!!!     Hope your prep course goes well and that DH manages to stay awake (I'm sure he will, the adrenelin will kick in as it's exciting to be there at last!) Sending you    

Jo - how are things with you honey? hope all is well 

Kay - how are you? Any news on when you'll start HS yet?

Fee - I saw your list of questions for FPs on the other thread! Great list, I've made a note of them for future (fingers crossed) use!  

Mr Cheese - any news on Mrs Cheese's medical? Hope they get it sorted quickly for you  

Hello to everyone else, sorry for the lack of personals - this thread is getting so busy it's great but I'm losing track of everyone!     Hope you're all ok.

All's ok with us, though I'm feeling a bit down - my best friend had a baby shower yesterday (her baby is due by c-section this Friday) which was lovely but made me feel a little blue - we started trying for our family before she did and this is her second baby... add to that 1. my SIL being difficult about some help we need from her for our HS (long story!), 2. another friend ringing me constantly in tears because she doesn't know whether she should go back to work or be a stay at home mum and 3. a girl in the office who does nothing but moan about being pregnant... it's all getting to me a bit   I know the end of HS isn't far away and panel will follow soon after (10 weeks tomorrow if all goes to plan!) but sometimes I feel our journey has been so long.... sorry for the moan but I know you'll all probably understand!

Going to give myself a good talking to now   and pull myself together... thanks for letting me offload!

lots of love to all
Sarah
xxx


----------



## Camly

hi all

sarah -     its horrible when your feeling abit blue isnt it?  hope you feel like your normal self soon.  try and focus on your hs and the fact it wont be long.  keep your chin up chick   

jellyr - welcome.  hopefully we can all help you along the way - everyone on this thread is great so you will have good company. 

boomy - good luck with the seminar. keep us posted.

cheese - how did mrs c's medical stuff go? 

hope everyone else is well.

we have posted off our formal application so now we wait.................


lots of love camly x x x x


----------



## crusoe

Hi everyone!!

Just wanted to send Sarah a hug   I have experienced that moaning pregnant colleague / baby shower thing quite a few times and it's just horrible. Just remember you are NOT alone and your turn to be a mummy is getting ever closer.

jellyr - welcome!!  

cheese - hope you get some good news on the medical front very soon!

No news from us  but can I ask do any of you go through phases of being really excited and positive and other times where you feel anxious and worried about adoption. Some days I wonder if we are doing the right thing but most of the time I am certain we are - does anyone else feel like this?  

Love to all virgins - it is lovely to see this tread so busy and active!

Crusoe
xxx


----------



## Camly

hi crusoe

i know where you are coming from with how you feel. we havent really told anyone that we are hoping to adopt   as i feel we have been so disappointed before with treatment etc. we have sent our formal application away and hoping to hear when we should start our home study.  i think we have to try and be positive - i know its hard so here is an extra large    for you.  

keep your chin up sweetie.  x x x


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Hello there!!

On nights tonight so hence the early morning post, lol

We are still waiting for the medical results to be confirmed, although the SW doesn't seem unduly concerned about either of them.
We have our final visit on Wednesday which has come around so quick, to be fair though our SW has given us 110% and we have given back 111% so it has really helped us get through it.

If everything is ok, we will be going to panel in July, that will be the day after our holidays so might be a bit jet lagged.

crusoe :- i think it is natural to feel this way, after all it is a big commitment in your life but once you have a child in the house i am sure those doubts would dissappear

Camly/ Tibbelt :- we are hoping no news is good news

Camly :- things seem to move quickly for us after the application stage, before you know you will be on your way

Hello again everybody!!


----------



## Boomy

Tibbelt - Big hugs hunny.     Hope you're feeling better, yep we've all been there.    

We have not long been home from the seminar but I just had to come on and post.  It was brilliant.  So much better than what I had envisioned.  If I was not sure about adoption before, I am now.  All the other couples were awesome.  Felt great to be with others who we can relate to.  Information about the birth parents, open adoptions etc was all a real eye opener to me and I came away feeling really positive.  Can you tell?  I'm buzzing.    

xx


----------



## Tibbelt

Hello all,

Firstly - thank you all for the   's, am definately feeling better today.  It does come over us all at times I know but good to know that it passes too, I'm so 110% sure that adoption is right for us, jusyt wish the process was quicker!!   But am definately back on board the ride today and we'll do whatever it takes to get there!   Thank you again for all your lovely words of support, it's great to know you guys understand! Group hug!    

Crusoe - honey, it's perfectly normal to have moments of doubt - I'm sure there are v.v.few birth parents who have to think about all the implication of having children like we have to and the sheer fact that we are put through the mill time and time again and asked so many questions about how we would address different issues with our children is  bound to make us question ourselves! Hope you're feeling better and sending you big big  

Boomy - soooo glad you enjoyed your first day! Congratulations on getting going so well! 

Mr Cheese - hello! Bet you're looking forward to your final HS session tomorrow! That'll be another   out of the way! 

Camly - sending you big   too honey, you'll soon be on your way I'm sure and then it does start to feel real I promise! Hang on in there  

Sorry for lack of personals to everyone else - am at work so have to be quick! but thank you again all and hope oyur day is going well!

We're off to a seminar this evening about adoption and education which should be interesting so got to dash and need to finish work a bit early!

Lots of love to all
Sarah
xxx


----------



## Boomy

Forgot to tell you yesterday...  DH managed to stay awake in the seminar and he had only had 3 hours sleep (poor thing).  He said he did feel his eyes start to get a bit heavy during one video but at least there was no snoring coming from in.    

Tibbelt, pleased to hear you are feeling better hunny.  

Boomy xx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Well thats it,

We have now reached the end of our homestudy, and the SW is constantly mentioning different children to us and there papers, but we are holding back until we are approved and the we have had the all clear on the medicals.

I did mention to the SW though i keep grinning to myself that maybe one soon i will finally be a Dad , and DW is getting excited

Whats everybody else been upto

Cheese


----------



## Boomy

[fly]              [/fly]

Well done Cheese. It must be so exciting to reach the end (pretty much) and actually be hearing about children. I'm so pleased and excited for you.

I bet you're grinning like a Cheshire Cat, eh Cheese?

Boomy xx


----------



## Boomy

Feehilyfan - Aw good luck for tomorrow hunny.  Sending you lots of   from New Zealand. 

You won't be able to sleep tonight.  

Big hugs, Boomy xx


----------



## Boomy

I know what you mean.


----------



## Boomy

Me too... I went away and came back.  This site is magnetic.    

Go to bed   you don't want big baggy eyes when you meet your littlies tomorrow.  You might scare them.   

xx


----------



## crazybabe

Hi Girlies,

Anyone heard from MJ - How did she get on with review - Just to let you all that my information evening went really well, there was a couple in their mid 50's who had adopted a 7 year old girl and had a rough time during the process by the sounds of things but the little girl has come on heaps and bounds, it was very interesting and it was nice that we were in the same situation as the other couples and to meet them before our prep course in may, I am so excited to start prep course in may  another step closer to our child    

love

crazybabe


----------



## NuttyJo

yay mr & mrs cheese!

    feehilyfan for today!

   crazybabe for pre course in may!


----------



## Dee

*Cash prizes on offer .... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=135195.0*


----------



## HFI

Morning everyone

Feehilyfan - Hope you had a fab time yesterday - how did it go?  You may of already mentioned but was this the first time you've met your littlies?  Sorry but I do often loose track of everyone's journeys  . So what's the next step for you?

Cheese - Fantastic news you've reached the end of homestudy.  You and Mrs Cheese must be so relieved.  Not long now until panel.

Crazybabe - Glad your Information Evening went well.  So your prep course is in May, so is mine (7th - 9th May).  What date is yours - maybe we can compare notes  

Boomy - I'm pleased the seminar went well and your DH managed to stay awake  

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all well and looking forward to the weekend.

I'm keeping busy waiting for my prep course in May, I've just had the house plastered this week - what a mess it makes    Working full time and then going home to clean the house is hard work!  I was hoping to paint this weekend but not sure I'll be ready  

Does anyone else have anything exciting planned this weekend?  I'm also going to a hypnotist on Saturday night, not to be hypnotist just entertained!  Not sure I believe all that although I can't believe some people would do the things they do if they were "conscience"!

Have a good one  

Love H x


----------



## crusoe

Just checking in with everyone to say "Have a great weekend" we are off to the seaside and the weather looks like it might be ok!!! Hurrah!!!

HFI enjoy the hypnotist! I remember one of those stage shows from Uni - after impersonating a donkey some poor bloke couldn't be brought  round and had to be carted off in an ambulance.
When I did IVF I had some hypnosis sessions - no donkey impressions for me though!!!

Love to all
Crusoe
xx


----------



## Spaykay

sorry guys   no puter, it broke. Be back as soon as poss  

Kay xxx


----------



## saphy75

awww how lovely hun, you got me   

pam xx


----------



## crazybabe

OMG - Feehilyfan

What a wonderful time your having, I can imagine what you were like when your DS shouted "Bye Bye Love you", that was so sweet - I would of lost it too and broke down in tears with joy, I am so very proud of you both and so happy that things have worked out like this for you, you should be very proud of yourselves, you  both deserve all the happyness in the work.

Not long now til you bring the children home with you for good.


----------



## daisyboo

Hi everyone,
Sorry been AWOL been busy with me dad he over his op now sholud be home today, maybe i can relax now NOT,
Well loads of good news flying around here everyone seems to be moving in leaps and bounds, well we are at week 1   of our home study DH has his apt last week and mine is on Thursday really want to get this one out of the way, DH was only meant to last i hr and she was here for 2   luckly i was out couldn't have hid upstairs all that time    so only 9 more visists hopefully and we will be at the stage of mr &mrs Cheese, well done you two SW talking children already, what a fab xmas you will have   Feehilliyfan oh my god what Brilliant news they sound adorable so happy for you, hope you had an equally lovely day today chat soon everyone i'm off to have a nosey round everyone
Love Daisyboo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tibbelt

Hello all!

Sorry just a v. quick note cos I'm at work but I wanted to say hello!

And great news Fee that everything is going so well, bet you can't wait to have your little ones home for goot!    
(p.s. why did your thread get moved? I can't see it any more - hope all ok?)

Hope everyone else is ok and that your weeks have got off to a good start!
lots of love to all
Sarah
xxxxxx


----------



## daisyboo

It's oh so Quiet Shhhhh Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 
Where is everyone


----------



## crazybabe

Hi Feehilyfan

How are you both - glad things are going so well for for, we start our prep course next Tuesday  I wonder how long after prep course our home study will start, I am really looking forward to it as it is another step closer we were told at St.D that the process with them is fairly quick, so fingers crossed.  I have been very lucky for my boss at work to allow me the time off with pay for the prep course - She is so supportive, the course is Tues, Wed and Fri and I am not sure whether or not to book a leave day off on the thursday too, but I am not sure what to do yet, I will either go into work with a banging headache and talk non stop about course, non confidencial stuff, or have a day off chilling.  Not long now hun and you will be bringing the children home - I bet you can't wait.


Hi to everyone else         

Speak soon

crazybabe


----------



## crazybabe

Hi Feehilyfan

They have 3 SW's at St.D I am really looking forward to it now, I will be probably shopping on the weekend looking for something to wear knowing me, I just want to give a good impression and everything to be right for us.

I hope the Sleepover and review goes brill, was your last review ok

Crazybabe


----------



## crazybabe

see you there


----------



## CATICE

Hello everyone,

I have been on the IVF message boards cause I was going through treatment at the start of the year.  It did not work out. I still have some options but in the mean time I though I would try to get some info on adoption.  I know I would have to wait 6-12 months after last IVF to be able to start any process but as I am not at that stage yet I though this is the best time to do some research.  Those of you who are in the middle of the process or even have your adopted children. Is it worth it? Is it as complicated as it sounds in all the literature.  Does seem like it takes ages.  Are any of you in the North West of England.  I am assuming things are different depending on what county you are in.  Any info you can share would be much appreciated I have read about adoption but not heard form any one first hand.  I always think it is better to hear form people who have been though it.

Kat


----------



## Boomy

Fee - Good luck with the first sleepover hunny.  It sounds so exciting.  Can't wait for that to be us.    

Howdy to all the other virgins.  You're keeping very quiet.    What's the news?  

xx


----------



## Suzie

Welcome Kat 

It does vary from county to county but the process is exactly the same , as in home prep and panel etc. The process can be a year or longer. 
Yes it is hard work at times but well worth it 

It might be worthwhile ringing the adoption unit near you and asking them to send you some info 

hope that helps

 to everyone else 
Still waiting to have a sw assigned so we can update our fostering form F ready for adoption panel!
xx


----------



## Tibbelt

I'm still here! boo!   Just been v. busy at work so not had time to post.

Fee - hope the sleep over went well! must be a fantastic feeling to have your children sleeping under your roof!  

Suzie - hope you get your SW soon!    

Kat - yep, I agree with Suzie - well worth sending off for an info pack. Good luck which ever journey you choose    

Mr Cheese - any news on those medicals? When have you got your 2nd opinion visit or have you already had it? Here's hoping the next couple of months go quickly for you!  

CrazyB - enjoy your prep course honey! Tuesday will be here before you know it! And yep - as Fee says, jeans and nice top is perfect! Hope it all goes well honey 

DaisyB - ah your SW sounds like ours, every appointment runs over by at least an hour!!!  But then I think it's good that we all chat so easliy and take it as a good sign! Hope the rest of your HS goes well  

Kay - how are you honey, back online yet? We're missing you!  

Crusoe - hope HS is going well  

Hello to HFI, Cat, Boomy (how did the rest of your seminar go? hope all was good) and anyone I've missed - hope you're all ok and having a good week.

All fine with us, seeing SW again later this week and then only got a couple of appointments to go   Have to be honest and say I'm looking forward to the end of HS! No particular reason as it's not been difficult but just cos I want to get moved onto panel!!  

Take care all
lots of love
Sarah
xxx


----------



## **Heather**

Im here, Im new to both this site and adoption. 
But was told this was a great supportive site so hope to be here a lot. xx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Hi Ladies

Sorry not been about much however we now have to children alseep in their beds upstairs!   everything went great for intros and moving in day too! think we are now all coming down with the "post intro sniffles" so have given the children some meds as well as me and DH! just praying its a little bug! 

 to all

xxx


----------



## crusoe

MJ - so glad all is going well!!!

We are celebrating our s/w gave us a panel date of 21st July today HURRAH!!!!

Love to all virgins
Crusoe
xxx


----------



## Suzie

Welcome Hevs1970  Glad you have found us ! looking forward to reading your journey 

Mj - hope it is just a few sniffles 

Crusoe - fab stuff having a panel date 

x


----------



## Boomy

M J said:


> Sorry not been about much however we now have to children alseep in their beds upstairs!


MJ - Aw hunny, that is wonderful. I'm soooo happy for you.   

Welcome Hevs1970. You will find that FF is an excellent place for support. I love it here.  Good luck with your journey hun.

Crusoe -     Great news hunny.

Tibbelt - The rest of our seminar was excellent. We are just waiting to hear from our SW and then we've got about a month until the next seminar. I'm not sure what happens after that so I guess that'll be my first question for the SW when she comes round.  Pleased to hear you are slowly getting towards the end of your HS. You're nearly there...  

Later alligator, Boomy xx


----------



## HFI

Crusoe - Fantastic news you've got a panel date, you're one step closer  

Hevs1970 - Welcome to FF, as everyone has said it's a great support here.  Someone always has the answer to any question you may have.  Look forward to sharing your journey with you.

Boomy - Glad your seminar went well and you've only got a short wait until the next one.

MJ - It must be a lovely feeling having your little ones at home.  Enjoy!

Tibbelt - Not long now til the end of HS, you'll be at panel in no time at all.  Hope the meeting with your SW goes well at the end of the week.

Suzie - Fingers crossed your SW is assigned very soon.  I didn't realised there could be a delay waiting for a SW.  Is there a huge demand for them in your area?

Kat - Welcome and good luck in whatever you choose to do.

Fee - Hope the sleepover went well, when's the next one?

CrazyB - All the best for Tuesday and your Prep course, mine is on Wed / Thurs and Fri.  Hopefully we'll both really enjoy it.  Bit nervous though, are you?

Hi to everyone else,  I hope you're all well.  It's nearly Friday and then a lovely long weekend   In fact I'm off all week with the Prep course.  Lots of decorating still to do    Not sure what the weather's gonna be like. Fingers crossed for  

Hope everyone has a fab weekend.

Love H x


----------



## Suzie

HFI said:


> Suzie - Fingers crossed your SW is assigned very soon. I didn't realised there could be a delay waiting for a SW. Is there a huge demand for them in your area?


There certainly is. Even our little foster child has had to keep the same sw since he arrived as no sw in the looked after team to take him on!

x


----------



## Lili2008

Hi Everyone

Please may I join you?  We've finally found an agency who will take us on as adopters so we are just starting out.  I've posted on this site a few times before - when I had unsuccessful ICSI at the ARGC in 2004/2005 and then more recently after DH and I decided to give up on fertility treatment and adopt.  

We had a few teething troubles finding an agency (turns out our local authority who we thought didn't want us, did want us after all but that's another story...).  We've now found an agency we really like but two weeks after being told they would take us on, we're still waiting for our application form to drop through the letterbox    Oh well, we've waited this long so we can wait a little longer!  I know it's going to be a slow process.

I'm 38 and DH is 36 and we are applying to adopt a child (possibly two little ones if we are brave enough!) from 0-3. We are supposed to be doing our preparation course in October. 

Hope you don't mind me butting in - I am in desperate need of adoption buddies and would love to chat!

Lots of luck to everyone  

Debbie x


----------



## Boomy

Didn't just want to read and run.  Welcome to the group Debbie and good luck with your adoption plans.   

Boomy xx

 (Bubbles for Debbie & Nicky from me too... )


----------



## **Heather**

We have our information evening in little over a week!!!  Monday 12th May, it seems to have been an eternity since we 1st phoned up and expressed interest in adoption. But it was only 7th April that I persuaded hubby to make the call   It seems so long since then!!.

We have bought quite a few books about adoption, and our bathroom is looking like a library, we both dip in when we have time to sit and contemplate  . 
I will be passing them onto my parents to have a look at, but I have talked about it a lot with them, so they are far more aware of the process now than a few weeks ago (like us really).
But it seems so daunting and scary.  
I wish it were this time next year so we could be that much further on.


----------



## Tarango

hello Virgins,

big welcome to all the newbies  

all the born agains seem to be doing well    lots of positive things happening whooo-hooo   

sorry about the 'me' bit - we have finisged day 3 of prep - excellent course - def makes you think.... the rollercoaster starts again!!  

on a bit of a downer - SW said it could take 6 months to get allocated a Sw - but on the up side - we are used to waiting.... and of course the final outcome..... 

have a lovely bank holiday xxxxxxx

lots of love and  
  
T
xxx


----------



## Boomy

Tarango - Well done on finishing prep. Our seminar definitely made me think more about things too. I actually came away feeling more positive than I have in a long time.
More waiting... just because we are used to it, doesn't make it any easier does it?  



Hevs1970 said:


> I wish it were this time next year so we could be that much further on.


Hevs - Me too.   But as my mum always said..."don't wish your life away". 

Have a nice weekend virgins.  

Boomy xx


----------



## Spaykay

Getting puter back so hope to be back on here very soon! Missed you!

Kay xxx


----------



## Tibbelt

Hello all  

Hope you all had a lovely bank holiday! We spent ours dashing around to see various friends which was lovely and, in between, we're decorating at home! Want to get it all finished before we go to panel   just in case we're lucky enough to get a match quickly   

Kay - glad to hear you'll be back online soon! We've missed you too  

Boomy - oh your mum is so right about not wishing out lives away, not easy to not do with our journies but totally agree that it's important to enjoy life too!  

Hev - welcome on board! And best of luck on your journey   This is a great thread and FF is a great site, packed with first hand experience of both the adoption journey and parenting adopted little ones  - I know I for one would be lost without it! Your info evening is on my birthday so that must be a good omen! Hope it all goes well  

Tarango - congratulations on finishing your course!   Hope your wait for a SW isn't too long and that they find one for you soon  

Nicky - do you start your prep course on the 12th? good luck and hope it goes well (be prepared for them to sound quite off putting, ours had moments that felt overwhelming but they do it on purpose I'm sure to make sure you're committed!   ) Good luck!  

Debbie - good luck   with getting your application in! It's an exciting time! And FYI - it took us a while to find an agency / LA too but it was worth the hunt in the end, ours has been fantastic!  

HFI - how's the decorating going? I seem to end up with more paint on me than on the walls!! Ha ha! Hope all is going well   

Crusoe - congratulation on getting a date for panel!   It feels so exciting doesn't it when ti comes through, starts to feel really real! The 21st July will be here before you know it  

Mr Cheese - hope all's well with you!  

Boomy - you too honey, hope all is well  

Suzie - hope your wait for a SW isn't a long one, will be lovely when it's all done and dusted and littlie is home for good!

MJ - hope you're enjoying every minute of being a mummy and that the sniffles have been kept at bay!  

Fee - you too honey, are your littlies home now? Must feel amazing to have them home! Hope all is going well  and that you're enjoying being a mummy!  

Hello to anyone I've missed - hope you're all having a good week! 

All's good with us, we had a great meeting with our SW last week and we have formally said that we'd like to be considered for 1 or 2 children under the age of 4. Feels so exciting  
2 more home visits to go and then our 2nd opinion visit and then panel!! Can't wait for July to get here!
Lots to look forward to at the moment though, my birthday next Monday and my sis is coming down for a weekend of shopping and champagne! Can't wait!!  

Have a good week all 
lots of love
Sarah
xxx


----------



## crazybabe

Hello all

Well our first day of our prep course is over, went really well, a lot of information to take on board but it was very interesting, I think we are going to be more envolved tomorrow - It feel's so strange though - feel like we are bring observed and my husband and I are very quiet when it come to talking out load in front of lots of people - Do anyone know, have you got to pass this stange before home study or is it just a case that everyone get through prep course and not a case of passing the course.

Hope everyone is well, sorry it's short tonight but I am feeling so tired after all the concentating today.

Speak soon

crazybabe


----------



## Tibbelt

Hi Crazybabe,

Sorry honey, I didn't realise you'd started prep course today! It is exhausting and I remember feeling exactly as you describe   Our SW has since told us that yep - they are observing everyone on the course (in fact, we joked that the official term for a group of SW's should be a huddle    because every time we went back into the room after a break they were all huddled together whispering!!), but only to an extent so try not to worry about it! It's their first chance to get a feel for the kind of people you are as much as it is a chance for you to get a feel for them   Lots of people don't like talking in public and any good SW will understand that - and they won't judge you for it! Just be yourselves and you'll be fine honey! Our SW said that they watch people so that they can decide which SW takes which case too so it's not a bad thing and I don't think I've ever heard of anyone not going onto HS after prep so try not to fret

Take care and get a good night's sleep - I know I found prep exhausting and we had a weekend in the middle of ours! Think of every minute as a step nearer your family and it feels less overwhelming that way!  

Sending you lots of    
Lots of love
Sarah
xxx


----------



## crazybabe

Hi Tibbelt

Thanks hun - yes it is exhausting, but we are thinking positive because it is another step closer to getting our little one    perhaps I will feel more comfortable tomorrow talking in a group - I have this fear of saying something out load to a large group of people and making a fool of myself - we were told that we will be given a formal application form on Fri last day of prep and for us to tell the SW if we are still wanting o go ahead, YES YES YES, and then they will make arrangements for the HS to start etc.

Hope everything goes well for you.

keep me updated and I will do too

crazybabe


----------



## Boomy

Tibbelt said:


> we had a great meeting with our SW last week and we have formally said that we'd like to be considered for 1 or 2 children under the age of 4. Feels so exciting


Tibbelt -    It sounds so exciting. Good on you hunny.  

Crazybabe - I wouldn't worry about not talking too much in the group. Just be yourselves, that is what the SW wants to see. I must admit we didn't talk a helluva lot at our seminar. Just asked one question and made a couple of comments. That's us though, we are both pretty quiet  (until you get to know us ). There were others in the group who could talk the hind leg off a donkey.   

Kay - Can't wait to hear from you again. You must have heaps of news for us... it's been ages.   

Boomy xx


----------



## Spaykay

I'm Back!

Feehilly - just asked about your babies on the other thread...so pleased their home! I'll try to catch up on everything bit by bit.

Kay xxx


----------



## Boomy

Kay - 

Fee - Great to hear from you hun (thanks for the PM), we'd all been wondering how you were getting on. Great news about the littlies.   

My update - We were sposed to see the GP yesterday to get our medical checks done, but DH came down with food poisoning and is 'dying'  so I had to reschedule. Our SW is visiting us next Thursday, just to follow up on any questions from the first seminar. As for the wedding, I've got the wedding bands, and booked the celebrant and accommodation. Hoping to organise the dressmaker in the next few days. I'm getting a bit excited about it all now.   

Boomy xx


----------



## crazybabe

Hi Girlies

Well it's the 03rd and last day today for our prep course, it has gone really well, so interesting and such an eye opener - I am not really sure exactly what is next I know we will be given the application form today etc.

Hope your all well and those journeys going well to, good luck everyone.

Love

crazybabe


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Hello all,

Crazybabe, once you have that form, fill it all in and send it back to your agency.
Then you will have to wait for contact from them, and to appoint a Social Worker for you to carry out the assessment/home study.We put together our own file together for the Adoption, with everything we had done, which was great as if the Social Worker asked for information on various stuff we just went straight to our Adoption file, sometimes you can cover old ground on the process so it is worth doing this

Good bit of advice to, photo copy your application as we had to go back to it a few times for information throughout the homestudy, 

And then off you go, you will be on the Adoption road.

We found the prep course great, your right it is an eye opener but i think it is good for you to prepare for what lie's a head off you.


Glad you enjoying it

Take care Cheese


----------



## Spaykay

Hi guys

Boomie - awwww thanks for the piccie

I'm just perving over Justin Timberlake! I got a really nice cuddle today. I teach in a Nursery but a teacher's grandson is in as her daughter is 7 months pg and resting coz she's gone into labour and has to stay in bed, sooo, her 2 year old is in our class. He throws a strop at nap time so I held him and he just came in for a huge hug and fell asleep. I took advantage and had a lovely bug cuddle awwww...then had to put him down coz my back ached  

Nicky - don't think we've met.  

Kay xxx


----------



## crazybabe

Hi Cheese

Thanks for the infor on our next stage, it was our 03rd and final day of the prep course today, we found it very interesting - the people on our course were fab, we all got on really well - we were given hand outs of the prep course for future reference - Like you said we have to wait for our application form know and forms for CRB checks etc.

Hope your ok - are you doing anything over the weekend!!

take care

crazybabe


----------



## Tibbelt

Where'd everyone go   Hope you're all ok and enjoying this gorgeous weather!

CrazyBabe - so glad prep course went well, that's anoher step done and dusted!   Have 
you sent in your forms yet?

Nicky - how was last night? hope all went well and that you found the evening useful!  

Kay - how's you honey? That cuddle sounds lovely! They're so cute at that age (I know I shouldn't say it but my friend was round with her newborn this weekend, she's cute but goodness they don't do much!    Her eldest daugher who is 2 and half is much more fun!! Am kind of glad I probably won't have to do the complete newborn bit... is that bad of me!    )

Mr Cheese - hope you and Mrs Cheese are well  

 to everyone else!

Well we have had a fab and lovely weekend - it was my birthday yesterday (older but soooo not wiser! ha ha!   ) so we celebrated with friends and family all weekend! Was wonderful, but so don't want to be back at work today! urgh!! Still only 4 days til the weekend!! yippee!!   Yep - I know, I'm a bit   ... think the sun must have got to me!!)

lol to all
Sarah
xxxx


----------



## Spaykay

Sarah - I was wondering were everyone was too...been missing you all! I totally get the new born baby thinig hun and yes you're allowed to say that! I keep looking at 1 and 2 year olds and love the way they wobble when they walk...reckon I'm fine widding out on the real baby bit (although I know bonding may be easier but no choice really I guess)

DH is gonna ring the people about the adoption in 2 weeks if we've haven't heard anything...not sure that's the done thing but I'm bored!  

OMG just got message on answer phone...courses start in June...can't believe it...am currently crying! You must all be a good omen!

Kay xxx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Kay, strike while the Iron is hot i say, us men do totally get involved with the whole process, well i did but i  to chat the Social Worker more than DW does, which gets on her nerves abit, lol

My DW still really wants the baby thing although there are not so many babies up for Adoption, i would love a couple of toddlers running around making a mess everywhere and knackering us both out.
I think you also look at different age groups when you are going through the process, and DW has certainly warmed to the idea of a toddler.

How is everybody else, its a bit quiet here at the moment!!

Cheese


----------



## Suzie

Cheshire Cheese said:


> My DW still really wants the baby thing although there are not so many babies up for Adoption, i would love a couple of toddlers running around making a mess everywhere and knackering us both out.
> I think you also look at different age groups when you are going through the process, and DW has certainly warmed to the idea of a toddler.


Having always thought if we were to look at adoption I would like the baby age but now in the process of adopting a toddler, I have completely changed my mind  
My little man is at such a lovely age  and have no concerns with adopting a 2yr old 

Spaykay -  glad you have your course dates 

Cheese- nearly there 

Nicky - have a glass for me 

 to all

Still waiting to be allocated a sw to update our fostering form F so we can get panel booked 

x


----------



## Spaykay

Mmmmmmm Nicky wiiiiiiine......hmmmm....maybe I had enough tonight celebrating though  

Cheesey - have you got your cupboards screwed to the wall for any toddlers? I was always planning on having a year to prepare for that but....if they come at walking stage EEEEEEEEEK!

Thanks everyone for the words...can't wait to get started, thise 2 months of waiting for the 1st call seem like nothing now!

Kay xxx


----------



## crazybabe

Hi Tibbelt


How are you hun, we only received the application package this morning, so we have started filling it in (On Rough paper first) I am so excited though, I know we have to get approved first but its a really positive step forward for us.

Take care

Speak to you tomorrow, I'm shattered now

crazybabe


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

SpayKay, we have got a list of things to do at home and even more now are Conservatory has been done. 
You have a health safety check in your house which highlights what you need   , i suppose you need need this as our house needs to be more child friendly.

Tibbelt- you are doing the right thing doing it rough first and remember to photocopy your application once you have done it as we went   
back to ours a few times for information  

Susie:- I think aged 2 is a great age, and they sure keep you busy just like my niece does


----------



## crazybabe

Hi Everyone

Well we have almost completed our application form some parts are a bit confusing (the chronology questions) I have to look for a recent photo of both my hubby and I to send with the form and consent forms for CRB checks etc, how are you all

crazybabe


----------



## Spaykay

Crazybabe - well done on getting the application done, it feels so exciting when you hand it in!

Cheesey - oooo a conservatory, how posh! Bet it's been lovely with the sunshine you've all had!

Hope everyone is well.

Kay xxx


----------



## Tibbelt

Hello all!  

Oh where did the sun go??   It's horrid here today and I came to work in open toed shoes! My feet were drenched within minutes of getting out of the car  

Crazybabe - well done on getting the application in!   That's great news! I can't believe you have to write it by hand though!   We (luckily, cos my handwriting is tiny and no so neat!) typed up all ours and they gave us electronic forms to complete! So much easier   Might be worth asking them if they can give you electonic forms as there's a lot of writing by hte time you get to homestudy!!

Kay - CONGRATULATIONS on getting a date for prep! Wonderful news!  

Nicky - think you asked where we were in the process, we've nearly finished homestudy - all the official stuff is done so there's just 1 session left to reveiw and last bits! Panel should be, fingers crossed   , 1st July! Glad you found the evening useful - they do tend to bombard you with info I know but part of it is about making sure you'er committed so hang on in there!   

Mr Cheese - ah the H&S check! Our SW srung our on us yesterday (wasn't supposed to be doing it until end month!! So I hadn't even tidied up! Arghh!!   All fine though, phew!  

Hello to everyone else - sorry, between meetings at work and dashing like a mad thing! 
Lots of love to all
Sarah
xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Charlotte - welcome to the thread hun!

Nicky - We heard about intercountry adoption on day one of our training course. There were a fair chunk of the 60 who attended going down that route and that surprised us. It seemed like they wanted the ideal - young and healthy children. It's made me question our resolve and desire to adopt locally. We want to give 2 local children (preferably siblings) a second chance in life..  just a question hun...I'm a bit thick! What's intercountry? Does that mean at home or abroad? Is it abroad? We're adopting abroad and we've been informed that the children will most probably be malnutritioned and there's no guarentee of health. I'm not worried about the comment but just wondered what info you were given on your course?

Kay xxx


----------



## crazybabe

Hi Nicky

How are you hun, well I finally completed our application form, was still completing it at 2 o clock this morning, but its in the post now      so I will have to wait patiently now for the phone call when we allocated a SW at St. D I am starting to feel very excited, I know we have to be approved 01st but its such a positive step for us and I can't wait for us to be a mummy and daddy, I have been thinking all day at work what decision to make with regards to adopting 1 or 2 children, I know it would be really difficult to manage 2 but at least they wouldn't be split up from their sibling, if we adopted a siblings though I would like a boy and girl, I have always wanted a girl but we haven't told the SW that we said we were open to girl or boy ages 0-5. Any advice on 1 or 2 children I suppose we will have to weight up all the pros and cons first and think of it financially.


Take care, keep in touch

crazybabe


Well sorry for the me post, I'm excited


----------



## Spaykay

Crazybabe! I love the you you you post...it's so exciting and here id the place to write it all!  

Kay xxx


----------



## HFI

Hi everyone

Sorry I've been AWOL for a bit, I've been doing my homework - and really enjoyed it I'm pleased to say    Found the Genogram and Chronology really interesting.  Amazing how dysfunctional our families are  

DH and I went on our prep course last week, we really enjoyed it which most people seem to.  It was a real eye opener but great coz it gives you a good understanding of what lies ahead.  Got a bit emotional when listening to the guest speakers but I think that's cool too.  Got an interview with the course facilitators next Thursday so hopefully that will go well.  Will keep you posted.

Crazybabe - Really pleased you enjoyed your prep course.  Sounds like you're waiting to start your homestudy.  The process is a bit different where I live, I have to go on another course before I can start homestudy - bit of a pain.  I'm like you trying to decide on whether to go for 1 or 2 children but I love the idea of having a brother/sister or 2 children that are related to each other.  At least they will have each other and can stay together.  Good luck with your journey, we're almost gonna be running parallel with each other  

Nicky - Sorry to hear you're having some doubts but great that you're able to discuss them here with us.  Good luck with your decisions.  I'm glad you enjoyed your course on Monday.  Take care.

Fee - Great news re: the little one's.  How's things been this week.  Been doing any fun things?

Sarah - Happy belated birthday for last Monday.  Glad you had a great time celebrating  

Kay - Pleased to hear you've got a date for your prep course.  It's only next month, the time will fly by.

Suzie - Hope your sw gets allocated soon.  Waiting is so difficult isn't it?

Charlotte - Welcome to the adoption thread.  Hope panel goes ahead as planned and things go well for you.

Mr Cheese - Hope you and Mrs Cheese are ok and enjoying child proofing your house  

Hi to anyone I may of missed.  Hope you're all ok.

Have a great weekend and speak next week.  Fingers crossed the sun will come out again very soon  

Love H x


----------



## Tibbelt

Hello ladies & Mr Cheese!  

Nicky - don't be put off by the info SS's give you - they will, from my experience, try to initally push you to consider older children as so sadly there are so many who are currently looked after and in need of loving stable homes but as you say there are many different issues to consider in going for older children - this doesn't mean that there aren't going to be issues with younger children but they have not, in theory, had as long to embed themselves and should therefore, in theory, be easier to overcome. 2 main issues - 1: so much of this is theory - as with any child, birth or adopted, there is no way of knowing what the future holds and as a parent, birth or adopted, I believe we need to be ready to accept this and prepared for whatever may come (there an adage of 'prepare for the worst and hope for the best' - one I remind myself of often!!     ) 2: in adopting a child (or children) you have to be 10000% honest with yourself and with your SW - DH & I know for example that we really do want pre-school age children, it is really important to us that we have time with them at home to bond and become a real family - to the point that if we do end up with school age children then we will seriously consider keeping them off school for a time so that we can do this.
Social services have a responsibility to prepare you and to test you - they need to know that you are ready in every way to adopt and whilst, I believe, 90% of being an adoptive parent is the same as being a birth parent (such as providing a loving, caring, safe environment etc etc) there is that 10% which is different and it's about things like contact and identity and overcoming previous hurts and, in many cases, unknown medical issues where you don't nencessarily have the family history to provide information. These are all things to consider but none are unsurmountable.

We looked at intercountry (international) adoption and FYI - the IAC run an excellent 1 day course but it's true that whilst many people assume that they'll get a perfect tiny baby from this route it sadly isn't always the case and there are a lot of unknown factors (particularly in the medical areas) because often so little is known about the child and their history. Finaly after some time (almost a year) we found a LA who were willing to take us on as a white couple wanting to adopt young children - it was worth the wait and the effort it took to find them. This is a committment for life and you have to be determind   but in all honesty, our journey has been brilliant so far - apart from the odd moment of feeling   when they decided they wanted to try to find my ex-H for example and a few moments of feeling overwhelmed by the sorts of issues we could face (remember what I said about prepare for the worst and hope for the best!     ) it has been a joy. And now, more than ever we know that this is what we want, it is what is meant for us. We consider ourselves very lucky to be on this journey and hope and   that we are approved and can start to look for our family. Sorry - I've waffled on   but just wanted you to know that the feelings you are having are perfectly normal and don't let yourself be pushed into doing something you don't feel is right for you. And the girls (and boys!) on here are just fab so remember you're never alone - there's always an ear or shoulder!

HFI - well done on completing prep course! It's such great place to be when you know you're moving onto HS! Have thy told you when you'll be allocated a SW and start? Sending you lots of     that you don't have a long wait!

Crazybabe - you too honey, sending you lots and lots of     that you can start HS soon! re the 1 or 2 children debate - FYI: we've asked to be approved for either which can now be done (you used to have to decide) so we've some flexibility as there are pro's and cons to both but we reckoned we'd let fate decide as we couldn't!  

Charlotte - sending you tons and tons of     for panel, I'm jealous! Wish ours was june rather than july (patience is not my strongest virtue!!    )

Kay - Hello honey! Hope all's well with you! How many days til your course now? (I know you'll be counting!   ) Hope the time passes quickly for you.

Fee - so glad all is going well with your little ones! How does being a mummy feel, hope it's everything you hoped for and more  

Mr Cheese - hows the child proofing going?! We'd said that we won't do it until we've been approved (I'm scared of tempting fate!  ) but maybe we should start.. we're in the middle of decorating and it's chaos at the moment!!!   

hope you've all got something lovely planned for the weekend - I'm off to Yorkshire to see my family! Have a great one!
Lots of love
Sarah
xxx


----------



## Tibbelt

Nicky - we posted at the sametime!

People going down the intercountry adoption route here in the UK have to pay for their HS etc themselves - costs about £4.5k in total last time we looked into it but then you can often expect to pay something (if not quite the same or smiliar) in the country you're adoption from! It's not cheap!!   

Fee - oh honey, it all sounds so wonderful! Well done on being Mummy alone for the first day!!!   

lol
S
xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Just realiised how many posts I've missed and thought noone had posted  

Nicky thanks for the info hun. Don't worry about any more as I was just interested that on your course people have been told that intercoutry adoption means a healthy child being adopted...perhaps I misunderstood? I know that we have been well informed that there are no guarentees (which is fine by us) but was surprised to hear that advice.   Not that it affects anyone but I'm just being nosey  
DId you get your jobs areound the house done? I'm supposed to be doing some too BOOOOOO!

Fee - did DD enjoy nursery? How did your day alone go?


Sarah - just read your post, very interesting - what you wrote sounds far more like what we've been informed. We have been on the internet finding out about ages, health, time, cost etc etc. and I found nowhere that says young babies are adopted, many countries will not allow adoption of a child until they are of a certain age, which is one reason we're looking at Ethiopia as I think younger children (younger than 2/3) can be adopted...not entirely sure yet though. It may be different over here though as the process takes us so long, England may be quicker?

Sorry to waffle on about adoption from abroad but at the mo I'm the only one I know doing it on here so it interest me to hear about it  

HFI - glad everything's moving on hun and hope Thursday goes well.

Hope everyone is getting on well, we all have so much exciting news at the moment it feels lovely in here  

Kay xxx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Hi ya all!!

Tibbelt, we are doing the child proofing bits a bobs at the mo as we are doing lots all together although we are holding off on anthing major but it makes the house more child friendly when our Neices are down.

Whats everybody else up to

Cheese


----------



## Spaykay

Hey there Cheesey, get your neices to go crazy and hunt out any things that need doing   They'd enjoy it!

Kay xxx


----------



## Spaykay

Awwww bless him, what about if you leave the door a little ajar so that he can't see you but feels that he's not shut out ( mean by the door, not you!)? What a sweetie.

kay xxx


----------



## Spaykay




----------



## daisyboo

Hi Allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll,
I'm a footie widow at the mo  so have been busy nosing around on Comp, to those of you going through HS how many visists did you get in all? our SW said she cld get our HS done in 10wks so far we have had 4 visits in total with another on Monday we try to get her here once a week, we thought once aweek for 10 wks fine but then when we were chatting about adoption she said "well if itmeans me having to visit you half a dozen times to get your family" well surley it's not that quick i know when she is here for an hour it ends up being 2hrs because we get on well and can't shut up.
I just think it's seems to be going really well and really quickly,i'm itching to get going on the spare room i just have this feeling that it's all going to happen really quickly, she keeps saying that there are plenty of children coming into thew system, there are plenty around  she hasn't interviewed our referes yet anyone give a timescale 

Mr Cheese how far into yr H/S did she mention Panel? good idead let your nieces run loose they will soon pick up on anyhting you haven't child proofed 

Feehilfan How lovely it is to read about your DS and DD hope your all having fun

Love to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

feehilyfan said:


> i do leave the door ajar but he keeps trying to peek in and look at my lady bits


In our house my DS tends to chose this time to want to sit on my lap and DD comes too! i dont get to go to the loo or anywhere alone now! - in our house we dont shut doors at all!

xxx


----------



## Spaykay

bless

Kay xxx


----------



## Spaykay

we're like that too, although trying to train DH to shut door when making a smell! 

Kay xxx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

feehilyfan said:


> lol - nice and friendly house then - don't be offended if I don't come and visit you - wouldn't want to visit the loo for you to come and join me to brush your teeth or something


Oh iots only open door for us as in DH, me and the children- we have a bathroom inc toilet upstiars which is for us and downstairs we have a loo! and i cant be faffed to shut the door!

xx


----------



## Spaykay

I sometimes forget when I'm at a friends and don't lock  

Kay xxx


----------



## **Heather**

Tibbelt said:


> Hello ladies & Mr Cheese!
> 
> 1: so much of this is theory - as with any child, birth or adopted, there is no way of knowing what the future holds and as a parent, birth or adopted, I believe we need to be ready to accept this and prepared for whatever may come (there an adage of 'prepare for the worst and hope for the best' - one I remind myself of often!!    ) 2: in adopting a child (or children) you have to be 10000% honest with yourself and with your SW - DH & I know for example that we really do want pre-school age children, it is really important to us that we have time with them at home to bond and become a real family - to the point that if we do end up with school age children then we will seriously consider keeping them off school for a time so that we can do this.


I totally agree with this.
For 2 reason, I gave birth to a normal healthy baby girl 3 yrs ago, and apart from being born with a fractured collar bone (birth trauma they said) she was fine, until she was about 6 weeks oldand stopped moving her limbs, and to cut a long story short, we lost our girl at 6 months, to a genetic terminal muscle wasting condition. We are both carriers and had never even heard of it until after her diagnosis.
It was picked up on a DNA test, so nothing in scans would have showed it. 
So even though we had this beautiful perfect girl, this condition showed itself and the uncertainty of her future all came with it. We had 8 weeks with her after they told us it was terminal with no cure. 
This is just trying to show that regardless of whether they are birth or adopted, the future can always be uncertain and I agree with prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

I also feel exactly the same about wanting pre school children, I want time to bond with them before they go to school and had said to my husband that if they were school age, then I would like to keep them out of school to give us time as family to get used to each other before thye are in school for hours 5 days a week. 
Its made me feel better than Im not the only one to feel like that


----------



## Tibbelt

all!

Hope you all had a great weekend! I was up in Yorkshire seeing my family - my poor Dad is very poorly - he's been fighting cancer for 3 years and has just started his 3rd round of chemo. Was quite shocking to see how frail he looks but he perked up a bit as the weekend went on so hopefully he'll be on the mend soon (chemo always knocks it out of him). But it was still a lovely weekend - just nice to be home with everyone   Took my mum to the cinema to see Made of Honour (total chic-flic but v. funny!) and snook in little bottles of champagne   so that was nice!

Hev- wow you've been busy on the boards! Lovely to see you posting, the boards are great aren't they! our SW recommended the adoption UK boards too but to be honest I much prefer it here - I find it so much more positive and friendly!   And no - you're not alone in your feelings!

Fee & MJ - The loo talk made my   I never lock the door and often talk to DH whilst on the loo! Yes - I'm   I know!!  Wonderful to hear you both talking about your little ones!   So glad you're enjoying being mummies!

Daisyboo - wow! your SW does sound like she's moving fast! that's great   We've had a total of 9 visits and just have 1 left to go - we started HS in Jan and are due to finish later this month! Like oyu our appointments always run to 2 or more hours because we chat so much but I really like the fact that our SW feels like a friend too, makes it all so much nicer!   

Mr (and Mrs) Cheese - happy child-proofing! My DH came home with plug covers at the weekend - they were on offer at the supermarket! Feels nice to think we might need them!  

Kay - international adoption takes ages here too - about 4-5 years from start to finish is what we were told. It is a long time but it'll be worth it - hang on in there honey!   

Nicky - did you get your DH to read the baords at the weekend? Hope he found them useful if you did and that you're both feeling a bit more settled in your minds  

Crazybabe - hope you get allocated your SW soon!    

HFI - how did Thursday go? hope all went well.    

Hello to Crusoe, Charlotte and anyone I've missed! Hope you're all ok and having a good start to the week!

Lots of love to all
Sarah
xxx


----------



## suedulux

Hellp  peeps 

just  popped in to say hi .  hoping to investigate  adoption  when we  come back from hol  end of  june .

Hope ya all doing  well  .  


Luv  Sue


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Tibbelt which supermarket were they from, might be interested in the offer!!

Sue, it will be nice to have you onboard... but you have to make sure you have that orange top on in your profile so as we know its you we are speaking too!!!, lol.

Oh its all exciting, isn't it

great weather down here too today


----------



## Tibbelt

Hi Mr Cheese - it was Asda's - 87p for 12 covers!   DH also said that they'd got offers on fire extinguishers (about £8 I think) so we need to go back and get one of those!
Hope all good with you and yep - weather better here today too!  

Sue - welcome on board! It' such an exciting time starting out isn't it! Have a wonderful holiday and look forward to getting started when you get back!  

Hi to everyone else - hope you're all having a good Tuesday!
lots of love
S
xxx


----------



## NuttyJo

hello everyone! sorry ive been a stranger lately and for the lack of personals   

hope you;re all good and not having too much of a wait etc!    

just wondered what kind of safety issues the sw's will be looking at in the home? i want to get as much childproofing done as poss before hs to hopefully move things on a bit quicker   and i know im maybe tempting fate here but ive already started sorting our spare room out ready for a potention foster kiddie and also got a few bits for both boys and girls in the cupboard ready   

love jo xxx


----------



## Tibbelt

Jo - it's a long form with lots of tick boxes - there's all the usual stuff around locked cupboards for medicine, bleach etc, socket covers, fire extinguisher and fire blanket, stair gates, locks on windows, fireguard if you have an open fire etc etc. There's also a check of the garden (that tools etc can be locked away), central heating check, car check (need your up to date MOT and insurance certificates)... think that's about it. It feels like a lot when you first look at the form but actually it's not that much and we've put not yet but will do for quite a few things (i.e. we're not putting stair gates up until we're matched etc as it's not possible to pre-empt exactly what's needed without knowing the age of the child and I don't want to live in a child-proofed house until we know we've been matched)

hope that helps
S
xxx


----------



## NuttyJo

thanks tibbelt, least i know where to start now! am lucky as i have some things in place as we had them for my nieces and nephew. will it matter that we have storage heaters though? its been worrying me as they get rather hot when we use them and a kiddie would definitely burn themselves   does anyone know if i can get covers suitable for them?

thank you! xxx


----------



## Tibbelt

Sorry honey, can't help you with storage heaters much as I've never had them but had a quick look online and maybe you could put in something like this to at least cover them: www.salixonline.co.uk/rads/storage.html or on this site you can design your own: www.yorkshireradiatorcovers.co.uk Just remember that for storage heaters you seem to need a hinged lid so you can get to the controls.

and probably worth looking on ebay too as I'm sure you'd find them cheaper on there

hope that helps
S
xxx


/links


----------



## **Heather**

My Sis in law, was told by her health visitor, when their son started crawling, to get down on the floor and look round the room, to see what is at eye level, and assess how dangerous it would be to a littlie. But I guess as we dont know the age of the children coming to us all (hopefully) its not so easy to assess  . 

Seemed like I good idea when I started typing this post


----------



## NuttyJo

awww that was a good idea hevs dont worry! im applying to foster 0-5yrs at the mo so i could do with doing that actually, thanks!   

and thanks for that link tibbelt, looks good! least they dont look too ugly unlike the heaters lol


----------



## **Heather**

Oooh thats good, I dont feel such a pillock now


----------



## Tibbelt

Hevs - that's a great idea! (and thanks for the Pm's - lovely to chat!    ) DH will think I've gone totally loopy when he finds me crawling round the house but it's the best way to spot these things isn't it (and to find the dust under the sofa!!   )

Nicky - oh thank you honey, glad I'm of use! And glad you and DH are feeling calmer! The training can be intense can't it - I find a glass of wine immediately on getting home helped! ha ha! Oh no you girls are going to think I   loads... I don't, promise! Good that you're making friends with people on the course - there were only a small number on ours but I know just what you mean about the feeling of competition!    
So sorry to head about your Dad honey, I know he'll be looking down on you with such pride and joy  

Jo - no worries honey, as you say they're not too bad looking (we have a huge radiator in our hall which I'm thinking of hiding, would definately look better!)

right I'm off - am at work and ought to be getting finished up and  getting home! have a lovely evening all
lots of love
Sarah
xxx


----------



## Boggy

Hi - sorry non-virgin posting! 

I saw your chat regarding radiator covers. we had major probs getting one, but eventually found this:

http://www.safetots.co.uk/627.htm

Ordered one and it seems really good, but not used it properly yet!

Bx

P.S. Should also say that it was ideal for us because there isn't much room between the radiator and space the door moves across when closing - a box type cover would have meant we couldn't shut the door.

(mod insert disclaimer here!!!  )

[red]This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites[/red]


----------



## Suzie

Hiya

If you have storage heaters Jo I am guessing they will want you to get them covers for them. We have radiators which are ok but had a plug in heater in our conservatory and we had to get rid of it. 

Also you need locks on cupboards etc and a little fire extinguisher/blanket for the kitchen. 
I cant think of anything else that they were really concerned about. Also a lock if you have a garden gate etc 

Will have a think of anything else they asked us to do 

 to all
suzie xx


----------



## Camly

hi all

sorry i have been abit quiet recently - havent had anything to report but been keeping up to date with everyone's news.

glad you are all doing ok, alot virgins here now!  

we eventually had an emailed (after 1 month of sending formal application) to confirm they are trying to allocate a SW'er to us for us to start the homestudy process. Hopefully we dont have to wait that long.  

hope everyone is doing well. x x x x


----------



## daisyboo

Ohh this is a good subject well i asked my SW out right yesterday when she thinks we will finish HS she said their is still abit to do and it wouldn't be enough time to get ready for panel in July  i did tell her to work harder  (she is lovely) she told me that she didn't think they did panel in August so we are looking at september       , we also asked her about what we need to get done before panel We need a bannister put up and decoration, she said as long as the bannister is put up before panel nothing elkse matters as i will write in your form that you are improving the house to accomodate a child as she said you will be approved but you may not be matched for ages, but on the flip side you could be matched straight away ,

Do any of you know if it is ok to have a pond even though we will kiddie proof it


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

NickyB71 said:


> We've already made some good friends on the course, although I can't help seeing some of them as potential 'competition' as we're going for more or less the same criteria.. We'll cross that bridge if and when we come to it I guess!


I just had to reply when i read this, you may be saying same things like 1-2 children 0-5yrs for eg however you will all have differant things to offer a child/ren with your life experiances ect, our 2 are under 4 and i worried that someone i know could have been a potential for them however i know for FACT that they were never one of the couples who's form F was put forward due to our little one's needs- our 2 are so alike me and DH is scary!

xxx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Hi ya,
daisydoo i am sure you can still have pond as long as you childproof it but they will highlight it early on so as your mind will be at rest.

Camly:- hope things start moving for you soon, nothing worse than than the waiting game.

Oh got a few ideas off this thread too


----------



## crazybabe

Hi MJ

How are you, hows the 2 littles one getting on, hope they are settling in well, you must be so proud to have them -I hope you don't mind me asking the follow questions but we have a big decision to make, as you know we are just at the begining of the adoption process, completed our prep course, completed formal application form, consent forms etc, we just waiting to hear from SW now to let us know when we have been allocated a SW, anyway - we have a very big decision tges 0-5 or siblings (Bro + Sister would be nice) but we have to discuss with our SW various things and if we could get a adoption allowance to help us as this will help us make a decision, we would love to adopt siblings as during the prep course they were telling us about siblings getting split up and how emotional it must be for the children, we also thought that at least the siblings would have each other to bond with also and it would make thing a bit easier for contacts etc, I know it wouldn't be easy bringing up to but as long as we financially ok we could manage, I am just after a little bit of advice really.

Much love

crazybabe


----------



## Spaykay

Have a good holiday Sue.

Kay xxx


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Sorry to jump in Crazybabe,

Your SW will discuss this with you in detail, some children even come with an Adoption Allowance already, but you can ask an SW when you are matched to apply for this Allowance, this is normally means tested i think and i am sure the maxium figure i have read is about £60.00 per week and that is included with your child benefit, but i am sure M J knows the ins and outs.

Some LA's also give out a one off payment to begin with the child/children to help pay for bedding/beds, clothing etc. 

We will be looking at the AA too, as we are looking at Siblings and DW is going part time, so we could do with a boost too.
Lots to kit them out with to begin with.

Don't quote me on any of this though, just the bits i have read

Cheese


----------



## NuttyJo

lots of info going on here! love it!   

can i ust ask, as i wont be adopting yet but am fostering, i know i get paid for doing that part but do you think i would be able to apply for a grant thing to buy some of the bigger items i would need, such as a bed and carseat etc? (suzie?!!   )

thanks everyone!

xxx


----------



## Suzie

Jo

When a placement moves in you are allowed an initial expense allowance to buy items such as carseats, pushchair etc depending on what age the child/children are. I am not sure if you are agency or LA . I am LA and I know we get this, can't say for agency but would have thought it was the same. When we were approved we emailed our sw the details of what we wanted to buy and she agreed it and sorted it out with the shop and we went to pick it up  Agency might not have such accounts with store so you might have to pay it out first and receive it back
We also got an allowance for equipment for the house such as stairgates and beds. We get the initial allowance everytime we get a placement as we are also on the emergency rota and only get sometimes an hours notice for a child and sometimes they come with only what they stand in ( thank goodness for 24 hour supermarkets  ) 
My advice to you is to have childs toothbrush and toothpaste in and also a few sets of PJ's in different ages 
If a baby arrives the sw should bring a few essentials such as nappies until you can get reasonably get some 


Still waiting for a SW to help us update our form F for adoption panel!   they said max 6 weeks and ummmm its gone that! Will ring them today to chase! No sitting around here 

 and love to all
suzie x


----------



## Cheshire Cheese

Nicky, good news all around there for you 2.

No harm in making an enquirie although it is something that comes up later on, usually when you have been matched with a child/children, they can also award it with children with certain disabilities where on going support or medical treatment may be needed in the future. 

Weldone for you new job too, all things are looking up at the moment for you, great

Cheese


----------



## Spaykay

Nicky - great news on the job hun!

Kay xxx


----------



## crazybabe

Hi 

CONGRATULATIONS on your new job - thats really good news at least you won't have to get up so early in the mornings now (for work anyway), How are you, guess what we received our Medical forms today from ST. D and the three people who we put down for references have received their reference forms today too, YIPEEEEE.

I was quite cheesed off though I rang our GP and asked to book an appointment for both my DH and I for our medicals, explained  they were for adoption and we need the appointments ASAP the nearest date they had was 3 weeks time so I weren't very impressed with them, I have to ring back tomorrow to speak to someone else. I hope this won't delay us starting our H/S

We haven't heard if we have been allocated a SW yet though, but I should imagine it should be long, how impatient am I 

Where are you going on holiday - Have a wonderful time

takce care

crazybabe


----------



## Spaykay

Crazybabe

Great news hun but 3 weeks is a bit pants, norty people   It'll fly by though.

I'm ill in bed  

Kay xxx


----------



## Suzie

Sorry to hear you are poorly Spaykay , hope you get better soon 

Nicky -  great news on the new job  and no early mornings now!! 

We finally have a SW ! I rang the adoption unit yesterday and we had been allocated one over a week ago but she hasn't contacted us yet ! Bet she will now 

x


----------



## Spaykay

Suzie WOOHOOOOOO!







Great news hun! Hope she/he gets of their bum soon and calls you!

Kay xxx


----------



## Suzie

Murphys law she called today when I was out   and I called her back and she was out of the office  will try again tomorrow 

xx


----------



## Spaykay

Grrrrrrr...hope you find each other soon! Does she not have your mobile number?  

Kay xxx


----------



## Suzie

Mobile numbers  I do live in tractorland you know 

She called this morning and is coming on tuesday  She sounded really nice and down to earth on the phone so  

Hope everyone has good weekends 

xx


----------



## Spaykay

Super news Suzie - will it be of benefit if you sing "I've got a brand new combine harvester" to her if you live in tractorland?   (not like you've heard that one before!  )

Kay xxx


----------



## NuttyJo

lol dont insult our tractorland kay!


----------



## Spaykay

sorry   I'm just jealous!

Kay xxx


----------



## NuttyJo

jealous of our tractors and funny accents?!!     mad woman!   

i would much rather be in spain ya know!


----------



## Spaykay

I miss home though   but guess in the long run I'm happier here

Kay xxx


----------



## Suzie

Who's taking the mic out of my combine harvester ?


----------



## NuttyJo

i got me straw hat, wellies and dungarees on ready suzie! lets go  

   

anyone else now got that combine harvester song stuck in their heads?   i keep singing it! lol


----------



## Spaykay

sorry

Can anyone name the artist that sang it though? I'd give you credits for an answer if I knew who it was! Well...I can google to check so go on , 1st with answer gets some credits off me...dunno how many yet coz don't know how many I've got  

Kay xxx


----------



## NuttyJo

was it wurzels?


----------



## Spaykay

You are correct Jo and I've googled it and found the complete set of words!

I drove my tractor through your haystack last night 
(ooh aah ooh aah) 
I threw me pitchfork at your dog to keep quiet 
(ooh aah ooh aah) 
Now something's telling me 
That you'm avoiding me 
Come on now darling you've got something I need

Cuz I got a brand new combine harvester 
An' I'll give you the key 
Come on now let's get together 
In perfect harmony 
I got twenty acres 
An' you got forty-three 
Now I got a brand new combine harvester 
An' I'll give you the key

She made I laugh ha ha

I'll stick by you, I'll give you all that you need 
We'll 'ave twins and triplets 
I'm a man built for speed 
And you know I'll love you darlin' 
So give me your hand 
But what I want the most 
Is all they acres of land

Cuz I got a brand new combine harvester 
An' I'll give you the key 
Come on now let's get together 
In perfect harmony 
I got twenty acres 
An' you got forty-three 
Now I got a brand new combine harvester 
An' I'll give you the key

Ooaah she's a lovely bit of stuff an' all

For seven long years I've been alone in this place 
Eat, sleep, in the kitchen, it's a proper disgrace 
Now if I cleaned it up would you change your mind 
I'll give up drinking scrumpy and that lager and lime

Cuz I got a brand new combine harvester 
An' I'll give you the key 
Come on now let's get together 
In perfect harmony 
I got twenty acres 
An' you got forty-three 
Now I got a brand new combine harvester 
An' I'll give you the key

Who loves ya baby ha

Weren't we a grand couple at that last wurzel dance 
I wore brand new gaters and me cordouroy pants 
In your new Sunday dress with your perfume smelling grand 
We had our photos took and us holding hands

Now I got a brand new combine harvester 
An' I'll give you the key 
Now that we'me both past our fifties I think that you and me 
Should stop this galavanting and will you marry me 
Coz I got a brand new combine harvester 
An' I'll give you the key

Aahh yu're a fine looking woman and I can't wait to get me 'ands on your land

Now SING SING SING to your hearts delite! 









Kay xxx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

New home this way ladies ------------------------------->
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=141568.0

xxx


----------

