# Bfn after 1st ivf



## Diamond1 (Jun 1, 2017)

IVF is our only hope and after an expensive 1st attempt got a BFN yesterday. Devastated. We have three frozen but finances cant keep supporting us and emotionally im unsure if i can either.😢


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## BrightSpark99 (Jul 22, 2015)

Hi Diamond

This happened to us too.  I think we all react differently to the situation but what I would say it is very early days. If you are anything like me you will also fell pretty rubbish on the come down from the meds.  It is literally like the worst PMT ever and you have had the worst news on top of it.  You need time to heal and for now do what makes you feel better. For me that was to book my follow up appointment so at least we could think about, in a couple of weeks time, what might have gone wrong and what the options are.  I know if this 2ww results in bad news for me I will want a break and won't follow up so quickly.  The other thing is it is only a first go.  People learn a lot from their cycle.  My consultant also said that depending on the individual, a FET can work better: your body hasn't been screwed about as much.  

Take your time honey.  Message back if you want.  I have been there.  And yes, it is expensive, and my biggest concern is that we are spending all this cash on something futile when we should be building an alternative life.  I don't have an answer to that.  Still searching myself.  But know you are not alone.

xx


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi Diamond,
What Brightspark has said is very true, right now you are full of hormones and emotions from what has happened. IVF is our only hope to so I understand how hard this all is. But how you feel right now is the worse bit, take peace in that. And some people do just respond better on a FET when there body hasnt been through so much, I know a few ladies who had negative fresh and followed on with a positive frozen which resulted in there miracles! So please try and focus on the huge positive that you have frozen embies, as a lot of ladies dont. So you have something really positive to focus on! And yes its expensive but a FET is a lot cheaper. 
I had a cycle in feb and got my BFP but sadly miscarried and I felt the lowest I had ever felt in my life, but I focused on the positives, we could try again, and put my energy into doing everything to make my body as healthy as it could be ready for that. And this helped me. Also just let loose for a while, have a nice meal out and drinks and switch off from all this, that definitely helps as this is all consuming! xx


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## BabyR (Aug 6, 2012)

Hi diamond1 want to offer some hope. We had fresh cycle with bfn then few months later did a FET with 2 blasts, we got a bfp with twins. We sadly lost one twin but have a 3 year old now. I believe FET are much easier on the body. Best of luck xxxx


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## Hannah01 (Mar 17, 2017)

I know it hurts when things went not as we plan. Take your time before you proceed. Hope things will change for us all...


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## bonbon2017 (Mar 7, 2017)

Hello All, 

I have just had our first cycle failed which was confirmed on 21st of Jun). Hugely disappointed, of course. DH (40 yr) and I (35 yr) are not quite sure what to do now. Our failed cycle was fresh transfer, we've had 11 eggs retrieved, 7 fertilised, 5 embryos, 1 growed till day 5 (this was the fresh transfered one, grade B+) , and 1 growed till day 6 (it is frozen now, grade B-)
I've been diagnosed endometriosis in last September after trying for a baby naturally for two years. Then I've had the 'key whole' surgery to remove the endometriosis in Nov last year. My blood test showed low AMH (4) in end of Mar, hence we have decided to start trying IVF in CRGH. BTW, DH's seman analysis was normal. 
Our consultant, J Ben Nagi  in CRGH has advised the following options after gave us an unexplained cause of the failure. I think it was implantation, as it can be the only thing. However the consultant said it mainly is caused by the embryo itself is not good enough as my lining was perfect when they checked before the fresh transfer. God knows..  
1) Do a frozen transfer FET straight away. The FET happens after next period comes (modified by medicine NET), which means we will be able to do our FET at the beginning of Aug. 
2) Do a scratch before FET which could help the implantation however it won't guarantee. If the second cycle fails again, we should probably do a Chromosome test. 
DH and I are now thinking of taking a break before the FET as might be my body that needed a break after all the drugs especially the stimulation ones. However, I really don't want to wait (many of us here would understand the frustration of infertility). We have been told we should not have unprotected sex once I start taking NET which is to modify the period. DH wanted to take a couple of months break and continue trying naturally again while waiting for my body to recover. To be honest, I really want to do the FET straight away, I know I am eager, I just can't help. But we have only one frozen embryo left, if this one fails, we have to start a new cycle from scratch and giving the low AMH I just worry that I will have less and less eggs. 

Apologies for the long stroy and frustration. I just want to hear you girls/boys, how do you plan your second cycle after the first failed one? straight away or take a break?

Best
Bonbon xx


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## Ditzygirl (Jun 8, 2016)

Bonbon - everybody is different but we took a break of about 6 months between treatments and that worked well for us. We had 2 months or so of forgetting about IVF. We relaxed, had a few drinks, had a holiday, and recovered mentally. It took me a few months to get over our bfn. Then we had a few months of getting back on the healthy track, cutting out toxins etc. Good luck to you for whatever you decide. xx


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## Diamond1 (Jun 1, 2017)

Thanks for the replies. Got an appointment to discuss further treatment next week. I do relalise it was our first attempt but been trying naturally for many years and desperate for kids for many years before that. We are lucky to have frozen embs and did have complications over stimulation. Trying to keep positive!


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## bonbon2017 (Mar 7, 2017)

we are on the same boat Diamond1. Let's keep positive. I do believe we will have our dream come true sooner or later! xx

Thank you very much Ditzygirl! DH and I are now making decision, we have 6 weeks even we decided to do the FET straight away. We might do that as the 6 weeks could enough for us but again we haven't decided yet. Thank you for your words, they are very warm and helpful, make me feel much relaxed now! This is how human thinks maybe, when you hear a similar story then you do not feel that you are the only one suffers this kind of pain. 
Best
Bonbon xx


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## miamiamo (Aug 9, 2015)

Unfortunately it might happen that 1st, even 2nd and 3d IVF fails. Constant dropping wears away a stone. Good luck!


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## Colette Picter (Jan 20, 2017)

I thought i would give you lot ago a short space of time I recently had a failed cycle well 2 failed cycle and feeling rather lost we lost two embroys in me I was about 3 weeks gutted understatement we are waiting to hear from our clinic with news of more embroys


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