# Is anyone having IUI because their partner is HIV +ve?



## PDJ (Aug 18, 2009)

I've searched and searched these boards to see if anyone else is in the same position as myself ... to no avail!

My husband and I need IUI to conceive safely because he is HIV positive, though very well with no detectable viral load.  Whilst the forums are very supportive I would love to be able to chat with someone in a similar position.

I know that many of us do not want others to know why we need fertility treatment, so please pm me if you are in a similar position.  I also use another name on this forum for anonymity and will completely respect if you do the same.

Now I know that some people reading this may find the thought of HIV positive couples having fertility treatment worrying. I can reassure you that all the clinics take great care to prevent any chances of mix ups and that your eggs sperm and embies are very safe.  I ask you not to judge us, we have the same need for children as you     We also need the same support whilst undergoing treatment as you and these forums are invaluable.

Hoping, against hope, that someone replies   and that even if I never get any replies, someone else may read this and know that they are not alone.


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## Sparklyone (Feb 25, 2009)

Hello please dontjudge

I am not in the same position as you but just wanted to offer my full support. You are very brave and I think everyone deserves the chance to have children. I hope you find somone in the same position as it would be great to support each other.

All the very best of luck

Sparklyone x


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## Purpleal (Aug 26, 2004)

Hi,
I just wanted to wish you well with your journey. I do not know any straight couples with HIV, but do have a very close gay friend who has had hiv from way before I even met him, which is almost 14 years ago. He has taught me that those three letters (hiv) don't stop you from having a normal life and from living out your dreams. I see no problem why you shouldnt have the right to have a family and if anyone has a problem, let it be their problem, not yours.  

Take care and all the best,

Purpleal


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## Fran74 (May 4, 2009)

Evening,

Although not in the same position I would like to wish you well with your treatment. Feel free to come and join us on the IUI girls TTC thread. There are lots of very helpful and understanding ladies who are having IUI for all sorts of different reasons.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=196782.0

Best of luck to you both.


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## Sammysmiles (Sep 8, 2008)

Again, I do not know of anyone having treatment because of HIV but I wanted to offer my full support and hope IUI works for you as it has for me.

Good luck hun


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## livity k (May 19, 2009)

Hi 

I also just wanted to say good luck, and wish you well in your tx. We're having tx because my husband is paraplegic and so far I haven't found anyone in same boat either. I know what you mean about wanting to compare notes. 

  for a successful outcome for you.

K x


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## charlie_44 (Jan 9, 2009)

Hi  

I also just wanted to wish you the best of luck.  I'm currently going though IUI, though with different circumstances - due to Kleinfelters Syndrome my DH has no sperm so we are having to do IUI using a donor.

You'll find lots of info and support on here.

Best Wishes, Charlie


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## PDJ (Aug 18, 2009)

Thankyou so much girls for your messages - It means the world to me to know that there are people out there like you who are so supportive - I should have known FF wouldn't let me down.

Our second round hasn't worked - but onwards and upwards..... hopefully we'll be parents one day.


Good luck to all of you in your treatments, pregnancies and life as mummies.


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## zarzar (Jan 2, 2008)

Hi Pleasedontjudge

How are you? I just wanted to let you now that you are not alone. My husband and I have been having treatment for the exact same reason as you. My husband is also HIV+.

We also started out having iui but unfortunately it didn't work for us and we moved on to IVF after 3 unsuccessful attempts. However, I am pleased to say that after our 2nd cycle of IVF we tested positive and I'm now almost 16 weeks pg   

I presume you are having treatment at the Chelsea and Westminster? Everyone there is so lovely and we always had a very positive experience there. I do know of other people that have gone through the sperm washing programme and many have had success with iui (some 1st time lucky too  )

If you would like to pm me or chat any time I am more than happy to share my experiences with you. My husband and I also did a short documentary when we were going through IUI and if you would like to watch that the I can send you the link.

Good luck and take care

Michelle xxx


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## PDJ (Aug 18, 2009)

Hi Michelle - thankyou so much for replying and congratulations on your bfp!  That's brilliant news!!
I've pm'd you.


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## Lulu2003 (Jan 10, 2006)

Hi there,

Good luck chick with everything.

Judging isn't something us ladies do and everyone's case is different but no-one has the right to say you're not entitled to be parents.

Sending you lots of positive vibes

Lu
xx


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Yes, me - sent you a PM! x


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## PDJ (Aug 18, 2009)

Hi Broody chick - lovely to hear from you - I've PMd you
xx


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Hi Ladies?

Any updates?

Sorry for hijacking this thread but I hope people whose inboxes are full can read up here and share their news 

Had my first appointment - finally, after a 4 month wait - and after waiting around for an hour we were given some forms to fill out because the receptionist was new or clueless.
I was then told that I will have to undergo a tube test with dye, despite getting pregnant previously, and some kind of test to see how many eggs I have left!

Two things I am wondering:
Since I am not the one with the fertility issue, should I opt out of this invasive treatment?
Why is the clinic happy for me to take up time and resources they could use for another lady who has proven fertility issues, when I am just there for the sperm washing procedure?

This seems really unneccessary and I also wonder about when I will finally get any tx - in AUGUST. The whole thing is getting so frustrating already that I am considering going for another round of au naturale although we received NO counselling with regards to findings of the Swiss study etc...

Having heard from some of you where IUI/IVF was unsuccessful, however they conceived naturally without converting I am now wondering whether it will be worth all this wait and hassle.

I don't want to sabotage my chances with my attitude either, as I really resent this invasive procedure...

What do others think? And how did you "kill time" whilst you were waiting for TX?


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## charlie_44 (Jan 9, 2009)

Hi BroodyChick

I presume they have to do the dye test just to make sure you're still in 'working order' even after your previous pregnancy as things can change.  From my personal experieince of it it is uncomfortable (I had bad cramping pains) but it's not unbearable and is over pretty quickly.  Take a couple of paracetemols beforehand.  It's so if they do IUI they need to check your tubes are okay otherwise they would go straight to IVF.  The test to check your ovarian reserve is just a blood test.

Hope this helps a little, Charlie x


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Thank you Charlie, that is very helpful info!
I will try to relax...
Natural try #5 has been unsuccessful so I will keep my fingers crossed.
It is just so frustrating having to wait this long on top of everything else!
By the time I have my IUI I will have been waiting for 8 months. Very frustrating...
Thanks for your support! xx


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## PDJ (Aug 18, 2009)

Hi BroodyChick,
I had all the same investigations that they've suggested you have.  I understand your concerns, but they're not that bad and it is reassuring to know that all is well.  From their perspective, they'd be wasting resources if they commenced treatment only to find out after several unsuccessful treatments that someone had a blocked tube. I agree with Charlie, the dye test was uncomfortable, but not awful.


We're still waiting for our second NHS go, this time in Liverpool.  And yes, I admit that we're putting faith in the swiss study and trying anyway - so far no success.


Good luck to everyone 
xx


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Hi PDJ and everyone

just had my HSG scan and it was the most painful thing known to woman!
I nearly passed out.

Thankfully they kept checking on me when I went to the loo after, I was white as a sheet and shaking. DF was there to support me and they brought me a juice, but I honestly didn't expect this pain.

My friend went through something very similar, she said she was also screaming and crying and the nurse had to hold her down. How can it be such a minor thing for some ppl, and yet so excruciating for others?
The doc actually had to make an incision for the catheter to pass through my cervix, and having a retroverted uterus probably doesn't help either.

Has anyone gone on to try naturally after their HSG and been successful? Apparently sometimes the procedure can unclog blockages.
I don't want to take the risk again unneccessarily, but I've been encouraged by what I know about the Swiss study and chatting to ladies on here etc.

Funding may be an issue for us, so anyone in a similar situation care to share their thoughts?


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