# Feeling lost!



## Helen66 (Nov 18, 2003)

Hi everyone,

It has been a while since I posted.  I am 41 now and last month my cd21 results came back at 168 I was over the moon and as my chart showed we had baby danced at the right time,  I so got my hopes up. It is the first time my results have been this high.  Anyway, as you have probably guessed the evil   turned up to disappoint me again.  We have been trying on and off for 5 years now and I just feel so fed up with it all. If we are not lucky this month then I am on my final course of Clomid, consultant won't allow anymore as I am prone to ovarian cysts.  I just feel so lost with it all at the minute, we have tried everything that obviously doesn't cost money as we are not in a position to go for IVF.  Anyone got any ideas.  I know this sounds terrible but my friend gave birth last week to a beautiful baby boy and I feel so envious of her.  I know I shouldn't but I do!

I am so down about it all and am ready to throw the towel in, what is the point of taking my last month of Clomid I know it isn't going to happen, we have been trying to long now.

Sorry to sound off but I just needed to talk to people who understand how I am feeling.  I hope and pray many of you get your wish I really do.  But I think my time is up now.  Best to give up now than have more months of disappointment.

Good luck everyone

Love Helen
xxx


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## MummyP (Jan 24, 2007)

Hi Helen,

I'm so sorry that you feel so sad, please don't give up hope! I can't offer you anything than my support and  .

You are entitled to feel as you do, I have not got any idea's on natural fertility apart from all things you've heard before!

Take care      

Debbie


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Helen,

I'm so sorry things aren't working out hun, I and others on these boards know how tough it is and we know just how you feel right now.     It's tough and I can only say that somehow you just have to keep trying or decide that enough is enough. If you do decide to continue you could try acupuncture if you aren't doing this already and perhaps even chinese herbs - both seem to do the trick for some ladies and are another route to consider if IVF isn't an option. Either way having acupuncture is a good idea (well I think so) because it can give your body and well being a boost which you do need if you've been TTC for years. TTC can be so all consuming that it takes over everything else and can be very draining. I felt loads better after a couple of months of acupuncture - even managed to feel positive and relaxed going into my first cycle of IVF.  When I say relaxed I mean more than I would have been without it  Not so sure it's had the same effect for this cycle but that's probably because I know what's ahead.

If you can only take 1 more lot of clomid and you feel so down at the moment perhaps you could wait a couple of months before using it and get some acupuncture in between now and then to give you a bit of a boost. I do wonder sometimes what effect the frame of mind we're in has on tx and unfortunately the longer you try the worse that negativity gets because you get so used to your body letting you down  

I really do hope you strike it lucky soon and please don't feel bad about the green eyed monster rearing its head, or feeling the need to sound off - you're only human and we've all been there. It's not so much we don't want others to succeed but it just acts as a painful reminder that we've not got there yet.

Take care, Love CG xxxx


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## Helen66 (Nov 18, 2003)

Hi,
Thanks for your replies they are appreciated.

Last night I thought about how I was feeling and after reading lots of posts about ttc i thought why haven't I been offered the test to see if my eggs are mature or not.  So next wednesday (11th) I have to go for yet another lot of CD21 bloods.  I have put a letter together to hand in for my Consultant asking why I haven't been offered this option.  At least if I know for sure whether they are mature or not I can make a decision to continue or give up.

CG,  What are these chinese herbs, I've read alot of posts of people taking them where do I get them?

Thanks again.  Lets hope my Consultant will offer me the test for my eggs.  Fingers crossed!

Love to you both 

Helen


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Helen,

Sorry I don't take them myself so I'm not sure which herbs they are and I guess they are specific to what they think you need or lack. It's probably worth posting a query about them on the IVF main thread or doing a search across the threads for recommendations on who to see in your area.

From your last posting it sounds like you haven't had any day 1-3 FSH/LH blood tests. If you haven't you definitately want to get these done asap. Your GP should be able to sort them out for you.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do next,

CG xxxx


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## Maybemummy (Mar 12, 2007)

Hi Helen

Don't lose heart there are plenty of us oldies still trying.

Might also be worth trying supplements for you and DH.  Marilyn Glenville - Natural solutions to infertility and Radine Lewis - The Fertile Soul ? not sure of name, support this approach.

As CG says if you get your 1-3 cycle tests done you will have the full picture of your levels and find out is you want to lower etc.  Also giving up smoking, caffine and alchohol is an issue if you haven't already.

Marilyn Glenville suggests a 4 month plan and DH and I are giving it a shot to improve our chances at IVF, I'm also having weekly acupuncture.

Also there are some clomid success stories out there so who says you can't be one.


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