# 45 and considering using donor eggs - anyone else in similar situation?



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

Hi, I'm 45, recently had a negative pregnancy result following ICSI and now considering using donor eggs. Trying to come to terms with the news from my consultant that becoming pregnant with my own eggs is extremely unlikely. Is anyone else in a similar situation?

Also any advice on whether to go with a clinic in the UK (I'm based in Leicestershire) or to go abroad would also be welcome.

thanks


----------



## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

Hi 

I am turning 44 and just going through ivf using my own eggs . I haven’t had a transfer yet . I am prepared to be not be successful with my own eggs , I think !.

I’ve started to consider donor eggs and it’s a lot to process . I think most women who go through IVF generally want to use their own eggs and then when that’s not possible they go through a transition . I think most also raise The same questions and worries .

how are you feeling about it so far ? Do you have any children ? I don’t have any .


----------



## Nova35 (Oct 8, 2018)

Hello both,

I don’t want to interfere as I’m certain everyone processes this decision differently but just wanted to say I went through similar a few years ago but now have the most beautiful daughter, thanks to a brilliant, kind donor. Being a mum is about so so much more than genetics. Really all you’re being leant is a speck of information, the joy, the sweat, the tears that go into growing and raising a child are all your own. And in many ways the anguish of getting there , will make you a stronger, more grateful parent.

I had treatment in Czechia, at Reprofit

Good luck xxx


----------



## montyz (Dec 26, 2018)

I'm also 45 and am considering the same thing. I think I'm to the point were having a baby is more important than having the genetic connection. We're thinking of going to The Czech Republic.


----------



## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

Nova35 said:


> Hello both,
> 
> I don’t want to interfere as I’m certain everyone processes this decision differently but just wanted to say I went through similar a few years ago but now have the most beautiful daughter, thanks to a brilliant, kind donor. Being a mum is about so so much more than genetics. Really all you’re being leant is a speck of information, the joy, the sweat, the tears that go into growing and raising a child are all your own. And in many ways the anguish of getting there , will make you a stronger, more grateful parent.
> 
> ...


Thank you , your post helped greatly x x


----------



## Nova35 (Oct 8, 2018)

Ah I’m so glad PDREAM. Wishing you the best of luck and happy to chat on DMs if you ever want to in the future xx


----------



## LizN (8 mo ago)

45&hopeful said:


> Hi, I'm 45, recently had a negative pregnancy result following ICSI and now considering using donor eggs. Trying to come to terms with the news from my consultant that becoming pregnant with my own eggs is extremely unlikely. Is anyone else in a similar situation?
> 
> Also any advice on whether to go with a clinic in the UK (I'm based in Leicestershire) or to go abroad would also be welcome.
> 
> thanks


Hello, 
I'm 43, had some bad experience using my own eggs...and yes, my doctor told me the same about the success rate with my age and AMH level. I had lots of crying but at least she was honest.
My husband and I are with Vida Fertility in Spain because they have large pool of donors and the process is anonymous. Hoping and praying for a better luck this time. 🙏🤞
Best of luck to you too❤


----------



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

PDream1980 said:


> Hi
> 
> I am turning 44 and just going through ivf using my own eggs . I haven’t had a transfer yet . I am prepared to be not be successful with my own eggs , I think !.
> 
> ...


Hi, thanks for sending this message - it really helps to connect with someone in a similar situation. Think positive, mind over matter and all that! Although the stats of success are low for us, you never know - yours might be one of the success stories! 

I'm still trying to adjust to using donor eggs - looking up information about it and at the same time, thinking about speaking with a different consultant to get a second opinion about using my own eggs. I don't have any other children.

Wishing you all the best of luck with IVF - I hope it all works out well for you x I'm happy to keep messaging together if you'd like to x


----------



## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

Hi


45&hopeful said:


> Hi, thanks for sending this message - it really helps to connect with someone in a similar situation. Think positive, mind over matter and all that! Although the stats of success are low for us, you never know - yours might be one of the success stories!
> 
> I'm still trying to adjust to using donor eggs - looking up information about it and at the same time, thinking about speaking with a different consultant to get a second opinion about using my own eggs. I don't have any other children.
> 
> Wishing you all the best of luck with IVF - I hope it all works out well for you x I'm happy to keep messaging together if you'd like to x



Hi , yes I would love to chat . It helps greatly to talk to someone in the same position . 

Can I ask what were your results after your round of ivf , how many embryos did you get and what was the quality ? 

For me I am doing natural cycle so only expecting 1 egg . If it does become an embryo then I will have a transfer . This should be on around a week or so . This would be my first time . I don’t have kids either . I am actually shocked how quickly time has passed and I turn 44 on Sunday . 

I think I would go abroad for donor egg but something I am still getting my head around like you . Also what are your thoughts on the donor being anonymous or not ? 

Hugs xx


----------



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

Nova35 said:


> Hello both,
> 
> I don’t want to interfere as I’m certain everyone processes this decision differently but just wanted to say I went through similar a few years ago but now have the most beautiful daughter, thanks to a brilliant, kind donor. Being a mum is about so so much more than genetics. Really all you’re being leant is a speck of information, the joy, the sweat, the tears that go into growing and raising a child are all your own. And in many ways the anguish of getting there , will make you a stronger, more grateful parent.
> 
> ...


thanks for this message - it's good to hear and really does help. I was speaking with a friend yesterday who has a friend with children from donor eggs and saying the same thing. She said how the twin girl's personalities are the same as their mum's because it is her who has brought them up - nurture can often be stronger than nature I guess and they were matched really well with the donor and so they even look like their mum  thanks also for the clinic details x


----------



## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

I’m sorry about your negative result , I know there would have been a lot of hope , however it’s not the end


----------



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

montyz said:


> I'm also 45 and am considering the same thing. I think I'm to the point were having a baby is more important than having the genetic connection. We're thinking of going to The Czech Republic.


Yes I'm the same - I'd rather have a baby with a donor egg than not at all. Do you know which clinic you'd go in the Czech Republic? There's so many clinics in so many countries - do you mind saying how you narrowed down your search?


----------



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

thanks x


PDream1980 said:


> I’m sorry about your negative result , I know there would have been a lot of hope , however it’s not the end


----------



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

LizN said:


> Hello,
> I'm 43, had some bad experience using my own eggs...and yes, my doctor told me the same about the success rate with my age and AMH level. I had lots of crying but at least she was honest.
> My husband and I are with Vida Fertility in Spain because they have large pool of donors and the process is anonymous. Hoping and praying for a better luck this time. 🙏🤞
> Best of luck to you too❤


I'm really sorry to hear about that, it is a really difficult to hear the news and to accept it. I'll have a look into that fertility clinic. My consultant said how the clinics abroad tend to have more donors and how the big difference is that they are anonymous. Wishing you all the best of luck. It would be good to stay connected, if you'd like to? x


----------



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

PDream1980 said:


> Hi
> 
> 
> Hi , yes I would love to chat . It helps greatly to talk to someone in the same position .
> ...


9 eggs were collected, of which 6 matured and of those, 3 fertilised. 2 were transferred. They said the quality of the eggs and sperm were good and the embryo quality was medium. They said though, how they can only see the quality on the outside and not internally and think it is very likely the age of the eggs preventing them being strong enough to embed into the lining of my womb. Everyone is different of course though and you may have a positive result. 

The idea of using a donor is getting easier. I think I would prefer to use an anonymous donor but also thinking how with the ease of DNA testing these days, I dont think the donor can ever be completely anonymous. I have an appointment with one of the clinic counsellors tomorrow to talk through the implications of using a donor.


----------



## Efi78 (Jun 26, 2017)

45&hopeful said:


> Hi, I'm 45, recently had a negative pregnancy result following ICSI and now considering using donor eggs. Trying to come to terms with the news from my consultant that becoming pregnant with my own eggs is extremely unlikely. Is anyone else in a similar situation?
> 
> Also any advice on whether to go with a clinic in the UK (I'm based in Leicestershire) or to go abroad would also be welcome.
> 
> thanks


Hi
43 and now down the donor egg route.
I have 0 doubts and never looked back, although not successful yet.
Mind you a few years ago It didn’t even cross my mind as a possibility. No way. After my last IVF failure at 40+ I stopped IVF for a while. Gave myself time to process everything. The choice to use donor eggs came naturally. One day I just knew it doesn’t make sense to use my own eggs anymore and prolong the pain.
It’s only natural wanting to use your own eggs, but when chances are low it’s natural looking for alternatives.
Did I want to do IVF instead of conceiving naturally? Of course not. But I decided for it bcs it was a good solution. Did I want to use DE instead of OE? Of course not. Not because they are second best. To the contrary. They are healthier. But it’s only natural wanting to take the natural route first.
Be kind to yourself and give time. When it’s time to switch you will know. xxx


----------



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

Efi78 said:


> Hi
> 43 and now down the donor egg route.
> I have 0 doubts and never looked back, although not successful yet.
> Mind you a few years ago It didn’t even cross my mind as a possibility. No way. After my last IVF failure at 40+ I stopped IVF for a while. Gave myself time to process everything. The choice to use donor eggs came naturally. One day I just knew it doesn’t make sense to use my own eggs anymore and prolong the pain.
> ...


Thank you for this message x Yes I've been thinking how perhaps, as I'm 45, it'd be best to use donor eggs because they're very likely to be healthier. What does 'bcs' mean please? Sorry, still trying to get to grips with the abbreviations xx


----------



## Ljp64 (Nov 23, 2013)

I had one round of IVF with my own eggs at 42, resulting in a miscarriage of twins a month apart so effectively two miscarriages . We switched to donor and we now have an amazing five year old son born when I was 44. For us it was an easy decision, after years of heartache, we knew the chances of success with OE were low and I just wanted a baby. I rarely think about my sons conception now although we are very open with him. We went to Instituto Bernabeu in Spain not because it’s anonymous but because the donors are young and fertile and the wait here is long. I woujd thoroghly recommend them if it comes to that. Good luck on your journey xx


----------



## LizN (8 mo ago)

45&hopeful said:


> I'm really sorry to hear about that, it is a really difficult to hear the news and to accept it. I'll have a look into that fertility clinic. My consultant said how the clinics abroad tend to have more donors and how the big difference is that they are anonymous. Wishing you all the best of luck. It would be good to stay connected, if you'd like to? x


I'd like to stay connected, it's great to share thoughts and experience! Good luck with the research, I know how hard is to decide where to go and what to do. All my support to you💜


----------



## Efi78 (Jun 26, 2017)

45&hopeful said:


> Thank you for this message x Yes I've been thinking how perhaps, as I'm 45, it'd be best to use donor eggs because they're very likely to be healthier. What does 'bcs' mean please? Sorry, still trying to get to grips with the abbreviations xx


Bcs= because .
You will know when you are ready. I was completely against it. Not sure why. When I was in the middle of my final FET with OE I just started looking for clinics. And felt absolutely normal.
Unfortunately my first transfer was a BFN but hanging in there.


----------



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

Ljp64 said:


> I had one round of IVF with my own eggs at 42, resulting in a miscarriage of twins a month apart so effectively two miscarriages . We switched to donor and we now have an amazing five year old son born when I was 44. For us it was an easy decision, after years of heartache, we knew the chances of success with OE were low and I just wanted a baby. I rarely think about my sons conception now although we are very open with him. We went to Instituto Bernabeu in Spain not because it’s anonymous but because the donors are young and fertile and the wait here is long. I woujd thoroghly recommend them if it comes to that. Good luck on your journey xx


Hi, how heartbreaking for you about the double miscarriage  but wonderful that you now have a son!  thanks for your message and the clinic recommendation, it's so nice to hear positive stories and donor eggs x


----------



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

45&hopeful said:


> Hi, how heartbreaking for you about the double miscarriage  but wonderful that you now have a son!  thanks for your message and the clinic recommendation, it's so nice to hear positive stories and donor eggs x





Efi78 said:


> Bcs= because .
> You will know when you are ready. I was completely against it. Not sure why. When I was in the middle of my final FET with OE I just started looking for clinics. And felt absolutely normal.
> Unfortunately my first transfer was a BFN but hanging in there.


thanks, that abbreviation makes sense now  Sorry to hear about your BFN. If you try again with DE,the odds of a positive result are a lot better and so fingers crossed for you x


----------



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

LizN said:


> I'd like to stay connected, it's great to share thoughts and experience! Good luck with the research, I know how hard is to decide where to go and what to do. All my support to you💜


thanks and yes we'll keep in touch  xx


----------



## Efi78 (Jun 26, 2017)

I like this thread. I would like us to stay connected as well . 
45&hopeful let us know of your decision.

AFM I am preparing for DE transfer no 2 in late September/early October. Bracing for more heartache and looking forward to a potential BFP this time. I was so gutted when first DEIVF didn’t work. But then realised that DE doesn’t mean success first time. It can still take a few cycles….


----------



## Sami78 (7 mo ago)

45&hopeful said:


> Hi, I'm 45, recently had a negative pregnancy result following ICSI and now considering using donor eggs. Trying to come to terms with the news from my consultant that becoming pregnant with my own eggs is extremely unlikely. Is anyone else in a similar situation?
> 
> Also any advice on whether to go with a clinic in the UK (I'm based in Leicestershire) or to go abroad would also be welcome.
> 
> thanks


Hi. I know that must have been very hard to hear. I’m 43 and have started my journey to have IVF using DEs. I was told my chances of conceiving naturally were 5% and the same probability if I did IVF using my own eggs. I did fall pregnant naturally two years ago but miscarried and not had luck falling pregnant naturally since so have decided to go ahead using a DE as do want to start a family.
I’ve decided to use a clinic in Spain as opposed to here as due to being non Caucasian I have a higher chance of finding a donor match there sooner.


----------



## PrincessTash (Mar 7, 2013)

Reading all these messages shows me that I am really not alone in my fertility experiences, thoughts and feelings.

I am 41 now but started my fertility journey when I was 31. I have had 4 previous rounds of IVF which all failed, could have been because of my low AMH or poor quality eggs. Whatever the reason it has been so hard over the years seeing friends and family have 1, 2 then sometimes 3 children and I cannot even produce just the 1. 
I think like most women in a similar situation I have gone through a roller coaster of emotions (literally by myself) as I don't have a very supportive family generally and I have never wanted to put that burden on my friends as none of them have been through it. So I have spent days crying and feeling like a failure for not being able to do what comes naturally to most. 
I had my last treatment in 2019 when i was 39 and was prepared to go again in 2020 but then the dreaded pandemic hit which meant when I came out the other side I was now 41years old. This meant chances of using my own eggs were very slim. So my DH and I had discussed previously the idea of DE and then revisited it again and decided DE was the best bet for us. Yes it has been a little tuff initially to get my head around, but the need and desire to be a mum outweighs any previous reservations. 

This is where the problem really began, my DE and I are from a Caribbean background and the pool of donors that mainly exist are mainly caucasian. I am based in the UK and black Caribbean donors are very scarce. On top of that they assume black means= (it does not matter which country you come from). Now that might not be a problem for some, but for me personally I would prefer a donor that is close to my appearance as possible and a DE that has a completely different ethnicity would be noticeable to me, family and friends.

We started the search initially in the UK and we managed to find a clinic to do it but the price they wanted for the ONE DE was *outrageous*. I also would have no picture to go off and just a general profile and so I decided to look around in Europe. This got even worst when one clinic said that yes we can provide the treatment and that they had caucasian DE's with dark olive skin. Now, that clearly is not going to work for me either!

So after carefully researching we have found a centre in the Caribbean with really good results, and they allow us to have a picture of the DE along with the profile. The price is much cheaper than the UK and the US and so we have booked to start our treatment in Early November.

Now the next hurdle we have to get over is whether to transfer 1 or 2 embryos as I think my DE and I have decided that we actually only want one healthy child and not two as when we initially started out. If we transferred 1 and it did not work we would be gutted that we never tried 2. However, if we transferred 2 and both were successful I think we would faint .

We are so indecisive as to what do to for the best, any advice, thoughts would be of great help.

Sorry for the essay.


----------



## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

I didn’t want to read and run princess tash .
I am Sending you massive hugs as this journey is hard enough without then having the donor ethnicity egg issue . I know you will get there . I would recommend starting a new post yourself so others will see it more easily who may be able to help and give advice who have experienced the same issue .

I can relate to everything you say about how it feels on this journey and the inner anguish most of us feel .
Much love to you xxxxx


----------



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

Sami78 said:


> Hi. I know that must have been very hard to hear. I’m 43 and have started my journey to have IVF using DEs. I was told my chances of conceiving naturally were 5% and the same probability if I did IVF using my own eggs. I did fall pregnant naturally two years ago but miscarried and not had luck falling pregnant naturally since so have decided to go ahead using a DE as do want to start a family.
> I’ve decided to use a clinic in Spain as opposed to here as due to being non Caucasian I have a higher chance of finding a donor match there sooner.


Hi, I'm really sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I can empathise on how difficult that must have been - I miscarried about 10 years ago when I fell pregnant whilst with my ex-husband and miscarried again in October last year when I fell pregnant with my current partner. I really hope it all works out for you using the clinic in Spain 🤞 x


----------



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

PrincessTash said:


> Reading all these messages shows me that I am really not alone in my fertility experiences, thoughts and feelings.
> 
> I am 41 now but started my fertility journey when I was 31. I have had 4 previous rounds of IVF which all failed, could have been because of my low AMH or poor quality eggs. Whatever the reason it has been so hard over the years seeing friends and family have 1, 2 then sometimes 3 children and I cannot even produce just the 1.
> I think like most women in a similar situation I have gone through a roller coaster of emotions (literally by myself) as I don't have a very supportive family generally and I have never wanted to put that burden on my friends as none of them have been through it. So I have spent days crying and feeling like a failure for not being able to do what comes naturally to most.
> ...


Hi, I'm so sorry to hear the experience you've had and feeling unsupported by family and friends. Sometimes they can be insensitive can't they and I think it can be down to a lack of awareness and understanding. Only someone experiencing infertility issues can truly appreciate what you are going through I feel. The difficulty with finding a donor makes your journey even harder. Even though your friends have children, they may not feel that you are being a burden by talking with them about the difficulties you're having, to have children. Your friends might welcome you confiding in them about it. Perhaps speak with one of your closest friends first. Even though they will not fully be able to appreciate your situation, it will probably still help you chatting with a good friend about it so that you don't feel so isolated from your friends. Please feel free to keep chatting with us on here about your experience x

Regarding making a decision on transferring 1 or 2 embryos - it may be worth speaking with a counsellor about it, if you haven't already. Alternatively, when the crucial moment comes to make the decision, I think your gut will tell you which is the correct decision. Best wishes to you and keep in touch if you'd like to xx


----------



## IzzyQ (Jul 12, 2016)

Hi, I’m in the same situation. I’m 46 and I have just done IVF with my final OE embryo (created when I was 39) and sadly the result was negative. We are now turning to DE at the Spanish clinics and I’m not fully there yet. I am however making contact with the clinics and getting all the tests done that they need.

As a heads up some of the tests can take a long time to either be arranged or to receive the results. For example my husband has just had his spermogramme, it took us three weeks to find an appointment and he’s been told it will be a minimum of three weeks for the results. we are doing all of the tests locally and we live in France so waiting times may be different going privately in the UK. I’m using the time that it takes to get all the tests done to think whether this is some thing that I feel I can do. I would say I’m 80% there but then I look at my own two children and I swing back to thinking ‘ that what if this child is so different to my own two?’. I do worry that I will always view this DE child as different. Having said that, if we hadn’t managed to have number two with OE then we would have definitely turned to either adoption or DE for a sibling, so… you see? I’m even going back and forth on here!

I think it’s a deeply personal decision, moving on to DE. For me it’s hard to not kick myself for not having collected more eggs when I was younger. When, at 39, I asked if I should do a second cycle of collection before starting on the IVF, I was advised by my doctor that four embryos Should be enough for two more babies and I listened to him. Egg collection was fairly brutal for me, so I was happy to be persuaded. I regret it now!

It’s also hard not to feel like a failure when you lose your own embryos even if you’re a strong person, and the drugs don’t help! 

DE is a hard choice to make and not everyone feels they can do it. I know one couple personally who decided to stay child free rather than use donor eggs.

I’m sorry if this message isn’t much help, or terribly coherent! I just wanted you to know that there are a few of us out there trying to make the same decision, and I’m happy to talk more.


----------



## Chips1640 (Jan 27, 2016)

Hi @45&hopeful , joining the thread as I am also 45, am on my third round of de with Reproclinic in Barcelona. It took me about a year to get my head around using a donor but I don’t really think too much about it now. We had 6 frozen embryos (3 left), and they feel like mine now. I’ve had vastly more success with de eggs too - my oe IVFs were a disaster but I feel I’m getting closer to my miracle baby now (not quite there!) 

I chose Spain rather than UK because they have more donors so no waiting list plus I like going there! (And I’ve been there 4 times now!)


----------



## MommyKenny (Jul 9, 2019)

45&hopeful said:


> Hi, I'm 45, recently had a negative pregnancy result following ICSI and now considering using donor eggs. Trying to come to terms with the news from my consultant that becoming pregnant with my own eggs is extremely unlikely. Is anyone else in a similar situation?
> 
> Also any advice on whether to go with a clinic in the UK (I'm based in Leicestershire) or to go abroad would also be welcome.
> 
> thanks


Hi although I'm not in my 40's yet I did have a treatment in my late 30's. I was 37 when we had egg and sperm donor. No regrets. It was a hard journey and we got only one embryo to fight for. Luckily we got successful. We chose a clinic overseas for that one. Good luck on your journey - your eggs or not - it will still be your baby that is for sure.


----------



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

IzzyQ said:


> Hi, I’m in the same situation. I’m 46 and I have just done IVF with my final OE embryo (created when I was 39) and sadly the result was negative. We are now turning to DE at the Spanish clinics and I’m not fully there yet. I am however making contact with the clinics and getting all the tests done that they need.
> 
> As a heads up some of the tests can take a long time to either be arranged or to receive the results. For example my husband has just had his spermogramme, it took us three weeks to find an appointment and he’s been told it will be a minimum of three weeks for the results. we are doing all of the tests locally and we live in France so waiting times may be different going privately in the UK. I’m using the time that it takes to get all the tests done to think whether this is some thing that I feel I can do. I would say I’m 80% there but then I look at my own two children and I swing back to thinking ‘ that what if this child is so different to my own two?’. I do worry that I will always view this DE child as different. Having said that, if we hadn’t managed to have number two with OE then we would have definitely turned to either adoption or DE for a sibling, so… you see? I’m even going back and forth on here!
> 
> ...


Hi, thanks for your message. It does really help. We have an appointment with the egg donation team in the next couple of days so we'll see how that goes. 

I hope it all works out for you. Take care x


----------



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

Chips1640 said:


> Hi @45&hopeful , joining the thread as I am also 45, am on my third round of de with Reproclinic in Barcelona. It took me about a year to get my head around using a donor but I don’t really think too much about it now. We had 6 frozen embryos (3 left), and they feel like mine now. I’ve had vastly more success with de eggs too - my oe IVFs were a disaster but I feel I’m getting closer to my miracle baby now (not quite there!)
> 
> I chose Spain rather than UK because they have more donors so no waiting list plus I like going there! (And I’ve been there 4 times now!)


Yes I can imagine how the donor eggs can feel like your own after a while. I really hope you get your miracle baby x


----------



## 45&hopeful (7 mo ago)

MommyKenny said:


> Hi although I'm not in my 40's yet I did have a treatment in my late 30's. I was 37 when we had egg and sperm donor. No regrets. It was a hard journey and we got only one embryo to fight for. Luckily we got successful. We chose a clinic overseas for that one. Good luck on your journey - your eggs or not - it will still be your baby that is for sure.


Thanks and yes you're right, it would still be my baby, if I'm lucky and it all works out. Thanks for your message. It's nice to hear success stories 😃 x


----------



## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

Chips1640 said:


> Hi @45&hopeful , joining the thread as I am also 45, am on my third round of de with Reproclinic in Barcelona. It took me about a year to get my head around using a donor but I don’t really think too much about it now. We had 6 frozen embryos (3 left), and they feel like mine now. I’ve had vastly more success with de eggs too - my oe IVFs were a disaster but I feel I’m getting closer to my miracle baby now (not quite there!)
> 
> I chose Spain rather than UK because they have more donors so no waiting list plus I like going there! (And I’ve been there 4 times now!)


I’m so sorry chips to read what happened . My heart to yours 💔❤‍🩹.


----------



## Hope2020! (Dec 30, 2020)

Hi, I am 42 this year and decided later in life that I wanted to have kids! tried for 2 yrs naturally but no success. Tried IVF and had 5 embryos with my own eggs but unfortunately none good enough for transfer. Then earlier this year had a natural cycle with donated egg and that failed too! few days ago had another frozen transfer but this time on a medicated (read heavily medicated!) cycle and the test is due on 10/10!
Overall a frustrating and emotionally ( and now physically) challenging journey. No to mention the 65K spent so far :/ We have now decided that if this course fails, we will just accept our fate and make the best of this life.
Wish you ladies all the best. Lots of positive energy, patience and contentment whatever the result.


----------



## Sami78 (7 mo ago)

Hope2020! said:


> Hi, I am 42 this year and decided later in life that I wanted to have kids! tried for 2 yrs naturally but no success. Tried IVF and had 5 embryos with my own eggs but unfortunately none good enough for transfer. Then earlier this year had a natural cycle with donated egg and that failed too! few days ago had another frozen transfer but this time on a medicated (read heavily medicated!) cycle and the test is due on 10/10!
> Overall a frustrating and emotionally ( and now physically) challenging journey. No to mention the 65K spent so far :/ We have now decided that if this course fails, we will just accept our fate and make the best of this life.
> Wish you ladies all the best. Lots of positive energy, patience and contentment whatever the result.


 Sending you lots of good wishes for this round Hope2020! x
I’m currently waiting to hear how many eggs they were able to retrieve from the donor they found for us.


----------



## MommyKenny (Jul 9, 2019)

Sami78 said:


> Sending you lots of good wishes for this round Hope2020! x
> I’m currently waiting to hear how many eggs they were able to retrieve from the donor they found for us.


That must be exciting and thrilling at the same time for you! Any news?


----------



## Sami78 (7 mo ago)

MommyKenny said:


> That must be exciting and thrilling at the same time for you! Any news?


It is but trying to keep balanced between being excited but also managing my hopes. I’ve been told we have 3 good quality embryos frozen. I know it’s better than nothing but had hoped for more as I have read not all make it when thawed. I’m trying to keep a positive attitude that it does work first time round so have those to go back to. Atm I’m trying to eat as well as I can and do whatever possible so all fine when we look to do the implantation in a few weeks time. Studying for the Cfa atm too so trying to not stress (eat) over that either as my exam is in a months time!


----------



## MommyKenny (Jul 9, 2019)

Sami78 said:


> It is but trying to keep balanced between being excited but also managing my hopes. I’ve been told we have 3 good quality embryos frozen. I know it’s better than nothing but had hoped for more as I have read not all make it when thawed. I’m trying to keep a positive attitude that it does work first time round so have those to go back to. Atm I’m trying to eat as well as I can and do whatever possible so all fine when we look to do the implantation in a few weeks time. Studying for the Cfa atm too so trying to not stress (eat) over that either as my exam is in a months time!


Oh wow, you do have your hands full with two tests both milestones! At least studying will keep you from focusing too much on worrying about your transfer and hopefully upcoming BFP! Good luck on both!


----------



## JCB2095 (Dec 29, 2021)

Hi. I’m in a similar situation. I’m 43 and had two failed IVFs with own eggs (one NHS funded one self funded). After some counselling and much deliberation, I’m now researching the donor egg route. Bit of a mind field between: UK vs Europe; fresh vs frozen, anonymous vs non anonymous donors etc. I’ve also researched that some European clinics are not well regulated. I’ve started a list of clinics in the UK and Europe and I’m working through contacting them to compare. Let me know if you would like my list. Happy to help. Wish the information was easier to come by!


----------



## Bookloverjazz (8 mo ago)

Similar situation I’m 49


----------



## ozziechick (10 mo ago)

Bookloverjazz said:


> Similar situation I’m 49


booklover jazz i am 51


----------



## Pawleygirl (3 mo ago)

I'm 46, and living in Egypt. Donor eggs aren't an option here. My husband wouldn't agree to it either, because it would be against his beliefs. 😢 I can only pray that my eggs will be good enough when they harvest them. I'm not very optimistic, but I'm still hoping for some kind of miracle.


----------



## bugbabe77 (Apr 21, 2014)

Hey all - am 45 and have one DS from a previous IVF in Norway. My boy is constantly now asking when he is getting a brother and it’s so hard trying to explain to a 7yr old my infertility. He knows about how the doctors helped us to ’make’ him and how we would need to do that again. But Jesus it’s so much harder trying to source clinics etc when you’re over 40. It’s a minefield isn’t it? I’ve been looking at clinics in Spain, Greece and Czech Republic. I think we’d have to go DE as my AMH was low when I last got it done pre-pandemic (we were gearing up for a Norway return and covid screwed us).


----------



## JCB2095 (Dec 29, 2021)

bugbabe77 said:


> Hey all - am 45 and have one DS from a previous IVF in Norway. My boy is constantly now asking when he is getting a brother and it’s so hard trying to explain to a 7yr old my infertility. He knows about how the doctors helped us to ’make’ him and how we would need to do that again. But Jesus it’s so much harder trying to source clinics etc when you’re over 40. It’s a minefield isn’t it? I’ve been looking at clinics in Spain, Greece and Czech Republic. I think we’d have to go DE as my AMH was low when I last got it done pre-pandemic (we were gearing up for a Norway return and covid screwed us).


----------



## JCB2095 (Dec 29, 2021)

Hey. I’ve been researching loads. I think I started with a list of over 30 across Europe and after doing research and numerous calls, I’ve found the Spanish ones to be the most professional and well regulated. I’m still to confirm but think I’m going to go DE with Barcelona IVF. Please be careful with some clinics. Some don’t seem well regulated and ask for large sums of money before a donor is matched.


----------



## IzzyQ (Jul 12, 2016)

Hello, I’m 46 and looking at donor eggs at the Spanish clinics. I have a son, naturally conceived and a daughter from OE IVF. I still have a good AMH level, but my doctor has advised me that it would be a waste of money and time trying, as no matter how healthy I am, my eggs still 46 years old! Part of me thinks ‘but what if MY eggs are the super special ageless ones?’ but the rational side of me knows he is right. It’s a difficult switch to make, to move over to DE, but I think I’m ready to do it now. The good news is that the eggs are from young, healthy and screened donors, so their eggs will stand a much better chance than mine ever did.


----------

