# Gone from the process to parenting....



## Lynnm (Mar 7, 2006)

Hi There

Hope you don't mind me posting here but I have now left the Adoption Process and became a parent    After matching on 10th January of a little boy who is now 11 months, he came home recently on 15th February    For the purposes of the threads I will refer to him as 'rainbow' as I believe he is the sunshine at the end of some very dark times.

So far I have some sleepless evenings and been totally knackered  but all jokes aside he has been a very happy good natured wee guy who smiles a lot and is very happy to play alone and have you play with him.

At this point I have one question?  He normally loves his food, but yesterday he became very grisly and really wasnt into eating much of any of his meals and even when we played with him and his toys he was very out of sorts.  He was a bit better today, but nothing like how he was during intors and the first few days he had been with us.  Why do you think this is?  I thought it may be because he is cutting some teeth, maybe hanging for something, or could he now be missing his carer?  Any thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated 

Lynn xx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

congratulations on becoming a mummy to Rainbow         

i'm not sure what could be up with your little chap..it could be any of the things you've thought of..keep an eye on his temp and take him to the docs if he appears to be unwell at all...otherwise just keep doing what you've been doing at the Foster family and add in lots and lots of cuddles and peep-bo's to help him bond/attach. i'm not sure whats going on in their heads at his age and how much 'missing' he might do of his previous carer/FM..i guess if you have a good relationship with that person you could always give them a call and see if they have any suggestions?
try not to worry to much..its easy to overthink things in the early days, i know i did 

kj x


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## shivster (Jan 17, 2007)

Hi Lynnm,

Congratulations!

Our DS now 20 months came home in november. He is a big eater and sleeper generally but the last week or two gnawing on everything and refusing food and waking in the night. I know your DS is a lot younger but it could quite easily be teething. Try pain relief calpol or medised or nurofen for kids an hour before sleep for noticable improvement if teeth.

Attachment issues I am less sure about. Like KJ said it is hard to know what they are thinking at that age. I was told eye contact is important so peek a boo your heart out. It's still early days for you - we are 3.5 months in and it's still early days for us. As KJ says the tendency for us new adoptive mums is to overthink things. 

Good Luck xx S


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Congratulations Lynn on becoming a Mum to Rainbow.

I think the most likely explanation a this age is teething.  I couldn't suggest anything better for that than what Shivster has recommended.  He could be coming down with a cold, there are so many bugs around at this time of year.  Just keep an eye on his temperature and keep his fluids up.  As far as attachment issues it is so hard to judge these things at such a young age.  Just keep giving him lots of attention, baby games and cuddles and eye contact.

Hope he feels better soon

Cindy


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi mummy Lynn,

I am sure it will be his teeth. Pinky is just the same when cutting teeth. Nelsons teether powders are great can be bought from boots and if it is upsetting hos sleep medised is a god send. Enjoy Rainbow and try not to worry to much. (heehee) I know this is imposible as a new mummy.

PBMx


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## Barbarella (Jun 11, 2005)

Many congrats Lynn, such a wonderful time.

When my little girl came home (9 months) she seemed absolutely fine.  It was only a few months down the line that I realised she was probably quite unsettled as her personality changed quite a lot in that time.  I don't think they realise what has happened, but they know something is different and that must be unsettling for them.

Also, pretty much he will be teething on and off for the next few years.. my DD is usually grouchy, goes off her food, doesn't sleep as well when she's teething so it is more than likely that as well.

Give it a bit of time, I would say it took DD probably about 6 months to be totally settled and feel like she was mine all mine.  They definitely pick up on your emotions as well and let's face it, we've been through hell to get here, and it's not easy once you do get there.

Hope he is feeling better soon anyway.

C xx


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## Viva (May 16, 2005)

Hi Lynn, 
Hope your little is feeling a bit happier, Lola has been teething on and off since she has been placed and gets really miserable, grouchy, snotty, goes off her food and recently gets really naughty too! She's now nearly 22 months and still only has 11 teeth(!) so I do sympathise. As the others have said use calpol or Calprofen (I've never tried Medised as she's a good sleeper) I also use teething powders Ashtons and Parsons and would recommend them and also use Calgel to rub on her gums. Some people also find bickipegs helpful (hard biscuits to chew on) but Lola's never been that interested. 
Hope things are settling down.
LOve
Viva
X


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