# Hello - new joiner :



## Threllers (Dec 2, 2006)

Hi,

Not sure where to start, but hope that this site will be able to give me some more answers then I have been able to get from the doctors!

I'm 32 and have been married for 2 years; my husband is 37.  We married to have children but it hasn't happened.

Paid for private tests, and apparently I'm ovulating and my husband's sperm count is fine; it was a little low be we managed to improve that through diet.  I'm been having acupuncture for a year, and had a xray showing my tubes were clear ... so no reason for the lack of a baby.

I'm on my third month of Clomid, apparently a low dose, and the consultant has advised that the only option after this is IVF which will have a 20% chance of success.  I simply don't know if I can go through with it, or more to the point deal with it not working.  My husband really wants to try; he is very very supportive and will go with my decision but I don't want to let him down.

All our friends seem to have children and my brother in law has recently been complaining that we do not help out more with his children (age almost 2 & 4) but I simply don't feel I can.  I want to go away and hide, and I don't feel I can talk to my friends about our situation.  I'm dreading Christmas, as we will be expected to be very excited about everyone else's babies, but it's another reminder of what we don't have, and to make matters worse my period is due on Christmas Day.

Sorry to sound so negative, I'm going through a down phase at the moment.  Would be interested to here about IVF through the Capio in Sawbridgeworth, which I think refers you to The Bridge??

Thank you for reading this.


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## Debbie1234 (Aug 1, 2006)

Hi Threllers,

Sorry to hear that you are feeling so down. I can totally relate to how you are feeling. We have been trying for 1 1/2 years and even thought previously thought my DH had problems with his swimmers a second test has shown that actually its fine so we are unexplained too.

Christmas is especially hard as it should be a time for kids but try to keep positive as it would be such as shame to go through it feeling miserable.

I try to concentrate on the good things my DH and I have. Some people dont have the luck to have found a great relationship like we have  !

I really hope things work out for you and you get the   you so desperately want. This site is great and I am sure you will get loads of replies as everyone understands exactly what you are going through.

Difficult choice re the IVF. I think we will definitely go for it if we have to but we are going to give it another year just to give us every chance of it happening first. You are right, it would be hard if it doesnt work, but just just imagine if it did! 

Anyway take care hunney and best of luck,

Debbie
x


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hello Threllers 

Firstly, a huge welcome to the site honey. You have found the best place for support, advice and understanding, and you will make some great friends along the way. You may even find yourself an Angel on here - I know I have!!

Sorry to hear how down you are feeling hunnie, I do know and understand exactly how you feel. And Christmas is the time of year when it seems to hit us most I think, a time for family, a time when our need and longing intensifies even more - if that is at all possible!

I will leave you some links to places on the site you might find useful, so you can pop along and introduce yourself.

*Unexplained Infertility*
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=111.0

*Clomid Girls*
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=34.0

*Abbreviations*
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/index.php?option=com_glossary&Itemid=120

*Complementary Therapies*
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=14.0

I am not sure about your clinic honey, but if you do a search (the search tab is at the top of the screen) and put in your clinic name, you should get some results.

Take good care, and wishing you lots of         for your journey.

Love and hugs
Tracy
xxxx


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## Threllers (Dec 2, 2006)

Thank you for the posts and private messages - what a great site and I only found it by chance  

It's so reassuring to find some similar minded people and that I am not some evil witch for wanting to avoid my in laws this Christmas!!  

I'm looking forward to finding my way around the site (it's huge and comprehensive!!) so any buddy offers welcome, and would love to get to know some of the people on the site and maybe I can help you along your journeys too - see a much more positive day today, and my husband wants to have a look on the site too.

Thank you all so much, whilst it could have been in better circumstances, I'm so relieved to find such a caring and supportive bunch!

Good luck to all
xxx


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hiya Threllers

So glad you are enjoying the site. And brill news that your hubby might join us too! Just in case, here is a link to the Mens Room, which is a place for the lads on the site to get together and chat

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=89.0

I will send a PM to Olive(Suzie) and tell her you are looking for a buddy and she will pair you up honey, or alternatively, feel free to contact me any time, either on here or by PM and I will be more than willing to buddy you 

Love and hugs to you
Tracy
x


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## _saskia_ (Dec 3, 2006)

I understand how you feel. i have pcos but now i am ovulating and my body is working just how it should be and theres no reason why i shouldnt get pregnant the nurse said who has been monitoring my cycles and my partners sperm is totally fine , all tubes clear and all tests good but still no baby. And i feel down alot because my brother and his fiance has just had a baby boy and she only missed a couple of days of contraceptive pills and there so happy and my parents are such proud grandparents and im a proud auntie it just kills when i see them feeding him, cuddling him -ive had a cuddle and stuff and i love it but like you, it reminds me of what i dont have. I was cuddling my nephew the other week and he only seemed to stop crying when i held him and he wouldnt settle for any of the others, not even his parents and my brother said to me which is sweet, he said "you would make a good mum you saskia , you look a natural and you seem to know what ya doing"- i felt touched but i thought also IF ONLY i had a child to be a natural to etc.  But in the end you have absolutely no choice but to cope and find a way to heal any pain and emotion your going through. I agree and can relate to the dread of Xmas , all having a family dinner and a babys gonna be there i love him so much but some times i just dont wanna see him without being unkind.


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## _saskia_ (Dec 3, 2006)

Oh i forgot to mention , the nurse whos been monitoring my cycles said that there doing another 4 month , using clomid aswell and that if nothing happens ill be on the waiting list for IVF and i hope i wont need ivf and was pretty gutted when she said that i thought why not try everything else first like IUI and stuff.


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## caline (Nov 12, 2006)

Hi Threllers <a href="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fwww.smileycentral.com%252F%253Fpartner%253DZSzeb008%255FZN%2526i%253D15%252F15%255F1%255F70v%2526feat%253Dprof/page.html" target="_blank">









Glad you found FF. It's a great place to ask questions and share what's going on re ttc. Decesions about tx are so individual. Yes, there is a lot of fear about the tx not working but for me tx also brings so much hope as well. I am having my Ist IUI mid Dec and if that does not work will go to IVF. 
You seem to have a very supportive DH which really helps. Sending you lots of      
Be kind to yourself.

Caline


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hi girls

Saskia - big hug for you honey  and welcome to the site!!! Did you know we have an "Unexplained" board on here, for ladies with unexplained infertility? Here's the link for you in case you are interested:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=111.0

There is also a *PCOS * board: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=13.0

And, if you are curious about Clomid and it's use, there is a *Clomid Girls* thread too: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=34.0

Wishing you lots of luck and        

Love
Tracy
xx


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## _saskia_ (Dec 3, 2006)

this is great all support for specific problems and stuff. thank you


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi threllers and welcome to the site 

U have come to the right place for support and advice and good luck on your journey

Kate xx​


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## Blu (Jul 28, 2005)

Hi Threllers, welcome to the site.

Just a quick point - really suprised your consultant has said your chance of success with IVF is only 20%. I was in the same position as you - unexplained, DH fine. The first clinic we went to had a 29% success rate for my age (32 at the time) and the 2nd clinic (4th ICSI & BFP!) has a 59% success rate for women under 35 - check out the HFEA website for success rates at the different hospitals and don't be put off by one doctor - there is so much more info out there. (or go to the home page for this site where you can get a free copy of the HFEA guide)

Good luck
Blu


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## ~debs~ (Nov 7, 2006)

Hi Threllers

Welcome to FF.  I hope you find the site to be a lifeline, I know I have.  Although I must say it is very, very addictive .......... so many lovely ladies to talk to.  Good luck with ttc and I hope that whatever path you choose leads to a BFP

Take care

Debbie xx


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## pobby (Jun 2, 2005)

Hi Threllers
good to meet you! so sorry your'e having a rough time,this is definately the right place!
Definately dont be put off by 'stats'.. its just numbers hun and the drs have no real way of knowing how any of us will respond to treatment...whether you go for any form of ART is purely a personal choice but you can count on lots of support and advice here, it is an absolute mine of information from REAL people who are going through it..try not to be put off by stories about how the drugs affect you etc, you could sail through it...we're all different and you will find you are a LOT stronger than you think!

have a great christmas and dont let the outlaws get you down!

pobby xxx


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## SUSZY (Nov 3, 2006)

Dear Threllers
Welcome to FF and you will find lots of support and comfort here and lots of people are in the same position hence we all have the same emotions and sometimes we are not in the mood to play with other peoples kids/babies etc etc.  Its amazing how inconsiderate people can be and obviously don't realise that we think about it night and day (I have secondary if and my ds will be 5 in Feb) and I have been through quite a journey to reach my dream and I am amazed at how insensitive some people can be.  Cannot believe your brother in law expects you to help more with the kids!! (I would imagine the four year old would be easier) but its such a cheek!!!
Clommid is not the best drug and I was on it for 6 months and I think it does effect your moods etc and I also did acupuncture for 3 months and was so sure it was going to work and it has not.  I think if I had my time again I would go for IVF, our consultant mentioned it to us in Jan 05 but I did not consider it then because I did not realise I had such a problem, now I wish I had as we have had one failed IUI and now he is talking about IVF with genetic testing or IVF with donor eggs - which is quite a leap.  however if its my only chance of a happy healthy pg then I will consider.  To be honest we are taking some time out over Christmas and thinking about it although I am doing research on here too. I have started to be honest with people and not put such a brave face on things so that is always an options and say that you need time out during family dos if its getting you down.  I also use that rescue remedy from boots if I get too stressed.  Hope this helps and you know where we all are and feel free to pm me.
Take care
Susie


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## Mama Smurf (Nov 5, 2006)

Hi Threllers 

Just wanted to say welcome to FF, you will get lots of support on here and everyone is very friendly 

I wish you lots of luck and    and   

Luv Linda x


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## Threllers (Dec 2, 2006)

Can I just say what a fantastic site this is with lots of wonderful people.  I had been feeling so isolated, especially after my in-laws' comments.

Thank you all for helping me feel normal again, and giving me some much needed reassurance.  I will follow up on the stats check and all now feeling more able to tackle the IVF question.

Sorry if I do not reply to you all individually, but you're a fab bunch and don't forget it!



Sharon


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## *Scooby* (Sep 16, 2006)

Hi Threllers

Welcome to FF I am sure that you will find it helpful.  The people on here are great as well and provide you with support.

Just remember that stats quoted vary from different hospitals and its definately worth exploring your options.

Good luck for the future.

Linda xxx


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