# Not sure what the first step is



## Cariad_bach (Aug 6, 2008)

Hi everyone,

I could really do with a little advice please.

Im 30 and a mum to 3 fantastic children, there everything to me, my pride and joy.
I loved being pregnant, every last bit was fantastic all 3 times, it was wonderful.

I wont be having any more children myself, but id love to help couples or women who need help having there own.
I just dont know where to start, i dont even know how the law stands on it or what you do etc, im not great on computers and when i look for information i keep coming across stuff for America and other countries instead of the UK.

To give the gift of life to someone would be amazing....i look at my children and my heart brakes for people who want to have what i have but cant through know fault of there own, id love to be able to help someone and my OH if fully supportive of me wanting to do this.
Could someone please point me in the direction of where to start.

Thanks for reading this, im sorry if its a bit long!


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## Tweetiepie (Aug 23, 2004)

Hello and welcome to FF!!!  I just wanted to say a quick hello and welcome.  

I am also very new to the whole idea of surrogacy ... The board has been quiet but I hope one of the more knowledgable ladies come here to give you some of their wonderful advice!!

Tweets x


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## Cariad_bach (Aug 6, 2008)

Hiya Tweets and thanks for the welcome  
Im looking forwards to advice etc to.......
......im sorry i dont understand anything you've got in your Sig (told you im new    lol) is there any easy way to work out what all the abbreviations people on here use meen?


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## jsuk1 (Dec 5, 2007)

Hi Cariad and welcome 

It is wonderful what you are thinking of doing. I am a very excited IP (intended parent) who is just about to start a host surrogacy journey with a wonderful host surrogate, who I met through an organisation called Surrogacy UK. Surrogacy UK and COTS are two of the main surrogacy organisations in the UK (not sure if I'm allowed to post the websites but you should be able to get to them if you put them in to google). There are also a few smaller ones, Miracles do Happen is one of them. The organisations all work slightly differently so its a matter of finding which suits you best.

I would recommend reading as much as you can about surrogacy, the websites above are extremely helpful and will give you lots of info on the legal side of things too (which is very different to in the US). I also know that alot of the sites have message boards - Surrogacy UK has a fantastic and active message board that you can join and ask anything you like and everyone is really friendly.

For the abbreviations, there is an explanatory list here http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/component/option,com_glossary/Itemid,202

I am sure others will be along shortly to help!

Lots of luck with your research - and feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions


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## Tweetiepie (Aug 23, 2004)

Hi Cariad

My signature is rather long...

But I have tried to summarise what I have been through on it - I will try to explain each abbreviation so it makes more sense to you.

PCOS:  means Polycystic Ovaries
TTC:    means Trying to Concieve
Nat. PG: Natural Pregnancy
BFN:    Big Fat Negative
BFP: Big Fat Positive
IUI:      Inter-uterine Insemination
IVF:      Eggs fertilised in a dish by themselves
ICSI:    Eggs fertilised by injection a single sperm into the egg by an embryologist
TNF:    Tumour Necrosis Factor (immune related problem - when too high attacks  embryos and kills them)
Humira:  A drug that helps suppress the immune system - the TNF levels.
IVIG:    A drug that helps suppress the immune system - New Killer Cells.
MMC:  Missed Miscarriage
DQ alpha:  DNA (it seems that we share some which is not such good news as it means my body cannot recognise my pregnancy for what it is so attacks it)
LAD:      Leukocyte Antibody Detection test: shows if you have protective antibodies against your partners DNA - if this is low your body fails to protect a embryo (we have thsi problem too)
LIT:      Leukocyte Immunisation Therapy:  Your partners white blood cells are injected in eg My arm just like an immunisation to try and create protective antibodies for baby.
MTHFR:  A condition that makes your blood clot easily stopping blood flwo to a baby so you need aspirin and injectible blood thiners to help

These are the kind of things that effects a couple that are suffering from immune problems - like me and my DH (dear Husband).

Dont hesitate to ask any further qestions  

tweets x


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## OD2 (Oct 1, 2007)

Hi Cariad,

I just wanted to say welcome and good luck with whatever journey you start on.  I'm an intended mother (IM) with SUK as well, and our baby's due on 9 October thanks to a wonderful family we met through the organisation.  We are now into the final countdown and are thinking about packing our hospital bag this weekend just to be on the safe side.  HOW exciting is that!!!  Anyway, not only did we meet our surrogate, we've also got a whole network of people to share the ups and downs with, which has been absolutely invaluable.  So, enough of my plug! You'll find the right way forward for you, but if I can give you one piece of advice in addition to what others have said, it'd be to take your time.  It's really easy to get carried away and feel certain that the first couple you meet is the perfect one to help, but we've all seen a few people come unstuck by rushing into things, so do make sure you establish a good strong friendship before you go any further.  Lecture over!  Lots of good luck to you!!

Fx


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## Cariad_bach (Aug 6, 2008)

OD2 said:


> Hi Cariad,
> 
> I just wanted to say welcome and good luck with whatever journey you start on. I'm an intended mother (IM) with SUK as well, and our baby's due on 9 October thanks to a wonderful family we met through the organisation. We are now into the final countdown and are thinking about packing our hospital bag this weekend just to be on the safe side. HOW exciting is that!!! Anyway, not only did we meet our surrogate, we've also got a whole network of people to share the ups and downs with, which has been absolutely invaluable. So, enough of my plug! You'll find the right way forward for you, but if I can give you one piece of advice in addition to what others have said, it'd be to take your time. It's really easy to get carried away and feel certain that the first couple you meet is the perfect one to help, but we've all seen a few people come unstuck by rushing into things, so do make sure you establish a good strong friendship before you go any further. Lecture over! Lots of good luck to you!!
> 
> Fx


Thanks for the info....wow all the best of luck to you and your Surrogate for the birth of your baby, you must be so excited xxxx


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,
I saw you had found us over on SUK.
I'm a mother thanks to them, and out daughter will be two in October 
Hope you find SUK as great a place to be as we did.
EJJB
x


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## Cariad_bach (Aug 6, 2008)

oneday2009 said:


> Hi Cariad,
> 
> i know i have emailed you with some infor but wanted to also say a public welcome
> 
> ...


Thanks hun


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## Cariad_bach (Aug 6, 2008)

Hi guys,

Just a quick update, 

I was meant to have some tests dont today but couldn't go  .......my little girls head became a weird shape yesterday, there's a bulge starting on her forehead and going up to the top of her head....you can almost see it and we can defiantly feel it.

Anyway after phoning the health visitor and NHS direct we got a appointment to see the Docs this morning who sent her for X-rays etc, they say she seems ok thank god but may have a bulging membrane and were to watch her closely.

So i missed my appointment and will have to rearrange one but they cant see me till next week now because of the bank holiday etc


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## Tweetiepie (Aug 23, 2004)

Hello Cariad - 

Hope your little girl gets better soon!!    

I noticed you on Surrogacy UK and a little wish -   Im not stalking you - its just that we must have joined up at similar times - which is very recent for me.

There is a lot of info to take it isnt there.

Anyway - My name on the other boards I have mentioned is Fluffytweetiepie!!!  

Take care and good luck in your journey!!!

Tweets x


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## Cariad_bach (Aug 6, 2008)

Tweetiepie said:


> I noticed you on Surrogacy UK and a little wish -  Im not stalking you - its just that we must have joined up at similar times - which is very recent for me.
> 
> There is a lot of info to take it isnt there.
> 
> Anyway - My name on the other boards I have mentioned is Fluffytweetiepie!!!


LOL i wondered if it was you....theres seems to be a few people i keep comming across in diffrent places 

Yers theres loads of info....im the kind of person who looks everywhere, joines everything going....then gets really confused lol


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