# 4 cycles - OHSS, Miscarriage, Oophorectomy - How much more???



## skidders (Aug 3, 2009)

I feel that I've had just about all I can take.  12 months ago our 2nd ICSI attempt resulted in OHSS, but also a BFP - however I ended up having a laparoscopy for suspect ectopic due to abdo pains, the ectopic was ruled out, but I m/c at 7 weeks anyway.  

I thought that was as bad as it could possibly get - it would seem that I was wrong!!

3 weeks ago our 4th attempt at ICSI was cancelled when I was emergency admitted to hospital the day after EC with severe abdominal pains - 2 days later they removed a twisted ovary and fallopian tube via laparoscopy (unilateral Oopherectomy).  It would seem that my body is just not coping well with the constant meddling, however well intended and professionally done!

Physically I'm recovering OK but am struggling with hormonal fluctuations causing hot flashes, terrible mood swings and insomnia, and I think that I'm still a little shocked by the whole experience.  Ovaries are like kidneys apparently, one can do the job of both and I've been told that my remaining ovary is healthy and should step up to the job, but it could take 4-6 weeks for things to settle down.  It doesn't stop you worrying in the meantime that it won't, and I am so tired of the stress and guilt that I feel from deliberately putting my body under this sort of strain. 

I have had a good relationship with my clinic up to now, but they are already wanting to talk to me about scheduling FET in 2-3 months time (the one big positive that came out of this cycle was 4 healthy embryos that are now on ice waiting for me to sort mysely out!!).  However, the thought of messing with my body again so soon makes me want to run for the hills. I feel like it deserves a break, and for the first time I'm starting to question whether I am getting the right medical advice from them.  I guess it's my decision, but there are so many conflicting emotions to process it feels almost impossible making the right one. 

I know that this board is chock full of brave women going through similar and worse situations - and you are coping - how the hell do we do it?? I'm at a bit of a loss.  Each time we pick ourselves up and try again, some gremlin somewhere is just waiting to whip our feet out again from underneath us.  
I want to live my life, not spend it in a constant cycle of stress, hope and then despair - but whilst I have frozen embryos I feel like I should keep fighting, I'm starting to fear the cost of the battle though. 

The only things keeping me going at the moment is the fantastic support from DH, friends and family, and also the perspective-giving experience of watching my poor mother-in-law lose her battle with breast cancer last September.  Nothing else seems a struggle when you see somebody go through that. 

Sorry folks, this is probably a terribly negative post - I'm at a low ebb, but being able to pour out some of this to people I know would understand has been a bit of therapy in itself!


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## Cay23 (Jan 12, 2011)

Oh my goodness you really have been through the mill.   I can't offer much advice except to send you a hug and say with regards to your FET, take your time and make your decision when you're ready and not when you feel pressurised into going ahead. It constantly amazes me how after one defeat after another we continue to pick ourselves up and try again. I hope you feel better in time, but after your recent experiences you certainly deserve a bit of time to lick your wounds and look after you.   xx


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## barbster (Jan 26, 2012)

Hi skidders

You have been through alot   , not just with the fertility treatment, but with bereavement and now the big operation that you have had to go through.

Personally, I think that you need to recover physically and emotionally. I think that you think that too, judging by your post so that is what you should do. Let your body heal from the surgery and allow your hormones to settle down. It is true that your one remaining ovary will take over and do the job of two, mine does, so even if worst case scenario comes and you would have to cycle again, your ovary would still work.

Your four embryos aren't going anywhere so take some much needed time out. That way when you are ready you will also be feeling much more positive.

Take care

B x


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