# Adoption Buddies - Recently Approved 2013/awaiting a match :-)



## Anjelissa

Hi all,  

I noticed there was a buddy thread for those awaiting approval and another for those already matched/awaiting intros but I thought I'd start one for those of us recently approved and now awaiting a match  

It's lovely to catch up with everyone's news on the general thread, but there are so many of us there that it is often hard to keep up  .
I think it's just nice to also have a smaller group of people in addition to the main thread who are going through exactly the same point at the same time. I noticed we don't yet have one for us 'waiting to be matched'ers' so now we do  
In a way this part of the process is like the 2ww of tx, but often much longer (I'm sure those of you who have also had tx will know what I mean).

My signature pretty much says where we're at, but in a nutshell we have an adopted son who is now almost 4 years old and we've just been approved to adopt our 2nd child (aged 0-2).  

Hopefully there'll be a few of you who will like to join in, otherwise I'll just waffle along to myself     

Lots of luck to you and hoping your lo's find you soon    

Anj x


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## oliver222

Hoping to be joining you soon. I have panel next month.


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## Cupcakekisses

We have panel in 12 days   not that long when I write it down like that eek!!

I've started bulk buying toiletries for me and DH and am addicted to looking for nursery themes on Pinterest, in a bid to keep my sanity whilst feeding the urge to plan and shop! 

Good luck with finding a link, I hope it's not a long wait for you xx


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## Anjelissa

Hi oliver222 and Cupcakekisses,
Lots of luck to you both for panel, it will be done and dusted before you know it  
Anj x


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Thanks for creating this thread, I didn't really know which of the other threads I should contribute to so did both.

It really is like the 2WW, except that 2 weeks could be anything, but here's hoping that it's a quick link and match for all of us.


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## Anjelissa

Hi pauliboo,

Congratulations on your recent approval  
Looking at your signature your time-line was very similar to ours.

Yes, I just thought it'd be nice for those of us 'approved and waiting'ers' to also have a buddy thread as like you say the '2ww' for adoption can go on for quite some time!
Mind you our last wait was actually less than a 2ww as we were linked within days of our approval!   
We know it will take a lot longer this time though as so much more has to be considered now that we have our little man.

Lots of luck to you that you have a quick match and looking forward to chatting with you in the mean time

Anj x


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## Forever mummy 😀

Hi I'd like to join u....


We was only approved 2 wks ago but have been linked with a 4 month old baby boy. We meet his SW on Tuesday and if all goes well looking at going to MP 10th September. Just hope it all goes ok and the time goes super quick....


Hope u all get ur matches really soon. 


Lou x


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## summer girl

Hi

I'd like to join too please, my signature gives details of where we are, we're hoping we'll be sent some appropriate links soon. 

Summer girl x


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## Anjelissa

im going to be a mummy............Congratulations on your link  , that's similar to how it happened with us the first time, it was a real whirlwind!  . I hope it all goes smoothly for you, I'm looking forward to hearing more as things progress  

summer girl......Congratulations on your approval, I hope your lo's find you soon, and wow, possibly 3 at once! I'd stockpile your sleep now whilst you can!    

Looking forward to chatting with everyone as things progress for us all    

Anj x


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## Cupcakekisses

Morning Everyone,

I hope you all had lovely weekends and this week will bring more positive news of links, matches and planning.

Summergirl I second what Anj said...potentially 3 at once, wow!   

Can I ask how you all coped in the run up to approval panel?  Ours is a week on Wednesday and I've woke up this morning feeling really nervous, please tell me it's just a wave and I'm not going to feel like this for 9 more days  

Cyber slaps more than welcome!


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## Forever mummy 😀

Hi everyone 


Anj thank u, it's all happening so quickly. 


Cupcakekisses the wait seemed like ages. I was nervous as hell especially on the day. Don't no why I was nervous tho cos the panel are lovely, very welcoming and friendly. Their not here to judge us they want to help us. They will no how u feel as their is adoptive parents on the panel so they were once in our shoes. Try and relax as much as possible. It's not as bad as it seems. Your SW wouldn't take u to panel if they didn't think u weren't going to b approved. Best of luck to u.


Well tomorrow is the day, were meeting little mans SW and gosh I'm getting nervous. I don't no wot to expect. Not sure wot sort of questions I should b asking. It's all happened so quickly. I'm praying that she will like us and agree that we're rite for little man. Sounds mad but were falling in love with little man already, it just seems like a prefect match. I don't want them to say no as I'd b heartbroken. They wouldn't turn around and say no now would they?


Hope ur all well.


Love to all.


Lou x


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## summer girl

Hi All


Cupcakekisses as Lou says don't worry about your panel, you'll breeze through it, it's actually a nice experience as they usually say one or 2 strengths that they feel you have before they ask the questions, and it's lovely to hear so many nice things about yourself    try and keep yourself busy up until the panel, we have an extension being built at the moment and to be honest that helped to keep us occupied with making decisions about what we were doing to the house and not thinking about adoption at all. 


Lou good luck with the meeting, I'm pretty certain there is a thread on the resources page of this site and on the adoption uk site, I'm on my phone so can't copy and paste easily, if you can't find them then let me know and I'll send them to you later. 


Angelissa and Pauliboo hope you're sent some links soon. 
AFM whilst were approved for up to 3, in all reality I think we'll hopefully get a sibling group of 2   , we wanted to keep our options open just in case the perfect group of 3 came along. To be honest at the moment were struggling to find any suitable matches as we have some ethnicity requirements, trying to keep positive and hoping that we will find our family soon, so ready to become parents now and don't want to wait any longer !


Must get back to work now


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## Forever mummy 😀

Hi summer girl thanks for the info, I have checked the resources page but its just questions for the FC. Bu thanks anyway.


Lou x


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## summer girl

Hi

I found the Adopion UK post and have pasted the questions below. They do say it is a huge list!  It is pulled together from many, many threads and posts from people too numerous to mention - thanks to everyone who recognises their inputs.  Feel free to add to it:

ROUTINE
Can they dress / undress themselves?
What boundaries have been set – reward systems / time out / naughty step?
What is their daily routine? Can you write it out for us?

FOOD
Any feeding / swallowing issues?
Are they good or fussy eaters? – Does it take a long time for them to eat a meal?
Are they having jars, if so which ones do they like?
Are they weaned, if so, when?
Do they have any allergies - food?
Do they have formula (what make?) or cow's milk (full?)?
How much milk do they have?
How often do they eat and how much?
What are their food likes and dislikes?
What do they usually drink?
What food do they usually eat?
What type of food are they eating, lumps or not lumps, finger food etc

BATHTIME
Do they like being in the bath or is it a stressful time for them?
Do they like brushing their teeth?  Do they need help with this?
Do they like having their hair brushed, washed, dried?
Hairbrush or comb?
How do you wash their hair and what with?
What shampoo and bubble bath do they have?
When and how often do they have a bath, morning or evening?

SLEEP
Do siblings sleep in the same room?
Do they use a dummy either just at night or during the day too?
Do they have any other comforters either just at night or during the day too?
Do they nap, if so when and where?
Do they need a nightlight on?
Do they share a room?
Do they sleep soundly or does the slightest thing wake them?
How are they sleeping?
How do you soothe them back to sleep during the night if they wake up?
How do you deal with nightmares / monsters under the bed?
Is their cot in a particular place (near or away from window)? Do you have anything in the cot, toys, mobile, etc?
Is there any music used to help them sleep?
What and how many blankets / sleeping bag, etc used in cot / bed?
What is their sleep routine (time, stories, bath etc?)
Will they sleep in the buggy or the car or do they have to go to bed to sleep?

TOILET TRAINING
Are they toilet trained?
Do they need help with toilet, and washing hands etc? 
Do they suffer from nappy rash & what cream do they use?
How did toilet training go?
What are they like having their nappy changed?  Are they reasonably happy or do they hate it?
What is their nappy size?
What make of nappies do they have?
What nappy changing / bottom creams do they have?

BEHAVIOUR
Can you identify what their particular cries mean? (need food, changing, etc.)
Do they have any (rational or irrational) fears, e.g. flies, spiders, loud noises, water, smells, places, acitivites, beards, people with glasses, anything unusual?
Do they have any tantrums and what triggers them?  How long to they last?
Do they react to pain / distress of others / you when they are with you?
How can you tell when they are angry or scared?
How can you tell when they are hungry or tired?
How do they cope with pain, do they have an overly high or low pain threshold?
How do they show affection? Are they cuddly or do they push you away?
How easily are they calmed?
How would you describe their behaviour and personality? (Calm, placid, fussy etc)
If they have any contact with the birth family, how does it affect them?
Is there any thing that triggers a particular feeling, e.g. anger, happiness, fright, distress?
Is there anything that especially delights them, gets them excited?
What do they use to comfort themselves, e.g. blanket / dummy / rag / toy?
What do you do to comfort them, e.g. cuddle / stroke / hold them in a particular way?
What is their general outlook on life?
What is their 'quiet space' / sanctuary?
What do they understand about their safety, e.g. not playing with matches, knowing how to dial 999

PRODUCTS
What air freshener do you use?
What perfumes / after shave etc do the FC wear?
What soap powder / conditioner / tumble dryer additives do you use?
Which baby products / toiletries do you use?

MEDICAL
Access to medical records?
Are their inoculations up to date?
Are there any upcoming appointments?
Are they a sicky baby?
Are they having any specialised care / therapy etc?
Are they teething?
Do they go to the dentist regularly and do they like this?
Do they have any allergies to products, e.g. washing powder, plasters, etc.?
Do they have any special needs?
Do they have dry skin / baby eczema?  What products do you use?  Are these over-the-counter or prescription?
Do they like calpol or do they prefer nurofen?
Has there been any grief work done with them?
Have they been screened for hep b/c, HIV?
Have they had any childhood illnesses, e.g chicken pox, glue ear, stick eyes, etc?
How did you handle teething, is there anything they liked / disliked?
How much do they weigh?
If they take meds, how and when are they given?
What are their heights?
What do you do when they are feeling unwell?
What happens when they are teething, e.g. rash, fever, lots of drool?
What is planned over the continued review of any medical conditions?
What was their head circumference at birth and now?  These give a good indication of likely future growth.
When are their next medical / dental / opticians appointments?  Are they up to date?
When was their last dental appointment?

DEVELOPMENT
At what stage of development are their speech and language skills?  Are there any issues being or to be addressed?
Do they have any particular talents and attributes?
How do they compare in development milestones to a typical child of their age?
How is their intelligence / understanding?
How mobile are they?
What has their physical development been like, e.g. centile charts?

EDUCATION
Can they speak / read / write / draw?
Can we see any of the things they bring home from school?
Do they have a best friend at school / nursery?
Do they have any friends away from nursery/school that they may miss?
Do they have any specific skills or attributes, e.g. fantastic dancer?
Do they like going to nursery or school?
What was their last report like?

SOCIAL
Are there any other children in the foster care placement (siblings or other children) and how do they get on with them?
Are they used to playing with / having other children around?
Do they enjoy the company of adults or children more?
Do they get upset or anxious by strangers?  Do they have stranger fear?
Do they have difficulty with hugs, eye contact, close proximity?
Do they like their / others birthday and Christmas and parties?
Do they play well with friends – are they leaders or followers?
Do you take them to any / many toddler groups?
How are they with new people?
Which adults are they closest to?

ANIMALS
Are there any animals they are frightened of?
Are they used to any pets or animals?
Did the birth family have pets?
Do they like cats / dogs / birds / farm animals?
Do you have pets?
How do they behave around pets or other people's animals?

ACTIVITIES
Can and do they swim?
Do they like dancing and singing?
Do they like playing in the garden, even on dull days?
Do they like sports and outdoor activities?
Do they like travelling in the car – are they good passengers?
Do they like walking?
Do they ride a bike yet? Do they have bikes?
Do they suffer from travel sickness?
Do you use a sling / baby carrier?
Have they been long distances in a car?
Have you taken them abroad on holiday? If so, where? (Passport?)
Have you taken them on holiday in this country? If so, where?
Is there any particular equipment you take with you when going out with them?
Seating arrangements, e.g. at table, in cars, at restaurants
What are their favourite indoor / outdoor games?
What are their favourite places to go?
What are their favourite smells, e.g. seaside or flowers
What are their favourite songs?
What are their hobbies and interests?
What child seats are in the car?
What kind of pram / buggy / pushchair are they used to?
What sounds / noises do they like to hear?
Where do they most like to go? (farm, park, swimming etc)?
Which make of car seat do you use? Do they have any toys mirrors etc on it?

CLOTHING
Are there any clothes that they dislike wearing?
Are there any clothes they particularly like / favourites?
Do they have a good range of seasonal clothing to bring with them?
What are their clothing sizes?
What clothing do they have?
What is the size of their feet?
What is their shoe size?

TOYS / BOOKS, ETC
Do they have any favourite toys / books?
Do they have any music / TV / film favourites?
Is there a particular theme to the toys / books / TV they like the most?
What are their favourite toys?

POSSESSIONS
Is there anything that they really like that they wont be bringing with them? 
What clothing / toys / bedding / books / CDs / DVDs / photos / documents / other possessions will they be bringing with them?
Who gave them which possessions, e.g. birth family, other FC, etc?  Which are significant or most precious and why?

GENERAL
Are there any photos we could take with us?
Do they have any nicknames?
Double check anything you have been told by SW or medical advisors, the FC has the most thorough knowledge, and it has been known for SW to miss out important info.
How are their religous needs being met?  Do the birth family want them to be practicing their faith?
What is their legal status?  What court dates are there?  What is the likely outcome?
Where are all their legal papers / health records / personal papers / school or nursery reports / old birthday cards / old photos etc?
Will you be able to provide us with photos during their stay at the FC placement?

HISTORY / FAMILY
Are there any mental health issues with birth family?
Are there any other siblings?  What is their status? How are they doing?
Did siblings have similar ante-natal experiences?
Genetic illness in birth family?
How premature were they?
Was there any substance abuse / smoking by birth mum?
What is their ethnicity?
What was their birth weight, length and time?

FUTURE
Can we call you to ask more questions in the future?
Do they think that there will be a lot of problems when they move on?
Do they understand about adoption?
Do they understand about their past and future?  If so, how much have they been told?
Do they understand what has happened to birth mother and father?
Do you want to keep in contact?
Is there anything that you would like to know about us / need from us?
What and who do you think they will miss when they move on?
When can we give them something of ours, item of clothing or a toy for them to get used to?

ADOPTION PLAN
What contact with family, including siblings will be expected?
What is the plan for reducing contact with birth family (if any is taking place?)
What is their adoption plan?
Who supports their plan, e.g. Legal Advocate (GAL) / courts / birth family
What assessments have been undertaken and when?  Medical / Sibling / Attachment
What reports have been produced and when?  Medical / School / Nursery / Foster Carer / Sibling Assessments
Attachment specialists report / psychiatrists report.  Check to see if the child is assessed as having secure attachments with the foster carer. 

Hopefully it will give you a list that you can then narrow down 

Vanillapod


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## Forever mummy 😀

Hi


Summer girl.....wow that is a lot of questions    il have I read through and take note of some.
Many thanks


Lou x


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## Anjelissa

Evening all  

CCK.......In answer to your question re/the run up to panel, I'd say keeping yourself busy is the best bet. We tried to do bits of preparation around the house that wasn't specific to age/sex of child, eg clearing out our spare room (that was to be our child's room) and painting it etc, plus extra child proofing around the home etc.
It's easy for me to say I know, but try not to worry, we've now been to panel 3 times (2 approvals and a matching) and I can honestly say that although we were still nervous each time (as it's so important) we were never as nervous as the first time because we then knew what to expect. They are going to WANT to approve you and any questions they ask you will;
a.) be about an topic you are an expert on ie/yourselves and, b.) are quite often just points to clarify and nothing major.
It is not a requirement that prospective adopters attend panel (although nearly everyone does) so they will make their decision based on your report and your sw's information. The questions they put to you are just nice for them to have but not a big part of their decision making process. If there was anything major that they wanted to ask that could tip the scales then your sw's haven't done their jobs correctly when preparing your report. 
You will be fine and it will be over with before you know it   

Lou......Lots of luck for tomorrow  , we were like you in that we had well and truly fallen in love with our little man before we met his sw (and that was also even before we saw any pics of him as she brought those with her to our first meeting!)
Your feelings for him will be blatantly obvious to her and that in itself will hopefully help her warm to you. We couldn't hide that when we met our lo's sw and she spent most of the visit grinning at us sat there like Cheshire cats and then filling up with tears when we saw his photos.
Just be yourselves and ask whatever questions come to mind, it will all flow better than you think as it's such a positive meeting, both for you and her   

Summer girl.....Wowzers, that's some list! Really good too as there are so many things you don't even know you need to know iykwim  until your lo moves in  

Hi to everyone else, I hope you didn't get rained on today, we were visiting an old colleague and her baby today and just managed a short trip to the park before the heavens opened   . 

Anj x


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## Cupcakekisses

Evening everyone, thank you so much for all your reassuring words of advice and experience, our SW emailed me today to ask if we wanted to see her one last time before panel but said we have nothing to worry about and she is really happy with us which is lovely so we decided to not have another meeting, it would just be saying the same thing over and over and I'd just have to clean my house....again! It's just that little niggle that I don't think will ever leave from the back of my mind telling me to not get my hopes up too much that bothers me, and today's drama of not really knowing what I should wear, but I decided I'm not being judged on my wardrobe and go smart casual...DH wants to wear his flowery shorts and shirt as they are mentioned in the PAR a couple of times, safe to say SW said she'll vet his attire on arrival 

Lou good luck meeting LOs SW tomorrow, you must be so excited and I really hope that the love is mutual between you and them and LO will be coming home with you really soon.  And now with the help of that amazing list (that I've copied onto my iPad for future reference...thank you) off Summer Girl at least you should have some questions to ask  

Summer girl I hope you get your match real soon, do you have an age range in mind for a sibling group? 

Anj your experience has really helped put my mind at ease, sometimes I think it needs someone who has been through the process so can understand to explain it in 'simple terms' my friends and family have been amazing and are a great support but I often wonder if they are hoping they are saying the right thing without really understanding fully what it is like to be in the situation if that makes sense?   I think my mind is going into override, time to bump up the knitting, that'll occupy me!

Nearly bedtime! x


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## Smudgey

Hi all ! I too was wondering which thread to contribute to ! We go to panel in September ...eeek ! Good luck to all who have potential matches , can't imagine how it must feel ! Exciting and scary ! Xxx


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## Anjelissa

Welcome Smudgey  , not long now! September will be around before you know it  

Lou........thinking of you today  x 

CCK......you are very welcome  . You are right that family and friends will never quite 'get it'. Even now 2nd time around we are getting rolling eyes and subtle disapproving grunts when we mention about not seeing people for a while after placement of our 2nd one  
They've all been through it with us before but seem to have conveniently 'selectively' forgotten certain points  . I think however supportive they are, they will only really see the exciting side of it, which in one way is great but it does get a bit tiring when you have to explain certain more important and serious things to them again and again.
I suppose it's completely understandable as adoption is one of those things that unless they have had first hand experience of the assessment process, placement of a child, and beyond, they will never truly understand all the complexities, no matter how much they have been prepared with the relevant books etc.  

Anj x


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

That list is marvellous, I've just printed it out (at work of course) to put in 'the folder' for safe keeping.

Don't get too anxious about the Panel, it really isn't a bad place, they just want to clarify a few points with you.
The questions we were asked included:
How did you find the process?
What do you do to relax? - and can you still do this after a child is placed?
Tell us more about your support network, how close are they etc?

Nothing to worry about at all.


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## Forever mummy 😀

Hey   


Thank u for all ur support.


I'm so nervous but also excited. I'm just worried she may feel we're not rite for little man. I no I'm probably worrying about nothing but I always seem to think of the negatives and wot could happen rather than the positives. I'm trying to keep busy so I'm not clock watching all day lol...


Love to u all


Lou x


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## Cupcakekisses

Thinking of you Lou, I don't have experience of where you're at in the process but I would think that what you're feeling nerves wise is totally natural, it's so difficult to think of those positives when the whole adoption process batters any kind of PMA out of us by the stage of panel, or if it gives you PMA you always have the 'what if' chip on your shoulder.

I really really super hope its a fantastic meeting for you and you'll have some super exciting news to share with us soon.

Thinking of you lots xx


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

I hope it's all gone well for you today Lou.
Let us know how it went as I'm sure everyone else on this thread can't wait to get to that stage.


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## Forever mummy 😀

Hi everyone,


Well meeting went fantastic, little mans SW agrees we r perfect for him    we go to MP on 10th September. Can't wait to have our son home next month.
We have been given photos and little man is gorgeous. I'm so in love with him already. 
I'm on    can't believe it I'm a mummy at last.....


Lou xx


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## Anjelissa

Awwww Lou, that's wonderful news, congratulations!   
Not long now and your little boy will be coming home to Mummy and Daddy   

Anj x


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## summer girl

Wow Lou, that's so quick, well done you!!!!  Can I ask whether you'd had any other meetings prior to this one today? I just thought there were more, perhaps with family finder, foster cater etc? But perhaps they come after the matching panel?  

Hope everyone else is well. Xx


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## Cupcakekisses

Lou congratulations, I am so pleased for you - amazing news and the threads first official LO   it's great to see the process 'post panel' for us pre panel folk and I'm excited to hear how everything goes with you. I bet you're living on cloud9 at the moment!

I've been and bought a top to wear for panel today, not that I think my choice in clothing will make an ounce of difference but it makes me feel slightly better. Couldn't resist looking at the baby clothes either with my mum, first time we've been together it was really lovely. 

Hope everyone else has had a great day xx


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## oliver222

Congrats Lou that's lovely news.


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## Forever mummy 😀

Thank u everyone, it's still not sunk in that I'm a mummy   


Summergirl we ad no other meetings prior to this. We went to panel on 18th July and 2 wks later had a call to say  little mans SW wants to meet us. Once we've been to MP we will have life appreciation day (if that's wot it's called) where we will meet all involved with little man. Then intros 2 days later.  Little mans SW wants us to meet him now and have him home now, which is wot we want to but gotta wait.....


Hope u all have ur little ones soon   


Lou x


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## badger23

Hi guys!


Could I join your thread, seems like the perfect place I need to be. We were approved on 12th July, I'm finding the waiting tough, SW has told us there are some possible links going through care proceedings at the moment so fingers crossed the wait won't be too long.  


Thanks xx


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## Anjelissa

Hi all  

I don't have much time to read back and catch up atm but I just wanted to say welcome to badger23   and congratulations on your approval  

Anj x


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## Anjelissa

PS.....I have just amended our subject title slightly to include Autumn panels, I can't believe it's Sept next month!   Where has the year gone!?

Anj x


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Has anyone had contact with their agency/SW since approval panel?

We haven't heard a jot from them at all.  Getting a little impatient as we know our new SW (who hasn't done a home visit yet) only works part-time so don't actually know if anyone is doing anything or if they are on holiday or not!


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## Anjelissa

Hi pauliboo,
Our sw was on holiday for a week straight after our panel, but she mentioned that she'd be in touch every couple of weeks. We've had a couple of emails from her since she's been back.
I would definitely email/call them just to touch base if you haven't heard from them.
Your sw should at least give you an idea of how regularly they'll be in touch (even if there's no news).
Anj x


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Thanks Anj, that's what we thought.

I'll contact the team manager and ask what's happening.

x


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## Smudgey

Quick post as I'm off out to work , approval panel 12/9 /13 eeek ! Scared ....excited ! Love that we are all going through similar things at the same time ! Will post more later xx


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## badger23

Hi Guys,

Thanks Anjelissa! Hope everyone is ok?
I'm after some advise, we have a 5yr old niece who knows we are going to have a baby, she hasn't been told anything else. I know there are some good books around, could anyone recommend one explaining our baby will be adopted?
If I try and explain I might confuse her altogether!  


Thanks, badger xx


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## Cupcakekisses

Hi Badger,

We bought a book called Teazles Baby Bunny in preparation for explaining it to our god daughter, we found it great and there's a book in the back to explain how to get the most out of it which I thought was genious!  

AP for us tomorrow, we'll be in the thick of it right about now...my nerves aren't holding up very well today    

xx


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## badger23

Hi everyone!


Thank you cupcakekisses, I will def have a look at that book.
I hope everything was amazing at panel for you today    


Hope you are all ok


Badger xx


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## SummerTilly

Hello everyone   I was approved for a sibling group of two 0 - 3.5 years on 26th of July and am now awaiting a match. Experiencing mixed emotions following the elation of approval with each day that passes with now news.  

Several people from my preparation group (Feb 13) were linked and matched prior to panel and I'm hoping that it moves quickly for me too -  it seems as though life is on hold with each day keeping busy whilst keeping my ears pricked for that special phone call.  I've developed supersonic hearing, which will definitely come in handy for when my LOs arrive.  

Butterflies occupy my stomach pretty much 24/7.  I know that the timings of the process vary from person to person - does anyone have any tips as to how to make time fly whilst still savouring these last few precious moments of non-mummydom (there are only so many relaxing child-free baths I can take!)


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## badger23

Hi SummerTilly


Congratulations on approval, it's an amazing feeling knowing you are definitely going to be a mummy!!


I'm struggling with waiting to hear about possible links too, constantly checking phone and it is all DH and I talk about! Make the most of your time together and do nice things, we have a week off beginning of sept and are going to decorate our nursery, we have cotbeds etc in boxes in the garage. I'm might feel real when I can go into room and see it all set up.
Finger crossed you aren't waiting long, there are so many children out there wanting a forever family   


Badger xx


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Well I contacted the Social Worker on Tuesday and she replied yesterday.

Apparently due to the school holidays she's been off work and so hasn't done anything since Panel!  I was expecting she would be off on holiday for a week or two but not 4 weeks, surely you would let people know?
Although she has input our details on to the local and national registers as the form we signed and handed in 2 weeks ago requested.

It really annoys me that they are called 'social' when she hasn't been very.

We have a meeting with her on Wednesday to discuss Matching Considerations, which means she hasn't read any of our paperwork from the Home Study.  If she had, she would know what we would and wouldn't consider.

I know she's new to the agency, but you'd think that would give her the drive to impress?

Anyway, sorry for the rant.  We are off to Chester for the weekend for our anniversary.  
Hope you all have a good weekend.


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## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Just time to try to catch up a bit (whilst multi-tasking, making dinner  ).

Smudgey....Lots of luck for your panel on 12th Sept, it'll come around before you know it!

badger.....Just a couple of extra suggestions of books for your niece (in addition to the very good Teazles baby bunny, as CCK already advised).
- The Lamb-a-roo
- A Mother for Choco
We bought all of the above (amongst a few others) for our little man in order to lay a few foundations before beginning to talk to him about his story. They are quite good as you can refer back to them when starting to explain about adoption to your niece.
They basically set the scene (through animal tales) that not all families come about the same way etc. 
Summer Tilly.....Congratulations on your approval  ....another suggestion for you in addition to the long relaxing baths....LOTS of sleep!!   I wish someone had advised us to stockpile sleep prior to placement    

Pauliboo....I'm glad you contacted your sw, but sorry to hear they're not really on top of things   , I hope they manage to redeem themselves during your meeting on Weds! 

I just wanted to send   to all of you finding the post approval wait frustrating. If it's any consolation (for those of you considering going through it again at some point  ), the 2nd time is much easier as you are already so busy with your first lo/s that you do somehow manage to 'file' the waiting time whilst you are running around after your existing lo  
We are trying to 'protect' ourselves too to some extent as our existing LA use competitive matching methods  where our previous LA didn't. We just don't want to get emotionally invested and then deal with the heartache of not being chosen. It's hard though, as the more barriers we put up, the harder it may be to bond with our lo when the time comes, it's quite a fine line   
We know from last time that it's very easy to fall in love with a lo instantly (our little man felt like our son from the moment we first heard about him and it grew from there), we can't afford to let that happen with competitive matching.  
I hope all your lo's find you soon    

I'd better go and rescue dinner  

Anj x
Ps.....have now made and eaten dinner.....just realised I hadn't actually posted my message!


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## Ally Wally

anjeliisa...can you amend the title to SPRING/Summer/Autumn as we were approved in May and are still waiting. Man, this is tough!!

I've never been an anxious person, in fact have always been sooo chilled out but I can honestly say I now find myself panicking that something else is going to wrong soon if they don't hurry up and mean we will face yet another set-back or dissapointment.

pauli-boo, our sw too went on holiday without telling us and after a few emails from me,  she eventually called to say she still didn't have a match for us but at least she called ? i hope your meeting on wed brings some good news. it may be that some of the children are on the boundaries of your considerations and may just be right for you.

I know once we have a link, the time will fly but right now I am finding this really hard always being the 'pretend parent' in the group.

ally x


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## summer girl

Hi All


Ally we too were approved in May   welcome to the club. Are you with a VA or a LA and are you on the national register yet? We're with a VA and were put straight on the register and we have had quite a few potential profiles come through. We have quiet specific ethnicity requirements and most haven't been suitable but they will send you children they think will match your requirements. Perhaps you could ask you SW about going on the register? If you've been waiting 3 months then I think you're entitled to go on it anyway, and I think our sw said they were changing the rules so everyone could go on straight away, don't let them put you off by trying to get a match from your local area. Hope this helps. Is anyone else on the national register?


Badger I hope your niece will find those books useful, can anyone let me know if they think any would be more suitable for 14/16 year olds? We were just planning on talking it through with our new sees as they're older, but perhaps a book would be good, they are teenagers though and have completely gone off reading!


AFM we were considering a CPR that was looking fairly promising, there is just one point that were not sure of, I called our SW to discuss and before we could get into the detail she excitedly told us about another potential! Just from the little info we have this does seem to be a good match for us, only downside is that it's a single child but we'd come round to thinking that if we find one then we'd go for one rather than wait, we want to be a family now. Hopefully the FC is going to write a profile early this week and take a photo and we'll receive it. We have a catch up meeting on Thursday with our SW anyway so we can discuss suitability and next steps then. One minor point is that the name is the same as my nephews, who'd have thought! It's a very short name that you can't abbreviate anymore, my sister thinks its a sign    well I'm hoping it is, I can't believe after all this time, it might actually be happening or us!


Got to dash and get on with the decorating, DH would not be happy as he's been up an hour already and has started his, another day of painting awaits us!


Have a good Sunday everyone


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## Anjelissa

Hi Ally Wally,
I've changed the title to just 'Adoption Buddies - Recently Approved 2013/awaiting a match' as people will then feel they can join in whenever it is and the thread can be on-going as people are matched    

Anj x


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## Smudgey

Hi all ! Hope you all get your matches soon . What has everyone bought re furniture for LO's room , we are going for 0-3 so do I get a cot that changes to a toddler bed ? How old are they wen they go into a toddler bed ? scary that there are so many things I don't know eek !!


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## summer girl

Hi Smudgey

Welcome.  We've been advised not to buy anything yet as until you know exactly what age you're going to get you may end up with things that you don't need. I have heard that some children come with lots and lots from their FC and some with very little. I know you have your ages chosen, but if you end up at the top end of your age range then you may just want a normal single bed rather than a toddler bed (one of my friends has single bed for her children which she said was more practical than a toddler bed. You may also want to reflect what they have in their foster home. Sorry if this advise suppers your plans. Our SW says its better not to spend your money until your certain


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## Ally Wally

Thanks anjelissa.
Summer we are with suffolk LA and our SW is coming to see us on Thursday to discuss going on the NA register. I'm still not convinced this is the best route for us but we'll see what she says. Your new link sounds interesting...keep us posted on the developments. 
Smudgey, all we have bought is a wardrobe, as we kind of want to mirror the set up foster carer has in terms of bed etc. However my 'wish lists' are bursting and ready for the big shop when this all finally does happen. 
I've got so used to being disappointed,  goodness knows how I'm going to deal with the emotion of things actually happening for us one day.


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## Anjelissa

Hi Smudgey,

I agree with the others in that it may be better to wait and see what bed they are in with fc. Our age range first time was 0-2 so we decided to buy a cot-bed as it was a pretty safe bet that our child would still be in one. As summer girl mentioned, if you get matched with a child at the top end of your age range they may already be in a regular bed.
In our case we went straight from a cot-bed to a cabin style bed and didn't bother with a toddler bed. I totally agree that it's more practical and makes sense. Once you factor in all the teddies etc that our son has at the end of his bed and a few each side of his pillow he would never have fitted into a toddler bed   .
Once you know the age of your child (and if they are still in a cot) I'd recommend a cot-bed as they tend to be big enough to last them right up to when they move to a regular single. In our case we were lucky as our little man never attempted to climb the bars so we didn't even need to convert his cot bed to a bed, we just moved him into his 'big-boy' cabin bed (from the cot-bed still built as a cot) when we felt he was ready.
We hope to do the same for our next lo, so it will hopefully be coming down from the loft soon  .
Every child is different though obviously and if your lo ends up being an early climber you may then need to have a 'plan b', or just buy a cot-bed as mentioned as they are quite low to the floor and when converted are just like a toddler-bed, so best of both worlds and you then have the choice.  

Exciting times planning all these things hey!?  

Anj x


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## Smudgey

Thanks for all your replies , think we will hang on ! We were looking at car seats and prams / buggies last night too , was really weird as everyone else in the shop was heavily pregnant and I wasn't lol ! 
It's all quite confusing , so much choice ! X


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## SummerTilly

Good morning everyone and thanks for all your good wishes   

This thread is so useful because it seems like so many of us are in the same situation having to wait for matching and whilst they say patience is a virtue, I'm certainly not feeling very virtuous at the moment   

My sw is due to come over today as my parents are here visiting and she wanted to meet them (they live overseas).

I left her a message last week which she hasn't returned, so I'm not sure if she'll be here at 10 as planned.  Perhaps like many of you are experiencing, August is the time when all family finding / sws etc are on holiday.  Let's hope that they swing into action when they return from their breaks and that we all end up with our LO's very soon.

Like many of you, I'm keen to get started and go shopping, however, am reluctant to do much until I am sure of ages / gender before begin buying beds / cots etc.  

On another note, how do we find out whether our LA uses competitive matching or not?  I think this is the term whereby several families may be approached at the same time regarding the same children?

Interesting times ahead for us all


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Sorry I have been quiet, thanks for all your replies and good wishes.  I can't thank you all enough for all the positivity, I don't usually let it affect me, I'm meant to be the strong one in the relationship so this is a strange feeling.

Didn't sleep very well last nght as I'm a little nervous about what today may or (more likely) may not bring.

My DW did some research after we received the SWs email last week, it turns out that you can call BAAF and check whether your details have been inputted onto the National Adoption database or not.
Well after our SW had said she had submitted our info it actually turns out she submitted an incomplete form and that our matching considerations were missing, so we are unsearchable.

All the way through this we are told to be as honest as possible, and yet we get the one SW that lies. Brilliant!

We will see what she says this afternoon before we let her know that we have checked up.

Will let you know what happened later this afternoon, got to do some work now (seen as I'm at my desk at work).


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## summer girl

An Paul that's terrible, hope you're meeting goes well and you get some answers. You should get profiles within a few days of being added, if you don't get any next week then I'd call again. 

SummerTilly interesting question about competitive matching, it would great to know the answer. 


We have a meeting with our SW tomorrow afternoon so hopefully will find out more then, she did send an email yesterday to say she's spoken to the SW and she needs to speak to BM again to ascertain her wishes as she's new to the case, there is another couple interested, but were hoping that well get chosen as we have a ethnic match and the other couple do not. 

Got to dash as I'm not lucky enough to be at my desk yet, I've got to get there 😄


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

SummerTilly we asked whether our agency did competitive matching during the training (I think), and ours don't which is good news.  I do know that our LA do though (Lancashire).

I personally wouldn't want to, it's not emotionally fair for either adopter.

Thanks Summer Girl, here's hoping for some profiles soon. Hope your commute is a quick one (I'm out of bed at 6:20 and at my desk at 6:55)


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

I'm not going to go into all the details until later (when I've more time). But...

She wanted us to be aware that it's too late in the year  and not enough time for a child to be placed before Christmas.
She was so definitive about it and certain and told to us in such a manner she's definitely made us feel upset and depressed about it all. 

She is going to keep in touch with us every 2 months, and even then she said that like it was non-negotiable.

Has anyone else at our stage been told not to expect placement until after Christmas?

Thanks


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## summer girl

Hi Paul

That's terrible, I don't think that can be right with not getting placed before Christmas. Are you on the national register yet as I imagine that you should be sent profiles through this, although it does go to your SW first?  We've just finished a meeting with our sw and she advised that she's waiting for a response back from a SW, but next stage is that we'd get the profile and we wished to proceed there would be a meeting at our house, the LA would then make the decision to proceed with us and if they did want to a matching panel date would be set and introductions after that. I can't see why all of that can't be done for you between now and Christmas if you found the right child/children. I would consider asking to speak to someone more senior to see if you can get more progress. 

Good luck.


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## Anjelissa

Hi Paul,

I agree with everything summer girl just said, plus just to illustrate that it is possible, we were linked with our little man the same week that we were approved and he then came home 2 months later (that's the meeting with his sw, appointment with medical adviser, various other meetings, matching panel, planning meeting for intros and then intros themselves, so yes it can be done). I would add it isn't often done that quickly but still it shows it is possible.

I do know that most authorities will delay intros/placement actually over the Christmas period itself for many reasons, not least of which that it isn't the calmest time of year and therefore not the best time in terms of intros and placement.
That said, I would imagine they would have a cut off period around the beginning of Dec or even the end of November with this point in mind.
It certainly still IS possible though if you were matched at some point soon.

I can understand your sw being realistic in her explanations/views and not wanting to give you false hope, but it's a fine line between doing that and being quite bluntly negative (and in other areas simply unhelpful)  

It wouldn't do any harm speaking to someone more senior about your concerns (as summer girl suggested).
I would also add that it's quite important to have a good relationship with your sw at this point and feel you can trust them and have faith in their judgement. They are after all going to be instrumental in the biggest decision of your lives. You will also need to feel you have her support during intros and beyond. I'm not saying I would ask to change sw's but at the very least you need to know she is fighting your corner and there for you. 
Even if you don't get on like a house on fire she most certainly shouldn't be leaving you feeling upset and depressed   

Our little man's sw used to drive us mad  and wind us up whenever she visited, but unfortunately that was a necessary evil, we at least knew that we were on the same page as our own sw and could rely on her support when we needed her at various points through intros etc.
You mentioned earlier that she's new to the agency, maybe that could be the root of the problem i.e she is unsure of procedures etc?
Someone more senior may at the very least be able to set your minds at ease with regards to what you can expect from them, time scales and expected communication going forward etc.

I hope things get sorted for you soon, I know how hard the wait can be (from various good friends who have had quite a wait to be matched  ) without being unsure that you are being looked after correctly thrown into the mix.

Anj


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## Anjelissa

SummerTilly,

With regards to competitive matching I would just ask your sw.
Our last LA didn't use competitive matching but our current LA does. 
Our sw explained that with competitive matching quite a few adopters may have expressed an interest in a child's profile, the child's sw should then shortlist them down to 2 (or max 3) adopters to visit before selecting the best match.

The non-competitive matching process is the other way around in that your authority will have linking meetings and will decide the best match for a child then contact you to say that you have been identified as the best link (for a child that up to that point you know nothing about). If you decide not to proceed they will have further linking meetings and select the next best match and so on.

Yes, competitive matching is a bit brutal in that it can be heart breaking if you are shortlisted and then not the chosen ones, but one thing we have noticed as a positive is that we have more control over our destiny as the original interest in a child comes from our end.
We were very blessed in that we were chosen as the best match for our little man at one of our previous LA's linking meetings and he was our first and only match as we decided to proceed (obviously  ). 
I know we have gained some comfort in our belief that to a certain extent 'what is meant to be is meant to be' and we are hanging on to that belief even tighter now that we are with an authority that does use a competitive matching method.

You do need to know though as the two methods of matching vary greatly and it helps to know what you can expect to happen once the ball starts rolling.

Anj


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## katie c

Paul, your SW sounds as amazing as ours   

We were rushed through for a forth day prep day, after being approved in July 'just in case we were at October panel' so I'm sure it must be possible. (albeit we didn't get a match after that really positive sounding sentence)

Fingers crossed for you all


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## -x-Lolly-x-

Paul, as you know I've been following your story and wanted to say I'm so sorry to read of your disappointment. I agree that it's bad that you have been left feeling this way. I suppose the news doesn't stop a link and possible early 2014 placement does it? Although surely if a possible match is found very soon then this year isn't an impossibility surely? Again, sending you my kindest thoughts


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## SummerTilly

Gosh it's amazing how each of us is experiencing different levels of proactivity / professionalism. 

My SW did come for our meeting and mentioned a potential match however, they have to wait for a placement order before they can speak to me about it in more detail.  This is likely to happen in September, however, she was uncertain of the date.  Fingers crossed for a positive result. 

Paul - she said that they wouldn't place a child after 10th of December as it's too unsettling for the children at what has typically been an uncertain / unhappy time.  She did say that there's plenty of time for a placement before then.  As many people have said, once the ball gets rolling, it can move fairly quickly. 

Anj - my SW confirmed that they don't do competitive matching, so hopefully the child that they're talking to me about is 'the one'

Summergirl - how did your meeting go? Good luck with your match 

The wait continues


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## SummerTilly

PS - Paul, it sounds as though your SW isn't terribly empathetic or supportive.  Perhaps she has a heavy workload, and I agree with Summergirl that perhaps you need to discuss your concerns with her manager.  Maybe ask the specific question about Christmas / 2 monthly contact etc. 

Best wishes


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## summer girl

SummerTilly no real news, were waiting to hear back from a sw who has gone to talk to the BM to ascertain her wishes.  SW has read our PAR and thinks well be a good match but as she's new she wants to talk to BM first. Annoyed at this as if she wasn't new there wouldn't be this hold up 😣 our SW is going to push to try and get a provisional date in a diary for childs SW to come and see us and they are only an hour or so from us so hopefully it won't take too long to arrange. Trying not to get too excited but its so hard 😛 this child sounds perfect for us. Were hoping to hear more next week.


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

I just want to say a quick thank you to you all for keeping our spirits up.

We have guests staying this bank-holiday weekend with our two nephews in tow (4 and 8 ) so it's going to be a busy one.

Hope you all have a great weekend, and I'll be back with what we have decided to do next week xx


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## summer girl

Hi all, it's gone a bit quiet on here, I guess none of us have any news. We're still waiting to hear from our SW, I'm so itching to call to ask "Any news yet" but I know that if there had been any news our sw would have called. I really think the government needs to put some timescales in place when approved adopters express interest in children, it seems to vary so much from each LA as to when/if you get a response. 

Paul hope you enjoyed your bh weekend with your nephews?  We were full on painting and glossing mode, our extension is just coming towards an end now and our builders think by the end of the week they'll be 99% done  hopefully our carpets should come next week and flooring laid in the kitchen the week after, cannot wait to be finished and for all the dust to finally be gone!

Hope everyone else is well xx


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## AdoptionDreams

Paul I've just caught up so sorry you are going through this x


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## summer girl

Hi all 😄 we finally have our meeting set up 😄😄😄 it's not for 3 weeks but all good things come to those who wait! Our extension should all be done and dusted by then with not a builder in sight 😜 we were going to get some professional cleaners in to give the whole house a thorough clean and get rid of as much of the dust as poss so I think we'll now arrange this for the day before and we can kill 2 birds with one stone 😄. 

Hope everyone else has had a good day x


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

So what happened at our meeting last week?

Well first of all she sat down on the couch and looked at our wedding photos on the sideboard and then suggested the the DW looked very young in the photo, it was only 7 years ago so that was a nice insult to start with.

Then she reiterated that our application to the Adoption Register had been completed and we were fully searchable (we held back the truth to see what else she had to say).

Well she then went on to our matching considerations, we went through pretty much exactly what we had written in the PAR, she also had copies of all the paperwork (which outlined our considerations) from our previous SW, but failed to mention (or even sounded like) she had read them.

She then said that even though our age range is 2-5, they are concentrating the search on finding a girl as young as possible, and said that the reason is to do with attachment problems in older children (like we didn't know that), we again said we are happy to be placed with a girl who is 3/4/5, it doesn't matter too much about a younger age. She ignored us.

She then said we had already made her job a little more difficult because we had narrowed down our choice to a girl, we had been approved for a girl, we hadn't chosen that as during the HS we had stated either sex is OK, but I would prefer a girl over a boy due to my parenting knowledge/background.

She said that she would filter all the profiles and only send us a full CPR once she has spoken to the child's SW and confirmed a possible match, and also that the child's SW is happy with us.  She won't let us see any mini-CPRs as that can be emotionally draining for adopters.

Finally she said that to show that she is doing work, she will keep in touch and visit us every two months and booked the next visit in for October!

Then, just before wrapping up she mentioned "you do know it's too late now to have a child placed before Christmas?"

What? Of course we didn't think that, we had been lead to believe (by the agency) that 8-10 weeks after a link is made we could have a placement and that as there were 16 weeks to the beginning of December we had plenty of time - we had even been told not to book any holidays as they were certain a child will be here this year!

It sounds more likely that she has a large workload/poor time management (due to her working 2 days a week) and she is leaving us until 2014.

She looked like she wanted us to ask a question - I had had enough and went to the loo to calm down, my DW then said she had called the Adoption Register and told our SW that we weren't on the database yet as information was missing.  Our SW backtracked and said that was why we were having this meeting but couldn't (or wouldn't) explain her previous lies!

She ended the meeting by saying she had bought a new car and her extension is going well and something about a holiday (at this stage I wasn't listening), she again failed to look around the house, she hasn't done this yet, and also didn't ask us anything about non-adoption stuff.  It was almost like she was rubbing our noses in, as we hadn't been able to go away!

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Well after some lovely messages from some lovely people on this forum and some time to think about it for a week, we decided to write an email to our SW.

We could've laid it on thick with her, but we decided it would be better just to push getting more involved in the profiles. 
That way she would have to be in contact more than every 2 months and we could see she hadn't left us at the bottom of the pile until the new year.

We only emailed her and didn't copy in her manager, so it didn't seem like we were undermining her and so try to gain a little trust from her.

Hopefully that will do the trick, but as we don't know which days she works, we hope she replies soonish.

We also took advise and are planning to book a luxury holiday in December, we are going to treat ourselves and go somewhere we have always wanted but have never been able to before - Vegas/Bahamas/Some luxury island in the middle of nowhere.

Thanks for letting me waffle, and hopefully all good things will come to those who wait  

Paul x

(I'm sure i've missed something, but nevermind   )


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## summer girl

Ah Paul, your SW sounds like a bit of a numpty 😉 If you dont get any profiles through I would push to see the profiles of the children that come throug the adoption register as there many that we said no to and you may feel the same so it would be a waste of time for your SW to contact the child's SW. Yes it's draining but it also really helps to clarify in your mind what you do and don't want to accept, I think this is a really important part of the process, we've probably had between 10-12 profiles and read 4-5 PARs before deciding that we wanted to pursue one of them. Hope you get somewhere with you SW. 

A luxury holiday sounds fab, it's exactly what we did in July, excuse was my birthday and also the last time that we'll be able to go away as a couple 😄 hope you find somewhere nice.


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## snapdragon

Paul sorry to hear about the problems with your sw. We had a new one after approval panel and we never really got on with her. I have to say lo has been home 8 months and she has never looked round our house. I think she had very set and wrong ideas about us, for some reason she decided I wanted a girl for example. At the end of the day we have a great match. We were linked last Sept and met lo in early Jan.it is disappointing not having a lo for Christmas but we are looking forward to this year and I think it will be better as we will know him so much more. Also the first couple of months can be hard without having Christmas thrown in. We also went away on a big holiday.


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## Thandie1973

Paul,
Sorry to barge in on your discussion but felt really compelled as your SW sounds really incompetent. It is still quite possible for a child to be placed before Christmas as it all depends on the age of the child. As approved adopters you can also register with BAAF and Adoption UK to receive their monthly publications of bemyparent and children who wait. These publications will have profiles of children LA are family finding for with their contact details. You are able to follow these up yourselves and provide them with SW's details.

You can also prepare your own profile, nice photo, brief details about yourselves and the types of children you are willing to consider. Circulate this to LAs, make sure you include your SW's contact details in the profile. Good luck


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## SummerTilly

Good morning everyone! Hope you all had a great weekend. Not sure about anyone else, but each Monday morning I find myself thinking "this week there will be some news". My SW told me about a possible link 2 weeks ago, however the child is waiting for a placement order to come through "in September". As there are 30 days for me to wait for further news, it would be really helpful to know when the placement hearing will take place. I have no other information about this LO, except her age 16 months. 

Could this be a "fobbing off" tactic? Since approval in July I haven't seen any profiles at all, although 4 of my prep course buddies have placements already. 

Feeling a bit bewildered with no firm information forthcoming and wonder whether to put my name down for an activity day. Also sent a message to my SW last week with no reply. 

Surely she can tell me the date of the placement hearing so I have something to focus on? Having not read the CPR I cannot even be sure that "she's the one". 

Bit rambling I know   just got to keep busy!  Wishing you all a wonderful and news filled week!


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## snapdragon

summertilly I wouldn't say this is fobbing off as sw's frequently have to wait for placement orders and it is good practice not to tell you anymore until after as its never guaranteed. At one stage me and a friend I met through training were waiting on placement orders. In her case her sw had spoken to the Lo's and knew a  lot about the child who she was matched with. In my case no info was available and the lo had significant needs. (I was matched shortly after). You could ask your sw if she knows whether the lo looks a good match or does she just know their age.


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## SummerTilly

Thanks snapdragon! I wonder how often the courts host placement hearings - does anyone know? Would be great to have an idea of potential timeframes


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## summer girl

Hi SummerTilly

The waiting is such a tough game isn't it 😒 maybe its teaching us that patience is a virtue and well need plenty of it when we get our children 😜 I hope the month of September goes quick for you.


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## SummerTilly

Good News!  My SW and LO's SW are coming over on Tuesday at 2pm for our first meeting about a potential link    Very excited - my SW advised caution because the placement panel isn't until early October and said that if I am willing to take that risk (however minimal it is) then we can start to discuss the match in more detail.  She also indicated that the information sharing meeting could go ahead before the placement hearing to expedite things....  

Reality is now starting to hit in the form of a very strong desire to hit the shops for winter coats etc and obviously, until I know more information and read the CPR, I'm not going to know whether or not the match is for me. 

Having said that, my SW has been excellent throughout the process and has a real understanding of who I am and the sort of mummy I'll be (or hope to be) and I trust her judgement in terms of matching me with my LO. 

A few friends have suggested having a baby shower which is so lovely of them - did anyone have a 'wish list' of practical gifts (like a wedding register I guess) for their LO?  As you all know, there are so many things you need and I've already bought some things from car boot sales (high-chair, Mamma and Papas cot bed and some books) and would really like to make sure I have all the essentials covered like stair gates, covers for power points, fireguard etc

So grateful to be able to read all these posts - I have just ordered the Tomy talking book from Amazon, plus the book mentioned above My Family My Journey Memory Book - looks lovely. 

Exciting times !


----------



## summer girl

That's great news SummerTilly &#128516; will be thinking of you on Tuesday. I'm sure I've seen a list of things to buy either on this forum or on adoption uk, I'll see if I can find it. With regards to power socket covers, then I googled them and have found quite a few articles saying don't buy them, they're really dangerous:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5039454/Electrical-socket-safety-covers-are-absurd-and-dangerous-say-engineers.html

http://www.madeformums.com/forum/lets-talk-baby/dangers-of-socket-covers/14730.html

https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=6&ved=0CEUQFjAF&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.which.co.uk%2Fnews%2F2009%2F09%2Fplug-socket-covers-may-be-waste-of-money---185233%2F&ei=v8SKUcGcO6KN0wXnrYGIDg&usg=AFQjCNGqzkKCJ-YI13t53ff03ggWBo0I3g

http://www.fatallyflawed.org.uk/






Do you have a local gumtree in your area, I've been noticing some amazing bargains on baby things on there.

Off to an exchange day tomorrow just in case our potential link doesn't happen, our sw thought it was best.

Summer Girl x


----------



## SummerTilly

Thanks Summer Girl I will pass the information about power sockets onto my SW who was very keen on them. I will take a look at Gumtree as well. Have bought a cot and high chair from a local village fair where the grandma was moving house. They haven't been used as her son moved to Spain with his family so I have a Mammas and Pappas cot bed for £25 and a fabulous height adjustable high chair for £5 (£399 and £99 in Mothercare!) eBay also seem to have some good clothing bundles. 

Really keen to get some wall art too. I have emailed about the activity day in my area but no response yet - will follow up today.

Has anyone had experience of these? 

Best wishes
SummerTilly


----------



## badger23

Hi everyone!


Well, I woke up on Monday morning feeling fed up with this waiting game. I received an email in the afternoon from our SW saying he wanted to come on see us about a potential link!!!
He has been this evening and we are totally blown away by a beautiful blue of 9 months, we are desperate to proceed! LO SW and family finder are hopefully coming to see us next week and we pray   they like us.


Don't give up, your SW could call any day and change your life!! The waiting is so hard but will be worth it in the end.    




Badger xx


----------



## gettina

Wonderful news badger.
Hey all, I'm (for now!) giddy to be joining this thread after dh and i were approved last Friday for one child 0-2. We don't know who or when but we are going to have a little one come home. 
Hope this is  fast moving thread! 

Amazing bargains Summertilly. This is how we hope to stock up too. Wishing you all the best with that link. 

Hi summer girl - time dragging? 

That all sounds unecessarily painful pauliboo. I hope you get a grown up and helpful response. The holiday sounds awesome!!

Hey anjellssa, hope life's good, with little one keeping you busy. 

Keep in touch!
Gettina


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## SummerTilly

Congratulations Gettina hope it's a swift and easy journey to placement ;-) exciting times with lots of joy filled moments


----------



## summer girl

Wow badger that's amazing news, I'm slightly jealous that you've got a visit so soon, when ours was arranged it was in 3 weeks time, I've still got 2 weeks to wait! Pleased its all happening so quick for you


----------



## SummerTilly

Badger so excited for you! You're right - any day could be "the day" to receive that long-awaited call or email. 

Plus with school back this week hopefully everyone's SWs are back at work and swinging into action 

I will be learning more about my 16 month old pink on Tuesdsy and can't wait!


----------



## badger23

Thanks Gettina and congratulations on your approval    fingers crossed you don't wait too long!


Thanks summer girl, our SW is going away for 4 weeks and doesn't want to cause any delay so that is why we were seen quickly. Nothing much will happen now until they return. I hope your waiting goes quick and you have a fab meeting.



Thanks summerTilly, you must be so excited about Tuesday! Congratulations


Hope everyone has had a good weekend
Xx


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## gettina

Hope tomorrow is a good day Summertilly
X


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## SummerTilly

Thanks Gettina - now I just need to count some sheep & get some sleep so I am bright eyed and bushy tailed for the morning


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## summer girl

Good luck for your meeting tomorrow SummerTilly, I'm sure you'll find out lots of useful info about your LO &#128516; before you know it you'll go from &#128107; to &#128106;. &#128522;


----------



## Smudgey

We are at panel on Thursday and had our SW visit today and there are lots of LO waiting for adoption , she mentioned an 8 month old pink as a potential link to look at if Thursday goes to plan !!! Eeek !


----------



## summer girl

Wow Smudgey that's great news, good luck for panel xx


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## SummerTilly

Smudgey that's brilliant news  good lucky for panel and your pink link


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## SummerTilly

Delighted to say that I now have a link with a little pink 

Am over the moon xx


----------



## summer girl

Congratulations SummerTilly, that's amazing news!!!!! Any news in when matching panel will be?


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## SummerTilly

Hoping for late October with intros early November ... Just in time for Christmas  

So excited and happy!


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## summer girl

That's Perfect


----------



## badger23

Congratulations SummerTilly  that's wonderful news! What an amazing Christmas present


Xx


Smudgey, hope everything goes well at panel today!xx


We aren't meeting with LO SW until 1st Oct, from the info we have about him he sounds perfect, just hope his SW feels the same. 3 weeks to wait, it seems like forever now we know we are going to be parents, but after 6years of trying 3weeks is nothing. 


Badger xx


----------



## summer girl

Smudgy good luck for panel today. 

Badger 3 weeks will fly by, that's exactly the same length of time we had to wait, and 2 down and only 1 more week to go. I've spent the last few weeks researching baby groups that we can go to together and reading childcare books so I feel a bit more prepared, can you do the same?


----------



## flickJ

Best of luck today Smudgey


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## Smudgey

Thanks all ! It all went well we are approved ! We have to wait until ratification happens next week then SW will give us more info on little pink eeek ! We went for a lovely lunch then spent all afternoon sorting the spare room and doing a tip run ...hadn't dared to do anything with it till now just in case lol ! Xxx


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## flickJ

well done, so pleased for you


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

I just wanted to quickly check in to say that I'm still here - I've been off work for the last 10 days with a viral Respiratory Tract Infection and Polyarthropathy, so i've not been well enough to keep track and reply.

I wanted to say congratulations to everyone receiving their good news.  

We finally got a response (and I'll update you all fully over the weekend) from our SW, still no profiles yet though.

Tomorrow we are off on a BAAF Activity Day and we are dressing up as pirates!!
We wanted to go so that we could see 'real' children and the possible problems they may have, it will certainly be an education and more importantly, fun for us all!

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, Paul x


----------



## gettina

Ooh that sounds nasty paul, hope you are feeling much better now.
Do update us on the response and the activity day - interesting!
Gettina


----------



## Macgyver

Hi Paul, we went to an pirate activity day a few months ago, it was an eye opener and something I would recommend.  Made us feel like the children were real rather than photos on a piece of paper.  Have a lovely time and I hope the weather holds off. X


----------



## SummerTilly

Lots more lovely news here!  Paul how did your activity day go? I hope you're feeling better  waiting to have confirmation of my information sharing meeting and crossing all appendages that we are still on track for a November move in date. 

Have had a few bits I ordered on line arrive at the weekend - it makes it more real. 

Am reading as much as I can about toddler raising - I know I won't have much chance when little pink arrives and am sure all the info will be useful and be stored in the "mummy" corner of my brain for use when needed.

Until then, the mix of nerves, excitement and feeling of "is this really happening?" continues.

How is everyone else faring?


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## oliver222

Yay I can finally join you all. Got a yes from panel today.


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## Anjelissa

Hi all  

Paul...sorry to hear you've been so unwell  , I hope you're much better now.

I hope to get a chance to read back and catch up over the next couple of days, but just wanted to let you know our good news  
We have been 'officially' linked with a little lady (0-12 mths)  
I can't say much atm but needless to say we are over the moon  

Anj x


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## jka

Hello

I am new to this forum and to this group as well. Sorry to barge in!  

Just a bit of the background. Me and my DH set off on our adoption journey in September last year and after attending a few information evenings, we chose a VA in our area. We submitted our application in December 2012 and by the end of August last month, we were approved for one child in the age range 0-2 year old.

Since being approved in August, our SW has sent us a few profiles and we have shown interest in a LO. The child's social workers are visiting us this week and we would like some advice on what to expect and would like to hear your experiences. I believe, they will be bringing more photographs and some videos of the LO. We have been told that they will be around for 3 hours and would like to get to know us and talk about the LO.

We have also been told that post the meeting this week, we will be informed whether the LO's SWs are interested to proceed or not. We also have tentative dates in October for meeting the medical advisor and looking at introductions in November and possible move in around December.

Looking forward to any advice/hearing your experiences. Excited and terrified at the moment! 

P.S: Sorry for coming straight to the point. It will take me some time to catch up on your updates and the abbreviations!  I will catch up on all your news but sincerely wishing each one of you the very best and hope that we find our lil ones soon cos they are out there somewhere waiting for us.... x


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Hi Ladies,

I wrote a huge reply about what and where we are up to but it was deemed a bit of a rant so I've created a blog and shoved it in there instead (http://pauliboo.wordpress.com/ )- I'll create a lighter version shortly.

The Activity Day was exhausting but brilliant, it was really busy with 59 children and at least 30 of us 'families'.
I got a bit carried away with the dressing-up but I think the kids probably preferred I made an effort (take a look here http://wp.me/p3UYRz-b).

We were shown a profile booklet with specially written pieces about the children just for the event, and a picture so we could identify them. It was a little daunting as you don't normally go and start playing with kids you don't know, especially with the FC and child's SW looking on!

We went there open minded, and after our agency said that these are the 'hardest-to-place' kids and they wouldn't normally adopt from Be My Parent or Activity days, we went without any expectations.

We did find two 3yr old girls that 'matched' us (although one may not have passed our matching-considerations), and we spoke in-depth with their respective SWs. 
That was a good reason to go just for that education, as we found out why they had been placed for adoption, all about their histories and their sad little lives so far. 
One of the children had a definite reason for being harder to place, but the other we still don't really understand why she was in that group.

It definitely made us more aware of matching considerations, and what we would and won't accept, and I think that our considerations will probably become slightly broader due to it.

Anyway we have asked to look at the girls CPRs, if only to find out and learn more from the experience.

I would definitely recommend adopters go to a day.


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

So,

In response to the email we sent in 3 weeks ago, our SW replied a week later with a nice 2 sentence email stating that she would change her filtering accordingly, and that she will email us any profiles that she gets.
Great.

Well I gave it 2 weeks, which might not seem that long but we wanted to get stuck in.  I spotted DW looking at the free section on Be My Parent and so I looked into subscribing for a few months, which I did.

Part of the subscription meant that they needed to contact our SW though, so instead of giving our SW's details I gave them her Supervisor's as I knew a response would be sent on the same day.

I got a call from the Supervisor and she spent 30 minutes on the phone to me.  Basically she can now see why we were so upset about the poor communication (the promises of placement before xmas from within the HS period) and that maybe we need to speak to our SW one-on-one again so that we can iron out these teething troubles.

So, to roundup. 
- Our email was finally replied to
- We finally found out which days our SW works!!! 
- We will have another meeting to iron out some of the problems/miscommunications.


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Anjelissa said:


> Hi all
> 
> Paul...sorry to hear you've been so unwell  , I hope you're much better now.
> 
> I hope to get a chance to read back and catch up over the next couple of days, but just wanted to let you know our good news
> We have been 'officially' linked with a little lady (0-12 mths)
> I can't say much atm but needless to say we are over the moon
> 
> Anj x


Congratulations Anj, that sounds like wonderful news I bet you're overjoyed


----------



## oliver222

Glad that activity day was useful Paul. Hopefully your sw will get her finger out and you hear some news soon.


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Thanks Oliver, we hope so too.

Congratulations on approval though I'm sure things will work a bit better your end, I'm sure it won't be long for either of us.


----------



## gettina

Congratulations Oliver - well done.
Mega news Anj - exciting times, good luck for smooth link to match journey.
Aha me hearty pauliboo - checked in to your blog to see the orate costume and am well impressed. Ad you ad a good afternoon too and how things get better with your sw too.
Woohoo tomthenshoping Summertilly.
Afu - sw visiting tomorrow to discuss comms during this stage. We are booking a holiday to help time go by.
Xx


----------



## Smudgey

Sounds like you have all had good news , Paul am glad things might be moving forward , the activity day sounds great ! Well done Oliver ! 

We ar just playing the waiting game till we get ratification letter hopefully should be Thursday / Friday this week  

We are emptying spare room and painting this weekend eek !


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Smudgey said:


> We are emptying spare room and painting this weekend eek !


You're ahead of us, we really need to get a start on the Guest Room and turn it into the dream 'little girls room' instead.

Have fun x


----------



## summer girl

Hi All

It's nice to see it so busy on this thread  

Paul your activity day sounds great, glad you had a good time and I hope your enquiry leads to a positive outcome for you. Good luck with changing your spare room into a "dream little girl" room. I hope you get your meeting with your SW sorted soon and get a productive outcome.

Smudgey good luck for your decorating this weekend, we're coming to the end of a six month mammoth extension project so wishing you the best for your decorating this weekend, I'm sure you'll have lots of fun. Hopefully you'll see some links come through as soon as your ratification letter comes through.

Gettina good luck with your SW meeting today, hope it goes well, let us know where you book for your holiday  

Angelissa amazing news on your link      , a little pink will be so exciting, do you have any news on timescales for matching panel, introductions etc? 

JKA welcome to the forum, you're in the right place  I too have a link meeting this week and have been advised that it will be to find out more about the child and for their social worker to find out more about us. Hopefully your SW will do this with you before the meeting, but go through the CPR and see if you can spot any gaps or areas that need further clarification that you can then use the meeting as an opportunity to get some answers.  with your meeting and let us know how it goes.

Oliver welcome too, hopefully you'll get your ratification letter and the search will then begin in earnest  

SummerTilly, hope your shopping is going well. Do you have any news on timescales for matching panel, introductions etc? 

Badger, hope you're holding in there, not long until 1 October and your meeting with the SW  

Hopefully I've caught up with everyones news, apologies if I've missed you out. We had a call from our SW yesterday who had just come back from holiday, she's spoken to the other SW and confirmed they are not going to be seeing anyone else and "are hoping for a positive meeting on Thursday"  . It was music to my ears, heres hoping DH and I don't mess the meeting up! Our carpets were supposed to arrive today to be fitted and they haven't, hopefully they're coming tomorrow! The kitchen floor also should be finished being laid tonight, however the guy said he might have to come and finish it off on Wednesday night, there's nothing like fly so close to the wire! Our SW is coming at 1pm and the childs SW and manager are coming at 2pm, so hopefully any last minute things can be done on Thursday morning.

I must get back to work now as just had a really long chat with my sister also and have loads to do! Have a good day everyone


----------



## jka

Thanks for your response, summer girl.  It was a relief to read your message and good luck for your link meeting.

I managed to speak to my SW today to find out some more details and they are planning to visit us on Thursday and our SW has agreed to meet with us an hour earlier. I also wanted to find out if there would be an inspection of the house and I was informed that they would like to have a look around and to check what preparations we would be making to welcome the LO home, that is if they decide that we are a suitable match. There is another couple on the waiting list for this baby.

Angelissa, SummerTilly, Badger, Gettina, Oliver, Paul, Smudgey - good luck with your upcoming meetings. It's really positive to read your journeys so far and lets hope the wait is not too long for all of us.

Will keep reading..sorry if I have missed anyone out. I will get there eventually!!  x


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,
I've had a quick read back to try to catch up, but don't have much time so I'm sorry if I've missed anyone's news  (or mixed anyone's news up as I've had to read through quite quickly).

Summer girl.....Lots of luck for your link meeting on Thursday  
No we don't have a timescale yet for matching panel and intros, but as there are a few things to happen first they have advised that it may not now happen before the early Dec cut off for Christmas, more like January. We're fine with that though as it will be less stressful and rushed, plus as our sw advised, if we have a particularly difficult time during the early days of placement our little man may link that with Christmas and it could affect future years  . On the bright side we'll have one more special Christmas with just our little man, so either way is fine with us. We should know a clearer idea of time scales after our next meeting (next week). 
SummerTilly.....Congratulations on your link    

badger.....Congratulations and I hope 1st Oct comes around quickly for you    

Smudgey....Congratulations on your approval and your possible link     

oliver222.....Congratulations to you too on your approval    

jka.....welcome  and lots of luck for Thursday  

Not sure what's with me and all the 'smiley's' this evening?!    

Hi to everyone else  
I'm going to try to do a better job of keeping up from now as it's quite hard to read back 7 pages to catch up!  

Night all  (just thought I'd throw that one in at the end!  )

Anj x


----------



## summer girl

Loving all your smileys Anj 😄


----------



## GERTIE179

Just jumping in to say huge congrats to Angelissa. You met your little man around when we started prep and I remember you well in those early days.
Sounds like everything is working out as you hope. Can't wait to hear about the new addition when rady to share.
X


----------



## Anjelissa

summer girl said:


> Loving all your smileys Anj &#128516;


Lol  summer girl, yep, I must be in quite an 'expressive' mood this eve   

Gertie.....awwwww  , thank you  , and hasn't that time flown!  
How's everything with you? x

Anj x

Ps...off to bed now so may not reply until tomorrow.


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Summer Girl, Did you get my email earlier?  

Congratulations on the successful link, and hope the Kitchen floor has set before they come so you can me some brews!

JKA, welcome to the thread I'm sure you'll fit right in and sorry I missed your post.

Anj, sorry that there is a delay at your end, I can understand the Christmas thing, but we are still some way off the start of December yet.

AFU, First day back at work for me tomorrow after my illness, not really looking forward to it but it will help take my mind off things until our SW finally contacts us!  We're hoping for a phone call from her tomorrow so we can meet up and get everything on the table and sorted.

Paul x


----------



## SummerTilly

So Thursday is a special day for Summergirl and JKA - I was really impressed at my meeting with my SW and little pinks SW as they really brought everything to life. Have been amazed that others in my prep group have just received the CPR in the mail without call / prior warning  

Summer girl I hope everything is ready in time for Thursday and that everything goes well  

Angelissa you're right in that there are lots of positives to both a before and after Christmas placement and I am sure that the timing will be just perfect for you and your family whatever happpens.

It's felt a bit like Christmas here as a few on line purchases I had forgotten (!) about arrived and they're fabulous (just leggings and dresses from H&M but soooo lovely and reality making) 

Welcome to all the new "faces" it really is a pleasure sharing everyone's journey towards parenthood 

I am now waiting for confirmation of the information sharing meeting which is due to take place on 30th September which hopefully will then be followed by matching panel on 23 October and intros early November 

Have a fabulous day everyone


----------



## lynsbee

Hi,
Well I guess I best join here really!
We were at Approval panel this morning... BIG FAT YES's all round x


----------



## gettina

welcome to the thread lynsbee


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Just a quick teaser post before I go to bed (I'm up at 6.20am for work   ) to say that we might have found our daughter  today 

We are also in the unenviable position of having a second link, and she is just as cute so deciding between them is a toughie!

Just waiting on some important news from our LO's SW regarding whether she is too close to us or not (geographically speaking).


----------



## summer girl

Wow that's great news Paul, it's an amazing feeling when you think that you found the child that you're looking for 🎉 hope this doesn't offend anyone, but its like finding out you're pregnant bu hopefully you dont have to wait 9 minths to get the child 😜 good luck with getting more information. 

Welcome lynsbee

JKA good luck for today 😄


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

The fact we found our LO at the Activity Day makes it even more sweeter.
She is just so cute, I have had to hold back any emotions since Saturday until we read her CPR yesterday.

I hope the distance thing doesn't prevent us proceeding though, she's in the next town over from us - around 20 miles away, so not far in adoption terms.


----------



## Smudgey

Paul that's great news  will keep everything crossed !!!


----------



## -x-Lolly-x-

Brilliant news Paul, everything crossed. Just to let you know we were shown a few profiles of little ones in the next town, only 8 miles away   We raised the distance issue and were told not a problem. We disagreed and said no on that basis and asked for no profiles of children within close proximity. But we would have been fine with 20 miles and if they were ok with 8 I'm sure all will be ok. Exciting stuff


----------



## GERTIE179

Congrats Paul - like Lolly our agency didn't think dusts CW a problem - we did for the 1mile over town but 20miles is quite a lot unless you think there would be overlap if high schools with extended family etc.
Good luck x


----------



## oliver222

Really pleased for you Paul, fingers crossed.


----------



## summer girl

Hi all, our meeting went well. Hopefully they're going to let us know later today, but it was very positive and if it all goes ahead introductions could start at the end of November 😄


----------



## SummerTilly

Wonderful news Summergirl   What did your meeting entail?

Paul - any closer to a decision?  

Lots of fab things happening - so pleased to hear about everyone's progress  

SummerTilly xx


----------



## jka

Hello everyone

Glad to hear your news, Paul. Have you heard anything yet?

Our meeting went well, I think. The LO's SW's were here from 2 to 4pm and we got a lot more information about her. Also, got to see a few more photos and videos of her and she is gorgeous! 

The SW's will let us know their decision by tomorrow morning. If all goes well, intros towards end of November and moving in by December.

Summer girl - our timelines seem to match...glad your meeting went well. 

Hope all is well with the rest of you? x


----------



## SummerTilly

JKA - good to hear about your meeting - was it the first meeting about your LO?

I had one two weeks ago and I saw photos from when my LO was 9 months old (she's 16 months now).... 

How exciting!


----------



## jka

Yes, it was my first meeting SummerTilly.  

I am exhausted as I had to clean up and make our home spotless for the inspection. They also had lunch with us, so prepared some sandwiches for lunch. It has been mentally draining as well.

Can you let me know how long intro's are normally? Our LO is less than a year old...

Also, how many weeks paternity leave are your DH's taking during the period. 

Lots of questions and thoughts crossing the mind.   I guess that's pretty natural after the long day...   xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,
Just dashing in and out....

Paul.....that's wonderful news!  (I doubt they would have a problem with 20 miles, unless there are severe security issues of course). Fingers crossed for you  
I'm glad all the meetings went well today! Lots of intros starting in the next few months, so exciting!   

We should get an idea of the plan for our lo in our 2nd meeting next week but our sw has said that the LA lo is from are notoriously bad for being a bit long-winded and slow with getting things done, they also have slightly more steps in the procedures that happen from linking to placement than most LA's   , hence why our sw advised that realistically it may be January.
As already mentioned, we are fine with that though, I think it is slightly different the 2nd time around as you are balancing the needs of both children.

jka.......intro lengths can vary greatly, with our little man (also placed under 1 year) they were only 7 days (including our rest day!), but they think intros this time (similar age) will be 11 days.
It depends on many things but on average they are 1-2 weeks. They tend to be slightly shorter the younger your lo is.
Last time my dh took 2 weeks adoption paternity leave and then 2 weeks annual leave on top of that, and he hopes to do the same this time. He took 'special family leave' for intros so that was in addition to above    

lynsbee...Welcome and congratulations!  

That's it for now, night all x

Anj x


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Hi all, another quick message as I don't have loads of news.

LO's SW got back to us and said as long as we weren't the type of people who enjoyed visiting this town then it would be up to us to take any risk.
The town in question is a popular place and luckily we (I) hate the place.

Next up is LO's SW looking at our PAR -it's all a bit topsy turvy the way things are happening as it was us who found our LO and not the SWs.  They have read our profile and are happy with that.

Now we wait until our SW returns to work next Tuesday and then we will know either way what is happening.

Paul x


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva

Good luck Paul.  I was at the activity day too and would love to know some of the wonderful children found their parents there x x


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

JKA - your DH can take up to 2 weeks statutory adoption leave which is paid at a rate of £136.78 per week, unfortunately that's pre tax and other reductions! more here https://www.gov.uk/adoption-pay-leave/pay

He will then have to take holiday leave or unpaid leave on top of that.

I know that the 2 weeks of introductions will eat up my statutory leave, and so to spend time with the LO I'll have to take my holiday leave in bulk - which would've been ok if it was happening this year as i've still got 3 weeks, but next year it will be tough.


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

DIY Diva said:


> Good luck Paul. I was at the activity day too and would love to know some of the wonderful children found their parents there x x


Ooh, did you dress up too? and did you find anyone?

We were very lucky with the weather!


----------



## Sq9

Hello everyone  .  Do you mind if I join you - we were approved yesterday  

Good luck Paul - interesting to hear about the distance issue.  We live in quite a small town but our LA are happy to place much closer than 20 miles away. 

Good luck everyone else who has potential links.


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Sq9... Welcome to the thread and congratulations on getting approved, hopefully your agency is efficient and doesn't delay matters.

Lolly...Good luck tomorrow, I'm sure you can't wait to meet your LO - and I bet you don't sleep tonight!

JKA & Summer Girl... Glad your meetings went well and hopefully you'll both get the good news you deserve.

lynsbee...Almost missed you there, welcome and congratulations!


----------



## summer girl

Hi All


We got a massive yes      we're so pleased!  SummerTilly I have to say the meeting was very strange, they started to tell us about the child, a little about how the child is with his social worker, background etc, medical issues (there are none!) and a then about the legal status.  We asked a few questions for clarification, they showed us a photo that had been taken quite some time ago and said that unfortunately they hadn't been able to bring any up to date photos as someone was making the life story book, they have now told our SW that they'll email an up to date photo next week.  We asked if they wanted to ask us any questions and initially they said no, but then said they'd quite like to see which bedroom would be used as the nursery, so we showed them round the house!  We came back to the table and they asked us what they thought would happen next and timescales, which our SW came straight out to say we hadn't wanted to presume we'd be chosen so what their LA timescales were like.  Very strange we though.  Anyway they're aiming for introductions at the end of November.  They said they were going to talk in the car on the way home and would call our SW later that afternoon.  We got our call from our SW about 5.15   


When they left our SW was baffled that they hadn't wanted to ask us any questions, in a way this is really positive as perhaps our PAR was really comprehensive, they did say they'd narrowed down the match to us from 3 couples, so I'm guessing we must be the best match for this child   


i think I've prattled on enough now   


JKA we've been told our introductions will only be a week (our child will be 0-12 months).  Did your 


Paul I'm pleased that you seem to be progressing along nicely, I hope you get more good news next week.


Sq9 welcome to the boards   


Anjelissa hope you get some news soon   


Actually having an early night for a change and not staying up till 11 to paint, I can't tell you how good that feels   


Have a good night everyone.


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

That's brilliant news Summer Girl, hopefully you'll get a good nights sleep now.


----------



## lynsbee

Lots of FANTASIC news on here!!!!
Sorry it's too early for me to do the personals! Already been up an hour and haven't stopped!!


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva

We brought a few props but my DH hates dressing up so didn't go the whole hog. We didn't find a lo but were really glad we went and found it very useful x


----------



## jka

Thanks Angelissa and Paul for your responses.

We got a yes from the LO's social workers this morning!  

The next meeting with the medical advisor and foster carers may be around mid October. Matching panel around mid November and intros at the end of November.

The intros may take 10 days but we are hoping that we can negotiate and reduce this to a week as our baby is less than a year old.

Summer girl - congratulations on your good news. Time will fly and even before you realise it, your LO will be home for christmas.  

Welcome SQ9 -I am new here as well but this group has been amazing. It also keeps you motivated hearing so many good news and positive stories. 

Angelissa - Good luck for your second meeting next week, do keep us posted!

Paul - anything yet?

SummerTilly - Sorry, I have gone back a couple of pages to check your posts and to see whee you are upto but I am struggling. What's happening at your end?  

xx


----------



## summer girl

That's great news JKA, so pleased with you sounds exactly the same as me maybe we'll even have our matching panels on the same day and start intros at the same time 😊


----------



## Smudgey

Got our ratification today , and our SW is dropping a profile off for us to read on Monday , can't wait to find out more about her !! 

Everything sounds like it's moving along nicely for everyone , so exciting ! And Scary lol !


----------



## SummerTilly

Smudgey - that's such wonderful news   do you know little pink's age at all?

I'm getting excited for information sharing on the 30th and hope for matching panel on the 23rd October... seems like lots of people in my LA are being matched up at the moment - nearly all our prep group are through so they've worked amazingly quickly.

For some reason, it feels like these last few weeks are moving at the slowest pace.  Does anyone else feel that after approval time seems to be on another plane entirely...?


----------



## summer girl

Smudgey that's amazing news 😄 I know what you mean by being excited and scared at the same time! I went to one of my good friends baby showers today and a lot of my friends were very excited for me and reality is setting in that we're going to have a LO by Christmas!


----------



## Smudgey

Hi summer girl and summertilly , 

LO is 8 months old , that's all we know so far and that she's been with her FC since 6 weeks old . 

it's so scary to think that we might be mummy's by Christmas ,  

Totally agree that the time seems to be going slower now ! 

painting the nursery tomorrow eek !


----------



## Macgyver

Smudgey - that's great news, I wish you all the best


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

That's great news Smudgey.

Have they said to you that it could be before Christmas?


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Good luck tomorrow Macgyver, I'm sure meeting your LO will be amazing! x


----------



## Smudgey

Hi Paul , yes it was one of the things I asked our SW while we were in the room waiting for panel . I think maybe if this LO isn't right then we be pushing it for a ore Xmas match .i also think cos she is so young Xmas isn't quite as big a deal . Maybe if they are older and understand more then it will be harder to place close to Xmas . Any more news on your LO ? X


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

We are still waiting for our SW to go to work, fortunately she's working 3 days this week - from Tuesday.
I'm sure LO's SW has read our PAR by now and made up their minds, it's just a little frustrating as we have both fallen for her - she's just a gorgeous little 3yr old  

I'm in two minds whether to push for before Christmas with the same reasons as yourself, apparently her LA is very quick which should hopefully push our SW along a bit - but I don't really mind if it's after Christmas now, at least next Christmas will be amazing!


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva

Paul I went for breakfast yesterday and there was a sign up in a shop saying 95 sleeps till Xmas.  That's loads in my opinion.  If you have a month for paper work 2 weeks for rubber stamp and 2 weeks for intros that still leaves about 50 days till Xmas.  Ages for a 3 year old.  I personally would have Xmas just the 3 of us at that stage in time but delaying 4 months seems a long time to me. Good luck either way x x


----------



## GERTIE179

Just to add originally we were led to believe by FF that our LO could be home by Xmas (we knew of him by Sept) but due to the meetings that had to be coordinated etc it would be too close to mid dec and both agencies would not move LOs at this time..

I've spoke to others with older ones and if they moved close to Xmas it can add other complications in the relationship as Xmas has a lot of focus about families and it can dredge up other feelings when Los be one more aware of their past.

It's not often I understand SWs rules but this one is well researched and based on real life adopters. I have a relative under care and Xmas and birthdays really bring up issues as they are now older.

Its very hard when waiting but your Los are out there x


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Oh I completely agree and understand the views, it's just a need to know when their cut-off point is for me.
Just wondered what other people had been told at this stage.

If they say it would be too emotional for the LO and the FCs from now until the New Year, then so be it. It would just be nice to know so we can plan our time together.

The fact that our journey to have children has taken almost 6 years, what's a few months more?

Paul x


----------



## GERTIE179

I think its a case by case situation. We were originally told LO could be home by Xmas as we knew of him by this point last year, however a lot of info had to be shared and coordinate. Technically we could have done intros mid Dec but it would have been fraught by us as well as the FCs emotions. Those extra weeks let us all get prepared but we did keep it from family so Xmas was just our normal one and was nice to have as this year we will be doing things very differently and very low key (I'm a big Xmas person so I've had to adapt & change my expectations).

It's tight from now on but not impossible if everyone works together to accomplish it. Personally I would expect jan dates for intros. 
X


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Luckily we aren't very Christmassy people, my DW is Jewish and finds Christmas a novelty and I'm just not bothered about it.

I'm more than happy for intros to start in the new year, I just can't wait to get on the journey x


----------



## GERTIE179

Yes I remember that feeling - hopefully youvet your good news soon. I really struggled with the waiting game (we were over 10months since approval & would've been longer had we not found lil man). I like to know ahead so I can plan ;-)
Definately worth it in the end.


----------



## Smudgey

So macgyver sounds amazing ! So pleased for you !! 

Got the CPR , two things bother me I want a bit of advice please ! LO is in our LA and BF live on the other side of town , but BM has no fixed abode and has been seen around 15 mins from us . SW said she is v low risk and has accepted the adoption order . 
The other thing is I've looked on ** and she has LOs name in her profile name and has pics of LO plastered all over her profile pic and ** , as has Grandma . grandma also has LOs name tattooed in a visible area . This makes me uncomfortable tbh . 
SW has said that part of the intros will include us meeting BM ? I don't really want to do this seeing as she is so close ? 
LOL sounds perfect in every other way , but feel like I wouldn't want BM to know who I am and I feel a name change would be necessary also ? What do you all think ? Xx


----------



## snapdragon

Smudgey  our Lo's BP's are in a neighbouring la and we were supposed to meet them. The meeting had been delayed and we then found out they visited a supermarket and country park in our la, not that far from us. The supermarket we never visit but we do the park. Anyhow I was then worried about meeting them but at my next meeting with lo's  sw they had already decided to cancel due to the risk of meeting. My la don't allow any meetings if BP's are in the same la. I would express your concerns. You don't have to agree to meeting.


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva

We have said we are happy to meet BM but our SW made it very clear that would only happen if it was safe to do so. If they regularly will be in close proximity geographically then for me personally I wouldn't feel happy to have the one off meet. 

** I have very different feelings to most people on here and I am not saying I am right and others are wrong it is just my take. Don't look at BF ** any more it's just going to worry and upset you. In this day and age unfortunately it is a  sad fact that nearly all BF's will have photos of LO's on ** people are obsessed with putting pictures of kids up. For me I would just rather not see it because I can't change it and it will just upset and stress me. I know others have posted about how to get stuff taken down but I don't think you can get pictures taken while the child was in their care taken down just any taken since that they may have posted (but I am not an expert.) 

I would raise all these concerns with your SW and see what they think. Then really weigh it up with both your heart and head it's a really tough  one. Good luck x x x


----------



## Smudgey

To be honest it didn't upset me , I'm glad I looked , as the name association on the ** page is a warning to maybe look at getting it changed . I feel for BM tbh , she looks like she's just lost her way in life and has admitted on ** that adoption is the right thing for her BC as she not ready to be a mum , which makes me feel better iykwim ? It's So sad tho xx


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva

I'm glad it didn't upset you and it was useful to see. Never thought about ** as a route to seeing the human (for want of a better word) side rather than reported side of BF.  Fran on the Intros thread battled SW's over name changes and won so it is possible if there is a risk. She is head long into intros as the minute so unlikely to give advice at the moment. If you read her diary there is some stuff about it on there. Good luck xx


----------



## Miny Moo

Have just spoken to SW of a LO we are interested in and she is very keen to come visit, woo hoo. 

Just arranging it now as our SW is off sick!!


----------



## oliver222

Oh good luck Miny Moo, hope all goes well.


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Great news Mini Moo.

We finally have some news too.

Our SW emailed me this morning to let me know that a Matching meeting took place at LO's LA today to consider our PAR and said that other interested adopters from the Activity Day had submitted their PARs too    so in effect we were in a competitive match!

I suppose it was our own making, as we found LO ourselves, we know that our agency don't do competitive matches.

Anyway, now for some great news.  We were chosen as the best family!!!!!    

We will be meeting LO's social workers on the 24th of October - it would've been sooner except the SWs are on holiday concurrently, so we'll have to wait until then.

Paul x


----------



## -x-Lolly-x-

Brilliant new Paul!! Go paint that nursery


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## GERTIE179

Excellent news Paul - definitely time to decorate and plan ahead as much as you can


----------



## oliver222

Fantastic news Paul, really pleased for you. That pirate outfit was worth it.


----------



## summer girl

Congratulations Paul, you and your DW must be soooo pleased, 24th October will be here before you know it! It will give you plenty of time to decorate as everyone's said and also perhaps to do some research as to activities you'll be able to do with your daughter when she's placed with you 😄

Minimoo congratulations in your news, hopefully you can get your meeting arranged ASAP and have some happy news to share with us all 😄

We're still waiting for our timescales, meeting dates and photos to be sent to is, feeling very impatient!


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Great news Paul x


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Thanks everyone for your kind messages.

We just can't quite believe it's all real    
Daisy (not her real name) is going to be our daughter, saying it out loud is the strangest feeling - now I understand what all you are doing and saying.

Luckily I removed all the furniture from the guest room on Sunday and dismantled the very large Ikea bed that was there - and put it on eBay for a little extra 'nursery' money. Her nursery is going to be lovely, I'm glad I saw her dressed in pink on the Activity Day, she is so getting a pink room!  

I think we are going to start decorating this Sunday, well stripping the walls anyway.

Paul xx


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## jka

Congratulations Paul - great news!!   Things will move a lot quicker from here. Before you know it, Daisy will be home with you.  

Just a tip, Paul - Since your SW is not very responsive, it will be a good idea to prepare all your questions on the CPR (if any), on your lil girl and the future dates for the meetings with medical advisor/foster carer/etc, matching panel, intros etc. You can then get direct answers from the LO's SWs on the 24th of October.

Minimoo - great news for you too..x

Lots of linking going on here and the feeling is absolutely amazing!

We have started getting updates on our LO's progress and she is keeping well. Can't wait to see her and pick her up..  

x


----------



## Jules11

Paul,

Lots of hugs and congratulations   .  So so glad you found you're little princess at last and you have the added joy that you've already met her and won't have the "what if we don't like her worries".  

Enjoy your celebrations and nursery preparation.  DH enjoyed getting our nursery ready so much I started to worry I'd come home to find our bedroom painted princess pink  

Are you planning on wearing your pirate costume for intros  

Jules xx


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## Sq9

Congratulations Paul. May the decorating commence


----------



## gettina

Woohoo Paul - that has happened amazingly fast/smoothly (after your earlier SW issues)
hope all goes well with the matching process - keep us posted.
gettina


----------



## summer girl

Hi all

Just a quick update from me, we've finally seen some photos of our LO and I can say we're both smitten! We've had meeting dates confirmed too, 11 Oct for medical advisor meeting and we've requested a meet with foster career in the morning if poss as we'll be in the vicinity for the meeting anyway, 12 Nov for matching panel and 25 Nov for planning meeting. I am a little confused as I did say to our sw that I thought that the introductions were going to start on 25th and she said that we'd get to see LO that day. I thought the planning meeting was to discuss the timings for the intros, have I got this wrong?

JKA any more news on your appointments?


Not sure that I should be posting on this thread anymore, should I move over to the matching panel thread although that is for autumn matching panels and ours is in the winter! Was does everyone think?

Summer Girl xx


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## GERTIE179

Hi summer girl - congrats on your LO. Planning meets are usually to iron out the details of the intros. For Los age, SWs will have an idea if how it will go but the meet is for all to agree this works and adjust as necessary. We had planning in the morn and met LO that afternoon. Happy days x


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## summer girl

Thanks Gertie, that makes sense now    congratulations on becoming a forever mummy


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## jka

Hi Summer girl

Our dates are very close..on 16th October, we meet foster carer in the morning and medical advisor in the afternoon; panel on 14th November and intros around 25th November.

I think we will be setting off to meet our LO's on the same day?  

xx


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## SummerTilly

Just catching up on the drive back from the airport (I am the passenger!)

Congratulations everyone and Paul so delighted for you


----------



## summer girl

Hi JKA

Yes I think our dates are really similar and well be setting off on the same day to meet our LOs 😄 we have some distance to travel for ours so I'm hoping that they at least give us some idea of what the intros week will be like. If we're only there for a few hours the first few days we can travel back and forth, but I think when we're there for bedtime and early morning we'll have to stay somewhere locally as it would be too much. Have you thought about what you're going to do during introductions?

Summergirl xx


----------



## SummerTilly

Congrats JKA and Sunmergirl - I think my intros may be just before yours. I have a 4 hour round trip from mine and think that I will stay in a B&B for the first couple of nights as I will be on my own. I started a thread of what to do during intros that may be of interest to you both? 

Hopefully the LA takes distances into account and we can plan some sensible meeting time eg morning day 1, afternoon / evening day 2 and then morning / lunch day 3 and so on. 

My medical advisor called me yesterday and said LO is meeting her developmental milestones which is wonderful news. Information sharing on Monday and hopefully matching panel on 23rd October. I can hardly wait!

Am going to get my tomy book ready this weekend. 

How do people do their videos? 

Best wishes
SummerTilly x


----------



## Smudgey

Hi all , lots of linking going on eeek ! 

Summergirl - wow !  Exciting news ! Do you think LO will be home for Christmas then ? 

JKA - not long to wait now wow !!! 

Miny moo -Good luck ! 

Paul -fabulous news ! How's the nursery coming along ? We have Bought a new floor and painting is well under way , all the old furniture is in the tip   ! 

We are still waiting for news from our SW , she's back in today so hopefully we will hear something ! 

happy Thursday all xx


----------



## Sq9

I'm not doing very well with this waiting game and its only been just over a week  .  We haven't had ratification letter yet so maybe sw is waiting for that before she comes out  .  I have permission from hubby to contact her next week if we don't hear from her.  We've got a holiday booked in about six weeks but that seems like ages away so I clearly need something else to take my mind of things. Shopping?? Xx


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Paul that's amazing news!!! Congratulations 😄😄😄


----------



## Starmaker73

Paul that is brilliant news.  So happy for you.


----------



## summer girl

Smudgey yes we should only have a week of introductions due to LOs age so all being well we'll be home the first week of Dec, hopefully just enough time to still have our family down for 2 days at Christmas 😄

Sq9 yes the waiting time is awful, we were lucky enough to be distracted with an extension which we're only just coking towards the end off. So would recommend that you think about clearing room for your LO, we didn't want to but anything as we didn't know what age our LO was going to be, but I did do lots of window shopping and looking on gumtree for bargains 😄😄 I know that as soon as we got our ratification letter we went straight onto the adoption register and had profiles within a few hours of being added, not sure if you're with a LA or VA as if you're with an LA they may try and match you to their children first. Good luck with your call next week. X

Thanks SummerTilly for advise on the other thread will look now.


----------



## Smudgey

Sq9 I agree this is definitely the hardest bit ! 

WE HAVE SPOKEN TO OUR SW about LO and she will speak to LO SW on Monday as she is away until Monday . We think it could be too close :-/ but fate will do its stuff and if LO is meant for us then it will be . It's very hard tho xxxx


----------



## Smudgey

That's great news summer girl , how exciting !   xxxx


----------



## jka

Goodmorning All   

Smudgey - I know how hard it must be waiting for a response but don't worry, it's already Friday today! As you rightly said, if that child is meant for you, she will come to you for sure. So, hang in there...

SQ9 - we had to wait a week for the letter but it was only because the decision making authority was present during our panel meeting. Once the letter comes through, you will soon start receiving the profiles which for me wasn't easy as I felt like a child in a toy store as they were all lovely and I wanted them all... 

Paul - any more news?

SummerTilly - great news and 28th October isn't far off now. A month from tomorrow. Excited for you..    .....And thank you for starting the other threads on intros, gift for FC etc..really useful!

Summer girl - myself and DH were also thinking the same regarding intros, i.e, whether they could give us an idea in one of our meetings as that would help us plan. It's a 3 hour round trip for us. But we have been told that they would pay for our mileage for the travel, B&B near FC's home during the intros and some money towards a meal. 

For me, things are a bit quiet at the moment. I am keeping myself busy trying to de-clutter a bit at home. Basically, doing things which would be difficult to get to once our LO comes home. We will be getting the album/video ready and nursery furniture towards the beginning of November. I am also thinking of writing out the christmas cards by mid November as this will not be easy with a baby around and also, christmas cards won't be my priority then... . So, right now I am making a list of things to do and putting dates in my diary to complete these jobs. Hopefully, time will fly until then. 

Sorry, if I've missed anyone.. Take care.. xx


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Just a quick update to say no further updates from here.

We have a meeting with our SW on Wednesday to go through LO's CPR and pick out questions for her SWs on the 24th October.

We've got a few busy weekends coming up, dinner party tomorrow which DW is hosting; visit friend's and spread our news on Sunday with a bit of wallpaper stripping thrown in, and then next weekend it's my sister's 18th party (I was 15 when she was born!).

Then we are off to an exchange day to look at more LOs - so we can show our SW that we have made the right choice, and not fallen for the first one, which we suspect she thinks.

Hope everyone has a good weekend, and for those who are waiting, just try and keep busy with something else.  On that note our Ratification letter arrived 2 weeks after the panel, so don't worry too much.


----------



## SummerTilly

Good morning!

Wow - amazing progress on here 

JKA - love the ideas you've put on about writing Christmas cards and having a good old fashioned de-clutter.  Things I hadn't thought of and that I will now pop onto my "keeping busy until LO arrives" list  

Paul - congratulations that you'll be going through your little one's CPR -  I wonder whether it will be a bit emotional going to another activity day when you have your heart set on your little one?  I know that you are going to show your SW that you haven't just "settled" for the first one, but after all the delays and everything that you've been through, why do you have to prove anything to him/her?  Your instincts are telling you that this LO is right for you - perhaps by going to another activity day, you'll further cloud the issue and it may be that you are sending the message that you're 'not sure' about your little one instead of having the effect you want it to.  Just my thoughts anyway - I'm sure you know what the right thing for you and your DW is.

Smudgey & SQ9- the waiting is an interesting time (I think my postman started to think I fancied him, so eager was I to receive my ratification letter   )

Summergirl - how are things with you?  Intros are a 4 hour round trip for me and they've not given any indication of paying for mileage / B&B etc yet.  It's a hard topic to broach as you don't want to seem like you're 'in it for the money' but equally, there is a lot of expenditure coming up and every little helps   I wonder how to ask about it without seeming greedy?

Hope I've not missed anyone - how do you see previous posts whilst you're writing them?

Am going to post a new topic re a dilemma I'm facing following a call from my SW yesterday.  Would appreciate your advice - won't post it here to save duplication.

Best wishes all x


----------



## summer girl

Hi SummerTilly

I know what you mean by how to ask without sounding greedy, ours are going to be just over 3 hours round trip, I think our SW will ask or LOs social worker and I was going to broach the subject by say know during the HS you said that millage/accommodation can be paid for during introduction, when do you think the LA will tell us if they will pay or contribute towards our expenses? This way it will sound like we were listening and did take things in over all the hours of talking we did 😊

With regards to how you see the other posts whilst you're typing then I usually have two windows open on my pho nor tablet and on one I click print as you get the whole thread on the screen and it's much easier to read and then use the other screen to type my message 😄 I am thinking that once I have finished contributing to this thread I would print it out to PDF and then save it to show my LO when they're at an appropriate age to understand what we went through to get them 😄

Paul good luck with your dinner party tomorrow and I'm sure you'll have a fab time at your sisters party next week. When you say that you're going to an exchange day, is this the one where there are lots of LAs with details of the children that they have rather than the activity day where the children are actually there? I went to an exchange day last month before our meeting but after we knew we had the meeting set up and to be honest it was really hard to drum up any enthusiasm as we knew we'd found the perfect match for us. Does your SW have concerns about the LO you're considering as she souldnt really be pressuring you to consider others if this one is a good match for you?

JKA I also love the idea of writing Christmas cards and perhaps getting Christmas shopping done as we definitely will struggle with that when our LO comes home first week of Christmas! I have been deck uttering like crazy and have a car boot full of things to take to the charity shop. 

Hope everyone has a good weekend 😄


----------



## snapdragon

Summer Tilly I read your other post and I think you need to be very careful. My Lo's birth parents appealed the placement order resulting in a delay though they than withdrew it. Does your sw think they will get the order. I would have thought it would cause a delay especially if they are saying there is a change in circumstance. In regard to the baby I think there is too much risk they could go back to bm. Just my opinion.


----------



## SummerTilly

I've taken the other post down as recommended this being a public forum... 

Snapdragon - the guardian thinks that they will get the placement order, especially with an identified adopter (me) in place.  

Do you know how long contact with BM could potentially last?  There was an adopter on our prep course who went through the process and found it difficult, however, she got a positive result in that the LO was placed with her for adoption.

Lots to think about that's for sure...


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

The Exchange day is like a jobs fair where they have all the profiles up on display boards, the Activity day is the party we attended where we found our LO.

Our SW is a little strange, even though we have read our LO's CPR at least twice now she still hasn't visited us in person since our matching considerations meeting back in August.

All this linking has been done by phone/email, and so she believes we are going with this LO due to heart-strings pulling and all that crap from the Activity day, and not the logical decisive people we are who have read 3 CPRs and 4 profiles (all sent by email) and discussed which child best matches us.

If our SW wants us to go on the Activity day, then at least it's another chance for her to see our personalities, as we truly have only met her twice now in person!


----------



## summer girl

Hope the exchange day goes well Paul and you get to know your SW a bit better and she gets to know you also!

I have a question about whether people will think FC would be willing to give it sell things she has for LO, our LO is young 0-12 months and I wanted to be able to ask the FC is we could have the cot mattress as she wouldn't be able to use that for another child anyway and we then just get a frame, but that also got me thinking if seeing whether she may be willing to sell me other things such as pram, car seat particularly if she has only used them for our LO. Does anyone know if FCs get an allowance to buy things for each placement that they have? I know our FC has only had kne other placement before our LO so I'm hoping she will have bought the car seat etc for our LO as I believe the ages were different for her other placement. My rationale is that our LO will be comfortable with the items and they will smell familiar. What are others views on this?

Have a happy Sunday everyone 😄


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva

I think it's a great idea summer girl. I was under the impression that fc get settling grants for each child but I don't know that is fact. If so then it would seem to me that fc should give everything as it has been bought by the tax payers for that child and not for fc however that doesn't seem to happen so makes me doubt the grant thing. I would ask your SW they may raise it on your behalf x x


----------



## lynsbee

Hi
Well I have tried getting up to date with everything on here, I've only been away a week...have been to the Isle of Wight with DH and in laws!! NEVER again am I going away with the in laws!!!!!! 
Anyway I come back to find lots of FAB news on here!!!!  

So we received our official YES phone call while we were away took us by surprise as it was a day early! Then we got home yesterday afternoon to find our official YES letter which was dated 24th Sept! Not bad considering the meeting wasn't due to be until the 26th! So now I guess the real waiting begins. We have plenty to be getting on with in the mean time with sorting our house out...as in divide our room to make the 2nd bedroom lol....thankfully we have a local builder friend coming to do it and only charging what he pays for materials plus a couple of beers! We are only talking a temporary stud wall! Then just under 6wks time we are off on another holiday just me and DH off for some winter sunshine...our last abroad holiday for a good few years!


----------



## GERTIE179

Hi Summer girl,

Items are normally bought on a SS account with certain high street providers. Anything outwith the FC has to submit a claim which is then scrutinised as to need (ie if FC wanted a travel cot to go away family holiday rather than respite and that was debated but then approved). I think cots and mattresses have been given before (skyblu?). Otherwise SSs tend to use the cots again in FC or for disadvantaged/vulnerable persons.

You can certainly ask FC and if items will be reused then you can but same/similar. They tend to give you sheets/linens Los use. We ended up with same car seat through accident but I think that helped. 

Good luck x


----------



## summer girl

Thanks Gertie, that helps it's always good to know what others have experienced. DIYDiva I'll ask my SW later this week 😄


Well done lynsbee, hopefully you don't have too long to wait.


----------



## Macgyver

Summer girl, you will prob have a introduction meeting, this is a perfect time to ask the FC what items your lo will be coming with. Our FC was fantastic, she gave us him pram as he sleeps in it for his afternoon nap. They have also given us all his clothes, dummy's, toys, books, cot mobile, bedding etc.  we didn't ask for the cot or mattress as we wanted him to have a new one just in case.  But then you can get a list of everything you will still need to get. To be honest I had already brought a lot, and was worried that with FC bits I was going to duplicate, (keep your receipts) but surprisingly tonight after we got lo to bed I thought hell no night light. So I will have to pop out tomorrow. So don't be surprised if you still have to dash out lol


----------



## summer girl

Thanks Macgyver, our introductions meeting is strangely scheduled just before we meet LO, which I did query with our SW, but she's said that the planning meeting will be at 12 and well start the intros that afternoon. We're trying to get a meeting scheduled with FC for the morning of our meeting with the medical advisor, but we're still waiting for LOs social worker to let us know if this is possible. I'm going to chase tomorrow as our meeting is scheduled a week on Fri which won't give FC very much notice if she hasn't spoken to her already. 

Congratulations on becoming a mummy I expect you're having a whale of a time 😄


----------



## Smudgey

Hi all ! Been away with work so dog tired tonight ! 
Spoke to SW again and LO is not going to be a match , she's too local and they are very reluctant to change names we feel in that case we would be constantly watching our backs , such a shame as shes  a lovely LO , so back to the drawing doard .....:-//


----------



## Dreams do come true

Hi,

Just wanted to say congratulations on the new links 

Our children came with nothing, except 1 toy between them. The FC kept everything, bottles, dummies, clothes...both of our children settled straight away with new things, they didn't seem to miss anything.

Good luck o everyone waiting your perfect link will come along in no time x


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva

Really sorry Smudgley it's so hard when things don't work out. Really hope your LO is along soon xx x


----------



## SummerTilly

Hi all.  After a very positive information sharing meeting on Monday, I am heading towards intros on 30th of October.  

Summergirl - my intros are going to directly follow the planning meeting as well - perhaps because I live so far from FC.

LO's FC is absolutely lovely and said that she not to get anything until LO comes home, so will wait and see what she comes with before doing any (more) major shopping.

Great to hear everyone is progressing - things do seem to be gathering momentum on here! 

Smudgey - the right one will come along - I turned down a match initially because my gut instinct told me that it wasn't right for me and it's so important that you are doing the same.  One door closes and another one opens.

I have a busy few days coming up and am then going to try and get a few quieter days in before it's forever mummy time.  I played the dogs the sound of a toddler babbling away and their reaction was priceless!  The older one (they are all rescues) must have had experience with children before as his reaction was to wag his tail whilst simultaneously finding his toy and hiding it 

Am feeling a little overwhelmed about how much there is to buy (nappies etc) and do before placement....  

How is everyone else coping?


----------



## Sq9

Sorry to hear that smudgey - your lo will find you when they are ready  
Sounds great summertilly  
Hope everyone else is ok xx


----------



## summer girl

Smudgey sorry to hear your news, as you said the right one will come along, {{{{{big hugs}}}}} coming your way. 

Summer Tilly glad you've got your dates confirmed. Are you working at the moment if so when will you finish? You're right lots of nappies etc to buy

We're still waiting for confirmation of meeting with FC, our SW has spoken to LA today and they've confirmed it won't be next Fri, in fact she's reluctant to do before matching panel, she's new to the role so our SW has told her that this is too late and it needs to be soon so we can be prepared and buy furniture etc. we're desperate to find out what brands the FC uses, make of cot, pram ROTC so if we can we can purchase the same. SW agrees that's the best approach and is hoping to pursuance LA to rethink. Got good news from work today about my adoption pay and also my boss is restructuring our department but has assured me he has a role for me when I go back after my year off 😄


----------



## jka

Smudgey - I am sure you LO will come along. It won't be long..

Summer girl - Good news regarding your adoption pay. The support from your work means a lot when you are going through this process. Regarding meeting the foster carer, hope your SW is able to convince the LA.

Things are going ok at our end. Our SW has been really kind and gives us regular updates on the LO which is great.

Two more weeks until the meeting with the medical advisor and foster carer.

Hope the rest of you are keeping well and busy.


----------



## summer girl

Hi SW has had a change of heart so is after all going to attempt to arrange a meeting on the same day as our medical advisor meeting!  JKA you're lucky to be getting updates I think that as our LOs SW is new to the role she doesn't quite do all of these things, hopefully once we've had the meeting with the FC then we can liaise with her up updates, I have heard of others getting regular photos from their FCs so I'm really hoping ours will be like that 😄


----------



## Smudgey

Hi all , this thread seems to have slipped off the front page so I thought I would resurrect !! 
How is everyone doing . Any more news ? 
I am still waiting , our profile was going to a meeting today so I'm hoping to hear some news this week , this is defo the worst bit , as I'm so impatient lol !!


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

We still have another 16 days to wait before both LO's SWs return from their holidays.

So to fill our time and to show our SW that we hadn't jumped feet first with our LO, we went to an Exchange Day yesterday, it was a little disappointing for the hour's drive.  There were only 3 or 4 girls in our age range out of about 30 children.

Our SW had said she had booked us in for the 2.15 appointment slot and although she wasn't attending some other SWs from our agency would be looking out for us. 

Well going from the track record of our SW we should have guessed that she hadn't booked us in, and that the other agency SWs had no idea who we were and weren't expecting anyone!

That's what I call a nice security risk.


----------



## GERTIE179

Oh dear Pauliboo - that doesn't sound very good at all. Good on you both for persevering and at least no one can throw those comments at you. Good luck & hope the time passes quickly for you for the meeting with the child's SW ;-)


----------



## SummerTilly

Pauliboo

This is absolutely astounding on one hand and on the other, given your  SW's track record, completely predictable.  Are you planning to give your agency some full and frank feedback once your adoption order goes through?

Your experience seems like it's been a litany of disasters / excuses and unacceptable lack of communication throughout... 

Once again it affirms how lucky I am with my SW who has been brilliant. 

Chin up for meeting your daughter xx


----------



## SummerTilly

Smudgey - keep your chin up too - I know the waiting is the hardest bit.  The right one is coming along and there is a lot going on behind the scenes I'm sure. I said no to my first potential link due to age and was worried nothing else would happen and then a couple of weeks later, I had a meeting about my LO and her CPR in my hot little hand!

Looking forward to some news from you very soon


----------



## Sq9

That's really bad Paul but sounds like par for the course.
Our sw came out last week which was a very odd visit that didn't really explain anything, and no sign of any profiles.  We go away on holiday in just over 4 weeks and I'm hoping we get some progress when we come back.
Take car everyone


----------



## jka

Hello all

It's been quiet here and I guess we are all in the 'waiting' phase which for me is the hardest part of the process.

The adoption process has been brilliant so far but one of my honest feedbacks would be that the period from linking/matching to your child coming home should be a lot shorter. The wait is a killer when you know your child is out there and also, the LOs' develop so quickly when they are that young which you miss seeing because of all the paperwork and meetings. I am sure there must be some logic behind all this but when you are an adoptive parent waiting to just see your child and hold them close to you...no logic is good enough! 

We have now got a date for our intro planning meeting which has been set for the same day as our panel on 15th November.

Any idea what the matching panel is like and what they would ask. Also, have any of you thought about whether you would be willing to meet the birh parents and if so, how did it go?

Take care everyone and   to all you lovely people out there...

xx


----------



## dandlebean

Just out of interest, can anyone give me an idea of how long from approval panel to matching panel?

All being well (touch wood!) we're at approval panel in 2 weeks. Obviously it's coming up to late October and Christmas is 2 months away. I've heard the whole matching / intros process grinds to a halt over Xmas, is this right?


----------



## Sq9

Hello dandlean
As with everything it depends! We've been told they won't move after early dec so i would have thought unless you are matched within days of panel you won't have lo home before Christmas but if you get a quick match could go to panel before Christmas and intros early new year


----------



## summer girl

Hi all

I think we're all in the waiting game! I have to say that I think I've stressed myself out worrying about all that doesn't seem to be going right, our foster carer appointment looks like it isn't going to be until 29th October which is only 2 weeks before our panel date, really wanted it sooner so we can at least find out more about our LO, our building work still isn't finished and all DH and I seem to do is decorate, I really need life to get back to normal, there are lots of changes in work too which are really hard to get excited about as I know I won't be there in just over 6 weeks 😄. Feeling very emotional and tearful as I think I'm worrying too much 😢 anyone got any good advise? Sorry for me post, I'm normally such a positive person but don't know why I'm feeling like this. 

Hope everyone is having a better day xx


----------



## Ipswichbabe

Can I join your group, dh & I were approved in aug 13. Have just had meetings with little girls SW. Another couple due to be interviewed next week. And we are feeling in limbo land. We have already fallen for this little girl. They say don't get emotionally involved but how can u not, you have to have feelings  to be interested in the first place. So afraid the SW will chose other couple. Felt the meeting went well but after 12yrs of ttc and so many losses and bfn. I'm preparing for the worse. I already feel like crying. :-( 
Also we need to set up a DVD but have no idea what to do for it, any ideas appreciated. Help also on how to do it as only have iPhone/iPad then how do we get it onto disc?! Yikes!!! X x x


----------



## summer girl

Hi Ipswichbabe

Welcome to the board, you're in the right place 😄  I'm afraid I can't offer much advise on your waiting period, one of our friends we met on the prep course did have the same as you and they were syccessful😄 so wishing you lots of luck. 

We're off to see the medical advisor tomorrow so will update everyone afterwards. I hope everyone is well it's gone a bit quiet on here.


----------



## jka

Welcome onboard, Ipswich babe. I haven't been here that long but this group has been great and incredibly supportive. I know how difficult it is to not emotionally connect and I tried that too but in the end kept sneaking into the copy of our LO's CPR to have a look at her photo.  It's hard but the positive side to it is that you have only one week to wait. Keep yourself really busy until then. Not sure how to get the DVD sorted but it will be a good idea to have a go at it as it will keep you engaged...

Summer girl, an earlier meeting with the foster carer would have been great but don't worry, you still have time. I have put together a list of items to buy from various chat threads here. My plan is to have the meeting with the foster carer and then cross out what is not required. My DH is going to be away for work for about 10 days around November beginning. So, I am identifying things on the internet that we may be interested in and then when he is back, we will go shopping together. I am happy to share my baby shopping list if that would make it easier for you. Regarding the house work, would it be completed in another 10 days? You will still have time, don't worry. The best thing is that your LO will be coming to your lovely home and how lucky is he/she?!  

Dandle bean - yes, things do slow down during christmas period. The time between approval panel and matching panel totally depends on when you find your LO. Once you express an interest in a profile, your SW will request the CPR of the child. It can take upto a week for this to come through. At the same time your PAR is emailed to the child's SW. If they are interested in you, the child's SW and family finder arranges a home visit to your place to discuss the child's profile and you as a couple. After this meeting, you need to let them know whether you are still keen on pursuing the link and they will do the same. If you decide to do so, meetings are arranged with the key people in the child's life - foster carer, medical advisor, etc. Then a panel date is set and 10 days after the panel, you finally get to meet your LO in person! The introductions can last upto 10 days and then you bring your child home forever...  This process can take upto 3 months, it can be sooner but this has been our experience. We got our LO's profile in the beginning of September and we go to panel mid November and get to meet our LO in the last week of November, if all goes well.   

It sounds like a lot of time but once you find your match, you will get busy with the meetings, preparing your home and doing stuff which will keep you busy...

Hope the rest of you are having a good evening... xx


----------



## summer girl

Hi JKA, thanks for your offer of your baby list, that would be great, my sister has started to help me put one together but it always helps to compare with yours 😄 the scaffolders finally turned up today and the scaffold is at least all down from round the house, next challenge is that some if it is still in the back garden, hopefully they will come and collect tomorrow, also have just discovered now that the scaffolding isn't in the way that the new bathroom window doesn't open properly as the new sofix is slightly in the way! Hopefully it will all be done in the next 10 days. Am going to hopefully go and try and do some online research like you and that way hopefully when we have had the FC meeting we can go and buy all the things. Have a good night everyone xxx


----------



## shazkowalski

Hello,

I am very happy to be asking if I can join you? We got approved at panel on 30th September and are now eagerly awaiting a match!

shaz x


----------



## gettina

Congratulations Shaz  
Hope it's just  a short wait for you.
Afm - have booked a holiday to vietnam for next month to help the time go by. Hope it's our last one as two. I don't want to wait any more!! 
Good luck with all the exciting linking and matching progress everyone. I'm enjoying your progress. Just don't have much to contribute  

Gettina xx


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

We can't even book our holiday until after the 24th - it's actually quite annoying and every day it's getting more expensive, especially annoying as we are waiting for LO's SWs to come back from their holidays!

Let's hope the flights don't sell out before the meeting!


----------



## Miny Moo

Scrubbing and cleaning spree today, then going to take my boy away for the weekend to keep house clean and tidy and so hubby can get on in peace with few little jobs before SW and FF visit on Tuesday, hopefully this family of 3 will be a family of 4 in the near future.


----------



## Smudgey

Hi all and welcome to those recently approved  

We have no news really , it's been a month since approval now and I have to say I'm finding this bit hardest , I'm so impatient , feel like our life's are totally on hold :-/ ! 
We are going to an adoption 22 exchange day at beginning of November , so that should be interesting , although our SW said there won't be any young LOs but we will have to see xxxx


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva

If it's the one I have information about then the criteria to show kids is not single children under 3. However it may be a great networking activity to get your self out there and get your names in SW's minds. The waiting is the worst part Smudgly I agree I have dreaded this stage the whole way through and I was right to.     From one waiter to another x x


----------



## Smudgey

Thanks DIY diva , I even dreamt about a match last night where I met BMW etc ! 

Had a message from SW about a potential match , we have read the CPR , and feel uneasy about some half siblings that are still with family members ( on BFs side , BM still has supervised contact at weekend with two of them ) Not sure as yet if there will be contact with siblings for LO and I not sure I could cope with this ...anyone any experience of this ? I would feel happier if siblings were adopted ?


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva

Sw said that siblings with bf contact would only ever be letter box to us because of safety x


----------



## Smudgey

Thanks DIY diva , I've got a list of questions for SW today . 

How are you getting on ? Any potential links ? I'm struggling at the min I think , was so excited about the potential link when I heard from SW and now I feel deflated and sad , I don't get a gut feeling with this LO and keep thinking about the one that's too close . But then I feel guilty if I turn LO down


----------



## summer girl

Hi Smudgy

Don't feel guilty for turning LO down, there will be the right Paremts out there for this LO, if you don't feel right then you shouldn't feel guilty. We read approximately 4 or 5 CPRs before finding our match, and about 15ish profiles. I know how you feel about wanting to find you LO as quickly as poss, I felt exactly the same way and just before we found LO I was thinking that we're never going to find LO to meet our criteria and perhaps we should broaden it, but I'm so glad that I didn't as we have the perfect match now. It will happen for you, it must be hard when the link you were keen on has gone away, carry on thinking positive and get your house as much together as possible. You could also make lists of things you need to buy and start researching online where you might buy them from, I wished I'd done that bit before as I'm in a bit of a panic now with all that we've got to buy. Hope the advise helps 😄 

Our SW did warn us that it can go a little quiet now before the Xmas period but hopefully you can still continue to press your SW for potential profiles. Good luck to all those waiting. Xxx


----------



## Miny Moo

Well our SW called at the last minute to say FF had an emergency she needed to attention to with into's she was doing at moment so visit cancelled an not rescheduled for another 3 weeks, I know it can't be helped but so disappointed😞


----------



## -x-Lolly-x-

Hi smudgey   Little pink  has older siblings in different foster care placements and they still have supervised contact with birth mum monthly. It is undecided whether we will have letterbox with them or not as they have never met little pink and have their own issues to deal with at present, so it would complicate things at this stage. Sadly at the moment there are ongoing new difficulties within the birth family so contact as a whole is being looked at. We feel comfortable that an arrangement will be made that is best for all the children and we will stick with the recommendation made.


----------



## Sq9

Hello all,
Gosh, this waiting lark is difficult! We finally got our approval letter yesterday nearly 4 weeks after panel, but no sign of any profiles at all. SW should be contacting us soon just to catch up so will see if she keeps to that.  I know someone in our area (not same la) who asked to be put on the register at 7 weeks so we are wondering whether that is a route we should go down.  Will have to see if we can get any answers about this from sw when she contacts us as she was very sparse with info when she came about 10 days ago.  
At least we have holiday in 3 weeks to look forward to  
Take care everyone


----------



## gettina

Ah Minny a 3 week delay at this stage is big! So sorry.
Smudgy- wishing you the best with your decision.  I have no advice but but hope that if this lo is right, they will be able to help you to move on from the other one - maybe it will be more of a slow burn. But if you're not feeling something at some point you'd have to question it.
I have found reading about the situations you and others here are facing very instructive.
Good luck with the waiting sq9. 
My first CPR is being delivered tomorrow - not seen any info yet - and meeting with lo's sw scheduled for next week - my sw is confident isn't she??!! 
Eeeeek.
Gettina


----------



## Anjelissa

Gosh I'm totally confused where everyone is 'at' now after not being here for a while  

I just wanted to say hi   , congratulations to all those with links/matches, and lots of luck to those still waiting  

Anj x


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Sq9 said:


> Hello all,
> Gosh, this waiting lark is difficult! We finally got our approval letter yesterday nearly 4 weeks after panel, but no sign of any profiles at all. SW should be contacting us soon just to catch up so will see if she keeps to that. I know someone in our area (not same la) who asked to be put on the register at 7 weeks so we are wondering whether that is a route we should go down. Will have to see if we can get any answers about this from sw when she contacts us as she was very sparse with info when she came about 10 days ago.
> At least we have holiday in 3 weeks to look forward to
> Take care everyone


We asked to be put on the National Register straight away, but even then our SW messed up the application! At least you can call them and check if your profile has been sent out to SWs though (my DW did this).


----------



## lynsbee

Soooo, our SW came to see us yesterday for a catch up etc.....Sorting out if we wanted to be told when we were being considered for a LO etc in mind we could be considered along with other people. We then got on to the adoption activity day this Sunday which previously our SW and her manager had mentioned to us but we had heard no more about it.....turns out they don't particularly want us going hence why we received no more info on it.... as our SW has a meeting on Monday morning about us.....Yes 4wks after panel and we are being considered for a LO....I know it could still be a no on Monday but she basically said if this ones a no there are others we would be considered for pretty much straight away.......................


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva

Great news Lynseebee so pleased for you x x x


----------



## summer girl

That's great Lynseebee, good luck for Monday x


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Well, the day of the SW visit finally came, we had only waited 4+ weeks.

LO's SWs are lovely, this was the 2nd time we had met her family finder (the 1st being at the Activity Day) but her SW was really lovely too.

We were a bit disappointed with our SW, who needed to leave early as she had booked herself another appointment after only being with us less than 2hrs, knowing full well that these SW visits last 2-3hrs  

Anyway LO's SWs stuck around for a further 45mins, they loved the house, especially her bedroom, we watched her DVD and looked at some more pictures.

As they were leaving her Family finder asked for her photos back, DW pulled a sad face, and LO's SW said they could leave a few here  

They said that they will have a meeting tomorrow to discuss us and we'll probably find out their decision later tomorrow/Monday, of course we have to let them know if we want to carry on too.  

We have managed to bypass our SW as she is only working Weds & Thurs next week, and so it will put undue stress on us as she is only a part-timer.

Next up, if everything is approved,  will be a meeting with LO's FCs in 2 weeks (as it's half-term next week so they're all off on a mini-break).

Paul x


----------



## daisy0609

Hi guys 

Mind if I join? We were approved in march and decided that we had to have a holiday so we booked one after not hearing a peep from our social worker. So anyway we booked to go away and sods law we got an email while we were away telling us of a potential match with a 10 month old boy and we don't get any details until we see her on Tuesday  bit of a wait for us and is making the holiday kinda drag now which is a shame mind you it is chucking it with rain right now!!!!! Any help with questions would be good coz we have struck a blank.

Congrats to the rest that have matches love reading the good news 

X


----------



## GERTIE179

Daisy,

This link may help you form some questions. I would also question how many FCs LO has had ( incl respite, babysitters & contact with BF). If contact how far away and who took them, did DC stay in room or leave?

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=171965.0

Good luck


----------



## Sq9

Lots of good news going on at the moment.  Good luck to everyone waiting to hear about links.

We've heard nothing at all from sw - hubby phoned her yesterday to find out she is on holiday! I don't expect her to tell us her every move, but would have thought she would tell us that, particularly as it is around the time she said she would contact us.  So will see whether she rings back on Monday.  If we aren't being considered for any lo or there are none likely to be coming through in the next few months, we are going to ask to go on the register.  We go away in 2 weeks for a week in the sun so would be nice if we had some good news to come back to.

Take care everyone


----------



## shazkowalski

It's interesting the differences people experience with their SW our one has been fantastic although we are yet to hear anything about potential matches, but our SW has told us she will ring us early next week with an update on her family finding so whether that means a general update or she has someone in mind I really don't know!


Good luck everyone


Shaz x


----------



## -x-Lolly-x-

Hi Paul! Hi everyone!  

Wanted to come and wish Paul and his wife luck, although it all sounds very positive to me, especially as you got to keep some photos! Shame social worker couldn't stay, but our link meeting only lasted an hour and half so maybe she thought you would be all wrapped up. Anyway, sounds as if it was good whether she was there or not   Is the manager supporting while she is off next week? 

Keep us posted!


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Lucklily for us we have already been chatting to LO's SW via email without going through our SW, purely because we found our LO at the Activity Day, unconventional but its working well.

Anyway, our SW called last night to let us know what she felt, and she said it all sounded very positive, that we should have a think over the weekend and send her an email on Monday to let her know our decision - even though she doesn't work Mondays she will check her emails!

So I emailed LO's SWs a few hours ago and copied in our SW to let them know we wanted to proceed - why we would wait over the weekend when we've already waited a month for this meeting, I've no idea.

We knew beforehand if nothing major came out we would proceed, the meeting just made her a more perfect choice in our eyes.


LO's SW replied not too long ago and said YES!!!!!  

Just have to wait for FCs to return after half-term and we will meet them then, no rush at the moment as we are provisionally booked in for Matching Panel on December 17th with Intros to start mid to late January!

Love to you all x


----------



## SummerTilly

Paul

Many congratulations to you and your DW!  That is such wonderful news to round of Friday with. 

Now your planning can really begin in earnest - wishing you lots of happiness

SummerTilly


----------



## GERTIE179

Huge congrats to Pauliboo & Mrs Pauliboo x


----------



## -x-Lolly-x-

Brilliant Paul!! How wonderful, congratulations


----------



## Starmaker73

Fabulous news, Paul. Congratulations.


----------



## Macgyver

Congratulations Paul and wifie xxxxxx


----------



## Sq9

Congratulations Paul xx


----------



## Miny Moo

Fab news Paul.

Our visit has finally been rearranged for the 4th November, so fingers crossed it happens this time.


----------



## snapdragon

congrats Paul, similar timescales to us last year. We had matching panel Dec and intros Jan. Found it quite good having plenty of time to prepare but knowing it was all definite before 
Christmas.


----------



## Jules11

Paul,

So so so pleased for you and DW.  An amazing and well deserved result Mummy and Daddy.  A whole new family to celebrate the weekend.  Can't wait to hear all about you intros with your daughter.

Jules xxx


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Aaaah, thank you all for your wonderfully kind messages.  

We really are so happy that we will have our LO home in less than 3 months time, I've been sat looking at her pitcures all day and still can't believe its finally happening.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, we are off to Toys R' Us in the morning to check out what we can buy in the January sales  

Paul x


----------



## gettina

Hey 
Mega congrats Paul. I'm so thrilled for you and dw. You've been so proactive and purposeful.    A daughter   Have a fab window shopping session - yay!

A week on Monday Minny - not too far off...(sigh)

Sorry for the lack of comms Sq9 - hope you have an exciting development soon.

Fingers crossed it's specific Shaz!

Ooh exciting daisy. Don't wish your well deserved hol away though! Tuesday is nearly here, kind of. At this stage we focused our Qs a lot on the birth parents and the situation more than the child. I hope it's a positive meeting. Will be looking for an update.

So as those of you paying attention might be wondering it's good news from me too...just as we were starting to feel just a little unloved and that maybe we were in for quite a wait, we got a CPR last week and met with a relinquished 5 month baby boy's sw as well as ours yesterday and got ourselves linked there and then! 

The seriously scary bit is that with relinquished children the birth parents can reclaim them up to the point of the adoption order approximately 12 weeks into placement. How utterly devastating that would be. We are having to put tremendous faith in the social workers' confidence that is not on the cards. (pls don't think me heartless, there is of course a sad story behind this situation and we are thinking of birth mum a lot)

If all goes ok we should be bringing him home early jan - though our lovely sw is so keen to have him with us ASAP that she's trying to get us an earlier panel and is even talking to colleagues, FC etc about us doing intro's over Xmas and ny! She's said she'll work a little during her Xmas break if it means getting him to us faster. How amazing is that!!! Mind you it seems to me that a far easier way to speed things up would be to sack off either or even both matching panel and decision maker or at the v least for the decision make not take a further two weeks to rubber stamp mp decision   I can't see us having him home this year sadly but we are v excited either way.

But - when I saw the pic I felt....nothing. It's 'just' a pic of a baby. Am I allowed to say that? He looks nice enough. But I so wanted to feel a pull, an 'attraction'...something. I want to be giddy but I feel more numb, as well as excited too though weirdly. Anyone else? Feeling disappointed but it's no reason not to be linked.

Gettina xxxx


----------



## Flash123

Woohoooo mr & mrs pauliboo - fantastic news. well done for your get up and go and the proactive way you found your little one. you have one amazing story to tell her! you will be amazed how quickly those three months will fly by. Time to get shopping!!! Enjoy x

Gettina- omg - what a story! Amazing.when we saw the picture of our little man we already knew a large amount of detail and yes when I saw his picture I did have the butterfly's BUT ( and I know this is going to sound so shallow but I promise you I am not a shallow person) I was just so relieved he wasn't ugly! We were well and truly committed by that stage, our hearts were lost to this little man we had heard so much about, so the photo was such a relief. I think most babies do just look the same or similar. It is such a strange process to go through. After all the heartbreak of failed treatments I think you do become numb to certain things and feelings. How else could you survive? I know I couldn't have endured much more heartache so by the time we to to matching I was quite hardened. But our little man has changed all that. The feelings I felt during matching time and intros were nothing compared to the feeling I have now when I go into his room and he's standing in his cot with the daftest smile. That's what I think it's all about. Xxx


----------



## Sq9

Fabulous news gettina xx


----------



## summer girl

Congratulations Paul and DW, it's shows all your  perseverance was worth it  😄 hope you window shopping goes well today xx

Gettina amazing news for you too, I can sympathise about the photo, the one we saw at the linking meeting was truly awful, to the point that after LOs SW left our SW said "what a horrible photo, why did they even hotter to bring that out" thank fully the photo was a few month out of date and of very poor quality and we got 3 amazing photos the week after and that's what's really cemented the link for us 😄


----------



## lynsbee

some fab news on here again!!!

I haven't been on for a while. I think I posted the other week about finding out we were being considered for a LO and meeting was on Monday to see if they were going to proceed with us or not. Unfortunately due to major accidents on the main road to the SWs offices the meeting had to be rearranged and is now due to take place on Wednesday!! It really has felt like my tx 2ww all over again!

Anyway hope everyone is having a lovely weekend and will try to catch up properly soon xx


----------



## shazkowalski

Wow I can't believe all the fantastic news on here at the moment!!!

Congratulations guys!! Fantastic news all round xxx


----------



## oliver222

Lots of fantastic news everyone.
Nothing from me, that will be 6 weeks on Monday that approved and not heard anything from sw. I was told that would still keep in touch every few weeks but not a thing. Emailed sw few days ago but no reply so not sure if back at work or not (sw was not at panel as was off sick)


----------



## Miny Moo

Oliver22, same happened to us post approval, our SW did make it to panel but was extremely poorly bless her, she was then off for a good few weeks, we had another person in her office we were able to contact and keep in touch with, can you not find out if there is someone else you could deal with in the mean time.


----------



## Jacks girl

pauliboo said:


> Lucklily for us we have already been chatting to LO's SW via email without going through our SW, purely because we found our LO at the Activity Day, unconventional but its working well.
> 
> Anyway, our SW called last night to let us know what she felt, and she said it all sounded very positive, that we should have a think over the weekend and send her an email on Monday to let her know our decision - even though she doesn't work Mondays she will check her emails!
> 
> So I emailed LO's SWs a few hours ago and copied in our SW to let them know we wanted to proceed - why we would wait over the weekend when we've already waited a month for this meeting, I've no idea.
> 
> We knew beforehand if nothing major came out we would proceed, the meeting just made her a more perfect choice in our eyes.
> 
> LO's SW replied not too long ago and said YES!!!!!
> 
> Just have to wait for FCs to return after half-term and we will meet them then, no rush at the moment as we are provisionally booked in for Matching Panel on December 17th with Intros to start mid to late January!
> 
> Love to you all x


Pauliboo am delighted for you. Huge congrats


----------



## oliver222

Miny Moo said:


> Oliver22, same happened to us post approval, our SW did make it to panel but was extremely poorly bless her, she was then off for a good few weeks, we had another person in her office we were able to contact and keep in touch with, can you not find out if there is someone else you could deal with in the mean time.


Will maybe wait until next week in case he is simply on holiday or something and if hear nothing will phone.


----------



## shazkowalski

Hi all hope you had a good weekend.


Well our SW has updated us that basically there are three or four little ones that she is exploring for us- so we will await further update!


Paul has it sunk in yet? 


Shaz x


----------



## gettina

Thanks Flash and summer girl - here's hoping this link progresses and I start feeling nice things! I have put his photo on my phone so he can become familiar to me - that might be important?..

yay - Shaz - awesome news.

Hope you hear something soon Oliver - even if just to confirm you're on the radar!

gettina x


----------



## summer girl

Hi Gettina

I too have 3 photos on my phone and can't stop looking at them 😊 4 weeks today we will meet our LO for the first time 😄

Xx


----------



## daisy0609

So many good stories here. It's nice to hear good stuff knowing that it finally happens. Am so scared excited nervous etc for this afternoons meeting with the SW. Anyone else feel like this?hoping to maybe get a photo as well but not sure if we will or not.

Hope everyone's ok 

X


----------



## summer girl

Ah daisy, it's very natural to be nervous, afterwards though you can see how silly it was to be so nervous! We're off to see the foster carer and I must admit silly things like what if she doesn't like us pop into my head, which is ailly as why would she not like us! Good luck xx


----------



## daisy0609

Thanks summer girl good luck to you too ive decided  that nerves are good if you weren't nervous then I think it would feel wrong!
X


----------



## SummerTilly

Nervous?    

I'm meeting my LO on Thursday and my stomach has been doing the somersault olympics for the past two days.  Let's just say I've been grateful for my additional supplies of loo roll (sorry for TMI!)

It's so natural to be nervous and you're right - it means that you want it and are doing the right thing. 

Will she like me?  Will she take one look at me and run from the room screaming?  Will I be able to string two words together?  Oh and for goodness sake, what will I wear?  

Is it possible to mainline rescue remedy?

 

Exciting times for all xx


----------



## Flash123

Daisy and summer such exciting fantastic times. The 1st time we met our littleman Dh and I wore what we wore in our talking album and it def helped. He still recognises them when I'm doing the ironing or when he's playing in the wardrobe, he trundles off and gets his album. It's really quite sweet.

Not many more sleeps -woooohoooooo xxxx


----------



## gettina

Hope the meeting went well daisy x


----------



## daisy0609

Hi guys. The little one seems perfect he isn't developmentally delayed no health issues but I don't know if I was expecting to feel something when I read the Form E but I feel nothing. He doesn't have an adoption order so nothing is likely to happen till next year at the earliest but apparently the door is still open to the possibility of other children that come through but that doesn't feel quite right if you know what I mean. We have had numerous conversations over the course of last night and have emailed some questions to our SW for a little bit more info but I just don't know. Talk about a mixture of emotions!
Other than that it went well! Hope everyone is feeling good and things are progressing
X


----------



## lynsbee

Well it seems the meeting went well. Me and DH were the chosen family for the LO. So waiting on info from our SW about him and trying to arrange a meeting with LOs SW next week as we go away next Friday for a week!!


----------



## Sq9

Sounds very positive lynsbee.  Finger crossed this is your lo


----------



## summer girl

Daisy so pleased that your meeting was positive, looking forward to more news when you have some to share 😄

Lynsbee, that's great news, good luck with your meeting and enjoy your holiday xx

Wanted to wish SummerTilly all the luck in the world for your meeting with your LO, hopefully you're all tucked up in bed ready for a busy day tomorrow xxx


----------



## Smudgey

I think you need to take the time to think about LOs after you see their details , if LO isn't available till next year I would let fate take its course  

Good luck tomorrow summer. Xxxxxxxx


----------



## Miny Moo

Well that's it we can do no more, visit is finally over, got to wait until most likely Thursday for their disission, so we shall wait with baited breath😳


----------



## Smudgey

Good luck miny , got everything crossed for you xx 

We went to an exchange day today and found two profiles we are very keen on , one we have a really excited feeling about , but trying to keep a lid on it until we know more and see their CPRs xxxx


----------



## Miny Moo

We got a yes, matching panel December, intros January, very excited boy about to get a little sister, more concerned though about if she's going to get him a Christmas Present!!!


----------



## shazkowalski

Fantastic news!!!! Congratulations xx


----------



## Sq9

Fab news miny. It will be an amazing start to the new year


----------



## summer girl

That's great news Mini, bring on the new year for you. 

Smudgey great news on your potentials too, keep the news coming 😄


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Miny Moo said:


> We got a yes, matching panel December, intros January, very excited boy about to get a little sister, more concerned though about if she's going to get him a Christmas Present!!!


That's fantastic news Miny Moo, exactly the same timings as us


----------



## Wyxie

Wonderful news Miny Moo.


----------



## Smudgey

Yeay , fab news Miny !!! 

Our SW has sent our PAR to one of the LOs SW and she just waiting for an email back from the other LOs Sw , so the phone /email watching /checking every two mins has started again lol !


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi everyone  

I've completely lost track now  , but I can see from a quick glance that there's a lot of exciting news  
Congratulations to all those with recent matches   

It looks there are quite a few of us with lo's coming home in January too, lots of preparation going on all round!  

We are concentrating on planning a relatively quiet Christmas but with lots of fun things booked in to make this an extra special one for our little man, the last Christmas before he'll become a big brother  

Love to all,

Anj x


----------



## shazkowalski

Wow this is so positive on here at the moment fantastic news all round!!!


SW has found a possible LO for us- having read our PAR their SW feels "very positive" about us so we are seeing our SW on Monday to read the permanence report and take it from there! Trying so hard not to get excited!!!!!


Hope you are all having a lovely evening!


Shaz xx


----------



## oliver222

Fantastic news Minymoo
Good luck shaz


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

oliver222 said:


> Fantastic news Minymoo
> Good luck shaz


Any news from your end Oliver?


----------



## Sq9

Good luck Shaz.

No news from us other we are off on holiday on Saturday although hubby been ill today so hoping he can get an appointment at drs tomorrow to sort him out.

Take care


----------



## Smudgey

Good luck sham , sounds v promising , x


----------



## Smudgey

Shaz even , stupid iPhone lol x


----------



## Smudgey

Well we have some good news , the LOs SW has picked us as a potential match and is coming to see us Friday  morning   , apparently they had lots of enquiries about LO on the exchange day but they have picked us eek !
Trying not to get too excited !  We are on nursery finishing this weekend and general house tidy ;-))


----------



## summer girl

Wow Smudgey, that's great news, Friday will be here before you know it! Good luck with finishing the nursery and tidying. We're doing our DVD and Tomy Talking Album this weekend 😄

Sq9 hope hubby is better for your holiday. 

Shaz good luck with your meeting, do you know when it's going to be?

Hope everyone else is well xx


----------



## mrsballack

Hiya.  Bit of a latecomer but can I join you? We went to approval panel this week, which was terrifying until we got there but strangely not scary once we were in the room.  
We have seen a CPR for a sibling pair, one of each and are trying not to go insane waiting for further news. Apparently both our family finder and the children's social workers are happy with us, but we're trying not to get our hopes up.  
Any tips on staying sane??


----------



## Smudgey

Wine and gin helps lol ! Ps welcome !


----------



## shazkowalski

Evening all- we have today read the CPR of the little four month old and stated that we wanted to proceed, before we had even arrived home I had contact from the SW saying that the LOs SW felt positive about us and wanted to visit us to proceed- trying really hard not to be too excited!!!! We have got to wait until Thursday for the SWs to give us possible dates for visit.


How is everyone else doing?


Mrsballack- I second smudgey- definitely wine or beer here!!


Smudgey- not long now until your visit I bet you can't wait and battling the nerves, I can't wait to hear how you get on!


Love and hugs


Shaz x


----------



## flickJ

Shaz, that's fantastic - all the luck in the world, hun   It all sounds so positive


----------



## ma1978

Hi guys well we were approved at panel on the 6th November so the wait is now on for a match so excited. x x x


----------



## dandlebean

Congrats on approval ma1978 and good luck tomorrow Smudgey! 

We were meant to have a SW visit today about an LO we really thought was the one, but his SW cancelled at the last minute because they've found another family. I spent all morning cleaning and used the last of my annual leave too! 

We're so disappointed now and don't quite understand why they wouldn't want to meet all the possible families before reaching a decision   We only arranged the meeting yesterday and they'd made it sound so positive by saying they really wanted to meet us before LO's SW went on holiday...then they cancel just an hour before! We thought it was quite cruel really. 

Still, on a positive note, it's great that LO has found a family, even if it isn't to be us.


----------



## summer girl

Shaz thats great news hope Thirsday comes round quick for you 😄

MA congratulations on getting approved, hope you get a match soon. 

Dandlebean big hugs coming your way, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you, I don't understand how SWs work sometimes, it really doesn't make any sense they would arrange a meeting one day and then cancel an hour before, it's just so rude and really shouldn't be allowed to happen. As you say on a positive note at least the LO has found a family. I hope you find a good match soon, I'm sure that the right LO is there for you x


----------



## crazyroychick

Mind if I join you all? We got approved for 1 child 0-4 yesterday! Still hasn't sunk in yet xx


----------



## EveyBee

Hi Hope you don't mind if I join in?  Amazing to hear all your wonderful news, gives me and dh hope!  We are hopefully meeting the childs social worker and FF on Tuesday have no idea what to ask I am sure they will though!  Spending tomorrow tidying the house and cleaning on Monday!!

Dandlebean-I can't believe they cancelled and at the last minute-very cruel in such an emotional process.  Sending you a big hug.  x


----------



## dandlebean

Thanks Evey and Summer - and welcome Crazyroychick   

We're okay about it now - in many ways it was good to hear about it so soon, rather than to find out a few weeks down the line (though it was a bit of a shock at the time). 

Just waiting for our SW to send us some more profiles so we can start over again now! The hardest part is putting the previous LO out of our minds and just looking afresh, without comparing! 

Anyway, thank goodness for this forum! All the happy and positive stories give us plenty of hope. I'm sure we'll all have our LOs home with us soon  xxx


----------



## Miny Moo

We had weekly visits for the 1st 4 weeks, our SW and sons SW took it in turns as it was a long distance placement, then our sons SW visited approx 4 weekly until our AO. Our SW also visited during this time too.


----------



## -x-Lolly-x-

Just jumping in with a message for Eveybee to say our introductions were 8 days long. Our social worker phoned us about 5 times in that period and we saw both her and little pinks social worker at the review meeting half way through. Little pinks social worker visited 5 days post placement and ours the week after, then week 3 we had the first LAC Review and week 4 our social worker came again. She also rang sporadically during the first month to check we were ok. What did your husband originally say he would take leave wise? Mine said 3 weeks, it was put in our PAR and that's what he took. I don't think they can make you do anything, especially if you explained the situation and that looking forward you will be reliant on his income and so he needs to secure his job. Good luck


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Hi Ever,

As an adoptive-father-to-be, I need to let you know that your husband will use up his 2 weeks of statutory paternity leave  during the introductions period.  Paternity leave must start within 56 days of the first day of Intros but no earlier, and it must be taken all at once (either 1 or 2 weeks only).  It is paid at a rate of £136.78/week.

In our PAR I said I would also take 3 weeks off, 2 weeks paternity and 1 week leave.  I think I'm going to take an extra 1 weeks leave so it will be 4 weeks in total.

I would love to take more leave, or even unpaid "additional paternity leave" but as the main earner we just can't afford to.  

Paul x


----------



## Loopylou29

Paul

Unless paternity has changed recently I'm not sure thats right. My dh has taken paternity twice, once within the last couple of months. His statutory paternity could start at the earliest on the day of placement so it didn't cover introductions he had to use annual leave for intros. Paternity does have to be taken within 56 days of the day of placement.


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

Thanks Loopy,

That's what I had initially thought too, but the SWs have all said to me that's how it works.
Either way it's the same time off, so not too concerned which way round it goes.

Thanks x


----------



## dandlebean

Yay, glad to hear it went well Evey - though I'm sorry you're so tired and can't feel excited. I'm sure that will come though   

Did they tell you when they might let you know? I'd be so nervous waiting, but you sound relatively calm!  

Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you x


----------



## Smudgey

Well meeting with FCC went fab ! She really brought LO to life ! She brought loads of pics which she let us keep  
MP on 17/1 and meeting 24/1 then straight to intros ...this is it , we have found our little twinkle  
So excited ! 

Hope everyone else is ok xxxx


----------



## crazyroychick

Aw Smudgey that's amazing      xx

EveyBee have you heard anymore? Xx

Dandlebean how are you? Xx

Hello to everyone else x

Still nothing from our new SW after being told we would meet her before panel which was a week ago now, how long should I leave it before calling them? Xx


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

crazyroychick said:


> Still nothing from our new SW after being told we would meet her before panel which was a week ago now, how long should I leave it before calling them? Xx


CrazyRoyChick, You might have to wait up to 2 weeks for a ratification letter to come. After that it's all paperwork at your SW's end, and it might even be a few more weeks after your letter arrives before anything meaningful happens. That doesn't mean you can't start the ball rolling though.

We had a hell of a time, our SW went on holiday after panel (we only met her on panel day) but didn't tell us. We made a complaint to our agency after 5 weeks of radio silence and they have pushed our SW to keep in contact more.
I don't believe we would've seen any profiles if we hadn't gone to an Activity Day and forced her to do some work!
She even lied to us saying that our profile was on the National Register, but she hadn't filled in our details properly and so the application was rejected, it took a further fortnight for her to correct it.

Maybe wait until Monday then email/call your SW's manager and ask what the timescales are going to be?

Good luck, I hope it all goes well for you and you find your LO soon xx


----------



## DRocks

Been sent a lovely profile of a LO aged 6 months, all would seem perfect except BM is Schizophrenic. Is is bad that we find this off putting?


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva

No not at all bad you are comfortable with what you are comfortable with and anything that bothers you isn't bad it's how you feel.  I would advise researching the  hereditary or otherwise nature of schizophrenia if you feel like you really like this lo so you can make an informed decision.  If it makes lo a straight no for you that is fine too. You have to ffeel okay about the background stuff. Good luck not an easy one x x x


----------



## Sq9

Congratulations smudgey   

Disney - are you able to have a meeting with your authority's adoption medical officer? They will be able to give you the facts and figures about the likelihood of mother's condition affecting lo - our medical officer talked to us about it on our prep course.  I wouldn't like to quote figures because I can't remember exactly, but I remember being pleasantly surprised at how low the % was that child would be affected in terms of their mental health if mother is schizophrenic.  As diy says, don't feel bad at saying you have concerns about it.  I think most people would, but you should be able to access information before you make a decision as to whether this could be your lo.  

Not much going on for us.  We had a lovely holiday but no news from sw


----------



## lynsbee

Hey all!

Well we had a lovely week of away in Egypt it was FAB!!!!! 
So we got back Friday night and met LOs SWs on Monday!!! OMG it went really well....our SW commented to us afterwards how well it all went. We are meeting foster carers and medical advisor on the 18th Dec not at matching panel until 20th Jan then FINALLY meet LO and start intros 3rd Feb.....am sad it can't be done sooner but hey ho. I have been waiting 7 years to become a Mummy and now it's nearly here!!!


----------



## dandlebean

Yay Smudgey, that's awesome!  So exciting! 

Our SW still hasn't sent us anymore profiles to look at, but we are interested in one that she'd sent before everything fell through with the other LO. We've emailed to get some more info, but I'm finding all the waiting really hard - despite the fact our SW is actually pretty good at getting back to us. I'm weirdly impatient with all of this though and can't shake this restless feeling. I'm usually pretty patient, so this is alien to me! I've been spamming my poor SW with emails, talking non-stop about adoption to anyone who'll still listen - and all the while complaining about even the smallest delays or lack of replies to poor DH  Anyway, at least we have it easier than many. When I read some stories on here (such as Pauliboo's above), I wonder how on earth the poor people coped.

Disney, it's not bad at all. As Diva said, some people are comfortable with some things and others with other things. It's a good thing really, or we'd all want exactly the same children! We did do some research on this though and found out that people with a parent who has schizophrenia are only about 10% more likely to get it than anyone else. I also found the following info:



> Although there is a genetic risk for schizophrenia, it is not likely that genes alone are sufficient to cause the disorder. Interactions between genes and the environment are thought to be necessary for schizophrenia to develop. Many environmental factors have been suggested as risk factors, such as exposure to viruses or malnutrition in the womb, problems during birth, and psychosocial factors, like stressful environmental conditions.


Hope that helps a bit 

Crazyroychick, I'd have called, emailed and sent texts by now  But I'm not sure I'd recommend it. I think my SW's ignoring me now to teach me a lesson in patience! I'd take Paul's advice and give it until Monday then call to ask about the timescales.

Have you heard any more yet EveyBee? 

lynsbee, that's such good news!!! What a lovely thing to come home to and a great way to avoid the holiday blues! 3rd Feb does sound like a long way off, but as you say, compared to 7 years it's nothing. Time always goes faster than you think too - just plan lots of nice little treats to keep yourself sane x


----------



## shazkowalski

Wow so much happening on here!!!!


Paul I bet you are soooo excited waiting for your LO!!!


Disney- it's not bad at all you have to be completely happy with any LO and make sure it is right for all of you xx


Lynsbee that's fantastic news!! What a lovely end to your holiday! X


Smudgey so pleased for you! Xx


Dandle I am sure the right one will come along x




Well as for us LOs SW is visiting on 10th December then all being well SW matching meeting and us visiting FC will be 19th December!! Am praying sooooooooo hard that it goes to plan and they like us!!! Anyway SW has said that it all goes to plan panel would be very early feb so please cross your fingers for us!!!!


Lots of live


Shaz xxx


----------



## shazkowalski

Love even!!! Doh!


----------



## dandlebean

Yay, sounds like things are progressing nicely for you too Shaz   Best of luck on the 10th December! Hope it all goes really well xx


----------



## Sq9

Great news lynsbee


----------



## daisy0609

Hi everyone,
Hope your all ok! I'm having a rare day off at the mo and loving it! We have decided that the LO that we were given I for about isn't for us. He doesn't have a legal order and it doesn't look like anything is going to happen until feb at the earliest and even then we have a gut feeling that it's just going to rumble on and on. It's a shame and I don't half feel guilty sad and upset about it but I don't think that it's the right thing for us.  

Loving hearing everyone else's news makes me feel like the right LO is out there for all of us 

Xxx


----------



## EverHopefulmum

Hi everyone, can i join? I was approved on Monday.


SW phoned yesterday to say they might have a suitable match with a 7 month old blue but his SW is going on holiday for a couple of weeks so won't get any real info till they are back. Can't believe we got the call - still trying to come to terms with the fact we are approved!!!


Goodluck to all.
Everhopefulmum x


----------



## crazyroychick

That's amazing everhopeful, got everything crossed for you xx

Hello to everyone else not got time for personals tonight, decorating LOs room xx


----------



## Zargus

Hi  

Can I join this group?  DH and I were approved yesterday.  We are very excited and actually I'm a bit in shock.  I feel like I could wake up any minute and find this was just a dream and we are actually only just starting our home study lol.

Our SW told us that there are lots of LOs at the moment and in fact when they've been discussing children, she has had us in mind apparently.  It's all very exciting and scary at the same time.  We will be making a start on redecorating one of our spare rooms into a nursery as soon as we can. I can't believe we could be parents in a matter of months!

Right, off to have a read of all your stories.  Judging by the number of pages, I could be here sometime!


----------



## scooby-doo_123

Hi ladies,.
Sorry in advance for gatecrashing!!
I'm just getting my head around the whole adoption thing- confused!
Anyway I work with children and hubby is a police officer- ha has 3 grown up kids.
I went through hell as my ex husband wad infertile and turned out to be an animal.
I have no contact with him and would not want him to know if I adopt. I understand sw will ask for a reference from him?
How did anyone else in my position deal witn this. He has already proved his vile character by writing the most awful yhings on ******** about my miscarriages. 

Sorry for the me post i'm so worried xx
Ps congrats to you all on reaching this stage x


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva

As far as I'm aware unless they were incredibly violent and you can back that up they always go to ex husbands and wives.  Sorry. The only thing I can say is they are fully aware that exs tend to be that for a reason and that there is often a lot of bad feeling.  Talk to agencies and see what they say.  Good luck x x


----------



## Zargus

Hi Scooby-doo. How long have you been with your hubby? I've been with my DH for 10 years but had been in my previous relationship for over 12 years. We weren't married but we're engaged and we had no children. I haven't had any contact with him since we split up. Several times it was brought up that they might want to speak to him but I said I had no idea where he was or how to contact him which was a stretch of the truth but not far from it. They were happy with that. I don't know what the protocol is though for ex husbands. If you had children with him though they will definitely want to speak to him. 

Hope this helps and good luck with your journey.


----------



## scooby-doo_123

Thanks for your replies.
I was with ex husband 5 yrs no children- 4 ivf 2 miscarriages. I divorced him for unreasonable behaviour. We split up 2 years ago after I discovered he had a criminal record and was taking payday loans out etc. I have been with new hubby for 18 months, he has had a vasectomy. We have known each other for 8 years.
I could actually be physically sick if I thought they would contact him. I've closed that horrific chapter. But I have no way of conracting him or his family so hopefully that will sufice. 
Thanks lovelies. We've decided we'd love to adopt and that would actually stop me proceeding. Xxx


----------



## GERTIE179

Hi Eveybee,

It's in the resources area
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=171965.0
Good luck x


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Ta Da!  

ROUTINE
•  Is there an update on LO’s daily routine?
•  Can LO dress / undress herself?
•  What boundaries have been set – reward systems / time out / naughty step?

NURSERY
•  How has she settled at nursery, has she struggled?
•  More information needed regarding Nursery attendance – frequency and length?
•  How has she adapted to the routine of nursery and being away from Foster Carers?
•  Is there a Nursery report / key worker report? 

FOOD
•  Does she have any allergies – food, washing powder, etc?
•  What’s her favourite food? 
•  What’s her favourite meal?

SLEEP
•  What size bed does LO sleep in?
•  Has she had any problems sleeping recently?
•  Does LO nap, if so when and where?
•  Does she use a dummy?
•  What do they use to comfort themselves, e.g. blanket / dummy / rag / toy?
•  What is their sleep routine (time, stories, bath etc?)

BEHAVIOUR
•  How long do the tantrums last?
•  How do the Foster Carers handle the temper tantrums? –are there any techniques that they use to calm the situation? 

ACTIVITIES
•  Can and does she swim?
•  Can LO speak / read / write / draw?
•  What are her favourite indoor / outdoor games?
•  What are her hobbies and interests?
•  Where does she most like to go? (Farm, park, swimming etc)?
•  Does she like the zoo?  – Farmyard animals?
•  Have they been long distances in a car?

CLOTHING
•  Are there any clothes she dislikes wearing?
•  What is her clothing size?

TOYS / BOOKS, ETC
•  Does she have any favourite toys / books?
•  What children’s characters does she like at the moment?
•  Does she still like Waybuloo and In The Night Garden? - Any music / TV / film favourites?
•  Her profile mentions singing, her trike, dolls and puzzles, has any of this changed or been added to more recently?

POSSESSIONS
•  Is there anything that they really like that they won’t be bringing with them? 
•  What clothing / toys / bedding / books / CDs / DVDs / photos / documents / other possessions will they be bringing with them?
•  Who gave them which possessions, e.g. birth family, other FC, etc?  Which are significant or most precious and why?

FUTURE
•  Can we call you to ask more questions in the future?
•  Do you think that there will be a lot of problems when LO moves on?
•  Do they understand about adoption?
•  Do they understand about their past and future?  If so, how much have they been told?
•  Do they understand what has happened to birth mother and father?
•  Do you want to keep in contact?
•  When can we give them something of ours, item of clothing or a toy for them to get used to?


----------



## Miny Moo

Wow, Pauliboo, what a great list of questions.

Have to say on both occasions when we met FC we haven't gone with a prepared list of questions we have just generally talked about our children asked questions ad they arose and found with our son we learnt most of what we needed at intros which I am sure is what will happen with our daughter.


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

The list was originally 5 sides of A4, so that is the short version    

It was nice for us to have a list in front of us, plus it gave the 2hrs+ meeting some sort of schedule - the foster carers didn't mind.

The questions were more to do with what her personality is - a picture doesn't really show you that, and her DVD is just spectacular, the FCs hadn't even seen it before.

But it's useful to have some practical questions.  We originally asked Sws what size bed she was in, they said a toddler bed.  2 weeks later and we ask FCs the same question and find it's actually a normal Single bed.
- Useful to know just a few weeks before Christmas, we managed to order it and get it delivered in time.

Her favourite tv character is a good one - you can then tell your relatives, which gives them ideas for presents they want to buy.

Paul x


----------



## Zargus

DH and I were approved 2 weeks ago today.  Frustratingly, we've still not got our ratification letter, but the admin at our Authority is shockingly bad so I just assumed it is in their postal system somewhere or caught up in Christmas post.  That said I decided to contact our SW yesterday to mention it since we have a meeting with her today to discuss the next steps.  She replied to say not to worry the decision has been ratified so onwards and upwards.  Bit of a relief to say the least!

After our panel hearing our SW mentioned she had children in mind for us so I hope she will be coming armed with profiles and ready to talk about actual children for us.

I’m so excited I could burst.  Am clock watching until I can leave work to get home...  It's actually starting to feel real now


----------



## EveyBee

Thank you for all those questions!!!  Printing them off now!!!!


----------



## lynsbee

Sorry I haven't really stopped by lately. Hope everything is going well for everyone. 

So....today we are merting LOs foster carers. DH has a list of Q's but I feel they are more suited to after matching panel at the start of intro's. I would like to go in and be like, tell us all about him. Then for me or dh to take notes but let the conversation flow a bit more naturally.....I guess we will just have to wait and see. 
I wish panel was this side of xmas. But sadly its not until 20th Jan


----------



## Miny Moo

That's exactly what we did lynsbee, FC just talked about little lady as did the FC for our son and we just chipped in with any questions that arose from what they were telling us.

I remember when the SW and FF came to visit us about our son we had wrote a whole load od questions, they asked us if we wanted to ask our questions 1st or let the SW talk about him 1st, we xpchose the later and I remember sitting listening in whilst he answered all our question whilst talking about him, so just haven't bothered again.


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## EverHopefulmum

Lynbee - congrates on your news, moving along nicely - if not slower than you hoped.  We are in a similar position but made worse by holidays. During assessment our SW had a 5 week holiday came back for 3 days and then was off for another week but kept telling us "don't worry i have used all of my holiday allowance now so there will be no more delays"........then she announced she was leaving & we met new SW last night - guess what? Yes, she is off for christmas from Dec 20 and then has another week off in Jan. Even though all previous meetings talked about matching panel in Jan, she is now saying Feb - then she said introductions can't be over half term as FC has a biological daughter so intros wont start until March.....wtf!! nothing seems to be in the interest of the child.....just about their holidays


Everybee - goodluck with your meetings next week. We won't meet FC until Jan/Feb but i have already used Pauliboo's list, with some minor tweaking to prepare my questions......yes i know i'm impatient but was hoping the meeting would be sooner.


Vetty - we only got our ratification letter 2 weeks after panel. So i hope you have got yours now. I know the likelihood of them not ratifying is very low, but the delay just infuriates me. Ohh hope your meeting goes well today. Our SW told us on approval day she had "something in mind" - the next day she phoned to tell us about LO - 3 days later we met his SW......fingers crossed for you.


Crazyroychick - any news from new SW yet? You must have the patients of a saint....i'd be going stir crazy if i was you & driving poor DH round the bend.


Disneyrocks - this is a difficult one, if i was you i would want to investigate further before i committed or dismissed LO. Like others have suggested, perhaps a meeting or a phone call with medical adviser could help you decide either way. Just remember you can find out more with no commitment, this is a lifelong decision you have to feel comfortable with and any good SW would understand and support you through this.


scooby-doo i was previously married (no children) and new hubby wasn't married but lived with someone for 5 years (no children) and they wanted to talk to both. We had contact details for my ex, but didn't have information for hubbys ex - SW stated that we had to do everything possible/reasonable to help them find her or it could "reflect badly on us" at panel. In the end we got a friend of a friend to contact her via ******** & despite things ending badly she was fine. SS do understand that ex's are ex's for a reason and unless they said something outrageous about you and the safety of children then i think it's more of a tick in a box than anything else. I think the question they ask is "do you know of any reason they should not be allowed to adopt" They aren't interested in their perspective of the relationship or why it ended..Having said that, they will ask you in HS why you think it went wrong & what you have learnt from it.


To everyone else, hope you're all doing well & you're adoption journeys are going as smoothly as possible.


Afm, official selection meeting is next week. Despite our original SW and LO's SW saying it was just a formality, our new SW was a little bit more negative, maybe just trying to balance things out but put some doubt in my head, so fingers crossed it all goes to plan. I'm already in love with this little man and would dread to think of it being a no :-(


----------



## dandlebean

Awww Ever, I'm sorry to hear of the delays! That must be so frustrating  I'd be devastated if we had to have a new social worker at this stage.

Our poor social worker was away for a bit and has since come back and had an accident, so everything feels very slow for us too 

It's a shame there can't be a sort of back-up social worker at each agency, someone to keep things moving whilst the main social workers are on leave or off sick. I guess there's no easy way to do it though and I imagine it would cause a lot of mistakes and confusion for another social worker to take over on a temporary basis. Still, I can't help but feel, when I read all these stories, that there should be _something_ in place.


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

I can understand difficulties with a change of LO's SWs and the problems that would cause, but when you get a new SW after AP anyway, it seems odd that no one can step into the breach. 

It's shocking that they don't think of the children, our's has been delayed due to LO's best interests, and we are more than happy for that to happen, but when it's down to a lack of resource, then that's just terrible management/a poor system.


----------



## crazyroychick

Oh my so much to catch up on! Been so busy with work, Xmas shopping and decorating! X

Everhopeful,  sorry about all the delays, you would think we would be used to all the waiting by now xx

Vetty it took about 10 days for us to get ratification letter in x

Well we finally met our new SW today, she has just started with the team so adoption is totally new to her, seemed really nice and had really paid a lot of attention to our form F as she asked us lots of questions! No news for us though but she did say there are children ready to be matched and we were definitely in the running.  She will be in touch in the new year with hopefully more news xx

Hello to everyone else, hope you all have a lovely Xmas and here's to 2014 the year we all finally get to become parents xx


----------



## EverHopefulmum

Hey everyone,


Just got a call to say the selection meeting has happened and we are "officially selected"......yeah, very excited, grinning from ear to ear. Now desperately want to find out a MP date, just hope we get some idea before christmas holidays.


----------



## crazyroychick

Everhopeful that's amazing, so pleased for you      xx


----------



## crazyroychick

Sorry just noticed your news too Paul, massive congrats your intros start on my birthday x oh love the new name too x


----------



## dandlebean

Is anyone here still waiting for a match? It's lovely to read everyone's good news but makes us a little worried that we're the only ones left still waiting.


----------



## crazyroychick

We are still waiting too with no news whatsoever xx

Hope are LOs will be coming home to us soon xx


----------



## Sq9

We are still waiting - approved in sept and no news yet.  SW hoping to have some news for us this month so fingers and toes crossed please


----------



## shazkowalski

Hi guys

Hope you all had a fab Christmas!

Well the home visit went very well and we are going to matching panel 3rd feb with intros planned from 19th- still trying not to get too excited!!

Paul- not long now!!

Does anyone else have specific dates yet?

Shaz xx


----------



## dandlebean

Congrats Shaz!  That's great news  

Fingers crossed for everyone still waiting. I hope you get some news really soon CRC and Sq9 x


----------



## Zargus

Happy new year everyone.  We’re still waiting for a match dandlebean.  We were only approved at the end of November (although that is actually 6 weeks ago I guess) and I know we’ve had Christmas in between but I feel nothing has moved on.  We have seen some CPRs but today I have been told that the one child we were really interested in has another family who are very keen to proceed and they will almost certainly be matched apparently which is obviously good for him but frustrating for DH and I, especially since all the way through home study we were told there are loads of kids out there.  I thought we’d be trawling through loads of profiles, but we have seen about 3 that fit our matching considerations and in fact 2 of those have been matched or will be matched.  I actually feel we are being pushed towards one child in particular who apparently our SW had in mind for us going through home study.  I know her job is family finding for the child, but I am actually not sure how I really feel about this child.  I thought I would read a profile and have a “light bulb” moment and know he or she would complete my family.  I have not had this yet and I actually feel like I need to consider more children to make sure we are making the right choice.  At the same time I don’t want my SW to think we are being too picky.  Someone please tell me this is a normal reaction and I am not completely insane!!

Incidentally DH likes the child our SW has put forward and is happy to proceed but only if I am.  

I now understand why everyone says getting to and through panel is the easy part!  

On the plus side hubby and I spent the festive break painting the nursery and having new carpet laid in preparation for a little person.  We have also actually bought a toddler bed and have chosen some other bedroom furniture which we plan to buy this week as we want to spread the expense a bit.  I hope I am not tempting fate.

Congrats to all new parents and parents to be too - some lovely news and gives me faith that everything will work out eventually and that it will all be worth it in the end


----------



## Miny Moo

Vetty can honestly say that I never had a light bulb moment with either of our 2, with our son there was just something about him that drew us to him. With our daughter to be she just met our criteria and there was no reason not to enquire about her, now she just seems so right for our family.


----------



## Zargus

Miny Moo I felt like that about one of the other children that had already been matched.  Was just drawn to him.  I think that's why I feel so unsure about the one our SW is suggesting we go for.  He fits our criteria but something is holding me back.  I just don't know what!  We are meeting with SW next week to have a chat.


----------



## Miny Moo

Betty, with our daughter we went through CWW and picked out the ones that met our criteria then decided wether to enquire or not, with her the more info we have got, the more involved with her we have got if that's the right way to put it. With our son even though I was drawn towards him there was always a little niggle, but I knew that was because he was a single child and I had always wanted siblings.


----------



## dandlebean

I think I know exactly what you mean Vetty! I'm so afraid of seeming picky, but there was also a boy we really, really liked, who was matched to another family, and I've not had the same reaction to any children since him - though there are children that would otherwise seem a good match. Because he seemed so perfect, I find myself comparing and unable to get that same feeling about any of the profiles we've seen since. I think that the 'holding back' you mentioned may be because we've both been disappointed and we're afraid to get excited again? Or it may really be that this child isn't the right match for you? I'm unsure how much to trust my feelings on this and how much to just consider it all logically. 

It's so difficult when it's such a huge decision. I think it gets harder as time goes on too; I worry that I'll rush in to a match because I'm so desperate for something to happen, which has probably only made me overly cautious.  

Also, DH and I can't seem to agree, which really doesn't help! Separately, we've probably found 20 odd potential matches, but there have only been 3 that we've both liked and had further info on (none of which have worked out). 

Our SW has been brilliant and has sent us lots of profiles, without trying to influence us at all, but none have appealed at all since the disappointment with the little boy. Before that, we'd expressed interest in loads and loads of kids, but I think they must all have been matched, as we never heard back about any of them. 

It's so helpful to hear that you didn't get a 'lightbulb' moment though Miny Moo! I think I do need to focus less on the elusive 'feeling' and just go with my brain.


----------



## crazyroychick

Hello everyone, can I just ask are we the only ones to have seen no profiles whatsoever? Our SW has told us absolutely nothing at all in the 2 months since panel except there are kids waiting to be placed! We saw a wee boy on be my parent and she totally put us off saying they want us to take a child from this area! We eventually thought stuff it and enquired but were too late, bit gutted as we have been checking out be my parent for a while and he was the only one to really jump out at us all the other kids seem lovely but there was just something about him, I was instantly in love! Sorry for the rant just getting really frustrated xx


----------



## dandlebean

We've seen lots of profiles CRC - to me it sounds odd that you haven't seen any at all! I think I'd go mad with the waiting if I didn't have the profiles to distract me. I think all agencies work differently though. It seems that some SWs wait to find what they feel is the perfect match for their adopters and then they'll visit you with that one child (or children). I suppose it's good in a way, as you have nothing to compare to and there's less disappointments along the way. Our LA was saying that they did things that way on the info evening we attended way back before we applied. 

In the end, we went with a VA and they get children referred to them by LAs and will then just send us profiles that they think we might be interested in. I guess there are benefits to both methods. It can be really hard saying no to a profile and a lot of what we get sent doesn't even really match our criteria (but then we have asked to see almost everything, as we don't want to rule anything out). A lot of the children that get referred are already placed by the time we hear of them and enquire too  

We also look on BmP and click the enquiry button for any that interest us, but we've never heard anything back about any of them (except once we had an email to say thanks for the interest, but they'd found another family). I've often wondered if that's our SW deciding they aren't right for us and not passing info on, or the LO's SWs just not having the time to contact everyone that enquires.  

Does your SW contact you often to keep you updated? If not, I'd start pestering them a bit, so you're at the forefront of their minds whenever they're considering children for placement


----------



## Sq9

We haven't seen any profiles at all CRC, and we won't until sw finds one she thinks is right for us and is pretty much ready to proceed.  Each area seems to do things differently but that is how it is done in our area and although the waiting has been very hard, I'm glad because I don't think I could cope with seeing as many profiles as some have.  I mentioned to our sw that some people on here have had so many profiles and she was horrified - she said it is the sw job to go through the profiles and just bring you the one that is right and if people are being given lots of profiles, really you are doing the SW's job by screening out the ones that don't fit.  Just another part of planet adoption that is done differently from area to area.  I would want to take every child we see a profile for if we were shown more than 1  .  I do worry about whether SW will get it right, but that is her job, and she does get us so we have to trust she will get it right.  That being said, if it doesn't feel right, we just say no, but hopefully the one she brings us will be the right one  .  We were approved mid sept and have seen SW 3 times since then - last time was just before christmas and she has said she will be in touch this month as there are children with final hearings in our age range.


----------



## crazyroychick

Thanks ladies x

Sq9 our area works the same as you but we have only seen SW once in 2 months since panel, our SW went off long term sick (which was planned) and we got a brand new SW to child services, just feel a bit abandoned to be honest.  They knew for 3 months before our SW went off that we would need a new one but made no effort to arrange for her to meet us! We had to eventually call her almost a month after panel, she came out for half an hour and now this is the person who is representing us and she only knows us by reading a bit of paper! Bit worried I suppose about get selecting a child who is right for us when we don't even feel that we can speak to her, feels like we are way back to the start after the great relationship we had built with our old SW x


----------



## Sq9

This part is so hard CRC.  Although SW been out 3 times, we've had to instigate it each time and have been told, "was just about to get in touch with you" - of course she was!! It is so hard to put your trust in someone you've built up a good relationship with so can only imagine how hard it is for you to start with a new SW at this stage.  Is your old SW off long term or is she likely to be back soon? It might be worth contacting your new worker again and asking her to come out for a chat and tell her  how you are feeling. I think SW sometimes forget that because they are working away, looking at profiles etc, they forget we don't know about any of that, so don't think to keep in touch as often as we'd like. Just an email or phone call to say how are you doing, haven't forgotten about you but am working away on profiles would go a long way.  I hope you hear from SW very soon.  As awful as this part is, hopefully it will soon disappear from our memories once we are matched and lo is home


----------



## AoC

Yes, it has to be right for you and there are so many different approaches.  I know of one couple who had been messed about so much that when SW found a link, she didn't tell them or show it to them until it had gone to matching panel.    We preferred to be actively involved in finding a match (I don't agree with the SW saying that's her job - her job is to come up with the approach that best suits the adoptive parents, IMO  ).  We saw 4 - 6 profiles (I don't remember how many exactly, because as soon as we saw Bug There Was Only One!) before approval panel then went to a linking fair thing after panel, too, and saw half a dozen or so then.  But by then it was a bit of a 'keeping our options open' exercise because There Was Only One.    Our SW didn't want us to leap at the first one we saw, but she was fighting a lost cause because....

...yeah, you guessed it.  There Was Only One.

And he was ours.


----------



## crazyroychick

Sorry for me post but just been linked to a 2yr old wee boy, SW coming to see us Monday, so excited        x


----------



## GERTIE179

Excellent news crazyroychick - fingers crossed he's the one ;-)


----------



## Sq9

Fab news CRC


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva

Brilliant news cc x


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## Diane71

Crazyroychick 

Congratulations I sent u a pm 

When did u start the process ??

D x


----------



## Zargus

Congrats Crazyroychick.  Got everything crossed for you x


----------



## daisy0609

Fab news crazyrockchick just posted on another thread but looks like we are at the same stage we have been matched to an 18 month old pink xx


----------



## Lizard39

Hello All  

We are recently approved and now waiting for a match. It's only been a week and I'm already going slightly   checking my emails several times an hour!  So difficult to motivate myself to work too  

CRC & daisy - very exciting being linked/matched to your LO. Did you see many profiles/read many CPR's before reading your LO's?


----------



## daisy0609

Lizard we had one before this LO and there was a different feeling for both if that makes sense but we had a bit of a wait we were approved in March 13 but didn't hear anything until dec 13 for both xx


----------



## dandlebean

Awesome news CRC and Daisy! So happy for you! Keeping everything crossed that Monday goes well for you, CRC, and it leads to a match     

We've also just been matched to a sibling group, blue and pink, aged 2 and 1. We thought the SW visit went terribly, but guess not. We couldn't be happier!


----------



## daisy0609

Congrats dandlebean looks like 2014 has started off fab for us all xx


----------



## dandlebean

Thanks Daisy!   I was almost starting to think it would never happen - but isn't it funny how things work out? If we hadn't have had all the previous disappointments and this wait, then we wouldn't have been linked/matched to these LOs. And they are more than we could have wished for!    Just praying everything goes to plan now


----------



## daisy0609

I know what you mean. All that time waiting and it's like it's kinda fallen into place at last, which is good I'm not as excited as everyone else I think that's maybe just me though xx


----------



## oliver222

Nice to hear about some matches. Hope all goes well.
We have heard nothing since approval in Sept and not seen one profile. Had heard nothing from sw in months and eventually after emailing and enquiring about going on register we were contacted to say sw was coming out to visit. Came out in December and basically said that no point in going on register as only really hard to place children with major issues and that was reviewing our file weekly but no new kids in system for months ( We are a large la that have a large volume kids in care system). That would be children becoming available for adoption in new year. We have had no contact since. 
I am so fed up. I don't expect Sw to be phoning me every day but I don't think it is unreasonable to expect even an email once a month just saying no news yet but we are working hard to find a match. Just so we don't feel forgotten. It would take a couple of minutes. 
On a positive note my great nephew who is 3 had saw a picture of a toddler dressed up as a tomato and said can you get one like that, so our future child is always called the tomato baby. His mum texted yesterday to say that he has been saying all week the tomato baby is coming next week. Here's hoping he is psychic and can see a match on the horizon.


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

I'm feeling so sorry for you Oliver, you need to kick your SW up her/his **** and ask to see a manager/make a complaint.  The first thing we did after not hearing from our SW for 5 weeks was to go straight on to the register (both locally and the national one).  We the signed up for the next available Activity Day (Adoption Party).

You need to take control of your future and push for things to happen, it's absolutely disgraceful how your SW is treating you.

AND your SW is wrong, there is nothing wrong with our LO and she was on that list, and at that party!

Wishing you luck, 

Paul.


----------



## Miny Moo

Oliver, I agree with Daddyboo, get on and do it yourself, our SW was off sick after we were approved for a good couple of months, we got CWW and BMP, we contact SW ourselves, In fact have done most of if ourselves this time, our SW wasn't to keen as it's an out of syndicate placement, but we just ploughed on really at the end of the day our daughter to be I'd going to be in our family not hers, making our SW sound bad, she's not, she's great really she has been our SW both times.

Good luck and do take things into your own hands don't wait for them.


----------



## dandlebean

Wow, Oliver, I really feel for you! I would have gone crazy after one month, let alone almost 4! After the elation of approval, I can't imagine how awful it must be to feel like nothing's happening at all. 

After we were approved, our SW sent us profiles within a week. We're with a VA though, so they get referrals, which she would just forward straight to us. We'd said from day one that we would want to be making our own decision and would prefer to see all the profiles and make up our own minds, rather than have her selectively send them. If ever she didn't contact us for over a fortnight, I'd email her (not intentionally pestering, I'd just get really impatient and couldn't help myself  ). 

We also signed up to BMP immediately after approval and asked about activity days, which ultimately led to us going on an exchange day (which is like a jobs fair but with children's profiles - bit weird, but very useful to get ideas and chat to the SWs).  Our SW had also warned us off BMP, but we found several children that we really liked on there! And if you do sign up and look at the LOs on BmP, at least you feel as though you're doing something and it will give you plenty to think about. 

Like Paul said, I'd start prodding your SW too - call or email at least once a week so you're always at the forefront of his/her mind when they're discussing links and matches and stuff.


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva

Oliver so sorry that's rubbish.  I would add that some SW's aren't keen on the national register because of distance time and expense.  Being on can't hurt you don't have to choose a match from there just because you're on there.  However you definately won't find a match from the nr if you aren't on it so it seems strange to me.  Also maybe ask how you are being advertised and showcased because obviously if you aren't being advertised children's sw can't find you x


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## Sq9

Oliver.  We are in a similar position - approved sept, a few visits from sw since then but no profiles and a reluctance to for us to go on the register.  SW said just before christmas there were children with fh in jan who we should be considered for but no news yet.  She's coming out next week but she said no news just a catch up.  It is so, so hard. I do think you need to contact your sw.  With the exception of the visit next week, we have had to instigate all our visits since panel.   You hear some good news very soon


----------



## mummy2blossom

Hi everyone, I just wondered if I can join u on here. Hubby & I were approved in dec and are currently awaiting a match. I'm feeling so torn though as I thought we had made our mind up for a sibling pair but we have recently seen a gorgeous profile who practically fits our wishes but it's a singleton. We have spoken in length and think we want to hang on a bit longer for 2 as we've not really been waiting long, I just can't stop thinking about this Lo and what if we never find our pair then we've turned down a good profile.  Am going little bit   keep thinking about it

Hubby does seem a little more certain we should wait, am I just jumping in because this is a profile we could actually do something about? (Others we viewed were b4 approval so think if told myself we couldn't have them anyway)


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## summer girl

Hi Trinajc

I wanted to share a little about our journey, like you we also wanted more than one child, we were approved for up to 3 but in reality wanted two. We also didn't find any suitable siblings so looked at single profiles as well, and I'm so glad we did. We have friends from the training we did that have 2 and it's such hard work, you think before you become parents that you can handle it, but I don't think anything can prepare you for how exhausting it is looking after a child. We're quite early into placement so can't really say whether we'd do it again or not. I'd perhaps find out more about the child perhaps meet up with the social worker and you can then make an informed decision. I'd have to say I was adamant that I wanted siblings but don't at all feel that I've made the wrong decision. 

Hope this helps.

Summer Girl x


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## Miny Moo

We to were approved for up to 3, then just after approval we got info about our son, we kept on looking at sibling profile but some how he had just got under our skin, he has now been our son for the last 4 years and I like summer girl am so glad we only took on one as it had been the hardest thing we have ever done, that being said we meet our new daughter in just over 2 weeks, so we did go through the process again.


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## Macgyver

Hi tranjc


Like miny moo and summer girl have said before. We were approved for a sibling group. We looked for two for the first two months but nothing jumped out at us until that was we saw our son. He was a singleton. But we knew deep down he was the child for us. We still want a large family but I am so glad we only had one child. I love my son with all my heart but he is so much hard work. I know if we had gone with two that I would not have coped as well as I have with just him. I have spoken with our sw about another child in the future and this is not an issue. But at this moment in time I am just so grateful to have the one to one time with our son.
And I will never regret the fact we didn't go for siblings straight off.


Good luck with whatever decision you decide. Xx


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## Sq9

SW came out to see us today - none of the children coming through this month are suitable for us either because of medical issues, or because of very violent birth family who live too close to us.  SW though has given us a total curve ball and asked whether we would consider fostering to adopt as our LA are now starting to do it. Our heads are completely battered as it is a very attractive option but with a massive downside and risk if birth parents change their minds.  She said they would only consider it in cases where they are as certain as they can be that birth parents agree, no other options and child will have no major issues i.e. no major alcohol or drug issues.  It is something we had briefly talked about at the very start, but because our LA didn't do it and we really wanted to go with them, we thought nothing more about it.  We are totally confused now! SW said there are children coming through and we have talked about the register and she is going to have a look and see what children are available in the search area we have identified. So, going to be a long weekend of discussions for us....with lots of wine me thinks!! Hope everyone else is ok


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Gosh what a lot to consider Sq9 these things take time I think.  Lots of talking is needed and you can't rush it.  Good luck thinking it all through. I know happy penguin was looking at foster to adopt but she hasn't been around for a while x x x


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## scooby-doo_123

Sq9- good luck with your decision- that really is a difficult one. I'm not sure I could attach emitionallt fully (just in case) but everyone is different.x


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## GERTIE179

I think happy penguin now has a LO placed. SQ9 - good luck going through this decision making process.
X


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## Sq9

We've decided we are't going to consider fostering to adopt - too much uncertainty and scope for things to go wrong.  We've told our sw and I think she is quite relieved to be honest as she is quite wary of doing it.  She's putting us on the register so hopefully we will get a link soon. Hurry up lo, we can't wait to meet you


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## dandlebean

We found our link through the register   Or rather, they found us. I hope you have really good news and really soon SQ!


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## crazyroychick

Hello how is everyone? Not been on for a bit just so stressed out with our new SW she is just not interested in us at all, since panel in November we have only seen one profile which she felt was perfect child for us but in our matching criteria we had specified certain things we were uncomfortable with (we only said no to 3 things from extensive list) but LO she came to us about fitted with criteria we said no to! Felt like worst person in the world for saying no and still do :-( .  Asked about register and she has never mentioned it again!  She has now gone off on hols for a month and we have no idea if anyone else working on our behalf during this time!  Xx

Sq9 I really hope you get your match soon xx

Dandlebean, how are things with you? Xx

DIY Diva any news for you? Xx

Hello to anyone I have missed xx


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## daisy0609

Crazyrockchick can you not get in touch with the team and see of anyone is working for you?seems a bit awful that she's away on holiday but not left any contact details of anyone else. 
SQ9 don't think I could of dome it either seems like a major emotional pull.

Hope everyone else is ok

Xx


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## sass30

Hi everyone, my DW and myself were approved on the 24th Jan 2014. We are joining the waiting train. Have many of you been waiting long? its only been a week and not even had our letter through to say yes and im already clock watching at work. Oh dear i can tell im going to be very impatient haha.


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## dandlebean

Welcome to the waiting thread Sass  We were approved in October, so we haven't been waiting all that long, but it feels like forever! We were exactly the same as you, checking our emails and phones every hour initially  As time passed and after a couple of disappointments, we started trying to do a few more 'fun' things. We'd pretty much put our lives on hold as we didn't want to hinder any potential matches, but gradually our focus shifted and we were able to take our minds off things somewhat. We have now been linked and it seems to be a perfect match. Just praying that it all works out and goes smoothly from here on out.  Matching panel is set for mid-March. It's hard not to get too excited though and, if anything, I feel even more impatient now! 

Ugh, poor you CRC! You really shouldn't be feeling bad at all. Really, really, really! We had to say no to lots of profiles and I know it's hard, but there are so many factors to consider and you definitely shouldn't be beating yourself up - especially as in your case it's because your SW hadn't taken the time to get to know you and thus brought you an unsuitable link. I have to admit, your patience astounds me. I don't think I'd be coping as well as you seem to be, in similar circumstances. 

I second Daisy's suggestion; call or email and perhaps explain your concerns to the SW manager. Anyone with half a heart will completely understand why you're frustrated and a decent manager will pass on any feedback to your SW in a way that won't impact negatively on you. I think you're perfectly entitled to expect someone to be working on your case if your SW's off for a whole month and calling to find out who it could be is a good excuse to air your views and concerns with someone else there. 

I really hope something happens for you incredibly soon!   xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Hi all, 

CC  we had  a SW leave and another one start which basically put our search on hold for 5 weeks. However frustrating as it was I do get it and it couldn't be helped. However we really like new SW and are really happy for her. There are some things going on in the background for us but we won't know the outcome for 2 to 3 weeks so I'm not really saying anything yet as I don't want to jinx it. Saying no is really hard we have said no to over 15 profiles so far. Are there any exchange days in your area? There a good way to get a look at a lot of Lo's and prehaps show interest in a number. 

Really hope all those waiting have good news soon, it is really hard


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## Zargus

Hi everyone

I am not impressed with our SW either.  After approval in November, we were sent just 4 profiles that were potential matches, one of which our SW seemed to be pushing us towards, however we were very interested in one of the other children.  SW sent us his CPR, we registered our interest only to be told that he had another family interested and they would likely be matched because they were able to take on his medical issues.  We knew there were some issues and had asked about them but were not told anything so I felt that we were being ‘blackballed’ and we weren’t able to be included in the matching meeting.  Anyway after another meeting with SW we decided to go forward with the LO that SW was pushing us towards, only to be told a couple of days before the matching meeting not to get our hopes up there was another family interested.  SW had told us to write a para on why we felt LO was the right match for us, so we did.  I received phone call on Friday to say we were unsuccessful and the other family were chosen to proceed because they wrote quite a bit more than us.  When I questioned the fact she had only asked for a para, she said that was all she was asked to ask us!  She has supposedly been a SW for 25 years, so I was a bit miffed at her apparent lack of knowledge about what we needed to do.  It is so frustrating all this waiting.  But lesson learned we will write as much as we feel we need to!

In the meantime she had put the idea of fostering to adopt in our heads and said she would get us more info.  So far nothing, although I don’t think we would go for this anyway.  She told me we can now go to the Consortium to find a child and assured us there are loads of children out there but I just don’t feel she is interested at all so I know exactly how you feel Crazyroychick.

DH and I have subscribed to Be My Parent and we have now found a child on there who we are very interested in and sent an enquiry, so fingers crossed.  Does anyone know if our SW will need to get involved or do we just deal with the child’s SW?


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## Miny Moo

Hi Vetty, this part if then journey can be very flustrating and it can often feel like our SW are not doing much when very often they are working in our behalves we just do not see it. As for you enquiry about a Child on BMP, they will need to contact your SW and very often will instead of you, 1st time round I got very dispondant about SW not even acknowledging our enquires when it would turn out that on the whole they mostly contacted our SW not us, we only realised after a conversation with our SW that this what was happening.

Hang in there your LO is out there somewhere.


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## Loopylou29

Vetty

We spent 9months after approval waiting to be matched. In that time we only saw one profile other than our sons. It wasn't the sw fault it was just the way it was due to either our matching criteria or there being more suitable adopters.
When our LA approach adopters about a potential match they only approach one family. The matching meeting has already taken place and potential adopters identified. Those adopters are approached and given the opportunity to read cpr and ask questions before making a decision. If they say no to the match the LA go to the next suitable adopters and so on. We didn't realise at first this was how our LA worked and it felt like no one was doing anything.  However it is easier in someway for the adopters as there is none of the emotion involved waiting for the matching meeting as you ddon't know it has happened. Our LA can only do this for in house matches though and if we'd adopted from elsewhere I've no doubt the process would be different. 
We got little response from BMP and CWW as often the sw are inundated with enquiries. Our lo came from an in house match and it is the right match for him and us. It will happen for you and theright match will be there somewhere but I can understand your frustration.


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## mummy to little pea

Hi all, my dh and i have just recently been approved, we have had a link already but fell through, now just waiting for other profiles to come through, this is so tough waiting, feel like i am constantly phone and email watching haha, how does everyone pass the time in their waiting period ?


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## Macgyver

Hi stbm 


We waited a couple of months for our link, in this time I got his room ready, painted walls, brought furniture, rug etc. I did it neutral so it didn't matter if we got a boy or girl. I also started visiting baby shops making lists of products we would need and costs so as soon as lo was confirmed at mp I could go on a spending spree.


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## mummy2blossom

Hi stbm,

We are waiting and I thought I was doing well but am getting paranoid that nothing will happen & we'll never get a match (only been 2 months!).  We were allocated a new SW after approval and although she's lovely and I'm sure works hard she is driving me   at not responding to emails!  We have expressed interest in 2 separate profiles but not heard anything else (1st one was nearly 3 weeks ago), I'm desperate for things to move forward and worry she will delay things if one of the profiles are for us

Anyway sorry for the me rant!

I've been planning and making so many lists, we've chosen our pram (not bought it tho), been buying neutral things (towels, blankets, bibs etc) Bought some neutral and wide age ranged toys & storage & room is ready just needs furniture & curtains!
I've also used the time to do further reading on parenting adopted children and having a massive clear out to create space for all the additional things we'll have!

I do have a question for everyone though, when should we look at buying the big furniture?  I was thinking wait until we are matched but am worried in-case we have to prepare photos and won't have enough time.  We were approved for up to 2 so not sure if we'll need bunk cots/2 cotbeds?

good luck to everyone waiting hoping matches are found soon


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## Flash123

Hiya trinajc, I hope you find our dream come true soon, i cant imagine how tough the waiting must be. You usually have a few months (from peoples experience on here i would about 3) between being linked and attending mp. You have to have time to meet FC, medical advisors and possibly teachers etc (depending on age) so I really wouldn't worry. They usually ask you to prepared photos and things for matching panel because they wont introduce you to a little ones before you are officailly matched. i know everyone is different but once I knew specifically about little man I loved buying things just for him. 
Hope you have news soon x


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## dandlebean

Hi Trin   

We too expressed interest in loads of profiles, particularly in the early days when our SW was sending us loads. We're with a voluntary organisation, so if we wanted more info, she'd have to go back to the relevant LA. I think in-house links/matches can be a lot quicker. 

We enquired about 20 LOs in total, including a few from BmP. More often than not, we heard nothing back - and because we needed to feel like we were doing something, we kept enquiring about more and more  Like you, we were concerned that we could miss out because of the delays and initially assumed it was our SW not pursuing or relaying our interest that was causing these delays. When we asked her about it, she explained that mostly she wasn't hearing anything back from the LOs' SWs. On the few occasions that she had received a reply, it was only to say that they were already pursuing another link.  

We once went on an exchange day and an LO we'd expressed interest in (about a month prior to this) was featured there. Once we got chatting to his SW, it turned out they'd had our profile and PAR for about 3 weeks. I don't know why they hadn't been in touch, but they did email our SW a few weeks after the event, to ask if we were still interested - almost 2 months after they'd received our PAR! I think they must just be very, very busy and that many LAs will only link with one family at a time (which is nice, as it's horrible knowing you're up against several other families).  

With our current link, we had to wait ages before we heard anything. Eventually, it all started moving (relatively quickly). LO's SW came to see us and then told us a few days later that we were their chosen family. When they emailed our SW to tell her why they'd chosen us, one of the reasons they gave was that we'd remained committed to LO for so long. So perhaps they do it to test us? Who knows  

Anyway, what I'm trying to say (in a very long-winded way) is, don't panic  I know how hard this waiting part is, but I don't think the lack of news or updates is cause for concern. People will be working behind the scenes. It's frustrating not knowing what's going on, but things will start happening more visibly soon, I hope!


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## Sq9

Hi trin.  We've bought pushchair (approved for up to 18 months but sw looking at up to 12 months) as it was in the sale just before christmas and too good a price not to get it (we've done a lot of research and testing in the shop and the one we got felt right) and cotbed, again because it was in the sale.  Buying things has helped me to keep sane(ish) as we have been waiting a very long 5 months.  The way our la works means we don't see any profiles until our sw is pretty sure she has found our lo.  I've found the last few weeks very hard as our sw was expecting to be able to have news for us last month, but the children with final hearings weren't suitable for us.  Fingers crossed we all hear good news very soon


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## mummy2blossom

Thank you all very much for your replies

Wow sq9   to you for being so patient!  
I'm just struggling with our SW not even acknowledging my emails (even if she wrote to say she's still waiting to hear back) but instead there's nothing which leaves my mind to wander  
We were spoilt with our original SW as she was a workaholic and emailed/text/rang any time day or night and weekends so we need to realise new one is different.  It's strange because at weekends I switch off and get excited & happy then 9-5 Mon to Fri I panic and phone watch!
Any way I think I'm going to start talking hubby into furniture shopping soon which will be one less thing to worry about

Good luck everyone & thanks for letting me off load


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## Echo

Hey I'm new and shall be joining you, loved reading where people are up to so far. We are working towards a panel date of 21st May which is painfully far off yet!


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Hi Trinajc,

It sounds like we share the same post-approval social worker!

All I can say is we took things into our own hands after getting sick and tired with the lack of response - especially as she doesn't have an 'out of office' email which means you never quite know if she's at work or not.

We have ended up biting our tongues as hopefully she'll be out of our lives for good soon.

Paul x


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## mummy2blossom

She does sound exactly the same as urs daddyboo-ours doesn't seem to have an out of office either 

Can I ask how you took matters into ur own hands? I've been reluctant to contact the SW & family finder on their profiles as don't want to go over our SW or give us a bad name/seem impatient! 

Thanks xx


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## tigerbabe

Hi all I'm really glad to have found this thread as hate waiting and am an impatient person at the best of times so this is really testing me it seen getting to DH now! We
Were approved December and have been given 3 profiles the first two completely opposite to what we are looking for which after second profile shown our sw admitted she hadn't even read our PAR form!! The latest baby profile shown to us was just outside our age limit but we thought we would find out more so our sw and the child sw came round our home to give more info and look round house the boy although adorable we just didn't feel right he wasn't the one we knew. The child sw was also very off putting and making rude remarks about our home and us like we weren't the family she wanted so we talked with our sw and said we did not want to proceed.
It's agonising the wait and have no idea how to pass the time  hve set up the nursery already and am now twiddling thumbs am glad to have found this site though !!


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## mummy to little pea

Hi all,

approved end of last year and joining the waiting list, getting impatient already and it's only been a few months since ap.  Nice to meet everyone and spreading a little fairy dust to us all in need of it xxx  and hugs to you also xxx


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## shazkowalski

Hi all!!

Just thought I would let you know that not only were we matched at the beginning of the month- but I now have an absolutely gorgeous eight month old little boy asleep upstairs! Can't believe it!!!


Hope everyone is doing well!!

Shaz xx


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## flickJ

Congratulations, how wonderful for you     

I hope everything goes well for you and I am so happy you have found your special LO


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## pyjamas

We are also getting a bit impatient as we were approved in July 2013! We have looked at a couple of profiles but they were out of our preferred age range so did not feel right. We are going to a evening at Children's services next week to see DVDs of children waiting and we are also going to an Adoption Activity Day at the end of March. Also looked at Be My Parent website last night x


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## pyjamas

Just wondering what the exchange events are all about? We have not heard about them x


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## GERTIE179

Similar idea to the activity day but no kids there just SWs. & FCs and profiles/DVDs of the children looking in their area. I think the Register organises these.
Worth asking your SW too ;-)


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## GERTIE179

This thread may help
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=314223.msg5632125#msg5632125


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## Zargus

Quick update from me.  We have moved forward in the process.  We met with a little boy's social worker last week and things were very positive following that.  Today we met with his foster carer.  We are feeling really positive about it all and I am allowing myself to get a little bit excited for the first time since we were approved last November.  We've got a provisional panel date in April and all being well introductions could be in May.

The foster carer showed us some videos and gave us a few pictures.  I don't know whether it is bad luck to put them up in our living room though...

I am not sure how I am going to get through the next few weeks without losing my mind wishing the days away!!


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## GERTIE179

Congrats vetty

I just carried the pics in my bag and looked at them lots :-D


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## dandlebean

Yay, that's great news Vetty!


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## crazyroychick

Great news Vetty xx

Hello to everyone else xx


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## mummy to little pea

thats fab news vetty, congrats and hope it will be a big fat yes at panel for you.  I cant wait to be in your position, i seem to have hit a complete stop with my sw'er but hey ho once that little link comes this will certainly be a distant memory.

Hi to everyone else and hope your all having smooth journeys and getting plenty of profiles to link you with your little ones, heres   mine comes soon x


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## mummy2blossom

Many congratulations vetty, here's hoping ur waiting flys by


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## pyjamas

we went to a 'Families for Children' event yesterday evening where the Children's Services manager shows DVDs of children waiting for a match. We had already been to two of these before and not found a child for us but last night we were interested in a pair of sisters and also a little boy. My husband is contacting our SW today to say we would like to find out more about these. x


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## mummy2blossom

Good luck pyjamas, hope you get the information soon and that it's a positive outcome


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## pyjamas

Both profiles we liked ending up being unsuitable due to location of birth parents. Back to the drawing board with heavy heart x


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## DRocks

Well I finally get to join you all on here


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## Lizard39

Oh bless Disney   hope you won't be waiting too long for a match!


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## crazyroychick

Hey everyone, not posted for ages, how is everyone getting on? Xx

Still waiting for us, 4.5 months after panel, getting really impatient now    xx


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## Sq9

We're still waiting too - just over 6 months for us and really feels like it is never going to happen at the minute.  We are on the register but that doesn't seem to have made a difference.  We were invited to DVD profiling event but sw said she thinks it will be a waste if time as unlikely to be any children in our age range so feeling pretty fed up.   fingers crossed we all get matched soon


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## pyjamas

Still waiting too! Adoption Activity day tomorrow so at least we will be doing something even if all the children are older than we want. Feeling like its never going to happen x


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