# New Here



## enfys gwyntog (Mar 8, 2005)

Hello I'm new to this site I have been reading postings for a while but have only just worked out how to actually post myself.  
It is good to read about others in the same situation. We have an wonderful three year old daughter Casi conceived naturally - I just assumed that it would be as easy next time around - but two years done the line and still no baby I know that is no where near as long as some people, but everyone around me - friends I have made from mother and toddler groups have conceived and had their babies  and we are still trying  
I keep thinking that this is some kind of bad dream and that I will just get pregnant and it will all go away ... am I living in cloud cuckoo - if you have had one baby naturally can you suddenly become infertile - does anybody know?
Anyway after 2 mnths of clomid I am on 2ww after 1st attempt at IUI 
I am hoping that as the body has done it once it will remember what to do.
Is it possible that as I am so desperate for another littleone the stress is stopping it happen as everyone keeps telling me??

So many questions Its my first post so I will stop rambling
good luck to us all
Enfys xx


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## nixie (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi - welcome to site.  I'm new here too - have posted a few times but not on this board yet.  

I have a lovely 6 year old son but have now been trying for no.2 for nearly 3 years and like you conceived very easily last time.  My friends have all gone on to have second child - some are now on 3rd, and every month i get bfn!! It does get very stressful and depressing but i think this site is great as here people understand how that feels.  

It seems that you haven't been clear diagnosis of why you haven't conceived - again like me and lots of us on here - its probably 'unexplained'.  At least that means there is nothing obviously physically wrong and it can happen - but i think its also important not to blame yourself re. stress levels - infertility is incredibly stressful and lots of people have those stories about how they know someone who went through treatment etc, eventually gave up or started process of adoption etc and then fell pg naturally.........but most people who tell you that sort of stuff haven't experienced infertility and don't know what it really feels like, so i think they should just stop giving advice and just listen !! 

Having said that i am trying to manage my own stress with it all and try to look after myself with diet, relaxation, counselling etc but i don't necessarily think that i'm not pg because i'm too stressed - for me, probably more to do with age - will be 40 in July! and possibly have endo although no diagnosis as yet and tubes are clear anyway. I am waiting for next Af so i can start iui next cycle - this time will be stimulated so i'm hoping that it will be more successful - still also hoping that by some unbelievable miracle i have conceived naturally already and won't need to do it all....

Good luck with the iui - the 2ww can be really hard so look after yourself and i hope you get a bfp this time.  Take care,

nixie x


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## REC (Jun 16, 2004)

Hi Ladies...
Hope your stay on SI won't be too long & you both get the babies you both long for...


Love

Roz xx


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## Cree (Oct 3, 2004)

HI

I have a 6year old daughter like you both, conceived naturally with no problems. I'm on my last cycle of Clomid  Although I have responded well (as in always produced follicles, on one occasion too many resulting in cancelled cycle) still can't seem to conceive.

Enfys Gwyntog - Windy rainbow? Take it your welsh then  I'm from north wales  and attend Chester IF clinic.

Well, good luck to you both - this ttc lark really sucks at times! 

Cree


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## Cree (Oct 3, 2004)

Hi Gwen 

Nice to hear from you too! Don't post a lot lately I'm afraid - too many wild emotions!

Hope you are well?


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## RSMUM (Sep 3, 2003)

Hello - hope you don't mind me butting in - just wanted to welcome you to the sf thread - there are a lovely bunch of women here and everyone is very supportive.

Cree, not sure where you are- but I'm in North Wales too and a few of us have got together - we've got a web site - have a look and see what you think.

www.sharedjourney.org.uk 

Good luck to you all 

Deb ( Rsmum )


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## Cree (Oct 3, 2004)

Gwen - know what you mean about not enough hours in the day! My partner has me playing project eden on the ps2 at the moment. Before you know it its 1.30 am!!! Not good when you have to get the little one to school in the morning 

Deb - thanks for the link to the web site - it really does help to feel you are not alone in all of this. I'm actually in Mold, Flintshire. Where do you guys meet up? Will post on your website and make introductions soon!


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## RSMUM (Sep 3, 2003)

Hey! Hope we can be of help coping with those wild emotions! 

We are based around Bangor/Conwy area but Caron has met up with someone who posts on the sf site a few times who lives in Manchester who might be coming up as a "special  visiting member" in her summer hols! 

Loved what you wrote about your DD in the mini-me section,so  sweet.

Gwen and " rainbow lady"  - how are you both holding up?Hang in there and take care,

Deb x


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## enfys gwyntog (Mar 8, 2005)

Hi all 

thanks for your messages   

Nixie you are so right about not blaming yourself about the stress - it is not helpful to add guilt to everything else that we are dealing with!! good luck I know what you mean about hoping for a natural miracle 
Yes Cree Enfys Gwyntog does mean windy rainbow - a joke name while I was at college (!) when I was trying to log in all other names I put in were all taken - my real name is Sian and I live in south wales Cardiff - a bit to far away to join the support group although your website is great  

got 4 days left of the 2ww    

heres praying for a   and not a very expensive period!!

good wishes to all

Sian xx


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## Cree (Oct 3, 2004)

Sian

Went to university near Cardiff - univ of Glamorgan in Pontypridd! Spent many a night in the Joint Students Union in Cardiff - ah, the good old days!

Debs - the wild emotions have been tamed somewhat! Well, for now, anyway


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## jude s (Jun 22, 2005)

hi there I'm new to ff. its really great to know that other people are in the same situation as me. i have 4 year old son conceived easily and naturally. started trying for no.2 about 2 years ago. just as was about to go to specialist got pregnant again but was twins - one in uterus one ectopic. had surgery for ectopic and lost other. have been told other fallopian tube occluded so is now IVF. Awful time trying to accept whats happened but you have to keep going for the sake of the child you already have! Does anyone else feel guilty and saddened about not giving a sibling to their child? this must be one of the hardest things to accept. would be great to hear from anyone. are there any groups out there near Bath/wiltshire?

good luck to you all
jude s


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## Cree (Oct 3, 2004)

Hi Jude

Welcome to the  site!

Know exactly what you mean about feeling guilty about not being able to provide a sibling. Kiera is 6 now and is desperate for a brother or sister and can't understand how all her friends at schoolhave baby or older siblings. 

Hang in there and tell yourself -one day it WILL be me


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## jude s (Jun 22, 2005)

hi Cree

I have spent the day yesterday with my cousin who was an only child. She was honest about being desperate for a sibling when she was really young but says close friends and cousins filled the gap and she remembers being really happy as a child. so much so is considering stopping at one herself. Its hard to keep positive sometimes though especially when your child goes around telling random children he'd like them to be his brother or sister!

take care and be positive
Jude


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## Cree (Oct 3, 2004)

Hi Jude

Just wanted to say thanks for your last post - its nice to hear a perspective from someone who was an only child. It doesn't kill the guilty feelings completely but it certainly helps to know htat she was very happy as a child. At least our kids know how much we love them and how grateful we are to have them


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## M&#039;s mummy (Jun 20, 2005)

Hi Ladies

I am new here too. I have been peeking into ff on and off now and thought it was about time I introduce myself. I am nearly 41 and have a gorgeous daughter who will be 4 in Nov.My DH is 10yrs younger than me.Our daughter was conceived naturally and of course has become even more precious as time and situations have gone on. 
I am a not very good with the lingo on here, still trying to fathom some of it out so please excuse me writing in longggggg lingo ! 
I have been told that one of my fallopian tubes is occluded. My FSH level on day 3 was 11.2, I have one failed IVF from Australia when I lived there last year, I have a history of endometreosis ( even though I don't suffer pain since 1999). I have been trying for bubs #2 for nearly 2yrs plus my age..!!!!They won't do another laproscopy (last one in 1999) or any further investigations. So all in all they have given me a possible 5% chance of falling pregnant. They of course have offered to treat me for IVF privately as they feel this really is my only option. However they have agreed to put me on the waiting list for IUI even though with one occluded tube it may be a failure from day one !!I feel that the consultant really had no hope for me. I didn't want to be given false hope but I didn't want to feel like I was "useless" either. I came away feeling heartbroken.

To be honest I really don't want to and cannot afford an IVF treatment.I look at my daughter and think how lucky I am to have her as I know so many couples don't even have one.!!I feel like I am at a crossroads.What now...!!carry on as normal trying and possibly look down the path of adoption. !!

Anyway its still very early in the morning..  need another cuppa I hope my lingo will improve over the forthcoming months..!!any offers out there?


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## jude s (Jun 22, 2005)

hi m's mummy.

wouldn't it be dream-like if we could go ahead and have another baby just like everyone else seems to do so easily. I am facing IVF for the first time. have appointmant this wed. Thankgoodness I have my gorgeous 4 year old son to keep me sane. I bet you love your daughter so much you might explode! The thing is my dh and I are not the only one's who will have to accept this situation our little lad keeps asking when he'll get a brother or sister. It takes all our effort to keep the emotional outpouring under control infront of him. I don't want his life swamped with it too at the age of 4.
I am going to be really positive about all of this and also realistic too. We could and probably will give adoption some thought. Its so complicated though isn't it when you're taking on another child and risking your existing child's world. how long to you go on trying assisted conception etc etc. 
isn't it nice to meet other people like yourself who feel our pain too.
good luck M's mummy and keep having fun with your little girl.

jude x
ps. long hand easier for me I don't get all abreviations yet!!


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## enfys gwyntog (Mar 8, 2005)

Hi all

I was speaking to some friends the other day who have second children they very rarely talk about how it is it have more than one child in front of me but it was interesting to hear how guilty they sometimes feel that they are not able to give their first or second child the attention they would like that they sometimes feel that they miss things because they cannot focus on one or the other at least I feel that I really do appreciate every milestone ( although sometimes they make me sad as I do not know if I will ever have the privilege of sharing that particular stage with another child) My child asks for a brother or a sister one because all her Friends have them and two because I tell her that the reason mummy goes to the hospital and cries sometimes is because she would like to make her a baby brother or sister 
but I am not so sure that she would really like the reality of sharing my attention, of having another baby sitting on my lap when she wants to sit there

I keep thinking that WHEN we have our babies at least our children will be older they will have had all our attention, care and love in those important early years they will be in school have other priorities 
I keep hoping that one day I may even be glad to have gone through this experience I know at least that I will always appreciate how lucky I am to be a mum!! 

Sian xx


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## tomsmummy (Jun 8, 2005)

Hi I'm new to. We have a lovely little boy called Tom who is nearly three. we have been ttc for 2 years now. I am 35 & dh 33. Conceived naturally first time but no luck this time round. Have been due to start IUi but keep having set backs which are very frustrating. Find it all very hard to deal with but am so glad I have found this site as I have no one I can talk to who understands!! 
Wish you all good luck and hope to speak soon
Deb


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