# Just wanted to introduce myself



## Mitzi (May 28, 2004)

Hi,

I registered with this site a year ago after ttc for 1yr.  I had been on pill for 10 yrs and knew it would take time for my body to adjust but still hoped things would happen quickly  .  If only!  After about 8 months my af went mad and didn't get period for 3 months - pg test -ve but of course I kept hoping!!  Finally went to see Dr who did Prog 21 test which was of no benefit with irregular cycles.  Spent most of last May in tears while supposedly revising for exams!  Miraculously passed exams and tried to remain positive.  Dr said would refer me to gyno but never did!! Decided best option was denial!  Strangely enough that didn't have any success.

Went back to Dr this Jan, had another Prog 21 test and was told ovulating - hurray!  but still no pg.  Semen analysis came back ok so finally was referred to gyno.  Now after 2 yrs ttc, am having laparoscopy and hydrotubation this week and am absolutely terrified.  Seems to be only thing I can think about now and spend all my time worrying and fighting back tears  .

I have spent ages reading the message boards which has been helpful and feel a little less alone now but still frightened and overwhelmed at the prospect of what my future might or rather might not hold!

After a lifetime of always achieving what I set out to do, the failure to get pg has left me feeling inadequate and useless. 

Anyone out there at a similar stage of investigations or feeling the same way?  Most people on the boards seem to have been trying for ages and had loads of different treatments, I feel really naive and unsure of myself so would appreciate any support.

Many thanks.

Rachel


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## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

Rachel
Firstly, welcome to FF !!! 

I am sure you will get lots of support, We have been trying for a baby for ages, but I can remember when we first started out and it did seem daunting, but this place will help you through this, I am sure of that, the girls and boys on here are such a support to everyone 

I wish you luck in your laproscopy, I hope it goes well, fingers crossed everything will be fine.
Take care
Jo
x x x


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## mancgal_644 (Oct 18, 2004)

HI Rachel 

welcome to ff hope you find us all supportive and we help you threw everything good luck and again welcome 

Kerry xx


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## freespirit. (Nov 24, 2004)

Hi Mitzi ,
I just wanted to say  hello and welcome you back to the site .
I'm sorry to hear of the bad time you are having   , rest assured you are not alone in the feelings you are experiencing , come and join us on the chitter chatters if you like where a friendly bunch  and you'll find everyone supportive 
freespirit


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## mrs cloudy (Feb 1, 2005)

Hi Mitzi

Like you, we have been ttc for ages but circumstances have meant that we havnt yet undergone any of the procedures that are possible.  We are waiting for DPs hormone levels to build up enough for him to produce decent numbers of sperm and it is taking ages.  So far our treatment has mostly been waiting.  And waiting.

At the last appointment the doc said that sperm levels were getting towards viable levels and that if i hadnt got PG by June we would have to go to the next step, which is very scary.  I dont really know what he meant by that but i really want it to happen without that next step!  I know what you mean about feeling naive.  I feel completely clueless, in awe of what thers have been prepared to go through and unsure whether i have what it takes to go that far. 

I can also relate to how you feel about being inadequate.  Although on the surface our problems are male factor i cant help feeling that if only i knew the thing that would make it work i could do it, and the fact that there is no book to read or rules to learn seems to be one of the main hurdles for me.  You are right, in most other things working harder or learning more makes success more likely.  With infertility it hasnt worked yet.

The positive side is that at least we are heading in the right direction and it does work sometimes.  I dont know about you but i feel excited as well as scared.  It feels positive to be doing something rather than just waiting.  

Best of luck this week, let us know how you get on.


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## Fran (Eva04) (Nov 18, 2004)

hi rachel
i had a laparoscopy two weeks ago. like you - was absolutely dreading it! not sure what hydrotubation is - maybe i had that done aswell!!
anyway - it's a very routing operation and i was in a bit of pain after - but i had a good few days of pampering and attention!! i fell asleep during the premed and when i came round i thought i was waking from the pre-med for the general anaesthetic - only to find out that the operation had already taken place! 
everything was clear with me and i hope it it with you too - but of course, if it's not then it could be a pretty good reason for you not getting pregnant!! 
the scars i have now are almost invisible...  
eva xx


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## Martha Moo (Jan 30, 2004)

Hiya Mitzi

Welcome to fertility friends

I am sure that u will get lots of help and support from this site

Wishing u lots of  with ur laparoscopy and hope that it may give u some answers

Hydrotubation is flushing of the fallopian tubes through the cervix and uterine cavity to remove any surgical debris and reduce the incidence of tubal problems ie blocked tubes, risks of eptopic pregnancy and other things too

Think its probably the same as a dye test but think they use saline instead of the acutal dye

Lots of luck and babydust coming ur way

Best wishes
Emilyxx


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## sab (Jul 3, 2004)

hi and welcome to this wonderful site i only found this site but chance last year when i was diagnosed with fertility problems i too felt all alone and feel useless for not being able to have a family but since i have joined this site everyone has given me strength and encouragement to keep going i really dont know where i would have been had it not been for the support i have recieved of all the  girls and guys on FF.


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## Mitzi (May 28, 2004)

Hi,

Thanks for the lovely welcome.  It is great to hear a bit about you all and know that I am not completely mad for feeling the way I do.  Thanks for the details of the lap & hydro as well.  Am still feeling scared but a bit more prepared having read your comments.  

Wishing you all luck and much babydust.  Will let you know how things go on Friday.

Thanks again.

Love, Rachel


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