# Should we keep trying with DE after 1st failed DE ICSI cycle?



## ferngilly (Feb 9, 2011)

DH and I just had our first DE cycle with a known donor friend of mine, have just taken HPT, unfortunately it was a negative. We were so sure that it was going to work this time as we thought we'd 'fixed' all the other problems we've had on our IVF journey.  We are both devastated because we kind of feel that we've tried everything after 4 ICSI cycles, one with intralipids etc and we just don't know if we can face carrying on with IVF. I'm not sure if we are giving up too soon as we've only had one DE cycle - maybe we were just unlucky this time?
Does anyone have any positive experiences of DE cycles after repeated failures with their own embryos? Right now we feel like we've hit rock bottom  
Also not sure whether it was a good idea to choose a known donor - she's 31 but had normal AMF and had a slightly below average response to the stims with 4 mature eggs and 2 embryos -2 were put back.  Would I have been better off using anonymous donor eggs?


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## Hopefulat35 (Jan 28, 2012)

Hi fern we are just embarking on donor attempt three so I'd say keep going!!! I can't advise you on the known donor issue as that wasn't an option for us. Is there a reason you wanted a known donor? X


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## deirdre11 (Sep 22, 2010)

Hi,

So sorry for your disappointments...  you've had a long road.  DE IVF is at best about 60% successful with 2 embies on board, some will say 70%, but that means there are an awful lot of BFNs out there....  it's a roll of the dice each time.  I would say don't stop based on your disappointment in thinking DE was supposed to work for sure.

Your donor may not feel up to doing a 2nd stim, but as to whether you should change does your doc have any thoughts?

Wishing you luck whatever you decide,  xx D


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## Valentine75 (Sep 6, 2012)

Well we are going through exactly the same as you, our first attempt at IVF with ED has failed. I really think it is worth trying again. Many women have had to do it twice or even three times before it worked. We are going to do it again, no hesitation. But it is hell, though, so though...


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

similar story here - thought DE was the 'magic' answer, especially combined with immunes
had 2 failed fresh DE cycles, 3rd attempt (FET from 2nd cycle) resulted in my twin boys
there are no guarantees as you know, but I'd say give it at least 3 attempts as the majority do conceive with DE within this timeframe
best of luck
Suitcase
x
PS if your donor is young (which she is) and has good test results then there is no reason to believe an anon donor would have been any better


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## Lil Elvis (Dec 31, 2009)

Hi Ferngilly,

I did 2 OE cycles (with the most rubbish response) after a natural miscarriage before having DE. Our fresh cycle failed, but the 2 that went into the freezer resulted in our daughter. I was already on one other waiting list but signed on to the clinic I cycled at again before our FET. So I guess I was prepared to go through at least 2 more fresh cycles. DE actually only puts us back at the same chance of success as the age of our donors so it is never a given, just much better than the poor odds we would have with our own eggs. As it turns out our UK altruistic donor was 32 and obviously pretty fantastic as she donated twice (4 recipients) and from the HFEA info I have we must have all been successful and with at least one set of twins. 

Accepting DE is hard enough, but sadly it isn't a guarantee of success first time. Talk to your clinic (and your lovely donor), but know that fortunately there are now a lot of UK donors coming forward and the waiting lists are now virtually non-existent if they feel that her response is really not likely to improve with a different protocol.

Wishing you lots of success and happiness.

Caroline xxx


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## ferngilly (Feb 9, 2011)

Thanks so much ladies for all of your replies and support. As you know it can be such a hard road and I've really felt the lows of it lately.  Its hard to think that as we have only had one DE cycle we are almost starting from the beginning again, but it does make sense to give it another go - we've decided that we won't be up to anything for at least 6-9 months though.  I'm so petrified of making the wrong decision after it not working for us 5 times already. 
hopefulat35 - we kind of stumbled into using a known donor as my wonderful donor was v supportive when I miscarried last year and she could see how much DH and I wanted to start a family. We haven't looked into anonymous donor eggs as I was afraid about the egg quality, but I'm now wondering if we rushed into the known donor route without fully exploring anonymous donor eggs. The cost of it was also a worry as our bank balance has taken an absolute battering lately!
I think we have plenty of questions to ask at our follow up meeting with the doctor.
Am feeling a bit more positive now   but,  it really feels like the end of the world when you get that blank box on the preg test stick.


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## Hopefulat35 (Jan 28, 2012)

The blank box is hideous but it's amazing how much we can surprise ourselves with how strong we can be and what we can come through to keep going!! Xx


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