# A big (scary) hello from a newbie!



## Michala (Nov 5, 2009)

Just joined and wanted to say a big hello to everyone!   
You have to excuse me as this is a bit scary telling my story to strangers through the crazy gernomous web! But here goes...........
I'm 37 years old (same age as my partner of 3 years) and we are currently on the waiting list for Egg Donation. We are in this situation as I have had all but my womb removed since the age of 25. I experienced a lot of problems as soon as mestruation started at 14! I suffered quite bad with PCOS, and by the time I reached 22 I had tumours growing due to a conditon called Leiomyomia. I eventually got so ill, I had to have one side removed (tumours,tubes and ovaries) but unfortunately within a year I was back due to  more tumours growing, so the other side was removed. The doctors did leave with my womb in the hope that one day I would be in the position that I am today.
We are currently on the waiting list for Egg Donation, as this is the only possible way I can achieve my dream and have a child with someone I love very much and want to have a family with.  
I have had much longer time than my partner to accept this, and I do feel for him sometimes. He loves me very much, but he is as desperate as I am, and sometimes this whole process is very stressful and frustrating. We try to do as much as we can advertising and promotion wise, but having the feeling that you are reliant on a rare occasion where someone else somewhere making that selfless beautiful decision to donate their eggs to help someone like us can feel a little constricted!   Our clinic (in Bristol) has quite a low rate of donated eggs, and that waiting can be much longer.
We joined this group, as despite family and friends desperately trying to appease the pain anyone suffering infertility feels, they do not understand as much as another person who has suffered any kind of infertility difficulties. There are so many highs and lows, and finding someone who understands how you are feeling has to be a help!   Some days I find I can cope and get through great, but some days I feel so low and just like I am smacking my head on a brick wall!  
Any help or advice anyone can provide would be really appreciated - especially any advice as to what else we oursleves can do whilst on the waiting list. Did anyone out there find a good way to advertise, or any ideas as to maybe somewhere we're not trying.  
But we are also here to share a hug or a rant if we can help as much as we can! Sometimes just knowing someone gets how you are feeling is a help   We hope to share as much as we can.
Michala & Aly


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## Tiny21 (Jul 24, 2007)

Hi there and welcome
You have found a great site with a great bunch of people - you are right unless you in this position you cannot relate to it, however empathetic and sympathetic you are so it is good to have other support as well. 

I can't comment on egg donation but as you can see we were reliant on a sperm donor and had to wait and felt very out of control. We had to travel as our local clinic couldn't treat us and we did quite a bit of research to find out who had donors available and waiting list information etc.

I have honestly found the support on here to be invaluable and have made some really good friends. I am sure a moderator will be along to point you towards threads that will really help, I am not sure how I would have got through it all without FF. As you can see we have been blessed after 7 attempts and am now proudly waddling around with a 34 week bump - something I never thought would happen. But it is a hell of a journey and to think to have a sibling we would have to do it all again is something I am not even thinking about right now - I am focussing on our gorgeous little person who we hope to meet before Christmas. 

Ups and downs are totally normal and having somewhere like this to rant on is great. 

Good luck with it all and I hope you get some good info soon to help. 

Tiny x


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## Skybreeze (Apr 25, 2007)

To FF! 

Its great to have you here. FF is here to help you on your journey no matter how long or hard it may be. 
Please take a look at the Links below to help you around FF. 

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*FERTILITY INFO GUIDES ~ *CLICK HERE

Hey hun
There are plenty of ladies on FF that have been through or who are waiting or going through a cycle of donor egg IVF. There are also lots of ladies who have gone abroad for there donor cycles. As you know there isnt alot of donors in th UK and abroad the waiting list are shorter and cheaper. It might be something to consider. We all know here on FF's what its like to have family and friends that dont get what its like to have to have IVF or other fertility treatment. Your in good company hun, please feel free to post anywhere for advice and support. Here are some links to get you started on FF.

*IVF General Chit Chat ~*CLICK HERE

*ICSI General Chit Chat ~ *CLICK HERE

*Peer Support (for asking fertility and treatment related questions of your fellow FFers) ~ * CLICK HERE

*Donor Sperm/Eggs ~ *CLICK HERE

Here is links to give you advice about going abroad for DEIVF. Just incase you want to consider it. 
*Treatment Outside The UK ~ * CLICK HERE

*International ~*CLICK HERE[/ul]

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. 
We have a newbie night in the chat room every week (*Wednesday at 8pm*  )
where you can meet other new members and get Chatroom support.

*The Chat Zone*
[url=http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=453.0]CLICK HERE
All the help and information you will need to navigate your way around the Chat Room

Dont forget to Check the Calendar 
for Chat Events Too 

There is also a *Locations board* CLICK HERE, where you can 'meet' people local to you.

You may also just want a gossip about your hobbies and generally anything , you can do this in the *Girl & Boy talk - Community & Fun Board ~ *CLICK HERE



Take care
Natalie xxx


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hi Michala

Welcome to FF honey, I am so sorry that you have been through so much   

I just wanted to ask if you have considered private clinic and doing eggshare?  I need donor eggs and this is the only way we can try IVF as the waiting list for NHS donor eggs in our area is approx 8 years long!

It costs more than your average IVF because as recipients, we pay the majority of the egg sharers fees, and in return the lovely ladies share half their eggs with us?

If you want to know more, please feel free to ask, either on here or send me a PM (personal message) using the little "scroll" icon on the left hand side of this post underneath my avator picture

Wishing you lots of luck and 

Tracy
xx


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## Michala (Nov 5, 2009)

Just wanted to say a quick big thx to you guys for the warm welcome
 to Tiny, Natalie & Tracy
I have been looking around and around here - there is so much valuable information, but I need to take a break - I am getting screen eyes!  
But thank you again - I hope to see you around again soon
Michala x


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

Hi Michala, would you consider changing clinics and going private?  The wait for being matched with an egg sharer at CRM in London is currently 3 - 6 months.  I waited 11 weeks for a donor match and am now on the two week wait ("TWW").  The wait at my last clinic was more like 3 years due to the low numbers of altruistic donors.  There is a thread re donor egg recipients at CRM to be found on the donor egg and sperm board.  Good luck!

A-Mx


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## Michala (Nov 5, 2009)

Hey A-Mx
Thank you so much for that info - I will go off and check now. I really am a bit in the dark with what clinics there are, what ones are available to all, the process of going on there waiting list......
(We are private  but still the waiting list is up to 36 months - god don't you hate that phrase 'up to'!  )
I'm going to run off and have a peek now
But really a big thx again x


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## boola (Oct 28, 2009)

Hi Michala

What a tough time you've had   but you sound very positive at this stage which is  .  I didn't want to read & run. 

My DH & I are being referred to a clinic in London for the possible start of IVF.  However, egg donating has always been something I've wanted to do and the gp was great and very encouraging.  Just wanted to let you know that there are girls out there who understand your need for a child and the way I see it is that if I can stop this ttc business for some lucky lady out there then thats what I will do. 

My MIL ttc for 14yrs and said if someone had offered her egg donation at that time (20yrs ago) she would have bitten thier hand off, it just wasn't an optioin at the time. It made our minds up that we would try to help someone if we can. 

I hope everything goes well for you and you find that wonderful match  

TC  
Lou x
p.s feel free to pm me


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## beckyyou (Oct 25, 2009)

just like to say hello,
well im 25 and it is so sad to hear everyones stories , im donating some my eggs asap (taking longer then planned and more drugs.) When you read every1s stories I feel so proud of myself to know im helping some1 to have there wish    
I would like to say that if you do want it sooner, I would deff look into private, as for ppl like me there is an appeal as you do not have to pay as much and you do feel you are helping some body else , it took me 8 months to decide to have IVF and donate with help of a friend and reading diff stories I realised I wanted to help.  

babydust to all


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## Michala (Nov 5, 2009)

Hey Beckyyou
I sometimes feel it's a misconception that women like me, don't appreciate the gift that women like you who donate, give.
It is one of the most selfless beautiful things I feel a person can do for someone else.
I'm glad you feel proud - you deserve that pride. It is not an easy snap decision and women like me fully appreciate the risks you open yourslef up for. Without a women like you, I will never fulfill my dream. And I hope every woman who donates her eggs understands that I am not alone in believing women like you are true angels and a gift in yourself for giving more than I ever could repay


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## beckyyou (Oct 25, 2009)

Hi
its something that i can give, and on a lighter note they would only be wasted in one way or another, so 2 me Im not bothered loosing them. I would like to do it again if my IVF does or does not work. Due to personal reasons (bonding when pregnant) I could not do surrogcy and ppl that can i do admire very much. ive always been on organ donnar register and to me its the same helping someone.      
well I wish u all, all the luck and baby dust in the world and hope it works.  xx


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Michala - have PM'd you honey   xxxxxx


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