# Matching Panel and Intros Nov/Dec/Jan



## summer girl

There seem to be quite a few of us with matching panel and introductions coming up and I know how useful I found the last thread in this subject which was for autumn panels so I thought I'd start a new one for those with a match. 

We have our matching panel tomorrow and intros start on 25 Nov! Xx


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## MummyPea

Ooooh good luck for tomorrow. 

We have matching panel on 16th December with intros starting 2nd of january.


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## MummyElf

We had matching panel last week and start intros on Wednesday


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

We are a bit up in the air at the moment, i've just created a new thread which contains our predicament.
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=314739.0


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## Miny Moo

MP 10th Dec, with intro in the New Year for us, almost apart from a couple of days 4 years to date we did it all with our son.

Paul I do not envy the position you are in I hope it works out the best it can for everyone involved.


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Ironically we would still be going to matching panel on the 17th December, it's just intros might start beforehand


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## summer girl

Hi All

Paul it does seem to be a bit of a crazy situation for you, I hope you get a good resolution. 

Mummy Elf, wow Wednesday for intros you must be so excited now!

Mini moo and JesP good luck for panel 😄. 

We're on out way to the panel now so will update later this evening xx


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## summer girl

We're back and we got a unanimous yes        now need to wait for the ratification letter before were allowed to talk directly to the SW


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## AdoptionDolly

Hello!  We went to matching panel a couple of weeks ago and intros start next Friday!  

Are most people getting to meet the foster carers ahead of intros?  We have a few questions we'd like to ask (nappy size, food preferences etc) we've asked our SW if we can have a call with the FC before hand so hopefully they'll be ok with that.  

Dolly


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## Miny Moo

We are meeting the FC next week, a couple of weeks before MP, we also met our son's FC before MP, I always thought that was the norm so that they could answer any questions you have before MP.


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## MummyElf

It is the norm, although our son's SW is rubbish and didn't organise this so tomorrow we meet the FC, meet our son, and then find out what's happening for the remainder of contact. His SW, when I asked the plan for contact, said 'I like to plan it on the day'.....yes well YOU might but I've also got a 16 month old to consider   

Congratulations summer girl! Yay!  Time to celebrate with a


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## MummyPea

We're meeting Little Pea's FC the week before MP. We were hoping it'd be sooner so we can start doing some shopping, as we don't know what he's coming to us with. Now it looks like we're going to be buying bits for LO near Christmas... Eeeek!!!


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Congratulations Summer Girl, what brilliant news  

We strangely prefer talking to our LO's SWs more than our own, but I suppose we went about the match in an unconventional way. 

We also meet FCs on Thursday - about 5 weeks before MP.


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## MummyPea

We're very lucky that our SW is absolutely fantastic. She's meeting with Little Pea's SWs etc on Tuesday which she's excited about. We just have a crazy few weeks a head of us but it's all moving quite quickly.


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## Smudgey

Gosh everything is moving fast for you guys !  Paul I hope it all works out for you . 

We have a possible link to a LO and LO s SW is coming out on Friday with our SW to see us , anyone know what the visit will be like ? What will the LO SW ask , what can we ask them ?


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## MummyPea

Hi Smudgey.

We've had two linking meetings... One was terrible (not to scare you) and we were made to feel like the SWs were doing us a favor. However, it did let us know that the LO wasn't for us. 

The second linking meeting was lovely. The SWs asked if we had any questions... Make sure you read the CPR fully and write down any questions you have, even if it's just a clarification. Then they told us a little bit more about LO and had a video for us to watch (I cried). They had a look around the house, especially LOs room. They asked us why we felt we could parent LO... We had read his CPR so were able to point out he has a very similar personality to us, plus we could be sympathetic about his family history.

48 hours later we found out that the LO is our Little Pea and that he'll be coming home in 7 weeks


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Hi Smudgey, I'm glad you have found your LO. 

The SWs will ask you a few questions from your PAR - so do remember to have a quick scan beforehand, for example I was asked about my disability and how I would cope with a toddler. They will ask what makes you the best parents for your LO? But as JesP said above, read her CPR and be truthful - what drew you to him/her?

You can ask them anything you want, and do so as it shows you are keen!

Here are a few of the questions we asked (these are obviously aimed at a girl)...


Is there an update on her daily routine?
Can she dress / undress herself?
Has she always been in placement with other children? - attention? - stability?
What does she call her Foster Carers and what does she call her Birth Mother?
How has she settled at nursery, has she struggled?
More information needed regarding Nursery attendance - frequency and length?
How has she adapted to the routine of nursery and being away from Foster Carers?
Is there a Nursery report / key worker report? 
What is her current understanding of her situation? - What is her context, does she know that she will be adopted?
What size bed does she sleep in?
Has she had any problems sleeping recently?
Does she use a dummy?
Is she toilet trained?
Are there any current medical concerns, or any that haven't been listed in her CPR?
Is she meeting her milestones?
Has she had any childhood illnesses, e.g chicken pox?
At what stage of development are her speech and language skills? Are there any issues being or to be addressed?
Are there any other children in the foster care placement (siblings or other children) and how does she get on with them?
Will you be able to provide us with photos from her stay with the FC placement?


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## mrsballack

Hi smudgey, our meeting with the children's social workers was very casual. They came round, chatted generally for about an hour, asked us if we had any questions and then looked around the house.  I thought it had gone terribly but apparently they loved us.  

We have finally seen pictures of our potential miniBs.  I am totally smitten with them.  We were both really keen after hearing about them and reading their reports and the picture feels like the final piece of the puzzle.


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## Smudgey

Thanks guys   been looking and trying prams car seats in John Lewis eek , it's a minefield. , xx


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

In regards ro prams and car seats, we were told we should get whatever FCs have so we keep as much continuity as possible.  Perhaps ask your SW which you should do before splashing out? x


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## summer girl

MummyElf how did your meeting with your son go?

We did have a meeting with our FC a few weeks ago and we're told that after MP we were allowed to talk directly, then on Tuesday the say we have to wait for the ratification letter, which just seems crazy as we start our intros on 25th. It would be good to speak to our FC to find out what things she's going to be sending so like you JesP we can go and buy what we need before LO arrives. I am really tempted to call her anyway and ask that she doesn't tell the SW, if she doesn't feel comfortable then I'll leave it, what do you think?

Smudgey have you thought about looking at Gumtree/eBay for purchases, I have picked up a lovely stokke prime for less than 40% of the price of a new one and it's in perfect condition as the family had 2 other prams!


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## MummyPea

I bought some bits secondhand a while ago such a pram and a cotbed. I wanted to get my own pram rather then having the FCs one as I'm a bit fussy when it comes to prams lol. 

Just had all the reports for panel through today.. Eeek!!... Had to write down why we are the right choice for Little Pea!!


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Due to extreme tiredness and a bit of pain this evening I'm going to be lazy and just paste what my DW said about our meeting with the FCs yesterday...

..We had the most amazing meeting this morning, it was over 2 hours & we are feeling so in love with our little girl. 
We have learnt so much more about her and she has really come to life in our minds and our hearts.

The foster carers are amazing-we have them to thank for all their love and work raising our little girl. We and our LO are lucky they are in her life-truly wonderful people.

So...she doesn't like jam or melon but she loves cheese and all other fruit. Not keen on veggies and prefers sweets to chocolate!

Loves all things pink, dolls, fairies, dressing-up, Disney, castles, books, tea-sets, her trike, kitties, swings, her favourite film is 'Wizard of Oz'-she calls it Dorothy. 

We have gleaned so much info & really feel like we are beginning to know our daughter!

We have cheekily managed to exchange email and numbers with the foster carers too (they were more than happy but the respective sw's don't know!) so we can stay in touch between now and January.

Aah we are gushing with love and excitement-what a whirlwind! xx


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## summer girl

Ah Paul that's lovely news so pleased that it's gone well xxx


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

summer girl said:


> Ah Paul that's lovely news so pleased that it's gone well xxx


It went really well, the FCs have taken a close-up photo of both me and DW separately so when we are approved at MP they will place our photos on their fridge so LO can get to know our faces all the time.

The FCs are going to give us EVERYTHING that belongs to our LO, all her clothes, toys, Christmas presents, trike, keyboard!

Even better, before LO's SW arrived (FCs arrived first) they told us a story which almost melted us!

Our LO was drawing a picture and her FC asked her what is was, she replied that it was her new daddy, and next to it she had drawn her new mummy  . 
Apparently she must have overheard the FCs talking with her SW, it's amazing what little ears pick up!

We have penciled in that Intros will start on the 13th and last for approx 10 days, so she could be home by the 22nd January, which just happens to be my DW's birthday!

We now have to get a new bed (as she's in a single and not a toddler bed) and get the DVD sorted for MP. We were also told we would get a £250 settling-in grant, so that was a nice surprise.

Paul x


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## Smudgey

Wow. Paul that's had me with tears in my eyes ! My birthday is the 22 nd too !! So pleased for you she sounds adorable !  

Well we have a link , little twinkles SW came yesterday with our SW and the adoption worker and it was a big fat yes they want to proceed , we are so excited ! Meeting FCC on wed and pencilled in match panel for 17/1/14 !  Apparently little twinkle has just started crawling this week and is very smily an giggly ) jan seems a long way off , xx


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## summer girl

Paul your story melts my heart 💛, it's really good that you know  that your LO is coming with everything it will make it so much easier, and you can use your settling in grant for a new bed 😄

Smudgey congratulations on your link 👏🎉👏, brilliant news!!!!! I know January seems a while away, but you'll have lots to do before then and now! I'd recommend that you think about and practice your DVD, we left ours and then we're panicking as the artificial light really made the pictures look grainy. Our LO is also quite young and we read some stories to that LO could get familiar with our voices. We also did a Tomy talking photo album which look us a while to get to grips with 😄


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## summer girl

We got an call today to say our match has been ratified and we're now allowed to talk to the foster carer   Soooooo pleased, another step closer, only 7 more sleeps and we get to meet our son


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## gettina

Woohoo summer girl mega news well done

And such nice progress for you too Paul  

Congratulations smudgey and mrs ballack - great that they loved you!

Wonderful jesp! 

Not long now adoptiondolly!!

Mini moo I hope friday is a good day.

All going great for us (touch wood). While we were on holiday (vietnam was wonderful!) our sw was continuing to rush madly to get little blue home to us ASAP with 4 dec matching panel, urgent ratification, intros starting 10th dec, home for 17 dec. woohoo. 
Out of the blue -almost - only 3 weeks left in work (messing with my head!) 
And we should have our son home in a month!!! Omg. So exciting. And lots to do!
Gettina


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## summer girl

Gettina that's amazing news, 3 weeks will fly by, today was my first day home and felt so great    Xx


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## Smudgey

Wow gettina that's amazing ! We were hoping to be so quick but our LA won't do intros so near Xmas :-(( 
It's all very exciting on here !!!!


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## gettina

Thanks summer girl and smudgey. Ours doesn't as a rule either but as littly is under a year, intros were going to be tricky in jan due to fc situation, and we were happy to commit to 'lock down' over Christmas it got the green light.


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## AdoptionDolly

Gettina, it's good to see a LA make a decision depending on the individual case rather than just have a one rule fits all attitude!  And so fab that your LO will get their first Xmas with you.  

Summer Girl, looks like we'll be going through intros around the same time.

We meet our LO on Friday... it doesn't feel real sometimes, but I just peak in her room see the cot and get soooo excited!


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Thank you ladies for you lovely replies.

I hope your Intros go well Gettina, you deserve to have a very special Christmas!

I think we are using the opportunity to have a break and see the family in London (who we won't see for a long while) before it all begins in the new year, only 13 days of work left this year and 6 next!


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## summer girl

Ah AdoptionDolly

I feel exactly the same way, we had a couple of video clips the last few days from our foster carer and it's so lovely to see LO 😄 not long until Friday for you xx

Paul it's so lovely to count down the work days, it's such a great feeling  

Have a good evening everyone xx


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## Smudgey

We are going to London too. Paul just before Xmas


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## MummyPea

I like that we're not the only ones having a mini-break before introductions. We're going to Cambridge at the beginning of December, before MP!

Went shopping yesterday and got a few bits that we'll need and I can't see him coming to us with. Once we've spoken to the FC in 3 weeks we'll know what Little Pea is coming to us with so we can go shopping for clothes etc. 

It's very exciting


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

I'm curious, has anyone else sneakily got FC's contact details so you can ask questions during this wait or is it just us?

Paul x


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## MummyPea

We have the FC's details as they are in the CPR but we're not contacting them until after we meet them. They have sent messages to us via SWs though


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

I see, I'd just assumed you had already met them. x


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## MummyPea

Unfortunately not. We're meeting them a week before MP and only 3 weeks before intros are meant to be starting!!


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## Miny Moo

We swoped details with our sons FC when we had his life appreciation day, we had almost the same time scale for him as we are having for our daughter to be, the best thing that happened was when I opened a Christmas Card one day which the FC had got our son to write to us, was a fabulous surprise x


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Miny, what is a life appreciation day?


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## summer girl

We too had FC details from CPR but we're told we weren't allowed to talk directly until after ratification!


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## Miny Moo

It was a day we spent with SW and FF and lots of different people who knew or had any input into our sons life came, previous SW's, support workers, therapists, teachers, it was brilliant he really came to life listening to all these people talk about him. 

I thought that they were supposed to be happening more often now, but it doesn't look like we are having one this time. We are just meeting the doctor, child psychologist and FC on Friday.


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## Wyxie

We had a life appreciation day for both our children.  I thought this, like meeting foster carer before matching panel, was standard practice; it is with all our local LAs and it really should be.

Life Appreciation days even for our very young children can be invaluable.  We got a huge amount of anecdotal information which put a lot of the more general information we'd had previously in context.  With Wyxling we were both quite shocked by some of the information we received.  I think that was when we first realised there were some big chunks of information we hadn't been given by her Social Worker and Foster Carer, and it helped us understand some of her behaviours and quirks a little better.  With Bladelet, who went into foster care at birth, it was shorter and most of the information we got came from the foster carer, but we did get some useful information from birth family's family support worker and contact supervisors.

Lovely to hear about so many matches.  I'm sure it will make for a lovely Christmas, knowing your children will finally be with you in the new year.

All the best,

Wyxie xx


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## Smudgey

We met FC today , she is lovely ! Really brought LO to life ! She brought loads of pics we could keep , she's soooo cute ! And we are going to MP on 17 th jan with a meeting on 24 th and then intros straight after eeekkkk ! They agreed on our name we have picked too , so our Little twinkle will be home by end of jan ! Xxx


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## Brummig

Can I join here?  We got ratification from DM on Monday,  planning meeting today, start intros on Monday!!!!


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## summer girl

Welcome Brumming, we start intros on the same day 😄 are you all prepared? I'm still in a slight state of panic buying last minute things keep trying to think that I should be relaxing but still so many things to do!


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## Smudgey

Welcome bruming! Exciting times !!!   

Summer girl , I could do with a list of things to buy lol ! Don't know where to start !


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## -x-Lolly-x-

Popping in with big   for smudgey!!!   brilliant news!! How old is your little prince/princess? So happy for you


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## Smudgey

Thanks lolly ! Little twinkle is 6.5 months so will be nearly 9 months when placed xx how is little pink ? Xx


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## -x-Lolly-x-

Ahh how lovely, a real teeny one!! Is it a blue or pink twinkle? You must be just so excited!!! Little pink is doing very well thank you, a big 1 year old now who took 5 steps the other day, does all the actions to her favourite songs, loves feeding the ducks and lights up our lives   you have so much fun to come


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Congratulations Smudgey, that's awesome news, I'm really pleased for you  
Have you sorted her room our yet?

Paul x


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## AdoptionDolly

Wonderful news Smudgey, January will come round fast.

Hi Brummig, we had our planning meeting today too and our intros start tomorrow.  Exciting times eh!

Summer girl, I could have done with a list too!  We got in the obvious bits and bobs, but because we didn't meet or talk to our FC in advance we don't know exactly what our LO will be coming with... but hopefully we'll have time to at some time during intros to nip to a supermarket to get what we don't have (nappies, formula, bottles? etc).  

Can hardly believe this time tomorrow we will have met our LO...


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## summer girl

Hi All

Such exciting times for us all, I'm bit sure this is an exhaustive list,some are things my sister is giving me as her LO has grown out of them hence the branded names:
Activity gym
Snow suit
Baby BJORN carrier
Baby bouncer
Baby hair brushes
Baby monitor
Baby Vicks
Baby Vicks plug ins
Baby walker with Activity play
Baby wash/shampoo
Bath seat if you feel you need one
Beakers for water
Blankets
Body cream (avens very good and natural)
Bottles
Changing Baby bag/ hand bag
Cot mattress
Cot bedding sheets etc
Dioralyte always hand to have
Door hanging jumpy seat
Dressing gown
Food snacks such as rice cakes, biscuits etc
Formula
General baby toys
High chair
Matanium nappy rash cream (yellow)
Maxi Cosi forward facing car seat - Axiss is good one to get as it swivels 90 degrees good price on kiddo care at moment plus you get 7% cash back if you order through www.quidco.com
Medicines cal pol and ibrophene 
Muslins
Nail clippers
Nappies
Plates and baby cutlery
Playpen/ travel cot
Rattles extra toys to add to gym
Rocking horse
Sleep Grow bags
Slippers, shoes
Socks
Stair gates
Steriliser
Swimming outfits
Table cloth to protect dining table and plastic mat to go under high chair to protect floor!
Thermometer
Weaning pots to freeze food

Hope this helps?

Summer Girl xx


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## mrsballack

Congrats smudgey! We'll be starting introductions around the same time all beings well.  This week we're making a start on a photo book (well 2 as we're doing them one each, they're not great at sharing apparently) 
We've ordered those tomy talking ones but I'm not sure what we're going to say yet.


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## Smudgey

Fab list thanks summer girl ! 

Went to John Lewis last night and mamas and papas and picked furniture (good sale on in mamas and papas at min !) hubby ordering that today  

Still umming and ahhjing over pushchairs ! 
I've got a secondhand mother are extreme as we have horses so need an off roarer that doesn't matter if it gets full of horse slobber and mud lol ! But need an everyday one , love the mini city GT but it doesn't rear face and we have been told that a need for the attachment process , love the I candy strawberry too but it's just that bit too dear I think !


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## Smudgey

Hi Mrs ballack , we have been told to do ours over Christmas too , we have no idea either lol !


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## Loopylou29

All so exciting! 

For those of you with los who will be teething then nelsons teething granules/powder are fab, they seem to work far better than the gels you can buy. Anbesol liquid is also good but its an acquired taste. 

For stuffy noses we've found putting a couple of drops of olbas oil on a tissue and leaving it in los room at night works better than the plug ins.

Good luck to all of you after being through it twice I can tell you its hard work but the best thing ever


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## summer girl

Hi

Just a few more buying tips 😄 Gumtree or looking for local eBay bargains through goofbid are an amazing way to pick up bargains. I love gumtree in particular because you can look at the goods before saying you want it. I got an amazing Stokke Xplory pram for just over £400 with footmuff which would have cost around £1200 new and it's in amazing condition (they had 2 other prams in the house so it was hardly used 😝), you can take off all the textiles and put them in the washing machine (which I've done using washing powder and conditioner LO is used to), it's also really good for bonding as LO sits higher so it's easier for eye contact, it can easily switch to forward or rear facing, and you can use it as a high chair then you're out and aboutI love it!  I also got my high chair from gumtree too and today a lady that is moving has invited me to go and have a look at all the things she has as she doesn't want to take them with her. I have found that a lot of things that are in sale on gumtree have had very little use, perhaps at grandparents houses, I'd recommend looking at least 😄

Onto the talking album, this is what I had planned to do;
Photo of us together in the living room, we will say hello and introduce ourselves as mummy and daddy and say this is where we normally relax
Photo of DH who will say the types of things he is looking forward to doing with LO
Photo of me who will say the types of things I am looking forward to doing with LO
High chair and table to say this is where we have breakfast, lunch, dinner etc, DH sitting having his food
Playroom with toys, me playing with toys saying something about having fun together
Bath filled with bubbles with DH who will say that he is looking forward to having fun with LO and the bubbles
Cot with mobile music in background with me who will say that I am looking forward to reading bedtime stories with LO
Photo of us together we'll say how much we’re looking forward to being LO's mummy and daddy and bringing him home to live with us forever.

After getting the album I realised the clips are only 8 seconds so would need be brief! So this is what we did instead, I basically had the same photos as above;

First photo of is together saying hi, looking forward to being your forever mum and daddy and these are toys we've bought you can have one now and one when we meet meet you
then on the next two pages, said we can't wait to meet you but meanwhile here are some photos of us, I'm going to be you forever daddy and I said and I'm going to be your forever mummy, 
Then on the next pages we took it in turns to say this is where we eat, where we play, where you'll sleep, have a bath, picture of us with the pram saying we were looking forward to going on walks etc so it was quite brief.

Just a tip to record the sound for the right hand photo you need to hold the right hand play and record button together, it took me a few hours to find the right hand play button 😳. We had to also record a DVD and have just basically said we're looking forward and meeting LO but in the meantime here are some stories 😄 it's a bit grainy but it will do, tip would be to record it in natural light which we ran out of time to do!

We've been told to wear the same clothes the first time we meet LO as hopefully LO will recognise us better, don't change your hairstyle either in between taking the photos and meeting LO. 

Hope I'm not teaching grandma to suck eggs 😉


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## Wyxie

Doing the photo album is so hard!  Our album for Bladelet we kept very simple.

Mummy: Hello Bladelet, this is Mummy.
Daddy: Hello Bladelet, this is Daddy.
Mummy: This is your big sister, Wyxling.
Wyxling: Hello!
Daddy: These are our cats, Heidi and Molly.
Mummy: This is your bedroom. (Focus of photo on cot, and with the toy we were sending to him sat right in the middle of the photo)
Daddy: This is your family, waiting for you. (photo of all 3 of us)
Mummy: We can't wait to meet you. (photo of all 3 of us)

Bladelet was only 10 months and didn't really get it, it was just voices and pictures, but if we'd been able to do it for Wyxling (19 months and talking well at placement) I'd have done it at the same level.  Mostly it's hearing voices and seeing you.  Photos of us, we did face and shoulders, in our house, no make up (I don't normally wear it) and hair tied back just like when I'm dealing with the kids.  We also wore the same clothes on first meeting as in the photos.  Photo of the cats was a beauty, he loved it and that was the button he was wearing out, but that's fine, because things like that really help when they first come and everything else is alien, a little soft fluffy cat to chase and try and stroke is just a brilliant distraction.  Also, they hear your voice when they're pressing the button by the picture of the cute animal.  Bladelet definitely recognised us when he first saw us, and grabbed straight at the photo album, before dropping it on the floor when he clocked the helium balloon we were carrying (something else I simply cannot recommend enough for a first meeting).

All the photos were in our house or garden.

It's so lovely to read all the good news in this thread, and wishing everyone the very best with their new families.

Wyxie xx


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## GERTIE179

Hi - we were similar to Wylie and LO was 16 months. He fixated on the pic of the dog and bonded extremely well with the dog when he came home (more than us). X


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## Brummig

Didn't get chance to post yesterday. Planning meeting went ok.  I thought we were quite prepared but realised we still have lots to do!  We are a household with lots of 'stuff' which is okay but thinking about having a toddler in the house again suddenly realised how many small bits are lying around and go into little mouths eg bits of lego, so had a major sort yesterday, and cleaned the carpet in the living room etc.  We still have a long list for today - trip to the tip, cupboard locks.  We had got a toddler bed for Little Red but when SW came to visit on Wed she said she's still in a cot so we need one of those.  Someone is lending us on so we need to collect that and assemble it today.  We have a 10 yr son so have lots of friends with kids of various ages, and that's been great for getting stuff cheaply - especially as she is 17 months so we need baby things, but won't use them for long.  
We want to have some normal family time tomorrow - sons swimming lesson then all go out for dinner.
We won't see much of Big Red this week, my parents are being fab and looking after him but obviously I've got to make sure uniforms and packed lunches etc are organised.  Then foster carers are coming back to our house with us  after we've been away for 3 days but son and parents have been here, so hope it will not be total bombsite!
So excited, and nervous!!!  Weather forecasts aren't great and we're going to have a lot of travelling.

Don't know what she has in terms of really winter clothes.  We will have to go out on school runs so we may have to get snow suit and things but have to wait to see what she has, and sizes etc.  Another tip - join all the parenting clubs - Boots, supermarket as you get some decent offers and points and it all adds up with nappies and stuff.

For our talking photo album we really didn't know what to say either. In  the end we did:
Pic of 3 of us: Hi this is Mummy, Daddy and Big Red
Pic of me:  We're looking forward to meeting you
Pic of Hubby playing guitar - guitar strumming
Pic of our 2 cats: me saying 'miaoow'
Pic of me and Big Red playing in sea: me singing 'Oh I do like to be beside the seaside'
Pic of all us - see you soon

We did a dvd too - 3 of us singing Barney's song in her bedroom with the Minnie Mouse that we got for her and was sent with the dvd.


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## Brummig

meeting her tomorrow!!!!


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## summer girl

Good luck with your meeting Brumming, we too have our first meet tomorrow and can't wait 😄


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## Flash123

Brummig and summer girl, I hope today is everything you've drempt it to be xxx

Jumping in on the topic of lists and pushchairs. On parenting there is quite an extensive list for an 8/9 month starlet and I can't recommend the babyjogger city versa highly enough. We've only had little man 6 months and its our 3rd pushchair ( I have a bit of a pushchair thing   it's so practical, easy to fold, fits everywhere, really comfy and is rear/parent facing. 

Xxx


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Hope Brummig and Summergirl had a magical day today!

Can't wait to hear all about it!

Paul x


----------



## MummyPea

Does that else have to do a dvd for lo? If so what did you show/say?


----------



## summer girl

Hi Paul

We spent 2 hours with LO today and it was amazing 😍 LO seemed to really like DH which was lovely. We've bought a travel cot, nappies and formula tonight and stopped off for a quick bite to eat on the way home too.  Can't wait to see him again tomorrow, we have BM meeting tomorrow too so it's going to be a tough emotional day, but know that we will meet LO again so we can't wait ☺

Brumming hope you've had an equally lovely day xx


----------



## Brummig

Glad to hear it went so well Summer girl.  Ours was good too!  She is so gorgeous - and a bit cheeky!  Hope your meeting with BM goes okay.


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## gettina

Wonderful to read that it was amazing meeting your child summergirl and brummig.
And yes, all the best with tomorrow's tougher meeting sg.
We meet fc  wed and dr on thurs. Done our photo album but need to record nursery rhymes tomorrow. Weird homework! 
Gettina x


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Glad both your first days worked out well, I bet the next few days will just zoom by!

We have still got the album and DVD to start, I think I'll create a storyboard tomorrow which should help with both.

What we need before we start though is LO's bed (which arrives on Wednesday), and more importantly some sort of cuddly toy!
We already have 3 different sized Upsy Daises, a gorgeous golden bear called George (we got on the day we were approved), a small panda (as LO loves "Same Smile" - some random CBeebies show) and finally Heston the Hippo (from Silentnight). None of them are "just right" 

Spending my time on Jelly Cat ( http://www.justjellycat.co.uk/ ) doesn't help whittle it down either.

Paul x


----------



## Smudgey

Wow lots going on on here again ! So exciting ! 

Summer girl and brumming , intros sound amazing , good luck with BM summer girl xxx

Flash , thanks so much for the pushchair advice , we are going to look at one tonight , it looks just what we are after ! 

Giving my notice at work today eek ! Finish on the 16 th jan  

Bought Little twinkle some bibs and Muslim squares yesterday , and we got a high hair on Sunday and ordered the nursery furniture yesterday too !  

Hope you have managed to pick a teddy bear Paul , no idea what we are going to get !


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## summer girl

Hi All

Just a quick update from me tonight as I'm absolutely shattered! BM meeting went really well, got loads if life history, hobbies, childhood memories, favourite movie/books etc. lots of useful if to tell our LO 😄 spent the afternoon with LO and poor thing has a cold, can really see it in the eyes, but was good for is and let us both have a cuddle 😊 off for a very early night as woke up at 3.15 last night and took almost two hours to get back to bed!

Brumming hope your day has gone well. We've got to be at FCs house at 10 tomorrow and stay until after lunch then go back to observe evening routine. So will be a full on day!

Paul hope you found your toy and Smudgey well done on all that shopping 😄 xx


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## AdoptionDolly

Summer girl, fantastic news... sounds like it's all going really well for you. Glad the meeting with BM went ok too.  I can fully understand that shattered feeling as I have it too!  I was up awake at 5am this morning and couldn't get back to sleep (too excited   )

Brummig, hope you've had a good day too.

Paul, did you decide on a toy?  Our LO has been given a couple of Jellycat toys as pressies and they are gorgeous, we've got bashful bunny and a bashful monkey, they are both lovely but the bunny is SO soft! 

Smudgey, we've got the Baby jogger city mini and we're very pleased with it.. it's forward facing though (which is a good thing as our LO is a nosey parker and loves to look around!) so that might not be what you're after.

We've had the most amazing week with our LO, the smiles we get when we arrive at the FCs in the morning are just priceless.  It's been exhausting and this morning, after a bad nights sleep, I was absolutely shattered... but as soon as I saw that smiley face I forgot all about the tiredness.  

Early night for me as we've got a full day tomorrow... 10-4 then 5-bedtime.


----------



## Brummig

Sorry, posts are short at sooo tired.  Another good day.  Little Red recognised us as soon as we came in today, and smiled.  She was a bit grumpy then, but foster mother says she's always like that when people arrive, even people she's met lots.  We played with her lots, and had a few moments where she came to us rather than foster mother.  We left for a couple of hours, then went out with her and foster carers to visit.  Heart jumped when she came to me rather than FM! We stayed to give her tea, then came home to see Big Red.  Little Red is getting a cold unfortunately, and I have a niggling toothache - but we have been warned everyone is always ill in intros!  Staying in area for next 2 nights, and not sure about wifi so may not be able to post for couple of days.  Big Red gets to meet her on Friday!
Glad your meeting with birth mother went well Summergirl.  Adoption Dolly - sounds like things are going well for you too.  Hope you both sleep well and have a good day tomorrow.


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## summer girl

AdoptionDolly hope your day went well yesterday?

Brumming hope your toothache has gone and you're having a lovely time. We too are staying away and will go back home on Sunday. We did have to go to our house today with FC and LO which to be honest we felt was a waste of time as we spent more time travelling there and back and all this driving backwards and forwards is getting to us. We did have a nice time with LO, was happy to play for a while and then we had lunch which went well, went for a walk halfway through LO feel asleep. Was asleep for an hour and them was a little grouchy whilst we were trying to pack everything up to bring back with us, we should have remembered that LO doesn't like to be placed on their back, but on the front, I checked nappy which was fine and as soon as I'd finished LO turned onto front and was all smiles 😊. At least well know for next time!  We know have 2 full days on our own with LO, we pick up just after breakfast and take back just before bedtime 😄 hopefully we're going to have the energy to keep up for the next two days 😄

Hope everyone is doing well xx


----------



## Miny Moo

Sounds like intros are going well for you both.

Going to start our intro's photo album next week, as we already have an adopted son he is very keen that things are done like we did for him so we will keep our intros like his except we are going to use a talking photo album, not the tomy one as our little lady is 5 yrs thought it would be a bit childish, we won't have the room done but will take a photo of her name on the door same as we did for our son.

Also our intros have been delayed by a couple of weeks, all for the good of our little lady and we are very happy with why they have made this decision, still a little disappointed though, just want to get on with it now!!


----------



## summer girl

Ah mini moo that's great news that you're almost there, I'm sure the delay will go by in no time 😄

We had a really good day today and even bathed and have bottle at our accommodation, really didn't want to take LO back, only 2 more sleeps now 😄

Brumming hope you're getting on ok xx


----------



## Brummig

Reflection day today so at home and try for a quick catch up.  She has been for 2 visits at our house now, and has met her big brother.  We picked him up from school at afternoon break so they could have more time together,  It was lovely - he was so excited, and he pushed her in the pushchair for about 20 minutes, bouncing along excitedly, only stopping when we got to the sweet shop - lol!
She has been great with us -we've fed, changed nappies, successfully got her in and out of car seats without hitting her head (we have a 2 seater), and managed a supermarket trip yesterday with both kids.  The only big we haven't done is settle her to sleep at night - we had 2 nights in the plan - 1 to watch and 1 to do, but my turn to do was after her first day out with us.  We'd been out 6 hrs, had a great day, but she was shattered and just wanted the foster carer when we got back, and got very upset.  Her, me and foster carer all ended up in tears!  Her sleep routine is not great at moment as she was teething and then ill just before intros, and foster carer is absolutely lovely, but her family want to see her before she goes, and they all come in late.  We'll deal with it when she comes, but expecting some rough nights at first!  When we took her back yesterday she cried when she saw foster carer and went straight to her, but then cried when we said goodbye too and clung to me!
Got to go now and get hubby up as our SW is coming in 15 mins (why did we agree to a 9am meeting)

Hope you're okay Summer girl.  How did your 2 days go?


----------



## MummyPea

OMG Brummig, sounds like you've been having fun! We start intros in 5 weeks. A little nervous as we've got to travel to stay near LO. We've got to try and work out how intros are going to work. We live in Essex and don't drive, and Little Pea is in Kent. It's not a long drive but it's over the Dartford crossing... Which means it could be an absolute nightmare getting there even if MiL helps by driving us! I'm hoping that the SW & FF are sensible and flexible about the travelling etc. 

Meeting Foster carer in a week and then a week later we're at panel! Hubby has booked of his leave and he's pretty much off for all of January!

We've just recorded out Tomy album and worked out what we want to do for our DVD. Just got to find someone to come and record it!


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

We're not too far behind you Jes.

Introductions start 6 weeks tomorrow, and we go to panel 2 weeks on Tuesday!

Finally we have everything in place to start the photos and DVD. LO's single bed arrived on Wednesday and her two cuddly toys came on Friday (one spare of course), we finally decided on a 12" Pink Blossom Bashful Elephant (from Jellycat) possibly called Esther (but the final decision hasn't happened yet).

I spent most of yesterday looking for video editing software to use with our iPhones as video cameras, and have realised that DW's iPad came with iMovie video editing software    My little Sis has agreed to help us do the filming and all we need now is a weekend with good daylight (and a storyboard).

We're both a bit exhausted, we decided to go to the VA's annual xmas party and helped run the tombola.  It was wonderful seeing all these forever families enjoying themselves and interacting, knowing it will be us out there with them next year! 

Love to you all, Paul x


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## MummyPea

You guys are at panel the day after us and you start introductions the day little pea comes home! It's all go between now and new years! Looking forward to knowing what lo is coming to us with so we can go shopping lol. There are so many nice clothes and toys etc but I don't want to get too much until we know what he's coming with.


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

We've managed to resist buying clothes, although we have put a few outfits on our wishlist for family to buy.  

But I have given in to buying a few toys, it's them damn ******** selling sites, advertising things I don't need for not much money!
We now have a pink electric ride-on mini cooper and a hello kitty bike taking up some room, and loads of books and cuddly toys too - I just can't help it, i've waited 10 years for this moment, so I'm struggling to control myself


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## Brummig

Exciting times guys!  
JesP - I can't really advise on intros when you don't drive, but just to say have a good idea yourselves about how it can work, what you can manage and what you really can't, so you can fight your corner.  In our experience social workers and fcs get locked into ideas about 'this is how we always do it' and you sometimes have to ask the questions in the right ways to find out if this is the best for child and so needs to be this way, or just the norm so could change.  We asked for a budget to book our own accommodation rather than them booking us a hotel for 2 nights (ended up being 3). We found a self catering cottage - we brought lo back there one day.  It was great to be able to come back somewhere that felt like home.  We also found that fc was willing to be flexible about some things when we got there (without involving sw) - we have a 10 year old too and have  tried to keep some normality for him. You cannot overestimate how exhausting the whole thing is! 

Review meeting today!!!


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

I hope your review meeting goes well today Brummig and wishing Summer Girl all the best bringing LO home today


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## Miny Moo

Sounds like everyone is moving along nicely.

Brimming we will be doing our intros with a 10 yr old in toe as well, the LA is booking us a 3 bedroomed accommodation, we are luck that the area in which we are doing intros is a busy holiday destination in the summer so they should have plenty of choice mid Janruary, we have also asked if possible could they book somewhere we can take the dog.

We received our official invitation to MP today and we are now just off to look at carpet for the bedroom.


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## Brummig

Little Red came home forever yesterday!!!! We kept the day quite low key as advised.  We (me, DH and big brother) picked her up at 9am, (tears all round but only for a  few minutes) then we went to Harvester for breakfast (mainly ok, but have to get used to highchairs, and not everywhere having small child friendly food), couple of shops in the centre then off.  She slept at 11.30 for about 40 mins which was good as her sleep has been really messed about by intros.  We stopped on way home at a country park estate about half way so kids played in park (let Big Red let off some steam!), we saw a few animals, and we had a coffee. Home about 3pm.  She was fine all evening, loved her bath as always.  I was expecting a rough night but it took only 15 mins to get her to sleep (we deliberately kept her up a little later than normal) and she has slept all night!!!!!

Miny Moo - sounds like your accommodation should be good - it really helps having somewhere you feel comfortable.  After an emotional evening in intros when I failed to settle her last thing we would have wanted was to have to go out to eat, me and DH went back to cottage for comfort food (bought earlier) and a glass of wine in front of tv!
We found laminate and rugs best flooring for Big Red floor  -wipe up anything or wash rugs in machine!

Hope its going well Summer Girl.  

I guess I move somewhere else now our intros are done - another thread?  Wish everyone very best luck.x


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

That's great news that it's all gone well.

You now get to move over to the "other side" http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=187.0
on the 'Parenting Adoptive Children' boards.

We'll see you there soon xx


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## Miny Moo

Enjoy your 1st few days as a family Brumming, when our big boy came home they went by in a daze, we enjoyed having a few SW free days as well and starting to form our own routines gradually.

Well our talking photo album just arrived so will be having a frenzy of photo taking for next few days so that on Sunday I can sit down and decide which ones to put in and what messages to record. Off to Hobby Craft later to get some bits and pieces to decorate the Album with and hoping that the Princess Story Book we have order comes in time for us to take to MP on Tuesday. It's one where we can record ourselves reading the story and the FC is going to do jt every evening with her until we start intros.


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Are you doing a DVD too Miny Moo?

Paul x


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## Miny Moo

Pauliboo - they did say about doing a DVD, but to be honest I don't know where to start, we may just perhaps take a few short clips with our phones and maybe email them to FC, we will see what happens.


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## MummyPea

Meeting with our LOs FC & the medical adviser tomorrow! we've got a massive list of questions, hopefully we have time to ask them as we've been told the meeting is only for an hour. Doesn't seem very long to try and find out as much as possible about our child.

Early start. Leaving ours at 7.30am!!!!


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## Miny Moo

This time tomorrow we will be well on our long journey to get to Matching Panel, hardly slept last night and doubt I will get much sleep tonight, shall look like a wreck by the time we get there. 

You'd think it would be easier second time around, and incidentally it was 4 years yesterday we were at panel for our wonderful boy.


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## Wyxie

A wonderful feeling Brumming, so glad to hear things seem to be going well.



pauliboo said:


> We've managed to resist buying clothes, although we have put a few outfits on our wishlist for family to buy.


I am going to be a real party pooper here.

I would strongly advise against lots of new clothes at first. Familiar clothes are really comforting, to everyone. New stuff is nice, and exciting, but exciting to newly placed children can often be hard to cope with. I would strongly recommend making sure she has the basics she needs, and waiting just a little while after she gets home before putting her in new things, especially given her age. See what she's used to wearing, to make sure you don't put her in things that are completely different and which will then feel uncomfortable. At this time of year, the nicest things are often the really cosy ones, not the really pretty ones. Things like big snuggle suits (Mothercare do some lovely wadded all in ones) which might look a bit bulky, but feel absolutely wonderful to wear (and why don't they make them in my size?) can sometimes work better for what you want (it's cold, let's snuggle up and stay warm).

I think for new toys, outdoors stuff is great. Anything that is something you can do together. Wyxling coped so badly with having new stuff when she came we used to pretend stuff was mine, and I'd get it out and basically invite her round to play. Sounds crazy, but it's true.

I would definitely recommend anyone with placement at this time of year gets a sledge! You can never get a decent one when it snows, everywhere sells out and you just end up getting one in time for next year's snow. When the snow comes and you already have one (preferably big enough to squidge a grown up on at a push) you will be the coolest parent ever. 

Best wishes to all,

Wyxie xx


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## gettina

Good advice as ever wyxie. We have bought v little for that reason but soooo many people are asking about how much shopping we've been doing (as in, 'you must have bought sooo much stuff') I am almost starting to question our rather muted start to this element of preparing for parenthood. So it's good to have it reinforced. 

Good luck for a smooth and happy panel day Minny moo. 

How's it going Brummig? It's been lovely to read about you meeting your little red. I hope she's settling in nicely.

Pauliboo - those toys sound ace!

Jesp - how did your meetings go? Becoming even more real? Nice one in all the qs- I didn't feel like we had enough. 

Hope you are doing great summer girl - sending love.

Afu - we meet littleun tomorrow. I have been soo busy finishing work for the last week that apart from taking time out to fret about matching panel on wed I haven't focused too much on how this coming week is going to be and now feel pretty numb. Wonder how tomorrow will go. Apprehension is definitely stronger than excitement now for me though dh is v excited. Will update. Eeek
Gettina xxxx


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## Miny Moo

Gettina - enjoy meeting your LO today, will be thinking of you.

Couldn't agree more about not buying to many cloths, not only will they be much more comfortable in cloths they are used to, it maybe that they come home with loads of cloths anyway, our son did, and I find that I cannot buy him any cloths with out him being there as if he doesn't like it he just will not wear it!!!


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## summer girl

Miny moo, hope panel goes well today I'm sure it will, hope your long journey goes quick 😄

Gettina I expect you're probably awake too excited about meeting LO today, I'm sure it will be a day to remember 😄 let us know how it goes if you can. 

JesP how's you're meeting gone?

Pauliboo can't be long left for you now?

Brumming hope you're settling at home well. 

AFM well we've had LO home for a week today 😄 I'll have to say it's had its ups and downs, LO is generally a delight, but when grizzly is a force to be reckoned with doesn't want to be put down or held 😳 LO was sleeping through the night at FCs but has only slept through twice with us and I'd have to say the interrupted sleep is getting to me a bit, I've been up since 4.30 and have resorted to coming downstairs to rock to sleep in the pram, which has done the trick with LO after some milk and change of nappy, problem is that I'm now wide awake and find it really hard to get back to sleep. My DH is away for a couple of nights since last night (went after bedtime) and I have my MIL conf to help me, whilst I know I've got to do all the caring I'm hoping the distraction will be a help 😄. One thing I'd advise for those with younger children who nap during the day, try to ensure they get the sleep they need. LO fell asleep in car on the way back from shopping yesterday afternoon and only slept for about 25 mins. As a result was struggling to stay awake and we had had to bath and put to bed and was asleep by 6pm, was hoping that this didn't mean a really early wake up call but I was wrong!  We are generally having a good time but I have to admit there have been tears from me as it's soooo hard, I knew there would be sleepless nights of course but don't underestimate the toll this can take when you're not used to the disturbed sleep. The smiles and playtime during the day do make up for it though 😄 

Right I'm off to see if I can at last rest for a while before LO is awake again. Have a good day everyone xx


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## Flash123

Summer, sending you big hugs. I think in the early days the sleep deprivation was the hardest part by far. When you think of what they ve been through it hardly surprising they have disturbed sleep, bless them. I am sure eventually it will get better but i know that doesnt help how you feel now. keep doing what your doing and being their for him. One thing we really found that helped long term was we never took him out of his room when he awoke. It was bloody hard work but we bought a comfortable chair and it has been a godsend. I know some people disagree but I too rocked him back in my arms as I felt that was what he needed. When really upset our little man wants to be held but as soon as you pick him up he wants down. Strange isn't it? I've often wondered why this is. 

Regarding daytime napping, I know it's boring and restricting on you but i think day time naps are so underrated and not emphasised enough. I cant sing their praises enough. Our lo turns into a full blown monster if he doesn't have his naps and getting them to seep in night becomes so much harder. I truly believe sleep breeds sleeps.

Sounds like you are doing fab summer, enjoy xxxx


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## -x-Lolly-x-

Very much agree with Flash, once they are overtired they become wired and no matter how tired they are you struggle to get them down to sleep, cue tears and tantrums. Sleep deprivation is massively hard. When I'm tired I can't rationalise and it all becomes too much, even the smallest issues are disasters. Most of our days focus on when and where little pink will sleep. We've recently tweaked her routine by dropping a sleep but giving a much longer one straight after an early lunch. It works well, but of course you always get the unplanned sleeps like you said the car, and going off in the buggy. That can totally throw things and people just don't get how important it is for our babies (and their mummies) to function. So no real advice but loads of love to you, it's hard but you'll get there and establish your own routines that work for you as a family. Massive hugs  

Gettina have a truly wonderful day lovely


----------



## MummyPea

Hi!

Our meetings went fantastically! The FC was so lovely. You could tell when we went in that she really loves Little Pea and was a little worried about letting him go. However we let her ask us questions, told her all about our lives & our home and then asked her if she was happy to stay in contact with us. The moment we asked if she was happy to stay in contact with us in the future you could see her lighten and brighten up. We've been allowed to exchange emails and we're going to send FCs some photo's of our home for her benefit. 

She described him as a pickle who is into everything, very cheeky and willful. He doesn't like being told no but is very easily distracted if he starts getting upset. He can say 'cat' 'bird' and 'oh dear'. He's not walking properly yet but is cruising around the furniture. 

His SWs are being very sensible about introductions! We'lll do 4-5 days at FCs home and then he'll be coming here with FC. Little Pea will sleep at ours from the start while the FC stays at a hotel. She will help us do his routine in our home, doing less and less over the course of a couple of days.

Very very excited now. We went out a bought some clothes for him yesterday, in the next size up! 

He's coming with lots of toys so we'll not be buying any new ones for quite a while. We've got some toys already from when family and friends kids come over so we just won't get any new ones.

Panel in 6 days!!

Jes

xx


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## summer girl

Thanks x lolly x and Flash, appreciate the hugs, just been for a 50 min walk and he fell asleep 10 mins ago, let's hope he sleeps for an hour, he usually does if he's not disturbed 😄 you're right the sleep depravation is the hardest part. I've had a tummy upset for the last 3 days so am not feeling like eating which is not helping with my energy levels, I've had a slice of toast this morning and will try and have a snack with LO when he wakes 😄 I will perhaps try the early lunch and sleep straight after to see if that helps any 😄

Great news JesP, sounds like you have a great FC, I think it makes all the difference, the next 6 days will wizz by xx


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## Miny Moo

Just a very quick one as it's been a long day but we got a YES today at MP, very happy bunny's here tonight


----------



## summer girl

Congratulations Miny Moo so happy for you, roll on the intros 😊 xx


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Jes, I'm so glad that you got good FCs, it will make everything so much easier (well as it easy as it can be) for both of you.

and Miny Moo, a YES! Brilliant news.  I'm so pleased for you  

We still have our DVD and album to finish for next Tuesday, we had to postpone as DW had a very bad cold and didn't sound much like DW, so that's Friday's job.

Both DW and I finish work on Thursday, our last day, mine for 20 days (I go back in the new year for 7 days!) and DW's for over 12 months, jealous? me?

Paul x


----------



## gettina

Evening from a v happy Gettina - littley is perfect! A cute smiler boy. DH and I can't stop smiling ourselves. Up early to be across a fair few miles in rush hour tomorrow for morning routine. Bring it on. 

And so chuffed for you minny moo - well done to all the gang.

Pauliboo - sorry DW's not on top form but my word her finish date has come round so fast - and that is a great Christmas break you've got coming too!

Fab that the meetings were so positive Jesp - he sounds like a such a lovable little character. 

Wonderful to hear from you summergirl - it sounds wonderful though reading between the lines, a bit tiring - hahaha - you sound blumming shattered and I can't believe the timing of your DH's trip! Really hope LO has a good night some time v soon. Well done on coping - anything more is amazing.

gettina xx


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Sorry Gettina, I somehow missed you out of the personals, it seems I managed to skip a whole page whilst reading back!!

I'm so pleased intros are going well for you both, and hopefully it isn't too far to drive?  I know it's going to be hardwork physically for a few weeks, but I bet the smiles keep you both going, I know they would for me.


Just need to apologise for my reply the other day, the clothes we have on our wishlist are more like dressing-up clothes, we wouldn't dream to start dressing LO up like a doll in pretty girly clothes when she comes home.

We have been asked by FC to buy her a winter coat, but that's all - we know she likes pink but I think it will be more fun if she came shopping with us.

Love to you all xx


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## Miny Moo

What a lovely start to your intros Grettina.

Pauliboo - I learnt very early on not to buy any cloths at all for our son as if he did not like them he would refuse point blank to wear them and with everything else that was one battle just not worth taking on, also he came with so much stuff anyway. I will buy the odd little bit for our little lady but shall wait to see what she comes home with 1st.


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## summer girl

Gettina that's amazing news on your intros, so pleased that it's gone well, it's such a relief isn't it. I too hope you don't have too far to travel as this really can take it out of you. 

For those just approaching intros it might be worth asking what clothes LO will be coming with as ours came with none   when speaking to the FC she did say just bring down any clothes we wanted our LO to wear and I tried to say that I didn't mind if he wore the clothes she already had but she said she didn't have much only a few baby grows, so we went with a few clothes and when we picked him home to come back we didn't get anything bar the mattress and bottles which we'd specifically asked for and his hat as we'd forgotten to take ours! I know our FC said she kept a bank of clothes to fit the age range that she's approved for so I can't blame her for keeping her clothes as she probably hadn't bought them specifically for him. I was very lucky as my sisters some is exactly a year older so I have all of my nephews clothes 😄 hopefully most of you will get some clothes with your LOs 😄. 

Gettina you're right I'm absolutely shattered   he was awake from 2.38 to about 4.30 this moring, wife awake and nothing I did settled him, I think someone else said that they cry because they want you to pick them up and then when you do they want to be put down again, this is so true with my LO, in the end the numerous times of picking him up and putting him down and susshing worked and he fell asleep mid cry in my arms, I took the opportunity to slowly get into my bed and have a good old cuddle, he's very independent and likes to sleep by himself so it was lovely   I think as he was quite exhausted he managed to fall asleep at 10am in his cot where I'd only placed him with his milk whilst I had a quick shower, I'd love to try this tomorrow but I have the first LAC review at 10 so well have to see how it goes. 

The health visitor came today and was very pleased with his progress, she gave me some advise on food and sleep which was handy. Right going to finish my ice cream (naughty I know but I'm treating myself after all the sleepless nights  ) and I'm off to sleep. 

Have a good day everyone xx


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## Wyxie

So glad you had a wonderful first day with your little boy Gettina, lovely to read about.

Best wishes to everyone,

Wyxie xx


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## gettina

Thanks for the lovely messages all. 
In the interests of balance I can report this eve was one of my worst ever...
Wonderful, magic day. Loving him already. Los of lovely bonding play. Was even smugly thinking all was going rather well tbh. Then early eve we offered to cut his fingernails as he had scratched his face. Dh aimed a bit low on a nail and bl**dy well nicked a little bit of his finger off. Oh my god. It bled (dripping not gushing) for about an hour. He cried and cried and cried - understandably. When it became clear the advice from a nurse the FC knows and rang wasn't working I rang 111 and they said bring him in to a and e but it eventually stopped before we did so. (I would have rushed him there as soon as it happened but FC not keen). The FC had blood all over her blouse and some got on littley's stuff too. (We passed him to her as she was sure to be more comfort to him than us, dangerous amateurs.) I still feel physically ill now and so does dh. The poor mite was smiles again after a couple of hours, though had to go w/o his bath and was hours late for bed. We didn't leave until 9pm. And then, on the way home I found I'd missed calls and urgent emails from work - I'd forgotten to brief something fairly major in to my cover and it kicked off. Sh*t! Dh and I both cried on the drive home. 
Feel v emotional and guilty that after a few hours in our care we hurt him (well, dh did but I'm aiming for solidarity  ). 
Still.... looking forward to seeing him again in the morning - hope he still greets us with a big smile. Hope the FC hasn't given us up as a bad job. Need to sleep...
Speaking of which, hope any tips from the health visitor help summer girl.
Oh and something is going to get added to our shopping list as a result - baby nurofen. It seemed to take the edge of his pain quickly after being administered - with a syringe into his mouth. And our FC, who has been in this game for decades and knows her stuff, says it is better than calpol at bringing temps down and works on pain faster. So may be worth a place in the first aid kit. And you might ensure you have emery boards......
Gettina x


----------



## Brummig

Just a quick check in.  Little Red seems to be settling really well.  Thanks to our sw being ill, we had a full week with no visits, and DH has been home til now so we've been able to do our own thing. Her and Big Red are getting on ok,  she loves all the attention she's getting when we are out and about.  She's been very unhappy about my parents coming into the house, and it got that she cried even if we mentioned Grandma and Grandad, but we think that she's worried that she will be left again, and Grandma is just a word to her, as she was with FCs since 3 weeks.  We are giving lots of reassurance that we might sometimes go out without her, just like sometimes we go out without Big Red, but we will always come back, and we are trying various things the sw has suggested to get her used to them.  
We are making a few basic parenting errors - leaking nappies, forgetting to take a juice cup when we picked her up from fcs.  DH was horrified when bathing her one night to see small red things floating in bath and started to panic it was blood - it was fluff from her tights!

JesP - glad the intro's plan has worked out,  sounds like foster carers are being really supportive.

Summer girl - hope you get some sleep.  Big Red slept really badly and I remember how awful that was!  Try and take care of yourself, ask for help where you need to (can someone help with meals, washing?).

Hope everyone else ok.  Today is DH's first day back at work, so we'll see how that goes.


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## GERTIE179

Hi all,

Gettina - I did that with LO on first week of being home - AWFUL! But they get over it and so do you and DH as your confidence grows.

Brummig - I think little reds only been home a few weeks? My LO couldn't cope with anyone in the house for several months - even SWs & HVs I visited them when I could go minimise house visitors. It did work as he got more comfortable with his own house he understood who his family was. Other things that worked were a family picture frame so wee to round who's who (only close immediate family)and only letting us upstairs. If any if these are an option to try.
HTH x


----------



## snapdragon

Gettina I did the same thing while cutting Lo's nails shortly after he came home. I think I cried more than he did.  Hope you have a better day today.


----------



## summer girl

Gettina, I'm sure these things happen all the time, you're not the first and certainly not the last, I'm hoping you're having a great day today. I've had a full nights sleep and am feeling full of beans   he's been sleeping for 2 hours now as well and I'm desperate for him to wake up, poor chap can't win with me, when he's awake I want him to sleep and when he's asleep I want him to be awake


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## MummyPea

We just got the draft plan through. Only a couple of issues. They weren't giving us any time to come home before lo comes home with fc. We need to come home first especially for the cats and to make sure that the house is tidy etc. Fingers crossed they see sense.


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Hi Jes,

Thanks for that info, I didn't realise we should be seeing a draft plan of intros, I just assumed we would be told on the first day.
Hopefully your SWs will see sense and allow time, I'd have though one day in between would have been the minimum anyway.

I think I'm going to ask the question and see what the response is (I'll have to ask LO's SWs though as our's doesn't work Fridays!).

Paul x


----------



## gettina

Thanks so much snapdragon, summergirl and gertie  - for helping dh feel a slightly less awful. Little one's finger looks a bit mauled today but he's fine and we had a lovely day. My sw called this eve ahead of review of intros meeting tomorrow and I fessed up about the cut and she was v supportive. Littley was not his usual smiley self when we took him out for a walk as he's not used to going out. It was a sign of how different he might be out of his comfort zone of the FC house and at ours...still can't wait to have him here though. No doubt of the value of intros but just from my own pov I can't wait for him to be with us.

Haha summer girl - so pleased you've had sleep.

Yes Paul you should see a plan for intros in advance. 

And totally agree jes-of course you will want to be home before others arrive. Hope there's some flex in there.

Gettina xx


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## MummyPea

Hi!

Paul, we didn't know about the draft until Monday so it was a surprise to us too!

Thankfully our SW is very much of the opinion that we should be coming home first and that Little Pea should be brought to us, not us picking him up. She also isn't too impressed that they want us in the FCs home for 7 days!!! Hopefully common sense prevails.

FC is coming to stay near us for the second part of introductions, with Little Pea sleeping with us. For us and our SW it makes more sense for Little Pea to be at ours sooner. Also, how are we meant to get to know him in someone elses home for a whole week. It's going to be incredibly awkward!


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

JesP said:


> FC is coming to stay near us for the second part of introductions, with Little Pea sleeping with us. For us and our SW it makes more sense for Little Pea to be at ours sooner. Also, how are we meant to get to know him in someone elses home for a whole week. It's going to be incredibly awkward!


I'm impressed the SWs have agreed to do this, it does seem to be the most logical solution, yet that doesn't usually stop social services!

Luckily we don't live too far from FCs - although in traffic it could easily take more than an hour eachway, i'm getting anxious just thinking about it (Asperger's), knowing me we'll get there several hours early 

Paul x


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## Brummig

That's really good to hear JesP.  I hope it all works out for you.  We got our draft intro's plan a couple of days before the planning meeting -we had to fight for it but as we have a 10 yo with autism we had to have his care in place, and be able to go through it all with him. 
We also ended up with FCs coming to our house when we had been away for 3 days, but Mum had been here with son, and cats - Mum's great but she doesn't do cat litter!  

Hope you had another good night Summer Girl.x


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## summer girl

JesP That really sounds like a sensible plan, it's good to see the SW seeing sense for a change  

Brumming we're now 4 nights without waking up completely during the night, although he was awake at 5 this morning and I ended up giving him milk, he had a slight temperature yesterday evening so didn't eat all his dinner very well. He did however go back to sleep until 7 afterwards  

Hope all is going well with you xx


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## MummyPea

Eeek! We're at panel on the morning. Can't believe that after 20 months of waiting we're finally going to panel for our son. Going to try and get an early night as we have to be up and out first thing tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes! 

Xx


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## Miny Moo

Will be thinking of you tomorrow JesP, shall be look out for your big yes on here tomorrow x


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## summer girl

JesP I'm sure all will go well, good luck for panel xxx


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## Flash123

Best of luck for tomorrow jes xxx


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Good luck tomorrow JesP, I'm sure everything will go fine  

Paul x


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## gettina

I hope you are feeling amazing at this time tomorrow jesp. Good luck.

Good stuff summer girl. 

Afu, v tired of intros now and it's only been 6 days. Littley is awesome and it will all be sooo worth it but the FC is a bit of a bisom; we are fed up of pussy footing around her and being in her house for hours and littley was well out of sorts this eve and it was all so hard. Wonder if he is stressed and/or it was that his routine was out or something unrelated like teething.
He was at ours for some of today and will be for more of tomorrow though and hopefully here for good on tues. I am sure that will be stressful too but I think nicer than spending lots of our time in the car or at the FC house. 

Tip for intros - keep some food like crisps or nuts of whatever in the car. We have been dashing about from our house to FC, to shops, in. a cycle of rushing and found our chance to eat was in the car going between places. 

Best all,
Gettina


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## EverHopefulmum

Jesp.....I will be thinking of you today, goodluck at panel (not that you'll need it) & enjoy your celebrations, you deserve it. x


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## GERTIE179

Hey Gettina,

Totally normal for Los to get unsettled around this point. They pick up that something is changing and pick up on the emotions around them. Ours started being quite unsettled nx waking during the night from about day 2/3. We packed things like cereal bars and juice/water in the car and a packet of organic baby biscuits too just in case we got stuck in traffic and it was necessary for little man (our drop off was near dinner a good few nights).

Keep your chin up re FCs - it's not for long and littley will be home soon where you can start to really build your lives as a family and for Xmas x x x


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## MummyPea

Hi guys!

Well we got a yes but it wasn't a big fat yes. Panel was actually quite tough. The fixated on things like the fact I'm still overweight, we don't drive, we don't have experience of being parents (d'uh!), and that we're not hugely well off. Thankfully we have a fantastic social worker who fought our corner with passion. Out of 13 voting members, 12 were yes, 1 was no.

Just have to wait for the confirmation letter. Intro's start 7th January.

We're happy we got a yes but feeling slightly deflated today.


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

I'm sorry it was a tough one for you Jes, it looks like you'll get the decision ratified and then on to Intros.

Congratulations, you will be a mummy in just a few short weeks  

Paul x

09:30 for us in the morning!


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## GERTIE179

Aww JesP - that's rubbish. Normally MPs are a bit more easier with what they focus on. Sounds like that was all they could muster. Don't let it dampen your spirits. You're still a mummy to be ;-)
X x


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## Miny Moo

JesP- congratulations on getting a yes today, put it behind you now and concentrate on having a lovely Christmas together before your LO comes home.

Pauliboo- looking forward to reading you got a yes tomorrow.

Gettina- it just gets to a point were you just want to get on with it doesn't it, with our son we did the last few days of intros here, with him to and frowing between us and the FC at the hotel they were staying, we just wanted to get on with our lives and whilst he was a bit where am I going to be today, he needed them few days with them still around.


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## MummyPea

Thanks guys. Just trying to relax tonight. Been nice to tell our extended circle of friends what is going on. Can concentrate on Christmas now and then intros.

Xx


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## summer girl

Well done Jes, I think that was a bit mean of the person that said Jo, you wouldn't be at the stage you are now if your SW didn't think you'd be any good. Roll on Xmas and then your intros 😄

Paul good luck at panel tomorrow xx


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## gettina

Omg Paul that's come round fast -  

Jesp - when you're meeting your little one in the new year that panel won't matter at all except the positive outcome. We never got told the vote numbers at ours -who cares, it's a hurdle over. That said I'm sorry as it sounds v stressful. Great to have a passionate sw. Enjoy a relaxed, anticipatory (is that a word?) Christmas.

Our littley should be home forever by midday tomorrow. After a great, calm all day visit here today we are so happy.   

Gettina


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Thanks Gettina,

Yes it has come round rather fast  

We emailed LO's SWs regarding the panel questions last Friday and had a response yesterday, apparently they had sent our SW a list last Friday but as she doesn't seem to work Friday or Monday thankfully LO's SWs sent the list to us yesterday too!

Just to think we could have had all weekend to look at the questions, when if we hadn't emailed LO's SWs directly we would never have received them in time.

It's all good though as the questions aren't too taxing.

Getting a little nervous now, perhaps a final trip to the loo before we set off  

Will update later,

Paul x


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## mafergal

Good luck Paul x


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## MummyPea

Good luck Paul... Will  be sending you positive vibes! xx


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## EverHopefulmum

Jesp.....Major Congratulations, sorry it was a tough one but Gettina is exactly right - This time next year when your preparing to have your first family christmas do you think you'll even remember the vote count?.......no you won't!!!  You deserve this, and you will be great at it, I for one have no doubts - people don't love their parents less because they cant drive, or don't have huge amounts of money or any other pathetic reason cited - i mean seriously. Adoption doesn't just happen, you have to work hard and fight to get what you want and that says a a hell of a lot more about you than your waist size or your bank balance.....sorry rant over   . Enjoy every single second you can, because soon you won't have a second to think!!!


Pauliboo - goodluck today & I hope you have an easier time of things than Jesp   So glad you managed to get your list of questions in advance. I wouldn't have been happy if i'd got them at the last minute as i like to roughly prepare something in my head in advance to help me feel slightly more in control in out of control circumstances.


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Hi all and thanks for the good wishes.

We arrived in good time and went straight into an interview room for tea/coffee with FF and SWs.
They then talked us through how the meeting will go and gave us a folder which had photos of the panel members and a brief description.
They asked if the questions were ok - which they were, we didn't really bother prepping for them other than deciding which one of us would answer each of the 4 questions, and quickly jotting down some keywords "just in case" we got stuck.

Then the chairperson came into the room and repeated what the SW had said and asked for all the SWs to join him.
We waited around 30 mins before FF came out and asked us to join them.

I've got to say, after I had poured some water (not to drink, just distract) the nerves just disappeared and we both relaxed into giving our answers.
[list type=decimal]
[*]What was our experience of the Activity Day and what had attracted us towards LO and whether we have we considered any other profiles?
[*]How was the FC meeting? Were you satisfied with the other info given/medical?
[*]What will you envisage the challenges to be parenting LO?
[*]What are you most looking forward to as parents.
[/list]
Then they asked to see our photo album.

Then we all returned to the interview room, it really wasn't too long to wait, maybe 5-10 mins before the chairperson returned with our verdict!

Well, we got a unanimous YES!!!

and now we finally have the rest of her photos (from the Activity Day) and her DVD!!!

They have decided to push back Intros a few days and start on the 16th January lasting 12 days in total (2 days longer than original plan).
They won't start the pre-intro work with LO until January 3rd and so this has pushed intros back - no big deal, as long as that's what is best for LO, which I'm sure it is. It's best to get Christmas well out of the way before telling LO about us in more detail.

Thanks again for all your wonderful support, it really has meant the world to me and my darling wife (who lurks on here all the time, even prompting me to respond to posts!).

Paul x


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## MummyPea

YAY!!

Congratz to you and your wife! I'm glad your panel went well. 

xxx


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## summer girl

Well done Paul and your DH, the 16th will be here before you know it, what a fab Christmas you're going to have!


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## Miny Moo

Woo hoo, congratulations Pauliboo, the yes's are coming in thick and fast on this thread. Enjoy your Christmas, I know we will with the knowledge that our daughter will be soon with us xx


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## -x-Lolly-x-

Congratulations Paul! And Mrs Paul   Just think, this time next month you'll have met your daughter


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## gettina

Whoop whoop for pauliboo and mrs pauliboo well done - such a thrill for you! Pity to delay meeting her by even an hour but glad you are comfortable with the reason. 

And at our end, our son is home and I'm emotional about thinking he's asleep in the room next door. It's been a wonderful if at times tough day; mostly wonderful! 
We feel lucky.

Gettina x


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## EverHopefulmum

Congratulations daddyboo..........loving your new name too. So glad you had a smooth experience of matching panel. Now the count down begins to meeting your new daughter......has it sunk in yet, or does it seem like a dream


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## summer girl

Gettina congratulations on getting your LO home, I know what you mean about being emotional, I'd say be nice to yourself this week, I found that the first week was the toughest for us as it's all so new for LO. Hope you have a good week xx


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## Miny Moo

We got our ratification letter this morning, all very positive with a nice surprise that they are recommending that we receive an adoption allowence which we didn't expect but every little helps, also with a rather bizar recommendation that we change our LO name at a time that is suitable to her, we have no intentions on changing her name, she is 5 years old!!!!

We also have a date for intros to start now on the 30th Jan, was originally the 6th but like daddyboo (liking it by the way) we recognise this is in our daughters best interest and is good to see them putting the child 1st for a change, suits us to as gives us longer to get her room just right also means our son can have a some time back at school  after Christmas, and it gives us time to talk to the school get things put in place for her, we will not start her until after the Easter holidays now but hopefully do some visits between when she comes home and when she starts.


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## MummyPea

Yay Mini Moo! I don't think we'll get our ratification until after Christmas now. It's good they are giving you an allowance. We found out at our intros planning meeting we're getting a settling in grant which is nice. Not that we need it but we're going to put it away so we can have a family holiday later next year. The name change things is a little odd especially as she's 5... Though maybe they are talking about the surname?

I've spent today cleaning my oven... Which as I have a range cooker is an all day job. I think I'm starting to nest. Still feeling annoyed with the attitude of matching panel but there's not much I can do about that other than prove the single no wrong and be the best mummy for Little Pea. 

We have our family coming over on Sunday so they can see pictures etc. We've sent out an official announcement to family and close friends so they have his birthday and full name (minus birth surname). Our nursery is all done and we have a pram & highchair. Just got to go and get a car seat before intros start. Going to ask FC what one she uses so we can potentially get the same, or something similar!

It's all exciting 

xx


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## summer girl

JesP great news, not sure of the age of your LO, but if you need the 9kg-18kg then I can't recommend the maxi cosi axiss enough, it swivels round so it's really easy to get LO in and out. Kiddicare have it at a really good price and if you go through quidco you even get cashback 😄 xx


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## Miny Moo

JesP we are trying to decluter, was surprising what we had in one small bedroom!! The name change I think was about her 1st name as the ratifier had starred it and wrote on the bottom that she did not agree with it, it's by the by anyway because as I said before we won't be changing her 1st name.


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## MummyPea

Our little boy is 13 months old. I was looking at one of the car seats that last for longer as it's for mils car.

The name thing is odd miny moo. We're changing little peas middle name but not his first name. 

Having issues with los la at the moment. They want us to book our hotel, for them to pay back. The one they have suggested will cost £600 for the week and I want to double check before booking.  But they haven't got back to us yet.


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## Miny Moo

Luckily the FF is sorting all that out for as as did our sons FF when we did his intros, they are booking us a 3 bedroomed accommodation as we will have our son and my mum is also coming so that she can look after him on the 1st couple of days whilst we  visit on our own.

Our LO has a sting of middle names which we are hoping to change to just one of our own but we will be meeting the BM on the 1st day of intros so we shall ask her 1st what the significance was behind them and then decide on if we will change them.


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Thank you all for your kind messages, it hasn't really sunk in yet.

We've spent the last 36hrs running around and showing her dvd and photos to family who have been dying to see the dvd. We are just exhausted and really need to catchup on sleep.

As for car seats, I've been looking at them for the last 6 months and the one I think we will go for is the Britax Evolva 1-2-3 it was priced at £140 a few weeks ago and £105 last week but it's now down to £80!
Apparently our LO has grown out of her old one, so we want one that will last a while and this one fits the bill, good reviews too. http://www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_storeId_10001_catalogId_10151_productId_864295_langId_-1_categoryId_165554

We too are having two overnights in a hotel which we were told the LA would pay for yesterday, we then got an email this afternoon saying that as we are outside the mileage needed then we shouldn't have been offered the hotel at all!
Thankfully as it's their error they have agreed to pay for the one night, and we'll pay for the other.

We also get a small settling in grant of £250 to buy safety related items, that should pay for the car seat and a few other bits and pieces.

Another busy day tomorrow with Hydrotherapy for me and seeing a few more peeps, and then quiz night.

Hope you all manage to have a rest too.

Paul x


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## MummyPea

We should technically be coming home each evening as we don't live that far from LO's FC... However we don't drive it's it's over the other side of the Dartford Crossing from us so no public transport! I'm not that happy that we're doing an entire week at FCs. Even our SW thought it's crazy seeing as Little Pea is only 1. But it turns out it's to do with the fact there's another little one in placement, and FCs daughter is helping to look after that child during intros. It does make sense but it's annoying. We've had to fight our corner to come home the night before Little Pea comes home. They wanted my MiL to come and pick us, our stuff, Little Pea, his things and FC up to bring them to ours... In rush hour... Over the Dartford Crossing... We said no. So now PiL are coming to our hotel on the Sunday evening to pick up stuff, our SW is picking us up on the Monday evening and then FCs SW is bring Little Pea & FC to ours on the Tuesday morning.


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## Smudgey

Hi all !  Happy Christmas ! 

Not been on for a while , fab news for Paul and JesP  

Nothing really changed here , we have bought loads of stuff for little twinkle and we are very excited , just hope all goes to plan at MP  

We are changing LOs 1st name , but only on SW advice for security as it's v unusual xx


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## Miny Moo

Hope that you are all having a good Christmas, that all of you who have recently brought your little ones home have some good 1st Christmas Memories and those waiting, woo hoo, it's getting nearer for us all.

We have had some awful news a few days prior to Christmas in regards to our sons BM, we took advice from both our SW and his psychotherapist and have decided to break the news to him after Christmas, I honestly think it will be the worst thing we will ever have had to do. With that in mind we are so glad that our intros were put back until the very end of January as at least it will give us a few weeks with just us and him.

Enjoy the rest of the festive period, and here's to a good new year for all of us x


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## GERTIE179

Really sorry to hear that Miny Moo & hope you get through it all as best you can. X


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## Smudgey

Sounds serious miny moo , big hugs and hope you can get through it all ok xxxx


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## summer girl

Hi Minimoo big hugs for you all   I hope that your Christmas at least was a good one and that your son copes with the news as best he can.


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## MummyPea

Omg! We start introductions in a week. Trying to get ourselves as prepared as possible. Christmas decorations are coming down tomorrow so we can put out child gate etc. Any advice would be great!


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## Miny Moo

Get as much rest now as you can, and enjoy your intros, will look forward to reading your up dates x


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## summer girl

Hi JesP 

I'd advise making some good for you and your DH and freezing it, things that you might be able to easily defrost and eat with your son at mealtimes. If think about what you're going to have for lunch as well, I have to admit that I really hadn't thought about lunchtime food and even now struggle to make sure I have lunch each day, think ahead as to what you can prepare along side your sons lunch that you might be able to eat at the same time. Not sure if you've got the Annable Karmel baby toddler good book, but I went to the library and borrowed it, I also got a couple of books on what babies do at different ages which I've found really useful to refer back to. I've just borrow led from the library as I thought this was easier than buying a lot of books that might joy be any good. I'm sure you have all the practical things bought, washed and put away. I would advise having a stack of nappies and wipes upstairs and downstairs. I only have a changing may downstairs as tugs is mainly where do my nappy changes, I just use a towel upstairs. Not sure how you prepare yourself for this, but I found it really difficult to adjust to the interrupted sleep, I'm sometimes awake 2 or 3 times, either to sush or to make milk and it's hard to fall back asleep sometimes, which makes functioning normally the following day a real nightmare!  Hope this helps. Good luck for next week, after the initial settling in period it's amazing, we wouldn't be without our son for anything! X


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

We have had a rather strange day today.

We have spent the last 10 days travelling to friends and family in Lancashire, Essex and Suffolk to show them the DVD of our little girl, (and also of the DVD we did for her), we returned home on Sunday.
During our visits and on Christmas day we received the most loveliest pictures of our LO from her FCs, they have truly been amazing and so thoughtful.

We received a lovely email from FCs on Sunday saying they were excited about SW coming on the 3rd to start the process with LO.

Well, this morning we get a txt with a photo of LO watching our DVD from FCs!

It appears that the process to introduce us as her parents started yesterday instead of Friday.  We then received an email from her FF (about 10mins later) stating that the process has gone much better than expected and they would like to know if we can accommodate the Introductions coming forward by a week!

Apparently LO can't stop asking when she will meet us, when she will get to see her new bedroom, when she will get to play in her room, and play with everything around the house.  She loves 'Pinkie' in the DVD (the pink cuddly elephant are giving her) and has been trying to spot him through the DVD.  She had watched it back 3 times this morning (it's almost 10mins long too)!

The SW, FCs and FF all agree it's within her best interest to bring the Introductions forward a week.

The only fly in the ointment is we need to get approval from our SW that she is free on this day, luckily she is in the office on Thursday so we should find out this Friday whether we can go ahead or not.

So, now I have to change my countdown, it isn't 16 days until we meet her it's 9 days!!!  Intros should now start for us on the 9th January.

All I can say is Happy New Year to you all!! xx


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## summer girl

Wow Paul that's amazing news, what a great start to 2014 for you, Happy New Year x


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## gettina

Thrilling Paul. To think your little one is now as excited about meeting you as you are about her!!! Ooooh. Goose bumpy! 
Gettina xx


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## Miny Moo

Oh my goodness daddyboo, it's all happening at a 100 miles an hour for you, makes a change for things to be brought forward rather than back.


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

We just received another photo from FCs with a pic of our LO asleep on the couch with our photo album on her knee.


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## Smudgey

Ahhhhh Paul that's amazing , bet you are so excited ! 

I have 9 working days left ! Omg ! We have been putting all LOs clothes away in the wardrobe and washing them all , it feels very surreal ! Xxx


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## MummyPea

Ratification letter arrived this morning!  Now I feel like I can get excited


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## summer girl

Great JesP, when do your intros start?

Smudgey not long now 😄 I found the last few days at work very sureal was so excited about finally being a mummy and couldn't wait for work to finish 😄. Hope your last few days go quickly and you have some nice things planned with your colleagues. 

Paul that's great news about the photos, this is a special time, try and get as much sleep as you can and make and freeze some food as this will really help with the first few weeks.  

Have a great day everyone xx


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## MummyPea

Hi.

We start introductions on Tuesday. Travelling over on Monday night so we're ready to go first thing. I'm starting to train my body clock so I can get up early. 

Xx


----------



## Miny Moo

JesP - Tuesday will be here soon enough, 4 yrs on with our boy and I have never gotten used to the early mornings, before he came home I used to work mainly nights to avoid having to get up early!!!!

Looking forwRd to hearing all about your intros x


----------



## Brummig

Wow Paul and Jesp - can you believe you're nearly there now!  

Summer Girl has given lots of very good advice about meals and things - do it as much as you can before!  Think about some really quick lunches, like Summer Girl I struggled to get anything to eat or drink on the couple of days DH has not been here.  We need to do a freezer restock this weekend before DH goes back to work!

We also change Little Red downstairs most of the time, so even though we have a changing table in her room (it was Big Reds before) its been used as a shelf and we keep a stock downstairs. This is carrying on what the foster carer did, and its keeping her association that her bedroom is where she sleeps, which I think is important for this age.

For intros - have snacks and drinks and a change of clothes with you.  We were fortunate FCs were great and gave us lots of coffee and toast.  The days we came home we had something in our slow cooker, and we cooked at the cottage we rented so we ate quite well during intros which helped us all feel better.

Take lots of notes about what FCs do, eg rhymes or songs, do they sing a silly song when getting ready for bath.  Its the small details that help, eg Little Red likes to carry her bottle from kitchen, and take lid off in sitting room, and afterwards has to put lid on and off a few times - she gets upset if lid is not there, but we would never have worked that out!  She likes Round and Round the Garden but she does the first part on her own hand but you have to tickle her - doesn't like it any other way.

Look forward to hearing how it goes next week!


----------



## Flash123

Brummig, our little man is does the same thing with his bottle lid. He has to take it off and then when he's finished he loves putting it on, taking it off, putting it on, taking it off. He laughs from his belly each time. It's so funny to see. Funny little things aren't they! 

Good luck Paul and jes. Wonderful, wonderful times lay round the corner for you both xx


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## Miny Moo

4 years ago today our lives changed forever, it's been a hard 4 years yet the best 4 years, it certainly has been that clique that every ones seems to use where adoption is concerned a proper roller coaster, we wouldn't change our boy for the world though and we know that in 3 weeks and 6 days he is also going to be the best big brother ever.

To all of you who have just met your LO and to all those about to meet your LO, I hope you get as much out of your new family as we have from ours xxx


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## MummyPea

Holy Carp Batman!

By this time tomorrow we will have met our little boy!!!! Strangely I'm calm at the moment, though I think once we're in the hotel tonight that may change. I'll try and keep everyone up to date on our week but I'm sure you'll understand if it's not on my mind lol.

TTFN!!

xx


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Good luck Jes for tomorrow (not that you'll need it) and Miny Moo, congratulations on 4 years I'm sure your son son will be the best big brother your LO could ever have.

We have had to move the introductions back a day due to SW schedules, so instead of having the inter-agency and first Intro on Thursday, we will just be having the meeting on the Thursday, but we finally meet our LO this Friday!

My poor DW hasn't been sleeping very well for the last week with all the stress and pressure but hopefully when her mum arrives at ours on Thursday she will begin to relax.

Paul xxx


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## MummyPea

I know how your wife feels Paul! I've got so much going through my mind it's hard to sleep. Only thing that helps is not having caffeine and a nice relaxing bath in the evening before bedtime.

Hope your first day goes well 

xx


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## EverHopefulmum

Goodluck to both Jesp tomorrow and DaddyBoo on Friday....so excited for you both x


----------



## gettina

Giddy for you jesp!
Sending love 
Gettina


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## EverHopefulmum

Just phoned SW and got confirmation we are booked in for matching panel on 10th Feb.....a week later than we originally hoped so a little bit miffed because i just want my LO home now, but i guess the time will pass quickly (only 35 days & counting). Turns out she knew dates before christmas and seemed surprised I hadn't been told yet....not sure who she though was gonna tell me other than her!


Anyhow she is working on a rough intros plan, but needs to check a few things with LO SW before she will share with us. Will be mega excited to see that, hope its soon. 


Hubby still on the "be cautious square" saying he won't believe LO is ours until after MP, but I'm dancing around all positive which is a complete role reversal compared to AP!


----------



## Smudgey

Good luck JesP ! Xxxxxxx


----------



## Miny Moo

Woo hoo, today's the day JesP, enjoy every minute of it and don't forget your camera, we took ours and didn't take any pictures on the 1st day as I think we were so over awed at the time, big regret now.

Best of luck to you xxxxx


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## MummyPea

Have now met my son and he is gorgeous. He was being a bit shy and clinging to his foster carer. But he was playing with us for a little bit and hubby got a brief lap sit. Now having a break for lunch before going back later


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

I'm glad it's going well Jes, I'm a bit jealous of your Intro timetable though.

FC's house is about an hour's drive from us, so add 2 hours travel-time to each of these days...

Day 1:  10:00-11:30 (1hr30) - Meet LO and play
Day 2:  10:00-14:00 (4hrs)  - Spend time with LO and Observe Lunch routine
Day 3:  11:00-19:00 (8hrs)  - Undertake Lunch routine and Observe Tea-time & Bed-time routines
Day 4:  07:00-14:00 (7hrs)  - Observe Morning routine and Undertake Tea-time & Bed-time routines
Day 5:  12:00-19:00 (7hrs)  - Undertake Lunch, Tea-time & Bed-time routines
Day 6:  07:00-14:00 (7hrs)  - Undertake Morning routine and go out for Lunch
Day 7:  Rest Day including a Phone Call with LO
Day 8:  12:00-19:00 (7hrs)  - Review, and then Undertake Tea-time & Bed-time routines
Day 9:  10:00-13:00 (3hrs)  - Our Home, Undertake Lunch
Day 10: 09:00-19:00 (10hrs) - Our Home, Undertake Lunch, Travel to FC Home and Undertake Tea-time & Bed-time routines
Day 11: 10:00-19:00 (9hrs)  - our Home, Undertake Lunch, Tea-time & Bed-time routines then return to FC's Home
Day 12: Placement Day 

We are going to be emotionally and physically drained by the end - and then we have a Lo to look after instead of trying to catch up on sleeping


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## GERTIE179

Pauliboo - ours were similar to hours but for a few days longer and no rest day. They were truly exhausting but oh so so worth it! Eyes on the prize :->

Jes - glad your first meeting went well with your beautiful boy x


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## Flash123

Pauli - ours too were very similar. It was approx 1 hr each way and somedays it was FC first thing to pick up little man and then returning him at night so somedays we did the journey 4 times. They lasted  9 days with no rest day. Nearly all of the last 5 days were 7/8 till 7/8. Then we brought home a baby who really didn't fancy sleeping much...nightime or day! But would I do it again...in a blink of an eye and 10 times more. As gertie said, exhausting but oh so worth it.

Jes - congratulations, today was the 1st day of the rest of your life as a family. Wonderful xx


----------



## GERTIE179

Good luck Miny moo x


----------



## MummyPea

Back at the hotel now. Lovely afternoon session. I got some lovely cuddles from little pea. He also sniffed dhs feet... I also got a headbutt in the nose which is resulting in a black eye lol.

but still smiling so must be love. Hubby is 100% smitten.


----------



## summer girl

JesP so pleased that your first morning went well 😄 so for no other personals tonight need to go and get an early night!


----------



## gettina

Hi all
Jesp am sooo pleased you and dh are smitten. Wonderful start. Good luck with the rest of intros. 
Paul it's full on and I frankly hated intros - tiring and not at all keen on FC - but thought I'd let you know that while I couldn't believe we would get no rest after them when the time came that we brought littley home, it felt so relaxed compared to intros that it was kind of restful - relatively! 
Minny moo - horrible. Hope sharing the info has gone as ok as possible.
Hope it's going really well at your end summer girl.
Glad you are excited ever hopeful - hope jan flies by for you!

It's three weeks today that we brought littley home and it has flown. He is such a love; always looking for a giggle and a connection with us about something fun. He got bought so many Christmas presents (which I was relieved about, having read some posts about a lack of excitement from some adopters' friends and families) but his fave thing is playing with a balloon that decorated my baby shower from my lovely local FFers - his giggle when being boinged on the head makes my day.
Hope eveyone else is or becomes as happy.
Gettina x


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul)

The rest day is there so LO can say goodbye to her foster family and extended foster friends, she has been with FCs for almost 4 years, so she will leave a big hole there.

The day will also help me and my disability, the intros will put my body through a very stressful time especially with the long days and driving at each end - driving is really bad for my back at the moment.

Not long to go now, only two more (half) days at work...


----------



## MummyPea

Morning!  Well I've woken up with a black eye lol.

Paul, our time line is slightly different to normal as we don't drive and little pea is only one. We have five full days with a half day on Sunday. Pea will be at ours from Tuesday. 

Very excited to get back to little pea this morning. 

Xx


----------



## GERTIE179

Aww Jes - you've got your first mummy wound ;-)
Pauliboo - the rest day is good. It's normally used for Los who are old enough to get the concept and you're still speaking to her so I think its perfect. Glad you will get done rest and hopefully you don't have much planned for this day. Don't put yourselves into too much pressure to update everyone, by day 3/4 I think if dropped to a round robin text as DH drove home. We also took turns driving if you can that helps too as you can try and ease your back too.
X x


----------



## -x-Lolly-x-

Congratulations Jes   have a wonderful day, black eye and all...!

We also had just over an hour each way to travel. The journey was 40 miles each way and by day 4  when we were doing the trip twice and 160 miles each way I felt it was quite dangerous. So just be careful and take it very steady. One particular trip home after dropping little pink off I missed an exit, ran a red light and then after arriving home in one piece stood at the front door pretty much comatose waiting for it to open... The keys were still in the ignition! Not good at all and not safe. Take energy drinks and snacks like bananas and steady away xxx


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## GERTIE179

Gosh Lolly - I agree tho there is little thought about the impact on us with these type if schedules. If it were work h&s would be all over it. Just the hurdles we face to get our treasures home. 
X


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## Flash123

You are so very right. what we are put through during intros is exceptionally unnatural and utterly exhausting. You just have to do what ever it takes to get you and your family through it - and that is blinking tough at times! Intros completely messed with both mine and dh's heads. So much so we questionned if it was the right thing to do and considered pulling out half way through. My stomach does flips when I think about how close we were to pulling out - thank god we didn't.

Enjoy today jess, good luck mini moo and pauli, make the most of this time to catch up on rest because very soon it will a thing of the past      xxxxx


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## scoobydooby

Yes Intros are tough but if anything they prepare you for all the years ahead, because you can forget any chance of a rest once your little one is home!    And to be fair, in my opinion, its a lot tougher for the fc's than for the adoptors.

Ours lasted 11 days, should have been longer but it all went much better than expected so home date was brought forward. We had an hours drive each way and 5 of the days were spent doing 2 return journeys. Our days were full on, except for the first day which lasted only 2 hours, usually from 7.30am until 7.30pm at night with the driving time on top of that. We also had no rest day.

Think of whats coming at the end of it, its soooo worth the hard work  

We are now going to be doing it all again, but this time with our lo in tow  

Good luck to you all and enjoy it!


----------



## Milly28

Hi everyone,
I hope you don't mind if I can join this thread...I have just found it.
Just a brief story about me and dh, we were approved in June 2013 and went to MP in July 2013 and our beautiful daughter came home at the end of July just before her second birthday.
She has a baby sibling and we went to MP in December and we start our intros this Friday,we are very excited and nervous.
It's going to be harder this time round with LO in tow! We have got to travel a long way with a two night stay, then FC will bring LO up to us on Monday and be with us for 5 days, official handover date next Friday.
Intros only a week long but it's going to be hard but we can't wait to get stuck in and to meet our son.
Sorry if it's been a bit of a me post, I hope everyone is getting on well with their intros...very exciting times


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## summer girl

Milly, welcome and good luck for Friday, I guess you know what's in store as you've been through it before, not long now, I expect you're very excited 😄


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## Miny Moo

Tomorrow's the big day for both Daddyboo and Milly28, enjoy your 1st meetings, looking forward to hearing all about them x


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## Flash123

1 more sleep daddy boo and milly wooooooohooooooooo.
Good luck for tomorrow, hope all your dreams come true xxx


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## summer girl

Paul only one more sleep for you and your DH, enjoy the last peaceful night you'll have for a while 😄 I'm sure you're going to have a fab day tomorrow xx

Miilly same sentiment to you, I'm sure it will be a fab experience for your whole family xx


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## MummyPea

Paul good luck for your intros tomorrow. 

We are bonding well. Little pea has started looking to us for comfort and I seem to have a gift for getting him to sleep. 

Didn't want to leave him tonight! !


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## Smudgey

Aww JesP that's great news eeek !!! 

Good luck to you both for tomorrow


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## EverHopefulmum

Goodluck Daddyboo & Milley28 .....thinking of you both today, I'm sure it will be an amazing and emotional few days, can't wait for an update.

Jesp - so glad things are going well, you must be on cloud nine seeing his attachment transfer to you. How long are your intros planned for?

AFM - we had our meeting with FC yesterday, which was great, if not a bit more emotional than i was expecting. Got to see a short video of LO which, if i'd been on my own or with just DH would have had me in floods, but managed to hold it back.....just. Also got to see a draft for our intros - lasting 12 days which was longer than i was expecting for an 11 month old, as originally advised 7-10 days but having said that, whatever is right for the child I guess. Nothing on it looks too bad & we are only 30-40 mins drive from FC, so i think we will have it relatively easy compared to others.....Paul's looked totally exhausting. 

Thinking of you all.
Everhopefulmum x


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Just wanted to pop in before we set off to say thank you for all your good wishes, I haven't managed to get on the forum much this week as I've had a really bad sleeping pattern (4-5hrs per night).

That and I've also been working 07:00-16:00 every day this week, I'm very used to getting to places for 07:00, what I don't enjoy is only getting to sleep after midnight.

I'm such a light sleeper, that I heard my MIL wake up and go to the loo twice last night (she's staying with us this weekend to help finish off our jobs [tidying/cleaning]).

We went to quiz night at the local last night and managed our highest score ever 37/40, which was a nice way of rounding them off until we can find a babysitter in a few months time.

The inter-agency meeting went well yesterday and overran by 30mins, it was nice to see FC again and find out about the next few week's proceedings. FC said that LO is very anxious to meet us, everyone who knocks on there door she thinks is us.

Good luck to Milly today, I'm sure you'll love it.

I'm not an emotional bloke at all, but today, I'm pretty sure I'll have tears - I'm trying to hold them back now as I've got a bit of driving to do!

See you all later,

Paul x


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## GERTIE179

Good luck Paul & milly

Jes - sounds like you are getting on great and starting to build the bond & trust
X


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## MummyPea

Today is going well. Little pea is having a nap. 

We're here until Monday and then Tuesday he comes home 

We've been to the park today and had our first trip to a restaurant.  Mummy and daddy had bacon sarnies while pea had toast. He's now been napping for an hour. I think he may be a mummies boy lol.

hint for those about to start introductions... do some weight training! hubby and I have muscles aching in places we didn't know we had muscles!


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## EverHopefulmum

Wow Jesp, so pleased that it's going well....and seems to be going quick if you bring him home next tuesday....can't stop thinking this will be me next month (fingers crossed).


We saw a draft of our intros timetable, which people may find good reference. As a guide LO will be 11 months when we bring hime home:


Day 1: 45 minute quick initial visit at FC house. This is then followed shortly                      afterwards by an Intros planning session at the SW office, but not what for            or for how long for....if anyone could let me know what to expect it would be          appreciated.


Day 2: Another short visit at FC, this time 90 minutes.


Day 3: Visit for 3.5 hours at FC house including observing lunchtime routine and a              visit to the park with FC.


Day 4: Visit for 2 hours at FC house. Give LO lunch and then visit to park without the          FC.


Day 5: Morning FC to bring LO to our house & stay for 1 hour. Afternoon us to go to          FC to observe night time routine.


Day 6: Morning off. In the afternoon, FC to bring LO to our house and then leave for          2 hours before returning to collect him.


Day 7: Morning, FC to bring LO to our house and then leaves after 10 minutes. We            give LO lunch and then take him back to FC house late afternoon.


Day 8: Morning, We pick LO up from FC house and spend 5 hours at home, then                take him back to FC late afternoon. We perform his evening routine & put              him to bed.


Day 9: Review first thing in the morning. Followed by picking up LO from FC and                spending the bulk of the day at our before taking him back to FC house.


Day 10: Pick him up from FC and spend the 4 hours with him, before returning him              to FC.


Day 11: Placement Day, arrive at FC early to load car with all LO possessions and                make a quick exit so as not to prolong the goodbyes. Come home as a                  family   


Day 12: SW visit us at home.


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## EverHopefulmum

Whoops, worry about the formatting of the last post. it looked fine on my screen!!


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

The planning session is to go through everything in the intros to make sure you and FCs are ok with the timings of the events - we made a few tweaks to ours and so did FC.
They also sort out the fees that the placing authority are paying your agency and they will also talk about paying you expenses and how to claim them back - we hadn't realised we would get fuel paid for, that's an extra £170 in our pocket.

They'll then talk about your responsibilities once LO is placed with you, think education, medical issues, holidays, etc and also when you will receive the important documents like LO's Red Book (medical), Passport, Birth Certificate, any other items.

Hope that helps, and wow your Intros are very similar to our's - I had thought our's were ok due to our LO's age, but it seems a bit daft to do all that with a young 'un.

Paul x


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## GERTIE179

Hi Ever,
The planning meeting is normally to discuss the plans and adapt as necessary. The schedule is quite similar to ours except it was longer and we had putting down/getting LO from nap at FC's and baths etc. our meeting discussed if we had any appts that we needed to fit in and same for FC as they had BC, were there any planned medical appts for LO etc did both SWs support the plan or did they suggest changes - ours made suggestions in our favour and raised some valid points like weekend support given the timing of ours and respite being sorted for other Foslings if necessary
Hope this helps


----------



## Brummig

Its interesting to see how different authorities do it differently.  We had planning meeting on the thurs, but were absolutely not allowed to meet LO her that day, we couldn't meet her til the Monday which was really hard. Check at planning meeting how and when you claim expenses.  It might feel mercenary but including the settlement grant we are claiming over £1300 and we've had to do a lot of chasing around to find the form and who to send it to.  That money will buy lots of lovely things for LO.
Like you Paul we had a lot of travelling which was exhausting, and we had Big Red at home to see to as well.  In some ways intros were harder than when she came home, as we had all the travelling (often in rush hour), the weirdness of being in someone elses house )even though our FCs were lovely, trying to keep things on track at home.  
We picked up most of Little Red's things the Mon and Tues before she came home on the Wed, so it was as quick as possible when we she came with us for good.  We had the review meeting on the Mon at FCs then took her out for the afternoon, we were meant to put her to bed that night, but you could tell she was so confused about who to go to when we were back at the FCs it was heartbreaking.  We agreed with the FCs that we would go at 6 and let them bath and put her to bed.  It was still gone 8pm when we got home though, and next day we were at theirs for 8.30 to pick her up and bring her back to ours for the day, then return and put to bed - over 200 miles in total, home at nearly 11pm.  Up at 6 next morning to collect her at 9am.  Most of her stuff was just dumped in her room as we had no chance to sort it out!  Her first full day at home we had to get up and get Big Red to school, but I think having that structure helped us all those first few days.  The plan should be flexible, and generally you can sort some things out with FCs when you get into it.
JesP - completely agree about the weight training!  My back and arm muscles are constantly aching as she wants to be picked up and carried and I thought I was pretty fit!

One month review yesterday.  All fine.  After initially being a little concerned about people coming in, Little Red soon settled (there were only 3 people and 2 of them she has met a few times recently) and was on full showing off mode by time they left. 10 mins later she fell asleep standing up head on DH's knee!

Stay strong guys.


----------



## EverHopefulmum

We meet our LO's FC last week....such a great, yet emotional meeting.


She seems amazing and clearly has done such a great job to date, I felt totally intimidated & hubby commented later that he was surprised how quiet i was, he thought he'd struggle to shut me up! I don't know why, but i hadn't thought it would be so emotional.


I just hope i can do such a good job as her. At one point she had a little cry and it was just awful that my overwhelming happiness is coming off of the back of her heartbreak. I know it's her job, but it must be so hard for her to prepare to say goodbye.


She even gave us little gifts and had bought more photo's of LO & a small video, which were amazing. Can't believe i still have to wait 4 weeks until MP and 6 weeks until I meet him....don't know what i'm going to do with myself.


Anyway this week we are meeting the medical advisor, we aren't expecting anything significant to rise, so hope it will be an uneventful meeting.....just counting down the days until we become a family xxx


----------



## Flash123

Ever, I found the whole fc experience so hard and feel we weren't prepared enough for that aspectof adoption. As you say it's their job but I felt so guilty for a long while. They clearly loved little man so much and he was blissfully happy with them too. He was 8 months when he came home and he definitely grieved for them.
It sounds like things went really well for you and I promise those weeks will fly by. Before you know it, your treasure will bein your arms xxx


----------



## Brummig

reading about all you intros - some lovely stories.  They are such hard work and it sometimes is hard to see how they will ever come together.  Sitting here now, my little girl asleep on my lap after doing our first music group.  feels like she's been here forever....it was all worth it.


----------



## lynsbee

Hi 
I can't remember if I have posted on this thread before, but have been having a little read through the last few pages and thought I would pop by and say Hello!!!
Lovely reading about all the intros etc. We have matching panel on the 20th Jan and should have planning meeting and meet LO 3rd Feb. All being well on the 20th I actually only have 12days left at work before going on leave.....


----------



## MummyPea

Quick update!

Little Pea came home today!!! He traveled with his FC to ours this morning. Had a nap and tea here etc. Has now finally gone to bed. It's harder when FC is in the room as he's conflicted as to where he should be going to for care. When she's not there, he's very much attached to us. I actually asked her to leave this evening as he was clearly distressed! thankfully my SW agrees with me.

So now my lovely little boy is asleep in his bedroom. His mummy is going to brush her teeth and then go read in bed for a bit.

 xxx


----------



## Miny Moo

Aaaaarrrrggggg, intros put back yet another week, start 7th Feb now!!!!!


----------



## EverHopefulmum

Jesp.....so pleased he is home. Must be so difficult managing the FC as well LO. knowing me i'd say nothing & then chew DH ear off once she left!

Minymoo - sorry to hear about your delay - did they say why?

Daddypaul...i'm loving hearing about your intros - it's making me quite emotional, so i dread to think how you & your wife are feeling x

AFM - we have panel set for 10th Jan and intros from 24th.......literally counting down the days until i meet him...it seems the hardest wait yet! 

Our new SW errs heavily on the side of caution & keeps telling us to rein it in! She has advised us not to tell anyone, including our parents until after panel & i'm finding it soo hard....you guys are the only ones who know & i want to shout it from the rooftops!

When did other people tell, who did they tell? & did they have problems containing other people? My DH is worried if we tell then our parents will either get over anxious before panel (both are mums were literally sick in the run up to AP) or despite us telling them not to will spread the news with the old "you didn't hear it from me" line - not through malice, just through excitement. Although we definitely won't be sharing any confidential info with them as i don't feel thats fair on LO, I want them to be completely untainted in families eyes. I'm really torn what to do.

We keep getting told - protect yourself, it could still all go wrong......it's making me feel very anxious! Surely, surely it must be only a very small proportion of people who get a no at MP.

x


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Congratulations JesP, I'm so glad your LO has finally come home. We have been lucky and our FCs have been brilliant and let us get on with everything.

Miny Moo I'm so sorry to hear they have delayed intros, I hope LO's prep is going to plan?

Ever, you need to let someone know as it gets very stressful and emotional, I'm surprised SW wants you to push away your support group like that, you need them this side of panel as well as when LO comes home.

We are currently sat in the car whilst LO watches the BFG on the I car DVD player we have - you really need one of these if you want a quiet journey.

We have the review after lunch and then rest day tomorrow, look out for my write up sometime soon.

Paul x


----------



## gettina

Get on the blower ever! I agree, v rare to get a no at mp. And you may not have a long time to prepare family after mp. 

Great that intros are going well Paul.

Woohoo jes p - enjoy these special times.

I'm sooo sorry Minny - argh. 

Life's great here! First lac review went fine, but more importantly littley is fab day in day out.

Love to all 
Gettina


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## Smudgey

We had SW visit yesterday and all is going to plan , I have my last day at work tomorrow eek !  Work bought me some chock , prosecco , and a whicker basket full of things for LO which was fantastic !! 

JesP , it's gone so quick , can't believe LO. Is home ! 

Paul , love reading your posts , sounds like LO. Is bonding and getting to know you both really well xx 

gettina , glad your review went well ! 

Minny that's a nightmare , did they say why huni ? 

Everhopefulmum - we have told friends and family as SW have said it's very rare a MP doesn't go to plan , FC has even started to call LO by her new name we have picked ! 
We start our intros same day as you )))


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## EverHopefulmum

Thanks Smudgey...things must be getting very "real" now work is finishing! Goodluck, I will be thinking of you.

We are in the same boat re LO's name....we got to choose a new one as original name very distinctive. Our suggestion was discussed with everyone including FC and agreed she would go home and start using it immediately. Subsequently had an email from her to say it's going well and fits him perfectly (yeah). Surely they can't have let that happen if they don't think things will be ok at panel?  I know approval panel is about 94% yes (according to first4adoption website), just wish i had any idea about matching panel.

We think we are going to tell our parents this weekend, oh and just one friend as she is heavily pregnant with second child and asked us to be on standby for taking her eldest daughter when she goes into labour......she is due right in the middle of intros! But,we keep going backwards and forwards on what to do...barely slept for last two nights thinking about it which is ridiculous as there are so many other major things i should be stressing about!!!!

Take care all x


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## MummyPea

Thanks all! We can't quite believe introductions are over. Today is placement day so now we're on our own other than weekly visits for the first 4 weeks. 

Having an issue with LOs SWs though. They are very very old school and want us to stay away from people for 8 weeks!!! Our SW is far more realistic and has asked that we keep people in the house to just a few people (hubby's parents mostly). My sister is getting married next week and they don't want us to take him. Our SW has no issue as long as we're sensible, ie not staying for the evening.

No one has even praised us three for how well it's gone. He is very much attached to us all ready, even though it's still in the early stages. 

He's napping now so better start geting lunch sorted


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## Twinkie

Congratulations JesP, enjoy your time getting to know your new son! Sounds like it's going really well. Our new LO was given the book we had prepared for him yesterday evening. His foster carers called to say that he is so excited and he couldn't wait to go to school today to tell all his friends about his new family! I'm so excited about intros starting tomorrow now!


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## Smudgey

Unanimous approval at match panel  

It was much nicer than approval panel , and I cried when they gave us the decision ! 
Intros start Friday after inter agency meeting, and LO should be home Friday 31st eek !!!!


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## gettina

Wonderful smudgey, congratulations.
It's going to happen so fast now! 
Whoo hoo
Gettina


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## Miny Moo

Congratulations smudgey, and not long now for intros.

I have to confuse to getting slightly jealous that we had our MP back at the beginning of Dec, and all you lovely lady's and gent, seem to have had yours after ours, and all getting to meet you little ones and we still have until the 7th Feb to go


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

That's brilliant news Smudgey, I hope FC aren't too far away/your going to a hotel as all that travelling is exhausting.

Make sure you have lots of ready-meals ready for the week, as the last thing you want to be doing is cooking when all you want to do is sleep.


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## Smudgey

Well we met little twinkle today .....omg amazing , LO is gorgeous and more so than the pics , very smiley , happy , we sat on the sofa and she ventured over after about ten mins and grabbed my handbag then pulled herself up on me and by the end of the few hours me and DH were on the floor playing with her she was saying ba baba back to me , she is soooo cute , can't wait to go back tomorrow


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## Miny Moo

Fantastic smudgey, enjoy the rest if your intros.

FC sent us an email earlier to say that our photo album has gone down well with our LO, she particularly likes her new big brother and loves listening to daddy introduce himself, but did find his pictures bit scary, hubby always looks rather stern in photos, so this evening have emailed her a couple of very rare smiley photos of daddy.

We are also going to attempt to make a DVD in time for our planning meeting on Thursday, are going to try and make it a fun video, with a happy smiley daddy.


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## daisy0609

Hey guys. We go to the MP on the 13th of Feb but have no idea when the intros are likely to start . Have seen on here that some of you got a draft plan but I've not heard anything I have emailed LO's SW and our SW but haven't heard anything yet. Did everyone get one?


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## Macgyver

Hi daisy

We got ours after matching panel. We had the introduction planning meeting right afterwards. This is were our sw, FC, lo sw and us all sat down and went through the planned schedule for introductions. This is also when we gave our lo FC his tomy book, blanket, DVD and teddy.


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## daisy0609

Aaahhh then not too long to wait then only 10 days Thanks Macgyver!


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## Flash123

Daisy, we had ours the first day we met little man. We met him for an hour or so in the morning, then went to the planning meeting with all sw and fc. they gave his birth certificate, medical card and all things like that. They also ran through our responsibilities and then it was back to FC for the rest of the day. 
HTH


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

Hi Daisy,

We were given a provisional date for Intros to start after the MP gave us a unanimous decision, but we were told that this would be confirmed during the planning meeting a few weeks later (MP was just before Christmas so we had a bit of a wait after New Year).

Paul x


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## Miny Moo

You have to wait for MP decision to be ratified in general before intros can take place, but I think some LA can get this done quickly, both our MP's have been before Christmas so intros have been after Christmas, with our son we had MP then straight after a planning meeting where we planned intros and we were all involved.

With our intros that are just about to start (2months post MP!!!) we were emailed a plan of intros before MP, we were not involved at all in the planning of them, we have since had a planning meeting where we were able to tweak them slightly.

We also found with our sons intros that we had a very good relationship with his FC's and we did tweak them between us using common sense, with things like over night stays, we did ask permission of SW's involved before changing them.


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## gettina

Oh Minny - are you almost off the blocks then? Finally!!!! Exciting times at last.
Sending love 
Gettina


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## EverHopefulmum

Our MP is on the 10th (OMG less than a week).... we were told they have to send a draft intro schedule to the panel and we saw it for the first time when we meet the FC. We tweaked it a bit then to fit around her schedule as she also has a birth child. But, that might be as we don't have our inductions planning meeting scheduled until the day we meet LO & actually we meet him in the morning and then have the planning meeting afterwards.


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## daisy0609

Our MP is the 13th and we don't have any of this. I have emailed out SW who seems to think that it will be after the MP but she hasn't been involved in any planning meeting. I have emailed LO's SW to see if she can tell us anything as she is coming from a different area


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## Miny Moo

Still posting on this thread as we should have had our intros in Jan with out all our delays, well today is the day we meet our daughter, busy trying to get the car packed for our long journey, one very excited big brother, a poor dog who wonders what's going on, stroll on 5pm tonight.

Think we are the last ones on here to start our intros so hope all is well with everyone else and you are all enjoying being families, the 1st few weeks, months even are tough and I found them very sureal. 

Just wanting the next 11 days to be over quickly so we can get on with life x


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## EverHopefulmum

Goodluck Miny moo........hope everything goes smoothly, keep us updated when you can. x


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## Flash123

Wow what a day mini moo, good luck to you and your family and enjoy this magical day xx


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## daisy0609

Good luck Mini Moo your day is finally here xx


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## GERTIE179

Woo Hoo Mini Moo your day is finally here x


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## gettina

Hope today went well Minny.
Thinking of you.
Gettina


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## MummyPea

Hi all!!

Minny hope it went well. 

Paul, how is it going with your LO?

Little Pea is settling in really well. He's finally sleeping through the night for at least 7 hours and then 4 hours rather than waking every 2 hours! He is also walking so keeping us on our toes. We have our 4 week review on Tuesday which I'm not really looking forward too. LOs agency are sooooo negative!! Thankfully our SW is 100% on our side and can see the progress he's made


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## Brummig

Hope your review went okay MummyPea.  Ours was a bit of a farce as lo's sw didn't come.

Just wondering, those who have had the lo's since before Christmas - are you still having regular health visitor visits?  Ours is coming every 2 weeks not sure if this is the norm or because sw told her I had a wobble just before Christmas.


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## daisy0609

Oohhh kellyrocket only one more sleep to go. Starting to get nervous now!hipe ur feeling ok xx


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## gettina

Hi Brummig
No, we had two hv vists in quick succession (as I wouldn't let her weigh littley at her first visit within a week or so of placement in late dec) and soon after that she attended our first lac review but next visit isn't until late march for a formal lac health review (I forget what - 8-10 month one or something). 

I would think it would be more your area's policy than anything to do with a wobble. Perhaps you can nicely ask about when the visits drop down as the support has been wonderful but you feel you are managing fine...? 

Mind you, my hv has strongly encouraged me to visit the children's centre and get him weighed, join classses etc. I have little interest in that and feel quite pressured by her. Will get round to it sometime but not top priority for us.

Hope life with your little ones is going well everyone. I'm v happy. 
Best 
Gettina


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## EverHopefulmum

Kellyrocket & Daisy0609 - goodluck for today....thinking of you both x


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## Miny Moo

Well we are on day 7 of our intros today, intros themselves have gone better than expected and although our boy has his defenses up he secretly likes having a little sister and we have had some very good interaction between them. Our evenings on the other hand have been truly awful, our boy had struggled once she has gone back to FC, what with not being in our own environment, bring up all those memories of his own intro's and his behaviour has been off the wall, ADHD medication not even touching the sides, hope that with us being back in our own home for a couple of days is going to make a big difference to him, just have to get through the couple of days back at placing Authority then back home for good by Tuesday at the latest next week.


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## daisy0609

Thanks everhopefulmum we got a huge yes after being there for nearly two hours and we meet her the beginning of march and I can't wait!xx


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## EverHopefulmum

Fantastic news Daisy0609   , over the moon for you......enjoy celebrating xxx


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