# Single Newbies Welcome Thread - post here to get started! - Part 2



## aweeze

Welcome! 

This thread is a starting point for anyone that wants to join us here on our Single Women's Board! 

It can be pretty daunting making that first post so this is an ideal place for it. You'll find a warm welcome awaiting you - we have a great bunch of people on here!

Lou
X


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## some1

Oh dear, I am a bit behind on this thread!  Welcome to blueskye1983, auntiesaz, lynne5 and mr ben - hope you are all finding your way around okay - glad you have joined us!  Feel free to post on any of the threads (or start your own) - we are a very friendly bunch  

Some1
xx


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## suitcase of dreams

Just posting so I keep updated on this thread...think I've welcomed all our recent joiners, but if not, HELLO and a very warm welcome  

Suitcase
x


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## Betty-Boo

Hello to all!! x x x


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## langtang

Hi,  I'm new to the site - but have been reading your posts on and off for the last few weeks...  Thanks to Indekiwi for suggesting that I look at it.  I'm looking forward to getting to know some of you online - you all sound very friendly and positive!  Apologies in advance for my incompetence with computers - scary when you think that my job relies on them!

I'm living in Gloucestershire and work in Bristol.  I'v got to the stage where I'm looking for clinics that are positive about single women and who have available donor sperm.  Ideally I'll be able to get there and back from Bristol as I don't really want to tell work what I'm doing at the moment.  I have an appointment with the head nurse at LWC Cardiff next week for some advice.  I tried talking to IVF Wales but they were totally unhelpful - maybe I just got someone on a bad day so I'm going to follow up with an email.  Does anyone here have any suggestions?  

I have now talked about my decision with my GP (incredibly supportive) and more importantly my dad and brother (also supportive).  My dad is going on holiday tomorrow and is taking the book "single mothers by choice" with him to read on the plane - would love to be a fly on the wall!

Clare


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## blueytoo

langtang - I used to live in Gloucestershire until a few years ago and the only clinic in the area that accepts single women is Bath ACU. 

Hope that helps

Claire xx


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## indekiwi

Langtang,

Good to see you posting, and welcome!    Muddypaws had tx (treatment) in Bath - might be worth a bit of investigation, although the sperm needs to come from elsewhere as Bath doesn't have a sperm donor programme.  This is easily do-able if you wanted to pursue tx close to Bristol.  Hope all is well!

A-Mx

PS - whoops, crossed posts with Feisty but will send this anyway.


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## lulumead

welcome langtang to our lovely group, look forward to hearing your journey.xxx


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## upsydaisy

Hi Langtang and welcome ,

Your dad sounds great!  Mine has been amazing. I was so worried about what he would think but he's taken it all in his stride.

There seem to be a lot of Clare/Claire s on here at the moment!  I think it must be the women of a certain age thing   probably lots of Sarah's as well, thinking back to when I was at school...sooo long ago . 

Upsy (yet another Clare)x


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## Lou-Ann

Hi Langtang and welcome to the group. Good luck with your journey 

Lou-Ann x


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## langtang

Thankyou for all your welcome messages!

I've printed off some info on Bath and will give them a call during the week.  Bath would certainly be easier to get to than Cardiff.

Clare


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## Betty-Boo

Hi Claire - welcome to the madness!!

I originally started treatment at Ocean Suite Plymouth - altho my experience wasn't brilliant- however they bent over backwards for my friend (do wonder if its cos she was married??).. 

Cardiff were hopeless - never got back to me and when I did chase them up they said I had to live in Cardiff to be treated.

Bath sounds like a good option!!!

All the best honey x x


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## some1

Hello and welcome langtang!

Some1 and little1

xx


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## BlueSkye1983

Hi Langtang just wanted to say Hi and to welcome you.

That is fantastic that you dad and brother are being so supportive and especially for your dad to read up on it thats really good.  A good family and friend support network has really benefitted me, mine have been amazing.

Maybe when you phone IVF Wales you did get someone on a bad day (not that that should excuse it) but that is where I am having treatment and they have been amazing.  Worth trying to see if you can speak to someonelse there.

Have you had your appointment at the LWC clinic yet?  If so how did it go?  If not good luck  

BlueSkye
xx


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## Mifi

Welcome to all newbies


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## bluprimrose

hello all

just popping in to say hello.  have been lurking around ff for the past year but only joined a few weeks ago as i was on my (6th) 2ww.  you'll see my story from my signature.

anyway, i'd love to join you guys - it's good to be around lovely ladies who understand what you're going through and also to be there to offer support to others.

bpxx


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## langtang

Hi All,

Welcome Bluprimrose - was just about to hit the send button on my email below when your message popped up.  Sounds like you have been having a tough time.  

Just thought I'd update you - I went to visit LWC in Cardiff and they were very helpful saying that they can start as soon as I am ready.  When I asked about donor sperm she said that the system wasn't perfect and it depended on how strict you were with your criteria but they didn't generally have a waiting list.  She also said that they had had a redhead offered to several women who kept turning him down because of his hair colour - would be perfect for me as all my family are redheads!  I also spoke to Bath who were very friendly, however they need a referral letter from my GP and once they get that they will not have any available appointments until late Novemeber and then they say allow 3 months of assessment before they accept me and start doing tests.  They also have no control of donor sperm and suggested that I find some myself.  So I've pretty much made up my mind to go to Cardiff - just waiting now for my dad to get back from holiday because he has said that he would like to go with me to my first appointment and I think it is important for him to be involved if he wants to be.  

Now it's back to weeding until it gets dark followed by more apple puree-ing - think I'll be peeling apples in my sleep soon!

Hopefully shortly I'll fit into one of the other threads rather than just being a thinker! 

Cx


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## bluprimrose

hello langtang - and thank you for your welcome.

i'm at lwc in london and have been for over a year now.  

i think they're great and would happily share my experiences with you.  i'm onto my 2nd donor!  they suggested a change after 3 bfn's with my first donor.  it almost worked with my new one...

bpxx


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## Felix42

Welcome Langtang. That's great you've pretty much decided on a clinic and it looks like there's a suitable donor waiting for you! That's so nice that your Dad is supportive. Hope all goes well with your first appointment and you can start treatment very soon. 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


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## IceQueen

Hi

I'm a newbie to here.  My firend pointed me this way after all the great support she got over the last few years going through IVF.  I've made the decision to go it alone, as the ideal man seems to hidden around a bloody long corner  
I've been to the LWC in London and have had the consultation and all the tests, all of which seem good.  I have the Hycosy on Tuesday to check my tubes are all clear.  Then it's on to filling out the form for the type of sperm donor i want, it's all a little scary, which is normal right?  

IQ xx


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## bluprimrose

of course it is iq - scary but exciting!  i'm at lwc too so am here if you need me for any questions, answers or support.

where are you having your hysteroscopy?  did lwc suggest it?

bpxx


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## lulumead

Hello and welcome IQ!

yes it can be totally scary!  I'm sure you will feel all sorts of emotions along the way, and pretty much everyone on here will have felt the same, which can be very reassuring!   

look forward to hearing all about your journey

xx


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## Sima

Hi IQ and welcome to the gang.  

Good to see you are already on your way.  Do feel free to shout if you have any questions.  Many women on this board have been or are at LWC so you are bound to get lots of advice.  Are you going for IVF or IUI or do you not know at this stage?

Yes - it is all very scary and exciting.  Just take each stage as it comes otherwise it can be quite overwhelming.


Sima


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## indekiwi

IceQueen, welcome to the singles boards!  Hope you find lots of support here.

A-Mx


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## langtang

Hi BP and Felix, thanks for your replies!

Hi IQ - welcome to the thread.  I haven't been posting for long and you're a little ahead of me in the process - you're right, quite scary.  I'm going to try and get my first proper appointment with LWC in Cardiff this week (I've been to look round before).  Good luck for Tuesday. 

Clare


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## IceQueen

Hi

Thanks everyone for your welcome.
I'm going for IUI, unless something shows up tomorrow with the Hycosy.  The LWC are doing it there, and haven't sent me eslewhere for it.  
Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

IQ
x


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## starbuck

Welcome to all the newbies - good to see so many of us now.

IceQueen - I've also been doing IUI at LWC in London and happy to answer any questions you have.  Good luck tomorrow.

Starbuck


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## Lou-Ann

Welcome to the boards IceQueen . You'll find lots of support and info here.

Lou-Ann x


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## suitcase of dreams

Welcome to the new comers!

Jah - if all your tests etc are normal, then your first course of action is probably IUI with donor sperm (IUI = inter uterine insemination)
You'll need to find a clinic which has sperm donors available - plenty in London, can be harder in other parts of the country but by no means impossible
There are singlies here in all parts of the country, so if you let us know where you are we can prob recommend/point you in the right direction

Re-reading your post, I wonder if actually you were looking for advice on whether to go ahead or not? Rather than on how to go ahead? Again, there are people here at every stage of the process so I'm sure we can help....just post your questions (either here on the intro thread or start a new one if you prefer) and I'm sure you'll get lots of good advice

We meet up quite often too, so if you want to talk face to face, I'm sure there will be another get together soon. Or again, let us know where you are and there may be someone near by for a coffee & chat

Best of luck!
Suitcase
x


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## indekiwi

Hi Jah, welcome to the single boards, where you certainly are not the only one either thinking of creating a family on your own or indeed actively trying to do so.    As Suity says, if you have questions, ask away!  Feel free to post on whichever thread seems to make sense for you.

A-Mx


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## lulumead

welcome Jah.xxx


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## langtang

Hi Jah - welcome to the thread!

I think everyone makes the decision on what to do differently - I was just reading the abroadies posts and that shows how different we all are in how we approach our decisions.  Personally I found reading about it (there are some good books written by various American authors about being a single mother by choice) helped a lot, then I talked to my closest friends and family (who also read the books) and also met up with A-M and talked to her - very helpful to meet someone who has already done it.  

My father has just told me that my stepmother has read the book I gave him to read and that it has made her understand where I am coming from much better - sometimes it is easier to understand something if you read and re-read something written by someone you don't know than listening to those close to you telling you exactly the same thing.... 

Good luck with making your decision!

Clare


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## suitcase of dreams

good suggestions Claire. The Mikki Morrisette book is quite good. There is also one by Jane Mattes and if you have a browse on Amazon you'll find loads more....most of us have copies too so I'm sure we could lend them out if there's one you're partic interested in reading  

the other thing which helped me (I'm a list kind of person!) is that I wrote a list of all the questions/challenges I thought I might get (from friends, family, colleagues, strangers etc etc) and then set to answering them for myself. As it turns out, I've had nothing but fantastic support from people and no one really asked me any of the challenging questions I thought they might (eg why are you doing this, isn't it selfish to bring a child into the world without a father, how will you manage with work, how will you manage with money etc etc)...but asking and answering those questions for myself helped me to see both how much I wanted it and it was the right path for me, and also how do-able it actually was...

best of luck
Suitcase
x


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## bluprimrose

a very warm welcome jah.

as all of the other lovely singlies have said we're here for any questions or support you may need.

it can be quite a daunting path we've decided to take - trying to be single mums.  for me personally, i'd rather be doing this with a partner but i'm single and not too young anymore so i've made the choice to (try to) go it alone.  i say try to as i still haven't managed to get pregnant as you'll see from my signature.  the thing that helps me if i ever worry about what i'm doing (money, etc.), is that it's far more scary thinking about not doing it than doing it.

i'm also at lwc (in london) and they've been a great support to me.  i'm here for any questions you may have - or if you're in london too and would like to meet up.

bpxx


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## bluprimrose

p.s. jah, i'm sorry about your break up, i know how hard that can be expecially if you were ttc.  you've already taken the very brave step of thinking of going it alone and are definitely in the right pkace for support and advice.

bpxx


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## Lou-Ann

Jah, welcome to the boards, you've come to the right place for support and info 

Lou-Ann x


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## Jammy J

Thankyou everyone, its so nice to know there is such good support out there and there are lots of others in exactly the same boat.
Is there anyone in Brighton area that has gone this alone, would love to chat to you either on line or in person.
As the Agora is only 5 mins from me, I think that would probably be my best bet.  I have already had a chat with Jo there about my situation, it was the day me and BF were meant to have our first apointment but I went along all on my own, just fo find out about my options.  So, i guess up to me to make the decision whether I am going to go for it, and if so when do I start getting on with it, Its difficult as you are constantly hoping the ideal man might come along and want a baby too but if not you have wasted more time.  I think I might give it to Christmas to make a decision and then go full steam ahead, or I am 40 in April, so maybe then, but then on the other hand I think why am I waiting?? Too many questions, as someone said above I should write my questions down and try and answer them for myself. 
Has anyone gone it alone, any idea of basic fee's, providing things go to plan and work sort of soonish?? 
Thx everyone x


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## upsydaisy

Hi Jah and welcome to another Brighton Belle ,

I'm in Brighton and have a 19 month old daughter by DIUI.  

It is a huge decision to make, but I'm so so glad I made it.  I think I wrote some sort of list of pros and cons but when it came down to it my desire to be a mother was so great it made all the cons seem kind of meaningless.  It's certainly not an easy option but I haven't regretted it for a second.  I used the Esperance clinic in Eastbourne, they were really great and the prices seemed quite reasonable compared with some of the London clinics (sorry I can't remember the exact figures but if you want to PM me I can dig them out!)  It's so horrible when you feel your up against a biological clock that's booming rather than ticking.  Feel free to PM me for any other info.
Welcome again it was getting a bit lonesome being the only Brighton representative  

Upsyxxx


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## IceQueen

Welcome Jah, i have just joined the gang myself.  
I think the thing what really helped was going to the mini seminar that the clinic (LWC, London) did.  Gave me the chance to see the ins and outs of it all and ask loads of questions.  Then i just took it one step at a time, and trying not to do it all at once, and kind of ensuring my decision to go this route was still what i wanted.  This way i have made sure everything was all in working order and be ready for when i make that final step and go for the actual insemination.  
Have to admit i kept wondering whether i could hang on and wait for Mr Right to turn up but f or me the clock keeps ticking louder and i can't how but think how disappointed i would be if i didn't at least try whether successful or not.  And of course talking it rhough with friends and family, they have all been really understanding and supportive.  

I went for my last step for the final big one today, and had the hycosy.  Hmmm, now that was an intersting experience.......NOT!  Turns out i have a bent to the side uterus, which tested the doctors ability to navigate down there, and a little eye watering at times    But the good news my tubes seem to clear.  Have to say now i have reached this stage i am more excited than scared.  

If there is another get together then it would be good to meet up with you all, and hear all about your experiences. 

Take care all
IQ
x


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## Jammy J

Hi IQ

When was it you decided to finally go for it and how long long did it take to start everything from when you decided, are you going private, I think thats the only choice isnt it? 
The money really concerns me and I think really where am I going to get it from, I have equity in my property, I guess I would have to release some of that or get a loan to pay for it.  Are you having IUI or IVF and how did you go about arranging the sperm?

So good to talk,
JAH x


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## suitcase of dreams

Jah - if it helps, I first decided in the November (almost 2yrs ago now...), and had my first IUI in the January - so doesn't take long if you can find the right clinic and all your tests are clear etc. I went to LWC and they have a large sperm bank, so no wait for sperm. Often it takes longer because of the wait for sperm
And yes, you will have to go privately - pretty much impossible to get fertility tx on the NHS as a single person...

If the clinic you choose does not have sperm available, you can import from abroad. There are sperm banks in the US and Europe which can help. Cryos and European Sperm bank in Denmark, and Xytex in the US. Beware with ESB that they charge extra for importing to the UK because we have strict laws here on the number of pregancies a donor can have
If you Google these sperm banks you can get an idea of costs and what sort of information is available etc. I've used ESB (to import to Czech Republic not UK though) and they were great. I've also been in email contact with Cryos and Xytex who were also very helpful...

Good luck
Suitcase
x


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## Jammy J

Thanks Suitcase for your message.
I know I need to do something and cant leave it much longer, It could be a long road and I am not getting any younger, 40 in April!
I so hate that big tick tock in my head the whole time.  I have seen on the ESB website that you really get to choose the sperm you want to buy and have sent over.  If the clinic I used does have sperm available here, do you still have similar choices or is this only from abroad?  
Did you tell everyone you were going ahead with this or keep it all to your self, I have only told one person, can't decide whether to share with anyone else at this stage, i guess it could take some of the stress away.
What made you decide on the LWC or was that the closest to you?
I have the Agora centre just 5 mins from me and have read very good things about them.
Does anyone else have any recomendations, living in Brighton.
Thx all for your support 
JAH x


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## suitcase of dreams

Hi again Jah,

Difference between the overseas sperm banks and clinics here is that you tend to get more information with the banks abroad. Here you will get basic physical characteristics and perhaps some limited info re occupation, hobbies etc. With the overseas banks you get pyschological profiles, baby photos, audio tapes of the donor talking etc etc - so much more info if you want it. Some clinics in UK offer a choice, others do not - depends on the size of their sperm bank...

I told lots of people about my plans. Initially my mum and sisters (we're a very close family anyway) and then the majority of my friends. I've been lucky that everyone I have told has been hugely supportive. Most weren't all that surprised anyway since I'd made no secret of my desire for children for some time anyway....
The only people I've been careful about telling are work colleagues. Two of them know - one is a close friend anyway outside work, the other is a guy on my team who I've always got on well with and I needed someone on my team to know to cover for me if I needed to take time off at short notice for appointments etc. When (positive thinking here!) I get pregnant I will be very open with work about the fact that I am a single mother by choice etc, I'm just not telling them for now because I don't want to be in any way discriminated against at work because of it (I know legally they can't, but once your boss knows you're trying to get pregnant I'm sure it changes the way they see you in the workplace)
I've definitely found it a great help to have told friends and family - it's such an intensive process and takes up so much of your thoughts that if you don't tell people, it's hard to not talk about it if you know what I mean.
That said, far and away the best support is the single women here on FF because they understand exactly what it's like. Friends and family are mostly married with children, and try as they might, it's hard for them to understand the infertility journey

As for LWC, it was a practical choice based on availability of sperm. At the time they were one of only a few clinics nearby which could offer immediate treatment. Most others had 6 months + wait and I was impatient!

Hope this helps somewhat. Can't help on Brighton recommendations, but hopefully someone will be along soon (or you could also try posting on the Sussex thread..)

Suitcase
x


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## Kiwi_in_uk

Hi everyone

I just wanted to say Hi (I was lurking on this board a few months ago before I went into post BFN IVF cave dwelling zone).  I've been in bed trying to sleep but finding it impossible because of my nausea.  Eventually I got up and had some crackers and a cup of tea and now I am wind awake.  God help me at work tomorrow.

I want to share some interesting and positive news for singles!!  After extensive testing - including immunes - I was eventually told by Saint Mary's (Paddington) Recurrant Miscarriage Clinic that IVF would not give me the best chance of success - best way for me would be natural or insemination because of Low AMH, high FSH.  Under normal circumstances  (having a partner) I would probably never have had got as far as IVF. Its just something that is the case for singles and I thought this would be the best place to post it. 

I've ended up with a friend's sperm rather than pure donor.  I've debated long and hard both options and could not conclude which was best.  But, I am where I am and pregnant so its a matter of making it work.  It does hurt that I still sat alone waiting for my first scan - but next time I will take a friend (cos what happens if its bad news - I need someone to stop me going into melt down before I reach home).

Inde kiwi - how is the wait for the donor - any news?

Suitcase - I agree - best to be open about situation - if you did not want to say it was donor sperm you could always say " the father wishes to remain anonymous at the moment". 

Might try and see if I can grab 40 winks as the nausea seems to have gone west for now.

Kiwi


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## indekiwi

KiUK, congratulations                                                                       

Not sure if that's enough celebrations but there we have it!  Fabulous news, and fingers crossed for the next scan - for which I do hope you will have someone with you - hopefully for even more satisfied celebrations!  Come post on the bumps and babes board for singles - there is quite a crew of bumps posting there now and you would find lots of support there.

My news is a bit more demure - found a donor, baseline scan next Tuesday, we shall see...

A-Mx


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## langtang

Hi Kiwi_in_UK - congratulations!  Hope you got some sleep!

Hi IQ - Ouch!  Good news though.  You're right it would be good to have a meet up.

Hi A-M - good luck for the scan.

Hi JAH - lots of questions!  Just thought I would add my perspective to Suitcase's reply.  

I have chosen to try to get sperm from the UK if possible.  In some ways I would prefer to know less rather than more about my donor myself - I'm not sure that I believe that more details than that they are fit and healthy will help me especially with things like education for example because although I would like a match with someone of a similar intelligence I know plenty of thick people with degrees and intelligent people without.  If I know too much I worry I might start to think too much into it and that has got me nowhere with finding a man!  In a way I'd prefer to leave it to what the stork brings - I will love him/her to pieces anyway.  The other thing is that with the new UK law your child will have a right to know who their donor is when they are 18 if it is a UK donor, but from abroad I don't think they get that chance.  I would like to give them that opportunity if I can.  Although when they are 18 they may show no interest whatsoever of course!  At the end of the day I don't think there is a right or wrong - whichever works for you is best!

As far as telling people goes - I have told close friends and relatives, but most of my other friends don't know.  I've just been on a hen weekend where they picked my situation to pieces.  I have several friends who have decided not to have children just because they don't want them and at one point said I was being too fussy about insisting that if I found a man he must be happy to have children "I mean really clare, what is more important - having a husband or having children?"  The shock on their faces when I said "children of course" will be funny one day!  I did think about telling them then, but I know it will be an emotive issue for some of them and deciding to try doesn't mean I'll suceed, so I don't want to stir things up and then have this expectation from everyone each month.  Also, I live in a small village and once word gets out people I don't even know will all be talking about it.  A BFN would be hard enough to take with a small group of supporters let alone the whole village commenting on it.  If I was in a relationship I would probably not tell anyone anyway, so why is this so different?  Agree with suitcase about work totally.  That said, if/when I do get pregnant I plan to be completely open about it.  

I chose LWC in Cardiff because they were able to get started more quickly and had more availability of donor sperm whereas the closer clinic to me in Bath said that they were unlikely to be able to see me until late november, then they would probably take 2-3 months to review my case before accepting me because I was single and then they would try to find donor sperm, but they were currently having trouble with availability.  It just sounded like a long wait just to get started.  Also, LWC let me go and meet them and ask lots of questions before making a decision - perhaps you could see if someone at the clinic near you would meet with you?

Sorry for such a lengthy message!  

Clare


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## Kiwi_in_uk

Indikiwi - thanks honey for the celebrations!!!  I'm feeling better today - not sick at all (er, I hope that is just hormones resting up) but anyway it does appear to come in waves with me so hope thats ok.  Slept like a log tonight!  Good luck on Tuesday!!!!!!!!!  Hope your donor is a nice lady!

Langtang - I like your logic with the donor thing - if you prefer to know more than less then the UK route is definately the best way to go.  However, just so that you know - European Sperm Bank do have open donors for age 18 and so do Xytec, since the UK will only allow import of open donors - just thought I would let you know that in case it was a big part of your decision.  European Sperm Bank have voice recordings, baby pictures, information about their bros, sisters, parents grandparents including their medical history as well as personality profiling.  That was important to me when I did my donor sperm thing - I sort of thought about when I taking my little one to the doctor - what would I say when they said "what is his / her medical history".  Half would not cut it (for me).  But the sting in the tail (at least with European Sperm Bank) is the price (ie the £1000 pregnancy slot fee- which is refundable at 75% if you don't fall pregnant) and that they allow 25 live births whereas its only 10 in the UK.  Not sure how my one would have felt with 25 18 year olds knocking on his door when he was 36 with his own kids and career.  He was an 18 year old student - who was doing it for "economic" reasons - very intelligent and dop dead gorgeous I was told (blue eyed dark hair).  But anyway.

As for the not telling people debate.  In my opinion keep it to a few people (none just does your head in).  But then once you fall pregnant if you have told them you are having tx they will keep asking and then you arefaced with telling people (or stretching the truth about still waiting for treatment) before you are ready.

Ok - onwards and upwards.


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## Jammy J

Hi all,

Is anyone aware of the Agora centre in Hove having access to sperm from the UK, when I spoke to them they recommended the ESB but I am not sure if that is their prefernce or the only option.

The more I read over and over all these posts it makes me more determinded to go ahead, thank you everyone for all of your support.

I went out with a best friend last night and was brave and spilled the beans to her about my situation. She was so supportive, it was so nice to share it with someone, a problem shared definetly helps!

Thx JAX xx


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## Sima

Hi Jah - I've no idea if the Agora Hove has access to sperm but my guess is given that they have pointed you in the direction of ESB is that they probably don't or if they do they have a long waiting list.  Ask them outright they should tell you.  Don't worry about importing from ESB - many of the girls have done so and it is quick and easy.  Just post a question on one of the other threads about how to import from ESB and someone will be along with some advice.

I'm glad it all went well with telling your friend.  It's so nice to have "real" friends as well as us virtual friends on your side.  All of my  friends and family have been supportive of my choice.

Sima x


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## upsydaisy

Hi Jah 

Not sure about Agora but the Esperance in Eastbourne do (or did when I used them) have a bank of UK donors and have had some success recruiting locally. 

Great that you told your friend, it makes the whole thing seem much more real once you share it with someone.  Once you make that big decision to go ahead and start telling people, it all feels less crazy and scary (well a bit less crazy and scary !!).
Upsyxxx


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## Cindy W

Hi, I'm Cindy, I'm not sure if I'm writing in the right area, and if posting on a forum is confusing me...god help the baby i'm hoping to have one day. 

I'm totally new to this, not in the sense of wanting a baby but the whole having one on my own prospect.  I'm 36 and single and to be honest I have what i think is a great life. A family that are closer than the Waltons, friends that are literally my family, a great job, a lovely house but there's one thing missing a child of my own....but hey Prince Charming I can live without! My best friends are both gay men and have been together 13 years - I see them all the time.  I have lots of different groups of friends but my main group of friends are either gay men or the girls from work...so I'm definately not short on male company or a dinner date or two lol 

Two months ago my best friend asked me to have his baby...it was a very drunken conversation but my friend had obviously been thinking about it a great deal as he had answers for every question/possible problem we might face.  I've been broody for the last couple of years and him voicing a possible answer to my dream...well it just open a floodgate of emotions and thoughts. However, as keen as my best friend was, his partner wasn't and so after a lot of soul searching and tears..not necessarily on my part, that idea was blown out of the water.

You probably wonder why I say the tears were not on my part...well to be honest after a couple of failed attempts to strike up the necessary "are we going to do this conversation" when we were sober, i got to thinking that maybe they had changed their mind, and that yes i could do this on my own...and the idea has completely snow balled into ...I do want to do this on my own...sorry this is turning into a bit of a war and peace effort....this forum is a bit of a life line for me.  

My family and friends are 110% behind me but to be honest I don't know where to start. My GP who is lovely and very supportive, didn't have a clue about the process and nearly fell off her chair when I asked her.  She's referred me to Essex and Hertfordhire Fertility clinic.  I've had a brief conversation with them about my options ( i realise i need a proper consultation) but i'm confused about the whole IVF, IUI, ICSI etc. They quoted loads of different statistics and seemed to be recommending IVF as the best chance.  I'd really appreciate someone elses views.

Can I just say good luck to everyone going through this...this forum has really opened my eyes to the journey ahead and what you're all going through....it's scary but so reassuring that we're not the only ones.

Sorry if I've gone on a bit, thanks for reading 

Cindy x


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## upsydaisy

Hi Cindy   and welcome to our world  !
Congratulations on making the big decision.
I went about the whole thing backwards and only found this web site after I'd had my daughter    
There is a huge amount of information, expertise and support here. The statistics clinics produce can be very misleading as for example some clinics only treat women who are referred because of existing fertility problems.  Personally I only had DIUI so I'm not an expert on all the different options available.  DIUI is simpler and less physically, emotionally and financially draining that IVF but not as successful.  There are a number of blood tests your GP can carry out which might give you a better indication of which method to start with (basically how loud your biological clock is ticking).

Welcome again.
Upsyxxx


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## Sima

Hi Cindy

Welcome to FF.  I know what you mean about not knowing where to start.  It is a minefield but it will all become easier once you start to go through the process.

One of the first things you should do is to decide on a clinic.  Most of the ladies opt for location but another thing you should think about is availability of sperm.  Not many clinics have a well stocked donor bank so you might want to factor this into the equation when making your decision.  I am not familiar with the Essex and Hertfordshire Fertility clinic.  I guess the next step for you is to set up an initial consultation with your clinic.  The initial consultation is generally with the consultant and they will take a look at your history and will probably then want to run a number of tests on you.  I can't remember all of the tests but you would need to get FSH done on day 2 or 3 of your period, LH, Progestrone on day 21 and they will also need to find your CMV status, HIV, Hep B etc.  The clinic can do these tests for you for a fee but if you speak with your GP they might be able to do some of these tests for you and save you some £££s.  The clinic will also probably want to do an internal scan to check that your uterus is ok and also to check the status of your tubes.  

At this stage don't worry about IUI or IVF or ICIS.  IUI is donor insemination and this is the less invasive form of treatment.  The doctor will offer you this option if all of your tests come back ok and your tubes are clear.  The success rate is less than IVF but then it is less invasive, cheaper and you don't have to take so many drugs.  Many of the ladies start off with IUI.  I did not because I was slightly older than you when I started my tx and my FSH was on the high side so I went straight for IVF.  IVF has better success rates.  If you are using IVF with donor sperm then the clinic will probably recommend you have ICIS but they will discuss this with you first.

I see you are based in Essex so not far from London.  Many of the ladies here go to London Women's clinic or the Bridge in London for their treatment since they have a large donor sperm bank and there is no waiting list for treatment.  I think both clinics have open evenings and it might be worth going along to one of these to get more information on the whole process.  They also tend to be free and so if you are still fact finding then this is a good way to go about it.  

There are also a couple of books you could look at for some more info.  Choosing Single Motherhood by Mikki Morrisette is a popular one and so is Single Mother's By Choice.  They are both US focused but you will get lots of useful tips from them.  

Do feel free to post away if you have any other questions.  All of the ladies on here are really friendly.  We are also arranging a meet up in November in Bicester and you are more than welcome to come along.

Bye

Sima x


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## Cindy W

Thanks Upsy & Sima,

Any advice or pointers in the right direction are gratefully received. You've given me lots of information and thank you both so much for replying.  I've just been reading some posts and there's so much to take in....and so much that some people take for granted (me included).  Reading other peoples experiences really is an eye opener.  But i'm in this for the long haul. I'm a happy positive person and I have no doubt that this is going to be a long hard emotional "journey" but I'll keep going till i'm holding that baby in my arms.  There are so many amazing stories on here...it's really inspiring! 

I'll go back to my GP and organise the tests you mention... My GP was really supportive and said that whilst she knew nothing of the process, she would happily support me by doing whatever tests i need on the NHS so that's definitely a step in the right direction.

The clinic I mentioned said they get their sperm from Xytex in America and that I could see photos of the donors - which did kind of appeal to me...I think I would like to know what he looks like, is that usual, or do most woman like it to be totally anonymous!  


Thanks again for your replies


Cindy xx

P.S - Sima - Thanks for the invite to Bicester...i'll see if I can make it...would be great to meet others in the same sort of situation, and the book recommendation is great too.


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## indekiwi

CindyW!  I haven't anything to add to Upsy and Sima's excellent posts, but thought I'd wander by and say welcome.  Please post on whichever threads feel comfortable for you - everyone is very friendly and knowledgeable.  Hope to see you in Bicester!

A-Mx


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## Jammy J

Hi Cindy

Welcome aboard.  
I only joined last week and I am in a very similar situation to you apart from I have had lots of the tests done (when with now x boyfriend) but now single so am making that decision whether to go ahead.. I am 99% sure I am, the finance part is a big issue for me and working etc going forward but I still feel it is the right thing to do.  I could wait for Mr right to come along but i do not want to loose my chance and am 40 next year.
Im in Brighton rather than London  but it certainly would be good to hear your progress and to compare notes over the next few months as we are both at a similar stage.
Good luck
Jah x


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## lulumead

hi cindy...welcome to our lovely group.
xx


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## bluprimrose

Welcome Cindy - you've definitely come to the right place and yes, this is a lifeline & a very friendly one.  It's amazing the support and understanding these lovely ladies have to offer.

I seem to have missed the Bicester meet-up chat but would absolutely love to meet you all.  Do you have any idea of dates?

Night for now

bpxx


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## Sima

BP and Cindy - here is  a link to the Bicester meet up thread.

Cindy - I imported sperm from Xytex.  It is really easy and I certainly found it useful reading the longer donor profiles.  Give me a shout if you want any info on importing.  I think Patterdale on the bumps and baby thread also imported her sperm from Xytex and she was obviously very happy with the outcome.


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## bluprimrose

Thank you very much sima.  I couldn't see the link though. 

bp xx


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## indekiwi

Bluprimrose, CindyW (and any lurkers ) the link is as follows:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=209597.0

There are moves afoot to arrange regional meets in both Leicester and Bristol in the next month or two as well, though Bicester is a main meet for everyone. If you simply click on "single women" in the tool line above you will see details of all the threads currently being posted on by single women - do have a browse and post as and when you want to contribute. 

A-Mx


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## Lou-Ann

CindyW, hello and welcome to the thread. As the other ladies have already said, you have come to the right place for info and support . Good luck with your journey.

Lou-Ann x


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## langtang

Hi Cindy - welcome!  I don't have much to add to all the helpful advice everyone else has given - they know much more about it than me.  Hopefully all us newbies will find our way together!

An update from me - cos I'd like all your opinions!  I went to LWC Cardiff on Monday for my initial appointment.  The doctor read all my notes - although I'm only 35 I have a history of severe (but luckily not too painful) endometriosis and have had 2 operations on each of my overies to remove endometrial cysts.  I have been on the pill and had a mirena for the last few years to try and stop more cysts forming, which seems to have worked.  The doctor said that having come off my pill she would recommend me getting started as soon as my cycle restarts because I shouldn't give the cysts any chance to come back.  she also said she was concerned that both quantity and quality of eggs would have been compromised by the operations I have had and that with my endometriosis there was in any case more chance of unexplained infertility, so she recommended that I go straight to IVF first time around.  Then they will be able to check the quality of the eggs straight off and although more expensive there is more chance of success per cycle.  This was driven mainly because if I have IUI for say 3 cycles first and it is unsuccessful I will probably have cysts in my overies again in which case they would not do IVF because of the risk of infection and she felt that a 5th op to remove cysts before treatment might be too much.  I think I see where she is coming from and am going to go with her suggestions, but you all know much more about this - what do you think?

Ovaries are very painful the last few days, which I haven't had since I went on the pill, so hoping that that is a sign that my cycle starting again as its too soon for cysts to start appearing...  (positive spin maybe?!)

Clare


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## Betty-Boo

Claire honey - it does sounds as tho your consultant has been totally honest with you as these drugs can cause cysts etc.  Yes it will be more expensive - but at least this way your eggies and sperm get a chance to say hello!!!  

All the best and take care mini x x x


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## Londonscot

Hello everyone,

Like Langtang and some of the others I am new to this whole game and very confused by all the jargon and acronyms.  I'm 34 but recently had tests which showed a low antral follicle count (7 & 4).  Does anyone know if that means I will def have to go straight to IVF?  Is the follicle count showing the same thing as FSH tests and AMH tests do?  

Am looking for a good clinic - just been to the inseminar at LWC - what's people's experience of it?  Sounds like Lister is rated highly by you all too? Does it have a sperm bank - it doesn't look like it from the website?

Should I go to a consultation before or after I've had all these sexual health tests and FSH tests done?  

Is the European Sperm Bank mostly Danish guys then since its based there?  it seemed that way on the site, but not sure...

How does one import sperm anyway should that be necessary?  I know LWC said they could help with that - does LIster also do so, does anyone know?

Sorry - so many questions!  Grateful for any help to get me started!


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## acrazywench

Hi Londonscot,

I'm at LWC. You can get your GP to do all your FSH etc tests done, which saves a bit of money. The only ones I had done at LWC were chlamydia, as I had to have this done before my hycosy, and HIV - the HIV was done at LWC on the advice of my GP as you can have future problems with insurance/mortgages etc. if your records at your GP show you've had this test. When I went for my consultation I just had the FSH/LH/oestradiol results. (I also had AMH - my practice were happy to do this on the NHS but I don't know if this is always the case.)

I have high FSH and low AMH and was recommended medicated IUI first. (I think my antral follicle count was 8- 9 on one side and nothing much else on the other side at my first scan.) I've had one round of treatment with alternate day injections - it worked, but I had an early miscarriage/chemical pregnancy. Although I wasn't on a huge amount of drugs, they did make me a bit drowsy/absent minded so I'm pleased that for the moment I'm not on the IVF route. 

I was reasonably impressed with LWC for most of my treatment. However I did have some issues re. the donor sperm matching process which I found quite stressful and more recently I'm a bit annoyed about some recent phone conversations. 

In terms of importing sperm from ESB, it’s pretty easy. First you have to pay 100 euros which gives you full access to the profiles for three months – but the information you get is really detailed and useful in terms of medical history, personality etc. I wasn’t too keen on the donor match I was offered from LWC and it worried me to have so little information about the donor. I feel much happier having so much more information to pass on to any future child. 

As I think someone has already mentioned in this thread, you have to pay for a pregnancy slot (1000 euros) – so you do have to contact ESB by e-mail to sort this out. You also have to supply ESB with your national insurance number and sign a contract before the sperm can be delivered to your clinic. I’m not sure if I did it the right way round, but I ordered online and then sorted out the pregnancy slot/contract details over the phone/e-mail. Once this is all sorted out, it only takes about 5 or 6 days for the sperm to get to your clinic. 

Sorry if this was a ridiculously long answer and far too much information at this stage. I don’t have a huge amount of experience of this having only had my first treatment in August, but feel free to pm me if you want any more info. 

cw x


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## indekiwi

LondonScot, we've met   - but welcome to the singles board!  Hope you find all the information you are looking for here.  Just to reply re your questions on the Lister, they have a good reputation, particularly for older women and poor responders, but are not the cheapest around.  I am unsure about the sperm bank side of things - hope someone will be along shortly to comment - I believe Feisty, Sima and JJ1 have all either had consultations there or had cycles of tx (treatment).  

A-Mx


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## Sima

Hi LondonScot and welcome.  I am not too sure what antral folicle count means but I think it is a way of determining how much ovarian reserve you have left.  It looks as though your reserve is on the low side given your age but I am not sure if there is any correlation with egg quality.  I would have thought your age would count for you in this instance.  I have just moved to the Lister so I do not have much experience of them.  I am not using their sperm since I am using sperm I imported from Xytex a year back. I was originally at the Bridge clinic in London (btw they have a large donor bank and they are used to treating single women) and they helped me import the sperm from Xytex.  I am sure the Lister use Xytex as well.

I believe the Lister does have a sperm bank but it is not the largest in London so you might find you have a long wait.  Midnightaction had tx at the Lister way back so she might be able to give you some more info on their sperm bank situation.

I do not have experience with LWC but I think they are more cost effective than the Lister.  I think LWC also does a 3 package deal whereby you get the 3rd go for free if you don't fall pregnant before hand.  The Lister is more expensive but it is one of the top clinics in the UK and they are happy to take on challenging cases.

I hope this answers your question.  Sorry it is so wordy  

Sima


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## langtang

Hi Londonscot,

I can't contribute much to most of your questions - but as far as getting the tests done is concerned, I'd get them done at your doctors as soon as you can if they are offering.  I don't think you need to put off the tests until after the consultation or vice versa - they can happen in parallel.  I put off the tests (not quite sure why) until after my consultation and now I am in a panic that they won't come back in time to sort out donor sperm etc. before I want to start treatment (which is asap after what the doctor said!)  If you doctor does most of the tests and you find one is missing or not quite right you haven't lost anything anyway.  

Good luck!

Clare


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## suitcase of dreams

Hi Londonscot,

And welcome!

As others have said, if you can get all the necessary tests done by your GP, then definitely get that done asap - can take a while for results to come back. Also is useful to have FSH/LH etc results to take to your consultation.

re LWC - I am there and it's fine but do be aware that they tend to have a standard protocol and that's what they offer everyone. They are relatively cost effective (no IVF tx is cheap, but compared to some London clinics LWC are reasonable) - however I think to some extent you get what you pay for. In the case of LWC this means that you will get a pretty standardised approach. The Lister I believe is more tailored to the individual, but is more expensive. 

Yes, ESB tends to be mostly Danish donors. There are some with different origins - eg I seem to recall looking at a Polish chap living in Denmark when I ordered from there, but generally they are Danish. Very easy to import from there - but expensive once you've paid the £1000 pregnancy slot. Try also Xytec and Cryos - the former is US based, the latter Denmark. Both have similar offers to ESB but without the pricy pregnancy slot. Although note the choice of donors is much more limited when you need one who complies with UK ID release laws.  

Good luck!
Suitcase
x


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## blueytoo

Londonscot I have had 3 cycles of treatment at LWC and 5 cycles of treatment at the Lister. The Lister does have its own sperm bank and it is one of the bigger ones but all clinics are suffering from a shortage in sperm and have been since the law change several years ago.

The LWC was fine when I had my first treatment in 1997 but by 2003 it had gone seriously down hill IMO. This was after it had been taken over and at that time it became standard protocols for everyone.

The Lister will do tailored protocols for everyone and the Consultants will also listen to your views seriously and make changes. 

ICSI cycle at Lister is circa £7k including freezing and blast transfer and LWC is around £5/6k for the same.


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## Londonscot

Thanks all so much.  Have just got back from a tiring business trip and feel buoyed up by all your positive replies and advice!  Its so reassuring to see so many of you at a similar stage to me and that I am not alone!

I will ring Lister and ask some questions, maybe the Bridge also and still have consultation booked in a few weeks at LWC.  Meantime GP appointment booked for Fri!  

Thanks Indekiwi for introducing me to this site and all your advice.  Hope things are going well for you with scans etc?

Good luck all,

Kx


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## Cindy W

Hi all,

Thanks for the lovely welcome, I've been away a few days but funnily enough there was only one topic that was constantly going round my head and I couldn't wait to get back on here.

I'm now armed with my copies of mothers by choice and choosing single motherhood, thank you for the recommendations.

As I mentioned before I not planning on trying until next July but I'm not sure when to have the fertility tests.  Do I have them now or nearer the time.  

Is there anything else you would recommend I do now or wait till nearer the time.

I feel this is very one sided at the moment..you're all welcoming and supporting me and answering my questions...I hope that as I get to know you all, that I can be of some help and support too.

Thanks for listening...or should that be reading  

Cindy x


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## Bambiboo

Hi everyone,

Ive been reading some of the posts on here, and think that the support, advice and friednship it seems to ofer is fab!

Im 34, single and just starting IVF with sperm donation at LWC.  Presently on day 5 of downreg.  Getting used to my emotions being all over the place!!

I like LWC but always feel rushed when I am there and never feel that I have the opportunity to ask everything I want to. 

I don't know anyone who has gone through this process before, let alone as a single Mum so would love to hear from others in a similar position.

Bambiboo x


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## indekiwi

Bambiboo, and welcome!  You will shortly be meeting lots of people in a similar position to you, never fear.    Quite a lot of the peeps posting on the singles board are having tx (treatment) at LWC, and you might want to introduce yourself on the IVF thread where I'm sure you'll receive loads of friendly support.  Good luck with your tx! 

A-Mx


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## Bambiboo

Thanks Indekiwi, I'll do that.  Still trying to find my away around the site! x


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## Lou-Ann

Hello Bambiboo and welcome!! Good luck with your tx 

Lou-Ann x


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## langtang

Hi Bambiboo, Welcome!

I'm hopefully having short protocol at LWC starting in 10 days time.  I'm actually going to Cardiff for most of it and then to london just for the egg collection and embryo transfer. 

Hope your tx goes well.

Clare


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## bluprimrose

hello all and welcome newbies.

langtang - i'm at london's lwc and work just round the corner - so let me know if you fancy some company on your trip to london.

are you going to the meet on the 14th nov?

bpxx


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## BetsItalia

Hello everyone ... and thank you to VEC, JJ1 and Indekiwi for directing me here. 

I am a single 39yo, and I am doing research to find a clinic for IUI (and maybe IVF) with donor sperm. I live in Italy (no donor sperm allowed), so I will need to go abroad. Your posts on clinics you are using have been very helpful. A few more questions:

  -For Reprofit, if you use their sperm, are you permitted to choose your donor or do they have full control over the decision?
  -Does Reprofit allow you to import sperm (maybe from Cryos in Denmark)?
  -Do you have other recommendations for clinics in Europe that are good for singles, not overly expensive, and allow you to choose your donor?

Thank you so kindly for your help. 
BetsItalia


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## suitcase of dreams

Hi BetsItalia and welcome  

In answer to your questions:

1. At Reprofit they have full control over donor choice and you get info only on the very basic physical characteristics
2. They have no problem at all with you importing sperm - most of us singles have imported from ESB (European Sperm Bank) in Copenhagen - it's quick, straightforward and actually not that expensive (well not compared to the cost of donor sperm here in the UK anyway, is def more pricy than Reprofit who I think charge only around €100 for sperm - but then you have the anonymity/lack of information side of things)
3. I've only used Reprofit so I can't comment personally on other clinics. From what I've read there are other clinics in Czech Republic and Ukraine which are good from value for money perspective. Spain is more expensive but has very good success rates. Greece (Serum) also well thought of. Pretty sure all European clinics will let you import sperm but none will really allow you to 'choose' a donor from their supply - although of course you do get to give the basic physical characteristics when requesting a match

Wishing you all the very best with your plans, so come and chat on the IUI/IVF/abroadies or any of the other threads to get to know us all!
Suitcase
x


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## Sima

Hi BetsItalia and welcome

I have just had an initial consultation with Serum in Greece.  They are currently doing a promotion for own egg IVF for EURO 4000 for two cycles as long as you have them within 12 months.  The cost of drugs is on top of that.  Serum has a large donor sperm bank all from the kind donations young Greek medical students.  They do not advertise for sperm donors so only use donations from men they know well so hence the young medics.  All the sperm is anonymous but because Serum know all the donors they are happy to give you any information you like on them as long as it is non identifying. You are also given a choice on which sperm you use right up until you go in for egg collection.

I think most clinics will allow you to import sperm.  As well as ESB you could also import from Xytex in the US.  

Good luck with your research.

Sima x


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## langtang

Hi BP,

Yes - I am going to the meet in November - hope to see you there!

Clare


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## GIAToo

Hi Everyone

I am a newbie, just joined.  I'm just at the stage of deciding on a clinic at the same time as getting tests etc.  Here's my journey so far.

At 39 years old, I split from my then boyfriend and started to panic about the fact that it was getting too late to have a baby.  I've never felt 100% sure I wanted any children and I think I also tried to make light of it because I just never found myself in a situation (i.e. with Mr Right) to have one.  I even threw myself into a whole new career doing something I loved, thinking that that would help me if I never did have kids.  Then two of my cousins got pregnant naturally at age 44 and I think that threw me into a false sense of security as I suddenly thought I might have time to meet someone and have babies.

In July (aged 41) this year I came off the pill (I was on it for PMS) and I didn't get a period for 6 weeks and felt like I was having hot flushes etc.  My Grandmother and Aunt both went through the menopause at 42 and my Mum and other Aunts all had hysterectomies in their 30s (luckily they all had kids very young).  I went to my GP and the blood tests showed I was “menopausal”, which the receptionist kindly told me over the phone!!!! I was devastated.

Anyway, for the next 2 months I started going through a grieving process when all of sudden I ovulated (I can always tell 'cos of my cervical mucus and I get pain).  Three weeks later I got a period. When I ovulated again I went straight to my GP and said I was going to look into having a child alone.  She had mentioned IVF to me previously, but we had never discussed donor eggs.  I said I wanted to use my own eggs.  She was 100% supportive and said that although the PCT wouldn't fund treatment, the GP practice would pay for all my drugs! (not sure if that's just for one cycle, but even so it's fantastic!).  She explained what would happen with the down regulation and then the ovary stimulation (excuse me if I get any terms wrong) and said that the fact that I had no fertility problems was good.  I questioned that and said surely my high FSH levels (they were 91!!!) meant I had a fertility problem and she said  the drugs would override that! I felt SO excited, but a little confused and when I went to the Fertility Show on Friday I asked a lady from the Lister about it.  She said I need to get my AMH levels tested and if they were high I would be okay, but if they were low, then chances of me getting pregnant with my own eggs were virtually nil.

That was Friday just gone and I have felt very down since then, after being on such a high when I visited my GP.  I know I shouldn't think anything until I actually know my AMH levels, but already it's hard to think about anything else!

I need to decide on a Clinic.  My GP likes Nuffield Woking.  She spent 15 years and £35,000 trying to get pregnant (eventually had a beautiful daughter) so at least she knows what I will be going through.  At the Fertility Show I liked the Lister and my friend had a successful pregnancy at 42 with them.  Nuffield Woking didn't seem to get many single women through their doors.

Anyway, so sorry this is so long, but only those in the know will know the emotional roller-coaster I am on (already) and the significance of FSH/AMH levels etc.

Thanks for reading
GoingItAlone
xxx


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## bluprimrose

hi going it alone - and welcome

you're definitely in the right place here on ff.

i was at the show on friday too, it was great wasn't it?

i think the first thing you should do is get your gp to do all your blood tests on day 2 of your next period (fsh, lh and i'm not sure what else, i can't remember - but someone will know the names!), then when you've decided on a clinic you can go armed with your results.

i'm at lwc who have a lot of single women as they have a donor bank.  they weren't at the show.

i know what it's like - the emotional rollercoaster of being this age, alone and wanting to have a baby.  but please don't worry, it's not too late - there are always options.

  

bpxx


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## lulumead

hello goingitalone,

its great to have a supportive GP, I would try and get as many blood test done as possible;

days 2 - 5 LH/FSH/prolactin (this is something to do with Thyroid)
anytime you can have AMH done but I'm not sure that GP's will do this.
you'll need to be tested for chylamdia/HIV/HepB and HepC...again worth seeing if GP will do this....you also need rubella

It might be worth finding out from a couple of clinics what there pre-treatment tests are, then you can get these lined up.

it might also be worth getting a day 21 progesterone test, or 7 days after ovulation if you don't have a 28 day cycle.

The other thing with FSH is that it can change from month to month, AMH is the only thing that can indicate if you have an egg reserve and how much...this will make making decisions easier and will mean that you don't waste time.

There are lots of options.

Look forward to sharing your journey....its definitely a roller coaster but I have learnt so much and been very supported by the lovely ladies on here.
xx


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## GIAToo

Thankyou bp and lulumead,

My GP has already said I can get the HIV/HEP/Chlamydia tests done at the surgery, so I will go in for those in the next week or so.

I have savings, but am currently unemployed so need to get a job before I start any full treatment (if it's viable).  I do contract work and have a second interview for a lovely well paid job on Tues so fingers crossed.  If I get that then I will book in for as many tests as possible with my GP and if all ok, choose a clinic and off I go.  If my GP won't do the AMH test then I'll just have to get it done at the clinic.

Thanks for your replies, my family, friends, GP and even my agent (I'm an actress!) are all so supportive which is great!!

GIA
xxxxxx


----------



## lulumead

Hi GIA, AMH isn't too outrageous. My clinic did it for £84 I think...so not so bad if you can get all the others done by GP, you will save quite a bit  

Tricky juggling freelance acting career and all this crazy business.  I am doing more and more producing work so am contemplating going freelance at the moment. My job is doing my head in.  Good to have lots of support around you, it makes the whole thing much easier to deal with.
xx


----------



## langtang

Hi GIA and welcome!  
I would recommend having the fetility tests done now if you can because it gives you an idea of how soon you need to try and what the chances are, although (as I keep telling myself) the results will give you only an indication of the likelihood of success - there are still women with high FSH or low AMH who get pregnant with their own eggs and you won't know for sure until you try.  It is a roller coaster, but I have found everyone's posts here very helpful and reassuring, particularly to prove to myself that it is natural to feel all these different emotions and I'm not just weird!  
Good luck with your interview.

Hi Fraggles - thankyou for your welcome!

Clare


----------



## Sima

Hi GIA - welcome to the group.  You have done a lot of research already.  Well done you.  I note you said you had high FSH and I think you should take this into account when choosing a clinic since many clinics will not treat women with FSH over 10!!  The Bridge does and so does the Lister.  The Bridge has a well stocked donor sperm bank but you have to buy up 6 vials at a time which is not great if you are looking to do just one or two IVFs.  They will use imported donor sperm and they have links with Xytex in the US and regularly use them to import sperm.  At least this way you don't have to invest £2k plus in buying all that sperm.  The Lister has probably the best reputation in the country for treating women with high FSH.  Now FSH does fluctuate on a monthly basis but clinics do tend to look at your highest reading since it is an indicator of diminished ovarian reserve and is therefore highly likely that you will not respond well to the infertility drugs.  IE you might go on to produce just one or two eggs on max dosage unlike other ladies who go on to produce 10 plus eggs with each cycle.  

If I were you I would jump at the chance of the GP to pay for the drugs since this can almost double the cost of an IVF cycle.  My FSH was 14 last year and I was on max stimulating drugs and I think this cost me £2k (admittedly I did not shop around for my drugs like some of the other ladies have done) but you can see it is significant.

Oh yes - the Lister does not have a big sperm bank and so the wait list will be long but once again you could look to import your sperm.

I am no expert but given your family history of early menopause I would not wait too much longer before starting IVF particularly if you want to use your own eggs.  If you decide to move straight to donor eggs then your would have more time and can wait until you are settled in a job again.

There are some clinics who do natural or low dose IVF and this is sometimes used on older ladies who are unlikely to respond well to drugs.  Create in London does this and if you are happy to go abroad then Reprofit in Czech Republic does and so does Serum.  The theory behind this is what is the point of pumping the body full of drugs if you are going to produce just one or two eggs anyway and if you are ovulating then this might be something to consider.  

Sorry if I have given you too much info in one go but better armed with the facts when making your plans.  good luck with your interview on Tuesday.

Fraggles - I liked Serum.  It is a nice friendly clinic and Penny is a very warm and caring doctor.  The clinic is down a little road and it is not obvious that there is a clinic in the street but take a google map of the address with you and you will be ok.  I went to Serum when the clinic was supposed to be closed but Penny kept it open just for me.  She gave me a couple of hours of her time (which is unheard of in the UK).  The initial consultation is free but I just had to pay for my tests.  Penny speaks perfect English so you will be ok.  

Bye Sima x


----------



## Fraggles

HI SIMA

Thanks for that. It's my initial consultation but as it is timed with my cycle I am having IUI whilst I am there.

I work full time, am studying part-time, have a placement where I work too and am writing a dissertation so have to make best use of my time while I am there.

Looking forward to slowing down for a week. I am meant to have been studying today but keep procrastinating by writing on here! Laugh out loud.

Fraggles x


----------



## GIAToo

Thank you for all the brilliant replies - I feel better already.

Bluprimrose - I thought the Fertility Show was great, but I did feel a bit lonely and emotional there and wished I had taken someone with me.  No doubt they would have been bored at the FIVE seminars I went to though..lol.  It was nice to see lots of people at the single women/lesbians seminar and it made me realise I did want to find people in the same situation to talk to - and I found all of you, how fab!

Sima - thank you for all the info.  Research is my middle name and at the moment I can't get enough info.  I keep watching all the Test Tube Babies episodes on the Home & Health channel - probably not helping actually, seeing all those lovely babies!!! I cry every time one is born!

Fraggles - looks like I may see you and some others on 19th December for the lunch?

Langtang & Clare - assuming I get a job pdq, I am looking to start as soon as possible in the new year.  Any delay will only be due to my chosen clinics waiting time and getting sperm. My GP wants me to decide and start asap.  

Money permitting I think I am going to try and stick to trying 3 times max, but who knows how I'll feel if I've tried three times with no success.
The price lists for each clinic I find very confusing as I am trying to work out a budget (my friends call me Alvin Hall), so I'm finding that all very frustrating.  And the sperm thing too.  I did talk to the guy at the European Sperm Bank on Friday and also had a look at the Xytex website.

Anyway, first things first - get as many test done at the GPs as possible then go for my first consultation.  You never know I may have all that done by 19th December when I meet some of you 

Good luck Fraggles and anyone else currently going through treatment or about to - can't remember everyone's names at the mo, feels like first day of school, but what a great education I'm already getting!!

GIA xxxx


----------



## indekiwi

GIA, welcome to the singles boards! As you've already experienced, you will find great support and lots of information here.  Have a good mooch at the different threads on the singles boards as they contain a lot of information (and sometimes a good laugh just when you need it - this business is far too intense some times   )  Post wherever you feel the urge! 

Oh - and I'm hoping your user name is going to bring you a lot of luck - there is another GIA posting mostly on the singles bumps & babes thread - she fell pregnant with twins with her first tx (treatment).    

A-Mx


----------



## bluprimrose

Gia yes, the show was great.  I felt very emotional too and was on the verge of tears all day long!  I was going to go alone but ended up going with a friend which was great but she's married and ttc so not elxactly in the same boat as me.

There's another meet for us singlies on sat 14th if you're interested.

Bye for now.  But hello to everyone!

bpxx


----------



## Fraggles

Hi
Remind me where is the meet on the 14th.
Fraggles x


----------



## bluprimrose

The main meet is in bicester, near oxford. If you go to the singles thread you'll see it's called main meet.

Be lovely to see you therem

bpxx


----------



## sohocat

Hi Everyone,

I am single, 45, and was with my last boyfriend for 7 years, and was trying for the lat couple of years to get pregnant but of course it was too late-old eggs.  He kept saying he wanted to see if we would get along better before trying, so for the first 5 years or so I kept putting it off, and a fclose friend told me not to worry-that she knew a woman who got pregnant without trying when they were 43 and 44.  I wish I hadn't listened to her!  It makes me angry, but it is hard to stay mad at this friend because I know it was comong from a kind place.  My relationship did not last, and now I realize that he is not relationship material and never was, but I tried.  Someone told me that better to try with someone you love, than not look back with regret later on.  So I know I have tried, but now it is too late for my own eggs.  I have had a year or two to think about this, while trying using my own eggs and have been researching clinics and all of the info(I could write a book on this-maybe I will!) and I realize I need to do DE. Unfortunately, my old boyfriend won't let me use his sperm now-just another indication of how he is so not realationship material and I have been grieving that now.  I am still doing that.  Anyway, I am doing DEIVF at Reprofit in December.  

Love to everyone,
Jean


----------



## Betty-Boo

Sohocat - its so darn hard isn't it - we throw our all into making a relationship work and then bam - its over - we're a few years older, plenty wiser, but unable to fulfil our dreams quite how we wanted to and have to change tact...
All the best for your treatment at Reprofit honey - I wish you all the success in the world x x x x


----------



## Fraggles

HI Sohocat

Great to have you joining us.

Congratulations in making your decision and taking the first step.

The support on FF is amazing so we are all here for you - the ups and the downs and probably had a lot of similar thoughts that you may have.

Lots of good luck and positive vibes coming your way.

Lots of love Fraggles x


----------



## Emma Grace

Hello all

I'm new to the site

I have just had one failed cycle and considering a second cycle.  I'm not sure whether I should change clinics and would welcome tips on health supplements I should / could take

Thanks

EG


----------



## indekiwi

to Sohocat and Emma Grace!  Hope you both find lots of support and sources of information on the singles board.  

EG, I only take pregnacare but others will be along with a much more nuanced approach to things.  Regarding change of clinic, it really depends what your experience has been to date, the infertility issues (if any) that need to be taken into consideration, your location and whether you are prepared to travel, and the sort of treatment you need.  If you post a bit more about your experience with your first cycle and about you, I'm sure someone will give you some initial pointers. 

A-Mx


----------



## Paint in pink

Hi ladies,
I'm new to this board and just wanted to say hello. 

I am just starting my journey on fertility treatment on my own. I finally got round to making an appointment at the Lister clinic in early December. I am really nervous and excited at the same time! I have no idea what to expect really.

I have been single for a while and have had a rough few years with endometriosis. Just had my 7th laparoscopy. I have no idea whether I will be able to have DIUI or whether I will start with DIVF but I feel very ready for this (although I don't know too much about what's involved lol...)

Well, this board seems like a great place and I look forward to finding out more about everyone and reading your experiences. 

P.i.P. x


----------



## GIAToo

Hi PiP, Sohocat and EG

Welcome to the site.  I am a newbie too.  Got  my first appointment at the Lister next week.  Fluctuate daily between scared - excited - nervous - sad - happy and feeling like I'm going crazy!  I'm single and found out earlier this year I was menopausal, so not sure exactly what my options are, but hoping to use my own eggs  

I probably can't answer too many questions at this stage, but all the ladies on here are very helpful and knowledgeable  

Anyway, take care for now.  

GIA xx


----------



## Fraggles

Hi Paint in Pink, Emma Grace

Lovely to have you both join us. There's a single's meet up on the 19th Dec if you are interested in joining us, likely to be London Bridge. I am sure one of the other lovely ladies will put the links to it so you can add your names if you wish. Did search for the thread but 15 mins in can't find it.

GoingitAlone I forget you are a newbie already consider you part of the crew!

See you soon

Fraggles x


----------



## SJBarlow2302

Hi

I am new to the site just working my way through things - I am in the 2ww first time of treatment with a donor sperm. Very nervous and overly emotiona - worried the embryos wont implant having had an ectopic earlier this year


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi to all our newbies, come and chat on the relevant threads, great to have you here

SJ - good to see you found your way over here, I just replied on your intro thread too  


Suitcase
x


----------



## Fraggles

Hi S J Barlow

Great to see you are with us. When is your testing date?

Fraggles x


----------



## Fraggles

Hi Newbies

If any of you fancy joining the singles meet up in London on 19th Dec, here's the thread to add your name to

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=216362.30;topicseen

See you there

Fraggles


----------



## langtang

Hello and welcome to lots of new people - Sohocat, Emma Grace, PiP, and ST, hope I haven't missed anyone out.

If you are around in London for the meet on 19th December I'd thoroughly recommend going - I won't be able to make it, but I did go to the lunch in Bicester last week and it was lovely to meet so many people in the same boat (or at least similar boats!) 

Clare


----------



## lulumead

hello newbies that I haven't said hi to yet!
xx


----------



## sohocat

cem good luck in the czech.     
I am going dec 7-14.  Let us know.
Jean


----------



## SJBarlow2302

Hey

I think I am replying (I hope i am - what a technophobe) - i am testing on Thursday 26th - 9.30am! 

Waht about you? How are you finding it?


----------



## 9£Bundle

Hiya Everyone,

I'm new to this too. Suitcase - thanks for your warm welcome to my post yesterday. And GIA - a special thank you to you & all those that answered your questions because ther are some similarities in our situation. Basically you have all saved me a whole heap of typing (which you will learn, I ain't great at! )

I will post some Q's specific to my area in the regional bit re PCT & clinics etc. But, assuming there are no fretility issues (unlikely given my age - 41! But lets be optomistic...) can any of you give me an overall view of what kind of questions / grilling you get from GP, clinic, counsellor (or all 3) to get the thumbs up to go ahead with tx?

Do they check your finances, home set up, family support....what do they ask? How do they assess whether you are suitable to be a parent. How intrusive is it?

Reason I'm asking, normally got a good job....but not at the mo. Used to own my own home...that all gone belly up courtesy of my ex (long story, too depressing to go into) So finances aren't great...no mum or sisters to help out etc etc.

I'm not at all phased by going it alone. Had experience of being birthing partner, looking after babies & toddlers. So that bit I know I can handle. Not sure how to prepare for GP, clinic's consultant, counsellor aspects so that I can actually get as far as tx! 

Hope this makes sense. Just started on my Folic Acid, so def early days but I can't hang around at 41. 
Hoping to meet some of you on the 19th Dec.  

9£B


----------



## Fraggles

Hi 9£bundle

Great to see you have joined us.

We all know what starting out is like with all those questions, doubts and worries which tend to crop up.

I went to my GP who was absolutely fantastic, no questions on my work, home, finances etc situation and knew I was single going it alone. I personally didn't have counselling but know a lot of other FF's find it really beneficial. I have a therapy/counselling background, they aren't there to judge you but to support you so don't be concerned that they are their to judge you. It wasn't intrusive at all for me. It's not like adoption where I understand you assessed and my experience through having fertility treatment has only been supportive so far.

I go to Serum in Athens - Penny the Consultant is a Gem but if you want some extra support Ruth a fertility nurse and I think FF moderator also acts as an intermediary and you can go through her for the same price. I had a UK nurse who works with Ruth with me through my treatment so when I had countless questions to ask I was always able to speak to Ruth or Sharon and I had no friend or relative with me to support me when I had my treatment. If you want Ruth's details just pm me. 

I had no grilling and was referred no hassle but chose to go overseas as it is so much cheaper over there - think approx 60-70% of UK cost and that was including flights and accommodation. There are good overseas clinics.

Will be lovely to see you on the 19th. Fireaway with any questions, we've all been there.

Fraggles x


----------



## 9£Bundle

Fraggles - thanks so much for that. Really re-assuring to hear. Surprised that you didn't have to see a counsellor - but maybe that is a UK thing. (HFEA says any fertility treatment you need to see one)

Stunned at how much cheaper going abroad is! Thouht the exchange rates at the mo would have opposite effect. How on earth did you work out the logistsics of getting to clinic on time for LH surge? Will PM you tom. And prob a follow up 3rd degree on 19th!  Oooh I love Athens, been a while since last there tho.

As for going it alone - I posted this for littlemissanxcious, (sp?) (hope she joins us on here) its about Doulas. They aren't Midwives but help with the birth & you & baby after. Volunteers, fully trained (But not medically - thats Midwives job) Something I've seen missing from posts so far but I have heard of them before. Interesting what help is out there anyway. If the link doesn't work go to BBC iplayer. Radio 4 Woman's Hour & "listen again" option. - Oh and fast forward to 37 minutes into programme to get the relevent article.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00nwzhv/Womans_Hour_Weekend_Womans_Hour/

Have a good weekend. And best of luck for all those currently in tx.  Will be thinking of you all. 

9£B


----------



## Fraggles

Hi 9FB

Yes counselling may be UK thing and can see that talking to a counsellor is a good idea. I am currently doing a masters and training to be a therapist so I do some 'self-counselling' and have colleagues I can speak to.

I had natural DIUI (to coincide with my cycle), so after monitoring LH for a couple of months arranged to arrive in Athens the day before and it worked perfectly. Went for a scan as planned, there were two eggs - one good size and a baby. I was due to be inseminated the next day but they then they did a blood test when I went for a coffee and when I came back they did it there and then.

I contacted UK clinics and overseas and spoke to a few of them and went with the person who I felt my best interests at heart and answered my questions as well as checking the clinic reviews. I think it is a subjective thing so speak to afew first and see who you feel comfortable with. A lot of singles have complete trust in their consultants.

Not heard about doulas but will do some research thanks for that.

Enjoy your weekend.

F x


----------



## Grace10704

Hi
I had a doula & she was fab!  As 9£Bundle says they are not there as midwives but often are trained as such.  It meant I had someone in the room who was just there for me and no one else.  I didn't want my mum or a friend there but didn't want to be on my own.  They are not cheap (about £400) but worth every penny.  She was able to help me when I needed to think something through but without any pressure.  I can't recommend a doula enough!


----------



## GIAToo

Hello,

Bit down at mo, but want to try and get better at PMing on here and keeping up with everyone is up to!!

Fraggles - aah fanx! - I see myself as an Oldie but Newbie!    I can't believe how much cheaper going abroad is and now I'm thinking going to the Lister is the wrong choice - especially as I still can't get a job    But maybe with my problems (high FSH), Lister is one of the few clinics who would treat me anyway.

9£bundle - would be great to see you on 19th ( I see you've put your name down ) so we can chat more about our situations.

SJBarlow - good luck for Thursday  

Sohocat - good luck for 7-14 Dec (I'll prob say that again before then)  

AFM, have first appointment at Lister - feeling pessimistic, but as my lovely friend (an ex from 20 years ago) keeps saying to me "it ain't over 'til it's over"  

And take care everyone else, whatever you're doing.

Love and hugs
GIA xxxx


----------



## lulumead

Hi GIA

I don't know much about high FSH but I think it can fluctuate each month and there are things you can do it help it. AMH is probably a better indication of the best way forward.  I'm sure someone who knows more than I do will come by with some advice.

Its only natural to feel down...we spend our whole lives trying not to get pregnant by accident that we assume when we want to do it, it will be soooo easy!!!

The Lister does have a great reputation.

Good luck with Job hunting.
xxxx


----------



## 9£Bundle

Hi Everyone,

GIA - The fat lady ain't singing yet girl. Hang on in there. This job situation is a killer, I never thought I'd be where I am at the mo, so I know where you are coming from. But maybe try & see it as a +ve. You've got the time to & freedom to do this. You don't have to give yr boss   some random excuse why you're not at work when you have to dash off for tx! 

Also the costs for tx abroad really threw me. I've now got a head full of that aswell!! Oh dear.....more dithering!

Grace - I'm so pleased you've had a good experience with your doula. Bit pricey though, I hadn't realised that. I know most of us prob more focused on the early bit of this journey, but being single its good to know there is other help out there. Especially for those of us that, for whatever reason, don't have family support.

To everyone else - good luck. And thanks for answering my Q's & making me feel so welcome. This place is fab! 

9£Bundle


----------



## Fraggles

9£B, GIA

So sorry I so didn't mean to unsettle you about costs - I would really suggest do your research - have a look at clinic reviews on FF both for UK and overseas. I wanted to let you know that you have other options particularly with regards to concerns about finances. Also, for me donor sperm waiting lists are shorter overseas but anonymous and here the donor is named although those having treatment in UK can help you there more as it isn't a route I took. So also think about waiting lists and whether you are worried about that and whether you want to know some info on your donor.

Then email any you like the sound of and get quotes but I'd also suggest contacting by phone or email any that you might be interested in along with any questions. Then go with who you feel comfortable with be that here or overseas.

Sure other singles here would also be able to give you their thoughts too.

It's a minefield to begin with so go with whichever clinic you feel confident and comfortable with.

Love Fraggles x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Just a few thoughts on clinic choice, costs, options etc....from someone who has been around a bit  

In the UK you have the advantage of the clinic being close by (or closer at least), so less logistics with flights etc. This is certainly easier if you are doing OE IVF and/or IUI, and need to be flexible on dates etc. Also you have arguably less communication challenges as you all speak the same language (that said, I've had probably worse comms with my UK clinic than with the Czech one!)
In the UK all donors (egg and sperm) are ID release - so when the child turns 18, they can access information about the donor including potentially contact info if that is up to date...you can potentially also get a bit more information about the donor in the UK )although not always)
However, costs are higher in the UK than some overseas clinics, and there can be longer waiting lists for DE/donor sperm

Going abroad you have travel plans to organise, and potentially some language challenges with communications. You tend to get less donor info, and all donors are anonymous, so the child will never be able to find out more than the basic info you have about the donor. Waiting lists tend to be shorter, although it varies from clinic to clinic. Costs also vary from clinic to clinic

Czech Republic is one of the cheapest, but there are quite long waiting lists for DE in some of the most popular clinics there (eg Reprofit where lots of singlies go). Other cheaper/cost effective options seem to be Ukraine, possibly also Turkey and Cyprus - although I know less abotu these ones.
Spain seems to have no wait list for DE, but is as, if not more expensive than the UK

US and South Africa are also very expensive, but US has excellent reputation, especially for difficult cases (eg Cornell in US, Shady Grove in Washington, SIRM in Vegas...)

At the end of the day it's a very personal decision, you need to 'shop around', read up on the different clinics, contact them for costs/waiting lists etc, and then make the decision that's right for you  

Best of luck, and do keep asking questions here - between us we've been to many of the UK and overseas clinics, so there's usually someone who has personal experience of the place you're looking into  
Suitcase
x


----------



## GIAToo

Hi,

Lulumead - thanks for your comments - I will ask them to do AMH test on Wed.  Had lots of tests done at GPs so didn't feel I could ask for another one.

9£Bundle - I never thought I'd be unemployed either (not in HR anyway, definitely expected it  with the acting!   )  I totally get your points about having time, but my savings are slowly dwindling and I don't want to start any treatment before I get a job in case I end up not being able to pay the mortgage.  I know I worry a lot.  

Fraggles  - don't worry, I appreciate all the information.  Having lots of info will help me ask the right questions on Wednesday.  Definitely felt most comfortable with the Lister at the Fertility Show.

Suitcase - thanks for all the info.  Maybe I should get my first consultation out of the way and then think again about other clinics if I need to. Once I know what treatment is recommended, I can then look at costs and compare etc 

Grace - As for a doula, my Mum will have to be my doula!!    Bless her, she is so trying not to get excited about the possibility of becoming a grandmother.......  I know the feeling...well ..... not the "grand" bit!

Take care Y'all

xxxxx


----------



## 9£Bundle

Suitcase - Thta was a big one, loads of info! Thank you. 
Fraggles - Don't apologise luv! I'm really pleased you gave the info. I'd just never considered going abroad, didn't realise how much cheaper it could be. And lets face it, finance often has to be a major factor in our decisions. 

You are all giving really sound advise and can only speak of your experiences / knowledge. But thats whats wonderful about these boards - you get to hear about things you simply hadn't considered.

GIA - I do understand. Especially with the mortgage.   But if you think you worry a lot now...just wait till you are a Mum!  

9£Bundle


----------



## Grace10704

Hi
Just wanted to add that some doulas in training will do the job for free or at vastly reduced prices simply cos they are using it to add to their own experiences.  It doesn't mean that you get an inferior service - just that the individual is not yet qualified to work independently.  Its a bit like a counsellor in training who has to do a certain number of hours counselling in order to get qualified so do them either free or cheap.  There's a website (doula.co.uk I think) that tells you all about it.  I met a doula in training & really liked her - I just liked my actual doula better!  
Hope this helps a little - and of course if mums are going to be around anyway they make fabulous supporters!
Good luck everyone in the journey


----------



## GIAToo

Grace - thanks for that info about "trainee" doulas.  Definitely worth thinking about a doula when you live alone (I love my Mum, but she can't live with me!   ).  And thanks for wishing me luck on the other post!  

GIA x


----------



## 9£Bundle

Grace - Thanks for that link & the info.  
GIA - All the best for tomorrow.  

9£B
x


----------



## BeBe1998

Hi everyone  ,

I've been lurking for a while and thought it was about time I introduced myself.

I have a dd who is 11 and it has been just me and her since she was born. I have been considering treatment for the last six or seven years and after hitting the ripe old age of 35 in July and going through a hysteroscopy for unexplained spotting, colposcopy and loop diathermy after an abnormal smear, I decided it was time I bit the bullet and got my GP's referral to MFS in Manchester. 

I had my scan, bloods and first counselling session last week and I have my consultant's appointment next Monday.  Very excited and nervous all at the same time.  Had no problems conceiving dd but that was over 12 years ago so anxiously waiting for the results of the test and to find out if there are any problems  and what the next steps will be!

Looking forward to getting to know everyone better!


----------



## bluprimrose

welcome bebe!  good to have you join us.  your definitely in the right place for support, advice & cycber friendship!

good luck with your consultation.

did the hysteroscopy throw up anything re the unexplained spotting btw?  i only ask as i've had a bit of that too.

bpxx


----------



## lulumead

welcome bebe.
xx


----------



## BeBe1998

bluprimrose - no nothing at all from the hysteroscopy and the consultant put it down to hormones.  They did biopsies on the inside of my cervix and endometrium which all came back negative thank goodness and they didn't find any polyps which are often the cause. They offered me a prescription to stop it but it doesn't really bother me as long as it is not a sign of something sinister which it isn't in the vast majority of cases! Have you had yours checked out?

Thanks for your well wishes x


----------



## langtang

Welcome BeBe - lovely to have more people joining us!

Clare


----------



## bluprimrose

bebe, yes, all seems to be ok!  glad you are too.

bpxx


----------



## IceQueen

Welcome BeBe, you're in the right place for lots of great support. 
Best of luck as you go through all the stages

IQ
x


----------



## sohocat

Hi,
I just wanted to let everyone know that I came back from Reprofit on Dec 14th, and I took a test from the pharmacy on dec 24th and it showed  , so I scheduled a blood test for Monday the 28th.  I'm catiously optimistic you know-waiting to make sure, because I really don't feel naseuos at all.  I think for a good pregancy you should feel that way, and I don't, so you know, just waiting to see.  But very, very happy about the BFP!  

GoingIt AloneToo, nice to meet you and weldome.  I haven't posted on here, because too emtional with going there and then the 2ww, and I couldn't talk about it, but I'm feeling a little better with the test result.

Thanks everyone else for all of your wishes.

sohcoat


----------



## GIAToo

Sohocat - thanks for the welcome and congratulations on your      Take care and all the best for the coming months    
GIA Too xx


----------



## langtang

Hi Sohocat,  Congratulations!!!  I wouldn't worry about not feeling sick - I didn't start feeling sick until week 6 and am now wishing that I was back at week 6 because I feel sick all the time!  I looked it up on the internet because everyone was telling me at week 4 that I was lucky to have avoided morning sickness and apparently the average is for people to only get it from week 6 onwards.

Clare


----------



## starbuck

Congrats Sohocat - what great news.

Don't worry about the sickness - its rare to get it that early as the hormone level hasn't risen high enough.  I didn't start feeling bad until about 6 weeks like Langtang (Clare I hope yours doesn't last as long as mine - I've just started trying to eat properly again at 17 weeks).

Starbuck
x


----------



## IceQueen

Congratulations Sohocat, that's fantastic news   

IQ
x


----------



## ellielou54

Hello all

I am a single 39yr old just started her first (and hopefully) last IVF cycle.. first stimms injection last night and would love to meet some other single mums

Ellie


----------



## GIAToo

Hello Ellielou, welcome to FF!  

Sending you lots of    for your cycle..  Where are you based?

GIA Too xx


----------



## bingbong

Hi Ellie and welcome    congrats on starting IVF! Feel free to say hello on some of the other threads, there is one for singles having IVF and a general singles chat, but post anywhere you want, and and there's a 2ww thread for after ET   there are heaps of girls on here who have had IVF so you will get heaps of support and answers to any questions.

Bingbong x


----------



## Jammy J

Hi Ellie

Welcome aboard!  You are in the right place to get lots of support and answer any questions you have so feel free to ask away.

I am also 39 and about to start treatment, I think I am going for IUI first time round though, can I ask was it your choice or were you recommended to do IVF first time round?

Regards
JAH


----------



## RichmondLass

Welcome Ellielou!  what a great night to start!
RLx


----------



## bluprimrose

welcome ellielou54 - here's to lots of luck to kick off 2010!

bpxx


----------



## 9£Bundle

Sohocat - Terrific news!! Wishing you loads of     

Ellie - Welcome!  

9£B
x


----------



## bluprimrose

sohocat, only just read your news.

congratulations, that's wonderful.  wishing you lots of luck - i know you must be feeling cautious but it's all looking good.     .

bpxx


----------



## lulumead

welcome Ellie Lou....good luck, crossing fingers for a lucky 1st time.
xx


----------



## langtang

Welcome Ellie, I've found this site wonderful for information and moral support.  Hope all goes well for you.

Clare


----------



## kizzi79

Congrats Sohocat    - hope all the blood work came back with positive results.

Welcome Ellie - hope all goes well with your treatment. 

There are some ff singlies meet ups so hopefully will be able to meet in person soon. 

Love, Krissi  x


----------



## IceQueen

Welcome Ellie, you'll get lots of support here.
Hope everything goes well for your first time and you get the best result.

IQ
x


----------



## acrazywench

Hello Ellie, hope you enjoy posting here - everyone is really supportive and friendly so I'm sure you'll find it helpful. Lots of luck with your IVF.

Sohocat - congratulations on your fantastic news. Wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy.

x


----------



## Fraggles

Hi

Crazywench, Hello it's seems like so long, how are you?

F x


----------



## acrazywench

Hey Fraggles,

I'm fine, thanks. Trying to avoid taking down my tree and turning the lights off until the very last moment!*g*

How are things with you?

x


----------



## Fraggles

Crazywench what do you consider the very last moment?

How's the snow with you?

Yep I'm all good first just got cold feet,


Remind me where are you on the next steps?

F x


----------



## GIAToo

Fraggles/acrazywench - had to force myself to take my tree down tonight  

Hope you're both good xx


----------



## kaz_1985

well i am 24 i had 3 ectopic pregnancies before i was 21 i have a string of failed relationships and i want a baby more than anythin in the world its all i have ever wanted so i have decided to go for the doner option using my gay best mate as doner and to be a father to my baby but am scared people will be against it i just need someone to talk to


----------



## RichmondLass

Kaz!  Poor you, what a journey!  Am so pleased you have a lovely known donor to help you.  Sounds like a perfect situation.  Who would be against it?  Are you worried about anyone in particular?  If it's the 'man in the street' what do we care what they think anyway?  

The vast majority of people are curious, interested and supportive I find.  You'll always find the odd (very odd) person who is extremely opinionated and happy to express their opinions at you.  As long as you are comfortable with your decision that's the main thing!

You'll find one or two women on here who have known donors, so they will be better placed to support you but welcome and I hope everything turns out well for you!
RLxx


----------



## Jammy J

Hi kaz

I would say go for it and I think you are very lucky to have a friend as a sperm donor.  For me that would be great but unfortunately do not know anyone so am going to the ESB.

Good luck,
JAH


----------



## Lou-Ann

Ellie and Kaz, welcome to the boards and good luck with your respective journeys 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## kaz_1985

Thankyou I guess I am really lucky, The Guy I have chosen is absolulty amazing and I know I have made the best decision I could Have done. He is the sweetest guy I have ever met. I am so glad I found This site its nice to know I am Not alone in all this.

Thanx

Kaz


----------



## Bridged

Hello to everyone,

I am new to FF, although I have exchanged a few PM's with Richmond Lass.. (thank you so much) whilst I quickly read up on the subject. I seen a few other names that I would like to ask questions of  

I am 43 years soon to be 44, and still wrestiling with my OE versus DE, I know my odds of being fertile and also healthy are greatly diminished, i am waiting FSH and AMH tests and hope that will help come to that decision.  I have opted to go to Spain (as I have connections with the country and feel comfortable with that decision, infact looking forward to some warmer weather and good tapas!  So I need to decide the clinic to which i've just posted my first long thread on the Spanish link under UR Vista Hermosa thread. That seems my favourite so far but I've not ruled out IM in Barca and waiting for more info on the IVI clinics.

Everytime I google something when looking up a fertility topic or a clinic etc, I am surprised by how many links back to FF site there are, I so wish I found this site earlier but I am here now! 

So just a quick hello and good luck to all and be back soon  

Bridged


----------



## GIAToo

Welcome Bridged!  

Good luck with all your decision making and keep in touch  
GIA Too xx


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Bridged, and welcome!  Hope you find the support and information you need on these boards - feel free to post on one of the existing threads or start your own.  

A-Mx


----------



## 9£Bundle

Hi Bridged - Welcome to FF  . I have found this site a great source of info, & support for the wobbly days.  Wishing you the best of luck with your decisions & hope to see you on the other threads.

9£Bundle
x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hello Bridge and welcome to the board . Hope you find all the info you need here to help with your decision making. Good luck!!

Lou-Ann x


----------



## IceQueen

Hi Bridged  

Welcome to the board and good luck!

IQ
x


----------



## lulumead

hello bridged.
xx


----------



## kizzi79

Hi Bridged
The girls on here are all fab and have kept me saine on many a low day. Wishing you well with all your treatment, love Krissi  x


----------



## wishingforanangel

Hi.

I made a post somewhere else on this site but felt maybe....I guess not sure if people felt uncomfortable with it so I deleted it. Sort of a newbie...been here before but not to often...am a single...Guess not sure where I should start being that I feel so isolated...  . Failed all my cycles that I have tried...angry that my body is not working...sad because my depression got worse because I feel like I lost a child I never had...now I am not sure if I am going to be able to proceed with infertility treatments because my medical team no longer support my decision...trying to comply with what they want to get the help I need....feeling like a fish out of water because I don't know if anyone will respond. Feeling like a total freak because I live with depression and my only shot of having a kid now is embryo donation and my chances of that is slim to none if no one will be willing to help me.   I guess maybe this was a place to start....hoping someone would respond so...I don't have to wonder if I am an alien being from another planet...


----------



## Annaleah

Wishingforanangel - I'm still awake so didn't want to read and run. Sending lots of cyber  .  Sounds like you're in a really difficult place at the moment.  I know what it feels like to have a body that lets you down, i'm still angry with mine!  I think all the emotional energy invested in treatment and the emotional turbulence that comes with, can often leave you feeling alone and different.  Lots of women on this thread post with similar feelings during treatment and after failed cycles.  

I know that other women on here have sought alternative specialist medical opinions about specific fertility issues outside of their clinic which has helped them clarify things and make treatment decisions -so maybe worth a thought.  It does sound frustrating and heartbreaking for you to be at odds with your medical team.
I hope you find support and useful info on here.  
Annaleah xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Wishing honey - have been there too - had a total melt down this time last year and was referred to counselling - which I have to say was the best thing for me. 
There are a few of us singlies going down the DE route - some here some in Brno (Reprofit).  Remember you're not alone and we're all here for you honey x x x


----------



## IceQueen

Wishing for an Angel

Like te girls have said there are a few poeple on here doing the donor egg / embryo route, so i a ma sure you will get lots of information from them about it. 
Feeling down about it all is perfectly natural, we all have those moments.  

Hope you everything gets sorted out for you soon.

IQ
x


----------



## indekiwi

Wishing, welcome back hun.  There are plenty of us that are using / have used donor eggs and sperm.  It's not perhaps the first decision that many of us would make (though there are some ladies who do and with some fantastic results  ) but it is a decision that allows people like me, with little or no chance of conceiving with my own eggs, a chance to have a baby.    Picking ourselves up after each tx failure is so heartbreaking, but at least on this forum, there are other people who know exactly how devastating you feel and who reach out to provide the support that they can.    Depression is a horrible thing to battle - you can't see it, can't touch it, but it lurks like an all-encompassing shadow.  There are people and medication that can help if you reach out (a big step in itself  )  Keep posting on the singles board or elsewhere on FF if you can - sometimes it's cathartic, sometime the mere fact that you roll out your thoughts on page / screen helps you to work through your feelings and of course there will often be someone who has experienced the same hurts and thoughts who might be able to provide hope or suggestions on a way forward.

   

A-Mx


----------



## bingbong

Wishing I just wanted to send you a big   I'm so pleased that you found us as this singles board is amazing and everyone on here has such big hearts and always reach out when you need it. I hope that you feel able to keep posting and get lots of support on here  

Bingbong x


----------



## Fraggles

Hi 

Wishing sending hugs   - I have heard the Zita West clinic near Baker Street have a great counsellor for fertility related issues and more general ones too. Not sure how much they charge but if you are interested I can let you have her private details as it may be cheaper to go direct to her. Also, have a look at the Serum Athens board I know Penny the Consultant has been the last hope of a few people who have gone on to have children or the other route is through a fertility nurse called Ruth (same price as going direct but she acts as your point of contact) but she can also answer any questions for you and if you would consider going abroad she has a fertility nurse in Athens who will attend appointments with you and hold your hand so to speak when you go the clinic. PM me if you want details. The clinic speak great English and Penny is adorable. I know some people have contacted her to talk through their issues and she has phoned them at home in the evening to talk through their options.

Know people rate Reprofit too. I agree with everything that Annaleah and Inde say too. We are all here for you.

I am stuck and need help.
I don't know what to do. I have just finished antibiotics to clear up chlamydia. I am tested next month.
AF started yesterday, I ovulate 11/12th day of my cycle. I have an HSG on Wed to check for blocked tubes.
I am considering iui in Czech Republic and would need to fly on Sunday 24th.

However, if I book flight this weekend at £175 if tubes are blocked I can't have treatment and money wasted. If tubes ok and I book later in week the price of flight will be more expensive (£100+ more) and availability may not be there for flight or Grand Hotel.

I am snowed under with commitments for Feb and March so next time I could go is April.

What do you think I should do?

F x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Wishing, welcome back! Sending you lots of   for the way you are feeling right now. I hope you take advantage of the support from all the ladies on here and are able to find a way forward  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## RichmondLass

Wishing
You don't say what decision it is that your medial team don't support? Do you mean continuing to try with your own eggs?  You may find a more sympathetic attitude elsewhere.

No one on here will consider you a freak for considering donor eggs!  As you'll have seen from previous posters, it's something that many women proactively choose and are delighted that it works and enables them to have a much desired family.

Depression and raging hormones are a powerful mix and only the medical professionals will be able to tell you how that will pan out during treatment. But, of course, you take fewer hormones or medication during DE treatment so may not play such havoc with your system.

RLxx

RLx


----------



## wishingforanangel

Hello again.

Thank you all for responding. Almost afraid to come back...afraid that maybe no one would respond because I thought maybe if I said too much people may not know what to say back. 

My medical team here in the United States don't seem to support me moving forward right now because I have been so badly depressed. It seems that they want to help me move forward but I would need to get help with my antidepressants...which never really worked to begin with being that I have been on at least a half a dozen or so if not more...usually on one medication but in recent years in combination of 2 antidepressants at is highest dosage on both. I have been to a couple of doctors to help me get my antidepressants fixed but the doctors are telling me that it may take 6 months to a year to fix. I was just hoping I would be able to go forward sooner than later because I know in that time my situation may get a little bit worse because I am not in the most ideal situation with work, age, and etc. I feel like my medical team expects perfect but I can't get to perfect much less optimal...just stable and if problems occur with my depression it will be fixed on the way. So I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me and now I am trying to find a way to do this in what I think is a reasonable time frame. It's hard for me to understand why they don't understand what I feel. I hate that I have depression, I hate that I have to depend on fertility treatment to get to my kid, and I hate that my ovaries are bad (I have absolutely no problem with embryo donation because I always thought that I would adopt instead of doing IVF but I just feel like if my body has failed me since I was 16 to 17 years old and I am 38 now...so I sit here and wonder if the embies would implant). Hence I am a big fat failure with a lost child I never had...and worsening depression.

Of course I hate doing my fertility treatments here in the United States because I don't know what to expect and I am running around with my head lopped off. Everything is in different places and not very coordinated. I wanted to do my treatments in the UK because of the HFEA, the structure, having some idea of who the donor is, and almost everything is at the clinic (doctor, psychologist, sperm bank, etc.), although it seems some in the UK hate the HFEA structure. Of course my cycles are not exactly going according to plan. Of course if I have to do embryo donation now I think there is a long wait list in the UK...Sigh...


----------



## 9£Bundle

Fraggles - so sorry I missed your post on here. Dropped you a msg on another thread earlier. Hope you are doing OK.  

Wishing - Deciding what to do / where to go for tx is very tough. Constant 2nd guesssing yourself. The waiting in the UK is mostly due to having treatment on NHS. If any of us go Private things speed up a bit. So if money isn't a problem, then here or elsewhere in Europe could still be an option. (Europe seems cheaper)

Are you a Brit based in USA? Or are you a USA citizen? (Just wondering if you'd be allowed NHS tx)

On the depression side of things have you considered, or been offered, CBT? (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) I am no expert by any stretch. But I have known 2 guys try this route after years of pills etc. It def helped them both. It is something I'm told is gaining favour over here, as side effects of medication create controversy and also their limited benefits/dependancy issues. It also seems to have longer lasting benefits. But that is the sum total of my knowledge I'm afraid. It may be worth looking into.


I hope some of that helps. In the mean time   

9£B


----------



## Grace10704

Hi Wishingforanangel
I can't offer any words of wisdom but as you are based in the USA have you found this yahoo group?
[email protected]
There are lots of women on there who have had or do currently have depression issues and they seem to have lots of ideas about what to do and where to go next.  Members of the group are all over the US (and abroad) so you may find someone reasonably local to you or someone who knows a clinic or something nearby who can help.

By the way, 9£B mentions cognitive behavioural therapy - she says she isn't an expert.  Well I am (!) and would really recommend trying it alongside any drug therapies - sometimes the drugs give you enough to make the most of the talking therapy - almost like an aspirin helps you deal with pain.  It might also help your doctors to support you in trying fertility treatment if they see you committing to a range of options to help the other issues.

Just a thought - best wishes with your next steps


----------



## Bridged

Hello girls,

Thank you all so much for the welcome, there were so many of you I was really bowled over with the support and warmth. I will certainly become more active on here and have heaps of questions to ask and this site is incredible for the amount of info on it.  Thanks for the couple of PM's too, I am going to pay the subscription to support this site, plus it will give me a bigger inbox !!   as i've never been good at housekeeping mail!

Wishing, I am sending you a  massive cyber hug    and   , keep talking and posting up here whilst you wait for appointments etc and I would definitely recommend some CBT, I had 6 sessions in 2007 after my m/c on the NHS (it was a 3 month waiting list but definitely worth it   )

Well girls, I've booked my first consult in Spain   in just over 2 weeks time   
so have a fair few questions to ask but really excited. I have my FSH and AMH tests back, not really understanding them fully and all the other test results, so need to go through them with the clinic but think I'll book an appt with GP too. 

Well love and hugs to all...

Bridged xx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi there,
New on here in the last week.
I am 30  and single and have just started the adoption process and have my first info session in 2 weeks time  
I have learnt soooooo much from this site and the internet in general!
I do have another query though and would appreciate anyone who can help . . . . . . 
If i were to meet someone whilst going through this process, would this affect anything at all and if so how?
Many thanks xx


----------



## bingbong

wishing   I hope that you get lots of support here and from sites in the States  

Bridged, welcome and congrats on your appt!!! So exciting to get going. Everyone is here so feel free to ask as many questions as you want. I'm about to have my first tx abroad and have been asking millions of questions on the singles abroadies thread so you might want to pop along to there and ask away  

Kittykat welcome   I have no idea about meeting someone but hopefully someone will be along soon.  

Bingbong x


----------



## 9£Bundle

Bridged - Wahey! Thats great news. Gotta be better having   kinda tx than the     kind I'm going for here!   I will leave the FSH & AMH chats to the more informed ladies on here. They will def be along & boy do they know their onions. 

9£B
xx


----------



## kittykat1234

Many thanks bingbong and good luck with your journey  xxx


----------



## 9£Bundle

Hiya Kittykat,

Our posts crossed there I think, so welcome!   I can't answer your question but if you look on the main section of the boards there is a  Lawyer section. THey are probably your best bet, or they'll point you in the right direction I'm sure. You can post publicly or send them a PM if you'd rather.

9£B
x


----------



## wishingforanangel

I wish there was a sad smile as an emotioncon on here. Even though I am still sad, I want to smile because all of you have been kind to respond and try to help which makes me feel better in knowing that I am not alone. 

aah. 9 pound bundle (sorry no British pound sign on American computer keyboards). I didn't know the wait was for NHS...I thought there was a wait because of the openness of the HFEA regulations...course it is hard for me to be fully aware of everything in about the fertility treatments in the UK being that I am American...Hmm on the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy...I have never tried that before...mostly just talking...I think maybe the doctor I see tomorrow would be able to help me with that....

Also thank you Grace10704 for the information about the yahoo support group. I just never really thought about all the support available online. Sort of fell into this forum when I was searching for a clinic and interviewing a Clinic in London in 2008. Sad to say that I had to let go of using the Clinic in London because my first cycle went to rapidly so I would have never have made it to the Clinic in London to get my first treatment so I had to use my current infertility specialist....so sort of also why I didn't return to this forum....feeling like I didn't belong really...

But I am thankful that all of you are here because I need all the positive thoughts I could get...Hopefully I my depression will get under control soon so I would be of help to all of you when you need me to.

Kittykat good luck on your adoption...Bingbong and Bridged thank you very much for the cyberhugs...I'm a the type of person who loves hugs...which my nephews and niece would be able to attest to being that I ask them for a tons upon tons of hugs when I see them.


----------



## GIAToo

Hi Wishing - glad you are finding this site helpful.  I have suffered from bouts of depression over the last 10 years and I have found that "Mindfulness" really helps me.  It stops me ruminating over the negative things that have happened and my negative thoughts.  There is a great book called "The Mindful Way Through Depression" (can't remember the authors but there are four of them) and it comes with a CD to help you "meditate" etc.  Lots of different exercises actually.  My counsellor recommended it as I did not want to conquer my depression by coming on and off tablets.  It has really helped me, but it might not be for everyone    Godd luck at the Doctos/counsellors.  

Everyone else, if you wanna meet up on 6th Feb I'm having lunch at mine OR if lots of people want to meet but don't want to travel to West London I am happy to organise something more central.   

Take care everyone 
GIA Tooxxx


----------



## wishingforanangel

Thanks goingitalonetoo on the mindfulness book. Sorry to hear that you suffer from bouts of depression too. It's an awful thing to live with and wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Also I wanted to thanks all the other ladies who provided cyberhugs to me in recent days. Didn't mean to excluded any of you. Hope I didn't offend but somehow I think everyone here would understand being distracted with other things so to notice other things....


----------



## kaz_1985

Hi Guys Just A Quick Update I Have now decided not to go with the donor option for my ivf and to just see how things go this is not because of anything that has been said to me but just due to me thinking alot about the situation and deciding although i really do want a child i didnt wanna rush into things i just wanna take this opportunity to thank you all for your support and Hope i can still learn a lot from you all to prepare me for my experience when i do decide the time is right.

Love to Ya All 

xx Kaz xx


----------



## indekiwi

Good luck Kaz - we all try and make the best decisions for our individual circumstances, and clearly you've been able to come to a decision that works for you.  

Take care!

A-Mx


----------



## HAPPYDAZE

Hi i'm new to this so appologies if I'm posting this in the wrong place. 
I am newly single and have decided to 'go it alone'. I'm 42 and have an  AMH of 0.07 and FSH of 9.8, so pretty much no hope. I am currently under Homerton, but not yet started treatment.  I'm not sure I want to continue with them as they've messed me around a bit and I've lost faith in them. I was considering the Lister, but with the odds sooo stacked against me I thought it could be alot of money to waste. I was also considering going abroad. However it seems there are alot of countries that won't treat single women. Can anyone please tell me which countries in europe treat singles? Does anyone have any positive experiences of the clinics  or advice.  
Thank you for your help


----------



## 9£Bundle

Hi ****** - I'm pretty sure Denmark, Greece & South Africa treat single ladies. But there are others. If you look on the main board & scroll down you will find the International section. (I tried to copy the link , but stuffed it up! Oops!)

Hope that helps, a bit anyway. And welcome!  

9£B
x


----------



## IceQueen

Welcome ******  
You've come to the right place, you'll get lots of good advice from the girls here.  
Good luck

IQ
x


----------



## 9£Bundle

****** - I'm back again! Hope this link works (its not the main Intenational thread but hopefully the ladies here (single & abroad) is a good place for you to post your Qs)

Hope it works this time 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=222300.0

9£B
x


----------



## GIAToo

Hi ****** - welcome  

As you know I'm at the Lister.  The way I looked at it wasif I was going to do this I wanted to give myself the best chance, so I chose the Lister for it's reputation with older women - time will tell the result, but my consultant gave me the best odds I had heard or seen for my age.  I have also heard of really good things about clinics abroad though.
Ask me anything you like about the Lister (or anything) else if you want specifics  

Take care and congrats on joining this rather lovely group of ladies   
GIA Too xx


----------



## HAPPYDAZE

Hi everyone thank you for the lovely welcome  
I'ts good to know I'll have a place to come when I'm feeling lost,  which is most of the time at the moment...... 
My big decisions are A)  where to buy my sperm....... any suggestions?  I tried European sperm bank but were put off by the extra £1000 'pregnanncy slot' which I don't really understand anyway....
I'm now looking at Cryos, but I think that has a £500 xtra.  
Can anyone help. I need it pretty soon, as I have a nursed apt on 11/02/10. 
Hi GIA, hope everything is going well at the Lister, i think I'm leaning more and more towards them......... 

I read somewhere on here that you can buy your medication on line and it saves alot of money. Is this true.Would I be looking at £10k with meds at the Lister?

sorry for all the questions  
******


----------



## GIAToo

Hi ******

I got my sperm from Xytex who were great. I got 4 vials of sperm (should be enough for 4 cycles) and with all the costs (shipping, Admin and storage fees at Lister and 3 months access to the website) it came to £1875.
The cost of this cycle so far *without *meds is £5478 and that includes ICSI, first consultation, initial blood tests, monitoring blood tests, initial scan and HFEA fee. I didn't pay for my meds (very lucky) but the others should be able to help you with that. So I would say you're looking at nearly £7-8k, hence why I'm not sure I will be able to do another cycle at Lister. 

GIA Tooxx


----------



## HAPPYDAZE

Hi GIA Too, thanks for that  
Have you managed to get your meds via your local health authority?  It's just that I think I'll need a really intense regime and therefore expensive and have heard it can cost 2-3k!! Which really pushes the cost up   
I hope everything is progressing well with your cycle  

Any advice from anyone on getting the medication cheaper, will be greatly appreciated? 

thank you all for your kind words  
******


----------



## wishingforanangel

hi ****** 1

I won't be able to help you with ideas with were to get the medications at low cost since I live in the United States. Definitely would not recommend anyone coming here for treatment just because doctors here do different things in regards to treatment although the doctors are suppose to follow certain guidelines. Course if you do decided to come to the US, if you try a fertility clinic that is part of a University medical center it generally should be fine.

If you go outside of the UK, I don't think you are able to go to the Czech Republic at Retrofit because they told me they could not help me since I was single...course it could also be that I am single and need to deal with embryo donation....

Hope this helps you.

*Sigh* I......I guess I am not sure if I should be sad or concerned...I am seeing a different fertility specialist this week to ask for a second opinion but I just received an odd message from my current fertility specialist's staff about her sending me a letter...did send her a fax last week to ask her to explain what she needed from me to continue my treatment...I guess it won't break my heart if she decided to drop me as a patient because I was never really clear as to what the plan was from her but I hate surprises....


----------



## Damelottie

Hello there

Just wanted to clarify regarding Reprofit in Czech Republic. They will treat you if you're single (I have my son from embryo donation from there) but it IS illegal to treat single women. So they may not ask you many questions etc about your status. It might be better to not necessarily mention it immediately. Or even at all unless you feel it is relevant.

Kind regards

LL xx


----------



## Delight

Hi All!!!

I am new to this site...so even just figuring out how it works!
I do have a few questions and will get through them bit by bit.

Is anyone familiar with the procedure with the fertility clinics in the Netherlands?

Really short bit about me. I am from Trinidad and Tobago, but now live in the Netherlands. It think in Trinidad the procedure is a easy straight forward one. I am in touch with two clinics there. Have done bloods and ultra-sound and the next question for them is 'when am I ready?'..Just give them a call and they will sort everything out. My thing about doing it there is that...i have read people trying so many times that flying back and forth to Trinidad 8 times (if it came to that) is prohibitive. But to be honest, if it were a one shot thing i would go home to do it. So I thought it wise to explore the options closer to me

My other question(s) to that is;
Does anyone know how to go about this in the Netherlands?

Can I do the same in the UK? How do I start to figure out where to go in the UK? What doctors? What fertility clinics? What sperm bank? Will I be on a list waiting for a donor? What is the waiting time for donors, or on the donor list? Do I just need to get my name on a list?

Are there better places than the Netherlands of the UK that I can approach?

I am pretty much at the beginning of learning how this is done in Europe and would really appreciate getting as much info as possible so i know what to do next.

Thanks so much

[and forgive me if i do not quite get how to reply as yet to your responses]
xxx
Delia


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Delight and ******, and welcome!

******, I think your other points have been addressed, but you can pick up your meds from a number of pharmacies or have them courier your meds to you at a significant discount to what you would pay through your clinic.  I think there is a sticky thread (ie one that doesn't move from the top of the board) on the main IVF Board on FF which gives you the names and numbers of the cheapest places around.  You should still get quotes from three or four to ensure you get things as cheaply as possible.  On a separate subject, I know Papillon posted a while back on the countries where single women can undergo fertility tx - if you do a search, you should find her post from a while back.  

Delight, not sure that any of the singles crew have looked into tx in the Netherlands - none that I recall posting about it at any rate.  Have a look at the international section on FF and there may well be a thread for ladies undergoing tx in the Netherlands.  You might also want to read through the general IVF thread about tx in the UK (including costs), and there is also a thread dedicated to reviews of clinics.  Waiting times for donors depend on the particular clinic you have tx at.  Clinics that the single ladies posting on this board have used in the UK include the Lister, LWC, LFC, CRM, Bourne Hall and UCL from memory, though others can add to the list.  Some of the UK clinics will not treat single women, but the ones mentioned above do.  You would also do well to look on the Spanish, Greek and Czech boards for further information on tx in those countries, and again, read down the Singles IVF thread for further information.  

A general point ladies - to be honest, until you have researched these threads further and have more specific questions, it is difficult to point you in the right direction!  Anyway, hope this helps as a starter.  

A-Mx


----------



## OneStepAtATime

Hi Delia
Welcome and good to see you posting on here  We were in contact by email (I don't use my real name on here - as you see I'm OneStepAtATime - a good motto for all this I think!).

Just a thought - the HFEA website has names of different UK clinics, their success rates and some info about treatment etc: http://www.hfea.gov.uk/ That might give you some idea about where the clinics are and what's on offer (combined with whatever info you get from this website).

Hope you find some useful info on here. When you start getting info and thoughts together, you'll no doubt have more questions - keep asking (the combined knowledge of the ladies on here is amazing). 
Best wishes
OneStep

/links


----------



## wishingforanangel

LadyLottie said:


> Hello there
> 
> Just wanted to clarify regarding Reprofit in Czech Republic. They will treat you if you're single (I have my son from embryo donation from there) but it IS illegal to treat single women. So they may not ask you many questions etc about your status. It might be better to not necessarily mention it immediately. Or even at all unless you feel it is relevant.
> 
> Kind regards
> 
> LL xx


oops. I mentioned that I was single early on trying to figure out there policy.


----------



## Damelottie

Don't worry - so did I  . But some people got told NO! Probably depends how you speak to. It'll work out xx


----------



## Delight

Thanks A-Mx and OneStep for the advice and info so far.

I have the HFEA in the UK and the FREYA in the Netherlands to check up.....as well as the other international websites - i discovered those Monday or Tuesday.  As you say, when I have looked at these and have more info then i am sure to have more questions!!!

thanks much and will keep in touch
Delight


----------



## Lou-Ann

****** and Delight, just wanted to wish you luck with your respective journeys   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## wishingforanangel

LadyLottie said:


> Don't worry - so did I . But some people got told NO! Probably depends how you speak to. It'll work out xx


yes it will


----------



## wishingforanangel

Happydaze

I think that you may be better off at Lister if you feel that they suit you better. If things work out at Homerton it may not be a waste of time but if they have no plan for you...

The fertility specialist I was working with...I was never completely at easy with her because I was never really clear as to what her plan was. One minute she is helping me next minute she is not. I am left with feeling stress and frustration because I am not in control of my own treatment.

I don't regret having gone through with my fertility treatments with the chance of having my child but I do regret going through it with the doctor I had. I feel that I have wasted sooo much time, energy, money, and emotional effort working with her…especially since I found out today that she didn’t do as much testing as other fertility specialists do in terms of finding out the causes of one’s infertility issues. If she did further testing I may have had better results. I guess it was a good decision to get a second opinion from a different fertility specialist.

Go with your instincts HappyDaze…..


----------



## Minnie35

Hi everybody, I'm new to this, so HELLOOOOO! 

I was so relieved to find you all on this site, and I'm at the stage where I've got a couple of questions I wonder if you can help with...

After a year and a half's intensive soul searching (what a journey!) I am finally ready to go it alone, and am (among other emotions!) really excited about it.  I live in Leeds and have booked into Manchester Fertility Service for a consultation and tests etc... I had understood that it was the nearest clinic that treats single women, but have since found that Sheffield Care do too (distance from me, and price, is much of a muchness between the two). Looking on all the threads here on the forum I've not seen any reference to either of these places... I'm just wondering if anyone's had any experience of either of them, and whether there's an obvious one I should choose.  I'm also a bit concerned that I've not heard anyone mention them becuase people have chosen to go elsewhere because of bad experiences...? And if not, what things would you look out for when choosing between them?

The other question is... are there any other teachers out there? I'm a teacher and so I can't book days off work. By the time I finish work and get to Manchester or Sheffield the clinics'd be closed.  If there are any teachers out there, I'm wondering how you got to zoom off for treatment when it was time, and whether you told the school what was going on, and how it was received....?

I really hope I've posted in the right place... if it's better to start a thread with these questions it'd b fab if someone could let me know....

Hello to you all again and thanks! 

M xxxxxxx


----------



## wishingforanangel

Hi Minnie35.

I wish I could help you with your search in regards to clinics in your area but unfortunately if I use a Clinic in the UK, I would have to use one in London...Hopefully one of the other ladies will be able to help you with some information. 

Just wondering if you have family and medical leave in regards to your teaching job....maybe you would be able to use that time to obtain your fertility treatment....of course more often than not you really won't need to take the whole day off unless you are doing an egg retrieval and embryo transfer from what I have read. Are you able to time your treatment to a certain extent around Spring or Summer breaks (or vacations from school)?

Sorry if I am no help to you but I am glad you here.


----------



## GIAToo

Hi Minnie  - welcome!

I can't help re: the two clinics you mention, but I did a search on teachers and found a couple of threads, one of which is below;

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=131520.0

If you do a search and look for threads with "teacher" in subject headings only, you'll get more threads from teachers and info about how they get round attending appointments etc. Hope that helps

GIA Too xx


----------



## HAPPYDAZE

Thanks for the advice, wishingforanangel   
I think you may be right I think I should go with my instinct........  the Homerton never got back to me with the info I needed to buy the sperm and today was the last day I could order it (need it before my apt on 11/02/10 or they cancel apt). I called last Friday 29/01/10 and no call back. Emailed monday and wednesday and called again today. No response from embyology guys!! I called Lister today to sort out a consultation. Does anyone have a consultant that they were happy with at the Lister? Is it normal at clinics to find it hard to speak to people? Am I expecting too much?
I'm going to email the consultant at the Homerton and explain what's happened. He's really nice, but I'm just not getting anywhere  
Good luck GIAToo.  Hope everything goes well  .  Really good news


----------



## indekiwi

Hi ******, I think you've been treated poorly and should consider moving.  The Lister has great stats but is reasonably expensive from all accounts.  I haven't been to LWC, which is somewhat cheaper, but plenty of the ladies posting on here have - might this be another option for you?  I am currently at CRM London and very pleased with their services (above and beyond the growing bump  ) but they may also be a bit pricey in comparison to CRM.  Hopefully someone else will be along with some ideas for you.  

Welcome Minnie.    I think the reason that you haven't read so many references to either Sheffield Care or MFS on the singles boards is simply a result of geography - relatively few of us live in your direction.  I think Muddypaws bought her sperm from the latter (which I think has a good sperm bank) but was treated in Bath.  You might want to check the regional threads for Leeds, Manchester and Sheffield as there will be plenty of ladies posting there about their tx in those particular clinics.  Regarding teachers and tx, we have a number posting on the Singles board (Upsy Daisy, Kylecat, GoingitAlone spring to mind) - all three post on the bumps and babes board and may not read the welcome thread, so you might want to seek them out and send them a PM (personal message).

A-Mx


----------



## upsydaisy

Hi Minnie, fellow teacher here   off too bed in a sec as totally done in  

I didn't tell anyone at work about TTC.  It was all a bit of a crazy juggling act involving little white lies, whopping big fibs, running off to train stations during lunch hours and dubious use of a PGCE student to cover the class!  But hey ho it all worked out in the end and I still have the same job in the same school (part time now).  It shocked the socks off a few people when they found out but everyone has been amazingly supportive since.

Best of luck, feel free to PM me if you want details of whopping big fibs and how to tell them  
Upsy
xxx


----------



## some1

Hello to all the newbies and welcome to our threads!

Minnie - please don't worry about the fact that none of us seem to have used MFS or Sheffield.  As Inde says, it really is just down to geography, for some reason there are hardly of us posting here who live in the northwest.  I do remember a couple of people posting on here (and several on the LGBT (Lesbian) board who have used MFS, and I've not heard anything bad about them at all.  In fact MFS certainly had (possibly still has) an excellent reputation for sperm availability due to their proactive approach to recruiting donors.  I am not a teacher, but was working in a school when I was TTC (trying to conceive).  I was truthful, but not explicit, about what I was doing, simply saying that I had a series of gynaecological appointments.  Nobody asked any questions about this (it was helped, I suppose, by the fact that my treatment was at my local women's hospital, so my leave of absence requests just said 'appointment at women's hospital/clinic').  Are you a primary or secondary teacher?  I think it is probably more difficult to go out for appointments at a primary without everyone noticing and asking where you have gone!  PS If you want to start your own thread so that everyone on the boards sees it (and not just those of us who check the welcome thread) go for it - we're a very friendly bunch and you are likely to get lots of replies!

Some1

xx


----------



## blueytoo

****** - I have used the LWC for 3 cycles and the Lister for 5 cycles and the Lister wins hands down. They are lovely. My consultant was Jaya Parikh and she is the best! I've never known anyone to say they didn't like her. She is very open to trying new things and she actually listens to what you want/feel/think as well. I've seen all the consultants there at one time or another for various appointments but Jaya rocks. The thing I love about the Lister is that you can request your own consultant to do EC and ET if they are available even if it's not their rostered day for doing EC's or ET's.

Claire xx


----------



## wishingforanangel

******* and minnie good luck with finding a clinic for yourselves.


----------



## Lou-Ann

minnie, welcome   and good luck finding a clinic 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## HAPPYDAZE

Hi Ladies, sadly I finally gave up on the Homerton today and booked an apt at the Lister with Jaya for 2nd March  .  I never got to speak to the embyologist at the Homerton. It's a shame because I liked the Consultant, he's a really nice man and I would have liked to be treated there. But I just can't afford to waste any time. 
Any tips you have with regards to getting things going at the Lister would be really, really welcome    ANY little gems of wisdom greatly appreciated!

thanks for all your help, I feel more positive since I've joined this website  

I think you may well save my sanity

******


----------



## blueytoo

****** - when you see Jaya you will either also see the nurse at the same time or have another appointment to do that. If you so wish the Lister normally allows you to start treatment with your very next AF provided all your tests are ok. Jaya will tell you what type of treatment and protocol is right for you.

If you have had any tests or treatment at another clinic then write and get them copied and sent to you and then take them with you your consultation as this will be a big help to them and mean you won't have to have any tests repeated as long as your results are recent. 

You don't need to do anything else until you have been there. Unless things have changed, you won't have to call to chase the sperm, what happens is when it is time for you to choose, the embryologist will call you. It is common for it to be hard to get through to an embryologists department because of the nature of the work they do, it is time sensitive. At the Lister normally someone from admin takes a message and then you will be called back.

I hope that helps. As I said I had 5 cycles there so if you have any other questions, feel free to ask and I will try my best to help.


----------



## HAPPYDAZE

Thank you so much Feistyblue for your advice, much appreciated


----------



## Minnie35

What a completely lovely lot you are - thank you all so much for the advice, welcome, help, links, suggestions and reassurance!  I'm going ahead with MFS  - thanks for the reassurance about the clinics everyone.  Upsy Daisy and Some1, it was really useful to hear how you both dealt with school (i'm in a secondary school)... I think I might do a bit of truth-stretching too, so I may be in touch Upsy Daisy for some top tips! 

Really thanks to ALL of you, I'm really glad to have joined in with you all. Yay!
Minnie xxxxxxxxx


----------



## bingbong

Hi Leedsdancer,

A lot of us singles on here have used donor sperm and many have had IVF and some (like myself) have PCOS. Probably best to have a bit of a read and ask more specific questions so that we can help you best.

Big welcome to FF, it really is a wonderful place and you will get a lot of support

Bingbong x


----------



## Teela

Welcome Leedsdancer

I am currently on 2WW using donor sperm as a single mother by choice. Previous 3 * IUI unsucessful
and just been through my first IVF. If you have any specific questions all the ladies on these boards
are very knowledgeable and very helpful. Best thing is have a read through the boards as BB suggested.

Hugs
Teela
x


----------



## bingbong

Leedsdancer I suggest that you look at this area http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=242.0 that's for people in the North East so I assume covers Leeds. People there may be able to help you with costings etc, as far as I know no one on the singles board has had tx in Leeds but may well be wrong. You won't get funding as a single woman. Most clinic websites have lots of info including prices so have a look there as that might help too.

bingbong x


----------



## GIAToo

Leedsdancer - Good luck for Monday        
GIA tooxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Leedsdancer,

Good luck, we are on different journeys but never the less good luck, its all for the same outcome, to have a family  

I too am single and desperate for a little one! I have wanted to adopt for years but do one day also want my own but that will only happen when the time is right for the little one i adopt and if thats never (if another child would upset little one too much) then so be it and thats a risk i am willing to take!

I would be interested to follow your journey and all the best with it!! How exciting for you  

xxx


----------



## Minnie35

Hi Leedsdancer - I live in Leeds too and am also just about to start trying as a single mum using donor sperm. The nearest places I could find who treat single women are Sheffield Care and Manchester Fertility Clinic.  I went for my first appointment (consultation and counselling) yesterday at Manchester. They do not have a waiting list for sperm and, after you have gone through various tests (bloods, scan) you can proceed as soon as you want to.

The costs at Manchester are about £1050 for DIUI and £3000 for IVF.  The initial tests are also several hundred but your GP will be willing to do most of the blood tests, which cuts the cost quite a bit! 

Hope this is useful, and best of luck on Monday   - which clinic are you going to?

Minnie xxx


----------



## hjanea

Hi all! I'm another newbie and yet another from Leeds.
I'm 41 and have a dd who's 5 (normal conception). I have been ttc via diy donor artificial insemination for 2 years. I had a chem pg in september 08, but nothing since. My gp referred me to Leeds and I had my first appointment yesterday with a really lovely sympathetic registrar. She has asked for my gp to do bloods and swabs. She wasn't sure of their policy on treating single women as it has changed and found out that I have to have counselling to see if I am a suitable person to be a single parent. If I am suitable then she was suggesting IVF with donor sperm ASAP, or to go on the donor embryo route but I would've thought that that will have a long waiting list. I was quite surprised at the costs which I had thought would be significantly more, however they don't include the drugs. Does anyone know how much they cost? I have another appointment in 6 weeks and if they will treat me I'm going to have to be able to compare them with going abroad for tx-either with my donor and my eggs or donated or using donor embryos. So much to think about!!!
My donor has gone with other recipients as a 'partner' so this might also be an option but would have to be Sheffield or Manchester.
Anyway I'm looking forward to getting to know you all.


----------



## Minnie35

Hello Hjanea, wow it's good to know there are a few of us in Leeds!  Good luck with all the thinking and deciding... there's so bloomin' much of it on this journey! Keep us updated!

Just a bit of extra info I learnt yesterday about going with your donor as 'partner' to Manchester or Sheffield - it was mentioned to me at my appointment yesterday that if you go for treatment with a known donor, the donor goes through the same screening process as the clinic's donors. This process is done over several months and costs about £1000, and has to be done.

I'd love to know where you were referred to in Leeds, as I drew a blank in Leeds and have ended up pursuing it in Manchester; if it's possible in Leeds and I could actually do it here, that'd be so much better! 

Minnie xxx


----------



## hjanea

Hi Minnie, my GP was very understanding and referred me to St James's with a letter explaining how I had been ttc. I am now under Mrs Sharma I think, I'll go and check the letter,yes it was. The reproductive centre is now at Seacroft. Everyone was very pleasant, though seemed to be having teething problems with the computer system!!! Anyhow it was Mrs Sharmas registrar that I saw.
It amazed me that they were so open about prices, and they are much less than I anticipated-£2650 ish for IVF not including the drugs-it must be them that bump the price up.
Anyhow good luck!
H.xxx


----------



## Minnie35

Thanks H, I'll look into that! Good luck too! x


----------



## SianH

Hi, this is my first post, it's a little scary but everyone seems very friendly so here goes...

I'm 36 years old and considering single motherhood by donor conception.  I had an unplanned pregnancy which ended in miscarriage last year and I was devastated.  Although unplanned, I was so excited and happy at the thought of being a mother.  I didn't realise how much I wanted to be a mum until I was actually pregnant.  The father, who is a very good friend, lives abroad and although he decided he would come back to the UK to be part of the baby's life I had several weeks of dealing with the possibility of doing it alone, and I knew I could do it.  

So in trying to find even the tiniest positive thing out of losing my baby I realised that the experience had given me the strength to start considering the possibility of doing it alone and not having to wait to find the right person.  I honestly don't think its an option I would have ever considered if I had not been through the experiences of the past 6 months.  

I've read several books on the subject, had a consultation at a fertility clinic with a doctor and a counsellor, spoken to close friends and family but I would also love the opportunity to talk to other people considering it and those who have done it.

Sian xx


----------



## lulumead

Hello Sian

Very sorry to hear about the loss of your baby  

Welcome to our lovely supportive and very knowledgeable group. You will probably have any question you ever think of being answered by the ladies on here, they know more than some doctors!!

There's loads of threads so post wherever fits!

Good luck, look forward to sharing your journey to a happy result.

Hello to other newbies too, that I might not have said hi too!

Lx


----------



## bingbong

Hi Sian and welcome to our ever expanding group   As lulu said there are heaps of very knowledgable people on here so feel free to post wherever and ask away   

bingbong x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Welcome to all our Newbies. Good luck with your respective journeys . As some of the other ladies have already said, you will find a wealth of info and support here 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## ambergem

Hello!

Another newbie! I've already "met" a couple of you who have replied to my post on the main intro's thread- thank you for directing me here!

I'm 34 and single. I decided to try for a baby on my own in November 2008 after loads of soul-searching. I still get sad sometimes because i never imagined this was how things would turn out but i know I'm doing the right thing and am now just praying it'll be my turn soon  


I have had 2 failed DIUI's, a failed IVF and failed FET all at LWC. Problem everytime was poor uterine lining/blood supply which was treated last time with Viagra and improved a little. 

I am now waiting to start another cycle of IVF soon. I'm having long protocol with pill this time (i had short last time). I cant wait to get started, am going to try acupuncture this time to try and help with lining issues. 

I think i read somewhere on here about the possibility of organising donor sperm myself from abroad, i wasn't aware i could do this. is anyone able to give me any more info please?? Also does anyone know if the LWC would be OK with this? Ive not had a very positive experience with their donor bank so far.

Sian- very sorry to hear of your loss. Please get in touch if you would like any info on any of the treatments I've had.

Good luck to everyone   xx

Lx


----------



## Fraggles

Bing, just tried to pm you to see how you are - your inbox is full! How are you? How about meeting up? I was your neck of the woods very briefly today.

Fraggles x


----------



## acrazywench

Hi Linz75, welcome to the thread. I've imported sperm from the ESB (European Sperm Bank) to LWC and I think you can also import from Xytech (which I've probably spelt wrong!) I preferred ESB as you can get far more info about the donor. You do have to pay an extra £1000 to ESB for a 'pregnangy slot' and you will have to pay LWC about £250 per year for storage, but if you order 3 or more vials it starts to work out cheaper than LWC's sperm plus you know your donor is guaranteed before starting tx rather than having a new donor for each treatment. 

Welcome to all the other newbies - I hope you enjoy this board and find the info you need  

x


----------



## SianH

Hi all, and thanks for the lovely welcome.

Linz - I also have that sadness because I never dreamt this was how it would turn out either, I guess none of us do and it's normal to feel sad.  However I also feel a sense of relief that I don't have the stress of having to find someone first.  I'm so fed up of dating! So like you it has taken a lot of soul searching over the past few months to get where I am today.

I've had my initial consultations at the LWC and I also wasn't aware that you could import sperm from abroad.  Something to look in to I think.

Sian x


----------



## LoubyLou42

Hi Everyone

Another newbie here - have found you all after posting on the DC Network forum but looks like there is more going on here.  I'm 42, single and have my first appointment with Wessex Centre in southampton on Wednesday.  I've been round in circles trying to make a decision about which clinic to use and keep on finding more information which gets a little over-whelming.  Have opted for local over London but now think that might be wrong - any advice on what's REALLY important to look for in a clinic would be great.  All stats for the over 40's are frightening but I guest you've got to start somewhere.

Like most of you I've been dating on and off and have finally put that 'ball' down - such a relief.  If I don't give this a go I'll never know and having a child is the only thing I've ever wanted.  Really hope I haven't left it too late but am feeling positive so fingers crossed!  I think the Wessex automatically go for IVF if you are over 40 - which I don't think is a problem?  But they do have a waiting list for UK sperm so use the ESB - any recent experiences of that would be great.  Have been told to look at US options as ESB charge £2K.

Looking forward to chatting with lots of you.

Thanks

LoubyLou42


----------



## bingbong

So great to have some many newbies joining us   the support that I have received on here has been invaluable. 

Regarding importing sperm from abroad ESB does it but charges a £1K pregnancy slot   another option is xytex in America, it doesn't charge a pg slot and gives you loads of info on the donor so that might be an option to look at. I've heard nothing buy positive from people using xytex. 

Wishing you lots of luck on your journey's, feel free to post anywhere on here and ask away   

bingbong x


----------



## sweet1

Hi to all the newbies! I am a realtive newbie myself here still wating to start tx.

I am going to import from Xytex, as I think they seem a great option - you get loads of info about the donors. Anything that also avoids this £1000 preg slot (which seems extortionate to me) is also a bonus I think.

I also know what you mean about the relief of not having to think about dating anymore! 

Good luck everyone, the support and freindship on here is amazing x


----------



## Damelottie

Hello LoubyLou42 

Welcome 

Personally, I find the stats and information a little overwelming. I'm always a little suspicious of stats anyway .
Some clinics have reputations for being better at treating one thing or another, so its worth knowing _if_ any particular fertility issues rear their ugly head.

Mostly tho, I think its just important to go where you feel the most relaxed and 'safe' . Local is always good because you might find yourself going for scans etc, and taking some travel out of the occasion helps.

Some of us go abroad. I did because of the significantly lower costs, and lower waiting time for the type of treatment I wanted.

Good luck

LL xxx


----------



## Baby Blue

Hello 

I joined yesterday.  What a great web site.

I look forward to chatting on-line and maybe making one or two new friends along the way too...  

I wish you all the very best of luck on your journey.

Baby Blue


----------



## GIAToo

Just wanted to welcom all the newbies    Good luck with your journeys whatever they may entail   

I used Xytex and they were great.  As others have said, lots of info on the donors, no pregnancy slot and great customer service.  My   was very good and fertilised my one good egg without the need of ICSI  

Glad I'm not the only one who has given up on dating!  

 to all my single buddies - I'm gradually coming out of the fog  
GIA Tooxx


----------



## Damelottie

GIA2 -   

Hello again to all our newbies   

Please jump in with whichever threads you like. I hope you all stick around   

We seem to have had a lot of new people that don't stay with us  .

GOOD LUCK xxx


----------



## SianH

Hi All,

I'm gearing up to join the roller coaster ride of ttc.  I have a few questions.

Firstly I know I need to get an FSH and LH test done, which I understand has to be around day 3.  Does anyone know if your GP will do these?

Also does LWC let you use imported sperm?

Sian xx

PS should I be posing these sort of questions here, or joining/starting another thread?


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi Sian,

and welcome  

it's fine to ask here, or if you want to set up a new thread, that's fine too...we don't really have any rules as such!

Most GPs will do your LH/FSH, some can be unsympathetic if they know you are planning to have private fertility tx as a single woman, but in general I think most of us have found they will at least do the basic tests at the GP, but as soon as any real money is involved, it's a different matter  

Not sure re LWC and imported sperm. They have a large sperm bank and obviously make money from this. That said, if you particularly wanted to import, I can't imagine they would refuse. Be aware that you will need to import sperm which meets the HFEA criteria (ie ID release donor, no more than 10 preg slots per donor etc) - this can increase costs (eg ESB charges an extra £1000 for this...)

Best of luck,
Suitcase
x


----------



## some1

Hello and welcome to Sian, Linz, LoubyLou and Baby Blue - glad you have found us and hope we can be helpful!

some1

xx


----------



## acrazywench

Hi Sian, 

Welcome to the board, I'm sure you'll find everyone here helpful. 

The doctor and nurses at my GP's were happy to do all but the HIV test for me - and the only reason they didn't do that was because they didn't want me to be stuck with a record of it in my notes. They were also happy to do the AMH test for me - which I've since found out is kind of rare as it's quite an expensive test that isn't commonly available through the NHS.

I've imported sperm from the ESB to LWC and I think they can also arrange imports from Xytex. 

x


----------



## SianH

Hey girls,

I just have to say how great it is to have found you all!

I've got an appointment with my GP next week.  I'm going to ask for the FSH/LH/AMH and see what they say.  I had the usual bloods done in September last year when I found out I was PG and all the results were fine, but after the m/c the hospital kept my maternity notes.  I'm hoping my GP will be able to help me get confirmation that all the tests were fine so I don't have to pay to have them all done again before starting treatment.

The reason I'm thinking about importing sperm is that you seem to have a much bigger choice and are able to find out much more about the donor from either ESB or xytex.  Am I right in thinking this is the case?  To me it's going to be important to be able to tell my child as much about their biologial father as possible to make them seem more real and less clinical, if that makes any sense.

Sian x


----------



## ambergem

Hey everyone!

Sian- yes definitely ask your GP about the blood tests, mine was really good and also did all my initial tests except the HIV which LWC did for me. I've just been today to get FSH/LH done again. Also ask if they're prepared to prescibe any of the meds for you. I have to have supplemental estrogen because of my dodgy lining and if you go for ivf you'll need progesterone pessaries, both of which my GP said he'd prescribe which makes it a lot cheaper because you just pay the NHS prescription fee. Also make sure you cost out all the other drugs carefully if you go down the ivf route because i was sold a package last time and ended up with LOADS left over (which as it happens i will use as i need another cycle but actually if it'd worked last time i'd have paid for drugs i didn't need!).

Thanks guys for the info on importing the sperm- I might look into Xytex (ESB does seem pricey). How do i go about it? Is it just a case of ordering it direct from Xytex? Thank you!

Lx


----------



## wishingforanangel

Hi to everyone who is new...

Been a difficult week for me so I have no idea what is going on really....Sigh I guess I may have to go to Spain to receive my treatment because somehow my old fertility specialist called my new fertility specialist and somehow she had to put in her 2 cents into my treatment or is it 2 pence... 

GIA2...Try to stay positive if you are able to...If you can't I understand...I'm sure everyone does...


----------



## Mifi

Hi Linz   

We have been texting each other for quite a while now but good to see you have found FF   well done for posting I remember it took me a while to pluck up the courage   so good to hear that you have started tx again. I really hope that this will be the one for you      very exciting   

Hello and welcome to all the other newbies too     

Love FM XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## princess-mimi

Hi

  Alot of you wont know me but have might have heard lou mention me once in a while. its along time since i was last on here i cant believe how many of us single ladies are on here now!

just a quick up date on who i am for those how dont know me..

I decided to go ahead with DIVF in 2006 as i had PCOS and blocked fallopen tubes and i was so very lucky to find out on the 1st Dec 2006 BFP  i gave birth to my beautiful baby girl Amelia on the 5th Aug 2007 and was so happy just me and my little girl. Then when Amelia was 16 months old my path crossed with my ex boyfriend, after a few dates we decided to give it another go. On the 5th feb 2009 i decided to do a pregnany test as i was feeling pregnant i couldnt believe it when i saw a BFP ( i was told i would never concieve naturally and if by a mircale i did it would be eptopic) After having a scan a few days later and thankfully knowing it was a normal pregnancy i went and told dad the news..... he wasnt happy at all which upset me even more because it was a miracle. After saying he didnt want to be a dad again and wouldnt be involved he then said after a few weeks that he would be there for the baby and help me as much as me could which at that point after how he had been i didnt believe. i went though my pregnancy alone. At my 20 wk scan i found out i was having another little girl  but then they found that her head was 11 days behind in growth to her body and needed another scan a wk later which then showed she was 14 days dehind from that point on i was scanned every 3 wks to checked her growth to make sure she was still growing along with beening referred to another hospital to see a specialiest who then said there many be a low chance of the baby having howard syndrome but wont know until she was born. At 33 wks her head was measuring 4 wks behind and her body had started to so down in growth, by 36 wks even thou i was measuring behind her head and body had started to balance out which was a hugh relief my consultant then saying she will hopefully just be a small baby.At 39+4 wks i was taken in to be induced and after a 6 1/2 hr labour i gave birth to beautiful Freya Rose weighing 6lb 8 oz!!!! so she wasnt that small after all. Amelia adores her little sister and loves helping look after her. Dad has only seen her 4 times!

so thats me and my two miracle girls, Amelia is 2 1/2 now and Freya is 5 months i cant believe how quickly they are growing!!

I will try my best to try and get to know who everyone is... it may take me sometime.

Anyway hello to you all
Kimberley  x x


----------



## Damelottie

Kimberley   

It is so very very lovely to hear from you. I have thought of you often.

How lovely - 2 gorgeous little girls   

Love

LL xxxxxx


----------



## cocochanel1

Kimberley, wow congratulations how wonderful. We met in London.
How are you finding having two?
Coco xxx


----------



## ambergem

Hello!

Thanks again for the welcome message FM- very pleased to see you are on here too! You've been such a huge support to me over the last year xx  

Hi Kimberly, thanks for the introduction and congratulations on your 2 precious little girls- its so nice to hear some positive stories  

Happy weekend to everyone else and thank you for making me feel so welcome...Only 12 days to go until i start down-regging- can't wait to get started now (i so hope it works- it may be my last chance  ). Does anyone know what the age cut off is for egg share at Care in N'ton??

Lxx


----------



## princess-mimi

Thank you for welcoming me back....

LL congratulations on your gorgeous little man he looks so much like you 

Coco  gosh cant believe the london meet up was 2 years ago! Amelia was the same age as Freya is now!  If im beening honest having 2 little darlings is alot harder then i thought it was going to be! its getting much easier now as Freya has been sleeping throw the night since she was 11 wks so thats made a big difference being able to get some sleep!! im a bit worried how im going to manage when i go back to work and Amelia starting school nursery in sept, but luckly my mum has said she'll help me with the girls.

x x


----------



## Mifi

Linz so glad I have been a help to you   you have been a great support to me too hun    often making me smile when I needed it the most   

I know the age limit to egg share with LWC is 35 and you must have had your cycle before you are 35 + 6 months. I think most UK clinics are pretty much the same. Have you looked on their website as it maybe on there   If I end up back onto IVF I am pretty sure I will be going to CARE. If its not too far from you perhaps we could finally meet  

Love FM XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

PS Thanks for the pm


----------



## ambergem

Hi FM

Have just looked on web site, it says age limit is 36   so i may see if i would be eligible for that if this cycle doesn't work (maybe you would too?). Yes Care Northampton is not far from me at all- it would be fantastic to finally meet  I should've researched my options a bit better before i started all of this  , i assumed as i'm single i would have to go to London for tx. N'ton would've been so much easier!!

Lx


----------



## LoubyLou42

Hi All

I'm 42, single, and after years of deliberation (and a couple of failed relationships) have decided to get on with it on my own - like a lot of other singles on this site it would seem.  Whilst I never thought I'd be a single mother, the thought of never being a mother at all is worse.

Feeling very nervous, anxious and like I've just entered a minefield of abbreviations, drug names and possibilities and it's all quite over-whelming.  Had my first consultation last week and have been advised to go straight for IVF.  I'm going to try my own eggs first and hope for the best.  Don't have the results back yet from the first round of tests so have no idea what my levels are.

They are going to try the Mild Antagonist Protocol first - I've been googling it like mad and can't find exactly what it means or why it would suit me but I guess I've got to start somewhere.  Am also going with Donor Sperm and have been told my options are the ESB or Xytex - anyone used either of these banks and can advise what's best? Would love to have contact with others who have had this treatment, or are going through it - am at the Wessex in Southampton so any others who are there too - would be great to chat with you.

So nice to find you all! 

Loubylou42


----------



## southern_angel

Welcome LoubyLou  

As you'll see from my signature I've been trying independently with a known donor, but I'm starting to think about the possibility (very tentatively!) of doing a medicated/supported cycle with the Wessex. I've just emailed them to ask about the one stop fertility assessment they offer - is that what you've had or did you go straight to an IVF consult? 

I think I've read somewhere on the boards before that some clinics call their protocols different things, so hopefully someone who is at the Wessex will be along soon to explain what 'mild antagonistic' means there.  

Again, warm welcome to the board - I've found it hugely supportive and I'm sure you will too. 

Angel


----------



## lulumead

Hi Louby-Lou,

I think I did a mild antagonist protocol...I never down-regged, so did Gonal F injections from day 3 until about day 10, obviously with scans...mild generally means lower doses of drugs, so to start with I did 125 iui of gonal F (which is an FSH drug) and then I did cetrotide (ovulation inhibitor) which stops you ovulating until you take a HCG trigger 36 hours before egg collection.  The clinic should give you a print out of the exact protocol.  My clinic is pro minimal drug useage which is why I went to them. I have no idea why its called this protocol though!!

Not sure that helps.  

xx


----------



## LoubyLou42

Hi LuLumead

Yes that is helpful thank you - although everything at the moment is double dutch!  I have a print out from the clinic but just wanted to know who else had actually had the same treatment

Good luck 

Louby-Lou


----------



## LoubyLou42

Hi Angel

No I just opted to go straight for IVF and do all the tests for that - I don't know if a different consultant does the one stop assessment or not.  Don't have the results back yet so have no idea what's going on until later in the week.

Good luck with yours and let me know how you get on.

LoubyLou


----------



## 9£Bundle

Hi Louby Lou,

Just wanted to welcome you on board. I know just what you mean, I'm suffereing information overload too!    But the ladies on here are an amazing support, and incredibly informed too. Good luck with the results of your tests hun     This is a fab place to get "translations" from medical jargon too, so if any of us can help in any way we will. (Mind you, I'm just starting out too, so tend to have more Qs than A's.    )

9£B
x


----------



## LoubyLou42

Hi 9£bundle

Great to meet you  - looks like we'll be doing this about the same time!  When's your consultation and which clinic are you going for?  I'll try and help you too in anyway I can! 

Hi Lulumead

I do have one more question for you - can you remember how long your antagonist protocol took - I get the impression this is a short treatment, rather than a long 6 week one?

Thanks - hope all OK with everyone else. 

Sleep tight
xxx


----------



## lulumead

Hi louby-lou

yes very short....I started drugs on day 3 of my cycle and had egg collection around day 13...so basically it all fitted in with normal cycle length
xx


----------



## southern_angel

Hi Louby-Lou,

I've just heard back from the Wessex and they have suggested I just make an initial appointment rather than a one-stop assessment. Can I ask what was covered / included in yours - did you have to arrange blood tests etc seperately/first? 

Angel


----------



## LoubyLou42

Hi angelmine

That's great news.  The first consultation included an hour with the consultant - I had Sue who is lovely.  She basically goes through all the processes at quite a rate and you are bombarded with information.  They will send you a whole pack of forms to look through and sign - to take back in.  She'll go through these will you and make sure you've understood what you are signing.  She gave me all the stats  and from there we agreed that IVF was my best route and so she ran through the process.  I then had all my blood taken by a nurse and had a quick chat with another nurse who talking me through the sperm bank options.  That was it really - took a couple of hours.  My results came back yesterday and I'm due to go in tomorrow for my counselling session before setting up my treatment appointment in the next 2-3 weeks.  Phew!  All lots to take in but I'd rather it happened quickly than waiting around.

Hope that helps - let me know how it goes.  When are you due to go in?

LoubyLou


----------



## Wass

Hi,

I'm new to the site too - have just been given some info re: Czech republic and Barcelona but am looking for sperm donor in the UK preferably around Yorkshire as this is where I am currently living.

Any advice that could be offered would be great - this feels like a really lonely journey!!!!


----------



## Rose39

Wass - Welcome!

In terms of clinics in Yorkshire, several of the ladies who have joined this thread recently (if you page up the newbies thread you posted on) are from the Leeds area, so hopefully they might be able to help.

There are also sections of the website for people from different areas of the UK - I'm sure there is a thread for Yorkshire ladies/ couples! Try using the search function at the top of the site and type in "Yorkshire" and you'll get lots of results!

Good luck!

Rose xx


----------



## Sarana37

Have to admit my age straight off - am 52, and single. 

After TTC naturally but unsuccessfully many years with partner (for over 15 yrs) am now alone and going for DE and DS. Quite terrified of all those who will damn me for even considering it at this age, yet - I have to admit it, at least somewhere. 

I've not dared mention it my my friends, though if the miracle should happen - I will do so proudly and with confidence. So, I seek support, empathy and advice. I am only now daring to even consider this route. I have never even raised this at my GP's for fear of being laughed away. For those who are already worried at 37 and thinking it may be too later for them, just imagine how I may feel, before deciding I'm too old. You're never too old to give and receive love. Thanks for reading this, Sarana


----------



## Rose39

Sarana - welcome!

I noticed that there is another lady on here who just posted today about double donor treatment aged 50+ - have a look at the thread lower down this page! 

Rose xx


----------



## indekiwi

to all our newbies!    Hopefully you will all have seen that we have a singles meet coming up in Bicester on 27 March (there is a separate thread dedicated to this topic).  I would urge you to consider coming along to meet like-minded people - and to find that though you might feel as if you are considering something unconventional, as soon as you walk into a room full of individuals all pursuing family creation using fertility tx, realise that it is actually quite a trodden path these days.  

Wass, Rose has given some good advice there.  Additionally, feel free to post wherever on the different single women's threads which resonate with your own thinking about tx (treatment).    

Sarana, I'm sure you will get a load of love, support and assistance on these threads - welcome!  You may also wish to have a trawl through the current and previous donor egg threads for singles (scroll down the page for the latter) as they contain a lot of info about others' tx choices in terms of clinics and countries.  

A-Mx


----------



## RichmondLass

Sarana welcome and good for you!  I'll bet you'll find other ladies of your age on the non singlies threads!  I'm 45 and pregnant with double donation (and about to burst).  Who cares what other people think - it's your decision.  

Good luck and I look forward to reading about your journey.
RLxxx


----------



## ambergem

Hi Sarana!

I'm still pretty new too but everyone on here is lovely so you've come to the right place.

I agree with RichmondLass- Try not to worry about what people think about your decision. People will definitely have an opinon and it might not always be positive but you have to stay strong, no one else has the right to judge you! Your age shouldn't matter if you can provide a stable loving environment for a child. 

I wish you much luck  

L xx


----------



## Sarana37

Thank you all,  , in just one day I have received so much information and encouragement, and certainly from those who have replied - understanding. I feel stregthened and more ready to take action this week, 

blessings to all  
,  ,


----------



## Damelottie

Good luck Sarana37


----------



## LoubyLou42

Hi Everyone

Sarana37 - total respect and so much luck to you.

RichmondLass - how fantastic and good for you - very exciting

Hi to everyone else - will check out the Biscester meet up - would love to meet others going through the same thing.

Love to all.

LoubyLou


----------



## provencein3

Hi I'm a newbie too and have to say I'm not sure of the distinction between all the threads and haven't had the time yet to work it all out.   Is there a difference between singles and singles with double donation.  I owuld have though all singles had double donation. Its all a tad daunting at the moment.  

And sarana, there is/was a recent article about a woman pregnant at 54 with twins.  I'm actually 49 and once thought I was going to give up before I turned 48 but still want some more...I have two children currently - one my own eggs, one donor eggs.

Actually it just dawned on me that not everyone on  here is using donor eggs, hence not everyone needs double donation.


----------



## bubs5469

Hi ladies,

Can I join your little circle of single ladies this might help explain my story a little bit and a what part of my fertility journey I am at:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8534810.stm

if anyone has been in the same position or has any advice i would really love to hear from you!

I am on a downer today and feel like i will never reach the amount of money in time and be able to be a mum! I think its because my pain is really bad today and has been for the last few weeks! xx

Hugs to everyone xxx 

/links


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hello and welcome bubs5469, 

and sending a few    your way. I don't suffer from endo so I can't really offer much wisdom or advice on that, but I do know how much it hurts to want a child and not be able to have one  

re the cost of IVF treatment - there are cheaper options than the UK which may be worth exploring. Of course we're still talking thousands of pounds, but you can save quite a bit by looking at clinics in Czech Republic for example. Have a look at the Reprofit threads, or come and chat on the Single Abroadies thread. If it's important to you to have an ID release sperm donor (so the child can trace them when they turn 1 you will need to import from a sperm bank to the Czech Republic as donors are all anonymous there, but even with this additional cost it can work out cheaper than having your treatment in the UK. 
May be a small consolation but if it helps reduce the financial target a little, it's got to be worth investigating right?

so sorry that you are in so much pain, it must be awful, my thoughts are with you
this is a great community and very supportive, so just dive in and post wherever you want and hopefully things will start to feel brighter for you soon,
best of luck,
Suitcase
x


----------



## Rose39

Welcome Bubs5469!

So sorry that you're struggling with endo and PCOS - it must be very hard for you.   

Suitcase has given you lots of food for thought - if money is a major challenge (and IVF is an expensive process), then another option to potentially consider is donated embryos - several clinics offer this including Reprofit in the Czech Republic and it can work out much cheaper. 

This option requires lots of thought and reflection and is not something to jump into lightly  - as it means no genetic links to your baby rather than using your own eggs, and you may not want to consider this route at all, but an advantage would be that you'd be putting your ovaries under less pressure as you wouldn't be using any IVF stimulation drugs, which may be a factor to bear in mind if your PCOS is severe. 

Wishing you best of luck as you go through your thinking about this - please do ask questions and join the discussions on the different threads!  

Rose xx


----------



## Minnie35

Wass - I'm in Yorkshire too, I live in Leeds.  I've started the ball rolling with Manchester Fertility Services and they've been good so far (I've not started treatment yet but hopefully will soon).  The other two newbies based up here have both been referred for treatment in Leeds, so that's also possible.  I know that there are two clinics in Sheffield that also treat single women. Where are you based?

Please feel free to get in touch or send me a message about anything at all -I'll be happy to help if I can and it's great to know there are people embarfing on this journey up here!
Minnie
xxxxxx


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Just wanted to add my welcome to all our new ladies


----------



## LoubyLou42

Hi Everyone

Have been keeping my head down over the last few weeks - lots to sort out to get the stress out of my life - starting with resigning!

anyway, just wanted to ask - I saw mention of a meet up at Bicester next weekend for singles - does anyone know anything about this?  I'd love to meet you all if any of you are going.

Anyone got a link to a thread about it?

Hope everyone's having a lovely weekend and relaxing in this filthy weather.

Love to all

LoubyLou


----------



## bubs5469

Hiya ladies

just wanted to say a big thank you for the advice and stuff and I am going to look in to
some of the ideas you have all given me that might help financially as well! 

Having a real bad day today with pain and emotions bit hope u all have a great weekend xxx


----------



## GIAToo

Hello to all the new ladies  

The Bicester meet up was cancelled as we couldn't get the hotel facilities we needed.
Keep your eyes out for a new thread about the net meet up - will be lovely to meet all the new ladies 
GIA Too xx


----------



## caramac

Hello everyone! 

I've only recently discovered this place and am suffering a bit from information overload! I'm 32 and have been single for a LONG time now. Not really fussed about finding a man and although I thought I wouldn't consider children until I had found Mr Right, it's looking more and more unlikely (especially since I am putting no effort into finding him!). I decided recently that I still want to be a mum, even if it means doing it by myself, but until I started doing some serious online research I didn't even realise it was possible. Now I have found this place and realise that there are many others in the same boat as me...it's great to know I'm not the only one!

Anyway, after realising that things might not be as simple and getting pregnant with the first attempt at AI, and learning that as time goes on my fertility declines rapidly with age, I figure it's better to start planning to take action sooner rather than later. I'm self employed but my job is quite seasonal, meaning I can't take time off in the summer, and this limits my availability for undergoing treatments to just the spring. So I can't look to start now until next Jan.

I have done a lot of reading on the boards and have a lot of information to digest for now but just wanted to introduce myself!

Cx


----------



## bingbong

Caramac welcome   sounds like you are in the right place   I know what you mean about information overload though! There are so many amazing women on here that know so much so keep reading and post questions wherever you want to. January will be here before you know it so it's good to start doing what you can now to prepare. 

Hello to other newbies that I haven't said hi to it's nice to see some new faces joining us  


bingbong x


----------



## caramac

Thanks for the welcome bingbong - and sorry to hear about your recent BFN on the 2WW thread. I hope this next time sees you getting the result you want!

I have been in contact with Serum (via Ruth) to find out whether I need to do anything now as I can't start tx until Jan. She has suggested that Oct/Nov would be a good time to go over for an initial consult and before then I could have a chlamydia test to get that out of the way incase I test positive and have to go on antibiotics. So will get that sorted ASAP.

Have ordered some books and am going to start monitoring my cycle in preparation for tx time! For the longest time I have been tricycling my pill packets (taking them one after another) so have no idea what my natural cycle is like!! Mind you it's going to be a right bugger going back to having AF every month!


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Caramac, welcome!  Nice to see someone else in the West Country posting on the singles threads!  

A-Mx


----------



## Grace10704

Hi Caramac
As Inde says good to see another West Country lass here!  We have a Bristol based get together group going - its only called a Bristol one cos that's where I live and I have the contact list but its basically a west country thing!  And its a get together group rather than anything else as we see it as an opportunity to hook up with other mummies & mummies to be for a good old chinwag whilst those who have kids can get the kids knowing each other.  We have quite a few ladies who are "hopefully mummies to be" (i.e. anywhere on the "I'm thinking about it" to the "I'm in the 2ww" line!) as well as some of us with little people already in tow!  
We are having a get together on 24th April and you would be very welcome to come and meet a few more ladies to pick our brains and put names to faces.  If you search on here for the Bristol Region get together thread you'll find out all the details - or PM me & I'll fill you in.
Really hope you can join us - if you can't make it this time but would like to know when we are next meeting just PM me your personal email address & real name & I'll add you to the list!

Welcome to our wonderful world!


----------



## lulumead

hello caramac    
xx


----------



## caramac

Hello indekiwi, Grace and lulumead - thanks for the welcome!

Grace - have PM'd you my details and will definitely try and make the GTG on 24th April.


----------



## Lou-Ann

Just wanted to say   and welcome to all the newbies. Glad that you have found us and wish you all the best of luck with your respective journeys 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## mboosh

Hello everyone

I'm actually asking this question on behalf of a friend in Australia whom has always wanted children with the right partner but the partner-thing has never happened for her. She has resigned herself to a life without children. I've just had ICSI which is why I'm a FF member but I wanted to find out some info for my friend about sperm donation. She doesn't know I'm doing this but I'd like to talk about it with her when I know all the facts. She is 42 and still has her periods. I think she would be better off coming to Europe to have it done as Australia has the same disclosure laws, and hence the sperm donor shortage too. I've been looking on the website but can't find a thread that has information on specific clinics that will do this. Could someone please point me in the right direction?

Many thanks

mboosh


----------



## indekiwi

Hi MBoosh,



> I've been looking on the website but can't find a thread that has information on specific clinics that will do this.


Not sure what "this" is?!  Do you mean treat single women with donor sperm in the UK? If so, there are plenty of clinics in the UK that do (and several that won't). LWC is probably the best known with respect to single women, but in London CRM, LFC, Bridge, Lister all do so as well as do plenty of the regional clinics. If you were referring to Europe more generally, your best bet is to read through the singles abroadie thread and check out the different clinics where single women are receiving tx. If this isn't what you meant, apologies!

A-Mx


----------



## Fraggles

Hi

You can buy anonymous or open donor (where you get info on donor and any child can contact sperm donor at 1 from xytex and get it exported to your choice of clinic around the world. I also know you can buy sperm from cryobank and european sperm bank. There are good clinics in Europe too where you can get treated as a single woman too and it is far cheaper than doing it in the UK. She might be able get the sperm exported to Australia to her clinic of choice but she could check it out first and if not come over here.

Hope that helps.

F x


----------



## Rose39

Mboosh -Just to add to the advice already given, I'd also suggest that your friend has some basic screening tests done first, such as FSH, LH and Estradiol to understand how well she would respond to the IVF drugs. It's great that your friend has periods at 42, as many women don't, but this isn't in itself an indicator of fertility - she may have a low FSH for her age, so could respond really well to the drugs, or her FSH may be high, in which case she would stand a much higher chance of having a baby using both donor eggs and sperm (or donor embryos). 

As you mentioned that you wanted to understand all the facts before you speak to your friend, if you look on the single ladies threads you'll see that the majority of the single ladies in their 40's (me included) are doing or have done double donor IVF (donor eggs and sperm) - this is because the number of chromosomally normal eggs that you produce declines significantly in your 40's (even if you produce a good number of eggs overall in an IVF cycle, only 1 in 6 eggs is normal at age 40) and therefore the chance of IVF success also drops as well (and the risk of miscarriage increases). Some ladies are looking into having CGH chromosomal testing as part of their own egg IVF cycle to screen out the normal embryos and only put those back, which adds to the cost of the treatment, but increases the chance of it working. 

I'd also suggest that you have a look at costs, and the % success rates for the clinics that were already mentioned (these can be found on the HFEA website or on the clinics' own websites), as your friend would need to weigh up both of these. With donor egg cycles you're potentially looking at a 50% plus success rate per cycle (the clinic I'm using has a 60-70% success rate) so the overall cost of creating a baby is typically lower, as with own egg IVF in your forties you're typically looking at several cycles for it to work (and as you'll see on these singles pages, there are several of us who have moved to donor eggs after multiple failed own egg cycles and miscarriages). Of course, using donor eggs isn't something that the ladies here embark on without serious consideration, but you wanted to understand all of the facts relating to single ladies having IVF treatment in their forties, and so it wouldn't be fair or responsible of me to describe some of the aspects of IVF for single ladies without explaining that some of us are doing own egg IVF with donor sperm and others are doing double donor.  

Hope this helps!

Rose xx


----------



## Fraggles

Hi Rose

Are you willing to share where you are being treated please-

Thanks

F x


----------



## Hel78

I think i posted this in the wrong place - hope this is right! New to all this!
Hi everyone, I'm new here. I've copied this from my post on the general intro board as i wasn't sure where to post first!
It seems that you are very supportive to one another which is really nice.
I'm very early on in my journey but already finding it hard to speak to people about IF or that they just seem to tell me not to worry or similar. I know they mean well but it's not always what you want to hear.
I'm 32 and single and having not met Mr Right and not really wanting to for now, i decided last year to try to start a family through Donor IUI. I wasn't anticipating there being any problems but after scans and blood tests and then more blood tests it was discovered that i have a low AMH level of 7.45.
I know that's not the worst story on here by a long shot but I was quite surprised given my age and so were the Docs. I'm with LWC and they want me to treat me with a more aggressive plan now with Gonal F injections.
So not only am I a little blind sided by the news that my female parts I always thought would just work when I wanted them to but that I am also going to need more money to keep trying - you only have to read the signatures on this site to see how long a road this is for most people and how many failed attempts people endure.
Lots of emotions in a short space of time and this is on top of the normal day to day problems we all face.
Maybe this is the same across the board but I don't find the clinic very helpful and always feel like I'm being rushed. I just found out something pretty startling and they don't seem to really explain it or take any time to go over it with you in more detail. In all honesty I can barely understand what my Doctor is saying most of the time!
I'd like to talk to anyone who has or is being treated at LWC to see what they think of the clinic and their doctor and anyone who is in a similar situtation or anyone who knows anything about AMH levels.
I suppose everyone wonders why me but I don't really understand why my eggs are letting me down!
Sorry to have gone on for so long! Anyway, Hi everyone - really glad there is a place I can come for the support i can't get elsewhere
Hel xx


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## Fraggles

Hi Hel78

Congratulations, I am so impressed you started this journey so early and so thankful you did, I know you are shocked at the news but you have time.

I read what you said about UK clinics and due to the age when I started and that I am single NHS or being treated in the UK was never an option to me so I ventured overseas. I did lots of research on UK clinics and couldn't afford them so then looked overseas. Even with flights, accommodation etc it still works out cheaper than the UK and from what I read people who have had treatment both in the UK and overseas, favour the overseas options as it is more personal and they don't feel like a number. It may not be for you but you could always have a look at the overseas clinics too, send them an email with your background info and ask what they suggest, and quotes and / or ask them to give you a call. And ask them all the questions you need too. The clinics are there to answer your question and support you and it is the consultant's responsibility to make sure you feel comfortable to ask all the questions you want and to explain it in a way you understand.

I am currently in Brno going to Reprofit for treatment - have to say fertility tourism rules - I am having a relaxing few days somewhere new, enjoying the weather and sites and am so pleased I came. I am finding it therapeutic to be away from everyone and having a bit of calm and quiet. I have so much going on at home that I was stressed out big time and find that my stress levels are reducing. Hurrah. I can also recommend Serum in Athens but came here for my second iui due to price being significantly cheaper and the recommendations on the Reprofit board. But at Serum you can go direct to Penny who is a doll or via Ruth who is a fertility nurse but refers people to Serum, it is the same price but Ruth or another nurse Sharon will be with you the whole time you are at the clinic if you choose to go through them so they can answer any questions. My experience of overseas clinics is that there English is fantastic so there are no worries with understanding each other.

We are a supportive bunch if I say so myself. Welcome it is good go have you join us. There is also a single abroadies thread if you want to see what people are saying on there.

Lots of love F x


----------



## sweet1

Hi Hel78,

Welcome to the board. I am so glad I found this place. It's given me the confidence to follow my dream which previously I thought was just a pipe dream, and for the moment at least, I feel I've found a bit of peace in my mind having made the decision.

I am going abroad for tx for the reasons Fraggles explained above. It really is a lot cheaper and I'm not going to pretend I am going for any other reason than that. Also, I did go for a consult at LWC but I honestly didn't come away with a great feeling, more like I was just a number. I don't know if this is generally the case at UK clinics. I haven't set foot in Reprofit's doors yet so will reserve judgement on that until I've been. But I wasn't mad keen on LWC for some reason. Having said that, there are plenty of ladies and couples on here who have been very happy with them so I do acknowledge that too.

Best of luck on your journey - I am also at an early stage and not sure what lies ahead of me, but at the moment anyway I'm allowing myself to get a bit excited.

How are you, Fraggles?


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hel78 - I have sent you a PM (top right of your screen it will say you have 1 new message - click on there to read it)

Suitcase
x


----------



## Fraggles

Suity how are you doing?

F x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Good thanks Fraggles - had lovely day today with family celebrating my mum's 70th  
Trying to put fertilty tx to the back of my mind as much as possible - quite hard with Reprofit fast approaching but want to enjoy Easter and family holiday to Dorset first

Hope all well with you?
Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Hel78,

Regarding LWC, you might want to read through the reviews on the following thread:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=64005.0

There are a number of women posting on the singles board that have used LWC, including from memory Suitcase of Dreams and Langtang. I have not, but have used two other London clinics, the London Fertility Centre and CRM. At neither clinic have I felt like just another punter, though I suspect it depends on the interactions you have with individual staff at each clinic that determines how you feel about them. You could say I'm also reasonably biased, since LFC helped me to conceive my son, and CRM did the same with respect to my current pregnancy.  There are clearly pros and cons about having tx here or abroad, and should you wish to consider the latter then as Fraggles and Sweet SA suggest, check out the abroadies thread. However, there are plenty of singles being treated in this country too so feel free to ask some questions on the IUI or IVF threads as well where I'm sure others will welcome you to the crew. 

Regarding AMH, you should look for the slow responders thread under (I think) the main IVF board for further information. There are two scales used and a low number on either measure corresponds with a low ovarian reserve. However, speaking very much as a lay person here, that the number of eggs is low is one thing, but this does not necessarily equate to poor quality eggs given your relative youthfulness.  At 41, I had an AMH of 0.6 (on the other scale to the one you were measured on I suspect) and a FSH of just under 15; during the own egg IVF cycle when these results were taken I produced 2 follicles (normally clinics are looking for between 8 and 15), only one egg and that one didn't fertilise. I was told at the time that things could fluctuate from month to month - this could have been my worst response, but it might have been my best.  As a result, I was advised to consider donor eggs, (which I have done). However, there is another individual who occasionally posts on this board who also had a low AMH reserve but who like you was much younger than me. She was successful with her first IVF cycle and is now well on her way to having twins.  Hence my feeling that for younger women, a low AMH may not necessarily correspond with poor quality eggs, but it may mean that you produce less eggs than the norm on an OE cycle. This could be purely speculative on my part - but it is something you could at least investigate with your consultant.

Good luck with your decision making, and hope to see you posting across the singles threads.

A-Mx


----------



## lulumead

hello Hel78, good luck with it all. Look forward to hearing all about how you get on.
xxxx


----------



## Hel78

Hi All
Thanks so much for your replies. Really appreciate it. 

Indekiwi - thanks for the link to the LWC thread - really interesting. 

It seems that LWC swansea has alot of positive reviews but LWC London is very mixed but leaning towards the negative. I really didn't feel comfortable with them and have not been happy with the level of service received. My Doctor didn't really explain what my test results even meant! I luckily have a private GP who is excellent and had researched it and emailed me which along with my own research has helped but I was hoping a conversation with the Doc at LWC would add to that but it did not. I came away with no more information and only a vague understanding of how they wanted to treat me going forward. 
I know to a large extent when you are starting out it is a bit like pin the tail on the donkey but it really did feel like that which can't be good! Surely one should have some confidence in the treatment plan being given to you?! 

I have to admit to you all, I am a confirmed control freak!  luckily I have discovered how to work with this affliction and use it for good! lol! The only way I can control this situation is to make sure I'm getting the best care I can and I'm not sure that is with LWC. So much of this is totally outside my control, for me it's important to recognise the bits i can control. weird i guess but it's my way of coping with stress! 

In addition I've been researching diets etc to see if there is anything else I can do to make a difference. I've ordered a couple of books of amazon today. 
If any of you have any tips or ideas on this I'd really be grateful to hear them? Anyway, thanks so much you guys, it's so nice to know you are all there and understand. i hope you are all ok and enjoying your bank holiday weekend
Hel x


----------



## caramac

Hi Hel78

Sorry to hear you aren't getting the support you would expect from your clinic. Have you already paid them for this first round of treatment? If not I was going to suggest researching on here for an alternative clinic where you might get the support/involvement you need?

I am a similar age to you - 32 at the moment, will be 33 in May. I can't start treatment until January because of my work commitments so am spending the time before that researching (on here mainly!) my options and think I have decided to go with Serum in Athens because of the great feedback it has on here and the level of support that is provided - which I think is really important if you're doing this alone.

I'm sorry to hear about your fertility issues - that is worrying to me as I too had assumed everything will be fine because of my age. I am able to get a test for Chlamydia done in advance but have been advised to wait until Oct/Nov before I do the other tests (3 months before I start treatment). I'm now worrying that maybe I should get them done sooner...although it won't matter because there is no way I can start treatment any sooner, and so I'd most probably only have to pay out to get them done a second time in Oct/Nov. It's just tough right now as I feel like I want to get going with treatment but I've got to sit and wait for another 9 months (and all that time I'm getting older!).

Anyway, if you've got to stick with LWC for now, I would perhaps try calling your consultant and ask him/her to explain your results to you a bit clearer and your treatment plan too. You're paying them a lot of money so you deserve to get the answers you need from them to feel comfortable.


----------



## mboosh

Thank you very much for your replies. Lots of information and really good advice/knowledge. Am going to sit down and read it all through again and then have a look at the threads you have suggested.

Very kind and best of luck for you all.

mboosh


----------



## Ice-Queen

Hi Hel78

I am with LWC altho the Swansea one and they have been great. I was very suprised at how much they do treat you as an individual, making time to chat with you and all the little things like when the staff walk past you they will stop, remember your name and have a chat. 
I no how you feel with AMH results, Everyone including me just assumed there would not be any problems with any of the tests ect and when I went in for the consultation regarding all the results and resulting plan of action the Dr obviously hadn't looked at the results before hand and was more shocked than me when he read out my AMH level as 0.05!! They actually repeated it as it doesn't really make sense why it would be so low when put together with all my other results. The second result was 0.5 so I was advised to go straight to IVF, I however thought that as I stil have reg cycles etc it would be worth trying iui first as less invasive and the cost was an obvious factor and i was willing to take a chance. Anyway the Dr agreed to let me try one iui cycle. I had that in Jan and altho it failed everyone was very suprised at how well i responded. I had 4 very good sized eggs develop with minimal dose meds so the plan has changed and I am on track for my second iui for prob next week. I am now on CD8, medicated cycle again and due for us friday but with way my ovaries are aching I think there may well be some nice juicy follicles developing again. Good luck on your decision and journey.


----------



## Hel78

Thanks Ice Queen - I have read a few reviews of Swansea LWC and people seem to have better things to say of them. Must just be London! 
I'm sorry to hear about your AMH levels but it sounds like you have responded really well which is great! 
Good luck with your next cycle! Hope it goes really well for you!


----------



## starbuck

Hi Hel78

I was with LWC London and have mixed feelings about them.  They were always so busy that mostly felt I was just on their conveyor belt.  However on my last cycle a couple of things weren't quite right and the nurse did go and speak to the consultant before moving me forward.  One of these things was that my lining was rubbish 24 hours before my IUI so I was actually taken to the consultant to have my lining checked more thoroughly before they allowed me to go ahead.  It did make me more confident that if something wasn't following their usual pattern they would make an effort to sort it out.  

I was lucky and got my BFP on my third attempt - I do think a lot of this is down to luck though rather than anything the clinics do.  

Good luck in whatever you decide. 

Starbuck


----------



## earthmama

Hello!  I had a nice invite to come over to your forum and say "hi" - so lovely to meet you all - fellow singlies!!!

A few sentences about me.. I will be forever grateful to a friend of mine who told me she was going to the Fertility Show.  I went along to keep her company and was so empowered by what I learnt that I've decided at the wise (and hopefully still fertile!) age of 38 to get some eggs and embryos frozen as my future insurance policy.  I told a single friend in the US about my decision and she has now decided to do the same!!  Infact, I wish all single women were privvy to this info and knew about their choices.

So, back to my story..  I thought I'd get my blood tests and whatever fertility tests I could on the NHS.  I'll be getting the results to the blood tests later this month.  Provided that everything is fine, I want to find a nice, affordable, overseas clinic to go to for the procedure.  

I would love some recommendations (as well as prices) - especially from anyone who had the same thing done.  Of course, if there are some places to steer clear of, I'd love to hear about those, too.

With love to you all!

the new one xoxo


----------



## GIAToo

Hi Earthmama  

Welcome to FF singles style and firstly well done you for taking the initiative and getting your fertility checked out and sorting out that "insurance policy" .  I was at the Fertility Show too, had just decided at that point to give it a go with DS (donor sperm) on my own.  I've just started my second cycle of IVF after one failed one, so here's hoping.

I personally am at the Lister, but I have been researching clinics abroad and my favourites at the mo are Reprofit (Czech Republic) and serum (Athens).  The former is a lot cheaper but they are so popular now that they have long waiting lists for some treatments, not for Donor sperm though I don't think.  Ostrava is another Clinic in Czech Republic that has good feedback and there are no waiting lists.  

There are threads for most clinics if you want to ask people who have been there about any of the clinics.

There are some good clinics in Spain too, but they tend to be much more expensive.

Anyway, I'm sure the other ladies will be along soon to give their thoughts, ideas and opinions.  Sometimes you need to know what your particular issues are (if you have any) before you can decide on a clinic.  
Anyway, welcome again and look forward to seeing how your journey unfolds!    

Take Care
GIA Tooxx


----------



## lulumead

welcome earthmama....xx


----------



## hereshoping

Hello, I am a newbie, but have been getting loads of help on the single abroadies thread, so didnt see this one!
Anyhow hello. I am just looking into and organising IUI abroad. I also need to organise some Uk tests and a place near me to get the antral follile scans done (yorkshire), so plenty to keep me busy!!


----------



## ZoeP

Hi, a little introduction to start with.

My name is Zoe and I'm 41, I have got blocked tubes and pcos.  I'm very lucky in that I had a son through DICSI in 2005.  Was hoping to have met Mr right by now though and have had another child but thats not the case.

Anyway, I have thought about this on and off since having my son and really decided that I want to have another child - well at least try to have another.  I was lucky to get pregnant after my first ICSI before and through positive thinking and a lot of luck I'm hoping to be as lucky this time round.

First of all I am planning ahead and giving myself 4 months to get in the best shape I can...I'm stopping smoking again tomorrow and also going to start following a healthy eating plan to lose 3-4 stone.  I'm full of positive thoughts and raring to get stuck into planning my dream.

I had my successful DICSI at The Bridge centre in London and hoping to use them again.  

I still have to go to my gp to get referred back to my gynaecologist but I'm hoping to get an appointment with him this week. 

That was just a quick introduction to me and I'm hoping that people might offer me advice for obstacles that I might come across or how things have changed in the last 5 years.  

THanks for reading
Zoe x


----------



## caramac

Hello hereshoping and Zoe! I am fairly new here too and have found this place to be a great help/resource with lots of lovely ladies offering plenty of friendly advice! I'm sure you will to.


----------



## indekiwi

to Zoe and Hereshoping, hope you get lots of support and information from the singles board.  

Zoe, there are a few of us who have headed back to clinics for sibling creation, including me.  

A-Mx


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Zoe & hereshoping, welcome aboard ladies, look forward to chatting!  You're definately found the best place for support, info & friendship  

Wishing you both lots of luck
Jovi x


----------



## MadickensMommy

Hi Ladies, Im new here,
I live in Denmark, so I guess I kind off don't "belong" here, but the forum seems so nice, and has a very good atmosphere, which made me join 
I have 1 child, my daughter, Madicken. She was born silently in august 2009, I carried her for 7 months.
She will always be my firstborn, I still long for her, miss her, and think of her every minute. And she can never be replaced with another child.
But I am hoping to make her a proud bigsister soon

I look forward to chatting and sharing experiences with you.

Blessings


----------



## morrigan

Welcome Madickensmummy- I hope you achieve your goal soon. I am having am having treatment in Denmark but live in UK so I guess I'm the opposite to you.


----------



## lulumead

Hello Madickensmummy,

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter.     Wish there was more to say that made it easier but its very sad and I really feel for you.

I am glad you found our lovely group. Everyone on here is full of knowledge and understanding, so I am sure any questions you have will be answered - I think the ladies on here know more than some doctors!

Looking forward to sharing your journey.

Lxx


----------



## indekiwi

Hi MadickensMummy, and welcome to the singles board.  I'm so very sad to read about the loss of your darling daughter, and only hope that you can quickly achieve your dream of making her the beloved big sister of your second child.       

A-Mx


----------



## smilingandwishing

Hello,

Would love to join you ladies.

I am 40 years old (how on earth did that happen). I have wanted to be a mother for a long time and despite some great relastionships, haven't found myself in a position to be able try to start a family. So after two years of thinking about it and investigating what it would mean for me and the child I have taken the plunge.

I had DIUI on 21st April and my OTD is next Thursday 6th May  - so half way through the dreaded 2WW and driving myself mad.

I am trying to stay with the positive thinking and visualising the result I want.

A big hello and good luck to everyone here.

Smiling xxx


----------



## sweet1

All the best of luck Smiling and Wishing (can I call you SaW)?

I was meant to have IUI the same day as you, but as I was going to have it abroad I couldn't go cos all the planes were grounded. So I shall live my 2ww this time vicariously through you!

Good luckx


----------



## morrigan

Welcome smiling and wishing- Love the shortening to SaW- I have fingers crossed for you


----------



## bubble love

Hello to you all.

I'm newish to this thread so bare with me.

I'm 36 and single. I have been desperate to become a mother for many many years (10 or more). I was told that I have blocked tubes therefore IVF would be my only option of becoming pregnant.

I was in a relationship which broke up due to me so wanting children and him already having 3 didn't want anymore therefore I'm looking back at the single run.

I'm really confused though as I'm unsure of where to start. Does anyone know if the Birmingham Women's Hospital treat single women and do they have sperm!! ha ha ha obviously this is ANOTHER problem!! 

May I ask any of you how much this costs in total? As you can tell i'm totally bomb shelled by it all and really would be grateful to your stories and feedback.

Thank you for listening to me rabble on.
Take Car
Bubbles x


----------



## morrigan

Bubble love welcome

I can't answer about costs and birmingham hospital as I'm having IUI but be reassured it is perfectly possible to go it alone.  Probably worth ringing local hospital and asking. There are plenty of clinics that do if not.

Have you been and spoken to your GP?  Sperm is readily available from europe if not in uk. On a quick google there are alot of clinics in the midlands. Have you tried the areas board I think theres a birmingham one.

I was pointed in the direction of donor conception network who recomended mikki morrsettes book single mothers by choice.

Good luck on your journey _ just pick up the phone or point the mouse and the next step will come to you naturally.


----------



## some1

Hello Bubble Love - welcome to our threads. Birmingham Womens Hospital definitely do treat single women, it is where I conceived my beautiful daughter. I didn't have IVF there so can't advise you on costs, although I remember that their prices for IVF were very reasonable when I first contacted them. There is a waiting list for sperm there and I don't think they are open to importing from other clinics, worth contacting them to find out the current situation though. If you email tham via their website (www.bhamivf.org.uk) they will be able to give you all the up to date information. The other thing to mention about BWH is that although you will be treated there as a private patient you can still only access their Assisted Conception Unit after being seen by the hospital's gynaecology department (so that they can assess whether medically you are suitable for assisted conception treatment). So, the first step is to go to your GP and ask them to refer you to BWH. Hope this is helpful, let me know if you have any other questions I can help with.

Some1

xx


----------



## Ice-Queen

Well, had my 2nd Diui on 12th April.......only one folicle so wasn't that hopeful.......BFP on 26th April   ................waiting for scan on 20th may   . And boy am I knackered, I don't think I've ever felt this tired or achy......but well worth it


----------



## regster

Hi all , I'm a newbie and was hoping for the chat zone but bizarrely cant find it!! Does anyone know where and when this would be as I have loads of questions and seem to miss everyone? xx


----------



## lulumead

hello bubble love...welcome    


Icequeen: congrats   


xx


----------



## indekiwi

Regster, it looks like the chatzone (open to everyone, not just singles  ) is not around tonight due to the website upgrade - there is some mention of this on the following link:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=235950.75

I-Q, congrats on your BFP. 

A-Mx


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Welcome to our new ladies   

Wishing you lots of luck


----------



## regster

Thanks, Will try again next week.  Congrats IQ on your BFP   xx


----------



## some1

Regster - welcome to our threads.  Please don't be    at missing chat.  If you have questions you want answers/opinions on feel free to fire away here - we're a very friendly bunch and if we can't help I'm sure we'll be able to point you in the right direction.

Some1

xx


----------



## regster

Thanks Some1,  I'm basically going it alone and at the moment my GP is sending me back to start the fertility program from scratch which I have previously been on.  From reading some threads, people keep talking about tests?  Have these people been through all the fertility tests from their local hospital already?  I feel like i'm repeating on myself and not moving forward?  Or do I have to go through all these again as standard? A xx


----------



## hereshoping

smilingandwishing said:


> Hello,
> 
> Would love to join you ladies.
> 
> I am 40 years old (how on earth did that happen). I have wanted to be a mother for a long time and despite some great relastionships, haven't found myself in a position to be able try to start a family. So after two years of thinking about it and investigating what it would mean for me and the child I have taken the plunge.
> 
> I had DIUI on 21st April and my OTD is next Thursday 6th May - so half way through the dreaded 2WW and driving myself mad.
> 
> I am trying to stay with the positive thinking and visualising the result I want.
> 
> A big hello and good luck to everyone here.
> 
> Smiling xxx


Well SmilingandWishing, OTD tomorrow? Good luck xx


----------



## regster

Good luck smiling,  let us know how it goes! xx


----------



## hereshoping

Hello all, and thank you for the welcome messages you sent me further down the thread. I have still been getting tonnes of support on here which is amazing. Bingbong, Fraggles and Suitcase in particular. But all of you really.
Little update on me.. I had my check up scan last week, all was well in there so thats good. S happy with that and he has done me a script for 50mg clomid for days 3-7 (1 per day) and that is due to be delivered to my house tomorrow from Fazeleys.
If all goes to my little plan, I am hoping to dash out there at the end of this month!!!!!but it may not go as planned due to committments here. Also have no idea how I will respond to clomid given Ive never had anything before and am already a mum.
But thats what CD10 scans are for I guess. Think I will book last minute flights only if CD10 is promising, even if its costs more that way. S didnt give me a script for the trigger shot though, which is good because Im prob too chicken to do it anyhow, am hoping to get out there CD12 or 13  depending on the scan, so they can do the shot for me lol
Anyhow thats me, hope you are all ok
H x


----------



## some1

Regster - most of us have at least some tests before embarking on fertility treatment in order to determine which treatment is most appropriate.  As single women cannot get fertility treatment on the NHS most of us have not been treated by NHS hospitals (except for treatment for underlying health conditions that affect fertility e.g endometriosis, polycystic ovary syndrome, fibroids etc) and have been referred by our GPs direct to a private clinic for treatment.  What is the 'fertility program' that have you already been on?  If you had tests done some time ago, you would probably need to have them repeated to check whether your results have changed.

Hereshoping - glad things are progressing, very exciting!

Some1

xx


----------



## hereshoping

Thanks Some1, I was initially plannigng to start in July, and that may still happen, but I kind of want to throw myself in and get started if I can lol, just praying that I just get a normal 2 follies and nothing flashy lol. Incidentally, my scan check up showed an 8mm lining on CD17 so thats ok isnt it? S seemed pleased anyhow. 
Wasnt going to bother with the scan, but am glad I did now because it has made me feel better. My DD is 4 now but you never know what can be going on in there do you?  Had to pay for the scan of course, because getting GP to do it on NHS would have taken much longer. One thing I would like advice on. It was CD17 as I said, and I tend to OV late anyhow, but she saw an egg or remains of egg sack (corpus luteus thingy) on left ovary, which was fine, but initially she couldnt decide if egg had gone or not. Surely its key for us to know lol, or am I just being daft? In my notes she wrote up that it was the corpus luteus thing, which I checked online and it said it meant OV had already happened. Guess what Im saying here is did she sound competent to you (£155 and 50 miles away) or should I look elsewhere cos its vital I know as much as poss on CD10 before I go and fly out.
Sorry for the me, me, me post...
H x


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## indekiwi

Regster, not sure where you are based but if you are going to a private clinic you can self refer, which is what I've done with both of my clinics (both in London).  You will likely need to have FSH, LH and CMV status tested if it is more than a year since your last results were taken.  Feel free to post wherever and whenever on the board - as Some1 says, we're a friendly bunch and someone will always step forward with an answer to questions you post.   


Hereshoping, good luck for later in the month!    8mm lining sounds ideal.  Can't help on your other questions.

A-Mx


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## hereshoping

PS: reason its 50miles away is because there seems to be nobody decent near me, or the one place I did find the only person who could do fertility scans as opposed to preg ones, was on hol, which doesnt sound good for emergencies. I wish I lived nearer London. This place was recommended by Nurture over the phone. I tried ringing Care fertility but they dont scan people having treatment elsewhere. Might try Jessops and see if they will do it without GP referral.


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## hereshoping

Thanks Indekiwi, I was hoping that was a good lining 
H x


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## Sharry

New home 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=236072.new#new


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