# About to start TTC with co-parent soon (syringe method). Any tips or stories?



## Heidi33 (Apr 2, 2013)

Hi ladies 

Well after months and months (prob years) of careful consideration I am due to start TTC with my coparent friend when I next ovulate in about 2 weeks and the excitement is kicking in!! 

I've cut back of caffeine, been taking my multivitamin, got the hang of OPKs and have my equipment ready ie. syringes and containers!

Has anyone else conceived this way? How long did it take you? 

I'd love to hear some stories!

Heidi xx


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## Chopio (Dec 15, 2011)

I haven't tried this way but just wanted to wish you lots of luck. 

We looked into it for ages. Partly because we struggled so much to buy ethnic match sperm but also because it seemed so much more straightforward than the whole artificial clinic route.

My only advice based on friends experiences is to sort out all your legal stuff very very very clearly first. Even with the best of friendships things can change over time and often the arrival of the new baby throws things into a whole new perspective and people's needs change.

I think it is a really good idea to talk things through with an impartial mediator right from the start. Even if it seems like you are both on exactly the same page in terms of contact terms/responsibilities. It is really important to get an outsiders perspective.

For example, we had never considered the role of grandparents on his side, different approaches to discipline and education, who does the  child spend Brithday/Christmas/school holidays with? What impact would either of you embarking on another serious relationship have for the agreement? What if either party needed to relocate for work etc.

So many different difficult things to navigate. I'm not saying it can't be done well - hopefully someone will come along soon and tell us about their great experiences. Co-parenting is significantly different from just using a donor for AI at home and sadly my only experience of it has been when it started out all great and lovely and ended in tears just because the boundaries and expectations had not been clearly explored and set out legally in advance.

In terms of the practicalities for doing the deed. Fertility friendly lubes like Conceive Plus are supposed to be good for helping the swimmers along the way. Also some dietary stuff like drinking grapefruit juice to increase cervical mucus, low refined carbs to protect egg quality etc.

I'd get as much free testing through your GP as possible to check out you general fertility health in advance. You should be able to have an HSG test to check your fallopian tube patency to save you wasting any time just in case there were problems. Also, I don't know how old you are and I don't mean to worry you but lots of women in their 30s find out they are already in ovarian decline and decide to take a more interventionist approach early on to maximise their chances so its good to know all your results and chances up front.

Wishing you all the best with it! xx


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## Heidi33 (Apr 2, 2013)

Thanks Chopio.,
We talked about getting a contract drawn up but have done nothing about it. He seems a v straight forward chilled guy who is happy seeing the baby every second weekend. I don't foresee any problems but perhaps I'm being naive...


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