# Totally New to This



## LisaJK (Oct 7, 2012)

Hello!

I'm a complete novice.  I don't even understand half the lingo I'm reading on this site so definitely need hand holding.  My name is Lisa, I've recently turned 40 and have been TTC (I understood that one!) since May 2011.  Wasted 2012 hanging around for NHS appointments and fighting for funding.  So now have decided we'll have to pay :-(  and have transferred to a private clinic - albeit a 3 hour round trip away.  I start my medication for IVF on 30 Dec.  Any advice??   We've been told neither of us can have any alcohol at all...just wondering if a glass of wine at Christmas is a really bad thing...?  I don't want to put the process at risk...


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## BECKY7 (Feb 2, 2011)

Hey Lisa
God luck with your treatment abroad as I too have DIUI abroad as it is so much cheaper and so much nicer then in UK I think.
As for glass of wine  of course you can have a drink as  drinking doesn't stop you from getting pregnant as most people who drank over Xmas got pregnant  so 1 glass is nt going to hurt or ruin.
Becky7 xx


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## LisaJK (Oct 7, 2012)

Hi Becky, thanks for the response.  I had to look up diui, every day is a school day on this site, but a massive help and education.  I really hope things work out for you - it looks like you've been on a long and difficult journey and I hope this new chapter brings success.  Having read a lot of the posts, there just doesn't seem to be a real reason behind why for some it works and others not.  I'm excited but massively dreading it at the same time.  I'm not having treatment abroad, just it's a bit of a trek to drive there as there are no private clinics in the city where I live and my NHS experience was so bad, I couldn't bring myself to pay for it privately.  I wish I could go abroad but I can't fit it around work (I'm struggling fitting it in even in the UK) Becky, I wish you all the luck in the world and will watch out for your updates.  Thanks for being the first person to respond! x


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## BECKY7 (Feb 2, 2011)

Hey Lisa 
Your welcome  and honestly try to enjoy all the treatment  and try to relax but most of all drink 2 litres of water aday and pint of milk a day to help your follies etc.
Good luck
Becky


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

drink if you want to, but the thing is if it fails first go (likely, statistically) you are going to want to believe you did absolutely everything you could. So you have to weigh up how much you want to drink, against that feeling. I can't see one or two drinks actually making a difference to the outcome but it might make a difference to the way you feel about the outcome. 
so don't do anything you'd regret later. 
we were all new once and it is mindblowingly terrifying to start with and a lot to get your head around. many people ( as i did) find they're 'suddenly' plunged into IVF, despite struggling for years and tears TTC starting IVF can still come as a huge shock (why me? how did it come to this? does it mean i'm a failure? am i culturally/psychologically/emotionally ok with this? - too many questions all arrive at once) and there's a lot to take in.
best advice i can give you is trust your clinic, it's hard, you'll want to question every last thing and google every last thing but it's a lot easier to go along with what they say and trust that they know what they're doing. Also write a diary, make sure you keep track of every last detail because you'll forget,and once the drugs get in your system you will struggle to remember what's the drugs and what's you normally. 
if the first go fails a diary will be invaluable to look back on. Don't tell any more people than you have to because you can't put the genie back in the bottle and you'll get some odd reactions to the news 'we're trying IVF' even from people you thought would be great about it. But do tell some people, so you have some support network. 
don't google too much! But do mine this site for useful information there's loads of it! good luck.


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## LisaJK (Oct 7, 2012)

Thanks for the advice. Milk and water...done! I'm definitely not going to drink anything over Christmas and New Year...I don't want that feeling of thinking I did something wrong.  My DH has been told not to drink but he's struggling with it more than me - he's been amazing, but he does like his red wine....I think it could become a bit of an issue between us.   I haven't told many people.  Just 3 essential people in work who can cover me when I need it and 2 close friends and immediate family. My mum called to ask if she could put it in her family Christmas round robin letter....errr, no!  I'm a bit worried about the impact of the drugs.  I have a really challenging job, long hours and a lot of travel...my memory isn't brilliant the best of times, so concerned how the drugs make you feel...the clinic said 'a bit emotional'.....Any insight on what to expect would be good.....


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

oh and take some vitamins and also DH take some, eg, pregnacare/wellman vits.


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

my dh didn't stop drinking completely on the first cycle, but on the second i pointed out that if we had to do a third cycle, that would mean spending a lot of beer money on treatment, so he (i think) stayed off the booze on our second cycle. Can't say it proves anything but our embryo quality was much better second time out and i got BFP, so it could have been a contributing factor.


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## LisaJK (Oct 7, 2012)

So exciting that it worked for you   He's going to cut right back - he already has in comparison to what he was drinking before.  I start DR on 30 Dec so I think if he wants to drink new years eve, then fine, but then that's it until his bit is done.  How long did your DH stop drinking for before cycle 3?


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

no this is still cycle 2! cycle 3 will be when i go back for my frosties.     dunno how long before, i think he just stopped while i was d/r until after egg collection.


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## Jelly.B (Sep 27, 2011)

Lisa, I agree with Becky, I don't think one drink will hurt at all, but can see goldbunnies point - its if you find yourself blaming it shoud your cycle not work. However it WILL work  

Do what is right for you, I think being relaxed is more important, and if a drink helps with that so be it  

I had no drinks at all through my first cycle - bfn
Second cycle bfp and had a few glasses of wine through d/r and stimming, I was far more relaxed on this one... Just shows how it's all different for all of us. My man never stopped drinking through any of the cycles, although I too had better quality embrios on second successful cycle, I believe it was down to  change of meds for me.

You chose what is best for you Hun  

Xx


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## LisaJK (Oct 7, 2012)

That's good to know, thanks.  Might give him a little reprieve on christmas day then - after all, he is having to spend it with my family so I don't blame him the need for one or two!


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## Jelly.B (Sep 27, 2011)

You don't start your meds till the 30th right.... So I'd say go for it   heck, I'd have the bottle   but that's just me. 

Do what works for you both, if you think a treat is in order cause it's crimbo, but still feeling a bit unsure...why not have half a glass of champers with orange juice   if its going to be just one or two glasses, make it a good one  
If you feel like being good because you think it will help your cycle then do that   no wright or wrong here. 

Xxxxx

(I had a bottle of wine myself day before starting meds on my successful cycle! Not saying its right at all, just saying I don't really believe a drink here and there makes a difference) my view only! 
Xxxx


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## Louisej29 (Nov 19, 2012)

Hi Lisa
Good luck with starting your ivf journey.  It's all so hard! One step at at time! On my first ivf in August I had cut right back on alcohol, had the very odd glass of wine during down reg drugs and stopped altogether when I started the stims!  My other half didn't cut back much at all.  Cycle failed. 

On this recent ivf neither of us touched alcohol or caffeine (not easy!)  I also made him take the preg care male version tablets.  And we had success  Who knows if alcohol or caffeine play that big a part....?

If you're not starting til 30 dec I'm sure one or 2 on Xmas day will not harm at all! 

Lots and lots and lots of luck!! X


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## LisaJK (Oct 7, 2012)

Thanks guys....that really helps xx


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