# protecting identity of adopted/fostered children



## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

Hi,

Recently i have become aware of the ways and means that anyone could get details about fostered/adopted children.  it was something raised at our prep group in terms of 'at risk' children etc.  i always ask toddler group leaders not to take photos of Bubbles and/or name her in publicity/noticeboard items.  We also are careful not to give out her full name and birthdate where we don't think it is necessary.

however, I was wondering what you feel about things like: birthday cards on Cbeebies/milkshake or birthday/baptism notices in the local paper??

I would like to think that at some point in the future Bubbles could have a card on tv like other 'normal' children but is this just wishful thinking?

BPs may not know that we've kept her name and tbh i am not sure they would remember her dob anyway. 

Just pondering and wondering if it something you have faced and what measures you take.

magenta xx


----------



## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi - Not really got any answers but have thought along the same lines as yourself on many occasions.

We had one occasion where "Tumble Tots" had to be moved from its local venue due to a serious "brake"down at the usual place & because of this tumble tots was moved to a new venue and the local rag came along to do a piece about it.

I was asked if they could take DD picture and at first I said NO as I didn't want the "risk" but thought long and hard about it for all of about 5 minutes when everyone else was having their picture being taken and my DD was on the side line & I thought how wrong it felt, if you know what I mean, so they took her photos, it appeared in the local rag but with just her first name and we've had no come back.

Its a difficult decision to make and only one that you can do.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi
Sorry for gate crashing!

We have been talking about this sort of thing with our SW lately and I asked her whether we HAD to supply photos or not during letterbox as it is something I don't particularly want to do because of the reasons you are talking about.  How can a child be 'safe' when there identity is being given to the BPs?  I don't want to have to turn round to my children in years to come and say that they can't go somewhere or do something because they will be recognised by BP/family if we adopt from our LA.

Interesting to read your views.
Love
OT x


----------



## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

Hi old timer long time and no one has replied! I just thought I would post on this as it is something that affected us... I am very "memorable" as I am very tall and have an aussie accent. for this reason, although it would have been great to meet the birth mum, for our safety and our dd's safety as they (birth parents) both have violent past it was agrred it was not in the best interest. similarly, it was decided (for us!) that letterbox contact would not include photos. too much risk.  saying that, my heart really does go out to birth mu, who never hurt dd, just had all the wrong things go on and the wrong shoices etc. if there was no risk, personally I would love for her to see a pic of our beautiful dd who lights up our life.



hope that helps


----------

