# Im new and looking for like minded FF's



## kellieclarke (Sep 16, 2010)

Hello Fellow Fertility Friends,

My name is Kellie, I'm 32 and we are just about to have our first consultation with a fertility clinic.

We have been trying for children unsuccessfully for 6 years. After four we were sent for tests and they told us that my husband had a sperm count of 20,000 (apparently you need 20 million to have a baby by yourself). He was sent for a 'Varicocele' procedure, which helped but not enough. We were then referred to a Urologist at UCLH who were very on the ball, they started him on Clomifen (it was proved in a study they were partaking in that it helped improve the amount). After a few months it did help, although not enough for us to get pregnant by ourselves, they said that we would be more suited to IVF or ICSI.

Finally, we have been accepted to Herts and Essex Fertility Clinic and we have our fist consultation next Thursday. We do have to get his sperm from UCLH to H & E, but after the few years we have gone through it will be nothing, I'm sure (fingers crossed).

There was one part of all that that was tearing me apart. Whenever we turned up to doctors, clinics and hospitals, but they never seemed to communicate with one another. There were a few exceptions that were really helpful, but that was only when I went to our local PALS (Patient Advice Liason Service), but I only found out about them 2 months ago. It meant that I had to go to each and every department concerned to get hard copies of all our history and results so that we could be dealt with and not told to come back another time. All the toing and froing caused me to suffer mentally, emotionally and then physically. Hopefully now that we are at H & E (and I do have trust in them) that will never happen again.

I would like to hear from anyone in a similar situation to me now, and then, have you had problems? what stage are you at now? or just anyone that doesn't want to be alone and needs a shoulder, or laptop to chat too  

Thanks,
Kellie
xxx


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## lief (Jun 12, 2009)

Hi Kellie,

Gosh it sounds sooo frustrating what you are going through. How is your husband? Do you find support in each other?

We live in Abu Dhabi and have just found a great clinic. As you, we have been trying to get pregnant for 6 years and had to endure 6 mcs. I so had enough have being left in the cold and feeling so lonely about it that I asked my clinic whether there was a support group here and there wasn't so I started one myself! Don't get me wrong I am no superwoman and the clinic is amazing. You would not believe it, I feel at home at my clinic. My doctor is like a lovely grandmother who cares soo much for her patients, it is like a big family. I am mentally much stronger and happier. Just had laparascopy and hysteroscopy and we have been given the green light to keep on going naturally which I am very happy about. We also have the 'Porsche' list which represents our life without children and that also looks very appealing. (The Porsche is my husband's wish....although we'll see I have quite adventurous wishes!!)

Sorry to ramble on, but my big advice is; ask and look for support. Open up to close family and friends and your husband. Happy to be here for you. Good luck with your appointment on Thursday,
Lief


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## kellieclarke (Sep 16, 2010)

Thank you Lief.
xxx


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## Sakura 78 (Feb 1, 2009)

Hi Kellie,   

Just wanted to wish you luck for your appointment- is it this Thursday or have you already had it?  Although I'm not really in the same situation as you as our reason for infertilty lies with me, I have had several IVF/ISCI treatments and am currently waiting to start the next one.  If you ever need to chat too , don't hesitate.


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## kellieclarke (Sep 16, 2010)

Thank you so much, that was lovely. I am really looking forward to it, although Im nervous as well as up until now its been let down after let down. Tomorrow is a marker for me, finally we'll know where we stand, personally. We'll be told wether we will be having IVF or ICSI. 

Sorry to hear about your situation. Im keep everything crossed for you. When do you start again?

Kel
xxx


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## Sakura 78 (Feb 1, 2009)

Hi Kel,

How was your appointment? I totally understand your apprehension but it also must be exciting to be finally able to get started.  I still get a little excited even after so many attempts! ( by the way, I'm probably not a very good advertisement am I after so many BFNs lol, ) just remember every one is different and it takes some longer than others to achieve success - I just happen to be in the group that takes longer lol !! Personally I think you have a very good chance , I have seen women on here and other support boards with similar circumstances to yours get pregnant so there's no reason is won't happen for you too.  

I start this month - have my appointment next week so will find out then what I'll be doing etc.
Thanks for keeping everything crossed- ditto!!


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## Damilicous (Aug 18, 2010)

Hi Kellie,

I'm truly sorry to hear about your situation..

I hope your appointment went well and the out come turned out to be what u was hoping for.  

Even though, my situation is different from yours, as we have not been given a concrete reason for our infertility but still very optimistic that it will happen for us one day....I have already had one cycle IVF which turned out to be BFN but presently on my 2nd cycle.    

I wish you all the best and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## kellieclarke (Sep 16, 2010)

Thank you Damilicious,

I start on the injections next Sunday - Im picking them up next Thursday. It really is quick. Im all up in the air right now - Im a bit nervous about them, the side effects!

Im sorry to hear about you, but good luck this time round!

Thanks for replying,
Kellie
xx


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## Sakura 78 (Feb 1, 2009)

Wow, that is quick! Try not to worry about side effects,  it effects everyone differently so hopefully you won't too bad.  How do you feel about doing your own injections? I have done them myself but much prefer hubby doing them ,  either way they aren't as bad as I thought they would be. 

Just seen your ticker- you're a West Ham fan! My cousin works for them


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## kellieclarke (Sep 16, 2010)

Hello Maiya2,

Thanks for your reply. My hubby did say he would do them but then my said that I should try to do them myself incase for any reason Im on my own, they are too important to miss. I think Im ok with stabbing myself (with the needle that is) its just pushing the stuff in that is literally making me wake up with nightmares. Im going to try to do them, but I have a feeling my husband wants to feel more involved instead of just being a 'donator', lol.

Its next Thursday that I am shown everything about them, Im looking forward to it but for the past two nights I've had slight panic attacks just as Im about to drop off to sleep! Im getting panicy about what if the injections dont agree with me, what if there are no eggs, what if it doesn't set back inside me. Its endless.

How do you cope with all of it? my mums brilliant but Im the one going through it, any ideas?

Kellie
xx

PS - WEST HAM through and through


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## Sakura 78 (Feb 1, 2009)

Hi Kellie, 

I agree with what your hubbie said about learning to do it yourself in case he wasn't able to do it one day, I think that is a good idea but if you feel better letting him do them and it less stressful for you,  than go with that, I do! It does make him more involved too.  I actually did it myself on our 4th cycle as one night he had to work and I was literally thrown in at the deep end, had a quick needle teach when I went for one of my scans in the morning then had to do it by myself later on - found I could hardly feel it , though did take me about 45 mins to actually do it lol.  I asked him to do them on our next cycle even though I can do them myself now- I like him being involved.  

Funny though I am the complete opposite in that I dread the actual needle going in ( which I can hardly feel to be honest) more than having to push the stuff in! In reality, it doesn't hurt going in at all, especially if you choose a place with lots of flesh, like the stomach area or top of thigh/bottom.  On my first cycle I had them in my arm which was a big mistake as they really hurt ( not much flesh) but when I changed to my stomach it made such a difference.  The actual pushing the stuff in does sting a little bit if I'm honest but it really isn't that bad at all, and it's all over in seconds.  You just have to experiment with what is better for you, sometimes it's better to push it in slowly, sometimes fast,  they'll be able to advise you at the needle teach on this. 

Please don't panic over this,  you have no control over how your body will react to the drugs, and while that is quite a scary/frustrating thought it is also means that you shouldn't torture youself with "what ifs" since you can't control things if you see what I mean lol??! The best thing you can do for youself is just think " right, I'm going to take things one day at a time and if there is a problem the Dr adjust the drugs /amount accordlingly, there's no reason for this not to work"  It's very rare that there will be no eggs at all!  

The way I cope is try not to think about potential setbacks and only worry about it if it happens. It's only natural to worry though, I know!  I find it just puts too much pressure on myself if I do so I try not to.  I try and walk about 30 mins every day and find it's a great stress reliever.  perhaps something similar would help if you don't do it already - just to help you try and take your mind of things?


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## kellieclarke (Sep 16, 2010)

Thanks Maiya, I feel a bit better now.
Once Thursday comes Im sure I'll feel more settled, at the mo its all if's, but's and maybe's. 

Its so nice hearing other people who are in the same boat or who have gone through it. Its funny, cause I think Im the only one feeling certain things but then I come on here and I feel 'normal'.

Thank you so much  
Kellie
xx


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## Sakura 78 (Feb 1, 2009)

No problem    !!

Let us know how your appointment goes on Thursday, won't you! Good luck    

Maiya xx


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## SonicD (Oct 7, 2010)

Hi Kellie, 
I'm a newbie and was just reading your message at the top.

I know exactly how you feel!  WHilst I was having invest'tns one of the most frustrating and upsetting things I found was the attitude of the Dr's.  I know they are very busy people and they do an extremely difficult job (my brother is a Dr so I know how amazing they are!), but I found it really upsetting when made to feel like I was asking too many questions, or when I didnt understanding something the first time round and asked for clarification.  

I had to change clinics twice, have two lap ops and the back and forth to get the right paperwork, and my notes etc was probably harder then getting on with the actual operation! 

In the middle of all other that, my husband and I moved to Abu Dhabi for work....shipped our stuff, moved house and country while recovering from my second op! Now looking for IVF in a totally new country!

To Lief,
I'm really excited to have discovered that you are in Abu Dhabi too - I am going to PM you as I really need some advice on who you have seen here


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## SonicD (Oct 7, 2010)

PS - good luck with all your treatment


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## kellieclarke (Sep 16, 2010)

Testing


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