# Adoption Activity Day



## Jules11 (Jun 21, 2011)

Hi,

Just wanted to ask if anybody had attended an Adoption Activity day.  It's an event that involves meeting children that are awaiting adoption in a fun day.  The children are there to have fun and are supported by their SW and FP.  We were quite worried before attending, not sure if it would be too much seeing the real children rather than profiles.  We made a decision not to allow our BS to attend because we didn't know how it would affect him.

We had sooo much fun.  It was so well managed it was totally seamless.  We had a chance to spend time playing with children waiting for adoption, just having fun, no pressure to  """"feel""" anything.  We had moments of   god so many children needing families but over overall we just enjoyed spending time with the children.

I'm now home after a long and lovely day.  Covered in glitter, totally shattered and absolutely sure we have taken the right steps in adoption.  We came into this wanting to give a little child a family who would love and appreciate them for who they are.  During the adoption process we have focused on lots of ""issues"" such as attachment, trauma etc,  all for very good reason.  Somewhere along the way we sort of forgot that those profiles are not about a list of "issues" we can or can't deal with.  They are little people who are in this situation through absolutely no fault of their own. Despite all of the issues all these adults have thrown at them they are lovely and fun and happy and wonderful to be around.

I have no idea at this point if our day at the Adoption Activity Day will lead to a match.  I will never forget that this event helped us to remember why we started this journey in the first place.  It is hard, it is overwhelming but if those gorgeous children who have been through more than any of us could imagine can laugh and have a great time we should just role our sleeves up and get out the glitter glue.

Jules.


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## Dame Edna (May 17, 2007)

That sounds emotionally exhausting Jules  . I found it tough enough attending 'exchange days' and reading profiles when I was waiting for a match so I can't imagine how attending one of those days with 'real' children present, might feel ....

If it means children who are waiting find their family then it can really only be a good thing hey?  Hope you find your match soon ...

X


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## Jules11 (Jun 21, 2011)

Hi Dame Edna,

It was exhausting but hugely rewarding.  Not sure if it will lead to a link but we feel so happy that it has helped us to remember that it is about the real life children rather than paper profiles.

Maybe it's just us  but some where along the adoption journey we forgot that it's about the real little children rather than "issues".  

We've left the event today realizing it's the children that have got us this far.

There have been 4 adoption activity days so far,  they are displayed on the BAAF website. I have to admit that despite much concern and worry we would happily attend a future event and take our BS along with us to have a lovely time.

Jules x


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

you should post your experience on the AUK message board as somebody posted a question about it a couple of days ago..
great to hear about it..our LA are thinking about it..i thought it sounded just 'wrong' but i could see how it might work. a SW also pointed out that 15 years ago people thought it 'wrong' to advertise children the way they do now and these days we dont give it a 2nd thought  
thanks for sharing
kj x


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Just to add that in Scotland they are only just considering "adverts" for children like CWW/BMP

I'm not sure where I stand as I know the us have done this for a while. For older ones I can see positives but also major negatives about how it may affect them not to be choosen or impact their self esteem.

X


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

I'm another one with mixed feelings about this, as an adopter I can just imagine how my son would have behaved at one of these parties, he would have charmed the pants off everyone he came into contacted with and masked everything else extremely well, as a prospective adopters just waiting to go to AP again, I was really tempted to go to go to the event that was held on the weekend, I would have taken my son as he does have a good understanding of adoption and why there are other children looking for families.


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## Jules11 (Jun 21, 2011)

I really understand the mixed feelings about this type of event.  So much so myself and DH had an agreement that the second we felt that children were on display or being encouraged to perform we would leave.

The reality was very different.  The children were so occupied with all of the events to enjoy they seemed pretty much oblivious to the adults around them.  There were so many children, that it wasn't always easy to identify those awaiting adoption and the birth children there for a fun time.

I don't know if I totally "approve" of this type of event.  I'm sure most of the children just had lots of fun.  I'm also very aware that 2 of the wonderful children we spent time playing with we had viewed on CWW and decided they weren't for us.  However, we now feel like we would be very lucky to know more about these children. We know children can put on a display for those around.  We also know that children are children,  they deserve soooo much better than the hand life has dealt for them.  The more potential adopters see of the lovely little people they are surely that can't be all bad.

Even those out there who have had terrible experiences adopting.  They didn't spend time playing with the LO before agreeing.  Maybe if they had, in a no stings attached situation,  things may have be different.  I'm really not judging here.  Based just  on the profiles we were "drawn" to children who when we met them we felt very little for.  At the same time a child who had not caught our attention as a profile really became somebody we wanted to spend more time with in reality because of a lovely personality we could understand.

I think I'm just in support of any method that allows adopters and children awaiting adoption to meet is a safe way.

Jules.


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## gettina (Apr 24, 2009)

Just wanted to say thanks for feeding back on the event Jules, and in such a lovely way.
I wouldn't have been keen to go to such a day due to the internal emotional guilt but now see it is a potentially hugely beneficial complement to the profiles.
good luck!


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

really really insightful Jules..am going to print this thread out to read out at our LA's focus group next week..will be a great follow up to the discussions we'd started at the last meeting
kj x


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

there was a phone in on radio 5 live yesterday (26/10/2012..10am) about this..interesting listening..
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01ngr1h
its starts about 11 mins in..about 25 mins of chat about it..

kj x

/links


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