# Things to Do During Intros



## SummerTilly (Aug 14, 2013)

I'm hoping to have intros early November and having been inspired by Lolly and Fran's upcoming meetings, I wonder if anyone has any tips of how to keep occupied / rested during that time?

Like Lolly and Fran, I'll be in a hotel for the first few days and know that the initial meetings are only a few hours long - leaving plenty of time to reflect  / spend in the hotel.  As a single adopter, it's going to be a bit challenging as I'll be on my own (no doubt I'll be making lots of phone calls!)

I'm going to be updating my friends / family throughout the process and may try and get a massage or something to relax one of the days - any other ideas for keeping relaxed and chilled out?

I've read about how many people find intros exhausting and emotional and so plan on keeping rested / upbeat during the process (hee hee -   )

Exciting times xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Oh great thread sorry not there yet but really want to read the ideas. 

Also good ideas for the first few weeks at home in a placement. How to fill those first weeks with lo. Sorry to hijack x


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

Good thread ST  

I'm lucky though and we are near enough (about an hour) to be staying at home.  I was surprised to be honest at how dramatically the days increase.  We meet little pink tomorrow at 1pm and then have a meeting at 2.30pm.  Then we go back for an hour.  So we will leave the house at 12 and won't be home til 6.  Then I plan on having tea and watching TV in bed    Day 2 and we are there 10-2.  After we are going to a friends who lives quite close to little pink for a drink and nibbles.  By day 3 we are there for 7 hours and then this continues/increases until she comes home.  I think given the times all that we will have time for in updating everyone, eating and sleeping!!    But then I imagine it will be very different being in a hotel, and on your own.  you will have to come on here a lot and we will be your company    i'm thinking some evening walks to clear the head will probably be in order too


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

i'd take up running. but i'm a sports nut   

massage sounds good. maybe some exploring of the town you're visiting. are there any nice parks or anything? i find just a walk can help, clear your mind and all.

or get a kindle and load it up   

it must be difficult having to do intros away from home, we were lucky in that our FC only lived 10 mins away.


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## SummerTilly (Aug 14, 2013)

Thanks Lolly and DIY Diva - it's most certainly not a hijack - it's brilliant to extend the ideas to the first weeks of placement which may also be isolating / exhausting etc

Lolly - the fact you can visit friends etc is wonderful - any and all diversions will be welcome I'm sure and to have that support will be amazing.  Taking proper 'I'm in a hotel' time will be good as well and watching some telly in bed will be a treat (I'll take some of my favourite chocolates with me....)

I have some friends of the family who aren't too far from LO's foster carers, so I may go there for a coffee.  I'll also probably go to a movie / take some DVD's with me, plus my kindle.  Going for a long walk will get the endorphins going as you say.  

I can also write about my experience of the week for LO to have when she is older... I'll take some lovely paper and pens with me.

This is getting exciting now - like the most unique mini break in the history of mini-breaks.

Amazing how all the lovely people on here can put a new spin on things 

Thanks x


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## SummerTilly (Aug 14, 2013)

Thanks Katie C

Your post came in while I was replying.  The town is near somewhere I've been meaning to go - I will take a look and see if there are any National Trust properties or junk shops nearby to have a look around.  Even going to the movies could be a good idea!

Even shopping, once I've met her will be a different experience  xx


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Our plan went out the window from day one. As soon as bubba sw left FC said right this is what has worked for us in past how do feel about staying and doing tea tonight. Tomorrow get here when u like and do tea and bath here and we will go from there!!
Day 1 we had left home at 9 to sign all paperwork got home and literally collapsed on sofa. Day 2 left home 730 can't remember what time we got in but must have been after 7. Had afternoon out just 3 of us. Day 3, day 4 bubba came to us for whole day but back to fc for tea and bath. Day 5 at fc to get bubba up at 7 then she came here for meeting with sw at 3 back to  fc. Then review day and all agreed she could come home that afternoon phew.

We didn't do much a walk every day mid morning bubba would fall asleep in buggy so depended how tired we were if we were shattered straight home and sleep. Spent a lot of time bumping into people in supermarkets  how did they know we were gonna be there. Spend as much time being as close as lo will allow. We read loads and loads.  

Most importantly enjoy it. Its hard really hard but what you give out in early stages will pay off. Our lo is just beyond amazing and so rewarding.


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

We are a couple of hours drive away, but will be spending one night in a hotel due to a late night And early start. I do cross stitch so have started a new one of a mum holding her baby. Then once it's done I will put little ones name, dob , and the date he came home on it and put in his room.


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Personally I would take lots of books and enjoy some reading time.  Also wine.  And chocolate.  Reading and wine definitely don't happen as much as they used to, or as much as they should!  I'd probably look for something active to do.  At the start of both lots of intros, when the meetings are short, I found I was just too excited to settle to anything.

On a more practical note, make sure you know where the local kids shops are.  You will almost certainly realise during intros that there are a number of things the foster carer uses which you didn't realise you needed.

All the best for your intros.

Wyxie xx


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## SummerTilly (Aug 14, 2013)

Thanks Wyxie - good advice.  I'm guessing that no matter how prepared I THINK I am, that there will be some last minute bits and bobs I'll need to buy before LO comes home for good. 

Not sure how many shops there will be near where my intros are taking place, but I will take my laptop as I can always purchase things on-line xx


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Indeed.  What did we do before the internet?!


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## SummerTilly (Aug 14, 2013)

I can actually remember pre Internet days and my Dad's immortal line "that will never catch on!"

Am fully prepared for my little ones to be far more technically savvy than me even as toddlers.

My sisters cat even plays a game where she swats mice on the iPad.

Outdoor fun, building forts, riding scooters, bikes and building go karts are more my style. 

Still, whilst I'm outside sitting by myself in a home made cubby house, at least my children can be inside programming on the computer  hee hee hee x


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Hahaaaaa SummerTilly. The image of a cat playing on the iPad is hilarious. 

Apparently my dog helped DH choose my birthday present; he tapped on the chosen purse with his paw on the iPad!!! He has very good taste as I love it  

Good luck with intros
Xxx


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## SummerTilly (Aug 14, 2013)

Thanks Goofy Girl.  I'm now booked into a holiday cottage so won't have a huge round trip each day for intros.  I'm going to take some crafty activities with me and music as well - my LA actually suggested that I stay in a cottage rather than a B&B so I would feel more at home even though I am going to be away.  Will take some DVDs and books I've been meaning to watch / read as heaven knows, I'm not going to have much time when LO arrives 

Start showing your dog pics of things you'd like from Santa x


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Also to fill the time you could write a detailed diary entry each day of contact  

I bought a 5 year diary at the start of the year to document each day with a few lines; I think it will be fascinating to read the entries over the years and see how similar the entries are at certain times of year, or how much has changed!

You will be buzzing though so prepare to read the same page ten times when you pick up a book  

Craft is a great idea - I crochet and knit and like crafting away in the evenings while the tv is on. To be honest the first couple of days might give you free time, but once you are into longer days you'll be collapsing into bed at night like a sack of potatoes. It's exhausting and I have huge admiration for you as a single adopter. I have enormous respect for single mums since becoming a mum, they really do deserve medals in my view! You could always learn a new craft whilst you're away - the sheer concentration will keep your mind busy. 

Shopping is great when you have a LO....I love looking at baby clothes and finally being allowed in the baby aisle without scurrying through it feeling awkward. I loved buying stuff for LO during intros, grabbing nappies and formula. I'm looking forward to doing it all again in November with no.2!


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## SummerTilly (Aug 14, 2013)

MummyElf - how exciting for November   thanks for the kind words about me going on this journey as a single parent - i'm lucky to have an amazing support network which is fabulous 

I taught myself to crochet during the adoption process so I could make my los some rugs  

A diary is an excellent idea - I'll see what I can find online in terms of a 5 year one - wow amazing to think what my little family will be like then 

25 sleeps until I meet my precious little pink x


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

If you like blogs Attic24 is brilliant for crochet  I've made a patchwork blanket, a ripple blanket and a granny square blanket...all bright and lovely! The ripple is addictive though and will definitely make intros productive 

http://attic24.typepad.com/weblog/2012/12/interlocking-ripple-ta-dah.html


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## SummerTilly (Aug 14, 2013)

Wow that is amazing! Love love love the ripple blanket and the blog! This is my new project - thank you thank you  

Feeling very happy and inspired now. Do you buy your wool on line or at the shops?


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Normally online - she uses some lovely expensive wool but also a fair bit of stylecraft special dk which is pretty inexpensive but does feel lovely. My favourite new online supplier is 'Wool Warehouse' as they deliver within about a day and always give a freebie as a thank you -I've had rubber hook covers for knitting needles and Pom Pom makers so far! I've also used masons because they do all the colours Lucy uses as an 'attic 24 package' for about £25....it's 17 colours in all. Also make sure you pop over to Little Tin Bird as she is 'real life' friends with Lucy and makes equally lovely things. In fact my ripple is identical to hers as I loved it so much I copied it!

http://www.littletinbird.co.uk/2013/08/11/big-rainbow-ripple

I've also done an elmer blanket very similar to hers only I used a different pattern for the squares

http://www.littletinbird.co.uk/2012/07/10/babys-first-blanket

Honestly I'm crochet mad! If you ever want to talk crochet I'm your girl!

X


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## SummerTilly (Aug 14, 2013)

Thanks MummyElf and I would love to talk crochet!  Am away on a work trip for a few days and will order wool on line - how funny - I love her colour pattern too and am planning to do the same one.  I've made blanket throws for my LO and would love to do the single bed cover for when she's a bit older.  

As I become more proficient, I'd like to crochet a pinafore type dress (that she you can wear t-shirts / skivvys under) and also do some handbags with flowers on them. 

For now, I'm delighted to have a pattern that moves me away from granny squares.  I have a book called 200 crochet blocks which is also fabulous.  When I get back, I'll share the author with you - the blocks are so gorgeous my aim is to try them all   SummerTilly x


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

I have the book - its by Jan Eaton


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

I don't remember having ANY relaxing time in the hotel during our intros.  The plan went out of the window pretty fast, as he took to us quickly and we were the primary care givers from day two.  Which caused some problems because we just didn't see the FC doing things with him, so had no idea what he was used to.  

So some days were 7am to 8pm, then drive back to hotel, find a restaurant, eat, talk, sleep.  Get up at 6am to get breakfast before going to FC's house.

You'll probably do some essential shopping for things you weren't sure were coming with them or not.  

Do some research about where to go with LO when you're out and about,and where you can eat when you're by yourselves.  We thought the FC would be able to tell us where to go, but she didn't.

Be prepared for lots of people coming and going at the FC's home, especially if your child isn't the only one in placement.  Our record was three children and eight adults in a seven hour period.  Ignoring them all and focussing on your child is hard work, and can make you feel bad if, like me, you like to be polite and welcoming and friendly.

Intros were the hardest thing I've ever done, but more than compensated for by meeting our son.  The moment he saw us, and ran across the room to grab our photos, then run back to us shouting, "Mummy!  Daddy!"  will never leave me.  Within minutes he was demanding we go up to his room so that he could have us all to himself.  He's pretty much been doing that ever since!  LOL!


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## SummerTilly (Aug 14, 2013)

That's so lovely AoC and I really like your idea of finding out some places to go with LO during intros.  I am going to have the car seat fitted and do a practice getting that in and out of the car with a friend's child as the last thing I want to do is bang her on the noggin the first time I take her anywhere 

I'm sure that there will be lots of things I've forgotten about getting and will do a combo of direct shopping and on-line so that it can be delivered ready for when I get home. 

Not many sleeps left to go now and I hope my FC prepares LO as well as yours appears to have done - she has been with them for around 12 months so has a very strong attachment. 

I will also find out who is likely to be coming and going / in the house during intros, as like you, I enjoy chatting to people etc and want to balance being polite with focusing on my daughter!


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

I'm sure it's going to be brilliant.    Our boy had been with FC for two years, since birth.  Strong attachments to FC really do translate into strong attachments for forever families.


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## SummerTilly (Aug 14, 2013)

That's so brilliant to hear AoC!  Thank you for your reassurance  

I have to admit I've been worrying that she will miss her FC's so much when she first comes to me.  Apparently, these FCs are regarded as the best in my county (very experienced) so I am lucky and I know that they will do their utmost to have her transition to her forever family be a positive one. 

I guess I won't know until she moves in with me what is going to happen and so I will very much be here on these boards seeking advice from all the experienced mummies out there xx


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