# dealing with anxiety and post embryo transfer



## kateHJ

I've just had my second embryo transfer last week, and although i still have to do a test next week as part of the procedure i have already started my period and i know it is a full on period as it feels like it normally does. I'm OK about it although i had more hope this time as i had 2 put back instead of 1 like last time, all from a frozen embryos. I have 4 left in the freezer and plan to have one more try this year before taking a much needed break as i embarked on the IVF Journey since last Christmas. My only problem is remaining calm once the embryos are put back, my body becomes quite up tight with anxiety and i feel it has a negative effect on any implantation hopes. I am one of life's natural worriers. I need to learn some coping skills for the next treatment. Any advise would be greatly received.


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## molly76

Hi Kate,

I used the Zita West meditation CD, it's one for pre and post transfer [ IVF ] and you can buy it on her website. I listened to it prior to transfer and every day post transfer. It's relaxing and really helps you to chill out and visualise and be positive xx Best of luck xx


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## anyamac

Hi Kate
So sorry to hear about AF arriving. It's such a rollercoaster this whole journey.

I'm currently in my 2ww (OTD 14th AUG).
Our first cycle was BFN. This time I went for acupunture before starting again and also had acupuncture on day of transfer.
The guy was amazing. He did Moxibustion and Acupunture on me. Then he wrapped me in soft fleecy blankets and left me to sleep in a room for over an hour. DH was allowed to keep me company. I was so relaxed I could hardly say hi when he entered the room.
The feeling of deep relaxation continued for the rest of the day.

I have also been using the Zita West CD. Usually puts me to sleep half way through, but wake up refreshed and more hopeful. Zita tells you to put your hands on your belly with your thumbs next to your belly button and your forefinger together (forming a heart shape). You can really feel the warmth of your hands warming your womb area. Try visualising your wee embie/s in the heart shape.

I still get my pessimistic days and no idea if it will work but at least I know I have tried everything I could (alongside pineapple juice and brazil nuts).

Acupuncture totally relaxes me.

Sending hugs  .

Dont give up hope. Your baby is still out there waiting for you. 

This story also helps me. One of my FF friends found it on the forum and copied it:
........it's a story a member's  husband reads to her when she is feeling down etc  The sweetest thing I  have ever read........

"[He tells me to close my eyes  and picture an airport in Heaven, a very special airport. Its where all  the babies waiting to be born gather, so they can catch their flight to  their Mam and Dad. In the departure lounge its mad busy. Flights, full  with babies are leaving constantly. Yet there are some little mites who  have been here a long time and it seems the airline has forgotten about  them! 
Theres one little guy who has been waiting here ages. So long  that sometimes he can’t help feel afraid that he's never going to get  home. He watches the screens to see when the next flight to Dublin is,  and is forever asking the staff if he is next. 
When he is tired he  falls asleep in one of the plastic chairs and uses his little bag as a  pillow. His little luggage consists mainly of boppies, nappies, babygros  and a giant Toblerone bar for his Mammy that he bought in Duty Free.  He's dying for a piece of it but he's keeping it for his Mammy as a  little present. 
Sometimes he gets excited and thinks they have  called his flight number but they haven't and he gets dissapointed that  its not yet his turn.
Sometimes he just stares out the window at the  runway, watching all the planes take off and sheds a few private little  tears. He can hear some of the other babies laughing and cheering as  their flight number is called and although he is delighted for them, he  wishes he was going to. He sits with the other babies who have been  waiting a long time, even much, much longer than he has. 
Then came  the glorious day when all his dreams came true and they did call his  flight number! He grabbed up his little bag, the giant Toblerone and his  plane ticket. He couldn’t believe his turn had finally come! It was so  wonderful that he even asked his little buddies beside him if he was  dreaming, and if he was, they weren’t to wake him up! 
Well, the  little fella didn’t need to be called twice! He got himself first in the  Q and soon as he was allowed, he ran down the little tunnel to the  aeroplane. He wiped a tear from his eyes as he spotted the little green  shamrock on the tail of the plane, just before he stepped on board. A  green shamrock... this plane was going to take him to Ireland... and  Ireland was home. He wondered how excited his Mammy and Daddy must be,  waiting for his plane to land. He knew they would have his little  bedroom all ready for him. 
He was too excited to be nervous about  the flight. He held his breath as the plane took off. “This is it!” he  thought. “I’m on my way!!!” 
But...it seems some prayers are destined  to remain unanswered... no sooner was the plane cruising in the air  when the stewardesses announced that the plane had to turn back to the  airport and let all the little passengers off. Something about a  technical fault... 
The dissapointment of this was heartbreaking for  the little guy-he just wanted to get on a plane and go meet his Mammy  for the first time. Why was this so hard 
With a heavy heart he  made his way back into the airport terminal with the other babies. In  the departure lounge there is a Karaoke machine and its become a bit of a  ritual when a flight is cancelled, that the little babies make their  way into the lounge for a soda and cheer themselves up with singing some  Karaoke. Apparently "Dont stop believing" by Journey is their favourite  karaoke song! They also love "Livin on a prayer'. 
But when a flight  has been cancelled there is only one song that will dry the tears and  fill the hearts with hope and cheer again.. 'I knew you were waiting for  me'....
The little guy tries to stay in good form but it isn’t  always easy and sometimes he gives out to the staff saying "my Mammy has  been waiting ages for me! I'm next in the Q!" 
Then... one wonderful day, not too long after, they call out his name again... 
He  can't believe it. He rubs his little eyes and goes up to join the Q,  not running this time. His tiny hand still holds the plane ticket which  says his Mammy’s name and the Rotunda Hospital. The writing is starting  to smear cos he's been holding it so long in his sweaty little fist. His  little legs are shaking. He knows that at any moment they can shatter  his dreams by telling him he cannot fly today. As he steps onto the  plane, his little heart is pounding with excitement! He can't believe  it! He's finally on board again. 
The plane is full of rows of happy  babies, all settling down for their long journey which will end when  they meet their Mammy and Daddy in October. Then all of a sudden, as he  approaches his seat he realizes some other little dude is sitting in  it!!! 
Their tickets are identical! 
So he puts his little bag  overhead and snuggles up with his new brother. He's overjoyed to have a  little buddy for the journey. They chat to the other babies beside them,  telling anyone who will listen that they are on their way to Dublin in  Ireland to meet their Mammy!!! They Around 27 weeks into the flight,  there was a scare onboard. The pilot thought he would have to make an  emergency landing. My 2 little babes held onto each other tightly but it  was a false alarm. The plane was back on track in no time. All the  little babies broke out in a huge round of applause. Soon they start to  see beautiful green fields they are over Ireland... and Ireland is home.  The little guys catch their breath as they take it all in... "we're  over Ireland!" 
We're nearly home now...
In their dreams they hear their Mammy sing to them;
"Where it was dark now theres light
Where there was pain now theres joy
Where there was weakness I found my strength
All in the eyes of my boys....."
The plane touches down at Dublin Airport to cheering and applauding from all the little babies. ”. 
They  pull up outside the Rotunda and puts enough money into the machine for  an hour or two. This caesarean won’t take too long... they take a deep  breath, grabs the giant Toblerone and rushes to Theatre One... 
They  look up to see a smiling face looking down at them. Their little noses  are kissed a thousand times. They fall asleep contentedly in her arms  within minutes, so happy. This is the lady they have seen in their  dreams...their Mammy... they are finally home...

Meanwhile back at the airport, it is as busy as ever...."


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## Kitty71

Hi girls,

Kate I just wanted to wish you the best and I hope you can find something to help you relax.

And anymac that little story is so sweet, it's mad me cry though which isn't good because I'm at work (luckily on my own though)   

I wish we didn't all have to go through this, it can be so cruel.

Take care all,

Kitty x


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## Hopingfor

Hi Kate

Just wanted to wish you well rather than lurk. 
The meditation thing sounds a great idea.  

You might want to try a technique I've learned which is similar, I suffered panic attacks, and this has been great for calming me down. You find a 'quiet place' - mine is a wee walk down to a beach I know. But it could be anywhere at all, somewhere you are familiar with though is best. The minute I start to feel anxious or if I know its an anxious situation, I imagine myself on my wee walk, and I make it as detailed in my mind as I can. The weather conditions where the sun is in the sky, the grass under my feet, the ebb of the tide. I find it only takes a few seconds now and I'm cool, calm and collected.

wishing you all baby success and sending


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## fairywings

and welcome to Fertility Friends kate 

Please have a good look around the boards, feel free to post in any area, and make yourself at home. Fertility Friends is such a huge support. There are many who are on their TTC journey, and others who have been fortunate to have little ones with assistance. You will soon discover that our members are very encouraging of one another and offering advice or just simple hugs. There's a vast amount of information here for everyone, so start reading, posting and getting to know others. You will make some great friends too (add them to your buddy list in your profile!), lots of members often have meet ups locally too, for chats, coffee, shopping or even nights out! You can share conversations with one another freely, simply because we all understand each other. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what this journey entails and the emotions that go with it. That's where we come in!

Here are some links which you should find really useful at the moment&#8230;&#8230;

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

You will find ladies also on their two week wait here, for support and advice......
*2WW, Ladies in Waiting ~ *CLICK HERE

This may be interesting to you.....
*Complimentary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ *CLICK HERE 

*Peer Support (for asking fertility and treatment related questions of your fellow FFers) ~ * CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. It's a small world!

Wishing you lots of luck    and 

Keep in touch

Fairywings xx


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## kateHJ

Thank you all for you kind advise, i'll take all your ideas on board and i just need to keep positive even when i have my dark days. I'll try and see the rainbows


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