# New and feeling low



## purple75 (Dec 6, 2005)

Hi All, 

I posted on the introductions forum yesterday, and someone pointed me in this direction as I am experincing secondary infertility. I had DD in May 03 and have been trying for #2 since June 04 and have irregular AF and found after having a HSG that I have a blocked tube.

It would be good to chat to others that are in the same position as me, so I don't feel like I am going completely loopy and being selfish wanting another child when I have already got 1 beautiful DD. 

Hope to be chating to you all soon. 

Katex


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## MrsRedcap (Jan 6, 2006)

Hiya Kate  

Your not being selfish at all...it doesn't matter whether you have either 1 child or 10!!! the need is still the same as someone who is childless. It's a natural woman thing.

I have two boys...one 16 and one 9 and want another child with my new husband...I had a reversal in 2004 and lost my right tube to an ectopic in october.

So your not alone darlin...There's loads on here in your position who already have kids and are struggling to conceive another.

Love

Vicki x


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## angel above (Nov 15, 2005)

Hi I have been trying now for 2.5yrs for no 2 and am taking clomid. Every month just gets worse and worse and I feel such a failure. If you have one tube blocked but the other okay you must still have a good chance of success, I am about to have an hsg done to check my tubes. Good luck.


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## Bunjack (Nov 30, 2005)

Kate - 

you're not alone - my dd is about 6 months older than your and my hsg is booked for Monday. 

Its just as bad this time round as the last wanting a child so badly. In some ways its worse 'cos you know you can do it and how wonderful it all was. And you want to add to your family for the benefit of all already in it. It doesn't mean you love your daughter any less, it doesn't mean you are more / less deserving than someone waiting for their first - its just as frustrating. 

One thing I find hard is not geting completely obsessed with it as I did last time 'cos that would detract from the joy I have with dd anyhow. 

Hey we're women we're meant to feel guilty - and its worse when you are mother too 'cos there's more guilt there with that teritory too!

What are your next steps? I'm hoping after my HSG I'll be able to plan the nxt stage a bit more. 

until then - chin up!

take care 
Bethan x


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## mancgal_644 (Oct 18, 2004)

Hi Kate 

First of all welcome to ff  its a great support in times of need im 25 and have a son who is 7  i lost both my tubes to eptopics. So have faced infertility since i was 22 

Although there are some  on the site who have children we still have the same emotions as all the others who havent are we bad people for feeling that way no were human and have feelings to.  Ive had friends not ff related i mean close friends who say well your lucky you have one  yes i am i know everyday when he wakes up  but i cant switch my feelings off. What im trying to say is  your not alone were about on here to hunni  

Kerry x


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## Guest (Jan 12, 2006)

Hi Kate

Welcome to FF  

I agree with all of the ladies here (especially Kerry)

I am 28 (soon) and have a wonderful 10 (almost 11) year old son and the want to have another child is no less then If it was my first.  I have been married 5 year's this year and I would love a child with my DH.  He is such a fantastic husband and father to my son that it makes it worse that I can't give him a child at the moment.  My family keep telling me that I am lucky to have my son.  I know that but it does not stop the hurt when my af arrives each month  , or stop my heart from racing when I am late, only for af too turn up when I decided to test ( suffer from PCOS)   

So NO i don't think that you are selfish.  Please feel free to im me anytime   

Charlotte


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## purple75 (Dec 6, 2005)

Hi All, 

Thanks for all your replies,   its great to know I'm not alone - and that all my feelings are 'normal'! (What is normal?). 

I have a follow up appointment on 23rd Jan following HSG as Christmas and New Year got in the way of appointments, no idea what is going to be said, before the HSG the consultant said if everything is okay then I would be put onto hormones to help ovulation (i am very irregular) but now there is a problem not sure what will happen. 

Will keep you updated. 

Thanks again

Katex


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## Bunjack (Nov 30, 2005)

Kate - 

Good luck for the 23rd - hope they are able to shed some light for you as to the next stage

take care

Bethan X


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## lisawill (Feb 25, 2005)

hi everyone i too have a daughter who is 11,i have been trying for 8 yrs been pregnant once but had a m/c then was put onto clomid and went on to have a ectopic pregnancy so now  having ivf (it will be my third go at trying to get a good response from drugs) my daughter is from a different partner,nobody is selfish for wanting more children.
the amount of people that say to me oh well at least you have already got a child and i know how lucky i am,but it doesn't stop the hurt and pain of wanting another child good luck to all you ladies lisa xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## pinkpear (Feb 8, 2006)

hello everyone on this thread. have been reading around ff for some time but not yet taken the plunge to share my story. DH46 me 37  ds age 3 who is the light of my life took 2 years to conceive-naturally  have not used any contraception since having him! DH developed medical problem now found out after 2 years  that dh  has male factor infertility. he's feeling guilty, I'm guilty for making a big thing about needing another baby. have been on a rollercoaster of emotions for months thinking i am selfish to upset the happy family we have and for trying for assisted conception which is likely to be isci(lister appointment soon). then there is the guilt-the money-could go towards my sons education,is it just my need to be 'pregnant again' how will it all affect my son, what if something all goes wrong, DH can't see what all the fuss is about having help but he doesn't have to go thru all the hormonal changes etc. my PMT is getting worse and i am now an official worrier and anxiety queen which is far from my usual happy go lucky self. have a friend who has made the decision to stick with one child following 2m/c so now feel guilty that i don't want to do that. so pleased to have found this site to share all the emotions and to learn about what lies ahead. there are so many of us with secondary infertility-its a growing problem.


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## lisawill (Feb 25, 2005)

hi pink pear
i know where you are comming from i have posted alot on the ivf thread and have two felt really guilty about it because i already have a little girl, and most of them on there have not got any children but that doesn't stop me from having the same feelings as them and wanting to have another child and going through the rollercoaster journey on ivf 
i have not been able to respond to the drugs to get enough follies ti get me to ec stage yet so trying to get my drugs right at the moment 
are you going to try ivf (SORRY FOR BEING NOSEY) but generally this site is amazing and you will find so many people in the same boat as yourself 
once again good luck in whatever you decide to do in the future 
take care lisaxxxxxxxxxxx


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## lisawill (Feb 25, 2005)

pinkpear 
sorry for being rude just read that you have a appt soon good luck xxxxxxxxx lisa xxxxxxxxxx


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## pinkpear (Feb 8, 2006)

hi lisa 3rd attempt at trying to reply keep losing my connection after writing loads! so before it goes just to say thanks for replying, hope u get lots of follies next time round-fingers crossed and thanks for letting me know i am not just being greedy for wanting another child. the desire is so strong  and look forward to getting on the merrygoround  to up my chances. I have an  appointment in March


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## Maxfax (Feb 21, 2006)

Hello! I am new on this site, and have no idea what most of the abbrevaitions mean yet so forgive me, I'll try to learn! I have read lots of posts and am SO pleased to have found people in the same situation that understand the pain.
I have a DS born 02   been trying since 03 for another. I really hit an all time low yesterday with it all  Am on chlomid, have had 3 mnths, no joy. DH has ok sperm count but motility 38%, not sure if that is really bad or not. I have thyroid prblems diagnosed last Sept am on thyroxine.  Am being investigated for unrelated autoimmune issues. The chlomid is yuck! Am so tearful or bad tempered.  I don't think you should ever feel bad for wanting more children, its natural just so painful when its a struggle and the feelings of inadequacy can be overwhelming. Its hard when people tell you to feel grateful for what you already have but I guess they have NO idea what you are struggling with, its such a deep and strong desire all rational comments mean nothing when the desire of your heart is not a reality. I really sympathise.  
Maxfax


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