# new and worried



## karusia90 (Dec 4, 2012)

Hi ladies!
So, I'm new single parent to be. My ex-partner split up with me yesterday. I need to go through IVF ASAP due to diminished ovarian reserve and hazardous for fertility work conditions. We planned to have IVF and freeze embryos to use them when I get done with my grad school and PhD. So, now I'm in doubt: should I have IVF with donor sperm or just freeze (vitrificate) my eggs and have ICSI when I decide it's time to have a child (hopefully with new partner, so child will be genetically his). I'm fine with the split up but extremely worried about upcoming cycle and how to communicate it to the clinic. I'm with the Lister.  Do you have any experience with them? Are they OK with single women? BTW what would you do if you were me: eggs freezing or IVF w/ donor sperm?


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

i think your age has some bearing on whether to go for ivf/donor or egg freezing.

i think if you are younger egg freezing is the better option, but age-wise there is a point where it would be better to get on with having a go at ivf.

it's certainly a dilemma there are a lot of questions you could ask yourself, such as
if i have donor ivf and it doesn't work first time, how many attempts would i have?
if i froze some eggs and ivf'ed some, and it worked, would i still want to use the frozen eggs?
if i froze some and ivf'ed some, and it didn't work, would i want to use the frozen ones with donor sperm?
how would i feel if i froze some eggs then met a new partner who couldn't or wouldn't use them with me? would i still want to go ahead at that stage and use donor sperm to fertilize them? 

good luck with your decision


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

yes, Lister treats single women so there is no problem in that respect
as I understand it, success rates with frozen eggs are low/unknown. natclare (posts on singles board or PM her) has done this and I seem to recall she was advised to go through several cycles to freeze sufficient eggs to give herself a decent chance in the future
she's 34 so relatively young and has time on her side. as goldbunny says, the older you are the lower the success rates (with either IVF or egg freezing)
if you have diminished ovarian reserve then I wonder if egg freezing is even an option for you? I would suggest you discuss with your clinic and see what their advice would be
lots of questions to ask and lots to think about. I imagine the Lister has a fertility counsellor - would perhaps be worth a session or two with them to work through some of this and help you come to the right decision for you at this time, must be difficult to be going through all this along with a relationship break up    
good luck, I hope you find a way forward that works for you
Suitcase
x


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## karusia90 (Dec 4, 2012)

Thank you girls for your encouraging replies. I'm "just" 22, so have plenty of time to find a new partner and start a family but my ovaries behave like they're over 40': high FSH, low AMH and AFC  
Due to work and studies I would like to choose the option which will give me the best outcome and limit number of cycles to 2 or 3. 
I definitely will meet with the counselor to discuss it but IMHO it's the best to freeze some eggs and some embryos. I'm quite worried that it'll be hard with my premature ovarian failure to get plenty of eggs


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I would ask the Lister for advice but as you are so young I would probably freeze the eggs, ask they if you need several cycles. As you say you hope to meet a new partner in the future and he may want a genetic child of his own, if you cycle 3 or 4 times then you would have a fair amount to 'bank' . good luck


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

well look at it this way, my ovaries *are* 42 and i"m waiting for my 12 week scan! amh etc doesn't tell the whole story, you might respond very well to drug treatments. you're fortunate that you know what is going on and can take steps and make decisons now, some people don't find out they have low amh etc til much later. i only got 11 eggs at first ivf and only 7 on my second go, which was pretty scary but we had 6 out of 7 fertilize which was amazing. you only need 1 or two good embryos... even a few eggs could be enough. x


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## karusia90 (Dec 4, 2012)

thanks a lot for your support! I talked with the clinic and decided to freeze eggs, probably will need 2 to 5 cycles to freeze enough but we'll see in Jan. Fingers crossed and  .
Goldbunny, congrats!


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