# Question for all those with a child already that isn't from DE



## Loopylou41

Hi

I hope you don't mind me asking this question as I would like to gain some views.  I have a daughter aged 6 who we conceived with no problems.  I am now post menopause at the age of 39 and looking to go ahead with DE.  One thing that worries me is will I feel differently to a child that isn't genetically mine?  So, we talked about adoption and that is a no goer as my husband said he wouldn't consider that.  He will support me with DE and obviously it would be genetically his child, but not mine.  But when I spoke to a friend recently she said she wouldn't consider doing DE as it wouldn't be for her and now it has put doubts in my mind.  Any info or experiences you have with this would be great.  Especially anyone who is in my situation and maybe pregnant with DE or thinking of going down this route.

Many thanks
Louise


----------



## chicksmum

Hi Louise

I do not have any experience of your situation but can offer you some inslight into my thought process while we were considering adoption (before starting IVF). My DH was worried about how we would bond with an adoptive child, given that we have a biological child. My argument was that I learnt to love him so why wouldn't I learn to love our adoptive child (and he was a loss less loveable believe me!). Given that you would be carrying a baby from DE and it would be genetically related to your DH, you would be much less likely to suffer with any attachment issues. It would be your child just with different genetics. 

Just because your friend feels differently about DE doesn't mean its not right for you. People also feel differently when they are not in the middle of a situation (I swore I would never consider IVF after having #1 and said if I had problems 2nd time I would just accept having 1, but thats not the way I felt at all when I had problems conceiving #2)

Wishing all the best with making the decision and any subsequent treatments.
xx


----------



## Kuki2010

Hi Louise,
I am in the same situation. I have got my dearest doughter from my 1st ICSI in 2007. I have trying since than for my second. 6 treatments 2 m/c later I came to the end with my own eggs. We are going to do last own egg and own sperm treatment in november for last time. And this is for try it with fresh cycle with all the immune drugs to say to myself I have tried it all. Next step will be Donor embryo and donor sperm fresh cycle in the new year in Reprofit. If that does not work not sure what to do. I will give up a little and get on with life as 3 of us till we have more money and power to try again. 
We both love to have more children. It would have been great to have it relate to us 3 geneticly but if it does not it is not end of the world. We will have it connected to us in any other way. It will be my deares child and my husbands and specially it will be my darling daughters sibling. We all will adore it. Cherish it.. Love it with all we have got.. It is like adobtion but even better. Cos you will have it from day one. You will give birth to it. Yes it is going to be your baby it will just not carry your genes.. That is all..
Wishing you lots and lot sof luck.
Love.
Kukixx


----------



## Mazza1971

Hi Louise,

We are in exactly the same boat. My DH won't consider adoption as the child is not genetically his however would support me in having donor egg with his sperm. Financially we can't commit to this at the moment as I beleive that you should give yourself 3 attempts. We could however have 3 attempts using donated embryo's for the same cost as one doner egg cycle but my DH has said quite emphatically that he won't consider this as the child is not genetically his. In some ways this annoys me as he seems to think it is fine for the child not to be genetically linked to me! However, I do beleive that that because you are the person who is nurturing the baby genetics won't come into it! However, people that have not been affected by infertility can't begin to understand the yearning for another child. When I brought it up one of my friends said God I could never do that, you could end up with a really ugly fat child and who would want that! she has fallen pregnant at the drop of a hat both times.

I honestly believe that you will love the child no differently than your first born that is genetically yours! However, I am not sure I would be really open with everyone that it was conceived using donor egg, but I would always be honest with any child born.

Hope this has helped. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

Mary xx


----------



## drownedgirl

There is no difference in my feelings for my children


----------



## Loopylou41

Thanks so much to all of you who replied, I feel so much better now and in fact I have to admit I am excited as we have booked our appointment at CRM to go on the DE waiting list..... 

Good luck ladies with your journeys.  

Louise
x


----------



## malabar girl

HI Louise I have 2 DD from my first 2 husbands both concieved naturally they are 19 and 12 years old. My 3rd husband and I had 6 pg togther all ending in m/c he has raised my dd as his own and all I wanted was to give him what he craved his own child. So last april I went to greece and had 2 cycles and I was lucky to fall pg and in march my dd was born. I do not even give her another thought that she is not mine I carried an worried about her for the whole 9 months and I was in love with her before I met her. I am going back again to greece in Jan as the cut off age is 51 and I will be 51 in may so I have no time to waste. No one knows that she was concieved via donor and she looks exactly the same as my eldest dd and my youngest dd said " mum how can that happen"? " she has a different dad and they look the same" eldest dd said "silly she gets her looks from mum   

So I would say go for it you will never regret it and ppl don't understand. If ppl are not going to be postive and supportive toward you then don't share your thoughts with them. Good luck love malabar


----------



## Loopylou41

Hi Malabar Girl

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post, that is really reassuring.  I am so glad you managed to have a lovely daughter, it must have been so lovely for you both.  I believe when you have a baby with your partner it is a true bond and nothing comes close to it.  I am sure in the 9 months I carry a baby (if successful with our treatment) I will love it and nurture it like I did my DD.  You are right in what you say about people's comments and so we have decided not to tell anyone except maybe my mother but only if treatment is successful.  

As I am post menopause some of my close friends may wonder but we will say it is a miracle baby, it can happen apparently when you have premature ovarian failure.  I know it probably wouldn't for me as the scan showed no follicles and very thin lining, so DE is the only route for us, but they won't know that.

Good luck with your forthcoming treatment and fingers crossed you are successful.

Louise
x


----------



## JBox

Hi Iknapp, 

I am 30 weeks pregnant with a de... my first child was conceived entirely naturally and after only about 3 months after coming off the pill. She is now 4. inbetween then and now, i had 3 m/cs with my own eggs, 6 IUIS, 7 IVF treatments and 2 DE treatments, i got pregnant on my second cyle of donor eggs. HOw do i feel? well if you read any of my posts you will see that even now, i am still struggling with this. i am not going to lie. I think i got to a point that i was so desperate to get and stay pregnant, that the how it happened sort of became inconsequential - it was like i was trying to beat infertility as i didnt want to be a failiure....dont get me wrong me and my husband went to councelling talked about it constantly and came to the realisation that if we wanted to extend our family this really was our only viable option, and as i wasnt getting any younger ( was 39 at time) we decided to take the plunge. At every stage of this pregnancy ( and it really hasnt been an easy one, i have had lots of problems along the way), for me the happiness has been tinged with a lot of sadness, tears and concerns. Even now, i am worrying about what this baby will look like, and how will i explain it away if it comes out blonde blue eyed, ( we are all dark hair and dark eyes). We have decided not to tell anyone for a couple of reasons; 1) coz i am just not ready yet, i still feel like i am a fraud... i still feel that even though i am pregnant and in theory the luckiest girl in the world, i still dont feel that this is "MY" baby yet, so i am not confident enough to discuss the conception with anyone else, and 2) until we decide that we want to tell the child, we wont tell anyone else as i feel it is her ( yes i am having a girl) right to know before anyone else. I am hoping that by the time the baby arrives, it will all become irrelevant ( as i have read in other peoples experiences) and i will feel no differently about this baby than i do about my little girl, that i will fall so head over heels with this little baba, that i will become confident enough to not care waht others think and will tell them that i had the help of a donor to make this child happen. 

every single person in our position on this site, has written that they do not love their children any differently. I can only hope that i will be the same. at the moment, i just think they must all be the most magnomious people, big hearted, loving, unjudgemental and kind, coz the way i feel at the moment, is anything but that... i feel unconnected and only worried that i have done a completely mad and thing that has lifelong consequences!!!!

My dh and i are very real people and very down to earth and practical....we both are worried, and nervous, and stressed. he has a 16 yr old girl who lives with us from his first marriage, and as much as i love my step daughter, and i do, ( its taken me a long time!) i dont feel anywhere as much as i do for her as i do for my little 4 year old. and even though i know the relationship is different, i didnt carry my step daughter, i didnt give birth to her, she has a mother and a family who yes, she doestn see, but still are there, i still worry that my feelings towards the new baby will be like that!

anyway, DE is not for everyone  - and its not a decision you make lightly. I hope that things work out with you and i hope that your treatment is successful and you get to extend your family. 

Much luck......


----------



## fragele

Ho gosh I am comtemplating thsi too its been weird afterhaving deformed embryos or our second IVF we decided not to go forward and i went to clinic and tehy suggested DE which I was shocked at really but my husband is fine with this idea but not DS so I am left with lost of questions about if I did DE would Ilovethem like my birth child who is 4 now. I aslo was also keen on adoption and hav enow been thrown by thsi suggestion any advice welcome.


----------



## seahorse10

Hi, I am in almost the same situation as JBox, i.e. 29 weeks preg with DE with a 4 year old conceived naturally and easily. We haven't had such a hard journey- we had a failed attempt at IVF and were told that DE was really the only option. It was a difficult decision but in the end, we really wanted another baby and felt that we are only using a few cells from the donor and it was going to be my body nurturing and growing the baby. Throughout the process I had doubts and swung between thinking it was a brilliant thing to do, and thinking we were completely mad to even consider it. I cried after the procedure. The first preg test was negative and whilst I was half devastated, I was also half relieved. I convinced myself that it was for the best, then it turned out I was actually pregnant. I am gradually getting more and more used to it all, I have periods where I am full of doubt, I worry about whether I will bond with the baby - but I think I had those thoughts when I was pregnant the first time. I worry about whether I will love it as much as my adored daughter- but I think lots of second time parents worry about that too. I had intended to be very open with people about it but have ended up telling very few people- I think it's an indication of my own discomfort with the situation. However it is something I am glad to say that I am thinking about less as the pregnancy has progressed. I have had a difficult pregnancy and some days think it could be the worst decision we ever made. Having said that I am 99% sure that when I have given birth and am feeding and caring for it it will feel just as much mine. Good luck with your decision! PS We joined the Donor Conception Network which was helpful.


----------



## Loopylou41

Hi Seahorse10

Many thanks for your reply, it has made me feel a bit better.  Today I was having a very negative day about it all but having read your post I feel better.  I think because I have been very positive about it all the last few weeks it is hard when I have a day where I have doubts.  But, I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter having these feelings too about having a baby, the responsibility, sleep deprevation, change of life, how a new baby effects your relationship with your partner and I am sure that if we keep talking about our feelings we will be fine.  I have become a bit obsessive at looking at children to see if they look like their parents...   I'm sure I will get over that one... 

Also, I think the waiting gets to you after a while.  We have just done the sperm test to ensure it is up to the job and I phoned the Clinic last week to be told we are high on the waiting list and could get the phone call any day now, that made me feel really excited and anxious at the same time.  

I wonder how I will love another child as I do my DD, she is my World but I am sure any parent who has a second child thinks the same thing.  She often talks about having a baby brother or sister and is very good with very young children as there are lots at the childminder she goes to, including the childminders own 3 children, all under 4.  How is your DD with younger children, has she asked for a brother or sister?

As for telling people, like you I have told 2 people and my husband has told 2 because he feels comfortable in telling just them.  We are not telling family except my mum but even then I may only tell her if we are successful, although my husband says I should tell her so I have somebody to pour out my feelings if we are not successful as he thinks I am going to be very upset, which he is probably right, I will be.  I guess if we are lucky we will have some frosties that may be able to be used for back up.  

I wish you lots of luck with your pregnancy and would love to hear from you when you have had the baby.

Louise


----------



## malabar girl

Hi everyone just a quick up date from me I am back from greece and tested positive on my blood test the bhcg level was 1,810 so no need to repeat just a scan on the 20th of feb. Good luck everyone I will be 51 in may so you all have plenty of time. Malabar


----------



## Loopylou41

Fantastic Malabar girl, I am so pleased for you.  You must be very excited.  We are waiting for sperm test results which should be in next week just to be sure it will be up to the job.  We are nearly at the top of the list with CRM so hoping to get a phone call within the next few weeks.  Good luck with the scan.

Louise
x


----------



## JBox

Hey
I just wanted to update u my end. I had a little girl exactly two weeks ago today and I can not tell u how much I love her - it sometimes makes me cry at how much I feel for her. I think about the donor but hardly at all - I just look at my baby and think how lucky I am to have her. I love her so much and exactly the same as my oe daughter and yes I worried that I would never be able to love another child like my daughter but I really do. I was a nervous emotional wreck throughout my pregnancy and I can honestly say hand on heart that this was the best decision I have ever made. I know you will all feel the same too xxxxx


----------



## Loopylou41

Hey JBox, many congratulations to you and I am so glad you are happy.  Fantastic you have your beautiful baby daughter and feel like you do.  Good luck with the next few weeks, I remember they are pretty hard going.... .  Thanks for letting us know your good news.  

Louise


----------



## malabar girl

Jbox big congrats you will be like us we never ever think about donor again since she was concieved these children are our children glad you are feeling positive. I have had my dd for almost one year now and I am 5 weeks pg again I am so blessed.
good luck everyone.


----------



## Monkey2008

Hi all

I am very glad that I have found this thread as it asks exactly the same questions that are in my mind at the moment. We have a 3 year old boy - it took us nearly 4 years to conceive him and we lost a twin ivf pregnancy en route. We would love another one but have had no sniff of a BFP since he was born, including 2 fresh ivf cycles. So I am starting to think of other options - dh and I agree that we would prefer de to adoption but sometimes I find it difficult to get my head round a 2nd child not having my genes. It's good to hear the thoughts on here and as always on FF great to know I am not alone!

Good luck to all
xx


----------



## melloumaw

hi louise,
im looking into egg sharing and wanted find out about genetics etc,
i personally feel that im not donating an embryo and that all my egg will be is a vessel for a baby,
i have read up on genetic and blood crossover in donated eggs,the embryo will in fact have a %age of the carrying mother due to blood flow to and from the placenta etc,this surely means that even though you have not produced the egg yourself you have created a child that has in most part both yours and your partners genetics
hope this makes sense
mel


----------



## Hopefulat35

Hi mel
I've heard about cross over with donated eggs but would love to read about it. Can you recommend any sites?

Thanks


----------



## melloumaw

http://www.greenes.org.uk/2012/02/what-is-three-way-ivf/
hope this works
will try to find the original post i read

/links


----------



## melloumaw

found another that explains about genetic traits being "learned" ie the environment you are brought up in and the p[people around you.
my eldest daughter's features mirror that of my now husband who has been around longer than her birth father,she has the same shape nose and facial expressions as her step daddy and in-fact people have often commented how like their daddy all 3 girls are,i don't correct them because to look at them you would think they are his.
i do honestly believe when you donate eggs all you are doing is giving a helping hand to someone else,the way they nurture that embryo within and raise the child is what makes them their child. 
this link explains that their is no physical blood crossover but nutrients and fluids etc flow from mum to baby of which some has to stick.
if i am lucky enough to donate i honestly don't feel that im connected to the eggs any more once they are taken out of me,that's where my journey ends with them,
if a friend needed some eggs to make a cake,she has the oven,her husband fetches other ingredients and they make the cake together,in no way is any of that cake mine.i just gave her a few bits to help her make it.
its the bit further down about epigenetics
http://www.giftovlife.com/EggDonorParents_FAQ.aspx
mel x

/links


----------



## Hopefulat35

Thank you so much for posting that. We don't know yet if I can manage any treatment with my oe or if we will have to go down an ed route. I feel really reassured now for what ever happens   tank you


----------



## lilyandsusie

Hi - new here so excuse any gaffs!
Just to say I too am in the position of having a 4 yr old son and just about to embark on DEIVF. My gorgeous son was conceived naturally, literally on the first go (sorry if TMI!) and I sailed through pregnancy, felt great, fabulous c/s delivery, and a beautiful boy. Two years later, with much patting ourselves on the back and celebration, another BFN... six weeks later m/c, one year later another m/c, then two goes at ovarian hyperstimulation, followed by two failed OE IVFs - last one heartbreaking. It never occurred to me four years ago that I would ever have any problems having a baby, and it has been a really hard journey coming to the realisation that I may never have another child. I know I am so blessed to already have one son, but that doesn't seem to take away the grief for the one I may never have; I just can't get past the feeling that there is someone missing from our family...

So.... we are just about to start DEIVF, having been initially totally against the idea. My eggs are simply too rubbish to go through OE IVF again, and we just want the chance to complete our family. We simply don't know whether or what to tell other people or, please God, the child. I think if we hadn't already got a child, we would have told people no problem - why not? But I really really don't want other people to make any distinction between our DS and any DE sibling, or to consider them "half-siblings" (horrible), or to feel differently about them. Also, I have to say that whilst most of me is confident I won't feel that way (after all, I will be carrying the child, how can I not be his/her mummy?) there is also a teeny bit of me that worries I won't be quite so magnanimous when the moment comes.

we are coming to the view that if we can, we would probably not say anything, but as the nurse at our clinic (fabulous clinic, lovely staff, NO waiting list for us for donor yipee, and I think not as expensive as some others I have heard/read about) told us, if we decide not to tell, then one person outside the clinic who knows is one person too many (FF excluded of course!), ie all or nothing.

Still, we have a counselling appointment  in a couple of days, and all being well I start treatment towards the end of 
Feb, with ET probably the first or second week of April. Keeping everything crossed...

Just also to say although I have just joined and finally plucked up courage to post, reading FF throughout the past year has been really helpful and amazing how supportive it can be. 
Thanks and all the luck in the world to all...


----------



## Hopefulat35

Hi lilyandsusie welcome to the wonderful support that is ff! 

I'm not quite as far down the road as you and am just about to try stimulating my oes but know that there is a high probability we will have to look at de. 

DH and I have had long discussions about would we tell and have reached the following conclusion. If we were to have treatment here and the donor was traceable then we would probably tell. If however we went to Europe where donors area anonymous then we would not tell the child as I think it would be really hard to be told that you had a donor mum that you couldn't know anything about or ever meet. We'd have to tell my parents as they will have to help us with any costs but no one else would know. 

Good luck with your journey! And congratulations on having your treatment all booked in!


----------



## Loopylou41

Hi LilyandSusie

Welcome to FF and the thread that I started that seems to be getting longer and longer with lots of others inputting their feelings and thoughts which is absolutely great.  When I posted it I hoped to get one or two replies but it seems it is attracting a few others with the same feelings and thoughts as me.  It is SO nice to share things on here and at times I feel like I am keeping a great BIG secret and want to tell people who are important in our lives.

Your post has worried me a bit about what you were told.  We have told 4 people altogether, 3 of whom are distant people and just know because we had to talk to somebody.  1 person is very close to me, I have known her since I was 10 and although we don't see each other very often is an important friend in my life.  There isn't anything about me she doesn't know and was even there when I was in labour with my DD, who now has her name as her middle name.  I know she wouldn't say anything but like you say it is a risk.  We, like you came to the conclusion we wouldn't tell if we were successful because of the comparison by others and also the child.  Because I would worry if we had another girl she would always feel inferior to our daughter. It is great you are already on track to start treatment, can I ask what clinic you are going to?  We were told recently we are near the top of the list, so I am hopeful for a phone call in the next month or so.  Everytime my mobile rings with an unidentifiable number I hold my breathe..  


Best of luck with your treatment, I am interested in your progress if you don't mind posting.. 

Louise


----------



## olivia m

Hi all
You may be interested to know that DC Network has recently published a booklet called Mixed Blessings: Building a family with and without donor help. So many people were coming to the Network who had at least one child without help and needing an egg donor for the second and who felt anxious about feeling 'different' about a DE child, that we wrote something specially for this group. You can download it for a small fee from http://www.donor-conception-network.org/telltalkpubs.htm
Olivia

/links


----------



## lilyandsusie

Hi Hopefulat35 and LKanpp and all...

It really is so good to hear from other people in our position... although we have been open with friends and family about having IVF, we are really in two minds about telling people about using donor eggs, and I completely agree with you that it feels like we are keeping a big secret from the very people who have been so supportive so far. In particular, I have a close friend who really has been there for me throughout the m/cs and treatments, and I saw her the other day and didn't tell her about the possibility of DE IVF (even though it was all I could think about on the journey there), and I felt really bad afterwards, as if I was hiding something from her... bonkers! But she has two girls, and as much I love her, she does use the sharing of private information as a bonding exercise, with both other friends and her daughters, and  my family have a well established grapevine, so tell one, tell all! I feel that we ought to be open and honest blah blah blah, but I am so worried about any new child feeling different, less a part of our family or somehow isolated from us, and equally anyone else having those feelings about our new child. Plus very selfishly I don't know how I would feel if he/she decided to trace the "real" mother... actually I do; I think I would be gutted...

We are at CARE Northampton - we had our initial appointment with the donor nurse on monday 6 Feb, with CMV blood tests that day, and on friday 10th, the nurse phoned with news of an altruistic donor! We were/are in shock - I was planning a 3 month get fit and healthy campaign which has now been fast tracked! Had a pretreatment scan today, counselling tomorrow, and I start Buserelin on Sunday!Phew! The donor is a week behind me, so aiming for ET first week April. Oddly, feel very weird that I won't be there for egg harvesting and fertilisation bit... funny which bits chime.

I think we have been very lucky, and just so happened to fit the profile of the available donor (physically plus we are both CMV+ve and didn't mind a +ve donor), but the nurse said they ran a radio campaign for donors last year and although the official line is that the waiting list is 3-6 months, it could be much less.

So.... six weeks of crashing headaches to look forward to... all in a good cause!
Love and good luck to all

Emma


----------



## Milliepops

Hi I've just found this thread and read through. It's very comforting as I am currently doing DE Treatment with a clinic in Spain and have a naturally conceived 4 year old. It's been very stressful recently as I'm trying to go back for a frozen cycle but twice it's been cancelled due to my hormone levels and timings with the clinic closing. It's so tricky getting time off work and I've been thinking recently that I'm crazy going through all this when I have a son who is my world already. I'm often feeling selfish as I do have friends who don't have any children and that I should be grateful for what I've got and move on from this.  So this thread has made me feel better today.

  I also am obsessed with looking at children and seeing if they look like their parents.  We've decided to be very open and tell friends and family about our plans. We also plan to tell our child (if we have one) from the beginning. My feeling is that if we don't make it a big deal and have no secrets then both children are more likely to except it and not feel its an issue. But I realise it's different for everyone. This is just the only way I can deal with the whole thing.  Millie


----------



## Loopylou41

Hi Millie

Good luck with your DE IVF, I really hope it is successful.  It is stressful isn't it.  We have been on the waiting list for nearly 5 months in the UK now and every week I have a different view.  Today, I think are we really doing the right thing.  DH looked after our DD yesterday while I went out for a rare day out with friends and when I got back she hadn't been particularly well behaved in the morning and he was stressed, I suddenly thought should we really be having another child.  He is great with her usually but I think sometimes he doesn't know how to deal with her if she misbehaves as she is Daddy's little Princess.  I am quite strict with boundaries and rules whilst because his dad was over the top with discipline, he is a soft touch and she knows it so pushes the boundaries more.  It is a difficult one!  I have days where I think we are blessed to have her and I shouldn't be putting us through this stress and paying out all this money to have another child, but then other days I know I want to try my best to have another child so I have no regrets when I am older.  Plus I was an only child and always wanted a sibling.  I know our DD has asked many a time for a brother or sister. I have enough love to share between 2 children.

I'm glad somebody else is obsessed with looking at children and their parents....  makes me feel better... 

We weren't going to tell the child but there a few things that have happened recently have swayed us into thinking about telling the child.  It is a personal decision and one that I will probably struggle with should we be successful.  I guess we have time to think about it more fully so don't need to make any decisions yet.  

Fingers crossed for you.

Louise
x


----------



## Milliepops

Hi Louise
I know exactly what you mean.  My little boy has been throwing some huge tantrums recently about going to nursery and I've been in tears and left wondering if having another child is a big mistake!  And sometimes I'm cross with him too quickly because I've been so tired and stressed with this whole DE thing and it seems really unfair so again I wonder if it's the right thing to do.  I also decided to go ahead with it because I didn't want to regret it later on in life.  I was always very close to my brother growing up and I've always wanted the same for my son.  Although my DS never really asks about having a sibling although he did once say, "mummy we don't have a baby OR a cat".

Anyway I found out yesterday that my lining is suddenly okay so I can go for my transfer with the frozen embryos this Friday.  So fingers crossed.

Good luck with finding the donor. I hope one comes along soon.

Elaine x


----------



## drownedgirl

Good luck to you both


----------



## seahorse10

Hi, I posted here early on but got waylaid due to poorliness in pregnancy- but just wanted to say that our little boy has now been born following DE and we love him to bits, just as much as our naturally conceived daughter. I rarely think about the fact that he is donor conceived- despite being full of angst at times when pregnant- and he looks just like our daughter when she was a baby. Can't imagine life without him and am so so glad we made the decision to go ahead, hope this helps and good luck to everyone!


----------



## Loopylou41

Seahorse10 - thank you so much for posting.  I hope your son is doing well and you are enjoying being a mummy to a baby again.  My DP and I have been to see a Counsellor  since I posted this question and I now feel we have no issues with regard to the egg donation part of having another child.  Which is good news.  We got as far as a matched Donor before going through counselling and my thoughts were just gratitude that somebody was willing to give me their egg to allow me to try to have another child. Thanks and keep us posted on how you get on.  

Louise


----------

