# ANY SURROGACY ADVICE WELCOME



## lesley583 (Mar 23, 2012)

My husband and I are blissfully happy except we are desperate to have a child, I am unable due to an hysterectomy 13 years ago, I have 2 children from a previous marriage  sadly my son died from cancer aged 19, my husband has no children he is 30 and im 45. I never thought of surrogacy before then a friend of mine suggested she do it for us, we were over the moon and so excited and thankful to her for what she was going to do, then she decided she didnt want to do it after all we were left heartbroken and once again not knowing if we would ever have a child. I started looking online and did contact one lady who said she would gladly do it for us but she charged £18k    I looked on other sites and they wanted the same amount and sometimes more money....I thought it was illegal to charge in the U.K  except expencies .Could anyone advise me what I should do  we are so desperate to become a family and my husband would make a great father he is so caring
Any advice on this would be most welcome


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## DaughterofLilith (Apr 4, 2005)

Hi Lesley

I did not want to read and run... eighteen thousand? Tell her to take a long walk off a short pier! 

I'm not a legal authority, but I believe it_ is_ illegal for a UK surrogate to receive anything other than reasonable expenses - that's out-of-pocket expenses or lost wages prior to, during or immediately after the surrogate pregnancy. It's also illegal to advertise for or to be a surrogate in the UK.

You can join the Surrogacy UK boards as a non-member and their website is full of useful information, details here:

I'm going to go into little-miss-doom-and-gloom mode now - I've seen loads of happy families made through surrogacy, but just as many couples go away with empty arms. It's not because the surrogate keeps the baby (that rarely happens) it's because trying to conceive with a surrogate, whether via home insemination or IVF, has similar chances of success or failure to non-surrogate pregnancies.

If you're gonna give it a go, be prepared for a very long stress-fess... oh, and to meet some very interesting people along the way, have a lot of laughs at some very blue jokes, and maybe, just maybe have a lovely little baby at the end.

Bright Blessings


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## lesley583 (Mar 23, 2012)

thank you for your reply as we were thinking of paying it to her i suppose some people dwell on others misfortunes and thank you so much for the info and help


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## mayaraifa (Feb 24, 2012)

Hi Lesley583

How are you? Would you not think about international surrogacy? I and my husband (we live in Ireland) are heading to India to do it. There's a lot of valuable advice from others on this forum on the subject. Though I'm sure it would be nice to do it domestically too.

Best of luck with it all.

Mary


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## lesley583 (Mar 23, 2012)

no Mary i hadnt thought about that thanks and go xod luck with everything


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## Leawilliams (Jan 24, 2012)

International surrogacy might be a great option for you. My husband who is form the UK and myself are currently in the process at the moment. If you have any questions, please ask, this board is really amazing and supportive.

Lea


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## LouGhevaert (May 18, 2009)

Hi

I just wanted to add that surrogacy is a restricted but legal practice in the UK. The law states that a surrogate should only receive 'reasonable pregnancy related expenses' unless the English Family Court is retrospectively willing to authorise a commercial payment (which currently requires more complex legal proceedings given the public policy restriction against commercial surrogacy in the UK).  It is illegal to advertise for a surrogate mother or to advertise as a prospective surrogate but it is not illegal to become a surrogate in the UK.

Surrogacy law in the UK is designed to cater for altruistic arrangements (on a non profit basis).  If you are considering an international surrogacy arrangement (which are often commercial in nature), the legal issues become more far more complex and it's really worthwhile doing your homework before you start.

Best of luck

LouGhevaert


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