# 45 and still longing...



## surfer41 (Jun 30, 2008)

Hi, it is so lovely to read all your posts.  I have been feeling so "on my own" lately. Friends and relatives I talk to are starting to suggest I should start giving up and get on with my life. Until I started reading everything you'd all written I was starting to think I was really unusual for wanting a baby at 45.  I am definitely thinking of going down the DE route in Spain.  My partner is taking some convincing and has some very strong views on the subject.  Mind you he has not read anything about it and is not at all up to date on any of it, I am working on him but its difficult.  Has anyone else had reluctance from their partners/husbands?  He is 46, when we had his sperm tested it wasn't great.  I spoke to the consultant who said it wouldn't be a problem if we used ICSI, I really don't understand a lot of it as I'm quite new to the DE bit. I also don't understand half the abbreviations you all use! Reading everything you have written has give me hope yet again x so thanks x cross your fingers for me and my dream and good luck with all of yours x x x


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## encore (May 27, 2004)

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/component/option,com_glossary/Itemid,202/

this'll get you started. x


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## surfer41 (Jun 30, 2008)

thank you! very helpful x


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## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

I was reliably informed that it isnt the age of the uterus that prevents an older woman getting pregnant, its the age of the eggs. So in theory you can be 53 and get pregnant with Donor eggs that are much younger. So you have a very good chance of getting pregnant with donor eggs

good luck

Karen x


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## vicmac08 (Nov 24, 2008)

Hi
I am 46 (47 in March) and am 8 weeks pregnant after having egg donation at Institute Marques in Barcelona.  It was our second go at egg donation after four ivf failures.  This was always going to be our last time, even though we still have two frozen embryos in storage, and even when I went for this one I was worried about my age and whether I was just being completely foolish. We had also spent so much money and our entire relationship has been dominated by infertility.
I am still very nervous.  I know that the risk of miscarriage is still high but I have never felt so happy and positive.  It is probably of no help to you at all but the burning desire to try again just had not gone away and if you still have that then it is at least worth investigating.  Just don't delay too much because it festers.
Really good luck.


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## lana-morales (Jul 13, 2007)

I'm 56 and have triplet girls thanks to a clinic in Czech rep. - we were hoping for twins and got a bonus (donor eggs, husband's sperm). Good luck!


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## matti (Aug 10, 2007)

Lana
Congratulations, what a wonderul story. Your 3 girls look absolutely gorgeous. You will be continually busy, but what a great way to spend your time!
Matti x


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## Rhidic (Aug 10, 2008)

Lana, I'm so inspired to hear your story and see the picture of your girls!  They're beautiful.  I'm 48 now and going to Reprofit in January.  I know how much my DH and I want a child, there is simply no question about it.  But sometimes I feel the pressure of society weighing in--should I really be having a baby at my age?  I don't like the feeling, so mainly I ignore it, but so lovely and refreshing to see you and your dreams realized.  It gives me hope.  Thank you.


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## susiewoosie (Dec 9, 2006)

Happy New Year,
I just wanted to spread another bit of hope.

I'm 45 now and had a few failed IVFs and poor egg response. So I'm in mid-process for ED at San Diego (82% success rate) when I find myself pregnant, naturally. A huge surprise, I was just about to start taking the pill going on their prep program too. I'm only on my 8th week so very early. But I'm feeling  well and in excellent health.

Plus I'm going to re-start my SDFC program later as I want more than one child! We've been saving for years to get this treatment too.

Be positive in the face of so much negative press, be happy and do something about it.
It can happen, to you.
xx


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## Rowan22 (Dec 29, 2008)

Is it OK to join this thread? I have only just joined this forum after reading it for months! It's been incredibly helpful.
I feel exactly the same as the OP and your responses have given me hope. I'm 46 and have another birthday coming up to look forward to - not! I keep getting the same negativity with people telling me I'm too old, I'm living in a fantasy world, etc. The reason we haven't had a child before is because I spent most of my thirties battling ill health and I've been left with diabetes. 
Just reading all this makes me wonder if the people trying to discourage me aren't right - it doesn't look very promising, does it? Old and sick! But the longing won't go away and it's got to the stage where I rarely go out anymore, if I think there's going to be any young families. I end up feeling terrible!
The good news is that I do ovulate and my cycle is so regular you could set a clock by it. My DH is OK, too. I think I had a chemical pg a couple of months ago, so I'm just hoping there'll be one good egg coming soon!
Susie and Lana, your stories give me hope. Thank you!

Rowan x


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## Oranges (May 12, 2008)

Hope you don't mind me popping in.
Lana, your triplet baby girls are just sooooooo gorgeous.  What a wonderful post for all of us to read.
I'm well over 40 (48 to be exact!)  We had our first attempt at DE this year and i'm 13 weeks pg just now.  I can hardly believe it.  It certainly hasn't been an easy journey to get here, and it's just one day at a time, but i'm so glad we're here. 
As for those longings - I thought my feelings would change as I got further into my forties, in reality they just got worse.
Good luck to everyone who is already pg and to those about to start the journey.  Wishing you all the very best for 2009.
Oranges xxx


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## Rhidic (Aug 10, 2008)

Oranges, so exciting to hear of your pregnancy and your age!  I'm 48 too and going for my first DE IVF in a few weeks.  I live in an urban center and 40's+ women with babies seem to abound, but I just came from a visit with relatives in small town USA and the idea of becoming a mom at my age didn't seem too welcome.  I get so much support and encouragement just being on this board and knowing there are other women my age who haven't given up.  Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.  

Rhonda


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## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

Its lovely to read so many of your ladies are pregnant  

Wishing all the ladies who are about to start tx or thinking of it......GOOD LUCK !!!!

love Jo
x x x


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## Crazy Fi (Mar 19, 2007)

Hi , first of all can I congratulate you ladies that have found your dreams, and wish all the luck in the world to you who are still reaching out  for yours ... Could anyone guide me or give me info on an approximation of the pricing of ED , in Spain or where ever they offer it? Would appreciate any advice or guidance by pm or on here..... 

thanks Fi xx


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## Kilmoregirl (Mar 13, 2008)

I am 45 years old and have had two failed IVF. I have no more money for treatment but I am not giving up. The reason for this is that my sister tried for years to have children but had lots of problems like cysts etc. The day she was going to start IVF treatment at 44 she found out she was pregnant. She had a lovely baby boy (he is now 11).  When she was 48 she thought she was going through the menopause but found out that she was pregnant again! Another boy (he is now 7). So my advice is never give up. She didn't and I'm certainly not. Not yet anyway.  xxxx


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## Guest (Jan 17, 2009)

Kilmoregirl said:


> I am 45 years old and have had two failed IVF. I have no more money for treatment but I am not giving up. The reason for this is that my sister tried for years to have children but had lots of problems like cysts etc. The day she was going to start IVF treatment at 44 she found out she was pregnant. She had a lovely baby boy (he is now 11). When she was 48 she thought she was going through the menopause but found out that she was pregnant again! Another boy (he is now 7). So my advice is never give up. She didn't and I'm certainly not. Not yet anyway. xxxx


that really is an inspiring story!


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## valswife (Jan 3, 2009)

hope its ok to post here im new to ff just wanted to say the stories on this thread have realy given me hope im 44 n about to start third ivf cycle i am definatly feeling more confident now thank you ladys n best of luck to all of u still trying and congrats to all of u that have made your dreams come true x valswife x


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## surfer41 (Jun 30, 2008)

Good luck to all of you out there x I can't believe how long I have been wanting a child with my DP, it feels a little bit mad.  Sometimes I will start to lose hope and then I'll read something profound and think I am going to do everything I can to make this happen!  Finding this website has been amazing and really keeps me going.  It always makes me think if other people can do it so can I!  I am going to start acting on all my dreams x lots of love and luck for all of yours x x


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## dochinka99 (Aug 10, 2006)

All of you give me hope. Now I need to make the appointment. I keep looking at this site and at adoption sites.  Truthfully,  I'm afraid of adoption.  I don't want a child whose damaged by alcohol.  I think I must pursue this otherwise I'm dreaming without taking action.

How do you think about getting older and still taking care of the child?  If I was successful,  I'd be 47.  In twenty years,  I'll be 67, retired from my job and having to finance college.  That's my worry.

I have one DD (donor sperm) whose almost 10.  But I'd love another twins.

Does anyone know if the various clinics abroad limit the number of embryos to transfer back?

Thanks,

Cathy


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## Jenny19 (Jul 2, 2008)

Kilmoregirl - that's an amazing story.  I'm 44 and would desperately love one more child.  My DS will be six in 3 weeks time and we've been trying for about 4 years.  I got pregnant naturally within about 6 months of trying and then I m/c at 10 1/2 weeks.  Since then nothing.  I'm thinking about DE too but I've had a lot of negative feed back from friends and family.  I'm not so concerned about the finances nor being too old to care for a child but the affect on the DE child that I'm not their biological mother and I think that's what they think too.


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