# New to the site - Seacroft, Leeds IVF + rant



## MrsOliver (Jan 24, 2012)

Hi
I'm not sure how to start so I'm just going to ramble on........Basically I'm feeling very lonely, I've been actively trying since January 2008 for a child, my husband is fit and healthy and a very loving family man, he's 33 and I'm 29. I've always know I may not get pregnant because i have never had a natural period but I was naive to think this wouldn't affect me at some point in my life and it's certainly been eating away at me for the past couple of years.
I've since learnt there are several other factors stopping me getting pregnant and IVF is the only option for me so i feel hopeful my life of being in limbo will soon be over. We cant move out of our apartment because we don't know whether to buy a 2,3 or 4 bed (obviously dependant on how IVF works), I cant change my job in case i get pregnant and we cant book a holiday because i have to be near hospitals each month.  
I don't mean to sound negative or sorry for myself, I've had a tough couple of years like every person on here no doubt. In addition I have a heart condition and my third op in as many years is in a couple of weeks, so our IVF was delayed til March / April, so I'm now concerned my taking aspirin for my heart will affect the lining of my womb during IVF....so if anyone has any comments on that or advise on first IVF tips i would appreciate it greatly 

The reason for my fustrations and tension is more aimed towards other people and their bloody opinions......I'm feeling very angry, lonely and fed up at the moment of people saying to me 'it happens for a reason' or 'just be positive' dam why didn't I think of that, not everyone knows about my struggles but listening to people in general on why woman are infertile make me so mad. Does anyone else find that most women who have perfect working wombs are the most narrow minded, patronizing people in the whole of the world   ha-ha i just read my over dramatic comment but I stand by it with a smile. If anyone at all relates to me i would really appreciate a reply, rant anything, I'm starting to feel like I'm infertile because i was cursed by everyman and his dog from every realm for something I may have done / not done in a previous life   
xxx  xxx


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## Lexi2011 (Apr 25, 2011)

Hi MrsO,

Sorry to hear you've been feeling like this, it is so hard to deal with and there will always be smug fertile friends out there that drive us mad!!!

Anyway its just a quick hi from me as should be working! I am also at Leeds so here's a link to a whole load of us who all chat and occasionally meet up who all are having or had treatment at seacroft at some stage.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=280152.72

PS I can totally relate to living in limbo, we bit the bullet and moved into a house last year so just waiting to make it a bit fuller with our family ;-) x


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

Hello and welcome to the madness that is Fertility Friends.    think we've all had mini melt downs at one point or another. But you've come to the right place to talk to like minded peeps and gain some vauled support and information   

*Fertility Investigations ~ *CLICK HERE

*IVF Boards ~ *CLICK HERE

*Diagnosis ~ *CLICK HERE

Have a look round the site and if you get a little stuck with the navigation side of things - please shout!

We also have a chat room - which is a fabulous place to 'meet' and chat with others. Our newbie chat is every Wednesday. A great chance to meet other new members and find out a little more about how the site works.

*Newbie chat ~ *CLICK HERE

All the best - our paths may cross again in other areas of the site.
Good luck,

  

Mini xx


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## Vertigo (Jan 7, 2011)

Hi MrsO,

Welcome from me too! I can so well relate to your frustrations about other people and their opinions/clever ideas... But this is a great place to have a little rant in a good company!  

I too am struggling with having my life on permanent hold (well, it does feel permanent) - we didn't have any holidays away last year, Im fed up with my dead-end job but don't want to change now cos I want maternity benefits, and although we did take the plunge and bought a house two years ago, it now feels sadly empty... It feels so unfair that we can't plan anything, and I feel so sorry especially for my DH who is in this situation without a fault of his own - he's healthy and his little swimmers are all fine.

Anyway, what I wanted to say to you is good luck for your heart op. It might seem obvious but I'll put it in writing anyway: get yourself as healthy as you can before you embark on the IVF journey - you will need all your strength. (And you will need even more strength once you are a mother!) IVF usually sadly takes longer than any of us anticipate at the start of it, so I'd suggest you use the time after recuperation from the op to get your body as baby-friendly as can be. Eat healthily. Have some exercise. Maybe see a nutritionist. Try to find something interesting to do that takes your mind off the IVF/baby thoughts. Try to have joy and relaxation in your life. I don't want to say this in a patronising way, but also perhaps finding some slightly older friends might help... I mean, many women in their late 20s/early 30s haven't really experienced childlessness or fertility problems (yet), so they may often be the most unsympathetic ones... I have certainly found women of my own age much more sensitive - and surprisingly many have opened up about their own similar problems once they've heard about mine. (I got tired of limp excuses a while ago when commented about "so you've decided not to have kids then" and decided to shock a few nosy parkers by telling them the gory truth, just to see their faces.   Felt easier to tell other friends after that.)

Infertility definitely does not happen for a reason, and it is bloody unfair, but you CAN beat it and there ARE friends who are sympathetic.  Don't lose hope.  

Lots of luck & babydust too!!!

Vxx


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## MrsOliver (Jan 24, 2012)

Thank you so much ladies, i cant tell you how you've helped me today just by replying and passing on some very useful links, I feel like im not alone, that sounds crazy because obviously im not the only one but in my circle of friends, collegues I have been very much alone.......i could cry im so glad I found this site    

I hope to speak to you again soon  , thank you, thank you, thank you


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## Vertigo (Jan 7, 2011)

You're welcome, any time!


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