# Looking to Start or Going Through Adoption Part 5 2006



## KarenM

New home, hope it fills with wonderful news as our threads seem to have done this year.

* Post matching *

*Karen *: Approved at panel on 22nd April 2004. First little girl moved in on 8/11/04, second little girl moved in on 9/12/04. Legally adopted 21/10/05

*Ann*: Approved at panel on 4th November 2004. Matched to two girls, who moved in in January 2005. Legally adopted 31st August 2005

*Cindy*: Approved at panel on 27th October 2004. Matched to a little boy who moved in Feb 2005. Legally adopted 21st July 2005. Applied to adopt number 2.

*Everhopeful*: Approved at panel in 17th Feb 2005, little girl moved in on 23/05/05. Legally adopted 19th December 2005

*Pooh bears Mummy* : Approved at panel on 3/3/2005, little boy moved in on 10/06/05. Court date to legally adopt Jan 2006.

* Superal* Adopted a 3 yr old boy in Jan 97 & a 9 month old baby girl in June 2001

* MummietoLottieandLilly* (Lilliana) Adopted 2 girls aged 12 months and 2 years 4 months in May 2005.

*Ang* (Molly 2003): Approved at panel August 2005. Matched to a 9 month old girl. Moved in on 11/5/06

*Kylie* (Boomerang Girl): Approved at panel on 24/11/05. Matched to little girl "Strawberry". Panel 2/5/06, comes home on 20/5/06

*Ruth*: Approved at panel on 2/6/2005. Matched to little boy "Boo". Panel 11/05/06. Moved in on 14/6/06

*Nats* Approved at panel in March 2005, Matched to 11 month old boy. Panel 15/05/06. Moved in on 15/6/06

*Pam (saphy75) * Approved at panel 10/01/06, Matched to two month old baby boy. Matching panel 22/05/06. Moved in on 31/05/06

* Lauren * Approved at panle on 19/6/06, Matched to a 13Month old girl , Moved in 6/9/06



* Post Panel/Awaiting Match *

* LB *: Approved at panel on 15/6/05, now awaiting suitable match.

* rianna * Approved at panel November 2005, now awaiting suitable match

*Tracey H*: Approved at panel 23/11/05, now awaiting suitable match

* jilldill* Approved at panel April 2006, now awaiting suitable match

* Magenta * Approved at panel April 2006, now awaiting suitable match

* Emcon * Approved at panel March 2006, now awaiting suitable match

* (Gill) gillywilly * Approved at panel April 2006, now awaiting suitable match

* Barbarella * Approved at Panel 27/4/06, now awaiting suitable match

* JenniferF* Approved at Panel 11/05/06, now awaiting suitable match


 * Waiting for Panel Date/Panel Result *

* Momo * Waiting for panel date

* Kizzie * Completed Form F. Panel June 2006

* Morgana * Panel August 2006

* Alex28 * Panel 27th June 2006.

* Laine * Panel 3/7/06

* keli haslem * Panel 14/9/06 


* Home Study/Prep Course *

* Milk tray * Just swapped LA. Prep course April 2006

* keemjay * Currently on home study

* Lisaw36 * Prep course 25/1/06

* Sanita * Prep course May 2006

* Ange K * Prep course and home study started May 2006

* melaniejhodson * Prep course June 2006

*EML * Prep course June 2006 


* Initial Stages *

* Jo * Open evening attended LA appointment 13/07/06

* Jan Welshy * SW visit 01/06/06

* Lettuce * Open evening attended waitng for SW visit

* Fiona 1 * Waiting for intro evening - concurrent planning

*Viva* Waiting for SW visit/interview

* Katykitten * Considering Adoption

* Kimmy * Open Evening 9/5/06

* spauly* Considering Adoption

* ritzisowner * Currently completing application forms 

Please let me know if I have got anything wrong.
Karen x


----------



## alex28

great list Karen - my panel date is 27th June - my ticker for some reason puts it a day later even the date is correct when i created the ticker Doh!!!
i reckon its gonna be a fab year - we have had such good news this year so far with all the new placements - long may it continue. xx


----------



## rianna

Hi Karen,

Thanks for doing the list, however I seem to have fallen off. It is understandable as you seem so busy with work, your girls and everything else.  I don't know how you do it!  I am Rianna - was approved at panel November 2005, now awaiting suitable match.  The wait is harder than I originally thought, but I am hanging in there!

Hi to everyone else.  Wishing you all lots of love and luck.  Hope the next few months brings good news for everybody.

Love Rianna


----------



## Viva

Hello everyone,
Been a while since I posted on here, although I have been reading and trying to keep up with everyon'e news...this board moves so fast!
Thanks Karen for updating the list, I hope you have good time off, it surely is well deserved!

Jennifer, glad your enjoying your new fluffly friend...we have two cats, both of whom are really quite spoilt and demanding of attention...too many cuddles when they were young I think but how can you avoid that?  

Superal, so sorry to hear of you loss, they do leave such a gap in the family, hope you and your family start to feel better soon.

Lauren, Fantastic news that you've been approved at panel, congratulations...sounds hopeful too that a match might not be months away! Robbie...I bet he was great...your bit about acting like an obsessed groupie made me smile... I saw U2 play last year and remember at one point hearing an annoying women screaming then realisising it was me! 

Keli, So glad your DH is OK...although he could probably do without being trapped in a brace for 3 mths! Great that you've got your panel date and I'm sure the time between now and September will fly especially now that Summer is here!

Hi Lettace, glad to hear that things are moving for you...we are at about the same stage...we started looking into adoption a few months ago but it's taken us a while to get to the point of having initial meetings, partly because our local authority is reluctant to take us on for assessement as my DH works in one of the local schools! So now we have about 3-4 to choose between, well the may not all be interested in us!

Ruthie...sounds like you're having a wonderful time if wet(!) with Boo...so lovely to hear how happy you are! Hope Boo's eczema is clearing up.

Alex, just wanted to wish you all the best for your panel...I've always wanted the experience of being pregnant and giving birth and I love new born babies...so I guess it's only natural that we should all feel sad sometimes about missing out on all of that...and so are pre panel nerves I expect!

Nichola, I'm sure that you'll make the right decision in relation to your embies...it's important that both of you feel happy with the decision that you're making!

Kimmy, I hope that things are movng on with your house sale...there's a good reason why they moving home is one of the most stressful things you can do! Have you been looking for pplaces to move to yet or are you being good and waiting until you have your home sold first?

Milktray...I hope your HS is going well and all goes well with your op, hopefully you'll get some good weather to recuperate in the garden.

Everhopeful, hope you've had no more attacks on insomnia...I'm prone to them occassionally and it does my head in! Also did you get you pasta dish sorted?

Laine...hows the family album coming along...I can't wait until we get to the stage of starting ours... think I'm hoping to discover previously unknown art skills!

Jo, hope you're having a great time with your BIL, and enjoying the good weather we've had!

Boomer...sorry to hear that the LA visit left strawberry unsettled...great that she is normally settled with you though! IS she still following you around?

Keemjay...little bit jealous of you going to the IOW festival glad you had a good time and probably a great distraction for a ew days from HS etc....hope your last visit has gone well.

Barbarella, hope that work is going better for you and that you feel happy with the decision that you made, sounds liek it was the right one for you...hopefully won't be too long before you hear about another match!

Ange K, hope your prep course and HS are going well...

Cindy P, I hope your visit has been rescheduled...lack of communication is always so frustrating!

Encom, any further news? I've really got to try and learn some patience before I get to this waiting stage! I think is might drive me mad so I think you're doing fabulously!

Saphy, hope Chunk is contining to sleep better...he's going to grow up to be such a cool little dude being lulled to sleep by Pink Floyd!

Magenta, any more news about your possible match?

Sanita and Fiona hope you've both had fabulous and very relaxing holidays!

Nats, hope all's going well with Snugs...I'm sure that you have your hands full but in a totoally good way! 

Jilldill, I hope you are well...

I'm sure I've still missed people out it's such a busy board! So hello to everyone else!

We've finally got a couple of provisional interviews lined up with two different LA's and an information morning with another LA over the next 2 weeks, hopefully will then be in a better position to know who will tak us on and who we would like to go with. Just wondering if any one has any advice about questions we should ask LA's that may help us uncover and avoid unneccesary potential problems/delays during the process, I'm aware from reading post's here that some of your experiences have been more positive than others!

Off now to meet a friend for coffee.
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## Nats

Hi everyone!

I am still here and alive!

Ok, we had a rough couple of days to start, not with snugs, but more with me....odd to describe really...but
I acn happily say that snugs has now been here a week and he has certainly made himself at home!. His sw came yesterday and was really pleased with how he was.
Hed has slept through every night and infact he done 6.30pm-8am....so thats great....and he hasnt got a single problem with his eating either!  

Snugs has suffered from Eczma too (sorry spelling is useless!)....and they always used aqueous cream on him and also Oilatum in his bath...and it works well. He had a little bit come up a few days ago and he also started to dribble a bit..and when he was smiling at me yesterday morning.....I saw a new tooth!!...so he now has 5. He hasnt grumbled at all and everyone just says that he is so happy all the time....we are just so lucky to have him.

he is fast alseep at the moment and must go anf wake him so we can go and get food. dh goes back to work on Monday, but I have my mum and friends on emergency calls if I get stressed!....have already enjoyed taking him to a mother and toddler group which he loved.

sorry I havent had time to catch up with everyone, I have read, but just havent got time for personals...so please accept my apologies, my thoughts are with you all, no matter what stage you are at...

Just wanted to say to Ruthie- Im so chuffed everything is going well for you and Boo too!

Natsxxx


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Karen - thanks for updating the list  

Alex - not long until panel for you, I can't belive I go a week later eek!

Rianna - hope you are matched soon...hang on in there.

Viva - lovely long post.  Hope the meetings go well and you can decide who to go with.

Nats - great to hear from you.  Glad Snugs is settling in well.

Hi to everyone else.  

No news from me, just waiting for panel  

Laine


----------



## Barbarella

Hi Everyone

Apologies to everyone AGAIN for not being able to do personals... but it's my birthday today and just out celebrating!!  

Just hoping that this is my last childless birthday... at 38, I think it's about time don't you...!!

Thanks Karen for another great thread, and I WILL catch up with you all soon.  Been a bit down the last few weeks, last matching knocked us for 6 really and work been manic until this week.  

Viva... thanks for the mention.

Andrea... hope you are ok!

Best of luck and love to all....

C xx


----------



## sanita

Hi everyone.  Got back from my hols yesterday and am just catching up with everything.

Karen - Thanks for kicking off this new thread.  You are a living example of proof of the saying "If you want a job doing, give it to a busy woman".

Nats - What a lovely post.  You sound so happy.

Laine - Not long till panel now.  Have you got the champagne on ice?

Viva - I just went with my gut feeling when it came to choosing who to go with.  Our VA seemed so positive and supportive, they were the obvious choice.  Good luck with making your decision.

Not much progress to report for us.  HS has come to a grinding halt as our SW is on hols for a month.  I have to admit I have quite enjoyed the break myself.  It's been so full on for the last few weeks, with prep days, HS and tons of homework, it's quite nice to have a couple of weeks off.  

Sanita xx


----------



## ritzi

hi everyone,

well we have news but not sure whether it is good or bad really.
my recurrent miscarriages tests came back normal yesterday so we've just had bad luck loosing 3 pregnancies; we still await the baby's results from the NHS (it's now been 5 weeks!) so can't rule out chromosome issues just yet. 
in addition my clinic has advised that we should do a final FET so it is not hanging over our head for the next 4 years (Because we are practising Christians we can never throw them away so have to use them at some point).
we are still unsure of this so spoke with our GP who said she thought the adoption health form would not be kind to us and advised us also to do the final FET before we fill them out.
our NHS consultant feels that once the baby's results are back we should crack on with the FET as we tried so hard to make the embryos in the first place. 

so the 3 medical folks all agree we should do a final FET and then look at adoption after that. 
i'm still not sure how i feel, but for now DH and i have agreed not to post the adoption forms - we will make the final decision after the baby's results and if we are going to we will cycle in July. 

thank you for all your support - you've all been great and your positivity is so infectious. i'll check in from time to time and dare say i'll be back on the boards before i know it!

nichola.x


----------



## jilldill

Hi Everyone,
I have been away for the last week we had a sudden bereavement in the family so it's been a sad time.

I am trying to catch up with everyones news there are so many of us now. I have no news re adoption whatsoever, I feel like you pass panel then everything stops. I feel like I have no say in what happens in my life it's the lack of any control that I find so hard. 

Karen, another great list well done again, where would we be without you!! How are the girls?
Nats, just enjoy every second as you are
Laine and Alex thinking of you both as panel is getting nearer
Viva, good luck with your decision
Sanita, enjoy your time away from the studies a break is a relief at times
C, Happy Birthday for yesterday, I hope you had a good one
Ruthie, it all sounds wonderful with Boo
Rianna, the wait is hard but your in good company take care
Jennifer, how are the fluffy little ones?
Supereal, so sorry to hear the news take care
Lauren, a belated congratulations, well done you
Magenta, are you ok I will send a pm soon
Keli, I hope DH is on the mend
Emcon, hope you are ok
Milk Tray, good luck for the op
Lattace, welcome to the boards
Kimmy, good luck with the house sale
Everhopeful, hoe did the pasta turn out?
Boomer, how is Strawberry doing?
Jo, hope the visit goes well
Cindy P, I hope things are starting to move for you
Tracey H, I have pm'd you
Ange K, I hope the HS is going well
Ann, how are your girls?
Gilly Willy, are you ok I haven't seen you for a while?
Hi Nichola

A big hello to those I have missed take care love JD xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Nichola - quite understand where you are coming from and good luck  

jilldill - very sorry to hear about your sudden bereavement.  Hugs to you.  We've only had one email from our sw (it seems she will email monthly so we know we aren't forgotten) since we were passed at panel, plus the official approval letter and our annual subscription to Adoption UK.  That's why I got the kitten - take my mind off it and so far it has worked.

I've got a shocking story to share with you all.  I collected my son from school yesterday and was chatting outside the school to my friend who had collected her son as well.  His school is on a busy road.  On the other side of the busy road was a little boy crying his heart out, all by himself, aged between 2.5-3 years old.  I went over to him and asked where his mummy was but all he did was cry harder and try and flatten himself against a wall.  He just sobbed and sobbed so I took his hand and then wondered what to do with him and was going to go to a police station with him.  My friend was crossing the road with her son and daughter in buggy so it took her longer to cross (my son had got in my car by this point).  As my friend walked past a house further down the road she spotted a woman standing by a gate inside her garden (not looking up the road in the direction of me and sobbing child).  My friend briefly chatted to this woman and then beckoned to me.  So I went to meet up with her, still holding on to this little boy's wrist.  Turned out the woman was the little boy's mum.  His mum said "oh he is always doing this, going off in a paddy, I just let him get on with it.  His nan gave him smarties and I can't do a thing with him now."  I pointed out that he had been walking all by himself beside a busy road and she said "he's ok, he usually stays over by the wall.  He always comes back when he is ready".  WELL.  My friend and I were totally gobsmacked.  Apart from the busy road issue, hasn't she heard about peodaphiles!!!!!  It made my blood boil.  Some people just don't deserve their children.  My friend and I walked away and left her son with her but it has preyed on my mind and now I don't know whether to report her to someone and if I do, who do I report her to?  Any thoughts?  What would you all do?  Or am I being over the top?  The child was well dressed and chubby and not bruised or anything that I could see.  The woman didn't seem "mentally challenged" and was not scruffy and the house looked in good order etc.

Bye for now


----------



## magenta

hello everyone,

as usual i am rushing around trying to get everything done in 24hours - goodness only knows what i'll be like with a littlie around too!  Anyway...no news on adoption front so no worries about fitting a child into our lives right now.  JD - I totally understand your feelings - it feels like you aren't adopting anymore - just that you went through 6months or a year of meetings and medicals and then nothing to show.  I know we have seen a few profiles which is, i suppose, better than nothing but it does raise expectations which are then quickly dashed.  We never heard back from CWW child's sw so i have to assume we weren't shortlisted and we will need to arrange for our copy of his papers to be destroyed at our agency. Oh well..another CWW will be out soon so we can only pray that OUR child will be in this next issue.

magenta


----------



## jilldill

Hi Jennifer,
I would report this incident, probably to Social Services. I had a similar incident a few years ago I was walking home and saw in the distance a tiny figure approaching the main road into the city I dropped my bags and ran and picked the child (18 months!) up as it had taken it's 2nd step onto the road. A lorry was hooting at me and shouting obviously thinking I was the mother. I carried the child round the corner to the where I guessed it was from the home of a prostitute. She took the child from me ignored my shouting at her and started telling off her 6 year old who was supposed to be looking after the baby! I was really distressed by the whole thing and rang Social Services. I think things like this are so hieghtened to those of us who would give everything to have what these undeserving people have. So I for one do not think you are over reacting at all, and you did all the right things.
Thanks to you and magenta for the mentions
Love JD x


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

C - Belated 'Happy Birthday' wishes to you  

Sanita - enjoy your HS break!  No champagne on ice for me but a nice thought.

Nichola - good luck with the FET.

Jill - sorry to hear of your bereavement.  Can understand how you are feeling (((((hugs)))).  Hope you are matched soon.  How often are you in touch with your sw?

Magenta - hope you hear some good news soon too.

Jennifer - your story certainly is shocking.  Some people just don't seem to care.

Alex - feeling nervous yet?  

Hi to everyone else.  

We received our confirmation letter today for the panel   

Laine


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Laine,

Good Luck with your panel hun, you will then join the expectant adoptive mummys club. I just hope your subsequent wait is shorter than 9 months. 

PBMxxx


----------



## jan welshy

Liaine, We know you will be passed with flying colours!!¬!!!! Start preparing for an instantly increasing family!!!!!!
Love
WelshyXXXXX[br]Posted on: 25/06/06, 10:40As for us. We are now waiting for our phone call back as SW wants to come and pick up the forms, something to do with signing CRB in front of her. We both had CRB checks done for our new jobs in sept but adoption won't acdcept if more than 3 months old (makes you wonder what is the point in them). Anoy way. Hope she getts back soon as we are gona greece in 3 weeks.
Love
WelshyXXXX


----------



## Viva

Hi Everyone, 
Just got back from a wonderfully relaxing weekend at in Devon with my family for my Grandad's 90th birthday! My sister is looking properly pregnant now, but thankfully I felt more excited than sad this time! Think it really help's knowing we are going somewhere with our adoption journey!

Nats, glad to hear that Snugs is settling in well. 

Barbarella Happy Birthday I hope you had a good day!

Sanita, good to hear that you've had a good rest.

Nichola, it sounds as if your making a good decision for you and it's great that all your Dr's are in agreement , as a christian myself I know where you're coming from wanting to use all of your embies at some point!

Jilldill, so sorry to hear of your loss,  I hope you are ok and giving yourself some time to take things easy.

Jennifer, hard though it is I would report it, even if you look at it from the most positive angle possible maybe the mum isn't coping and needs some support, the worse case scenario doesn't even bare thinking about.

Hi Magenta, here's to the next CWW being the one with your child...do you get Be my parent as well?

Hi PBM, hope you and your family are well.

Jan, good to hear that things are moving on for you.

Hope you all have a good week.
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## jilldill

Hi Everyone,
Thanks for the mentions Viva and Laine, it's much appreciated. I contacted my SW about 6 weeks ago to say I was going away for a week which she replied to but nothing since. Not long till panel for you, I hope you are feeling ok about it all.
love JD x


----------



## Lauren

Hi everyone

Karen - great new list - can't believe how many people are on here now.  It is more than a little bit exciting to see my name has moved up a section too!

Jilldill - so sorry to hear about your bereavement.  Hope you are doing ok.  Really hope you hear some good news from your sw soon.  I totally understand what you mean about the loss of control.  I've had real trouble accepting that issue throughout all my tx, felt a little bit easier about being in control through hs, but now the waiting starts and I think it won't be long before I start to feel totally out of control again!

Jennifer - god what an awful situation with the little boy.  I don't think you are overreacting at all and I think in your situation I would probably take it further and report the incident.  Its probably more a question of who you would report it to and who is more likely to follow up with investigations - police or social services?  It does make you angry though doesn't it when people like that are just "allowed" to have children.

Viva - glad you had a lovely time in Devon for your Grandad's birthday and that you are able to feel so much more positive about your sister's pregnancy.  My sister has just announced her 2nd pregnancy and I have dealt with it so much better this time round knowing how far we have come with our adoption.

Magenta - Heres to hoping your little one is in the next issue of CWW.  You know he/she is out there somewhere, its just the not knowing when they are going to come into your lives which is the hard part.

Laine - not long to go now to panel!  Glad you have got your confirmation letter through - it somehow makes it feel even more real doesn't it?

Welshy - good news that things are moving forwards for you with your CRB checks.  You lucky thing off to Greece!  I'm very jealous specially as its raining today!  

Nichola - good luck with your FET.  Would be nice to see you back on this board but lets hope you don't have to come back!

Barbarella - hope you had a fab birthday and made the most of your last childless one!

Sanita - make the most of your HS break!

Hi to everyone I have missed - I know there are loads of you!  Thinking of you all.

My totally stupid but very exciting bit of news is that on Saturday, for the first time ever, I went into John Lewis Baby Department!  I have always found it far too upsetting to go in anywhere like that over the last few years so it was a huge breakthrough for me!  I even had a little try out of one of the buggies and got totally overexcited pushing it up and down the aisles!!!  It was also quite amusing when I was telling the shop assistant I wouldn't need the carry cot part of the buggy cos I wouldn't be having a new born and I could see her little brain ticking as she tried to work out the situation!  But start as I mean to go on is what I say and I'm certainly not going to spend the rest of my life explaining to everyone that my child is adopted!  Didn't quite have the guts to buy anything - too scared of tempting fate just yet!

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


----------



## Bella_Bella

HI ladies

can I join you please?  I don't know much about adoption and want to get as much info as possible.


At the start of my IVF treatment I decided that I would only do two cylces.  
I am at the point now (I have just had my first mc on my second ICSI attempt) and am now considering adoption, as I found the IVF route just so traumatic.

I have a few quick questions....

Can I ask if any of you have any good 'adoption bibles' or websites that you refer to?
& is there any absolute essentials i should know about social services etc?
whats the average time for the adoption process?
& how long after IVF do you have to wait until social services will consider you?

Bella.


----------



## sanita

Hi Bella

I going through the adoption process at the moment after having an early miscarriage following IVF at the end of last year so I understand how you might be feeling at the moment.  In answer to your questions, I would recommend the adoption uk and BAAF websites as excellent places to research adoption.  Many local authorities like it to be 6 months between your last treatment and starting the adoption process, this dosen't mean that you can't ring up for some info in the meantime though and not everyone has the 6 month rule.  I started my application only 4 months after.  The actual process is supposed to take between 6 - 9 months to be approved, but some people have delays.  Once approved its a case of how long is a piece of string until you find your child/ren.  I am going with a voluntary agency so I don't have dealings with social services.  There are pros and cons between using VAs or LAs.  If you want a baby or toddler then you will need to go with an LA.  I think you can apply to any LA within a 50 mile radius of where you live.  Some people seem to contact 2 or 3 local LAs and have meetings with them or go to information evenings before making their decision on who they want to apply with.  Watch out for Social Workers painting a very negative picture of adoption and the process.  Adoption is certainly not an easy option, but they do sometimes seem to concentrate exclusively on the negatives, I think they do this to weed out early on those people who are not committed and likely to drop out of the process.

I wish you the very best of luck.  Personally I am finding the adoption process a far more positive process than IVF and am very glad I decided not to persue further fertility treatment.  The other ladies here are extremely supportive and I'm sure you'll get further comments from some of the others who are more experienced at all this than I am.


----------



## Viva

Hi Bella, 
Welcome...I'm sure you'll find everyone really friendly here. 

I'm really quite new myself here but I can give you the benfit eof my expereince so far. We have contacted a number of local authorities and volutary agencies and can honestly say that they are variable, both in the quality and slant of information sent out (some of the information from some LA's is really negative) and also what they expect in terms of when you finnish treatment. Quite a few of the LA's in our area have said that 'you need to have completed treatment to your satisfaction'.

I will echo Sanita and say that both the adoption UK and BAAF websites are good and we have also bought Adopting a child: A guide for people interested in adoption by Prue Chennells which was a good basic guide and Aproachign fatherhood:A guide for adoptive dads and others, by Paul May, which DH really enjoyed and answered quite a few questions he had.

All the best
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## Boomerang girl

hiya- welcome bella!
lauren- well done john lewis baby section is fab- lots of cool stuff- they also sell the whoozit baby photo book we used as one of strawb's intro books.

jennifer- definitely report it. often it isn't just one big thing that makes ss take the action they need to (be it providing support or further action) but a collection of little things. as teachers we had to keep a log of ANY concerns as often one on its own does not appear much but a whole pattern does. things like that could have helped many children including poor little victoria clumbie (not sure i spelt that right). you would not be acting out of turn reporting it just ensuring the care and safety of the little boy is addressed. x

strawb is doing fine- sleeping through most nights except last night which was awful as her back teeth are coming through. totally totally in love with her. we have the six week foster carers visit this weekend. i know its the right thing for her but i am dreading it as i know she will be unsettled afterwards.

hope everyone else is doing well- sorry about my lack of personals again-  I barely get time to stop these days thanks to my lovely little one.

boomer
x


----------



## keemjay

hiya 

welcome Bella  i think the others have answered your questions every well. one thing i'd add is that i tried our neighbouring counties who are within a 50 mile radius of us and none of them were interested in taking us on..they said they dont take on people from out of the area unless they have something very special to offer, like they only want teenagers or something. our LA wanted us to take 6 months to a year after our last fertility txt..we initiated things just after 6 months were up and were doing the prep course at 10 months post txt....

jeenifer - what a horrible story, makes your heart bleed. what did you do in the end?

alex - hope panel all went to plan  have you got your new tv yet?

bommer..lovely to hear how strawb is doing..poor teeth  hope she isnt too unsettle after the foster carer visit...

Lauren..bless you going into John Lewis and  at confusing the shop assistant. I am getting braver at looking at kiddie things but not ready to look at buggies yet. i go in to childrens Next on the pretext of looking for my 18 month old godson but really I'm just looking and dreaming. my weakness is clarks..i simply cannot wait to buy a pair of shoes for my child..v bizzare but there you go 

jilldill..so sorry to hear of your recent bereavement 

laine - not long till panel  

nats - hope snugs is continuing to settle well

viva - hope all your info visits go well and that you start heading towards a decision of some sorts

we have another sw visit today..the last one for while as both she and us have holidays..hoping that by the end of todays we should have most things in the bag..she has interviewed our refs over the past week so thats all done. i think we have to do the financial stuff today....we have one more visit end of Jukly to tie up loose ends and then it should all be in the bag, cross fingers. will have to get the family bk done over the next month..think i am finally formulating the idea for that!

right doggy needs a walk

love to all

kj x

gotta fly..doggie needs a walk


----------



## jilldill

Hello Everyone,

Hello Bella, you are very welcome here you will find this an extremely friendly and supportive board between us we can usually muddles through and come up with the answer to things!

Magenta, are you ok? any word from SW or is it all quiet?

Jenifer, just wondering if you spoke to anyone about the incident? It is a really hard thing to do I know I have done it.

Alex, I hope you are nursing a hang over today, let us know how it all went

Boomer, poor old Strawbs how are her teeth doing? 

Nats, how is little Snugs doing?

KJ, thanks for the mention I hope you are doing ok

Laine, ooo not long now!!!!

Viva, hoe are you doing?

Pam, how is the littlie I bet you can't believe how your life has changed so quickly!!!

Tracey, Are you ok take care

Cindy, how are things going are things moving yet?

Sanita, how are you and how is it all going?

Lauren, thank you for the lovely message recently, the support on here is just invaluable. I loved the John Lewis story you are braver than me I can't go near anywhere like that yet.

Welshy, enjoy Greece, I love it there where about are you going? I am still hoping for a break but who knows

Hi PBM, hope you and yours are doing well

Hi Karen, are you as busy as ever how are the girls?

Love to everyone and those I have missed. looks like we are getting nice weather for the weekend and Englands next game. I am addicted to the World Cup have seen nearly every game. 
Take care JD xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi everyone, thanks for your thoughts and advice.  I emailed my sw about it but not received a reply to date.  Oh well, at least my concience is clear now.  It really preyed on my mind that I was letting that child down by letting his mis-treatment go on without telling anyone.

Nothing happening here re adoption.  I was reading another adoption board yesterday and people on there had been waiting 2 years for the right child to come along!  I feel I've waited long enough already to get this far without another 2 years for the right child on top!  I wonder how many people pull out during the waiting stage?  It is a silly system - all this waiting when children are desperate for homes we are told.  My sw told me that the longest someone she was looking to place a child with was 1 year but it usually takes 4-6 months.  One month down and counting .....

Ds is off school with tonsillitus so on antibiotics but well enough to play car games on the playstation!

Bye for now


----------



## alex28

hi all , i have posted my news on another thread but will try and catch up later.  Mu modem is down at home so can only post at work . xxxx


----------



## superal

Hi all - not posted for a while again things are getting better just taking longer than I thought! also my stupid computer is playing up but we get a new one on Friday so will be able to catcth up with everyone then -Cindy will reply on Friday!  Barbarella -will be bombarding you as well! - Love to you all some lovely news at the moment

Andreax


----------



## cindyp

Hi All

Alex, posted to you on the other thread.

Jennifer, I think you did the right thing.  Have you started looking around yourself in BMP or CWW.  We were incredibly luck as we were linked straight away but I can fully sympathise with your frustration.

JD, any nice news come your way for a change?

KJ, must be good to think you're nearly at the end of your HS.

Kylie, my sympathies, it's awful when they start getting their back teeth.  Here's hoping that Strawbs doesn't suffer too much.  

Bella, welcome to the group, I think Sanita's given you a lot of good advice already that I can't really add to.

Laine, not long now till panel, I bet you can't wait.

Welshy, my DH had filled in a CRB for his job but still had to do another one, the bureaucracy can make yo scream sometimes.  Not long till your holiday.

Lauren, made me smile reading about your in John Lewis, hopefully it won't be long until you actually get to buy the buggy.

To everyone else I know I've missed loads, hope you are all well and enjoying the footie   

We started out HS last night,our SW has hurt her foot so her DH had to drop her off at our house.  It eas all very nice and informal and we were chatting so much her DH arrived before she was ready.  We've got our first homework, going through our old Form F and noting down any changes.  She's still fairly hopeful we can get the HS completed within a few visits and it looks like we won't have to have medicals this time as it's not been that long since the last one.

love to all
Cindy


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Alex - posted you on the other thread too  

Lauren - John Lewis has some lovely things...hopefully not long until you are buying them for your little.  The confirmation letter does make it feel more real.

Bella - welcome to the adoption board.  Looking forward to sharing your journey with you.

Welshy - any news from the sw yet?  Where in Greece are you going?

Viva - glad you had a nice time in Devon.

Jill - can't you arrange with your sw to keep in touch on a monthly basis?  I am addicted to the World Cup too and like you have seen nearly every game.  Really looking forward to the quarter finals.

Boomer - good to hear Strawb is doing fine.

Kj - where are you going on holiday?  Have fun with the family book.

Jennifer - hope ds is well soon.  I have read about different waiting times too.  Hope your sw is right and you are matched soon.

Andrea - hi there!

Cindy - good news on the medicals and that you have started HS.

Hi to everyone else.

Thanks for thinking of me and panel, counting down the days now.
Finally finished our family book, which I am pleased with.

Laine


----------



## everhopeful

Hi

Yes I am still alive (just!!), Thanks for the mentions.
Not been around for a while, with nothing to report, I've been busy getting on with life.

Thanks to all who gave tips for my pasta dish, in the end I bought one from Asda, mainly because I didnt have time to faff, when I had a fresh fruit salad to prepare. Party went very well and everyone enjoyed it. It was our wedding anniversary and my birthday joint party.
So after all the celebrations at the weekend, I'm quietly skulking into my old age tomorrow   And to think I always thought when I was little that 30 year old's were middle aged!!! Oops! I still feel 16. Hay-ho!

Love and best wishes to everyone.

Ever (decrepid!!)   

xx


----------



## keemjay

well i was feeling really postive earlier but our sw visit took a very unexpected turn, and not good.
sorry a me me me moment coming on..i cant believe myself what i am about to type  i should never have mentioned the clarks shoes earlier..it jinxed us

remember i mentioned an 'issue' with dh's uncle..cant go into detail but its not nice and he has been to prison, and is just out. we have totally upfront about it all the way along and although its an issue that would come up at panel, we've been assured it isnt going to prevent us from being approved. we've been over and over it with the sw, really picked it apart and have assured her that basically our children will not be able to be in contact with dh's uncle..ever.
apparently now some new info has now come to light about him, which they cant tell us as its confidential   but it changes what our sw thinks about him and basically it is now an issue that could potentially prevent us from getting approved. she has to have a meeting on fri with someone senior and will phone us after that..apparently they have never taken anyone to panel with this situation. 
worst case scenario is that they cant take us any further because of the strong likelihood that panel will reject us,and that will be the end.i cant even begin to think about that happening...
if they decide we have a chance we will have to do some hefty reading, meet with some specialists to talk thru the 'issue' some more, (which may also mean setting panel back a month or so as we are running close to the wire now timing-wise) and go to panel and cross our fingers we have covered everything..panel may still reject us but at least we get to give it a shot. if we are refused we could appeal..(not an attractive option..stressful and prob long and drawn out) so basically we are hanging on thread just now...we have been thru the mill this eve..cried buckets, got angry, the works. angry because we aired this so early on and its only now they decided to dig around for more info...angry cos we aired it to someone senior and they should probably not have given our case to a new sw who is suddenly out of her depth  angry that we cant be told the info that is changing everything, angry that yet again our path to become parents seems so far away again 
on the plus side, or perhaps she was trying to cheer us up, our sw says we have EVERYTHING else on our side, our references glow and everyone has said we will make good parents
as you can imagine i'm feeling really rotten, my head aches and i feel like i cant breathe till we get the phone call on friday. its so unfair, we barely see this uncle and we are being punished for his actions 

love to all

kj x


----------



## jilldill

Oh KJ,
I am so sorry you are being put through all this to say it's unfair doesn't come near. I know there is really nothing I can say that will ease you feelings. Just one thought many of us have thought an issue has been dealt with during the process then right at the end they bring it all up again. I know it isn't the same at all but we had the same thing over trying to contact the X wife. suddenly with a day to go we had to do lists of everything we had tried to do to find her. They try to cover them selves with everything but this is so hard on you please take care and keep us up to date.
love JD x


----------



## alex28

KJ  so sorry about all you are going thru - you must be pulling your hair out. 
However your honesty should prevail and they should understand that you have no contact etc with your uncle.  I know it might not seem it at present but i am sure all be ok in the end.  Thinking of you lots. xxx


----------



## Emcon

KJ

I am so sorry you must be destraught, we are lucky to have been approved, but our SW is off sick at the moment and they are really messing us about, I was going to have a really me me me post too today, but having read yours it has made me appreciate how lucky we are to be at the stage we are at.  

I really hope this works out for you, after waiting so long to become a mummy I am sure like the rest of us you have felt that at least with adoption you will eventually become one!  I cannot believe that this issue is only now becoming a real problem for you, I feel so cross for you that they did not sort this out at the start for you both and as for the information that has come to light, as this is having such a massive impact on your lives I think you have every right to know.  Stay strong, heres hoping and praying that this can be overcome.

take care

Em


----------



## Mummyof2

SW got back to me yesterday re little boy and said that unfortunately this happens all the time and nothing can be done about someone's poor parenting skills as long as the child is clean and proper weight.  She apologised she could do no more.

KJ - so sorry to hear about this major concern.  Unfortunately same thing happened to my friend with less than desirable relative so she was unable to proceed with adoption.  Heartbreaking and no fault of hers (or yours).  Hope your story has a happy ending.

Laine - good to hear that you are pleased with the family book.  In the end we were pleased and rather proud of ours.  Amazing what you can do with a bit of imagination.  I was sure yours would be good as you have so much talent obvious in your card making.

Cindy - thanks for the suggestion.  I have looked in this month's cww and there were 4 possible children in there but reading between the lines as advised by my sw, they all had major issues so we didn't take it any further.

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## Suzie

just popping by to send kimmy a massive  and a rant  on your behalf hun

~It makes me a little mad when things like that happen, we cant help who we are related to! and it shouldnt make one iota of difference to your application! My dh mum suffered with depression when he was younger and they made big thing about that with us in the beginning
I hope they see sense and realise they are approving you and dh not some distant relative

I will drop off my soap box now!

love to all
suzie xx


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Ever - glad the double celebration went well.

Jennifer - at least the sw got back to you.

Em - is no one covering for your sw then?

Kj - sorry to hear your news.  I really hope that soemthing can be sorted out for you both.  Sending you (((((warm, snuggly hugs)))))).  

Hi to everyone else.

Laine


----------



## jilldill

KJ,
I am thinking about you today and I hope so much that the news is abit brighter. It must have been an endless couple of days for you. If you feel up to it let us know how its gone today.
Love JD x


----------



## Lauren

Hi KJ,

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you today too.  I really am hoping and praying that you hear some good news.  I don't know what else to say about a situation that clearly does not make any sense whatsoever and for that reason I suppose you have to try and believe that it will all work out in the end.

Big, big, big hugs to you.

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi KJ,

just a quick msg to wish you the best of luck today.....hope it all goes well for you.

Also just a quick update....Boo's eczema is all cleared up. His SW is popping around for a visit later, so hope he doesn't get too bothered by it. He's just started sleeping throught the night since his eczemas started, so could do without that changing. 

hope everyone else is well.

PS to those of you going for a second, how long did they expect you to wait post-placement? Not that I'm in a rush, just wondering.

xxxruthie


----------



## sanita

Just wanted to send my support to KJ.  I've been thinking of you today.  Hope you've had some positive news.


----------



## keemjay

thanks guys for all your support, it means alot 

not really that much to report but the good news is that its not over just yet..the bad news is that we are still in limbo land. basically they are looking into the legal side of things ie are they actually legally allowed to place a child with us? they are also looking into us being able to have access to the 'information' that has changed everything, and finally they *think * that at the moment we will keep our panel date of 31st aug and use that date as a type of 'sounding out panel' ie presenting the case and see what happens. in the meantime we will have to do a ton of research and meet with professional who can 'coach' us in how to keep any children safe. the worrying thing is that even if we do get approved it will still be on our form F and therefore the sw of any potential match will have access to it and might consider us to be too risky

reading that back the bad news outweighs the good really  the more i go over it the worse it seems. and we could soend the next 2 months preparing only to still be turned away. i understand why they are taking this very seriously but i just dont understand why if he is that much of a risk has he been released? surely he poses more risk to his new next door neighbour!! hopefully if we find out the extra info it might make more sense 

we are still in shock obviously, the timing couldnt be worse as we have 2 weeks holiday from today..going camping for a week on thurs..another holiday where we still dont know what way our lives are going to turn 

thanks again for being there  

kj x


----------



## alex28

KJ - you seem a bit more upbeat after that update.  I am sure SS will get their act together and come back to you soon with some good news.  I am sure they would not turn you down on the above points as you are both too good parents to be for them not to continue.

I hope you have fun camping and things are resolved on your return.  Thinking of you lots. xxx


----------



## wynnster

Hi 

Sorry haven't been around much.

KJ - So sorry to read your recent posts   I cannot begin to imagine how stressful this is for you and your DH and how angry you must be at DH's uncle    I really really hope that the right decision is made and you are approved at panel. the fact that your children will have no contact with this 'uncle' and that you will make great parents will outweigh the risk involved.

So sorry hun, such added stress when all you want is to be a mummy and daddy  

Kim x


----------



## superal

Hi everyone

I have a new computer and can now go on line more often and I'm feeling a lot better over the loss of my beloved dog!   Thankyou to everyone for your kind messages.

KJ - sorry to read your recent post, I hope things get sorted for you.

Ruthiebabe - Are you thinking of a second already?  We waited until DS had been with us for 2 years and then we applied.  Hope things are going great for you and your family, I bet it seems as though he has never not been there.

Barbarella - How are you?  I have been thinking about you a lot later, especially when I hear a Duran Duran record!!   (SLB - Still mine!!)

Pam - How is life with your little man, apart from hectic, I bet he's growing fast.

Lauren - Have you had any news yet?  I really thought you'd be approached by now from what you were saying in your earlier posts.  I hope you don't have to much more of a wait.

Hi to everyone else.

For those of you waiting, I know this is the hardest bit, you thought getting approved was hard didn't you BUT that is nothing compared to what you are going through at the moment.  I wish I could give you some good advice, the only advice I can give is to keep yourself busy, plan things a week at a time and come on here and moan to us all.

Well my children have handled the death of one of our dogs really well and they have surprised me at how well they have bounced back to life, life goes on & we all have to move on.  DD has many a "serious" talk with myself, telling me that he is no longer suffering and he is running around heaven with my Dad, such good words of wisdom for one so young.

DD also keeps asking if we can get a puppy!

I feel it is good for children to have a pet and our dogs were adult dogs as we had our dogs before our children.  Part of me says YES but not just yet, I don't think it's fair on the memory of our old dog.  Part of me says it would be company for the other dog which is on his own now but it's his time to be made a fuss off.

Life is never simple and reading some of your news recently tells me to thank my lucky stars for what I have got and to get on with my life.

I hope you are all well and will be watching the football later to cheer on our boys.  I only ever watch the England games and it's got nothing to do with seeing the likes of Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard & David Beckham run around a field in football shorts, honest! 

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Barbarella

Hi Everyone

Sorry I've not been around lately.  Has taken me ages to catch up on everyone's news.. so many of us on here now.  I love the way we all apologise when we can't do personals... lol.    

Right... for personals (LOL)....

KJ - I am so upset to read about your problems. It makes me so angry that you would make fantastic parents and something a relative has done could ruin all that.  I am so sorry and hope and pray that this turns out positive for you and you get your dream.  I can't imagine what you must be going through right now.

Andrea - SLB is and always will be mine.  LOL.  Am good thanks.... will reply to your email soon.  Glad things are getting back to normal for you....

Laine - best of luck for your panel date... I'm almost jealous, because I want to go through it again.  We were on such a high that day, it was fantastic.  I know you'll pass with flying colours.  

Nats/Boomer/Ruthie... so lovely to hear about your little ones and how much you love them. It's so wonderful to read without having to get jealous... because I KNOW that will be me sometime.  I love reading about the antics of your little ones.  

Lauren - how wonderful going into John Lewis baby section and feeling like you belong!!!  I can't wait.  I still can't bring myself to do it just yet, but I have my eye on a Silver Cross XT pushchair (suitable from birth to toddler...) so can't wait to order it.  Am tempted now, but something is stopping me.

Bella - welcome to the board.  It's so lovely to be here.  I hope your journey is a smooth one.  Look forward to sharing it with you.

Jilldill - sorry to hear about your bereavement.  I am sorry your SW isn't keeping in touch.  I am quite lucky there, but you still feel out on a limb with the wait.  We've been lucky to have been selected for 2 possible matches, but I never want to go through a rejection again.  We felt so awful, it's not a nice experience and I still think about that little boy every day and hope that he's being matched with a lovely family.  I hope you hear soon and it's the right one first time.  

Lauren - fab news on your approval.. well done. It's such a good feeling isn't it. 

Alex - same to you.  I think I said the exact same thing "we finally got our BFP"... it's such a great feeling.  Many congrats.

*waves to Karen* - hope life is still treating you well and things have settled down a bit for you.  Hope the girls are happy and healthy!!

Ever - hope you had a nice birthday.  If you think 30 is old, you wanna try being 38... LOL... !!  I don't care.. it's only a number.    Don't forget that 30 is the new 20 (have I said that right...lol you know what I mean!).  So that makes me 28 and you 20 !!  FAB !!!

Magenta - hope you get some positive news soon.  I agree with your post.. it is very hard to have your hopes up and then smack right back down to earth again.  Although I suppose we should be used to it..!

Jennifer F - horrible horrible woman !!!  Need I say more. 

*waves to Cindy/Kimmy/Viva/Sanita/Olive/Em...*

Soooo sorry if I've forgotten anyone.... but love and luck to everyone at whatever stage they are at.

I have just accidentally deleted all this thread and was about to throw a strop, when I discovered the undo on the right click... thank goodness.

As for me... had a wonderful birthday - the celebrations spanned a week and I was thoroughly spoilt.  Been enjoying this fabulous weather - been to the beach this afternoon which is only 2 mins from my house.  Not the sandiest of beaches, but hey, no traffic jams and relatively empty, especially today due to the football.  

Am feeling much better since saying no to the little boy.  We REALLY did think this was it, so it was so hard to say no.. but had to be done for all our sakes.  We knew he wasn't right for quite a few reasons.  No less heartbreaking though.

Just waiting for the next phone call and hoping it won't be too long.  They are doing CRB checks for both sets of parents, and we have another appt booked with SW at the end of July.  Hoping we see her before that though.. really want to be a Mummy and Daddy before Christmas.

Love and luck to everyone...

C xx


----------



## KarenM

Whilst we wait for our fab admin team to sort thrugh the remaining posts just thought we could have an update thread so I can catch up with the list.

Here's the latest list I had.

* Post matching *

*Karen *: Approved at panel on 22nd April 2004. First little girl moved in on 8/11/04, second little girl moved in on 9/12/04. Legally adopted 21/10/05

*Ann*: Approved at panel on 4th November 2004. Matched to two girls, who moved in in January 2005. Legally adopted 31st August 2005

*Cindy*: Approved at panel on 27th October 2004. Matched to a little boy who moved in Feb 2005. Legally adopted 21st July 2005. Applied to adopt number 2.

*Everhopeful*: Approved at panel in 17th Feb 2005, little girl moved in on 23/05/05. Legally adopted 19th December 2005

*Pooh bears Mummy* : Approved at panel on 3/3/2005, little boy moved in on 10/06/05. Court date to legally adopt Jan 2006.

* Superal* Adopted a 3 yr old boy in Jan 97 & a 9 month old baby girl in June 2001

* MummietoLottieandLilly* (Lilliana) Adopted 2 girls aged 12 months and 2 years 4 months in May 2005.

*Ang* (Molly 2003): Approved at panel August 2005. Matched to a 9 month old girl. Moved in on 11/5/06

*Kylie* (Boomerang Girl): Approved at panel on 24/11/05. Matched to little girl "Strawberry". Panel 2/5/06, comes home on 20/5/06

*Ruth*: Approved at panel on 2/6/2005. Matched to little boy "Boo". Panel 11/05/06. Moved in on 14/6/06

*Nats* Approved at panel in March 2005, Matched to 11 month old boy. Panel 15/05/06. Moved in on 15/6/06

*Pam (saphy75) * Approved at panel 10/01/06, Matched to two month old baby boy. Matching panel 22/05/06. Moved in on 31/05/06 


* Post Panel/Awaiting Match *

* LB *: Approved at panel on 15/6/05, now awaiting suitable match.

* rianna * Approved at panel November 2005, now awaiting suitable match

*Tracey H*: Approved at panel 23/11/05, now awaiting suitable match

* jilldill* Approved at panel April 2006, now awaiting suitable match

* Magenta * Approved at panel April 2006, now awaiting suitable match

* Emcon * Approved at panel March 2006, now awaiting suitable match

* (Gill) gillywilly * Approved at panel April 2006, now awaiting suitable match

* Barbarella * Approved at Panel 27/4/06, now awaiting suitable match

* JenniferF* Approved at Panel 11/05/06, now awaiting suitable match

* Lauren * Approved at panel on 19/6/06, now awaiting suitable match. Matched to little girl approved at panel awaiting move in date

* Alex28 * Approved at panel on 27th June 2006, now awaiting suitable match.

* Laine * Approved at panel on 3/7/06, now awaiting suitable match 

 * Waiting for Panel Date/Panel Result *

* Momo * Waiting for panel date

* Kizzie * Completed Form F. Panel June 2006

* Morgana * Panel August 2006

* keli haslem * Panel 14/9/06 


* Home Study/Prep Course *

* Milk tray * Just swapped LA. Prep course April 2006

* keemjay * Currently on home study

* Lisaw36 * Prep course 25/1/06

* Sanita * Prep course May 2006

* Ange K * Prep course and home study started May 2006

* melaniejhodson * Prep course June 2006

*EML * Prep course June 2006 


* Initial Stages *

* Jo * Open evening attended LA appointment 13/07/06

* Jan Welshy * SW visit 01/06/06

* Lettuce * Open evening attended waitng for SW visit

* Fiona 1 * Waiting for intro evening - concurrent planning

*Viva* Waiting for SW visit/interview

* Katykitten * Considering Adoption

* Kimmy * Open Evening 9/5/06

* spauly* Considering Adoption

* ritzisowner * Currently completing application forms 
[br]: 31/07/06, 22:34Hope you've all been ok whilst that horrible ****** did rotten stuff to our beloved FF.

Since I was last able to post, my dad has been released from hospital but is going back in next week for a minor op.

The kids are doing great. Started potty training with the youngest and the eldest has just moved into the pre-school room at nursery.

Work as ever is manic, particularly now it is holiday season and I am mid assignment for uni. Passed the first one I did.

Glad to have FF back and can't wait to read everyone's news.

Love
Karen x


----------



## Lauren

Yippeee!!!  So pleased to have FF back!  Have really, really missed coming on here and catching up with everyone.  I don't think I realised what a lifeline it is so great to have you back FF!

Update here is that we had matching panel yesterday for our little baby girl which was unanimously agreed!  So we are very excited we have now got over the final hurdle!  We have a date to meet her next Tuesday.  This is apparently a half hour visit for us to see her and decide if we still want to go ahead!  Crazy or what!  I cannot think of anything in a million years that would make us change our mind!  We then have to wait until 30th August for intros meeting as dd's social worker is on hols!  Annoying cos I want her home with me NOW!  Intros will start the next day and should take 4 to 7 days before she is home with us permanently!

Am going to nickname her Daisy for these boads as she came to us in the summer when all the beautiful flowers are out in the garden!

Can't wait to hear everyone elses news, hope everyone is well. 

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


----------



## wynnster

Hi Everyone

How lovely to be back   Missed you all loads and can't wait to hear everyones updates  

Karen - Great that your dad was released from hospital but sorry that he has to go back in, all the best for his op.  Well Done for passing your exam  

Lauren - What absolutely Fabulous News Hun, I bet you can't wait to meet Daisy (lovely name - very appropriate) Thats awful timing for the SW to have a holiday though, can't they cancel   Although just think of all the lovely things you can be doing in preparation for your daughters home coming  

Hope everyone else is well.

I finally plucked up the courage to call the SW to ask why we still hadn't heard anything from them since May, I spoke to our sw who sounds lovely and we have an initial meet on 21st August    I also asked about us moving as i've been so worried about it setting everything back but she said it's an ideal time to move and won't affect the process at all - YIPPEE!

Kim xxx


----------



## naoise

Hi everybody, it seems like I haven't been here forever, we were on holiday and then when we came back my laptop was mucking me around and then by the time I got it fixed FF was down, so apologies as I have no idea where everyone is. 

Karen I am glad to hear that your Dad has come out if hospital and I hope he recovers from his minor op quickly.

Lauren I am sure you are over the moon with your match, I can understand how you feel about wanting to bring Daisy home with, but it won't be long now.

We have got my sw coming with her manager on Friday morning to have our final chat, and then we wait for September I have butterflies in my stomach thinking about it already, I dread to think what I will be like on the day. Dh is still in his spinal jacket and has found out that his spine at his tailbone has been pushed forward and out of line and that he has fractured his wrist, which he has left too long to put in a cast, he had a pretty miserable holiday as he obviously couldn't do anything at all and he is usually so active on holiday that I think it made him depressed seeing everyone jumping in the pool and doing all the activities, but hopefully next time we go away he will be feeling a lot better.

I hope everybody is having a lovely summer and I hope to catch up with you all soon.

LOL Keli


----------



## alex28

yay!! we are back!!!

Keli - hope all goes well on Friday - not long to go now till September. xx

Lauran - omg!!! what fab news to come back to!  My neice has Daisy as one of her middle names - lovely!!!

Karen - well done on passing your exams - you must beover the moon!  Hope your dads op goes well. xx

Kimmi - hiya - hope your meet at the end of the month goes well.

Not much of an update from me, SW is visiting this pm for us to approve our re-worded Form F and then it gets sent to the matching team so heres hoping its not a long wait after this.  Had a dream last night that she came and told us about a match of 2 girls ages 20 months and one of 30 months but they were both children of a client of mine who could not look after them!! Weird huh!!

Hope everyone else is doing ok esp those that have been mummies for only for short time - hope its all going well. xx


----------



## magenta

hello everyone,

karen - congrats on the first assignment and good luck with this one.  i am sure it will be fine.

Lauren - what great news!  I bet you can't wait to meet her.  remember to come here and give us lots of updates and info.

Kimmy  - all the best for your August meeting. not long now 

Keli - hope your DH feels better very soon.  nothing worse than your body not being able to do what your mind says you can.  hope he can be fit and active again in a short time.  All the best for friday's meeting.

Alex - hope the meeting went ok.  I know what you mean abot adoption dreams. they can seem so real and yet be so weird too.  i honestly dreamt three nights in a row that we were adopting a wee boy from church (his mum is sick).

Update from me...

About 10days ago we got papers through about a little girl so waiting to see if we will be linked or if they can send more info regarding her health/disability issues.  Weirdly i am not 'excited' about her like i have been in the past with other 'profiles' we have seen.  which seems an odd thing to say.  maybe just mentally preparing myself for it not working out though.

really missed you all. So glad FF is back running again.

magenta xxx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Everyone,
So glad we are up and running it's frightening how much I depend on this site and all my friends now for support. No news whatsoever from me as usual. I do however feel like I have just been kicked very hard in the teeth. Pre adoption and after treatment we seriously considered surrogacy over a 4 month period with someone we know, who had completed their family. They finally decided that she couldn't go through with it which was all very upsetting but I completely understood the decision. Anyway I have just found out she is pg! I am just shattered by this news as I had dreamt for several months she would be having "our" baby. To be honest this has knocked me for six, I can't get my head round it at all. Sorry to come straight back on here with an upset message but I really feel no one understands this one.

I will do presonals later except for Lauren, this is amazing news I can't believe how quickly all this has happened for you, enjoy!!!!

Love to all JD x


----------



## TraceyH

Hi All

I have missed you.

Update from this end is that we have had our Form F re-done to bring it in line with the new format and our names are now on the Consortium Register as well as the National Register.  I am feeling more positive about things and our SW has said that our file has actually been looked at and not just left on the shelf.

Looking forward to hearing everyone's news.

Glad to be back.

Tracey


----------



## Jo

Hi Everyone.
Hope you are all ok.
Sorry about the downtime 
I am going through all the posts we have left to sort into the right threads and will get your posts back as soon as I can 

I might be AWOL for a while, but will be back 

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## superal

Isn't it great that we are back on line, Tony & his team have worked really hard, well done to them!

like everyone else I have missed logging in & seeing whats been going on.

My Gran actually called today & it's so hard looking at her knowing she hasn't got that much time with us,SAD! 

I've just done DD annual newsletter to her BPS & they have moved with out informing SS of where they have gone to. This may mean I don't have to do letter box contact anymore  It also means that BM might  be pg again, this is what they did when they were expecting our DD, move. Part of me can't help but wish as sad it may seem that she is, as SS have always said if that was the case we would be contacted first if they were unable to parent this child as well, BPS have had other children took of them. Like I said I can't help feel a little excited as I have always wanted 3 children & DH has said this is the only way we would adopt again. It's just wishful thinking really, they have most probally just moved & forgot to inform SS, we'll see what the next few months bring!

Lauren - excellent news!!

Hello to everyone else.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Jo

Hi Everyone.
Hope you are all ok.
Sorry about the downtime 
I am going through all the posts we have left to sort into the right threads and will get your posts back as soon as I can 

I might be AWOL for a while, but will be back 

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## keemjay

hey all, hope everyones well and recovering from their ff withdrawal 

superal, your head must be bursting with the possibilities, I'm trying to guess how you are feeling, but i guess what will be will be

lauren - fab news on your match with daisy 

jilldill, lots going on in your head too, understandable that this would knock you a bit. thinking of you

the news from us is better but we are by no means out of the woods yet. the sw team are happy to continue with us, they feel the risks are manageable but only panel will have the final say in the end. dh's uncle is at a high risk of re-offending but theres no evidence to suggest that he would target us/our potential children.. panel has been shifted, initially they said we would get in mid-sept but today they've said it'll be more like mid-oct  as there are no slots left for sept grrrr. feels like AGES away!! our sw thinks we have a good chance so we can only hope that those on panel feel the same. i wish all this would be over, its feeling like its dragging on far too long. i'm swaying from feeling really positive to knowing that we still might get turned down, it could go either way.....

right must get to bed

love to all

kj x


----------



## Mummyof2

phew - what a long time off site.  hello everyone - how are we all


----------



## Lauren

Hi again!

I'm really sorry I'm about to do a totally ME post but I just had to share this with everyone!  

Yesterday morning got a phonecall from Daisy's sw to say foster carer has a video of Daisy for us to have a look at.  She didn't want to post it cos its an original so if we wanted to go and pick it up from foster carers house aslong as we went between 11 and 1 when Daisy would be sleeping we could pick it up and have a tiny peek at her in her cot!  Of course I was totally excited thinking I was going to get even the tiniest peek at my daughter so you can imagine how speechless and overwhelmed I was when we arrived at the house to see the most gorgeous little girl crawling down the hall towards us and the foster carer saying to us "go and say hello to your daughter!"  

We stayed for an hour playing with her and chatting to foster carer and it was just the most special time in my whole life!  She didn't stop giggling and smiling and when she crawled onto my knee (to try and grab my necklace!) my heart melted!

I know we have been so incredibly lucky at the speed at which everything has happened and I feel so very blessed to have been given such a perfect little girl and because of this it is probably easier for me to say to everyone else out there who is waiting for a match or going through the process, you will get there in the end and when you do everything that went before it will pale into insignificance.  I understand now and accept why I had to go through all those years of tx to get to where I am today.

Promise to do personals later!

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


----------



## Suzie

aww what a lovely post lauren! what such a special day for you 

enjoy every precious second with your new daughter

fab!

love
suzie x


----------



## Ange K

Lauren - I'm loving your story! How excited you must be. I went all tingly when I read your post!

Hi to everyone else - I've really missed FF - glad it's back!

We've finished our prep course now, got our medicals and a couple more home visits and panel date should be Oct/Nov - very excited to be at this stage!

Will catch up when I've got a bit longer to type!

Ange x


----------



## alex28

oh Lauren what a wonderful day you have had - brings tears to my eyes!!  Thanks soooo much for sharing this with us. 

Ange - well done on getting the prep course done - your panel date is not too far away now xx

KJ - sorry your panel date has been changed yet again but keep those positives vibes going - it sounds like they are still very keen to proceed with you and why not eh!

Andrea - omg!!! how excited must u be feeling inside - got my fingers crossed for you - the perfect addition to your already wonderful family!

well we had our sw visit yesterday after she re-worded a lot of the strenghts and weakness section - it reads sooo much better now - she has placed kids in the past and therefore knows what the form f reads like and felt that quite a bit needed re-wording.  She has done a great job and is planning on dropping it into my work in the next day or so to enablre us to sign the alterations and then it can FINALLY go to the matching team at long last. 

hope everyone else is doing ok, xxx


----------



## alex28

hi jennifer - i think everyone  is posting on the other "update" thread whilst this thread gets all the old posts back up and running!


----------



## Viva

Hello everyone,
Been really busy recently and tried to get on here a couple of times to catch up and found the message board down, hadn't realised it had been down for so long though! Big Thank you to Jo, Olive and the other Admin stars who are getting everything straight again and rehoming all the lost posts, also to Karen for the updates!

We've just got back from an initial meeting today which went very well, the SW told us she's going to put in her report form today's meeting that she recommends that we are accepted to apply with them, but this will need approval from her manager and he will also give us an idea how long we might need to wait to be allocated a SW for the HS, with this LA you start HS and do your prep course as a part of it. We also had another initial interview with a different LA about 4 weeks ago, again very positive at the meeting and we were told that the SW was going to recommend us to be invited onto the Prep course being run in September (Prep course first with this LA), we were told that it may be a couple of weeks before we got official confirmation of being invited on the Prep course but 4 weeks later we're still waiting! So basically we're not waiting on two LA's to let us know whether we can move on to the next stage with them and then we will need to decide between them. I never thought the adoption process would be quick, but I am surprised at how long it's taken to even get to the point of knowing if we can apply to adopt!

Lauren, such wonderful news about your match, your post about meeting Daisy had me feeling all warm and fluffy inside! How old is she, I'm sure you've posted this before but I didn't see the post. I'm sure the month will go quickly although I do understand your impatience!

Karen, sorry to hear that you're Dad's been unwell, I hope his op goes well. Congrats on passing your first assignment 

Kimmy, hope all goes well with your initial meeting, DH and I have enjoyed ours and didn't find them at all stressful...not that we've heard yet if they will take us on  and all the best with your moving plans!

Keli, Hope your DH is continuing to mend, sounds like you will both deserve another holiday! I'm sure your final meeitng will go well and we'll be congratulating you both post panel before you know it!

Alex, hoping your dream comes true...although maybe not the bit about them being children of one of your clients! Here's to a short wait anyway! Good to hear your SW has your form F perfected now!

Magenta, I guess you will know when the time is right if this little one is for you, I can't help wondering a little if the whole process is a little like falling in love, for some people it happens like a thunderbolt and other times it grows, but either ways can be right and just as real.

Jilldill, sorry to hear that you are feeling so shocked and upset by your friends news, I can understand why though, it can be hard enough when friends get pregnant anyhow without the added complications that you have. Hopefully it won't be too long now before you have some positive news of your own.

Tracey, glad to hear that things have been moving on for you and that your details are mow out there for other SW's to access too!

Andrea, Sorry to hear that your Gran's not well, hopefully you will be able to have some special time with her. It's a strange situation to be in with your DD's BP I can see why you can't help hoping a little!

Keemjay, I was so so pleased to hear that they are continuing with your application, I'm sure it will all be worth the long wait and sleepless nights in the long run.

Ange, sounds like things are progressing well with your HS, quite a few people due for panel over the next fews months, once the Summer go slow is over!

Feel a bit more caught up now! Looking forward to hearing everyone elses news.
Take care
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## KarenM

Lauren

Such a fab post.  I remember that time so, well when we got to see our two unexpectedly, probabaly the best way so you haven't had long to agonise over the anticipation.  Hope you are not wearing the video out.

Happy viewing
Karen x


----------



## cindyp

Lauren, so fantastic to read your post, it must have been a lovely surprise to meet Daisy like that.  I don't know if you posted this earlier but how old is your daughter?

Jo, thanks for all the hard work you and the rest of the team have done, it's good to be back on line again.

Karen, glad to hear that your Dad is back home and hope his op goes well.  Congratulations on passing your exam, don't think I could work, parent and study you must have the stamina of a horse.  Good luck with the potty training, we had a go a couple of weeks ago with bruiser boy but after the eighth pair of pants I decided that maybe we needed to wait a bit longer before we tried again!!

Magenta, you've had so many ups and downs with previous profiles it wouldn't be surprising if you're mind is going into protective mode and stopping you from getting too worked up about this profile.  Keep us informed when you get more news.

Keli, sorry to hear that DH is still suffering, hopefully the news in September will cheer you both up.

JD, we're all with you.  It doesn't matter how together you think you are there is always something that can take you right back to the pain of if.  I love my son to bits and wouldn't be without him but that didn't stop me feeling a twinge of pain last month.  It was the anniversary of my m/c and DH returned from a visit to his brother with the news that he and his wife were expecting twins following IVF.  I'm really pleased for them but just for a moment I couldn't help but wonder why it worked for them and not for us.  It must have been so hard for you to hear that news especially as you are still waiting for the SW to find your family.  Hang in there and feel free to come on here and offload.

Tracy, that is positive news, hopefully someone will pick up your Form soon and take it home with them.

Andrea, nothing wrong with a bit of wishful thinking, it's only human nature.  Any idea how long it will take to find out what is going on with the postbox?

Kimmy, not long until 21st and it's encouraging that the SW sounds so nice.

KJ, I bet you can't wait just to get things over and done with.  Fingers crossed that the people on the panel are like minded as it would be so unfair for you to suffer from the wrongdoings of your uncle.

Ange, congrats on finishing the prep course and being that bit closer to panel.

Alex, you must be getting excited to be so near to the end.  Hope your SW's changes do the trick.

Viva, unfortunately the adoption process can be slow and frustrating.  When you think of the number of children out there it seems ridiculous but I get the impression that most of these LA's are just so understaffed.  However, it will be worth the wait.

Our SW feels she's got all the material she needs to do our new Form F.  She's gone off to write it up and to arrange interviews with our referees.  It seems a bit silly in a way as they are the same referees who will say the same things they said last time but unfortunately that is the legislation.  It seems a bit strange to think that this time next year I might have two children instead of just one.  We're trying to hurry up and get the spare bedroom decorated so that we can move our DS into a bigger room.  We'd like him to be well settled before any new child comes and takes over his old bedroom.

We had a nice day out the other week.  Although most people couldn't make it Pooh Bears Mummy and I agreed to still meet up in Oxford on the 22nd as we were both in the area.  Unfortunately although we posted IM's with our mobile numbers by the time both of us decided to pick them up the FF site was down.  We both decided to risk it and turned up at the park wandering around looking at women with prams.  Fortunately she correctly spotted me and introduced herself and we spent a nice couple of hours with our boys and chatting about the joys and pains of adopting.  Hopefully we can arrange another meet up that more people might be able to make.

Shame about the return of the rain but hopefully it will brighten up for the weekend.  We've got loads of decorating to get started on so will be rather busy but we're planning to go the seaside next week.

Take care everyone
Cindy


----------



## Emcon

Hi all

I have really missed reading all your news, I didn't realise how much I had come to rely on this site.

Plus I have also been desperate to share our news, we have been matched with an 11 month old little girl, I think I had posted this before the site went down, but to be honest I am in such a dither I do not know what way is up.  Things are progressing well, we are due to meet her 25 September with hopefully her moving in on or before 6th October, ONLY 7 WEEKS TO GO.  

We met with her SW and FS yesterday, and the FS told us that we had been down to be matched with this little girl since May and had our SW not been off (and still off sick) she would already have been with us!  We were slightly gutted as she is going to one next week and we should have been celebrating that with her, plus she is on the verge of walking another first we are going to miss, however she is lovely and we feel so blessed to have been matched with her, that we are trying to focus on what we have got and not what we have missed.

Em


----------



## Viva

Em, What wonderful news! You are so right to focus on the positives, I'm sure that there will be many many more firsts!I'm so very pleased for you.
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## naoise

Em that is fantastic news I am soo pleased for you both, and she is at such a lovely age you must be delighted. this news gives me great hope for us all.

LOL Keli


----------



## Emcon

Viva, Keli

Thanks for the replies, Keli, never lose hope, I can assure that all the heart ache, niggles and annoyance were well worth it, hang on in there.

Em


----------



## superal

Hi Em

What fantastic news!

OK so you'll miss your daughters first birthday & yes you must be gutted when your told she could have possibly moved earlier.

You'll have so many "first" things with her though & they will be so precious you'll forget how your feeling at this moment in time.

Only today our DD,who is planning Christmas already, new Argos catalogue out, all you mums with children already will know exactly where I'm coming from!

Anyway she said for her fist Christmas she got lots of big sacks with presents in of father Christmas & turned around to me and said didn't I Mummy.  I had to tell her for her first Christmas she wasn't with us, she was 9 months old when we got her but because of when her birthday is, she had her first Christmas with her BPS.

We've missed out on that but we've had so many "first" things with her it's more than made up for that.

7 weeks is not long & just think Christmas, as my DD would say is only around the corner, you'll have her with you to have your "first" Christmas together.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Thanks Alex, I wondered why it was still so quiet


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi everyone, wondered where you had all gone.  Thanks to Alex for pointing me in the right direction.

Lots has happened to you all.  Congrats to Lauren and Emcon for being matched and to Karen for passing her exam.  Hugs to those that need them.  Such a lot of posts please excuse me for not doing more in depth personals.

As for me - my sw is on holiday at the moment and then doing prep course and very busy so has no time to look for a child for us so has passed our file to the matching team and a couple of sw have asked to look at our Form F but nothing seems to have come of it yet.  She says she will have more time to look in September.  I asked if it would be ok to email other consortium members with our info + family book to bring our profile up and sw said it was a very good idea.

I'm off on hols next week so looking forward to that.

Bye for now


----------



## cindyp

Em, fantastic news.  Andrea is right, you do fight feel a bit bad now about missing those firsts but you have so many things to share in the future.  We missed our son's first step, first tooth, first birthday and first Xmas but we've had the joy of watching him learn to talk, his first nursery report and unlike the foster carers we will continue to enjoy sharing all the joy of watching him grow up.  You will be able to enjoy your daughter's first Xmas and many more things to come.  Roll on the next few weeks until you can bring her home.

Jen, welcome back mate, we weren't trying to hide honest  .  Hopefully something can come out of passing your profile around.  Enjoy your holidays.

Cindy


----------



## superal

Hi all

Just wanted to say well done & congratulations to all of those recently matched & to say to the "others" (sounds like something out of LOST) who have been approved & waiting for a suitable match.........PLEASE do not give up hope, the right child/ren are out there for you.  

Nat's was a typical example of waiting & waiting, over a year & she has her little man with her now and she knows he was worth the wait.

It can be hard at times though, your happy for the ones who have been matched but you can't help feeling jealous & hoping it was you, your only human, I've been there, got the t-shirt! 

I can't help but get my hopes up that DD BM is pg again and I think I'm sellfish for wanting her to be.  NO ONE has come to us & said this might be the case, that she is pg, BUT like I said last time they moved with out telling SS where they were going to was because they were expecting our DD.

I feel guilty for wishing that she is pg as I know so many of you are waiting for a placement & this would if anything came of it be our 3rd adoption.

I've only heard form the letterbox people that they have moved & they don't know where to.  It's me jumping the guns and hoping that my dream is going to come true.  Only the next few months will tell or even the next year, we'll Wait and see.

As for letterbox contact I've been told just the other day to do one for next year and they will keep them on file for them & then they will re-view it again next year, who knows what may happen 

I don't do one any longer for DS BM & in a way I hope I don't have to do another one but until they say NO, SS, I have to do them until she is 18.

Hope everyone is OK, don't meant to go on & be a me post but it looks like I've done it again! 

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## jan welshy

Just to let you know, our initial forms are off, waiting for CRB to come back (had ours done in Sept but no good now). Will keep you up to date but having to deal with dad being made redundant at the age of 60!!!!!!!!!!
Love
WelshyXXXXXX


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Everyone,

Just managed to get back on line, yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Will have to make it a short post though as i am at work!! but could not resist a little catch up with all my friends.

To all of those who have recently been matched well done, it is such an exciting time of your life. I had a tear in my eye just bringing back all thouse happy feelings we went through last year.

Cindy ,it was so nice to meet up with you and ds, hun, and so funny as you say we both just turned up and were eyeing all the other mums with little boys. Did you get caught in the rain storm? we got soaked to the skin. I had to strip pooh bear of in the car to his nappy and i took my pants off, we did laugh so much it was like having a warm shower. i was a shame that no one Else could make it.  Chat soon.

We have sent a letter of to SS and hope to be contacted soon for an initial visit to start the process for a brother of sister for pooh bear.

Will catch up with all your news soon.

PBMx


----------



## fiona1

Hello All,

How fab to be back online, i really missed this site. Our news is that our SW has contacted us and wants to visit us on the 17th Aug, and said he need to see us before the 24th, i am hoping this is because the prep course is starting.

We were just starting to get cold feet and thinking about another cycle of IVF as we hated the waiting, but now we have shelved that idea and are full steam ahead.

Things are starting to happen!!!!

Take care all of you


Fiona


----------



## Boomerang girl

hi girls glad all is up and running again!
superal- don't feel bad i would feel exactly the same if i were you, and you have been SO supportive to all of us its about time you did some ME posts!

lauren and emcon WOW so thrilled for you both! lauren what a joy it must have been to get that lovely time with your little one. it sounds like the foster carers are lovely too which makes intros so much easier!

everyone else, hello, hang in there, it is worth the wait. I am so in love with dd she is a little marvel. papers have been sent off to the courts (you have to wait ten weeks and have the social worker's approval which we did) and i am busy planning dd's birthday party in a couple of weeks. so exciting!


----------



## naoise

Hi girls we had our visit from the manager and our sw today and it went pretty bad, the manager wants us to fence off just about all of our garden, and we have estimated this today to cost us about 6500 pounds after we put the gates and the fencing around our garden on. I just can't understand how they can dictate these things to us when we have a lovely house and garden and all the love in the world to give to children. But we have to abide to the rules even though it seems that we are the only couple that are doing these things. What would we do if we didn't have the money to do these things? Has anyone else had these experiences or is it just us? Sorry this has been a moany post but we have been really annoyed by the visit. 

I think the fact that  I have had a few drinks tonite has made me even worse so sorry about the rant, how can people have kids and nobody cares how they are brought up and we are doing are very best and we are the  ones being victimised, it just doesn't seem fair to me.

LOL Keli


----------



## jilldill

Hi Everyone,
Just wanted to say thank you so much for the messages especially the pm's, I knew you lot would understand.
I am off to Brazil next week, I really can't wait I need to get away from all this for a while. I am planning my next trip too as I feel my wait will be very long. My friends have had a 16 month wait post approval and are still waiting! Great hey so I have to just get on with life I guess.

Love to all at whatever stage you are at. The support on here is just amazing I really can't thank you girls enough for helping to keep me sain.
Love JD x


----------



## Suzie

Think people were getting confused with the update and this thread both running since the site came back up! so have merged them back into this one

Great to hear such lovely matching stories 

xx


----------



## magenta

thanks Olive(Suzie)!

Well...no news here (again).  We didn't hear back about the little girl so again we have to assume they are looking at other (better suited) families ahead of us.  hope she gets a family really soon. However, our copy of cww arrived yesterday and there were a few possibliities so we'll get details sent next week and start over again.  Trying to be positive especially as i am going to a baby shower this afternoon and realy could do without other people's fertility being shoved in face.

magenta xx


----------



## wynnster

Hi All

Just wanted to pop on and give everyone a BIG 

Magenta - I hope that special someone is just around the corner hunny - I can imagine it's very frustrating having got so near to being a Mummy! 

Olive -  Cheers Ears

JD -  Thinking of you

Keli - So sorry you're feeling down hun, I know what you mean though feeling like you have to prove yourself (and your house!!) are suitable to have children but how come 'normal' people don't have to go through this....... 

Love to everyone else - Off for a Curry and Glass (Bottle!) of Vino  

Kim xxxx[br]: 5/08/06, 20:39EEEk - Just had to post again as noticed my No of posts said 666


----------



## Jo

Just popped in to say Hi to everyone, still working hard on the site at the moment, no news from us still waiting to hear if we have been accepted by our agency 

Hope you are all fine.

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## Barbarella

Hi Everyone

Just wanted to say hello to everyone and congrats on all those who have their matches.  A few posts had me chocked up... !!  So lovely!!

Anyway, am probably going to be a bit quiet because nothing going on at this end. SW is on compassionate leave, which I know means absolutely nothing will be done with our details until she gets back...    I'm just noticing that I log on feeling quite happy, and then log off feeling a bit down - so I just need to get on with things, and stop dwelling on it...thus my need not to log on all the time...!!!  Apologies for the selfishness.... it's just that I've spent 9 yrs wishing everyone well with their pregnancies on an infertility forum on another website I'm involved with... and I just need to think about me for a while.    

Will pop back every so often to check everyone's progress... wishing everyone speedy conclusions!!!!

DH and I are planning an exotic holiday for March next year, when I finish work - just to keep us going if things don't happen.  Like Jilldill..  I have a feeling we're in for a long ride, after the speediness of the 1st 2 phone calls.

Magneta... hugs to you hon... hope things happen for your soon.

Oh yes - we have to go to fostering panel to be in with a chance for a direct placement, which we'd been approved for.  They've changed the rules apparently.  So, even though it's extremely rare and unlikely to happen - that's what we have to do. 

Love Cxxx

*waves to Andrea... - C Le Bon - he he he*


----------



## magenta

barbarella, please don't disappear completely...I need someone else here to understand about this yucky waiting bit we're going through!    Totally understand that you need to put you first and have time away whilst you wait.  I am still (stupidly) clinging on to the hope that it won't be long til we are matched.  Anyway...see you soon and keep in touch when you are around.

Had the 'hell' of a big family party today with everyone asking us what's happening, any news? etc.  Honestly by an hour in, I just wanted 'infertile, planning to adopt....no news yet' tatooed on my head to get some other topic of conversation for a change!   My family are great and everyone is sooo looking forward to the new adopted member of the family finally arriving whenever that might be...they are so well meaning and wonderful but I just wish I had some news to share other than'...nothing yet...ask again at Christmas'.  i feel a total failure to have nothing to report.  However we are assured of a great welcome when our child eventually makes an appearance as even my second cousins were asking for news and offering spare buggies, extra toys etc.

magenta xx


----------



## Lauren

Hi everyone,

Just popping on quickly to say congratulations to Em on your match - sorry I am a few days late in congratulating you!  Looks like things are going to be happening at similar times for us so would be great to compare notes!

Also wanted to send big, big hugs to all those finding the whole process a bit disheartening at the moment.  I know it is easy for me to say as I have been so very, very lucky but the only way to stay strong is to stay positive knowing that at least with adoption we are assured a positive outcome at the end of it (as opposed to tx) even if it can be a very long road.

Lots of love to everyone.
Lauren xxx


----------



## Barbarella

Magenta - I'll be around sometimes hon - but if you need to chat... feel free to pm me any time... 

Cxx


----------



## naoise

Magenta I'm sorry that you are feeling low at the minute, people with their good willed questions are sometimes hard to take, if you need someone to talk to we are all here to help.

LOL Keli


----------



## superal

Good morning everyone

I've been awake since 6.17 a.m this morning with my Dog, he had a tooth taken out last week and it's like having a baby in the house, he whimpers, like a babies cry, hence why I've been up so early.

Barbarella - I agree with you about taking a break but don't dissapear all together, I'll still send you messages about Simon Le Bon.

For everyone who has not cottoned on, Barbarella & myself are a bit obsessed with a certain 80's band & it's lead singer!!

Magenta - I really feel for you, I have been in that situation myself many a time.  Some people are really kind and want whats best for you & then you get others who say I can't believe you haven't got a child yet, there's loads of them out there! I'm sure some one has said that to you as well.  The only thing to hang on to and keep you going is knowing the look on their faces when you do tell them your news & if will be your turn to receive all the attention, hang in there. 

Lauren - Are you still on cloud 9?  I know I would be, what a wonderful way to meet your DD for the first time.

Jo - your doing a great job of keeping the site up and running, well done for recovering what you have.  I still can not get over the stupid idiots who hacked into this wonderful site.

Kimmy - How was the curry & bottle or two you enjoyed the other night?

Boomer - Lovely that you've had the time to keep us posted.  I can't believe how the time has flown by.  Enjoy the preparations for your DD birthday party, Mummy!

Fiona - Are you still going a head with concurrent planning, I'm here if you need any advice. Good Luck

Jilldill - Don't give up hope, your doing the right thing by keeping yourself busy though, I wish you luck for a speedy placement, you never know whats around the corner, NO one really does.

Hello to everyone else, hope you have a lovely day.

Andrea
xx


----------



## fiona1

Supreal,

Yes we are still going ahead. I posted last week but i think it may have got lost along the way. We have our 1st meeting with SW on the 17th. Very excited, we were just starting to think about another cycle of tx as nothing seamed to be happening, so that's all on the back burner and we are back to concurrency.

I have followed you news and hope the BM is found and you get the news you want.

Fiona


----------



## alex28

Keli - dont worry you are not alone - we too had to put gates up around our house - ours was quite open but still very safe for kids.  We priced up thr wood from a local timber merchants and roaped in some handy friends and did it really cheaply - we told them we had to do it for safety reasons and they were all really quick to help - emotional blackmail does wonders!!!!


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Jo - can imagine how much hard work you are doing    Heard anything from the LA yet?

Lauren - congrats! on matching panel.  I bet you are getting really excited about meeting Daisy.

Em - wonderful news.  So pleased to hear you have been matched to a little girl.

Jill - sorry to hear about the pg, hope you are feeling ok?

Jennifer - how long would you have been waiting by the time you send out your profiles?  Enjoy your holiday, going anywhere nice?

Jan - sorry to hear about your dad being made redundant.

Fiona - good news on the sw visit.

C - can understand how you are feeling.  You have to do what's best for you.  I am sure you will hear some good news soon.  

Magenta - family and friends will ask if you have any news, after all they are exicted for you.  (That's my take on it).  Just think one day soon they will ask and you will be able to say yes etc....  Hang on in there hun.

Keli - the fencing/gates is a pain, hopefully you can shop around?  

Kimmy - how was the ruby?  

Andrea - aww your poor fur baby.  How is he this afternoon?

Boomer, Cindy & PBM - nice to hear from you.

Kj - glad that you are continuing.  Keeping everything crossed for you with the panel.

Tracey & Alex - hope you hear some lovely news soon.

Hi to anyone I missed.

No news from me, except to say that we have been approved for a month and the time has flown by.  

Laine


----------



## alex28

Hi Laine - nice tohear from you.  Famous now - your user name was in the CHW mag this month about the adoptionuk website!!!

Well we have finally returned our revised Form F today by hand so it can now go to the matching team so for all intents my day 1 of waiting for a match starts today!

Hope everyone else is ok.

A good friend of our died at the weekend.  He was diagnosed with bowel and liver cancer in Feb this year and has been having chemo and has been ok considering but this week he checked himself into hospital and i called him Friday to see how he was doing and then he passed away in his sleep sat pm/sun am so very sad yesterday and not looking fwd to his funeral as i know its going to be esp hard on all the men folk as they are all drinking buddies.  DH has known him about 10 years but some of our other friends have known him for about 25 years so a real bad time for them at the moment.  He was only 39 too - such a loss so any thoughts/prayers for him gratefully received. xx


----------



## superal

Hi all

Just a very quick post.

Fiona - good luck with concurrent planning.

Laine - Poor dogie is a lot better & is looking forward to our camping trip on Wednesday for a few days! 

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Boomerang girl

hi everyone glad to be back in contact- by the way what happened?

only a moment to post, but just wanted to send my thoughts to you alex. so very sad x


----------



## jan welshy

Tanks Liane. Dad is pretty low at the mo, hard for a man of 60 to face "all this bl.... time on my hands and nothing to do".
Alex, so sorry about your friend, our thoghts will be with you all.
No news from us, still waiting for blooming CRB to be passed, know it will, but just another thing to wait for. Anyway, we are currently reviewing adoption as we would dearly love to adopt two, but our finances are not looking too good now, so much spent on IVF (no regrets) but might need to say one. We shall see. 
Hope you are all well.
Love
WelshyXXXXXXXX


----------



## KarenM

Hi Ladies

Glad to have this place back, can't believe what it felt like not to have it.  Boomer - some nasty ******* hacked the server and tried to use it illegally, but Tony and the Admin Angels rescued us and are putting us back together again.  All of the mods have had to go through a load of our posts and put them into their rightful homes.

Lauren - great news on your match.  Not long to wait until 30th.  Just think this time next month  Daisy will be with you. Great news on being able to get a sneaky look.

Kimmy - great news on your progress.

Keli - Good luck for panel next month.  Sorry to hear about the fence situation.  We nearly had to replace our bannisters but managed to find a solution.

Alex - sorry to hear of your loss.  I am at a funeral today of my friends father who died suddenly on 29th July.  Hope the dream you had comes true.

Magenta - really sorry to hear you are feeling so low.  Waiting is the hardest part but I am sure once the right little one comes along the wait will soon be forgotten.

Jill - Have a fabulous holiday.  Hope you don't have long to wait and that your next big holiday will be with your new addition.

Tracey - Hope you get some luck from the Consortium.

Jo - Still in awe of the admins and all those posts.  Hope you are progressing well with your journey.

Andrea - Hope the dog is better and have a lovely camping trip.  Sorry to hear about your Gran, I can understand how difficult this must be as I am in the same position with my Grandad.
Can also understand the Argos catalogue thing - my two love sitting and looking through it.

KJ - good news that SS are happy with the level of risk.  Hope that panel see it the same.  I am sure October will be here before you know it.

Ange - sounds like things are really progressing for you.

Viva - hope you get to hear soon and can make your decision.

Cindy - glad to hear things are progressing despite the bureaucracy.  Glad you had a good meet up and really hope I can make it next time.  

Em - glad to hear things are progressing with your match and sorry to hear that she would have been with you sooner if had not been for your SW's absence.

Jenny - hope you hear something about a match soon

Jan - sorry to hear about your Dad, hope you get the CRB checks back

PBM - hope you get a response soon about starting for number 2.

Fiona - glad to hear that things are starting for you.

I'll have to finish my update later as I am about to go out.

Bye for now
Kkaren x


----------



## naoise

Sorry this is a me post today, our sw has just called and said that we are not going to make September adoption panel, I can't believe it she had promised after the last delay that we would be at the next one and here we are delayed again, She said that we would definitely be at the September fostering panel which is on the 21st of Sep, but at this moment in time I don't believe it. As we are doing this dual registration thing it means that we have to go to both panels anyway, she says that it means with this delay it won't affect anything because if we are approved at the fostering panel that we will still get children who we would have got anyway, I hope that makes sense. But I still feel let down after what her manager said on Friday dh and I have been trying to sort things out around the garden and organising gates and fencing making a real effort but now I don't think it is worth it. I know in  a day or two I'll feel better but at the minute I feel like someone has kicked me in the stomach.

Sorry to moan but I think things have started to get on top of me.

LOL Keli


----------



## Lauren

Hi everyone,

Time to do some personals!

Alex - I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, things like that really to bring you back down to earth with a jolt and make you realise how lucky you are.  I really hope the funeral isn't too harrowing.

Keli - sorry to hear your frustrating news that your panel has been put off again.  It really is difficult when you build yourself up for a particular date and you keep getting let down.  Try and stay positive.

Jan - hope you get your CRB checks back soon.  Adoption is one long waiting game but at least we all get a positive result at the end of it.

Andrea - glad your dog is better.  Enjoy your campaing, hope the weather stays good for you.

Alex and Laine - here's to a very short wait to be matched for both of you!  

Fiona - good luck for your meeting on 17th.  Hope things really start to get moving for you now.

Magenta, Jill & Barbarella - big hug to you all and keeping everything crossed you don't have too much longer to wait for your little ones.

Jo - good job getting the site back up and running.  Can't believe anyone would want to mess with this site.

Hi to everyone else and thinking of you all whatever stages you are at.  Sorry to all those I've missed but am thinking of you anyway.

Our little bit of news is that we went to see Daisy again today!  Spent a couple of hours with her with her foster carers.  She was even more adorable today then last week!  I can't wait to bring her home!!!

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


----------



## KarenM

Part two of my catch up from earlier.  Had a funeral this morning and had to get ready to leave the house and hadn't realised the time.

Barbarella - Sorry you are feeling so low at the moment.  Hope you get to hear something soon.  The waiting is the most difficult part and its made all the more frustrating when the SW is off and everything stops as a result. LOL at you and Andrea and your fettish of Mr Le Bon.  I was a John Taylor fan.

Magenta - Can understand those feelings of people seeing the adoption first and not you.  The first question people would ask is how the adoption was going so my reply was always "Well I'm fine thanks for asking and as fir the adoption......"  

Laine - glad you feel like time is flying.  Hope your wait is not too long.

Lauren - great news on the visits with Daisy.

Keli - sorry to hear about the delay.  Good luck for the fostering panel.

Right need to crack on with some post rehoming to help get all the posts back in their rightful homes.

Bye for now
Karen x


----------



## melaniejhodson

Yippee  

We have our first home visit next week,  for us going to panel next April. 

April seems so long away, think it will be a long winter for us  

Good luck to everyone.


----------



## superal

Just another quick post as we are getting ready to go camping!!

Alex- so sorry to read your sad your news about your friend.  Only last year a colleague at work died of Cancer and she did not reach her 30th birthday & left behind a 2 year old son.  It really is a horrible disease cancer, as my Gran is also dieing from it.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Karen - Oh you've gone down in my books now - a John Taylor fan!!   Seriously thankyou for your help 7 support & knowing the situation I find myself in with my Gran when you are experiencing a similar thing with your Grandad.

Keli - so sorry about the delay,sending you a hug ((())) there did you get it? 

Will be in touch when we get back, as long as the weather holds and we haven't been washed away on our campsite!

Love
Andrea
xx

PS My fur baby is nearly 100% better now, he still hasn't barked since our oldest dog died,8 weeks ago but the vet said he most probally feels he doesn't have to any more??


----------



## Jo

Hi
This is a little me post.

Had a call from the LA yesterday.

They still haven't said that they will accept us on to their list due to my M.S  , they are now contacting my neurolgist to get a report and prognosis on it.
She also said there were other issues about having so many IVF goes , anyone come across this before.

Hi to everyone.

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## Barbarella

Thanks for the mentions everyone...  am feeling ok really... just want to not dwell on things if it's going to take a long time.  When you come on here, you can't help but dwell can you.. it's all about adoption... LOL.  At least we're getting more of the house finished, the longer it takes... we've been refurbing for 2 years, so just as it's complete, a child will no doubt come and wreck it all... LOL.. can't wait !!

Alex - really sorry to hear about your friend, how awful... (((hugs to you)))

Karen.... John Taylor eh?? I met him.. he's absolutely gorgeous in RL (not as gorgeous as SLB himself though)... my best friend loves him (note I say "loves" and not loved... LOL....

Andrea - glad your furbaby is better now... enjoy camping.. (you're always camping.. LOL).

Keli - (((big hugs to you too)))

Love and luck to everyone going thru the process... and those enjoying their matches... (Lauren, Daisy sounds adorable)... what a wonderful time for you... enjoy every moment.

Cxx


----------



## Emcon

Hi all

Sorry I haven’t posted for a few days, been logging on and reading what you are all up to, have held back posting as I want to moan and I know how I felt when other have been matched or people announce they are pregnant you are very pleased for them but you get that awful feeling in the pit of your tummy of “when will it be my turn!!”

I am going to keep moan to a minimum, having been given all our dates for matching panel and meeting our new daughter (who I am going to call Molly because if we had had another child of our own that was the name my son wanted to call her!) we were told on Friday that due to holiday we will have to be put back two weeks, I know it is only 14 days and others have experiences far longer delays but I was very upset, pulled myself together since as it will actually be better for my son, he will have had longer at school to settle into his new class and she should move in a few days before October half term which again I think will probably be better for us as a family.  So again sorry to moan!!!

Andrea - Glad to hear fur baby is a lot better

Jo - sorry they are delaying you, it is a stressful enough process without being kept hanging on a string.

Barbarella - glad you are feeling a little better, the wait is a real killer, I drove myself insane constantly checking my ansa phone, email and mobile - I hope you get that all important call sooner rather than later.

Laine - here’s hoping you get a call soon too!

Alex - here’s hoping you too get a call soon, really sorry to hear about your friend, I too lost someone a couple of weeks ago from the dreaded C, but he was in his late seventies and at least had lived a full life so the funeral was a real celebration of his life, I always find it harder when I feel peoples lives have been cut short in their prime although I am not lessening how hard it is to lose anyone whatever their age.

Welshy - I hope you hear back about your CRB soon. 

Keli - sorry they seem to be making you jump through all kinds of different hoops at the moment, the delay is devastating but hopefully the time will pass quickly for you, in regards to the fence as everyone else has said shop around it may be cheaper to pay someone else to put it up sometimes because they buy the materials in bulk it works out cheaper to pay them to supply and erect a fence.

Magenta - I am praying you get that all important call soon, the waiting is a real killer!

Cindy - thanks for you kind words, I know you are right, Molly was 1 yesterday and I was dreading it but I took my son out for the day and we had a fab time so I felt we celebrated it in our own way.

Lauren - I am soooo jealous all we have are some very poor photocopy pictures of Molly, and they are really worn already, Daisy sounds lovely.

Andrea - I do not blame you for hoping they are pregnant again, I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you that they are.

Karen - you remind me of super woman, I do not know how you fit in everything you do!  Congrats on passing your exam, really glad to hear your dad is home and on the mend.

Sorry to all those I have missed, I am at work and have spent ages scrolling through so as not to miss anyone out, but I really must to some work now.  You are all in my thoughts.

Em


----------



## jilldill

Hi Everyone,
Just a quick hello before I go on holiday tomorrow. This has possibly been the most stressful lead up to a trip with the situation today, I have watched the news since 8.00 am, now I feel like a coiled spring. But thank God for the security that's going on as the alternative doesn't bear thinking of.
Take care all speak in 2 weeks
Love JD xx


----------



## Jo

Have a great hol Jilldill  

Hope you are not hanging around too long tomorrow, but I am sure when you get there it will all be worth it 

Yes thank god for all the security, thats what I say to !! 

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## naoise

Hi girls, what about today then what a fiasco my sister and her family were supposed to visit for the weekend and they have been cancelled until next week, we were so disappointed. I think delay must be our middle name at the minute

Jilldill have a great holiday, and hope you are not delayed too much.

Emcom sorry to hear of your delay I hope the time goes quickly.

C I hope things are going to get better for you soon.

Jo I hope that the ss realise that you ae well enough to be a mum, it is really annoying that we have to prove ourselves time and time again.

Andrea thanks for the hug it has helped, I have heard your news and am hoping and fingers are crossed that maybe your dd may have a sibling on the way. I may have to pm you soon about the whole concurrency thing as the ss manager has put the fear of God into me. 

Melanie Good luck for your first home visit.

Hope all is well with everyone.

LOL Keli


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Alex - sorry to hear the sad news about your friend.

Jan - hope you get your CRB's back soon.

Keli - sorry to hear your panel date has been changed.  Try not to let it get on top of you, the time will soon come round.  Sorry to hear your sister can't make it to see you.

Lauren - glad you are enjoying the visits to see Daisy.

Melanie - good luck with the home visit, let us know how you get on.

Andrea - enjoy the camping.  Glad to hear your fur baby is recovering well.

Jo - I am sure the neurologist will support you, especially if you have the support of your GP?  As for IVF, did they give you any indication about the other issues concerning your IVF attempts?  Stay positive  

Em - I can understand how upset you feel about the delay but as you said it is only 14 days; and we all know how quickly that goes.  

Jill - enjoy your holiday, I'm sure you will  

Hi to everyone else.

Laine


----------



## fiona1

Jo - That's a wee bit concerning, considering we have has 12 IVF goes.

I spoke to the SW who is visiting on the 18th to ask why the rush to see us before th24th (thinking the prep course was starting) he sai he is leaving on the 24th!!!!

Why do 1 visit then leave?? i asked about the prep course and he said they have no dates yet but are planning for Oct time. More waiting, i should be use to it by now.

I'm not posting much at the mo as i am having to use the computer at the gym, but will pop on as and when

Fiona


----------



## Boomerang girl

hi fiona- in your (our) area the person who does the initial visit is not usually the sw you would get for the home study so don't panic this is just to have an in depth discussion and then you will go on the prep course. after that you will be assigned your home study sw. is the concurrency prep the same as for everyone else? i am pretty certain there is a general one on then (I have my contacts!)


----------



## casey

Hi grils 
i just wanted to introduce myself as a lurker and potential poster. I have just sent e-mails to several nearby LA's to make enquiries regarding adoption or permanent fostering. I have a feeling they will tell us to come back later in the year as i had BFN in June 06. I do have frosties in Spain but not very hopeful and i am sure that we won't be going thru any more tx. I am also a s/w and have very good idea whats involved and where  we need to be mentally to be considering or considered for adoption - but we'll see    
anyway i'll go back to lurking again until i have more to say 
bye for now
caseyxxxx


----------



## Boomerang girl

welcome casey! so sorry about the bfn but great news you are now wanting to be an adoptive mummy! highly recommend it. so glad for everything we went through as if we hadn't we wouldn't have our wonderful dear daughter
xx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi all,

just back from a few days away, and have had to spend almost on hour catching up! What with the server being down as well as beign away! Anyway:

Alex, so sorry to hear about your friend. And hope you hear some good news on the matching front soon too.

Karen, congrats on passing the exams.

Lauren and Emcon, congrats on the recent matching....so excitied for you!

Magenta, the waiting is a killer.....it was almost a year to the day between panel and meeting Boo. But we're just back from spending some time with my family in dublin, and it was great to be able to finally introduce him. And his toy boxes (note the plural) are now totally overflowing! All the bad stuff is a distant and very faint memory.

KJ, glad to hear your situation is looking brighter.

Andrea, don't feel guilty about wishing you DD BM pregnant. I've had the same thoughts about Boo's BM, although his SW seems to think it's unlikley. AND if it does happen they will get a chance to take care of him/her as they may treat them differently.....can't believe that! Can't have the rights of the parents overshadowed by the rights of the child not to have its bones broken!  

Cindy and PBM......can't believe the timing of the server breakin. Like yourselves i had waited to make note of the meeting arrangements until late, and then didn't know what to do! Will try to be more organised for the next meet.

As for us....we had a great time back in Dublin. Boo got to meet his cousins and they got on like a house on fire. Its made me really homesick though. None of my friends over here have any children, and all of them at home do. I really miss my dad as well, and my sister. Will have to start thinking about if/how we could move there. Although not sure how it would affect any further expansion of the fmaily.....not much scope for adoption over there. Ho-hum.....

must stop moaning.....hope everyone else is well,
xxxruthie


----------



## fiona1

Boomer,

Thanks for your reply. I have been told that it is a general prep course. Life is a bit manic at the moment we got our new house today and will move in over the next 2 weeks, (have to return to Guernsey 1st to finish packing) if we are nearish to each other and you fancy meeting up let me know. Elliot would love to have a pal to play with. 

I think i will have to remove his photo and name soon to keep my ID unknown, what do the rest of you think, with concurrency i will get to meet the BP 3x weekly for contact at the family centre, but i feel i should keep Elliots ID and my town etc private. 

Hi to everyone else. I hate not having a computer, i am only managing to get on every other day, but i am following all your stories.
Take care

Fiona


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi everyone, back off my hols and lots of messages to catch up on.  It is 1am and I am still awake - must be mad.  New kitten moved out while I was away and has vanished.  Lost notices posted but no response so far.

Laine - we have been approved for 3 months now and heard nothing yet, although our Form F has been taken up by some sw but nothing seems to have come of that.

Hugs to those that need them.


----------



## Boomerang girl

fiona i am about 10 - 15 mins away by car!!- and your inbox is full again!


----------



## superal

Hi all

Got 2 minutes to try to type some quick messages as you want to see the amount of washing I have got to do from our camping trip.

Fiona - with out a doubt PLEASE change your ID name & take Elliot's picture away from your profile, not that we don't like looking at him BUT yes you do need to keep these things private, especially when you are doing concurrency.  There will be times when Elliot has to go with you & BPS are not stupid they have ways of finding things out!!

Jennifer - Sorry to hear about the kitten, I hope you find it soon, they are like part of the family.

Hello to everyone else, will catch up more later.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Lauren

Hi everyone,

Jennifer - aww I really hope you find your little kitten soon.  I'm sure he/she will get hungry and come home soon.

Andrea - hope your camping trip wasn't too wet and good luck with the washing!

Fiona - good luck with the house move.  Hope its not too hectic.

Ruthie - it must have been wonderful to take Boo to Dublin to meet all your family.  Glad you all had a great time.  As a matter of interest, how long did you sw advise you to wait until you took Boo away from home for a night?

Casey - so sorry to hear about your BFN.  Big welcome to the adoption thread, you will find so much support here and as Boomer has said when you finally get there with adoption and you meet your little one it really is the best feeling in the world.

Keli - hope your sister and her family make it over for their visit soon.

Emcon - I totally understand your frustrations at having to wait another 2 weeks.  When you get this close you just want it to happen straight away.  We are sitting about waiting now purely cos Daisy's sw is on holiday for 2 weeks.  Although it has given me some extra time to get organised and it is only 2 weeks out of her whole life, I am still so impatient and I just want her with me now!  At least we are being able to go and see her once a week until intros.  Time will fly for you I'm sure and before you know it you will have Molly home with you.

Jo - hows things going with you?  Have you heard any more from your LA?  I really cannot understand the problem with you having so many ivfs - surely that just sures how determined you are to have a family.

C - hope you are feeling ok - big hugs to you.

Hi and lots of love to everyone else and wishing all those who are waiting that you hear very, very soon about your little ones.

Lauren xxx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi Lauren,

waiting to go away was never mentioned, although i think boomer was advised not to go away for 6 months i think....i'm sure she'll reply. 

Poor boo's eczema has come up again, and i have to say i think it is definately stress related. It started coming up at the end of our week away last time too. He's on antibiotics and stronger creams now. We hadn't planned on going away again till the end of october, but will definately not now we think we've worked out whats setting him off. Its funny cos he's not visably stressed at all (quite the opposite), but his skin seems to act as a barometer for him. 

better get back....cuddles on the sofa in front of cbeebies for us this afternoon,
xxxruthie


----------



## fiona1

Superal - I will change my profile once the ball is rolling,

Boomer - Sorry i have emptied my messages

Fiona
[br]: 15/08/06, 23:12Kelli,

We have our initial visit this friday, so right at the begiunning. I will let you know how we get on, must rush as not on my computer.

Fiona


----------



## KarenM

Hi Everyone

Melanie - good luck for your first home visit

Andrea - hope you had a good camping trip.  We're not going as is the tradition this bank holiday.  If you stop at any ghood sites please let me know as we normally go twice a year.

Jo - Hope you get some news on your application soon.  Have they congfirmed they are doing medicals first?  Haven't heard that the number of treatments affects your application, that's a new one on me

Em - sorry to hear about the delays, but a least you can see some positives in it.

Casey - its nice to see adoption from an SW's point of view both in terms of processing the application but going through it themselves.  Welcome and I hope you can progress soon. Can you adopt through the LA you work with?

Ruthie - Great to hear that Boo is getting on well with his cousins.  

Fiona - good luck for the move.  Still maintain moving house is one of the most stressful things I've done.

Jenny - sorry to hear the kitten has gone.  Any news on it?

Not much to report here.  My dad had an operation last week which has been a success (well so far it has, touch wood for some longevity with this one)  When they did his major op last year they scratched his vocal chords and damaged his voice.  So he can now talk again alot better than he has been able to for the last 7 months.

My youngest is now dry by day but still in nappies at night and eldest is dry at night.  So will be glad to see the cost savings on nappies.  They have both recently progressed up tio the next stage rooms at nursery and eldest starts school next September.  Can't believe where time goes.

Need to go and do the Tesco order.

Hi to everyone I've not mentioned.

Love
Karen x


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi All,

Just a quick hello. i have finished work for 2 weeks, yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. So lots of mummy time with Pooh Bear. It is his birthday soon so just planning his party. 

Sent of intrest form to LA for adoption number 2 but not heard back from them yet, so may give them a call tomorrow.

We are off to the solicitors in the morning to exchange contracts on our new house, but we can't move till we have sold our holiday cottage, so if you know anyone who is in the market for a fantastic one bed holiday cottage near the lake district give me a pm and i can give you the details, we are very sad to be selling but now we have pooh bear we need a bigger house to live in so the holiday cottage has to go.

If anyone is interested in a meet, me and Cindy are hoping to plan something up north eg: Manchester/Cheshire so just pm me and we can start making some plans.

TTFN

PBMxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Jo

Hi Everyone
Just a quickie to say we have signed the consent forms to say they can look into my medical records about the M.S, they say as soon as they have that we will be back up there to talk it all over 

I won't take this lying down, i will fight if they don't except us   

hi to everyone, now the site is getting back to normal I will be back up to speed again, and read whats been going on here  

Love and hugs to all
Jo
x  xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Karen - Hope your dad continues to be well.  He has had a really tough time over the last 12 months.  Well done on all those dry times with your children.  My son is still not dry at night despite being 5 1/2 but everything else about him is great so cannot complain.  Spent an hour tonight walking around the park at the back of our house looking for kitten as he has been gone a week now.  Spoke to lots of children who all knew my kitten as he went there a lot apparently.  Put up more lost posters as last ones ripped down by people - grrr.  Seems someone took him away as people decided he was a stray!  He was wearing a gold collar so obviously not a stray - why can't people leave kittens alone.  Any way some good news is that kitten's mum cat has had another litter of kittens (first lot of kittens only 16 weeks!) and I have been promised one of those at the end of next week if no sign of first kitten.

Jo - hope all goes well when your records are looked at.

PBM - enjoy planning the party.  It was my birthday last week.

Ruthie - sorry to hear the excema is back again.  Poor little mite.  My son's flared up recently as well but we have been away on holiday and it does affect them, the change in routine.

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## lettuce

Hello everyone.

I have been away for so long I don't know where to start so just say hi to you all and hope you are all well at what ever stage you are at that it is going well.

We have now had our initial visit and have received the letter to say they would like us to proceed. So are busy filling out our CRB forms and personel references and we go to the office next week to hand them over and preset our ID,s.

Hopefully we will be able to go on Januarys prep course fingers crossed.

Best wishes to you all

Lettuce


----------



## Boomerang girl

Hiya- lauren we were told you should wait a minimum of three months before spending a night away from home so the child has the chance to really settle. then after that start with perhaps a very short break with all of you somewhere close to home so you can come back if you need to. we are planning a short break in a caravan at the coast in sept, which will be 4 months. they also say wait six months for a longer break, or moving house. I think it would certainly be a long time before strawb stays with her grandparents for the night too. at least a year.

we are planning to have my god-daughter, who is four, stay the night with us just before christmas. dd will love it and it will give her the idea you can stay at friends sometimes.  She has settled incredibly well but as she is still a toddler and her language isn't fully developed it would be hard for her to verbalise any worries properly so prob best we wait. 

in contrast though, I know ruthie's LA don't have a prob, so maybe our LA is just over cautious? they are general rules too, so need to apply to children who might have had lots of moves (which dd hasn't) and older children.  dd would prob be fine, it will be nice to go away in sept, TBH my biggest worry is she is still happily in her cot bed! we are buying her a my first ready bed, but she will prob end up in with us!


----------



## Viva

Hey everyone, 

Thought it was time I had a good old catch up as I am on holiday for a couple of weeks...off to France on Saturday and can't wait. Have also had some good news, both the LA's we've had initial interview's with have accepted us for the next stage and we've decided on who we are going with, they were really organised and prompt in getting back to us. Will now have to wait 3-4 months to apply formally and start HS (prep course takes place during HS) but we feel as though we're finally getting somewhere, although continued patience is called for...I guess I'd better get used to it!

Lettace...it seems we're at about the same stage although our LA doesn't seem to start with medicals etc..will be good to see how you get on.

Karen, hope all is still well with your dad and also good to hear that your littlies are doing so well with their potty training.

Ruthie, good to hear you had a good time in Dublin, it's tough being away from family I find and mine are nowhere near as far away as yours. Hope Boo's eczema is improving.

Casey, welcome, I'm still quite new here myself but have found everyone to be really friendly and helpful.

Mel, good to hear that you've started your HS, you're one step further along the road.

Laine, I also say your profile in adoption UK, you're a star these forums are such a lifeline

Alex, was sad to hear about your friend, so young, sending you a  

Lauren, lovely to hear your stories about Daisy, you must be counting down the days

Barbarella, how are you? It's so easy to get completely focused on adoption isn't it? I tend to swing between thinking about little else and then losing myself in other things. How's your DIY going and have you booked your exotic holiday yet?

Jo, hope you will hear some good news soon, I guess it's positive that your LA is considering you

Magenta, family gatherings and baby shower's...not the easiest to deal with (I've just emerged from a weekend of them...my DS is due with her first in just over a week!) hope that you'll have some positive news to tell them soon

Jilldill, hopefully by now you're safely in Brazil, have a fab time and tell us all about it when you get back!

Keli, I do feel for you...it does seem to be one thing after the other...hopefully it won't be too long know until we are celebrating your success at panel...until then come and rant whenever the need takes you!

Boomer, I'm sure your DD is going to have the best party this year and hopefully it won't be long before you have her adoption to celebrate too!

Fiona, all the best for your initial visit...

PBM, hope you have some fabulous relaxing time off and that you house moving plans are progressing well!

Jan, hope you dad is feeling more positive...sounds like things are slowly progressing for you too which is great.

Superal, hope you had a great time camping! And I certainly understand why you are hoping and dreaming about your DD's BM.

Jennifer, good that you can go ahead and contact your consortium...has your kitten come home yet? I'm dreadful if anything happens to my fluffy babies!

Em, sorry to hear about your delay...hopefully it will give your son the time he needs to settle in at school though! It won't be so long before your family expands!

Cindy and Kimmy...hello, I hope you're both well!

That's all from me for now folks...
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## Boomerang girl

we just got our adoption court date!!!!!! it is when my parents are over from australia which is just amazing its in october
x


----------



## Viva

That's great news Boomer!


----------



## Lauren

Great news Boomer on getting your Court date and what a bonus that your parents will be over to celebrate with you!

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


----------



## Boomerang girl

i know we are so lucky! the sws actually decided to push everything through and prioritise us on paperwork so we could have the christening when mum and dad are here so actually getting the court date two days before the christening is a bonus now they will really be part of things


----------



## KarenM

Great News Boomer.  Glad they have managed to sort everything for when your Mum and Dad are here.  Hope you have a wonderful celebration with them 

Karen x


----------



## Nats

Hi guys

I will try and remember as many personals as possible!

Fab news Boomer, what a wonderful Xmas you will all be having, how great that your parents will be over here. I bet you will be taking lots of photos that day!

Viva - Great news from you too, every little step is a step int he right direction. Hope you have a lovely holiday and enjoy yourself.

Lettuce- great news things are moving along nicely with you too. You will be starting those prep groups in no time at all.

Jennifer F - Happy birthday for last week. I was sad to hear of the lose of your kitten and can only hope that maybe it will turn up and suprise you!. Hope you hear something soon.

Jo - Hope you get some good news from them soon..we are all rooting for you! and I have all my fingers and toes crossed!

PBM - Great to hear from you, sadly we cant afford to purchase a holiday home but i wish you all the best with finding a purchaser and on the purchase of a lovely new house to accomodate PB and all his bits and bobs!. Hope you hear from the LA soon aswell.

Karen - Lovely to hear that your dads operation went well and he is doing well. My dad recently had 2 of his arteries unblocked, they had warned him he might need a heart bypass as he was in quite a bad way, luckily he seems to have made a great recovery and is now trying to behave like an 18 year old again!, i think he must be having the second phase of his midlife crisis!

Fiona - wish you loads of luck with your neeting tomorrow, hope it all goes well and you are feeling positive about everything.

Superal - Hope everything is ok and your family are well.

Lauren - fab news on the match, i bet you are both on cloud 9 still. I still am and snugs has been with us for 9 weeks!, it wont be long before you have your family.

Ruthie - glad you had a great time in Dublin. Snugs met his cousins for the first time 2 weeks ago and he loved playing with them and of course made the most of having 4 kids running after him too!. I bet you feel like Boo has been there forever, but in  a nice way of course!

Hi to anyone else I have missed, its been ages since i last got on here.

Snugs is really settled and i love him to bits, sometimes he does silly things that I shouldnt laugh at but he makes me laugh so easily. he is very content and has suddenly turned into a cuddly little chap. Wore him out at an indoor play centre today which I think we both enjoyed!.
We have had our review and it was agreed that we can put our papers into the court to legally adopt him so they will be going off in the next week or so. Some days I still look at him and think how lucky we are, I never knew i could love him so much so quickly.
Off swimming tomorrow so I must go and get things ready as it means an early start, im so used to taking my time getting me, snugs and the dog sorted every morning.

Hope we can all get together soon for a meet, I cant wait to meet everyone!

Natsxx


----------



## Jo

Nats
Its lovely to hear your update, you sound so happy, I am so pleased for you  

Boomer that is wonderful , and to have it when your parents are here....Fantastic !!!!  

Karen Glad you dads op went well, wishing him a speedy recovery 

Lauren Great news on the amtch !!!, you will soon be a family  

Fiona Good Luck for tomorrow, let us know how it all goes 

Congratulations to everyone that is moving on through this adoption road, albeit maybe small steps, they are all in the right direction 

Hi to everyone else.

Take care everyone
Love Jo
x x x


----------



## alex28

Boomer - what fab news!!!!!! hope you have a fab day and christening too!

Nats - nice to hear from you and am glad that snugs has settled in well and you can get onto the formal adoption. 

love to everyone else waiting etc. xx


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi All,

Boomer, soooooooooo happy for you that all your plans and special dates coincide with your parents being over.


Nat's, great to hear from you. Snugs sounds so sweet, a happy little boy. I am hoping to meet up again soon so i will e mail you for a chat.

Booked the room today for Pooh bears birthday party, yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I am hoping for nice weather as we have a bouncy castle outside, but if it like today wet wet wet we will have to have indoor fun like pass the parcel and musical bumps, hee,hee.

Viva - Great news, one step closer. Hope you have a lovely holiday.

Lettuce- great news. Prep group will be here before you know it.

Jennifer F - Have you found your kitten hun?

Jo - Hope you get some good news soon. I am thinking of you.

Karen - So glad to hear that your dads operation went well and he is on the mend. Thanks for the PM.x

Fiona - Hope your meeting has gone well.

Lauren - Brill news about the match? How is it all going.

Ruthie - Dublin sounds fab and showing off Boo to all his family must have been great.

Cindy, how are you hun, did you get my PM?

To all I have not mentioned, good luck what ever stage you are at?


Love and Hugs

PBMxxxxx


----------



## melaniejhodson

Hi everyone

We've had our first home visit, so far so good.  Our social worker is really nice and friendly and she's hoping to get us to panel by end of March 07!


----------



## cindyp

Sorry Girls,

Won't be doing loads of personal messages.  It is 1.50 in the morning and I should really be in bed but I've got a touch of insomnia.  We've had different house guests all week since we got back from the seaside so it's been really manic and won't end until after the BH.

Just like to say

Boomer good knews about the Christening.

Nats, great to read things are going so well with Snugs.

Will catch up with everyone else when things have quietened down.

Take care all.
Cindy


----------



## fiona1

A real quickie - thanks for asking about our visit, but it was cancelled until next friday  

Stay cool, i guess we need to get use to the waiting.

Boomer - Fab news on the court date and your parents

Will be back online next week

Take care all

Fiona


----------



## Jo

Fiona
Sorry that your visit has been delayed , Good Luck for next Friday  I agree, think we have to get use to all the waiting around, but I am so sure it will all be worth it  

melaniejhodson - Nice to see things are moving for you, March isn't that far away  

PBM - Bet it is lovely planning childrens parties , sounds like you are all going to have loads of fun   


Hi to everyone, hope you are all enjoying your weekends  

We had a invite to an adoption information evening at the LA we are with yesterday 
Don't really understand that as we have already seen them and said we want to go with them as long as they except us.
I have emailed them, but the SS is on hols until 4th Sept !!!! 

All I can think is that we saw them before all this was planned, so maybe they just think its a good idea if we go along , we are going, just to chivvy them along if not anything else   

Take care everyone
Love Jo
x x x


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Boomer - great news!

Jo - hope you hear soon about being accepted.  Keeping everything crossed for you. 

Melanie - glad you enjoyed the first visit.

Jennifer - so sad to read about your kitten ((((hugs))).  

Karen - glad your dad is on the mend and his op went ok.

Fiona - sorry to hear about your visit being cancelled.

Nats - nice to hear how you are getting on.

PBM - hope the party is good.

Viva - three months should fly by and you will be on your way.

Casey - welcome to the thread.

Hi to anyone I missed.

Laine


----------



## alex28

what a nightmare evening i have had!!!

I was driving back from MIL for sunday roast this evening and to cut a long story short my car caught fire!!!!    , anyway called the Fire Brigade and it has taken them over 2 hours to put it out, the road was closed, houses nearly had to be evacuated as its a gas converted Range Rover and the tanks could blow etc - anyway 1/2 hour after it happened DH drove by as he left his parents later than i did and said "what the hell have you done?" moi nothing, its his bloody vehicle but i just happened to be driving it!!!  anyway just called insurance company who are going to sort it all out tomorrow.  It was quite scary really flames everywhere, i just jumped out and left it!!!!!

still shaking now after one cup of tea... time for some whisky me thinks!!


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

OMG!!! Alex,

That must have been such a shock. The main thing is you are ok.

Hope the wiskey has helped.

TTFN

PBMxx


----------



## superal

Alex

I really hope you are OK and the whiskey helped to clam your nerves.

That's a typical DH thing to say......."what you've done", I get that all the time of my DH, as he is a   and a traffic one at that, of course it's always my fault!

The main thing is you are OK and cars can be replaced!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## keemjay

oh my word alex, what a terrible thing to have happened to you, you poor thing, hope your nerves have calmed now  lol at dh's comment, like you would actually have done something to make it happen  was really sorry to hear about your friend..hope the funeral went/goes ok

sorry i've been a bit AWOL, nothing much going on our end till last Thurs when we had a 3hr training session with an expert to do with the 'issue' with dh's uncle. it was heavy going but interesting and informative. we now know lots more about how 'certain' offenders operate and their motivations etc.. it was good to get away from the hysterical ,media type info that unfortunately we are all fed regularly, and get down to the actual facts. we are now armed with as much info as possible and will hopefully be able to answer questions that come up at panel and convince them that we understand the risks but can manage them. we feel that its definitely a manageable situation, we just have to convince the powers that be....we have a few issues with dh's family and their perception of the situation which is making it all a bit stressful but we are just hoping that eventually they will understand. generally we feel a lot more positive about the situation and knowing that ss are supporting us and happy to take us to panel. surely thery wouldnt caryy on if they didnt think we had a good chance?
loads of our friends have sent supporting letters in so hopefully that will help too. panel is now 12th Oct and I'm finally feeling like facing up to the reading/preparation/making family bk etc. we have a session with our SW this avo to discuss thursdays training and how we feel about what we learned.

ONWARD!

Karen, glad to hear things with your Dad are much improved, what a lot he, and all of you  have had to deal with

Jo,sorry to hear that things are going sloooowly for you. i have never heard that 'too' many IVF goes is an issue  i would def go to the open evening, after all you have been invited  def a good chance to chat to people and get your face known/make an impression. you may get a chance to talk to different sw's who may have different opinions/info

jennifer, sorry to hear about kitten  any news?

boomer - how fab to get your court date for when your parents are here  it will be such a special day for you all

nats, lovely to hear how snugs is doing,sounds like he's settled in really well 

PBM, have fun planning poohs' party, bouncy castle sounds fun, hope the weather is nice and 

melanie glad your first visit went ok, its a relief to meet your sw and find them nice and friendly! we really like ours, although we have had a huge issue/hiccup with things just recently, it was not her fault at all and she has remained utterly professional throughout. it will be her line manager, (who was meant to be closely supervising her) who will get the sharp end of my tongue/pen when we get round to complaning (once panel is out of the way)

keli- sorry about panel being moved, how frustrating  i keep expecting a call to says ours have shifted again, nothing seems to be going smoothly for us...

Lauren and Emcon, any news on Molly and Daisy?

love to anyone I've missed 

kj x


----------



## Lauren

OMG Alex!  What a horrendous thing to happen to you!  I hope you have calmed down by now!  Your dh is certainly a typical man with a comment like that!  LOL!

KJ - glad things are looking so much more positive for you and that you now feel able to move forwards with your preparation, etc.  As you said I am sure there is no way sw would put you forward for panel if she didn't think there was any chance of you being approved.  Good luck with everything and your panel date really isn't that far off now.

Jo - adoption evening definately sounds like a good opportunity to try and move things along, if nothing else.  Hope it all goes well.

Fiona - sorry to hear your meeting was cancelled.  I remember our very first meeting with SS was cancelled the day before we were due to go and I just thought "oh god is this the way it is going to be from here on" but in actual fact we were lucky in that that was the only hiccup we really had.  Hopefully you will be well on your way soon.  Good luck on Friday.

Melanie - glad your first meeting with sw went well.  That is half the battle, having a lovely sw who you get along with.

Viva - glad things are moving along for you now.

Karen - hope things are ok with your Dad and he continues to improve.

To all those waiting - fingers crossed that news of your little ones is only just around the corner.

And to all those Mums - its so great to hear all your little snippets about your children!

We're off to see Daisy again tomorrow and then our intros start properly next Wednesday.  Its all a bit debatable at the moment as to how long intros will last as our sw wants her placed within a few days and dd's sw wants to do a full 11 days of intros!  I presume we will agree somewhere in the middle.

Lots of love
Lauren xxx
Sorry I haven't managed to do personals to everyone


----------



## KarenM

OMG Alex - How scary.  Hope the whisky settled your nerves and you are on your way to sortng things out with the insurance company.

Lauren - Have a lovely time with Daisy again tomorrow.

Nats - glad to hear Snugs is settling in well.

PBM - Have a great time organising the party.

Mel - well done on getting the first visit done and great news on having a panel date

KJ - glad you enjoyed the course and good luck for 12 October.  

Not much going on here.  We have been decorating our bedroom now for the last 6 months (just the standard stripping of wallpaper and repaint job) but it takes 10 times longer with the kids around.  We've got Friday and Tuesday off whilst they will go to nursery and then the in laws are having them on Saturday so we should get it done which will be such a relief as I am totally out of my comfort zone when my house looks like this!!

Hi to everyone else

Karen x


----------



## alex28

Hi Karen - we too are in the process of decorating our 3rd bedroom , we had to have the professionals in to fill holes (no wonder previous owners used anaglypta!!!), then sand, then line, then paint, but its loking much much better now!, hve put a spare wardrobe in there this evening, new carpet going down in a few weeks along with hall, stairs and landing one too, then one wall to paint in 2nd bedroom and thats it - all done phew!! cant wait, we wanted to prepared as the last thing we want to be doing when matched is painting and mad panic!!!!  

insurance co called re the car and asked a few questions, and said they would send paperwork off in the post, subject to all being in order with taxc, mot etc then they would send a cheque, out of interest never having a car written off before anyone know how they value what you get?  Not many cars are gas coverted so not sure the insurers know the true value but it tends to be about 2k over normal market value so i suppose we would have to prove this somehow?? we have the receipt from last year when we got the car so this may help i suppose - any insurance experts out there?  

Lauren - glad to hear intros are going wel - betcha cant wait to get her home!!!

KJ - glad you have some more info to be able to move forward albeit slowly. 

well my ironing board is calling so night night all. xxx


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi

Just a quickie from me. Phoned SS today to chase up application for No2, to be told it has not been allocated yet? So will have to wait a bit longer. Still busy getting ready for pooh bears party next week. Booked the room, ordered the party bags and candles etc off ebay. Mum is making a cake, a train. Off up to mums over night tomorrow so will catch up with all your news on Wednesday.

TTFN

PBMxxxxxxx


----------



## wynnster

Hi Everyone

This is a really really quick post - sorry will do proper personals soon (promise   )

Had the initial meet yesterday and was totally put at ease straight away, lovely lady and made us feel able to talk everything through no problem, she left saying that she'll get back to us and let us know if they'll accept us.
Then she called today to say they'd love to take us on and that she's sending us a Fact Pack in the post with all the CRB forms etc in to complete and return  

We're so chuffed to have got this far already   She confirmed that Moving will not delay anything at this stage and that it sounds a great time to move and have a fresh start   

Alex - I work for an insurance company but only on admin side, I will have a look into this for you though and see what i can find out  
For the time being though have you seen any like vehicles for sale? (with the conversion) as you will need these as 'evidence' of proving your vehicles value when it comes to proving your vehicle is worth more than they're offering, thats assuming they offer you a low amount of course  

Kim xxxx


----------



## alex28

oh thanks Kimmy - i have been on autotrader and printing off similar cars for proof.  Luckily DH has an alternative choice of cars to use - he loves his cars bless him! - so we can afford to hold out for the right amount.  

great news for being taken on - one  small step on the ladder for you then!!


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi everyone,

Heard nothing at all from sw.  This is certainly stressful time - only been 3 months of waiting to be matched but it seems forever and people keep asking "any news" which makes the waiting seem even longer  

It is dh's birthday today so he has got the day off and we are all going to the cinema to see "Cars" as ds is off school for summer holidays.

After the cinema this afternoon, we are going to collect a new kitten as no sign at all of my last one (despite putting up loads of posters) and he has been gone 2 weeks now.    This new kitten is grey with white feet.  He/she is the brother/sister of my last kitten as his mum has had another litter!  Last kitten would have been 17 weeks old and new kitten will be 6 weeks old.  Nice that both kittens are related.  I envy mum cat her fertility but hope her owners get her done now as 12 kittens is quite enough and she is only 18 months old herself poor thing.

Alex - what a dreadfully scary thing to happen to you.  Thank goodness you were ok.

Karen - hope the decorating is going well.  We are moving ds into bigger room this weekend.  He has had his new room decorated with spiderman curtains + lampshade + bedding, got it off ebay but still cost a fortune as proper Marvel ones.

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## cindyp

At last, a few moments to myself.  We're in between house guests and Junior is having a nap so I can catch up with the gossip.

Jennifer, it is so frustrating this waiting game.  We've been asked when we'll get No 2 and we haven't even gone to panel yet.  It is so difficult to explain to other people sometimes.  I think the problem is that Social Services are trying to match to three people, ie a family, not just a couple so there is more to take into consideration, hang in there.  Sorry to hear that your kitten never turned up, I don't have any pets but my Mum and Dad lost their cat after 2 years.  Enjoy DH's birthday, Junior would love to watch Cars but he's a bit too young for the cinema and would fidget too much, and collecting your new addition who sounds really cute. 

Kimmy, great news, you're on the move now in more ways than one.   

PBM, keeping the fingers crossed for sunny weather, sent you a PM.

Alex, sorry to hear about the car, my Dad reacted exactly the same way to my Mum when their car was broken into in a car park.  Sensitive or what?  Hope you get it sorted out quickly.  Good luck with the decorating, we're taking the "work overtime pay someone else to do it" approach as we have a whole house to do and we're not very good ourselves.  Like you it's then carpets next and curtains.  We're looking for a new fireplace for the lounge today and are also planning to do an extension next summer although that will depend on the next adoption.

Karen, enjoy the decorating, sent you a PM.

Lauren, I'm sure you had a great day with Daisy.  Hope they've settled for a short bout of intros and it won't be long until you've got her home.

KJ, things sound a bit more positive, did you arrange for the expert or did the SWs arrange it for you.  Hopefully panel will use a bit of common sense and see that you cannot possibly be held responsible for DH's uncle and that you will make sure that he does not impact your new family.  As you say from the support your SW is trying to give you she obviously thinks that you should pass for approval.

Laine, I didn't see any news about yourself in your post, is all quiet at the moment?

Jo, you'll probably find it's some dozy admin error where they've sent the invites to everybody they've had an application from and not remembered to mark yours as having been seen.  I'm afraid my experiences have taught me that admin is not their strong point.  I still can't get over the fact that following our second application our referees were contacted before us.  In fact we never did receive a written acknowledgement of our application.  

Fiona, I'm afraid trying to stay cool is the norm with this process, Social Services are very good at being frustrating.

Andrea, how's the school holidays going?

Melanie, it's great when you have a nice SW, glad to hear you've kicked things off and it's not long till March.

Magenta, Barbarella, JD, Ruth, Emcon and everyone else I've missed, hope you are all well.

We've been fairly manic in the last three weeks.  We had a great time at the seaside, as ever in this country the weather was mixed   but Junior still enjoyed it.  Since then we've had family or friends staying every night but two so things have been rather busy.  (I've also put on about 8 pounds because of all the holiday eating and post holiday entertaining  ).  Junior has loved having visitors but we're going to have to have a conversation about the availability of new toys as every houseguest has brought him a present and he also had a present from our friends who've been on holiday.

Our SW is supposed to be writing up our Form F and interviewing our referees as our HS is completed.  She's on hols at the moment but hopefully it won't be long until she starts talking panel dates to us.

Have a great BH everyone, we've got DH's sister visting tonight for two day so yet more entertaining  

love
Cindy


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

been offline for a few days....puter problems. 

hope everyone is well. we're doing great. boo has now been dry and nappy free during the day for the last 3 days! Hurray! also just had a tantrum free day today! he such a sweetheart most of the time.

we're still waiting for his life story book and i don't want to go and meet with his FF till we have that and go through it....at least the photos of them anyway. To be honest i don't really want to go meet them at all....they really annoyed me during the intros, and things are going so well now woth him i don't want anythign to rock the boat. Anyone else here got any thoughts/stories to share on this point?

nothign else to report.....bedtime for boo now,
xxruthie


----------



## keemjay

hi all 

karen - have lovely weekend decorating, you will be relieved i bet when its all finished 

ruthie - hurray for boo's potty training  i've heard lots of tales of people waiting too long for their family bks - i cant understand why they get held up, its such an important part of the child. understand your reluctance about FF , maybe just try and tell yourslef it is for Boo and you it doesnt matter if you dont enjoy it yourself 

Cindy wow your life sounds manic with all your guests! hope your forms all get sorted soon. thank you for your supportive words. it was the sw's who organised the training for us, its something they would have had to pay for so thats another thing that makes me feel that they think we have a good chance 

jennifer - hope you all enjoyed Cars and new kitten has settled happily

Kimmy - glad your meeting went well and things seem to be speeding along for you  

Lauren - hope visit with Dasiy went well 

alex - any luck with your insurance claim yet?

well, still feeling quite postive this end. sw visit on mon went well, she is happy that we have done everything we can and now we just have to sit tight till panel. she's off to finish our form F and we will get it week of 11th sept before she pops off on hols for a week. so that feels just around the corner. I'm terrified at the thought of panel cos its going to be such a black and white thing..and they have been honest that it really could go either way...i know its the same for everyone but did anyone really feel like they might actually be turned down?? I'm trying to be really positive but every time i think of what will happen if they say no my heart falls into my boots again...
I'm cracking on with the family bk now, have had a huge spurt of inspiration so feeling good about that 

right doggy is whining for his walk - yesterday he ate a whole baby bunny bleurrrgh so we wont be going in that field today!

love to all

kj x


----------



## sanita

Hello everyone,

Sorry I've been missing for so long.  But I'd like to make amends and catch up with you all.

Ruthie - Why do they want you to meet with the FF?  If SS are insistent maybe you can make it a short visit, on neutral ground and keep it very low key with Boo, which may help not to rock the boat.

Cindy - You must be a great host.  I find having people to stay really hard work.

JenniferF - Hope you all enjoyed Cars and that the new kitten is settling in well.

alex - Love your DH's reaction to the car fire.  My DH is a traffic policeman too.  They are certainly a breed of their own.

Kimmy - Glad your meeting went well.  Looks like you have exciting times ahead if you are planning a move too.

KarenM - Hope you are progressing with the decorating and returing your house to it's normal order.

Lauren - Wishing you lots of luck with intros.


Keemjay - Glad to hear that things are progressing in the right direction for you and that SS have been supportive.

Jo - Who knows how SS minds work.  Might be a good idea to go the open evening anyway if only to remind them that you are still interested.

Fiona1 - Good luck with your visit tomorrow.

Melanie - Glad your first visit went well.  

Nats - Thanks for your lovely update.  Glad to hear how happy you all are.

Boomer - Excellent news about the Christening and the court date.  Isn't it nice when everything comes together?

We finished HS a couple of weeks ago, but unfortunately our SW is too busy to take us to panel until end of November.  We go on holiday next week for 3 weeks and when we get back I am starting a new job so hopefully November will soon come around.  So for now we wait and no doubt after panel we will have to get used to waiting a bit more.  Let's hope that the old saying is true "That all good things, come to those who wait".  

Sanita


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi everyone,

Dh had a good birthday yesterday, despite the torrential rain, thunder and lightning!  We went to an eat as much as you like Chinese restaurant for lunch and pigged out, then on to cinema to watch Cars which was excellent, although the rain set off the fire alarm and so we were almost evacuated from the cinema 3 times!  After the film we went to collect the new kitten who is absolutely beautiful (long furred grey with white chest, tummy and feet).  When we got home he cried so pitifully for his mum that I had to ask ds to give up his toy furry kitten to give to real kitten as a comforter.  He cries less now so that seemed to do the trick.  Kitten looks so cute curled up to toy in his bed.  New kitten is tiny and sits in the palm of my hand.

Cindy - nice to hear from you again.  Wow, you have been busy with all those guests.  Cars was good.  Ds was ready to go the cinema when he turned four and a half, before that he wouldn't sit still for long enough.  Then he went through a phase of being frightened by the loudness of it plus being in the dark but he loves it now (aged 5 year and 4 months).

Ruthie - well done on boo being dry.  It is such a milestone.  How annoying about the life story book wait.  I assumed it would turn up with the child as part of their belongings so I was amazed to find that FF might keep the book! 

Kj - I hope the baby rabbit was dead first before being eaten by your dog! My dog ate 3 baby birds that had fallen out of their nest in the winds.  I only found out when he sicked them up on the dining room carpet - intact but obviously very dead.  I hope they were dead before he ate them but don't know for sure.  He is a very friendly dog though so wouldn't think he ate them alive..... Hope all goes well for you at panel.  It is such a scary day.  I was very worried about being turned down at panel due to my weight but I had lost over a stone before going to panel and in the event my weight wasn't even mentioned either way!  SW had said it was a contensious issue and decision could go either way on the day.

Sanita - well done on finishing hs.  We had loads of delays going to panel too as our sw was too busy as well - grrrr.  We were supposed to be going in January but ended up going in May!

Hi to all I've missed.


----------



## saphy75

Hi sorry i have not posted for ages, but chunk keeps me very busy and we have been having serious sleep battles in this house (which i seem to be winning for now)  just wanted to say a quick hello to everyone and to share my excellent news (sorry me post again) we have been given a court date for the adoption to go ahead, it's on the 4th of october. we are so lucky everything has gone sooooo smoothly i just can't believe it and keep waiting for the bubble to burst. 

got to go as i have a million and one things to do

take care, pam xx


----------



## magenta

Saphy what wonderful news....sooooo pleased for you (and for winning the sleep wars )

magenta x
(still no news )


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

know what you mean about sleep wars saphy. we had a lot of trouble at the beginning, mostly our fault for not starting the routine we wanted from the beginnng. We thought it would be too stressful to have a routine as he was used to falling to sleep in front of TV at FF. But he falls to sleep himself now after a story, and if he does wake in the night mostly puts himself back to sleep. Was tough, and took 2 sleepless nights with him calling me from the other room all night, but has been totally worth it. We're all in much better moods having had full nights sleeps rather than being awake every hour as was the case at its worst.

we've no word on our court date. our next meeting is on the 27th of sept, so we'll hopefully know more then.

we've also been invited to attend a 9 week (just 2 hours a week)"parenting adopted chidren course". Can't help thinking its a bit of a bolting the stable door after horse has bolted given we've had boo for 3 months now??.....but am looking forward to it if only to get to meet some adopters that live in the area.

better go, someone needs a wee-wee!

xxruth


----------



## Jo

Hi Everyone 

Ruthie - well done on the potty training, sounds like you have it all under control 

Karen - Have a good weekend decorating, apartently you will be with thousands doing that this weekend  

Alex - Hope you sort out the car soon, glad you are ok 

Kimmy - Sounds like things are moving nicely for you 

Jennifer - sounds like DH had a nice birthday and your kitten sounds gorgeous  

Keemjay -  Sounds like things are going in the right direction for you, I am so pleased  

Pam - Great news on your court date, sounds like you are so happy, its so lovely to read your posts 

Magenta - Hope you get some good news soon 

Sanita - Pleased you have finished your HS, and I hope the time flies for you and November is soon here 

Laine - Hiya, hope you here something soon 

Hi to everyone else, things seem to be moving for so many, its lovely.

Paul and myself are training like mad for the Great South Run in October ,we are doing it for the M.S Society. I would love for the SS to come and see just how disabled I am when I am running for miles  , anyway thats enough of that 

Have a great weekend everyone, lovely to have an extra day off 

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## KarenM

Hi Girls

Sorry to bring the thread down when things sound so positive.  Just needed to let you know that I will not be around much.  

Have just got off the phone from my mum and have been told that my grandad has been given 2-3 days to live.  He lives a 3 hour drive away and given my dads health I am on standby to go at anytime.

I'm also on hols from 8th - 16th Sept.  I will post when I can and have asked for someone to caretake the board.  Hope to be back soon

Karen x


----------



## cindyp

Karen

So sorry to read your news, it is always so difficult to lose a loved one.  Hopefully you will still be able to get some rest and relaxation on your holiday.  Thinking of you doing this difficult time.

Cindy


----------



## Jo

Karen
I am so sorry to hear your sad news.
You take care of yourself.
I am sending you as much strength as I can right now.

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## alex28

Karen - sending you lots of love and hugs at this tough time.  Take care of you and yours.xxx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hey ladies

karen- you take all the time you need

just to let you know i shall be looking after your lovely ladies while karen is busy

if you need any changes doing to the list pls PM me with them

good luck to you all 

hugs

Mez
xxx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

just a quick msg to send Karen my best wishes, hope the next few days go as well as they can,

xxruth


----------



## superal

Karen

Sending you a big hug, we're in very similar positions over grandparents only they gave my Gran a 3- 6 month life span. I know exactly what you are going through and I hope you find the strength and courage to get through this difficult time.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Boomerang girl

hi all, strawb has finally come down off the ceiling following her birthday!

karen, so sorry to hear your news. thinking of you x

ruthie, we felt the same way about strawb's ff coming to visit but it is so important for the child to see that important people don't just disappear. it actually settled her even more than she had- she was very clingy to me when they first arrived, cried and didn't want to know. then after a while she was happy and played for an hour or two. when they went she gladly waved them off, and talked about them for a few days, i think it helped her appreciate the permanence of the situation, and she knows they are still out there and care, they haven't just abandoned her, and it isn't going to happen again. I hated every minute, but it was the best thing for strawb, try not to worry too much- but make sure it is at your house or nuetral, not going back to their house- boo belongs with you now and he needs that reinforced, so make sure you do any toilet trips etc when they are there too. best of luck  with it

boomer
x


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi 

Just a quick note to karren to say iam thinking of you.

PBMxxx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Everyone,
I am back from Brazil and can't quite take in all that's happened. We had been there 4 days when we got an emergency call from the UK to say DH's Dad had had a massive heart attack. His Dad died 2 days later and to make a dreadful situation almost unbearable we could not get a flight home there are 2 flights to the UK from Salvador a week and both were completely full. The family were told they could not wait until after the bank holiday weekend to hold the funeral. So on top of everything else we had to miss the funeral. To say this has been a hard time would be an understatement. We arrived home yesterday having had no sleep since Thursday and spent all day with his Mum.
There is not much more I can say really we both feel lost at the moment.

I wont do personnals but really hope you are all ok.
Lots of love JD x


----------



## jan welshy

Jill, I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. My heart goes out to you both. Please take cre.
Love
WelshyXXXX


----------



## keemjay

oh jilldill, I'm so sorry to read your news hun,how awful for you both, you must have been beside yourselves, and even worse to miss the funeral too, why couldnt they wait for you?
I cant imagine how stressful this has been, look after yourselves wont you

big big 

kj x[br]: 27/08/06, 13:07Karen
so sorry to hear your news too, what a worrying time you are having wth everything with your Dad too
sending you a big  aswell

kj x


----------



## Jo

Jill
I am so sorry to hear you sad news.
I am sending as much strength as I can, please know we are all thinking of you at the hard time.

Love and strength
Jo
x x x


----------



## Suzie

oh Jill  so sorry to hear your news

What an awful situation for you   

Karen so sorry to hear your news also   

Big hugs to you all

suzie xx


----------



## Jo

I just want to send this to everyone that is going through a sad and difficult time at the moment










Love Jo
x x x


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Jill - so very sorry ot hear your sad news.  You are both in my thoughts (((((hugs)))).

Karen - sorry to hear your news also.  Thinking of you and your family.

Laine


----------



## sanita

Karen - Sorry to hear your sad news.

Jill - What a terrible thing to happen.  I can't imagine how distressing that must have been for you, not being able to get back to the UK.  Take care of each other.

Sanita


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

so sorry to hear your news Jill. My mum died in her sleep a few years ago with no warning, so i understand what a shock it can be. But it must have been awful to have been so far away and not be able to get back. 

After a good week on the training front we've had  few accidents yesterday and today (one a number 2!! yuck!).  I think the novelty of it has worn off a bit....oh well! We'll have to stock up on some sticker rewards this week.

hope most of you are enjoying your BH weekend,
xxxruthie


----------



## keemjay

Ruthie, sure you'll be back on track with the training soon, the novelty does wear off after the initial excitement..i sympathise with no.2's..i was a nanny a while back for a little boy who wouldnt wear pants for a while, and whilst the wee's were fine he had a bit of a thing about poo's..sure you can imagine the mess as there was nothing to catch it, so it used to slide right down to his ankles  
thanks for your reply on the other thread 

kjx


----------



## Boomerang girl

oh jd, i am so sorry x

ruthie, i will be coming to you for advice shortly

doozy of a day with strawb today. proper toddler acting up. even got upset with herself in the end. dh announced he would rather be at work than home with us becuase of how it is at the mo, i feel like a piece of pooh because of it all. sorry to bring things down further, but feeling a bit low tonight.
x


----------



## cindyp

Jill, so sorry to hear your news.  Life is a bit pants sometime.  My thoughts are with you both.

Cindy


----------



## Viva

Sending   to Jill, Karen, and anyone else who feels like they need one.
Viva
XXX


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi Boomer,

i have to say Boo's done all the work. I just kept trying him out with no pants when we were at home and if he wee'd and didn't give me a warning then i'd leave it for another while. It was only when he started to recognise the sensation and told me it was coming that we took it any further.

As for sh1tty days at home with toddlers, its really horrible isn't it. Have you any friends you can go and have a couple of glasses of wines with to off load. Also tell your DH he's being an insensitive git.....sorry, hope that's not too strong. When i'm tired or full of PMT Boo knows and acts up.....its really hard to keep on top of the situations and i'm sometimes left wondering if he's on the naughty step because of me rather than him. but i don't use it often, so think i just give myself a hard time. Wish i could stop second guessing myself all the time, but i guess its what makes us "good enough parents"??  

keep you chin up and make sure you take care of yourself and your needs, cos if your not happy then how can you be the amazing mother we all know you are.

xxruthie


----------



## saphy75

jill just wanted to send you and your Dh big     and to say how sorry i am, it must of been awfull having to miss the funeral 

pam xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Jill - what a terrible time for you both (and dh's mum).  Just wanted to say you are in my thoughts.

Boomer - Hugs to you.  But remember that all parents have rubbish days with their children.  It is part of being a parent. Don't beat yourself up about it. The terrible twos are not called that for nothing (and my son started with tantrums aged 18 months and once had 7 in a day)   The most useful thing another parent told me when I was a new mum was that you think that it will stay like that and your child will be doing whatever upsets you for ever, but remember that children change very quickly so remind yourself this behaviour is just a phase, which it is.  Your dh wasn't very tactful saying that to you but at least he was able to express himself and tell you how he felt which was better than him sulking or being moody and you not knowing why.  Just because your child is adopted doesn't mean you have to all live happily ever after every day.  You are just parents and your child is just your child.  Welcome to the parent club  

Hi to everyone else.  Hope you are all enjoying the bank holiday.  I've uploaded a pic of my new kitten who is 6 weeks old and called Henry.


----------



## everhopeful

Jill and DH

So very sorry. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

(())

Ever & family xx[br]: 28/08/06, 13:59To Karen

Thinking of you also at this difficult time. Love to you and your family.

(())

Ever x


----------



## superal

Dear Jill - I would just like to add my sincere condolences along with everyone else, we all knew how much you were looking forward to going away and this must have come as a terrible blow.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jennifer - Henry looks gorgeous!!  What a cutie, hope he manages to fill a small gap that your other kitten left behind.  Pets are part of the family and after loosing our beloved chocolate Labrador 11 weeks ago (not as though I'm counting) I know how you must have felt.  Our children would love another dog, they may get their wish soon but not quite what they think, you'll have to read further down to see what I'm going on about.

Boomer - PLEASE don't beat yourself up about things, your only human and you will have days like you are having at the moment, it just seems they all come at once and you think hey what's going on.  Isn't it great though that strawberry can express herself!!  She has really bonded to you both and that is a credit to you both.

Ruthie - keep up the good work with Boo, he sounds as though he is on his way to being completely dry very soon.  I am envious, it took me until DD was 3 years old to get her dry in the day, it did only take 3 days but hey!!

Not a lot happening here at the moment.  We received an e-mail the other day letting us know that SS will be in touch when DD BPS collect the letter, I got really excited at first and then thought stop reading into things, what will be will be!

DH has sort of given into the children wanting another dog.  Everything is really at the very beginning and we are not sure if anything will come of it but we'd both love to do it...............WHAT I hear you say.............puppy dog training for guide dogs!!

We would get a puppy from 6 weeks of age, which I think is very young to be taken away from it's mother but that's what we've been told.  We'd puppy walk the dog and do basic training with it and when it is 1 year old it moves onto anthoer family for more intense training.

We have not discussed this with the children as we want to see if we will get accepted first, if we do then we will explain to them that the puppy is here for a short while and it's a playmate for our remaining dog.

DH thinks this way the children get the puppy they want and although we are not ready to have a replacement for our beloved fur baby that we lost, it is a compromise and what a well worth cause whilst were at it.

Early days at the moment, don't even know if we'll get accepted, I'll keep you posted.

Hope everyone is OK on this damp, well miserable bank holiday, as you can tell I am fed up, hence the waffle all about me!!  

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Boomerang girl

thanks girls. had a good cry this morning and dh said he was sorry and just overtired and working long hours and didn't mean it just heat of the moment. went to see some friends this morning for a couple of hours which helped.
x


----------



## Barbarella

Hi Everyone

Just checking in to see everyone's news.  Am so sorry Jill and Karen to hear what you are going through at the moment, how awful.  I hope you both find the strength to get through this awful time.

Lovely to hear how the intros are going...and hope everyone else reaches that exciting part soon - me included.  I've resigned myself to the fact that it's not going to happen this year, so almost forgetting that we are approved adoptive parents at the moment and getting on with life.    It's the only way I think.

Love to all... and hugs to those who need it... 

Carole xxx


----------



## wynnster

Karen, So sorry to read your news of your grandad, I hope those Dr's are wrong but if not then I pray he passes away peacefully    - A very stressful time for you and all your family 

Jill - I'm so very very sorry to hear of your husbands father, you must all be numb from the shock, I hope you all find strength at this very very sad time  

Thinking of you All

Kim x


----------



## magenta

Just back from long weekend away.  I don't have time to wite much but I wanted to send huge hugs and condolences to Karen and JD.  

Also - big hugs to all who want/need tonight - for whatever reason.

magenta xx


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Morning peeps,

I am up early as i could not sleep, but not as early was yesterday which was 4 am, I think it was all the excitement for pooh bears party   . Despite the rain we had a wonderful day inside, we even put up the bouncy castle indoors at the church hall, which was great. Pooh enjoyed hiself, his favorite bit was when we sang happy birthday and he got to blow out his candles on his train cake. My mum did all the food including the cake which was fab  she is a star. 

Poohs FC came, we have a great relationship with her and her family and it was great for her to be part of his special day. She was updating me on my application, as we are going with the LA which placed pooh bear. It would be so nice if she was to be FC for number 2. She said she has already put it an order for a baby girl for us , i know life is never that simple but it is nice to wish sometimes, anyway who know fingers crossed.

I should be back to work today, but i am so pleased i decided to book a couple of extra day off so not in till Thursday.

Now to some personals.

Jill, Hun i am so sorry to read about your father in law, I cannot imagine how you must both be feeling at the moment, but just wanted to say I am thinking of you.

Karen, hope your are bearing up, hugs to you too.

Boomer  sorry you had a crappy day and glad you and DH have made up, I know it can be hard at times and as someone else said we want to do our best all the time, and maybe worry that we are not, a bit more than other mums. I too have days like this when Pooh bear pushes me to my limit, but i feel bad because it maybe that my limit is a lot shorter somedays than other, IE; PMT.  This happen the other day, we had had a lovely am at the park with friends but on the way back i could not push him on his bike up this rough path so got him off to walk, he messed about and i ended up being cross, but when we got home and I put him down for his nap I ended up crying and feeling so sh1t for getting cross because he was tied and I ended up short tempered due to PMT where as on another day i would have handled it better.


Jen Love the kitten so cute, we really want a cat but are waiting till we move house.

Andrea puppy training sounds great.  

Cindy, such a mad busy week not had chance to look at any dates but will PM you soon. Give your little man a bit hug from Pooh bear.

To all of you still waiting i hope you get some news soon.

TTFN

PBMxxxxx


----------



## alex28

Jill - so sorry to read your news. xxxxx


----------



## rianna

Karen - So sorry to hear your news.  We are all here whenever you need us.

Jill and DH.  So sorry to hear about your father-in-law.  It must be such an awful shock.  Hope you find the strength to come through this difficult time, and treasure the happy memories with him.

Boomer- You are bound to have some really difficult days but it sounds to me like you are doing a great job as a new mum and dad, and your reactions are totally natural.

Barbarella - We are in the same boat.  Still waiting and just trying to get on with things.  Still getting asked 'any news?' from well meaning relatives and friends on an almost daily basis, but getting quite used to it.  When they ask me I just rattle off all my other news, even though I know they mean the adoption.  Hopefully they will get the hint.    I think we will be waiting quite a bit longer, and because they don't place children at Christmas time, we may well be looking at next year if nothing happens soon.  They are now telling us it isn't unusual to be waiting up to a year, so I suppose I will have to find some extra patience, but I know how hard it can be.

Lots of Love to everyone
Rianna


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

boomer, sorry if was too harsh about your DH....you caught me at a moment when had just had a similarly dumb comment from my DH. Its the "why don't you just do this...." response that gets on my nerves......definately a "men are from mars women from venus" issue!    

I'm to go away for a few days next week, so Boo and Dh will be fending for themselves......suspect i won't get so many of those comments after that! I can't decide if I'm looking forward to the trip or not. Worried about it but looking forward to getting away too.

better get back to it,
xxxruthie


----------



## Mummyof2

Thanks for the nice comments about my new fur baby.  He is just so cute.

Superal - I think the guide dog training sounds wonderful.  I know 2 families that do it and love it.  The puppies are just gorgeous but I think it would break my heart to give them away in due course.

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## superal

Hi all

Just received another e-mail of the people who do letterbox contact, can you imagine how my heart was pumping........part of me was thinking this is it their going to tell us something and the other part was saying calm down they have been in touch and want the letter.

Well it was just to tell me that the letters DD BPS have sent, will remain on file for her to collect for when she is older unless we would like them now!  

Puppy dog people have been in touch and are sending us an application form, we fit all the requirements and they are really interested in us becoming puppy dog walkers.

I have to agree Jennifer I will find it hard when the puppy has to move on but then we know it is going onto someone who really does deserve one and then we are ready if we want to have another puppy to train!

Well at this moment in time I'm sat looking out at what was my beautiful back garden, it is now full of bushes that have been ripped up and there is mud every where.  We have at long last started building our extension, this has been 2 years in the planning and finally it is all happening, so I won't complain about the mess, I will look forward to the next 8 weeks or so or how ever long it takes, due to the good old British weather, to be finished and DD can have her new bigger bedroom which she is already filling with stuff and has chose what colours she wants her new room in.

Hope everyone is OK, it's been a really bad time for some at the moment and I can only add to what others have said and say Karen & Jill you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## TraceyH

Hi All

Jill and Karen - my thoughts are with you both.

Nothing happening this end.  We are keeping ourselves busy and trying not to become too despondent.  It doesn't help that my sister is having a baby in 2 weeks, although I have been much better this time around.  I was a complete wreck when she was pregnant with her first.  We have been approved for nearly a year (November) - it does test your patience doesn't it.  We have been invited to an information evening with others who are approved and they will apparently show us details of children who are freed for adoption - not quite sure how it works but it should be interesting.

Best wishes to everyone else.

Tracey x


----------



## Val 12

Hi everyone,

haven't posted for ages so will have read through everybody's posts to catch up. We were approved last year and have just been matched with a little boy of 18 months. Needless to say we are over the moon   . We still have to go to matching panel so it's not cut and dry yet but we're nearly there.

Hope everyone's ok, i'll catch up later,

Val xx


----------



## naoise

Hi everybody,

Jill and Karen I am soo sorry to hear your sad news, I hope that you are both coping.

Val congratulations on your match a little boy that is lovely.

Superal your idea as a puppy trainer is a brilliant idea, my friend has just bought a lovely golden cocker spaniel and she is gorgeous, I would love another dog but I think I have enough on my plate at the minute.

Jennifer your kitten is beautiful they are soo cute at that age.

We have our sw coming to talk to us tomorrow firstly to collect our f1 form that we have read over and it all looks pretty good, but then I don't know what they are looking for so we hope it is ok. She is always speaking to us about our fostering panel which we hope is on the 21st of September that is if we aren't delayed again. We have been busy decorating the hall so that we can lay the floor next week, and we have had our fence put up today, so let's hope that pleases her when she comes. I have bought two bottles of champagne ready to celebrate when the time comes. That' s the great thing about working in M&S the staff discount! 

Ruthie I hope you have a good time on your trip.

Hope everyone is well and catch up soon.

LOL Keli


----------



## jan welshy

Val, congrats. 
We are still waiting for contact from Services to arrange home visits, CRB's back so just waiting now.


----------



## Lauren

Hi everyone,

Have just popped on and wanted to send huge, huge hugs to Jill and Karen.  I am so sorry for both of you going through such difficult times at the moment.  Just to let you know I am thinking of you.

We are now well and truly under way with our intros and thoroughly exhausted!  I shouldn't moan cos we will be doing the hardwork 24/7 soon but I'm sure as those of you who have been through it will appreciate, it can be quite difficult doing stuff at fc's house and not really the same as when she is home with us.  Anyway I musn't moan as it is all very exciting and we now have a moving in date of a week on Friday!

Love to all of you.
Lauren xxx


----------



## magenta

hello everyone,

*Karen * - hope things are as well as they can be for you right now. Sending prayers for peace for all involved.

*JillDill* - sending you love and sending up big prayers for you both at this sad time.

*Lauren* - wow! can't believe your littlie will be home with you so soon. this next week will fly past i am sure. I am mightily envious but sooo happy all at once - it is a very odd feeling but overwhelmingly positive as it shows that miracles do happen.

Janwelshy - glad to here your crb checks are back. another milestone for you on your journey .

Keli - how is the hall decorating going? We redecorated our hall about 2 years ago following a flood and it was the room that took longest to do and seemed to be a real pain 9i tihnk becuase it links all the other rooms so you cna't avoid it)

Val - congratulations!  it's a boy!!!! wishing you all te best for panel - be sure to come on and tell us how it went and how intros go too. We love to hear the new mummy stories. it gives us all hope in the down days.

Tracey - hope the info evening goes well. I don't think our agency does those but we are seeing our sw next week informally at a get together so I will ask.

Superal - if the buidling work doesn't destroy your back garden then a puppy certainly will! . All the best with the puppy walking thing. sounds a great idea - and a good way to talk about adoption and moving homes etc with kids.

jennifer - lhow is the fur baby settling in?

Ruthiebabes - enjoy your time away. i am sure all will be fine when you return and you will have a nice time.

Rianna and Bbarbarella - yup....still waiting here too! kinda thought i'd be matched my now and trying not to get despondent. I was sooo hoping to be a mummy this Christmas and as each week goes by the dream fades a little but more.

PBM - what a lovely story about Pooh bear's birthday. it sounded fab!

to everyone else - hello, how are you today? have a hug or a virtual drink -- whichever you feel you want or need. 

As ever no news here. Work is quietening down (mainly cos i stupidly thought i'd be on adoption leave by now so left the autumn /winter months free in my diary). Anyway it should prove a well deserved break after a busy summer and there is plenty work to keep me going and lots of new legislation that will no doubt need work done on it that will keep me out of mischeif for a good few months - adoption or not!

magenta xx


----------



## superal

Val - sorry i don't know how I missed your brilliant news, congratulations on being matched to your baby boy, 18 months is a wonderful age!!


----------



## cindyp

Val, congratulations, that is great news   .  Is he the little boy you enquired about in BMP?  Have they given you any ideas of when the matching panel might take place?

Lauren, pleased to hear intros are going well although you are right they are very tiring and a little strange looking after your new daughter in somebody else's house.  Not long until you get her home and then you will be able to begin your new life properly.

Will catch up with everyone else later.  I can hear Junior calling   

love
Cindy


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi all.

Val congratulations on you match, a little boy 18/12 wow that is fantastic,can you tell us any more like when is matching panel intos etc.

Lauren, I know what you mean about intros, it is such and emotional week it feels very draining but just think this time next week will be the last night without your daughter. Enjoy being a mummyxxxx

Hi Cindy, chat soon. 

PB had a tea party at home last night and one at nans to night so he has had a very full week. He is so cute learning to sing happy birthday to himself then pretending to blow out the candels, it just melts your heart, a wonderful mummy moment. Must admit to having a thought for BM.

1st day back at work today so totally pooped!

No news from SS, so will give then till this time next week and then phone again.

Night Night a very tied but happy PBMxxxxxxxxx


----------



## cindyp

Back again.

PBM, sent you a PM.

Magenta, don't let the dream fade, you will be a Mum one day.  Enjoy the quiet period at work.

Jan, good news that the CRBs are back, sometimes they take ages to arrive.

Keli, not long till panel, it doesn't seem that long since you started but I bet it seems like ages to you.  

Tracey, has it been that long?  I believe these evenings are like an advertisement for the kids, a bit like Be My Parent with Social Services showing photos and brief details of the kids they are still trying to place.  Hopefully something positive can come out of it for you.

Andrea, have sent you a PM.  Good luck with the dog walking and the extension.  We're planning an extension for next year so you will be able to give me tips on how to stay calm amongst the chaos.

Ruth, congratulations on the potty training, we haven't had much luck so far.  Enjoy your time away, I hope it is to somewhere nice and not something boring like work.

Rianna, Carole, hope you don't have to be patient for too much longer.  I think you've got the best idea Carole in trying to get on with life but I guess it can't be easy.  I can only suggest many meals out and lots of  .  Let's hope if nothing happens this year you get your families in 2007.

Kylie, have sent you a PM, it's good that you and DH were able to talk.  Hope the week has got better.

To Kimmy, Laine, Nats and everyone else, hope you are all well and have a great weekend.

love
Cindy


----------



## magenta

Just a short post to say our sw phoned.  

The little girl we got papers about is still looking for a family and the sw would like to meet with us.  Apparently they didn't get our phonemessage to say we were interested!

So should meet the sw in next two weeks and we will discuss whether we want to proceed and whether they think we would be good link.

Maggie


----------



## Mummyof2

Magenta - wow, how exciting!!  Great news.  Our fur baby is settling in well but I foolishly gave him evaporated milk as a treat and now he has a bad tummy and as he is only a baby he does a poo and then steps in it and then tries to clean it off his paw and so tumbles over into the poo and ends up having to have a wash in the sink - oh the joys of parenthood - fur or otherwise  

No news here on any potential match.

Bye for now.


----------



## Jo

Maggie
This is wonderful news !!!
I hope everything goes well, and you all feel you are the right match  

Good Luck  

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi Magenta,

that's great news about the little girl....all fingers and toes crossed!

and val 12....great news from you too.

gotta go, have a parcel of 100 brio trains bits arriving from ebay this avo, and am very excitied......oh and boo is too!

xxruthie


----------



## superal

Oh some of the messages on here today have made me smile and laugh!!

Maggie - that's really good news, lets hope this little girl becomes your DD, please let us know how things go.

Jennifer - Silly fur baby, had me in stitches, can just picture the little bundle of fluff covered in c***!  My fur baby is in the bad books at the moment, I ended up getting up every 25 -40 mins last night with him to let him out to be "busy".  At 11.25 pm I was not impressed when walking him that the heavens opened and I got soaked.

Ruthiebabe - Now who is going to enjoy playing with  he trains most?

Hope everyone is OK, we are filling in our form about puppy dog walking for the guide dogs and telling the children later, i hope they feel as happy as we do.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## jan welshy

Have booked medical and my dad has been sent a form to fill in about us so it seems things are beginning to roll (PLEASE ROLL QUICKLY).
love
WelshyXXXXXXXX


----------



## naoise

Hi girls, 

Val great news   , you must be really excited.

Magenta good news for you both too, just when you thought things were really quiet, I hope all goes well with the sw.

I have changed my username as I think I should keep things private as we are doing concurrent planning (or similar) I think it is probably for the best, we are definitely going to fostering panel on the 21st and to adoption panel on the12th of October, sw rang yesterday and confirmed it. We have done about all the changes around the house. We are supplied with equipment and an account at a clothes store for any children that we are placed with and also paid a small amount, sw has asked that I give up as work as soon as we are approved so I hoping that it is a good sign.

LOL K


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Firstly, thanks to the advise I had on my thread.  We have just started out on the adoption path after 8x 2wws, 1 mc on #4, we had MF and then immune issues and it all became to complicated, expensive and heartbreaking to keep going.  We had looked at adoption a few years ago but still wanted to try the new drugs, now we feel the time is right, we have tried everything and have no regrets.

I had an info pack arrive on Thursday from our local LA and phoned them Friday to ask about children under 5.  We want to have a sibling group of 2 or 3, as young as possible but if 3 children we are happy with the oldest being 5 or 6.  Anyway, after a fairly long chat, taking of some more details we were invited to an info evening on the 6th September.  I came off the phone in a bit of shock, had expected to wait at least a couple of months for this as all the books/websites say.  Am hoping though its a good sign!

Have a busy week this week and then off on holiday next Saturday so not sure when I will get up to speed with who's who and what stage you are all at but I will have a good go!

One question I have for you is...Has anyone been, or is being, assessed to be foster carers at the same time as doing adoption?  K, I guess from your post you are, does it run alongside each other or are they very separate?  I thought it may be a good idea as then any children could get placed with us before matching panel and possibly save them the upset of being moved extra times.

Look forward to sharing my new, exciting and scarey journey with you all.
Love
OT x


----------



## Jo

Old Timer.
Good luck with the open evening, we also have one to go to on 6th Sept  , we have already seen the SW once at their offices, and they are looking into my medical notes as I have some medical issues, but they have told us to go along, so we re  

Wishing you lots of luck for you journey, and hope its not too long until you get your dream  

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## superal

OK, I know I'm a bit thick  & had to many glasses of wine last night, although my IQ on test the nation was above average!!

BUT I know someone has recently changed their ID name which is always a good job when your doing concurrent planning but who were you before?  Give me a clue??(naosie)
love
Andrea
xx

PS  told the children that we plan to do the puppy dog walking thing for the guide dogs and DS is 100% for it DD is a bit confused by it all, we'll try and explain it better once we know if we have been accepted.


----------



## naoise

Hi girls

Sorry Superal for causing confusion, my old username was keli, I just thought it would be for the best, I had also told my sw that I used this site and I know she probably wouldn't look on here but I'm not taking the chance.

OT I have been going through the fostering and adoption process at the same time, it isn't really any different and it has all run together really well. We just had to go through some things about fostering that are slightly different. We are also hoping for a sibling group of just two. I do think it is the best thing for the children that they are not placed in lots of different homes before they get to us. I hope you enjoy the info evening you haven't got long to wait. I am sorry to hear about your troubles that you have had with IF and I hope that things will be better on the adoption trail. Have a nice holiday!

I am now going to put my feet up on the sofa with a nice glass of wine. 

LOL K


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Val - great news on the match  

Magenta - hope your meeting with the sw goes ok.

Jennifer - lovely little kitten   

Jan - good luck with the medical.

Jo - hope you get somewhere on the 6th.  Any news from the other LA?

Lauren - glad the intros are going well.

OT - good luck with the open evening.

Jill & Karen - thinking of you both.

Kimmy - how's things?

Alex, Carole, Rianna, Tracey, Jill, Jennifer (and anyone I missed) - hope you hear some good news soon.

All the mummies - hellllloooo!

Hi to everyone else, hope you are ok?

No news to report here, we are playing the waiting game and trying not to think too much about it.  Just getting on with our day to day lives  

Laine


----------



## superal

Hi naoise!

Thanks for that, I know who you are know!!

I'm really sorry, I forgot you were planning to do concurrent planning as well, as you may remember we've done that, although the baby we looked after was the first to be returned to her BPS in the UK, I'm here if you want to ask any questions!  The agency we used at the time has since returned 5 - 6 children in the last 6 years, so a child once a year, not a lot when you look at it like that, good luck with everything.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## KarenM

Hi Everyone, just thought I'd pop in and say hi.  Despite the news we were given about 10 days ago my grandad is still holding on.  They have withdrawn his medication so time will tell, he's just got some pain killing patches to make it more bearable.  I am on holiday from Saturday for a week so you can guarantee it will all happen whilst I am away.  

JD - sorry to hear about your loss whilst you were away, at least if it does happen to me I am only in Cornwall.  Hope you and dh are coming to terms with your loss.

Boomer and Ruthie - we still see FP's and send an annual phot update to them, normally at Xmas as I get their nursery photo's then.  Our two find it a valuable experience as they frequently ask who brought them things and they can attach the faces to the names.

Ruthie - good luck with the potty training

Boomer - your dh's reaction is normal for the enormous change you have just made in your lives. (mine was just the same - it does get better)

Jenny - Henry looks lovely, still no news on the other kitten?  LOL at the poo story!!

Andrea - the doggie thing sounds great, hope you can do something for this very worthwhile cause.  

PBM - glad you had a lovely day for the party.

Laine/Tracey/Rianna/Barbarella - hope you ladies don't have too much longer to wait.

Val - Congrats on your match.  Good luck for panel.  Please keep us posted.

Keli - hope you get the panel date you are after.

Jan - hope things get moving for you soon

Lauren - hope things are still on cue for Friday.

Maggie - good luck with this enquiry, hope she is the one.

Old Timer - welcome sorry I haven't been around to welcome you formally but look forward to chatting with you when I can get back on propoerly.

Jo - good luck for Wednesday.  Is this Info evening with another LA?

Hope to be able to resume some sense of normality when I get back from my holiday and thanks again to MJ for caretaking.

Love
Karen x


----------



## Barbarella

Hi Everyone

Just popping back to catch up on everyone's news.  Thanks for the few mentions Rianna/Karen/Magenta/Cindy P/Laine.... 

Rianna - we just gotta hang in there.  I thought we'd be matched by now - especially as SW keeps saying we'll be "snapped up"... but it's all meant to be... the right child and all that.  

Magenta - am thrilled you've got some news, how lovely.  It just goes to show you can think one minute it won't be until next year, and then you get a call.

Laine - welcome to the waiting club... we'll keep each other company!!  We're doing the same as you at the moment...  

Karen - hoping your Grandad is not suffering and will be pass over as peacefully as possible.    Try and enjoy your break.

Lauren - I can imagine how hard the intros are.  We would have had a month of them, had we taken the little boy we were matched to. It must be so hard, exhausting and draining.  Best of luck for Friday (sure that was when your little girl comes home) - how wonderful - enjoy every minute.

Val - many many congrats.  Hope your match goes well. 

Old Timer - we weren't assessed as foster carers, but we have to go through the fostering panel to take on a potential direct placement (presume that's the same as concurrency).  I'm not sure of the process, but when we asked SW about fostering before adoption, she said you would get all sorts of ages of children, and not necessarily the young ones. Not sure if that is how it is all over.  We decided to stick with direct placement or adoption.  Best of luck with whatever you decide.

As for us - SW is back...  she didn't turn up for our catch up meeting, not surprisingly, but has called so will arrange another one soon.  We also have a profile evening to go to soon as well, so not sure how that works.  I'm sure the children will be older than we want, but you never know.

We're still hanging in there.. much like Magenta, thought I'd be finishing work now.. so just getting my head round the fact that I'm still there.  Getting into a very busy phase, so will be working lots and earning lots of money (self employed), which is a good thing - as I'm giving up work for a good few years when we're matched.  Can't wait to be a SAHM.  Am arranging a lovely hotel break with dh in October and if not matched next year, a lovely holiday.  I think it's important to plan things to look forward to (even though we should be saving every penny...lol... ).  At least we know this IS going to happen sometime... unlike IVF or ttc.  Thank goodness we've left that behind for good... that's what I think about if I feel impatient about things.

Anyway, enough of my waffle... love and luck to all...

C xx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hey ladies

hope your all doing well

i do read your posts however been busy so not had time to post to you all

if anything needs updating pls let me know!

hugs

Mez
xxxx


----------



## cindyp

Magenta, good news, hopefully there will be a positive outcome from your meeting with the SW.  Fingers crossed for you.

Jennifer, I like dogs but I wouldn't want to keep one, sounds far too messy to me   .  

Ruth, sounds like Boo is as vehicle mad as my DS.   

Jan, you're on your way now, things are definitely beginning to roll (it's all down from here   )

K, not long till panel.  Will have to get used to your new monicker  

OldTimer, welcome to the clan, hope the open evening proves productive.

Jo, good luck with your open evening as well.

Laine, hope the waiting doesn't get too painful and you have some news soon.

Andrea, have sent you a PM.

Karen, really hope things don't happen when you are on holiday and your life can get back to normal.

C like you said hang in there, must be so annoyed by your SW, hopefully something better can out of your next meeting and maybe the profile meeting.

Mez, thanks for looking after us.

Love to everyone else

Cindy


----------



## Jo

Hi Everyone.
We have been in contact with the adoption agency and we don't need to go to the open evening as we have already seen them, so we are still waiting on what they say about the report from my neurologist 

Hope everyone is OK  

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## Emcon

Hi all

Sorry I haven’t been in touch been off for a couple of weeks and home computer playing up.

Karen was very sorry to read about your granddad, glad he is still hanging on in there, the medical profession do not always get it right here’s hoping he keeps going from strength to strength.  Hope you manage to have a good holiday, 

JD - so sorry to hear about your loss, I cannot imagine how hard this must have been to be so far away, hope you and DH are taking good care of one another.

Val - congratulations on your match, nothing beats that feeling!

Lauren - glad your intro’s are going well, are you still on course for moving in on Friday? We are looking forward to finding out just how tiring intro’s are, this seems to have happened really quickly, but then again if our sw had not been ill and holidays etc we would probably be moving a lot quicker too, not long till she moves in!

PBM - Pooh bear sounds lovely, I hope you get that long awaited call soon.

Magenta - here’s hoping this little girl is the one, I found the waiting harder then other part of this process, keeping everything crossed for you.

Jenny - glad the fur baby is settling well, hope you get some news soon.

Ruthie - I bet you and boo had a lovely time with the brio, my son use to and still does love it!

Jan - glad things are starting to move for you, it starts to feel quite exciting when things actually start to happen.

Naoise - like the new name, what does it mean?

Old timer - just wanted to say welcome

Jo - good luck with the open evening tomorrow.

Andrea - here’s hoping for get accepted for the puppy dogs for the blind, how are you going to give them back, I really admire you for doing it.

Barbarella - Here’s hoping you get some long awaited news soon, hopefully your SW will have some news at this next meeting, I cannot believe it when they forget to turn up, I can imagine how it would be if we forgot and to be at home waiting for them!!!!!

Jo - here’s hoping they get back to you soon so that you can get this process started.

Sorry to anyone I have missed, but I am at work and I spent most of yesterday catching up with everyone’s news so I guess I had better do some work today.

Em

PS forgot to say we have now had our placement meeting, we go to matching panel on 27 September and intro’s start 9 October, (5 weeks yesterday) starting to feel quite excited, we should be getting a video/dvd this week of our new daughter we cannot wait.  We still haven’t told our DS, we daren’t until matching panel, plus 5 weeks is a long time in a child’s life, how long have other people waited in a similar situation? I would be interested to hear.


----------



## superal

Hi Em

I think you are very wise in wanting to protect your DS.  We did exactly the same when we found out about DD, we did not tell him until we had been matched at panel and rubber stamped to say everything was going ahead.

Roughly we waited 7 - 8 weeks before we told our DS about his new sister.

5 weeks is a long time in a child's life.

2 days seems a lot at the moment for our DD as thats when her birthday is!

The time will fly by and your son will be over the moon when you tell him all about your new daughter, his little sister.

Wishing you lots of luck & I think your doing very well protecting him and keeping it a secret!

Love Andrea
xx


----------



## naoise

Hi Em just wanted to say congratulations on your date 5 weeks isn't so long away, I think it is a good idea not to tell your ds just yet as you say it is a long time in a child's life. Glad you like the new name, it is pronounced knee-sha, and it is an irish name I can't quite remember what it means but I think it sounds nice!

LOL K


----------



## Barbarella

Thanks Em and Cindy... just wanted to clarify that it wasn't our SW's fault she didn't turn up - she'd had to go back home (abroad) to deal with some sad family news - I mentioned it in a previous thread, so didn't clarify in my last one.  We didn't realise she was back, but I rang just to make sure she wasn't going to turn up and the agency said she was back but not at her desk.  We panicked thinking she was on her way, and ran around like headless chickens, but the agency never got back to us and I don't even think they bothered telling her we'd called.   SW probably thought that we'd just wait for her to ring us and let us know she was back.

Anyway, lol... just wanted to clear that up as our SW has been fantastic and these are only catch up meetings.  I rearranged yesterday and told her that we weren't important at the moment, as I'm sure she had lots of home studies to catch up on and she said we were as important as anyone else.  Bless her.  

She has no news for us at the moment, but still insists on keeping in touch with us every 6 weeks.  We're very lucky to have her as our SW.

LOL.. sorry, bit more waffle than I planned....

Thanks for the mentions ladies... Em - best of luck with matching panel.. very exciting!!!
Cxx


----------



## Lauren

Hi everyone!

Sorry I am not going to get to do personals (again!) but I just wanted to share our fantastic news!  

Daisy is now going to move in with us tomorrow!!!  We had our intros review meeting today and everyone agreed things were going so well there was no point prolonging the intros!  Needless to say we are soooooooooo excited!!!  And a little bit apprehensive of course!  

I can't believe as of tomorrow I am officially a Mummy at long last!

Sorry to be so me, me, me when I know other people are having a hard time but I promise to get back on and do personals very soon.

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


----------



## Nats

Hi everyone

I have been reading everyones news but just dont seem to get the time to sit down and type personals to everyone.

Firstly I want to say***GOOD LUCK LAUREN*** on becoming and full time mum!!, you will love every minute of it

Em- Fab news on your match too, believe me when I say that 5 weeks will whizz by, we had 9 weeks to prepare and that went in a blink of an eye.

All ok here, snugs has had a cold and a nasty cough which seem to be subsiding. He did have his MMR last week but we were told any effects from that came about 10 days after...so it might just be bad timing. 
I was playing with him the day and I thought "I think I see a new tooth" well I was wrong, he has 3!!. He has got 3 of his first molars, a biot suprised as he hasnt long got his 7th and 8th tooth....
The more time I spend with him the more I love him....he still isnt walking but cruises round the sofas and stands on his own so it shouldnt be long.

I just want to wish everyone all the best and promise to catch up soon....I cant believe I have been off work for 3 months already!!....its fab

Love Natsxxx


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Nat,

Nice to hear from you, as you say being a mummy is soooooooooo busy, snugs sounds so sweet. maybe the cold was related to cutting his teeth, I know poohbear always gets one when another tooth is on the way, luckily he has all his now.

Lauren, enjoy tomorrow, when you become a full time mummy,yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

1st day back at childminders for Pooh bear tomorrow after 6 weeks!!!!!!!! I hope there won't be any tears tomorrow and that is just from me?

TTFN

PBMxxx


----------



## alex28

Lauren - hurrah!!!!!!!!! you are mummy today!!!! Look fwd to hearing your updates as and when you have the time.

Nat and PBM - glad to hear all is going well with your littlies. 

Barb/Laine and the rest of you waiting for a match - doesnt it drive you mad!!!! We have only be waiting just over 2 months since panel (bt one month since form was sent in to matching team) but it seems like forever.  We are just keeping busy finishing the house etc, hoping DH will take me away for xmas as dont think we can bear another xmas at home with family etc. sorry feeling sorry for myself now.......


----------



## magenta

Alex,

Big hugs...

I totally understand what you mean about wanting to go away fro Christmas.  the nearer we get the more it brigns home the fact that we have now been 5 months since panel (exactly!) and still no child to call our own.  I think memorable dates are the worst...anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas.  however we need to keep in mind that our day WILL come eventually - it is just the time we don't know.

We have been lucky and have had a few profiles sent to us and have 'noted interest' in a couple of children in that time - but still no 'big news'.  Our sw is good at letting us know as soon as they think there is a child that might be right for us - but it means we hear far far earlier than I think is usual and it means we get our hopes up at what is a very earlystage in the game.  It seems more normal for sw's to call with what is already deemed by both sides to be a 'good match/link' so you may well be unaware of the planning that is happening within the matching team right now . and you might even be a family for Christmas - who knows?

However, I am sitting hear trying not to stare at the phone and will it to ring - which i did for the first hour at work( ).  We are hoping for a 'mini miracle' today. To get hold of a sw who only works wed and thurs to try and get a meeting later today if she can squeeze us in at what is very short notice.  Otherwise we will meet next week to find out more about a little girl in our area who might be a possible future link.
Trying desperately not to get excited but I can't help it.  But I am also full of other emotions too - I am petrified/happy/scared and practical all at the same time!

Lauren - enjoy your first day as a mummy!  sooo happy for you.  
Emcon - really delighted for you too  - 5 weeks is nothgin adn I am sure everythnig wil be fine at panel and you will soon have your much wanted little girl.

Pooh Bear's Mummy - hope PB enjoys the childminder and gets back into his routine quickly.

magenta xx


----------



## keemjay

hi girls 

been reading but not been posting as nothing to report from this end, just been getting on with family bk. we're hoping to get our form F some point next week which will feel like a real milestone 

I'm dreading the wait the other side of panel, I know the wait will be worth it but from listening to you guys i know its going to be really hard. I'm desperately in need of a change of job but am diddling about wondering whether its worth changing at this point, but then again it could be another 18 months before we are matched and thats a long time to hang around. sigh  and as for xmas, dont get me started, havent enjoyed xmas for years, we managed to go to NZ for onr a few years ago and boy that felt GOOD being away for it all 

Lauren -  Happy daisy coming home day!  enjoy every second!

Nats, glad to hear snugs is doing well and growing lots of teeth 

isnt this weather just fab  trying to be outside in it as much as possible before it disappears!

love to all

kj xxx

btw magenta, your profile pic always makes me romantic such a lovely shot, you look very regal in your cloak


----------



## magenta

Keemjay...thanks for the compliment.  truth is that I wanted a purple dress so the cloak was a compromise and I was determined to wear it in as many photos as possible .

Looking foward to it becoming a king's/ queen's cloak in a dressing up box in future years.

Magenta x

ps - didn't have meeting today but will definately meet sw on thursday next week and she has even promised to bring some photos  of wee girl.


----------



## superal

Just wanted to say welcome home to little Daisy who is moving into her new Mummy & Daddy's house today, hope all is going well Lauren, I'm sure it is!

Magenta - What a lovely thought that your gorgeous cloak will be in your children's dressing up box in years to come .  it's our DD birthday tomorrow,6,(where has my baby gone?)  we have bought her a Scooby Doo dressing up costume which I know she will love as she just loves to dress up and Scooby Doo is one of her favourites.

I can well imagine tomorrow that DD will want to go to school in her Scooby Doo outfit!

Hope everyone is well.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Emcon

Lauren

Congratulations, enjoy being a stay at home mummy!!

Love 

Em


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi ,

well we all survived me going away, although with trouble at heathrow on saturday my flight was delayed by 20 hours! It was a work trip but still managed to have some fun. Although spent lots of time talking to other parents about kids! Hope i wasn't too boring!

Boo was a bit clingy when DH brought him to nursery, but its all back to normal now. 

Lauren, hope you're having great fun with daisy.

Magenta, let us no how the meetign goes next week,

andrea.....hope the party goes well

Alex, did you manage to hit your mile stone on the lighterlife program? I've lost nearly 2 stone sicne boo moved in, but still need to lose some more so i can fit the bridesmaids dress for my bestfriend at the end of october. 

gotta write our first contact letter this week.....bit apprehensive about it, but should probably just get on and ge ti over with,

bye for now,
xxxruth


----------



## momo

Hi, I haven't posted on this board for quite some time now as nothing has been happening here and to be honest i couldn't ever see anything happening so i sort of gave up for a while.

As our home study dragged on so long (from June 05) and because i had a major operation in feb, we had to have all our checks done again and i had to have another medical, our home study report was sort of finished some time ago- but needed a bit of tweaking and we've had a second S/w visit us for her assesment.
our good news is that we have finally now been and read & signed the report and are going to panel on 18th September! We won't be able to attend as were on holiday with parents that week but s/w advised us not to worry as she we will represent us and doesn't want us to have to wait until October as we have waited long enough! 

Magenta- hope all goes well for you next week

Lauren- Congratulations!- hope it is all going well for you today

Andrea-hope your DD had a lovely birthday

keemjay- hope you get your form f next week

Emcon- Hope everything goes well with the matching panel

Hi & love to everone else!

Momo.


----------



## Val 12

Hi everyone,

JillBill: so sorry to hear of your loss

Karen : Hope ur ok let us know how u r x

Boomer: Glad to read you and dh r ok, i'm expecting all of that and more. Me and DH have had a few words re: the whole process

Jennifer: Henry looks scrummy, we've got a gorgeous 6 yr old tabby called Phoebe (she was a smelly cat when we got her ie: Phoebe from Friends).

Sorry I haven't posted since last week been so busy at work of all things (and fitting in family too). I have a very stressful and responsible job which I personally can't wait to see the back of and reduce my hours post adoption.

Unfortunately and i'm sure you'll ALL agree with me how difficult it is to explain to colleagues etc. about time out and time off for adoption leave and meetings etc... I saw my boss last week who said I could have as much time as needed etc. and my adoption leave is the same as maternity but then she said ' I hope you don't want to recuce your hours cos you'll never get then back !!' Her only birth child is 18 of course. And I know colleagues are chuntering on about me needing time of for meetings etc. Our match is in another part of the country and so we need to take a full day off work for meetings etc.

SW's and FM visited us today !!!! I was sooooo stressed out I can't begin to explain how much and when they arrived and left I thought why I stressed myself out so much because they were all so lovely. FM brought recent photo's    and I almost cried because he's so scrumptious. 

They've left photo's with us us and talked of how we will do intro's etc.. so hopefully we will be ok when we eventually go to panel but that won't be until next month. This will be the longest month of our lives!!!!!

DH has just opened a btl of wine and put a DVD on so I'd better go. Speak 2 u all 2morro,

Val x


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hi ladies

Val- i know what you mean about getting stressed prior to an event and after thinkig "why oh why was i so stressed" think its just a natural thing to worry- hope things move quickly for yo

Lauren- hope your little one is settling in well and your ajusting too- have updated you on the list

Andrea- hope your DD enjoyed her birthday- 2 of my nieces who r 4 and 5 love dressing up and scooby doo(or as MIL calls it scabby doo)

hi to everyone else- hope things are going well for you- i just wanted to say i admire you all- i keep dipping my toes in about going down adoption route but then something happens and we give tx one more chance! however i know we are coming to the end of the road with tx esp as we had our 2 nieces here for 5weeks of the school hols and it felt right and we realised what we are missing!

massive hugs

xxxxx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to say a huge thank you for your lovely messages you are such a kind thoughtful bunch.Things are still very difficult since my FIL died 3 weeks ago, my MIL is ill too we were in A and E last night with her and DH has been staying with her since we got back from holiday. There is just no let up at the moment  I feel like I never have anything good to say. I am watching all your news and hoping to hear good things. Not a peep for us but to be honest other things are weighing so heavy it's the last thing on the list.

Please take care all and good luck at whatever stage you are at.
Lots of love JD x


----------



## alex28

Jill  sending lots of love your way at the moment - hope MIL is ok and things quietening down for you and DH soon. 

Val - hope you enjoyed the dvd and the wine!!!! betcha opened another bottle too!!! Lets hope this month flies by for you both. xx

momo - good luck for tuesday andhave a lovely holiday too!

hiya to all you new mummies with your recently placed littllies - hope things are all going well for you. 

hope the waiting is not too much longer for us approved ladies and love to all those going thru HS or awaiting panel.  Its a trying time!!!

Well we have SW visit next week for chat and also have been asked to go to an exchange day where we can see all the profiles of the children avail in our local consortium (it covers 4 or 5 counties), all the childrens sw's will be there so if we are interested in any we can informally chat to their sw and take things from there.

anyone been to anything like this before - if so what sort of info do you get on the day?

thanks guys. xxx


----------



## naoise

Hi all!

I don't know what the weather is like where you all live but it is chucking it down here so I am confined to indoors. My sw is coming to collect our f form again she forgot to get us to sign something and we are all set for fostering panel next Thursday at 10.15 which is great so we won't have to be living on our nerves all day. My sw has specified that I am giving up work as soon as we are approved,  I am more than happy to do this and we have said we would consider respite care for foster children while we wait for our placement but I also don't want to be sitting at home alone with no money while we wait for a placement. So I don't know whether to just keep going to work while I wait for the big phone call or leave work all together. I hope this makes sense I only have to give a week's notice at work or if push came to shove and I got a phone call to say they had a child for us at a moment's notice I could just ring work and say I wasn't coming back. Any advice would be really appreciated.  

Thanks K


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

naoise, maybe you could ask your SW about the work. It doesn't make sense to me for you to be sat at home if you've not got a placement. Do they think a child will be placed with you with less than a weeks notice....i guess that could happen. Maybe she's just telling panel about your "freedom" to show how keen you are rather than literally meaning you are giving up.

bit of a rough day here. bad nights sleep cos boo has a cold, and everyone is tired. His new phrase of "i don't like....." insert anything and everythign in here, is driving me bonkers. Think i deserve lots of stickers for good-ignoring.  Question for any of you with kiddies out of nappies, we have a downstaris loo next door to the sittingroom (ie talking distance). It has a step up, and so boo can go to the loo by himself. But am not sure if it should be "expected" of him yet.....ie should we be encouraging him to go alone yet? 

We had SW around yesterday and mentioned going for a second time. She said we'd have to wait 2 years. Seems a long time, especially as that would make him 7 by the time he gets a sibling (assuming they take the same amount of time they did the first time). 

anyway hope everyone else is doing well,
XXXRuthie


----------



## Lauren

Hi everyone,

I'm sorry I won't be able to do personals today cos am suffering a bit from lack of sleep since Daisy arrived!  But did want to pop on and tell you how it is all going.

Daisy has been with us a week now and she is absolutely adorable.  She appears really quite settled and is generally a happy little thing although today she has been teething badly and screamed for about an hour which I found quite difficult (being a new inexperienced mum!)  She absolutely adores our golden retriever, Simba, and I have to say if anyone asked me if she was attaching well I would probably say yes but to our dog!!!  He gets hundreds of cuddles and kisses of her everyday aswell as his ears pulled and his tailed grabbed!  My cat is slightly less impressed with the new arrival as he's finding it very difficult to get his head down and have a good sleep during the day without being chased and grabbed by little Daisy!

Everything is great the only thing I did want to ask from others who have been through this just to make me feel normal is did anyone have feelings of being completing overwhelmed when they first go their little ones?  As much as I am over the moon for the first 4 or 5 days whenever something went wrong/was a bit difficult I would end up in floods of tears!  I think as much as you are desperate to become a mum when it happens it is a huge adjustment and I think I was just overwhelmed by it all!

Lots of love and luck and hugs to everyone.
Lauren xxx


----------



## Mummyof2

Lauren - I remember feeling like this when I had my son as a newborn (not adopted).  I think any new mum feels like this whether the child is adopted or natural as it is a huge adjustment to make and a big responsibility to suddenly be responsible for the welfare of a child.  You are doing well so don't worry.  Read lots of parenting books from the library and watch Super Nanny on the TV - LOL.

Ruthie - I went with my son to the toilet until he was 4 (just to help undress him and dress him after and make sure he washed his hands properly).  Also he didn't like the loud sound of the toilet flushing.  After age 4 he took himself to the loo and managed ok with the dressing and undressing bit and hand washing but shouted me if necessary as he had to have his bottom wiped until he was 5 1/2 years old.  

No news here at all since panel in May - doesn't it drag on and on


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

thanks for the response jennifer.....thought it was probably too early alright. Its just that he tends to use it to get attention when I'm doing stuff like cooking the dinner or having a shower.....the little monkey! ;  Hope a match comes you way soon X

Lauren, what you're feeling is totally normal......we're nearly 4 months in and am only now starting to feel like I'm getting some control back on life......and even that wavers on a day to day basis. Here's a definate "do as I say and not as I do" statement, but try not to get stressed about your feelings, you'll be going through a rollercoaster of them over the next few months (and probably years).....worrying about them is draining, and probably not very productive.......wish i could take my own advice here!  

hope everyone else is well.
xxruthie


----------



## Barbarella

Hiya

Just wanted to wish Lauren many congrats on having Daisy home.  Obviously I don't have any experience myself, but from what I hear from other Mum's (birth mothers), it sounds totally normal to me, and what I would expect at the beginning of a placement.  I'm certainly not expecting it to be a bed of roses...!!!

Anyway, enjoy every minute - even the difficult parts - it's all part and parcel of being a fully fledged Mummy.

Well done - sounds like you're doing a brilliant job.

Love C xx


----------



## cindyp

Hi All

JD, I really feel for you, you've been through so much recently.  I hope your MIL is feeling better and that your life can begin to turn around in a better direction.

Lauren, it sounds like Daisy is settling in well, I remember my neice used to attack my Mum's cat who also used to run away.  As for feeling "overwhelmed", 17 months on and we still get days like that.  I think Jen is right it's just a new Mum thing, not an adoption thing.  That said I think it can harder sometimes going from no children to a fully formed, independent toddler, especially if you've had no other children.  Unfortunately teething can make them so miserable, what have you tried to cope with it?

Ruth, I've just posted on the Parents board as we started potty training this week and things aren't going as well as I'd like.  That said I think Boo is a little young to be going by himself as in my experience boys can be a bit forgetful on things like wiping their bottom or flushing the loo.  He's done so well with his potty training but perhaps a bit of continued support won't hurt.  I'm sorry to hear he's got a cold, Junior's got one too which is making him miserable (not exactly helping the potty training either  ).  It does seem irritating this two year rule, it was never mentioned to us and the first I heard of it was when PBM mentioned it.  We've been told there has to be at least 2 years between the ages of our children but that is as far as it goes.  

Junior's just woken up so I'll have to go.

Love to all
Cindy


----------



## magenta

hello everyone,

lauren - great to hear from you .  sooo delighted that things are going as well as can be expected.  our sw said to 'the first 3-4 months you get by on adrenaline and you survive'.  So it sounds like being a new mum is hard on everyone.

ruthiella - good luck with toileting and potty training.  I am sure he will be going 'almost' on his own very soon.

bit of news from us - had meeting with little girl's sw this morning to ask for medical and developmental updates and for her to ask questions about us.  unfortunately the sw hadn't received our form f which meant it was a bit 'back to basics' with the questions about us but hey ho.  Anyway...we have the weekend to go away and think about whether we want to proceed to requesting a link.  To be honest I think I am in shock - I mean...i feel really positive but i don't feel ...'this is my future daughter' just...'oh what a lovely little girl'. Is this normal??  Should I feel more bonding towards her?  

Anyway..off to london for much needed weekend away and we will talk and think about it over the next few days and get back to sw next week.  Other sw also has to decide if she is happy with a link (she seemed very positive but needs to read our papers) so we'll know if it 'a go' next week or the week after. 

magenta x


----------



## cindyp

Lee's taken Junior into the garden so I can continue from where I left off earlier  

Magenta, I think it would be unrealistic to expect to bond to a piece of paper or to take in that this could be your daughter.  It may sound a bit coldblooded but I think it's more realistic to consider her form and think about whether the child really suits you and could fit into your lives.  The fact that you say you feel positive about the match is the important thing, the bonding comes later when you are together and physically/emotionally interacting.  It might not happen straight away because it can be a shock being a new Mum and as Lauren says sometimes overwhelming but I wouldn't worry about it not happening before you've met her   .  It's a bit annoying that the child's SW wasn't given your Form F but unfortunately so typical of the sort of hiccups that seem to occur.  I'd say have a nice weekend in London but I bet your brain's going to be too much in overdrive to really relax and enjoy it.  Have a few vino's and try your best  

Jen, posted on the other thread about the waiting.

K, I think Ruth is right and it would be a bit silly if the SW really expected you just to sit at home and do jigsaws.  Have a word and see if you can reach some kind of compromise.  Good luck.

Alex, I don't really know anything about these exchange days but hope you can get something positive out of it.

MJ, hope that tx works for you but if the things don't work out you know you are more than welcome here.

Val, glad the meeting with the FM went so well.  Your boss sounds a bit off, she's obviously forgotten that companies are supposed to be flexible with working mothers, adoptive or not.  I'd ignore her sniping and concentrate on those piccies.

Momo, good luck for panel next week, although I'm sure you won't need it.

To everyone I've missed, hope you are all well.

love
Cindy


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hey girls

thanks Cindy for your kind words- means alot

lauren- massive hugs hun- not been in your situation however i know my nieces whoa re 4 and 5 are scared of dogs however with my dog they lay with him- wanna sleep with him- follow him! i get ignored where as normally im the one they follow and want to be with! hugs

hi to everyone else

Karen will be back from hols at weekend and i go on hols sat so just wanted to say that i have enjoyed "looking after" you all and feel honoured to be included with you

hugs

Mez
xx


----------



## Val 12

Hi girls, hope you're all ok on this lovely Friday evening.

Lauren can I just ask about when you first met Daisy, intro'e etc. Did it take long for her to settle in when you first brought her home? Our possible little match Charlie (name changed for confidentiality) has been in foster care since he was born and he's now 18 months bless him so we're not expecting an easy ride. I totally understand where you are coming from about being overwhelmed, I was totally gobsmacked when I had my bd who's nearly 13. She was an angel of a baby, slept well, ate well but when she learnt to walk I got the shock of my life    

She's been hyper ever since and still is but I wouldn't change her for the world. So for us to get Charlie (we hope) and deal with the terrible teens i'm dreading it as well as being totally excited by it all. We're a bit worried bd will be a bit jealous and i'm sure she will be cos she goes in a strop over the slightest thing but we've included her at every stage and she's so excited so hopefully things will work out. 

Hope everyone is ok,

Val xx


----------



## smiler73

Hi everyone!

Alex suggested I come and join you on the thread, so thought I'd post a little one to say hi!!  Seems there are so many stories on here to catch up with, so bear with me for a bit while I figure out who everyone is...

We're about to start our home study (6th October) and are booking a panel date for next April, so fingers crossed the home study all goes well...

Looking forward to getting to know you all better!

Love,
Nic
x


----------



## jan welshy

Hiya all.

Had medical yesterday. DH just fine. Me, apparently I have a heart murmer and have to see a CARDIOLOGIST. In complete shock!!!! No history before. Had ECG, doc said that seems fine but heart murmer there aND i HAVE TO SEE CARDIOLOGIST AND GET ULTRA SOUND ON MY HEART TO CHECK VALVES, CHAMBERS AND SIZE.
Could this affect our adoption process. Worried sick, if anything is there, we could be looking at giving the whole thing up.

Any help would be very appreciated.
Love
WelshyXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## Jo

Oh Jan, hopefully it is a small one, and it won't cause any problems.

I did have a heart murmur, mind you that was when I was pg, but it has gone now, appartently that can happen, through pg 

All this medical stuff is annoying, because if you could have your own you wouldn't go through a huge medical first would you 

The same goes for me and my Multiple Sclerosis, I would still have my own chldren if I could, just because I have a label doesn't mean the world stops.

I am wishing you luck that the scan shows its nothing to worry about.

We have seen our report from my neurologist, and he has done us proud  , just waiting to see if they except us on to their list now, can't believe we have been waiting 5 months already and still no where !!!

Hope everyone is Ok, sorry I haven't been around, been so busy training for this run of ours in 5 weeks !!!

Have a good weekend everyone 

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hiya,

am a teensy bit tipsy...had a very weird day today.

let me start by saying....jan, don't worry too much yet about the heart murmer, my DH had one on one health check up which has shown nothing since then, so more than likely a medical blip.....and even if it is a concern, nothing any other  parent have to deal with, so don't throw the towel in yet.

Jo: me and DH are "relatively" young healthy outgoing people. Both could lose a stone or even two, but Boo has us up and down like the proverbial drawers!. Physical energy is only a tiny part of what you need to take care of a child, and it sounds like you'd be great even if (worse case scenario) your illness came back. 

my weird day started when i was coimng back after going to see my boss today and walking back to my car to go pick up boo from nursery. This guy started asking me if i was married and if i wanted to make love to him .......so i ignored him and then he said, well if you keep walking to the right then i'll assume you want to make love to me. I was at this stage walking to his right, and to change direction meant i had to walk past him again, so i kept going. So, he started following me, now I'm 5'10'' and probaly 14st on a good day, and  have learned some judo this year but i was totally freaked out. And to use the idea of "making love to" in some ways made me really stressed than id he'd said something vile......anyway, this coupke came around the corner, so  i asked them if i could walk with them and i got back to pick up boo on time, but i was a bit shaky. So being in a uni area i phone the uni security. they seemed very keen to go and see what was happening in the area. 

anyway DH is freaking out a bit and teaching me punching moves, i'm freaking out a bit cos i thought i was a bit more physically confident than i obviously am. and dh thinks i ned to phone the real police tommorow to make sure it file properly.....am a bit stressed  
xxruth


----------



## jan welshy

Ruthiebabe,

What a vile individual!!!!! Not YOU BUT THAT BLOKE! 

Please do phone the police, he needs to made aware of. I hope you feel O.K. It is very scary when this happens to you. Uni areas are a prime target (I expereinced something very similar but thankful cop car pulled up just at right time and other bloke fled).


DH will look after you!!!!!

Take it easy today and be papmered by DH, tell him I'm ordering him to!!!HE HE HE.

Love
WelshyXXXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## Jo

Ruthiebabe
God that must have been awful !!!, I am sure if any of us was in that situation would have been freaked, and you clam up, and feel helpless, but I am sure if you needed to, your judo would have helped in a big way 

I am so pleased that couple were there, and you got to pick up Boo in time.

Please contact the police just to let them know, it is good that they have it on file.

Have a relaxing day today  

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

thanks for those msgs....couldn't remember exactly what i wrote last night so come on here to make sure i didn't waffle on too much!   a tendency of mine after a bottle wine!

will phone the police to report it later,

thanks,xxxxxruthie


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Jan - just wanted to offer my support to you    A rellie of mine has suffered with a slight heart murmur for much of her life and it has not stopped her from having children and living a fulfilled life.  Kep postivie, it may not be so bad.

Jo - really pleased the neurologist gave you a good report, I believe that will count for lots.  Hope you hear some good news soon and can starting moving forward.  

Nic - welcome to the thread.  Good luck with your HS.

Lauren - pleased to hear everything is going well for you with Daisy.

Jill - thinking of you ((((((((Jill))))))))))))

Hello to everyone else *waves*

No news this end....waiting   

Laine


----------



## wynnster

Hi Girls

Jan - What a worry for you, an an unexpected one by the sounds of it! Have they said how long you have to wait to see the cardiologist?  I hope it isn't long and you can move forward.  As the others have said i'm sure it's just precaution and it shouldn't affect the adoption decision.  (((((hugs))))) to you.

Jo - Hope you hear from the agency soon hunny - How frustrating all the waiting is!  Good to hear the neurologist gave a good report  

Ruthie - OMG!  I think that would freak out the toughest of people!  Yuk What a creep - Hope they catch him.  Was there CCTV?  Hope the police take it seriously, a friend of mine was 'exposed to' in the local park and the police wasn't interested!!! I'm sure though this is were serious offenders start!  Hope they catch him!

Nic - Welcome    Look forward to reading your story 

Laine - Hope you don't have to wait much longer hunny    What else have you been up to in your wait?

Mez - Thanks for taking care of the board while Karen's been away   and good luck in your future decision 

Hi to everyone with your little-uns you all sound totally in love  

We're moving nicely along the process.  We've completed all our forms including the family chronology ones   and we're waiting for our CRB checks, while waiting we've made appointments for our medicals and all our 8   references have had their forms to complete    We're chuffed that things seem to be going really well (so far!!)
Not so great news on the house though, all was plodding along nicely surveys done searches etc etc and the guy buying ours decides to drop out   So back to square one and hope we find another buyer soon and that we dont lose the house we're looking at  

Take Care All

Kim xxxx

Ps - Nats - did you get my message about 29th?


----------



## Mummyof2

Jan - wanted to say hugs for the worry.  My mum has always had a heart murmur and it didn't stop her doing whatever she wanted to.  My son was born with a heart murmur but as he grew older it vanished - very common apparently as same thing happened to my neice.  

Ruthie - what a horrible experience!  These type of men get off on your fear and that was probably all he wanted to experience - same as a flasher.  Some people say it is best to laugh at them but ..... who knows.  Hugs to you.

Hi to everyone else.  Nothing new here.


----------



## naoise

Hi girls

Ruthie what a awful thing you have had to experience I hope that you have got over the shock,who do these men think they are intimidating women who are on their own.

Jan hope things are moving along for you with the cardio.

We are off to fostering panel on Thursday so I am getting a little nervous I have picked my outfit but now am not sure if it is the right sort of thing to wear, its just a silvery grey top and cropped trousers. I'm sure that the panel will not be the least bit worried about what I have on my body!  

Kim glad to hear that everything is going well for you the family chronology is quite time consuming isn't it, sorry to hear about the house offer falling through.

Nic welcome to the board.

LOL K


----------



## jan welshy

Thanks for your thoughts girlies. We are paying for private as have been fed up with the NHS for a long time (no help from them re fertility tx). Letter has gone off so should hear soon.
Not crocked it yet. The ECG came back fine, so good sign and so many people I have found out have heart murmurs so hoping this is just another blip.

Hope you are all well.
Love
WelshyXXXXXX


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi, all,

been quiet on here lately. Thanks for your thoughts on my incident in the park last week. 

we've our 3 month review next week (only a month late!) and we'll hopefully start the formal application for Boo's adoption then. Our LA wouldn't let us apply till 12 weeks were up. I can't wait for the paperwork to be out of the way and we can get on with our lives.

We also start our "parenting adopted children course" next week. It sounds quite intensive, 2 hours a week for 10 weeks. Anyone else done one of these. Its not run by our LA but by a local charity called parentline plus.

I sent off our first contact letter to Boo BF, and so should receive 2 letters back soon. Part of me really wants to see them, and part of me doesn't. I know that it'll be great for boo to have them to look at when he's older. W still haven't received his lifestory book, which is a pain cos i'd like to be able to sit and chat to him about stuff when he's in the right mood. Oh well, must look on the bright side, he's the light of our lives, and with every silver lining comes a cloud!

better go, granma bought us some toy cars that are the bees knees at the mo.....time to do some crashing!
xxruthie


----------



## alex28

Ruthie - blimey time flies eh!!!  Hope the review goes well and you can get the planning all sorted.  Are you planning a party or anything special??  Course does sound intensive but i can imagine you will get a lot of good from it.  Keep us up to date on how it goes wont you?

Jan - glad the ECG was ok.  Funnily enough i had to have one the other day as have been experiencing chest pains since early August.  Anyway they said i too was not about to "croak" it which is good news.  They have booked me in for a chest x-ray though as its quite tender in places - especially when the docs press down hard!!  

Naoise - good luck for tomorrow!!!!!  

hope everyone else is doing ok?

Not much news from me - a visit from SW yesterday who came with the Post Adoption Support worker for our area.  Really nice guy, adopted himself so knows whats what!  We have some courses to go on in November, about attachment and life story work so looking fwd to those.  Also SW informed us that our papers had gone out another SW on our consortium.  Not thinking about it too much as obviously could lead no-where but at least pleased to know the system is working as it should.  Adoption Exchange day in a few weeks time which we are still quite apprehensive about but even if we dont "see" anything we are interested in persuing it gives us an idea of whats about etc so just going with an open mind and see what happens.

Hope you northern girls dont get too windblown tomorrow and you southern girls not sunburnt!!! Meant to be lovely apparantley.

ta ta for now. xxxx


----------



## KarenM

Hi Girls

I am back.  Had a lovely holiday although developed conjunctivitus whilst we were away.

My grandad is still fighting but it is still a matter of time, he's now been hospitalised and there has been a bit of a medical mix up that led to the diagnosis of such a short time left to live at the end of last month.  He is still poorly but I think it will now be a shock now when it happens as we had got our heads around losing him.  However to add to my "annus horriblus" I have had the news that Mum has got cancer (I'm beginning to wonder what my family have done), my Dad is still recovering from his set backs since his surgery for cancer last year.  

I'm off work this week to do a uni assignment so plan to have a good catch up on the board in between typing that up.

Look forward to getting back into the swing of things.

Karen x


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Karen,

Glad to see you back ,but so sorry to read about your mum!! OMG what ever next. I hope all goes well for her.

PBMxx


----------



## superal

Hi all

Have not posted for a while but have been reading your messages.

Karen - sorry to read about your Mum, you and your family have done nothing wrong & I send you all my best wishes.

Jan - hope the tests come back OK for you, please try not to worry before you know for sure what the problem is, I know that is easily said than done.

Alex - sounds promising that your papers have been passed onto another SW BUT I think you are wise to be open minded about things, I wish you luck.

Sorry not really got time to do any more personals, our DS is calling for me!

We've had quite a bad day today, I got a call at work to tell us our DS had an accident whilst doing PE & they think he might have broken his leg, don't know how bad and an ambulance is on the way for him now.

I wouldn't say I panicked but my heart went into my mouth & I cried   the last thing you want is for your child to be in pain.

When I got to the school, he was lay on the ground with blankets over him and a paramedic attending to him and all the time DS is on gas and air.

To cut a long story short, 2 hours later we came out of A&E with DS on crutches, he has not broken his leg as they thought but he has badly bruised his shin bone.

It's awful to think he is in pain but it's nice that he needs me, even if he is 13!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Emcon

Hi all

Karen - so sorry to read about your grandad and mum hears hoping the year starts to get better for you.

Jennifer - here's hoping you hear something soon the waiting is a killer!

Jan - glad ECG was fine, I hope you get your appointment soon.

Ruthie - I cannot believe your experience in the park, how frightening to be put in such a position, it makes my blood boil that people think it is ok to frighten and intimidate others.  I cannot believe you are now having your three months review, the time seems to have flown!

Alex - here's hoping you have some good news soon, it does sound positive that your info has been passed to another SW, keeping everything crossed for you.

Andrea - hows you son feeling today, it soo frightening to get that kind of call, and awful to watch him in pain, heres hoping he recovers soon.

Well not much happening here, we are off to matching panel next wednesday, I feel quite nervous although SW has assured us it is just a formality, once we have crossed that hurdle we can tell our son, we cannot wait to talk to him about his new sister, her FM has kindly sent us DVD and she is gorgeous we keep watching it, we cannot believe she will be our daughter soon, I cannot wait to show it to my son, I am sure there will be lots of tears of joy next Wednesday!!  We are both feeling really excited but quite nervous now about intros etc, is it naturally to feel so nervous? I just worry about Molly and that taking her from her FM who she has been with since birth will be too much for her, just ignore me I am a major worry wart!!

Hi to everyone else

Em


----------



## Mummyof2

Karen - I am very very sorry to hear that your mum has cancer.  What a terrible time you have had lately.  Major hugs to you and yours.

Andrea - I hope ds is on the mend.  Poor little man.  Hugs to you (and him).

Emcon - not long to go now then.  I bet your ds will be so happy.  Can't wait until it is our turn.  Still heard absolutely nothing.


----------



## Emcon

Jennifer

Sorry you still haven't heard anything, does your SW stay in touch with you regularly?  I found the waiting the hardest bit especially as our DS knew we had been approved and kept and still does asking when is he going to get a sister, in hindsight may be we shouldn't have told him so much but then again I didn't want it to all be a complete show either, how is your DS coping? 

Em
Em


----------



## Barbarella

Hi Everyone

Karen - so sorry to hear about your Mum, you poor thing - life can be so unfair and cruel, you have had your fair share to deal with lately.  

Andrea - really sorry to hear about your son's accident.  It must be awful - I'd much rather go through anything myself than have to deal with a loved one being in pain.  I hope he's feeling a bit better today - will email soon.

Sorry no time to do other personals.  Came on to let you all know (especially Alex28, thanks for your PM..) how the adoption profile evening went.

Well - it was FAB !!  I would highly recommend it to anyone who is invited to one. I nearly didn't bother, dh was working nights and I didn't want to go on my own.  I asked if my Mum could come with me, and they welcomed her with open arms. In fact, the Manager made a bee-line for us and said she was our "first Mum" to attend anything like that and it was wonderful to see the extended family.  

Two other LA's were there and when we walked in, there was a board full of children's faces (very surprised to see a couple of very young children as well).  My Mum was in tears straight away... bless her.  Anyway, we went out into the garden - refreshments laid on, sun was shining - and the SW's just came up and chatted to us all, very informally.  It was an excellent way to get yourself "out there", and I spoke at length to quite a few SW's.  It was very positive.  One of the local placement SW's - who is coming to see us on our SW's next visit - told me that she had linked us to one of her children (didn't see any point in asking any details), but apparently the child came from our  area, and she was very disappointed that we couldn't be linked.  She told me that our profile stands out, which was VERY nice to hear.  It's nice to know that things are going on in the background - as our SW doesn't tell us until we have been selected (which I do actually prefer).

Another SW was very interested in us for a sibling group of African children of 2 yrs and 8 months old (we are approved for ethnic children) but dh is not really that keen at this stage.  He has his reasons, and he doesn't have the background I do (Mum fostered children from Africa/India).  Shame though - as I got the impression she was very keen!

There was one baby girl, 8 months old, who would have been our dream come true - unfortunately, she had the words "linked" written above her name.  Such a shame, she was beautiful.  I have told our SW that we would like to be considered if for any reason the linking broke down, but I get the feeling our LA wants to keep their adopters.  I'm sure they would let us know and the consortium have our details, but the first thing the Manager said to me was "we want to keep you"... well that's all well and good, IF they have a child for us.  I would prefer to be matched within our area, but if the right child came along outside, then so be it.  I couldn't believe that there were children I deemed to be easily placed on the board though - I had imagined it all to be hard to place, older children.  Basically, they had exhausted all avenues in their area, and that's why they were there.  

I was also told that there are quite a few children coming through soon in our LA... so fingers crossed one (or two) of them will be right for us.

As I said, I would highly recommend going to one of these evenings.  When you are waiting, it all seems so surreal as you have to distance yourself to be able to get on with life.  I was so excited after this evening, realising this is actually going to happen - it might be a few months down the line, but it really is going to happen.  I just wish that little girl was free... she would have been the icing on the cake.  

Love and luck to everyone waiting, going through the process and those who are Mummy's.....

Take care,

Cxx


----------



## cindyp

Hi Everyone

Karen, I can't believe how s**t your life has been recently, my thoughts are with you and your family.  I'm pleased you managed to enjoy your holiday before you came home to more bad news.

Ruth, that must have been a horrible experience enough to freak anybody out, I hope the police were helpful.  I understand your feelings about the contact letter, we've done two now and I had mixed feelings both time.  I think it's a good thing though.  I hope you get Boo's life story book soon, we've got Junior's life story book and every so often we get it out but he's more interested in the pictures of vehicles it's been decorated with rather than the contents   

Jan, glad to know your ECG was just a blip (excuse the pun  ).  I don't know much about these things but it seems that there are a lot of people who do know someone who has had the same thing.

Andrea, glad to hear it was just a bad knock and not a break.  It sounds like you were fortunate with the A&E, my colleague's son broke his ankle at the weekend and was in A&E for hours before he was seen.  Hope you DS is soon off the crutches, although if he's anything like hers (and any other male) he'll be milking his injury for all it's worth  

Jo, glad to hear your neurologist has come through for you, I admire you doing this run the mere thought of it makes me want to sit down quickly  

Val, fingers crossed you do get Charlie.  I remember on our prep course they described toddlers as being "mini teenagers" so I think you may be in for fun.  If he's anything like our DS the problem won't be how long he takes to settle (our son was very quiet and compliant for the first 3 months because he hadn't settled) but how much havoc he causes when he starts to feel at home     I'm sure you'll cope, we're expecting some jealous tantrums when we get our second so I might be coming back to you for advice   

Nic, welcome to the group, there are so many of us now so don't feel too worried if you can't keep up with everyone's stories.  Good luck with the Home Study.

Laine, the waiting is the worst, hope you get some news soon.

Kimmy, what a bummer with the house.  No wonder they say it's in the top three stressful things you do in your life.  Hope it's sorted soon.

Jen, looking forward to the day when you have some news, fingers crossed it's not much longer.  Like Em asked, how's your DS coping?

Alex, hope something good comes out of the consortium. 

Em, all the best for next week, although I'm certain your SW is right that like approval panel's they don't normally put you forward unless they think you're going to pass.  Don't worry about Molly, you're the best thing that could happen to her.  It will be a shock to the system (for all of you  ) but you'll adjust.

C, so glad the profile evening was such a positive experience.  I know what you mean about seeing a child that looks perfect, before we heard about our DS we saw a baby that looked lovely but he wasn't freed at the time so the timing wasn't right.  As you say, it might take a few months but the right child will come along.  

Hope everyone else is well, especially those with their new little ones.

As for us, my parents came up for a visit and our SW did their interview as our referees.  She decided she would rather do it on a Saturday morning than drive 90 miles to go see them.  My Mum told me it all went very well and she doesn't anticipate any concerns.  The SW has to do two more referee interviews and write up our report and then she hopes we should go to panel the end Oct/beg Nov so not long now.

We're currently in the middle of potty training so that's keeping us well occupied along with the continuing refurbishment of the house.  All the main things are done so we're at the decorating and carpets stage so not much further to go.  

Got a bit of a cold so I'm off for a lemsip and an early night.

Take care all
love
Cindy


----------



## KarenM

Well time for a catch up. I will try and do an updated list over the weekend.

PBM - Glad to hear despite the weather that Pooh bear had a good birthday.

Ruth - really shocked by the incident, what response did you get from the police?  How did Dh and Boo get on when you went away.  Well done on the weight loss.  I am making a concerted effort and want to lose 19lb by Xmas.  My eldest (4 soon) goes to the loo by herslef and now wipes her own bum.  Youngest is only just trained but tries to copy her big sister.  Good luck for the review.

Andrea - sorry to hear about DS's accident.  Hope DD had a good birthday.  How is the extension coming along?

Val - great news on your match.  How are things progressing?

Naoise - how did today go?

Lauren - great news about Daisy moving in earlier than planned.  What you are feeling is totally normal.  I can recommend Supernanny.

Welshy - sorry to hear the news on your medical.  Hope they get it sorted 

Barbarella - the profile evening sounds like it was well worth your while.  Hope you get a match from it.

Jo - hope you get some feedback soon.

Emcon - good luck for panel.

Nats - glad to hear Snugs is settling in.  Enjoy the teething!!

KJ - good luck for panel.  Hope you don't have long to wait.  I was like you about Xmas, but now with kids the family politics are worse as both sets of grandparents want to see the kids and there are various family traditions in each family that end up making me feel I want to run away from it all.

Magenta - lovely idea with your cloak.  My eldest has been doing weddings at nursery and tried my veil and tiara on the other day.  Hope your weekend away has helped you come to a decision.

Momo - hope you got on ok at panel on Monday

JD - hope your MIL gets better soon.  It can be so hard - thinking of you

Cindy - how are things going with you?  What does Lee make of Leeds sacking Kevin?  Rich is not happy.

Smiler - Welcome and good luck with startng your home study

MJ - thanks for looking after the board, hope you have a good holiday.

Kimmy - glad things are moving along for you.

Hi to Laine, Alex, Boomer, Jenny and anyone else who I have not mentioned.

Speak soon
Karen x


----------



## keemjay

just lost a huge long post      

havent got time to type it all again but just quickly....

karen, am so sorry you nd your family are going thru such a terrible time..thinking of you 

jan - i'm another with an innocent heart murmer, not picked up till my 20's. ultrasounds are cool..make sure they show you the monitor..its fascinating

barbarella - thanks for sharing your experience at the profile eveing..sounds like its given you the lift you needed. and you're def right..very good to get your face 'out there' - just think of the sw's who didnt know you before who do now. and how nice you LA are so eager to 'keep' you 

ruthie-what a nasty experience for you 

superal - hope ds is feeling better today..what a worry for you

jo - YAY for your neurologists report

welcome to smiler 

busy week this week - 2nd opinion visit on mon which went well..sw assured us that they are totally behind us and will supoort us in an appeal if we are turned down..they are still cautious but say panel will be mad not to approve us..nice to hear 
today we got our form F - wow they have got us spot on, our relationship totally sussed..felt quite emotional reading it..kinda feels like my own biography which i guess it is, couldnt have written it better myself!  the risk assessment of dh's uncle is very well written and stresses strongly that the situation is manageable. much is made of our reaction to the situation and how we coped when it all started to go tits up..all very positive..if only she knew what tears and tantrums went on out of her sight  

right gotta get to bed

love to all

kj x

ps karen when you do the list, can you put me down for going to panel 12th oct. ta


----------



## magenta

Good Morning!

Well we decided to go forward for the little girl.  Waiting to hear if her sw wants to go for offical linking so it is back to waiting again. Waiting and hoping - but this time with lists of things to do if everything goes to plan and we are matched!!  Despite having 18months to prepare for adoption (including home checks and pleny of talk on the prep course) we have LOADS to do to get the house ready for a child to join us!

I don't want to decorate until we know for sure we are definately going to matching BUT it seems odd not to be doing anything whilst we wait to hear....what did you all do?  

magenta xx


----------



## superal

Hello & thankyou to every one who enquired how DS is..............he is on the mend but will be on crutches for a week at least, the rumors going round school are unbelievable, every thing from an air ambulance picked him up to him having his leg amputated!! 

Magenta - Wow that is fantastic news, please let us know more when you can.  As for what to do because you may have mentioned how old this little girl is & I can not remember it is hard to tell you what you could be doing whilst you are waiting.  The obvious things are to pick a bed spread/cot sheets for your little one and work the bedroom around that theme.  You could find out about any mother & toddler groups. Fill your freezer with ready meals for when you do start to do contacts and your to tired to do a meal when you get home.

C - will e-mail you soon but the open night sounded really positive and I'm sure is it Alex is going to one soon so that will give her an in sight as to what to expect.

Hello to every one else, I will catch up more soon.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## naoise

Hi everybody

Well we were approved yesterday as foster carers   so happy today although a bit of  a sore head after all the celebrating we did last night, we go to adoption panel on the 12th of October so only a few weeks away. The panel were really nice and they just told us there and then that we were being accepted and they kept saying how delighted they were to have us. They said that they are hoping to plan our placement carefully, although they also said that if they had an emergency case called in they would be giving us a call. 

Andrea poor ds I'm sure you were in shock when you got the call. Hope is up and around soon.

Keemjay I think we are both going to panel on the same day, do you know what time you are going?

Magenta that is great news about the little girl I am sure your head is buzzing at least if you keep yourself busy the time will go quickly.

Karen I was really sorry to read the news that your mum has cancer I'm sure you can't believe your family's luck at the moment.

That's all from me every time the phone rings I am running for it but I am sure I will calm down in a day or two.

LOL K


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

Magenta, what great news....you must be so excited. trying to remember what we did...apart from fret and stress about how long it was taking!   i'm pretty sure we had a few debaucherous nights out. finished the general things around the house that needed doing....although am still waiting for the rail and the curtain to go up in the sittingroom! read a few books....a luxery i haven't had time/energy to do since he moved in!

Andrea, hope Ds continues to recover well.

Karen, sorry to hear about more bad news for your family....you must feel totally stressed! 

Naoise, congrats on being approved.....hope you get the phonecall you're waitng for soon.

C, your open evening sounded great. 

KJ, glad to hear your getting more support from the SWs....fingers crossed for you.

cindy, hope your cold clears soon. both boo and DH have one so its snuffles all around here.

can't rememebr who else to mention....senile dementia!  

just one piece of news in that our review has been put back a week cos one of the SWs can't make it.....only been on everyones diarys for 2 months! Oh well, hopefully won't have to put up with this for too much longer!

we're off out tonight for our wedding anniversary. 5 years! just a few pints and a curry but looking forward to it. MIL is babysitting, so better go clean the house.... 

hope you all have a good weekend,
XXXRuthie


----------



## keemjay

magenta -  thats very exciting news, hope you dont have to wait too long for more news

superal, glad ds is on the mend, lol at the rumours!

ruthie  have a nice evening out

naoise - well done yesterday   yep we are going to panel the same day..havent been given a time yet. my friend is going to panel for no.2 that day too, different LA. they got pulled from panel last week an HOUR beforehand cos some paperwork was missing  they were soooo mad esp as they had been waiting since May when they were initially booked to go. they stamped their feet very hard and managed to get in for oct.hopefully we'll make a hat-trick 

have good weekends all

kj x


----------



## Lauren

Hi everyone,

So sorry I haven't been posting lately but as you can imagine things have become rather hectic in our house recently!  Everything is going great with Daisy, she is coming on in leaps and bounds - I can't believe what a happy little girl she is and I don't know if I'm missing something but she does seem so settled already.  She crys when she is tired or hungry or hurts herself but never for long and other than that she is generally smiling and laughing and just great to be with.  Most nights she sleeps right through and in the morning she is quite happy to play in her cot gurgling away to herself until I go in and get her!  I hope this is not the calm before the storm because I am so surprised and delighted at how wonderful she is!

Am going to endeavour to do personals!

Magenta - fantastic news about your potential match.  I really am keeping everything crossed for you.  When we were at that stage I went through stages of allowing myself to plan and get things ready to panicking "just in case"!  I'm sure this is going to be the one for you - you so deserve it.

Naoise - well done you for getting through panel!  Great news!

Ruthie - congrats on your wedding anniversary! Enjoy your night out!

Andrea - so glad ds is going to be ok.  I can imagine the stories going round the school!  DS is going to be a mini celebrity when he goes back on his crutches!

Karen - I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, I really hope she is going to be ok.  What a terrible time you have had of it lately.  I suppose the only consolation is things really do have to start looking up soon!  Thinking of you.

KJ - glad things on all on track for you and looking positive.  Your panel date will be round in now time and they will definately see what fantastic parents you are going to make irrespective of all the other stuff which doesn't even effect you.

JD - how are things with you and your family?  

Barbarella - the adoption evening sounded fab and so very positive for you.  I'm sure it won't be long now before you are matched with your little one.

Laine - hope you hear something soon.

Emcon - good luck for matching panel.  It really is just a formality but also, I know, very nervewracking for you.  Get that bottle of champagne on ice!  Daisy had been with her FP since birth and came to us at 14 months old and as I said above she has settled in so well (unless of course I am missing something!)

Hello to everyone I have missed - I know there are loads of you cos there's so many people on here now.  Will try and get on here more often and keep you up to date with Daisy.

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


----------



## saphy75

Hi just a quick post before chunk wakes up

Lauren i'm so pleased all is going well with daisy

Karen, what a cr*p time you and your family are having at the mo. i've got everything crossed your mum will be ok hun.

Magenta, while i was waiting to be matched with chunk (which wasn't long) i went window shopping so when the match was approved i knew exactly what i needed and where to get it good luck 

naoise congratulations on being approved

Andrea, pleased your son is ok hun

Ruth Happy Anniversary for yesterday, hope you had a great time last night

a big Hello to everyone else sorry i missed you out but chunk is stirring 

pam xx


----------



## wynnster

Hi 

Magenta - FAB News!  Keeping everything crossed for the match for you!  Hoping that time flies for you too xx

Naiose - Good luck for the 12th - Seems a good day for it  

Ruthie - Hope you had a lovely evening 

KJ - Best of luck for the 12th too   Sounds great that the SW has got you sussed and has written the  Form F very well, must seem strange though reading all that about yourself 

Lauren - Daisy sounds adorable and very contented, glad to hear you're enjoying every minute of her  

Andrea - Hope DS continues to recover well, boys and crutches oh i remember them well from school, they make great machine guns    Hope he's back to normal soon  

Karen - OMG it never rains but pours in your household hun! I'm so sorry to read about your mum, how is she? and how is the rest of the family?

Cindy - Glad your parents interviews went well - and good luck with the potty training!

I know i've missed loads of people but thinking of you all and hoping you're all well, to those waiting for links i hope you're matched soon, those who are in the process I hope things speed along for you and for those that are already Yummy Mummy's Enjoy every day  

We went along for our medicals on thursday, what a con!  We went together to save time and the Dr took our blood pressure and then said that he'd fill the rest of the forms in from our notes   so it cost us £150 to have our bp taken!
The receptionist then phoned me friday so i had to go back to the surgery, they then asked me what investigations we'd had tx wise!!!  I was just in utter disbelief and said to her that I cannot believe i've had to pay for this when clearly i could have filled the forms in myself!  Half of me wants to complain and the other half is telling me that at least it's another hurdle over  
We've got another buyed for our house who is another first time buyer so we have a complete chain again  but i wont hold my breath...... Good job i haven't started packing or anything as we've been trying to move since April!

Take Care Girls and have a lovely weekend

Kim xxx


----------



## jan welshy

Kimmy, blooming cheek of it £150 for your medical. Why did you have to pay. Our authority is paying for us.
Well, my appointment with cardiologist is 2nd October. Not sure if this is just to meet and then arrange an ultra sound with the old ticker or not. I feel fine and still going to the gym each morning, no big butterflies in chet fro a while so hope this is just a samll innocent heart murmur.

Glad to hear so many of us are moving along the adoption road. 
Hoping our road moves quickly but get this gut feeling my body might slow it down a little.

Hope you all have a great weekend.
Love#
WelshyXXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## casey

Hi girls 
i posted afew weeks ago and have lurked ever since. We have an initial appt on 3/10 with s/w to discuss adoption, so i hope i can join you all properly soon 
love caseyxxx


----------



## magenta

Hi Casey.  Congratulations on your first milestone in your adoption jouney. let us know how the meeting goes - keep in touch.

magenta xx


----------



## Barbarella

Thanks for the mentions girls - few personals from me:-

KJ - glad to hear that your SW is behind you all the way.  I'm sure you will be fine.  I felt the same way when I read my Form F.  Best of luck for 12 October.

Magenta - CONGRATULATIONS... here's hoping this little girl is the one for you.  You are good waiting, when we are matched, I'm going out to buy the pushchair and basics.  LOL.  We are also waiting to decorate until we are matched - although if we have a girl, it won't need it.  Anyway, will be watching your progress closely.  Really pleased you've got this far...  

Naiose - good luck for the 12th from me too.

Kim - I can't believe your medical either.  I was in there for at least half an hour (will never forget the thong incident...  ) and it didn't cost us anything.  I would complain.

Lauren - glad Daisy is settling so well.. it's lovely to hear and gives everyone waiting hope I'm sure.  She sounds adorable!

Emcon - good luck for matching panel next week.  Sure we'll all be congratulating you before the day is out.

Ruthie - Happy Anniversary  

Superal - thanks for email, will reply soon.  PMSL at air ambulance - glad ds is ok...!

Right - news here is that we are going to fostering panel on 12th October (just to join everyone else).  Thing is, been discussing with dh and we're not sure we want to do this now.  When we were doing home study, it was portrayed as unlilkely but if it happened, although they couldn't guarantee it, it would be unlikely for the child to be returned to the BP's.  When I spoke to an SW at the profile evening, she said that now the rules have changed (thus why we have to be approved for fostering).. whilst we are "looking after" the child, they would be actively going round the family to try and get a family member to take on the child.  

This is a totally different scenario to the one we were approved for initially along with our adoption. 

One part of me doesn't want to miss out on this opportunity - but the other part of me thinks this would be too much to cope with if it happened - and 8 weeks later the child went back.  However much you convince yourself you would be prepared for it, and to see it from the eyes of a foster carer and not an adoptive parent, I still think this would be a horrendous situation and one that would be hard to bounce back from.  I also think it would delay the adoption as I am sure they would need to give us time to get over it all.

Anyway, your thoughts would be appreciated - of course, it's up to us.. but I'm now not sure the gain outweighs the risks - which is not how I felt before the rules were changed.

We're not seeing SW until 10 October now, so I really feel I need to speak to her before that - to give someone else time to take our place on the panel if need be.  

Many thanks. 

C xx


----------



## Barbarella

Welcome Casey - look forward to sharing your journey with you...   LOL... only joking - you'll love it...

C xx


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Karen - so very sorry to hear your mum has cancer.

Andrea - how is your ds doing?

Kimmy - can understand why you feel fed up about your medical    Are you going to complain?

Magenta - fab news on your match.  Feel really chuffed for you.

Jan - hope everything goes ok for you on the 2nd.

KJ & Naoise - heaps of luck for the 12th.

Casey - good news.  Let us know how it goes.

Lauren - good to hear that Daisy is doing so well.

Ruthie - belated 'Happy Anniversary'

Cindy - pleased things are moving for you.  

C - glad you enjoyed the children's evening.  Hope you come to the right decision for you both with regards to Fostering.

Emcon - tons of luck for panel.

Alex - hope you hear some good news soon.  The courses sound good too.

Jo - how's things?

Hi to everyone else  

We have just booked a holiday to Majorca for a week in October.  Looking forward to the break.

Laine


----------



## jan welshy

Thanks Liaine.

How is your journey going?

Hoping you are both well.
Love
WelshyXXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## fiona1

Hi Everyone,

I am still around, and back in the land of the living. We have finally moved and i am back online, although having problems with sending e-mails, so i will respond to PM's this week when everything is back working properly.

Our prep course is the end of October which is exciting.

I will definately keep up with everyones storys now, i have just been all over the place since the end of July, but will keep up to date from now on i promise.

Hope you are all well.

Take Care

Fiona


----------



## momo

Hi everyone,

just a quick post as just got back from holiday and got loads to do before work tommorow!

Our good news is that we were approved at panel on Monday 18th September (while we were away on holiday!) and spent the rest of the the week celebrating with our parents who went on the holiday with us!

So- we'll be joining the waiting game now- hoping it won't be too long!

Will catch up on everyone's news when got a bit more time!

Momoxx

!


----------



## fiona1

Momo - Congratulations on being passed, i hope your not waiting too long for a match.

Fiona


----------



## Mummyof2

Em and Cindy - thanks for asking about me.  My sw doesn't stay in touch unless I email her and then she replies a few days later.  My ds is ok and rarely asks when he will get his "baby".  I hate this waiting though.  We have been trying to get him a "baby" for almost 5 years, with natural, then IVF and now adoption.

Magenta - great news and hope all goes well for you and the little girl.

Naoise - well done on being approved as foster carers.  I can understand your reservations in case a fostered child is removed.

Ruthie - it was our wedding anniversary last week (8 years).  Congratulations on yours.

Superal - glad to hear that ds is getting better.

Lauren - glad all is going so well with Daisy.

Kim - that medical sounds rubbish.  We had to pay for ours but it was thorough, although a lot of it was just the GP writing down our answers to the questions on the form - as you say we could have filled that in ourselves.  Good that you have another buyer - fingers crossed this time.

Casey - welcome to you and stop lurking and come and chat.  That's what we are here for.

Laine - lucky you having a holiday in the sun.  My brother and his wife are also going in Oct to Majorca to celebrate their wedding anniversary as they have been married 10 years.

Fiona - hope the move went well.

Momo - congratulations on being approved.  It's a great feeling isn't it.  The waiting for a match is a [email protected]@er though.

Barbarella - sounds like a lovely meet the children evening.  We are going to one next month.  Already been to one a few months ago but then it was the hard to place children so I hope this one will be a bit more even.

Hi to anyone I've missed.


----------



## fiona1

Jennifer - Hope your not waiting much longer, i know about the 2nd child thing, Elliot knows we are going to look after someones baby because they aren't well, but we haven't told him, we hope it will be a perminent arrangment, as if the baby is returned (we are doing concurrency) then it would be too upsetting for him. Elliot will be nearly 6 by the time we get no 2 (hopfully) so bang goes the 2 1/2 year standard age gap 

Fiona


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Last night I posted quite a long reply and it came up saying something about a'stressed server' or something and lost my post!  It wasn't the only thing stressed after that.  ANyway, will have another go....

Karen, so sorry to read about your mum, sounds as though you've had a rough year of it, hope things improve soon.

To all those just approved or matched BIG CONGRATULATIONS, I still not managed to get my head round who everyone is or where you are at.  For those waiting to be approved, loads of luck, I hope all goes smoothly and you don't have to wait too long for your family.  FOr those just starting out like me, it would be good to compare notes, good luck.

Have a couple of questions!  Fiona, what is concurrency?  Is it being approved for fostering and adoption at the same time?  Have thought about this and am planning on mentioning it when we get our SW visit.

Secondly, we went to a info evening at the beginning of September just before we went on holiday.  Last Monday I posted the form saying we would like to take it further and for a visit.  I was just wondering how long we should leave it before contacting them again?  I know its only a week but now we are on this road I just want to get on with it.  I don't want to chase them and them think I'm a pain but I don't want them to think we aren't really interested.

Thanks in advance
Love
OT x


----------



## keemjay

Hi Old Timer
grr at losing your post.i always copy mine before i hit post but its always the time i forget to do it that it all goes tits up!
sw's dont always work very fast so dont expect a reply too quickly..however i never think a quick polite phone call hurts so maybe leave it a couple weeks and then give them a gentle prod..

momo - congrats on being approved   

kj x


----------



## magenta

Congratulations on being approved MoMo!

Old Timer  - I would wait til next week then make a polite phone call just checking that they got the form...it should spur them into action if you havent already had your papers go to an allocation meeting yet.

No news here.  it has been nearly two weeks since we met with sw about littel girl and still nothing.  So back to waiting again.


----------



## fiona1

*Old Timer * - Hello, yes you are right Concurrency is when you have a baby placed with you while the birth parents are assessed, the baby is either rturned to the BP or you adopt it. 80% of babies go on to be adopted, but you have to be mindful that you may fall into the 20%. One of the ladies on here had that happen to them, but i will leave it to them to talk to you about it. It's a great system for the babies, as they don't face being moved from a foster carer that they have attached to, it's just you MUST understand that you aren't mummy and daddy.........yet.

Magenta - Hope the wait isn't too much longer, you must be going stir crazy. I know with fertility treatment, and i'm sure adoption is the same, the process isn't too bad it's the waiting that's the killer.

Karen - Hope your family are ok, i have followed your posts and know what a hard time you have been lately.

Superal - Are you still stalking me  I haven't had any news lately, but will do starting in the next few weeks.

Naiose - I will hopfully be able to send e-mails later this week, and will get back to you regarding your PM.

Hi to everyone else, i'm getting there with all the names, it just takes me a bit of thime.

Fiona


----------



## Laine

Congrats on your approval Momo xx

Laine


----------



## superal

Hi everyone!!

Momo - congratulations on being approved, lets hope you don't have to long to wait.

Jennifer - the hardest part about being approved is the waiting & I wish I had a magic wand to wave and hurry up SW, all you do know is that things will work and once you have your child you will forget about the wait, I promise.

Fiona - I'll stalk you if you want me to!!   I just love reading how positive you are about concurrency and even my horror story has not put you off, so well done!!

Laine - Lets hope you hear something soon as well, the waiting bit is the hardest bit, you always think getting approved was hard but that was a breeze compared to this.

Hello to everyone else.

DS is much better, no sport for another week and he can not do his black belt in Ju-Jitsu this Saturday which he is a bit upset about.

As for me I don't know if I am coming or going at the moment.  3 weeks ago I started a training course to do a Diploma in Pre School Practice, this is on a Tuesday, term time only and in school hours so that bit is great.  The hardest thing is being in a class room situation again BUT I am really enjoying it, even the home work!

Tuesday is also the day that I do Rainbows, young Brownies and LOST is on so my Tuesday days are well and truly took up.  Watching LOST with a glass of wine is a great way to relax.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## KarenM

Hi Everyone

Haven't done the list yet but its in progress so once it is done I will start a new thread. Just to let you all know that Pam is helping me with the moderation fo the Adoption and Fostering thread at the minute as I might not be able to get on as often as I would like, but I won't be away for long 0try stopping me!! So thanks to Pam for her help.

KJ - great news on getting you form F and great that you are happy with how they have portrayed things. Good luck for panel on 12th - not long to wait. Can't believe what happened to your friends panel.

Magenta - What you are doing is normal, it's the start of "nesting"!! When do you think you will hear back? Hope you get to hear soon and can put in place all of your plans

Naoise - Congrats on being approved at panel. Hope you don't have long to wait and hope you get your first placement soon.

Ruthie - a week will fly by. Happy Anniversary hope you had a good night out.

Lauren - glad to hear that you are getting into a routine with Daisy.

Pam - thanks again for your help. Glad to hear that Chunk is settling into a routine.

Kimmy - what a nightmare with your meds. I thought ours was bad at £73 for the two of us, but we were in there for an hour. Hope you to move this time, have you found somewhere?

Welshy - good luck for Monday, hope it all goes well.

Casey - good luck for your appointment next week.

Barbarella - good luck for fostering panel - has dh made his mind up about it?

Laine - Have a lovely holiday.

Fiona - glad the move went ok and you are now back on line. Good luck for your prep course.

Momo - congratulations on reaching this milestone given the setbacks you have had this year. Hope you don't have to wait too long.

Old Timer - Here's an old thread that has some info about concurrency onit, hope it helps... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=44360.msg552293#msg552293

Andrea - good luck for your course, sounds like Tuesday's are pretty busy now for you.

Well, as for me, back to work yesterday after 2 weeks off. Its horrendous the amount of e-mails you get even when your out of office is on saying you are not there! Things are really busy as one of my assistants has been off since end of August. I have 3 days at uni next week and its proved to be a good distraction to keep me focused and not slide into a depression. I even surprised myself by getting a grade A for my first assignment (I never got A's at school).

Mum is doing ok. She is very tired. She goes to see the surgeon on Thursday so we should know more then. They also need to do a CT scan to ensure that the cancer has not spread. They have indicated that she will have surgery early next month. She's encouraged my brother to continue with his travels despite him offering to stay (he's home for 10 days and then goes to Oz on Sunday), so all the care for her and Dad falls to me.

The kids are doing really well. They are really thriving at nursery. Eldest went up to pre-school room early as she was getting to be disruptive in the younger group because she was not stretched enough. Youngest has just moved up a group and will move to pre-school group when eldest goes to school next September.

Eldest started gymnastics on Saturday and loved it. Youngest can start when she is 3 so may take both of them in the new year.

Hope everyone else is doing ok

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


----------



## alex28

KJ - well done on getting the form F done - another   which is fab!!

Magenta - yes more waiting ....  best get plenty of   done as you wont have time soon!!!!  

Karen - well done on getting a grade A - you should be very proud of yourself   and glad the kids are doing well at school - a weight off your mind i can imagine.

Andrea - ordered you school uniform yet?  

Old timer - welcome back.  Re chasing SS i always found email a good way as its less intrusive but gets your point across - nothing wrong with being keen in my eyes!!

momo - well done on approval.

Hiya to everyones else.

we have our adoption excahnge day next week - sounds similar to what Barbarella went on but ours is with local consortium which covers 6 LA's so from reading B's post its made me a little more optomistic - still keeping a level head though!!

Just found out this evening that a friend of mine has given birth  , she had her first child 8 years ago and had a prolapsed womb so was told she should not really have any more kids so did not then fell pg unexpectadly.  Anyway she has been in and out of hosp for the last 2 months with problems, baby not due till end of October.  We joked a while ago that she was gutted as she is 40 tomorrow and could not have a drink on her 40th!!! well now she can!!!!!!  She's do anything to get drunk that girl!!!

i have to go to hosp to have a chest xray tomorrow so will pop in and say hi and have a cuddle if possible although it will be hard and i wil prob cry my eyes out..........anyway DH home tonight for a change to off to bed for an early night


----------



## Viva

Hi everyone, 
It's been quite a while since I've posted although I've been trying to keep up with all the news. At work at the moment so no time for loads of personnals. 

Magenta great news about your potential match...you must be on tenter hooks!

Karen, just wanted to send you a  , I really feel for you with everything that's going on with your family.

No news on the adoption front with us...still waiting for a social worker to be free to start our home study...thought I might drop them an email asking for recommendations for reading lists as they didn't send out one with their information pack. Have loads of lists form other areas but thought it might be a way of making contact without being pushy and showing we're keen! HAve had a difficult couple of weeks as just found out my youngest sister (8 yrs younger than me) is pregnant! Not planned and not really great timing as her DH is presntly in between jobs and they live in a one bedroomed flat! (Although his parents are now going to help them buy a house.) Whilst I am pleased...it's been a bit tough to handle particularly as it's come right on the back of my other sister, who is also younger than me just having her first child. Feel a bit angry and rather jealous that they are leaving me behind and I'm still waiting waiting waiting, whilst it's great to get started on the adoption journey, I know realistically we're probably looking at a minimum of 18months before we might have a family!

Sorry to be a bit me me me...will try and do a proper catch up on my day off on Friday...in the meantime it's good to get that all off my chest with people who I know will understand exactly how I'm feeling.

Love Viva
XXX


----------



## superal

Alex - you are a naughty girl!  - of course I've got my uniform!! - I've got 2!!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## naoise

Hi girls

Everyone is soo busy on this thread I am getting left behind, nothing happening here just waiting for that call just like everone else I suppose I'll just have to get used to it.

Superal good for you for going back to school, and that you are enjoying it.

Momo well done for being approved hope your wait isn't too long.

Old timer I think I would ring the sw next week just to keep in touch it does no harm to seem keen.

Karen thanks for keeping in touch with us all, your life seems to be busy at the moment I hope your Mum's ct goes well and the cancer hasn't spread. All the best.

Hi to everybody all the new Mummys and all of the ladies in waiting.

LOL K



Viva hang in there you will be a mum soon. I know what you mean though it does niggle deep inside somewhere when I find out someone is pregnant I think it's just human nature.


----------



## alex28

Andrea - what does DH dress up too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## magenta

Alex and Viva - I understand what you mean about pregnancies.  my best friend is due next week and it hurts.  not that its won't be a loved baby but it still sucks.

Karen - big hugs and a glass of virtual wine cos it sounds like you are having a really rough time of it.

Still no news here - 2 weeks tomorrow since we met sw and everyone seemed to positive and hopeful about a possible future match but now i am beginning to wonder.
it is the waiting that is killing me - the not knowing, the abandonment feeling that we have no idea if we have to prepare the house or not...to plan a holiday or no, to do something simple like book a work meeting in for 1st Nov  - or not!!  AARRRGGHHHHH.

Anyway...OH and I have agreed that I will phone our SW tomorrow morning for an update and if he doesn't know anything it will at least give him the rest of the day to try and contact the other sw to see if it is a 'yes' or a 'no' to the link.  We should also know what happens next and when - if it is a 'yes' - cos they were talking about matching panel on 20th oct last we heard which is like 3 weeks away

magenta xx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Everyone,
As you know my FIL died suddenly 5 weeks ago when we were on holiday and we couldn't get back for the funeral. My wonderful MIL has been ill and getting worse ever since and she died yesterday. We are completely heart broken now and in absolute shock there will be a PM as they could not tell us what was wrong. I wonder what we have done to be put through this along with everything else.
Love JD x


----------



## saphy75

Jill what an absolutley awful time you are having words fail me, i'm so sorry hun  please pass my condolences on to your dh too

pam xx


----------



## magenta

Jill  - I am absolutely heartbroken for you you.  how terribly terribly sad.


magenta xx


----------



## fiona1

Jill - So sorry to hear your sad, sad news. My grandma and grandad died 3 weeks apart (when i was a baby) The family all thought grandma had died of a broken heart. I know you must all be so upset, but think of them together again somewhere very happy.

Take care of yourself and your DH

Fiona


----------



## keemjay

jilldill - big big hugs to you and your poor dh, what a totally awful time you are having. keep strong hunny  

kj x


----------



## Barbarella

Jill - I am so very sorry to hear that.  You have done nothing, life can be so cruel.. I'm so sorry!!!
C xx


----------



## cindyp

Jill, so sorry to hear your news.  Try your best to take care.

love
Cindy


----------



## Ruthiebabe

JillDill, so sorry to hear about you MIL. When my mum died a few years ago she had to have a PM too as she had been fit an well right up to her aneurism going. Its a horrible thought, a PM, but hopefully they won't delay the funeral. Not that they are much fun, but are a very important part of the grieving process. 

Magenta, let us know how your phonecall goes.

Karen, hope its good news for you mum from her scan. And great news on you girls doing so well. Boo has just moved up to the "swan" room at his nursery, and he really loves it. 

We had our first night of our "parenting adopted children" course. We're a mixed bunch, 2 families with children, some about to be approved, and some just approved and waiting. Interesting the theme running through it of how unnecessarily drawn out the process is.....and how frustrating it can be working with SWs!  The women runnign the course is a little irritating......DH suspects she's on a HRT overdose! But i enjoyed it, and DH said it wasn't as annoying as he thought it would be.....praise indeed! 

One thing really stuck out was when we were split up we had to draw a "perfect" parent, while another group did "parent in real world" and another "new parent". The new parent was totally frazzled with hair all over the place, and they had written a list of things they thought a new parent would be going through......basically it was me! trying my best, but always worried i'm not doing a good job. learning lots of new skills, and feeling a bit ovrwhelmed. Can't remember what else was on there, but it nearly made me cry......friends have been telling me for ages that what i'm feeling somedays is normal/expected. But when a group of stranger came up with it when it was nothing specifically to do with me maybe helped me accept it is true.

Anyway, we'll hopefully make some new friends. Because we started the process elsewhere we didn't do a prep course here, so it was the first time we met adopters in our area.

right, time for a coffee now,
xxruth


----------



## wynnster

Jill

So sorry to hear your news   Such a sad and upsetting time for you all.

Take comfort from Fionas words  

With deepest sympathy

Kim x


----------



## superal

Jill - like so many others I was sorry to read your news, life seems a little unfair at times and this is a very sad time you are going through.

I lost my Grandad, who lived with us and my Dad with in 8 weeks of each other and like Fiona has already said they think my dad died of a broken heart.

Please look after your self and know that you have friends on here who are here to offer you any help and support that you may need.

love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Viva

Dear Gill, 
I just wanted to say how very sorry I was to hear your news.PM's can be difficult but knowing why can sometimes help with the grieving process.
Sounds like you and your DH deserve some quality couple time in the next few weeks.
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## alex28

Jill - so sorry to read your news.  take is easy. xxx


----------



## Emcon

Jill

So sorry to read your news, please take heart in what Fiona and others have said.

Take care of yourself and DH.

Em


----------



## rianna

Jill,

So Sad to hear your news.  Just wanted to send my love to you and your DH.

Lots of Love
Rianna.


----------



## Suzie

jill - so sorry to hear your news  what an awful time for you. Have lots of cuddles with dh 

xx


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Jill

So sorry to come on and read your sad and shocking news today, I hope you and DH can take some comfort in the fact that his parents are now reunited. I do belive that sometimes this can be the best as the one left behind will just pine away, but it still must be so hard on you guys at the moment. Take time out to be together.

Sending you a big cyber hug.

PBMxxxxx


----------



## Mummyof2

Jilldill - very sorry to hear your very sad news.  Huge hugs to you both.  What an awful shock.

Magenta - did you make the phone call?

Ruth - glad you got some help from the adoption parenting course.  I would like to go on one of those someday.

Hi to everyone else.  No news here.


----------



## jilldill

Hi,
We have just had the Coroners report and we have been told my MIL was riddled with cancer! This comes after 6 weeks of unimaginable pain (I now know what the expression wracked with pain means). We had 3 visits to the GP who sent her home, a visit to hospital, 3 emergency blue light visits to A and E from which she was also sent home all with a bad back and blood tests which were apparently clear!
The negligence and incompetance we have encountered has been stunning making the whole thing all the more distressing. I asked if they would keep her in on one A and E visit and was told no it's not necessary nor apparently were X Rays and Scans which I asked for. Sorry I am just so shattered by all thats happened I guess I need this outlet.
Love JD x


----------



## Suzie

oh Jill how awful for you and dh  

Its never easy looking back and feeling more should have been done 

lots of love and hugs
suzie xx


----------



## Old Timer

Jill, so sorry to read of your lose. x

I couldn't get on here yesterday, some strange thing had happen and I kept being told I'd been banned due to being abusive!  Well, to say I was upset and shocked.....Anyway, Kim couldn't find anything and in the end I had to get DH to sort it, he is a computer whiz and so I have become very lazy over the years and let him do anything like that.

I have been off work with a head cold, went back this morning and was sent home at lunchtime.  Good job to as I had a phone call this afternoon from Social Services!!!  We have our first meeting on the 9th October .  Any words of wisedom, what to expect would be greatly appreciated.

Love
Ot x


----------



## Laine

Dearest Jill & Dh,

So very sorry to hear of your sad news.

Thinking of you both xx

Laine


----------



## fiona1

Jill & Dh,

I am so very very sorry, i thought the PM may have brought you some closier. Please look after yourseves.

Fiona


----------



## naoise

Jilldill and dh

I am soo sorry to hear of your news I can't imagine what you are both going through I lost my mum a few years ago and that was devastating so I can't even begin to know. But we are all thinking of you at this terrible time.

Love K


----------



## Jo

Jill and Dh
Just want you to know we are all here for you.

I am so sorry to hear your sad news.

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## cindyp

JD, words fail me.  I'm so sorry for all that has happened.

My thoughts are with you all,

love
Cindy


----------



## KarenM

Jill - So sorry to hear about the loss of your MIL.  May she now be at peace with her husband   Hope you and DH can take some comfort from this.  Please feel free to vent if you need to and look after yourselves.

Love
Karen x


----------



## sanita

Jill sorry to hear your very sad news.  Take care of yourself and each other.


----------



## momo

Jill & DH- so sorry to hear of your very sad news- it is appalling how negligent the hospital was regarding your MIL-take care of yourselves.

Thanks to everyone for your messages about our approval at panel.


----------



## jilldill

Thankyou all for such lovely thoughtful messages, we are planning the funeral now the second one in five weeks!
Love to all glad to hear the bits of good news that are happening
JD x


----------



## TraceyH

Jill - Thinking of you.  Look after each other.

Not much happening our end, although we did hear from the SW the week before last who said that we had been linked to 2 children (seperate links) one area was just waiting for a couple more F1 before making a final decision and the other one we were the only link.  Our SW was e-mailing the first link this week as I said I would not want to miss out on the other link where we where the only ones being considered while we are waiting for news on the first link.  We have not heard anything this week.  It is so hard to not give her a ring but I don't want to upset the apple cart.  We were so excited when we heard but have had to try and be patient.

We went to an information evening last week where there we lots of children from the area needing placement but I felt we were a little too close for comfort.  We go to this particular town shopping on a regular basis and most of the birth parents still live in the town.

Best wishes to everyone else.

Tracey


----------



## jan welshy

Jill and DH, so sorry to hear your news. Our thoughts are and will be with you both and with your family. Take care.

Love
WelshyXXXXXXX


----------



## everhopeful

Jill and Dh

So very sorry. 

Our thoughts and prayers are with you x


----------



## everhopeful

Hi all

I've not been around for so long, and it looks like I've missed so many newcomers - "Welcome" from me!! And so many pieces of news (good and bad). Hi to everyone x

No news I'm afraid from me. Not on the adoption front anyway. We are still waiting to re-apply. 
Baby Boo is now 3 and going on 13!!!
We are having our very first night in "big girls' pants" tonight! So fingers crossed!! She's been dry during the day continually since June, and on a night (in pull-ups) for roughly 8 weeks so thought we'd take the plunge!
She's growing up so fast she's not my baby anymore. Proper little lady, who certainly knows her own mind!! 
Having a real job at the moment with shoes for her. She's currently in a size 6 but getting tight (and her nursery shoes are worn out and need replacing). But trying on size 7's, she's nowhere near yet. Need to find some 6 1/2's somewhere or otherwise some bigger fitting 6's that are cheap incase they don't last long!
Mind you, in this weather I could probably put her in wellies every day and get away with thick socks!!!

Anyway, bye for now everyone.

I'll be in touch x


----------



## Val 12

Hi all,

Jill and dh, what an awful time you are both having. My dd passed away last year from total neglect, he'd visited the gp and a& e numerous times with abdominal pain and was subsequently sent home. A PM revealed a perforated appendix and I can't help but think had it been caught early enough, it may have saved his life so I can totally understand why you need to vent off your feelings. 

I hope you and dh are there for each other and when the funeral is over perhaps write a letter to the hospital and GP practice to try and find out what went wrong it may help you both or at least stop this happening again to someone else but unfortunately in the cash strapped NHS these things happen time and time again.

It may not be much comfort now but as the other girls have said at least she's out of pain and with her dh now. Had the cancer been detected 5-6 weeks ago may not have made any difference to the sad outcome because it had obviously been a very aggressive form and had spread to other organs. The drs may not have been able to treat it with chemotherapy and may have just treat it palliatively with painkillers. But you will probably have this awful feeling of 'if only they'd caught it sooner', I did for a long long time and I blamed myself.

Please be there for dh because he is going to need you so much right now and remember your parents in law are togehter and at peace now,

Val x


----------



## g

Dear all,

May I join you? I posted a few times last year, and have followed your stories but have not posted for a while.

I’ll start with a few personals.

Jill and DH- I was really sorry to hear your news. You have really gone through the mill. 

Magenta-Good luck with your linking panel.

Keemjay-We were together on another thread many moons ago and you were kind enough to PM me last year. I’ve followed your story. My thoughts are with you.

Barbarella- Huge congrats on your match. It’s an inspiration to us all.

Hello to everyone who I’ve missed.

After a year of dilly dallying (research and discussion after discussion) we finally closed the door on our fertility treatment. We have received the application form for adoption (we attended an info session last year) and here in lies our dilemma!!

Everyone knows why they want to adopt. It is a gut feeling and you just KNOW when the time is right.
SO, why is it so hard for Dh and I to put it into words!!

We have been at it all day. I mean trying to fill in the forms.  Dh suggests something I don’t think it sounds right and we have a ‘discussion’. The note paper is torn up.
I have a go at putting my thoughts on paper. Dh doesn’t think it sounds right the note paper gets torn up. Then we go for a walk. We try again. Four pages later,our life story told we still haven’t answered the question ‘ Why do you want to adopt?’ So we throw out the note paper again. Over and over we still can’t find the right words!

I think the problem is that it is such an important question and we are answering it as if our life depended on it and in a way it does.
Of all the times to get writer’s block WHY NOW?

I know we can’t go in to any specifics and everyone has their different reasons for wanting to adopt but is there anyone who can offer any general words of wisdom to help us though this.
I can’t help thinking that if I’m getting my knickers in a twist now heaven help me further down the line!!

Best wishes to you all,

G.


----------



## cindyp

G

Welcome to the board.  I'm sorry I can't help too much, it's been nearly 3 years since we were at that stage and I can't remember what we put.  I think you've just got to be honest and not try to second guess the Social Workers.  Basically you want a family and feel that you can offer something to children who need to be part of a family.

Just go with your instincts.

Best of luck
Cindy


----------



## magenta

G,

Do YOU know why you want to adopt?  If you do then please don't worry about what to write on the form.  Just put that you would like to have a family and both feel that adoption would offer you the chance to have a family whilst offering love and stability to a child in care...or words to that effect.  the sw will ask you in-depth at a later date anyway so just put the main reason at this stage.  

However, if you and your husband don't really know why you are going down this road maybe you need to do some more talking and thinking.  Adoption ISN'T for everyone  - you don't have to want to adopt just cos tx hasnt worked out.  

Hoping this is just a 'writer's block thing' and you have already written what needs to be there already.

Welcome back!

magenta xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Welcome G, we just put we wanted to adopt to complete our family and offer love and stability to a child who would be much loved as part of our family, and we were looking for a sibling for our son as we were unable to have another child naturally.  Nothing earth shattering or verbose, just truthful.  Hope this has helped you.  

Perhaps you and your dh are looking too deeply into things?  As has already been said when you start your home study the social worker will ask you indepth why you want to adopt then.  This is just the preliminary form.  

The next step after this form will be that a social worker will visit you at home a few weeks later and ask you then why you want to adopt (plus a load of other questions and you can use the opportunity to ask her/him lots of questions about adoption that you might have).  

You will find that you are asked this question over and over in various guises so don't worry about it at this stage! 

All the best


----------



## fiona1

Hi everyone,

Just thought i'd pop back and say hello, Magenta and Barbarella, hope everything runs smoothly for you both.

I am back from a lovely weekend in Guernsey and my Dh is on his way back from Old Trafford, he drove there and back today (4 hours each way) just to see united play...free tickets!!!

Elliot is at school all day tomorrow, he has been finishing at 1.20pm but from tomorrow he has to stay till the end 

Slowly getting settled back here, just want to get going with the prep course 23,24,30,31 October.

Had another friend announce her pregnancy yesterday, i recon they did IT twice max!!! i have reconed that she is due in June and if all runs smoothly we could have a foster child by then, which would be fab, but if the baby was return ed to the BP then we would have the constant reminder. Oh well it's the route we have chosen to go down so we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

Hope you are all well and had a good weekend.

Fiona


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi everyone,

JillDill....just read your news about the coroners report.....how awful. I wold definately make a formal cmplaint though becuase those sorts of mistakes should not be alowed to happen.

G, you have some good advice about the forms, you're not going to be judged too much on this.

I was at my oldest friends hen night in dublin on saturday. I was feeling grotty before hand, but now i've a rotten sore throat and cough, and can feel a cold comign on....i got home yesterday after loads of delays to find poor DH had been up all night with D+V.....hopefully just a 24 hour bug. But with me gone and DH ill, Boo decided to be a bit of a brat! Understandable really, but we're all a bit frazzled now! Thank god for cbeebies!

better get back to some playing,
xxxruthie


----------



## keemjay

hi all 

jilldill, i've been thinking about you alot, i hope things start to looka bit brighter soon. look after yourself and dh 

g - i think the others have siad it all really.i dont ever remember having to write anything like that, although we were asked why we wanted to adopt. i think we just answered we wanted to be a family. they arent looking for rocket science, just that you understand the differences between a natural child and an adopted one and that the road isnt always easy. they just want to see a bit of commitment..at this stage obviously you havent been on the prep groups and had all the information yet but you could say you are excited about the journey you are about to embark on and are doing lots of reading to help you understand all about adoption.

ruthie - glad you are finding the course enlightening, sounds really good 

i've finished our family bk now, just waiting to ind out when i have to take it in, apparently it has to go in before panel. we went to visit a foster carer last week which was really interesting, lovely lady, really friendly and helpful, has fostered soooo many 
getting a bit twitchy now, its getting so close. we are feeling really confident, but trying to be realistic too, just in case..feels like the 2ww....

love to all

kj x


----------



## Emcon

Hi to all old and new

We went to matching panel last week and it was a unanimous yes, so 
we are now on count down, only 7 more sleeps to we meet our new daughter, we told our son last week and he is soooo excited. 

I became an aunt again yesterday and although I did feel sad that I will never again experience having my own child it didn' last long (who needs sleepless nights for at least 3 months and more stretch marks!!!) who I am kidding!! I actually found I was truly pleased for them and quite emotional about become an aunt again, it normally takes me about 3 months to get to this point! 

Jill - sorry to read that the nhs and gp have let you down, if you feel you can you should write, when I lost my grandad, I felt very let down but felt it wasn't my place to complain, this is something that still rankles!

Hi to everyone else, last week at work so desperately trying to clear my desk.

Em


----------



## askingangels

Hello

Im new to this thread. I used to be on the donor sperm thread. We decided to go through adoption after our unsuccessful txs. This was always an option for us to be honest but we wanted to give the tx a good go. Anyway we have had our initial meet with the sw and nearly completed the application form. Our prep group starts 2nd Nov. We are having our CRB checks tonight. I am so excited I feel like something is happening. I know its a long road but one I know will be made easier with the support on this website.

Be back soon

Askingangels xxx


----------



## jan welshy

Em, congratulations.

As for me, cardiologist said defo on the heart murmer, believes it will come back as 'innocent' but have to go for ultra sound next. God I hope this doesn't affect our adoption road.

Hope you are all well.


----------



## saphy75

New Home this way ---------> http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=69566.0


----------

