# Hearing about pregnancy



## rubster (Jul 26, 2011)

Hi ladies

One of the girls who was in my mother baby group called me today to tell me she is pregnant. Her son is 4, as is my daughter. She did six rounds for this pregnancy. I did 11 and nothing.

I know it was hard for her to make the call. I texted her after to say I was genuinely happy but that we'd just given up and I'd need some time before being ready to see her. She's very understanding.

Christ it's so hard tho. She lives over my back wall! I'm so gutted and feel pretty ashamed of myself for feeling this way. 

I feel like such a failure, like all I want to do is hide from all the mums in my estate who have 2, 3 and 4 kids

R xxx


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## HopeCove (Jul 28, 2013)

Hi rubster
I think we all know that feeling, it's awful isn't it? You know you should be happy for someone and you are, but you're still really sad for yourself. It sounds like you handled it brilliantly. Can I suggest you now pour yourself a large glass of wine? 

I never quite know what to say to newly pregnant people. If this treatment doesn't work I think we may give up because it doesn't feel like we are really living our lives anymore, just plodding along. So that's all I can think about as I smile gaily and offer heartfelt congratulations (I trained as an actress so I'm quite good at that sort of thing). Mentally I'm busy smearing their faces with mashed up banana. I know that doesn't make me a nice person, but hey ho .....

A big virtual hug is winging its way to you right now.
Xx


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## rubster (Jul 26, 2011)

Thanks HopeCove!

Yup - large glass(ess!!!!!!!!) of wine had been poured and consumed)

I've also just watched Bridesmaids. For the 47th time!!! Always good. I still feel a little sad. I've developed close 'infertility' (secondary) friendships with so many women. They have ALL gone on to get pregnant, and so I have just become a bit of an inconvenience, a reminder of a time so painful they would rather forget. It goes from me and them talking about how 'we' will handle everyone else and the emotional difficulties of having only kids, to them joining the everyone else (ranks of the mums of 2+) and me being left to feel like a loser. Awkward when we meet. they don;t really know what to say. It's just so poop. 

But it's totally fine.It will be. Not tonight, tomorrow or the day after, but eventually. 

Thanks again for your lovely message of support

r xxx


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## rubster (Jul 26, 2011)

and best of luck for the 20th!!!!!


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## Louisej29 (Nov 19, 2012)

Hugs rubster.  Its sooooooo hard.  I have lost count of the friends I no longer see/ talk to once they announce they are pregnant.  It's just too hard and I have to put myself first now.  Hopefully she will keep her distance for a bit- hard when she lives over the wall -  Pregnant people and people with lots of kids seem to be everywhere.  Argh.  I find work the hardest.  Non stop pregnancies and I'm forever avoiding everyone popping in with their newborns.  It's so painful x


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## Wisp (Mar 13, 2014)

I'm with you all on this, it does feel so, so hard and then on top of it all we end up feeling bad, about feeling bad when others get pregnant!  I've just had an outburst tonight about my Dh's ex's and how their bodies work fine and  why doesn't mine, how unfair it is etc, etc. I cant stand that they got pregnant 'first time', arghhh. I can understand how you feel Rubster when you say you feel like a failure, I do too. We're not, but that is how it feels.

Sending you a hug   Glad you had the wine and watched Bridesmaids! I love that film, when she goes mad and smashes the cake up! Brilliant.  That's what I feel like doing when I hear yet another pregnancy announcement!


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