# Question: Brother prepared to donate sperm, where can I go for Egg Donation?



## deddy (Jan 23, 2006)

Hi Guys,
I am hoping you can help me.  I am now 50 and single, but want a baby.  My brother has kindly agreed to donate sperm, but I can't find anywhere in Europe where this is proving possible, simply because donations have to be anonymous.
Can anyone help please?  Time obviously isn't on my side


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I used a known donor and donor eggs in uk & Spain, some clinics may have an issue with your ages though- have you tried eastern Europe, USA south africa


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Hmm, I think it's OK to use a known donor like JJ (and others) do, because he is treated as your 'partner' - whereas a brother can't be seen in that way - am pretty sure eastern Europe (certainly Czech anyway) would not accept brother as donor, as they can't assume he's your partner
Ukraine may be an option? Also worth a call to Penny at Serum in Athens?

Have you tried UK clinics? I'm not sure what the age cut off is here, you may be very close to it but there are some clinics which would potentially look at things on a case by case basis and make a decision accordingly (rather than having a blanket policy) - CRM and LWC both have relatively short (6-9 mths) waiting lists for donor eggs and would have no problem with brother as donor as long as you both attended a counselling session

I guess your other option is the US but this will prob work out very expensive (I'm assuming you're in the UK)

best of luck
Suitcase
x


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## RichmondLass (Apr 26, 2009)

You would get treatment in Spain at 50. I'm surprised you haven't been able to get an ok to use a 'known donor' in any of these countries you've tried. If you got to Czech could you persuade someone to join you - or sign - as your partner and then your bro is known donor? RL


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

RL - that won't work in Czech these days I'm afraid, they've really tightened up - it's illegal to use a known donor so the donor has to be assumed to be your partner and sign paperwork accordingly. And since he needs to turn up to 'do the deed' as it were, it wouldn't work for this person to be your brother...

I am assuming it is important to you that your brother is the donor deddy?
If you are prepared to/happy to use an anon donor then that would simplify things considerably as you could then have tx at any number of European clinics with double donor sperm and egg - although both donors would then of course be anonymous

Suitcase
x


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

Deddy - all the best on your journey - I hear more and more of ladies having to go down the DE route use a sperm donation from a sibling so as there is still a genetic link so to speak.


Not sure if it would work in Czech, but Serum in Athens maybe the option.  I know a lady from Australia who used to post on here was going down the same route.


All the best.


Mini xx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

have you thought of doing it the other way around and taking the stance that your brother wants a child as a single man, as when we were looking at surrogacy the laws were much 'kinder' to men here, so the single or gay men using you as his surrogate and needing donor eggs to help produce a baby is legal, whereas a single woman wanting to be a mother isn't- LWC were willing to go with this for us.  As a surrogate can be single in the UK. 
Good Luck


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## bingbong (Dec 9, 2008)

Suity could they not say that the brother is her husband? I know that it might feel a bit weird pretending that but as you both have the same surname (I assume) you'd have to be 'married' but I doubt that they need any actual proof that you are married. 


bingbong x


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## Passenger42 (Jan 27, 2010)

Hi Deddy

I was thinking exactly the same thing as what Bingbong has posted.  My clinic did not ask to see a marriage certificate (why should they as they treat singles and couples alike).  They just want your passport number and you ensure on the forms that you live at the same address.  My partner's sperm was frozen directly after the 1 hour consultation and we also paid for a DNA fragmentation test as he is 52, therefore he then didn't even have to be present at the egg transfer.  All the documents are sent to you in advance so that you have them prepared for the doctor's signature at your consultation meeting.

Also no mammogram was required either which saved time and money. Before I was with my partner I was considering doing the exact same thing you wish to do as at least you then have a genetic link to the child with family resemblance etc.  I honestly think as long as you don't offer to give them this info about your partner being your brother, they will just assume he is your husband.  He will need to get all his STI tests done in the UK so you can scan them across in advance.

Good luck

Passenger x


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

good point BB and Passenger - why didn't I think of that   

hope you manage to work something out deddy   

Suitcase
x


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## deddy (Jan 23, 2006)

Thank you so much everyone for your kindness in taking the time to reply.

current situation is this:

1.  LWC is happy to take me, but case has been referred to the HFEA and they are saying that they have to take it to their ethics committee.  I am now challenging this - it is now common for women to give their sisters an egg and I am simply asking for some intellectual consistency on their part.  So all not abandoned on that front.  As you have said they would need bro to do the various tests and attend counselling

2.  Czech is out.  The donor has to be anonymous

3.  Starting to look for a Plan B and hope to contact a US clinic

4.  Will also contact Serum in Athens, so thanks very much for this idea

5.  I suspect bro would have nothing to do with the idea of being 'married' to his sister.  Great idea in extremis.

I share this just in case anyone else in my predicament jumps on line.

Thank you again,
Deddy


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

Deddy - thanks for the update and really hope the HFEA start seeing sense - after all you are 100% correct - a sister can donate an egg - so why in some circumstance can a brother not donate?  
I expect they're thinking the implication this would have on the child.  Why is it more accepting to say - my sister donated an egg so as to my brother donated sperm? Society has a lot to answer for - and I know its something mum mention to me a while back.
    that you get the right outcome.  I'd be inclined to stick with Serum - Czech don't treat singlies and this would probably send them into a tailspin! 


   Mini xx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Deddy great that you have clinics willing to assist you. It is common that unusual cases have to go to ethics committee, so for example all surrogacy cases have to and need counselling reports from all parties and this can be a sister carrying for her sister etc. Some clinics just take it to their own clinics ethics panel but HFEA regulate the clinics and they won't be prepared to risk loosing their license

L x


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

I have a feeling the reason HFEA are querying it is not because brother is donating sperm per se, but rather because there is also an egg donor involved. 

I seem to recall that at CRM cases are referred to ethics committee when double donation is involved - this usually applies to single women (so you could argue is discriminatory) but when I queried it, they did say that couples using both egg and sperm donor would also be referred (it's just you get far fewer of those as usually it's either the man or woman who needs a donor and not both)

Ultimately HFEA/clinics are looking to the best interests of the child so presumably if you can demonstrate you've thought this through and know what/how you will tell the child and how you will best protect their interests then I would imagine they would be more inclined to give permission?

best of luck
Suitcase
x


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