# 44, single, underactive thyroid and high FSH :o( ^



## dcon_blue (Apr 25, 2007)

Hello ladies

This is my first posting (only found this forum yesterday and it already has scrapped me up off the floor) and I'm sorry it's turned out to be the length of war and peace.

Despite being 44 and single ... I am only just starting the journey that most of you have been on for years.  Given my real lack of time and someone in the real world to discuss this with (I haven't told any family or friends that I'm actually doing this) ... I need some advice from the experts and I can see from this forum that this means you ladies and most definitely not my GP.

The only thing I've ever really wanted is a family of my own and after spending toooo many years with guys that it turned out didn't want children ... or at least not with me   ... I am all of a sudden I'm the wrinkly spinster of the parish!  Anyway, my New Year's promise to myself was to try and make this year one to remember (for the right reasons) and to try my best to make my dreams come true ... by myself.

I know that at my age and being single I'd get zero help from the NHS.  This was confirmed in early January when I told my GP that my (fictitious) boyfriend and I were trying for a baby and given that I have an underactive thyroid and my age we were concerned and would like some advice.  My GP just wasn't interested and wished us 'good luck'.  So I resorted to the internet.  A basic search resulted in a good few sites but most seemed to be for couples.  The only ones I came across that seemed to consider single women (at the time) were the Bridge Centre, fertility4life, spermdirect and free sperm donations worldwide.  

I thought I'd start with the Bridge Centre and so I called them to ask about their fertility tests and if they saw single women without GP referrals.  Immediately the woman I was speaking to told me that they could see me without a GP referral but that I had to understand that they had had no successful IVF treatments for women aged 44 and above with their own eggs and I had to consider donor eggs.  This came as quite a shock and to be honest upset me quite a bit, cos as at the time I just wanted to know if I could have my fertility levels assessed ... so I abandoned the Bridge Centre.

Feeling disheartened I returned to my GP and asked if he could do the fertility tests (didn't mentioned the Bridge Centre).  He looked at me as though I was mad and said that the FSH test (didn't mention any other) didn't measure fertility ... the only accurate measure of fertility was getting pregnant.  Anyway he agreed to do the test and told me to make an appointment to see the phlebotomist.  He didn't mention when this test should be taken ... and since at the time I was new to all this ... I didn't know to ask.  I made the appointment for the following week.  Two days later I get a call from the receptionist saying that my blood test needed to be taken on day 21 and so could I reschedule when I knew when this would be!!

Then I registered with fertility4life (to get fertility testing) and spermdirect and free sperm donations worldwide (my preference was to know the donor).

Up to now I have had my day 21 and day 3 blood tests done through fertility4life (£220).  Although I'm waiting for the official results, I've been told that all, apart from my FSH, is within 'normal' levels.  My FSH is 29 which I was told was higher than the top end of the normal range of 22/23 and that home insemination is not a good option for me ... and that I need to see a consultant for a scan and to discuss the results and my future treatments (another £220). Please ... any/all advice welcome.

Also ... I really want to consider using my own eggs before considering the need for donor eggs and I have come across the Malpani Infertility Clinic in Indian which has a very impressive (well to me anyhow) explanation of how older, patients with high FSH levels can be treated. Again ... any experiences or comments? Does sound logical? Does anyone know of other (nearer) clinics offering similar services/treatments?

And another thing ... given the lack of donor sperm in the UK ... am I right in thinking that going abroad for treatment is a better (more immediate) option given my ever diminishing fertility?

And finally ... being single, cost is a real factor.  I need to save as much as I can for baby  (PMA) ... so is it really cost effective to go abroad for treatments?

Soooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrry again for such a long posting and so many questions  ... but I am so running out of time 

dcon_blue
xx


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hi there *dcon blue* and welcome to the site honey  

I admire your strength at persevering with this hun - the GP's can be very dismissive of infertility tests/questions so you have done very well to battle through and admit yourself privately! Well done you! There is no reason in my mind why you shouldnt be able to have IVF with donor sperm just because you are over 40! In fact, we have a wonderful board on here for ladies who are over 40 and TTC! One of my special FF is 40 years old and she is in Spain at the moment have FET!

Anyway, I will stop waffling on - I cant answer your questions directly - I'm afraid my FSH level hasnt been measured for years because at age 25yrs it was over 80  as I suffer from POF.

Here are some links to the boards I think you will find most interesting - please feel free to post anywhere you like on FF dcon blue, you will always be made welcome!

For Over 40's TTC *CLICK HERE**

For Treatment Abroad CLICK HERE

For Single Women TTC CLICK HERE

For Donor Sperm/Eggs CLICK HERE

We also have a fantastic chatroom - it is often good to talk to people who really understand you  Every Friday night is NEWBIE NIGHT in the chatroom, and Dizzi Squirrel, Kate and I will be in there from 8pm to 9pm to show new members the ropes and answer any questions. I hope you can join us. Don't worry if you can't make it - if you want some help just send Dizzi Squirrel  or myself a personal message and we can arrange a short one2one session with you.



Wishing all your dreams come true 
Love and 
Tracy
xx

PS - I have to use donor eggs hun, and have known this for a long time now - so if it comes to the stage where you would like more info on the issues surrounding the use of donor eggs, please don't hesitate to send me a personal message and I will help as much as I can x*


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## allison kate (Aug 9, 2005)

Hi Dcon Blue

Welcome to FF hunni, I'm sure you'll settle in very quickly.

Miss TC has pipped me to the post as I was going to say, come and join us on the Golden Oldies thread, where you'll get some great advice and there are also some amazing stories of pg's against the odds, which I am sure will give you hope in your quest.

I can't really give you any advice about clinics in the UK hunni, as I live abroad but I'm sure there will be someone along soon who can give you some good advice.  

Best of luck 
Allison xx


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi dcon blue and welcome to the site 

Im sorry to hear of your problems in trying for a baby. You have come to a fantastic site full of advice and support and you have been left some great links to try.

Good luck with everything.

Kate xx​


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## Alley (Aug 13, 2006)

Hi there

Just thought I'd say welcome. Also, lots of overseas places can work out very cost effective - the treatment can be a lot cheaper and if you can get cheap flights/hotel sometime still cost less than the UK.

I know this is jumping the gun a bit... but there is a clinic in Spain that has embyos ready and waiting for donation. I am saying this becasue I find this a comforting fact,  knowing that ultimately  if all else fails there are still a chance of a baby 

Good luck

Alley x


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## dcon_blue (Apr 25, 2007)

Wow ... thank you Miss TC, Allison, Kate, Alley and Jen.  It's great to know that I can share my thoughts with some lovely, sympathetic people.  You're all right this site is brilliant!  I'm addicted already! I'm dizzy and numb reading all these threads but each one is giving me some much hope and building my confidence.

Because I've been feeling so utterly exhausted, down, forgetful and with really poor levels of concentration (sound lovely don't I  )  
today I plucked up courage and went to the doctors again.  This time I saw a lady doctor who seemed to be much more supportive. Straight away she told me that my TSH level in January was 1.23 and normal  but that she recommend we retest to make sure they were still OK and while we were at it we might as well test for FSH, antibodies (rubella), kidney, liver, colestoral and a few other things which I can't remember. A real MOT!

She also suggested that, given my age, I should think about how long I would want to try the natural way before considering a consultation with a fertility specialist given my age (as far as doctor is concerned I still have the imaginary boyfriend )  She said that although I couldn't get IVF treatment I could get a consultation!  Of course she made no promises and kept reminding me of my age (just in case I had forgotten ... I wish I could). Anyway, all in all, I came out of her surgery feeling as though I had been listened to and taken seriously, which I hadn't done before and so a lot better than I thought I would.

Despite this though I do have one concern.  Again she has said the blood test for FSH should be on day 21.  She said that FSH levels peaked on day 21 and day 3 was the base level.  Has anyone ever heard of this? Even more confused now.

Anyway on a lighter note ... it's been a lovely sunny day and today I was wearing a 'fashionable' smock top with my jeans. Now I know I have a few pounds to loose (5'3" and a size 14) but when I was chatting with the postman he thought I was PG    Should I:
(a) Feel insulted 
(b) Take his comment as a good omen 
(c) Start a new diet 

dcon_blue
xx

PS What does TX mean?? )


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hey Dcon blue

Glad the doctor was able to give you some advice hun and that you felt she really listened to you. Sometimes GP's can be so dismissive of infertility issues 

The FSH levels are usually done on day 21 as she told you. I am not sure of the reasons why, but why not post your question on our Peer Support board? I am sure you will get lots of advice. The Peer Support board is for all us members to post our questions and other members who have experienced our situation etc give their advice and support. Obviously not trained medical advice, but hey, these girls are more experienced than most GP's when it comes to infertility!!

For Peer Support click on this link http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=186.0

TX = Treatment honey Here is the link to the Abbreviations board which will let you in on all the jargon on here  http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/index.php?option=com_glossary&Itemid=120

As for your postman's comment  cheeky bugger! I am 5' 4" and am a size 12/14 ! I have to say though I am on a constant diet, so maybe answer (c)   However if I was you I would just choose to take it as a good omen, although the reason he asked is cos of the smock top! I love smock tops and have loads of them, but they aren't the most flattering of things! I wear them all the time with the express purpose of covering up my fat ass! 

Take good care hun
Love
Tracy
x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Hi and welcome, you will find many women in your position.

I am single and TTC with a known donor (my friend) and was originally at the Bridge and did get pregnant but m/c and then had an unsuccessful cycle in Feb and have changed clinics.

Do come and join us on the single women's thread, http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=84192.240
and there is great advice on the lesbian thread (as we all have the same problem- need sperm)
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=91748.0

Many of the girls have conceived with known or unknown donor sperm, and there are the issues associated with using donor sperm are discussed. Some have conceived here, and other abroad (not all countries will treat single women, as not all clinics here will).

Also you need you GP on board eventually, so don't tell them too many porkies, as they have to fill in 'the welfare of the child forms' is you are having IVF-a **** requirement.

You are correct that you will have to self fund and it is more expensive using a known donor (friend) who is not your husband/partner by about 2000 pounds as you have to have additonal tests and have the sperm quarantined for 6 months so another time delay, for the clinic to comply with ****.

I can't understand why they did FSH on D21, FSH is usually done on Day 1-3 (or 5 depending on clinic). Progesterone is done on D21 to ensure that you have ovulated.

Are you based in London, other places that take single women are Barts, the Lister, London Women's Clinic- maybe it is worth going for a consultation ( a second opinion with your test results) and see what they have to say. Another great preganncy/fertility place that can advise but is not a clinic- is Zita West clinic, like getting FSH down, diets for fertility, hypnotherapy to remain positive etc.

Accupuncture is also great for helping getting the body in tune for getting pregnant, I can recommend a great fertility accupuncturist who that many FF girls use if you PM me (if you are in London).

There is also a thread for the ladies over 40. My friend was 44 when she started on IVF using her own eggs and wasn't turned away, she was at Barts.

Take and best of luck.
Good luck
Lx


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## dcon_blue (Apr 25, 2007)

Hello again

Tracy, (aka Miss TC) ... thank-you so much for the Friday night chat for newbies ... it was fun!  I normally chat to friends on the likes of MSN, but chatting to 'strangers' on a different chat program was so much easier that I thought it would be.

JJ1 ... hello and lovely to hear from you.  I have read many of your posts and although you don't know me I feel as though I know you quite well.  What you have been through and how you've shared it on this site has been a great comfort to me and I'm sure many others.  Thank-you.

I know I have to come clean wrt to my imaginary boyfriend and my GP ...  it's just that being single, childless and 44 makes me feel like such a failure.  I don't think of this of others in similar circumstances, I know this is my problem and I don't want to offend anyone.  Also I have had an on/off boyfriend for the past three years, so it wasn't a complete fib, but to be honest he's been such a waste of space that I'm better off without him  

Please forgive me but what is the 'welfare of the child report'?  Would this still be done if I opt for treatment abroad?  Do I have to tell my GP if I go abroad? 

No I'm not in London. I live in Warwick but mum is in Manchester so I'm constantly travelling back and forth.  Warwick to London is only 1hr 40mins on the train so I suppose I could do either Manchester or London. 

JJ1 .. your friend who was 44 and using her own eggs at Barts ... was she successful? Given my advanced years I have to find the clinic that can offer the best treatment for 'aged' mums ...  The second to this I have to cost the costs involved ... I'm sure I'm not alone here when I say that funds are limited.

Well I went to Holland and Barretts yesterday and got a big fat tub of Agnus Castus (special offer reduced from £10+ to £5.33).  Here's hoping it can bring down an FSH level of 29.4 to a reasonable level ... am I hoping for the impossible?

Bye for now

Dcon_blue

PS ... Apologies in advance for such a noddy question but how do I join another thread or board?  Do I have to officially 'join' or do I just start a new topic or post a reply? Thanks


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## daisyg (Jan 7, 2004)

Hi dcon blue,

Sadly, you have to have a very steep learning curve in this game as there is no time to waste at your age.  I was 43 when I started trying and didn't find success (with donor egg) until I had had four miscarriages (3 with own eggs) and had gone to 2 london clinics and one US one and finally success at IVI Valencia in Spain with donor embryos.  Sadly, I found the cause of the m/cs too late for my own eggs but I am delighted with the outcome as I now have twins at the age of 47 (and also single) and am extremely happy.

Basically you have a very, very low chance of a live birth with ivf in this country at the age of 44.  Those are the facts, I'm sorry.  More women of your age get pregnant naturally or with injectable cycles and sex with a partner or IUI possibly.  Chances increase with ivf the more embryos you make and put back (optimum being 5) but sadly this country only allows max. 3.

Having given you the bad stuff (sorry) I would advise that you get an appointment with a top fertility clinic who has had success with over 40s (particularly at your age) NOW.   You might like to try the Lister or the London Fertility Centre, or Care Nottingham/Manchester to start with.  You may have to travel for this I am afraid.  I personally would not recommend the Bridge - not good stats. or rep. (IMHO)

Firstly,  you need your blood hormone levels measured on day 1 - 3 of your menstrual cycle.  You need FSH, LH, E2 (oestrogen) and prolactin measured on one of these days asap to determine (roughly) what your fertility status might be and what treatment you might start with.  You also need a day 21 progesterone level check which will see whether you are ovulating naturally or not (important for iui or home insemination!) .  Another important test is to be scanned to see the state of your uterus (no fibroids, polyps etc) and also to be scanned at the start of your cycle to see how many antral follicles you have as this can predict how you may respond to meds. in a stimulated cycle.

I would also recommend having your thyroid properly looked at and under control before you cycle.  If possible, I would also have many of the tests mentioned on the investigations and immunology board, e.g. Blood clotting, thyroid, thyroid antibodies, insulin resistance, karotyping, auto immune issues etc.  You also need to check your tubes are clear - with an HSG - pointless trying to conceive without ivf if tubes blocked.  This is why you need to be signed up with a good clinic immediately.

You also have the problem of donor sperm.  I am not up to date with this because I cycled so long ago, so you need to get this in place as well.  I imported donor sperm (identity release) from California Cryobank to Spain and you may find you can do this to the UK too (check this out thoughas may be incorrect info.).  The clinic might suggest you start with an IUI (Intra Uterine Insemination).  Again, don't spend too long doing this before doing ivf - you have to get a move on.

Basically, you need to eliminate as many issues which may affect your fertility as possible, otherwise you will waste time.  The first step is to sign up with a clinic and get those day 3 tests done asap.  GPs are absolutely useless ref. fertility so do not waste any time with them.

You may also consider going abroad if you have the money.  If you could afford it, I would recommend going to the USA as they have the best results for over 40s in the world.  You could also investigate some of the Eastern European, clinics who may be open to your age and ivf with own eggs.  I would also highly recommend IVI Valencia which is one of the best clinics in Europe.  They may treat with your own eggs at your age.  They are also one of the top clinics in Europe for PGD, which may be relevant to you.

I won't pretend this is easy - it isn't.  BUT perseverence will hopefully pay.  The thing you must be is proactive and move fast.  

I have researched this and lived this since I was 43.  BUT I did know I could get pregnant (termination at 37) and also had no issues with donor sperm (at that time) and got pregnant very easily.  You need to find out fast whether this is an option.  If not, don't forget that donor egg is a wonderful opportunity and may be the answer eventually.  However, I completely understand your desire to try with your own eggs and believe you should give yourself the best chance.

I would not recommend taking any herbs at all at the moment.  You don't know the true results of your FSH test as you have not been tested correctly and they can intefere with any fertility meds. you may have to take.  I would recommend starting a good prenatal vitamin now (recommend Marilyn Glenville's Fertility Blend for Women) and also taking extra folic acid starting now.

Let me know if you need any other info.

Daisy
x


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## Juniper (Dec 13, 2005)

Just wanted to say Hi 

welcome to FF

and good luck on your quest

     

Everyone on here is soooo helpful, kind and supportive, it makes the whole business a bit more bearable.

Juniper
x


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## EJ_wales (Mar 8, 2007)

I also just wanted to say welcome.

Didn't know if anyone had answered before me but Tx means treatment.

Things like this are difficult when you have people to talk to so i fully admire you for going it alone.  

Best wishes...


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Hi dcon blu

Unfortunately my friend at 44 didn't get pregnant, money is no object to her, but they had set a limit of 3 cycles for emotional reasons not finance.  Her (female) partner is 5 years younger has a child already, and so they decided that instead of donor eggs the other partner would try and get pregnant aain herself. They imported sperm from the USA for her cycles, but due to the changes in the law they are now going to have cycles in the USA and use the other lady's  family member as a donor so have genes from both families, and hopefully a baby in their household.

Best of luck
L X


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## dcon_blue (Apr 25, 2007)

Hi FF 

Daisy thank-you so much for your frank and honest post ... I'm actually out of work at the moment and I have some savings and so I think I'll will bite the bullet immediately and see how fast I can go  I'm sorry to hear you've had such a hard time but at the same time it's great to her that you have at last your precious twins.

I have had some tests done already (via www.fertility4life.com) and I was told that all apart from the FSH were within their expected ranges. I now have the official printed results but the figures mean nothing to me.  They have suggested I see a consultant, which I really do want, but I want to see the best guy for me ... which may not be the the fertility4life consultant ... and so I'd travel the world to see the right guy. You mentioned that you think the US has the best fertility treatment for over 40s ... would you recommend any particular clinics?  Since you have experienced treatment in three different countries do you see a significant difference between countries or is the difference down to individual clinics?

Incidentally which clinic in Valencia did you finally get your happy ending? 

Anyway, I'm having my Thyroid tested again on Wednesday (@ GPs) along with a bunch of other things ... I may as well since at least these are free 

Juniper ... I know I've only 'been here' a week but everyone has been so supportive.  Even just reading other people's posts has made such a difference ... before discovering this forum I was feeling very isolated and at times very down at all.  Now when I'm down I just read more and more of this site   So have you started your IVF treatments yet?  How is it going? I wish you and your fella tons and tons of .

EJ_Wales ... thanks for your good wishes and definition of TX.  I was using transaction and transfer and things didn't always read right. Doh!  I see you're being referred to St Mary's in Machester.  I don't know of anyone who has been there for treatment (in fact I don't know of anyone who has had received infertility treatment) so I'm only speaking as an ex-Manc resident but St Mary's has a superb reputation. I hope it isn't long before you can see for yourself.

Thanks again ladies for your replies


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## dcon_blue (Apr 25, 2007)

JJ1 ... thanks for replying.  For all that I'm hearing it certainly looks as though I've missed the boat  but I think I'm gonna have to go through much, much heart ache and prove it for myself.  Where do all those years go?  Why have I waited so long before starting this journey? I'm so angry with myself.

Thanks again


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Denise hun I have sent you a PM (personal message)

Love
Tracy
xx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Don't feel so down, you may not have missed the boat- I know a lady who thought she had gone through the menopause at 46 and found herself pregnant first baby, unplanned and she was upset by it- loves her to bits now but resentful at first!!

x


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## dcon_blue (Apr 25, 2007)

JJ1 ... thanks for this ray of hope  

xx


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## dcon_blue (Apr 25, 2007)

Hi JJ1 ... I don't suppose you know what clinic your friend when to when she was 44 and trying with own eggs?  I'm running out of clinics to try 

dcon_blue


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## dcon_blue (Apr 25, 2007)

Doh!  Sorry JJ1 ... ignore me I have just re-read your original email and have seen that it was St Barts that she went to.


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## daisyg (Jan 7, 2004)

dcon_blue,

Don't understand - why are you running out of clinics to try?

Ref. your other post. It is not so much the consultant you need to find as the clinic - this is the important criterion. The ones I mentioned are the best for over 40s in this country - I would recommend you get a phone or face to face consult with one or more asap. You will see a consultant when you go. You can also do phone consults with the US ones.

I don't know anything about Fertility for Life and don't know how good their testing services are. They are not a recognised fertility centre however. I would recommend that you go to a fertility clinic for a consultation. Once again, no success rates for your age group mentioned and no breakdown of how these pgs were achieved or whether they proceeded to live births.

The clinic I went to in the US is Cornell, which is no. 2 in the US. The other is CCRM which is the no. 1 clinic in the US. I would not especially recommend SIRM as they do not publish their success rates on the government stats. and do not have consistent over 40 success, which the other 2 do.

http://www.ivf.org/stats.html

http://www.colocrm.com/rates2006.htm

The clinic where I had my twins (donor embryo) was IVI Valencia. They are one of the top clinics in Europe and may also be a place to try with your own eggs. However, even though I had got pg three times at age 44 (own eggs), they still recommended DE to me at that time. But they are very, very good and cheaper than ivf in the UK. I can only speak about DE ref. Valencia and they are excellent but it is a different process than doing ivf with own eggs.

The fact is the ivf stats. in the US are much better than the UK. Down to protocol, experience, money, ability to replace more embryos, better care, doctors who are reproductive endocrinologists etc. etc. Differences in the UK also vary. ARGC models itself very much on US style protocols and is no. 1 in country. I have given a list of some of the best in the UK in previous post. These are also best for over 40 (Lister, CARE Notts, UCH, Woking Nuffield, London Fertility Centre).

Sorry rambling now. I really feel for you as I was in the same position as you recently and I have learned so much the hard way! I felt so panicky at time running out. But my best advice would be to get to a good clinic asap and start from there. You can still consult by phone with the US or other clinics and even change clinics, but just get to a consultation asap and get scanned and get some investigations started which will help you to decide what your next move will be.

Daisy
x

Daisy
x


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