# Edinburgh Night Out!!!



## Peacelily35 (Mar 18, 2014)

Hi ladies,
              I haven't been on this site much but have been thinking of you lately and how most of us are on the same rollercoaster ride. Like all of you I'm sure, I try to get on with my life and not dwell on this fertility business too much - which is one of the reasons I don't check this site often. But of course it's always there and even when you try to forget about it you're reminded constantly. 

After having a miscarriage recently after my first round of IVF, I went out for dinner with a few friends. I couldn't believe how much they talked about their new babies (who they conceived at the drop of a hat), swapping pictures around and comparing sleepless nights. They talked a lot about the difficulties and hospital visits and nodded to me (as though their experience of hospital visits to have a baby were similar to my experience of having baby sucked out of me). I often see the sign in the waiting room in ERI 'The only thing more painful than having a baby is not being able to have one.' If only they understood this. I recently read an article about a woman getting fed up of friends complaining about their children and how much hard work they can be. She said:

'telling a friend that is suffering from infertility how hard it is bringing up children is like telling someone who is blind that you don't like wearing glasses.'

This analogy might seem a bit extreme but I think we can all relate to it.

I feel like I have a lot of empathy for friends and understand that they have their own lives and troubles. But on this occasion, only a week after my D&C, it seemed a little insensitive. I've found some people to be great and they try their best to say the right thing. I'm lucky that I have great parents and an amazing partner who is so supportive. I count myself lucky every day. But many of my friends have been surprisingly insensitive (or maybe I'm over-sensitive) but either way I spend less and less time with them. 

Anyway, it got me thinking - I don't have my next round/possibly frozen transfer until 2015. I plan to fit in more than a few nights out between now and then. If anyone fancies a few drinks and a rant (or a fertility free chat zone) in the next few months with people that 'get it' let me know and maybe we can organise a night out in Edinburgh.

p.s If I haven't put this on the correct section please share it. Thanks!

xxx


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