# Help I'm about to give up!!!



## angi (Oct 23, 2008)

Dear all
I've been trying for 8 years to concieve and have had 4 early miscarriages in this time - 3 of them in the last 18 months. We have been throu all the tests the hospital can give us but everything is coming back as normal.
Part of me wishes they would find something wrong so at least we would know what we are dealing with.

Originally i had trouble with conceiving but am now on chlomid.. after my 3rd miscarriage the doctors gave me pesseries when i next became pregnant to thicken my womb to help with the pregnancy - i went for an 8 week scan (being a paranoid pregnant mum) to find the baby had stopped growing at 5 weeks and i had lost another.
I have got to the point where i am seriously giving up any hope of ever becoming a mum, i cant bear the heartbreak and emptiness that comes after each miscarriage, my faith in my doctor has gone and so are my dreams. We have been told to wait until after christmas before trying again.. (that is like telling me to stop breathing..) but have been given steriods this time along with the pessaries to take if i fall again. My life is on hold and has been for some time now.. i gave up work with the last pregnancy to give it the "best chance" and have been off for 4 months now hoping to fall again. 
Please help.
Sometimes i feel so down especially when you hear of another friend who's expcting.. they seem to be coming thick and fast around me lately and thou i'm so pleased for them it makes my life seem really empty.
I'm scared of my future - a future without a child or a future with another miscarriage.
xxx


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## Tina xx (Aug 30, 2006)

Hi Angi, 

I'm so sorry for what you have been through   I'm sorry that I can't offfer you any advice, I  wanted to give you a huge hug    The girls on this site are fantastic and I know that someone will be able to give you some advice   Take care.

Tina xx


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## cawallinger (Aug 10, 2008)

Really sorry to read your post Angi  

I dont have any advice but sometimes I find work a welcome distraction from it all, esp when you are on the waiting game and its out of your hands.

Good luck with it all  

Catherine


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## angi (Oct 23, 2008)

Tina xx said:


> Hi Angi,
> 
> I'm so sorry for what you have been through  I'm sorry that I can't offfer you any advice, I wanted to give you a huge hug    The girls on this site are fantastic and I know that someone will be able to give you some advice  Take care.
> 
> Tina xx


Thanks Tina
Just having people about that you can message and know that theyve been throu similar helps so much. So thank you sweetie for just being there.

Angi
x


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## pip34 (Nov 19, 2006)

hi angi

you have been through so much hun, im so sorry for yr losses    i have had losses as well its very hard but with out this site i think i would have gone    especially after losing my son at 20wks.  we have a pregnancy loss thread on here and trying after loss etc if u feel u want to chat etc come on over and post it really helps,  there should be a mod on shorlty to give u some other great links to help u xxx

take care sweetie
love pip xxx


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## angi (Oct 23, 2008)

pip34 said:


> hi angi
> 
> you have been through so much hun, im so sorry for yr losses   i have had losses as well its very hard but with out this site i think i would have gone   especially after losing my son at 20wks. we have a pregnancy loss thread on here and trying after loss etc if u feel u want to chat etc come on over and post it really helps, there should be a mod on shorlty to give u some other great links to help u xxx
> 
> ...


Hiya pip
Im so sorry to hear about your losses too sweetie especially at 20 weeks i dont think i couldve coped. 
Im glad ive come across this site just knowing that there is others out there who understand is a great help and if i can find anything out to hit my doctor with at the same time has got to be a bonus!!!!
Are you still trying pip? weve been told to wait 3 months but it goes against everything i want!!!!

ang
xxx


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## LoisLane (Apr 26, 2007)

Angi 

Wishing you a warm welcome to FF hon . You have come to a fab place for mutual support, advice, laughter and friendship.

Sending you a huge cyber  for your losses. Wishing you all the luck in world that you get a healthy and happy pregnancy soon  .

I'm going to provide you with some links that will put you in touch with other members and also help you navigate around the FF site 

What Every New Member Needs to Know ~
CLICK HERE

Clomid ~CLICK HERE

TTC after loss -
CLICK HERE

Investigations & Immunology
CLICK HERE

Pregnancy loss CLICK HERE

Forget me not -~A place for our members to remember their loved but lost babies. CLICK HERE

A great area to get the lowdown on local clinics and meet others in your area
Locations
CLICK HERE

Newbie chat night, every Wednesday at 8pm
[url=http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=156791.msg2443608#msg2443608]CLICK HERE

That should keep you busy for a while, however don't don't forget to have a bit of fun while you are on FF and check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area

G&B - Community Fun board
CLICK HERE

To make the site easier to navigate click on the index tab at the top of any page - pink hearts mean there is something new within the board you have not read/looked at and if you scroll right down you will see the last ten posts from all over FF all are clickable  if you refresh this page (f5) it will update the last ten posts as well as the boards/threads and who's online!!!

Take some time to look at the *help tab* too 

Sending you lots of  and .

Please just ask away if there is anything you are unsure of .

Louj


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## lucymorgan (Nov 2, 2007)

Angi,

so sorry hun.

I know its really hard, i've had 3 m/cs and now cant even get pregnant without assistance.  But I hear stories that inspire me such as where a woman had 5 m/cs and then a DS.  You just have to give it your best shot and then know when its right to stop.  And hopefully it all works out, but not always the way you thought it would.  I never thought I would be in a place where I was using DE.  But I am and hopefully it will work for me and I pray I dont have another m/c.  All I can think is that I want to give it my best shot so I have no regrets when I look back over my life. 

Lucy M


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## angi (Oct 23, 2008)

lucymorgan said:


> Angi,
> 
> so sorry hun.
> 
> ...


Hiya Lucy
How long did you have to wait for your DE? Weve been told at least 2 years wait. We recently looked into adoption but were declined because we're still trying to concieve (you have to have stopped trying for at least 6 months before theyll even consider you) Dont think i'll ever stop trying - may lose all hope which is where i am now.. im so disappointed with myself.. its like im in denial now.. ive started smoking and drinking too much.. its like im fighting it - im so angry with my lot -and i know all im doing is decreasing my chances of falling!!
Good luck to you with your DE sweetie.. good things come eventually!!!
xxx


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## Shell 2 (Oct 26, 2008)

Hi angie

I am new to the site Ive just  read your message and my heart goes out to you. I know the last thing you need to hear is I know how you feel but i kind of do.  Me and my husband have been trying for 13 years to conceive, Ive had 3 miscarriages and have unexplained infertility now for 8 yrs. We have been through fertility treatment for 3 years and boy is it tuff. Ithink you have done the right thing by coming on hear as reading everyones comments we are not alone in how we feel and I think that is good to know. As hard as it is I think you just have to try and stay positive and keep trying and just prey for a successfull end, thats how I get through each day any way.

Sendingyou a hug of courage

Shell 2


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## lucymorgan (Nov 2, 2007)

Hi ANgi,

I am doing DE abroad as the waiting time in the UK is not an option for me (I am already older than I wanted to be) plus its also a lot cheaper.  I also considered adoption but having spoken to our local agency that wont work for us either.  To be honest if we could have gone that route I wouldn't have told them I was ttc otherwise time just motors away.

There are tests that I had done at the miscarriage clinic on Harley Street which were additional tests to a lot carried out in hospitals.  I can find out what they were but will need to check my files.  I also have spoken a woman on ff who was in her early 30s with repeat m/cs and she had IVF with PDG and they told her all their embies looked abnormal so she went onto DE and was successful.  Also the IVF clinic in Athens do a lot of checks on a woman's womb cavity as this can prevent pregnancy and cause m/cs.  They like an aquascan to check this plus a hysotocospy if required.  With my last m/c I got them to analyse the tissue and it showed a chromosome abnormality, it really helped knowing this was why and that there wasn't another reason.  I had felt really guilty as I thought I might have done something to cause it.

I have also slipped back into sporadic smoking and have drunk too much at times and then feel terrible as I feel I should be super healthy.  Its a way for the stress to come out but probably not the best way. 


LucyMxx


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

Hi Angi

First, a big welcome hug to FF!

I can't even imagine what you are going through, words fail me.  I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriages.  I hope the lovely people on the loss thread will be able to help you.

I think the lovely ladies here have given you some great advice, I wish you all the luck in the world with whatever you decide.

Sue


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## angi (Oct 23, 2008)

Shell 2 said:


> Hi angie
> 
> I am new to the site Ive just read your message and my heart goes out to you. I know the last thing you need to hear is I know how you feel but i kind of do. Me and my husband have been trying for 13 years to conceive, Ive had 3 miscarriages and have unexplained infertility now for 8 yrs. We have been through fertility treatment for 3 years and boy is it tuff. Ithink you have done the right thing by coming on hear as reading everyones comments we are not alone in how we feel and I think that is good to know. As hard as it is I think you just have to try and stay positive and keep trying and just prey for a successfull end, thats how I get through each day any way.
> 
> ...


Oh shell
13 years is such a long time sweetie.. but we're fighters i guess and not prepared to give up on our dreams.
This site has been really helpful.. i wish i'd found this years ago - I now have questions and suggestions to put forward instead of taking what my consultant says as gospel!
Wishing you everything you wish for yourself babes and always here if you need a chat ok
Ang
xxx


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## angi (Oct 23, 2008)

lucymorgan said:


> Hi ANgi,
> 
> I am doing DE abroad as the waiting time in the UK is not an option for me (I am already older than I wanted to be) plus its also a lot cheaper. I also considered adoption but having spoken to our local agency that wont work for us either. To be honest if we could have gone that route I wouldn't have told them I was ttc otherwise time just motors away.
> 
> ...


Dear Lucy
Thanks for your message it helps knowing that there's people out there who know how you're feeling and aren't going to fob you off with the usual 'it'll happen in all good time'.
I wish after talking to people on here that i'd asked more questions with each mis instead of just seeing that it couldnt be helped!!! Finally i want answers!!!!
Weve been down the adoption route too.. were told because were trying naturally that they wont even consider us!! How stupid is that eh with all them poor kids in care.. my partner wont foster - he says he'd get too attached and would be heartbroken when they go... me... I'd do both and probably at the same time too.. ive so much love to give a child!!!!
Did you have to refer yourself to the miscarriage clinic at harley street?
I wouldnt even know how to go about it?
Good luck with the DE ive got everything crossed for you.. is a route i may end up going down myself soon.. and thanks for the words of wisdom on the smoking and drinking.. i know ive got to stop and beat myself up for doing it but not sure i can cope at the mo too well.

Take care sweetie
Ang
xxx


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## Shell 2 (Oct 26, 2008)

thanx Ang . Here for you if ever you want a chat 2
Shell 2  x


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