# Feeling sad about friendship



## Ditzygirl (Jun 8, 2016)

My friend is due her baby soon and I feel like I've missed out on everything. This whole situation has been really awkward for us both but she has tried to support me. I just feel like I've missed out on such a huge part of her life and when the baby comes along her life will change completely and I'll be left behind, just the sad infertile friend that people feel sorry for!! Not really looking for an answer, just a little moan. x


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## Rio2016 (Aug 24, 2016)

Hello, sending love to you. 

It's so hard. Lots of my friends have had babies in the years i've been trying. Some have even had two! I find it hard and they sometimes put their foot in it, but I try and see them for short periods of time for a cuppa and a cuddle. 

Do you live nearby? Could you meet her for a cup of tea and maybe bring something little for the baby? I totally get that it is upsetting but hopefully your friend will understand if you get upset or don't know what to say. Sending hugs xx


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## kittykat76 (Jan 17, 2016)

Most of my friends have kids now but instead of cutting myself out I make an effort to see them and be involved with the kids a bit also. No one expects you to be doing cartwheels but they will appreciate the effort and hopefully be sensitive in return- if they aren't then they don't deserve your friendship. It sounds like your friend is well aware of how hard it will be for you which is a good starting point and you can work through it together. They are always slightly obsessed with baby at the start but that doesn't last so maybe just have a short visit for 1st one then take it gradually. I always find it gives me hope that one day it will be me. Sending you hugs


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## Rio2016 (Aug 24, 2016)

P.S Just seen your bio. I'm 4 months since my last BFN so feeling a bit more positive. You could always wait a few more weeks if the idea of seeing a baby makes you sad. I've avoided all baby showers in the last year. I've also avoided being with two mums together! Easier one on one, or with a mum and a person who hasn't had a baby yet


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## Ditzygirl (Jun 8, 2016)

Thanks for your responses ladies. Rio2016 - yeah times is a healer. I'm sure I'll be feeling a bit  more positive over the coming weeks. She hasn't had the baby yet and I'm seeing her this week.  I'm planning on bringing her a few small gifts. Little things for her. I'll see her again when the baby is born and bring a gift.

Nice advice kittykat  - will make the first time visit a shortish one. xxx


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## kejij (Jun 25, 2016)

I think so many people will feel the way you do about this as it seems to go in phases- everyone seems to get married in certain yrs and next thing they're all having babies.  I would agree with the other posters, go for a short while and a hug and avoid 2mothers together. You can always have a quiet cry on the way home! You shouldn't feel bad about wanting to be pregnant yourself and I'm sure you don't wish your friend any harm. She'll understand stay strong but at the same time allow yourself to feel sad sometimes.


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