# Should I try again??



## Titch81

Hi All,

I’m new to this but feeling a bit desperate at the minute so thought I’d reach out…
I’ve just turned 40 - my first cycle of IVF was cancelled due to them only finding one follicle 💔 the doctors have told me that they won’t be looking for alternatative protocols as, and I quote ‘ it’s just not worth it!’ 
Has this happened to anybody else? Is it worth me paying private and getting a second opinion? I felt from the start that something about this cycle wasn’t right as it had to be postponed twice due to me bleeding - then once I did start with the medication I started bleeding the next day but the nurses told me to just carry on with the injections. I don’t know if I’m just prolonging the inevitable but any advice would be much appreciated…
Thanks 💛 xx


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## jdm4tth3ws

Sorry for the pain you are feeling right now. 

Would you consider donor products? Or even embryo adoption? The medication protocol is so much easier on your body. 

Maybe some tests to find out why you kept bleeding through medication? 

If you do consider donor products in any form, I would recommend going abroad. Usually, the clinics listen to you more, are more hygienic than UK and they don't tend to do a one size fits all approach like the UK. Lastly, it is more economical, even factoring flights and accommodation in. 

I hope you find your way to achieving your dreams. 

Take care. 

Jdm.


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## miamiamo

I am sorry you are going through this. I would recommend getting the 2nd opinion, as time plays a huge role in fertility, particulary at the age 40+. All the best


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## Titch81

jdm4tth3ws said:


> Sorry for the pain you are feeling right now.
> 
> Would you consider donor products? Or even embryo adoption? The medication protocol is so much easier on your body.
> 
> Maybe some tests to find out why you kept bleeding through medication?
> 
> If you do consider donor products in any form, I would recommend going abroad. Usually, the clinics listen to you more, are more hygienic than UK and they don't tend to do a one size fits all approach like the UK. Lastly, it is more economical, even factoring flights and accommodation in.
> 
> I hope you find your way to achieving your dreams.
> 
> Take care.
> 
> Jdm.


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## Titch81

Thank you so much for responding.. The hospital have put me on a waiting list for a donor egg as it is a two year wait but I don’t know if it is the route we want to go down just yet. They haven’t given me any information about the process so I’m just ‘googling’ it and trying to find information out for myself. 
i have thought about trying a clinic abroad but there are so many and I feel a bit clueless on what to look for - I foolishly just thought that it would work straight away 💔 I just feel a bit hopeless and lost at the minute which is what I’m sure most people going through this feel..
Thanks again xXx


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## catherine12

Hi; I would just like to add it depends on what your numbers were before your ivf cycle I.e. Amh, follicle count, fsh, as these are a big indicator of success. I had many many rounds of ivf from 41-44 with no success so I understand how it feels when it doesn’t work, but I am 46 now and have had to accept that I won’t ever have children as I wasnt willing to explore other options other than OE, as it didn’t feel right for us. I think it is great that others do try other routes because otherwise you may have regrets as you get older, sometimes I do but that passes and I remind myself as I know from talking with friends having kids doesn’t instantly make you happy it brings its own set of problems as well.


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## Titch81

miamiamo said:


> I am sorry you are going through this. I would recommend getting the 2nd opinion, as time plays a huge role in fertility, particulary at the age 40+. All the best


Thank You! I do think getting a second opinion is the best idea.. I wouldn’t settle knowing that I never tried!
Thanks ❤


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## Titch81

catherine12 said:


> Hi; I would just like to add it depends on what your numbers were before your ivf cycle I.e. Amh, follicle count, fsh, as these are a big indicator of success. I had many many rounds of ivf from 41-44 with no success so I understand how it feels when it doesn’t work, but I am 46 now and have had to accept that I won’t ever have children as I wasnt willing to explore other options other than OE, as it didn’t feel right for us. I think it is great that others do try other routes because otherwise you may have regrets as you get older, sometimes I do but that passes and I remind myself as I know from talking with friends having kids doesn’t instantly make you happy it brings its own set of problems as well.


Thank you so much for understanding.. that’s how I feel. I never envisaged me having no eggs left so being told my only option is to use somebody else’s was such a hard pill to swallow. I just don’t think (at the moment anyway) that it’s right for us. I am so torn though cos I do desperately want to be a mum and I don’t want to have any regrets in the future!
Thanks for being so honest and open, it really does help to hear it from other people!
Sending you lots of love xXx


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## MadameG

Yes, get a second opinion ❤ Perhaps look at clinics that specialise in Mild IVF as a starting point.

IVF is a mixture of science and almost an art in finding the right protocol for the woman. Not even wanting to explore options for you is terrible care IMHO.

Overseas clinics wise, Serum in Athens was always our backup plan if needed xxxxxx


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## Titch81

MadameG said:


> Yes, get a second opinion ❤ Perhaps look at clinics that specialise in Mild IVF as a starting point.
> 
> IVF is a mixture of science and almost an art in finding the right protocol for the woman. Not even wanting to explore options for you is terrible care IMHO.
> 
> Overseas clinics wise, Serum in Athens was always our backup plan if needed xxxxxx


Thanks so much for your advice.. I really appreciate it! ❤ I have thought about trying abroad but didn’t have a clue how/where to start looking - I do worry about getting the time off work etc but they have been understanding so far so hopefully that would continue..
Thanks again for your help xx


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## MadameG

Titch81 said:


> Thanks so much for your advice.. I really appreciate it! ❤ I have thought about trying abroad but didn’t have a clue how/where to start looking - I do worry about getting the time off work etc but they have been understanding so far so hopefully that would continue..
> Thanks again for your help xx


Years ago, we went to Fertility Show Live in London, where dozens of overseas and domestic clinics had stands. It was extremely helpful to effectively have second opinions and get a feel for multiple clinics without going to their headquarters. It looks like it is set to run again in May next year. Also, generally scans are all done with a partner clinic or you can go to one of the commercial ultrasound chain branches, then you travel over for egg collection/embryo transfer.

Wishing you lots of luck xxx


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## Queen_Bee

I also think a second opinion is a good idea. I was successful at ARGC after 4 failed cycles at 2 other clinics. They were very thorough and the treatment was tailor-made to my body's needs. I would suggest you get a second opinion there and see what they say. I also know that clinics in Barcelona and Madrid offer donor egg cycles and and have a high success rate. They have a huge database and will match the donor to your physical looks so you don't end up with a baby that looks nothing like you. Good Luck! x


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