# Work sucks!



## S_Lauren24 (Mar 5, 2015)

I started my job two years ago at the end of January and when I went for my interview I was very upfront about the fact myself and my partner are struggling to conceive and made them aware of the fact I had gone to my doctors to seek advice and help. They have been there from the start, that very first appointment I went to where I spoke to my GP and they referred me to the NHS. All along my manager and the owner of the company (I work in a nursery with babies and young children) have been lovely and asking questions about what is happening next and telling me not to worry that it will happen and they are there to support me. I have been open and honest with all my co-workers, they all know my situation apart from a couple of new girls who have started in the last couple of months. 

However over the last couple of months since it has been getting closer to us receiving our treatment all of a sudden they are saying I can't attend appointments at the hospital. I even took in a letter from the hospital last month stating I would need to have time off for appointments at short notice and all they said was "But how short notice is short notice?" to then which I had to explain it was all down to when AF arrived. They said at that time a month ago they would be there to support me and we would work out a way for me to attend my appointments. 

It stressed me out so much to think I wouldn't be able to find time to attend the hospital for my first scan yesterday that I booked the week off work this week due to the fact I wasn't 100% sure AF would arrive at the weekend. Yesterday when I went to the hospital they gave me two appointments for next week, one monday morning and one on Wednesday morning. I work full time and both of these appointments are during working hours. I went straight into work and explained, they asked me if anyone would swap shifts with me and the only two people able to swap shifts with me told me no. I have been messaging my manager tonight to see if they could arrange cover informing her I would need to attend these appointments to which she has replied "if we don't get cover for your shift theres nothing I can do". Even after telling them that I absolutely have to attend the appointments on the days specified by the nurses they are still saying I'm not allowed.

Has anyone else had this problem and if so what did you do? I feel like going on the sick for a few weeks until after I had my IUI.


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## andrea75 (Jun 20, 2010)

I personally would just get signed off. You don’t need the added pressure x


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## K jade (Aug 11, 2013)

Agree I'd get signed off ASAP. It's not your problem they can't find cover and if your gp signs u off they can't say anything x


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## HopefulKayte (Jun 16, 2017)

My experience was as a teacher with my clinic out of town, I couldn't handle never knowing what days I'd be at the clinic, when my appointments would be, the surgery, etc. I was really struggling with the workload and driving work and lessons in at night that I'd never teach and still be responsible for the planning and evaluation of every day. After being diagnosed with exhaustion and nearing a breakdown, I was signed off work for future IVF cycles. At least here (not in UK) all educators pay bi-monthly for medical benefits and insurance, and you have the right to pursue fertility treatment. It should not be your burden to bear for them to staff shifts for those with medical needs. If you're signed off, I highly doubt those classrooms will go unstaffed. I can tell you from experience, physical breakdown and emotional stress if NOT what you're paying for or will do you any good. This is your time, take all steps that you need.


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## Me Myself and I (Dec 30, 2012)

Sadly unless the employer has a policy about time off for fertility treatment appointments you have no legal entitlement for the time off nor for it to be paid; effectively it's viewed as a life choice.

You can ask go to sign you off. But need to be realistic. How long can you manage on ssp? How long before your absence will cause issues with your employer re attendance? Even capability procedures as right now being signed off due to stress for example could be pursued as you want wouldn't be protected under pregnancy protection and even if pregnant if had excessive absence they can still pursue. 
Consider this could take a number of cycles.....

Maybe it's worth finding out if the clinic could see you much earlier or later to cause the least impact on work? 

Sadly as much as baby is your priority, you also need work. So trying to be as accommodating to their needs is probably the best way forward.


Good luck. 😀


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

What a shame that you are being treated like this, when you have been so honest with them.

If they are saying that you cannot attend the appointments, then you have no other option then to get signed off.  

I wish you all the best on your journey.

X


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## S_Lauren24 (Mar 5, 2015)

Thank you all for your replies and advice. I don't really want to get signed off on the sick unless I absolutely have to. I think the problem is it is stressful in work as it is as we have quite a few members of staff leave over the last few weeks, one girl was meant to start this week and she has phoned to say she won't be starting at all and then I've come in and said I need this time off. 

I was considering going to my GP today to be signed off on the sick, I do not want to be going through this treatment with the stress of work saying I can't go to my appointments. Unfortunately for me my shifts change quite often so I could inform the clinic and say I need them at certain times but my shifts may change and then I'm in the same situation as I was previously. 

I posted a message to all the staff members last night asking who could help me out and that I am not trying to be awkward and I would help any of them out in anyway possible and they know that. Luckily two girls have said they will swap shifts with me for me to attend my appointments. I just have my fingers crossed that everything is okay at the appointments and we don't have any complications along the way now. 

Thank you all so much I have calmed down a little now.


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## miamiamo (Aug 9, 2015)

I am so sorry, I see that only a person who has experienced problems with infertility, can understand what you are going through x


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