# Looking to Start or Going Through Adoption : Pt 4



## Dee

New home, girls

Loads of love
Dee
xxx


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## Dee

List courtesty of Karen ........

Karen: Panel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match. Identified one group in BMP. Waiting to hear if we can be their Mummy and Daddy.

Cindy: Currently doing home assessment

Carol: Currently doing home assessment

Ann: Currently doing home assessment

Ruth: Currently doing home assessment

Ang: Course completed awaiting allocation of SW

Everhopeful: Course nearly completed and awaiting allocation of SW

Jo: Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW

Mandy (MSW): Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW

Nat: Awaiting allocation of SW

Kylie: Awaiting allocation of SW, prep course November?

Angel: Open evening July

Homer & Marge: Just starting out


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## Dee

Wow Karen!

I've only just seen your wonderful news - I'm so pleased for you that Rich said "yes" and that you could have your wonderful little girls with you soon. I have my fingers and toes crossed that the panel will decide you are all a "perfect match".

Love
Dee
xxx


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## everhopeful

Hiya ladies

Just to keep you updated - We have now completed our prep course (and found it very interesting) and have already been allocated our SW - who we will meet next week. So onwards and upwards to home study (fingers crossed anyway!!).

Best wishes to everyone else.

S x


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## Homer_and_Marge

Hi there, 

Another update from us. We are waiting to go on the course in September '04 and have been told assessment should take us until March '05.

Homer and Marge


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## KarenM

Everhopeful - Congrats on finishing the course and I hope you get your meetings scheduled in a.s.a.p.

Homer and Marge - good to hear that you are booked on the course, September will be here before you know it.

Cindy - hope you've had a good time in Rome. Don't feel pressured by the social worker to do the PC thing if its not what you want, at the end of the day you will know when you see the one's for you.

Kylie - Hope you are having a good time in Aus.

To everyone else - thank you all for your good luck messages. Kim - sadly the holidays are the Sw's otherwise I would have cancelled them like a shot!! She is due to ring me tomorrow with some more information as she is reading their form in depth.

I'll keep you posted.

TTFN
love
Karen x


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## KarenM

Updated list with people's progress....

Karen: Panel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match. Identified one group in BMP (1 of each) and are up against another couple for two little girls. Waiting to hear if we can be their Mummy and Daddy.

Cindy: Currently doing home assessment

Carol: Currently doing home assessment

Ann: Currently doing home assessment

Ruth: Currently doing home assessment

Ang: Course completed awaiting allocation of SW

Everhopeful: Waiting for home study to start. SW allocated.

Jo: Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW

Mandy (MSW): Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW

Nat: Awaiting allocation of SW

Kylie: Awaiting allocation of SW, prep course November?

Angel: Open evening July

Homer & Marge: Prep course September.

Don't forget to let me know your progress so I can update the list and pleae let me know if I am a bit slow and have not got it right 

Karen x


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## *Kim*

Karen

I meant the SW's.  They should wait till they have placed your children with you. I know i am being cheeky but didnt want you to have to wait. 

Love Kimx x x


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## Jo

Karen
Just popped in to wish you luck, I hope your SW ring you with good information tomorrow 

Take care
Love Jo
x x x


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## KarenM

Hi Folks

I've heard from the SW today and she has given us a lot more information, there were some things for us to look into but we have done that already this evening and are ok with them. 

We know alot now about their backgrounds. The children's SW should be getting back to our SW by the end of the week. She has already seen our forms and is interested.

Our SW is now sending us their forms to read in more detail and for us to make a firm decision about progressing. The situation is still us and one other couple who have been matched with them. Just have to wait now to meet their SW and put our case forward.

I'll keep you all updated as soon as I hear anything.

Love
Karen x


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## *Kim*

Awwwww fingers crossed Karen. If your meant to have them you will get them. I really hope you do though.

Love Kimx x x


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## everhopeful

hi everyone!

Just wanted to come on and share my feelings (hope you dont mind?!!)

There seems to have been so much happen in the last few days and my emotions are all over the place!
My best friend announced that she is expecting - after sadly miscarrying late last year. I am so very happy for her. Didnt think Id ever feel so chuffed that someone else is pregnant!!
Then over the weekend we had the 1st anniversary of the day I had egg retrieval for 1st time. Awful memories of the physical pain and feeling so scared. 
Tomorrow is a year to the day that I had our miracle embryos replaced. Memories of excitement and overwhelming love and feeling in awe of them. Wanting to protect and hold on to them. I know tomorrow will be a very emotional day for me - and I will try not to make a fool of myself at work!!
And then to top it all - we've met our SW and set the dates for our home study to start!! NEXT WEEK.... AAARRRGHH!!!!! We are so excitied!
Finally we feel like we can plan ahead and know that we will be a Mummy & Daddy one day.

So thats enough about me - thanks for listening!

Karen - best of luck, keeping fingers & toes crossed for you!

Mandy - have you heard anything yet? Keep me posted!

Take care,

E x


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## KarenM

Hi Everhopeful

You will always have memories of the milestones you reached in dealing with IF. Like you I have found it easier to accept that other people are pg. I think it is to do with the fact that conciously we have moved on and are satisified that we will achieve motherhood someday, just not the natural way. I do still find though that people hide things from me or don't tell me when they tell others. That for me hurts more than the fact they are pg. I hope today passes without too much pain or difficulty.

I hope all goes well for your first visit next week. I am sure everything will be fine. Don't bank on the planning ahead!!! I don't know whether I am coming or going at the moment. I have so many things I want to do before I break up at work and so many things I need to tell people but things move on so quickly in my line of work that I can't do it until the week before I go.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Guys,

Well as I said i just could not wait for the 2 weeks so gave SS a call on friday to see if we had been allocated our SW. 

I spoke to the head SW who said that the whole team would be on holiday for the next 2 weeks, but that she thought our SW was going to be a lady called Joanne, so I hope for her to be in touch the week of the 9th of Aug, or else i will be on the phone again. i think they know me well already.  

But she is sending us some forms etc in the post to fill in, so it is a little step futher. 

Dh and i are also off for the next 2 weeks, our plan for this week is to start on the 2 spare bedrooms, getting them in some kind of order, so today we have been to Ikea and ordered wardrobes for one of the rooms (Nesting, hee,hee) i can't wait to start filling it with kiddy things but will hold back for a little longer . 

Everhopeful, as above we have still not got a date for our home visits to start yet!!! you must be sooooooo excited.  . 

I know what you mean about memories, for me this weekend would have been my due date  but i have got through it by keeping busy and focused on my new journey of adoption. I do really feel that making this decision to adopt has given me the strength to face what has happened in the past, but like you I will always have sad memories, i just hope that this time next year they will be replaced by happy ones. 

Keep me posted on you first visit. 

Karen, Just to say I am so glad you and Dh have made the decision   but sorry you now have this wait and testing time, but I am sure they will pick the best mummy and daddy(you too) and you will be a family very soon. Thanks for keeping the list upto date it really helps to see where we all are at.

Chat soon. Mandyxxx


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## Fee

E - thinking of you today, and hope the day is not too raw emotionally. Great that things are moving ahead for you on the adoption front.

Karen - so exciting that things are brining you nearer and nearer to your being a mummy and daddy. The two girls sound perfect, so keeping everything crossed that their destiny is with you

Fee xxxxxxx


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## cindyp

Hi Ladies

Just a quickie, we've just got back from a great break in Rome (it was a reminder of all the great things you can do without kids, but we're sticking to our original plans ). We're off again on Saturday, going to the coast with my sisters' kids, 5, 7 and 10 so I'm praying the sun shines.

Karen, again what can I say, fingers crossed you get to meet the SW soon so that she can see for yourself what a deserving couple you are.

E and Mandy, I think we all have been through those akward dates. Once we have our new families there won't be time to think of anything, we'll be too exhausted!!! I'm pleased that things are moving on for the both of you.

We've got our next visit in a couple of weeks and we're going to tackle her on this whole pigeon holing by ethnicity thing that she seems to be doing. She's interviewing my parents tomorrow as one of our sets of referees. 

How is everyone else doing, things seem to be a bit quiet from the rest of the group?

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

love
Cindy


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## Ann

Hi Everyone,

I have been so mad busy over the past few months that it has been hard to post on here - hopefully things will calm down now. We have our last visit (we hope) with our social worker tomorrow although I am sure there wil be bits to fill in next week!!! we are then off to Canada for 2 weeks then home to work on our welcome book.....  we are still aiming to go to panel the first week in Oct - I am sure it will be here very quickly. We are going for 3 or 4 children and our social worker thinks that they will be with us sooner rather than later!!!!! We are excited but also very nervous and wondering what it will be like - I have every intention of enjoy our last holiday on our own!
It is great to read how everyone is getting on - I hope you get some good news soon Karen xxx 
We had a bbq at the wknd with all of the people that were on the course with us - it was great to meet up again and I think that they will be our support network. We were saying how different it might be when we have the same bbq next year!!!!
hope you all have a great weekend - we have my hubbies parents 40th wedding anniversary do on Saturday so lots of running around preparing for that too!!!!!!!! roll on our holiday!

Lots of love Ann xxx


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## Boomerang girl

Hiya all from sunny downunder. I am on my dad's computer so have to make it short. Karen I am itching to find out about the two girls! I hope it all goes through okay.
Simon rang me to say our SW was allocated, rang monday hoping to catch me before i went and has arranged a visit for the 23rd or 25th August- just after I get back, and it is still looking like the november prep course. Very exciting stuff!
great to see my nephew again, he is totally fab but I am having to bite my tongue a bit as he hasn't yet been taught what no means, and is running riot at present!
still, he is so lovely.... soon maybe we will have our own little ones!
much love to all
kylie
x


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## nigama

Hi there everyone, I wanted to come on and say hello as I am looking into adoption at the mo. We recently failed our last ICSI, and are still licking our wounds. Also our due date was yesterday from the baby I miscarried after my 3rd ICSI, so I know mentally and emotionally we are not ready to commence on our adoption journey yet.

That said I put a call into our local authority this morning and felt very cheered by the positivity shown to our approach. The duty s/w was great in going thru all the requirements and we went into our situ in a little detail, at the end of the call she recommended us to write in once we have received the pack and request to go on the waiting list. 

My main question to her was that I was concerned at having to wait a year to approach as I felt that we have been able to come to terms with our situation as we have gone thru it and that a year would be a little harsh. After lots of questions she agreed with me, so I do feel pretty pleased that we are advised to apply sooner. She did mention that it can take a year to get to assessment anyway, so any other thoughts can be dealt with along the way.

Am pleasantly surprised by this, also the assurance that there have been quite a few under 2's placed and that given our chat she would encourage us to apply. Has this been the case for others out there or have I hit gold first try?

Fingers crossed to you all going thru it all, am hoping this is the place for me, I have been on an infertility site for so many years I feel a little lost there now as we have decided to leave the treatment side. 
Love
Amanda x


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## KarenM

Hi Everyone

Ann - sounds like you have been going great guns on your home assessment. When do they think you will be going to panel? What age bracket are you going for then if you are going for 3 or 4 children? . I can barely get my head around having two never mind 3 or 4. I know that there are alot of sibling group's of larger sizes from Be My Parent. Our introduction SW joked that with 3 spare rooms which are all doubles we could fit two sets of bunk beds in each and have 12!!!! Sory for all the questions, but nice to hear from you again. its funny we've not kept in touch with anyone from our course, but then again SS haven't passed on their contact details as they keep promising.

Kylie - Glad to hear you are having a good time in Aus  and that whilst you have been away things have progressed for you. hopefully you will have got over the jet lag before the visit.

Amanda - welcome to the board. When we first applied we had only got it into our heads to go for one child first and then another later as we thought we would stand more chance of a smaller one. what i was told was that you are more likely to get a smaller one if you have a sibling group and so we decided to go with that idea and do it all in one hit. we are currently matched to two little girls who will be 2 and 1 both in November.

Different Social Services have different rules on how long you have to wait and dependent upon what treatment you have. We didn't have to wait at all as we had not got as far as having treatment.

I hope you get your pack soon and onto the waiting list.


We received the forms for the girls yesterday, still no photo's and now have all the details about their background, parents, health and progress. Just need to wait to meet their SW. I just keep telling myself we have 50/50 chance so more chance with this than we would have had with ICSI.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi Ladies,

bit of a dilemma, and am hoping for some wise words of wisdom from you all!

We live in Bath and are being assessed here for adoption. But I've just been offered a job back in oxford where my DH's family are all based, and my brother and his DW. The job will have as much flexibility as the one I'm in now. 

My problem is when do I tell the SW about this?? The good points from the adoption persepctive is that we'll be living much closer to lots of family members and support. The second is that DH's journey to work will be halved, so he'll have more free time. Down side is that it will be out of the area we are being assessed for. Should I tell them now and risk them stopping everything and having to start all over again in oxford. Or should I wait till we're gone to panel (November supposedly) and then tell them. Or do you think they'll let us finish the assessment and pass us onto oxford's SWs??

What'da think??

XXRuth.


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## Ruthiebabe

after writing and re-reading the above I've decided to bite the bullet and tell our SW about it.......will let you know what she says! 

keep your fingers crossed it's a good response for us! 

XXRuth.


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## KarenM

Ruth

Good luck. I am sure that if you are going for panle in november, then you are so far down the line it would be a shame for them to make you start all over again.

Hope you get the reply you need.

Good luck
Love
Karen x


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## Laine

Karen

Just read your news about the girls....oh how exciting!

Laine x


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## everhopeful

Hiya ladies!

Thank you for your messages of support for last week. Didnt find it too bad, and seemed to concentrate on the happier memories (there were some, trust me!)
Glad we've got 1st anniversary's out of the way without too much upset.
I really feel like we are definately moving on. And it feels great!!
Really excited about starting home study - will keep you informed !

Hope you all hear some good news soon!!!! 

Bye for now

Everhopeful (S) xx


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## Ruthiebabe

Bah humbug!

spoke to SW and they are not prepared to proceed any further with our application! But very kindly offered to pass our notes onto oxford!

So I got in touch with oxford and they said that how far back we would need to go would depend on what our SW from here sends them.....maybe back to the beginning! Also, as seems the standard response when initiating enquiries, they say they have no children under 5....not even sibling groups. How can two interconnected government agencies not have some sort of interaction??

So, we move, get settled and ring oxford up again.....so probably won't have cause to write anything here till the new year now!

 XRuth.


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## nigama

Hi there, have now received all the info thru from the council, it all looks a little basic in info, now its time to consider it all and decide when we are ready.

The fact I was gutted today when did a pg test and it was BFN - as usual - has made me consider that I can't be ready yet? Is this usual, do any of you still hope each month whilst trying to get to panel?

KarenM. have been reading back on your posts, how exciting that you are nearly there, I very much hope that it all goes your way for you.

Ruth - I cannot believe that they would make you start afresh on this, its seems terribly unfair when surely all the s/w are looking for the same qualities etc. So sorry luvie. 
Love
Amanda x


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## KarenM

Hi everyone

Ruth - sorry to hear about the SW and not being able to progress. Let us know what Oxford say and good luck with the move.

Amanda - I hope that you will soon be able to make the transition onto the journey. It is hard when you have no explanation as to why things haven't worked for you. That is certainly one thing that helped us to move on. I hope the time comes soon for you.

Cindy - hope you've been having a nice time on your hols. How is the home study going?

Kylie - hope you are having a good time in Aus. Good luck for your appointment later this month.

Everhopeful - hope you get your first visit scheduled soon, you'll be fine.

No more progress for us yet. Sw's are on their hols at clshing times so can't progress until they are al back. we've had all the info through just waiting to meet their SW. My SW has said that if things don't progress then she is about to have 2 more sibling groups ready to start matching. 1 set is a boy aged 2 and a girl aged 3 and the other is a set of young twins (don't know age or sex). Just plodding along and praying that one of these pays off.

Speak soon
Love
Karen x


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## *Kim*

Good luck from me too. It is so annoying that these children have to wait for parents because the SW's are on holidays.

Hope they are back soon so you can have your children.

love Kimx x


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## Ann

Hi everyone.....

Karen I hope you hear something soon  it is so frustrating all of this waiting when the children are out there and you are all ready to have them xx

As for us we finished our home assessment last week and we are getting ready to go to panel - hopefully in October but it maybe Nov 4th it all depends on the typists and our social worker getting her butt in gear!!!! We are off to Canada tomorrow for 2 weeks we are hoping that this will be our last holiday together before our children arrive  we are hoping to go for 3-4 children under 5 so our lives are about to change drastically!!!!!

I hope that everyone else is getting along ok and enjoying the lovely summer weather - mind you it has rained here today - glad I am going away tomorrow if the weather is about to change!!!!!!

lots of love and luck to everyone
ann xxxxxxx


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## Pooh bears mummy

Hi folks,
Well our 2 week holiday is over, well not really a holiday, jobs,jobs,jobs !!! but the wardrobes in the spare room look great 

SW should be back off holiday this week too, i have been good and not phoned up today(hee,hee) i will try and hold out till mid week 

Karen, how are you? anymore news yet?

E, have you had your first visit yet?

Ann, good luck with your panel date, i hope it is sooner rather than later. Enjoy your last child free holiday. 

Ruth, sorry to read your news,i hope Oxford are the ones for you.

Chat soon.

Mandyxx


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## everhopeful

Hiya Mandy!

Nice to hear from you. Hope you are well.

We're having our 2nd home study visit this week, and we're enjoying it so far. SW is lovely which makes it easier.

Im jealous you've got your bedroom wardrobes sorted out! We actually bought ours last week, but need to decorate before I get to see what they look like!!

Hope you get to hear from your SW this week and get some dates for your home study.

Keep us informed

everhopeful x


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## Pooh bears mummy

Hi E,
Oooooooooh 2nd home visit already, you lucky thing  . I am itching to get started and am going to have to phone up tomorrow  . I think i have been patient enough, it has been 1 month now since the end of our prep course(hee,hee) what will i be like once i have been approved  I am not very good at waiting.

Yes, the wardrobres look good but there is so much more to do, I can't wait to be able to choose kiddy things for the 2 bedrooms. 

Chat soon Mandyxx


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## KarenM

Mandy - By the time you get to approval stage you will have perfected the art of waiting!!! We will have been approved for 4 months next weekend and here we are still pacing up and down. 

I haven't done anything to the bedrooms yet, we have already got the furniture and ages ago we did sort out all the wardrobes and chest of drawers so that our stuff is confined to our room and the spare room and then the 2 kids rooms have empty furniture in.

I have got pages folded over in the mothercare catalogue and have lots of internet sites book marked. I am all ready for the shopping spree just need to go ahead and away we go.

Everhopeful - it is always better when your SW is nice. Ours is lovely too and I can have quite a laugh with her and she certainly has Rich sussed!! Good luck with this weeks visit.

Ann - you'll be in Canada when i am typing this. Enjoy yoursleves has holidays will take a big twist next year. Still can't get over the fact you are going for 3 or 4. I really admire you bravery! I hope you get to make October's panel, but given how time is flying by November will be here before you know it.

To everyone else on the journey. I hope you are all doing ok, don't forget to keep us updated with your progress.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## cindyp

Hi Everyone

Glad to hear you're all well. 

Karen, hope you don't have to wait too much longer. 

Ann, bet you're having a great time in Canada, not long till panel.

Ever, glad you're getting on with your SW, that's always a good start.

Mandy, better get used to having to be patient, as Karen can confirm it's a frustrating process, but it's good to know you're on your way.

Well, after a week in the caravan with 3 kids we had to double check with each other that we still wanted to go ahead. Don't get me wrong we didn't hate it but the 5yr old was particularly hard work. Anyway it had it's good points and we're still going ahead. Our SW tells us that we only need one major session and then it's polishing the report. She wants to get us to panel for October, like Ann. Now we have to start thinking about our photo book.

I'm off again for another non child friendly weekend of  and volleyball. 

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

love
Cindy


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## KarenM

Cindy

Great news about going to panel in October. Did you challenge your SW as you said you were going to? We had some holidays with friends and their kids before we went to panel. It taughtbus that there are some things we will not be doing and other things that we might try. We also felt the good points far outweighed the bad points.

I will probably still have a little while to wait. My SW is on her hols and the children's SW has just got back from hers so they have not seen each toher. My SW is back for 1 week and then off for another. The children are still not freed for adoption and go to court on 18th october for this. Panel would then be the following week if we are the lucky ones to have been chosen. Just need to wait to meet their SW and then for the linking meeting to be set up (this decides who are the best match for the children). It is still us head to head with another couple, but my SW has told me about some other sibling groups coming through so even if we are not chosen for the current two there could be more in the pipeline.

Have a good weekend  Speak soon
Love
Karen x


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## *Kim*

Fingers crossed It is decided soon Karen.

Love Kim x x x


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## Suzie

hi

just popped by to check on all your progresses as i often do and wanted to say i hope that things get sorted soon for you very soon karen

take care all
suzie aka olive


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

Just a quick update from me.  My SW got back from her hols today (she is in this week and then off again for another week) and rang to say that she and the girls SW want to come out and see me and Rich tomorrow   OMG things are starting to happen but I need to stay calm as this does not guarantee that we will BE the ones.

I'll let you know how it goes, not too sure what to expect.

Bye for now
love
Karen x


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## KarenM

Hmmm finger slipped I got the   when I was wanting the


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## Suzie

hi

thats fab news karen! hope all goes really well for you both

take care
suzie aka olive


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## *Kim*

Karen 
Brilliant news i have every thing crossed for you.

Love Kimx  x x


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## Mummytoone

WOW CANT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## LB

Dear Karen

Will be thinking of you both tomorrow 

sending lots of luv
LB
X


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## Bev H

Hi Karen
Just want to say how exciting - at last!!!!! Something might be happening, will check in tomorrow, lots of love  Bev H xxxx


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## everhopeful

Good luck for tomorrow Karen,

Keeping everything crossed for you!!!

Keep us informed, can't wait to hear your good news (I know you'll get some soon!)

E x


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## Ruthiebabe

Good Luck Karen,

XXX 
Ruth.


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## Mel

GOOD LUCK KAREN FOR TODAY!!!

LOTS OF LOVE

Mel, Tony and Jessica


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## cindyp

Wow, I go away for a few days and come back to all these impressive changes to the board.  I hope I can cope, as you can see from my last post I still go wrong with my smilies sometimes.

Karen, that's great news, I'll keep my fingers crossed that it all goes well today.  Will check in later to see what's happened.  In answer to your question, I didn't challenge the Social Worker as such.  It seems it's not just her, it's a whole Social Work ethos that if you're not 100% white, you're black!  My friend's sister-in-law is also a Social Worker and knows Lee and I, but didn't realise I wasn't 100% english.  When my friend was updating her on our progress and explained that I had a guyanese grandfather, Sheila also referred to me as black.  As I know Sheila is a very nice person and not at all racist, it is obviously a term they use,  Although a bit of a sweeping term and I had great fun telling my swedish looking baby sister that she's a "black" woman and better get used to it.  Anyway we were going through the check list at our last meeting so obviously the question of ethnicity came up.  I told her that I didn't like being pigeon holed and I didn't like the thought of being excluded from adopting "white children" because I was only 75% white.  She said that it wouldn't be the case, that it would be done on a "best fit" matching basis.  She seemed reasonable so we are going to continue to trust that she will do the right thing by us.  

Hope everybody else is well.  Will check in later this week.

love
Cindy


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## Suzie

just wanted to say thinking about you today karen and hope all went really well

take care
suzie aka olive xx


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## KarenM

Hi Folks

Everything went fine.  She seemed impressed by the paperwork we did on our home study and said she found it really interesting  .

We haven't really found out much more about the girls than what we already knew, but we have been given up to date medical reports for them.

Now for the amazing bit.......... We are going to meet both of the foster carers next week   

All being well the linking meeting will happen soon which will decide who they think should adopt them and the we have to wait for panel.  They don't yet have freeing orders for the girls but should be getting this in October.  If we are the one's then the eldest will probably move in first and then the younger one a couple of weeks later and this will happen soon after they have got the freeing order so end of October, beginning of November (just in time for their 1st and 2nd birthday's (both November babies) and Xmas!!).  

I am really trying not to get too excited as I don't want to have to pick myself up again if we are not chosen.  Even if we are not chosen it doesn't mean to say we are not suited to adopt, we're just not the right one's for these two.

I'll keep you all posted.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## Mummytoone

OMG Karen, how very, very exciting!!!!!!     

FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

You could be very busy Christmas Morning!!!


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## Mel

Karen

I can just read the excitement in your post and i too hope that you are the parents for them (well i am biased and know YOU ARE the right choice)

Ohhhhh i cant wait for October now - its not that long you know, cant wait to hear how the meeting goes next week now 

Lots of love

Mel

x x


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## Jo

Oh how exciting this all is !!
I hope the meeting goes well next week, and I hope with all my heart that they choose you, they should do 

As Lou has said you could be very busy Christmas morning !!! How fab is that going to be  

Come on October, hurry up !!!!!

Love Jo
x x x


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## Dee

Wow Karen,

Fabulous news!

Loads of luck for next week ... I so hope this is where your dream is about to come true.

Love
Dee
xxx


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## Pooh bears mummy

Sooooooooo excited for you Karen,

Can't wait to follow you progress as a new mummy, which i am sure you will be very soon.

Mandyxxx


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## everhopeful

SOOOOOO VERY EXCITED FOR YOU BOTH!!!!

Can't imagine how nervous and excited you must be feeling tonight... about next week and especially October!! Not long to wait... only about 7 weeks! It will fly by!

Really hope this is the big one for you, but you're right, if it's not you this time, it will be one day... but lets hoping your wait is over!!

Thinking of you

E x


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## *Kim*

Karen

I so hope they choose you and Rich. They should do if they have any sense.
I so hope you are going to have a busy November and Christmas.

Love Kimx  x x


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## Bev H

Oh Karen, how fantastic - 
I really really hope your dream comes true.  I will keep everything crossed for you and Rich, they've got to pick you you are going to be the best mummy and daddy. Lots of love Bev H xxxxx


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## mmmbop

Hi karen and Rich,
have been following your journey, and am really hoping this is it, what an exciting and neve wracking time!
good luck,

mmmbop,xx


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## LizzyB

Karen ~ this is so exciting, it's sounding so positive,

Loads of luck to you both and i hope it goes well next week,

Much love, Lizzy xx


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## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Everyone 

Well after a few phone calls!!!!!!!!!!! we finally have a date for our first home study assesment, yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeee   

Next friday, just over a week to wait. I am so happy   

I feel like we are another step closer to being a mummy 


Now i have a million questions  what should we have prepared before the visit. What about books to read etc. Any advice very welcome.

Everhopeful, hows it going with you?

MSW.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## everhopeful

Hiya MSW!

Brilliant news! At last you're starting!!! Its a fab feeling isnt it?!!
You will be fine. The main thing for us was worrying what our SW would be like, so we were really nervous about meeting her. But turns out she is lovely, and I'm sure yours will be too. Once they've arrived at yours and you've had a chat, you will feel at ease. And I dont know about you, but if you're like me and probably everyone else who's been through home study, you'll want to clean and tidy!!! Its complete madness - I turn into a demon with duster in one hand and hoover in the other!  It's bizarre!! I think the fear that they just might want to have a nosy round your home, consumes you, into wanting to clean every single nook and cranny! So far, ours hasnt!! But it's better to be safe than sorry. You can guarantee that the one day I havent washed the breakfast cups, she'll want to go round like the two women in "how clean is your house?" !!!!!!

Honestly if you get a nice SW like ours, you will enjoy home study. We've only had our first 2 - our 3rd is on Monday, and we are thoroughly enjoying every visit. It's really just 2 hours of chatting and laughing. Really relaxed and no stress (apart from the cleaning beforehand!!).
The main thing to remember is that you are not there to jump through hoops, there really are no right and wrong answers, it isn't a test. Just lots of getting to know each other. It's benficial as much for you to get to know SW - let's face it, this person is the one who is going to help get your child/children for you!!  The only preperation I would say you might need, is if you have any questions - and I mean any at all, write them down now, cos when next Friday comes, your mind will go blank! 
And just try to relax - your time has arrived!!

Good luck, keep us informed how it goes. Will be thinking of you!


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## cindyp

Wow Karen, that's great news.  It must be very hard trying not to get too excited.  You know that there's another couple in the running but it's human nature to think that you'll be the one buying Xmas pressies.  Anyway we all think that you and Rich deserve these little girls and hopefully the SW and panel will realise it too!!

MSW congrats on getting your home assessment date.  Ever is right, write any questions down because you will forget them.  I didn't go overboard on the house cleaning thing because I felt that would give a false picture of me, but I did tidy up more than normal  .  As for books, Karen and I have both read "The Adoption Experience" by Ann Morris which was good.  I got my copy out of the local library or you can buy it on Amazon.  Hope everything goes well with you and your SW.


Cindy


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

Mandy - good news about the start of your home visit.  You really have nothing to worry about.  As Everhopeful and Cindy say write down any questions bfore you forget.  I always used to have a note pad with me (household secretary!!) so we could remember what she said afterwards, that way we couldn't read things into anything.  Some of the things you discuss are really interesting and it really gets you thinking about some things you just take for granted.

Everhopeful - glad that you are getting on well with your SW.  It makes all the difference.  have they given you an estimation yet of when you will go to panel.  We had about 9 visits all in all. 6 together, rich 1 on his own and me 2 on my own (1 was to finalise all the papers though).  Good luck.

Cindy - how about you.  That form must be finished and ready for proofing?  Have you got a date for the panel yet?  Are you still looking at BMP too?  

Well more news from me.  The other couple are no longer being considered .  So it is just us, all we have to prove is that WE ARE THE ONES.  The meeting is all set next week and I am all geared up to write some questions this weekend.  I feel now that i can be a bit more targetted with my questions.  Hopefully things can be heard at the panel this month (assuming after all this that they want us) and then it will just be a question of waiting for the court to grant the freeing orders.  Too excited, but just have to keep CALM!!!

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## sophie

Hi Karen

Can't believe how exciting your news is!! Wishing you masses of luck for next week's meeting

Sophie
x


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## sunfish

Wow Karen  

As all the others have said its just so exciting. Good luck with your meeting next week.

love & hugs

Camilla


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## Dee

Karen,

That is absolutely fantastic news ........ it's sounding more and more all the time like this is definately when your dreams are going to come true!

I have everything crossed that you and Richard ARE THE ONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love
Dee
xxx


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## *Kim*

Oh Karen

Thats brilliant news, i am keeping everything crossed for you. They just have to choose you. Those two little girls are going to be so lucky to have you two as their parents.

Love Kimx x x


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## everhopeful

So chuffed for you Karen & Richard!!

That is fab news that the other couple are out of the picture, surely that's proof that they've decided you are the ones!

Keep us informed! Those little girls will be sat waiting for Mummy & Daddy to go and get them!!

Bye for now

Hugs, e x  

PS We're set for March panel, unless we can squeeze through intime for January! Will keep you posted!


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## Nats

Hi guys

I have been reading on a regular basis and would post btu I feel alittle in limbo at the moment. We had our first inital visit this time last year, attended the prep groups in Feb & March and have been waiting for a SW since then. I have just heard thats ist going to be at least 3 months, probably longer before we get one so nothing much is going to be happening before the end of the year.

I will keep you posted and pop in timne to time, as I know that I am bound to learn things along the way.

Natxx


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## Pooh bears mummy

Hi guys,

Ever, Cindy and Karen thanks so much for your replys and advice   as you say the main thing is getting on with our Sw which I am sure we will. As for the cleaning, I am usually a "take us as you find us" type of gal, but have been like a woman on a mission, trying to keep the place tidy. 

Karen, I am getting soooooooooo excited for you and Richard, so goodness knows how you must be feeling, but it certainly looks good. Good luck for next week, i can't wait to hear your good news  

Nat,so sorry you are having this long wait but as you say coming on the board will give you lots of hope, idears and inspiration.

Well I am off for my romantic weekend away is cheshire, so i will catch up with all you news on sunday night when i get back.

TTFN Mandyxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Laine

Karen,

So pleased to hear your news!  Next week can't come soon enough - Good luck sweetheart.

Laine x


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## cindyp

Karen, many congratulations, we all knew that they would have to realise that you and Richard were the best for the job, no wonder you're excited.  Hope everything goes well next week.  I'm sure they'll realise that YOU ARE THE ONES.

We haven't got an exact date for panel yet, SW hopes that we will be going to panel in October, she has one more session with us to cover Valuing Diversity and then it's polishing up the report.  We're just about to start our photo book although she has recommended facial close ups   !  Her idea is that small children will recognise you best if they have a close-up photo but personally I'm not very photogenic and wouldn't want to scare the little darlings off.  On the other hand they will have to get used to seeing me first thing in the morning so they might as well get used to scary face immediately.  We're still looking at BMP but although there have been lots of children we've considered there's been none so far that have really grabbed us.

Nat, welcome to the group, sorry you've got such a long frustrating wait for your SW.  Unfortunately I think it's that time of the year when they are short staffed due to holidays etc.

Hope everyone is well.

love
Cindy


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## Boomerang girl

Hi everyone, back from australia and fully recovered from my jetlag now!! 
karen- your news is sooooooo exciting- I was following it in aus but hd trouble posting, not sure why!

we had our first visit yesterday. it was over three hours and the sw was very nice. very pleased with my experience and knowledge of children which will work well for us.
some questions over depression I sufered during tx requiring antidepressants means they want an early medical done. I see the gp in two weeks, they said he needs to be as comprehensive as possible and then their medical officer will look at it and decide if we can proceed or if I need an assessment done. bummer. I understand why they need to do it but it is something I am gonna worry myself silly over.
if all goes well and I "pass" that hurdle then we will be on either the november or jan/feb prep course, following that is the six month home study.
I cleaned the house and gave our dog a bath, much to his disgust, but the sw didn't look around or anything and just said the dog looked very good natured and healthy and obedient (yeh right!!!) so that was that.
she was fine about me eventually going back to work part time and us sharing the childcare- really the only hurdle is the depression one- but she did keep saying there were lots of strengths in our application and we should focus on them..... I guess I will be able to do that again when they tell me I pass the medical!
hope everyone is having a nice summer.
kylie


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## KarenM

Kylie

Welcome back.  Glad to hear that you have had your first visit.  Please don't worry about the medical I'm sure all they are trying to do is make sure that you are not likely to have a repeat and therefore the effect that this may have on any children who come into your care - purely precautionary.

Keep us posted with how you on.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## Bev H

Hi Karen
Have been following your news - thinking about you, hoping and praying for the good news SOON!!!
Lots of love  Bev H xxxxxx


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## KarenM

Bev

Just seen your lilypie ticker, where has the time gone?  Hope you and Garry are enjoying your last few months as a couple in readiness for bubbs arrival.  Thinking of you too

Love
karen x


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## everhopeful

Dear MSW

Just wanted to wish you well with your first HS tomorrow!

You will be fine, don't be too nervous and remember to enjoy it - this is the first day of becoming a mummy!

Let me know how you get on!  

Speak soon

Love from e x


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## everhopeful

Hi ladies

Anyone had the home safety check as part of HS? Can you give me an idea of what sort of things they'll be looking for, so I can prepare!!

Cheers


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## Pooh bears mummy

Hi E,
      Thanks for that. As you say this is a nother step closer to our dream 

MSW.xxxxx


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## KarenM

E - There is a checklist they fill out, most of the things we answered by saying that we would buy what we needed when a match was identified e.g. stair gates and fire guards.  The only thing we needed to consider was the gaps in our bannisters as a young child could fall through.  But we've now brought a safety net gate to fill the gap.

MSW - Good luck for your visit.  I am sure you will be fine. 

Hopefully have some more news tomorrow after we meet the carers.  Until then TTFN
Love
Karen x


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## Ann

hi,
We got back yesterday from a fantastic holiday in Canada   great news Karen I cant wait to hear an update..... we are just waiting to hear from our social worker as to wether we go to panel oct or nov.  We cant believe that it might have been our last holiday with just the 2 of us!!!! hope everyone is getting on ok will try and catch up when I am less jet lagged!!!!!!

Lots of love Ann xxxxxxx


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## Dee

Karen

Been thinking of you today .. hope your meeting with the carers went well.

Love
Dee
xxx


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## mmmbop

Me too Karen, thinking of you, hope the meeting goes well, good luck,  have everything crossed for you,xxx


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

Well we have met the girls carers and we have had lots of questions answered about what they are like to look after and what sorts of things they like and the sorts of things they are doing, their routines etc etc.  

It was all very positive.  It appears that they are happy and all the signs were that they will recommend us at the linking meeting.  We will either be approved, assuming they recommend us on 23rd Sept or 21st October, depends on whether they can get the paperwork done in time  

The girls have not yet been granted freeing orders for them to be placed for adoption, but this is being done on 18th October.  So hopefully soon after that we will be meeting them and then early November they will hopefully move in.

Still a long way to go before it is confirmed so still trying to keep my feet on the floor.  In the menatime to keep me quiet , Rich has agreed that I can buy some generic stuff (i.e. stuff that we will need regardless of age or sex, so if it falls through it won't be wasted).  So I have got a stair gate and some baby monitors.

Bye for now

Karen x


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## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Buddies

Well our first home visit is done,yipeeeeeeeeeeeee 

Our SW seems nice and made us both feel really relaxed, which is good becasue i went from being as cool as a cucumber to feeling physically sick before she arrived but once she arrived I felt fine. 

Today was just a chance to get to know us a bit and book in some more appointments. She is coming again next Friday to see me on my own and go through my family tree and childhood and the she will do the same with Dh the following week then she has booked in for the following week to discuss our support networks and reasons for adoption OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So things are moving in the right direction.
We are hoping to be on track to be approved by Christmas/Newyear.

Karen, so glad things are still progressing and you have been able to start "nesting", you go girl. 

Mandyx


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## *Kim*

Karen

Thats fab news. I just wish you didnt have to wait so long. I cant wait to see the day you post 'WE GOT THEM' .
Will say my prayers for you that if they are right for you you will get them.

Love Kim xxx


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## everhopeful

Hiya Mandy

Great news that you've met your SW and set dates for HS! Feels great to finally get started doesn't it?! Fancy you already looking at Xmas/New Year panel - your SW must be a pretty speedy worker!! (i know that some SW's have 3-4 hour sessions so get through it quicker - mine are only 2 hours max each). But we are hoping for January panel, if not it'll be Feb/March, but I'm not in a hurry now, things are going at a nice steady pace, and I want things to be right!!

Anyway all I can advise, is to completely honest and that way there can be no confusion or hiccups later in the process. We are finding HS to be an enjoyable experience, so far anyway, and we are starting to move from talking about us, to talking about the future child!   So quite exciting!! 
---------------------------------------------------------

Hiya Karen!!  

Brill news about your last meeting - all sounds very positive. Of course they will recommend you... surely there's no doubt, and once that freeing order comes through, there'll be no stopping you - imagine how that big shopping spree will feel?! Enjoy your rest while you still can! Keep us informed.


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## KarenM

I haven't posted a list for ages, but so much has been going on. I will do my best to test my memory and see where we all are . Please let me know if I need to amend anything.

Karen: Panel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match. Waiting to be told for definite that we can be Mummy and Daddy to two little girls.

Cindy: Currently doing home assessment. Awaiting a panel date.

Carol: Currently doing home assessment (not sure if Carol is still posting? )

Ann: Currently doing home assessment. Awaiting a panel date.

Ruth: Currently doing home assessment

Ang: Course completed awaiting allocation of SW

Everhopeful: Currently doing home assessment

Jo: Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW (not sure if Jolene is still posting? )

Mandy (MSW): Currently doing home assessment

Nat: Awaiting allocation of SW

Kylie: Awaiting allocation of SW, prep course November?

Angel: Open evening July

Homer & Marge: Prep course September.

Nicky: Induction evening September


Good luck girls

Love
Karen x


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## Pooh bears mummy

Thanks for that Karen 

Mandyxxx


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## everhopeful

Thanks Karen! Its surprising to see so many more names on the list, hope everyone who hasnt posted for a while, are all okay?


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## KarenM

Just adding Tracey who has just joined us.

Karen: Panel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match. Waiting to be told for definite that we can be Mummy and Daddy to two little girls .

Cindy: Currently doing home assessment. Awaiting a panel date.

Carol: Currently doing home assessment (not sure if Carol is still posting?  )

Ann: Currently doing home assessment. Awaiting a panel date.

Ruth: Currently doing home assessment

Ang: Course completed awaiting allocation of SW

Everhopeful: Currently doing home assessment

Jo: Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW (not sure if Jolene is still posting?  )

Mandy (MSW): Currently doing home assessment

Nat: Awaiting allocation of SW

Kylie: Awaiting allocation of SW, prep course November?

Angel: Open evening July

Homer & Marge: Prep course September.

Nicola: Induction evening September

Tracey: Prep course September


Karen x


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## Ann

Hi Everyone,

Hope you all had a great bank holiday... I spent it recovering from my surprise 30th birthday party   drank too much but hey you are only 30 once!!!!!
We have been given a preliminary panel date of November 4th which is the day after Jon's 30th birthday so hopefully that next weekend we will have plenty to celebrate   we just have to get busy on our welcome book now - it is quite a relief to have the home assessment over.
I am hopeless at remembering what stage everyone is at but wherever you are up to I hope it is going well and I can't wait untill we have our children and can start swopping stories - maybe one day we can arrange our own adoption meet up!
for now I am going to enjoy my last few days of holiday before I go back to work on Monday.

Lots of love
Ann xxxx


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## KarenM

Ann - great news about the panel date, I bet you are really excited    If it's any luck to you, that's my dh's birthday albeit a little older than Jon    and you go girl with celebrating your 30th.  I went to Dublin for mine last year.

Well I've spoken to our SW today as she has been on her hols and  I needed to update her about the meeting last week.  She has told me that they will pull out all the stops to get us to the panel for this month and then we can see some photo's etc.  I can't  believe we are doing all this and haven't seen them yet .

She then said that provided the court grant the orders then we will meet them the following day and then within a week the eldest will move in and then the younger one a week later (they are currently in separate foster care).  She has told me to go out and do some shopping once we've gone to panel  

Welcome to all our new ladies on the thread.  i can't believe that nearly 18 months ago there was only little 'ol me and now there are so many of us.

Good luck 
Love
Karen x


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## Dee

Karen,

I can't believe how calm you are sounding .. you are so so near your dream becoming a reality!  

I hope that the Panel is arranged swiftly and you get to go on that wonderful and long awaited shopping trip!  Then ....... roll on the big day!!!!!!!!!!

Good luck
Love
Dee
xxx


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## *Kim*

Karen 

I am so pleased your SW is getting things moved on for you. Really hope this is done soon.

Love Kimx  x x


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## Dee

New home this way .....

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=14080.new

Love
Dee
xxx


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