# Can you do IVF and start adoption?



## flowerdew (May 2, 2012)

Hi ladies
Prob a crazy question but can you continue with IVF cycles and start an adoption process?

Also what happens if you start the adoption process but find out you are pregnant?

Thanks.


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## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

Hi FD. Unfortunately you cannot do ivf and adoption. The social workers are quite insistent on this and infact they make you wait six months after ivf before you can start adoption. The children being placed for adoption will have been through some trumatic experiences and it is important that adoption is taken seriously and I think that they feel you are not taking the process seriously if you are doing both. Ie it is like hedging your bets. They like to make sure people have made a decision to leave ivf behind for ever.
As for pregnancy....some and I mean some agencies dicuss contraception with adopters so that getting pregnant is avoided. This hasnt happened with us but it has with other people. I know people do go directky to adoption instead of going to ivf so pregnancy could happen. but the adoption in that case would stop. 
I hope that you make the right decision for you and wish you lots of luck!!! love f x


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Morning fd. As fran has said you cannot do ivf and apply to adopt. The obvious reason is or the good of the lo's. As fran also said they need you to be 100% committed to them and most, if not all la/va will believe you are unable to do this if you are activily persuing ivf/pregnancy. But it is also for your good and well being. The adoption process is tough and soul searching. You will need to talk openly about your most precious and hardest experiences and I would not have been able to do that fully if I was still chasing another dream.

When we failed our last treatment we knew it wouldn't work and we knew 100% we couldn't go though anymore. I had been going to a counsellor or a while and we did a lot of work on moving on. Although the relief I felt was huge...it was still a few months of utter hell. Facing the reality that I wouldn't hve a birth child was simply awful...so awful I can't put it into wrds. But 1 morning I woke up and I knew I was redy to move on, not fixed but atleast ready to move on. Day after day we got better and it was the best desicion we have ever made. That day in August I phoned load of la/va and found some that would visit us within the 6 month wait. On one of those visits I convinced a wonderful sw we were ready and so, 3 months after our last failure we had our initial visit and started .

I things go to plan we will be meeting our 7 month old dream come true a year to the day after our last failed ivf. 
Sorry to have waffled on and I hope you find answers to your questions. I'm sure you will on here xx


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## Doubleprincesstrouble (Jan 28, 2013)

Some LA's require their adopters to use contraception while awaiting approval and early on into placement.

Its partly a financial thing, they don't want to waste thousands of pounds approving a couple if they then get pregnant. Also a birth child arriving early into placement is a common cause of an adoption breaking down.

Honestly once we were linked with our little girls, I wouldn't have wanted to get pregnant it becomes about whats good for them. They are amazing and they deserve and need my undivided love and attention for the foreseeable future. 

I remember feeling annoyed when I read about having to wait a year after IVF in some cases. 
But like one of the other posters we were able to convince our agency that we were ready, almost straight away.
Partly because we had found out a year earlier we wouldn't conceive naturally and never really thought the IVf was going to work. We had started talking seriously about adoption at that point and I remember saying "If we go on to adopt our future children are probably already alive" and they were.


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi,

Me and DH were looking in to adoption if this treatment failed and your last treatment had to have been at least 6 months before applying.  Obviously natural BFP's do happen, but in all honestly if you still desperately want another biological child and would still try fertility treatments then I wouldn't apply to adopt just yet.  It would seem that you are not quite ready to move on to adoption and give up on another biological child which is understandable.

X


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## HannahLou (May 22, 2011)

Our LA has asked us to use contraception and said the medical advisor may bring it up at panel. We had to have 12 months between treatment and applying. Good luck with your decision


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## flowerdew (May 2, 2012)

Thanks ladies for your replies I did write a post but it vanished.
You are right it's not a good idea I guess my mind was just on over drive last night
thinking of ways to increase our family as we do want to adopt but are happy to do treatment too
although it's taking it's toll. Adopted or natural I'm happy with both.
I come from a family of children being adopted but many yrs ago.
We all love eachother the same of course! 
Much love X


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