# I would like to offer my support ...... if it's ok .....



## Bangle21 (Dec 17, 2004)

Hi my lovelies !!

Well ..... where do I start ? .....

As you know, I have found this board and all you exceptional ladies to be an absolute Godsend to me over the past couple of years.  It has removed that horrible feeling of isolation and the many nights lying awake and feeling so alone started to disappear, knowing I was actually .... not alone.  I have also enjoyed - (Hopefully) being there for some of you too.  I feel so privelaged to have been involved with such genuine, empathic and lovely girls, whom I would never have had the good fortune to come across if I'd never experienced the pain of IF.

As some of you who attended the meet up will already know, I have been keeping quiet about the + result we got after having Donor Eggs in Barcelona back in August.  Partly, because due to my history, I am still in complete denial about it, but mostly, because I have become so close to you lovely girls on here that I didn't want to be "shouting it from the rooftops" and possibly causing more upset when people are feeling raw as it is .......  I totally understand how "announcements" hurt like hell and I really didn't want to be the one causing that same pain I've experienced so many times myself .....  However, I feel now I have to (for the want of a better word) "announce" it as I would like to be able to continue my support but don't want to do so under false pretences and feel like a bit of a "phoney".

I wanted to wait until I had passed the 12 week mark before "announcing" anything as there was no point in potentially causing any pain if things weren't going to work out after all.  Of course, I am not naive enough to assume that all will go well from now on - I am so aware that there's still time for this to go horribly wrong once again.  But I wanted to ask all of you girls what your thoughts were on me still coming on here and (based on my 7 years' experience of the pain of IF) continuing to offer my support.  I know IF will always be a part of me and I will never ( and wouldn't want to ) ever forget the depth of pain it causes and just how much it interferes with all aspects of life both now and in the future .......

I would really like to respond your messages purely based on my experience of IF over the last 7 years as I really, really will never forget how it feels.  However,  I really appreciate that I could be interpreted as a bit of a "phoney" given what's recently happened for us and I would hate to come across as patronising (God Forbid).  I would also like to add that although I've been on other boards on this site, this one holds a special place in my heart, where I feel I have made some amazing friends and frankly, there's no-one else I'd rather keep in touch with.

Your thoughts on me continuing to pop on and off this board to offer my support would be very much appreciated.  Please be honest, I will absolutely not be offended .... it is important to me to continue my support in whatever way I can, and if that means it's just too difficult to accept my support given my circumstances have now changed, then I totally respect and understand that.

In the meantime, thank you so much to everyone - you are all exceptional human beings and I wish each and every one of you "peace", however that may come for you.

All my love to everyone
Gill xo


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## Maggie Mae (Mar 2, 2006)

Dear Gill, 

If I were in your shoes, I would be writing a post, just have you have done, in the hope that I still had something very valuable to offer. I can only speak for me, but I have always found your posts very supportive and heartwarming, and I would miss them. Yes it does sting to hear about pregnancies, but I have more compassion and tolerance for your success than probably anyone else I know. 

I hope that in the midst of your denial you're taking good care of yourself!


Big luv hunny, 

Leoarna xxx


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## ruby k (Jun 2, 2004)

Gill
Warmest congratulations to you and your dh  
I don't know what to say other than that!
I noticed you had gone quiet and wondered if this was the reason.. really so so happy for you that its worked out this way. Thanks for all your posts, which were/are always very supportive.
Try and 'believe' that it is real tho - if you can....

lots of love, ruby xxxxxxx


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## karen j (May 19, 2004)

Morning Gill

What a suprise, but a nice one.
As the other ladies have said you have given some sound advice over the time I have been on this site, so please feel free to still post here when you can, it will be nice to hear how you are getting on.

Yes it does still hurt to hear about pregnancies, but I do understand why you kept it quiet, but I think it would have been ok to tell us earlier,( I hope the others agree), but it was up to you when to spill the beans.

Big hugs, take care and dont forget where we are.

Karen    xxxxxxx


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Darling Gill

As always, there you go, putting others first before yourself.... your kindness and wisdom and gentleness in this space is a real tribute to the beautiful person that you are and for me, I would be quite devastated to lose contact with you because you have had a success with your last tx. After everything you have been through, and all the years of experience and understanding in what its like to be where a lot of us are at now, it would be a great pity to lose you and your insight and empathy just 'because' you quietly went on your way and got yourself a BFP...

So no, I don't want you to go anywhere, I would like you to stay because I know all those years of angst you have been through don't suddenly get cancelled out once you find yourself pregnant - if anything there are more worries and fears for you now - its a part of the IF legacy - and I am so saddened that you have had the innocence of pregnancy taken so cruelly away from you because of all you have been through. I hope with all my heart that someday soon, you are able to find some of that 'specialness' that others who have not been through the IF journey have in your own pregnancy.

You will always be YOU Gill, whether you are pregnant, or whether you grew gorilla hair all over your body and fought people for their bananas   (!) it makes no odds to me, I like you for YOU!    

Easy on those bananas now girl....  

Lots of love
Emcee xxxxxxxxx


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## flipper (Jul 7, 2004)

I wondered what had happened to you Gill!  Good for you, I'm delighted that it worked out well and good luck for the coming months (and I agree with the other ladies).

flipper


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## Hippy (Aug 2, 2005)

WOW Gill - what wonderful news     when it happens to people who have been through soooo much like you I always feel such a genuine excitement and far from feeling sad your post put a big smile on my face   so thank you for so sensitively sharing this with us x.

I hope the reality will start to sink in really soon and you can then enjoy the very special months ahead, knowing that we are all right behind you. 

Love
Hippy
xxx


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Wow Gill
What a beautiful and thoughtful posting. I wish everyone in life could be so empathetic and caring in life as you!!!
You haven't forgotten and you are aware of how this type of news can have an impact on people and that is so endearing. The most important thing is that you haven't forgotten the pain of IF and thats makes you special, that you can still share and have that input with everyone. I understand why people do tend to block it out, but to beable to understand and put it in its place is more important..
I am so happy for you both!! I am sure that you are very apprehensive and scared about the pregnancy. This is such a shame because IF has a way of taking the joys of being pregnant away....but try and embrace it...
I would love to hear from you and your input is valid as all the other girls have mentioned...
Thanks for a heart warming post...
Lots of love astridxx

p.s What a lovely selfless set of women you are i am also very touched..


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## Bangle21 (Dec 17, 2004)

Hi girls!

Thank you all so much for such lovely, kind words ..... you are all so special - it takes guts to go through what you've all been through and yet still be able to find it in your hearts to wish me well .....

As I said, I know how news like this hurts so deep ....... I'm just so overwhelmed and honoured that you'd all still be happy for me to stick around.  So from now on, I'd like to be there for all of you to compensate for the support all of you have given me over the last 2 years.

Thank you so much for that
All my love
Gill xo


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Hi Gill, i am happy for you to continue posting also. As you know i discovered your bfp on another board and of course it wasnt my place to tell the others. I am glad it is now common knowledge and that you have passed 12 weeks.

Good luck and keep posting xxxx


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## janeo1 (Sep 27, 2006)

Hi Gill

Just read your post....wey hey!!!         what great news after everything you have been through I am so pleased for you.

I am more than happy for you to continue to post on this thread, the fact that you have been successful does not change anything, you still know just how it feels and always will. 
Have a happy pregnancy, you deserve it chuck

Jane


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## Flopsy (Sep 18, 2003)

Gill,

You darling! Congratulations. 

Hope everything goes smoothly from now.

With love from,


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