# Anyone with a test date of the 21st Nov?



## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

Just wondering if anyone has the same test date?


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## febe (Jul 23, 2010)

Hi  

My test date is Monday 22nd.

This 2ww is horrible this is my 5th 2ww.  

Good luck and  

Fe

xx


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## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

Thanks good luck hope this is it for you


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Hi ladies,

My test date is 22 November. This is my first time and it's already making me bonkers! Been calm until yesterday eve when I became all shivery and then woke up all hot and flushed a couple of times last night. Worried I may be catching a cold and it'll not work then! :-(
Sorry for the rant! Is any of this normal?

Wishing you the best of luck xx


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## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

Hi jimjam. It's our first time too. It's so hard to keep busy. I have been feeling a bit flushed I reckon it's down to some of the drugs. There's a lot of hormones floating around in our systems!


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## Joanne hoping for a bfp (Oct 8, 2010)

Hey I'm testing 21st November    but did have a mental breakdown tonight tears the lot though AF was coming and sent DH to buy me a test I knew It would be a bfn but couldn't help myself just had to do it. My emotions are all over the place I think I'm going   I honestly think this has been the hardest by far!


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## Joanne hoping for a bfp (Oct 8, 2010)

Hey I'm testing 21st November    but did have a mental breakdown tonight tears the lot though AF was coming and sent DH to buy me a test I knew It would be a bfn but couldn't help myself just had to do it. My emotions are all over the place I think I'm going   I honestly think this has been the hardest by far!


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## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

Joanne we had the exact same dates! We had egg collection on the 4th and transfer the 7th. We're on our 1st ICSI too!!

I went and bought our tests tonight as I don't keep any in the house. H was breaking his heart laughing cause I bought 3!


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Are u all getting af pains too? All very confusing!  Could be the hormones causing that feeling? Not used to AF pains (as not had proper af in years! Thought I had wind! (sorry.... Tmi!) Which tests did u buy? Does it matter if we use a cheapo one? I've resisted so far, but day by day going crazy  
Lots of luck to everyone!


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## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

I'm a bit crampy but have endo so never can really tell. Also have very very sore boobies but think that the drugs. I just bought clearblue ones as they were on offer. Will be hard to stay away from them!


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## Joanne hoping for a bfp (Oct 8, 2010)

Im having little niggley pains nowt much to complain about, but TMI did have a slight staining of pink in the cream we have to use, but no blood!! Only a week to go wahey!! def cant wait im going totally crazy! I did the other test yesterday morn me thinking by some miracle it would be a BFP but no still a rotten BFN xx


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

It's hard to keep away from the pee sticks!!! 
Joanne... There is loads of time yet for it to become a bfp. Hang in there and step away from the pee sticks!!!!

I'm going to try and keep away till at least Saturday. Sooooo hard! Part of me doesn't dare test too! These hormones are playing games with me!!

Fingers are crossed for u all! Xxx


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

Im testing on 21st november
this is my 5th ivf and after doing 6 iuis too you would think i would be used to this 2ww but i am not. And today i have a dull ache in the bottom of my stomache and pains down my back and legs and my boobs dont hurt like they normally do ( when i have been pregnant in the past, they have always hurt).... i am trying to stay positive, but its hard.....
how you girls holding up

sending big   to everyone and really praying for us all. i want this so much andreally think my time has come!!!!!


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

jbox,

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this time is your turn! Hang in there. Don't worry about the lack of sore boobs. Some women with more than 1 bfp have had different symptoms each time! I think the pessaries are likely to be the main cause of boobache at this stage! 

Hang in there Hun! Xxx


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

thank you thank you thank you for replying, my gawd, us women are amazing...we are all going on with our own personal daily struggles and yet we are still supporting each other. I appreciate your words and your encouragement jimjam and i send them right back to you too. am keeping all my fingers, toes, eyeballs, legs, and anything else crossed for you...

I have been reading past posts in the 2 ww going back a fewmonths. it seems we all stress about the same things  - , back ache, sore boobs, the lack of sore boobs, tummy ache, what to do, exercise vs no exercise etc etc its amazing. have to say tho for me, i didnt suffer bad period pains in the 5 years leading up to my treatments, but when i started this  process, its like every month my period comes, itcomes with a vengence... every twinge is analysed, every ache is centralized and then when it does arrive its like its waving two fingers in my face and saying "Na na nana na!" ... 
Has this treatment made anyone elses periods heavier and more painful than normal  or is it that we just so much more aware of them ?


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## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

JBox I can't offer any help on symptoms as it's our first go and I've only ever had a BFP for one day so I'm no good with signs but I just wanted to wish you well and I really hope this is your turn xxx

I think re the af pain I'm sure all the drugs to build up your lining have some lasting effect and maybe that causes it.


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Thanks Jbox!

I'm not able to help either re AF pains after treatment as this is our first go too, but as starting out says, I'm expecting a nasty AF if this round ends up in a BFN because of all the hormones and poking and prodding that we go through in the lead up to it!, and I can only imagine how much of a kick in the gut that will feel... literally! It must be awful when that happens! I'm not even used to getting a 'normal af' as I became post menopausal 6 yrs ago, so I'm dreading a post-BFN af!  (trying not to be negative but feel I need to prepare myself for the worst!)

XXX


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

I hope u don't mind me asking u this but what does post menapausal mean is it the same as low ovarian reserve (that's what I have been diagnosed with).they told me my chances of getting pregnant are less than 10 percent which just thinking about makes me cry. Anyway the pains in the very lowest part of my tummy have gotten stronger and now my back is hurting so am feeling really low and even tho I'm sitting here drinking pineapple juice and trying to stay positive I am finding it really hard


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Hi JBOX

I'm postmenopausal as I had a few years of chemo in my late teens/early 20s.... This nackered my ovaries and I had an early menopause.... by the age of 24 I had completely gone through the menopause... so I'm post menopausal. Basically my ovaries are no longer visible on ultra sound and have shriveled up to nothing!!! It was really hard to take in at the time and Its only just sunk in really since having my lining scans as it was the first time I was actually shown that there is nothing to see where my ovaries should be! Until then I always hoped that there might have been even the smallest chance I may produce the occational egg!!

I think its slightly different to your situation as I no longer have a cycle and my periods have completely stopped and I have to have HRT as I don't produce oestrogen myself anymore.

It is soo hard, I know... that lower tummy aching does get really strong for me too at times! Sometimes it ends up just being trapped wind! But who knows! It becomes a constant reminder of the 2ww aswell! I've been feeling really sorry for myself too today. I've been trying to do my tax return to take my mind off (and it desperately needs doing), but I just cant concentrate!
I've sent dh to get us some chippy for tea!

Have u got any nice things planned for this week? Something to help pass the time and take your mind off things?

To everyone else.... hope you're all doing ok!

xxx


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## Dancingtiptoe1 (Nov 13, 2010)

Hi there, I'm testing 21st Nov! Went out and bought 2 pregnancy tests today. Feel like i'm going crazy with the wait and desperate to take the test. I'm not that hopeful as i had ICSI, 2 6 cell put back in, one grade 2-3 the other grade 2.


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## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

Good luck Dancingtiptoe!


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## Joanne hoping for a bfp (Oct 8, 2010)

Im back again lol! without TMI have any of you crazy bowel movements    im not going for days and then feels like ive a dogie tummy about 3 days after not going thats been since ET going crazy as usually i get a dogie tummy before AF    xx


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## Dancingtiptoe1 (Nov 13, 2010)

I think the crazy bowel movements are due to the hormones. Are you on cyclogest pessaries? My nurse said they cause constipation. I also reckon nerves doesn't help! I'm sitting here counting down each minute until I can do my test on Sunday


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## Joanne hoping for a bfp (Oct 8, 2010)

Me too lol im using crinone, dont go for days then hits all of a sudden thats twice its happened now just hope the AF stays away!!!       im so tempted to do another test but thinking everyday Af doesnt come its another day hanging on to my lil follies  this wait does drive you crazy i think they should sedate you for the 2ww rofl xxx


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

JimJam, 

i am so sorry to have asked you such a personal question and now hearing your answer, i have even more admiration for you and thank you even more for your kind words to me... what a brave girl you are to have gone through what you have been through and now to go through the whole fertility treatment thing too. I really hope it works out for you, well for everyone really. My pains have subsided and i really dont know what to think anymore. i have no boob pain, which as i said before, I have always had, and i actually dont feel anything anymore. not periody and not not periody if you know what i mean! i suppose, like everyone,  its just a wait and see. Deep down for the first time ever, I think that this may have worked and actually after 2+ years of trying and countless fertility treatments, i might actually be preggers, but i dont want to jump the gun. If i see a neg result from my bt on sunday, it will crush me coz this time does feel different. probably due to my pma more than anything. My consultant has advised that failing this treatment,  i move on to egg donation, but i just cant get my head round that at all at the moment and am not willing to give up on the treatments for as long as i can ( i dont pay for anything here but for the drugs which is very very subsidised and costs around 100 pounds a month). anyway... i am not going to think about that til i have to and at the moment i am just going to think about the positive blood test and the high numbers, and the little dot growing inside me, and the little baby i am going to deliver in 9 months time!!!!!!...hope you are doing the same. 

speak to you later on hon... and again, thanks and good luck with this horrible 2ww xxx


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

ok, 
now all my positivity vibes have gone straight out the window... girl who sits next to me at work has just come in. have noticed that she has put on a bit of weight recently, but have no doubt now in my mind that she is pregnant ( child no 3). her tummy is bigger and rounder and well, she just looks it... she obviously hasnt told anyone yet, but i cant bear it, how can it be so easy for some and so difficult for others? and now am i going to have to have that literally in my face for the next few months. dont think i can handle it.. please please please please let this be my month...


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## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

JBox it's so hard to stay positive I'm really starting to struggle now. I have all the usual af signs and none that point to it having worked. I also have a pain in my left side that has me a bit worried about my left ovary (afraid maybe a cyst). It's so unfair that some people never have to try and yet we have to go through all this.


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Morning ladies!

OMG! So much wind this morning! Been struggling to hold it in while in bed! DH finally left for work, do can parp to my hearts content! Better out than in!!

Dancing tiptoe... Hi and welcome! Hope you 2ww is passing by ok.

Starting out, joanne: how are u doing?

Jbox: Thanks for your lovely kind words! Personal questions are absolutely fine. Happy to share. To be honest, it's nice to tell someone. All my family and friends knew about the chemo, but I've been keeping the ivf/egg donation under my hat! I'm worried about gossiping family members! With egg donation I think it should come from me/dh when our child eventually finds out! Not other wagging tongues! Also, I've found the infertility thing much much harder to cope with than the times when I was poorly. I am grateful to be well now. Have a wonderful life, achieved all I wanted, so lucky to have a wonderful dh, but I can't help feeling slightly bitter about being unable to have kids. I find that unless people have experienced similar, they just don't understand. 
I've even been thought of as "selfish" for persuing the IVF which is so costly when DH already has a son from a prev marriage that of course needs our love, time and attention. Sometimes feel guilty that we are spending so much on IVF, when that money could be put towards his future/education etc. I am wracked with guilt over it all! 
Also, been considered selfish as I'm persueing IVF instead of adopting. I am very grateful for all I have, and I know there are so many kids who need a loving home, but I don't have it in me I don't think to take a child on as my own. I care deeply for stepson, I've been in his life since he was 4, he is now 9, but he doesn't feel like he's my son. It's been like I've missed the first 4 chapters and it's been a difficult bond to build. That's ok when he has a mum, he doesnt need me to be his mum, but if we adopted that poor child will need me to love them like my own. Not sure if I'm capable! 

Sorry for the rant! It's been playing on my mind. 

As for pregnant ladies.. It's very tricky!! You want to be pleased for them, but can't help longing! It's such a magical thing! I can't help staring at bumps and wondering what it feels like! It's hard when it's in your face all the time! Everyone seems preggars right now!!!!

Jbox.. I truely hope it's your turn this time 

Fingers crossed for us all, ladies. Sorry for the long rant! Xxx


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## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

Jimjam you have been through so much I'm in awe of your strength and hope you see that bfp on Sunday xxxx


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

Me too. you sound like one helll of a wonderwoman!!! what inner strength you have. I also have a step child - she is now 15 and living with us full time and i know exactly how you feel regarding the loving her thing. i care immensly for her, have known her since she was just 9 but its not the same. I also have a beautiful amazing wonderful stunning gorgeous 3 year old who was conceived entirely naturally and spontaneously and delivered with no complications. And my husband suffered from testicular cancer over 10 years ago and underwent intensive chemo too, but ironically the problem of our infertility is entirely due to me and he is just fine!!!I also feel terribley guilty and "wrong" for going through this month after month and wanting something so much when actually i do have a little ( if not slightly unconventional) family at home, but I want my daughter to have a sibling from me and I always dreamed of a family with a load of kids etc...I now realise that 2 of my own would be a blessing and not to want for more than that....I stupidly have told people what i am going through as its the only way to really get people off my back when they ask that dreaded question - - dont you want another one? aaaaaaaaaaargh!!! anyway i have deviated.... wanted to tell you jimjam to check out the site childlessstepmums.co.uk. helpd me get thro some tough times, and also to say, keep up that PMA, you are an inspiration....
fingers crossed for us all, jim jam and starting out....    xxxxxxxxxx


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Thanks starting out & jbox!

Jbox... Will def have a look at that website! Sounds like just what I need!
Of course you would like to give your DD a sibling to grow up together with. I am 3 yrs older than my brother, and we had a brilliant childhood together. I think my stepson has missed out a great deal, not having a sibling to grow up with. If we were lucky enough, we would love to have 2 more kids, so they can grow up together. I'm sure stepson will be a fab big bro to them! Here's hoping!

My fingers are crossed for u all ladies! We are all strong and brave to be going through such times! Not easy! Stay strong! We'll get there, eventually!! Xx


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## Joanne hoping for a bfp (Oct 8, 2010)

Hey ladies just on to let you know my journey is over      The stupid AF came today     
Good luck to you all waiting I hope you dont have to go through what im feeling atm xxx


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## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

Joanne I'm so so sorry.


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

joanne, I'm so sorry Hun! :-(

I hope u don't mind me asking, Have u rang your clinic? Your otd wasn't till 21st? Is there any chance it could be an implantation bleed? So so sorry, big hugs your way!  Xxx


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

Joanne
U r a bit early for af are u sure? Is there anyway it might not be? Don't eant to give u false hope but maye do what jimjam says and call the clinic? Sending big hugs


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## Dancingtiptoe1 (Nov 13, 2010)

Hi Joanne 
I'm so sorry to hear your news. So many big hugs to you. I hope the others are right and its an implantation bleed. XXXX


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## Joanne hoping for a bfp (Oct 8, 2010)

I rang them this morn and they said too early to tell was light earlier starting to get heavier now so doubt its implantation bleeding so wish it was xx


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

hon, i am really sorry i know that feeling all too well. the hardest thing about this whole process is the emotional rollercoaster - the ups and downs.  if you are absolutely sure, then go with the flow (so to speak) and treat yourself to something really nice - a bit or retail therapy, a huge hot chocolate, a manicure.... something to make you feel a bit more human again.... 
I woke up this morning with terrible back pains and a dull ache in my lower tummy - am really really upset, but just hoping and praying that its nothing and will pass!. I never actually get my period until i stop the progesterone so I will just have to wait til i test on sunday, but i am leaning towards buying a hpt and doing it on friday ( something i havent done in about a year as i could never bear the let down!!)
sending you a big big big hug and hope to hear from you again 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Dancingtiptoe1 (Nov 13, 2010)

I am so upset. My AF came this morning. I feel so numb and shocked and don't know how I'm going to get through the day


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

I am so so sorry I feel like mine is coming too life si so s**t


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## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

I'm so sorry xxx


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## Dancingtiptoe1 (Nov 13, 2010)

thanks girls. Jimjam i hope yours doesn't come. Life is so unfair.    My friends seem to get pregnant the first month they try.
hubby taken day off so going for a long walk and hopefully clear my head. hope it all works for you - lots of positive thoughts to you. xxxxx


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## Jen C (Nov 14, 2010)

Hi Ladies

I'm due to test on 21st, but i'm not feeling to confident  . I had 4 eggs collected 3rd Nov, only 2 fertilised so i had them both transferred (2 and 4 cell) transferred Friday 5th Nov. I've been spotting since last Thursday pm (11th) increased over the weekend, decreased yesterday, but today it think its increased again.  Also i've had cramps and back ache since yesterday afternoon, plus my AF is due today.  The hospital said if could be the pesseries irritating my cervix, so i have opted to use them rectally (nice!) this doesn't seem to of made any difference. Has anyone else had spotting?

I was certain over the weekend that is hasn't worked, but now i have AF symptons especially back ache which i dont usually get could i have a slim chance or i'm just desperate for this to work?

This 2WW is driving me insane!

Good luck for those still waiting and bigs hugs to those who's AF has arrived ( i have a feeling i'll be joining you


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## Dancingtiptoe1 (Nov 13, 2010)

Hi Jen C, keep hoping that if your AF was due today and it hasn't yet then fingers crossed!  I know you shouldn't till your test date but have you done a pregnancy test yet? I still have to test on the 21st ( even though i'm bleeding), and my ET was on Sunday 7th, so it seems like your clinic have asked you to wait 16 days before a test

also can anyone else tell me how to put the pink writing on my profile about what i;ve had done, ICSI, ET's etc? I don't know how to do it? 

Been eating chocolate cake all afternoon and watched a DVD. Desparately not trying to go to the loo too often as hate seeing the blood.     although, it seems to have slowed down the past 2 hours. am i clinging onto false hope.......  

xxx


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## Jen C (Nov 14, 2010)

Hi dancingtiptoe!

I've just rang the hospital and they've suggested I carry until test date, so ive come home popped another perserrie in hoping that it will keep at away. The nurse did say progesteronshould stop af, but doesn't always work for everyone. 

No I haven't done a test, I dont want to give myself false hope. Has anyone else had bleeding then got a bfp?

I swear I must go to the toilet 5 times an hour! What makesthis worse is at work it's like a bloody maternity ward, 10 people are pregnant on my floor and there always in the loo as well.


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## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

Jen Joanne and dancingtiptoe I really hope its not bad news for you guys and that its just implantation bleeding. I have everything crossed xxxx


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## Dancingtiptoe1 (Nov 13, 2010)

Thanks startingout, but i know my journey is over. The bleeding has got heavier and its just like a period now.   i've cried so much today my eyes are so puffy and stinging. I hope there's more positive news for some of you over the next few days. Good luck girls.


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## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

Oh hun I'm so so sorry xxx


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Hi ladies.
Sorry to hear you're all having a sh*+*y time! I've been down and out today too. Terrible lower back pain, just feel like it hasn't worked. Don't know why. Just how I feel :-(. Convinced I've rejected the embies. (added complication of immune issues)

Was stupid enough to do hpt yesterday and u don't need me to tell u what it said! I feel really silly now. :-( 

So sorry for those of u who are bleeding too. Must be horrid for u! Such a worry. I think the advice of rest and treating and pampering is good advice.  

Hopefully we'll all have a better day tomorrow! 
Xxx


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Dancingtiptoe: I'm so sorry Hun! Xxx


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## Surfergirl (Apr 30, 2010)

Hi jimjam,

Found you on here now too!!

Just wanted to say that I've been feeling the same as you - very negative and convinced it hasn't worked again. I don't feel anything - exactly the same as last time. I have put my moodiness today down to the hormones!!

I'm terrified about doing the test on Monday - I almost would rather not know if that makes sense?!

Hope you feel better soon xx


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.... so many women on here started out so positive and now look at us all. Dancing tiptoe and JenC, i am so sorry, but hang in there you just NEVER NEVER know. it aint over til the fat lady sings and she aint singing til 2st of november okJim Jam, that goes for you too....

I am really saying this to give myself a boost, had a terrible terrible day yesterday with awful lower back and tummy pains alll day and i was a crying wreck most of the day, i ended up taking paracetomol it was so bad ( i never take drugs unless i have to), and sitting / sleeping with a hot water bottle on my back and begging my husband for a massage. I also had an accupuncture sess. yesterday which didnt do anything . Today the pain is there, but nothing like yesterday. Just to top it all up, i met up with my friend who was my cycle buddy back in MAY and is now 6 months pregnant with twins. 

After all my goings on about not testing til Dday I went a bought a test - something i havent done for about a year. I havent opened it yet coz i am just too nervous and just dont want to see another negative... but i am tempted to go for it tomorrow or saturday. My boobs dont hurt, my tummy just aches, but back is agony and i still dont want to test coz i keep thinking that maybe maybe maybe by some long shot i might see a positive but maybe i should just go for it so i can put this month behind me and move on?


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## Jen C (Nov 14, 2010)

Thanks JBox,  well AF is definitely here   so i thought sod it i'll do a test and to no surprise if was BFN.  Rang the hospital who said to carry with pregesterone and test again on 21st - nothing like dragging this out.  I'm gutted, but kind of expected it, i would have been devastated on Sunday if i'd had no symptons and got a BFN.

The only symptons i have now is back ache and i don't usually suffer with anything, great!


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

i am so so so sorry darling, looks like ill be joining you as pains really kicked in  again in last half hour ... sending you huge huge hug and go and do something nice for yourself.... you deserve it luv
x


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## Dancingtiptoe1 (Nov 13, 2010)

Hi JenC I'm soooo sorry. My clinic also told me to keep taking the pessaries and still do a test on Sunday. AArgh. i can't see why when it's obvious i'm in full flow. Off to my mums today for some TLC. I hope you get through the day - will be thinking of you. 

jBox - fingers crossed for you, they really really are. Sending you lots and lots of positive thoughts.   Hang on in there, just a few more days and do the test then. Try not to  do it today -  if you are pregnant it probably won't show and you'll give yourself more upset if you see a BFN today. 

JimJam hope you're feeling a little more positive today. 

Ladies, fingers crossed that someone on the 21st gets a BFN. It'd be nice to hear some good news. 

XX


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## Jen C (Nov 14, 2010)

Jbox, Dancingtiptoe - i have plan!!!!

I said to DH that if this doesn't work were booking a holiday    we'll wait until Sunday just incase!!!

We've always wanted to go skiing in Canada (our holiday last year got cancelled - airline went bump) so at least i've got something to look forward to this Christmas/New Year and then i'll only have aroudn 6 weeks before i start treatment again    

My fingers are still crossed for everyone, you never know!


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

thank you sweet dancing tiptoe.....
really really really appreciate the positive vibes,need them big time over here!!!

think your plan jen c sounds like a fine one, might have to do the same. 
thats after i have had a huge glass of wine


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## Jen C (Nov 14, 2010)

Yes JBox, most definitely after a huge glass of Vino!


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## Dancingtiptoe1 (Nov 13, 2010)

I downed half a bottle of red last night!!!!   Worked a treat. 
Holiday sounds like a great plan JenC. I'd like to go to see the Northern lights, might start looking now for places


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Thanks ladies!

Surfergirl: good to see u on here! Sorry to hear u're feeling similar. 

I've got to stop doing hpts... Did another today... Bfn of course! I don't know why I do it. I think it's because others test early and get bfps, so I've somehow got it into my head that if there's no sign of bfp by now, there won't be on Monday! I can't bare to test on monday! I don't want to know! (and I do at the same time) 

Jen c: your positive plans sound fab!!!

I think that's the way forward everyone!Plan some nice things! 

Jimjam xxx


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## Jen C (Nov 14, 2010)

DancingTT - wine and Northern Lights sound fab    

Jimjam, fingers crossed its your time  

I was going to start my diet today, but i think i'll wait until Monday, bring on the chocolate and cookies


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## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

I'm so sorry guys hope your plans help take your mind off it a  bit.

Jimjam its probably still too early.

Jen C waiting till monday sounds like a good plan


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

Am getting so nervous... Have never felt like this before and really don't know if its worked or not. At this stage I normally know. I feel kind of periody and back achey but my boobs don't hurt which worries me and I keep prodding and poking them to check. Think I'm gonna get up early and do a sneaky hpt tomorrow am while hubby is still asleep. I hate that my every waking thought is about this test and analysing every single twinge and lack of. I am just so nervous of getting a negative result and not being able to cope...


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

jbox, you're not alone! I feel the same! 

Be careful about testing early, I've been doing that, and I'm completely deflated by seeing bfn! Also, if u read the back of pack, u will see how much less accurate the hpt is, even 2 days b4 af is due!

I don't feel pregnant (not sure what I'm basing this on) Yes, my boobs kill, I've gone up 1 cup size and I'm feeling sick and unwell, my lower back really hurts too but I always feel like that when I take progesterone (I have to take it for 2 weeks everymonth as part of my hrt)
As far as feeling unwell goes, my glands are up so I've prob. picked up some viral bug. 

Basically, I know it's hard. I know u desperately want it over. I understand about not being sure how you'll cope if it's a bfn. Is that why u want to do hpt while DH is sleeping? So he's not seeing your reaction? I'm nervous of testing in front of my dh. Thing is, be careful not to do what I've done and test early, I'm at a point now where I just don't want to know on Monday!!  

Hang in there chick. Thinking of u and I've got everything crossed for u!! 
Xxx


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

Thanks jim jam for ur reply. To be honest day 14 is on saturday but clinic not open on saturday so I'm testing on sunday but if I do a hpt tomorrow morning then I will be spot on date wise. So nervous. We have been thro this so many times and even tho m$y husband is really amazing supportive loving and understanding I still feel that this hits me more than him and at least if he is asleep I can deal with it on my own for a bit if that makes any sense.is it a fact that the progesterone supps give u back ache coz my back has been just really painful throughout a bit like a dull nagging tooth ache


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

I understand that... I think I'll take it worse than my DH. Of course he wants a baby with me, but if it doesn't work out, he still has a son. It'll be me that's left childless. I understand that many of us feel the way you do, as our DHs will always react differently to us. 

I'm not sure that it's a fact re progesterone, I just know that I take it regularly as part of my hrt, and each time I'm on the progesterone part of my cycle I get that dull "toothache" like back ache! Not nice! It's kept me up since 4am along with pounding headache, and dizzyness. (although, I think I've got a bug brewing as feel properly poorly today)

It's day 14 for me too I think on sat (et was sat 6th I think they were 2d embryos) Have I calculated right? I daren't test. I don't want to face it. When I do, finally test, I want a few mins alone too!  

I have everything crossed for u!

Off to buy some new bras! (not a good thing... I'm now a 32g and 5ft2!!)

Love to everyone!
Xxx


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

Our dates r the same I also did et on sat 6th and it was a 2 day transfer too. So day 14 is tomorrow no? I tell u its been the longest 2 weeks so much has happened! Anyway enjoy the bra shopping I'm gonna chill out this afternoon and watch some crappy flick got friends over for dinner later and have just finished cooking! Jimjsm reallllllllllllly good luck sending u all the best for tomorrow and let's touch base in the morning xxx


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## Jen C (Nov 14, 2010)

I had my ET Fri 5th Nov, so i thought today i'd be 14dpt or is it 15? 

My clinic wanted me to test on Monday, i asked could would it make a difference to test on Sunday as i didn't fancy going into work straight afterwards.  Although i did test, BFN on Wednesday as i think AF was here, i'd been spotting since 6 or 7pt which increased to a bleed 10dpt, then back to spotting11dpt, then a bleed 13dpt and has now reduced to spotting again!


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

6am just did a test and it was a BFN am so devastated don't know how I'm gonna get thru the day


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## Jen C (Nov 14, 2010)

Sorry jbox, I also did a test this morning and got a bfn   I think you should spend the day treating yourself  not sure what happens now, how long I have to wait until I can try again. Will I get a period now I've stopped the progesterone? I've been bleeding/spotting for the past 8 days so I assumed that was my period? Dont fancy another wk of af 

Fingers crossed for those still waiting to test xxx


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

Jen c I am so sorry it just really sucks I just don't know what my options r now. Egg donation which totally freaks me out. I would love to chat to someone who has done this and has had a child befor coz the idea of having another this way makes me really conflicted. I still have to get up and do a blood test to confirm tomossor morning but I know that thr hpt is right coz I feel so periody today and just want to curl up in a ball and disappear but I can't coz my husband has arranged to see friends we haven't seen for ages and its too late to blow them out. Have to put on a smile and pretend everything is ok. I am so sad. I'm sorry for being so me me me but I really was feeling so positive this month I really thought this was it I just can't believe it.


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

so sorry girls, bfn for me too. :-(. Otd isn't till Monday so I've got to continue with drugs till then. Feels like I'm flogging a dead horse. :-(. 
I'm feeling so angry with it all. Didn't think idfeel like that. 
Jbox: this was my first round with egg donation. Other than the result, it was a positive experience. I'll do it again. No kids yet for me though, but carrying them, giving birth and being there from day 1 is all I wish for. My ed has been in Spain, where theymatch yourphysical characteristics, blood group etc too, with complete anonymity! It's illegal for u or child to find out/trace your donor there. And illegal for donor to trace child.  That all helps for me. 
If u need any advice, I'm here x
So sorry for both of u! Gutting!!! 
Xxx


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

JimJam I am so sorry I feel like we have been going thro this together and I so know what u feel too xxx it makes me angry and bitter and I hate that feeling. Don't think I'm gonna even bother going for blood tests don't see what's the point I jist want to get thru today and move on. The worst thing for me and I think u might understand and not hate me for saying this coz I hate myself for feeling this way, is that on days like today I find it hard to be round my stepdaughter. Its so awful but she represents so mich of what I don't have is that terrible? I am pleased that today she is with her mum coz tomorrow ill feel better about it all.  Sending u a huge hug hon and remember this is only ur first go next time hopefully it will be ur time xxxx


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## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

Guys I'm so so sorry. Thinking of you both xxx


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Thanks starting out & jbox

Jbox: u hit the nail on the head. Stepson is with us this weekend, and it's like rubbing salt into wound. Can't stop crying and dh can't be with me as he needs to be with his son. Feel so alone. :-(
Also feeling silly for being so devastated.  What did I expect for our first go!

I don't understand: it was a textbook cycle, I'm worried that my body will reject any embryos coming my way, no matter how good!  

:-(


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

Don't think like that u can't and its not true coz if it were ur drs would have told u not worth trying. U just have to think that it didn't work this tume but next time fingers crossed... Please go out do not stay at home while ss is there if it makes u feel bad xxx


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Big hug to u jbox. It must be hard to contemplate egg donation. Especially when u already haven't had to. It was different for me, as I had no other choice from the start. It's time to rest, heal and then perhaps consider it with a clear head. 
I've been on a thread called IM cycle buddies. It's ladies who go to my clinic who have had ed or embryo adoption. Many have had success stories along with already having children of their own. It may be worth a look, as there are some lovely, honest accounts on there. I completely understand how the whole concept must freak u out. I hope you're ok, all things considered! Thinking of u! It's Been a long road for you, and I hope with all my heart that your dreams will come true for u!

AFM: dh has taken ss out for the day. Breaks my heart that I can't be around him right now. I was babysitting him last night so dh could have a well needed  boys night out (a rare occasion for him). SS was such a good boy for me. He senses something is up as he was concerned and asking about my health. Feel terrible that I can't be around him today. 

Right, time to dust myself down, take a shower, put on some slap and carry on!  

Everyone else with an imminent otd: all my fingers and toes are still crossed for you! 
Surfergirl: thanks so much for your lovely pm! Thinking of u! Let me know how u go! I'll PM u in a bit.

Fingers crossed for some lovely BFPs!!!


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## Dancingtiptoe1 (Nov 13, 2010)

Jimjam, jbox and jenc, sorry for all of your BFNs. Life can be so hard. My AF is nearly over now. Can't wait for it to finish as the blood reminds me every time of the BFN. I hope someone on this thread has a BFP. StartingOut, are you the only one left of us who could have a BFP? sending you lots of positivity    

JBox, if you don't feel like seeing your friends later then don't go. You MUST treat yourself over the next few days as the priority, not other people. It's hard to put on a big smile especially as the wound is so sore.

I hope things get a little easier for everyone. 

Lots of love. DTT. xxxxxxxx


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

Thanks and hugs to u all. I did go out with the friends and actually it was very nice coz the weather was amazing ( I don't live in uk!!) And it really took my mimd off everything but now I'm home and I just had arguement about sd with my husband and I feel like sh**t! I'm not going to test tomorrow but I am going to call my dr and go see him about moving forward with the whole egg donation thing obvoously as I was told by my first insensitive horrible dr "my eggs are no good and chances of me having a baby with my own are very limited" I will have a look at that thread jimjam and thanks for pointing me in that direction. I sooooooooo know how ur feeling re ds its very hard and very few people get that. But I am sure ur time will come you so deserve it after everything u have been thro. I can't stop eating rubbish and my period is coming and I want to go hide under my duvet but my little one wants to go to the park and since she is my reason for carrying on, I gotta go. 5ancing tiptoe I really hope the end of af means u can move on physically and emotoionally I can't wait for mine to start now! Sending big love to u all u have really got me thro the last couple of weeks and anyone else left to test on this thread hurry up and get a BFP ready!!!! Xxxxxx


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## starting out (Jul 19, 2010)

I'm so sorry guys I have been thinking of you all and sending you strength at this time xxxx. I hope there is happy news just around the corner for you all. 


Dancingtiptoe not sure if I am the only one left but it's a bfp for me.


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

Starting out : HUGE CONGRATULATIONS u must be so happy I am so happy for you!!! Finally someone on this thread gets some good news I am so pleased. Hang on in there and keep us updated Xxxxxx


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

starting out, that's great news . So pleased for you!

Fingers crossed for dancingtiptoe! And anyone else still waiting. 
I've been told to stay on the drugs till tomorrow and test again. I doubt very much anything will change, so not holding out any hope. Feel really annoyed at using the pessaries when I don't need to!

Dh and I are slowly getting our head round things and making plans got our frosties. 

Jbox: glad u had a nice day with friends 

Keep me posted how you all are getting on! 
Love to u all, you've all been such a support to me! 

Jimjam xxx


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## Dancingtiptoe1 (Nov 13, 2010)

Startingout CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! that's fantastic news. So good to hear that someone has a BFP! 

I obviously had a BFN not suprising with a full blown AF for past 5 days. 

Fingers crossed girls it works out for all of us if and when we do another cycle.
Lots of love DancingTiptoe xxx


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

I'm so sorry dancingtiptoe. Big hugs your way!

Xxx


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## JBox (Oct 31, 2010)

Talk about prolonging the agony... Went this am to do my beta test which is the same referral as the bts I do throughout the cycle (e2 and prog) and the stupid nurse took the wrong test so I have no definitive ansa following my negative hpts on saturday have to go back tomorrow to do them again. I know its a negative but my clinic require a blood test result in order to move on. So annoyed.


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

I feel your agony hon. I'm dying to get bloods over with tomorrow so we can move on. I'm resenting these blasted bum bullets now but still popping them in till I get the result as advised! Talk about rubbing the salt in!! What a silly nurse!!
Chilling a nice bottle of wine for tomorrow! It is slowly sinking in and I cried a little less today.

Let's hope we can both let go and move on tomorrow! Totally understand re *** binge btw! Xxx


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## febe (Jul 23, 2010)

HI all

Congrats to those who got BFP

And sending hose of you with BFN   and   you have success next time.

We were so lucky this month and finally got out BFP after 3 unassisted IUI and 2 Assisted IUI, still hasn't sunk in yet but will do once the sickness start and we get our eearly scan.

Fe

xx


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