# Should I Go for Donor Sperm?



## Maisie3 (Oct 2, 2006)

Hi

I'm 41 and 2/3rds and my clock is ticking!!!!!!!!!  I would lovely a sibling for my gorgeous son but I'm now single (first son conceived after 3 rounds of IVF) - our problem in theory was my ex's vasectomy however I did need IVIG..................I have had 2 more attempts, one successful but with a MC.........................shall I go for DS............I am dithering because I think my friends/family would be horrified but you only get one life and having Matty was the best thing I've ever done.

How quick is it to get DS - how do you find out about your match - I'm off back to bankcrupt myself at the ARGC but am wondering about IUI as a cheaper option - is it really likely to suceed............even writing this I know I'm back on the roller coaster after 2 years off..........here goes    god I must be mad

Maisie
xxx


----------



## hopefullyvsoon (Apr 1, 2011)

Hi Maisie

Yes go for it!  I am in a very similar situation to yourself and now stimming ready for DIUI.  Best of luck xx


----------



## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi Ya,

I went for donor sperm (from Cryos in Denmark) and had a stimulated IUI in the CZ.  The total cost including sperm was about 1/5th of the cost of doing it in the UK.  I used known donor sperm so it was a bit more expensive.  I also reserved quite a bit for siblings so again higher cost.    If you use the clinic's own anonymous sperm it's even cheaper (circa €300 euros all in).  

I found choosing a donor, shipping the sperm, dealing with the clinic's personell and getting the Stimulated IUI quite easy. 

Good luck with your choice and if you need any help with the process feel free to PM.  

God Bless,

Dawn


----------



## Fraggles (Jul 3, 2009)

Hi 


Yes go for it.


Dawn how many vials did you buy and how many have you left in reserve for next one?


x


----------



## Rose39 (Dec 9, 2007)

Maisie - as the other ladies have said, it's very straightforward to import donor sperm to clinics inside and outside the UK (UK clinics need to have ID release sperm that meets UK standards). 

It sounds from your post that you'd regret not trying - so I'd say why not try... we're all nervous about what friends and family will say but in my case, I've had huge amounts of support and encouragement from both and very little negativity.

I just wanted to flag that I don't think that ARGC treat single women - but there are other clinics out there that have a very good reputation for ladies in their forties (e.g. the Lister). 

It would be worth getting your FSH, AMH etc tested as things can change quite significantly in 2 years and that would help you make a decision on whether IUI or IVF would be most appropriate. 

If you need help with immunes, then Nottingham Care may be a good clinic to consider as they do immune testing and treatment as well as CGH testing, which would enable you to identify the chromosomally normal embryos and increase the chances of success, as more eggs have abnormalities as you get into your forties (hence higher miscarriage rates).

On a legal front (don't want to pry and apologies in advance but some ladies don't know about this stuff and it can come as a big surprise!), you mentioned that you're single but not if you're separated or divorced. For women who have been married and are separated (but not divorced) there are legal implications for having donor tx, as it is presumed that your husband is the legal father of the baby. This may not be relevant at all to you, but I thought it worth posting, in case it does apply and other ladies may find it useful info. The "ask a lawyer" thread on FF has answers to this type of post from previous posters (try the FF search function), and there are ways around it, but worth checking out.

Good luck!

Rose xx


----------



## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Fraggles - I bought 4 originally.  I used 1 and have 3 left.  I also have had my clinic give me 2 vials free (they can't sell them so they have offered them to me) I just have to pay for shipping.  So all together I have 5 vials potentially for a 100% genetic sibling.  

I figure if I don't use all of them in my next TX there has got to be another single girlie out there who would want them and is using my clinic.  We'd have 1/2 siblings which would be cool!    I'm sure there's some dodgy rules about saying that on here but hey.    *laugh*

Dawn


----------



## Maisie3 (Oct 2, 2006)

Hi

Thanks everyone - thats brillant - I didn't know about ARGC not treating single women so thats really helpful.  My divorce goes to court on 5th May and then 6 weeks after that the absolute - so not far off but I'm keen to get going so will also look at the legal thread.  I have been to the Lister before and more local than Nottingham so maybe I'll go there.

Can I ask about the DS - do you get to know anything about the donor - the thought scares me a bit (alot) -  is it easy to get DS - would seem so why would I need to import?

Will book an appointment at the Lister on Monday - what about the London Women's clinic - they offer DS IUI for £850 a treatment - has anyone done this?

Thanks alot everyone again

Maisie
xxx


----------



## Rose39 (Dec 9, 2007)

Maisie - not all UK clinics have easy access to donor sperm, or at least a choice of donors, especially if you have specific matching requirements (hair colour, eye colour, education, height, whether donor proven etc) and some clinics ask you to import if they don't have their own donor bank. The overseas donor banks such as ESB, Xytex, Cryos provide more detailed information for you to pick your donor, often photos of the donor as a child and sometimes audio files so you can hear them speaking. Have a browse on the Cryos international website and you can download detailed donor profiles and photos for free - to give you an idea of the level of detail you get - you would need to have an ID release/ non-anonymous donor that complies with UK standards. Other websites provide a donor overview and then you pay to download more info on the donor.

Several of us have used LWC due to its long history of treating single women and its donor bank - I moved to an overseas clinic when I switched to donor eggs. The £850 purely pays for a vial of donor sperm from LWC's donor bank, not the IUI treatment itself. A cycle of natural IUI costs around £1500 and stimulated IUI around £1850 (these prices include the donor sperm), plus you'd need the initial consultation and up to date screening tests. 

The info you would get on the donor from LWC is typically height, hair colour, eye colour,  job, religion, education, a little on hobbies and interests. I've just looked on the LWC website and you can click through to the London Sperm Bank website (this is LWC's donor bank) which has a catalogue of all their donors online - this gives you the overview info I just mentioned.

LWC do events called Inseminars where you can learn more about their treatments and they usually give you a discount off the first consultation if you've attended one of these events. 

Hope this helps!

Rose xx


----------



## AmandaB1971 (Feb 19, 2006)

Hi

I just wanted to say Maisie thanks for posting this and you are not on your own at being scared by the DS issue.  I have done 4 cycles of ICSI with my ex DH (Male factor) and then had a rebound relationship 2 months after he left me and got pg after first    Only then to lose the pg at 10 weeks.  I have then been in another relationship for the last 11 months and that's just ended.  (I know train crash life or what!  )  I am 40 and I am seriously now considering DS as a way to achieve my dream to be a mummy but I am also scared by the prospect and don't really understand the whole process and so gingerly stuck my head round the door of this board to see what I could see and here was your post - perfick!  

Good Luck Hun and thanks to everyone who's replied I've found it helpful too!  

Axxx


----------



## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

It was a sign Amanda


----------



## AmandaB1971 (Feb 19, 2006)

LLot said:


> It was a sign Amanda


Do you think so hun? 

Axxx


----------



## Aprilisthebest (Jul 21, 2011)

Hi okay so im only 21 which you may all gasp and wonder what right i have to post after some of you are older and have genuine medical reasons for wanting sperm donor pregnancies but to be honest ive wanted to be a mum for as long as i can remember and because of this i feel im too picky when it comes to men as i want them to be perfect and i therefore have no luck with them however having donor sperm it seems to me you cut out the middle man as it were. i have been researching for serveral weeks but i still havent really found a step by step on what to do? so many abreviations and things are causing my brain to over load! anyone got any advice for me? anything with regards to where to start my journey maybe not tomoro but at some stage with regards to being a mum... a single one
Thank you


----------



## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

april, 

you have two options with donor sperm:
1. find a donor (eg via the various websites or by asking friends/acquaintances) and do artificial insemination at home (plenty of hints and tips on this on the gay/lesbian thread as they are more likely to use known donor, most of us singlies go via clinics) - this is the cheaper option by far but you need to be very careful before going ahead that you have clarified expectations on both sides as donor would legally be father and could claim custody/parental rights

2. go via a fertility clinic. google for private ones in your area, or loads in London. Many of us use London Womens Clinic as they have a large sperm bank. you simply make an initial appt for consultation and it goes from there. you'll need various tests doing - some for fertility such as FSH/LH, others for screening (eg HIV/chlamydia) - your GP may agree to do some of these for free, some can be done for free at local GUM clinic (google for yours). Otherwise you will have to pay the clinic for these tests before you go ahead with any treatment
Many clinics have sperm banks and can provide sperm. Those that don't can usually help you import from a sperm bank
Costs for insemination vary from clinic to clinic but expect to pay ca £800-1500 per attempt with the cost of sperm being additional to this
to cut costs you could go abroad - eg to the Czech Republic - where tx costs are so low for IUI that even with travel and hotels you save money - have a look at single abroadies thread and/or singles having IUI for more information

be aware that most UK clinics will require you to have at least one counselling session prior to treatment - as you are relatively young to be going ahead with this sort of treatment, you may, more than others perhaps, have to show you've really thought things through 
of course you have every right to be a mum as the rest of us and age isn't necessarily a barrier, but I simply suspect that clinics may be a little surprised and potentially concerned by your youth - so you may find yourself having to justify things more than perhaps some of us older singlies do...rightly or wrongly....

I would very much recommend that you read some of the literature around becoming a single mother by choice - have a look on Amazon for the Mikki Morrissette and Jane Mattes books - both are an excellent start point to the considerations we all face
also have a look at the DCN (Donor Conception Network) website - lots of useful information there too

hope this has helped
Suitcase
x


----------



## Aprilisthebest (Jul 21, 2011)

That was really helpful thank you! i expect my age will factor highly in this process although i may to actually go through with it for a few years i just want to know what im upagainst when i do  
speak soon xx


----------

