# Donated my eggs



## Harlequin81 (May 16, 2013)

I know egg donation isn't for everyone but I had started the process of egg donation for reduced ivf costs for myself, when my husband was told he was going to Afghan for 8 months at very short notice and as he needed sperm retrieval it would not have been possible for me to carry on myself.

After a lot of thought I decided I would carry on and donate all my eggs, all went well and I produced enough eggs for both of us, if the circumstance had been different but I wont dwell on that  I just realised I couldn't take someones dream away from them when it was so close.

I cant explain how I feel, but it isn't sad or down... Ive given someone the chance of life... a family... its an amazing feeling, I really hope it has worked for her and she gets a beautiful baby, I haven't called to find out if its worked or not yet but I will do.

Ive got my reduced cost treatment banked for future use at my clinic for when hubby gets home  But I have been considering trying IUI to get more treatment for my money, as everything went so well on my side of it during donating my eggs, my fertility is great, but I've got a while to think about it.

It might sound strange but I like thinking its worked for her... last night in bed I was laying there and she suddenly came into my mind and I went to sleep with a warm fuzzy feeling thinking of her laying in bed smiling because her dreams have come true.


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## holly27 (Sep 3, 2013)

Harlequin,

Sorry you couldnt get to do tx yourself, but your post made me smile - its an amazing gift you have given to the lady.

I know I wouldn't have probably heard of egg donation if I hadnt become involved in fertillity treatments. Knowing what I know now, it is something I would definitely do in the future - if I could and they wanted them that is!

So fingers crossed for you and her dreams coming true and thoughts for your hubby in Afghan.

Lots of luck and baby dust for the future.

Holly


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## Lil Elvis (Dec 31, 2009)

Harlequin,

That is amazing generosity you have shown! I'm lucky to be a Mummy to a gorgeous little girl thanks to a lady like you, so I know that your recipient will feel as grateful as I do. 

If there is any fairness in this world then you will also be blessed with the family you deserve so much. 

Thank you!

Caroline


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## icsi bitsy teeny weeny (Aug 18, 2011)

i couldnt agree with the folk before,that you truly are amazing,

i dont know exactly how you feel but i do regarding a recipient having your eggs and hoping that her dream has come true, best feeling ever ,

you r a true wee angel  best of luck for u and hubby in the future and you certaintly are one of the ones that deserves your own wee family...

lisa xxxx


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## Harlequin81 (May 16, 2013)

Aw thanks everyone 

I must admit there was a couple of times I felt a bit sorry for myself and thought why am I putting myself through this, when Im not having the chance of a baby myself but I had a chat with myself and reminded myself how I would feel if I were the lady having my eggs, so I just pushed on through.


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## Puglover1980 (Mar 7, 2013)

It doesn't sound strange at all. Throughout my cycle, after ET/the 2ww and post-positive HPT I thought about my recipient and wondered how she was doing. I always like to imagine that she'd had a positive too and it felt comforting to think that there was someone on this journey with me, even though I knew we would never meet. After my 20-week scan I decided to contact my clinic to ask about my recipient, and I was very sad to learn that she had in fact got pregnant but had sadly had a m/c. I was far more upset by this than I ever imagined I might have been when I embarked on egg sharing. It's a wonderful thing you've done and I really hope your own cycle (whenever you have it) is a success. I'm glad my recipient has at least one frostie from my donation. When she feels strong enough to use it, I really hope it works for her.


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## scribbles (Jun 23, 2013)

Harlequin - as another forces wife going through egg sharing IVF, I can feel your pain - the military and its infinite insanity and ability to ruin best laid plans never fails to surprise me! We are going through our first cycle now but DH will be going away during and at the end if it! We considered freezing some if his swimmers in case he had to go away at crucial points but we think we will just about manage on our timeframe! 

Hope DH is doing ok on Op Herrick and gets home on R&R soon!!


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## Tito (May 2, 2011)

Harlequin and Scribbles
Sorry to crash but as i work for the military just wanted to give you some advise. Ask your DH to ask his admin clerks to print 2009DIN01-104 this is a reference which protects military personnel and their spouses during IVF tx. It is a piece of reference which covers armed forces personnel or their spouses that are undergoing IVF tx so that they are not moved while  having tx is going on. It took me ages to find it but it has really helped me during my tx, each time they try to send me places while on tx i just pull it out. No one ever told me about it and i realised they will try and hide this document from you it is a good tool for your DH to have especially when you have appointments that you need him to be at.

Sorry about how you feel but try to be positive once you have that baby in your hand it will be all worth it

Cheers Tito


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## scribbles (Jun 23, 2013)

Awesome, thanks Tito!!


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## Harlequin81 (May 16, 2013)

Thanks scribbles and tito.

We had only just moved to this posting when he was told he was deploying, we moved at the start of summer leave and had travelled up to the clinic before we moved to start the process (I was bit eager to get it going, even if it did mean 6 hour round trip for appointments), they had been saying for months before he wasn't going anywhere because he has done so many tours already and he wasn't needed on this tour but then someone got injured so we got told on the Monday he was deploying, the Friday of that week he went field training, then he had courses he had to do, so it was non stop before he went, he didn't want to look like he was trying to get out of deploying so soon in his new job and promotion, plus gives us chance to save more money towards future treatment now as well so it isn't all bad, but I will deff get him to speak to his clerk about it, we should be quite lucky with being allowed time off now he is a WO2 they seem a bit more lenient with letting them have time off, his boss is a good bloke as well which helps a lot! 

He keeps saying how sorry he is that he had to go away, not his fault but I know he feels really bad about it.

I phoned the clinic and they confirmed she got a BFP so what a fab Christmas gift for her, most people give socks or smellys for Christmas, I gave someone life, its a really amazing feeling. I really do hope her pregnancy goes well for her


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## MissT (formally MissTurneriffic) (Mar 10, 2012)

Harlequin - You truly are a selfless amazing generous person. Just like a Christmas angel.

I hope 2014 is your year xxx


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## Harlequin81 (May 16, 2013)

Thank you MissTurneriffic 

Im just worried how I feel towards egg donation might change if it doesn't work for me now I know it has worked for her, I know that is a bit selfish as I am sure the lady who I donated to had been trying for a long time before going down the egg donation route so will have had a lot more ups and downs then I have, although counselling I didn't think my feelings would change, its probably just because I haven't even had my chance to try get and Im feeling a bit down that my husband has been away all over the holidays, I'm sure its just a blip and I'll feel ok in a day or two


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## Harlequin81 (May 16, 2013)

Just a little update, good and bad.

Good news for the lady who had my eggs, she has had a safe and successful twin pregnancy.

Bad news for me... just came on my period after my failed attempt, I stupidly lead myself to believe because it worked for her, that it would work for me, I know, I know! Maybe I just told myself that to make it easier, but I felt pregnant, well I thought I did, typical me Ive kept a brave face "ah not meant to be, hey ho" but inside jesus does it hurt, we cant afford another go, so that's me done.


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## RB76 (Jul 27, 2011)

I am sorry to hear that Harlequin, it seems very unfair.

Like many of the other posters I gave a wonderful lady like yourself to thank for our daughter.

Are you not eligible for any NHS treatment?


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## Harlequin81 (May 16, 2013)

No we aren't eligible for any treatment on NHS as my husband already has children from a previous relationship


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Harlequin - I'm so sorry you didn't get your BFP. I hope you will be able to try again and that you will get there in the end. Like several of the other girls, I have a wee boy thanks to egg share. We had been trying for more than 7 years, had 6 miscarriages and loads of different treatments. We had pretty much given up and donor eggs was our "at least we've done everything" last go. I can't tell you how grateful I am to women like you. To say it has changed our lives would be a huge understatement. He's nearly 4 now and I think of our donor often and hope desperately that she got a positive too. You did an incredible thing!
Silver xxx


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