# IUI Friends Part 23



## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

New home ladies, may it bring lots of good news.

Erica   

Good luck tomorrow Julie

Cx


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## CR (Nov 30, 2004)

erika, thinking of you so very much.  you will have us all here holding your and your df's hands.  we are loving you v much. xxxxx

julie, the bestest of bestest to you for tomorrow's scan.  really looking forward to hearing your goods news.  enjoy the concert tomorrow.  no throwing your underwear at the stage, a lady in your condition     i think i am in block n7.  have you thought about doing a duet with george ms kylie-look-alikey   

holly, thinking of you very much too.  hope everything is going just swell in hollyland.  and you are resting up.

love to everyone.  very special love to erika.
crxxx


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Good luck today Julie hope all goes well xxx


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Morning all 

I have had a text from Julie this morning and I thought I should update you all as I know she is very much in all our thoughts at the moment,her text reads........

_" Scan not good.Looks like it stopped growing.Got a scan next thurs at another hospital but not looking good.Sac is abnormal.Absolutely totally heart broken"_

Julie-I am so upset to hear your news this morning  I was so hoping that everything would be ok for you today.I cant imagine what you and Lee are going through right now,my thoughts as everybodys are with you.Sending you so much love.This is so unfair!!!

Sorry hunny         

I hope I have done the right thing passing your message on hunny.I figured as Erica normally posts your news that she is not in a state to post for you. 

Love

Kelly x


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## CR (Nov 30, 2004)

oh julie lovely, i am so so sorry to hear your news.  you are such a special lady.  my words will make no difference to how you are feeling, i wish i could do something to make it all right.  my love and thoughts are with you and lee.  if you are having a scan next thursday is there still some hope......i am hoping for you with so much might.
crxxxxxx


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## murtle (Feb 13, 2004)

Erica - thinking of you at this very difficult time.  

Julie - so sorry to hear your news. I hope you get better news on Thursday


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Julie

I'm so, so sorry to hear your news.  This is just so cruel and unfair.  I know no words can help at this time but thinking of you and Lee at this horrid time.

Love Rachel xx


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## *looby* (Jun 14, 2004)

Julie - I am lost for words  

xx


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

Julie 
I'm so sorry to hear your news and I'm lost for words.
 to you & Lee.


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Oh no this is not fair,Juliev you are so lovely you don't deserve all this,I hope next week brings happy news for you


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Oh Julie  how can this keep happening to such wonderful people    I;m so sorry honey, am here for you anytime xxxxxx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

I am trying so hard not to swear, but am so angry, this is just not fair and I don't know what to say, just hoping for better news Thursday Cx


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## moomin05 (Jul 13, 2005)

Julie

Sending you loads of     .  Thanks for the text this morning


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

Cannot believe this has happened. I hate the unfairness of life to people who so do not deserve it.  WHY oh WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't post anymore for now   but Julie and Lee - love you sooo much and wish you weren't going thru this.

         
H xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

So, so sorry Julie - like everyone says, there is no justice.  You & Lee deserve to be parents & it's just so cruel that this isn't working for you.      I just feel so angry & completely fed up - getting the BFP seems particularly mean.

I just wish someone had some answers for you.   

Please take care of yourselves.

Lots of love,
Jess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Julie, I can feel your pain, in every single word and so want to try and give you hope for the next scan, but know its not fair, I do hope for a miracle though, really I do, we all do ..... I find news of BFP's very, how can I put it, you are so excited for the person, but so scared that until the first scan, things may not have progressed, I just wish, you could get a positive and a scan all in one, I know its too early, but you know what I mean..... I can't even imagine your happiness for 2 weeks being destroyed like that and it brakes my heart that this month you and Erica will be going through the same thing, but I know you two will support each other and you both will get through this...... feel even writting this whats the point as it won't help you, have re-written about 6times,  can't really say I am lost for words as I have just written a load of blurbbb, but I am, feel us holding your hand on Thursday morning, all my love Tx


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Julie honey... i wish i could say something to heal your pain sweetheart.   It does seem these things happen 2 years on the run.. i've had 2 birthdays full of tears.. 2 xmas's thinking what might have been. I agree that it would be easier to deal with a bfn than the highs and lows you're dealing with a the moment honey. Please don't keep this news to yourselves. let your families help you through. I'm hoping with all my spirit that maybe thursday will bring some light... i'll be there too holding your hand... Both you and Erika are such special people it makes me so mad that you have to go through this. 
Loads of love K xx


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## CR (Nov 30, 2004)

oh julie, i feel your pain so much in your post.  i just wish i could do something to help.  cruel at anytime, but at christmas it just seems doubley cruel.  despite my little miracle, i still feel the raw pain of infertility so much, both for myself and every other special lady in the same boat.  i so much wish a miracle for you and lee, and for so very different news on thursday.
we are so not wrong when we describe the fertility journey as being on a roller coaster of emotions.  it dips so so low, but julie i know you probably don't want to hear it right now, but it will go so so high too, i just know it will.
take special care of you and lee.  we are all in this with you both.
crxxxxxx


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Julie 

I was in tears reading your post,you have been in my thoughts ssooo much lately and I cant help feel useless as I cant do anything to physically help if that sounds silly. I can totally understand why you feel a bfn may have been easier to deal with because then your hopes would not have been raised to have to be dropped back down again so unfairly.

I will hold out every single hope for you and Lee on Thursday hunny.I just wish I could give you a (real) big hug  . I hope you take some comfort in the lovely words of Starr and Candy,myself and the others.We all love you to bits   

Erica-your are very much in my thoughts hunny,I am hoping that you and your lovely DF are taking extra special care of each other at this awful time. big   sweetie!!!

Lots of love to all


Kelly x


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

Oh Julie, what can I say - been feeling down for you over these last few days - can't really imagine how awful it must be for you both ...  to have had all that excitement snatched away from you is just too cruel to contemplate.

I'm so glad you're going to tell Lee's parents ... it must be doubly tough on you not having your mum to support you at a time like this - you really do need all the support you can get.

Do you really have to go into work?

I hope they can give you some more answers on Thursday - will you get to see a cons?

I'm just so sorry for you both that it had to happen at Christmas again, it's all so unfair.

Please take care of yourselves - we're all here for you & just wish we could do something to take the pain away.    

Sending lots of love to you both     



Holly - really hoping you're ok, please let us know how you're getting on - thinking of you loads too!

Lots of love to everyone!
Jess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## shazia (May 24, 2005)

Julie      

Just devastating for you, cannot believe that this can happen again to another wonderful person, and at this time of year (although any other time would be crap too).

If you can sweetie I would stay away from work and deal with your grief together, you really needs lots of love and support at a time like this so am glad you have decided to tell family as pretending everything is alright is just going to be too much honey. 

Sending you all my love and support sweetheart

Shazia xxxxx


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## MollyW (May 5, 2004)

Dearest Julie....your post makes me so sad...  I was devastated when I got your news on Friday. Still can't believe this has happened to you and Lee...just too cruel for words.  I clearly remember how very hard it hit you last year and I can't believe that you are having to face another grim Christmas. Like Candy says, we're all praying for a miracle on Thursday for you, but we know at the same time the need to be realistic... 

Why don't you call in sick tomorrow, sweetie? I hate the thought of you having to pretend everything's normal - I know how hard that is... 

Times are so hard for both you and Erica in particular at the moment and I know your special friendship will help you both, but I SO wish things could be different...nobody deserves this pain, but you are both such exceptional ladies who mean such a lot to all of us on here that it cuts to the very core to see you hurting so much.

  to you both...

Loads of love
Molly
xx


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Julie - oh lovely girl I can hear your pain,you so don't deserve this,not again.
I haven't even told my dh your news yet,as I told him last week your good news and he was so excited for you,so hoping I don't have to.

You know we are here for you whenever you need us xxx


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

hello

i don't know what to write.  i feel at a complete loss.  am devastated that again this has happened and so quickly after erica's loss.  it's cruel, unfair and heartbreaking.  julie - your message was so brave and it breaks my heart to think of you and lee in this cold dark place again at this time of the year.  i want to send you words of hope and inspiration but things are just too bleak and they wouldn't sound right.  i'm holding on to that little ray of light that thursday could bring, but like molly says, i know it's important to be realistic too...   i hope you know how much we love you and can feel us with you.  please let me know if i can do anything at all for you angel 

jess - thank you hunny, i'm doing ok.  i'm a bit knocked sideways by both erica and julie's news but that's to be expected....  been thinking of you loads too with your horrible situation near to you taking front line news in NZ too.  i hope there will be a development v soon for people to get closure from it.

love to everyone
h xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Julie 

Your post is so brave but I feel so incredibly sad for both of you and can't believe you are having to go through this.  I, too, would be very tempted to call in sick tomorrow.

Take very good care of yourselves.   

Erica - You are still very much in my thoughts as well.  

Hi to all the other lovely girls and special         to Holly

Love rachel xxxx


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## petal b (Feb 4, 2005)

oh julie i am so so sorry and just cannot believe it  i am thinking of you both 
like you holly and every one else it makes me so mad that you have to got through this again.life is so cruel.
sending you both lots of love and thinking of you

lots of love petal b


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## Catwoman (Apr 19, 2005)

Julie, I'm absolutely gutted for you. I am hoping and praying that Thursday brings better news, but right now I am so   and   that you have to go through all this. Your post was heartbreaking and I wish with all my heart that there was something I could do. If there is, please, please, let me know.

Had a text from Erica     She hopes to be back online tomorrow, but in the meantime wanted me to tell you all how much she appreciates you all asking about her, and that she sends you all lots of love     

Holly, gorgeous girl - please, please let us know how you're getting on. I know it's tough talking about an ongoing IVF cycle when there has been such devastating news on this thread lately, but everyone is rooting for you         and desperately wants you to have that much-deserved BFP. Please let us know how it's all going - you too need support right now, honey    

Jilly -     Soz I haven't yet responded to your last text,   I'm not very good at texting!!! Thinking of you lots and will pm you during the week. Hope you're taking it easy and getting prepared for your IVF cycle    

Jess - lovely to see you     Really feel for you at the moment with those horrible murders in Suffolk - hope they catch the b*****d soon. 

Huge love and hugs to Molly, KJ, Starr, Candy, Struthie, Rachel, Kelly, Moomin, Shazia, Petal and any of the other lovely girls I've left out.

Not posting any news myself; seems totally inappropriate at the moment. But all is OK. Just wish things were better for Erica and Julie     

Sending everyone lots of love and hugs, and a bucketful of            across the miles to Holly.

Lots of love,
Claire xxxxx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

hi all
julie, like everyone else i am totally gutted for you..it is just too cruel for words..like you say to have it snatched away is almost worse than never having had it at all. i am feeling the smae way myself right now if you read below. i really hope you have decided to stay at home and  let yourself grieve rather than pushing yourself to go to work. you have been so very much in my thoughts..as you know i've been having my own traumas to deal with and havent been able to relay my support to you and for that i'm sorry, but i really have been thinking of you lots.  you too erika..  

i have been quiet for a couple of weeks cos we have been having a nightmare of our own here. Caleb bit me 2 saturdays ago..badly..it was over one of his damn rabbits over the fields..bad thing was he didnt growl first, just went in..usually i dont intervene but i was feeling confident as he'd had such a good week..and he did drop the rabbit as i approached. he sat and he nibbled some biccies from my fingers. but when i went to take his collar to lead him away he went for me. he got both hands and one was dripping blood. i had to go to hopsital to be steri-stripped up..it was all really badly bruised but its all healing up ok. but of course it has left us with a total dilemma.
reading this it might seem quite obvious that we wouldnt be able to keep him, esp in light of the adoption process. but because it was half my fault we kept thinking maybe if we got some expert help then we could modify his behaviour and kind of re-train him. we have been in utter agony over it. we got a behaviourist in to see him and she basically said that he wouldnt be able to be trusted around children. she said he is a lovely dog but that he has inbuilt behaviours that make him a risk, and he has now shown how far he will go to guard things..its nothing we've done, its just how he is.
i have just had a follow up conversation with her and she says he shouldnt be re-homed, so we have no alternative but to have him put to sleep. i have made an appt for 6.50 tonight    I'm in pieces, so is dh, poor thing is at work, we have sobbed all weekend knowing the crunch was coming today. we have agonised as to whether we could actually bear to leave him in a rescue home..it would have broken our hearts..i dont know which is a worse scenario.

in amongst the tears i'm angry too that yet again we have some trauma thrown at us, i feel we have had enough to last us a lifetime. i know he's just a dog but he's more than that to us, he was our baby we couldnt have..he was something to love and that would love us, a reason to get up in the morning, something to come home to, i just cant believe he's not going to be here anymore with his waggy tail and wet nose, or laying in front of the fire with his bone  i have cried like never before this weekend and this morning, huge wracking sobs that i cant stop,i think this worse then the BFN's..this time is something 'real' being taken away, not just our dreams. so julie and erika, i feel a bit of what you are feeling, i know its not the same but you know what i mean
sorry to throw more $hit onto this thread, i have been holding off posting till we knew what we were going to do....

love to everyone 

kj x


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Oh Kim,I can't believe it - I have pm'd you


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## Catwoman (Apr 19, 2005)

Oh God, Kim - I'm so, so sorry. You must be devastated. I firmly believe that pets are part of the family, and it's easy - and normal - to be every bit as heartbroken over their loss as you would be over a human loss. I'm absolutely gutted for you. It's so unfair, especially after all the hurdles you've been through this year. What a nightmare... oh, honey, I'm so, so upset for you


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## MollyW (May 5, 2004)

Kim      
Just SO sorry to read your news....I know you've been agonizing over the right decision all round, but as I said in my pm you've always done your best for Caleb. You've socialised him, trained him, taken him to classes, got him used to kids, always made sure he's had plenty of exercise and stimulation - and LOVED him. No dog could have had a better start. I am heartbroken that you and DH are having to go through this - we all know how precious Caleb is to you. All pets are special, but for those of us unable to have children even more so... You're in a no-win situation through no fault of your own and have been forced to make this decision as you know you just can't afford to take any chances.
I just want to come over and give you a huge  
Molly x


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Kim - thinking of you so much today,you too Julie lovely girl.

I will be so glad to see the back of this year,its been a terrible one.

Love and hugs to you all xxx


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## *looby* (Jun 14, 2004)

ITS NOT FAIR  ​
Right now I've got that bit over with i will try to say something constructive 

Julie - Nothing makes sense anymore   Why does such awful things happen to such lovely people - I could feel the hurt in your very honest post and whilst i will be hoping and hoping that Thursday brings good news i know you really have to be realistic and that hurts like hell - There is nothing i can say that will help but am thinking of you  

Erica - Hope you have found a small shred of closure   Looking forward to seeing you back with us

Holly - How are you ?? Keeping everything crossed 

KJ - I was sitting in tears reading your post - I am so so sorry you have had to make such a very hard and hurtful decision - Thinking of you tonight as always  

Molly, Starr & All - Love you all   such special friends 
Looby xxx


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

KJ - So sorry to hear what has happened 
Why do these things happen to such lovely people 
 to Erika & Julie


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

I echo Mollys words, feel us all there with you both tonight, you have made a very brave decision, the right decision and we are all behind you 100% Cx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

thank you everyone
love you guys   

kj x


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Kim - I'm so, so sorry.  I felt so devastated for you reading your post.  This is just not fair, when you have been through so much already.  Losing a pet really is horrible because they mean so much to us and really are part of the family.     

Why do such horrible things keep happening to such lovely people?  I don't understand.

   to everyone

Love Rachel xxx


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

i remember claire saying to me earlier in the year that sometimes it feels like we are all playing parts in a badly scripted soap opera... i'm now thinking that even a script writer would have a very hard time coming up with a succession of scenarios as devastating as the ones that have been posted here.

i wish there were answers.....

h xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## *looby* (Jun 14, 2004)

Wouldnt it be lovely to be able to rewrite the endings 

xxx


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

Looby - it really would


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Couldn't get on yesterday...Kim i'm so sorry not to have seen this awful news before now...

Yet again i'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face for another very special friend. It's so not fair honey... Like everyone said it's not your fault. Caleb had the best home ever... he was so loved and wanted and he must have known that. I know how much he means to you, what he represented and how devastated you and dh must be. love you loads babe xxxx

Julie... sending you loads of love too honey. xx

Erika hope to 'see' you soon, when you're ready xxxx

Love to everyone else... i too vote for a different writer... these endings are the pits  xxx
What a year eh xx


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Just wanted to add to Holly i'm thinking of you honey...This must be awful for you, while on the 2ww...  as our special friend says... eyes on the prize xxxxxx


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Hello all you lovlies

Cant quite believe all the bad things happening to such lovely,caring,amazing FF's lately.Its so unfair and I so wish I could do something about it but I cant  

Kj-Hunny I am so sorry that your having to go through this  I cant even begin to imagine how your feeling right now.You were both so brave to make that decision.I know it must feel so awful at the moment but I hope in time that pain eases and you can see it was the right thing to do.Thinking of you sssooo much sweetie    

Julie-been thinking of you loads sweetie,I am still holding that glimmer of hope for thursday for you,we all are   we will all be with you as always.love ya hun  

Erica-you are very much in all of our thoughts sweetie,hoping you and df are looking after each other.We are all here for you  

Lots of love

Kelly x


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Holly

Just wanted to say I am so hoping so much that you get your much deserved BFP at the end of this 2ww hunny,hope its your last.Boy would that be a fab xmas pressie  Loads of squidgy love and fairydust coming your way  

      
     
     
     
     
     ​


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Big wrap around hugs for all of you lovlies​


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## shazia (May 24, 2005)

an't believe what I have been reading on here recently    

KJ I am so upset by your news, what an horrendous thing to happen. As awful and as upsetting as it is you both know in your hearts it was the right decision to make, sending you a huge  

Julie, Holly  and Erika you're all in my thoughts lovelies


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

I'm all for a new script writer too..something along the lines of little britain to ensure some laughs 

julie-d'ya fancy curling up somewhere inside a bag with me over the next few weeks  i can feel your pain hunny, i know how hard it was for you to do this last round of tx and i so wish for you that you arent where you are now. after our last IUI i couldnt see a way forward either, it took a few months to move on to our decsison. we just got back to being 'us' and with the pressure off ttc off it was the best feeling. i hope you can get to that place too. you 2 need to plan in some fun, big time, get booking concerts and theatre, whatever floats your boat, start planning to live again  i know right now you dont feel like it but in a while you will start to feel the life in your bodies again.
I'm writing this as much for myself as you, cos i cant see a way foward much for ourselves just now..i feel the rug has been well and truly pulled from under us..it could be months or even years before we get our child and between now and then there doesnt seem any  reason to get up in the morning anymore. I so LOVED my early morning walks over the fields, it made me feel alive. i liked not being able to do things cos somebody needed me here..now nobody needs me  i wont go in to the details of last night but it was simply the worst thing i have ever ever had to do and i will never forget it. true to form he was scoffing a biscuit to the last   i hope he's having a great time chasing rabbits over the Rainbow Bridge 
i just wish i could stop crying, the tears just wont stop


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## moomin05 (Jul 13, 2005)

KJ and Julie - I so wish I could just get in the car and come and give you both a great big hug.  I just feel so sad at the moment with all the news that is on this thread.  And agree wish there could be a happier ending to the story.

Holly - Wishing you all the best for your 2ww, it must be hard with all this sad news, but remember 'eyes on the prize'

Big hello and hugs to everyone else, I don't feel like posting our news at the moment    

Take care and love you all

Moomin
xxxx


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## MollyW (May 5, 2004)

I wish with all my heart there was something I could do to take all this pain away....or something I could say to put some smiles back on our faces, but there just aren't any words....feeling SO helpless and miserable....I hate the injustice of it all.  

   to our special lovelies going through such hurt...

Love to all
Molly
x

...and Holly - love you too and sending         across the world, special one.


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Oh Kim,I don't know what to say,there will be bright days ahead there has to be  

Julie - you too honey,this is just all so unfair,thinking of both of you very much


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Julie my sweet, words fail me  

KJ, I know its really early days and no decisons can be made, but I wondered if you had something like the bluecross by you, we have one and a dog rescue place, where you can go and walk dogs, I know its not the same, but those dogs do need the attention from volunteers, our bluecross also likes people to just go and cuddle a pet .... if you let SS know that your situation has sadly changed, does that put you further up the list, are there some children/babies that they don't want to place in a home with pets.... ?

Holly hope that you can give us all some strength Cx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

thats a lovely thought candy and something i will definitely look into. I'll have to do something with myself, not least cos i've kept myself nice and trim walking all those miles a day, i dont want to let that slip  was thinking i might get a bike and then we can go for bike rides together..we need to find something new to do together now...
i feel just a teensy bit better today..i'm doing a days work for my old nanny job which will keep me busy. i managed to drag myself to a team meeting yesterday and it looks like I'll be getting quite a bit more work in jan with a new patient so thats a bit of good news. i forced myself to buy and put up a little tree yesterday too so we look a bit festive. i got up early and had croissants and tea with dh this morning cos yesterday he found it so lonely getting up and going downstairs to an empty kitchen  i found a lovely poem on the internet all about The Rainbow Bridge where all the pets live..sorry this will make you cry but i love this bit

*They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... *

thats all that i can think of, that one day i'll stroke his soft little ears again...

julie- thinking so much of you hunny    
and you Erika     - i hope you have had a day like i have today where i've woken up and felt like the world hasnt actually ended

and lastly dearest Holly..i'm so sorry..we should be on here cheering you on day after day, this must be horrible for you. am truly thinking of you loads, you know that, and hoping with all my heart that theres a very special little one(or two) lovely snuggling down inside you        

right must get on

laters all
and thank you all for all your lovely words, they have meant so much to me 

kj xxxxxxxx


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## Smurfs (Oct 19, 2004)

Julie

I have sent you an email.

Sharon


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Hello All

Kj... glad that there is a little bit of light for you honey... you've been so brave. Candys's idea is def worth thinking about.... Enjoy the bike rides with dh sweetie. Sending you loads of love.    ps the poem was lovely and yes it did make me  xx

Julie... aww honey.. Was so hoing for that glint of a chance for you...  Our bodies can be so cruel this bit is the time it all becomes real... I would take the tests, i know you say that's it for you, but you might as well be armed with all the facts. Sending you loads of love and     

Holly hoping all is well for you... we need some xmas cheer... (no pressure  !!)

Kel.. glad all is well with the twinnies... Does it all seem real now??

Molly, Candy, Looby, Sair, Rachel, Struthie, Shazia, Moomin and all the other lovelies..big hugs and     for you all too. 

All is well with me.. been really busy with xmas do's, work and shopping.. need a few days off... 2 more days then 5 off!!

Love S xx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Julie ((hugs))


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Hi there everyone

Just want to send lots of Christmas      to all the IUI Friends and particularly those who have had such a hard time recently

And of course lots of            to Holly.

Not sure how much I will be able to get on here for the next couple of weeks as I'll be away from home so just wanted to say Happy Chritmas and let's hope 2007 brings lots of positive things.

Love Rachel xxx


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## murtle (Feb 13, 2004)

Julie - I am so sorry. I was really hoping that it had all been a terrible mistake. My heart goes out to you and Lee at this very difficult time  

Kim - How awful for you  both. I know how much Caleb meant to you. It must have broken your heart to have to make that decision. My MIL lost her dog last week too and we have all wept buckets for him. Like Caleb, he was a much loved member of the family and will be very much missed by us all. The poem you quoted is lovely and I am going to look for it in full for my mil. Lots of love to you and DH this Christmas.

I would like to wish each and everyone of you a very merry Christmas and hope Santa brings you all lots of nice things. I hope all our dreams come true in 2007.

lots of love
Murtle
xxx


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## Sair (May 26, 2004)

Kim - I am just so so sorry to read your sad news.  You made such a brave decision... I hope things start to look brighter for you soon.   

Julie and Lee - You are so often in my thoughts honey.  It is just so unfair that this has happened...I hope with every passing day you both start to feel a bit stronger.  Much love to you both  

Holly - special   to you hun and sendng you loads of          for some fab news very soon.

Sorry I have not been around much though you are all in my thoughts..hopefully now work has finished I will have more time to keep in touch properly.

Loads of love to you all... 

Love Sarah xxx


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## ERIKA (Sep 2, 2004)

It's a very quick  &  from me.

Although I haven't posted in a while I have been thinking of you all & want to thank you from the bottom of my  for all of your lovely posts, pm's, wishes & mountains of love which have all been appreciated. I will be back in the New Year & will catch up properly with you all then. Me & DF are fine, coping very well & although last Thursday was the lowest of all days, Friday was the start of a new chapter. I'll "talk" to you all properly when I've got more time.

In the meantime I wanted to wish you all 
  A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS & AN EVEN HAPPIER NEW YEAR WHEN ALL OF YOUR HOPES & DREAMS COME TRUE  ​
Jilly -        as you begin tx next week & massive  &  for just being you.
Holly -                hunny I'm so excited for you & looking forward to receiving great news next week. Then you can pass that baton back, I'm not ready to give up yet  
KJ - I was totally gutted to read your post    I know how I felt when I lost my Lucy in September.
Julie - You know I'm there with you    

Lots of love,

Erica.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## moomin05 (Jul 13, 2005)

Just a quick post as meant to be packing whilst Megan is sleeping     to say

MERRY [size=20pt]CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR​

         ​
Hope to be back on line on 2nd January once I am home from my parents

Love to all

Moomin and Megan
xxx


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## CR (Nov 30, 2004)

hi all you festive ff'ers

julie, i am so sorry.  i am hoping that you manage to cope over the festive period.  i am so very sure that your special lee will be a mountain of strength for you.  and once your family know, them too.  cos a special lady must come from a special family.  i wish you some smiles for 2007 lovely i really do     

erika, ck6, kj, you too deserve special smiles for 2007 too.  you have been so very very strong, i hope 2007 is VERY kind to you all.

holly, i am really hoping for fabulous festive news from you.  you are being very quiet, but hopefully everything is going to plan and you are heading to the end of your 2ww in the bestest  way possible.  i am wishing that the christmas star is shining for you lovely.

catwoman, kelly, sair, moomin, candy, vil, murtle, starr, rachel b, struthie, molly w, shazia and anyone else i have forgotten, i wish you a fab festive time and 2007 too

harvey has at last shook off this viral thing, after sharing it with me and 2 lots of antibiotics, (he got re-infected, but this could be because the stupid pharmiscist didn't tell me to keep the first lot of antibiotics in the fridge and there were no clues to doing this on the bottle).  still harvey is now a slim version of the old harvey!  ummmmmm, wish i had lost the weight also with this virus, might be worth catching it again     
i am taking harvey to the christingle church service on christmas eve, his first christmas.  i am not really religious this talk of churches, but i feel that i should take him and give thanks for my having him.  i will struggle to keep it together i am sure.  best get the waterproof mascara out!!!

i didn't say that last month i went to the notre dame in paris and i lit a candle for everyone connected with fertility friends.  it didn't seem to bring much luck in the short term with all the recent heart ache, but i am hoping that it was a long distance burner and will still be shining bright in 2007 for everyone of us.  cos i think we all deserve it to!

i am wish you all a fab fab fab     
and hoping you get lots of presents in your christmas    

HAPPY CHRISTMAS
love
crxxxxxx


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## g (Aug 2, 2004)

Hi there,

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all.

Julie , I was so sorry to here your news. This happened to me 5 years ago. My heart goes out to you and your husband. Take care.

KJ I was sorry to hear about your dog. I know you doted on him and I have followed your story on the other site.

I hope 2007 bring everyone what we wish for,

Love,
G


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

Merry Christmas & a much Happier New Year to all the lovely FF ladies!

[size=10pt]Thanks for always making me smile (& cry!)

                   

Extra special     to Erica, Julie, Holly & KJ ... thinking of you loads.

And to everyone else on here, the wonderful Molly, Candy, Claire, Struthie, Shazia, Kelly, CK6, CR, G, Moomin, Sarah, Sair, Rachel, Starr & Murtle & anyone else I've not listed ... love you all!

[size=20pt]BIG MWAH MWAHs,
From Jess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

Merry Christmas one and all!!!

lets hope all our dreams come true in 2007
mwahs and big love to all            

kj x


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Just want to wish all of our friends, a very happy Christmas and that 2007 is best year yet, Kim hope your visitors arrive intime and that they are a great distraction setting you up for the best 2007.

Holly      - Molly hope things keep improving with you and that you are not working too hard.

Erica & Julie, couldn't be thinking of either of you more at this difficult time of year   

Murtle & Starr hoping that 2007 gets you both that overdue good news

Special love to Rachel, Sair, Jess, Cat, Struthie, Shazia, Moom, Kelly, Louby, CK6, CR, G, Jilly and anyone I have rudely missed.

Lots of love Candy x


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

Merry Christmas to you all.
Here's to 2007 - let's hope it will be good a year for all concerned.   
Love to you


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## Sair (May 26, 2004)

Just a quickie to wish all you special friends a very HAPPY CHRISTMAS.  Heres to a fabulous 2007... hoping all our dreams come true.

Special thoughts, love and hugs to Julie, Erica, kj and Holly...    

Catch up soon...

Lots of love

Sarah xxx


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Wishing you all a happy christmas and happy new year,lets hope all our dreams come true in 2007

Special positive thoughts for Holly xxx


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Happy Christmas to all my special friends......   

Here's hoping for a happy and healthy 2007.... This year has had lots of joy.....and also lots of sadness.... for all the things that should have been, those angels missing today.... we remember you. .

Sending everyone of you lots of love.... Holly... so hoping for a christmas miracle honey xxxxxxx

Have a good day all... don't eat (or drink!!) too much...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## MollyW (May 5, 2004)

Just wanted to wish you all a lovely Christmas & Happy New Year.  Thank you all for being there for me through the past few years, I am lucky to have "met" such truly special people. Your strength and support have been invaluable. 
Congratulations to all those whose dreams came true in 2006 and special  to those who came so close. I hope with all my heart for better things for you all in 2007. 

Also want to send           to Holly for testing. If there is any justice in this world all this Faith and Hope will have had the desired result...you know we've all been thinking of you lovely one, even if we haven't been able to post... 

Loads of love
Molly
x


----------



## Marsh (Jan 10, 2006)

Hello All, 

Hoping you are all enjoying your Christmas. 

My DH and I have had 2 unsuccessful ICSI and I think at this time I cannot go through ICSI injections and drugs etc again.  I will consider IUI however my clinic mentioned that ICSI is the only option for me.  I am prepared to pay for this so why would this be my only option  I think they meant if I didnt take a donor sperm.  

I am okay to get pregnant therefore I would consider a donor sperm.  However my DH and I are only at the start of conversations as whether he would be comfortable at this.  I have looked at internet sites and you can get sperm donor delivered to you at home with the DIY kits.  Why then can a clinic not do this for you?  Why do they say you still need all the drugs and injections?  The only problem I have is that I had to have a general for embroyo transfer as I have an S shaped insides! but I could still get pregnant naturally - just chance like everything else. 

I believe that IUI is the same percentage chance as ICSI and normal conception - is this true?

Can anyone give me any advice or information as to how I go about IUI by a well known clinic.  I dont feel a 100% convinced at purchasing sperm over the internet! 

Wishing you all the best at this time and for 2007.  I look forward to chatting to you all. 

Many Thanks, 
Marsh


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Just incase you meant to post this on the IUI girls thread, I have pasted it in fo ryou as well Marsh, good luck http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=78517.45


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Well let me be the first to post, to say that I hope despite verything that has been going on, each and everyone of you, managed to enjoy Christmas, 2007 is just round the corner, may it be different this year

Holly, really hoping for good news from you, hate all this not knowing  Cx


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Hello all...

Well that's another xmas done and dusted... All a bit sad as it looks like we so very nearly got there again... very faint bfp on day 26 followed by af on day 29...    Onwards again...

Managed to enjoy the festivities though.. ate loads and drank loads too. Father Xmas was very kind.. got lots of lovely pressies.. 

Hope he was good to you all too xx

Holly so hoping that your silence is good news honey xxxxxx

Love to all 

s xxxxxxx


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## CR (Nov 30, 2004)

Thought I would pop on (again!!) and see if any news from the very lovely Holly.  Hoping you are ok lovely and that absolutely everything is going your way. xxxx

Wishing all you lovelies a VERY VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR.  And hoping you have a FABULOUS 2007.

Loving you all
crxxxx

ps Julie hope docs appt goes well for you. xxx


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## *looby* (Jun 14, 2004)

Holly - Hoping no news is good news   

Love to all
xxxxxxx


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

Just a quick one to wish you all a very happy new year.
Love and best wishes to you all


----------



## shiningstar (Aug 2, 2005)

Happy New year hope all our dreams come true in 2007.

Love Katrina


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Happy New Year Everyone, thinking of you all especially Erica, Julie, Starr, KJ & Holly


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

happy new year one and all 

julie - hope you can manage new year hun, think you are being very brave, braver than i would be in your situation 

starr, sorry to hear you almost got there.. so near and yet so far 

2007 can only be better than the end of this one..far too much pain for far too many special ladies. lets hold hands and step forward in to the new year with new hopes and dreams and leave all the bad stuff behind us

mwahs to all

kj xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## *looby* (Jun 14, 2004)

Happy New year to you all

Here's hoping for a Happy and healthy 2007, and that everyone's dreams finally become reality 

Love to Starr, KJ, Murtle, Molly, Julie, Holly, Erica and Everyone 
Looby xxx


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

Hopped on hoping for news of Holly!

Come on, where are you?!  Really hoping you're out celebrating!

Love to everyone else - staying in tonight with my gorgeous DH - having a "love-in"!!

Hope we all get an amazing 2007 - you never know, maybe the tide will change!

Lots of love,
Jess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Happy new year everyone,we're being boring and staying in too,can't think of anything better though!

Holly hope you are ok not like you to be so quiet xxx


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

Big APOLS for not logging in earlier.  Thanks all for your messages and pms, txts etc.....  

Not sure why - but things are never straight forward...  We arrived home from Christmas with family on Thursday and did an HPT and low and behold the result was a BFP.  So we went and did a blood test too and got a call in on Friday afternoon telling us that the hgc result was very low and please do another on Saturday.... which we did.... but results won't be back in until Weds because of the New Year break etc... however AF then started on Saturday so we are pretty sure it's all over.  I did another HPT today and the line is very faint so this confirms to me that it looks like we had a very early miscarriage.

It probably sounds a bit mad but was convinced it had worked a week after ET and was feeling really confident.  Sore boobs, metallic taste, constantly watery mouth etc etc plus my accu was really excited and said she felt the full and slippery earth pulse and I also went to the kiniesiologist who also got good vibes.  Then on the Friday before Christmas day I felt something, nothing definite but just a change and I became less sure and anxious, so I'm certain that's when something happened and I guess the hgc result was low because it was on it's way back down.

Once again - to get so close and yet so far is utterly destroying.  Starr, Julie & Erica, feel so much for you all.

Enough - will post this and hope to God that this is the last negative post before 2006 turns to 2007 on your side of the world.  May 2007 bring only good stuff.

Love you all
H xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Holly - I am so sorry,why does it have to be so hard.
Lots of love and good wishes xxx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

So sorry to read your news Holly, made even worse by us lot keep going on about your news, as you say may 2007 only bring good news, love to all


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## Catwoman (Apr 19, 2005)

Holly - I'm so, so sorry. I was hoping with all my heart that your news would be good             Like Caroline, I've been popping on here daily, wishing and hoping that you had a BFP. Why is life so bloody cruel?
Sending you loads of love and positive thoughts across the miles - here's praying this year makes your dreams come true and that all the pain will be a distant memory (and that also goes for Erica, Julie, Starr and KJ       ). I love you guys so much. It makes me     that you've all had to put up with so much s*%t.
Loads of love to all,
Claire xxxx


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

So sorry to read your news Holly 
Looks like 2007 is going to be another horrible year - my darling Chinchilla passed away this morning  He was fine went we went out yesterday at 4pm but when we got back in this morning it was obvious that he wasn't very well, had a final cuddle & he went peacefully about 30 minutes later. Just so heartbroken at the moment


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

huge hugs holly 

bun bun sorry to hear about your chinchilla..i know how  hard it is when fur babies leave us 

hope everyone had good new years..we were at friends playing games and stuffing our faces till 2.30am  poor dh had to get up to catch a train to football at 8am..his decision to trek to ipswich for new years day footie  i laid in till 10, bliss 

kj x


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Oh Holly... i wondered if things hadn't been straightforward as you'd been so quiet. So sorry honey.... why oh why does this all have to be *SO* hard. Thinking of you both xxx  

Struthie... poor chinchilla. How awful to loose him so suddenly. xx

Hope you all had a great new year. We went to my bil/sil's house. All ok drank a bit too much though. Managed to keep the tears at bay which is unsual for me at New Year. Just to add to the gloom on here... i've had some more bad news. My mum had breast cancer 4 yrs ago, had a mastectomy and has been fine since. What i didn't know over xmas is that they called her back and did an ultrasound and took a biopsy last thurs folllowing a routine mammogram. Apparantely it could be innocent but we won't know till tommorow. She kept it to herself and my dad until yesterday when i worked out there was something wrong, and made her tell me. I'm not sure i can take much more. Please let it be nothing    

Sorry to be so maudley. Love to you all esp all the lovely ladies dealing with such awful stuff lately,   to Holly, KJ, Julie, Erika, Struthie and to Candy and Looby for always being there with the right words xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hoping for a good 2007 for us all xxx    xxx


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## shiningstar (Aug 2, 2005)

Holly so sorry to ready your news honey sending you and DH a masive  .

Bunbun sorry to hear about your chinchilla I have 2 and couldnt amagine life without them, sending you a big   too sweetie.

Havent been on much, waiting on word back from Hospital as I wrote to complain regarding my date they gave for me in August 2007 for my pre-assessment for IVF.  Just had me dinner, dont know how I managed to eat as not feeling well at all and it not a hangover wish it was.

2007 has got to be a better year, also my 2 sister-in-laws have told me they are both trying for a baby this year, really happy for them but just know if I dont get a BFP how bad this is all going to be for me and DH.

Sending you all my love, have thinking of you all  

Katrina


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## petal b (Feb 4, 2005)

hi everyone,just logged on to see if there was any news from holly,i am so so very sorry to read your news. 

love petal b


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## murtle (Feb 13, 2004)

Oh Holly, I am so sorry to hear your news. Why oh why do these things keep happening to such wonderful people. 

After all the dreadful news on here lately, I hope 2007 is going to be a better and happier year for us all.

Much love to Julie, Erica, Starr, KJ, Molly and the lovely Holly   &  

 to all the other lovely ladies I am so rudely not mentioning but so little time.....

luv'n'hugs
Murtle
xxx


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Hello my lovlies.

First of all I just want to say I hope you all had a nice xmas and new year.

Second of all,nothing to report from me,just waiting for our next scan,so I am going through the usual head messing thoughts    of thinking there might be something wrong with one of the babies(god it never ends) 

And most importantly personals....

Holly-I am so truly sorry to hear your news hunny.I was really hoping to log on to some good news  I am so sorry you got so far and then had it all taken away babes.Thinking of you loads.  

Starr- awww hun how cruel to get a bfp then nothing,cant imagine how your feeling right now but we are all here for you.Sending all the love and luck in the world for your mum at this time too,really hoping its good news.

Julie-I hope your ok sweetie and that you can shove last year to a dark place it deserves cos it didnt treat you well.Really hoping that over these next few weeks/months things will start to seem a little brighter for you sweetie. 

Bunbun-sorry to hear about your little fur baby hun   

Claire-wow you havent got long left now chuck,how are you feeling are they letting you go to into natural labour when the time comes ??

Kj-how are you petal?? yet another one of my ff's that had a sucky year at the end. I really hope this year your dreams of becoming parents gets to come true and that you can enjoy every minute of it.

Murtle-you ok hunny??

Moomin-hope you had a good xmas with your family! How did Meg enjoy her 1st christmas??

Katrina-I know its horid when other people esp family are planning to get pg,it stirs up so many emotions for you,heres hoping that you can join in yourself with a much deserved bfp this year.

Erica-hope your ok hun.Been thinking of you lots   hope to see you back to your normal self soon hunny,we are all here for you.

Struthie-hope you had a lovely xmas with dh,ds and your gorgeous doggies

Jess-hope you enjoyed your new years love in  

Big loves to all I have missed,hope we can all make the meet in feb,I am trying to save pennies as we speak  

Love to all

Kelly x


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

Starr - so hope you have had some good news between your post and mine.  Have everything crossed for you.  What a horrible thing to have to contemplate after all you've been thru 

Julie - thinking of you so much and hoping with everything that your days are getting brighter.  You've been incredibly brave and you've been such a lovely little light of comfort this past week.  Ever grateful  

KJ -  you too my lovely 

Erica - so hoping that you have little bits of you coming back to you as you face 2007.  You're courage and determination is amazing.  Such a little fighter I'm totally in awe 

Kelly - am sure you're little twinnies are perfect but can understand your worry.  Not long to go now sweety til your scan    

Candy - hope you're well hunny.  It's a new year now.... any developments?

Well - an update.........  am thoroughly   and climbing walls here.  As you know on Saturday I had to have another blood test to check the hcg levels but because of the New Year weekend etc results weren't back until today (Weds).  I had a phone call from the clinic this afternoon to say they've more than doubled so well done, it's looking good...........!  OMG - this has thrown me into a complete panic because this scenario fits the pattern of someone with an ectopic........  i have an increased chance because i've had one before........ and I've also had bleeding, not a small amount either ......  I have done another blood test this afternoon and while it was labelled urgent - the nurses finish early because it's still holidays here and sorry we won't get back to you until at the earliest the morning, but most likely it will be the afternoon!!!!!

So here we sit in limbo land .................  with all sorts of thoughts racing round our heads.  

Jodi - if you are reading here any help/advice would be welcomed......................


thoroughly confused and not to mention incredibly anxious
H xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## jodsterrun (Jan 3, 2005)

Hi Holly,
I was reading and feel every bit of panic that I am sure you are going through.

First, you know that bleeding in early pregnancy is not all that uncommon. I am very happy to hear that the HCG has doubled.  Remember that you had 2 put back, and you can miscarry one and keep the other.  That is not uncommon either.

Now, the concern about ectopic.  I know that it's a real concern, but the only sure way to find out is an ultrasound.  I am not 100% sure about ultrasound at this early stage, but vaginal (TMI) ultrasound may show an intra-uterine sac or empty uterus.  You would not expect a heartbeat this early.

My advice, speak to your gynaecologist soon.  Lay out your fears, especially that you had a ruptured ectopic, because that doesn't have to happen again.  As I said, I am no expert in this area, but do know that ultrasound is what they use to see if the uterus is empty.

Meanwhile, I am here with every bit of my body crossed in all kinds of ways.                      

By the way, I'm sorry everyone that this is such a medical kind of reply, but I think that's what Holly wants to know.

Good luck sweetie.
Jodi


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Holly this may feel like a cruel dejavu and god I so wish I could say something to stop your fears, worries and increase that hope, but with all the bad news recently, I can't get excited for you, as I know you can't ..... but we all want this for you, more than anything and with all our hopes and prayers, let this be your turn.

Feel us holding your hand tommorow until you get the call. Cx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

oh holly, how confusing and worrying for you..i hope with all my heart that this turns out well      

starr, so sorry to hear about your mum, really hope you have had some good news  

kj x


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

Oh Holly, hang on in there!

Like Jodi says some people do bleed v heavily in early pregnancy, my VBF had heavy bleeding all the way through her 2nd successful ivf (son is now a great big bruiser!!).

I guess the whole ectopic scenario must be rushing round in your mind but people do have ectopics & then go on to have successful pregnancies so don't right yourself off just yet.

I guess we all know it could go either way - we're all just clinging on for you to get the good news you deserve. 

Why is it always so hard?  I just wish some medical person would hurry up & let you know it's all going to be all right - got EVERYTHING crossed for you.

Lots of BIG love,
Jess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Me again

Holly- cant imagine how your feeling right now hunny.I so hope that you get the good news you deserve tomorrow sweetie,heres hoping the bleeding had no effect on your precious embies,keeping everything tightly crossed for you babe.

Starr-any news on you mum sweetie,been thinking of you loads.

Big loves to all

Kelly x


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## Catwoman (Apr 19, 2005)

Holly - what a turnaround! I am soooooooooooooooo hoping this one's a sticky one, sending you a ton of                                       . It must be incredibly hard - I can't imagine what you're feeling right now - but surely the doubling HCG levels must be good? It really does sound entirely possible that the bleeding you've had has been from one of the embies. Won't be able to sleep tonight thinking about you!  

Jess - lovely to see you online        How are you?

Big loves to everyone else, esp Erica (pm-ing you hunny), Julie, Starr (so sorry to hear about your mum - keeping everything crossed that she's OK) and KJ - I do think about you and your DH and wonder how you both are. What an awful thing to have happened  

Had bit of a scare over Xmas - a scan I had done during the second week of December worried the docs because twin B's blood supply along the umbilical cord was looking frighteningly suspect - something to do with the diastolic flow being absent (all I know is that the pulse thingy kept flatlining and it scared the living daylights out of me   ). Was referred to the foetal medicine unit, which was pretty scary (there was a room signposted 'counselling' next door - not exactly confidence-inspiring), but that scan was much better. The doc there felt pretty certain that on the original scan there had been a blip with the equipment rather than the baby, and that it probably wasn't helped by the fact that twin B had the cord wrapped around her legs, making it difficult to get an accurate reading. Anyway, I was told they'd monitor me closely and to come in for another scan the following week, which was last week, and everything was absolutely fine. Twin B's growth is normal, the blood flow is normal, and I can stop worrying. At least, that's the theory, but in practice it's difficult!

Soz to go on, but thought some of you would like to know.

Much love to everyone - here' shoping the start of 2007 brings much, much better luck for those who need it         

Claire xxx


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Oh Holly.... This is all so hard, the ups and downs all the maybes just make it all harder. I'm so hoping for good news but like Candy am scared for you too. Please let it all be ok    

No news on mum yet, will know 2morrow hopefully. Thanks so much for all the good wishes and thoughts xxxx

Claire that must have been scary for you.. glad all is ok with little twin B...Not long to go. xx

Kel i think it only normal to be anxious about everything... you'll be fab xx

Kj hows things with you honey?? Hope you and dh are ok xxxx

Love to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

Hello lovely friends

Jodi - thanks again so much for your message, you're a such a twinkle and I really appreciated it so much  

Claire - hunny how absolutely terrifying!!! So relieved to hear that all is well now but it must have been agony to go through that   Had a little giggle at your little slip up - so you're definitley having one girl then................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Starr - heaps of      for your Mum hunny!!

Thanks all for your messages  I hope you all know how special you all are to me and how much it helps to have you holding my hands...

Yesterday's blood test didn't double.......  it still went up.........  but only by half so not enough.  I have now developed a weird sensation in my left side (other side to last year) but this most probably is all in my head.  I think had the figures increased dramatically then the clinic would be worried that it was ectopic but they don't believe it is now and all I can do is wait and if sensations turn to pains then I have to call the clinic and go immediately to hospital.....  Meanwhile the next blood test and results will be on Monday and I have to keep taking progesterone......  they say there is still a small chance.... but I don't hold out much hope that this little embie is going to make it but there is always something that pushes you to hope........ 

Laters lovelies and once again - thanks so much


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## JED (Dec 16, 2004)

Oh Holly, what a roller coaster!!!!  I am sure that Monday seems an eternity away.  I am so hoping that your little one (or ones) hold on and will be thinking of you every day sending you    .  You so deserve this - and it sounds like you've got a little fighter there so I've got everything crossed for you!!!

Jx


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## jodsterrun (Jan 3, 2005)

Holly,
I agree with JED.

Everything crossed here too.                 

Jodi


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Not sure what to say again Holly, but will be thinking of you over the weekend and for the tests on Monday   

Starr fingers crossed for good news today

Kim, how are you feeling now the buzz of Christmas is over and its back to a unknown normality ?

Erica, hope you are ok, Julie too   

Cat, what a scare, glad that it turns out that it was most likely the machine causing the worry, do you know how long they will let you go, any bump piccies ?

LOve to all Cx


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Hi everyone

Holly - this is the first time I've logged on since before Christmas as I've been away and I've been reading back over all your posts  feeling the cycle of upset and hope you have been going through.  I'm so sorry things are looking slightly less hopeful again, but really hope that small chance becomes a very definite little baby.  Thinking of you at this hard time and sending loads of           and   

Starr - I hope your mum has good news today and that all is okay.  I'm really sorry to hear about your short-lived BFP too.  It's all far too cruel.

 to Candy, Julie, Erica, Jed, Catwoman, KJ, kelly, Murtle, Struthie, Petal, Bunbun and anyone I have missed

Love Rachel xxxx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

god the tension is unbearable..god knows how its feeling for you holly, why is nothing ever simple 

catwoman - lol at your slip up  sorry to hear what a worrying time you had but relieved everything is ok now - phew! thanks for your kind words..we're ok, lonely but ok. we had vistors for xmas which kept us busy but now dh is back to work it feels very odd..we are trying to walk in the evenings together and are thinking of having a go at squash as the leisure centre is only 10 mins walk and courts are quite cheap to hire. i do feel like i've taken huge steps backwards in terms of acceptance of whats happened in our lives..feel bitter about everything that we've been dealt, have regressed to finding preg bellies and babies hard, except now I'm jealous of people who have cute little dogs aswell  i feel like everythings so far away from our reach still  and I've yet to go to SS and pick up our family book which i have to re-do cos its full of pictures of Caleb  still, we have lots to be grateful for aswell so its not all bad..must focus on the good, these feelings will pass. think i just need to get back to work and keep myself busy

starr - hope its good news today  

rachel- any decisions re clinics/next cycle?

love to all

kj x


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Morning lovelies 

Thinking   for you Holly,I wish it could just be straight forward for you.

Starr - hope your Mum has good news today,it must be so worrying   

Kim - Thinking of you lots,you are so brave and strong,not sure I would be in your situation,its all so unfair,2007 has to be a better year for you.

Catwoman - glad all is ok with you

Julie -how are you sweet one?

Lots of love to you all,I know I don't post much but I do keep an eye on you all


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## Catwoman (Apr 19, 2005)

Oh, Holly - what a massive rollercoaster     Really hoping you can all feel us holding your hand and sending tons of         across the miles!
Erica - happy birthday, gorgeous one! Have pm'd you. Am back online again, as naughty ISP is behaving itself again   
Julie Hunny -     to your GP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I reckon it's the thrombophilia screen your con wants you to have done - it's to see whether your blood clots against an implanting embie. I had it done a year ago - it didn't show up anything in my case, but my con still prescribed me heparin (the treatment of choice if your results do show anything) and it worked for me... they might want to analyse your blood for NK cells, too. I really, really do think it's worth you having it done with your history...     to your docs for not suggesting it before! There's a thread under the 'starting out and diagnosis' section called 'immune issues' or something like that (I'm no good at posting threads... can anyone else help?) so have a look at that - it's really interesting reading, with lots of ladies experiencing unexplained failed attempts because of possible immune issues. The ARGC clinic in London are really into treating immune problems (and have an amazing success rate); I think the Lister treats it, too, as do the CARE group up north (could be wrong about this, though). Really hoping you find answers, and soon!        
KJ    my heart goes out to you. Hoping and praying 2007 brings you the family you so deserve    
Big loves to all the other girls - Jilly, Candy, Jess, Molly, kelly, Starr, Struthie and everyone else I've missed.

Hmmmm... know what you mean about the slip up!   But I'm still keeping schtum about the gender of the other one!

Take care all. You're in my thoughts.
Tons of love,
Claire xxx


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## ERIKA (Sep 2, 2004)

*HAPPY NEW YEAR GIRLFRIENDS MAY 2007 SEE ALL OF YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE*​Right I'm back  I've missed you all but am ready to give  to those in need &  to those that need them! It's been a very very hard time & work made my life particularly difficult but hey it's a closed chapter now & a new one has begun. Family & close friends helped us through & we are both grateful for that.

I have read every post since I last logged on & caught up with all of your news. I am not going to dwell on things as the past is just that the past, 2007 is a New Year & a new start for us all. I'm not going into any detail about my December but obviously would be more that happy to answer any questions about it all should any of you ever want or need to ask. The thread has had enough sad news but if I can help anyone in anyway just pm me. I'm not going to do many personals but will get up to speed soon I promise. I must also do a couple of pm's today/tomorrow but must quickly mention..................................

Holly -  for your incredibly tough rollercoaster ride, I'm with you every single step of the way & am sending you as many    as you can catch for that glimmer of hope to turn into the happiest reality. All "my little bits" are more than coming together sweetheart & I'm focused on my next challenge  
Julie -  it's one day at a time hun, small steps. I hope that with every new day you feel a little better & that the light at the end of the tunnel keeps getting brighter & brighter.
Catwoman -    you're a babe, thanks for your mail & I will reply as soon as I can. Phew, what a worry about twin B & thank God everything is fine  but I can appreciate what an awful time you had. Now you must relax & take it easy on your maternity leave, not long until you are going to be very, very busy  
Starr -        for good news for your mom, I'm thinking of you very much. Hopefully it will just be something minor that can be put right very easily & quickly. Take care of you too!
Jilly -    Poops!  I've missed taking the  out of you! It goes without saying how grateful I am to you for everything you've done over the last few months   but now I need to start  you a bit! Sending you so many       as you start ICSI later this month, can't wait to follow your journey.

All my  & very best wishes to Caroline (how are you doing  ), BunBun, KJ, Struthie, Candy (thanks for always thinking of me  ), Looby, Katrina, Petal, Murtle (good to see you back  ), Kelly, Jodi, Jess, JED, Rachel, Molly & anyone else I've rudely forgotten.

I plan on rejoining weight watchers & the gym next week, priority is getting rid of the stone I've put on & generally feeling better about myself. We have also agreed that we are going to do a FET in March, I just can't & won't give up  Don't have any real plans after that, DF goes back to Germany in April & off to Afganistan in October so we'll see what happens with our FET & then look at things again. Ding ding, round whatever, bring on the new challenge, I'm up for it!

Erica.xxxx    

PS - Julie/Catwoman - Thanks for birthday wishes, I'm having a lovely day.xx


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## MollyW (May 5, 2004)

Happy New Year everyone! I've been checking in with the laptop over Xmas for news (esp. from Holly of course) but the bluetooth thing packed up yesterday and I couldn't send it....  bleedin' technology! Anyway, I'm back in to work today so will quickly post what I typed yesterday and then some catch ups at the end....
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Hi everyone. Have to be quick as logging on with the mobile and it keeps disconnecting...in bed with fluey/cold thing at the mo but been checking in for Holly's news over Xmas....

Holly, darling - just can't believe this is happening to you. You must be beside yourselves....I am really worried for you, but praying that this one's a sticky fighter and in the right place...everything Jodi has said makes perfect sense and I hope you hear back from the hospital post haste. They need to be looking after you properly. Promise me that if you are AT ALL worried you take no chances and get yourself straight down there - holidays or no holidays! Sending you loads of +++++++ves lovely and lots of love! x

Starr - sweetie....you need a hug too. So sorry you came so close again and have all the worry over your Mum on top. I can empathise with you as my mum's had breast cancer too... really hope you all have good news tomorrow and this is nothing serious... x

Claire - so glad both twins are okay, but I'm really sad you had to endure the scare over Xmas....I'm sure the next few weeks will fly by and you'll have your two little ones safe and sound in your arms before you know it. x

Julie - thank you for your lovely texts. You truly are an inspiration.... Hope you're both doing okay....

Erica - you too, lovely. Been thinking of you often over Xmas and hope you're bearing up okay.... things will get better, you'll see. x

KJ - hope your Xmas was special with your friends....though I'm sure it was hard at times....I feel sure your own little family will be together next year...

Candy - special love to you and yours and thanks for everything. x

Jess - how are you doing lovely one? Hope things are okay. Not long till your holiday now....! x

Kelly - I know worrying is only natural, but I'm sure your two will be giving you double trouble before you know it! x

Moomin - I'm certain you all had a lovely family Xmas this year. x

Jilly - special ++++ves to you as you're about to jump on that rollercoaster.....I feel sure you'll have good news for us all soon. x

Bunbun - so sorry to read about your Chinchilla. Big hug for you...it is heartbreaking when you lose a pet. x

Struthie - hope you're doing well...I'm so impressed with your weightloss...blimmin' well done!

Murtle - hope your brother's doing okay and is getting better and better. x

Lily - how's things?

Rachel - special +++++ves to you too this year. I hope you've come to a final decision re. clinics and can get going again soon. x

Sair - how are you doing? You're awfully quiet....do the kids at school know yet?

Love to all other lovelies,
Got to go....
Molly
x
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Right, back to today....

Holly - I'm so relieved that ectopic's looking unlikely now, I can't tell you! What a dreadful worry for you  I so hope your little fighter's going to hang on in there and it's good news on Monday....           Thinking of you and sending positive vibes across the planet. 

Starr -         for good news from your mum. x

Erica - so lovely to have you back, you're an inspiration to everyone.         for the next round my lovely - oh, and Happy Birthday too!  How dare they give you a hard time at work!!! 

Well, Xmas was okay for us - better than I could ever have hoped (apart from going down with flu and being unable to do the planned visit to friends and family between Xmas & NY). I'm feeling more on top of things and more at peace than I've felt for ages...DP's been behaving himself and we're back on track together  thank God! I've finally made the decision not to have any more tx...so hard to face up to, but I just have to accept that we left it all too late...  I haven't seen the old  since August so things don't look too promising anyway!

So - New Year, New Start. Going to try and lose a stone (or more if I can manage it!  ) - do more exercise and start to enjoy ourselves again, instead of living life in that horrible limbo. Thanks to you all for your great support and friendship in 2006 and here's to a good 2007 for us all - and may it bring us all more than we've ever dreamed of. 

Loads of love to each and every one....
Molly


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Hi there

Back again!!  I think this may turn into a long post, so you have been warned!!!!!

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and New Year and that for those of you who have had a hard time recently it gave you some time to come to terms with things and see some light at the end of the tunnel.

Molly - It's lovely to hear from you.  I really admire your positivity in the face of such a hard decision to give up treatment.  Good to hear you and DH are back on track too.  If you have any top slimming tips let me know!!

Catwoman - Your scare with twin B sounds very scary, but I'm really pleased to hear that all is ok.  Enjoy the rest of your maternity leave before their arrival!!!

Holly - A million more          .  

Starr - Hope you are ok and that all is good with your MUm

Erica- Happy Birthday again!!  It's lovely to hear from you and to hear that you have a plan for FET.  You are a very brave and inspirational presence on these boards!

Julie - Another very brave and inspirational person!!  I know it's early days but I would tend to agree with Claire about testing for blood clotting/immune type issues.  Even if you decided not to pursue any more treatment it may at least give you some answers and therefore some closure.  My own experience with GPS is that they know nothing about such issues though an dit is a bit of an uphill (and potentially expensive) battle.

Kelly - Hope you and the twinnies are well.  

KJ - I can completely understand why not only babies, but dogs too are hard to see.  I hope that 2007 brings you everything you wish for.

Candy - Hope you, Jacob and Dh had a fab Christmas.

Bunbun - sorry about your chinchilla - it's so horrible losing a pet.  Hope you're okay.

Jilly - When do you start your ICSI cycle?  I need a cycle buddy!!


As for me - bit of an update.  We decided to go with the Lister hospital rather than the Wessex which is where we could have had NHS treatment.  Might seem a strange decision to opt for paying privately rather than have a free go but I really don't believe I will get pregnant without immune treatment and The Lister is one of only 3 or so places which can offer this in conjunction with IVF.  And I can't bear the heartbreak of going through an IVF cycle that I don't believe for one moment will work.  To cut a long story short I have now been told that my NK cell levels are sky high (41% - not good!!) and whilst they will repond to IVIG they don't respond to steroids.  Kind of wish someone had done this more advanced cytotoxicity test before I spent 6 months taking steroids but there you go!    So, I have been taking the pill and go for my first scan prior to downregging next Monday and should start stimming in a couple of weeks or so.  Feeling excited but apprehensive and can't help worrying about the cost (IVIG is mega expensive and I don't know how many IVIG "transfusions" I will need as yet).  Will keep you posted.......................

Lots o flove to everyone not mentioned and I truly hope 2007 brings you all good things.

lots of love Rachel xxx


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## Marsh (Jan 10, 2006)

Hi All, 

Firstly HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all.  

You may have seen my post got re-directed to your site asking for more information on IUI as I have failed in ICSI. 

Hi Misky – I noticed you mentioned you agreed with Lucy and hope I get a consultant to listen to me.  I cant find what Lucy said as I have not been able to log on for a while. Could you please advise me what I can and should do. 

Basically as I have to have a general for ICSI ET and I have an S Shaped insides I don’t feel I can go through ICSI again.  As I can conceive normally and have regular periods etc I would like more information on IUI and donor. I found on the internet you can have donor sperm delivered to your door which I didn’t really like the sound of due to you don’t know whether you will catch something etc. Not 100% happy with this obviously !

My consultant at Liverpool has already said my only option is ICSI however I feel I should be given the option of IUI.  Where do I go from here?  Do I go back to my GP??  What can I do??  What are my Options?? How safe is donor IUI

Hoping to join you all and maybe some of you can answer some of my questions I have rolling around each day in my head!

Thanks in advance,
Marsh


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Hi 

Had a horrid and scary day.  

To cut a long story short Michael went out for a bike ride while I was at my sisteres and I got a phone call to say he had been knocked off  so I shot round to where he was in the car with my sis and I was so scared and worrying the worst.(think I am still shaking) There were loads of people looking after him at the roadside,he was standing and talking. I then asked someone what had happened and he told me he had been hit,I asked by who/what and he pointed to a 40ft lorry further down the road.So I nearly collapsed at that.

To shorten it for you....... we are now home after an ambulance ride and an all dayer in hospital.Haed ct is fine,x rays all fine,he is very badly bruised and had concussion bit they were happy to send him home.

Doctor plainly said " If he was not wearing his helmet he would have been dead"

His helmet is in bits and I am so relieved I nagged him into buting one.

So I just needed to let off some stress/worry.Going to get his wounds clean now.

Holly-still hoping for good news hunny,sorry you have got to wait  

Starr-    thinking of you

Catwoman-thanks goodness all is ok   

Erica-lovely to see you back   

Starr-thinking of you too petal   

Julie-so glad you had a word with lee's parents,catch up soon sweetie.

Rach-dont blame you for going private,sounds like its the right thing for you to do,loads of luck sweetie

Love to all

Kelly x


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

kelly, poor dh, and poor you too..what  a nasty shock. look after eachother 

kj x


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

God Kelly so glad your dh is ok,you too xxx


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## moomin05 (Jul 13, 2005)

OMG Kelly, my heart stopped when I read your post, so glad to hear that Michael is ok, thank goodness he was wearing a cycle helmet.  Hope he feels less bruised soon.

Holly - we are all thinking of you and hoping for some better news on Monday.    

Julie - Hope you are ok hun,    to your Dr for not understanding what it is you want him to do - some of them have no idea at times.

Erica - Glad to see you back, and glad to hear that you have a plan, here's hoping that 2007 is going to be a better year for you

KJ - Sending you loads of hugs and again hoping this year will be better for you.  Understand exactly what you are saying about missing walks etc, we were like that when we had to have our labrador put down when I was still living at home, he bit a stranger that came to the door.  My parents didn't tell me till I got home from work.

Catwoman - glad to hear all is well with the second twin, what a scare that must have been for you.  Now waiting for you to slip up on the first one      

Sair - How are you doing Hun?  How are you feeling?  Are you coming to the meet in Feb?

Starr - Sorry to hear about your mum, is there any more news yet?

Rachel -Good luck for your next round of treatment, don't blame you for going private and giving it your best shot .  Both me and DH were not impressed with the Wessex at all but that is another story.

Candy - Hope you and the gorgeous Jacob are ok and had a good christmas

Molly - Glad to hear things are good again between you and your DP, admire you for making the decision to stop TX.  Hope you are enjoying the good things in life     

Big    to everyone else that I have rudely missed.

We are all fine, had a fab christmas and new year at my parents (we moved in for 10 days!!! - cheaper than staying at home!!!).  Megan was thoroughly spoilt.  She is such a happy little person, smiling and laughing lots (apart from last night when she would not settle at all, until well after midnight   ).

Can't believe I am over half way through my maternity leave and now starting to think about what I want to do about going back to work.  Have emailed my boss about going back part time, still waiting to hear back from him.

Looking forward to the meet next month, think it is only about 6 weeks away!!!  

Right better go and let DH ring his dad, (our computer makes the phone buzz if connected to internet - not sure why    )

Will try and catch up again soon ..... I do read daily what you are all up to but just don't get time to post.

Take care and love you all      

Moomin
xxxx


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Oh Kelly so happy Michael is ok... must have been so scary. Thank god he was wearing the helmet... my dh never does!!  .

Holly not sure what to say honey... do you know how high your levels are ?? Please promise though that you'll go to the hospital if you get ANY kind of pain !!  Still hoping for that miracle honey xxxx

Julie...been thinking of you sweetie... Glad you made it through xmas ok. I think people who haven't been through this i/f nightmare really have no idea how hard it is esp when lots of people know. I'm sure your in laws meant well. Love to you both xxx

Erika Happy Birthday !! Hope the day went ok. You've been so brave... how dare work give you grief!!  It's good to have a plan honey.. Fet in march sound like a good start... don't think beyond that. Love to you too. xxx

Molly.. aww honey i want to come and give you a big hug. You've made such a brave decision... i know how hard it must have been for you. Glad you and dh are getting along better. This i/f lark is such a strain on the strongest relationships. Look after each other. Loads of love xxxx

Rachel... sounds like you've made a good decison... i'm sure a big part of succesful cycles is to do with pos attitiude. If  the lister makes you feel good about it then go for it.... Good luck with down regging next week xxxx

Still no news from me  Mum spoke to the hospital today who apologised but they won't be able to give her any results until after the patient meeting on monday... and poss not till weds!!  It all vey worrying. spoke to my dad this afternoon who was in tears... he's so sure it's gonna be bad news. I'm not so sure... you really can't second guess anything. I'm trying to be positive and think that even if it is bad it's been found so early everything should be ok... I guess we'll just have to wait and see....
Thanks again so much for all the thoughts and love... it really helps.

Love to Kj, candy, Looby, Struthie, Moomin (where are you??), Jilly, Sair ( you too!) and all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Oh there you are    x


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## moomin05 (Jul 13, 2005)

I am still here!!!  Just don't seem to have much time to post these days


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## CR (Nov 30, 2004)

hi all

just a real quickie.

love to all you lovelies and kelly's dh!!  so glad he is ok.

holly lovely, i can't add much to what the other girls have said, except i bled quite heavily early in my preg with harvey, with both red and brown blood, sorry tmi.  but i had lost all hope and look at me now.  i think it was one of the other follies/embies failing, as i had the chance of a total of 7 (strange i know, but i won't go into the details now).  i don't want to raise your hopes, but miracles do happen, nature ain't alf strange.  so look after yourself and i will be crossing everything every single thing for you.
crxxxx


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## ERIKA (Sep 2, 2004)

Holly -                          I'm off to pm you now hun bun.
Molly - It's a slow process but I feel better every day   thank you. So pleased you had a good Xmas & that all is well with you & DP  Hope that you've got rid of that nasty flu now & a big  for making a huge tx decision, it really isn't easy. I'm with you with the diet & exercise regime so maybe we can cheer each other on. Hope 2007 brings you the happiness you deserve.
Rachel - Oooooh sounds good to me  I can see why you've made the choice that you have & think I would have done the same. Despite the money it's very important to feel  & have confidence in those treating you. Good luck for your scan on Monday & I hope you get the go ahead for d/r.
Moomin - Good to hear you had a great Xmas with your parents, there's nothing like being spoilt is there  Gorgeous new pic of Megan by the way isn't she coming on a treat   
Kelly - What a scare   hope Michael is feeling ok today, not to sore. Thank God he was wearing his helmet. 
Starr -        for your moms news, so sorry you've got to wait longer than you thought. It feels like forever when you are waiting for news like that. Big  to you & yours at this difficult stressful time. I think like you, you can't guess these things & must stay as   as you possible can under such pressure & whatever it is it has been detected very early so will hopefully be sorted very quickly.
CR -   hope all is well with you & that you had a great 1st Xmas with Harvey.
Julie -     thanks for the birthday thread, bet you can't wait for work Monday   what a shock to the system it is coming back!
Jilly - Just under 2 weeks to go        

 to all not mentioned, have a good weekend.

Erica.xxxxxxx


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

Oh Holly, poor you & DH - really hoping this time there's a v happy ending.    


Claire - what a horrid scare - so glad it was just dodgy hospital equipment - how v reassuring!!!!  Don't these people realise how special ivf babies are?!!!!


KJ - So sorry you're in a horrid place right now.    Hopefully things will pick up soon - know what you mean - at the bad points it does make life feel a bit pointless BUT we all go through these phases & then somehow or other, things pick up again.

I down loaded the "Everybody Hurts" REM video on to my new ipod - reminds me of you & Holly & I always fill up when I play it - bit daft downloading it really, can't listen to it in a public place!!!

Erica - blimey, you've done so well!   Really proud of you hun, cos bet it hurts like hell  but you're right - looking back isn't going to change anything.  Really hoping that 2007 is def your year!


Molly - glad you & DH are back on track - it's such a relief isn't it?  Sorry that you've finally had to face the decision to give up on ttc; hopefully it will help you to focus on each other & not just leave you worn out!
Sorry I've not texted you - got new phone (same no.) but hadn't saved all my nos to the SIM!  Please send me a little text then I can re-store you no.!  Doh! 


Kelly - Poor you!  Poor Michael too, of course, but I bet he didn't know that much about it!  Hit by a lorry & lived to tell the tale - boy, what a man!!  He'll be dragging that story out for years to come!!!!  Still, at least he's ok - bet your heart missed a few beats & in your condition too!  


Rachel - your decision sounds really sensible.  I strongly suspect that is my problem too.  Could you kindly PM me to let me know how you went about getting the NK cells tests done & a rough idea of the cost?

We're seriously running out of money now - going to see the cons at end of Jan & hopefully using our frosty if it survives the defrosting process.  Then it's off to Moscow for donor eggs but not sure if my NK cells are high if that's just chucking money away - we'll be up to £20k by then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                  

Still, if it works it will be money well spent!


Julie - how are you?  I hope you're feeling a tiny bit better each day - I guess it's a long journey to feeling "normal" again.  

I never really know exactly how I feel after a BFN - sort of numb & sometimes really angry & sometimes just sort of shocked that it didn't work when I'd tried SO hard to be positive.
I can imagine that with a m/c it's like this but a hundred times worse so hope you & Lee are coping.

Glad you had a good time at the old Kyle gig - she's a trooper!  Probably felt great to let your hair down.

Glad Lee's mum's being supportive - my MIL doesn't mention it to me she just asks my SIL!!! Drives my SIL mad - keeps telling her to speak to me but not in her nature to discuss personal stuff - talks more about gardening & what's on the telly!!  She just popped babies out - as DH & brother are twins, she had 3 under 18 months old!!  I think she thinks I'm just "defective"!!!!  

Anyway, better go cos DH has just come home & needs some TLC, his work is a bit crap at the moment so he's fed up - still, takes his mind off ivf!! 


Love to everyone else too!
Jess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Just realised how much I have to catch up on ................

Firstly love to all I don't mention personally, hope you are all ok and 2007 is the best year yet.

Holly praying for good news

Jilly thanks for asking after us, we are great thank you, I have literally shiffed this cold I have had for weeks and weeks and feel so much better without it  well done on stopping smoking and good luck for the 17th, not long x

Jess hope you don't have to think about moscow and your little frosty makes the thawing and is home for good  

Julie you are good asking after me, with what you and Lee are going through, I am glad Lees parents are being supportive, but with most parents they can't understand the emotional side, been thinking of you.

Erica 

Starr must be awful seeing your dad like that, glad you are staying positive and with all my heart hope for good news next week.

Marsh, not sure if you saw my post after the last thread, but I suggested joining the IUI girls who TTC the thread is http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=78517.105 I think you may have even got a response if you read back, where I pasted your thread in. I think that donor sperm, must be safe as strict guidelines and tests, although know very little about it, there is a donor forum elsewhere which may relay your concerns, will see if I can find it http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=64.0

Rachel, can understand you paying if you feel you will get a better service, fingers crossed as you have to feel confident  

KJ, hope you are feeling a bit better, its always hard after the busy Christmas period and what with what you have been through, did you tell the SS what happened, or just that you no longer have C ?

Molly, last but by no means least ............... firstly glad that DP seems to be back ontrack and that you had a good Christmas and new year, hope hes helping you at work again as you do take on allot, but I know you have to. Sorry to hear you had flu over Christmas, hop you are better now......I am so pleased to hear you feel at peace, they do say you know when the time is right to make such a difficult decision, thinking of you

Cx


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

hi friends

molly - great to hear that you are doing well despite the horrid cold over the xmas period.  you sound like you're really moving on and it must feel so good 

starr -  really hoping this week brings only good news re your mom.  it's horrible to have to wait......... your poor dad, it must bring so many memories back....        

jilly - hi loves, here's the baton hun   well done on the giving up smoking and the exercise!

erica - as always - you're inspiring.  love you loads and thanks for your pm hunny 

julie - hoping that today back at work won't be too hard going.  you're always in my thoughts and i owe you so much for all your support this past while  

hey kj - so sorry that you're feeling low hun.  it's been so unfair to have to face what you've been thru and makes no sense, you've put in so much work, there's gotta be a time when tings turn around.  love you sweetie 

jodi - i know you'll read here but i should really post on the other thread... great to hear that things are looking so positive!!!  you're doing so well and this change of protocol and the accu etc are all going to pay off       

jess - hey sweetheart, am wishing with my whole heart that your little frostie will be your lucky star and plans, b and c won't be needed      you do what's right for you and hey, yip it's only money.....  have you still got your trip to look forward to too?

kelly - felt terrible reading your post about dh.  soooooooooo relieved he was wearing  his helmet!!  hope you're looking after him and reminded to love him every day!!!  take care both of you!!

claire - got those feet up and resting darling?  not long now and it's a time for you to be truly self indulgent - don't know when you're gonna get the chance for much of that in the next while  

cr - thanks for your words hunny, i want to believe too............

rachel - sooooo good to hear you're moving on and have your plan too!  it's great that you feel confident about the clinic and i'm sure you will get the right care.  you're being proactive and don't let anyone talk you out of anything, eyes on that prize       

candy, moomin, struthie, petal and everyone, thank you all so much for your messages and thoughts........  the saga continues.......  had another blood test today and we're still going up but not enough for things to be ok........  i asked the nurse if anything good every comes out of these situations and her reply was "our concern is for you now... we are worried about ectopic and you must call us if you get any pain at all" ugh.  I thought that threat was over but apparently not.........  it must depend on which nurse you speak to    i do another blood test on weds - which makes it a 4ww but can't see that things will end in good news...... next week they will do a scan and decisions will be made. why oh why.............

soz all, wish it could have been better news, i know how much we all need it.

loads of love to all
h xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Holly how awful, can they not scan you early on to look at the overaries, it just doesn't seem fair that you have to wait to be in pain, thinking of you xxxxx


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

hey candy and jilly - thanks hunnies     unfortunately my levels are not high enough to show anything on a scan yet so they wouldn't be able to advise if it is ectopic or if it's not.  once hcg is at a high enough level then they will definitley scan me.  i really hope that we will get to a scan stage before anything goes wrong... i feel sure that there will be enough time to get a scan done before something goes wrong.

from the info i've found on the web it appears that with the levels we have and the way they are increasing, we have around a 2% chance of everything being ok... not great odds but i'm holding on..............

loves all
h xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

In that case Holly, i will join you in wishing that 2% is you xxx


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Just a quickie... supposed to be tidying the house    

Holly honey... really hoping for that 2% too. The waiting must be terrible.... It's so frustrating that you cannot just get a straight answer and get on with dealing with whatever it is.. You're being so strong, sending you both loads of love..

Will check back later 

xxxxx

ps 1 good thing.... my friend had her baby on thursday.. (10 and a half pounds and she's only 5 ft!!) For the 1st time ever.. no tears from me, just happy for her and excited to see the bubba (Luke) next week. Bit of a    !!!


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Afternnon all

Thanks all so much for the lovley messages after Michaels accident.Must admit I reckon we were both still pretty shook up over the weekend.I am just ssssooooo glad he was wearing his helmet.Even though he seems more worried about the fact his push bike is a write off   

Holly-hunny how awful to still not have an answer as such.I am deffo with the 2 % gang          and I am keeping everything crossed for weds results,the good thing is that your levels are rising,even though its maybe not a huge amount its a step in the right direction.Hoping and praying that you get no pains and that you get fab results on weds   

Starr-ahh bless ya!! Congats to your friend   wow thats a big baby    glad you seem to be dealing with it ok,I know its a very hard time,thinking of you sweetie.Any news on your mum yet  

Jilly-wow joining the rollercoaster so soon  loads of luck hunny bun

Molly-sorry I didnt reply sooner hun.just read your post properly.You should be very proud of yourself that you have come to a decision regarding tx,even though its not the outcome you have dreamed of for so long it sounds like the right one for you.Glad to hear you and dh are back on track too babe  

Big loves to all,I cant sit for long at the computer now.

Kelly x


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Table booked for meet at 6.45 hope thats ok, more time to gossip, if not already signed up be great to see you;

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=68760.new#new


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## moomin05 (Jul 13, 2005)

Holly - I, to, am with the 2% gang.  Keeping everything crossed for you.

Starr - Any news about your mum yet?

Candy -6.45 is fine for us.  Thanks for sorting it all out.  Looking forward to seeing everyone again and new faces to.     

Kelly - Not surprised you and Michael are still shaken up, think I would be to.     I have 2 bags of baby clothes for you, which I will bring up to the meet for you.  Will sort them out for you in the next couple of weeks.  

All is fine here, apart from the fact that my car has packed up and is going into the garage tomorrow to be looked at.  DH ended up doing kangaroo hops all the way to the garage, and driving at high revs in 2nd gear to stop it from stalling.  Had the RAC out at the weekend  and he thought he had cleared the problem, but obviously not.

I am suffering with a majorly painful back at the moment, not sure what I have done, but feel like a right old woman at the moment       It is around my coxycx area and feels like a trapped nerve as getting pain down my left leg to !!!  Oh well will see how it is tomorrow after a walk to baby clinic.

Big loves and hello to everyone.

Catch you all laters

Moomin
xxx


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Hey all...

Still no news     mum spoke to  the clinic today who said the results were still not in and she's got an appointment next weds (not 2 days!) to see the cons. She rang me really upset, so i saw red and rang the clinic myself. Got really upest too and started crying on the phone and telling them that it's not fair to keep people living in limbo. She was really apologetic and blamed the new year and xmas.  Ended up with her promising to chase the results in a couple of days and if they get them then they will call her.  I'm so mad thay they've treated her like this, Ig she'd been told in the beginning it would take 3 weeks then it would have been ok.. but all this waiting and waiting is gonna make her ill before she even know if there's anything actually wrong... I think i'll cal them myself again on weds...

Sorry rant over...

On the upside this meet is only a few weeks away and i'm soooooooo looking forward to it.... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Love to all xxxxxx


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## moomin05 (Jul 13, 2005)

Starr -     to your mum's clinic - don't they realise they are messing with people's lives and emotions - sending you and your mum lots of     .

Looking forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Starr -   from me too.  I can't believe they think it is ok to keep people waiting over something like this.  I really hope it is all sorted soon and that your Mum gets the all clear.      

Holly - I'm so sorry you are being kept in this horrible limboland.  I hope you are as okay as you can be.  Thinking of you and sending loads of      

Kelly - Michael's accident sounds so scary - you must have both been really shaken up.  I hope he is on the mend and that you can put it behind you.


I'm really looking forward to the meet too - it'll be great to see those of you I met last year again and to meet those I didn't see last time.  Thanks Candy for organising it.

I had my first scan today - seems that I am good to go (apart from a cyst which they don't seem too worried about).  Start sniffing tomorrow and then stimming next Tuesday.  I'm feeling really optimistic but quite calm at the momemnt - not sure how long that will last!!!!


Big   to all the other girls - it's a bit late to write out names cos I'm knackered and will forget most of them - so hello to anyone reading.

love Rachel xxx


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## ERIKA (Sep 2, 2004)

Julie – Hope you & your friends enjoyed your lovely chilli  Isn’t it just great being back at work  
Defective Jess  – Here’s hoping 2007 is our year, with a double result from FET      Donor eggs & a trip to Moscow will hopefully be nothing more than a backup plan. I know what you mean about money, it soon mounts up doesn’t it  I’m with Jilly, there’s a bit of a special birthday looming isn’t there? (Think we will have to investigate this one Nutbag).
Jilly –  just because I can or maybe from MM! Think you need a new ticker, you’ve only got half a page   One week tomorrow     can't wait. Have you heard from accu guy or is the poor sod still wading through your email  
Catwoman – Lots of love to you    hope you & twins are relaxing & taking life very easy. Not long to go now sweetheart, you must be soooooooo excited, we are! 
Candy – Hope your nasty cold has completely gone now you don't want to look like this  at the meet do you. Love to you & little man  
Holly -  You’re constantly in my thoughts precious  So sorry your rollercoaster continues & that you are being given mixed messages. Lots of good luck for tomorrows blood tests       & I hope you finally get your long awaited scan. 
Starr – Congrats on reaching your  hunny, those situations are never easy. Give Luke a lovely cuddle, cover yourself in  & steal a bit for your FF buddies. 10½lb OMG! I’m so sorry that your mom is being messed about so much  hospital staff really should give realistic timescales, situations like this are emotionally draining as it is & being messed around adds to the distress.      for the best possible news & SOON.
Moomin – Hope your back is better soon   I had to see a chiropractor last night to treat mine. Turns out to be a condition related to when I was in hospital before Xmas. I'm sore today but will feel better in a day or 2. Big loves to Megan  
Rachel – Wishing you lots of  as you start sniffing today & stimming next week. Hope you manage to stay calm & that you give us some very good news in February      
Molly – I took the first step & rejoined weight watchers last night what a porker   I turned out to be. It was worse that I imagined  so I’ve really had to kick my own very large  Hope you are ok, big loves as always   

 to all not mentioned, must go & finish the wages.

Erica.xxxxxxx


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## ERIKA (Sep 2, 2004)

Great Poops, party Thursday then   yes DJ is a little  
      
Or is she too  to celebrate?   

Loving your    I'll "chat" to you about it this week.

Nite nite.xx


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## petal b (Feb 4, 2005)

hi everyone

just thought i'd pop on to say hi

holly-thinking of you and have everything crossed for you 

julie-hope your alright and have been thinking of you too 

ck6-how are things with you

moomin-hope you feel better soon.hows your liitie one

kelly-sorry to read about michael hope he is feeling better.hope are things with you

starr-thinking of your mum its so bad that she is being treated this way

erika,candy,rachel, jilly  and to anyone else that i have missed

sorry i have not been around much but dont seem to be able to log on as much.but i have a day off today...lovely
with all that has been going on lately treatment fills me with dread (as if it doesnt anyway)
i have had a long time off treatment since last christmas(feel a song come on ha ha)

not looking forward to starting again.we were going to do egg sharing but could not do it in the end(pulled out before someone was matched to me) just could not do it .anyway going to start again soon but i keep putting it off  
hopefully i can start logging on more now, been really busy at work

speak to you all later

luv petal b


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

You cheeky little   Erica!!!

Was trying to keep it quiet (in fact absolutely silent!!!) but you've ruined my plan!!!!!

Yes, I am indeed 40 on Thursday!!!!!  Of course I only look 30! ( yeah, right!)

Everyone I work with seems to find it hilarious that I'm about to be 40 - another colleague was 40 on Sat but she's been treated with kindness & respect!!  Still, I suppose I do dish out a bit of cheek from time to time so I have to expect it back!

My shoulders are broad!!!

Anyway, enough birthday nonsense!


Julie & Erica - so lovely to have you back - missed your banter!  And of course, the lovely, lovely Jilly!  Hope the needles don't hurt too much!

Holly - we're all thinking of you - you certainly deserve to be in that 2%      I still can't believe you're in such an awful position again, please take great care of yourself (& DH).


Petal - lovely to hear from you again - know exactly what you mean!

Candy - did you make any decisions about going again for ivf?  Can't remember if you reached a decision!  Must be my very old memory!

Molly - thanks for Pm - one back to you!

KJ - thinking of you.  Hope you're on the way back up.

Love to everyone else,
mwah, mwah,
Jess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

hello lovelies

Jess - big  for Thursday and  too!!  You I'm sure will never look a day over 39!!!

Starr - so hoping that today you get good news for your mom     and also meant to say that you should be v proud of yourself and how good you were about your friends little one 

Petal - please don't let the recent run put you off your next steps.  it's just a blip and for most ladies things go smoothly and get their dream....  for some reason we are in the too hard basket, but it will change i swear it!!

Jilly - for starting next week    


thanks all for your messages and ongoing support and love.   Today has been a very trying day as the blood results didn’t come in until after 5pm as the labs processing computer broke down.  As you can imagine DH and I have been climbing the walls…….   I went in to the clinic this morning as I didn’t have any blood test forms left and I while there I asked to speak to the head nurse.  I told her that I was feeling an increased sensation of pressure while not sore something is definitely going on somewhere on my left hand side.  She decided to scan me then and there with the consultant.  He pressed my tummy, scanned etc etc and couldn’t see anything…..  and said that he didn’t think it was ectopic more likely that it’s a feeling from the corpus lutuem on my ovary and think it’s an early miscarriage,  but couldn’t yet rule it out and lets wait for the bloods.   So bloods eventually came in and low and behold they’ve risen again……. not enough, but there is an embryo growing somewhere.  When the nurse phoned me she told me that after we left she said to the consultant to be honest and tell her what he thought was going on because she was confused by what he had said to us and felt we were probably too.  He really believed that the bloods would have gone down today and our problems would be solved naturally………  however now they’ve gone up it’s looking increasingly likely that it is ectopic.  We’re stuck in limbo with another test on Friday and in the meantime if anything goes badly wrong then straight to hospital…..  she also said how sorry she was that we were going thru this and the unfairness etc…. 

the thing I hate to think about is having to end it’s life…….  all you go thru to get  pg and then to have to end it……….. it’s soul destroying…. I know how long it took me to get over the last one…. and in that situation the surgeon was 99% sure that because the fallopian tube had expelled the embryo onto my ovary it had already died….. 

why is life so cruel?

DH is being a love and says he just wants to hold me to take it all away….. I wish that would work.

h


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## jodsterrun (Jan 3, 2005)

Holly,

My heart bleeds for you and hopes for you all in one hit.  I so hope that this is just a slow rising HCG and definitely not an ectopic.  I can't imagine how you and DH must be climbing the walls waiting for the answer to this.

All I can do is send loads of                      , and hoping above all that all of this turns out OK.

Thanks so much for your thoughts, I'm just waiting now, another blood tomorrow, and looks like EC is Saturday.  Stop worrying about anyone else though, and take care of yourself and DH.

All my love
Jodi


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Holly sitting hear with tears rolling down,   dunno what to say     but am thinking of you both and wish I could join DH is hugging it all away, maybe if we all came over on the next plane ? i wish x


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Oh Holly I don't know what to say,its just so bloomin unfair.
Hug that dh of yours lots of lvoe from us all xxx


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Holly

I'm so so sorry you are having to go through this again.  It's not fair and especially not fair that it could happen again to you.

I'm thinking of you and DH and sending lots of   

Lots of love Rachel xx


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## petal b (Feb 4, 2005)

oh holly,i just dont know what to say.my heart goes out to you.thinking of you both  i just dont know what to say...why do these thing happen 

julie-god i know how you feel and i feel for you so much.  it is so hard when you get news like that.i am so sorry julie


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Oh Julie its like a huge kick in the teeth isn't it,I wish I could change things for you I really do xxx


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## Catwoman (Apr 19, 2005)

Just logged on to see how Holly was getting on... gutted for you, honey.             I can't believe that history is repeating itself in such a horrible, horrible way on this board at the moment. Julie -     my heart goes out to you, too. I remember this time two years ago, my office desk was surrounded by four pregnant bumps. One of which belonged to the second most insensitive woman in the world (second to your boss). It seemed like the sickest joke in the world. During all my IUI failures - and even while they knew I was miscarrying from my first IVF attempt - I'd have people conducting conversations about pregnancy and babies literally over my head. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with, and I wish with all  my heart that you weren't having to put up with the same s*%t. I can only hope and pray that your colleague shows considerably more sensitivity and grace than your boss did. I'm so, so sorry.   I hope so much that this year starts the big change around, and that all you lovelies who have suffered so much lately - Holly, Julie, Erica (will pm you later, sweetheart), Starr and KJ - get the happiest of endings that you all deserve so much. 
Kelly -   was so upset to read about DH's near-miss. It must have been horrible for the pair of you - it's everyone's worst nightmare. Look after each other.
Molly -      even though you are moving onwards and upwards, it must have been such a tough conclusion to come to. Yet you always take the time and trouble to think about other people. You really are such a strong and inspiring lady.
Starr -   You must be feeling awful. Being kept in limbo like this is miserable beyond words. Thinking of you, honey  
Jess - on a lighter note - have a lovely day tomorrow! I'll be thinking of you, and will stuff my face with cake in your honour!      
Big loves to everyone else - Jilly       for your upcoming cycle, Jodi, Candy, Rachel      , Struthie, Moomin and anyone I've missed.

All fine here. My lovely stripey cat has an ear infection, so I'll need to pick up some antibiotics for her later today. Not that it seems to bother her - she's spent the entire morning rolling around on her back, squeaking at me until I tickle her tum. She won't be so cute and fluffy tonight, though - oh, no. DH and I will end up wrestling with 13lbs of angry tabby, trying to ram a pill down her throat without her spitting it out again, or slicing us to pieces with her Edward-Scissorhandsesque claws... wish us luck!

Lots of love to all, and huge      to those that need it the most,
Claire xxxx


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Julie - I really feel for you - having to cope with your insensitive pregnant colleague so soon after your loss must be terrible.  Do you think she would be more sensitive if you had a quiet word with her and told her how difficult this is?

I truly hope things become a bit brighter for you soon    

Lots of love Rachel xx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

hi guys

julie, i'm so sorry you have this situation yet again, its not fair, esp as your feelings are still so very raw, shame she couldnt have kept it to herself for a bit longer 

holly love, life isnt being very fair on you either big big hugs 

i'm struggling to post at the moment, everything just seems so hard for everyone right now and its making me so sad that my lovely friends are going through such $hit. I start to post and then run out of steam..nothing i can say will make any difference to anything anyway. ugh, as julie would say

lots of love to everyone    

kj x


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## JED (Dec 16, 2004)

Just wanted to pop on to say I'm so sorry about what is happening Holly.  What a horrible emotionally draining process its been for you.  I don't know what else to say as I can only imagine how you and dh must be feeling.  Sending you lots and lots of heartfelt    

Also Julie you poor thing, life sure knows how to kick us when we're down doesn't it.  I know it seems like an impossibility at the moment but I really hope the sun starts shining for you again soon.  

Hi to everyone else.

Jx


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Morning all....

Oh Holly... you must be feeling so awful... Have they said that there's no chance it could develop normally ??  You really don't deserve this nightmare honey.. sending you both loads of love... really wish we could all do as Candy says and pop on a plane and give you a massive cuddle xxxxx

Julie oh god not again... Hopefully she'll take your feelings into account. (there's no way she can be a bad as the other one !!) So sorry sweetie that you're having to deal with all this at the moment xxxx

Kj i know how you feel about not know what to say... hope you and dh are coping ok honey xxxx

Jess happy birthday !!!!

Erika and Jilly so pleased to have the 'silly' gang back xxxx

Well i think my rant must have helped as Mum got a call yesterday to ask her to go in 2morrow at 10.55 to get the results. She did ask if they could give her an indication, but apparantley they will not get them till just before the appointment. 
I had terrible dreams last night about it all being bad news, Not sure how i'll cope if it is bad.... Will let you know tommorow night...

Love to all 
S xxx


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Good luck to your Mum tomorrow Starr,hoping for the best possible outcome   

Julie - hope you are ok sweetie,you don't deserve all of this,why do bad things happen to nice people   

Kim - how are you? Thinking of you very much   

Holly - Hope you are ok,your silence today is worrying 

Must dash my back fence has just blown down,oh god!


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## sweet kitty (May 15, 2005)

hi girls .. im a iui girlie now ... once again ...  so i will pop in and chat  and make more friends .. some of you prob know me  anyway .. 
lots of love and luck 
kitty x


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

Julie - so sorry that you're going through this again. You really don't deserve it. 
Holly - sending you & your dh loads of love at this time.
Starr - all the best for your mum for tomorrow.
Jess -  
Nothing to report at this end apart from I've had enough with sw & ss, less than 2 weeks to go before panel and they say they've found a problem.  I can't say much at the moment but have a meeting booked with sw next Thursday, the earliest they could/would see us.


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## ERIKA (Sep 2, 2004)

Holly
Thinking of you & DH at this very sad & difficult time. Sending you all the love    &  I can muster. So very sorry that you are both having to go through all of this uncertainty, yes life is very cruel & always to the poeple who don't deserve it. Take care both & I hope tomorrow brings you the answers you are looking for    

Erica.xxx


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## ERIKA (Sep 2, 2004)

Jess -       Keep the big 40  are you having a giraffe! So you look 30, blimey mate, got cataracts already   
Petal - Hope you enjoyed your day off  & that you feel  about tx again soon.
Julie - Thanks for your pm   I'll reply this afternoon/tomorrow morning. 
Jilly - Blimey how much do you want that poor acu guy to sort out  Do you think he could anything for your head  if so I'll pay for your session!!! Did you enjoy your mud wrestling yesterday  
Catwoman - Are you covered in bits of fluff   Hope kitty hasn't got a bald patch & that you managed to give the tablets without too much bother. Thanks for your pm too, I'll be catching up with you in a bit, hope you've got plenty of time on your hands  
Starr - Who are you calling silly  Ahhhh I see it was meant for Jilly  Sending you lots of love &       for your moms news tomorrow, will be thinking of you both.
Kitty - Hello  & welcome.
BunBun - Sorry about your news  & so close to going to panel you must be so annoyed. Here's hoping that whatever it is can be sorted quickly     wishing you lots of good luck for next Thu.
KJ -  hope you're ok hun, well doing as well as you can. I was unable to post for a while recently too so understand how you feel. It is difficult to post when special friends are going through so much hurt but you know what, together & knowing that we have each others love & support  will help us all through those dark times. Here's to better & brighter days for all of us 
Jodi -       for ec Saturday sweetheart.

 to JED, Rachel, Struthie, Candy, Moomin, Molly  & all not mentioned hope you are all ok.

Erica.xxx


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Hi there

Just sending big       onthis yucky January day to all who need them.

Starr -       for your Mum for tomorrow.

Holly - I hope you and DH are as okay as you can be.

I'm now on day 3 of dowregging/sniffing - haven't turned into a complete menopausal cow quite yet but am sure that will come.  I did burst into tears for no reason at the GPs yesterday though - he just ignored me and went on to tell me immune treatment was a waste of money.  

 to Erica, Jess, jilly, Molly, Candy, julie, Moomin, Kelly, Catwoman, Struthie, Bunbun, JED, Jodie, kitty and everyone else

Rachel xxxxxx


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## sweet kitty (May 15, 2005)

thanks erika ..
hi to you too  rachel .. xx 
good luck


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

Starr - hoping so much that today's appointment will reveal only good news   

Sweet Kitty - good luck for your next steps 

Rachel - so pleased all so far so good and don't worry about the tears, it's overwhelming sometimes and maybe it's because you feel good now you've made the steps to be getting on the roller coaster again and it was a good place to let them out. Shame on your DR tho for being so throughly hopeless with lack of care at supporting you 

Erica - it's lovely to hear you chirpy. You're incredibly reselient 

Julie - so wish you didn't have your colleagues pg to contend with so soon..... I know the days are dark, and I've said it before, we all adore you and will always be here for you to get you through this 

KJ - as always big  for you and all you feel at the moment. You're so giving that I know how much you feel the down times, I know we'll get thru this somehow....

Struthie - I'm here and am ok.... just didn't have anything to say yesterday hun. Big  for your concern.

BunBun - so hoping that your setback won't be a setback at all and SW will find a way thru for you and all will be ok. Awful for you to have this worry at this late stage. Some    to hopefully help!!!

Claire - hope super mog sissorclaws is ok and she's well on the rd to recovery now!! Hope too that you and the little loves are all doing beautifully 

Candy - loved your suggestion of flying over.... pleassssssseeeee can you  I know that would make me smile 

Jess - hope you've got a very sore head today 

Petal, Jodi, Jed, Molly, Misky, Liz, Moomin, Kelly, Charlie, CR, Caroline and all the other hunnies sending us hope - a very big THANK YOU

Got today's bloods in and they've fallen, although by not much (50). The nurse says we are not out of the woods yet and there's still a high risk of needing medical intervention.... I knew yesterday that something had changed. I woke up feeling like my body was 'quiet'. I didn't have the sensation I had been getting where it felt like a large pressure causing my blood vessel to pulse. I've been v strong and hardly cried but after she hung up, I sobbed. All the emotions are going to come now and it feels like my body is winding down after being on alert or something.... I have so many mixed emotions... like it's a relief that probably I won't have to face surgery again... but I did still have that little bit of hope too that something good would happen.... and the utter loss of having come so far with so little.... and if i will ever have the energy to do it all again.......

So there we are, more bloods on Tuesday....

xx's
h


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## *looby* (Jun 14, 2004)

Oh Holly 

I think you have been incredibly strong   
Nothing i can think to say sounds right 

So Instead will send lots of love &  to you 

xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

I'm so sorry Holly,I don't know what else to say,just hope you don't have to have any surgery,lots of love to you and your DH


----------



## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

holly hun, you needed that cry..and some more.....this pressure has built and built and you've done so well keeping strong. i cant decide whether to say that the levels going down is good news or bad..none of it seems good... but perhaps the fact that this episode seems to be ending itself and might not need intervention is a just a tiny bit of good news in amongst the pain of it all  like you say mixed emotions

big hugs sweetheart  and a million mwahs    

kj x


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## moomin05 (Jul 13, 2005)

Holly - Sending you loads of love and hugs - and thinking of you lots.  Cry/sob as much as you need to, you have been on one big emotional rollercoaster the last couple of weeks.

Love you lots

Moomin
xxx


----------



## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Holly 

I feel so sad to read your news .............I know, like you, we were all hoping that there would be a little miracle.  You know that we are all thinking of you and sending massive       

Lots of love Rachel xx


----------



## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Holly (((hugs)))


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## ERIKA (Sep 2, 2004)

Holly
Thinking of you at this very  time, so very very sorry that you had to go & continue to go through so much. You are obviously feeling a thousand emotions precious so cry as much as you want to, it's not a bad thing. Life has been incredibly cruel.

I don't know what to say & know I can't ease your hurt so I will just send masses of     &     to you & DH & know that together you will find the strength to get through this awful time.

Take care both.

Erica.xxxx


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## CR (Nov 30, 2004)

ooooooooo Holly.  I feel for you and DH so.
BIG love and hugs to you and DH.  You have been so strong.  Let it all out lovely.
You cry and hold DH as much as you need to.
Take good care.  I am so wishing you happier times.
crxxxx


----------



## jodsterrun (Jan 3, 2005)

Holly,

                                   

Sending you all the care in the world sweetie.
Love Jodi


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Holly honey i'm so sorry that your little bit of hope has gone. Cry all you want you've been so brave..... I realy hope that your body has managed by itself and that surgery is not needed. 

Sending you both loads of love and (((hugs))) across the thousands of miles xxxxxxx
 


Thanks to you all for the good wished for my mum.... Unfortunately there's more tears to come as it was confirmed today that she has invasive cancer in her remaining breast. This means a mastectomy and removal of the lymph nodes. Hopefully they will show clear, if not she is facing chemo and the chance it has spread further. 
The consultant is very positive, the lump is small (the size of a pea) and has only grown in the last 18 months so hopefully it's confined and the op will rid us of it. 

My mum is being incredible, as always and so strong. Dad is finding much harder and seems on the verge of tears always. I just can't believe we're having to deal with all this after last years nightmares. She goes in for the op on 1st feb so 3 weeks to go, then 3 weeks for the results. Please let them be clear............

Thanks to you all for always being here for me..... xxxxxxxxx


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## MollyW (May 5, 2004)

Oh Starr...  I am so sorry your mum's had this news. What a worry for you all - and on top of everything else too. Just so unfair.  Try to take heart from the consultant's reaction - they never want to raise false hopes, so I'm sure there's an excellent chance all will be clear after the op. Thank God she found it so early. Thinking of you all... 

Holly - darling. I'm really upset for you.  Such a hard thing for you to face again - rising levels a real danger and falling levels just devastating.  I'm really just lost for words....I can feel your pain, but there's nothing I can say that will make it go away...   Thinking of you soooo much....why do dreadful things happen to such wonderful people? It makes no sense.... 

Julie -   to you too and big   to everyone else....
Love Molly
x


----------



## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Starr, Molly has said everything I am thinking


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## petal b (Feb 4, 2005)

starr-so sorry to read the news about your mum.thinking of you all

holly-god i am so so sorry,i am really upset for you also,i just cannot understand why these things happen and as molly says, why does it happen and keep happenng to such nice people.thinking of you loads

lvu petal b


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Oh Starr,I am so so sorry honey,lots of love to you and your family - your mum sounds amazing


----------



## misky (Jan 30, 2006)

Holly - sending you and DH lots of love and strength. Cry all you need sweetheart - you have been so strong and so together through this. I wish I could help in taking away the pain but am here any time you need for what ever you need. 

Starr - So sorry to read your news. Your mum sounds like an incredible lady and I hope that you all find the strength to get through this. Thoughts for your family. 

Take care
M x


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## sweet kitty (May 15, 2005)

thanks girls .. not long now ..

im so  excited ...the ball is rolling again .. thank god


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Only me !!!

I have to agree with you Julie!! Too much bad stuff for all you lovlies at the mo and its really upsetting  

Julie-How awful for yet another colleague to announce their good news,I really hope that she does not take the same route as your boss and rub your face in it.I am sure she will see how much it effects you and takes it into consideration. Your bound to be low lately too hunny,you have been through so much and its gonna take time to move on.Thinking of you as always sweetie   

Holly-I am so very sorry those levels didnt keep rising,but on the other hand I am hoping you dont have to go through what you did last time. we are all here for you brave girly.keep us posted-love ya loads   

Starr-I am so sorry your mums results were not good sweetie.Michaels mum is recovered from breast cancer now and it all seems like a distant memory that it happened,she had full mastectomy and luckily it worked.I so hope that the op goes well and they catch the nasty thing,big loves to you and your family.

No news from me ,just quiet emotional lately so I have not been posting much cos my life pales into insignificance compared to all the probs you lovlies are having,I truly am lucky to be where I am now but I cant help but feel guilty sometimes cos the one thing in the world I want you all to have and you are all struggling so much.Just wish I could wave my magic wand and sory everything out for each and every one of you.   

Kelly x


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Hey all...

Kel... please don't feel you shouldn't be happy... you've has your fair share of sh!t too honey. I can only speak for me, but i'm really happy for you and all good news is very welcome at the mo!!
Mum too has been through this before.. she had a full mastectomy 4 yrs ago and was an absolute trooper through it all. She's been ( and is again) amazing and if pos attitude    will beat this, then it's given up and gone home already. Lets hope that's enough. xxx

Julie... my heart breaks for you sweetheart... please let us help you if you need it. Sending you loads of love xxxxxxxxx

To all you other lovely ladies, thanks again for all the love and support pouring through the screen to me, Once again you're there to hold my hand and walk this dark path with me.

Love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Starr - Just wanted to say I am so sorry it wasn't better news for your Mum.  She sounds an amazing lady though.  Thinking of you and sending lots of     and   to you, your Mum and your family

Julie - Sorry life is so hard right now.  I really hope things seem brighter soon.

Kelly - You definitely shouldn't be feeling guilty.  I love reading the positive stories of all the girls on here who have achieved the elusive BFP - you've been through exactly the same as everyone else and totally deserve it.

Holly -  

Just a quickie, but will be back tomorrow............

Love Rachelxxxx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

starr..so sorry there was not better news for your mum..she sounds very strong, and its sounds like its been caught good and early. sending lots of hugs and kisses your way    

kj x


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

Hi loves 

Nothing new to report from me but to say you're all lovely and thanks so much for all your love and support.  It helps so much and it makes me feel v loved....

Starr - hunny I too am so sorry to read your Mum's news   I hope with everything that she's going to come out of this as well as last time.  She has so much courage and I know with your support anything is possible.  Take good care, it's a tough and trying time.


h


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## petal b (Feb 4, 2005)

hi

holly-hope you are alright  

juile-please come back on,you dont bring us down with how you are feeling,thats what we are all here for,for the bad times and the good 

sorry for no more personals have to go to work

luv petal b


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Julie - we are here for you


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

for Starr and your mum. Glad to hear that she is being positive. Some more       for her.
Holly - hope you are ok
Julie - we are all here for you.
Kelly - don't feel guilty, no one would ever wish that on you. Be happy and enjoy yourself. 
 to struthie, petal b, kj, rachel b, jillypops, erika, moomin, molly, jess, candy and anyone else that I've missed. Hope you are all well.
   to you all.


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

Oh Starr, really feeling for you & your family.  

It must be so awful having already been through this once, but your mum does sound like a real fighter.  My mum is waiting for the results from her mammogram, I'm fairly certain she'll be ok but she's so worried (she doesn't have any family history of breast cancer which I'm taking as a good sign).

Holly, I've Pmd you but find it so hard to post without howling my eyes out & writing a load of waffle, but of course I am thinking of you LOADS.

Julie - hope you're ok.  Most colleagues try to be sympathetic but as soon as they see you trying to cope again they seem to think all the bad stuff is forgotten.  One of the blokes I teach with's wife is expecting twins & one of the other women asks for a daily update & tries to involve me - she's v "churchy" & I think she thinks she's helping!  It just makes me feel a complete failure & then I feel angry for not being able to be happy for them.

I'm sure people will understand if you have an outburst from time to time or just can't face speaking to them.

You will get back to being your old self again but please be don't be so hard on yourself - this is bound to really have a huge impact on you - a m/c is awful enough without having IF to deal with too.  Hope Lee's ok, I'm sure you'll be looking after each other.

Take care hun, we all love you loads!

KJ  - How are you?  My mum had made up a photo album of things throughout my life for my 40th birthday & there was the most adorable picture of my dog Ben when he was a puppy (he was a black lab/springer cross) - we got him when I was 17, he was the runt of the litter & wasn't expected to live, he could fit in the palm of my hand when we first had him... I cried when I saw it again.  I really hope you're managing without Caleb but I'm sure you'll never forget how special he was.

Erica - How are you?  When does DF have to go away?  Hopefully not for quite a while yet.

Jilly - How are you?  When are you hoping to start your next lot of treatment?

Struthie - Great weight loss, you skinny bird!!!!

Well, I've waited ages for my next appt with the cons (she's Italian & I can't understand a word she says although DH understands her perfectly!  I just smile & say "yes" whenever she says anything to me!!)

This is our follow up to our last failed icsi & we're supposed to have it within 3 months of the treatment otherwise you have to pay for it (£150!) - finally managed to sort one for 22nd Jan only to discover I'm on a course with work that day!

So now going on Tues 23 Jan.

I had got all excited about doing donor eggs in Moscow cos it's "only" about £3500 & no waiting list for blond/blue eyed match but checked out flights/hotels & that will be nearly £2000 more!!!  Absolutely gutted - daren't tell DH, still it's our v last hope.

Anyway, must go, got more sodding planning to do for work!!

Lots of love to everyone,
Jess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Morning all

Well I am knackered,trying to sort bloomin decorating out which is my least favourite pass time.I just want to get cleaned up and sit on my harris. Anyway its the 20 week scan on fri so thats something to pull me through cos I really wanna know that the babaies are ok and if poss we would love to know what flavours they are  

Cant wait to see all you lovlies at the meet soon,its been ages since the last one,I think I am cancelling my room though cos I cant afford it at the mo but will stay as late as poss and then drive a tipsy Michael home  

Julie- well done brave girlie!!! It must have took alot of effort to talk to your pg colleague and you should be proud of yourself.I am sure she will try to be more carefull now.And I really hope that helps you hunny cos your the most important person at the end of the day        

Kj-how are you hun,any contact with the adoption people lately

Candy-was meaning to ask you what you had decided about starting tx  Tel me off if I am nosey.

Rachael and Jilly- GO GIRLIES GO !!!!!! hope the drugs are treating you both well,keep us posted !!!!!!!

Erica- how the devil are you hunny??

Molly-hows the weight loss going? hope your ok sweetie??!!

Moomin-thanks sssooo much for sorting those baby clothes for us,you a star,did you enjoy your birthday??

Jess- hope your review goes well. Wish I was at the right stage so I coule give you some of my eggs hunny.If only it were that simple eh??!!

Struthie-how are you chick?? Is ds getting on ok at school??

Starr-still thinking of you loads hunny.

Holly-how are things ?? have you got another appoinment for any more hcg tests I really hope your ok,keep us posted    thinking of you loads


Ok got to go for something to eat

Kelly x


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Hi everyone

Kelly - What is a "Harris"?!!!   Is it anything to do with Rolf?!  Lots of     for the scan - bet you can't wait to find out if they are girls or boys.  Are you allowed to tell us?!

Julie - Hope you are ok and that your colleague will be more sensitive from now on.

Jilly -       for starting soon

Jess - Hope you're recovering from your 40th celebrations!  Can understand the dilemma re costs of going to Moscow.  Did you think anymore about Immune testing?

Holly - Thinking of you and really hope you are coping okay  

Erica - How is the healthy living/exercise regime going? 

Starr - Thinking o fyou and your family - hope you are all coping okay.

Bunbun - I hope everything is going well with your adoption and with going to panel - I think you said there had been some difficulties, so I really hope things are progressing okay.

KJ -  Hope you're okay.  You've been very quiet.............I hope 2007 will bring you closer to having your family.

Molly -    i hope all is good with you.

Moomin - How are things?  Hope Megan is going from strength to strength.  

Catwoman and Sair  - hope all is well with you and your twinnies


As for me - I start stimming today - hurray!!!!!!!!!!!  I can't believe how excited I am about sticking a big needle in my stomach this evening.  I guess I have been really lucky so far to avoid any downregging side effects - I feel really positive and happy in fact!

Did anyone else watch Panorama last night?  Typical one sided BBC Tabloid journalism.........................but despite the fact I already knew Prof Regan and the Cambridge woman's views on NK cells and IVIG I still lay awake all night worrying about what I am doing to myself!!  I gave myself a talking to this morning though and am feeling ok about it again.


Love to all 

Rachel xxxx


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## ERIKA (Sep 2, 2004)

Starr
I'm so very sorry   to read your news & can't begin to imagine how you all must be feeling. I can only send my love, best wishes & prayers to you & yours      & am sure that together you will find the strength to get through this terrible time.

Your mom sounds a truly amazing lady & I hope February brings her the best news          & as soon as possible. Let's hope this ordeal is over very quickly for you all. Like Molly said, the cons sounds really positive & with the lump being small & confined these just have to be steps in the right direction don't they    

Take care lovely girl,

Erica.xxx


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## ERIKA (Sep 2, 2004)

Rachel -     you've just made me giggle out loud at work!! I now have images on Kelly sitting on Rolfs didgeridoo      You've obviously sat on your "Harris" today & didn't even realise it!! Great news about starting stims & finding d/r easy peasy lemon squeezy  You have every reason to be happy & positive lovely.
Kelly -   for your scan on Friday I'm sure everything will be fine. Are you going to share your news if you find out   
BunBun - Did your sw problem get sorted? I hope so & that you are still on track for your panel date      
Sweet Kitty -   for your appt tomorrow.
Holly - Masses of     &     as always. 
Jess - You ok  ? So turning 40 was far more fun than you imagined, I shall look forward to it. Hope all goes well on the 23rd     is that appt to arrange your FET? DF goes back to Germany 4th/5th April by the way   
Julie - Going to catch up with you now. Lots of     for having to deal with yet another colleague being pg but lots of    for saying & I quote "I will never be pregnant" NEVER say NEVER young lady!!!

Big   to everyone else, must dash.......................

Erica.xxxx


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## moomin05 (Jul 13, 2005)

Kelly - Can't believe how quick your 20 week scan has come round - hope you are going to let us know the flavours to       Will sort out the bags of clothes for you.  Most of them are white, although I think there are some pink and some blue - honestly can't remember as I never used them, (my friend must never know    ) as my mum bought Megan lots of new things.  There are also 3 shawls in there to.  Whatever you don't want/use then please feel free to get rid of as my friend nor I want them back.

Julie - How are you Hun?  Really feel for you at the moment, and like Erica says never say never.    , you know we all love you and hope you come out of your horrible dark world soon.  Looking forward to giving you a massive hug next month at the meet.     

Rachel - Good luck with stimming, have got everything crossed for you and this cycle, glad you are ok now after the programme last night.    

Holly - thinking of you lots at the moment, and hope things get sorted for you soon.  Love you lots to    

Erica - Glad to hear that things are looking brighter for you.  

Starr - I am so sorry to hear the news about your mum       Sending loads of love and      your way

KJ - How are things with you?  Hope you are ok     

Molly - Hope you are ok and not working too hard    ?  How's the diet going?    

Jess - How much for treatment in Moscow?  Can't believe how much the flights and accommodation are, perhaps you could pitch a tent somewhere instead      Wishing you all the best for your appointment on 23rd, let us know how you get on.

Jilly - Not long now until your start your tx, wishing you all the best and sending some    your way

Candy - Looking forward to seeing you next month.  How are you and the gorgeous Jacob?   

Catwoman and Sair - how are you both and those little twinnies?    ;

BunBun - did you manage to get your problem sorted, hope you are on track to going to panel still    

Struthie - How are you?    

Blimey that has used up all my brain power !!!     

All is good here, Megan is doing well and when I had her weighed last week she was 15lb, they also did her length as they were concerned she was too heavy for her age, however her height and weight are in proportion, so no worries there, she is just going to be a tall girl - not like her mum!!!!

Can't wait to see those of you who are going to the meet next month, mine and DH first night out together since we have had Megan, hope she behaves herself for Granny and Grandpa      Had better make sure my mobile is well charged for the evening    

Right better go and make up Megan's bottle then think about going to bath her and getting her ready for bed.

Catch up with you all again soon

Moomin
xxxx


----------



## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

Erica - well done lovely skinny bird - hope you enjoyed eating 4lbs worth of chips!    I am feeling about 140 today & have been off work with a sore throat since the weekend - just couldn't face all those kids when feeling like death.
Still had to crawl out of bed & send full plans in for the supply teacher!!

Anyway, back to work tomorrow! Yippee!

Rachel - I didn't watch the programme as I no longer think that anyone knows anything about fertility - it is just a strange form of magic that works for some lucky bu$$ers who say the right spells!!!  
  
The rest of us just part with mortgage size amounts of money & get no where - no science involved what so ever is my belief!!  

Thanks for all your stuff on immune issues - I'm so torn cos I def think there's something "not quite right" & I am half wondering if DH has some dodgy genetics cos I have been preg many years ago with previous partner.

Even with all this icsi & iuis I've not had a BFP even for 5 mins!  Having said that, don't want to shell out anymore money cos we're right down to our last scrapings!

Anyway, enough ramblings from moi - Julie - well done for speaking out to your colleague, just not worth biting your tongue anymore!  Look what happened when you did that last time!!  This one can't possibly be as awful (unless of course there's something funny in the water!)

I'd better go cos DH is home & I've got to look really ill!!!!  

Love to all,
Jess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## nickjoanneowen (Apr 27, 2005)

Hi all,

I hope you dont mind me joining you on here, i usually post on IUI babies & Bumps but its a bit quiet over there at the moment, thought I would come and join you here.

How is everyone, i have been trying to read through all the posts but now im all in a muddle, hopefully i will get to know everyone soon.

Jo
x


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

Hey all

Thanks again so much for your words and love that wings it's way to us over here - it's priceless.  A big  to all of you.

Jilly - have replied on the other thread but here's some more     for that roller coaster ride!!!  

Moomin - so soz I missed your b'day!  Hope it was a cracker and Megan and DH spoiled you.  She sounds like she's doing beautifully and so grown up already  

Kel - don't fret hunny, we are all so happy for you and your twin bumps, it's always wonderful when a FFer gets 'lucky'.  Hope your scan reassures you that all is well in there, am sure it is    

Jess - did have a giggle too at your summary on fertility tx - and agree too 100% that no one really knows anything..... oh except ridiculous and over the top too clever things like how to make 60+ woman concieve and carry a pgncy.... outrageous!  Hope you're feeling less poorly tomoz  

Erica - did I miss something... your weight loss?  You go girl!!! Wooohhooooo!

Rachel - replied to you on the other thread but want to say again that you need to do what you believe in your heart is the right thing to do.  It's important!!!  Yipppeee for stimms!!!  and     for next steps hunny!!

Candy - thinking of you and feeling really bad that I've been a crap mod for the last six weeks or so.... must pm you  

BunBun - have you managed to work something out so that you can keep your panel date?  I really hope so    

Julie - as always a zillion   to you.  Think you've done the right thing being honest with your colleague and only hope she respects you and keeps it    Am off to pm you shortly....

KJ - and to you  

Molly - always thinking of you.  Hoping that you're doing well with the first steps of your new journey 

Starr - thinking of you so much too and your family.  I hope too that it's early and it's all going to be straight fwd      I've been thinking too back to when DH and my mum had cancer and have come to the conclusion that in lots of ways it's harder on the support crew than the person going thru it.  They know they have to fight and fight it they will so this gives them a focus.... but there's so much worry for everyone else....?  Hope I've worded that the way I intended it....  Big  to you.

Claire 

Had my bloods done again yesterday and unbelievably HCG had risen back to the level it was before it went down    This means we are still in a high risk category but the nurse feels sure it's because I was still taking progesterone support (have now stopped).  My progesterone level had decreased however and I feel sure that the little poppet did give up last Thursday as the 'pain' I had on my left subsided.  I need another blood test on Friday to check how things are.  It's not fun all this limbo land stuff....  it's hard to move on.

 to all you lovely girls.  Your support has been treasured these past weeks,
H xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  

Big apols to those I've missed......


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

Thank you all for your thoughts but unfortunately things aren't going well, sw cancelled our meeting for this week and has met with her manager and they have decided that they will let us know on Monday if it is worth proceeding. Just feel like everything has been snathched away again and spent last night in tears, so I feel shattered this morning. 
Sorry no personals from me today but as always I'll be thinking of you all.
It might be awhile before I post again as I need to get my head around what is going on but I will try to read your posts and keep up to date with what is happening.
 to you all.


----------



## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Holly, this rollercoaster seems to be never ending, if only there could be a happy stop, really feel for you and all this limbo, its so unfair, please don't ever worry about moderating, these guys are as good as gold.

Bunbun, would they have let you get this far, if they didn't think was possible ? as I see your panel is this month, will keep everything crossed, remember Kim's been through this, so do post and let us support you

/waves to Nick

Cat, hope you are ok x

Julie, glad you said your bit, hope she shuts up now !!

Moom, looking forward to seeing you guys to, i am sure she will be an angel for grandma and granddad, thanks for asking after us, we are grand thank you  

Thinking of you and your family starr

Big loves to Erica, Jilly, Kim, Molly, Kelly, Murtle, Jess, Rachel, Struthie and all missed.

Cx


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Morning Lovelies....

Bun Bun so hope that all will be ok with you, got it all crossed xxx

Holly oh honey... why oh why does everything have to be so hard.... please look after yourself. xxx

This is just a quickie... got loads to do today.... Thanks again for all your thoughts for Mum... she seems fine at the mo.. i think she's trying to forget till the op.
So looking forward to seeing everyone..

Love Me xx


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Hi everyone

Where have you all gone............  ?

Hope you're all okay on this horrid windy day.  I've decided it is just too yuck to go out again(and far too many trees in the road!!) so am going to get cosy here instead.  A good excuse not to go to the gym as well!

Starr - good to hear your Mum is coping okay at the moment.  You're right 10am was a bit early for lunch........even for someone who loves food as much as me........... but I was meeting friends an hour away (that's my excuse anyway!!) 

Big   and   to everyone else

love Rachel xx


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Evening all

Well my sis and bil took me the pics today cos they wanted me to have a rest cos I totally over did it yesterday,did far too much decorating wih mil yesterday and I am paying for it today.

anyway we went to see that new film with Will Smith " pesuit of happiness" based on a true story,it was an excellent film and mde me blub good and proper at the end but for all the right reasons.

Getting nervous about the scan in the morning,still cant believe I am pg if that sounds mad,will pop on tomorrow tea time to let you all know how it went 

Jilly & Rachel- thinking of you to loads at the mo with you both having tx,here hoping for some lovley bfp's very soon.

Bunbun-sorry it all seems abit bleak at the mo with the adoption process,please try to stay positive hun,remember kj went through ssooo much grief but look where that got her!! really hoping for good news for you.

Jo-welcome to the thread hun,did you have another scan the other day??

right,sory this is brief,got to go get Oli to bed

Kelly (ps think pink for us,atleast one girl anyway)


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Kelly -             for tomorrow and either   +   or  + 

Rachel xxx


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

Kelly - sending      thoughts your way for tomorrow.
Jilly - all the best for d/r. Valentine's day will be here sooner than you think. 
Thank you all for thinking about me, my dh spoke to our sw & told her he wasn't very happy with her attitude & if she could give us an answer before the weekend.We still have to wait until Monday before they reach a decision but it could be late afternoon/evening before we get an answer. 
 to you all.


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

Hey all

Kel - thinkin pink

Bunbun - hoping so v much that all is gonna come good for you with your call on Monday    

Jilly - Valentines day is going to be a very special baby making day hunny    

Sair - yes hun, where are you lovely?  Hope you are all well!!

Erica - hey lovely  

And more   to Starr, KJ, Julie, Molly & Candy


No one will believe me when I say that my HCG is still going up - albeit v v slowly but it is.....  Apparently this is hugely uncommon but the saga continues.... I'm really starting to struggle now.  I'm tired and emotional.  I don't know what to think.  I have to have another blood test on Tuesday and if it still rising then a scan on Weds.  The cons hopes that because my progesterone is now quite low that things are going to happen naturally but we just have to keep waiting.....  

H xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Victoria_In_London (Jun 25, 2004)

Hi everyone

I'm sorry I haven't been around for ages.  I've started my new job and my computer screen faces into the room so it's hard to surf around like I used to!

I've read back through the last few pages and I can't believe what a tough time everyone's been having.  Life needs to give the IUI Girls a break.

Holly and Julie - I have PMed you both but I'm so sorry to hear about your m/cs.

Kim - I was very sorry to read about Caleb.  What a horrible decision to have to make. Whenever I log in I'm desperate for news on your adoption - I can't wait until you get your little one(s)!

Jess - I hope the Moscow plan works out - such a shame about the extra costs.

NickJoanneOwen - Massive congratulations on the triplets - what fantastic news!  I'm sure someone's already told you about Jackie Clune's book "Extreme Motherhood:the triplet diaries".  It's about her triplet pregnancy and their first year together.  It's funny, honest and upbeat - worth a read if you haven't already.

Bunbun - I hope everything sorts itself out with the adoption.  I haven't read back far enogh to see what the problem is but I really hope it can be made to work for you.

Moosey and I have both got jobs near home now.  I started mine a couple of months ago and she starts hers in March.  We have said a (not so) fond farewell to the three hour round trip to work and have embraced country-Bumpkin life!  I suppose I should change my name to Victoria_Nowhere_Near_London!

Moosey will be working from home so we're getting quotes to have one of those garden offices built.  I think I'm actually a frustrated grand-designer though because what started as a glorified garden shed is on course to be nicer than our house!!!

Bertie is unbelievably five months old now (where did the time go?) and is of course a little superstar.  We feel very lucky to have him and spoil him rotten (we're probably putting him on course for his fist ASBO by the age of ten) but we don't care.

Hello to Jilly, Candy, Rachel, Kelly, Molly, struthie, Petal, Rachel, Erika and Starr.  Even though I've been rubbish at signing in I still think of you all loads.

Love VIL
xxx


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

V-I_L. Lovely to hear how you, Jackie and Bertie are getting on.
Holly  - sorry to hear that you need more blood tests & that you still don't know one way or the other what is happening.
I've posted my problems on the adoption thread to see if anyone else has encountered the same thing - feel free to read it.
Hope you all have a good weekend.
 to you all.


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

Julie - I hope Lee and his colleague are fine & that the hospital will confirm this. So sorry that yet again you have to go through with the worry .


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Julie..... oh  god!! What a shock. Hopefully Lee's fine and just a bit shaken up.... Really hope he's home safe soon...... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Holly.. i'm really confused now. Do they think it's ectopic and growing slowly or could things be ok??  Sorry to sound dim. Oh honey this must be torture for you. Can't they scan you now just to check and then again next week as well ??  Sending you loads of love xxxxxxxx

BunBun.. just read your post on the adoption thread... Surely they should have been through all this before you're about to go to panel?? Hoping it's just a blip and they realise what a fab parent you will be xxxx

Victoria... How lovely to hear from you... Glad you and jackie have managed to move jobs closer to home and to Bertie!! We need piccies NOW!!!  It lovely to have good news. xxxx

Kelly hope the scan is all ok and there's some lovely pink news !!

I'm off today... been sick last night and this morning.... (NO not that!) I think it's stress... i'm worried about mum and i've got a new boss who i belive is not human, she's got no soul or compassion and is making mine and everyone else's life a misery. When i get upset is always goes to my stomach, so a day indoors on the sofa for me...

Love to you all..... Lets hope our luck turns around soon  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## moomin05 (Jul 13, 2005)

Julie - hope Lee is ok.... surely things can only get better now for the both of you   

VIL - good to hear from you, I was only thinking about you the other day.

Kelly - Thanks for the text this morning ..... so is it .....    or    or    .  Thanks for letting me know, we will keep them in suspense for a bit longer     

Right got to go off to view  a nursery for Megan this afternoon


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Moomin No Fair !!!! 

<stamps feet in temper!!>

xx


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## ERIKA (Sep 2, 2004)

Jilly – Ugly Sweaty Betty, DH knows you so well eh  Love the fact that you are trying to sniff your drugs whilst the cap is still on! You do like to be different don't you   Hope you have a d/r experience like Rachel with no s/e & wishing you lots of luck for your scan on the 2nd Feb    
Holly – I have posted on the IVF but must say again that I’m so very sorry that you are still stuck in limbo land    I can’t believe what you & DH are having to go through & hope with all my heart that you get answers in the next few days so that you both know one way or another. You are constantly in my thoughts  Just because you asked, porky  here joined weight watchers & lost 4½lb last week.
BunBun – Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry that you are being messed around   & at the very last minute. I’m with the others, think of KJ, I’m sure you wouldn’t have got this far to be stopped at the final hurdle. Sending you masses of       for Monday. Faith, hope, belief & trust hun we will have everything crossed for you.
Moomin – Ah little Megan is coming on a treat isn’t she  bet you will feel really weird having your first night away from her, nice to have a bit of you time though.
Jo – Wow triplets    how fantastic! So pleased your scan went well, hoping you can rest a little now. 
VIL – Lovely to hear from you & to catch up on yours & Mooseys news   Can’t believe Bertie is 5 months old   where did that time go? Bet he’s gorgeous but obviously we need pictures to be sure! 
Molly – Hope you’re ok    as you start the new chapter in your life.
Jess – Hope your throat is better  & that you’ve received lots of tlc from DH. Lots of     for your appt Tuesday. Thanks for calling me skinny bird  
Kelly –  for your scan today I’m sure everything will be great & hey flavours don't matter.
Rachel – Excellent news that you’ve start stimming    lots of luck for your scan on Monday. 
Starr – Hope the sickness has gone today  it’s not surprising with all that you’ve got going on at the moment. Lots more     for you, your mom & nearest & dearest. 
Julie – Oh mate so sorry to hear that you’ve got yet another worry  Hope Lee & his friend are ok   that they are nothing more than shaken up. You’re luck has to change soon poppet, believe it     
Catwoman -    as always. Thanks for pm, I'll catch up with you Monday. Love to you & the twins, not long now eh  You might be bored now missus but believe me make the most of it!!!

Hello   to KJ, Kitty, Misky, Struthie, Petal & anyone else I’ve not mentioned.

Love to all & have a great weekend,

Erica.xxxxx


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Good afternoon my lovely jublies !!!!!!  

First of all I must say sorry for sounding selfish in my last post by asking peeps to think pink.I suppose what I meant really was that I am lucky to have a son already and feel we have worked dam hard to get pg again and sssooo lucky to be blessed with 2 babies and I really cant see us going through any of this again in the future,so I meant to say I would love to experience what it is like to have a daughter,so sorry if I sounded like a seflish hormonal wacko  

Anyway huge relief cos both babies are fine,both great sizes only a slight size difference and they are very happy with them and we are now on 4 weekly scans  scary!!

We are so over the moon cos we are expecting .............................................................................................

 A BOY   AND A GIRL   !!!!

Thankyou all so much for your good wishes and pink thinking  

Right then

Julie-OMG what is it with men having accidents eh ??!! Really hope they are both ok but just a little shook up rather than injured,thinking of you hunny 

Starr-aww hun,hope you have relaxed today,nasty bosses aint half horrid.big hugs 

VIL-I was thinking of you two the other day,so glad life is cracking on for all 3 of you.lovely o hear from you 

Moomin-thanks for not spilling the beans hun  how did Meg go last night??

BunBun-big hugs for you hun,we are all here for you,hope you gt some replies on the adoption thread 

Holly-wow sweetie I cant believe how long this is going on for,you must be physically and emotionally drained,I am so hoping this all ends well for you both,thinking of you loads.

Jilly-wohoo e/c date already eh??!! keep up the good work babe.

Big loves to all

Kelly x


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Julie

Thats a relief,make sure you look after him,but not too well eh !!??  

Kelly x


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Julie - I'm so glad to hear that Lee is ok xxx


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Julie - So glad to hear Lee is okay - what a horrible scare for you though.  

Kelly -  Hooray!!!  Really happy to hear your news and to hear that all is well with the babies.  Take care of yourselves

Starr - Hope you are feeling better.   to your horrid boss.

Jilly - Hope the downregging is going well and you are feeling ok.

I'm off for my first (day 7 of stimms) scan tomorrow and feeling a bit apprehensive.  It's so hard to know what is going on down there!!  And, I have a nurse coming around to the house on Tuesday to administer the IVIG - seems a bit surreal the idea of sitting in my house attached to a drip for 4 hours with a nurse in attendance!  I'm thinking of getting the first series of Desperate Housewives on DVD to entertain us.  My lovely consultant phoned me on friday to check whether I had any more concerns about the IVIG and because he was worried I might have been having a panic after watching the Panorama programme (which obviously I was!).

Big   to Holly, Erica, KJ, Moomin, jess, Struthie, Bunbun, Jo, Molly, Catwoman and Petal.

Love Rachel xx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Julie so glad to hear Lee is ok, what a worry for you both x


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## moomin05 (Jul 13, 2005)

Julie -glad to hear that Lee was OK after the accident.

Kelly - hope you are ok Hun

Rachel - Good luck for this cycle, thinking of you

Jilly - Good luck to you to.

Big Hello to everyone else, 

WE are all fine here, have now moved Megan into her own room and lo and behold she has now started to sleep through the night, usually from 7.30pm to 7am, so can cope with that.  She is very clingy at the moment, so just hoping she will be ok with my parents baby sitting for the meet as my mum will have to bath and feed her before bed    

Waiting for delivery from Kiddicare as Megan's high chair is being delivered sometime today, then hoping to go for a walk later.

Got a horrendous sore throat today, you know the ones where it hurts to swallow and hurts to talk     

Right better go and clear up the kitchen!!!


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

I need to sound off somewhere and hope you don't mind me choosing this thread .... but I am livid.

It was our goddaughters 7th birthday this weekend and she was meant to be having a disco party at home from 6pm on Saturday, we have never missed any of her birthday parties and always arrive a couple of hours early to help set up as its normally in a hall ..... this year was no exception and we arrived at 3.45pm (Were unable to get hold of them by phone/mobile b4, but they knew we were coming and that we had booked hotel for weekend)

On arrival, no one was in, so we basically waited almost 2 hours, in the cold car and no sign .... I was paniced, left a few message on the answer phone, saying I really hope nothing has happened to our goddaughters grandparents and they have had to rush off, or to them..... left presents in door with a note and left for something to eat, expecting a call, nothing that night and nothing yesterday, so today I phone again.

Left a  message saying how worried I was that something had happened and that I would phone there parents (Goddaughters grandparents) just got off the phone and they have gone to Tunisia for 2 weeks holiday for her birthday .... I am gobsmacked.

Instead of letting it mull over, I phoned back up and left another message (Now wish I had just left well alone) saying;

That I am glad to hear that they are all ok, thats the main thing that no one was hurt in an accident or something more serious as we were really worried, that I had spoken to there dad, who has advised they are on holiday, that I am upset they never bothered telling us as it cost money to go down etc and that this was a good way to end our friendship, I said that I wish them or goddaughter no harm or malice and am so relieved that they are ok and that I wish our goddaughter every future happiness, but that this is goodbye and left it there .........

--------------

Its never been the most stable of friendships, no on our behalf I may add, we always took our responsibilities as godparents very seriously, but there is no excuse for this, having spoken to them the week b4 we came down and they said nothing..... other than discussing the party that we were attending, I said we could come earlier in the day instead as 30kids in there house was allot, but she insisted goddaughter would be hurt if we were not at the party ! wtf ..... I am so mad, wish I hadn't left message though, will ignore any calls if they do try and call, this truly is it. Cx


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## *looby* (Jun 14, 2004)

How dare they make you go all the way down 
knowing full well that they werent going to be there   

I am not surprised you are so angry 

Lots of love to you all 
xxxxxxxxxxx


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## ERIKA (Sep 2, 2004)

Julie  - So pleased to hear & what a relief that Lee is ok. No doubt you're being a wonderful nurse. About to pm you   
Rachel -        for your scan today, looking forward to reading your news tomorrow, I just know this is the start of good news from you, Jilly, Jodi & JED!
Moomin - Ah bless little Megan, her own room & sleeping 7 til 7 what an absolute darling   I hope you're feeling better, I've got a nasty throat infection & fluid on the ear drum at the moment so know how you're feeling. Get to the docs I did this morning & have got antibiotics for 10 days, can't wait for them to start working as I can't eat properly & I do like my food   
Starr -          love & positive thoughts to you & yours as always.
Holly -   thinking of you.
Candy - Can't believe your story   no wonder you were bl**dy angry   & quite rightly so. I don't really know what to say because I can't actually believe that they did that to you. I don't think you can describe them as friends, friends just wouldn't do that to each other. The expense of travelling, booking a hotel, going early to help etc & they couldn't be ars*d to phone you & let you know that they had decided to go away instead. Big  to you & I hope you get some sort of explanation not that it is going to help but could be interesting listening.
Jilly - Ahhhhhh poor finger  So d/r drugs have turned you into nymph bird then  poor DH. Bet he was gutted you managed to get free, he probably needs a rest!

Big   to all not mentioned, must dash,

Erica.xxx


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

This is going to be very short but just wanted to say a big   to all the IUI friends.

Quick update on me - 18 follies all around 10mm at scan today and IVIG tomorrow.  Maybe E/C Sunday/Monday?? (But that is just me guessing as clinic won't tell me!)

Love Rachel xxxx


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Wow its all happening here !!

Rachel-sorry I didnt get on in time to wish you luck for your scan hun.Fab news about tose lovely follies cant believe its all moving so fast,keeping everything crossed for you.Desperate h/w sounds like a plan to me  

Erica-aww hun fancy being ill eh ?! hope those antibiotics start working their magic soon 

Julie-hows Lee doing?? and more importnatly how are you??

Holly-thinking of you loads for your further tests this week hunny,still holding out every hope for tht miracle for you sweetie,you so deserve it     

Starr-hope your ok petal,thinking of you loads 

Moomin-awww bless Megan.your so lucky to have her sleeping so well,Oli was a nightmare 

BunBun-keep us posted with your adoption news hunny,keeping everything crossed

Catwoman-d day is getting closer for you sweetie,wont be long now till you see those babies of yours.all the luck in te world hunny

Candy-OMG how infuriating!!!! From what you posted it sounds like your well within your righs to be angry.You should be proud of yourself that you took the role of godparents so seriously.some people choose to have godparents for their children but dont seem to realise how important they are.Hope your ok sweetie!! 

Jilly-hows that rollercoaster ride treating you hunkeeping everything crossed for you  

Right nothing really to report from me.I am so knackered lately but I am trying to do bits and bobs towards getting ready for these babies. we are in the process of decorating the smaller bedroom for Oli to move into so we can use the bigger bedroom for the new arivals.other than that nothing intersting  

Love to all

Kelly


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

Oh Candy - that's no way to be treated by a supposed good friend.  I just cannot understand how people can treat others this way  I wouldn't even treat a worst enemy this way let alone a vgf.... I am gobsmacked and you are right to forget this person and move on.  They don't deserve you.  Am so cross  

Kel - hope you get the decorating all done and dusted and Oli loves his new room.

Moomin - hope little miss behaves her self for the Grandparents!  Sounds like she's loving her new room!

Big  to everyone

Had a pm from VIL who has helped me understand what's going on and am now feeling calmer and can anticipate what will probably happen next.  Doesn't seem as overwhelming now, such a relief.  Basically my body still thinks it's pg so HCG is still going up even though I have miscarried.  Or, remains of the placenta can continue to grow or it can be that those remains can turn cancerous, but it's not that!!!  I had another test today and it hasn't risen but it's still hovering, so have to go for a scan on Friday.  I may then have a D&C and a laporoscopy depending on outcome of the scan.....  at least we have some idea now....


H


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

Julie - glad to hear all ok with Lee, you must be so relieved.
Candy - what a horrible thing for them to do 
Holly - so sorry 
Just a quick one to let you know we got a phone call last night & we're going to panel tomorrow. Sw's have accepted that we can't give any more details than we already have. Nervous but excited.


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## starr (Mar 23, 2004)

Morning lovely ladies...

Got a day off and this afternoon am going bridesmais shoping with my friend nd her (soon to be) step daughter..

Thanks again for the lovely messages for Mum, she's had a wobbly weekend and lots of tears. I think she's feeling better again now. She keeps saying that she doesn't want to upset anyone...We've all told her not to worry about us.   . She went out on sat night for my aunts birthday and got very drunk and was sick !!  Mothers eh !!

Julie.. so glad Lee is ok honey.. how's you...??  You're sounding a little brighter xxx

BunBun.. good luck for panel... xxx

Holly... Glad VIL had clarified thinks for you.. she's a wise one  Really hope things sort themselves out with no need for an op. Sending you loads of love xx

Candy... Are these the same 'friends' who were funny at J's christening ??  Really people never fail to amaze me. How dare they not tell you. Good on you for saying what you did honey. I've realised that some friendships are totally imbalanced with takers and givers. That's not how it's supposed to be... they should be there to support each other. Sending you a big hug... you don't need any stress now xxxxxxx

Kel... take it easy girl!! Can't beleive you're 20 weeks + already... how time flies !!

Moomin.. ahh bless Megan in her own room.. so sweet. I'm sure she'll be an angel for nanny and grandad !!

Love to Erika,Molly, Jilly, Rachel, (hope the ivig goes well!), Vil and Jackie, Struthie, Catwoman ( any news ??) Jo, Petal and everyone else.....

Love me xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Morning all

Well I am proud of myself this morning cos I have managed to put some Ikea shelves together,they are only small csatle type ones for Olivers room but I did it YEY!!

Anyway   how bloomin cold is it??  

Holly-aww hunny I am glad VIL has helped you understand it a bit better hun. Cant believe its all still going on,you must be drained,thinking of you loads as always  

Julie-glad you and lee are ok hunny!!! Fancy any choccie I am off to the shop  

BunBun-loads of luck for going to panel hun,we are all right behind you,keep us posted                

Candy-hope your not stressing about your friends too much,any more contact??

Starr-whats your mum like eh thought it was meant to be the other way round  

Rachel-      

Right off to get some choccie and a steaming mug of mocha

Kelly x


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

Just popped on cos home from our appt with cons.

Bad news is she's leaving & going to Cardiff!

Bit annoying cos the lovely Mr Lower left last year & it just doesn't feel the same. 

We're going to have our FET in May, the cycle after our holiday to the Maldives ...sorry, did I mention we're going to the Maldives?      (Just soooooo excited!!!!)

DH wanted to do it next month but if I'd got a BFP (yeah right!!!) I would be about 7 weeks preg & would be a bundle of nerves going all that way (& they have curry for breakfast, which is prob not good!!! )

So we should be all relaxed & chilled out!  


Anyway,  Julie, thanks for PM, one on its way back!

Holly - poor you - what a rollercoaster!  If the HCG is going up is there any possibility it is a viable pregnancy?  (Sorry, clutching at straws here cos really want it to be)

KJ - thinking of you! How are you these days?  Any adoption news?

VIL - great to hear from you, I was wondering how you were getting on.  Working from home sounds like such a good idea (I'd spend all day on here & looking for holidays!!!)

Kelly - you crazy decorator!!! You must be nesting big stylie!!  Great to see it's a boy & a girl - how perfect is that?!!  You clever girl!

Erica - good to see you back!!  Are you a size 00 yet?  I'm going for another colonic next week!!    I'm desperate to lose a stone (not during the colonic I hasten to add!!!! )

Claire - come on, post a pic of you looking v heavily pregnant!


By the way, I know I'm being dim (again) but where/when is the next meet?

Love to everyone else - Struthie, Starr, Candy, Shazia, Molly, Rachel, Sarah, Jodi & all the other fab FFs
Jess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Thanks guys for all your support, yes Starr thats them ............... as for any contact Kelly no, but they are still away, not sure when they are back as don't know when they went, but guessing not for another week, I know I will get a few abuse phone calls, as thst what she was like when she fell out with the other godparent a few years back, but I will just let the answer phone deal 

Holly, wish there wasn't more waiting for you x

Good luck bunbun, do let us know how you get on (fingers crossed)

Kim, hope you are xxxx

Love to all Cx


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## Catwoman (Apr 19, 2005)

Hello lovelies!
Sorry for not posting for a while - had my   smacked last night by Jilly for going awol again!   No excuses - just being v. busy getting my life sorted before the arrivals!
Anyway, wanted to a do a few personals... 
Candy  -        to your so-called 'friends'! They sound unbelievably rude and inconsiderate. I think you definitely did the right thing leaving the message on their phone - that sort of behaviour is unforgivable. 
Starr -   for you and your mum. Sending loads of       her and your way; I'm sure she'll be fine - not least because she has a lovely daughter like you to help her through  
Holly -     Hope you got pm. I wish so much that you could draw a line under this cycle once and for all.
Erica -     to you, too!
Jilly -       for down regging! Thanks for the pm   Can't believe what you're like, you little hornbag! Your poor DH!   
Julie - God, sounds like Lee had a lucky escape   You take care of each other!     Hope the preggy girl in work is behaving herself, or I'll be round to sort her out    
Kelly - So pleased your scan went well! Can't believe you're halfway through already!
Jessssssssssssssssssssssssss... what was that? Where are you going on holiday again? Didn't quite catch what you were saying...      DH has taken some pics of me, which I promise I'll get round to posting one of these days. It's a hell of a bump, that's all I can say... it draws so many reactions. I've seen teenage boys leap back in shock from it, old ladies look at me really sympathetically, even a few looks of horror! My legs and arms are like sticks in comparison; think of a set of bagpipes in a smock top and flares, and you'll get the general picture!
BunBun - how exciting! Please let us know what happens      
Rachel - fingers and toes crossed for the IVIg! I know loads of girls on the ARGC thread swear by it. I'm sure you're doing the right thing - remember, it's no more risky than having a blood transfusion. You'll be absolutely fine, and it will be soooooooo worth it when you're holding a bubs (or two!) in your arms.
VIL - lovely to hear from you! 
KJ - you OK?    
Big loves to Moomin, Jodi, Shazia and anyone I'm too dense to remember at the moment.
All fine here. Twins still hanging on in there - really hoping I'll make it to 38 weeks; not least because we've been shockingly disorganised. Still waiting for the car seats to arrive, still no sign of the cot beds or nursery furniture (they're on order from John Lewis), but that's OK as the builders have only just turned up today (two weeks late!!!!!!!!!!) to convert the dressing room into a nursery. Still, I'm happy - one of them, Darius, is a fair old bit of eye candy   so my days at home pre-birth should prove to be a little more interesting! Heheeheheheheehehe....
Mogs not happy at all with all the noise and activity, though. I have had to do a lot of fur-baby soothing this morning, with the promise of a tin of tuna for dinner.
Right, had best go. Sitting at the computer is getting more and more uncomfortable, and I have cups of tea to make!
Lots of love to all of you,
Claire xxxx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

hiya friends 
sorry I've been AWOL, thank you for asking after me...have been reading and keeping up but just hadnt the energy to post, nothing much to report and just feeling a bit woe is me   I hate this time of year anyway and feeling quite miserable after the events with Caleb at Christmas has just left me  bit wiped out. we had visitors all over Xmas and i dont really think the dog situation hit me till after the new year. I'm missing him so badly, I still feel all tearful every time i think about it, i never thought losing a pet would hit me so bad. i miss my walks and can feel my waist expanding at the lack of exercising already..20+ miles a week was def much better for my health..and its just not the same walking by yourself.
dh and i have taken up squash in an attempt to focus on something/get out of the house/keep fit..only been twice so far but really enjoy it so def going to keep it up. am rubbish at it so far but at least its a work out...am aching all over tho!
we are getting stuck into some decorating too..hall and landing..so thats keeping us busy, tho i hate decorating..and typical the weathers turned cold now when i really need to keep the windows open to let out the horrible smell of the gloss!
we have had 2 calls about children, one b4 xmas and one last week, but they havent been right for us..in fact they've been very 'wrong' for us..our sw is coming over in a while to drop off our family book (so i can change the caleb photos) and i will have a chat about the 'appropriateness' of the children we are being offered.
anyway enough of me
a quick few personals

bun bun - hope all goes well at panel..they have been v naughty stressing you at the last post 

catwoman..wow you re flying close to the wire with your building work lol..hope it all gets down in time..not long now!

julie..phew glad lee is ok..will pm you shortly

candy - your 'friend' beggars belief..def not the sort of friend you deserve..what a completely horrible thing to do

jess - ooh lucky you going to the maldives.. we went for our honeymoon and it was amazing

starr - lol at your mums drinking spree..maybe she needed to let her hair down with all the stress thats going on

rachel - your follies sound fab. hope all the hoo-ha over the panorama programme hasnt upset you in any way about the immune stuff..

moomin - hope your throats better..bless megan going in her own room, what a big girl

kelly - how fab to get one of each  

right must get on..got a about a billion photos to send off to photobox

laters 
 to all not mentioned personally

kj x


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Afternoon all

We have had SNOW !!!!!  Oli woke up and came rushing into our room yelling  "santa is coming again,he made it snow" bless him.And heres me worrying about slipping over and all the kids at school are running around like loonies  

Cant stay long cos I have got some achy pains around my bump and I just cant get comfy today,so I am gonna go and make some warm fudge brownies and eat them all with a pint or twn of milk   

Kj- sorry to hear that your getting unsuitable matched hunny,really hope your chat with the social worker helps.Sorry you have got to go through your family book to remove pics of Caleb,will be thinking of you hunny   

Catwoman-had to laugh at your post   your a nutter!! want to see some pics of your bump now though   and also any pics of fit builders!!!!! I am sure everything will be sorted before the babies arrive,you have done fantastically well to get this far,cant wait for your announcment 

Jess- it was on thenews this morning that the Maldives has dissapeared off the face of the earth     only joking,great thay your gonna have a fab holiday before your tx

bun bun-still thinking of you petal   

Jilly-hows things chuck??!! Any horrid side effects yet?? yes we have got names, we decided pretty much straight away which is spooky cos it took ages with Oli.We like Lilly Rose for a girl and Harry George for a boy   

Julie-you ok today chick? got anything nice planned for the weekend??

Holly-   

Right must go and do something useful,like eat

Kelly x


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## ERIKA (Sep 2, 2004)

Holly - I'm happy to hear that VIL has been able to put your mind at ease a little & explain what's happening to your body  At least you are more aware now & maybe able to make sense of things. I can't believe how this cycle has been for you  & am truly gutted that you & DH have had to go through so much heartache. Lots of love precious  take care. 
Kelly - Glad your scan went well  how perfect having one of each. Hope the decorating is going well, don't do too much though. Lovely names by the way.
Rachel - 18 follies so far, you go girl    Everything is going great, I hope you are feeling really positive. Also hope the IVIG experience went well yesterday.
Candy - I did it my pm & on the other thread but hey it's such fantastic news that I think I'll do it again&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..

      Congratulations to you & Mr Candy! Over the moon for you sweetheart it's the happy positive news that we have been desperately waiting for on the thread  It's just got to be the start of a long run of good news  Wishing you a very happy & healthy pregnancy.
Julie - Hello fruit  how's you? Thanks for pm, wages are done so I'll reply tomorrow. Hope you don't have too much trouble with  I've waited 7 weeks for mine & it's a stinker  
Looby - Hope you're ok, lovely new pic of Katie by the way  
BunBun - Ah mate lots of              for good news today when you go to panel. Everything is crossed for you & I'm looking forward to logging onto a celebration tomorrow. 
Starr - Hope you enjoyed bridesmaid shopping with your friend  Good on your mom for having a blow out she deserved & no doubt needed it. Sending lots of     &    to you both.
Jess - Great news to hear that your appt went well & you're doing FET in May    Did you mention a holiday?  You'll be relaxed & raring to go, just perfect! Colonic  no thanks! Size 00 but of course I am  
Catwoman - Ah bless ya!   Cramming everything in at the last minute, lovin' your style girl. Timed nicely so that you can eye the builders up whilst on maternity leave, there's nothing daft about you is there  let's just hope they have a love of  You're very close to 38 weeks how exciting, can't wait to hear about the new arrivals.
KJ - Big  hope you start to feel better soon. Fur babies are part of the family so it hits very hard when you loose one, I miss my Lucy like crazy  Squash sounds like hard work but I'm sure you'll see the benefits soon. Hope your chat with your sw goes well & that the next call gives you what you are looking for  
Jilly - Hiya Betty look I've found you  Glad DH is getting some time off now poor sod must be knackered  Stims is only a week away, good luck for the 2nd    but unlike everyone else you don't seem to be needing them to make you feel better  My new friend is lovely thanks & overjoyed to have found me! I'll be able to pass her so many tips, look where it's got me!
Molly - Hope you're ok   & just having too much fun to be able to post!

Hello  to Moomin (& Megan  ), VIL, Jo, Kitty, Misky, Struthie, Petal & anyone I've rudely forgotten.

Not a lot happening with me, things are mad at work but it keeps me out of mischief. I've waited 7 weeks for AF & it finally arrived yesterday & is giving me a tough time but I was expecting that. I've also got a bad ear & throat so feel ready for the knackers yard (no comment needed Jilly  ) antibiotics & painkillers are kicking in though so I'll be fine & dandy in a day or 2.

Erica.xxx


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## ERIKA (Sep 2, 2004)

I had to find one that involved food    
Might as well eat them Monday night, I eat everything else


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

Thank you all for your wishes.
I'm pleased to say we were accepted (unanimous decision) by panel.
We got asked 4 very simple questions & that it was it.
No sooner than we had sat down in the waiting room the chair (from the panel) came in & told us of their decision.
We had a lovely meal at a country house hotel last night to celebrate.
We are truly overwwhelmed and are on cloud nine.


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Great news BunBun - I was looking out for news,hope you don't have long to wait now xxx


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## Catwoman (Apr 19, 2005)

Candy - woohooooooooooooooooooo! Just read your news on the other thread thanks to Erica's tip-off... what fantastic news!     
BunBun - masses and masses of love and congratulations to you - I'm thrilled for you        
Erica - Hope the AF pain isn't too bad...     Loved the bagpipe icon! The eye-candy is shaping up very nicely today, thanks v. much   Though I'm not too sure about his fawn dungarees  
KJ -       to you. I bet you're feeling Caleb's absence massively at the moment   Thinking of you and your DH.
Kelly - lovely names! I like very muchy!
Jilly -       
Holly -        
Well, had antenatal appt today, and I've been booked for an induction on 8th Feb              As you can see, I am a little scared of this. Of course, bubs may make an appearance before then, but given the fact that we won't have anything to bring them home in, or for them to sleep in until 10 days time, they are under strict instructions to stay put for the time being!
Oh, and funny story I meant to tell you a couple of weeks ago, when I went to the opticians. He knows I'm expecting twins. Anyway, he was talking to me about my contact lenses, when he said:
'So, do they move around much?'
Me (thinking he meant my lenses): 'Well, not so much move around... but they get bloody uncomfortable by the end of the day, and it's always a relief to take them out'
Optician (confused and a bit shocked): 'I'm talking about the babies!'
'Spose if I'd been quick enough I should have said: 'So am I!'
Right, on that note I shall love you and leave you. Big     to all not mentioned.
Claire xxxx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

catwoman, thats not long is it 
lol at the opticians 
thanks for the hugs,am feeling a bit brighter the last couple of days, been busy and keeping myself occupied with decorating..not enjoying it much but it takes my mind off it
kj x


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## creaky (Mar 17, 2005)

Hello girls,

I popped on here yesterday to see how you girls were all getting along (I like to check you are all ok from time to time) and I left the computer in floods of tears.....you seem to have had some really bad luck in the last month or so, so I just wanted to send a massive   to Julie, KJ, and Holly.

Congrats to Bunbun and Candy - wonderful news, hopefully a sign of things to come for this thread!

Big   and   to everyone else!

Krysia xxx


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## ERIKA (Sep 2, 2004)

BunBun - Congratulations to you & DH that's fantastic news (see Candy I told you that you would start a run, we just needed someone to start it off   )
       
You carry on celebrating BunBun you deserve it so very much. Well done both of you the rollercoaster ride has been worth it.
Catwoman - Blimey I'm    for you! Fantastic news mate, well for the rest of us anyway   2 weeks to go then   OMG, I've got the hospital that day too but my day won't be half as exciting as yours!
KJ - Glad you're feeling a little brighter   there's plenty of decorating to do at mine when you run out   

Erica.xxx


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Hayup chucks

BunBun- fanbloomintastic news !!!!!!! So happy for you      glad you celebrated the special occasion   well done to you both!!

Kj-glad your feeling a little brighter hunny,thinking of you loads,esp with the decorating,I hate it too,my house is a right tip at the mo and I just wanna get back to normal.

Catwoman-OMG !!!!!! Dead excited for you babe.wow thats only 13 days away!!!! how you feeling about ti all?? I havent nicked one or both of yournames have I?

Erica-sorry your af is playing you up chick,big hugs to you 

Love to all

I am trying to keep ou the way of Michael at the mo cos he is ATTEMPTING to put a wooden blind up in Olivers new bedroom.I am also trying to keep an eye on him at the same time so he doesnt get too chopper happy with his jigsaw cos at the end of the day I want the blind to blummin fit 

Kelly x


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Me again

Julie- ooh another lover of the name Lilly    it was my gradmas name so my mum is chuffed to bits we are using it. And freakily enough Harry and George were Michales grand dad and great gran dads names.

Well I am shocked and stunned,Michael has managed to out the blind up with no swearing or breaking of antyhing and its not falling down already   lets hope his enthusiasm carries on into the weekend when he has got to take Olivers Ikea bet apart to move it to his new bedroom.

Off to do tea-dead lazy tonight cos its just junk out the freezer 

Kelly x


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Hi there everyone

BunBun - That is brilliant news.  Congratulations to you and DH and I hope it isn't too long before you have your little one/ones.

Kelly - Really lovely names - Lily is one of my favourite names and I like Harry too.

Julie - Enjoy Grandma's tonight.  I'm with you on the chocolate front - lunch was peanut M&Ms (for the protein!) and a double decker  

Creaky - Congratulations on your twins!!!

Catwoman - Wow!  Can't believe it's come round so quickly.  Wishing you loads of     

KJ - Glad you are feeling a bit better.........decorating sounds very virtuous!

Erica - Hope you feel better soon an dthat work is not too crazy

Jilly - How are you doing?  Did you know there is a Tillypops on the ICSI board?!  Always makes me laugh for some reason!!

Holly - Hope you are okay and that you get some answers/a way forward tomorrow.

Moomin - How are you and Megan?  Looking forward to seeing you (and everyone else) in Oxford

Molly - Hope all is well with you

Candy - Congratulations again!  I always think it is brilliant when someone does it "naturally" - gives us all hope!!

No more news from me - another scan tomorrow and e/c on Monday hopefully.  Need to remind myself of supposed healthy diet and stop having M and M/Double Decker lunches.

Love to all 

Rachel xxx


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## moomin05 (Jul 13, 2005)

BunBun - Congratulations, so glad it all went well for you.  Really pleased for you

Julie - Enjoy tea at Grandma's tonight, hope it is something naughty and fattening

Kelly - Love the name Lily to it is my neice's middle name     

Rachel - Glad the IVIG went well yesterday, good luck for egg collection next week, will be thinking of you.  Looking forward to seeing you to.  Megan is good thanks

KJ - hope you finish the decorating soon, we desperately need our lounge/diner done and also our spare room - any volunteers     

Erica - Hope the diet is going well, love the ticker, glad to see you and Jilly are up to your old tricks      I need to start loosing some weight need to lose my baby belly.   

Catwoman - not long to go, can't wait to hear your news.    

Creaky - Good to see you. Love the piccie of the twins

Candy - How are you feeling?  So when is your scan etc, want to know all the details     

Holly - thinking of you for tomorrow, hope you get some answers and can move on either way    

Sair -  You have gone very quiet.  Are you and the twinnies ok?  Looking forward to seeing you next month

Starr - How are things with your mum?  Thinking of you lots.  Looking forward to seeing you to   

All is well here, I am still full of cold and feel absolutely shattered.  Megan is still sleeping well at night in her own room!!

Have booked her in for Aquatots today, looking forward to that, it is a 5 week course at the Marriot Hotel in Portsmouth, the sessions are 35 mins.  Hope it is good and worth it as it has cost me £50 !!!  Can't believe how expensive, but at least it is a small group and in a nice environment !!!!

Off to Norfolk at the weekend for the night to see DH's father and his Financee.  He is 60 and getting married in April after leaving the woman he was with and moved in with the woman next door    

Right off to call my friend as I have just had a text from her to say that her mum passed away this morning, really sad as she hasn't spoken to her mum for ages (had a massive fall out over some money she owed my friends DH).  Feel really sorry for her.  

Moomin
xxx


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## Victoria_In_London (Jun 25, 2004)

Hi everyone

Just a real quicky to send a massive congratulations to Bunbun and Candy!!!!  I am delighted for you both.

Love VIL
xxx


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## AussieMeg (Sep 5, 2004)

BLAST FROM THE PAST

hi girls

I feel awful that a year has passed and I haven't posted and haven't really had time to read anything. Wanted to say I think about you all often and have a week coming up next week when my mum and husband will be here so can actually find out what has been happening to everyone.

Be more involved again soon I promise

Megan


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

LOVELY to see you Meg!! think about you often and wonder how you and the boys are doing  

kj x


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## murtle (Feb 13, 2004)

Great to hear f rom you Meg. I often look for news from you. Was thinking about you just this morning 'cos its Aussie day...spooky or what. Can't wait to hear what you and the boys have been up to.


  to the lovely KJ


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

Kelly - love the names - Lily is high up on my fav girl's names (had a really lovely Lily in my class last year).

Hearing people's grandparents' names made me laugh - would never call them after mine - Joyce & Ambrose (aka "Chick") & Winifred & Philip (although Philip is ok!) & a right funny bunch they were too!!!!

Aussie Meg - think about you loads!  Great to see the pics - not surprised you don't have time to sit on your PC & read all this stuff!

Sorry - not read back v far  - congrats to BunBun & Candy.

Julie - lovely to hear from you!  Hope Lee's back is now fine.

Still not replied about the meet, trying to decide - so want to go!!

Holly - thinking of you loads - hope you're ok    

Love to all,
Jess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Rachel B (Apr 2, 2005)

Hi there everyone


Just a quickie to wish you all a lovely weekend.   

Love to all

Rachel xxxxx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

New home peeps

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=82786.new#new


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