# How has your body changed after tx?



## pink panther (May 4, 2005)

Was wondering if anyone else has experienced anything similar?
Before we had tx my cycle was 28 days to-the-day-every month without fail. My breasts would hurt for about a week before my period and I would get a few period pains on the first day of my cycle but nothing to worry about or take medication for, it had been like this for years. 
It's been over a year since we had tx and my body still doesn't seem to know what it is doing. My breasts either don't hurt atall for a few months or hurt constantly, again, for a few months (most recently, they have hurt constantly from one period to another) my cycles have been either two weeks late or one week early.
I have friends who have suffered with period pains but I have always been lucky and with little symptoms. However, since tx I've had the worst pains in my life. Will wake during the night crying from not-knowing-what-to-do with myself as I'm in so much pain and discomfort. Constantly taking paracetamol and ibuprofen during this time, and on a couple of occaisions even contemplated phoning in sick to work (but didn't).
Has anyone else experienced anything like this? It add that lovely touch of insult to injury doesn't it?!!!
xxx


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Hello PP  
You are so right, its still a 'touch of insult' on top of everything else..uummm a great way to sum it all up about being a woman..Thx...thats all we need!!! 
To be honest i never know where i am with my cycle, i think its because i try to blank it out. To me its all about disappointment and so i try to forget my cycle. I am sure alot of you can understand this concept of thought or maybe i am odd? Its controlled my life for so many years and its still flipping doing it... However i do get awful period pains and they go on for atleast two days..
My cycle has changed sinced having tx, and i wonder if it takes atleast a year or so, for our bodies to get back to its healthy state. I wonder if our MINDS also have a powerful effect and runs and controls our bodies?
I think whilst we go through this and start to feel alittle more relaxed, maybe thats when things settle down alittle...
I am not sure
Love Astridxx
p.s the positive side by trying to forget my cycle, i don't notice PMT...   my hubby is pleased until i bite his head off.....


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Hi ladies!

I have gained 1.5 stone since my last IVF which I am shocked and horrified about - and its a real struggle trying to lose the weight, its like my whole metabolism has changed since the last treatment, and I don't like the new, wider version of me! I could understand it if I ate like a porky pig, or if I scoffed sweet or fattening things all the time, or if I ate for comfort - but I don't!

My periods have always been awful - I have always suffered with painful monthlies but now they have a tendency to be really painful both in my tum and lower back - so much so at times I can't sit down or stand up properly, I get so bloated that I go up a dress size and I don't know what to do with myself! My DH has noticed my PMT has got worse too - he says before I used to just shout at him, now I use a jackhammer!  

Interesting thread PP - thank you!

Love to all xxx


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## pink panther (May 4, 2005)

Know just what you mean about tx and weight gain, I've put on over a stone-not sure if it's due to the drugs, tx in genral or comfort eating! About a year ago I bumped into someone I used to work with. She said 'you've put on weight, are you pregnant?' I wondered at the time if that was my cue to laugh or cry uncontrollably!!! But, as usual was very 'British' about it all and said I was merely eating too much-what a coward I am!
xxx


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## Maggie Mae (Mar 2, 2006)

Hey ladies, 

I've not experienced this problem, and in fact, since my d+c, my periods have got a lot better, but I actually think that a hefty part of that has been to do with acupuncture and reflexology. Is it worth you considering these kinds of treatments, pp / emcee? Just a thought. I also get if you've completely had enough of spending money on this stuff. From now on I've decided that I only go to reflexology on the basis of delaying my inevitable menopause as long as possible, not in the hope of getting pregnant, but so I don't spend 20 years being loopy..... Great being a woman isn't it?! I hope you get an answer.

Leoarna x


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Hi ladies, hope you are ok today?

I've been having regular reflexology, crystal healing and colour therapy since before my IVF started and decided to continue with it because its so de-stressing and something for 'me' if that makes sense... so I'm afraid I can't put all the horrible side effects or whatever they are down to not trying stuff! I'm going to treat myself to a detox which I can't do until I'm over this next op... the place I go to for the reflex has this thing similar to a foot bath that you place your feet in - the water is ionised and it detoxes you, I kid you not, you should see the colour that water turns - I've seen in people with high cholesterol fatty deposits in the water, in ex smokers the water goes all colours then turns black, its absolutely amazing... and although I'm not really certain how or why it works, it does!  

I have to say my periods are better since I have been having reflexology even though they are still very painful, its more bearable than what it was beforehand and the pain doesn't last as long... I'm a great advocate of reflexology and would recommend it to anyone!

Have a super day ladies
Love
Emcee x


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Hi girls, my periods were always very regular-28 days. Thats how when i was aweek or so late i was sure i was pg! The longest was 3 weeks last year! I always get really sore boobs(this only started when i hit 30!!!) - dont know if it is because they have got bigger or not! Used to be very flat!!!

Like astrid i am trying not to follow my cycle as much now.i used to always write a p in my diary when it came and count down to ovulation. Trying not to do that anymore. I never thought it would work but since i am not writing it all down it actually is possible to forget when its due on the whole! Then it comes!!!! Have af from hell at the minute too on top of a cold!!!


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## als2003flower (Aug 4, 2005)

your soo right. Ive noticed weight gain (ALOTof weight), really really irritable (PMT  ) ive gone from a 28 day to a 31/32 day.  My FSH has increased ALOT since i first started tx.

Horrible AF's, pooly tummy, now i also have pain in my (ahem) down there (nether regions) constant achey or sharp pains... 

Headaches.. used to get them before but not like this..migraine headaches... 

Had some painful periods but also these one that i get now are sooo painful... i sometimes feel im going into a phantom labour.. they are soo painful like contractions!! yuk yuk yuk... i hate this whole AF thing...

Oh and as for bloated water retention well..you must have heard of the beach whale.. well that's me!!  

Feel angry all the time.. cant control myself. OMG I have my follow up consultation tomorrow morning..Ouch hope im ok.. they might just get more than they bargained for


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Hi als2003flower 

You poor thing, you have my sympathy!

Sending you a very gentle (((hug))) and hoping your consultation goes ok tomorrow.

Love & best wishes
Emcee x


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## Bangle21 (Dec 17, 2004)

Emcee,

The "colour therapy" and crystal healing soundsvery interesting!  Do you mind me asking what these treatments consists of?

And, the ionising foot bath - what happens to the water when you've had too much bacardi & coke?    Honestly, I'd love to more about this !  i really fancy it!

It must feel so liberating to find treatments that help.  As you often say Emcee, it all goes towards feeling we have some sort of control over our bodies at last eh?

Love to all
Gill xo


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## Hippy (Aug 2, 2005)

Hi guys know this post was a little while age now but just wanted to say how helpful it was, as I could relate to the shared stories of weight gain & marked raise in PMT symptoms with awful aggressive outbursts and depression (never had either of these so strongly before tx, was just tearful at time of the month, never angry or wanting my life to end.) I hate the weight gain part so much but on the whole it has to be my own fault as I do struggle with comfort eating and in my times of feeling desperately low since tx ended food has been my only relief at times. Before tx I lost a stone and half and was just 7lbs from my all time target weight . . but that was because I had the goal of getting healthy and fit for the sake of the baby I thought was automatically going to conceive with tx. Now there is and will be never a baby I just can't seem to muster the will power to stick with any healthy eating for long and hence can't shift the stone I've put back on. Seeing all my hard work reversed is just another kick in the teeth and at present that fuels the vicious cycle with comfort food which I know I have to get help to try and control.

The other thing my body seems to have suffered which no one else has mentioned yet, is a complete plummet and almost extinction of a sex drive. I am sure this is 95% down to my general low state of mind and getting in the mood just never happens anymore. My DH is amazing and has been so caring and patient with regards to this, but I do worry that there is only so long a healthy red blooded male can put up with such abstinence! Has anyone else gone through this problem and if so how long did it linger for?? I fear I might need some professional guidance with this area just because I think there are some very deep psychological barriers that have developed which need addressing. One such barrier is that I no longer seem able to just enjoy love making for what it is, I have found I want to avoid it because it now only reminds me of what could have been (i.e. getting pregnant) and how that can't happen, which is so sad as things were always good before tx. 

I do hope you didn't mind me sharing the above topic as I know for some it is very personal area, but I am just feeling very alone with all this stuff and wondering if others have experienced the same problem?

Huge hugs
Love
Hippy
xxx


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## Ermey (Aug 17, 2004)

Hi Hippy,  , and hello to everyone  

Hippy, Have sent you a message about other stuff but just wanted to respond to this too. If its any comfort I have been through this several times ....always after tx....and always came out the other side - eventually!

In my case I am convinced that it was caused by several things including self-consciousness about the extra pounds, and low self-esteem, but definately in retrospect also a hormonal link. 

And perhaps more than anything else a feeling of being invaded so much by all the prodding and poking at the clinic, that I got to the stage of feeling my body wasn't my own at all. I think that my reproductive/sexual part of my body just felt like it was being exposed and invaded yet again. Even though it was by my loving and wonderful hubbie, I was having flashbacks to lying on the clinic couch with my legs akimbo (!!!) And the memories of the upset and anxiety of bad scan results and feelings of vulnerability kind of killed the mood (Sorry if TMI guys)

Luckliy Dh was very understanding and supportive, and just kept saying to me 'it will come back eventually', and he was right. On all occasions I was like this after failed tx's which I guess is no surprise.  Also, we both went through a very long period where everytinme we made love we would both cry our eyes out because we knew it wasn't going to make the baby we longed for. Eventualy this stopped us making love.

When it all came back was when we went on holiday, I guess we were so far away from home, and so happy and not thinking of our situation that we both just started to have fun again. We seem to be ok since and enjoying that side of things once again. Things aren't perfect and I have my moments of just being too tense but things are much better.

Sorry not to have any practical answers, but I am sure that with the patience and support of your loving husband you will be ok again. The hardest thing I found was not to worry about it too much (easier said then done I know) as it can become a vicious circle. I think thats why the holiday helped, as it broke the cycle.

Big hugs
Ermey xxxx


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## blueeyes (Jun 19, 2004)

Hi there
I cn totally relate to this.
PP my periods are all over the place last month I waited 52 days for AF!! And I do get more pain now, the usual symptoms are no longer usual I used to get sore boobs a few days before now it happens any time. I do think there is a huge psychological element to this as well as these changes being a true physical response to what our bodies have been through.

Hippy- I think the lack of a desire is part of the overall mourning for the lost chance of a much wanted baby. My DH and I had very little interaction for a long time just prior to finding out about IF as I couldn't cope with the monthly disappointmnet then when we started treatment and my body was prodded about and then with DH low testosterone added to the mix things have not been good. However as time has gone by we have rediscovered that side of our relationship. You just have to go with it and then gradually all this emotion will become less intrusive into the physical side. Certainly feeling fat is not condiucive to feeling sexy either I certainly have struggled with that. Also this may sound crass the less you do 'it' the less you want to do it!! I'm sure yoiur DH will understand all this, he is the person that knows you best and I'm sure he will be patiient.

I think you just have to set aside time for yourselves as a couple without any distactions.........we went camping!!!! No telly no phone I'm not saying that will work for you as I think you need more time and nurturing first. Take Care, treat yourself kindly and it will get better.

Much love 
Blueeyes


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## Hippy (Aug 2, 2005)

Hi Ermey   and Bluyeyes - THANK YOU so much for your very wise and immensely helpful replies re the issue of loss of sex drive after tx. I took huge comfort from knowing others have been in this situ but in time have come out the other side. Am planning to take some holiday with my lovely DH in the next few months, just us and a change of scene, so we can solely focus on gently getting back this side of things, so thank you, your kind replies and sharing on this topic were invaluable. 

Big hugs
Hippy
xxxx


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## pink panther (May 4, 2005)

Hi Hippy,

totally with you on the non-existent libido front. Since our last failed tx over a year ago we rarely make love anymore.

I've always accounted this to the years of 'doing it' like brain-washed robots for over three years. I'm sure I'm not alone in stating scenarios such as us both coming home from work and being totally knackered but still having sex as I obsessively had worked out to the day when I was ovulating-quite a passion killer month-on-month.
Luckily, dh is very patient and understanding and we're slowly working things out.
Hang in there, I think that if your relationship is strong enough to withstand the hell of infertility and tx, you'll work your way through this, make sure you still appreciate all the other great qualities that I'm sure your relationship has.
Enjoy your time away together
lol pp xx


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Hello PP and Hippy
I couldn't agree with you more about the making love/sex part of the relationship..Its so sad because we tried so hard over the years of trying, that this has actually put a mental block on this part of our relationship..
When i went on the workshop in relation to Infertility, this subject was brought up. And do you know what we are not alone? this happens to many couples and the therapist advised that alot of couples break up because of the lack of libido and going off sex due to IF. I actually felt better that i was not alone in these thoughts. I felt that i was also mourning that part of me that was lost due to IF. The only compensation from all of this is that i have got closer to my DH in other ways, without it being so orientated around our sex life...
So girls you are definately not alone, i think i would rather watch Coronation Street at the moment...sad aren't I? 
love astridxx


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## 555pebbles (Feb 24, 2006)

My body was changed by tx I put on lots of weight which at last I have managed to shift.

I use to be 28days I am now 32-35 day cycle which messes with your head cause you think maybe just maybe!

I am much angrier with the world and my husband I get very cross with him which I use to not be like I want to wind him up just to have an argument and don't know when to zip my lips.  He just snaps at the first phrase I think he has so much anger too why us.

I found it interesting someone else gets pains down below sometimes I have such a sharp pain down their and its not even my period.

I also sweat more than I use too and feel hot most of the time.

I would say nothing has changed for the better!


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