# decision made for us



## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Hi
Thank goodness i have found this thread, boy i feel that i can relate to everyone and the saddened reality of what we have had to come to accept. 
I wanted to get a second opinion from another fertility unit before we decided to make any decisions about the future. I sort of knew what was coming my way and the consultant confirmed that our chances were so slim to get pg. I felt hurt, shock and maybe a kind of relief at the same time. He did suggest that if we go for one more tx. then if it fails that we need to look at adoption or donor eggs...
I just wanted to escape and book the next plane out of here because it is such an overwhelming feeling. 
When i discussed with my DH we looked at the option of a further tx, which this may be a possibility (like one for the road) or give up. I just want this whole thing over now, but i am so scared to make that move. We always feel may be the next one will be it? But hey you sort of know the outcome, but having to get your mind around giving it your best shot and knowing the chances are slim that is quite mental torture.Having to be postive and then dreading the thought of it failing and feeling that pain all over again. Plus accepting this is it for us. We now in the process of weighing up the options. Also my dh was not keen on adoption, but feels if we exhaust this route then this will be our next port of call. Hey there is some small relief after all, that there could be a little one on the horizon.
I hope i haven't gone on, but this is a strange place to be because the hope of having your own child is starting to fade away.
Reading your comments helps you to know that you are not alone and there is a life to be led..
Take care
love astridxx


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Astrid,

I can understand exactly what you are saying in your post.

We are on Clomid at the moment and have 2 cycles left before we stop having further tx. We have also talked about adoption too.

You are so right when you say 'this is a strange place to be because the hope of having your own child is starting to fade away'.

It is good that your dh is talking to you about it. I really hope you reach the right decision for you both. Let us know what you decide.

Laine x


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## sas jane v (Aug 7, 2003)

Hi Astrid - I can identify so well with your post and as you say please do not feel you are the only one going thru these emotions
I have found it really helpful reading this thread as there are many brave people who have made the decision to stop tx and are beginning to see their life move on in a good way with more good days than bad 

Im in a similar position as yourself but did go down the adoption route which sadly did not work out for us and am now to try donor eggs later in the year then that will really be it ...I do feel now life is too short to spend too much more emotion/time/energy on IF plus my dh has been diagnosed with a condition which will not get any better 
...I do wish you get some peace of mind - I find Yoga/meditation incredibly helpful in keeping me sane (at times !!!)
anyway hugs to you and anybody out there reading this

Sarah xx


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

hi laine and sarah
Thankyou for your thoughtful replies..I know my experiences haven't been so difficult as yours i can only begin to imagine what you have been through. Even though my time has been shorter it looks as if we are at the same crossroads...
I am sure that you have thoughts everyday that this decison to end tx has been put upon you. To be honest i always believed in hope and never thought that i wouln't have my own child one day. ( I suppose we must still believe in hope).
Goodluck in whatever you do and i hope that there will be a smoother path for you both in the future.
Thankyou once again..
love astridxxx
p.s. we are going to do one for the road, for our piece of mind that we did everything possible...


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Astrid

Yep you are right I do have thoughts about things everyday.

I am thrilled to hear that you are going to have one more try. Will pray that it works for you and follow your progress all the way.

Laine x


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

hi sweets
thankyou for your kind message, i was very touched..It was so thoughtful of you..
Thanks girls for your kind input. its so nice to know that people understand and care.
All the best to everyone.
love astridxx


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