# Funny things our children say



## Jules11

Just has to post this,  made me laugh so much.

DD and I were playing a nice game,  sitting facing each other, gently stroking each others hands, face etc.  I said to DD,  "you are wonderful, I love you so much"  she said " thank you mummy,  I love the dog so much".  

She makes me laugh every day and things are improving lots.

Jules xx


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## -x-Lolly-x-

wonderful


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## AoC

MWaaahahahhahhaaaaaa!!!!


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## crazyspaniel

Love it!   
Xx


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## Wyxie

Great when they say things like that.  

Wyxling is always coming out with awful comments in a completely innocent way.

She once announced full volume in M & S "Mummy, look, dat big lady" and when I didn't respond instantly she corrected herself with "big, no, not big, dat huge lady".  She has announced the colour of my knickers in every public toilet in the town, and occasionally pointed out they have holes in.  She's pulled tampons out my bag and cheerfully told people "dat, up Mummy's bum".  At one stage having cottoned on that this wasn't OK, although not entirely why, she started picking up any random object and announcing "this, up Mummy's bum" which made shopping trips a nightmare. 

My husband once told her in the most innocent of contexts, that ladies have boobies and men don't.  She wandered round pointing at people and saying "boobies, yes, lady" or "boobies, no, man" when we were out for a couple of weeks.  As I have told me husband since, it is not always that simple, and I'm pretty certain we seriously offended a larger gentleman who works in our local supermarket.  

There was also the time she found out that disabled people use wheelchairs because they can't get walk, and this really upset her (because "dat not fair"), and as usual with Wyxling if she doesn't like it she just won't accept it, and she told several people in wheelchairs to "get ooop" before I managed to stop her doing it.

I am really looking forward to going through this stage again with Bladelet!


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## skyblu

Ah Lovely Jules.

My lo today said she couldn't find her Minnie mouse purse, I asked have you looked for it.
"Yes mummy everrrrrrrry wherrrrrrrrrre, Tis not in mine bedroom, not tunder bed, not in toy box, not in puppies bed and not town oilet(toilet)!!!!" Don't ask.
Anyway a few hrs later I found it in the laundry basket, I said "look ****** Mummy has found your purse" she came running up to me saying "Oh mummy tank you" and walked away then she came up to me again gave me the biggest hug and kiss and said "tank you mummy for pinding mine purse, you my best mummy, tove(love) you".

When she says things like this it just melts my heart and I am so grateful to have such a lovey and loving little girl. These times are so so precious.

Skyblu.xxx


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## AoC

I get opposites.  Yesterday was, "You GO AWAY.  I NOT TALK TO YOU EVER EVER EVER AGAIN!"  The other day, I was called in to the bedroom by Daddy who asked Bug to tell me what he'd just said to Daddy.  "You are da best mummy in the whole wide world."

I choose to believe the second one most.


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## peacelily

Keep 'em coming   


Getting ready for the school run yesterday, I picked up an armful of bags etc and went out to the car, first asking DS to stop his sister from coming out too. When I get back to the kitchen, she is crying and DS is cuddling her (well, more of a wrestling hold!) and he said, "Mummy. When we go to school tomorrow I think you should put children in the car first, and load the other stuff, last, because the other stuff won't cry at being left behind" He's quite right, of course   


Peacelily xx


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## JoJo7

"Up mummy's bum". Hahahahahahahhahahaaha that totally cheered up my day  thank you for sharing 

Jojo xx


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## MummyElf

peacelily said:


> Keep 'em coming
> 
> Getting ready for the school run yesterday, I picked up an armful of bags etc and went out to the car, first asking DS to stop his sister from coming out too. When I get back to the kitchen, she is crying and DS is cuddling her (well, more of a wrestling hold!) and he said, "Mummy. When we go to school tomorrow I think you should put children in the car first, and load the other stuff, last, because the other stuff won't cry at being left behind" He's quite right, of course
> 
> Peacelily xx


Love it - so very true! Kids tend to set us straight!


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## E3021

Absolutely loving this thread, really cheered me up yesterday  

Today's genius was proper offence when affectionately called a 'poppet' by grandad:
"I'm not a poppet, I'm a little girl!"


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Bubba is poorly. I said to her mummy sorry darling I have given you my germs.  We are in car an hour or so later and she says mummy why did you give me your worms!! Took me a while to realise she meant germs


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## Arrows

I'd been trying to get LO to said those three wonderful words 'I love you' for a while and the moment finally arrived.
He had watch an episode of his favouite show 'Raa Raa the Noisy Lion' and it had finished. I tried to distract him with his toys and book. 
'What a mess! Shall we tidy them up? Where do your books go? Can you put your balls in the ball pit?' (he loves to help). He puts away a couple of balls then comes over to where I'm kneeling on the floor tidying up books and hugs me from behind snuggling into my neck and says ever so cutely and quietly 'huva you mummy. More Raa Raa??'

My first I love you and it's to try and emotionally blackmail me!


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## -x-Lolly-x-

Bet it worked though   Precious little man


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## Poppets Mammy

This thread is magic  

Poppet once shouted in her sleep once "Mammy is my tea ready yet" Haha she often talks in her sleep. 

She took offence to 'come on sleepy bones, let's get you to bed' tonight and responded with "no me sleepy bones, just tired legs" haha. 

She had a tummy bug at the weekend and was quite bemused by the term as 'how bugs in my tummy', later on she was shouting while sitting on the toilet 'get out of me you bugs' bless!

She has been telling people for a few weeks that she's going to be putting knickers on the Christmas tree soon. A silly thing she's picked up from nursery I assumed. Then in the shop the other day she squealed 'look Mammy, Cwistmass knickers' while pointing at a box of crackers. Ahhhh - the penny dropped!! 

When she first came home she couldn't pronounce one of our dogs names, it came out bas**rd  

While on the bus one time asked loudly 'why dat lady no arms, is she poorly?' after shhhhhing her 'me Shhhhh why?'  

More recently she's been saying silly things she's picked up from nursery, pumps and poops are hilarious apparently. She sometimes tries to same Kacky head but it's not exactly what she says. We are trying not to make too much of it as don't want her to realise the word she's actually saying is an non PC word   hoping that passes soon and she doesn't say it in public - awkward!

If she has a big poo she shivers and says 'ooooh me get a shock'  

I also get the 'Noooo, you go away, leave me alone, no talk to you' or if I remove something from her I've started getting 'that's not nice, you naughty, no snatch!' 

But I also get 'Oooooh me love you Mammy, foeveeeer and eveeeer in the world' or 'Mammy you my bestest friend' 😍 love her so much 

She comes out with the funniest things, as do all kids, they are so innocently rude.


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## Jules11

Love it when they pronounce things wrong and it sounds rude,

DD says truck and it sounds like cock.  She shouted in the toy aisle in Tescos "daddy,  a big cock"  

When DS was little he couldn't say hippopotamus he said tittimotomos, shortened this to tittieoes,  he shouted at the zoo I want to see the titties.


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## Poppets Mammy

Jules my friends little boy says f**k instead of truck - hahaha


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## Arrows

This thread is really making me smile! Lolly, no -I didn't give in as I'd already said no more and I always try to stick to what I say. Gorgeous though. Today he told me he loved me just because he wanted to. Made my day!

He's got a bad habit of hitting at the moment especially when cross and it's really hard to deal with as very little works. Last week he hit me again and when asked 'what do you think you are doing?!' he looked me in the eye and responded 'mummy smack'. Ummm, glad SS didn't hear that one! 
Today he was sat down on a chair to eat a small tub of little crackers. He got up whilst my cousin was skyping me and gave me a cheeky grin. I said 'XXX what's mummy gonna say?' ' 'it down mummy.' whilst patting the seat. He then plonked himself down and sat on the floor instead of the chair and giggled at me because he'd thought he was so clever following instructions his own way!


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## AoC

We went to see Father Christmas at the weekend.  "What do you want for Christmas, little man?"  "EVERYTHING, peez!"  Then he ran across and threw himself into my arms.  

I already got my 'everything peez'.  :')


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## Anjelissa

Lol  AoC,

Nothing wrong with hedging your bets hey? 
I thought our little man was 'going for it' when he answered 'a red car and a blue computer (ipad) please , but I think yours just topped that 

Times sure have changed since I was 4 years old  

Anj x

Just to add a funny one of my own, I was tidying up the mountain of cars and car track in our lounge (or rather rebuilding it for him as it had all come apart) and I had the audacity of placing a plane on the track!  
Little man _ordered_ me to move it as apparently 'planes don't go on car tracks Mummy!' 
I replied for him to do it (I had now moved into the kitchen and he was right next to the track) 
His reply?...................
'I know I'm not your slave Mummy but you have to move it, as you put it there!'  
I think some of the funniest things are when they throw things we've said back at us and in the right context.


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## Poppets Mammy

Anjelissa - yes it's funny when they repeat things back to us but also a little frustrating at times.

Our more recent example of that is when ever poppet isn't getting something she wants/not getting her own way/being told off she often tells us we aren't being nice or are being naughty. More recently that has turned into 'Santa is watching you all the time Mammy/Daddy' followed by a stern look   xx


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## skyblu

My dh went away for the night with the boys and had a very boozy night.
As always the next day he was very hungover.(he very rarely drinks). At supper time we were all sitting at the table when dh said "oh I can't eat anymore, I'm sorry" when lo turned round and said " no daddy you eat all of it no waste pood, it costs pennies. No leave table and no pudding". 
Daddy stayed on the table until lo finished and went for a bath, after the bath he had left the table, "daddy id you teat all the dinner" where he replied "Yes I did", she gave him a look and walked to the food waste bin looked inside and "daaaady you put dinner in bin, Zac(dog) woold have that". She rolled her eyes looked at me and said on the top of her voice, "naughty daddy"

You got to love them. 

Skyblu.xx


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## E3021

Brilliant - I loved that story Skyblu, what a little character you've got!  

Last time my DH had a hangover the girls told everyone "Daddy sick, daddy watch football" - first time he's put Sky Sports on in a long time obviously   

They don't tell me off yet, but they do reprimand each other and it's funny hearing my phrases in their baby voices - "Don't do that peese xxxx now" and "naughty step pees xxxx now"


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## thespouses

Our little boy also has an unfortunate pronunciation at the moment, with "coat" coming out "cock".

But we are Mimi and Diddy so it is very cute really! And granny is Gaga (which we are making sure we tell everyone!)


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## MummyAuntieKatie

These are great!

BB says 'cock' for clock and One Car sounds very rude if you catch my drift (w*nker!) and fork is unfortunately too close to f*ck.  Also, for some reason Soft Play has become Floor Play which sounds just like he's saying 'foreplay'!  Nightmare.  But also very cute.

It's also a scream when the phone rings because now he says 'Oh Sake!'… How often must I have said 'for goodness sake' when I've been interrupted?!


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## AoC

LOL!  MAK!  We get that.  We also get a muttered contraction of my, "Ah, for goodness sake!" which becomes something that sounds very much like the f word!  Argh!


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## Anjelissa

Lmao, I've just had to read some of the above out to dh as it sounds just like our little man!

We get clock (minus the 'L' as well). I had to warn pre-school one day as he had been watching Mr.Tumble in London on tv one morning and he was pretending to be Big Ben, 'Mummy, I have a big clock on my head' (minus the 'L' )
I was in the kitchen and it took me a while to realise what he was actually saying!  

We're also getting 'For goodies sake!'  atm, it must be a very popular 'Mummy and Daddy saying' around pre-schoolers! lol 

Anj x


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## Wyxie

When Bladelet started tugging the TV off the stand this morning and then scampered off to pull the Christmas tree over, Wyxling stood there hands on hips and said "Little rascal, you driving me round bend today."  No idea where she got that from.


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## FlyingCat

Sorry to jump in, but wanted to share one of my DD's little gems.

At about 18 months old she was playing with her toy winnie the pooh, and DH pointed to it and said "Pooh bear". She looked at her dad, turned it upside down, gave its bum a big sniff, looked back at DH quizically and said "no?"

Possibly you had to be there but her little confused face was a picture!


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## AoC

Genius, FlyingCat!  LOL!


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## aaa is a MUMMY

We have had a few this week.

Bubba was a real monkey Monday evening and hit me. Daddy says say sorry to Mummy. Total silence.  Little while later at bedtime she says mummy I lost that word I can't say it. What word darling? The one I won't say!!

Talking about xmas. Last year she freaked out about father Christmas and daddy said its ok darling daddy will sort him out!! She came up to us with a xmas card and said look daddy sort santa out. I don't like him he gave me ducks last year. Yeap he did bath ducks were from santa at garden centre. 

Today her and daddy playing. She turns round to dh and says that is it daddy I have had enough now, you not listening to me go and sit on the spot you very naughty.

Just off to bed with a new book and she says wait mummy I can't see I haven't got my glasses on yet. (Me first thing in the morning) off we go to bed and bubba wearing her heart shamed sunglasses!!


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## skyblu

It has been one of those days today, where she says something and you want to laugh but can't and one incident where my heart stopped.

This morning, taking out the multi grain hoops for breakfast a box of frosties fall out all over the floor when madam shouts(and I mean shouts) "OH FOR SAKE MUMMY WHAT A MESS"
I'm always saying for god sake, so know what she meant.

The heart stopper, we were getting ready to go out when I went for a last minute wee.
Lo had taken the safety plug thing out of the plug in the hall and decided to put the car keys in it  I shouted NO ****** You NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER DO THAT AGAIN, Do that again and you will get badly hurt and mummy and daddy will be very sad as you will be very very poorly. She said she was sorry and "mine never never never ever do it gen" 
Went to pick up nannie, nannie didn't put her seat belt on straight away and our car bleeps when you don't wear it when lo said "Nannie, never never never ever do at gen, naughty nannie .

AS we were getting into the car in the car park in town we saw our SW, we were talking away and all of sudden a little voice piped up and said "OI mine talking now" 

This evening we went to the school/nursery Christmas fare and Santa was there. We were cueing up when I asked "are you excited to see Santa" , "yes mummy" when we went into the grotto she screamed and shouted "no,no, scary no like it" Santa asked if she wanted a present to which she cried " Yes Peessee" crying the whole time and then kept saying "good girl, good girl, good girl, good girl" The poor child was beside her self.
When we came home she said to dh "no like panta" - "Why not", "dis huge with iskers and big belly, mine scared, no like daddy, mine sleeping en panta omes ismas day  

To say we have had an eventful day is understatement, put my god she does make me laugh.

Skyblu.xxx


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## Wyxie

Oh dear!  Poor little thing.

Wyxling was terrified by the Easter Bunny when he visited her playgroup this year - adults in full animal costumes are quite scary to very little people!

Two days later, my husband and I spent an age leaving a foil covered mini chocolate egg trail round our house from Wyxling's bedroom door down the stairs round the front room and ending up at a big chocolate egg in the middle of the room.  She was so suspicious about it at first that she was refusing to come out her bedroom and sitting with a big sulk saying "no, Wyxling no like big bunny", until we unwrapped just a teeny bit of silver foil and she realised what was inside.  She then grabbed the available bowl and had a very serious trot around the house picking it all up before arriving at her giant chocolate egg.

The next time we went to playgroup she sat in the back room (normally used for baby changing) for almost an hour, refusing to play, and determinedly waiting for the big bunny to come back again.  Presumably so she could check his pockets and make sure he hadn't forgotten to leave anything.


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## Dreams do come true

Love this!!!!

My DS keeps saying mummy bread, **dd** bread...he means Dress!!!!

I read him a story the other day about rabbits and now he insists on calling me mummy wabbit! 

We were in the supermarket today and someone had Tourette's, dd and DS kept shouting OI for about 20 minutes....very loud. Of course they're too young to understand what the sound was.

DS's new word is: Patton (pardon!) and we get it every time something is said to him, very cute!


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## katie c

skyblu said:


> This morning, taking out the multi grain hoops for breakfast a box of frosties fall out all over the floor when madam shouts(and I mean shouts) "OH FOR SAKE MUMMY WHAT A MESS"
> I'm always saying *for god sake*, so know what she meant.


sure you are 

master c doesn't have a huge amount of actual words but his babbling is ace. his latest is shouting something that sounds like 'happy hour happy hour!' hope he doesn't say that when social services comes round


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## Poppets Mammy

Well we went to meet the main man in the red suit yesterday 🎅 while sitting on big cushions around Santa and his elves Poppet decides to announce to the full group 'Santa, know what? My cat died!'   cue stunned silence and some sympathetic Awwwws Santa replies 'Oh that's very sad my dear' - Poppet confirms 'Yeah my cat poorly and died, same my rabbit, poorly and died - both DEAD!!' I could of cried for her. Santa just didn't know what to say next and just said he was sorry to hear that and moved the conversation on.   xx


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## Wyxie

I am really having to watch what I say around Wyxing atm, because her speech has improved so much.  I dropped something (very bloody heavy) on my foot last week and said oh crap, which tbh was pretty mild considering the left half of my little toenail is now gone, and Wyxling has been copying the whole scene (including dropping a variety of toys on her foot) and then saying "oh crap" and getting her toys to kiss her foot better.  

Fortunately, Wyxling is never here when Bladelet's SW visits... 

She did have my husband in stitches this morning when she told Bladelet "you being right pain in bum!"


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## E3021

Love that one Wyxie!

Was very relieved and amused yesterday when at a large family gathering big sister said to little sister "Don't start now xxxx please!" Could have been much worse, really nice in a way to hear my phrases coming out in their conversations!!


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## gettina

Aw poor little poppet -(and poor santa!)

Loving all these!


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## jaxwee

DD's response when daddy told her the presents on the bed (for him) came from Santa: "no mummy got in shop"

Busted by a two year old!!


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Not necessarily funny but super sweet
Our niece is expecting twins have been trying to get bubba to talk to the bump and already be her special cousins. Bubba has just sat there singing twinkle twinkle little star she looked at me afterwards and said ah they my cousins mummy and a silly giggle.


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