# Surrogacy General Chat



## poppins

Hi,
I wasn't sure if there was a post for those who are expecting a baby through Surrogacy?

Our lovely Surrogate is 13 weeks and 5 days pregnant with our precious baby. It is Host Surrogacy.

We were expecting twins but sadly we found out we lost twin 1 at our last scan which was done at 12 weeks and 3 days, we were told that the baby stopped growing about a day before 9 weeks? Everything was fine at 6.2 weeks and 8.4 weeks so it was a shock for us all.
We were told that the body will absorb the other sac etc? If not it will come away at the birth? We hope there is no risk as the Midwife said there is a slight chance the baby could come slightly earlier? But told us its nothing to worry about at this stage we will know more at the scan possibly?
Our baby was a good size and on track though, so after many tears and worries we are now staying positive for this one.   

It would be good to chat to any others who are expecting through Surrogacy.   

Poppins x


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## pharmchick

Congrats about the pregnancy! Not sure how the body would handle the other sac... Maybe you could post that question in the "ask a midwife" section?
Our surrogate mum is 17w plus today (see signature below). Is your surrogate mother in the UK?


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## nostalgicsam

Poppins, I had a friend who this happened to and the other sac was re-absorbed by the body, the remaining baby arrived just 3 days b4 due date so I hope and pray all will be ok for you guys x

think this thread is a gr8 idea btw 
x


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## poppins

Hi,

Pharmchick, congratulations to you too. Yes our Surrogate is in the uk, is yours? thank you for the advcie on asking a midwife online I didn't think of that. Your babies are a good size! 

Sam, Hi!!! I hope the body does absorb the other sac etc? We may have another scan around 17 weeks if we can fit it in just to see if its still there? Not sure i can wait until 20 weeks?
Do you still keep in touch with your surrogate?

Marta said she can feel the baby moving a lot more now, especially when she lies flat! 

Its 14 weeks and 5 days, so fingers still crossed.
Poppins x


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## pharmchick

Poppins, our lovely surro mum is in the USA. How often do you get to see your surro mum? How did you guys meet; is she a friend?


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## poppins

Hi Pharmchick,

We met through a Surrogacy organisation online, and got chatting for months from back in January, now we have become friends for sure! She is lovely but then anyone who chooses to be a surrogate is pretty special!

I've seen her quite a few times as we went through ivf together so had lots of appointments together, then every scan so i guess its roughly once a month? She lives a 2 hour drive away so its not too bad.

How did you meet your Surrogate? Have you met her much too?

Poppins x


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## pharmchick

Hi Poppins

That's nice that you've gotten to know your surro mum so well. We were matched with our surro mum via an agency in the USA. She came over to Europe for 2 weeks to have the IVF procedure and that's when we spend lots of time together. We chat online at least every other day. We are even trying to organise a skype call during her 20 weeks scan which is next week, so that we can have the opportunity to see our babies!


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## Stretch

Hey Poppins

Sorry stalker alert    

I just wanted to reassure you that as heartbreaking as it is unfortunately losing one twin before 10 weeks is more common than it should be. As you will see from my signature it happened to me and also 3 others on my birth thread. But I can confirm that at 20 weeks the other sac was barely visable and that by 30 weeks it had been completely absorbed. As you can see the other one came slighly early and is lining up to be the next grand national winner   

Keep up the pma hun xx


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## poppins

Hi,
Pharmchick, That will be lovely if you can organise a skype connection for the 20 week scan! Best of luck with that.

Mac cook, Hi!!!! Its so nice to be stalked by you! I hope you are well. thank you for the message it does help so much to be reassured, thank you. 

We should find this week from the midwife if she can organise a scan for around 17 weeks? If not we will pay for one to be reassured i think? I'm hoping my Mum & possibly my dad too can come to the next scan, they would both love to meet our lovely Surrogate Marta and she doesn't mind them coming at all, she's fab! I haven't told my Mum & Dad just yet in case they wont be allowed?

I have a horrid cold, its that time of year!   

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Poppins xx


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## *Vino*

Hiya..

Firstly congratulations!!!   

I was just browsing here too & thought i'd share my story. I too had twins on my last cycle. All ok at 6 wk scan & at 8k scan we had lost 1    The sac got smaller & smaller at each scan & was reabsorbed by 16 weeks, no trace at all.
The remaining twin is now 2.5yrs old causing havoc in my lounge as i type    he was born at 38+5 so not early really as your deemed full term at 37 weeks.

All the best honey, i will follow your amazing journey xxx


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## happilymatched

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I cannot imagine how it felt to lose your twin but prayers for your singleton.
We are 14 weeks +1 with our surrogate so very close in time to you. We are a traditional match.

Congrats to all your other lovely ladies, we are all going to become mummy's and after 20 years that is a wonderful thing to be able to say: )


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## poppins

Hi,
Vino, Thank you very much for taking the time to reply and explain your previous situation as well, it does make me realise just how common it is to sadly loose a twin? Its nice to see you now have a healthy happy son, and by the look of your ticker a tiny bubber too! Congratulations to you too!   

happilymatched. Thank you. Your not far behind at all! Congratulations to you as well, thats greta to see you too will become a Mummy and after so many years too. Best of luck. Do you have a lot of contact with your Surrogate?   

Marta is now being closely watched for her iron as its very low? Poor her I do really feel for her as its made the sickness bad again now? I hope she can enjoy a meal as before very soon.  

Poppins x


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## *Vino*

Poppins - I also struggle with low iron (without pregnancy) I was on 4 tablets a day in my last pregnancy & managed to keep it floating around the 10-11 mark, which for me is very good    at one point (not pregnancy) i was 4   
One tip.....if she does have to have tablets there are 2 main ones, ferrous sulphate & ferrous fumerate. Apparently the fumerate ones are kinder to the stomach but i disagree they never did me any good, i was always better on the sulphate ones & always got my level up much better when on these. So if she does go down that route & one lot doesn't agree ask to try the other sort    

Hope things are well xx


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## poppins

Hi,

Vino, thanks for the advcie I'll pass it on, she's on Iron liquid? I'm not sure if that makes a difference to a type?

We have a our 20 week scan on Monday!!! Baby will be 20 weeks and 3 days! We just hope s/he hides their "bits" as we want a surprise!!!!   

Its speeding up a bit, and starting to feel a little more real now! I'm just praying everything measures up ok at this scan.

Poppins x


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## alwayshope

Hello everyone,

I was so happy to see this thread! We are expecting twins through our wonderful surrogate. We have just had our 12 weeks scan and all seems to be well. DH and I are so thrilled!

I am so hoping to share the rest of our journey with others in a similar situation. Are there many IPs out there expecting babies at the moment? I would love to chat...

BW

Alwayshope


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## lily17

Hello all

Our surrogate is 8 weeks pregnant this week,  we are delighted! We just hope everything stays on track

Lily xx


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## poppins

Hi,
Sorry I've not been on here for a while!
AH, Congratulations and best of luck! Its exciting stuff!

Lily, Congratulations and all the best to you too!

Our 20 week 3 day scan went well! We have a livley bubba in there! Our poor Surrogate is getting sore kidneys and is being ckecked often, baby is transverse and kicking the kidneys lots? Also she still has sickness.

We're now 24 weeks and 5 days! Time is ticking by quickly now! We might get the Nursery done end of Jan!!! Then it will feel even more real!
Poppins x


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## alwayshope

Hi everyone

Congratulations to Poppins and Lily also. We are nearly 16 weeks and we are counting every day, hoping and praying all is well. Poppins, our surrogate also has a lot of sickness and I feel really bad for her. I was hoping it would subside in the 2nd trimester. 

Waiting for the 20 week scan now and it really seems to be dragging. I feel I just need to know that all is well with the babies. I wonder if that worry with ever stop. Probably not...

Anyway, Happy New Year to you all and may this year bring success to us all.

BW

AH


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## poppins

Hi 
Happy New Year to everyone!!!

AH, Best of luck to you too! I think after the 20 week scan things do start to feel a little more real and excited! You don't have long to wait although I totally know you are counting the days away as I still do now!   

I also feel so bad for our surrogate with the sickness it isn't as bad as it was in the first trimester but she still gets it often.

Poor Marta (our surrogate) fainted a couple of times with low sugar levels, her blood pressure is fine, they said it was due to lack of food where she had been so sick that day as our cheeky baby was sitting upwards and pushing on her diaphragm lots. I hope she starts to feel better soon she's really been through it?

Poppins x


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## Gemmah

Hey everyone
Congrats on all the good news!  Was wondering how you all met your surrogate mums?
Gemma


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## nostalgicsam

Happy New Year to you too Poppins, poor Marta I do hope the sickness gets the hint and goes soon ! It's going quite quickly now ;-)

Hello & Welcome Gemma, various places, you might wanna read a post I made here : http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=274766.msg4737043#msg4737043

Sam


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## poppins

Hi 
Sam, happy New Year to you and your family too! Thank you.

Gemma, I've PM'd you!!! But like Sam said try the link for a start.

Poppins x


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## nostalgicsam

congrats Samantha to you and your IP's


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## lily17

Hi Gemmah

I met my surrogate on http://www.surrogatefinder.com/ 

Lily x

/links


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## SamanthaB

Thank you nostalgicsam. They are obviously over the moon! 9 days tomorrow until scan! Xx


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## nostalgicsam

I loved 12 week scan was the best one ! How's your pregnancy so far ?


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## SamanthaB

Its been ok. Apart from the sickness. Worse this time to when I had my 2. Thanks. How was yours? X


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## nostalgicsam

hope sickness goes soon, that's the thing isn't it each pregnancy is different so hard to judge what each will be like b ased on previous ones, AFM LOL our surrogates pregnancy was not easy with twins LOL I have never been pregnant sadly


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## SamanthaB

Sorry nostalgicsam. I'm on my phone and doesn't show me any info like that! X


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## nostalgicsam

Hey no worries at all  I have 2 beautiful miracles


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## lily17

Samantha B, we have our scans on the same day! 18th Jan! Our surro Julia lives 300 miles north of us in Scotland, we are travelling up to see the scan, its supposed to be at 12 weeks, but she will be 14 weeks by the time we have it. We havent had an early scan or anything. Our surro is Polish and lives so far away its difficult to arrange anything because of communication issues and distance.
it will be nice to see baby for first time, fingers crossed all is ok
lily x


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## LouGhevaert

Hi Lily

Many congratulations - I really hope the pregnancy goes well.

Do think about the legal side too. You'll need a parental order to obtain legal parental rights for your child after the birth and you'd really benefit from a specialist Will too to help protect your child legally and financially. The legal criteria for a parental order is fairly stringent and you'll need to take care over payments to your surrogate and check you meet the rest of the criteria. It's also important to ensure your surrogate gives birth in the UK and doesn't return home to Poland for the birth - as this could raise all sorts of issues on the immigration front. Ideally, she should remain in the UK until you have obtained your parental order, to prevent your application becoming more legally complex as well (which is something to watch).

Do check out the following for more information http://www.porterdodsonfertility.com/surrogacy-law/ and get in touch if you want to discuss these issues in more detail.

Best of luck

Louisa


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## SamanthaB

Lily17. Good luck with your scan! X


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## lily17

Hi Louise

thanks for the info- - will keep you posted!

Lily x


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## alwayshope

All the best with your scan Lily! 

Best wishes
AH


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## sopical

Hi. I hope its not too soon to introduce myself to this thread! We are nearly 9 weeks pregnant with the help of our fantastic surrogate. I cant believe I am writing this (still). I guess it takes a while to really sink in. I recognise some of the names on here from my ARGC days! Obviously things have nt worked out for me to carry our baby. We had 7 embryos frozen and waiting for their chance of life and we just did nt know what to do for them. We were so lucky to have been chosen by Jill our surrogate and are now preg with twins!! I have read, and i am sorry but I have forgotten your name (but will learn who you all are), about the lady with the vanishing twin (I was very sad to read your news). I have since read up on this phenomena and it appears to be quite a common thing to happen. Ahhhhhhhh. I guess we won t know until the next scan if both (or any) of our babies are still growing. But for now I will assume with all my heart that they are still twins.   


I hope its ok to join you all. Its nice to have people who understand just what we are going through.


Love Jan X


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## SamanthaB

Congrats Jan x


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## alwayshope

Hi Sopical

Welcome and congratulations! It does take a while for the news to sink in - actually it still hasn´t really sunk in with us. I am with you on the wishful waiting for scans to take place, just to know that all is well and they are still there. All the best with your 12 week scan. 

BW

AH


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## lily17

Hi Jan

Welcome!

Our surro is now 12 weeks , so we are hopeful !
Its all very exciting- there are a few mothers in waiting on here now! Hurray!!  
Lily


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## TeamD

Hi all, congratulations to all you mummies to be! It's wonderful to see successful surrogacy stories  I am currently 2 days away from egg collection! I have 12 follicles, very nervous, our last cycle we had only poor quality embies and our surrogate had a miscarriage at 9 weeks  
I really hope I too will soon be chatting with you about our pregnancy with our tummymummy 
Take care
TeamD
Xx


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## alwayshope

Hi TeamD

All the best with your cycle - it is a nerve-wracking time. Keep us posted on how you get on. Sending positive thoughts to you..

BW

AH


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## TeamD

Thanks AH! Will do


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## sopical

Hi guys, thanks you for your warm welcomes.  


Hi TeamD, I hope you have a successful cycle this time round. Such an emotional roller coaster for us all!! I ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you. and am looking forward to hearing your about your journey. 


AFM, I still feel like this is nt real. I guess Im having a bit of a down day. I keep thinking silly thoughts and its hard to keep really positive sometimes. Its just so weird having someone else pregnant with my baby (s)! I think I am a bit jealous and feel quite removed from it all at the moment. Has anyone else felt like this? I know I don t have the right to feel this way.


I am seeing my surrogate this week and we are going to the first midwife appointment together. Im sure that I will feel more connected after that. And it will feel more real again. I do definitely feel an enormous amount of gratitude and amazement that we are lucky to have this wonderful opportunity, I really do, so Im not sure why I am feeling a bit hard done by today!!!! Just thought I would share this feeling...In fact I feel better having vented it! 


Thanks for listening.
X


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## TeamD

Hi sopical,
It's so lovely that you are expecting twins, how exciting! Best of luck for your 12 week scan  
When our surrogate was pregnant the first time I too found it uncomfortable that it wasn't me but she kept in contact lots by text which helped as I knew how she was doing. I guess all we can do is think about the outcome, we will hopefully be parents and have a wonderful story to tell about human kind and science! Plus we can drink wine whilst pregnant! 
It's a tough journey but keep an eye on all the positives  oh and you can feel how you want, you are so strong doing this, it's not something 'easy' it takes strength and determination to get this far and be able to make these choices.
Stay strong and keep positive 
Hugs xx


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## sopical

Hi Thanks so much TeamD. I felt much better for reading your post. So, I have had a good day, feeling very positive and excited about seeing my surrogate tomo.   


Hope all is well with everyone else.


Sopical x


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## lily17

Hi Sopical

Oh its only natural you will feel a bit odd, it will be a mixture of anger, upset, jealousy, and heartache, but also exitement all mixed up, because its something you wanted but were unable to have, and you are bound to feel all sorts of emotions, hopefully you will feel ok once pregnancy is well established and baby is seen on scan

Lily XX


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## alwayshope

Hi everyone,

I agree there are loads of a huge range of positive and negative emotions that come about as being IPs and having a surrogate carrying our babies. I guess also though that there are probably quite a few hormonal emotions going on for our surrogate too! It is a situation I would never have thought I would be in if you asked me at the beginning of this journey 7 years ago. Still, it is a fortunate solution to the heartache we have all been through to get to this stage and it will all be worth it - so i´m told 

I also find that having more regular contact with our surrogate helps me to know what she is going through too and makes me feel a bit more part of things. I find that if I ask questions I always get answers about her experience and it helps me to get to know her too. 

It´s 18 weeks today for us and that 20 week 6 day scan seems all very far away! I am so impatient...

I was wondering also whether your family and friends know about your surrogacy journey and how people have reacted. We told our families during xmas and found a really positive reaction - if a little shocked! I was wondering also whether those parents out there that have completed their surrogacy journey have had positive or negative reactions to surrogacy? It would be great to share our experiences.

Anyway, hope all is well with you all.

BW

AH


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## TeamD

Hi all,

Just back to my hotel room from egg collection.  Feeling pretty sore but also disappointed. I had 11 follicles but he only collected 7 eggs... What happened to the other 4? Is it normal to have some empty follicles? Is it a bad sign of something?  I'm worried it was because I used a shorter needle for the hcg shot so am wondering if it's my fault 

After 4 months of down regulation I will be devastated if we fail again 

I guess I just have to keep thinking it only takes 1!

Always hope, it would be grea to hear how people have reacted to surrogacy. It makes me nervous. Only our parents and very close friends know at the moment and they are all very supportive 

Hope you are all having a good day...

TeamD xx


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## luaparaz

Hi
Team D - Don't worry about things with EC. I had 11 follicles and only 6 eggs collected - 5 were ICSI'd and 4 fertilised  Yes it does only take 1 for success. 
I was told in advance that not all follicles contain eggs so this didn't come as quite a shock to me.

As for what people may think - if it's right for you then that's what matters. I know a couple of people who have used surrogates with success. I think once the child is old enough being honest and open helps.  I'm a teacher and when talking about growing up this has often arisen. One announced it in class and had always been explained to about how mummy wasn't pregnant with her but just took things in her stride. I mean when it comes to it you're mummy and daddy and you love your child unconditionally no matter what the circumstances of their birth.

Anyone who doesn't like what you do isn't worth listening to. They obviously have never been in your situation.
I'm one of the lucky ones who has had a gorgeous baby boy myself thanks to Leeds but was considering looking into surrogacy had this not been successful  
Keeping fingers crossed for your future journey.
Believe me it WILL be worth it in the end.

Sorry if I've waffled 
Lol x


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## TeamD

Awww your reply was loverly, feeling much better now, thank you so much  

It lovely to hear positive stories, a real help thank you 

And DO NOT apologise for waffling, your words were fabulous!

Congrats on your little miracle, whoop to Leeds!

Xxxx


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## ♥JJ1♥

Team D  good luck with all your eggs hope that you have good fertilisation tonight! Like it has been said not all follicles have eggs in them, so hopefully you have the magnificent 7 there!



L x


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## TeamD

Hi all, well of the 7 eggs, 5 were icsi'd and this morning we have 4 embryos. Little disappointed but as luaparaz proves, 4 is enough, it only takes one  I guess he won't take them to blasts though, not sure how many he'll suggest transferring at day 3? Urghh I hate waiting and wondering! 

Hope you are all well 

Hi L! How you doing?

TeamD
Xx


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## luaparaz

Hi
TeamD that's great news  I had 1 8cell, 2 7cell and 1 4cell at day 3. My 1 8cell was implanted as was under 35 at the time. Don't know if it's the same with surrogacy but if under 35 it's 1 then 2 if over! I had ET at day 3 so fingers crossed for you  Guess it depends on the age of your surrogate and number of cells embryo has split into 
Keep updating - am keeping fingers and everything crossed that you continue to follow in my footsteps 
Xx


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## sopical

Hi Lily and Allwayshope. Thank you for your reassuring words, it helps so much to be able to vent some of this stuff!! 


TeamD. WOW, congratulations on your embryos. I know you don t feel like 4 is very many for all you have been through. But like everyone including you have said, it only takes one! I am afraid to say I have two very good examples from my own experiences that show this. Firstly, my first ever IVF cycle I got 30 eggs, 17 blasts!Not one implanted. My cycle buddy struggled althrough her treatment eventually she produced 3 eggs. 1 fertilised and guess what? Yep, preg, has a 6 year old daughter! Another time i ovulated before EC.....result NO EGGS!!! Ahhhhhhh. So I hope I have helped you see how fantastic your 4 precious embryos are. I can t wait to hear how they are doing!! Does this mean you are having a fresh cycle with your surrogate or do the embryos have to be frozen? I know they make you freeze sperm but am not sure on the embryo rules? 


I am feeling great today. Midwife appointment was really special! We are well and truly in the system now. I just can t wait for the 12 week scan!!!!




Love Jan X


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## pensacolamom

Hi!  I am a surrogate from the U.S. helping a couple in 
Germany.  I am currently 9DP 5TD.  I am cramping, alot and wasn't sure if that is good or not.  This is my first surrogacy but the intended couples second.  Their first 2 transfers were BFN and the 3rd took but m/c very soon after.  I am 31 and they transfered 2 embryo's at day 5 blasts.  I read someone's article that they tested BFP on 7 days waiting, I did a HPT on day 6 and got BFN.  Is it too soon or do you think it didn't take?  I am extremely nervous.  The intended couple deserve a child so badly and have been through so much themselves.  I now they must be thinking negative thoughts but at least they keep trying!  I had a frozen embryo transfer.  Any thoughts if this transfer didn't work or is there still time?
Thank you guys for helping!


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## alwayshope

Hi pensacolamom 

I think it is very difficult to say if this is a successful cycle or not. I do know that  our surrogate had cramping at about the stage you are at and she is now 18 weeks pregnant with twins. I really hope the same is for you, so hang in there. I don´t want to give false hope either but just wanted to say that your symptoms don´t always lead to negative outcomes 

BW

AH


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## luaparaz

Hi Pensacolamom
I had cramping around day 9 after transfer and successfully had a baby boy this year. My test was 15days after ET which clinic advised - not before this as levels not reliable. Suffered period type pains for few days and know others who were same so don't give up yet. My advise would be wait until day 15 then test again. Keep hopeful - sending hugs xx 

Hope everyone else doing ok

Lol x


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## pensacolamom

Thank you Alwayshope and Luaparaz!!

You both give me great hope and I can only pray I am as blessed as you are!  I feel so much pressure since the Intended couple are relying on me for this pregnany t happen.  I know there will be no hard feelings if anything goes wrong, but  sincerely do not want t dissapoint tem. 

Congratulations to the both of you!


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## alwayshope

Hi TeamD

I think that´s a good result!  Hope all goes well for transfer and keep positive - I know it´s not easy. 

BW
AH


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## TeamD

Hi all just a quick update as its midnight here and need sleep! (just picked up our wonderful surrogate and hubby from airport!)  Personals tomorrow! 

Sooooo, the dr has taken us by surprise. We still have 4 embies at day 2 but he is only really confident in 3 of them. But what has surprised us is that he wants to take them to blasts?! Now I'm a little worried about this as thought with only 3 they would do a day 3 transfer? It seems a risk to take them through to blasts? But then he is a top embryologist so I'm kinda thinking he totally knows his stuff and who on earth am I to question his decisions!! I'm just scared! Urghh, wish I had a crystal ball!! Anyone else gone to blasts with only 3??

Anyway, he is going to check on them in the morning and make a final decision then... 

Nite nite all 
TeamD
Xx


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## ♥JJ1♥

Team D I really hope your embryos are doing well in the morning!!! 
L x


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## pensacolamom

Well...I took a hpt last night 9dp5dt and it was BFN.    I think I'll just wait until my BETA on Monday the 23rd.  I'm feeling extremely low.  I know it is still too early to check via hpt, but some women on here have done so and have gotten BFP.  Highly disappointed, confused, sad, lonely...a full boat of emotions.  I guess my BETA could still be positive...thinking happy thoughts!


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## SamanthaB

pensacolamom.  I've seen a few people on here getting negatives with hpts. But the bloods have come back positive. Don't give up just yet! Xx


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## TeamD

Hi all, well our dr is confident in 3 of our embies and has confirmed 5 day transfer on Monday! Nerve racking!! I guess he's the expert! I just hope the 3 of them hang in there and continue doing as well as poss :-/ He also said that they are much better quality than last time so looks like the 4 month down regulation was worth it  just pleeeease let them hang in there 

Thank you all for your messages, it's lovely to have support  Jan, your examples were very special, thank you and sorry your about your 1st ivf story  but hey, your looking good now!!  we are indeed doing a fresh cycle with our surrogate, we picked her up yesterday and she is ready to rock n roll! We are at a clinic in Cyprus and as long as the surrogate is happy with a fresh cycle there is no need here to do a sperm freeze like the uk. We've all obv had to do every test under the sun though. Feel much happier with a completely fresh cycle. 

Hope everyone else is ok. Pensacolamom, please don't think it's all over I too have read lots of hpts have been negative but the bloods have been positive, there is still hope! Keep us posted 

Nite nite
TeamD 
Xx


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## lily17

Can anyone tell me why they insist on freezing sperm for 6 months in the UK prior to insemination via surrogacy
What the hell is that all about?
I cannot think of one logical reason why this would be of benefit to anyone?- It appears to be a delaying tactic- and just an 'obstical' please correct me if I am wrong

Lily xx


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## Allen

lily17 said:


> Can anyone tell me why they insist on freezing sperm for 6 months in the UK prior to insemination via surrogacy


Because of quarantine. The same thing is in Russia.


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## ♥JJ1♥

LILY it is the same in the UK if you are using a known donor despite both of wanting to conceive a child and having done months of home insems! It is for HIV purposes.  they say it is **** requirement!!!  yet with donor eggs there is no freezing and defrosting them!

Crazy X


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## lily17

I still dont get it, viruses survive freezing, so I cant imagine just freezing for 6 months would eradicate any virus, it does seem very difficult,  Allen- we dint have to wait 6 months in Russia!!
I think its designed to put obsticles in our way!!
Lily x


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## ♥JJ1♥

Not it isn't that the virus gets killed in the freezing with the sperm they take bloods for infection screen when the sperm is quarantined and then they take them 6 months later before the release the sperm for use and if they are still negative the sperm is released.

Lx


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## Stubborn

Haven't got long...

I just want to say

GO TEAMD!!


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## pensacolamom

Thank you everyone soooo much!  I will definitely keep you all informed, my BETA is tomorrow morning.  I'm both excited and scared, normal I guess!  I'm still cramping, no surprise there, but very hopeful until proved otherwise!  

Take Care!


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## TeamD

Whoop! we had two top class blasts left this morning! We are very happy that the 4 month down reg helped improved our quality so much  suddenly all those nights of insomnia, the hot flushes and weight gain don't feel so bad. So both blasts were transferred into our wonderful tummymummy  Dr thinks 80% chance of singleton, 30% chance of twins. Pleeeeeease let us have a positive on February 2nd  

Rushing off now but will write personals later 

Hugs!

TeamD 
Xx


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## luaparaz

That's wonderful news  Will be keeping everything crossed for you xx
Looking forward to 2nd Feb xx


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## alwayshope

That´s fandabbydosey news TeamD, you must be thrilled. Fingers crossed and prayers to a positive outcome. Keep us posted.

BW
AH


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## sopical

Good luck TeamD, your cheerleaders are all behind you, goooooooo embies!!!!!     


Hope everyone else is doing well.


AFM, we have had a little scare. Jill (surro) had a little bleed on fri evening. She is not worried at all (this has happened once before in a different pregnancy). We have a scan booked for Wednesday to see what is happening. Everything I read (and I am talking a lot of reading!!) on the internet seems to say that we are probably ok and that it can be very common for women to experience spotting in the first 12 weeks. DH has gone into a total tail spin thinking its all over. Bless him, we have been through quite a bit so i can t blame him for feeling this way. It is a bit draining thinking the worse. I m more of a positive until proven otherwise kind of person, but he has me convinced now too. Jill is still feeling really sick and head achey and really is nt worried at all, and I am hoping all the signs and her instincts are proven to be right on Wednesday morning.  OHHHHH MAN, this is gonna be a long journey!!!!!!!!!!


I ll report back on Wednesday, hopefully with good news.


Just gonna open a bottle of wine and try not to over think it anymore.   


Jan X


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Team D wonderful news good luck for the 2ww now!!

Jan_ I hope that the scan goes ok 
L


----------



## alwayshope

Hi everyone, hope all is well..

Sopical, the same happened to us during the first trimester with our surrogate. She bled for about 1-2 weeks. It scared us a lot too and we thought the worst. I, like you, read loads on the internet and found out it was quite normal at this stage of pregnancy, especially with twins. The bleeding stopped after 12 weeks and fingers crossed all is well now. We find out in a few weeks at the 20 week scan. Hope all goes well with your scan on Wednesday.

BW

AH


----------



## pensacolamom

Hi ladies!  This morning I had my beta and the results came back negative.  
I want to thank everyone with your prayers and we are trying again ASAP.
Thank you all so much for your encouragement!  Hopefully will be posting good news soon!

All my love...pensacolamom


----------



## luaparaz

Firstly Pensacolamom - so sorry to hear of your negative Good luck for next ET 
Keep us updated 

Jan - I also bled at 10 weeks.Was put on bed rest and had scan and thankfully all was OK.
I then had small bleeds/spotting on and off until week 12.Was told many people have this.
Still worried sick about it each and every time it happened but all I can say is try not to worry
too much  

Hope everyone else doing ok
Xx


----------



## sopical

Thank you so much for the wonderful words of encouragement and examples of positivity. I know what will be will be, but having this support makes me feel more hopeful, therefore its easier to live minute by minute without the feeling of doom until we have our scan and see if all is ok. 


Many heart filled thanks.


Jan X


----------



## TeamD

Hi girls!

Firstly thank you so much for all your best wishes, support and cheerleaders lol! We have had a wonderful few days with our surrogate and hubby although the transfer was only yesterday morning and we've done a lot of walking around siteseeing which makes me nervous but there doesn't seem any consistency in the 'rules' of bed rest vs activity 

Pensacolamom, so sorry to hear of your bfn  Hoping that the next try will be a success. Have your couple specific embryo issues or is it the carrying which is a problem? 

Jan, sorry to hear about your scare. Like you and others have said, it can be quite common at this stage so hopefully all is well  please let us know how you get in tomorrow  

Take care

TeamD
Xx


----------



## sopical

Hi Everyone, just a quickie to report all seems to be well with the "twins". Both bubs were wriggling about without a care in the world! The Doctors could nt explain the bleed and said it must be just one of those things.  Roll on the 7th so that we can see them again.


(a very happy) Jan X


----------



## pensacolamom

Here's the scoop on my intended parents.  DH is 57 and DW is 41.  We are using donor eggs from a 20 year old and DH sperm.  DW has tried about 5 times to get pg and she m/c'd every time.  They went on to their 1st surrogate, had 3 transfers, 2 never took and one took but m/c'd very early.  The endo told them to try another uterus, that's where I come in.  I have had 2 successful pg's and no m/c's.  I don't know what to think at this point.  The endo already called in my meds and he did not change them or the dosage.  I am on estradiol and crinone.  He said I looked great, but for some reason, these blasts aren't sticking.  I have heard alot about acupuncture, maybe this is something I need to bring up with the endo?  Any ideas?


----------



## Caz

pensacolamom, acupuncture is a possible and I know it certainly helped me (although I did not get pg on that cycle I tried it). However, I wonder if there has been any genetic testing on either the DH's or the embryos before implantation (i.e. PDG) to rule out genetic reasons for m/c or failure to stick. It does seem rather like there could be some issue there given a history of 6 m/c and 3 BFNs in 3 different women?  I am assuming the egg donor has had basic karyotyping too so ruling out genetic issues on that side. Also, does she have proven fertility (e.g. live births from her own eggs). 
I think at this point I would very much be looking at the embryos in more detail. 

Hope this helps.

C~x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

What a wonderful thing that you are doing for your IP's- how did you meet them?

Have they ever questions the DH's sperm as men over 40 have more issues with sperm as well.  On the mens thread there is discussion about a man in his 60's and sperm. Just a thought

L


----------



## TeamD

Hi all,

Jan!!!!! Greeeeattt! Sooooo happy to read your post, wonderful  xxxx 

TeamD
Xx


----------



## sopical

Hi Guys.......All a bit quiet here, how is everyone?


Hope all is well. How are things TeamD? 


Jan X


----------



## pensacolamom

I'm not sure if they have done any genetic testing?  It just really sounded odd to me  that she has been trying to have a baby for 6 years now, with her own eggs and a donor, and nothing is happening.  I'm very discouraged so I know they are devastated and probably at their whits end.  The endo wants me to go through this month with my natural cycle and then we are doing another transfer in March.  I know they have tested the eggs for any STD's and harmful situations like that and now that I think about it, they did do a genetic test for the egg and sperm!
We will see what March brings in store for us.  Thank you all who have been with me during all of this!  I greatly appreciate everything!


----------



## lily17

hiya pensacolamum!

Have they thought about fragmentation of the sperm?
Sometimes if the man is a little older, the sperm can be fragmented, and cause miscarriages.
If the sperm isnt tested, often the woman thinks its a problem with her, when all the time its the sperm.
The thing is with sperm frag, the sperm look normal under the microscope and can only be picked up as fragmented under a special laser beam which shows up the DNA inside.
Its slighlty costly (about £700- £1000) in the UK, but worth checking if there has been unexplained Miscarriage with 2 different women.
http://malereproduction.com/male-infertility-2/scsa/
good luck

Lily x

/links


----------



## lily17

P.S Fragmented sperm is easily treated with special diet and vits etc so the problem can be fixed!- just check DH age- its highly likely to be frag sperm at his age! ( no offense intended!!)
Lily x


----------



## TeamD

Results just in... BFN, devestated


----------



## sopical

Oh no TeamD. So sorry to read your news. Oh man. Its just not fair is it?  Really feeling it for you hun.






 Jan X


----------



## alwayshope

So sorry to hear about your BFN, I know how devastating that is. My thoughts are with you all.  

BW

AH


----------



## luaparaz

Am so sorry to hear your news TeamD   Here's sending  
Thoughts with you all. Xx


----------



## Diane72

Hello All,


Haven't posted on this board yet but just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your news Team D. 


Pensacolomum, I agree with Lily, there are two more advanced sperm tests you can do sperm fragmentation and aneuploidy worth testing. 


Sending hugs to Poppins and all the others waiting for their bubbas to come to there arms


Diane x


----------



## TP.C

TeamD - So sorry to read your news  Thinking of you and your surro, I know how hard it hits everyone involved when it doesn't work. Sending hugs xx


----------



## alwayshope

Hi there, hope everyone is well.

Just wanted to share that on Tuesday we had the 20 week scan and all well with the babies. We found out we are having two girls!!!! Let´s pray it all continues.

BW

AHx


----------



## poppins

Hi,

Sorry i started this and have been so bad at keeping up!
I'vehad a busy few weeks lately.

Our lovely Surrogate Marta has been poorly with high Blood Pressure, and also sore kidneys from a kidney infection over the last 3/4 weeks and the strain of the pregnancy was causing them to struggle and work properly so she ended up in hospital twice lately to be put on a drip? She's really been through it we do feel for her. The kidneys are improving slightly which is good, she has a consultation with a specialist next week, and although the Blood pressure isn't brilliant its better than it was, she's still being checked regularly though to keep on track with it, she's been visited daily by the midwife, but now needs to come by  Blood pressure machine to monitor it herself? We're hoping she's ok, the 3rd trimester is tough.

Well I'm very excited today as I started expressing as I've been on hormones for 3 months to induce lactation so that I can breast feed and I needed to start 6-8 weeks before baby is due and beacuse we've had a few worries with baby coming early I've started about 9 weeks before.
AND I HAVE MILK ALREADY!!!! I was told it could take a couple of days a week, maybe 2 or maybe longer. Also that to start it could be clear then go opaque but its milk already! I dont have much at all from the 2 expressings so far this morning I have half an oz!!!!! It will be freezable but I wont freeze todays, partly because I didn't buy bags! being convinced it wouldn't work just yet! and also I've had lots of coffee today and yesterday so I need to get it out of my system! I'm hoping the odd de caff will be ok? And I'll have weekends off until baby comes so I can enjoy a drink or too!    But I'm hoping to produce more soon so that I have a freezer full!

Hi Diane, lovely to see you on here, and the lovely picture of your sweet precious one!    

AH, Fantastic news two little sisters how lovely!   

Team D, I'm so sorry to hear you had a negative. sending a (((hug))) its very unfair.

I hope you are all ok.

Poppins x


----------



## Diane72

Hi Poppins,


I hope Marta gets better soon, so sorry to hear she has been poorly. My sister got gestational diabetes even though she'd never had it with her own and it makes you feel awful as there is nothing you can do to make it better. Sending     




I'm impressed at your milk production! I was worried about all the millions of medicines I'd been on to prevent miscarriages and ended up opting for the bottle.


Not long now! Sending good luck hugs!


Diane x


----------



## poppins

Hi diane,

Thank you, it is weird how some people have such a tough time in pregnancy. I take it your sister is ok now?

The milk thing has surpriesed me, I didn't think it would work, well not that quick anyway! I know what you mean about meds, I was so unhappy to take more hormones I really u'mmed and a'rrred? and to be honest I'll probably do bottle too at least for that last feed at night!

Poppins x


----------



## TeamD

Hello there everyone!

Poppins, wow go your boobs!!  

AH, twin girls, oh that is soooo lovely, you are very fortunate, congratulations babe 

Thank you all for your hugs and kind words.  We are pretty devestated, it was looking so hopeful with 2 top quality blasts, it just doesn't seem fair   We are probable doing another round in April, not sure how many more times we can do this financially or emotionally, how and where do you draw that line?!  Its so tiring and draining but I desperately want to be a mummy, I would give my limbs 

Hope you are all well, IPs, Surrogates and beans  

Positivity dust to all!

TeamD
xx


----------



## alwayshope

Hi everyone,

So lovely to hear from you teamD. A BFN is so devastating and it really is difficult to say when do you stop. I know i couldn´t, even when I thought I should - I´m glad we didn´t now!!    Keep us posted about how  it your cycle goes in April, we are so routing for you!

Poppins, wow, I didn´t think you could get such good results from taking the hormones. I had decided not to take the hormones to produce milk, although after hearing your experience maybe I will look into it. Do you get your GP to prescribe for you?

Hope all is well

BW

AHx


----------



## TeamD

Thanks AH, and thank you for your support, I feel a bit like that, I'm a fighter at heart, wouldn't be here now if I wasn't after our last 4.5 years of poop, so I guess I'll just keep fighting, for now!  What is your story, you don't have a signature, do you mind me asking?

Good luck if you go down the milk production route, I think it would be a nice bonding process but I believe it can be pretty painful, sounds like Poppins is doing a great job of it though!! 

Love 
TeamD
xx


----------



## Diane72

Hello All,


TeamD it is devastating, I always said to myself don't think too far ahead and after each miscarriage I had just focused on trying to get back to a 'structured life' to get me through the first few weeks. I've posted a bit of my journey on the surrogacy diaries and you'll see there a poem that kept me going through all this heartache (and debt !!!). I had so many times where it all felt so hopeless and here I am 7 years later, 8 rounds of treatment and 7 miscarriages on and finally got here but I know how hard it is when you don't know if you can ever change your fate (you just need a crystal ball and then you know it is all worth it) and the debt is mounting. Sending you lots of hugs-we are here for you   


Poppins, yes Debz is fine now the gestational diabetes goes once you've given birth. There is a theory that the placental hormones cause the insulin resistance. As AH says I had heard there wasn't much success with the hormonal treatment so I am really impressed and if I manage to have a sibling for our little girl I would definitely try it next time round.


AH, sending you lots of positive vibes      


Diane x


----------



## nevergiveup1

Hi Ladies,

Please can I join you.

I have just found out that my surrogate is pregnant. So we are only 5 weeks today. 18months ago my surrogate gave birth to our other DD, so we have been very blessed and only hope that everything will go smoothly.

We have had 4 betas and they seem to be increasing nicely. Scan is next week saturday. I worry a lot as I am now over 40 and really hoping to make it to the 12 week mark.

Betas so far

12dpo 75
15dpo 231
18dpo 710
21dpo 3100

Surrogacy is a wonderful journey and I would feel so priviledged to go through it again.

I am very close to my surromom, we met through our doctor. Initially DH and I were based in the UK, DH is Irish and british and I am british and south african. But we found our surrogate through a doctor in SA and with all the complicated laws in Britian regarding surrogacy abroad, we just moved here permanently once surromom had 1st baby. In SA we have a court order , so when the baby arrives then it will be put into our names straight away.

Since moving here though, it was initially going to just be for a few years while trying for a sibling, but I think we are really liking it here and dont think we will be in too much of a rush to go back to London. But who knows??

How is everyone else getting on??


----------



## alwayshope

Hi everyone,

Welcome nevergiveup1, that´s fantastic news that your surrogate is pregnant again and reasurring for you that you can follow the exact same route in SA. The first trimester is a worrying time isn´t it, but you are nearly half way through already, keep us posted.

We are 23 weeks now and I am finding it difficult to sleep at nights with excitement! Praying as we all are that things continue.

Hope everyone is well.

BW

AHx


----------



## Diane72

Nevergiveup, Wonderful news  you have jumped the first hurdle, which is important. I know how stressful the first 12 weeks can be, sending hugs and lots of good luck for your scan.

AH, sending lots of positive vibes to you too!    

Diane x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Nevergiveup congratulations that is fantastic news x


----------



## sopical

Congratulations Nevergiveup. I bet you are so excited. I know what you mean about the first 12 weeks. All looks brill so far though.   


Hope everyone else is doing well. My surro has felt the babies move!! How exciting is that? She thinks she can tell whether its twin one or twin two moving! These are babies 9 and 10 for her, so I tend to think she knows what she is talking about!


Jan X


----------



## nevergiveup1

Sopical, baby 9 and 10, she must really like being pregnant! So exciting to feel them move. Has she had twins before?

JJ  

Diane, yes I am very stresseD, cannot  wait to get over this time. But yes so far everything seems v good.

always hope, it is such a wonderful journey and i feel so priviledged to go through this again.
I loved the pregnancy with my DD, it was so special, extra extra special!!


----------



## sopical

Hi Guys. I am starting to think about breast feeding the babies. If I am totally honest, I would like to be able to induce lactation without the use of medication. I have bought myself an electric breast pump from amazon (awaiting its arrival!) and hoping someone might have some  inspiring information for me?? 


Nevergiveup.....These are Jill's first twins. She has always said she would like to experience twins!   


Jan X


----------



## poppins

Hi,

Alwayshope, Sorry i'm rubbish at getting on here lately. Yes my GP prescribed the meds for me it isn't common that they will as one of them is quite expensive but luckily I picked a doctor who knows what I've been through all these years and she didn't hesitate so i was lucky. I found Lenore who is a Canandian Breast Feeding Consutant via some great advice on here. her website is asklenore this link may work; www.asklenore.info/breastfeeding/abindex.shtml She will advice on which protocol is best for you if you send her a message. I took a copy of the Protocol to my Doctors and left her with the copy for her to see it. 

Jan, I read in this link (www.surrogacy.com/medres/article/lac.html) that you could just use a pump to induce laction the quote was as follows; 


> Both prolactin, the milk-making hormone, and oxytocin, the milk-releasing hormone, are produced in response to nipple stimulation. While there are now several regimens which use hormone therapy to assist in bringing in milk, many women have induced lactation with only mechanical stimulation. This consists of breast massage, nipple manipulation, and sucking -- either by a baby or a hospital grade electric breast pump. Some adopting mothers rent a breast pump in anticipation of the infant; other mothers simply put the adopted infant to breast.


The best thing would be to google to get more info, I also have oatbran for breakfast at leats 3 times a week which is supposed to help milk production, its not too bad I do add sugar or dollop's of jam to it though!!!  

Nevergiveup, Congrats to you and the best of luck for you too.  

This expressing is tough going! Its so much of a tie, it takes 20-30 mins then I have another 2 and a hlaf hours to get bits done before the next go! and if I'm out I have to allow time to get back and sorted for it so its even less time! I can spread one session out or shorten another but its basically every 3 hours until bed time, soon i might have to start it through the night too?  but its worth it as now I'm freezing some ( I only have 4oz 2 seperate lots of 2oz's!!!) I got more on my first go, then it was much less, but now its very slowly building up again, I can freeze half an oz a day now not much but not far off of freezing an oz hopefully! It will add up once bubba is here as apparently they much better than any breast pump! It may not be that succesful but its worth a try. I will most probably use formula too as I doublt I will produce that much?

Diane....I keep forgetting to post your card! I'm stuck in today waiting for a delivery, typical its an all day one! I haven't forgot though!!!! 

I hope you are all ok.  
Poppins xx

/links


----------



## nevergiveup1

poppins, you are very dedicated! Our last surro baby came 4 weeks early, so we didnt even get a chance and baby was here. We just bottlefed and so this time, I am just going with that too. I admire your dedication! That takes a lot of time!!

sopical - good luck with the breastfeeding too. I think a twin pregnancy is so much more stressfull that one!! And hard to relax I think. In a normal pregnancy, after 13 weeks you maybe safe but with twins it is such a worry!!

We had a scan today and surromom is 6w6d pregnant with twins, both had heartbeats and were measuring on time, one was one day behind and the other right on the day. I hope they both stay!!      I am an oldie and am 41 in 3 weeks, so very very surprised that my eggs still have some good ones left for twins to happen!! I think the % chance is very low with my old eggs!! Soo excited and surprised!!  

alwayshope, diane and JJ


----------



## poppins

Hi,

Nevergiveup, Thanks, I think I must be    for doing this expressing! my alarm went off this morning and I really moaned and groaned about having to get up!!! A BIG CONRATULATIONS TO YOU! Fantastic news and all the best for your twins.       

Hi to everyone else,
Diane I finally posted your card!!! And a little parcel for your precious one too!!!!

Poppins x


----------



## sopical

Hi. Thanks Poppins. I realised you had answered my feeding questions on the other thread. I really need to know when i should start the pumping! I can t seemed to find these time frames anywhere. What I don t want is to start too early and have loads of milk with nothing to do with it for ages (too optimistic I know   ) or too start to late and not have enough!!! Sounds like you are doing well with your quest. I guess it will get you in a good routine for when the bubba arrives. 


Nevergiveup.......I know its a bit scary with the twins thing and yes it is more of a worry. But I think once I had got over vanishing twin syndrome and saw them both at the 12 weeks scan looking so good. I can honestly say I have chilled quite a bit. So don t panic, you will calm down (a bit!). I was convinced that we would loose one of them, only because i could nt believe we could be lucky enough to have twins.  We are now 17 weeks. We saw them on a scan today and they are happily kicking about. Twin 2 's bottom is practically in twin 1 's face!! thought that was funny and wonder if that is symbolic of things to come!!    Obviously, we are not home and dry yet, but I am committed to enjoying this journey we are on, thinking positively and taking it one precious day at a time. 


Hope everyone else is doing well wherever you are on your journeys.


Jan X


----------



## Diane72

Hello All,


Poppins, got the super-cute outfit in the post-so lovely!!! Thank you!    Hope the expressing is going OK. Not long now xxxx


Sopical, congratulations on your scan-loved the image of a bottom in face!


Nevergiveup, wonderful news on the scan,     for your bubbas


AH, how are you?


Team D and everyone else sending hugs   


AFM, really looking forward to all the court stuff being finished and starting to think I really should consider whether I should be doing another round and freezing the embies as I am 40 in November and don't want to leave it too late as we would really like a second child to complete our family if possible. Hmmmm, will need to think about it while still on mat. leave.


Hugs,


Diane x


----------



## nevergiveup1

Diane, my AK was born to surromom when I was 39 - 6 months before I turned 40.
It was our first round with a surrogate. We knew we were going to try for a sibling and I was determined to try again before my 40th birthday. So we did a round one month before my 40th birthday but it was a chemical.

(Well the stats are better for 39, than for 40     If we had done the cycle a month later my eggs would have been downhill by then    )

It has taken us 3 fresh rounds to get this BFP and it is one month before I turn 41   so it is all possible. We had a chemical, then a bfp that turned bfn, and now 2 heartbeats!!

I also considered freezing but soooo understand how you feel. I was sooo sooo worried about the stats being so low for over 40s. I it such a burdon feeling that clock ticking away!! But sometimes if you achieve a bfp easily with a surromom at 39, I think you may have a little time before you dry up completely     and you have eliminated your problems and know it is possible IYCWIM??


----------



## poppins

Hi,

Diane, Hi I'm glad you got the outfit ok! You welcome I can't wait to use Ewan the sheep!!! I've also been thinking wether to freeze for another go in the near future? 

Jan, I'm not sure if you've found any more info on when to start if you want to induce lactation? but as an idea it took me a few weeks to get half an oz a day I would freeze this in little sterilsed pots over 4 days then put them into a sterilsed bag for milk date it from the first half an oz, and state on the bag it has 2oz. You can freeze milk for upto 3 months so if you start at least 4 months before you'd be ok? I'm not sure how long it would take for the milk to come through without meds? Maybe start before this? Sorry i forget how long you have left? 

Nevergive up. I hope you are doing ok, when is the next scan?

Well the night time expressing starts from this week, maybe even tonight at 3am! Eeek! It will be good practice for me!

I'm getting about an oz and a quater now! soon it will be an oz and a half! Who knows I might make it to 2 oz by the time bubba is here! I have about 16/17 oz in the freezer now! so even if I use a few oz's of it for the last feed at night for a while its something!   

I hope you are all enjoying the sunshine!

Poppins x


----------



## olinaiti

Hi Guys! 
I'm new here but would love join you people that are going through what we are... Our baby is due via c- section in the US on the 23.4. This is actually the first time I've been on a board to do with surrogacy . Should have done it sooner. I've only  been talking with other woman that are carrying their own children. We have a little 7y boy I carried myself so should not be such a shock to have a baby . Its just that this pregnancy has been so different that it really hasn't sinked in at all although our house is full of baby stuff and am trying to frantically prepare but not getting as much done as last time due to looking after my son and being sick with a cold on top of my existing ilness . Is anyone else doing surrogacy in another country ? Although we're  quite prepared and getting things done with our lawyer as quick as we can I still feel like we really don't know what 's going to happen until we get to the US and have to deal with it all. Before the big trip we're planning to travel to my home country for Easter and my mom's birthday too so can't even really pack for the US . To be honest I can't get exited at all just stressed. I guess there's the fear of things not working out too.


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Olinati congratulations and I hope that everything goes well for the birth of your baby. Do you mind sharing how you arrange your us surrogacy as I'm exploring the us as an option x


----------



## olinaiti

JJ1,Nice to see I am not the only one up in the middle of the night. Being the school holidays for my son I just can't seem to get to bed since I don't have to get up like normal . I think it's the mounting anxiety keeping me awake. Doesn't help that on a board I've been on there's women having babies early. That better not happen . We're not ready to go anywhere although could manage I guess if we  had to.
A bit of background since I don't have a history on my messages. For us its now been 4 1/2 y since we started trying for a second child after having a quick conception and normal pregnancy with our son right after our wedding. He was 2 1/2y when we started trying. To my surprise success on the first go but then the nightmare started. I MC (missed) at 6w, tried again another 6 times and mc them all. The furthest I got was 9w a couple of years ago. At that point had been seeing doctors , doing tests no problems found. Ended up being treated with steroids by a specialist which was the biggest mistake of my life since they damaged my health. Anyway after all this (Mc number 10, 3 on the steroids) I had had enough and looked into adoption and surrogacy. We decided to go with surrogacy in the US. Basically I did all my research on the internet. Have never met or talked to anyone who's done it ( other than on the phone to a lady who was our reference for the surrogacy agency). First thing we did was to go see an English lawyer specialising in the international surrogacy law that we found I think through the surrogacy UK website . Then I found an agency on the internet that looked good but after we talked to them and had an impartial US lawyer look at the contract we decided we weren't happy with them . Then we found another agency on line. We talked with them and had the lawyer look at the contract again and then ended up signing up with them . After that we had to make our letters to surrogates ,pictures etc, form filling and after that the search began. it took about 7 months from signing up with them to finding our surrogate. We then had her screened etc they need to do and signed another contract with her and went to meet her in the US and did a bunch of medical, legal etc stuff. By then had to had found our IVF clinic in England a Us one that was happy to work with it. Did our first cycle in the Nov/DEC 2010 and froze those emb. Surrogate had the transfer in Jan 2011 and conceived but ended up mc possible ectopic. Had to then wait a few months due to ectopic because of FDA rules and then the labs being closed in the summer. Did the second cycle ( first part in the UK ,retrieval in the US) end of last summer and success!!! Our baby girl finally coming soon Feel like it's been a never ending hellish marathon and that's probably why its hard for me to be exited since can't get my head around it finally happening. The legal stuff after seems like a pain in the ass and a bit unsure how long it'll take to get back and then the whole parental order stuff here. Trying to take one step at a time like we have until now and think that we'll get there in the end. Basically it's doable but quite complicated and a lot of paperwork and travelling never mind physically and emotionally exhausting and unbelievably expensive(!!!!!)but I would have done anything to get to the end result. I recommend of doing your research and not cutting any corners! Even though we have now hopefully succeeded on the second cycle its taken us over 2y from starting our journey. The timeline we were given was average 15-18m . Good luck on your journey if that's what you decide to do !


----------



## Diane72

Hello All,


Poppins not long now!!!


Olinaiti, congratulations on your upcoming new baby. I also did all the immune treatments for 7 of my 8 rounds of IVF and they did nothing to stop me miscarrying each time. The unknown is quite stressful, even when doing it all in this country. We thought we were having our final court hearing last week and it turned out that the A101 a form that we didn't know about hadn't been done by the parental order reporter so it all got delayed but I'm sure we'll get there in the end. It is a case of 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' and we'll come up swimming at the end if you just keep going. Good luck with the US and all the legal stuff. Do let us know how it all goes.


JJ1, good luck with the explorations


Nevergiveup, AH and everyone-hello!   


AFM, we're on our first holiday away with our little girl (nearly 4 months). The weather is perfect in Cornwall! 


Diane x


----------



## olinaiti

Thanks Diane! I'll try to remember to keep you guys updated to how things are in the next few weeks. I expect we'll be very busy , tired and stressed with a newborn and our 7y trying to get things sorted... Just want to get back here to normal life ASAP. 
In regards of the immune therapies with stereoids I wish I would have known the dangers and I would never haven taken them! They are dangerous. Basically my Addrenal glands shut down as a result and it took 9 m to find out why I was sick. Stereoids can do that to you and it's not that uncommon . I was seeing a well known miscarriage specialist and I did everything by the book. Now I'll be on medications for the rest of my life possibly and for one can't even consider the inducing breast milk production some people do.


----------



## Diane72

Olinaiti,


Sorry to hear about the steroids- I hadn't heard about that before even though I've been on them 7 times (aswell as IVIG, intralipids, LIT, clexane, progesterone etc.). Just to reassure you I was concerned about all the drugs I had been on (I was taking steroids & intralipids in the round for surrogacy as I also had embies transferred to me at the same time that ended up miscarrying in me again despite a positive result in both me and my sister). I have only used SMA gold and no breast milk and our little girl has been absolutely 'bang on' with her growth curves and as healthy as every other baby (and better then many!) and developing very well. Just wanted to reassure you!


Diane x


----------



## poppins

Hi,

Welcome Olinaiti and best of luck with the egal side of things, just take it a stage at a time like you say. 

Hi to everyone else, I hope you're enjoying this lovely weather!

I ahve house work to do again...it mounts up so quickly with two moulting cats, one of them has just had a good brush, I need to grab the other when he comes in from the garden!!!

Poppins x


----------



## olinaiti

Poppins good luck !


----------



## nevergiveup1

Hi Ladies,

olianti - hello  I also went with sma gold like Diane and our DD was as healthy as a horse!

poppins - hope you are well! Not too much cleaning    gotto play when the sun comes out!!

JJ- hello!!

Diane and always hope   

Well quick update we had a scan today and all looked good and both same size and on target to dates and looks like a boy and a girl. So very excited and still feel unreal and surreal after our journey to be pregnant with twins


----------



## halsall73

Hi All

We are very pleased to say that we have found our surro angel  and are starting to get too know ane another, in the hope of starting later in the year.

We are so very lucky to of found this wonderful couple. We are very exited but also very scared of what lies ahead. Fingers crossed for a birth next year.  

Best Wishes

Edd & Chris


----------



## SamanthaB

Edd & Chris congrats. Wish u all the best! Xx


----------



## Diane72

Hello All,


Nevergiveup that is truly wonderful news


Edd & Chris congratulations!!


Diane x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Edd and chris huge congratulations, how/where did you meet your surround angel xxx


----------



## halsall73

Hi JJ1

We got an email via the forum. It's with a ff couple, we are helping them to conceive and one of them will carry ours at the same time. We have discussed at length what we all want etc. We are seeing how we all get on first but so far so good. I know it sounds unusual but it seems a perfect way ahead, we help them with becoming parents and they help us. We will put in place all agreements etc before starting. They seem a loving couple who want their own child like we do. Being a same sex couple themselves, they understand how difficult it can all be for same sex couples.

We hope to start later in the year after their CP and after we get to know one another.

Will keep the forum posted.  

Edd.xx


----------



## halsall73

Hi again JJ1

Sorry to hear that your surro pulled out hun. I really hope you find that special person soon.


Edd.xx


----------



## Caz

Edd and Chris,  on finding a  lovely surro angel/ couple. How wonderful that you are helping each other too.  

I wish both of you (couples) loads of luck 

C~x


----------



## halsall73

Thanks Caz 

I will keep the forum up to date with our progress.  

Edd & Chris.xx


----------



## halsall73

Hi Stuart

Hope you are well. Yes the surro who will be carrying for us  has got 4 children from a previous relationship. The youngest being 5 and the oldest being 12. We are waiting until they have had their CP in October, then we will be starting around November. We are very exited but nervous at the same time. 
We all seem to want the same things so all being well it will all work out.  

I have got an appointment with my GP for next week so all being well he will refer me for tests on the NHS. We both did home tests and we both came back as a positive result, however, Chris's test came back higher than mine. I just want to double check. 

We know that it's going to be a long journey but we have been honest with one another and said that if any of us have got any issues, then we would discuss straight away.

I will keep the forum posted along the way.

Best Wishes

Edd


----------



## halsall73

Hi again Stuart.

Forgot to say that it will be a TS surrogacy.

Edd


----------



## poppins

Hi,

Edd, Best of luck to you all, that sounds great news!   

JJ1, I'm keeping it all crossed for you, that you find someone perfect, best of luck to you.     

Diane, I hope you are doing ok.   

I'm slowly going mad! I want our bubba now! 3 days until the due date this Friday! our Surrogate is discussing a posible induction date with the consultant on Friday? It cant come around quick enough now, we're ready and waiting!   

I hope you're all ok.   
Poppins x


----------



## Diane72

Hi Poppins,


What you know is it will be soon, its funny how you go from not wanting the baby to come and terrified they'll come early to really wanting it to happen. My sister was induced. Sending hugs, thinking of you. We've come along way from those ARGC forum days and you're nearly there     


Diane x


----------



## napy

Hi Poppins,
  Good luck to you and your surrogate mother!  I hope everything goes smoothly when your baby does come.  Two years ago I was going through what you are going through now.  We were on edge the whole time until she was born.  Our surrogate mother was induced as well and it took the whole day for our little girl to finally arrive.  After a long day waiting for it to happen she was suddenly here and I was nursing her within a couple hours after she was born in the hospital that night.

Best of luck to everyone!

Napy


----------



## halsall73

Good luck Poppins. The wait is nearly over.

All the best.

Edd


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Poppins Good Luck I hope that everything goes well with the birth and you finally get to meet your precious baby.
l x


----------



## Stretch

Sorry folks "Poppins" stalker alert   


Good luck hun, cant wait to hear your news xx


----------



## TeamD

Whoop! Good luck poppins! 3 days will flyyyyyyy by! How exciting, so happy for you 

Edd, sounds all very exciting, good luck 

Afm, I am back in Cyprus now for go number three here with tummy mummy. Can't believe we're back, even in same hotel room. It's a beautiful hotel and island but it's an odd feeling because obviously we didn't really want to have to come back :-/ hopefully this is our time. It's Easter here this weekend and there are decorative eggs everywhere! Hopefully a good sign lol!

Went or scan this morning, 5 days of stimms and have 12 follicles, dr seemed pleased and think he only saw 7 at this point last time so hoping we'll have more eggs this time 

Hope you are all well 

Love TeamD
Xx


----------



## Diane72

Good Luck Team D!!!! Grow follies, grow!!!      


Diane x


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## nevergiveup1

Hello everyone!!

Poppins, thinking of you and hope baby comes soon!!  

TeamD lots of luck for this cycle


----------



## sopical

Hi Guys.   


Poppins.....Hope your bubba is here soon for you. How exciting.


Good luck Team D.....Keeping everything crossed for you that this is your time.     


AFM, we are 23 weeks (nearly) with twin BOYS!! I am a little scared! For some reason I did nt think of that combination! We are delighted tho and have started shopping for blue things! Names change on a daily basis and as of today they are Alexander and William. 


Hope everyone else is ok,


Best wishes


Jan X


----------



## SamanthaB

Sopical, congrats. That's great news. Great names too! Xx


----------



## Stretch

Poppins - you are very quiet.....any news


----------



## lily17

Hi everyone havent been on here in awhile


Poppins looking forward to hearing all about birth, I know its any time now!


Samantha B I think our surro is due about the same time as yours, do you know if you are having a boy or a girl yet?
Ours is due 26th July, but surro always goes over 2 weeks so we dont expect baby until around 5th August.


Hope everyone else is ok Samantha B have you started shopping for baby stuff yet?


Lily x


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## SamanthaB

Hi Lily, that's great news about ur surro. This baby is a boy and due on 24th July. I'm not doing any shopping as I am the surrogate. I'm carrying him 4 my friends! Xx


----------



## alongtimecoming

Hello all

I havent posted on this thread before so thought it was time to say hi !

Poppins - you must be beside yourself with excitement!  Good luck !

Lily and Sopical - its so nice to see IP's who it has worked for.

Teamd - everything crossed     we wont be far behind you.  I start stimms on Monday for hopeful ET to our surro on 4.05.

Halsall - good luck on your mission !

My signature has most of our info now and we have everything crossed that we will get a BFP.  This is our first and last go with a surrogate (unless we get any frosties and could have a future FET).  My eggs havent been that special in the past so emotionally and financially we wont be able to do this again but at least we will be able to say we have done everything we can !

Good luck everyone, whatever stage of the journey you are !

xx


----------



## lily17

Hi Alongtimecoming!


Samantha B - well done what a super star you are being surro for your friends, ours is a boy too, our due dates are just a couple of days apart!- I think our surro will go over, as she has already had 4 babies, and every time she goes 2 weeks over- so we think this one will go over too. So we dont expect to be seeing baby until around 5th August. 


Are you close friends- do you feel ok about everything?


Lily x


----------



## SamanthaB

Hi Lily, yes we are good friends.  I went 2 weeks over with my last baby. Im hoping to go just a little bit early or late as its my sons birthday on the 24th July. Hope everything goes ok! xx


----------



## Diane72

Hello All,


Poppins, I'm waiting counting the minutes with you!!!


Sopical, twins wonderful!! That is truly great news!      


Samantha, you are doing a wonderful thing for your friend, I can hand on heart say our little girl has transformed my life from a life of daily tears of desperation to being thankful and tears of joy. I truly cherish every second of every moment.


Alongtimecoming, lots and lots of luck!!!!


Lily, fantastic news. August will come before you know it- enjoy shopping, it's all part of the nesting process was my excuse!!!


Hugs to everyone else,   


Diane xxx


----------



## olinaiti

Hi All! Sorry I've been quiet since first posting in March. Been busy on halfterm with my son and going to Finland for Easter . We 've got less than a week to go now to the CS in Texas. It's quite unreal that after  these 4 1/2 y we're almost there. Due to fly on this thu then mon is the DAY!!!!  
Good luck Poppins!


----------



## Diane72

Good luck Olinaiti!!!


Fly safely


Dx


----------



## olinaiti

Thanks! I'll let you guys know afterwards when she's arrived...


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Olinaiti wishing you all the Beattie the birth of LO v exciting xx


----------



## TeamD

Hello everyone!

Need to hear the latest on you all!  

Diane, did you get all your court stuff completed? Holiday good? It's so inspiring to know this CAN work 

Nevergiveup, another inspiration! I have worry spells that I'll never be a mum, I'm 37 and on our third attempt at surrogacy, it is crazy to see you have done 14 treatments! But to have twins at 41 it's such a hope for me to hold on to. Congratulations I am so so happy for you 

Sopical! Congrats girl! Twin boys, awesome! How about William and Harry!? Very royal! 

Poppins, any news? I bet you are up to your eyes in nappies with no time to come on here 

Hello Olinaiti! best of luck for Monday! Looking forward to the news! 

Hello to Lily, how you getting on? Do you get to see your surrogate and bump? 

JJ, any decisions made or progress on the US surrogacy potential? Hope you are well 

Samantha, how wonderful you are carrying for your friends, you are an amazing person, heart warming xx 

Hello Edd and Chris!

Alongtimecoming!!! Welcome!! How fab we might be on this journey together! I really wish you lots of luck, do you know all the 'things to do' to help quality like milk etc? Keep us posted and here's to us both being mummy's in 9 months time! 

Afm, had another scan yesterday, now have 8or9 follies on left and 5or6 on right! Most we've had  and he said that they are all pretty much even in size which I think is good. EC is booked for Friday, trigger shot tonight eek!

Hope you are all having a good day 

Positivity dust, baby dust n all that!  

TeamD xx


----------



## Diane72

Hi Team D,


That's a great crop of follies! Wonderful news-looking good so far!!!!


We had planned to have our final court hearing and then head to Cornwall for a week long holiday to celebrate but when we got to court we found out that the CAFCASS officer was supposed to have got a form called the A101a form signed by my sister and her husband (that we and my sister knew nothing about) so it didn't go through and all got delayed until this Friday. We headed off to Cornwall anyway though and our little girl was amazed by all the new experiences-sand and sea for a first time and fixated by the surf round the ferry. She also loved all the trees in The Eden project. While we were in Cornwall we liaised with the CAFCASS officer and my sister and her husband met with the CAFCASS person again to get the form signed so I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that the officer sent it in to court in time and that it is all there when we go to court this Friday.  The good news is it gave us another excuse to book a second celebratory trip so we're all booked up to go to The Hebrides next month to visit my Granny and visit my Dad's grave (he died unexpectedly 2 years ago just after his 60th) and also see Iona, the island that my little girl is named after.  


Hope everyone else is well, sending hugs


Diane x


----------



## TeamD

I like your style Diane lol!

Well best of luck on Friday, I will think of you whilst recovering from EC! And enjoy your second holiday! Hope Iona enjoys seeing great granny! Sorry to hear about your dad hun xx  

Let us know how you get on 
TeamD xx


----------



## nevergiveup1

team D      

Lots of Follies and they sound real good to have them similar sizes!!! Pls let this cycle be the one for you!!

I too never expected twins at 41 with my old eggs!! So there is always hope!! Dont give up, keep trying!!   

At 38 I thought I was NEVER EVER going to have a genetic baby with my DH and now we are so so lucky to have our DD and now being pregnant with 2. We were about to call it a day and stop treatment with my eggs, I had decided this was the last round, but maybe one last one at 15 at a push but that was it!! And BAM twins!!

Who Knew??

Lets hope it is your turn!!


----------



## TeamD

Hi all,
Will respond to your lovely posts tomorrow sorry but right now I'm sleepy and still a bit drugged but thought I'd let you know I got 10 eggs from our 15 follies, quite pleased but still wish there were eggs in every one, don't know why not  He also said a couple of eggs didn't look great so anxious wait for news tomorrow.  
Hope you are all well
Xx


----------



## luaparaz

Team D - so pleased to hear of your follies. Don't be disappointed it's a good amount of eggs from them. Also it seems the norm to have some that are not always up to scratch. Fingers crossed they do the biz tonight  look forward to hearing soon. 

Any news Poppins / Olinaiti? So exciting for you 

Good luck to everyone else. Fingers crossed and  ^hugme

X


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Team D - great news that you have 10 eggs, fingers crossed for the fertilisation!!!! 10 is great


----------



## Diane72

Team D,


That's a fantastic number, keeping everything crossed for fertilisation and nicely growing embies            


I believe Poppins has some good news to share but I'll let her do the honours!!!!!          




Diane x


----------



## TeamD

Hello everyone!

Diane, how was the court day on Friday? I did think of you when I was recovering  

Nevergiveup, which you certainly don't, you are an inspiration, I do feel a little like that now, being a mum seems far fetched and a dream, I wonder if it will ever happen   You give me hope! Thank you xx

Luaparaz, great to hear from you! How are you? What's the latest in your world?

Afm, of our 10 eggs, 7 were ICSI'd and we have 5 embryos now. Was hoping for more, but can't be greedy I guess, it oly takes one.   that there are 5 left tomorrow and they all are doing well, think he is going to do day 3 transfer on Monday and reckon he'll put them all back! (they not have strict rules on numbers here and he says that by late 30s the chance of more than twins in a crop of 5 is extremely rare, hope he is right!) scared!

Hope you are all well, poppins, TELL US SOME NEWS please!  

TeamD xx


----------



## Diane72

Team D,


Thanks for asking. Very frustratingly although my sister and her husband saw the CAFCASS officer a fortnight ago the officer didn't put it into the post to the court until the day before and as it wasn't there on time. After much waiting around and all efforts by the court to check it definitely hadn't arrived in there or the court along the road (including us going over there to check) or to get a faxed copy from the CAFCASS officer (but she hadn't kept a copy) it had to be delayed AGAIN    So disappointing!!!


Five embryos is more than enough-great news!!! Will PM you too.


Dx


----------



## TeamD

Wow how frustrating! I'd have thrown a tantrum in the court room lol! So when will they reschedule to?!

Well today we have learned that all 5 are progressing, 2 with no fragmentation, 2 with some fragmentation and 1 with extensive fragmentation.  He is calling at 7am tomorrow morning to tell us if he wants to transfer (day 3). Eek!

Hope you are all well.... Poppins?! Keeping us in suspense! And good luck Olinaiti for tomorrow!

TeamD xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Oo hang in their Team D


----------



## lily17

Hi everyone


we have been to see our surrogate Julia, she is now 27 weeks and bump has grown! Felt baby kick! amazing!, everything is fine, its now only 13 weeks to due date eeek!! we better start clearing the baby room out its filled with junk!!  
I know Poppins surrogate has had baby girl, I dont know all the details, but I have seen photo on another forum, she's gorgeous! Im sure they are up to eyeballs in feeding and nappying!!  
Hope everyone else is doing ok


Lily xx


----------



## Diane72

Lily,


Wonderful news about your baby-I hope 13 weeks goes by quickly, I'm sure you're counting the days!!!  


Dx


----------



## olinaiti

Hi everyone! Our baby girl Rose Isobel Aleksandra was born yesterday at 7.40 am in Texas weighing a whopping 9.4 pounds ( still looks Very cute and small to me just with chubby cheeks   ) she's doing very well and we should be leaving the hospital tomorrow. Our surrogate is also remarkably well considering she had major surgery yesterday . Saw her today and she looked just the same as before going in to the theatre. We have lots of work ahead of us to get home , already run into problems having the DNA samples taken even though we had arranged that beforehand with the hospital . We'll have to figure it out once we're released.My husband's very stressed about it all , I'm just wrapped up with the baby . Our son is loving being a big brother! He's so exited and loving to the baby . I'll update you on our journey at some point . Good luck to others!


----------



## alongtimecoming

Huge massive excited congrats Olinaiti! Enjoy! X


----------



## Diane72

Olinaiti,


Wonderful news!!!! Welcome to the world Rose!!!        


Good luck with the next steps


Diane x


----------



## olinaiti

Thanks everyone! I'm loving cuddling and kissing her  ! Still working on the sleeping at night though but she's only now allowed a bigger amount of formula so I think it'll be better if she's not so hungry ...
This is absolutely unreal to finally have her after all the nightmarish years but somehow am quickly also used to her being here and definitely get a bit of separation anxiety when not near her . I'd hold her all day long if I could !


----------



## Diane72

Cherish every moment Olinaiti. I can honestly say I enjoyed every moment of every sleepless night in those first few weeks so I know exactly what you mean about never wanting to put them down! So happy for you.   


D x


----------



## Diane72

Hello All,


Good news for me today! The court finally had all the paperwork they needed and the parental order to make my husband and I Iona's legal parents was awarded in court this morning. Now just need for all the paperwork to come through.     


Dx


----------



## halsall73

Hi Diane

Congratulations on getting your parental order for Iona, I bet you feel so happy. How long did it take for the order too be made and what was the process?

Best Wishes

Edd


----------



## Diane72

Hi Edd,

Thanks  It took about 5 months from Iona's birth to come through even though ours is a very straightforward case (biologically my egg and my husband's sperm and carried by my sister).

Re: process, you can read about the process on CAFCASS' own website .pdf]http://www.cafcass.gov.uk/pdf/Final_Parental_Order_Guidance_May2010[1].pdf

and on Natalie Gamble's site


[url=http://www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk/page/surogacy/22/#surrogacy court forms]http://www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk/page/surogacy/22/#surrogacy court forms (we visited Natalie for a consultation up front)

Essentially you apply through a C51 form, then the court will send it back to you stamped and with a C52 acknowledgement form that you need to get the surrogate (and her husband if relevant) to sign and return to court (aswell as a service notice you fill in and return) . You then have a first court hearing where the court merely assigns the parental order reporter to develop a report. in theory the parental order reporter will then visit you/your partner/baby to discuss the points in the checklist in the link above and then visit the surrogate (and where relevant their partner) to ask them questions to compile the parental order report and importantly the surrogate (and partner where relevant) need to sign an A101a form witnessed by the CAFCASS officer (our CAFCASS officer did not do this so when we turned up to the final court hearing it couldn't go ahead and then after a second visit where my sister and husband signed the form the officer did not put the form in the post on time for the 2nd rescheduled court hearing even though they had over a fortnight to do so and we only ended up having it by this 3rd final court hearing!). The paperwork should all be sent to the court by your parental order reporter and you have a final court hearing where the parental order is awarded.

Good luck with your journey!

Diane x


----------



## halsall73

Thanks for that Diane.

When we do apply, I think we will also arrange too see Nat. We are keeping our fingers crossed for a birth at the end of next year 

Thanks again.

Edd


----------



## TeamD

Wow congratulations Olinaiti !!   cherish every moment 

Congratulations Diane! Glad they got their act together finally!

Sadly our embies didn't do as well as we hoped, there was only one grade b blastocyst left yesterday and it had a cell outside its circular bit?! Pushed it out or rejected it maybe?! I was too upset to ask questions 

So, he gave us a 20-25% chance of success. Last time we had 2 grade 2 blasts with an 80% chance of success so I hardly think if we failed that we will pass this  I'm so upset I spent pretty much most of yesterday crying. It's so much time emotion pain and money for a crappy 20%  

Sorry to complain, I just feel so useless.

Hope everyone is doing well

Love TeamD xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Team D keep positive and have hope Hun everything crossed for you guys.
My friend at 46.5 yr has just got a positive test with DE when the clinic and she had no hope, so much she didn't even test at home and the Gp took 5 days to get back to her with the blood test.

Diane so pleased your order is finally through.
Xxx


----------



## Diane72

Team D, 


It's not over yet    This journey is truly horrible and the emotional roller coaster is a nightmare. I don't know if you have read the surrogacy diaries under member treatment diaries but I wrote a poem from my then unborn child which is on there that kept me going through these dark days. Stay strong we are walking with you   


Lots of love 


Diane x


----------



## olinaiti

Congrats on the parental order Diane! We still have a long road of paperwork ahead of us. So far managed to get the DNA test taken by the hospital ( had to chase it though , first they were refusing even though we'd prearranged it with them ). Signed and notarised some papers for the post birth order over the  Internet.  Mon going to see a paediatrician for a check up , tue having a routine follow up blood test at the hospital. Getting the birth-certificates by next wed. Going to start filling forms for the passport but need the birthcertificate to apply for it . Btw getting a passport photo of a newborn is pretty impossible  .we took some today that migh be exceptable but taking her to a phtoplace later for another try ... Got a bunch of more papers to fill in for the English lawyer , never ending questions... Feels like we'll never even get to the point of applying for the visa and then it's the possible long wait . Trying to concentrate on the little bundle I've finally got but the practicalities are a concern all of us living in a hotel room with no washing machine or a kitchen and eventually school and work to go to . We're hoping to move on from this city ASAP but it'll be earliest end of next week with all those appointments left in the area...
Teamd I'm sorry about your bad news ! I know what it's like to feel like its never Going to happen . I was given bad changes of any IVF to work based on my numbers . My fertility had crashed within a year and suddenly my 34 body was like an over 40 y old's . The doctor said that he didn't want to tell us we shouldn't bother but the changes weren't good . I remember being so shocked and depressed. Both cycles we only had 2 useable embs and none left over . Second try with our surrogate RESULT and here she's now !And that's after years of misscariages etc i first went through so i know the desperation. You'll get there one way or another in the end if you don't give up . It is possible ! I was ready to move on to donor eggs / sperm if needed after 3 goes .


----------



## TeamD

Hi all, hope you are all well today 

Diane, Olinaiti, thank you for your messages  I am truly grateful for the support here on FF. Olinaiti your story gives me hope, I am going to think about it everyday, thank you so much  Diane, where is your poem sorry ? Xx

Have a lovely day all xxxxx


----------



## Diane72

Hi Team D,

There is a surrogacy diaries page under members treatment diaries where we can all share our stories http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=280914.0 but I've cut and paste the poem below. Reminding myself I was doing this for my future child is what gave me the strength to get back up and carry on blow after blow. D x

'Dear Mummy'
Dear Mummy, I know you are sad today, 
I have heard you crying so many times,
I see your heart is breaking,
You have shut out the world, turned off the lights,
I know the pain you feel inside is unbearable,
Screaming at Daddy, pushing him away will not help.

God told me today, mummy is crying for my tiny baby brother,
He told me that you felt life was no longer worth living,
That you feel you can't go on, all energy gone, 
I saw you lying in bed, unable to talk, 
The Angels told me you were the saddest you have ever been,
That you just want to sleep and never wake up.

But Mummy, I am waiting here, waiting for my turn,
I need you Mummy, I need you to be strong,
God told me that I can come to you, but first Mummy needs to get better,
What about me Mummy? Won't you smile for me?
Tomorrow is a new day, will you spend some time thinking of me,
I too long to be in your arms, to be held for the first time.

Dear Mummy, promise me you will try,
I have heard what God and the Angels had to say,
I know you are sad, I know you will miss the other baby,
But please give me a chance, 
Let tomorrow be my day, the day Mummy thought of me,
I love you Mummy.


----------



## olinaiti

Diane , your poem made me well up. Sitting here with tears in my eyes and 4 day old Rose finally in my lap ...
I wish the ones that are still trying the strength to carry on


----------



## Diane72

Sending Rose lots of snuggles Olinaiti    My little baby's name is Iona *Rose *Margaret after Auntie Rose in Canada and also because my Dad always used to say my sister was like her Aunt Rose (his favourite sibling!).

D x


----------



## olinaiti

Diane ,there seems to be lots of  girls with Rose as a second name but we don't know anybody with it as the first ...(


----------



## alongtimecoming

Hi All

Poppins and Olinaiti - how you getting on??

We had ec yesterday and my one ovary produced 6 follicles and 6 eggs from them !!!!  They rang today to confirm 3 fertilised.  We are over the moon as first cycle we had none, second cycle one and then this !  They said one egg looked a little odd but it fertilised so who knows !!!!

So back tomorrow for ET to our tummy mummy - providing they have carried on doing their thang!  Cant believe we have got this far.  Feel so lucky.

Hope everyone is doing ok?

xx


----------



## Diane72

Congratulations alongtime coming-good luck with the 2ww    


D x


----------



## alongtimecoming

Thanks Diane!

Dreading the 2 ww, cant sleep already!!

Any good survival tips greatly appreciated!

X


----------



## nevergiveup1

alongtime coming! The 2ww is the worst!! Hate it!!     Excellent results with fertilisation... 3 is excellent!!
Is it a day 2 transfer!! I LOVE a day 2 transfer! Both our pregnancies, surromom fell pregnant on a day2 transfer. On on day3 transfers we had miscarriages, so I think my embies like snuggling in on day2. I am sure all embies have a preference!!   
Good luck and hope the next to weeks go real quick!!  

Diane that poem is beautiful!! and congrats on the parental order.

Olinaiti, how is all the paperwork coming on??

Team D, sometimes the embryo will latch on if the home is right and I am really hoping that yours stay! Dont focus on the stats!!
I am 41 and I think there is like a 1% chance of falling pregnant with twins on an IVF cycle with my eggs! and my surromom is pregnant with twins, so 25% is a HUGE chance!! I also think a lot has to do with the environment in the tummy too! My surromom you transfer anything and she seems to fall pregnant and I cannot get anything to grow in me!!     


Had a scan yesturday and we are back to a boy and a girl!! Unfortunately surromom has an umbilical hernia and so it has been a bit of a worry! I hate thinking she is in pain!! Today it is a bit better, so am praying it will ease off for now!! Otherwise babies were measuring 15w2d and 15w3d! very excited and feeling much more relaxed!!


----------



## TeamD

Hi All,

Alongtimecoming, 3 embies is so fab, hope today went well for you    your 2ww will be alongtimecoming too! soz couldn't resist!     Just try keep busy  I've just found out although the blood test is tomorrow the result won't b in till TUESDAY! as it bank holiday monday!! GRRRRRR!

Diane your poem is just so lovely, it a tear producer! xx

How are olanaiti and poppins and the little ones?

Nevergiveup, when you put it like that how can I go by stats lol!  Our surro had some spotting days 2 and 3 post 5dt, i am   that could have been implantation   Our tummymummy does have an excellent uterus apparently!!  As for your scan.... whooop whoooooooopdedooooop hooooooraaaahhhhh!  a boy and a girl both measuring well, you must have a BIG smile on your face        your poor surromom  That must be tough, I hate not being in control and it must get harder as things go on especially when pain is involved, its like i'd want the pain for her  give her a   from TeamD!

Hope you are all well.
Enjoy the long weekend
TeamD
xx


----------



## Diane72

Hello All,

Alongtime coming re survival tips, the advice of keeping busy was what I always did, if I could we went away for a few days to try pass the time quicker. Good luck   

Team D, I'm sending lots of good luck vibes, hang on in there   

Nevergiveup, how wonderful a boy and a girl perfect!!!! sorry to hear about the umbilical hernia, I hope it resolves  

Poppins, I hope you are managing to get some sleep?

Olinaiti, I hope all is going well with Rose

Hugs to everyone else too  

We're heading off towards the Hebridean Islands in Scotland tomorrow to visit Iona's Great Granny and of course for her to see island she is named after!

Diane x


----------



## TeamD

Hope you have a wonderful trip Diane, lots of lovely photos of Iona on Iona!

Results day here, I am at work   I have turned my phone on to airplane mode because I have agreed with our tummymummy that i'll speak to her after work so i don't have bad results to handle whilst in the office BUT if I was her, I would text instantly if it was good news therefore if I leave my phone on I will keep looking at it for good news and if I don't get a text i'll get more and more worried that its bad news!  So, solution = airplane mode! BUT its so hard knowing I could just switch it on in a couple of hours and probably know result just from that!

I am not looking forward to later, I just need something good to happen for us now, its been 6 years nearly of heartache and fighting, I can't take much more 

Sorry! Hope you are all having a wonderful day 

xx


----------



## alongtimecoming

Oh teamD!

Been thinking about you all morning!
Second solution to problem, tell work somethings come up and go home?

Will be thinking of you!

Bec xx


----------



## nevergiveup1

Team D... I agree with Bec!!    Go home, you wont do any work anyway while this is on your mind!!

So have a lovely day on the sofa whatching movies and wait for surromom to call!!!


----------



## TeamD

Oh girls I wish I could! my colleague is on holiday and without her I leave the office in a bit of a pickle, i'm too good!  Its going to be a lonnnngggg day!


----------



## nevergiveup1

Not long now Team D!!!


----------



## TeamD

So lovely that you are   for me thank you  
I feel so sick 

     

xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

teamD 
my fingers and toes are crossed for you XX


----------



## olinaiti

Good luck TeamD! 
We're all ok. Rose is doing well and eating and sleeping nicely. Actually getting some sleep . She eats twice at night and then sleeps in her buggy carrycot . We take turns to do it . Got her passport on Friday and moved to Dallas on Saturday to a nice hotel at a golf course . Got a bigger room/s so not going crazy with 4 people in the same on top of each other. Returned one car and got a bigger one for the next 3 w like hotel room. Maybe that'll be enough and we'll get to come home but I doubt it so my husband requested another 3 w unpaid leave ontop of this current time off which ends in the end of may. Unfortunately our plans of sending our son home so he could go back to school were cancelled because my motherinlaw might have a serious health problem . She had some tests and fairly large tumour was found! Feel so bad for her and my husband who's oddly calm. He says he won't worry until we get the the test results if it's malignant or has spread. My son's school was understanding about this and we'll homeschool him as much as we can. Got our DNA test results and luckily everything is Ok and little Rose is our's and there hasn't been some horrible misshap in the lab! 
Our lawyer will apply for the visa tomorrow after we checked the application today . Now it's a waiting game . Praying we get to go home soon .....


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi.
My surrogate and us got a BFP 2 weeks ago. Her HCG at 11dp4dt was 400. Is this good? We have a scan on thursday- so it will b 5weeks and 5 days. I am sooo terrified that things will go horribly wrong as I have wanted this for so long. Any advice or anyone in the same boat? Xx


----------



## TeamD

Hi all, just a quick post, very upset sorry... Bfn, so upset, so fed up  xx


----------



## olinaiti

So sorry TeamD . Been thinking about you today. It'll happen for you one day I'm sure . Big hug


----------



## olinaiti

Good luck with the 2 ww alongtimecoming!!!! 
Daisymaisy i'm afraid I can't remember the HCG numbers we had at all . It was agonising monitoring the levels every few days though in the first few weeks specially since we had a BFP earlier last year that ended up ectopic ! They have the range of average levels on various websites if you google it. I wish you luck !


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

TeamD my heart goes out to you xxx


----------



## alongtimecoming

Lots of love to you both TeamD

XxxX


----------



## nevergiveup1

Team D - so so sorry!!      this last pregnancy it took surromom 3 fresh rounds and one frozen to get pregnant and I never thought it would happen. Everytime is so heart breaking.

Daisy: at 15dpo (same day as you) on my first pregnancy we also had 400 on the button and we were pregnant with twins although the second baby never developed a heartbeat. On this pregnancy at 15dpo we were 230  and again twins but they deveoped till today. 400 is an excellent ready for 15dpo!!Search for betabase online, they show you loads of ladies readings.
400 is in the region of twins if I remember but you can never really tell.


----------



## napy

Hi everyone, I'm sort of new to this thread, but I've read alot of it and seems like a wonderful support group for people having children through surrogacy.

TeamD - my heart goes out to you, it's always so shocking and hard to hear that things haven't worked.  I was looking at your history and counting the times that you've tried with your surrogate mother.  Is this the third time?  If you are planning to try again, I would try with a different surrogate mother.  Sometimes things just don't work with some people, but if you mix up the combination (like in your case, the surrogate mother), things could work fine. I've heard of many people who try with a surrogate mother and things work the first time.  My husband and I recently tried to two fresh cycles with a surrogate mother in Ukraine and had two BFNs.  Both times we had very high quality embyros.  So, now we are trying with a new surrogate mother for two of our four frozen embyros and then trying with another surrogate mother for the next two.  We feel that you have to find the right combination of surrogate mother and embyros for this to work and right now, the only variable we can change is the surrogate mother.


----------



## sopical

Oh NOOOOOOO......I can t believe it TeamD   . I have been keeping up with this journey and was so sure this would have a good outcome. I know nothing will make this better but I am gutted for you. Life just is not fair sometimes is it? 
 
I hope you plan to try again.....keep strong.


Jan X


----------



## TeamD

Hello everyone!  Thank you for all your support and kind words 

Welcome Napy and DaisyMaisy, this is an amazing thread, so very supportive. DaisyMaisy congrat on the BFP!  Where did you do surrogacy?

Sopical, hope you are well, haven't heard from you for a while, how is the pregnancy going?

Olinaiti, lovely to hear from you, think about you lots and hope you are smiling everyday.  Think about Poppins too, would love to hear some more news!

Napy, thank you, you have given us something to think about. We have indeed had 3 tries with our tummymummy, the first she got pregnant but m/c at 9 wks, the second two were BFNs.  We were very much focused on changing clinic and hadn't even considered changing surrogate. It breaks my heart to think like that though, she is amazing and we have become friends and i almost feel like i'm being completely ridiculous turning down a healthy willing lovely surrogate!?  What is the Ukraine like for surrogacy?! Is it a bit like India?  Is it similar in cost?  Cost is now an issue for us as we have run out of cash so need to do this best we can on a budget although we do have the ability to borrow and i'd not go 'cheap' over quality of course.  We woudl so love this to be our own biological baby but the Cyprus clinic has said my eggs are damaged from endo and I am 37 but then we had 2 top blasts to transfer on our 2nd cycle surely we shouldn't give up yet?!

Has anyone used an Indian clinic??

URGGGGHHHHHH!

I hate all this, its been 5 years of pain, I just want to be a mum, I'm a good person!

Sorry! 

Have a good day all xx


----------



## napy

TeamD,
  Doing IVF and surrogacy in Ukraine has been ok so far, except that we haven't had a BFP in Ukraine yet. Our only success so far has been in the US with GIVF and we spent so much money doing that.  That's why we looked overseas to Ukraine. I think it is very similiar to India as far as prices go.  If you go to the La Vita Felice website they have a complete price list.  And I believe their laws state that the couple must be a married couple; a man and woman. They are also changing their laws such that they cannot do surrogacy for people who are citizens of countries where surrogacy is illegal.  I have to say the communication has been a bit lacking, but they do generally get back to us.  I know it's hard to change to a different surrogate mother, but it may just be the wrong combination with your embyros.  When my husband and I first started down the surrogacy road I spoke to a woman who had two children from two different surrogate mothers.  She told me that for her first child, they were on their 3rd surrogate mother before they had success.  One of the ones that didn't work for them got pregnant on her own naturally shortly after their cycle!    Best of luck to you, and I do think you should be able to use your own eggs, especially if you got blastocysts!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thank you for all of your lovely messages.  we had a scan on thursday and all 3 babies were seen and all 3 had heartbeats!  i cant believe it.  they are monitoring our surrogate weekly, so another scan on thursday.  just hoping for the best as i know that it is very early days and sooo trying not to get over excited, but it is really hard.  i go from being over the moon and being very excited, to crying because i am so worried that they might not make it to the next scan....this is all so emotional! lol

TeamD, thank you for ur message. we r working with a clinic in the ukraine.  they seem lovely and everything has gone really well so far.


its so nice to have this thread as its nice to know others are in the same boat! hope everyone else is doing ok?

xxxxxxx


----------



## olinaiti

Congrats and good luck DaisyMaisy! Can't believe you have three babies there! How many embryos did you transfer? We did two and were told the chances of triplets were about15% and twins40%.


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Wow daisymaisey that is great news- my friend on another thread has just given birth to her 3 boys. Good luck wig next scan x


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi everyone.

olinaiti - the clinic transferred 3 embryos, but i dont think they expected to get three babies!  i still cant believe it. just hoping that each week they are still there and their hearts are still beating.

♥JJ1♥ - thank you, but still sooooooo scared.  i will let u know, 6 week, 5 day scan on thursday!
xxxx


----------



## nevergiveup1

WOW!! daisy that is very good!! Well done surromom!!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

nevergiveup1 - i am sooooooo greatful to her, words can not explain.  just want them to hang on sooooooo much. xxxxxx


----------



## lily17

Hi Daisy Maisy


OMG thats amazing!  
3 OMG!!! 
I understand your worries, a triple pregnancy isnt straight forward, what country is your surrogate in?


Lily xx


----------



## SamanthaB

Good luck AnnaRosie! xx


----------



## Diane72

Good luck Anna Rosie!!!!


Daisy Maisy     




Hello to everyone else xxxxx


----------



## alwayshope

Hi everyone,

Hope you are all doing well. So sorry I have been out of touch for sometime. It has been a bit touch and go during our surrogate´s pregnancy and we are pleased to announce that our two baby girls were born at 34 weeks on the 9th May. We just got out of hospital after 2 weeks and feel like the luckiest people alive right now. The wait has so been worth it.

I just wanted to share with you our experience of the hospital with you so that you are prepared, so that those of you having a baby in a UK hospital via surrogacy hopefully will not go through what we did. A month before the birth I called the hospital to introduce myself - already knowing that they had dealt with our surrogate twice before for two other sets of intended parents. The labour ward were pleased I had touched base and I told them at this point that the midwife looking after our surrogate had documented that this pregnancy was a surrogacy. We had already informed our GP and health visitor of the impending birth. However, as the babies were born early they were taken into neonatal care, who had no experience of surrogacy and so decided to not allow us to see the baby for 4 hours. They wanted proof of our ´legitimate´ surrogate arrangement, and only after our surrogate pleaded with them for us to see our babies, who bless her was not in a well state after having a c-section, they let us see our babies. As neonatal care didn´t know how to deal with a surrogacy case they made up rules to ´safeguard´ the children, including not using the names we chose for them, "as we were not the parents and so could not name them". Social services were called and we were investigated as to our suitability as intended parents. The grandparents were not allowed to visit for a few days and it was only when I sent the ´legal team´ at the hospital a web page from Natalie Gamble´s website, which outlines the legal obligations of UK healthcare and social work professionals, did their tone change. All of a sudden the girls´ names were used by the staff, social services stepped down and I was admitted to the hospital so that I was taking care of the girls 24/7. To be honest, after this the staff were absolutely superb and I could not fault them. It turned out fine and we are very grateful to the staff for what they did for us and our girls.

I am not telling our story to intended parents to worry you, but only to make sure that all parties at the hospital know that a surrogacy is going on and that the hospital knows where their responsibilities lie and that both the surrogate and the intended parents are respected. If I could do it all again I would contact maternity ward and neonatal ward prior to the birth and make sure all are aware of a surrogacy birth taking place. Then, I am sure none of this upset would have occurred. It certainly hasn´t put us off using a UK hospital, should we ever decide to do this again

All the best to all of you waiting for your babies to be born and those working on it. It has so been worth it!

Best wishes	
Alwayshope xx

PS: Here is the website we used to help the hospital understand what is required of them. 
http://www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk/page/UK-hospitals-and-social-workers/87/


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Alwayshope:  congratulations on the birth of your daughters!  I cant even imagine what it must be like - it must feel amazing.  tbh, i am a little worried about the birth.  As we r going international, the hospital will speak no english.  but i am hoping that the clinic will be on hand to help.

Annarosie:  i am in the same boat. we gave up on DEIVF as my lining just wouldnt thicken.  all the drugs in the world and still nothing!  CVS testing on friday, so i am a little nervous, always scared.  i just wnat to get to the 12 week mark and then hopefully relax a little, and then get to the 20 week mark.........

wishing u lots of luck for wednesday.  i have everything crossed for you. please, please let us know ur result. we had a nightmare with the 2ww.  our surrogate was tested on teh 28th april, but it was then national holiday, so after lots of emails to the clinic and various people, we finally found out that we had a BFP on 1st may!  but was so worth it.

diane72:  thank you for your congratulations.  just praying that everything is going ok....i just think, no news is good news at this stage.

lots of luck to everyone. keep in touch. 

daisy. xxx


----------



## Diane72

Alwayshope,

Congratulations!!! Wonderful news, having your babies in your arms at last I'm sure is a dream come true  . 

So sorry to hear of all the awful stuff you went through with the hospital. We formally asked for arrangements to be made through my sister's midwife beforehand (including NICU) and at first were told it would not be possible for me to stay with my baby. My sister kicked up a huge fuss and her midwife was very supportive and took it above the Head of Midwifery's head at the hospital for discussion at a PCT level. We finally got it agreed that I could stay with my baby (and we made sure we had it in writing to show anyone that challenged it). Even with all that the Head of Midwifery at NICU actually said to me 'You won't run away with the baby will you or I will get in alot of trouble' and there was no joking in her voice she was deadly serious. I could hardly believe my ears this was a baby that was entirely genetically mine and my husband's, my sister was carrying it for me and it was coming home with me once we came out of the hospital- why would I run away with it?!!! She kept referring to my sister as the baby's mother and would not look at me in any of the discussions even though my sister corrected her every single time and immediately asked me each time. She too said she had contacted social services but they had been in the loop with the original discussions the GP midwife had had so thankfully they didn't do anything. My sister had to come back for the formal discharge but other than that all went OK despite the rudeness. I also had visited my own GP a number of times before my baby was born and spoken to both the local midwife and health visitor some months before the birth that really helped when she was actually born. As you say I think it is good to share these experiences so that people can make sure they have had all the necessary discussions up front. I just think its disgusting that after all the pain we have gone through these people make it even more painful for us when truly there is no need. The positive side is the people in the labour ward were absolutely lovely with us. 

Enjoy every moment with your little ones!!!!

Diane x


----------



## olinaiti

Congrats Alwayshope! Good luck Annarosie!
We finally arrived back to the UK with our baby. I am so happy to be in my own house again! My husband Is staying home to help this week and Then it's thankfully the half term so we can try to get into a sensible routine with both children. Baby's doing well . Quickly growing and changing . Can already see the little personality come through am in love! Can't believe that she's finally here after all these years!


----------



## Diane72

Wonderful news Olinaiti!!!! Congratulations!

D x


----------



## alwayshope

Congratulations Olinaiti!


----------



## olinaiti

Thanks Diane , Annarosie and Alwayshope!


----------



## doopy

hi all, i hope you dont mind me posting here- we have just had our first attempt with our lovely gestational surrogate and the ivf has not worked- i am dissappointed obviously and its been such a hard road to get to the point of finding the surrogate and the clinic to treat us i guess i thought the hard bit was over!! now i realise we still have a long way to go- i/m worried that the next try wont work either and we probably only have enough time and resources to try twice more- i suppose i/m just looking for some words of comfort that we have a good chance of success or something. you know the way it is , trying to find a bit of comfort from somewhere!! best of luck to you all
x doopy


----------



## napy

Good advice annarosie.  I was wondering if you had four embryos transferred to each of your surrogate mothers in India?  I've heard from other people about their IVF cycles in India and they said that four were transferred, and if more than two implanted, then selective reduction was required.  Is that the standard practice at SCI?


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hello girls.

annarosie - defo keep me posted!  we r doing international surrogacy.  we had four day embryos tansferred into one lovely surrogate.

doopy - im so sorry to hear about ur bfn.  no words can take away the pain and the hurt. but take your time and then go again (if that is what you want to do).  i know some companies offer a six cycle offer type thing, where you pay a certain amount of money and then if you dont get a baby, you get your money back.  we did IVF in the states with that deal, but not sure if they also so it for surrogacy.

well, i am still just waitng for CVS testing on friday and hoping that babies are all ok.  its been two weeks since the last scan and it is too long!  keeping my fingers crossed and   that it is our time to finally become parents.  

take care everyone.

Daisy. xxx


----------



## napy

Congratulations!  That's wonderful news!


----------



## Allen

Ha-ha-ha, the news is great, two children mean double happiness, but double trouble


----------



## Diane72

Congratulations Annarosie! Wonderful news!!!!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Congratulations!  thats fab news!  When do u find out more - hcg levels etc?  yeah!  xxxxxxx


----------



## olinaiti

Congrats Annarosie !


----------



## Diane72

Annarosie,


How many days past egg fertilisation were the tests done? Anything over 50 at 14 days after fertilisation is considered OK (although some lower than that go on to become babies and one of mine started at 410 and didn't last so it really isn't definitive). Of course what matters most is whether they double every 2-3 days. You can look at HCG ranges on a website called Betabase (just put it in google) if you haven't come across it before. 


Good luck!!!!


D x


----------



## Diane72

Annarosie,

It is pointless worrying as you really can't read anything from a single point HCG and there are so many variables e.g. when your embryos actually implanted etc. I have been an obsessive HCG tester in my time and it doesn't change the outcome! The most important milestone after your BFP is getting to a heartbeat on a scan. Although people focus on 12 weeks there is also a big drop in risk of miscarriage once you reach a heartbeat. Keeping my fingers crossed for you that it all goes well    

Hugs,

Diane x


----------



## DaisyMaisy

hi ladies.

just thought that i would keep you updated.  CVS tests came back normal - all fine.  but unfortunately we have lost one, so our trio is now a duo, but the two are doing well.  the next scan is the 12 week scan at the end of june.  the clinic dont seem to be worried.

we are having a boy and a girl.  

just   everything goes well......

xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi annarosie.

thank you.  how r u doing?  excited about wednesday? 

xxx


----------



## Diane72

Daisymay,


Hugs   


Dx


----------



## olinaiti

DaisyMaisy, congrats on the normal test result . Sorry about your loss!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thank you everyone for your kind words.  i am very excited, but also very worried....the next scan isn't until 21st June.  thats a whole 3 weeks away!

AR- yes, i do exactly the same. i am wishing time away.  i feel ready for these babies now...3 years in the making and i want them now.  i didn't realise this BFP lark would make be worry so much.  it is driving me  .  i want 3 weeks to hurry up so that there is some reassurance that they are OK,. and then i will want time to hurry along to the 20 week scan and then i will want time to fly until they are born and then i will want to bring them home!  questions keep going in my head - what happends if their hb stop? what happends if their hb are too fast now (160 and 180)?  what happends if the one we lost doesn't reabsorb into the uterus?  what happends if the cvs testing disturbed them too much?  worry, worry, worry!

but no news is good news (i think) .


----------



## lily17

Hi Daisy maisy


Its natural to worry! But there's one thing for sure- you cant do anything about it- what will be...will be!!
I am sad one of your babies was lost....but the positive thing is, it gives the other two a much better chance of getting a good weight and doing ok. Three babies is so risky,  there is a high chance of problems with three.
Our surrogate is now 32/33 weeks, she has just developed a DVT ( deep vein thrombosis), which is very risky for her. She now has to inject blood thinners every morning and evening. EEEEk!!  
Fingers crossed she is ok.


Lily xxx


----------



## Diane72

Daisy May, I know exactly how you feel. I would love to be one of those people who can celebrate on getting a BFP who lives in a world where they don't even think about what can go wrong but most of us who have turned to surrogacy have been on such a hard journey we don't have that privilege. I used to think if someone could show me a crystal ball I could stand it but its so hard when you worry and just want to 'fast forward'. Take each milestone at a time, sending lots and lots of luck   


Lily, oh no, how stressful, your poor surrogate. I assume she's having clexane or an equivalent? It's hard enough when someone is helping you in such a life-transforming way but then to have something impact their health it feels awful and worrying, I know I felt that way when my sister got the diabetes. Praying all goes OK.


Dx


----------



## napy

I understand exactly how everyone feels with all the worrying. You think you are removed from the situation since someone else is carrying your baby, but your heart and soul are so tied up in wanting things to go smoothly for the entire pregnancy.  I was there two years ago myself.  It's so hard having a child this way.  You feel so out of control and just have to have faith that things will work out.  I totally understand how you want time to go by really fast so that your surrogate mother is at a full term pregnancy as soon as possible.  Good luck to everyone who has a surrogate mother carrying a child (or two!) for them now.  Hopefully we will be in your shoes again soon!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

thank you ladies, its good to know that others feel/felt exactly the same!

AR: good luck for wednesday.  wishing you lots of luck.

lily - i hope ur surrogate is ok and that this doesnt cause too much trouble for her.

so far no news from the clinic, so no news is good news!

xx


----------



## lily17

Hi Everyone


how are you all doing?


Our surrogate is in hospital having a scan on the blood clot in her leg, she has been injecting Clexane twice a day so, hopefully it may help to dissolve the clot. Its very worrying, i would hate to think that I have contributed to her health problems...... as we know carrying a baby for yourself can have health problems...but carrying for someone else is possibly even more worrying.........
we will find out later what the verdict is....hopefully all will be ok  eeeeeek!!


Lily x


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Lily - wishing u and your surrogate lots of luck. Totally different situation but my mum was on Clexene for blood clots on the lungs. She had to inject once a day and by her next ct scan, they were gone. So hopefully it will work wonders for your lovely surrogate.

I am still going between worry and excitment. We have had an official due date as 8th January. Which makes us 9 weeks today. I thought we were 9+3 so had to back track a bit but hay ho. Also clinic told us measurements of both babies- one is 5 days ahead of the other but both are in front. I just need to stop worrying! 12 week scan hurry up! Lol 

Hope everyone else is ok and keep us updated lily on your surrogate.

Take care

Daisy. Xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Congratulations!  thats fantastic news!  xxx


----------



## napy

That's great news! I wish you a smooth pregnancy for both of your surrogate mothers!


----------



## olinaiti

Congrats Annarosie! I hope it all continues to go well  
We are doing ok here although are very tired. My husband just went back to work this week and it's been the half term so both my older son and the baby are at home. It'll take time to get used to looking after both. I was tired and sometimes quite unwell due to my illness before the baby came so now feel worse... My parents are coming on Sunday for two weeks and I'll have to ask them to do stuff like cooking , vacuuming and babysitting not just to be guests! 
Baby's doing well . She's now 6 1/2 w old. She's has had  some nights of sleeping from 10.30/11 till the early morning . Today woke up at 8! And we've been getting more and more smiles ! She's also much more alert and is attempting to roll and has been trying to crawl since a few weeks old ( pushing with her legs ), now figuring out the hands too so she's actually going somewhere if you put your hands behind her so she has something to push against! It's just her heavy head stopping her really   . One thing she does now though every night is scream on and off for hours just like my son used to. Its been my poor husband dealing with it so far , i've been so tired i've gone to bed when he's gotten back. I'm sure it's developmental and she'll stop it at some point...
Our surrogate's Bell's Palsy seemed to have pretty much cleared when we last talked to her before returning to this country so that's a relief. We'll keep in touch but not all the time. Just want to settle  into our normal life back home and also give her some space if she needs it. She sounded like her happy self again on the phone . 
My motherinlaw's cancer is soon being operated . We'll hope for the best . It's stage 3 though but not spread so caught just in time... it's definitely affecting us all except my little son who doesn't know the details since we don't want to worry him before we know how the surgery goes. I wish after years of absolute hell and then getting a lifelong illness we could have finally just enjoyed and celebrated this miracle little baby without something horrible happening . I already lost my grandmother this year so that was enough ... Well I guess it's life and we have no choice but to go on . I do feel somewhat sad and depressed


----------



## lily17

Good news for us, our surrogates scan showed the blood clot was in fact a variocose vein- hurray! Im pleased for her, I was worried her health was at risk.so no more injections, the clexane was given as a precaution until they were sure.
Baby ok doing fine. surrogate is now 33 weeks eeek! time is moving on.
We have now bought lots of things in preperation, and have spoken to the hospital where the surrogate will give birth so they are all prepared for her and us!


How is eveyone else?


Oninati- sorry to hear about your traumas, hope you can enjoy baby a little and not be too sad, the difficult time will pass, life has cycles of ups and downs, and nothing stays the same for very long. 


Lily xx


----------



## kiera19

Hi anarose,

Why did you delete your posts?  It is your choice and your husbands choice on what fertility journey you decide to take. So please don't feel upset.  It is not strange.

You are soon going to be a mummy to two beautiful babies  

Congratulations x


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Lily - I am so glad that your surrogate is ok - yeah! That is good news. Glad that she is doing well! 33 weeks- goodness me, that seems such a long way from where we are.

Ar- so glad surrogates doing well. When is your next scan? 

Olinati- I understand exactly how you feel about being happy but also feeling sad. My mum was diagnosed with cancer in October and sadly lost her battle on 16th April, one day before et and two weeks before I could tell her that after 3 hard years that she was finally a grandmother. It just seems unfair doesn't it that such happiness can be overshadowed? Stay positive and hope for the best. Wishing you lots of luck on all account.

I am still just worrying lots. But no news is good news...
.....

Xxxxx


----------



## olinaiti

Good luck lily , not long now   !
Good luck for the scan next week Annarosie! 
I'm so sorry about your mother DaisyMaisy ! 
I guess my biggest problem is the illness I developed after being put on steroids for misscarriages. I've been sick now for two years and it's affected everything . I've give almost anything if I could one day be better...


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## lily17

Annarosie


Surrogacy is often a journey of last resort, and once we have our baby or babys via our lovely surrogate mothers, its a journey that has to be told, to the child and to friends and relatives at some point, so its always a good thing to discuss all aspects of surrogacy here on this forum, this place is about support, but also about exploring issues and finding our other peoples opinions.
Surrogacy often raises eyebrows when you tell people who arent involved, people are curious, and interested at how it works and what the dynamics are.
I have always been open with my friends work colleagues and relatives about what we are doing, and people have mostly been accepting. I worry how I will tell my baby/child if I will get the balance right, and I worry that our child will accept how they were conceived.I dont want our baby to think we 'bought them' like some sort of supermarket shopping spree, which is what some people think, because there is money involved.  


We nearly had two surrogates here in the UK, so its something we would have pursued if it had worked out, so its not something I am condemming. 
Lily x


----------



## lily17

Olinati


What is the illness you have developed?


Lily x


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## napy

Lily and Annarosie, 
I have been reading your discussion and I just wanted to let you know about my experiences so far in the US.  IAlthough many people know that our daughter was carried by a surrogate mother, obody really asks many questions about it. Not even relatives.  It's almost like they are purposely not asking questions about it. Maybe things are different in the UK, but I thought there would be more questions, but the most I was ever asked was what state our surrogate mother lived in and what her family situation was, like did she have kids of her own, and was she married.  I think when your babies are born, everyone will be so thrilled for you and be delighted with the babies, they they will hardly ask about who carried them.  That's my experience at least.  We currently have two surrogate mothers in Ukraine right now getting ready for FETs this month.  

Wishing  both of you the best of luck with your surrogate mother's pregnancies!
Napy


----------



## Diane72

Hi All,


It is an interesting discussion. I do feel there is prejudice against woman who do not have a functional womb using alternative methods to bring their child to this world. I guess I have personally taken the stand of I talk about it openly as I think it is important that people realise we don't do this out of 'choice' but most of us have been on very tough journeys to having our child. I describe it as someone 'baby-sitting' my embryo for 9 months (which is how my sister viewed it) and will describe it to my little girl as that too. After my 6th miscarriage my IVF consultant said to me 'sometimes it take the love of more than two people to bring a special baby to this world' and  I was thinking of writing a children's book range under that title that has a series of books explaining things like IVF and surrogacy a bit like the 'Where did I come from?' book for kids as I think the more we educate people and children the more this prejudice will go away with time. It would be useful to have that not just for our surrogacy babies but straightforward IVF babies and I was thinking for surrogates' children too.


For interest I didn't have two surrogates but I did have the remainder of my embryos transferred to myself. Both my sister and I got pregnant at first and I hoped and prayed both would make it. As always I miscarried again but the embie in my sister carried on. If I had both babies today I would be so grateful of the miracle I wouldn't care about anything else.


D x


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## kiera19

Diane what you have just wrote is lovely and explained it so well. . I think you should write a book !

I will also explain to my son and daughter how a special lady helped babysit them for 9'months.

And I have also kept a memory box which has our tummy mummy's pictures , a pair of booties she knitted for her, my Ivf gonal F pen and scan pictures and our DNA results  ect so when annabelle is old enough I will be able to explain everything to her.  

Best wishes xxxx


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## lily17

Hi Everyone!


I didnt know it was illegal to have 2 surrogates in tamdem here in the UK, it happened as we had one surrogate who was trying for us with IVF and it was unsuccessful, and we knew our journey with her was coming to an end, she didnt really want to try many more times, and agreed one more try with her, doubtful it would work we started to plan the treatment, but she then had to postpone due to a minor op she was having, so we started to look around for someone else, and met someone straight away who we clicked with , and who was ready to do insems immediately. We started insems with her, but had not finalised the final treatment with the other surrogate. As it turnedout the final IVf treament didnt go ahead, as the first surro took longer to recover from her minor op than we thought, so when she was recovered, we both agreed not to continue, and then we got a positive with the new surro- so it was a close call- but all worked out in the end!!

Also ladies- please note alot of what is written here by me is not always received in the way I would say it- so I apologise if sometimes you feel offended by my comments- its not meant- I am very opinionated- but I am very light and friendly and dont fall out with anyone easily!! I write with irony, jest and I always write with a smile.
Annarosie- OK sorry 'strange' maybe the wrong word but its highly unusual.... surrogacy is not usual, it is not widely known about and surrogacy evokes an OMG from lots of people.
Lily x


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## kiera19

Hi lily , 

I have read your posts and even though I am not directly involved I feel some of your opinions  are from your own experiences and I don't agree.

Every person I have come into contact with and have chosen to inform about my surrogate journey already knew details about surrogacy and not once did I get a Omg !

You quote "surrogacy is not usual" but what is   
                " some people will think we are buying babies". These people have not been educated and      researched surrogacy to the deeper depths (and probably have given birth to 3 of their own children so will never feel that pain, the aching we have had)

And it is not  always about money !  I know several parents who where able to be helped by a family member or friend.....

My surrogate is not a relative but informed me that she saw her aunty go through the pain of being childless when she was young and now that her family is complete she wanted to help someone else.

Lily If you think it's good tv material , I can give you the number of a journalist that will be able publish your story to all the Uk ...  

The reason I choose not to do surrogacy in the Uk is because the law is very outdated. Myself and husband would be genetically related to the baby but if the the tummy mummy choose to keep our child there would be nothing in the English law that's would protect us ... 

Lilly was it your children or your husbands from a previous relationship? 

Again it's good to have discussions but lets not generalise .


Lily our surrogate are exactly the same weeks and days pregnant..... 

Best wishes


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## lily17

Hi Kiera


what a coincidence our surros are due at the same time. Do you know if its a boy or a girl?


I dont agree with everything you say either!!   


Ive had 3 kids of my own when I was young, but that doesnt mean it hasnt been a hard road trying to conceive this baby, it was an emotional rollercoaster, the tears and despair and hopeless feelings where just as real for me, looking at other babies, baby's on tv adverts and not even being able to walk down the baby isle in tescos... and almost more frustrating and more upsetting when things didnt work, as they damned well used to....


And some very well educated people still maintain we are 'buying babies' ....Even my own daughter, who is now grown up and a young woman in her own right, disagrees with the money changing hands. When I say the money is for expenses...she says "erm no you are buying a baby".....yet she knows what we have been through and what others go through and understands the UK law and how things are done, She is perfectly educated balanced and well informed, yet she sees it her way....
I suppose some people will always be polite to our face, and maybe have their own opinion behind closed doors.


ah well not long now and we will be in the midst of it all, bottles nappys and crying, and no time to discuss the rights and wrongs of how why and where.....
Lily x


----------



## Holly82

Hi 

I am hoping to start surrogacy soon with a fab friend. I have been referred from my GP to Hull, i live in Sunderland and so does my surrogate. I am waiting for a app with Hull Clinic and will prob give them a ring next week just to make sure they have recieved my referral. I'm now just very nervous that they may not do surrogacy for me as i am only 29 and my partner is 26, the only problem i have is blocked tubes, they may want to do immunes with me first before they will do surrogacy. I have had five cycles of IVF and really don't think i could go through it again. Anyhow just thought i would ask if i could join in? And hopefully get some advice from you girls along the way   x 

Congratulations to all who have their BFP's i   i will join you's one day very soon!! x


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## DaisyMaisy

Hi holly

I have no experience of surrogacy in the uk as we are doing international surrogacy. One thing I would say is to get legal advice - our lawyer has been fab. But again, this is to do with international. Good luck- I hope all goes well. Xx


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## Diane72

Hi Holly,


Welcome!


Have a look at Natalie Gamble's website if you haven't already as it has lots of information on there on the legal aspects of surrogacy. Are you with the NHS or a private clinic? The other bit of advice I'd give is make sure you have talked all scenarios with your friend including scenarios where things don't go as planned with the treatment and financial aspects (e.g. my sister lost her job while pregnant and  then because she was pregnant no-one would re-employ her even though she has a lot of experience and got a job again the minute she was no longer pregnant).


Diane


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## Holly82

Hi 

Thank you all for getting back to me  . I will seek legal advice after my first app with Hull just incase they do say no to helping me with Surrogacy. It will be host surrogacy (i have 4 frozen embryo's at CFL which i will transfer to Hull) and i am paying private. I just want to get started and i am so impatient at the mo everything takes sooooo long!!. My friend is amazing she has 3 children of her own and is a stay at home mummy, and Kelly (my surrogate) keeping the baby at the end is the least as my worries as her family is complete, she is only 26 and if she changes her mind to have more children in the future then she has plenty of time, she is also really eager to get started. Did any of you girls join COTS even having your surrogate sorted?   x

I recieved forms from CARE Manchester yesterday and sat and read through them last night with a glass of wine   my only concern is it says that you cant just decide that you want someone to carry a baby for you just because you would prefer not to carry yourself. 

Holly


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## ♥JJ1♥

Holly I would say that surrogacy isn't a quick process compared to IVF it is much slower! I found when consulting with UK clinics as the surrogate may have to have monitored cycles and will have all the same tests that you had before starting IVF, implication counselling for all 4 parties concerned, committees to approve taking your case on - i.e. infection screens etc. Some were quoting at least 6 months from first contact. Have you also researched the best clinic for FET, as they are your precious embryos, even if it means a few trips to London etc.  Good Luck
L


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## Holly82

Hi JJ1

What does infection screens mean? I have done quite alot of research on Hull IVF Clinic and i really like the sound of it   Oh and what is monitored Cycles? Sorry for the all the questions   x


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## Caz

Hi ladies, sorry to butt in. Just to say I have been reading the last few day's posts with interest. I don't pretend to understand the complicated emotional and practical realities of surrogacy, the one thing I do understand is that the desire to be a parent is what has brought us all to FF in the first place. 
It takes all sorts and all paths; what is right for some may not be for others and we all have our own limitations and expectations. The "outside" world (for wont of a better word) may not necessarily understand our desires or the lengths we go to to achieve them but I think that the one thing that makes FF great is that we can explore all out options and, instead of judgement, receive encouragement, support and advice along the way. At least I hope that is right. Surrogacy may be a little OMG (as someone put it) to some but I would hope that doesn't happen on FF and we can all accept and embrace the different paths we take to achieve our dream.

That said if anyone does want to start a debate (perhaps in a new thread) on how to handle those real life comments about surrogacy - and perhaps those who have gone before and experienced this can share some wisdom - I am sure this would be greatly beneficial to anyone who is struggling with unsupportive friends/family/colleagues in real life. 

*Holly82* A monitored cycle is (I think if I am thinking of the same thing) usually one where they essentially do a dry run at IVF with you to see how you respond. Some clinics will convert that to a full on IVF if results are favourable but I would guess that won't happen with surrogacy. 
Infection screening is the standard screening everyone has to have before undergoing IVF: usually this is HIV, hepatitis, CMV etc. Most tests can be done very quickly and results back soon but the HIV one often has to be repeated after a few months so can take anywhere from 3 to 6 months to finalise results. If, however there are existing tests for these things less than 6 months old, those results might be usable and this might speed things up.

C~x


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## Holly82

Hi Caz   

I don't know what i would do without FF.   x

Oh i have my notes from CFL with my results on from my Infection screening aswell as my partners, it also shows how i have responded to IVF which has always been very good. Will i still have to go through IVF even though i have four frozen embryo's which i will transfer to Hull Cinic if they agree to do surrogacy with me? I really don't want to go through IVF again unless i need more eggs for surrogacy. Thankyou for your help. 

Holly


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## ♥JJ1♥

Holly Caz has answered your q's but the when i was preparing for my friend to be a surrogate for us at a London clinic she needed to undergo screening tests, and have a 'dummy run' to ensure that her womb would thicken up etc- we also were using her eggs- different clinics may do different things but I think HFEA stipulate some things that all clinics have to abide to for their licenses. Good Luck


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## Holly82

I was hoping my friend would be able to do a non-medicated cycle but she said she is fine with doing medicated if needs be, there is just so much to think of and i thought IVF was stressful   so i guess i just need to wait for app with clinic which they said would be 2-3 weeks. x


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## Diane72

Hi Holly,


Just so you are mentally prepared, for me surrogacy was much more stressful than IVF (but worth it if you have tried everything and it enables you to finally have a child in your arms). I did 8 rounds of IVF with every kind of immune treatment possible but the surrogacy road was the toughest, although I knew in my heart I had tried everything and it was the only pathway left to my child. Along with the 'helplessness', the feeling that you have no control as it is not your body, the prejudice you face and all the issues that brings emotionally, it took us 5 months and 4 court hearings before our parental order was awarded and at 6 months we are still chasing to get the birth certificate with our names as parents on it. My sister was our surrogate so it was very straightforward but the court system is totally bureaucratic with no-one taking responsibility to make sure the process is followed through. Just wanted to share our experience so you are mentally prepared for the long haul that surrogacy takes.


Good luck with your appointment   


Diane x


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## Holly82

Diane

Congratulations on your gorgeous baby daughter   x

I'm hoping mine will be straightforward too as its my friend who i have known for years, she has offered to be a surrogate so many times for me but i knew i had to try IVF for as long as i could and i know i have given everything i can now although a lot of girls do try many more times than i did and get further testing done like yourself but i really don't think i would be able to cope with further tests and another Cycle of IVF. I thought you could put your partners name on the birth certificate as long as he goes to register the birth and that the birth mother allows this? I should have known that seemed to good to be true.

Holly


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## Diane72

Hi Holly,

Thanks for the congratulations!  It depends on whether your friend is married or not. If she is unmarried your husband can go on the birth certificate. If she is married her husband has to go on and then he has to also give consent and be seen by the CAFCASS officer (basically a court official a bit like a social worker who has to do a report on all surrogacy cases and see both intended parents and surrogate and their husband if they have one). Either way you will still have to go through the whole court process for you to legally become your child's parent. Have a read of Natalie Gamble's site http://www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk/page/father/26/

Dx


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## Holly82

Thanks Diane, she is unmarried but is in a relationship. I will read through Natalie Gamble's site.


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## Holly82

Hi 

I spoke to Hull today and they have recieved my referral, they are going to phone me back tommorrow with my appointment and to let me know if i need to take my surrogate to first appointment. x


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## Diane72

Good luck Holly


D


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## DaisyMaisy

Yeah. Congratulations! That's great news. Xx


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## Diane72

Wonderful news! Congratulations! A major milestone!


Dx


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## Holly82

Hi 

annarosie - Massive Congratulations   x 

AFM - I have my appointment at Hull on the 25th of June. eeek not long   is there anything i should know before i go? I am taking my surrogate too. x


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## olinaiti

congrats annarosie!


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## olinaiti

...and good luck Holly


----------



## Diane72

AR, 


Sending you lots of luck, praying for you   


D x


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## SamanthaB

AR, hope everything is ok. I had a little bleed when I was 5 and a half - 6 weeks pregnant. Luckily everything was fine. Hope it is for you too! Xx


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## DaisyMaisy

Hey AR, hope everything is ok.


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## ♥JJ1♥

AR I hope that she is ok and all is fine with the baby
l x


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## SamanthaB

There are a few on here wanting/needing a surrogate. Your not allowed to advertise though. I met my ip's through surrogatemother dot com .  Good luck xx


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## olinaiti

AR , I hope everything will be ok with the pregnancy ! Good luck !


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## DaisyMaisy

AR, im so glad that ur surrogate is doing better.  its hard not to worry, but try not to.   that everything will continue smoothly.

AFM, we had our 12 week scan yesterday and all is well. both babies are fine and are within range (whatever that means).  the clinic even emailed us a couple of videos which was amazing.  we can see their hearts beating, one is wriggling alot and the other is asleep (i bet that is the boy)!     

Next scan 4th July.  so still    but becoming a little more relaxed (for today anyway). 

Take care. xxxxxxx


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## DaisyMaisy

how do u get the lovely timeline at the bottom  of the page?? xx


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## olinaiti

Excellent news Daisymaisy !


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## ♥JJ1♥

daisy masiey re tickers click on someone else's ticker and will will take you to the website, and then you can customise it and copy and post the BB code into your signature and hey presto they appear!!


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## DaisyMaisy

Thank you ladies.


----------



## sopical

Hi, I have nt posted for a while , but lurk quite a bit to see what you are all up to!! I just wanted to share my wonderful news. My Boys have been born, a bit early (32 weeks) and although they are in intensive care, they are doing really well. They are the most wonderful, amazingly cute beings. I am delighted to report that after my fears of not being able to bond with them, I am totally in love with them. I took one look, and felt in my heart that they were my babies.  I cannot put into words the love and gratitude I feel for my surrogate and I sincerely hope we remain friends forever. 


I wish you all much success with your journeys.   


Jan X


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## DaisyMaisy

That's great news. Congratulations! Glad both babies are doing well. X


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## Diane72

Congratulations Jan!!!!         


Diane x


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## DaisyMaisy

AR- when is your next scan? It must be soon? Xx


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## ♥JJ1♥

jan Congratulations on the birth of your babies, I really hope that they gather strength and are soon home with you.

L xxx


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## SamanthaB

Congratulations!!! Hope everything is well! Xx


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## lily17

congrats to Jan! how wonderful!


Sam B how are you feeling? we are waiting around the same time! Have you decided to induce breastfeeding?


Lily x


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## SamanthaB

Hi Lily, I'm not the ip I am the surrogate  xx


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## juicylucy72

Well its been ages since Ive posted on FF and if you look at my history Ive never been on this one, but you guys come highly recommended to me through TeamD who is one of my Besties 
My history is that my DH and I have been trying for a baby for six years. We have undergone 3 cycles of IVF/ICSI at Bourn Hall, numerous IUI cycles and one frozen transfer, again through Bourn.  Our first cycle was successful, but unfortunately ended in early miscarriage.
We met with George Ndukwe last July who was so lovely and said there was no reason why we shouldnt be successful (anyone heard that before ?!)  We decided therefore to have our frozen embies put back in December along with the all the drugs he recommended (Prednisone, Clexane, Aspirin as well as the IVF drugs and various treatments of intralipids) but unfortunately this ended in a negative and I was in a right mess coming of the steroids.
We have undergone all the Chicago Level 1 and Level 2 tests and it appears that myself and DH have a very similar DHQ Alpha score.  Anyone else had this ?  NK Cells seem to be pretty normal ?
Has anyone else got experience with immunes and thinking of surrogacy as the next option ?  Am I being too premature and should I be giving George Ndukwe a go with a fresh cycle ?
Hope to hear from you !
Juicy Lucy 
x


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## Diane72

Hi Juicy Lucy,


We did 3 rounds with ARGC, 1 round with Herts & Essex, 1 round with CARE/Ndukwe, 1 round with Fertility & Gynaecology Academy, 2 rounds with Serum in Athens. I did dexamethasone, prednisolone, LIT several times (which is specifically for DQ Alpha issues even though I didn't have a match with my husband-this is avaiable at Dr. Gorgy's clinic Fertility & Gynaecology Treatment in London now although I mostly had to travel to Greece for it as he didn't do it then), intralipids, humira and intravenous immunoglobulin with slightly different variations across those rounds until a Dr. in Greece said we should do surrogacy.  My NKs were variable but when tested during treatment with immune therapy they were back in the normal range. I had 7 miscarriages within a few days of each other nearly every round (1 round was a negative)- I even got pregnant and miscarried with my embryos transferred to me at the same time as one was transferred to my sister (that became our surrogacy baby!) so the immune treatment did not work for me. However, I do know others who it did work for (including a friend recently where it has worked on the 4th round).


Unfortunately it is impossible to know when the right time to move to surrogacy is and you have to follow your own instinct. It's not easy but worth it if you feel in your heart you have tried everything else to finally hold your baby in your arms. If you're unsure perhaps try a fresh round with Ndukwe but set a deadline on when you will move to the next pathway so that you don't go on and on and on and know when to move onto the next stage.


Hope this helps, happy to share anything you may find helpful,


Diane x


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## DaisyMaisy

Hi.
W also did fewer rounds of ivf but also knew that that chances of me ever carrying a child was unlikely. Our last round of ivf was horrendous. I had definitely had enough. The thought of another one filled me with dread (and still does). The emotions that go along with me cycling is horrific and I don't want to feel that way again.
When we opted for surrogacy, it was a relief that it was t me. I felt excited about our new journey and couldn't wait to start it! It was defiantly the right choice for us, but we did give ivf our all, so we could never look back on 'what ifs'. Turning to surrogacy was the best decision, but I don't regret any of the ivfs. If we didn't follow that path, then I wouldn't be on this one, and I am enjoying this one.

Xxxxx


----------



## Holly82

Hi girls

I had a app last night with Hull IVF Clinic and to be honest i think it was a waste of time and £350.00. I told them my reasons for not wanting to do IVF any longer which are that i am anxious and really struggle with the medication. The Dr said if he put this to the ethics committee that they would probably say that i am young (29 and have always had a good response with IVF and the fact that i have had two chemical pregnancies is just down to bad luck (i have always blamed myself for the chemical pregnancies). I am not willing to go through anymore IVF and i told the Dr this. I said i feel like i have tried and i had to cancel a cycle because i felt so rotten from the medication and it gave me panic attacks. I'm now just wondering what to do next? as i know when he puts it ti the committee that they will say NO. I'm sure most other clinics will have the same attitude as they feel i should have the embryo's put back to myself, surely this should be my choice on when i have had enough, which i really have. The Dr also said that the committee might wonder if i can look after a child if i have anxiety and what if they were to get poorly but my anxiety comes from the fact that i may never have a child. 

Holly x


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## juicylucy72

Hi everyone !
Diane72 – wow – so many treatments and 7 miscarriages – that really is so unfair and you really have been through it all with your varied treatment cycles.  Your sister sounds amazing and given you the most precious gift of all.  I think you are right in that we should try a fresh round with Ndukwe, as we have not yet done yet and quite rightly put a deadline on it.  Its so easy to get swept away and to keep carrying on.  Unfortunately we have haven’t got an endless pot of money to spend on this !

Annarosie – hi – a couple of my friends have used donor eggs too as one of them has premature menopause -  she has said that in a kind of a strange way its a little bit easier as there is no deliberating as to whether to try another fresh cycle of IVF or go straight onto Donor.  I’m not saying by any means that donor eggs are the easier option at all,  that in itself brings about all sorts of feelings and emotions too.  I am definitely going to write down the Pros and Cons and I will let you know my conclusions – that is such a sensible way of tackling it.

DaisyMaisy – hi – thanks for the advice – yes my DH keeps telling me off for saying that I might regret not having tried harder – he says “how can you possibly say that and that I’m being too hard on myself”.  Bless him.

xxx


----------



## Diane72

Hi Juicy,


One of the reasons we travelled to Nottingham for a round is I wanted to try and find out if it was the embryo or the womb environment that was the problem as that would help decide whether the donor egg or surrogacy option was the best route. CARE do 'CGH testing' to check the quality of the embryo chromosomes, which most clinics don't do yet, so you may also want to ask Ndukwe about that. Ndukwe is a fan of intralipids rather than things like LIT or humira so you might also want to discuss what his views on the DQ alpha match and donor LIT are. Not sure if you have been on the immune thread on FF but there is loads on there if you haven't been on. Also if you haven't read Alan Beer's Book 'How to Make your Body Baby Friendly' it is great for explaining all the classes of immune issues. 


I thought it was also letting you know I came on this thread 'exploring' after my CARE round just after my 5th miscarriage. Even though it was 3 more rounds after that I did surrogacy I think it was a really important part of mentally preparing and adjusting for the next step when I eventually did take it so do stick around regardless of your next step   


D x


----------



## Diane72

AR,


Great news on the scan!!!   


Dx


----------



## olinaiti

Sopical congrats on the birth of your Twins !
AR congrats on the scan results!


----------



## olinaiti

Holly , I hope things work out for you! 
Juicy , i hope you'll be soon able to decide which way to go next on your journey . As others said no one else can really say when it's the time to move on to another option. I myself had after 7 miscarriages , tests etc 3 further miscarriages on prednisolone and feeling awful on them (  plus actually developing a chronic illness after coming of it so not a fan of them ,would give almost anything to have my health back ) I just knew I had definitely had enough and it was time to stop. Once I made the decision I felt so relieved ! Also felt very positive that this was  the way I would finally be able to have a baby ! Was ready to use a donor egg or sperm after three goes with ivf with our eggs and sperm . I felt after all those years of just keeping on trying and not knowing when it was going to end I needed a cut off point and a firm plan when to stop and move on to something else. What ever you decide , good luck .
Btw Rose is now almost 10 w old  and doing very well. To those still on your way , It's all so worth it !!!! We still need to finish the legal process in this country and have had to deal with the social services etc during it but we are getting there one thing at a time and hopefully in the next 6 m-9m we'll be done and can truly move on in our lives with this new little lovely person  ... Now that we have two kids and this process has been hard and stressful and being international surrogacy VERY expensive my other half is saying that this is it no more but I'm not completely sure although have struggled recently to manage with two so must be crazy even thinking about doing it again...


----------



## lily17

Sam B oohps sorry !   I know you have told me before- I lose track on these threads of who's doing what when!!!  
hope all goes well, how are you feeling physically? Is baby big or average for you? Our surrogate says she feels very big compared to her last pregnancies -so she hopes it will be early....but she has given birth 4 times and they have all needed inducing- so her track record would say otherwise!!!
getting very excited now
I am inducing breast feeding, have to take tablets for 30 days before starting pumping, but I have already had leakage which is a good sign ( after only 11 days or so on tabs)
Are any other surrogate mums inducing breastfeeding?


Lily xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi lily.

U am interested in inducing breast feeding, but have no idea about going about it? 

Glad all is going well. Xxx


----------



## lily17

Hi Daisy Maisy

Read up as much as you can here: http://www.asklenore.info/

this is the best site for getting all the info for inducing breastfeeding, then choose which protocol you need and get your local GP to prescribe the drugs for you, my GP made me have a private prescription, but the drugs are very cheap, the whole course for 60 days cost £16.00 so its not expensive. The key thing is doing it nice and early and pumping at very regular intervals, if you do everything they recommend in the protocols you should have enough milk to feed baby.
I have left it a bit late, so Im now doing the last minute accelerated protocol, but as Ive breastfed before, Im confident it should be ok.
Hope this helps

Lily xx

/links


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thank you. I will have a little nose.

I caved today and just couldn't wait any longer. I had 20% off m and s, so just had to buy something! I bought some baby clothes! Sooooo exciting! 

Hope everyone is well.

Xx


----------



## SamanthaB

Hi Lily, that's ok. I'm feeling so tired but its coming up to the last 3 weeks. I think this is going to be a big baby as he was estimated at 5lb 15 at a 34 wk scan. I too have never gone into natural labour. So don't really know what to expect. Hope you're surrogate is ok! Xx


----------



## lily17

Hi Sam B and ladies


my surro had a "show' on Tuesday, so we are wondering if birth maybe imminent! She isnt due for 3 weeks, but she says baby feels big and she says she feels so tired and fed up she has to have him soon!!! 
I know I had a 'show' the day I gave birth to my babies, but everyone is different and I know you can have a 'show' up to 14 days before the birth. All very exciting, how are you?


Lily x


----------



## SamanthaB

Ow how strange. I've been having a show for past 2days aswell along with mild pain at bottom of my stomach. Hoping it is soon, full term now. 20 days til DD!! Xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Ohhhh how exciting lily. I bet u can't wait to meet him! 

Hope everyone else is ok? We had another scan today and all is well. Babies are measuring big at 13 +6! Does anyone no if this changes our due date, or do we just stick with the one we were given in the beginning?

Hope all is well. Xxxxx


----------



## olinaiti

good luck lily and samanthab !
congrats on the scan daisymaisy!


----------



## SamanthaB

Daisy my consultant kept the due date the same as the one at the beginning. 13 + 6 is good. Means they're healthy and growing nicely xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Very glad that babies r ok, but our surrogates cervex length is a little short, so the clinic has sent her for a elective cerclage where they stitch the cervex together. Now very, very worried........that will teach me to relax a little! Xxx


----------



## SamanthaB

I'm sure will be fine. There's always a worry isn't there! Xx


----------



## CKay

Hi all,

I'm tentatively deciding what next for us - just had a failed round 6 with DE, so feeling pretty hopeless and tearful right now.  I don't think I can cope with IVF anymore.  Just wondering a few things and I don't know if anyone can help.  I don't know whether you I would try OE with surragacy but being 38 now may be I would be limiting my chances?  How do you go about DE and surrogacy using DH's sperm?

Thanks all CKay xxx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi ckay

I'm sorry to hear about your failed cycle. We have opted for surrogacy abroad. As I have pof we had to use DE. We went to see the clinic and they took dh's sperm and froze it. The clinic sent us our surrogates profile for us to agree. They then sent us through some profiles of donors (matching the criteria that we had set), for us to look through. Once that was sorted, the clinic kinda took over and we just waited for ET, and then the email after the 2ww. 

That's it in a nutshell really. If u would like more into, please pm me.

Lots of luck

Daisy. Xxx


----------



## Diane72

CKay,


Just thought I'd let you know I was 38 and I did use my own eggs for the surrogacy. Have you identified an issue with your eggs and/or womb? If it is a womb issue it may be fine to use your own eggs. I had all the issues you had (and saw Dr. G aswell) but none of those mattered when transferring our embie to my sister instead. 


Also just to say I do know exactly how you feel, I have been there with that increasing feeling of complete 'hopelessness'. Someone once told me 'the greatest sorrows in this world are caused by people thinking they are at the end of their story when they are actually only half way through', I always tried to remind myself of this.  


I set 38 as my milestone to change tact for the reason that  I did want to try my own eggs if going down the surrogacy route. My sister was our surrogate so there was quite a few clinics where we could do transfer as I was bringing my own surrogate but others will be better at giving advice on finding a surrogate.


Good luck with your journey, 


Diane x


----------



## CKay

Thank you Daisy for your help I will PM you, that sounds stright forward.

Diane - that's a lovely saying.  I'm not sure if it is an embryo issue on last round of OE IVF we got 15 eggs, 10 fertilised and 4 went to blast the rest didn't make it.  1 implanted but sadly stopped growing - so I don't know if that was because the embryo was dodgy or if it was my womb.  Also had an ectopic OE but that was 2 years ago now.  My lining is always thin and the max I've ever had is 7.8mm so don't know if it is that and I can't feed the embryos properly.  It's so difficult to know.  If I use my OE I need to do pretty soon and freeze them I think - we don't have any money saved for surrogacy yet so that would buy us a little time.  My sister has offered but I don't know whether she really would do it when it came down to crunch time.  Oh dilemma and decisions it's hard I  know I also need to give myself time to get over this cycle not working, but I need to have some possible ways forward it makes me feel better somehow.

Annarosie -     

Ckay xxx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

AR- I'm so sorry to hear that you have lost one. It is just not fair. No words can make you feel any better.

Big  

Daisy. Xx


----------



## SamanthaB

Sorry to hear that AR,


----------



## Diane72

AR,

So sorry, I know that feeling. In the round my sister carried Iona I had the other embies transferred to me, got pregnant and miscarried. It was tough as everyone just focused on my embie in my sister but I was still grieving for the baby we had lost. Although I thank God everyday for our precious Iona, my heart still breaks a little every day for the babies we lost. Sending hugs.

Dx


----------



## lily17

Dear AR


So sorry to hear about your loss, it never gets any easier how ever short or long the pregnancy went on for. I know how you must feel having gone through 4 miscarriages myself, ( 1 natural/2 IVF self and 1 IVF surrogate)
You feel so lost and hopeless.
Try to focus on the remaining pregnancy and keep everything crossed.
IVF/pregnancy/surrogacy is such a rollercoaster- stay strong!
Lily x


----------



## Holly82

So sorry AR   x


----------



## Stretch

Annarosie - I have not had surrogacy but read your thread daily as a dear FF'er started it and I wanted to follow her progress. I am so desperately sorry to hear your sad news today and have a little understanding as I lost my DS's twin early on. To acknowledge his/he life and remind us of the journey we planted a rose in the garden which produces the most stunning pink flowers each year


----------



## ladybugmum

Dear AR, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious baby-to-be. I really hope that people around you give you the time and space to grieve. I know for a fact that grieving over things that you've lost can go hand in hand with the joy you have over things that are still there. Focussing on the grieve now is what is most important. Don't let anybody tell you you should do differently. Follow your heart. 

Hugs!


----------



## olinaiti

AR , so sorry about your loss!


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

AR I am so sorry to hear of the loss of one of your babies- take care xxxx


----------



## TeamD

Hello everyone!

Sorry i havent been on here for a while, been really busy but also feeling a bit wobbly about fertility stuff at the moment 

Annarose, i have no words  i hope you are finding ways to pull through and have found strength, you have found the strength to come this far in this journey so you must be a very strong lady. Take care, lots of hugs       xx

Daisy, sorry to hear about your surrogate concern but keep strong, I do not know much about cervix issues during pregnancy but great that your surrogate has taken action, I hope all is well xx

Sam, you make me smile all the time, you are so amazing carrying a baby for someone who can't, I have ultimate respect for you! Glad you are doing well and do wonder if you are still pregnant having had shows, very exciting, keep us updated! Xx

Olanti, wowzer time flies! Hope you and rose are well, cherish every moment  xx

Lily, nearly there! Hope the milk is flowing! Exciting times  xx

CKay, welcome! This thread is wondeful, lots of support and inspiration  best of luck with your journey xx

Napy, how are you? Haven't heard from you for a little while. Any progress?

Diane, hope you and your beautiful family are well  xx

Afm, we are still struggling with what to do next  uk is easier and we wonder if we should do CGH testing as our embies have been naff and have had three failed attempts and I'm 37 with endo but it's sooooo expensive on top of already expensive treatment. I look at the cost of a treatment in the uk and its like £10k (not incl cgh) but India is about £15k for EVERYTHING! Then I wonder do India do CGH testing? If they do it'll be cheaper than uk no doubt! Then I think in India you can have more embies put back and have two surrogates so surely the chances are much higher. But then I hear bad stories and experiences which scare me and India is soooo far way and I've never been before and I worry about the standards there which is ignorant.  SCI have been very very good by email so far.  Arggghhhh you see what my head is doing?! I'm a mess!!   

So, in short, we are still in limbo!

Take care everyone, big hugs  

TeamD xx


----------



## SamanthaB

Sounds very confusing Team D. Yes still pregnant, 37 + 5 now. Not been feeling too well today. Had some strange feelings, also as if my waters are going to go. Most probably in my head though.  The weather isn't helping either. xx


----------



## olinaiti

Thanks TeamD . I do hope things will work out for you . 
We did surrogacy in the US and cost seems to have been astronomical compared to other places...
Rose is almost three months and growing up before my eyes. Our lawyers is getting on with the legal process in this country and we don't normally hear much from them . I assume the balls are rolling and he wil let us know when he needs us to do something . Have had our social worker visits and hopefully that's all done now .
Good luck to everyone on their journeys. Will continue to read this forum . Feel free to ask if u have any questions ...


----------



## napy

Annarosie, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.  Thankfully you chose to have your embryos transferred to two surrogate mothers, increasing your odds that you would end up with a child in your arms a few months down the road. Hopefully your surrogate mother will have a smooth and uneventful pregnancy, with an easy labor!  I will keep you in my prayers.

TeamD, thanks for asking about our progress. We did a transfer to our first surrogate mother on June 11th.  We found out two weeks ago today that she's pregnant!  We are very excited about this, but I'm almost afraid to be too happy because this is such a tenuous time.  I probably won't relax until she's much further down the road.  We did another transfer to our second surrogate mother on July 4th.  We are in the 2WW for her now and will find out next week if she is pregnant.


----------



## olinaiti

Napy ,congrats on you BFP in case I've forgotten !


----------



## napy

Thanks Olinati!


----------



## Allen

Napy, I'm so glad to congratulate you with so desired pregnancy!!  May everything go perfectly!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Congratulations nappy! Xx


----------



## napy

Thanks Allen, Annarosie, and DaisyMaisy!  As you can imagine, we are very anxious right now and can't wait until we hear from the clinic again.  Allen, is it every two weeks that Sana Med provides an update to the parents?


----------



## Allen

Napy, alas and alack! Their communication is very poor. It was me who asked Sana every 2 weeks (and even more frequently). Imagine, they even didn't told about our BFP    Fortunately, it's the only Sana's issue. The doctors are very good. But dont' hesitate to mail them and ask for details.


----------



## TeamD

Whoop! Congratulations napy! How wonderful! Do you mind me asking, is sanamed very expensive in comparison to india/uk? I guess you pay more for 2 surros?
Oliniaiti, good luck with the legal work! You must be smiling every day  
Sam, the weather in the uk is no good for anyone or anything at the moment!   keep us posted!
Thinking of you annarosie  
Hope everyone is well
TeamD xx


----------



## napy

Thanks TeamD!  I think the prices at Sana Med in Kharkov are comparable to the prices in India, maybe alittle more.  You can see the pricelist if you go to their website.  However, La Vita Felice (donor and surrogate mother agency in Kharkov), is now working with a different clinic in Russia.  We are still at Sana Med since that's where our embryos were stored.  And yes, we paid double the amount because we did transfers to two different surrogate mothers.  I'm not familiar with the prices in the UK since I'm from the US.  The prices at Sana Med are much better than the US clinic prices.


----------



## HEC

Congratulations Napy! Brilliant news and sending lots of positive thoughts for the next few weeks and beyond - for both your surrogates. You were so helpful to us with your posts and PMs and we took your advice about using a young egg donor... and we cannot quite believe our good fortune but our wonderful surrogate is now 5 weeks pregnant! We're trying not to get too excited as it is such early days but we are so happy that it's hard not to want to shout it from the rooftops! We have told close family but no-one else until we pass the 12 week stage, and I have deliberately not visited FF in the last few weeks as I felt somehow we needed to not tempt fate but, when I read that you have a positive result, I wanted to share our news too. Thanks again for your support and advice and good luck to you, and everyone who's going through this challenging but amazing journey.


----------



## HEC

AR - Just to say so sorry. The rose sounds a lovely way to remember your little one.
H


----------



## napy

Thank you HEC!  Our first surrogate is five weeks pregnant too now.  Wow, it sounds like our due dates will be about the same time.  I've been thinking about you and wondering what you decided to do.  I'm sooooo happy that it worked for you this time!!!     I'll pray for you that your surrogate mother has a smooth pregnancy, and an easy labor.  I've been through this before with our two year old daughter, and it just doesn't get any easier the second time around. I spend the whole nine months worrying!  The challenge is to just find other things to keep yourself busy.  As you can see, I'm on FF every day so I'm not doing so good at that!  This is such a wonderful community to share things with though, how can I resist?  I wish you the best of luck on your journey!!!


----------



## napy

Allen, your experiences sound similar to ours, until just recently.  For the first blood test and ultrasound they sent us an email with the good news before we emailed them.  That was a first though, but a good sign I think!  Until then, my husband had to email them to get any information.


----------



## Diane72

Just wanted to say a huge CONGRATULATIONS to both napy and HEC, I hope all goes smoothly        


Diane x


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Congratulations ladies on your BFP's!! xxx


----------



## olinaiti

Congrats HEC!


----------



## napy

Thanks Diane and DaisyMaisy!


----------



## Holly82

Hi 

Congratulations to Napy and HEC!!   x x x 

Hope everyone else is well   x 

I am waiting on hearing back from Hull, i received a letter from them last week to say that will start the ball rolling with councellors and social workers. Can anyone let me know what the social workers involvement is? Is it just so they can see that the baby would come to a happy home? My Dr has sent off forms which i received from Hull to give to my Dr, my Dr has sent this form off saying there is no reason why myself and my partner should not have a child. I still think once it goes to panel i will be turned down on my age and the fact that i have had two chemical pregnancies. Do i have to pay the fee's for councellors and social workers? I'm assuming this is just to gather as much info as poss to hand to Ethic's committee.

Holly x


----------



## Diane72

Hi Holly,


I did my transfer in Greece so don't know about the whole UK system-didn't want you to think I was ignoring you   


Diane x


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hey hollly,
Again, I have no idea. We opted  for international. Don't no the ins and outs of uk. Wishing you lots of luck. X


----------



## napy

Thanks Holly - Best of luck to you!


----------



## HEC

Thank you so much everyone for your congrats and support. It's great to share with you all and especially exciting to think that we are at the same stage, Napy. Yes, a long and worrying road ahead but we'll try to keep busy and focus on other things... Probably fail dismally!
Love to you all
H x


----------



## lily17

Anyone else inducing lactation??


OMG this pumping lark is very gruelling every 3 hours!!! I have only been doing it 3 days, Im already fed up, I have had a little bit of increase in the milk production, it has gone from a couple of drops, to a  few drops, to now around 5 mil each time I pump, You are supposed to pump during the night at around 3 am, but I have failed to do it, as Im too tired!!!!, so have flopped back into bed!! I am making the effort to try tonight!! You are supposed to take fennugreek seeds and blessed thistle as well, but I am concerned about the side effect of unregulated herbs, any one have any opinion on this?
Lily x


----------



## napy

Hi Lily,
  Two years ago when my daughter was born I induced lacatation.  And yes, it was very gruelling as you say. I ended up getting only about 1 oz. per side at the most by the time our daughter was born.  I did nurse right away with her in the hospital and she seemed to take to it, but it was never enough for her and we supplemented with a bottle, and then she eventually preferred only the bottle.  I took the herbs as well. All I can say is try to hang in there! That's great that you are doing this.


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi ladies.

How's everyone doing? Xx


----------



## Holly82

Hiya  

Hope everyone is well and enjoying this gorgeous weather? x

I have a app this Wed which was quite short notice as i have only just recieved the letter this morning. It is "formal in depth Welfare of the Child Assessment. Can anyone tell me what this might involve?

Thank you 

Holly x


----------



## SamanthaB

Just to let everyone know, I gave birth via c-section on Thursday, to a very healthy 8lb 10oz little boy.  He's doing great and is at home now with his mummy and daddy! <3 xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Congratulations Samantha. That's great news. Xxxx


----------



## SamanthaB

Thank you, I know I have. The look on the mums face when she saw her son was worth it all! Xx


----------



## Diane72

Sam, that is truly wonderful news- you have helped create a miracle. My life has totally transformed since we finally held our baby in our arms. I can hand on heart say I am overwhelmed with joy and happiness every second of every day after 7 years of some of the most painful days of my life. congratulations!!!!!

Diane x


----------



## HEC

Brilliant news, Sam B. What a star you are!
Hope everyone is doing well. Lily, you must be anxiously waiting now?!!!
We had our 1st scan on Thursday at 5 weeks, 5 days and we have one baby, securely attached and with a strong heart beat apparently - though we can't really see much more than what looks like a grey pea on the scans! Still, we are very excited to have our 1st baby pics (both cried those tears of joy again) and are trying not to get too confident too soon - but without wanting to worry all the time until we get to 12 weeks. Seems so far away but we have lots of visitors over the summer so I'm sure the time will go quickly - and then there'll be too much to focus on!

Next scan will be in about 3 weeks. We have nothing but praise for New Life Georgia at the moment from our experiences with this second attempt. Tamara who deals with all the IVF side of things sent us the confirmation of pregnancy and the updates as soon as she got the reports - the same day as the tests were done. We have now been moved to Ia who looks after confirmed IPs and pregnant surrogates and she is just as helpful. I pinged her a message an hour ago in response to one she sent me yesterday and another reply has just come through. It certainly helps make things less stressful - and we definitely need that!
Good luck to everyone and lots of hugs.
H x


----------



## SamanthaB

Congratulations HEC. Hope your next scan comes round quickly for you, and that everything is fine!  xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

That's fab news hec! Xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

AR- so glad the 12 week scan went well! I thought that I would relax after 12 weeks, but no, just as worried as ever! 17 week scan on Monday- eeeek! Don't know if to be worried or excited! Lol!

When is your next scan?

I love weddings! I would love, love to be a wedding planner! Hope your finishing touches are coming together nicely.

Daisy 

Xx


----------



## Diane72

AR,


Great news on the scan    and Good luck for the wedding   


D


----------



## DaisyMaisy

That is so sweet. I think that is a fab idea, to make a book. It's strange isn't it already loving something so much! I already love our babies unconditionally.

I like your idea of living in the moment- I'm gonna try it! We have worked so hard to get to this point, a point where I thought we would never get. I'm gonna try not to worry until Monday morning as at the moment, I am 16+3 weeks pregnant!

Good luck for the next scan, and have fun wedding planning! The scan will come round so quick as you will be so busy.

Daisy

Xxxx


----------



## napy

HEC congratulations on getting a good heartbeat!  We also have a heartbeat!  They heard it last week around 5 weeks and 5 days too.

AR and DaisyMaisy, good luck with your next scans!  Congratulations Sam B - you are truly an angel.  

Napy


----------



## HEC

Thank you so much everyone. It's so reassuring to have such support, especially as we aren't daring to tell anyone other than close family until we get to 12 weeks (fingers and toes firmly crossed). I've started a journal for our little 'pippin' and just pray I'm not tempting fate.

So glad all is going well, Napy and Daisy Maisy. How exciting about your wedding, Anna Rosie! Enjoy every minute.

Also, just to say a big thanks to all of you who have babies in your arms but who are still making time to post on here - it really helps!

Love to you all.
H x


----------



## Diane72

Congrats Napy on the heartbeat


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Yeah that's great news napy!


AR- we also just get documents sent over, but we did ask for a recording of the heartbeats, which they did send us. They also send us videos, which are amazing.


Xxxx


----------



## napy

Thanks everyone! AnnaRosie, no we did not actually hear the heartbeat, we just get emails too.

For us parents having babies through surrogacy, we should call it the 9 month wait instead of the 2 week wait! It's so hard to not let this consume me.  We just got back from a vacation and I did manage to live in the moment most of the time while on it, now since I'm back at home it's harder to be that way.  

Take care everyone!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hey ladies!

Recieved my official letter from my head teacher today to state when my maternity leave starts! Whooo hoodoo! One whole year off as from December!

Xxx


----------



## Diane72

Great Daisy! Good news as legally they don't have to.


Although it should be a legal right like adoption leave and if you carried your own child. It does frustrate me that I have paid significantly more taxes than many and if I had a functional womb I'd be getting statutory maternity pay now that my employer's maternity pay has finished but as I have a medical condition I have to go back to work in order to earn money before the year and my baby misses out. The law needs to be updated to make us equal to other Mums!!!


Diane


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

DM that is grab news xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Still waiting to find out what pay he will give me, but always nice knowing that I have a job to go back to. Especially when I am intitled to nothing! Whooo hooo! Was nice getting the letter- makes it more real! Can't believe that after the summer holidays, only 10 weeks of work left!


Xxxxx


----------



## HEC

DM that's great news. So much to look forward to!
Like Napy, we just had a message with the scan about the heartbeat but it is so reassuring. As you say, though, it seems such a long wait ahead but it will definitely be worth every minute! 
Love to all x


----------



## DaisyMaisy

It just seems scary saying that I will be on mat leave! Exciting tho!

Re heartbeats- we asked our clinic to send us a recording, which they did. Could you not ask? I cried when I heard them, but I generally cry at every scan pic, video, item of clothing anyway! Lol! 



Xxx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hey ladies. 

Had the scan today- all is well. Both babies are fine and the cervix has increased to 4.6cm!  Now to shop! Lol! Xxxxxx


----------



## HEC

Brilliant news DM! Enjoy the shopping. So much fun! 

Miainlondon, I've tried to PM you in response to your message but your mailbox is full I'm afraid.
Hope everyone is OK.
H x


----------



## Diane72

Great news DM!!! Enjoy shopping!


Dx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Oh dear me, I have bought lots of things, which I probably shouldn't have! Lol! Bought two cot mobiles, two sleeping bags and two sets if cot bedding!


Xxxxx


----------



## SamanthaB

Enjoy your shopping DaisyMaisy.  xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thank you ladies.

Hope everyone else is ok? 


Xxxx


----------



## napy

That's wonderful news DaisyMaisy!  We got some ultrasound pictures today too - everything is going good at 7 weeks 5 days!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Yeah! That's great news napy! Good news all round.



Happy days. 


Xxxxxx


----------



## Diane72

Great news napy!!!  


Dx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Omg! Just received the videos and they are amazing! Sat crying! Lol! One even has a little yawn! Xxxxxx


----------



## Diane72

How precious! Wonderful Daisy   


D x


----------



## HEC

Oh wow! That's so wonderful Daisy. 
Great to hear all is going so well, Napy. More for the photo album already!
H x


----------



## lily17

Dear surrogacy Ladies


Just wanted to let you know our surrogate baby "Charles Henry" arrived on 29th July at 1.44pm- 9lbs 15oz 
He is now at home with us and the fun begins!....we are tired and the house looks like we have been burgled...but we are loving it , he is so beautiful.
Eternal thanks to our lovely surrogate Julia.


Our 6 year journey is over, a new chapter begins....
Good luck ladies, remember the mantra " there is only one sure way to success, and that is to continue"


Lily x


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Congratulations lily!  That is fantastic news!!!!

Xx


----------



## SamanthaB

Congratulations lily, 9lb 15oz :O xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Lily congratulations on the birth of your son xx


----------



## napy

Thanks so much for sharing your news with us Lily! Congratulations to you and your family!  How is the breastfeeding going?

DaisyMaisy - your video sounds like it was so cute.  Can I ask which clinic you are with in Ukraine?


----------



## Diane72

Lily, 


Wonderful news!! Congratulations!!!      


Diane x


----------



## olinaiti

congrats to samantha b and lily . wonderful thing you've done samantha ! I'm so happy for you lily !!!! it'll be hard in the beginning but gets easier trust me. Rose is now 3m, 14 w . time goes quickly looking after her and my son on summer holidays.
congrats on everyone else's good scan etc news too!


----------



## HEC

Oh brilliant news, Lily. Congratulations! Enjoy every minute and who cares what the house looks like? Just revel in being a mummy!
H


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hey ladies. Hope everyone is doing ok? We had our 19 week scan yesterday and both babies are still perfect!  

Xxxx


----------



## HEC

That's great DaisyMaisy! Nearly half way to holding your little ones! We are waiting for our 10 week scan and keeping fingers crossed that all is well. Hope everyone else is doing OK. xxxxx


----------



## SamanthaB

Congrats daisy and HEC,  Daisy do you know what sex the babies are? Xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thank you ladies. Nearly half way and counting! Lol!

Hec, when is your scan?

As we had cvs testing at 8 weeks, we know what we r having! We r having a boy and a girl! Though I have no idea which is which from the scan. I can defo see bits on the boy when the clinic send us videos! But when viewed together, I have no idea! Lol.

Glad everyone is well. 


Xxxxx


----------



## SamanthaB

Aw that's lovely. Congratulations! Xx


----------



## napy

That's wonderful DaisyMaisy that everything is going great and that you are having a boy and a girl!  HEC, good luck on your next scan. We have one next week too - can't wait to see the updated pictures to see how much our little fighter has grown!


----------



## HEC

Thanks Napy. We have just had our scan pics through - 9 weeks 4 days and our little one is growing well, no abnormalities and a strong heartbeat. Just amazing! We have spent the last hour looking at just what stage our tiny 'grape' is at the moment and it just takes your breath away to see what he/she is like already! We can't wait for the magical 12 week hurdle - and I'm afraid I haven't when it comes to knitting as I've made a rabbit and a blanket already, courtesy of time spent watching the Olympics! Oh well...

Hope everyone is doing well. Best wishes to all x


----------



## DaisyMaisy

That's fab news ladies on the scans! I love getting the pics and videos through. It is amazing how much they grow each time! Next scan for us is on the 3rd sep, so at 22 weeks. I'm sure I will be my normal panicked self a few days before! Lol

I'm very impressed with your knitting! I'm just not that creative. But I will be buying lots more again soon.....


Xxxxx


----------



## napy

Ha Ha HEC!  I'm very impressed with your knitting too, and I know what you mean about waiting to get over the 12 week hurdle, but then not being too good at it.  My husband and I have an ongoing discussion about names.  We will probably spend the next six months talking about this!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Me and dh always discuss names!! We have one boys name that we are sure of and two girls names that we both love! Ummmmm, decisions, decisions...... It's something I never thought I would get to do! I love it!  


Xxxxx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

20 weeks today! Half way through!  xxxx


----------



## Nahla

Hallo Everybody,
I am new here...
at the moment we are still trying ICSI without surrogate...we gave us two more chances. but I am already thinking about looking for a surrogate...
Would You mind telling me a bit about it?
Have all of You found a surrogate in the UK? How did You find them? Or is anybody doing it in the United States? It must be a lot easier there; but rather expensive and all the flights...
All of You sound so happy! At the moment my DP is not completely convinced, that it`s a good idea... 
How is the relationship with the surrogate? And how does it work after birth? Are You directly named as the parents in the birth certificate?
So many questions...You might have already discussed it weeks or months ago? 

I am so happy that I have found this community


----------



## tisonlyme

Hi all - i haven't posted on here for ages now but I thought i would check in and join this thread as our wonderful surro is 16 weeks with baby Tis   Am sooo excited!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Tis, that is fab news! Congratulations! Our surrogate is currently 20 weeks pg with twins. Do u know what you are having?


Xxx


----------



## MissSplendid

Hi. 

Just wanted to quickly post to say congrats to DaisyMaisy on your latest scan. So exciting!

I am still reading lots about Surrogacy and deciding what the best route is for us. 

Thank you for sharing all your stories. Xx


----------



## tisonlyme

Thank you.
We don't know what we are having yet - we have our 20 wk scan mid september and we are trying to decide whether to find out or not!! How exciting - twins!!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thank you. I am very excited. All of the time! I think in beginning to get on dh's nerves! Lol.


----------



## napy

Congrats DaisyMaisy on passing the 20 week mark!  And also Tisonlyme for joining in at 16 weeks!  Our surrogate is now 13 weeks (I've switched to counting the way the doctors do so it might sound like we are further along than the last time I reported).  We are now breathing a big sigh of relief and recently got some wonderful ultrasound pictures that show the baby so clearly!

Nahla, to answer some of your questions.  I have a two year old that was carried by an American surrogate mother.  It is very expensive in the US, but if your surrogate lives in a surro-friendly state you can get a pre-birth order and have your names put directly on the birth certificate. That's what we did.  After our daughter was born we stayed in the room next to our surrogate mother and our daughter stayed with us most of the time.  When she wasn't with us, she was with our surrogate mother for a few hours at a time.  For a sibling, we went to Ukraine because it is so expensive in the US.  Our names will be put directly on the birth certificate.  Best of luck whatever you decide!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Napy, congratulations on passing the 12 week mark!


----------



## tisonlyme

haha daisy RE the other half - my hubby thinks i am obsessed with prams and pushchairs.....so much choice....lol


----------



## tisonlyme

napy - congrats on passing that 12 week mark


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Tisonlyme, but don't you just Love it !!!That's all I want to do is talk about it all of the time! Waited soooooo long! I'm just hoping the next 20 weeks goes as quick, and hopefully not as eventful! 


Xx


----------



## ErIndoorz

Hi all
This is my very first post on this site. I haven't got to grips with all the abbreviations yet but sure I will do in time! 

I have recently had my agreement meeting with my IP's, they have their embryos already and we are ready to get started - just trying to find the right clinic!

I've read through lots of the posts on this thread and am so happy for you all.
I look forward to getting to know you all 
Kelly x


----------



## napy

Thanks everyone and welcome ErIndoorz! It's so nice to have surrogate mothers in this thread too!


----------



## TeamD

Hello everyone!  I'm sorry I've been absent from here for a while, but I have been thinking of you all....

Read some pretty amazing posts on here! 

Napy and HEC, congrats on the pregnancies, sounds all so wonderful and great you are both at the same stage to share your journeys.

Sam you are truly AMAZING! Congratulations to you are your IPs on the birth of a very healthy size boy! I think you should update your signature with something like "I gave the most amazing gift to a couple that anyone could ever give".

Annarosie, are you now a married woman?! I am thinking you might be honeymooning, hope it all went well and that you are enjoying life, seems you had a fab 12 week scan, congratulations!

DaisayMaisey, a boy and girl!!! Awesome! Congratulations Hun!

Lily, congratulations! 9lb 15! Wowzer! Hope you, hubby and Charles are doing well, cherish every moment 

Great to see some new faces on here, welcome Nahla, Miss splendid, erindoorz and tisonlyme. Congrats tisonlyme on your pregnancy! Erindoorz, you are a wonderful person 

Diane, oilainti, JJ, hope you are all well xx

Afm... Me and hubby have spent a lot of time trying to make decisions on our next steps. We have made the decisions finally and I'm pretty nervous about it all but I need to be a mum.  We have decided to go with SCI Delhi and we are going in October.  They have just launched their CGH testing service so we are going to have our embies tested to check if we are making normal embryos - I am 37 have endometriosis and AMH of 6.3pcoml which I believe is low. So, we are hoping that the tests will reveal we have some good embryos and that we arent hitting our heads against brick walls, at least we will have answers. We did look at doing CGH in uk but its a lot more expensive and they freeze the embryos after testing whereas in India they do a live transfer as soon as the results return. Bit nervous though as so far we only seem to have 2 blasts or even 1 blast left 

One thing we aren't sure of is who to approach here locally to advise them of our plans to ensure there are no problems if we are successful?! Do we tell immigration or get a lawyer?! Does anyone know please?

Got to start looking at accommodation next, daunting! 

Spent yesterday remembering our little boy who we lost at 22 wks 5 years ago, can't believe it's been so long and can believe we are still fighting to be parents 

Again, sorry for being away for so long.

Big hugs all  

TeamD xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi teamd, goodness me, it seems like you gave had a lot going on. I'm glad that you have made some final decisions and that you are getting the ball rolling. I would defo recommend a lawyer. Our lawyers have been great and it's reassuring to know that someone knows what needs to be done and when, especially when I have no clue!

Erindoors, you are a wonderful person. I'm so glad that you gave found the right ip's! Exciting!

Afm, we are 21 weeks tomorrow!  I still worry every single second of every single day!

Xx


----------



## SamanthaB

TeamD. Sorry 2 hear of your loss, u r very brave for carrying on. 
Good luck with testing the embryos and I hope you get good results, also thank you very much little baby is very happy and healthy with his mum and dad. He is gorgeous!! Xx


----------



## SamanthaB

Daisymaisy. Congrats on 21 weeks! Xx


----------



## TeamD

Thanks DM and Sam  DM, I'm definitely going to look for a lawyer, thanks.

Is anyone in this thread on the ** group?

teamD xx


----------



## SamanthaB

TeamD I am! I just sent a message on there asking if that was you, xx


----------



## napy

TeamD, so nice to hear from you!  I had been wondering what you had decided to do.  I'm glad you decided to continue with your quest to have a child in India.  I have a good feeling that things are going to work for you soon!

Congrats DaisyMaisy on 21 weeks!  We are at 14 weeks today - it seems like time is going slow and fast all at the same time. Does anyone else feel the same way?  Each week seems slow, but when I look back and think that we are already at 14 weeks it seems that time has gone by fast.

Napy


----------



## Nahla

Hallo ladies, 
I am reading your posts from time to time and wonder if we should go the same way...
Almost all of You sound so positive...
Congratulations...
Actually we are trying another cycle of IVF, but I am already checking out the alternatives.
Thank You, Napy for the answers...
For us, I think, it will be either US or Cyprus/ US surrogacy program. 
In Ukraine You have to be married I guess.
All the best for all of 
You
Xx


----------



## ErIndoorz

TeamD said:


> Thanks DM and Sam  DM, I'm definitely going to look for a lawyer, thanks.
> 
> Is anyone in this thread on the ** group?
> 
> teamD xx


I am! xx


----------



## ErIndoorz

DaisyMaisy said:


> Hi teamd, goodness me, it seems like you gave had a lot going on. I'm glad that you have made some final decisions and that you are getting the ball rolling. I would defo recommend a lawyer. Our lawyers have been great and it's reassuring to know that someone knows what needs to be done and when, especially when I have no clue!
> 
> Erindoors, you are a wonderful person. I'm so glad that you gave found the right ip's! Exciting!
> 
> Afm, we are 21 weeks tomorrow!  I still worry every single second of every single day!
> 
> Xx


DaisyMaisy thank you for ur kind words & congrats to u on ur 21 weeks!!  
Try not to worry too much xx
xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

AR congratulations! I hope u had a fab day! How exciting, married and babies in the same year. 
I can indeed see your ticker and congrats on ur lovely surrogate being 17 weeks. We have another scan tomorrow so now in official worry/panic mode! :/ But fingers crossed everything will be ok. It's really scary how quick things are going. Do u find that? Also have any of you lovely ladies told many people about your surrogacy journey?

Xx


----------



## SamanthaB

Congratulations AR! Xx


----------



## napy

Congratulations AnnaRosie on your marriage and recent scan.  I think telling less people is probably better - that's what we did for our daughter who is now 2-1/2.  After she was born I told a few people we had a surrogate mother carry her when they would say something like "I didn't even know you were pregnant!"  But then they would forget all about it months later.  It's like we never had that previous conversation!  I also found that people didn't ask me many questions about the surrogacy journey or our surrogate mother.  Once our daughter was here, they were paying attention only to her!


----------



## TeamD

Thank you Napy I sure hope so! Congrats on the 14 week mark, getting there! Exciting! 

Xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

We haven't really told anyone, just a few good friends. 

We had our 22 week scan today and both babies are doing well. The cervix is now  4.36 cm which is very reassuring! We only had one video tho, which is a little disappointing as I would like to have seen both babies, but hay ho. But all is well. They are beginning to look like actual babies! You can really see one of their noses on the video! Oh no, here I go again....all I do us cry!   the clinic also sent through their estimated weights- 1 lb and 1.3lb.

Hope all you ladies are well. 

Daisy. Xxxx


----------



## Rowan22

Hi Annarosie,

Sorry to crash the thread but I just noticed this and thought of an  idea. Why not just say something like 'there's going to be a baby in the family' if anyone asks? That way, you don't have to explain your circs (and I wouldn't want to tell everybody, personally) but it's perfectly true!
I'd want to do the shopping, too, we've all waited long enough to wander round Mothercare and find some really nice things!   
Congrats on the scans, by the way! You are definitely getting there!

Rowanxx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thank you. Every week is a week closer to my dream. Still worry a lot tho! Lol! I just don't take any notice tbh! I have waited a long time to go baby shopping and I'm gonna enjoy it! Yes, I do get some strange looks at the till and puzzled looks over the lack of bump, but I don't care. It's my tern to go baby shopping after trying so hard to have them. 
I did get followed around bentalls by the sales assistant as I was carrying two baby outfits around. She backed off when she saw dh and I talking about cots. When she asked me at the till if they were for me, I proudly said yes, because it is for me. When she asked when I was due, I said next year as my babies r due next year. She then assumed that I was in the very early stage.
I think you need to do what you are happy with. In happy to go into a shop and not worry what others think. To be fair, dh notices it more than me! Once I'm in there, im like a woman possessed! I love baby shopping. It's my new favourite thing. 

Xxxx


----------



## MissSplendid

Hi everyone, 

Lots of lovely news on here. I've only been popping on occasionally as we still want to have one more IVF cycle before thinking about Surrogacy. 

I just wanted to say how inspirational you all are. 

Daisy- you should shop to your heart's content. You deserve it! When will you start making arrangements to go out for the birth? How long do you have to stay out there for? 

Xxx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

I do love the shopping, although we r not getting the nursery furniture until after 28 weeks.  The clinic will indicate a time for us to come. We could be away for up to 3 months, so I have now started getting 3-6 months clothes for when we are back! Only 84 days till maternity leave! Whoop, whoop!

Xxx


----------



## Rowan22

Sorry, Daisy, the reply was meant for you, of course. (Blush!)   
That's what I get for not checking names before I hit post!
I would shop as much as you want (clever response to the shop assistant, by the way!) and I hope it won't be too long before I can do the same!

Rowanxx


----------



## Rowan22

Hi AR,

Of course the reply should have been to both of you. I will get it right sooner or later!   
I think a comment about expecting a baby in the family is nice and neutral. After all, it could be your sister who's expecting or a cousin and it's the truth. Hopefully, the shop assistant won't ask any more questions. I think you all deserve to have a good time shopping for baby things. You've waited so long and gone through so much to get to this point after all!
By the way, are any of you on the ******** group?

Rowanxx


----------



## Rowan22

Hi Sam,

Yes, that name rings a bell! It seems like a supportive, helpful group. I'll post to you on there, so you know who I am.

Rowanxx


----------



## SamanthaB

Rowan I've just been deleted off there along with a few others. The admin on there are unreal.


----------



## Diane72

Hello All,

Just wanted to say wonderful to hear about the good news on the thread on scans and say hello! We're just back from our first trip abroad on holiday with baby after finally getting through all the legal process and getting a passport. Daddy turned 40 aswell.

Hugs to everyone!

Diane x


----------



## Diane72

P.S. re the topic on who to tell about the surrogacy. I'm just honest with people and many a shop assistant has even shed a tear saying what a beautiful story after they asked me who the baby clothes were for before my miracle was born. For me personally, it's kind of a mission that the more I talk about it openly the more the prejudices will go away. So many things in our recent history have had people hold prejudices because it was unfamiliar and people were uneducated about the issue. I always think if I can handle 7 miscarriages, I can handle a few small-minded people but I certainly have met some of them along the way!


----------



## Rowan22

Hi Sam,

I think you might want to have a look at that ******** group. There seems to be an issue tonight. 
I don't comment, especially as I've only just joined, and you're going to get odd arguments in any group of people, especially a 'virtual' community but well, have a look. PM me if you want.

Rowanxx


----------



## Rowan22

Ah, I posted before I saw your last post, Sam!
Sorry. 

Rxxx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Diane that's great news!


----------



## SamanthaB

pm'd you Rowan


----------



## Rowan22

It hasn't come through yet, Sam. Do messages have to be approved or something before we get them?

Rxx


----------



## SamanthaB

i sent u a pm on here, xx


----------



## Rowan22

Sorry, Sam, it hasn't reached my mailbox. Don't know why.

Rxxx


----------



## Rowan22

Have done, Samxx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Waters have broken. Devastated.


----------



## SamanthaB

Sorry to hear that daisy. Hope everything is ok. Xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Eva-Lynn and Joshua born too soon at 23+1, on 12th September. I am a mummy of two angels. Heartbroken.


----------



## SamanthaB

Daisy I am so sorry to hear that. Massive hugs xxx


----------



## Diane72

Oh DaisyMay, I'm so, so, so sorry. No words I can give you are enough at this time. I have tears for you as I write, totally devastating. Sending you and your DH lots of love and hugs for each day just now. I don't know if you have heard of an organisation called 'Saying Goodbye' (http://www.sayinggoodbye.org/ ) . They hold services across the country for people who have lost tiny ones to remember their precious babies along with other parents in the same position.

Nothing I can say will make it better, but I am sending hugs   

Diane xxx


----------



## napy

DaisyMaisy, I am so so sorry to hear about this. Like Diane said, there just aren't any words to express to help you feel better about this.  I will pray that you and your DH can find some peace and the will to keep going and give it another try.


----------



## Holly82

Daisy - i'm so sorry and upset to read this today. Take care of yourself and your DH ^hugme. I also pray that you can find the strenght to try again when you are ready. So sorry.x


----------



## Allen

OMG, I'm so, so sorry!!  It terrible (( Life can be so unjust. I only wish you to rehabilitate and start a new journey, because it's the only way.


----------



## Stretch

daisy - I am truly devastated for you. What beautiful names for two beautiful angels, take your time sweetie


----------



## MissSplendid

Daisy- I am absolutely gutted for you. Just don't know what to say. So, so sorry xxx


----------



## olinaiti

Daisy , I am so so sorry about your horrible news . Don't know what to say but am sending our love and best wishes for your family's future . I wish I could help . Hugs . 
Anna


----------



## TeamD

Oh Daisy I am so sorry to read this. Big hugs to you and DH. When we lost our son I found much support through Sands charity forum, they have people you can call to talk to also. Take your time and find a special way to say goodbye. 
Such beautiful names. Thinking of you and sending you strength. 
Lots of love. 
TeamD xxxxxxxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Dairsy-May I am so sorry for your sad losses, my heart goes out to you at this very sad time xxx


----------



## Rowan22

Daisy, I am so very sorry. Terrible news.   
Please look after yourself and give yourself time.

Rowanxx


----------



## foreverhopeful

OMG Daisy, how utterly devastating for you. I am so sorry to read this dreadful news. Life can be so cruel. 


Team D....How is it going for you? I have nt been on for a while (very busy). But just pooped on to have a little catch up.  I ve had to change my user name for some reason (formerly Sopical).


best wishes to everyone else.


Jan X


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thank you everyone.


----------



## lily17

Oh no, Daisy    
Dont know what to say- its just awful


you must be heartbroken   


all you can do is grieve for your loss, re-assess, and decide what you do next


Thoughts are with you


Lily x


----------



## TeamD

Hi sopical!! Lovely to hear from you! How are you doing?!

Well we are only days away from going to India! Off to see dr Shivani at SCI. Hoping this is the trip! 4th time lucky and I'm sure India is a 'lucky' place?! Protocol is slightly different this time, have a growth hormone to take which I've never done before and I've been taking DHEA for 3 months plus omega 3. Surrogate is of course different and clinic. Plus we are having CGH testing so we will find out if the few embies we are actually making are chromosonally normal. So, many different factors this time. Very apprehensive, have never been to India but I have heard good things  

Had baseline scan and bloods today, bloods all ok I think, 8 Antral follies which isn't great but not disastrous. 

So, that's us. Just hope this time is the one! It's all so tiring and the cash has gone and we are on to loans 

Hope everyone else is well. Thanks for asking sopical, lovely to hear from you, tell us how you are!

Hugs to you Daisy xxxxx

TeamD 
Xx


----------



## HEC

Tons of luck, Team D! Big hugs for you and everyone, and a very special one for you, Daisy.  Take care.
H (our Tummy Mummy now nearly 16 weeks) x


----------



## napy

Best of luck TeamD on your upcoming cycle!  I'll be thinking about you and hope so much that it works for you and your husband this time.  Great news HEC!


----------



## Diane72

Good luck Team D, hope it all goes smoothly and well     


Congrats HEC on getting to 16 weeks 


Daisy, still thinking of you


Hugs to everyone else   


Diane x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

team D wishing you lads of luck-I'll be really interested and following your journey with excitement xx


----------



## TeamD

Hi all!

Thank you all for your words of support  we have arrived in India and its crazy here! Had a day 6 scan and I'm not responding very well, only got 5 follies  and they're not that bigg  hope this long journey isn't wasted, I just want something to go right for us.

Worrying about lack of protein as you've got to be careful here with meat and milk which are the most important things!

21 weeks Annarosie! Wow times flying! Hope your visa hurries itself on through.  And HEC, time flies again! I remember you joining it only feels like a couple of weeks back!

Hugs to all and a extra squeeze for daisy xx

TeamD
Xx


----------



## MissSplendid

Heaps of luck Team D xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Team D loads of luck- when I was at ARGC and packing in the protein I would eat a tin of tuna before bed (Can you get anything like that there s it would be 'safe' in a tin.

Best wishes
L


----------



## HEC

Fingers firmly crossed, Team D! Just keep positive and get that protein in! Tuna sounds a great idea, JJ1
Great to hear all is going well AnnaRosie and so exciting to be getting your visa sorted - though not as much fun as getting things for the nursery! 
We had a day de-cluttering yesterday and moved everything out of what will be our nursery. Felt so good - just now have to try not to get ahead of ourselves and be too confident. We have started to tell selected people beyond immediate family now too and, so far, responses have been so supportive. We will be older parents so we've always thought most people would think we were irresponsible, even aside from the international surrogacy route. Up to now, that's not been the case at all. Lots think we must be mad to want to go back to sleepless nights (we both have children from earlier marriages but this one will be our only one together), but we freely admit that one! No-one has openly criticised or questioned our decision to have a 'tummy mummy' or to go to Georgia to achieve our dream. We just feel so incredibly blessed and fortunate beyond belief to have got this far, and to have such supportive families and friends - and that includes all of you too!
Love and hugs to you all. H x


----------



## napy

HEC, great to hear everyone is taking the news really good.  We are waiting to tell people in another couple of weeks, hopefully after we find out the gender of our baby.  I can't believe we've managed to keep this is a secret for so long, except for everyone on Fertility Friends of course!  Our two year old is sleeping through the night really good and has been for a long time - it will be hard to go back to getting up every few hours, but worth it!


----------



## HEC

Thanks Napy. I'm already waking several times in the night in readiness I think, though I'm sleeping much better now that close friends know and are so excited and supportive. They just think it's wonderful and are already lining up for babysitting! Our closest friends are even planning a holiday to Tbilisi to stay with us whilst we're there!
13 has always been lucky for my wonderful man and me, so we're just hoping that holds true for 2013.
H x


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi ladies.

Just popping on to see how everyone is doing. Glad things are going well.

Daisy. 

Xxx


----------



## napy

Nice to hear from you DaisyMaisy!  I think about you every day and hope you are doing well.


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thank you. I still have bad days and good days. Xx


----------



## HEC

Hi DaisyMaisy. Good to hear from you. Big hugs for the bad days. x


----------



## TeamD

Hi everyone!
It's great to hear positive stories and discussion from you HEC and Napy  bet you are both so excited 
Thanks for the tuna idea L! Unfortunately on first look we can't find any! I'm eating as much cheese as possible and I've found welsh chocolate milk. I'm eating nuts and seeds we bought over with us everyday. I've just had a chicken meal which was very nice, it's just trusting the restaurants!
So, today, day 11, we had a scan and my 5 follies are now 6  however my day 9 e2 result was only 305 which is apparently quite low so worried about that  another blood test tomorrow so we shall see.
India is AMAZING! Taj mahal yesterday was breath taking, we went with another couple who are hear for surrogacy with dr Shivani, they are lovely, they are from oz. and we have met up with kare72 twice and met their beautiful little girl!  it's so inspiring to meet people who have been successful  and it's wonderful to meet a FF!
Well, it's bed time here. Hope you are all well.
Hugs to all and a special big hug for you daisy, hope you and DH are doing ok xx
TeamD xx


----------



## napy

TeamD, it sounds like you are having a wonderful time in India!  I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you!  Best of luck!  Our surrogate mother is now at 19 weeks. Wow, how the time is flying. Hopefully next week we will find if we are having a boy or a girl!


----------



## olinaiti

Hi !
Just thought I'd pop in to say hi and to see how everyone is doing. Good luck in India TeamD, well done for getting this far Annarosie, napy, HEC and others. Thinking of you Daisy ...
Rose is almost  6M now , can't believe it  She's all grownup , sleeping through the night, nearly crawling , babbling , sampling solid food etc. Time goes so quickly. We have only recently gotten the parental order application to the court system so I expect she'll be possibly 1 y by the time we are done. Other than the letters the lawyer sends I don't think about the issue really. We're in touch with our surrogate but not very often . I kind of keep on forgetting I didn't carry her , I feel just the same about her as I do about my son. We've just gotten on with our life , its all a bit of a blur. Am definitely tired but very happy. 
Good luck to everyone!


----------



## TeamD

Hi AR,

Oh no! That sounds very stressful   I don't understand why they wrote back to your DH? How did they know it was surrogacy related?! Did he apply for a tourist visa? I don't understand why you need a medical visa when you are simply going to collect baby, you aren't doing anything medical?

We are meeting our clinic lawyer today do you want me to ask anything?! The appointment will be about 11am uk time.

Hi ollanti! Great to hear from you and how time flies! I can't believe it will take a year to get the paperwork all sorted, such a long time! It is nice to hear your feelings about not carrying Rose, I do sometimes wonder how it would make me feel not carrying my child but I hear mothers say all the time that they soon forget the pregnancy. I guess it's only 9 months out of many many years.i just hope one day I am a mummy.

Napy, thanks for the good wishes and look forward to hearing if you having a boy or a girl!

AFM... We have egg collection tomorrow, had to do trigger shot at 05:30am!   I now have 7 mature size follies however my estrogen is only 420 which is not a good sign  I believe mature follies should give off about 200 estrogen each so we are way out! I therefore think they are either poor quality or there are some empty ones. All so stressful 

I'll let you all know how we get on... Hopefully I'll have some good news, fingers crossed...  

Hugs to all...  
TeamD xx


----------



## Diane72

AnnaRosie, 


What a nightmare, all I can suggest is I found Natalie Gamble here in the UK incredibly knowledgable and international cases are her forte. Thinking of you in this incredibly stressful period. xxxx


Team D. good luck with your appointment and EC. I can hand on heart say it makes no difference to me that I did not carry my precious daughter, I am 100% her Mummy and her Auntie who 'baby-sat' her is in her life just like I am in my nephews life. The worry about it all melts away the minute you hold that miracle in your arms and maternal instinct takes over.


Olinaiti, lovely to hear Rose is doing well


Hec, Napy glad all is going well.


Daisy, still thinking of you,   


Hugs to everyone else


Dx


----------



## Diane72

AnnaRosie,


Try not to think of 'what ifs' (easier said than done) just take one step at a time and work through it. It must be phenomenally stressful. Sending lots of hugs.   


D x


----------



## TeamD

Hi all, quick me post. Just back from ER... 5 eggs retrieved, not too bad I guess, was worried we'd have less. Fingers crossed for good fertilisation!
Hugs all...
Night night xx


----------



## Diane72

Hi Team D,


A good number of eggs. I'll keep everything crossed for fertilisation       


D x


----------



## sopical

Hi. I keep popping on to see how you are all getting on.


Annarosie...wow what a lot of stress you must be under. The stuff you wrote almost seems unbelievable, surely it cannot apply to you given you started your journey before they bought out these new rules? Im sure you will find solutions to all the red tape they seem to be throwing at you. As if this whole process is nt frightening enough??


Team D......I am keeping everything crossed for tomorrows news from you. It only takes one.


As for me, my boys are sleeping soundly in their cot next to my bed! They are smiling and their little characters are starting to shine through. Its flipping hard work and im feeling every one of my 40 years! But they are worth it and I would nt change a thing for the world.  They have been here since June and I am still getting people coming up to me saying...."oh, they are yours? How did I miss you being pregnant with twins?" And then I have to tell the story all over again. Not that I mind. I draw the line at telling everyone though. An example....I was in boots buying nappies and the woman behind the counter asked me if i had just had a baby, I said yes, twins. She went right over the top saying how wonderful I looked. I was quite understated and just said thank you quietly, but she obviously thought i was being too modest and continued to announce to the rest of the que about me just having twins and did nt i look marvellous.......hmmmmm very funny and a bit fraudulent, but it just did nt feel appropriate to tell the whole shop my story!!!!!   


My news is always received with joy and often emotional tears .  If I am totally honest, I still can't believe we have been lucky enough for this to be our story. It always feels like this sort of thing only happens to other people!


Good luck to you all where ever you are on your journeys. My heart goes out to Daisymaisy and I think of you often. 


Jan X


----------



## TeamD

Hi AR!

I've been on a long journey home, back last night, so glad to be home but India is amazing!
We haven't heard much from SCI, they don't seem to tell you much. 
All I know is that 3 of our 5 eggs fertilised. Not great but we just hope they are fighters. Will keep you posted.

Well done with your visa week! Keeping everything crossed for you 

Sopical, your story is wonderful, be proud of it  and you have no reason to feel a fraud! at least they are complimenting you, they could've said you can tell you've just had twins lol!

Big hugs everyone  

TeamD xx


----------



## sopical

Hi....Very excited for you team D. Fingers toes and everything for you. Keep us up to speed!   Lol @ could have said I look like I ve just had twins!! I had nt thought of that! Although I have had one person say to me that she had thought I was pregnant!!   


Hi everyone. Hope AR is managing to keep calm.   


Jan X


----------



## HEC

Sending lots of luck to you, Team D and Anna Rosie hope all goes well. Sopical, so lovely to hear your experience. Just enjoy it all! Any news on your scan Napy? We are 18 weeks today and apparently our baby is the size of a bell pepper ! Better than an onion last week but looking forward to when he/she is a fruit again! 
Big hugs to all
H x


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hey ladies. Just seeing what's going on. Hoping to be starting again soon. Missing Joshua and Eva everyday. Xxxx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hey ladies.

This week has been national stillbirth week all over the world. There is a wave of light taking place on monday at 7pm where you light a candle for one hour in memory of a child/children who has been still born. Can I be really cheeky, and ask you all to light a candle at 7pm on Monday in memory of Joshua and Eva?
I just want them to know that people are thinking of them?

Thank you ladies.

Xxx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thank you AR. Xxxx


----------



## TeamD

Hi all,

Daisy, thank you for sharing, we will be lighting a candle for our son and 2 more for joshua and Eva, it's not cheeky at all. It's great that you are thinking about your next steps, keep us posted, big hugs  

AR, oh dear  sorry about your premature celebration! 6 weeks isn't too long, fingers crossed   the future piece is very good, thanks for sharing. As for SCI, I'm hoping no news is good news also. I might write today for an update but I'm so scared! Your wish for a better tomorrow is very apt as it'll be tomorrow we get the CGH test results  

Sopical, yes, get your bat out lol!  

HEC, congrats on the bell pepper, I think they are quite pretty! Actually, I think in nature terms they would be classed as a fruit? They have seeds in them? Does that make them a fruit?! I'm trying!

Wishing you all a great tomorrow xx

TeamD
Xx


----------



## napy

Hi everyone!  Our surrogate mother was supposed to have an appointment and it got rescheduled until Monday.  We found this out on Friday.  So, I have no news to report right now.  We recently had some big problems with a Western Union money transfer to our surrogate mother. The agency told us she was stressing out over it not being there, so I ended up sending a second payment that would get there in just minutes. The last thing I want is her stressing out over this.  Hopefully the first money transfer will get there on Monday. The bank decided to hang onto our funds for three business days.  That's why we had a big delay with the first transfer.  The second transfer was made with a credit card.  

Great to hear from you Sopical and glad everything is going so good.  For our two year old daughter, I had the same thing. People would say "I never knew you were pregnant!"  For some I would tell them the story, for others I just smiled.

Daisy, I will be sure to light two candles on Monday for Joshus and Eva.

Great news HEC!

TeamD, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!  

AnnaRosie, I hope you get your visa problems sorted out soon!

Hopefully on Monday we will know whether we are having a boy or a girl!

Take care everyon!


----------



## TeamD

Hi all, just a quick vent... Still no news, I'm confused! It's day 5 post ER and we are doing CGH testing so maybe results aren't back and they're doing day 6?! Or it all went wrong and they'll tell me tomorrow?! Or no news is good news?! Urghhh allll soooo stressful! 
Big hugs all
TeamD xx


----------



## TeamD

Thanks AR! I'm so stressed, it doesn't get easier  I'm struggling to sleep  and I'm
At work tomorrow and don't want bad news on first day back, might have to leave phone at home!!
Big hugs xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Team d, I know it's very stressful, but I would defo go with the no news is good news mentality. If something was wrong, they would tell you straight away. Easier said than done, I know.

Good luck.

Xxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

fingrerscrossd TeamD so hope that they are doing their thing in the lab xx


----------



## TeamD

Hi Girls, thank you for all your support.  I'm so trying not to stress but its sooooo hard!  I'm at work today for the first time in 2 weeks and its so hard to concentrate and I didn't sleep very well at all!
Have a fab day all xx   xx


----------



## MissSplendid

Good luck TeamD and Annarosie. 

Daisy - glad to hear you are beginning to think about next steps.

Xx


----------



## napy

Hi everyone,  we found out today that we are having a girl!  Everything is going good at 20 weeks.  

TeamD, I hope you hear something soon from the clinic.


----------



## TeamD

Hi All,

Congrats on your little girl Napy 

Well, as I thought, its doom and gloom news for us.  Of our 3 fertilised eggs, 2 made it to test day and both came back chromosonally abnormal.  Yet another £10k down the loo.  I don't know what to do  we've got no money now and i'm so desperate to become a mummy and i really wanted to use my eggs 

I found out by email whilst at work just now.  Hubby is also at work but I can't bring myself to tell him during his afternoon, its horrible, how do you concentrate like this?!  Its his birthday tomorrow too 

Today sucks.

Sorry all xx


----------



## napy

Oh TeamD, my heart goes out to you.  I'm so sorry that things didn't work this time.


----------



## TeamD

Thanks guys xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Oh TeamD i am so sorry for you do take care.  I moved onto DE a while back and did feel upset with the decision but decided that my desire to be a mum was greater than my tie to my own eggs.
L x


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Sorry to hear that team d. X


----------



## MissSplendid

A sad day Team D. You plough so much emotional energy and money into the cycle, to only get this far is gutting. Really sad for you. Take some time to weigh up your options. When one door closes another usually opens xx


----------



## Diane72

TeamD,


So, so, sorry. It's so tough to get to this point and then get such disappointment. So sorry to hear the news.


D x


----------



## Diane72

Thinking of Joshua & Eva and all the lost angel babies on here and our own nine tiny babies that never made it here. Our candles in my profile pic. for everyone. xxxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

i lit my candles today and had my baby loss ribbons  xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thank you ladies.

You are all true stars. I lit two- one for Joshua and Eva, and one for all the other angel babies.


Xxxx


----------



## Allen

Napy, congrats on your future daughter


----------



## napy

Thanks Allen, we are very excited    Can you tell me how early you arrived in Kharkov before the birth of your son?

DaisyMaisy, we lit two candles last night as well for Joshua and Eva.


----------



## Allen

Napy, we came to Kharkov one week before the birth date! It was a very boring week


----------



## Diane72

Congratulations Napy    


Diane x


----------



## napy

Thanks Diane!  AnnaRosie, I have a feeling that once the holidays are here, time will just fly by.  I know what you mean though about wanting time to move faster.


----------



## lily17

Is anyone here having trouble making contact with a UK surrogate as my surrogate is having trouble finding a nice couple to work with?
Please PM me if you want to make contact, she has been a surrogate twice previously.
Our lovely baby Charlie is now 12 weeks old he is so cute and we are forever grateful to her

Lily x


----------



## dezert72

Hello all,

Thought it was time I said hello on this thread, have been keeping an eye on your stories for a while now. After 5 years ttc and coming to the alarming realization that this isn't going to happen for us without a special lady   we have just joined COTS looking for a Host surrogate. Am kind of nervous about how long we will need to wait to find a surrogate in the UK... but keeping fingers crossed for now.

Good luck to everyone else on their journeys.


----------



## dezert72

Doh!! Not looking for a special lady size 78%!!  Don't know how that slipped in, LOL


----------



## MissSplendid

I like the very specific requirements though- 78%!

Good luck with COTS. Was joining quite straightforward? What happen now ? 

Looking forward to following your journey x


----------



## dezert72

Hi AR,


I was thinking the same thing. No news from me. Anything happening with your visas etc? How's the little one progressing?


x


----------



## napy

Everything is good with us too.  We just found out that we have to be in Ukraine three weeks before the expected due date.  We had originally thought that we would plan to be there just one week before the due date, but be prepared to fly over there immediately if our surrogate mother goes into labor early.  So, we are sort of making a pre-baby vacation out of it and plan on doing some sightseeing while we are waiting.  Of course, these plans could all go out the window if our surrogate mother has an early delivery!


----------



## Donandbirgit

Hi Jennifer,

how are you?I hope everything is all right?
We are doing fine,no more scary news since last week. No news is good news!!!Thank God.
Now we are waiting for the next ultrasound on Nov.8th.

Sincerely
Birgit


----------



## selene78

Birgid what was the scarry news last week? We didn't decide to go with LVF, but to try in Georgia, but I keep my fingers crossed for you!


----------



## Donandbirgit

Our surrogate 31 weeks pregnant ,had stomach pains and had to go to the hospital.
Everything is good now. The baby is healthy!!!

I hope you guys are doing fine.

Sincerely
Birgit


----------



## selene78

OMG it must have scared you to death! Great that everything is ok with baby and with her)))))
So there is 9 more weeks for you to wait, and than - big celebration! Such a great news!
We are searching our way, and it seems that New Life in Georgia will have it's chance


----------



## Diane72

Hello All,


AR, the important thing short term is your baby is still doing well so that is good. 


Birgit, what a scare    I'm glad it is all OK now


Napy, glad all is going well     


Dezert, good luck with COTS I have heard alot of good things about them


Sending hugs to everyone else


Diane x


----------



## HEC

Hi everyone
Sorry not to have been around recently. Just lots of hassle and sad things in the family but, thankfully all is still going well with our baby to be - 21 weeks tomorrow so no longer even compared to fruit or veg for size! Napy, congratulations on your girl! We aren't allowed to know so we're going pale greens and lemons and greys and all things neutral! Selene, we are very happy with New Life Georgia - how could we not be when we have a pregnancy and, fingers and toes crossed, our baby in our arms in early March!
Daisy Maisy, sure your precious little ones loved the candles. Do hope all goes well for you when you start again. One day you will be able to tell your new baby all about his or her brother and sister I'm sure. Before she had me, my mother had twins who lived for only a few days and, as a child, I loved to hear about them. 
Anna Rosie, keep being excited and positive - you will get there!
Birgit, so glad all is OK. Not long to go now, though i know it will seem like it.
Sorry if I've missed anyone - but good luck and lots of hugs to you all.
HEC


----------



## Diane72

HEC,


Congratulations on reaching 21 weeks!!!!


 


Diane x


----------



## olinaiti

HEC , congrats on getting to 21 w from me too . At that point last January with our  baby we went to see our surrogate in Texas and got to go to a scan and a doctors appointment . It was exiting , we had our son with us too . I can't believe she is now 6 m and crawling everywhere and eating solids etc . To all of you still on your journey ... You'll get there before you know it ! And then the baby grows up fast ... I know it feels like it'll never happen . It took us 4 1/2 to have our daughter finally after 10 misscarriages , illness etc. the surrogacy proces took about 2 y to the birth but here we are . Good luck everyone ! Don't give up !!!!


----------



## TeamD

Hi All,
Congrats to you all on your progress and great to hear from you all.
Sorry I haven't been on for a while, still trying to digest this 4th failed surrogacy attempt and am having emotional battles with accepting I need to move on to donor eggs.  I just see ladies in the street with their daughters and you can see the child is a mini of their mum and I just want to have a mini-me    and I hear people say 'oh she gets it from her mother' and 'its in the genes' and I think that I won't have that and I wonder how I will respond if people say 'oh she must get that off you' or 'wow, she looks like you' or worse 'there isn't much similarity between you'! And I have no brothers or sisters so I feel like I'm letting down the blood line and not carrying it on.  Urgghhhh, sorry for the doom and gloom, I just need to sort my head out.  On the other hand I KNOW I will love my child as much as I would my own biological child, i'm so maternal I could love any child but its all the above things that are circling around my head and heart. We have actually looked at donors and we've seen one we really like who has several looks and traits similar to mine and I feel comfortable with her profile. Need some money now though, completely broke 
I'm also battling with 'maybe one more go' but the chances are it will fail but theres a tiny chance of success and I wonder if the next one could just be the one that works.
Why oh why do these things happen to good people?
Sorry all 
Hope you all have a great weekend  
TeamD xx


----------



## TeamD

P.S. Girls, any chance of some signatures? It's always helpful to understand and see peoples journeys...
xx


----------



## Allen

TeamD,
We also have the baby from the donor egg. It means absolutely nothing! My wife adores him as her own.


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hec, thank you for remembering me. I'm still struggling. Good days and bad days. Worried that Eva and Joshua was our one and only chance.

Glad everyone else is doing ok.

Daisy. Xxx


----------



## Diane72

Team D,


Did you try CGH to check the quality of your embies? I do know lots of friends who had donor egg and the minute they held the baby in their arms none of it mattered anymore, all that mattered was their precious child. However, I know how hard it was accepting I could never carry my own child and none of these decision points are easy-sending hugs xxx


D x


----------



## Diane72

Daisy,

I have cut & paste the poem I wrote after one of my miscarriages that helped me take those first few steps again. At some points I never thought I'd ever get there and was in the depths of despair but I finally read this poem out at my little girl's christening a few months ago (after a 7 year journey to my child) and finally added a new line.... and my precious Iona at last today is your day.

I know it is so hard to go on when no-one can tell you the end of your story and you begin to doubt you will ever get there but stay strong for your future child. Just take it one day at a time just now, grieve and heal. I always tried to add more structure to my life when I felt hopeless, joined a dance class, did other things to try get myself back out of the house when I just wanted to stay i bed with the curtains drawn. It takes time to heal, sending you lots of hugs, thinking of you. xxxx

'Dear Mummy'

Dear Mummy, I know you are sad today, 
I have heard you crying so many times,
I see your heart is breaking,
You have shut out the world, turned off the lights,
I know the pain you feel inside is unbearable,
Screaming at Daddy, pushing him away will not help.

God told me today, mummy is crying for my tiny baby brother,
He told me that you felt life was no longer worth living,
That you feel you can't go on, all energy gone, 
I saw you lying in bed, unable to talk, 
The Angels told me you were the saddest you have ever been,
That you just want to sleep and never wake up.

But Mummy, I am waiting here, waiting for my turn,
I need you Mummy, I need you to be strong,
God told me that I can come to you, but first Mummy needs to get better,
What about me Mummy? Won't you smile for me?
Tomorrow is a new day, will you spend some time thinking of me,
I too long to be in your arms, to be held for the first time.

Dear Mummy, promise me you will try,
I have heard what God and the Angels had to say,
I know you are sad, I know you will miss the other baby,
But please give me a chance, 
Let tomorrow be my day, the day Mummy thought of me,
I love you Mummy.​


----------



## napy

Diane, what a very nice poem.  DaisyMaisy, I think about you alot and hope you have the strength to try again someday when you are ready.  HEC, great to hear from you!  AR, I hope things are better with your VISA situation.  TeamD, I know it is probably hard to give up the idea of having a biological child, but I can tell you from experience that it doesn't feel any different when you are holding your precious baby in your arms, and especially when she calls you "Mama" for the first time.  There may be comments from people about who a certain trait from, but I try not to make that the focus of the conversation.  When someone says our two year old got her red hair from me, I just give them a big smile.  Each child is special in their own way and has qualities that are unique to them and don't neccesarily come from one parent or the other.    Your chances of having success will increase quite a  bit if you go with a very young donor.  Our two donors were 20 and 21 when they donated their eggs.


----------



## HEC

I think you're so right about each child being so special and individual and, in the end, he or she will just be your baby whether or not he/she grew in your womb and whether or not he/she is from one of your eggs and your baby will love you absolutely unconditionally, just as you will love him or her. And we took Napy's advice on having a young egg donor for our 2nd attempt and had 13 really good embryos and we are now in our 22nd week and holding our breath a little less each day... Just one example of how wonderful this support network really is I guess and I am really glad that I found you all! Thanks!


----------



## TeamD

Hi all,

HEC you are very right about this support network, I don't know what I'd do without you all  ^ So ecciting that you are now 22 weeks, how wonderful 

All of your comments are so comforting and are helping me to come to terms with this. I think about me and my parents and tbh I am quite different from both of them! 

Hmmm, the donor we are currently most drawn to is 30. We are really drawn to her and she is similar to me in several ways, including her description of her personality. She has done two cycles before, no results on the profile for her last one yet as it was recent but her first resulted in a twin live birth. Surely this is good? We haven't seen any other donors we get as good a feeling about. 

Diane your poem always wells me up.  And yes we did have CGH on our three embies and all were abnormal and that's why the drs are saying to go to DE. I am still unsure whether to try one more time.

Daisy, I think about you often, hope you are doing ok.

Allen, did it hurt you that your biological child is not your wife's? Do you think about it now? I have trouble wondering about how my might hubby feel about this. He tells me he is sad but I worry he's hiding deeper feelings he won't share to protect me.

Thank you for all your support and big hugs to you all  

TeamD xx


----------



## TeamD

P.s. my hubby is worried that his sperm might be attributing to our poor embryos and wants to get further testing before our DE cycle. Does anyone know the tests to take after general sperm analysis? I've heard of karetype tests and DNA fragmentation but no idea what is required or how they are done?!

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Many thanks

TeamD xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi everyone.

Thank you for remembering me. 😊. The poem was lovely and made me cry. 

Teamd, I know they can do pgd (?) testing where they genetic test the embryos at day 5, but not sure in the ins and outs. Sorry. 

I also wanted to say that when Eva and Joshua were on the way, I totally forgot about them bring from a DE. They are my children. I love them unconditionally. I always will. 


Xxxxx


----------



## Diane72

Hello All,


DaisyMay xxxxxxxxx   xxxxxxxxxxx


Team D, i'm guessing you both have had the more general karyotyping already? You can also do sperm aneploidy (chromosome screening) and DNA fragmentation. My DH had both done (Dr. Gorgy in Wimpole Street does it with The Doctor's Laboratory /TDL). They are not as directly correlated as some other measures though. My DH had quite high fragmentation and if we had just looked at that we might have thought the embryo was the issue and as it turned out it was not the issue as my sister got pregnant 1st time with our embie with no issues, while the transfer to me at the same time from the same batch of embies (my eggs & DH's sperm) resulted in another miscarriage proving it was the womb environment not the embies. Good luck with whatever you decide is your next step xxxx


Napy and everyone else 'hello'!


D x


----------



## SamanthaB

Good luck with the scan ar. I'm sure alls fine  xx


----------



## napy

Hi Everyone!
  TeamD, if sperm quality is an issue, you might want to try the ProCreation fertility vitamin supplements for Men for your husband.  My husband's quality wasn't too bad, but not exactly stellar either, so he started taking them and we could see quite a bit of improvement between the sperm analysis that was done before he started and one that was done once he had been on them for a couple of months.  We figured it couldn't hurt our chances of success, only help them. I think so many times the egg quality is blamed for poor embryo quality, but it could just as easily be sperm quality too.  For the 30 year old donor that you like, how long ago did she do the donation that resulted in twins?  

AnnaRosie, you are so right!  We are the ones who will be up late at night with our babies, the ones changing an endless number of diapers, potty training them and so on for a very long time!

Take care everyone!  
Napy


----------



## MissSplendid

TeamD - the sperm aneploidy (chromosome screening) with The Doctor's Laboratory in London (which Diane mentions) is also known as the FISH test. We had it done and it revealed the DH had high aneuploidy. Having said that, we have soldiered on anyway and seem to be producing good embryos.

The FISH test is pretty expensive so I'd think carefully about it first. For example, even if it showed up some weaknesses in Dh's sperm would you still go ahead  and use his sperm anyway? If so, it probably won't make any difference to you whatever the results - the only thing we did differently was try ICSI/ PICSI which you could do anyway for the price of the test. Also, the results take quite a long time to come back so it can hold you up if you're thinking of cycling soon. 

I hope I'm making sense. Good luck with it all!


----------



## TeamD

Hi all,

Thanks for your replies  I'm pretty confused now though! We had CGH PGD on our embies and they were all abnormal but we assume that's my eggs due to my rubbish hormone levels and endo.  DH is just wants to be sure his swimmers aren't contributing to our problems. So it's really about just getting the tests to see if they are ok. MissSplendid, I do however see what you are saying! Would we try anyway? Yes probably! So does FISH tests include both DNA fragmentation test and chromosome tests? And then Diane, what is the difference between this and kareotyping?! And no we haven't had those tests, should we have?! What are they?

Sorry for all the questions!

Thank you Daisymay and all for your lovely comments about babies from DEs. I'm getting there with this! I'm not thinking it would be a problem with bonding or feeling like mum, it's just a sad feeling that I won't see the mix of me and DH 

Napy, the donors twins must have been a cycle done in June 2011 but that's a guess as it just says June, no year, so yes I should probably check it wasn't 5 years ago! Thank you for that  

AR, sorry you've had some stressful news, let us know how the scan goes, hope all will be well.

Thank you everyone for your support, I love this group  

Take care

TeamD xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Team D kayrotype and DNA fragmentation are fairly common and can be done anywhere we had them at TDL, but if he wanted a urology overview as well there is a consultant that man of the men go to is Jonathan Ramsey 
Good Luck


----------



## TeamD

Thanks JJ... So what's a urology overview?! Is that like the FISH that missSplendid was talking about?! And is kareotyping and DNA frag done by blood tests?
It's all so complicated!
Xx


----------



## napy

AnnaRosie, I'm so glad to hear that the scan showed everything to be good and normal with your baby!  Our surrogate mother had an appointment yesterday and everything looked good too. 

Take care, it won't be long now!

Napy


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

♥JJ1♥ said:


> Team D kayrotype and DNA fragmentation are fairly common and can be done anywhere we had them at TDL, but if he wanted a urology overview as well there is a consultant that man of the men go to is Jonathan Ramsey
> Good Luck


A urologist is a Dr who specialist in the men's genital and urinary tract, and this man has a lot of expertise in sperm production, finding sperm by surgical technique and if your search for him on FF he crops up. FISH is a test on the sperm, DNA fragmentation, motility etc is on the sperm, karyotyoing and testosterone and FSH levels on men is a blood test.


----------



## TeamD

Thanks JJ
So, we need DNA frag and FISH on his sperm and a blood test for kareotyping? And I should have it too based on dianes comments? It's all so complicated!

AR, great news on the scan results, all coming along nicely, not long now, how wonderful  and Napy too! Great to hear your news 

TeamD xx


----------



## Diane72

Hi Team D,

Yes, correct.

The karyotyping blood test on you and your DH will tell you if you have any underlying genetic factor causing you issues, most people with recurrent miscarriage have these tests after their 3rd miscarriage. The FISH test/sperm aneploidy looks at whether the chromosomes in the actual sperm are OK (http://www.tdlpathology.com/services-divisions/tdl-andrology/sperm-aneuploidy) and the sperm DNA fragmentation (http://www.tdlpathology.com/services-divisions/tdl-andrology/sperm-dna-fragmentation) is looking for breaks in the DNA. 

AR, Napy glad to hear all is going well!

AFM, DH, baby and I are all off to Singapore on holiday to celebrate my 40th, I spent my childhood living there but haven't been back since I was 14 so I'm very excited! 

Diane x


----------



## napy

Thanks everyone!

Diane, have a wonderful time on your trip to Singapore!

AnnaRosie, I think what you are really feeling is normal.  I feel the same way, wanting time to go by fast but at the same time feeling like time is flying.


----------



## Diane72

Thanks AR, Napy 


'See' everyone when I get back


xxxx


----------



## HEC

Hello everyone
Just to let you know that I probably won't be on here for a while as our SM was rushed to hospital yesterday and a scan showed our precious baby died nearly 3 weeks ago, just 2 days after the last scan. We are devastated and worried about our SM too as she is quite poorly and has to have a C section. So, we have a lot to come to terms with and at the moment we aren't even together as my wonderful man is working away this week. Just need to grieve together and hold each other.
Love to you all. Stay strong.
H x


----------



## selene78

HEC I am so sorry for you( You mast be devastated((
Will pray for your baby.
K


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hec, I'm so sorry for your loss. There is no other pain like it.

Xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

TeamD said:


> Thanks JJ
> So, we need DNA frag and FISH on his sperm and a blood test for kareotyping? And I should have it too based on dianes comments? It's all so complicated!
> 
> AR, great news on the scan results, all coming along nicely, not long now, how wonderful  and Napy too! Great to hear your news
> 
> TeamD xx


Hi FISH is v rarely asked for and may be hard to come by, but DNA fragmentation is a fairly common test.


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

HEC I am so so sorry for the loss of your baby, I really hope that you and DH are getting support, and that your surro make a recovery- so v sad for you all xx


----------



## Lucky Brumbar

HEC, i am a lurker here but wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss... Hugs xxx


----------



## Diane72

Hec, so, so sorry xxxxx


----------



## Donandbirgit

HEC,
we are very sorry for your loss. Our prayers are with you.

Sincerely
Birgit and Don


----------



## Allen

So, so sorry. Please hold on!


----------



## napy

Dear HEC, I am so so sorry to hear about your loss.  This greatly saddens me.   I hope you and your husband can comfort eachother once you are together again.  I will be praying for you.


----------



## olinaiti

HEC, I'm so very sorry for you!  Sending all our love .


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

tdale- can i ask which agency you are joining COTS/SUK etc or abroad?
Good Luck


----------



## TeamD

Hi All,

HEC, I am so terribly sorry to read this news, sending you love and strength at this time    

Welcome TDale! this thread is wonderful, the girls here have been my support for a couple of years now!  I'm still trying to become a mum through surrogacy but am hoping next year is the one!

Diane, HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY GIRL!! Hope Singapore is fabulous! xx

Thanks JJ and Diane for your sperm testing comments, I'm looking into it this weekend, hope to get something sorted.

Hows things with you AR? Any sign of movement on the visa front?

AFM, heart strings are still being tugged re DE but am pretty much there, I just want to be a mum and I know I won't give a hoot once I have a beautiful baby in my arms   The good news is that the donor we wanted can now do the cycle in January so not long now! and I found out that the first cycle she did resulted in triplets being born and the recent one she did the lady is pregnant with a singleton all good so far.  The triplets were in 2006 when she was 24 but she is now 30, but that said the recent pregnancy was only a few months ago.  The bad news is we have no money! Does anyone know of a uk place to get fertility treatment loans?!?!

Thinking of you Daisymay, how are you doing?

Love to all
TeamD
xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thank you team d.

Good days and bad days. Still can't quite believe that they are gone. Still feel empty, useless and void.  Life is just so unfair.

I promise that one day I will write a positive post again, but at the moment, I just can't. I go to sleek every night asking to not wake up, just so I can hold them.

So sorry for the negative post.

Glad others are all ok.

Daisy. Xxx


----------



## tdale

Daisy- i am so sorry


----------



## MissSplendid

Hi tdale

I took a look at the agency- looks great but pretty expensive! 

Daisy- sorry to hear you're still struggling.


----------



## olinaiti

Tdale , we finally have a little 6m old girl born in the US this April through surrogacy . I think we actually originally looked at your agency before deciding to go with another one. We are now nearing the end of the journey in the sense that we are soon due to go to court in this country for the parental order. If you haven't yet ,I recommend you find yourself a british lawyer that specialises in international surrogacy . Also I'm sure you are aware of it if you are ready to sign up with them that surrogacy in the US is incredibly expensive ! Am not even quite sure of our total with all the different costs left and right but the legal ones are a major one. Definitely well over 100 000£ inc everything travel etc. the legal costs in this country run into tens of thousands on top of everything else the agency quotes .  It took us about 7m from signing up to find the right person and two cycles and in total 2+ y to the birth . It was all so worth it looking at our little daughter . Just take one thing at a time if you feel overwhelmed and like our lawyer said do everything by the book and don't take any shortcuts or you could run into serious legal trouble later when going to court here for the parental order. I only found this forum right before she was born and in a way wish I could have talked to someone that had some experience of going through this before we got into it. Good luck on your journey !


----------



## Liesje82

Hi all!

I am not native english so forgive me if I make grammatical mistakes  ! I hope i can join Your thread.

After 10 failed icsi attempts (2 fresh & 8 frozen) in Which 14 perfect embryo's have been transferred, we are now moving on to surrogacy. Everything seems okay with me and the embryo's but they constantly fail to implant. 

We are planning to cycle at Reprofit in Brno (Czech) with my sister in law as our Gestational Surrogate. 

Very excited but also scared, what if this fails too?

I hope we can support eachother!

Love
Liesje


----------



## tdale

Hi Liesje,

I also just joined this group  

Do you already have frozen embryos to transfer?

Im trying to decide if doing a fresh or frozen transfer will work out best... so much to plan and think about!


----------



## Liesje82

Hi Tdale,

We have 3 frozen embryo's left in our home country. Unfortunately they're not willing to transfer them to our surrogate. We are starting a fresh cycle at reprofit and Will do a fresh transfer with our surrogate. Still doubting if I Will also have a fresh transfer together with our surrogate... What do you think?

In my home country they say that if an embryo survives the thaw and develops normally, you should have the same chance as a fresh attempt. Do you work with An egg donor and sperm donor seperatedly (so you'll receive more embryo's) or do you pay per donor embryo attempt? Where Will you do the treatment?

X liesje


----------



## DaisyMaisy

hey ladies,

we got a bfp today. very nervous. very scared. taking each day at a time.....

xxxx


----------



## SamanthaB

Congratulations Daisy!!! Xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

OH DaisyMaisy I am so pleased for you, I really hope that the pregnancy goes well xx


----------



## Diane72

Daisy, keeping everything crossed for you!!!

D xxx


----------



## Diane72

Liesje,

Welcome to the thread. My sister carried our embryo for us, so quite similar to you.

Sending lots of luck!

Diane x


----------



## olinaiti

Congrats Daisy! I truly hope it works out !!! Hang in there


----------



## olinaiti

Annarosie, I hope you get your visa soon! I know the anxious wait since we were stuck in the US waiting to come back with our baby for weeks while my son should have been at school and husband was due back work ...
We are going to court for the first time on next monday for the parental order. Am a bit nervous since I don't know what to look forward to !


----------



## TeamD

Hi all 

Confgratulations daisy! Such good news  have everything crossed for you  

Diane how was the 40th and the holiday?

Welcome Liesje!

Afm, I spoke too soon in my last post unfortunately. Our donor has had a work contract change and is now not available till April  It's hit me really hard, I know it's only an additional 12 weeks so in the grand scheme of life it's nothing but I'm going crazy, I just want to be a mum.  And I'm still struggling with the whole DE thing anyway and I know that when I have a baby in my arms I won't care but in the meantime everyday I feel useless and it hurts and the longer I have to wait the more ill beat myself up.  We could pick another donor but I see so much of myself in this girls profile so she is worth waiting for. I'm so fed up though  

Sorry!

Hope you are all well, lots of hugs and strength....

TeamD xx


----------



## olinaiti

Team D, I'm sorry your plans are not working out! Hope you manage to pass the time until the spring if that's what you decide to do... You'll get there in the end


----------



## olinaiti

Thinking of you Daisy !


----------



## TeamD

AR I've read your post probably 5 times now and it makes me smile, cry, feel comfort and support, thank you so much for you kind words, you are truly wonderful   I'm going to refer back to it often  

How many weeks are you now AR?

Olinaiti, thank you, hope you are enjoying family life and that the parental order process goes well 

Tdale, thank you too, where are you in the process now?

Hope everyone is well
TeamD xx


----------



## napy

Congratulations Daisy!  TeamD, the time will probably fly by with the holidays ahead of us. The waiting is the hardest part of this whole surrogacy process.


----------



## olinaiti

Yeah, had our first court hearing today and it went well and was really quick   ! Also got the residence order so no more council social workers. One more home visit by a court appointed s.worker and the final hearing should be in the end of Jan. Then we're hopefully done well before R's first birthday ... It's 3 y now since we took our first steps into surrogacy!
Good luck to everyone !


----------



## Diane72

Great news Olinaiti! I know we felt so relieved when all the court stuff was finished-not long now xxx


----------



## olinaiti

Thanks Diane! Yes it feels like the end is in sight! It's been a crazy 5 + y. DH is saying he won't do it again. I'm not 100% sure but I've got my hands full ATM so shouldn't even think about it since I'm struggling at times. It's that feeling though and life's short so we'll see when R is a bit older and my mother inlaw is better etc. 
Your little one is looking super cute in the picture  ! How old is she now? Can't believe R is 7 m already and is crawling everywhere and just also learned to pull up to stand by herself so is cruising soon enough and then walking gulp...


----------



## HRM

Hi Ladies, 

I am very new to this whole concept (just found out we have our 6th BFN using donor embryos) and have a few very naive questions I was hoping you could help me with, if that's ok? 

My sister has now offered to surrogate for us if we would like, however I believe that as we require both egg and sperm donors, this may not be possible and is actually classed as 'adoption'? Is this correct? If so, does anyone know about the process of becoming cleared to adopt in these circumstances - is it the same as the normal process to adopt, which takes a long time and is very thorough, or is there a 'light' version under such circumstances? Any info any of you have would be much appreciated. Also, if we were able to use DH's sperm, then the baby would be genetically his and he could be named on the birth certificate - is this correct? (My sis is married however, so perhaps her DH has to be mentioned??) If the baby was genetically DH's, would we then be able to call it surrogacy and after birth they could hand the baby over to us and go through the courts to get 'parental responsibility' - is this correct? obviously some of you have already got your beautiful babies and have been through this process - can you tell me about it please? Does it always go smoothly, or is it a risky process. Also... sorry, so many questions! How much do all the legalities cost? 

Thank you in advance to anyone who can help with this info or signpost me to people who can.
H xxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

HRM maybe ask Natalie the FF lawyer for advice, but for a parental order in the UK one of you need to be genetically related to the child.
Good Luck


----------



## hiltra

Hi ladies

Wanted to join this forum as we've just had a BFP and my sister in law (our surrogate) is 4 weeks pregnant!

I'm sure this will be a great source of information for us xxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

congratulations on the pregnancy so thrilled for you xx


----------



## olinaiti

Congrats on your wonderful news !


----------



## HRM

Hi, 
I am new too and still very far away from this point, but wanted to send you HUGE congratulations!!!! Great, great news. Hope it all goes beautifully smoothly and in 8 months you will be holding your gorgeous baby. Well done you. 

H xxx


----------



## LouGhevaert

Hi Hiltra

Many congratulations - I'm so pleased for you.  I hope all goes well.

Best wishes

Louisa


----------



## Diane72

Congratulations Hiltra- great news

Diane


----------



## napy

Best of luck on your journey Hiltra!  That's wonderful that your sister is your surrogate mother too.


----------



## hiltra

Thanks for all the well wishes ladies - much appreciated  xx

Will let you know how i'm getting on x

Hope you are all well


----------



## olinaiti

Merry Christmas to everyone and good luck on your journeys in the New Year   !


----------



## Diane72

Merry Christmas!!


----------



## renata32

Merry Xmas and best wishes !!


----------



## duffy7

just wanted to say a quick hello and is it ok to join you?? (through some tears  )

Ive just had my 8th pregnancy loss and finding it very difficulut to deal with....Im usually very strong and can cope I think because I usually have the next steps in place and another treatment/ plan to try......this time I have nothing, ive tried every treatment and its all failing.

I think surrogacy may be our next option......we can't keep putting ourselves through this pain, we are both desperate to be parents  so maybe its time to accept that my body will not allow me to carry a baby.

In the past my SIl has made a passing comment that she would be our surrogate but I don't know how serious she is about it, we are going to have to have a HUGE chat.......any advice

If she isn't able to do it I think then will will need to join COTS or surrogacy uk to start the surrogacy process, although it may be a long one until we have the finances to do it.


Hope you are all having a lovely xmas and 2013 is a good year where some dreams come true xx


----------



## Diane72

Hi Duffy,


My story is not too different from yours, 7 miscarriages and had tried IVIG, LIT, intralipids, steroids, humira, clexane, Viagra for womb lining, various surgical solutions & all the other more standard Miscarriage treatments. It was hard to accept that I had to move on and very scary. My advice is feel the fear and do it anyway. My sister suggested it after my fifth miscarriage and it took two more years before I felt ready  to say ' I had tried everything' but all I can say is now celebrating Christmas with my one year old little girl all that stress and worry was worth it and I'm glad I finally accepted I was never going to carry full term. 


I know how hard this is, I have been there, just put the wheels in motion and take each day as it comes. 


Sending hugs,


Diane x


----------



## duffy7

Thank you so much for your kind and very positive replies that fill me full of hope again!

I have heard of the ** pages but then get a bit scared regarding their privacy as im not wuite ready to announce it to lots of my ** friends!!

Diane your story sou.ds very similar and how wonderful speding xmas with your little miracle!

Annarosie congrats on the pregnancy and how very exciting for you.


Ill probably be back with lots of questions!!

Thanks again, you've both put a smile on my face and im off to read your replies to dh to cheer him.
up!

All the best xxx


----------



## poppins

Hello all and Happy New Year!


I'm so so sorry I'm totally rubbish lately with the sites. I started this thread!


Duffy firstly I want to send a hug your way   it looks like you've come to a point in your life like me Diane and many others had its really not easy to move on, but it won't be regretted I'm sure.    I now have a beautiful bright and bubbly baby girl who is almost 9 months old through Host Surrogacy. After loosing 7 babies over a 10 year period of total heartache I've really never been happier that we chose Surrogacy. Like you say it will be something that takes a lot of talking about a lot of research and patience! BUT it really can work and does. Your sister in law has been very kind in offering to help but it does need a lot of chatting! It will have to be something her partner your brother/sister feels comfortable with too, and she'll need to know it means an up heavle of her life for the duration as it requires trips to the clinic often at the drop of a hat! And if she has kiddies child care will have to be covered, then maybe her expenses for time off work, clothes meds etc. You can also go independently as well as joining COTS or SURROGACY UK. Independently is totally doable it's what I did but I did research for a long time and meet with surrogates and IP's (intended parents) at a few social meet ups with Surrogacy UK it helps to get advice. There's sites on Face Book that are private too, if you're interested I can get you on one when you're ready. Nobody will see your posts apart from those in the group.   


Hi to everyone else, I hope you're all well.  
Poppins x


----------



## duffy7

Thanks poppins!

I love success stories!!!

Your wee girl looks beautiful in your picture, what an amazing xmas you must have had!

I think your right that we've reached a new stage in our lives and surrogacy is the way to go.

Its good to know you can go to the surrogacy uk socials without being a,member i'll look into any near us coming up soon.

Would you mind getting me on one of the ** sites? I.d appreciate that.


Thanks again x


----------



## olinaiti

Poppins , lovely to hear from you! I've been wondering what's been happening after you had your little one. Our little girl is just about a month younger than yours. She just turned 8m before Christmas and is growing up so quickly and changing. Crawling everywhere at lightning speed, pulling up , cruising etc. Gosh the first year goes quickly . I feel it has gone quicker now with the second one since I'm busy with my son's stuff and R has to tag along which she seems to be happy to do. They really love each other which is so wonderful to see after all these years  .
Good luck to everyone , you'll get there!


----------



## olinaiti

Duffy7, I had 10 early unexplained miscarriages and then got sick so had to move on.  Here we are now thanks to gestational surrogacy in the States 3y later with a healthy lovely 8m little girl. It's possible but takes patience and determination. Take one day and a task at a time if you decide to get on the surrogacy journey. Eventually you'll get there   Don't give up  ! All the best


----------



## Caz

Hello ladies. Does anyone object if I change the name of this thread to "Surrogacy general chat" (or something similar?)  The thread started out as a sort of pregnancy-through-surrogacy support thread but has morphed into more general support for all so make sense to have the name reflect that.  
if you can come up with a better name suggestion, do shout!  

C~x


----------



## Diane72

I have no objections to that


----------



## poppins

Caz, good idea on the name change! I've changed it!    


Duffy great to see you on the ** site, there's lots of Surrogates on there, and Val also a Scottish lassy! Has helped run another surrogacy site once, she has a daughter through Surrogacy and has always answered my questions! You can ask any questions up front on the main page too. They're all very friendly.  


Olinaiti, hi, it's nice you're still on here, you had a girl too, congratulations! How is the crawling going, have you had to baby proof everywhere! Amber gets about but hasn't mastered crawling or shuffling yet she seems to shuffle at times, other times she lunges forward rolls over and ends up in different places! We're just about to order a full extendable fireguard at the ready! I've just had some other bits delivered like door stoppers and a magnetic cupboard door lock to try out! It's all fun, but god yes they grow up soooo quickly. 


Diane, Hi, I hope you hubby and Iona are well.  


Amber's just got over German measles! At first we thought it was a reaction to blue berries until she got covered bless her. But I'm still house bound for another 7 days until the full incubation period is up! I'm literally going stir crazy! We did go out for a drive today, just to get out! And we've walked around the garden a few times over the week but boy it's turned cold. Brrrrrr. 


I hope you're all well. Xxxxxx


----------



## olinaiti

Poppins, I hope your little one gets better soon ! 
Rose has had a few times of a bunch of spots all over her but they must be a mystery allergic reaction since I did take her to doctors and they ruled out  measles etc.She is clear ATM and we haven't yet been able to work out what it is. 
R is going to places very quickly on all fours . She started just before 6m and pulled up to stand by herself at about 7m just like my son. She is doing more and more standing and walking a few steps holding on to furniture ( cruising) more often too so things are moving on definitely . Won't be long from what yours is doing until crawling or even walking ... We've done some baby proofing but the best is to put hings out of reach and watch them like a hawk and close room doors . We have a playpen in the kitchen and she plays in her cot too when I Need to get things done. She can't be trusted for a second . She's into everything ...


----------



## Lisa88

Hello, I too am now going the surrocacy route as my wonderful sister has offered to be a gestational surrogate.

(I can highly recommend Natalie Gamble for all legal advice for those at the early stages.)

The sticking point for me at the moment is that my IVF hospital wants my sister and I to have a surrocacy agreement as part of their checklist. She and I have had counselling and have covered all the issues. We do not feel the need to go to a surrocacy agency and the charge of £800 to join seems excessive on top of all the other treatment costs given I already have a surrogate.

None of the surrocacy agency's will provide us with a blank agreement form to work through. My hospital is fine for us not to go through an agency they would just like some 'formal' peace of mind that we have covered all eventualities and hence have met their check list criteria so we can proceed. Hence it is a really cheeky ask but does anyone have a blank form that I could borrow for us to complete and provide to my clinic. Please feel free to PM me if easier. Also if I can answer any questions for those at the very early stages of debating surrocacy please do ask.

Many thanks!!!!!!!!

It is so encouraging reading everyone's stories here.

Best wishes
Lisa

Read more: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=297617.10#ixzz2I3nNaR2G


----------



## mrsknight

Hello all,

Probably jumping the gun some what but I want to know all of my options, I am currently having IVF and about to have another failed cycle despite perfect hatching embreyos I was thinking about surrogacy , where do you even start? I have heard that its illegal to pay for a woman to carry your baby but I assume there are expenses? Are there any online agency's that are the best to go to? 

Thanks ladies x


----------



## MandyPandy

Hiya ladies

Does anyone mind if I join in here?

I've been through the whole IVF mill and am now heading down the surrogacy route.

I have matched with a GS and we are looking to start our first cycle in March.  I've been with Dr Gorgy for a while so I may as well stick with him.  My only worry now, is that I have stopped producing eggs.  I've had low AMH for a while and it would just be sod's law for them to dry up when I have finally found a possible solution to the whole IF issue.

Anyway, I'm really hoping that's not the case, although I won't know until I go for an AFC.

I've already got the surrogacy agreement sorted and have spoken to Natalie Gamble - although I still need to speak to them further.  The only thing I can think of now is going for my initial consult to get the ball rolling - exciting times indeed!


----------



## MandyPandy

Lisa - why don't you just get a blank surrogacy agreement online? That's what I did and I adapted/amended it to suit my situation.

This is mine:

http://www.allaboutsurrogacy.com/sample_contracts/contracts.htm

I just took out all the bits that are only relevant in America and my GS and I went through it together to make sure all the bits and pieces are covered and added in what we thought was missing/took out what we thought was unnecessary. In any event, we both know it's not a legally binding contract and my opinion is that once it's signed, it will sit in a drawer gathering dust.


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi AR. Hope India is fun! I keep logging on to see if your baby has arrived yet! Keep us posted!


Can I also ask, have u bought a pram over there, or took one over with you? Dh and I are deciding what we (hopefully) need to do.


Xxxxxx


----------



## Lisa88

Hello All, 

Thank you Mandy Pandy for the suggesiton and link, much appreciated - one lady who kindly read my post PM me and sent me copies, so am now covered. 

Mrs Knight - in response to your question, yes there are surrogacy agency's and the prcoess is legal in the UK as long as it is not a commercial agreement. The law states you can cover the surrogate for any out of pocket expenses associated with surrogacy and pregnancy, but no payment over and above that. The two main agencies in the UK are COTS and Surrogacy UK - I have no experience of either as my sister is going to me my surrogate. Having looked at your siganture it seems you have had two IVF cycles and your partners sperm issues seem to have improved - I am assuming your clinic has given you all the Level 1 tests and have addressed anything that may have come up. From what you have written it would seem that maybe Surrogacy may not be needed, but I appreciate that this may not be the complete picture. Have you discussed this with your clinic. I would have thought they would want to maybe do further tests to see if anything else could be done first. I appreciate that everyone's journey and situation is different and your instinct is to now consider surrogacy, and I completley understand that instinct counts for a lot in fertility.

All the best to everyone else.

xx


----------



## Diane72

Hi Anna-Rosie

Good luck in Delhi, I hope everything now goes smoothly! I am so pleased and excited for you. Keep waiting to hear more news! 

Are you staying in a hotel or do you have friends there? 

Sending you lots of hugs and hoping all goes well xxx

Diane x

P.S. Tried to PM you but your inbox is full


----------



## olinaiti

Hi AnnaRosie! Good luck in India! Let us know when the baby has arrived !
My Rose in soon 9 M , can't believe it. Our final Highcourt hearing is on this Thu and then it should be all over except applying for an English passport. Time flies ones you have the baby  ...


----------



## dezert72

Hi girls,


I haven't posted in a while, but have been checking in with your news.


AnnaRosie - good luck, hope all goes well in Delhi. You'll have your little one in your arms very soon, how exciting!!   


Best wishes to all


----------



## duffy7

Good luck anna!

Hope everyone is well

Xx


----------



## MandyPandy

How is everyone getting on today?  I have my first surro appointment on Saturday and I can't wait.  My lovely surro is coming to stay on Friday night so we can go together to the appointment in the morning.  I'm really looking forward to it!

Lisa - glad you got your surrogacy agreement sorted out. 

Hi to Diane, dezert, olinaiti, Anna Rosie, Mrs Knight, Daisie Maisie, Poppins and everyone else.  Hope everything is going well for you all.

xxx


----------



## Hulkster_89

Hi all, Im kinda new to this forum...not new to surrogacy however... Looking forward to makig some new friends  x


----------



## MandyPandy

Hulkster_89 said:


> Hi all, Im kinda new to this forum...not new to surrogacy however... Looking forward to makig some new friends  x


Whereabouts are you with your journey?


----------



## aseagrim

Hello I would like to join in please. I am new to surrogacy and looking into how this all works.


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

congrautlations AR enjoy those very special moments, so pleased he is happy and healthy - hope that you're soon home with him in the UK xxx


----------



## duffy7

Amazing news Anna, congrats!

I saw a pic of him on the ** group, he is gorgeous.

Xxx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

AR- that's great news! I can imagine how happy you are. Congratulations.  😊 Xxxxxx


----------



## MandyPandy

annarosie said:


> Hi all,
> 
> Our baby boy was born on Monday at 14.38 weighing 7 pounds. He's big and healthy and we are over the moon. His name is Adi George Francis and he's asleep on my lap right now!!!




That's wonderful news Hun - hope you're enjoying your time with him.

(BTW - not sure if you've worked out who I am or not?)


----------



## eggtastic

Congratulations Anna Rosie!  Wow - wonderful news!!!  Have you updated your blog?? I will have to have a peek... Must be Amazing... made me smile that he is sleeping on your lap right now.  How wonderful xxx


----------



## eggtastic

ps - is there a ******** group that you are all a part of?


----------



## dezert72

Congratulations AR, I'll take at peek at your blog too to see photos. Where are you staying in Delhi?


X x


----------



## Diane72

AnnaRosie,
Wonderful!!!!    

I'm sooooooooooooo pleased for you!!!!!
Hope you manage to get a little sleep xxx
Diane x


----------



## olinaiti

Huge congrats Anna   !!! I'm so happy for you . Enjoy the precious first days ! I still remember the slightly bewildered feeling of sudden being holding the baby that you've tried to have for so long . Spend the first weeks of just holding her or being next to her on the bed in the hotel doing everything in it inc eating . Rose didn't want to be put down the first days / weeks either and had some hard nights but I promise it gets better .
  

We had our final high court hearing today and it was over quickly . Can't believe the process is finally done with 1 day after Roses 9 m day ! We're at the end of a road about to start on another path with her for the rest of our lives...


----------



## Diane72

Olinaiti, wonderful news! Congratulations! I know I was so relieved when all the court stuff was finished and I could just get on with our lives!


AR, Iona had a little bit of jaundice in the first week. The health visitor recommended plenty of sunlight and making sure we kept the living room light with curtains wide open and holding her near the daylight. Although it was mid winter we took her out for short walks daily and it seemed to work as she was fine within a week.


Sending hugs


Diane x


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Olinaiti, that's fantastic news too! Congratulations. Xxxx


----------



## olinaiti

Thanks all. It's definitely a relief to get the legal stuff done. The whole thing seemed never ending but once we had Rose I didn't really think about that stuff at all and my husband dealt with it. We did have the social workers in our house 4 times during the process so that was a bit disruptive . I'll still hang around here to see how everyone else gets on  . It's so nice to hear other people's happy stories ! 
Enjoy your baba Anna. He'll be all grown up before you know it... Can't believe my son is 8y on next Tue. Where did the time go?


----------



## Caz

Congratulations annarosie and olinaiti.   

C~x


----------



## napy

Congratulations AnnaRosie!  I am so happy for you!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hello ladies.

Hope all is well.

Just a quick question- what are you planning to do/ or have done regarding your jobs? Have you / will you finish work or will you/ have you asked for maternity leave?

Xxxx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Yes, I know. My head offered me maternity leave when we were expecting Eva and Joshua, but I am now thinking ( if everything goes ok) not to ask for it again and just leave.

Hope all is well? Xxx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi AR- I agree. I don't want to be forced to go back to work (obviously hoping all goes well). I have to give a terms notice, so will have to tell my head next term, which is scary as still soooo early.

So far, so good, but just taking each day at a time and not thinking too far ahead! Lol.

How long do u expect to be in India for?

Xxx


----------



## Diane72

Hi Daisy,

Just to say people who adopt are given the same rights as  someone who takes maternity leave and I think it is a 'legal loophole' that  surrogacy does not have the same legal right. In my opinion any employer who  uses this 'legal loophole' and does not extend the same rights to people who  have a new baby via surrogacy instead of adopton/being able to give birth  themselves is totally unethical. 

My employer, an international  blue-chip company, even wrote a specific surrogacy policy triggered by me that  said people having a baby by surrogacy would be entitled to exactly the same as  the company maternity policy. After 8 rounds of privately funded IVF and  surrogacy we simply were not in the financial position for me to completely stop  working (and I'm not sure that would have been the right thing for us anyway),  so I took 9 months maternity leave (but could have taken 12 months if I was  willing to not be paid) and then went back 4 days per week (Mon-Thurs) and my DH  also changed to 4 days per week (Tues-Fri). It has worked out well and is a nice  balance as we have the weekend together, a Mummy day, a Daddy day and the 3 days  a week at the nursery interacting with other kids, which I think our little girl  really gets a lot out of (especially as she is an only child). I have a couple  of hours in the morning with baby before dropping her off for nursery on the way  to work and Daddy finishes work early in the late afternoon to pick her up from  nursery not too late and we all have dinner/family time together each evening  even on the 3 nursery days. 

Just thought I'd share so you saw the  range of things different people do,

Diane


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thank you Diane. Your employer sounds lovely. Unfortunately, mine is not. I assume as he offered to maternity leave before Eva and Joshua were stillborn, he will have to offer it me again if I asked. However, I don't think that he would pay me as this was not mentioned.

I am thinking of doing supply maybe when (if) they get to a yr and that way by working week can be more flexible. I know that a bill has been passed allowing ip's through surrogacy to have the equivalent to adoption leave, but I think it doesn't come in until 2015.

I agree that nursery is very important in order to build social and communication skills and if all goes well, I would put them into a nursery for a day a week, just so they can get the benefits of it. 
  
It's nice to see the different options that you have all taken.... Keep them coming ladies.....

Xxxx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

AR- I think I am kinda in the same position as you reguarding time off. I was obviously off when Eva and Joshua died, then went back, and  i have been signed off since before Xmas. As a result, I honestly don't think he would offer it to me again....... It just seems soooo early to be thinking about this, but st the same time, I know I need to get it sorted.

How is the legal stuff going? I hope all is well? Our legal stuff has just kicked off again, sorting statements and things like that. Very scary to be doing it again. How is your little boy?

Xxxx


----------



## olinaiti

AR I hope you get back home from India ASAP and all the legal stuff goes well. I know how stressful it is . We were stuck for just 5w  in the US but that was a problem with my son missing school due to my motherinlaw getting cancer and us not having anyone to bring him back and looking after him. We were also running out of time with my husbands job after he'd already gotten two weeks paternity leave , two weeks of yearly holiday and taken 1 w unpaid . I haven't been working since before getting married and having my son and now have health issues that would make any kind of job difficult. Being a full-time mom with two without any help is a tough job but when Rose is two and 1/2 she'll go to nursery 2 full days a week until school . My son did just two afternoons but that 's not practical now with the school run etc. 
Daisy Maisy I wish you luck also with whatever is happening now. I hope you will also get to the end of the journey in the near future   !Try to keep positive and stay strong , it will work out in the end if you don't give up. 
Love to you all from me and Rosie


----------



## Diane72

Hi All,   
I hadn't realised a new bill had been passed, about time, it was a ridiculous inequity, it does seem it should be enforced sooner. 
I did my 8 rounds of IVF in my annual leave (no 'real' holidays for far too long!) but my work did have to have flexibility as you know you can never quite predict when you are going to need time off, they did also give me time off for my 7 miscarriages, a step-Dad dying unexpectedly and my biological Dad dying of a heart-attack suddenly, all within 4 years. I appreciate their support and I am even more grateful as they invented and manufacture the drugs that were used to stimulate my egg production and the trigger injection that led to my precious, miracle, little girl! I think the fact they are in healthcare and the fertility business historically helps as they understand 'patient-experience'.  Loyalty goes both ways though, I've had various head-hunters coming to me recently and I wouldn't move company because my employer has been so supportive over the years.

AR, really hoping everything gets sorted out expediently and smoothly for you! Have you had further complicated legal issues or is it just taking more time? Re: nursery my little girl started going at 9 months but had a few settling in sessions the month before. Although, we started going to her first Mummy & baby class when she was only about 6 weeks (they had one where she went for her weigh-ins) and before I returned to work we were going to a class most days together so she was quite used to being in an environment with other kids (which she always loved).  

Olinaiti, sorry to hear you have health issues and hope you don't feel to bad, I am sure you have your hands full with your two little ones   

Daisy May, I think just take one step at a time, cross each bridge as you come to it   
Hugs to everyone else too,

Diane x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

did any of you see this http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/425613/20130118/surrogacy-births-parents-baby-black-market-surrogate.htm

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/india/9811222/India-bans-gay-foreign-couples-from-surrogacy.html

adverse surrogacy articles don't help anyone!!

/links


----------



## Diane72

Thanks for posting JJ1


Diane


----------



## HEC

Just seen your brilliant news, Annarosie! Do hope all goes well and you will soon be home. Great to think all the legal stuff is now done, Olinaiti, and you can just enjoy your family. I've been staying away from FF I'm afraid but just lovely to hear your good news. 
We are trying again, our 2nd attempt with our new SM, probably at the end of the month. We have lots of good embryos left, thankfully, but we're not feeling very hopeful at all. I think we just dare not hope too much, and we're scared that, even if we are successful, we might not get past 20 weeks again. I think we both feel a little like we might have had our chance with Daisy and we won't get another one - but you never know...
Keeping fingers firmly crossed for you, DaisyMaisy - and thanks so much for your support. One day at a time, as you say, and, before you know it, the weeks will have passed. Lots of love and a hug, and lots of luck to everyone.
H x


----------



## Diane72

Good luck Hec !!


----------



## selene78

HEC maybe it is a good attitude. You will be much calmer, and prepared for everything. I talked with my friend who has a babygirl from in-vitro and she says 2 times, when it didn't work, she was so excited. And the third time (the lucky one) she thought: what the hell, it will not work probably, let not get excited. And it did work
And one more - when I was pregnant my doctor told me not to be excied about that to much, because everything can happen. Mother Nature knows what she is doing - better not to be emotionally involved (as it was possible!) as long as you can, because if something happens I will be very deep down. And I managed to do it for almost 3 months. And from my perspecitive, she was so right. Better to have a hope, to pray for everything to be good, but not to be overexcited. Its for our own good. But in spite of all that I wish you all the luck ;-*

We will fly to Tbilisi tomorrow - as I was sick in January and could not go. Stimulation starts on Sunday Keep your fingers crossed again!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi hec! It's lovely to hear from you. I wish you lots of luck with your next cycle. I completely understand how you feel as I still do feel the same, even though we are nearly 17 weeks. The thought  that I may never have an earth baby is unbearable. I still try not to think about it, just in case the end result is not a happy one. As hard as I try  not to get ' too attached', the truth is, I love these babies and if things go wring, my pain will be same.  

Be gentle on yourself. Your grief for daisy is still so raw. 

But each day at a time and you'll get there in the end, and if its not alright, then it's not the end. Daisy will be very proud of her mummy for being so strong in her fight for a brother or sister for her.

Each day at a time.......

Love daisy. Xxxxxxx


----------



## HEC

Thank you everyone, and all the very best of luck, Selene! Let us know how things go, and enjoy Tbilisi. Say hello to Tamara from me.
Better day today - thrown myself into a big clear out and it's very therapeutic. Have a lovely weekend everyone.
H x


----------



## olinaiti

HEC good luck with this next try   !
You too Selene!
DaisyMaisy I didn't realise you were so far along . I'm keeping everything crossed for you.  I definitely know what you mean about taking one day at a time. When we we're expecting Rose I was feeling very jaded not exited at all after the initial excitement about the good news. I think that  after everything we'd been through time after after time I was just protecting myself . Literally until she was born I didn't really believe it was happening. It is  kind of sad in the way that I couldn't be happy about such a wonderful thing unlike when carrying my son . I mostly put the whole thing out of my mind and continued life here concentrating on our son. I was fearful to a point afterwards as well but relaxed quite quickly and haven't in general been as neurotic with her as with our first child. Lots of hugs to everyone and good luck ! Looking forward to hearing more good news  !
P.s. Hope you are doing well with the baby in India AnnaRosie!


----------



## napy

Hi everyone - I've been out of the loop for awhile but our daughter was born 11 days ago in Ukraine.  We are now waiting inKiev for the DNA results and passport.  We should be able to go back to the US in less than two weeks.


----------



## duffy7

Congrats napy....beautiful name x


----------



## olinaiti

Huge congrats Napy   !!!! So glad for you for finally having your beautiful little baby girl !
Hope you get to go home soon   !
Love Anna , Rose and family


----------



## Allen

Napy, congratulations!!! I'm very happy for you


----------



## napy

Thank you everyone!  It's been a long road lasting five years, but now we have two beautiful daughters.  I wish everyone the best of luck with future cycles and ongoing pregnancies.  Fertility Friends helped so much along our journey.


----------



## HEC

Fantastic news Napy! Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter. Enjoy her!
H x


----------



## napy

Thanks HEC!  Good luck with your upcoming cycle.  I wish you the very best!  Great picture of you and your husband.


----------



## Diane72

Congratulations Napy!!!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Congratulations nappy.


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Congratulations Napy hope ur home soon xx and what a beautiful name


----------



## napy

Thank you everyone!


----------



## HEC

Hi DM. How are you doing? x


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi hec.  How r u? When are you starting your next cycle with sm? I still have good days and bad days. Some days I still can't quite believe its happened. I love and miss Eva and Joshua so much.

We have a scan this week. Fingers crossed everything will be ok. It still seems so early. I'm still to scared to let myself believe this pregnancy.

Xxx


----------



## olinaiti

Good luck with the scan Daisy!


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Napy she's absolutely gorgeous!!!!what a cutie xx


----------



## hiltra

Congrats Napy!! Fab news 
So pleased for you xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thank you olinaiti.  You are such a sweetie. Xxxx


----------



## Diane72

Good luck Daisy May, hope the scan goes well.


Diane x


----------



## HEC

Do hope all goes really well with the scan, Daisy Maisy! We have to wait a bit longer for transfer as our SM started to bleed despite the drugs so we're not sure when it will go ahead now. So disappointing but for the best. Focusing on work to distract - and it works most of the time...


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi ladies.

Babies were fine last week, but having some issues with sm cervical length as it had shortened.

Just hoping for the best.

Xxxxx


----------



## olinaiti

Good luck Daisy ! Thinking of you and your babies   !


----------



## Susieque44

Hi Everyone

Firstly WOW !! Seems to be some fantastic stories on here - a massive congrats to everyone that has been successful on this journey !!!

I first started IVF at 21 - after 7 failed attempts i'm now 35 and starting on the surrogacy journey. I've been very fortunate to have a friend offer to consider being a GS for me - fingers crossed it all works out. We are currently discussing everything and taking our time (and boy there's lots to discuss.)

If you guys don't mind l have a few questions if poss......

As we haven't met though COTS or SURROGACY UK, we have both noticed that Surrogacy UK hold conferences - are these good to go to ? Are they good to meet IP's & Hosts who have been though the whole process ?

Also l have spoken to Natalie Gamble and will be making a appointment to take all the legal advise - however after reading the forum do the IVF clinics still require some sort of agreement ? Im with Care @ Notts.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated xxxx

Thanks


----------



## Susieque44

Sorry me again one other question .........

Ive read various forums suggesting that it may be better to use donor eggs after so many failed attempts my doc thinks its my womb rather than my eggs. Has anyone been successful with surrogacy with your eggs after failed IVF.

Sorry for the questions guys xxxxx


----------



## MandyPandy

Hi Leanne - I also found my GS surro through other means than COTS or SUK.  The clinics do require you to have an agreement but it is easy enough to draw one up yourself.  Lawyers are not allowed to tell you what you should or shouldn't put in anyway, as they are not legally binding.  I posted a link to one on this thread a few pages ago.

In terms of meeting other IP's/Surros, you can go on SUK's forum and become a non member.  There are also a few secret ** groups out there for people who are genuinely going through the process.

I am using OE (and in fact am starting stimms next week) even though I have had failures too.  I don't know what is preventing me from getting pg - whether it's my eggs or my womb, so we are going with OE anyway.  

Redamber - there's an IP/Surro list that you could add yourself to?  I'm sure you'll be inundated with requests immediately for IP's wanting help.

Hope everyone else is doing well!

I'm currently on a short D/R ready to start stimms as soon as AF arrives.  My surro has been D/R for a couple of weeks now and has just started on the oestrogen.  She's already had a scratch (which I wanted her to do to maximise the chances of it working), as well as an aquascan and a mock ET, so we're all just ready and waiting to rock and roll.


----------



## Diane72

Hello All   

Leanne, I had my baby with my own eggs and my sister was a surrogate. We didn't put an agreement in place but we did discuss everything up front, which I think is really important.

RedAmber, just to say it is a wonderful thing you are doing.

Daisy, thinking of you and sending lots of positive vibes

MandyPandy     

Diane x


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thank you Diane. Next scan in two weeks. Wishing time away- I want to get to 28 weeks!!!!! Xxx


----------



## Diane72

Daisy          Hugs


----------



## napy

Daisy and HEC, wishing you the best!  Daisy I hope everything continues smoothly for your SM's pregnancy.  HEC, hoping that you can have a cycle soon.  The waiting is such a hard part of the surrogacy journey.


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi everyone.

Just thought I would up date.

We had another scan this week and everything seems fine at the moment. CL is 3.57cm which is normal.

Here's to hoping!

Xx


----------



## olinaiti

So happy for you Daisy   !


----------



## olinaiti

Rose is 1 y today  !


----------



## Diane72

Wonderful news Daisy!!!!

Happy first birthday Rose, hope you all had a wonderful day!!!

Diane x


----------



## napy

Wow, how time flys!  I can remember when Rose was born.  Olinati, I'm sure you are having lots of fun with her.

Diasy, glad to hear things are good with you!

Napy


----------



## selene78

wannabemom2013: I was not happy with LVF either, and think that it is good to warn people. I think we all quite regularly follow the subjects.  I know that it might be connected with huge emotions, but so there is no need to post the same message 9 times. It doesn't look serious.

nappy: we know you are real Don't worry

It is just I think that lately LVF is not quite the same it was apparently. I heard/read very good opinions about this agency. And when I tried to cooperate with them I was surprised by good communication level, but not by proffesional level.  
Apperently here on this forum are people who know good stories and those who know bad ones.
But hey - this is the place we exchange opinions. So don't be offensive ladies!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Hi napy. I'm so glad that u are well. U know that I have followed your story for a long time- when we were expecting Eva and Joshua! 

Just a quick update from me- sm in hospital due to shortening of the cervix, so things are still very unsure again. Just hoping to get to 28 weeks. We are 27 weeks in Monday, but we know from bitter experience that things can change so quickly.

Wannabeamom- I'm so sorry that u have had a bad experience, and I think it's important to tell the good and the bad. We had a very bad experience  with an ivf clinic in Spain, but at the same time I know others who have had great outcomes. There is even a thread on ff to say how great it is! I don't agree, but I still believe that they, as individuals, had a good experience. Perhaps we were the unlucky ones? Good luck on your journey.

Love to all.

Daisy. Xxx


----------



## napy

Hello DaisyMaisy!  So nice to hear from you and thanks for your message.  I will be keeping my fingers firmly crossed that things stay on course for you and your surrogate mother.  Surrogacy is such a rough road to take to have a child.  I think I was in a constant state of anxiety for the several years that we were trying to have our two little girls.


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Napy- yes I agree. I think in even more anxious after losing Eva and Joshua. I call it the fear. The clinic have been fab and I know that they are doing everything possible to keep the babies in. It's very difficult, as if our sm was in the uk, she would have been sent away and told to come back fit monitoring in 4 weeks. However, in Ukraine, she's on bed rest for the duration! I think it's just a different way- in England, nothing gets done unless it has to. Lol. 

Here's to hoping that we reach 28 weeks (1 week and 2 days- not that I'm counting). 

Love daisy. 

Xxxx


----------



## wannabemom2013

Hey Daysy Maysy

Thank you for your understanding. You are right, you can always be the unlucky one. But I think you mentioned one important point: La Vita Felice is not as it was maybe a year ago. We also went there because we heard so many good things. Now we hear also from friends that they have similar problems. The agency had many legal problems in the last months. They have been closed and reopened. Probably this was largely influencing the bad communication in the last months. I just posted my experience everywhere, so that nobody gets fooled like us as well. For us it is too late anyways.


----------



## DaisyMaisy

A question for those of you who has done surrogacy in Ukraine; can you drink the tap water? Just thinking about making bottles and if we can just take it from the tap (obviously boiled) or if we will need to buy lots of bottled water! 

Xxx


----------



## wannabemom2013

you can drink the tap water, but it is not very tasty. Better just buy water there from local supermarkets


----------



## napy

DaisyMaisy, I would NOT drink the tap water in Ukraine.  We were just there in February and we bought bottled water the whole time we were there.  They also have special "Baby Water" that has a picture of a baby on it. I don't know how it is different but we had heard about it from other couples.  We used that when we could get it to make up our daughter's bottles for her.  We used the regular bottled water when we couldn't get it.  The water is sort of yellow over there and it's not something you want to drink. It's only for bathing and cleaning. Nobody drinks the tap water over there.


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thanks napy. I just replied on the other thread! Lol. I will keep a look out when we go over for the baby water. I'll be sure to buy the bottle with the baby on it. I'm sure we will have to buy in bulk!

Thanks again. Hope all is well with you.

Daisy. Xxx


----------



## nevergiveup1

Hi Leanne, I had 9 rounds of IVF and at 38 was told by doctors at crgh that surrogacy was a saste of time and it was probably my eggs. My surrogate fell pregnant on the first round with twins! We lost one and now have a beautiful 2.5yrold. and at the grand age of 41 after 4 rounds with the same surrogate and my eggs again we fell pregnant again with twins. We lost the little girl at 18 weeks pregnant, the pregnancy went to term and she gave birth to a little boy. All my sorry old eggs!! So it is definately worth a try with your own eggs first.!! Good luck!
it was a wonderful journey and i feel blessed to have shared every moment with my wonderful surrogate


----------



## DaisyMaisy

I have a question about passport applications of anyone can help.

Did ur dh or the surrogate sign on behalf of the child when applying for a passport?  

Thanks

Daisy. Xxx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

Thanks ar!!

That's what I was thinking. Nobody is giving us an answer; not ips or our immigration lawyer. I was thinking dh tho as we are applying for a British passport off the back of him. 

Xxx


----------



## olinaiti

Daisy Maisy , I hope everything is still going well with the pregnancy , good luck !


----------



## HEC

Hi Daisy Maisy. Do hope all is going really well! 
We understood that it would be DH made the application for passport with a letter of consent from SM.
We had our transfer on Friday so now have the long wait for the pregnancy test. It's our final attempt and we're steeled for the worst so that we don't get hit too hard - that's the theory anyway!
Take care and lots and lots of luck to you and to everyone at whatever point on the roller coaster trip!

HEC


----------



## DaisyMaisy

That's exactly what I thought. We have an official document that she needs to sign after birth saying that she doesn't object to a passport and that its ok for dh to have 'parental responsibility '. Every time I ask someone official they just say 'I don't know- the guidelines have changed.' But it does make sense for it to be dh as sm is signing over responsibility and we are applying for a British passport off the back of him. I think once they are born, dh to sign and then just hope for the best! 

We are currently in Ukraine awaiting their arrival. A meeting with the clinic today just to go though things that need to be signed after the birth.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I'll be sure to keep u updated!

Hec, I was just thinking about you the other day. I hope the 2ww passes quickly for you. I have everything crossed for a positive outcome. I hope you are doing ok?

Love daisy. Xxx


----------



## napy

Daisy, this is so exciting that you are already in Ukraine now.  I bet the weather is a lot nicer than when we were there in February. It was so cold and it snowed many mornings.  Being from the south in the US, I'm not used to cold weather very much!  Thankfully it was only a few weeks.

HEC,  I hope so much that you get a positive result from your latest transfer!  I'll be thinking about you over the next two weeks.

Napy


----------



## olinaiti

Hi!
It's been a while since I've been here and just wanted to check how everyone is doing.
How long do you have left until due date Daisy? I'm so happy for you   , good luck !
Hec good luck with the 2ww!
Can't believe how time flies, Rose is 14m soon and nearly walking on her own . She seems like such a big girl now already and has developed  a lovely relationship with her big brother even though they have a 7y age difference  . Also another bit of good news is that my motherinlaw is now clear of cancer after her chemo so hopefully that's all behind us now ...
Best of luck to everyone !!!


----------



## DaisyMaisy

That's great news about your mil!!! Fantastic! 

We are currently in Ukraine. After being told to come over sharpish as labour was looking likely, the clinic are now talking to us about planned c-sections!! Our sm is being seen next week so I assume I decision will be made then.

Hope everyone is well. 

Xxx


----------



## Diane72

Wonderful news Olinaiti! So glad to hear your mother in law is doing better. Enjoy Rose! Iona is 18 months now and every day we still feel blessed to have her.

Daisy, Good luck! I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible xxxx

Diane x


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## napy

Best of luck Daisy!  I hope they can stay in your surrogate mother as long as possible.  I'll be thinking of you!

Great news Olinati about your mother-in-law, now she can fully enjoy her grand-kids.

Elektra is four months old and a real sweetheart.  She's growing like crazy too! 

Napy


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## DaisyMaisy

Just pooping on quickly to tell you that Imogen and Jacob were born on Saturday. They are so beautiful and I'm totally in love with them. I can't stop looking at them. I can't believe they're mine; I feel so lucky.

All of the clothes we've bought them are too small as they're so big! Now desperately trying to dry clothes after buying the whole of mothercare! Lol. 

Hope everyone else is ok?

A very happy Daisy. Xxx


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## selene78

Daisy please take my best wishes to all your family! I am very happy that you finally find your happines)
Best of luck to you!
Kate


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## MissSplendid

Daisy - this is terrific news. So very happy for you!! Keep us updated. When are you likely to come home?! xx


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## olinaiti

Oh Daisy , I'm so very happy for you and your family  !
Enjoy the precious early days with your babas, they do grow up so quickly ! Rose is 14m already...
Lots of love and big congratulations hugs from all of us . Rose sends a sloppy kiss  , she's just learned to do this !


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## alongtimecoming

Daisy - so pleased for you, have been following you for what seems like forever!! I love havppy sm stories!

Afm I've been AWOL from ff for some time but our last surrogacy was over a year ago now so we are going to start the journey again. This will be 4th Ivf but second surrogacy.


We have two frosties although not that good quality so considering a fresh round.

Our last surro isn't able to do it again so we are going to join one of the agencies.... Any recommendations? We looked at cots and surrogacy uk before but then our friend offered so we never joined.

Any advice greatly appreciated.

Hope you are all doing well.

Xx


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## hiltra

Hi Ladies

Hope you're all well.
Just wanted to join the thread as we are weeks away from having our twins using my SIL as our surrogate.

It has been an emotional journey but we are so close now and can't wait to hold our babies in our arms.

I had a quick question - we were told by the Senior midwife that my SIL and my brother would have to go on the birth certificate because they were married.
However, when we had our counselling, we were told that my brother could refuse to go on the birth certificate and SIL could place my partner on there instead.
Is this true? We would like to get out facts right before meeting with the Senior midwife next Friday.

You knowledge is most welcome.

Many thanks
Trace xx


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## DaisyMaisy

Hi hiltra. As far as I'm aware, if your sm is married, her husband will go on the birth certificate. We did surrogacy abroad, but was advised to choose an unmarried surrogate so dh would go on the birth certificate. I may be wrong tho, as it may just be abroad.   on the children's original birth certificates, it's me and dh due to the law. But as far as I'm aware (embassy can grant us UK birth certificates if we wish), but were told it would be sm and dh if she is unmarried and sm and her dh if she is married.  Not sure if that helps at all? After this, you can then apply for parental responsibility.

Thank you everyone for your lovely comments. I can't believe they're are here. We are still in the maternity but hoping to be back to our appartments soon.



Xxx


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## hiltra

Thanks Daisy - much appreciated.

Congrats on your bundles of joy!
Wishing you lots of happiness xx


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## DaisyMaisy

Update- we're going home! Well, not home home, but kiev apartment home! 😊😊

Xx


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## Katie88

Congrats daisy  
What did your bundles weigh and what gestation?
X


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## olinaiti

Congrats and good luck with your babies Hiltra  !
Happy you got to leave the hospital Daisy !


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## Diane72

Hiltra, 

My sister who was my surrogate is married and for this reason her husband had to go on the birth certificate. In reality her husband actually really wasn't very supportive of her doing the surrogacy so we didn't really want to have to have him go through the legal process if we thought that was an option but we were advised by a lawyer that the process would be much more difficult and probably require even more legal hassle for him if he didn't go on the certificate. The option of him refusing our lawyer told us is for extreme cases like the husband has absconded or they are in the process of divorce or something like that and you need to give a legal justification. It is much more straightforward if he just goes on and you follow the normal process.

Daisy I'm sooooooooooo pleased for you- congratulations!

Diane


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## napy

Congratulations Daisy!!! I'm so happy for you and your husband that your lovely twins have finally arrived!!  I love your name choices too. My mother's middle name is Imogene, and she has been going by "Jean" for many many years now.  Have a wonderful time with your little ones.  How is Ukraine in the summer?  I wish we could have seen it during the warmer months.


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## duffy7

Daisy billiant news....congrats! must be amazing!

No luck for us yet, 2 failed cycles with SIL, 3rd and probably last in a month or so...fingers crossed.

Hope everyone is well xx


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## hiltra

Hi Diane

Thank you very much for that info.
Very helpful 

X


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## olgakorbut

Hello all new to this area,

Sorry folks but not been on FF for quite a while to say the least and the boards have changed somewhat e.g. I couldnt see how to write a new post so am using this area - so hope you can read it.

We've had numerous failed attempts at IVF (donor) in Czech republic, the last being over 2years ago now, when I got pg and lost twins at 3 months. I found out I have a problem thro the Dr Gorgy clinic in London, but being in and out of work since then I have not been able to afford treatment which would be very very costly i believe. I still have two embryos over there and recently had a confirmation from the consultant at Brno that i could use a surrogate. Not sure where to start, how much it costs, are there some surrogates who only have costs for travel, hospital appointments etc or is it always mores. I am now just 50 and would love to consider the option of a surrogate now he has said yes!!!! if not it will be the adoption route but that would take so long.

Can anyone point me in the right direction please as to where to get the ball rolling (I have the surrogacy UK website details etc) with it being that the embryos are already there I just need to somebody to kindly be the helpful person to carry them, it would so make our day, we've had a very long journey and heartbreaking one!!!    xxxx Thanks all Olgakorbut (Kathy) xxx


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## olgakorbut

CAN ANYBODY HELP AT ALL AS HAD NO ANSWERS OR AM I ON THE WRONG BOARD?  THANKS ALL xxxx


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## DaisyMaisy

Hiya.

We did international surrogacy, not surrogacy in the UK, so I'm afraid I can't offer any advice.

Good luck ok your journey.

Daisy. Xxx


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## olgakorbut

Thanks DaisyMaisy. Bit confused, easily done!    The embryos were produced in Czech at Reprofit, Brno and they are donor. The consultant has said we can do surrogacy if there is a medical reason, which I have found out I have after having tests done. I have sent the tests to the consultant to look at. I asked at the same time could we use a surrogate from Czech, he says we would need to bring our own carrier.  


Does this count as international the same as you?


Olga xxxx


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## DaisyMaisy

If the surrogate lives in Czech (is a citizen) and gives birth there, this is international. You will then have to apply for a British passport off the back of your dh (it is easier if the surrogate is unmarried). You then have to wait for a British passport for baby before you can fly home.

If you have a UK surrogate undergoing tx in Czech, but is British, lives in UK and gives birth in the UK , it is not classed as international. Again, it's easier if your surrogate is unmarried. 

If she is married, then her name and her husbands name will go on the birth certificate. Of she is unmarried, her name and your dh's name will go on the birth certificate.


Xxx


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## olgakorbut

thank you it all makes sense now. Mine is a bit complicated though the embies are already there in czech from our treatment, we had two left so it isn't starting from scratch, just need the surrogate to go over there with me to have them put back (a friend of mine did that and was at the same clinic, a close friend of hers took the embies on board).


So not sure what I do to be honest, just guess if I want to go ahead I look for a UK surrogate to take the frozen embies.


thanks for your help!
xx


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## ♥JJ1♥

Hi Olga i contacted Stephan at Reprofit and he said that he was happy to have a UK surrogate attend his clinic and have embryos (yours or donor) transferred - as an FET for her and then she returns to the UK and the baby is born here as DaisyMaisy said.
Good luck xx


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## olgakorbut

Thanks JJ1 I feel so much more positive about things now, I really thought that i would not be able to use the embryos and it was killing me to think that I could not go back for another chance. Stepan is going to look at my test results to see if there is anything at all he can do for me to carry, but we've already got 3 angels from there, so not sure if he will be able to do anything.


thank you so much !xxx


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## TeamD

Daisy!!!! Whoop!!   just seen you've had your twins! Haven't been on here for a lonnnnggggg time! (see my post on surrogacy board!) So happy for you, congratulations! How long are you abroad for now? Xx


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## TeamD

Napy! You've had your baby too whoop! Congratulations!!!!!! It's so fab to see good news, gives me hope  At same time I can't believe I'm back at square one and so much has happened since I was on here last, want something good to happen for us 
Congrats again, cherish every moment xx


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## surrogate013

Hello
I'm wondering if anybody has any advice about telling the IPs about a BFN mine have been through a lot and when i told them today i felt like i'd really hurt them and let them down  they were lovely about it but seemed disappointed . It was an early test, so there is still hope but i feel very bad for them, as it must have been bad enough not actually being there while the tests where taken without getting a BFN. Not sure i handled it with as much sensitivity as i could have any advice done would be most appreciated.


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## olgakorbut

Surrogate 013 I do really feel for you and I'm sure you handled things as well  as could have been expected. I'm not a surrogate but am actually looking for one and am sure other surrogates and board mentors will respond. But I would like to give you a big    Sure it will be successful next time xx


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## olgakorbut

Could somebody tell me how to post without having to use the reply mechanism please as I used to be able to post in the past without this - lol it's changed so much since I was last on here!   


On another note, post the lovely responses I received last time, I've looked at the UK Surrogacy website and also COTS and asked for an account on there for the message boards - still awaiting a response but have had answers as a guest - I didn't realise surrogacy could be so expensive, I think my friend who had a surrogate was very lucky as it was a neighbour, but am so thrilled for her in having her little girl as she went through alot. Sorry I am ranting on - are there any other avenues I should take a look at apart from these two websites - I believe you cannot advertise for a surrogate but are there any private connections that can be used at all? any advice gratefully received and thank you all xxx


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## surrogate013

olgakorbut Thanks for you support    back to you and i hope you find your surrogate.  

As for the surrogacy is there a friend or family member that would consider doing it for you? I am doing it for a family member and it's been a really nice bonding experience, so far the only expenses have been pregnancy tests and home insemination kits and i can't in-vision there being any more really  xx Good luck with everything!!


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## olgakorbut

Hi Surrogate 013 - you are very welcome and what a fantastic thing you are doing, just like my friends surrogate, that's amazing. One of my friends offered her eggs a few years ago but now she is of an age that would not be possible for a surrogate.  Most of my family are older than me and friends I can't really think of anybody who could do this for me, but will have a think. It's a lot to ask, I really do wish I could find a friend or somebody that would do the same as you, as cost is an issue for me, as much as I so dearly want a child and really do!!! It would be nice to get somebody in the Midlands where I am from, not that it matters to be honest! We already have the embryos ready and waiting in Czech and would be happy to pay flights and so forth, so don't need the IVF treatment at all, just the tx.


Let me know how you get on and thanks for coming back to me - any thoughts or if you want to chat do send me a PM! xx


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## DaisyMaisy

Thanks for the congratulations teamd!!  

Hope all is well. 

Xxo


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## napy

TeamD, thank you so much!  It is so nice to hear from you again and I've been wondering about you since I hadn't seen any posts from you lately. I hope you are doing good and still pursuing your dream.  Our little daughter Elektra is almost six months old now.  Hard to believe.  Time has really flown by since we got back from Ukraine.

Daisy, are you still in Ukraine?  I have an American friend who is in Kiev right now with her newborn twins (boy and girl born on July 18th). Hopefully she will be coming home soon.

Take care everyone and don't give up on your dreams!
Napy


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## DaisyMaisy

Napy- we are still in Ukraine. We've been here two months now! It seems such a long time. Dh phoned the passport office yesterday, and she said that the passports could take up to 12 weeks!? 3 weeks down....... 

But, positives are that dh is here helping to look after them. If we were home, then he'd be at work. 

That's great news about your friend!   

I'm currently trying to feed my twins.  

Xxxx


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## Diane72

Surrogate 013,


Firstly it is wonderful you are doing this to help the couple. What I would say is if the test was early you really don't know. Although I never sustained a pregnancy as I always miscarried I did get pregnant seven times and always tested early. Sometimes the test was negative right up until the day before the test date and then miraculously on test day it was positive so you and the IPs should bear that in mind.


With regards to disappointment. Any couple who have turned to surrogacy usually have been to hell and back and have faced devastation countless times before seeking help from another kind soul to help them become a Mummy and Daddy. To be honest they will feel disappointed if it is negative so nothing you can say will help that so don't blame the way you handled it. The greatest thing for them will be if hope is not gone and you are willing to try again do let them know. ICSI would increase chances if they wanted to increase the odds of success. 


Sending yourself and the couple lots of hugs   


Diane x


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## Diane72

Hello to everyone else too!!!!


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## surrogate013

Thanks so much for all your kind words and advice Diane72 and olgakorbut, i think IP's and have had a very rough ride indeed so really  this works for them. Am now 2/3 days late and still testing negative (and have done around four tests, one first response) keeping up really good communication with IM (we are cousins by marriage anyway ) and she seems really hopeful, don't want to disappoint   . Thanks so much every one!! xxx


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## Caz

olgakorbut said:


> Could somebody tell me how to post without having to use the reply mechanism please as I used to be able to post in the past without this - lol it's changed so much since I was last on here!


If you scroll down to the bottom of the page there ought to be a quick reply box. You can type directly into that and hit the post button. If you can't see a quick reply box, you can turn it on in your settings (Profile, modify profile, look/layout). Hope that helps. 

C~x


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## poobear

Is it necessary to join an organisation like suk or cots as a surrogate or can you get support from the ******** sites and ff?


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## surrogate013

I don't think it's necessary but if you don't know your IP's before hand it may be unwise to this without any support as you do hear horror stories.  If you are after online support the american forums like all about surrogacy are good because surrogacy is a lot more common there. Good luck on your journey xx


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## Gen_D_

For a first time surrogate if you are not working with family/friends or someone you have known previously I think it is extremely wise to join one of the agencies. 

They can offer a lot of advice and information as well as practical support.


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## Janey waney

I agree with gen d I always try an advise first time surrogates to go with an agency as te first time can be quite daunting but  there are plenty of support groups if u do decide to go Indi.


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## ♥JJ1♥

Article on positive surrogacy stories... & in Daily Mail!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2442112/Surrogates-mothers-share-stories.html


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## eggtastic

That's nice - I wish I had a neighbour like that


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## Welshy10

Hi everyone just want to say hello we are new to here


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## leesax

I think if you join a surrogacy community on a ******** group or a forum there is a lot of support and experience to support first time surrogates and new ips, I do think that instead and just sitting waiting on agency lists it is worth getting out there, chatting to people and seeing if it leads to a match.


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## Welshy10

Hiya 
Do u just do a search or do u know a name of a site??
Xx


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## Welshy10

Hi everyone just found a site call surrofinder has anybody had experience with it??


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## hoya

Just joined FF. just check in and say hi. 
we're from central-europe and looking for surrogacy abroad, currently thinking of Georgia.


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## Janey waney

My Ips who I'm with now found me on surrogate finder


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## Oli

Hi,


I am fairly new to surrogacy but like everyone else, I have a long infertility journey behind me.  I am just after some advice really.  


I have contacted a few people through a couple of different websites. The trouble is nobody responds to my e mails despite asking for IP's to get in touch!  As you can imagine it is soul destroying to build your hopes only to have people ignore your messages.


I know this will not be instant but surely there are some genuine people out there who are happy to offer advice and support?  I am not really a ******** user but could begin to use ******** if people feel it could help and privacy could be guaranteed.


An advice would be most welcome.


Thank you for listening and best wishes to all of you on this journey.


Oli xx


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## heidiandrichie

Hello everyone. My husband and I have just been told that we can't have a baby. The problem seems to be on both sides. What kind of luck is that? We so, so want to have a child. We'll do anything. At the moment we are keeping an open mind about all our options. We would love to hear any thoughts or advice about the quickest way of introducing a little baby into our loving home. Thank you so much. Heidi and Richie


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## duffy7

Wishing every one a happy christmas and all the best for 2014..... Hope it's a special year xxx


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## tdale

Hi Ladies- Just posted this on the main page, hope its okay to ask again 

Im currently lost as to where to turn for help. I need a Doctor (clinic, nurse, etc...) who understands Inducing/ Adoptive Breastfeeding. Any advice as to where to go, or look?

TIA!


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## duffy7

Maybe start with the breastfeeding network and they could advise you on info for your doctor or midwife?


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## Irene81

3 attempts in Tbilisi. Result: BFN


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## ivf24

INA sorry to hear that, don't give up we have our finger's crossed our surrogate is 26 weeks after all our heartache.


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## Happy Mummy

Hi girls,

can I join? having surrogacy in US with donor eggs. 26 weeks and counting, 2 babies healthy and good weight each. Such a stressful journey though. Had several IVF and I personally feel it was nothing compared to this rollercoaster, but so happy and in love


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## Anny1970

Hi ladies,
I completely understand each of you. I suffered a lot of years before I saw at least a small hope. Our surrogate mother is on the 30th week of pregnancy!!! I can`t keep from crying when I think about those photos and videos we are supplied with by the workers of the clinic we went to. Of course these are the tears of happiness!!! May be you will not believe but I miss my child every day, every hour, every minute. I want to hug my future baby, to carry. I understand that my child is far away from me. I believe that my baby feels great. Moreover our surrogate mother is really great. We like her very much. We started preparing the room for our baby weeks ago and we are almost done. I am waiting for the delivery. It even seems to me that it is me who is going to deliver a child!!! I pray for the child and for the surrogate mother every day. Wish us good luck!!!


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