# New member, still TTC 1 yr after late miscarriage, aged 38.



## Guest (May 25, 2013)

Hi I left my first post in the East Midlands section as I live in Derbyshire, but thought I'd leave one here also, as it would be great to hear from anyone going through similar things. I lost a baby nearly a year ago at 20 weeks due to premature rupture of the membranes.   It was extremely traumatic, having to go through the delivery and terminate the pregnancy due to my amniotic fluid draining out, leaving the baby no chance of survival. I've found the past year very hard since then, have felt isolated & lonely and have been TTC with my partner since about October, to no avail. So far I've put it down to stress, plus I'm nearly 39 and I've felt really exhausted since last year's trauma. We got 2 lovely dogs after last year's loss which I love, but still would like to have our own baby. Anyway, early blood tests have all come up normal & my partner (36) wants to continue to TTC naturally until the Autumn, when we get married.  After that we'll be looking into IVF and maybe adoption, as I'm very aware of the clock ticking!

It would be lovely to hear from anyone & offer mutual support, as I don't know many people in my position (although I'm sure there are many). Thanks for reading and all the best with where you want to go   xx


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

and welcome to Fertility Friends   

FF is a lifeline for everyone and anyone, seeking support, information and lasting friendship whilst going through fertility issues. FF members are fantastic listeners when when family, friends, doctors and sometimes even partners just don't "get" what you're going through and feeling.

I've included some forum boards that may help answer some of your questions   
Have a look round the site and if you get a little stuck with the navigation side of things - please ask and we'll do our best to guide you.

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*FERTILITY INFO GUIDES ~ *CLICK HERE

*Starting out & Diagnosis ~ *CLICK HERE

*Pregnancy loss ~ *CLICK HERE  

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. CLICK HERE

FF's chat room is a fabulous place to 'meet' and chat with others. Our newbie chat is every Wednesday. A great chance to meet other new members and find out a little more about how the site works: 
*Newbie chat ~ *Click Here

All the best - our paths may cross again in other areas of the site.

Good luck,

  

Tis xx


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## stelpo (Jan 3, 2012)

Hi Sage
I'm in the same position, I lost our daughter in Jan at 21 weeks after my membranes ruptured at 20+3 - its so hard isnt it? She was so hard to come by, took me years and 3 x ICSI, yet I'm surrounded by people who get pg first attempt and they all get to bring a baby home....we've done one ICSI since but BFN - hoping to try again in July if my cycle ever gets back to normal! 
I understand what you mean about feeling isolated, I'm really struggling with people referring to her as a miscarriage, just makes me want to show them a picture, and point out that we had to bury her : ( Its amazing how many inappropriate comments people can make hey?

Hope you're doing OK

S x


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## daisyg (Jan 7, 2004)

Hi,

I am so sorry for both your losses. I just wanted to add some information which may be helpful before you continue TTCing. PROM can be an indication of a thrombophilia (blood clotting disorder).

Issues other than age can be a factor in loss and miscarriage and I would urge both of you to get tested for all the common causes of loss asap and before you continue as this may be a factor and you really don't want to ever go through what you've been through again.

Your GP can do many of the tests which would include.

Clotting issues - antiphospholipid syndrome, factor v leiden, MTHFR, anticardiolipins, prothrombin gene mutation.
Thyroid issues - your tsh needs to be between 1 and 2 for fertility and it is a common issue as we get older.
Infection for you and DH (another cause of loss). Ureaplasma, Mycoplasma, chlamydia, group b strep, BV etc.
Uterine issues for you - check all ok with uterus, cervical issues etc.
Autoimmune issues (inc. thyroid) TSH, T3, T4 antithyroid antibodies, Rheumatoid factor, antinuclear antibodies.
Assuming all ok with you and DH ref. karyotyping i.e. no genetic issues? These can be detected with blood test.
DH sperm ok?
There is a lot of great information on Agate's threads here

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=52.0

I would definitely urge you especially to check some of these for peace of mind. Wishing you the best of luck and hoping for success for you very soon.

Best,
Daisy
xxx


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## Guest (Jun 2, 2013)

Thanks for your reply Stelpo. Did you ever find out why your membranes ruptured? I'm still not totally sure, other than maybe due to infection as BV was found (I've struggled with that a lot & as yet not been able to eliminate sugar from my life, which I think could help). I did have PID in the past, but got it treated years before the pregnancy. Yes it's not like a miscarriage in 1st trimester, which is bad enough, but having to go through the labour and have a burial/cremation makes it even more difficult. I only looked at my baby's ashes this Friday. It's taken a whole year and when I suddenly did look, it wasn't so bad. Still wondering whether to contact my hospital about seeing my baby's photo, but not sure about that. I really hope things go well for you and you get a BFP and 9 boringly healthy months with a wonderful miracle at the end of it! xx

Daisy thank you for the info, that's so helpful and I will definitely discuss with my GP & consultant. I did already have testing for thrombophilia and I don't have it, so ruled that one out. My partner's not had his sperm looked at yet. So far we just assumed since I got pregnant before, we'd be able to again, but it's not been so easy this time! I was wondering about thyroid, as I heard that high cortisol (from stress) can lower your thyroid & oestrogen, affecting fertility. I was told my thyroid was ok too, but not given any numbers, so I'm going to ask for the exact numbers. Really helpful I will re-read the info!

Best wishes xx


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## stelpo (Jan 3, 2012)

Not totally sure, but I had several episodes of heavy bleeding every couple of weeks or so from 7 weeks until about 16 weeks, probably from the sac of the twin that didnt make it past 7.5 weeks. I think the bleeding probably weakened the sac, seems to be the most common cause along with incompetent cervix, which they dont think I had. I didnt have BV, and no obvious risk factors. I was already taking clexane and prednisolone for any possible clotting or immune issues. I try not to think too much about why it happened, fact is, it just did, and nothing I do can change that - chances of me having a rainbow are pretty slim, but hopefully if I am that lucky, things will go better.

S x


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## Guest (Jun 5, 2013)

I'm so sorry Stelpo. I had spotting at times during the pregnancy too, not sure why. It must have been so hard to go through losing both twins. The other day I was thinking about some women who seem to be really bad mothers, screaming at their kids in the street, etc and I thought how unfair life seemed. Then I thought like you that's just the way it is, for whatever reason those people became parents at that time and those children were born, to learn their own life lessons & influence others in their own way, just like ours have influenced us in what seems at first sight such a sad way. But hopefully we'll be better people from it, have a lot to give and can eventually take a step back and see things without the emotional pain. Best wishes xxx


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