# Sitting here on my own ....



## HJG (Jan 23, 2006)

.... been up since 5am, done a full day at work, collected children, put them to bed, fed DH, been to gym, fed myself now sitting here on my own.  I am cold and tired but most of all I need a wee and I am too scared to go to the toilet!  It is day 26 and the cramps have started and I can feel my hormones racing like they do each and every b***** month!

It begs the question, why can't I be happy with what I already have (also have a very special DSS age 11) and why do I keep doing this to myself?

Anyone else out there asking themselves the same?

Regards

HJG


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## Myra (Feb 18, 2005)

HJG  

Cannot answer your question hun, but just wanted to give you a hug because you are sitting on your own


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## KW33 (Apr 10, 2006)

HJG

    I could have written that post.  I feel exactly the same.  Why why why can't I be happy with what I have...    I'm so incredibly lucky to have my beautiful daughter but somehow I don't feel complete.  It's so hard going through the TTC thing every month and getting to this point (in my case cd30) and feeling all the pre af signs due to hormones, I get angry with my body and wonder when can I stop.  When will I be ready to say no more?  Because I'm not there yet despite the hysterics and sobbing that I go through every darn month.

So big hugs to you    

Karin

xxx


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## Shoe Queen (Feb 28, 2008)

HJG, Myra and Karin - wanting to send you all huge         you are not alone  x


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## KW33 (Apr 10, 2006)

Neither are you Cath      

xxx


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## Popp1e (Jul 28, 2009)

Hey all,

Wow you are definitely not alone in how you r feeling. This time last year I was told that my chances of concieving even with IVF was v low. However like so many women I pursued the heart ache thats IVF and was totally amazed when we got PG through FET. I'm now sitting here starring at my DD totally in love, although after 4 hours of constant crying I have a whole in my head the size of the grand canyon. So why after only giving birth recently am I now thinking about baby no 2. And worse than that, getting myself depressed at the thought that it might never happen again. 

Last yr i kept saying to myself if I could just have one, I;d be happy. Now I'm happier than ever although I have something different floating around my head, if I cld just have another than our family will be complete and DD will have a sibling. If and a very big IF we concieve again will I still feel the same.

I've not been on FF for a while but its good to be back and knowing that I'm not alone.
Popxx


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## HJG (Jan 23, 2006)

I am far more broody (that's such a naff word for the strength of what I feel) than before I had the girls.  

They should add that into the terms and conditions/contraindications of your fertility treatment "Warning - becoming a parent may seriously damage your chances of ever being satisfied".  

Before I got pregnant I thought oh well, I'll be sad but we can do Z, Y and Z, buy a sports car, travel the world, spend Sunday afternoon's in the pub!  Now I am packing up to go the park, zoo whatever and I think what a shame I'm going out to pack up my lovely 4x4 Lexus (with only 5 seats), I'd be so much happier if I had had to trade it in for a 10 year old minibus to fit in all my lovely children!!!!  Mad, bonkers, insane, is there a pill I can take!  Perhaps hypnosis - what is wrong with us!!!!!

AF is now here proper and I am verging on the hysterical as you may have guessed.

Thanks for all of your messages.  It helps to know I am not the only one's who's head (and heart) are causing them all sorts of saddness.

HJG


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