# So, what's first?



## elliepeto (Sep 9, 2015)

Hey!
So my story in a few words is like this. Partner and I decide we want a baby. He is 42 and I am 32. 
I thought it would be easy since, I am in good health, and have a regular cycle.
But it's been almost 9 months and nothing. Is it too early? The girls I spoke to got pregnant between 5-7 months of trying regularly.

My GP can't find a problem with me. Back in October 2014 a test revealed a possible HPV virus but I got tested last month and it was clear.
Does that affect anything? 

Sorry, long story short, what are the steps I need to take? 

xx


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

has he had any testing? don't assume its you...
are you both taking vitamins etc?
is he avoiding hot baths, alcohol, smoking etc? 
good luck


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## kez26 (Jul 10, 2015)

Hi Elliepeto,

I was trying for around 2 years before I went to my GP who referred me to the fertility clinic in our closest hospital. I think a general rule for being referred is 2 years of trying, but this could be different in your area, as I know it can be completely different everywhere you go. However due to being 32 you might what to ask your GP if you can be referred as the whole process for me has been really long (due to some complications with one of the tests), we have now been TTC for over 3 years and it was only in July I found out that my tubes are blocked (plus more but dont want to bore you too much).

My point to asking to be referred is that I have chosen to egg share and if I was over 36 I would not be able to do it. I am 32 now so have 4 years left to do it. You never know your GP might allow you to be referred rather than wait over a year.

Like gold bunny said it may not even be you! So try not to worry too much as that makes it even harder to conceive

Good luck 

Kez xx


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## bobo66 (May 1, 2012)

Hello elliepeto,

Welcome to FF! I'm sorry TTC is taking longer than you ever expected. Do you know of any potential fertility problem for either of you, apart from the possible HPV which is now clear?

I think infertility is usually defined by the medics as not conceiving within 12 months of trying if the woman is under 35. Despite all the warnings and scares about pregnancy when you're younger, it can take up to 12 months even if you're both reproductively healthy. Not that that's much comfort when you're in the last few months and getting worried. I'd agree with the others that it's best to research options and definitely push to get referred before 2 years - and if there are any potential fertility concerns you know of, then push to get referred right now.

Hoping you get what you're hoping for soon...
Xx


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## elliepeto (Sep 9, 2015)

Goldbunny, thanks, we both follow a healthy diet, no smoking, no drinking (well, it's harder for him to quit drinking entirely) but i didn't know hot baths can affect him. We are members of Virgin active so we often go to the spa there (jacuzzi and steam room)  

Kez26, you are not a bore at all, I would love to hear all about it. A lot of people have told me to wait until after 12 months of trying, and like you said, if i stress too much about it, it might be worse.

bobo66, I am not aware of anything else. My partner keeps joking that when he was working in research labs (he used to be a geneticist) radiation has destroyed his sperm (which is not funny cause I'm freaking out) and his GP told him to get tested after 14 months of trying. 

So everyone goes through their GP? What about any private practices? I am just afraid it might take ages to be referred.


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## andrealouise (Jun 24, 2014)

Hi elliepeto, when I didn't have any luck after 6 months I went to the doctors & told them I had been trying for over a year (white lies don't hurt in this situation) - a sperm test was simple for us.  We were given a form & a phone number to ring & went for the test within 2 weeks.  Our doctor was understanding so didn't argue when we asked for a sperm test as its the first basic test they do.  
Also if you haven't already buy some cheap ovulation tests (ebay) just to make sure you're ovulating when you think you are.  As others have said heat is bad (apparently that's why testis are on the outside of the body so they stay cooler).  Good luck


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## kez26 (Jul 10, 2015)

You can go private Ellie, I would just wouldn't be able to afford it myself. 
Are you taking any vitamins at all to help with conceiving? Have you also tried an ovulation test as well to help you estimate the day you ovulate every month? 
I have an app on my phone which tracks my period which then estimates when I will ovulate (also tells me when I am due on etc). Think I've been tracking it not for well over 2 years and its quite good. Can input loads of other data as well if you wanted. If you haven't got one already I would defo advise downloading one. If you go to your app store and search 'Period Tracker' there are a few to choose from (mine is called period calendar and is a pink logo with a light pink flower)

Free free to inbox me directly if you want to  I don't know everything obviously but if I can help I will  xxx


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## bobo66 (May 1, 2012)

Ellipeto,

You may be able to go directly to a private doctor, but I think most people go through their GP - this means you can find out what you're eligible for on the NHS, and definitely means the initial testing can be done on the NHS. Your GP should be able to do blood tests and semen analysis, and then after that can refer you - in some places, the wait to be seen at the NHS hospital isn't long at all.


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## DollyBlueBags (Aug 5, 2014)

Hiya. 

All I'd say is don't wait around and don't take any crap of your GP. 

I was 25 when I went to my GP and explained that after 9 months of trying nothing had happened, she referred me straight away to an NHS fertility clinic and I'm 27 next week and still not pregnant. 

If i'd been told to go away and come back when the 2 years was up and then start everything I'd be hitting 30! 

You want to try and get all your tests done for free on the NHS before you move over to private (thats what we did) becasue my hubby's had 3 sperm tests for free but they would of cost £200 each at our private clinic. 

xx


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

I know it's hard all the waiting, but in the absence of any obvious problems I wouldn't worry about taking drastic action at this stage. I think people like Zita West and the Taking Charge of Your fertility people say 12-18months is the average time for couples to conceive: the taking charge of your fertility book is quite a good buy if you want a detailed idea of how your cycle works, and it gives tips about temping and tracking your cycle.  

Maybe have a look at what rules your CCG has in place for assisted conception and fertility investigations: most are 12-24 months for women under 35 without any known condition. I think it's a good idea for people to find out what they are entitled to, and when, from their CCG rather than trusting what their GP tells them. In my experience GPs often don't really "get" IVF/fertility  

Good luck - and don't worry, we know it's frustrating and hard, but hopefully it will be soon for you  

Xxx

P.s. Ignore all those people who say "don't stress and it will happen" stress hasn't really got any impact on pregnancy - look at all the poor babies born into war torn countries: it might delay ovulation, but that's about it


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## elliepeto (Sep 9, 2015)

Thank you so much, all of you! 

kez26 I will pm you about that tracker app.

Cloudy, thank you very much for your advice, that was very helpful and it also made me feel a bit better.

People mention vitamins. What kind of vitamins are better for this, like iron and such or something more specific?


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## kez26 (Jul 10, 2015)

Morning Ellie,

No problem.. There are loads of vitamins to be honest. There are a few threads on here with lots of advice but the ones I see pop up a lot are (which I copied and pasted recently from someone else on here):
Coenzyme Q10 - 2 x 35mg per day - Promotes blood flow in ovaries to increase egg quality and can prevent miscarriage
L-Arginine - 1 x 500mg per day - Helps with implantation
Royal Jelly - 3 x 500mg per day - Improves egg quality
Bee Propolis - 1 x 500mg per day - Acts as a natural antibiotic.  Evidence suggests this can increase chance of pregnancy by 20-60%
Resveratrol - 1 x 50mg per day - Fish oil based to calm the lining of the womb, also good to treat endometriosis
Alpha Lipoic - Helps with embryo cell division and healthy progression
Pycnogenol - Helps with NK cells and implantation
Omega 3
Pregnacare

I take a lot more than this and there are a few that I don't take yet 

Kez xxx


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## elliepeto (Sep 9, 2015)

oh great, thanks for these.

I thought Pregnacare was only for once you got pregnant.

I've heard of Royal Jelly and Q10, I didn't know they helped with that though. 
I'll hit the shops right after work! 
I guess royal jelly and propolis I can only find in places like Holland&Barrett...?


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## Roxbury1 (Nov 22, 2013)

Be careful with stuff like Royal Jelly and bee propolis - I was taking both as Dr Google had recommended them, but I read 'It Starts With The Egg' by Rebecca Fett and there was quite a lot of research suggesting that they can do more harm than good... Am not saying don't take them, just do a bit of reading yourself first   COQ10 seems to be universally recommended though.


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## elliepeto (Sep 9, 2015)

Thanks Roxbury...do you mean they have side effects, or they can be bad if you go over the dosage?


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## kez26 (Jul 10, 2015)

No problemo 

there is one for preconception I believe. I take a different make to be honest but apparently Pregnacare is the best.

I got my bee propolis from the internet ages ago when I was trying to lose weight and just used those, but when I run out I will defo get them from H&B because I don't really trust the internet as you never know what they add to them. xx

I have ordered that book Roxbury so will defo read that... I've not read anything about saying they cause harm so might have to stop taking them. Do you know what problems they could cause??


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## Roxbury1 (Nov 22, 2013)

Just got home and checked the book - apparently royal jelly contains chemicals which act like hormones, which can then disrupt natural hormone balance or interfere with IVF medications, which necessarily take control of your body's hormones etc. It also namechecks L-arginine as one to be mindful of, with some research suggesting that while it may help increase mature follicles/eggs it could decrease the quality. Quite small studies though to be fair...

And yes Pregnacare definitely do conception multivitamins for both men and women.

Sorry, not trying to scaremonger and I know some people swear by these supplements so a lot of it's personal opinion!!

Xx


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## kez26 (Jul 10, 2015)

Awww thank you Roxbury,

it's really good to know to be honest. In my eyes its about quality not quantity. I would much prefer a few really good ones then loads of ok eggs.

Did you say there was something about the bee propolis as well? Only ask because I am currently taking them xx


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## Roxbury1 (Nov 22, 2013)

Don't think it says anything specifically about the bee propolis but I understood it to work similarly to royal jelly, though I could definitely be mistaken! It's all a minefield isn't it   xx


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## tealover (Aug 27, 2015)

Hi elliepeto. 

Hubby and I take pregnacare pre-conception vitamins. They are a good starting point until you see a specialist who may recommended other things. As others have said I would defo recommend tracking your periods and buying some ovulation sticks. The clearblue ones are expensive but I bought some cheap ones off amazon which work just as well, you just don't get a pretty smiley face to tell you you're ovulating!


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## kez26 (Jul 10, 2015)

Very true Roxybury lol x


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## elliepeto (Sep 9, 2015)

Thanks Roxbury! It's good to hear all opinions and check everything before you commit to something. 

I think I am sold on those Pregnacare multivitamins
thanks tealover for suggesting them!

Ovulation sticks ordered!
I think I will give it another month and then book an appointment to see my GP


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