# Newbie, where to start, need help and advice?



## olgakorbut (Jul 5, 2008)

Hi All

I really dont know where to start, I was previously on another board, which I still am, however I very good friend of mine who uses this board and is due twins in 10 weeks or so, referred me to here, and said how great it was and how much support I would get!

So here goes,  I am 45 and so want a child, just one would do!  anyway I conceived naturally at 42 and lost it at 3 months.  then we went to IVF, not because there was anything wrong with us, just our ages we believed were against us (in hindsight we wish we had carried on trying naturally).  Obviously my FSH levels were quite high because of my age, so I had double dosage of everything.  Anyway 3 attempts later, no good news, but two frozen.  My dilemma recently was do I try them, probably knowing they wont work, as none of the others do and the eggs are as old as you, which isnt good at my age (even if I was 44 when I got them), or do I go straight for donor egg??

I've had some great advice and help from Nic who referred me here and a 2 or 3 others, and have decided to go for FET first, otherwise I may think what if!  Been low today, hoping for AF but then again not, but signs are there so onto the clinic tomorrow and down the scary road, and my last attempt this way.

Apart from that it would be straight to donor egg - presuming my DH's fishies (that's what I call them more polite!) are still ok, if not it would be donor embryo's (like Nic).  The one thing is cost and I have heard loads about Spain and have info from IM, but others have done IVI, then Nic mentioned to me the other night Ukraine?? Where do you start folks please, I would prefer going to a sunny climate, but its costs.  I have been made redundant twice in 8 months and am currently trying to find another job. I've used alot of my savings and am now in my ISA account, hope fully not much will go.  But I know Spain is around £6 - £7K with meds and flights Ukraine seems much cheaper looking at the boards on here?? Is there a top 10 for clinics list I need to know how high success rates are, it seems such a lot to do to contact absolutely each and every clinic if it comes to it for us, which I am pretty sure it will.  Any advice please at all?

I have looked at adoption, but it may be a no go, as they often talk to ex partners and older children not living at home. On my side that is fine, on my DH's that's another story, and certainly not his fault, I inherited the stepdaughter from another planet - she hasnt lived with us for quite a while, and not sure she would put a good word in for us!  I also feel that donor egg, would at least be half of us, and to be honest it wouldnt make any difference to me, as I would be the one giving birth etc etc, the donor would just be my fairy godmother in my eyes.

So again it is cost, I could do some clinic prices I have looked at, but would rather choose between 2 or 3 with a high success rate for people of my age, I really would like only one shot at it, because of cost and Nic and friends of hers and others I've spoken to have been 44 and its worked!

See I told you I didnt know where to start etc etc - babbling on and I am new, you will all be falling asleep by now!

Any help would be gratefully received honestly it would!!!!!!!!!!xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

many thanks all
Olgakorbut
xxxx


----------



## babycrazy (Mar 17, 2006)

Also Try the Czech Clinics, Lots of mid 40s PG from Reprofit and a 56 yr woman just had Triplets, I also know of a 50yr woman having twins from there.. Long waiting list at this clinic but quicker through www.myivfalternative.com her fee is a bit high, but still works out cheaper than Spanish clinics and cheaper than ReproMeda, my TX clinic in same city as Reprofit.
I gave birth to my baby girl at home after 2hrs in labour a week after my 52nd birthday.  My clinics list are only a couple of months due I think as its a bit more expensive than most clinics in the CZ Rep.
Good luck with your journey to motherhood
XX
Karen
BC


----------



## poopy (Oct 11, 2005)

hi hun,
i had 2 de tx in spain (1 cancelled due to bad donor response) and did get a bfp but sadly m/c at 7 weeks.the cost was about 6400e plus meds and flights etc.spain is very easy to get to and flights are quite cheap.
after going back on the list quoted 5 to 6 months i decided to look at cheaper options and no waiting lists and eventually ened up looking at serum and life in athens i took both to my uk consultant and go and they both said life!! as dr dimitris had worked in the uk for 7 years in nhs then privatly at lfc and argc which as we know has the best results in the uk!
we didn't go for an inital consultation as we had done de before i got intouch with life in march and started tx  on 1st jusne so no list really the cost was much cheaper than spain 4000E all in (we did pay extra for bloods and scans once there)500e and pd 300e to frezze snowbabies which most clinics charge extra for anyway.
the care was second to no much more detailed and i couldn't reccommened dimitris enough.
the flights where more expensive with having to fly from the north much cheaper from london and as in any city athens is a bit pricey.anyway is was worth it as we did get a bfp last thurs so very pleased   but it is early days and after a m'c last time i'm just taking every day as it comes.
good luck with your descion and if you would like contact details please get intouch.
love poopy.xx


----------



## olgakorbut (Jul 5, 2008)

Thank  you poopy and Karen for your responses and I so hope you get your little one Poopy, and Karen brilliant that you have a little one at 52!  I saw Nic who put  me on here on GMTV the other day and she looked fabulous, so it gives us all hope.

If you could send me details Poopy that would be great, I want to research as much as I can, whilst I am trying my FET's.  Going to ask the clinic on Friday if they have a list of the type of costs it would be to get tests done, that way we could get them done asap and sent over to wherever.  It's still the cost thing for me though, I just need to get that elusive job, or win the lottery , so disheartening, but I have to keep my hopes up.  There is so much to learn, I still hear Spain is tops, but definitely think I should look at other options.

I look forward to getting the info P, and will go through your link Karen to take a look - building up quite a library of information!

You have given me hope still, so I wont give up yet

thanks again
Kathy xxx


----------



## maiella (May 15, 2008)

Hi there all,

Its a big decision I know.  I am 44 (just) and like you have a partner with children from a previous marriage.  We would love a child together, after 5 miscarriages over 8 years we decided to try IVF in January but without success.  You sound to have been more successful as I had no frosties at all - so good luck if you try with them - would love it to work.  I agree you need to know and dont want to think what if in future.

We have decided to go donor egg route and chose Spain due to fantastic reports and they seem to get results.  We went to IM last monday for our first appointment and were really impressed and we are going to give it a go.  Probably be about September by time I have done pill and patches and donor ready.  It was a massive decision (took us between Feb and May to decide!!) Now though I just want to get cracking and would love a baby my eggs or not.

happy decision making X


----------



## olgakorbut (Jul 5, 2008)

Thumbs up to you and I wish you all the luck in the world with donor eggs.  I think if my FET fails, then it will be Autumn that I will look to go abroad, it would be lovely to be pregnant for Xmas and I so hope you get there!

Keep me posted wont you about IM, I hate to think that my decision will be down to money, but either way if it succeeds I wont care, but would just like to only do it once!

take care and best of luck
Kathyxxx


----------



## maiella (May 15, 2008)

Hi

Will do and I am really interested in your treatment too so keep me posted on that.  I know what you mean about the money side - IM talked to us about their contract where you pay for 3 fresh treatments (inlcudes all frozen treatments as well) and if you are not pregnant after the 3rd then you get 70% refund.  Its all well and good but its just having that kind of money up front (works out about 21k).

For now we have decided to go for one treatment and review after that.  I have seen people on the threads that have been lucky first time and others who are having to go back.  The contract is a risk I suppose if you get pregnant first time then its a lot (but worth it if you get your baby) its good if you have to go back a few times.  Ultimately if you do not get pregnant at all after 3 fresh and frozen in between then you have 70% of your money back.

Anyway we will see how we go with commiting to one.

will keep everything crossed for you.  You have done really well to get frosties and lets hope they are little strong ones.  Have heard loads of good reports on acupuncture so am going to have a go alongside treatment.

take care XXX


----------



## olgakorbut (Jul 5, 2008)

Hi Maiella

Thanks for coming back to me, I will be routing for you so much, please do keep in touch and I will let you know how the FET is going, first scan today and doing it on a natural cycle as my OV seems to be pretty good each time, still at my age!

We couldnt do the 3 payments either, I have heard that one before, just hope that first time it will be lucky, for both of us!!!!  Its not long until you go and hubby and I could do with a break so maybe we can go out there and get all tests done and medication, and then you can go back when you are ready I've been told, so if we have to delay because of money so be it.

As for acupuncture I did it on two of my IVF cycles, it really helped with relaxation and ok the IVF didnt worked but I felt loads better for it, its like a detox to start with - oh and it does detox you just to warn you (TMI), but you feel much better.  There have been a couple of stories about it not working with treatment, but my acupuncturist has worked with the top lady in the country who does it and has a clinic Zita West, and its a load of rubbish. I say try anything if you think it may help!

Good luck, so excited for you, wish I was doing it about the same time, if I go that way, we could say hello on spanish soil!

Speak soon and thanks for your support!
Kathy xxxx


----------



## maiella (May 15, 2008)

Hi there,

Sorry its  taken me a week to reply - we took a last min holiday as we had a week off work - we took a cottage in Norfolk - was near a place called burnham Market - luckily we had lovely weather and took the dog on lots of lovely walks and even had couple of days chilling on the beach.  I would recommend for a relaxing break. Burnham market very expensive though!!! eating out was too expensive every night but the nights we did eat out we took advantage of the local crab and fish! (its beans on toast now for a couple of weeks!!) ha ha.

How you doing with scans?  would be fab if it worked out.  Am back at work monday and then waiting game for period so that I can start the pill and then its patches and tally ho!!  

Thanks for info on Acupuncture - may give it a go and see how I feel.

Hope you looking after yourself and keeping healthy for your treatment.  

take care, lots of love and best wishes XXX


----------

