# Failed Nhs icsi, how to find money and feeling so low



## Tilly44 (Mar 12, 2012)

Warning: misery alert!!
Last weekend we found out our 2nd fet from our first icsi failed. Feeling pretty deveststed. Our issues are severe male factor due to dh undescended testes from young age and varicocele and dh is big drinker but cutting back. I suffered ohss from the treatment which was over a year ago and now gutted and fretting about finding 6k plus for treatment. I also have pcos mildly. We need to save which will take a good year, I feel sick at the thougt of going through it all again not knowing how much hope there is for us. I feel so down and see no way out of this nightmare. I've spent my whole life preparing for motherhood and the reality of it not happening is unbearable. How do people cope specially when money is an issue? I really need some advice. And do we spend money on tests first? I can't help but think about donor or adoption but dh doesnt want to think about it now. Any advice very very welcome  xx


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

Hi, I don't have any advice, I just wanted to wish you luck whatever you choose to do. I'm sorry to hear about your FET. Finding money isn't easy, I know.


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## hoping :) (Feb 3, 2010)

Hi tilly,

Is egg sharing an option for you? That cuts the cost drastically, but you need to meet certain criteria & be ok with donating half of your eggs.

 xx


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## bombsh3ll (Apr 19, 2012)

Hi Tilly,

I've been where you are now and really feel for what you are going through. We didn't get any NHS treatment free although we did a self funded cycle in our NHS clinic which was a disaster. I have had OHSS twice too.

It is so miserable scrimping and scraping every penny together to pay for treatment, we managed by giving up everything non-essential, and I also did my first and last cycles abroad which you could try looking at as it is often cheaper than UK and with better results so less cycles needed overall.  Things that I would once have wanted to buy, like shoes or a bag etc.. just became SO unimportant compared to the chance to have a child.

Like someone else said, egg sharing may also be an option for you, I would just be careful if you have a tendency to overstimulate like me, as egg sharers are often stimmed more aggressively in order to generate large numbers of eggs. 

Also, if your main issue is male factor and you and your hubby are (or may in the future be) open to consider donor sperm, then perhaps you would even be able to avoid the costs and harm to your body of IVF/ICSI and get pregnant with insemination, but I realize this is a very personal choice and not for everyone. 

One small plus if you are finding yourself having to pay privately now, at least you have some say in your treatment rather than being at the mercy of the NHS and can "shop around" to find where best meets your needs.

I really hope you get your dream in the end, infertility can be so cruel.

Take care,

B xxx


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## Tilly44 (Mar 12, 2012)

Hi ladies, just a quick note to say thanks for the advice it's always good to know others really get what I'm feeling! I don't think I will do egg sharing as although I got OHSS I didn't get a great number of eggs (14) and not sure if giving half away would be worth it plus our fertilisation rate was around 50% so not ideal. I always wanted to donate my eggs but now Im not even sure if the quality is great! Im hoping to find out on our follow up appointment. 

I have been looking into going abroad although my hubby is self employed so Im guessing the loss of earnings will mean it will work out more expensive for us. We are now on a saving mission and deep down im hoping for a miracle 

Thanks again, 

Tilly xxx


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