# been trying to concieve again for 6 years with same partner



## kels1974 (Mar 14, 2012)

hi im 37 and my husband is 35 we concieved naturally in 2006 after only  3 months of trying.We started ttc again when our son was around 6 months,and have been unable to concieve again we have both had tests no problems on my side but husband has low motility abnormal shaped sperm and low sperm count.


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## lilyisabel (Jul 21, 2011)

Hi kels   sorry to hear you are suffering secondary infertility too. It's so frustrating and upsetting especially as there were no probs first time it's hard to understand. Our dd was first time so we're struggling with understanding the problems this time - I am grateful all day every day that we have her but have a real desperate need for another baby, I wish I didn't.
My dh has antisperm antibodies which means we need icsi - I'm afraid I don't know that much about other sperm probs. Do you have any chance of natural or have you been advised to get treatment? Are you being given much help? I found that as we had dd we were being fobbed off as not possibly having a problem as dd was here. Secondary infertility seems pretty misunderstood out there.
L x


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## kels1974 (Mar 14, 2012)

Hi L thanks for your reply.Its so frustrating isn't it.Nobody understands they think you have done it once so why do you have an only child.We haven't been given any help at all.They said we have about a 5% chance of concieving but 6 years later still nothing.They said iui may suit us.But to be honest,we are still hoping it will just happen eventually on it's own,although time isn't on our side now.Good luck with icsi x


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## PollyD (Oct 18, 2009)

Hi
I havent been on here for 2 years and thought I'd log in again. Just saw your post and it may as well have been mine!! Bar teh low sperm count, I have exactly the same story. my little girl is 6 and she was born shortly after our 1st wedding anniversary, with no 'trying'! 
6 yrs later there is no more! She was a difficult child in that she had reflux, and lookin back I think I prob had Post Natal as I hadnt a clue what to do with her, but didnt follow either up, just coped. In saying all that, she was (and still is) a super little girl. 


We went through 2 cycles of IUI. (Actually technically 3 but 1st one was abandoned as I responded badly to drugs so that wasn't counted.c 1st time didnt work so we left it for a year and I lost a stone and a half (I'm not overly overweight but thought it would help...) 2n'd go was quite stressful but consultant was so confident it would work - perfect conditions.. but no..


I could have another go - allowed 3 on NHS, but I decided against it. We were also referred for IVF and the consultant said "are you prepared for this to rule and possibly ruin your life for the next 2 yrs?" so obviously we decided no again! I felt I couldnt go through any more injections etc - 


So here I am 2 yrs later - put stone back on in 4 months with last IUI and can't shift it. Have given away all the baby stuff - good mama and papa's walkie/ high chair etc (thought I'd buy good stuff for my first so it would do me for them all...) Have accepted that it mite not happen so decided to look into adoption. 
1st meeting was this week and didn't go well.. basically I'm too young! and as I haven't 'explored all my options' - ie IVF I need to come back in 5 years. (Yes when my little girl is 11 and wont want to be going on zoo trips anymore. The social worker also said that we basically had to start using contraception so I wouldnt get pregnant! Basically I have to choose either or??


Anyway - that's my life story!! Not much help to you but it's probably good to know there are others in the saame boat - especially if you're like me and friends seem to be having babies without any bother!!!


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## kels1974 (Mar 14, 2012)

hi Polly thanks for your reply it is hard isn't it especially when people don't know you for example see you with a child of that age and think you are selfish for not giving them a sibling.sometimes it really gets to me.Your story is a lot like mine.Even down to the postnatal depression.i suffered with it a long time and it took me a long time to bond with my son.I wanted a child and enjoyed my pregnancy but found the induced labour etc a shock to my system.Its hard to understand how it happened the first time so easily and all this time later with no contraception we havent managed to concieve.
xxx


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