# What a difference a year makes.........NOT:'(



## Magicbaby (Jan 11, 2011)

As the title suggests everything remains the same
Still no sign of any hope of becoming a mummy an my hubby a daddy
This time last yr we were going thru or first tx we were excited cudnt wait for it all to start an we had so much hope it was gonna work
End of aug bang an everything felll apart bfn I was devastated more so then I ever thought I wud be
Moved on an now one year later things r still the same 
Af playing up giving me false hope
Cant sleep these nights as all goin round in my head if only it hadda worked. .......

But I am trying to 'forget' bout it if u ever can an concentrate on losing weight, relaxing more,  spendin quality time with dh 

I tried the cbfm for few months but have stopped to try as I don't want to stress bout it all

I guess this rant is me being selfish as I shud be thankful for wot I do have a loving dh job an home but the one thing my heart desirs is someone to call me mummy as ive so much love to give a child 

I'm envious of those who do have kids an have it all I'd give everything up in a flash if I new it wud man I wud have a baby of my own

I dream that this time next yr will be different we'll have r little miracle but then the year passes an nothing has changed


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## Mammy86 (Aug 2, 2011)

Oh i hear you loud and clear hun Im finding everyday such a struggle!! Like you i have sooo much love to give my own little baby but after 3 attempts im feeling like it may never happen!! Also trying to get my stupid head around losing weight!!! Well done you on your big loss! WE MUST STAY POSITIVE!!! Best of luck hun xxx


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## Michimoo (Oct 13, 2011)

I can totally relate. A year & half ago we embarked on our first ivf attempt & being classed as unexplained & therefore nothing medically diagnosed as wrong with either of us, we of course had no doubt it would work.
When it didn't my world came crashing down.
I'm now on attempt No 5! I'd never of imagined I'd not get pg after 2....3...4 attempts! 
I just want to see 2 lines on a pee stick & know what that feels like.

Don't feel selfish, it's a completely natural feeling for any woman who's never experienced the joy of being pg when they desperately want a child.

M


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## KRichmond (Sep 10, 2011)

Hi Magicbaby

Your note made me feel quite tearful. My DH and I have been trying for 4 years, having 1 failed ICSI treatment last year. I am just about to start stimming again for my 2nd cycle. I think about having a baby every day when I walk to work. If this treatment doesn't work I will have to draw a line under this process. I am 42 and my husband is 49. We only met 4 years ago and have no children. 

We have loads of positives in our lives - not least finally meeting someone we wanted to marry after many years!

It does make you want to collapse in tears sometimes. I am not sure how old you are but it sounds like you are doing everything you can. Hope you are feeling more positive. I am thinking if this doesn't work that I may try to get some kind of therapy to make me stop having baby thoughts and focus on everything else.  Or I am going to pack my bags (and my husbands) and go around the world for a different kind of journey!!!

Lots of love and hugs to you, Michimoo and Mammy86.


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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

Hi magic,

I'm so sorry you're feeling so crap and let down by life at The moment. Where are you both at in regards to having a plan? Are you saving to try again through ivf or trying naturally, or are you trying to move on? I have always struggled with not knowing what our next steps would be , and dh and I have had to sit down a few times overthe last year and formulate plans so that I know what our goal is and what the time frame is. It really helps keep me more stable! It sounds like you are feeling rudderless and sitting down with your dh and actually deciding what has to be done between you to get you to the next 'stage' might really help. 

X
Ducky


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## seemedlike4eva (Jan 26, 2010)

Oh Magicbaby, your post struck a real chord with me. Christmas has always been my trigger, having married into a fertile family who spend every Christmas together - it was always 'Please God at least let me be pregnant by next Christmas', and each year it got harder and harder...
Well done on your fantastic weight loss! 
You'll see from my signature that we're finally on our way, but it took about 17 tries over 9 years. I lsot 2 stone for this last cycle, followed a gluten-free diet for 3 months, and had an endometrial scratch. It was our 4th try with donor embryos - a switch we made in view of my age.
It's difficult at times to keep going, but don't give up hope


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## twiglet123 (Feb 11, 2012)

I really admire those people who can go through this cycle after cycle after cycle - far more than I have so far.  It's so difficult to find the strength to try again.  I've noticed it's much harder to believe it will work each time as your treatment history gets longer and longer.

If I'd known the path my treatment would take back at the beginning I'm not sure I could have even started the process but the promise of maybe being a mum one day is like the ever dangling carrot in front of you.


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