# I think I am going mad . . ^



## pyets (Jun 13, 2007)

I am a newbie to FF and i have been scooting all over the site trying to make sense of it all.  I relate to some things but I am still a bit of a novice to others.  Me and the love of my life have been TTC for 18 months the first 6 were just relaxed and lets see what happens the nest 6 were, ok let gets scientific and check when I am ovulating  cut doen on the booze eat healthily and go for it legs in the air the lot, the next three were lets read up on this and clean up our act and check ourselves out all the tests normal, the next 3 were stressfull the next 2 months I took advice from everyone totally forgot about it focused on something else relaxed and nothing happened now its unbearable  . . I have a library of fertility books, every stick, calista, thermometre, vitamin, website, its all too much. I am 35 and every month for the last 11 months I have had pregnancy news from a close friend.  I watched BBC "make me a baby" ( I also have the book ) and sobbed throughout I then fought with my husband ( who didn't want me to watch it) only to be told today that my best friend is expecting twins.  I feel so selfish and I am being unfair to my darling hubby.  I am normally a very level headed , not just half full but full to the brim type or person who loves life and accepts whatever will be will be but ... I feel like I am going in sane can you help me I feel like I am losing my mind . .  I wish I could talk to my close friends but I feel selfish and they have children or are pregnant.

XXXXXXXXX


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## maj79 (Jun 4, 2007)

Hiya pyets

Welcome to FF. You have found a site were a lot of people will understand how you are feeling, which has lead us all here.TTC is a hard busiess for many of us and we are all likely to reach times were we think we cant go on any more. All I can say is try and keep   , and hopefully you will find some good support on here. A moderstor will prob be along soon and they will be able to give you some links which are suited best for you. Good luck . 

Emma xx


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi *pyets* and welcome to the site 

Sorry to hear of the problems you have been having make a baby but you have come to a fantastic site full of advice and support.

Its not easy when trying for a baby and others around you are falling pregnant so easily but there is support here and i hope we can help you in some way.

Would you like to tell us if you have had any investigations yet? Have you had a blood test? Your partner had a sperm test?

Good luck with everything

Kate xx​


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## sallywags (Jun 27, 2005)

Hi hun - you have come to the right place.  we probably all understand how you feel - and frankly i don't know how i would have got through the last 2 years without FF. 

You will gain so much from here - try to spend some time getting to know the site (but beware of getting addicted!), as you will get support, sympathy, and also you will probably get lots of very useful advice.

Good luck in everything you try hun,

Sallywags


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## Mrs CW (Jul 12, 2004)

Hi Pyets and welcome to the site, everyone is very friendly here and it has been a lifesaver for many of us.  

I'm sorry to hear you're having trouble conceiving.  Having had the tests have you been referred for any treatment of any kind? 
What did your consultant or GP say about your test results and your next steps?

Do let us know, then we can help you to find others in a similar situation who can give you some support.  

take care and best of luck,

Claire x


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## baby whisper (Sep 22, 2004)

hi hun i just want to say a big hello and welcome to you to ff you have found the right place to come for all the help and support you need 
good luck with everything
lea-Anne xx


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hi *Pyets* honey 

It's so very hard isn't it? It sometimes seems that our friends/family/neighbours are getting pregnant at the drop of a hat, yet we struggle and struggle year after year with no success  By finding Fertility Friends you have found a network of friendship that will carry you through the good and bad times honey, and support you all the way!

Assuming you have had the basic fertility tests with no obvious results, do you come under the "Unexplained" category? It must be so hard for you.

Here are a couple of links for you to take a look at which may help, but don't forget that you are welcome to post wherever you like on the site Pyets - you will make lots of new friends and will quickly become addicted to us!
For Unexplained Infertility: *CLICK HERE**

For Starting Out & Diagnosis CLICK HERE

For Complementary Therapies CLICK HERE

We also have a fantastic chatroom - it is often good to talk to people who really understand you  Every Friday night is NEWBIE NIGHT in the chatroom, and Dizzi Squirrel, Kate, Vicki or I will be in there from 8pm to 9pm to show new members the ropes and answer any questions. I hope you can join us. Don't worry if you can't make it - if you want some help just send Dizzi Squirrel  or myself a personal message and we can arrange a short one2one session with you.



Good luck hun
Love and 
Tracy
xxx*


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## pyets (Jun 13, 2007)

hello again and I want to thank all of you lovely ladies for replying to my plea and helping me realise that I am not loosing the plot and your support means a lot, saying that my other half doesn't seem to think I am sane as
I am still having crazy thoughts in fact some of them are so crazy that I even had to laugh at myself this morning, do you know what I did . . .  I am not a particularly religious person but I went to bed last night and said a prayer well . .  I tried to make a deal with God I asked him I was happy for him to take my business ( I have my own company) let it fail and go to the wall if he would only send me a child that way I would suffer but please send me a baby because by not letting me have one was too high a price to pay for anyone and I have never done anything so bad in my life to warrant such pain or karma then . . .  my husband asked me what I was doing I told him and he said he would order me a straight jacket or get me sectioned after that we both burst out laughing so I am hoping my sense of humour is returning about this whole childless situation that we are in.  
In answer to your questions we have had blood and sperm tests which were all normal and we are waiting for an appointment at St. Marys .  I am a bit worried about this because I have just been lying to myself that we should have done it 2 hours earlier on that day and we would have been fine rather than facing up to the fact that we may need help ( I didn't want to get obsessed with getting pregnant) and now its seems its inevitable.
I do however feel that maybe its a mountain I can climb as I have FF and all you helping me 

Thank you for coming to my rescue and for all your helpful advice

Chatterbox


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## ♥ Angels ♥ (Aug 10, 2006)

Welcome

You've come to the right place, FF has been a god send to me, there is always someone to answer your questions.

I know you are at St Mary's but there are a bunch of us with Care in Manchester and you would be more than welcome to join us over on the thread.

Not sure how to add the link    
but we are on IVF chit chat of the UK and then choose Manchester Care Girld (part 4)

hope a mod can add the link for you cos i'm a bit computer illiterate  

hope to see you soon

love Em X


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## Mrs CW (Jul 12, 2004)

here you go 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=99379.0

Claire x


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## ♥ Angels ♥ (Aug 10, 2006)

thanks Claire  

(I'm sure i'll get the hang of things eventually)


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## spacedust (Jun 4, 2007)

Hi,
A few days after your message as I haven't had a chance to look at the site for a few days.
I see you've had lots of nice messages already but just wanted to let you know that I feel like I'm going mad sometimes too.  Am 35 too and somewhat behind you, as I'm 11 months into TTC and am scarily dreading the year mark passing.  Like you, I've had different approaches.  The naive it'll happen approach, we then went to a homeopath and found out more and changed our diets, have read up and taken advice, take my temp every day, chart my cervical fluids, my moods and even my hiccups. so its no wonder that i find it hard to beleive i'm not obsessed with the whole baby thing -and of course i'm desperately trying not to be obsessed and overly worried as of course some say that this makes it harder to conceive.  Have also tried regular massages to work out my stress and reiki and still no signs of pregnancy.  
I also find it hard to talk to friends, as most say "don't worry it will happen" and don't seem to have any idea of how hard i find it all and how (like today, as on Cycle Day 1), i want to be on my own to let out the tears i feel, but cannot as am working my 5th very long day in a row and don't finish til 10 tonight.  to make it worse, i've spent the day working with a young parents group as part of my job and i'm running an intense project with them over the next 2 weeks.  sorry, this probably isn't helping!!! but i can relate to you in feeling like i'm going mad at times.  however hard i try and put this in perspective and remind myself that i'm lucky just to have found my husband, be in a job i enjoy and have good friends.  i still can't helping wondering whether i will ever be able to have my own kids.  
oh dear, hope this isn't too down for you.  i hope that with every day that passes that i can do something positive towards my goal, then i know i'm doing whatever i can.  they say that the wind of luck does blow, but to catch that wind, you need to have your sail up.  being on this site seems helpful as there's lots of advice and support.  i wish you every success. Take care and keep your sail up. xx


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hi pyets, welcome to fertility friends. 

The inability to conceive can be very frustrating - all that planning and hoping this month is the one...well, it turns you into something a bit unrecognisable sometimes. I'm the least religious person I know but I've sent up plenty of prayers over the last few years for myself and for the friends I have made on here who are still waiting for their little miracle. PLease try and keep your sense of humour, hun. Sometimes, throughout all this it's all you have left.
You will find plenty of people here who completely understand what you are going through and will support you every step of the way.

Good luck; hope you are not waiting too long for your appointment.

C~x


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Just thought I would post to see how your getting on 

Hope your Ok 

~Dizzi~


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