# Looking to Start or Going Through Adoption Part 7 2005



## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

New home girls.  I will post an updated list later when I have caught up.  Happy chatting and good luck to everyone.

Love
Karen x


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## caron (Sep 1, 2003)

OMG LB - god knows how you must both be feeling   bit of every emotion going I would imagine fingers crossed your the "chosen ones  " 2 girls is my idea of heaven , but then 2 boys would be too   
thinking about you matey
love caron xxx

hope the rest of you girls are fine fit and well 

still no news on our side , but a couple we met on our course have been in touch and they are already on there 3rd home visit so mabe we'll hear somthing soon , fingers crossed


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

LB, just seen your great news.  Have you any more details, are they considering other couples?  When will you find out more?

Keep us posted.

love
Cindy


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Just read back through the whole of the last thread so here's an updated list, hope I captured everything.

* Post matching *

*Karen *: Approved at panel on 22nd April 2004. First little girl moved in on 8/11/04, second little girl moved in on 9/12/04

*Bex *(Bex32): Approved at panel in April 2004. Little boy moved in on 8/11/04. Sister moved in on 8/4/05

*Ann*: Approved at panel on 4th November 2004. Matched to two girls, who moved in in January 2005.

*Cindy*: Approved at panel on 27th October 2004. Matched to a little boy who moved in Feb 2005.

*Everhopeful*: Approved at panel in 17th Feb 2005, little girl moved in on 23/05/05

*Mandy* (MSW): Approved at panel on 3/3/2005, little boy moved in on 10/06/05.

* Superal* Adopted 3 year old boy 8 years ago and a 9mth old baby girl 4 years ago



* Post Panel/Awaiting Match *

*Caroline W*: Approved at panel in September, now awaiting a suitable match.

*Nat* (Crazy): Approved at panel in March 2005, now awaiting suitable match.

*Ruth*: Approved at panel on 2/6/2005, now awaiting suitable match

* LB *: Approved at panel on 15/6/05 now awaiting suitable match. Possible match to two little girls.



 * Waiting for Panel Date/Panel Result *

*Morgana*: Going to panel November 2005

*Ang* (Molly 2003): Going to panel August 2005



* Home Study/Prep Course *

*Kylie* (Boomerang Girl): Allocated SW, now on home study

*Homer & Marge*: Prep course September 2004.

* Shelly * Currently doing home study

*Nicola *(NickyDuncanFinn): Prep course Feb 2005

*Nicky*: Currently doing assessment

*Shannis*: Prep course starts 2/9/04

*Donnalee*: Home assessment started. Panel date of 7/7/05 given

* Caron * Finished prep course, awaiting allocation of Sw to start home study

* Georgia * Prep course starts 2/2/05

*Tracey H*: Currently doing home study

* JenniferF* Prep course complete. Awaiting allocation of SW to start Home study

*Pam (saphy75) * Currently doing home study

* Paddy * *Adopting from RUSSIA * SW visit completed and course starts 3/12/04

* Barbarella * Currently doing prep course

* Val 12 * Prep course starts Feb 2005

* Jude2 * Currently on Home Study. Panel date of September 2005 given.

* Danielle * Initial visit done, waiting for prep course dates

* Magenta * initial visit 21/2/05, prep course August 2005

* HelenB * Currently doing home study

* HHH * Prep course done June 2005

* Fiona * *Adopting from RUSSIA*



* Initial Stages *

* (Gill) gillywilly * meeting LA on 10/5/05

* Laine* Info evening 5th July 2005

*Nerys (lochness)* Attending Foster Care Open evening on 27/01/05

* Nic (Hopingforbaby) * Currently considering the adoption option

* Flymypretties * Initial visit March 2005

* Natasha * Intro evening 11th Jan 2005

* michelledawn* Open evening w/c 14/3/05

* Tracey-new* Open evening w/c 14/3/05

* jainey* About to start the journey

* keli haslem * Been to an open evening


Karen x


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Thanks for doing the list Karen.  Don't know if you want to change my details as we have decided to call it a day with our LA and are going to swap to Wolverhampton instead.  Today I've sent the letters off resigning from one LA and asking to go on other's list.  The bad news is we start at the bottom.  We won't have to do the preparation course again though so that is something.  Should only put us back 2 months to get to the same stage we are at now hopefully as we have been with our LA for almost 8 months and they are sooooo slow.  They have made numerous mistakes as well and are very unprofessional  so hopefully a new LA will be better.  How did you find them?  IM if you prefer to talk confidentially.  Thanks.

Hi to everyone else.


Jenny


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Thanks for updating the list Karen, it was nice to see my name there!,even though we are old hands compared to some, it really boosted my day by seeing my name there.(Oh the simple things in life- make my day!)

It was nice to see where everyone was in their different stages of the adoption journey, emotional rollercoaster.

GOOD LUCK to everyone. 

Superal
xx


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Everyone,

Hope it is ok to join you all!  It feels good to be part of a chat thread with such inspiration.

You know I can't wait for next Tuesday but then I think I may be doing alot more waiting eh?

Laine x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Laine

Added you to the list.  Can't wait to hear about your long deserved and awaited journey

Karen x


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Laine

Great to have you with us.  Look forward to hearing about your journey.

love
Cindy


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

hiya gang

Welcome Laine, so pleased you have joined us. and don't worry too much about the waiting so far i'm finding time is flying by (almost too fast at times) 

thanks for the list Karen, it looks great

Iwas supposed to have my 0ne-2-one today but my sw has phoned in sick   never mind, i'm just hoping she gets better soon and not just for selfish reasons honest  

hope everyone is ok  

bye bye for now, pam xx


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi ladies!

Just thought Id grab this opportunity while baby is fast asleep!!
Well, we've had our first review and all went well. Hopefully will be able to apply to the courts after next review in September. Making it all official and legal! Although, to be honest all the anxiety about things has completely gone, I just think we've got our little girl home with us already - everything else doesnt seem so important.

We had our wedding anniversary last week and my birthday yesterday - so 2 lots of mummy cards which is the best thing ever! My husband made an extra effort with presents because he wanted to make up for me missing out on Mothers Day in March!! To see that crayon scribble inside the cards, is enough to melt my heart!
So me and xxxx are really bonding and she said Mummy for the first time last week - so you can imagine! Pure delight! I may well have been waiting a few years for this day, but boy! it is worth it!! She is worth it!

Got to go and get some chores done while she's snoozing... only chance I seem to get these days.... but who cares?!! (Not me!)

Hope everyone is well.... *Welcome to Laine * !

Speak soon

E x


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Everhopeful

What a wonderful experience - your daughter saying Mummy for the first time, our DD said Dada first & when she did say Mama it was wonderful, so know exactly how you feel.

Well done to your DH for making an extra specail effort for you with cards.

Glad everything is just great for you.

Best wishes

Superal


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## shelly (May 26, 2004)

Hi lady's

Hope its ok to join you all. 
Can i just say what an inspiration you all are and its been great reading up on all the new families.

Just a brief summery, TTC 8yrs,3 failed ICSI  and we made the decision to stop ,which i though was going to be a heart breaking decision but surprisingly wasn't.
July 04 contacted our LA and a SW called with us for a chat and in Nov 04 we contacted LA to say we were going ahead ,and to our delight got onto the Jan 05 prep course.
March 05 we were allocated a SW and are now half why through our Home Study, and all is going very well with plenty of home work. We just finish a book call "For the Love of Claire " which i would recommend.

Karen can you add me to the list and i will keep you up to date with our journey and hopeful one day we will see our name in the red column with all you new mums.

Shelly.


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi gang 

Ever, great to hear your news of mummyhood with your special little girl, saying mummy WOW  you must be on cloud nine.

Our update, we have had our little man home for 3 weeks tomorrow and all is going well  he is such a little treasure. He had the chicken pox after 1 week but he is all clear now, just one or two scabs left .

This week has been my 1st week on my own as DH has been on a training course. I did have a bit of a wobble yesterday, he was a bit off and so was I, and we spent most of the day on our own!! which was not good, as i felt a bit down. So glad when DH got home, had a little cry  and a hug and felt much better.  

Today has been back to normal, he has been happy and smiling,  the HV came this morning and we went out for lunch with my sis this afternoon.

Off to mum and toddler in the morning and the SW review in the afternoon.

Sorry I am not upto date with everyone news but good luck to you all where ever you are upto. Welcome Laine 

Chat soon

Mandyxxxx


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Everyone,

Karen - Thanks for adding me to the list.  I can't wait to see my name moving up to the top!

Cindy - Can't wait to share my journey with you all.  I remember when you started yours!

Pam - Hope you get your one to one soon.

Ever - I loved reading your post especially about your little girl calling you mummy.  So sweet and what a touching moment.

Superal - Be good to get to know you.

Shelly - Hi there and good luck.  Will look out for that book.

Mandy - So pleased to read your news too.  Shame about the chickenpox.  

Thanks to everyone for your welcome messages. 

I have been busy searching the internet for info on adoption and must say I have found a considerable amount.  The best bit is reading all the nice stories of happy families, although in reality I know it doesn't always work out that way.

Laine x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Got some exciting news. 

At very short notice, Ann, Cindy and I managed to meet up today for our first Adoptive Mummies gathering.  All very impromptu (Cindy and I live near each other and Ann's parents are in the same area and she was here visiting) but wonderful to see how lucky we all are to have such gorgeous children.  My little girls are already asking when they can see them again.  So Ann and Cindy great to see you both and to meet your very special children.

Pam -  hope your SW gets better soon and you'll be finished with your home study.

Ever - lovely to read your post.  My little one has said Mama for a couple of months but on Monday it suddenly became Mummy.

Mandy - hugs to you.  Hope you and your little man are feeling better.

Shelly - welcome , I'll add you to the list.

Laine - so happy for you that you are here with us and can't wait to see you move through the list.  A good book is the Adoption Experience by Ann Morris.


Bye for now
love
Karen x


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi Girls,

I should be in bed and I know I'm not going to be popular with my DH but there you go.  I'm a bit late getting on because I joined WeighWatchers tonight (have to lose some weight to keep up with my son  ) and then ended up spending ages deliberating over my shopping list for tomorrow.

Ever, great to hear about your birthday, you must have been so proud.

Shelley, welcome to the gang, look forward to hearing about your journey.

Mandy glad to hear your little one got over the chicken pox fairly quickly, they do say it's easier when they are younger.  It is a bit hard when they are under the weather and I can understand you getting wobbly.

Laine, like Karen I also read the Adoption Experience and found it an interesting book to read. 

Karen, I've sent you an IM but it was great to meet up with you other adoptive Mums and share more stories.  Hopefully next time I'll check my IMs a bit sooner and get more than 12 hours notice.

Hope everyone is well, really ought to got to bed now but I'm also watching a programme about a baby with no face, very sad.

love
Cindy


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## Barbarella (Jun 11, 2005)

Everhopeful... your post brought a lump to my throat... I can't even imagine being in that situation.... many congratulations!!!

Thanks for adding me to the list Karen....  was looking for my real name, so it took a while for me to spot it... LOL.

Thanks... 

Cx


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Everyone,

Karen - Oh I bet you all had a great time meeting up.  Thanks for the book recommendation, I am going to order from Amazon.

Cindy - Good luck with the weight loss.

Hi to everyone else.

Laine x


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

Hi Girls

Laine - hello there - absolutely great to have you on this thread XX - so excited for you!

Well we are the "chosen ones" and are going ahead with the two girls - we have met their sw and will be meeting their foster carers next week.

matching panel is at the end of August so fingers crossed

good luck everyone
Caron - can't wait to follow your journey!
LB
X


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

LB  that is such great news  .

WOW 2 little girls that is fantastic. I can't wait to hear more about them. How old etc. I am soooooooooooooooo happy for you.

Karen, Cindy and Ann that must have been so great to get together. How is Ann getting on? Would love an update 

TTFN Mandyxxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

LB

That's fantastic news.  Hope matching panel goes well in August and that you won't be long before you meet your new family.

Love Karen x


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

CONGRATULATIONS LB  - really pleased for you.  You must be so excited - 2 daughters, how fantastic.  (The time will fly by & August will soon be here)

Please keep us informed of this part of your journey.

Love
Superal
xx


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

LB

Congratulations, that is great news! Wow - two beautful little girls!

Can't wait to read your next installment!

Love Ever x


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

LB

Many, many congratulations to you. You must be over the moon  

Looking forward to reading any details you are able to share.

Lots of love

Lou xxxx


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## Lisa (Jul 12, 2004)

Sorry for butting ladies I just wanted to wish 2 rainbows teh best of luck xxx

Lb xxx oh babe i am so happy for you cant wait till august now!! will be watching you closely!! well done xxxx

Laine xxx I am so pleased to see you embarking on new journey xxx I will be with you all the way 

well done to you both xxx


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Girls,

LB - Wow!  So thrilled for you.  Two little girls, how wonderful.

Lisa - Thanks for popping in x

Hi to everyone else.

It's our anniversary today (12 years) and we have had a lovely day.  Been out for a walk together, bird watching on a nature reserve and got wet in the rain.  We also talked lots about adopting and both can't wait to go to the meeting on Tuesday.

Laine x


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

Thanks everyone - you are all so kind

Laine - happy anniversary for today so pleased you had a lovely day and a good old chat - wishing you all the luck in the world for Tuesday XX



LB
X


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## GAIL M (Apr 26, 2003)

LB,

Absolutely delighted for you  

Laine - thinking of you - good luck 

Luv
Gail x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Laine

Happy Anniversary to you.  Mine too today but 6 years for us!  Dh not been well for it but I can't complain the verse in his card still has me choked up.

Good luck for Tuesday 
Love
Karen x


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## Ann (Mar 21, 2002)

Hi Everyone,

After meeting up with Karen and Cindy on Thursday I thought I should really try and post more on here! It was great to meet them and their little ones - maybe sometime soon we will be able to have a big adoption meet up  
I will try and catch up with everyone over the next few days but as my 2 are at the moment re -arranging the cupboards in the kitchen   I won't be on here long this time.
Our news update is that our papers have gone in and we are now just waiting for a court date - we would love it to be before we go to Canada in August but we are not holding out for it! The girls are as lovely as ever although it was pretty hard being away with them on my own this weekend - I think they missed their daddy so they gave me a hard time - the next trip on my own will be a long way off now - maybe once they hit 26 !!!!
hope you are all ok

lotsa love Ann xx


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Everyone,

Karen - Happy Belated Anniversary to you too x

Ann - Hello, I don't think we've 'spoken' before.

Hi to everyone else.

Laine x


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## LizzyB (Mar 25, 2003)

Laine ~ Happy Anniversary for yesterday, sounds like a perfect day 

Loads of luck for the open evening tomorrow......will be thinking of you,

Karen ~ Happy Anniversary to you too 

LB ~ Many congratulations....hope the time goes quickly for you 

Love and luck to all, Lizzy xxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Laine

Hope everything goes ok for you today.  let us know how you get on.

love
Karen x


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Karen and Laine - just wanted to say happy belated anniversary to you both and I hope you had lovely days.

Laine - good luck for tonight - hope all goes well for you.

As for me - we have our initial home visit a week today which will be 2 weeks after swapping LAs.  All moving fairly quickly so far  

All the best to everyone

Jenny


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Just wanted to wish Laine lots of luck for tonight, will be very interested to hear all about it  

Lots of love

Lou xxxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Jenny

That's great news.  Hope you find things move alot quicker for you now.

Love
Karen x


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## morgana (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi guys,

LB -just saw your news.......yeah, so excited for you. Hope you can tell us a little more soon.

Laine- Hi there, hope all goes well tonight and belated anniversary wishes (and Karen too)

Ann- Nice to have you posting again, great to hear all is going well

Lovely to hear everyones news, nothing much happening here except our panel date might be brought forward to Sept due to SW caseloads, will hear this week probably.

Take care all 

Morgana x


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Everyone,

Jenny - Good news!

Morgana - Hopefully your date will come forward, how exciting for you both.

Thanks to everyone for your good luck wishes!

Well, yesterday evening I was so nervous about going to the Open Evening, however, as those of you who have been know, I had no reason to be!

We had a presentation and q & a session both of which were very informative. All our questions were answered.  We are both really looking forward to our new journey!   I have sent back the initial form today and can't wait to hear from the SW about the initial visit.  How long has everyone had to wait for this?

Laine x


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## Val 12 (Oct 26, 2004)

Hi everyone,

haven't posted for a while but getting excited now as we have our 1st home visit tomorrow. We've been on our prep course earlier this year so at last things are moving. I'm a bit nervous but our SW is lovely. Better go and clean the bog  (again), the house has never been so clean, shame it won't last long,

i'll let u know how things go,

Val x


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Val,

I bet you are nervous!  Wishing you luck tomorrow and please do keep us posted.

Laine x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Laine - Great news that you've got your open evening done (we didn't have to do one with our LA), hope you don't have to wait too long to meet your SW.  Like I say we didn't do an open evening but we waited just 4 weeks for an initial visit to start the ball rolling.

Val - good luck glad to hear things are moving along for you.  

Right best go and check water level in the bath as this is how I get some of my daily fix, whilst Rich is downstairs with the girls and I get 10 mins relative peace!

Karen x


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi Val

Just to say I read your message with a smile on my face.  The bit about cleaning the bog again brought back some memories.  I cleaned our house from top to bottom for at least a week before our SW came & poor husband couldn't do anything right. 

I hope everything goes well for you.

Superal

xx


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## Val 12 (Oct 26, 2004)

Hi girls,

well SW has been and as I thought, she was great. Didn't feel any pressure at all and she was so easy to talk to. She was here for hours but it didn't seem like that at all. She's coming back to see me on my own next week and she's hoping to get us to panel by September !!!!!!    

We'll have to get our fingers out and get on with the dreaded form F. We stared writing a few bits and pieces last week but now we'd better get a move on. I'll keep u posted as to how things are going.

Great to see things are moving on for everyone else too,

Val x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Wow Val

That's quick working for any LA.  No wonder you used the laughing emoticon!!!  Hope you wizz your way through the forms and are at panel really soon.

Good luck
Karen x


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi Girls

Not been on for a bit, having problems getting on to the site, but typically it's like visiting the doctors.  Sent an e-mail to Tony yesterday asking for help, not got a reply yet bu the problem seems to have disappeared!!  

LB, great news about the girls, any details yet, ages etc.  Can't wait to hear you've been matched up in August.  

Laine and Karen, belated anniversary greetings.  Laine, we didn't have an Open Evening so can't help with your question I'm afraid.  Hope it's not too long a wait for you.

Ann, great to see you on here again.  I can't believe what you were saying, your two girls were as quiet as church mice when I met them!     

Jenny great news, glad to see that the move has paid off, hopefully things will continue to move quickly now after your long wait. 

Val, I have to echo Karen, wow that's fast going congratulations.  Can't go with you on the bog thing though as I decided earlier on that it would be too much of a pain to clean everytime the SW visited.  I decided it would be better to show my true nature:  LAZY   

Morgana, September won't be long for you either, hope you get the good news this week.

It was quite funny last week at our impromptu adoption meet, 3 adults, 4 high chairs and a booster sear.  Just think what we will need if we all decide to get together!!!!

Not much change here, XXXXX has been a bit under the weather so sleep has been minimal.  Seems that there may have been some mess up with our Court date but our SW is trying her best to get sorted out so that it can still take place on the 21st.  That means I've got 2 weeks to send him back, only joking   .  We're really pleased to hang on to our little stunt man (new trick moving kitchen chairs and climbing on them to try and get on the kitchen worktop) but I am wondering what he will be like when he is 3!!.  He's only 18 months but he's already worked out the art of Bribery and Corruption.  I thought it was something us parents were to use with the children.  However today I tried to go to the kitchen to start dinner but he wanted me to read his book, when I tried to move him off my lap he went to give me a kiss to keep me there!!  Three times he tried this technique (I have to point out that my son is not normally a cuddly/kissy child) and I have to admit it worked.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

love
Cindy


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Everyone,

Val - That is really quick.  Hope it runs smoothly for you.

Cindy - I loved reading about your little boy in your post - sweet!

Karen - Reserved the Adoption Experience from the library and can't wait to read it.

Hello to everyone else.

Not much happening here, expect I will have a wait to hear from the sw due to holidays etc.

Laine x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hiya everyone

Hope everyone is well. Not much to report really. Our little angel is being a bit grizzly and grumpy lately - she's putting her hand in her mouth alot and shouting even more - putting it down to teething. I've tried "Calgel" which seems to work temporarily once rubbed on her teeth and gums. Have looked for some sort of teething ring but can't find one anywhere! Not sure if she'd use one for the purpose intended anyway. Anyone got any advice - she's just turned 22 months? Wondering if it could be back teeth - she seems to have pretty mouth full already. Any ideas please? Thanks in advance!

Our sw visited today for first time since our initial "form e/foster parents meeting" - she's been on sick. So today was her first meeting of XXXX. It was lovely to see her again after so long, and I felt so proud of our little girl. She was on her best behaviour while she was here!!

Hoping to have a nice weekend visiting different groups of friends tomorrow and Sunday, so if weather stays nice, should be a good one.

Any news from the Mandy camp recently? Hello, are you out there? Hope you and your little man are getting on well!!

Enjoy your weekend everyone x

PS My thoughts and prayers are with anyone who's been affected by the London attacks.


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Cindy - I had problems getting on the site as well but it seems ok now.  Aaah your son sounds lovely.

Everhopeful - an old tried and tested teething thing is to put a dessert spoon in the freezer and when it is chilled (not frozen) let the child suck on it.  Another thing my friend does is coat a dummy with teething solution. 

Laine - we waited 11 weeks for initial home visit from the first LA and 2 weeks for initial home visit from second LA so hopefully it won't take long for you.

All the best

Jenny


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Jenny - Why did it take 11 weeks?  Did they give you any reason?

Hello everyone else x


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Hi Laine, they just said that they were busy with other cases.  I got so fed up with waiting and being fobbed off when I rang, that I insisted on speaking to the head manager in the end.  He sent a social worker out within 2 weeks of that phone call as he agreed that I had waited too long and said they would expect the wait to be 8 weeks usually.  But that was my old LA and they were very very slow we felt which is why we swapped recently as we had had enough.  

All the best

Jenny


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Ever

Can empathise with the teething.  If it is really bad try calprofen or Boots do a homeopathic remedy which has camomile in it.  Try giving her things like hard carrot sticks or cool ice cream with her meals.

Good luck
Karen x


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

hiya

just an update from me  

i had my one-2-one on monday (should of been on the 30/6 but got cancelled) and dh was to have his on thursday, well my sw only had to cancell again   but luckily she is soooo nice and is doing it next thurs instead. also she has arranged to see our references. things seem to be going really fast  

right i have to go as dhy wants pc

have a great weekend

pam xx


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi everyone,

Well one month down and all is well. Our little man is growing and changing everyday. He can now sit on his own without falling over. He is still trying to crawl but certainly gets around by rolling . he is much better from the chicken pox but his teeth are really having a spurt again at the moment. He has 4 bottom and 2 top with the other top 2 on there way.

EVER... the best thing for teething is a powder called Teether by Nelson which you can by at Boots or Holland and Barret. It is a homoepatic remidy of 6c of Camomile. DS is sooooooooooooooo much happier after he has his. I do attend a homeopatic DR who also recomended the 30c for when they are really bad. I could not have lived with out them over the past month. Along with good old calpol.

We attended his 1st Birthday party on Sat, my friends DD was 7 and we went to a working farm, DS loved all the animal. Also went in his pappdling pool yeaterday for the first time.

We have also filled our adoption papers, yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Booked his Christening which is not untill may next year, but planning it already   and also now planning his 1st Birthday party which is only about 8 weeks away. Soooooooooo busy.

Thats all from me.

TTFN Mandyxx


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Mandy

Where has the time gone - a month already with your DS.

Teething problems - your going to hate me for this but my DD only moaned on the very rare occasion - we had to put calgel on her dummy & once she'd finished sucking the calgel off & felt a lot better she spat her dummy out!  There was no way I was going to put my fingers in her mouth- she had quite a lot of her teeth by the time we got her - hence why I didn't have that many problems.

It was nice to hear of someone how they are getting on, it's been rather quite, most probably everyone enjoying the sunshine.

My children are fine.  DS can't wait to finish school, he's in senior school now & my DD can't wait to start school in Sept. 

That when I will feel it - September - thats when my baby goes to school, of course she isn't a baby but she is my youngest & will always be the baby if you know what I mean!


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Everyone,

Jenny - Hope you don't wait too long this time.

Pam - Glad things seem to be moving fast for you.

Mandy - Loved reading about your little one.

Superal - I bet you can't believe your little one is going to school in Sept.

Hi to everyone else.

Not much to report from me.  Still had no news from LA and have decided that this time next week, I will call!

Laine x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi Mandy

Lovely to read your post. So pleased your baby son is settling in well. A month already?!! Our baby girl came home 7 weeks ago today - but in some respects it feels like she's always been here.
We would've like to have had a christening, but xxxx has been christened already by birth family so we can't. Have thought about maybe having a naming ceremony when the adoption order has been granted. But we'll wait and see.
We are however, busily organising her 2nd birthday party - approx. 6 weeks away. Very excited!!!! She'll be having one set of celebrations on her birthday (midweek) and then again at the weekend when we have her party, and dh has suggested she should have an official birthday - like the Queen! 23rd May - the date she came home to live!! 

Bye for now
x


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

This  message board has been quite for some time & all off a sudden, everyone is updating us on their news & it is so good to hear that everyone is doing really well & that the new members of their family are settling in well.

Ever - pity baby xxx has already been christened as I know it is something you would have liked to do, can you have her blessed?

A party to organise for her second birthday, that's going to be so exciting.  I remember baking our DD first birthday cake, she ate most of her slice as well, I say most of it as it ended up all over her face & in her hair.  Here I am today organising her 5th birthday party! time flys by - enjoy your time with your daughter.


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Girls

Sounds like everyone is doing well.

Mandy - where has time gone 1 month already.  We have now had our girls for 8 and 7 months already.

Ever - good luck with organising the party.  Dh and I are not religious in anyway and have always said we wouldn't do christenings even for a birth child, but we want to do something to celebrate when the girls officially become ours.  We are considering a naming ceremony in our garden in the presence of some close friends and family just to confirm they are officially taking our surname. When it was our girls birthdays they had tea parties at the youngests house as it coincided with planned introductions.  A tip if you want to save the icing plaque off their cakes wrap it in foil and leave it in the fridge for about a week to harden and it will last.  Both of ours have their first plaques from their birthday's with us in their treasure boxes.

Superal - I have many friends whose children start school in September, I am sure your "baby" will do you proud and like many other mums you'll be there with a lump in your throat. 

Cindy - Hope the Sw gets things sorted so that the court hearing can go ahead.  We are still waiting to hear but SS have until Monday to file their papers so hopefully we should hear something next week, just hope it doesn't clash with our holidays.

Laine - hope you hear something soon

Pam - good luck with the visits hope you'll be completed soon and be posting about panel.

Jenny - hope you get through things quicker now you've changed.

Ann - how did your return to work go?

Well not much going on here.  I officially went back to work yesterday but I've been popping in for ages now whilst the girls have been at nursery so i could catch up so it passed off as quite a normal day.  We are going to see the girls Foster Mum's for a visit today.  We agreed what contact we would have with them and one asked that I visit occasionally but I felt that the eldest might wonder what happened to her FM if she wasn't there so I approached her and she's coming too.  We are still waiting to hear form court about a date for the hearing but we hope to hear soon as the deadline for the La's papers is Monday.

Best go and catch up on other areas of the board as I have not been able to get on over the weekend.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## Ann (Mar 21, 2002)

Hi,

Life is certainly busy in this household!! our youngest is into everything - kitchen cupboards, ironing pile, shopping bags you name it she has been there!  I went back to work 2 days a week last week and it has been fine - it probably helps that the girls come with me as I am a nanny and our eldest just loves the kids that I look after.  We are still waiting for a court date but nothing as yet.  I am also in the middle of organising a joint birthday party for our 2 they are only 3 weeks apart so it makes more sense to do one big one for them both - not sure who will have more fun me or them   we are hiring a bouncy castle and soft play and hoping for sunshine so we can have it in the garden otherwise it will be off to the church hall for an indoor one!
Ever - we are going to have the girls dedicated once they have taken on our name and no doubt that will be an excuse too to have another party!
I too can't believe where the time has gone our girls have been with us for 6 months but it feels like forever - we were just talking last night about how much our lives have changed and how we would not change a thing, the girls are our world now and we feel truly blessed .
Hope everyone is ok and enjoying the sunshine - I can't get enough of it  

lots of love to you all

Ann xxx


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## Lauren (Jul 2, 2004)

Hi everyone,

Hope you don't mind me jumping in here but my dh and I are just starting our adoption journey and we have an initial meeting with our local authority on 4th August.  I am assuming this is instead of an open evening which I have seen some of you mention above.  When we spoke on the phone we were told that after the meeting we would be referred onto a preparation course and then have a home visit.

I have a couple of questions:-

What sort of things should I expect to be asked at this initial meeting?  Is there anything I should be prepared to say, etc to help me?

Also, we have decided on intercountry adoption and I know we are going to be questioned alot on why we we have chosen intercountry over domestic adoption.  Our main reasons our because we have been told there is very little chance we will get a baby through domestic adoption and also because we felt we wanted to adopt a baby with very minimal, if any, contact from the birth family.  I kind of feel that these reasons are a bit selfish and I just wondered if anyone could give me any advice on whether it is acceptable to say this things?

Would be really, really grateful for any words of advice.  I know this is only the start of a very long road but I want to be as prepared as possible.

Good luck to all of you going down this road and congratulations to all of you who have reached the end.

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Everyone,

Ever - Have fun organising your dd's 2nd birthday party.  How exciting!

Karen - Hope the visit to the FC went well today.  Back to work already, that is quick.

Ann - Lovely to read your news.  Just love the bit "I can't get enough of it".

Lauren - Hi there.  We are not far into our adoption journey either.  I think your assumption is correct about the meeting on the 4th August (Good luck), I am sure someone will correct me if not.  I don't think your reasons for going intercountry are selfish at all.  There are so many children that need loving homes.  I can't help with the initial meeting as I have not had mine yet.

Hello to everyone else.

Well the good new is we have our initial meeting with the SW and an 'assistant' on 1st August - Yey - At the moment we are both so excited but I know that my nerves will kick in nearer the date.  The SW sounded lovely on the phone and answered some of my questions that I couldn't wait to ask at the meeting.

Laine x


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## helenb (Oct 30, 2004)

Hi Everyone

Really pleased to hear so much good news on the site!  Haven't been on for a while so has taken a while to catch up.  Where has the time gone??

We've just finished our homestudy as our sw has 3 adopted kids of her own and wanted to get all of our interviews out the way before the summer holidays as she doesn't work then.  We're all booked to go to panel in October. (Still v quick, only started our journey in April!!)  Starting to get really excited now!  Shame we've got so much renovation to do on our house!!!

How soon before you went to panel did everyone start looking in Be My Parent etc?

Ever - I'm a Baptist so wouldn't have had birth children christened.  Our church holds Thanksgiving Services for children.  You could always find somewhere that would do something similar.  I'm really looking forward to the day when we can do that!!

Take care everyone

Helen
x


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## LizzyB (Mar 25, 2003)

Good news Laine....really pleased you've got a date and not long either!!

Can imagine how nervous you'll be but she'll soon see how lovely you are 

Hope the time flies by, Lizzy xxx


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi, started reading up earlier and then a huge thunderstorm blew the power out so am only just getting back on line.  Worst thing is that it hasn't freshened the air much and it's still really hot and sticky  .

Helen, congratulations on the fast work for panel, it won't be long until October.  In answer to your question I started to look at Be My Parent months before I went to panel just to get an idea of the type of children.  We actually enquired about 2 siblings in the magazine but they weren't free at the time and then our son's form arrived before their freeing order was due.

Laine, great news on the date, just a couple of weeks and then your journey will really start.  Turn back!! turn back!! have foreign holidays and clean floors!!!    (Only kidding, the journey might be difficult sometimes but it's worth it when you get there).

Lauren, welcome to the group.  We had an initial meeting and the SW we saw just asked us about ourselves, our background and what type of family we felt we wanted.  It may differ from LA to LA but I think they are the type of basics that will be covered.  Don't beat yourself up by calling yourselves selfish, you are just being realistic in what you want from a family, stick to your guns.

Ann, glad to hear that the return to work went well.  I can just picture your XXXX into everything.  Hope you get the weather for the bouncy castle.

Karen, hope you hear about the court date soon, glad to hear that the return to work has got off to a good start.

Superal, my Mum still occasionally refers to me as one of her babies and I'm 42!!     I don't think that feeling ever goes away.  I can't believe how much my little one has grown in just the 5 months he's been with us and I know the years will fly by.

Mandy, sounds like you're having a great time, so pleased to hear he's over the chicken pox and that everything is going so well.  We're not doing the christening thing as we are not that religious, none of my family were christened.  We are having a small kiddies party at Splash Landings to celebrate and then we will be doing something with my family later.  We've been racking our brains trying to think of something to buy as a keepsake for him but am struggling with ideas.  Girls are so much easier as you can buy them the inevitable piece of jewellery but I don't have as much experience with boys.  Any suggestions will be most welcome.

Ever, can't really help with the teething thing.  XXXXX has been teething but as he has most of his teeth through already the rest don't seem to bother him so much.  Smiled to think of you showing off your little girl to the SW, that pride feeling's great isn't it?  The grizzly/grumpy thing might also be down to the weather as well as teething.  I know my little one's been finding it hard to sleep when it's been so hot, we've decided we're going to get a fan for his room as I've had 2 nights where he's woken around 1/2 and then taken at least 2 hours to settle down.  He's still like a jumping bean the next day but I'm like a zombie!!

Pam, glad to hear things are going well for you.

We've had no news from our SW so we're working on the theory that no news is good news and things will be going ahead at the Court on the 21st.  I bumped into her last Thursday and she was hopeful that they would get everything done despite the fact that our permanency worker was off following a car accident.  If things don't happen we'll still go ahead with our celebration plans. 

love
Cindy


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

We had our home visit yesterday and the sw was very nice.  She said we have a lot to offer an adopted child and didn't forsee any problems so that was reassuring.  She loved our house and our son and said she hopes she is the sw we get to do our home study - we felt the same as we all clicked which was nice.  We have filled out the form for our medicals and also our police checks.  Felt really pleased that things are moving on so well.

Cindy - when my son was christened people bought him various gifts, including a silver plated money box and a silver plated clock in the shape of a teddy bear - both useful and nice to look at and things that he uses on a daily basis.  We are not particularly religious either but had our son christened so that he could be married in a church and buried in a church if he wanted to.  If you're not christened you can't do either of those.  Good idea to put the fan in your son's room as we have put a fan in our ds's room in this hot weather.  He just sleeps in his dri-nights (form of nappy for the over 3s) to keep him cool.

Laine - good news you have a date now.  Things are moving on nicely.

Hi to everyone else.

Jenny


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Jenny - glad your visit with the SW went well,lets hope you get her to be your SW as it is much easier to talk to someone who you feel you have connected with. Both our SW's for both of our children were brilliant & I know I can ring our DS SW any time, she even gave us her home telephone number. 

Our DS had an eye sight test at school yesterday & he came home with a form saying he was colour blind - we already knew this as we had picked up that he had a problem with his eyesight about 3 years ago.  He had to wear glasses for a short period of time & then the problem corrected itself & he doesn't need to wear them anymore.  It was during these initial tests that we knew he was colour blind.  

Our DS also said they weighed him & measured how tall he was.  The nurse said he was quite tall for his age, although we would have said average height, she then asked him if anyone in the family was tall...............for the first time ever our DS explained he was adopted & said my Dad is tall but I'm not blood related as I am adopted............I feel really proud of him for being able to say what he did.  

DS looks so like his Dad you honestly wouldn't know he was adopted & although it has never been a secret, we only tell people who need to know.

Hope everyone is OK & the heat is not getting to you all.

TFN

Superal


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Everyone,

Helen - Bet you can't wait for October?  Like the sound of the Thanksgiving service at your church.

Lizzy - Thanks xx

Cindy - Hope things go to plan for you.

Jenny - Great to hear things are moving on well for you.  This time is it for you.

Superal - How nice your ds looks like your dh.

Hello everyone else.

I picked up the Adoption Experience from the library and will start reading it tonight.  While I was there also borrowed a BAAF publication on adoption, that I have read and found really interesting.

Laine x


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## Nats (Aug 22, 2003)

Hi everyone

It feels like ages since I last posted on here...
but just wanted to say Hi to everyone, its lovely to see so much news and good news too.

Jennifer- Great news that you felt at ease with the SW, lets hope you manage to get her for the homestudy. We were lucky too as we had the same SW do our first home visit, prep groups and then the home study and she was great..lets hope things are now on the move for you!


Laine-Great news on the date, the time is flying by thisyear so far!


Lauren - Welcome to the group, im sure that you will be fine, and stick to what you know..you will fins everyone here really lovely and so helpful too..



Nothing new here, just keeping busy in the hope we get a call one day, but am enjoying every minute of it.
We are off camping with our 3 nephews and niece to Bournemouth a week Saturday which we cant wait for..its our yearly holiday with them..

Anyway hope everyone is ok...

Natxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi everyone

Jennifer - glad you've had your first visit.  Hope you get to start soon and you get the same SW.

Laine - great news on the date.  Won't be long off now and at least you have your reading material at hand for between now and then.

Superal - I've been getting comments like about the similarities between our girls and dh and I at work this week now that I am back and have my pictures of the girls in my office.  its nice when people don't take a second look.  I'm glad he felt able to say what he did.

Cindy - Hoping next Thursday goes ahead, don't forget to let us know.

Nat - hope you hear something soon, but in the meantime enjoy camping with your niece and nephews.  Hope the weather holds out for you.

Hi to everyone else.  Not much going on here but a  for the eldest.  Rich and I got fed up with her kicking he cot so on Tuesday night we took the sides off and made it into the cot bed.  She is so chuffed and keeps wanting to go to bed to sleep in her "big bed".  She's been golden and has only fallen out once and wandered around trying to find her way back in, so wasn't as bad has we had anticipated.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

Hi everyone,

I have not been on for a while as I decided that I was wishing my life away a little bit.  So have taken a few months just to enjoy being a wife before I start the long journey to becoming a mummy. 

It has been great to hear everyone's news, views and insights.  I kinda missed you all but knew I needed time away to sort out my own feelings - hope that is ok with you all.

Anyway...we are booked in for an evening prep course running over 6 wednesday evenings from 24th August.  Although the prep course is at night and we won't need to take annual leave,  we have been told that we will need to take time off work for homestudy visits as the social workers tend not to do these meetings after 5pm.

It is all becoming a bit too real.  From other couples using our agency we have been told to expect to go to panel around June next year if all goes to plan and have a child placed mid summer/early autumn.  So this time next year there is a chance (however small) that I will be mummy. For me this is a 'huge' thing as I have been living for infertility for so long that I gave up hope of hearing those words.

We had our 'last' proper holiday as a couple.  We even went to a hotel that wasn't recommended for children! We have done lots of couple only things and have started the slow process of clearing the spare room ready for us to start seeing it as our child's room.

I still have days when I crave a little tiny baby.  I know that there is little or no hope of a child under 2 for us, but I have begun to live with the realisation that it is ok to be clucky and want a baby - it is natural - but that the child we have will come to us that little bit older but we wil stll love him or her as much.  

Magenta xx


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Helen - wow - booked to go to panel in October and you only began your adoption journey in April - lucky you 

Cindy - not long until the 21st. Hope all goes well and you enjoy your celebration plans. It will be great I am sure.

Superal - lovely to hear that your son has the confidence about being adopted that he feels able to tell the nurse. He sounds a lovely child and it is great that he looks like his dad. My son is very tall for his age as well.

Laine - it is my birthday next month and I have asked for the Adoption Experience book for then. Let me know if you like it. The BAAF is good - have you seen their web site http://www.baaf.org.uk/agency_db/noflash_textonly/frameset_noflash.htm ? Also http://www.adoptionuk.org/default.asp is another good site. Our LA pays for your membership to adoption uk once you are accepted to adopt. At our LA you are only properly accepted to adopt once you have been on the preparation course, had your police checks and passed your medical and applied to adopt officially - we have just filled in all that paperwork. We did the prep course back in March.

Nat - hope the weather holds for you and you have a good time camping with your nephews and niece. Bournemouth is a lovely place for a holiday. I was born there.

Karen - aaah so your dd has gone into a cot bed. They grow up so fast. We skipped the cot bed stage so ds went straight into a single bed from his cot. We were worried he would keep getting out during the night but he was so chuffed to be a big boy and in a big boy bed that he stayed put. Sweet memories.

Magenta - welcome back to you. Not long until the prep course begins then. We did ours back in March. It was held in the daytime but was 7 sessions held over 2 weeks so was fairly intense. Like you I look to the future and think "this time next year my family will be complete". Nice that you are having couple time beforehand and doing the things that you won't be able to do so easily when you adopt.

Hi to everyone else.

Jenny


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Everyone,

Nat - Hope you hear soon.  Have a fab holiday.

Jenny - My mum has been staying for a couple of days and has read the Adoption Experience (before me!).  Mum says it is a really good book.  So hurry up your birthday eh?  Going to ask my LA about AdoptionUK membership too - Thanks.

Karen - Aww how sweet about your eldest dd and her cot bed.  Big girl now x

Magenta - Hi there.  I like what you have posted about your spare room.  Ours is an office/craft room at the moment BUT I can picture it as my child's bedroom.  Good Luck with your journey.

Hello everyone else.

Not much going on here.  Have spent a lovely couple of girlie days with my mum.  We have also chatted non stop!  Going to start my book ...

Laine x


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

Hi Ladies

can anyhone help me

my question is if i apply to take 6 months adoption leave - statutory. - probably 90% of my wages as i am only part time
if i am not able to go back to work will i have to pay it back or will i have to go back for three months or something - does anybody know?

we are having a few issues with our process at the moment and i am feeling a bit frazzled but am trying to stay up beat

any of you ladies got tips on your life story book - need to get that sorted before we shoot off on holiday next weekend?

luv to all
LB
X


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi All

DH is watching the Tour de France so I thought I'd pop on-line.  We were worried that we would be spending the night upstairs as little one was sick about an hour ago but he seems to have gone down again.  We've had rather a hectic day today and probably a bit too much junk food and too little sleep.  We have had friends visiting for the weekend with their boy (6) and girl (3).  Of course like the mature adults we are we were very sensible and went to bed early NOT!!!.  At around 1.30am after a night of drinking wine, gin and tonics, playing cards and chatting we decided (although we wanted to continue) that maybe we really ought to go to bed.  As the kids decided to wake up at 6am it was probably wise that we did.  This morning we went to the Splash Landings hotel with some more friends and had a children's party for our DS to celebrate the upcoming adoption this week.  We then went to a park this afternoon and played all afternoon.  We had a really nice time but it may have been a bit too much for my baby especially as he seems to be coming down with another cold.  He seems to feel better now he's been sick (all down my trousers  ) and after a spoon of Calpol he went straight back down.

LB, I'm not an expert on the adoption pay as I only needed a short time off as DH also works part time and my bosses gave me full pay.  Karen is the expert but I believe that you should be entitled to the money whether you go back to work or not.  I'm sure this question has been asked before with regard to maternity pay and the same rules apply.  I'm sorry to hear you are having issues with the process, is it anything that we can help with?  As for life story book we were advised to tailor ours to the age of the children we were applying for, ie under 5's.  Our SW said we should keep it simple, photos of home, close family and friends only and with lots of close ups of ourselves doing things we enjoy.  She also said to take close ups of our faces as that would be the view smaller children would see.  Hope you have a great holiday.

Laine, nice to hear you've had a nice couple of days.  Enjoy the book, your Mum is right it is good.

Jenny, thanks for the present tips, we've decided we don't need to rush the decision in order to buy something for Thursday as he won't be that aware of the occasion because of his age.  We can take the time to buy something really good.  Glad to hear you got on so well with the SW and hope you get her for your home assessment or at least another one as nice.  Hope you enjoy the book when you get it for your birthday.  Is your DS excited now that your adoption process has finally started?

Superal your DS sounds great, I understand that it's quite common for boys to be colour blind.  It is quite nice that our children can often resemble us.  Our DS has my face shape, similar eyes to my DH and a colouring that's a mixture of both of us.  Like you, we don't hide the fact that he's adopted but then again we don't announce it to the world.

Nat, seems like we weren't the only crazy people taking our siblings children on holiday.  Hope you have a great time.

Karen, loved the story of XXXXX and her new "big bed".  XXXXX kicks his cot a lot but we don't feel he's old enough to move into a bed yet.  We've got it into our heads as something to consider when he's 2.

Magenta, welcome back.  I don't blame you for taking some time out.  We did the non-child friendly holiday before the adoption process and it was great.  If you're likely to go to panel next summer you might be able to fit in a few more "adult" weekends.  May I ask if there a particular reason why you feel you won't get an under 2, was it something that the SW said?

Gonnal log off now and get an early night.  We've got to try and look fresh for Thursday (we haven't heard anything to say it's not going ahead) but we may fail.  I've had an attack of zits and my DS tripped going up the stairs yesterday and has a carpet graze on his chin!!     Oh well we've got 3 days to improve for the photos.

Hope everyone has a good week,  although I'm not doing tx anymore I'm still meeting up tomorrow night with my local FF support group so I can show off photos and tell them that it's great being a Mum.

take care
Cindy
x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

LB

The only money you have to repay if you don't go back is anything your employer gives you as extra to the statutuory.  The 6 weeks at 90% is part of your statutory entitlement so you would not have to repay this.

Karen x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi LB

I'm no expert on this subject but before my adoption leave started, I did investigate the re-pay subject with my employers carefully. And my employers are the type to pay as little as possible, and would definitely claim back monies if they at all could. I was told categorically that even if I told my work I didn't want to return after the 6 months leave, I still wouldn't have to pay back any money. 
I did work full time, and will be returning part-time, don't think that this makes a difference. I'd definitely check out things with your wages department - they should know all your rights, to do with your company.

Good luck!

Ever x


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

I am hoping to take 6 months adoption leave but am still working out the finances. My employers are quite good so I should be able to cope with at least 3 months and nearly 6months off. I decided today that I am not _actually_ that fussed about giving up my job. I like it but it is not what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. However...I am likely to be a mummy in the next two years so will hold out til then. I'll get adoption pay based on my current (quite good) salary and then think about leaving/moving elsewhere afterwards. no point leaving at this stage unless another charity want me who will pay the same and have similar or better adoption pay/maternity pay schemes.

CindyP,

in answer to your question. We are not holding out hope for an under two for two main reasons

1. We have been told by our agency (non LA) that they have very few children under two on their books. Average age of child they place is 2 - 2 1/2. Any children under two that come up are not 'freed' for adoption so we would have to foster them and hope that their parents give up rights and then apply to adopt them. i'm not sure I could do that. my heart gets broken easily enough by adults without someone taking a child away from me.

2. We don't really want to wait too long. We are only 30 and 31 but want to have a family now - not in a few years time. We know that children aged 2 - 3 are needing homes now and can be matched with us very quickly after we are approved. Babies (under 2) are very rare, have legal issues and have lots of adoptive parents wanting them. Waiting time for 0-2 isaround two - three years and for 2-3yrs is a few months. I don't think I could wait 2 or 3 years after approval (4 years from now) and still end up with no child.

Karen - can'tbeleive your eldest is in a bed already. how old is she? i might need to rethink the whole 'geting a cot' thing if htey can move into a cot bed or junior bed so soon.

Wishing every an enjoyable journey down the M123 to adoption city!

magenta xx


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## jude2 (Oct 2, 2004)

Hi everybody,

I so rarely manage to get on this board now.  Can't access at work at all (my browser comes up with 'denied: s ex education: advanced, which is quite annoying and very inaccurate!).  Anyway, we are nearing the end of home study.  I think we have 2 or 3 more sessions to do and plenty more homework and then it should be panel in August or September.  We are trying to sell our house and buy a new one before matching/placement so slightly stressful.  I must admit, reading all the books about attachment disorder and extreme behaviour issues does give me cold feet from time to time, but I still know I'm doing the right thing.  I can't quite believe it is going to happen though.

On the subject of maternity pay,. I could not get a definite answer out of anybody but in the end I managed to speak to the legal adviser at BAAF.  Apparently the pay rules are that you get 26 weeks statutory adoption pay but this is not exactly the same as statutory maternity pay.  You do not get the first six weeks at 90%, you get the whole lot at the measly amount of £106 (or thereabouts) per week.  But of course your individual employermay well give you more than this.
It was quite a blow to me as it is a big difference in money.  So we have adjusted our holiday plans.......We were originally going to America but now we are going for a week in Greece followed by a week camping in Wales.  

I checked with my SW about any extra they may give us on placement:  oh yes they give us £250.  That ought to buy everything we will need.

I'm not really moaning as it is not all that important having to scrimp a bit (and we are still going on holiday).  But I don't think it is fair that adoption pay and maternity pay are not the same.  Apparently the rationale is that for a newborn and mother it is a health and safety issue, whereas for adopters it is a choice.  Hardly accurate, my LA would not consider taking me on if I said I wasn't taking any adoption leave.

Sorry if I have missed any important news, I only managed to read last few posts.  Good luck to everybody,.

Love
Jude
xxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Everyone

Didn't have much time earlier to post fully as I was running the kids their bath.

Laine - glad you had a nice time with your Mum, hope you enjoy the books.

LB - How are things going with your match?  In terms of life story book similar to Cindy really told not to overdo it.  We used our digital camera and used album pages from the software that came with it that were children orientated.  One had a toy train, one a dolly, one a fairy castle, one a boat, another a duck.  We took 20 photos in all.  We included ourselves, our immediate family (mum, dad, brothers and sisters), the house, their rooms, the dogs, the garden, and then about 5 sets of close friends and their children.  We the typed a narrative on each page about who was in the photo, where they live and what we do with them.

Ever - how are the plans coming along for the birthday party.

Cindy - hope all goes ahead for Thursday, let us know, will be thinking of you.  Rich is now feeling the pressure from family about our celebrations and so last night decided he just wanted to go to McD's with me and the kids!!  He'll come round but just hates trying to keep the peace with all the friends and family (can't do right for doing wrong)!  Can beat the sick down the trousers.  I had a pair of 3/4 length trousers on the other day that were slightly shiny/waterproof.  Youngest was sat on my knee while I was just getting a big bit of sleepy dirt off of her face when she slid down my lap, the side of her all in one vest rode up along with her nappy and smeared my leg with poo!!!  Eldest could not stop laughing!!!

Magenta - good luck with your process.  My little girl is 2 yrs and 8 months.  She had a cot bed so was easily adjusted for her and can be put back together easy enough if it hadn't have worked out.  Although I have found her lying on her bedroom floor asleep a couple of nights!

 Not much to report here.  Was totally exhausted after my first week back at work (3 days!) that Rich having got fed up with me snoozing on the settee sent me to bed on Friday at about 9.15p.m.  Have taken the girls swimming this weekend for the first time in months and the eldest just jumped straight in and started swimming.  She kept going and we must have done about 4 widths, I was stunned as she is normally too busy being nosey at all the other kids.

Deadline for LA paperwork was today so hoping to hear something about a court date soon.

Hi to everyone else.  Hope you are all doing well whatever stage you may be at.

Love
Karen x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi everyone

Just thought I'd report back to base - seems to have been so long!

XXXX's off moments have been less over the weekend, and probably that's down to Daddy being off work! Although, she hasn't been too bad since then either, a couple of wobblers this afternoon, but soon over. I've got that sixth sense now that mums have - you can smell the whiff of a tantrum coming on even before the child knows about it!! It's wierd.

We took her swimming for the first successful time at the weekend. After initially screaming and doing everything to get away from the pool, she gradually calmed down and in the end, she was at the deep end (or as deep as the baby pool can be), with Daddy, floating with her armbands on!! We were so chuffed!
Taking her again this weekend to increase her confidence. One big battle we seem to have grabbed by the wotsits anyway!

She's started this morning with the touchy feely approach, I couldn't eat my breakfast without her stroking my hair!! And clinging to my fingers when I'm trying to let go of her hand when we're not outside anymore, we are in the living room of our house "you can let go now!!". Following me everywhere and wanting to sit next to me all the time. It's lovely, but feels quite strange!
Whether this is a new phase she's going through, or just a funny clingy day - maybe coming down with something. Not sure.

Her birthday party is all organised and invites are out and replies are coming back in!! We're having it at a "fun-house type place" - so the kids entertainment is all laid on and the food is done for us. All we have to do is turn up and bring the cake! I can't wait to start buying for the party bags!! We'll be far more exicted on the day than she will be!!

Karen - hope you hear something about the court soon!! How exciting!
We are hoping we'll be able to apply after September, so maybe we'll be there before Christmas, with any luck.

Hope everyone ok. Bye for now

e x


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Everyone,

Cindy - Hope you enjoyed the meet up with the local girls.

Karen - Have you heard anything yet?

Ever - Your dd sounds adorable!  I can just imagine how excited you are about her birthday party.

Have started to read the Adoption Experience and it is excellent.  I just wondered if and when any of you started to subscribe to Be My Parent or Children Who Wait? Don't know if it is too early for me to do so?

Laine x


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Hi everyone, got a phone call from new LA yesterday to say that our referees are being taken up and also we are being sent for our medicals.  Things are really moving on now we have changed LAs  

Laine - I haven't subscribed to either publication yet, although I have read some copies of both as my friend adopted her ds last summer and so she passed the copies on to me when I told her we were going to adopt hopefully.  Also the sw on our preparation course handed out old copies for us to get an idea of what they are about.

Cindy - how did it go today?

Karen - hope you are less shattered now and have got back into the work routine ok.  It is 5 years since I worked out of the home so it would be a shock to me to go into a workplace again. Have you heard anything about the court date yet?

Everhopeful - what a lovely catch up you posted - thanks for that descriptive post.

All the best

Jenny


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi All

Well that's it there's no going back.  Today we legally adopted our little boy and he became fully our responsibility.  I must admit it was a bit of an anti-climax.  It took us 45 minutes to get to Tamworth and he fell asleep in the car because it was his normal nap time.  We met our 2 SW's in the car park and we all went in together.  There was a slight disappointment from some parties because we'd arrived 20 mins early but the cafe was closed.  I started to get the digital camera ready and was told by the young earnest security card that no cameras were allowed in the building.  Apparently the last person who had taken in a camera had ended up next door in the police station cells   .  I joked with our SW that maybe I wouldn't be allowed to go ahead with the adoption if I ended up with a criminal record.  We were eventually called upstairs and the Clerk of the Court told us that we could use cameras, it was only criminal cases where they weren't allowed.  We were called into the Court area and then they just sat us around the table with the 3 magistrates who said they were perfectly happy with the adoption and then that was that.  Less than 5 minutes and it was over.  They then posed for photos with us for another 5 minutes and then we were out with our newly adopted son.  I might be a bit biased but he looked absolutely gourgeous today in the new shirt and trousers I bought for him but he looked so grown up I couldn't quite believe that he's only 19 months.  Lee and I said we both found it all a bit surreal, we were expecting a bit more ceremony, maybe a question like "Are you resolved to care for this child?" or something similar but it was just them saying that they agreed to the adoption and that was it.  At least we can now say that it is all finalised and I must admit to getting a bit tearful in the car on the way back.

Karen, I can sympathise with you.  I was considering a big party but it was hard to decide who to invite and who to leave out and as most of our family live 90 miles away we decided it was easier to keep it low key.  We stopped for a quick drink with the SWs on the way back and this evening our friends have been around with their children and we've had a celebratory drink and chinese take-away.  My parents are coming up tomorrow so there will be more celebrations and obviously we had the Splash Landings party last weekend.
Hope your Court date comes through soon.

Ever, glad to hear you are having such a good time.  XXXXX prefers it when we're together too, in my more cynical moments I think that they much prefer having two slvaes to one   .  Enjoy the party planning, we have to wait until December until we can give him a birthday party.

Laine, thank you I did enjoy meeting up with the girls.  Listening to them reminded me that I'm glad to be finished with the tx, although one of the girls has been successful with her ICSI and is 5 months pregnant.  As for the magazines, I started to subscribe to Be My Parent at least 7 months before I was approved as I felt it would give me an insight to what children were available.

Jenny, so pleased to hear things are moving so quickly now, you'll be approved before you know it.

Well you won't be aware of this but this post has taken over an hour to write because I was interrupted by my son's crying.  I'm not sure what woke him up but he wasn't happy about it, oh oh he's started again got to go.

Cindy


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

False alarm, he seems to have settled down again.  He's got a bad cough at the moment which is unsettling him.  Although he's generally more of a Daddy's boy, (I'm the one with the rules and the face flannel, Daddy's the one with the games) it's me that he turns to when he wakes up at night.  When I'm sitting on his rocking stool, cuddlng him close to my (substantial  ) chest, I know exactly why I went through all the aggravation of the process and it was worth every minute.

To all our Mums and Mums to Be, may we all enjoy such moments.

love
Cindy


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Cindy

  Congratulations to you and Lee and of course to ***** on getting his new Mummy and Daddy officially.   

I've been keeping realistic about how the day will turn out as I didn't want to hype it up and then be disappointed, so I'm glad you've forewarned me of what to expect.  After much discussion, we've decided on hiring a coach on the Severn Valley railway after we formally adopt the girls.  They love trains and so at least when they look back in years to come at thier life story book they can see what we did.  We are inviting immediate family only and will have a meal/picnic on board.  Haven't heard anything yet so keeping fingers crossed we hear something soon and that it does not clash with our holiday.

Ever - ****'s party sounds fab.  Bet you can't wait.  I've already got one of our eldests b'day presents and hers is not until November.  But it was an absolute bargain could not pass it by.  Hope you and your little girl have a lovely day for her first birthday with you.

Laine - If I am really honest I would say it is too early to get BMP.  I didn't get it until we were approved as after I saw one at our prep course I knew I would want so many of them and then would feel guilty as nothing could happen until we were approved.  I can send you an old copy if you wish, just so you can see and then decide from there?  Let me know via IM.

Jenny - so pleased for you that things are now moving.  Hopefully you won't have long to wait before they start your home study.  Any news on your allocated SW?  Did you get the one who did your home visit?

Hi to everyone else.  Nothing much to report, having a really busy time at work and have a terrible teething child (she's 20 months and still onyl has 8 teeth)  her gums are so bumpy and it looks like a load of her teeth will all come through together.  Eldest has now lost interest in her bedtime story and milk as she is so exicted by her bed she'd much rather go there!

TTFN
Karen x


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi Cindy

CONGRATULATIONS  . It is all official now. Although i am sure it has felt very real all along.

Ever, we too are planning Ds's first birthday party. So far i have booked the local pub as our house is sooooooooooo small, not enough room to swing a cat . But that is as far as i have got, ooooooooooooh except going mad and buying a bouncy castle from the ELC   . We are combining it with Dh's dad's 70th, so i really must get my finger out and make up a guest list, my mum is making a cake, but there is still so much to do. EEEEEEEEEEEEEK

We took DS swimming for the first time yesterday with my mum, and he loved it, he is a real water baby . These are the days i have dreamed of, and all these first are sooooooooo nice. he is also holding his own bottle this week and keeps making such funny faces, he makes me laugh everyday.

TTFN Mandyxx


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Cindy - congratulations to you on officially becoming a mummy.   Thanks for the description of the day, now we can all know what to expect when we get to that stage.  Hope poor little xxxx gets over his cough soon.  My son used to get bad coughs as he suffered from bronchiolitis (he grew out of it aged 3) which progessed into a hacking cough that lasted for weeks.  He used to wake up crying when he had a coughing fit.  In the end my GP gave me a cough syrup that eased the coughing by relaxing the back of the throat which was a godsend.  GPs won't give it to you for very young children as coughing is the way of expelling mucus before children are able to hawk it up and spit it out.  I think you can get it when your child is aged 3 (if I remember correctly).  Something to bear in mind for the future.  

Karen - we keep meaning to go on the Severn Valley railway as my friend bought me a family ticket for my birthday last August and I haven't used it yet.  It sounds a lovely day out.  I always buy presents early when I see them, especially if they are reduced as every penny counts.    We haven't been allocated a sw yet as we are still waiting to go for our medicals and also to be police checked (but we were police checked by the other LA in Feb 2005 so sure there will be no problems there).  We are hoping we get the sw who did our home visit as she seemed nice and said she hoped she would get us as well so it is nice to be appreciated.  Oh dear your poor little girl with all those bumps and so few teeth.  I was very lucky with my ds as he only had one night when he suffered with his teeth coming through and they all came through by the time he was 2.  In fact my friend (whose son is one month older than mine) said she was having sleepless nights with teething and her son but finally his last teeth were peeping through, so I thought I had better check in my son's mouth to see if his last teeth were peeping through but they were completely through and halfway up!!  For those that don't realise (I didn't before I had my son) teeth come through at an angle so you get to see a tiny little pointed edge of a tooth first and slowly it comes through and straightens itself. 

Mandy - my son hated swimming until he was about 2 and used to cry non-stop when I took him (he started at 8 months) but now (aged 4) he loves it and is very confident in the water.

Bye for now

Jenny


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi All,

Cindy & Lee - Congrats to you both on officially becoming a mummy & daddy.  It was great to read your experience of the day.

Karen- I too thought it might be to early for BMP but wondered when everyone else started to subsscribe.  Thanks for being honest.

Mandy - You sound like you had a lovely time swimming.

Jenny - Hope you do get the sw from your initial visit. 

Nothing to report here.  Hope you all have a good weekend.

Laine x


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## Barbarella (Jun 11, 2005)

Hi Everyone

Can I just ask.. am I supposed to put updates (even long ones) on here rather than the main board.  This is a bit different from what I'm used to.. 

Anyway, KarenM... could you please update me as having been assigned a SW... thank you very much.

Cxx


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi Buddy,

Thought it was time to update my signature and ticker. 

I hope it has worked.

Mandyxx


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

It's happening very quickly here.  My friend rang last night to say she has received her referee form to complete and this morning we got a letter to say to ring our GPs to arrange our medicals.  All this in less than 4 weeks.  I am so pleased I changed LAs  

Barbarella - I put all my updates on this post as I don't read on the main board.

Mandy - what a lovely signature and ticker update.  I love these tickers 

All the best to everyone

Jenny


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

CONGRATULATIONS TO CINDY AND LEE AND XXXX ON OFFICIALLY BECOMING A FAMILY!!

Thanks for your post, it was lovely to read. I expect our day in court later in the year to be some-what of an anti-climax. Every "big" stage of the process, I've expected to be choking on tears and yet when they've come round I've been the most grounded person there! Very surreal. Guess it's because we've been so prepared for these stages all along, it's difficult to grasp the excitement and emotion of the day!
Doesn't matter at the end of the day though, does it? You've got that end result that we're all waiting for!! Well done. And now you can relax and enjoy planning your future together, forever!!

Congrats again, and hope xxxx's cough soon clears up!

Take care

e x


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Everyone,

Mandy - I love the new ticker, can't wait for mine to read like that!

Jenny - Wow that is quick, I hope ours goes that way too.

Barberella - I would put my updates here.  Glad you have your sw assigned.

Hello everyone else.

Went to lunch with my mate today and we had a good old natter.  I didn't realise until she reminded me, that it is only a week on Monday until we have our initial home visit.  

Laine x


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## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

hiya ladies,
haven't been on for a bit as my computer wouldn't let me log on for ages and Ithought something was wrong with the site!

isn't it funny how quickly the time goes once you start home assessment! we are looking at a november panel date, which means things hve been happenning pretty fast as we have 2 weeks then our SW three weeks away over the summer, so lots to do before!

am finding the paperwork pretty daunting, although nearly finished it all. medicals fine, my update is due though as I had an early medical.  sw has let slip that "a childess couple with as much to offer as you two won't wait long"... wow- I'm not counting my chickens but felt a lot more relaxed after she said that.
we are hoping for a spring family, things move pretty fast in our LA when it comes to matching and placement so it might happen!

if it takes a bit longer that just gives us more time to save up.

Can't wait to catch up on everyone's progress- so many new mummies this year it is wonderful!

will have time now the school holidays are here.

next sw visit on tuesday. our sw is lovely- makes all the difference!
kylie
x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

So much has happened on this thread I'd better get reading and update the list as we ought to start a new thread soon.

Karen x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

new home this way girls .......

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,33425.0.html

Karen x


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