# Bumped into ex best friend 3 years after falling out (she got preg, I failed ivf



## katehe (Mar 27, 2011)

Long story short- she fell pregnant as I was going thru my 2nd ivf. I was too blunt (fearing the worst that mine wouldn't work) and wrote her a card that I needed space but that I still wanted to keep in touch. She explained that she didn't want a 'distant' relationship and that we should be able to navigate things. In my defence, I truly felt and still do that it would not be fair to lean on her emotionally when she needed support, being pregnant. So after a couple of texts, the friendship died. Fast fwd to yesterday when I saw her on a course- we were both pleasant and exchanged numbers. I miss her and I am lonely. I have moved on of course now, and the baby i ssue is no longer. However, I know things will never be the same because the trust is broken. I am deeply upset whenever I think of her and I know that I do not have a totally clear conscience about it... Should I contact her? She was my rock and my social world and in 3 yrs, no-one has come close to filling that role- she and I and our husbands hung out every weekend..  Any advice?


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## RB76 (Jul 27, 2011)

I think I would contact her, in your shoes.
Time has passed now and you will both feel more reflective and less raw about what happened. I think if you were ttc maybe it would be trickier, but given the circumstances you may be able to navigate a new friendship.
You won't know unless you try. What's the harm in going for a Coffee a chat, see how things go.


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## CrazyHorse (May 8, 2014)

Absolutely contact her. Tell her you miss her, tell her you have regrets about how things worked out, tell her you were going through an extremely painful time in your life and weren't able to be the kind of friend to her then that you felt she deserved. If you pick your friendship back up, it won't be the same -- it will be a new thing, and maybe will eventually be deeper than before if the two of you are able to work through the past together.

Sending you hugs and lots of good thoughts.


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## katehe (Mar 27, 2011)

Thank you- I'm leaning towards that option. If I'm honest though, I would kind of like an apology from her... 
I wanted her to accept that I needed space - I never understood why it had to be all or nothing. --


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