# Diary of our adoption journey - adopting sibling group



## siheilwli

Well I'm an appaling diary writer. Never keep up. But starting with good intentions, because other adoption diaries have given me tremendous hope. 

This week has been huge for us. Nearly 7 years of IF, and we've been told our home study will start a week Monday! And we also have put down a deposit on a lift conversion this week too! Making more room for our little ones. 

Because we want to adopt siblings we decided to expand the house, we were told that our kids wouldn't be able to share a room, not even to begin with. I naively thought it might actually be comforting for them. So, we' be doing home study in dust and debris!!! Hope SW doesn't mind!

We haven't met our SW yet, she wasn't on our prep course, and didn't do our home visit. So cross fingers we click with her. She sounded perfectly nice on the phone, but it is a bit nerve wracking that our future is in the hands on someone we don't know. But for the control freak (me) adoption is full of having to be patient and learning that things will happen in their own time. 

I don't feel it's that long since our 1st info evening really. (with this LA we did go to a few others before that). But the ball now is well and truly rolling.


----------



## Guest

Hi Siheilwli

Thanks for starting your diary; I look forward to hearing more about your journey.

We adopted a sibling group a few years ago and it has been the most rewarding if hardest thing I have ever done.  

Interestingly all three shared when they first came, then the girls shared and finally all had separate rooms, until we moved two days ago and once again the girls are sharing.  Perhaps it was OK as we had enough rooms, but they wanted the comfort of each other to begin with.  

Bop


----------



## siheilwli

Thanks Bop. After our loft's done, I guess we'll have a choice about the sharing, and take cues from them. Did you want 3 in one go from the start?


----------



## Guest

No, three was accidental!

We started out as respite foster carers whilst we were still ttc.  We had our three for a one off weekend (we were only approved to foster two!) then we got asked again and again and as we ended our fertility journey they needed a new family ...... and as they say, the rest is history.  

Bop


----------



## siheilwli

Ha ha! What a great accident!  I started off saying I wanted 3, now saying 2...we'll see how it all turns out!


----------



## julesF

best of luck it is nearly a year since we started our homestudy it took 3 mnths, we are waiting for matching panel, but we were also building as we wanted a playroom for them the SW seemed use to so not to worry


----------



## siheilwli

Thanks Jules, that's reassuring to know. And from your ticker it's only 4 weeks til matching panel, how exciting!
X


----------



## Camly

hiya

looking forward to reading more of your journey. i find it really interesting about the sharing a bedroom, as our 2 have always shared a bedroom and this was never an issue with SS, even during our HS. i suppose each LA is diff.

good luck!   


love camly xxxxx


----------



## popsi

S... how fab ! i am going to enjoy your diary, i kind of had one on IVF wales threads.... i love reading it now ! ... good luck not that you will need it xx...... who would have thought that day we met we would have been following the same path now.. and from my point of view there is no better path... we have started for Number 2 now ! xxx


----------



## PEJ

Hi, 
Thank you for sharing your diary. 
We are also thinking about siblings and in the process of building an extension. The preparation made me question being able to ensure happy attachments with more than one child. However, I do believe siblings should be together and we do love the idea of 2 - without sounding greedy. 
HS due to start end of this month. 
Good Luck


----------



## siheilwli

Well, feeling a bit exhausted! Worked myself up about nothing again -today was fine. I was surprised how little information she wanted about us today - mostly CRB and form filling.

I've being doing my homework already! I think it's a first for me, doing my homework in record time!

Camly - after looking at our rooms, our SW mentioned - oh this is big enough if they want to share at first!!!! So obviously sharing is an option, depending on the SW. 

Popsi - do you get to fast track for the second time around?

PEJ - good luck with your H, not long to go! I think Prep group made us think 2 would be more suitable than 3!! But we may change our minds yet!

will write soon.

x


----------



## siheilwli

This will be my final post here! 

I don't log on any more, and I don't really check message etc. FF was a HUGE support for me during a very challenging number of years. It lifted me, gave me wonderful friends who were going through the same experiences, and became a very important source of support. 

Strangely I didn't turn so much to FF during my adoption journey, after deciding to end tx... perhaps because there was less insecurity about the outcome. We could see the light at the end of the tunnel by then, and we weren't questioning whether we were doing the right thing.

The reason I won't be posting anymore is simple... I'm now just a busy mum of 2. Adoption has been absolutely miraculous for us - I love my children more than words could say. They are amazing children who are clever, witty, funny and an absolute joy (stop me now... I could go on and on!) It wasn't easy for the first 6 months or so, had it's challenges, but I honestly feel that we're just another family now. 

I did want to post this entry just to end the story online. It's very easy with adoption to feel that you'll never be that ordinary family you dreamt of being. SWs tell you about the challenges that you might have to deal with, the issues, the worries etc. And some online adoption chats focus on the negatives, when actually the families like ours, without any issues, don't really bother posting what a brilliant thing it all is....  honestly, the most challenging we've had this month is my son being told off at school for saying the word "poo" twice!!!    

I wish everyone here a huge good luck on their individual journeys!

Thanks FF and Bye!
C


----------

