# 2ww Implantation 5 days after day 5 transfer??



## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

Hi, first time I've posted and not sure if this is the right place!
Currently going through my first IVF cycle. I'm 6 days past my 5 day transfer and am worried about some light AF type cramps I experienced yesterday. This morning there was a small smear of bright red blood when I went to the toilet, but no bleeding or cramps since. No other really noticeable symptoms so far.
If this was a few days ago I would have put it down to implantation, but everything I am reading suggests that this is too late to be implantation. Im worried its a sign my period is on its way. Its happened before with my cycle that I'll get a few cramps up to a week before AF, and I'm so used to disappointment I'm struggling to maintain hope.
I'm 38 with no identified fertility issues besides my age. trying for 3 years and never had a BFP. I had only 4 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, two made it to day 5 but one was an early ungraded blastocyst, and the other was still at the 9 cell stage. The doctor put both back but I could tell she didn't think the 9 cell was going to do anything.
Just wondering if I may have had slightly later implant due to the slow developing embryos I had put back. I know is a small hope but really desperate to hear for anyone else who's had a similar IVF experience. 2ww is so hard, and feels twice as hard with IVF. BFP and BFN experiences both welcome. Thank you ladies x


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

Hi Adelaide,
I wouldn't worry just yet. Don't pull yourself down. 
I'm in the same shoes. Had a stage five (donor) blastocyst transferred on monday. Bit of cramps straight after and a bit next day. Then quiet since until today, had a tiny pain again, no spotting though.
I've read so much about it in Google as well what should and when happen but it messes your head.
It's an awful two weeks but try not to over thinking things. 
When is your test day?
Fingers crossed 🤞🤞🤞


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

Thanks for the reassurance gamrguk77. It really is so hard not the worry about or read into every little thing in this waiting period. And even if I do get a positive I will just move on to worrying about a chemical pregnancy, then a miscarriage . But I'd be grateful even to make it that far too.
My clinic has asked me to test on day 11 which for me is next Wednesday. You must be testing a couple of days after that right? Wishing you all the luck in the world x


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

Hey you,

Yes, Friday is my day. Honestly, I can feel what you feel. Itching to do a test but I can't.
Is this your first IVF?
I had two transfers years ago with my own eggs. Neither of them worked. So here I am with donor eggs and with unexplained infertility. Although my age is 44 I'm fit and young in spirit lol, so don't know what's wrong with my body but didn't want to risk it as I'm doing it private this time.
If you wanna chat I'm here.
I had this support group back since after my second miscarriage. And I can tell you it's easier to talk to someone who doesn't know you nor see you, doesn't judge you and going through the same.


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

Yes my first IVF cycle. I haven't been diagnosed with any specific fertility issue, though I have many indications of endometriosis. But given that I only got 4 eggs this cycle, even with extended stimulation, I think I can see what my major difficultly is. Husband has three kids already and his sperm analysis was good, so most likely my poor eggs! Anyway, hoping for a miracle this time, but if I don't get it we can afford to try once more.
Donor eggs should give you a strong chance, though I know its still an unknown every time. Sorry to hear about your miscarriages. Tt must be heartbreaking to feel like your getting so close only to loose it all again.
I've been on this group past for a couple of months since I first started stims. Its very comforting and validating reading the comments of people who are going through the same struggle, and i find myself grinning with delight at complete strangers success stories.
Really hoping this time it's you. And me obvs


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

I remember my first IVF. I had 9 eggs collected, they said 3 made it to day5. But, in the same time they thought I might have some fluid around my ovaries, so waking up for the news that they won't transfer any fresh, was breaking my heart. They froze them. While I was waiting for a surgery with my fluid, I've got pregnant second time (miscarried few weeks later) so they cancelled my surgery. Everything was too much and I needed some time off. So we delayed the transfer. After we had the first blastocyst transferred I started bleeding, like bad in a week time. Ended up in A&E. It was a shock. Few months later I had my last two eggs transferred, one not so good one and one good one. Wasn't good enough though and the same happened. 
So if you bleed a bit, has a tiny brown or pinkinsh spotting on your underwear it's fine. I'm more worried that I didn't have it so far. If AF is here that would be a bigger appearance.
What drugs you're on? And how many?
Would you ever consider a donor egg?
My partner also has a child, so I'm a part time step mum, but it's not the same. I wanna feel pregnant, wanna see my belly grows, and not just because of the lots of estrogen and progesterone what I'm taking now.


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

What an awful expereince to have gone through! I think the lack of bleeding this time is surely a good sign? I've read plenty of success stories where people got no symptoms whatsover for weeks.
My spotting was bright red, but it was literally just a single wipe. Nothing in my knickers. I usually start to get brown then pink discharge 3-4 days before my period starts but this was not like that. Anyway I'm trying not to read into it. So much going on in our bodies right now it could be anything!
Im just taking cyclogest pessaries twice a day for the progesterone. I felt more symptoms after the trigger injection, sore boobs etc, but that faded a few days after the egg collection. What are you on?
Im a part time step mum too! I dont know how you've found it but I have really struggled having he kids around since the IVF started. They're great but they remind me of what I dont have and I feel too focused on myself to give them much attention. Yeah I totally get you, I wish my partners kids were enough but theyre not. Its not the same at all.
We talked about Doner eggs but we both prefer the idea of adoption if this doesnt work out.
How was the donor process if you dont mind me asking? Did you get much choice and how much info did you have?


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

[QUOTE="AdelaideABL, post: 7605418, member:
UOTE]
Your tiny bleeding is a good sign!!!It was your implantation smear. That's how my nurse described it to me, said" if it happens don't be scared, it's a good thing." Honestly, my toes &fingers are crossed for you.
I take a lot of medicine. Three Ultragestan vaginally-progesteron, five Elleste Solo-estrogen, and estrogen patches every second day. My lining didn't grow last month, so they raised my doses this time. All the sign of pregnancy/period is visible on me, like big and very tender breats, bloated belly, tiredness. That's why is so tricky with me, can't even separate any symptoms cos they all the same.
My partner's daughter is 13, so she doesn't really communicate with us that much when she comes over,if she decides at all. Just go in her room, only comes out to eat lol teenagers. 
Remember how much it hurt me to look at other babies when I lost my first one. I felt jealous, thought the whole world is against me, everything felt unfair. It's normal they say to go through a lot of different emotions. Gotta stay positive, smooth your belly, speak to the baby.
I'll continue later, gotta go back to work.


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

Sorry to hear you've been having more uncomfortable side effects. I luckily havent really experienced any soreness ot tiredness so far. Bloating and wind, yes!  I know thats being caused by the progesterone pessaries. Ive been super hungry of late too, but again I think thats just my reaction to the stress of it all.
I really hope that was an implantation smear like you said, but not ready to beleive anything just yet! 
I'm itching to test now. Only 4 days away, but got to stay strong!!
My step kids are 5, 9 and 15. We only have the younger two every other weekend, and the eldest visits more sporadically but stays for longer, especially in the holidays. He's full blown teenager too, restricted to his bedroom 
Ok gonna go get some rest and speak some some positive words to my belly!
Keep me updated on how things go for you x


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

Finally at home. Was a long day at work.
So, about the donor. Few years ago with my ex husband, we choose to try through a clinic, where it was an egg sharer donor. The lady also went fir IVF and we would get four eggs from her. But something went wrong with her stimulation and it's been cancelled. Then, the only information we got is height, weight, eye colour, skin color. Wasn't really a lot to choose from so.
This time I bought eggs from an egg bank. It was more professional. I logged on their website, put on my search criteria and straight could read all the suitable ladies profiles. Also contains the basic data, plus blood type, occupation, hobbies. Sometimes the donor handwrite a letter about her family background which is nice, and there's a questionnaire as well what they also fill out and I had access to it. But It was a LOT of ladies to choose from. They I narrowed it down to 3 and me and my partner picked one. Contacted the egg bank, payed, waited a week then they transported the 6 eggs to my clinic. Was very easy. Every clinic should offer you consultation with a counsellor. I had that last time so didn't do it now. But it was very useful. Helped me to understand that the baby still gonna get something from me as a mum, not genetics but I will feed it and grow it in my belly so it will be mine in a way. Doesn't bother me anymore( it used to) that I won't be a biological mum. And when the time comes I'll tell her/him the truth.
With my ex husband we thought first we try donor,and if that won't work, adoption. But we never got there.
My new partner is only agreed to go through with the IVF. I do believe it will work.


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

My clinic did provid counselling very early on, which I did take up but ended up being more about non IVF related stuff as my dad had just passed away. I think its great that they do offer counselling though, it can be really important.
I think with Donor eggs you will be the mum in all the ways that matter and like you said, you will grow the baby in your body and share your food and blood all through that time. I beleive it will work out for you too, just got to stay positive 🙏 xx


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

Hey gamrguk, wanted to reach out to you for advice again. I took a test this morning and it was positive! I'm obviously two days before my OTD, 9 days past my day 5 transfer and 16 days past my trigger injection. I had read that the HCG in the trigger injection takes 14 days to clear from you system so I hope this isn't a false positive but a little worried it still could be? Anyway will test again Wednesday to be sure, but so far feeling tentatively hopeful. Having never had a positive test before after years of trying I'm struggling to believe it 😂


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

OMG! 👏👏👏
I'm sure it won't change ☺☺☺
Will you have a blood test as well on Wednesday or a few days after? Only asking if they can tell you your HCG level.
I am so happy for you, honestly.
It's so hard to not to do test before your test day anyways.
Please don't stress about it. Just test tomorrow morning as well.


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

Thanks, yes I will test tomorrow as well as Wednesday to reassure myself. I don't have any of the digital ones so my line is faint but I guess it's early. I also didn't test first thing in the morning, which I heard gives a better result. I'd already gone to the loo twice by the time my resolve broke and I got the test out 😂
My clinic doesn't do blood tests unfortunately so will have to wait until 7 week scan to get any indication how well the pregnancy is doing. Hoping and praying with all my heart to make it that far.
I will be rooting for you on Friday too and sending lots of baby vibes your way! Hope you've been feeling OK? X


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

Testing from the first urine of the day is the best I heard, cos everything is more concentrated aka urine most yellow. Like minerals and hormones. I'm sure your line will get stronger and stronger by each testing. I would definitely found my way to get a HCG blood test, only because in my case I had early MCs, week 6 and 8. Just to give me a piece of mind.
Do you take any supplements? I do folic acid of course, iron, vitamin E, vitamin B6, magnesium daily. Nurse told me when I went for scans that vit E will help with my lining. Then I read that B6 helps to prevent MC and chromosome damage. Used to take zinc as well, not anymore. Magnesium helps to detoxify fertility muggers.
I'm ok-ish. They do say second week of waiting is more difficult. I was positive last week. Today demons are above my head trying to give me doubtful thoughts. Got a tiny pain going on, but it could be from the food last night, as I had lost of chillies 😂 it's hard not to read into the signs of your body. But I'll working tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday so that'll engage my brain.
I had a day 5 early stage blastocyst transferred last monday, so by calculator my implantation should have been around last Friday. Had no symptoms what so ever. But everyone is different they say. I take each day as it comes now until Friday. Hoping this little pain will go.
I just keep drinking lots of water and running to the loo every hour or so 🤣


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

I'm taking a pregnancy multivitamin that includes folic acid, B6 and zinc. I also take vitamin D. Will pick up iron and vitamin E this week! 
Did another test this morning and the line is clear and ever so slightly darker than yesterday, though not by much and not as dark as the control line. I guess that's normal in the early days? Anyway I feel much more reassured that I am actually pregnant, but now terrified of early loss and complications! I will speak to my clinic tomorrow about how I might get hcg blood tests done. I wouldn't mind paying for the extra reassurance. 
The second week of waiting was most definitely harder for me too, I think you're carried through the first week by the relief of getting some embryos back inside you and then later all the doubts and fears creep in. I'm guessing the tiny pain isn't a bad thing, in fact I have something a little similar that comes and goes, more like a little pulsing twinge in my middle right, and if you've made it this far without getting all the signs your period is coming you're doing well. Just keep taking care of yourself and I will be keeping everything crossed for you x


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

Yessssss for a line!🙏🙏🙏
But please, don't over think it and stress about future!
Can't wait for tomorrow for you 😊
Let me know how it went with the clinic.
Anyway, where about you from the UK?
And wanted to ask you, are you still working through the TWW? 
I had a bit of anxiety breakdown begin of August and was signed off my GP for two weeks break. Work, stress and two cancelled cycle got me.
I'm so much more chilled now. Started doing yoga and some self help treatment.
But things still going back and forward in my mind sometimes. You know, I don't even have a test at home, just gonna buy one on Friday. Wanna prevent rushing it and facing with the truth. 🤷


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

Hi Adelaide,

Just checking on you. How you getting on? Did you manage to get a blood test? You still doing a test each morning? 
Thinking of you. X


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

Hi gamrguk,

Thanks, I'm OK. I still had a positive on Wednesday so called the clinic to let them know. They don't do blood tests but they told me I should be 4 weeks pregnant and booked me in for a scan at 7 weeks, which isn't so long to wait.
My line was darker Thursday and today so feeling a bit better. I still don't have any real symptoms aside for feeling really tired!

I am thinking of you today and keeping everything crossed. Hoping this is your time xx


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

Hoping you're OK gamrguk, whatever the result yesterday xx


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

Hi, 
I'm do glad you ok. Started to worry lol silly, isn't it?
My result was negative, unfortunately 😭 Was crying all day yesterday. Today is a new day. I am feeling better. 
I need to book a follow up consultation with my DR. But I know what I want. I wanna do it again. I have 6 fertilised morula/blastocyst in the freezer. Can't wait to try it again. I want my rainbow baby too ☺

Did you work through the 2WW? I did and start to think I shouldn't. 
Where about you in the UK? I'm in Wales.


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

Oh I'm so sorry. Its such a hard process isn't it. Even though I feel grateful to have gotten this far I'm still checking for spotting every day and panicking at the slightest twinge.
With 6 fertilised eggs to use you still have such a fantastic chance. Unfortunately we didn't get any to freeze but I know if this doesn't work out I will be like you and ready to go again.

I left my job the same month I started IVF. It had become horribly stressful for other reasons, and I'd had 6 weeks of sick leave for stress, so in the end me and my husband decided it was better for me to leave even though money will be very tight for a while. I have to say I'm grateful for the opportunity to have been able to be at home throughout this, though I know plenty of women manage work and IVF together.
I'm in the UK by the way. Devon.
I hope your consultation is productive and you are able to start a new round as soon as possible. You'll get there I'm sure of ot. I hope I will too xxx


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

Hi,

You're so lucky that you could leave your job, honestly I'll try and go off sick next time in TWW. Too much stress and lifting, stretching in my job role. I did have 2.5 weeks leave as well just like you for stress and anxiety. I had a breakdown on the shopfloor when I was a manager due to work and doing IVF. It did good to me, I had anxiety management counselling and was doing a self help course as well as did reflexology and started taking yoga classes. 
Listen, just take every day as it comes now. Enjoy the time and do some self love, practise meditation or yoga. It does help me to relax and staying positive when I need to. Find a new hobby, don't Google every little sign, please. It might put an un necessary bug in your mind. Tiredness is a good sign as far as I remember from previous preggos- which didn't last. Some ladies are never get to experience all the signs through pregnancies- the lucky ones 😂. But it's early days still. Be happy until you start throwing up. 

I'm putting together a list of supplements and remedies which will hopefully help next time with implantation and keeping that baby. 
So far I've got the usuals as iron, folic acid, vit B6-C-E later on D as well, magnesium, selenium, zinc, evening primrose oil-only up til TWW, coenzyme Q10, L-arginine, alpha lipoic acid, bee propolis, Brasil nuts, pomegranate juice, raspberry leaf tea and pineapple-only at transfer day and 3 days after.
I cut out caffeine, alcohol and processed food so far, work on lowering the intake of sweetener- as I don't use sugar, try to eat more oily fish. 
Did you follow any tell tale things or just took/taking the usual vitamins? Have you got any more recommendations? 
Devon is beautiful. I almost moved to Exeter. Had an partner there, but didn't last and ended up in Wales. 
I don't mind as I have no family over here, I'm from abroad, moved to the UK 14 years ago. 
The hardest part is not having my Mum here in this difficult times...


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

Thanks for your kind words. I think I have such a negative mindset due to the years of failure that I constantly feel worried by small things and sure its a sign this will fail, so paranoid about miscarriage and ectopic etc, but really trying to keep positive and enjoy this time. 
I don't know how work is for you, but for me the decision to leave was entirely due to the effect it has had on my mental health and I would have left regardless of IVF or ttc. We had staff losses in lock down and as a consequence I was given extra duties and responsibilities far above my pay grade or expertise and expected to deal with them without support. I was having nausea and loose bowels every morning for over a year with the anxiety. I had some sessions with a counsellor from my IVF cline in this time, because my treatment had been delayed due to Covid. I mentioned that I felt awful because I was sure it was part of why I couldn't get pregnant naturally and she told me that there is absolutely no evidence that stress affects chance of conception. That women conceive in war zones and famines and that its just a reason to put more guilt and pressure on ourselves when we are ttc so best to try and forget that idea and just focus on my own wellbeing. That really stuck with me. 
Additionally when I left the clinic after my embryo transfer the doctor didn't tell me to refrain from physical activity or anything. I asked about it as I was worried and her exact words were, 'perhaps don't jump out of any planes, but other than that you can carry on as normal' . I guess I must have looked like someone who might jump out of a plane!? Anyway excersise is meant to be good to keep blood circulating it's just a case of what you feel able to do after the procedures and drugs etc. 
Having said that I know how anxiety making it is in that 2ww and how much you want to try and do everything to give yourself the best possible chance. I was grateful for not being at work and the absence of that intense stress that I've been living with for the last year or so because it's what I needed to be OK in myself, but if I had a job that I enjoyed and felt OK in on a normal basis I'm not sure I would have taken time off or not. It's a really personal thing and if you think having that time to really focus on self care would help you get through the difficult wait then I would def take some time off on your next round. On the other hand you might find the distraction a blessing from the constant worrying lol its catch 22!
Honestly I would take time off its its caused you anxiety this time. 
Regarding womb lining and implantation I don't have much advice or knowledge I looked into supplements before starting treatment but they were all focused on improving egg quality, so I've been taking Ubiquinol and a multivitamin called Impryl recommended by a friend. I've switched to a basic pregnancy vitamin for now but will be back on the others ASAP if I need to try again! For womb lining I've heard some of the things you already mentioned. Mainly foods that are supposed to boost estrogen levels. Oily fish, wholegrain etc. Sorry I can't be of more help with that one. 
Did you manage to get an appointment. For your follow up appointment yet? 
I live in a small village just 10 miles from Exeter. Where are you in Wales? Xxx


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

Hi AdelaideABL,

Sorry, but work keeps me busy. Also not much happening here. My period came,of that's a News lol. Was expecting to be a bit stronger, due to the built up lining, but it was just a medium flow. I had my consultation with DR. No surprise,I'll start FET with my next period. They don't wanna change anything with the protocol, so same medications and also just one blastocyst to transfer. They don't suggest two. 
I'll be writing more later, when I finished work. I literally sneaking this message into my break time.


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

I'm back☺
My work went through similar issues due Covid, like yours. The workload is doubled if not tripled and more and more responsibility ended up on our shoulders as managers. I cried every week after going home from work and my partner noticed a change in me. I wasn't smiling anymore, was always tired and didn't want to go anywhere. I had stomach aches and felt like having a fever every time I went to work. Anxiety... that's what the doctor said. 
So I made a decision after being off for 2.5weeks. I stepped down to a simple sales assistant. I do loose out on wage just before we wanna buy a house 🤷 but money is not everything. I feel better since. Work still not perfect but getting there. We lost 45% of our staff in the last 6 months. We're recruited a few since but still need about another five people to be 100% again. So I know what you went through, unfortunately. But I can't leave my job. Keep thinking of the mortgage application and the maternity. I work for the company for 7 years now, it will be stupid to quit now before I get pregnant. 
I also had councelling while was off sick. And she told me basically the same. That I need to focus on myself and my wellbeing. Yo start open up to people about my feeling. I tend to bottle up, showing a mask then once just got to the top where I can't take it anymore. 
My family's still live abroad and they don't know about my new IVF journey. So it's been very difficult to not being able to talk to anyone else, other than my partner and my best friend. I chose not to tell them until I can confirm a pregnancy. This is my way of protecting my parents of further disappointment. Just like as it proved now, that my first DE transfer wasn't successful. My Mum is sooooo want to be a grandparent, that I don't want to give them false hope and heartaches. 
I do believe of not his year but next year I can finally give them a good news.
I know you're right about people getting pregnant in difficult circumstances but I feel I just want to know for sure that next time I won't feel guilty of working. I think I'll have some time off while waiting in the TWW. We do need to lift heavy stuff. A box of frozen goods or a create of bananas is around 12-15kg. Also there's a lot of stretching going on while lifting a ten pack of juices above my head. My doctor said after the transfer that no strenuous job or going into the big freezer, need to keep my tummy at body temperature, so can't hold a frozen box close to my belly either while carrying it. It's difficult. I guess if I would have some less physically intense job, I would still want to work, as you said to take my mind away of waiting.
I do some exercise at home plus doing yoga as well. Always been active. So I can't just sit on my ass for two weeks either lol. 
I heard of Ubiquinol, it's like a Coenzyme Q10 supplement. I do take that as well. Can't hurt.
I live close to Cardiff, in Barry. Have you heard of Barry Island? It's very popular on summer. I only moved here just when the pandemic started in last march. My partner lives here. I lived in Bristol for 13 years beforehand. 
How you feeling? A week gone by again. Do you have any new pregnancy symptoms? When is your scan? I'm so excited for you already 🤗


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

Hi gamrguk,
Good to hear from you. Nice to hear you making plans for your next ivf round, though I totally understand not wanting to tell too many people. My mum is also desperate for a grandchild and I am her last hope. My brother and his wife went through 5 ivf rounds without success and they decided to take a break from it all, which I totally understand having experienced it for myself now! I did tell my mum about what I'm doing, as she lives very close by an dd would have been hard to keep it under wraps.
Sounds like a good idea for you to take a couple of weeks off for you tww next time. Especially if you're having to do heavy lifting. Only wondered if you spoke to your work about it whether they might be able to put you on lighter duties for a few weeks?
I have heard of Barry. Actually when we go to the coast around Minehead or Porlock we can see that part of Wales!
I've been feeling pretty worried since I got my positive test to be honest. I knew I would 
I don't have any obvious pregnancy symptoms. No breast tenderness, no sickness. I'm bloated from the progesterone pessaries but that's about all. To be honest in the last week or so I've felt less pregnant than before. Not even getting the sort of twinges and stretching feeling that happened in week 4/5. I know some times symptoms start a bit later, but I can't help but worry. I had a couple of very period like cramps over the weekend. They didn't last long but they freaked me out. I haven't had any bleeding or spotting, but since learning about missed miscarriages even that isn't giving me any reassurance. My scan is next Thursday and would be 7 weeks and 3 days. I want it to come round so badly but also terrified of bad news. This ivf/pregnancy lark really doesn't get any easier!!


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

Hey,
Just wanna catch up with you. Sorry been quiet, but had some issues with my partner that needed a lots of energy and concentration to sort out. We're good now again.
How did your scan go on Thursday?! Please tell me it's all good 🙏 I was thinking of you.
Xxx


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

Sorry to hear you've been having issues with your partner. I hope you're staying strong together and managing to work through them, but totally understand how exhausting it can be. I haven't felt able to update you till today as the scan last Thursday was inconclusive. They found a good heartbeat but couldn't get measurements due to the position of the baby (right against my uterus wall). I was booked in for a follow up scan this Thursday at the EPU with a higher grade scanner, which I've just had. Heartbeat is still strong and baby is measuring 7 weeks and 4 days. This is 6 days behind, which I was very concerned about, but the sonographer didn't seem worried at all. She said a margin of error is common this early. Also that late implantation can lead to smaller gestational measurements, which is interesting because my first post in this thread was me thinking I might have had a late implantation! Anyway, I cant stop worrying about everything - no symptoms, occasional cramps, small baby! But I have to be grateful for getting this far. Just got to get to 12 week scan now, though I'm tempted to pay for a private scan at 10 weeks to stop me from worrying!
I hope you are feeling good about starting a new round of IVF. I hope so much that this will be you in a few months xxx


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

Hi AdelaideABL,

I'm sorry, you must feel a right mess and it's very stressful for you. I would go for a private scan. As I did when I was pregnant with my second one. It did cost around £60-70 back then but worth every penny for me to know how the baby was doing. Sadly I had the news that the heartbeat has stopped and baby was measuring smaller than a week before, it was around 8 weeks.
I hope you have the right support from your family as it's important for you mentally.
And please, try to keep away from Google, as it's not your friend. You can read stories which states it can go either ways from here. Try to keep positive and enjoy every minutes of being pregnant. Maybe you one of the lucky one who won't have to suffer with any symptoms!
We're okay now, thank you. Its hard to be a step mum as you know and specially when you are "a partner" in his eyes, not a "real step mum" just yet. I have no words, or can give advice or get involved into situations which including his daughter. I had a chat with him and said it's really having an effect on our relationship and it shouldn't. So that's it. We're good now.
Just as I started my new treatment this week I've got the flu. 😢 I gotta be careful as I didn't have the jab due to my journey. It was just never a good time.
But the good news is my lining was shredding better this time with my period. I believe the supplements are helping me to start building a fresh, new lining combined with my medication. Fingers cross on the 15th of November, when is my first monitoring scan.
Let me know how you get on. Try to take your mind away from worrying and instead fill your head with positive thoughts. Lots of babydust for you 😘


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

Hi Gamrguk, I hope you're recovering from the flu. What timing! But at least things are moving forward. Great news that your new regime seems to be helping and you're seeing improvements in your lining. Fingers crossed for you and this cycle of course! 
I'm feeling a little better this week. Maybe because I don't have long now to wait for the next scan. But I also got in touch with my clinic and told them how worrying I had found my scan results and they were really supportive. They gave me a little more info and basically said that my baby's still growing at a healthy rate so they're not too worried about the 6 days small thing! I hope they're right, but can't stop worrying completely! 
Funny you mention talks with your partner about the step kids. I've had some difficult convos with my husband about the same this week. I just had to remind him how difficult it actually is being a stepmum sometimes! How you worry about your place and role all the time etc. He didn't get it at first and became quite defensive, thinking I was saying I didn't want to do it. I think his previous partner was very critical of his kids and tried to distance them, so he's ultra sensitive now. But we worked though it and he's trying to be a bit more understanding. Anyway, I totally understand the difficulties. I found some good Instagram accounts for step mums. I really like Radical Stepmom. And Blended Family Frappe. Good communities there for stepmum support. There are even some for childless stepmums and stepmums with infertility so worth checking out if you haven't found them already. 
Anyway hope you're keeping your spirits up. Its a rough ride all this ivf, infertility, stepmums business! I will update you on my situation after Friday xx


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

Hi Gamrguk, just wanted to let you know what's happened. Sadly things have come to a conclusion sooner than expected. I've had a missed miscarriage confirmed at 10 weeks (baby still only measuring 7.5 weeks and no heartbeat any more) and am now in the process miscarrying naturally I think. I've been so grateful for your support through this process, which as you know I've found incredibly worrying right from the start! I hope things work out better next time but for us both xxx


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

Oh my days, I am so sorry.
It is the saddest news I expected as the outcome can be. I completely understand what you feel right now and going through mentally.
I had the same news when had a private scan at week 8, they said baby measured 6.5 weeks and no heartbeat anymore 😢 (just when I had the scan at week 6 and everything was fine, baby died a few days after apparently).
I think the hardest is, that we already saw and heard that tiny heart started to work and now nothing, just a tiny little,sleepy bean.
I felt broken. I felt useless, unworthy, not being good enough as a woman. And then had to look at my belly for the next few months, as a reminder of I WAS pregnant, once. I cried every time I saw a little baby at work and was jealous, felt the whole world was against me. Why me?! Life is unfair I thought.
I was so angry.
They gave me a tablet, which helped me to naturally gone through the whole process at home. I still remember the cramps when it started a few nights later, I had the strongest pain ever. I gave myself a couple of weeks time off work and talked to a close friend who also had the same loss. It helped me a lot. Talking. Opening up. Get support from friends and family. Lots of tears and tissues but it felt better after.
And then slowly I started focusing on myself. My well being, my fitness, something which I was doing for Myself and noone else, that gave me time to switch off my brain from sadness. As they say time is a healer. It's true. But every year I remember those two dates when I lost my Little Angels. They never forgotten.
I am here for you. Just talk. Or start a diary, write a blog. Get it out, all the pain, your thoughts and emotions. Get councelling if you need. Help is here, just need to open up when you ready.

I hope it won't stop you from having a baby one day. It's a game of patience.
I'll be here and keep you update of my journey if you don't mind. Just keep checking back once a week. When you feel okay...
Sending you lots of hugs and prayers. X


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## gamrguk77 (Jan 25, 2017)

Hi AdelaideABL,

How are you darling? How was the process? I am thinking of you a lot...
My situation...well yeah. As it was expected at some point, I caught Covid from work. I'm on day 8 of quarantine. Went through a lot as didn't have the vaccines yet due to the treatment. Was never a good time. 
I am just out of the quarantine for the day of my transfer. So I'm gonna risk it. Wish me luck. Xxx


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## AdelaideABL (Jul 30, 2021)

gamrguk77 said:


> Hi AdelaideABL,
> 
> How are you darling? How was the process? I am thinking of you a lot...
> My situation...well yeah. As it was expected at some point, I caught Covid from work. I'm on day 8 of quarantine. Went through a lot as didn't have the vaccines yet due to the treatment. Was never a good time.
> I am just out of the quarantine for the day of my transfer. So I'm gonna risk it. Wish me luck. Xxx


Hello lovely! I'm so sorry its taken me this long to reply. I juts had to take a bit of time away from everything and recharge, but feeling a lot better now. The miscarriage itself was surprisingly quick and not so painful for me. I feel very lucky I didn't need to take anything or have an operation as I know that can be a lot more painful and stressful for sometimes. I was really sad and felt pretty defeated at first but I've picked myself back up again and trying to focus on the positives - I did fall pregnant so at least I know I can! 

I really hope your transfer went well and so sorry you caught Covid. I hope it hasn't affected you too severely? I guess you've been going through the excruciating 2 week wait. I've been thinking of you. Hoping it's your time. 

I will be starting another ivf cycle in the new year and having my next egg collection in March probably. I've been advised that with my low egg reserve and low response to the stimulation drugs we're looking at only a 10% chance and a possibility of no embryo to transfer, but we decided to give it one more shot anyway. But I've decided that will be my last egg collection. After that I'm trying to decide between egg donor and adoption. I actually wanted to ask you about the egg donation process as I find it really confusing. Seems like there are lots of places to find egg donors, not just your own clinic, but I don't understand how to start searching. How did you go about it all if you don't mind me asking? 

HOpe things are good with you in the rest of your life too, with you partner and step kids. We are getting ready for Christmas. We have the kids the week before and they go home Christmas eve so I'm actually really looking forward to a quite Christmas with just me and my husband, and lots of good food and telly lol


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