# Starting 3rd round of ivf in May



## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hi everyone, would be great to talk to someone who is going through their ivf treatment this month. I'm just on the down reg and start my injections in 2 weeks. 

My husband and I were diagnosed with unexplained infertility and have been trying for 10 years. The NHS took a year to go through the test and then there was another year waiting list so we went with CRGH. I've had a 3 year break regarding any treatment and just decided this year to give it another try. As I'm not getting any younger 😔. My husband has poor motility and morphology. And my last amh was average but fsh was high so that's why the clinic has recommended 2 egg retrievals before fertilisation. My last miscarriage was tested and confirmed to be chromosome abnormality hence the clinic have recommended the PGS route. I've also tried intrepids. So basically have given everything a go. I have to keep faith that it will work this time. 

Would be good to know what kind of treatment everyone on this thread is going for and with which clinic? 

I'm also taking special care on my nutrition and doing accupunture. Basically throwing everything at it this time!


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi Poppy,

I start DR on 22/5 so not far behind you! 

Sorry to read you've had a tough journey, fx this is the one    

A bit about me, we have MF infertility, due to DH having severely low count. We had our first ICSI in August 2014, and were very lucky to get a BFP first time, and had our amazing little boy. We had 1 blast frozen from that first cycle which we decided to have a FET, and luckily got another BFP, but sadly this ended in an early miscarriage in March, we decided we would love clinics as even though we are forever grateful that clinic gave us our LB, we didn't feel the care or attention was there on our second try. Plus the results are better at another clinic in our area, so we are starting DR 22/5, and I am very nervous about it all, its been so long I find it tough to remember it all from last time!

Oh and we are at Nurture clinic, having ICSI, long protocol, with menopur, dose will be higher this time on 225, was 150 last time, but didnt get a huge number of eggs, even though they expected me too, from AFC & AMH. Just had all these tests redone, and everything looked good, very lucky that our issue lies purely with hubby, hoping it will make things easier, as last time my cycle wa very straight forward. I too am eating a very nutritious diet, taking ubiquinol and a good multi vit recommended in the book it starts with the egg, and hubby is on vit c, e, omega 3 and selenium.  I am also doing acupucture with a zita west affiliated acupuncturist, who I have used on all my cycles. Fx for us both!

How are you feeling on the DR drugs? I didnt get any side affects last time, but worrying it may not be the same this time..


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hi both, 

Poppy - I'm not far behind you. 

Teammonkey - I'm also starting down reg on either 21 or 22 / 5 (still trying to work out which - AF came mid-afternoon on 1st May - still not sure whether that means I have to start on 22nd or whether i can start on 21st instead - surely a few short hours doesn't make a difference and I want to just get this over with!!!).  

AFM -I'm also on long protocol.  I'm with the NHS, so combo of UCLH / CRGH.  

Finding it hard to work and live life at the moment - all I can think about is the upcoming ICSI and I'm really nervous about it.  I'm not doing anything other than taking the usual supplements and eating healthily etc.  I'm worried that the more I throw at this the more disappointed I'll be if it doesn't work, and the harder I'll find it to concentrate on the other things in my life. I haven't had the same touch journeys you both have - no miscarriages.  Just a really long time of thinking and hoping to get pregnant and watching everyone around me having babies!  I'm really hoping the ICSI works. 

best of luck to both of you.


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Soo lovely to hear from both of you. And yes I feel exactly the same. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. As really this the the last try with my own eggs so I have a lot of expectations. I know exactly what you mean with high expectations and being let down. But I think in this you have to give it your all and believe 100% that it will work.

In the past I have tried to juggle my work and treatment and it works if you don't have a high pressures job like mine where I am expected to do presentations etc. So this time I have taken a break from work so I can focus 100%. But don't get me wrong I have lots of other things going on like some charity work and doing my garden to keep my mind occupied.

It's so hard and there is no formula that fits all. I just know my stress levels are better without work to worry about. This journey is so hard and only if you have been through it can you fully understand. Especially when the drugs take effect 😳 I just thought I have to take a different approach to really increase my chances. As I'm not sure how I feel about donor eggs if I had to consider in the future. 

So the only DR side effects I get is oily skin which triggers off abit of spots on my face. Good job I'm at home. Lol.

We thought about changing clinics too but the success rates of crgh are quite high and now trust they have moved location the care is very good. And I had just done all my blood tests with them so really didn't want to go through all that again.

I do find that I'm the bottom of the barrel. But I'm keeping optimistic because I've never been told I can't have children so that's something positive that I always go back to.

Keep believing and staying positive is the hardest part of the journey. The injections are easy in comparison.


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi Ladies,

Tentoes do you mind me asking if there is a cause of your DH sperm count? You dont meet people often where sperm count is the issue, its either no sperm at all, or poor morphology or motility where count is fine! My hubby has a torison of his testicle as a teen, which resulted in it being removed, but the good old NHS left it on for 3 weeks, so it is no wonder he has fertility issues. He was then unlucky again and contracted mumps at 27, and this became orchitis, and he was in hospital for a week, after this happened his suffered testicular atrophy, I knew something wasnt right, but lived in denial somehow, wasnt until we started trying it dawned on us it could impact us having a baby, you just think it will just happen, as it does for everyone else you know.. On a positive I have spoken with quite a few ladies over the years, where MF has been the only issue, they have got pregnant first time a few times, and this did happen for me. I understand your thought process regarding not throwing everything at it, in fever of getting your hopes up. But I think you will regardless as this is something you want so badly. I would def follow the diet advise you see on the boards, as I think they did help me get good eggs last time, and I would recommend acupucture if you can budget it in! I will never know if it helps, but believe it has, and having done it both cycles and got pregnant both times, I am going to stick with it. How awesome if we start DR on the same day!

Poppy I can understand you feeling that way, not sure how I would feel about doner eggs either, fx it wont come to that! Great that you are in a position to take some time out from work, my job can be stressful but not too much so that I would feel the need to to take time out luckily. Fx it really helps you. Staying positive is def the hardest part, my successful cycle I was new and just assumed it would work, as the dr had been so positive, and I remember doing my meditation, and believing it would, I look back at think how naive I was, but very lucky it did work. Having had a miscarriage I now struggle to have the same positivity, strangely I didnt expect the miscarriage, having got pregnant before and carrying to full term, and my eggs only being 32, I just though it would be ok. Just shows you never know. But I am trying to put that behind me and think positively that this will work for us!We have a holiday booked in july so either way something to look forward to after!


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

teammonkey: your poor husband - he's been really unlucky, hasn't he?  And poor you, too.  I know what you mean re just assuming that it will happen - I was the same way when we were trying.  Even when it didn't happen, I just assumed that I was doing something wrong - that my job is too stressful, I worry too much, I do too much exercise, I am vegetarian and so not getting enough protein etc etc.  We tried ovulation sticks and all sorts of things but without success.  And even when all of that didn't work I was still somewhat shocked to discover that there was a medical issue (and also that it was on the male side).  I am generally optimistic going into this but I'm also terrified by that optimism as I know I'll be devastated if it doesn't work.  But you're right - I will get my hopes up no matter what and doing accupunture etc is not likely to make them higher than they already are or my disappointment any greater than it will be if this doesn't work.  I'll also look at the diet advice - thanks.  As for my husband - they don't know why his sperm count is low.  And it has fluctuated wildly too - the first test came back at 3m and they wanted him to do genetic testing - we were really worried.  But then he did two more and they came back higher - one was as high as 12m.  In addition the consultant mentioned that he has antibodies which also are likely to be posing a problem.  I believe his morphology was ok (t may have been on the wrong side of the line of normal but only just).  In short we've been told that it's highly unlikely it will ever happen naturally for us. 

Poppy - it's great you can take time out from work.  I guess the benefit of throwing it all at it is also that you will never ever look back and thing "maybe if I'd ...".  Hopefully you won't ever have to look back and it will all go brilliantly - my fingers and toes are crossed for you!  My job is also really stressful, and I'm already worried about how I'm going to manage it and IVF.  I am cutting back on how much work I take on, so hopefully it will be okay.  But as I'm on the NHS I wasn't sure of what date I would start the IVF until last month, and prior to that date I took on various commitments that I simply can't get out of.  I really need to learn to stop worrying!!


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Thank you for the kind words. I really appreciate it. I also have the book it's starts with the egg but I didn't get round to reading it. I will read it now just in case I'm missing anything. I try and keep the diet simple even though I'm not too strict either. I try to stick to dark green or dark red fruit and veg. And I'm taking the recommended supplements from zita west. 

It's so good you have booked a holiday. Will keep you mind focused. We have just come back from Sicily and now I feel ready for this journey.

I know what you mean re miscarriages. I will be terrified even if I get a positive and don't think I will be able to relax until after 3 months. I saw a heart beat in my second pregnancy so I know I can do this. Just have to keep my fingers crossed that this my time. 

You know have been successfully pregnant before so concentrate on that positive. It will happen for you. 🙏🙏🙏


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Such lovely words, thanks ladies. Nice to speak with others going through the same tough journey, all slightly different but never the less we know how much the support helps!

Poppy so so glad we have the holiday booked, accidental that is ended up being after treatment, we booked with friends and our LO's so will be so nice getting away with friends, just hoping I can't drink for the right reason this time   Sicily sounds amazing, somewhere I would love to go, would you recommend? Oh and I feel you re the 3 month thing, I have had 1 miscarriage and very early on, I think each week I will be feeling assured, but until I get to the 3 month mark like you say it will be hard! Saying that last time, I worried every day for the first 3 months, then was marked as high risk due to crazy blood results on the down syndrome test, so just as a began to relax I was on edge, they wanted me to have an amnio, suggested abortion, hubby was having none of it, we paid privately for the harmony test and we were told all was fine, but as I am sure you can imagine I was anxious the whole pregnancy, was checked over several times for reduced movement, I just found pregnancy so stressful, until I had him in my arms I worried, and the worry never stops   All worth it now though!Just hoping I can be lucky again, you read of ladies have more than 1, I just hope I can be that lucky. 

Tentoes, I know my hubby has had a hardtime bless him! I am veggie too, zita west does say veggie proteins are very good for ivf, and I ate tons of lentils, quinoa, some tofu and felt it helped me get good eggs. So def dont worry about that this cycle. Always find it weird when they cant find a reason for low sperm count, has he ever seen a urologist? Sounds like his count does vary, I have heard antibodies can be a big issue but I dont really know much about them, my hubbys count is too low to check a lot of stuff, and I do find myself worrying about the dna and could that cause us issues. It's never ending, but we have to just be positive and hope the drs will sort for us both!Sorry to hear your job is stressful, what is it you do for work? x


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Tentoes - I go through so many ups and downs during this treatment emotionally and generally I am such a strong person. I remember once somebody told me it's an emotional rollecoaster and because it was my first attempt I thought hmm well I'm abit different to everyone and will take it in my stride. When it failed we were both devastated and I guess I lost hope everyday since then. But have to keep pushing my mind to the positive mindset otherwise there is no point trying. You will find you equilibrium. Try and prioritise this over anything else when you get closer to your dates. I know easier said then done. I was on a team away day going through all sorts of group challenges when I was taking my injections once. When I look back now I think how did I manage. It's all doable I suppose and the clinic always say try and keep yourself busy so there is no hard of fast rule. 

Teammonkey - yes I am turning 40 next year so that was my wake up call. I thought I can work for the rest of my life (because I do enjoy it) but didn't want any regrets when I'm old and grey thinking I couldn't give up 6 months of my life for this. So here goes.

I'm sure trying for no. 2 is just as challenging as trying for your first one. So keep your spirits up. I always get at least you got pregnant from some of my ivf buddies but I don't see how that puts me a different bracket so I know just because you have one child doesn't make your pain any easier for wanting a second. Keep faith.

Looking forward to hearing all about the appts and next steps from both of you. Xx my appt to sign all the consent forms is on Tuesday. And I think they will show me all the injections again because I don't remember a thing from my last treatment.


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi ladies, 
How are you getting on?
Poppy did consent go ok? When Do you begin injections? Agree re the challenge for no 2, I do think in a horrid way I'm glad I got pregnant both cycles, even if last time did end in miscarriage. But at the same time that's left me with the fear what if that's happens again, what if something is wrong with me.. I know I'm probably being silly as all tests show I'm fine, but you worry! 

We gave consent app Thursday, and moving DH frozen samples to our new clinic the same day, which has been super stressful! Silly thing we probably won't need the sperm, didn't use it last time, but gives us peace of mind knowing we have a back up plan xx


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hello, 

How was the spa day today, teammonkey?  

Poppy - have you seen there's now a May/June cycle buddies chat set up (which is how I know about teammonkey's spa day)? Lots of ladies there chatting about their current or upcoming cycles.  Although I have to say the volume of messages is a bit overwhelming - I'm finding it very hard to keep up.  I'm sure I'm missing messages and also find it hard to keep on track of who has said what and never know whether it's rude to respond to one person but not another or how to go about it!  

I hope you're both well.  I started taking the noriestherone (sp?) tablets yesterday, and am due to start injections on Sunday.  I am so glad it's finally happening.  Being on the NHS it has been a long wait and I've been so up and down during that wait. 

Poppy - I already understand what you mean regarding the emotional roller coaster, and that's before I've even started and added hormones and drugs into my system! 

On top of work we're going to have back-to-back house guests with us while we're going through the IVF.  First my stepmother and father are arriving to stay with us for a week (the last week I'll be on the down regs).  Then the day they leave two very close friends and their 3-year-old are staying with us for 10 days. That should be when I'm on the stimms. These two told me yesterday that they're pregnant with their second child.  I'm very happy for them, but there was a little part of me that felt very sad for myself and thought: why is it so easy for some people and not us?  They fell pregnant with their first and second child within the first couple of months of trying.  As I said, I'm very happy for them but just feeling a bit sorry for myself.  Anyway, the timing for house guests isn't great (organised before I knew my dates for treatment), but on the upside it should be a nice distraction from treatment.  

I'd better get back to work - 5 pm and I've managed to get very little done today so I should crack on so I can leave at a reasonable hour.  I'm trying to wean myself off coffee (or at least down to one small cup, which apparently is fine) prior to starting on the injections.  It's very hard.  I'm so tired, I actually dozed off for a couple of seconds at my desk after lunch today! I'm assuming it's the lack of caffeine rather than the tablets I'm taking.  Hopefully once my body gets used to giving up the coffee I'll be better!


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Spa day was nice! But I did find myself overthinking the pending treatment. I think I'm beginning to worry about the possible failure following my miscarriage. Funny how something which is so common, has left me worrying I won't be able to carry a baby again. Logically I know it's ridiculous, but my emotions are getting the better of me.. I agree about the cycle buddies, it's always the same, for me it becomes so impersonal as you can't remember whose done what really! My fresh cycle we had another group like this, for male factor only ladies, smaller and was much nicer as you knew exactly what stage everyone was and got to feel you were experiencing treatment together! How are tablets going? This time next week we will both be downregulating, exciting times! 
I agree house guests not ideal but tbh it will be a welcome distraction, do they know about your treatment? In case you need to lie down if the drugs hit you hard? That's the only thing I'd say may be needed xx


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hello ladies! Lovely to hear from you both.

Teammonkey I'm so glad you had a lovely spa session. That has probably made you nice and relaxed and hopefully ready for the next step.

Tentoes - exciting that you have started the DR. Are
You getting any side affects. I didn't sleep well while I was on the them but I'm not a very good sleeper anyway.

I'm off the DR now and have been soo tired 😳 Probably just catching up on the sleep. 
Just waiting for my monthly now and will book in my scan. Excited and nervous!
Consent appt went well. So much paperwork. They have called hubby in for the usual tests which were apparently out of date so fingers crossed that's all ok.
Probably start my injections on Saturday. 🙏🙏🙏

I know what you mean in terms of organising stuff while you are on treatment and having people round. Part of you doesn't want to stop your life but another part of me wants to just hide away for a little while. Gosh tentoes must be hard facing your pregnant friend but ofcourse it's a happy time for her it just magnifies what you are trying to do. Hang in there. I went to a baby shower last wkd and felt like such an outsider. I didn't realise most of the invited guests would be mummies too. First time I've felt abit lost. Hey how. The girl had gone through quite a journey herself so I was so happy for her. 12 years of trying and finally a successfully ivf attempt from a clinic in India. Why do other mummies try to make you feel better by saying children are hard work and how lucky am I that I don't have them. It does make me laugh sometimes.

Have a lovely day girls and speak soon. I will have a look at the other forum too.


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi Poppy,
Thank you to was nice! 

I remember the same feeling before we had our IVF baby, its hard being around lots of people who have children, as people do say silly things! I often think they dont know what to say so say silly things, its like us after having our son, people were saying when are you having another one, are you not pregnant yet, and we are like do you not remember how we conceived our son?   Children are hardwork, but the best hardwork you will have, and saying that wont help you, but those who have not suffered with infertility just dont have a clue what it actually feels like to yearn for a child! xx


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Teammonkey: Very glad to hear the spa day went well.  The tablets are fine.  I think it's just a version of the pill.  I'm really tired, but I think that's more from the stress and trying to break my caffeine addiction! It's not just the morning coffee - I have about two cups of tea a day at work too.  I realise now how much I relied on them to get me through.  I'm also overthinking the treatment, even without having suffered through a miscarriage.  I think it's really hard not to do just that. Emotions and feelings aren't logical so I wouldn't beat yourself up by thinking that how you feel is ridiculous - it's not at all.  And it's not even unusual to feel that way as is apparent from this forum and posts from many others who have been through a MC.  Hopefully once we both start on the DRs we'll both have another focus which might help.  It's not long now!    

The cyclebuddies group is great, but I really am finding it impossible to keep up! Smaller grounds are a good idea, although hard to initiate. And I suppose cyclebuddies will thin out naturally as people move onto the 2ww board etc.  

Poppy78 - Exciting that you look to start on the injections Saturday!!  But urgh to baby showers.  It's lovely that your friend is pregnant but I find happiness for the mother to be doesn't make it easier going to these things. I don't know what the one you went to was like, but sometimes these things can objectively be pretty awful too.  For example, a friend of mine (who has unsuccessfully gone through fertility treatment) went to one last week and told me she was the only woman there without children.  And the best friend of the mother to be had organised a game where all the women had to write down on a piece of paper the lessons they had learned as mothers to pass onto the mother to be.  So she sat there, wondering whether she was meant to leave her paper blank or what she should do.  I guess people who have never been through fertility issues don't know what it is like and can therefore be a bit thoughtless at times.  I've found that with my friends - this friend I've referred to is the only other person I know who has been through IVF and who I'm close enough to talk to about it.  And even with her, she's more or less given up trying now so I'm cautious as to what I say as I appreciate that I'm in a fortunate position as compared to her in that I'm just at the start of my journey and have good reasons to be hopeful. I've told my other friends but try as they might I don't think they really understand.  One or two seem more concerned by the fact I'm no longer wanting to go for a drink!  It's a really lonely process.  And even though DH is supportive, we're experiencing this in very different ways.  

Our houseguests all know about our treatment.  So having them with us will be fine - so long as I'm not feeling too unwell it should be a welcome distraction.  Although I have no idea how to toddler-proof our house (which has quite a few steps) before they arrive so am slightly worried about that!  Most importantly I suppose I'll need to make sure all the drugs and needles are well and truly out of reach!


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi tentoes, I wouldn't get too worried about the caffeine, too much can be an issue, but realistically a couple of teas a day will do no harm, when I was pregnant I had cut all caffeine out months before IVF as so worried about every little thing. But suffered the worst headaches, everyday was like the worst hangover of my life, after 20 weeks of this, I was looking on dr google where someone had said caffeine was a fix, so I started having a cup of tea in the morning and afternoon, it fixed me! So it taught me some caffeine is good! 

Fx once we both start DR we will feel more in control of this damn thing, I just wish I was going on holiday now, as last time I did DR I spent 10 days in the sun relaxing, which I do think helped. 

Thats good that your house guests know about treatment, a nice distraction, but ok for you to go off for a nap if needed! Toddler proof, they will go in any cupboard, break anything which is on the side, and breakable, they just love grabbing stuff! So I would just put anything breakable high up! Hopefully the parents will have put enough rules in place that they can behave and not be too destructive   good practice for you hehe xx


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

teammonkey - I am dreaming about a holiday in the sun at the moment!  I would love to be lying on a beach right now!!  Thanks too for the advice re caffeine.  I thought that one cup in the morning and one cup of tea in the afternoon would be okay, as it's within the NHS guidance on caffeine intake during pregnancy.  But then I got a bit stressed about even that when I saw so many people on the cycle buddies forum talking about cutting it out altogether so felt I should be doing that too.  Maybe I'll just try and wean myself down to one cup of tea.  Cutting out all the pleasures in life is a bit too brutal! 

hmmm, maybe I need to invest in some cupboard latches and stair gates for the toddler!


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

haha you and me both! Don't start I am dreaming now   last time it was so nice, I did meditation in the morning by the pool ate lots of fresh food, only downside was I had no alcohol, and I bloody love a nice cocktail or 10! I think some get a little OTT with the whole caffeine thing, its the books and advise on here, that gets people a bit crazy, and to be honest if the problem doesnt lie with you, which it doesnt in our case, our hormones work as they should so I don't think we need to go too crazy with it all. I was reading for example in the zita book that you should have no sugar as this can affect you ovulating, well I love my choclate and even the month after I miscarried I ovulated like clockwork, so I think a lot of this advise is not as necessary for those of us which are fortunate enough to have no issues. I think a balanced diet of fresh food, I avoid anything processed eat lots of nutrients, but if I fancy a cuppa I am having one  

I dont even have a stair gate for my own toddler, did have but he now goes up and down fine, how old are they?


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Thanks teammonkey - that does make me feel better. I wasn't worried about my diet (because like you I eat very healthily anyway) until i started reading that cycle buddies page. I've never had issues ovulating  and I've always been like clockwork - so hopefully I can just go on as per normal (save for the no alcohol of course!).  Plus I think I'll make more of an effort to up my protein intake slightly.  Although because I like doing weights at the gym (which I'll miss during stims ...) my protein content is also pretty high already.  

I might have to look into a trip away, even if within the UK, during the two week wait.  I can already see that's going to be horrendous! 

The toddler is 3.  She's very cute but also quite mischievous.  And our house is very far from toddler proof.  We renovated recently, and because I'm quite petite our kitchen now doesn't have hardly any cupboards up high - everything is within toddler reach!


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

A trip away sounds good the 2ww is so hard, though I am terrible and always test early   I fancy doing something too but we go away on the 8th july and my hubby recently started a new business so will be too busy to come with us, and I cant really lift my son too much early on so probably wont happen for me. Enjoy though, hopefully one of your last few trips alone  

I too love weight training, and got into in a big way last year, and it transformed my body, but I was eating too much protein for IVF, so had to scale it back and doing lighter weight. The only thing diet wise I am making sure I do is not have too much diet, apparently it creates too much ammonia, which studies have shown reduce implantation, so I have scaled it back, and I used to eat a lot of low fat dairy, and now I dont have that as they say its bad for fertility. One thing I would recommend having lots of full fat milk, they say it helps get good eggs, and I did it on my successful cycle and all my eggs went to blast and I was first time lucky, and I think it did have an impact xx


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hi girls - just catching up on your posts  Gosh I would love to go away again, and just relax on a beach somewhere. They should create an ivf resort where you can have your treatment and full relaxation on the beach. What a great idea. Maybe when I get my brood I will build something like that. 

Loving the tips on caffeine. I really fancied a coffee today because I'm getting my normal monthly hormonal headache which usually a coffee would fix. I think a treat once in while is ok.

Good tip on the full fat milk. I had heard something similar about this too. Apparently ARGC clinic make their patients drink a pint of milk a day. 

I'm finding it hard to focus on anything now. Just need my AF to arrive so I know when the stims start. Counting the hours 

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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hi girls - just catching up on your posts  Gosh I would love to go away again, and just relax on a beach somewhere. They should create an ivf resort where you can have your treatment and full relaxation on the beach. What a great idea. Maybe when I get my brood I will build something like that. 

Loving the tips on caffeine. I really fancied a coffee today because I'm getting my normal monthly hormonal headache which usually a coffee would fix. I think a treat once in while is ok.

Good tip on the full fat milk. I had heard something similar about this too. Apparently ARGC clinic make their patients drink a pint of milk a day. 

I'm finding it hard to focus on anything now. Just need my AF to arrive so I know when the stims start. Counting the hours 

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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Poppy that would be awesome would it? I think I did drink a pint a day when stimming! Some drink 2 litres! No chance I'm doing that! 

Had our consent and teach appointment today, funny how you remember everything very quickly! We also transferred hubbys frozen sperm ourselves from our old clinic to our new one. That was scary but happy it's done now! 


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## kayza27 (Feb 13, 2017)

Just a small essay about me!
Me and my partner are 31, been TTC for 6 years, found out I had endemetriosis and a cyst, OH has sperm issues that may or may not effect fertility, I had laparoscopy in January* to remove  it all, started on clomid in Feb, had scan and they may or may not have found another cyst, told to skip clomid this month, do natural cycle and start up again !!! Then found out just b4 Christmas 2015 that my younger sis is preg without trying!! She had her baby in June, now other sister is pregnant!!

So started IVF long protocol* early June but it was abandoned just before egg collection due to low egg results, they wanted to give me best chance with funding.

started short protocol in late August but once again things went wrong! Although I got as far as egg collection this time, due to once again low response to the stims their was only 3 eggs to be taken out! One was naff but the other two were ok but still didn't survive fertilisation!!

Hospital said no more funding now! So next step was an egg donor, we signed up with London womans clinic in Cardiff and got a match just before Christmas with everything going ahead In February but unfortunately Even though we got 8 eggs none of them fertilized so we were back to square one again!! 

Fast forward to the start of April, we decided to go ahead again and got a match pretty quick! Just started taking microgynon and waiting on cycle schedule to come through!! This will be our last chance so hopefully my luck will change for once!! 

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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi kayza, welcome and I am so sorry to read what a tough journey you have been on! Have you ever had your husbands sperm DNA checked? Having male factor I know issues with fertilisation can be that. Might be worth investigating. Good luck xx


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## kayza27 (Feb 13, 2017)

teammonkey said:


> Hi kayza, welcome and I am so sorry to read what a tough journey you have been on! Have you ever had your husbands sperm DNA checked? Having male factor I know issues with fertilisation can be that. Might be worth investigating. Good luck xx
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


What does that involve? Wouldn't they automatically do that if they new it was male factor?

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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

It's just a semen sample, but not a standard on sperm analysis, its about £400 and they send the sperm off to Belfast I think! Where they basically give you the % DNA damage, if it's high they often recommend changes to improve before ivf. May not be your issue, but with you having had cycles with your eggs & donor eggs, I'd heard that's common with DNA damage. If you ever did go down that route dr Ramsey is the best urologist. Does your husband take any supplements like proxeed? X


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## kayza27 (Feb 13, 2017)

teammonkey said:


> It's just a semen sample, but not a standard on sperm analysis, its about £400 and they send the sperm off to Belfast I think! Where they basically give you the % DNA damage, if it's high they often recommend changes to improve before ivf. May not be your issue, but with you having had cycles with your eggs & donor eggs, I'd heard that's common with DNA damage. If you ever did go down that route dr Ramsey is the best urologist. Does your husband take any supplements like proxeed? X
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


We both take Tescos own conception plus, I've got to ring my clinic tomorrow but it might be to late for the DNA test but hoodully not

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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

I did quite a bit of reading about the DNA test after my miscarriage, and there a lot of info where it said basically clinics always recommend ICSI, as that's where the money is. When actually if there is a failure to fertilise for example, it needs to be investigated, often men are not investigated properly. I've read cases were couples have done numerous cycles to find out later there was an issue Which needed addressing first. Could be worth checking! X


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## kayza27 (Feb 13, 2017)

teammonkey said:


> I did quite a bit of reading about the DNA test after my miscarriage, and there a lot of info where it said basically clinics always recommend ICSI, as that's where the money is. When actually if there is a failure to fertilise for example, it needs to be investigated, often men are not investigated properly. I've read cases were couples have done numerous cycles to find out later there was an issue Which needed addressing first. Could be worth checking! X
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I definitely will ask them tomorrow thanks x

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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

That's so true team monkey. I think the focus on the woman compared to the man is miles apart. It's frustrating but I have made my husband take supplements this time round (abit of gentle persuasion  this was not recommended from clinic. We did the have DNa test. All came out good thank god I just have to keep hoping it will work this time round.

Also good to know I'm not the only one guzzling full fat milk then did you drink it warm or cold? As they say you should have cold drinks. Room temperate maybe.

Glad the consents and teaching appt went well. 

I started my injections yesterday was so terrified when i saw the whole protocol but feel a lot better today. Will take everyday as it comes. I'm keep a video diary too which I will post on this forum once I know how to.

Welcome to the thread kayza27. Sorry to hear you have been through such a tough journey.

Sending everyone some positive energy with the journeys you are going through. Xxxx

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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi Poppy!
Oh god I know! I think I'm becoming wise to the clinics now, they've given me my baby I'll be eternally grateful! But so many people have unnecessary treatment! If it fails, why? Why do men's issues get pushed aside with oh try ICSI? Grrr rant over 

My hubby is on macca, vit c, and e, selenium and omega 3. Did have proxeed but he was quite unwell on it so we gave up on that!

Yay to starting! It's scary stuff isn't it? After seeing how my body has reacted to the last set of drugs, gaining weight when I never do, refusing to lose that extra, feeling fat & bloated I'm dreading starting again. Nuf then went to a wedding with 3 newborn babies and I nearly died, I need one!  so I need todo this!

That's a great idea about the video diary! Are you having any side effects? X

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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hello girls here are my links to my first vids from Saturday. They were my first attempt so bare with me. Lol. I cut myself when breaking the first vial  and I also had a concert to go to that night so did the injections abit earlier than normal. But I got there in the end. 

Sprinkling positive dust all around and praying we all have positive outcomes. 











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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

My only side effect is that I'm abit wired  I know that is the steroids not actually the injections. I haven't slept properly for 2 nights now but having read around I'm told those tablets settle in your system by day 3. Here's hoping tonight I get a good nights rest.  I suffer from vestibular migraines so get disturbed sleep now and then but hopefully it all settles today. X

Team monkey so good your hubby is on the supplements. Makes me feel better that it's the right thing to do. I ordered mine from zita west in the end. Abit more expensive but they seemed to have everything. And yes the clinics don't really provide that extra curricular education about looking after yourself which you actually start learning as you go through the cycles.

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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Team monkey I totally get it regarding the weight gain. I also put on weight when they put me on a high dose of steroids and the intrapalids last time so yes I'm terrified I will look like Mr blobby soon but so worth it when the bundle of joy arrives. 

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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Love the video! I bet that will really help others 

I hope it settles and you get some rest tonight, nothing worse than not sleeping!

I have to remind him most days, but he's great, has cut all caffeine out and alcohol, apart from a treat maybe 1 every couple of weeks. It made a big difference last time, his count rose from 0.1million to 1.2 million. He was very proud 

Haha we can look like mr blobby together, people keep saying your tiny, I'm thinking it's ok for you to say that, your jeans aren't tight like mine! X

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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Poppy78 - great idea re the videos!  I'm starting on the down reg injections tonight and am worried I've already forgotten how to do them... 

Kayza - sorry to hear about your previous cycles.  it seems really mean that your hospital funding was cut off even though the cycles couldn't be completed. 

Teammonkey - hope you're well.  I don't believe you are even slightly blob like by the way! I think you need to trust all your friends who tell you otherwise.  I think you're starting tonight on the down regs too, aren't you? How are you feeling about it all? 

AFM, nothing much to report at all.  Wishing I was outside in the sunshine and just eager to get started with the downregs now, but pretty nervous about my first one tonight.


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hey tentoes! 
I thought you were a day ahead of me! Yay to starting on the same day  yes start tonight, thinking I'll go for 8? Try not to be, it's not that bad! X

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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Day 3 and I'll be going for a scan tomorrow. Feeling hopeful 

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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Good luck for tomorrow xx


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Good luck for today Poppy78! 

Teammonkey - I did my injection at 8.30 last night and it was fine in the end.  I was wondering how I would get that needle all the way in but it just went in there and I didn't feel a thing.  Hurray to starting!


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Tentoes that's great news!! I expected mine to be easy.. it would not go in! Took a lot of attempts, it seems my tummy is tougher now! Probably all the exercise! Anyway we are here, it's started! Yay!! How are you feeling? X


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hello girls.

Tentoes / team monkey so great that you have started the injections I think just 2 days behind me then. It's nice to think I'm not alone on this  sprinkling all the positive dust to help you on your journey's.

First injection was abit nerve racking wasn't it? Is anyone taking zomacton like me? Any tips on keeping those bubbles away.

I got a better nights sleep last night. Thankfully! And just been for my scan. All looks good. Follicles are growing well.  4 on each side over 6mm so I think that is a good thing. 

Looking forward to hearing updates on how you girls are getting on xxx

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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi Poppy, no I'm not taking zomacton, what do you take that for? I've not heard of that one! Scan sounds really good! 
So I'm feeling quite groggy from the buserelin, bit of a shock as didn't get any side affects last time, just shows how different 2 cycles can be! Hoping tonight's jab will be easier as I struggled to get it to go in! X


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Here's my last video to give abit more detail on my scan 

Zomacton is a growth hormone injection. I take it every other day. Sits in the fridge.

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling groggy. Yes you are so right all cycles are so different. I suppose it depends on your situation. I remember flying around work last time because the steroids were making me hyper. What a looney 

Hope you girls are doing well!xxxx

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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi Poppy, I'm giggling at you buzzing about work, needed cheering up! 

Not sure if it's the meds or just my emotions with the year I have had, but I'm feeling quite low today. I think 2 cycles + miscarriage is all a bit much for me. Here's hoping this cycle makes it worth while! Groggy no longer but super exhausted!!  X 


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

teammonkey said:


> Hi Poppy, I'm giggling at you buzzing about work, needed cheering up!
> 
> Not sure if it's the meds or just my emotions with the year I have had, but I'm feeling quite low today. I think 2 cycles + miscarriage is all a bit much for me. Here's hoping this cycle makes it worth while! Groggy no longer but super exhausted!! X
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Ah team monkey that's a lot to go through this year so it's totally understandable 

I've been told to send my videos via another method on the cycle buddies forum but I don't know how to do it. So I will continue sending then in this in this forum instead. I have my scan today. So watch this space 

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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Fx for today's scan! Let us know how it goes! Xx


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Good luck for today's scan Poppy78! 

teammonkey - I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling low.  Is it sunny where you are? I find a good run in the sun helps when I'm feeling low.  Or if you're not up to it, some excellent music through headphones (and so blocking out the rest of the world) for whatever minutes you can snatch lying outside in the sun.  It's a tough ride, you've been through an awful lot and you have to look after yourself. x


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi tentoes,
Sadly I'm recovering from a knee injury so a run is out, which is a shame as I'd love that!! Did have a mini gym workout, not as full on as normal. How are you feeling? No side effects I hope! Are you still managing ok with the injections? X


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi tentoes,
Sadly I'm recovering from a knee injury so a run is out, which is a shame as I'd love that!! Did have a mini gym workout, not as full on as normal. How are you feeling? No side effects I hope! Are you still managing ok with the injections? X


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hi Teammonkey,

I also did a mini gym session this morning - I will miss those once they have to stop! 

I'm coping with the injections just fine thanks - I had built them up so much in my head before I started that compared to that I'm finding them to be a breeze.  But I'm ridiculously tired.  I have been sleeping very badly at night - I don't know whether that is a side effect or just a whole combination of stresses getting on top of me (IVF, house guests arriving tomorrow, work, a broken boiler and no hot water - thankfully now fixed after taking time off work to meet a plumber today).  And I'm feeling awfully tired during the day.  But that's probably because I'm not sleeping at night... Also feeling pretty down but I think again that is all wrapped up in just being stupidly tired!  Hopefully a long weekend of sunshine will sort me out. I'm going to take tomorrow off too, to make it a four-day long weekend and just to give myself a bit of a break.  I think you mentioned having a four day weekend too? Great weather for it, isn't it?

x


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hello lovely ladies. Scan went well today. Everything progressing as it should. Although some follicles are growing faster than others I'm trying not to stress about the sizes and numbers at this stage too much.

Tentoes I feel exactly the same I'm coping with the injections just fine. Just not getting a proper sleep, but what do you expect when you on such a high dose protocol. I feel pretty groggy in the day and I've just started the antibiotics which says no direct sunlight on the pack.  but trying to keep the spirits up.

Today's doctors wasn't as nice as tuesday's and that always plays on my mind. She was like ooh ok the left side is doing better than the right. So that stressed me alittle but when the clinic called later they have told me to keep to the same does so I guess I'm still doing well. These docs don't realise you are in such a fragile state anything negative effects you.

Hope everyone is doing well? And have nice relaxation plans for this wkd Xxx

My latest vid below.

My IVF journey - May 17
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8o95_N-sPHPfQQhGen8qDKYkErvRZscV


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Not sure why the message doubled up. Must be the drugs. Sorry x

My IVF journey - May 17
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8o95_N-sPHPfQQhGen8qDKYkErvRZscV


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Evening ladies, 
Poppy glad the scan went well, don't worry about the Dr, you are right they have no idea how 1 comment can make us panic!! But the fact you're not upping your dose is a good sign!! Sorry to hear you're not getting proper sleep, like you say these meds must affect us xx

Tentoes - sorry to hear you've been suffering too! Maybe the feeling down is a side effect as I don't normally but have this week! Are you just waking & unable to get back to sleep? Or feeling ill? First night I was waking a lot, but that was the groggy feeling I think. What kind of stuff are you doing at the gym? I'm going in the morning, leg day so think I'll do mainly weights! Enjoy if while I still can! Hope you get a good nights rest! Nice that you have a 4 day weekend! I don't work Fridays, so have 4 days off with my lo which is lovely! Hopefully the sun will do us both some good!! X

Been out for dinner tonight, I was very good had a tonic water, ate cod and broccoli, trying to ensure I'm getting my nutrients and protein in! Nice getting out when it's warm, but did miss being the only one not having a glass of wine. My mummy friends were all talking about trying for babies, I'm so sad that to them it's such an exciting thing, which is easy to achieve. The comments of it's not that bad having two.. very hard to hear xx


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hi Ladies, 

Poppy - great that the scan went well.  And you're right - the doctors really don't have a clue at the way we over-analyse and panic over the comments they make!  I hope that the sun helps this weekend and makes sure you get some good sleep - even if you're not in the direct sunlight and are sitting in the shade, it's quite nice I find just seeing the sun around you!

Teammonkey -  I'm waking up and just not being able to get to sleep.  I'm not feeling ill at all - just waking up at weird hours and then finding I'm wide awake.  And I'm so tired during the day!  You sound like you've been very well behaved - sticking to tonic water, cod and broccoli when out is fantastic.  Did all your friends know about the IVF? I find it so hard to be around all that sort of chatter at the moment.  I am also finding the other thing my friends are doing (the ones who know I'm doing IVF) is talking as though I'm already pregnant - e.g making comments about summer holidays and saying things like "oh, I guess you'll be in the first trimester then..."  - as though this IVF think is a guaranteed process and just a means to a definite end! They don't have a clue as to how stressful it is.  I went to the gym and did spin this morning, but they had the music up really loud and I was on the bike right near the speaker so couldn't cope, left part-way through and then did some core work.  Yesterday was shoulders / arms day.  The day before that was legs and I might have overdone it on the legs this week and have been hobbling around a bit since! 

AFM Today is the last day I have to take the noriesterone (I still can't remember the spelling!) and then after that wait for AF before I go in for my scan.  I'm feeling a bit nervous about that - what if there's a problem and I can't start on the stims or they have to cancel my cycle? I'm worrying unnecessarily, I know!


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## kayza27 (Feb 13, 2017)

Sorry haven't been in here much! 

Tentoes we were really annoyed as well , we tried to argue with them but with no avail ! Just started on the pill waiting for our schedule so fingers crossed it will work this time! 

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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hello ladies. Thank so much for the positive replies. I'm so glad everyone feels like that. Cuz any comment from the doc can put you on a downer. I know I'm older so won't have that many eggs on collections which is why they are doing a double retrieval. But still trying to keep positive!

Team monkey- well done on the tonic water. It's a bummer right! Lovely sunny weather and we have been told to lower the caffeine, alcohol and keep away from the sun  writing this post while I sip a glass of full fat milk And I'm having sneaky walks in the sun because I know abit of vit d won't hurt me It must be really hard to hear those stories from all the mummies. I'm not in that circle so kind of am protected from hearing anything like that. So if it was anything like the baby shower I went to. I feel you! 

What's the next steps on your treatment plan?

Tentoes - sorry to hear you are not sleeping. Sounds exactly like me. I fall asleep turn up at a crazy time tossing and turning wide awake. Going to try and last time 10pm today and sleep through the night. Yes it's hard for people to understand what you go through unless they have been through it themselves.

Ooh so not long now for you start your stims. Good luck and everything you are feeling is so normal! I was in a little shock when I got the protocol when I went in for my baseline scan.

Enjoy the sunshine this wkd lovely ladies xxxx

I have done a vid of the cetrotide in case anyone is taking it this cycle. Slightly bigger needle to be injected. Bring it on!

My IVF journey - May 17
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8o95_N-sPHPfQQhGen8qDKYkErvRZscV


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

I need to work out why my messages double up on this forum. Must be the app I'm using 

My IVF journey - May 17
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8o95_N-sPHPfQQhGen8qDKYkErvRZscV


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Might be ok now as I've changed the settings

My IVF journey - May 17
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8o95_N-sPHPfQQhGen8qDKYkErvRZscV


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

And I'm still really confused with all the cycle buddies on the other forum. But so nice to see how many women are going through the same as us. X


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi ladies,
Tentoes yes they know, I'm very close to them, and they knew my son was an ivf baby. They were great when I had my miscarriage, I'm quite open about it, as my friends know I always drink at dinner  if things went badly this cycle I know I need there support. Just wish they'd be a little more sensitive about things, I know it's not intentional but it's hard to hear.. oh I've had that before! Hate it!! It puts so much pressure on you doesn't it? Last cycle in Feb, everyone who knew did that, and when I said let's see they didn't get it.. then I miscarried & a light bulb moment. Now everyone walks on egg shells, the only upside to what happened! Have you tried telling them it just adds pressure? Have you found the gym harder, like you're weaker especially with weights? Less energy? That's how I'm feeling! But also feel better for going after! I'm meant to be doing body attack in the morning.. I may do circuits instead. The les mills stuff is extreme!

Try not to worry! I'm sure it will all be fine! So is noriesterone a DR drug I'm on buserelin but take mine throughout treatment. Funny how different clinics have different protocols xx

Kayza - nice to hear from you, hope you're ok xx

Poppy - truly sucks  but it's hopefully for a very good cause! Keep away from the sun, whys that? Oh they are lovely but live in this world where getting pregnant is just so easy! I envy them! Horrid as this sounds, my friend out the group I'm closest too & love to bits, is heavily obese, eats badly, take always every week, burgers, all the time, her mum had the menopause at 35 yet she got pregnant & probably will again. When she was talking about it, I found it annoyed me more knowing all the sacrifices I've made, and how healthy I am..

The cycle buddy thing Poppy is confusing! I'm actually finding it hard, last time there was a lot more Chat, where ladies were being supportive, but this one seems to just be being used by a lot of people to ask questions or rant. Not really what I was hoping for. X

In bed already, just done my headspace meditation, think I'll be asleep soon! So tired at the moment, need to listen to my body & rest xx

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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hi Ladies,

Just a quick one, as I'm typing this on my phone lying in the sun (which is looovvveeellly!) and feeling on the verge of dozing off!  

Poppy - it sounds like your treatment is all going really well, which is great!

Teammonkey- Ah it is hard with friends isn't it? They do mean well and it isn't their fault they don't always know what to say, but that doesn't make it easier to hear! At least it sounds like you have a really great group of supportive friends. I do feel weaker in the gym - lacking in energy.  I'm still going - getting sessions in credit for when I have to stop during stims! I know, I know - it doesn't work that way.  But still...!    The noriesterone is a tablet I had to take on day 14 - day 25 (so I stopped taking it yesterday).  I think it is basically like the pill - so stopping it should bring on AF in 4 days and then I go in for my scan to see if I can start the stimms.  From day 21 onwards I've also been on the buserilin (sp?) downreg injections.  So today will be day 6 of those. 

AFM I'm feeling very good today - but lying in the sun on a long weekend will do that...! I think the weather is meant to turn again tomorrow which is a shame. 

Hope all you ladies are doing well!


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## kayza27 (Feb 13, 2017)

Sorry to just jump in again but I've had 3 Ivf cycles, one was cancelled before ec with Oe, one was OE but didn't fertilise, I then had tests and found out I have v.low amh level so they suggested using DE but then they didn't fertilize either so I looked it up and there are tests like DNA FRAGMENTATION and KARYOTYPE tests we can do but they seem to be more aimed at multiple misscarrages which obviously we've never got that far so I don't even know if they will even be helpful 

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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi ladies!
Tentoes great to hear from you. Glad you're feeling good! Sun definitely helps  gutted it's not going to be nice tomorrow, we have a BBQ to go to  oh and I'm glad I'm not alone feeling weak  I'm the same getting the gym sessions in while I can! But I am listening to my body & taking it easier. I did circuits today instead of a more intense class and have boot camp in the morning. I'm still up quite a few lb from my miscarriage, I seemed to gain a lot after, hormones apparently? So trying to balance it out a bit! Plus the exercise does cheer me up! Oh I see re noriesterone! Sadly I just have to wait for AF to arrive  I know she will be late, she was last time..

Hi Kayza - DNA tests are definitely helpful with failed fertilisation. Have you ever seen a urologist? You'll find clinics will tell you ivf is always the answer. That's how they make their money. But they are very inexperienced with male factor issues. Dr Ramsey is the best, & he often sees couples where they have had failed fertilisation. You can even have a consult over the phone I believe xx

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## kayza27 (Feb 13, 2017)

Thank you I will defiantly look into that x 

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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hello lovely ladies!!!

So both team monkey and tentoes you are now waiting for you AFM to arrive. How lovely that your journey' will start in full force soon. 

I definitely get it on getting all those gym sessions in. I started going crazy with the spring cleaning, meeting my friends and generally just doing lots of crazy things while I was on the noresetherone thinking life will be over once I start the stims.  Hubby was just watching and keeping away . It's like you have to get all your favourite things slotted in  But now I'm on the stims it's not too bad actually apart of the sleep I'm generally feeling ok and still go for lots of walks (sprints actually because the steroids have given me so much energy) Feeling really bloaty now too which is abit depressing as I have to choose my dresses carefully as I don't want people to start thinking I'm preggers already 

Well I went for my scan yesterday ladies and they said everything progressing although slowly. Got me down especially as it was lovely weather out there and there's me in a clinic receiving average news. It's didn't help that hubby is working this wkd. But I picked myself up and went to the cinema and watched Lady Macbeth. It was sooo nice to just switch off from everything. A must watch.

Feeling so much better today. I had a good nights sleep and no headaches. So all good. I have a lovely lunch with my mother in law planned and tomorrow I have my last scan before egg collection hopefully on Tuesday.

I have a hen day/lunch thing tomorrow too which I was umming and rring about whether to go but I think it will be good for me.

I sooo understand on the friendship end. It's such a sensitive time for us right now. And although we need our support network we are so ultra sensitive that anything can be taken the wrong way. The last time I had a unsuccessful transfer my elder sister phoned me and although was so supportive also added in you should have put the embryo in me instead. I was so distraught as I was already feeling like a failure.

These ups and downs come with the territory. I just wish there was more face to face support out there. Where you could meet women that are going through the same as you. It would help so much. But I'm loving talking to you girls. Feel like we are not alone in the this

Gosh this update is too long!

Have a lovely day ladies!!!


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi Poppy, 
Yes we are, it's very exciting, just dawned on my a week tomorrow I have my baseline scan, then the exciting bit starts! Fx AF arrives soon.

 your hubby keeping away! They learn fast to just keep out of our way  oh I hate the stage where you feel so round. I keep wondering what to get for my holiday, as it's early July! I know my clothes from my last holiday won't fit, as I've put on a few pounds since my last cycle. The problem doing back to back cycles..

Amazing news that everything is progressing, don't get down, you'll get there! But understand you feeling like that, this is a hard journey. Glad you enjoyed switching off at the cinema it does help! Glad you got a good nights rest too! Maybe the hen lunch will be a nice distraction! X

Your sister! What an A hole  seriously why do ppl say such silly things. I agree with the face to face thing, be nice to have that support xx

I've had a lovely day, seeing friends at my sons friends bday BBQ, so nice switching off from all this. Made me realise distractions are good! However I'm now knackered & need to lie down. I feel 100 years old 

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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hello girls - just a quick update from me. I'm doing my trigger injection tonight! Egg collection scheduled in for Wednesday


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Also a slight confusion on hubby needing to be there. As I thought I was doing egg batching not embryo batching .Anyway turns out hubby will be required on Wednesday and hopefully the eggs will be fertilised and frozen and then i start this process all over again.

Feel so happy that I have got to this stage but feels like there is such a long time left on this treatment yet. I suppose I could say I'm a third way though &#129310;


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

My IVF journey - May 17
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8o95_N-sPHPfQQhGen8qDKYkErvRZscV


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hi Poppy78 - that's great news that you're just about at the EC stage!!  That seems to have come about so quickly!  good luck! 

AFM, I'm still on the downregs, but AF arrived this am, so waiting for the clinic to call me back to book me in for the baseline scan to see if I can start the stims.  I hope I can and that everything has gone as it should.  I know it is silly, but I'm nervous even about this scan, thinking what if there's a cyst or the lining isn't thin enough or there's some reason I can't progress with treatment?


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## kayza27 (Feb 13, 2017)

Clinic just rang to say they are sending out my schedule so should get it any day now woohoo 

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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

kayza27  - yay!  that's exciting!


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## kayza27 (Feb 13, 2017)

tentoes said:


> kayza27 - yay! that's exciting!


Thanks x just waiting to start buseralin now

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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hello lovely ladies, I've just had my egg collection and 9 eggs were retrieved. Super happy ❤

Just resting now and feel quite relieved.


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Tentoes ofcourse you will be nervous. Thinking of you now starting your journey too. I get super nervous on every scan.


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Kayza exciting!! 

Poppy great news! 

Tentoes great news I saw on other group, that you're nearly there. Don't be nervous you'll be fine xx


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hey ladies just a quick update from me. 2 of the 9 have fertilised. I have to admit I am slightly disappointed but also trying to look at the positives. 2 is better than nothing and I'm lucky I've got to this stage.

I'm alittle gutted though as I will definitely need to do stims all over again because it's a PGS treatment and I need atleast 5 embryos to check. I'm just taking everyday as it comes.

Off to lunch with my girlfriends to get my mind off eggs and fertilisation!

I hope everyone is good?? Xxx


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Poppy78 - I'm really sorry to hear that - that's so frustrating. But as you say, you need to keep positive - 2 is better than none and you'll get there in the end.  

Teammonkey - thanks, the appointment today was fine and I'm cleared to start on stimms tonight, which is exciting.  Has AF arrived yet?  Today is only day 3 of my cycle, and my lining was thin enough to start. So hopefully even if AF continues to take her time you'll be fine when you go to have your scan too. Sorry also to hear about the chicken pox - really, really hoping that stays away for you.


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hello ladies - how are you all doing?

I've been alittle quiet lately because I'm just waiting on a follow up consultant on next steps and dates on my next cycle. I have my 2 embies frozen so will be starting all over again to create more.

So I will join the June/July cycle buddies as soon I have dates confirmed.

It's nice to have a break from it all (but the weather has turned horrible) and I have a bug which I'm trying to shift. I guess it's all the drugs and lack of sleep catching up.

Team monkey don't be disheartened that DR hasn't arrived. I know it must be so frustrating. How are you coping?


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Tentoes - how you getting on with the stims?

Kayza27 - how are you doing?


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## kayza27 (Feb 13, 2017)

Poppy78 said:


> Tentoes - how you getting on with the stims?
> 
> Kayza27 - how are you doing?


I've got my schedule through just waiting on meds to be delivered then buseralin injections start Thursday!!!!!!! ET set for w/c 10th july xx so we might be at the same time xx

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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

I'm okay thanks - just came back from my second scan and b/w on the stimms.  My ovaries haven't started responding yet but the consultant said not to worry, that some people just take a while to respond.  I was completely drenched on the way there and back, it was thoroughly miserable.  My umbrella wouldn't stay up in the wind and ended up breaking, and by the time I got home (I am working from home today to deal with the appointment) I was completely and utterly drenched.  I looked like I had been standing under the shower in my clothes for a good hour.  And I just cried.  I think it was the proverbial straw - the treatment, the constant tiredness and trying to balance work and life (in particular house guests with a small child) all at the same time is really hard and I was feeling thoroughly sorry for myself.  This whole thing is hard even when things are going okay (as they seem to be for me at the moment).  So I am sending you ladies lots of best wishes and hugs.  Waiting for AF and being on the DRs for ages and having to do back-to-back rounds - it's just thoroughly rubbish.


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi ladies,
How are you?

Poppy how are you feeling now?

Tentoes saw your post on the other group, sorry to hear your body hasn't responded how you'd hope, but like your dr says it could all catch up! I really hope it does! Glad you're taking it easy on the exercise front too, I've always believed when we're asking our bodies to do something so unnatural all our energy is best spent focusing on that. Hopefully all these things help things progress for you! Xx

I'm feeling much better now, I got so obsessed with dates, and then realised stress ruins everything so I needed to relax & keep busy! It's why I'm not coming on here much. It's a great support but I do find myself fixating more and comparing myself to other people. Getting annoyed when I'm stuck on DR. But actually I am now focusing on the positives; I down regulated for the exact same time frame with my son, apparently longer DR = shorter stim time which would match my last cycle, I only stimmed for 8 days before trigger, so hopefully I'll be starting a week today, baseline scan is Tuesday! X


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hi Teammonkey, 

I suspect I'll also not be coming on here much anymore.  My cycle was cancelled yesterday - they are doing a "freeze all" instead (assuming all goes to plan and EC happens next week).  My ovaries have responded nicely, but the increased estrogen in my body as a result of the stimms resulted in a polyp developing.  Before they can implant they need to remove that.  So hopefully I can schedule that operation (it's done under general anesthetic) in the next month and, assuming we get some frozen embryos, do a FET cycle at some point afterwards. Although given how things have gone to date I'm not even holding out home of frozen embryos and don't want to get ahead of myself only to be disappointed all over again.  I'm really gutted.  Not only because I had my heart set on this process and on it working but now need an operation under GA too.

Good luck to you ladies with your cycles (and in the case of Poppy78 the upcoming cycle).  I'll be thinking of you and wishing you well. 

x


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hello girls - sorry I have also not been on the forums for a couple of days. I totally understand what you are going through. Trying to stay optimistic when you are feeling miserable and things don't seem to be going the way they are planned is really hard!

Tentoes - I'm so sorry to hear about your cycle. Ah gosh the polyp. What a nightmare. Don't be disheartened as these days a FET cycle is the same success rate as a normal one.  I hope you are feeling ok? Fingers crossed you have lots of embryos to freeze. 🤞

Team monkey - glad you are feeling ok. How did the baseline scan go? Have you started stims?

Kayza - how are the injections going? Are buseralin the ones to increase progesterone levels?

TBH I can't keep up with the cycle buddies so wondering whether I will join the July one. It is good support but I also feel down on how many of my eggs fertilised in the end. However they are tweaking the treatment slightly for next cycle to try and get more mature eggs. I've also started a supplement called dhea. Don't know whether it will make a difference but the clinic had recommended it and I am also reading it all starts with an egg.

So I have a few weeks off now so I'm going to enjoying the sun. Wishing everyone a lovely wkd.


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Morning ladies, 
Sorry it's been a while, trying to cope with DR for 21 days and a toddler is manic & im exhausted! 

Tentoes - absolutely gutted for you! I understand your mind set that after such a huge blow you don't want to get your hopes up regarding having embies good enough to freeze. One step at a time, fx for egg collection and some great embryos! I find just staying in the moment focusing on each step helps. Frozen cycles are much easier on your body & very successful now, so fx! Xx

Poppy - I'm absolutely gutted you have to go through this again, completely understand you feeling a bit low is so hard. We have to just keep going! I know after my miscarriage in March I had to work really hard to put myself together to get here but here I am. Still struggling but coping xx

Poppy my scan is now Tuesday, so fx it's all good for me to start stims! Should start Thursday! Now day 21 of down reg which is torture xx 

I really hope your clinic can make some tweaks and things go better next time, I've heard good things about dhea! I've been taking ubiquinol after reading that book it's fascinating! I found all the changes she recommended too much for me at this stage, but I have moved to natural creams etc only, don't wear perfume, taking the pre natal and ubiquinol and have a water bottle recommended on her website too. X


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hi team monkey

I feel for you! You must be really feeling it being on the DR for that long. Hormones all over the place.

Yes I agree on the book's recommendation. Luckily my diet is pretty good but I can't do everything she says so just taking snippets of it to be honest. I keep looking in my fridge and finding how many things I have stored in plastic 

Like you said you just got to take every day as it comes. I have 2 friends from Oz stay with my for a few weeks pretty much during or just after my egg collection. They have given me plenty of notice to be fair so I can't complain and I can't stress about it too much. They know what I'm going through so will understand but it's just something else to deal with. And the fact they keep texting me and asking me whether I'm pregnant yet is sooo depressing 

We will get there. I have all my fingers crossed you for the scan tomorrow! &#129310;&#129310;&#129310;

Tentoes - hope you are ok? Sending you lots of good wishes 

Kayza - hope you are doing well? And coping well with the injections.


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Team monkey I meant to say I agree the books recommendation are too much


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Poppy I don't think the plastic thing is realistic at all! I've got to draw the line somewhere for me I'm not stressing over that! X

Ahh that must be hard, I've only told a few friends but wishing noneright now as it adds pressure! Hate that!

Tentoes thinking of you & hope everything is going ok! Xx

Well nightmare last night, was doing my teeth & realised I'd forgot to inject!!!! So I ran down stairs! Luckily I was only half an hour late! But I was just about to go to bed 

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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hi Ladies,

I'm okay thanks - took the trigger last night and due to go in for EC tomorrow. At the weekend's scan they thought I don't have a polyp. Basically they don't have a clue - they said that the lining can appear odd from the hormones, so they will have to just see on the day - by the time of transfer the effect of the drugs should have worn off enough for them to work out what's going on and they will make a decision then whether to freeze all or whether they can do a fresh transfer. So much of this is out of our hands, it's so frustrating. I've dropped off the cycle buddies page as I was finding it a bit stressful comparing myself to others or thinking about what could and could not go wrong. I'm still checking in to see how everyone is going but not regularly.

Teammonkey - downregs for 21 days is awful. You are an absolute trooper! Also - my clinic told me that it doesn't matter if you take your drugs <3 or >3 hours earlier on any given day, just so long as the times aren't miles apart. And obviously you have to take the trigger at the designated time.

Poppy78 - I also had friends staying with me, although they have left now. They had a 3 year old as I mentioned in an earlier post so it was a bit trying when I was feeling rubbish and just wanted to sit on the sofa and veg (and couldn't)!

I'm not following any of the "it starts with an egg" advice. And I'm drinking the occasional glass of wine. My clinic were very chilled about all of that - they said that most of the advice isn't evidence based and is just theory or conjecture, so if it makes you feel good following it or more in control then do so but that there's a risk it just stresses you out and trying to follow it puts too much pressure on you, and the added stress isn't good. I fall into the latter category. I eat a very healthy diet anyway, am very fit and healthy and I really don't think that storing my food in tupperware etc will make any difference other than just stress me out! Whether this works or not, it's not my fault and there's nothing I can do other than what I'm doing to achieve success. So I'm just going to try to continue to enjoy my life so far as I can!

xx


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi tentoes, good to hear from you, I really hope EC goes well for you today! I am really keeping my fx for you that it isn't a polp and you can go ahead this cycle, but I am a big believer that everything happens for a reason, so if it isn't this month, it will happen very soon! Please let us know how it goes and the outcome, I have my fingers tightly crossed for you! I agree regarding your frustration, you just lose control which is the hardest bit, as hard as it is you have to learn to live with this, as when you get your BFP I am confident you will! It only gets worse, waiting for those 9 months to pass, and every little twinge, test, scan have you worried but its all worth while I promise!! haha thanks I am trying to just suck it up, I am starting stims thursday now so that will be 25 flipping days!! The 'it starts with the egg' book is the only one I really take seriously due to the fact it is all evidence based, lots of studies to support everything she says, but I honestly think its only worth reading if you have difficulty with IVF, as a lot of ladies can go through this with success without all that. Think if you have low AMH or are older, or in ovarian failure or have severe pcos it is great. I was always told I could have the odd drink, but zita west says none, as does my acupuncturist, and I used that as my bible first cycle and as that worked I am sticking to it, but I dont think the odd drink would make a difference! I am just crazy, and ott worrier   definitely agree with a balance and enjoying your life! If this cycle fails I am having a few months off to drink, and enjoy my life again, im just praying that I wont need another go at this! xx

Poppy how are you feeing? xx

Scan today was a success, finally down regulated, perfectly happy with everything now, as this replicates my successful cycle so in my mind only can be a good thing right? Looking forward to stims on thursday, it spells the end of any social life as I will need to be home for DH to mix the drugs for me, as I cant go out and do that, but hopefully I wont be doing it too long, I was a fast responder last time and I am on a higher dose this time, so fx for me! xx


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hey team monkey I am doing well. Had my AF yesterday so feeling abit blah but happy I can start the preparatory month. Signing my consent forms today too  I know what you mean about social life I'm trying to get all my friends and family meet ups in the diary over the next few weeks because I know before I know it I will be on the stims. No one understands your whole life is on stand still when you are in the middle of the injections. It's annoying me that I keep getting invited to social events the week I am expecting to do the stims again. I also do the London prudential ride which seems it will fall a couple of days after my egg collection. 

I know all these things are not a big deal but just makes you wish you weren't having to do this and could get pregnant naturally. I really hope this is all worth it in the end. I know it will be.

Anyway enough of me moaning 

Team monkey goodnews you can start you injections! I really hope it's all smooth for you. Fingers crossed everything works out.

Tentoes - hang in there. You have had such a tough time and I know it's hard to keep positive. Sending you warm wishes and lots of love.

So sad about the tower of flats that has caught fire today. Thinking of all the victims.


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi poppy AF but at least she's arrived & you can get her out of the way! How soon will they start stimming you again? I think it's natural our mind wonders to the how amazing it must be to just fall pregnant! Mine does and if pisses me off  had dinner with a friend last night, I love her dearly, but it annoys me when she's talking about when to start trying for no 2.. she's very over weight, has a bad diet as does her hubby yet have a daughter naturally and I bet they do again. When I'm so healthy, as is hubby. Hard pill to swallow! X

Tentoes thinking of you xx

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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi poppy AF but at least she's arrived & you can get her out of the way! How soon will they start stimming you again? I think it's natural our mind wonders to the how amazing it must be to just fall pregnant! Mine does and if pisses me off  had dinner with a friend last night, I love her dearly, but it annoys me when she's talking about when to start trying for no 2.. she's very over weight, has a bad diet as does her hubby yet have a daughter naturally and I bet they do again. When I'm so healthy, as is hubby. Hard pill to swallow! X

Tentoes thinking of you xx

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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hi ladies, 

Teammonkey - hurrah for starting stimms!  Not that it's much fun, but you must be so glad to have started. Now I'm sure it's going to go really quickly for you.  And thanks so much for your kind words in your earlier message to me.  I'm not surprised having dinner with that friend was irritating you - would have irritated me, too!  I've heard lots of people swear by the book it starts with the egg, so I'm sure that its guidance is great.  But I think it's always a question of balancing the good you do by following the advice with the stress that's caused by following it, if that makes sense. For some people following the guidance isn't at all stressful and can even provide some structure and be of mental in addition to physical benefit.  But for me, I felt like my life was all too consumed by IVF for a while there, and I think that following too strictly the dietary advice etc would have just added to my stress and so I didn't.  To add to that, as you mention, given we have MF issues I could be more relaxed about things.  And I do naturally eat a very healthy diet and am very healthy. But I don't want you to think that I'm in any way knocking the advice given in It Starts with the Egg or generally or suggesting that others shouldn't follow it - I'm definitely not!!  It was just a personal choice that was right for me.  And in fact, I have a huge amount of admiration for people who can be more disciplined about all of this without letting that get to them the way it was getting to me.    

Poppy - great news you can start the prep month.  It'll also go quickly I'm sure!  I'm impressed you are doing the London prudential ride - I am still sore after my EC on Tuesday and feeling sorry for myself!  it took me about 20 minutes to walk the short 10 min walk from the tube to work today and I spent all yesterday just lying about at home!  

AFM, I don't have a polyp!!! They don't know what they saw on that scan - seemingly nothing as they have scanned me numerous times since, including a 3D scan, and are confident there is nothing there.  So I'm going ahead with a fresh transfer this cycle.  And the EC on Tuesday went really well! So I'm feeling happy.  For now - before the worry that exists at every stage of this process and that teammonkey talks about sets in!  They have provisionally booked me in for ET tomorrow but said that they are reasonably confident I can do a 5-day transfer on Sunday instead, but they'll give me a call in the morning tomorrow to update me on how the embryos are going and whether the transfer will be tomorrow or Sunday.  I'm trying to just take it as it comes and not get my hopes up - after the polyp scare I have been trying not to have expectations as to how things will go.  I'm still feeling sore from the EC, and do not like these Fragmin injections or progesterone suppositories one little bit!  But otherwise I'm okay.  

Thinking of you and hoping your treatment is going well. 
xx


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Well tentoes on a successful egg transfer! Gosh what a journey for you. Just take it easy for the next few days. I find these days really tough when you are just waiting for the clinic for news. Fingers crossed everything works out for you. Thinking of you! Xxx

Yes you are right about the bike ride. Not sure I'll be up for it. Like you I am trying to take every day as it comes and pay lip service to most things around July rather than jumping down hubby's throat all the time saying 'I'll be on injections then!' Which seems to be the common theme every time he mentions doing something  I can be a nightmare sometimes but the treatment is taking its toll. Although it's what I signed up for and I knew i would be going through swimming twice.

Team monkey - have you started your stimming? How's it going? Hope you are coping ok xxx


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Stimming not swimming


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

although sometimes it feels like swimming, doesn't it, and like you're barely keeping your head above water...!!


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

tentoes said:


> although sometimes it feels like swimming, doesn't it, and like you're barely keeping your head above water...!!


So true


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi ladies,
Poppy you sound like me getting narky about injecting & treatment  it's our right to, this a lot for us to go through! Stims are fine, worried after the first as had stitch all night, but went the other side last night & feel fine x

Tentoes so so pleased there was no polyp!! Any news on the embryo? Hoping for a 5 day transfer for you! X I agree with what you are saying, you need a balance! I'm the kind of person that needs to feel like I'm doing something to improve my chances & all this does that for me. Though I know the chances are it does nothing, it helps my PMA!! I didn't think for a minute you were knocking the advice hun, just trying to share all the knowledge I've gained, as I feel having a miscarriage really is the worst experience so anything we can do to reduce that happening I want to try share. So all of us have good experiences! Xx

Afm day 3 today of stims, I find this bit easy! It's something proactive I am getting closer & as a fast responder I'm hoping it won't go on too long. Scan on Tuesday, then Friday or Saturday with EC Monday or Tuesday I reckon! Got to study this morning which sucks, but I have a qualification which the deadline is the end of month, and want to be able to relax after EC the last week. Fx I can do it! Hope you're both ok, sending positives vibes to everyone xx

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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hi team monkey I totally agree some advice is better than none at all. I've had 2 failed ivf cycles and 3 miscarriages and if this current treatment doesn't work I've been recommended to do donor egg ivf cycle. And that's if I go through all of this again because it isn't easy. So I see it as my last chance really. And the book helped me understand whether I'm doing anything fundamentally wrong. I can't follow all the advice and to be honest I'm pleased to say I'm doing most of it because I generally have a healthy lifestyle. I never get stressed about what these types of advice books as I only do what I can do in the end anyway. The book speaks highly of the DHeA supplement whereas the internet had mixed reviews. I've started taking it and don't have any side effects so I'm glad I read the book. Whether it makes a difference of not who knows but I have hope!

I'm glad your stims are going well! I also find this stage the easiest as you are doing something, the waiting around for the results and the slight anxiety when going for scans is the most difficult. 

Hope you are all enjoying the sun girls. Thinking of you!!!❤


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hi Ladies, 

The ET went well - transferred just the one and we have 9 frozen.  Now the nervous wait ... I managed to slip and land on my bottom on the stairs when I got home and of course started stressing about that (even though I know, logically, that a simple and not very hard slip can't affect things ... can it?!).  And now have suddenly become completely paranoid about everything I do, eat, think ... so so much for me not getting too worked up re the advice! Hah! I even looked up plastic codes and threw out every plastic thing we had (turned out, not much - only one water bottle) that didn't fall into one of the safest plastic codes last night.  Otherwise, i'm feeling really good right now and very excited.  I know that there is as good a chance this won't work as that it will, but for now I'm enjoying being the closest to being pregnant I've ever been.  

I hope you're both well and coping with the heat! 

xx


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Tentoes amazing news, and 9 to freeze shows what great eggs you have. I'd be feeling excited right now you've got a great chance of this working. I'll be keeping my fx! Oh and we are loopy about little knocks etc. I was convinced hubby had destroyed the embryo when he went over a speed bump very hard last time  just be as you would if pregnant as technically you are right now  fx for lots of period type pains over the next few days.. I got that both times when pregnant xx

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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Teammonkey - I'm so glad to hear you say that as I have been getting period like pains and convinced myself it hasn't worked and AF was on her way... I've gone from being in a zen-like state yesterday to freaking out over everything.  Ah, the 2WW crazies ... not long until you'll be joining me in them now!


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Wow. Amazing news tentoes! Well done to you! I have my Fingers and toes crossed for you. Just try and relax for the next 2 weeks and enjoy the sunshine. The body is resilient so don't worry about a thing. Sending you lots of positive dust ❤❤❤❤


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Tentoes have a very good feeling, did from the start, male factor only you do find have good success rates. If you are getting AF pains, I remember getting them so bad at one point I was convinced AF was starting, but they def come and go, I also got stretching like pains, similar to AF but not quite the same, thats a very clear sign for me. FX tightly for you! Try not to freak out, easier said I know, but try and be positive and relax, have you got the zita west post ivf meditation? I believe that helped me relax, worth a try. My clinic said to me this morning, just thing of the embryo as a seed being put in a jam sandwich, nothing you do will affect it, so dont worry, if it is going to stick it will stick,good way to look at things! Just remember you stayed relaxed during your treatment and everything turned out so well, so hold onto that mantra xx

Poppy hope you are getting on ok! xx

AFM had my first scan today, I am day 5 of stims, I have 16 follicles around 8-10mm, so a way to go yet, but was happy for day 5, and hoping to be having EC Monday, fx!


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Thanks teammonkey - hearing that has really cheered me up - it's been a bit of a low day.  I have bought a post IVF meditation CD - not the Zita West one but another one which I'll try tonight.  Also exciting that you're at day 5 of stimms and that you have 16 good sized follicles!  Monday is going to come around really quickly! 

Poppy - thanks very much for your message.  I guess the upside of still being in the preparatory month is it hopefully means you're getting to enjoy this nice weather, without being all bloated from the stimms. 

Am thinking of you both and sending lots of positive thoughts xx


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

I'm good thank you ladies. Just enjoying the sun and trying not to say the cliche things such as it's too hot! And he in enjoying me drug free few weeks. I get my meds tomorrow and I'm feeling abit gutted about it all especially when they took my credit card details for payment. Just started thinking am I doing the right thing. But I can feel the effects of the DHEA tablets as I have more energy and slight irritated. But is that me normally now not sure 

Hopefully this will make a difference and this time I get more embryos. This is my last with my own eggs so I have to keep positive.

Brilliant news team monkey that your scan went well!  keep it up!

Keep me posted on everything xxx


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hello ladies, I'm just checking in. I hope all is going well! I started my DR yesterday and have been feeling really emotional 

Hope everyone is well?


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

hello, 

Poppy - it's great that you've started again!  That seems to have come around really quickly.  I'm not surprised you're feeling emotional though - even without the drugs it is a lot for your body to go through in a short space of time.  And your hormones will be up and down still from the last round and then add this on top of it.  You're one tough lady!! I don't think I could handle doing 2 rounds back-to-back the way you have. 

I've been lousy to be honest.  I came down with mild OHSS 5 days after ET and at the end of last week. Today is my first day back at work after trying to juggle work from home over the last week.  I've juggled it very badly, but for various reasons couldn't simply take sick leave.  Although last Friday and over the weekend through to Monday I couldn't work at all, or even move, i was in so much pain.  I haven't had to go into hospital - they checked me out and said I could self-manage at home as there wasn't too much fluid leaked into my stomach and my blood work showed kidneys etc weren't affected.  Things started to improve from Tuesday and since then I have just been bloated and getting intermittent tummy cramps.  But over the weekend it was just ghastly.  I've never been in such pain.  The doctors were also pretty unsympathetic which didn't help things.  They just sort of said: yes, this can happen, live with it. And we have no idea when it will go away - tough! 

Today I still feel a bit rubbish but much better, and I couldn't stay away from work for various reasons. I've found the one work dress I own that sort of hides my tummy.  I can't fit into any of my pencil skirts or suits. I know, the latter is the least of my problems.  But I feel very self-conscious even in this dress - I look pregnant. 

My OTD is Sunday, 14dp5dt.  I am thinking of doing a FR test tomorrow am so I can prepare myself if the news is bad, which I expect it will be - OHSS apparently gets worse, not better, if you're pregnant.  So maybe it was a CP that caused it to flare up after ET or just one of these weird things, but I'm not feeling at all hopeful about the result.  And feeling pretty down about that after suffering through all the pain and indignity of OHSS.  My husband has been lovely - force feeding me water and protein even when I really didn't feel like it.  It's been pretty tough on him, too, seeing me like this and feeling responsible (give we have MF infertility).  I'm not sure where we go from here.  We still have another round on the NHS, but the waiting list even once you are in the system for round two is really long - looking at about 7 months! We could go private and do a FET or do the wait.  I don't know yet. Whatever we do we're going to need a break so that I can recover, as I feel pretty physically and mentally broken right now. 

Anyway, hope you ladies are okay.  Teammonkey - you must have had or be about to have EC now?  I hope it went really well for you xx


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Poppy wow thats come around fast, I agree you are flipping amazing lady doing this again so quickly!

Tentoes flipping heck you have had a rough ride! I really hope when you test it surprises you and is good news, it could be after all ohss is stimulated with hcg. I would test if I was you, nothing worse than testing the day before work. 

AFM had ec yesterday, was feeling very happy but today the news was not what I had hoped. Throughout this I have tried keeping grounded not expecting great things, but with 22 eggs I expected to have 10 embryos, didnt seem a big hope.. Well only 13 were mature, which the embryologist said is not higher than average as they were expecting 15 and the extra 7 were small immature follicles. But last cycle we had 100% fertilisation this time 6 out of 13, so this has gutted me, she mentioned sperm quality being low, but havent said how low? I darent ask as I cant handle any more factors to worry about. I just feel this new clinic increased my stim dose, stimulated me longer and I am in a lot of discomfort so fear they have pushed me too far and sacrificed quality for quantity. we only got 6 last time, but only had 9 eggs and all fertilised, so felt positive, this time I am feeling very negative. Especially considering this cost us £8-9K and was hoping for at least a couple of frosties as a back up. In all honesty I dont know if this fails if I have it in me to try again, we both did the diet, supplements etc for months, moved to a clinic with exceptional results, and I dont know if I can do more of this... Sorry for the negative post, its a tough day!


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

teammonkey - I'm sorry to hear that.  I completely understand why you're feeling down, especially because with 22 eggs I imagine that you're feeling absolutely awful today.  And you've not had an easy ride either, having been stuck on DR for ages.  I think the tougher the ride is, perhaps our expectations also rise - or at least mine do - that feeling of "I've put myself through so much, so it's blo*dy unfair if it doesn't work the way it should".  So you're completely entitled to feel down right now.  But, objectively, 6 to fertilise is still a really good result.  Hopefully those 6 will be fabulous strong embryos so you will still get some frosties as a back up.  Or, even if not, one of those will be "the one" who in a year's time from now you'll be looking at, having forgotten about all this horror.  But for now at least if I were you I'd try not to think too much about the future but just focus on yourself and recovering from the EC.  Sounds like a good book or some trashy movies are in order. xx


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Thanks tentoes, think I needed that! We have had a tough ride havent we? I hope for both of us it works out! I am currently completing the last few bits of my masters, so not exactly taking it easy! But I will very shortly have submitted it and this afternoon I will be watching a movie! I have been living off toast the past 2 days, I just dont care right now about eating the right thing, belly is swollen, so I may aswell indulge! I dont think I will wearing a bikini on my holiday next weekend! Please update us when you do a test xx


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hi ladies, 

Teammonkey - are you feeling any better today?  

I did a HPT this morning - positive! I'm cautiously happy.  My husband has told me I have to just relax and enjoy the fact we're "not out of the game" but I've seen too much on this forum about what can go wrong, it's hard not to worry it might be a CP or that i might miscarry!!  I know I know -  

x


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Tentoes I didn't want to get your hopes up ohss is common when you get pregnant due to the hcg! So pleased for you!!! Agree take it a step at a time, but for now enjoy you are pregnant!!!!!! Is today otd? 
I got a lot worse yesterday afternoon with a very swollen abdomen, not as bad today, but think I'm in for a tough weekend! Been ramming the protein & water down my throat 

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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Thanks Teammonkey!  Today is 12dp5dt - one nurse I spoke to told me that 16 days post EC was OTD and another nurse (and the same clinic) said it's 14 days post ET, regardless of whether it's a 3 day or 5 day transfer! So according to one nurse, yesterday was OTD and according to another Sunday is OTD.  That's why i decided to do it this morning - I really thought it was going to be negative as the OHSS is getting better not worse and thought I needed a few days to deal with the news.  Really didn't expect to see two strong lines there!  I'll redo it on Sunday.  I thought I'd be really happy but now I'm just terrified it'll turn into a CP or something will go wrong.  the worry never stops! And I don't think my clinic does anything from now until 7 - 8 weeks when you go in for a scan. No bloods or anything.  

Poor you re the the swollen abdomen.  One of the nurses was explaining to me why the more eggs you have collected the worse you feel - for each follicle they have to pierce the ovary to retrieve the egg, so if you've got 3 follicles your ovaries are being pierced 3 times and if 22 follicles then you're ovaries have basically been treated like pin cushions. So I'm not surprised you feel awful.  i felt pretty rubbish after 19 eggs being collected.  Yep - water and protein.  I'm still having copious amounts of both.  Someone on this forum I saw also mentioned mint tea and I've been drinking that too.  Makes a change from the water.  xx


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Tentoes - that's great news!!!! I'm so pleased for you especially after everything you have been through. Definitely enjoy this moment but you are right to be cautious. Atleast you can smile through the tough moments in the day now knowing something good may come out of this. But I totally understated how you feel. You have such a tough ride. Just makes me think there is no one that says they had ivf and it was all straight forward. It's definitely a rollercoaster which only if you have been through can you understand. Hang in there. What are your next steps at clinic. So they don't do a blood test? Maybe you could go to your gp?

Team monkey - what a journey you have had too. Gosh it must be so hard especially as you have had the similar results from lower quantity of eggs. Try and keep positive! I know it's easier said than done. I was going crazy looking at my previous charting which was 4 years old and I have been ill in between and gotten older so ofcourse my results were going to be lower but I still had hope that the body will perform this miracle due to the fact I was off work and the diet and supplements. But I then thought of those that don't even get this far and that was the only way I could get over the sadness I felt. Try and concentrate on the 6 that have fertilised because that is so good. I always find the clinic can be so harsh at these times and not explain things too well and the fact you are hormonal adds to all the anxiety you are feeling. Hang in there. And keep doing what you are doing.

Thinking of both of you.

Thanks so much for your support both of you. I've been feeling low these last few days and I don't know whether it's the DR or I'm fed up of the whole process. I have a wedding this week so that should keep me occupied and I'm doing a lot of freelancing so that's keeping me busy which is good. I just wish o was free like a bird sometimes with no fertility worries or anxieties. We will get there ladies. X have a lovely wkd


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Tentoes how is everything? Still going well I hope? Fx! Just shows your body is handling the ohss well! Thing is you will worry about everything for the next 9 months! Just focus on each step, getting to the first scan, big step! Really hoping it all goes well for you! Having experienced both positive & negative outcome of pregnancy I know how hard this is. Just have faith! Oh and my clinic didn't do bloods either, I'd recommend the clear blue in a weeks time as that test has number of weeks. Should progress. I personally think the bloods just give you more to worry about x

Poppy thank you, you have such strength and positivity which really helps me see the positives. I'm feeling pretty rotten, but good news it's day 3, & the clinic didn't call so it's a 5 day transfer. Shocked as expected bad news! The dr made me feel low, you've no oestrogen to pick you up remember! I hated it so much I don't think I could do DR again. I understand what you mean about being free. When we had the call & I was weighing up my next move if this fails. Do I go abroad for treatment, or just stop now! I feel my life is a shadow of its former self, which makes me sad. It's so tough xx

Afm yesterday the ohss kicked in quite badly, had very swollen belly, terrible wind which was making my ovaries kill, not fun! I think having my son alone all day made me poorly as I needed to rest. So today hubby has taken him out whilst I rest & im on electrolytes and protein! No weight gain actually dropped a kilo from day before so it seems to be settling now! I'm worrying about transfer incase it makes me poorly as I fly to Mallorca on Saturday.. think I'm just going to have to see how I feel by Monday xx


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hey ladies, 

Teammonkey, I think that today must be ET day? Good luck! Will be thinking of you. 

I'm feeling much, much better - the OHSS has really died down.  I even managed to walk into work today (although now feel totally shattered!).  But I am already anxious about the next step and hoping this is going to stick.  Far too anxious really. 

xx


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hey tentoes!
God I've had a traumatic & eventful few days! So got mild ohss which wasn't bloody mild  by Sunday was on the mend! Then got an update on the embryos, gutted is the biggest understatement.. day 4 best one was 10 cells, and not great quality, best was b, was shocked as last cycle was text book & all went to blast. Cried so much as knew it was unlikely to work unless a miracle happened. I know sperm affect fertilisation & development from day 3, so this was classic sperm issues. Decided unless I had an early blast I wasn't going ahead with transfer, just seemed pointless torture. By 8am Monday got the call we had 1 early blast & 2 close to blast, grade c. So went in at 10:30 at this stage the early blast was now more advanced & a grade b, and we had a grade c early blast. Embryologist said as they were developing well she was happy, & thought they stood a good chance. 40/50% odds. We had both transferred. I honestly don't see us getting pregnant! Hubby does which adds pressure, he's so optimistic! But it's turned out better than it seemed, so just have to hope for the best! Isn't this all a massive head ****? No other polite was to put it 

Glad you're feeling better! You're bound to feel anxious, I hope it's a sticky one. No reason it won't work! When is your scan? X

Poppy how are you doing? X

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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Teammonkey - poor you! You have my full sympathy on the OHSS - I now know what it's like!! It's totally different to the bloating and cramping that is expected after EC but is just a whole world of pain.  When I started reading your message I was thinking that your embryo news sounded bad but in fact, it all sounds as though it is really positive in the end - you've ended up with two good blasts and really great odds.  It sounds as though there is lots to be positive about there! Of course, the odds don't mean much in the end - if you're not pregnant then knowing there was only a 50% chance that you wouldn't be is pretty cold comfort. So you don't want to get too hung up on them.  But still, that sounds all really positive to me.  I'm optimistic for you too and sending lots of positive vibes.  I had no idea they were able to identify whether issues were caused by sperm or egg based on what day they happen - that's amazing.  

I'm feeling so much better - back to myself again (which in itself is kinda scary - I keep wondering if I shouldn't be feeling worse not better. I need to stop overthinking and second-guessing it given there is NOTHING I can do).  My scan isn't until 21st which seems like an absolute age away.  I'm trying as hard as I can not to think about it - I'm doing all the right things but just trying not to get too attached to being pregnant in case this one doesn't work out.  Although of course that won't protect me from heartbreak if this one doesn't work out.  But I am terrified of losing it. All the freaking time. Do you think non-IVF pregnancies are this scary, or is it just a result of all we go through to get here? 

Poppy - hope you're doing well! It's stinking hot in London and I hope you're making the most of the warm weather while you can - swimming and doing all those things post EC will be forbidden to you! 

xx


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi tentoes, 
Thank you! It definitely ended more positive, I think the last 2 times I felt quite confident due to them being hatched blast, this time not hatching & lower grade I'm not feeling confident. I keep reminding myself it's all silly, I know people who've had numerous top grade embryos and didn't get pregnant & friends with low grade blasts who did. I'm kind of just trying to pretend it's not happening, keeping busy. What will be will be! I know the sperm thing is crazy! I remember feeling relieved about that last time, as ours went to blast no issue, and had 100% fertilisation, but sperm does vary so much from sample to sample! Really is luck of the draw for us poor ladies 
So pleased to hear you're feeling better! In my first pregnancy I felt fine until I was 10 weeks, I remember after my scan at 8 weeks saying to the nurse I'm fine, no sickness, she said be prepared it could start.. and it did! So enjoy it while it lasts! Though I know it definitely gives you peace of mind getting symptoms! It's def us ivf ladies who are like this, none of my friends who had natural pregnancies were. For me I felt during pregnancy if was so precious, if anything happens we don't know we can achieve this again. That knowledge definitely makes us anxious & protective! I found it helpful to just focus on each step. Getting to the scan! Then 12 weeks, then once at 20 weeks I did relax. I was still a nutcase worrying about movements! 

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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hello ladies how are you all getting on? 

Just finished my DR on Saturday and AF has arrived on time today! So hopefully I have a scan tomorrow or Thursday and start my stims on Friday.

Would be great to hear from you all xxxx


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hi Poppy, 

It's great to hear from you.  Stims already - that has come around really quickly, which I'll bet you're pleased about!  How are you feeling? 

I'm okay.  Waiting very, very anxiously for my first scan Friday week to make sure there is still an embryo there and it's developing.  I am far too anxious about it and have convinced myself something is wrong.  I think that the whole IVF process, the stress of it all (and managing it on top of trying to work full time and also trying to maintain an ordinary life without telling the whole world) and then getting sick with OHSS ... it just seems to have sapped me of my usual coping mechanisms and I am feeling extremely anxious and loopy at the moment.  I think i should really look into finding someone to speak to as it's not healthy.  But anyway, you don't need me being a downer!  Other than that I'm fine.  Glad that after the torrential rain yesterday the sun is finally shining and looks like it will for the rest of the week.  I'm going to the Citadel festival Sunday so am looking forward to that, although going to it stone cold sober will be a bit weird.  And I'm hanging out for a holiday in August! A bit of sun and the beach will be good! 

Hope you're coping okay.  And it's great news you're starting on the stims - the rest of the time will fly by for you I hope! x


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hi tentoes, good to hear from you!!!

Omg I feel exactly the same as you! It's like there is a monster inside you that is constantly waiting to erupt . Poor hubby is getting it. Especially yesterday as I was hormonal with monthly cramps at large. There is a part of me that thinks this whole thing is a waste of time and it's not going to work. My optimism is so low right now and I'm just going through the motions.

My chances are so low so the writing is on the wall. The fact I only have 2 viable embryos and they ideally need another 4 from this cycle doesn't fill me with hope. But I also know these are normal thoughts to process as I can't walk around in the clouds and keep thinking it will work. This will be closure with my own eggs and when I'm old and grey I will never regret that I didn't try with my own eggs. I still know there is a small chance that this can work and I'm holding onto that.

So all your thoughts are normal and juggling life and IVF is the most difficult thing you will have to face. I'm sure looking after the baby will be easier be used at least you will be off work. Hang in there! Hopefully work is also taking your mind off things. Thinking of you!

I've just had my baseline scan so I'm all good to go to start stims tomorrow. Weird looking forward to it!

Team monkey hope you are doing well?

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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

poppy - the monster description is a good one!  I've been a nightmare to be around lately. 

Sorry to hear about the low optimism.  I don't know what to say - even though I've had a BFP and know I should be grateful I'm not feeling optimistic either about this all working and so wish I had some words to pep you up but don't right now (i really need to stop reading depressing miscarriage stories online...).  But I guess you've just got to give it a go and hope for the best.  I'll be rooting for you! 

I don't know about you, but I think the really hard thing for me is that I can't keep all the kids/fertility stuff in perspective.  Before starting treatment, my husband and I said that we would be happy without children, that like you we didn't want to be old and grey and regret that we never tried.  But we were also really happy with our lives.  We have great jobs, travel lots, love eating out, going out and listening to music etc, exercise.  But then as soon as you start treatment all that stops - I feel like from the get-go I've been poorly performing at work and not taking on as much as I would, the travel has stopped, exercise has stopped and often I've felt too lousy to go out anywhere or given I'm not drinking have decided it's all too hard to go out and have to make up excuses.  My life has completely changed in the last three months.  Which makes it very hard to remind myself that if it doesn't all work out it's not the end of the world - that we have this great life that we will go back to.  i find that even if I'm feeling pessimistic about this all working, reminding myself that it's not the end of the world if it doesn't does help.  xx 

xx


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Yes tentoes you are so right, this whole IVF journey consumes you like the plague and from a carefree couple you become a person that is constantly thinking about appts, dates, injections, scans, and fertility stuff!

Like you me and hubby are so happy in our life love travelling, exercise, food and having the occasional drink . What more can you ask from life. It's just the thought of never having children that scares me and I think really will I still be this happy in 10 years time. So the IVF journey commences and you become this fretful person. Hubby pretty much keeps the same mindset whereas you become this (esp in my case) grumpy, spotty, bloaty hormonal person.   that has no energy to do anything. Lol

Can you believe yesterday my first day of monthly hubby was suggesting a bike ride. Then he started talking about booking holidays. All I can think about is how I will get through the next week. Lol. It's not his fault though. It's this whole process that takes over you. The good thing is the weather is good and being in London helps. The buzzyness distracts me. Plus I know what I'm getting myself in for this time round.

I really hope you are feeling better and it's good to know there is someone who is feeling the same as you. You need a certain strength with IVF and I believe if you have endured this then you can handle anything in life! Xxx

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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Hi tentoes/Poppy,
Sorry I've been missing, I've been in Mallorca for a week during my 2ww! I couldn't have picked a worse week, as got mild ohss! Felt awful, still look around 6 months pregnant & nearly ended up in hospital over there but luckily I managed to speak to my consultant and he assured me, then symptoms dropped a bit. As I was struggling to breathe from the constriction around my ribs. Just have a very swollen  belly & pains in my tummy now. But good news I got my bfp! It's very different this time, I haven't got as excited after my miscarriage. I think if I can get to 6 weeks that will help a bit as miscarried at 5 weeks last time. 

How are you both? I can relate to what you are both saying. Different scenarios but hard to stay positive in both! And it's so hard to think of carrying on life after going through this without children. I am blessed to have my miracle baby, but as soon as I got back on this train and had that miscarriage I just knew how much I wanted to give him the experience of a sibling. Infertility at all levels is flipping horrid xx


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Oh no team monkey. That's such a terrifying experience you had. Gosh feeling like that when you are not in your home safe environment must be the worse thing ever. So glad you are feeling abit better now and good news on the bfp! I knows it's hard to keep positive but take in the good news and try and isolate it from your mc. Every egg is different remember xxx take care and rest

Afm - I'm on my 3rd day of injections and feeling ok. Not sleeping well again and my thrush seems to have got worse and keeping me up at night. I have my scan tomorrow so will speak to them about it. I really hope it's not affecting anything  on top of everything else to deal can't believe I have to deal with thrush  been away for the wkd so that was nice but such a faff carrying around the injections. Back home now so that's good xxx

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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Thanks Poppy it's so hard. I wasn't prepared for how anxious the miscarriage would make me. I'm scared to hope, as I was so disappointed last time. But a positive is I started bleeding by this time and no bad signs so that's positive! Just praying this is our time! After the miscarriage, then fresh cycle with ohss I really am not sure I can do this again. Fx I don't have to!
Oh you poor thing getting thrush! I had it on my FET, and I've never seen anything as aggressive, the meds must have aggravated it! The canestan worked for me! Xx


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hi ladies, 

Teammonkey - congratulations - that's great news!  I know what you mean about the anxiety though.  After everything we've been through I am just so terrified something will go wrong.  I've been avoiding going on this site as I think all the very sad stories others have of things that have gone wrong aren't helping my worry! 

Poppy - poor you with the thrush.  My clinic did warn that it can happen with all the meds when I was cycling, and also said that if it does canestan is fine to use. But if that doesn't work, have a chat to your GP - there is tougher stuff you can use that might be fine to take along with the IVF drugs.  You don't want to be not sleeping and dealing with this on top of everything else! 

xx


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hang in there team monkey. Ofcourse your past experience is going to make you anxious. I don't think we will ever be able to have a 'normal' pregnancy' after the trauma we have been put through. The good thing you will have your scan soon and that will give you more hope. That's all we got really. Xx when is your scan?
Such brilliant news that you are not bleeding. &#129310;

Afm - I'm sleeping better now so hoorah to that. But I'm feeling a lot lower this cycle and keep crying randomly. I guess it's hit me alittle that this is it. Just have to keep positive and going with the process. I'm also thinking maybe it is a good thing that I'm more emotional. That's got to be the drugs right as generally I'm a lot more stable. Maybe it's a good sign. My thrush is clearing so that's so good! I suppose it's the monotony of it all. I've been trying to keep distracted though which is good. Doing some work for a charity and doing abit of freelance work keeps the dark thoughts away &#129315;&#129315;&#129315;

Tentoes - how you getting on?

I hope you are both enjoying the weather 

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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Thank you tentoes! I'm walking around wearing baggy trousers or dresses to keep the air flowing low and it seems to have helped. It was a nightmare. Especially at night but I'm hoping the worst of it was over. I was fearing it would impact the treatment but I don't  think that is a risk.

Hope you are good xxx


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Morning ladies!
Tentoes can't be long until your scan? I understand you avoiding this site, considering it myself it's hard because it's a nice support network, but there are a lot of early losses which only increases worry and anxiety! 

Poppy thanks, makes me feel less crazy! You're right anxiety is normal after what we've been through.  Well my proper scan is 2 weeks tomorrow, but I have a scan today as my ohss is still bad so the clinic are scanning me and I should see a sac, as I had a scan at 5 weeks last time. Glad you're sleeping better! Glad you're feeling better about things. Hope you can keep busy it definitely helps! X

Scan today due to my ohss but I'm aware at the stage there should be a sac so I'm nervous, thinking what if there's not. I also was scanned this exact day in my last pregnancy and miscarried shortly after so a scary day for me. Just hoping it's good news xx


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

teammonkey said:


> Morning ladies!
> Tentoes can't be long until your scan? I understand you avoiding this site, considering it myself it's hard because it's a nice support network, but there are a lot of early losses which only increases worry and anxiety!
> 
> Poppy thanks, makes me feel less crazy! You're right anxiety is normal after what we've been through. Well my proper scan is 2 weeks tomorrow, but I have a scan today as my ohss is still bad so the clinic are scanning me and I should see a sac, as I had a scan at 5 weeks last time. Glad you're sleeping better! Glad you're feeling better about things. Hope you can keep busy it definitely helps! X
> ...


Ahthinking of you team monkey! Good luck with the scan xxxxx

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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Good luck Teammonkey - let us know how the scan goes!

My scan is Friday.  I'm currently 7+1.  My clinic doesn't do bloods or anything, so the only confirmation I've had has been by way of home pregnancy tests.  I did have a scan to check on the OHSS but that was a few days before the pregnancy test at 14p5dt, so they wouldn't have been able to see anything and weren't looking for anything in any event - just looking at the fluid retention.  And they were happy it was going down enough they haven't seen me since.  The OHSS symptoms have definitely subsided - I'm looking forward to hearing on Friday whether I'm now cleared to get back to at least doing some light exercise (jogging and light weights) as I'm still barred from that, which is driving me crazy.  Not that I have much energy at the moment, I'm always so tired. 

The absence of symptoms other than tiredness (which could be from stress or all sorts of things) is worrying me.  I'm more anxious now than I was during the 2ww, I guess because now I feel I have something to lose.  And every time I go onto this site I hear about early pregnancy losses, including mmc's, which is what I've convinced myself they are going to see on the scan.  I feel guilty expressing these feelings, particularly given I know what a fortunate position I'm in to have got that bFP.  So that's the other reason I havent been on this site much - I don't feel like I have a right anymore to complain and don't want to upset others (including you, Poppy) who don't yet have that BFP.  But I hope you do know that I'm totally rooting for you and hoping that you do get that BFP this time.


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Ah tentoes it's totally understandable what you are feeling and going through and totally normal. Don't feel guilty about these thoughts. Speaking to you guys gives me hope that their is light at the end of this very dark tunnel and I enjoy ready the good news. But yes the scary stories do not help with the anxiety so best to also keep yourself distracted. 

The fact we can't exercise is a total nuisance and adds to the frustration. It's like you are sitting there on show at your worst for everyone to point the finger at. I'm even feeling anxious about my mother in law popping over (who totally knows what I'm going through) but I just don't feel up for any conversation. So I'm keeping my support network even smaller this time round just to reduce the stress.

Afm - I've just had my 6 day scan today and everything is progressing as planned. So that's good news. I'm abit bloaty and miserable but other than I getting through it all! Xxxx


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Thanks Poppy! 

Good news that all is progressing as planned.  The last 6 days seem to have gone really quickly! 

I'm keeping myself occupied - busy with work and off to see a play tonight (hoping I can stay awake!).  I think maybe my anxiety is also caused by all the hormones at the moment.  It's not fun, any of it!  

Poppy - totally understand what you mean regarding not being up for any conversation.  I am finding that my focus has just been on IVF and getting through it lately - anything that takes additional energy from me just feels like too much.  Even with my friends who know, sometimes I just can't be bothered putting on a happy face.  And they aren't interested in hearing about my worries.  Plus, I've realised the downside of telling my close friends about IVF is that they all now want to now the result.  A lot of them see it as a means to an end without realising at all how awful and stressful it's been.  And now they want to know the end result.  But in case everything goes wrong I really want to keep it all to myself for a while.  So I've been keeping my social circle really small.


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Poppy amazing news regarding the scan!! I bet the next few days will fly by xx

Tentoes I get exactly how you feel. It's the most anxious time, sadly miscarriages are most common before 6 weeks. Once baby has a heart beat it's a lot less likely! And missed miscarriages are awful, and this site does make it seem common, but in fact it's something like 1-2% of miscarriages. So please don't fear the worse. Friday cannot come fast enough hey!! I'm hoping for a lovely baby with a nice fast heartbeat!!! Whose clearing you for exercise your gp or the clinic? My ovaries are so large I know I won't be doing any for ages! Oh and don't worry about your lack of symptoms, I didn't have any with Ted until I was 10 weeks! 

Afm scan yesterday went well, my ovaries are huge & kissing, lots of free fluid around them. They've taken blood to check my electrolyte levels and kidney and liver function. But I'm feeling a bit better regarding swelling now, it's just the ovary pain which I'll just have to handle! She had a little look at my lining but wouldn't look closely which was disappointing! But did show me 2 little white dots, she said looks like both could have implanted! Freaking out a little, but will just have to wait for 2 weeks for my scan!!


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Thanks Teammonkey, that's really comforting to hear.  So exciting re your scan! Glad to hear it went well although not happy to hear you are still so swollen. How do you feel - are you still in pain?

It's the clinic/hospital (UCHL) who are doing the scan tomorrow and can hopefully clear me - when I got my last scan just over three weeks ago there was still a lot of fluid and they were really swollen and I was told to continue taking it easy. But I do feel heaps better now - I am still bloated and feel weird but I have no idea whether that is pregnancy or the OHSS.  

The OHSS was awful - i have just never experienced pain like it.  For days every time I had to go to the loo I would sit on the loo actually weeping because it was so painful.  And at its worst I really thought I might be dying!  It is nothing like that now, thank god.  Urgh - the things we put ourselves through, huh? If we aren't filling ourselves artificially with hormones, lying on tables with our legs spread and having probes put up there, having needles jabbed into us ... we are all such troopers, at every stage of this whole process! I don't think IVF women get nearly enough credit and acknowledgement for all that we out up with!! 

Poppy - hope you are okay and have some nice things planned this weekend to distract you.  Sadly the weather looks like it is going to stay pretty rubbish for a few days now.


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Tentoes good luck today! Please let us know how you get on!! You should see a beautiful heartbeat! Xx


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Happy to say that despite my insane nerves the scan went well - saw the little heartbeat and it is measuring the right size! Going to save the excitement till we pass 12 weeks but still, at least it hasn't gone wrong yet! Ovaries are still enormous and was told I am likely going to have to wait another 5 or more weeks to be okay for exercise! The Dr told me I would probably find that if I did anything high intensity now it would hurt anyway. I have to say - my ovaries are aching after the scan today and having that wand poking around in there!

I hope you ladies have lovely weekends. X


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Tentoes I'm so happy for you!! I understand your reluctance to get excited, but remember the baby is past the highest risk phase! It will all go well & you will soon be at your 12 week stage!! 
I've convinced myself something's gone wrong, my mind is in overdrive! Keep telling myself symptoms come and go, I've read it on here yet my brain is clearly crazy 

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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Tentoes - that great news! Enjoy this moment but understand you are cautious! Such amazing news though xxxxx with all the pain we go through it truelly does feel like a miracle when I hear good news like this xxx

Team monkey - good it new the ohss is clearing. I know it must be awful. I had it slightly on my first ivf attempt and it t really wasn't pleasant. And made me think why women put themselves through this torture. No one will understand unless they have been through it. I always hope when I do have my baby my life will be bliss because of everything I have been though - no sleepless nights etc  well one can dream of that miracle . Such good news that they saw 2 dots. That's something to focus on. Try not to worry about the symptoms they do come and go xxx

Afm- just got the wkd to get through! Injections are going well and I'm sleeping so much this time which is brill and hopefully it means my body is having more of a chance to work on that follicle growth. Scan today was ok. I'm trying to tune out what the doc says regarding size and numbers as I know that only adds to the anxiety. Last scan on Sunday before trigger injection. Really am so bored of all of this now and want my life back. All my family are having a get together but I'm not able to go so feel so restricted. Instead my hubby has invited his mum and dad over today so I'm like really!? I know it's the hormones talking as I don't mind them coming really. I just don't have anything to say to anyone  with your siblings you just sit there grumpy and spotty and they won't say a thing.lol

Anyway have a lovely wkd ladies .xxxx lots of rest and TLC . I'll keep you posted about Sunday xxxx

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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Thanks both! Really lovely of both of you! 

Poppy - that is great that it isn't long now and you're sleeping.  Do let us know how it goes! Really have fingers and toes crossed that you have a fab cycle and the testing on your embies goes well.  I wish we had had ours tested now - given I was NHS they didn't offer and I didn't even think about asking if I could pay for that add on.  Might have helped my miscarriage fears. 

At least the weather this weekend is rubbish and so pretty good for sitting around and doing very little!  So other than entertaining the inlaws hopefully you can squeeze in lots of relaxing time. 

I didn't even ask the drs and they didn't tell me how many follicles I had etc during stimms. Figured I couldn't change it and it would either just get my expectations up or depress me, so remained blissfully ignorant, which worked for me.  

Teammonkey - symptoms really do come and go! So try not to worry (easier said than done, and I'm a great one to talk but I'm much better at giving than taking advice!). I have a good feeling all is going to be fine!  I'm fine - just super tired. And my blood pressure has dropped very low so I have been having lightheaded spells.  Normally fine - just a bit dizzy when I get up.  But I've had one instance of really bad vertigo and couldn't even walk and felt really sick from it. It lasted a good two hours - I had to get my husband to collect me from work and help me into a cab and come home with me.  It was quite scary.  Been told it is normal and my mum suffered the same.  No morning sickness. 

Anyway, I have promised my husband that for this weekend at least I won't worry, won't google and will enjoy the moment and that we have had some good news.  So I better go and do just that! We have some friends coming around for lunch tomorrow - organised it about 3 months ago, and now wish we hadn't.  The husband of one of these friends is a total pain and know-it-all - one of the most obnoxious people I have ever met.  She is lovely and it is a source of amazement to everyone who knows them that she puts up with him, he really is that bad.  I don't know how I will survive the lunch without booze!!! 

Enjoy your weekends xx


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hello ladies! Nice to hear from you both. And hope you had a good wkd.

Tentoes - gosh I suffer from vertigo so I know it's a scary thing when it happens. I hope you are doing ok!

You are so right about not the numbers I just look away and try and think about other things. So much better for the anxiety levels!

I did my trigger injection yesterday and egg collection is on Tuesday so fingers cross I have some more good eggs &#129310;

I had a really stressful day yesterday where I checked my medicine in the morning and found I didn't have enough medication for the trigger injection. It turned out the clinic had made a mistake on the prescription. As I always check the box against the prescription and everything was ticked off. Lucky I had vaguely remembered the discussion with the consultant where she had said they will increase the trigger injection dose in this cycle. My mind is so fuzzy so I wasn't sure if I was just going abit loopy. After lots of phonecalls and running around I got my meds but it was the stress I didn't need! And all I kept thinking was imagine i had realised at the time of the trigger injection. Everything would have got messed up.

I had abit of a melt down because everything got to me. Just can't believe how you have to keep ontop of everything even the mistakes the clinic make. They don't realise this is your livelihood 

I'm feeling better now but it all got to me! Really getting so bored of all of this.

I hope everyone is doing good and better than me lol xxx

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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hi Poppy, 

How did you go with the EC yesterday?  I hope it went really well and that you're recovering okay.  And I hope you're feeling better.  It's all so tough - you really are so brave to do two back-to-back rounds. 

Teammonkey - how are you getting on? 

x


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Poppy thinking of you! Hope EC went well, let us know. I agree you are such a strong lady, so much admiration for you doing 2 back to back cycles  

Tentoes thanks for asking, I am ok! Sickness kicked in this morning, very much like it was with my son. Scanis a week tomorrow, keeping worrying it will be bad news, Moved house on monday too so its been manic! 

How are you? Coping ok with everything? xx


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

teammonkey - moving house - urgh, I don't know how you can do that right now!  I'm sure everything will be completely fine at your scan. But I know the anxiety very well!  

AFM - I'm struggling to get through an ordinary day at work. No sickness, but ridiculously tired.  "Tired" isn't an accurate description - it's not like normal tiredness, it's like I've been drugged.  I'm really struggling.  No more attacks of vertigo but still feeling quite lightheaded when I get up from sitting down etc.  Otherwise I'm fine.  The first scan was really helpful in reassuring me but I can already feel the old anxiety creeping back in.  I think when you've struggled as we all have, to varying degrees, to get or remain pregnant, you are just so painfully aware of what a precious thing it is being pregnant and how very fragile it is too. Or at least I am, and so I worry about it constantly! 

Poppy - hope you're okay and snuggled up on a sofa somewhere reading a book or watching some trashy TV to recover right now. 

x


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## teammonkey (Apr 19, 2014)

Tentoes the house move was bad timing but a good distraction too! Hoping it's a good sign, but like you know you can't help worry! 
Try to rest as much as you can! It's weird I've never suffered with the blood pressure issue, as I have very low bp. I was in hospital near Xmas with it and have been seeing a specialist as my body doesn't pump blood fast enough to my brain and I get dizzy. And pregnancy is known to affect it yet I feel fine! 
I agree about the anxiety, you worry until you have your baby in your arms. But it gets easier as it goes on in one sense. But then the worry of them being part of your life but not here yet is worrying but worth it a thousand times over I promise!! 

Thinking of you Poppy!! Xx


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## Poppy78 (Feb 15, 2015)

Hello ladies, thank you for the kind messages!

Team monkey - good sign the sickness has kicked in but I know it must be terrible and house move too! Well done for juggling everything! The distraction will hopefully make the week go quick and the scan will come round faster.

Tentoes - gosh I can imagine the tiredness especially at work hard to manage. I've been so irratable and tired lately and constantly having a go at hubby. Feel like I've turned into this horrible person really resenting what I'm going through and taking it out on others. Hang in there. It will be all worth it in the end. Take everyday as it comes x

Afm - I had 4 eggs collected and I had just got the call that only 1 fertilised. Leaves me with 3 embryos all together. Not as much as I would have hoped  and I'm wondering whether it's even worth doing the pgd test on them or just putting them back on a FET transfer. I will see what the clinic advice. It will be another £2000 just to test them.

Just feel so pessimistic about everything at the moment. I'm just another number to the clinic really. What a daunting process this whole thing is. And such an expensive gamble. We have spent £20k already and nowhere near getting pregnant yet.

The clinic will call me again on Friday to update me on progress. Feeling really gloomy right now.

Sorry for the negative vibes xxx

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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

*Just a gentle reminder that pregnancy/BFP/baby chat should be kept to an absolute minimum in this area out of consideration for others members (which included those who read the thread but don't comment). There are designated areas/threads for this type of chat as per the Site Guidelines: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=260253.0 .

Due to this you may find some of your comments or posts will be edited or removed without notice to ensure the thread as a whole can remain in this section withou breaching guidelines.

Thank you in advance for your understanding 

Cloudy - Volunteer FF Moderator

Xxx*


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## tentoes (Nov 8, 2016)

Hi Ladies, 

I think Cloudy's post is a sign that now is the time for me to exit FertilityFriends.  Because in truth I can't say anything about myself without referring to my pregnancy because that is what is going on with my life.  Sadly infertility and IVF, and the heartache it causes, doesn't (as I've discovered) end with a positive pregnancy test, and I'm still feeling the effects of it even now.  But that's not something I'm permitted to write about here. 

To be honest, I don't think that FertilityFriends has been a great forum for me because of its strict rules about not posting about pregnancy on anything other than the pregnancy boards.  As a result of this, all that I've ever seen on the IVF boards are stories of heartache and loss.  Those who have been fortunate enough to have a positive outcome are quickly forced off the IVF boards (and away from the friends they have met) and into the pregnancy boards.  So rather than hear the success you hear only silence. And for obvious reasons I didn't check the pregnancy boards when going through IVF.  So when I was preparing for, and undergoing IVF, my view of it was a very negative one - that it rarely if ever results in a happy ending.  Looking at this forum and the sad stories of others (and not hearing any of the positives) meant that my positivity was quickly replaced with what at the time I thought was "realism" but which I now realise was negativity. And that wasn't healthy. 

I guess the strict rules provide comfort to some - they must or presumably they wouldn't be in place - but not to me.  Even at the worst of my treatment I loved hearing stories of happy endings and well-deserved pregnancies by those who have struggled as it gave me hope.  There is another forum, Health Unlocked, which I've found much more beneficial and which I intend to continue to use.  There women do post their stories of both heartbreak and success (although always with consideration for others) and the community responds warmly.  The happy stories have always given me hope.  FertilityFriends forum is obviously just not the forum for me. 

Teammonkey and Poppy - I would really love to stay in touch via private message and hear how your stories go and hopefully about your happy endings where you hold those longed for babies.  So please do send me the occasional message. 

x


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

Tentoes I'm sorry you feel like that. I think you have misunderstood my comments. You are able to mention your pregnancy in brief, but many ladies who are going through infertility, failed treatments, and baby loss find it incredibly difficult to read about symptoms of pregnancy etc. We have a whole section on FF where people can talk about pregnancy, just as we have whole sections specifically for baby loss, coping with infertility, relationship support etc. We have to have separate areas for separate aspects of the journey otherwise it would just be one long list of threads with people not knowing where to go to get support. These areas have been developed from feedback from tens of thousands of members over many many years. Often we have to move chat threads to different areas: for example if you were all chatting about a specific clinic it would be moved to the regional section as it would not be appropriate in this section as this area is specifically for talk about going through IVF, and for supporting people going through IVF. 

No one is forced off any board and many people who have had successful cycles remind chatting to people on here and cheering them on: it's partly why the Forum works and is still around today. We also have lots of BFP and beyond inclusive chats in different non-pregnancy areas (like regional areas, or condition specific areas). No one is saying that getting a BFP makes the journey easy or over - and I say this as someone who has suffered losses, complicated pregnancy, and now a poorly baby. However this is a section to talk about IVF treatment and to support those still having treatment, not to discuss morning sickness etc.

I'm also sorry you think you have been given a negative view of IVF. As a forum we do not stop people saying "my treatment worked" or "I have a baby". We also have a signature system so that people can see what journeys people have had and also can see all the lovely successes people have achieved. We also have diaries so that people can read and follow journeys of success. Having been trying for 8 years for a baby, and having been on FF for half of that, I have never felt it's promoting negativity, and if anything seeing women achieve pregnancy after years of heartache and losses has been the only thing that's kept me going during some very dark times. 

We have never, and will never, stop people sharing stories of success, but we will always try and ensure that this is done sensitively and with the thoughts and feelings of those still undergoing treatment at the forefront of what we do. 

I hope that makes sense now and I am sorry if I wasn't very clear on my previous post 

Cloudy - Volunteer FF Moderator

Xxx


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