# ...Frustration with VA



## Dreams do come true (Jan 4, 2012)

Hi...me again, really utilising this board since I joined!

We opted for a VA as LAs were nightmare...couldn't find one that would assess us unless we would adopt the children that are harder to place.

I realise that the process is different with every agency, but I'd be interested to hear how many agencys have this process:
Initial visit - wait up 2 weeks to find out if they will work with us (we have done this, and they said yes straight away)
Invited to prep course, Feb course full, so have to wait until May (not a big issue but it's a long time away!)
Final day of prep we will be given a formal application form which we should complete if we want to proceed
....then rest of process is similar as other agencys.

Anyway, we know 100% that we want to proceed - absolutely NO DOUBT in our minds that we want to proceed so we wanted to submit formal application sooner. I phoned today, and they said the process has changed (but we have not been told) and that the applications have to be in before prep, which is great. Anyway, I've asked them to send us the forms to complete as we want to do it as soon as we possibly can...we've wasted 6 years on fertility treatment and do not want to waste ANY MORE time - the response was, they can't send them yet because the 8 months timescale (targets) they have will start when they recieve our form.

I really liked the social workers when they came out, they were great and really positive so I am happy the angecy, but this has frustrated me and I needed to get it off my chest. 

As I type this I realise that it sounds silly but I'm not deleting it now I've gone to the effort of typing it, lol.  

Oh well, I guess I'd better get used waiting and lack of communication as it seems to be part of the process. Adoption is not quick, but aaaaargh.

Hope you're all well!

x


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

We went with a VA and was very much as you described, initial visit was at their offices, invited on next prep, 3 months later, then SW visit at home to discuss prep and if we wanted to proceed, we were then allocated a SW for HS and official application form was given out, we were asked to hold off for a few weeks in putting in our official application as our SW was very busy, we did start our HS though before sending in our application, even with that it was almost 11 months from official application to panel!!!!


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## snapdragon (Jun 27, 2011)

Very similar with our LA, we received our application form a few weeks before the prep group. We only had a 2 month wait fron the information evening to the prep group and then about 6 weeks to start the homestudy.


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## Daizy (Feb 25, 2011)

It IS a waiting game; and frustration becomes a common emotional response! Sometimes it DOES help to just get it off your chest.
We’re 6 months into placement, and are going to court next week – if birth mother doesn’t lodge objection then our order goes through, if she does then we’re looking at legalities being drawn out for months to come (thus I hope you don’t mind me joining you in frustration city ).


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## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Hi there 
Sorry to hear you're frustrated. It sounds fairly standard for many cases to do this. We also went with a VA but submitted our appl before prep course, as they were ready to take us on to the next one pretty much straight away. The recommendation is that you are processed within 8 months of your application, and I guess if you were to submit it now, they would feel obliged to start the clock, so to speak. That said, although you say you are sure you want to do this (and I'm not doubting you for one minute) some people do drop out during/after prep course, so your VA may feel that rather than get people started, process paperwork, assign SW etc, they would rather wait til after prep to be sure everyone is still keen to go ahead.... ?
The whole adoption process is very slow and time consuming, and I can only say you will get used to waiting, and waiting, and waiting   
But you will get there!! Good luck!!


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## julesF (Apr 7, 2009)

our story was much the same it took us 9mnths from initial meeting to approval. they have to make sure and with hindsight i can see why it also gives you a chance to build up your support networks. once approved we were matched in 3 mnths and placed in 4mnths it is quick as once approved the VA is working for you and make no money from LA were the children are matched from till placed. 
it does feel like ever but read, get experience, build a network - oh then there is the homework for you PAR!


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

Just wanted to point out that the 8 months from official application to panel is a recommendation and not a given as you never know what might crop up.


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## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Thanks Miny - I will edit my post


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## Dreams do come true (Jan 4, 2012)

Well, I'm alot happier with the VA now!

They have sent me the homestudy pack to begin working on before prep, so that the majority will be ready for the social worker visits to try and speed things up, which I am happy about. 

Also, they want us to submit our formal application at the beginning of April, and seem quite confident (as much as they can be) that they will have us at panel within 8 months of recieving the formal application 

I real feel like it's moving now, me and DH have been twiddling our thumbs since the initial visit in November


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## Ipswichbabe (May 17, 2005)

Can i ask which VA are you with? I am just starting out and making enquires, I have contracted 2 La's we live right on the boarder of 2 counties.  So far all have been different. 
But im vering towards VA more. 
Silly question but do u have to pay for VA services?


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## Dreams do come true (Jan 4, 2012)

Nickinic said:


> Can i ask which VA are you with? I am just starting out and making enquires, I have contracted 2 La's we live right on the boarder of 2 counties. And now making enquiries with Dr Barnardos. So far all 3 have been different.
> But im vering towards VA more.
> Silly question but do u have to pay for VA services?


It was a nightmare for us...LAs were no use to us! Try Adoption Focus, they have been good for us. And no you don't have to pay for the services, by persistant with agencies don't let the initial finding an agency troubles put you off! Good luck. x


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