# Christenings and ultrasound scans



## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Both of them a horrible prospect! I had one yesterday and got the other tomorrow. At the christening I got quite upset. I think it pushed one of my buttons. They were singing about the power of God and miracles and all that. I was brought up a christian and as a child I so believed anything was possible. I guess my upset was the realisation of a deep disappointment that life just isn't like that. I also felt a complete fraud to be sat there as I don't have that faith. (Dh in his usual wicked style said he felt embarrassed to be taking part in such a mass delusion!!) So as soon as the christening part was over, dh and I slipped out the back. We went and had a coffee until it was time to meet up at a nearby pub for lunch. (That was awful too - we sat next to a bloke with 4 children, which of course he had brought. They were a delight, well behaved. He was a total bore - sorry but he was!) 
Now tomorrow I have to go for a u/s due to a really nasty pain in my abdomen. Could be ovaries - could be anything. But I just know I will have to sit next to preggos anxiously waiting for their scans. And it will bring it all back - I hate scanning rooms. I almost cancelled it; but the pain was so bad the other day that dh has insisted I check it out. Oh here we go - what more could life throw at me? Wish me strength - I think I'll need it.
Bernie x
P.S. I promise I'll be on my best behaviour - I won't say anything nasty to said preggos - promise.


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## Yamoona (Nov 7, 2005)

oh dear not had a good time of it have you. I wanted to send you much strength for your appointment tomorrow, at least you will be able to find out what is causing the pain and get it dealt with. Don't like the thought of you suffering hun. Concentrate on getting through tomorrow and take it from there. Let us know how you get on.

Much love
Yamoona
x


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## emmag (Mar 11, 2007)

Blimey, the christening sounds awful, and I'm so sorry you have to go for a scan, I'm glad you're going though to get the pain checked out.

xxx


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Good luck with the scan Bernie. Let us know what happens eh?

Thinking of you,

Jq xxx


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## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

Hello

I can really relate to how you feel about chrisianity now.  I've had a similar experience, and can't get through any type of church service without tears any more ... I think I'm crying for the person I used to be who used to be able to believe in a loving god ... for 'lost innocence' I guess!  I used to love singing hymns, and find it so difficult now.

Good luck with your ultrasound - I hope they work out what it is and that it's not serious  

Best wishes

Jx


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Thanks for well wishes. I had the scan - and nothing on my ovaries or uterus. So all clear in that sense (which, I have to admit was worrying me after the molar fiasco last year). But doesn't explain the sudden terrible pain I felt - so I guess I'll go back to my GP. 

Pol - I am the same. I get all upset because I used to believe in it all. You are right it is about 'lost innocence' or perhaps just a more realistic attitude. But when you have been brought up to believe in it all - that sort of realisation that it is all meaningless - it cuts deep.  I think it's probably best to stay away from church services - I'd be a hypocrite to join in now, anyway. I think I finally realised that on Sunday.

Bernie xxx


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Hi Bernie

Just wanted to say I'm glad your scan didn't reveal anything of a nasty nature, and I'm glad to hear the results of it were ok.

As for the christening - well I lost my faith years ago when I realised that a 'blessing' in the form of a child of my own was not something that was going to be. Every wedding or christening I have attended since has made me want to shout 'humpf' every time I hear that loving couples have children as blessings. Wonder how many of them have struggled like all of us here? Its almost like being told we are not 'blessed beings' because we have not been able to have kids... no wonder so many people lose their faith me thinks  

Love to you Bernie and hoping the pains you have been complaining of have subsided for you now  
Emcee xxx


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Hi Bernie,

I am glad to hear that the scan showed that everything looks OK. I hope the GP can reassure you about the pain.

What you and some of the others have said about Christianity has got me thinking....

Though like most people I find myself in Church every so often, I never got truly involved in religion, so my IF journey has not challenged any faith. I certainly would not get married in church and would not have had a christening if I had had a child. I hope to avoid a church funeral too! However I know how important faith is to many of DH's family, and to a dear friend who managed to hold on to her belief despite the sudden death of her young daughter. Although it is not for me, I do respect the place real faith has in many people's lives. And I respect those who live their faith in their dealings with others(just so long as they don't try and convert everyone else!)

I guess that a church service has to cater for the majority and so is bound to be difficult for those who already feel excluded from the so called norm. That must be even more the case if the minister does not know the congregation well. The meaningful services I have attended are where the minister does know the main participants and so can address their real lives. My MiL's funeral was conducted by a priest who knew her and her husband well as active lifelong members of the church community, involved not just in the services, but also in voluntary work. Most of the usual congregation were there. It was truly a celebration of her life and her marriage. The bit that got to me was when generations of Girl Guides and Brown Owls saluted her out of the church! My friend recently married in the same church where her daughter's funeral was held years ago. My friend is a regular member there and helps in the Youth Club. The service was so moving, tender and lighthearted at different times, and the minister acknowledged the mixed feelings people might have as they remembered the funeral but said that J and P wanted people to share in their joy.

I wondered whether for my FF to whom faith is important, there might be some support to hold on to it?  I don't really know what that might be, all I can think of is to talk with a minister, but I guess it would have to be one you feel comfortable with and who won't trot out platitudes like "mysterious ways" and "count your blessings."  I am pretty sure a good minister would understand how difficult it can be to hold onto faith as bereavement often challenges belief in just the way you describe. Maybe a one to one discussion could help people start to believe again if they want to? 

Anyway Bernie, don't forget to let us know what the GP says, as you have a lot of friends here who care about you.

Love

Jq xxx


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

hunny


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