# Help please (info required)



## Mum to a gorgeous cherub (Jan 3, 2004)

Girls

I have been reading the adoption section for many months now having had my final IVF in March. I have today plucked up the courage to phone our LA to discuss starting the process. Basically that have said that they are not interested as we want to adopt a child as young as possible (under school age) and they don't have may children requiring placement. They also want to place children out of the area, which I do understand. But I thought that they would be able to assess us and get us to panel, not so! They have basically said we would be better to approach another LA or an agency.

I feel very deflated and disappointed, any thoughts or advice would be gratefully received.

Should we go to another LA or go to an agency?

Thanks
Hayley xx


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Hayley,

Please don't feel disappointed or deflated. There are other LA'a and agencies that you should try!

Have a look at the BAAF website and you will find details there. http://www.baaf.org.uk/.

Don't give up and keep us posted.

Laine x


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## Milktray (Jun 12, 2005)

Gosh Hayley, what a terrible attitude from your LA!!  I understand that there are more children that are older that they need to place, but there is no need for them to act like that!!

I would definitely contact another LA and or some agenices, as Laine said - don't give up hun, just put this one down to experience.

Take care

T x


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## Mum to a gorgeous cherub (Jan 3, 2004)

Thanks Laine and Milktray

We are really gutted but not beaten!

Milktray, I see you are going for overseas adoption, the LA i spoke to today have quoted me £3500, is that about right? Where are you adopting from? We are thinking about a little girl from China but are not sure what path to take yet.

Thanks again

Hayley x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hayley

You can be aproved by an agency within a 50 mile radius.  Most Authority's work on a consortium basis whereby they approve you in one authority and then try to place you with children from that authority then also check with the consortium for a suitable match (our Authority was in a consortium with 13 other authorities).

The attitude towards you from your LA is not very good but equally from their view point they have a priority to place those children who are already subject to care orders.  We had a delay in our process from finishing the course to being assigned an SW because the authority had an inlfux of 5-8 year olds.

I would suggest contacting a neighbouring authority and see what response you get.  I also notice from your ticker that you have some frosties.  if you are planning to cycle any authority will expect you to have a gap of at least 6 months.  may be try your authority again as the situation may have changed.

Good luck
Karen x


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## Mum to a gorgeous cherub (Jan 3, 2004)

Hi Karen

Thanks for your reply.

I have used all my frosties back in March so we have been totally free of IVF/intertility for 5 months. I have contacted another LA today and had a much better response. Both LA's have said they are very short staffed. They are not sure when they will be able to start us. I have also spoken to a voluntary agency today, the lady was very helpfull but Iam not sure whether an agency is right for us. Do you think we would be better going to a LA? The LA i spoke to today said that they rarely use agencies and like you said they tend to work in consortiums. Want to make the right decision.... I have also been advised that we may be matched quicker if we take a sibling group. Was it a hard decision to make, or had you always wanted 2 children? Sorry If iam being a bit nosey.

If you have any advice I would be very gratefull

Thanks
Hayley


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Hayley

We never looked into the independent agency route and went straight for the LA so not sure of what to expct with them really.

We always said we would adopt 1 child now and one later (always wanted 2 children) but were told our chances of younger children were better if we accepted a sibling group. At least in this reagrd there is a natural bond between the children and we weren't sure of what the position would have been another 2 years down the line.

May be some of the others who've looked at both options can give you their perspectives?

Good luck
Karen x


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## Milktray (Jun 12, 2005)

Hayley34 said:


> Thanks Laine and Milktray
> 
> We are really gutted but not beaten!
> 
> ...


Hi Hayley

Yes that figure sounds right. Although I believe that this is just for the initial assesment. The actual cost of adoption abroad from start to finish can be around £7,000 - £15,000  

We are intending on adopting from Russia.

Glad to see that you have received a more positive response today.

T x


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## helenb (Oct 30, 2004)

Hi Hayley, 

We went with a voluntary agency and found them really good.  Our LA seemed a bit woolly about times scales, prep courses (even if there was going to be one this year, and it took me 2 phonecalls just to get an info pack sent out). The voluntary agency was really on the ball.  At the outset they told us what to expect when and so far have really stuck to it.  It was difficult to know whether we've done the right thing with regards to a match after we're approved but they seem to be really proactive in finding matches.  They have said that most of the couples on their books have been matched approx 6 - 9 months of being approved (or earlier!)

Deciding who to go with though was a bit of a dilemma as we didn't know whether it would affect our chances of being matched.  Karen gave us some great advice - you need to go with who you feel comfortable with.  At the end of the day the home study is quite intrusive so you need to make sure you're comfortable with whoever you'll go with.  Although we didn't actually meet our SW until the homestudy started we were really impressed with the atmosphere and ethos of the voluntary agency as, in comparison to our LA, they made us feel more comfortable and confident in what to expect. 

It seems that LA's are a bit of a lottery really, some seem great and others.... aren't!

Good luck in your journey!


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

We are with a voluntary agency because our LA only places children aged 5+.  All younger children go via one of the three main vol.orgs in our area.  LA were nice but not very helpful cos they weren't interested.  We found it really hard to choose an agency but went with the one which seemed most helpful, open and accountable.  One agency had a 3 month wait just for an initial meeting (along with 10 other couples!), one really only deals with 'difficult to place' children and one was smaller and still linked to the Roman catholic church (although they will take parents of any faith or none these days).

We live in Scotland and our agency was quite upfront for the very beginning that it would be 9 - 12months from finishing prep course rather than first enquiry.  they take prep course as preparation to go through the procedure so you do't formally apply until after the six week course. that was helpful as we had been led to believe it might be quicker but they were totally upfront and were open to us questioning why and how etc.  So it will be 7 months from first enquiry and SW meeting (one to one) to prep course and we expect another 9 - 12 months before being approved.  I am very very overweight so we may be delayed further until i can lose enough to prove that i am healthy - but i know it will be worth it in the end.  We have been told to expect to be matched with a 2 - 3 year old within 12weeks of approval (longer if we want under 2)

magenta x


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## Nats (Aug 22, 2003)

Hi Hayley..

Well it looks like you have somewhere to start now, but wanted to let you know that our LA wasnt overly helpful; at first either. They just said that they dont have any children under 3.5 years old, mainly all 6 and above, but once we saw the SW we were told another story....it was as if they were seeing what our response would be...

Anyway although we have a slightly longer wait, we have been approved for one child under 2 years old...

Wishing you all the very best.

Natxx


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