# Looking to start or going through adoption : Pt 3



## Dee

New home girls, in anticipation of brilliant news from Karen on Friday!

Loads of love and luck to you all
Dee
xxx


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## KarenM

Dee

Thanks for our new home. To keep with your traditional style, here's our list of where we all are.....

Karen:
Panel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match - 3 possibles identified will find out soon .

Cindy:
Currently doing home assessment

Carol:
Currently doing home assessment

Ann:
Currently doing home assessment

Ang:
Course 10th and 11th June

Everhopful:
Doing all the pre-lim stuff, checks, medicals etc

Jo:
Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW

Nat:
Awaiting allocation of SW

Kylie:
Waiting for a date for info evening


Let me know if there is anything that needs updating on the list.

Ang - good luck for your course tomorrow

Love
Karen x


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## *Kim*

Karen

Sorry i am late posting. Just wanted to say brilliant news. Will be checking this thread out on friday.

Good Luck

Love Kim x x x


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## Bev H

Dear Karen

Hope there's good news tomorrow - GOOD LUCK.
Lots of love, Bev H xxxx


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## Dee

Oh goodness me ....... now the Mums To Be have gone all rainbow coloured! 

Must be cause their dreams are about to come true! 

Loads of Love
Dee
xxx
  

Karen:
Panel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match - 3 possibles identified will find out soon .

Cindy:
Currently doing home assessment

Carol:
Currently doing home assessment

Ann:
Currently doing home assessment

Ang:
Course 10th and 11th June

Everhopful:
Doing all the pre-lim stuff, checks, medicals etc

Jo:
Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW

Nat:
Awaiting allocation of SW

Kylie:
Waiting for a date for info evening


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## Debs

Karen,

Wishing you all the best for today  

Love

Debs xxx


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## SueL

Karen, just wanted to say, hope you get some great news today! 

Love Sue
xxxxx


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## Fee

Karen 
Thinking of you today and hoping for great news.
xx

Ang - hope your course has been inspirational and that you really feel you and dp are on your way.

Fee xxxxxxxxxxx


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## Wizz

Karen 
looking out for your news. 
Hope everything is well with you today
can't wait to hear how its all going
wizz


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## Suzie

hi

just wanted to say good luck to karen , i have been following your progress even though i am not yet on the road to adoption but think we will be soon and you are an inspiration for me to go forward.

take care
suzie aka olive


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## Juel

Karen,
Thinking of you today & hoping you get good news,
luv n hugs
juel xx


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## Laine

Karen

Can't wait to hear your news...

Laine x


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## KarenM

Sorry to disappoint girls but we haven't heard anything today. I am hoping that this means she is trying to get more information and that hopefully next week we will hear about whether or not any of them match. She did say she wasn't back in the office until Friday, and if she is anything like me, you go in with good intentions and then get side tracked onto all sorts.

As they say no news is good news. I am pleased that she told me no details about them, as otherwise I would have been tempted to go and buy the whole of Mothercare and Toys R Us.

You will all be one of the first to know as soon as I hear anything.

Thanks for all your kind wishes

Love
Karen x


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## *Kim*

Praying you hear something very soon Karen.

Love Kim x x x x


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## Fee

ahhhww Karen. Never mind. Hope you hear the good news soon
Fee xxxxx


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## everhopeful

Hello all!

Just wanted to let u in on the latest - we have received invitations to go on our 3 day prep courses - July!
Dont think Im ready yet!! (Thought Id be waiting til Autumn).

Anyway - BEST OF LUCK TO KAREN & HUBBY.... THINKING OF YOU BOTH AND KEEPING FINGERS CROSSED! xxxxx


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## Fee

Everhopeful - it's great that you got on the course so quick - go for it xxxxx You're going to be a Mummy and Daddy xxx


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## KarenM

Getting mightily frustrated now as still no phone call. keep frantically checking my voice mail at work and the 1571 at home but nothing. Hoping it means good news but i am going to ring tomorrow as the suspense is killing me.

Everhopeful - great news about your course in July, I will update the list with your news.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## Laine

Karen,

Thinking of you...hope it is good news.

Laine x


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## *Kim*

Karen 

Hope you hear from them soon. Can understand you getting frustrated with them.

Love Kimx x x x


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## cindyp

Karen, I hope you get some news. These SW's don't exactly make life easy do they? I can well understand you getting frustrated, I'm already frustrated and we haven't finished yet.

Everhopeful, glad to hear you've got your course booked. You should find it interesting, hard work but very informative.

We're still plodding on, I was a bit irritated this week as the SW had mentioned to Lee that she would finish his one-to-one and then see us together. So, I swapped my days at work so I could be there to see her, went upstairs whilst they finished his one-to-one and then she finishes with Lee, says goodbye and goes to her next appointment without even an acknowledgement of me rearranging my days. Unfortunately, although she is reasonably OK to talk to she is not the most professionally organised person I have ever met. We have no idea how long our assessment is going to last, when she is going to visit our references or what we are going to cover in the next session. Sometimes you just get a little frustrated with all these niggles, especially when you've spent 8 years of frustration trying to have your own baby. Oh well, enough ranting, onwards and upwards as my mother used to say.

Our medical forms have arrived but there is no way I'm going for the appointment until I've lost another 7 pounds. I've got a very good but scary doctor whose bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired. Last time I went for a smear test he prodded my tummy and said "Of course, this would be easier if there was a bit less of this!". We like to call him Mr Tactful , but have to admit he is very efficient and as he is the only doctor in the village very necessary.

Hope everyone else is keeping well.

love
Cindy


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## Mrs Chaos

Hi
I'm popping my head in to say " hello" to everyone as dh and I are now going down the adoption route after ttc for over 7 years.
I had a son with my ex-partner and he is now 12 years old. Dh had a dd with his ex-wife who will be 16 years this year.
We sought help after ttc for about 3 years and were shocked at the wait between appointment times, and the basic tests took about 3 years in all.
We did seek a 2nd opinion this Feb, but were told we are still unex.
We were offered iui/ivf but we decided that wasn't the route we wanted.
After a hefty divorce settlement we cannot afford ivf tx...and to be honest I felt to "done in" to even try.
I was worried we wouldn't be able to get off the ivf rollercoaster too....and we decided enough is enough...7 years of trying took such a toll emotionally..and we felt we wanted some "sanity" back in our lives.
We have had some dealings with Social Workers as my dh adopted my son in Feb this year. (we've been together 8 years, but ex-wife made us wait for 5 years for divorce so we've been married 3 years this August)
We have our first open evening in a couple of weeks and will meet our new S/W next week. We were hoping to have our old S/W but she has now retired  but she has left all of our recent paperwork in order so the only real difference is me being vetted this time, as it was straight forward with adopting my son.
I would greatly appreciate any advice as although we have "some idea" of the minefield of questions and paperwork, it is obviously different this time around.
We are hoping to be accepted for a sibling group of 2 children.
Well...that's me..... 
Looking forward to getting to know you all
Best wishes 
Angel
XX


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## KarenM

Hi Angel - Welcome to the crew. You will probably find the differences will be (for both of you) about how you will have the capacity to parent children that have come from different backgrounds. Whilst your son will have had some major changes in his life, these will be very different to the backgrounds that your adopted children will come from. You will find the preparation course very interesting and it will open your mind to thinking about things you have never even thought of. I wish you well with the process.

Cindy - sorry to hear that your SW is messing you around. Mine now understands how busy I am at work and how it is not that easy for me to just have an afternoon or morning off at the drop of a hat. My diary is chocker black months in advance. It is naughty of her not to tell you what she is going to be discussing. We found that we had many discussion, debates, even arguements about some of the topics we were going to discuss and it was good to set out our stall ready for her visit. I hope things improve. I woudn't worry too much about the weight thing. Rich and I had our medicals not long after Xmas and having been on holiday, both of us had gained weight.

Well my news is that I spoke to the SW today. She has told me that this part of the process takes a while as there is lots of info to be shared between the children's social workers and our social worker before they can say if we are a suitable match. She has told me that one of the children's social workers is on holiday and not back to work until Monday. The other is getting back to her tomorrow.

There are 4 sibling groups of 2 children, all with at least one boy as we had requested and the age of the pairs are (2 & 3), (1 & 3), (2 & 1) and (2 & 9mths). That is all I know at the minute. As soon as I know anymore, I will let you know.

I'll update the list and repost it too.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## KarenM

Updated list as promised. My our dreams of motherhood soon be with us 

Karen:
Panel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match - 3 possibles identified will find out soon  .

Cindy:
Currently doing home assessment

Carol:
Currently doing home assessment

Ann:
Currently doing home assessment

Ang:
Course 10th and 11th June

Everhopful:
Preparation Course in July

Jo:
Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW

Nat:
Awaiting allocation of SW

*Kylie:
Waiting for a date for info evening*

Angel: Open evening July


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## Bev H

Hi Karen

Surely they must make a decision soon, I hope so, the ages of the children are lovely, you are gonna be a busy mummy!!!
Roll on next week, lots of love to you xxxx


Hi to you all here and sending you all lots of luck and best wishes,
Bev H xxxxx


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## Dee

It's looking good, Karen

Hope you hear really really soon .... you really really are a Mum To Be now!!!!!!!

Loads of Love
Dee
xxx


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## Laine

Karen,

Oh how exciting for you!

Laine x


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## KarenM

Karen: Panel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match - 4 possibles identified will find out soon  .

Cindy: Currently doing home assessment

Carol: Currently doing home assessment

Ann: Currently doing home assessment

Ruth: Currently doing home assessment

Ang: Course 10th and 11th June

Everhopeful: Preparation Course in July

Jo: Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW

Nat: Awaiting allocation of SW

Kylie: Waiting for a date for info evening

Angel: Open evening July

Homer & Marge: Just starting out

Hi folks

Just updated the list with those people who have joined the boards. Please don't forget to let us know how you are getting along.

Good luck 
Love
Karen x


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## Mrs Chaos

Hi
Thanks for the warm welcome.
Is there anyone in a similar position to me, who already has their own child but who is seeking to adopt?
Can I also ask a niggling question.
Our s/w rang today and wanted to check some of our details already on file since my dh adopted my son in Feb this year, and to ask if there had been any changes etc.
I briefly explained our fertility history and all of that was ok.
I understand the need for "grieving" etc but am a bit confused about the requirement to be using contraception whilst pursuing adoption.
We don't have many options there as my G.P. advises me against the pill, as I was quite ill when last on it.
It was many years ago, but I really don't want to go on the pill again, it took me ages for my body to recover and it never agreed with me.
Secondly, I had a pelvic infection and my G.P. also advises against the coil, and to be honest, I don't fancy that either.
There isn't much left really is there?
It's quite ironic isn't it now....to have been ttc for so many years (7 years now) and to now be told I "ought not" to get pg 
What methods of contraception are acceptable?
Sorry to waffle on......
Thanks
Angel
XX


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## cindyp

Hi Angel, welcome to the group. I'm afraid I'm not trying to adopt whilst having my own child but I can sympathise with the other matter. Like you and your DH, we are also unexplained and have been asked to use contraception. The reason they ask you to do this is that they feel it would have a detrimental effect on the children if you are all lined up to adopt them and then suddenly become pregnant and cannot go ahead. As my DH and I have been trying unsuccessfully for over 8 years we feel that the chances of this happening are just about zero. We also feel that if it did happen after all this time it would be a welcome miracle. So, personally we are being naughty and have decided to ignore this rule until we get approved. If we are then matched up with kiddies we will use contraception as even I don't want to get pg whilst looking after two toddlers. Have you considered a barrier method? ie, diaphragm or the good old condom. (It seems so ironic discussing contraception on this site). 

Karen, this must be the worst time of year to have to wait, with everyone going on holiday just when you want them to tell you what's going on. Four possible matches sounds good and I hope you hear soon.

I'm just going to grit my teeth with my SW, she's easy enough to talk to just not very organised. Hopefully, another few months and we'll be approved. As for the weight thing, I'm doing it for myself, as well as the panel. I spent the afternoon with my 5 yr old neice and was reminded of how much energy they take up. I may be a prospective mother who will be pushing 42 but I intend to be a fit one.

Hope everyone else is keeping well.

love
Cindy


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## Fee

Hi

Karen - lovely to read of your possibles. Makes it all seem real I bet. The ages sound nice too. Hope the SW stuff gets dones really soon, and that you will meet your children asap!

Cindy - Made me smile reading about your SW. In our area they are notoriously disorganised - usually cos of high staff turn over. 

Really lovely to see how you are all getting nearer to being Mummies

Fee xxxxxxxx


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## Mrs Chaos

Cindy
Thanks for your reply.
It does seem a little ironic doesn't it, speaking about contraception on this site 
I was just a bit worried about whether our limited contraception might harm our chances of being accepted.
Thanks again
Angel
XX


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

Angel - we have never been told to use contraception but it would be total immaculate conception if it happened. even before she knew why we couldn't have children of our own she never mentioned it.

Cindy - hope you are getting on ok despite the SW 

Well my news is that 2 of the sibling groups are now out of the equation. 1 Group's situation is on hold and the other group have already been placed with adopters. She is still continuing to look for us though so even if these don't come off I'm sure there will be more in the pipeline.

Hope everyone else is well. Good luck to those starting their courses soon.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## *Kim*

Oh Karen what a disappointment. Mind you it must be the right children are out there waiting to be placed with you. Hope they get you your family soon.

Love Kim x x x


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## everhopeful

Hello Karen

Sorry to hear about your slight setback - but try to think positively - your children are out there somewhere, sat patiently for Mum and Dad to collect them.
Keeping fingers crossed for you that you're not waiting too much longer!

S x

PS Hi to everyone else - hope all is well!


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## cindyp

Karen, so sorry to hear your news. Just when you think the hard part is over and you've been approved they start putting you through hoops again. As you say I'm sure there will plenty more in the pipeline. The fact that they provisionally matched you up with 4 sets is promising.

Hope you get some good news soon.

love

Cindy


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## Dee

Aw Karen,

What a waiting game you are having to sit out. 

I am sure that your perfect match is just around the corner and hope you don't have to wait too much longer ... it is going to be so so worth it! 

Love and hugs
Dee
xxx


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## Mrs Chaos

hi
I've just read on another thread here, that if one of you have been married previously the S/S contact the ex.
Our s/w told me that the other day, and that my ex-partner and my dh's ex wife will have to be contacted.
I have no idea where my ex is, he's not seen our son since he was 15 months old...what will happen there?
Also Andy's ex-wife took thier dd abroad in 1995 and he's not seen either of them since.
We had an email telling us they had moved countries and that now they are in europe, but no address.
She has prevented him having any contact with their dd purely out of malice and hatred, because he is now with me. I met him a year after she had left him, but as soon as she found out we were together she wanted him back...typical of some people huh lol
Anyway, what bothers me is if they contact her, she will, no doubt, blacken his name, "unfit father" etc etc and **** him off from a dog to a pig...and that would be so unfair.
I've been told the reason they have to check with ex's is that on one occasion a divorced man, remarried, and he and his new partner applied for adoption.
He killed the child after abusing him, so I fully appreciate why they need to check, because if they had checked this man out, all of his previous partners would have said he was a suspected abuser/violent etc.
I am now worried that his ex could ruin things for us.
I'm sure they are used to "acrimonious" divorces but they have yet to deal with his ex wife! 
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Angel
XX


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## KarenM

Angel

I can't comment directly on what they would do. I suppose I am fortunate that my dh's ex didn't reply. My bigger concern was her reading between the lines and coming up with all kinds of thoughts as to why. I kept seeing images of her just laughing.

They also ask to contact any other person with who you have had a "significant" relationship with i.e. anyone you have been engaged to or lived with.

I am not sure what they will do if you have not got a forwarding address etc. We had to send dh's ex stuff through her mother as we know that she still lives in the village.

I hope they can clarify it all for you. Don't forget though as part of the process you will have to explain why the relationship broke down and so they will be aware of the issues before they make contact.

Good luck
Love
Karen x


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## molly2003

hi girls i have got a little good news 1st i have now done our 2 day Course completed and awaiting allocation of SW.
letter came 2 july. all so i have been back to the ivf clinic and there going to try a new drug on me to help my linning .
this drug has only been used on 3 girls and 2 got pg...
i will have to take it for a hole 9 MONTHS ARR but going to try it.
as well as our adoption will carry on , i think im going to get some where at last .
sorry ive not been on here we have been doing the house up.
karen how are you getting on . love from OXO ANG OXO
were waiting on allocation of SW... yeppie at last...
hugs


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## Boomerang girl

Hiya all, finally some news from me- the info evening is this wednesday. I hate all the worry of what will happen, if we will be approved etc. I have just read all three starting the journey threads and feel much better. Thanks!
I have a question- exactly what does the medical involve? what sort of things would rule you out?(not that we think it would be a problem, I am just curious). I also have one of those horrid feelings that the course will be in september when DH is on a work course then we will have to wait ages for another one. Kent Adoption seem to drag their feet a bit if this last 3 months has been anything to go by!!
think I might go subscribe to Be My Parent. I got one issue about 12 months ago and fell in love with some of the kids!
kylie
x


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

Good news Ang - well done on completing the course. I will updte the list.

Kylie - that must have taken you ages to read all of our old posts and I know it was sometime ago that I started the original thread.

In terms of the medicals, they cover height, weight, reflexes, blood pressure, eye sight. Whether or not you have had any operations, last time you visited GP, reasons for IF etc. Be prepared for a charge our were £ 36 each.

No news here still, I'm just trying not to get swept along with it all. We are still in the running for 2 sets of siblings but we are still waiting to hear about whether or not we have been the couple matched with them.

I'll keep you posted as soon as I hear anything.

Love
Karen x


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## everhopeful

Hi everyone!

Kylie - hello! Just to say Good luck with your medicals - they really are nothing to worry about! Mine cost me £74.50 and yet my hubbie's was nothing! Hope you get the 2nd price!!!!

Has anyone got any views/experience of having to give up work?
We've been told to give serious consideration to me giving up, and although I'd love to (in an ideal world), we cannot afford to live on 1 wage. I've told them that I will take maximum leave plus holidays if possible, and that I would have to go part time - with Mum or Mother-in-law looking after the child. I am fully aware that we may have to wait a lot longer, because other couples can afford to give up, and therefore we will be by-passed when it comes to matching.
Surely I don't have to be an inadequate Mum in order to provide for my children - believe me I will not be going back because I love my job!
As for commitment - surely we wouldn't be going down this route if we weren't commited and desperately wanting a family?

Any thoughts would be gladly welcomed

S x


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## KarenM

Hi everhopeful

From the beginning I have made it clear that I am going back to work (I have no choice as I am the principal wage earner). The SW did not have a problem with this and so when we filled in our forms she was aware of both of us working full time being a factor in some of our responses to what circumstances we would consider children from.

I have never been told that this will put us behind other couples. We have made contingencies about additional leave that I might need to have if the children do not settle in the time I have planned to have off.

Don't be pressurised in to making a decision that is not right for you. At the end of the day, you and dh will have to manage the work/life balance for future in your own way.

It's weird, the more people join this thread, the more you realise how things differ across the country.

Good luck
love
Karen x


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## everhopeful

Thanks Karen

That has certainly put my mind at ease. I find it amazing that this SW thought it that simple to just drop your earnings - and yet they still want you to be able to give the child everything - holidays, etc. I some how think that half of all SW's do not live in the real world!!!
And if they truly realised the stress we are under they wouldn't add to it. Maybe it was just a try to test us and our commitment. Oh well! I will certainly take your comments onboard - and thanks again!!

Going to first prep course on Wednesday - will let u know how it goes!
Best of luck to you and your news... hope it arrives soon!

S x


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## KarenM

Here's the latest list. Good luck everyone


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## KarenM

Whoops got a bit mouse happy!!!

Here IS the latest list....

Karen: Panel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match - 2 possibles identified will find out soon  .

Cindy: Currently doing home assessment

Carol: Currently doing home assessment

Ann: Currently doing home assessment

Ruth: Currently doing home assessment

Ang: Course completed awaiting allocation of SW

Everhopeful: Preparation Course starts 7th July

Jo: Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW

Nat: Awaiting allocation of SW

Kylie: Info evening 7th July

Angel: Open evening July

Homer & Marge: Just starting out



Good luck everyone 

Karen x


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## cindyp

Hi Everyone

I thought I'd just pop in and see how we were all doing. There's quite a few of us now.

Karen, having been approved all this waiting must seem so frustrating. Really hope you get matched up soon.

Everhopeful, good luck with the couse, I'm sure you'll find it really interesting.

Kylie, we've only just handed our forms to our doctor to arrange our medicals, we're still waiting for him to come back with a date. Have no idea how much they will cost, my DH took the forms in and forgot to ask! I've been trying to lose weight 'cos I know that my BMI is too high, but I'm pleased 'cos it's a lot lower than it used to be. I'm sure they are nothing to worry about.

Ang, congratulations on completing the course and the news about the new drug. Just one question though, will they let you go ahead with IF treatment whilst pursuing adoption? My understanding was that they wanted people to have got all that out of the way before they proceeded with adoption, our SW doesn't even want us to have unprotected sex. Although after 8 years of ttc without success, I don't think she should be that bothered. I'd be interested to hear what your authority's views are.

We've got our next appointment next week. I've decided to be a bit more pro-active and try and ask more questions. Our friend's sister-in-law is a SW and told her that we should really try and involve our SW by asking lots of questions. I think we've been a bit reticent because we were looking for her to lead the process and didn't want to inadvertently upset anything.

As for the work issue, we made a conscious decision 4 years ago that we were going to "downsize". We moved to a smaller house so that we could afford to both work part time. Basically the two of us will work 5 days between us and spend the other days looking after the children. However, despite what the SW thinks we are not planning on taking full maternity/paternity leave as we cannot afford to do so. Also, we think it will be better to get the children into a routine that involves us working as soon as possible.

Hope everyone else is well.

love
Cindy


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## KarenM

Hi girls

Everhopeful - hope you have found the course interesting today. Are you doing the course on consecutive days or do you have to go back at a later date? Let us know how you are getting along.

Kylie - Hope your info evening has gone well today. Hope you got some straight answers to your questions.

Cindy - I'm not taking full leave either. I am planning to have 20 weeks off full time and then over 6 weeks build my hours back to full time. I am taking some of the 20 weeks as leave and some as time owed so I can have more paid time off. If they don't settle in time I will still have some of my proper leave to take.

I am going to ring my SW tomorrow, as we still haven't heard anything. Its really beginning to make me feel quite anxious. I have so much stuff going on at work at the moment and don't feel I can give 100% to it because I don't know if I will be going off half way through a major project. I'll let you all know how I get on.

Bye for now
Karen x


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## *Kim*

Good luck Karen. I came racing on here when i saw you posted. Hope you get some news tomorrow.

Love Kim x x x


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## cindyp

Kim, I've just noticed you bio. I'm so sorry to read about the m/c. I really hope that you have a little sibling for Joe, you've been so supportive to everyone on this site. After I lost my baby last year I stopped looking at the Bun in the Oven thread because it made me feel sad, and I'm afraid I got out of the habit of checking it out.

Although like most people on this site I'm happy with my decision to go for adoption, despite what the SWs think there will always be a part of you that thinks "What if things had turned out differently".

Karen, it's not surprise that you're felling anxious, you must constantly be on tenterhooks with all this waiting. I hope you get some positive news from your SW. Will check in at the weekend to find out how you got on.

Take care
Cindy


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## Ruthiebabe

Hello karen and all you other ladies,

I always check this thread out to catch up on what's been happening, especially with Karen being so close!! BTW is that me the "Ruth" on the list of people at different stages? Not that i think the world revolves around me or anythign, it's just it came up so soon after posting on a different thread.

Enough waffle, I wanted to ask about your experiences with the writing about yourself/career/education/family history. We're on our second go at it (first was a bit rough and not directed at adoption enough) but I was wondering how much time others had to spend on this. i know it's probably the most important part, but was just curious as to what to expect? 

Also has anyone heard from Allineedisamiracle? I don't come in too regularly, but ages ago when I was here I read that the little girl she was being assessed for was sick, and I've seen and heard nothign since. Anyone know anything?

bye for now,
XXRuth.


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## *Kim*

Aww cindy thats lovely of you thanks.

Love Kim x x x


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## KarenM

Hi Ruth

Yes that is you on the list, sorry if i was too efficient for you!! )

In terms of the writing about my childhood/school etc, I probably spent one evening infront of the computer and just typed. I wrote my stuff in order from when I was born through to today and where I am working etc. That way I made sure I covered all the different times in my life and didn't flit from one topic to the other. I also put in some memories both happy and sad to try and evidence how I dealt with these.

I also ended up typing dh's as he dictated it and he used mine as a guide for the different stages to cover

Good luck with it.

We haven't heard anything from Carol (allineedisamiracle) for quite some time, she was due to get "Sarah" in June so who knows she could be a mummy right now!

Love
Karen x


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## everhopeful

Hi Karen

Thanks for message - yesterday went ok. Strange how tired you can feel after sitting all day just listening!!! Found very interesting. Course is split - one day next week and the last day the week after.
Interesting listening to the talks of newly adoptive parents - amazing to see the videos and photos of their children! One of the adopters, said she'd felt like they'd never get a match and then there she was! (I think they'd waited 4 months - and she was definately worth the wait! I could've taken her home!!)
So you just hang in there! Your time will come!!
They all described the "whoosh" feeling that overwhelms them when they see their child for the 1st time - and I know we all want that feeling!!
Keep us informed....
and hello to all the ladies!!! 

Bye for now
Love S x


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## KarenM

Hi everyone

Sorry for no personal mentions but i just wanted to post you our news. We now have no potential matches . I rang and spoke to our SW today and it turns out that the two remaining groups are out of the running. One has already been placed and the others, they are looking for experienced parents due to significant attachment disorder.

Getting really fed up now emotions are up and down like a yo-yo all the time . SW said she will ring the week after next, but we'll see.

Bye for now
Karen x


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## KarenM

New list.....

Karen: Panel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match.

Cindy: Currently doing home assessment

Carol: Currently doing home assessment

Ann: Currently doing home assessment

Ruth: Currently doing home assessment

Ang: Course completed awaiting allocation of SW

Everhopeful: Preparation Course starts 7th July

Jo: Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW

Nat: Awaiting allocation of SW

Kylie: Info evening 7th July

Angel: Open evening July

Homer & Marge: Just starting out


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## *Kim*

OH Karen i am so so sorry. How can they play with your emotions like this. Its cruel.

I hope you get your children very soon.

Love Kim x x xx


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## Mel

Karen

I hope they dont keep messing you about like this - surely they knew the little ones would need more experienced parents (whatever you can class as more experienced) before they told you about them.

((((((((((((((hugs to you both))))))))))) and HURRY UP SW - Karen wants her little ones.

Mel

x x


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## Sue MJ

Karen,

Thinking of you - really hope you get a suitable match very very soon.

Love,

Sue xxxxxxxx


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## SueL

Oh Karen, you and Richard must be soooooo frustrated............ (((((((big hugs)))))) to you both and hope you get the news you deserve, very soon!

Love Sue
xxxxxx


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## Boomerang girl

just a quick update before i read through all the posts since i last read- info evening helpful but we had the same work response as everhopeful. we think we have managed to work out a way so that one of us is at home at all times, with simon continuing to work full time and me three days a week. obviously we will continue to work full time right to the last minute to save all the money we can and yes we have been told that we will be "in competition" with other couples who can have one partner at home all the time and one who works. aaaargh! you'd think with my child development experience, expertise etc they'd be knocking down our door!
anyway, we sent off the application- why do we want to adopt, work and housing history, medical details, fertility info etc and are now awaiting a visit from the social worker- well at least contact to plan a visit. with me off to aus on the 25th it may be a little while. the next prep course with available dates is november which would be perfect so fingers crossed. we said 2 children up to 5 no gender pref- although for some strange reason i think we both see it being boys, everyone esle we know has girls and everyone seems to choose girls!
i am surprised by simon. initially he said he would only consider a toddler or baby. the further we go the stronger and more open he gets. he is my rock.
kylie
x


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## Boomerang girl

and now to karen...
it must be so hard for you! i hope they match you soon. the adoptive parent that spoke at our evening actually got to nearly meeting the kids, then the foster parents decided to keep and adopt the baby- so the whole thing fell apart and the decided to back off. then four months later they got their THREE kids and now just know they were right. she just said she went through hell after the first match fell through though. this isn't an easy option is it?
thinking of you,
kylie
x
by the way we found out the medicals cost us 75 pounds each. not a major prob for us, but seems mean that the agency doesn't pay. do they want these children to have permanent homes or what??


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## cindyp

Karen, so sorry there wasn't more positive news. This adoption lark seems just as frustrating as all the fertility tx. Fingers crossed the situation changes soon, who knows you might see the perfect children in BMP, like Sarah says hang in there.

Kylie, good news on your course. I think you're right it does seem a bit mean that we have to pay for our own medicals but from what I've experienced from the Social Services so far they don't like to make it easy for us. It's like "How badly do you want a family?".

Our SW has had to postpone next week's appointment so we're having two the week after, nothing like a quiet restful week! I think she's trying to fit as many in as she can before she goes on holiday in August so she can tick off her job quota. In the meantime I'm going to carry on with the non child friendly activities, a volleyball tournament in Bath next weekend (less volleyball more ^drunk^!) and Rome the weekend after (really looking forward to that one).

Hope everyone else is well.
love
Cindy


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## everhopeful

Hi Karen

Sorry to hear about your setback. Just hold on in there.
(sw's dont know what they are talking about!!)

^group^


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## LizzyB

Karen ~ how frustrating for you and DH........i know it shouldn't be too easy to prove your commitment etc etc.........but they really seem to flaff about. I hope they sort you with a match soon,

Take care, Lizzy xxx


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## Jayne

Hello. I don't often post on this board, but I do read it from time to time, and I just wanted to say, Karen, how very sorry I am that this has happened. I hope you get a good news again really soon. 

Love 

Jayne x


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## Laine

Karen

Sorry to hear about your setback.

Hang in there ... you will both get good news soon.

Laine x


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## Clarabel

Boomerang girl said:


> initially he said he would only consider a toddler or baby. the further we go the stronger and more open he gets. he is my rock.
> kylie
> x


Hi, how's things. I just wanted to know if this has presented any problems for you in the process? Ideally I would like a baby, but as we know how difficult that is we could consider older children. My husband has always preferred children from toddlers onwards so would prefer a slightly older child, but he wouldn't *refuse* a baby. Although you say your partner has now opened out a bit, are the authorities funny about this at all, you know, cos his initial preference is for a baby then maybe they would say they won't offer an older child? I almost don't want to be honest in case S/S take it too literally!


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## Suzie

hi

just wanted to say sorry to hear of your setback karen
I really hope you get good news soon !

take care
suzie aka olive


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## Boomerang girl

hi clarabel,
I think it is all part of the process, working out what is right for you. they actively encouraged everyone on the open evening to consider older children but did say that you should unltimately only say what you would feel happy with as that is best for you and then the children in the long run. we are at such an early stage of the official process, and I think the training days and social worker visits are all about really exploring what you have to offer and what would be right, so considering different possibilities at an early stage, would, I think, demonstrate adaptability, openness and flexibility which are all strengths we are told they look for in adopters.
good luck.
kylie 
p.s. i am certainly no expert so this is all just my view from our initial experiences.


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi there ladies,

got some news, although not sure if it is real progress or not yet! So, me and DH half way through homestudy and SW thinks we're going at a great pace and should be finished in a couple of months. So when BMP came out yesterday I decided to be a bit cheeky, and phoned up to enquire about 2 children that have been in there for the last few issues. I really thought I'd be told to go away and come back when passed by panel, but not at all! Their SW is now getting in touch with our SW to see if it might be a good match and if they think so, they'll come visit us before we go to panel to check us out for themselves! I'm telling myself not to get too excited as it'll probably all fall apart, but i have to admit to being a little excited!! .......any advice about anything very welcome! (especially about my excitement levels! ie should I calm right down)

Will let you know if anything comes of it all,
XXRuth.


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

Been away for a few days so just catching up with everyone. 

Ruth - good news about the BMP. I looked as soon as we got back today and have rung for one set of siblings. I have left a message with my SW to speak to her tomorrow. Not holding my breath though after the last time but feel a bit more positive by being proactive - good luck.

Kylie - my dh opened up alot more as the process went along too, I think it was as his understanding grew about what we were letting ourselves in for. Your medicals are v expensive. Glad the info evening was good. How long are you off to Aus for? Hope the timings for the course etc work out.

Clarabel - before you go to panel you have to have made some big decisions about the age, gender (if you want to state a preference) and circumstances of the children you would be prepared to adopt, as Kylie says, you do this throughout the course and home study so over about 6-9 months, so the decisions you made will have been threased out numrous times by then!!. Once you are approved then you will only be matched with children in this category. If you change your mind, then you have to be reapporved for the new age range.

Cindy - have a good time in Bath and Rome. We didn't end up getting a late deal in the end, just took the tent to Devon but I look like I have been abroad as I have developed a nice tan (unusual for me in the UK, as I normally burn and peel here!)

Well not much else from me. Will be speaking to my SW tomorrow about these two in BMP (Ruth - I hope they are not the same pair!!) but I am not getting too excited by it after last time.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Guys,
A quick intro from me one this tread. Dh and i have under gone 6 IVfs, 1 +ive which ended in MC but are now very happy to be on our new journey to parent hood Adoption  

So far. Info evening 10/6/04
Prep groups 30/6, 7/7 and 14/7.

last prep group yesterday, hopeing to start home study asap 

looking forward to shareing the highs and lows with you all 


MSW.xxxx


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## KarenM

Welcome MSW

I will add you to our list. I hope you find the process is filled with lots of highs and that you get your dream as soon as possible.

Hope you get allocated your SW soona dn you can start the next steps.

Good luck
Love
Karen x


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi Karen,

what area are you're two from? 

hope it goes well this time,
XRuth.


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## KarenM

Hi Ruth

We are in the Midlands. We have enquired about sibling group C4 (pg 21). Our SW has contacted their SW today and they have had an overwhelming response so not getting my hopes up. What about you?

Karen x


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi Karen,

I'm at work at mo, but will have a look at your two later when i get home. We're in Bath so the south west consortium....which is frustratingly small, and they currently all seem a lot older than we'd hoped for. the two i enquired about were in the london area (L37 I think off the top of my head....) lots of connection cos I'm white and irish and many of my family members are black....in fact all my nieces and nephews to date are of mixed race/dual heritage....whatever the PC term is today! So lots of scope for supporting/reflecting mixed race children.

I wasn't sure how much to ask you.....but I'm sure referring to their ref no. isn't being too indiscrete is it??

I haven't heard anything from either social worker yet today.....too early I'm sure! Will keep you posted.

XXRuth.


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## Bev H

Dear Karen
Sorry you have had this delay - what IS going on It's not fair to you, but hang on in there, they'll be with you soon.
Lots of love Bev H xxx

Good luck ladies xxx


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## Boomerang girl

hi all. I rang kent adoption on thurs as i got fed up with wondering how long it would take to get a reply. apparently we will be assigned a social worker this week, then it will depend on when they take their hols etc as to when we get our initial visit. don't know if that means we are on the november prep course or not!!!
it seems to go ever so slowly down here. i read the baaf recommendations- 8 months from initial enquiry to panel, well at this rate we are looking at 7 months from initial application to the flippin prep course in november, thats if we get on that one, and then the home study- 4-6 months. i know i shouldn't stress and the longer it takes the more money we save, but dh keeps saying things like- surely i mustve considered the financial implications, lifestyle changes etc. he also isn't that confident they will want us as we can't offer a long term model of him working 9-5 and me at home full time. it will be shared care between us with him doing shifts including some weekends. will that make us undesirable?
good luck with the bmp kids you two. by the way bev- what is the crest all about?
oh, i am off to aus from the 25th july to 18th aug. my mum and dad bought me a plane ticket cause they miss me. this shouldn't affect much- although i have been told to contact the adoption team around the 12th to find out who my social worker is and arrange the initial visit and dh isn't all that flash at that stuff, so I might do it via email. I hope we may get the initial visit at the end of august when i am still off work but have been told to ring because in the words of the P.A. at the office- new applications are not a priority for SWs when they return from leave to a stack of paperwork. not very reassuring!
kylie


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## everhopeful

Hello ladies!

Just thought I'd add my latest.... we're finishing our prep course next week and have already been allocated a SW. So hopefully that means home study is next! (Fingers crossed anyway)

Can anyone tell me how many home visits I should expect and over how long (ie. 1 per week, 1 per month etc)
Feeling nervous and excited - seems to be moving alot quicker than we'd imagined!

Good luck to MSW who I know is at similar stage to me! Is anyone else about to start home study?
Are there any tips anyone can give to prepare!!!!!

Cheers!


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## Pooh bears mummy

Hi there Everhopeful,
Yes it looks like we are both at the same stage. We finished our prep groups last week and was told we would be called in 2 weeks to be allocated a SW to start the home study  Ring phone Ring!!!!!!!!!!

I too was wondering about the process? How many visits and how often etc, so any of you guys out there that have already done the home study, if you could enlighten us it would be great. 

Have you read any good books yet?

Ohhhhhhhhh i am just getting so excited and also nervous. What about you?^thumbsup^

Chat soon MSW.xxxxxx


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## KarenM

Here's our latest list - hope I've got everyone at the right stages.

Karen: Panel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match. Identified one group in BMP. Waiting to hear if we can be their Mummy and Daddy.

Cindy: Currently doing home assessment

Carol: Currently doing home assessment

Ann: Currently doing home assessment

Ruth: Currently doing home assessment

Ang: Course completed awaiting allocation of SW

Everhopeful: Course nearly completed and awaiting allocation of SW

Jo: Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW

Mandy (MSW): Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW

Nat: Awaiting allocation of SW

Kylie: Awaiting allocation of SW, prep course November?

Angel: Open evening July

Homer & Marge: Just starting out


love
Karen x


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## KarenM

Everhopeful and Mandy

I think we've all come to discover that SW's work in different ways    so please don't take this as gospel.

We started our home assessment in November (so bear in mind we had Xmas in between time) and went to panel in April. You have to allow 2 weeks before the panel date for your paperwrok to be copied and sent out for the panel to read.

During our home study we had 9 visits, some were weekly others more spread out. 6 of those were together. 1 was for our individual visits and then I met with the SW to put the finishing touches to all of our paperwork.

Due to my holiday and SW's holiday in Feb we couldn't get everything done for the March panel so we did have quite a bit of time when nothing was happening but we knew where we were.

Hope this helps.

Kylie - I hope you hear soon from the SW. Do you get allocated one before you do the course then?

The BAAF are only recommended timescales. We have been in the process since Jan last year. Some of the delays have been down to us (i.e due to holidays) and others have been down to Social Services. Here's how things have worked out for us.

- Registered interest in Jan 2003
- Had initial SW visit and checks done in Feb 2003
- Were offered a course for April but were on our hols 
- Did prep course in June 2003
- Had delay of 3 months to be allocated an SW because of an influx of 5-8 year olds in local area (outside the age bracket we are looking to adopt)
- Got allocated an SW in Sept 2003 who then went long term sick.
- Complained bitterly and got reallocated in Nov 2003 (got a good SW)
- Did home from Nov 2003 - March 2004
- Went to panel in April 2004 - approved
- Since then waiting for a match

Good luck
Karen x


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

our timescale thus far has been registered interest and had a preliminary visit in december 2003. Had to wait for 5 months for the prep course (April/May 2003). Started home study in june 2003 and have had 3 visits so far and SW thinks we'll be to panel in a couple of months......although we are her first set of parents to approve for adoption, so she may not be experienced enough to know this for sure.

Karen: C4 adorable....hope you hear something soon.

better get back to work,
XXRuth.


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## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Karen and Ruth,
Thanks so much 4ur replys. As you know we all just want things to move along as quick as possible  but as we also know this is not always the case with SS  

But I am keeping my fingers crossed, so far things have gone really well. Contacted SS May 04 told info evening was 10 June, when along and the told place still available on next prep group with was 30 of June!! 

Had last group last week 14 july. Told SS would call me in 2 weeks to allocate sw, it hasn't been a week yet and i am dying to call them    but i will resist till next week (hee,hee) if all goes to plan we should be aproved by new year.

What age etc are you looking at, we would like 2 children under 4. 

Chat soon Mandyxx


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## everhopeful

Hi Mandy

I know what you mean about being impatient!
Initially we were told that from our first note of interest through to panel will take 9months - 1 year (in our area).
Although we have read of loads of people waiting 2 years etc, we have remained optimistic because once we got started, things just seem to be happening.
Info course 23March, SW visit 05May, Police Checks & Medicals done 12May (Slight wait inbetween but didnt matter cos we had our holiday etc) and then started prep course 07July.
Keeping fingers crossed that things carry on moving as smoothly as they have done - we too are hoping to be at panel in new year. Might seem unrealistic, but we'll have a better idea once we've spoken to our own SW and arranged next step.
Dont forget to think about the possible wait for matching. Someone we know only waited 12 weeks, and yet others are still waiting a year later or more.
Lets hope we are mummy's sooner rather than later!

(We are hoping for 0-2years and will consider a sibling group of 2)

Speak soon x


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## KarenM

Girls

I am having a real dilemma.

When we went to panel, we were approved to adopt a sibling group of 2 under 4's with at least one of them being male. Dh is the one that is more headstrong about wanting a boy. I too would love a son, but just want 2 children regardless of their sex.

Anyway, today the SW has rung and told me about a sibling group, 1 aged nearly 2 and the other 8 months, but both girls. She's asked if we want to consider moving forward with them.

I really want to, perfect ages, get to do some baby stuff and they would fit in with the ages of our friends kids. Only snag is Dh is adamant about the boy thing.

He normally gives in to me when I feel stongly about things and get upset, first of all I don't want him to budge, as if he is not 100% behind it, then it is not right for the kids, but equally I could kill him right now.

I've gone from being on such a high earlier today to feeling so low. 

We've got until Thursday to think about it so I will give him some cooling off time tomorrow to ponder. So I could be posting about a definite match tomorrow or us being back to where we were first thing this morning. 

Hope everyone else is ok

Love
Karen x


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## *Kim*

Oh Karen i really hope that the right decision will happen for you.

I have to say i have always wanted a daughter but now i have Joe i wouldnt swap him for the world. I hope Rich can work this out. You never know the two girls could give you lots of grandsons.

Love Kimx x x


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## Boomerang girl

just a quick sign off to everyone for the next few weeks. I am off to Australia until 18th august so hope evrything goes well for you all while i am away.
speak soon,
kylie


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## Mel

Karen

I really feel for you going through this dilemma, i hope you can both come to the right decision, at the end of the day you have to both be able to accept these girls.

And as Kim says all those grandsons you could have.

Lots love

Mel

x x


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## mmmbop

Hi karen,
just wanted to say I really hope you can sort this out,you have gone through so much,it has to be right, have you seen a picture,to melt a potential daddies heart.
good luck,
love mmmbop,xx


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## everhopeful

Karen

What a dilemma! Sounds like such a perfect match aswell!

All I can say, is that we've always thought that we'd like at least one girl, and it has crossed my mind, what would I do if we were presented with a sibling group of 2 boys. I honestly think that if it came down to it, I would have to say to myself - what is more important, having a family, full stop, or waiting, maybe indefinately for the "right" sex? I think Id opt for 2 boys, if the match was right for me. I suppose there's always the argument of couples who have birth children who long for a certain sex baby, do they love their child any less if its not their preferred choice?

It can only be decided by Rich and yourself. Hoping those 2 little girls can maybe realise their dream of getting a wonderful Mum & Dad!

Thinking of you, let us know how you get on.

xx


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## Clarabel

Hi, excuse my lack of knowledge but I am just new to all this. What is the prep course? I have read everything I can get my hands on so far yet I have never seen this before and loads of you are talking about them. Thanks!


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## SueL

Karen, really hope that you and Rich can decide together how to move forward with your decision.

Good luck and thinking of you.

Love Sue
xxx


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## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Karen,
WOW that sound just FAB to little girls, just the right age etc, but i know you really want DH to be 100% 

Sit down tonight with a nice bottle of wine and discuss all the issues and i am sure by the end you will have both come to the right decision. 

Can't wait to here your news tomorrow.

Hugs Mandyx


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## everhopeful

Hi clarabel!

In answer to your question - prep course I think differs slightly depending on where you live, but basically we have had 3 seperate full days of "preperation" (as the name suggests). Each day has been a week apart from the next. On the days, we've met up with other couples in the same boat (which is nice as it is), with social workers heading the meetings, lots of discussions and thought provoking items - including videos and guest speakers. We have found them invaluable. We have learnt alot about the process and whats involved. Very interesting listening to talks from adoptive parents/birth parents/adopted people - some of the storys are really heart warming.
We've had ours before home study - think it's different everywhere.
But Im sure you'll find them worthwhile.

Good luck with yours!!

S x


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## KarenM

*  He said YES!!!  *

I am ringing the SW later today to tell her and find out what happens next. Will post more news later.

Love
Karen x


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## sunfish

Great news Karen 

Good luck with the SW, so exciting   

love & hugs

Camilla


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## keemjay

Hey Karen - you dont know me but I follow this thread avidly as I think that we may turn to the adoption road in time. I'm so excited to hear your news and so pleased dh has made his decision - I was thinking about it in bed last night (i do live and breathe this site!!) and just knew that when it came to the crunch he would see this opportunity as the right one, all men secretly hope for a little boy i think, but in reality they always love whatever gift they are given at the moment of birth. After all you cant shove them back in and say 'i'll wait for a bit longer for a boy please'. Adoption isnt really that much different in that respect - this is the gift you (hopefully) will be given and if its right, its right whatever the sexes.
ooh this is a bit deep and meaningful for this time of the morning - hope you dont mind me putting my twopence worth in
I'm so pleased for you two and cant wait to hear the next bit of news! 

take care

kimj xx


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## mmmbop

YIPPPEEEEEEEEEE 
           

Fantastic news karen and DH, good luck with everything!!!


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## SueL

Oh Karen

I'm thrilled that the man in your life, he say YEAH!

Have a wonderful day today, good luck with the s/w call and can't wait to hear more later!

Love Sue
xxxxxxxx


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## Bev H

Oh Karen
I am over the moon for you both, so glad he came to senses!!! (Knew he would).
Kimj's words summed it up for me too! 
I am sooooo excited and happy for you the tears are flowing. I'll be back later, YIPPPPPEEEEEEEE.       ^
Love Bev H xxxxx


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## Mrs Chaos

Hi
Karen that's FAB news hon!
Angel
XX


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## KarenM

Hi everyone

Thank you all for your goodluck messages.

Well, having spoken to the social worker I’ve gone from a real high  to a bit of a low again . Apparently there is another couple in the area who also fit the criteria and so there will be a panel to decide who would be the best match for the children’s interests. 

Because of the timescales involved with the preliminary stuff that has to happen before this panel and the deadlines for the paperwork and then holidays etc, it is more than likely the panel won’t happen until October. So even if we are chosen it will be late October/early November before we got to meet them.

She is going to read all of their paperwork and ring me on Tuesday with more info. I did find out their names today, which was a bit of a relief because I had visions of one being the same as is ex-wife !!!

I'll keep you all posted and I am staying positive  as if it does not work out with these, there will always be more (seems a bit weird saying that, because these things shouldn't happen to children in the first place, but at least they will coming into our loving household) 

Thanks again
Love
Karen x


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## SueL

Karen.......... gggggrrrrrrrrrrrr how much more waiting!

I guess it's typical in this world though isn't it.......

Glad you found out the names AND that they aren't the same as Rich's ex!

Keep positive Karen, you and Rich will have your children soon!

Love Sue
xxxxxx


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## everhopeful

^thumbsup^ BRILLIANT NEWS KAREN!!  Sorry you have to wait again
but just maybe it'll be worth it this time!

Keep us informed!!

S X


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## *Kim*

Oh Karen

I am so pleased Rich said YES 
But the Sw needs to know that you and Rich ARE the right couple for the girls.
I know they have to get these things right but all this time. Tell them holidays are cancelled till they get the girls placed with you. AND QUICK.

Really hope they do choose you and they get a move on.

Love Kimx x x


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## Fee

Dear Karen

SO very pleased for you both that DH said YES!! Fantastic. 

Now you have the nailbiting part to see if you are selected. Really hope that these two wee girls get you as their super new Mummy and Daddy.

Fee xxxxx


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## cindyp

Karen, what can I say, I've been offline this week and have only just found out your news. I'm so pleased that you've been matched up and so annoyed that you have to go through yet more frustration. The ages sound great, big finger crossing that the panel realise how great you and Rich are and give you your two daughters. Like you say it's best to stay positive.

Well we've just had our second meeting with the SW this week, there's been lots of cramming because of holidays. She reckons that we should go to panel around September/October time. I've got my medical this afternoon which I'm preparing for by eating a bag of crisps!!!! I'm still a bit miffed about all this pigeon holing that they do. My mixed ethnicity is such a tiny part of who I am, but they do seem to fixate on us being a "mixed race couple". She mentioned in passing that they may have to look outside of the area because they have no mixed race children in Staffordshire.
As Lee is 100% white english and I am 75% white english it does seem a little like overkill. Don't get me wrong I would be perfectly happy with a mixed race child it's just I don't think it would be fair to limit our options purely to mixed race children and I keep getting the feeling that that's the way they are going about things, just because I have a dark complexion. 

Anyway enough whinging, we're off to Rome this weekend. Not quite as long a break as Kylie's visit to Australia but I'm sure it will be good.

Hope everyone else is well.

love
Cindy


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## Dee

New home this way ........

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/*********/index.php?board=19;action=display;threadid=10705;start=0#lastPost

Love
Dee
xxx


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