# 40 and just starting the IVF journey



## lisascrv (Dec 20, 2009)

HI everyone

I'm fairly new to the site and thought I would post on this thread as I'm 40 at the moment (41 in May) and have only just started out on the IVF journey.
My DH is 46 and had a vasectomy reversal done in October which unfortunately has not worked   so ICSI is the only way forward for us.
We have our first appointment at the Ocean Suite in Plymouth on 22 January. I've heard that the waiting list is quite long there even though we are going private as we do not qualify for NHS funding.
Feel that time is slipping away and before long we will be 'too old'.
If anyone can give us any advice or guidance that would be great.

Thanks

Lisa


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## alegria (Dec 10, 2007)

Hi Lisa  
Just wanted to say welcome to FF & good luck!!
Alegria


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## sydaloka (Jun 22, 2009)

hi,

I would be aware that success rates among clinics vary a lot and you may want to choose a clinic that gives you the best chances.

You may want check out http://www.hfea.gov.uk/fertility.html. The highest success rates in the UK are at UCH and AGRC.

Good luck.


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## Unique (Nov 25, 2009)

*Lisa* welcome to FF and to the world of IVF. I too like you are also embarking on this journey at the age of 40, when is the question since we live in Canada and must pay out of pocket for it.

Anyway just wanted to offer you the best as you gear up for your consult.

Blessings.


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## lisascrv (Dec 20, 2009)

well I had my appointment today, feeling a bit down as no where nearer starting or even thinking of starting a cycle. The lady doctor there was very nice and went through all options available to us but as DH has no sperm we have to decide which method we want to use for sperm retreval. PESA / TESA or MESA. PESA and TESA are in our price range but as he has had all the other problems they seem to think that MESA would be the best way forward but that costs another £2500 on top of the the icsi cost which we just haven't got.
PESA / TESA will only be an additional £500. DH seems to think it's worth trying them first and hope and pray they find something.
Also the waiting list is 4-6 months for the icsi procedure to start then it can take another 2-3 months on top of that depending on what protocol your put on.
and to top it all my AMH results still aren't back.
Feeling that a little someone is still trying to tell me it will never be.
Why is life sooo unfair.

x


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## bizi5 (Mar 29, 2009)

Lisa - sorry things are moving slowly and looking more complicated than you had thought  . Unfortunately it is not easy to get pg at our age - I have to say that I think it is crucial to be at a good clinic where they have good experience and success with over 40s. I can see that you are down in the West Country and I'm sure travelling could be an issue, but Tx costs so much, you need to feel confident that your money will be well-spent and give you the greatest chance of success. Look up your clinic's stats on the HFEA website and compare with others.

I would also recommend the Lister in London as one of the top three for over-40s (in fact I think it beats ARGC in this age group) - and that's despite taking on a lot of ladies who are turned down by other clinics.

Wishing you lots of luck
xxx


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## TTC2010 (Feb 7, 2010)

Hi

Hello Lisa - think you're just a few months ahead of me on this. your post gave me the courage to write on a forum for the first time ever 

Please excuse me if i don't get all of the forum etiquette! i am 40 and DH is 39, we've been TTC since October 06, just after we married. we've just been referred to Bourn Hall and are waiting for our first appointment. tests have shown that our non-conception is unexplained at the moment. feeling very nervous and a bit weepy today! we live in Channel Islands so have to go private and am told that it'll be about £5k per try. I'm not really sure what will happen at our first appointment so any advice is welcomed. thanks in advance for your support.


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## ElsieF (Nov 26, 2009)

TTC - yes, it seems to cost around 5K for relatively straightforward ivf just about anywhere you go. prices seem to vary within a few £100's here and there. Generally it is about £3k for a cycle + £1.2 (for me anyway) for the drugs. before the first cycle you need to do the tests and scans which come to a few hundred, I think our first cycle inc tests came to £4,800. Then after the first, you start choosing 'extras' like assisted hatching etc. which also come to a few hundered, so our second came to £4,600. 
Sperm issues can add a grand or 2 on top.. so it all adds up pretty quickly!
Most clinics (in the uk) seem to be pretty rubbish at telling you all this from the start.

Lisa - remember you are *only* 40. So hey, you have to join the 'over 40's' forum,   but so far it is not you that has the fertility issue. have you thought about donor sperm? I know it is a bit of a jump, but lots of girls in the 'donor' area of this site are going through the issues..

 to all of us!

elcf


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## Lulu-belle (Nov 5, 2009)

Hi Lisa, TTC I just wanted to add my voice of support to you  both. 
It is more difficult at our age to get pregnant but there are so many other factors other then age and science is coming along like a steam train in this area.

LISA I agree with elcfoxy Have you and your other half considered donor sperm?  It might be an idea jsut to introduce the idea and see how you both feel about it 
And for both of you LISA,TTC have you thought about going abroad?  I can sometimes be cheaper with shorter waiting times. It is worth looking into and alot of the women on this forum have opted for that direction. We are planning that route and are going wth a clinic in Italy but there are lots of good wel established ones out there across the globe


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## lisascrv (Dec 20, 2009)

HI

Lulu-belle and elfc

Thank you very much for your posts and kind advice. Unfortunately we are no longer in the running for IVF as when my AMH results came back they were so low the clinic only gave less than 5% chance of success. DH has had two more SA since my last post one showed nothing and we are still waiting for the second to come back but are not holding up much hope of it being any difference to last time.
We have discussed the use of donor sperm but have both decided that it is not for us.
I wish you both the best in your TTC journeys and hope you get your BFPs soon.
AS for me I can only hope and pray for a miracle.

Best wishes


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## bizi5 (Mar 29, 2009)

Lisa, so sorry that your test results have been looking gloomy  . I just wanted to let you know that at it's lowest, my AMH was 0.7 - and you can see from my signature what my outcome has been. At my clinic (Lister) they use the AMH result to judge your dose of stim drugs and do not use it as an absolute measure of your response.

I would really urge you to think about having a consultation at a really good clinic before thinking of giving up - either ARGC or Lister in the UK or one of the really good European clinics such as Jinemed, Reprofit or Serum. 

I know I am only addressing the issues on your side, but have you got info from the MF threads too to see if there are other options for you there.

I hope I'm not speaking out of turn but hate the thought of what you are facing but perhaps without having had the best professional advice possible.

Really hope that things can work out for you somehow

xxx


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## Every cloud.... (Mar 29, 2010)

Hi Lisa 

Just wanted to add my little voice to this thread. Please don't give up hope but as a plan B ( I always find it helps to have a Plan B...and possibly a plan C!) investigate the option of sperm donor.

It's the bringing up of the baby that matters not the DNA...

Best wishes


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## smilingandwishing (Apr 24, 2010)

Lisa,

I am at the Lister - after two of my friends ( one of whom hs a husband with fertility problems) and one has PCOS and is in her early 40s - both had successful treatment which led to pregnancy last year.

One had been told by another clinic that she had near enough no chance of conceiving because of AMH results.

I would really urge you just to have a consultation.  They would accept all of your test results from the clcinic you're already at ( they are valid for 6 months I think - maybe a year).  This is such an important thing for you that a second opinion might help you at least be certain that you have done all you can do and stop some of the doubt.

My heart really goes out to you - I really hope that you find a way forward.  

Smiling xxxx


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## Kateu (Mar 22, 2010)

Hi Lisa

We're with Ocean Suite and had a very negative experience there as well. The dr was very dismissive whereas Treliske have been lovely. We got there and about the 1st thing he said was are we having donor sperm as back up (DH had a vasectomy centuries ago and we were advised to go straight to icsi)? We were completely unprepared for this as it has never been questioned before that he wouldn't be producing any sperm. I got as far as the car park before I burst into tears. Anyway, we decided to go for it (we did suggest sperm retrieval and freezing before EC but that was dismissed out of hand as well) and pointed out to the dr that we maybe wasting our money but no more than if the eggs don't fertilise or implant or a miscarriage. (We are paying their wages so they should be nicer to us!)

As for a low AMH, we were told about a lady who had a very low AMH at Treliske, produced about 2 eggs, both fertlised and 1 implanted so there is always hope. Don't give up: maybe try a second opinion from Bristol or Exeter.

Good luck and lots of 

Kate


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## Lulu-belle (Nov 5, 2009)

Hi Lisa

I just wanted to echo what everyone is saying on this thread DONT GIVE UP! as you can see from all these entries clinics and doctors can vary wildly from place to place, and can upon occasion provide for a negative experience. And as in my case and the case of many others give false information and be very discouraging. Do a bit of research and go for a second consultation at a clinic you trust. I too have read alot on this thread with woman becoming pregnant despite low amh. I see no reason why any of your test results should be show stoppers. We are booked into the Fertility Academy to see Dr Gorgy in a few weeks time and if you look at the threads here there is nothing but good reviews I have found so far. Will let you know how we get on but really plse dont give up!   Ok to pray for a miracle but also give it a little helping hand!


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