# known donors dilemma



## dsmlink (Jul 22, 2005)

Hi 
After 5 failed IVF cycles we are wondering about egg donation as a possible next step.  
I feel very strongly that if we were to go down this route then our child should have a right to know who their genetic mother is and be able to contact them at 18 if they want to (in same way as adoption) Just wondered if anyone out there is like me and wanting a known donor?  I know that this is the law in this country but understand that the waiting lists are years and we dont have this waiting time due to DH's age.  
Anyone else have the same dilemma - wanting to do things quickly but wanting a known donor?  I have heard that in the US, known donors are more common?  anyone know anything about this or any other countries where it is easy to get donors? 
any help welcomed 
thanks 
Sarah


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## olivia m (Jun 24, 2004)

Hi Sarah
I think there are many people now who realise that it is important for a child to be able to have information about or potentially have contact with their donor and it is not necessarily true that waiting lists are years long in the UK.  There are several ways in which you might expedite the process - the first is being a recipient on an egg sharing programme.  Not all clinics do this but large numbers do these days and waiting lists are much shorter than for a single altruistic donor.  Not that sharers are not altruistic!  It is true that their main motivation for sharing may be getting their IVF treatment free but research has shown that many women are actually very happy to share their eggs as they understand the longing for a child.  Another way is to recruit a donor from within your family or circle of friends or work mates.  This donor could give eggs directly to you (thus becoming a 'known' donor) or they could give to someone else at your clinic, putting you to the top of the waiting list for another altruistic donor.  'Phone around, find out what real rather than mythical waiting lists are like and contact the National Gamete Donation Trust for help if you decide to try to recruit a donor yourself.
Don't give up.  If this is something important for you I am sure you will find a way to make it happen.
Very best of luck
Olivia


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

You are allowed to have known donors with sperm, as I am usig this route, but I went to the clinic with my donor as a pair.  People are going with friends and sisters, and use their eggs, so known donors already exist.

Best of luck 
L xx


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