# Is 2nd round easier or harder?



## chadwick13 (Jun 30, 2010)

Sorry, but this is another 'what happens next' post. 
Me and dh had our first (unsuccessful) round of IVF in October. I didn't respond brilliantly to the drugs, and produced 7 eggs, 5 of which fertilised. We put 2 back, but they had stopped developing and the strongest was a grade 2, 5 cell. We're due to try again in March-April.

Although we always knew it was an outside chance that we would be successful, I never anticipated quite how badly we'd feel afterwards. DH took it really badly, but now seems quite able to move on, whereas I'm still a tearful wreck. Since our ivf failed, a work colleague has had twins, our best friend has had a son, and yesterday another friend announced they were expecting (they've only been trying since early December!)

We have a friend who had 4 unsuccesful rounds of IVF, and she is so strong. She say she had to stop, get on with her life and accept that she'd never have her own children. Problem is, I'm nowhere near ready to do that. I reacted soo badly to the last round, I'm terrified that if the 2nd one fails, it'll be even worse. 

Sorry for the 'me' post. We had our chat and plan yesterday, on the same day that our friends son was born, and another announced they were pregnant. It's just all come flooding back.


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## sparkleysophie (Aug 4, 2005)

Hi there,
I am sorry you were unsuccessful this time. You mentioned about your response to the drugs and embryo grade... try not to worry too much. My experience has been 3 eggs then 6 eggs then 3 eggs for each of my fresh cycles so you have a bigger number on me. Also the second time round your cons will have a better idea of how you respond and so next time you may get even more. Our embryo's have always been 'grade 2' and on the last cycle I don't think this was even mentioned. Just to say there are many people who have grade 2 or 3 embryos that stick and many who have the perfect grade embryo and it still doesn't work.
I am not surprised you are so upset and we all take different amounts of time to deal with it and move on. You never forget what you have been through but you will feel strong enough to decide what to do next and go for it again. It is so so hard when others around you are pregnant. My brother always seemed to announce his pregnancies at the start of our ICSI cycles and we have been trying longer than they've been together - so hard. And our neighbours all got pregnant v easily and had their's no bother.
As for your friend - she made a brave decision to stop and get on with her life. However I believe firmly that you will know in your heart when the time is right to stop. And that you will only know when your heart's had enough when you know. We almost reached that stage and the last go we had was definately our last fresh go.  You have a lot more info and so does your cons second time round but you need to be ready. Make sure you have the time you need to recover your strength to go again. If you need to hide away from all these babies and pregnancies then do so to get yourself strong again.
These are just my thoughts - you have every reason to feel positive next time. Though I understand that is hard to feel right now. You had one more egg than I have ever had and we have never had a grade one. 
Just wanted to try and make you feel better. Take time to get strong,
Look after yourself and DH,
Big    s,
Sparkley x


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## madeinbelfast (Jan 13, 2011)

Hi

I'm finding it really difficult too & we're in the middle of our 2ww, we test this Friday.  

My 1st round of IVF (NHS funded) started in May & after an initial BFP, we didn't get a heartbeat at the scan so MC at the end of July. 

I was an emotional wreck from August until mid/end November & once the drugs started I was better...until now.  

DH & I had a counselling session in Nov & I had another session today.  It does help.

DH & I made some changes to our diet & lifestyle from mid Nov after we read Marylin Glenville's 'Getting Pregnant Faster' book.

We started taking fertility plus/ omega 3/ vitamin c supplements, no alcohol/ decaffeinated /fizzy /fruit juice drinks, reduced meat, increased fish (me only, DH hates fish!).  I stopped yoga & Pilate's (from end of Dec), started acupuncture before EC /ET and following ET (while listening to Zita West's CD) & continued with gentle walking post ET.

Let me know if any of these tips help although I don't know if they have improved our situation...yet!

We've been TTC since 2005 & have both been diagnosed with unexplained infertility (I've had 2 polyps & 1 cyst removed).

Unfortunately the baby /adoption news doesn't get any easier - be grateful that you have each other to share this difficult journey with.

Keep in touch x


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## gerry42 (Feb 13, 2009)

Sorry your 1st attempt didn't work     .  I remember that feeling of sickness in the belly, the none stop crying and wondering when it's your turn for a baby. Life just feels awful and almost as if it has stopped.

Try to look on it as a positive omen that your friends had happy news on the day of your "Chat and Plan", it's the start of your journey to been able to give your joyous news.     .

Although it's really hard to take, most women don't get pregnant on their first attempt, and as you know 2,3,or 4 cycles are needed. 

Try not to compare yourself with your poor friend who has had the 4 failures. She has been through her personal journey and has bravely moved on.  Different people react differently to the circumstances life throws at them.  You are still very early in your I.V.F. journey and a maximum of positive energy and thought is needed to get you your BFP and beyond.

I hope you can understand what I am saying.  My 1st BFN and my 2nd BFN were the most awful moments of my life and you never think you can recover from that, but there is hope as many of the wonderful ladies on site have proved, you have to believe that one day it will be you.     

Thinking of you and hoping the spring brings you the news you deserve

Love Gerry xxx


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## madeinbelfast (Jan 13, 2011)

I've some good news on IVF #2, I'm PG - got a BFP this morning.

I'm delighted, shattered from the lack of sleep last night (pre & post OTD) & hoping to see a heartbeat at the 1st scan in 3 weeks.

Fingers crossed. x


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## sparkleysophie (Aug 4, 2005)

FANTASTIC news madeinbelfast    - all the best for your scan,
Take good care of yourself,
  and    ,
Sparkley x


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## madeinbelfast (Jan 13, 2011)

Thanks sparkleysophie.  Wishing you & your little one on-board good health & every happiness in your pregnancy. x


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