# Dreams



## Miss pooh (May 26, 2013)

Hiya, 

All of a sudden I have started having dreams about stuff. A friend of a friend had a baby recently. I'm not really close to her, but I am to her family! If that makes any sense. If I'm totally honest I've been avoiding going around in case they are there. So now I'm dreaming about going around and she's there, the babay is there,it's awkward and she actually hugs me and leaves because she feels sorry for us. 

Anyway tried to talk about it today with DH and felt a bit brushed off. 

Anyone else get the same?


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## kappa (Dec 4, 2012)

I get weird dreams too and DH doesn't really think it's a big deal but I believe dreams are our subconscious thoughts coming to the surface with all the stuff we haven't dealt with during the day time. Saw from your signature you're doing counselling are you still attending it and what do you think? I've been thinking of trying it. X


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## Miss pooh (May 26, 2013)

Hi Kappa, 

The counselling is ok, only been once so far, but agreed we will be going back. Alot of it was common sense but also, considered each of our background and what support networks we have around us. Talked about telling, talking, the future, the past, how our treatment so far has gone. 2.5 hours, a lot longer than we were supposed to be there. 

She has a busy schedule so will need to start thinking about booking another session. 

Xx


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## kappa (Dec 4, 2012)

Thats good that you found it useful. Hope the dreams stop soon. I was having trouble getting over to sleep and recently downloaded a wee app that plays different chimes wind rain etc. Prob not everyones cup of tea but you could give it a go and see if it makes a difference. I think when my brains focused on something different before falling asleep I don't dream as much x


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## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

Hi sometimes very strangely I find it better to put myself in that situation. My partners brother had a baby and I dreamt of seen them and his brothers gf is the centre of attention sort of person and dreamt about how horrible I'd find it to see them. It was very awkward at first and there was Times we felt so left out cause all attention was on them but when I faced it I new how I'd react when each time I saw them and if I wanted to step outside or play on my phone to avoid contact I would. My partner is very good at brushing tho vs away and very hard to talk to so I know how that feels and it is a man thing they tend to go into their little man cave when they don't want to talk which is hard on us. My advice is do what you feel is comfortable for you! Perhaps test the water to see how you react and if you think it's too difficult pull away a little I'm sure they'd understand. I did counselling for 12 weeks and it helped a ton just finally been able to talk and cry was amazing. You'll get there


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## Miss pooh (May 26, 2013)

Hiya, 

I have that app already Kappa!   I've had it for a while because I used to have trouble sleeping before. It's more of a trouble getting back to sleep once I've woken up due to either dreams or restless sleep.ultimately I end up thinking about the dream or everything else. I might try headphones for it coz DH wouldn't be chuffed at " grandma's fireplaces" being chimed out in the middle of the night.   Either that or a decaf cuppa, that sometimes works. 

Thanks tinker bell, I know men will be men, but it was very obvious. Didn't even try to hide the fact he just didn't want to talk about it. Completely changed the subject. Then afterwards came back and said, " what we're you saying about dreams?" So totally didn't get I was having a weird moment and needed to talk. It is difficult because I want to visit them, but I knwo ( because it's happened already) that the baby will be thrust in my direction for a " cuddle". Like you say there are times where I handle it better and days where I just to say no, but can't out of politeness.


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## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

That sounds very much like my partner too he'll change the subject then never mention it again. I've had babies thrust my way for cuddles it's really awkward. My cousin had a baby 7 weeks ago and when I went to visit all my family were there so I thought I was safe everyone was giving cuddles they'll forget me but oh no she was thrown my way and very red faced I held her and everyone was was watching. If a baby is pushed on me I make a have a cold excuse or I need the loo excuse. I even get out my phone to play on just so they don't ask, it's a horrible situation to be in. A man needs a good telling of mine got one last night for not listening not sure if it worked though


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## kappa (Dec 4, 2012)

Lol miss pooh Yeh def need earphones for that!!


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## Miss pooh (May 26, 2013)

Hi tinker bell, 

No you definitely need to say to him, otherwise it's the whole " what's wrong? nothing!" Conversations"  
Seriously though, it's a partnership and whether he likes it or not, you/ he/ you both need to discuss things sometimes. Don't get me wrong, when I need to talk, I actually make a point of saying it's about our treatment /journey and want a serious discussion. He usually listens whether he takes it in or not I don't know. Mines is bad for looking like he's not listening and when I ask if he is he repeats the last few words I have said, like a bloody robot. It makes me laugh sometimes, but when I'm not in the mood it just makes me worse. 

The situation you described is the dream I have been having, everyone looking and watching for what I will do, so I'm dreading that, I won't be able to hide my feelings I don't think when this happens for real, so much has happened since the last baby was around. So I cannot imagine what it was like for you.


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## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

I definitely agree men need a very firm voice.

When I first got out in the situation I cried my eyes out when I got there and dreaded each time I went my dp mums incase the baby was there. The mother would stand smiling like the cat that's got the cream. I'd get out my phone and make it known I was uncomfortable. 
With my cousin I kind of made a few little jokes when the baby was put on me and because I didn't want people to sit there and watching me smiling or feeling uncomfortable I'd make conversation with my cousin and avoid looking at the baby and as soon as I saw my opportunity I'd pass to someone eles or say who's having the cuddle now I'm dying for the loo   I feel a bit more comfortable with them there now because I've become used to it and I think they know how I feel about it, I do r stay long when they are there. Someone on here told me you need to be selfish sometimes to protect your feelings and it is true


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