# Help and advice please!



## joeandwillsmummy (Aug 2, 2008)

Dear all, 

I hope coming to this board is the right place to post this message as I would like some advice about surrogacy.

I have a friend who is going through the IVF route for the third time and we have discussed surrogacy. It is something they would look at should IVF not work for them and they decided they couldn't face another cycle.

I am happy to be a host for them for their biological child.

I have had 2 children, the first after tests, operations and 200mg clomid, and the 2nd was a supposedly impossible natural conception.

I have PCOS and do not have a regular cycle, but we have been told that it wouldn't matter as their embryo would be implanted during an IVF cycle. 

I would like advice on how we go about finding more out about where to go for treatment. I feel keen that all parties involved (including both dh's) have some expert advice and counselling to ensure that we are all happy with what we are undertaking. 

Any advice or opinions about the best way to proceed would be very very much appreciated.

Many thanks to you all, Nicky


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## joeandwillsmummy (Aug 2, 2008)

Dear Lgft,

Many thanks for you reply.... it's nice to have someone be positive about it! Did you find it was quite an easy process once the ball was rolling?

I seem to be really calm, almost excited, about the whole thing if it happens. Obviously for them I hope the IVF works, but should it not and they decide on surrogacy it almost seems 'natural' to offer, and do this for them. 

They live very close to us so it might be very helpful to look into the groups you mentioned.

There are so many questions, mostly trivial I suppose, that I would want discussed before any baby was coming as our friendship is too important to risk simply because we're all unclear on something.

Thanks again, Nicky


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Hi it's great that you are offering for your friend-I cannot help with the surrogacy questions but I'm on my 5th ivf now de and had various tests for off issues-immune&nk cells.now trying de have looked into surrogacy but don't have someone like you &am single so the law is not on my side!good luck and I'm sure you'll get loads of advice from the lovely ff girls x


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## OD2 (Oct 1, 2007)

I hope that your friends' IVF works out for them, but if it does come to surrogacy for them, it's a really good idea that you're thinking things through before you make an offer of help.  My hubby and I have been really lucky and our baby is due through surrogacy on 9 October and we've had a really smooth ride - e.g. we were successful with our first round of IVF, we're close to our surrogate and her family, with no relationship problems, she's having (so far!) a pretty smooth pregnancy.  Unfortunately, it's not always so simple, so I'd say it's a good thing to post questions on these boards and also consider joining one of the surrogacy organisations so you can make yourself aware of the pitfalls to avoid. As well as a little wish, there are two bigger surrogacy organisations - Surrogacy UK (www.surrogacyuk.org) and COTS (www.surrogacy.org.uk) which have active message boards packed with useful information and  personal experiences. SUK also have regular social events, where you can come along, whether you're a member or  not and chat to people.  I notice you live in Norfolk, and there's going to be one up there on 13 September, so if you're free, do come along - there'll be no pressure to join and it will be a chance to talk informally and get a feel for the whole thing.  The details will appear on the SUK message boards soon, so if you go to the site and ask for a password, you can have a bit of a browse around and see if you fancy it.

Whatever you decide - really good luck to you and your friends!!

Fx


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