# The Wait



## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi Ladies

I don't know how many of you decided to be told when your details went off for a linking as to whether any of you may be able to share your experiences....

In the New Year we decided we wanted to know what was happening and when rather than hearing nothing until a potential match came along.  Our LA do not do competitive matches which I know is lucky, they do a potential match and then have the first meetings with SWs for 1 couple only.  Having just spoken to our SW, we are going forward for almost every linking they have, the only reason not has been location, and everyone is really positive about our form and us, which our SW said was amazing and they very rarely get that.

My biggest problem is dealing with the time scales involved.  It is taking endless weeks for any feedback.  I know they have a lot of forms to read and a lot of things to think about and consider in order to get the right match but they also seem to completely forget about us as human beings that have feelings.

What I'm really after is anyone elses experiences of time scales from being told their details have been put forward to actually having any feedback, whether good or bad??

I prefer the knowing that things are happening rather than thinking the silence means nothing is happening but this waiting lark is soooooooooo hard   

Love
OT x


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi OT

Have already PMed you howevere here is an extra   

xxx


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Hi OT & MJ - My fellow 'ladies in waiting'

I can't offer any advice I'm affraid as I don't receive ANY feedback what-so-ever, for all I know our file has been shoved to the bottom of the pile and wont come out until we've reached the top   (hope thats not true!!)

It sounds very good that you are receiving feedback and it all sounds really positive   So surely it is just a matter of time, but I know that it's just the not knowing how long that piece of string is is the trouble....

I find some weeks/days are tougher than others, some days I can think of how to decorate the nursery and others I don't want to even think of it as there seems no point  

We're in the wrong location with our authority too as we're slap bang in the middle and therefore rules us out for certain cases, our time will come though, it's just VERY VERY hard sitting waiting, it's personal choice of course but I think I prefer the not knowing rather than waiting for the feedback    Could you possibly have a break from the feedback? or suggest a quick update once a month or something

  

Hope we all hear something soon
Kimmy xxx


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## shivster (Jan 17, 2007)

Hi OT

We were approved 02/07 and linked in 07/07 however the official match wasn't confirmed untill 11/07.

I found the initial waiting after panel so awful although ours was mercifully short. I think it's because during homestudy it feels like progress is being made in the form of weekly SW visits and form filling. After panel there is an anti-climax and our agency seemed to go silent. 

Following linking I pestered our SW relentlessly and to be fair to her she did provide all the info she could straight away. We were lucky with regards to SW.  However four months of knowing 'little bear' existed and yet not being able to meet him seemed a bit excessive. However I am pleased to say that post matching panel there is no anti-climax - you wont have time!!!

Wishing you lots of good wishes and all the best for a speedy and successful match!

Shivster xx


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi

Our LA work the same as yours Kimmy - we know they review all children on their books every 2weeks agianst the adopters waiting however i do know they have more adopters then children at the mo!

i know nothing will happen for at least 4 weeks as our SW is on hols end of month.

Massive hugs to all of us "waiters"  

xxx


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi Ladies

Thanks for the support, its good to know I am not the only one struggling with this, though I wish none of us were.

Love
OT x


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi Ladies

 to all

It is now just a "wait" to become a mummy/daddy and not a "what if" as you get with tx (can you tell i am going  now with the wait! )

xxxx


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Hi All

I think you're right Shivster, during HS the time with your sw is so intense and frequent that after panel you feel like you're left hanging  

We've compiled a list of jobs to do around the house before we're matched and slowly we're starting to get bits done.  The 'Nursery' needs decorating, just a nutural colour but it's something that needs doing and is a step in the right direction and I find concentrating on things like that help take my mind off the bigger picture (if that makes sense).

You are right MJ  It WILL happen    

xxxxx


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi

Its a long time since I had to go into the waiting area and with both of our children we didn't wait that long BUT we did have a 13 month wait for the baby we looked after whilst doing concurency and we all know the out come of that one.....at least you do know that your wait will be worth it.

Keeping busy as Kimmy is doing is a good idea. I think I posted a list of things to keep you busy BUT I know at the end of the day all you want is "that" call.

Have you looked in Be My parent or children who wait?  There might not be a suitable match in those but it gives you a rough idea of the kind of children who are out there waiting to be adopted.

Our DS was in Be My parent but we didn't know, we had been matched to him before his photo could be stopped from being printed. (They had a huge response to him & I did feel sorry for people who had rung up and enquired about him )

Do any of you still attend or been invited to attend support groups with prospective adopters, ours were once every month and it was good to talk to other people face to face who were in the same boat as ourselves.  it also gave US an opportunity to pester..I mean chat to our SW about any possible links! 

Love & hugs to you all   
Andrea
xx


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi Kimmy

Like you we have a list of bits to do in the house- not done any since the new yr- must get finished with the loft as lots to go in it!

Super- we are going to our 1st support meeting on 25th- i know one other couple from prep is coming and hoping the others are coming too (Anabelle? ) - we do get CWW however nothing suitable in it YET!

We WILL get that call and be parents!

xxx


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi All

Keeping busy isn't a problem, in the last 12 months we have practically totally re-done our house including new kitchen and bathroom.  This weekend we have put new radiators in our conservatory and moved the dining table out there to creat a bigger lounge.  We will also get a lot more use out of a very large and expensive conservatory.  We are also looking for storage solutions for out there as there is still loads of room for toys and a nice playing area.  Now thats done we can tackle the latest of our ideas, something we weren't planning to do but now we want to, have a wood burning stove fitted.  We will also then re-paint the lounge to smarten it up a bit.  We are also de-cluttering and I do creative memories (scrapbook type thing) so am trying to spend some time on that.

In my spare time I go to work....and sleep! 

We have monthly support meetings, the first was for Waiters only and this was a good chance to find out what happens next and badger the SWs about children coming through the system.  They are mainly though for people who have been approved whether placed or not and the last one was a bit hit and miss.  One of the couples had been waiting for 2.5yrs which in some ways through me into a bit of a panic....They also have speakers in and sessions on Life Story etc so some will no doubt be better than others.

We get CWW and have approached a couple of SWs for more info, the first sibling group had actually gone but were still on the website, and the most recent are likely to have gone - a family is being visited next week though if its not right they do have our details also.

We would prefer to stay in-house than out of county due to the better support you get from our LA and TBH with the amount of linking meetings our details are being put forward at we should be a match sooner rather than later in-house.  Our LA are also very funny about you going out of county but they know we are not willing to sit around and do nothing so even if we don't find our family in CWW we will still have a good look.  You never know it may speed things up a bit...

Ironically, while desparately wanting that call and for it to be 'right', occassionally I have a moment of maddness when I wonder whether I can do this and whether I should just carry on working as I know I am good at my job!

Love to everyone
OT x


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## Milktray (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi OT

We were approved on the 28th March 2007 and have had regular contact with our SW.  We are lucky in that the SW that did our HS is also our link worker.  

She keeps in contact with us regularly, say every 4 weeks she will visit even if it's to tell us that there is no news.

We haven't ever received a copy of CWW - not sure why but to be honest I am quite happy not having it.

We only started to get news as such from around Sept last year where we were one of two couples being considered for a baby girl.  We lost out on the basis that the other couple already had adopted a child (how could we compete against that??!!) and we also had a profile for a little boy which we turned down as it really didn't feel right.  We are now the only couple being considered for a 5 mth old baby girl so fingers crossed....

Having said that I have to say that I feel very lucky that during the last year I can honestly say that I haven't actually felt stressed or that anxious about the wait...not sure why but I am glad that I haven't.

Sorry to hear that you are struggling a little and I hope that you have the news that you long for soon.

big hugs

T x


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Hi

Seems it's just me then that doens't get any contact with SW    We don't get any feedback, there are no support groups/coffee mornings or anything   and unless I contact our SW we wouldn't hear a thing......
We were the only couple out of the whole prep course to go forward for approval so no friends made from prep either. 

We do receive BMP & CWW but TBH due to our ages we are approved baby adopters and you dont see many under 2's in there, we do however keep looking. 

In the meantime we have tonnes of stuff to keep us occupied but it doens't stop you wishing for the phone to ring.

OT - Lovely a Woodburning stove, cannot recommend it enough   This weekend has been bitter outside but toasty in the house with the stove going all weekend  

MJ - Best of luck with your support meeting, hope you get lots out of it

Milktray - Fingers crossed with you for the baby girl  

xxxxx


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## Milktray (Jun 12, 2005)

awww - Kimmy I am really sorry to hear that you are not getting any support  

I think if we didnt' have any contact I would be feeling very anxious.

Feel free to PM me anytime if you need or want to talk.

T x


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## jan welshy (Jan 18, 2003)

We have no contact at all. I did contact SW after about 2 noths just to say we are still here. We were told that BMP would be sent to us but have not receieved a single one. When I did phone them I was told that were were at the bottom of a long list and they do not keep in touch, just contact when match apporved.

Beginning to get really mifffed.

I know what will be will be but after such alot of contact during hs etc it feels like we have been forgotten about now.

Sorry for rant but have been holding in for so long and this is just the tip of the iceburg breaking off.

L
WelshyXXXXXXX


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Jan - just wanted to say the "waiting" bit is the hardest bit, I always say you think getting approved was hard.......it will happen and it will be so worth while.

Great to see you posting again!!

love
Andrea
xx


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## jan welshy (Jan 18, 2003)

Hi Andrea,

I do pop in and keep up to date but don't post. 

DH is trying to keep me calm about it all.

JUan


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## Misty C (Mar 1, 2006)

Hey guys 

Sorry to hear that SWrs aren't keeping in touch with some of you.  I suppose we have been lucky as it seemed to us that hardly a week went by without a call to keep us up-to-date on any child/ren - I have to say it was mostly 'not this week' but it was good to have contact.  Waiting for the 'is this it' call is really hard, and looking at it from that perspective time dragged - and still does.

Some of the girls from the prep group and I have made a huge effort to keep in touch, and it has really helped to have them to talk to about the these gaps.  OK we spend a lot of time imagining what things will be like when little ones come along and I have to say its great to have this dream in reality with others who understand!  

Sending you lots of         and hope the wait for you all is a short one. 

Love
Misty C
xxx


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Hi everyone, the waiting really gets me down.  We have been approved 2 years in May and still no match.  I don't get any contact from my sw unless I email her and then she replies after a couple of days to say that she is working hard for us behind the scenes and our location is ruling us out most of the time.  We have had 3 potential matches in nearly 2 years but none was right for us.  It is very depressing.  We get BMP and CWW but all seem to be hard to place children.  I have tried contacting about some children but rarely even get a reply and when we do, it is just to say that they have had an overwhelming response.  I have sent our profile out to about 40 different authorities but had no response in the main.  I have chased the adoption register and they do periodic checks for us but no luck so far.  Can't think what else I can do so I just have to wait and wait.


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## jilldill (Feb 2, 2006)

Hi Friendlyperson,
I was thinking about you today then saw your e mail! I can only imagine how hard this is on you and as lovely and generous a person you are your still human and others being placed so quickly must be very hard! We have spoken many times and I am not about to give you advice on how to "fill" your time it's just gone on too long now and it is your turn! Sending my love and best wishes and everything that's crossable is crossed!
Love JD x


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Thanks Jill, I appreciate the support.  One day eh ...............


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## Misty C (Mar 1, 2006)

Aww Friendlyperson   .  I'm so sorry that the waiting game is getting you down.  It sounds like you have everything covered.  What about getting SW to come visit or go in and see them.  A face to face meeting with probing questions as to what else you can do to help may keep you foremost in their minds - and when leaving make a date for another catch up!  

Love
Misty C
xxx


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi Ladies

Friendlyperson-   i hope your match comes soon- i know we find the wait hard however its nothing compared to the wait you have had.

  to everyone

xxx


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## jan welshy (Jan 18, 2003)

Took the bull by the horns and emailed SW today, asked about BMP etc. Apparently we should have been given forms to join Adoption UK (paid by LA) when we had first applied, but did not get this info so they are getting it organised for us staright away. 
I did let her know we feel out on a limb at the moment re no contact. I think I feel better just knowing I have raised us into their radar again.

Sorry for earlier rant.

Friendly person, I am sorry your wiat has been so long. I know in comparison ours has been a drop in the ocean.

Hope you are all well.

Love#
WelshyXXXXX


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi All

Jan, hope you get the forms etc sorted soon - possibly in time for March's mag.  

Friendlyperson, I did think of you when I first started this thread as I know you have been waiting a long time compared to most of us.  At our support meeting there was a man, wife at home, who'd been waiting 2.5yrs so far and they had a birth child.  Obviously don't know his or your circumstances but guess having a child means they have more to take into account when matching, though no different from 2nd time adopters I wouldn't think.  I really hope you hear some good news soon.

I know we are lucky with the contact we have with our SW though I must say it is mainly instigated by me constantly emailing her and the occasional phone call.  She is off next week so will no doubt enjoy the break from me hounding her!  Won't be waiting for the phone to ring next week.  She is still waiting for feedback from the linking meetings, we now know a sibling group we were being considered for is now going out of county due to violent BPs and she is chasing the one from early Jan.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.
Love
OT x


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Hi All

friendlyperson - I too often think of you and of how long you've waited, it must be very hard not getting the support from your SW for all that time.  You have covered every angle possible by the sounds of it and it is just a matter of time, doesn't make you feel any better though does it    I hope and pray you are matched soon hunny  

Jan - Well done for calling    Hopefully you'll get the CWW soon

Hoping we all here something soon  

     for those who need them

Kimmy xxxxx


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## sundog (Jun 21, 2007)

Jan, 

I was just wondering if you would like me to send you the last couple of months CWW magazines. We continued to receive them after being placed with LB and I just called to cancel them the other day so shouldn't be getting any more. I have Jan and Feb if they are any use to you. I you PM me your address I will get them off to you this weekend.

sundog
x


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Thanks everyone for your support.  I must admit that the long wait is getting both dh and I down but moaning about it makes no difference does it.  My sw is ok but not very approachable and if I am too persistent she gives me an earful in a "reading between the lines "polite" way"    She just says "it will happen when it is meant to happen" and "I told you the waiting is the hardest part" etc.  Going and seeing her would solve nothing I feel.    Sometimes I feel like contacting the director of her department but then I am too worried to rock the boat.  I am also fairly friendly with our local MP and sometimes wonder whether we should approach him    We have also been told that it is harder to match when there is a child to consider who is already placed in the family.  We have also been told that we would have a better chance of being matched if we moved away as most children in our area are being placed out of area but it seems extreme to move and spend £5K on moving costs in the hope of getting a child sooner    We have also been told that we would have more success if we would consider a sibling group but as we already have one child, it would be a big jump up to 3.  It's something to consider though I guess.  My dh is more or less ready to say we have waited long enough and pack the adoption route in as he says he finds fulfilment in his work and voluntary work which is with young children.  I feel women have more of a need to nuture than men and I know there is a big gap in my life where a second child should be so cannot contemplate ending adoption unsuccessfully.  Lots of my friends have started trying for a child, announced their pregnancy, had their child and those children are now starting at nursery - all in the time that I have been waiting to complete the adoption path.  It is hard but I know that I am not unique in this - we have all found this hard.  Like you I have had lots of tx and miscarriages.  MC is very hard and I find myself dwelling on what ifs concerning those potential children but I am lucky in that I have my wonderful ds. 

I do read but don't post very much as I have nothing much to say re adoption.  I am wishing everyone well and hope that those that have a match in the offing are successful.

Best wishes to you all


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Hello to all Waiters 

Friendly person - I cannot begin to imagine the frustrations you have suffered from the long wait you have had.  It must be so heartbreaking to watch your friends children continue to grow whilst your arms are still empty.  You are right moaning about the wait doesn't make it any shorter but it may help in how you're feeling about it all? Just speaking to others in the same situation may help, ok maybe some have only been waiting a few months but we still feel the same way.  Keep posting hunny  
When is your next review with your SW? 
If your area is a problem have they said how many children (on average) are or have been placed in your area? 

OT - Let us know when you get your feedback

Jan - Have you heard anything from Adoptionuk re your membership?

I have contacted our SW again today but I just feel like i'm being a pest to her   SHe hasn't said that but I just get the impression.  I have also contacted our local co-ordinator from adoptionuk too. 

Hope everyone else is ok, sorry no more personals i'm at work and boss just came back  

Kimmy xxxx


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi Ladies

Just got home from work having gotten to grips with 'no news this week as sw is away' and find a message on the answer phone from another sw.  The linking from early Jan has made a decision and we are being sent the details of a little boy but thats all I know apart from his name!  I now have to wait till tomorrow to speak to sw and find out how the details have been sent, no email so I assume post.

They say you get a call when least expecting and that is certainly the case for us, just hope we don't have to turn this one down....

Love
OT x


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi kimmy

I email my sw every week and I've spoken to her a fair bit to.  Last time I did say 'sorry for being a pain' but she was fine and said to call anytime, thats what she is there for.  Don't feel bad about contacting them, you have feelings too and have the time its the 'feeling forgotten' that makes this so hard.

Love
OT x


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## jan welshy (Jan 18, 2003)

Kimmy, have not heard from Adoption UK yet, but only got the forms on Saturday. 
Sundog sent me two copies of Chiildren Who Wait, BIG THANKYOU SUNDOG!!!

OT, hope the news for you is positiveX

L
WelshyXXXXXXX


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Hi

OT - Did you hear from the SW today?  Fingers Crossed for this potential match    I think our SW has heard from me enough this week but it has settled my worries (for now) and we're due to see her in a few weeks.

Jan - Sent PM  

I've also emailed our profile off to about 10 local authorities too, a long shot but you never know  

Can I just ask how 'ready' everyone is for their little-one's arrival? We still have a room to have plastered and decorate and a garden to do, nothing that will take too long to do but just wondered if everyone else was all ready, sitting and waiting


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi Ladies

Kimmy, we still have things to do but they are no longer the essential things and we can move a child in without doing them, if that makes sense?  As for being 'ready' mentally, well that changes on a daily basis!

Well, we have received the CPR today.....well some of it!  About 6 pages are missing and the lady I spoke to at SS didn't sound very confident in being able to photocopy and post the rest to us but you never know, it may arrive....we do also have a page from a completely different case....gives me oddles of confidence in them!  From what I've read I can't see any major issues to stop us from going forward, best let DH have a read first though!

Love
OT x


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## jan welshy (Jan 18, 2003)

Got the first AdoptionUK stuff back today. DH read through and wonders if all LA's pass adopters detauils on after 3 months if not matched?
DH wants to push sw along a bit.

Do you have any comments on this ladies?? 

L
Welshy


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Hi

Our SW put us on the register for the local consortium and we had to sign an agreement form for it, I'd give your SW a call / email Jan  

OT - Sounds promising with the little chap, how frustratin missing 6 pages though   Hopefull you'll get them posted.  

Have a great weekend All


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

HI

Jan, we had to remind out LA to get us on the national register and the local consortium after the 3 months.  We had to sign something and as our LA don't like you going out of county they weren't in any hurry to do it.

We got the missing pages this morning and there is nothing new in them other than the contact wishes from BF.  For once I can't wait for the wekend to be over so we can speak to our SW.

Love
OT x


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## jan welshy (Jan 18, 2003)

Thanks girls, Dh is emailing this week.

I can see why LA's could be a little slow to place adopters on nationak register (good for their stats if they place within authority) however they should all be helping to find the right match for any child..as quick as possible rather than wait to neet targets.

Sorry, rant over with.

Love

WelshyXXX


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi Ladies

Jan- sadly it also comes down to money/budgets and if our little ones come from another LA then they have to pay our LA for us and to be honest the LA's want us for their own to save training/HS us for another LA/VA

xxx


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## jan welshy (Jan 18, 2003)

Well, SW out for 3 days but spoke to someone there who told me that:-

1 approved adpoters go on a waiting list and are not considered for matching until they reach the top (one couple took 1 year before getting to the top)
2 placement onto national register after 3 months too soon, LA tends not to do this until a long time in waiting (the couple who took a year have yet to be considerd to be placed on national register

AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

We felt assured at the beginning of this process that the child was important and that they do not have a 'waiting list' before consideration to be matched, we were told each child is looked at for matching for the best placement.

Not sure how DH will take this.


L
WelshyXXXXXX


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Kimmy - we have an annual review with our LA.  Next one is due in May.  I haven't asked statistically how many children have been placed in our LA - good question - but I find if you ask too much and then feel you have been "missed out", it makes you feel worse.  Perhaps ignorance is bliss!

Jan - we were put on the national adoption register after 3 months and are still on it but no match has been found through this.  I regularly contact the register and the emails I get are very sympathetic and kind so I don't blame them in any way as they are doing a hard job and are, I believe, a charity.  We were told we were at the top of our LAs waiting list in Dec 06 but we are still waiting so I shouldn't get too hung up about it as matching depends on so many things.  Many of the children coming through adoption have major issues one way or another and some people feel more able to cope with this than others so the more "fussy" you are the longer the wait it seems.

OT - how annoying that you were not sent all the information.  One CPR we had suddenly talked about another child on one page of the set of pages we were sent, so it seems it is not uncommon - I put it down to over-typing!  We received an email from our SW Friday evening (sent just before she went home for the weekend).  It showed an attachment and the title was "A Profile".  Unfortunately the email was sent over a secure server so I could not open the information as I did not have a password and was not authorised - grrr.  Am getting a hard copy in the post tomorrow after chasing sw today when she was back at work.

Bye for now


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

hi,

you can put yourself on the national register without your SW say so but if you look at CWW or the likes and not able to see any suitable matches then you're probably unlikely to find a match on the register. 3 months after approval are the government guidelines and your Sw is being a bit naughty telling you otherwise.


we'll hopefully be joining you on "the wait" in a couple of months so will be reading with interest!


xruthie


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi

Friendly person, I get yourself on the National Register you have nothing to lose by doing it.  I can't believe your agency have a waiting list like that, how do they know they are getting the best match?  Ours looks at all approved adopters and only if there are lots all suitable they put forward the ones waiting the longest.  How annoying not being able to open the profile!  Hope its worth the wait tomorrow..

We aren't able to see our SW until Friday so won't know her opinion etc until then but I think we will definately meet the child's sw this time.  The previous match just didn't feel right at all from the first time we read the report whereas this one has got us excited!

Love
OT x


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Hi All

Jan - So sorry to hear you're having a hard time with your agency, I would self refer if I was you - I thought they HAD to refer you after 3 months 
http://www.adoptionregister.org.uk/adoreg/default.asp?psg=4

OT - Good that you received the rest of the pages you needed and Great that things seem to be sounding more positive from you, fingers crossed this is the one   

Friendlyperson - You are right sometimes ignorance is bliss

Hi Ruthie  hopefully you'll be matched straight away so will not need the waiting room 

   for All

xxxxx

/links


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## Viva (May 16, 2005)

Just wanted to say Hello and that I regularly think of you Ladies (and your Men) in Waiting. When we were approved our LA paid for a years adoption UK membership along with subscription to CWW, I was until recently sending these on to someone on the board who no longer needs them and I would be happy to send them on to anyone else who was interested, just PM me (first come first served) I have about 3 months left.
Hoping for lots of good news on this thread soon.
Love
Viva
X


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

OT - we are already on the national register - been on it since Aug 06.  I've altered my response from the other day as I realise now I wasn't clear    The profile has arrived this morning and now I am all excited as the child sounds like could be the "one".  Need to speak to dh but .........    Good luck for Friday and speaking to your sw.

Viva - thanks for the offer of CWW.  I already subscribe and also to BMP.  You are very kind offering to send them on to us.  Our LA also paid for one year with CWW but we had to pay for second year.


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## jan welshy (Jan 18, 2003)

KIMMY said:


> Hi All
> 
> Jan - So sorry to hear you're having a hard time with your agency, I would self refer if I was you - I thought they HAD to refer you after 3 months
> http://www.adoptionregister.org.uk/adoreg/default.asp?psg=4
> ...


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Jan - Thats what we're here for   and Postie leaves tomorrow  

We have had a call from our SW today re an 8 month old little boy, not all excitement though as he has mild medical issues so DH and I need to seriously think this through, can see this being very hard.

xxxxx


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi Ladies

Friendlyperson - sorry I think that was meant for Jan!......rushing and too many things going round and round...am really excited for you and really hope this is the one!  When I read the report on Friday I went upstairs and stood in the bedroom that would be littlies thinking what it would be like, so excited but worried DH wouldn't feel the same!  When he got home I just gave him the report and left him to it, I didn't want to influence him at all.  I don't think he'd even read half of it when he came and found me and said 'I feel so excited!'.......Its a long week till Friday....

Jan, hope you get sorted.

Kimmy, difficult one but I'd read the form and then have a good long chat and think with DH.  Its hard turning a child down but better than it disrupting and without reading it you will never know.

Off to Brownies, does anyone else still do anything?  They want me to go on pack holiday but its DH's birthday and hopefully I will be otherwise busy!

Love
OT x


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Kimmy and OT - fingers crossed!


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## jilldill (Feb 2, 2006)

Kimmy, OT and Friendly person we are all rooting for you Love JD xx


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Hello

Jan - How are you feeling now? Have you spoken to your SW further re the register?  BMP on route  

OT - Awwwww how exciting!!! How lovely DH felt exactly the same as you    We didn't have to attend any childrens groups, shame though I'd have quite liked cutting and sticking and cake baking etc    There is a Baby first aid course coming up though which we may enrole for, could always do with a refresher.

Friendlyperson - Was Dh's reaction what you expected? Whats the next step for you?

MJ - How you doing?

We spoke in depth re this little boy last night and both feel unable to make a decision either way without further information on his medical needs, so thought of requesting his file but sw feels she wants to discuss things further so both sw's are coming out next week for an informal chat........ 

K xxx


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi Ladies

Hope you all well.

I have come to say we are stepping off the "wait" train and jumping on the matching rollercoaster! 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=131955.new#new

   all round

xxx


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## jan welshy (Jan 18, 2003)

Kimmy,

Spoke to service Monday who said SW would be in Wednesday and to phone at certain time.

DH phoned only to be told SW does not work on Wednesday (frustration again)

DH phoning today.

L
Welshy


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Got our sw coming here Friday for a quick chat and update.  Child's sw is off until Monday so hopefully will hear something next week.  Also heard that we are now being considered for another child (along with other families) - our Form F has been requested.  Both little ones are 14 months old and out of area children so fingers crossed one of them will be the right one for us.

Kimmy - dh agreed that the child sounds a good match for us but he is reserving his judgement until he has seen the child's CPR.  Waiting to hear back from both children's social workers is our next step I guess so I am not expecting anything concrete to happen for a couple of weeks now, although I would expect to hear from first child's sw next week if she wants to proceed with us or not.  The other sw has requested our Form F today but cautioned that we are competing with other families at this stage.

Welshy - how frustrating for you that sw was out when you were told they would be there.  Doesn't sound a very good organisation.  Our first LA was rubbish so we swapped to another.  How did dh get on today with contact?

Bye for now


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## Viva (May 16, 2005)

Hi All, 
This months CWW has arrived today if anyone is interested.
HOpe you are all well.
Viva
X


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