# Wish there was an IF friendly shopping centre!



## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

In light of the impending IVF cycle, 25% of my friends currently pregnant, and a nasty endo-period on it's way, I thought I'd treat myself to a bit of frugal retail therapy!

On the way there I was stuck in a traffic jam next to an evil people carrier with two adults smoking in the same car as 2 children  

Walking around the centre EVERYONE was pregnant or pushing a pram 

In the next changing room to me was a nasty woman telling her small child to "shut the f*** up moaning, you're doing my f****** head in"    

On the way back to the car I kindly completed a market research survey to be told "Married and 31, ooh, your biological clock will be ticking away if you aren't careful..."! I really wanted to say "my clock stopped flipping ticking years ago sweetheart but I have it in my handbag and am about to ram it down your throat"!!! 

I get home to find the nasty neighbour f-ing and blinding at his girlfriend and their 6 month old screaming the house down.

It's a good job I've got an ironic sense of humour because if I didn't i swear I would take to my bed and cry! X


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## Weebear (Jul 24, 2013)

I've had days like that. I find shopping a nightmare as bumps and babies are everywhere. I really do feel like a minority as no one I know has or had difficulties. Even the people I've known that had some medical problem have had children easier than I have. I'm heading towards my ivf too, never done it before. Also a teacher and back at school tomorrow having put on half a stone over the summer. Ill be getting looks and whispers and yet I'm still not pregnant cd


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

ah, an if friendly shopping mall! what bliss. parking spaces nearest the building for the 'miscarrying or recently bereaved' rather than those with babies....
single/couple sized packs of food that aren t disproportionately expensive compared to the big packs.
big packs of food that say 'big pack' and not 'family sized'

cereals in fun flavours but with sensible packets - i don't mind tony the tiger but i don't need to win free books for a school with the packet...

folic acid or ovulation kits that doesn't have the ubiqitous cute white baby on the packaging, or say 'mum to be' because when you're using your 14,000th ovulation test it just isn't funny any more. no packaging to be allowed to imply 'use our product and a baby will appear'.

birthday party banner section without kiddie party gifts in because even though we want some balloons we don't want reminding that this is yet another year where we don't need a pack of 12 party bags for the reception class...

a comfort section selling massages, alcohol and furry blankets to comfort those who need it. 

trolleys without kiddie seats, magazines without celeb baby bumps..... 


what would you add?


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

Weebear - I know what you mean, it feels like all my friends are on their second or have gotten pregnant after "struggling" to TTC for 6 months!!! Good luck with work and IVF - it's our first treatment too having gone straight into IVF bypassing everything else.

Goldbunny - love the parking idea!

I'd ban maternity clothing - I accidentally picked stuff up in there before as they always put it next to the petite section. In fact, I have vowed that in the event of any pregnancy we may achieve, I will not wear anything labled maternity - I will just buy big tents (fingers crossed).

I would also ban people carriers and "Baby on Board" car stickers, and the even more offensive "Baby on Board" t-shirts! 

I'd move the ante-natal and maternity unit to the other side of the hospital from the fertility unit!

Though the worst thing ever to grace the rails has to be the "Made With Love" logo - maybe I might get one that says "Love ain't always enough doofus" and see how that goes down!

X


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## George_00 (Jun 17, 2013)

Cloudy - "Love aint always enough doofus" - good one!! I love the idea of the parking space too.

I love the idea of an IF friendly universe. Can we also have:

- In shopping malls and in city centres, beds instead of benches, (hot water bottle for cramps included)
- Tampons which are actually absorbent enough to deal with an endo period, but which are not labelled 'Mega super plus'
- A ban on people complaining about their pregnancies 
- Cheerleaders who constantly shout 'you're doing so well, you're doing so well!'
- Parties where it's not a big deal that people didn't bring their children and they don't then spend the whole evening complaining about how hard it was to get a babysitter, how tired they are (whilst telling you you don't understand) or showing you endless pictures of their baby on their phone

And I'm not sure about the wall of baby pictures that's in almost every IF clinic we've been to. WHY?!?! Maybe we could get rid of that too?

G x


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## neongirl (Jan 14, 2012)

The loo rolls in asda that claim that they're recommended by mum's - because clearly people who aren't mums don't have a need to wipe their bums!!!


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## flowerfly33 (Oct 26, 2011)

Ha ha ha - I mean ha ha!  This thread has cheered me up after a serious stress-out last night!  Great to find my sense of humour is still in there somewhere.  Maybe someone ought to write the book - something lighthearted to cheer us all up!


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## Sidd (Apr 4, 2013)

This thread has put a smile on my face 😀 thank you ladies x


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## HinaP (Jul 1, 2013)

Hello ladies 

This has put a smile on my face! 

I know the exact feeling, everywhere I go there seem to be pregnant women around!! Unless they have been thorugh it I think it so hard for other to understand. 

Sidd- Hello! How are you? 

H xx


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## Mzmaary23 (Mar 18, 2013)

I wish there was a way to get treatment on nhs without all the hassle and waiting times


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## Sidd (Apr 4, 2013)

Hi Hina! Lovely to hear from you, I've been ok still
making the most of my holidays  
How's stuff goin with you? x


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## HinaP (Jul 1, 2013)

Sidd- Aww glad to hear it, make the most of the lovely weather. I start stimms in the next few days so fingers crossed! any more on your date?


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

Seriously, i think the world is going crackers - I saw a woman driving a car today that said "Mum to Be On Board" with a silhouette of a woman rubbing a bump!!! What on earth does it matter to a persons ability to drive if someone is pregnant or not? Maybe we should have once saying "Stimmer On Board", or "Embies on Board" and a little picture of a sperm and egg getting it on?   

Also, can we add Fairy Liquid (and all fairy products) to the list because they seem to suggest that unless you have birthed a mini-me you don't have a need to de-grease a casserole dish and like to use coarse bath towels  

George - totally with you on the tampons too! It's like when I'm off work ill with my endo and "helpful" people suggest feminax tablets. Erm hello, I'm taking full dose tramadol and still screaming in pain...!? Ooooh, and people who say "Why are you wearing thick black tights in this weather?" Though to be honest I do actually reply "to stop blood gushing from my womb and ruining the carpet of course! But, hey, why do you wear that stupid gormless look most of the time?"  

X 
X


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## bk2013 (Aug 15, 2013)

neongirl said:


> The loo rolls in asda that claim that they're recommended by mum's - because clearly people who aren't mums don't have a need to wipe their bums!!!


this has to be the funniest thing i have read in ages - made me proper giggle out loud so much so not only did DP look at me like i'd just fallen from Mars but so did both dogs!!!

thanks for making me LOL x


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## stelpo (Jan 3, 2012)

Love it, thank you for making me giggle!


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## MandyPandy (May 10, 2010)

The one thing I used to tell myself when out shopping was that I had no idea what other people had been through in order to get those bumps/T-shirts/prams. I've had it pretty hard and I know from this site and meeting people during my multiple failed treatments that I'm not the only one. I now have a couple of those T-shirts - maybe it's me you've seen out and about  ...of course there are still the chavtastics who screech and swear at their kids which is massively unfair - but I could never think of a way to talk myself round with them.


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## MandyPandy (May 10, 2010)

...but yep, never understood the pics of babies up in clinics - and I've seen the inside of a fair few of them. It strikes me as the clinic showing off its successes, which I always thought was massively inappropriate (especially given mine and others numerous failures). I guess they'd try to sell it to you as it being a way to give you hope, which to me showed a fundamental lack of understanding by the clinics toward their patients.


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## elli78 (May 22, 2011)

Lovee this thread. Glad its not just me. Re. The pics in the clinics i was there yesterday with my lovely mum who said.... oh none of them are very pretty youll have a gorgeous baby ... she always makes me chuckle xxx


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## bobo66 (May 1, 2012)

This is great!  My clinic is in the same block as maternity services so there are often very pregnant women walking about with Bounty packs etc and even new mums and newborns coming in for breastfeeding clinic.  Seeing lots of clearly not pregnant women waiting and a big sign 'Fertility clinic' probably doesn't help them to feel particularly comfortable either.  I had a diagnostic ultrasound recently with a BMI just the 'normal' side of underweight and was asked, 'Are you here for a 20 week scan?'  Umm, do I look 20 weeks pregnant??!!


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## LittleL77 (Jul 14, 2012)

Totally agree - and think it is a disgrace that the Fertility Unit is normally so close to the Pregnancy/Baby Units!!! They make all this fuss about not having mixed-sex wards (which is fair enough really - but if you desperately needed hospital treatment, would you really care THAT much?) but then expect women suffering miscarriage to wait alongside those having early preg scans, for example!! Why is that not a national scandal?

In defence of the 'mum-to-be on board' sign (sorry) - I got one of these (not one with a woman rubbing bump though - just the words) because in the earlier days if I had been in an accident I wanted some way of letting the emergency services know that I was pregnant if I couldn't tell them. Then later on I left it in by way of an explanation/apology to anyone behind me if I have to tackle speed bumps. 

I am being very conscious of not turning into one of those pregnant people that used to drive me nutty when I was struggling to fall/stay pregnant, but I'm sure I fail in so many ways that I don't even know about  

Good luck and   to all xxx


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## wendycat (Nov 18, 2006)

This thread made me chuckle.    has anyone noticed that in Supermarkets, sanitary towels are often near either nappies of incontinence pads. So when you go to buy the thing that reminds you that you are clearly not pregnant for the 20,0000th time, you have 'here's what you could have won' on one side, and, rather depressingly - 'here's where you are heading to, you barren old cow' on the other side.


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## Sidd (Apr 4, 2013)

Awww this thread always puts a smile on my face..thank u ladies 😊 x


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

LittleL77 said:


> Totally agree - and think it is a disgrace that the Fertility Unit is normally so close to the Pregnancy/Baby Units!!! They make all this fuss about not having mixed-sex wards (which is fair enough really - but if you desperately needed hospital treatment, would you really care THAT much?) but then expect women suffering miscarriage to wait alongside those having early preg scans, for example!! Why is that not a national scandal?


When I had my miscarriage - it wasn't a straightforward thing and I had to have several scans over the course of several weeks - I was scanned in the same room as the pregnancy scans. I had to sit in the waiting room with dozens of ladies all glowing with lovely bumps while I waited for the next installment of this-is-all-going-to-end-in-tears.  Worse still, one of my brother's friends came in for her 20 week scan while I was there and I had the awkward conversation starting with "Oh I didn't know you were pg" and me "not sure if I am still". You can only imagine. All round a very distressing experience. Needless to say, when I did eventually have my baby it wasn't at that hospital.
My mum was recently admitted to that hospital and you have to drive past the maternity unit to get to the main car park; I was still having palpitations at the memory of that awful experience many years on. 



wendycat said:


> This thread made me chuckle.  has anyone noticed that in Supermarkets, sanitary towels are often near either nappies of incontinence pads. So when you go to buy the thing that reminds you that you are clearly not pregnant for the 20,0000th time, you have 'here's what you could have won' on one side, and, rather depressingly - 'here's where you are heading to, you barren old cow' on the other side.


 The wings and strings aisle as we used to call it in the retail trade.  IMO, the feminine hygiene products ought to be adjacent to a whopping great big dispaly of chocolate and wine. But that's just my opinion. 

C~x


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## wendycat (Nov 18, 2006)

Aw, Caz  


It seems so inhumane doesn't it. When we went for our follow up to Leeds to get the post mortem results after we lost Matilda, because we were going to see the consultant obstetrician we had to see him in the maternity department. They were kind enough to let us come through to his office and actually wait for him in there rather than actually sitting next to heavily pregnant women. Howerver, after ten minutes of waiting, this very pregnant midwife burst through the door and said 'oh my God, left my glasses in his office, pregnancy brain! And then asked who I was here to see and how far along I was.'  I was just crushed. I felt utterly crushed. Much gin was consumed that evening.


Ah well. life has a habit of kicking you in the lady bits and tweaking your nipples when you're down.


Wings and strings


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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

Wendy and caz   so sorry for your losses and your horrible experiences.

Wings and strings though, I'm so stealing that!

X
Ducky


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