# over 40 and overweight .... is there any hope ?



## susie52 (Jun 21, 2007)

i`m 45 now and have been trying to conceive for 7yrs - my husband has more/less given up now and made peace with the fact we wont have kids - but i havent - the money is sat in the bank ready for another DEIVF but after 2 failed treatments the only reason we have been given is that i should loose weight to stand a better chance - i started a famous diet/exercise regime 6wks ago and due to my size managed to pull a ligament in my back (in my defence i was trying very hard to loose weight/exercise) - couldnt walk or even go to the toilet alone and felt very annoyed with myself - i am finally walking, putting on my socks and back to normal but scared to exercise and feeling sorry for myself cant be bothered with the diet - in my ideal world i wanted kids at 25 but hey ho - now i have lost all my mojo but know i am so dissappointed that i havent conceived ever- DH suffers from depression and hates to bring up the subject of s.e.x or having further treatment - he is 10yrs younger so i feel he doesnt appreciate my urgency to try again - he refuses to try until i loose weight - so i am in a catch 22 situation . 
please can someone motivate me ?


----------



## Maisyz (Dec 15, 2010)

Sorry you hurt your back, hope it's better now. Saw a lady on the TV last night who had lost 10 stone in a few months. Her secret was dog walking, she'd bought a cute little Westie and she reckoned all the walks she'd been doing cracked the weight loss big time. Def think there is something in it. If you can't get your own dog maybe start taking the ones out at a local shelter, I used to do that before I got mine, there are always plenty that need loads of exercise and don't get any because they aren't cute etc.

Anyway just an idea with Spring round the corner not a bad way to spend some time hey 

Take care xx


----------



## Jue jue (Feb 26, 2011)

Hi can your G.P. give you some medication to lose the weight? considering  the reason


----------



## Redjenner (Mar 6, 2011)

Hi Susiecy, 

Just read your post and really feel for you.  I have always been a 'big' girl/woman and having found my DP later in life spent a couple of years building our relationship before TTC.  We spent alot of time socialising, eating out and I got bigger.  I also suffer from depression and TTC stress made that worse.  

In my earlier years I had an eating disorder. So when we started ttc I tried really hard to eat sensibly but didn't want to go too far into weight loss diets incase I feel back into old habits.  However after being in the system for a couple of years and no luck on Clomid we were referred to a clinic and after a couple of months of steady weight loss they finally came up with the guideline ultimatum - No funded treatment over BMI 30.  I had was angry and in shock, with them, obviously mostly with myself and at 39 years old knew that the timeline was a huge issue too.  Everyone could see my size....why had it taken so long to put it into words!!!!!!  

With four months left before my 40th birthday I had to loose just over a stone.  Doesn't sound much to some but after loosing a stone and a half and struggling with my own issues I felt very desperate.  ....


----------



## Redjenner (Mar 6, 2011)

...(I'll try getting to the point in this message  )
I knew I needed professional help to support me through this as DP lovely as he is, this problem was too big for him.  So I found myself on the NCED website National Centre for Eating Disorders.  I read through the site and looked at a list of local therapists and found a lady in my area that specialised in Weight Issues but also depression, anxiety, stress etc,.  Before I lost my determination I phoned her and burst into tears.  

Talking through my issues REALLY helped.  I was sceptical at first and defensive and confrontational to any cracking in my defences.  The weight did slowly be surely drop.  But I finally got my tx confirmed just scraping through a couple of pounds above my BMI the day before my 40th birthday  

We are due to go through EC on Monday and I am still very up and down needless to say but wanting to show my support and share my story.  Weight is such a personal issue but doesn't mean you shouldn't or can't be a mum or great mum, stay strong. PM if you want to.   Red


----------



## Vals (Jan 15, 2011)

Hi

I know it's very difficult to deal with ttc and losing weight I'm not doing very well myself. 
But I was told that losing weight aids implantation rates so try and use this as your motivation.
Also being overweight will increase your risk of blood pressure issues when your pregnant
I nearly had to deliver my ds at 32 weeks due to my very high bp - very stressful time.
Why don't you agree a target and timeframe with you dh and try and make that your focus.


----------



## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I tried lighter life diet and know some Ff girls who lost 3 and 5 stones in a few months if you're looking for a rapid weight loss


----------

