# gutted



## evie1983 (Apr 9, 2012)

Well in January me and my partner applied to adopt a child.    We have had all our checks done by the adoption agency.    Well we had to change our social worker as our 1st 1 went on the sick.    

The new social worker came out yesterday.    They have known from march that I need to have kidney dialysis.    But yesterday the social worker kept on bringing my dialysis up and the fact that im going back to college in September.    The social worker keeps saying about my health and about me going back to college and that its too much for me too take on.    

I don't know what to do really.    

Also the social worker kept bringing up my references saying that 2 people hadn't sent their references back.    Well the ones she mention were my blokes mam and my friend.    My blokes mam said she has handed hers back and my friend has never received hers so how do they except her to send it back if she don't have anything to send back.    They said they thought it was dodgy.


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

Hi Evie,

I'm so sorry to hear of your predicament, firstly your agency should know that references do get lost, one of ours did and she had hand written hers without taking copies, but apparently the second reference she wrote was better anyway.
Can you get in touch with the agency itself regarding your friend's reference and ask for an extra to be sent out, again things do get lost on the post.

Your kidney dialysis wouldn't normally be a problem, but perhaps your SW is concerned with how much time you can give to a child if you're at college on top of your health condition?  If you were working you'd be expected to take at least 6 months off, but usually they want 12 months - you wouldn't be able to do that if you were at college.

There's no chance my wife could have done anything other than care for our LO in the last 7 months, never mind go to college and try and study at home.

Are you the one going to be the main carer?  If not, then perhaps let your SW know.

Good luck and I wish you well,

Paul x


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## evie1983 (Apr 9, 2012)

thanks paul.    My bloke said he would be the main career if he needs to be.  But we have cancelled with them now because they were just taken their time with us


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

In that case, you need to work out your finances whilst you'll be at college and your partner is the sole carer.

Most agencies are very big on debt, if it's manageable then all is good, but you need to prove you can do that.  If you don't have any debt then even better, but you still have to prove you can afford a child coming into the house.

Even with my full-time wages we will soon be struggling on that single wage,  until my wife returns to work in January, 12 months after AL started.

Is your partner entitled to Adoption Leave/Pay?

When I return home I will post a link to a budgeting sheet which should help you see the costs involved.

Good luck with your new agency.


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

Adoption Budgeting Links
PDF version https://www.dropbox.com/s/fhpumv7huvfa7bi/Adoption%20Budgeting.pdf?dl=0

Excel version: https://www.dropbox.com/s/a6miof6shmm01qw/Adoption%20Budgeting.xlsx?dl=0

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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