# Thank you and some advice appreciated



## SarahJaneH (Nov 21, 2009)

Hello everyone

I've been lurking on this site for a while, not quite having the guts to jump in and get involved....

Firstly, thank you to Kara and Jule for your campaign to improve funding for us all. It's a massive boost and will make a difference to a lot of lives, hopefully mine too.

About me....we've been trying for a baby for over 5 years, but nothing ever happened. I went through some initial investigations about three years ago, but DH wasn't quite ready to face it all. His job was going pear-shaped at the time and we had a lot of upheaval moving house etc. Well, this summer I turned 35, starting to panic about the old biological clock so we self referred to IVF Wales. It turned out that our problem is MF (count and morphology) so we were advised to go for ICSI. I have a small fybroid but Mrs Evans decided not to remove it due to small size and location. 

So, we just had our first round of ICSI. We got 11 eggs, 7 mature enough to fertilise, 6 fertilised so we were pretty hopeful. When we spoke to the embryologist on transfer day though, she said it was a 'bit of a mixed bag'. We had one 10 cell and one 4 cell put back (day 3). My impression was that these were the best of a bad bunch.  Nothing to freeze at Day 5. OTD today and despite spotting some encouraging symptoms (raging thirst, cramps around implantation time) the result was negative (know not to symptom spot now...). We're gutted and need to figure out where to go from here. I guess the next step is a follow up  appointment, but if we are going to have another go, I want to be sure we have explored other possible factors to maximise our chances next time. Like another post I read, I kind of get the impression that MF isn't really a major interest, but I could be wrong. 

You've already helped me a lot without knowing as reading your stories has given me hope. You are such a supportive group. I wasn't prepared for the emotional consequences of this process and at the moment, it feels like nothing will ever be the same. I guess that will change with time and we'll be wanting to go again, just want to give it our absolute best shot now we know a little more about what is involved.

Any advice you can give about what we should be investigating next would be much appreciated. Sorry for the selfish post, I needed to get this off my chest and then hopefully I might feel like a human being again!

Thanks and best  of luck on your own journeys.

Sarah


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## Queenie1 (Aug 21, 2008)

hi sarah and welcome

firstly well done on jumping in and saying hi that is difficult thing to do.
sorry to hear you have had a bfn. you must be feeling down at the moment but we have all been there and know excetly how you feel. as in regards to what to do next the best thing is to book a follow up and the staff will have met and discussed what has happened and will hopefully have a plan for your next go. they do learn a lot from your first go and will be able to change things to help  you. you could always ask at your follow up if there are any other test you could have done. i 'm not sure what tests you could have yet but someone else will come along who might have some ideas for you.

we are a friendly bunch and if you have any questions just ask away. 

again so sorry about your bfp.   

queenie


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## trickynic (Nov 3, 2009)

Hi Sarah - I'm also new around here. Sounds like we have the same fertility problems as you and your partner and are hopefully starting our first round of ICSI through NHS in January. Sorry to hear about your BFN. Hopefully we can be some support for eachother over the next year  

Nic


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## SarahJaneH (Nov 21, 2009)

Hello Queenie and Nic

Thank you for your kind words    It's slowly sinking in and I know we'll be stronger for it in the end. I guess this is just the start and it is really good to know there are others out there who understand. Hopefully we will get our follow up appointment soon, I'll phone on Monday and then we can figure out the way forward - here's hoping they will have some good ideas. Nic, I will let you know if I find out anything that may be of help to you. Good luck with your treatment in January, let's hope 2010 will be a lucky year for us all!

Going to go out for a nice lunch now to cheer ourselves up and then probably a big bottle of wine later!

Sarah
x


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

hiya sarah and welcome to another lady from pembrokeshire

i am so sorry your treatment didnt work out but as queenie said their learn alot from a first cycle. MF can be a big factor and not many people truly understand the big impact that MF can have on embryo development might be worth getting your DH to take wellman vits if he isnt already as these are really good for the sperm, he would need to take for at least 3 months prior to treatment

you had a good enough collected and a good amount fertilised so this is good news and not getting frosties doesnt mean that much as they are grown in a lab and all not having frostie proves is the best 2 were transfered. 

i hope you get a follow up soon and ask lots of questions


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## SarahJaneH (Nov 21, 2009)

Hi Kara

Thanks for those tips. Supplements can only help and we hadn't really thought about it before, we are learning all the time. Best get him started so we are ready for the next go in the new year (got to get that PMA going again!). Thanks for pointing out all the positives from our first cycle, it's easy to lose sight of these when upset, but there's lots for us to be hopeful about. Feeling much better than I did this morning already. For now, will enjoy the break from driving back and forwards to Cardiff, it's a long old way from Pembs isn't it!

Bye for now

Sarah


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## mimi41 (Feb 28, 2008)

Sarah we have mf issues and my hubby has been taking fertilaid.  They are a little expensive but as Lyndon told me at clinic they are the gold standard of vits for men.  Hope this has helped mf issues are hard to deal with.  Other things to help are no hot baths, loose underwear and cotton.  Good luck hun and sorry about your cycle


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## miriam7 (Aug 8, 2007)

welcome to the boards sarah and nic    sorry you have had a bfn ... doesnt mean next go wont work tho


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## SarahJaneH (Nov 21, 2009)

Morning all

New day, new start...

Thanks for the advice about vits Michelle - and congratulations on your BFP, that's brilliant!.

Hi Miriam!

Thanks all for your welcome and good luck to those cycling at the moment

Sarah


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## sugar-fairy (Jan 27, 2009)

Hi Sarah

Sorry to hear that you got a bfn, its such a horrid time when it doesnt go to plan. As the others have said a good multivit (or other vits/minerals) should help your DH with his MFI. Have you read any books on fertility and conception? They usually have a section for men and what is needed to help produce good sperm - just a thought as this might help. 

 that your next cycle is the one for you


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## Jule (Oct 12, 2008)

WElcome Sarah and Nic this board will be really helpful to you both.
Sorry you had  a BFN Sarah its a difficult time, glad to hear you are going to move forward thought and get those vitamins for you DH and make a FU appt.   with everything


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## helen_26 (Jan 31, 2008)

Welcome Sarah and Nic. This is a great forum and great board in particular. You're in good hands here.


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## milliemags (Aug 31, 2007)

Hi there, welcome to the board. Everyone here is amazing and even the littlest words can mean so much. I was extremely naive starting treatment, I just assumed it would work 1st time and that would be it! (How dull can one person be), we've since learned that there is so much more that can impact and help in this journey. We had our first IVF in Sept and were lucky enough to get a BFP- Unfortunately we lost them almost as soon as we had them! Another factor which simply didn't enter my head!   I think the secret is to stick with this site, the advice and support you get is invaluable and people understand if you just want to sound off from time to time as well. Good luck with your journey and hopefully 2010 will be the golden year for us all xxxx


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## SarahJaneH (Nov 21, 2009)

Thanks for all your replies, will try and keep up with you all on the other threads and jump in once in a while

Milliemags, I'm so sorry that you got so close, that must be so hard   I see on the other thread that you are gearing up to go again and sorry that they have mucked around with your follow up. Grrrr, I hope you can get a new appointment soon. I know what you mean, it's definitely a steep learning curve in this game. Will be looking out for you and wish you lots of luck with the next step. 2010 for us all, yeah!


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