# ICSI take two...



## marvin197 (Dec 2, 2010)

hi all

just started the second attempt at ICSI today.  anyone out there in the same situation?  i know it is the wife that is going through all of this but feeling a lot of trepidation about this if we fail again and it seems that many of the men involved in such a process just dont talk about it!

marv


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## Tillypops (Nov 7, 2005)

Just wanted to welcome you Marv and wish you and your wife good luck.  I hope that one of the boys will be along soon to chat to you.  They are a relatively quiet bunch, but they do pop along here and chat - I think they should chat more!!  

Tilly
xxxxx


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

Marv I just wanted to send you and your dw all the very best - I dunno, going through tx the first time is exciting and nerve wracking all rolled into one, theres certainly a case of the fear of the unknown.... I suppose when you're heading down that same tx route again, you know whats coming so its no the wonder you're both filled with trepidation....  I suppse if your wife is doing everything possible to make it happen ie look after herself, take her vitamins etc, although the let downs are crushing, we're resilient.
Hopefully some of the lads will be along for a chat soon.... just wanted to pass on my best wishes
Sheila


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## PaulandHelen (Jan 26, 2011)

Hi Marv, hope things are going really well for you and your dw.

We have not started our treatment yet as still in the early stages however I agree that men can sometimes find it tough. My advice would be that it is so much easier to share your feelings and emotions with your DP/DW. It can be perceived as a sign of weakness for some men due to social conditioning but I find that if you can be honest and say exactly how you are feeling then it helps lift the pressure inside you and this is turn must surely make you less stressed and more healthy and therefore more likely to succeed at what you are trying. I am lucky as I have the most wonderful DP and not afraid to talk to my DP about anything and have found this makes things so much easier (previous relationships I have kept stuff in and found myself in some dark places)

I wonder whether our male pride is genetic from our hunter gatherer caveman days or is a learned behaviour from generations of parenting.  Many of us have a sense of protection towards our beloved (no idea why as Helen is more than capable of looking after herself!). Either way I believe it is important to say how you really feel to your DW/DP and if needed to share experiences with other men. I don't think anyone will judge you a bad person if share your feelings. 

If anyone needs a chat please feel  free to get in touch (unfortunately not always available to visit chat room due to shift working)

Paul (and Helen)


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## jules1247 (Jun 2, 2010)

Hi Marv,

I tend to lurk on this site quite a lot and post occasionally. We are some way down the line from you as our second attempt at ICSI was successful and DW is now 24 weeks pregnant with twins! Having been through it, though, I really do know how you are feeling, so feel free to post on here if you have any queries or just want some support and I will definitely reply. 

Wishing you all the very best with this cycle.

Jules.


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## marvin197 (Dec 2, 2010)

hey all, 

there seems to have been a lot of people who have read my original post but only a few replies, so just as an update...

wifey dearest and i are now expecting twins! scared indeed!  due to the difficulty of the procedure we had a lot of the nurses loitering around for the first scan and the confirmation. 

a frightening time to have went through, cant even think about the possibility of having to go through all that again.  still not wanting to get to excited until we hit the all important 12 weeks but have never been happier than to get the discharge letter from the clinic. i think that was when the emotion hit.

it has to have been the worst year of my life, to have gone from our only hope being adoption or donor sperm to expecting twins.  we even got a copy of the notes for the NHS clinic, as we are still on the waiting list there, and it was scary to see the notes from the embryologist about the dfficulty in trying to find useable sperm.

guys, plan for the best but prepare for the worst, its the hope that kills.  but; you cant give up while you still have a chance.  yes we are in debt up to our eyeballs but at least i can stress about that when playing with the kids.


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## Tillypops (Nov 7, 2005)

Huge congratulations, that's fantastic!!  Wishing you both a happy and healthy 9 months.  Pop on and keep us updated, you men are terrible at talking (speaking as a woman who's tried to have a meaningful chat with her DH this afternoon!)!  Look forward to hearing all about it.

Tilly
xxxx


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## jules1247 (Jun 2, 2010)

Many congratulations to you and your wife, Marvin. I am delighted for you. 

My wife and I feel truly blessed to be having twins, and hopefully you will feel the same.

Keep us informed.

Jules.


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## jules1247 (Jun 2, 2010)

Oh, and if you want some useful reading material I recommend that you try and get hold of copies of Double Trouble by Emma Mahony and Pregnancy For Men by Mark Woods. Both a very entertaining read as well as very informative. 

Jules.


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

Marv
I'm over the moon for you and your dw.... I know when we had our first scan, hubby couldn't come due to working shifts, so his Mam came with me. As soon as I had that precious scan photo in my hand, my mother in law produced a 'first scan photo frame' and I promptly burst into tears!!!
She ushered me out of the clinic, still a shaking sobbing wreck - as you say the emotion really does just hit you like a sledgehammer....gawd only knows what the couples in the waiting room made of it all!!!

Believe me, those scans will just get more awesome - and the first time you actually hear your babys heartbeat - it blows you away 

Wishing you and your dw all the very very best for a scary but wonderfully exciting journey ahead...I couldn't be happier for you, dinnae worry about the debt, you've enough on your hands with twins - how exciting.
Best wishes
Sheila


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## marvin197 (Dec 2, 2010)

dont think anyone has looked at this post in a while but just to tidy it up my wife and i had a baby boy and a baby girl this week.  all parties doing well.

one hell of a journey and im glad its over and we can start the next one!


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

Marvin - huge congratulations on the birth of your son and daughter - I hope you and your wife are able to establish a routine for your little one's - it'll make things soo much more easier - especially when you're at the sleep deprived and dunno what day it is stage !!!
Couldnt be happier for you and your wife - absolutely delighted x
Best wishes
Sheila


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## marvin197 (Dec 2, 2010)

hi all

just on a whim decided to have a look at the site again and surprised to see over 2,500 views of this story. thank you to all who took the time to read and post a response.  

i still am unaware as to why there is a problem and to be honest given the fact that time seemed to be an issue, ICSI was the only option for us.  It worked, for many it hasnt, and who is to say because it did now that it will again if we wanted to try for number three.  we were lucky, very lucky that it did.  i barely had enough useable sperm to fertilize all the eggs from my wife on both attempts.  

i can only empathise with all those out there who are only starting treatment or who have to face the grief of a miscarriage or of a failed fertilisation.  for those of you who are wanting to talk, i am only to happy to reply....

may 2010 - told that my only option for children was adoption or donor sperm
sept 2011 - birth of son and daughter

one hell of a year...


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## Bubles25 (Jun 8, 2012)

Hi Marv 

I'm new to the site and was reading through your post, its so lovely that this has worked for you so i needed to reply. 

I wanted to wish you, your wife and twins all the happiness in the world. We are currently starting out on this whirlwind journey and i hope ours is as successful as yours. 

Sam xx


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## marvin197 (Dec 2, 2010)

wishing you all the best Sam!!!


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