# Food/eating - advice please



## AoC

Hi - I'd love some advice and perspective on this.  (Sorry it's long, trying to give you all the info.)

Bug is gorgeous, healthy (although not growing much at the mo!), loving and awesome.

He also eats a VERY limited and specific choice of foods.

It struck me yesterday that there are NO meals that are quick to prepare that we can all eat.  Even sausage mash and beans needs me to make a separate potato smiley faces/letter chips element for Bug.  Spag blog means giving him just buttered spaghetti.  Pizza means making a separate one for him with just cheese and tomato (and a separate gluten free one for me!).

Three nights a week we're home at 6pm, so mealtimes have to happen quickly.

He has something out of a tin with toast three nights a week.

He has never eaten any meal I've homemade.

He doesn't eat fruit at home (he nibbles a bit of apple, sucks the juice from an orange at school).

He has never eaten a vegetable in my sight, hidden or otherwise (not counting tomato sauce on pizza, of course!)  And if I do a hidden veg homemade tomato sauce for pizza, he won't eat it.

We've tried multiple Anabel Karmel recipes, and making things together.

In sandwiches, he will only eat choc spread (home or school) or peanut butter (home only).

He basically eats Heinz tins (I've tried the 'healthier' versions, and he doesn't like them, even if he hasn't seen the tin), toast, potato shapes, pizza, sausages, baked beans if we insist, one variety of chicken nugget, buttered spaghetti, garlic bread and hot dogs.  That's it.  Other than snacks outside of meal times, which are mostly crisp/cracker salty snacks or biscuit/cake sweet snacks.

His one saving grace is that he'll have a smoothie daily and will have one or two (sugar rich! argh!) fromage frais tube things a day.

I hate it.

I hate that he has such a bad nutritional intake, that he's missing so many delicious things, that I don't cook anymore, that meal times make me depressed.

Our childminder came up against his resistance the other day, and then gave us a CBeebies eating reward chart, with little goals like trying a new fruit, and helping prepare lunch etc.  Okay, I think, we'll give it a try, maybe I've become set in my ways and too accepting of his rigidity.  So last night after a meal he likes, I set out a really lovely fruit platter with banana slices, chopped cherries, melon, pineapple, apple slices, grapes and a dippy, creamy yoghurt, with little forks to snag the food.  We said he didn't have to eat anything he didn't want to, that we'd love it if he tried something, and that if he ate a whole (little) piece of fruit he could have a sticker.  At no point did we say he had to, or that not doing it was naughty.  We played little games and made it fun.  Cue two hours of battles with himself, ending in tears, because he really wanted the sticker, but really didn't want to eat the fruit.  We were happy to stop and move on, but he wasn't.  It was awful!

I keep getting conflicting advice:  childminder, friends and family clearly think we're enabling him too much.  Our current assessing SWer, who has a background in adoption support, think it's brilliant we're not pushing him at all.

But I'm really worried that this is only going to get worse.  Some foods he used to like he's stopped eating.  Meal times are calm and fun and he's much better at finishing what he does eat.  I'm also worried that when we bring home another child, things are only going to get worse and I could end up doing multiple meals every night.

So we're mulling over having a crack and getting through this.  I'd welcome your thoughts.

We're thinking about setting a month where six nights a week we only serve a meal we all eat together, and that's the only option.  No tins, lots of homemade, lots of variety.  I'll try and make it something he's got a chance of liking, and he never HAS to eat it, and he never HAS to eat enough to get pudding.  But he does have to wait till we're ready for pudding to have his.  We plan to stick it for a month, but review after two weeks and if he's starving or poorly we'll have to stop.

Please don't tell me children don't starve themselves, Bug has no weight reserves and happily refuses to eat anything if nothing's on offer that he likes.  And if he's not eating, his behaviour is bloody hard work!  

Bug is 4, and apart from three months attempted rehab with his BM, was with the same foster carer.  No reported food issues in care, but we witnessed general poor nutrition and a few meals left uneaten because he didn't like them.

All help gratefully received.


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## Miny Moo

Our youngest can be a bit like this, she would gorge herself on sugary things if she could and can be a very picky eater, I only ever do what we are all eating, she is very very slim and tall, our one thing that will normally get her eating is the though of missing out on her pudding, which i have to say are very often frubes. She will say she doesn't want the dinner she doesn't like it etc, we just say ok then leave it, but no afters, she often will leave it then come back to it a bit later and eat it so she can have her pudding. 
This is probably absolutely no help to you at all, works for us because she has such a craving for sugary stuff, which I'm sure was all she ate for the 1st 3 1/2 yrs of her life, hence why when she 1st went to FC she had to have 9 rotten teeth removed!!!


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## AoC

Thanks for that, Moo, it does help.    Bug has rotten teeth, too, but so far we're managing to keep them....  And seeing as he went into care from birth, it does make me mad!


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## wynnster

So frustrating when they don't eat something you've lovingly prepared!

My dd came home loving nuggets & chips    She turned her nose up at everything from pasta to potatoes    Firsly we went with it wanting her to settle first, but with an older ds it wasn't fair on him.  We broke things down for her at first, so if I was cooking spag bol for instance I would place the food items separately on the plate, a pile of plain spaghetti, a pile of mince meat, a pile of veg (we have a very veggie filled spag bol, carrots, courgettes, mushrooms, onions etc) and then a sauce on the side.  If she ate just the pasta then fine.  No pushing, she eventually ate the lot but I suppose having an older sibling who eats ANYTHING (except mushrooms) helped. 
On a Friday or Saturday mine are allowed a rubbish tea, nuggets, fish fingers, pizza etc. 

Now, my kids eat what we eat, even curry, if they have just rice and naan bread then so be it, but they love to have 'adult' food and I think its important they try different things. 

So my advice would be to include him where possible, my dd is 4 and she helps chop, peel, wash and even stirs the pans (with help!!) she lays the table, etc.  Try having him help in any way, let him wash-up if that's what he wants but he's with you in the kitchen, being involved whilst cooking.  

Ditch the smiley face things, if its sausage and mash night then so be it, if he only eats the sausage and peas, that's fine, the point is getting him used to having it on his plate, move on to pudding (mine have fruit with a fromage frais poured over the top   ) 

So yes, I think your plan sounds fine - Firm but fair, remember you have his health at heart  

xxx


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## AoC

Thank you, Wyn, that helps.  I'm a bit wary of involving him in the kitchen, because it tends to be a constant dialogue of "don't like that, won't eat that," then he gets more and more stressed and starts misbehaving, which can be a bit risky in the kitchen.

But I do get the sense I need to stop being afraid of it all!


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## GERTIE179

AoC - you've just described by boy's main diet until a few months ago! He ate healthy in FC but upon coming home refused all fruit except banana.  Used to eat carrots and peas and turnip then stopped almost overnight after 6months being home.  Over the last 6 months I've noticed him eating all his fave veg again (altho can be picky which type of peas!), and on Boxing day decided to eat the brussel sprouts happily on his plate and now loves his broccoli too.

I've just kept up with a little of ours and if he tries it he can have his own dinner that's still cooking (I normally kid on its still cooking in oven when I've just been keeping it warm).  We let him try anything off our plate at home and out. Nursery have helped a lot too. WE also entice with no pudding unless he tries a few mouthfuls or eats most of his dinner if its a normal fave.

However, what strikes me from your post is two things:
1. Please don't tell me children don't starve themselves - I watched my brother not eat much at all from age 3 til 9yrs. He didn't starve but never had a pick on him and was always ill with a cold. Suddenly age 9 he came to stay over for a weekend at mine and never stopped eating! Part of me thinks, my parents babied him too much by pandering to him (they still do) and the other part thinks he was ready to try more. They also made a deal of it for a while and I remember the screaming matches cos all he wanted was milk for his dinner! But now if he comes over for dinner at ours he will try fish dishes etc that we've made and is more adventurous as its whats on offer but at home he will still rule the roost.

2 - "And if he's not eating, his behaviour is bloody hard work!" This is a biggy for me. Behaviour and our relationship come first as otherwise we all get locked in a battle of wills over everything and so I'd be tempted to maybe have a compromise i.e weekend lunches/diners  or even alternative nights during week are about trying something different and if he wont eat then he'll get nutrition morning and night. A few nights a week, you and DH have something you like making, involve bug in helping but still have his tin of Heinz etc but a small plate to try what he made - even a homemade pizza to start with. Little by little increase the options. I'd even resort to dipping chocolate on banana and strawberry  i.e. choc fountain type thing to see if that helps (it doesn't here on fruits he's not keen on).

Part of deciphering the food stuff will be - what's normal toddler fussiness and what's his insecurities/history. I'd also say all of us have things as a parent that really are important to us so if you are a foodie and like to cook healthy dishes, bug rejecting them could be really eating at your core values.  Its worth separating this out for your feelings about things.  We have our set rules and these don't budge i.e you've got to try dinner first without saying you don't like it. I only offer a back up dinner if I feel lil man is unwell or I'm trying something that I know he's not keen on and has tried it before (but I keep offering).

Not sure how much this will help as I decided to let go and not have battles at dinner (bed and sleep are our big battles at times). It grates on DH more than me (but he was rather surprised my tact has been working when lil man ate all his brussel sprouts!).  Hugs - hope you'll get some suggestions from others too.

Ps my lil one is small but has a reasonably healthy appetite but not much extra on him so that always makes me feel were doing something right. Snacks tend to be fruit/crackers or a yoghurt with sweets only once/twice a week depending on the grandparents ;-)


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## GERTIE179

Oh another though we found quite useful is making a hotpot so sausages and mash night become sausage hotpot but all chunky veg and small potatoes in one bowl make it seem different plus you can pop it on a slow cooker in morning but ready when you get home so nice and quick.

Our LO has got back into eating soup and loves his veg through that with his own dippy bread - great way to get nutrients in him and its quick and simple too.


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## AoC

Thanks Gertie, lots to mull over there.

We've backed off it and concentrated on making sure meal times are stress free for two years, now.  If there's anything more to his taste on offer, no power in the world can make him try the other thing.  

I'm really conscious that this gets at my core values and it's hard trying to separate out what he needs, what we need as a family, and what I need as me.  Still trying, though!

He's always refused soup and anything casserole-y, sadly.  

Perhaps we need to go with our original plan, but make it five nights a week we do 'proper' meals.  *thinking*


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## Bunny Face

Hello all, 

I had terrible issues with our DD when she came home, she was 10 months old.  Despite being in FC since birth she was weaned on desserts (jars) and wouldn't eat any solids apart from biscuits. 

My DH and I stressed about it for ages until two wonderful social workers gave us great advice.  The first said "try not to worry - she won't be eating baby jars when she's 18!" ...it's a rather simplistic view but actually it's true and in those first precious months I didn't want to spend all my time worrying about food. 

The second social worker gave more practical advice and suggested that we start weaning again from scratch...so we did. We continued with the jars but moved back a stage to the 4 month plus ones and then moved on gradually.  In fact DD was still eating baby breakfast jars well past her first birthday.  

It was difficult - it went against all my plans of providing home cooked meals and enjoying family meals and now at 2.5 she's still not a great eater.  She has a sweet tooth and will not touch veggies, but I have changed my expectations of her and celebrate small achievements like when she eats dried fruit or simply tries a veggie. We cook together a lot but her diet consists of nuggets, fish fingers, sausages, rice and spaghetti.  

She does drink lots of milk so I know she's getting her calcium but I also give her mutivitamins.  She is often ill and picks up colds constantly but i make small changes very gradually (just recently we discovered she likes apricots). 

I know it's hard - perhaps try some multivitamins or pediasure (milkshake) and try taking a step back.  Try new things gradually alongside the comfort foods and make sure that food and mealtimes don't become the main focus of family life.

X


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## weemoofrazz

Our eldest sounds very like bug in respect of food issues. Like you I got so fed up never eating decent food or even cooking properly anymore that I decided to go back to preparing home cooked meals that we like and our very un fussy little one will like and just give Stuffy meals he'll eat. I also give him a multivitamin idly and smoothies.

The only improvement we have had is Stuffy asking to try stuff we're eating. This has resulted in him expanding the foods of preference by about 3-4 more in the 2 months we've been doing it. Stuffy used food as control to the max in FC and would get a pudding even of he hadn't touched his meal. We have always had the rule that not enough dinner eaten = no pudding. He's only missed pudding a handful of times. 

I really don't have much more in the way of any advise but I can definitely sympathise with how aggravating  this problem is


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## keemjay

does he drink much milk? just asking cos too much milk inhibits appetite big time so if he does back off it, water it down if you can and give less.


have you got one of those safe cutting knives for children? (Pampered chef do them) they cant do much damage with them. if he is going to help in the kitchen make sure its things he likes initially..like stirring some butter through his spaghetti..or making cakes he likes..emphasis on fun, not the actual eating of it.then he could move on to stirring your sauce into your spaghetti…baby steps...



one way we got our DD to try diff things was she got to sit up with us while we ate our dinner sometimes..if DH wasnt home early enough she would eat her tea at 5ish  and we'd get her bathed and ready for bed. then she'd come down in her pj's while we ate and sit with us..and would like to have a look at what we were eating and would try some. she was a fair bit younger but wonder if you  could engineer an exciting dinner for you and dh one eve, where DS is a special guest..maybe he gets to help carry plates/serve?


good luck!


kj x


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## Duckling

Just a thought - does your ds have his main meal in the evening? My ds does and very very often he is just too tired. Introducing new food works much better at weekends when everything is so much more laid back and everyone is less tired. I am lucky in that my ds eats his veggies but in the last year he has become more and more fussy. I do try introducing new food on the same plate as food I know he'll eat. That way I know he'll still have enough food (and therefore not become a horror  ) and might try something new. But I've decided, and I know that this is very dependent on the individual child's circumstance, that while there are other issues to deal with, I'd rather food doesn't become another problem for us. So I try, as long as he's eating enough, and as long as I try every now and again, to make mealtime stress free. X
P.S.  I know that when you love good food and cooking this is extra frustrating.


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## MummyPhinie

Nothing major to add but we have mild issues like yours with 2 of ours. I've become so sneaky getting healthier foods in them that's not peas, sweet corn, although thank god the eat fruit, and will eventually eat what's on plate. My eldest actually gagged and vomited a sprout onto the plate after being told they eat them in FC! Month later when I did jamie Oliver's shredded sprouts with bacon butter oil and Worcester sauce, it was eaten with heartiness and a " I like this cabbage mummy" 
I give them all multivitamin every day and blitz veg in Chinese and curry sauces. Btw ragu do a hidden veg tomato sauce and I put it with pasta and on pizza, honestly it's just like tomato sauce! 
I echo trying at weekends when everyone more relaxed and rested!

Goodluck


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## AoC

Thanks for the suggestions, KJ - he doesn't drink milk at all, unfortunately!  He's never shown interest in what we're eating, except to go yuk if we ask, nonchalently, if he'd like to taste something.  *eyeroll*  We're often eating other meals in front of him, at the mo.

Duckling, it used to be that if we put new food on his plate with stuff he liked, he'd refuse to eat anything until the new food was removed from his sight.  Now he just complains a lot and moves it onto his mat, so there is progress!

No, he won't eat anything with veg blitzed into it.  We've tried hidden veg pizza/pasta sauce, and of course he won't eat curry or chinese sauces.  A HV advised us to mix grated cheese into mashed potato to help him gain weight, and I just stared at her thinking, "WTF?  He won't eat potato...  Or cheese."

!! Back to the original query, it seems to me that the majority view is not to try and cold turkey (no pun intended) "this is tea and there are no other options" approach.  I do wonder if it's me that needs the counselling on this one!  *sighs*  !!

He's not a horror, he's a wonderful boy.  And actually we have made a lot of progress, because he'll just say, "I don't want to eat that, Mummy, I'll just eat this," instead of "YUK!" and tantrums, and mealtimes are actually pretty cool, if you ignore my pathological hatred for what he's actually eating...  ;-)


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## Mummy DIY Diva

My two are great eaters / over eaters so opposing issues. However on initial placement and in fc eldest in particular was quite fussy, she had lots of snacks of fruit / cake and lots of dessert.  So she'd shun main course in favour of snacks / pudding. My youngest had an incredibly sweet tooth for a child of her age and threw whatever she didn't want on the floor.  For them both i said this is your meal eat it or don't eat it that's your decision,  but no pudding till its gone and meals were horrible for the first few months constant tantrums.  However I won and meal times are lovely 90 % of the time.  I never shouted or got cross or forced them to eat just restated facts. My eldest attacked me a few times over her lack of pudding but at the start of placement I decided food was my one area of complete none negotiation. 

I give small portions so it's not forcing them to over eat but thats it for me and it's worked for mine. Ive had a couple of 4 am wake ups with my youngest hungry after throwing food on the floor - that's an automatic meal ender in my house. She can pass food to me or dh push it off her plate etc but not fling it across the room. You feel awful with a sobbing child begging for food in the bath after refusing dinner but it's been worth it for me. I work on the you won't starve yourself at their age, might be hungry but won't damage yourself.  I also worry about bulimia in teen years for my eldest if I don't get her relationship with food under control.  Getting a healthy varied diet into her and stopping  excessive eating of sweet was step one. Appetite control is step two it's working progress and I don't know if I'll ever win. It might be a really difficult series of conversations through her teen years is my only option.  I'm starting tge ground work for them now in case I don't heal this scar. Sorry enough me. 

I guess for me what you need to ask yourself is what deep down do you feel is bugs issue?  
My daughters I was sure it was elective and disliking food due to a skewed pallet.  When you're used to a certain diet of processed or high sugar / salt then normal healthy meals won't taste nice till your pallet adjusts. So a hard line was tge only way I could see forward.  

Is there a psychological control / previous experience issue? In which case you'll need to work on that before you can tackle it. 

Or do you genuinely feel he has an issue with food which leaves him only able to eat this restricted diet. 

Hugs food issues are a nightmare whatever end you're at. Controlling my eldests weight and appetite wears me down. My advice do what in your heart you know isbest. Stop thinking rationally and weighing up arguments and listen to the voice in the bottom of your gut telling you what to do.  It always goes wrong when I ignore mine xxx


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Wasn't being awful when I said won't starve at their age I meant with my two definitely applies.  One thing I'm debating trying is pudding before main course.  I know it sounds bizarre but my two are now happy eating a healthy meal but my eldest is that pudding obsessed and I have used it to get main course into her. I wonder if it would help with appetite control for her. Might help you as he's eaten something before presenting him with a main course.  Not being as hungry might take the edge off for him / make him a bit less stressed out and upset. Xxx


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## Duckling

AoC I wasn't suggesting for one minute that your ds is a horror - when my ds is hungry things can go downhill and he can become a 'horror' is what I meant.


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## AoC

Sorry, Duckling, I didn't mean to use your word again, I didn't pick up on that at all!    It was only that I start to feel guilty when I only talking about problems with him, as if I'm misrepresenting him!  Didn't mean to make you feel I'd taken offence, not at all.

Mummy DIY I'm a little bit in love with you right now.    We've always thought that Bug's issues are about control.  In FC he had a junk food diet mostly, with lots of snacks and sweets on demand (in his FC notebook it actually says that sometimes (i.e. most of the time!) his breakfast was a chocolate biscuit.)  Then he had a period of mild neglect for a few months when they tried rehabilitating him with his birth mum.  Probably a change in diet, probably irregularity of meals when he wasn't coping.  Then he came to us, with a 'borderline underweight' label, still on formula, and immediately established a much more restricted diet, in spite of our best efforts.

I still think he was just trying to control something that was personal, in a world that was so out of control to him.

Now it's habit.  From watching the snack foods he'll eat (which are legion!) I don't think it's texture or tastes.  His teeth are bad, but if he'll crunch snacks then that's not preventing him eat good foods.

My gut says dig our heels in and fix this, especially before a new brother or sister joins us.  There's nothing he likes better than taking the high ground and bossing someone around - he'd love to be able to say, "wook, *I'm* eating all my veggies!"  

I think they key for us is not to pressurise it, and not to value-load it, so not make a 'being bad' or 'being good' issue.  

Methinks much rule setting between DH and me is called for.   

THANK YOU everyone, for all your tips, sympathy and understanding.  I find it so much easier to get my head straight in discussion.


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Ah AOC I've had a girl crush on you for a while so glad the feelings are reciprocated   . To me it sounds like you know what you think is best then I'd go for it.  What's he like at breakfast?  I'm just thinking my youngest will eat a big bowl of porridge for breakfast after a big battle she started on something not much better than bugs chocolate biscuit. When she's napped having not eaten much lunch amd I feel like crying for being so mean I repeat again and again.  A bowl of porridge is enough to sustain her till I'm calm lol. If you can get a decent breakfast in you can relax about it a bit more. 

I'd agree rules and share them with him perhaps have them on the door of where you eat. Then as you say no judgement not good boy / disappointment just it's your decision.  I'd give as much control as possible if that works for him. My eldest chose what we had dor dinner for months from a structured number of choices. Perhaps have 7 meals your having that week and let him pick which one you have each day if he wants but again no pressure to do it just if he wants.  I'd also try to give meals where he will eat an element to start with e.g. spag bol but do his spaghetti and sauce on the same plate but not on top of each other so he can eat just thr the spag if needs be. My gut is it'll take at least a month to get any real progress.  Keep posting always here to support xxx


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## keemjay

i was thinking about breakfast too..if he isnt eating much would breakfast be when he's most hungry? might be a good time to offer different things? or poss not if you are rushing out the door to nursery/work? perhaps at a weekend?
would he respond to 'family cooking time' ..would he mix up a batch of breakfast pancakes with you if you all worked together..some music on, all fun and lighthearted, you and dh and him all in it together?


I'm glad you wrote about control because that was what i was thinking but didnt like to say it   at 4 they are very good at that   really really hard to break through it..and I'm not sure too softly softly is going to work..he needs clear boundaries over how much control he has.

and like you say it would be good to get it sorted before no.2

maybe *if* you want to toughen up a bit start on a fri evening when you have the weekend ahead to stick it out. you might even think about taking some extra days off work so you really go for it for a whole week. 
personally I woldnt make any separate meals for him at all..it just plays into the control game. I would make nice child friendly meals..that you and dh can eat and thats that. no scraping off cheese for him or skipping sauce, everyone eats the same. if he doesnt want it he can have a small amount of yoghurt/fruit/whatever (you and dh have it as well) and thats it..no fuss. no snacks in between. ditto the next meal. always a small 'pudding' to end..but only small..

i know you are worried about him wasting away..can you pack out his smoothie with some stuff that will make you feel better..add some really good quality vits and minerals in? do you make the smoothie? you could whizz v small amounts of spinach/carrot into it?

just ideas..so difficult to advise when you dont know all the ins and outs..

kj x


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## AoC

Thanks so much, guys!

KJ the smoothies are bought (Innocent) ones, to go in his packed lunch.

He eats well at breakfast, of bad stuff (usual picture!) sugary cereal or toast with butter or peanut butter.  He eats so slowly at breakfast it drives me insane *eyeroll*!  He won't eat porridge or non-honeyed cereal at the moment, but I'll say this for him, he'll eat wholemeal or 50/50 bread very happily.

A friend, who'd been chatting with another mum of three who has three boys suggested getting Bug onto school meals, because then he's having 'this is the only option' meals somewhere where control with us isn't an issue.  And since he's only in school mornings, then if he's hungry in the afternoon, on Tues and Thurs we can deal with that as we like, and on Mon/Weds/Fri childminder can give toast or breadsticks if he really needs it.  And we don't have to worry about his behaviour going up the wall under the influence of low blood sugar at school.

Worth thinking about.

I can't say how much I appreciate everyone's input.


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## Wyxie

Bladelet can be a real so and so about eating at times. Not really because he likes or doesn't like stuff, but because he's a contrary little monster. He'll throw his dinner on the floor and demand more, or demand chocolate, or spit it across the room while screaming "cookie cookie", and I just stay very calm and say no. I have been very firm because I've had to be with Wyxling to control her food intake in the other direction. Bladelet is tiny and when he came to us we had a period from around one year old, which lasted for _10 months_ where he gained no weight. He got a lot of coughs and colds but I guess kids that age generally do and he was never seriously ill. I consulted regularly with GP and HV but they were not concerned about his overall health and have said often that kids don't starve when there's food available, and that I shouldn't worry about it unless he starts to lose weight.

Kids get given what they get given, they eat it or not, and they only get pudding/treats if they eat their main course. Bladelet only gets his crisps at lunch time if he eats his sandwiches, or he just throws the sandwiches on the floor. I don't make a song and dance about it, never have, not finishing stuff is absolutely fine, in fact I often make a point of not quite finishing and leaving something saying I'm full to try and get through to Wyxling that "full" is an option (hasn't worked tbh), but not hungry enough for meal = not hungry enough for pudding. Eventually he gets hungry enough and eats and he rarely does it any more. But, it was a long battle, a year or so on and off. I am glad I have stuck to my guns though as Bladelet now largely eats well. The only time we tend to struggle to get him to eat anything is when we go away, particularly main meals. I think this is in large part because instead of eating he plays to the audience and family tend to give him lots of attention instead of just ignoring what he's doing.

I know not everyone agrees with this approach. I don't actively give them things they don't like, but not liking, for example, vegetables, isn't an option in this house!

Hope you manage to find something that works for you.


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Wyxie our approaches sound very similar.  I also do the leaving and saying I'm full not had any success with it either. 

One thing I've started when out ( which is our main issue as at home I just give small portions ). Is splitting the meal on her plate and saying she can eat a certain section and have pudding or eat it all and have no pudding.  She's really not happy about it but has chosen section and pudding.  Not ideal but better than all of it and pudding.  Xxx

Aoc I think trying school meals is a good idea it does help a lot of children.  Often you find they'll eat it at school but still refuse at home but to start with any variance is variance and worth a try would be my thought xx


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## AoC

((((group hug))))

I'm glad I have you guys.


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