# 7 weeks no fetal pole



## lanarkshirelass (Sep 10, 2014)

To give you a little background, my husband and I went through IVF in November:

Egg collection was on the 18th of November and 2 5 day blastocysts were transfered on the 23rd of November. 

My HCGb was 95 on 3/12 (15dpo/4wk + 3) then 236 on 7/12 (19dpo/5wks).

Today we hard our early pregnancy scan at a private clinic. The sonographer found 2 gestational sacs (one measuring 7.9mm - approx 4 weeks gestational and the other 9.5mm -approx 4-5 weeks gestational age). There was no fetal pole or cardiac activity today and I have been asked to come back in 2 weeks time.

The sonographer was lovely but am I right in thinking she is being a little too optomistic? She said it could be too early and that the pregnancy might be earlier on that we think it is. I explained it was an IVF pregnancy, so I assume (please correct me) that the pregnancy is when it is but she said no, to come back in a couple of weeks because sometimes the heartbeat can't be seen this early.

I feel like it's all over, I think I'm just in shock to be honest, just feel numb. Trying to hope for the best but preparing for the worst. 

Can anyone give me their opinion?

I am planning to contact my midwife tomorrow and also ask her or the GP for another HCGb, any thoughts?

Xx


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## Kaz1979 (Apr 11, 2011)

Hi Lanarkshire lass

Everybody's pregnancy is different. At 9+ weeks yes you should be able to see heartbeats. 

However everyone is different. I had fertility treatment with my daughter and was told it hadn't worked and I wasn't pregnant - however I was or then got pregnant. 

So keep your fingers crossed for the next scan. 

Kaz x


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## lanarkshirelass (Sep 10, 2014)

Thanks Kaz.

I can see there have been lots of views on this post so I'll update as and when.

Had my HCGb taken again on the 24th of December, it's reading at 15020, which is in line with a continuing pregnancy, although I think this is one of the cruel things along with retaining all your pregnancy symptoms that a delayed/missed miscarriage give you.

I am due a scan on the 7th of January, which for now, feels like a lifetime away.

I hate this. I hate the waiting. I hate the pitiful looks. But most of all, I hate the false hope. I hate the cruelty of knowing, but not being able to "confirm" it.
Most of all, I hate the feeling that my body is invaded by something pretending to be a pregnancy. I am sure there are plenty of women out there who want to hold on to their pregnancy for as long as possible. But I want to say this out loud for anyone else who feels the same way as me. I want this over with. I hate this whole situation but mostly I want whatever is left inside me out now. I am beginning to feel so resentful of it. I hate still feeling nauseated all the time, I hate eating something then wondering if it's going to come back up, I hate still having to take the pregnancy medication, I hate that my breasts still ache, I hate that because there's still that stupid and ridiculous glimmer of hope that I can't start taking my own medication again. And I hate that glimmer of hope, I hate that you're going to hurt me cause there's a tiny part of me that still believes I can see you. I hate that optimism I see in my DH eyes, that you gave him, because I know it's going to be put out.

I apologise wholeheartedly if this offends anyone. I'm sorry I'm not a beacon of positivity, but I hate this. 

I am so low, and I actually am beginning to hate whatever the hell is in my womb (because I know it's not a baby), I want it out, yesterday.

I just want to go back to normal.

I hope I'm not the only person to feel this way, and if I have offended anyone else, again, I am sorry. But if just one other person feels the same way and reads this post and doesn't feel as alone for hating something she should love, then it's served it's purpose.


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## lanarkshirelass (Sep 10, 2014)

Had quite a few PM's from that last post   thanks girls. One encouraged me to try and speed up the process.

So, just to further update. 

I contacted the local community EPAS unit (which is midwife led), their protocol is 2 weeks for all pregnancies, IVF or not. Nothing they can do, advised perhaps speaking to a consultant at the main hospital.

I figured with it being this time of year, I might even be told that there were no appointments available, particularly with me having no cramping, no bleeding etc. So I called a provate clinic and managed to get an appointment for Saturday.

But decided to call the maternity hospital and left a message with them to discuss everything with one of the midwives/consultants there and called my GP to see if they could make a referral if needed. My GP (I have to say, my GP practice is amazing) did say there wasn't much they could do regards the referral to EPAS, and would likely, as I thought, be rebuffed with it being this time of year. However, offered to do my HCG levels again and had them done and on the way to the pathology lab at the hospital within half an hour (I'm not a special patient it just so happens that the patho delivery guy comes at 16:20   but it sounded good didn't it?)

Just got home half an hour ago, responded to a few PM's and got a call from the Maternity Hospital. I spoke to an angel of a woman, not sure if she was a midwife or a consultant, but she doesn't understand why I wasn't taken back in after 7 days and has offered to see us tomorrow at 10:15. I am so relieved. One way or another, tomorrow, this will all be over. 

Now I've managed to stop sobbing in sheer frustration at everything, if I could just stop sobbing with relief long enough to make the dinner, that would be fab!

To everyone reading and everyone who has PM'd me and everyone who is reading/lurking and/or who has gone through similar  

Xx


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## lanarkshirelass (Sep 10, 2014)

I had my scan today with the loveliest midwife ever. 

She confirmed what we knew, there's no heartbeat. 

She had a good look at the scan done with the private company too. As much as she's able to confirm that the pregnancy has failed, I need to return next week for another scan. The gestational sac measures less than 25mm, and she wasn't allowed to accept the private companies scan as an initial scan.  

However, in having said that, she's went ahead and booked me in for me ERPC, Monday the 11th. So the end is in sight.

Still upset, but relieved to know an answer.

Xx


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## Kaz1979 (Apr 11, 2011)

So sorry to hear this. Xxxx


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## lanarkshirelass (Sep 10, 2014)

Thanks Kaz. One of those things. 

Xx


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