# Another BFN - how many more ?



## NICKY101 (Mar 7, 2005)

Well girls, we have failed again and we are felling the strain, i tell you. This was our third atttempt and you sometimes feel how much more can you take? We have been to the pub to drown our sorrows but don't really feel any better. Not sure what to do now,  will have a think I guess but not quite ready to adopt. Can't imagine life without our own kids, is that too much to ask? Sorry for sounding off but feel a little better now.


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## sandyw (Jun 4, 2005)

Nicky 

So sorry to hear your news -it is so hard ! Be very gentle on yourselves and try not to agonise over things too much right now (easier said than done I know) and try if you can to give yourselves a bit of space before  making any decisions

love and hugs
sandy


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## jue jue 2 (Feb 17, 2005)

nicky,
so sorry to hear your news, take care and give yourselves some time and hopefully will gain some strength to carry on, 

jue jue 2xx


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## egf (Aug 11, 2005)

Hi

Soooo sorry to hear your news  

Take care and a BIG 

Love Liz


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## Pingu (Sep 7, 2005)

Nicky,
So sad to hear your news  
Good that you went down to the pub - everything will get better so take time for yourselves before you make any more decisions. Blowing you lots of bubbles too.
Take care and big hugs 

Love Carla. XXX


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## *JENT16* (May 17, 2005)

Hi Nicky

So sorry, know exactly how you feel. I tested yesterday - 3rd cycle also and again negative result.
I do want to carry on becos I desperately want a child of our own but I know what you mean about 'how much more upset and disappointment can you possibly take?'
I do truly believe that it WILL happen one day but how long do you go on waiting for that day? 

Don't know about you but I have found planning the next cycle helps me to deal with the upset. Looking forward to the next cycle seems to drag me out of the hole.

The whole IVF process is very emotional and I don't think people totally understand unless they have been through it themselves.

Keep your chin up and hope everything gets better ~(for both of us)
take care
Jen x


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## twiggy2 (Dec 12, 2004)

Hi Nicky  

Know exactly how it feels and yes it hurts so so much its hard to explain.

I too have had my third negative you spend two whole weeks feeling, thinking hoping etc etc then to get the dreaded result.

Just make sure you take good care of you and your DH (as it hurts them as much as it hurts us too).

Just remember one day it will be our turn but we must never give up hope.

Sending you lots of hugs  


Twiggy2


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## Elaine R (Aug 19, 2003)

Hi!

I failed my third attempt at IVF - tested 1st September.  It's hard to understand why we are having such unfair results when others around us strike it lucky first time.  Best thing I can recommend is to have a plan for the next treatment and to do something for you whereby your body benefits - keep up the healthy diet, exercise, drink loads of mineral water, take the supplements, have reflexology, etc.  That way you are still doing something to help you conceive or prepare for the next treatment.  If you let yourself go physically, the mental side will take longer to get over the result.

My plan is to try something new and I start acupuncture tomorrow.  Even if it is a placebo effect, at least I can look back and say that I tried absolutely everything!!!

We should start a 'long-timers thread' for anyone failing 3 times or more!!!

Take care and don't give up just yet.  If IVF is about 25% chance of success a go, I have reckoned with having embryos put back at least 4 times.  I know statistically it does not mean a cumulative effect, but the medical team finds out more each time you do a cycle.

Love,

Elaine R x


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## Megan10 (Jul 16, 2004)

Nicky,
I am so sorry to see your news. Its just a nightmare isn't it.
I saw Elaine mention a thread for those who have had multiple cycles. In fact I started one a while back on the IVF thread (may be on page 2). Why not come and join us there?

Love MeganXX


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## Ems H (Aug 2, 2005)

I have just found out that my second full cycle has failed (also had a failed FET last year). I just can't understand why. Every time grade one embryos (actually described as fabulous and amongst the best they have seen). Is something really wrong? Why won't they stick?
DH says if they knew what made them stick they'd do it? 
Has anyone had any further investigations into why their cycle has failed or have you all be told it's just bad luck?
Take Care all
Emma


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## Chadwick (May 12, 2005)

Hi Emma,

just found out today that my third ICSI failed   - each time we've had a couple of top grade embies put on board but they just fail to stick and it's so frustrating not knowing why - so far we've not been given any answers except 'nature'.  Going to book follow up with consultant and ask about immune issues / blood flow to uterus as I've read how they can badly affect implantation - not sure my clinic (Hammersmith) does much with immunology so might have to seek tests privately &/or change clinic again but I just don't think I can go through this roller-coaster again without exploring every avenue first. 

After 3 attempts in 9 months we are going to give it a bit of a rest - constantly worry about the birthdays rolling by though (will be 37 in Jan!!)  To add to the worry pot - I gave up my job in Jan stupidly thinking that we would have a baby due by now so need to find a new job ASAP as the savings have been severley dinted by the whole process - will need to be in situ for a while before I start the whole days-off saga again too!!  

Hope you get some hopeful answers from your consultant and that you get your dream at the next attempt.

Take care
Jayne x


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## yonny (Mar 5, 2005)

Theres really nothing to say is there?? apart from I feel for you all!
Big hugs to all of you 
yonny x


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## allison kate (Aug 9, 2005)

Big hugs to you all   

I do know how you feel at this time having just had a failed IVF (my first but after years of taking Clomid!).  I think it's the not knowing why which is the hardest.  If we knew why it didn't work then we could change what we did the next time.  I also had a Grade 1 12 cell embie, one of the best they had ever seen and I am worried that it didn't work because I have problems with getting it to stick..does anyone know what these immune tests are called?

I guess we just have to keep strong and keep believing that our dreams will come true.
I truely am thinking of you
Allison xxx


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## Chadwick (May 12, 2005)

Hi Allison,

there's a FF thread on Investigations & Immunology (under 'Starting out & Diagnosis)  with loads of info on the blood tests - a lot of them mention a Dr Beer but he only does them at a handful of clinics.  I'm going to devote a few hours to sift through it all in prep for my review consultation. Will pass on any gems I find.

Love
Jayne x


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## Anne_7 (Mar 20, 2005)

Hi Ladies,

Just wanted to say that I have read that the odds go up on your 8th treatment, but most women give up before then.  So if you are strong enough, keep on going.

Love, Anne X


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## allison kate (Aug 9, 2005)

Thanks Jayne for the info...sometimes is difficult to find your way around FF, isn't it!  There's just so much information.....

Allison


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## Jo1970 (Oct 18, 2005)

Hi Nicky,
Just joined and posted first message today. Me to just had BFN after 3rd IVF. My mum desperately wants me stop as she can't bear to see me go thru' this again but I can't accept that we won't have our own baby.
People just don't understand how painful this is. I saw an article in the paper about Gaby Logan describing her battle with IVF - but she had 1 cycle which worked, The real battle is coping with failed cycles, it's a nightmare. I think we just have to keep strong and focussed on another go
good luck too, love Jo XX


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## NICKY101 (Mar 7, 2005)

Thanks for all your kind words and so sorry to hear of others negative results. We went to tenerife for a week recently but dh ill all week with bad cold so spoilt it somewhat, still nice to get away. Having repeat semen analysis december to see if anything changed and follow up soon after. Not ready for more needles for a while yet, hopefully in the new year. Will look on that thread re immunology, thanks Jayne. Good luck all in your next journey through this rollercoaster.


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