# Chances of recipient changing her mind?



## Scary987 (Oct 5, 2007)

Hi all,

I was just wondering if any of you sharers have had a recipient change their mind before or during treatment? 
This issue has been brought up at the clinic & it's a possibility that I had never considered.  Now it's just added to my worry list along with all the other little niggles like the possibility of lack of response and early ovulation. As a first time sharer, I feel very pressured to 'perform' well especially now it's not just for me & DH but someone else is counting on me to help fulfil their dream!!!! Really don't want to disappoint my recipient but what are the chances of them disappointing me?

Thanks in advance! 

Scary


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## veng (Mar 10, 2008)

ive not done IVF before this aug will be my first tho my consultant said that the recipient would of been on the waiting list for atlest 2 years and if for some reason they stoped due to drugs or something then i would have to wait. inless i had gone past baseline then i would get all the eggs with no extra cost and ivf would go ahead,try not to worry too much


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## nades (Aug 18, 2007)

Hi

I have just done a egg share cycle and asked the same question and was told if she canceled after stimming started i would just have my treatment as planned and keep all the eggs at no extra cost,
if she canceled before that i could pay for my treatment and carry on 

Nades x


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## AirmansWife (Apr 30, 2006)

For heaven's sake Scary I really didn't contemplate that one.  I've done egg share twice and currently down regulating for #3.  I might be wrong, but I think the bigger threat on backing out is the donor not the recipient.  They have put a lot of thought into it; possibly years of thought.  Donors may have just considered it a few months before they donate.  From thought to donation was six months for me, but my recipient had been on the list for over two years.


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## lou1736 (Mar 23, 2005)

Hi,

Well my partner and I were all ready to start our first IVF/egg share cycle and on friday the clinic phoned to tell me the recipient wants to put it off and wait for a few weeks before starting as she has 'meetings' to attend!!!! Well I'm sorry but we have to re organise our own work life around this as well and I was astounded at this! I phoned the clinic back and told them no, we don't want to wait a few weeks! I initially felt a bit bad for her but I cannot believe if having a baby is that important like it is for us and you've waited so long to find a donor you wouldn't jump at the chance asap!? It sounds very odd to me. Surely a few meetings can be rescheduled and this should be more important? Anyway the clinic said that's fine and she'll just miss out and I'll be immediately matched up with someone else! As I said I did feel a bit sad for her but it made me wonder and I'm thinking maybe it's fate that she wasn't supposed to get my eggs anyway? I get the feeling this is just the start of many potential hiccups though....! 

Lou x


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## Scary987 (Oct 5, 2007)

Thank you for your replies ladies, AirmansWife, I totally understand what you're saying but it has suprised me how common this actually is. A friend of mine up North has just had her recipient change her mind due to 'work commitments ' and she was due to start down reg on Monday. Obviously some people aren't as committed as the majority of us who can't wait to get started.  Lou - that's a good view to take that maybe that wasn't the right recipient for you but I'm sure you won't have many more hiccups!

Best wishes & positive thoughts to you all! 

Scary xx


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## shon1982 (Jan 3, 2008)

Funny you should mention it, I am going through exactly that at the moment. I am now begining to wander about the type of woman that I am giving my eggs to. 

This is now the second month that she has delayed treatment, and to be honest I am about to explode. What's more, all the stress of it seems to have brought AF on 2 weeks early. Not sure but I have really bad AF pains and I feel at my whit's end. 

As you will see from my signature I was diagnosed with the CF gene, so we were lucky that the recipient wanted to go ahead. However, after the clinic demanding money in time for this months treatment (which we had to make an arrangement with our motgage company to not pay last month), we paid up and we were given "Confirmed dates on Friday. They are now sitting on our money earning interest of three months, by the time we actually have our treatment.

On Tuesday, low and behold, the clinic ring to inform me that she can't make it to the UK for this cycle and we now won't start down regging till next month. 

I am funing, we have booked time off work, cancelled all commitments and were geared up ready to go. 

I was reminded by the clinic that due to my CF gene, I will prob have to wait quite a while to be matched again, so it is not worth pulling out. 

We are lead to believe that the recipients may have been waiting for some years for a donor, and I really feel for them, however, this woman just thinks that my eggs are on tap waiting for her and I really do think tht it is extremly inconsiderate to delay for a second month running, and of course I am concerned that she may be having second thoughts.

As if the stress of it all isn't enough. 

I am affraid that delaying and cancelling treatment is a very real fear, however, I do think that I am just an unlucky one and I am sure that you will be fine. The thought of this not working and having to go through all of this again just turns my stomach.

xxx


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## lou1736 (Mar 23, 2005)

Hey Shon...... have PM'd you! 

Lou xx


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