# Egg donation



## Poppiej2006

Hello I'm new to the site I am 42 and I have a six year old daughter who was naturally conceived. Our other darling daughter was born stillborn in 2015 at 30 weeks we are totally broken Hearted. we have been trying to conceive  for around 18 months with no luck. Last week we finished ivf which was unsuccessful. We are now considering and have been advised to go down the donor route and not to try IVF again as I only had one egg and was on the maximum melds and they feel it will be less than 10% chance. We are looking at IVF SPAIN in Alicante.

My question is has anyone else had donor eggs how did you feel also is there anybody out there who has been lucky enough to have a child naturally like myself how did the sibling feel also anyone that has gone through the Heart break of having a stillborn baby how was your pregnancy with a donor egg? I  really want to be pregnant again but I'm Petrified let alone with the anxiety of having a donor egg. Our daughter was taken so cruelly away and although nothing on this earth will replace her we really would like another little one it's been a long journey and our life has revolved around this. 

My daughter misses her sister terribly and she talks about her all the time and we want to try to give this to her also. 

Did you have fears of your child not looking like you or your other child if you. I understand that there are genetics that the baby receives from the birth mother I just wondered if anybody had had a donor egg how did you Feel? Would be great to hear from you xx


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## deblovescats

Poppie - I am sorry for your tragic loss and I'm glad you have a gorgeous daughter to cherish. It is truly heartbreaking for you. I don't have a genetic child but I have two beautiful children as a result of donor egg. I came to the decision to do this due to my age when I started treatment and was looking statistically at a 5% chance of success. Logically I wanted to maximise my chances of a healthy baby and felt donor eggs was the best option for me. There is a lot to think about and it's not an easy decision, especially having a genetic child as well. However, bear in mind the child would still be genetically related to your daughter via your DP.
Donor eggs is obviously easier on the body than OE and is not as time consuming. I worried about not bonding with the child but once I was pregnant, I loved that baby so much. I was lucky and got 4 blastocysts out of 12 eggs from an egg sharer. I now have a son who is almost 3 and a baby daughter who's 7 months. I also still have 2 frozen embryos in storage. You are always on tenterhooks waiting to find out how many eggs you've been allocated. We are the ones who nurture the baby once we are pregnant and are the ones who love our baby when s/he's born. I worried about it with my first pregnancy, but the second time, I barely gave it a thought. It's amazing the number of people who have commented how much like me they are! Even the donor nurse said the same when I went to discuss my second treatment and she obviously knew about the donor! So hopefully, if ou get a good match, this is not too much to worry about. Believe me, people see what they want to see.
Good luck.


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## Poppiej2006

Hi deblovescats. I'm sorry I've only just found this message as I'm not quite used to the site yet. Thank you so much for your reply and for sharing your wonderful children. It's so unfair that we are given a 5% chance and this is one of the reasons we decided donor egg.

  We are now going ahead i am still very very nervous and anxious and so much going through my head. We have an appointment in Czech republic and I am due the egg donation at the end of August, where did you have yours? We would have loved the UK but we don't think we could afford it. With the egg sharing in the UK is it much cheaper? I'm just very sad that little one will not have my Welsh heritage (my husband is english)  we've not looked into egg sharing.

It's so lovely to hear you felt connected to your babies from the start and that they look like you. It's so amazing. Thank you for sharing xxx


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## HopefulKayte

I am so sorry for your tragic loss.

We struggled with primary infertility starting as soon as we were married in our early 30s. We were able to have a son through our OE IVF in our mid-30s. We always knew we would try for a sibling and expected another fight, unfortunately now at 39 the fight hasn't resulted in that sibling yet. Our child is 4.5 and we have had many failed fresh IVF cycles and FETs, 1 chemical and 1 miscarriage thrown in there too but mostly BFNs.

We got to the point where our son was asking for a sibling and seemed more attached to his baby cousins and his friends siblings than they were. This has continued and he would love and accept any baby that came our way. Personally for us, this has shown us the true meaning of family and love, and we fully embraced the notion of donor eggs.

Unfortunately our first cycle was a total bust and the donor didn't do much better than me. It was devastating and through the roof expensive. We are currently planning on an overseas cycle in Czech Republic and we have both decided that if the odds are better for us with double donor, we would also embrace that.

If you ever want to chat or if there is a more active thread to join (just found this specific forum today after some sad and sleepless nights) I would love to help support one another. x


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## beth_brown

It is indeed a terrible loss for you, and I know it could have been devastating. Although, like you have said, nothing can replace the little one, I am also glad you are looking to overcome the loss and try again. I think, how the child looks should be the least of your worries. I think the clinic you are associated with will (and should) make sure there is a match obviously. The clinic we are seeking the help of, has explained the process and we are fine with it. Also, they have a 100% guaranteed success with pretty good packages too. 
I think, once I have the baby with us, we would forget about everything else. I hope you have a successful attempt and are able to be a mother again! Good luck.


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## Mindy43

Hi Beth_Brown I'm new to the group. I have a 3 yr old Daughter and recently been told I have a very very low amh. Egg donation is our only option it seems. I'm 43 (44 in September) I'm looking for clinics abroad. Are you able to share which one you are using? Hope it's ok to ask x


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## FJG

HI There,
Just found this thread and feel it is more appropriate.
I have a DS who is now 5 conceived naturally, and have been TTC since 14wk MC in 2015.  Just this week had a failed OE IVF cycle, although it was my 1st one - and would love another OE sibling deep down if I am honest with myself, DE is probably the only way to get a sibling.
Those of you who have posted - have you gone abroad or in the UK? 
With egg sharing in the UK? I thought this was for those who where youthful and able to share their own eggs? as a recipient is this still DE or have I missed a trick?
Would prefer to stay in UK but with the high costs abroad may be my only option.  Experiences & opinions are very welcome.
x


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## Ttc2at40

Hi everyone

I am in the same boat as many of you. I have been lurking on FF for a few years now! We've had three full cycles of OE IVF and only 1 miscarriage to show for it (and one previous miscarriage achieved naturally). I am 43 and will be 44 in March. Time marches on. We have one son who will be 6 in January. I'm not so troubled by the age gap (there are 9 years between my sister and myself and we get on really well), but I am a bit worried about how old I am getting to be pregnant!  

I wanted to try with DE sooner but my husband really wanted a child that was both of ours. We are now looking at DE IVF and I am feeling a bit daunted by the expense and yet another gamble with 10-12K (gulp). I am in London. Can anyone recommend a clinic for DE? Are there any that are particularly better than others? 

x


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## morganna

Hi,


10-12K? for ONE attempt at donor egg?


I am going to Ukraine, and you get 5 attempts at DE, along with PGD (sex selection), hotels, meds, food, and airport transfers, for 9,900 euros. OR your money back!


There are other clinics that offer DE for much less than 10-12K.  


I went to Team Miracle in Cyprus for DE, and there is a thread you can pop on, under the International section 'Cyprus/T|urkey'
Also check out the Dogus thread.


I am sure there will be other recommendations from other people.


Hope this helps!


Morganna xx


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## Ttc2at40

Hi Morganna

Thank you for your reply! We did look at DE abroad, and am still considering it. Part of me thinks that the child will one day want to know more about their genetic family and so I would like him/her to be able to do this if s/he wants to. I think that abroad all donors are anonymous and the child can't find out the donor's name later?  Its a very hard choice.


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## morganna

Hi,


Yes, the egg donors are anonymous.
And some sperm donors are anonymous, some, non anonymous.


Wishing you all the best.


Morganna x


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## miamiamo

> Can anyone recommend a clinic for DE? Are there any that are particularly better than others?


No first hand experiences, however recommend looking at egg donationfriends they list tons of clinics with stats and prices xx


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## deblovescats

FJ - just wanted to clarify for you about DE. The egg share is for both donors and recipients. The donors have to be 35 and under and meet criteria with various tests, but recipients can be any age dependent on upper age at a clinic. The recipient is still part of the egg share but obviously they are not the egg sharer.


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## HopefulKayte

Just wanting to check in with this thread again as there have been recent posts about journeys possibly coming to an end and OE IVFs not working. I was curious if anyone is currently trying any form of donor cycle to bring a sibling for their child?

We have tried 2 donor egg cycles, one failed, one early m/c. We have decided to move to donor embryos at Gennet in Prague as on the last cycle my husband's sperm was deemed an abnormal sample and they intervened with IMSI. We are so hopeful to have a sibling, though financially this has incurred major debt for us, but with solid jobs we hope one day the pursuit will ultimately pay off.

Anyone else going down this road for a sib?


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## hogmeister

Hi HopefulKayte, no but I would have done if the DE didn't work. I think you are doing the right thing and this will give you the best chance of a sibling for your DS so very exciting! I personally would have ruled out nothing, the sight of my DS sitting watching TV on our massive sofa by himself used to make me feel almost sick. I am eternally relieved and grateful that I came on this site after a miscarriage and started reading about DE which had never occurred to me. Good luck!! x


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## HopefulKayte

Thank you hogmeister for your reply... I actually felt my heart lift inside my chest  Amazing how some days a little piece of hope just gives you what you are needing.
Congrats on your twins, that is absolutely wonderful  
I relate to your emotions you had watching your child alone. I've been so depressed lately, going to neighbourhood birthday parties with my son and he's the only only, trying to explain things to him, drifting away from our friends (the other kids parents) who know of our pain and his pain but don't utter a word over the years, through our losses and as others are born, and me not having the emotional strength to bring it up or ask for their friendship or for them to be friends rather than avoiding us. Celebrating holidays with our nieces and nephews, younger than my son who also now have their own younger siblings, taking photos of the kids and they're holding their siblings on their lap and again my little one is just sitting there, another year passed and holding a stuffy instead, and again no family members ever saying a word to us.
It's heavy, none of these people struggling to have a child and the lengths to what we have gone to or attempted, it's hard not to feel ugly and bitter and desperate inside. So grateful for my miracle boy and striving hard hoping I can make my own family that includes someone for him, should anything happen to my husband or me, and seeing the lack of support and emotional IQ our limited family provides, including for him.
New Year, not a new dream, but new opportunities!


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## expatmum2

Hi everyone, I'm just waiting to see if my first DE IVF procedure worked (I can test on Saturday).  

My story: I was never very fertile.  My husband and I started trying aged 24 to have a kid and I haven't used any contraception in almost 20 years.  My first son was born when I was 28.  I then fell pregnant very easily but our second son was severely handicapped and was stillborn when my oldest was 20 months old.  My husband and I tried and tried after that for another child but nothing happened.  We split up.  I was heartbroken and my son was constantly asking for a sibling and I felt like I'd let him and myself down.  Then I fell pregnant unexpectedly (relationship with a married man) when I was 36 and had my daughter.  So I have two children who are not totally genetically related anyway.  (My son was so upset when it was a girl it should also be said - having a sibling is a nice theory, the practice isn't quite what they had in mind!!).  My son is the image of his dad, yet everyone says you can tell my two are brother and sister.  Obviously they've also had the same upbringing more or less too and their voices and vocab and gestures are so like mine!  

When I met my current partner, I was 40 and he was 41, and he was desperate to have kids of his own.  We tried and nothing happened.  We went for tests and were told that my hormone levels were too low and they wouldn't waste time and money trying to use my eggs.  We thought about it long and hard.  My daughter had no relationship with her biological father when she was little and so calls my boyfriend 'papa' which was her choice because for her he plays that role.  My boyfriend loves and cares for both my kids as if they were his own.  They love and respect him too and the siblings love each other even though strictly speaking they are 'half' siblings.  I wondered how I would feel about kids who weren't genetically mine because I have kids who are biologically related, but I see my boyfriend with my kids and the love that is there and I know that I would feel the same about kids that were half is and not technically speaking 'mine'.  However, I will be the one they grow inside, who gives birth, who feeds them and is there for them.  (Frankly my eldest is 15 and I could have easily disowned him on a few occasions the last few years even though he's my dearly beloved first born child!!).  We have made this choice because we really want a family together and this is our only option.  I already have kids with different fathers and big age gaps (there are 8 years between my two and if this attempt is successful, my daughter will be 8 too).

Re my egg donor - we used Clinic Eugin in Barcelona so it's totally anonymous.  There are pros and cons to this.  Some friends had offered their eggs but I wondered how that would work in practise (my daughter's biological dad swore he would have nothing to do with her yet when she was 3, he got in touch and his family are very involved which isn't always easy).  But we don't know what we're getting either.  My donor is the same height, hair colour, eye colour and blood group.  That is all we have been told. I would say that me and my sister are totally different from the same gene pool - I'm skinny and mousey and she's plump and dark!  So don't forget genes are a bit of a lottery anyway.  The procedure was relatively simple - we went to the clinic in October and started the treatment in December and I was implanted with 2 embryos on 20 January.  My donor is 21.  We only got 6 eggs, of which only 2 fertilised and they could only get those to a day 2 transfer.  I was expecting better to be honest.  But I'll see this weekend if it worked or not.

I hope that answers some of your questions and am happy to talk more or answer any other questions.  Thinking of you.  These are not easy choices to make x


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## miamiamo

thanks for sharing yr story. We are totally dif with my sis, I am small with dark skin and dark hair, and she is beautiful blond lady, very very tall. We do love each other and always joke that either of us was adopted. There is 10-year age gap, but we always support each other. Good luck


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