# am i been stupid help points of view



## bell (May 17, 2005)

Hi Ladies

Need some help now i have stopped crying this morning and dh rushing bk to make sure l am ok, l received the first class post this morning and was completely devastated, this was a silver leaflet addressed to me, its was from a car company not putting name as have rang and waiting for someone to investigate and call me back,

When i opened it it was a little binded book and the pages are cardboard and on each page was a photo when l opened the book the fist page was the logo of the car no problems then second page a picture of a SCAN yes a Babies SCAN with a little note saying when was the last time you felt really safe, i was fixed to the seat, my stomach was on the floor, ladies l can not describe the feelings of loss, l could not move from shock, that was the last thing l expected, l have never screamed so loud ladies, dh turned up and was shocked that they could use something so personnel to people, he has had to go bk to work now, once i had calmed down i am now really angry,

l have rang the company and the poor man could not believe what i was saying to him, l said that what if any ladies opened that book who had just had a M/C or lost there child, has your marketing department not thought about anybody who is trying for children and have had to accept they can't, he said NO i said well your talking to one that is trying to move on with my life after 3 M/C and by sending that scan picture your company had brought it all back to me, l said that l want a director to call me back as l probably will not be the only one ringing them today, so i wait in anticipation,

ladies i am so angry and hurt that a company can use such a personnel item a scan picture of a 8 mth baby, this has really brought me back to that start of my process of grief, i am shocked and hurt, Please tell me if you think i am overreacting

bell


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## VT (Aug 5, 2005)

Oh God, Bell.

What a complete nightmare. I am so sorry that you had to deal with that this morning.

How dare they? You have absolutely done the right thing in ringing them and demanding to speak to a Director.

I know there isn't anything I can say to make you feel any better, but I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.

Take care, honey.

VT
x


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## emmag (Mar 11, 2007)

You're not overreacting, it's shocking. I'm so shocked I can't forumulate a proper post, but I just wanted to tell you no, you're not overreacting. xxx


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Bell - that is OUTRAGEOUS!! You are not overreacting - they better let you speak to the director. I would even seek compensation (that 'll shake em up a bit). You should definitely report it to the Advertising Standards Authority. Is it a mainstream manufacturer? It is just shocking. What idiot thought up that scheme? 
On a similar theme - I'm still being sent junk mail from companies I signed up to when I was pg with Grace (4 years ago!) Even though I have phoned and cancelled, phoned again, written to them etc they still send me mailings. The spooky thing is that now they are mailing things for children approching school age - it is as though they have a profile of Grace and are following it. I find it incredibly distressing. But it seems there is nothing I can do. It should be their responsibility to stop the mailings. I've even written to Watch Dog about it. Actually - it might be worth you raising your latest experience with them. We need to be heard!
Bernie xxx


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## EML (Jul 25, 2005)

Dear Bell
How awful for you! No, you are not over-reacting! I'd have done the same in your shoes!!! You were right to complain! What moron thought that this would sell a car Some smug new parent in the design department I'll bet!
I hope you get at least an apology.
Thinking of you.
Love
Elaine


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## Grumpygirl (Oct 24, 2004)

Hi Bell,
Well done you for having the guts to phone up and complain, I had a similar thing (although less visual) and wrote a letter of complaint as I was so upset I'd have sounded like some raging emotional woman rather than a person genuinely and rationally upset by their advertising.

We have a John Lewis credit card and they send regular mailings with booklets for wine, housey stuff and generally send us a brochure now and again for something they think we'd like probably based on our spending. We do get send kiddy brochures, but then we buy for nieces and nephews and kids of friends, so while I have a brief moment of 'grrrrrrrr' I don't mind that too much.

But, just after my major op which included losing my ovaries and during chemo I received a letter from them with a targetted brochure of nursery furniture and various accessories. The letter was addressed to me personally and started with the title 'Everything for your new arrival.'  I have no idea where they got the idea we were expecting a baby from, maybe we just fitted into the right demographic, but it really upset me and I cried anew for days. I know I was grieving generally at the time but I have the choice to ignore baby related stuff if I like, I can't ignore a letter addressed directly to me that so clearly got it wrong.

Anyway, they were v.good and wrote me an apology letter, after the senior manager in charge of mailing  rang me personally to apologise. He said that a member of his team had bypassed a crucial stage before sending it out and if it had been checked by whoever it was supposed to have been it would never have gone out. He said he too had suffered infertility issues and it would have upset his wife. He was really nice and very apologetic. I did forgive them as he was so nice and dealt with my complaint personally but I expected better of John Lewis. He promised the person involved would be disciplined though.  

I know just where you're coming from, Bell, and good for you for standing up for yourself. I hope I don't see the same advert and if you need anyone else to complain let me know, I've got some experience!

Big hugs and well done,
Love
Giggly
xx


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## TLZ (Feb 27, 2007)

OMG !

Words fail me at the insensitivity of some companies/people ...

You are definitley NOT overreacting and I would feel exactly the same as you.

In fact, about 2 weeks ago I had a targeted mailing from a well known supermarket (won't say which one !) and it was all to do with babies, breast-feeding, losing that baby-weight, baby recipes etc etc - you get the drift - I was horrified and cried my eyes out.

I wouldn't mind but I don't buy nappies/formula or anything remotely baby related so why should they think I had a baby for chrissakes !! Grrrr!!!!  


You are not alone, hope you give them what for !

TLZ


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## gbnut (Aug 4, 2006)

Bell

That must have been really terrible.  Some advertising really is not appropriate and this is one of them. I am really proud of you for phoning and being strong.  I hope the director does phone back and that they stop using this material to advertise.

You certainly are not overacting

 to you

Susan x


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Bell,

I am so sorry that you have received something like this through the post and that it has upset you so greatly - how shocking for you hon 

I know there was an advertising campaign on the tv some months ago featuring pictures of a baby in the womb saying the same slogan - I complained to the ASA and a friend of mine also complained. You can find the link to complain here - http://www.asa.org.uk/asa/how_to_complain/

Anyone who receives baby related mailings can contact the mail preference service which can be found here - http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/bmpsr/ I contacted them a few years ago after receiving tons of baby related stuff through the door - I know that it probably won't stop things like what happened to giggly or what happened to you yourself Bell, but it is a useful thing to have in place.

Love to all
Emcee xxx

This post contains unconfirmed links and readers are reminded that fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Bell, I too am outraged at this and am glad you did something about it. I had a similar thing thru the post which i posted on this board about over a year ago.I was disgusted at it and it was actually from the private clinic where we had our failed iuis inviting us to " a family day"!!!! Can you believe that?   You think they would have checked their records to see  that our treatment didnt bloody work!!! It was also a year since our failed treatments!

I was going to write to then and complain but in the end i didnt as i was going away that particular weekend and had been looking forward to it for ages and didnt want to spoil it.I also thought that if i contacted them it would bring everything flooding back when i had spent the last year building up my strenght again.I shouldnt have been surprised really as the only person in the actual clinic who was remotely sympathetic when our iuis failed was the secretary!!!

I hope this makes them think about their next campaign. There will always be these insensitive people in the world. At least you know that we all understand. Take care xxx


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## bell (May 17, 2005)

Hi Ladies

Well l am glad to read the you all dont think i am being stupid, l am still very angry with this company and they still had not rang me back so l have called them again today and they said they are looking into the matter at the moment and that they will come back to me when they have finished the investigations, l have said that that is not good enough and that i was advised this already on the day this happened, i said that l asked the director to call me back to acknowledge my complaint, she said that they had not done the advertising of this product and they out source to anoth company, l said well that really is not and excuse to me as i know that your company have to sign off any marketing material, also the booklet has there logo on it, l also said that if i do not get any answers in the next few days latest by thursday l am taking this to the asa and then leave it up to them, and i am angry that no one as answered me or phoned to say sorry

bell


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