# If BFN on HPT after 2WW, would you still reccomend blood test?



## SIBI (Mar 20, 2012)

As my clinic procedure states that in case of BFN you will stop the medication straight away...is that possible?  My clinic is CRGH.
Thx


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## Maybethistime (Oct 20, 2008)

After three bfn's on hpt, my clinic still insisted on blood test. Too many fals negatives to take any chances they said..


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## ulman (Apr 9, 2011)

Hi

I tested with HPT this a.m, BFN... I am due to get my blood test at clinic tomorrow, I think that they will insist I attend anyway for their records and because the blood test is definitive proof.

My OH and me have been crying our eyes out this morning, this was our final IVF cycle on NHS and as I am 40 and my amount and quality of eggs is low it may be worth ending the journey here.

Devastating.

xx


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## SIBI (Mar 20, 2012)

Hi Ulman, I'm so sorry but as many women say on the web, don't give up until you get the blood test results! There has been cases where women were BFN HPT but then thy did the blood test and it was BFP. Never never never give up!! there is always a solution and you need to fight for it! It might be possible you just don't see it now..my fingers crossed for your test tomorrow and a super big hug!!!! Xxx


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## ulman (Apr 9, 2011)

thank you simobi xx

I think I may be getting my AF today too though.

I have rang the clinic and we are still going for the blood test in the morning, ive asked if they can refer us for counselling and book us in for a consultation with the Doctors there who treated me.

xx


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## vanessa1 (May 11, 2011)

Lovely Ulman, I'm so sad to hear you got a BFN, I have to say please don't give up! I know you mentioned you maybe getting your AF but my consultant and the embryologist told me that it is incredible how many people they have treated who may have failed treatments and start looking at life options and then, they get pregnant! Miracles do happen and it could happen to you and I hope it does ! Hun, I know everything seems hopeless at the moment but keep positive in your heart.  
I send you a huge great big hug, take care of yourself.
Vx


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## SIBI (Mar 20, 2012)

Hi ladies, I am so terrified..I have all signs of my AP coming..headache, back pain, sore breast, tummy pain, heavy legs..my 2WW not over yet (HPT due on 26/03)...can't imagine to get them


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## Maybethistime (Oct 20, 2008)

These are also positive signs, ain't mother nature a cruel boss!


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## ulman (Apr 9, 2011)

thank you so much for that Vanessa.

All of my adult life I have ahd the feeling that I would never be a mother, I could never imagine it, or really visualise it.  FOr years I had unrpotected sex with long term partners and still never got pregnant, Then I meet my current partner of almost 12 years and for the last about 8 years have not used any contraception (i stopped taking the pill way bak in the 90's) and have now been through two lots of IVF, my eggs are sparse and not very good quality.  We almost did not go ahead with this last EC and ET as the specialist thought it may not work.

All of this is pointing towards me never having my own children.

This will kill me.  I have been crying since yesterday morning, I really do not want to live without the prospect of my own children.

My life was unhappy before all of this.  Now it's unbearable.

SOrry to be so depressing but it's exactly how I am feeling.

We did not attend the clinic for blood test today as my AF is in full flow now, so we have an appointment in two weeks or so to see the consultant and discuss where we go from here.  ANy further treatments will not be on the NHS.
I don't hold out ANY hope of being a mother.


Life is very very cruel.


xxxxx


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## MrsScooby (Jun 7, 2011)

Have replied to feeling like this on the 22/03 test date thread.


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## SIBI (Mar 20, 2012)

Dear Ulman,

I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling so bad and I completely understand your feeling of desperately wanting to be a mum. 

When I started this process I felt lucky for the options NHS was giving to me and in some way I know at the bottom of my heart that if it doesn't work, I won't try privately any further as I believe there is a reason behind what happens to us. 
However I do too want to be a mum and I want to have kids with my so much loved husband. 
Have you ever considered adoption? What's the best match between a mother that nature has deprived of having kids and abandoned kids with no family?

Please still try to think positive: you have a lovely partner and this is the most important thing in the world! now, it's just a matter of digesting the news and trying to see that there are other doors, you just need to be brave again and open them.

You know, I watched a nice movie over the week end "the best exotic marigold hotel" and the protagonist said something so true "everything will be fine in the end; if it's not fine, then it's not the end yet"! Ulman, it's not the end yet!!! Please, believe it  

Lots of love
xxx


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## ulman (Apr 9, 2011)

HI Simobi

Thanks for that.  I also used to say that I wouldn't go and pay for private treatment but back then we didn't realise how much this would hurt, i think we WOULD now pay for one more go, but I think it depends on what the specialists think.

Like I have said before on here, my life was getting me down BEFORE we heard this news and now it's almost unbearable, I hate my job but my anxiety may make it hard to start again in another, I don't have many friends, I'm fairly down on myself, hate where we live etc etc etc. been off work sick for over 3 months with depression/anxiety/stress.

BUT my partner is so supportive and loving, I worry about him as it's hit him hard too, he didn't think it would have been so difficult and that we would feel this bad.  We are going to seek some counselling.

xx


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## ulman (Apr 9, 2011)

p.s lots of luck for the 26th! I really hope it's a positive!

xxx


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## Julie37 (Feb 16, 2012)

Dear Ulman
I was so sad for you reading yr last few posts. My heart goes out to you and I too have felt a lot of the same feelings. I just wanted to say please don't give up yet... there ARE other options. I appreciate that there isn't any more NHS funding for you (there's been none at all where I live in Surrey) but if you are able to finance yr own treatment (albeit in a little while) then you still stand the chance of becoming a mummy.

I dont know your full circumstances but you mentioned about yr eggs not being good, just like mine. My DP and I have embarked on the Donor Egg route. Yes it's a lot to think about and to get your head around but it's the best chance for us to be parents. I'm having my ET today and my donor is just 18yrs old so one would think they'd be pretty good eggs.

Anyway give yourself some time out and look after yourself. When your ready have a think about the other options. The counselling is a good idea too.

Julie x


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## ulman (Apr 9, 2011)

Hi Julie.

Thanks for the support.

Good luck with the ET today 

At the moment we are both (especially me) very raw. Seeing babies never used to make me feel sad but it does now, and it sounds ridiculous but this morning I got a letter form my GP advertising that they 'now do coils and contraceptive implants'.......  They really need to look through their notes!  

My situation is this in a nutshell: age 40 BF 37(no issues with his sperm etc etc), investigations into not getting preg naturally started around 2006 properly, had a cyst removed on L ovary, (not connected to infert) had the dye test-ok except left tubes not as clear as right ones.  Referred to clinic for IVF, attempted almost a year ago.. low hcg levels, 1st IVF went to implant of embryo then failed.  Started again this feb on short protocol, took Gonal F for an extra week as not responding too well, went on to ET etc (consultant said it was not looking likely but decided to give the EC and ET a go) with two eggs, one fert, ET with one embryo.. failed again.

My infertility is classed as 'unexplained'. And my levels are dropping. Eggs are not v good qual.


I'm angry that my body is letting me down...

Good luck to you.

Sending best wishes and lots of luck 
xxx


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## Julie37 (Feb 16, 2012)

Thank you Ulman

You certainly have had a tough time. Just dont give up. I'm sure there will come a time in due course where u will feel up to reviewing things.

Wishing you lots of luck too.

Julie x


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## vanessa1 (May 11, 2011)

Ulman, there's one thing that can put a smile on your face through all the heartache, you've gots lots of new friends now! We all care about you, doesn't matter that we haven't met you, or there in person but we're all here for you now!  
I just wanted to tell you something hopeful, in terms of age, I have a friend who was in exactly the same position as you (me too) who is 46 and after 6 rounds of IVF she now has a little boy! They couldn't afford the cost of the ivf in the UK and went to Greece for their last treatment, maybe you and you're BF should move there for a few months and have a change seen, put some sunshine and smiles into your life! (I'm saying that but obviously I don't really know if that would be possible!) but it sounds like you could do with a change in your life to make you happier, you could do this and try for a baby again!   Thank goodness you have a lovely BF, you need to hug each other lots and lots and I'm sure that it's going to happen for you both!
   SO don't give up and I send you lots of love and Hugs,
Take care of yourself,
Vx


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## sapphire75 (Mar 22, 2012)

SIMOBI said:


> As my clinic procedure states that in case of BFN you will stop the medication straight away...is that possible? My clinic is CRGH.
> Thx


Dear Simobi
I'm at CRGH too! My 3rd ICSI....and doing my HPT today. YIKES!  
Yes Ive heard other clinics do a blood test anyway, regardless of HPT result. Like the others say, I think the blood test is more definitive. Have you called the unit?

Hugs xxx


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## ulman (Apr 9, 2011)

Hi Vanessa, I just don't think that my eggs will be good enough for any more IVF. We will wait and see when we go to the consultation.  My small worry now is that my bf will have to do without being a father if he wants to stay with me, he says he is with me for ME but i don't want him to lose out on that.  I feel insecure, lonely and vulnerable at the mo, really feels like a bereavement.  I think the thought of having a baby gave me confidence comfort and a sense of worth.

This is going to be tough, very.

xxx


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## SIBI (Mar 20, 2012)

Hi Sapphire75,
Well done you!! Congratulations!!! Tomorrow, after HPT I will call them anyway and see what they say...fingers crossed 

Hi Ulman, 
You are right - it's a very difficult time but if you have been all through this process, I bet you are a strong woman and sooner or later, you'll find the strenght again to fight and go on with your life, seeing again the positive things in your life. Be strong dear friend


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## angela123 (Feb 15, 2010)

Hi ulman,
It IS a bereavement the loss of the possibility of a genetic child will take take time to grieve for... I like Julie are on my 2ww with 2 grade 1 blasts on board (my best chance yet) from 19 year old donor, but you NEED to grieve for the child you have never met...it took me time to be more than happy to go down the DE route.. time will help to give you some idea of how you need to move forward for yourself....wether private ivf, adoption, DE or life without a child.... all i can say from someone who has been in your situation that giving yourself time to grieve is the most important thing to do.....


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## SIBI (Mar 20, 2012)

Life is cruel - 1st IVF over...BFN


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## ulman (Apr 9, 2011)

SimoBi, sorry to hear that, are you trying again? Is it NHS?  

Angela123, you're right, I need time.  I can't stop thinking about it. I am going to try and keep busy thinking about getting healthier and fitter.  I don't feel like socialising and returning to work just yet, that's more about my anxiety/depression.

The 2ww is torture! I hope you get your positive      

Best of luck, hope you don't have too long left to wait!

Thanks for your support and kind words.

xxxx


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