# In Need of a hug!!



## Mazza1971 (Aug 19, 2009)

This morning I woke up to a text from my friend to say that her new baby girl had arrived...I felt like someone had actually stuck a knife in me and twisted it! And all morning I have just had an absolute feeling of despair hanging over me...How wicked is that!!?? I thought I was over those feelings now. Before I had my daughter and when everyone was telling me they was expecting I used to be in floods of tears (obviously after congratulating them etc.) and then miraculously I fell pregnant after 18 months. It was my turn and I used to think - Thank you sooo much for letting me have this baby. And then you get that yearning for a sibling!!!

I feel like I am actually getting worse since starting down the IVF route as if it doesn't work on our next 2 attempts then that is it - all over! And I just don't know how I am going to cope!

Anyway back to work...Somehow I feel better just posting my feelings...

Lots of Love to all.


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## professor waffle (Apr 23, 2005)

Huge hugs Mary

I can tell you you aren't alone although it's bumps that seem to bother me more than births. On saying that a friend 'struggled' to convcieve No 2 for 18 months (yes I know not that long really!) & found DH had a lower than normal count. Anyway went out for a meal with her recently & she was really down about ttc No 2 & it was his fault etc etc then get a text out of the blue announcing she is 14 weeks pg so was pg around the time we went out for a  meal. Admittedly it was close to my EDD for No 2 which I mc in Feb but I spent 2 days in floods of tears & rather ungraciously I wasn't at all pleased for her just insanely jealous & thinking how unfair it all was.

I hink now I am too old to think about No 2 as will be 44 next year but still have that longing & even more so when I see N playing on his own as he would love a sibling & it would be so good for him.


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## ladynecta (Jun 25, 2009)




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## Mazza1971 (Aug 19, 2009)

Thanks to Professor Waffle and Ladynecta.

It is normally the bumps that bother me but I think I was feeling a little low this morning due to a head cold etc. and somehow it just got to me...But it makes me feel soooooo guilty!!! 

So sorry to hear of your loss  . A miscarriage is so hard to bear and no mother ever forgets there EDD - 16th April and 23rd January will always be forever etched in my mind. However, people that haven't gone through a miscarriage will never understand the pain when your EDD date arrives. 2 of my friends have had miscarriages in the last year and I sent them a little card on their EDD just to let them know I was thinking of them and they weren't alone. And all 3 of us are in the same boat and having difficulty conceiving. Let's hope if it is their turn before me I can be gracious and pleased for them!

Please don't give up on No. 2 unless you feel ready to stop TTC (as it is sooo exhausting!)


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## sparkle_dust (Nov 2, 2009)

hi there, 
it was nice to read your posts and realise that i'm not the only 1 out there that feels like this!! 
i find it so hard being around babies, which sadly includes my sister, who throughout my ttc has had 2 little babies, i feel so bad but i know i dont spend enough time with them but its just so hard.... 
everytime i had the phone call to say she was expecting it was so hard not to break down and cry, 
i find that nobody really understands what we go through and i often get the pat on the hand, and the "dont worry it will come soon!!" which makes u want to scream!!! my husband and i have been trying for a good few years now but it doesnt seem to get any easier does it, 
sometimes just the sight of a pregnant person or a new baby makes me want to curl up and not get out of bed!!!

sorry 4 the rant  i just wanted to say i know how u feel lol

sending big hugs to all     

all the best

lisa xxxxxx


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## Piriam (Aug 29, 2003)




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## Just_me (Dec 9, 2008)

Your not alone!! Im having one of those days today! Im currently in the middle of a FET cycle and am obviously completely over run by oestrogen today! I couldn't stop crying earlier when my son said that he had no one to play with and that all his friends have brothers..... I have pangs of guilt, as he would be an excellent big brother, but is something completely out of my control.

i seem to be experiencing another round of baby booming around me... DH sister phoned last night to say that baby no. 2 was on the way. All to plan... exactly as they said.. that she would be pregnant by the time she returned to work from her previous maternity leave... aarrggghhhh. 

Sometimes I wondered whether i should just give up TTC.... and it might happen naturally... but I dont think i can take the chance in case it doesn't.... does that make sense??


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## Mazza1971 (Aug 19, 2009)

Dear Just Me

Good Luck with your FET. I    that you have an extra special Christmas present...

The problem is that people don't expect you to feel upset if you are having difficulty conceiving your 2nd child as you already have one! And you are probably feeling especially anxious as you are half way through treatment. So I am sending    your way. Try and have a little time just for you today (even if it is only a nice soak in the bath) and remember your feelings and emotions are completely normal...

I know what you mean about giving up TTC but I am completely in agreement that I couldn't take the chance..We are giving ourselves 2 more goes at IVF and then that it is! Next cycle is in January. But not sure whether I am going to be able to stop trying over what I think ovulation time is!! 

Anyway good luck and keep me posted as to how you get on...


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## Just_me (Dec 9, 2008)

Maryd... In my months off between treatment, I was secretley using the ovulation pee sticks!! Hope all goes well for you too in jan x


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## lina1 (Nov 5, 2009)

Hi there. 

I hope you don't mind me joining you. I'm new to this and have never posted before but I'm having a really horrible day AF arrived this morning   and I was convinced (again!) that this was the month. I have a DS who's 6 1/2 and we've been trying for a bruv or sis since he was 2. During this time I've had 3 MCs. This time is month 13 of TTC again and I feel that I've been living in limbo for the last 4 1/2 yrs and now I'm 40 I'm worried I'm running out of time. I do always get the "but think how lucky you have to have one gorgeous son" which makes me feel really really guilty!

xxx


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## lina1 (Nov 5, 2009)

...what I didn't say was I know how you all feel and    

xxx


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