# struggling....sister pregnant...royal baby....adoption



## willow83 (May 16, 2012)

Hi girls

Please do not judge me but I need to talk...infertility is due to DH no sperm at all.Currently considering adoption.

My beautiful, kind and amazing sister who is also one of my best friends has announced she is 9 weeks pregnant. I am so excited to be an auntie but I am also a bit teary. 

I want to adopt...really I do but all this new born baby talk is getting me low.


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## Mooncat (Oct 26, 2012)

Hi Willow,

Sorry you're having a hard time with your sister's pregnancy - one thing's for sure, no one on here will judge you. I post of a few threads and struggling other people's pregnancies is a common theme. I've shed tears over the last 4 years when my sister, both SILs, and at least ten other close friends have announced pregnancies. It's really hard. I think it's natural to feel envy and resentment, and it certainly doesn't make you a bad person.

As for how to deal with it, I'm afraid I don't have any great advice. I find talking on here helps, it's nice to chat to people who get it. And don't be hard on yourself for feeling that way, like I say, your feelings are totally understandable. 

We're not at the end of our treatment road yet, but I often think about adoption. If treatment doesn't work we definitely will adopt. I tell myself maybe that's what's meant to be, adopting is so much harder than having babies, but there are lots of kids out there who desperately need and want good parents. It's an amazing thing to do 

Hope you're feeling a little better today, the sad feeling will fade, and being an auntie is fab xx


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## Morfil (Nov 20, 2012)

Hi Willow,

No one will judge you. What you're feeling is totally normal, and as Mooncat says, you'll find plenty of other people going through the same thing on here. 

I just wanted to tell you that I'm an Aunty, and it's wonderful. You might get pangs of jealousy, and feel sad for yourself, but you'll also be so happy to meet your little niece or nephew, and you'll love him / her to bits. Enjoy, and don't hesitate to come back here if you need support

xx


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## Skittle40 (Nov 14, 2012)

Hi Willow

Can i join you in feeling low? We are TTC for 2 years, dh has very low sperm count (0.6m) and we have just been referred for IVF. 

My (single) sis announced her pregnancy to me on my 30th birthday (the day after we went to the fertility specialist), one best friend announced she's carrying twins the day we were told that we needed IVF, and then last night another best friend says she's expecting her first and my sister in law announced her pregnancy this morning!! All of these are first children and all by accident!? 

As much as I love all of these people and am so thrilled and excited for all of them, it just doesn't seem fair. 

I completely understand what you're going through, it's hard enough when it's your friends but it's even worse when it's your sister. Because you are so happy and excited for them and to be an aunty, but at the same time, you were wanting to go through this and when it's your sister you go through everything with her. my sister's asked me to be her birthing partner, but i just can't do it.

At this time, don't feel guilty for how you feel, you just have to go with your feelings and be upset when you're on your own, but put on that brave face around your sister. And talk. talk to us, we're all going through this together and it really helps to know you're not alone.

Have you told people your situation or are you keeping it quiet?

I'm with Mooncat, we're considering adoption too if IVF doesn't work for us. It's so hard, but it's such an amazing thing to do. There are so many children who dream of a loving family, it would be incredible to be able to change a child's life like that.

Good luck Willow, and keep in touch xxx


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## Skittle40 (Nov 14, 2012)

PS. my husband also had undescended testicles which were corrected at age 8, but one didn't correct so is still in his abdomen. xx


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## Kate1983 (Dec 14, 2012)

Hi Willow

Hope you're feeling a little better today. Its so hard isn't it, especially at this time of year. 
I remember thinking last year "maybe I'll be pregnant by Christmas" and then this summer thinking "well maybe I'll be pregnant by THIS Christmas". 

This weekend was the christening of my beautiful god-daughter. My best friend and I started TTC at the same time and I find it so hard that now she has a beautiful 6 months old baby. 

Some days of course I get really down, but for today I'm holding onto this precious thought:
even if I'm not lucky enough to have a baby of my own right now, I am sooo lucky to be able to surround myself with all these wonderful children of friends and family.

Its helping me today anyway; I am so proud to be this gorgeous girls godmother and whatever happens next on your journey the thing that is certain is that you will be a fantastic auntie and your niece/nephew will bring you so much joy

Good luck, K x


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