# Husband



## AngelHopes (May 25, 2012)

I always worried my DH would start to blame me for our fertility struggles and now it has happened. I am so sad- I didn't ask for this, I want to have a baby more anything in the world. We have become isolated from friends with babies as it hurts us, and he said today he has given up his life for me and doesn't see anyone and yelled at me... I am just so hurt and upset thought writing on here might help....


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## joeyrella (May 13, 2009)

Sorry to hear you are having difficulties     .  I must say that being unable to have a baby is both of your problem, regardless of who has the actual medical issues. I know how it feels though, it was almost a relief for me when we discovered we also had male factor issues even though that made it harder to conceive, it took the pressure off me and stopped me feeling guilty.

Its really tough to stay strong and not let the sadness and the pressure make you start turning on each other. I think most of us will have been where you are at some point. There is no easy way to make it better. You just have to stick with it and find what helps you. Its very hard socialising with friends with babies so try and find something else you can enjoy together.

Try not to take your DH's outburst personally, although its very hurtful for you he is just letting off steam and I daresay he doesn't mean it.


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi,

Would your DH go counselling with you?

The only reason I suggest this, is that you have been TTC for only a year and you have already lost friends and isolated yourselves, this is in turn causing tensions within your marriage.

The path to getting your dream could unfortunately be a long one when fertility issues are involved, so you will need the support more then ever of each other.

Perhaps try and arrange a night out with your friends, otherwise you could end up very lonely.

Please don't think I am making light of how hard this journey is.  It took 4 years of TTC to finally get my son.

Hugs to you

Stacey
X


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## AngelHopes (May 25, 2012)

Thank u both for your kind words and wise advice - it so helps to hear from those who have been through the same thing... We r seeing friends, but just not those with babies - but this does make it hard & I do try but it hurts to see what I want so badly. DH apologised and said it came out wrong, but I Think the tensions are so high due to our IF struggles. I think we will go to counselling tho as he tends to bottle emotions up so that helps him to talk it through and for me to see what he is feeling.  We have had a couple of months off treatment but are about to start a new cycle - I think we r both scared as we were so hurt when the cycle didn't work last time... So tensions r high. Thanks again for your advice xxx


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