# How did you know you were emotionally ready for your FET cycle?



## Joan71 (Jul 16, 2011)

Hi,
Just wondering how long most of you left it before doing your FET cycle? I had a failed DE IVF cycle in June/July (but froze half of my embryos on Day 1 due to lining issues) and was told I could do the frozen cycle straight away. When my first period came in August I decided I didn't feel ready and delayed, but am now facing my second period starting this morning, have all the drugs ready and planned to start this week, but again just don't feel at all ready and have spent most of the morning in tears trying to work out what to do. DH says it is better to get on asap as waiting won't change the result, but I'm not sure. My gut is telling me to delay one more cycle, but I'm worried that I will never feel ready and will panic like this every month.
Has anyone else felt this? Did you go ahead anyway or did you delay and eventually feel "ready"?
Thanks for any advice xx


----------



## Sunshinequeen (Mar 26, 2012)

Joan - Morning I hope that you are doing ok? Sorry to hear that you are feeling rubbish today. It's a difficult decision. 

I had my first IVF in November 2011 which was a BFN. I'm having treatment with the NHS and my hospital insists that you wait 3 months after a failed IVF to have a FET. I think that this is due to the amount of drugs in your system and to give your body a break etc. Do know if you are having a medicated or natural cycle FET? I have now had 2 natural FET's and found them significantly easier than the fresh IVF. I had my first FET in March 2012 so ended up waiting almost 4 months. I'm now trying to remember why that was and I think that I decided I needed a holiday to perk me up before my next round so we went away to the sunshine for 2 weeks in February and then started in March. I think that I needed the time physically, mentally and emotionally to get myself ready for the FET. I then got a BFP but annoyingly miscarried. 

It is a difficult decision as to how much to space out your treatment. Often I feel pulled in one direction and then in the other. I feel that my body needs time to recover between treatments but then I get worried about the months and years flying by. . . when I started trying to conceive I thought that I was fine age wise but now I'm getting more worried! 

If your clinic said you could do it the next month and some clinics say 3 months then why don't you split the difference and decide that you will go for it next month?? That will give you the next month to rest up and get mentally prepared for the next round? (Sometimes I feel a bit like we're boxers about to step into the ring for another fight!!) I think that the most important thing is for you to not get worried and stressed. As you're so upset today then maybe just wait another month. Try to stay strong and spend the next month working towards your next treatment? 

I hope that this may have helped a little. Let me know how you get on. xxxxxx


----------



## lynzb (Dec 7, 2011)

Hi Joan, I too have put treatment off but now feel more than ready. My BFN was 6 monthes ago, I have given myself time to prepare for either outcome.
If ur not ready then wait may be a couple of monthes to just be you....eat and drink what you want then perhaps you will feel ready later xx


----------



## Joan71 (Jul 16, 2011)

Many thanks for your replies Lynzb and Sunshinequeen. I love the idea of us being boxers going in for another fight Sunshinequeen...it sums up the feeling really well, and the injections even give us comparable bruising at times!

I think I've been told I can go ahead straight away because I was using donor eggs and so don't need to rest my ovaries. I have however decided not to go ahead this month in the end as I feel I need a longer break from the emotions of it all. I don't think I'd be feeling so emotional if I was ready and this is our last attempt before going down the adoption route so I need to feel strong enough to deal with a positive negative outcome.

Lynzb, I'm so glad to hear that you now feel ready. It gives me hope that I will feel that way too in the end.

Best of luck to you both xx


----------



## Kitty_Kate (Nov 2, 2007)

You need to be in a good place when you do this, so of course you need to be ready.  I knew I was ready when the weather got ****ty, and I knew I'd be happier staying in more.


----------



## Hope74 (Jun 8, 2012)

Hi Joan,
Sorry to hear you've had a tough time. I would say definitely listen to your gut feeling, and if that means waiting until next month or the month after, so be it.
I had a failed IVF in July, and felt ready to try a FET cycle once I'd had my first natural period, which was at the end of August. Everyone is different, and after the initial sadness, which was horrendous, I felt strongly that I wanted us to carry on as soon as possible as I feel like time is running out. Now that I am back on the 2ww again I feel positive about it.
Take care and best of luck once you decide to carry on x


----------



## annie.moon (Sep 16, 2012)

I recently had a bfn after my first ivf cycle. My immediate instinct was to go for the fet with my one frozen embryo as soon as possible. I was desperate fir my consultant to say we should try again with my next cycle. But a week later I am emotionally and physically exhausted. Although I want to get pregnant as soon as I possibly can, I've decided follow my consultant's advice and am going to wait two months to let my body, heart and mind feel stronger again.


----------

