# Thinking of starting a surrogacy journey



## Bethliz (Mar 20, 2010)

Hi

After 2 failed attempts at IVF my DH and I are considering our options.  We have been told that a 3rd shot at IVF only hold out a slim chance of success.  We are therefore doubtful that we want to go through this and are now looking at other options.  The 2 options we feel we have are adoption abroad or surrogacy.  We live in Scotland and would love to hear from anyone who has already undertaken or is curruntly undertaking this journey for help and advice.  Great to hear from anyone living in other parts of the UK too and I'm sure  most of the journey is identical, only minor differences in the law will be the only thing that makes any part of the experience different.

Looking forward to hearing from you

Bethliz


----------



## nostalgicsam (Jul 1, 2005)

Hi Bethliz,

Welcome to the FF boards and surrogacy board, surrogacy is an option for you, I advise lots of reserch and there are plenty of places where you can find out more, the only difference to a 'journey' in Scotland is the PO process.

PM me if you'd like to ask me more
Sam


----------



## OD2 (Oct 1, 2007)

Hi,

Sorry you've been having such a difficult time.  I understand how disappointing it must be to give up your expectation of carrying our child yourself. Give yourself a bit of time to heal and get over that if you can.

In terms of investigating surrogacy, the best thing to do is what you've started here - get yourself "out there" on all the online surrogacy communities.  This is one, the two big organisations with online message boards are COTS and Surrogacy UK and there are various smaller ones too - the only one I can think of at the mo is Rainbow Surrogacy but I'm sure others will chip in with other forums.  

Surrogacy does work - I've got a little girl who's expecting a baby brother/sister for her second birthday present this year (don't know if she's gonna like it at first!!) and it's all thanks to our surrogate and her family.  We've all become close friends - more like family really - through the process and it's really enriched our lives even beyond the fact that we've become a family because we now have them in our lives.

Be prepared for it to take a while - sometimes people meet their surrogate straight away and sometimes it takes a long time.  Some people don't ever meet a surrogate (though that's the exception in my experience, as long as couple are active) and some find that treatment/insems doesn't work.  So there are no guarantees, but it has worked for many many people.  

Surrogacy UK have social events you can go to as a non-member to meet people informally and chat - we do one or two a year north of the border and you'd be very welcome.  If you join up on the message boards, you can find out dates.  I'm not sure what COTS or the other organisations do in Scotland, but hopefully someone will post from there and let you know.

Anyway, really good luck with the next steps

xxx


----------



## Bethliz (Mar 20, 2010)

Hi 

Thank you so much for your reply and all the very helpful advice included in it.  SOrry it has taken so long for me to reply, have just found your post.  Have been back at work this week after 6 week break (School Teacher) and been unbelievably busy!!  Having given surrogacy some thought and consideration and been reading a little on FF I think it is more likely that DH and I will go down the adoption route.  I am adopted myself so it just feels natural and the right path for us.  Just worried about how difficult it is going to be waiting for 3 years for this to happen, but know I'll have to find the strength from somewhere.  

I sohope everything goes well for you later on in the year with the birth of your 2nd child.  Your story is heartwarming and fills me with hope.

Take care
bethliz


----------



## Every cloud.... (Mar 29, 2010)

Hi Bethliz

Sorry if you've considered this option and decided against it but have you looked at donor egg IVF abroad?

Best wishes


----------

