# The Green HFEA Form!!!



## loubi (Mar 27, 2009)

I have just started my ttc route. I am single and will be using donor sperm and feel that as I am using someones donation I would like to donate myself. I have been to several clinics and chosen one been to a couple of appointments and yesterday was sent home with a green HFEA form to complete and to take back with me on the next appointment. 

I am having a difficulty in filling it out and need some help!!

One box states : You may wish to write a goodwill message to be shown to anyone born as a result of your donation 

And the other is

Imagine yourself as a donor conceived person and think what information you might want to know about your donor...this can be given to the parents of the conceived person & the donor conceived person. 

These to me are to huge questions! I am really struggling to even think about what to write. I don't want to miss something important and at the same time don't want it to be too serious!!

Anyone else in the same position??

Thanks
Lou


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

Lou, check out the following thread on the egg share board - someone has just asked a very similar question and been directed to useful threads.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=196234.0

Good luck!

A-Mx


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## loubi (Mar 27, 2009)

Many thanks......they are helpful. Think I just want to write the right thing.

Ta
Lou


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

Lou, I'm sure you will write something amazing.    When I was matched with my last (and first!) donor, she did a great job of writing about herself, her motivations for donating, her qualities, interests, brief educational and work background, and a little about her family.  You said you didn't want your responses to be too serious - fabulous - let your sense of humour shine through!  With respect to the goodwill message, it would be great to know that any donor would be wanting the resultant offspring to know that she wished them a long, happy and healthy life full of love and that she was very pleased to have been able to help the child's parent(s) create the family they had yearned for - no small gift on any count.  

I should add that I already have a son using anonymous donor sperm, so have very limited information to pass on to him.  At this point in time (he's 3), the thing I would really find useful relates to medical history.  My son has eczema, not something from our family, and I wonder about things like eyesight - i.e. did our donor wear glasses / lenses - so that I pay special attention to such needs going forward.  Also, whether or not there is a history of heart disease / diabetes / thyroid complications in the family - again, so that I could keep an eye out for him.  

Not sure that adds anything to what you've read on the other threads - but hope it helps.  Good luck with filling the form out - no easy task.   

A-Mx


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## loubi (Mar 27, 2009)

Wow thank you for your help. Hearing what you found nice from your donor is just great. I think I need to just sit and do it and not worry! I certainly have put loads of thought in to it. Just don't want to regret anything and have that 'wish I had included...' feeling.

You have certainly pointed me in the right direction...especially like medical history etc... I may not have included that. 

So when as a recipeant did you look at the form. Is it something you get given or did you have to apply for it?

Thanks for your help again!!
Lou


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

Lou, I had large parts of it summarised over the phone.  I think once any baby conceived through donor gametes is born, the whole caboodle is provided to the parent(s), but perhaps someone with more experience on this can come forward and confirm this is what actually happens.  Unfortunately I wasn't lucky enough to conceive last time around  .  It makes sense not to provide recipients anything in writing before that time, since, as in my case, the donation may not result in a pregnancy.  I just wish I had something of this nature for my son as I am sure he will have an understandable curiosity about his biological heritage through the male donor.  Come to think of it, that's another thing that might be of interest to any offspring - whether the donor is, say, Welsh, but his / her parents immigrated from Germany, for example. 

Good luck!   

A-Mx


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