# Please help feeling really anxious about number of embryos transferred



## snoopydoop (Jan 29, 2010)

Hi hope someone can help me feel less anxious!

I had 2 embryo's transferred last week (FET).  Day 3 transfer, 8 cells each.  
All through the treatment I was only going to have 1 put back but then the embryologist said there were 2 embryos that looked good and the remaining 3 hadn't done enough so she recommended I had 2 put back.  I felt under pressure then to do this.  She said this gave best change of pregnancy but it was only a tiny risk of multiples which I don't want.  
I've since been so anxious about having twins then I read on here that some ladies have 2 embryos put back and still get triplets.  Now I'm seriously worried!!  I keep getting very upset and feeling that I did the wrong thing  and haven't been able to sleep.  I couldn't cope with multiples and look after my little girl who i just 2.  Please help!  I feel like I'm loosing my mind! 

My history - I'm 37, was 34 when eggs were frozen.
1st IVF BFN
2nd IVF BFN  (FET)  Gorgeous little girl
3rd IVF BFP!!  Now used embryo's from this cycle.


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## JAYNA (Feb 3, 2008)

Hi Snoopydoop,
I have no experience about worrying about twins, I'd be more than happy but I understand how scary it must be when you already have a two year old. All I can say is please don't worry until your scan, there is nothing you can do now... But I do know that no matter what the outcome, you will cope because thats what we do isn't it, we cope! x  All your worrying is going to do is loose you sleep and you can't think straight when your tired, undergoing IVF and raising a 2 year old, all at the same time.
I have gone through a tough time recently and I know it's easy for me to say but please don't put any more stress on yourself than you need to. You can face the worry if it happens, until then...just be. x


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## snoopydoop (Jan 29, 2010)

Jayna - thanks for your comforting reply.  I just feel so stressed!! I keep looking at my gorgeous little girl that my husband and I appreciate every single day and I worry that under pressure at ET time I did the wrong thing for us.  My DH thinks it's hilarious that I am stressed about multiples when the most likely scenario is a BFN!

You've had such a lot of treatment, you must have had some rough times. I wish you all the best. 

Rx


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## JAYNA (Feb 3, 2008)

Hi Hun,
I have had a lot of treatment and we are coming to the end now, financially and emotionally. I haven't coped very well this time round BUT, this isn't about me it's about you. Once you have had some sleep and read this all back you might see it differently. Sometimes I read every page I can on here and I drive myself insane with worry and panic. I actually worried when I had 3 embryo's transfered. I was scared because I don't know many people where I live and my Mum died not long ago...I would dream of sitting 3 babies all in a row trying to feed them...I'd wake up in a cold sweat and pray it was a premonition! I still couldn't imagine how I would cope, but I would and so will you... I promise, you'll cope no matter what. 
Have you ever listened to Zita Wests relaxation CD. I love it to bits, I can cope with anything after I've listened to it. It calms me down and centralises my mind. If not just try to relax listening to some gentle music. It won't take away the fact that you may have twins but your mind will be able to cope with your thoughts better!  
Take care and I'm on the computer most days if you need someone to talk to  x


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## Jo82 (Jan 26, 2010)

I think there is usually a reduced chance of sucess with fet hence they thought it would be best to transfer 2. 

For me 2 would be better than none but obviously your circumstances are different. Good luck
anyway and you will cope whatever the outcome.


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## cutelittlepumpkin (Nov 1, 2007)

I just wanted to say Twins really aren't that bad! The first 4 months, were hardwork but they are a dream now, it amazing watching their special little bond!!    Really you will cope if it happens, no point worrying now hun its done, so you may as well relax and enjoy being PUPO and worry about the rest later!     And you are already a Mummy so you are an expert, so *IF* you get twinnies they will be very lucky!! 

CLP


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## snoopydoop (Jan 29, 2010)

Thank you all.  I think I just feel so emotional at the moment that I can't think straight.  Added to which my little girl who is only just 2 seems to know that something is wrong.  She's usually really confident but at the moment it's all "I need my mummy!"  Whilst that's the nicest thing I could hear, and waited many years to hear, I've been worried about the effect that 2 siblings could have on her because she has been totally the centre of our lives.  As you all say I would cope, and so would she.  My husband is firmly of the belief that 2 babies are better than no baby (he's a twin).  I know he's right, I don't want a BFP next Tuesday.  As he pointed out I'm a control freak and that's one of the things that makes the uncertainty of ttc so hard.
Thanks for you support, reading the replies really helped me.  I'm going to feed the ducks, jump in muddy puddles with my little girl then have a picnic(her three very favourite things to do!) and have a more positive day.
CLP - your twins look so cute, good luck to you with ttc no3
Jo82 - you and dh are right, 2 better than none
Jayna - your dream of having 3 in a row and trying to feed them all sounds familiar.  I will try to relax today.  Slept better last night so that helps already
Thank you, Rx


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## DanniB (Mar 13, 2005)

HI, 
Thought I'd reply as our situations are so similiar!  I too have a 2 yr old daughter (who I waited 6 yrs for and is the light of our lives) and am waiting to test on Monday after FET last week.  Before transfer I had a huge panic about having two embryos put back, was tearful, couldn't concentrate and could only think about how I would cope.  On our first fresh successful cycle I was more than happy to have 2 put back, a bit all or nothing but this time I just couldn't see the wood for the trees.  The suggestion at our clinic was to have 2 put back but we orignally put conservative thaw on our form and left the decision right up until the day of transfer.  Each day I was thinking "2 no 1 no 2 no 1  no 2 " etc and driving myself mad.  Our embryos were frozen when i was 34 and I am due to turn 37 at the weekend!

The turning point came when our first embryo (thawed d before t) survived the night but didn't progress.  I was just heartbroken and we were given the choice of thawing our remaining two or one.  I couldn't bear the thought of another one dying so I asked for them both to be defrosted.  When they both survived, I was ecstatic!  My babies made it! It just made me think of course I want you both transferred!  Our chances are 18% with both or 12% if one put back.  OUr chances are slim but possible.  Before we left for transfer I looked at my daughter who was not happy that Mummy was disappearing again (several appts!) that I just thought I don't want to live with regrets that I didn't do my utmost to try to give her one or two siblings. My daughters friends have siblings and she doesn't -and sometimes she cries when her cousins or friends go home!  So when I had two transferred last Tuesday, I just thought what will be will be - whatever, we'll cope.

The problem is this 2WW drives us MAD!!!! It's like an emotional roller coaster.  One day I'm convincing myself it's worked and the next I'm preparing myself for the fact that regardless of how many embryos have put back, our chances are not great.  I remind myself that when I held my daughter in my arms for the first time it was amazing and if it's two then the feeling can only be doubled.

Feel pleased you've given yourself the best possible chance for you and your family.  If you were able to have children without IVF then you may well have had twins anyway.  Think positively.  xxxxxx


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## snoopydoop (Jan 29, 2010)

Hi DannyB
Thanks for your reply - you're right, we're in almost the same situation.  And here was me thinking it was just me!!  Really nice to hear from others who understand.  Somehow I am feeling better about it all at the moment hope that lasts!.  Have found it helpful reading things on here and also had a long chat with one of the counsellors at my hosp (Liverpool Womens).  I think for me a lot of the stress was because I thought I could only have 1 put back, then at very last minute it was 2.  That upset me cos I am a control freak who can't cope with plans being changed!  As you say it's a complete emotional rollercoaster.  Strangely this time I haven't considered it failing, only wondered whether it will be 1 or 2 babies!!  That's been my focus even though I know about the heartache of it failing because DD was conceived on my 3rd attempt.  You are so right that having 2 put back has given us the best chance for our families.  DH keeps reminding me that 2 is better than none (he is a twin!).
What day transfer did you have?  I had 3 other embryos as well but they were 2, 3 and 5 cell all fragmented and poor quality.
Good luck for your test on Monday, Mine is Tues but will prob test Mon night cos that's what I did with dd!  Rxxxxxx


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## DanniB (Mar 13, 2005)

Hi -
I had transfer last tuesday with a four cell and a five cell.  These are my last two frosties so couldn't go to blastcyst.  With DD I also had 4 and a 5 cell put back so fell okay about it.  I am having blood test on Monday am and have to wait until after 2pm for the results so might do a early response test when I get back! Had to arrange the day off work again as our clinic is 50 mins away.  Don't quite understand why I test Monday as if it was the same as fresh cycle I would be testing on tuesday! Dx


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## ✩ Annasupastar ✩ (Apr 19, 2008)

Just quickly..I had my 1st IVF & had two embryos trans on day two & got a singleton preg with my daughter..I was Just 29 when I had it...My bloods were reading like I was having twin & we rally thought we were but no...Just 1 gorgeous perfect baby on the 1st scan(well a sack with a flicker in!!) you just dont know until you got for your 6 week scan...Im sure either way you will be fine hun.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## snoopydoop (Jan 29, 2010)

Just tested and got BFN   

Feeling so sad but at least I now know that putting 2 back was right because I gave myself the best chance


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## ✩ Annasupastar ✩ (Apr 19, 2008)

Snoopydog...So sorry hun


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## cutelittlepumpkin (Nov 1, 2007)

Snoop!

CLP


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