# Do any of you start to feel like it really is never going to happen ?



## bell26 (Apr 28, 2007)

Hiya, 
I haven't logged on to ff for a while, just needed a rest from it all following our 3rd m/c earlier this year..
Went to see my friend yesterday and her little miracle, she is 42 and has just had her little boy on her 7th attempt... Own eggs too !! He really is a miracle.
Although I am positively over the moon for her I can't help but feel left behind, I am the only one in my group of girls who have struggled with the heartbreak of infertility who hasn't had a baby.. I have had more pregnancies than everyone else and I'm the youngest and respond to treatment really well... I am just all out of answers, facing Christmas knowing unrealistically I should have three babies with me and I have none... Never have I felt so empty and useless.. I'm not sure where to go from here, I feel all alone now  any one in the same boat or want to give me a virtual hug please do, god knows I need it.. 
Bell xxx


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## karenanna (Dec 27, 2008)

Bell

First of all I just want to send you lots of    - it is truly heart breaking and Christmas is such a difficult time. This time last year I was feeling just like you - I also responded well to treatment, but never got that elusive BFP - one year on and things are completely different.... I got there on my 5th attempt after changing clinics.

I wondered if you had looked into treatment for recurrent miscarriage - I have attached some links that might be worth looking into:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=80433.0

http://www.epsom-sthelier.nhs.uk/news/news-archive/2010/february-2010/miracle-baby-arrives-after-18-miscarriages/

I was treated for immune issues in the end - I had steroids, clexane, baby aspirin and IVIG. I moved clinics to the ARGC in London and then was treated throughout my pregnancy at Epsom hospital - the lady in the article was also there.

Sending you another  and lots of  for the New Year

Karenanna xxx

/links


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## Ali7 (Dec 2, 2010)

Hi Bell

Think i feel the same as you.  Think Christmas time is making it harder.  Hate that as well as really love Christmas time and just feel so low this year.  My cousin has just had a baby and although really happy for her just feel so jealous and then feel angry at myself for that!!! Have had one ivf cycle with 3 FET which were all negative. Although never got pregnant was so expecting to be going through Christmmas happily pregnant!!! Considering changing clinics so have an appointment at new clinic tomo. so more tests!!! really hoping next year is the year!!!!!Have decided to give myself to new years day to feel crappy and from that day on I need to start positively!!!Have started reading a book  called Excuse me your life is waiting.  All about positive thinking and sending out good vibrations which if you knew me is just totally not me but all else has failed so why not!!!! Hope this has helped a bit 

Good luck for 2011. It will be our year!!!!

Alison x x x


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## Spangle122 (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi Bell

I do not know if you will remember but I am sure we have spoken in the past after previous failed cycles.

I hope you do not mind me replying but I just wanted to give you a massive hug    . 

Please do not give up hope, I remember your feelings all too well after five years and 4 failed cycles, two ectopics, one chemical pg we are finally parents to two beautiful baby girls, I NEVER thought it would be me so please have hope, I know this is hard right now especially with Christmas it is all the more difficult.

I do not often come on here but strangley coming up to Christmas I can easliy recall those feeling that you get every year and the sadness that it brings, I just hope and pray that you can get some comfort that it can happen and when you least expect it.

I hope it gives you some hope and I pray 2011 will bring you what you wish for.

Thinking of you and all the ladies out there still waiting.

Spangle xxx


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## jenny80 (Apr 8, 2009)

Sending you big hug!

I am struggling more this xmas than ever since Zak wasstillborn on the 3rd Dec.

I really feel that life can be so cruel but am not willing to give up hence the IVF again in Jan . I may never achieve my dream but i will not stop trying as there is still time for us all.

I read once, once you have lost everything you are free to do anything. I am now free. In 2011 I plan to life my life as is but still try and achieve my dream.

I truely understand the feeling of loss hun, we all do here on FF,

if you need anything PM me.

xx


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## ThisTime (Jun 24, 2007)

Hi Bell, this to you and all of you on the journey to your dream      
It took me 11 years. I still know well the feelings on the way.
After every failed attempt or setback I used to think like this "I can turn one way or the other, one way goes down and down and the other takes me forward and more positive", each time from the day I made the 'turn' I picked myself up and really assertively applied myself to getting what I'd always wanted.
We're all here for you Bell.
H xx


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