# Ever Feel Like Giving Up?



## Kath.Stawell1990 (May 25, 2012)

Hey everyone...

I feel like my husband and I have been trying forever for a baby, it has only been a year and a half, but in that time almost all of our close friends have started a family and it just feels kind of soul destroying... 

I started clomid last month, I'm meant to test on Sunday, but the wait was driving me insane so I tested today (Thursday) I obviously got a BFN 
I just feel like I'm losing hope, I really don't think I am pregnant anyway, and for some reason I just have this feeling that I never will be...

Some of my friends think I should go to the doctors as they think I have depression, they are probably right, I don't enjoy doing the things I used to at the moment it feels like I am just going through the motions in life.... Getting up everyday, going to work, coming home, going to bed, I rarely feel happy like I used to.... Sometimes I think it would be better for me if I just gave up so I could come to terms with things....


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## NatalieP (Mar 5, 2011)

Hey Kath

Let me first start by giving you a virtual hug  

IF can overtake you life it can take the light out of it and it hurts so much to know what you desperately want you might never have but you can't let it take over if that's what you feel like you need to take a break go on holiday take a break from trying. Your 21 time is not going to run out. If you feel as though that is not possible then make sure you take a break next month to breathe. 

You tested early so don't lose hope as that test could have given a wrong reading it could be too early and if it's still bfn then take a breathe and think ok that one didn't work let's go treat myself to something. 

I really think you need some time out and to take a break from trying. Have you spoken to your consultant about how you feel?

Sometimes I think I will never be pregnant too but I try to stay away from them thoughts and think no stay positive. It's natural to be frightened about it not working.

Take care 

Nat xxx


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## Dixie chick (Sep 6, 2010)

Hi Kath,

I think most people on here have had, or will have, these types of thoughts at one time or another. Some battle on with TTC, and some do indeed decide to move on in other ways, either by adopting or fostering, or by deciding to move on without children.

I have been 'waiting' for a child for about 5 years now, and stupidly I have put my life on hold over that time, always thinking I would be pregnant soon. (Not moving jobs, starting hobbies, planning big holidays etc). I realised recently that this was part of the reason I am unhappy, and I have vowed to stop living for my 'future life', (going through the motions as you say) and start living for the one that's slipping by. I have even wondered if I would be happier without this albatross around my neck.  

TTC is very stressful, and if you think it's affecting your health then you should try to make changes to ease the situation. You are still young so you could afford to take a break and think through your situation. If you start to try again you would come back to TTC refreshed and with plenty of time, and if you decide that's not what you want anymore then you will have done so with a clear head.
Also, if you think you have depression then you should see your doctor, and explain where your depression has stemmed from. He might be able to recommend sessions with a counsellor from a fertility unit who will be familiar with the emotions you are experiencing.

Big hugs,  
Dx


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## Kath.Stawell1990 (May 25, 2012)

Thank you so much for your lovely replies  You have both given me a bit of hope...

I am exactly the same I have completely put my life on hold the past year and a half... I have missed 2 holidays because I thought I might be pregnant by then, I missed going to the west end, having my 21st Birthday party.... I didn't even realise it until I read your reply... 

I have finally decided I am not going to put my life on hold anymore, if it happens for me in the mean time that's brilliant, but if it doesn't at least I will be having a good time.... My husband and I got married on a budget wedding. We have always said that I will have my dream wedding one day with a big dress, horse and carriages and a amazing venue, but we always put it off, so I just booked my dream wedding  I'm also throwing a 21st party for myself (late I know, but I missed it so I'm making up for it) and I'm going to book a holiday next year  No more putting things on hold!

Thank you so much for your post  You have helped me so much xxx


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## NatalieP (Mar 5, 2011)

Hey Kath

Well done you! A dream wedding sounds amazing and it sounds like you have the right attitude the more you focus the more stressed your getting which isn't good for you. 

You will be fine, what is going to happen is going to happen and all you can do is live life.



xxx


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## Nosilab (Jun 29, 2011)

Hi Kath

I was so sad to read your first post, but then read on and was very happy to read your reply to NatalieP and Dixie.  Fab news that you've booked your dream wedding, that's really exciting!   and I really hope you have an amazing (belated but well deserved) 21st birthday party   

Good luck with everything and hope everything works out well for you   xx


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## Dixie chick (Sep 6, 2010)

Kath, I'm so pleased you are feeling more positive, and what great things you have to look forward to :-D When is the big day?


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