# How do you decide what to keep "just in case......" and how to answer akward q's



## Ro1 (Jul 8, 2009)

Hi there,  just wondering if anyone else is having "the how much of my darling LO's toys, clothes etc to pack away to keep".  She is growing up so fast and out of things.  I have been able to give away/let go to charity some of the "normal" staff and gifts I don't like, but I am beginning to realise that I am hoarding things that just seem too cute to give away (just in case we get lucky again).  

Money is a bit tight with DP being made redundant last year, so we won't be paying for any treatment, but still hoping that another one comes along naturally someday.  However as DD gets older and the doting Aunt's, Uncles and Grandparents give us more and more things, space is becoming a bit of an issue.  Should I "man up" and get rid or just fill the loft with baby/toddler girl things...  

I wonder if I don't get rid of most of the things now whether one day in the next few years I'm just storing up a whole heap of emotional baggage when I have to come to deal with it should we be disapointed.  DP says I can keep anything that is to hard to give away, but there are quite alot of small shoes and pretty dresses building up now, along with some unisex basics too...  (It does feel somewhat ridiculous as we may not have another girl even if we do manage to get PG).  Oh the joys of fertility issues .....  We never got an explanation of why we had so much trouble conceiving, age I guess we are no spring chickens then or now....  Been trying again for 6 months or so, so it is early days, but m y attachment to DD's gorgeous things is in part due to how much loved and wanted she was, but I know in the back of my mind it's in part that our family may not be complete just yet. 

I seriously do not want to go back into that place of absolute darkness and desperation by hoping too much for No 2, as I am thankful everyday of our blessing that we were able to have out LO.  It does not help that people keep on and on about "time for another...".  Even today in the supermarket, we bumped into a work colleague I don't know that well and she said to my LO, "time for a brother or sister isn't it?" What do you say to that??   It's OK now as she hasn't the faintest idea what they are talking about, (despite being baby obsessed and trying to cuddle every single baby she sees!) but soon she will get it and then what do I say? (I say I as I know damm fine it will be me doing the explaining as DP will dodge it or give some BS answer that doesn't really explain anything..  OMG why do people think it's OK to ask about this?

I thought I would post on here, maybe just to get my head a bit clearer, and also to see if anyone else has a similar dilemna/s....  
Thanks for listening Ro


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

my take on this is keep everything, but, box or bag up in sealed, categorized and carefully labelled bags. Plan it so that you can look again in 6 months, 1 year, whenever, and easily see which boxes can be given away, without having to open them. That way it won't be an emotional thing. Put the very best favourite items away carefully of course, but just stuff that really matters. As long as your labelling is good, you'll always be able to find something again if you change your mind about it. If you store everything mixed up you're just creating a huge problem for later on. x


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## Ro1 (Jul 8, 2009)

Dear Goldbunny - brilliant advice - I really didn't want to be storing up 'trouble' for myself later on....  Been there and done it before without even realising sometimes, and that nagging unease was starting to bother me.  I just knew someone would have a great idea about how to deal withal this lovely stuff.  Thanks for getting back, ta very much Ro


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## Twopence (Dec 14, 2008)

Hi Ro

I totally get where you are coming from. I have saved everything!! We are just in the process of moving so maybe now would be a good time to get rid of alot of DD's things. However, everything has some memory or other and I just don't want to say goodbye.

Knowing it is so likely that we wont have another just seems to make it all the more hard!! I cant say goodbye to titchy babygro's in case they are never replaced. I can't say goodbye to teething toys and rattles for the same reason. I even keep stuff that is stained as it is so hard. 

As for answering awkward questions!!!! People can seem so rude. At work i keep getting ''new house? so it will be a new baby then next?'' If only life were that simple. And if people that know about out IF tell me to relax one more time I swear i will....   

Good luck to you, I hope you get some resolution and can sort out everything as you see fit. And good luck with no 2!!

xx


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

i have a suggestion for a babygrow you can't part with, perhaps have it made into a teddy bear, or dress a bear in it, for little one to play with? 
i'm thinking of that because there's a company in shetland that make old jumpers into bears, well you could apply a similar approach to baby clothes... 
http://www.burrabears.co.uk/bears.html

/links


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## KG (Jan 13, 2007)

I kept everything. As gold bunny suggested, it was all bagged up and labelled with in age groups. I've recently been unbagging it as we are fortunate enough to be able to use it a second time around and, while there are some things I have uncovered that I feel sentimental about, the vast majority of it I can't remember ds wearing! That was a big surprise to me, but makes it easier in the long run.

Funnily enough, someone showed me a pic yesterday of a bear they have had made out of their LOs babygros - it's v cute and I googled it and found there are few places online you can get this done.

Kx


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## ~ Chux ~ (Apr 8, 2003)

Well I have been very, very lucky to have four miracles but I still can't get rid of stuff. I have everything bagged according to age and gender but it's then stuffed in the attic cos I just can't bring myself to get rid of it. Even my maternity clothes have been shoved under dd's bed - out of sight is out of mind. 

Dh makes the occasional comment about how we can clear out now but I'm a hoarder. I'm sure one day I will be able to let it go but, for now, I'm just not ready. I've told dh it'll be my mission to clear the attic once all my LO's have started school which buys me another three years. 

AFAIC, as long as there is a slight chance we may have another then I can't get rid of stuff. I figure by the time they are all at school I will be menopausal and have accepted that's it so will be ready to clear out then.

Chux xx


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## Twopence (Dec 14, 2008)

Thanks Goldbunny - that sounds like a fab idea.

Next mission for you - we are moving house soon and I am gutted to be leaving DD's bedroom behind!! So much so that I cant face someone else re-decorating so i have told DH we are doing it before we go as I couldnt bear someone else viciosuly removing the wallpaper   Any idea's   

xx


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

but they might love it! i wouldn't sell my house to just anyone, i'd have to make sure it was someone nice. If it is someone nice, you won't mind what they do with it. Take lots of pictures to remember it by, including close-ups of texture, shape and colour. if i loved a room i wouldn't redecorate it just so someone else wouldn't.


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## Ro1 (Jul 8, 2009)

This site is so reasurring - it helped so much before I had DD and now I really feel like there are other people who understand the emotional bond I have with her stuff!    I can cheerfully keep going with putting things away with some great ideas about how not to make it painful later on....  

Goldbunny - I do like the idea of the special bear made from special things, just not sure if I can cope with them being cut up - now isnt that just    

Shrimper - I too can relate to the place you created for the LO just wanting it to be kept the same forever, I sometimes feel I would like to stop time or slow it down anyway to keep this feeling of being so happy and content with life just as it is, but that new word she says or thing she does makes me want to see what's around the next corner too...

Ro


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## Twopence (Dec 14, 2008)

Hi Goldbunny - I already know the house is being sold to a dad who is buying it for his three grown up children so the chances of them wanting a Winnie the Pooh mural are slim   We did turn down an offer from one woman who was going to buy it to rent it out as that just wasn't right and didnt sit well with me. The children seem lovely though (mid 20's probably) and the Dad is a lovely man, they are clearly very close so at least that is OK.

I will deffo take up your idea of pictures. I can tell myself they arent for me, they are for DD to see when she is older   

Ro - so withyou onthe stopping time thing. I have thought that since day 1 but every day brings something new and lovely, I jusy wish I could bottle it all up to keep forever. She is so funny at the moment. Her Daddy always says to her '' could you be any prettier?'' and today at breakfast she just said ''My couldn't be any prettier mummy'' It was so funny. She also said Mummy was pretty so she gets points for that   

I have decided that I might get a big picture frame (I am talking huge) and put some stuff in that as a sort of mural type thing such as baby gro's, socks etc. That might be nice.....

Love to all xx


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

yeah it will give you something to point at when her prom date is waiting for her to get her coat on...


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## AJM30 (Sep 3, 2007)

I kept everything (and i mean everything   ) and was supposed to start car booting last summer but just couldnt bring myself to do it. I have boys and girls stuff boxed/bagged up. We are blessed that we are able to use dd stuff again soon but i know i am going to find it hard to get rid of the boys things. One thing i have thought of doing though is keeping some of the really small and special things (some to pass to dd for her little ones one day) and some for her to use for her dollys. dolls clothes are so expensive and alot of her 1st stuff is just as little. Ive also opened a seperate bank account and anything i make from the sale of their things is going towards getting them something they can use as they get older (playhouse for garden is top of the list) so its not as if they dont benefit. 
Its so tough. im hoping when it comes time in summer 2013 to car boot the girls stuff i will feel that my family is complete and that will help   
Ali x


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## KG (Jan 13, 2007)

Oh, a thought - I went to someone's house where they had made a piece of art out of their LOs first few pairs of shoes. Basically attached them to a nice piece of varnished wood, from tiniest pair to first wellies, and hung it on the wall.

Kx


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## Twopence (Dec 14, 2008)

Goldbunny - PROMDATE??!!!!!!!!!   No chance    She isnt allowed to date until she is 35!!

On that 'embarassing' note, we went out today and DD insisted on wearing her fairy outfit, wellies and sunglasses (over the outfit I had already put her in). That is definately coming out on the 18th birthday!!

xx


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