# 40 and confused..



## rosie71 (Jun 19, 2011)

Hi, Couldn't think of what to put as the subject so put that, I've had one try at IVF which failed, nothing was happening even with the strongest amount they could give me. My sister had said if I ever needed it she would donate. We have now talked about it and she is going to have a blood test soon to see if she's still ok etc( she had IVF and had a baby last year) As with my go at IVF with have only got until she is 35 in June( I had only one chance on the NHS before my 40th in December) Does anyone know if they might give us longer as she's known to me, I really hope so... We are going back to the same hospital where we both had IVF, I'm worrying should I try somewhere else etc, but I just don't understand the stastics they show for the different clincs, and surely it all depends on your situation? Did anyone else feel that they were in a rush when you went, most of the nurses where nice but I just felt like they just did the tests etc and then you had to go. Do they act different when you go private? I'm so grateful I might get another chance at this but some things are really bugging me, like would they have known before I had the treatment what chance I would have of it working, also if we go private do they tell you before, the total cost or do you have to pay as you go along? Infact as I put I'm confused, I think it just so overpowering sometimes, and I worry about messing this up because I don't have enough information. Like I read in the paper they say that you would be better with 2 eggs being put in not 1. Can I have that if I want?  Sorry if this doesn't make any sense and I sound like I'm going on but I feel alone sometimes. Is there anyone here going through the same thing? or knows more than I do? Thanks for reading this.


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## Lil Elvis (Dec 31, 2009)

Rosie,

I can hear your panic - take a deep, deep breath honey!

An egg donor has to be under 36 (before their 36th birthday) so you have lots of time to think this through and speak to your consultant. If it is a known donor this can even be pushed beyond this date.

I am trying to sort out bedtime, dinner, godson and a tired DH but will try to come back later.

I know it's tough, but hang in there because there is a way through and you WILL get there in the end.

Caroline xxx


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## rosie71 (Jun 19, 2011)

Thankyou very much for your reply Caroline. Don't worry if your busy at the moment, it was just nice of you to take the time to put something. I do need to take a few deep breaths, I'm ok until I start thinking too much of things. It just sometimes feels like its all whirling round my head.  Thanks again for your reply x


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## Chandlerino (Nov 30, 2011)

I can't answer your question about donors but......

when you are going private you pay up front for your cycle. My advice is to talk through all your concerns with a clinic as you could be stressing about things that may not need to be stressed about.

Have you been told you definately need a donor? Remember statistics are a guide only and everyone has their individual fertility issues. Did you have a follow up appointment as changes to your treatment could have been discussed - maybe the drugs/protocol weren't right for you? There are many ladies over 40 who have had successsful cycles with their own eggs and even the undr 40s don't have a first successful cycle.

as for how may you have put back - the HF wotsit authority [HFEA?] guidelines are 3 for someone over 40. However my clinic advises just having 2 put back.


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## rosie71 (Jun 19, 2011)

Hi Chandlerino, thanks for your reply. Yes I have got to have a donor, there is very little chance of using mine. I'm waiting for results at the moment to see if I can use my sisters eggs, which I would rather use if I can.


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