# Self Esteem



## Let (Jan 27, 2008)

Just thinking that we all at one time or another seem to have low self esteem issues after treatment. I know that for me carrying extra weight has has taken its toll. It now less of a muffin top and more of a whole victoria sandwich for me ! I have decided that enough is enough and the flab has to go. My plan is to start running again and although its always going to happen tomorrow I am very determined. Perhaps we could share ideas on how to improve our self esteem. One thought if there are any other budding runners that perhaps we could sign up for a 5K run/walk somewhere in the middle of the UK and we could run to celebrate our achievements in getting through these very difficult times.


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## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

That's a lovely idea Let and there's a chance I'd be up for it, although not sure if running agrees with me (didn't used to but that was before I discovered I had a thyroid issue!)  If we find some more people I'd certainly like to try!

You're right - self-esteem is a really big issue.  I guess it is for everyone, but it's just such a raw feeling.  And my mother, bless her, doesn't always help (she doesn't mean to, but I really don't want to discuss my weight with her!! it makes me feel like 'what I look like' is the only important thing about me, and surely there's got to be more to it than that!)

Jx


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

My running days are over sadly ladies, as I'm waiting for a knee replacement at the ripe old age of 40  

Good on you though, I hope that you can organise something, it would be one hell of an achievement. As for the weight gain... tell me about it!  

Love
Emcee x


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## muppett (Jan 31, 2008)

Its funny you should mention running, because I've just signed up for a 5k in my local town. I was always rubbish running at school but I am enjoying the little bit of training I do and find its lifting my mood a bit. I currently am still feeling the effects of pulling out of the adoption process and still fret if I have done right thing. These decisions are so important and no-one can make them for you. I've burnt my bridges, just waiting for the pain to get easier.I am getting great comfort from reading all everyone's posts and I salut everyone who has the courage to share their feelings. Just have to tell the social worker we are pulling out as she gave us some breathing space the last few months to decide what we wanted to do. I don't feel I want to see her at all it will be so hard. Anyway its time to open the wine see you later.


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## flipper (Jul 7, 2004)

As an aging 41 (but 21 inside) do you think I'm too old to take up a bit of running? I'm reasonably fit walking around 25-30 miles a week but that's about all I do.

What do you think?

You're right about self esteem, it takes a terrible kicking through this process.

Hope you enjoyed the vino Muppett, don't think of it as having burnt one's bridge, think of it as having crystallised what you want from the rest of your life.


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## foxylady73 (May 11, 2008)

Hi all

I have just started running in the last few weeks.  It's taken me a while to find the motivation, mainly because I was so embarrassed at the thought of anyone seeing me hauling my lardy butt round the streets.  Then I realised that is part of the problem and I need to bite the bullet or be stuck in this rut forever.

I found a book called Running Made Easy which has really helped, they give you a ten week plan to do a 5k run.  So for the first week you walk for 3 minutes then run for 1 and repeat several times.  You then cut back on the amount of walking time over the weeks.  This has really helped me to focus and although it has been hard (have generally arrvied hope purple and panting with DH asking if he should call an ambulance) I'm sure that I have lost a bit of weight but definitely have much more energy and feeling a bit more confident.  

Flipper, 41 definitely isn't too old to take up running, a colleague of mine started last year and she is 52.

Anyway, would be great if we could support each other, whether on the running or just trying to improve self esteem generally.

Foxylady x


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

I think that conquering a physical challenge is great for self esteem. I don't get on with running - but I have found a very effective and low-impact way to train. It's also free - unlike the gym. (I may have mentioned it before cos it's how I got ready for my Mont Blanc trek). What you do is get a big plastic water carrier - one that can take at least 15 litres. You fill this with about 5 litres of water to start with and put it in a rucksack - then you do a good 30 min brisk walk with it on your back (up hill if you can). You may get the occasional odd look, but you also get this when jogging. After 2 weeks you add a litre (1 litre is about 1kg) and so on, building up gradually. So by the end you are walking with 10 - 15kg weight. Stop at whatever is comfortable. You do need a properly fitted rucksack and walking boots for this. It is great for an all-over training - and as you are walking it is low impact. I may start doing this again as I have gone to seed a bit since last year.
Bernie


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## jofi (Apr 7, 2006)

My self esteem has plummeted since I started ICSI. I have gained weight which is something I think about every single day. But there is more to the self esteem issue than that,  I think it's that the realisation that my life is not going to turn out as I had expected and so much of this is outside of my control. For the last few years I've been gearing up for tx, in middle of tx or depressed that tx didn't work and facing another stretch on a waiting list. I think infertility tx has defined my thirties. It's easy to put everything on hold in case of that elusive pregnancy. 
Since leaving a job that made me miserable and starting my own business and joining a friendly ladies only gym I'm actually starting to feel more in control of my life than I have in years. As my signature would suggest I am temporarily in limbo again right now but if I get another bfn I'm going to make a priority to get the old me back. It's only recently I've realised that I don't want this to ruin my life. For years I was so devasted at the prospect of being childless I would have never been able to consider stopping tx. Now that decision had been made for us and I'm staring to get some courage, I hope that the reality of it isn't another matter.
To answer your question I think that the best thing to focus on your relationship and your wellbeing. Excerise is great, not only for dropping the lbs but for mental health. For myself I'm trying to not focus on what may be years from now but on being happy healthy and loved today. I'm going to live for the moment.


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## foxylady73 (May 11, 2008)

Hi Jofi

Just wanted to wish you luck with your 2WW  

Foxylady xx


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## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

Foxylady - I did a half marathon years ago, and I trained using that method of starting with a bit of running and a bit of walking (I think I started with 2 min run, 2 min walk) and gradually increasing the running over the walking and it was brilliant!  Good luck with it!

Jx


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## foxylady73 (May 11, 2008)

Well done for doing a half marathon, that's kind of what I am aiming for.

Have torn a ligament in my knee though which is making me a bit down in the dumps as I need to rest it until it has completely healed before I can run again  

Foxy x


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