# Same Sex Couples on NHS???



## Charlie &#039;N&#039; Bec (Sep 18, 2010)

Hi Ladies, 

I have posted a few times on here, and I have been reading all your posts! Im so nosy.... 

So I had my blood test returned all ok apart form Testosterone which is 1.9, apparently normal is between 0.? - 1.7, (I think thats what he said) 
So i am due to have a scan this Friday at 2.30, to check for the pcos, and to see that state of my ovaries ... 

Are there any Same sex couples going through IVF on the NHS?? Our doctor is going through this process to transfer me to a clinic, but needs all my 
tests back. I started IVF years ago in 2005, we got through 2 rounds of IUI, Failed... I couldnt go through anymore and left. 

Any advice would be great and any success stories would be better  

Love to you all.. 

Becki xx


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## Candy76 (Feb 19, 2011)

Hi Becky, I know of a couple of people that have briefly mentioned their child was product of NHS funding. But as most women pay for it, I feel like people who got funding don't want to make a big deal out of it. But that's just my take on it.
As far as I understand the criteria for funded treatment varies a lot from council to council. Generally speaking you need to prove that you are infertile, i.e. you had so many home inseminations or so many failed IUI's (3?). Then you mustn't smoke, have a certain BMI, and so on and so on. Sometimes followed by a long waiting list.
One thing you need to know before you miss the boat: Most councils will restrict the number of failed self funded IVF cycles you can have had before starting NHS funded treatment (1 or 2).

After all this ranting above, your best option might be to go in the general area on ff, go into your geographical area and either post a post there to ask other women about your local criteria or just read through their posts. You tend to get a good idea what is going on that way.


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## Charlie &#039;N&#039; Bec (Sep 18, 2010)

Hi Candy, 
Thank you for your post. I'm unsure as to why people will not mention this topic or speak about, but I appreciate you posting.
We have been back to our gp and as I am infertile and fit criteria and after numerous treatments and operations they are referring me for NHS treatment. I'm very lucky and I hope and wish for lots of bfp's for all.

Becki & Charlie


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## Candy76 (Feb 19, 2011)

Best of luck! As far as I am aware, if you live in England you can chose the clinic you are going to, even a clinic in Wales for instance. Whereas if you live in Wales you have to go to your assigned NHS clinic. I don't know about Scotland.

Candy


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## Charlie &#039;N&#039; Bec (Sep 18, 2010)

Thank you Candy, Had appt with DOctor this morning and its all go he wants me to research CLinics and then let him know which clinic i would like to go to. 
We are based in Essex in England  

BEcki x


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## katena (Nov 14, 2007)

Hiya Becki,

I wouldnt say that people dont talk about getting NHS cycles.... as we did... maybe people are a littlre more careful as the majority in the LGB section dont get NHS funding and heck this IVF malarky costs a bomb!!!

We had 1 free cycle on the NHS... due to me having PCOS... for this we had 5 goes at IUI as i seemed to be ovulating just fine... just on longer cycles. All were BFN.

Since then weve paid for TX - egg share (around £1600) which was also BFN and now were starting medicated FET (which ironically has cost us more than ES at £1800)

But- thank god youve got some NHS funding!! Good luck!

karen


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## lucky2010 (Jan 10, 2006)

Good luck Karen. Are you at care or MFS? X


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## Charlie &#039;N&#039; Bec (Sep 18, 2010)

Thank you Karen. 

I have been researching this and its mad... In Oct 2010 the law was passed to not discriminate same sex couples when approaching NHS for referalls if you suffer from infertility. But now we have barriers put up left, right and centre... Its a stressful time as it is, and with more stress because you are same sex is crazy. 

But thank you for your post 

Becki x


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## katena (Nov 14, 2007)

Hey,

rach - were at Care - they are amazing!! btw.. sorry to read of your BFNs (we were cycling together moons back!)

Becki - Its bonkers isn't it! Even with the Goods and Services Act which should make things equal. They arent! Sometimes your asked to 'prove' your infirtility by paying for private tx... then when you have had 1 cycle and go back to the NHS - where your entitled to 1 cycle - they say as you can afford private you dont qualify.. or that your private cycle counted as your 1 cycle!

Lots of barriers put up!!!

But - it is possible to get NHS tx for lesbian couples.... unlike gay couples!!

k


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## Charlie &#039;N&#039; Bec (Sep 18, 2010)

Katena, 

I think that its obsurd, I was told yesterday that i now dont qualify because i married a woman, even though i suffer form infertility. Im fuming! but such is the owrld, will have to strap a pair on (sorry about the pun!) and sort myself out. Then start looking for a clinic and start saving . 

Hope all is well. 

Becki xx


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## katena (Nov 14, 2007)

Becki - my honest advice is challenge it! Fight fight fight!

You have a proven infiertility.... to decline you just becuase your partner doesnt have a c*ck is clear discrimination!! What if you had a male partner who had no sperm.. i bet they wouldnt say no then!!

So... anyways.... FIGHT!! and if they keep saying no... go to the Commission for Equality and Human rights. they have case workers who can advise you and help (and are lovely!)

k


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## Charlie &#039;N&#039; Bec (Sep 18, 2010)

Hi K, 

Thank you, I am going to fight this, Im disgusted. Im a general oh whatever person but this has knocked me for 6. I stated to the lady yesterday if I was with a Man or single i would not be having the conversation about being declined. 
I have E-mailed Stonewall and a Lawyer. Waiting to hear back and then challenge them. In the meantime I will start looking at clinics. 

I have never been so shocked ever, When asking clinic's who take's NHS same sex patients im getting rejected due to sperm shortage or Not having funding for Same sex couples. 

Becki xx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Charlie 'N' Bec said:


> I stated to the lady yesterday if I was with a Man or single i would not be having the conversation about being declined.
> I have E-mailed Stonewall and a Lawyer. I have never been so shocked ever, When asking clinic's who take's NHS same sex patients im getting rejected due to sperm shortage or Not having funding for Same sex couples.
> 
> Becki xx


Becki I am sorry to hear about your battle, but I think that you will win it! I notice that you have posted on the Lawyers thread and I didn't think that same sex couples could be discriminated against on funding. Some clinics won't have donor sperm, but you can import it etc.

On another note your comment about single women is incorrect , I am single (as are all the women on the single girls thread) and we are not entitled to any fertility treatment on the NHS. I have been trying to conceive with my gay friend as a KD since 2005, and have spent well over £80K so far. Despite having known fertility porblems idenitified now, low sperm count and my list goes on and on!.

Good luck with your battle!


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## Candy76 (Feb 19, 2011)

Hi Becky,

Someone is trying to short change you.

If you see the positive: Your GP seems to be supportive. And with regards to clinics, its best they tell you now they have a problem with you, rather than when they have your embryo in a dish and decide whether to give you the best chance they can.

The funding regulations in Wales are clear cut and include a statement about single women and f/f couples. It seems like yours doesn't. I don't envy you. http://www.eoescg.nhs.uk/Libraries/Policies_Docs/Fertility_Services_Commissioning_Policy_Final_June_2011.sflb.ashx
There are also documents for different parts of Essex which might be a bit clearer.

Generally I would have thought that once your GP had established that you have a fertility problem, then some admin staff can not just change the goal post in a phone conversation.
Go to as many open evenings as possible and find someone who knows what they are talking about. We have a particular 'talent' of bringing out the best and worst of embryologists, oops. It makes choosing clinics easier. 

Our story of obstacles:
We initially went to the GP asking for a referral to a fertility clinic (simply because you need a referral for a lot of NHS clinics even if you go for private treatment). The GP didn't know the regulations in our case. When they called us back they refused to give us a referral on moral grounds. They said initially it was because we were smoking although we don't. When questioned about it and asking if they had a problem referring us, they said 'yes'.
We then enquired about their complains procedure, made another appointment with a different person and made it as easy for them as possible 'I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding' - 'Oh yes it was, here is your referral'.
It wasn't as easy as it sounds. There were tears, a feeling like we had just been slapped around the face and as if someone was trying to deny us having a family for no reason at all.

The doctor at the clinic was fantastic. She told us exactly what their criteria was for getting NHS treatment. However, after a year of waiting we finally got to the point of donor matching. The only donor available was a mixed race donor. All other donors were already earmarked for other couples. We translated this into 'the nice donors are earmarked for nice (hetero) couples'. Besides which, mixed race donors are so rare, why waste it?!

In the end we couldn't bear the horrendous waiting times and went to a private clinic that had opened in the meantime and where we didn't need another referral! They also had donor issues and we went on the internet to buy sperm from a bank there. Their service was fantastic and many clinics we have spoken to since use them to import themselves.
Before you jump the gun on this one, your East England document says the patient can not fund any part of the treatment themselves. And thinking about this, the clinic may get a set amount £ per treatment from the NHS. If you need donor sperm and they have to import it, this may reduce their profit margin. Which might be why they don't like the sound of treating you. Don't be put of by it; that's not your problem.

AFU, After we each had failed IUI's we are waiting for our appointment to see if we can get funded IVF treatment. But as there is a 2 year wait...

Good luck for you! If you are lucky enough to live where they fund 3 IVF cycles, this would be £££££. It's worth fighting for!

- Sorry for rambling on. This must be the longest I have written since my last essay for uni. Thanks for reading trough all this.

/links


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## deemo (Oct 13, 2009)

Sorry to hear about your experience. We also had some initial push back from the PCT re. funding but we contacted them directly via email cc'ing our consultant. It helped that the clinic was behind us (in that they acknowledged that I have a fertility problem and that if I were in a straight couple, I would be allowed funding). The letter stated this and also quoted a few precedents. I was also furious about the initial message but kept the letter friendly and to the point: people are more inclined to help 


I hope this helps: if you get to the stage where you want to contact your PCT yourself and you would like me to share our letter with you - just as someone else did for us - just ask me.


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## Me and Her (Jan 21, 2010)

Hi there,
I believe Essex comes under the same guidelines as Cambs where we live. 
We had no known medical problems with conceiving but obviously, as a same sex couple we needed some help! We therefore asked the NHS by email what their policy was, they initially said we were eligible for 3 goes with IVF and then when we tried to access it in July 2009) they said that their policy didn't cover same sex couples and so we weren't eligible! Basically no-one had a clue what their new guidelines (May 2009) meant.

We were told to apply for Exceptional Case funding, which we did. Our consultant said she was fairly certain that we would get it. After waiting 6 months for a reply, we were told that we have been refused. Apparently they put ours and another similar case through the Exceptional Cases Panel as a 'test case' and the panel decided that same-sex couples were not eligible *unless they had a proven medical condition that made them sub-fertile* or if they had been trying to conceive through IUI at their own expense for 3 years without success.

So if you already have a diagnosed fertility problem they should treat you the same as any hetero couple otherwise it is discrimination. Our GP referred us to the local hospital for a HSG and blood tests to check my fertility first. You could ask for a hospital referral and the consultant there may know the funding policy better than a GP (the first one we saw had no idea and told us to look up on the net to see if there were any guidelines!)
We had to pay as no fertility probs but that meant we could just have IUI which cost less.
If you are successful in getting funding I can highly recommend Bourn Hall - great treatment and no wait for sperm.  
Hope this helps. Best wishes,
El.


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