# Concerns



## Troodles (Jun 7, 2009)

Hi all


We've just started out on this journey and trying to feel positive. 


I can't stop that nagging voice in my head from telling me we won't be accepted and then it's the end of the road, I'll never be a mummy   


My main concerns are I'm 42, overweight and type 1 diabetic and so they won't feel like I'm a good option to place a child with. DH thinks I'm being silly (and he's probably right).


I eat fairly healthily and exercise 3 times a week so I'm not really unfit and unhealthy but I worry they just look at the BMI and that's it. 


So scared of not finally getting our happy ending, I feel sick all the time and can't sleep. 


Troodles xxx


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## Waiting_patiently (Dec 4, 2013)

Welcome 

Just wanted to reassure you, Im 41, DH 44, both overwieght, no diabetes though I am on Blood pressure tablets (white coat syndrome so they say  ). My bmi is 39, Hubbies 35 I think (he's very tall I'm very short haha) Now were approved we have been told to lose half a stone asap as we could be at matching panel in a few months and they will want to see were doing something about it. 

I've read of many other people that have been very successful but requested to show they are doing something to manage weight and prove they are doing it. 

We started 7 months ago and put it off for years mainly due to all the scarey things you hear about how hard the process is. We were terrified as a few years back we seperated for a good number of months after IVF failure but this was seen actually as a positive that weve been strong enough to save our marraige ect.

So in short, just go for it, show them you will be an amazing set of parents to any child in need and they snap you up.

Good Luck xx


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## Dawn7 (Sep 10, 2013)

Aww Troodles,

I think a lot of us on here can understand how ur thinking and for many different reasons. Adoption is probably a lot of people's last attempt to become parents and get that forever family. So we all have those horrid panic and anxiety attacks throughout the process  

We're 4 weeks away from panel and I've read u can't take anything for granted, there's no reason we should get a no, but I'm scared, something will hit us from nowhere. My DH thinks I'm being silly too.
I'm currently having sleepless nights as my sw and last reference have yet to meet and we have a week to receive our PAR and get it to panel argh! lol

Regarding ur weight, I think as long as u can show ur active and leading a healthy lifestyle, then why should it matter. I hate how looking at people's weight determines whether they make good parents or not, my sister is a size 18/20 and is a great mum.
Also a lot of athletes are considered overweight if u look at their BMI's, so looking at BMI's is pretty pointless, but that's just my opinion. I think my BMI is just over 25 making me overweight, but I'm a dress size 12 crazy!

I would speak to ur sw and hopefully she'll be able to put ur mind at ease and posting on this site will definitely help and there's some wonderful ladies who'll be able to make u more at ease.

Hope this helped and good luck with ur journey

xx


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## babybiggles73 (Feb 15, 2010)

Hi, I'm overweight and a type 2 diabetic, they just ask what impact it has on your daily life.  And if your blood sugars are well regulated. At panel it was never mentioned as it was covered as part of our home study. So dont panic and go for it  there is no reason you wont get your happy ever after.
p.s. im at matching panel on the 20th may for a 13 month old blue


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## Troodles (Jun 7, 2009)

Thank you all so much for you lovely words and support. 


Waiting patiently. Congrats on your yes!! I bet you still can't believe it. 


Dawn fingers crossed for your panel in May. 


Babybiggles7 congrats. Bet you can't wait to bring little bluey home. 


Good luck and lots of love. 


Thanks again
T x x x


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## millie:) (Feb 12, 2013)

Troodles try not to worry I'm 40 in June have a bmi of 33 and with pcos and under active thyroid which makes it harder to lose weight my weight was never brought up just what sort of lifestyle you have we are  active  but dont go to a gym have a fur baby so walk a lot and have an allotment it never came up it did not even come up in panel I'm sure as long as you show that your diabetes is well controlled it won't be a massive issue but the thing is you probably will still worry I would not let it hold you back. Good luck and as much as every new stage happens in the adoption process you have so many fears and worries my worry was is the house good enough what if social services don't like our dog or what if the social worker does not like you but although the worry does not go away its been fine were nearly at the end and in hindsight I have found the matching process far worse then the adoption process what I mean is I have been sick with worry what if the child's social worker does not like us what if the foster carer  does not like you etc but again I think its been fine we are at matching panel 12 may so for all the worry and exhaustion we have made it nearly x good luck x


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## Troodles (Jun 7, 2009)

Thanks Millie


Yes those are my next set of worries lol


Congratulations on getting through!! Will be thinking of you on 12 May. Look forward to hearing your big news. 


X x x


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

As second time adopters we were 48 and 52 when our daughter was placed and both very overweight.


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## Troodles (Jun 7, 2009)

Thanks minnymoo x


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