# New member, frightened and in need of advice from anyone who could help



## bindhi012 (Mar 1, 2010)

Hi,
I'm Sally. 36 years old. No previous children. Husband has 2 from first marriage. My Husband has MG and also had a vasectomy reversal a year ago. He had the vasectomy 9 years ago. The reversal, according to the private surgeon, worked well. However, we were told the sperm count was low and sperm moving slowly. We have been trying to conceive for a year but no joy. We were referred by my doctor to the fertility and gynae clinic at the Luton and Dunstable hospital. My ovulation and plumbing are all okay. My Husbands sperm count the doctor described as severely low (I think he said point 1 whatever that means), and with little motility. He said we need specialist help. After that I just cried and nothing else he said registered. I was told our only chance was with specialist procedures. Is it possible for ICSI to work if sperm have no motility? Does it mean that if sperm do not move that they are dead and it is therefore not possible to concieve even with these procedures? I am so confused and cannot ask our doctor at the ferility clinic until a next appointment which will most likely mean another 3 month wait. 
Can anyone offer advice or their experiences which may be similar?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and hopefully comment. 
Kindest regards


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## Donksi (Jan 27, 2010)

Hi sally , i just read your post  and i feel for you  . I have just had icsi for the first time as my husbands sperm have the same problem too plus the reason for that is down to antibodies in his semen , but this does not mean the same for your husband, there are many reasons for it. Try no to worry too much  and i know that can be very hard as i have been were you are now . If there is any thing you want to know just send me a personal message and i will be happy to help. There is much help available on FF and everyone is so supportive . you take care for now  . x


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## TINKERBEL21 (Mar 1, 2010)

Hi sally, wanted to drop u a line to say try not to panic too much! My DH and I have the same problem and I also have slight PCOS which I never knew about til we started having tests. We have had 2 goes of failed ICSI and I am now waiting to start my 1st got of frozen. Even tho we have had 2 failed goes which does not sound good a friend of mine and her DH also had the same problem and they now have a little boy who is almost 2, so I know it does happen. I know its hard not to worry but stress is also not good for you and while going through treatment added stress is really not needed. If you want to know more just pm me and I will be more then happy to talk. X


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## livity k (May 19, 2009)

Hi 

Welcome to FF- you have found a great site, 

Have a look on the male factor threads, they have lots of helpful info- Quite a few husbands/partners of women at my clinic seem to have boosted sperm counts with high strength vitamins, 

My DH is paralysed and we had ICSI with sperm from his testicles which weren't mature so yes I think they can work with most sperm, all our embryos went to blastocyst which is day 5 so the sperm were definitely doing their thing, 

good luck with everything

Livity


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Sally and welcome to Fertility Friends 

We have had 3 attempts at ICSi, we had virtually no sperm whatsoever, and i have PCOS. If your consultant is suggesting ICSI then he must believe in you both in giving it a go  In our case we had to use a sperm donor. Even the donors sperm was 'slow' but with ICSI our 3rd attempt worked and now have a sleeping beauty upstairs  All the embryologists need to do is find one good sperm - enough to create one embryo with a good egg from you. Anything more than that is a huge bonus   They would try if they didnt think it was possible hun    
Please have a good look around the boards, feel free to post in any area, and make yourself at home. Fertility Friends is such a huge support. There are many who are on their TTC journey, and others who have been fortunate to have little ones with assistance. You will soon discover that our members are very encouraging of one another and offering advice or just simple hugs. There's a vast amount of information here for everyone, so start reading, posting and getting to know others. You will make some great friends too (add them to your buddy list in your profile!), lots of members often have meet ups locally too, for chats, coffee, shopping or even nights out! You can share conversations with one another freely, simply because we all understand each other. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what this journey entails and the emotions that go with it. That's where we come in!

Here are some links which you should find really useful at the moment&#8230;&#8230;

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Peer Support (for asking fertility and treatment related questions of your fellow FFers) ~ * CLICK HERE

Have a look at alternative therapies here to try to boost sperm quantity/quality... 
*Complimentary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ *CLICK HERE 

*Investigations & Immunology ~ *CLICK HERE

*Male factors ~ *CLICK HERE

*Questions for your first cycle consultation ~ (use the ones that apply) *CLICK HERE

*ICSI ~ *CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. You will find a thread, usually with a funny/inspiring name for this year's buddies. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment.

*Cycle buddies ~ *CLICK HERE

*2WW, Ladies in Waiting ~ *CLICK HERE

*Keep a diary of your treatment ~ * 
CLICK HERE

Its not all just serious stuff here, you can also have a bit of fun or just gossip while you are on FF too so check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area:

*Girl & Boy talk - Community & Fun Board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. It's a small world!

Wishing you lots of luck    and 
Keep in touch
Ceri xx

PS I have also sent you a pm (private message)


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## speeder (Jul 9, 2008)

Hi Sally - welcome to FF.  It's been such a support for me - hope it will help you too.

Sorry to hear about your DH's sperm issues.  I don't know much about your particular situation (other than that ICSI can work so well in these cases).  We found out my husband was azoospermic - so no sperm at all (not even 1) and we still don't know why.  We used donor sperm with IUI and it worked on the third attempt and we have a beautiful little girl.

So you have lots and lots of options available to you - ICSI and even if that doesn't work, you could consider the donor route.  

Hope this helps xx


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## sabah m (Jul 11, 2008)

Hi Sally

My DH also had a vasectomy and we were told a reversal was unlikely to work and even if it did the motility was poor so we couldn't get pregnant that way.  I also got diagnosed with PCOS at time of IVF, never before, so my fertility was now also a factor.  Our very kind GP told us all we need is one sperm, and that is what got me pregnant with our first attempt at ICSI!!!! They extracted sperm directly from him using a syringe and analysed and did god knows what else and fused individual sperm with my eggs.  We got 5 embryos, all blastocycts (top grade) had two implanted and one survived, he's now almost 10 months old.  We are curently on the road to FET as we froze three embryos.  So take heart, you have no fertility problems so you will be fine!  His lazy sperm won't know what hit them when they do ICSI!  And by the way my DH was 48 when we first had treatment.  Very excited for you, only thing is I am very impatient so i went private from the start, it cut out long waiting times for appointments, don't know if thats an option for you/.

Sabah


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## Mistletoe (Holly) (Jan 1, 2007)

Hi,
My DH also has no sperm at all. on surgical biopsy of the testicle, looking for sperm, they found immature sperm stuck at one stage of development - maturation arrest - we do not know why either. He has a child previously, but something changed.

So we were hoping to find a few to do ICSI with and there were none. My DH took it hard - they do - look after your DH he will feel pretty rubbish. 

The good news is that your DH has live sperm, even if they are in small numbers. Normal is millions per ml of semen, but even if you only have a few live ones, the embryologist can select down the microscope the best looking ones and inject those directly into the eggs.

During our donor IVF cycle, the sperm is frozen, obviously to allow time to blood test the donor for HIV etc after 6 months to ensure all clear before it is used. When it was defrosted, the sperm were swimming slowly. The embryologist said that they would swim faster after culturing for a while, but we opted for ICSI and I got 12 embryos, 4 top grade. 2 went back and I got a BFP (unfortunately a miscarriage) and I have 2 on ice, which I am trying with now.

Your situation is not as bleak as you think. There are things that can be done.


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## Mistletoe (Holly) (Jan 1, 2007)

I feel utter despair on a minute by minute basis 365 days of the year hun, so you are not alone.

I have had 10 years of total misery and only have the minute possibility that my donor IVF frozen embryos might change things.

Infertility can be such a lonely existence. There is research that shows women with infertility show similar levels of stress and depression as cancer patients. It is a never ending grief and a deeply unfulfilled instinct.

You are not being weak or stupid - you are being human.


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