# this isnt easy



## sarah_1 (Jan 14, 2006)

hi all

Got a BFN today....period came bang on time at 11:45 this morning on day 27 of cycle. I was at work and just walked over to my boss and said Im going home.....he has been pretty good to me and just said take care of yourself see you later.  I think im quite lucky.

Silly thing is , when i got home i did a hpt...just to be sure, reckon thats a sign of craziness!
Told DH and he's gutted.
Phoned clinic and they want me to come in tomorrow morning to decide what to do next. This was our first time round having IUI, I know they are going to say ICSI as DH has v.low count. Thing is, We arent sure if IVF / ICSI is what we want. IUI was intrusive enough and i cant beleive how much it took over our lives. The question im asking myself is "do i really want a child if im not considering IVF/ICSI"? 

We want children in our lives so much that i cant put it into words but at what cost? Our jobs? Our marriage? Our financial security? 
I dont want to go down the path that I have seen some people on here go down. I have nothing but total admiration for those brave souls but I am not brave enough. I worry however, if i dont do it then i will have lots of what if's .....

No regrets.........Thats something i promised myself when i was 16 that i would live by and to date i have..... the next few weeks are going to bring some very deep soul searching.


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

Sarah, whatever you decide will be the right decision for you. it has nothing to do with how brave you are (who's to say what is brave and what is not anyway) realising what is right for you and standing by your decisions at the time (as we ladies do have the right to change our minds depending on the weather) is the bravest thing of all

wishing you loads of luck whatever you decide hun,  

pam xx

P.s. remeber we are all here for you so never feel alone


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