# IPs Feeling a little "lost"



## sjane1 (Nov 12, 2008)

Sorry I have not posted on here for a while - I have been busy researching (poor excuse I know! - sorry x)  


I am finding it hard to believe that as straight IPs we will ever acheive our goal - this is not in any way to do with anything I have been told it is simply that I cant understand why anyone would want to do that for me!! Tghis feeling has totally thrown me as I was feeling so positive.  I feel as though there is more I should be doing to get to know surrogates but dont know what next step we are meant to take.

I am hoping you can make some sense of my rambling and hopefully tell me this is normal and just a phase I am going through.  I soo much want to get my positive head back    

Sorry for the rant - I promise to post a happy post when I find my head again!


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## apricot (Apr 21, 2008)

Hi there - please dont worry your feelings are totally normal and we all go through them, and continue to go through them!! I still cant believe our amazing surro is having a baby for us, something even one of my own sisters wont do (one said she might after having her own family, but she wants loads!), and DH sister wouldnt do for us. It is hard to get your head around the fact that a stranger will help you where your own family wont and I struggled with that for a while.

BUT there are these amazing women out there who know that they doing a truely life changing thing and just enjoy bringing life into the world. And lets face it there is nothing else any of us could do to make such a positive contribution to the world - not unless we have the answer to world peace! There will be someone out there that is 'just right' for you. We went through COTS and found them fantastic and even now I get a call every few weeks to check everything is OK.

Next step wise - you can keep on with websites and get yourself know that way, you can also join an organisation like COTS and they will start sending your profile to surros (you can also write a diary on their site and get yourself known), you might want to give ****************** a call too as they can match you quickly but it is more expensive initially. Alternatively you can have a look at 'surro mums online' and there UK surrogates are often looking to 'get to know' IPs. Just make sure if you do reply that you emphasise that you are looking for friendship and support and see what develops from there. So loads to do and lots of people to get to know. Alternatively if you are reasonably well off you could go to the US as this is becoming more and more possible.

Hope this helps a bit, you have taken your first steps and now youve started you might as well keep going! Its persistance that really pays off in this game. I spent hours each day chatting with surros and on various sites just getting to know people. You just have to see what works for you. I was put off COTS on the first call but now a year down the line I couldnt have done this without them and nearly everyone I know has gone through them. 

Good luck hun, this is definitely a marathon and it will just become part of your life in the end.

Axxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## sjane1 (Nov 12, 2008)

Hi

Thank you for your reply its good to hear I am "normal" after all   
"surro mums online" is that american ?

Good luck on your journey


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## apricot (Apr 21, 2008)

Hi there - yes surro mums online is american but a lot of uk surrogates are on there and I think that people that go independant use it a lot. But a word of caution, not everyone is genuine so please take loads of time to get to know your surro first if that is the route you choose. There is also loads of info on there which I found really useful when starting out, particularly when I was researching US surrogate companies. But do feel free to ask away as that is what we are all here for!   xxxxxxxxxxx


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## michelle39 (Jun 6, 2008)

It was lovely to meet you yesterday  

Your feelings are perfectly normal.  I think I remember telling you how we felt after our first social meeting.   The journey that you are about to start is as Michelle says like going on a roller coaster. Just take your time and you will get to know where you feel at home. 

Feel free to PM me


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## sjane1 (Nov 12, 2008)

Well as I have not posted for a while I thought I would give you all a more positive update.  It lookslike we are about too embark on OUR very own surrogacy journey - after chatting on several forums, one of which has been of great support to me (www.rainbowsurrogacysupport.com) we have met some lovely people and are feeling so much more positive about surrogacy.  Talking to to others in the same/similar boat has really helped me and I have been researching so much and sharing that with others whilst the more experienced people have been providing excellent guidance for me.


Not only do I feel so blessed that our surro has found us but I am so lucky to have found amazing friends too!!!

I hope my post can help those who are feeling "a little lost" like I was, realise that it is worth the time and effort to acheive your goal and mostly that you are not alone!!

Please feel free to contact me I an be of any help in anyway.

Sarah
xx


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