# Work and IVF ...good,bad,ugly?



## Twisie (Mar 21, 2014)

First appointment Thursday. Need to speak to my manager and inform him what's about to happen

Any advice
Am I likely to need time off,be sick?
What's your experience

Any information would be most helpful
Thank you 
X


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## Molly99 (Apr 16, 2012)

Good luck!

I decided not to tell work and have managed it through sick leave and annual leave.  My work would actually have been amazing about it I think (although our policy is that IVF is a 'lifestyle choice'  ), I just didn't feel like sharing it really but it probably would have been easier if I had.

It depends on where you are and where your clinic is really.  We live 6 hours from our clinic, so the logistics of getting there for the scans every other day was very challenging.  If you live close though, then you may be able to go to the scans and just take a little time out of the day.

Unless it corresponds with a weekend too, it's nice to take a at least a couple of days off after the collection / transfer.  I felt terrible on our first cycle and had to take time off sick but I managed it ok this time and just took time of to rest and take it really easy after the transfer.  Some ladies cope amazingly and go straight back to work but I did feel a little sensitive and exhausted after all of the highs and lows of the week.  I think that most clinics & fertility experts recommend taking 2-3 days off after the transfer.

I hope that they are supportive to you


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## Dory10 (Aug 6, 2013)

Hi

It's like Molly says it depends on so many things - the nature of your job, whether your hours are flexible, distance from the clinic and how you react to the drugs etc.

My hours are non negotiable so had to take scans off as medical appointments, I had 2 days for EC as after sedation you can't drive for 24 hours, I had the full 2ww off as I work with young children and was terrified of them coming in with nasties or having to pick up them or furniture.  As it was I was shattered from all the cycle anyway so needed some rest time.  My GP was very happy to sign me off and noted it as gynae surgery.

Good Luck

Dory
xxx


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## Twisie (Mar 21, 2014)

Hi Dory and Molly 

Thank you for your reply great help and a bit more sense on what to expect.
Well I'm an hour from clinic so not that bad and my job is quite flexible as long as my work is done. Hopefully he's still as understanding through this. 
So did you tell your employer Dory? Thank you Molly yes I'm not so worried bout boss well I don't think but I don't really wanna share and certainly don't want the workforce knowing. My boss has a tendency of letting information slipping :/  

not looking forward to it and answering questions I probably don't know the answer to myself lol

Thank you for helping me try to work this out   for the best


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## moggle (Nov 28, 2013)

I told my manager and he was surprisingly understanding. I actually don't like him that much, but on this he has been good. He went through IVF with his wife 15 yrs ago so has some idea of what it involves although things were very different then, chances much lower, and he has been pretty pessimistic in general (it was unsuccessful for them although then they had two kids naturally!). We did have quite a few discussions about it all!
My clinic is only 10 mins from work, super convenient, and they schedule scans before work if you want so I didn't have to take any time off before EC. EC was harder than I expected - I planned to have 2 days off, but ended up taking 4 days off mon-thurs and worked at home the Friday, as I was feeling fine in myself by then but walking around was slow and painful. (I had more follicles than expected so was pretty sore after and had mild OHSS for which the main treatment is rest). On the Saturday I had ET, back at work on monday as normal. 
My manager obviously didn't tell any colleagues what was happening, I just told them I was ill (we are quite close and chat on ******** so I did have to plan my excuse as I knew they'd check I was OK after a couple of days.). 

The only problem was that after being fairly open with him beforehand, I forgot to say to him that I would not be telling him immediately when I found out the result of the cycle; and he emailed me a couple of days after I got my bfp to ask if I had good news! I know he was only interested, I wasn't too annoyed, I just replied and said I didn't know yet but if it was good news I'd wait until after some early scans to tell him. So if you do tell about the ivf, make sure to say that just because they know in more detail what is going on, you still won't be telling them the outcome until later, as if you had got a natural bfp.


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## Twisie (Mar 21, 2014)

Thank you moggle for your experience I definitely don't want to go into all the details with him as I know he'll be expecting news and probably annoying me. Also yes my work colleagues I need a excuse/story in place to keep them off the scent. Never though of that.
What's OHSS . I'm trying my best with abbreviations lol I'm getting there slowly. 
I'm definitely going to look at sorting more time off just in case at least if I don't need it (fingers crossed) work would be happier.
X


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## Twisie (Mar 21, 2014)

OHSS
I now know.
X


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## moggle (Nov 28, 2013)

Excuses wise I was going to go for gastrointestinal if anyone asked, as then if you need more time then you can keep saying, oh I thought I was better but then I ate something and puked again...!
Another quite good option is to go for something close to the truth and say you have to have a gynae procedure. Has the benefit of stopping male colleagues and bosses asking too many more questions.
One thing if you do tell the truth is that any days off required after embryo transfer, are covered by the protection that pregnant women get and sick days in this period can't be used in any disciplinary issue. But I didn't need any days off after that point.


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## Twisie (Mar 21, 2014)

Ah ok yes gives me a few ideas the excuses are more for work colleagues I don't want them bothering and bugging me which the do a lot so I dread to think. I'll tell me boss what's going on but not all the details and keep more to procedures I think. I'm hoping I'm ok throughout but knowing my luck ( being negative again) I'll probably be ill as hell. Fingers crossed I'm not


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## melbg (Jun 10, 2012)

Ovarian cysts are another good tmi excuse for work, they can keep coming back, flare up after weeks/months etc. Especially good when your colleagues have seen you looking very ill after a flare up at work ! 

At my work we get time back for hospital appts, I just wrote my appt/scan dates/times on a clinic letterhead and black out the department. I told my immediate manager that my Endo had flared up and I was trialling some drugs to make it go away (not entirely untrue as pregnancy would be the best way to keep endo at bay)

I've told my colleagues that my week off last week from ec is for a gynae op, had one last year so again, perfect excuse. 

I hope that none of us need any more excuses after these rounds! Xx


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## Perla (Feb 20, 2013)

Interesting reading all of your comments... its so funny my boss and a couple of others know at work but the other staff do not and I am a hairdresser and I have said I am having a week off sick for a gynae op. 
I only have a vague idea of ec so have booked off that day a week and a half as want to rest as much as possible, hope its enough time really. 
Hope you all get on well with your treatment x


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## Mrst83 (Apr 11, 2013)

Hiya hope you don't mind if I join in. My work are being a nightmare before I even begin. I'm curremgmt training my supervisor. Odd I know but that's the company I work for.I'm doing the job of two people while I do her stuff my duties as her assistant and try and train her at the same time. I've explained to my boss. A bloke but said hes worked with staff before in another company who had ivf treatment so would do you everything he could to help. I asked him today if there was anyway I could have some support as the next eight weeks were going to be difficult as I'm just about to start treatment and I could do with a little less pressure. He said I either want my job or I don't. Simple as he also said the next six weeks would be even harder as I only have 6 weeks to ET and she has to be trained by then if I want any time off . I can't really afford to take time off after EC  or ET as I'm hourly paid and don't get sick pay. I'm so worried before I even begin


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## Perla (Feb 20, 2013)

Hello! Oh dear poor you! I also do not get sick pay and I work pretty much just on commission so I have felt stressed like you! I have to say I did go to my boss and he has been very supportive! There were no guidelines in place and I explained I don't want to use all of my holiday having the treatment etc so they are going to try to bump my money up for the days I am off if that makes sense! 
He sounds very insensitive! Try to not get stressed out though it's not worth it! 
Take the time you need and sod everyone else!! Xx


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## Mrst83 (Apr 11, 2013)

Oh thank you dear yes he is a bit of an ****. Always the same though ones that do nowt get all the perks in my place. Feel like poop today he's very childish and told me none of my colleagues like me any more coz I'm always whinging. That was nice . I dont know if I've meltdown today though as I've got my last period today before I start my treatment, first round Icsi and it was provably on ny mind that I may have one last hope before I have to go on this crazy journey that I'm terrified about. thanks for your kind words. There's no guidelines in my work either it's all very wrong. They're not happy as they dint understand why I can't give them definite dates of appointments but dint seem interested when I try and explain why ....oooh chamomile tea needed.


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## Perla (Feb 20, 2013)

Oh dear he sounds awful! What do you do! 
Just noticed I am the same age as you and so are our husbands! 
X


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## Me Myself and I (Dec 30, 2012)

My only advice is not to say you're having fertility treatment! 
If you can pass it off as gynae stuff do or get appointments taht are ambiguous. Employers do  not HAVE to give you paid time or paid sick for IVF unless their policies state so and then it is often minimal. Fertility treatment is seen as a life choice in same way as cosmetic surgery.

Good luck


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## [email protected]@h (Dec 11, 2012)

I told my work and was completely supported. They even have an infertility policy regarding time off. Anytime ur ill whether emotional or physical is normal 'sick' leave. Whether it is because u decided to do this is irrelevant. Would a company deny sick leave to someone who say broke their leg skiing or after getting drunk on a night out? That's all personal choice too! 

Even if all goes smoothly with ivf there will be days u can't face seeing other people, feel like crap, sit and stare at your screen all day etc if your manager is aware it avoids any awkward conversations and them perhaps thinking ur productivity or enthusiasm has ceased 

I thought long and hard before telling him but it was one of the best ivf decisions I made. Having work not be another stress factor in ivf is important. You'll have enough to worry about without adding your work to the list 

Good luck.


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## Twisie (Mar 21, 2014)

Mrst83 more the merrier on here we all in the same boat. I'm so gutted you've had such a **** response from your employer . Maybe go to your doc and just get signed off that what I'm going to do if all goes wrong. I don't get sick pay but I'd rather a little loan to cover me a few weeks this stuff is more important and I'll pay it off when back. I've also got no holidays as April hasn't even started ye so I haven't even earnt a day.
My boss is always supportive and says the right things but he can change with the bloody wind and loves having a hold on a person and I don't want that but all crossed. [email protected]@h I love the broken leg drunk thing very very true.


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## Mrst83 (Apr 11, 2013)

Thanks ladies. Been ignored all day today at work so left early coz I couldn't be bother took my gorgeous pooch for a nice long walk and feel better . They've said no time off I need will be recorded as sick so they can't try and use it against me. HR said it will be recorded as treatment and not unauthorised absence or sick. I think I may have to get a sick note for 2ww I don't think I could face any of them or the stress that work brings. I desperately need to find another hob but nobody would employ me at the minute would they. Hey ho well I'm gonna have a glass of wine tonight and not even feel guilty I find it hard to relax and that does so that's justified lol hope your all well x


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## [email protected]@h (Dec 11, 2012)

If I were u and to give yourself total protection, go off on sick from ec and throughout the 2ww. Your gp or your hosp will sign u off no problem and it could be stress related or physical ie pain, recovery from operation etc. 

Also remember from the point of EC or ET you are legally pregnant (google it) so you have additional protection at work. 

Try not t to worry. Even if u decide u need the whole time of u can with a sick note and it must by law be treated as sick leave.


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## Perla (Feb 20, 2013)

Hi again, you could definitely still get another job! My friend did while she was pregnant! Really feel for you!
I wish I could take the 2ww off I only will have a few days after transfer. 
My work have been good but I don't get sick pay they said they will sort something out but still a worry! I will take some as holiday x


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## janeybec (Mar 3, 2014)

Aw ladies thanku so much for this thread!  This is my biggest fear of the whole ivf cycle...I am not technically allowed time of work for ivf as they see it as cosmetic.  Am really hoping my doctor will sign me off sick as we live 6hr round trip away from our clinic. Loving this site atm, so nice to know we are not alone x x


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## lornam1989 (Jan 28, 2014)

Hi all,

Really interesting reading all these posts and seeing how works treat everyone differently.

Mine has been an absolute a**hole about the whole thing to be fair. I told our HR Manager and asked about a policy. There was none in place but was told I would be supported through out.

After starting my hospital appointments I was told I now have to work any time back which I was fuming at so I told my manager I was going to go on sick leave once I start injecting myself which starts next week. I was then told if I do go on sick leave I would receive a disciplinary.

I have now been told that I won't receive a disciplinary but I have to let them know every little detail and try and get the earliest or latest appointments so it doesn't affect my works.

At present I am still aiming to go on sick leave for the whole of April . My egg collection is hopefully w/ 14.4 :/ 

Xx


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## Perla (Feb 20, 2013)

Hi janeybec,
This thread is very helpful and interesting.
Lornam that is not good you poor thing! The obviously backtracked once you had said that.
So is this your first cycle?
I will be working through injection phase and then take off 10 days from ec. 
X


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## Josie1 (Sep 30, 2013)

Hey I've heard before that anytime after ET can be noted as pregnancy related.

Where would you find this online? I can't see it in google, it would help me if I needed it in the future as pregnancy related sickness in my work is separate from sick and is treated differently x


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## Perla (Feb 20, 2013)

Hi Josie,
I also tried to find it online and I could not find it!? 
I will only have about 4 days off after transfer but will only work for 2 days then it's the weekend, I really hope it's enough.
Let me know if you find it! X


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## moggle (Nov 28, 2013)

Hi, on the citizens advice website http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/work_e/work_discrimination_e/discrimination_at_work_because_of_pregnancy_or_maternity_leave.htm#h_time_off_sick_for_pregnancy_and_your_sickness_record 
it says
"Time that you take off sick because of an illness resulting from your pregnancy, such as high blood-pressure, shouldn't count towards your sickness record at work. This includes any time you take off because of a miscarriage."
(but note sick leave due to stuff unrelated to the pregnancy still counts).

Then further down the same page under "Do you have a right to time off work to have fertility treatment?" it says:
"Once a fertilised embryo has been implanted, you will be legally pregnant. You will then be entitled to time off for ante-natal care as well as all the protection from discrimination that other pregnant women are entitled to."


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## Josie1 (Sep 30, 2013)

Thanks so much for this, it will help me so much if I am ill again after ET, my work classes pregnancy related sickness different and your not penalised for it x


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## moggle (Nov 28, 2013)

Ooh I meant to add- there's a drop down menu at the top to make sure you get the right info for your country. I was looking at England.


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## [email protected]@h (Dec 11, 2012)

Any sick leave after EC or ET can't remember which is recorded as preg sick leave and cant be counted in regular sick leave because only a female can recieve an embryo or be pregnant so counting it as normal sick opens a huge flood gate of sexism. There is one very famous case in law about awoman who was made redundant after an ET and she claimed it was sexist as no man could ever have that done and therfore wouldn't have been off work.


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## Josie1 (Sep 30, 2013)

Thanks it was for Scotland 2, I guess it's right enough as it's through citizens advice x


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