# BFN anyone fancy a chat??



## kerribluecat (Nov 20, 2006)

Hi 
just got a BFN last week after an FET, new to this experience so would love to chat!
is it normal to feel terribly guilty, what if i had done this, or not done that, feel; so low,
anyone else feel like this,
why does this all have to cost so much too!!!!!!
Kerri x


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## georgie9 (Sep 18, 2008)

Hi Kerri,  I know how you feel.  Just got my BFN yesterday and don't quite know what to do with myself.  I thought I did everything right this time... reduced my hrs at work, had acupuncture and did nothing but relax in my 2ww.  Was sure I'd get a BFP.  Life seems so cruel.  

Well, I think we can allow ourselves a few days to be miserable. But we can't allow it it eat us up.  To do that would be to give in to it. So we both need to move on and go for plan B... whatever that may be.  For me it will be a follow-up consultation and then hopefully a 2nd cycle.  

The only thing I can suggest is to read some of the wonderful success stories on this site.  One member wrote that 75% of women have success after 3 IVF attempts.  It is a good figure.  So, treat this attempt as a trial run, get your positive and determined head on, grit your teeth and tell yourself that this will work one day. 

I hope I'm not spouting off a whole load of crap at you.  I don't even know your circumstances.  I just feel for you so much and know how you feel. I guess it helps me too, to chat to someone in the same boat.

I really hope you feel brighter very soon.  In fact, I know you will.

Georgie

PS  Don't know how to send the huggie things but Sending a big hug anyway!!


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## kerribluecat (Nov 20, 2006)

hi there

blessu hun
sending u hugs too!!!!
i know many will think im ungrateful as had BFB last time ( mayb why i was so sure it would work again!!!)
i am truelly blessed with the most amazing little boy!!!!! but i would so love to give him a bro/sis and knowing what its like to get a bfp makes me even more determind!!!!!!

yeh once the Af goes and ive drunk a few glasses and ate lots of choc, i will bounce back!!! been through so much these last few years this should just pass me by, but hate the emotions im going through and not sure how to deal with them!!!!
i have an incredibly supportive DH and a miricle DS.

just wish it wasnt so costly, we just cant find a way we can raise the funds 

what is your next step etc ( if u dont mind me asking ))

xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## georgie9 (Sep 18, 2008)

Sorry.  Blind as a bat.  I can now see your history below your message.  How gorgeous that you have a son.  You must absolutely believe that you can do it again.  No worries.  These intervening disappointments will only go to make you stronger.  Actually... that is a load of b******s, isn't it?  We could do without all the heartache and just get BFPs every time.  

I am 40 (moved into horrible statistics now) and have TTC with DH (39) for 4 years.  1 x IVF locally a year ago.  2 good embies that did not implant.  2 x IUI before that. Now a BFN after 3 top grade embies failed to implant.  Very positive experience at ARGC 2nd time.  Will go again if the consultant says I have the same chances.  I am relying on the fact that if you try it enough it will eventually work.  Obviously I have an implantation problem (although still 'unexplained' and hope that one day my body will finally say... " oh, I get it, this is what I am supposed to do!!" and all will be well.  I have never actually been pregnant and I am longing for the chance to feel what that is like.  

Anyway, thanks for the reply.  Perhaps we will speak again soon.  Let me know when you start again.  Hang the expense.  That is why credit cards were invented!!

Take it easy and enjoy that glass of wine.  I am about to climb into a hot bath with my glass.

Georgie


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## kerribluecat (Nov 20, 2006)

hi
hope u enjoy your wine, i know i am enjoying mine, even if my DH has broken down and is now being towed home!! should of been back 3 hrs ago 

You will get there as i did!!!!!! this site helps so much and everyone has such diff stories!!!!!

credit cards, i wish, ive not worked since DS as waited to embark on this journey again and couldnt bear the thought of someone else looking after him, after the wait he had to get him. 

MY DH is 43, so i think hes starting to get tired, having already 4 kids 9 3 with ex, whom which he only had to sneeze next to to get pregnant, how ironic now! what with me!)...but i long for another for our one!!!!! ( do i sound greedy, sorry!)


take care and like u say. it is a load of b********s what we have to endure but it DOES makes us stronger...in the end.

wishing you all the luck in the world xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## georgie9 (Sep 18, 2008)

Sorry about the delay in replying.  My brother phoned to offer support and a conversation ensued about my useless uterus and dried up eggs.  Not the kind of conversation you would normally expect with your brother.  Bless him, he was just trying to understand what it is all about.  I am sure he now has too much info now about his sister's bits!!  Hay ho.  I guess this thing makes us all a bit disinhibited!!.

Your are absolutely right in wanting another little one.  How on earth can that be greedy?  It is a completely natural yearning.  I don't just want one.  Anyway... perhaps you should borrow your DH's ex's womb!!!  Ever think of that?  God, I am sick some times.  That's what desperation does to you.  

Must go and attempt some sort of tidying before my DH returns.

Thanks for the lovely chat.  Feel so much better now.  Wishing you both all good wishes and more babies too.xxxxxxxxx

Georgie


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