# Egg share scheme



## mrstbarnes (Apr 25, 2013)

Hello 

Was wondering if anyone else was egg sharing and could share their experiences.

I start my treatment in 3 weeks. So excited but nervous at the same time 
Tracey


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## dickinson34 (Feb 22, 2013)

I'm about to egg share in cardiff. I've been matched and due to start the pill in May .... ready for down the ... I'm nervous has he'll!


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## incywincy (Nov 13, 2011)

Hi Tracey,

I'm in the middle of it all now.  I would say the overriding aspect has been one of waiting and impatience in my case!  Waiting for consultations, waiting to be matched, waiting to start.  I even had to down-reg longer than usual because they needed to sync my recipient's cycle with me!  Once all that bit is past, the time flies by.  I have read people saying this before and I didn't really believe them, but it does.  I stimmed for about 10 days before taking th trigger shot and it all flew by and the next thing I knew I was being wheeled down to theatre for egg collection!  I'm due to have the embryo put back tomorrow, then it's on to the 2ww, more waiting.

How are you feeling about sharing?  Some people find they have quite an emotional response to sharing their eggs but I've been quite detached from it, I haven't found myself thinking of them as mine or anything.  I might feel differently if I find out she's been successful but I can't see it at the moment.

Good luck with your cycle!


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## Bemy (Mar 2, 2013)

Incywincy - I am so glad you've mentioned the waiting, I've still got 2 weeks until my initial appointment - seems to be taking forever, then I'll have the wait for acceptance on to the scheme, then the wait to be matched and I'm dreading being out on long protocol as I'm horrendous with PMT - I don't know how DH and I will cope? Ha.

So it goes quickly once you start? I so hope so, I'm getting a little desperate with the waiting, I can't seem to focus on anything else. Hope our ET goes well tomorrow.

At the moment (very early in the process) I don't see the eggs I'll be donating as mine. I was talking to a friend who had almost gone down this route (got a natural BFP), who, as we talked asked, "wouldn't you want to know about your baby?"

I had no twinge, no emotional longing/pain/pang whatever you would call it when I replied, "but it wouldn't be my baby." And it really wouldn't, the woman who carried and loved that baby from the moment the embryo was transferred is that child's mummy, its her baby no matter who's egg it is. All that love is such a massive investment that I have had no part in. 

Also if DH's SSR hadn't worked we would have used donor sperm (I think, didn't get to the stage where I had to fully decide). There seems to be less of a taboo over using donor sperm than eggs. Strange, maybe its because often its the father who leaves or doesn't mind expending sperm here and there but we seem to feel its a big shock to donate eggs or use donor eggs when you need both to make the desired for baby and its not always the man who jumps ship.

Man I'm rambling, anyway thank you for this thread its helped me think about things a little more.

Thanks

Beth xx


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## incywincy (Nov 13, 2011)

I used donor sperm so I think that helps me with donating too, it's like giving back what someone's done for me.

Don't worry too much about long protocol - I'm a complete cow with PMT and my DW was dreading it but I was okay, completely calm.  Had bad headaches, but no mood swings.  On my cycle buddies thread I haven't read of a lot of women having mood swings, so you might not react in that way.

I got really desperate with waiting, I didn't realise it would take so long, I was reading accounts of people from other clinics who got matched within a week from being accepted.  But my clinic has a lot of donors so it's us who end up waiting, not the recipients and from first consultation at the clinic to getting matched was 3 months.  It doesn't seem to be that long in other places (I'm at Care).  I know what you mean about not being able to focus on anything else though, I drove myself mad with it all.

I hope it moves a bit faster for you!


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## Bemy (Mar 2, 2013)

Argh! 3 months - yikes! Well I think I'll just have to get used to waiting eh?!

Are you at care manchester? 

I do think having to use or the posibility to use a donor makes you see things from the other perspective helps you come to terms with/understand fully what it means to be a donor, but I'm jumping the gun, I'm not even there yet!

Thanks for the info incywincy; I shall now be practising patience in an endeavour to keep relatively sane. Ha ha. Thanks again.

Beth x


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## incywincy (Nov 13, 2011)

Yeah I'm at care Manchester. I see from your diary you're at mfs. The waiting times they've told you fit in with the 3 months I mentioned. In those three months you do your blood tests and counselling and see the doctor so it is padded out with a few steps along the way to break the wait up. 

Just to say from your diary, Omg that wedding! How you survived that! Good job you're still at the stage of being allowed alcohol, imagine getting through that sober! Think you did really well.


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## Bemy (Mar 2, 2013)

Incywincy thank you for the heads up on what to expect, I feel so ignorant.

Ha ha I know, that wedding was a trial but alcohol and DH got me through, sooooo many babies and pregnant people though. Ridiculous. 

So have you had your embryo transferred now? Are you on your 2ww?

Beth xx


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## incywincy (Nov 13, 2011)

Everyone is ignorant to start, that's what we're all here for, to help each other out!  This website has been a mine of information for me, couldn't have done it without it, I learned pretty much everything I need to know here.

Yep, embryo on board, in the 2ww.  Feel fine so far but am sure i'll be surgically attached to Dr. Google in a few days.


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## Bemy (Mar 2, 2013)

Dr Google, very dangerous! He he.

I hope you don't go too crazy on your 2ww, I can't even imagine how frustrating, exciting, scary it must be. Have you taken time off work? I'm a teacher so I'm really hoping that mine ties in with summer holidays, saves me taking time off, plus a lot of questions - especially if it doesn't work. 

Beth x


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## incywincy (Nov 13, 2011)

This site is teeming with teachers, I'm one too and there's loads on my cycle buddies thread!  I'm taking 2 weeks off but they don't know why.  Just 'medical reasons' and my sick note says I'm recovering from surgical procedure.  It's not too bad as I extract SEN kids for intervention programmes so they just aren't being extracted for a couple of weeks, no cover needed.  I'm lucky really as there's been very much no questions asked.

Seems like the timing might just work out for you actually, to land in the summer holidays, fingers crossed on that one!


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## Bemy (Mar 2, 2013)

Teachers everywhere. He he.

I'm a SEN teacher to but I work in a SEN school not mainstream. DH and I work in the same place so we've been a cover nightmare and I felt I had to tell the deputy head as we had to have afternoons off here and there, thankfully no body has actually asked us any questions yet. Only 3 people know what we're doing (was supposed to just be 2, but another lady eaves dropped and knows too -great). 

Enough about school. If you're looking for something to keep you occupied during your 2ww I recommend - if you haven't already -  watching 'game of thrones' I'm a little addicted. Got it on catch up yesterday and watched the whole first season, couldn't stop watching, had to force myself to go to bed at 12 (was supposed to have an early night). Sad I know, but its really good.

Are you going to be good and test before your OTD?


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