# can i be a surrogate for my friend.



## algrlsere (Jan 28, 2008)

Hi all, 

My best friend has had no luck with becoming a mother over the last 5 years due to complication after complication and as i have 2 young children of my own i have offered to be a straight surrogate for her as she is fantastic with my children and would love for her to experience first hand the joys of being a parent. My only concern is that as a single mother i am still on income support as my youngest is 3 months and dont plan to start work again till she is 2 so it would be ideal for me to do this before returning to work, would i be breaking any laws doing the surrogacy while still on income support? I am not getting paid apart from expenses needed to fulfill the pregnancy. Would really help having this cleared up as would hate to have to say i couldnt do it.

Thankyou

Leanne.


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Hi Leanne

You're certainly not breaking any laws by being a surrogate while on income support, but you do have to take a little care with the expenses payment.  There was a case where a surrogate was paid the expenses figure recommended by COTS, but it later transpired that she was on income support and so the figure paid was much too much (no loss of earnings to cover).  

It meant her intended parents had trouble getting a parental order (they did get one in the end after some difficulty), and the surrogate got into trouble for benefits fraud because she hadn't declared the non-expenses payments as income to the benefits agency.

I would recommend legal advice for you and your intended parents to make absolutely sure you don't fall into the same difficulties.  But as long as you tread with care, there shouldn't be any problem.

Natalie
[email protected]


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## algrlsere (Jan 28, 2008)

Hi natalie, 

Thankyou for the advice. Can i please ask how i go about informing income support. We intend to start in 2 months. 

Leanne.


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## algrlsere (Jan 28, 2008)

Hi lgft,

Hi can you tell me how CAFCASS get involved? We are doing this by private arrangement, not through any agency.
Congratulations on completing your journey. 
Thankyou, leanne


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## OD2 (Oct 1, 2007)

On a slightly different note, do remember that it's perfectly legitimate for your friend to reimburse you for some help around the house when you're pregnant and won't be able to cope so well and for and childcare to cover you when you have to be away for surrogacy-related reasons, or towards the end of your pregnancy when you'll need a bit more help.  It's also accepted good practice for the IPs to pay for a holiday after the pregnancy, for the family to recover together from the whole experience!!  So, my point is, don't make life too difficult for yourself because you're worrying about expenses - these genuine expenses are there to make sure that you and your family don't lose out as a result of helping someone else!

F


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## algrlsere (Jan 28, 2008)

Thanks F,

Good to know, i guess i just want to be careful seeing as on the income support so its good to know those extra things can be safely covered if needed. x

leanne


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,
Our surrogate was on Income support throughout her pregnancy with our daughter.
When she worked out her projected exspenses, at the beginning of our arrangement, she obviously didn't include loss of earnings, but did include things like help around the house, gardening etc.
During the pregnancy she was taken into hospital, pregnancy related, and her mother took time off work to look after our surrogates daughter. 
We then reimbursed her mother for loss of earnings, petrol to the hospital.
As others have said don't stress too much over exspenses. You should keep all your receipts just in case, but the CAFCAS officer only looked at two months worth in the end.
As for informing the Income Support people, I would wait until you are pregnant and receiving exspenses. It will only confuse them otherwise.
EJJB
  x


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Hiya

I imagine you don't need to say anything to the income support people as regards declaring income if you are only receiving expenses (it's not income).  What you need to take great care over is that you do approach the expenses as expenses - keep specific receipts etc and be clear what you are being paid for.  As others have said, you don't need to deprive yourself of proper expenses, but you do need to be able to show what your payments have covered.  In the case I mentioned, the surrogate just claimed the 'normal' global sum recommended by COTS and didn't consider that she shouldn't be claiming for loss of earnings and so an appropriate figure for her should be much less.

I have to say I'm not a benefits lawyer - does your entitlement change if you are pregnant and not seeking work?

Natalie


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