# Advice please - no intros LO possibly home in a week!!!!



## Mouseycat (Oct 25, 2011)

Hello
Advice please, we were told about a LO last week, just waiting for placement order, which should be this week. SW asked if we would be willing to take LO as soon as PO granted - long story but will stop another move for LO.
We've seen a form of CPR and medical report, not spoken to LO SW as they will be at court next week.
Work have been so good and agreed that I can leave next week, and go back for a few days to handover in the next few weeks.
Now that the shock has worn off (a bit anyway) we have loads of questions!!!!!
Is this happening too soon, what happens when intros do not happen, what can we expect, should we say it's happened too soon and that LO should go back to FC and we'll follow the usual procedure, meet relevant people, matching panel, intros, etc.
Feeling like we've missed out a bit, as we're frantically now trying to get items together rather than enjoying the build up and counting down the days, we're counting the hours!
Has anyone experienced this before or heard of it, any advice, tips would be most welcome.
MC


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## Belliboo (Dec 23, 2007)

Hi I have no experience of having no introductions but I would ask to at least meet the child once before they move to your home as it might be very strange for them to suddenly just move in but I'm no expert & of course a lot would depend on Lol age but I would ask as many questions as you can & maybe ask FC if you can have contact after the move so you can contact them if you need any advice & good luck with the move it's such an exciting time isn't it xx


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Hi MC
No experience either, but sounds like it might be for the best rather than another move. Wow very exciting!! But yes daunting and different from the norm. 
Very best of luck for you all xxx


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Hi mousey, we're in a similar situation except we're waiting for the court hearing in a couple of weeks. The court have to agree to "foster to adopt" at the same time as the placement order. If they do lo will move to us although sw has said there will be a few days of introductions although 2-3 at most. So it will be very fast. We will officially be fostering lo until going through the normal matching panel etc in the new year. Because we thought this may be happening we have bought a lot already so are pretty ready for it. 
I'm struggling with things like work etc, not that they're not being supportive etc just I'd like to know this is definitely happening and plan leaving date etc. it doesn't take long to sort out the things you need and I'm sure if you're anything like me will have a pretty good idea of what you want. 
It is daunting and nerve wracking but ultimately what's best for lo and I'm sure if you ask anyone else it's the time from being linked to placement they wish they could speed up! 
Good luck.


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## Mouseycat (Oct 25, 2011)

Thanks ladies 
Becs40 - that's exactly what's happening with us, we'd be fostering to adopt, luckily I have enough leave to cover until MP, I just worry that LO will be so disoriented coming to a strangers house.  Unfortunately the situation won't allow us to talk to the FC.  We feel exactly the same, we still don't know if this will be happening, but having to plan as if it is.
I think we will ask to meet LO, not sure how they can arrange it though, timescale are soooo tight, but we can ask.
Hopefully we'll get more info on LO during the week, which will help if he come to us, I'd like to know his routine and how he can be comforted.
Exciting but so stressed at the moment, we're both not sleeping properly which doesn't help with the thought process.
Thanks for replies, at lest there are others out there that know the exit,net,nerves and outright scariness of it all x


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Yep exactly mousey but overall huge excitement! How old is lo? Ours will be 4 months so I guess at that age the transition is easier and the reasons for wanting f2a now is because by the time they've done the hearing then matching panel we'd be into December as they have to have reports a minimum of 4 weeks before matching panel. Then they won't place in December so it would be intros in jan so would delay minimum of 3 months assuming all went to plan and no other unplanned delays. So the difference for lo between 4 and 7 months is pretty crucial.
My work have agreed to unpaid leave for me whilst fostering as likely to be after Xmas now because la don't feel the need to rush if already placed.


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## Mouseycat (Oct 25, 2011)

LO will be 15 months when placed, has had a couple of moves, hence LA not wanting another one for what could just end up a couple of months.  I'm led to believe that they will be rushing us to panel, as we cannot afford to be on unpaid for long.
Glad you could get unpaid leave, some companies not so helpful.  I had to go in on Friday and ask if I could leave in a weeks time, trying frantically now to plan a handover and what to tell the team  
Hey ho, we're going to take a day at a time, and hopefully go shopping on Wednesday and Thursday.
Let's keep everything crossed that it all goes ahead
MC


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Fingers crossed mousey, it will be amazing! It will give you less time to fret and stress about being ready. Have fun shopping!
Our plan is for me to leave work but figured I've worked for 25 years so deserve the adoption pay! So we'll do the unpaid bit but will get fostering allowance until matching panel. Then will revert to standard adoption leave.  It's so complicated trying to explain if to people as it's not normal course of events. 
We haven't and probably won't see medical as they don't do one until placement order is given by which time lo should already be moving to us. No health concerns so far though but too young to really tell.
Seriously even the next couple of weeks are a pain to us would definitely have it your way any day! Once the decision has been made you just want to get on with things. We have met lo's sw but didn't really gain any new info that hadn't already been covered in CPR so wouldn't worry too much about that. I'm sure there'll  be some sort of proper handover to you as even when changing fc's there would be a couple of days at least so you do find out about their routine etc?


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Awww I wish our LA would let us F2A from placement :-( we're waiting for our LO sibling.

Best of luck for this excitng time  yay


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Littlepoppy that's completely mad! That's exactly the situation they should be promoting f2a! Our sw said there's still quite a few sw's not on board with it all and they often have to work hard to persuade them. I hope it's at least quick for you.


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Absolutely becs let's get this baby with forever family ASAP! With waiting for dates etc that's 2 months they could have been home! 

X


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Beyond infuriating isn't it littlepoppy. It's supposed to be all about the child and yet in these instances it rarely is! We know f2a has it's risks but we're the adults and we have to make and accept our decisions whatever the outcome. If it truly is in the child's best interest then that should be the driving factor of the decisions.


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## Mouseycat (Oct 25, 2011)

Aw, littlepoppy , that is mad! As Becs49 says, I thought the f2a would be ideal in these situations, when are you likely to hear ?
Currently waiting to hear more this week, will keep you posted


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