# Donors - how do you feel about being contacted in the future by the child?



## Alotbsl (May 20, 2013)

Hello to all you lovely donors out there.

As a donor egg recipient myself, I am really interested to know how a donor feels about the possibility of the child/ recipient contacting you after 18 years?

My feelings are that If it is all successful for me, I would love to meet my donor just to thank her for what she did for me. 

Would love to know everyone's views on this.

Do you think it is different for egg sharers to altruistic donors?


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## Puglover1980 (Mar 7, 2013)

I wrote a really long reply to this and the damn thing wouldn't save.

To summarise, I am totally fine with the possibility. You have to complete so many tests, fill out so many forms and have counselling before you can embark on donating either altruistically or as part of a sharing programme that I can't imagine anyone doing it and _not_ being ok with the possibility. Obviously it's all an unknown at the moment as the law only changed in 2005 so no children born from donations since then have come of age yet. Still I've always felt that if a child born from my donation felt they wanted to meet me then that would be great. Complicated yes, but great. I completed the goodwill message and personal statement part of the Donor Information Form very much with these potential children in mind, and I thought about what I would want to know about my donor if I had been born from such a donation.

While the motivation for donating might be different for egg sharers and altruistic donors, I doubt the feelings on this matter would differ.

As an aside, I don't think the right to identifying information about a donor applies to the recipient, only any children born as a result of that donation once they turn 18. I know that some clinics will pass on a non-identifying message between recipient and donor (such as a thank you card), but unless you have used a known donor by choice I think the whole thing has to stay anonymous. I know my clinic would only provide me with very scant information about the outcome of my recipient's cycle and when I asked for further details (such as the number of frozen embryos she had) they wouldn't tell me.

I really hope it's successful for you. All the best. x


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

I'd really hope to hrs from them too.
So far I don't know if my recipient has been successful (last I heard they had some frosties).
If there was a choice I'd even prefer some kind of semi open arrangement where you can exchange messages before the child turns 18.
If I'd no intention of hearing from my bio offspring I wouldn't have egg shared x


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## Shy1 (Jan 11, 2014)

I donated eggs a few months ago and i know the recipient had a scan which showed one baby and has 2 frozen. I obviously went into it knowing that the child may contact when they are 18 and i feel ok about that, i have a 16yr old who is fully aware of what i've done and will tell my younger 2 when they are old enough. I know for my partner one of his worries was if the child comes knocking in 18years time but we will cross that bridge when and if it comes


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## Shy1 (Jan 11, 2014)

I didn't egg share, it was something i always thought about doing


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