# Decided 100% over adoption :)



## cohensmummy (Aug 24, 2011)

Hi ladies,

Well this is a me post so apologies in advance  

But I just had to share that the light bulb moment that as now happened for me and my husband and we are both feeling excited and very positive about our future.

After a rough start to the year (check signature) and thinking that not only could we no longer afford Ivf emotionally or financially we would go forward with our future plans to adopt. As we knew this would always be our route but we hoped Ivf would would work again give us baby no 2 and adoption would be child no 3 ( I know idealistic thoughts if only life was this simple) 

We decided not to rush straight in though as we where weighing up if to give Ivf a final attempt so we could say that we had moved on once we started adoption process.

Welllllllllll to cut a long story short my husband got made redundant about 6 weeks ago and was lucky to get into a job straight away so his redundancy is now sat smiling at us in the bank   there is enough there to do Ivf a couple of times BUT we no longer want to do it. I can't believe how strongly we feel and have realised doing the Ivf was for us and filling our needs where adoption is about the child and what we can offer him/ her.

I feel like the hugest weight as been lifted and that we can now say with all certainty that we know which path to take  

I spoke o or social worker and will be seeing her on 27th nov to speak about prep course 

So excited just wanted to share, thanks for reading xxxxx


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## KJB1978 (Nov 23, 2010)

Good Luck cohensmummy.  

We too had a similar "Lightning bolt" when we decided we wanted adoption even though we still had money for a few more goes of IVF and the relief was immense as you said.

Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly x


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

its a lovely feeling isnt it when you finally know its the right way forward  
good luck with your meeting on 27th


kj x


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## flickJ (Feb 9, 2012)

Hi Cohensmummy, I am so glad things have come together for you and you feel ready to move forward


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## Billybeans (Jun 16, 2012)

Hi Cohensmummy, I am so pleased you have made a decision. It's lovely to hear stories like this.
Good luck with the initial meet, let us know how you get on.


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## Keepingpositive4more (Sep 21, 2012)

We are having the lightning bolt at the minute and the weight off our shoulders is immense. No more putting our life on hold and existing but living. I feel like the chapter of our life of fertility treatment is over and we are excited about what the future holds, happy that it didn't involve me feeling like crap and my husband feeling helpless. So we are in it together, ready to face this journey.

Good luck cohens mummy on ur journey xxx


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## sevsxp (Oct 1, 2012)

Get post to read on a monday morning....all the positivity....

The moment we left IVF and start our adoption journey, our life changed for ever, we didnt realise how down the IVF "system" was making us....

Now we have a lovely 3yr boy, and a 9month old boy moving next week..... who thought we could be so happy....

Good luck...... xx


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## Zargus (Jan 9, 2012)

That "light bulb" moment is amazing isn't it.  Happened for me last night after months of uncertainty about whether to have another IVF cycle.  And DH and I equally as excited as you are.

Good luck with it.  We're likely having first home visit in January so be interesting to read your progress.


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## Anjelissa (Jan 11, 2007)

Hi cohensmummy,

I Just wanted to wish you lots of luck   

I think many of us can identify with that 'light bulb' moment, and the excitement then just grows doesn't it    

I hope your meeting went well yesterday.

Anj x


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## NP (Dec 4, 2010)

Hi ladies, 
just had failed cycle no 2 and really seriously thinking about adoption. It broke my heart seeing profiles on line so surreal! I wondered if there was any chance of adopting a baby if we waited longer. I know there are so many toddlers out there but desperate for us to have a baby of our own from the start  my heart is wrenching.  Do you think best to use third free ivf cycle prior to looking into adoption? X


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## KJB1978 (Nov 23, 2010)

Hi NP

Sorry about the 2nd fail.  It is terribly traumatic and I feel for you  .

If you have another cycle funded def take it if you feel up for it as you sound like you want to and it would always be a what if in my mind.  

You need to be happy (well as happy as you can be) when you have finished your fertility journey and start on the adoption one as you will be made to talk about it a LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT and they can tell if you have unresolved issues with it from my experience.  From my experience it is not an easy road and you have a lot of waiting, biting your tongue and frustration but I also found it very interesting, challenging and we learnt a lot about ourselves.

Our LA have never placed a child under 5 months and I believe it is very uncommon to do so.  The last lot of stats I read said that 0.5% of all adoptee's get a child under 1 so you must also bare that in mind if you only want a teeny weeny baby. 

Have you been to any adoption evenings to get a better understanding?

K


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## Zargus (Jan 9, 2012)

NP - in your position if I'd have had the chance of a third cycle I would definitely have taken it.  You sound like you want a baby and it might be your only chance because as KJB1978 says the chances of adopting a teeny baby are incredibly slim.  

In any case, you almost certainly will have to wait at least 6 months from your IVF treatment before starting the adoption process.  At the time of my 2nd failed cycle, I thought I was ready and when I was told I'd have to wait was a bit annoyed.  But in hindsight I know that you really do have to take the time to fully come to terms with not being able to have a child of your own.  I feel in a totally different place now and I am happy with who I am and the path we are now on.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

x


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