# Surrogacy UK - COTS feedback needed



## P&amp;S (Sep 19, 2010)

Hi
we are a gay couple and looking to move forward with surrogacy. We were advised to join COTS or Surrogacy UK to find a surrogate mother. However their admin fees are quite expensive, so before signing up, could anyone let us know if this is worth it? if anybody was successful and how long it took to find a surrogate mother.  Thanks a lot for your help 
P&S


----------



## snagglepat (Sep 13, 2004)

Hi P&S,

I'm afraid I don't have much to offer you other than to suggest you check with each organisation whether they have much experience of working with gay male couples and how successful any couples that have signed up with them have been at finding a surrogate. I looked into this a few years ago, before we became pregnant with our first as I was considering becoming a surrogate myself after our family was complete. I knew I'd have much preferred to do this for a gay male couple but at the time neither organisation were particularly supportive of gay partnerships. The reason seemed to be due to the legalities of transferring parental responsibility after the birth. I know things have changed in that regard in recent years for us lesbians, so I imagine they might have for gay dads too, but you might want to check.  

Good luck with your search!

Gina.


----------



## nismat (Mar 7, 2005)

Hi P&S, I went to a surrogacy workshop at the Alternative Families Show last year, and there were a number of gay male couples who had gone this route (in the UK) - successfully! The problem is that there is such a shortage of surrogates overall in the UK, and of that limited number, there will realistically only be a relative few who want to work with a gay male couple (whatever the reasons). There was a lovely woman there who had been a surrogate for at least 2 gay male couples already though; I can't remember which agency she was with. I think that often people tend to end up going to other countries, as it can be an "easier" route (particularly in terms of things actually getting started).

Have you read Stonewall's downloadable guide for gay men wanting to be fathers? There are a couple of stories of UK surrogacy in there. Stonewall may well be able to put you in touch with other gay men looking to become parents through surrogacy (whether in the UK or abroad).

There really really needs to be a website for UK gay men wanting to become parents through surrogacy - as far as I know, there isn't one.

I would definitely agree with Gina though, give the UK agencies a call to get a realistic picture from them, it wouldn't be sensible for _anyone_ to sign up with them without getting some idea of the true picture!

BTW, Barrie Drewitt-Barlow (yes, the infamous surrogate gay dad of 5 with his partner Tony) was due to launch the British Surrogacy Agency earlier this year, but nothing's showing up on Google as having happened yet.


----------



## P&amp;S (Sep 19, 2010)

Hi
I heard about the British Surrogacy agency but can't find anything.. so I assume they haven't yet started it. I will try to call COTS and Surrogacy UK to see what they say about the lead-time. I just don't feel like paying 600£ just like that without som knowledge about them really. We have just started our journey to surrogacy and it looks like it is going to be a long one!


----------

