# Warbabes Journey to Adoption



## warbabe

Where do I start? I suppose how I ended up here. 
In brief then like many other couples I had a dream or life plan of marrying the man of my dreams, having a family and growing old together. Doing all the family things you see others doing, trips to the park/zoo, first day at school, birthday parties, marriage, grandkids etc...just like how I had grown up with my sisters. Well things always don't go to plan, and years later after all the heartache of fertility treatment and no children the same dream is there to have a family. 

The Journey so Far to Adoption
Well having spent hours/days, well weeks on here reading and digesting all the information, and numerous other website I took the plunge and contacted two local LA's. After having a chat over the phone LA no 1 wrote and said they required a 6 month break from fertility treatment and can't take it any further till then (That will be June 09). 
LA no 2 sent through some details and we returned a completed form. 

Unfortunately after this my mum was taken ill and rushed to hospital and then needed an operation, so my mind was taken off adoption for a while. 

However last week I received a letter from LA no 1, saying they hadn't heard from us, and were we not interested. I wrote and said that their previous letter said we needed to wait 6 months from fertility treatment, but yes we are interested. I completed a form and had a letter at the weekend to say we are on the list for an Open Evening on 1st April.
Anyway when I realised it had been 4 weeks and still not heard from LA no 2 I e-mailed to check if they had received our form and today had a message on the phone to say they would like to arrange a visit. OMG, excited and now nervous at the same time. After what I have read on here I'll be redecorating and cleaning from now until the visit. Will phone tomorrow and arrange it. Will have to see what they say about fertility treatment, although I told her over the phone she didn't asked when my last treatment was.

Prep Completed:
This website and all the others mentioned on here (hours and hours of time)
Read the book 'An Adoption Diary'
Looked at course on First Aid and Child Psychology but not booked any yet
...oh gosh, doesn't feel like much I'm worried now.

Next Steps:
Phone LA no 2 to arrange visit
1st Visit by SW on xx/xx/xx (Remember to check about timings of prep course - initially told March and September, so in for a wait if still correct)
Attend Open Evening on 1st April for LA no1 if still not had visit by LA no 2 or even if we had but there would be a long wait for a prep course

That's all for now...


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## Carol 36

Hiya Warbabe

Welcome to fertility friends, friends being the operative word. The ladies you will chat to hear, will be everything you could wish for in a friendship, honest, supportive, great for a chat, moan or advice.

I wish you every success with your journey and look forward to hearing about your journey.

 
Carol
xx


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## mavis

Hi WB,

Welcome to the adoption thread! as Carol says you will be very welcome here.

Sounds like you are doing great guns already.

Dont overload yourselves with stuff but you are right to make prepartions and do a bit of a homework it alwasy goes down a treat with SS.

Yep you got it on the mad cleaning front!!! we are nuts   cuckooooooooooooooo

I'd say you have doen loads for your prep.  

Not long now till open evening I loved our one and we had speakers there etc and you got to go round and ask Sw questiosn and have a general nose about.

Good Luck with your journey and look forward to sharing it wiht you too.

Why dont you join us on the virgins thread too.

lots of love,

mavis x


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## warbabe

*Update: We have our first visit from LA 2 on Monday 30th March, OMG only 18 Days to go. * 

I'll be soo nervous, but going to try and not stress already. Now wondering how we can prepare, what questions will she ask that we should have already thought about etc... I'll have to do some research on here/other sites to see what others have said.

Also what should we ask, I'm sure there are loads of questions but can't think of one at the moment....argh!!!!

Thanks for the welcomes Mavis and Carol. I did join the virgins thread a while ago around page 46 ish, but haven't been on here for a few weeks whilst my mum was ill and so have a lot of reading and catching up to do. It moves so quickly, but will be back on soon since will be needing some advice!!


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## mavis

Hi WB,

Great news on the date.

Sorry I thought I recognised your name from somewhere! now I know.

The main thing they come and talk to you about the process and why you are hoping to adopt what has made you come to this decision maybe a bit about both of you.  When they ask these things and talk you could ask some questions around this.

OOOh great news, Good Luck x

lots of love,

mavis x


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## warbabe

I've just bought a couple of books off Amazon, one of them is "Big Steps for Little People-Parenting Your Adoptive Child". Just wished I had it for my train journey's with work this week since lots of travelling to do.

I've been looking at wallpaper to re-decorate this weekend before our intitial visit. Worried I'm getting carried away now, since only decorated every room 2/3 years ago so no desperate need. Even worried about our open staircase, which obviously we would put a banister in to make child friendly but do I need to get it done in next week?? Will the SW think we are not ready, just because of a lack of a banister...arghhhhh??

Also got details of Open Evening today for LA1.


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## Carol 36

Hiya

Stop stressing the first visit the SW did not even leave the lounge to have a nosey round, so don't panic hon. 

xx


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## warbabe

Well we have got our first visit tomorrow. In the end I didn't do any redecorating, and feel surprising relaxed about the whole thing. 

DH did the cleaning on his day off on Friday, and we both did the gardens today in the sun, and that is it. Haven't even bought any biscuits (opps!)... we don't have then in the house usually, so completely forgot. 

DH & I went out for Sunday lunch today and discussed the visit and types of questions they might ask, so feel prepared for the visit.

Will update tomorrow!

Warbabe


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## warbabe

Initial Visit

Well we had our first visit by the SW today. She was here about 1 hour 45 mins, and she talked for about 1 hour and half of it! 

Really, she just set off when she got in and talked throught the process non-stop. We asked a couple of questions along the way but mainly her talking about process. Then at the end she asked a few general questions about us, such as age, jobs a bit about our families, and thoughts on age/no of children we would like to adopt...but very brief. Even the question why we want to adopt, she answered for us to some extend and didn't probe. 

She did tell quite a positive story about adoption, and the types of children they place. So not at all changed our mind. The only negative thing was that the next prep group will be sometime around September to December, so we have a long wait ahead of us. 

We are going to go to the open day of the other LA this Wednesday and see if we can find out about when their prep groups might be before we phone back to say we want to proceed to next stage with todays LA.

Oh, nearly forgot the SW didn't look round the house after all the cleaning and never moved from the couch, she even didn't have a drink. 

Next update after Wednesday when we decide which LA to go with. 

Warbabe

Oh, and after the visit we went and bought a brand new car! What a day


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## Carol 36

Wow I cannot believe SW chatted for nearly all the visit!!! Ours was straight in with loads of questions.

Good luck with LA open night, take some tissues!!!

Ahh a brand new car, hope it gona be a luck family car for you soon
xx


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## warbabe

Oh it's all getting confusing now. So we have had a visit from LA2 on Monday and last night went to an open evening by LA1. 

The open evening wasn't at all what I expected. It was quite a small room with some chairs placed in a semi circle. There were 6 couples and one single lady there, and this might sound odd/wrong, but they all looked normal and just like us. I really don't know what I expected, I think I thought there might be quite few older than us, but they all looked of similar age ish. 

Well the evening was just a powerpoint presentation and video. I didn't learn anything new, but what I went for was to understand when their next prep groups were. Well the next one is May, and then November. This LA were quite strict about the 6 month wait from treatment, which would be June, so very much doubt we would get on the May prep course. 

So I think this leaves us with LA2 and a long wait. My worry now is that they said their prep groups would be in September, and we have a holiday booked in September. What if it falls on same date and can't go. This would mean a 12 month wait until next ones.

What was interesting was the differences between the 2 LA's that are geographically next to each other. One does pay for the medicals and the other doesn't. The prep groups at one are 3 consecutive days, and at the other is 2 days one week and then 2 days the following week. 

Right need to speak to both LA's now and decide what to do and make decision which we go with.


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## warbabe

Decision Time on Who to Go With

Phoned LA1 to check about the May prep groups to see if there would be any possibility of us getting on them, and there isn't as they are already full up. So that's the decision made and it leaves us with LA2.

I have e-mailed the SW today saying we would like to proceed to the next stage i.e. prep groups. 
When she came for the initial visit, she did say there is the possibility that we can attend the prep groups of neighbouring LA's if we didn't want to wait. So I have advised that we would like to consider this, since don't want the risk of them being arranged in September when we are on holiday and then having to wait a whole year for the next ones.

The down side to this would be we wouldn't meet the SW who would be doing our Home Study on the groups, but same could be said if went with own LA. Also that there might be a wait for the Homestudy since theirs commence after prep groups in September/October. This I don't mind.

We'll see what she says, but I'm not holding out much hope. So might not have many more updates until last quarter of the year on this diary.

Warbabe


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## mavis

Hi WB,

The decision is made then, phew!

Hope you hear back from LA2 soon.

We never met our SW till we started HS I think it is quite common, although some did get SW off preps!

Good Luck wiht it all.

Mavis x


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## warbabe

Thanks Mavis!

I've had a reply to my e-mail from the SW today, but she didn't acknowledge the request to go to the next stage or answer any questions about other LA prep groups but just requested some additional dates e.g. date we got married ... 

Hey at least I got a response. I'll ask again what happens now when I respond to her request. I don't want to keep mythering her if nothing might happen now for weeks/months.

Warbabe


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## mavis

Hi WB,

That's great news, there is life out there!

Good on you.

Hope you get soem more info back,

love, mavis x


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## warbabe

* IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY...OMG I'M 35!!! * ​
Why aren't they as exciting as they were when you are a kid?  It's just another day at work, but we are going out for a meal tonight. 

Anyway onto Adoption since it is an adoption dairy after all.

We got a reply from the SW yesterday to say we are now one of 3 couple waiting for the next Prep Course in September. She did ask when our holidays were in September which we have told her. Don't know if this means they will arrange the dates for the course around us? 
Would be good if they can aviod our hols, since don't want a 12 month wait, and will then be back to looking potentially at any VA's. 

That's all for now!


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## JoJoSa3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

35? That's positively spring chicken!!!

JJ


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## mavis

Hey WB,

*Happy Birthday* to you, Taurus 

Other than being at work hope you have done somethign nice.

Glad to hear you have heard back about preps, did they indoctae when they woudl let you know?

lots of love,

mavis x


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