# Dh company want to relocate to Switzerland! :(



## sparkle2811 (Apr 30, 2011)

I'm so up set, out of the blue my dh company wants to relocate to Switzerland. Haven't told our sw yet as its only just been announced and we decided to wait until we can see her face to face on Wednesday next week. I'm so gutted, I feel like we've lost a baby. We only had 3 or 4 weeks left of home study. We were going to discuss what children we though we could take on. 

I'm dreading telling her, I feel like we've let them down. My poor dh is desperately looking for jobs in the uk but if he doesn't hear anything by may I think we'll have to go. Leaving a job I love, my friends and my family


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi

How soon are they expecting to relocate?  I was made redundant due to the company relocating 200 miles away and being a Mum of 2 young children there was no way I could move or commute but even after a year the company has only part moved, it is going to take a couple of years in total to get the whole company relocated.  

Definitely be honest with your SW but stress that he is looking for a new job and you are doing everything you can to stay in the UK.  Though if you don't have timescales involved from his company yet I would get the facts first.  Unless they have had major planning going on in the background for a while I can't see a company able to move to another country that quickly.

Good luck
OT x


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## sparkle2811 (Apr 30, 2011)

Hi, unfortunately they want everyone over by may. Everyone is arguing for August so children can finish the school year. I'm a teacher so I'd want to finish the year. The company is being really harsh about this and said may or take redundancy. Discussions are still going on about this. I'm dreading telling our social worker, I know I'm going to cry. I'm sure they'll put our application on hold till we know whats happening, which I know is sensible. I just felt we were almost there.


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## Ally Wally (Mar 1, 2011)

Hi Sparkle... I agree with old timer.... Check out the timescales first. These things take a long time to put into practice.  My dh was told he would have to re-locate just as our home study was starting last year Oct (admittedly not as far as Switzerland but still a devastating blow which involved commuting) We decided to tell our sw as didn't want to be caught hiding anything but that was October last year and he is only due to start commuting next month. They decided to continue with our assessment until the facts and timescales were more definite and then make a decision on how to proceed. They did also threaten to put us on hold until things had settled down but for now they are taking it session by session.  Is there anyone in his company he can approach to talk about things. We both work for the same company and when they found out we were hoping to adopt they offered to do whatever it takes to help us achieve our family. I was amazed by the support they gave us. 

I think the main thing here is to have all your facts and possible options straight and ready for the sw when you do decide to tell her. To show her that you are approaching this in a calm and logical manner (rather than running around in a flat spin which we were deep down inside!)

Anyhoo.... Hopes this helps. Totally feel for you. Xx


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## Ally Wally (Mar 1, 2011)

Sorry just saw you post re: the date in May. Would it be financially possible for him to take redundancy and be the stay at home dad while you continue to work and he looks for another job?


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## sparkle2811 (Apr 30, 2011)

Thanks for your replies. 

I only work 2 days as we have a 3 year old that took us 3 years of fertility treatment to get and she nearly died at birth. I just want to make the most of her but even if I went full time, which I couldn't do at the school I'm at, we still couldn't afford the mortgage. My dh has only been with the company 3 years so his redundancy package would be rubbish. I'm just hoping he can find something else.


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## Ally Wally (Mar 1, 2011)

Ah ok... I agree... Not ideal. I guess it depends on the probability of your dh finding work locally in the near future. If this is unlikely (which was the case in our situation) and i may be grasping at straws here but would he be able to negotiate a 4 day week working in Switzerland and home on the weekend until he finds something closer. I can't imagine too many employees would be wiling to relocate so far so easily so they may consider this? 

As I am sure you know, the SW's do not like instability so it's better this is happening now with time to sort through things rather than just before matching panel etc. plus this is a good time of year to be looking for work so I am sure he will find something. Hang in there...


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

If you do end up moving to Switzerland I would hope they give him a good boost in salary! I know most expats who live in Switzerland and who want to adopt end up adopting internationally.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

I am so sorry that sucks  . Wish I was saying something helpful or productive but it's been a day of rubbish news for some of the ladies I can about on here and it just makes me mad. We have been through enough and don't need these things. I'd be tempted to egg your DH's MD's car or something might make you feel a little better (only joking obviously.) 

On a serious note be honest I think. SW's tend to get nervous about secrets. I think maybe sob while telling her pile on a bit of emotional blackmail see if they will continue for now. I really hope your DH finds something x x


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## sparkle2811 (Apr 30, 2011)

Hi, 

Thanks everyone, I just can't believe how harsh the company are being. My dh already works 4 days in Europe and one day from home and it makes no difference where he's based as to how he does his job but they've just sain no and we've got to move or he leaves. 

We're definitely telling our sw, this is something we certainly can't hide even if we wanted to, my dh just feels we should do it face to face on Wednesday. I can't believe how close to finishing we were and now this. 

Thank you for all your lovely words, I'm hoping that if they put us on hold we'll be able to start again soon.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

I agree face to face you can't emotionally blackmail people over the phone x


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## sparkle2811 (Apr 30, 2011)

Well our application is on hold :-( so its all stop for us until we get settled again :-(


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

I am so sorry that is awful. I really hope your husband finds something soon x x


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## Ally Wally (Mar 1, 2011)

hi sparkle...i am so sorry to hear this. i really hope it all works out soon. please keep us updated with your situation. it might be that your perfect little one is not quite ready yet and so life has a funny way of interfering with timings to make it all happen. 
xx


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

I would agree with ally wally
As much as this us disappointing for you just now - try and think of it more as a wee hold up as fate is aligning things.
Fingers crossed for u x x


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## sparkle2811 (Apr 30, 2011)

Thanks guys, I'm trying to see it as fate but its just so rubbish. I don't know how a company can expect all its employees to up and move, dragging there families.


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## Ally Wally (Mar 1, 2011)

i know what you mean sparkle...our company did the same....ok, not quite switzerland but we were given the choice of 2 locations both far away which involves lengthy or weekly commuting. everyone was in outrage saying you can't possibly be doing this, expecting families to up and move but yep..they said move or leave! that's the sign of business today and we have subsequently lost alot of really good employees. i really hope your dh finds something else locally or you can work something out.


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