# sad news



## julie0203 (Oct 23, 2006)

Hi Ladies

Well as some of you may know i have one SIL about to give birth and another who 12weeks but unfortunately my brothers girlfriend who is 12weeks has been for her scan today and the baby has died   my brother is understandably devastated and i dont know what to do or say to him   he was over the moon when he found out she was pregnant .
how can life be so cruel! its as if life does not want children around me   im so angry that it chance has been takenaway from my brother i dont want them to hurt like they are  
Im close to my brother but feel like i dont know what to say (he is aware of mine and dh situation) i dont want him to think im patronising him when i say im really sorry ect .
i never thougt this would happen there both young and healthy and i know that dont make much diffrence but it just didnt even enter my mind  

Sorry about the rant ladies 

Julie xx


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## Rosie P (Nov 10, 2005)

Hi Julie. This also happened to me at my first scan, the baby had died yet I had no sign as I wasn't bleeding and had no pain. I really feel for them as I know exactly what they are going through. When you go for your first scan you just expect to come out with your picture like all the other ladies and everything to be ok - the last thing you expect is this. All you can do is give them all your love and support, and it will happen for them again one day. This also happened to my firend and is actually more common that we realise, as people tend not to talk about it. It will take them time to come to terms and move on emotionally, but the support of their families it will mean a lot to them.

Now I'm pg again I'm absolutely petrified of this happening again, but you just have to stay as relaxed and   as you can.

Sending lots of  

Rosie. xxx


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## julie0203 (Oct 23, 2006)

Hi Rosie

Thanks for the reply im sorry this has happened to you aswell i can but only imagine what it feels like   im sending you lots of  vibes for your pregnancy and congratulations .
I just thought as she has had no blededing ect we all thought it would be ok she now got to go into hospital to have everything removed im praying they will be ok  

Thanks for the support hun 

Julie xx


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## Rosie P (Nov 10, 2005)

Hi Julie. Thank you for your well wishes. 

Unfortunately this is how it happens sometimes, they call it a missed miscarriage. I asked the midwife a few weeks before my scan if I'd know if something was wrong - i.e. bleeding or whatever. She said yes, so I wasn't in any way prepared for the possibility of this happening as I'd never heard of it before. It is very sad, and she will obviously have become very attached to little bubbs like I had, which I think makes it even harder. I went for counselling after mine as I wasn't dealing with things very well, and one of my best friends and boss were due at the same time. It might help her too if she is still finding it hard to move forward in a couple of months or so, especially with the other member's of the family's pregnancies continuing.

Rosie. xxx


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Julie ..so sorry to hear your news hun   I went with a girl that I supervise at work to her scan with her first pregnancy as I got this sixth sense that I could not let her go on her own (her husband had man flu!) and I was so glad I did as her baby had died .. they did not tell her until I was in the room with her ..and it was utterly devastating, to give you some hope hun she has gone on to have a beautiful baby girl since then ..so there is always hope.. but if you need to talk about it cos you are feeling down just yell and we are here for you hun. 

All you can do for your brother and SIL is be there for them and encourage them to talk about it if it helps them.. as it is common that people think it should be not talked about ..but you have had the same hopes and dreams for that child ..even if it was only on this earth for a short amount of time as you would any child.. it was still as precious x thinking of you and sending you     to help you through this. 
Cat x


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## julie0203 (Oct 23, 2006)

hi thanks rosie and cat 

Well this week has been very up and down My brothers girlfriend is due to have her D&C on tuesday but they are coping well they know things happen for a reason and that they can always try again it does not mean this will happen again . As for my other SIL she gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy yesterday weighing 7pounds 4 at 1.58pm and did it all without any paint relief!!  so been very emotional , i just hope one day i will ever get as far as even being pregnant   

Hope you are all well xxx


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## flowerpot (Jan 20, 2005)

xxx


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