# I'm new...help would be appreciated :-)



## Bella29 (Dec 14, 2009)

Hello,

After several failed IVFs and years of emotional turmoil, my husband and I have been advised to look into surrogacy.

I've done some research and it would be host surrogacy as we have frozen embryos.

I have been provided with the names of two agencies from my fertility clinic - Surrogacy UK and Cots UK. Would anyone be able to provide any success stories of these agencies? Can you join both or just one?

Any help would be appreciated xx


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## pbgv1 (Feb 24, 2013)

Hi Bella,

You are able to join as many agencies as you like (there's also another one called Brilliant Beginnings) although I would always check to see if there are surrogates available.  We wanted to sign up with COTS last year but they didn't have any surrogates.  To be fair, they told us that from the outset.

Obviously, for each one you join there is a joining fee.
Good luck with your journey! 
Elaine x


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,
We had our daughter thanks to a surrogate we met through SUK 7 years ago.
We were also members of COTS but that didn't work out so well.
As far as numbers of surrogates is concerned that fluctuates but certainly new surrogates and IP's are joining all the time.
SUK works on a Friendship First basis it is not an agency, it's an organisation that promotes and supports surrogacy. Friendships are made and these may develop into an  offer from a surrogate. It's all about who you click with so there are no guarantees. You can meet other IP's and surrogates by attending the monthly socials in different parts of the country and get to know people through posting on the very busy message board.
Hope this helps.
Love 
EJJB
x


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## Bella29 (Dec 14, 2009)

Thank you so much for your replies! I really appreciate it. It's all very daunting at the moment xx


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## Rowan22 (Dec 29, 2008)

Hi,

We've been with COTS for the best part of two years now. So far, no success. They don't organise meet ups or anything like that (apart from the AGM) but there are forums you can join, to chat with other IPs or surrogates. The problem is that it seems to take an extremely long time before a surro becomes interested and it's depressing and disheartening to wait and wait and wait. We've more or less given up now, to be honest and we won't be renewing again (you have to renew your membership every year).

Having said that, there are people who joined round about the same time we did and they have found surrogates, so perhaps it's just us!  Anyway, this is how COTS works. The joining fee is about £800 or was when we joined. 

Rxx


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## clc_girly (Feb 1, 2006)

I'm with Cots as a gestational surrogate.  From my point of view they've been great and have provided information and help when needed and I receive regular phone calls to check all is ok.

Cots send profiles out to surrogates and SUK seem to depend more on social get togethers and forming friendships etc. It just depends on what is better for you.

Both have forums that you can access through their websites,  I found reading couple's journals really helped when deciding which couple to help. 

Good luck with your decision and the next part of your journey x


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## Rowan22 (Dec 29, 2008)

We do have a journal on the site and I did update it from time to time but after the first year I just got too discouraged. You can only sound bright and cheerful and optimistic, while wondering if anyone's ever going to choose you, for so long. I sometimes think the only real way to do surrogacy is go abroad, if you can afford it, as it's run as a business in places like India. You don't have to hothouse friendship and the clinics do everything for you. 
Good luck with whatever you decide to do, Bella. xx


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

Just want to add that SUk surrogates do also have access to all the profiles of waiting IP's so some chose their couple that way to.  I know social events aren't for everyone, but for me it felt like by attending socials and posting on the message boards at least we were doing something that might increase our chances of getting picked. It has also led to some really good life long friendships with other parents through surrogacy which is great for our daughter to be able to meet other surrogate children and was great for us getting some support while we were still waiting and when we were going through the process.
It is a personal choice but I feel uncomfortable with the ethics of going abroad so SUK was right for us.
Love 
EJJB
x


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