# Asking a family member to be a surrogate



## Jet (Jun 10, 2003)

Good afternoon ladies
After a long journey of infertility I am considering surrogate may be option for us I am a complete novice to this I am seriously considering asking my cousin to help us she has two children of her own. 
She does know we have been trying for a baby for many years but as never really gone into my history as I try not to talk about it.
I am nervous about bringing the subject up as I do not know how she will feel but I am 43 years time is running out for me any tips would be useful how to ask her... 
I have been researching some other agencies to to keep my options open. 
Many thanks
Jet


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

There was someone on here whose sister carried her baby, I think she was posting in the 'Uterine and cervical issues' thread.
Not sure how I'd go about approaching someone as a surrogate, I've heard more stories about the potential surrogate approaching the intended parents herself...x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

a family friend offered to help me but then pulled out when the clinic appts were made, I think you have to remember that IF and surrogacy itself is stressful and I admire the surro ladies who help as through COTS/SUK etc they have counselling and support for themselves and don't have the family ties to contend with either. I think it could be more difficult with family also if she has not offered and you raise it it may place her in an awkward position. all i say is tread carefully maybe have a conversation  with her about your situation and how you are thinking of trying to fund a surro and see what she says- 

L


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## Jet (Jun 10, 2003)

Thank you JJ and broody chick
You both have raised some good points I do agree with a family member it may cause some issues I had a wee chat with my mum she agreed tread very careful 
I have had a re think I will not ask my cousin I do not want to cause problems in the family.
Many thanks for replying to my post
Jet


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Pregnancy is unpleasant enough in many ways when it's your own kid, some people absolutely love it but your cousin may not be one of those people 
Best of luck with finding your gestational carrier, whether she's related or not xx


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