# IUI with vaginismus Part 7



## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Ne whome ladies, wishing you lots of luck & babydust 

  

Candy xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

thanks candy,  wishing you loads of luck with your pending arrival.
will we be seeing less of you once your litle one is born?

good luck and best wishes

Donna xx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Thanks Donna, at this stage I would like to think I will still have time, but I know the other IUI mums have posted about how hard it is ..... so will keep you posted  

Hope all is well with you x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Donna  - glad you enjoyed bms! The odd drink here or there won't do any harm - think of how many people get pg on drunken one night stands. I drank a bit too much yesterday too - some lovely sparkling wine  - and was also feeling a little frisky, but dh fell fast asleep the moment he lay down.   
We actually sort of managed sex this morning, but the d****d thing came out just at the crucial moment! This definately needs more practice. I'm on day 8 so have a few days to get to grips (no pun intended) with all this before bms time. I enjoyed the moments leading up to penetration, but then it feels like fun is over and we have to move into the hardwork stage. I'm concentrating so hard on what I have to do that I can't possible relax and enjoy it. I reckon it's like learning to drive ; I thought I'd never master that but somehow managed in the end.
I'm sure we'll get there one day............maybe.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

Emma, xxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Afternoon everyone,

Emma I know exactly what you mean about it being fun leading up to teh actual penetration I feel like that to and nearly always bring myself to orgasam before that stage just in case (sorry tmi) I really want to try and wait so that if possible I can orgasam around the same time as DH as I have heard this really helps when ttc.

Tried bms again last night but some how with Dh's broken arm just couldn't get into the right position it was all very awkward and in the end gave up, at the time I was really disappointed especailly as we had had such success in the morning, but giess it just wasn't ment to be last night. I am sure 'normal' couples having sex have there difficulties sometimes especailly if one of them has a broken arm! so I am not letting this defeat me and will be trying again later!

Didn't have serge on opk this morning so thinking I must be ovulating tomorrow (day 16)

I don't think the odd drink will do any harm at all being relaxed has got to help.
when we had IUI I stopped eating and drinking everything that I shouldn't it didn't help me get a BFP though so for the next few months I am trying to be more relxed about the whole thing if that doesn't help then I may think about eating or not eating certainthings again.
Plenty of people get pregant by accident or have worse diets than me!

Anyway its my birthday on saturday and I will be having a drink then, even though I will be in 2ww! I have spent to many birthdays or christmas's not drinking that this time round I am trying not to let ttc completly take over everything, we will see how long that lasts 

Polly hope your are relaxing?

Annie how are you?

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Its very quiet on here, feel like I am talking to myself! you guys obviously have weekends that far more packed then mine 

Can hear myself saying it all ready and really don't want to but maybe this will be my last birthday without a child! there I've said it now! lost the count of how many times I have said that though!

Bms was a success today, the problem last night was we weren't really that in the mood when we got started then we had the angle all wrong! anyway back on track now.

Can also hear myself saying maybe this time is the one! If its a BFN this time round it will be harder to take than the first time.
The first time as with IUI you don't really know what to expect or know what your doing and nobody really expects things to work first time do they.
Bms first time was uncomfortable, we only did it the minimum of times and weren't even sure we were doing it right so no surprise it was a BFN.
However, second time round as with IUI you are more familar with what is happening and see no reason why this time it might just work even though the odds are stacked against it. Bms this time round as been more enjoyable although still a chore at the start. we have managed it more times this months and feel a lot more confident about the whole thing so a BFN will be harder to take I think.
We took the second failed IUI attemt harder than the first.
sorry feel I am rambeling now hope it all made some kinda sense, I want to remain positive by thinking that this time it really could work but then cant help thinking that it takes soem people years adn the odds a stacked against us so by thinking positively I am just setting myself up for a fall!
oh what to do what to do!

Off to visit pa on hospital now

My check in later 

Hope you are all well, missing you all today

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again Donna,

I've been wanting to come on here all day but dh has been hogging the computer! I haven't been doing anything exciting at all, I'm afraid, but a very pleasant day nonetheless - walking the dogs, pottering in the garden and at the allotment, reading the papers etc. Dh is cooking now - yum, yum! I love cooking, but he is so much better at it than me.

I'm glad you had bms success today. It must be hard for your dh with his arm! I think we should try in the daytime, rather than wait for bedtime when it is too easy to fall asleep.   
Having said that I am planning bms practice tonight! I wish it would work easily so that I can just enjoy it. It still feels like such hard work! We used a new lube this morning - the KY warming jelly - and it was such a weird sensation! At the time I couldn't feel anything out of the ordinary but later, even though I'd had a shower, I could feel my insides kind of burning!

Donna, I've decided to give up the non-drinking too. I think a few glasses in moderation can't do much harm. I can't put everything in life on hold indefinately. I'm sticking to the no caffeine rule though. Supposedly now you shouldn't eat peas, beans or soya products around ovulation time. Typical! I've got masses of broad beans just ready for eating at the allotment. I'm going to eat them today and tomorrow then hold off until after ovulation just to be on the safe side.

Annie, Polly - hope you are OK.


Emma, xxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Everyone!

I have returned!!! I am absolutely knackered, so just another quickie I'm afraid. Kids were good as gold yesterday although the youngest had a bad cough and woke up at 3am. There were both then awake for 45mins. Eventually nodded back off til 7am!!! It's bloomin hard work looking after little ones. It's made me a bit more relaxed about it all. Not in such a rush to give up my lies ins just yet!

I'm thinking we might be due to do bms this week. Hope it's not the weekend as we've got friends coming to stay. Been feeling frisky again this arvo, but DH has gone out with the lads.  

I've got a chick flick on DVD ready to watch. Just going to go and get my p.j's on and settle down with my blankie.

Emma - I had never heard about not eating peas & beans during ovulation. To be honest I'm thinking botox to the lot of it. Everything in moderation as you say. Every other woman seems to manage it perfectly alright without drastic measures -why not us!?!?
Sounds like you've had a lovely relaxing weekend. Bms will start to work easily. It all just takes a bit of practice, like anything in life. I just had fun the other night and didn't worry too much about dh being in all the way or not. Felt like he might have been, but didn't bother to feel around and find out. It didn't seem to matter that time as it wasn't ov time and I just wanted to enjoy myself!!!!

Donna - I say that every occassion - "maybe this is my last Xmas, B.Day, Anniversary, Mothers Day, Fathers Day, Easter, Valentines" etc etc etc. Believe me - you're not alone. We all wish it hun.
Sounds like you've totally mastered bms now. I take my hat off to you! Wish I could have that level of success. Or maybe I do? I'm just never confident I'm doing it right! Definitely don't think we did it enough last month. Must do more this time.
How's your Pops doing? How much longer will he be in the hospital?

Polly - How are you doing?

Anyhoo - off to the chick flick for me. Speak to you tomorrow xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Glad I found you all again,

My dad is okish thank you think he will be in for atleast 2 weeks though. My dad had leukemia and had a transplant nearly 2 years ago, he is back in the same ward where he had his chemo and transplant, it felt reallt weird going back there. he now has shingles and has lost the top layer of skin on his tummy, side and back because of the tissue loss they are treating as if he had 3rd degree burns  anhyhow hope he will be out soon but unfortunatly looking like he will miss my brothers and my birthday.

Not sure I have complelty mastered bms, still worry that DH isn't in even though I know he is.
I ma totally all for everything in moderation, had peas with my roast tonight and I don't care as you said Annie others get pregnant without even thinking about it so why should all these different foods effect us.
Really hoping its time this time round  

Emma good luck with BMS, not sure about warming lube. do you think you will use it again?
so far I am managing to do it most of the time without lube but do need a lot of foreplay

Night to you all back to work tommorrow  

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning

Annie - welcome back! Glad you had a lovely, if tiring, weekend. I never went to Batman in the end; I'll wait for a rainy weekend.
When have you rescheduled your smear for?

Donna - sorry about your dad. I hope he's a bit better soon. If he can't be out for your birthday you should take your birthday to him!

The pea thing was in the news last week. Supposedly when sperm is exposed to peas it gets overexcited, moves around too much, and then dies. A third of the sperm died within an hour of being exposed to some chemical that is in peas, beans and soya (begins with G but I can't remember the name), whereas normally it can live for a few days. The people who did the study suggested that if you ate peas around ovulation time the G-chemical would be in your bloodstream and kill off the sperm. I know these things should be taken with a pinch of salt, but I'm not going to risk it! I normally eat lots of peas and beans, although not much soya. Mind you, I'm sure in the 1950s and '60s people ate nothing but peas and yet they somehow managed to reproduce. I had some broad beans with chilli and garlic last night though and they were delicious!

I am feeling quite frustrated today. We had another attempt at sex last night. yet again dh slipped out. Well actually I am so confused. I can't work out if he slipped out, and then ejaculated over the entrance, or whether actually it did work properly but was just rather shortlived. To me it felt like the semen was just at the entrance, whereas when we managed the bms last month I could kind of feel it inside. Mind you, then it was daytime and I was up and about so the leakage feeling was more obvious. Last night I just went to sleep afterwards. He definately was inside at some point. He wasn't even sure quite what happened, but thinks it slipped out. I feel so confused and ignorant. I don't know quite what is happening, or what I (or we) are doing wrong, and so I can't work out what we have to do differently for it to work. It feels like we're going one step forward and two steps back. It was all the more frustrating because the leadup to this attempt had been really, really nice, and I was actually relaxed and enjoying myself. I wasn't worried about what would happen next because I was naively thinking it would all be fine. We used next to no lube, so I don't think that was the problem. I'm worried that dh will give up wanting to try if it keeps being a disaster, although he says he won't. Also I'm on day 9 now, so we are coming up to bms time and it really has to work. I'm so impressed that you all seem to have mastered the art of sex, and wish I knew what the secret was!
Sorry to go on. I am seeing Dr Sex tomorrow, so I guess I can talk it through there.

Have a good Monday everyone.

Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh Emma - I feel exactly the same way. I don't often know if we've done it properly and if something went wrong what it was so I can try to fix it for next time. It is incredibly frustrating. I guess the only answer is practice.Although I'm getting too impatient and don't want to wait for it to work. I'm off for IUI!

I'm feeling really frustrated today. Increasingly of late I've been sat at work thinking there has to be more to life than this. Every day I trudge in here, sit down, listen to the same people moan about the same things, process the same work and I'm just a bit fed up with it all. I think I'm feeling a bit claustrophobic with it all at the moment and really want to give up work and bum around the world for a while. I feel like I need to do something more with my life than this everyday. I want to do something incredibly life changing, but it's not practical. Can't afford to give up work, can't go anywhere because of IUI. 

I feel trapped.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Annie,

It really helps to know that someone understands the frustrations of sex! I think I/we need Polly's expert advice! The rational part of me thinks I've waited 11 years for sex with dh (I'm embarrassed and ashamed writing that) why should a few more weeks make a difference? But the emotional part can't wait any longer. I am the kind of person who goes crazy when I fail at something, and I beat myself up over it. My instinct is to give up and pretend that whatever it was wasn't important to me, but sex is so important now (for its own sake and for ttc) that I can't do that. This goal is so near yet seems completely unattainable at the same time. It is so silly really, as this time last year I couldn't manage to insert anything at all and never imagined I'd be able to. The only real obstacle in the way of having sex is me, and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing wrong or what I could do differently. I feel really angry with myself and wish I could have a different body and mind that functions properly. Sorry, I'm being such a miserable b****r today! 

Annie, how you feel about work sounds like how I felt a few years ago after years in the same job. Is it because the life changing thing that you want is a child, or do you think that you need a change of direction at work too? What I'm wondering is whether if you were to get pg soon would you still feel discontented with your job? I guess once that happens you can't change jobs immediately because of maternity leave/pay etc. Is it feasible for you to reduce your hours a little so you have time to do something else? 

Do you feel, like me, that your life is on hold because of the problems and all-consuming nature of ttc? I wish that if I was never going to have a child someone could tell me now so that I could come up with a plan B for my life! Much as I enjoy each (or most) day, when I look at the grand scheme of things it seems so aimless. I wish I could do something to make a difference to the world and help people, but I don't know how or what!
Sorry, I keep rambling on about me.

Having decided that I would hold off from IUI for a while, I'm now wondering whether to forget IUI and go straight for ICSI? It is all too much today. 

Take care, and come back here and let it all out!
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma, what would I do without you. I am sat here reading your note and nodding my head frantically and saying "hell yeah" & "me too" You've absolutely read my mind. You've just described everything I am feeling perfectly.I give up and pretend it doesn't matter when things don't go my way. I will beat myself relentlessy over things and absolutely hate not being able to do something.

I sometimes wish I could strap a little camera to myself somewhere in the vicinity of you know where so I can look back after and see what's going on! It's not the easiest job trying to have fun, relax and have a look at what's going on down there + try and feel "is he in?" i just need someone to take a look and say "yep, you're doing it perfectly". I need some reassurance!

I do need to have a change in job. I wish I could do something more worth while that'll make a difference to someone's life. I work for one of the best companies in the U.K, but it's not enough anymore. I'm hoping for a huge windfall so I can afford to stay at home and do lots of charity work..... Or total flip side. I'd love to own/work in a bookshop come tea room type place. Somewhere that has big cosy sofas inside for the winter and lovely tables and chairs outside for the summer. In a really quaint but busy location. Have authors come in and do readings, especially for little people.That's the dream anyway. Who knows the lottery might come up one day!

But am I feeling like this simply because I'm not getting what I want and my answer is always to try and find something new to take my mind off it

I do think that that if I was to become pg I'd feel very differently about this job. In the first instance it would be enough to know that I would be leaving fairly soon for a long period of time and then I'd only work part time and could do lots of other nice things.Part time or reduced hours is not an option for us at the moment. We need the pennies to fund the extension!!! If only I didn't like the finer things in life!

It does feel like my life is on hold while we wait to see what happens and I do wish someone could tell me if it's ever going to happen for us. It is still very early days for us all but I guess cause of years of vag problems it's been a long road already for everybody. When I think of all those years of IVF my friend went through I still feel like I might be light years away from the dream.

You're not being miserble Emma, not at all. I'm so glad we've had this chat today. I feel so much better knowing I'm not alone in these thoughts.

Thanks xxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Annie, I feel so lucky to have met you. I don't know what I'd do without you too! Much as I'm sorry that anyone else has to go through this vag c**p, it means so much to know that other people understand what I'm feeling. Dh, bless him, tries but sometimes just doesn't quite get it.

The more I've thought about it today, the more I feel that I really want to do something useful with my life. I'm sure that I could be brilliant at something, if only I could find the right something! Like you, maybe I just want a change to detract from the real issues that are bugging me.

There was a TV programme a while back where couple who had problems with their sex lives had experts tell them what they were doing wrong. I never actually saw it, but I think they had to film themselves and then the experts would watch and give feedback. At the time I thought why would anyone in their right mind subject themselves to this, but now it is almost tempting (apart from the fact that friends and family would see you on TV). I wish someone could observe dh and I and advise us! When I first started seeing Dr Sex I was terrified that she'd say dh had to come along and that she'd make us attempt sex on the couch to see what happened! Somehow or other we have to figure it out ourselves.

Got to go now, but I'll try and check in later. Take care petal,
Emma, xxxxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

I took out all of my frustrations on the stairs this afternoon by stripping off the paint. I have to go on a mega decorating spree next week in preparation for putting the house on the market. We've only been here for 3 years and have already decorated it all once, but dogs are very good at destroying paintwork. I also cleared out one corner of the sitting room, and now it loks all empty and weird. We have too many books and CDs, butdh and I can't agree on which to get rid of.
I'm seeing Dr Sex tomorrow. Part of me is really looking forward to it, because I really need to talk though stuff with her, but I'm also so scared. I just know I'm going to cry and make a fool of myself yet again. I also wanted another go at this sex lark tonight, but dh is working very late so it seems unlikely. Tomorrow we move into the bms zone, for what it is worth.......

Hope you are all OK.
Got to go now. Sweet dreams everyone,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi ladies,

I always miss out on your chats!

I have no where near mastered sex, far from it! Once again we just couldn't do ealrier this evening! just couldn't get it! I blamed DH and we ahve been digging at each other ever since! 
Thing is its not even the sex that bothers although the feelings of being some kinda freak are all flooding back! We had got used to the fact that we might never have sex so it diesn't bother us for sex reasons its all about ttc, if that makes sense!
So everytime we fail its like another month I wont be pregnant, and I just can't take it anymore. A close friend of mine suggested that we just enjoy sex for a while, learn about each otheres bodies etc take our time and pregnancy will come! I have been trying already for 2 bl***y years and its ok for her to say realx and enjoy the sex when she is f***ing 6 months pregnant!
sorry I don't even know if my rambelings make sense I just want to be pregnant so badly! I want a family of my own, I want to look  into my babies eyes and see its unconditional love for me.

work is pants at the mo! I am really ebjoying it and it is keeping em very busy but can't help feeling they are taking the p*** ou tof me! Dad is hospital! brother got taken to hospital today as he has started to self harm, but I don't know why! and what kind of sister does it make me if he can't come to me!
Dh is off work and although we are making a conpensation claim that doesn't help us make ends meet now does it! we already had more going out than coming in and now we are only on 1 wage!
When I read all that I suppose its lucky I am not pregnant with all that going on!#I don't seem to have anytime for anything! I am working 8-6 but still never seem to get anything done!

Sorry to come on here and moan but everything is too much at the mo.
Thought I had finally mastered sex but no! there are just more and more problems. DH and I seem to be arguing cause of all the stress of everything not just sex! WHY CAN'T I BE NOMAL!

 

Night all Donna xx

sorry I will try and be more incontrol tommorrow.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Donna, you poor thing.   You have so much on your plate at the moment, I really don't know how you cope. If you are working from 8 to 6, plus travelling time, I'm not surprised you never have time for anything else. My view is that you are under so much stress at work and with your family and your body reflects that; perhaps it is just too tense to have sex.

I'm sorry about your  brother, but you can't blame youself for this. Has he done it before? 

What your friend (the 6 month pg one) said about sex is what Dr Sex has said to me, and they just don't get it do they? I feel that if I were to get pg then I can focus on enjoying sex because the pressure is off. It wouldn't be so desperately urgent for it to 'work' on certain days of the month. I have roughly 10 years for childbearing, but I have the whole of the rest of my life for sex, so it is obvious to me which should take priority. I would love to have 3 children, although getting just 1 seems impossible at the moment.  It is all very well people telling you to just enjoy sex, as though you've somehow taken the decision not to enjoy it.

Donna, you are such a strong and determined person that you will get through this, even if things feel completely out of control at the moment. Try not to beat yourself up over the unsuccessful bms yesterday. You have already had a few goes this month haven't you? When do/did you ovulate?


Annie, Polly - how are you today?

I'm so scared at the thought of seeing Dr Sex today. It is so silly, because she is lovely really, but she has a knack of probing all my weak points (but I guess that's what she's there for). I'm sure if I could talk to her just as a friend over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine sitting in comfy armchairs it would be far more successful. Something about being shut in a horrible hospital room with a doctor makes me feel like such a freak.

More paint stripping for me this morning.
Take care everyone, we will all get through this together!
Emma, xxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Boy do I need your advice today everyone. I have a huge dilemma, but we'll get to that in a minute.

First things first...

Donna - It'll all be alright hun, although you have a huge amount on your plate at the moment it will get better. Your brothers self harming is not your fault and you are not a bad Sister. I'm sure there are things that you tell us that you wouldn't want to talk to your brother about and maybe he feels he couldn't talk to his family about how he's feeling right now. It sounds as though he's in the right place now and will get the help he needs. Only your Brother can heal himself inside and feel good again. Of course you can support him and I know you will, but this is a journey he has to follow by himself.
I'm quite sure that your financial situation is probably worrying you day and night. How about talking to a financial advisor and seeing if they can help improve your cash flow? They often have good advice and it'll be a weight off your shoulders to have someone sort it all out for you.
Have you got any time off work coming up soon? How a bout a long weekend at home with DH? Nice little break from the pressures of work and a chance to spend some quality time with your hubbie.
With the bms side of things, you know you can do it. You've done it a handful of times before. As patronising as this may sound, it really wouldn't be a surprise if it didn't work last night with all these worries. I know when my Dad was really poorly and I was up and down to the hospital with him and worrying about him leaving me I stupidly still insisted on trying bms and it was never gonna happen. My mind was elsewhere and there's no way I was relaxing enough.
I know how important it is to you to try and get it right for ovulation time again but it's not going to happen unless you can unwind a little bit. How about a relaxing bath and some nice music before hand or whatever you feels will help take you mind off things?
You know what's best for you and I hope you don't feel this isn't what you wanted to hear. I do understand Donna and I'm here for you xxx

Emma  - Best of luck with Dr Sex today.Don't be scared of going.Every meeting with her is a step forward in the right direction. Soon enough your "weak spots" will cease to exist and you'll be a strong woman having lots of bms and the 3 babies you dream of. You're doing really well, just keep going, keep being open and honest with her and never be afraid to release the demons that lie within!

The Dilemma - I feel absolutely terrible and a bloomin awful friend. I've dug myself into a right mess.
I spoke to my friend last night whose just had the twins. It;s her Dad's birthday party on Saturday and myself, DH & Mum were meant to all be going. I stupidly forgot all about the party and invited some friends down to stay with us. Friend sounded a bit upset when I told her I couldn't go to the party and now I feel that I've let her down.
She's one of my oldest friends. She a bridesmaid for me and me for her. We're all close to each others family and so on. This is the only weekend DH can have off work for about 3 months now and friends have organised their time off too. It'll be late notice for them to cancel and they're beyond excited about coming down.
Text friend last night to apologise again and said I would drive down Friday night or Saturday before friends arrive to see twins and her parents, bring gifts and grovel. Don't think that was enough somehow. It is her Dad's party rather than hers and we would only need immeadiate family, which I know is no excuse.
Either way I upset someone this weekend and I feel like I've really let her down.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Annie - you really are caught between a rock and a hard place there! Here are my thoughts:
* Would your mum (or is it dh's mum) still be going to the party? That might make your absence less hard to bear.
* Could you take the other friends (the ones staying with you) to the party too? 
* You can't really abandon the ones staying with you, so I reckon you have to somehow fit in a trip to the one with twins at some point. 
* Or is it feasible to spend the daytime on Sat and Sun with the friends who are staying with you, but encourage them to do something on their own (eg go out for a meal) on the Saturday evening, allowing you and dh to go to the party?
You haven't let anyone down  - you're human with a busy life and have made one little mistake. I'm sure all sides will forgive you and see the funny side in due course.
I have visions of you spending Saturday evening dashing between 2 venues hoping to keep all parties blissfully ignorant of what you are up to!

Well, my time with Dr Sex this afternoon was really good, and realy helpful (isn't that always the way when you work yourself up into a state about something). She thinks I'm not doing anything wrong, and that actually it could be a bit of a problem with dh. Her view was that he was overwhelmed by excitement or pressure or whatever and is temporarily losing his erection, and that is why the d****d thing keeps slipping out. It makes me feel a lot better. Somehow I have to talk about it with him, but I don't want to make a big deal out of it for fear of a non-problem turning itself into a big problem. She said that because the focus has been on me for so long we've lsot sight of the fact that it takes two to tango. I go back to see her in a months time - and she wants me to bring dh (not sure how I feel about that) - so that gives us time to talk about stuff and work on it etc.

I actually have some good news today. I got my exam results (RHS horticulture, taken many moons ago, well March) and somehow, to my surprise, got a distinction!    . I had to keep rereading it to be sure!

More paint stripping now. It is taking forever, but I actually quite enjoy it.

Take care everyone,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

CONGRATULATIONS EMMA!!!!!!

Wow - well done you! That's amazing.I do remember you doing the exams just completely forgot that you get results!

Really pleased that everything went will with Dr Sex today too. Good luck chatting to DH about it. It's such a sensitive subject for chappies. 

Are you going out to celebrate your acheivement. I think a bottle of something sparkly is very much called for at least!

Well done again!!! xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Well Done Emma, what a great result you must be so proud! will you be celebrating?

Thank you for what you both said, you both said the right things and made loads of sense.
Emma what dr sex said to you about DH I cna really relate to! it made sense of some of the problems we are having to!
I think some of the problem is that I am having to have sex when I really don't want to and I'm not in the mood! although head wants to I am not always in the mood down there - does that make sense?

I ovulated today!!! so wil try bms again tonight 

so far we have done, Tue, Sat and sun. Tuesdays will probably be dead by now but sat and sundays efforts will hopefully help. not hopefully this month at all! Dont feel there are enoght merms where there should be and with all I have going on I cant possibly get pregnant.

Annie, I have the whole of next week off as its my birthday! I cant wait! to skint to do anything mind! probably catch up on all the sleep we are missing because of DH's arm.

Polly - how are you? not working too hard I hope.

Take care Donna  xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hey Donna!

You will have _so many _ merms in there after all this bms! As people keep telling me, you only need one! How on earth is dh managing it with his arm? As if sex wasn't complicated enough without that added element. Is it in plaster? Do you remember me going on about my dh's shoulder. Well, a few days ago he had an appointment with a physio and it magically healed itself overnight and he cancelled the appointment. Men!

Annie - hello again!
Polly - hello! Hope you are OK. You're very quiet.......

No bms tonight for me. Dh is working late again. I'm on day 10, so I'm not panicking yet, but I definately want some bms action tomorrow! No celebrating either. I've celebrated alone with a couple of glasses of wine and a large packet of raspberries!

There is a fantastic storm going on here at the moment, with thunder and lightning right overhead. I love a good storm, but it is almost time to take my dogs out for their evening walk. Where are my wellies........

Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All

Nothing to report from me today for a change! We had that storm as well last night Emma. I'm a big scaredy cat when it comes to storms and all my family are well aware of that fact. They were all calling me last night and offering to come and sit with me as DH was at work. I got through it though!

Donna - Emma's right. You're probably carrying an ocean of wigglies around with you and it only needs the one! Any luck with bms last night?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning

Annie - I'm glad you survived the storm. Have you decided what to do about your double-booked weekend?

Donna, Polly  - I hope all is well.

As expected no bms for me last night. Dh was working until the small hours, although at least he managed to come home for a few hours sleep.
I have had a thrilling morning taking old paving stones and assorted household waste to the dump, in preparation for the possible move. Dh has 3 interviews next week, and 2 of the 3 would involve moving ooop north.
Off to carry on with paint stripping now. What a glamorous life I lead! 

Have a good day everyone,
Emma, xxxxxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I am so bored with paint stripping. Enough is enough. Going to have a long, hot bubbly bath now and then play with my dilators! I would rather do something (anything) else but it has been a few days since I last practiced.

Hope you are all having more fun than me today. 

Emma, xxxxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Sorry, been away at a conference. Knackered, but OK. Will get back to you tomorrow when I've recovered!!

Take care

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All 

I feel like crying this morning. An old biddy I work with is so sly sometimes and is the most incredibly selfish person I have ever come across. I changed my hours at the beginning of the year from 9-5 to 8-4 so that I could car share with a friend who lives 3 DOORS AWAY from me. I've been doing these hours now for 6 months. 

I had started to notice that the biddy wasn't liking this as she would love to do those hours (to go home and stir her cauldron) and she raised my hours in a team meeting of all places. I got cross on that occassion and nipped it in the bud by asking I would discuss it with my Boss at a more appropriate time.

This morning she was asking loads of personal questions about my hours such as "are they permanant"? "Is it just for the summer"? "Is it because I car share"?
And then launched right into a speech/demand/threat that she has a family member coming to stay soon and she will be asking to work 8-4 during that time. That could mean I have to go back on 9-5 during that time and she thought she should "mention it"
What the hell was I meant to say to that I just meakly said "O.K"
What i really wanted to do was shout "you selfish sly horrible person" 
I have done so much for the people on this team over the years. All the time my Dad was ill I hardly ever left early, never changed my hours and never worked less than a full week. Even if that meant working on a Saturday because I wanted to contribute my bit. Why is there always one person who has to ruin it?

Sorry, I'm just so upset about this. I'll be gutted if they change my hours back, but I don't think I have a choice.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - old biddy sounds like a complete b***h! You mustn't let her walk all over you. Could you have a private word about it with your boss today. It's difficult because you don't want to look like you are being petty, but it was inappropriate for her to bring it up in a team meeting where you have no choice but to meekly agree rather than make a scene. Do other people - expecially your boss - recognise her sly ways? If so, they'll probably be quite sympathetic.

Don't let her see that she has upset you though. Hideous people love that. If you are as sweet as anything to her face it'll really wind her up.

Emma, xxxxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Polly - glad you are OK. I was beginning to get worried. Hope your recovery is going well, and I look forward to hearing from you about it all when things quieten down in your life!

Donna - hello! Hope all is well with you. 

Still no bms action for me. Dh was shattered last night. This month could end up being a write off. I'm on day 12, expecting to ovulate on day 14, so we really have to do aomething soon if we are to have any chance.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Fellow colleagues certainly recognise her selfish, nasty, sly, mean ways thank God. Got lots of support from them and they're all saying the same thing. Don't show her that she's got to me. I'm going to wait for the Boss to approach me as she tends to dislike any hassle. If I keep quiet I might be alright! If she does raise if then I will certainly tell her all about this morning.

Emma - Don't panic, there's still time for bms. Is DH home at a decent hour tonight?

Donna - Hiya! How are you?

Polly - Looking forward to catching up with you xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I have been having a good old clear out today. How have we accumulated so much stuff?! I think I might try ebay; I haven't sold anything there for a couple of years after a bad experience.

I hope dh will be home at a decent hour today, but he never knows in advance. He has made the tactical error of having lots of US clients, so he often has to work to their time rather than ours (although I reckon he should start work 5 hours late to compensate for this).

I'll be back.
Emma, xxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi everyone,

No time to log on yesterday as it was my youngest brothers birthday and we went out for dinner.

Tried bms on tuesday but no luck, it was all to awkward blaming it on DH's arm but I am sure we are using that as a scap goat!
emma, Dh's arm is not in plaster because they want him to try and move it as much as possible as part of the healing process. It is very awrkward for bms but he just kinda lays it out of the way!

Only got merms in 2 days before ovulation, NOT the 2 most important days the opk tells you! never mind still hoping I am in with a chance, 2ww here I come.........Again!

Polly, hope you are recovering well?

Emma, Vey strange DH's arm making a recovery! how were the dilators? Dont give up hope on bms there is still time!

Annie, everywhere you go there is always 1 sceaming, sly b***h with attitude. I am beginning to think that because of equal oppotunties every work place has to employ one by law!  Hope you get it sorted! 8-4 or even 9-5 what bliss you lucky thing.
What are you up to this month on the bms front?

One more day at work then I have a while week off and I can't wait! looking forward to getting tiddeled at my b'day BBQ too.

Love to you all

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Donna - when is your birthday? A week off sounds lovely - just what you need. Let's hope the weather picks up by then. It is weird that you and your brother have birthdays at the same time.
I think you've done really well to manage any bms this month.

Annie - hope you got the work/hours thing sorted.

Well, dh is here so who knows what might happen later! I'm so worried that it won't work again, but I'm determined to get the goodies in there somehow! I'll let you know how we get on tomorrow.  
I did eat peas this evening though (having spilt the mushrooms that we were supposed to be eating all over the floor - told you I was clumsy  ).

Until tomorrow,
Emma, xxxxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi everyone

Annie, you have probably got the right attitude to the woman at work, like you say, maybe everyone has one. Hmm, there isn't one at my work - maybe it's ME!!!! 

You don't have to roll over and change just because this person wants you to. I would say that you have a very valid reason for your hours, (environmental) whereas this woman just wants them for her personal convenience. Surely work can agree to changing her hours without taking them away from you, if they want to agree to her request. If you are unsure how strong your case is, ring ACAS (http://www.acas.org.uk/contact/helpline.html) and talk over how to handle it with them. They are always really helpful in my experience, if a little depressed! I imagine that it because they listen to awful stories all day!

Well done on the exam results, Emma! Way to go! You sound like you have such an idyllic life, (apart from the silly hours that your DH works), are you going to spoil it all by getting a job as a gardener or summat? Maybe you could take over Gardener's World?

Keeping fingers crossed for you Donna, keep on with the bms! Sorry to hear about your dad and brother - how are they doing?

I read Emma's post about dh "slipping out". Know that problem well! If it helps, in our case, because of only having just 2/3 the vagina length, the other part being above the septum, we do experience that, so maybe one explanantion (don't know if this holds water as a theory), is that you are still a bit tense at the top, and you need to take a bit more time to get all the way there before DH gets on with it.

The other reason that it happens to us is that my dh is always worried about hurting me, and every expression on my face worries him, and I have always had to concentrate on getting into the best position for me, so I look a bit focussed and offputting. (I should try putting a bag over my head!) Just that is enough to put him off, and once that happens, he can lose the plot and fall out.

Third thing is that when we went to a sex counsellor, he pointed out that when couples have problems, when the one that "has" the issues gets sorted out, the other partner can have problems of thier own. So it's not that uncommon.

I am VERY clear that when we get back to bms (or any other kind!) dh is having cialis for a while. We have used it before, after he had his vasectomy reversal, and felt a bit fragile. I have already asked my consultant to prescribe it privately for him. I don't want him to lose the plot, as I will be anxious enough for both of us, and don't need him to join in, as it will do no good at all.

Anyway, it might be worth considering as a way of him getting used to doing bms. It won't stop him being concerned about you, just reduce the effects so that they don't render him useless! I would recommend cialis rather than viagra, as you can be more spontaneous. It would just be a short term measure to get over the effects of anxiety. A natural alternative is Maca, (gelatinized version), but I haven't found it as effective.

Anyway, I have been very good, dilators twice a day (felt a bit strange doing that at the conference in a strange room!) and xl tampons all the time (I let myself off for about four hours a day, as it isn't that comfortable yet). I'm feeling much better these days, but still quite tired, but in better spirits, a little bit sore from time to time.

Take care all!

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All!!!!

Thanks for all your support yesterday. I have definitely decided to wait and see if I am approached by the Boss about changing them. If I do it now it could go horribly wrong as I'm still too cross about it. Give me the weeked away from here and I'll be far more rational.

As far as bms goes I've only done it that one day I was feeling really frisky - if you remember!!! Been a bit tired lately and not feeling particularly fruity. I think I'm on day 12 but the thing is my cycles are so irratic I just never know. I'm considering using the opk again just to see what happens. DH is working late tonight, but I might give it a go if he's up for it. 

Emma - Any joy with bms last night? 


Donna - You do make me laugh! I think you're right, companies must have to employ a percentage of sly cowbags. Got my fingers crossed for you again for this 2ww. You never know, the merms could have still been there at the right time.

Polly - Thanks for the fab advice, yet again! So glad that you're recovering really well.I totally admire you for your daily use of dilators and tampons. I've been saying all week that I'll get Mr Speculum out -and haven't. Better do over the next few days though as it's smear day on Thursday- eeek!

Have a lovely day everybody!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Can't stop long as I have 101 things to do this morning. Just had to tell you all that we managed bms last night and again this morning, and it all worked fine! I quite enjoyed last night's efforts  but I _really_ enjoyed it this morning. I can't stop grinning and feel really odd!  In terms of bms last night was more successful than this morning - dh reckoned there wasn't much semen today (perhaps he hadn't had enough time to restock), but there was definately some even today.

Got to go now!
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Well Done Emma - Hopefully this is the one!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again!

I'm still grinning away to myself! Yes, it would be perfect if this was the one, but we all know that would be too good to be true. I am going to stay positive though and send positive vibes to myself (what a nutter).

Annie - waiting to approach your boss is a good strategy as it will give you time to work out what to say and how to say it. I hope it won't spoil your weekend though to have it hanging over you.

Polly - you are amazing! I don't know how you manage to use the dilators twice a day and go to conferences and be so busy and important. I hope you have some time to rest and relax at the weekend and do something that isn't work or dilating!
Thank you so much for all your wise words about dh and sex. Dr Sex said exactly the same things about how when one person sorts out their issues it is quite normal for the other person to have some temporary problems. Poor dh has waited 11 years for this, so the pressure must be horrendous. I too am conscious of the fact that my face is probably showing panic/fear etc, which must be rather off-putting for him. 
I am hoping that perhaps things will be OK. Last night/this morning was certainly encouraging and has boosted my confidence (and dh's I think) no end. I had never heard of Cialis, but it is useful to know that there are things out there if we need it.

Polly, I guess I do have an idyllic life generally. I know that I am incredibly lucky. We would have more money if I had a proper career, but I could never earn anything like him. When I was working full-time I always felt inadequate because of that, like it was a competition, although dh never felt that way. I would much rather have a little less disposable income and all the time in the world to do the things I enjoy. I just wish I could have the children to complete the picture! I have thought about setting myself up in business as a gardener, but I am allergic to soil (not ideal) and, more crucially, although I am great at somethings (planting, weeding, pruning etc) I would be very dangerous indeed with hedgetrimmers, chainsaws etc. Plus it is so physical, and ttc is my top priority now, so I don't really want to be doing any extra digging, lifting etc. If I can't have children then it is an option.
I can't see me on Gardeners World somehow (although I have to say I find Monty Don very attractive - I know I'm in a very small minority with that view). I could never get over how the woman on there (Rachel something, on maternity leave now) had such perfect nails with all that gardening.

Donna - hope your last day of work was OK. Holiday time!

Got to go now.

Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Just noticed Donna that your birthday is tomorrow. In case I don't post again before then I hope you have a _fabulous _ day. Is the BBQ tomorrow? Have a great day, drink plenty of wine (and try not to think about the 2ww).

  

Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi!

Emma, I don't  think that you are in that much of a minority re Monty Don - he can come round and prune my roses anytime  ,!

I can't believe you have just got a qualification in horticulture and you are allergic to soil. What a hoot! It must be a bit like being a vet when allergic to fur and feathers. Maybe you have to stick to container gardening (my forte).

Well done on ENJOYING bms. That's what it's all about! I'm really pleased for you.

"Busy and important" - you make me blush   . I'm actually just an idiot and  a control freak. It made me smile a bit when you were all talking about doing something that "makes a difference". In theory that's what I do, but most of the time I just wear myself out to be useful to no-one. Today was my first Friday "off", and I left work at 7.30.   Still, in the last hour and a half, I was mostly organising a weekend away for dh and myself this weekend - at Champneys!!!!! He reckons that a couple of days of being rubbed down with a bit of seaweed would do me good, bless him, so I aint going to argue! I don't know if I can swim or not, as it wasn't a question that I thought to ask, so I haven't decided yet if I will use the pool. But I will enjoy the rest, and hope that there will still be some availability for a facial or something totally indulgent. MMMM!

Have  a great birthday Donna!!!    

Hope everyone has great   this weekend!!!

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning Everyone!

 Donna!!! Hope you've got lots of nice pressies and having a lovely day.

Polly - Champneys's!!! - How rude! I'd luurrrv to be spending my weekend there. I absolutely love going to Spa's or being pampered in general. When I get a bit of time I must remember to tell you about my embarassing massage experience in the Maldives.

Emma - Hope you're having a lovely weekend with loads of bms!

I'm feeling a bit down and frustrated about it all again. I've overcome the bms issue (I think) but it still doesn't mean much as my periods are so wacko. I don't know what my next cycles are ever going to be so I can never time these things. I know I should focus on IUI and hope that it's going to help. It just seems such a long road and even after 3 years I'm still at the very start of it.

Sorry guys I feel like I've dragged the mood right down now! Might be cause I've got a bit of a hangover today  I'm off for a nap and then I'm into Super Annie Cleaning Mode for my visitors arrivial this evening.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again!

I kept trying to come on here yesterday but the server was down or something. Hope you are all well, and that you had a fabulous birthday Donna!

Polly - Champneys sounds fabulous! I'd love to do something like that but my dh would run a mile! Hope you are having/had a wonderful time. You definately deserve a bit of pampering.
When does your consultant suggest that you might be able to try sex?
I'm glad you like the lovely Monty too; people on my gardening course hated him (but then most were a lot older than me and found Alan Titchmarsh attractive - he does _nothing_ for me). He has a lovely twinkle in his eye!
Yep, soil gives me really bad eczema, but I hate wearing gardening gloves. I can keep it under ontrol as long as I don't fondle the soil too much! 
I'm going to hold you to the massage anecdote.......

Annie - hello again. Perhaps things will seem better once you start IUI. You'll feel like your actually doing something. Will you have to start taking the dreaded Clomid again?
I hope you've had a nice time with your visitors.

Donna - are you looking forward to your week off. Let's hope the weather picks up so you can do lots of sunbathing. I hope things are a bit better with your dad and brother.
How far into the 2ww are you now?

Well, I don't know quite what has happened to me. I seem to have turned overnight into a wanton sex goddess! I can't quite believe it but long may it continue! Suffice to say there has been plenty of bms and I have really enjoyed it! Back to a good book and cocoa at bedtime next week though as dh is away for a few days (actually, I hate cocoa).

Take care everyone and enjoy the rest of the wekend.

Emma, xxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Afternoon,

Emma that is fantastic that you are enjoying bms, well done you. We haven't tried it since I ovulated we still aren't really there with it yet but hoping it will come soon and I can put this vag nightmare behind me once and for all!

I am on day 6 of 2ww I think! and If I am pregnant baby would have been swimming last night! Had a fantastic birthday, tried to come on here yesterday but there was problems and I couldn't get on!

Dh got me some nice underwear, ani sui - dolly girl perfume, pj's (I love pj's) some new really cool thermaceramic hair strightners and get this I am now Lady Donna Taylor! fancy that! He did this thing on the internet where you Buy some land in scotland and because I now own land I have the title Laird (meaning land owner) which is Lord for a man and lady for a women! its all legal I can change bank details credits cards etc If I want to! how cool! although I wont be going that far, Mrs is fine!
Also got a C.valintino bag from my broher, lovely bth and facial stuff, some wine, a WEB CAM, Cristian Dior perfume............. I did really well all in all.

Drank loads of pimms then tried Southern Comfort! didn't realsie how yummmy that was! by end of the night we were all singing on singstar for the PS2 and dancing on the dace mat! head was spinning ut thankfully feel fine today!

Cant help thinking today though, what If I was prengnant and drinking so much has mucked it all up.

I know what you all mean about DH watching facial expressions while having sex, Dh is forever asking me if I am ok which is sometimes off putting even though he is only being considerate

I am so pleased I now have a whole weel off! I'll be able join in your chats during the day instead of catching up in the eveing!

Catch you later off to play with web cam

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Lady Donna - goodness! I'm so pleased that you had a wonderful birthday. I can't get over how may presents you got! What are you going to do with your webcam? 
Don't worry about having a few drinks. Don't most people get pg after a drunken night out?
I look forward to chatting away in the week this week.

Annie - I got confused earlier. Just realised it is you not Polly (sorry Polly) who has the massage anecdote. I look forward to hearing it!

Polly - hope you are feeling rested and refreshed.

I'm off to see the gynaecologist tomorrow. I think it is just a courtesy visit to check that I managed dilator no 4 and sex so that he can discharge me. I will ask him if there is any point me having IUI/ICSI, and how long we should ttc naturally before seeking IF tx of some form.
I have spent the day picking, podding, parboiling and freezing ridiculous quantities of broad beans. Now ovulation time has passed I think it is safe for me to eat them again too.

Bye-bye for now,
EmmaXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma,

Hope all goes well at your appointment tommorrow be interesting to see what he/she suggests as regards to IUI and tx in general

Speak tommorrow

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Hope you are all well. I've got to go and but a birthday present for my niece this morning. What do you buy for the 5 year old who has everything?!
Gynae appointment this afternoon.

Got to go now,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good evening all,

I tried to come on here earlier but it wasn't working again.

Hope you are all well. 

Annie - did you talk about your hours with your boss? 
How was your weekend?

Donna - hope you are enjoying your week off. have you been doing anything exciting?

Polly - how are you?

I saw the gynaecologist today. As expected, he just wanted to check that everything was on track with dilators, sex etc. He told me that statistically, based on all the tests done on me and dh's sperm and lifestyle factors that I have an 80% chance of being pg naturally within a year. I think that is good?  He has made an appointment for me to go back in 6 months time, and if I'm not pg by then they'll do IUI. 

Decided on Lego for my niece. It is what she was hinting at. When did Lego stop being houses and hospitals? It seems to be all Star wars and Harry Potter now. I loved Lego as a child.........

I have a weird pain on my righthand side (pelvis/abdomen area) today. I don't know if it is good or bad or irrelevant. I am past ovulation, but too early for anything significant to have taken place (day 16/day 2 of 2ww). Perhaps I just stretched in a funny way.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Tries to come on here earlier but it seems there were problems.

Emma, gynae appointment sounds good and 80% is a fantastic statistic! I know that all my bits are in good working order and Dh is all good but I don't eat as healthly as you but that shouldn't make my chances much less should it?
I am hoping not!
I had been thinking to myself, although have never voiced this. I will give myself 6 months if I haven't fell pregnant then I will think about IUI again in the new year! we should be up for NHS funding by then (haven't taken ourselfs off the list just incase)

Day off was fantastic, didn't get up till 11:30 
Didn't do much just boring bits like going to the bank and food shopping, while we were out we saw that the pet shop was selling kittens! DH then went on and on all the way around tesco (like a big kid) but we did end up going back and buying one. told DH it will have to make up is birthday present next month though as its the only way we could addord to buy one.
It 9 weeks old and so cute, although we haven't seen it for the past 3 hours cause it ran upstairs abd is hiding either under the bath ir under the shower either way we cant get to him so just hope he comes out!
Now have 2 2yr old cats and a kitten!.........um anyone think we are trying to filla whole in our lives!

Hope you are all well

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi girls

Wow! Had a fantastic time and spent more money than anyone should while the rest of the world is thinking about world poverty! (but then I do my bit every day!)

I LOOOOOVVVVEEEE Champneys!!!!!!! And so does DH. He was all for booking in again before we left. Because they gave us a voucher for a 2 night stay at a really good price to use next time, he couldn't wait. He had a massage, a facial and a pedicure - and enjoyed them all - bless him. He also had a thalassotherapy session, but wasn't so keen - he's had better! I wasn't allowed in the thalassotherapy, as one of the rules is that you haven't had surgery in the last six months, but it doesn't sound like I missed much.

I had 3 facials, a massage and a "body radiance" treatment, a pedicure and a dry float, where you are wrapped in a waterproof duvet and float in water. They said that a 25 min float was worth 4 hours sleep (uh?), but as the therapist that ran that section was the same as the thalassotherapy, she felt sorry for me and left me in for 55 mins. I didn't know the difference, as I was well zzzz-ing! We also did a yoga class.

They have GREAT fluffy white bathrobes, and everyone lives in them. And big squashy squishy sofas and there are people just slobbing and sleeping about on them. It was SO relaxing. 

So, come on Annie - what about that massage in the Maldives? We need the story!

Great news from your gynae, Emma - was it you that booked a smear? Whoever it was, did it go OK?

So Donna - was it Ladette to Lady then?? What a great present!!!! My parents gave DH a bit of the moon as a present once, but he's never fancied going there, as there is no atmosphere     . (Couldn't resist). Sounds like you had a great birthday, and don't worry about enjoying yourself, you gotta do it!

Have to say, apart from being fed up with the constant dilator/tampon thing, I'm feeling great.  My new member of staff appears to be a real star, and all the things that we have put into place in the business are going well and already making a difference. Just need to get pg next month! (consultant seemed to think that we could bd in a month, but in fact if we need another week or two, that would be ok in terms of timing. Going back to see him on Thursday, so we will see then what progress I am making.

Take care everyone!

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Polly, sounds fantastic I would love to go somewhere like that you lucky thing!

Emma, ment to say before did you use OPK this month, do you know you ovulated on day 14? cause the pain you descirbed could be ovulation pains, but on the other hand probably 2ww syndrom where we analyse everything eh 
I've had more discharge lately and I am sure I am usually dry thid week then discharge increases as I get into the week before AF. DH says I think of something new every month that means I am preg   he's probably right

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

FINALLY!!!!  I've been trying to get on here since yesterday

Sooo much to catch up on with you guys. OK here we go

Polly - It is I who has the smear test booked and dooms day is on Thursday. Haven't practiced with my speculum and am now getting a bix anxious. I was pig sick reading about your Champney's experience. I went and booked myself into a more local spa to cheer myself up! Glad you had a good time though. The Maldives story/experience/horror is at follows:

As a fellow frequenter of spa's you are probably well versed in massage etiquette and the rules that massuers have to follow with regards to the modesty of the client. Thinking it was the same all around the world I agreed to having a male massuese in the Maldives. Didn't think anything of it and was all for equality.
Upon arrival to the Spa I was greeted by a young boy and was guided to a gorgeous room. He asked if I had my underwear on to which I replied "yes". He then nodded and said "Good. Off!" Thinking he would leave the room whilst I removed my clothing. No no - he wanted me to strip infront of him. I took off my shorts and vest top and stood before him in my bikini. O.K I'm thinking so far so good, a little unorthodox maybe, but we're alright.
He then nods again "Off". Uh - Oh you mean my bikini top. I felt a bit uncomfortable but thought I must be being silly. He see's it all the time. Stop being a prude. Off comes the top and I stand there with me baps out. I lay on the table and no towel is provided to cover my shame or my bee stings.
The hot oil gets poured on and off we go. Now it said "intense" massage but Holy Moly, this kid was kneeding the **** out of me. I zoned out and tried to foget that I was semi naked and there was a guy seeing me in my glory and not my hubbie.
He then claps his hand and says "roll". Over I roll. Not easy when you're oiled up and no way of doing it with any glamour. He then grabs my bikini bottoms and pulls them half way down my ass. Wondering what the hell was going on I just led there. He then starts massaging the top of my spine and worked his way all the way down....yes, all the way down. Where does your spine end girls..... on your cocyx, your bum bone. This guy had his thumb between the crack of my ass and was massaging my bum bone. My eyes were bugging out my head and all I could keep thinking was "some guy has his thumb up my butt". And it bloody hurts!!!!!    
I couldn't wait for it to be over and I ran all the way back to our room and blurted it all out to DH. He rolled around laughing. The guys we met for dinner had a right good laugh about it too. 
I will never forget it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So there you have it. My masage mare. Hope it was worth the wait!!!

Lady Donna - Glad you had a good birthday.That's a whole load of lush pressies you got!  What have you named your new kitten?

Emma - Glad everything went well with the gynae. 80% is fab odds. Probably the same as any other couple starting out ttc. Sounds like a good plan to be honest. Give it 6 months and see how you get on. I'm sure you will have cracked it by then.

Well I had bms last night. Didn't use lube. It hurt. Think I tensed. Don't know if anything made it in. Not that it matters anyway cause Lord only knows if I've ovulated or will ovulate now or anytime before the next milennium. Seems a bit pointless even trying but like the crazy lady that I am I have a go anyway. Smear day Thursday and I'm a tadge bit anxious, but determined as I am sick to the back teeth of waiting to gain genuine access to the baby aisle in Sainsbury's, to order my pushchair and sit at work with a smug face knowing I'm of on mat leave soon.

Boy have I missed you guys!!!! Hope they've got internet access in Zante. No way can I go 2 weeks without you guys.

Night all xxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

I never seem to be able to get in FF at the moment.

Annie  - I did laugh at your story. I would have died with embarrassment! You'll be fine on Thursday; You'll get through it somehow. Well done on the bms.

Donna - kitten sounds lovely. What will you call him/her? I am jusyt the same reading something into every little twinge or anything out of the ordinary at all! I didn't use an OPK, but kind of guessed when I was ovulating by watching CM and with temperature charting (dip in temp just before). I'm fairly confident that ovulation was on Saturday, day 14, although I have had sex since then too so we should have given ourselves as good a chance as possible. Sorry to go on about sex, and I hope I'm not being insensitive, but I just can't get over what has happened to me! I feel like a child with a new toy at Christmas! It is really lovely because although dh and I have been together for over 11 years it feels like those early days again when you just can't keep your hands off each other!

Polly -  Champneys sounds wonderful. Perhaps you should go every weekend! What fabulous news that the consultant thinks you could get pg next month! Wow! I'll keep everything crossed for you.

Like you say Donna, the 80% figure is probably what they tell everyone so I won't read too much into it. I wouls have thought your chances were much higher than mine because you are younger. Anyway, we are people not statistics.

I have my SIL and one niece and nephew coming for lunch today. I've just had to go on a mad cleaning spree. I love seeing them so much!
I had some great news yesterday. One of my best friends from uni (Japanese) is coming to London soon. I haven't seen her for 11 years, even though we've worked together on and off for the past 3 years or so. I can't wait to catch up, and we're going to work on another book together too. 

Got to go now. Have a great day everyone.

Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Another book Emma?!?!? Does this mean you have published material out there somewhere? I inisist you tell me the name of it so I can have a read!

I'm glad you're feeling really good about bms - you should. It really is a great achievement. I hope the final part of the dream comes true for you now.

Had a go with Mr Speculum a minute ago. Found it a bit tight going in. Maybe I'm getting a bit anxious about Thursday. If I can't do a smear then I won't be able to have the tube test and then I won't be able to do IUI and then I won't be able to have a baby. Oh Lordie!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Semm to be having a nightmare getting on here lately how typical when I am off all week.
Kitten is Dh's birthday present so he has named Bono (after U2 lead singer) The kitten is male as our other 2 cats (both 2yrs) are girls.

Annie, know exactly what you mean about buying pram and gaining excess to baby isle! How I want to look smug walking round mothercare!!

Don't think it is likely for me this month we mucked it all up and didn't manage bms on the critical days.
Emma, sounds like you have done fantastic this month, I haev everything crossed for you hun. I have a good feeling for you. Will you be testing or waiting for AF? when is AF due?
I have 7 days to go, adn although I don't think it is likely you still hope don't you.

Maybe we have the same chance statisically then emma cause as you say I am younger but then you are much much healthier.
But bo****ks to stats all 4 of us have every chance of conceiving very soon. well thats what I think anyway!!!

Saw my pregnant friend on sat and I haven't seen her woth a bump before! had a touch and a poke! I was fine when I actually saw her but now feel jelous and upset! I want it to be me, although it was kinda planned she never tried for it, not like we are all having to! and my brother well he got his girlfriend preg after sleeping together a couoke of times and they had only been together for 3 weeks! I think all the time why couldn't that be me? them having a baby is only going to reck there lives and the babies life it seems so unfair thats all.

Came on here in a kinda of good mood now seem to have depressed myself better go before before I depress you ladies to

speak soon

Donna xx

Been thinking wouldn't it be great if us 4 could some how meet?

p.s Annie don't get yourself into a tizz about it hun easy for me to say and I know I would be thinking the exact same as you if I were in your shoes. my advice would be to leave mr spectulum alone as it will probbaly get you more worked up just go and have the smear on thursday, I am sure you will be fine with it then you can move onto other things. Don't know if I am explaining myself well, things never come out how I want them to.

p.p.s what is this about another book?? ?? ??


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

At long last it is working again!

Donna  - sorry you're feeling a bit down. Go and give the kitten a big hug - bound to make you feel better. Are your other ones neutered? I have perfected the art of blanking out all the pg women and babies that I see (or don't see) out and about. At least your brothers's baby will have the best auntie in the world!

Annie - I'd leave the speculum well alone. I think you'll make it worse for yourself. They'll get in in somehow, and it will hurt, but you'll be so pleased afterwards that you managed it. 

About the book thing - can't believe I'd never mentioned this before - it is really no big deal. I'd love to claim that I was actually a famous bestselling author, but it is so far from the truth. I have written 2 incredibly dull textbooks with a friend of mine. They are for Japanese students who study English at uni. My friend is Japanese and teaches English, but her written English has, shall we say, scope for improvement. Some of the stuff she writes (in English) and then I put it into proper English. Other bits I write myself, often on bizarre topics that seem to fascinate the Japanese (royal family, tea-making, for example) or on our politics and history. It is good fun and gives a great insight into another culture. The books are only published in Japan, as far as I know. I'll put a link on here another day (it takes ages for me to find me google - I have to put really odd key words). I get paid quite well for it, but it won't make me rich. Normally I do this kind of thing in winter and cocentrate on tending my vegetables in summer.

Donna - I'm not going to test, just wait for af to arrive. I am still trying to send positive vibes to all the relevant bits . I'm on day 17 and af is due on Friday the 15th (or possibly the Saturday). I genuinely think that I'll be OK with a BFN this month because I'm so delighted to have made progress with penetration; although I'll be disappointed I don't feel like the thought of yet another round of bms would be such an ordeal as it once might.

I had the best day with my niece and nephew (shame the eldest was at school though). We did lots of drawing and fed sandwiches and cake to the dogs. 

Got to go now, dh needs a lift.
Emma, xxxxxxxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

EMMA!!!! Write another book? Your life gets more like the one I want every day!! GET OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND LET ME HAVE A TURN!!!!!   - especially with all the great bd you're getting these days! (Ooops, I don't mean I want your DH as well!)

BTW, I didn't mean that the consultant thought we had a *good  * chance of getting pg next month, just that he thought it was worth having a go on our own at least one month. I think he is right, even if it is only to give us the motivation to bd. I am very ambivalent about it, sometimes I can't wait to try it out with my new improved hoohoo, but other times, I can't imagine it will stop stinging enough for us to have a go. So if we went for IUI, we might just not quite get around to it, and that would be BAAAD.

But we still have the other issues, like my age, and DHs antibodies and not brilliant sperm count, so I'm not holding my breath (except I will when we get to the tww!)

Gotta run - cycle club tonight  and I am on the cake rota !!

Log in later

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Cycle club, cake rota? why do you girls have such fantastically interesting lives and hobbies!

You have made a brillient leap forward this month and have every right to feel proud. DH said to me the first month we had bms, that he kinda hoped in a good way that it wouldn't work first time so we could have more bms. I guess I can see what he ment although I would rather be pregnant now abd have sex later, if you know what I mean?
Do worry that if I ever do get pregnant that after the birth the vag will come back. see what I mean annie I think way to far far ahead instead of thinking about what is happening now!
As emma said and I was trying to say earlier you will be fine on thursday you will amaze yourself hun!

Got an appoinment at the bank tommorow and will hopefully be sorting out another loan! that will hopefully get us on track with our finances! aaarrrggghh life eh!
its getting married and IUI that got us into the most finacial mess!

anyway better go and have a shower so I am ready in pj's for BB!

Can you belive that my 2 cats are scared of the kitten! the kitten on the other hand keeps winding them up 

Donna xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again!

I have spent most of this morning (and much of yesterday evening) sitting in traffic jams. Grrrrrr! Big fire or something on the M25 just by us and all the roads are gridlocked. 

Annie - hello. Hope you are OK. I'm sure you'll be fine tomorrow.
Did you sort out all your work problems?

Donna - the kitten sounds great fun! Hope you're having a lovely day. I know what you mean about giving birth (we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves here ; I don't worry about birth itself - a baby is going to come out somehow - but I do about what happens to my body afterwards. Perhaps birth will stretch all the bits out and make everything easier though. I have a retroverted uterus which, I've been told, can make it more likely that I'd need a c-section, which I really wouldn't want if possible. Anyway, must stop this. It is tempting fate.
When are you testing Donna (if you are going to test)?

Polly - you do make me laugh! I would swap places with you anyday! You sound so important and 'together' (and you have a fab car). 
Now I understand what you mean about ttc. I thought you had some secret way of getting pg immediately (and I wanted to know the secret).
Does the cake rota mean you have to bake the cakes or is it your turn to eat them all?! Are you OK cycling already - doesn't it hurt?

More paint stripping for me this afternoon. It is soooooo boring.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Everyone.

Sorry I haven't been around as much as usual. It's been a crazy few days at home and at work, plus I couldn't get on here when I've tried!. I'm still feeling quite positive about tomorrow and certainly willing to give it my everything. Really wanted to have a go at bms last night but I went out to dinner with my Grandad and DH was working late. We both fell into bed last night and were flat out in minutes. Fingers crossed we'll see a bit of action tonight. I'll work my mojo on dh if I have to!

Emma - I'm with Polly - seriously - gardening, but of book writing, bit of cooking, walks with the dogs. You sound like something straight out of a Country Life magazine. Wait til the babies come and you can add to that "bit of walking the babies, some creative play time and watching Teletubbies!

Donna  - How did you get on at the bank. Are you feeling better about everything now? 
Didn't realise you were a fellow BB fan. Can you believe Makosi - uuuggh! Tell you what though if she did fall pregnant after one fumble in a swimming pool I'd be fuming.

Polly - You're like a whirlwind! Do you ever stop buzzing around? Cycle club? Cake rota? Busy Job, Surgery. Oh my word I've just had an epiphany- you're Superwoman! I always knew she existed out there somewhere. I can't believe I've been talking to her all this time. Well you live and you learn!!!!
I was enjoying a hot choc when I read your mail and sprayed it all over my p.c when I read the word "hoohoo". I haven't laughed so much in a long time. I love it!

I don't think I have much else to report really. Still no replacement car, no bms, smear test tomorrow so might have something to talk about, ovulation is still up the creek and still no BFP!  Same old same old really!

I should be able to check in tonight, so speak to you all later xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again!

Polly - forgot to ask earlier, what is bd? I guess you mean sex, but I can't work out the acronym! I'm probably being very dim.....

Annie - Good luck for tomorrow! I'm glad you're feeling more positive about it all. 
I hope you manage to work your mojo tonight!  
You did make me laugh with your talk of my Country Life lifestyle. Having said that I am planning to make jam next week! The people in those magazines are all tall and blonde and perfectly groomed, and unfortunately I'm not! My offspring will have lots of walks and do lots of outdoorsy things  - which I never did as a child  - whether they like it or not. 

I'm another secret BB addict too. I swore that I wouldn't watch it or get into it this year, but resistance is futile. They are all so hideous that it is compulsive viewing. I shouted at the TV last night when that stupid Makosi claimed she was 90-100% sure she was pg and demanded a pg test 3 days after the event! I can't believe that she can really be a nurse!

Dh is away for the rest of the week (job interviews in Manchester). To throw a spanner in the works he went for an interview for another job in London on Monday which he thinks went really well. If he gets/takes that one we won't be moving just yet. I've quite come round to the idea of moving now though.
I'm going to eat pizza (so much for healthy eating Donna!), drink red wine, and watch a DVD. Bliss!

Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Nothing sorted with bank so we are really up the creak! any financail advisors out there? cause soon we wont have the cash to pay for anything and all credit cards are maxed out  

Isn't 2nd week of 2ww the worst habe nad case of 2ww blues probably not helped by talking to my friend who has just bought her pram! while on the phone to her I am genuinly excited I feel like $hit afterwrads!

Af is due on tuesday will wait and see what happens but not holding my breath although no signs either way yet!


Off to eat some dinner now, chicken bacon and pasta yummy will do a more detailed and les grunpy post later

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

sorry still feeling grumpy  

we are having a major cash flow problem not help by dh being off work but the thing most bothering me is that I WANT/NEED TO BE PREGNANT!

There got it off my chest

Annie wish you all the luck for tommorrow. when is your appointment? I'll be thinking of you anyway

Emma how is 2ww going?

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna I'm joining you in grumpyland today  Tried bms last night and stupidly I tried going on top again, which wasn't a complete disaster I'm sure we were part way in. It was a bit tight and hurt a bit at first but I told myself to relax and it seemed to work a bit better. Afterwards there was alot of wigglies around the area/entrance/you know!!! and I led there wondering if we didn't achieve it after all. When I stood up no wigglies dropped out so I've been feeling really despondent since last night. Should have used a bit of lube I think. Might have helped it in that little bit further.
Well now I think I've missed my chance for this month and i'm absolutely gutted. I'm trying to think positive thoughts like , well now I know a little lube goes a long way and maybe I'm not ready for au natural. I'll have another go on Friday and I guess as long as it's a complete success then we've made progress.

Still feeling alright about this afternoon. I'm in meetings the rest of the day but I'll log on when I get home and let you know how I get on. Praying that I don't have a complete freak out. I really need to do this. CLearly IUI is the way for me.

Donna - try not to worry about the pennies. Without trying to sound too patronising, I do believe the Citizens Advice give financial advice or aren't there people called debt advisors? If I get a chance I'll find out for you. I am a "qualified" financial advisor but I've never done it in the real world. I wouldn't dream of telling other people what to do with their pennies!!! I'm sure I've come across a group of people, specially designed to help consolidate repayments - and I don't mean those sharks who advertise on the tele and charge phenomenal interest! I'll get back to you x

Emma - Jam - ha! I was right. I am e-mailing Country Life Mag as we speak and telling them that I have discovered their new cover girl.

Polly - Hope all is well x

Ooh - couldn't stay awake for all of BB last night. Heard about the Eugene thing on the radio - poor guy


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning

Donna - I wish I could offer some helpful advice about money. We've been there too and I know how stressful it is (when dh was at law school we had to live on just what I earned, which didn't leave much after paying rent). Can you consolidate all your credit card debts and overdrafts into one loan with low repayments spread over a long period?  We did that (I think it was with Alliance and Leicester). I would have thought banks would be quite sympathetic if they know that the cashflow is just a temporary thing because of dh's arm.
Do you have the option of doing paid overtime where you work? What about evening agency babysitting; a friend of mine did that and it was quite lucrative.

On the plus side, not having any af symptoms must be a good thing. Don't you normally have them quite a few days ahead of actual af?

Annie - Good luck again for this afternoon. I'll be thinking of you my dear. You never know, bms might have worked.

Got to go now. Will it ever stop raining?

Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Going to see my friend and her 9 month old baby girl probably not the best thing to be doing but I have never seen her daughter.
Still feeling pants today, thing is with  money is my bank could have helped but because I have been applying for loans everywhere it goes against you. Every time you are credit scored you get a mark against your name, abbey can help but I have to wait 6 months for record to be cleard! cant wait that long!

Annie, easy for me to say but don't despair about bms we had a nightmare to this month. it may be because you are thinking about smear later so maybe bms will work tommorrow when the smear is all done and dusted! good luck for smear by the way but U have every faith in you.

Emma, no I guess no signs are good news but not getting hopes up. we didn't acheive bms at right times so it really would be a miricle.

Polly how are you going?

Annie, thanks in advance for looking for me, we are in touch with a couple of places but everything takes so long and time isn't on our side.

catch you all later

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - hello again. Sorry your day isn't getting any better. I hope things go ok with your friend; I'm worried that seeing yet another baby will upset you.
Come back and let it all out if that is the case. 

I'm so relieved that dh is in Manchester at the moment (his office is near Moorgate). Polly - were you and dh in London today? I hope you are both ok. 

I'm off to paint the stairs now. Painting with gloss paint has to one of my least favourite DIY tasks. Undoubtedly there'll be dog hair stuck to it before it has time to dry.

Until later,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Polly - Just want to make sure you & DH are safe and sound

Hope everyone's friends and family were not involved in todays tragedy. I'm just waiting to hear that my Cousins are safe. I'm thinking I would have heard about it by now if they were involved.

I'm feeling sick with nerves right now. I'm just leaving the office to head to the GP's surgery. Will log on as soon as I get home and let you know how I got on.

Here goes.....


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I DID IT, I DID IT, I DID IT, I DID IT, I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did get myself in a bit of a state in the waiting room and was starting to feel sick. The Nurse was just amazing! She is the nicest person you could hope to meet. She totally put me at ease and told me there was no pressure to do it today.

She did use a bit of lube for me and it slid it reasonably well. A little bit uncomfortable but not unbearable. I just kept deep breathing and concentrating on relaxing the muscles. Before I knew it she had pulled the thing out and told me it was all done.

I burst into tears and gave her a huge hug. She told me she was really proud and pleased for me.

I am in an utter state of shock. After 8 years of being absolutely pertified of this I now use tampons and have had a smear test. Off to the hospital I go for my tube test now

Yeeeehhaaaaa!!!!!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - well done you! It is a _fantastic_ achievement - i knew you could do it! 

Got to go before my bath oversflows. I'll be back!

Emma, xxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

WELL DONE ANNIE! Nothing stopping you now, you go girl!

Hope everyones family and friends are ok, hope polly and DH are ok

Seeing my friend was really nice, didn't upset me as I imagined it would I am actually in a slightly better mood. 

Hopefully hearing back from a loan tommorrow, so hoping it is good news.

No signs yet other than me being in a foul mood and feeling slightly tearful although nothing major, but still think AF is on its way. Time will tell.
Although its not usually for me to be pain free at this stage of cycle, it has happened before and I got excited that I must be pregnant which of course I wasn't so not making that mistake again.

Annie, when are you booking tube test? thinking that if we do need to have more treatment in the new year I will need to have my tubes checked, seeing as that is only thing I haven't had checked, be good to hear your experiences. Obviously hoping I wont need IUI/IVF but who knows.

So hungry, off to eat a really unhealthy dinner (turkey drummers and potao wedges) yes I know all processed crap, but it was quick and easy. will probably finish it off with a cornetto and soem beliguim chocs I git for b'day - see AF is def on its way

Love to all

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Donna - I'm so pleased that you enjoyed seeing your friend. I was so worried that it would upset you. I hope you get some good news about the loan tomorrow. Don't get too hung up about eating the odd meal of processed food; if af is coming (and I hope its not) then it is quite understandable. When is af due? I'm guessing that it is this weekend because i think you are a week ahead of me in the joy that is the 2ww.

Annie - sorry to be so brief earlier. You did yourself proud today! There'll be no stopping you now. Do you feel at all sore afterwards? It is a fantastic achievement, and it must be a great relief to you to have got through it. 
    

Polly - hope you are OK.

The phone hasn't stopped ringing today with people checking that dh is OK. It's meant I've told all his family about the job interviews which he was hoping to keep secret! BIL was unaffected too, thank goodness. We're off to Hereford at the weekend to stay with my MIL. We're travelling separately, and I'll get there hours before dh. MIL will interrogate me all about the interviews now; it will make a nice change from questions about when we are going to have children. I've noticed that she has recently chnaged from asking 'when' to 'if'!

Bye for now my dears,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

evening,

just watching more stuff on the news about the bombs, its terrifying that no body kniws who is redponsible or why.

Emma, af is due on tuesday, although I know deep down it hasn't worked all the thoughts that it might have are creeping in. I am really hoping for a miricle. cant face another month but guess I'll have to

cant believe holiday is nearly over, gone so fast but be glad to get back to work! although I really needed the rest and break from the long hours, being off work means I think to much working 8-6 doesn't leave much thinking time!

Speak tommorrow

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Annie, think I asked you before but would clomid help me? or is it used to regulate cycles? wondering if there is anything I can take to improve my chances?


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

We're fine, although we were in London this morning: appt with consultant. We drove in, so in fact were unaffected, but were impressed with the deployment of emergency services. Sorry short post, will get back tomorrow.

Love 
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All!!!

Polly - Glad to hear you & dh are both alright.

Donna - Clomid helps by encouraging ovulation to occur and more regularly! I hardly had any periods for the first year I came off the pill so that's why they eventually put me on it. When I was first taking the drugs I wasn't aware that I had vag issues. I thought DH & I were merrily bmsing!!! I don't know if you remember me telling you that - it is still soooo embarassing! They can't let you take it for too long so I don't think I'd be allowed back on it again.
Don't know when to book the tube test now. I'm thinking after my holiday. I've got an exam to study for leading up to that and I need to really focus on it as I've only got 4 weeks to cram! I won't be able to concentrate if I've got the test booked. 
I'm thinking that I will take some valium for the tube test. Although yesterday worked it wasn't perfectly comfortable. The smear was over so quickly, but I'm thinking I'd have to stay calm alot longer for the tube test.

Emma - I am a little bit sore today but I think it because the Nurse told me I have thrush. Think now I've been told, I'm feeling the symptoms!!!! I'll pick something up at the Chemist for it today. 
How is the 2ww wait going? Any signs or symptoms? How far in are you now?

I just want to say a HUGE - THANK-YOU to all of you Ladies. If it hadn't been for your support and encouragment I don't think I ever could have achieved what I did yesterday. 
I'd take you all out for champagne if I could - but will a cyber one do for now? Cheers Ladies! - and thank-you xxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

At long last - sunshine! 

Annie - cyber champagne all round! You definately deserve it, and a bottle or two of the real thing too. I _love_ champagne......
Wouldn't the tube test take your mind off the exam and vice versa? I can only speak for myself, but normally I get a bit stressed with exams, but this time, because my mind was on vag and babies too, I didn't.

Polly - so glad that you and dh are OK.

Donna - it's not over yet for you this month.

I am on day 20 of a 26 day cycle, so af is due next Friday/Sat. I have no symptoms of pg or af, but then I don't really get af symptoms until the day or 2 before af. I usually get a horrible spot the week before, and I haven't got that yet, but I don't think we can read too much into it. I'm also feeling a bit fat and bloated, but I think that probably means I've just eaten too much recently! 

I'm off to MILs this afternoon. I suspect that will involve sitting in lots of traffic jams on the motorways, praying that my dogs don't get travel sick or have a punch-up in the car.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Afternoon everyone,

Dont if you read it but Candy has had her baby this morning! a boy! isn't that fantastic  

hope you are all well?

Contated a debt managmetn place today and think we are going to get things sorted once and for all although we wont be able to get anymore credit for a while (which is good thing) just hope we don't need anymore treatment as wont be able to get a loan to pay for it!

Found out today that hours are being cut at wotk and soem of the new staff have been sacked! although at the moment I am safe it means that any pay rise is out of the question which is annoying seeing as I have a higher job so doing more work plus if they have cut hours we are going to be increibley short staffed so will mean we are all working harder- with no pay rise 
Also don't feel like I have aleg to stand on as Haven't got a contract yet and don't think he is the type of person to give them out! I'll be demanding 1 on monday but can't be to forcfull incase he sacks me!

Stared looking at other jobs today cause I am beginning to think that if we don't get more children in to the nursery it may fold! don't know how likely that is but think I may jump ship anyway just incase it sinks.

Had a few twinges today so think AF is on its way but at the moment feel ok about it, kinda feel like next month is THE month but not sure why I feel like that.

Annie, do you have to have scans if you take clomid? or do you just get it from gp and get on with it? is it expensive?

Emma, how are you? started writing your book yet? was thinking bet you could write a really good gardening book, why not combine your 2 skills?

Polly, how are things with you? how was it with consultant? things going as planned?

I'll check in later

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - I hadn't seen that Candy had her baby. Thanks for letting us know.

Glad that you've got everything sorted with your pennies. That'll be a huge weight off your mind. 
I didn't have scans when I was on Clomid. Think the Dr was happy that I was showing signs of ovulating and let me get on with it. It was prescribed from a Consultant at the local hospital. My GP referred me there when I was having problem periods. Only cost me a prescription charge - £6

Emma - Have a nice weekend with MIL! 

Polly - Hope you're putting your feet up for a change!!!

DH & I are currently deciding to go out for dinner or stay home with a take away. He's very indecisive "what do you wanna do" and all that.
Bought some stuff for the thrush this arvo. Wonder if I'll notice a difference? Wonder if that's why bms has been a bit sore? Might give it a go tonight and see!!!!  

Ciao for now Bella's!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Annie, enjoy your evening sounds lovely, having thrush would probably make bms sore I would imagine
Think I will leave it a couple of months and see what happens then maybe see gp about clomid.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend, back to work on monday for me but atleast I have a job think I will be rushed off my feet though

laters,

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

No BMS last night   I put on sexy underwear aswell!!!  DH was knackered and not willing to play. Think we've missed out this month. Not sure our last 2 efforts worked, well I'm convinced the last one didn't - so I'm not going to count a 2ww this month. My 2ww will probably last 3 weeks anyway with the state of my periods.

I've heard about a natural supplement I can take everyday that helps fight off thursh permanantly, so next time I'm near the shops I shall pop and buy some. I can find out the name again if anyone's interested?

DH is at work til late tonight so I'm off to spend some time with my friend and her girls. Her eldest is in a gymnastics competition this afternoon, so that'll be fun to go and watch.

Have a nice weekend everyone. Hope someone out there is getting some bms! or any "S" at all!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Just a quickie.I'm at MILs and don't really want to get caught on here! Hope you are all OK.

Donna- work sounds horrendous. If you can't get a contract I'd get out of there. Why are they sacking people if they are expanding?

Annie - sorry you had no luck with bms.

Got to go. Have a great weekend everyone.

Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Afternoon,

Emma hope your having a nice time with MIL and she is not quizzing you to much. They are sacking people because although we have expended and can now takemore children unfourtnatly we don't have the children to fill the spaces as yet! The owner in my opinion is ver greedy, you would think that he expended because he had a hudge waiting list but no he expanded because he wanted more children and more profit without the children actually being there to fill the places.
he employed new satff thinking that the nursery would be magically full over night and now that it isn't he had had to cut hours and sack some of the new staff all together untill there are more children.

Polly hope you are having a nice weekend, how are you?

Annie, no 's' for m either was inthe mood last night but all went wrong couldn't get it in then DH was getting stressed over it and so was I we were getting stressed with each other so i was no longer in the mood properly and he kept going soft so in the end we gave up.
Hoping it wont hapen again cause seem to be i a rut at the moment.
I got very upset about it last night thinking that we are always going to have some osrt of sex problem and never have sex but think I was over emotional last night.

few more twinges from me this morning so will keep you updated about AF

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Donna - Just spoke to DH and he sounded quite chirpy. He's on his way home so might be able to persuade him tonight. 

Don't worry that you didn't manage it last night. There will be times like this where you're stressed and DH is stressed. Don't let it get to you and become a bigger problem.

We'll all get there xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Thanks annie I know you are right.

We tried again today and really took our time, first tried me on top (usual position) but couldn't get position or angle right, so then tried from behind but that just wasn't working, so then tried DH on top with mu bum raised on pillows and a few nearly there tries before resorting back to me on top where we tried and tried again untill we made it only thing was it had taken so much mucking about Dh came instantly.
But atleast we managed it so hopefully DH will have his confidence back, I think that was the probably once we hadn't managed it once it kept happening because we were both thinking about it.

Really hoping to get sex sorted once and for all I long for the day when I can have sex without thinking abotu it if you know what I mean.

Sorry to hear you think you may have missed this month look on the positives will give you lots of time to practise without the pressure.
Hope DH is up for it tonight if you pardon the pun  

Talk to you tommorrow

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Afternoon all,

What a gorgeous hot    day and how typical that the weather gets loads better when I am going back to work.

Had wanted to do some planning for work this week but guess what I haven't so will end up trying to do it all today, I was always doing homework on a sunday when I was at school too 

Emma hope you had a nice weekend?

Polly how was yours?

Annie, did your evening go as planned last night?

Having mild back and tummy pains today as expected. although I have never thought it was a possibility this month you still hope don't you.
Hopefully I will be third time lucky!
Emma hows 2ww    

catch you later

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Beautiful Day!!!!

Guys what the hell happened on BB Friday night?!?! How did Science not go? There's not one person in there that I want to win now. Craig if I had to pick someone.

Still no bms!!! Seriously it's not funny now. I know DH has been working hard the last few days and is tired- but a woman has needs!!!
If periods aren't playing up too much the timing might be right for bms while we're in Zante! Would love to come home with a stowaway in my tummy!

Anyhoo. Just off to do some cleaning and then going to my Mother's. 

Speak to you all later xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Annie,

Craig to win -  really! think I'd pick anthony but thats at a push.
Have to say I didn't really like maxwell but wanted science to go definatly! Think craig will go next though.

Sorry you haven't had any action yet, its really frustarting isn't it. I think when your on hoilday will be the perfect time as you will both be so relaxed!

When is it your going away? see maybe it will be third time lucky for you to!
Very jealous your going away, we can't afford it at the mo but even when we could we never dared to book anything just incase I fell pregnant!
We went to Corfu 2 yeasr ago!!!
Hoping to go away in september if finances have sorted themselves! but still wont dare to go abroad just incase, although may book a last minute thing few days before or may just go away in this country only thing with that is weather is usually pants.

anyway enough of my waffle

off to local park now as they have a fund day type thing (lewisham peoples day) have lots of music, craft stalls, dispays etc so should be nice.

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning one and all,

It is good to be back home and here - I got FF withdrawal symptoms. My weekend was pleasant enough - and we went for lunch to a fabulous Michelin-starred restaurant on Saturday (thank goodness MIL was paying!) - but a little dull. MIL was too busy interrogating us about our plans to move that she didn't have time to cross-question me about babies! She is so funny. She asks dh and I the same questions, but separately, so that she can compare the answers. She would make a great dtective inspector!

Donna - I hope work is OK today. Don't take any c**p! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your af stays away today. 

Annie - hello! Zante sounds like a better place for bms, especially if you are more relaxed. It would certainly be a wondeful holiday souvenir. would your in-laws ben in the next room?!

Polly - hope all is well with you.

I have had mixed success with this sex lark at the weekend. We tried a couple of times at the weekend, and didn't have much luck (I was too dry, sorry if TMI). In truth, I couldn't relax properly there with my MIL hovering outside the bedroom door at crucial moments, for some reason. I began to get worried that I'd forgotten what to do and think it would never work again, but we tried again here last night (and this morning) and it was just fine! Dh is also still coming a bit quickly once inside, but I guess we can work on that.

We did lots of fruit-picking at the weekend, so today I am going to make lots of ice-cream and jam! I'm also very excited as my sideboard/french dresser is being delivered today. OK, perhaps it is all a bit Country Life Annie!

Have a great day everyone,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All!!!

Finally saw a bit of action last night    After every ocassion though I lay there afterwards thinking "did it work?". "did we do it right?" " did it go in?" 
I'm still not convinced it's going in as far as it should. Wigglies seem to be ending up in the right area. They're no longer half way down my leg so that has to be progress!?! It's just wether they get up far enough.

Donna - I went to Corfu last summer and loved it. Which part did you stay in? We were in Roda.
I go on 7th August to Zante for 2 weeks. Hope they've got internet access out there. Can't go 2 weeks without chatting to you guys! I hope you're right Donna and that it is 3rd time lucky for us.

Emma- Have you had a nice weekend?

Polly - hi, how are you doing?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Looks like it is all over for me this month.   I have really bad stomach cramps and lower backache. Actual af hasn't got going yet though. It is way too early - af isn't due until Friday/Saturday, but there we are. I'm trying not to get too down about it all, but I suspect once af kicks in properly I'll be a bit glum for a while. The first cramp was so bad I nearly keeled over. I was at my allotment picking peas and came rushing home to go to the bathroom!

Other than that the day has been going well. The sideboard arrived but is still covered in metre upon metre of packaging. I have made some yummy ice cream (strawberry and tayberry) too.

Hope you are all OK. Donna - you will have to be the success story for this month!

Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Work was ok today but I'm not sure how long I'll saty there most of the people are ok to wotk with and you don't get that everywhere do you!

Emma, sorry you had cramps today but remember it might not all be over, do you usually have pains this early? if not it could eb a good sign, could be inplantation  
Ice cream sounds fab although I have to confess haven't heard of a tayberry 

Had soem light cramsp todya and felt bit sicky this morning and have vraved sweet things all afternoon! infact DH jad just gone down the shops for choc, Cake and Ice cream -  thanks emma 
Other than that nothing else to report on AF front, don't think I'll be this months success though.

Annie glad you got some attention and I am sure you did it right and was in the right place etc. I think we are all the same and can't actually believe we are doing it so therefore must be doing it wrong, well thats how I feel anyway.
I cant for the life of me think where abouts in Corfu we went mind is a complete blank! i'll get back to you

Take care, off for a bath then going to sit and watch tv and munch all night

Donna xxx

p.s brother has is first baby scan tommorrow


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Only me again,

bit bored so thought I'd pop on here incase anyone had posted, sorry for my typing in my last post didn't realsie I had made so many mistakes but guess you guys are used to my many typos by now 
still no AF as yet but feeling like its on its way but then cant help wondering what I'll feel like when I am pregnant. Will I be convinced it hasn't worked then be surpprised or will I just KNOW that I am pregnant - does that make sense?
not spotting yet which I thought I would be so just hope I wont be late as that is pure torture!
Been FKC all day but have been busy so haven't had that much time to nip to the loo's

Hope you are well will give you up date tommorrow
off to eat cake now   

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi everyone   
I've been completely useless at posting this last week, sorry! 

Good to hear that you had the smear, Annie. Well done  . I laughed at your Maldives story - it sounds a bit like an experience I had in Tunisia when I had a rasul mud thingy, and found myself being "done" by a boy too young to look, I tried to cover myself up with my cossie when I lay on my back, but he was having none of it! You just think that they must be used to it, and that maybe it's no big deal, but in fact it did seem that every treatment I had at that spa that involved more than my toes or fingers was done by a male  . Not going back!

Sorry for ruining your keyboard talking about hoohoos! I think I must have picked that up on a US Board I read! 

Donna - what a nightmare at work. Have you called ACAS and determined your rights? I don't think that it matters that you don't have an actual contract - in fact if you have worked there more than 13 weeks, your employer must already have provided one, and if not, is deemed to have. Talk to ACAS and check it all out. 

You could take the bull by the horns and go and talk to the boss, and ask if there is anything that he would like you to do to help market the extra capacity. I wouldn't have thought it was that hard to get childcare places filled these days unless the nursery is in a really bad location, or doesn't have the right licences (which obviously isn't the case.) DON'T suggest ways of marketing to him, because if he is under pressure, he may have thought of loads of ways, but rejected them for reasons good and bad. If he seems to not have any ideas, then suggest that you come back to him with some for him to look at. Reassure him that you will think of cheap ways of doing it!! He might just want you to organise the others to go and leaflet, for example, and might be grateful to have the offer. Doing this will make you less likely to be in the firing line for a bit (if it gets to that), if he thinks that you take the business as seriously as him. I'm quite happy to critique your ideas before you take them back to him, if you want. If you want to look for other jobs, it won't stop you, and it might even help with a promotion if things then pick up. Bosses want things to go well, (and go their way!), and although you can't guarantee that they will always value you, if you are helpful, concerned, but stay on the right side of the relationship line, any half decent manager will be grateful that you can take some of the burden. You may read this and think it won't work, only you will know that, so I won't be offended if you think I'm talking cr*p!!

You mentioned a few days ago that it might be nice for us all to meet up. I've been thinking about it, but all I can think is what it is we have in common, and how difficult it might be to sit in a pub or wherever and talk about how much dilator or dh action we have been seeing lately. OK, it might be a right giggle, but we'd have to find something else to talk about, because you know what they say: life isn't all Hoo Hoo Hee Hee!!!           
Sorry! couldn't resist!!

Emma - I have decided that we are going to meet up, and kidnap you and hide you away for three weeks, and have a week each at your life. As your dh is away so much, we might get away with it. 

Just so you know, the cycle club cake rota is for making the cakes. I used to be great at baking them, but have lost the knack. So I bought a home-made looking one at Tescos. It went down extremely well, and fooled everyone, or would have done it I had taken the time to get rid of the packaging.   I object to the cake rota on the principle that it is a "ladies cake rota", and I don't see why the men can't go to Tescos as easily as me. In fact easier, as they are mostly WELL past retirement age, and so have more time than me. But then, they do fix my bike on a regular basis, so I suppose I can play the game. I was just going to buy a new bike when this surgery came up, and I was in a real pickle, as I didn't then want to buy one at that point, not being sure when I would want to ride it again. So as they had ALL got involved in helping choose the bike, I told them that I had a viral respitory infection, and was to do no excercise for three months. WELL! The dear old things that they are have been most concerned, and telling each other that I haven't been looking well for a while!! . So I am not sure when I will be back cycling, but as I am getting fatter by the day, I hope I'll feel up to it in  a couple of weeks or so.

How did DH's job interviews go? When will he hear?

Bd stands for (doing the) baby dance or baby dancing. It's used by other groups, and I guess I got in the habit. It took me a while to work out bms on this group!

Anyway, sorry for long post, hope everyone is well. 

Take care

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh Polly - You are so funny.  I've been thinking about us meeting up and was a bit unsure for a while too, wondering what we might talk about - but after your post I have no doubt that we would be fine. I think we can all talk for England and not exclusively about hoo hoo's!!!

Donna - How was the cake, ice-cream and choc last night I did see your post briefly yesterday, but only had time to have a quick read. My tummy did grumble when I read that. I decided on Sunday that I needed to go back to eating healthily again before my holiday. Started yesterday and wouldn't you know it  - the office had a jumbo sponge cake in for someones retirement. I cannot believe I kept my will power up and did not have a piece. It went well the rest of the day and then I went to see my friend and baby Ella. She enticed me with cakes, ice cream and I said thanks, but happy with a pint of water. I kept going right til 9.30 and then caved to try out one of those Cadbury snap things!!!
How are the AF signs today? Hope they're staying away and it's something else instead!


Emma - Are you alright? I was a bit worried when I read yesterday about that shooting pain you had. Has that stopped now?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Donna- I'm thinking of you today and keeping my fingers crossed (not literally, obviously, as it makes typing quite tricky).   
I'd never heard of tayberries either until recently. I think they might only be grown in the Herefordshire area. They are like raspberries but a bit longer and slightly sharper. They are much more fiddly to pick than raspberries so are rarely grown for supermarkets.
I too wonder what being pg feels like. I reckon it wil be really different and we'll wonder why we ever could have thought we might have been pg on these BFN months. At least we'll know for babies 2 and 3!

Annie - how is the car-hunting, extension-building, exam-studying going?

Polly - welcome back! I hope everything is healing well. Have you tried bms/s yet? I reckon cake-baking is only a success if you are in the right mood. The cake I have never been able to make is a Victoria sponge.

I don't know quite what was going on with my body yesterday. The cramps lasted for a couple of hours and were pretty bad, but af hasn't so far arrived (I know it will come within the next 10 minutes after having said that). Normally I don't get the cramps until or just after af starts. Could have been something dodgy I ate, instead, I suppose. I have also had a temperature drop today, which I usually get the day before af, and I am even clumsier than usual (I accidentally stood in my dogs' water bowl yesterday and sent water flying everywhere), which all seem to be signs of af. However, I haven't had the CM that I always get the day before af. I think my body is just playing tricks on me and I am at that stage in the 2ww where everything seems to be a sign of something or other. 

Dh has been offered one of the Manchester jobs and has turned down the other. Whether or not he accepts it will depend on the salary and long-term career prospects they offer. 

The thought of meeting up both excites me and fills me with such panic you wouldn't believe! I definately think we should once we all have our little bundles of joy.

More ice-cream making for me today - cherry and gooseberry. I'm quite horrified at the amount of egg yolks and cream I have used in the past day or so. Do you reckon that if ice-cream contains fruit that it counts towards one's 5 portions of vitamins a day?!

Take care everyone,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - I'm getting a sneaky feeling that your AF isn't coming. I have some pyschic qualities you know and can just tell these things! Can't describe it - just a feeling.

No progress on the car hunt yet. The insurance money has arrived so I'm going to have to give the hire car back real soon! I am going to look at a car tomorrow night. It's 30 miles away though! - trust me to like one that involves travelling to see it.

Started with the revision yesterday and panicked when I looked at the manual. I am so not ready. Not even close.

I myself am having some weird goings on down there. I have faint cramps that I usually get just before AF and as we speak lower back pain is kicking in. I'm only on day 23 though - how can this be? Is my body going to shock us all and have a short cycle - I can't believe that. 
Not 100% sure but I think there are slight traces of dark discharge today too. Could this be a result of the thrush tablet I took? 

Once again I have absolutely no flippin idea what is going on


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Annie - I would love your pyschic feelings to be true. If I hadn't had the cramps yesterday I wouldn't even be giving it much thought yet. I keep finding myself thinking about baby names, nursery decor, dates etc today which has to stop! It will just make the BFN worse. Anyway, enough about me.

Are you hoping to get another MG? Will you be able to get parts etc now if things go wrong?

Your weird goings on sound pretty similar to mine. Do you normally get cramps before the grand event (sorry I can't remember what you've said about that before)? Maybe the hot weather is making all our bodies go loopy.

Do you have lots to revise for your exam? Do you get study leave from work?

I'm going to be really lazy this afternoon and sit in the garden and read a trashy novel.

Donna - the suspense is killing me! I hope you are OK and still af-free.

Polly - hello!

Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Emma! 

We still have the MG at the moment, although we have put it up for sale. We're trying to replace our run around car (that was written off) and we're looking at a Polo tomorrow evening. We think everything is still alright for getting parts for the MG still. Looks like the TF part of the company might be bought soon with a bit of luck. Someone should - it's the best selling sports car in the UK!!!

I do usually get mild cramps before AF, but not usually as strong so soon before. It would be very unusual to have a reasonable length cycle all of a sudden. Last month was 37 days I think.  Don't know what is sending it all loopy!

I have LOADS to revise. I take back revise - study. I went on a study course for it in February and haven't picked it up since. I've forgotten most of it. There's no way I'll pass it now. It's not mandatory to do it, so I'm not too bothered. It would just be a bonus to have it. I get 1 hour a week during work time to study - although I hide papers under my work stuff and usually study for 2 hours a day. Still not enough!

Had news about our extension yesterday. The local council has said no to our provisional plans but have given us guidelines on things they might be willing to accept/ We've asked the architect to come and see us next week to help us decide where to go next.

I'm off to cook DH some dinner. Still being good today - I'm so hungry!

Speak to you later xxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Evening all!


Annie, what is your exam in - what do you do? I'm sure you'll be fine, you probably remember loads more than you think.

Annie and Emma, I know that we can fool ourselves with pg symptoms, but you both sound good to me! Fingers crossed!

Donna - we want news! Is af still staying away? Wouldn't it be great if all three of you were up the duff this month? Hope you are, and if you are, please don't leave me talking to myself here .... I do enough of that already! 

No bms for me yet, still hate the dilator thing, but still doing it properly. I went to get some more last Thursday - hence driving around central London as it was all kicking off. This time we phoned ahead, as when we tried to get them two weeks ago, they were sold out again (we are clearly not alone!). So this time I got sizes 4, 5 & 6. Not happy with No. 6, so decided to leave that for another week. As they were in fairly plain boxes, I was brave enough to carry them to another part of the shop (needed lube too) and went to the till at the most public part (although it wasn't busy). This is when I realised that the till display facing the queue clearly displays: "vaginal dilator No. 4" etc as they are rung in. That shop does NOT think about its customers at all!! Grrr!

AF is due in the next couple of days, possibly tomorrow, so I know that I have to give the "s" a try after that. I really don't want to, as I still feel a bit stingy, although funnily enough had no problems when the consultant examined me. We got our prescription for Cialis from him, but that was quite funny. being a Gynaecologist, he hadn't had any call to prescribe it before, and wasn't too sure what it was. Then, as dh isn't the patient, but I am, he had to prescribe it for me.  . There is a pharmacy right in the hospital, so we went down to get the prescription filled. The pharmacist's eyebrows nearly went through the roof!!  . After some hesitiation, he decided that it was best if he just looked at the surname and didn't notice the other details. Bless him!

Anyway

take care everyone, I'm off for an earlyish night.

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Polly, good to hear from you, very funny the image you put in my head of us 4 meeting up I hadn't thought of it like that. Just thought we gove such support to each other would eb great to put faces to the names. Loved emmas idea of meeting up with our little ones that would be fantatstic. Thank you for the suggestions about work it made a lot of sense, the owner is on hoilday for 2 weeks now as his son is getting married but think I will talk to him when he comes back, thanks for the advice  

Annie, good luck with the study, hope your body sorts itself out as Emma suggested could be weather not helping things. hope its not driving you to mad. Been really healthy today even had salad for dinner and went to aerobics after work! 

Emma, maybe you are up for a BFP this month have everything crossed for you and yes I'd count the fruit in ice cream as 1 of your portions - does that mean you can eat 5 bowls of ice cream  

As, for me NO AF as yet   
But have been getting cramps all day,felt bit sicky this morning which is usually on first day of af. I have been checking knickers all day! people at work must think I've had th runs 
Funny you mentioned CM emma, as I haven't had any either which I usally get on the lead up to af, so very strange. But as yet no spotting or anything! trying not to get hopes up but its really hard I want this to have worked so much       

Anyhoo off for a shower before BB

I'll keep you posted on AF

Donnaxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning!

Got to be quick - I'm off to the dential hygienist in a minute. She is very pg and wants to talk about babies all the time. Oh joy!

Donna - things are sounding good for you. Are you going to test?     

Annie - any more cramps/symptoms?

Polly - the things they put you through at that chemists! 

Got to run,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oooh it's sounding promising for you both Emma & Donna! I'm keeping everything crossed tightly for you. Is anyone testing?!?!? Keep us posted!

I'm still cramping. Maybe AF is going to come earlier than expected? Guess I shouldn't complain if it does. The only time I've had a "normal" cycle was when I was on Clomid.

Polly - The exam I am taking is basically on rules and regulation of mortgage lending. Not really related to the work I do as I am not a practicing financial advisor, but I guess in a big scale way it might be useful. Your experiences with the Pharmacy do me me giggle, but I do squirm in my seat whe you describe how the deal with these matters. Honestly! - someone needs to open a pharmacy that deals solely in these issues and has some discretion. Well done with your progress though. Your doing phenomenally well. I'm sure you'll be having plenty of "S" before long.

Emma - Have fun with the hygenist. Mine always tells me off for not flossing!

Donna - Glad things are improving at work
Have a good day everyone xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

What a waste of a morning! The receptionist could find no record of my appointment (even though I had their little card) and had double-booked, so I have to go back tomorrow. And I'd braved the market day traffic (scary old people with no spatial awareness) and paid for parking too.   Rant over now.
Annie - they always tell me off for not flossing properly too!

A strange thing happened this morning when I went to the bathroom (apologies in advance for the graphic details). I did a poo. When I wiped there was a tiny bit of blood on the toilet paper. I don't know which bit/hole of me this came from and what it means. There has been nothing since. 

On a completely different, but much more pleasant note, I am meeting my Japanese friend at the weekend in London. We are going out for lunch, but I am so out of touch that I don't know where to go. Does anyone know any good, but not ridiculously expensive, restaurants in London? Perhaps afternoon tea is a better idea - my friends from overseas always love that.

Bye for now,
Emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I wish I went into London often enough to make a recommendation! I can count on my fingers the number of times I've been in to the Big Smoke in the last few years. I'm thinking Polly might be your girl for this one!!!

Strange but not unheard of with your odd happenings this morning. You might have been a bit over vigorous with your expelling of toxic waste and hurt your innerds! Must be all that ice cream you've been eating  

Hope you have a nice time with your friend at the weekend.  I've got a packed weekend. I'm going to be knackered come Monday. DH is off on a golfing weekend with the boys so.... Friday - off to see my friend who had twin boys 2 weeks ago with my Mum (confined space for an hour as we travel ) then dash back to drop Mother off and head 30 miles out the other side of town to a party. Stop there for a couple of hours and then back into town to a friends house. Collect one 10 year old and go queue for our HARRY POTTER books at midnight (my idea, huge fan). Stay at said friends for the night more than likely reading book til the wee hours. Head home Saturday morning and read HP all day long  
Stop reading or finish book by 4pm. Then make ones self look fabulous and head out for a night on the tiles with the girls  
Crawl out of bed Sunday morning and possibly drive to Weymouth to see Grandparents. This part is subject to state of affairs after Saturday night!!!!!

Totally chocca as you can see. At least it'll keep my mind off these darned cramps. Had an evil shooting pain earlier this morning ??


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - I feel tired just reading about your weekend! Sounds great though. I'm a huge HP fan too, but don't know any children of the right age to hang around a bookshop at midnight. Mine is coming by owl  from Amazon on Saturday. In my previous life as a bookshop manager I met JK Rowling; she came to the shop to do a signing when the 1st book came out in paperback. She was so lovely - the nicest author I ever met - and so down to earth; I wonder if that has changed?

I reckon Polly is the London expert too. Dh goes to loads of restaurants with clients but they are all really expensive (the firm pays) and/or in the city, which isn't a very interesting location for a day out.

I can't settle to anything today. I've noticed every month that as the 2ww nears its end I spend more and more time on FF looking for a magical post where someone has _exactly_ the same symptoms as me and then goes on to be pg!  And it is raining here now..... Should have known that would happen as i went and bought myself a sunlounger this morning.

Until later,

Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening everyone,

It is so hot and humid here I feel faint I am so hot and sticky!
work was mad todaywas short staffed then someone had to go home cause there daughter was ill so we were run ragged tommorrow will be much the same. Think I'll be on my tod with 4 babies!

Got through another whole day without AF! Having cramps onand off but seem to be getting better and less frequent.
I was convinced I wasn't pregnant so was all prepared for AF and think I would have taken it quite well if it had arrived yesterday! It is now LATE so mind has begun to wonder off to pregnancy world!
If or maybe When AF arrives think I will take it badly now I have got hopes up, so cruel of body to play tricks

Hope you are all well, Annie your weekend sounds fab

So hot got to have a bath, probably pop back later.

Donna xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Evening all,

Donna - I'm so relieved to hear your af hasn't arrived yet. I'm not the least bit surprised that you have wandered into baby world. Are you going to test?

I'm pretty sure that af is on the way for me. I have the dull stomach ache and CM this evening. I too had been drifting around with baby thoughts all day, and had even begun to think I could be pg. I think that I want it so badly that my body plays tricks on me. Oh well, there's always next month, or the one after etc.....

Got to go now and cook some food.

Take care everyone,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - OMG!!! Are you going to test? Have you ever been late before or are you a clockwork girl? This is so exciting! Ohh - let it be, let it be, let it be!!!!

Emma - I do that thing too where you search for someone whose describing symptoms the same as me and then discovers they're pg!!! how about you - any signs of AF??!

WHAT IF YOU ARE BOTH PG!?!?! How fab!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Started spotting   
Thought I would if I had a bath as that always seems to get things working!

I am usually a clock work girl, sometimes a day early but never late, so very strange and explains why I let my self get a little excited

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Sorry about the spotting, Donna, but it's not over til it's really over. i hope your bath was not too hot?

Emma - what part of London? We can probably come up with something...

Annie - what a weekend you have organised! Phew!

Love

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - Sorry hun    I was really starting to think this was the one. Can't blame you for getting exciting this time. Chin up lovie - we're gonna get there xxxx


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

New Home Ladies!

Loads of love and    

Holly C xx


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

New home this way ladies

Take care Donna 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?action=post;board=7.0

xx 
Holly C


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Donna, I'm so, so sorry that it hasn't worked for you this month my dear. It sounded so promising yesterday. I guess we'll know by this evening if it is spotting or full blown af. 

Polly - I'm thinking that somewhere nearish to the river (either side) on the Westminster to Tate Modern stretch would be good. Any thoughts? It probably ought to be somewhere very 'English', and definately not too smokey or noisy.

Annie - how are you? Any more cramps?

I'm having a second attempt at seeing the dental hygienist this morning. Not my idea of fun.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Emma - good luck with the hygenist today! No cramps today as such, but did have lower back pain last night. Guess I'm just going to have to wait and see. There's no way I'd be pg. We only had bms 3 times recently and I'm sure the wigglies didn't get high enough.

Enjoy the sunshine today on your new sun lounger. I'm going to ask DH to get ours out so I can read Harry Potter in the garden on Saturday!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - you never know. It is possible that it worked. My GP said that she'd seen people who got pg just from semen at the entrance without any penetration at all. Surely at least one of us has to get pg soon! HP plan sounds a good one. I'm going to have to fight with dh over who reads ours first.

Hygienist was fine but dull. The regular one had gone on maternity leave earlier than expected, and the new one wasn't very chatty.

In an attempt to stave off af I bought lots and lots of tampons today!  I'm annoyed with myself for getting carried away with baby thoughts this month when I was so determined not to.

Off to the allotment now. 

emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma -I agree - one of us is surely due to get pg soon?!? 

A girl I went to school with works here and on my way out at lunch I saw her in reception with her brand new baby. Never liked the girl at school and couldn't help feel waves of hate and jealousy as I saw her beaming from ear to ear. Wench.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Evening all,

Donna - hope you're ok. I've been thinking about you all day. 

Annie - sorry about your baby/colleague experience. You'll be grinning from ear to ear one day soon too, I'm sure.

I'm thinking I might test tomorrow, but I'm not sure. I can't stand this waiting any longer. I have cramps again, but my temperature which was low this morning (a sign that af is on the way) is now sky high. perhaps I actually have some sort of stomach virus. Does anyone else chart their temperatures? I've been doing it for a few months now and mine never seem to follow the right pattern for being either pg or not being pg. I guess there are so many other factors that can influence it. The gynaecologist told me that it was a waste of time.

Dh and I are planning to experiment with 'S' this evening! We've been managing it (and enjoying it) pretty much every day, but only in the missionary position (sorry if TMI). I think we should extend our repertoire.....

Hope you are OK. Donna, you will get though this as you always do.  

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Was very excited this morning as spotting had stopped! was convinved I was preg, but DH and I decided we would still wait a few days to see what happened.
All day I have been in and out of the loo and still nothing so was really starting to belive that my dream had come true.
At 5pm I got really hot and had a terrible stonach cramp, and back pain didn't know whether to sit, stand or kneel went to the toilet at  5.30 and AF and started!

I feel like $hit now, and have really bad stomach ache and feel sick -  not going to stop me comfort eating though

Nice drem while it lasted, just feel silly for believing it mught actually come true.

Hope you are all ok

Emma, Dh and I really can't master missionary I don't know why we just can't get it in how stupid is that!

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

aah Donna - go get a big hug from DH and have something chocolatey. Don't feel silly for believing - makes you human xxx

Emma - How exciting that you're testing. Darn - I might not have a chance to log on tomorrow. I might have to make time. Good Luck - Hoping for a   for you & DH

Fingers crossed!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Sorry Emma My last post was a bit me me me me.........

Sending you loads of       
I'll even do you a NO AF Dance

       

Hoping you get the   you deserve

Just sent DH out for choc! feeling so lousey  

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna, what a B*mm$r! I'm really sorry it wasn't your month, but don't give up, and don't feel too down. Have lots of chocolate!  .

I'm sure that you will be pg before Christmas. Won't that be great?  I promise it!!!! Don't feel daft for thinking that it had worked...it's what we all do. I'm absolutely the least likely of  all of us to get pg, and I'm not giving up yet. Keep positive.

Emma - I will put my thinking cap on (actually I'll get dh to put his on, and I'm sure we can suggest somewhere for you to meet your friend. There is always the Ritz or Savoy, I think the Savoy is cheaper, and of course it is all you can eat! Anyway, we'll get back to you.

Annie, are you still revising?

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Donna - I'm so sorry. I guess we'll be on the same bms/testing cycle next month (I think my cycle must be shorter than yours as you were a week ahead of me at one stage). I hope you ate lots of chocolate. 
It is not at all stupid not to be able to manage the missionary position - I can't manage any other position! I think for me it is because that is similar to the position I used with the dilators. We managed S, but didn't try anything new, last night  . It was just too hot for experimentation!

Polly - interesting ideas. Someone else said they'd really enjoyed afternoon tea at the Savoy recently. I don't like the Ritz. I've never actually been in have an irrational dislike of the place.

After everything I said yesterday I'm too scared of disappointment to test. I'm so convinced that af is on the way. I had more cramps yesterday evening and burst into tears for no reason - a sure sign. I ate pizza and drank wine yesterday evening as I'm so fed up with being good and getting nowhere.

We spent yesterday evening deliberating over whether or not dh should accept the job offer in Manchester. The pay they are offering is less than he gets now, but we'd still be able to buy a much bigger house than the current one. He can't decide if it is the right career move - short term pay cut with long term partnership prospects. Anyway, on the assumption that we are going to move, I have to go and look at carpets this morning. We are going to buy the blandest, cheapest carpet possible. How thrilling.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Guys

Just a quickie before I have to leave again. Been in town this morning and bought a new outfit for tomorrow night. Forgot to tell you all that I'm on yet another hen night next saturday. I'm going to the School Disco at Hammersmith Palais. I'm actually really excited about going. Had all sorts of trouble tracking down something to wear. Came away with 2 possible's today - a pair of cropped trousers and an incredible micro mini skirt! Now need a shirt, tie, and shoes. If I get brave I'll post a picture after next Saturday. Think I'll send it personal message though - don't want the world and his wife to see me in a state!

Emma - still sending BFP vibes to you

Donna - Sending you a big squeeze. Chin up chuck - it'll be you soon

Polly - Taking the weekend off revising! Did alot this week and clearly have a long way to go. Maybe I should do some more on sunday? ..... Na!


HARRY POTTER TONIGHT!!!!! - oh I have waited so long I shall cherish every page. 

Ciao for now all. I'm off to see the twins!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - you should _definately_ post a picture! Sounds like you are going to have a fabulous weekend. 

Af is definately on its way. I have had terrible cramps all morning, and thought I was going to pass out in Waitrose. I wish it would just get going properly and put me out of my misery. 

Back later,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

So glad this week is over it has been manic at work. The owners have cut hours so they save mpney but have no idea about staff to child ratios etc so we were all really struggling and times very short staffed as staff went sick! I'm exhuasted!
Thinking about leaving, more like jumping off a sinking ship! sad thing is nursery could be so much better if it was run better, I am going to take polly's advuce though and talk to him when he gets back, thing is he has no people skills and treats everyone like we were put on thus earth for him!
Thing stopping me leaving is it will be better to fall pregnant when I am in an established job, this while getting pregnant is pi$$ing me off, your whole life is on hold isn't it!
I hope I get pregnant soon as its really getting me down  

Emma, how are you going? any sign of AF? I hope not    

Annie, enjoy your weekend and Harry Potter! please post a picture would be great to see what you look like.

Polly, your be pregnant soon to honey, I hope we are all pregnant by xmas.

If I'm not pregnant by christmas ( thats only 5 more goes!) then may consider more IUI -  it was just so hard last time

Emma be really good to have you as my cycle buddie, I usually ovulate on day 15/16
but you may not need bms anymore   

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma, hope things aer ok with you?

Been reading a ttc web page it suggests that the best position for ttc is missionary as it allows deep penetration and the worst to be standing, sitting or women on top! although my friend who is 26 wks preg says she conceived being on top!
But thinking I really need to get to grips with missionary!

Also said that it may increase your chances of getting pregnant if you have sex every 2-3 days throughout the month, not sure if I'll be able to dau that (low sex drive) but will give it ago this month as really want to get pregnant and maybe if we weren't only having sex when I ovulate then we would be more relaxed.

Its so hard though to have bms on week nights as we are both so shattered after work plus DH doesn't get in till 8pm
will try though and see what happens may start taking evening primrose oil as that increases sex drive (worked before) may be physcological but who cares if it works!

Anyone know if evening primrose oil is safe for ttc?

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Tested this morning and BFN, I'm afraid.   Af still hasn't got going and I'm having horrible cramps and nausea. I don't know why this is happening as my cycle is normally very predictable. I'm disappointed but life goes on. 

I'm also p****d off that af is late as it means it will be in the heavy stage tomorrow when I am sightseeing in London with my Japanese friend; I'd probably feel  more like lying on a sofa and feeling sorry for myself.

Hope you are all having a good weekend. I'll pop back later.

Emma, xxxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma - I'm so sorry about the bfn.  

I wrote you a longish post about places to eat in London, but all sorts kicked off here just as I was ready to post, and it appears that I didn't. Anyway, give me an idea of what kind of place you are looking for, and when I repost, I might be able to narrow down the choices a bit. We're pretty knowledgable about the area from the National Theatre to the Tate Modern, so let me know what kind of atmosphere and budget. Pub, or proper restaurant, kind of thing.

We are in turmoil, as it now seems that DH's younger son is in a pretty bad state mentally. I was only saying yesterday (again) that I was  a bit worried that he was depressed. We went to see Oasis with him and I felt he wasn't good at all. It now seems beyond depression, and DH was with him til late last night and again today, and is trying to get someone to see him. All very worrying. So forgive me if it's later that I get back to you about the restaurants, it's a bit difficult to concentrate.

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Polly - don't give my eating/dining needs a second thought; you've got more than enough going on. Your dh's son is very lucky to have a father (and you) who spot these things and care enough to want to help. How old is he? You must both be going out of your mind with worry.

My b*****y body and its strange goings on seems incredibly trivial in comparison. Af _still_ hasn't got going. I can only conclude that because I wanted to be pg so badly I've fooled myself into thinking I am. We went shopping this morning and every second person was a hugely pg woman!

I got my Harry Potter this morning, but haven't read it yet. I went into the garden ready to sit for hours on the sunlounger, but my neighbours have friends over and it is just too noisy to concentrate (much screeching and loud music).

Donna - hope you are OK. If evening primrose oil works for you then go for it! It doesn't matter what you use or what you do as long as you are happy and comfortable with it. I don't know anything about whether or not it is safe.

Annie - hope your manic weekend is going well. Did you dress up for the Harry Potter event?!

Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone. I'm not around much tomorrow (so you are spared my ramblings about my af/non-af). I'm off to drink lots of wine and put the BFN behind me!

Emma, xxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi everyone,

Hope you are enjoying your weekend Annie, how much of Harry Potter have you read?

Emma, realy sorry its BFN, I hope for you that AF hurrys because it is awful when it is late lick your body is laughing at you I know how it feels hun I am never late either so this month was horrible for me.
But as you say on wards and up wards and as you seem to be enjoying bms just think how much more fun you can have next month    
Sorry - just trying to cheer you up!

Polly, sorry to hear about DH's son hope he is ok. Feel free to come on her and rant to us if needed it must be hard for you at the moment being there for DH and his son, but I have no doubts that your are being a fantatic help and support to them both.

Looks like AF is nearly finnishing for me so haven't had much time for tampons as didn't really want to try then at work.
Been suffering with headaches the last few days which I don't usually suffer form so with that and AF I have been feeling a bit sorry for myself but trying to picj myself up and think about trying again.

My mum had a thought (and I ma sure she was only trying to make me feel better) maybe I was nearly pregnant or something and thats why AF was late, kinda like body trying to decide whether I should be pregnant this month, Or maybe I was preonant but it didn't all conect at the right times or something. They were her thoughts anyway even if they are a bit wacky, but she seems to think its a sign that it wont be too long now before I am pregnant - so hope shes right

Have a lovely time tommorrow Emma its probably just what you need, its my mum's birthday so she is having a BBQ so that should be nice

Love to all

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Helo again,

Donna - I like your mum's idea of being nearly pg - far better than not being pg at all! I reckon you have to go through 2 nearlys before the real thing. Work stress and the hot wetaher could be causing your headaches, perhaps?

The being late with af is the worst of all. I keep thinking that maybe the test was wrong, but in my heart of hearts I know it wasn't and I'm not pg. On the bright side, at least I'll enjoy bms again next month (I assume, although I worry I'll forget what to do during af).

BBQ sound good. Have a lovely time.
love,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Exactly, look on the bright side loads moe bms! of course you wont forget what to do I ma sure once you have mastered it properly (which you have) its like riding a bike.
Want to try and really enjoy it this month as I am sure that will help with getting pregnant - plus I want to for me and DH to!
Thats why I want to take evening primrose oil so that I really want ot do it each time rather than at times having to froce myself becuse I am ovulating. AF being late is worst of all isn't it I always think if its going to come much better to be on time as you know where you stand, hope it arrives soon so you can move on honey xx

Nice bath and a lay down for me
I'll probably pop on tommorrow but I know you all are very busy and have plans so I'll talk to you on monday

Have a nice weekend everyone

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma - I hope that you have a really good day out. At the cross roads of Stamford Street, Blackfriars Road and Southwark Street there are a couple of good places: The Mad Hatter (pub/restaurant), 242 (on south east corner, up a little rough-surfaced road under railway arch) a winebar/bistro, used to be fantastic, haven't been for a few years; the Oxo Tower (unusual, never eaten there, no idea about prices, so ring first?) Round the National Theatre, in Upper Ground, there is the Mulberry Bush (pub/bistro) which is OK, and the Gourmet Pizza Co in Gabriel's Wharf - crowded, but lots of arty crafty shops to look around afterwards. Also there's an All Bar One in that area. Have a look at this website:

http://www.london-se1.co.uk/restaurants/

This may be too late, but have a good time anyway!

DSS has been seen and it now seems that his problems are likely to be short-lived, although that doesn't help him at the moment. He is seeing meanings and messages in the most mundane things, and is quite paranoid. DH brought him home here last night, and has taken him to his mum's today. That has thrown our household right out, as we have my niece coming to stay later today for a week, have done no cleaning or shopping and were a bit worried that we might have to cancel her to look after him, which would have been a big disappointment to her. However, it has all worked out, (except I have to clean the house, and I have forgotten how to do that!), and as long as the XW doesn't pull her usual stunt of keeping DH there longer than she should (grrrr), we might yet rescue everything. Anyway, love to all, just gotta run. Hope everything is ok, I'll keep an eye on you this week, but might not post much due to DN being here.

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Polly, I see from your ticker that we are on same cycle this month, meaning that me you and emma will all be able to hold hands through 2ww!
Glad to hear that DHS is better or atleast been diagnosed hopefully it wont be to long until he his back on his feet.
Have loads of fun with DN

Emma, hope you had a fantastic time today can't wait to hear all about it.

Annie, has you haven't been on today I assume you either had such a good night last night that you are still in bed or you decided to drive to your mums. Hope your weekend was as fab as it sounded.

For me weekend hasn't been that great as I haven't been feeling well, have had headache since thursday and cant seem to shift it, it hasn't been bad today but its still there if you know what I mean. Been so tired this weekend to just haven't been able to stay awake.
AF has finnished meaning that I was only on for 1-2 days and I was quite light to, this isn't like me so adding that to me being late and feeling $hit since AF arrived DH thinks I could still be pregnant! AF was also a brighter red than normal (sorry TMI) anyway may test in the morning just to get silly thoughts out of our heads I ate it you have the hell of 2ww but then you still read into things when af as arrived.
Silly I know but I cant help hoping that DH is right

speak to you all tomorrow

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hellloooooo Ladies!

I have returned from Harry Potter hibernation! What a weekend - knackered doesn't come close to how I am feeling right now. Harry was collected at midnight on Friday after approx 200 miles of driving that day. The bookshop had a fantastic party down there, lots of kiddies dressed up. I sat at home all day Saturday and managed to get most of it read before heading out for the night. Think I did the whole book in about 7/8 hours. It was fab!
Had a bit too much sun yesterday I think. Felt pretty rough last night. My friend and I spent most of the day driving around the countryside in the MG and experienced a little bit of over exposure. It's going to be a long day today.
Think AF might be coming soon. Getting some familiar tingly cramps and feel so sick this morning, which I think was probably the sun yesterday. Can't believe you're all cycle buddies this month! They say good friends often co- ordinate cycles.
I haven't got time to explain right now but there's something I wanted to talk to you girls about when I get a chance. I've got something playing on my mind and I would really appreciate your thougts on it.

Polly - So sorry to hear about DSS. I hope that he is able to talk to the person that you & DH have found for him and work through his troubles. Depression is really horrible and so incredibly difficult to pull yourself out of. I only suffered from it mildy at the end of last year and even then I didn't believe I'd ever feel happy again. Finding the right person to help you through it is the most important factor. You have to feel that they understand you. I'm sure this is a real worry for you & DH right now, but please know that you have absolutely done the right thing for him by being there and for him and putting him on the road to recovery.
Hope you have a lovely time with your niece this week. 

Emma - So sorry it was a BFN. Our bodies can be so cruel sometimes. Has AF got going yet? Chin up hun. You made such phenomenal progress this month with all that bms you were having. Another month like that and your body will have no choice but to become pg! 
How was your friend from Japan? Did you have a lovely time in London?

Donna - Have you managed to shift your headache now? Did you do a test in the end? I also love your Mums idea of being nearly pregnant.What a nice positive thought to keep in mind.

Righto - off to work I go. Have a lovely day everyone xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

I really missed you guys yesterday! I have a wonderful day in London with my Japanese friend. She has managed to extend her stay for 6 weeks so we can meet up many more times. Polly - thank you for the suggestions. They were definately on the right lines. I had decided on the OXO tower brasserie, but my fiend had other ideas. She is so funny - if her guide book recommends somewhere she has to go there and can't go anywhere else until she has ticked all those places off her list. Anyway we ended up going to Porters near Covent Garden (touristy, stodgy, pie-based food) because she wanted to. It was just the kind of food I didn't want to eat on a hot sunny lunchtime, but there we are. (Actually, it was where dh and I had our first date in Jan 1994!) We spent the rest of the day shopping and nattering.

Af got going properly on Sunday morning. I don't know if it is the weather, or I have a virus, or quite what but I have never felt so bad with it as this month. I still am having cramps and nausea on and off. Anyway, enough of my moaning.

Polly - you sound like you are on the right track with DSS. I can only echo what Annie said. I had depression for a few months at uni, and it is the most horrible feeling in the world. I thought I'd never feel happy or normal again. Good luck with it all.

Annie - your weekend sounds fab! I still haven't started Harry P. I'm most intrigued by your post......

Donna - OMG. It is possible you know. I can't wait to hear what the test shows. I hope you're feeling a bit better soon. 

Donna, Polly - I love your tickers. How did you get them?

We are definately going to move, so this week I'm going to touch up all the paintwork and do any odd DIY jobs around the house. I've got a man coming to measure for a carpet today (how dull is that - I bet the odds of him being yumny are rather slim). We want to try to get it on the market by the end of next week.

Got to dash,
Take care everyone,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I have never once had a good looking man arrive to do work at my house. Always old, less attractive chaps.

Where are you moving to Emma? Are you going up North?

So glad you had fun in London this weekend.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I am going stir crazy waiting for the carpet chappie to arrive!

Annie - dh's new job is in Manchester but we are looking for houses in Chester. 

Emma,


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh Emma - I luuurv Chester - it's a beautiful town. We could all meet up at the races one day!

Any joy with the carpet chap yet?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Chappie came. As expected, not at all hunky. Mind you he did like my dogs, and has one of his own of the same breed, so not all bad. Is there anything more boring (in terms of shopping) than carpets?

Annie - I love Chester too. I've really come round to the idea of living there. It's the buying, selling, and moving that fills me with horror. One of the houses we're thinking of is right by the race course.

Hope you all had a good day. I'm still on the edge of my seat trying to read betwen the lines about your earlier post, Annie.

Bye for now, Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Emma, click on my ticker and your be able to make one of your own! Fantastic that you are moving hope DH will be happy in new job. I have felt quite rough this AF so maybe it is weather.

I decided not to test as it would be to good to be true and I know I am not pregnant just feeling crap!

Annie, glad you had a nice but busy weekend. What is ti that you want to ask us I am very intreeged  

Polly, how are you?

Work was very busy again today I want to leave but as I have only been there 3 months looks better on my cv to stay plus don't want to start new job then fall pregnant!
Better to be pregnant where I am the start new job after maternaty leave maybe
aarrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhh really need to get pregnant fast so I can leave that place.

Really hoping it will happen this month as I do every month just don't feel sexy at the mo

Anyhow must dash hope you are all well

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Thanks for the ticker tip Donna! Not sure about the rabbits though.....

I think it is quite normal to feel unsexy just after af. You'll be raring to go by bms time, I'm sure!

Emma, xxxxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Annie, Donna, you both sound dehydrated - are you drinking at least 2 litres of water a day? 

Glad you had a good day Emma.

I wonder if the weather/dehydration is making AF worse than usual, I'm having a painful time too. But as I almost didn't notice the last af due to surgery/general anaethetic and morphine (  ), I suppose I have to make up for it!

DSS is with his mum, and nothing worse seems to have happened. Thanks for all your comments. I'm by no stretch an expert, but the words schizophrenia and paraniod come to mind. It might be lifestyle induced, and go away, and obviously we hope there is no longterm damage. I have suffered twice from depression, and it's horrible, as you both say, Annie & Emma. You just can't remember how to feel happy. Anyway, we are all living proof that it is get-over-able eventually.

Emma, very disappointed that you are moving away from me!!! 

Annie - put us out of our misery - what's the mystery?  

Donna - put us out of our misery - go and test!!

DN has worked very hard today, she's helping me to organise my filing at work, and has been great. Really enjoying having her to stay. 

Anyway, gotta go, she's asking what I'm doing on line!!

Love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

No polly I don't drink enough take 2litres to work with me every day and have to force myself to drink 1 litre. In the winter I go all day without a drink I just don't get thirsty.
Made myself drink lots of water over weekend as I thought this my help with headaches.

AF hasn't stopped as I thought it had its just brown (sorry tmi) So as AF hasn't compltely stopped I don't think I am pregnant just grabbing on to any bit of hope that I might be
Do you think it is worht testing? DH keeps putting ideas into my head that I might be but I know he is dreaming to! do feel really exhausted at the moment but then that could be work
oh its all so confussing

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hay annie, get a ticker so we can keep track of where your at.

Looks I will be testing in the morning I have no idea why I am doing it as I know it will be negative than I 'll be in a bad mood all day for being stupid enough to do it in the first place. Well by doing it it gets the last pregnancy test out of the house so I wont have this nonsense again. DH thinks I am pregnant so it will shut him up to but then he'll be in a bad mood if its or should I say when its negative!
I hate all this! why I cant I just except that AF has arrived and be thankful that it has benn short and light without having that thought at the back of your head that makes you believe you could be pregnant!

Decided that if DH gets some compensation for being knocked off his bike then we will tempt fate and book a hoilday in march next year (sure way to gaurentee i'll be pregnant by then!) would love to go sooner but don't have the holiday time left due to taking so much for IUI earlier in the year!

Donna xxx

Sorry this whole ttc lark is driving me insane lately


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - I would get a ticker but mine would say "day * of god knows when" I would if I was having regular enough cycles  
Did you test this morning? Think it was the right thing to do - you sounded like you were going a bit insane with the wondering.

Emma - Knew the carpet chappie wouldn't be an exact replica of Robbie Williams! I hear what you're saying about the whole buying/selling/moving process - but it will be worth it. Can't remember if I mentioned that we had word back from the Planner at the Council about our extension. Said it was too big! Architect is coming to see DH on Wednesday to have a chat about way forward.

Polly - Think I was dehydrated looking back. I usually get through 2 litres of water a day at work and a good few pints of water at home.Didn't really have much water at the weekend, although a fair amount of another type of liquid! Glad DSS is alright for the mo - let us know how he gets on.


No mystery in what I said yesterday and now I'm feeling a bit daft. Just something that plays on my mind alot and I believe was one of the causes of my depression earlier this year. Suddenly dawned on me to talk to my cyber friends about it. You've got me through so much already. It's just I don't know where to start with it.

Well I guess it starts with the fact that I value all of my friendships very much as I've never had the close knit family - my friends have always been my family to me and I had an amazing circle of close friends at one point. We all got on incredibly well and spent alot of time together. 
One of the girls (I'll call No1 to make it easier) then distanced herself from one of the others (no2) I guess and maybe even decided she didn't like her that much after all. I was very close to both of them which made things rather uncomfortable for a while. I went on holidays with No1 and DH is best friends with her DH. We were more like Sisters. I believe that when she decided to distance herself from No2 she didn't like me still spending time with her. 
During the end of my Father's illness he was in and out of hospital and respite and I of course was spending every waking and sometimes sleeping moment with him. I only managed to speak to people that contacted me for a while. This is where I started to notice that things weren't going so well with me & No1. I think she felt that I hadn't thought of her and had thought of No2. From my point of view No2 is able to e-mail through the day and at that time it was the only way people could get to talk to me. Maybe No1 felt neglected?
To cut a long story short it's all gone downhill from there really. No1 and i have drifted further and further apart. I've gone from having her as someone I saw or spoke to daily to someone I see or speak to rarely. On the occassions that we do now get together it's always like the good old days. She has remained good friends with the rest of the circle and often now I feel rather left out. New friends have come on the scene in the last 18 months and beause of my Pops passing away I spend alot more time with my Mum. Another close friend lost her DH almost 2 years ago and I spent/spend alot of time with her. no1 & DH have become good friends with another couple in the circle and I will be honest and say I get jealous.
Well since my Dad went I have felt this increasing feeling of lonliness and this situation started playing more and more on my mind. I started to look at all the friendships I had and asessed who I was really close to. It started thoughts of "are they really my friend?" and also "No1 obviously hates me" "everyone hates me". "This situation is entirely my own doing and it's because I'm a horrible person."
It made me start to have a good look at the person I am and how people perceive me and how I want them to see me. I want people to say that I'm a good friend, nice person. Truth is I think they think nice girl but she can be a bit of a b**ch. Think this is because I've always been so confident and outspoken and looking back now people might have been a bit intimidated by that.
This got me really depressed and I was so down about it for a long time as I'd never want to be that person. Racing around trying to be extra nice to anyone and trying to sound them out about how they felt about me. 
I feel so confused about how I should feel about this. For a while I felt that this is who I am and true friends will love me for who I am. That they would recognise that the b**ch side of me is not all of who I am, just a part of it and love me for it ragardless. Concentrate on the friends I have got rather than the ones I might not have anymore.
Oh God, I'm crying now. I'm so sorry guys, this must sound so lame. 
I was feeling so much better about things after our trip to the Maldives, but I've started pulling myself back towards these thoughts again that I'm a truly horrible person and a horrible friend and lots of people out there really hate me.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning!

I'm very puzzled by my ticker. It is showing day 4, when I'm actually on day 3, but when I go to amend it all the dates are set up correctly.

Donna - good luck with the testing. At least it will put your mind (and dh's mind) at rest, one way or the other. Plus there won't be much time to brood, if it is negative (and I hope it's not), before the next round of bms.
The holiday idea sounds good - just what you need. Also a sure fire way of getting pg! (I'm hoping that the same will happen to me amidst the chaos of moving house).

I think the hot weather makes af go peculiar. My af has pretty much stopped after 2 days. It was heavy on day 1, as normal, and light on day 2, with nothing overnight or so far this morning.  Normally it is heavy for days 1 to 3 and light on days 4 to 5.

Painting for me today (never got round to it yesterday).
Have a lovely day everyone,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Annie, I've just seen your post (we overlapped). I'm going to come back to you on the ins and outs of number 1 and 2. As I read it I actually shouted at the PC. You are so not a b***h! OK, I know it is different to meet people in the flesh rather than cyberspace, but there has never been even the teeniest hint of b***hiness in anything you have said on here. You are an incredibly warm, kind, empathetic, open person, who always seems to be putting other people's feelings before your own. Anyone who doesn't recognise that isn't someone I would want to have as a friend.

Without wanting to sound trite, we all change as we get older and sometimes people we had lots in common with at one stage in life can become strangers (and strange). I am probably the last person to advise about friendships (having lost so many over the years), but I am a great believer in the idea that friendships don't need to be worked at (except for the odd blip). True friends love you for who you are, and you shouldn't try to be someone else in a belief that so-called friends would prefer this.

Annie, petal, I'm going to ponder on this while I paint this morning and some back to you. I hate the thought of you being upset over it. I honestly feel so lucky to have met you (and Donna, and Polly), even if only as a cyber-friend, and cannot imagine how anyone could hate you (and if they do then they aren't worth bothering with).


Emma, xxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Thank-You so much Emma. That means a lot to me and I totally appreciate your advice on this. It really makes alot of sense. You're definitely right about how as we get older friendships change. I think a large part of the problem is that I don't adapt well to change in life and there's been so much of it lately, it's freaking me out! I guess I needed help and support to get me through the transition.

Bad news this morning - the guy who drove into DH is apparently disputing it was his fault. Can you believe it!!! I am absolutely livid. Now we have a fight on our hands to prove it was totally his fault. It could take months!

On a happpier note - I forgot to tell you that I had "S" last night. On top - 100% success and 100% enjoyable!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

I think there is more paint on me than on the woodwork! Painting is sooooooooo boring.

Annie - first of all, well done on S! That is _fantastic_ news! Does it make you eager for more of the same?! 
What a bummer about dh's car. Were there any witnesses? Where do you go from here with it all? Did you ever find a replacement car?

I've read, and re-read the number 1 and number 2 story now, so I'll throw in my thoughts. I apologise if I say anything that offends but, like you, I always (well, almost always) say what I think. To me, no 1 sounds childish and petty, and I reckon the friendship has just run its course. I certainly don't think she hates you, especially if, as you say, when you do get together it is like old times. Perhaps it is just the way of things for her to move from being someone you see everyday to a special now-and-again type of friend. No 2 was there for you when you needed a friend the most, and you probably became closer because of that. She has shared in some difficult and emotional times with you, and that is bound to bring you closer together.
You shouldn't waste time trying to make people like you - nice people will just like you as you are for you.

I'm sure that neither no 1 nor no 2 thinks you are a horrible person, and if they do they are wrong and not worth bothering with. It may be that there are people who hate you, as I think is the case for lots of people; I certainly know of people who hate me. At one time this really upset me, but I now realise that if people feel like that it is usually because they don't know you at all and have misjudged you (eg the bloke in my road who dragged a key down the side of my car because he thinks I objected to the council about his application for planning permission for an extension, which I didn't.....long story). I'm sure that none of your friends actually hate you, but you may just drift apart from them because you don't have so much in common any more.

Sorry, I'm rambling. I just don't want you to dwell on this or convince yourself that any of the negative stuff you said is true - it really isn't!

Hope you are OK and that I haven't made things worse.

take care,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma

Thank-you so much for taking the time to read the war & peace I wrote and thank-you 10 times over for your advice. I totally hear what you're saying and it absolutely makes sense. Sometimes I just need to hear it once in a while to remind me that everything is alright. I must sound so selfish and a real brat sometimes. I know I have friends coming out of my ears and I should be entirely grateful that I have any at all. I need to focus on these friendships and start enjoying the life I have now, not one I had 3 years ago! 
You're so sweet Emma - thanks xxx

Collecting a new car tomorrow night. A cute silver polo. Real girlie car! Not sure where we go from here with matey boy and his crazy suggestions! Guess we watch this space.

I need to ask a TMI queston! - I think DH might have slipped out in all the fun last night, but I'm not sure. There was quite alot of wigglie stuff when mopping up after! - yet some definitely ran back out. Is there a chance you think that some went in and then DH slipped out?
Either way it was good stuff and hell yeah I want more. DH working late tonight though


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - you don't sound selfish or a brat at all. You sound like a perfectly normal person with normal worries and moments of self-doubt. And yes, you have tonnes more friends than me! Car sounds good. 

In terms of the S question, my guess is that dh deposited the goods before he slipped out, so at least some would get to the right place. There may have been a lot if it had been a few days since he had last ejaculated. I wonder if less would come out if you were underneath - if you are on top does gravity mean that more might fall out?! What would I know though with my one month's worth of experience.  

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Firstly Annie I am very very jealous about your new car  I love them and would really love a silver car the are so slick!
Well done on 'S' I am so behind you guess now I hope I really enjoy it this month! Heres hoping you get more of the same soon  

Right annie, Everything Emma has said is true you have been a massive support and have never been shelfish, nasty, insensitive or horrible. I know I have never met you face to face but you are some one I would like to meet.
I hope you feel better about yourself now. you should be proud of yourself and all the acheivements you have made. Those friends who have slipped away were prehaps not orth it in the first place.

I to have feels (usually time of the month) when I feel nobody understands how I feel and that I have no friends! I sometimes feel that the freinds I do have are only around when they want something, when I need support they all have there own problems and can't possibly deal wiht mine to! This is sometimes true but usually I have blown everything out of proportion (now I am not suggesting that is what you have done) I have a good moan and cry then DH points out all the nice godd things my friends have done for me and I realise I ma being stupid.

I am sure your friends value you but if they don't stuff um
Could you maybe talk all this over with no. one? may get a few things sorted about who thinks and feels what?

As for me I was to alseep and forgot to test this morning! Af has completly stoppped now and I was being stupid testing anyway so I will not be bothering tommorrow just looking forward to bms, if I ever have the energy.

Stared a NVQ 3 in managment today and I am really excited! its pretty full on and takes 15 months, I have to go to colege 1 saturday a month which isn't to bad rest is done at work and/or at home, Can't wait to get stuck in but not sure where I 'll find the time.

Emma, hows the painting going? must have done whole house by now, when does it go on the market?

Take care

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Thanks Guys - I do feel better. I have been mulling it over today some more - like I do   I came to the conclusion that I'm scared that I don't like myself very much and I'm scared of who I might be. I know that only I can sort this out. The whole change in friend issue was just the catalyst. With that & my Dad going and changes at work, for some reason it's made me question myself, my life and everything I've always taken for granted. I did try talking it through with an old friend. I think I shocked her quite a bit, but she put it to me that maybe I've had my confidence knocked? I think there's many elements of truth in that.
I really appreciate you listening to me share that with you and for all of your kind words. You are such a huge support to me. I couldn't possibly be without you.

Emma - I'm so sorry. I haven't asked a thing about how you are today. Painting is bloody boring, but I think sand papering is the absolute worst! 
Stop putting yourself down when it comes to bms/S . After all the practice you got in last month I consider you very much an expert    I'm relying on those experiences for my own efforts!
So, what's the plan of action now? Start packing the house up?, weekends in Chester looking at piles of bricks to die for? Are we going for a Posh N Becks Palace or flashy uptown apartment!?! - oh no, no garden - Palace it is!!!
How is DH feeling about moving jobs? How are you feeling about relocating? Sounds like you are very settled where you are with the house, walks with the dogs and allotment! 
Lots of nice shops to push buggies around in Chester though Emma!!!!

Donna - I'm really pleased you're doing your NVQ. Firstly because it'll be something good to have under your belt that you can take with you as your career flourishes and secondly because it will give you something to focus on other than bms & babies. I really think this is a positive step for you -  smart move!

Ooh - almost have my uniform ready for Saturday night. Got talked into buying a skirt even Jordan would think twice about wearing. I swoare I wouldn't eat a thing this week, but I've been so tired and felt so pants I've eaten some right junk. Guess a few vodka's will soon dull those thoughts!. I am quite looking forward to it though.
Not sure about sending you my piccie now!!! What if you see it and run a mile


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Annie

sorry to hear that you are feeling so rotten! You know (she said from her position of honorory old witch), the thing that I regret in my long life, is that I didn't have more confidence when I was younger (or older). Everything that the others have said is true, you can grow out of friends, or your friendships can change for the better or the worse. You aren't a bad person - you can't be. That's that!

Be confident, be nice, be yourself. The worst is to be someone else, that never works!

Gotta run, but take care

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning!

Annie - you must post a picture, even if only as a PM! We could all post pictures of ourselves, as PMs, if you like! (not in fancy dress like you though). 

So many questions. My ideal house is neither the posh & becks palace or a city apartment. I'd like a good solid older house, ideally detached, with a good sized garden. It must be near to countryside, not on a main road, with 3 or more bedrooms, a good-sized kitchen, a decent bathroom, a utility room, have an open fireplace somewhere, and within 3 miles of Chester (so dh can cycle to the station). Not sure the perfect house exists, unless money is no object.
I am settled here, and will miss many things about here, but there is lots to be gained from moving too. Our new neighbours are a pain in the neck, so I feel keener to move than I would have done a few months ago. Chester has lovely shops, but I'm not sure about negotiating the rows and walls with small children! Looking for houses is a nightmare, because of the dogs. Only one or other of us can go to look for them at the weekend, because someone has to stay with the dogs. Being summer, all the kennels are booked up, and they are such a handful that I can't ask anyone to look after them. Thanks god for the internet, as we can at least get an idea of properties from there.
Painting is taking forever, and how have I managed to get it all over the soles of my feet?!

Donna - NVQ sounds a great idea. I'm sure you'll make a great success of it.

Polly - hope everything is OK with you. I hope DSS is a bit better.

Bye for now, the painting is calling my name.
Emma,


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!

I'm at home today. Had a headache since Sunday night and now it's got the better of me! Think it's still the after effects of the weekend  
DH is home today too which is nice, although he seems to have his day pretty much planned! He's out mowing the lawn now.

I'm going to take the opportunity to do some housework now that the tablets are kicking in.

Paining again today Emma or are ou finally done? I'm sure you'll find the perfect house - just need to start looking!

Have a fab day all xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Annie - hope your headache is a bit better now. Forget the housework - have a lazy day watching DVDs!

Painting nowhere near done - all the preparation takes forever.

Back later,
emma,


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Ipod has arrived!!!! I love it. I'm downloading loads of tracks as we speak!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening,

Annie, hope your headache is better, I really would love a day off but that isn't possibl;e at the mo! I am so tired and the weekend just doesn't give enough time to recover.

I thought the exact same thing about the NVQ it will give me something else to take my mind off babies although they will never be far from my mind especially when I manage a baby room   what was I thinking! could career move though.

Really want to get going with bms but, I know this sounds harsh I can't be bothered all I want to do is sleep at night! at this stage this month is not looking hopefully really need to increase my sex drive so it takes over! - any ideas?

Emma, hope you find your dream house soon, when do you have to move?
I would love to move out of london and is something that we may do a few years down the line!

I agree emma, Annie you have to post a piccy! we can post one back if it makes you feel better, although I am not sure how! doh!

Nice bubble bath is calling me now!
talk soon

Donna xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Evening all!

Donna - did you try the evening primrose stuff? Did that help? How about wearing your sexiest clothes/undies? Maybe you'll feel more like it now that the weather is a bit cooler.

Annie - IPods are fab! I got dh one for his birthday, and have downloaded a few tunes of my own to sneak onto it (it drives him mad when he plays the tunes on random shuffle and gets my c**ppy music!).

Polly - hope you are OK.

Dh will start his new job 3 months after he hands in his notice (which he'll do in a couple of weeks time), so ideally we'd move then. But we have to buy one house and sell another one, so I think it is all going to get _very_ stressful. I don't want to be living in seperate places again so soon (he worked in Paris for 4 months last years, only able to come home alternate weekends).How can we ttc if we're in separate places! Dh keeps saying that he just knows that this month will be the one - what nonsense, but I'd love it to be true!

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi everyone

read all the posts, I'm fine, busy with DN. Just wanted to log on and say we DID IT last night. I was v nervous, so a bit functional for me, but otherwise just fine. I'm so happy!       

Take care all!

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Well done Polly - that's fantastic news!   

Emma, xxxxxxx

p.s. you were on here very early!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All!!!

Feel so much better today. I know now that I was clearly exhausted and that was my body's way of telling me to stop and recharge. I went to breakfast with a colleague today and she turned to me and said "You're really not happy at the moment are you?" Aaaah bless, how observant! She's a lovely lady and very good at helping you identify what the problem might be. We had a chat about how mentally tired I am and how I've had so much to deal with over the last few years. There's one thing after another and I never get a chance to recover from one thing before another comes along. She thinks I need a long break away, but don't think I could afford to take that much time off work right now. Maybe I should go and chat to my GP? I have got my  holiday coming up soon. If I can just get through the next 2 weeks then I can go and relax in the sunshine!

Emma - Morning! What are you up to today? 

Donna - I can be quite lazy when it comes to doing bms. My drive isn't always high. I tend to find though that once I've done it - I want more! It's really strange and I can't explain it. I'm sure there's some natural herbs you can take to help increase libido! Have a search on google!

Polly - WELL DONE!!!       

I bet you feel relieved - in more ways than one  

No stoping you now girl - get making baby Polly!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Sorry to be so brief earlier, but I had a hundred and one errands to run this morning. I can't face any more painting this morning. I've finished all the gloss inside, but now the walls look shabby, so I'l redo most of those. Then I have the front and back doors to paint and the sitting room floor to varnish. Argggggggggg!
We are going to be without a sofa for 3 weeks - I ordered a new one a few weeks ago, but it isn't coming until mid-August, but the council are coming to collect the old one on Saturday. i shall have to take to my bed.

Annie  - so glad you're feeling a bit better today. It sounds like you are really ready for your holiday. I wouldn't bother going to the GP. He/she will only tell you that you are stressed and/or have a virus and to go away. How are we all going to cope when you go away?!

Donna - I agree with annie about S/BMS. I think once you've had some it makes you want more! Maybe it is something to do with endorphins/hormones etc? I have noticed that since I started enjoying this S-business I am eating far less chocolate (it is supposed to produce a similar, if lower-key, effect to sex).

I'm off to scrub a floor. What a glamorous life I lead. I'd rather be spending a last few quality hours with my sofa.
Emma, xxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - I think the question here is - how am I going to cope without you guys for 2 weeks? There has to be an internet cafe on Zante somewhere?!?!

What if you all get BFP's while I'm away and i don't know about it - I don't think so. Even if I have to trek miles everyday in the sunshine, I will find access to you guys!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - that's so sweet! 

Can you believe, more explosions in London. It is so worrying. Hope everyone is OK.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Un-bloody-believable. What I really want to say is  

Hope everyone is alright. Why won't these people leave us alone to live in peace? 99.9% of us are wanting to live harmoniously so why won't they stop taking it out on the innocenent.

I was so mad when I heard they'd struck again.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Just wanted to wish everyone a happy Friday. I'm checking out estate agents this morning (for selling). I was going to visit Chester at the weekend to look for a house, but dh has to work all weekend. 

Hope you're all OK.

Emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All!!!

Hope everyone is well today. 

Emma - Good luck with the house hunting.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh God - a friend has just e-mailed and announced she is 10 weeks pregnant

I'm trying to stay calm, breathing deeply, trying to swallow the jealousy that's rising.

Oh who am I kidding - aaaaahhh!!!!!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - are any of your friends not pg now?! 

Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Not many Emma! I'm almost the last woman standing  

Well they say they save the best til last. I must be having the next England Football Captain or Mega Popstar


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Thought I'd come and enjoy the sanity of FF   and escape the horrors of moving. My list of things that need to be done is spinning out of control. I have estate agents coming next Weds and Thurs to do valuations, then it will be straight on the market. It is so scarey. Dh is working all weekend so I have to do everything. 

Annie - would you really want a footballer or popstar? I'd like to have a doctor, a lawyer, and a teacher! Obviously they will be brilliant at sports (despite their parents' hopelessness at all things sporty), musical (ditto), and artistic too. In all seriousness though, I'd just want them to be happy and healthy.

I really have to go and do something useful now, and I really don't want to......
Emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - Yeah, too right I'd love a footballer or popstar - or even better a Hollywood movie A lister. I'm an incredibly shallow lady and have no qualms in confessing that I would love to live the dream through my children. I shall be the pushiest of pushy Mum's. My child will take me to the Oscars with them and I shall spend my retirement languishing by their poolside in LA, dripping in fur and diamonds and having had so much plastic surgery I can blink my lips!

no, only kidding - happy and healthy all the way.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning everyone

I hope you are all having a lovely weekend. Anyone doing anything exciting? Donna - is it bms time yet?!

I'm waiting for the council to come and collect lots old furniture. I can't even leave the house because it is all piled up against the front door. More painting today.  

Bye for now,
Emma


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello, 

You must all be having much more fun than me - I hope so. I'm done with painting today. My whole body aches sooooooo much!
I'm off for a long bath followed by lots of food and wine.

Emma, xxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi emma,

No not really having fun weekend, had to go to work and row with the owner! my cheques bounced last week   but he is upset with me for being rude to him! and I wasn't even rude he just doesn't like conflict and wants staff he can walk all over, which isn't me! I stand up for myself and know my rights and he doesn't like people like that!
He sacked me this morning   
But I told him that with out me he couldn't open his nursery and woul dbe informing OFSTED! - this isn't me being big headed but to open a baby room you have to have a level 3 qualified person in the room which if he sacked me he wouldn't OFSTED would probably close him down cause there are loads of minor thibgs wrong to.
He changed his mind so I have a job but as soon as I find another I am telling him where he can stick his!
Its all agro I don't need though, DH is off work for atleast another 2 weeks and could another month! we thougth he would be ok to go back to work on monday.
The insurance company (of the guy that hit him) wont pay out a penny till he his back at work so we are really struggling to make ends meet as we have lost nearly all DH's wage

Decided this month especially with everythign else that is going on to try and be more relaxed about bms and ovulation, we are not using OPK but know that i'll be ovulating thursdau or fiday as mu cycles are usually regular. But so far haven't had any bms as we just havn't been in the mood. I have ben to tired and think next week will be worse as we are very short on staff next week due to annual leave so I'll be run ragid!

so this post as been me me me and I am sorry to moan but it seems like one thing after another at the mo! get one problem sorted to walk straight into another, can't help thinking it must be our fault somewhere along the line!

Emma poor you doing all that painting, seen any houses you like yet! house hunting is always fun and exciting but all the work and the actually move are no where near fun. All be worth it in the end.

Annie, I honestly think there is a baby boom at the mo so it only as to be a matter of time before we jump on the band wagon xx

Hope you are having a nice weekend

Sunday luch at mums tommorrow -  roast lamb and no cooking yippee

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Donna - the owner of the nursery is way out of order. I can't believe he can treat you so badly when you work so hard for him. Anyone would be angry and confrontational if their pay cheque bounced - doesn't he see that. The sooner you are out of there the better. You need a less stressful job where you are properly appreciated. I'm sure Polly will know what you rights are in terms of this monster and how best to handle the situation.
I'm sorry about dh too - that must be a horrendous situation. Goodness, you have so much on your plate. I don't know how you hold it together! I hope your Sunday is lovely and relaxing so that you are ready to face another week.

Annie, Polly - hope you are OK.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Afternoon all,

Had a nice sunday, had a lovely lay in and dinner at my mums which was nice. Feeling tired now but think I am just emotionally exhuasted! Really not wanting to go to work tommorow, think I'm going to have a meeting with my manager tommorrow because I feel that they are all ganging up on me, I am now having to work alone for some reason which isn't nice and things have been twisted and I ma being blamed for things I didn't say, apparently I am a trouble maker! the owner doesn't like people who make trouble and he just wants yes people who he can walk all over!
I can't wait to get another job but on the other hand don't want all the hassel and stress that goes with it! expecailly when ttc, also some of the people I work with a really nice. But I obviously have to do whats right for me long term which is to get another job.

Not sure whether to put ttc on hold till things settle down, but then that annoys me further that he is not only forcing me out of my job he is also making me put my dream on old! nasty man!
I have got some evening primrose oil tablets today so we will see what happens  
I should ovulate at the end of this week but so far haven't been in the mood -  hardly surprising with everything thats happening.

At the mo because DH is only receiving SSP we only have a 1/4 of his income coming in so we are erally struggling! hopefully he will go back to work in a month though and the insurance will pay up soon after - if they don't argue about it!

Annie, how was you weekend haven't heard from you?

Emma, hows the house search found anything you want to veiw yet?

Polly, hows things with you

realy need a hoilday hoping we will get enough compensasion (if any) to have a holiday next year 

Take care 

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Donna  - glad you've had a nice restful day. Good luck for tomorrow. Don't take any c**p or let them grind you down.

I'm exhausted. I've been varnishing floors, painting, and tidying all day. We've put all our clutter in the attic; let's hope the ceiling doesn't collapse now. I have found a few houses that seem to fit the bill (I love looking for houses on the internet - it's great noseying around peoples' houses), but won't be able to go up until next weekend at the earliest.

Got to go,
Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

By my calculations I should ovulate thursday or friday but ticker seems to think different so very confused!

we have managed bms! sundays afternoons are slways good for that! so I am now feeling much happier. It went like a dream, no fumbeling around just slipped in like clock work!
tried a sort of new position, sort of sitting with me ontop straddeling DH. It was easier and although a little uncomfortable I think it is the one for us, not sure if it gave deeper penetration or not but as we are TRYING to be more relaxed about ttc and have more fun I don't suppose it matters.

house hunting is always fun but its all the work that comes with it I hated!
Poor you doing all the painting (although I know DH works very hard and I am sure he does is share) is DH home tonight? think you deserve a big cuddle

Dreading tommorrow not sure whther to saty or go! especially as I am starting this course if I leave I may not be able to continue with it and it is something I would love to have on my CV.
Also as I said before not sure I want to start a new job and then be pregnant as people especially women can be really funny sometimes cant they!
Oh don't know what to do....

1. Leave ASAP

2.Wait a few weeks and see how things are once the dust has settled (although I think the owner will always be an arogant pig)

3. stick it out till I ma pregnant then leave after maternaty leave

4. stick it out for 15months to do course then leave. I will then have more time as room leader under my belt and I am more likely to get a better position else where rather than having to take a step back down to nursery nurse which I may have to do if I leave now and is why I owuldn't be able to complete course.

I am not sure what the right choice is and I don't want to rush into anything I will regret.
Have to see what tommorrow brings, I will be speaking with the manager and telling her how I feel - although maybe not everything.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Donna

Really sorry to hear about your work problems. I know that you won't take what I say as any more than an opinion that you can add to the many that you are thinking about. And I know that I am going to say something that will probably p*ss you off, but you really do have time on your side, no matter how much you want a baby NOW (and we all know how all consuming that feels). Sorting out your work situation seems to me to be that most important thing, it is making you too miserable. You don't need to work under such awful circumstances, if it is as stressful as it comes over in your posts (and why wouldn't it be) it isn't going to be doing you any good for your ttc or your course. Please ring ACAS and talk over the situation. They aren't the Samaritans, so don't expect sympathy, but they will give you factual "do this and do that". www.acas.org.uk Tell them everything. It might be worth knowing that our bank has told us that they don't bounce staff paychecks until things get really bad - in other words they wouldn't do it just because we have one bad week, even if it goes past the overdraft limit. Your work's bank might have a different policy, and the payroll might be much much higher than ours, but it might be worth thinking about.

I really hate employers who are rude and uncaring about staff, it's a tough job keeping everyone happy, especially when everything seems to be crashing down round your ears, but it *is* his job.

If you have to take the concentration off ttc for a couple of months while other stuff gets sorted out, it might be worth it in the long run, and it doesn't mean that you can't keep practising! 

Anyway, all the best whatever you decide to do. Most important - stay in control. State your feelings, but keep them under control. Don't do anything hasty, have the conversations and think through what you might do as a result.

Take care

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Donna - I'm so pleased that you managed and enjoyed some S! Don't worry about positions or anything. If you enjoy it that is the main thing. I am very in awe of all you people who manage to do it with you on top and dh underneath; we just can't get that to work! We kind of managed it last night with me underneath, and dh ontop, then rolling over so it was the other way round once he was inside (sorry if TMI). 
You must go in tomorrow otherwise it will only make things worse the day afterwards.

Donna, my view is that you should look for other jobs on the basis that you're not pg or going to be pg. I know it sounds stupid, but I kind of feel that it tempts fate or jinxes things to turn down opportunities on the basis that you might be pg. I think we're more likely to get pg when we're distracted by something else. Staying in a job you don't like will only make you miserable and stressed, which isn't good for ttc.

Have to go now. I've drunk too much wine and feel quite odd 
Emma, xxxx
p.s  Annie  - are you OK. You're very quiet.................


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!!!!!

Sorry guys, not been ignorning you - I was on that hen night Saturday! Spent all day getting my chores done and then rest if it getting ready to go. 
Had an amazing evening, really good fun - didn't get home til   Haven't done that in a very long time. Best friends DH called to say he was at our house and they ended up staying the night/morning? We all got up at about 11:30 yesterday, all looking pretty rough. I staggered into the kitchen and discovered DH & Best Friend's DH had been drinking the only thing left in the house - grappa! No wonder he was so nice when I got home!!!!
Decided I needed to force myself to stay awake all day yesterday so I would be alright for work today. We all went out for lunch and then went down the local all afternon. I stayed on water all day (good girl or what!) 
Had a KFC and went to bed at 9am and slept through til 7 this morning

I've sent my friend off with my piccies today to get developed!

Emma - Sounds like you need a say off from painting, varnishing, packing, searching. Go treat yourself to something nice and relaxing. How about popping into town and having a massage?

Donna - Your boss is such a pig! Sorry if that's out of line, but the way he treats you is shocking. Like you've said to yourself, take your time making your decision about what is best for you and DH. We're here to listen to you and support you xxx

Polly - How are you doing? Have you had a nice week with your Niece?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Annie - welcome back!  Your weekend sounds great fun!

I would _love_ a massage right now. I woke up this morning with a really sore neck. I must have strained it whilst shifting stuff around yesterday. No rest for me I'm afraid until Friday. I'm doing all the final bits of DIY and tidying today. Tomorrow is a mad cleaning day (plus carpet-fitting and my last appointment with Dr Sex). Wednesday and Thursday estate agents are coming to do vaulations. Friday I will collapse in a heap in my perfectly neat and tidy house!
My dogs are so unhappy right now. They hate change and are wandering around with doleful looks on their faces. I think they're worried that they'll be tidied away next.

Got to go,
Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Your poor dogs Emma! My DH feels a bit like that sometimes. I am a real cleaning freak. My heros are Kim & Aggie from "How clean is your house"!!! If I decide to go on a blitz, DH goes into hiding

You sound like you're going to be terribly busy again this week Emma!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hey, Annie, do you want to come round to mine? I hate cleaning!!! But I love a clean house. 
Actually, Emma, I need some painting done too........not to mention a bit of spraying and deadheading in the garden....

How did you get on at work today, Donna? Sorry if I sounded too dictatorial (but I guess you are all getting used to that by now!  ), I thought today that I should have added what Emma has now more or less said - if you are looking for a new job, don't let the possibility if getting pg put you off. If you do get pg at the same time as starting a new job, you will be too happy to care, and if it takes another year, (hope not) you will kick yourself for staying in the old job and being unhappy. You will find nice people to work with (and horrors) everywhere, and you can always keep up with your old workmates, or even better, entice them away to your fantastic new place of work...

If you feel disloyal about looking for a new job while ttc, well, don't. It may well p*ss your new employer off, but they can't sack you for being pg. Would you go back to work after maternity leave anyway? What maternity payments would you get with your current employer, and how does that compare with maternity benefit? Try www.tiger.gov.uk for information. You fill out information, which you can make up, about how long you have worked and when a baby is due, to see what you are entitled to. You can then decide how to play it. 

Hope today was OK. 

take care

Polly


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## sunny24 (May 25, 2005)

sorry to sound think but what is vaginsmus x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Sunny,

Vaginismus is an involuntary spasm of the vaginal muscles, making penetration, gynae exams, using tampons difficult or even impossible. There are two types: primary - where the sufferer has had it all their adult life; secondary, where it develops often in response to some kind of trauma.

Please feel free to ask any more questions. Although I'd had this for 11 years I had never heard of it until my GP diagnosed it about 18 months ago. There is such a paucity of good information about the condition out there that I am more than happy to do anything I can to tell other people about it (whether they have the condition or not).

Emma


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Sunny was about to post an explination but see Emma has beat me to it - and what a good explination it is!

Polly thank you for you advice and the web sites, I am still unsure as to what to do.
I know what your saying abotu time being on my side but I have been through to much to put ttc to one side, although for the moment I'm not putting so much pressure on that side of things.

I am hoping that I wont have to go back to work after maternaty leave atleast not at first so I don't want to look around for a job just to leave it in 9 months time - doesn't seem worth all the bother but then I hear your point that it could take me 1yr+ to conceive and wouldn't want to stay in my current job for that long if things don't improve.

Today was ok and better than I expected, some staff members were given last weeks cheques (i've already had cash for that and for the previous weeks bouncing cheque!) but told not to pay them in till wed! they agreed! which is why when I moan I look bad as other staff just put up with it!

Think I may stick it out for as long as I can because that way I will have more experience as room leader under my belt and wont have left a job after 4 months (doesn't look goo ddoes it) this why I am more liely to be able to get another room leader post and be able to complete my course (as need a room leader postion to do that)
I hope my rambelings make sense and thankt you all for listening to me moan!

Emma, what a busy week - just think it will all be worth it! will you be veiwing this weekend?

Annie, what a fantastic weekend, please post a piccy

Take care

Donna xx


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## sunny24 (May 25, 2005)

hi emma thank you so much for the fantastic explination i hope you all are ok with this condition i dont have it but it sounds painfullm but i am glad you are all handling it and i with you ball the luck in the world with your treatmets xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Evening all,

Donna - I'm glad today work wasn't too awful for you. Follow your gut instinct on where to go from here.

Polly - I never want to see another paint pot. I'm with you on cleaning - I hate it when the house gets dirty and untidy, but I _loathe _ cleaning. I can always think of something (anything) I'd rather do.
How are things going with you Polly? Any more S/BMS? Has it all healed now?

Annie - have you recovered now from the weekend?

I am soooo tired now, and covered in paint and varnish. It's a good job that the weather has turned cold, so I can cover myself up.

I never thought I'd be asking this question, but here goes. In terms of bms, can one have too much sex? Does it reduce the wriggliness of the wrigglies if you have it too often? I'm about to enter the bms time of the month and am wondering if I should be exercising some restraint in these matters .

Bye for now. Sweet dreams everone,
Emma, xxxxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Donna

I hear what you are saying about the timing. I really hope that it all gets better soon. We're here for you when you need a rant.

Hi Sunny, thanks for speaking up!! I sometimes wonder if there are other sufferers out there who think that we four know each other well and feel that they can't break in. If so, I hope that they realise that we would welcome others to "our" group. 

Emma - are you going for a last session with Dr Sex because it is your last session, because you don't need her anymore, or becuase you are moving?

Annie - sounds like you had a really good weekend. Good for you!

I had another appt with the consultant today. Everything is going well, and he is allowing me to reduce the dilator use from twice to once a day. Just when I had got used to it too! I still have to use the xl tampons all the time. This is the regime for the next month til I see him again. And as much   as I can handle. Actually he didn't actually say that, but I decided that he meant to!  

The plan is to go for it naturally for the next two months - we are off on holiday on 28th August which is just after the 2nd O day. We are going to the Maldives,   which I am really excited about, for two weeks. We are also thinking of using our Champney's voucher for the Thursday and Friday nights jsut before, thus starting our holiday on 25th. This way I will be nicely relaxed BEFORE going on holiday, and I won't have to run around trying to get my legs waxed at the last minute as per usual. You may go green with envy now!!!! 

Back at work on 14th Sept, making it just short of 3 weeks away from work.   Only downside is that if AF comes, I will be on a plane for 10 hours, but with a bit of luck,  . If that doesn't work, we will be back at a fertiltiy clinic, haven't decided if we'll go back to the same one, as they are a bit unpositive about my age. 

Anyway

Take care all

Polly


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Emma

I understand the advice to be that if your DH's sperm count is "normal", then you can't really do it too much. If it is low, then 36-48 hours is the ideal frequency.

Polly


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma - it's fantastic that you asked that question - like you said, you didn't think that you would ever ask it. What a long way you have come!

As for us, DH likes the new model  , and approves! I feel like bding for England, but we are on a 36-48 hour frequency here, and I reckon that we need to go for it Mon, Wed, Fri, Sun am or Tue, Thu, Sat. Can't decide! Slight problem as DSS is coming to stay at the end of the week, probable thu & fri night, and we live in a really tiny house, so our bedroom is just above the sitting room where he will be sleeping, or rather, being insomniac!!!!  So we will have to be really quiet, and not   too much!!

Ooops, I'll go now. DH is out at a meeting, and I can't wait for him to get home. What am I like!!!

Polly


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

hello, Donna and Annie, I can see that you are both on line, is there a chat room on here we can go to?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Polly is there anything you don't know!

I am gald you asked that question because I have wondered that to.   
Fertility clinic seem to all say different things which isn't helpfull

Polly glad to hear you are doing so well and thinking forward to another go at IUI although I really hope that you and well... none of us need it in the future   

As for your hoilday I am very very green, I would love to go champneys let alone the maldives   seriously though you deserve a holiday and some pampering.

Hoping to go away march/april btu have to wait and see if DH get sany compensation or if we have to try and save   

Night all  



Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

we can always go to the main chat room


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

where's that then?
Polly


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

found it


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh my word! We were chatty on here yesterday! Can't believe I missed out. I signed on for a quick read and then went off to bed - gutted! Anyhoo!

Polly - I am beyond jealous that you are going to the Maldives. I was there in March! Which island are you going to? We were on Meedhupparu. It was the best holiday we have had to date and we're thinking about going back next year. Oh, you will have such an amazing time. The second you get off the plane and see the sea taxi's waiting to whisk you off ..... sorry I was reminicing.
Impressed that you're planning a whole lot of   Just put a   on the door!!!!

Emma - I'd read that every other day is the best way to make sure you keep getting a fresh supply of prime wigglies? Fair play if you have the energy for more than that!!!  Dear Lord, I'm knackered just thinking about it.

Donna - I will have a go at posting a piccie to you all. I'm not the best with technology so bare with me. There's a piccie on their website that I should be able to e-mail to you all and you can guess which one I am!!! I'll have a go later.

Sunny - Thanks for asking what vaginismus is and for your best wishes to us all. 

I'm feeling pretty recovered now. My photos won't be back til Saturday and I'm at my Grandparents in Weymouth this weekend. I'll post them as soon as I can. Will try and send the one that's on the club website though.

Have a fab day everyone. I shall log on tonight if anyone's going to be around xxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

I'm so p****d off this morning, Carpet chappie came to fit the carpet and had measured incorrectly, so it is about 2 metres short! I don't have time for this!    
Rant over.

Polly  - your holiday sounds fantastic. I am so jealous. 
I'm so pleased that everything is going well for you with dilators, sex etc. Good luck with the bms - great that you have it timetabled! 

I reckon we should do alternbate days as dh's sperm is on the low side. I reckon I'll ovulate on Saturday so today, Thurs and Sat might be good.

My session with Dr Sex is the last one because I don't think I need her anymore. I think she is assuming it'll be the last one too. I will miss talking to her though.

Annie - I'm looking forward to seeing the photo! 

Donna  - hello! Hope all is well. Have you started bms yet?

Bye for now,
Emma, xxx
p.s .as Polly said, if anyone else is out there please say hello!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh Emma    Hope you gave the carpet man what for   What a pain in the backside!

Don't worry - their problem, not yours. Leave them to sort it out. It'll all come together in the end.

Go take the dogs for a nice long walk, preferably past a pub!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening,

Thanks for the chat last night Polly it was really nice and made me feel loads better about stuff I didn't know was bothering me.

Emma, did you sort the carpet man out? cant remember the name of the website but I was looking the other week and it said every 2-3 days throughout the month was good when ttc! I though we would try that this month but only started on sunday! so not really working! 

I usually ovulate on C/D 15-16 which is thursday and friday so thinking I may do wed, fri and sat.
If I can manage today and thurs too then that would be a bonus! so much for going with the flow eh!

A couple of people didn't turn up at work today and are not coming back!     How I laughed! it left us really short as we had 2 others off but hay   
Owner couldn't understand why 1, anybody would want to leave   and 2, why nobody gave notice.
um? BECASUE WE DON'T HAVE TO AS WE DON'T HAVE CONTRACTS! 
I laughed and laughed and laughed. Left us in the $hit and its been hard work with much of the same tommorrow but maybe he has learnt a leson.
He mentioned we may get contratcs in the next couole of weeks    funny that
So we will see if these contracts appear and what is in them I think before I jump ship. as contracts or lack of them is my main concern I dont feel secure and he his free to treat us how he wants so we'll see if they appear

Annie can't wait to see your piccy, bet I don't pick you out. I lady on the IUI thread posted a picture once and I was shoked because in my mental picture she was chinese! (no idea where that came from) she was no where near chinese!  

Take care 

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - I'll give you a hint - I'm not chinese!

I can't send the website piccie as I need your e-mail address. I'll wait til the weekend when I get mine back and send you one of those


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

lol very funny Annie.

bet your nothing like I have pictured and vise a versa


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Just found your e-mail address. I've sent it to you x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

wow Annie you all look amazing.

my guess is you are the one on the left with the bugpuss bag


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Nope - the one in the middle


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

it was a toss up between the one in the middle and the the on the left.

You are stunning! very tall with long legs  

I will try and post a piccy of me to ya sometime this week not sure how I'll do it yet though


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Well I did have loads of polyfilla on that night. You should have seen me the morning after  

Yeah - you owe me one of you now xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello!

I want to see the picture too! I'm going to change my profile to add my email address. I will send one of me in the next few days.

Session with Dr Sex was really good. I'm really going to miss her. She thinks I should have psychotherapy to address all the issues from my childhood. I guess that means she probably thinks I'm still a nutter.

Carpet still not sorted. Chappie came back with the correct size but of the wrong carpet ! House is almost ready for estate agents to visit. Thank goodness. This life of cleaning is driving me crazy!

Hope you are all oK. Got to go - dh is cooking and food is ready.
Emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

You should have it now Emma- just click the link and don't laugh!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

me wanna see too!
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Sorry Polly - I was fast asleep when you came on FF. I will send it to you right now.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Annie - I've just seen the picture. Wow, you look fantastic. I can't believe how long your legs are! Could be something to do with that _very _ short skirt.....
You look nothing at all like I imagined. I had this image of you with long curly black hair, for some reason. I'll send a pic of me as soon as I get round to it.

Hope everyone else is OK. Is attempt at bms last night - might be a bit too early yet, but better safe than sorry!

Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

This is so funny - I can't wait to see your pictures. Nobody is ever as you imagine them are they? To be fair though, you're not seeing me on a "normal" day. I'll find an everyday one at some point and send you that one.

I have got long legs    I used to hate them so much. The tops of my legs usually come up to my friends armpits!!!! They are still a pain in the bum sometimes, patricular in economy class on a plane!

Emma - How is everything going at the house? I am shocked that you have the time or energy to even think about bms!

Might have a go myself tonight as AF hasn't put in an appearance yet.


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Great picture! Looks like you were all really having fun!

I'll see if I can find one of me that isn't going to break your pooters!

Polly

P.S. Before we post, maybe we should all say how we imagine the others, that might be a hoot!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I was thinking the same thing Polly!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Polly - what a fun idea! I imagine you having fairly short, very straight, very neat hair. Average height. Originally, I thought you might be blonde, but now I think you're darker.  I see you wearing incredibly smart suits most of the time (well, at work, at least), and we all know that you carry a briefcase. Perhaps prone to wearing heels?

Donna - oooh, this is hard. Dark complexion, I think. Long straight hair. Not so tall. I imagine very smiley (Polly, Annie - that doesn't mean that I think you'd look miserable . Probably wearing short skirts and fairly skimpy colourful tops in summer.

I'm probably _way _ off the mark!

Well, I'm enjoying some quality time in my perfectly neat and tidy house. One estate agent down, 2 to go.

Annie, I was so determined to have bms last night that nothing was going to stop me, although I was really tired. Sorry if TMI, but last night was definately the deepest I have experienced, which can only be good! 
You should enjoy your legs - I'd love legs like yours!

I'm off to look for houses on rightmove. Bye for now.
Emma,


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I imagine Polly to look pretty much how Emma described. I was thinking short blonde hair, cut in a neat smooth bob style. Maybe a bit shorter than me (just kidding, everyone's smaller than me!). A Pocket Polly I was thinking, short and very sweet!

Emma - I imagine you to have shoulder length/long brown hair, probably with a small fringe. Something very practical that can tied back for dog walking and cleaning. Possibly wears glasses for reading and pc work. Really slim and willowy with big brown eyes and a huge smile.

Donna - I see you being on the blonde to mousy blonde scale of the spectrum. Shoulder length, possibly srunched to be wavy or slightly curly. Average height and build. Fair skinned and lighter eyes, maybe even a blue/green. 

This is so much fun. I'm intrigues to see who is the closest on guessing. Come on ladies, get posting your piccies! I'm dying to meet you all!


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

New Home Ladies!!


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

New home this way ladies >>>>

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,33617.0.html


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,
This is so much fun!  

I just went to post a picture but all the ones I have (and there aren't many) are truly awful. 

Annie - I'm not going to say anything about your image of me until the others have posted. I love a bit of intrigue. The only thing I will say ifor now is that yes I am quite smiley, but in pictures I tend not to smile because my teeth look so awful! (I some pictures yesterday and tried smiling and the results are horrific).

Bye for now,
Emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I bet they're not bad. People are always their own worst critic!

Come on - send it!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

No, they really are bad......

You'll just have to wait. Anyway, I'm not sending a picture until Polly and Donna have had their say!

Emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I bet I'm right though. Did I not mention I have some pyschic powers. Mystic Annie is my nickname, oh yes!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

everning all,

Such fun here it goes,

Emma, I imagin you to have curly light brown hair, full of energy very happy go lucky. good skin although I am not sure about eye colour hadn't really thought. Average hight and be about a size 12

Polly, as annie said I think you are a very smart dressed person woth brown bobed hair, dark eyes, slighty taller than average and be size 10/12

I am sure I am way way off the mark you all know me thinking that girl was chinese.

Loved reading you descriptions of me cant wait to send you a piccy of me will try and do it now, have to find a nice one though.

BMS - tried tonight and it was fine although a little strange.......
DH came before he was completely in so I was expecting to stand up and for it all to run out considering it is a bit yukky after at the best of times but so far nothing much as come out so very confussed 
Does feel alot more relaxed this time round not using OPK as helped with that I think so heres hoping   

Emma, how annoying about the carpet hope its sorted soon

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

sent you all pictires, took me long enough hope you like them xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

OMG Donna - you look nothing like I imagined!  They are lovely pictures - I presume that was your wedding day? You look a lot older than imagined and very serious!

I have just taken some pics and will try to send them after this. Donna, Annie - you are both close (ish) (certainly far closer than I was in guessing what you both looked like, LOL): shoulder length brown curly hair that has a life of its own (no fringe though Annie), and usually have it tied back; short - 5 foot 2; size 8-10; green eyes. I'm not sure exactly what willowy looks like, but I'm fairly sure that I'm not it! Skin is normally pretty good, but I have 2 spots today - must be moving/carpet/cleaning stress. I wish I was a happy go lucky person Donna, but I'm not - I worry about _everything!_

I'll go and try this photo lark. It may not work as I'm not very good at this sort of thing and dh is still at work.

Donna - you get your bms done early in the day! Don't know what it means if stuff doesn't leak out. It can't be bad though - better it all stays in than it all leaks out. I'm not using OPKs either.

Carpet is finally sorted. Chappie turned up this afternoon.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Sorry, can't get it to work. I'll come back to it tomorrow. Got to go and collect dh from the station now.

Forgot to say, I have glasses too.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma, You don't come across like the worry type at all. No boody has ever said I look older before   not sure what to make of the looking serious part, I suppose I am quite a serious person but I am smiley to 
Yes they were taken 2 years ago (ah sweet 21) on my very happy wedding day! If I do look serious its probably cause I was crapping my pants  The picture of me on my own was taken as I arrived at the registry office so I wasn't posing for the camera!

Find BMS is better earlier in the day by this time of the night I am ready for bed and brain is getting into work mode for tommorrow - sad I know!
Oh we are both going o'natural this month, hoping it will work for us 
Haven't had any CM yet, that I have noticed but b*****Ks to looking for every sign drives you made doesn't it? just want to have bms for me and no just for a baby!

size 8/10 you are smaller than me (I say going green) I hope I didn't effend you by saying size 12, not that binging a size 12 is bad! - oh god I'm gonna stop as I'm digging myself into a hole

much babydust to all 



Donna xx

ps never would have imagined you with glasses, its strange what we inagine


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

OK, haven't looked at any pics yet....

Donna - a bit taller than average, dark shortish hair, slim. A little bit worried at the moment due to all that is going on, but good fun. 

Emma - blonde, sort of floaty hair, long skirts (yet I know that you only have one! I think that's what you said!) sort of floating through life doing a bit of dead-heading here, a bit of painting there, a bit of dog-walking... in a kind of Cadbury's Flake way.

Annie - I thought you had long hair! But I didn't think that you might have long legs!

I can't possibly post a piccie of me now! Your versions of me are so funny!!! And you are ALL wrong about hair colour!

Polly


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

hey this aint fair - i follow all you girls on your journeys, celebrating quietly at your successes, my pic's in the gallery and i dont get to see your pics waaahhhhhh 

kj x


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

He he! Knew we'd flush SOMEONE out of the woodwork!!!!

Nice to hear from you KJ!

Polly


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

hmmmm that makes me feel like some sort of pervy spy  i posted on here to the girls a few times at the very beginning, then pulled back cos it didnt seem appropriate but i know Donna from the iui girls so am keeping an eye on her  
i guess i am kind of nosey if i'm totally honest but i think you girls are all so inspirational, you have formed such a lovely tight knit group and are marching forward so well as a team overcoming your problems hand in hand ....i'm rooting for you all and you're all gonna get there!!!!!

kj nosey bint


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Thanks KJ, that's some really lovely things you've said about us x

Donna - I bloomin well knew that if I logged off for the night that someome would post their piccie. I'll have to wait til I get home to have a look. Can't access personal e-mail at work. Suspense is killing me!

Emma - Knew there'd be glasses there   - just had a strong feeling about them. I shock myself sometimes with my psychic abilities!

Polly - Does that mean you're a red head I have got fairly longish hair. It was tied back in bunches on that piccie

I have a confession - I'm really jealous of all your regular cycles   Think I'm on day 40 something now


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Hello KJ - what a lovly thing to say. Drop in here any time - the more the merrier. 

Polly - by a process of elimination you must be a redhead. I hope so - I _love_ red hair (dh is a redhead). Do you have freckles too?
Your description of me made me laugh so much. I'd love to be a blonde, floaty person, with hair that flicks from side to side and wafts in the breeze, but I'm a million miles from that! I spend most of my time scurrying at high speed, knocking things over and colliding with anything and everything! Actually, deadheading is my floaty time.......

Donna - you didn't offend me by saying I might be size 12, although I did feel slightly worried that I sounded fatter than I am (although size 12 is pretty small too)!  How stupid does that sound. I was once size 12 for a few months at uni when I was depressed, and I get paranoid that it will happen again! You look tiny in your picture - very petite indeed (and very regal).

I will try to work out how to send a picture today sometime.

Managed some bms this moring, although I don't think dh was in as far as he could be. Donna, I've also decided to try and take a more relaxed approach and stop looking for signs of ovulation etc. It's not sad at all to have bms earlier in the day - far more efficient! Sounds very romantic and impulsive too.

Annie - Is there not a chance that you could be pg? Have you gone this long before? If you want af to start then do a hpt - it should arrive within an hour of that. I quite understand why you would feel jealous - it must be so frustrating and mean you have no way of knowing when you ovulate.

Got to dash, estate agent due soon.

have a great dayeveryone,
Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - don't think I am pg. I've been down this road many times before. When I first came off the pill I had 5 periods in a year. They always get longer and longer. Only time they're of a decent length is when I'm on clomid. 
Guess IUI really is the way for me.Such a shame after definitely achieving "S" and almost a bit cruel


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

KJ
No! I didn't mean to be horrible - it's just that before we started talking about how we looked, we were being encouraging to any one else that might be lurking and felt we were too cliquey. So that was the context of my remarks - that all this guessing might have encouraged someone to speak up - and there you did! 

Anyway, I know you, because I sometimes lurk on the main IUI girls thread, although it often goes so fast that I can't keep up with this thread and that one.

I'm sure that others read too, just because it is such an untalked about topic generally. It is good that there is an open place to talk about s problems, because speaking for myself, I have been very ashamed and angry with my body.  I don't quite fit in in terms of my current issues, but I have been through difficult times including vag,  found it immeasurably helpful to have others to talk to this time while I have been going through my surgery and the aftermath. I feel much more relaxed and less upset about the whole thing these days, and it is due to this fantastic group of women - as you so rightly said!

The only problem the four of "us" have now is to get our BFP on the same day!

Polly

Piccies coming soon - and no - not a redhead!!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

So Polly if you're not red, not blonde, not brunette  - punk style multicolours? Me thinks not somehow. 
D,you know what - sometimes I forget that other people might read our posts. It feels so natural these days, it's just like I'm e-mailing my friends. I'd like to think we're not cliquey. I think maybe that on FF you search for people who you relate to the most and tend to stick with them. I posted on a few threads before Emma invited me onto Vag and don't tend to browse that much these days. I am no longer a lost soul on FF - I've found my home.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Polly - I am so intrigued now. Did we rule out black hair - I thought so. You are too young to be grey, I'd have thought (no offence intended). A shaved head?   Does hair come in any other colours? The suspense is killing me!  

I often read the main IUI thread too, although I've never posted there. It moves on so quickly that I can't keep track of who is who.

Annie - it does seem very unfair that just as you manage and begin to enjoy bms that your body is not cooperating! At least you can start IUI fairly soon - you're still planning to start after your holiday I hope.

Got to go and chat to estate agents. 
Back later, perhaps with photo too.
Emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - Yep, still hoping to get going after my holiday. Just need to call and book in the dreaded tube test first. If I get a move on hopefully I won't be too far behind you guys. Quite sure I'll return to the UK and you'll all have had a BFP.

Please post your piccie this arvo. As you can probably tell I'm not the most patient of people. Can't wait to get home and see Donna's picture.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - just got home and seen your picture.  You look so lovely.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

The deed is done. There's no going back now......

Emma
p.s apologies if they are too big (or too ugly) - I'm useless at digital camera stuff


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

aaah lovely Emma! - it was worth the wait! Not far off how I imagined you at all. 

I must find a "normal" one of me. Preferably one when I'm not dressed as a schoolboy's fantasy!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - I'd love to see a normal one.

I'm going to view 2 houses on Sunday. I am being so picky, and can't find any more that tick all the right boxes. These 2 seem perfect on paper (well, screen). Very exciting! Not looking forward to the drive though - 3.5 hours each way. 
I've had 3 valuations done, and all came up with the same figure. I can't decide which agent to use. I've ruled out one, but can't decide between the other 2 at all. We need to make a decision by tomorrow.

Back later,
Emma


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Hi KJ nice to hear from you. nice of you to say you are keeping an eye on me. I do still read the IUI thread form time to time but its so hard to keep up.

Girls if you remember I thought 1 of the IUI girls was chinese - well it was KJ 

Polly cant wait to see piccy - maybe hair is black but with a blue or purple tint or something?

Annie, sorry you are getting frustrated with your cycles I can't imagine what it must be like but as Emma said a HPT is sure fire way to make AF arrive.
Just think of the positives though if you do have IUI now that you have mastered BMS you can do that too - increasing your chances  

Emma, hope you got the valuation you wanted, can't wait to hear all about the houses you have veiwed.
What a lovely picture (although a little big  ) you are very pretty and look younger than you are.
Trying to be more relaxed this month and it is working although we had bms last night and may do again tonight and tommorrow which we wouldn't usually do in the week, just can't forget ovulation its gone to far for that. however, do feel more relaxed so maybe that will help.

 signed a contract today   now how fast is that! funny how he'll do things when heee wants to! either way don't care feel much happier now I have one.
very short staffed as we are runnign with basic staff so when we have 3 on holiday we are really really stretched so I'l knackered. had 3 babies on my own today so really hope I never have triplets! got 4 tommorrow.

Hope you are all well

dinner time now, then a bath then maybe some bms...... you never know!

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

OK I posted you my pics. Hope you don't mind, I had a bit of fun with it.


Aren't you all lovely, Emma your pics are great, well done on taking them yourself! You are quite different from my imagination, but georgeous, as is Donna - you looked beautiful on your wedding day. In fact, Emma looks more like I imagined Donna and vice versa. Annie looks most like my imagination, and I am so envious of your long legs. 

I've just had the results of a test to see if I am intolerant of any foods. As it turns out I am intolerant of wheat, gluten, eggs and diary. Almost every alternative practitioner I have seen have said that I am allergic to wheat and milk, but I wasn't sure. It's going to mean quite hard work to avoid these foods, but maybe I will lose weight at last, and feel less tired. Anyway, see how it goes...

Annie, are you sure that it isn't worth doing a hpt? Do you take your temps, and does that help pinpoint ovulation? Are you doing lots of bms? If you don't know when you ovulate, you might be missing the right time. (sorry, being bossy again).

Donna, really glad you have a contract. Has it been better at work this week despite the shortage of staff?

Emma, you seem to be getting on well wiht the move, hope it's not too stressful. Hopefully one of the houses that you see this weekend will be just perfect. Is DH able to go with you or are you on your own?

DSS is coming this evening to stay for a couple nights. He seems to be getting better, and it will be nice to see him and see how he's getting at first hand.

take care all

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Polly - me and my big mouth! If I said something out of line I am really sorry.  
The picture of you with dh (I assume that is him) is so lovely - you both look so happy and relaxed together. Are you doing watersports in the other one? I'm so impressed - you really are superwoman!
What made you have the food intolerance tests? What will you eat? It has to be easier to give up ion summer than winter, I'd have thought.
Good luck with DSS; great news that he's getting a bit better.

I'm going up to Chester on my own. Dh has to dog-sit and work (from home). As I'll spend far more time than him in the house than him my opinion is more important.

Donna - it is great that you have a contract. Good luck with 4 babies tomorrow. Any joy with bms?!

Until later,
Emma


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

OMG polly you are nothing like I imagined I thought you had longer hair and water sports wow! this has been so much fun its really strange the images you get just from talking to each other.
From talkin got you, you come across alot younger than you are (sorry not being rude so hope I don't offend) didn't realise till we spoke then other night how old you were always thought you were 30 or something. not that I am implying you are old or anything! god seem to keep digging myself into holes! hope you understand what I am try to say- all be it badly!

Things are ok at work, the next coule of months will be hard (if i'm still there) because staff are on hoilday so just have to see what happens when things get back on an even keel if they every do!

Had letter through today for smear test! usually I bin them but suppose I really should get one done now! don't want to though!
No bms tonight just to tired and feeling rough

Emma shame DH can't come house hunting, he's brave leaving ti up to you don't think my DH would!

Off to try and watch BB if I can stay awake!

Polly, hope you have a nice time with DSS, glad he is on the mend

Donna xx night all xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Evening All - been to Bingo this evening. No wins for me - AGAIN!

Polly - Your picture was soooo cool! So creative! I have no vision at all - could never do anything like that. Searching away for some "normal" ones now. Think I only have Maldives piccies on my p.c and they're not good at all - humidity hair and sunburn, ugh!

Emma - Good luck with the house hunting on Sunday. Get yourself some good tunes for the car and do like I do  - sing the whole journey. I'm driving Mother to Weymouth tomorrow to stay with my Grandparents. Really looking forward to it actually. Gramps just bought a new state of the art mobile home/caravan! It's better and more modern than my house!


Donna - Congrats on the contract - Hallelujah!

Strewth - just seen the time. Way past my bed time. Speak to you all in the morning!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Shocked you all, didn't I?!! Yep, I am old....at least my eggs are, but I have to remind myself that I am sometimes. Other days just getting out of bed is reminder enough.  

In fact, I've been going grey since the age of 11, and so I don't really see it as ageing, just me. DH also went grey really young (about the same age as me), so we don't have a problem - I've never known him as anything else, in fact pictures of him with black hair don't even seem like the same person to me. I have occasionally dyed my hair, but hate it immediately. The only time I liked it was about 18 mths ago when I tried to go completely silver, but needed to put a rinse in every day to stop it going blonde (yuk), so gave up and will go silver in my own time. The pic of me in a suit looks more grey than I am I think.

We took up diving about two years ago, I got my PADI last year, but DH can't swim, so he can't do it yet. We go to Madiera quite a lot, and the diving guys there are great with him, they sort of drag him around the bottom of the ocean so he can see the fish! He has no problem with water and if floating was an Olympic sport, he would get a gold no problem, but gets very unco-ordinated when trying to swim. I thought that if he didn't have to worry about breathing (ie snorkelling and diving) he would get it, but I was WRONG!

I also got him on a pair of skis about 3 years ago, which he thought he would hate, but loves it. Not bad for an old geezer of 61!!! 

BTW, no-one offended me, it was quite funny, and that's why I waited til the end! You know, it's only your outsides that seem old, inside it's the same person as ever  

Take care all

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Polly - You're absolutely right.

Sorry - I didn't really answer your questions last night, so - Nope never bothered doing temp charts, have used ovulation kits in the past but only when cycles were in a drug induced regular state. Stopped doing bms every other day as cycles got as long as 104 days at one point and DH & I were both knackered and loosing the will to live. Maybe if we were just starting out we might have a bit more energy, but as we've been doing this for 3 years now I think we've both given up on natural and can see IUI being the only way of getting the timing absolutely right.

Still no AF for me. Sure I'm on day 40 something. Lower back pain is incredible at the moment and the only way I can describe the feeling is "pressure". It feels like my belly and back are being squashed beyond belief and I really need to release! If AF is coming wish it would just get on with it.

I don't feel like doing a hpt. In the main because I've been here many times before. Usually late AF for me doesn't mean pg, just means cycles are up the spout again. Plus AF symptoms are triumphantly parading round my body. Bet I have to drive back from Weymouth tomorrow with period pains. Also we only had bms about 4 times in the last month or so. 

Feeling really sorry for myself this morning - sorry guys, I don't stay down for long. I'm quite an up person so I snap out of it quickly!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - sorry you're feeling yuk.   Can't stop - off to the dentists. 

Back later,
Emma


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Annie, I hope that AF arrives at a convenient time then. I see what you mean about not thinking that you are pg. Even if you were temping, you would still have to do the "duty" thing until the temps went up. What about cm - is that any help? Do you have PCOS? Have you tried any herbs to get more regular? Sorry if you have been here before, and I am being useless. If it is any consolation, I had VERY irregular AF until pretty much mid 30s, and then became completely regular. I don't mean that you have to wait for 10 years, but obviously something changed for me, and so could change for you.

I have some information somewhere on this, and know where to get other stuff on the web if you need any help.

Take care

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Can you believe it - the dentist is pg too.

And this morning the shower decided to leak. Water came through to the kitchen below. We only had it done in March. Can't be a massive leak as there wasn't 2 person's worth of shower water. I immeadiately panicked and thought the whole house was about to fall down. At least it is still under guarantee. I'm psyching myself up to throw a wobbly at the plumber; we had lots of problems with him and didn't part on the best of terms. 

Annie - are you feeling any happier/less pained?

Polly - I'm _so_ relieved that you weren't offended. Anyway, 43 isn't old. Like you say, we all have days when we feel ancient (well I do, anyway).
I am so impressed that you can dive. It must be amazing. Did I tell you that I've decided to have swimming lessons. I want to tackle all (or most) of my demons. I reckon if I can overcome vag then I can overcome almost anything (except public speaking). I just need to find somewhere that does lessons for adults; I'd feel a bit silly standing in the learner pool with lots of 4 year olds!

Donna - I always used to bin those smear letters too and get upset by them. I used to take the pill before we got married (living in hope that things would magically sort themselves out) and stopped when the GP said I couldn't have repeat prescription until I'd had a smear.
You can do it - just think how proud of yourself you'd feel if you went through with it!

Better go and sort out the bathroom situation.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Polly - I don't seem to get cm, although saying that I did get a nice stringy piece a few weeks ago. I was actually rather intrigued by it having not had some for quite a long while (sorry!)
I've been checked for PCOS a few years ago. Had scans and blood tests done and even then the Dr's only did it to check. They didn't think I was a likely candidate for it. 
My accupuncturist did recommend a natural progesterone cream to me that apparently helps regulate, but that can take 3-6 months to have a decent affect. I hope to be well into IUI or even be pg by then - how optimistic does that sound!
Of course you're not being useless Polly - you're a huge help as always xxxx

Donna - I used to throw my letters away too and I don't relish the thought of having to have another one, but it's always sounded to me that it's not worse than anything you have to go through with IUI. You can do it hun. Go and book it in and you know we'll support you. It really is very important we get you though it for the safety of your health xxxx

Emma - Darn shame about that shower. Give that plumber what for when you speak to him. an't bloomin believe the dentist os pg - how rude! My colleague has just been booking in her maternity leave. I'm trying very hard not to go green with envy!

got to dash - off to a posh lunch. I'll be back in an hour x


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma, shame you are moving to Chester, I know a really good swimming teacher who works in a gym in Luton. She probably does lessons elsewhere. A couple of years ago DH and I went for lessons. I could swim, but in a rather head out of the water ungainly way, DH (as I said) not! We took lessons together, sometimes there was one other person. It was fine. She had to give up with DH ever swimming on his front - can't breathe and move his limbs at the same time (well, it's multi-taking innit!) - but got him to swim on his back, which he can do in a very splashy way until he bangs his head on the opposite edge! She got me doing the proper breathing and head under water stuff, which I love, it feels so different from the other kind of swimming, and I can swim for about an hour like that. But I won't share a pool with too many other people! There is something so calming about dipping down into the water, I think I get into a kind of trance.

Go for it girl! Get a good teacher and go for it. I think with floating, swimming, diving and public speaking (which I do a lot of too) really the main thing is to believe that you CAN do it, and then relax (hmm sounds like something else!). 

I get absolutely terrified at diving, but it is only the getting under water bit, once I am under, I'm fine. I cannot be made to jump in the water for love nor money, so i would only dive in Madeira when the tide brought the water up to the steps so I could float off. Now that is silly! I really want to dive in the Maldives, and I think that might be off a boat, so I am going to have to take my own advice (above) or look like a complete prat.   .

Take care

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Polly - if you love diving then you're going to have an amazing time in the Maldives. I only did snorkelling (after much persuasion) and it was phenomenal!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

OMG! -hen night photos are back. they're.....indecent!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

I am much calmer now. Plumber has been and fixed the shower without me having to get stroppy at all. he tested it and it seems fine; let's see what happens tomorrow morning.

Polly - I wouldn't mind having the details of your Luton swimming teacher. It will be months before I move and I am very keen to get on with it. I don't have a problem with travelling to Luton (except for the fact that Luton is horrible) and St Albans is hopeless for that kind of thing. I went to the swimming pool here to shower when my bathroom was being done and it felt really squalid.
I could never do public speaking, and it terrifies me a million times more than sex used to! Whenever I was supposed to do something like that at school or uni I would be off sick, even if it meant I failed coursework; I figured I could make up the marks elsewhere. In my bookshop days I hated author events so much and used to get other people to introduce the authors; not very professional but I was in charge so they couldn't really say no. 

Annie - are we going to see more pictures of you at play? 

I know I said that I was going to take a more relaxed approach to bms this month, but I've realised today that I haven't had any CM at all this month. I normally have it for days leading up to ovulation and more and stickier stuff at ovulation. Does this mean I'm not going to ovulate at all? Should I be worried?

Dh and I are going out for a meal tonight. I'm really looking forward to it as we haven't been out together for ages and I've barely seen him all week.

Is anyone doing anything exciting this weekend? Polly, did you have bms yet? Did you manage to do it without disturbing DSS?

Bye for now,
Emma,


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi everyone,

Work was a nightmare I am glad its the weekend. I plan to do nothing all weekend! DH is fishing on sunday so will haev the day and bed to myself for a nice lay in.

Dh and I went diving in corfu and I loved it really want to do it again. it was realy weird at forst being under water but being able to breath - took some getting used to.

Not sure if we'll have any BMS today really not feeling like it and we did agree that we would pressure ourselves this month so we'll c theres still tommorrow.

Annie I hope your feeling better.

I will book a smear when I get round to it cant say I'm rushing to do it, Emma I know what you eman about the pill! I was on it for a while to just incase something happened!

Hope you all have lovely weekends

Donna xx

P.S Decided if I win a small or mayne large sum of money I really want to open my own nursery


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Just have to share this with you, I had amazing bms last night! it went like a dream and OMG it was fantastic, more of the same? yes please!

If you are using lube I would really recomend Durex Play! we had been using KY as and when we needed to but Durex play is so much better and 100% safe to use when ttc

Feel so good today amazing how 's' makes you feel this way.

Hope you are all ok and having a nice weekend

Emma how was your evening with DH? where did you go?

Annie any AF developments? hope you are feeling better

Food shoppping today but thats it for the weekend! DH being off work means he gets the houde work done in the week  
Got a few bits to do for work though and really need to get cracking with my NVQ forst study day is 3rd September had have loads to do before then

Catch you all later

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good afternoon everyone,

Donna - I'm so pleased that you had fabulous bms!   Let's hope it is the first of many such events.

I had bms this morning, but it was only so-so. Certainly the sperm was deposited in the right place. Sorry if TMI but I am just so dry at the moment. I don't want to use lube (silly, when I know it won't affect ttc). On all the other occasions I haven't needed it. I don't know why today was different. I guess that's what comes of being a person rather than a robot. I have this awful feeling that I'm not ovulating at all this month.
Something odd happened yesterday evening. When I went to the bathroom I had a tiny amount of pink gunk. It can't be implantation bleeding because I'm only on day 14. Perhaps it is nothing to do with ttc at all. It hasn't happened since.
Donna - opening your own nursery is a great idea! Are you likely to win any money?!

I had a lovely evening yesterday. We went to Carluccio's - I love Italian food - and ate far too much.

We've finally settled on an estate agent and the house will go on the market on Monday. Scarey stuff. Dh is a bit glum and stressed today. He hadn't realised how long it will take to sell and buy somewhere and now realises that he'll probably be oop north for a few weeks before I join him. He'll have to say with his grandmother. 

Annie - hope you had a lovely time in Weymouth.
Polly - hope you're having a nice weekend with DSS. Any luck with bms?

Until later,
Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma,

I could be way way off and I am nowhere near an expert but maybe your experience with BMS this morning could be because you are convincing yourself that you are not going to ovulate, maybe thinking about it so much is making you dry? I know what you mean about not wanting to use any lube I am exactly the same, Durex play is water based and not so sticky as KY so it kinda feels ok to use it alothough I use the smallest amount.

Have you ever not ovulated before? or had long cycles? If you have always been regular then I would assume your are going to (if you haven't already) ovulated.
I haven't noticed any CM myself (mine obviously not yours) but after BMS I always have some dischage that is very similar so don't think I would have noticed.
Try not to stress over it, with all you habe going on you don't need to put more pressure on yourself.

Poor DH sorry to hear he is feeling down, will you be able to see each other at weekends?
Hope you see your dream house tommorrow and yours is sold very quickly to a first tiem buyer with no chain!

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi everyone

Hope you are all having a good weekend. We have had a v relaxing day so far, went to cafe Rouge for breakfast, did supermarket shop, came home, all had a nap, DH and DSS are in garden doing a jigsaw, and I am reading a couple of guide books to the Maldives. Annie, I know you said where you went, but it is lost in the mists of time. We are going to Meerufenfushi. I shall be v careful if I have a massage to have only female masseuse!

Only fly in the ointment is knowing that there will soon be no breakfasts out, when I get my act together to elimate the foods I am intolerant to. I had eggs and salmon benedict on toast today, which combines all my intolerances in one dish.  . Usual shaky bloated tired heavy achy joint feeling afterwards!

We had pretty ( ) good bms last night too. Donna, I am really pleased that you are enjoying it too! Maybe we need to rename this group. Annie, how are you getting on? Emma, we know that you two have been at it like rabbits, so an off day is nothing to worry about. Why don't you think you ovulated? I know that it is not always clear, my chart suggest that I o'd on cd 11, which is the earliest ever, so I am not sure if it is right. i hope not, as bms was successful on sun am monday and friday, and of course I am obsessing that we missed the best time.  . If I discard my Fri temp, we are still in with a chance. 

On the other hand, DH said the other night that he is enjoying being married to a sex manaic, and we should have got this sorted a long time ago. The difference in my enjoyment is amazing, and I am doing well at the  mo in not getting cross with all the docs who said it wasn't significant. 

Gotta go to a bbq tonight, DSS isn't coming with us. I hate bbqs and parties, but I feel we have to go. It's in honour of a 1st b'day, so there will be some littlies there, as they are having their party this afternoon, and then the event carries on as a bbq. I can probably cope, as people don't generally ask me any more if we have kids. Or if they do, they just ask and then leave it. I used to like to tell people that we have 3, becuase there was a point at which I enjoyed the expression when I told their ages, but it doesn't seem to surprise anyone these days when I say that the oldest is 32. I guess I have wrinkles now to match the grey hair! 

DSS is on good form, we went shopping yesterday and he seems to be coping well, or else feels ok here. I bought a horrendously expensive swimsuit, which looks as good on as my fat tum allows. Hopefully I can balance it out with a cheapy one from Matalan!

Anyway, gotta go and wash my hands and face and put my party frock on.... 

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Polly - I hope the bbq is fun and not too wet. It's raining heavily here, but perhaps it's Ok where you are. It's good to know that I'm not the only person in the world who hates bbqs. I love good food and find it faintly ridiculous to cook food less well than you could in a kitchen on a proper oven just a few metres from the proper oven; I know I'm in a minority on this one. 
Your day sounds lovely. I'm glad DSS is a bit better.
My dh has said just the same thing about my new sex maniac tendencies! I don't feel like one today though; I think I'm just tired.

Donna - you could well be right about ovulation. I've never not ovulated before and always have CM (of different colours and textures,  ) at the same times of the month; the only time I don't have it at all is from when af ends until about day 8. This month there is absolutely nothing. There's no point worrying about it, at least this month, as it isn't going to make me ovulate or make any CM magically appear. In terms of bms I think you are right - worrying about the juices not flowing probably is counter-productive!

Here's hoping I do see the dream house tomorrow and that the owners are chain-free! I'm fairly sure that as and when we sell our house it will be to a first time buyer as it is that kind of house (Victorian 2 bed cottage/terrace). 

Bye for now,
Emma,


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Wow emma the more I find out about your house the more I want it! a cottage out of london in the country would be lovely. We want to move out of london but at the moment can't afford to also I don't feel ready to leave my family.

Polly, sounds like you had a lovely time witH DSS, hope you enjoy bbq more than you expect to.

It has been nice and more relaxed ttc this month although I can never complelty forget about it and just have 's' for the sake of 's'.
Want to have another go today as I probably ovulated yesterday or today but at the moment don't feel like it and have a headache so we'll c, but I know if we dont do anything I 'll be in a foul mood as I'll feel I've missed a chance.

Really hope it happens for us all soon as all this ttc is driving us all mad! althought the bms is quite fun 

good luck house hunting emma

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All!

You've all been busy! I actually can't remember the last time I had bms or s. I thought AF might be coming and I never feel like doing it then. I always feel yucky and unsexy. Also we've both been really busy and as a result reallt tired. We seriously both need to wind down on our activities and spend some more time at home together. We have a terible habit of saying yes to everything and end up being burnt out and left with no energy for each other. This weekend is yet another classic example.

I took Mother to Weymouth after work on Friday while DH stayed home as he had work yesterday. I got 0 hours kip as sleeping on a pull out bed in the lounge was not my squishy bed and Gramps was up at 5:30 scratching around in the kitchen cooking himself a fry up! I left Weymouth at about 2pm and got home at 4. DH had arranged to go out with the lads last night and I had planned to just have a *quiet* one with the girls. I got in at 2am!!!!!

Found DH hugging the pillows on my side of the bed and the rest of him sprawled across the rest of it. I could not shift him for love nor money. He just would not budge. I had to cave in the end and go and clear a mountain of crap off the spare bed, dig out the clean bed sheets I had just washed ready to go back on today and crawl into bed there. DH woke up at 6am and thought I hadn't come home! He's gone to work this morning and just called to find out why I slept in the spare room last night and asked was he in the dog house!!!! MEN!

Well I am locking myself in the house today. I have hidden the car keys from eyesight so I m not tempted to go anywhere. Time to start washing holiday clothes and laying out items for packing. 

Polly - My friends went to Meeru on their honeymoon and loved it there. I actually don't think you could have a "bad" island. We went to Meedhupparu.

Donna - You're day at home sounds perfect. I've just seen Phantom of the Opera is on box office. Might sit down this arvo and indulge!

Emma - Italian food...mmm - I'm starving and there's no hangover food in the house! Does anyome deliver this time of the morning? 
Glad the shower seems fixed. Are you off house hunting today?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning,

Annie, your weekend sounds fun but tiring as ever 
Very jealous that you are sorting out hoilday clothes! hope its my turn soon

Emma, hope house hunting is going well - can't wait to hear all about it

Polly - how was BBQ? is DSS still staying with you?

Well after not feeling like it at all we did have BMS last night, at first it was a forced effort (something we said we wouldn't do this month but tis hard when you know your ovulating)
despite being a forced effort I have to say it was really really nice. Think we are getting better at it. Had no problems this months it all went like a dream!
Up to mother nature now   

Think I probably ovulated friday and have had bms on Sunday, wednesday, friday and saturday so hopefully have all bases coverd. This as been our best month yet so heres hoping its 3rd time lucky (with bms anyway)

Ticker seems a bit confussed as its 14 days to testing not 12!

best go and start my NVQ course work as I have house to myself (boring)

Catch you later

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

done some work but getting bored now!
Designed some posters for the nursery to try and get more children in - why I am trying to help them I don't know as I wont get any thanks! just the person I am!

Annie - hows the hang over?

might go and see if there is a trashy movie on I can watch and guess I should start preparing the roast did tell dh I would do it!

Hope he has caught lots of fish and is in a good mood you never know may have somemore bms or is it just s now?!

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

I couldn't agree more with you Emma, I just don't understand the psychology of bbqs and why people think it is  a treat! Besides, as I have a vegetarian attitude to red meat (don't want to know about it, don't want it contaminating my food!) they wind me up. This one was good, as one of the hosts is vegetarian, and so has a completely separate bbq for veg food, including utensils. Top marks! 

The birthday boy was in bed by the time we got there, but the other little horrors were running around. Actually, they weren't that bad, and there weren't that many. 

Annie - you do enjoy life!!! Too funny about DH thinking he was in the doghouse. I bet he was trying to figure it out all morning. Does no harm to keep them on their toes!! It isn't much fun waiting for AF, I agree, I rarely feel like bd once the AF-is-on-way feeling starts.  

Donna, sounds like you covered all the bases this month. Fingers crossed!!  . My chart is still saying I o'd on Wed, but I think that Fri was more likely, so the coverline might change in a couple of days. 

DSS went back to his mums today. DN was due back today, for another week, (she is helping me sort out the mound of filing in my office), but we put her off for a week. She's not too happy about it, as she fell madly in love with one of my "lads" when she was here before. It seems to be reciprocated, which is part of the problem, as I would have to leave her alone too much this week, and I need them both to work! Teenage hormones!!!  

So DH and I have an evening to ourselves. We need to find a good film to watch after Corrie, and just snuggle up together. Back to work tomorrow and then 3.5 weeks to holiday. Yippee!! When are you off Annie?

Take care all!

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I take back everything I said about pre AF sex. I just had some bloomin amazin S. Not only did it slip in easily we even mastered multi positions, including one we'd always wanted to try and could never manage. Wow!!! Not sure if DH stayed in the whole time, but I don't even care - it was good!

Polly - I'm off on Sunday. Just started pulling holiday clothing out of the drawers and seem to have lost a much loved bikini   I get really distraught about loosing things! Desperate hunt on now to find a replacement. Not good when the shops are starting to stock autumn/winter collections.
Stapling my mouth shut as we speak. Ate so much convinience rubbish this weekend I feel awful. Liquid only for the rest of the week.

Donna - No hangover this time, just lack of sleep again. When will I learn my lesson - just say NO! I think I find it physically impossible to sit still and stay at home!
Enjoy the roast!

Emma - Hope you've had a pleasant Sunday xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Annie, sounds like you had th eperfect ending to a perfect weekend, hope you manage to find a Bikini.

Had some more bms today to  so thats 5 times since sunday! it has to work this time its all been so perfect! just slipped in each time, like it knew its own way  

Feel fantastic and hope I get a BFP this time!

Polly, gald you had a nice time at bbq, anymore bms for you? if you ovulated friday we are on 2ww togther and will test at same time.

Emma hope you weekend wasn't to stressful

Dona xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello one and all,

I know it is the middle of the night but I just can't sleep. My head is spinning! I went to look at a couple of houses yesterday. The one that looked perfect on paper was hideous; they had been very clever with the photos. The other one was just perfect! Or was it? I am _so_ confused. I came out having fallen madly in love with it and desperate to put in an offer right away. Then when I got home I started pondering on practicalities - will it fit my dining table and sideboard and bookcases, etc. It isn't massive (3 beds, but quite small ones), but the downstairs in particular is lovely and bigger (extension at back). It has lots of period features (to use estate agent speak), including one open fire in the sitting room and a woodburner (yippee) in the dining room. It has a lovely kitchen and garden, although the garden isn't massive. It is in one of the best roads in Chester, and walking distance (if one is feeling energetic) of the centre. 
Is it better to have a smaller house in a good area or a bigger house in a less good area. I think probably the former, but I'm not sure. I'm worried that I'm being emotional rather than rational! Quite funny as Dr Sex always used to tell me that I concentrated so hard on being rational that I negelacted my emotional side!
It is so far away. I want to go back tomorrow and measure things and look at it again in a practical and sensible way!

Dh is all for putting in an offer tomorrow, without him even seeing it. It is great that he trusts my judgement, but madness. I think he is so used to doing deals for clients that involve millions of pounds that he just sees this as another deal, albeit a very small one. I tried to explain that the difference is that this is his money and happiness, but he reckons he has more to lose if the work stuff goes wrong than if he makes a mistake in choosing a house. Men!

I had a nightmare journey. It was Chester races yesterday and a journey that should have taken 3 (ish) hours each way took 4.5. I was losing the will to live.
Anyway, enough about me.

It is wonderful that you are all having such amazing S/BMS, and so much of it!  I haven't had any since Friday night! Donna, Polly, if I did ovulate then I think I'm due to test around the same time as you.

Annie - it sounds like you are ready for your holiday. You'll feel so much better afterwards. I hope af comes and goes before you go away.
Have you found the bikini yet?

I really should go and try to sleep now.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - Oh my word, no wonder you couldn't sleep with all that going around your mind. I think you need to go back and have another look at that house. I know it's a long way away, but you still need to be sure. You'll either walk in there and say "yep, as I thought, definitely the one" or "well, i'm not sure" - in which case it's not right and keep looking!

Sounds like you're all going to be 2ww buddies together   Of course I wish you all BFP's, just wish I could be on baord at the same time. I'm going to call the hospital tomorrow and book in the tube test for when I get back. Might tell them I'm having a mega long cycle again and see if they will prescribe something to force it on and then let me have a round of Clomid while I'm waiting I doubt they will, but might be worth asking.

Still no bikini. Still so much to organise before we leave. Simply not enough hours in the day!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

I tried to post earlier but the server went down.

I am so tired today. Finally got to sleep at 5 only to have to get up at 6 to give dh a lift to the station.
Then I had to run around polishing and cleaning to make the house perfect for estate agent photos.

I'm going to have a lazy afternoon now with Harry Potter.  

Annie - I don't really think of myself as being on 2ww because I don't think I ovulated. Time will tell.

Hope everyone is having a great day. Polly - how could you be so mean as to hinder the path of young love!

Bye for now,
Emma


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Felt fantastic when I woke up this morning not usual for me to be so cherpy especially on a monday morning! still feel ok now although bit tired.

I am feeling really positive and optamistic about this 2ww but fear I am setting myself yp for a rather large fall  

Emma if you think you ovulated on friday then you are on 2ww with us girl! oh I hope atleast 1 of us is lucky this month it would give me hope if one of you fell pregnant.

Emma, I think Annie is right you should go back and see the house again, is there any way DH would be able to come with you this time?

Annie is it sunday you go? Hope you find the internet out there.

Must dash into the shower now, and maybe so more 's' later   no really only kidding dont think I could take it - need a rest before I get sore 

Love ya's

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again

Donna - it is great that you are feeling so positive about the 2ww. One of us has to get pg sometime soon, surely! It would be just wonderful if we all could.

I am going to go back to see the house on Saturday. I'm going to measure things and be sensible. Assuming I still love it then we'll make an offer. Dh has to stay here to work and dog-sit. 
I've spend all day day-dreaming about the house and where I'll put everything; makes a nice change from baby day-dreams! 

I might try and get a bit of S action myself later. Dh sounded very glum on the phone just now so needs cheering up.

Emma, xxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi girls

Annie, please test!! I know you don't want to, but if you are going to ask for something to bring on AF, you MUST test first. How about going on the internet for the bikini? You could order loads and find one that's right. 

Emma, can you go and see the house again? Things get bigger/smaller/different in your imagination, as you know. If you go for the smaller house in the better area, there's nothing to stop you moving again in a while if you feel you need more space. I know it's a hassle, but then so are less than considerate neighbours, if that might be the issue. Walking distance to the centre might be nice when you are pushing a pram!

Donna, you sound so upbeat. Fantastic! You have to be positive about the tww, that's the rules. 

Am I awful about DN? I was quite pleased that she wasn't coming this week, after DSS (who has now p*ssed DH off big time  ) and everything. She is 16, and the "lad" is 21. I know that DH are ones to talk, but it's a bit of a worrying age gap at their ages. Still her mum doesn't seem to have a problem. I had him in my office today and gave him a chat. It was partly because I want him to work towards a more responsible job, and I needed to make it clear that his success or not would be nothing to do with what was going on with DN, but he still was getting himself in a peculiar position. He has been off for a week, and there seems to have been some pretty heavy duty texting going on!!

Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing her next week. The "Lad" too, no doubt!

Lots of love

Polly


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Good for you Emma. I really hope that it is the dream house and you don't have to wear yourself out looking at loads of unsuitable ones. But if it's not right, it's not right!

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi again,

Polly great suggestion for Annie to look on teh internet for a bikini may find a really nice cheap one to 
I do feel really upbeat at the moment and I just hope that af doesn't bring me down! and if it does then one of you guys HAS to be pregnant to compensate!

Emma, great you are going to see the house again I'm sure you will still ove it then your feel more happy about putting in an offer. I think you should post some pictures so we can have a nose to 

Sorry to hear DH was feeling glum hope you manage to cheer him up!

Off to shower now as got to engrossed watching tv 

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All!

I've been thinking that I might not have a choice but to test. I wouldn't want to go on holiday not knowing. I have started to notice some AF symptoms - bouncy boobs and lower back pain, although I've had lower back pain for weeks now. I promise that if there is no AF by Saturday I will do a hpt. I went and bought a jumbo box of tampons last night. Thought that would bring it on instantly. I just don't see how I could be. No way, I'm just having weird cycles again.

Emma - Glad you're going to see the house again. I'm sure it is what you want, but a second look will simply confirm it. Shame DH can't go. How about hiring a dog walker for the day?
How did you get on with Harry yesterday? Finished it yet!

Donna - It was great to hear you being so upbeat yesterday. You have every reason to be positive about 2ww this month. Everything went text book perfect for you in the bms deptartment, so why not. I will definitely go in hunt of an internet cafe. I need to be in the know when you get a BFP!

Polly - Try not to worry yourself too much about DN. You're doing the responsible thing and unfortunately that might mean that you come off looking the mean Aunt for a while. At some point in the near future you'll be thanked for this. That is quite some age gap when she is only 16. Chances are this will fizzle out before too long.

Looked in Next directory for a bikini last night. There wasn't much on offer. Will head into town on my lunch hour today and see if I have any luck!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

I feel human again today and full of the joys of summer!

Annie - I would test today so that it brings on af today, and then it is over with before your holiday starts (or it may even turn out to be a BFP). It is going to be hanging over you all week if you don't. That's my bossy moment over with!

Polly - you are doing the right thing. It is too much of an age gap when you are 16. Mind you, the danger is that by disapproving and trying to impede this budding romance you make it more attractive to DN. She is very lucky to have you looking out for her.

Donna - I will post a link to the house after Saturday if we decide to put in an offer and have it accepted. I'm worried that I'll jinx it if I post now.   I hope your upbeatiness has continued into today.

Have a great day everyone,
Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Afternoon Y'all

Still no bikini, still no AF and still not pg!  Happy Days!

Trying to persuade DH to take me to the cinema tonight to see Charlie & the Chocolate Factory. Think he'd rather boil his own head. 

How is everyone's else's day today?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

How funny about CATCF - I had the same conversation with my dh at the weekend.   He claims never to have even read the book (or any Roald Dahl) as a child - what an oddball. I reckon he used to sit in bed as a small child reading the the Economist or the FT. 
Shame about the bikini - what's your next plan? You could always get one at the airport.

I have had a really nice day - pottering in the garden, food shopping, and now I'm off to the allotment to harvest beans and potatoes for tonight's dinner. My poor allotment has been very neglected of late. I'm supposed to be editing/proof-reading stuff for a friend of mine and haven't even made a start yet; I kept putting it off but now the deadline is approaching.

Now dh is going to view the house on Saturday, and I will stay and dog-sit. I'd love to get a dog walker in but they are like gold dust round here at the best of times, let alone school holidays. I'm getting worried about the perfect house now. I spoke to the estate agent today and they said that the vendor is worried about selling to someone in a chain (i.e. us). Quite odd, to my mind, as theirs is a family house rather than a 1st time buyer house and they haven't found anywhere to live themselves yet. I'm not going to get stressed about things yet - plenty of time later.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Annie have you tested yet? it will put your mind at ease (and ours!)
Shame about the bikini, have you looked online?

Polly, when is DN coming? The age gap is a bit big but are they both quite mature? if they are then age gap my not be so significant.

Emma, It will be nice of DH to see the house then you can both talk about it properly, don't stress over what esate agent said if the seller likes your offer then I am sure they will accept. I'm so nosy wanting to see pics  I hope you don't mind it is a bit intrusive.

Still feel really upbeat! its very very scary. Next few days are harder at work as I have more children in towards the end of the week and quite a few cryers/screamers so we will see if I'm still so cheery

Bye for now

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Annie, does that mean that you tested? 

I know what you mean about the bikini - not that I would be seen dead in one, I need to spare the world some grief! But it is very difficult to find swimwear at the mo. Don't they understand that not all of us get ready for our hols six months in advance?

You might well find one at the airport or while you are away.

Emma, can you really not put the dog in the car and make a few stops on the way? I know nothing about dogs, but yours doesn't look very big. Then you could both see the house. I'm sure that you would do that if you could, but I guess there is some reason. Like I said, I know nothing about dogs.

I'm sorry, but even with Johnny Depp in it, I couldn't get excited about seeing that Chocolate thing. I might have read it as a child (I read most things), or maybe not, but I just hate the idea of it. I love chocolate, but that book/film always seems too much of a good thing, and could easily lead to Tummy Aches, not to mention Tears Before Bedtime. I have the same aversion to it as I have to Rupert the Bear. I can't imagine there has ever been a more smug unattractive animal.....

As far as DN is concerned, "the lad" is a fairly nice, quiet and unbumptious 21 year old, not the noisy braggish type, so it could be worse, but I do hope that it fizzles out fairly quickly, particularly with the distances involved. I have warned him to remember that she is only 16, and so the places they can go together are limited, and he musn't lead her astray, or let her persuade him to take her to inappropriate places. I think he is a bit bowled over that SHE took notice of HIM. 

Roll on next week!

Take care

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Annie - please, please test!

Polly - in theory we could take the dogs. They are medium-sized (springer spaniels - size of small labradors) and we have a tiny car with no room for dog crates. The problem is that one is a bit highly strung and will not allow the other one to travel in the back with him (big punch-up would break out). In theory the other one travels in the passenger footwell, but in practice he tries to sit on the passenger's knee and squirms around the whole time. I always end up being the passenger because I'm smaller, and because the squirmer once vomited on dh when he was a passenger and he made such a fuss about it (how he'll cope with small children I can't imagine). What a delightful picture I'm painting of the pair of them! We hardly ever take them in the car. We really should get a bigger car. We got it when the eldest was a tiny puppy and it seemed fine then!

I do agree about Rupert - he gave me the creeps as a child! I also had a real problem with Rapunzel - just looking at the cover of my Ladybird book would make me have nightmares!

Donna - I will send a link to the pictures of the house in due course (might do it as a PM because i don't want anyone else to spot it and put in an offer!).

Got to go and cook now,
Emma, xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Good Morning Dear Friends

How are we all this fine sunny morning? Alas your pleas of testing have fallen on deaf ears. Please remember that the likelihood of a BFP is slim to none. I am your out of the ordinary case and this is quite normal for me. I am sure that the river of red is working it's way down and will make an appearance before the weekend or even more likely - Sunday morning as we board the plane   I know I can't go off on holiday without knowing - or can I?

Oooh - bikini has been located. Was telling friend about it on the way home from work last night and it transpires that it is currently at the bottom of her wash basket. I'd left it at her Aunt's after the pool party we held there. Phew!

Emma - Didn't make it to see CATCF in the end. It was bloomin well sold out! Seriously those kids have had all day to go and see it, they're on school holidays. Why then do they wait until 5:15 to go? We went and saw Wedding Crashers insetad. It was so naff. DO NOT waste your hard earned cash on it.

Donna - Still feeling good - that's great! Keep it up. Remind me - when is testing day for you guys?

Polly - Rupert the Bear? Are you kidding me? I was and still am a really easily scared/freaked out person - but never from Rupert? Can't recollect now what did scare me as a little person.... I shall ponder this one today.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Annie - I'm so pleased that you located the bikini! I still don't think you should be allowed to go on holiday though. How will we all cope as 2ww anxiety takes hold?

I wouldn't say Rupert scared me. It was more that he was too po-faced and too much of a a goody two shoes for my liking. And as for that yellow and red outfit .......yuk.

I still haven't got round to Harry Potter yet. I started reading it on Monday and fell asleep. I'll be the only person left who hasn't read it soon.

Have a great day everyone,
Emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - I so neeed this holiday. I have got to get away from this office for a while. It's starting to get me down! Oh well when I get back hopefully I'll be starting my treatment and won't be around much anyway and if it works I'll only be around for a few more months. Aaaah, just the dream of it happening keeps me going.

Don't worry - I'll be in touch over the next 2 weeks. Can't imagine Zante not having internet somewhere. I'll drive into the next town if I have to!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

No need for a hpt


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Annie, I'm so sorry petal.   Even though you kept saying that you knew you weren't pg, did you still think you might be deep down?  
On the bright side (I'm not trying to be glib) at least it will be all done and dusted before your holiday, allowing lots of time for s/bms when you're away. 

I am so livid at the moment, but your news has brought me down to earth and distracted me.
My neighbour (not the young, noisy ones, but the sour middle-aged bigot one) has lots of people round today. I was in my garden and she noisily announced to her audience - knowing full well I could hear - how much she hated me in particular and couldn't wait to see the back of us; knowing that we are moving has made her day and year, apparently. I know I shouldn't be upset, because I know that she hates me - although I never really knew why (I'm sure she'll tell her friends why in due course) - and her opinion shouldn't matter one jot, but I feel so humiliated and embarrassed. I am not the kind of person who has things out with people, so I'm skulking inside with the windows shut so I don't have to hear anymore of her spiteful comments. All this infront of children too  - what an example to set them. Sorry just needed to rant. Roll on moving......

Annie - your holiday couldn't come at a better time; you sound really ready for it.

Take care, and come back and let loose if it will help.
Emma, xxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I'm not so upset that AF has arrived. I'm just so frustrated that my cycles are so irregular. It's not fair. After conquering so much this year already I still can't try and achieve my dream. I still have so much more to go through. I guess I was hoping that I wouldn't need IUI after all - but clearly I do. If only to make sure all is in the right place at the right time. 
I wish I could be with you guys, doing the 2ww for sure.

Anyway - Emma - ignore the wench next door. Clearly she's off her face on something or other and you'll soon be rid of her and her crazy ranting. Don't believe a word she said about you - it is so not true. I too would probably be upset by the comments, but let's try and be strong and ignore insanse people like her who haven't taken the time out of their own miserable existence to find out what wonderful people we really are!

Hmph! - rude *****


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Annie - at least when you start IUI everything will be monitored and put in the right place at the right time, and you'll have your best chance ever of getting pg, even if it doesn't happen the first time. Why not book yourself in for the tube test for straight after your holiday? I know it seems unfair, after everything you've gone through and all the progress you've made, to have to use IUI rather than 'natural' bms, but thank goodness for medical science - at least there _is_ an alternative that increases the chances of conceiving. Once Annie junior is born you won't care one way or the other how he/she was conceived.

I know your right about the old bag next door, but I'm so stupid; if I hear someone say horrible things about me I just go to pieces. Really, I should be concerned if someone so hideous liked me as I'd like to think I have nothing in common with her! What gets me is that I think we're the perfect neighbours. We don't play loud music or stay up all night partying, and my dogs bark a lot lot less than hers! This is a woman who locks her dog outside during thunderstorms because the barking (from the dog being very scared) annoys her hideous brat of a daughter, and who left the dog home alone for a week whilst they went on holiday. Anyway, I must stop descending into another *****y rant.

I'm off to climb up on my roof now and do yet more painting!

Emma, xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - you have totally put things into perspective for me. What the Dickens am I moaning about! You're absolutely right, I should be hapy that there is treatment out there to help me. And, no I won't care a hoot how Annie Jnr gets here.

Thank-You Emma xxx

Please go careful up on that roof! Trust me you're not stupid. On the other hand, I am! I would be knocking on her door really distraught and asking her why she hated me and then apologising, probably for things I didn't even do! I am by no means advocating that by the way! Don't follow my example!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Annie - I would do that with someone whose opinion mattered to me, but not for Mrs Bitter Bigot. I'm fine now. I've been hammering away on the roof and thinking of her with each blow. Goodness, I sound like a really violent person. I'm quite harmless really......
I hope you don't think I was saying 'snap out of it' about af; I would be devastated too (and am each time). I just thought it was also the start of a new era in the quest to create Annie junior.

Bye for now,
Emma,


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Annie so sorry AF arrived and so sorry we kept going on at you to test - must have mad things harder.
I hope you are feeling bit better about things. Your hoilday will def help and when you come back all rested and relaxed what better time to start IUI or any other treatment the hospiatl have in mind (they may try clomid again) Your be pregnant in no time hun I 'm sure. You have achieved so much in a short time be proud of all those things, a baby is bound to come next - its the next step for us all. You WILL be a wondefull mum who will appriciate her children so much more. xxx

Are you having priviate treatment Annie? Do you know which hospital/clinic you plan to use?

Emma, sorry to hear about the old boot next door! hope your ok now?

Polly, how are you?

I still feel quite upbeat but I am getting more tired and ratty as week goes on   
I want to know now! if its worked I normally sail through first week of 2ww but not this time as I want to test now! - I wont though.

AF is due 12th August!

Off to get kittens second lot of injections done

Donna xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello again,

Sorry my posts always seem rushed.

DH is going back to work next week so hopefully we can start getting ourselves sorted financially once he's back. He needs to go back he is soooo bored and getting very grunpy 

2WW is doing my head in! and i've got another 10days of this! 
Friends asked me to look online for her to check the price of a baby monitor and I had to browse the site didn't 1! I've found the perfect pram by silver cross and I really want it! probably jinx everything now by looking at prams  

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Evening!

Feeling much better, thanks girls. This is it -  IUI. And I honestly mean it. Calling the hospital in the morning. 

Donna - My local hospital are doing it for me in Swindon. I thought I might have to go for Oxford, that's where they do IVF. But been told they can do IUI here. Think I only have to pay for the drugs and I get 4 goes at it.

Emma - I so didn't think you were telling me to snap out of it. I know you simply not like that. I know I'll feel so much more positve about IUI once this horrid test is finally under my belt!
Glad you're feeling better for bashing on the roof! I often throw a few punches as my pillow!

Ooh - wearing tampons again girlies! Slid in beautifully. Second nature now. Going to advance to "Super" size tomorrow and may even progress to wearing one to work - oh la la, ark at me.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Annie well done with tampons!

We're all with you holding your hands through the IUI. I am no expert but if I can help in anyway just ask. I know I had lods buzzing round my head on our first IUI.
Have you been on the NHS waiting list then, is that why you only need to pay for drugs?
Its very exciting that once your back from your hols its all system go! and as I said we're all here with you.

Take care 

Donna xx

p.s will have to try and progress with tampons this month (if needed)


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - the hospital suggested that there wasn't a waiting list I was going up there to see a "Womens Health" Consultant when my periods didn't come back after being on the pill. He's going to be doing the IUI. He has a team of Midwives that work for him. It's not a fertility clinic as such. They do everything up there. Women going for early scans go to the same place!!! and the maternity ward is literally right opposite. Talk about from bang to cradle!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Annie - well done on the tampons!   And have you worn one to work? Have you phoned the hospital yet? 

Donna - good news about dh going back to work. That must be a great relief to you both. Hope the kitten is OK. 

Polly - hope all is well.

I am calm and collected today, and nothing is going to upset me.  
No excitement here, I'm afraid.

Bye for now,
Emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I've missed the hospital  . Got called away at work and didn't get back in time.

Will have to wait til tomorrow. Did wear "Super" to work


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Well done on the 'super'! Shame about the hospital. 

I've had a thrilling morning polishing and cleaning and DIYing. This afternoon I get to tackle the ironing mountain. I hate ironing so much, so save it all up for one hellish session each month. 
Definately think I'm overdue for some fun......

Hope you're all having more fun than me.
Emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - I thoroughly agree. You are due some fun. How about a weekend away with DH? or book yourself into a spa for the day if DH is a bit busy at the mo. I absolutely detest ironing. This reminds me actually ....

When DH & I first moved in together I was a very naive 20 year old girl. Each Saturday I would get up and spend the day cleaning our house. I don't just mean a cursory dust and polish, I mean on hands and knees scrubbing skirting boards type cleaning. I would also do all of our washing including bed sheets for both rooms and iron the lot. DH would either be at work or playing golf. Everything was done for him. He would then come home late afternoon - dump golf clubs in lounge (grass and all), go make himself a snack creating dirty utensils and crumbs everywhere, take a bath leaving a ring round the tub that I had just buffed to perfection and then plonk himself infront of the t.v to catch up on the sport. 2 whole years I did this for - 2 YEARS! Soon caught on to that one. Now we do our own ironing and DH does his bit too!

Had a typically naff day in the office. Off to Bingo tonight with the girls. Hoping to win the jackpot so I don't have to come back tomorrow, or at all for that matter!!!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Urgggh!

Just found out that "the Lad" is going to spend the weekend at DN's. So now he is going to meet the Boss's whole psycho family.  

What have I got myself into I HATE THIS!!! I don't want to come back to work, ever!!!! (can I come to Bingo with you, Annie?)

Bleurghhh, urkkk, fishcakes!

yours in deep despair

Polly

(I know, I know, I should have seen this coming)


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - good on you for making dh do his bit. It all sounds _very_ familiar.
I do everything in our house because I have time and dh has none. When I was working full-time it used to drive me crazy that I would spend all Sunday cleaning and polishing whilst dh would be having fun and messing it up! He'd say helpful things like 'you're so much better at cleaning than me' or claim he hadn't even noticed any mess. Although I moan, I couldn't cope with a dh who was house-proud and keen on polishing things. When we first got together, and I was so keen to impress him, I volunteered to do all his ironing (I don't even iron anything for myself). How stupid was that!

In his defence, he does cook, although only at weekends now.

Polly - this thing with the lad and DN sounds serious. The only thing to do is to start talking about weddings and babies in the hope that he'll run a mile. 
Could you send him on a course somewhere far away for a while?
Will you be at DN's too for that weekend? Are her parents happy about this budding romance?

Donna - how are you coping with all the screaming babies?

Until later,
Emma


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Back again,

It's not going to be my month. Af has just started.   8 days early. I have never had this before and don't understand it at all. It just came on all of a sudden with af pains too.

On the plus side, I can start the whole emotional rollercoaster again a week earlier than expected.

Donna, Polly - my hopes rest with you.    

Emma


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Emma I am so sorry to hear about af I hope you are truely ok, you sounded optimistic in your last post but I'm sure that isn't exactly the truth. We are all hear if you want to let it out.
You definatly deserve a treat now, spa day sounds fab!

Polly, I have no idea what to say about Dn I have no experience with it at all. I hope you get things sorted, and hay it may not be anywhere as bad as you think.

Annie, well done on wearing a tampon at work I will have to try that if AF arrives! feel spured on by you!

Decided that if af arrives I will go to family planning clinic and book a smear test, I might also enquire about clomid.
Not sure if I need it though??
I know I've asked before but did you need to have scans while you were taking it Annie? incase you overies were over stimulated? Couldn't bare to go through all the scans each month again.

Still quite cherpy but beginning to wilt now very very tired, but happy days its friday tommorrw and onto 2nd week of 2ww.

Emma just had a thought, are you sure this is a true period?

Night Night

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma - don't want to get you too excited, but that could be a sign. I have heard of implantation spotting being more like a lightish early af. See what happens! 

Annie, hope you cleaned up at Bingo!! You are doing so well, I hope you have a chance to call the hospital tomorrow! I'm afraid I am a hopeless lazy moo when it comes to housework. I'd get a cleaner in, but DH sends me out while he does the housework, our house is tiny. He also gets up early to do the ironing - he loves it! He gets a bit grumpy with me sometimes, mostly about being untidy, but he's a real gem. But then, I did get him pre-trained!

Emma, the cow next door!!! What does she think she's doing. Deffo, it's nothing to do with you that she is rude and ignorant. Wouldn't it have been fun if you had just leaned over the fence and asked why in front of everyone? I bet she would have been so wrong footed! 

Donna, how's work this week? Have you been run off your feet?

I am waiting away not too patiently. I do seem after all to have o'd early, so we'll see what happens next Thursday....

It's this weekend that The Lad is staying at DN's. I only found out when my DS rang to check which coach to put her on and book her back on - she's back here on this sunday and then going home on Friday. DS just dropped into the conversation that the Lad would be coming down on the same coach on Sunday. Took me a few mins to understand what she was on about. They haven't even been on a date yet, and already he's staying the weekend. (can you hear the disapproval?) tsk tsk. It's getting a bit serious. However, once he has met my DS, he might have a different view, but I don't like the situation at all. It's not that about disapproving of the relationship, that's my sis's job to decide, but I don't like the blurring of the boundaries here. 

Emma - I do hope that your bleed isn't af. Keep us updated!!

Love

Polly


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Donna - fancy a chat?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

I am going out of my mind, and thought I'd better come on here and bore you all with the details.  

It hadn't occurred to me until late last night that it could be implantation bleeding. This was after I'd drunk half a bottle of wine to cheer myself up.   I almost don't want to entertain the notion that it could be implantation bleeding, because then I'm building myself up for a huge fall. 

Here goes with the graphic details (feel free to look away). Yesterday, all of a sudden, I got af mild af pain. I rushed to the bathroom, and when I wiped there was the slightest hint of brown. I kept going to the bathroom all evening, and each time the same thing. It was very light in volume. I held off with tampons, waiting for af to kick in fully, as usually I get lots of the red stuff within about an hour of the pain. This morning I woke up to nothing, just the slight trace of brown when I went to the bathroom. I decided to put a tampon in and kept it in for about an hour. I've just removed it and it had some brown gunk and one tiny spot of red. So I have no idea. Could well be a light and peculiar af because it is so early. I can't get my hopes up. I guess I have to sit tight and see what develops. It is driving me crazy now.

I'm going to go out for some retail therapy to try to take my mind off it and stop me going to the bathroom every 2 minutes.

Hope you are all OK.
Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - This totally sounds to me like implantation bleeding!!!! Why would you all of a sudden have a period 8 days early? It's completely out of the norm,plus the fact that it's only the brown gunk bodes really well in favour of a BFP. OMG - I am totally excited.Go and get an early pregnancy test!!!!

I have had the morning from hell at work, but blow all that now. Emma I think this is it and God Damn it - I'm going away!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Annie - I would love you to be right, but I just don't want to get my hopes up. Plus there are posts on here (I did a search) saying implantation is no guarantee of a BFP; on the plus side if it is implantation it would mean that the wrigglies are getting to the right place.
Could very well be af though. I put another tampon in and have just removed it, and there was a tiny bit of red on that one too. I posted on 'ask a nurse' and someone said you shouldn't use tampons if you could be pg - that had never occurred to me.
I am not going to test - for one thing it is way too early (my ticker is wrong by at least a day). I don't have any hpts in the house at the moment. I was in Boots this morning and deliberately avoided that area! I bought lots more tampons instead; I'm building up quite a collection now.

Does anyone know how long implantation bleeding normally lasts? If it is one drop, so to speak, then it can't be the case.
Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry you are having a bad morning. You'll soon be on holiday!

Emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh Emma - you must be going out of your mind! I was just about to post on here that it might not be a good idea to use tampons right now. I have no idea how long implantation can last. I guess we have no choice but to wait and see what happens. I've got everything crossed for you   Keep us posted and I'm here all afternoon if you want a chat xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - Just found this:

I would suspect implantation bleeding if it occurs a bit earlier than expected, if it were scanty, spotty, pinkish and not red and heavy like a period, and does not follow the normal pattern of a period (light to heavy to light). 

The BBT should remain elevated and not decline to preovulatory levels. 

There is often the feeling that it is a period with light cramps and bloating, but the bleeding is shorter, lighter and just not normal. 

If a woman is usually regular, and now all of a sudden develops this type of early spotting, and of course is "at risk" for a pregnancy, I would strongly suspect conception.


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

OK....

I have a friend who was trying for ever to get pg. She had six (count 'em) IVFs and then a break.  Then she had an early af, and didn't think much of it. It was only a couple of weeks later when she was so exhausted that she thought again and tested. She now has a lovely 18 mth old who followed 9 mths later...

I know you don't want to get too excited, but you chill out, the rest of us can bite our nails for you!!            

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

You have all been so lovely!

The dream is over, I'm afraid. I'm pretty sure that it is actually af after all. The bleeding has got much heavier and is now red, and I have proper af-style cramps. I enjoyed thinking I might actually be pg for a few hours, but now I know that I'm not. 

This is the first month for ages that I haven't been monitoring my temperature, so I can't look to that for enlightenment one way or the other.

For a control freak such as myself it is driving me crazy that my body should be out of control and doing strange things for reasons I can't understand. Why did it work perfectly for all the years I wasn't/couldn't ttc and now it has to fail me!

I'm sure that this is a dim question, but why can't you use tampons if pg (apart from the obvious reason that you'd have no need to if you're not bleeding). What harm would it actually do?

Your support and excitement means so much to me. Sorry I've let you all down. Donna, Polly - you _must_ get bfns this month.   

Emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Let us down? - are you crazy!?!?! Of course you haven't let us down. I'm so sorry I got excited and so sorry if that in turn got your hopes up. That was really insensitve of me. 

You can come and join me in the land of mad periods if you need to. I too am an utter control freak, so I completely understand how frustrating this must be for you. 

Hopefully this was a one off freak incidence. Chin up matey, we're going to get there


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Oh, I'm so sorry, Emma.  

I really felt so hopeful for you. It's difficult to know when to be encouraging and when to hold back. The very best thing (next to getting a bfp myself, of course) is for one of you three to get it.

It's daft to think that you let us down, that's not anything like what it's about you daft  !!

Anyway, choccy is what you need, and a big hug from DH when he gets home.  

Take good care of yourself. 

Love

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie, Polly - thank you so much. What would I do without you (and Donna, of course). You both sounded so excited that I just hated having to be the bearer of bad news. Someone has to get a bfp soon to restore my faith in mother nature.

I have been to my allotment and attacked some weeds, and feel much better for it. I have to put it in perspective. Until yesterday I was pretty sure that I hadn't ovulated at all, so wasn't expecting a BFP. The past 24 hours was a blip. What it means is that I can start bms again a week earlier than expected, so I haven't lost anything. 
What concerns me is why I didn't ovulate and why af can be so early. Let's hope everything is back on course next cycle.

I need tea and chocolate now, and lots of it.
Emma,xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Howdi Girlies,

Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeee its friday!

Polly, sorry wasn't ignoring you last night I didn't see you post! I can see your frustration with DN but I 'm sorry hun think your gonna have to let this one runs its course, unless DS scares the life out of him  

Emma, so sorry AF got into full flow, I was reading the posts and getting so excited but you have in no way let me or any of us down! Liek you say you can have loads more bms sooner. You may have ovulated earlier than expected  or as you suspected not ovualted at all, But I really wouldn't worry about it it is also possible to ovualte twice in a month!

Annie, are you getting excited about your holiday now? I am so jealous wish I was jetting off on sunday!

So tired today, work hasn't been to bad this week all the babies have been fairly calm! got more babies nect week though I'll have 5 nect friday aaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhh

Been feeling really uncomfortable and bloated since the weekend now this may not be connected to anything but seems a little strange.
Thought I had some AF type pains this evening, but I know this sounds crazy but I'm not sure if I imagined them or not  

Anyone got anything nice planned over the weekend? well that question is really for polly as Annie is jetting off on her hols and Emma is dog sitting. Emma you MUST pamper your self while DH is away!

my weekend is full of NVQ course work I think! It will be worth it in the end

Catch ya later

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning

Thank you all so much for being so supportive yesterday. You are all amazing.

I am absolutely fine now. There is no point worrying about something I can't change. I'll hope it was a blip and everything will return to normal this month. If not I'll get checked out.

Donna - hope the coursework is going well. I hope you have some time to relax over the weekend too. You'll need all your energy for 5 babies!

Annie - have a _wonderful_ holiday.  Are you packed yet?

Polly - hope all is well with you. Try not to worry about DN. Is she very sensible and an 'old' 16? I understand what you mean about blurred boundaries though; the lad goes from being an employee to one of the family almost overnight. You will take it all in your stride, I'm sure.

I am going to complete all my errands and household drudgery this morning, and then have a lovely relaxing afternoon. I think that slobbing in front of the TV with a book, or watching a film, is the order of the day.

Have a lovely day everyone,
Emma,


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Annie have a lovely and relaxing hoilday, how long are you going for?

Emma, finished all your chores yet? your afternoon sounds lovely.

Polly try not to worry about DN and the boy hopefully it will all work out or may even fizzle out in no time.

All DH and I seem to be doing so far is bickering about everything and anything, think it must be the stress if 2ww and that money is still gonna be tight as will take some time till it all sorts out and DH blames himself! not like he jumped otu infront of the car!

Think we are going to go food shopppign then treat oursleves to breakfast not that we can afford it by stuff it we deserve a treat!

Talk to you all later,

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Donna - how was your breakfast? Wasn't it a bit late for breakfast?! You both definately deserve a treat.

I'm not a bit surprised that you and dh have been bickering. He must be getting so bored with not working, and you are under a lot of stress at work and with the 2ww. I'm sure things will be better once he is working again.

I'm off to slob out in front of the TV now. How lazy........

Take care,
Emma


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Emma,

Yes was abit late for breakfast but had Full english breakfast anyhow, just really fancied it! what a  

We've been ok for the rest of the day and its been really nice and relaxing.
Just layed on the bed talking about this and that, and of course pregnancy came up! we talked about options for maternaty leave and returning to work stuff like that.
I ended up having a nap! how lazy!
Woke up feeling really sick! beginning to ease off a bit now gonna try eating something see how I feel - cant help thinking it could be a sign but think its to early to morning or evening sickness   had some clear dischage (sorry tmi) when I just went ot the toilet kind of like ovulation mucus - very unusall as I know its not ovulation mucus.

well done on having a lazy afternoon you deserve it you have been so busy lately!
Hows AF in full flow yet?

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Annie, hope I'm not too late to wish you a good holiday!                

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie you wont get this now but have a fabtastic holiday!

Polly, how are you?

Emma, what did DH think of the house? are you going to put in an offer?

Feeling much better today so not sure what last night was all about tried to eat someting but really didn't feel like it in the end DH suggested ginger so I tried that and sickness went away! very strange!

Must crack on with course work now! and next weeks planning for work  

Talk later,

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning!

Donna - how wonderful if the sickness were a sign of something. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you and Polly. When are you both testing?

Dh loved the house. We are going to put in an offer, although whether it will be accepted without us having sold our house yet is another matter. Someone is coming to look on Wednesday, but the odds of the first person liking it enough to make an offer are small. I've been to the garden centre this morning (yes, I know it is the wrong time of year) to buy things in flower to fill in a few gaps and make the garden look perfect! 

Af is petering out. It was heavier yesterday, but nothing overnight. I reckon it is light because it's not a proper af and is so early.

Have a lovely day everyone,
Emma, xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Emma,

That is fantastic that DH loved the house I hope your offer is excepted and it doesn't take to long for you to sell your house.

I am hoping that sickness was a sign of something but think it is to early to be anyting so not getting my hopes up.
AF is due fri/sat so we will see what happens, Have no HPT in the house! 
Its DH's birthday on sunday and keep thinking how lovely it would be to find out I ma pregnant then!

If AF is lighter than normal is there still a chance its not a real period, it is common for women to have a bleed around the time there AF is due, thats why some women don't realsie they are pregnant straight away.

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Been busy, I've done some college work but then got bored so went for a walk with DH and ended up buying all the folders and bits I need for when I start college.
When we got home I finnished next weeks planning for work, bit silly that you have to plan activites for babies but have to show OFSTED we do our best for the children - which we do!

Kitten went out today for first time! it is a bit early as shouldn't really go out till wednesday but DH wanted to let him out!
Thought he woul dbe scared as the other 2 cats were when we let them out but he disappeared up a tree!   very adventerous.

Don't know what is happening to me have increased discharge today that is quite runny!? (sorry tmi  )
Also have an incredibally runny nose! it is driving me mad! no other cold symtoms though! Have read that having a stuffy or runny nose can be a sign of pregnancy but think it is an old wives tale and I am more likely to be getting a cold!

How is everyone?

Donna xx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

New home this way http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,34373.new.html#new


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