# I figured out why I was so down this month/Sweet Grapes



## emmag (Mar 11, 2007)

So I figured out why I was so down this month (well, apart from the usual downer that happens once a month!) - I noticed that in a couple of weeks I'm away for the weekend on a course, and I suddenly remembered booking the course. I must have been about half way through my last cycle of IVF becasue I remember thinking hard about if I should book the course or not, because if the IVF worked, I would have been having a baby that week.  
I now remember that, at the time, I decided I shouldn't put stuff off just in case the IVF worked (and I was very aware it probably wouldn't work!) and I also remember thinking that if I had to cancel because I was in labour, I wouldn't give two hoots! - I'd be having a baby!

So I think that's probably all been in the back of my mind this month.


Anyway, unrelated (well, not unrelated, but you know what I mean) - I've started reading "Sweet Grapes" and so far I think it is completely briliant.  I've had to book since I did the workshop with Maggie Mae, and I hadn't even opened it before this week, but I'm a firm believer that books jump out at you when the time is right to read them, and I think the time is absolutely right for me to read this book.  I haven't heard many people talk about it, but if it carries on the way it starts, it's going to be really helpful  

xxx


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## Guest (Sep 28, 2007)

Hi Emmag,

So sorry to read of your upset, completely understandable we can't ever help having those "what if" thoughts.......even though we know they probably (and do) end in sad reminders of what could have been.

Sweet grapes sounds good, my advice is to get on the sofa tonight with a nice warm blanket, mug of hot chocolate and your book and snuggle up! Now lets face it you wouldn't be able to do that if you had kids  

Take care huni xx


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## Yamoona (Nov 7, 2005)

Sweet grapes was on my list of books to get after the workshop but haven't yet. Think I will see if I can order it. 

I am glad you are feeling better. We too have just had an anniversary of when last treatment failed (22nd). Felt down all week as it coincided with ovulation but feel better today. 
xx


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Oh no Emma, it's horrible when we are reminded like that. I hope the course you are on is an interesting one (?) I think you me and Yamoona will all be down in the dumps together as October is always a horrible month for me too due to failed tx and anniversaries. I think autumn is a time of 'drawing in' anyway - I've already noticed the days getting shorter. Like Jodie says, we need to hunker down with some good books. I'm into horror at the moment - got scared sh**less with The Shining, now reading Algernon Blackwood's short stories...
Bernie xx


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Ahhh Emma  

I always find this time of year hard, I hate the way the nights draw in and I hate how its pitch black in the mornings when I'm on an early shift - I went to work in the moonlight yesterday morning, it was quite surreal! I have a couple of anniversaries too this time of year - it sucks.

Joining you all on that big comfy sofa with a cup of hot chocolate and marshmellows!

Love to all

Emcee xxx


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## emmag (Mar 11, 2007)

Myownangel said:


> I hope the course you are on is an interesting one


The is a knitting weekend, so it should be great!


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

So you are an experienced knitter, Emma? (Bernie now bursting with excitement!!!) So that means that you can help me find the elusive 'earflap' hat knitting pattern? Oh I hope so - I've been looking everywhere. I have this earflap hat that I ADORE. It is in pink chunky knit wool and to look at you would think it would be simple to make - but I can't find a decent pattern. To be honest I wouldn't know where to look... had a few patterns off the net. Tried one and it didn't work. I want to make one for all my friends (whether they like it or not) - I want everyone in the WORLD to have one of these hats!!   Yes, I've gone a bit bonkers...
Bernei xxx


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## Maggie Mae (Mar 2, 2006)

Hi Em, 

Been away for a few days and so off the boards and getting to your message late.... It can sometimes seem that no nook or cranny is free from this stuff, and that the significance of every date on the calendar can grind it's way home.... I'm glad you've picked up sweet grapes; I have found it the most helpful book so far, primarily because the authors finish with realism and hope without trying to wash away the heartache... I hope it is helping, and that the sky is clearing for you... Love, MM XXXXXXXX


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