# meeting possible los social worker? help!



## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

Can anyone give me some information about what happened at their first social work appointment when they have registered interest in a profile?  Was it like an interview, fact finding, etc?  Thanks x


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Hiya fran, just a quick while dh is occupying lo with a much wanted bottle.
Fab news, I as so thrilled for you.
Our interview was very informal - though we were still terrified. They already knew lot of general things from our par but explored specifics that they thought were relevant in a bit more detail. 

At first they gve us information about lo and really brought him to life. We had highlighted any point in his report that we felt exploring and that ok place. Then we asked aloud of questions about bf and the implications (not many really) I think they pick up a lot really from the questions you ask. I found it hard striking the balance, I wanted and needed as much info as possible but I also wanted to make a good impression - it was strange.
Then they asked us questions and tailored some to what we had brought up when discussing lo. They asked about childcare, if more siblings came along our thoughts on the contact arrangements, what issues we thought may arise in the future regarding lo history etc.
Our sw was present , as was the family finder and lo sw but it really wasn't too bad at all.
Good luck luv flash xxx


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

Exciting! Fran omg!!  

Ours was really informal, we had the Family Finding SW, our SW and his SW here to the house, we sat around the kitchen table and chatted, they gave us loads of information and didn't really ask lots, then we had a tour of the house to show his potential bedroom (we'd not started to decorate by then) etc.  It was nice, not scary at all.  She's already shown an interest by agreeing to come and see us and I didn't feel under pressure at all. 

Good luck!!!


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## snapdragon (Jun 27, 2011)

Ours was a chat and we weren't really asked any questions. Would you believe neither my sw or Lo's have ever even been upstairs in my house let alone seen Lo''s bedroom. Bid sad they are not interested.


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## Doofuz (Mar 9, 2008)

How exciting Fran! I'm afraid I don't know the answer as we haven't got that far yet... But I would just like to say good luck. Looking forward to seeing how you got on x


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

snapdragon said:


> Ours was a chat and we weren't really asked any questions. Would you believe neither my sw or Lo's have ever even been upstairs in my house let alone seen Lo''s bedroom. Bid sad they are not interested.


That's shocking! We've had at least 4 different SW's traipsing around our house at one point or another! I loved showing where Bluebird would sleep, they checked the distance to your bedroom, how many doors he might have to negotiate etc. They checked the windows for possible H&S issues. How can they have done a H&S check without going upstairs? How very strange! Mind you, nothing surprises me any more! lol xx


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## snapdragon (Jun 27, 2011)

We did have a different sw for approval so health and safety was done but I have had my present sw since July last year and both she and Lo's sw have been here many times. Lo has been with me 6 months.


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## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

Thanks everyone! ! So helpful!! I know we want this to happen but didn't really have any idea what 'this' was! I now have an idea. We want to try ans get as much of the house finished as possible but we are not made of money and not got all the resources!! 
Will they expect our room to be decorated and our bathroom for the whole process to continue! I know it sounds ridiculous but we have a house to paint and we can manage some of it not all of it before (if/when) they were to move in!
I am also curious as to how honest the kids social workers are going to be about behavioural problems etc! 
We have to make a good impression. But our  on lawn Moyer does not work for the field so we have long grass! Will that go against us! 
Hubby starts course on mid September is there any of you that would think it could happen before then? 
Also do you think this could really happen!! What could go wrong!!!!! Any ideas!!! 
Sorry I am waffling!!! I feel like I did when I was pregnant!! Emotional, scared and so so happy!!! I worry we are falling in love too soon!! We carry their photos everywhere!!
Your support and advice means so much as we are not telling Anyone about this, other than my parents!!! 
Love to all x x x


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## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

Also what happens after this Appointment?!?


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Fran, those feeling are so very normal. I am sure that if you didnt feel those things then something would be wrong! It matters because this is so huge. Our house wasn't finished (including the outside space wasnt safe) but we just explained what we were going to do and had a clear plan of where and when. That seemed to keep them happy. Im probably not the best one to comment on honesty from lo's sw as we were mis-informed about some vital medical information and it didnt come to light until a few weeks before our original panel date. As it happened it didnt inpact other than causing a delay while tests were carried out. I would ask for evidence and if you feel there are behaviour issues that you may not be receiving all the facts for ask to speak to the fc sooner rather than later. You do need ALL available information in order to make a decision thats right for you ALL. 

Re timescale - we met sw end of  Feb and were due to go to panel mid april and meet Lo end of april - so yes it can be done by September!!!! How exciting is that? 

Following that meeting all parties decide if they wish to go ahead - we decided during the meeting and a matching meeting is planned where the sw thrash out any details such as contact. We didnt go to that meeting.

I too fell in love way too soon but my belief was 'if it goes wrong it wont hurt any less, we would be devastated and it would have broken our hearts but it if doesnt go wrong we will never experience this again and we may have missed it because we were scared and reticent to enjoy the moment' I know everyone is different and yes there are things that can go wrong but i think love never hurt anyone -  dreams do come true - ours is asleep in his cot, cwtching his 'iggle piggle' as i type this xxx


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## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

Flash thanks so much!! We are so excited about it all but it seems like alot to take in! How did you cope ha ha!!! Your message helps no end! I am exhausted by it all! And that doesn't sound good! There is also so much to
organise! 
We are not the most organised of folk sometimes!! For instance had plans today to get loads done and ended up out for lunch!! Te he!! Suppose we should enjoy it while we can! 
Thanks again!! X x


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## pnkrobin (Dec 19, 2011)

It might be worth remembering that by coming out to see you they must already have seen something in your PAR that they really like! We were so happy after the SW visit x


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

The only thing I would say, is try and remember that it's not just about them deciding they like you, you need to find out as much as you can in order for you to decide that this sounds like the child for you.  There was a thread on the resources forum about questions to ask the f/c.  I would ask the SW a lot of the same thing, without the tiny details about routine of course.  Then ask the f/c the same thing when you meet them, because the answers may not be the same.  With Bladelet the SW had given us quite a bit of incorrect information.  It wasn't anything major in the grand scheme of things, but important details that we needed for planning how to integrate Wyxling and Bladelet's very different lifestyles.

Good luck!


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## pnkrobin (Dec 19, 2011)

That's a good point. We were actively encouraged to ask questions and naturally we did have questions to ask. In the end we had a sort of list of 8. Asking questions proves you have given serious thought to how the LO will suit you and vice versa. Enjoy this time though as it is a very exciting stage. I'm looking forward to catching up with my SW this week re future meetings. xx


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## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

Thanks pinkrobin and wyxie!
You have both raise valuable points! Especially the 'they wouldn't be coming if they didn't like us! But also and very importantly the bit about checking to see if both parties are interested!!! 
We have a list of questions kinda of! Some important some not!
I am wondering if people get turned away at this stage! Anyone know of this Our sw says they liked our par and liked the sound of us!! I think we are in deep though! I am saddened to think it could go wrong!! I think our heart's would break!! We have never felt this happy!!! Oh God what if it goes wrong!! 
Pinkrobin... What happened after your 1st meeting? Sounds like a very exciting time for you!!!! How brilliant!!!! 
Love to all from a besotted frangipanii x z


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

Sounds like it's all very positive fran and not long to wait.  Have my fingers and toes crossed they are your little ones


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## pnkrobin (Dec 19, 2011)

On the day of the meeting it was apparent on both sides that everyone was happy. They asked us to ring our SW the next day to give our decision and LO's Sw on the day said she felt "very positive" about us. Generally it was a relaxed, smiley meeting. They - after that - started discussing panel dates and paperwork etc. We then found out we were to have a 2nd visit which our SW assured us there was 0 to worry about just further information exchanging and practicalities about intros. This is planned for one day this week. I'm still keeping everything crossed but I'm confident all will go ahead and LO will be ours one day soon xx It's impossible to stay neutral and calm I wouldn't want to be at this stage. If it feels right then it should be exciting and any let down now would have to be devastating if you know what I mean xx


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## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

thanks guys, i am using your stories to fill in the gaps as to what may happen! I am worried as I have no idea what could go wrong! Bar the obvious and the social workers dislike us completely but i cannot see that happening as we are fairly normal and nice enough to not dislike immediately! 
I dont know, my mind is a whirl wind of possibilities! Has anyone met with social workers and then it all gone wrong! I hope not! My mind is made up!
anyway going to take this sad but hopeful face and wondering mind to bed and maybe i will find some peace in between hubbies snores! 

xx


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