# 5dp2dt and in massive need of support - totally on the edge today



## Skyler

Hi Guys

This is my 2nd time doing a fresh ICSI cycle and 5 days in I am a complete wreck!!  We did the first one back in 2010, the fresh one failed but we had 4 frosties, 1st one of those failed but the 2nd went on to be our totally adorable and very much loved 2 year old son   After having the successful frozen transfer with my natural cycle I just (stupidly) assumed that our 4th and final remaining frostie would also be successful but sadly that failed in Oct last year.  Being faced with starting from scratch was devastating! But here we are.  After a great start with 13 eggs collected the bottom fell out of my world when they told us only 2 had fertilized, worse still, when we got to the clinic they were going to transfer just 1 (as we had requested) but said the 2nd wasn't good enough to freeze so we decided to go all in.  And so... here I am 5dp2dt with 2 on board going totally out of my mind, analyzing every little thing (even though I know it's too early for symptoms) but the fact that my boobs have now stopped hurting has made me think it's all over... I've been on the verge of tears all day   So basically just after some love and support, and maybe a stern talking to! xxx


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## Dee55

Hi Porky,

I'm crap at pep talks but I didn't want to read and run   

Please relax and focus on having a positive mental attitude. Someone posted that watching comedy during your 2ww helps, which I found kept my mind of symptom spotting and kept me sane. Try it. Or perhaps take your DS to the park, it's a beautiful day today, spend lots of time with your little man and focus on him, you will get through this x

Good luck and lots of baby dust 
Dee xxx


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## Willzig

Hi porky I too am on my second fresh ICSI cycle my first ended in a early mc back in 2011. This time round I am a lot more nervous, I had 11 eggs collected 5 fertilised  one dropped back 2 were transferred but the other 2 we're not good enough to freeze I'm 10dp4dt and picking up on every thing I've been feeling really sick for the last 6 day my breasts are massive but also not hurting anymore my tummy is swollen and I'm feeling very tired a lot, I'm not sure if it's all in my mind or if it could be symptoms.  try and keep positive I know it's hard and I really do understand were u are coming from think this part the unknown is definitely the worst xxx sending hugs and lots of baby dust x x


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## Skyler

Thanks for replying guys! Always good to know you're not on your own.  

Dee55 I'm actually at work today (although have been googling non stop for early symptoms, embryo quality... you know.. the usual!).  Thought being at work would keep my mind off things but it seems to have been worse.  Am off for the rest of the week though and have a lovely weekend planned with the little man for Easter... May also be trying out the comedy... thanks for the tip!  you'd think I'd be used to this 2ww malarkey by now after already having done 4!xx

Willzig, I'm so sorry to hear you went through this whole nightmare only for it to end in MC... that must have been awful! and thank you so much for your support!  I wish I'd kept a diary from my previous 2ww's as I honestly can't remember how I felt with DS.  It's so hard not to analyse every little thing even though I know it's probably from the pessaries.  Are you on Cyclogest? When do you test?xx


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## Willzig

Hi porky yes I'm on cyclogest and also wish I had kept a diary can't remember if I felt like this last time, I'm due to test tomorrow I'm soooo nervous .


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## Dee55

Hi Porky, 

Well you're doing better than you thought, actually getting up and getting into work is the hardest part, I always took the 2ww off as I couldn't manage at work. 

Enjoy your weekend with DS. 

Willzig good luck with testing tomorrow 

Baby dust to all  

Dee xxx


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## Wraakgodin

to FF, Porky !!!

First, deep breaths!!!! You won´t find a stern talking to here, just a huge cyberhug . The 2ww is an evil time, enough to send the sanest of us loopy! I was the same as you during my first IUI, analysing every little thing, wondering what was going on, and it resulted in me having a panic attack at work, something I have never had before or since. I just got myself in such a tizz! For subsequent treatments I tried to keep busy, keep my mind on other things. I read, studied, watched films (funny, light hearted ones are best, not the hide behind the sofa ones, those aren´t good for stress levels! ), did cross stitch, played computer games, even tried and failed to learn the piano, anything to take my mind off what was going on inside. Is there anything that you can get lost in? Something to take your mind off things as much as you can - yes I know it is easier said than done! Oh, and step away from Dr Google - that is banned for the next fortnight! 

You can´t really tell anything before test date, some people have symptoms, others don´t, and it also varies from cycle to cycle. And, for example, cramping could mean that a period is coming, or it could mean that the little one is snuggling in - there is just no way of telling! That is why I think mother nature must be a man, no woman would put another woman through such torture!

For my IVF treatment I only had 2 eggs, out of those only one fertilised and was put back, the result is now 4 years old! Sometimes it does just take one good quality stubborn one!  Dont give up!!!

There is a "2WW, Ladies in Waiting" section ~ CLICK HERE, perhaps they could help, or offer suggestions to keep sane.

Good luck! I hope the pee stick gives you wonderful news at the end of it!!!                      

Sue


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## Skyler

Haha.. Sue your post made me laugh, brilliant that you learned piano to take your mind off it all and reading about your panic attack kinda put things a bit more in perspective.  Just before I posted on here my Husband called about something completely unrelated and I literally bit his head off and burst into tears... totally irrational!!   so yes I know you're right, Dr Google defo needs to do one and I probably should get on with some work to take my mind of things for the rest of the day   as for getting lost in something, with a very lively 2 year old to entertain I have a feeling the next 5 days will fly  

OMG Willzig... sending you lots of baby dust!! I so hope you get 2 sticky beans xxxx Please let me know how it goes xxx

Really... thanks guys!!! xxx


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## Willzig

Morning porky, I hope u are feeling a bit better today and managed to busy yourself  the rest of the day yesterday,I have been thinking about u. 

I did my test this morning I woke at 5 needing the toilet and thought I will do it now and it came back positive we are over the moon, 

Sending u lots of hugs a baby dust I really hope all goes well for u 
Xxxxx


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## Skyler

Oh Huni that's amazing news!! Am sat in the hairdressers crying with joy for u!! Haha how silly xxx I have been thinkin of u all morning wandering how u got on, thank u for letting me know  

Really don't know how I feel today, so up and down literally full of positivity one second n then full of dispair the next! Still no symptoms, very light cramping on n off but assuming that's the delightful cyclogest. God I hate this!

Anyhoo, totally over the moon for u! Pls let me know after your scan how it goes and if you get one or two  lots of love xxx


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## Willzig

Hi porky I was thinking about u and thought I would message u to see how u are. I hope u are feeling a little better xx


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## Skyler

Hi there Willzig.  How you feeling?  Did you get your scan date yet?

Thanks for thinking of me.  I honestly don't know how I am... going mental probably describes it best! lol So by Saturday I had totally come to terms with the fact that this cycle has failed and just wanted it to be over, started looking into clinics abroad and all sorts.  Had no cramping no sore boobs, nothing!!  Even considered stopping the Cyclogest to get my period quicker but thought I'd plough on through to Friday like I'm meant to.  Then... Sunday I had some very light pink spotting (this would have been 9dp2dt or 11dpo) and for the rest of the day had mild to moderate cramping on and off all day so convinced myself that maybe all is not lost and perhaps it was just a late implanter... however yesterday and today back to nothing so now I'm thinking maybe I scratched myself putting in the pessary??  Haha... honestly I'm driving myself insane!  Guess I wont know for sure until Friday.  Out of all 5 2ww's I've been through this has definitely been the hardest and time seems to have stood still! It's bloody torture! xxxx


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## Willzig

Oh bless u porky, 
it sounds like you have had a terrible time, I have read so many comments that people have had no symptoms but do end up with a positive result so I'm thinking positive for u.
please let me know how u get on tomorrow, I will be thinking of you x x x


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## Wraakgodin

Thinking of you today, Porky.               

Sue


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## Skyler

Hey there Willzig and Sue, thank you so much for your thoughts!! Really helps to know others are rooting for you!

So by last night I was feeling nauseous, crampy and (FINALLY) had sore (.)(.)   Couldn't sleep and was up and down to the loo all night so thought sod it at 2.30am and did the test.  Got a very faint BFP!! WOO HOO! can you believe it!  Was concerned about it being faint but tbh the sample was very weak and if it was late implantation spotting on Sunday then it's still early days.  General concensus amongst my friends and family is 'a line is a line!'.  

Called the hospital and they said it's still a positive no matter how faint so they've booked my 7 week scan and have asked me to retest in a week to confirm.  AS IF I'm waiting a week!  I've got another test ready for tomorrow and am holding my wee all night tonight!  

Ladies thank you so much for your support! and Willzig I wish you a very happy and healthy 9 months xxxxxxx


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## Wraakgodin

wooohooooo!  Congratulations, Porky!!!    

Sue


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## Willzig

Woo hoo fantastic news porky I'm soooo pleased for u. I've been thinking about u today : ). I've  got my scan Tuesday the 6th may so I will let u know how it goes I also did another test this morning as I was panicking but it confirmed I'm still pregnant and has gone up a week so that's put my mind at ease. Keep in touch would love to know how u get on with scan etc x x x


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## Skyler

Thanks guys!!

Ah 6th may is my birthday  yes will defo keep in touch would b lovely to keep up to date on progress n compare notes xx

That's the trouble isn't it, you think after your 2ww you'll b able to relax but its a constant stressing about one thing or another. I remember going for my 7week scan with DS and bursting into tears just before they did it as I was so frightened there would be nothing there. Have to think now its all out of our control n as long as we're healthy and sensible all should be fine. We've done the hardest part, although I'm sure after your previous experience you'll feel like walking on egg shells.

Good luck for 6th will b thinkin of u xxx


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## Willzig

Hi porky hope all is going well for you, I had my scan on the 6th and all is good one baby with a strong heart beat I cried with joy, hope to hear from you soon x x


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## Skyler

Hey Willzig, have sent you a private message (I think).  Let me know if it doesn't come through x


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