# ASF - how & when?



## Helend75 (Dec 9, 2012)

My lb (3yrs, 10 months) is largely delightful, and is meeting all developmental milestones in terms of health & abilities. We do however have a few concerns about his emotional development, and this evening we’ve had a third major meltdown (where he just can’t be reached, and any attempt to touch him is met with ‘Ow, you’re hurting me’). It’s been like going back 12+ months in time. Now, it may be the warm weather, tiredness, a combination of the 2 (& he’s getting it in the neck a bit being called a baby by other children who start school in September, as he’s not 4 until September so has another year to wait - being goaded isn’t helping 😣), and it may be age appropriate, but I worry he’s suffering emotionally & am unsure how to proceed. Do I wait it out or do I ask for support/intervention? I think as I teach teens (or did!), I have a very good idea of what happens if you don’t addresss issues swiftly enough, but I can also see that a 3 month wait may tell a different story. 
Do I just want the advice of a sw or should I be asking to tap into the ASF? 
He is aware of the bare bones to his life story, but has zero interest in learning about it (I’ve found the book posted under closed doors before - I know, he doesn’t want to acknowledge 😢).

So, ASF, too trivial at this stage? Give it a few months? Or call sw tomorrow?!?


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Hi, I think if it were me I would call post adoption support. Even if it's just to have a meeting without lb a chance for you to talk it through they can then help you to decide if further action is needed yet. 

We have accessed pas and really benefited. I'd also keep in mind that if you are to start accessing support now even just a little then you may get more support for school. Things take time, and it's best to start thinking of how it may help with school next year. 

I'm a member of natp which has some amazing resources & knowledgeable people who give great advice might be worth looking there too

Good luck x


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## ciacox (May 31, 2013)

Hey there - we've actually just contacted post adoption support to discuss whether we might benefit from support for our eldest. in our case it's been about his difficulties managing the transition to having a younger sibling. constantly trying to figure out whether this is just normal 3 year old stuff or whether we have an emerging problem that we need to get a handle on. we've been resistant to calling because I think we were afraid we'd turn it into a big deal in our heads once we start asking for help. but in the end we've decided to just enquire and see what help might be out there. so hard with our littles knowing when to worry! 

part of me feels a bit gutted that we've invited social workers back into our home again (they're going to come out and do an assessment). we now have the adoption order for our youngest and for the first time in three and a half years we were free of social workers... 

good luck - hope you guys figure out a way through.


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## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

We are also about to ask for pas for our 6 year old. Emotionally she just can’t manage herself, it’s really hard to describe it in a way that doesn’t just sounds normal for her age but I know it’s not quite right and she can be really sad sometimes in a way a child shouldn’t be. I keep putting it off because last time we started theraplay I was told I wasn’t a good enough parent after 30mins with the 2 of us. Really didn’t help but I need to just deal with it and get her the help she needs - have heard great things about art therapy.


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