# Getting your head round egg donation and early menapause



## esme00 (Jan 19, 2011)

I think i need a slap, but i was just wondering if anyone out there has been through a similar thing.
My DH and i have been trying for a baby for 3 years and last year we bit the bullet and went to the GP, who did some tests. My DH count was low and we were referred to the local hospital. In the meantime i had some blood test done and was told by the GP receptionist they were all looking normal. But when we attended the hospital appointment. i was informed that my FSH level was far from normal it was 160, and i was going through the menopause (i was only 37 at the time).
I now find myself in the position of not only realising that egg donation is our only option, and having to get my head around the feelings associated with that. But the symptoms of the menopause...
We have been put on the NHS list for egg donation but in the meantime we are also arranging egg donation in Cyprus (hopefully in may).
I guess i want someone to tell me I'm not allown. My DH is very quite when i ask him to talk about it! He fills up and says he doesn't want to up set me.


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## Daizymay (May 13, 2010)

Hey Esme00,
Yep - I'm in a pretty similar situation. TTC 6year, in the NHS system for 3years. I have high FSH at 15.7 ('borderline premenopausal'). I don't have any menopause symptoms tho, but my 4th treatment cycle has just failed due to poor quality eggs (AMH 3.5). I'm 40 in April. It's only this week that we've started talking about using an egg donor - I have no idea where to go, what to do, who to ask. My DH also finds it hard to talk - but it's something that I feel is imperative to keep yourselves together and strong. Not sure if that helps!


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## jenny80 (Apr 8, 2009)

Hi

Please dont be too hard on yourself egg donation is something that takes time to get your head around and you also need to grieve the fact that your baby will not have your DNA  so give yourself time for the grieving process to occur.

I know when I was a teenager that I would required a egg donor as dont produce eggs and it has taken me time to accept this. I know look at egg donation as postive as its my only chance of getting pregnant. I know that the baby will be in me for 9 months and although may not look like me but will be brought up with me nuturing them and hope they share my mannerism and values in life which in my personal view is far more important than looks.

I lost my son at 24 weeks and i can say i would of died to save him and love him every day still. He was concieved via embryo adoption so did not have mine or DH DNA but our love for him is everlasting and would have done anything including giving up my life for him so i can say truely that a baby by egg donation will be yours no matter what.

Its a difficult road and you must do whats right for you.

wishing you lots of luck whatever you decided.

Jenny xx


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## Mamaji (Jan 21, 2011)

My husband and I started process of exploring having ICSI.  He had a vasectomy when he was 24 (now 47), the doc said that sperm retrieval would be an option for him as he is producing sperm.  However did AMH for me and it was 3.6!!! followed by a scan which showed that i only had 5 follicles in total.  doc said 10% chance of retrieving eggs from me.  I am 38 and it has taken me to this age to find someone I love and wanted to have a family with!  doc suggested egg donation as apparently 50% success rate if it was my sister donating.  I cant get my head round having someone else's eggs, i already feel like a failure that I have low and poor quality eggs.  It feels like if I accept someone else's eggs it is reconfirming that i am a failure!  My husband doesnt understand, i cant stop crying!  Part of me is silently whispering to me that I need to accept that i will not give birth and to progress with adoption but i cant even put my heart into that place yet


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## 2moggies (Mar 9, 2009)

Hi Esme00 you are not alone and don't need a slap. I also went through the menopause at 37 while trying to conceive it is a horrible thing to happen and takes time to get over it.


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