# an upsetting question i talk about birth defects (sorry i dont mean to offend )



## babybiggles (May 1, 2006)

hi ya ladies
I am so sorry to ask such a horrible question and if this offends anyone I will take it down but I am a bit upset, sometimes the internet isn't a good thing as I have done research on pcos, metaformin, diabetes etc and I have found out that with pcos and diabetes there is an increased risk of birth defects and that could be heart defects, I am at a loss as that was what my beautiful connall had heart defects and now I feel so awful, I know at the time of concieving connall I had no idea and that at 7 weeks connall alreadly had his heart defects which where picked up at 20 weeks, and I suppose me winding myself up about this all isn't helping as i can not change the past and blaming myself will not make it any better, I need to be positive and try and believe the future will be good, but I feel so down and angry at myself, am I to blame , did I cause all of this to happen with my son, I had no idea about pcos, and stuff and now I just don't know what to do if I loose loads of weight will that help change things with my pcos, could it get rid of it or does pcos stay with you just one of those things, I am so stupid I have been eating for england and steadily putting on weight which is making things worse but for some reason I cant stop myself, I think its a bit of depression, up until the hols I have had a horrendous few months and eating was my comfort, but I am so angry at myself for causing my health issues for being so over weight , with metaformin should you cut all sugar out of your diet completely was looking at doing the tesco low gi diet as apposed to weight watchers and how do you cut sugar out completely, sorry this is all muddles ad confused and probably makes no sense but I am upset that I am to blame for it all, and yet I still cant stop reaching for foods with a bit of sugar in wish someone would wire my mouth up or give me some self control


sorry lisa


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## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Dear Babygiggles
Please try not to beat yourself up - defects can happen for any number of reasons, not just PCOS or diabetes, and alot of the time, no-one knows why they have happened.  In any case, even if your conditions did make heart defects more likely, it is not your fault - you didn't ask to have them.    

PS: I'm not an expert on PCOS but I know that it makes losing weight more difficult. I wonder if you might be able to get some help with a diet which might help you feel better and maybe also lose some weight.  Perhaps you could ask your doctor for advice, or get hold of a book which might be able to help. I've heard that a low GI diet can help.  Why don't you post for some advice on the PCOS Board as I am sure the girls there will be able to help you. I am sure there will be things you can try which might help.

You sound so unhappy in your post.  It sounds like you have had a horrible time recently so please try to be kind to yourself.  I really hope you are feeling better soon.   

Best wishes

Ellie


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## scratch (Aug 5, 2004)

Lisa

Sorry your feeling so mixed up chicken. But I had Diabetes when I carried my daughter(insulin injections 4 times aday) and she was born absolutely perfect. 
Sometimes it is just one of those things and nothing we say or do can change the situation.

I am 100% sure that your little angel is perfect in everyway and he willl be keeping a very close eye on your next little treasure. TRy and stay positive

Sal x


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## KerryB (Mar 7, 2005)

Lisa hun

Please don't blame yourself for what happened. There is no proof to say this was related to your PCOS.  I've been feeling the same as you about my weight, and DH and I had a huge heart to heart yesterday about it. He didn't realise I was struggling so much. The thing with PCOS is it can't be cured but it can be controlled, by diet mostly! I've decided I've wasted enough time, taking clomid for a year and not trying hard to lose weight. Its a vicious circle sometimes though, you know losing weight will help but get depressed at how hard it is, eat, get more depressed, eat.....thats my cycle anyway.  The GI diet is very good for PCOS sufferers as it controls your blood sugar, helps with cravings and does help lose weight. Come and join us on the diet thread and we'll all help you along.

You can change your situation, and we'll do everything we can to help you.

K
xxxx


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## Kissy Bear (Aug 2, 2006)

Hi Lisa! Firstly I am so sorry to hear your sad news!    

I know what a difficult time you must be going through.... You have obviously a lot of questions that need answering and a lot of thoughts/ emotions that need tender loving care!   

By looking up information on the internet - it can be very dangerous, so much information can make us think too much. My Fertility centre advised me to be careful of all the information you can get and keep an open mind. Sometimes we search for answers when life throws hurdles at us and sometimes there could be numerous questions applicable.

I also know the enormous pressure we put on ourselves to be Mrs RIGHT! As much as you want to be eating correctly, doing at least 15 minutes exercise a day, making sure supper is on the table, hanging the washing up, ironing and a quick letter before retiring to bed etc etc etc puts us under so much pressure...and then we tend to eat off the anxiety, depression or that feeling of I just cant do it! I was trying to loose weight and the more I tried the more I put on!! Both my sisters are weight watcher (ww) leaders and I have been influenced by there diet over the last 8 years. I have found my happy medium with the GI diet which is brilliant for blood sugar levels (I just recently went on holiday for a week and when I returned I did not even put on 1 ounce!). Whats important is that you find a diet that suits you, and like KerryB said:"join them in the diet thread" and the support can make all the difference. 

Sending you lots of love, kisses and cuddles!!
Kissy Bear
xxx


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## jocole69 (Dec 19, 2004)

Hi Lisa,

Sorry you are getting into such a state   It really sounds like you need to talk to someone. Maybe you could see your GP and tell them your concerns. Getting into a stressful state will def not help you concieve so you do need to chat to someone. Hopefully they can put your mind at rest about poss birth defects etc.. i dont know anything about it, sorry, but its probably the case that it doesnt always come to that.  Do chat to someone who knows what they are talking about though. I know the internet is great for reading stuff (i do too much as well!) but sometimes its not always right!

Take care,  Jo xxx


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