# When all your friends have babies except you



## Efi78 (Jun 26, 2017)

So…lately there have been a few pregnancy announcements. Even from friends that had serious fertility issues. I am happy for them but at the same time I feel heartbroken. We are the only ones that haven’t made it. After all this effort. Not even with top quality donor eggs. 
i am at a point now that I have withdrawn and don’t want to see anyone. Hubby is also down about it but doesn’t talk much.
How do you deal with it when all your friends have children except you? I am utterly hurt and heartbroken. And actually it’s a period of my life that nothing works. Things at work are **** but continuing bcs I hope I will go on maternity. Hubby also has work issues. We have moved to a new country we don’t really like and we have withdrawn from everyone. Sigh…feels like I put huge effort on everything and nothing really works….sigh…


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## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

Efi78 said:


> So…lately there have been a few pregnancy announcements. Even from friends that had serious fertility issues. I am happy for them but at the same time I feel heartbroken. We are the only ones that haven’t made it. After all this effort. Not even with top quality donor eggs.
> i am at a point now that I have withdrawn and don’t want to see anyone. Hubby is also down about it but doesn’t talk much.
> How do you deal with it when all your friends have children except you? I am utterly hurt and heartbroken. And actually it’s a period of my life that nothing works. Things at work are **** but continuing bcs I hope I will go on maternity. Hubby also has work issues. We have moved to a new country we don’t really like and we have withdrawn from everyone. Sigh…feels like I put huge effort on everything and nothing really works….sigh…


Hey . Just giving you a big hug . I think we can all relate when everything in your life seems upside down and you’re just getting through . I can relate to having no kids and really really wanting them and then seeing babies etc . I had to walk out of ikea cos I was surrounded by babies . Then i thought maybe a good scream would help so i screamed as loud as I could in my car driving out of ikea , which felt weird , and I just ended up with a sore throat !
It’s the hardest thing I’ve been through so I totally understand . The baby thing is Harder to control an outcome than sorting the other things in your life . Maybe journal or as I like to do is write to do lists to sort out my problems ie: move to where you know you will
Be happy , look for a job more suitable . With real effort most things can be resolved , the baby thing though when push comes to shove is out of our control and that’s the hardest I find to deal with . Xxx


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## IzzyQ (Jul 12, 2016)

Hi @Efi78, have you looked into surrogacy? It’s a long process in the UK (where are you based?) but my British friends had a successful surrogacy last year in Turkish Cyprus. People from all over the world travel there. There are still options open to you if you really want a baby, it’s so hard to not be disheartened when all your hard work comes to nothing and I know that feeling when your friends are having babies so easily and for you it’s just not working. It’s gut wrenching, I used to cry every time a friend got pregnant! Could you tell me more about your IVF process?
Have you been checked for fibroids or endometriosis, and have you tried going on steroids for your IVF cycles? Have your embryos been checked genetically (PGS)? Often failure to implant is due to genetics. Have you had a second opinion from another clinic or private fertility specialist? In the meantime I really recommend acupuncture for relaxing you a little, and try and pamper yourself.


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## MissJolly (8 mo ago)

Efi78 said:


> So…lately there have been a few pregnancy announcements. Even from friends that had serious fertility issues. I am happy for them but at the same time I feel heartbroken. We are the only ones that haven’t made it. After all this effort. Not even with top quality donor eggs.
> i am at a point now that I have withdrawn and don’t want to see anyone. Hubby is also down about it but doesn’t talk much.
> How do you deal with it when all your friends have children except you? I am utterly hurt and heartbroken. And actually it’s a period of my life that nothing works. Things at work are **** but continuing bcs I hope I will go on maternity. Hubby also has work issues. We have moved to a new country we don’t really like and we have withdrawn from everyone. Sigh…feels like I put huge effort on everything and nothing really works….sigh…


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## MissJolly (8 mo ago)

Hi Efi78,

Sorry to hear this. It is difficult and all your emotions are normal. I think moving to another country and being away from close family can make those feelings of despair and isolation worse.

It’s important to try and process your feelings like PDream suggested keeping a journal. It’s such a difficult journey, make sure that you make time to do things you enjoy, joining local groups etc…

I hope that you start to feel better soon.


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## VanGn (Jul 24, 2019)

Efi78 said:


> So…lately there have been a few pregnancy announcements. Even from friends that had serious fertility issues. I am happy for them but at the same time I feel heartbroken. We are the only ones that haven’t made it. After all this effort. Not even with top quality donor eggs.
> i am at a point now that I have withdrawn and don’t want to see anyone. Hubby is also down about it but doesn’t talk much.
> How do you deal with it when all your friends have children except you? I am utterly hurt and heartbroken. And actually it’s a period of my life that nothing works. Things at work are **** but continuing bcs I hope I will go on maternity. Hubby also has work issues. We have moved to a new country we don’t really like and we have withdrawn from everyone. Sigh…feels like I put huge effort on everything and nothing really works….sigh…


 hi there sorry about your struggles. We also had rough spots in infertility but I hope you will get through this with good news. Good luck and baby dust your way.


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