# Thining of bypassing IUI, straight to IVF to egg share/donate - questions



## caz nox (Mar 9, 2005)

Hello, 

have just finished a round of IUI and waiting the outcome. 

I have been thinking and thinking and have a plan B of having IVF and donating eggs. 

I am privatly funding my treatment. 

What we have been through I would LOVE to help out a family/couple to get a family. 

Am I mad to jump straight to IVF? 
Would I be able to meet my match? (in a curious way)
How long does it take?

Please tell me what exactly is it like. 

Thanks 

Carrie


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## AmandaB1971 (Feb 19, 2006)

Hi Carrie

I really cant say whether you should head straight to IVF as next stop, that's a decision for you and your docs hun.

I'm just starting Egg Share with Care Manchester.  Meeting your match so to speak is fairly straightforward as I'm lead to believe there's a national database and they match you from there.  The costs of tx are reduced because you are sharing your eggs and this keeps the costs down for you, however you do need to be aware of the fact that you have no rights to anonymity anymore as a donor and when any child born as a result of your donation is 18 they have a right to track you down.  That doesnt bother me, but it might some people.

To be eligible you have to be under 35 (under 36 at Care) have an FSH level of less than 8 and will be screened for Cystic Fibrosis and certain other genetic problems before you will be given the go ahead.  Once this is all done though and you've made the decision to go ahead then you should be matched fairly quickly.  Care are currently operating a 12 week waiting list for an initial appt, not sure about the other clinics.

Hope this has been some help to you 

Amanda xxx


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## shellyc1190 (Oct 3, 2006)

hi carrie ,  
i am doing egg sharing and icsi x  
my sister had the iui, there was nothing wrong with her or her husband they just couldn't get pregnant naturally, that didnt work so the doctors advised her to do ivf they did,
they were so lucky and caught pregnant now they have a beautifull baby girl maisey xx
just thought id tell you her story hope it helps xx 
luv shelly


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## aweeze (Nov 8, 2005)

Hi Carrie

All I can do is give you my experiences. You and your DH are the only people that can decide what is right for you.

I did 2 IUI's which were both BFN and then my 3rd was abandoned because I overrode drugs to hold off ovulation which fell on a weekend. I should say that I was undergoing tx not because of infertility but because I am single. I was therefore using donor sperm. I was therefore paying considerably more for my IUI to include the cost of the sperm. It made sense to me to increase my chances and make better use of the sperm by considering IVF. I, like you was keen to help another woman/couple to become a family and had always thought I would donate eggs. It was when I started looking into it that I realised that my time to donate was running out as the upper age limit is up to and including 35! Although I was aware that iIVF carries risks and is a significantly more onerous and intrusive method than IUI, for me the increase in odds for virtually the same financial outlay was important enough to give it a shot.

There is a thread on here called egg share basics. It includes information which varies significantly from clinic to clinic but it will give you an idea of what is involved. Here is the link - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=63787.0

As for meeting your match, clinics are required by the HFEA to ensure that donor and recipient don't meet. The national database that Amanda referred to is the register of donors where all your details are held. It is from here that any children resulting from your donation will be able to gain details about you when they reach 18 (or 16 if getting married). Clinics are required to ensure that donor and receipient have different appointment times and are allocated different nurses etc to ensure that anonymity is maintained. You do have a right to find out if your donation was successful. Clinics vary as to when they will tell you however. You may fing this HFEA leaflet of use: http://www.hfea.gov.uk/cps/rde/xbcr/SID-3F57D79B-BADF430C/hfea/What_you_need_to_know_about_donating_sperm_eggs_or_embryos.pdf

One of the things that I have battled with is how you will feel if your recipient becomes pregnant and you don't. This will be included as part of your implications counselling that you will need to undertake as part of the process. For me, after 2 miscarriages, this has been a tough inner battle. There is no doubt in me that I am glad if both of my previous receipients are pregnant. After all that is one of the reasons I set out down this route but it doesn't make my pain at not being pregnant myself yet.

Well I hope this has helped in some way. I wish you lots of luck with this cycle so that you don't even need to consider moving on to egg share after all!   

Lou
X

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## caz nox (Mar 9, 2005)

Thank you all for taking time to answer my questions. 

I am not worried at all about the child finding out my details at 18. I do belive that the mother who carried them and gave birth is there mother and I only helped her achieve her dream. 

I actually want to this more to donate eggs as I think that maybe this is what I am supposed to be doing life - if you know what I mean??

I am waiting for my period now and then I cannot have any treatment in Dec as the clinic closes down so maybe in Jan I can re-think and possibly start treatment. 

Thank you all again and I hope all yours dreams come true! 

Carrie


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