# Upset, Desperate, Panicky ladies - TTC #2, Bumps, Babies & Chat



## Tillypops

New home ladies - hope the title is OK!!

   

Tilly
xxxx


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## Dannii_Doots

Tilly your a star  

love love love the new and improved name 

thankyou x


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## Katie4

Great name tilly. Thanks 

Kuki, so sorry think I got side tracked and didn't say hello in my last post. Welcome sweetie. 

Shrimper, ooh tricky but I think you def need to distance yourself from her. Perhaps say you are busy when she needs the antid? After all she can have that at her local surgery so surely doesn't "need" you? And as for her vbac course, well, is her poor little one a handful? If not, you could still do that if you want to after all you won't actually be with her all day? And please don't apologise, she sounds like a quite selfish and rather tactless person and although you are clearly lovely and have taken pity on her but you need to put yourself first. My nct group weren't my kind of girls and I knew the only thing we would have in common from day one would be our babies but our lives, values, personalities, everything just clashed and yet I still persevered meeting up with them when I didn't want to until I realised how rubbish I felt after we had met so I made up
Excuses And haven't seen them for about 18 mOnths and know it was the right decision but still get guilty when a reunion was suggested via email for this month! 

Another huge post- must hold back! 

Night night x x


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## chrisgib

Love the new name Tilly.   

Well it feels like the middle of the night to me now - Holly's been up since 5.20am, and we're currently in bed watching tv, it's going to be a very long day.   

I'm stuck now as I can't read back so easily, but hope you've all got a good weekend planned.  Katie you surprise me with your NCT group, I always get the impression that you're the sort that gets on with everyone. I know it's just down to luck with those groups, and I got really lucky, although interestingly 3 out of the 8 were ivf babies. Don't apologise for the huge posts, I love them. You always manage to say the right things.

Shrimper - we had ICSI plus assisted hatching - think in total it came to just shy of £7k, but I was on a really high dose of Gonal F.  Their brochure price is £4115 for ICSI, £500 for assisted Hatching, plus the HFEA fee which I believe has now dropped a bit.  Like you, I tell everyone about our tx too, or at least those who I would tell if it all goes wrong. It does get a bit much after each scan having to text/email about 30 people, but I do think the support they give me outweighs the disadvantages; although I do feel guilty that i"m burdening them when things don't go so smoothly. I have a big family too, and can't tell one without telling them all - on the whole they're great though, the most insensitive one is the sister who used to be a nurse, her bedside manner is dreadful, everything is so black/white to her!

Pocket - you OK hun? Hope the pains area easing and/or that you've been reassured that all is OK. If in any doubt, go to the EPU for a scan, it's what they're there for.   

Lyns - sorry I still don't know if you've got a new appointment, apologies if I've missed that, hope you don't have to wait too long.

Loulou - are you going to go for a follow up appointment? Hope you're feeling OK. Booked a holiday?

Dannii, SanFran, Kuki, Lyns - sorry if I've missed anyone -   

Have a good weekend all. We're visiting friends today (with their 2 kids) so we should have a nice day. This friend had 3 m/c's before her first so fully understands my current position and is very grateful for her 2, which makes life a bit easier for me.  DH's car still not sorted as can't do anything until the other side have confirmed they accept liability, annoying it takes so long when it's so clear cut. Trying to bite my tongue and let him sort it out!  Not my style really.

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

Christine
xx


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## Monkeymoo

hi all not sure if this is the same place as i was before but only get access on phone so find it hard to read back.
Only just started ttc no 2 and even though i said i wouldn't i keep finding myself analysing every twinge and niggle, not sure of my next af date but i don't think it's for at least another week. Aaaaarggghhh! On top of that just found out a friend has had successful ivf and even though i'm really pleased for her especially as i understand what she'l have gone through. I also feel extremely jealous and it's not a feeling i like. I don't want to get all bitter about this. Me and dh agreed this would be a 'lets just see' thing for now.
Sorry for prattling hope everyones having a good weekend


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## PocketRocket

Girls!!!

I am waaaaaay behind with you all!!!   

Only just found this new thread! Placenta brain has got me good and proper, I think   Will try to catch up but I will probably get muddled so do forgive me. I like to post when DH isn't here and LO is asleep so I can give you my full attention but not always possible!!

All ok with me I think    AF pains seem to have subsided and getting the odd sharp stretching pain which I hope is a good thing    Don't think we are going for a 10wk scan so am going to have to try and hold out for the 12wk one but still not heard from the hospital about my booking appointment yet.. can't really remember when I am supposed to have that?!! Any offers?! 
Spent the day with in-laws yesterday - lovely to see them but a tiring day. We don't often get much time together as a family so feel as though I haven't seen DH much this week   

Shrimper - A wedding in Hertford?! Whereabouts?! You could pop in for a cuppa    Re: your 'friend'.. apologies for my harsh tone but sounds as though you could do without her. Perhaps maybe ease off gently? As for ICSI prices - I won't bother telling you about the H&E ones as you probably have been investiagting those already!

Chris - How are you doing lovely? Sounds like you had a horrifically early morning! Have a nice day with your friends though   

Lyns - Any news on your appt?   

Kuki and Monkeymoo - Welcome to the thread!   

Katie - Any news on DH's referral? Hope you are doing ok   

Dannii - Have you thought any more about your tx?   

SanFran - Your last post brought tears to my eyes    It summed up how we all feel so beautifully. And no one else can understand - they really can't. I hope you are feeling a bit better today   

Bugger - LO is awake... better go before he starts raging! Will try to do a better job of keeping up this week girls!!!

Pocket xxx


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## Twopence

Hi Ladies

Love the new title, sums it all up and lets other know there are a few bumps here as well which is great   Well done Tilly

PR - I sooooooooo wish I had come to yours for a cuppa   The wedding was a bit of a lame duck, we left the evening at 10pm as we really had had enough. It was in Hertingfordbury in the end. Co-incidentally, it occured to me that I actually have meetings at the Council offices there four times a year (not very interesting but still   )

Glad the AF pains have subsided. I had a lot of those at the beginning of my pg with DD and was told it would be 'normal' for me to have a painful pregnancy due to all the previous scarring. I thought I was getting a break from AF pains when pregnant!! Would you recommend the HEFC? 

Hi Monkeymoo - welcome. DH and I also agreed to lets wait and see what happens approach. Still didnt dtop me having timed BMS, checking for EWCM and analysing every flipping thing!! Hope you dont get as   as I do!!

Katie - I think you (and others) are right about the 'friend'. She told me that she had to have someone with her for the anti-D, glad I know she doesn't now!! As for the vbac course, it was all a logistical nightmare as I would have had tp collect DD from the childminder, take her DD back with me, put my DD to bed and then keep her LO amused until she picked her up at 9pm!! Nightmare. Still dont fancy doing it much though   I think you are right and i will have to start being busy.... The difficulty now though is that she has sort of infiltrated my network of friends and will be going to things I will!! What a pain   DH thinks it is all a bit 'single white female'....

Christine - hope you had a good time with your friends. Thanks for your costs. Someone on the ARGC thread which we were looking at said to budget £20!! No way we could afford that   

Best be off, am pooped.

love to all

Shrimper xx


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## Katie4

Maybe I've missed something but when I called our midwife team last week to rearrange my 28wk apt they asked about my blood group to make sure if I needed anti-d they had it with them so it sounded like it could be given at a Routine appt. 

Pr glad you are less worried. 

Sorry no more personals, promised dh I'd have an early night - I've been grumpy today with tiredness x


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## chrisgib

Oh girls - I thought you'd all gone quiet on me, but just realised I didn't have the 'notify' thing on. Damn!

Welcome Monkeymoo - love the name, although we might end up abbreviating it and it might sound a bit offensive!! Tell us more about yourself, how old is your LO? The relaxed approach to ttc can be just as stressful as tx, so do use us as support. 

Hi to everyone else - sorry no more personals at the mo as I'm so stressed. Woke this morning with stomach cramps, like period pains. They've gone now, but I'm obviously panicing that this is the beginning of a m/c. I know that m/c is inevitable, but I'm scared of it happening and having to face reality.   

I'm going to try and get a private scan for tomorrow - I just hate going to the EPC. My worry though is how to get back in to the system if I need a D&C without then having to go via the EPC anyway.  My health insurance doesn't cover anything pregnancy or miscarriage related so my hopes of making it civilised are down the toilet.

Sorry to be all doom and gloom.  I so hope I'm wrong, but logic tells me different.

Hope you all got a good nights sleep last night - sounds like we were all shattered!

Christine
xxx


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## PocketRocket

Oh Chris :0( I think a private scan would be best... all this waiting around is brutal. I would say that the cramps could be stretching pains and Beanie is having the growth spurt that we all wish for, which it could well be... But I  also know how you feel when you say you think otherwise. 

Let us know how you get on. 

Thinking of you,

Pocket xxxx


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## Katie4

Thinking of you sweetie and still very much hoping for a nice scan for you x x


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## Monkeymoo

hi again

Everyones welcome to shorten my name to MM if that won't confuse anything.

My LO is nearly 11 Months and has been through a lot from birth. He has had heart surgery, throat surgery, several stays in hospital and reflux. But all doing well now.

Fingers crossed for you chris


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## chrisgib

Thanks everyone.

I've booked a private scan for 1015 tomorrow morning.     with a consultant who I know is really nice. So good or bad news, the experience should be tolerable.

Bang goes that pair of boots I had my eyes on!

Christine
xx


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## Katie4

I will keep everything crossed for you sweetie and sounds like it will be money well spent x x x


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## Katie4

Sorry MM only just read your post. My goodness, what a time you and your LO have had. Did you know when you were pregnant he would need all those ops or was it all diagnosed after he was born?


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## Twopence

Hi Ladies

Hope you are all a little less tired, I am still pooped after the weekend!!   

MM - poor you and poor DS. Hope everything is OK now and there will be no more surgery.

Katie - are you feeling less tired?

Christine-   to you, you sound like you are having a rough time. I am still thinking positive thoughts for you and the decent scanners will put your mind at rest. 

How is everyone else? I am off to work on Wednesday. Although I have been off sick after the lap I have still had a lovely time with DD and it will be a real wrench to get back to work   

Love to all xx


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## Katie4

Boo about work shrimper! Im working tomorrow...always dread it! Am I less tired?! Thought I was but managed a lovely nap when ng did which was fab! And I'm quite alert now but that's def m and s choc cake fuelled! And watching corrie- the court case! 

Good luck Chris. X x x


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## natalie34

Christine - have just pm you, but wanted to post on here to say I will be thinking of you tomorrow and keeping everything crossed.    


Much love,


Nat


x x x


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## PocketRocket

Good luck for tomorrow Chris xxxx


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## Tillypops

Fingers crossed for tomorrow Chris.

xxxxx


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## Katie4

Chris is dh going with you? And will
Someone have holly for you? X


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## Katie4

Chris x


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## PocketRocket

Me too


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## chrisgib

Thanks everyone.

Afraid it's not good news. Yes I'm still pregnant, and yes there's still a heartbeat, but the fetus is still only 4mm which is about a quarter of the size it should be by this stage. The consultant was definite that this is not a viable pregnancy and predicted that the heartbeat would stop within the next couple of weeks. What he couldn't predict though is how long it would be before I miscarried, although he did reassure me that a natural miscarriage would be nothing much more than a heavy period as the fetus is so small. So, I guess it's as I expected, although obviously not what I hoped for.   

Really don't know where we go from here. Amazingly DH hasn't closed the door on further treatment although in reality I think we both feel we've spent enough time, energy and money on it. You think you pay all the money to get a BFP, but then despite having two, there's still no baby so is there really any point?   

On top of everything, i nearly had to take Holly to A&E this morning as she woke up feeling all wobbly, and then passed out half way through her breakfast. I took her to the GP in the end and she seems much better now, although she is napping now which she doesn't normally, so not sure what's going on there. Need to get a urine sample so they can test her for diabetes, as maybe it's a blood sugar thing, but there's none in our family so unlikely. Not a good start to the day though!

And of course her grandad is currently having his triple heart bypass so I've got mother in law, brother in law + girlfriend all coming for dinner tonight. (Although mother in law has cooked a pie for us all, so I don't have to do much.) Maybe a good distraction - but I'd much rather see my mum, but she's 200 miles away. My MIL doesn't really do emotional support, she's not a hugger etc which is really all I want from her. 

Hark at me - all me me me. Reading what some of the rest of you have been through makes me think I've got off lightly. 

Maybe I'll go and order those boots I can't afford to cheer myself up!   

Christine
xxx


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## Katie4

Oh Chris, I am so very very sorry sweetie. What a terribly tough day for you all. You have your handsful for the next few hours with Holly being poorly and the whole family coming over so just go with what happens, and then, when you get a moment to yourself, let the tears come and call your mum. She might not be able to put her arms round you but she'll say the right things. Is there any way she can come to visit you or you and H go to her (if she's well enough). 

As for the future, give yourselves a little time and then make the decision. 

I so wish you had had a different outcome and am very very sad for you.    Don't make light of how you feel hun, you are entitled to be devastated. 

Lots and lots of love

Katie x x


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## louloumay

Chris   

I'm so sorry hun. What a pile of sh*t, and Holly too. I would have freaked out. Sending you a big virtual hug, not the same as a real one from your mum I know  

Thinking of you,  lots of love xxx


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## sanfrancisco

Chris-There's nothing I can say,just so sorry,I so wish it had been a different outcome for you.You have been through a lot,look after yourself,you and Holly and no 1 at the moment.Hope everything goes ok tonight and Holly is on the mend soon x


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## PocketRocket

Oh Chris   

I really don't know what to say. You must be feeling awful    I am so sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen    And don't you dare apologise for the 'me' post - I think you are rather deserving of it. You haven't got off lightly at all either   
Take time out to grieve sweetie, buy those goddamn boots and many more pairs if it helps you   

I hope tonight went ok and that Holly is feeling better. When it rains it pours, hey?   

You know where we are - don't be a stranger.   

Pocket xxx


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## Monkeymoo

HUGE HUGS chris. You go buy those boots, a spare pair matching jeans etc etc hope holly feels better soon xxx

Katie had normal pgncy with em c-sect but nothing found until 5 days old and then had heart attack while in icu. Looooong story which i've posted before. Have a look in my profile n u shud see some of my old posts.
Hows everyone else? I had day iff work today so it oddly feels like a sunday.


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## Twopence

Christine - what an absoloute   day you had. I am sending you massive   No way near as good as one from your mum but I hope it does in the meantime.

Hope Dinner was all OK.

How is Holly now? Is she OK? DD did similar a while ago and just passed out while eating her lunch. I thought it was cute she was so tired and took a picture!! Naughty mummy. Felt so awful when I found out after she had a raging ear and throat infection. Lots of mummy cuddles, calpol, baby nurofen and anti-biotics later she was back to her mischievous self   Hope Holly is better ASAP.

Hope your FIL is OK.

MM - enjoy your 'sunday'.

Everyone else, hope you are all OK. Wanted to do a longer post but have to tidy up kitchen after we had a new boiler fitted today as ours was condemned unexpectedly on Tuesday!! Bits of wall everywhere 

Love to all xx


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## chrisgib

Hi all,

Well my day from hell yesterday wasn't quite as hellish as it could have been - DH cancelled his family all coming for dinner. Of course I was then annoyed that I hadn't known as I'd let Holly nap in the afternoon thinking that they'd all be here to entertain her in the evening, so I ended up spending hours putting her to bed and she didn't go to sleep until 9.15pm - so not much of an evening left to talk to DH. 

Holly is much better thanks, but having spoken to a friend today I'm convinced it was a hypo glycemic (sp?) episode, thankfully just a low level one, but linked to her fever/virus over the weekend. My friend's daughter gets really serious ones but I'm confident this was just a one off - but I must listen to her next time she says she's hungry in the night!

Amazingly I've had a really brilliant day today. The sun has been shining and my friends have all rallied round - so had a great morning at the zoo this morning, followed by a fantastic afternoon doing lunch/gymboree type stuff this afternoon. Perfect day really. Plus 2 other friends have sent me flowers so I'm feeling very spoiled and very grateful for having lovely friends - the upside of having told everyone we were doing treatment I guess!

FIL is fine - out of intensive care already so must be doing well.

So now just the waiting for the inevitable. I've drunk wine, eaten parma ham and cheese that was previously illegal - I hope the consultant got it right or I'll be feeling majorly guilty!! DH and I have discussed future treatment tonight - finance is the major worry - but I'm happy to think we're going to go in to the follow up appointment (waiting for the date, but booked it with the consultant who did my private scan yesterday) with an open mind - and then we'll decide. DH's biggest concern is that it will disrupt our June holiday!!! He's a tad stressed - more so than me, but he doesn't have all this support from real and virtual friends that I do - plus he has to think straight at work during the day and hold it together, whereas I can just blub when I need to.

Sorry - this has turned in to an essay about me! I'm sure there will be a few of these over the next few weeks, but for today - I'm OK.

How are all of you?  Shrimper hope the boiler is looking lovely and shiny - and hot!

MM - I haven't read back yet but your poor Lo - must have been terrifying for all of you. Hope all is Ok now.

Katie, Pocket, Loulou, SanFran, Tilly, Nat -   

Lots of love to you all - I'd be a gibbering wreck without you.

Christine
xxx


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## chrisgib

Me again,

My MIL kindly suggested that maybe we just try relaxing and doing it the old fashioned way!   

Why didn't I think of that?!   

Well meaning I'm sure but even so....

Sorry - makes me chuckle now when I think of her saying it, my family wouldn't dare.

Christine
xx


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## Katie4

Chris, so glad holly is brighter today and you've had such a good day. Whatever works sweetie - just go with it. V interesting about the hypoG and her being poorly. How was her eating in the 48 hrs before? Just because with my pcos I have to eat low GI most of the time and then if I eat lots of high GI stuff with no low gi stuff e.g.  Haribo! I get all shaky and feel rubbish within 30mins and have to eat or it doesn't stop and I get sweaty. Not sure if the symptoms are caused by hyperG or hypoG following the hyperg

And as for posting, do as much or as little as you feel is right for you. We all want to hear from you. 

Night everyone. Proper posts tomorrow hopefully x x 


Omg Chris- suppose she meant well- but ffs a sympathetic hug would have been better!


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## Dannii_Doots

Hello 

chris- im so sorry that your having to go through this  big hugs from me  glad the little miss is feeling better and that fil is out of i.c.u. you seem to be holding it together really well, what a strong lady you are! 

how is everyone? im quite lost to be honest  

big welcomes to the new ladies 

afm- af arrived today so i'm on the countdown until day 21 then the fun begins. its also my birthday tomorrow, last year of my twenties! gulp


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## Twopence

Hi Peeps

Hope everyone is OK.

Chris -   to you. You are a very amazing lady and little Holly is very lucky to have you. Midnight feasts sound just the ticket!! My mum has Hypo's and the best way to stop her passing out is to have orange juice (advised by the diabetic nurse) as it has natural sugars which give a good and fast boost. THe boiler is lovely thank you!! Would rather have spent the £1200 on some new boots though   

Katie - where are the mammoth posts I love to read them   Hope you are OK

Dannii -   to you   Hope you arent feeling so lost. Enjoy your last year of your 20's. I can honestly say the best years of my life have been since turning 30 but I did meet DH when I was 29, then got married, finally started to sort out the endo and had DD of course!!

HI everyone else, hope you are all happy and healthy and looking forward to the weekend

Love Shrimper xx


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## lyns76

Hi Girls,

I thought it had all gone quiet till i realised the previous thread had all changed.

Chris, i am so so sorry, totaly unfair, made even harder when treatments involved to get there in the first place.  I was so hoping it would all be good news for you.  Even though its hard at the moment please dont give up on your dreams, you just never know what is around the corner, give that little girl of yours a great big kiss and i hope she is now on the mend.
Massive hugs to you xxxx

I will try and have a big catch up very soon, hope everyone is ok.

Lyns

xxxxxxxx


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## Katie4

Happy birthday danni! How have you celebrated?

I'm here shrimper, just having a bonkers work and life week. However my lovelies---dh has got approval from the insurance company!!! Am v relieved. Cant believe how agonising that process has been! Just in time for consultants appt tomorrow. Admittedly, he's very well which doesn't help(!) but I'm still insisting he goes (well, we go) as I am under no illusion that this has not just magically better despite him deciding it was caused by him eating fruit and museli for breakfast 7 days a week?! Erm, he ate that for a year prior to the symptoms starting?!!! 

Lyns, how was your appt?

Must go to bed-


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## chrisgib

Can't type too much as a bit drunk - but just wanted to say Happy Birthday Dannii. The almost 30's are so much more fun than the 20's - hope you enjoy yourself.

Katie - so pleased that the insurance has seen sense - maybe you could sort out my DH's car too?!

Lyns - thanks -   . Holly seems convinced that my baby is in the garden in a bush - she keep saying she'll go and find her. Although today she said that the baby in her tummy has gone to be with my baby too. So cute.   At one point she said she had 17 babies in her tummy - she must have been abroad for treatment! How was your appointment, hope you got the right answers.

Shrimper - love being called a lady - thanks for that. Not sure I'd know where to look to spend £1200 on a pair of boots though!

Hi to all of you.   

Think I'm still in survival mode - less tears today - just back to life as normal, which really isn't that bad. Guessing the grieving might start when the m/c does, or maybe I'll just sweep it under the carpet along with everything else. Think that's why I need more treatment, to make me forget the outcome of this one.  Staying open minded on that one until we've had our follow up appointment.

Better go before the wine takes over even more. I always used to write my best essays at Uni after a few drinks!

Christine
xx


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## Katie4

Oh Chris, what a heartbreaker of a comment. It's like when NG points at a photo I have of my Mum and says, "gone now". I think you are doing amazingly and should keep going just a day at a time with whatever feels right. The wait sounds so impossibly hard.    Shame about Dh's car. Maybe the trauma of the claim will make him fall out of love with it and buy a sensible car leaving a little extra £ for whatever you decide x x 

Loulou, hope you are OK. What are you doing with your last day of half term? 

Lyns, how did your rearranged appointment go? 

Danni, come on, share about your birthday x

Sanfran how are you love? 

PR - how many sleeps till your scan? Can't be too long now?

Shrimper - is this long enough..?  

Best be off, intend to be back later this evening though - am being v lazy at night at the mo watching corrie and emmerdale in bed on ITV+1!


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## louloumay

I'm having a hangover Katie  . Went to see The Specials last night so LO stayed at her Nana's and Granddads. 
Glad to hear the insurance company is playing ball for you. Makes a change!

Thinking of you Chris, the alcohol helps a bit doesn't it  

Hope you had a great birthday Danni.

Hello to newbies to the thread, I haven't been around much to welcome people, hopefully I'll be back properly soon when I've sorted my head out a bit!

Love to all xxx


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## PocketRocket

Hi everyone,

I'm a little behind again with posting but I have been reading   

Chris - Glad to hear you're going for the wine option    Shrimper is right.. you are pretty amazing and have put up with a lot of sh?t lately, so if someone is looking down on you then they should be sorting out something pretty damn good for you now    And as for what Holly said    It really brought a tear to my eye. In fact, it DID make me cry. Kids are just the best   

Loulou - always good to hear from you    

Lyns - Hoping the appt went well   

Katie - I'm having one of those weeks too    Feel shattered! Took LO to one of those soft play places today and what with it being half term it was manic! F came back and slept for 2hrs and so did I!!    As for scan... I still haven't had my booking appt with the midwife yet so have no idea when my scan might be    She called on my landline on Tuesday and left a message to say to call her, but left no number    I couldn't do 1471 as my mum called straight after    I've spent the last three days phoning my surgery( does anyone else hate doctor's receptionists as much as me?!!   ) who have been of no use whatsoever - but finally got thru to the hospital where I am delivering (all being well... still can't take it for granted   ) and they gave me a number to contact the community midwives where I have left a message for her to hopefully contact me    So fingers Xed I should have some idea of my scan soon...

Shrimper, SanFran -   

Dannii - Happy Birthday old girl    I remember hating turning 30 - but it's not all that bad really    I particularly remember it because we'd only found out a week before that there was less than 1% chance of us conceiving naturally (so delicately put by an insensitive NHS consultant   ) and I felt that my world had fallen apart... you guys all know that feeling    My MIL and Mum got absolutely smashed and balled their eyes out together in the loos of the pub we were in because they were so upset for us    Still, some things all work out for the best    Hope you had a great time   

Worried I've missed someone.. sorry if I have - trying to stop LO from deleting this as he is climbing on my lap and now attempting to launch himself at my head... boys   

Lots of love xxxx


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## Twopence

Hi Ladies

Hope you all had lovely weather today as we did here. Went for two lovely walks with DD. The second with  a friend from work whose DD is three weeks younger. They are so funny. My DD was chasing Izzy and catching her shouting 'it'. SHe had no idea what it meant I just told her too. Then they both cracked up and ran off again. Just the cutest. Then they spent half an hour walking up and down the road outside my friends house pushing empty play pushchairs. Hilarious. 

Chris - well typed for someone who had a few drinks!! I have read some of the stuff I have written after being like that and heaven only knows what I had meant to write   Hope you are feeling OK xx   

PR - what a palaver!! I hope the MW gets back to you. I am so sorry but I did have a wee smile at your mum and MIL in the pub toilets. Not the most appropriate response but I hopefully I can get away with it as like you said, we have all been there. 

Loulou - sorry about the hangover but sounds like you had a good night!!

hi Katie - feel much better now I have read one of your mammoth posts   Am loving the lying in bed watching corrie and emmerdale. I had such a lazy day yesterday.I just felt tired beyond belief and so DD and I watched CBeebies all afternoon. Such a naughty mummy but at least I had taken DD for her swimming lesson first   

Dannii - are you also joining the hangover club after your birthday? Am feeling a bit left out   

HI everyone else, hope you are all OK

Anyhow, best be off, got to tidy the kitchen - I rock

Love shrimper


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## Katie4

Morning! Insomnia strikes again. Boo!! I was asleep before 10 though so woke up a bit earlier and am hoping I'll be back asleep in the next hr. 

Despite having read everyone's posts I've got complete amnesia - other than the vision of two toddlers in raptures pushing dolls push chairs! 

Dh and I went to pick up ng together today as the few times we've done it in the past she's been eccstatic - lol, not today, she was pleased but teatime had dragged on a bit and she was still eating her sandwiches when we got there and insisted on having her pears for pudding before we left! Must commit that to memory for the next time I'm feeling guilty for not getting there at 4.30 on the dot! 

Am def rambling so will go....hope to write a more coherent post later!!


----------



## lyns76

Hi Girls,

Not had appointment yet but will keep you updated.

having work done on the house at the mo so been busy busy busy.

Hope everyone is ok, Chris, you are doing so well and much braver than i would ever be   

Loulou - my hubby went to see the specials last night, he is a huge fan, but he is a scooter boy so it comes with the teratory !!

Catch up soon,

Lyns
xxxx


----------



## Monkeymoo

morning everyone, feel like a complete zombie today. Body clock out of whack cos of clocks going back. Lo up early and already napping. Gonna have to make bathtime extra long so bedtime gets back on track. 
When i stopped taking the pill forgot to note dates so i could work out when af due. Thinking it could be this week but silently hoping and praying i'm a week late. Trying not to focus on it as it's early days of ttc and i never managed it naturally before so sensibly why would this be any different. :-(


----------



## Twopence

HI Ladies

Hope you all had a lovely weekend and made the most of the extra hour.

Katie - cant believe you were up at silly o'clock!! What a nightmare, hope you get some better sleep tonight.   We bought DD a little push along mouse yesterday and she loves it!! 

MM - my body clock is out as well, as is poor DD. She couldnt quite work out why she couldnt have lunch at 11am!!

Lyns - what are you having done to the house? A big project? Hope it is all going well.

Hi everyone else, hope you are all well and not feeling too upset, desperate or pannicky!!

Are you suffering after the clock changes. It has got to me, and probably more than ususal this year due to DD being up at her normal time (6.30am 'old time') and me feeling like the day lasted forver. Poor little sausage was so tired come 6pm (old time 7pm which was her bedtime) that we really had to keep her going to stay up until her 7pm today. Her bags had bags bless her on her eyes. We had a lovely day out where she growled at the tigers and lions and ate her body weight in biscuits - a rare treat (Organix though   !! We went to Broxbourne Wildlife Park as we had a 2 for 1 voucher and just had a fab time.

DH and I have had a rough few weeks. We havent been connecting and any sort of   has totally gone out the window. We had a frank talk last night and hopefully things are heading in the right direction. This bl**dy IF just infiltrates into everything and seems to be lurking everywhere. Why cant I just be thankful for what I have and move on? I suppose it is all just 'mother nature'.

I met with a friend yesterday who cant have anymore children after a hysterectomy aged 32 (due to cancer). I asked her how she copes with it and whilst she admitted she doesnt really, she is thankful to be alive and around for her DD.

Anyway, sorry to waffle on

Love to all

PS Does anyone ever have irrational hatred for people they have never met? I had it twice today. Once for Stella McCartney as I found out she has four children and one for a womanon 'come dine with me' who has five!! And a big house to boot   I am sure they are lovely people really but I atill hope a bird poo's on their head tomorrow


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Who would have thought that a one hour change could cause so much hassle! Yesterday was the longest day ever.

Katie - I hope the insomnia passes soon, so frustrating when you can't sleep.

Shrimper - you've got alot on, don't underestimate it. It's hardly surprising that you and DH are having some issues at the mo. They deal with things so differently (well documented on this thread!) You're right though - IF affects everything. I feel like our whole marriage (10years) has been purely IF focused. Not sure who we really are underneath it all.

Pocket - how are you doing hun? Not long now til the scan is it?

Lyns - have you had an appointment date, or are you still waiting for that too? Sorry if I've been pressurising you! House stuff sounds good, think DH and I need a project like that to take our minds off things.

SanFran, MM, Loulou, Dannii -   

AFM, M/c still not happening, and still showing positive on a HPT (almost run out of cheapies now though.)  I had a good weekend. Best thing really is that DH and his boss had a heart to heart about it all, so now DH thinks we should give treatment another go. However, we both want to wait until we hear what the doc says at our follow up, so don't reckon it could be before xmas, it will take that long for my body to get back to normal I think. I have mixed views, but I'm happy for now that the option is open even if we decide against it later.  

Sorry - Holly pestering now - better go.   

Christine
xxx


----------



## Twopence

Hi Chris

Reading your bit about not knowing who you are underneath, I can totally relate to. My life seems forever dominated by the evil endo and our marriage by IF.

We are still unsure about whether to have tx or not but are off to the fertility show on saturday so will see what happens there.Might help us decide one way or another!!

Hope you are feeling OK

Hope everyone else is OK. It has all gone a bit quiet - Katie, where are you?   

Love Shrimper xx


----------



## Katie4

Are you saying Im not quiet shrimper ;-)

Been feeling ropey with a mild tummy bug since yesterday plus had another 3.30-5.30am awake period so been weary today. Good job ng had a lovely 2 hr sleep so I got the chance to too. 

I think IF does change most of us -  I feel like I will always be different to others who have had no problems conceiving. It's been such an enormous part of my life, before we even started ttc it was on my radar (my parents struggled so I expected it) and I know I've had it comparatively easy. 

Chris sweetie, you are so brave with all this waiting, do you have a suggested deadline for intervention if things don't start naturally? It's great that you and dh have options too for the future. 

Lyns, urgh, building work, I'm no good with anything more than a day's painting! So hats off to you sweetie. 

PR - you ok hun? When's your scan? 

Loulou, sending you hugs darling x

Danni, how's the count down going? 

Shrimper, monkey moo and sanfran- hi girls x 

Right, work tomorrow and nursery - boo!


----------



## louloumay

Hi Girls, 

Sorry I haven't been around much lately, it's just that I cry every time I read the thread, either because of something crap happening like Chris's news or because one of you has sent me a  . I laugh too, I have irrational hatred of soooo many people Shrimper!  
Currently it's people that go on Jeremy Kyle to rant about how they've 'disowned' their child because they haven't turned out the way they wanted. 'And WHOSE fault is that?' I shout at the tv. Not that I watch Jeremy Kyle much  

Anyway, just wanted to pop by and send you all some love xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Lovely to hear from you hun. Oh i'd forgotten about the irrational hate thing Shrimper said - yep gets me too, we are only human after all. Hope everyone in your "real" life is being lovely to you and your LO is a total gem or even not, as I imagine the latter would prove a better distraction? Won't hug but you know I want to! x x x


----------



## lyns76

Hi Girls,

thought it was time i told you my news, even though i feel totaly heartbroken today.

I found out 2 weeks ago that i was pregnant, naturaly,  totaly out of the blue and only 2 months since the failed IVF.

I have been elated but obviously very on edge.  Went to see my Doctor last week and explained my conserns so she arranged for me to have an early scan.....which was this morning.
Not slept all night with fretting and felt very sick in the waiting room.

Well i have had my scan and it looks like my news is echeoing Christines.

They could see the gestational sack but only measuring about 5 weeks and they were unable to pick up a heartbeat so i have gotta go back next wednesday but i just feel like its all over already.

I have had no bleeding or pains but i know i am further along than showed on the scan.

just dont know how to cope with all this, i had just started to think my run of bad luck was over   

I am so sorry to be all doom and gloom but just feel devastated.

Lyns
xx


----------



## Katie4

oh LynS, you poor poor thing,    I am so shocked and sad for you and desperately hope you are wrong. It's just so cruel. Other than you and DH, does anyone else know who can support you? Sending you enormous hugs x


----------



## Katie4

Been thinking about you since I wrote my last post and it's still very early on and everything will be so tiny right now that there's certainly a chance that they could be wrong as we all know how varied the equipment is. Also you could have had a late implanter? Know you will want to prepare yourself for a sad outcome but just had to post again


----------



## louloumay

Oh I'm so sorry Lyns hun  . What a head f**k. I so hope they are wrong and it turns out ok for you.


----------



## Monkeymoo

big hugs lyn xx so frustrating. It's hard enough getting a bfp in the first place, you'd think someone up there would let the rest be a little easier


----------



## chrisgib

Oh Lyns,   

I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I so hope you're wrong. Being a natural BFP there is a chance you could have ovulated late etc, so let's hope that it's just a late starter. How many weeks do you think you are? 

Have you got another scan booked?  Any symptoms? If it really is only 5 weeks, it would be too early for a heartbeat, even at 6 weeks it's touch and go on the hb thing.

There are lots of stories on here about slow growers, so I   that this will be your story too.

How have you kept this to yourself for 2 whole weeks.   

Hi to everyone,   

Christine
xx


----------



## lyns76

I have been desperate to tell you all, mainly because i thought it may give some of you hope for a natural but i didnt want to post whilst some of you were receiving bad news and i was also scared to say it out loud incase anything went wrong.

I cant believe i have gone from being on cloud 9 to feeling like utter sh*t.

I am testing positive and have had no bad signs apart from the scan today but by my dates i should be coming up to 7 weeks.
Last week my clear blue said positive 3+ which acccording to the pack ment i was 5 + weeks so this week i should be 6+.

Do you think a blood test could indicate news one way or the other?

Lyns
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Oh Lyns - so happy/sad to hear your news    Why are these things never easy? As the girls say, I totally understand your apprehension and anxiety, but it could have been a late implanter... you just don't know yet. More bloody waiting    Will be keeping my fingers and toes well and truly crossed for you    You know where we all are   

Loulou - Understand why you have been quiet lately    We do miss you though    Hope you're ok lovely lady.

Chris - Good to hear that you are feeling fairly open minded about further tx. Have you bought those boots yet?!   

Shrimper - I too have an irrational hatred of other people! Seems rather harsh and unecessary given our current blessed situation, but I'll always be wary of those fertile people      

Katie - Hope you are feeling better and your tummy bug has gone away. Make the most of those cheeky afternoon naps while you can   

Monkeymoo - Any sign of AF? Hope you're feeling less zombie like today! Although you're not alone in feeling like that   

SanFran -    if you're still reading

AFM, another 'week' at work done - thank goodness    LO has been sleeping terribly lately.. or should I say - not sleeping beautifully    and it's taking its toll on DH and myself! Not firing on all cylinders today - well, not firing on ANY really. Finally managed to get hold of midwife    and booking appointment is this Friday with 12wk scan next Wed.

Take care   

Lots and Lots of Love to all of you xxxx


----------



## sanfrancisco

Lynne-try and keep positive,like the other girls said it is too early,there isn't normally a hearbeat until 6/7 weeks and they all grow differently.It is definitely not over for you and well done on the natural bfp 

Chris-hope your ok Have you heard of array chd,this is what I have been recommended,very ££££ but they only transfer genetically 'normal' therefore reducing risk of failed implantation/miscarriage.They do it in the care fertility centres and some clinics in london xx

Loulou-how are you 

Pocket-good to hear that youve sorted a midwife appt,12 weeks already,gosh it's going fast.Hope your ok and get a bit more sleep tonight 

Katie-hope your bug is better 

Shrimper-I hate fertiles!!They honestly dont have a clue!Hand on heart ,infertility is he most stressful thing I've had to deal with and like everyone else has had a lot of s..t to deal with in life,but nothing like this 

Hi monkeymoo,hope youre ok 

Well decided to take some clomid today,have had it for ages,dont think it'll do anything as I have no problems with  ovulation,it's my blasted age and a suddenly after ivf tube blockage which are stopping me being preggers again.wish me luck  

Hi to everyone I've missed xx


----------



## Monkeymoo

hi all, big hugs all round. I too am having 'hatebook' moments with pg n birth announcements. Was even feelinga little jealousof some celebs in magazines today. No af yet but feeling like it'll be here soon :-(


----------



## chrisgib

Hi,

Lyns hope you slept OK.   

SanFran - huge thanks for that info about array cgh - did some basic research last night but don't think it's for us though. Mainly as I respond so badly to the drugs and get so few eggs - on the last 3 fresh cycles I haven't had any choice about which embies to go back as I've had them all go back each time! It looks really interesting though, and I'm sure saves some people a lot of heartache.  I will still raise it with the clinic at my follow up though - I like to test them - but they're bound to say it's unproven blah blah blah as they don't offer it. I also want to ask about DHEA as maybe that would help - but again, last time I asked I was told there was no 'evidence' of it being helpful.

Loulou -   - not to make you cry - just thinking of you too.

Sorry - hi to all of you - will try and get back on later. I've been charged today with trying to get quotes for sorting out DH's car. Problem is they won't give a quote without doing the work - so a vicious circle. Might have to put my face on today!!!   

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Chris how has that fallen to you? While you are on to them get them to give young quote for buying it! ;-)

Lyns, hope all is quiet and calm with you today

Sorry no more personals, am on phone as always and so struggle to read back and then post accurately! Am sat in bed waiting for ng to sleep because I'm desperate for a nap- it's nearly 3, I'm going to have to admit defeat soon :-( was up 3.30-5.30 again and with such a busy time at work yesterday and the next two days I need to catch up now- even turned down a late lunch invite with all our local mummy and toddler friends so I could sleep. And we've been our for a bracing hours walk and park trip to make sure she was exhausted...best laid plans and all that. 

Back later. Hopefully after a nap!!!


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Car sorted I think - didn't really have to do anything - dealership had it all done by the time they phoned me back at 10am. (I'd left a message before they were open!)  Didn't have to flutter my eyelashes or anything.   
Well, will wait until tomorrow to see if they do what they've said they will - that's the test I guess.

Talking of tests - couldn't help myself but just done a CB digital one - back to 2-3 weeks. Maybe I was secretly kidding myself it would all be OK - but looks like things are dropping as predicted. Not sure how low they have to get for the m/c to actually happen though. 

Katie - I hope you got your sleep. Sounds like NG is dropping her afternoon nap to me - the end of life as you know it!  I still struggle to get through that early afternoon bit, but it does mean that H goes to bed much earlier as a result. 

How's everyone else doing?

Lyns - thinking of you still - a long few days to wait. Wouldn't blame you for steering clear of here and try to think of other things, but equally, come and share your fears, we do understand.   

Christine
xx


----------



## Twopence

Hi Ladies

Katie - great to see you back on form and typing away   Hope you are better after your lurgy and you got that nap in the end. I also have a sneaky nap when L does it, cant function otherwise!!

Chris - Glad the car is sorted! What a relief.

MM - know where you are coming from. I have four friends all due in the six days around DD's birthday (one on the actual day). I al also sure a woman at work is pg, this will be her fourth!! I HATE HER!!

PR - scans!! woo hoo, how exciting.

Lyns -   I REALLY hope it allworks out for you and you do give some of us hope, that is a good thing   

Loulou - I watch Jezza as well and get so p'd off. I am sure one day I will see someone I know via my work!!

Sorry not to write much ladies, just wanted to say hi. Am sooo tired, off to bed.

Love to all xx


----------



## Katie4

Hush your mouth Chris!! I'm not giving this sleep up without a fight. Dont blame you at all for testing, having to wait must be so v v hard. 

Shrimper, lovely to hear someone else out there needs sleep as much as I do! I didn't get my sleep after all this afternoon. And you might notice I'm up now...poor ng has fallen out of bed for the first time- not sure how as we have a bed guard but I just heard the cry and found her sat on the floor. She went straight back to sleep- unfortunately I haven't!  

Off to watch rubbish telly x


----------



## chrisgib

So then Katie - did she/you nap today, or have I jinxed it?!   If it's any comfort I like to have a few zzz's in the afternoon too, but have to just have feet up in front of tv now that H has to be nap free.

Replacement car arrived - it's huge/expensive and lovely in a hearse (sp?) type way!

My m/c has arrived - started bleeding last night. No pain though, and really not that heavy. Mainly brown blood which I guess makes sense. Relieved it's here but there again.... gutted.   

I'm babysitting tonight - but brought my laptop with me, how sad. So hope you're all around to do chatting. The little boy (Holly's intended) is lovely, but has always been a sleep freak, i.e. you just say goodnight and leave the room and he goes to sleep - so it's blissful coming here really. I left DH putting Holly to bed, who's a bit more demanding to say the least.

hope you're all ok. Lyns - how are you doing?   

Chirstine
xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh Chris - I'm so sorry    I would have done the test the other night too... and there was certainly nothing wrong with hoping. After all, that's what this bloody journey is made of, isn't it? Hope?    I suppose at least now the m/c is happening then it's a form of closure in a way. I din't mean that to sound harsh -  just re-read it and realised it could sound that way.. you know I didn't mean it like that. 
I'm around all evening to chat BTW - DH is engrossed in 'The Rugby Club' on Sky Sports, so I have therefore opened my laptop for an evening of surfing   
Made me laugh about the little boy you are looking after being a 'sleep freak'    We've always been very lucky with LO who 9 times out of 10 goes down to sleep without a fight - must be a boy thing    although that doesn't count his rude awakenings at stupid o'clock this past week    I think he's actually fighting an infection or something as he's slept loads during his morning nap and been quite tired by the afternoons after not having done much. This weather and time of year doesn't help either!

Katie - Don't blame you for not wanting NG to give up on her nap.. I'm dreading F not needing his anymore! I had a sneaky hour whilst he was down this morning... I could have gone on for longer but the phone rang   

Shrimper - Hope you're doing ok   

Lyns - How are you feeling today?   

Monkeymoo -   

SanFran -   

Loulou -   

Pocket xxx


----------



## Monkeymoo

hugs chris i suppose now you can sort of move on a little now that the waitings over.
Forget names and on phone but i hope whoever it was got some sleep back. I still nap at weekends if ds does or will chill infront of tv and watch something other than cbeebies.
Have a strange suspicion (or paranoia) that a young girl at work may be pg. Been off for sickness and have overheard titbits of conversations about not bein able to do it at home cos no privacy and i've jumped to the conclusion she was discussing taking a test. I so hope i'm wrong she's 21 and single and doesn't want kids. I don't think i'd be able to talk to her again but yet i know i would be equally upset if she had an abortion. Also today my boss fetched some scan pictures in very happy sad moment so excited for her but also wishing it was me. Still no af but i'm guessing it'll probably be here by tomoro.


----------



## PocketRocket

MonkeyMoo - Understand every single one of those mixed feelings you have there hun    
I recently heard of an old colleague who has fallen pregnant (planned apparently - although she is the most 'unmaternal' woman you could ever dream of meeting) and she refers to her baby as a 'parasite' or 'thing' and 'joked' when she was 16 weeks that she still had time to get rid of it        I cannot write down what I would like to do to people like that as I am a strong believer in karma and it would seriously come back and bite me on the   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Twopence

hi Ladies

L still has her nap and had two hours today only I didnt get chance. We are getting a cleaner and so I cleaned the house first!! What a div   Then she still came round for a pre-inspection and said it would take a few weeks to get  it up to standard!! ha ha.

PR - DD is a good sleeper as well. In fact she asks to go to sleep, she is like her mummy in that way. DH on the other hand would never sleep if he got his way, it does my head in!! HOw are you feeling? There is a Herts meeting on the 3rd December in WGC if you fancy it??

Katie - Poor LO sitting on the floor!! I have such cute visions of that   

Chris   I was soooo hoping this wouldnt happen. Hope you are bearing up ok. Wish I could say something wonderful but I cant so   to you again.

Having alate dinner tonight after the 'cleaning lady' excitement!!

Love to all xx


----------



## chrisgib

Pocket/MM - Karma will get them in the end, don't you worry.  These people don't know how lucky they are. 

Losing the daytime nap is a major milestone for them and you. I'd say out of Holly's friends (all will be 3 in January) about 40% still have them, although most have been cut short now. But then there's kids like my other friends' who's not even 2 yet and doesn't sleep in the day at all, or at night very well.    The sleep freak tonight started to fall asleep on the sofa watching toy story, and then asked to get under his duvet in bed. Holly would stay up all night watching movies given half a chance - she has no idea how to zone out. I still have to lie with her every night to go to sleep, and 50% of the time she wakes in the night and wants me in her bed. So then - tell me how you get good sleepers - any tips, I know it's a bit late but....  I am quite a soft touch, which is probably my downfall - can't bear her to cry!!

I genuinely feel quite relieved about the whole 'loss' thing - sorry can't bring myself to say the m word. I can't believe what bad luck we've had, and I'll be asking about that at our appointment, i.e. is it really just bad luck or is there something I should be aware of/do? On the plus side, i did get another BFP, but that's my third since Holly, and still no baby. I really was so naive when I got Holly's BFP, I had no idea that so much could go wrong. I didn't look back with her pregnancy, it was so smooth, text book, and of course she's now the perfect girl, give or take a few sleep/eating issues!!  Beware tmi - not actually bleeding that much - feels like it's almost over - am I kidding myself?

Sorry - this is all me me me. Pouring all my thoughts out on to you all - luckily I can't drink (driving home) or you'd all be in real trouble.   

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Chris - What have we said about me posts?! Go ahead, girl!!    I think you're right to ask those questions at your next appointment. I hope they will be able to give you a decent answer and one that will help you and DH make a decision about future tx.

Shrimper - Yeah.. the meeting sounds good!! I just had a search and found the thread - I didn't even know it was there!!    Will you be taking LO along? 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Twopence

Hi Peeps

Chris - Not sure about how to do it now but L had a routine for bedtime from six weeks. The times may have varied but the routine was always the same. We never let her in our bed and when she was put down we went out and left her. DH has always done bedtime and if I am honest, she takes a little longer to go off when I do it.

She is also great when she wakes. She just lies there chatting to herself or singing until we go in, sometimes up to an hour if she wakes stupid early (like before 6am).

I take it youwouldnt want to try controlled crying? A friend of mine did it and had two nights of hell but the third night was like a dream she said (excuse the pun).

PR - hadnt thought of taking LO. Will you?

xx


----------



## PocketRocket

I'm not sure that's why I was asking. I'd usually have to as DH works most weekends but he's off that day so could look after him so I can go solo!! For a change!! So, after sharing my thinking process with you - I'll probably come on my own!

Chris - My tips for sleeping echo Shrimper's. Once he has his bath he knows he doesn't go downstairs again that evening and we sit on our bed and read books for a while. We used controlled crying once we realised his 'I'm having you on' cry!! I think the longest he cried for one evening was 40mins, then 20mins the next night, then he gave up on the third. It is horrid listening to them cry, which is why DH and I always did it whilst we were both there - so we wouldn't allow each other to give in! But it does work. If nothing else, they wear themselves out having a paddy ;0) That said, I do go and check on him every 5-10 mins if he's been raging that much ;0)

xxxxx


----------



## chrisgib

I'm sure the CC thing does work for some, it's just not for us. It was only from 18 mths that she insisted I stayed in the room while she fell asleep, I blamed leaving her in the gym creche at the time, not sure if that was a trigger or not. 

These days I think she'd be too old for CC anyway - so I need to try other things. Her wakings now tend to be nightmare related, so I'm quite sympathetic as she's quite distressed. I did try the gro clock thing for the mornings about 6 months ago, but might bring that back out of the cupboard as I think she'd 'get' it better now.  Half the time she's fine - so not really complaining. Just glad I don't have to do anything too taxing during the day!

Right - now that I know what's happening with me, i can start planning my life again. Like visiting my parents who I haven't seen since July. Hate these short days though - might have to go and live somewhere sunny!   

Christine
x


----------



## Twopence

PR - will fly solo as well then. Might even sneak in some shopping, what a luxury!!

Chris - hope you have a spare room for me and DH in your new sunny place   

Really am going now, am pooped and still got to wash/ dry my hair after swimming today.

love to all


----------



## Katie4

Evening. 

Oh Chris, as PR said, all very normal confusing contradictory feelings but suppose it's still so hard going through them and of course go armed with masses of questions. Glad you've an easy child to look after. I cannot imagine having a LO who asks for bed! 

Monkeymoo- I cannot believe anyone would make such a vile comment about aborting their baby. I'm horrified. As for the young girl at work, try to step away from it all as its bound to upset you. And i suppose if you can think of it this way (and i know id struggle much of the time, it's so emotive) but any unplanned and probably unwanted pregnancy is such a life changing event for most women - its so different to the situation we've all been in so just try not to compare as whatever she decides it will affect her life forever. 

Sleep update- ng still has 40-60 mins a day at nursery 3 days a week at 1pm and 1 and a half to two hours a day when we are at home at 2pm ish so I think she's technically a sleeper - id be quite happy for her to give it up at nursery - lol!! And if we are out she'll nap in the car but usually wakes up when we get home regardless of how long she's slept and then be grumpy!  I love that lots of you all sleep too- suspect the local mummies tell fibs as surely they can't all survive without naps?!  Chris, I have no words of wisdom, I struggled massively with ng for the first 9 months in the same boat (couldnt cope with her crying) but the exhaustion finally got to me and at 4am one morning we had a parental summit and decided to sit with her and let her cry it out. We both cried a lot. But it was never as bad as the first night and within weeks she was ok to go down with minimal tears. Now she only sleeps in our bed if she's ill. She does play for an hour till she's ready to sleep but doesn't get out of bed - she just has a few soft toys and books. If I were you I'd leave it for a while longer, you've a lot on your plate right now- although it is draining having disturbed sleep and super nanny reckons it only takes 5 nights to crack it. 

Sorry no more personals girls - wonder how many posts will have been written while I've been writing this?! It's a long one even for me!

Night night x x


----------



## Monkeymoo

hi all hope you're enjoyin your weekends. I'm off shopping in town with lo and my sister. Af came this morning but feeling pretty ok about it now. The girl at work thing was just huge paranoia on my part. I do have a tendency to overeact sometimes ( am getting councelling for pnd)
Oh well just watching cbeebies with lo while painkillers kick in then i'll get ready.


----------



## Katie4

Oh mm well at least you don't have to face that at work sweetie. Sorry af is here but sounds like a nice day ahead. My sister had counselling for pnd as well as treatment and it was brilliant for her. I've had counselling too, most recently to get my head round my awful labour and recovery. Am actually seeing mw for extra appt in 10 days as have been feeling overwhelmed by it all and hope if they can help me write a birth plan I'll feel better- although I suspect they may refer me for more counselling. 

Hope everyone is ok and their LO are being good x


----------



## Dannii_Doots

sorry i've been away girls, dont even know where everyone is at  just a quick post, my friends mum died, funeral today. she was in her early fifties. so sad 
my tx has been cancelled, feel let down by my clinic 
all in all a pretty frubbish few days.


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh Dannii - how crap :0( So sorry to hear about your friend's mum. Cannot believe your clinic have cancelled your tx!! After all the thought and stress you'd put into deciding on the timing of it too. What reason did they give?

Monkey moo (I love your name... I call LO that sometimes as his pet name!!!) - Hope your shopping trip perked you up a bit? And FY, I don't think you're overreacting at all regarding your colleague/work/pg situations... It all sounds perfectly normal to us on this thread!! ;0)

Katie - Hope you're doing ok. The mw asked me to think about my birth plan the other day - all seems way too early for me to be thinking about that yet. I just replied 'Just lots of drugs!' why was your labour with NG so awful? Obviously don't answer if it's something you'd prefer not to relive on here! Hopefully chatting with your mw and getting as prepared as you can be for all eventualities will make you feel slightly more at ease this time round.

Chris - How are you? Has the bleed stopped yet? Hope you're ok.

Shrimper - Hope you're having a good weekend.

Loulou, Lyns, SanFran - Hugs to you (sorry I can't send virtual hugs at the mo... Am on DH's iPad and can't get it to do them?!)


Anyone going to any fireworks tonight? We're taking LO to a display but it's rather late and reckon it's going to throw him going out in the dark! He's a little apprehensive about the dark now anyway.. Also not sure how he'll react to the noise?! Really, DH and I desperately want to go and the fact we now have a child just gives us an excuse...!

Love to you all.

Pocket xxx


----------



## Twopence

Hi LAdies

Hope you are all having a lovely evening. We took DD to a firework display which she wasnt so keen on as it was quite noisy. When we watched from inside she was fine. It was also my nephews birthday today so we went to see him then my sis babysat DD while we went to the fertility show which was very enlightening!!

However, evening slightly ruined by some pillock who kept asking DD for a cuddle, she kept saying no and so he picked her up and she just screamed. We had to leave the party in the end as she was so upset. She VERY rarely gets upset but the noise, the late night and then that was just too much. Poor little sausage. And she wont even lie in for us eitherin the morning as she wakes att he same time no matter what!! Our neighbours decided to have a HUGE row at 12.30 am whch woke me and DH up, so much in fact that he came downstairs for half an hour!!

Am also in the PND counselling club, or rather CBT. Had counselling for fertility issues after my surgery and have ti say, preferred counselling to CBT. Horses for courses though.

Katie - hope the MW app goes well.

PR - birth plans already!! Must make it seem very real.

Chris - how was babysitting? Hope you didnt get disturbed by the LO and relaxed 

Dannii - what a crappy week   Why was tx cancelled? How are you doing? 

MM - hope you had a lovely shopping trip. I cant remember what it was like to do that!!

Best be off, thanks to neighbours I am dog tired but not sure how much sleep I'll get with all these fireworks. Still, DD is so pooped she isnt even stirring!!

Love to all xx


----------



## Katie4

Evening, how are you all?


PR - It must be your scan very soon? Please let us know how it goes. 


Danni - do you want to share about your treatment being cancelled? I have never heard of that, not before a cycle has even begun.    for you. 


Chris - how are you feeling sweetie? Have you an appointment date for your review yet?   


Loulou - still thinking of you pet.   


Lyns - I think your scan is tomorrow - hoping you have some lovely news   


Shrimper - OMG I hate people who do that. The child is being clear, that is their right, they do not want you to touch them. Get the message!   In time your LO will be more vocal about it all like NG - in which case anyone who is stupid enough to try to touch her or even look at her when she doesn't want them to gets a clear instruction. Glad the fireworks were good. We made it to one and managed to find a bench so snuggled up with hot choc and watched. I'm not sure which NG loved most, the choc or the display!  


Sanfran, and Monkeymoo  


AFM:
I'm in the midst of a short spell of annual leave - technically only one day off but because of my working pattern I finished on Friday and won't be back till Thursday and with no over time (for a change) I've literally not had to even think (much) about work which has been heaven. Plus, for the first time ever I had a day to myself today! Ng went to nursery and I was off. It felt strange and I feel guilty but the decorator and I finished her bedroom by putting her sticker/mural up (was def a 2 person job!!) and then I met Dh for lunch (not as romantic as it sounds, the food was OK but took 30 mins) braved Primark (OMG I am so not in the zone to shop there), came home and had a quick nap before picking her up. 


As for my labour PR- I'm actually OK sharing, it was all very straightforward until I dared to have some diamorphine at about 8cm dilated - it stopped my labour completely, I had to have oxytocin and no one said how much that would hurt (according to the guidelines I should have been offered an epidural. Oh and I started puking because they hadn't followed the guidelines and given me anti sickness meds when I got the diamorphine) then I had 4 different doctors come in and one would have had his lights knocked out had DH felt it was appropriate to leave me for 30 secs as he was such a @$*& and the last dr tried to insist on a forceps delivery in the room with only local anaesthesia as after 2+ hours pushing NG hadn't moved an inch. Fortunately I went bonkers and they took my to surgery- I got a spinal and they delivered her easily with forceps and an episotomy. I was then whisked into a lift (literally that was where I BF for the first time) and left on a ward at midnight. No flannel to wash my face, no drink, no food, nothing. I even got mildly told off for having poor urine output by a MW.    Of course I was too elated to have my new baby to really think about how crap the care had been and then the next morning there was no hot water in the hospital due to scheduled maintenance so DH had to bring in hot water in a flask to wash NG as she'd started to pooh meconium and was still dirty from labour- one MW did mutter something about boiling a kettle so I would be able to wash her but never came back. None of the staff could believe I had a freezing shower that morning but I'd had a 21 hour labour and not showered for 48 hours. Needless to say we were off as fast as we could be. Then, really sadly, I developed an infection and severe pain in the episotomy site 4/5 days later and was on antibiotics for a month and pain killers for 6-8 weeks and it took 11+ weeks before I stopped hurting. So at 11 weeks I saw my consultant and told her she either wrote in my notes I was having an elective section next time or I would NOT even try for another. 


I think the actual labour being a trauma I can accept, it was less than a day, I got NG, she was fortunately very healthy at birth, but it's the crap care I feel I received, the lack of anti-emetic, the lack of pain relief when I was put on oxytocin, the lack of care on the ward. It's left me feeling really sad and very vulnerable. So it's just such a dilemma - do I opt for a section, knowing I'll at least be able to sit and feed the baby but will be at the mercy of the ward staff for 4+ days and be away from NG and not be able to drive for at least 4 weeks (and we live quite remotely) or, do I gamble, hope I have a better labour all round and a better recovery? So that's why I'm seeing the MW next week, a chance to talk through it all again and create a birth plan which relieves some of my anxieties and possibly be referred for more counselling. In truth, if I didn't have NG I'd be having a section, no doubt, but with her to care for and no local support I need to hope for a straightforward recovery. We'll manage whatever and even with lala trauma (sorry don't know how else to put it  ) at least this time I know everything will heal. I was so very scared I'd never be able to sit comfortably again after NG, let alone have sex! It wasn't helped by my community midwives being unrealistic about how quickly I'd heal, they kept saying another couple of weeks but my GP was (for once) really very good and at 7 weeks told me I'd be looking at 3months before I'd feel better and 6 months before it was all normal. It helped as as I reached each of the midwive's deadlines I freaked out as things hadn't improved. 


Sorry, you can tell it's on my mind and don't get me wrong girls, I'll be grateful for a healthy baby, regardless of what happens to me, I know I am so lucky to have the chance but it's all just become rather real and I'm going over and over it. 


Right must be off. Just shouted at NG because she keeps saying she needs the loo just to get out of bed even when she doesn't need to but you can't risk not letting her go - I've only got one set of bedsheets for her bed right now!


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Katie - no wonder you're concerned about the delivery next time - that all sounds horrific. You're right though, your labour sounded good, it was the care/hospital conditions that sounded really awful. Just wondered though, why at 8cm did you have the diamorphine - for the pain I assume?  Were you stuck at 8cm for some time? In hindsight, what would/should you have done?

I'm only wondering whether you might be better avoiding the hospital altogether and going for a home/water birth type arrangement?  How far are you from a hospital if you had to be transferred? Would it reduce your anxiety to be at home, or add to it?  Is the water thing an option at your hospital? You are much wiser going in to this birth, so it will all be very different, hopefully. 

Friend of mine had no2 in the car on the way to the hospital - don't be doing that, makes a right mess!

Pocket - scan tomorrow?  Good luck -   it all will go smoothly for you. Another hurdle in this marathon event we're in.   

Lyns -   to you too. Hope next scan will bring happy news. 

Loulou - how are you doing? Have you drafted a new life plan - that's what I'm starting to think of - not sure if it includes further treatment or not yet though. I was convinced that this was our last go, but now I'm not so sure.

Shrimper, Dannii, SanFran, MM -    Apologies if I've missed anyone.

I have my follow up appointment on the 24th - with the consultant that I had my last scan with - so hoping for some straight talking - apologies if I've said all this already. Whilst I thought DH was up for more treatment, he's now back to stressing about how to pay for it, so daren't get my hopes up yet. I did read that M/c is up to 50% for those 42+years - so statistically it's a silly game to play with our hard earned cash.

I'm going up to Harrogate to visit my parents for a few days tomorrow - so won't be able to reply until I'm home again, but I can read all your news on my phone. My Dad's PC is so so annoying - but will try if I get a minute.  

Love to you all,

Christine
xxx


----------



## Twopence

HI ladies

chris - hope you have a fab break. How are you doing? Do you think you will be going for more tx now? It is all so hard isnt it?

Katie - what an awful experience. I hope the MW helps you find some answers this time round. I had an elective c section and i can understand your concerns after re care for NG. I would have to have another C section if we were ever lucky enough to have number 2.

AFM, well not been up too much. Been doing weight watchers for two weeks and weighing in tomorrow for the first time. However, tonight doesnt look like i have lost and weight and i am gutted. Been doing it all properly and am bloody hungry   

DD continues to be hilarious. I am so glad you wrote that it was her right not to want to be picked up like that Katie, I hadnt thought of that before but it is absoloutely right.

She is mimicking everything I say which is so funny. Life with her just gets better and better. Just need towin the lottery to give up work!!

love to all xx


----------



## Katie4

Hi Chris, 

Really hope u have a good break with your parents. And yep, had diamorphine for pain, I felt not too bad and was progressing at a good rate but had three bonkers contractions and thought I'd be in a mess if I didn't add something in to help (I was using gas and air and a tens machine like good mummies to be who have been told to be NCT!) but didn't feel I needed an epidural and they said it prob wouldn't work in time so
Everyone thought she'd be with us in a matter of a couple of hours! (rather than the 9 later) I'd put on my plan that I'd try a birth pool and was offered one but was actually happy with my tens and gas n air at that point so said no thank you. Think I would def try it next time though. A home birth sounds wonderful but we are a good 40 mins from the hosp and based on the intervention I needed last time I wouldn't risk it. My sister had to be transferred with no.1 to a hosp from a birthing centre which sounded scary) - she had a lovely water birth 2nd time though. Argh head battering! 
(but thank you for asking!)

Shrimper- ng apparently said "x will you come in this bloody house" at nursery today! I am mortified and hoping its a phase.  Must be even more careful what I say! What was your section like? As in pain afterwards, hosp stay, wound healing... Sorry just so curious as it is an option and might be the best one for me after all. (and ng was transverse lie till 37 weeks so I was headed for a section but then she moved! 

K x


----------



## Monkeymoo

hi everyone hope you're all ok. Just a quickie as tired today. Been feelin pants since got af had forgotton what 'real' ones were like.
I had em c section and took ages to heal. Got a very nasty infection and still get pain in the scar from time to time. But my long recovery was down to rushing round hospitals and sleepless nights while lo was poorly. I do know a few who've been up and about with no problems at all after a c section.


----------



## Katie4

Sorry you feel rubbish mm. And thanks for sharing your experience but sorry it wasnt easy for you. it's never straightforward is it?! And yet it's all worthwhile as we'd do anything to get our babies. And here we all are x


----------



## Katie4

Just coming on to see how PR got on - fingers crossed sweetie. 

Everyone else had an ok day? We did loads of jobs (bank trips, posted letters, quick park trip- all meant she had a terrific 2 hr nap and I managed an hour but was great! Back to work tomorrow - rubbish!) nice to tick some things off my list. 

Ooh can anyone recommend good but cheap-ish (£10) presents for 4/5 year old boys please. 
haven't got a clue!


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## Monkeymoo

do you have a wilkinsons store near you? They have a great selection of cheaper toys for most ages. 
Feeling a bit better today apart from the baby convo at work with the boss. Everyones getting really excited for her and i am too. Been looking through lo's old stuff for things he never wore so i can pass them on. But again also feeling a little jealous and possibly paranoia again but i can't remember them being this excited last year when it was me.


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Thanks for remembering today    All is well and good with Beanie    The scan was really detailed and lengthy (moreso than I remember the one with F being) which was nice as we got to see lots of wriggling which was reassuring    So now I am planning on trying to relax and actually enjoy this pregnancy    Have told a few people today but telling everyone at work on Monday.

Katie - Sounds like your aftercare at the hospital after having NG was hideous. I must admit, although I had a fantastic experience whilst giving birth to F, I do worry that second time round I might not be as lucky    but I think the whole 'second time round' thing is a common issue with me! When is your EDD? Sounds as though you had a very productive day today! I had a sneaky nap when F went down too.. He slept for 3hrs this morning!! That's what two days at the childminder does for him - bless   Re: the gift suggestion for a 4/5 year old boy.. I would suggest anything to do with cars,, gadgets or balls if my LO is anything to go by!!

Chris - Hope you enjoy your time with your parents and a big hug from your Mummy cheers you up   

Lyns - Hope you're ok... have you had your scan yet?   

Monkeymoo - Hope AF has eased up and you're feeling chirpier   

Shrimper - I'm with you on the winning the lottery thing! I think your DD is a couple of months older than my DS.. they are funny little things aren't they?! F makes me laugh everyday - my life must have been so boring without him   

SanFran, Dannii -   

Loulou - If you are still reading   

Sorry if I have missed anyone.. feeling a little drained and overwhelmed from today   

Pocket xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Ooh brilliant news PR well done you. Enjoy sharing your news x

Mm, I struggled to pass things on as felt bitter about not being able to
Use them myself and people assuming I wouldn't use them (although i repeatedly told them
We were only having 1 to avoid the topic so perhaps thats where they got the idea from?!) so you are clearly more generous than I! 

Lyns - think you said scan was today? Hope you had more reassuring news x x 

Off to bed girlies night night x


----------



## Katie4

Been thinking of you Lyns x


----------



## Katie4

Afternoon, just coming on to see how everyone is.   

Ng went into nursery today and didn't look back, not a sad face, a tear, or even a kiss. I am so proud  . First time ever...in 22 months!

Chris hope you are getting on OK and having a nice trip with your parents. 

Lyns - we are all thinking of you and hoping you got better news yesterday. how's all the house stuff coming along?

PR - hope you are enjoying telling people

Loulou - not forgotten you hun. X

Danni, are you and Roxie fully recovered now? What is the plan on your treatment now? Still can't believe they cancelled. 

Mm, Shrimper, Sanfran and anyone else I've missed - hope you are having a nice Friday. 

Suppose I'd best get back to work x x x


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## lyns76

hi,

I sent a PM to Chris today as she had sent me one asking how i got on.

At the scan we had good news, feotol pole was found and heart was beeting away and spotting was down to a heamatoma.
the following day i took bad in the afternoon with pains and bleeding so had to go to a and E.  My cervix was still closed so they were hopefull that it was just the heamatoma coming away so they sent me home and told me to rest.
yesterday i woke up feeling worse with pains and bleeding was heavier so we went back to A and E at 11.30am.

Devastatingly i lost the baby there and i had to stay on a ward until 7pm while they checked all my bloods etc due to all the pain and all the bleeding i lost.
having never gone through a miscarriage before i just presumed that it would only be clots and blood that i would loose but the sack and tiny embreo came out whole as i wiped.  Because of this they will now send he/she away to be examined, this is to identify if there were any ginetic causes for our loss, i presume they only do this if things detach as a whole as such.
They gave me a form to sign to agree to it and a leaflet explaining that afterwoods the tiny little angel will be cremated.
I think this is what has upset me more than anything, knowing that yes, it is our baby not just a bunch of cells that decided to stop growing.

I was only 8 1/2 weeks and have no idea if it would have grown to be a boy or girl obviously but i have decided that i will call my lost angel poppy as she grew wings and flew to heaven on 11/11/11.
I had a feeling from the begining that things werent right as i knew exactly when i conceived so i just knew that first scan didnt make sense.
I feel lost and empty.  You hear and read about miscarriages but until its experienced first hand its hard to comprehend how it feels.
I had been reading up on it before this latest scan as i was convinced that there would be no heartbeat again and i just thought that it would be a heavy period.  I was so wrong, its been the most traumatic experience of my life.

I know too well that i am not the only one to go through it so i am not gonna moan on about it, woman that choose to try again after a loss are so so brave.

Pocket its fantastic news for you, really glad the scan went well, enjoy the rest of the pregnancy and all you lovely ladies with growing bumps please dont feel bad for posting and talking about your happy news, you ALL deserve it.

I am gonna have a bit of time off from it all and have some space to grieve our loss.  My hubby is so upset too.
We made Harry sleep in our bed last night just so we could cuddle him all night.

thank you for all your support and well wishes.

Chris you have been such a shaulder to cry on and great support especially as you are going through the same hurt, thank you so much.

I will be around soon,

Lyns


----------



## Monkeymoo

*hugs* lyn cannot begin to imagine what your going through. I can't even find the right words to express my thoughts. Take care of yourself, dh and ds. The strength you have as a family will help you xx


----------



## Katie4

Lyns I am so very, very sorry for your loss. What a heartbreaking time for you all. It is just so very sad and truly traumatic. I hope all the staff were lovely to you both and think Poppy is a beautiful name. 


Sending you strength and courage to face the days ahead. 


All my love


Katie x


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh Lyns. I don't know what to say. Your heart must be breaking. Sending you so much love and many hugs.

You know where we are when you are ready.

Pocket xxx


----------



## louloumay

Lyns, I'm so sorry hun   , thinkung of you xxxxxxxxxxx

Love you you

Love to all xxxxxxxx

edit. sorry for my appalling typing, meant to say 'love to you' lyns.


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all, just got back.

Lyns - I'm so so sorry. Sounds like you've had an awful time.   Thanks for your PM. I was praying the news would be different for you.

This thread has really been through the mill in the last few months - such highs and such lows. 

No time to chat at the mo, still need to unpack, but just wanted to say Hi.

Christine
xxx


----------



## Twopence

Hi Ladies

Hope you are all OK. Sorry I havent been around much (if you even noticed   ) Not been having a fab time personally so trying to sort my head out. MIl related as ever   

DD continues to ne the best thing ever and she always cheers me up. Katie- love the nursery story about the ''bloody house'' how funny!!

As you asked about the C section. The recovery wasnt to bad and due to my previous surgery they thought it might be. I think I would have healed better had I been able to rest and sleep   DH was pretty good though.

Lyns   So sorry. I cant even begin to imagine

Chris - hope you had a lovely time away 

PR - good news re the scan. Are you still thinking of joining us for the HErts meet?

Oh poop, got to rush off!!

Post later or tomorrow

love to all xx


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## Katie4

We did notice shrimper. Sorry things aren't good for you hun and thanks for the info on your section experience. A friend has suggested I read a hypnotherapy birthing book to help me to develop strategies to keep calm in labour (although I was v calm till it all went totally pear shaped and I think a degree in hypnotherapy wouldn't have made a jot of difference at that point- but I don't suppose it will hurt, especially if it helps me over th next few months)

Lyns - thinking of you and your dh and how cruel life is. Hope your LO has been giving you both cuddles all day. 

How's the weekend been ladies?


----------



## Twopence

Thanks for noticing Katie   

Do you think you will go for the section? I hope the hypnotherapy works for you. I saw my cons for my follow up today after surgery and he said that if i were to get pg again then i would need a c section for this pg as well but i already knew that. I think it would just need a bit of planning and making sure L was amused bless her heart   

HI everyone else, hope you all had a good weekend xx


----------



## Twopence

Right, am back again a few minutes later.

Given the title of this post I am going to off load on you ladies. Even if you cant be arsed to reply I dont care, maybe writing this will give me clarity.

DH and I are hoping to start tx really soon. And for some reason this makes me feel really guilty. I feel like it is almost saying that DD isn't enough for us some how when she is my whole world and more. I feel like it is almost some sort of betrayal. I love her sooooo much (I dont need to tell you ladies that feeling) and would love her to have a sibling.

Then at the same time I would love to have her all to myself for ever and not share her with another. Does this sound bonkers? Do these thoughts mean tx would then be jinxed? Do I sound silly?? Probably. But I dont want her to grow up on her own and having two littlies to chase after ould be so fantastic.

And apart from the emotional side, there is the financial side as well. As awful as it sounds, what if we are throwing away money that otherwise could have been spent on DD if tx fails? I know material things arent important but I cant help the way my head feels.   

Anyhow, sorry for the wobble. Just needed to get it down. For some reason if we could get pg naturally these things wouldnt seem such an issue (esp the financial one of course) but the actual tx and all that involves seems to me to send out the wrong message.

What a wally.

Thanks ladies for reading, esp as so many of you have your problems.


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi everyone   

Just a quickie as absolutely cream crackered   

Shrimper - Yes. still thinking of going to the Herts meet. You?

Katie - Really hope the hypno works and helps put your mind at ease. After such a bad experience first time, try to think it can only get better!

Lyns -   

Loulou, Dannii, San Fran -   

Chris - Hope you had a fab time away and managed to get the unpacking done   

Told everyone at work today.. my head said she had been waiting for me to come to her with the news for some time    and lots of others said they'd guessed (no prizes for guessing though.. I'm the size of a house already) but people were quite sweet about it which was nice. Feeling very overwhelmed by it all now - telling everyone makes it seem more real somehow?!!

Right I'm off to bed before DH gets back from work.. going to make the most of the bed to myself before he comes in and steals all my space   

Love to my favourite ladies   

Pocket xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Think we posted at the same time Shrimper!

Honey, your thoughts are so natural for people in our position    Despite me being so very lucky and blessed, I am already worrying about how DS will be with a new baby and so anxious about him being pushed out!!   
You want another baby... you're normal!!!! It is because of your love for DD that you feel this way. As I keep trying to tell myself, kids are so resilient and she would adjust eventually.
Understand totally about the money too - but hey, it's money at the end of the day. You'll make sure that DD won't go without. You and DH might, but as parents you know our little miracles always come first - that's what we do now   

Don't feel guilty   

PR xxx


----------



## chrisgib

Oh Shrimper -   

What you have written there really is the root of all our problems. (hope others don't mind me generalising.) The finance side of things is a killer, but I keep telling myself that fundamental things won't be affected in the long term, i.e. where we live/where she will go to school etc. Going on a few cheaper holidays I can live with! Saying that, I know I'm in a relatively fortunate situation, and being older has helped with that, as my salary was pretty good before I got made redundant, and even that has helped as I got a lump sum to help out. These things have a habit of sorting themselves out, but what we don't have the luxury of is to wait a few years to save up - if I want treatment, it has to be now(ish).

I know exactly what you mean by this overwhelming all consuming love for you LO. It scares me to death if I'm honest - which is one of the other reasons I'd really like a sibling for her. It would kill me if anything happened to her, sorry that's getting a bit morbid, but it is part of the reason why people traditionally have had big families. 

As for the not wanting to share her - with you on that one too. Can only advise valuing every day as you are, and when No2 comes along, the days will be even better. Nothing will take away the special time you have with No1.

Sorry - probably not helping - but I'm feeling just the same as you as the daunting thought of more treatment fills me with dread. 

Good luck shrimper - I really hope it works for you.    You're not bonkers at all - unless the rest of us are too, which is always a possibility!   

love to you all.

Christine
xxx

ps - Pocket - just seen your post - really pleased you're 'official' now - it really is real!


----------



## Katie4

Shrimper sweetie that is all perfectly normal - or as Chris said, normal for us lot. I was totally adamant I wanted a sibling for ng and dh kept saying he adored her so much why have another- the instant I fond out I was preg I felt instantly guilty and worried myself sick for weeks until late one night I did an Internet search and discovered its ok to worry and that your hearts capacity increases with each child, you don't have to halve the love you give.

And the financial side - well that's an issue for most of us but think about people with no Fert probs- are they as careful or virtuous as we think - spending all their equivalent "treatment" money on their kids? Prob not- they might have a nicer car, buy themselves something nice, eat out more, have better carpets or bed linen or smoke or drink....most children want quality family time rather than gifts. Treatment is never entered into lightly and regardless of the outcome guilt shouldn't come into it - the decision to ttc is made with only good intentions. 

Hope that's all come across as intended and not upset anyone. I just want to give you all a big hug - bet the majority of those without Fert issues don't think as deeply about it -it's the nature of the process I suppose.

Pr so happy for you (ignore the know it alls!) 

Thanks girls for your support over my angst about labour. Have been through my notes again and made a list of questions to ask tomorrow. Will see how I feel after that. Ultimately a heathly baby is the most I can ask for but if I can get that with a little TLC en route I'll feel a very lucky lady. 

K x


----------



## Twopence

Hi Ladies

Thank you so much for your replies. Everything you all said hits the spot, from worrying about money to worrying about DD's resilience (and i am not even pg!!)

I also worry about DD caring for us as we are older. Whilst it isnt something i would expect many of us do it!! DH is registered disabled and DD is a carrier of his condition and she has a 50% chance of having children with his condition and her being a carrier will bring her own problems. I also have issues which will get worse as we age and I feel like of there were more of her she wouldnt have to shoulder all the burden. Of course, we could end up with childrenthathate us by the time we are old so it is no foregone conclusion about the caring aspect!!    

Sorry to waffle on ladies but you are all so lovely and just 'get' where I am coming from.

PR - yes, am going to the meet up, would love to see you there!! And your Bump!!   I bet it is noe to have come out of the closet so to speak at work!!

Chris - you are such a strong lady, I totally admire you. Even after all you have been through you still took the time to send an amazing response to me. Truly amazing. I hope you are feeling better and gaining some semlence of normality again (if that is possible)

Katie - I hadnt thought of non fertility issue people and their spending, you hit the nail on the head and whilst it isnt our biggest concern, I had felt awful but like you and Chris pointed out, DH and I are more than willing to go without   

Love to all. Hope everyone is well. Am babysitting DD's best friend tonight so just off to read her a night night story. Left my own DD making her daddy cups of tea with bath water. Whoever thought that could be so cute??

 to you all xx


----------



## Katie4

Morning, how are you all?

MW appointment ended up being just lots of sobbing  . Although it was reassuring that she seemed shocked I'd not been given an antiemetic when I was given diamophine and she was very sympathetic and basically said I was really unlucky for all those things to have happened. And that I was unlikely to have as bad a time again but if I wanted a section then there would be no reason not to have one and with it being elective there's a good chance all would be fine....I need a roundabout emoticon!

Hope you are all OK...best go and do some work


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## Tillypops




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## Katie4

Thank you Tilly!!! thrown myself into work today and it's distracting me at least!  

Think the horses represent:
White - a section
Blue - a water birth
Pink - an on the bed give it a go with all the drugs available 
Black - one like last time


----------



## chrisgib

So then Katie - which do you really really want? Obviously not the black horse - but do you want a section, or are you beating yourself up about not doing it 'naturally'? 

My niece has decided to have her second by C Section due to lots of problems last time, but the swaying factor in the decision was the anxiety she was suffering during the pregnancy - that's not good for anyone. 

A section would give you the most control and certainty, but is that what's important to you? 

Sorry - not helping much, can't make the decision for you but really want you to enjoy your pregnancy without worrying about the birth. 

Shrimper - how are you doing today?  Thanks for calling me strong - I'm not at all, just think I'm used to focusing on the next chapter when it comes to all things fertility. Probably not very healthy really, but works for me. 

Pocket - how are you?  Hope you've had lots of happy responses at work, rather than the know it alls.

Loulou - thinking of you.   

Lyns - thinking of you too.   

MM - are you Ok? 

Not much going on with me to tell you. Holly started a new gym class today, she was the youngest, and all the mums sat up on a viewing balcony (overlooking the tennis court that they were using). I was so proud of her - she was giving the teacher a load of chat, wasn't phased by the older kids, and was really good at following quite complex instructions.  Next week, i get to leave her there and go to the pilates class held in the other room - bliss!  My only current drama (other than the obvious no 2 thing) is choosing a pre-school. Thought it was all sorted but they told me yesterday there isn't a place for her, so having to start again and feel like I've left it too late to have any choice. They're all pretty good, so can't really go wrong, just feels like such a big decision. 

Hope you're all good, it's been a bit quiet on here.

Christine
xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

just a quick one on my phone so forgive any mistakes! Am always reading, just haven't seemed to have time to sit down and post properly lately - I like to give you all my full attention ;0) I'm still feeling pretty tired (not that I'm complaining of course!) so taking the opportunity to nap whenever F does - hence the lack of posting!!

Chris - Really glad you're sounding upbeat. Understand the pre-school stuff.. I'm on the lookout for DS already :0( Don't like my baby growing up!! Looking for ones that'll take him before he's three though.. Think he'll need something before then. Something will come up that suits Holly better - things happen for a reason, after all! Except maybe the sh*t fertility stuff ;0)

Katie - Sorry you're still feeling so confused about the birth. As Chris said, don't feel bad about going for a c-section over a natural birth.. I've always thought they're more practical with the second anyway - you can arrange a babysitter for No.1 and get organised properly - moreso than with a natural!!! (I didn't mean that to sound as though I was making fun of it then - you know what I mean, I hope :0) )

Shrimper - Do you have any more details of the meet up? Hope you're ok and feeling a bit perkier.

Monkeymoo, Lyns, Dannii, Loulou - sending you all lots of love :0)

Right, best be off as typing in my phone is giving me cramp in my wrist!! Plus HEAT magazine is calling me.. ;0) 

Lots of love xxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh Chris, how annoying about the preschool. Could they not offer you different slots? Or put you on a waiting list? Theres definitely a bit of flux at our nursery.

Thank you (and PR) for reading between the lines about having a section, i think what is hard for me is that theres no " medical" reason- and for that I feel guilty. But dh and I had a real heart to heart last night and I feel so much better. He's v pro section now and reassured me he and ng would be fine which helped.  I think I just need to accept what happened happened, i am v lucky to have had a healthy bouncing baby and I just have to do what I can to make sure its better this time whichever exit route we use! 

I bought a hypnobirthing book and while I can't imagine cracking the silent resting look its already reminded me I ought to be getting excited about the birth, not dreading it! 

I am so sorry for being so ridiculous about this, it just took over. I'll keep it in check from now. (or try to!) 

Thank you for being so amazing.

Lyns and loulou, thinking of you girls 

Sanfran how are you sweetie?

Danni, how are you feeling hun? Any news on your treatment? 

Shrimper, have you and dh stopped being so harsh on yourselves about the cost of more treatment? 

Monkey what are your weekend plans? 

Chris, is your appointment this week? 

Right off to bed!! X x 

Btw thank you for the Little boy present recommendations.


----------



## Monkeymoo

hi everyone, hope u're all ok. Big hugs to anyone who needs one x
Nothing exciting to report here. Just plodding along trying not to think about ttc. Currently laid n sofa in my pj's as full of cold. Lo watching cbeebies dh in bed. No major plans this weekend, still haven't finished lo's bedroom so hoping to get that done at some point. Think my sister might visit today, just waiting for a text.


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi everyone,

How are you all? It's been very quiet on here lately!

Not much to report from this end really... although I had a hideous day at work yesterday    Nothing to do with the kids - just the headteacher    I won't bore you with the details, but she just has this knack of making you feel worthless and cr*p at your job (doesn't help that I am obviously hormonal - as well as being oversensitive at the best of times   ) and she is basically doing a very good job of making all staff feel that way, so I know it's not just me. She's a bit 'old school' and has a theory that her way is the best way, and isn't open to any new ideas as they don't fit her perception of what is 'good and proper'. Anyway, I had a bad night with F and ended up laying awake from 3.30am stressing and worrying about everything (then F decided to get up at 5.15am.. we seem to be entering that phase again   ) and felt hideous - so decided that I was going to pull a sickie    I think I have only done that three or four times in my 10 years of teaching (and then I was much younger and just suffering from a hangover) which is an indication of how unhappy I feel there at the moment - I didn't even feel a smidge guilty.
The ironic thing is, is that despite me texting her at 6.30am to tell her I was ill, my TA approaching her at the start of the day to ask if she wanted her to take my class - it wasn't until lunchtime, when a county adviser had come in to meet with me, that she realised I WASN'T EVEN THERE!!! What a goon    Nice to know she values my presence!! So I then had to endure two panicky phonecalls from her asking where my paperwork was for the meeting - rumour has it she was getting into a right old flap   I would imagine she looked very unprofessional in front of the adviser    I would be lying if I didn't smile just a little bit when I heard all of this...   

Anyway - apologies for that rant.. just needed to let off a bit of steam!

Any news with you guys? How are you all doing? Sending you lots of   

Pocket xxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh pocket, you needed the day off - you can't function with so little sleep and especially if you are responsible for children. Glad she flapped at least a little! 

Here, well it's dh's endoscopy this Friday. He contacted his consultant via his secretary to ask whether it was still appropriate to have it (because he's still entirely well- will be 9 weeks by Friday and usually he gets symptoms every 3-4 weeks so it's a huge change) but the dr said yes. Of course I now feel I'm pressuring him into it and keep reminding him its his decision and I'll support him 100% to postpone it with a view to opting out if he's still well in a month but he's saying he's having it?! Gulp) that aside, I'm sat beside a v smelly dog who needs bathing and am waiting for ng to fall asleep so I can put her nappy on and get into bed! 

Have booked a private scan for 30 weeks partly because I found ngs 4d photos and I thought it would help her to bond with the baby and also because I'd like them to measure him/her and estimate the weight as there's a 5 day discrepancy between my dates and theirs I am presuming the baby is on the big side and would like to know as it will contribute to my over all decision. 

Shrimper- love your slow(ish!) start to Saturday sounded like heaven! 

Chris- your follow up appt is this week isn't it? 

Loulou and lyns thinking of you girl's - hope you are both ok

Danni, still thinking of you sweetie. Any news on treatment? 

Sanfran - hows things with you? 

Hugs to anyone I've missed. 

What's everyone buying for Christmas? And asking for? Ng is getting a dolls car seat and till with chip and pin and tannoy thing(!) plus odds and ends.


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Hi all 

i know i've been missing again, sorry. i seem to run away when things get bumpy.

so tx has been cancelled until jan's af. clinic have been awful to be honest. everytime i rang i was told something different! very annoying! but i'm happy enough to wait my turn, they just should have been honest.

more importantly little miss is having a hard time at school i.e shes getting bullied and its turned physical  my hearts totally broke and i'm constantly crying. why would another child hurt mine? we have spoke to the school, so hopefully its coming to an end now. the other parents have been informed also.

i have skimmed back and i just want to send big big hugs to lyns and chris  

pocket, hope bump and little man are well and you get some sleep tonight x

katie you have to go with your gut hun, whatever decision you make regarding your babas delivery will be the right one for you. dont look back with regret, its to special. hope thats reads how i meant it 

big  to sanfran, shrimper and m+m. hope i havnt forgot anyone, heads like cotton candy tonight girls

will catch up properly soon i promise x


----------



## Katie4

Omg danni- that is terrifying about school. The thought of it is making me well up. PR is prob best placed to advise on school policies on this sort of thing but omg my heart goes out to you. And you are being v good (tolerqnt!) about the treatment side of things but at least you can focus on your gorgeous girl. 

Massive hugs and let us support you hun x


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## Dannii_Doots

katie its truly heartbreaking 
as a nursery assistant i'm used to squabbling 3 and 4 year olds but nothing like this, and i'm an emotional wreck. the school have been quite good saying all the right things so far but it has went right over my head. dp is furious but has managed to hold his tongue (so far)

we do so much to protect our babies and i just want to hold her tight and never let her go, she's my baby and it just hurts. j is very sensitive and takes so much on board especially with our ttc journey 'are you sad mummy? is it because your sick? dont worry mummy you'll be ok, you always are' when i was in hospital or going throuh tx we asked her had she told any of her friends 'no mummy its no-ones business but ours'

what do i do? i keep thinking that perhaps the other child(ren) maybe have something going on in their own wee lives and are maybe frustrated or hurting and j is bearing the brunt of it, i'm probably talking in riddles now, sorry


----------



## Katie4

Not at all danni, all makes perfect sense and I know how I felt when I watched ng retreat from going to fetch something for the nursery assistant when a particular "big boy" went to get it instead- am convinced she's scared of him and know he's one of the rougher boys so I do check regularly with her and that was one observation. 

Whatever the reason the boys or girls in question need telling off and must apologise to your LO. Do you know who they are?


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Really sorry that you're having to deal with bullies Dannii - so stressful - I'm dreading all that, I get upset now if someone pushes past her, or takes a toy off her!  They will always be our babies and we have to protect them from the world, but somehow let them grow and develop too - it's impossible.

I had my follow up appointment this morning so thought I'd let you know what he said - feel free to disagree, or comment on it!

I was really glad we saw Valentine. I really like his manner, even if he doesn't find my jokes funny!  I don't see how you can talk about baby making without a few jokes.

He was good, we were a bit late going in, but mainly because he was going through my file, so I could forgive him for that. He seemed genuinely shocked and empathetic for our experiences. He confirmed that the ectopic was purely bad luck, all my questions about why it might have happened he answered logically, so no real reason (other than stats) that it should happen again.

The miscarriage this time, he also said was probably (haven't done any tests as didn't have anything to test) bad luck. He showed a graph of stats showing that is as about 50/50 at my age - depressing reading, but I knew this so no awful surprises.  He did a fair bit of explaining about egg quality and embryo quality which was interesting, and showed why the m/c stats get so bad as one gets older. (In basic terms I hasten to add.)

He said that normally he would advise anyone 42+ to be looking at donor eggs/other options, but given my track record he thought we stood a good (30%) chance of getting a positive result from another cycle. (Anyone 42+ reading this don't get put off - having a child already puts us ahead of the game.) He kept saying he 'wouldn't discourage' - a negative and cautious way of saying do another cycle! But a 30% chance of pregnancy - then of that a 50/50 chance of it progressing - not great odds if you think about it too much - but we learn not to don't we?!  

Of course with all this, he said right at the start he sees it in 3 different aspects - medical, emotional and financial. He can only help with the first one, the others are ones we have to resolve on our own. But medically, it's worth a go.

Sorry - this is all a bit waffly. Bottom line is he said do exactly the same treatment as last time - same protocol, same drugs etc etc and to get on with it.  Still terrifies me that all this might still end up with a BFN, or worse still, another m/c.

Hey ho - we're still in the game anyway - and that's the main thing. Now it's down to me to convince DH that we want to give it another go.   I'm happy enough with that. But after that, it really is no more (  ).

Hope you've all had a good day. I'm now vegging out watching trash on tv as DH is out at a black tie do (I did ask if he needed a date - but apparently not.) Just me and bottle of wine - bliss. Oh the thought of giving up wine and caffeine again - so tedious, but so worth it if it works.   

Christine
xxx


----------



## Twopence

HI Ladies

Sorry I have been AWOL for a bit. Have been away with work (never again - I missed L far too much) and have come home to findo ut DH is prob going to lose his job tomorrow!! He was on probation and the company was bought out and now his role is no longer there. And he only found out yesterday   Fingers crossed pls ladies xx

We also have our initial consultation next week for tx and DH needs a job so we can pay!!!

DD - I HATE bullies with all my heart and it makes me feel sick, Your DD obviously knows she can rely on her mummy and as awful as it is, you know it is happening and you can deal with it.   to you and DD

Chris - Sounds like you had a lot to take in. Did it help in anyway? Good luck with the next step and hope you enjoyed the wine. I may have partaken in a little too much of the red stuff last night.....   

Katie - hope Dh's op goes OK tomorrow. Enjoy those pics as well. I had one of DD and she looked like Mr Burns from the Simpsons, was very funny   

Well best be off, am knackered and still need to help Dh for tomorrow.

Love to all xx


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## Katie4

Hi girls, 

Had hoped to catch up while dh was in theatre but was too worried. He was only gone from the room for an hour and fortunately the drugs were terrific and he barely remembered a thing and did make me chuckle more than once when he came back as he was lets say just a little disinhibited - fortunately didn't say anything rude, was just a little more graphic than he might usually have been when asked how it went by the nurses! 

All clear as far as they can see but biopsies taken and a ct scan scheduled for next week (I've never been so grateful for every penny I've spent on private medical insurance- dh did say we were the youngest by 30+ years!) and follow up week after. Hope it all comes back negative- we strongly suspect it's just been "one of those things"- Blumin worrying but at least it's not serious which is what I thought it was over the summer-  and at least he's well now. Been 9 weeks on a diff diet and no symptoms.

Shrimper, poor you going away, cannOt imagine. I've been away overnight once and missed her so much! 

Chris, sounds like a really thorough consult and although the statistics help in some ways I always find it difficult when outcomes are lumped together as everyone is so different. You sound v upbeat though and I hope you and dh agree soon on a decision you are both happy with. 

What's everyone's plans for tomorrow/the weekend.a quiet one here, dh and I are both shattered! So is ng having spent the day with grandma....although she's still giving her toys what for right now! Should all go quiet in the next 15 minutes! Would it be too soon to put the Xmas tree up? I love our tree and it will take twice as long this year as ng want to help!


----------



## Monkeymoo

glad everything went well katie. I've been brought up to not put up tree till 12 days before xmas and take down 12 days after. But once my lo is older i'm sure i'll be bending the rules.
I'm meeting my sister and shopping in town tomorrow. Desperately need to find birthday presents for lo he's 1 in a couple of weeks.
Hows everyone else doing??
Been a rough week, dh has had some of his benefits stopped because of the hours i work and the others lowered. So getting pg may not be the best idea at the minute. But i don't want to stop as it may take years for us to get lucky or get nhs funding. There's no chance of us gettings funds to go private unless we win big on something.


----------



## Katie4

Ooh monkeyr, must admit I'm all for up early down early, usually by new years! I know it's naughty and blame my inlaws! 

So sorry to hear about the benefits changing, it's so complicated and ridiculous that because you work more you get less when in real terms I bet you are worse off now. Our private med insurance is the most basic level and because it's taken monthly you don't notice it as much but to find a lump sum for treatment (which is more than weve paud over 5 years for the insurance) is a totally different situation - lets just keep everything crossed for a lovely surprise for you both x


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Dannii - Has anything been sorted about your daughter being bullied? So sorry to hear that. It must be awful for you to see her so upset    The thought of someone hurting my baby fills me with rage - it must be awful to cope with   . The school sounds as though they are on the case though? I can't really advise as every school is different but do make sure you are happy with how the school deals with it. Keep a record of anything else that happens too so you've got that evidence to back it up should you need it. So many parents call into schools saying their child is being 'bullied', and it turns out they've been called a name once or something silly that just doesn't constitute bullying (not that I'm suggesting this is the case with your DD) that sometimes schools don't always take accusations seriously, so do make sure you are happy with the outcome of their dealings with it.

MonkeyMoo - Sorry to hear you've had a tough week    Just before Xmas these things always seem to happen     Enjoy your shopping trip!

Katie - So glad DH's op went well. It's sod's law that he should be feeling fine when it's finally being dealt with but hopefully you'll find out what caused it all in the first place. I'll be putting decs and tree up on 1st December - or at leas when DH gets them down from the loft!!   

Chris - Sounds as though you had a productive meeting with the consultant    A lot of info to take in but he sounds like a guy who is 'straight down the line' (or as straight down the line as you can be with IF!) Have you and DH had any further conversations about future tx?

Shrimper - How did DH get on today? Really hope it's not as bad as you thought    As I said with MM.. it's typical these things always happen before Xmas. Not that any time of the year is good of course but there's extra pressure around now.

Loulou, Lyns, SanFran -   

Hope I've not missed anyone.   

Not much to report here... just dreading work already on Monday    And had my first bout of morning sickness today - ever?!!!! Never ever had it with DS (had a textbook pregnancy = aside from the TTC of course   ) and although I have felt incredibly nauseous during this pg, I haven't actually been sick... until this morning    AT 14+3!!!! Is that normal?!!! I thought MS was supposed to improve around now? 
I saw my acupuncturist on Wed and she did something magical that actually stopped me from feeling nauseous over the past few days but I woke up feeling rough, thought it was because I was hungry, ate some light breakfast, then about 30mins later made friends with the inside of the toilet bowl   Yuk.

As for my plans this weekend, DH working tomorrow so a friend is popping over for a catch up (she's also the deputy head at my school so I can sound off at ther about the head - and I also think she suspects that I was pulling a sicky on Tues as I am never ill... I shall confess my sin to her seeing as she is one of my BFs   ) and not much else... DH has a rare Sunday at home so I shall be cooking a roast (MS permitting) and organising a few Xmas bits I should think!

Lots of Love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## chrisgib

Morning all,

Katie - how's DH feeling today, and you?  Really glad the op went well, I'm guessing you now have to wait for any results do you? 

Dannii - feeling for you - I hope the school deals with it all properly.   

MM - hope you get some good advice on the benefit thing, it really is a minefield. 

Pocket - I'm so sorry that you're finding work so awful still. Obviously you'll stay until after your maternity leave, but do you plan to go back? or find something else?  Whilst I said a few months back how hard it is to find something part time and decent, equally i don't want you being so unhappy at work. Is it likely to improve?  Also sorry you're being sick - about time!!   

Shrimper - OMG - how did yesterday go?  I really hope you didn't get the bad job news that you were expecting. It's so awful that these things can happen so suddenly - think there's going to be alot of it about over the next few months though - not that that in anyway makes it any easier.   As for treatment - guess you just do the consultation and then wait until the time is right, financially and emotionally.  Tough times hun, do use us to vent your anger/frustrations if it helps you.

Lyns, Loulou - you still lurking?   Hope you're both OK. 

Well it looks like DH and I will be doing more treatment after all. One last time! Saying that, we haven't actually had a discussion about it. He went out the other night and got sat next to someone at dinner (it was a corporate hospitality thing) who we'd seen at the clinic - so think they spent all night talking treatment. Maybe it's just me he can't talk to about it - which is fine if he comes to the right decision. The whole thing still terrifies me, but I can't end it all on an 'almost' - I think I'd find it easier ending on a 'BFN' or ideally with a BFP!  Timing wise I've no idea when we'll start as I don't know when AF will arrive, then of course my clinic will have all their usual post-xmas delays due to their close down - so no doubt I'll be down regging for about 3 months!

Sorry - waffling on about me again. It's all so consuming isn't it. There's only so many times my 'real life' friends can listen to my deliberations!!

We've no grand plans this weekend - just house/garden chores which I tend to put off for ever. Might go out for supper this evening as MIL has offered to babysit. We might even have that conversation that we haven't had yet!

Have a good weekend. Shrimper - thinking of you.   

Christine
xxx


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## Katie4

Shrimper, so sorry to not have asked about the job news... X 

Chris that all sounds promising - maybe af will surprise you and come soon? 
We had a verbal "all ok" from the consultant but will get the results of next weeks scan and the biopsies (why take them if it all looked perfect? Hmm may put a little strength in reserve just in case they aren't as promising) in 2 weeks. Dh is a bit tender today but ok- hes more put out at having to have more time off work- he's a contractor so if he's not there he's not paid - priorities !! 

Still in dressing-gown! Ng still in pjs....how fab! I'm like a sloth !


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## Katie4

Or a slob! Lol


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## PocketRocket

Oh good Katie - I'm still in dressing gown too!! Had every intention of getting dressed for when my friend arrives but she's let me down    so have no excuse to get dressed all day now!!!   

PR xxxx


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## Katie4

I would just like to report that I am now washed and dressed but like the rest of my family it's a case of not pyjamas but not clothes we'd go out in either! Think the heating was too high last night (can't imagine who turned it up lol!) so today dh and ng have both worn shorts and t shirts without socks and I've had a baggy dress and no tights (as in my head that of course looks better than leggings....goosey white chubby legs - they will be all the rage soon!)

We have spent the last 2 hrs putting the Xmas tree up- know its premature but it was a great distraction for ng as dh is feeling the effects of yesterday's medication and it's off my list and you all know how much I like crossing things off my list! 

Off for a late nap. Think we need to start waking ng up earlier, she's going down 2-4pm at home but is usually still bossing her toys round in bed from 7.30-8.30- all ok by me but last night I went in at 9.30 to do her nappy and she was awake! Unusual day though, v full on with grandma here. She exhausts her!


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## PocketRocket

Sounds like a lovely day Katie!

Unfortunately I never got the opportunity for a nap as DH at work since LO woke up! Could do with one now though    F has been quite grotty all day with a cold so after popping out to get some Xmas cards I rushed him back home to get him in the warm - large doses of Peppa Pig, dummy and blanket were in order    Until he had a hyper half hour and I decided we needed to go and get some air!!! Back home in the warm now... although having to deal with a tantrum as someone has just decided to spit their drink all over me   

PR xxxx


----------



## Twopence

Wow ladies!! You have all been chatting lots. Hope the weekends are going well. Trees up already? Ours will be next weekend as we have a thing about having them up for my sisters birthday which is saturday   

Chris - hope you made the most of your night out and had the chat? You are sounding very positive, well done you   

PR - Hope F is feeling better. L has been snotty the past week or so and also quite chesty. She was very grumpy yesterday and we went for a walk to her favourite place and had to turn round after about 100 metres as she hated it so much bless her. 

She is currently playing with her cousin who she adores (he is 13) and it is lovely. He built her a house out of cardboard boxes yesterday and she loves it   

Katie - hope Dh is feeling better and talking more sense now   How was the weekend? Lots done? I bet you are like superwoman   

MM - how did the shopping go?

Well good news for the time being re DH's job. As he is still on probation it has been extended for two weeks while they work out what to do. Good news for now but he is obviously frantically searching for another job. Thanks for your thoughts lovely ladies.

Best be off, the house is chaos!!

Love to all you fab ladies xx


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## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Just a quickie - hope you're all well. Been a higgeldy piggeldy week here - kept F off on Monday as he really wasn't well, plus childminder's kids were ill with a tummy bug so didn't have anyone to have him! He went into work with DH today and felt like I was chasing my tail all day having had last Tuesday off and yesterday! Still, week is done now - one day weeks rock   

How are you all? Not long until Xmas officially begins ie. 1st Dec   

Shrimper - Juts nipped on to say that I'm soooooo sorry but can't make this Saturday    DH failed to inform me that he had arranged for us to visit his grandma and mum.. they live an hour or so away and we aren't going to get to see them before Xmas otherwise - they'll have my guts for garters if we don't take F to see them... so sorry    But let me know if there are any other dates you are all planning to meet as I'd love to come along   

Will post more later or tomorrow girls - love to you all xxx


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## chrisgib

Hello ladies,

Sorry no time for personals.

Where are you all - it's been strangely quiet on here - hope that's a good sign for you all.

Shrimper - glad DH's got good(ish) news. I hope it stays that way. 

DH is defo up for one more cycle - so that's that sorted. But this is defo the last one. It was a very short discussion!

 

 to all you lovely ladies.

Christine
xxx


----------



## Monkeymoo

hi all
Chris glad u n dh are havin another go
Af arrived today so feeling glum. Dh's cousin is due nxt week a day before lo's birthday. So good and bad thoughts about  that. 
Can't believe it's now into counting the days to christmas. I haven't bought anything except secret santa for work. Payday nxt week tho' so mega shopping planned


----------



## Katie4

Monkey so sorry about af. Think we would all have mixed emotions about the new arrival. X 

Chris, great news sweetie. Any idea when it will all kick off again? Will you have any acupuncture or other treatments whilst waiting? I have finally come to bed early to listen to my hypnotherapy cd - doesn't work in DVD player do am reliant on dh putting it on computer and then iPhone. 

Been a busy work week for me but also managed some nice meet ups with friends on Monday and wed which I really needed as I'm the only one still working and was starting to feel v left out- daft but honest! Works been a bit awkward too as the colleague who is taking over from me, who also took over last time asked me to be the understudy trainer for two events - in mid January!!! One an hours drive away, the other a two hour drive away!!! Now considering it was her holiday in 2009 when I was 36 weeks with ng that meant I had to deliver a three day training event on my own which left me unable to walk, drive or leave the house due to my pelvis locking into one position you would think she would have realised that is a complete no go. Plus, although I'm hoping to work to 37 weeks it's not guaranteed! So I've had to explain, over three emails that I can't! She has finally got it and I've discovered she and our boss are both on hol that week which considering they've known for 4 months that I'm  preg really was crap planning. I felt under pressure to say yes but I've stood my ground- I've put too much effort into keeping my pelvis happy to blow it all now - there are other people who can be the understudy. 

Oh and dh is being an ****. Difficult time since the endoscopy, mixture of tiredness and having to have a ct scan on wed- process was fine, just really vile barium drink which left him feeling poorly. 

And I saw a mw for a routine appt on tue and was just so disappointed with her approach, all the right things were done but because she had a student she didn't actually read my notes (in particular- "very upset and tearful about delivery, consider referral to consultant, discuss next time") - now I've made an appt myself to see my consultant but she didn't once actually say- and how are you? Or ask if I had any questions. Now you all know how fragile I feel about my delivery and I know some of it is irrational but I want to be treated a bit gently. Does that make sense? Maybe I expect too much? 

Sorry, I am so lucky I know - I don't mean to moan. 

Danni - how are things at school sweetie? 

Lyns - hope you and dh are coming to terms with your loss x 

Loulou, how's your big girl getting on? 

Sanfran are you still with us?

Pr - how's your weekend? ;-) hope LO is better now.

So then, let's get this ball rolling, what are we all having as mummies for Xmas? We all deserve something special, might not be a thing, doesn't have to be expensive - but what would we like ? 

I'm having a nightie and a set of pjs- debenhams sale and primark- already purchased for dh to wrap but I can't wait to open them! I've also got an apron which matches one for ng from not on the high street.com twee but will get used and cute! 

Please come and post...Tilly you too. Let's escape thinking of family and friends and work and treatment and looming labours and just be indulgent for 5 mins thinking of ourselves x


----------



## Monkeymoo

omg hadn't even thought about presents for me and dh from lo. I would really like my hair cutting and my eyebrows shaping properly. Also running out of some makeup that i really like.


----------



## PocketRocket

Ooooh I like this game Katie    Sorry to hear DH is being a pain - hopefully it'll pass soon. You know these blokes can be more hormonal than us girls   

I have asked DH for indulgent gifts this year - meaning that I have asked for gifts that I wouldn't buy for myself. I have had a Thomas Sabo charm bracelet for two years which I still don't have any charms for  so have asked for a plain 'F' charm. Also I have a LoveLinks bracelet (like the Pandora ones) which DH bought for our first wedding anniversary so each bead means something - mainly linked to tx and F's scans! I've only got space for a few more so, all being well, I should have room for No.2's 12wk scan, 20wk scan and arrival! But don't like to look that far ahead really if that doesn't sound too pessimistic   
I think he has also just bought me some FitFlop boots (no, I'd not heard of them either) as someone at his work can get a discount! 

Other than that, I just wish for a happy and healthy baby No. 2   

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## chrisgib

I'm not much good at this game, as need real time pressure on before I start thinking about presents!

However, given tx etc, we're planning not to spend a fortune - famous last words. DH's family always go over the top on presents, my family are the other extreme. 

So, I think I'll be getting DH something that Holly and I will use - but he'll still like - a portable DVD player with decent battery life! Saw a lovely pink one on Amazon yesterday, half price, at £29 - not sure I could claim it was his present if it's pink though.  As for me, no idea, just the usual socks, smellies, slippers etc - maybe I should try and think of something more personal - I just don't really get the whole present thing at Christmas, all feels a bit forced and indulgent. I just want the same as you PR - i.e. Healthy baby no2.

Sorry - don't mean to be Scrooge - I'm sure I'll get in the swing of it, by Christmas Eve!!

Katie - really pleased you've put your foot down at work - good for you.   

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Am loving the responses but well done girls!!!!  

Omg found out at work "the colleague" has in fact won a holiday and is taking unpaid leave to go as she has no more annual leave left. Am so glad I said no - hope she has a nice time n all but honestly, Im not putting myself out because she's on her jollies!  

Think f Christmas needs to bring me some light bulbs! Everywhere I look another one has gone! 

If any of you need gift ideas I've just done my first ever photo book- it was so easy- you know how I struggle with IT but omg I am so proud! It's photos of ng dating from Xmas eve till October for her grandma. Going to order myself one I think!


----------



## PocketRocket

I've seen those Katie - they are really good and make such lovely presents.

BTW Chris, so glad you and DH have decided to go thru tx again. Keep us informed every step of the way xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi everyone   

How are you all? Any exciting news for me?    Xmas decs and trees all up yet?!

Shrimper - How was the meet up on Saturday?

PR xxx


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Not much news here I'm afraid - no AF, so forgetting all about tx and gearing up for Xmas.  Haven't done decs/trees yet, but did manage to start and finish all the present shopping this weekend so feel good about that.

I did buy a £3 pink pre-lit tree in Asda today - at Holly's request - it's very tacky, but I quite like it!

Holly has had a fever since last Tuesday and I'm running out of sympathy big time. She's really milking it and being very single minded/stubborn. Only eating chocolate and jam! Her eating has gone from bad to worse. Very testing. On the plus side, she's very loving and full of cuddles, only wanting her mummy.   

What's everyone doing for xmas - hosting, or travelling?  We're travelling up to see my folks + sister/nephew + brother/wife, all in Harrogate, so we'll be joining the thousands of people on the M1 - not looking forward to that.

My main stress at the moment is that I've piled on the weight back on that I'd lost prior to the last treatment. Feel awful and out of control. Need to give myself a good talking too.   

love to you all.   

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

These kids are little buggers aren't they?!   
F is being picky about his food too at the mo - he's always been a really good eater so it's a bit of an alien concept to me. I wondered if it was because he'd been ill and lost his appetite so I just gave him all of his favourite foods to pick at.. maybe that was a mistake?!    His obsession with Peppa Pig has taught him a new word... 'YUCK'. So that's what I hear whenever I put a luscious home cooked meal in front of him   

I reckon forgetting about tx and gearing up for Xmas is a great idea for you Chris - a mental and physical break from it all will do you the world of good   

We've decided to do our own thing this Xmas and give our families the option of joining us if they wish.. Xmas morning on our own, then Xmas dinner out! What a treat    We're having it at the place we got married in which should be lovely. Bloody expensive but who cares?! 

Chris - you'll lose the weight again as and when you need to sweetie. Just enjoy the festive season and milk the fact that everyone wil be getting podgy too    I am also gaining huge amounts of weight on and around my hips and thighs.. weeble springs to mind    Might get a fake tan.. that always makes me feel slimmer!!

Pocket x


----------



## Katie4

Ooh Chris, that is impressive  - all those gifts in one weekend. Well done you. As for weight, it's winter, you are fighting nature if you diet! On a serious note, you have been through so much and have coped so very well, if eating things that you perhaps might not usually has made it even slightly easier then don't beat yourself up. Also, your hormones are not yet back into any kind of routine which will def have an effect on your weight. It will all come back together when the time is right. Plus with holly being poorly you must be shattered, not time to give yourself a fair appraisal. When are you heading up north then? We are heading to the in laws so only have a 50 min journey. We are there for Xmas eve- boxing day, then hopefully coming home for peace and quiet! I am lucky in that I will get to rest but I don't feel v settled there if that makes sense? 

Pr when do the Xmas hols start? Have you decided when you are starting mat leave? I've got 7 and a half weeks to go - that'll take me up to 36.5/37 weeks ish. I've got a day off in a week though which gives me a 5 day break from Friday and then Christmas week off plus with mw, consultant and Physio apts and a full day antenatal class I think there's about 6 days left! 

Just read your post pr- am so envious, would love Xmas just the three of us especially getting to eat out! 

How's everyone else getting on?


----------



## PocketRocket

Know exactly what you mean about not being settled at the in-laws Katie    We visited ours for the day on Saturday and it was lovely to see them but so very tiring (they live an hour and a half away) as you don't feel you can relax properly   

Xmas hols start on Friday 16th for everyone else but Tues 13th for me    So only three more getty ups    Not long until you start mat leave then    Sounds as though you are pretty busy up until then though, lady   
I'm planning on finishing at Easter (beginning of April). Was thinking about working up until 4 weeks before but it makes sense for me to leave when a term ends to make it easier for cover (besides, there's no point in me having a two week break then returning for two days!). Can't bloody wait   

Yes, looking forward to Xmas - family up for it too and they are staying at the venue too as there was a good deal on so no cooking, no food stresses, no entertaining and no hosting! And 5 other adults to chase after F!!   

PR xxx


----------



## Twopence

Just wanted to pop in and say 'hi' ladies. Hope you are all having a good weekend.

DH and i have been having a tough week and I then found out I have a low AMH of 2.3. Didnt really see that coming despite the endo so should have really. FSH and LH OK I think and I had some sort of follicle count on day three. The sonographer could see 2 or 3 follies on my left ovary and more on the right. 

Seeing cons next week so fingers crossed.

Sorry for the 'me' post. Just wanted to get it out. I know you ladies are having tough times as well at the mo.

Love to all, will do personals later as DH heading home with a takeaway


xx


----------



## Katie4

Oh rubbish shrimper. Forgive me but I've lost track a bit, have you started treatment or was this a pre treatment scan? What day is your consultant appt? Glad you felt you could share. 

My reason for not posting is a poorly ng. After literally months of waiting as she seems to have been exposed every 4 weeks ng has finally succumb to chicken pox. God love her, she's had a cold and what sounded like a terrible chesty cough but wasn't bothering her at all for two weeks so I popped her to the gp on thur as she had had a one off temp Tuesday night and she said " ooh yes, def needs antibiotics, she's got a chest infection" brilliant- felt so guilty for not taking her sooner and then that night we spotted three spots when she was having a bath. We knew she'd got a good chance of getting it as she spent the day at nursery with a little girl just before her spots came out but it's been 3 weeks so I'd hoped we would miss it again but no. So far feel quite lucky, she's spotty but managing quite well, only intermittent sobbing sessions- and at times she's like the Duracell bunny! Tonight after her bath she just ran around naked and was happiest she's been all day. That said shed just eaten most of a cornetto! She's barely eating and we know this will last 7-10 days so she can have anything right now so diluted juice, biscuits, ice cream....Cheerios for tea! Think we might pay for no 2 to have the vaccine as even though so far she's not that bad I feel like why should she have to go through this? In new Zealand and the USA all kids are vaccinated. 

So my week will be spent at home juggling work in the evenings and afternoons - I've postponed my consultant appt to talk about labour options as it was scheduled for Friday and I can't imagine she will be strong enough to go to nursery even if she's not infectious...next one is in a month though. Will have to think happy thoughts till then! 

Imagine I'll be posting lots....so anticipate daily updates! Lol

So no pressure but it would be lovely to hear from you all. We've Christmas coming up - brilliant, the most stressful time of the year without any work/treatment/family/partner issues....remember we're here for each other x x x


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Katie - so sorry that LO has the pox. Hope there aren't too many spots and hope they're not too itchy. 

Just a quickie as stressing about tx! AF has just arrived and now I'm stressing about whether to do it this month or next month. Dr said to 'crack on' but does a month really make a difference?  Also - urban myth about being more fertile after a m/c?  My big worry though it that my BMI will be too high and they'll cancel treatment (if 35 or above they won't do it.) I'm about 30 now, but rising rapidly! There again, delay could mean extra heavy rather than extra light. Biggy really is that I'm scared of getting a BFN and it being the end. Been through all that before, and not sure I'm up to it all again.

Sorry to offload on to you all - no one else seems to 'get it'. 

Had 2 pregnancy announcements to deal with today too. Very happy for them but....... (you all know how it goes I know.)

Holly now telling me she's got a real baby in her buggy - I hope not!!

Better go - hope you're all well, will be back on later, just waiting for the clinic to call back with dates - that might help my decision.

Love to you all,

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh Chris sweetie. First of all to get from a Bmi of 30 to 35 is a massive leap and you'd struggle to do that even if you were trying in 1 month so try not tO worry about that. As for this month v next. Cracking on to me means don't out this off for 6 months but one cycle surely can't make that much difference? 

Come back and let us know what the clinic say.....

Chicken pox is the pits! Will come back to moan later... X


----------



## Katie4

Chris did they call you? Hope what I said above came across ok. So much is riding on this cycle for you guys, you don't want to feel rushed but at the same time I'm a big believer in fate too if that makes sense? What's your gut instinct?

My little girl has eaten!!!! Hooray! The relief is amazing. Am sure we will have another rough night but just knowing there's some food inside her is bringing me to tears. She has chicken pox in her mouth so everything hurts and she's eaten almost nothing for days but tonight managed a frube yogurt thing and two slices of bread and butter cut into tiny pieces - it took over an hour but was worth it!


----------



## chrisgib

Katie - yes it all came across fine, thanks - clinic phoned but will ring tomorrow with dates. I've calmed a bit, and we probably will do this cycle, but as much as I want it all over - I don't want it over too, unless it's the right result.

Your poor little girl. Is she covered then, head to foot? Has she got a fever too?  It's so miserable, and it does sound like she's got it bad. Holly got off lightly with hardly any spots and I don't recall any being in her mouth or her being (more) off her food than usual. You must be shattered with worry - is she sleeping?  Taking any medication? 

Most nurseries take them back just 5 days from the first spot - only saying that as a guide to how long before she will hopefully start to feel better. Fingers crossed you're through the worst of it now. 

Hope you all have a good nights sleep. I'm going to bed now.

Chat tomorrow.

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Glad you feel calmer and you posted when you weren't- prob helped you to put it down. X 

She's not got "that" many spots- I'm comparing to my niece who prob had 200+ - but she's got about 10 in her hairline, another 8 or so in and around her little nose, at least one in each ear, the evil ones in her month..then her tummy chest and abdomen are spotty but not densely covered. Just a few in her armpits and some on her arms and legs- a random couple appeared on her wrists and hands today !  She's not had a fever since just before the spots came out (small mercies!) has been quite jolly at times. They are starting to dry out a bit but I've got her off nursery for the week as even once she's no longer infectious I think she will still be v run down, especially as she's on her second bottle of antibiotics for a chest infection. (silver lining of that is that they will also protect her from skin infections which is a blessing)

Let us know what they say sweetie. We are all behind you.  X

Ps up at this hour for no reason- she's fast asleep!!


----------



## Twopence

Hi Ladies

Been absent for a bit as also have a poorly DD. SHe is running a temp, cant shake off her chesty cough and tonight has gunk coming out of here eyes and is very snotty. She has a dr app tomorrow but hoping she is OK for our planned visit to Father Christmas tomorrow (who she isnt a great fan of but loves the pressies)   

Katie - what a random time to be up!! Was also awake then but with a slightly upset DD. Think she also has a sore throat as she is off her food and has been poking here ears so reckon the ears hurt as well. Poor little sausage. Hope NG is feeling better and yay for the food!!

I am not cycling yet, just got blood results. Seeing cons on Thursday.

Chris - hope you feel more 'sorted' now and are definite in your decision. Where are you having tx?

Hi PR - how are you?

oh btw, didnt get to play the present wish game but I would love a fab leather look jacket and boots   

Love to all xx


----------



## chrisgib

Goodness, what a poorly lot our LO's are - there's a lot of horrible bugs out there at the mo.

Shrimper, hope you're OK. Good luck for Thursday.

Katie - how is DD today?

PR - you OK hun? 

Loulou, Lyns - you still lurking out there?   

The clinic (BCRM in Bristol) rang and I've got my dates:
Tablets start - 30th Dec
Buserilin injections start - 1st Jan
Blood test - 16th Jan - 10.10am
If all OK, Gonal F start 18th Jan
1st Scan 25th Jan - Wed at 8.30am

I'm exhausted just reading it! But yes, we're going for it this month. No point putting it off really, will have to face the music some time and at least it won't interfere with summer holidays etc which as you know, is important to us!

Hope you're all coping with this mad weather. We were building hail stone castles today!   

Christine
xx


----------



## Katie4

Ooh shrimper, don't let them fob you off with its prob viral- sounds like she's suffering and needs some antibiotics poor thing.  Love your Xmas wishes btw x

And Chris, so funny, looking at those dates I was like, well that's next cycle?! Omg where has the time gone? Think I'm in denial about the fact it is mid dec now ! Am excited for you sweetie. Does that mean a sober Christmas then ? 

Pr think youve brokEn up today haven't you ? 

Right must get some sleep!


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Sorry I have been a bit awol recently    I just don't seem to have enough hours in the day to do anything at the moment!!

Chris - Those dates are overwhelming but it's nothing you've not done before girl    And starting the DRing right at the beginning of 2012 has got to be a good thing - new year, new chapter    We are with you every step of the way   

Shrimper - Poor LO sounds really grotty. There is so much going around at the mo it isn't true! Hope Thursday goes well - keep us informed. Which clinic did you decide to go with in the end?

Katie - Sounds like you and LO have been in for a rough time recently    Fingers Xed NG is on the mend soon. Where do you stand being PG and near the pox?! I guess if you've already had it then it's ok?

AFM, broke up yesterday       so very relieved that between now and Jan 9th I am only in for one INSET day    (working Mon and Tues defo has it's benefits   ) but F was wide awake at 4.30am so not the relaxing start to the holidays as I had hoped (not that 'relaxing starts' are a common occurence but you know what I mean) so I have stretched to hoovering the lounge and cleaning the kitchen and I am going back to bed when F has his nap!!

So are you all ready for Xmas? I'm pretty much done but still need to buy some more presents for DH - although I feel as though I am buying for the sake of it as he told me what he'd like when it was too late    and I'd already bought him a few bits and pieces. So he'll have to wait for next year for his wine tasting workshop!! 

Right, LO is looking dozy so might take this opportunity to rest up for a bit...    

Love to you all xxxx


----------



## louloumay

Still lurking  . 

Good luck Chris  

Love to you all.


----------



## PocketRocket

Glad you're still lurking, Loulou ;0)

Lots of love to you sweetie xxx


----------



## Katie4

Evening! 

Right, let's see if I can keep up- 

Chris... Have you got your head round those dates now? Like pr said, new year, new start. 2011 was a tough one for you. 

Loulou, glad your lurking hun, think about you lots. 

Pr- glad you've a nice break from work. 4.30 is a torturous time to be up. Poor you. Hope you've managed to "lie in" till 6 since then! 

Lyns, how are you managing sweetie? 

Danni- Hows your LO getting on at school now? Hope the bullying has been stopped and she's brighter now. Is Roxie fully well now? And how about you? Will you be having treatment in the new year too? 

Sanfran, are you still reading? 

Shrimper, how are things with you? Did your LO end up on antibiotics too? And did you make your grotto trip?

Monkey, are you all set for Christmas? 

As for us, she's finally well! Pox all dried up - just going through the sore stage as they tighten and get ready to drop off. She has a few really big ones - including three on her face which I think may scar. :-( but it's lovely to have her in good health, I'm so grateful and her appetite is just about back to normal. We went to a carol service tonight and I took ham wraps, grapes, mini finger of fudge - she ate the lot throughout the service and happily accepted a small mince pie at the end and asked me what was for tea on the way home! think she's catching uP!


----------



## Monkeymoo

hi everyone, just a quickie. Everything on hold at the moment as back in hospital with lo. He  has some sort of virul infection following in from his cold the other week. 
Hope u're all ok and all set for the week ahead.
Mm x


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls   

Oh Monkey Moo - so sorry to hear that LO is in hospital    Really hope he is on the mend and ready for Father Christmas' visit this weekend. let us know how he is getting on.

Katie - So glad NH is feeling better in time for Xmas    It's such a relief when they eat properly again isn't it? F has got his appetite back again too but unfortunately only for 'kiddy' food ie. beans, spaghetti, toast, chips and 'tocklit'    Who'd have guessed he'd have emerged from his man flu a fussy eater    Ah well at least he is eating I suppose...

Chris - How are you feeling about everything now sweetie?   

Loulou, Lyns, Dannii, SanFran -    to you ladies.

Shrimper - How are you feeling about your appointment this week? Good luck... will be thinking of you   

AFM, been to stay with my parents with F for a couple of days which was nice as DH was away with work/on numerous Xmas doos (he has a major hangover today and has been as much use as a chocolate teapot but he is trying to push on through so I suppose I should give him credit for that   ) We are in the process of sorting out the spare room to move F in - the amount of c*ap you manage to store in one room is unbelievable    so am feeling the 'cleanse' of binning everything!

Other than that, I'd just like to cosy up inside and sleep until this cold weather disappears   

Pocket Rocket xxx


----------



## fingersxed

Hi Ladies,
Would you mind if I join you? 
Following two failed IVF I have a beautiful daughter but have been trying for no.2 for a year now and in the last week 5 of my friends have told me they are expecting their no.2s which I'm finding quite hard to deal with. I am of course absolutly delighted for them - I just feel so dissapointed with myself for not having managed it myself. I am actually convinced that I was preganant a couple of months ago which would put me at the same stage as them but it was not to be. 
Anyway, I promise not to moan if you let me join in... (too much anyway) and besides I have a beautiful daughter who is my very own miracle and just waking up so must fly...
Merry Christmas all
FX


----------



## chrisgib

Welcome Fingersxed - don't apologise for moaning - that's what we're all here for, to listen and support you. I'm sure we've all been through weeks like you've had with regard to others announcing their no2's - it's a real killer.   

I see from your signature that your DD was a natural conception following treatment. Have you got more treatment lined up or are you praying for another natural miracle? Sorry for the interrogation!    

Hi - to everyone else too, I'll be back on later properly hopefully.   

Let's hope 2012 is luck for us all.   

Christine
xx


----------



## fingersxed

Hi Christine,
Thanks. No treatment lined up as yet - I guess I was hoping for another miracle and also I don't respond well to treatment, only managing to produce at most 3 eggs which is a pretty poor show after all those drugs!   So no frosties.  Looks like you've had your fare share (or more) of heartache   .
Looking on the bright side at least it's not a sober Christmas (and I may need a bevvy or two with the inlaws coming!   
ttfn,
FX


----------



## Katie4

Sorry fingersxed, missed you off my personals. Welcome hun, as Chris said we know precisely where you are coming from. 

How's everyone been today? 

I'm in bed already! Had to force myself to stay awake till ng went quiet!


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Sorry not to have been back sooner. How is everyone?

Katie - glad DD is over the pox, hopefully the spots will disappear quickly. Their skin is so amazingly repairable, I hope the scarring doesn't worry you/her.

Pocket - hope you're enjoying the clear out - very therapeutic. I need to do that too, but I'm rubbish at throwing anything away!

Fingersxed - your response to tx sounds a bit like mine - always get to the finish line by the skin of my teeth, but never have a great response - normally about 2 or 3 embryos. Keep telling myself I just need one, but would have been lovely to get some frosties.  Are you using a fertility monitor (I used to use the clearblue one). Good luck - I hope you get the right result soon.

Shrimper - is it your appointment tomorrow? Good luck - hope you hear the right answers. 

Monkeymoo - How's LO doing? Sounds like you've had a tough time.

Loulou, Lyns, Dannii,  -   

I've gone all sad. Christmas/New Year is a very reflective time and I feel really down thinking about what's happened this year. I spend my time trying to look forward (some would call it denial) so I feel it's all taken me by surprise.  Didn't help that a 'friend' had one of those thoughtful statements on ** about a thought for all the 'babies that didn't make it'.  Not sure I've got the strength to face tx and the possibility of a BFN. Drugs arrive next Wednesday. I don't feel in the right place for tx, need to get my head in gear - blah blah blah - you all know what it's like. 

DH is out tonight, so to cheer myself up I'm watching back to back Take That concerts that I'd recorded on the tv - how sad - but they're quite uplifting!!   

Sorry about the moan. Think you'll be sick of me over the next few weeks, hopefully once I've started tx then I'll stop worrying about doing it, as there will be lots of other things to worry about instead.   

Sleep well everyone.

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh sweetie, it's only natural you would think back over the year. It's painful but in some way might help you prepare for jan? 

I vividly remember hoping dh would put a note in my Xmas card like he did before we got engaged (implying what it was coming) but this time about us trying again, and I was so crushed when there was nothing. At that point the chance of us even ttc again was something I had to accept wouldn't happen for the sake of my marriage and then came the curve ball 5 months later where he relented and you know the rest. 

Didn't mean to sound shallow about ngs scars...you know what it's like, they have such perfect skin. Most have healed beautifully already, it's just the big ones I'm watching. 

Monkey hope your little one is out of hosp and on the mend. You must be exhausted with worry. Sending you all strength x


----------



## Monkeymoo

hi everyone, sending out huge hugs.
Still in hosp with lo as he has bronchiolitis and has had to be put on oxygen. So looks like another christmas in hospital for us. Me and dh taking it in turns to stop over so just about managing a quick update of the night before and then it's shift change. All this has made me think a little as i've been imagining if we had no 2 and what would have happened. Lo is most likely to be in hosp a few times for a good few years so maybe it's best not to rush things. I won't stop ttc but will try not to focus on it as much.


----------



## chrisgib

Oh MM,  . You are having a really tough time. Your thoughts re No2 are natural, and unless you're as old as me there's really no rush on these things. The priority is of course for your DS to get well and come home.  

I really hope he gets well soon.

Christmas is about being together, doesn't matter if it's at home or elsewhere - it's just a good time to value everything we have, as opposed to stressing about what we don't have.

I'll be travelling to Harrogate tomorrow, so won't be online, although can read on my phone. Hope everyone has a good Christmas.

Christine
xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi everyone,

Monkeymoo - sending you lots of    I hope your LO is on the mend really soon and that your Xmas Day is special wherever you happen to be    Will be thinking of you   

Heard some news today which I didn't think would affect me given my very lucky situation but it is really playing on my mind... forgive my rant in advance   
DH has a younger brother and TBH, I have never really been a huge fan of his    To summarise, he has a rather seedy past ie. drink, drugs, dodgy deals, etc etc (am sure you get the idea) and has always been incredibly jealous of DH (DH has, to be fair, always been the 'model son', but he has worked bloody hard for it and deserves all the credit he has received) and his brother, who has always struggled to even hold down a job, has said some VERY nasty things to him in the past (I have NEVER forgotten some of the callous remarks) yet everyone has just accepted everything he said and does because 'he's just like that'. The family (including my MIL and DH) have always trodden on eggshells around him (he can be very volatile) and let him get away with some disgusting behaviour... as I said - all of the above is purely a summary - you can imagine if I went into detail!! 
Anyway, we found out today that DH's brother is going to be a dad (his girlfriend is 6 weeks pg). I was initially very pleased for them (his gf is the only one who has been able to 'tame' him and turn him into someone relatively 'normal') but after mulling it over, decided that actually it's bloody unfair    If I can be as nasty and resentful as to say this, why can he have children naturally and we have had to endure the stressful journey of tx? Albeit very successful and I really am grateful for the outcome - every single day I count our blessings - I really do. I know that sounds awful and I should probably be reprimanded by the powers that be for saying it, but why is it that he should have it so 'easy' and we (meaning me and DH, and all of you girls) are much nicer people have been made to suffer??

(I can feel karma working its way to me as I type...   )

I know I am terrible for saying and feeling this way, especially as I should be happy for them and especially given my number one miracle and my growing number two miracle - but I just can't help it.

Sorry for sounding off girls - just needed to get it all down to people who I know will understand   

Will prob be on before Xmas to wish you all a wonderful day - but just in case I'm not.. have a good one girls   

PR xxx


----------



## Twopence

PR - I sooooooo hear you. Dont even get me started but I hope you have manmaged to calm down. My line of work means I see that kind of thing day in day out and it never gets any easier to bear.

MM - hope LO is feeling better. Big   to you all.

Katie - Hope NG is feeling better and the scars are hurting less. I am sure her skin will be fine in time but I can promise you (from personal experience) that Aloe Vera gel works wonders. 

Chris - have a fab time away. You deserve to have a fab xmas. I hope you get thoroughly spoilt. 

FX - welcome to the thread. I know it is so hard to hear that news. So many of my friends are doing the same at the moment. I have a friend who is having a c section on the 9th Jan and has asked me to go and visit her in hospital. It just isnt the place I need to be (on a maternity ward full of newborns with me wailing away) but luckily a more thoughtful friend of ours has offered to go on our behalf.

AFM, we were due to start tx in Jan but have decided to put it back. Just not in the right place at the moment and too much on in Jan so hoping Feb will be better.

MUst be off, supposed to be doing pressies!!

love to all xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Thanks Shrimper    Have calmed down a bit now but generally in a bad mood anyway so that piece of news didn't really help    DH has said that he is glad we are pg ourselves otherwise it'd hit us hard, especially as (his words) 'my brother has one go and it happens'. That helped in a way as I can see he felt the same way about it as I did but I can't fully express how I feel about him or the situation as it is his brother after all..   

FX - I'm so sorry... In my rant and rage earlier I didn't welcome you to the thread    How rude of me    So sorry - welcome sweetie   

PR xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Evening girls....

Monkey darling, what a tough week for you. At least you can make santa come to your house any night in the next month. And you've another 48 hrs until the official big day, here's hoping he springs back in that amazing way kids do.....even if you and dh are totally knackered. And as for another, its understandable you would worry but think about all that another day, you've enough on right now. 

Chris, hope the journey is straightforward, and you have a good break. Know you usually talk to your mum about treatment so hopefully you'll find a quiet moment to talk. 

Pr - it's completely understandable (to me). We all know life just isn't fair sometimes. 

Shrimper- sounds like youve made a sensible decision hun. It'll take the pressure off over the next few weeks for you and means you can give it the attention you want to when the time comes. And as for your friend, she'll be too busy with sore nipples and scar to have visitors. Plus they tend to be in and out in 3 days now - no time for visitors! 


I've been into the office today and it v much felt like my last day even though I'm planning on going back in January - and as I walked out I started to get pelvic pain...please don't let this be the start. With 8 weeks to go I'm pretty petrified. Last time it started like this at 37 weeks and I couldn't walk within 24hours. Am hoping I'm being melodramatic. I'll happily give myself the label of drama queen - just please let me wake up ok tomorrow. X


----------



## Katie4

Ok...seems to have eased, I'm not doing cartwheels but I can take small pain free steps.


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## PocketRocket

So pleased the pain has eased Katie. Don't blame you for being a drama queen as you put it - after your nightmare last time I think it's only natural. I was up at 3am like you too    so tired today - had a blazing row with DH (we hardly ever argue   ) and I've got a horrid sore throat (just in time for Xmas, eh!?   ) so my mind was busy for ages! We could have had a chat   

If I'm not on here before Xmas Day girls then I hope you all have a fantastic day with your LOs    Will be making lots of special Xmas wishes for those of you about to start another tx journey   

Pocket xxx


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## Katie4

Evening ladies! 

Hope you're all sorted for tomorrow (whatever that means...) and your children are fast asleep - unlike mine...she was yawning her head off at 7 and is still chuntering away?! I'm shattered and want to go to bed but we are sharing! Lol

Have lovely days tomorrow watching the delight of your little ones when they see Santa has been x


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## Dannii_Doots

Merry Christmas everyone!

will catch up soon x


----------



## fingersxed

Hi Ladies,
Thanks for the welcome - been a busy few days so sorry not to have responded to them yet. Can't imagine what I've been up to.... oh yes Christmas! Hope you all had a fabulous time with your LOs and lots of gorgeous presents. Lets hope that 2012 brings us all joy.  
I'm going to stay with a friend for the new year who has two girls both with severe autism and epilepsy - brings my life back into perspective. I have a beautiful daughter who is perfect in everyway   (well most of the time anyway).
Happy new year too you and look forward to getting to know you better next year.
Love FX


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## chrisgib

Hi all,

Happy Christmas, hope you all had a good one.

Have a lovely time away with your friends fingersxed. Like you say, health worries like that make us very grateful for our own situations, however imperfect we might think they are.

Katie - how are you feeling hun?  Is it SPD that's causing the pain? Amazing to think there's only a few more weeks to go.   

Pocket - hope your feelings towards BIL didn't spoil your xmas. It's only natural though I'm sure - I would have been exactly the same. 

Shrimper - how are you doing? 

MonkeyMoo - how is DS?

Hi to everyone else   - sorry have lost track again on what's what.

I had a lovely trip to harrogate. Holly was on top form and my parents loved having her around which was good. My top treatment related news though is that my folks have offered to pay for it. I'm so grateful to them. Whilst we were going ahead anyway, it really takes off some of the overall pressure. All along they've hoped that DH's parents would contribute too, but no luck there. Think people always assume it's the woman's 'fault'.  Drugs arrive on Wednesday, and I start on Friday - aaagh!  Still tempted to delay, but just need to get a grip and start thinking positively again. 

I remember from last year that lots of our LO's have birthdays around the same time so guess we're all getting in to birthday mode now - make good use of the sales!!

love to you all,

Christine
xxx


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Hello lovelies 

welcome fingersxed

girls just wanted to fill you in on whats been happening...

got the bullying sorted and j is alot more settled in school, they were fantastic as were the other childs parents thank goodness.

me and dp took some time apart for a few weeks, j and i stayed at home and dp stayed with his mum. we needed time apart as things were really bad between us for a while  i'm happy to report that we are back together and happy again, life was getting too hard for us both and we were taking it out on each other but we do love each other and thats what matters!

santa has been and gone and we are very happy with our presents, j and i are going to the x-factor concert.. yay! 

this time next week my baby will be nine.. oh my gosh! how did that happen? 

i just wanted to fill you in in all the going ons from my end and i hope you all and the little ones had a fab happy healthy and peacefull christmas x


----------



## Monkeymoo

hi everyone hope you all had a goid xmas. Nice to see some good news on here. Sending lots of positive vibes. Lo came out of hosp yesterday and is doing fine. Back to old routine but he's sleeping a bit longer . Me and dh celebrated being home by going to bed early  well .... It's been a week.


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## PocketRocket

Morning lovelies,

So nice to come on here and hear lots of nice news   

Dannii - SO great to hear that DD is settled in school again and it restores my professional faith that the school and parents were helpful in sorting out a horrid situation. Sorry to hear that you and DH had some time apart but also glad to hear that it did you both the world of good   Life/tx/relationships can make life so intense and having a break from it and each other probably gives you a chance to reassess and recooperate! And I'm well jel about the X Factor concert    

MonkeyMoo - So so happy to hear that LO is happy and healthy and back home   Nice to hear that you and DH celebrated appropriately too   

Chris - So kind of your parents to offer to pay for your tx. I understand that you would have gone ahead anyway but it just takes that extra pressure off when you know the finance side is less than it could be!

Katie - How are you feeling? Hope you've had a good Xmas and not been in too much pain   

Fingers Xed - Have a wonderful time with your friends.. it's true what you say about other people's situation putting yours into perspective... everyone has their issues don't they - whether it is pre or post conception, I suppose   

Shrimper - Hope you've had a good Xmas break   

Lyns, SanFran, Loulou -   

Anyone else I have missed   

AFM, had a lovely Xmas with family.. we went out for Xmas lunch as I think I mentioned which was a total luxury! Think my mum missed the cooking and entertaining (weirdo   ) but me and DH found it great to be at home and everyone come to us instead of us rushing around to everyone else!! LO loved his gifts - he was thoroughly spoiled by everyone, but his favourite toys? The cheap tacky stocking filler cars that I got him for a fiver!! Kids    Not quite sure where I am going to put everything    Reckon the sooner we sort out his big boy's room the better! Got my 20 week scan this Friday which I am looking forward to but also a little nervous about - you girls know the drill    Got a crappy cough which is making every muscle in my body ache as I splutter but a day at home with my boy (poor DH is back to work today   ) will hopefully help. Although he has had a great time over the last few days I think it has thrown him out of routine completely! Although two days worth of lie ins until 7am is something I could get used to   

Lots of Love to you all and let's hope 2012 is a great one for us all xxxx


----------



## Twopence

Hi Ladies

Lovely to see you all had good Xmas's and the LO's were spoilt.

MM - so glad your DS is home where he belongs

Katie - how is the pain doing? Easing up a bit?

DD- glad you and DP are sorted, a lovely Xmas pressie.

Chris - yay for your parents. Brilliant news 

FX - hope you have a lovely break.

Well DD got toally spoilt for Xmas (by us - hee hee) and had alovely time with all the family here (both sides). Yesterday was just us and we went to the zoo which was lovely. Tomorrow we have her best friend over for a little lunch.

It is her birthday soon and there are lots of pressies here for her already   Looking for a bike for her but I think she might be too little yet. Got her some lovely half price coats in the john lewis sale but shr efuses to try them on. They are quite big tho depsite her being two in a fortnight. SHe is very petite. It scared her a bit bless her as they were so huge   

DH and I have pp'd tx we were starting in Jan. Still havent really got our head around it. Cant even work out if it is the right thing to do......

Love to you all xx


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Pocket - good luck for tomorrow. I completely understand the exciting/terrifying emotion that these scans bring. Are you planning to ask what flavour?!  Hope you get lots of nice pictures for the album.   

I haven't really got any more news - I forgot to go to acupuncture today, so not a good start to treatment!   I don't even know what day it is any more. Tablets start tomorrow.... hope I remember that! I've got a banging headache though - had it for days and drugs don't seem to work - I'm assuming it's caffeine withdrawl, but it's awful this time.

Shrimper - on the bike front - we got Holly a balance bike for her 2nd birthday, but she's not really been that interested (because it takes practice!) Then about 6 months later I got her a pedal one off ebay and she loves it - but I'm still persevering to get to use the balance one. Which sort are you considering? Her best present for her 2nd, was her scooter - have you got one of those? (much easier to carry when she gets fed up!)

love to you all,

Christine
xx


----------



## Monkeymoo

hi everyone, hope ure all ok. Af arrived yesterday so feeling a bit pants but everything else settling down at home and back to routine. Lo even sleeping longer so getting a lie in


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## Katie4

Evening!!

Right, let's see what I can remember...I'm terrible (just like a goldfish) and on my phone so it'd hard to read back

Pocket- good luck for tomorrow..you are bound to have mixed emotions, but there's no reason why it shouldn't be a lovely reassuring experience. X 

Chris...can I suggest you put reminders on your phone? I would forget to cook tea without them! Lol Here's hoping this cycle runs smoothly and you stay super relaxed ;-) 

Danni- brilliant that your daughter is happy at school and great news about you and dh. It must have been v v v hard at the time but clearly it was totally the right thing for you all. 

Shrimper, We've just got ng a bike with stabilisers for Xmas (shes 3 in a month)and she's really taken to it but didn't to her scooter which we got in the summer. But then we've not really given her the chance to practice on it very often. I know of another little one who had a bike from 2 and loved it as well as his scooter! For ngs second birthday we did smaller presents - things that have been a big hit here are her kitchen, a chip and pin till, a car seat for her dolly/toys. As for treatment, sounds like you are both of the same opinion which is hugely important. 

Monkey- how are you all doing now you are back at home? Have you had your Christmas day? I can't imagine how tough these last few weeks have been for you all. Oh, and af too?! What a buggar. Choc and wine for you my lovely x

Thanks so much got asking how I've been- it's been a real mixed bag- my pelvis has been really good which is amazingly positive; being at the in-laws helped as they are really hands on meaning I could observe a lot and rest plenty. And the mysterious abdominal pain? Well two good days on Xmas eve and day then it's been extremely sore from boxing day till around lunch time today...but I've had a really good few hours since lunch so am enjoying it while it lasts! 

And I'm totally back on the section v having a go the other way merry go round. 

We had a 4d scan on the 23rd which was so special (little monkey was hiding their face with their hands but we got a quick glimpse on the second attempt!) and I got an estimate of weight....4lb 12oz at 31.5weeks. The sonographer said that made me 32.5 weeks but from what I've read on baby centre it puts me at the average weight for 34+ weeks and based on a weight gain of about 8oz a week I'm looking at an 8lb 12oz baby at term - pretty much what I expected as ng was 8lb but if I couldn't get an 8lb baby out without the vile forceps (shudder) what chance have I got with a bigger one? (I'm 5ft 4 and didn't inherit what my mother would have called "child bearing hips"). Dh is totally happy for me to choose whichever option I like and knowing the estimated weight has made him say that he thinks a section would be better....just wish I could get my head round it- it feels indulgent and like I'm being ridiculous even thinking about it...and yet, if my pelvis "goes" then I'm totally at peace with having the next possible section slot available. 

Sorry....suspect I'll be talking about this for a few weeks to come... The good news is I'm seeing my consultant in 2 weeks so may have made the decision by then! 

Those of you who had sections, how sore were you afterwards? Which pain killers did you need once you were home? And did you recovery easily or suffer with infections, poor healing etc? 

Round and round and round...!!!


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## chrisgib

Wow Katie - you're a great phone typist!

I hadn't realised you were still undecided about the delivery. Can I just ask - were your hips bad after delivery last time, or did it suddenly all get better once the baby was out? Only reason I ask is that the whole 'position' (if they make you go on your back) of delivery naturally can really aggravate the pelvis. My friend (who had severe SPD) was basically unable to walk for 12 months after the birth, so had a section for her second and was so so much better as the procedure is so quick and relatively relaxed, you're not made to be in these awful strenuous positions for too long.  Apologies if your condition is nothing like this - but from what you've said, it sounds like a medical decision rather than a lifestyle one. 

As for sections - probably told you all this before and of course it's only second hand - but my three best pals all had sections for their second babies. Two were elected, one wasn't. All three healed well, but it did take the full 6 weeks to get stomach muscles working again, and it was really painful if they overdid it, which obviously everyone does.   I'm not sure what drugs they were given but can find out if you need some more comparisons. They all had young toddlers to look after, but managed - but do take all the offers of help you can, no matter what the downsides/annoyances are! My friend with the SPD stayed for 5 days in hospital to give her maximum rest before returning home, but the others were out after about 3 nights I think.

Your 4d scan sounded great. DH wouldn't let me have one last time. Do they give you a DVD to watch at home?

Yes, got reminders on my phone for next appointments and will have them for injections etc - problem is I switch them off and then promptly forget!  I'm like a 'goldfish-extreme'! 

MM - really sorry, I'd not read your post properly. So glad you're all home together again, must have been so tough for you all. You sound so brave to have confronted the relationship thing, so pleased it's all worked out.   


Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Thanks Chris, all info gratefully received! In terms of my pelvis - yep it's spd but the pain was at the joint at the back rather than between my legs. For me it came on v severely at 37 weeks and left me unable to walk without crutches- and yet at the time the advice was labour naturally - fortunately I had a great Physio who briefed me on what to write on my birth plan so I laboured on my knees and then whn in theatre I told the staff off because my knees weren't level! Lol I was much better after the birth and by 12 weeks that was fine - not perfect but ok. This time it's lurking in the background so far and if I manage to get to term without it then trying a water birth is def recommended for the support it will give. 

Lol about the phone reminders! Tell us your regime and we'll remind you ;-) 

Thanks again for the info, x x


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Just a quick selfish 'me' post   

All was well with baby at the scan today    thank goodness. As far as they can tell no abnormalities which although there is always 'that chance', is very reassuring.
I was told, however, that I have a low lying posterior placenta which I know is very common at this early stage. I have to have a 32 week scan so they can check to see if it has moved, but from what I can gather from my notes and what she said it is completely covering the cervix. Trying not to worry as I know there is still a chance it can move but of course I'd be lying if I said it wasn't playing on my mind    If it hasn't moved then I will need to see a consultant who may suggest I have to have a c-section.
The main thing is that Bubba is fine which is all I care about really!

What is everyone up to for New Year?

PR xxx


----------



## Twopence

Hi Ladies

Thank you all for the advice re DD and a bike. She got a scooter for Xmas from my sis and nephew which so far she seems to be enjoying. She is very petite (still in size 12 - 18 month clothes) and where as I would love to buy her a bike, I think she is too little for any with stabilisers so will see what happens in the summer sales and if she has grown!!

Now, after all that advice, what can I get her for her birthday??

Katie - hope you are still feeling relatively pain free. I had a C section and was out of hospital after four nights. I had a shower the day after DD was born and was moving around as much as possible. THe next day I was washimg my hair etc. 

The only painkillers I took after leaving hospital were paracetamol which were fine for me. I was ok going up and downstairs (albeit slowly) and the only problem I had was getting up from lying down so when I hhad to bf DD at night DH had to pull me up. Well actually I pulled myself up on him so I could go at my own pace. 

PR - Glad the scan went well and hope the placenta moves.

Well best be off, sorry for lack of personals but have been typing this for 20 mins and have totally forgotten what everyone has written.

Had some rubbish news today. DH's dad was told he has vascular dementia. He and the MIL were planning to move away and have exchanged contracts on their house. They have now decided to stay in the area where they are as they have good healthcare but have nowhere to live as of the 23rd Jan!!

Dh is understandable very upset and so we rushed over to his parents. Luckily DD was soon cheering everyone up.

Sorry for that ladies, you have enough of your own worries. Thing is, I am now wondering of we should postpone tx even more whilst this is sorted. How much does stress actually affect tx?

oh poop, am off before I explde

love to all xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Evening, 


Pocket, terrific news that the LO is OK, try to enjoy knowing they are growing just as they should be   and as for your naughty placenta, only time will tell - I know it's worrying but they are keeping an eye on you and if you are worried go back before and ask for an earlier scan so you've an idea of whether it's budged. They can certainly move.  


Shrimper, OMG, what tough news to face. Thank heavens for your LO keeping everyone's spirits up. And as for treatment, don't make any decisions today, give yourselves time to get used to your FIL's condition and then you will make the right decision for you and your family. And as for what to get your dainty little girl, does she have a pram or pushchair? Both are so popular in our house. Or a tea set? Or little kitchen? 


NG is on some kind of bizarre growth spurt at the mo - she told me she was hungry and thirsty as she went to bed - half a banana, a glass of milk and a slice of fruit loaf later she went to bed! And she'd eaten well at tea!


----------



## Twopence

Hi Katie

Yes, she got a pushchair from us this Xmas but she doesnt have a kitchen. Will have to have a look and se what is out there. She loves the one at the childminders and when we go to toddler group.

I wish DD would grow!! She is on some sort of hunger strike. She is hardly eating at all at the moment which is very frustrating!!

AS is DH who is in agony after doing his back in. It never rains........

Love to all xx


----------



## chrisgib

Morning!

Sorry i wasn't around last night - I was out shopping trying to find something to wear tonight - but I think I've eaten myself pregnant - I looked at least 6 months in anything I tried on, if only it was that easy!! I didn't get anything, other than a real kick to go on a proper diet.

Pocket - so glad bubba is growing well. I'm assuming your placenta worries are about the low lying bit, rather than the posterior bit? Fingers crossed it all sorts itself out in the next few weeks. Difficult not to worry, but try to enjoy the next phase of your pregnancy. The positive side is that they will monitor you very closely to check that all is OK, and will be able to sort out a plan for you if things don't resolve themselves.

Shrimper - I agree with Katie, a kitchen would be great if you've got the space. We used to have just a cheapy plastic (like a £10 one from Asda) but Holly played with it loads - it's now been put in the playhouse in the garden, so glad it was just a cheap one! A playhouse is another option of course. We tend not to buy much for H for xmas/birthday but then buy her something in the summer without feeling too guilty. This year we plan to get a trampoline for the garden, for me to play on too.  That's another thought - how about an indoor trampoline, the sort with a handle to hold on to. Holly has played on hers loads and is great for using all their energy on a rainy day and can be put outside too.

This is ours - http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0007VZVGK/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=103612307&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B003MPVSGA&pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_r=1YYE6WS4AYF5XV3VGTKK

Other than being out tonight at friends for NYE which should be good, I'll be spending my weekend baking and planning for Holly's birthday party on Monday (birthday is Tuesday). Not that much to do, but it all needs doing at the last minute so I'll be in a panic.

MM - how are you feeling now? Sorry that AF arrived. Glad things are getting back to normal, and you're getting some sleep - the world can feel a different place after that. 

Hi to everyone else - big plans for tonight?

Christine
xx

/links


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## Katie4

Ooh yes Chris my big plans have included getting my grumpy tired child to bed early, emptying some drawers and now checking in with my FFs before what I'm hoping will be a lovely early night! Might consider a bath if I'm going to be really daring! ;-) How did the first dose go (yesterday right?). Hope you have a really lovely night tonight. A trampoline is on our list for the summer too. 

Shrimper, sorry she's living on thin air- if it's any consolation ng was until literally the last day or so and today has had to be given ultimatums about eating tea! And thanks for the section info, v much appreciated. Our kitchen was her main present last year a Miele one from elc- cost £50 and wasn't worth that so I complained and got £25 off which was much better. If you have the room for a sturdy one the ikea wooden one is lovely and I'm sure was v competitively priced as I know I saw it after we had put ours up! Sorry dh is out of action. It's because it's Xmas! Last year we had a broken washing machine which flooded the utility and this year the lights keep fusing- first the kitchen (2 new transformers (?!) and two new switches later) and now the lounge and hall! The house is barely 15 years old! 

Right off to eat things I shouldn't and maybe have that bath! 

Happy new year my lovely ladies- thinking of you all and hoping 2012 is good and kind to you and your families

Katie x


----------



## bubu

Dear Katie,

thank u so v much for reassuring me few days ago about spd and vaginal delivey..I wanted to ask that we can only have epidural for normal vaginal delivery and spinal for c-section..is that correct ?  My max.gap is 12 inches from knee to kneebeyond that is agony.Hoping that my decision for normal vaginal delivery is the right one ...was trying to PM you but ur inbox is full 

Thanks,
Bubu


----------



## Monkeymoo

happy new year everyone. Will try and do a few personals next week when i get back to work. Lo doing brilliantly. Cough almost gone and routine back to normal. Or as normal as it can be.


----------



## Katie4

Monkey that's brilliant - so pleased normal life has resumed. Here too...more lights fused, dh in a foul mood, I'm cooking and looking forward to him going back to work!


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## chrisgib

Good stuff Monkey, really pleased for you.

I'm up to my ears in icing, stressing about whether chocolate cake with choc icing will go funny in the fridge!  Any ideas?!  Party (Gymboree one) in the morning, then friends here for lunch - I'm a rubbish host, why is it all my friends are real foodies - never mind, they're only getting bread & cheese for lunch tomorrow, and left over party food of course.

Tonight is the first injection (as I don't like sniffing) - don't let me forget! 

Katie - hope you had that bath!   

Christine
xx


----------



## Twopence

Hi ladies

Happy new year. Go you Chris with the baking!! I am very impressed. I have just discovered baking and should send you all some of my pina colada muffins. They sound vile but taste sooooo yummy.

Thanks all for the present ideas. We have a very titchy house but I do like the idea of a little pop up playhouse type thing. Must check out kitchen dimensions etc though online and have a look at all the different recommendations.

Chris - hope you have injected!!

MM - glad routine is somewhat being restored!!

Well just when we thought we couldnt get any more cr8p news in before the end of 2012 we found out on the 30th that my FIL has dementia. He has been poorly for a while but the symptoms have increased dramatically recently. Of course we are all gutted and there are all sorts of other complications as well as they were due to move to a new area and have exchanged contracts on the house (but not completed).Of course a new area would be terrible for him and they are away from all support. 

Prob a good idea we are pp tx for this month.

I feel rather un-prepared for tx to be honest. Any tips on what I should be doing ladies?

Anyway, am exhausted so off to bed.

Love to all xx


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## Katie4

Chris- choc cake and icing should be ok in the fridge shouldn't it? That said I tend to stick to basic cream cheese based icing (am no expert baker!) and so the cakes have to go in the fridge. And cheese and biscuits sounds perfect. Hope you've had that injection and manage to get to bed before 12. 

Shrimper, so sorry about your FIL. And as for pre-treatment, erm I'm no expert but general stuff like no alcohol, cutting back on caffeine, preg vitamins, gentle exercise..are all a good place to start. 

Dh sorted the garage out this morning (at last ) so have spent a lot of time cleaning baby paraphernalia today. There's so much equipment! Oh and painting walks with the 20+ paint samples we have bought between us as the decorators are in a week today to do all of downstairs (omg!!!)


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## chrisgib

Katie - ah, I've done cream cheese too! I've made a fabulous 3-tier carrot cake too which looks great - made it loads of times before and is scrummy. Idea is that the adults have the carrot one and the kids eat the chocolate one - hmm, I have a feeling we'll all be on carrot!

Yes, done my jab - have to do it around 7ish every evening so feel free to nag me. 

Shrimper - goodness, what an end to the year for you. So sorry about your FIL, hopefully now diagnosed they can offer him some treatment. Do you think they should look to move in the same area now then, what a bummer that they've exchanged - is there a big chain behind them? Any way out of the sale? - how bad is the dimentia, could they claim they didn't have capacity to sign? Don't mean to be insulting, just trying to find a solution, even if it means using the bad news to their advantage.

Right - off for an early night tonight, have to be up early to make sandwiches!

Christine
xx


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## Dannii_Doots

wishing you all a very happy new year 

up late tonight, preparing for j's birthday tomorrow (well today as its after twelve) 
nine already! goodness were does the time go??


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## Katie4

Happy birthday j and h!!!

Hope you all have wonderful days today.  x x


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## PocketRocket

Hi everyone,

Happy Birthday to the little 'uns    although all this talk of cakes is doing no good for my healthy start to 2012   

Shrimper - Sorry to hear about your FIL    My nan has been diagnosed with vascular dementia too and it is heartbreaking to see    Sounds as though you aren't in the 'right place' for tx at the moment so you're probably doing the right thing in postponing it. I think if your head is ready then your heart and body will be too   

Chris - Glad to hear the jabs are going well so far    Can you believe you're on the rollercoaster again? Still, this is the 'easy' part, hey?!   

Katie - I'm with you on the whole 'sorting things'! Trying desperately to clear the spare room in order to prepare it for LO to move into but it still remains a dumping ground and I seem to be getting nowhere fast!! Our trip to IKEA last week wasn't awfully successful which has only added to the disorganisation   

MM - Great to hear LO is doing well   

Hi to everyone else   

AFM, not much to report, just trying to get sorted before I start back at work tomorrow    Xmas decs down, washing on the go, tidying and hoovering underway - all with a miserable winter cold which is making my head even more fuzzy than it is usually    Aaah well, the show must go on   

Lots of Love to you all xxx


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## Katie4

Hope the celebrations are going well. An just waiting for ng to go quiet and then I can crawl into bed for a nap! Had about 5 hours last night and that was in two blocks. Am quite excited about nursery and work- a whole day of peace and quiet at home! 

FIL came over and helped dh sort the lights so we are back to full working order and the house is like a bomb site! dh is much happier though and has suggested we might need a new changing bag-personally I'm happy with the old one, worn but functional but he said its embarrassing lol and maybe I should get another...I said it would be £80 (might as well push my luck) and he wasn't phased- think we live on different financial planets. I'm about to get smp for a year and so feel guilty about any unwarranted spending (food shopping and petrol are just so expensive aren't they?!) but he thinks £80 on a nappy bag is ok? Part of me can't face even looking- it took me forever to find that one and yes I could buy the same again but I'm a girl- a new bag is a new bag! It needs time and consideration!

Right off to tell ng to stop shouting and go to sleep! Think we are on the verge of losing this nap- hopefully nursery will tire her out more than we do and we can eek it out a bit longer!


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## chrisgib

....and relax!

Thanks all for your kind wishes re todays party. We survived, and I think it went well - I tend to only enjoy these things in hindsight! It was all over so quickly, but I know Holly had a great time so that's all that matters really. So tomorrow, she's celebrating her real birthday with just family, so think it will be a nice day together as DH has the day off work too. She had some good presents today - roller skates(!), basketball hoop for the garden, normal books and games etc. She's a lucky girl. 

Big happy birthday to J for today. Tell me, what do 9 year old girls like to do? Do they let boys come to their party?

PR - yes this is defo the easy bit of tx!  Hope your cold goes soon. Assume you just work one day this week? Do you know when you'll be finishing work?

Katie - can't believe NG is still napping, you lucky thing. Saying that, once gone, it's much easier to plan the day. Are you hoping she keeps the nap until after the baby arrives? Hope you get lucky! Have you chosen a nice changing bag? What sort do you like?  I had several as they never seemed quite big enough, but my favourite was a big Boden one - not sure if they still do them though. You probably pack much lighter than I did! What are you doing buggy wise - buggy board?

Hope you've all had a good day. Back to the old routine now I guess.   

Christine
xxx


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## Katie4

roller skates....     glad it went so well and H had such a terrific time. Well done Chris. Injection time in 20 mins hun  

Not had a chance to even think about a new bag. The thought of searching actually puts me off   and no, ours wasn't big enough - ever, well until she was about 2 and a half    I'd like to try and use the reflux excuse (so 10 bibs and 3+ outfits wherever we went) but I think I'll be just the same this time - here's hoping this LO skips the reflux though. And I do know what you mean about being able to plan the day more if they don't nap but she had two hours this afternoon so guess there's still a need for it. And am desp hoping it carries on another few months   and we finally decided to just try a buggy board - but I have two tandems I like, thoroughly researched  , ready to be ordered at a moment's notice if it doesn't work out but in truth, now she has a bike I'm hoping our little trips to the local park will be manageable. The baby is also getting her a big girl's pram and I think she will be as happy pushing that as she loves taking her little pushchairs out. 

Right, got to get ironing and sort out work and nursery clothes for everyone. 

Oh, and I think I may finally have made a decision about the delivery - taking everything into consideration, particularly the fact that I inisisted my consultant record in my notes I could have a section next time as without it we would not even try again, (nearly 3 months after I'd had NG), because I'd still not recovered, the fact that 12 months after that I requested a copy of my notes as I was still unhappy and haunted by it all and then I had counselling prior to dh even agreeing to trying again (2 years on from it all) I think, despite my trying to be brave, I have to acknowledge that I am and have been traumatised by what happened, especially the prolonged recovery, and so that means, for once, I'm going to give myself permission to be kind to myself and go for a section. It's weird, I have no opinions on what anyone else decides or wants for their labours but for me I felt I "should" try naturally. And, it makes me sad that I won't be giving it a go, but I simply cannot face the gamble of that prolonged miserable recovery. Bizarre really, I'm opting for an operation to prevent that but I had a tough time and although I know there are risks I trust my consultant and we'll manage them as best we can (whilst keeping all fingers and toes crossed) - thank you to all of you for sharing your experiences, loads of questions to follow I'm sure.


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## Twopence

Hi Ladies

Glad all the parties are going well and birthday celebrations!! three and nine, seems like forever until DD will be there but then again she is 2 very soon and that has flown by!!

Chris - did you jab? Thanks for the advice re saying about dementia and signing. I asked DH about it and he said thanks but the property is owned by MIL, not FIL and so that would not work   There is not a huge chain around them so will just wait to see what the chap says tomorrow. If they move to a new area as the dementia gest worse he wont know where he is, they have no friends AT ALL in that area and his driving licence is being taken away and he was going to be driving MIL to work and back. He is already forgetting the area he has lived in for thirty years   

PR - thanks, you are right. We arent in the right place so will pp to next month. Looking for a move at the moment so hoping that takes our minds off it. Where would you recommend in Herts? There is another Herts meet up on the 19th Jan if you fancy it?

Katie - good for you. Someone I know has just done the same after a traumatic delivery last time. She walked into the ward (as part of these refresher courses) and when she heard the gas and air pumps she just totally freaked out as it all came back to her. You have made the right decision for yourself.

Hi everyone else, am off to try and get an early night but got AF pains (and the witch isnt even hear yet) so not sure how much sleep i will get   

Love to all xx


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## Katie4

Oh shrimper, what a very sad time for you all. How old is your FIL? And your poor MIL, so so tough. Could they go through with the sale/purchase and just sell it again immediately? I know they'd lose money, urgh, complications you don't need right now. 

Thanks for the comment about your friend. I actually went back to the room I laboured in- totally by coincidence, my friend was 26 weeks and they thought she was in prem labour and of the 7 free rooms that was where we ended up. The whole thing was so scary I had v little time to process the impact but suspect I was quite shell shocked. I still have my little fantasy of spontaneously labouring at home, getting to hosp at 9cm (less than an hour later!)and landing an amazing miracle mw who can somehow protect my lady bits and keep us both safe and heading home later that day....

Ive got a tens machine on order! Hire only...bet I don't cancel it!


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## fingersxed

Hi Ladies,
Happy New Year to you all   
Back from Scotland now - a bit of a bumpy flight with all the wind   

Katie - I think you're making the right decision. I had a csec and was out after two nights and walking the dog (slowly) the next day. The trick is to try not to over do it - and when you do and it starts hurting - STOP! My change bag came with my buggy which took the pain out of choosing one!!
Shrimper - So sorry to hear about your FIL it's such a horrible illness.   Could they rent out their new home and rent something where they live now? 
Christine - Hope you're remembering your tx - good luck with it   
Pocket - Hope you're feeling better. Are there any moves you can try to shift your placenta - headstands or something   only joking hunni! Take it easy and try not to worry   
MM - glad lo is doing well. It's terrible when they are poorly - you feel so helpless.
Sorry if i've missed anyone -   
Here's hoping everyone's 2012 is fabulous!
FX


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## chrisgib

Hi all,

I wrote a long post to you all last night, but lost it and got in mood!  So I'll try again tonight - but it might seem a bit bitty.

So then - it's been mighty quiet - are you all OK?

Katie - any progress finding the perfect changing bag?    Orla Kiely does a nice one in John Lewis! Your comment about the tens machine made me chuckle - always best to have options open!   

Pocket - the weeks are flying past - how are you feeling? Is school a bit better this term? 

Fingersxed - glad you had a safe flight, must have been a bit hairy - how was sunny Scotland, hope you had a good xmas.

Shrimper - how are you doing hun? Any progress on the house move dilemma for your inlaws? 

MM - how are you? Hope everything is becoming 'normal' again.

I've been going round in circles this week, as a job has been advertised that would be brilliant - really close to home, and great salary - but it's full time. For a moment, i thought it would still be a goer - but it breaks my heart to think of leaving Holly at home with a nanny, or at full time nursery. Mad really, in a year or two she'll be skipping off to school without a second thought, but maybe I should just hope that a similar job comes up then.  Why don't decent part time jobs exist (unless you're already an employee)?  This is a much more tempered logical version that what I typed last night on this bit! The income would make such a difference, but I keep telling myself that Holly doesn't give a stuff about nice holidays etc - She's just as happy at the park, so long as me and DH are there too. 

Do any of you work full time?  Is it a nightmare, or do you feel happy and fulfilled?! (I think I want you to say it's awful!)

Holly will be starting pre-school in April (just the 15 hours that are paid for) - I have grand plans of getting fit and being a domestic goddess.   On the other hand, it would be nice to feel employable again.

Sorry - going round in circles again.

love to you all   

Christine

ps - Finished all my tablets now and so far have remembered all my jabs, thanks to you all, blood test isn't until the 16th though so got ages to go still before it gets exciting.


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## Monkeymoo

hi chris and everyone else.
Evetything back to 'noral' here apart from lo waking in the night. Easily settled with dummy but i take longer to go back to sleep and then i'm up for work so no chance for a sneaky nap later. Hopng it's teething and will settle down soon.
After my maternity leave was up i started back full time and straightaway cut my hours down, then dropped a half day and then al our hours were cut by a half day. Money is a little tight but having time with lo is worth it. Luckily dh is house hubbie so i don't need to worry about a nanny. I think i'l probably reconsider my hours once lo gets older. Still hoping i'll have a miracle before then so i can consider quitting work for a while. Hating where i work at the minute but struggling to find anything as good


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## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

It has been quiet on here hasn't it?! I do think about you all often though even if my posts aren't as regular as they could be   

Katie - So glad you've finally come to a decision about the delivery... I think the fact that you have made the decision final now is probably half the weight off your mind! It's the thinking part that sometimes is the hardest, IYKWIM! Please do not feel bad either way - no one will think any less of you for having a csection (although I totally understand and empathise with your thoughts of 'should try naturally') and ultimately you need to make the choice that you feel is going to be best for you and your family - risks will always be present regardless of which delivery you go for. It's funny really... my DH works with lots of South Africans and the 'done thing' out there is a c-section... they would not even consider delivering naturally! They think us British are weird for giving birth the natural way!!    BTW, I am wanting to get a new changing bag and I am getting very excited about it    Sad I know! Let me know of any ones you recommend    Have you ordered a double buggy at all or will you not really need one with NG the age she is?

Chris - Glad the tablets are done and the jabs are being remembered    Do let us know how you get on with your blood tests... only a week to go! 
I can understand your worries about work - it's just so hard isn't it? I don't work full time but I can assure you it would be horrific    I'm a bit of a stickler for being a stay at home mum, but it's probably wrong of me to say that as I know that in this country some people have no choice but to work and be parents. I have no intention of returning to work after Number 2 (at least not for a few years anyway) but I am very lucky in that DH has a decent wage and although it'll be a struggle and we may have to forgo a few treats and trips away, it'll be worth being at home with our miracles. On a basic note - we've been through all this hassle to have kids, why the bloody hell should someone else have the privilege of bringing them up?? So if you want to work part time only then do it - these years are too precious to miss   
(Sorry - you got me on a rant there!!   )

MM - Glad that everything is back to normal with you despite LO waking in the night!   

FX - Glad to hear you had a great time in Scotland    I bet it was freezing up there wasn't it?! I've only ever been to Edinburgh and I loved it there... such a fantastic place - but waaaaay too chilly for me!!! No, no tricks re: placenta that I've heard of    but TBH I'm ok about it atm - what will be will be   

Shrimper - Did AF arrive eventually?    Hope you are well and happy   

Dannii - Hope you have recovered from the celebrations!!   

To anyone I have missed   

AFM, not much to report really - feeling a little 'flat' today    DH has left this morning to go to South Africa for a week with work    I hate it when he goes away... I'm sure the week will fly by but all the same just feeling a little sorry for myself    Think I've also got the Sunday blues as it's 'properly' back to work tomorrow    Have managed to get everything organised for me and LO for the next two days so hopefully that should take the pressure off being a single parent for a bit!!    The good thing is that hopefully the two days should go relatively quickly (just hope the days themselves aren't too horrific   ) and my mum is coming up on Wednesday to keep us company and help me out    We are still getting F's new big boy room ready so that's my project atm - Mum's doing the wallpaper on Thursday and carpet being fitted Friday    Just not quite sure where we are putting to put all of our stuff that was in the spare room   

Lots of Love to you all xxx


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## Twopence

Hi Ladies

Sorry I have been AWOL for a bit. We have obviously had a lot going on and then AF arrived and my best mate had baby number 2 and now another friend is off to have her C-sec tomorrow and I am feeling a bit sorry for myelf. Started crying yesterday and DD found me and just looked at me and gave me the most amazing cuddle and said 'mummy not be sad anymore'. All day long after that she kept checking I wasnt sad anymore. I jusy dont think I could adore her anymore bless her heart. It makes me feel so guitly to want more, like she isn't enough and yet she is so perfect. 

Anyway, enough about me. Thanks for your thoughts re FIL. The buyer of their house wouldnt delay but is letting them rent their old houe off him for a month (he would have lost his mortgage deal) and they have had an offer accepted in their original home town so wont be moving away now. 

Katie - glad you made your decision. No advice re bags I am afraid though. I just go for the cheaperst   

Chris - well done on the remembering!! Are you all recovered from the toddler party?? DD is two next weekend but we are doing a party in the summer. There is a little place she loves to go to only open in the summer so we'll take her friends there and hopefully FIL will be sorted.

PR - DH will be back before you know it and all your project will be done ready for him to see!! Enjoy doing it all 

MM - I feel your pain with the working. I am also PT but would love to be at home with DD. Keep dropping hints to DH but he doesnt get it! We need that bit of cash I bring in.

HI everyone else, got to go, suposed to be doing an on-line shop!!

Love to all xx


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## Katie4

Evening, 


Am still here but am a bit of an emotional wreck - mixture of tiredness (which has got to the point of me not feeling like sleep at this sort of time) and soreness (abdo pain really bad today - seeing lovely physio on Tue - at last!!!) and DH being a man (feel free to change that word to any you feel is appropriate).   


Chris well done on remembering, that is great.   


And whether you are working or not I think it's always a tough job being a mum. I hated work when I first went back and am ready to give up now for mat leave because I'm just tired and uncomfy but at the same time I do treasure the less head battering times each week i.e. when ng is in nursery and happy and I'm working from home in the peace and quiet!


Got decorators in this week so Dh has been mardy all day because he's had to do some DIY and not just please himself. Also NG has pretty much given up her daytime nap and is also being a challenge (lots of "why", "no", "your making me sad", shouting, not doing as she is told....  ) so we are all not our usual bubbly selves!!


Sorry for no more personals. Am off to try to sleep. Up early as decorators usually come around 8 and I'm rather self conscious at the mo if that makes sense?


Oh and also went to a really crap NHS antenatal class on Friday which stirred up so many emotions about NG's labour so that's also not helping. 


And of course I'm seeing my consultant on Friday to talk about everything so really if DH and I even make it midweek without getting divorce solicitors I think we will be doing well.


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## Twopence

Hi Katie - hope you have had a better day   Someone said to me at the weekend that no-one ever tells you that when you have children you suddenly end up hating the person you made them with the next five or six years!!   I can certainly relate to that sometimes. 

DH is also a pain in the   when he gets asked to do something around the house!!

Sorry about the antenatal class. My friend who I mentioned before had similar and that really triggered off her panic attacks. Today she had an elective C sec and said the whole experience was a million times better than the traumatic time she had last time (baby getting stuck for two hours etc.....) PLus as she was prepared for it she had made lots of prep at home. Hopefully you will finally get the closure you need on this ASAP as I am not 100% convinced you are fully happy/ satisfied with the decision you have made as you havent cancelled the TENS machine and are still feeling wobbly. Do you feel a bit 'guilty' about not doing it naturally? You know as well as us you shouldnt but may well feel that way and will need to work through them.

Sorry I have waffled on at you. Hope you dont think it was a lecture!! It is my rather messy attempt at trying to help.. PLease feel free to send a   back to me if it was rubbish.

Big   and hope you are feeling much better very soon.

Hi everyone else. Must be off to try and get DD to sleep. Currently upstairs singing 'head, shoulders, knees and toes' to DH. She is not even two and doesnt keep quiet. Lots of 'why'? at the moment. Loving it (mostly)   That and the 'look at meeee' as she runs past. Just the cutest   

Take care all


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## Katie4

Ooh shrimper...goosebumps at your accuracy!  I'm getting there, and helped in a weird way by the fact my pelvis has started to act up today so perhaps I do feel more "justified" although every time I hear a positive elective section story (or, a tough birth story) I feel that bit more confident. Think seeing my consultant on Friday will help. Will prob be given a date (gulp!!!!) On the TENS front, my meagre explanation is - what if I spontaneously labour before my section date? At least if I've got my tens that's covered until I get into theatre or, if my instincts say to go for it, I've got what I'd like/need....while they call the anaesthetist! 

Once again I'm overwhelemed by the support from you guys. Honestly would be lost without u all. 

Love the "look at meeeeee" x x


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## Twopence

Katie - if you do spontaneously labour before your date then they tell you to rush like merry hell into the hospital for your c section!! But you will be monitored. You need to be 100% happy with your choice. I think you know you are making the right choice FOR YOU and that is all that matters. 

No-one elses opionion is valid except yours. And to some extent that includes the positive stories you hear as you will just use them for back-up rather than make your own unique decision. Saying that, we ALL do the same, especially me so I certainly wouldnt judge and the decision is yours. 

However, there is nothing worng with a C section. Who are you worried about failing? Yourself? New baby? Society's opinions? You fail no one by making that decision and only worry yourself more the longer you hold off making whatever decision is right for you. At the end of the day, a happy mummy is more likely to be a healthy mummy and a happy mummy is what every little baby needs. When you are holding your newborn will you really care how they got there??

Sorry to bang on again. I will shut up now and leave it up to you.

The 'look at meeeee' is hilarious. She still has that toddler posture so the bum and tummy/ chest are sticking out and she justwaddles past at a higher speed than walking. She is so funny and is forever smiling and laughing. I think we could all learn a lot from that sometimes!!

DH and I had a good chat today and are going to pp tx until March's AF. We want to be sure that we are 100% happy with it and sure it is for us. It is alot of money to invest as well as the emotional pressures etc.

I am also currently feeling quite positive. I have more than I could ever have wished for sleeping in her litle cot upstairs, not under the covers with her bum stuck in the air. Why worry about what I dont have? I should be concentrating on that gorgeous little curly haired bundle upstairs who will only eat her cereal out of a pot with no milk   

Sorry for the waffle ladies. Hoping I am still feeling positive when AF shows up next month!!

Love to all as usual xx


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## chrisgib

Oh Shrimper - now you're giving me goosebumps!    All that heartfelt talk about your LO, so lovely. It's so funny how they sleep with their bum in the air. I think Holly has only recently stopped doing that!

You're so right - we are all in a very privileged place to have our No1, but we all know that it only heightens our pressure to have No2.

On the other hand - you don't have to look very far on FF to find 100's of women who haven't had the chance to have No1, they would swap places with us in an instant.

Not a day goes by that I don't thank my lucky stars for my beautiful Holly. She is the light of my life. 
I've been feeling ultra emotional today - started crying at toddler group this morning, and then again at Holly's gym class this afternoon. Think it's just an extreme case of drug induced PMT - but I so so want tx to work properly this time. Life is on hold and I really hate that. I want to feel normal again in the world, like I did from the minute I found I was pregnant with Holly. I've finally found a pre-school that I think she'll be happy at - she'll be going 5 mornings from next term - so I've also been getting upset that I'll be all lonely (and might have to go to the gym!) - I have to be careful that she doesn't start worrying about me though!!

Katie - I can't ease your conscience, but I back everything that Shrimper has said. It has to be your decision, and you must give yourself permission to make that informed choice.  No one will think any more/less of you, it's no one elses business - main thing is that babe arrives safely and you're in good shape to look after him/her.   
How's DH today? and the decorator?

Pocket - Hope your 2 days have gone OK. Mum arriving tomorrow to help I hope. When does DH get back? When is your next scan? Sorry for the interrogation!   

MM, Fingersxed -


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## Twopence

Ooops - seem to be making people goosebumpy unintentionally.

Chris - you are very right. There are so many ladies here who would swap in a heartbeat and have their little baby. 

As I said before, I have been doing a lot of soul searching and have started to look at things differently. DH and I will still try ICSI but we can only afford one go (financially) and time wise as my AMH is now very low. 

DD just brings me so much joy and I thak my lucky stars every single day. Today i picked her up from the childminder and she spent an hour playing with me and a little crappy plastic Dr set free off the cover of a comic book. She was 'listening' to my heartbeat and putting magic cream on my arm. Then i was getting nearly choked with a thermometer as she walked away with ler little plastic name badge. Sh eis just so much fantastic fun that when I focus on her and the important stuff the pain of not having no 2 eases. And that is with two of my best mates having babies in the past week.

I hope I am not sounding too much up my own   but i feel i have wasted too much time on the negative and not enough on the positive. I would still love no 2 but at the same time, no 1 is so fab I cant help but feel blessed.

Love to you all 

Katie - hope you are easing up on yourself.

xx


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## Katie4

Evening....

I think if you can find that place where happiness is the three of you you can find contentment. I have a vivid memory of a bike ride with ng and dh in April before we'd even got to a decision about ttc and know I felt totally at peace with our little family. I didn't always feel like that but just that moment it reassured me that whatever we faced the three of us would be ok, actually more than ok, happy. But you have to work through things and as I'm showing you all at the moment sometimes you go backwards rather than forwards. 

I have realised I am still sad about things that happened during and after ngs birth and even though I am grateful every day for the healthy happy child I have I also have to recognise that there was an impact on me. In an ideal world I would love to labour again, have a healthy baby and come home with my body in decent working order but, having experienced a lengthy recovery which challenged my happiness and made me visit my consultant 11 weeks after she was born to demand that she wrote in my notes a section next time I need to be kind to myself and take away that specific risk this time. It's hard because all the section stats and risks seem to have come to the forefront and I feel guilty for asking for one when i dont medically need one and for putting us all through something technically more risky when there's a chance I could have a nice labour, healthy baby and healthy body.... However perhaps I need to recognise that all this angst actually isn't normal and represents the reason why I need a section (or sectioning! Lol) 

Just to add to all this, having not been through a section I'm of course worried about it in a basic fear of the unknown way. 

Oh and am seeing my consultant this Friday so just worried about how it will all go. 

Shrimper I loved the bum in the air story and that she's given you a thorough examination today. 

And Chris, bless you on the tears, I'm so emotional I can cry at anything. Great news about pre school, it will be good for you both (and you can always skive the odd morning for a mummy day!) 

Sorry for the me post x


----------



## Katie4

Ps dh was being a man but then after a huge row came and talked to me and listened and said all the things you have said so he's off the hook for now! 

Btw Chris, did dh sort out getting his car mended?


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Hope you are all ok today   

Shrimper - It sounds to me as though you are in a great place right now    Go with it - you are appreciating your life and your little miracle and there is certainly nothing wrong with that! I know exactly what you mean about being fed up with focussing on the negative all the time - the positive needs some time too    It's funny actually, my mum said to me the other day that despite being incredibly lucky with tx, our focus since we found out about our IF in November 2008 has been our lives and totally all consuming. Don't get me wrong, I thank my angels everyday for the little pickle who scuttles off when I mention the word 'nappy' and refuses to eat his dinner    and the second blessed miracle that is growing inside me still never ceases to amaze me...  but IF and tx really does stop you from living a 'normal' life. You are totally consumed by it all - the tx, the emotions, the uncertainty and fear of the future - and to have some release from that can only be of benefit to you. Sounds to me like you are having some release from that and when you do go for tx in March, it means you'll be ready for it   

Katie - Remind me again when your due date is? Sorry that the delivery is still causing you so much distress    The anticipation of something so big is often very frightening, especially if you only have a negative experience to fall back on. Don't beat yourself up for having these feelings and emotions... I think you are perfectly entitled to be experiencing them!!

Chris - Your teary moments made me smile - not meaning that to sound cruel!!! Only because your story reminded me of myself    I remember (one of many times!) struggling to hold the tears back when I took F to a music class when he was 7 months old... I was watching him bashing a tambourine and just being so overwhelmed by the love I felt for him - I just never thought it was possible to love someone so much that it made me ache   I was willing to take bets that I loved my boy more than anyone else in the room loved their kids!! Ridiculous as that's so not the case but you know what I mean   You're not alone in being an emotional wreck - we all are!!! 
In answer to your 'interrogation' (haha - I didn't take it that way!) , my two days at work weren't so bad thanks.. tiring being a single working parent but I managed    I am just hoping that I avoid a due OFSTED visit before my mat leave starts at Easter - but I was lucky enought to escape the last one... I doubt I'll be as lucky again    Mummy is arriving today which I am looking forward to - evenings are so boring without at least one of my boys around!! DH is back on Saturday morning which will be lovely as I am missing him.
My next scan isn't until 26th March and apparently it's an internal one to check the position of my placenta - the sonographer broke the news of an internal scan to me very gently as if I was going to worry about it.. I was like 'Have you read my notes on our conception, woman?! I've had more internal scans than you've had hot dinners!'   

MM, FX -   

Right, I'd better get in the shower before my little man wakes up and demands that we 'do wunning' (running races) and watch 'Bider' (spider - he means Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom - he saw one episode with a spider in it and so that is what it is now called   )

Lots of Love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Hello!! A much more upbeat Katie tonight! Sorry if I got a bit deep last night, suppose I was trying to say I do understand the emotional turmoil of the "after one..do we face trying for 2" decision. 

Pocket, ooh hope you do miss the inspection, although of its pending I imagine you'll have to help with the prep even if you miss the event? (assuming schools do prep ?!  ) and bless your sonographer! 

Think I'm ready now for my meeting on Friday and am at the most comfortable I've been with my decision. Thanks ever so much girls, posting is v v therapeutic. Hope I can help you guys as much as you help me x


----------



## Monkeymoo

Pocket you made me smile about the internal scan. I sometimes feel like i've had the whole world look up there so it always makes me chuckle when i go to see nurse at gp's and she's talking me through what will be happening 
hi everyone, hope you are all ok. Hugs to anyone who needs one. 
I've been taking a little time out for myself lately. Had my haircut and started a zumba class. Had lots of visits to gp about lo and being referred to some new specialists. Feeling really positive about it all as me and dh feel we're going in the right direction to get some answers.


----------



## Tillypops

Just thought I'd pop in to let you know that FF is 10 years old today!! There is a party tonight in the chatroom from 8-10pm for any of you that are interested!

Tilly
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Hope you are all doing ok my lovely ladies. Had appointment today. All sorted. Guess she realised I'd given it more than a moments thought! Can honestly say I feel more relaxed than I have done for a long long time. Although dh kindly said- well we'd better hope nothing kicks off early on- cheers darling!!! As one of you said, if that does happen we go straight to hospital for assessment and make the decision at that point but there's no reason it should other than LO deciding themselves to make an exit! So, tens machine order is on hold...do I cancel? Ng was bang on for dates and I was 2cm already when they did the sweep so I'd be floored if this one comes early. The section date allows a decent gap from edd but then if it all kicked off and someone was in theatre already would I feel lost without a tens machine? Hmm honestly I am so useless at making decisions, I've only hired it so it's only £23 wasted potentially.... Let's have a vote- 

Now then, in my self absorbed section state I've neglected everyone so let's try some personals:

Danni, how are things with you all? Roxie fully recovered? Dd happy at school? Hope you and dh are ok.

Monkey So glad your gp is being thorough about your LO. And good for you on the mummy time out stuff. I'd love to try Zumba but I'm not v coordinated and could easily cause someone some harm!

Pocket - Any news on ofsted? How's your bump coming along? What does your LO think of it all? 

Shrimper- what have you guys been up to this week? 

Chris- how are you feeling? Still welling up with pride  what's your next milestone? A scan this week coming?

Loulou, still thinking of you sweetie x 

Lyns, and you hun, hoping your little man is helping you back on your feet

Fingers crossed - Howe things with you? 

Now I absolutely know I've not got everyone - sorry! Am on phone in car parked in my own drive as ng nodded off just as we turned into our road and I'd rather she had half an hour than was a total rat bag all evening! Also we've got the decorators in and every drying minute counts before little hands come home! 

What's everyone's weekend plans? I'm going for a pedicure tomorrow morning (such a luxury!) and then we've a 3 year old bouncy castle and soft play party tomorrow afternoon - about 30 kids apparently! Am dragging dh (and going to enjoy every minute! He always gets away with not coming !) 

Hugs to you all and thank you once again for your wise and kind words and for your patience! 

K x


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Katie - so glad your appointment went well, sounds like it's helped really clear things in your head. Saying that, and having some idea how you operate - I'd still keep the tens machine - otherwise you'll only worry about the 'what if's'. Peace of mind is worth £23!  

We're in party season too, although loads of Holly's friends parents aren't doing anything - is that normal?!   
Guess it depends on the child, but I know Holly loves her parties and she talks about them for months before and months after.   Hope the bouncy castle party goes well tomorrow.

I'm still injecting - haven't forgotten yet, but might do tonight as DH won't be home at the normal time - someone remind me at about 9pm!!  Blood test is on Monday - weirdly, i thought it was Wednesday, but all being well I'll start stimming on Wednesday. Still haven't lost any weight though - rubbish.   

As for the job thing - been properly talked out of applying full time. So will just have to continue living on fresh air for now.   

Hi to everyone -   .

Christine
xxxx


----------



## chrisgib

Me again - DH just texted to say he'll be out until late, so not only am I going to have to learn how to prepare my own injection (never done it before on this cycle, or even watched) but on top of that - DH will inevitably have a skinfull of beer, so the cycle is doomed.            

Men - they're so annoying. They don't have to do much in this whole process really do they.

Katie - forgot to answer your question about his car. Woman who drove in to him is still lying to the insurers, so in the end we had to use our insurance to get it fixed (£18k worth of damage!) Insurance are pursuing her to recover the costs hopefully, as it all affects our premiums/excess etc - so annoying that people can blatantly lie - she's saying he drove in to her (on his side of the road!)

Better go - chat later.   

Christine
xx


----------



## Katie4

Know I'm v late now but hope the injection went ok and dh isn't in the dog house? Cannot believe that lady lying to the insurance company. How awful. And it must be a v pretty car indeed if it was worth repairing £18,000 worth of damage! 

Ng is v v v into parties too- couldn't not have one for her. Has felt rather expensive this time though but then I've picked a big church hall so we can have a 15ft bouncy castle for 14 kids...I'm scared of b castles when they are too rammed! We've also bought plastic party plates and bowls and platters in the hope we can re-use them. My huge indulgence though has been a cylinder of helium and balloon weights! Lol ill prob screw it up and lose loads! we also picked up some v bright fairy lights on 3 for 2 which will be our "disco"!!! I figured we've a lot of winter birthday parties ahead of us so discos at 3pm will work!

Your comment about the tens made me laugh...  

Right, hoping for some sleep. Have had a blissful five and a half hours already and the night is young, I might get another 3 at this rate 

X


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

How are you all? 

Katie - Glad you are feeling relaxed about everything now    I agree with Chris... keep the TENS for now - £23 for that reassurance is not wasteful! Besides, you forget who you are chatting to on here - girls who've spent thousands on tx and cycles.. £23? A drop in the ocean    And if it makes you feel more at ease, then there is no question that you should keep it on order. In answer to your question, bump is getting bigger by the day - starting to feel a bit slow and heavy now! F doesn't really understand what is going on - he's just that bit too young I think. Well, if he does understand then he has no interest    

Chris - Can't believe that lady/DH's car. Things like that make me so angry and really upset me   You've been good to remain so patient! Good decision about living on fresh air/no full time job by the way   And I'm with you about men not having to do much in the whole tx thing too    Good job really though... they wouldn't do it properly   

Thanks also for the discussion on birthday parties! F is two in April and I am stuck for what to do. Last year we just got away with having a few family round and going out for a lunch but not sure I can do that again this year! DH and I don't really want to have a party at our house as it's not massive (besides, I would be totally on eadge that it would get trashed!!) so am uming and ahing over hiring a soft play place or hall or something... It's just the cost that makes me a bit wary    but then I guess it takes the stress out of it all when it's done for you!! Plus I'll be rather large and immobile by then so the easy option has got to be the best option!!

AFM, DH came back from South Africa today - it's really nice to have him home. Especially as he brought back with him a specially made sparkling brilliant cut diamond ring for me!!!    I might let him go away more often   
F's bedroom is underway - my mum came up and wallpapered it for me this week and we've had the carpet put down... just the furniture to put together and our room to sort out now    All the crap from the spare room/F's new room is sat at the bottom of our bed - not good feng shui!!!   

Pocket xxxx


----------



## Katie4

For ngs 2nd we went to a pub with a soft play zone, it cost £8 per child plus £25 for exclusive use for an hour which was worth it as they were so little. The cost included a 2 course lunch which was ok and the parents could pick their childs meal and they also supplied l a party bag but I did my own as well. We only had 7 or 8 children and I also bought a cake. Hassle free, worked really well for us. Others last year included a mad triple party for three children aged 2 with an entertainer, was chaos! A leisure centre soft play and bouncy castle party (v good- just check out the castle first as this one had a slide perfect for 3 year olds but too hard for 2 year olds to climb) and a lunch date in a brewers fayre with a small soft play which was brilliant. The mum paid for lunch and brought a cake and choc buttons. Simple, relatively cheap and great fun! 

Thanks for tens advice...you are right, I'm just now terrified I might have to use it - lol I've come full circle!!!  

Can we have some more details about this ring please? I can't tell you how much I'd love dh to do something so amazingly romantic and especially involving diamonds. I'm desperate for a pair of solitaire studs- think it might be when I'm 40! 

Think it might be bedtime....


----------



## PocketRocket

Ah some more good ideas re: birthday parties! Thanks    I really need to have a good think about what to do!   

Of course you'll go from decision to decision about the birth time and time again... but I'm hoping and praying that the anticipation you are feeling will be much worse than the actual experience    I have every faith you will be fine, but after your horrid recovery with NG it's only natural you should be anxious   

My ring is quite plain and simple but very pretty! Similar style to an engagement ring, white gold, thickish band with a hexagon shaped diamond in the middle! DH mentioned a while ago that he might get me a diamond whilst he was out there (soooo much cheaper than here obviously) so I guess it's kind of an eternity ring. Think it's a whole 'thanks for going thru tx/having one child/carrying another' type thing - bless his heart. He tricked me into thinking he had been too busy to get hold of it - but I knew how much hassle he had gone to in order to organise it prior to his arrival so did think he might be having me on    I do feel very lucky and spoiled   

I'm thinking I might head off to bed soon too - my BF asked me to go out for her birthday meal tonight but felt bad about buggering off after DH had been away for a week... also knew I couldn't hack the pace and would be ready for bed right about... now!!! 

PR xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Ooh sounds beautiful. Dh said to me simply "you're having a year off"! When I suggested he might want to get me diamonds after the next birth! Ah yes, that continuing 24 hour shift that lasts 366 days (leap year this year!) I think he'd want more than diamonds lol

Didn't make it to bed till now as was too busy writing a cleaning list. And a birthday Present list (to buy). And a general to do list. OCD anyone!!

Night night 

Ps we are still struggling for boys names (girls names come easier!) but I can't search any more - we need some kind of inspirational intervention by fate!


----------



## chrisgib

Ooooo - Pocket - diamonds!  How very lovely, you lucky thing. Sounds like your DH has gone to a lot of effort to get the right one for you - it sounds gorgeous.    Sounds like your house is really up together too - that must feel nice, especially with the nesting hormones kicking in. 

Katie - I could do with you writing a few lists for me too - I used to love doing them, but have got out of the habit recently.  So then, once the lists are complete - do you delegate, or are you doing it all yourself?  Can't believe you've only got a few weeks left, where did that time go - very excited for you. Have you finished work now?  Is NG staying in nursery while you're on maternity leave?  As for boys names, we always struggled with those too - although we did find out at the scan that we were having a girl, so it took the pressure off! Local names with me are Redford (Holly's beloved) his sister is Harper if you're wondering! Others are Joseph, James, Lawrence, Edward, Stanley and Wilfred.  Tricky one though - boys are impossible. 

DH and I went out for dinner last night - it was lovely. We had a Groupon voucher for a swanky restaurant in town, so met a couple of friends there. Felt very grown up, although I was the only one without a job to talk about - does make my contribution somewhat limited. Anyway, no-one was really drinking so that was good on my account, food delicious. Of course Holly had played up for the inlaws and cried real tears, as she puts it!

Monkeymoo - so glad things are going right for you. Tell me more about Zumba - is it really full on?

Lyns, Loulou - miss you guys - hope you're OK.   

FXd, Dannii, Shrimper - hope you're having a good weekend.   

Chat later I hope.

Christine
xxx


----------



## Twopence

HI All

Just a quickie as supposed to be doing tons of other stuff after a very busy birthday weekend for DD. She had a fab time yesterday with all the family (DH and I didnt) and a lovely day today at the paradise wildlife park. We are all pooped.

No party this year as last year she had a lady come and do singing for her and her little friends which she loved but with all the (now pp'd tx and FIL) stuff going on we didnt get round to anything. She loved her weekend though and was spoilt rotten. So funny blowing out the candles, she did it before we'd even finished singing!!

Katie - glad the app went well

Chris - how did the injection go?

PR - coming to the meet up on Thurs? We looked at Hertford today as a potential place to move to! Any tips? 

MM - glad you are getting things straight re LO and having some mummy time.

Dannii - how are you doing?

Hi everyone else 

Must dash, promise to be better next time

Love Shrimper xx


----------



## chrisgib

Happy Birthday to Little Shrimper. Glad she's had a lovely weekend. As for parties - don't beat yourself up, you've had more than enough on your plate.   

My injection went fine thanks - it's purely out of principle that I've refused to prepare any - reckon he has to do something to stay involved with it all, before his real bit anyway!

Anyone else watching The Midwife on BBC1?  

Hope you've all had a good weekend.   

Christine
xx


----------



## Monkeymoo

Hi all, hope you've had a good weekend. Just a quickie as i'm shattered today even tho' i haven't done much. My boss who left for maternity leave at christmas went into hospital friday as her waters had broke but she wasn't having contractions. So i'm expecting birth announcement tomorrow and then the 'visit' to the office. All of which i'm looking forward and hoping everything is going well for her with the birth etc but can't help feeling just a tad jealous it's not me. Just keep telling myself i've had my time and it will come round again.
chris the zumba i go to isn't too bad and it's more about getting your blood pumping than fancy dancing. No pressure to followthe instructor on the more enrgetic bits which is good because half the class is over sixty


----------



## Katie4

Wow shrimper, getting on at all over a birthday weekend is   sounds like a lovely birthday party idea too. 


Chris, give me some topics I'll do your lists!   Although I rarely delegate as (I know this will be a big shock) I struggle to release control    I'm still working for another two weeks but have cut down to 2.5 days from 3 so do tue and thur all day and friday till 1pm. And I'm only in the office once in that time, and that's to take cakes and say        (can anyone tell I'm on the laptop instead of my phone?! I've got emoticon overload!) Sounds like your meal out was nice. Work talk is v boring...glad you've made a decision about a job too that you are happy with.    Very much appreciate the local boys names. And good for you making him get involved. DH and I were talking today about my next hospital appt..I'll be a v big lady by then and might not be able to get myself there by car and he was erm let's say less than productive in coming up with ideas about how we would manage it. (By asking for help from his parents who are more than happy to and generally do v little because we don't ask!)


PR you still admiring your rock?!   Hope you and DH are still all loved up, usually after the first 24 hours of being back together dh and I row as he goes back to his normal status of doing v little!  


Monkey how's the sleeping now? We had a nap this afternoon, was v much enforced after a long slog at the park and lunch but so worth it. I'm dreadful though, I fall asleep too and set my alarm so we limit it to an hour and I have never ever got up at that point so we both have two hours, feel great but then she's still awake now..she's as good as gold though and just plays but it feels a bit wrong (perhaps I have european blood, I've always thought siestas were so civilised) and I have no idea how this will all work in 6 weeks or so    As for your boss hun, you'll manage and your turn will come when it's right for you and your little family.   


AFM, well I think I have let the side down girls   having been given a free rein to order a new change bag I have scoured the internet, ummed and ahhed over two and ended up buying the same one again   I was never going to go bonkers and splash more than £80 and I'd looked at so many last time and it lasted so well that I just couldn't resist. I got it for £61 incl delivery too which was such a bargain! And it goes with the pram, is fine for DH to carry and wipes clean really well. (I had my eye on one in the same style but a black quilt which was lovely but I'm sure a couple of spilled drinks/episodes of vomit would have left it looking trashed!) 


So that is off the list. However, we now have to get a new stair and landing carpet....when we got back on Friday night the decorators were just leaving and when we went upstairs we spotted about 8 dark black oily marks on the carpet. They'd tried to get one out and smudged it...sigh. So I'm delegating this one to DH (because I always deal with the fall out from work men so it's his turn) so he can call the boss and get him out to see it. It's not a massive job but I'll be they can't get it up without marking the walls/woodwork that's just been painted...and oh DH is even less decisive than I am at the mo so we could be in a carpet shop for 3 days before making a decision  (Now you know why we are where we are on names!)


Right off to do some more things on "the list"


Night night x


----------



## Katie4

the decorators have gone!!! And he managed to clean the stair carpet so no new carpet needed. Phew. I've started to clean my kitchen in celebrations - and realised the oven needs professional help and as much as I love Oven Pride (honestly it's my favourite cleaning product!  ) I think now is not the time to be hovering over a dirty oven! Work tomorrow for me - boo!! Am very much switched off these days as soon as I shut my laptop down. Still only 10 more days to go and have a certain little girl's party to prep for  . 


Chris, when do you get your blood results? Did it all go OK today? Does H go with you? 


Last day of the week for PR tomorrow  


How's everyone else? Any more LO's birthdays this week?


Right, best go to bed, had a rubbish night's sleep last night and it's been a long day as we had to be out all day because the house was freezing as we stupidly decided to have our front door painted in the middle of winter...


----------



## chrisgib

Katie - phone Oven Gleam - they're amazing - pricey but worth every penny!  

Yes had bloods done this morning - but they don't give results, just phone if there's a problem, so as there's been no phone call looks like it's all systems go to start stimming on Wednesday.  Now the fun really begins.   

Very jealous of all your lovely houses being decorated. Mine is well overdue, maybe I should do it while H goes to pre-school, there again.....  I can't be trusted to do edges, just give me the roller and the middle bit!

Hope you're all OK. Sleep well tonight.   

Christine
xx


----------



## Katie4

Oh Chris, I am so with you on that. I quite like painting but do a generally crap job! And although it is undeniably lovely to have unmarked walls we all know they won't last!  so glad test went well. V excited about you stimming this week. So, dare I ask, where will that roughly put ec, ET and the 2ww? (don't answer if it's thinking too far ahead) x


----------



## chrisgib

Hmm - dates wise, first scan is on Wed 25th, so figure EC will be about the 31st, ET about the 2nd Feb, then OTD around 16th Feb. Does that sound about right? For a change, I'm not dashing off on holiday for the OTD. Spent to many weeks not drinking in St Ives, so need to make sure it's for real and for good reason next time!   

I   we get that far though. We never respond brilliantly, but somehow have made it to the finishing line previously.

We've had a lovely day today - zoo this morning, rugged up for the arctic; then gymboree this afternoon - always Holly's highlight of the week.   

Hope you've all had a good day too.

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Shrimper - Glad LO had a lovely birthday    There seems to be a party overload on this thread at atm    In my blonde pregnant state I totally forgot to pencil in 19th in my diary and so have made plans for that day    Whereabouts are you meeting? Exciting that you looked at Hertford as a place to live! Whereabouts did you look? The estate I live on is quite popular (Foxholes) if you like modern houses and plenty of them    but there are lots of nice areas... I'd say the ones to say away from are Sele Farm and Pinehurst... not the 'nicest' of clientele IYKWIM    

Chris - It sounds like all systems go with you and tx   How are you feeling about it all? In between ET/OTD is my birthday so I figured I'm going to send my birthday fairies over to you as good luck    

Katie - Am still admiring my rock but am sans DH again    as he is at a conference overnight until tomorrow then away with work at the weekend (Italy this time   ) but I guess it helps to keep the 'loved-up-ness' going - absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that    Your decorating sounds a lot further along than mine is    Got an email from IKEA saying our wardrobe isn't being delivered until a week on Saturday (as opposed to this weekend) so that's put things back a little more which is a pain    but at least it gives us longer to organise/chuck/sort etc    Hope your working week goes quickly   

MonkeyMoo - Have you heard the birth announcements yet? Hope it wasn't too bad    I remember those feelings all too well - I don't think that feeling ever leaves you   

Hope you are all ok - sorry if I have missed anyone...my brain is frazzled after two days at work   

Pocket xxx


----------



## Katie4

Ooh Chris, do you know they don't have a franchies in my area?! (the oven people that is!) Thanks for the recommendation. I've done my own all but once and the one time I had a professional clean was 2 years ago. It does irk me slightly because the shelves and door are immaculate and they really won't break a sweat doing it but I just can't reach comfortably to do the roof.

PR boo hiss to him being away again. I suppose now is better than when you are further along, and in all seriousness, I'd hope we were ahead of you on the decorating front, I'll have another little person here in less than 5 weeks   Annoying about the wardrobe though. NG's replacement bed which was due in mid December has been postponed to 23rd Jan. Don't expect it to come any time soon. Good job the other one is only faulty in that it's unattractive as they've not painted it properly or we'd be without a cot. (Actually, I don't need a cot for months but I just want everything ticked off   - talking of which the TENS machine arrived today  )

I think my baby may come out covered in chocolate or possibly wrapped in a dairy milk wrapper.   my ability to eat chocolate has reached new heights and I was pretty good at it before. It's no wonder I'm huge. I've been asked again by the nursery staff how long I've got to go and they all looked really shocked when I sais over a month. Cheeky so and sos. 

Ah my day off tomorrow. Off to the play group at the church hall where NG's party is this weekend. Need to inspect the oven    ooh Dh bought 20 skinny glow sticks for the kids at NG's party for a £1! What a bargain, shame I've not managed to secure any decent deals...must not add it all up, must not add it all up. Although the 3 bubble mats for £4 felt quite good value, they are basically bubble wrap with a picture behind and you tape them to the floor for the children to jump on. They do it at nursery with plain bubble wrap and NG loves it. (I'd have never known but something came wrapped in bubble wrap and she asked if she coud have it and then proceeded to show me what to do!)

Right, off to spend some time with my neglected fur babies


----------



## chrisgib

Pocket - are you really blonde?!  Didn't have you as a blonde - could just be your bookworm picture that's influenced that though.  

I look forward to seeing all your birthday fairies!! 

Katie - knowing you, I bet your oven doesn't even need cleaning!!  Oven gleam had their work cut out when they did mine.   Glad the tens has arrived though!   

Christine
x


----------



## PocketRocket

Haha Chris    Yes, I am blonde! Not a natural one mind, but I do frequent my hair salon every six to eight weeks for the odd highlight or two   Yet I am a bookworm too   

Katie - I'm with you on the whole overeating/unnecessary gorging thing    I just can't stop eating. Ever.

Girls, please stop with the oven cleaning talk. Mine is hideously filthy but I figured that if I close my eyes every time I open or shut it then it doesn't really exist and I therefore I don't have to deal with it. So shush   

PR xxx


----------



## chrisgib

But does the smoke alarm go off every time you switch the oven on?!


----------



## PocketRocket

Cheeky       

You're just taking advantage of the fact that you know I'm blonde now, aren't you?!!!


----------



## Katie4

Mine smells if you preheat it - I'd like to think its because my sense of smell is heightened?! Lol

Pocket, you've weeks and weeks ahead of you hun. Plenty of time  

Cuddles with fur babies achieved- tick! 

Watching biggest loser. Great programme. Will get master chef on iplayer afterwards - no doubt it will make me hungry!


----------



## Twopence

Ladies you all talk too much!!

thank you for the 'little shrimper' birthday wishes   

Not much to report here but glad to see people are chatting away and feeling pretty good. 

Wont waffle on as need to go and find DH's passport. He thinks the cleaner has nicked it as well as his NI card and wedding ring!!

love to all xx


----------



## Katie4

And is that likely or will they all be together somewhere random?! Hope it's the later.


----------



## Katie4

Random fact- you are only allowed two NI cards in your life- I had one and then requested a replacement when I got married with my new name and my purse was stolen with it in and that was it! You can't even buy one.


----------



## Monkeymoo

Hi everyone. Omg you all seem so busy and organised! I can't even be bothered to do my hair n makeup for work this morning. As for cleaning the cooker, hmmmmm i think if we cleaned it properly it would fall apart.
got the birth announcment monday and i am fine with it now, was actually worried for her over the weekend as i half expected her to end up having a section. So at the moment i'm lookin forward to the cuddles  loads of appts for lo at specialists and docs for next few weeks. So plenty of stuff to focus on.


----------



## Katie4

Glad you're ok monkey, sometimes you do take it all in your stride - and then others just always used to knock me sideways! I think I find the preg announcements Harder than the birth announcements.

Ng being polar extremes today. Enforced nap for us both v soon! 

Bubble mats arrived- what a con! Lol they are dinky. One boisterous toddler at a time me thinks! Lol

Got a birth announcement earlier- 6lb 4 at term. If the estimate I got on 23rd dec of 4lb 12 was accurate I reckon this one will be about 6lb 12 now...gulp!


----------



## Twopence

Phew - passport located (by me) just need the NI Card and wedding ring!!

They dont even issue NI cards to young 'uns these days, just a letter! I was so excited when I got mine!!

Have been on the wii fit this evening. Still not sure i rate it but it does think i have lost 4lb. According to my scales i have actually put on half a lb. KNow which ine i think is more accurate and unfortunately it isnt the kinder of the two ratings!!

Love to all xx


----------



## Katie4

Well done shrimper! I didn't know that about the cards. Believe the wii 

Got a quote for my oven -£60!!! So I've started it myself with oven pride. Hoping my cleaner will finish it off tomorrow. Won't be as good but they won't quote based on how dirty it is, only on the model which to me is bonkers as it will not take them as long to clean mine as one which is brown all over. 

Dh faced my hormonal wrath tonight. Have slogged away cleaning the kitchen and he's moaned about constructing the cotbed in the baby room as in a few months I'll want it in with me - seriously girls, it's a 20 min job and our bedroom is not big enough for a cotbed, the natures nest and the carry cot (thank god we don't have a moses basket as well!) and until the baby is here I've no idea where it will sleep. Can he not just do as I ask?! might just go over his head and get his dad to do it for me while he's at work! It's not like dh is being productive at night, he just lols about. 
(god I sound like such a cow bag! Lol)


----------



## chrisgib

You're certainly not a cow bag Katie - you just crack that whip!  These men, they know nothing do they.   

You'll end up with all these places for the baby to sleep, and then the baby will end up sleeping on you anyway! Holly refused to sleep anywhere else for the first 3 weeks - it was lovely really in hindsight, but I did sleep with one eye open.   

What's everyone up to this weekend?

I've got 2 birthday parties and H's swimming lesson today so a fun(?) day for us. Tomorrow I need to shop some more. Those of you with littlies - ELC have major reductions on craft type stuff at the moment - great for presents etc for those of you in birthday season. 

No more news from me, just keep jabbing - not long now til we know what's going on.

Christine
xx


----------



## Katie4

It's ngs party today and I'm poorly! We've all had a hideous cold but while ng and dh have got better albeit slowly I've actually got worse in last 36 hrs. Think it may be the start of tonsilitis so at 4am located  some "left over" penicillin and started taking it...wish I'd done it yesterday. Just feel crap! At least it's me and not ng nor dh! And most of the party stuff is sorted, just need to wash n chop fruit n veg and make some wraps and sarnies and the in laws are arriving in a few hours! Suppose it has been a full on few weeks ?!

Chris, two parties?! Wow. All the same children? Glad jabbing is going ok. 

Right well being ill is not drastically affecting my enormous appetite so guess im. It that ill?! Breakfast here we come. 

Happy weekend.  X


----------



## chrisgib

Oh no Katie,  hope the drugs kick in quickly and you can enjoy the party - let DH take the strain though. Have you got anyone else helping you with it?  Can the inlaws come sooner and help out, or are they coming as guests?!

You're bound to over provision on the healthy stuff so don't stress about it. Just put more crisps out!!

Will your GP go mad when you have to confess about taking left overs?!   

Get well soon and a big happy birthday to NG.   

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Morning girls  

Sorry to hear you're poorly Katie   It's sod's law isn't it? Hopefully being busy will take your mind off how crap you feel... LO has got another bout of man flu.. Except he's taken to wiping his nose on his sleeve like a typical little boy - gross   Hope the party all goes well though.

Chris - You'll be all partied out by the time the weekend is over! Glad jabbing is going ok and fingers crossed all can go ahead as it should  

Hi to everyone else  

Not up to much here really... DH is off on his travels again - Italy this time but only until Monday. My sister is visiting today and we're seeing my best friend and her kids tomorrow then it'll be work again on Monday... Boo hiss   But DH got some holiday next week so have some nice things planned. You watch OFSTED turn up next week  

Have a good weekend girls xxx


----------



## Monkeymoo

Pocket eeeeewwww to ds, it's actually a ma thing as i still catch dh doing it sometimes. Katie hope you feel better and party goes well. Chris keeping fingers crossed for your tx sounds like a nice busy weekend to keep u occupied. Hi to everyone else.
afm having a lazy day today and inbetween doingbits n bobs of tidying around the house. Dh gone back to bed as it's his day off but he's promised a fried brekkie when he gets up so won't be leavinghim much longer as getting hungry. At mums tomorrowfor full sunday roast. Not had one for a while so looking forward to it. Strange in our house atm as we rehomed on of our fur babies the other day which we're gutted about but at the same time i can physically feel some tension lifting. She was getting very hyperactive. The house is a lot calmer.


----------



## Katie4

Evening!!!

Phew! I am shattered and relieved. Think everyone enjoyed it. Ng of course had a few tears but I think that's the birthday girl's perogative. And yes, there was far too much food and I think she literally only ate some cucumber and about 3 packets of wotsits! Felt quite emotional singing happy birthday, it's actually not for 10 days but we did it early in case LO makes an early entrance and in the hope my pelvis would hold out and it did!! Of course I've totally over done it and could barely shuffle out of the place but it's such a huge accomplishment. Fortunately we had help from family so they helped set up and clean up. Have no idea how you would do it without help! 

The antibiotics have def helped, 3 doses in and I'm def so much brighter so I know there was a bacterial element or else there would be no obvious change. As for having some left over , erm yep you should always complete the course! 

Chris good luck for your party marathon!

Enjoy your Sunday's.. Will be v quiet here!


----------



## chrisgib

Katie - So glad you have survived and it all went well. Make sure you rest properly now. You've done really well to keep mobile until now, only a few more weeks to go.   

Our party marathon was good - two very different parties - one with bouncy castle, the other with an 'entertainer', so that one was a bit more sit and listen. (magic, puppets etc). The only thing that went wrong was that I forgot about the swimming lesson so had to leave the party mid-tea and run out clutching our paper plate of food - I did get some odd looks, but I had cleared it with the mum! We were only 5 mins late for swimming, so all Ok in the end.

Pleased the drugs have kicked in too and you're feeling better. Will you have enough though to deal with it fully or do you need a top up?!

Monkeymoo - glad you feel calmer and house feels calmer. Must have been a difficult decision to make re your fur baby but sounds like it was the right one for you all.   

Pocket - hope your DH is doing all his travelling now so he can be home when he's really needed! 

I'm babysitting tonight for a friends 1 year old - but so far all quiet thank goodness. I'll panic if she wakes up! (This baby is a natural miracle after her ICSI (4th attempt) brother who's Holly's age.)

I'll stop rambling now - you can tell I've got no one to talk to/at!   (and there's nothing on tv   )

Christine
xx


----------



## Katie4

Ooh monkey, didn't get chance to comment about your fur baby. V v tough decision I'm sure but sounds like the right one. I feel guilty most days that our dogs don't get the attention they used to before ng and dh would rehome them in a heartbeat (they were my mums before she died and her preference was that a couple of neighbours had them but they disnt want them full time and I did- my mums argument was that we'd have children and would struggle with two dogs and she was right but I can't rehome them, my Sister would take them first and in truth they'd get less attention in her house than ours!) as it is I'm at home with them a lot and they get walked most days and are well cared for, we just don't play like we used to but they are nearly 13 so I try to think that they are old boys now). And our house now is so much better for them both as the living space is all on one floor so we are all with each other more. And we are sending them to the in laws when I have the baby for at least a couple of weeks to take the pressure off a bit. 

Just re- read that and I think I sound like I'm making excuses! 

Chris there really is nothing on is there?! Pan am starts again next week. Really like it, v trashy but easy to watch! 

Right pjs are calling!!


----------



## PocketRocket

Chris - I too am feeling at a loss.. I've no one to talk to and also share the same thoughts re: TV! Mind you, I shouldn't complain that I have no one to talk to... LO is always a bad sleeper when DH is away so I shouldn't tempt fate    As for DH's travelling - only got a few days away in Abu Dhabi in March to go (he is under strict instructions to forgo the trip to Hong Kong in early June   ) and then a 10 day trip in August to Argentina.. when I will be on my own with two LOs   

Katie - Glad the party went well and that you are feeling better   

Monkeymoo - Sorry you had to let one of your furbabies go   

Think I might head up to bed and read some trashy magazines as there's nowt on TV.. esp as I have just heard a whimper from LO    Knew the peace wouldn't last for long   

Pocket xxx


----------



## chrisgib

Sweet Dreams both of you - hope you get an unbroken night and have a lovely deep sleep.   

Christine
xx


----------



## Katie4

What is it about them knowing when the daddy is away?! Can you get your relatives to help when dh is away? Will your LO still go to the childminder when you are on mat leave ? 

And one of my dogs has come upstairs... Oh the added guilt, they've been neglected because of thE party and no walk because of the lousy weather.


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Girls my friend died  went to bed on sunday night and didnt wake up. he was 23! laid to rest yesterday. my heart is simply broke


----------



## Monkeymoo

Danni huge hugs thats terrible news x
katie you are not making excuses re fur babies. It took us months to decide about rehoming. We finally decided when lo was in hosp over christmas. The little dog was being destructive while we'd been out. We only have a little house and were not finding time to walk them like they needed. Our house was chaos a lot of the time. My stress levels are high mot day anyway so it wasalmost tippingme over the edge some days. Also with us wanting lo no 2 things had to change.


----------



## Katie4

Danni, I am so sorry what a tragic thing to happen.  Be kind to yourself, that kind of shock and sadness will take a long time to get used to..

Monkey, it's funny you say about the being destructive...one of ours has chewed 2 toys in the last week, weve only had 4 chewed since ng was born..so glad you know you made the right decision x


----------



## PocketRocket

Dannii - What sad news   I'm so sorry to hear that. Sending you lots of love and hugs  

Monkey moo - Sounds as though you made the right decision about your dog. Ive never had dogs but I can only imagine their being destructive doesn't help your stress levels - especially with your LO being poorly recently.

Katie - Unfortunately our relatives live an hour and a half away   so it's not always possible for them to be in hand when DH is on his travels. That said, my mum is very good and will come up whenever she can. I think I'll keep F at home with me once I go on mat leave but if I needed a morning to do some sorting or organising I'd be able to drop him at the childminder's for a couple of hours... She's quite laid back like that.

Thankfully LO only woke once in the night and slept until 7.15   Shame I woke up every two hours though  

Hope you all have peaceful Sundays xxx


----------



## Monkeymoo

Ng's toys? She had things off worktops, clothes out of washpile and nappies. Tore everything to shreds


----------



## chrisgib

Dannii   

That is truly awful news. Such a shock at such a young age. Tragic for you, but his poor parents and family too. Just shows how precious life is, value every minute.

Hope you find a way to celebrate the time you had with him and mourn his loss.

Take care.

Christine
xx


----------



## Katie4

Ooh you did have your hands full monkey. No wonder you were stressed. 

Pr at least you know in advance about dh's trips and how lovely to have a laid back childminder. Ng is still doing two and a half days at nursery for the first few months of my leave and then we might cut down to two days. For her though it's all about routine and if we took her out I'd be petrified of the fall out when she had to start again when I go back to work, especially as she will be heading off to school only 6 months later.

Am surrounded by mess...and posting on here...lol


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

I had my scan this morning - not great, but not (quite) disastrous. Just 4 follicles, measuring 22,17,15 and 8. Think they're going to go ahead with EC on Friday, so that means last jabs tonight and trigger shot tonight too. It's my worst response so far, so guess it's the writing on the wall - must be running out of eggs. (Although did respond similarly in Feb 2011 which ended in a BFP (Ectopic), so maybe not all is lost yet. 

All feels a bit quick now - having gone weeks with jabs, then it's all go go go. Guess there's a chance they might say Monday, but worried the big one will get too big in that time. They're phoning later to tell me what's what.  Annoying that the weekend is in the way really - the 15 one isn't quite big enough, and the 22 is getting close to the top end. Never mind - as we keep saying, we just need one good one. I am a believer though that the worse the cycle the better the outcome! 

BMI was 31 so at least I'm still in the game!!    Once all this is over I'm going to get that sorted out, drastic action needed. 

How are you all today? 

Any more birthdays this week?

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Chris, I'd still take that as good news (not wishing to take away from your "bad cycle= good outcome" theory but the follies can mature quite quickly so try not to worry about the 15 one). 

Does feel like this month has flown by though- when you said ec Friday I thought that must be wrong as that would mean you test date was around my section date...but that's right!!! Gulp!! Am not ready yet!! So what now? A session of acupuncture? Who will have holly for you?


----------



## chrisgib

Hi there,

Yes definitely happening on Friday so doing trigger shot tonight at 9.15pm - Please remind me!   
It clashes with our friends (x2) sons' birthday party - so I'm dropping Holly off with one of them and they'll take her to the party then bring her back at some point in the afternoon I think. Fine points still to be organised! Hoping the inlaws will have her in the afternoon, but it might just be easier for her and me to go to a friends house, as they say I'm not to be alone either. Don't want to push the inlaws out, but don't want them around all afternoon either!!

Got acupuncture in the morning, and will arrange for acupuncture around ET which I assume (  ) will be on Sunday.  Can't believe it's all happening again.

So Katie - what date is your section?  My niece is having hers tomorrow (hopefully). 

Christine
xx


----------



## Monkeymoo

Keeping my fingers crossed for u chris x


----------



## Katie4

Ooh Chris, the party idea sounds great. You want to be as relaxed as possible so worry not about the inlaws.

Trigger shot due during ad break 1 of obem (if you watch !) section date...it's really weird, can't bring myself to share (even though you've prob got a v good idea from what I've said) but at the mo it feels like I'm tempting fate...almost assuming everything will go according to plan? 

I still haven't told any friends or family I'm having a section, partly for the same reason and partly because in the nicest way, I don't want to discuss with them. Dh is insisting we tell the in laws this Sunday as he thinks it's only fair they have as much notice as possible seeing as how we do know the latest date the bsby will come, but I'd still rather wait a bit longer. Hmmm might talk to him about it tomorrow. Can't explain it, think it's just how I am in late preg, I've got a few invites for meals out and even though I should want to go I just want to stay at home and nest - prob because we aren't baby ready yet! Lol


----------



## chrisgib

Sorry Katie - didn't mean to pry. Just thought I'd missed/forgotten - you know what i'm like.   

Only just figured out what obem is! Haven't been watching it - DH hates it can't understand why I'd want to watch. In your condition I'm not sure I'd want to watch either!!  I'd better put it on then, so as to remember the trigger shot.

Inlaws have now been told to stand down. If we have ET on Sunday we'll need them then instead. I'll go from the hospital to my friends house and she can look after me and Holly (plus her 2 kids).    In addition I've invited myself and DH round to her house for dinner on Saturday night - talk about taking advantage.   

Sounds to me like you're in denial that you're having a baby!  Friend of mine was just the same as she was complaining of period pains, when actually they were labour pains. Don't worry though - in denial or not, the baby will arrive and then you can tell us all about him/her.    As for going out, being heavily pregnant and probably feeling big, plus all the spd discomfort is bound to make you want to stay home.  Going out is over rated!

Christine
xxx


----------



## chrisgib

Done it (trigger shot), didn't forget - although had to watch Obem to remember! That's my last ever injection whatever the outcome - hooray hooray!!   

Obem is torture though, in a strangely addictive way.

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Well done...got carried away nagging dh and generally having a toddler esq tantrum about how he's doing nothing emotionally or physically towards this baby and needs to buck his ideas up. Prob a bit harsh but I'm only asking him to build the sodding cot! 

So, sorry I didn't come back in a timely fashion to remind you :-(


----------



## chrisgib

Katie - Has he still not done it?  That's shocking.    

He's a brave man though - not doing as he's asked by you, especially in your condition. Hope the tantrum will pay off.   

Christine
x


----------



## Katie4

Cot still not built but he has been out to the garage and brought in our nature's nest which is something. 

Honestly, I know there's no reason for the LO to come early but as far as the NHS is concerned I'm fully cooked this Friday (as in 37 weeks) and just don't feel ready yet. 

He's said write him a list so I have..would it be wrong to put "spend time with your wife" on it?! 

I have also suggested he go online and read about sections and what to expect, I think he thinks he'll swan into hospital for a few hours each day, sit with us and head home to play with Ng and have his meals done by the MIL and then I'll come home and be sore but OK. I've told him, he'll prob have to help me shower the first time while Im in hosp....and pass the baby to me to feed because reaching will be hard....maybe it's time to go to bed and stop worrying, it's not changing anything tonight.


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Hello

firstly i'm sorry for being such a frubbish FF!

cant believe i've missed almost all of your tx cycle chris, and katie i cant believe baby is almost cooked. Shame on me 

Secondly i want to thank you all for your kind words and thoughts for me even when i dont reply and also for my friend, i so apprecite it.

things here are just about to get interesting.. im waiting for af to begin the countdown until day 21 for FET and i'm moving house in the next few wks also. nothing happens for ages then everything at once 

pocket, lyns, lou lou, shrimper, monkey moo, sanfran


----------



## Katie4

Oh danni, this whole thing is such a marathon, you know we understand and you will post when you when its right for you.  Can't believe your tx is kicking off, that's brilliant.  and a house move too, stressful (probably!) but a good omen for fresh starts plus it's all a good distraction from your sad news. I don't mean that nastily, but I've found having lost both parents that death and grief are things you Adapt to living with rather than "get over" if that makes sense? 

So then, personals while I'm up...! 

Loulou - think/hope you are still reading and that you are doing ok poppet

Lyns - trust your little man is still as adorable as ever and you and dh are coming to terms with your loss. I suspect the last two months havent flown by for you guys x 

Monkey- are you still going to Zumba? 

Shrimper- how are things with you? 

Pr - you managing ok this week? Ofsted not dropped in? 

Chris - in answer to your birthday question it's ngs "other" (lol) birthday this weekend - as in the family one where she gets her presents - including a Bosch work bench courtesy of gransdad- I've no issue with the concept, just asked my FIL when he's starting the extension! And then it's her actual birthday on Monday so we are going to a soft play with friends as dh is working and turn her final celebration will be on Tuesday at nursery - so we are doing an M and S cake run on Friday afternoon!! Which coincidentally will mark the start of my leave. (she typed with a huge smile, even at 4.48am!!!)


----------



## Monkeymoo

Hi everyone, just a quickie. Very quiet my end me and dh getting used to one less dog and re-arranging/tidying house. Work a real pain at the moment, so much that i'm looking for something else. I just don't want the stress anymore. Haven't been to zumba :/ had vbad headache last week and i was in bed before it even started last night. Will definitely make the effort next week as i didn't lose anything at fat club yesterday.


----------



## Katie4

Oh monkey, it's so foul when work makes you feel like that. Def time to look around, just doing that will hopefully make you feel better. And considering the stress you are under maintaining your weight is a big achievement. Big hugs sweetie.  X


----------



## Katie4

Chris - just wanted to wish you good luck for tomorrows ec xx


----------



## Katie4

Btw cot now built, garage tidied...guilt for childish behaviour in full swing!!  worked though!


----------



## Katie4

Chris and the lovely follies


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girlies,

Just a quickie - off to the MILs today   

So sorry I've been AWOL this week... it's been a manic one! But I have been reading as always.

Chris - Best of luck today       Cannot believe how quickly this cycle seems to have gone?!! It has whizzed past! Will be hoping and praying you get some gorgeously juicy eggs ready to get jiggy with it    Big hugs to you lady   

Katie - Last day of work today if I recall correctly?!!       Woohoo!! Enjoy    Glad DIY SOS is well and truly underway now    The power of hormonal tantrums... Love it!!! Hope LO enjoys all of her bday celebrations.

MonkeyMoo - Sorry to hear you are so miserable at work    It's horrible isn't it? Really hope that you find something soon   

Dannii - Sounds as though you have a couple of busy weeks ahead! Best of luck and keep us informed if you get a chance.

Lots of love to anyone I have missed   

Better dash - DH has just returned from running some errands with LO so we'll be off soon.

Lots of Love xxx


----------



## Katie4

29 minutes and counting....


----------



## chrisgib

Hooray Katie - you're a free woman!  Did they buy you lots of lovely presents and give you a good send off?

Pocket - have a great weekend with the MIL. Catch up with you next week.

Thanks so much for all your good wishes, all went quite well really.

We got 3 eggs, 2 of which are mature enough for ICSI, and 1 is being nurtured in the lab overnight to see if it will be good enough by tomorrow. They will phone me on Sunday morning between 9 and 10 to confirm if any have fertilised. If the slow one is progressing then I reckon transfer will be Monday, but otherwise it could be Sunday.

I'm now vegging on the sofa, cuddling my DD watching Toy Story - bliss!

Lots of love to you all, will try and come back on later.

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Terrific news Chris - sending lots of lovely positive baby vibes their way!!! 

We've just spent an hour watching "the Santa Claus" in bed. Was bliss, sure I fell asleep briefly!


----------



## Twopence

Hi Ladies

Sorry I have been a bit rubbish of late. What with the news re FIL and putting the house on the market/ stroke trying to buy one and loking after a friends toddler who just had a new baby we are nega busy. AS well as including mega busy at work as loads of people made redundant end of Dec, my team got smaller and are all doing ALOT more work for less money. Public sector workers paying for others cock-ups but that is a whoooole other story and prob not one for here   

Katie - OMG!! so soon, we'll soon here the virtual sound of pitter patter.

Chris - hope all goes well. Really goet everything i can have crossed for you.

Dannii -   Just gutted for you and for your poor friends family.

MM - sorry your little fur baby went to another home but I am sure s/he is getting lots of cuddles and will be very much wanted.

PR - 23 weeks already, that is mad. I remember reading about the 12 week scan.

AFM, all mad here but will promise to try and be a better poster.

DD just made me burst today. She was crying and then she said ''me not sad anymore, mummy makes me happy''. I was just fit to burst and thank God I did not crash the car. She is soooooo perfect (sorry I keep saying it but I feel so blessed).

Love to all

PS went to Mothercare today to buy a new baby outfit for a friend (sixth arrival this year) and just broke down, burst out crying and left that section. Then felt bad and went and spent £93 on DD.....   

Love to all of you xx


----------



## Katie4

Shrimper    sounds perfectly normal to me sweetie. (6th arrival this year..OMG! Internet shopping might be a bit easier?) Mothercare here makes me want to cry most of the time, but that's probably because the staff are so appalling. 

Glad DD is keeping you chirpy.

OMG just seen the time, best go and do bedtime. Have been writing a letter of complaint (I'm doing a lot of complaining at the moment    it's working so far though!)

Back later, it's Friday after all.


----------



## Monkeymoo

Hi everyone, great news chris. Stil got myfingers crossed for you.
katie, yay to finishing work.
hi to everyone else and hugs to anyone who needsone (or two) plenty to go around.
more bad newsfor us. Dh took lo to outpatient appt for hisreflux today. He is nowbooked in for a gastrosopy ?? (camera down food pipe) next friday. So we now have a week to sort house, work and rehome a dog. As he iscurrently tearing the kitchen to bits when left on his own. So sadly he hasto go


----------



## Katie4

Oh monkey!!! Right, in priority order, the gastroscopy, poor LO and poor you guys - assuming they use similar drugs in children as they do in adults, the one thing I can tell you is he will be very very relaxed and sleepy and will not remember a thing (dh had one in late November). They can also tell so much so quickly from it but its still such a shame he has to go through it. The dog, sounds like another right decision, just something else you could do without it once sorted it will be such a relief. The house? Well you'll do what you can in the time you have. Big hugs to you, hope you are looking after yourself. Is your dh good? As in is he being lovely? Hope so; we aren't v good at stressful situations and in your shoes would def be arguing over anything and everything!


----------



## Monkeymoo

Dh is great. He has lo while im at work so has things a lot tougher than me some days. We have our odd bicker when stress levels peak. But its usuall over something silly like who had the remote last. The bib stuff we tend to be fairly organised andwork through it together. We've had plenty of practice as since we got together things have been thrown at us from all directions. But we've always come through the other side together. I'm looking after today. I cooked tea (usually his job) ran a bath for him (to save time i shoved lo in with him for 10 mins) and now he's downstairswatching a film. I'm in bed with a cuppa tea and a book.


----------



## lyns76

hi everyone, sorry i havent been on in ages, i have been trying to escape from reading up on things etc and take time out to relax a little and enjoy our little man.

Guess what.....i am pregnant again!!!!?

very early days and feel a bit scared to type this but yes it has happened naturaly for us again....now idea why after all this time.

My mum is the only one that knows apart from me and hubby...oh and you guys.

I am very happy but i am just not gonna think about it too much for now and just try and relax, only found out on wednesday.

Cant belief there are gonna be sum birth announcements on here soon, god how the time has flew by, hope the bumps are doing well.

Chris, i am keeping all crossed for you and prey for a happy outcome this time xxxxxx

Lyns


----------



## Katie4

OMG lyn!!!!! What terrific news!!! Congratulations - I am so happy for you sweetie. Thank you
For letting us know.


----------



## lyns76

Thank you.

If i am not on here much its not cus i dont want to know how you all are its just that i am trying to keep my mind of the whole fertility/pregnancy thing, hope you understand.

i have had so many years of it being on my mind 24 hrs/7 days a week that i just felt/feel that i need to start living again !

I will keep you posted on news/progress though, just hope its better news this time   

Lyns
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Lyns - what lovely news to read first thing this morning! So happy for you. Totally understand your caution though, but we'll all be hoping and praying this works out perfectly for you.

Chris - Will be hoping its great news for you this morning - will be keeping an eye out for an update...

MM - Sorry to hear LO has to go back into hospital. You are going through a tough time lately, aren't you? You know where we all are when you need to sound off.

Shrimper - Good to hear from you! Sending you a virtual hug re: your 'moment' in Mothercare - I've done that before... It hurts so very much. Good for you spending some money on DD following it though - what ideal therapy!!

Hi to everyone else.

AFM, ok here - spent the day organising and DIYing with DH yesterday... Feel as though we are finally getting somewhere!!

Lots of love to you xxxx


----------



## chrisgib

Lyns - fabulous news, lovely to hear.   How many weeks are you now?  I really wish you the best of luck, hope it all goes smoothly. You have been so strong through this whole journey - I don't blame you a bit for trying to keep your mind off all things IF.   

I've no news yet - still waiting for the phone call - getting really nervous now.  They said between 9 and 10 - cutting it a bit fine in my opinion! But then I never really was the most patient of people.   

Went to friends for dinner last night and enjoyed a small glass of the most beautiful red wine - it was like a meal in a glass. Naughty I know, but hey...   

Christine
xx


----------



## chrisgib

They've just phoned - no embryos to put back. Eggs were poor quality, none fertilised and the little one didn't progress in the lab.

Think that's the end of the road for us.

Gutted.

Christine
xx


----------



## Monkeymoo

HUGE HUGS chris x what a terrible shame. You and dh look after yourselves and your lo. Xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh Chris.

I don't know what to say. I ache for you - I really do. It's so unfair.   

Take some time out sweetie and do whatever you want to do with your beautiful little family. Go buy yourself a whole magnum of that red wine you had last night and enjoy every drop.

Understand if, like Lyns, you need a break from anything IF, but please don't be a stranger   

Pocket xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Chris, I am so terribly sad for you and dh. What a huge shock. Sending you the biggest hugs. Be kind to yourself sweetie, such a devastating and unexpected blow. 

Katie x


----------



## Tillypops

So sorry Chris.

xxxx


----------



## chrisgib

Thanks everyone. 

I'm Ok providing that no one is nice to me - can't cope with sympathy! 

As DH has pointed out, a BFN now is somehow easier than our previous BFN's - so a good one to end on. 

DH has agreed to continue trying naturally, so you never know, we might get lucky. (Although if anyone else suggests that, particularly MIL, I'll swing for them/her!!   )

I now need to find a new project, but not sure what. Maybe retrain to do something - PR, would you talk me out of teaching, or teaching assistant?!  Any other suggestions welcome, but will need to fit in with school etc, and be flexible.  Or another project - I'd love to move house, in to one to refurbish, but the costs of moving are so high, and I'm rubbish at DIY, so maybe not such a good idea.   

Ho hum - this is rubbish really. I know we all deserately want a second, but we all know how blessed we are to have No1. I love her so so much. She is going to truly indulged.   

I'm sure I'll keep posting - you do all feel like my real friends, we've been through so much together.   

Thanks for all your support.

Christine
xxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Glad you're kind of ok Chris - know what you mean about the sympathy thing! You almost want someone to be insensitive so that you can focus your sadness on that rather than feeling sorry for yourself     I also fully understand you wanting to smack anyone who suggests the 'get lucky naturally' thing... it is definitely one of those things that is ok for you and DH to suggest, but anyone who has absolutely no experience of IF has no right to say that   
Don't blame you for wanting to get your teeth stuck into something... I would be happy to talk you out of teaching    but being a teaching assistant might be worth considering.. hell, I might even become one myself!!!   You get the holidays (which has always prevented me from leaving the profession... only 28 days holiday a year?! No way!), it's 9-3pm if you get a full time contract, it'll fit in with Holly and her schooling and it's a good insight to teaching if you did eventually decide you wanted to do that. I would actually recommend being a TA - from a teacher's point of view, it's similar to being a teacher but without all the crap and responsibility!! Not saying it's an easy job if you do it properly, but you know what I mean   

Glad you're going to keep posting... it wouldn't be the same without you on here   

Pocket xxx


----------



## lyns76

Chris,   
Take a little time out and see how you feel, never say never and you never know whats round the corner.

give that little one of your a great big kiss and enjoy every smile and hug that you get back.

xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Evening. 

Chris how's today been? Has dh been to work as usual?


----------



## chrisgib

Hi,

Thanks for all your lovely comments.

Today has actually been fine. Except for one brief moment when my best friend hugged me for longer than I could cope with.   

Apart from that I've been quite positive about being treatment free and getting on with life.  I know there will be good and bad days - and I'm probably just doing my old trick of burying my head in the sand and not really dealing with it. But this time, I don't have any resentment towards DH for stopping, whereas I would have done after any previous cycle. I genuinely feel like we gave it our best shot.

DH did go to work today, but we don't really talk about it when he's home. Yes of course we're both upset, but there's nothing we can do about it and we've spend the last 10 years trying to make babies. I was going through my drawers upstairs earlier today and found an old diary, think it was 05/06 - there were all my period dates, ovulation dates, etc etc - seems so sad to have been doing this for so long. Probably not a very healthy way to deal with things, and maybe in a week or so I might consider counselling etc, but at the moment I don't feel I need it. I'm not even sure whether to bother with the follow up appointment - think it will only upset me.

Goodness, bet you wished you'd never asked.    In summary - I'm fine, honestly.   

Flowers were left on my doorstep today too - not sure who to thank though which is a bit awkward.   Nice problem to have though.   

How are all of you today?

Christine
xxx


----------



## sanfrancisco

Hi,not been on here for ages,trying to get away from all things fertility related truth be known 

Just wanted to tell you chris how sorry I am that things didn't work out for you.You have been so brave doing all those cycles and at least you know you gave it your upmost and could'nt have done any more.As the others say you never know what will be next and what is meant for you will not pass you   

Pocket-gosh your pregnancy is going so quickly,hope you are well and truing to enjoy it now.

Lyn-lovely news,I'm sure things will be fine this time.Natural bfp's always give us hope!! 

Katie-not long to go now,how exciting.Have you decided to have a section in the end.

No news here,still broody ++,thinking of more treatment but don't think I could cope with another bfn.Have put over a stone on since my last treatment,seriously out of shape.Need to get a move on though as 40 in july and AMH came back at 9 ,which is crap apparently,although looking at what other girls post it seems the norm!!

Hi to everyone I've missed,but wishing you lots of luck and hope our dreams will come true and sorry for being a crap fertility friend  xx


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Bit of a me post I'm afraid - just feeling a bit lonely.   

Been keeping myself busy this week investigating the possibility of adoption or even fostering. Realistically though I don't think it's for us. I think it would probably bring more problems than it solves in our situation, and I'm not sure I could turn Holly's world upside down to that extent - especially when I'd be doing it for her benefit.
I just feel like all our options are being taken away from us. Might even have to resort to   . 
Oh dear - you have to laugh really!!   

It's all just so unfair. Today's defo a down day, so hopefully tomorrow will be an up one.

One good thing today - letter came through to confirm that DH's car accident wasn't his fault after all - hooray. We knew that of course, but the other driver was lying through her teeth.   

Oh well - that's me today. Hopefully be back on later with a smile on my face instead. Just got too much time to think about things at the moment.

 to you all.

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh Chris, you are right, today is a not so good day but considering adoption and fostering is perfectly reasonable and whatever decision or conclusion you come to today dont worry about it, whether ultimately you decide it's the right for your family or not, you'll make your mind up and change it repeatedly. Let's face it, you're bound to reconsider all options. 

On the positive, terrific news about the car. Just one less thing to worry about. 

Big hugs, have an early night and keep posting, you might feel lonely but we are all here x x x


----------



## Twopence

Hi ladies

Just a quickie really as I wanted to see how Chris had got on.

Chris  You are so brave and amazing. I am so sorry that things didnt work out for you this time. DH and I are similar to you re trying everything we can. When we start tx it will be the only attempt we can ever afford and I am at the point where now I just want it out the way. If it works then yay and if not, we have given ourselves all the chances we can and can hope to move on.

Reading your post was like reading my life. I also found a calendar recently scribbled in dates etc. I actually felt sorry for myself like I wasnt even looking at my own life but like some poor cow I would pity! I feel like some of you on here and that I just need to let go and get on with the rest of my life.

DH and I are hoping to move soon and have started looking at private education for DD (which we couldnt afford for two). I think we both know it isnt really going to happen but just have to cross that last hurdle to move on (i.e. the ICSI)

DH has poor motility and I have the endometriosis, adenomyosis, one tube and a low AMH of 2.3 which makes your 9 look OK *sanfran*!! It isnt going to happen naturally so I will just go on the pill and never have a break so no more AF and endo pain.

To put your reading into perspective Sanfran - you can agg share with an AMH of 10 or over so 9 isnt too low. PLus I have seen ladies on here concieve with an AMH of 0.1!!

Chris - I hope you are being kind to yourself.

Katie - hope you are OK and pain free at the moment.

PR - what age do you teach? I am having lots of conflicting thoughts re education at the moment.

Lyns - congrats - well done.

MM -  Hope LO is OK. AS Katie says, the procedure is OK and he wont remember it and hopefully you will have some answers. So cute DH and LO in the bath. I got in with DD once and she soon showed me where to go - ha ha!! 

Best be off as got the photographer for house pics tomorrow and it is a mes!! DH has gone out so it is me, a hot water bottle, tons of nurofen trying to do it all!!

Love to all xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh Chris - sorry you are having a down day   Don't beat yourself up though sweetie - it's all part of the healing process. Looking into other options might not seem realistic at the moment but at least you know that there are other options should you wish to look further into them eventually. You know where we are   

Katie - Hope you're ok and feeling relatively calm about the impending arrival    I'm very excited for you   

SanFran - Lovely to hear from you    And you aren't a crap Fertility Friend!! Totally understandable that you need to stay away from IF sometimes... I didn't post throughout my pg with DS - you just need to forget sometimes don't you?   

Shrimper - Have you decided where to move to? I teach Year 5 at the moment (9 & 10 year olds) but have taught across all key stage two over the years... For my sins    Have no experience in private education though.

AFM, ok here - just counting down the days until mat leave and still hoping and praying each day that we don't get the OFSTED call!!   
DH has been moping around this evening with a face like a smacked **** - he made a f?!k up at work and was waiting for his boss to call back to help him out with how to solve the problem. It's all ok now I think - bless him, I did feel for him as he is so passionate about his job and hates letting people down and making mistakes, but this happened a year ago as a result of him trying to do too much and taking on everyone else's job - I gave him a lecture about it at the time but was ignored   ... now it's happened again and, well, I'm not very good at not saying 'I told you so'   

Lots of love to you all - hope you are keeping snuggly warm in this chilly weather   

PR xxxx


----------



## Monkeymoo

Hi everyone, sorry quick me post. Hugs to anyone who needs one x
i'm slowly sending myself batty. Keep forgetting to note down af dates so snuck on to pc at work and trawled back through this thread for dates. Af is a week late and i've talked myself in and out of the possibilities. Bought a hpt this morning but hve hid it in the cupboard as now feel i'm totally wrong. It's hidden from dh as i don't want to tell him what might be and get his hopes up. And since this morning i'm convinced af willarri e today and i'll have a test i'll have to hide properly. My plan is to do the test in the morning while dh in bed. Luckily bathroom downstairs. Then my thinking is if it's neg i'll just bin it and carry on. Really don't want to make a big thing of it. Trying to think positivethoughts but convinced it's not going to be this easy. Aaaaaarrrrgggghhhh!


----------



## chrisgib

Oh MM!    Just do it now!!  There's no way you'll rest until you know. What sort of test did you buy?!  Is it a twin pack?  If negative now, could always do the other one in the morning.  But then I'm quite impatient and I won't sleep either on your behalf.   

I reckon your DH will twig there's something going on if you leave it til the morning.   

Good luck - hope you get the answer you want, whenever you do it.

Christine
xxxx


----------



## Monkeymoo

Its a twin pack. Dh in house so cant sneak to do it cos i was thinking the same. Im too scared dont want a no


----------



## chrisgib

You could tell him? If you do get a BFN - would you be able to hide your disappointment, or would you need him to comfort you? 

Sorry - can't help you really - I'd just disappear in to the toilet for a few minutes - would he really notice?  Failing that - hide the stick somewhere after and then go back to it.  

I'm so nervous for you.    

Christine
xxx


----------



## Monkeymoo

I gave in. Dh went to shop so i went and did it. OMG bfp!! Just going up to docs to confirm


----------



## chrisgib

We need PR here - she gets much better images!!  OMG - congratulations!  Now tell me - how dark is the line, or did you get a test that talks weeks?  

Have you told DH yet?

So pleased for you. Pray it all goes smoothly for you.   

Come back on and tell us DH's reaction!   

Christine
xxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

OMG MonkeyMoo!!! What fantastic news!! I think you deserve some of this after the hard time you've been through lately!! Soooo pleased for you!

Keep us informed regularly please!!!   

Pocket xxx


----------



## Monkeymoo

V dark line and nurse at docs confirmed it's a definite yes. Told dh when he got back from shop and we made appt at docs straight away. I'm about 5 weeks at the minute so early days. I'm still shocked think it'll take a while to sink in.


----------



## Katie4




----------



## Katie4

OMG I was so not expecting that, well done you Monkey. And to have missed that AF was late...how lovely. Can't tell you how pleased I am for you. And, like the others, so glad you tested, I would have lost sleep wondering!


----------



## Katie4

I only popped out for a couple of hours and look at the news...!


----------



## Monkeymoo

Thanks everyone, apart dh you are the first to know. Will have to sneak on pc again so i can see all the smileys. Phoned my mum and she's really happy for us. Am now in bed to catch up on two sleepless nights.


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,  very quiet on here, hope you're all OK.

MM - has it sunk in yet - are you OK?  Very excited for you.   

Katie - not long to go now, how's that pelvis holding out? 

Pocket - how long til you finish work - is it end of this term? How's your DH, recovered from the work problems?

Shrimper - how's the move coming along? We're the same - could manage posh school for 1, but would have to move be near a decent state school if we were ever to have a no2. I'm hoping that schools round here might miraculously improve in the next 10 years before we have to make any decisions. Primary's are all excellent, but then everyone moves or goes private, so state schools don't really stand a chance.

Hi to Sanfran, Lyns, Loulou, and everyone else.   

I've had a fantastic day today - just with Holly, went swimming (which I haven't done for months due to tx etc) and then soft play in the pub with friends. She was asleep by 6.30pm and I'm now enjoying a lovely glass of red. DH is away tonight working down in Plymouth so have the remote to myself - bliss! Generally I'm OK, trying to focus on all the advantages of having just the one. Easy to do while she's acting like the perfect child!   

Love to you all.

Christine
xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi everyone   

How strange! I was literally just thinking about you guys when I got an email to say you'd posted Chris! Was just watching something on The One Show about fertility tx and how so many PCTs aren't offering cycles for people and it made me think of my FFs   

All ok here thanks - had a snow day today   Very unexpected - but very lovely! So a one day week this week for me    Had a lovely weekend in wales with my old housemates and their babies and DHs so used today as a catch up day. Sounds as though you had a great day Chris - and sounds as though you have a fantastic evening ahead planned too - enjoy   

DH seems to have sorted out his work issues thanks - met with his CEO today to discuss his role and he seems to think he is on the right road so fingers crossed it'll all work out.

Yep Chris - only one half term to go until mat leave    Took great delight in making the most of DS's nap time today to plan my last few lessons for my last few weeks... although if the dreaded OFSTED turn up between now and then I am sure I will re-write the whole lot... can't say I took much pride in it!!

Hi to you all - hope you are ok xxxx


----------



## Monkeymoo

Glad you've had a good day chris.
I'm ok. V tired and feeling sick a lot but it still hasn't fully sunk in. I don't think it will till the 12wk scan. So wish i could get one earlier. Feels like i've got to wait forever :/


----------



## PocketRocket

The nausea is all good MM!!    Could you not pay for an earlier scan at all? x


----------



## Monkeymoo

No we don't have any 'spare' money. Thats why we had ruled out tx. X


----------



## chrisgib

MM - I don't know too much about your IF journey - but could you beg an early one from the EPU via the GP?  I've known friends manage to do that.

On the other hand, whilst we all love an early scan to check everything's OK, it doesn't really tell you much other than you're pregnant - and you know that bit. The other route is to just believe that it will be OK (and it will), and come 12 weeks there will be a real baby to see on the screen. If we weren't all on this IF journey - that's all we would expect (possibly?) 

Hope that doesn't come out wrong - don't mean it to sound offensive. Have you done any more HPT's?!

You sound much more patient and in control than any of us!!    

Pocket - glad you had an extra day off and it sounds like you've put it to good use. We've no snow here - Holly was gutted. 

Christine
xx


----------



## Twopence

Congrats MM, that is lovely news, really pleased for you.

Katie and PR - hope you are feeling OK.

Chris - sounds like you had a lovely day with Holly.

Had a rubbish weekend. DD was really poorly so two hospital visits later and a trip to the GP she seems on the mend and today ate for the first time since Thursday and did enough wee to warrant a nappy change bless her. I also turned 36 (had to cancel my night out tho with DD being so ill) and AF came so all in all pretty crap.

I am going to bow out of this thread I think ladies. No doubt I will pop in and read how you are all doing and check on babies arrivals but it isnt the thread for me any more. Please dont think I am being insensitive as I am so pleased to read all the fab news and really dont want to pee on your parades. The BFP's are such fab news to read and it really does give me hope but think I had better go and be upset, desperate and panicky elesewhere rather than bring down this fabulously happy thread.

For those with bumps (and almost bumps) I wish youall happy, healthy and safe pg and deliveries and for those of you not wuite there yet, I wish you all the best and tonnes of fairy dust.

Love to all and thanks for all your support the past few months. I mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say it has helped me so much because it has. Hopefully we will ALL Meet up somewhere else with trails of children behind us   

Shrimper


----------



## chrisgib

Oh Shrimper -   

Hope DD makes a quick recovery. Did they identify what the problem was - or was it a mystery virus? Sound like you've had a really tough weekend and AF will always feel like a big slap in the face on top of everything else. 

No pressure to stay obviously, but equally don't feel under pressure to go either. We've all had massive ups and downs so don't be put off by the ups, there are plenty of us around who are still Upset, desperate and a little bit panicky. 

I had planned to be a lurker - but then it all went quiet, so couldn't help myself although didn't really have any news. 

Do keep in touch, whatever you decide. Good luck!   

Christine
xxx


----------



## Twopence

Thanks Chris   

DD has an ear infection bless her.

I dont want to hang around and depress anyone and make them feel like they cant be excited about their fab news. Going to go and panic elsewhere seems like the best idea....  

I would love to read of your BFP one day, you are such a fab and positive lady.

Good luck xx


----------



## chrisgib

Just been watching 'Protecting our Children' on BBC2 - not feeling very fab or positive any more.      

As for my life - I'm not sure I'll ever actually get to the stage where I can see a pregnant lady and not feel like a knife's being twisted. But maybe I'll learn for it not to hurt quite so much.
Shrimper - I hope I'll get to see your BFP too.     I'll be watching you.   

I know lots of you on here are in a good place at the moment, but you all know me so well now, afraid you're stuck with me.   Who else would listen?! 

Right - off to bed now. Sleep well all.

Christine
xx

Better go before I


----------



## Tillypops

Ladies,

Just to let you know that I am bowing out of looking after this section of FF as I need to free up some time to get a business off the ground.  I just wanted to send you all lots of love and hope that everything works out for you all.

Love
Tilly
xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh shrimper, what a totally horrific weekend. I'm so sorry sweetie. Do whatever is right for you - come and drop in whenever suits, if ever. We'll miss you but understand, the last year has had so many ups and downs for the ladies on here so never worry about posting just how you feel. 

Hope your LO continues to perk up. Big hugs sweetie x x 

And Chris, my sister has just announced her 3rd pregnancy and I still felt sick when she told me...makes no sense but there it is..I think once you've been through IF you will always find it hard but like you say you adjust with time and have good days and bad. We're in it for the long haul though so just you keep posting


----------



## Katie4

Good luck tillypops. Are you allowed to tell us about your business?


----------



## Tillypops

Yes, it's a crafty business set up with another former FF. 

www.tickledpinkcrafts.co.uk

Or search for Tickled Pink Crafts on ********.

It needs to bring in some money this year otherwise I'll have to go back to work and I don't want to have to work for someone else again (if that makes sense!)!!

Tilly
xxxx

/links


----------



## Monkeymoo

Big hugs shrimper hope lo gets better soon.
good luck tilly i'll have to check it out on **.
Hi nhugs to anyone else. 
Chris plan to question it with the mw when she visits but still have the 2nd hpt hidden in the cupboard for reassurrance if i need it. Was talking to dh last night and i was the same last time even with the extra scans so unless i can get a freebie i'll try to just get on with things and hope time passes quickly.


----------



## chrisgib

Good luck MM - your DH sounds very wise, all too logical for us mere females!!   

Good luck to you too Tillypops - will you be hanging round the Bristol thread still, or are you leaving FF completely? Your website & products look lovely. Friends of mine have set up art/card businesses since I met them a couple of years ago and both seem to be doing well - there's obviously a big market out there for good quality stuff. 

Katie - silly how we feel re others pregnancies isn't it. For everyone else it seems all so easy - but then what goes on behind closed doors..... 

I'm feeling slightly less  tonight - AF arrived - that explains it!  I wasn't even expecting it just yet. Oh well, back on the Clear Blue fertility monitor - good for a pee stick addict! 

Thinking I may go for a follow up appointment after all and quiz them about DE - but not sure I'm brave enough to go down that route either. Maybe I should just accept where I am. Not sure I can bear to leave FF though!!!

Christine
xxx


----------



## Tillypops

No I'm not leaving FF, just dropping some workload and will be keeping the Bristol thread - you can't get away from me that easily!!

xxx


----------



## Katie4

Middle of the night insomnia induced emotional me post I'm afraid....I've been up since 12.45am and am so desperate to sleep I've just burst into tears and sobbed so loudly I've woken dh in another room. Ng isn't at nursery tomorrow either so I'm worrying about looking after her all day feeling like this. Am hoping my tears might have released enough tension to let me finally get back off to sleep. 

My pelvis is showing lots of signs of being about to "go" too which is worrying me as it will mean I need help with my hosp appt on Friday and yes, the rational part of me just says dh has to have the day off but at this point in the night all I can see is him saying something about the money (he's a contractor) and looming unpaid paternity leave. 

Oh and I've a stinking headache despite taking paracetamol and heartburn and another embarassing and extremely painful "minor" ailment associated with late pregnancy which is just horrendous. It's only days till my section but you know when it's late and everything's all out of proportion? 

Right, let's see if I can get comfy enough to sleep...

Sorry for being such a drama queen!


----------



## Monkeymoo

Big hugs katie hope off loading on here helped you feel a little calmer and you managed some sleep. Have a duvet day with ng and stick her favourite dvd on have some mummy and her time before the madness of the new arrival. As for dh and money pffffft your health is more important try not to worry. Just think, this time next week you'll have a gorgeous little miracle in your arms.


----------



## Katie4

Thanks monkey. Dropped off just before 5 I think...and ng came in at 6. Bribed her to stay quiet for half an hour and then did exactly as you suggested, fave film went on and I managed another hour dozing. Just having breakfast in bed..there's jam and crumbs everywhere but thats the least of my worries! Midwife at 11..that's all we are doing today other than surviving till dh gets home! The good news is as she was up so early there should be an afternoon nap in the agenda...how did any of Us cope with the sleep deprivation?!


----------



## Katie4

Hi!! 

Wednesday turned into a better than expected day and ng did indeed have a huge nap in the afternoon so I got to catch up on a bit of sleep. And last night I had 7+hrs so felt like superwoman today. 

How's everyone doing? Weve had more snow tonight but not as much as over the weekend which Is a relief! At hosp tomorrow to sign all the consent forms etc.

Danni, where are you up to treatment wise?

Lyns, hope everything's going smoothly. 

Pr how's the end of your short week been? 

Chris, how are you getting on? Holly still being an angel?

Monkey - how are you? Feeling ok or poorly?

Sanfran, shrimper and anyone else I've missed - evening! 

So quiet on here...big hugs (and fingers crossed I'm not back here later with insomnia!)


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Hello all

short and sweet tonight..

lyns and monkey moo congratulations ladies, hope everything goes smoothly for the next few months x

chris i'm so sorry my lovely  what a truly strong lady you are! 

tilly and shrimper all the best for the future x

pocket hows the bump?

thinking of you lou lou

sanfran how are you?

katie not long now, hopefully you sleep well tonight x

well im starting on the 16th have to visit the clinic and collect my drugs on the 14th, house move going ahead, possibly the week after next. its all go here


----------



## Katie4

Morning! Lovely to hear from you danni, it definitely is all go for you guys  how lovely. 

Have managed 4 hours sleep so that's not bad and I can always doze whilst waiting to see consultant today...was at hosp for over 3 hours last time!


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Katie - hope the appointment went well today and you weren't kept waiting for ages and ages. Guessing you haven't got long to wait now - good luck my lovely. Can't wait to hear the news. Birth announcements are always so much more lovely than pregnancy ones!!

How's everyone else?

Pocket - how's your lovely bump doing?  Got any big plans for half term? I'm still considering the whole school thing, but not rushing in to anything.   Think I need to do some volunteering first to see if it's really what I think it is - haven't been in a school for a while!  There again - maybe I'll love going to the gym so much once I get my new found freedom that I couldn't possibly sacrifice my me time by going to work. God I sound like a spoilt brat - Holly doesn't stand a chance!!  In reality I reckon I'll end up going back in to my old profession (Social housing) but not sure I can face that either.

Dannii - hope treatment goes well for you - so much going on - all sounds good though. 

hi to Lyns, Sanfran, Loulou, Shrimper, Monkeymoo -   

It has been mighty quiet on here. Does anyone else feel that perhaps this thread is gradually coming to a natural end? That might just be my own self centred view.  Maybe we need a thread on that 'old friends' bit of the site instead. 

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Perhaps Chris- but so long as there is somewhere we can catch up I don't mind. Tilly are you still our mod? Know you were going but not sure when? 

Appt did go well thanks sweetie (still took all morning!) all forms signed, bloods done and swabs(!) taken. Know where to go and when, just waiting now. Feels bonkers when I come to think of it and have found out I'll be on clexane for a week- I know most of your are totally ok with self injecting but this will be new for me..any hints? 

Perfect timing really as my pelvis is not happy, it's not as bad as it was last time but I can't walk now without crutches other than shuffling round the house and when I got out of the car this afternoon just acknowledged no more driving for me until the dr says so. 

Consultant was good, did talk about the risks but nothing I didn't already know. Got a few leaflets then had one of those awkward moments where I walked out and saw someone I knew...she looked mortified as she was there for her 13 week scan and repeatedly told me no one knew so I reassured her and said I'd keep quiet, meanwhile I'm stood there thinking can she see my section forms! Lol


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Is everyone ok?
Very quiet lately..


----------



## chrisgib

I'm hoping quiet means good for everyone - Katie are you in the hospital yet?!  Good luck if you are - thinking of you.   

I did just have a message saying that Katie had posted on here - but can't see anything - maybe the system's having a funny 5 minutes.

Have a good day everyone.

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

I did too Chris - I thought it was just me being ditzy!   

All ok here... been a busy few days    Was my birthday on Friday so I spent my birthday morning at a soft play place with LO and my BF (oh, how my life has changed   ) then my mum came up and we went shopping for birthday gifts which was lovely. Saturday - DH took me to a lush Italian just off Oxford Street and then we went to see Shrek the Musical which was good fun. My sister and her OH visited yesterday and then I took LO to a birthday party so feeling pretty worn out now    

Still, it's nice not to be at work today so I can't complain, although I am sat here writing reports while poor LO is watching Fireman Sam until his eyes turn square    I'm such a bad mum   

Hmmm... I'm wondering if Katie is otherwise engaged at the moment    She is always quite good at posting fairly promptly... Ooooh, I am getting quite excited now!!

Hope you guys are all ok?   

PR xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

All ok today girls?

It's quiet on the Katie front - the big day might be today! A Valentine's baby    How lovely! Well, if you are reading this Katie... best of luck - we are all rooting for you   

Lots of Love to the rest of you xxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Im here...I posted early yesterday and then deleted it because I was scared I was tempting fate to tell you we were on our way to hosp?!...we had a section yesterday and baby William was born at 11.27am. 8lb 8oz at 39 weeks- dark hair and chubby arms and cheeks! Having warned dh he'd be all blue and floppy for a while he cried before they'd even managed to get him out! 

Had a really good team of staff and I can honestly say, that even after a rough few hours yesterday afternoon (spinal wore off, then the pain kicked in and I was all shivery and in a bit of a state), having a section was absolutely the right decision. He has a 37cm head and would have been at least half a pound heavier had we left it to nature, I just cannot imagine id have managed to get him out alone. Everyone keeps remarking what a chunk he is! 

Ng hasn't met him yet but is coming this afternoon - Shes already said she doesn't like his name!

Thank you all so much for your support over the last year, you have been amazing friends and I'm so grateful to " know" you x x


----------



## Monkeymoo

congrats Katie


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh Katie - I am so happy for you    Sending you and your beautiful family lots of love and hugs!

So pleased you were glad that you made the right decision re: section and happy that they looked after you!

Take it easy and let us know how you are getting on. 

Pocket xxx

AM feeling all warm and fuzzy inside after hearing that news - been thinking of you all morning!!


----------



## chrisgib

OMG - been bursting to reply but only just got home and my phone won't let me.

Hooray hooray - well done Katie. So glad it all went smoothly, and hope they've found you some hard core painkillers now. 

    

Over the moon for you. Feeling quite emotional. He's a perfect weight, but like you say, bet you're glad you made your decision!   

Hope NG's introduction goes well too - savour every minute good and bad.  This moment is what we're all striving to achieve. 

Take it easy now, do as you're told, and write lots of lists to keep everyone else in order - accept all offers of help, they'll dry up soon enough!

Lots of love to you all.

Christine
xxxx


----------



## sanfrancisco

Just popping on to say a massive congrats to Katie and welcome to William.Lovely name and good size too xx
Hopefully this is the 1st of many,who's next?Pocket  xx
Big congrats to you Monkeymoo,hope your ok xx
Chris-been thinking a lot about you 
Sorry barging on here again but wanting to say congrats to Katie and I like to know what's going on-me NOSEY no way!!
Big to you all and slowly but surely our dreams are coming true!xx


----------



## Twopence

Well done Katie. Really glad to hear the fab news. Hope you are feeling OK and having tons of cuddles.

Had another birth announcement today, someone I met at ante natal has had her third in two years!! second and third born a year after the first and second.

Now my eighth birh announcement this year!! 

Happy valentines to the rest of you if you do anything.

Love to all, just wanted to pop back and say well done to Katie. Such fab news xx


----------



## Dannii_Doots

oh my god! oh my god! oh my god! katie i'm delighted for you dh and ng  what a lovely name for a special little boy. glad everything went well and its all over you now. relax, rest and enjoy these special days with your family. *HAPPY  TEARS*

have been thinking of you all and may need lots of support over the next few weeks if you ladies are up for it. i start down regging tomorrow for FET, cant believe its finally time


----------



## Monkeymoo

Good luck danni.
hi everyone, hope you're all ok. Feels a little strange posting on here now but i do keep reading. Nothing new here sick and tired most of the time and going crazy having to wait till 12 weeks for a scan.


----------



## peacelily

Congratulations to Katie (and her DH and NG) from a lurker who's "spoken" to Katie on threads and via PM before...I've been checking back for a few days to see your news!  Welcome to the world baby William   

Peacelily xx


----------



## Tillypops

Yay!! Huge congratulations Katie, DH and NG on the birth of William!! So happy for you.

Lots of love
Tilly
xxxx


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Katie - been thinking about you loads. Hope you're healing well and enjoying your new LO. Are you back at home yet?  Don't feel pressure to post though - guessing you've got your hands full!   

Hi to everyone - it's gone all quiet on here again - guess we can't quite follow Katie's news!!

I don't have much news really. I've had a good week, and Holly is on good form - although she has now started getting in to bed with me/DH in the middle of the night which is annoying as I then have to take her to the guest room for us to get some sleep. I know super nanny would just say carry her back and don't talk etc etc - but I just want to go back to sleep rather than spend an hour arguing.  Problem is she's got in and cuddled up by the time I wake up and see her there! Anyone else had this? Problem really is that it's really cute, just not good for sleeping.   

I don't know where I am with this whole No2 thing now. Logic tells me to give up, but the excitement I feel as my CBFM (fertility monitor) says 'high' tells me I'm not quite ready for that yet. Just need to get DH in the mood...!

Hope you've all had a good half term.

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Evening just a quick one as I'm in day ten growth spurt territory and it's tougher than I remember! 

Danni hope treatement is going ok hun

Chris, here's hoping your cb monitor helps you - know after ng I could spot ovulation at 20 paces! 

Pr how's things? Not long till mat leave for you poppet. 

Lyns hope everything is progressing nicely. When's your next scan?

Monkey - how are you getting on sweetie? Are you feeling ok? 

Hi to everyone I've missed...forgive me, I'm totally brain dead today. 

Would be lovely to read what everyone's up to if you have a mo x x


----------



## chrisgib

Oh Katie, so glad you're back. It's been so quiet on here, we're lost without you!!

I've no news really, but would love to hear all about your new bubba when you get a mo. I know you'll be sensitive about saying too much on here, do PM if you'd prefer.  

Are you all healed? Is DH back to work next week - how do you feel about that?
How's NG?

Love to you all.

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls!

How are you all? So sorry I have been AWOL again - I do always read though and think of you all very often   

How are you getting on Katie? Please tell me how easy it is with two!!    How has NG taken to having another little person around the place? Hope you are healing well and not feeling too immobile!

Chris - Have you made any further decisions about tx? Can totally understand your feeling of not quite wanting to give up yet!! And who said logic was the best reason to make a decision!?   

Dannii - How is your tx going? Is it OTD soon? Fingers crossed   

Monkeymoo - How are you feeling now? Did you manage to get an early scan?   

Not sure if Shrimper, Lyns, Loulou, SanFran are still reading - but lots of love to you girls if you are   

AFM, seem to be very busy all the time now. Nothing like a baby for a deadline to get things done, eh?!    Must admit, am feeling incredibly hormonal and emotional during this pg... don't recall feeling like this with F... Must be a girl    My temper is on a VERY short fuse, I cry at the drop of a hat - it's like having permanent PMT!! My mum does keep reminding me that 'I've been through a lot and to be kind to myself'.. bless Mummies - they always say the right things! Although I guess she does have a point - we all know how much stress being pregnant puts on your body (not that I am complaining, you all know that   ) but it's easy to forget the months prior to that... pumping your body with endless amounts of hormones and subjecting your emotional being to a battering!! Guess it's gotta come out somehow!

Anyway, enough of that moaning   

On a more positive note... Only 8 working days until mat leave - hooray!!       Really cannot wait - I am so ready to take a break from teaching. Not that I think looking after two kids and being a stay at home mum will be easy... but you know what I mean    

DH is off on another 'working holiday' (roughly translated as a 'jolly' in my world) on Tuesday - to Abu Dhabi    Lucky b*stard. Really hoping I am able to cope as a single parent in my current mental state for the five days that he is away! Plus my parents (who normally come and give me a hand for a couple of days when DH is away) are away on holiday then too - how selfish of them    Hmmm... holidays... I miss those!! Anyone planning on going away this year? 

Right, best be off - DH is cooking the tea tonight but am starving so need to nag him to hurry up   

Lots of Love to you all xxx miss you loads! xxxx


----------



## chrisgib

hi all,

Looks like everyone has gone their own way.

Pocket - how are you doing? Was your last day at work yesterday - or does 8 days mean another month of work?!
Really hope that lovely bump is doing well. When are you due - is it mid May?

MM - hope you're had your scan by now...?  Really hope it was all OK.

Dannii - are you OK - mid treatment?

Katie - you really must have your hands full. I hope you're all doing well and taking a moment or two within the world of sleep deprivation to look at your gorgeous little miracle. xxx

As for me - I'm trying to get in to holiday mode still, just restarted the diet and have started swimming this week. Really trying to learn front crawl, but i"m just rubbish at the breathing. I finally got round to phoning the clinic last week to book a follow up appointment, and also ask about a refund - I was only expecting a couple of hundred pounds, but they've sent back just over a thousand, so I'm happy with that. It's because they didn't have to do the assisted hatching.  Amazingly, my mother suggested that I put it towards the next treatment, so maybe it's not all over just yet. Anyone know if I can do an IUI with just one tube?

I really do often think of you all and miss you hugely. 

Christine
xxxxxxx


----------



## Monkeymoo

Hi chris great news about the refund. There's always hope x still no scan for me yet another two weeks to wait. Have had a mad week as sickness stopped so had a mini panic and took another test. Anyway, i should be getting ready for work. Take care mm x


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Chris - I know what you mean about maybe everyone has gone their own way    but I don't want this thread to be locked! It still feels like a bit of a security blanket    
Not finished work yet unfortunately    8 working days meant another month of work    but after this week at least I am down to 6 now   Bump is starting to really pop out now - lots of people have said this week how much bigger I have got (tact, eh?!   ) Am due 21/22nd May. Got my scan to see how my placenta is doing in a few weeks time.

How does DH feel about another lot of tx? How do you feel about it? Great news that the clinic refunded so much money. Are you planning on going away anywhere in particular? Sounds like your new fitness regime is well on the way! Have you heard of something called Tabata Training before? DH came home raving about it the other night (he works in the sports industry and is well into things like this   ) but my ears pricked up because it is only 4 minutes of intense workout three times a week!! Now that's my kind of s*it!! It is supposed to increase your metabolism and burn lots of fat.

MM - Good news that the sickness has stopped but totally understand your panic!! Do let us know how you get on at your scan.

Lots of love to you all xxx


----------



## Katie4

Noooo...please don't go! I miss you all too. 

Am up feeding, or supposed to be, but he's had a snack and fallen back to sleep. Sounds better then it should be- he's had green poohs for 5 days which is a sign of too much of the thin milk that comes first so he keeps filling up
On that and crashing back to sleep. Been told not to worry but of course you do! Google searching loads to see what I can do to help- best advice so far is feed repeatedly on one side - urgh, it's the sudden change that is stressing me out. Daft really as in all other respects he seems fine, and hv has told me not to worry but as usual I feel I know better and need to sort this put ASAP! 

Pr - three weeks and counting!!! So is your LO in his new room now? 

Mm - bless you worrying, glad the test reassured you. You'll feel better after the scan. Not much consolation right now though eh? 

Chris, you sound busy. Great news about the refund...sounds like there may be another cycle of some sort ahead for you  dont know about iui but I would imagine you could? Have you ever had clomid? 

Right, suppose I'd better sleep while he does and try not to dream of green pooh.

K x x


----------



## PocketRocket

Great to hear from you Katie - lovely to hear it's all going well! Did you dream of green poo in the end?!

Yep - three weeks and most definitely counting! LO is in his new room now but only in his cot. The bed is up and he has his bedtime milk whilst sitting on it and we read him a story on it too - but thinking about making the transition in the next couple of weeks - gulp!

Any tips that you girls have for the move would be much appreciated!

Other than that, no news from me. DH back from his travels tomorrow night thank goodness! Have actually thoroughly enjoyed having my baby all to myself so I'm not complaining, but am starting to feel a little weary now! Goodness knows how single parents do it!! Plus Bump kept me awake last night (think s/he has a growth spurt or something going on as it's all very achey at the moment!) which hasn't helped the tiredness!

Love to you all xx


----------



## chrisgib

Hi there,

PR - not sure I have any great advice on the bed thing as Holly wasn't very conventional. She went from a cot to a double bed just before she was 2 years old.  It started as she wanted to lie with me as she fell asleep, so then I just left her there! They are all so different though - do you think he'll keep getting out, or fall out, etc etc. Guess you'll just have to see what happens. Most stories I've seen seem to be positive though about this transition. I think moving from a grobag to a duvet is a bigger one!

Katie - are you Ok hun?  So worrying when things aren't quite as you expect. Is it still green?  Expressing before feeding is the only think I could think of - sounds a bit Gina-esque though!! Nothing wrong with needing to know more than the hv - follow your instincts with these things. 

Afm, af arrived today - yawn yawn.  Get so sick of thinking about all this stuff. DH has 'refused' to try naturally so far so at least I wasn't disappointed. Need to get him on board so to speak, but haven't got the energy. Focusing on getting myself in shape so maybe he'll be attracted the old fashioned way!!  Maybe I'll just go out and have a one night stand - ha, if only!!   

Love to you all. Missed you guys, lovely to have you back.

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Normal pooh has returned!!! Such a relief! Do feel the need to share though as no one but the la lache league gave the right advice or even really recognised the issue- although bonus points to Chris for getting v close!  basically he was latching fine, but Id suddenly got a lot more milk and coupled with a ferocious let down reflex the poor mite was basically getting a bucketful of fore milk and prob only a bit of hindmilk which was filling his tum. So, the options were to express a bit first but that would ultimately make me make more or, radically, feed repeatedly on one side. Basically this was important because when the boob is empty it sends hormonal signals which help to sort everything out. So, I've had a few uncomfy moments where it's been nearly 6 hours since I've fed on one side but it's worked. Ive only had two green nappies in the last 36hours! I did visit the go today to more to weigh him than anything else and he's gained weight which is a relief - no idea how considering how little time he's spent feeding in the last week but there you go! 

Sorry af is here Chris, that's a bummer - although possibly reassuring that everything is regular and ticking over? Shame dh isn't on board for ttc, honestly, you'd think these men had emotions too!! Lol

Pr we had a cotbed and I just asked ng if we should take the bars off and she said yes. She is quite good with rules though and we just said she was not allowed to get out of bed and she didnt- even now, she's in a proper bed and still shouts us to ask if she can get out if she drops something. We use a bed guard - do check the reviews for them before buying though as even if they say they are universal they may not be. Ours is a tomy one and has been quite good. 
You've done so well on your own...let us know what presents you get won't you? 

Am quite tired now...had a nap earlier with WA but was only an hour and have spent the afternoon with ng baking a cake (well, Betty Crocker lol!) as we are finally introducing Will to some friends. We've been so antisocial it's been great!  

Should go to sleep now - keep posting, I love the chatter xxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Katie - Glad you are feeling better about W's BFing issues    Must admit all that is an alien concept to me as I only managed it for 3 days with F as he wouldn't latch on and TBH, I hated it    Always used to feel bad for saying that but have got over myself now    Might persevere for a little longer with No 2 but have already bought some bottles so not sure if I'm kidding myself    
How has NG taken to having another littlelegs around the house?!
Your 'antisocial-ness' sounds lush!! I had a day at home with F on Wed - speaking to no one and being all snuggled up    It was lovely! Plan is to have another day like that tomorrow with F before Daddy comes home and becomes Favourite Parent again    

Thanks for the tips re: bed girls    We have bought a junior bed for him which actually has 'half' railings along each side so the bed guard won't be an issue as such as it is part of the bed. Strangely enough I'm not that worried about him falling out (obviously the railings help with that!) but as a boy he is quite hardcore and bumping his head is a regular occurence    but it's the getting out of bed that DH and I are dreading! He knows what his bed is for as he gets into it and crawls under the covers and says 'Seeeeping.. nun-night!' but whether or not he will stay there I don't know!! 

Will let you know if I get any presents for staying at home being a good mummy this week    but DH seems to think he has been too busy for shopping - god help him if he's telling the truth!! I won't be getting another diamond that's for sure    

Lovely to chat again - I've missed you all xxx


----------



## Monkeymoo

Hi everyone just a quick hello. In bed with a cuppa. Still feeling pretty wiped out most of the time. On top of that ds has been waking in the night v upset and its been difficult to settle him. Had him at gp today as we feel it may b reflux again and will b starting new meds tomoz.


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

MM - the tiredness sounds tough, but reassuring. I admire your patience though.   

PR  - is DS in his new bed yet?  How's it going?  From the way you describe him it sounds like he might be the sort to test his new found freedom. I'm sure he'll get the hang of it though. Did you get any 'good mummy' presents or does the diamond last time have to cover it for the next few trips?!

Katie - how are things? Tell us how NG is coping. How's the feeding going, and the sleeping of course?   

As for me, not much to report really. I've got my follow up appointment through for the 20th April so not saying never again just yet. My mum sent through some article about low dose IVF for older women too - although given my response on high doses not sure it's for me really.  Just one more week until we go to Cornwall. I've been calorie counting and exercising in a hope of getting in shape. Slow progress and I've managed to strain my neck from swimming, so on the hunt for painkillers.  Feel like I need to wear one of those collars to hold my head up!

Not much else going on for me. Hope all you lovely ladies are well.

Christine
xxx


----------



## chrisgib

Hi there, me again.

Hope you guys are out there cos I really need you. I really really really want to have another baby. I know that should be obvious, but this whole giving up and getting on with life, isn't sitting very comfortably at the moment.

Logic would say to give up, but I can't. I know DH won't want to do more treatment, but equally he's not playing ball with the trying naturally bit either, so what choice do I have! 

I feel so powerless. I feel so lost. Holly starting pre-school soon, I'll be home alone. Sounds blissful to most, but I'm dreading it. All my other friends are looking forward to time with no2 while theirs are at pre-school.  Today a new baby was announced on ** - I didn't even know she was pregnant. Out of my ante-natal group I am now the only one not to have/be expecting No2. I feel old and useless. 

Sorry this is all me me me. I know you've all got your issues, but think most of you have bumps/babies by now which is great. I just want to join your club.

I genuinely feel upset, desperate and panicky so had to come on here to have a rant. 

Would I be mad to have another go?  It's the only way I stand a chance of achieving my dream, but then is it just good money after bad? It's purely the finances that are stopping me, I don't care about the drugs etc.

Sorry guys. Love to you all.   

Christine
xxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh Chris   

Sorry to hear you are so down at the moment. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do - giving up and getting on with life is easier said than done... especially if it's not what you want!! It wouldn't sit right with me either.

And as for you feeling 'old and useless'... you might feel that way but you certainly aren't!!!   

If money is the only reason for you not going ahead with another lot of tx, then sod it - just do it. How do people achieve their dreams if they don't chase them? I don't think you are mad for wanting to cycle again - I'd think you were mad for not doing it, TBH!!

You know where we are         

PR xxx


----------



## sanfrancisco

Chris-haven't been on here for ages but wanted to give you a big  .I really do understand how you feel,my ds is exactly the same age as your dd and starts preschool after easter.I am also the only 1 in my baby massage group not to have a 2nd child,infact I suspect that a few will be ttc no 3 soon. 
It sounds as though you need to try again,if only money grew on trees ehh.
I was so depressed a few months ago and decided to change clinics and as I'm 40 soon decided to go to the best (and unfortunately most expensive!!!)clinic in the uk.We haven't got the money but have scrimped and saved.Am in the 2ww at the moment and have felt so looked after.It was the argc and honestly I  felt young there,I met quite a few ladies around our age who'd had bfp's 1st time .They identified immune problems which the other clinic did not believe in and treated me appropriately.
I'm not glorifying it at all,had to be there every day,not easy with a toddler and a 3hr train journey but I honestly feel that I have given it my best shot if nothing else.The only criteria they have is a fsh less than 10 on day 3(I think!)The cost however is astronomical,you need to budget 10k  ,but I do wish I'd gone there sooner than waste time and 12k in a nhs run fertility unit.

I know this is ridiculous amounts of money,but I felt I needed to go there for closure if nothing else.All Ican say is follow your heart and not you head,but please don't get into massive debt xx


----------



## Twopence

Oh Chris   

I know I said I was keeping away but I just wanted to send big   as I do have a quick read every now and then. It's funny but I was thinking of you today when I was at my eye test which is a bit random!! Maybe I was supposed to come and check on you. 

I don't know what to say to you. I just feel your pain completely. I am beside myself at the thought of DD going to pre-school to the point that I have thought about not sending her. She is just so fantastic at the moment and such good fun that I dont want to miss a second. I can almost feel the desperation in your post and it makes me feel for you so much.

For me this is what gets me through. I have no doubt that you feel the same and I cant offer any words of advice. I am sure you have considered counselling but would you go? Personally I have found it very useful. Very emotional at times but also very useful.

DH and I have stopped TTC at the moment as the time is just not right for us. We are trying to move and just don't have the funds and so I can feel your pain with that one as well. 

I really wish I could say something useful but you are the only one that can take control of your emotions and ease your pain. Talking will probably help you (after all, that is why you are here) and it might help you make sense of how you are feeling.

Good luck Chris and if you ever need to rant at a kindred spirit (in the same ttc boat and career boat   ) you know where I am

Lots of love xx


----------



## chrisgib

Hi PR, Sanfran and Shrimper,

Thanks so much for your replies and your support. Maybe I just need to choose my moment with DH!

Sanfran - the price doesn't sound mad at all - I'd pay any money if there was a real chance it would work. Even at my bristol clinic each cycle has cost about £6k, so it's not like we're at a cheap one anyway. Good luck with your cycle, I really really hope it works for you.   

Shrimper - thanks hun - sadly, I think we're both in the same place at the mo. Yes I've considered counselling, but just can't find the right time to go - there's always something else I'd rather be doing, and I'm expert at burying these things under the carpet.   I probably should try it, but if I've got to go to that darn clinic, I'd rather it was for treatment!

Pocket -   Thanks hun - think you're probably right.

I think I'm answering my own dilemma here - just need to convince DH and find at least £6k from somewhere. Think I'll see how our holiday(s) go and bring the subject up when DH is relaxed.
Breeding isn't meant to be like this - this is why I get so cross. Other people just have a quick   and that's that. Aaaaagh!

Thanks again for being there for me.

Christine
xxx


----------



## Monkeymoo

Just wanted to send big hugs chris. The other ladies have more or less summed up what i would have said. While ever there's a chance , go for it x


----------



## chrisgib

Thanks MM. 

I see from your ticker that you're 12 weeks today - is your scan today?  Good luck, I know how stressful these things can be. Do come on and share your news once you've been.

xxxx


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Oh Chris  I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way, its hard wearing the 'I'm fine, lifes fine, everythings perfect, oh goodness no i couldnt possibly have another baby I'm way too selfish for that' mask everyday. I know I've worn it for more than 7yrs now and to be bl**dy truthful I'm exausted! life's too short, go for it. we are all behind you I promise.

Hope all you fab ladies had a lovely Mother's Day, I think about you often x


----------



## Monkeymoo

Yes Chris. 12 Weeks today. My scan is on Monday at half 3.


----------



## Katie4

Chris sweetie, so sorry for the delay, ngs been ill for a week finally got antibiotics today though so
The end is in sight. 

I am so sorry you are in such a sad place and so pleased you've come on and shared. Dannis words are so v true, that mask is exhausting and dealing with the announcements is so hard, let alone rationalising your own constant stream of thoughts about it all. I had a very positive counselling experience but truthfully getting dh to agree was, as you will remember, the hardest thing of all - once we were on the same page facing the future was so much easier. He hated talking about it though- I'd insist every few months and it would be less than fun but it was part of the process for us. 

As for the £ - well, don't worry about that yet, talk to him first and then we'll all come up with ways you can raise the fees. 

I miss you all when this thread is quiet. You have been such an important part of our journey, listening when I felt utterly alone and devastated. Thank you, you bunch of very special ladies x

And please do let us know how your scan goes


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## Katie4

Just coming on to see how everyone is today. Have you all got sunshine? Makes such a difference doesn't it? Hooray, winter is over!!

Ng is finally better but still quite tired so napping in the afternoons. I should be but we've a party to go to so I can't sleep because I know I need to get up if that makes sense?! Hope Im not regretting it later when WA is up through the night! The clocks changing has thrown me too! Lol, you'd think id be used to it by now! 

Hugs to you all xx


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## Katie4

Mm hope yesterday went well xx


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## Monkeymoo

Hi everyone, hope you are all ok and enjoying the lovely weather.
scan went fine all ok. Measuring a week bigger than my calculations so i'm 13+3 and my due date is 29th sept. Which unfortunately clashes with my mums holiday. So goin to have to get something sorted for ds.


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## Katie4

Mm that's brilliant! And regarding the dates, do you have an idea when you ovulated? The reason I ask is they put me nearly a week ahead at my first scan but i knew exactly when i ovulated - he was just chunky! How big was DS at birth? 

So pleased for you, thanks for sharing  xx


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## lyns76

Hi Girls,

god i have so much to catch up with, not been on for sooo long !!

katie, huge congrats on your baby, so happy for you.

chris, hope you are feeling a little better, i know too well how hard it is, its devastating.  I say the same as the others, if you can save the money just go for it again, so preying that things work out very soon   

All you other ladies sorry for no personals, i am struggling to work out where everyone else is at cus i haven't been on so long but i wish you all the best.

As for me, went for my scan yesterday and all is well  , got a very wriggly baby on board and Monkeymoo i am one day behind you ! due 30th sept according to measurments which is the day after my birthday !
I too am now showing a week earlier so like katie said i suspect that he/she is just a chunk !

Cant believe i am finaly posting this.  Girls i want to thank you so much cus when i started this thread i really was in the lowest of places.  I have had many ups and downs but it's been so nice to go through it with people who understand.

Just preying that everything goes to plan.

Please girls dont give up on your dreams.

i will be on as and when i can but just trying not to focus too much on everything if that makes sense, i think trying to take my mind off the whole thin for some time did help.

take care all,

Lyns 
xxxx


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## PocketRocket

Lyns and MonkeyMoo -    What wonderful news! So so pleased for you both. Wishing you fantastically smooth pregnancies   

Katie - How are you doing? How is it having two little pickles running around?! Must admit, I am getting a little nervous about the prospect of having to deal with two    

Chris - How are you feeling today sweetie? Have there been any discussions with DH as yet? You know where we all are   

SanFran - When you last posted you were on the dreaded 2WW... have you reached the end of it yet? Thinking of you and praying for the news you deserve   

AFM, had my scan on Monday to check the position of my placenta and it has moved so another natural delivery for me, all being well. Am actually beginning to feel rather nervous about the birth    
Finished work yesterday too                which is a huge relief. Didn't feel sad or emotional (if we can cope on DH's wage then I won't be going back if I can help it!!) - it just felt 'right'. Have spent today being incredibly lazy and idle -      
LO's 2nd birthday next week - where has the time gone?! Just having four of his friends round for an Easter Egg Hunt and a little tea party. Their parents are good friends of ours so we're tying it in with a mini adult get together too   

Lots of Love to you all xxx


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## Monkeymoo

Hey everyone, hope ure all well. On phone so can't do personals v well. Not sure who asked, haven't a clue when i ovulated as i was just getting used to my cycle again. Ds was 7,6 at birth and a week over.


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## Twopence

Chris - how are you doing? Been thinking of you. 

AF coming today and it has just killed me. I am thinking of going on the pill (ironic eh?) just to stop the monthly heartache. I was in tears wtching DD eating her lunch. She is just such a perfect girl and makes me so happy. whay doesnt that stop the pain? Just the simple things in life with her make me so happy.

Sanfran - saw your BFP. Congrats   Hope all goes well and the ARGC don't keep on at making you feel bad for not being able to get there until next week.

MM and Lyns - hope you are feeling OK

PR - Have a fab birthday party.

I know I said I was disappearing off for a bit ladies and I am again. Just wantd to check up on Chris and the rest of you. Need to get my head on order and away from this hell for a while.

Love to all xx


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## Katie4

Oh shrimper, i remember wanting to go on the pill to take away the pain - huge hugs sweetie.

Sorry no more personals, hope to get on tomorrow to post. Xx


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## chrisgib

Hi everyone,

We've just got back today from a fabulous and very hot week in Cornwall. We were so so lucky with the weather, it was definitely a week of flipflops and suncream - bliss, and just what the doctor ordered.

i wouldn't say I'm any further forward with the whole treatment issue, but I did have a conversation with DH which is a step in the right direction. Even I don't know if tx is the right answer. We haven't really agreed a plan of action, but at least DH knows where I'm at, so we're going to see what the consultant says at our follow up appointment and go from there (does that sound like a plan?!). Logically, tx doesn't make much sense. So I'm also going to look at some counselling to help get my head around all this and maybe some closure. We would both love a No.2 - that hasn't and won't change. But equally we are so blessed with No 1, who has been an absolute dream this week - she has enjoyed every single minute of it. She even started swimming this week with no assistance/floats - a big milestone and I'm so so proud of her. 

My particular queries for the follow up appointment are around whether chlomid/iui are options, and also whether my late ovulation is an issue (about day 22) which may affect our natural chances. Any opinions welcome in advance of my appointment on the 19th. 

I'm going off to Wales for a few days this week to see my parents/siblings who are renting a house there - so will be AWOL again for a bit. 

Thanks again to all of your for your support. It really does help to be able to 'talk' to people who understand.

Sanfran - congratulations - I can see you're being cautious, naturally, but have everything crossed for you.   

Shrimper - I hope AF has passed and the pain has reduced. Wasn't sure if that was emotional or physical AF pain, but either way, hope it's gone. 

Katie - how are you coping - 6 weeks old now - bet you're knackered!!  (in a good way of course!)   

PR - hooray - no more work. hope you do nothing now, except for things you really want to do. Is all the decorating finished etc? Hope DH doesn't have any more trips booked.

MM, Lyns - keep up the good work!

Hi to everyone, sorry rushing as DH and DD will be home any minute. 

Love you guys.   

Christine
xxxx


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## sanfrancisco

Nice to see on here chris-enjoy your hols in wales(coming from a welsh girl )It is so difficult,life is so s--t,with all the jeremy kyle dimwits popping out babies everywhere and people like us who are good kind people who have a lovely child who so deserve to have a sibling.I don't really have any advice for you except for maybe natural ivf.I have got a bfp,but am not very positive as my hcg's aren't behaving(never had hcg's tested before,ignorance was bliss!)Trotting down to london everyday at the moment which to be honest I am finding very stressful and v expensive along with working and having a poorly ds and dh.If this pregnancy does not continue,as I suspect it won't,I doubt we will try again.The money pot is well and truly empty and with ds starting school logistically it would be a nightmare.I think I needed to do this cycle for closure.You have been through such a lot chris,I know I'm not as strong as you.God I SOUND NEGATIVE BUT i think this is what infertility does to us and makes us so self preserving.I would definitely recommend the argc though and wish i'd gone there 2 yrs ago when my eggs were perkier ::big  to you-always here for you when you need a chat xx

Pocket-hope your ok ,I bet your bump is massive!xx

Shrimper- to you too

Monkeymoo-good news about your scan,hope your feeling ok xx

Hi to everyone else xx


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## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

How are you all?

SanFran - Soooo pleased to hear about your BFP! Totally understand your caution though. Self-preservation is a bas*ard thing but we all understand and know exactly where you are coming from. Hoping and praying your little beanie sticks and your dreams come true    

Chris - Your holiday in Cornwall sounds heaven! So glad you had a break from it all and I hope you are enjoying your week in Wales. Wishing you the best of luck with your follow up appointment    Hopefully you'll come out of it with a clearer idea of what you want to happen - not  least having to discuss the nitty gritty with DH   

Katie - Hope you are well and WA has settled into a nice routine for you!   

Shrimper - Hope you're ok    Understand the need for a break from it all - you know where we are if you need us...

Monkeymoo - SO glad the scan went well... now please enjoy   

AFM, enjoying not having to be in work on a Monday morning    although it's the Easter hols for everyone so I shan't gloat too much until they are over and I feel as though I am the only one off work in the world   
We had DS's little tea party and Easter Egg hunt yesterday which was lovely - he really enjoyed himself and it was nice to catch up with our friends briefly! I have spent most of my morning scrubbing buttercream icing from our wooden floors but guess it could have been worse   

Lots of Love to you all xxxx


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## Dannii_Doots

Hello ladies 

just wanted to let you know that it was a BFN for me


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## chrisgib

Oh Dannii -   

I'm so sorry - it's so painfully disappointing, I really hope you and DH can give yourselves time to recover.  

I won't try and give you the positives out of all this, as at the moment I imagine you're both feeling really crap. Do come on here if you need to vent though - we've all been through it one way or another.

Thinking of you.

   

Christine
xx


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## Katie4

Danni, I am so so sorry sweetie. Been thinking of you and hoping so much for a different outcome. Huge hugs x x


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## Dannii_Doots

Thankyou both so much  I still havent had a bleed since I stopped the medication, think the tears may fall then  Any idea when af will come?

love to you both x


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## Katie4

Oh danni, I think sometimes it can take a little while but know all the time I'd be hoping for a change of fate and a late implanter. I'm so, so sorry hun. It's just so unfair. 

Chris, how's you? When's the follow up apt?

Pr - how are you and the bump?


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## PocketRocket

Oh Dannii :0( I'm so sorry. It's so unfair. Take some time sweetie and do what you want to do. Thinking of you.

Chris - How are you doing?

Katie - How's things your end?

All ok here - on countdown now! Operation Nesting & Sorting has begun ;0) Bump getting bigger and wrigglier. Midwife said s/he is back-to-back at the moment so am bouncing on my birthing ball most evenings to try and shift the little blighter!

Hope you're all well. Miss you guys xxxx


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## Twopence

Oh Dannii - I am so sorry for you. I am totally gutted for you. I hope you are being kind to yourself. It is so, so hard.   

I keep an eye on all of you ladies and just wanted to send you my love

xx


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## lyns76

hi ladies,

Dannii - big hugs    i know no words at the moment will make you feel better, give yourself time to heal xxxx

hope everyone is doing ok, trying to pop on when i can and try and keep up with everyone.
busy at the mo planning my little mans 4th birthday, although he has turned into the child from hell over the past week, i think and hope its just the boredom of the easter hols and the fact that he his missing his chums from pre school !!!

Lyns

xxxx


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## Katie4

Hi lyns, lovely to hear from you. Sorry LO is playing up, ng is v temperamental at the mo too but our nursery doesn't have hols to explain it away. Think she might be growing tbh, some days she eats all the time. 

Danni thinking of you xx

Pr v exciting time for you sweetie, enjoy.

Chris, how's things? 

Here we are pretty normal I think. Dh camped out in the spare room, WA and I in our room (a sleep deprived dh is worse to deal with than a tired toddler in our house!) we have no feeding regime, just get as much in him in the day in the hope of a few hours kip at night. Best stretch yet was 5 hrs but was a one off! I never got the hang of the dream feed with ng and am in the same boat now as last time which is we both pass out between 8-9 and then are up btwn 12-1 but as that's the best chunk of sleep i get the thought of setting my alarm for 11 just fills me with horror!😳😳😳😳😳 plus WA seems like ng which is when they are asleep they have no interest in boob, wont even entertain it going in! 

Was hoping he'd spontaneously do a longer stretch as ng did at 9 weeks/11lbs...WA is probably 12lb now but not 9weeks till tomorrow and technically he was about 10days early so I think it will be a while yet before I'm celebrating that milestone. 

Right, must get out this morning for the sake of matrimonial harmony!


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## lyns76

Katie, i feel for you with the sleep depravation ! i too breast fed harry and it does seem harder to get into a feeding regime.  I can remember all my friends that bottle fed their children would know exacly when next feed was etc but Harry would only go an hour or two sometimes and someday i felt like he was constantly attached to my booby ! it does all seem to fall into place in the end though doesnt it, i loved feeding him myself so much that i breast fed until he was 14 months and i only stopped then because he had a lot of teeth come through !!!!

My little man was 6 months until he slept through and that was only because i tried the three night crying thing, it was so upsetting at the time but it def worked, i think sometimes attaching to the breast can be more of a comfort thing for baby rather than a feed at times.

hope everyone else is doing ok, keeping fingers and toes crossed for some more BFP news very soon xxxxxxx


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## chrisgib

Hi all,

Sleeping through - Holly's only just doing that, and then only about 50% of the time and she's 3!  Always some reason or other to wake!    I would never have been able to hold down a proper job, but then maybe I'd have been tougher if I'd had to go back to work.   When they're tiny though, just go with the flow otherwise it all gets on top of you I"m sure.

San Fran, MM, Lyns - hope you're all doing well.

Katie - despite the fatigue I hope you're OK and that NG is coping well. 

PR - all set?  Bet you're bricking it by now and just wanting him/her to arrive. Being pregnant is lovely most of the time, giving birth less lovely for most!  Good luck, hope your scans etc have shown that things are as they should be.

Dannii - how are you doing hun?   Any thoughts on what next?

We had our follow up appointment today - looks like is really is the end of the road for us. Basically told that DE is the only practical option now. He reckoned that I had a 1% chance of conceiving naturally, IUI would make that 2% and that a further ICSI would be about 10%. I asked all my questions about egg quality, ovulation times, luteal phases, chlomid (which he said he'd give me if I wanted it) etc etc - but nothing gave me the answers I was after.  I might actually have to accept that my dear darling gorgeous 'Holly Dolly' will have no siblings to play with.  I know logically that's the answer, but I'm still cross about my m/c's last  year - to have got so close is just so cruel. But hey, I am where I am now and can't change the past.  So what do I do now? Guess trying naturally is the only option (neither me or DH are keen on D'E, would feel differently if didn't have Holly but feels wrong to have one that is 'us' and one that isn't.) Sorry I'm rambling now.

As much as it pains me to say, think this might be the last from me - not sure how to move on but i have to. I will of course be lurking to keep an eye on all your bumps/babes. Thank you so much for being there for me, through thick and thin.

 

Christine
xxx


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## PocketRocket

Oh Chris - so sorry that the consultant couldn't give you the news you so wanted (and deserve) to hear    I understand your reservations about DE - as you say, if Holly wasn't conceived using both you and DH then maybe it wouldn't seem such an alien concept, but I see where you are coming from.

Gutted for you    I really am. It's so not fair. 

Understand your needing to write your 'last' post too    I don't like the thought of this being your last one, but I get where you are coming from. Thanks for all of your support over the past couple of years too      

I am well - thank you for asking. Just fat and heavy! All set I think.. and yes, I am quite nervous about the birth but I thank my lucky stars everyday that I am in this position so I'm not about to start moaning about it   

Lots and lots of love and luck to you Chris - I hope that you are able to move on to a happier place sooner than you think... not least I hope that there is one particular angel up there who is preparing you a little miracle as I type...   

Hope the rest of you are well and happy   

Pocket xxxx


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## Katie4

Oh Chris. You must do what is right for you but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss you terribly. Your post has made me cry, it's just so unfair. And while it's important that you have realistic expectations its so hard not to remember there are lots of babies who statistically shouldn't be here. 

You've been an amazing "pretend" friend (as my dh calls you all!) and I wish so much things were different. 

With lots and lots of love and strength for the coming days 

Katie xxx

Ps I'm less tired after an easier night - thank you for asking. And like pocket, I know how lucky i am, I'm not complaining and think like you and lyns suggest, I'll just try to go with the flow. Xx


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## Monkeymoo

Huge hugs chris my heart goes out to you. From reading your posts feel you are a really strong, kind and special lady. I hope you and dh get through this difficult time and look forward to many years of love and laughter with your dd. I do also hope you get your miracle xxx
afm i'm now 16+ 5 and feeling ok now ms has stopped. But tired at the mo as ds up in night coughing. I really should have been in bed earlier but am having a rare night infront of the tv on my own as dh already in bed.
take care mmx


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## chrisgib

I'm crying more about saying goodbye to you lot than anything else.   

It might take me a little while to disappear properly.   

 

Christine
xxx


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## Katie4

You don't have to go you know, not unless it's making things easier.


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## sanfrancisco

Chris-I am so upset for you,you so deserve to have a sibling for dd.I am always around and always feel free to pm me.Do keep trying naturally though because you really never know.I can understand your feelings about DE,me and dh have also discussed this and it is so difficult and even more so when you have a biological child.We also discussed adoption but again felt this was'nt for us.Give it time,your feelings may change,but massive  to you and please keepin touch xx

Pocket-your pregnancy has gone so quickly!I can remember the feeling,a mixture of nervousness and excitement xx

Katie-how are you coping with two-you sound in control! welldone xx

Monkeymoo-16 weeks already,glad your feeling better xx

Danni-sorry about your news 

Lynn-Hope your well and ds is giving you a bit of peace now he's back in school 

Well I'm still pregnant I think?although haven't had a scan since 6 weeks and petrified that beanie has stopped growing.Have made an appt with gp on monday  to register pregnancy and maybe try a little sob story to try and get another scan.To say I'm petrified is an understatement,I was'nt like this with ds at all,I think I'm in denial,and had really given up and never thought it would happen for us again.DS started school this week,he loves it,and i have'nt shed a tear ,which is not like me!I think it is probably because we've got one on board(I hope)  

Hi to everyone I've not mentioned,sorry I don't post often,but I do read and know what's going on xx


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## Katie4

San Fran that is terrific sweetie!!!! Well done you. So glad you told us. 

And coping?! Erm surviving is probably a better description! 😄 sleep deprivation is a killer and literally I can go from feeling like everything's hunky dory to a gibbering tearful wreck and back again depending on how much sleep I've had😱😱😱😱

Although the age gap might not be what you planned having #1 at school will make ita bit easier - ng is in nursery 2.5 days and I def need the quiet time with WA 

Big hugs

K x 

Ps hope your gp is sympathetic x


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## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Hope you are all ok today   

SanFran, just wanted to pop on quickly to say how pleased I am that Beanie is still there!! So how far gone would you be now? And it's perfectly normal to be petrified/anxious/in denail about number two... I was like that for ages - probably still am a little if I am honest!! As you say, you're so in shock that it's happened again that you're too frightened to believe it 'just in case'... but give it time - before you know it you'll be sat there with the laptop three miles away from you because your belly is too big to bring it nearer, whilst suffering from horrific heartburn and gulping Rennies like they are going out of fashion!!! (guess what I am doing...?!?!?)   

Lots of Love to my FFs - will post properly soon xxxx


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## sanfrancisco

Well ladies 12 week scan went well this morning,it's official now I suppose 

Pocket-not long now,I bet your getting nervous 

Katie-how's the sleep deprivation going?

Monkeymoo-hope the pregnancy is still going wellxx

Danni-hope your ok 

Chris-I have pm'd you  

Hi to everyone I've missed,hope your ok xx


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## PocketRocket

SanFran... That is wonderful news!! Well done you! Totally understand your reticence but I believe you should try to relax and enjoy your little miracle now my lovely!

Keep us informed of what will be a smooth pregnancy :0)

All ok here thanks... Very fat and waddley now - keen to meet this little person soon...

Lots of love to you all xxxx


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## Monkeymoo

Congrats on getting to 12 weeks sanfran.

hi everyone hope you are all well.

I am 20wks tomorrow and have my scan next tuesday and will hopefully find out the flavour

MM xx


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## chrisgib

Brilliant - we've got you all at critical stages!  3 months, 20 weeks, and about to drop! Ha ha (sorry PR if that sounded awful - just made me chuckle.)   

Hope it all goes smoothly whichever milestone you're at.

I'm leaving for my hols this afternoon so had better get packing.

love to you all.

Christine
xxx


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## Monkeymoo

about to drop lol if only it was that easy   

Have a good holiday Chris


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## Katie4

Sanfran that is simply fantastic. Well done sweetie. What a rollercoaster hey? Hope you can breathe a little easier now. 

Monkey - omg 20weeks. That's flown for me, although WA is 12 weeks and a good 14lb now so that might explain how I've lost a few weeks!

Pr hope you've got dh around for extra support over the weekend. Are you all ready now? What treats are in your hosp bag? One thing a fellow ff-er recommended to me was frozen cartons of juice. I kept them in a cool bag and brought them out half an hour before I needed them, the hosp was so hot they were like nectar!

Chris, have a terrific hol.

Danni, hope you are ok hun. And Lou if your still reading big hugs

Lyns, hope you are getting on ok

I am v sleep deprived and hoping for at Least a couple of hours in one go tonight. Should do, it's rare to have two really tough nights back to back. Famous last words.....😄


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## lyns76

Hi Girls,

thought it had been a little quiet on here so nice to see some posts.

Great news on everyones scans ets.

I had mine last week and all is ok although i need to go back week after next so they can scan a bit more.
Little bean wasnt playing ball and was face down so they just want to check the heart chambres and kidneys/bladder as they couldnt get him to flip over to check them !  bit deflating as i was hoping to get it all done then but she said its very common, around 1 a day get called back as they cant get a good enough look.
Will be glad when its all done so i can relax a liitle and start buying some things.

very fat now and cant stop eating but not complaining one bit as never thought i would be in this position again.

Hope everyone is doing well......not long now pocket, so exciting !!!!

Lyns
xxxx


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## traceytbird80

Hi ladies 

just wondered if I can join in could really do with some support and think you ladies will understand.  We were so lucky with our first isci and now have a beautiful 16 month old little boy and are going for number 2.  I had 1 blast thaw and transferred 2 days ago really thought I would find things easier this time round with having little one but I am finding it really hard work looking after him and trying to rest.  How did you other ladies copes with it.  I also feel so scared and annioux this time as we were so lucky before had anyone else had sucessful cycle and then another sucessful cycle afterwards for number 2.  Sorry to rant but really struggling in morning lifting little one out of cot dh takes him at a 5 when he goes to work but he just wakes and is then up and about from 5 which is what is is taking is out of me dont know now whether to just lift him myself or maybe take bars down as he can get around now and is 16 months old any reccomendations.  Like I said sorry for going on and we are so so grateful to have little one but until your there its hard to emagine to hard work that goes with wonderful moments.

Looks like this is a very positive thread with some of you months into preg just wishing everyone well will have a read through to get to know you better.

monkeymoo - think we cycled together in 2010 my little one was born in december so good to hear positive results again so pleased for you and gives us some hope 

tbirdx


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## Monkeymoo

Hi tbird my ds was born dec 2010. I'm finding it difficult looking after ds as much. Dh has him through the day as i am at work. But i do still lift him out of cot and highchair of dh isn't around to help. If it helps you and doesn't cause too many problems take the sides down on the cot. I know it not a brilliat suggestion but if it means you get a hour sat on the sofa stick on cbeebies or a dvd. Good luck mm xx


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## traceytbird80

hi

monkeymoo - thanks for that its nice to know someone else understands just    now 

tbird xx


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## Katie4

Hi tbird, welcome. 

I'd say just lift as little as possible- my dd was older when I found Out ds was on the way but my pelvis is v dodgy in pregnancy so literally had to re think almost every activity- so cuddles happened sat on the stairs rather than with me lifting her, we got a little stool and used that for getting her in and out the bath, I still held her hand but wasn't taking her full weight. Also, for daytime naps, could you have some blankets on the floor as a mat? or is containment an issue? 😄(our nursery uses floor mats for naps) 

Dont worry too much though, lots of ladies have older ones to care for and have positive cycles despite lifting xxx


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## traceytbird80

katie - hi and thanks for the advise I know what you mean about having to rethink how to do things.
We took the bars down on ds cot and put a bed guard up and pillows on the floor just in case he loved it going to bed all by himself bless first night slept through until 8.45 we both felt so much better last night ended up on the pillows once so had to be put back in bed so just taking each day but least he is not getting disturbed at 5am this way 

hope everyone is well 

tbirdxx


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