# BFN and friend announced pregnant



## warbabe (Aug 17, 2005)

Hi,
Feeling really down at the moment. I got my latest BFN this week and the next day I got a message from a friend that said, 

'i'm bloody pregnant again! It was not planned at all was mortified at first but you have to get on with it don't you!!! '

I couldn't believe it, what I would give to be in her shoes. She know's we've been having treatment for years, although she didn't know about the recent one when she sent the message. 

Anyway, along with that another friend keeps asking to meet up and she is 8 months pregnant. I can't face it being around her and know it's ruining our friendship since keep making excuses not to meet up.

Don't feel like I have any friends that understand and as such avoiding them all and losing friendships as a result.

I now it could be worse, but just feel lonely at the moment.
Warbabe


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## SleepyT (Aug 13, 2008)

Hi Warbabe. I'm so sorry for your BFN. It's so hard to face bumps and pregnant people. And to get a text with those words is fairly sickening. If she knows you've had tx before, you could give her benefit of doubt and say maybe she didn't know how else to tell you and thinks by making it apparent that she didn't plan this would somehow make it easier for you to hear? I don't know girlfriends are funny. I never know whether they mean well or just don't think?

I can't do it at the moment either. One of my close friends had her 2nd child 2 days before my test day and the result was going to determine if I went to see her or not! How bad is that?? I sent a card in case. Got the BFP but then lost. I still haven't seen her and don't know when I'll be up for it really. I do have the slight excuse that she lives quite far away and I can never get up there but truth is I just can't listen to how awful the labour was and how tired she is blah blah. (Cos this is the friend who rubbed it in that again this one was concieved first month they tried. My best friend was there and nearly smacked her one cos she kept repeating it over and over - and she knows we've been trying 4 years.) So I can't be ar5ed!

It's very hard not to push them away isn't it? You need to do what's right for you though. Weigh it up - if it means you'll lose your closest friends maybe see them one a time, when you're ready, and explain how hard it is but that you cherish their friendship just need them to try and understand what you're going through. I'm sure they'll give you a big hug and promise to be more thoughtful. (I hope so for you). 

Sendin you lots of hugs from me too     
Try not to feel lonely sweet   xx


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## warbabe (Aug 17, 2005)

Hi SleepyT - I've just read your reply at work and it has made me cry. How embarrassed am I, it's a good job everyone is on lunch....now I've run out of tissues.
Many thanks for your kind words.
I'd better go and sort myself out!
Warbabe


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## SleepyT (Aug 13, 2008)

Oh noooo - I'm sorry warbabe - didn't mean to make you cry! (this IF lark is hard work isn't it??)  

Anyway, you're welcome. Always here to chat, me! Haha.
Spk soon xx


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## ernie (Sep 25, 2008)

Ooow. That wasn't very thoughtfull was it? 

I know what you mean about meeting up with pregnant freinds I'm the same. But once they've had the baby I'm ok. Strange. 

Keep your chin up it WILL happen.

Ernie


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## kerribluecat (Nov 20, 2006)

hi 
i totally understand a friend has announced shes preg again too, first attempt naturally!!!!!!we met through us both having our DS ant at a baby group,  Once i fell preg etc i forgot about IF and felt 'normal' like everyone else...until the whole 2nd baby syndrome kicked in! shes fab and i love the fact we have made friends, but now knowing shes growing makes me feel crap!!!
i know i have to see her as my DS is buddies with her DS, its so tuff though

and whos sick of hearing ....' what will be will be!!!!', if i hear that one more time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!arrggghhhhhhh!!!!
they truelly no matter how sympathetic just dont understand IF
xxxxxx

i found out i got BFN on the wed, then had to see another frind the following day, sat there holding her 4 week daughter!!!!!!, i blew her out when she had her first as i was waiting IVF and it came to blows so i put on a smiley face and had a quick cuppa..after all friendship is what we all need and i know its not her fault xxxx

kerri xxxxx

stay strong xxxx


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## warbabe (Aug 17, 2005)

Hi,

Thanks for all your messages - at least I know I'm not the only one who feels like this, and it's quite normal when dealing with IF. 

Got some good news today though, I can have another IUI on the NHS and start next cycle (Whenever that will be, I've never been blessed with regular cycles!). So I'm back to positive thinking, and that I will be pregnant in 2008, although another Xmas without a child.
I've got to decide if I go and meet my pregnant friend on Wednesday - still not sure what to do?
Also I've got a family Christening this weekend, which not looking forward to. I use to love family gatherings seeing all my niece's and nephews, but not any more. I get jealous of my sisters with their family's, and hearing the kids shout 'mummy'. I wished one day I will be at one with someone shouting 'mummy' to me instead of 'Aunty'.
Take Care,
Warbabe


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## SleepyT (Aug 13, 2008)

That's excellent news, best of best of luck!
I was getting out of the bath this morning thought "wonder if Warbabe spoke to her friends" haha. If you feel like seeing her then do and maybe off the back of good news you might be ok with it. But she's not going anywhere so if you don't feel ready then maybe wait until you do.

Have to tell you about the nightmare that was Sunday! I had a Christening. Not to do your head in - I'm sure yours will be better! But I didn't prepare for it at all! It wasn't my family or friends, it was DH's - little bro's - in-laws (does that make sense?) and whilst I know them really well, I was more worried about who I'd kinda talk to/sit with etc. Didn't really think about the baby thing cos I thought I was fine!!!  
But there were a few there that I didn't expect - one bloke from school who was not the fathering type at all. Sat at the next table with his new baby and I'm not joking, he never left the buggy all day. He sat there doting on his little boy all day long. I was so touched but found it really hard cos it was clear to me that it must be an amazing love you feel for this bundle. He just not this type of bloke and even though he had mates there, they had to come over to him - he literally stayed with his girlfriend and baby all day.
But the killer was beginning of the day I walk in to the church and sit down. 2 rows in front of me is my ex boyf of 5 years (from age 16-21, he's still sort of special to me but I never see him much) with his new wife and brand new baby.
Felt sick. Sick sick sick, get me out of here.
Had no idea he'd be there although it made complete sense as Christening baby's dad and I and ex all went to school together.

Anyway I could go on and on cos the day just went from bad to worse but it was honestly only that I had none of my friends there. My SIL and I are close but she left early and DH was off talking to people he hadn't seen in ages. (Needless to say harsh words were said Sun evening and serious grovelling going on since hehe)

I'm sorry for ranting on - it was just a big shock to the system. Here's me thinking I'm fine and getting over it but I would not have felt like that before tx. I know I wouldn't. It magnifies and enhances everything.

God I have just seen how much I've written. Sorry everyone. Warbabe I'm delighted about your up-coming IUI...bring on AF haha! xx


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## warbabe (Aug 17, 2005)

No need to apologies for the rant...the christening sounded like a nightmare, so completely understand. 

Anyway whilst I'm waiting for next treatment I've got out the ovulation sticks for this month - who knows miracles do happen, I've seen the evidence on this site. 

I've just told DH though that I've read on here that 4am is the best time for  , which he looked none too pleased about..haha...

Warbabe


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## SleepyT (Aug 13, 2008)

Really, 4am? Oooh good to know - wonder why that is? 

(Maybe that's why girls get pg from one night stands! And being drunk! Makes sense now!)


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