# Work and ivf!



## Princessbubs (Jan 17, 2013)

Hi ladies,

Can anybody help or has anyone been in the same situation as myself? I have had two ivf cycles this year and my doctor has signed me off work for a month each time.i gave the notes to my work. But they want to know what is exactly wrong.when I have been signed off my doctor kindly put something that was not ivf related.

I had some test results come back for hidden c etc and it showed postive for a couple of them. I got really upset for some reason and had to come home from work!i could hardly talk for crying. My work has now said they want to write to my doctor to find out the reason why. I've told them it is personal but that doesn't matter! I don't want my work to find out. Where do I stand with this!?

P.s I have no hr department and nothing is kept quiet at my work the boss can't keep his mouth shut and nothing is private and confidential! Im concerned as I have more treatment abroad coming up, and I can't take it off as holiday as it is in the month where it's already fully booked.i have the hotel and flights books already!

Xxxxxxx


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## Riley12 (Aug 12, 2013)

Hi,

I will PM you if that's ok?

Riley x


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## FlyingCat (Jan 23, 2011)

Hi Princessbubs,

Sorry to hear you're having to deal with this - it really does feel so unfair.

A quick google (I'm not a lawyer) identified the following:
- An employer does have the right to ask you what's wrong, however not from the doctors, only from you. And if your doctor has already certified something else then why would the story change. Suggest you call your GP and ask them how they respond to such requests but my expectation is that unless you give your permission the GP will not give out any information at all.

- Your boss has a duty to keep personal information private and confidential. If you told him you could remind him of this and you'd be within your rights to sue him if he said anything to anyone about this.


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## Princessbubs (Jan 17, 2013)

Yes, that's great thanks Riley xxxx

Thanks for googling flycat,
I have called the doctor and waiting or him to call me back.Last time I was signed off my boss told everyone the reason why.even though I told him it was private and confidential!

Xxxxx


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## ElsieF (Nov 26, 2009)

Princess, 


Your boss sounds a bit of an   But saying that, he is your boss and therefore in charge of whether you are employed or not! 


Legal rights and things aside, it may be that you need to try and build a better relationship with him? 


The best way to do that is to be totally honest, and come to some agreement about your treatment schedule. I realize that this could be very difficult / impossible depending on him, and the company you are working for.. But the agreement I had with my first boss when I was doing intensive cycles, we agreed that I could take 6 weeks off a year (2 weeks per cycle); 2 weeks would come from my holidays, 2 would be paid 'special leave' and 2 would be unpaid leave. Being honest with him meant that I only needed 2 weeks each time because I could change the dates at the last minute and it wasn't a problem.


Tbh, I am not sure if telling him is the best way forward for you, seeing as he is such an   , I just thought I would tell you what I did as an example of how it could be worked out. 
And honestly, if I were employing someone who took a whole month off sick every now and then, I would want to know what was wrong. Not least because it could be cancer or something, so the person might need extra support - but also from a business point of view, I would like to be able to know in advance so I could arrange cover etc. 
just sayin'....
Maybe you could discuss it with your GP and come up with something that would put your bosses mind at ease, and also give him and idea of what is coming  up re your sick leave?




Good luck!


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi Princess,

Sorry you find yourself in this dilemma, I just wondered why you were signed off for a whole month for each cycle?  Was your clinic far away?  

I think Elsie has made some valid points.  Where I worked previously, we would have been referred to occupational health if we had that much sick off, so then things would have been quite complex and the fertility treatment would have been impossible to hide. 

Your boss was out of order telling people why you were off, but I think going forward you need to think things through as to how you will take time of for treatment.  Because this way it seems may cause you more stress and is obviously not going down well with your employer.

When I had my first cycle I continued to work throughout.  Appointments were made in the morning and I just made the time up.  I then had two days sick for egg collection.  Luckily my cycle worked, but apparently my employer were in the process also of putting a policy in place for time off for fertility treatment.

I can't really add much else, but you want as less stress as possible really.

Good luck
X


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## MissT (formally MissTurneriffic) (Mar 10, 2012)

I had a lot of time off sick with depression before starting my fertility treatment and my work as a duty of care asked me to sign paperwork to access my medical records. They needed to do this to 1) make sure I wasnt skiving as they pay me for being off. 2) make sure it wasn't work related and 3) they have a duty of care to see if there is anything they can do to assist me in my ill health.

During my treatment I didn't take time off sick I worked through and just took time off for appointments and scans etc. I was honest with my work and told them about my ivf and they had to legally keep that confidential.

You can take them to a tribunal if they disclose personal info but I think they are entitled to see your medical history if you have regular persistent sickness.

Maybe you should tell them the reason for the sickness but make it clear you will be making a formal complaint if they do not keep it confidential?

I don't know where you'd stand in tems of refusing them access to your medical notes though but as I said in my case they were doing it for my benefit. I ended up getting more care and support from them afterwards,

Good luck xxx


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## Riley12 (Aug 12, 2013)

Your work *do not* have the right to access your medical records unless you give them permission.

However, if your work performance is suffering or your sickness is at an unacceptable level and you do not grant permission for a report your employer is perfectly entitled to base any future actions they take on the information they have. You could therefore find yourself being 'managed out' based on attendance and performance. There's a lot more I could type on how they could do it but I won't bore you.

The only way you could approach the confidential issue is to leave and claim constructive dismissal based on the fact you were unable to continue to work for your employer: again there are a couple of ways to approach this. You do need to stress to your employer, in writing, that sharing personal information about you, is completely unacceptable and must not happen again: this will be 'evidence' if you ever need to take things further.

Has your employer got a policy in place i.e. they will ask to contact your doctor after 3 consecutive absences or something similar? Have they explained why the medical certificates from your GP haven't been good enough? I would just have to say the word "Gynecology" in here and they'd run for the hills: one benefit of working with all men!

I am unable to tell my employer about the IVF treatment BUT as someone has posted here being honest sometimes results in a great outcome and you get more support than you may have expected.

If you have any specific questions feel free to PM me.

Riley x


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## Riley12 (Aug 12, 2013)

Look for "Access to Medical Reports Act 1988" this details when and how an employer can approach your GP and your rights.

Good luck,

Riley x


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## Princessbubs (Jan 17, 2013)

Thanks everyone,

My work have always said my work is fantastic and I do double the amount of everyone else but I'm being completely honest here my company is terrible. I have never worked in a place like it before!People leave every month, new people will start then go. They treat people terribly. There is no hr or personnel. My boss does not even say hello or goodbye when certain people greet him. There is so much more I could write but it would take pages to go through! A lady was pregnant at my work and had to be hospitalized but didn't want anyone to know as it was very early and did not know whether she wanted to keep the baby!not for me to judge!!! And guess what he told everyone! She told him it was completely private and confidential! My doctor has put gynecological reasons on my sign off slip and guess what he told everyone! And he kept wanting to know exactly what was happening with my gynecological issues!!!! I just do not trust my work, it's a terrible company to work for. I won't even go into health and safety! I feel so trapped! As I feel I can't leave with the 2 months I've been signed off for!as an employer won't take me on especially as I'm starting my treatment soon! Xxxxxx


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

The other thing and i may be wrong about this but don't think i am, is that having fertility treatment is seen as a life style choice.  So effectively your life style choice is effecting your work, i believe that this can lead you into trouble itself.


I had 6 weeks off work as i work in Devon and had to go to a clinic in London as i needed pgd.  I pre arranged this time off with my boss, 2 weeks holiday, 2 weeks toil taken and then finally 2 weeks sick.


Personally i think its about damage limitation now.  I would tell my boss but under strict instructions that its not repeated.  I think i would email him and expect an email back confirming his confidentiality on this subject.  I would then hope to put a plan down about being able to move forward with your next lot of treatment.  xx


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Sorry you're in this position Princessbubs. 
Coweyes is right - sort of. Some (many) unenlightened employers see it as lifestyle choice and won't allow time off, but many more forward thinkging employers have IVF policies now. It'as not hard to tell what yours comes under! It's worth mentioning that there have been challenges around gender discrimination and IVF (since it's almost always the women who need time off while men are less affected) and opinions are starting to come down on the side of allowing a reasonable amount of time.

I think you have three options. First is to tell him in no uncertain terms that the exact details of your condition is your concern and, given his lack of confidentiality in the past, you have just cause not to share any further. Second is to tell him the truth but make sure he knows it is NOT to be discussed and if anyone else find out about it you'll know it's him and will take legal advice. Third is to just lie to him and tell him that it's a something like PCOS or endometriosis or something like that so it's sort of half way true. If he then goes and blabs to your work mates it becomes something of an exercise in misdirection and perhaps stops the nosey questions.

I would not worry overly about your sickness record though, if that's the only thing putting you off applying for other jobs. If this cycle is a BFN (hopefully not) then I would look elsewhere if you want. You can always explain the absences as planned operation / gynae related and, if an employer thinks it's a resolved issue it should not put them off taking you on and, by the time you're ready to cycle again you will have had chance to prove yourself as a valued employee.  

C~x


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