# New to this but need some support



## HQ1 (Aug 19, 2011)

Hi

I have been reading forums on here for a few months now but finally got up the courage to put up a posting. We have been TTC since Dec 09,  after almost a year and several tests found out had mild PCOS and after an injury my DH has low mobility sperm. I have been taking Clomid for almost a year and have just completed my 1st IUI - unfortunately had a BFN on Fri. I feel like this is taking over my life and I can't cope with the devastation every month. My DH is trying his best to support me but sometimes you just need to speak to someone else who understands the feeling of utter emptiness. We have been told we can have at least 3 IUI procedures but I just feel we are getting further and further down the road. I am 32 which my clinic keeps telling me is really young but it doesn't feel it to me. We have decided to have a month of just having fun to try and take the pressure off.
It would be great to hear from anyone who is going through the same thing and may be show me there is light at the end of the tunnel!!!


----------



## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

to FF, HQ1!!! This is a great website for support, information, laughter and friendship, it has kept me (relatively!) sane though all my treatment. Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you.

I am so sorry to hear about your BFN. I totally understand what you are going through. I think you are doing the right thing, sometimes you just need a break to get yourself together before you attempt the next cycle. I was a right wreck after my 4th treatment, I couldn´t even go out of the house because seeing families was too emotional for me. I even left Ikea in tears because it seemed everyone in there was pregnant. After 3 months break I was recovered and emotionally ready to try again and after another BFN we got a BFP! We have a Post Negative Cycle Support section ~ CLICK HERE which you may be interested in, and also a Negative Cycle Follow up Questions ~ CLICK HERE for when you eventually go back to your clinic (this is for ICSI so you will have select the questions that are applicable).

I actually agree with your clinic 32 is young, I was 38 when my daughter was born and we have many people who have had successful treatment in their 40s.

Here are a couple of links that I think might help you.

IUI ~CLICK HERE

Male factors ~ CLICK HERE

PCOS ~ CLICK HERE

Clomid ~ CLICK HERE

Keep a diary of your treatment (or read the experiences of others) ~ CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment ~ CLICK HERE

The What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) thread will give you some info on how to navigate the site ~   CLICK HERE

We have a live chat room where you can meet other members, take part in themed chat events and gain a wealth of information from people who are or have been dealing with infertilty. New member chat is at 8pm on Wednesday, where we can introduce you to other members, show you around the chat room and help with any queries you may have both in the chat room and on the boards. Please take a look at the calendar and of course our Chat Zone: CLICK HERE 

If you look on the main forum index you will find location boards. You can find others in your area, and even people going to the same clinic who will provide invaluable advice - some groups even have meet ups.

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it. We go through all the highs and lows of treatment together.

Good luck               

Sue


----------



## HQ1 (Aug 19, 2011)

Thanks very much that's really useful. It's just good to finally be speaking to people who know what you're going through


----------



## Jepa (Aug 6, 2011)

Hi hQ1, I'm new today too, and just read your post (after posting mine).  I think we're in a similar situation (I guess we all are!).  I'm 34 and have been TTC since Jan 2008, with one very exciting conception and 10 weeks of pregnancy in 2010 right after I had my endometriosis operated on.
I've just had 3 failed attempts at IUI and I wish you more luck than me.  Looks like a good thing for you as you've got a sperm factor too, and they're really good at condensing the sperm down to just the good guys, which should change your circumstances a lot, I hope.
Are you considering IVF if your IUIis not successful? I ask because it helped me a lot emotionally to know that all my eggs (literally) were not just in the IUI basket, and that I had another tool up my sleeve for future use.  This might help you feel less pressure about the IUI?
Also, have you considered acupuncture or other alternate therapies.  I've started looking into it now as my lovely nurse who did my first and 3rd IUI recommended me to it on the 3rd attempts.  It's very interesting and I think promising, especially for folks like us who don't have one categorical problem, but instead have several factors that each may contribute.  Apparently they've been doing some controlled medical trials and the statistics are looking really positive (unfortunately I don't have a link to back this up, but it might be worth doing a little research into).  Only word of warning is that some clinics see a woman trying to get pregnant and hike their prices up beyond the sky - I had one quote of £150 per session.  Seriously!!
Anyway, best of luck!!!


----------



## HQ1 (Aug 19, 2011)

Hi Jepalouie, sorry for the delay in getting back to you I have been on holiday. To be honest I keep putting thoughts of IVF to the back of my head, as I just don't think I can comtemplate that yet. I just keep hoping that it won't get to that stage. We have had a month of just the Clomiphene, I'm on day 24 and have already had a bit of bleeding. So I guess that we'll be doing our 2nd IUI next week. I hadn't thought of alternative therapies but might be worth looking into so thanks for the advice. I am also thinking of staying away from alcohol this month as well, not that I drink a lot just a couple of glasses of wine at weekend, but feel like I need to give everything a go so I can feel I have done all I can.
Anyway best of luck x


----------



## lea1978 (Sep 13, 2011)

Hi HQ1,

I am new to this today, strange you should mention giving up alcohol as i too have decided that i am going on a 'health Kick' I went to see i spiritualist medium last night and it gave me a lot of hope My nana came through and gave me lots of hope. The medium asked if i was planning a baby i was astonished she said she could see my nana knitting booties lol! she also however said that my nana was taking a glass of wine out of my hand and told me plenty time for that later....so if ever there were a sign eh good luck and lots of baby dust xxx


----------



## HQ1 (Aug 19, 2011)

Wow that is quite a sign!! There are always things we can do to improve our situation. Annoyingly my AF came this morning so we will be started 2nd IUI next week, fingers crossed this one goes to plan. So here's to another month of counting down the days!!!


----------



## lea1978 (Sep 13, 2011)

Hi HQ1 Ah I am sorry to hear about your AF  stay positive hun. I have everything crossed for you     xx


----------



## HQ1 (Aug 19, 2011)

Thanks Lea1978

Had a bit of a down day yesterday but feeling much more positive today, onwards and upwards as they say. Hope everything OK with you


----------



## lea1978 (Sep 13, 2011)

Hi HQ1, sorry I have not been on for a few day been a bit under the weather... Think I had a bad case of 'man flu' lol! but I am back to my chirpy self today. Sorry to hear you have been feeling down,    keep smiling tho hun.... sending lots of positive energy your way   .
I am at the hosp today to see my consultant... feeling a bit scared of what the next step is. I found out my tubes were clear at last weeks HSG.   so am not sure what the next procedure is . will keep you posted when i get back xx


----------



## HQ1 (Aug 19, 2011)

Sorry to hear you haven't been feeling good. Hope everything goes OK today and it's great news that your tubes are clear. I am back at the hospital on Thurs for a scan to start our 2nd IUI. Feelin actually really positive this time and trying to be as relaxed about it all as possible as I honestly think stress can affect things. I just want to get the whole thing started hate this waiting around bit. Anyway take care


----------



## lea1978 (Sep 13, 2011)

Hi HQ1 how are you feeling? I am really happy with the results at the hospital. They consultant suggested that I start Gonal F injections next cycle which is not very far away. I am really excited to start this treatment and feel things are really moving along quickly. Hope you are still staying positive xx


----------



## HQ1 (Aug 19, 2011)

Still feelng quite positive. I am heading to the hosp this afternoon so we shall see what happens then. So these injections you have to do are they for IVF? Sorry still trying to get my head around all the different treatments. The prospect of IVF is getting ever closer for us but I haven't really looked into it. I thought I wouldn't do that until I know we definitely need to consider it, it's hard enough understanding this treatment without confusing myself any more!!!! Anyway hope the time until your next cycle goes really quickly!


----------



## Jepa (Aug 6, 2011)

Hey HQ1, just wondering how you're getting on with your IUI's?  It's a funny old process, isn't it, though I kinda felt I got the hang of it after the first one (even though the meds knocked me around badly and, uh, it didn't work!).  Still hoping you have better luck than I did.
Hi Lea too!  I was pretty wowed to hear your psychic story and that's gotta be a strong good signe.  Usually I'm skeptical about these things but I also think it helps to have an open mind and who knows what is possible! I hope her vision is true and you end up needing those booties very soon!
I've been on a health kick too, hardly drinking a thing, eating super healthily including the concoctions my acupuncturist has recommended for me, and exercising too, mainly swimming.  The only thing I can't seem to get rid of is stress and it seems like every month some big stressful event invades the calm state I'm trying to evoke! This month it was a burglary and an insurance company who insisted on tangling me up on the fine print and taking me through the ringer, treating me mean along the way (they just said they'd pay today, and now AF is here!).  It was like that every IUI cycle too, and my fiancé is convinced that that's why it didn't work for us, as everything indicated we were high chances of success, including said health kick.  I'm inclined to agree with him and would say to treat this time like it is really special and give yourself as much of a break as you can!!
Best luck m'dear!
(oh yeah, I shortened my online name...)


----------



## HQ1 (Aug 19, 2011)

Hey Jepa

I'm on to my 2nd IUI and was feeling really positive and farily stress-free for once, that is until today. I have officially had enough 
I am currently unemployed which is pretty stressful anyway but have had a few knock backs from employers this month and then to make matters worse I have been getting excruitiating cramps so I know deep down that this time has failed as well. My DH keeps saying that I don't know for sure until AF arrives but I think one thing is for certain with this whole journey and that is that you get to know your body and all the signs. I just don't feel I can hold out much hope this time and I feel that with that and the job hunting it's nor particularly stress-free at the moment.
I totally agree with you that stress has an impact on it and I have tried really hard this month to stay calm and positive and really thought it could work this time, but now I feel like I'm not sure how I am going to continue doing this every month.
I feel like all I do at the moment is cry and it's just no way to live. 
The burglary must have been awful and you're right things just get in the way every month but I guess we just have to keep going so we get what we want at the end!

Anyway sorry for the doom and gloom I'm sure I will feel better about things tomorrow.

Let me know how you're getting on


----------

