# what is the process for KDs at a fertility clinic?



## BobbyS (Sep 23, 2010)

Hi there

I don't know if anyone can help.. If we are not pregnant by next summer, we will go for IVF ideally using our known donor sperm. He will have to start the process soon if it has to be quarantined so I wondered whether anyone knew the process the donor has to go through? ie how many times will they be required to visit the clinic and do they have to have counselling even if they have donated at a different clinic before? 

We have a known donor but he lives in another part of the country and he isn't a close friend so there is a limit to what we can ask him to do. He donates at his local clinic so has already had counselling, we can't ask him to go through all that again... or does anyone know if we can use the clinic he already donates at, will they allow us to use his already frozen sperm?

So many things to consider, any advice would be appreciated


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## Pinktink (Dec 17, 2008)

Hey

Glad you made your way in here   

I'm sure some of the girls who use known donors will know more than me but I would definitely try and speak to the clinic he already donates at - even if you can't use the existing donations surely if you used them he wouldn't have to go through quarantine if he already donates there 

Hopefully someone more knowledgable than me will come along soon   

welcome to the boards...hope your journey is short and successful


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## Carol2 (Jun 27, 2009)

Hi BobbySuccess,

I used a known donor who was originally a pool donor. It can be quite a complicated situation for clinics to deal with as it is outside the usual box. As your donor will be moving from an unknown to a known donor he will have to have more counselling and more release papers will need to be signed to release his samples to you. They could then be transferred
from the clinic he donated it to to you. You would have to arrange courier transport-it cost me £200 to move my vials a few miles across London between clinics plus an admin fee of £50-not sure if it goes by mileage or if its a standard fee If the clinic your donor has donated to has some unallocated samples it shouldn't be difficult to have them transferred however its quite possible they might have decided already what to do with them. In this case they might not be keen to give them to you-in this case I would recommend your donor could tell them himself he wishes to withdraw his consent for them to be used by the clinic and instead donates them to you.


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## BobbyS (Sep 23, 2010)

Carol2, thanks for that info, that's very interesting... he lives in the midlands and I live in London so who knows how much that will cost to transport. He did tell me that he has been told there is a waiting list at his clinic (NHS) so I'll have to speak to him again and then give them a call. What might be easier is for me to pay his expenses to donate at my clinic and wait the 6 months. Do you know how many times he would have to donate, ie how much they need for just one recipient?!? 

Hi Pinktink! Thanks for the good wishes! I'm so pleased I found this site, I have been searching the internet since first TTC trying to find a site where lesbians could discuss the specific complexities we face in TTC. Wishing you lots of


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## deemo (Oct 13, 2009)

Processes at different clinics might differ but for us the consultant and embryologist were very understanding and helped us to organise it in a minimum of appointments since our KD doesn't live nearby at all:

- 1st donation (they check that the donation is ok - as in they check that there is some life in there - and then they freeze + blood test
- 1st councelling session (just him) and 2nd donation
- 2nd councelling session (the 3 of us) and 3rd donation

The 1st donation was released 6 months after it happened, after he showed a clean blood test result from that time. In our case they were happy for him to send them the result from his local clinic (so he didn't have to come to the hospital just to do a blood test). If I remember well I reckon that per donation you get 2 or 3 "straws", and depending on the quality they need to defrost 1 or 2 straws per treatment. Ideally you'd have him come in a few times in one week to get it all done together. This wasn't possible for us which wasn't a problem for them either, just meant he had to do a few more blood tests to release #2 and #3. The main thing is to get that first donation in the freezer so the clock can start ticking! 

Good luck...


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## BobbyS (Sep 23, 2010)

Thanks deemo that is great info, very helpful and probably our best option.


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## Pinktink (Dec 17, 2008)

I'm glad people have been able to help you   

The best websites I've found for support and information from other f/f couples are obviously this one and also the rainbow families section of gingerbeer.com - that's well worth a look too...

xx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I used my friend as a KD via a clinic as we had no luck with AI at home we also lived in different cities.  Then we went to the Bridge, we both went for an appt to dicuss options, then he was seen alone and I was, I went to the counsellor it was offered to him but he didn't want to go, he had to do a sperm test on the first visit, that is when we found out that he also had a low sperm count and we needed ICSI. He then had bloods, made a deposits we had 32 straws at the end of 6 months, he made a few sperm deposits that they froze and then after 6 months he went and had repeat bloods and the sperm could be released so we start IVF

To be honest it is the most expensive route to take, it cost about £1500 more than if I had used clinic sperm, and when I asked why they said that I had the use of all the sperm not thinking that he might have reached his family quota etc.

To be honest we have been to 3 clinics since and have just gone as 'partners' as it means no delay and also that we can use fresh sperm, which has higher success rates. My partner is a dear friend as is his (male) partner, and we live quite close lives, in fact he is in his pj's sitting next to me on the sofa.

You can also move sperm around the country, it belongs to your friend and he can authroise this.

Good Luck, pm me if i can be of any use.

L x


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## Bethany915 (Aug 1, 2010)

Hi Bobby

I also have a known donor but he and I are being treated as a couple at my local clinic.  It meant I did not have to wait 6 months and, as JJ says, got to use fresh sperm (my KD once tried to become an "official" donor years ago and apparently his sperm is not too good after going through the freeze-thaw process).  But it is asking quite a lot of your donor to do it this way and he has to sign HFEA papers agreeing to legal parenthood etc.  Also, in your case, if you have a female partner, it would be difficult to bring her into the equation if you were claiming your KD as your partner!  So a tricky one...  Good luck with it, whichever route you choose.

B xx


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## BobbyS (Sep 23, 2010)

Thanks B&L. I did think about that but as our KD is someone we have built a relationship with after finding him via a website rather than a close friend, I don't think he would feel comfortable with this and as you say, that would mean DP wouldn't be involved in the process. Also, I have already been in to our NHS clinic for fertility tests and DP was included in the consultations (had to sign documents) and is on my medical file. 

Can the donor refuse the counselling? 

Not sure if I should start a new thread or whether there is an old one but does anyone know a good central London clinic (other than London Women's Clinic)? I am registered with the local hospital clinic but if a private clinic is approx the same price and they can get all the KD bits done within a week, that might be easier for the KD to get to and I will be moving out of the local area next year anyway. 

Thank you!


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## Bethany915 (Aug 1, 2010)

I'm not an expert on London clinics but there are loads of them! Have a look on the website of the HFEA: http://www.hfea.gov.uk/. They have a section called "Choose a Fertility Clinic".

Good luck with it!

B xx


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## Carol2 (Jun 27, 2009)

I highly recommend the Lister clinic which is in Chelsea they have been fantastic all the way through. Every member of staff has been excellent and they get great results as well. They are also quite used to same sex couples and donor sperm issues.


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## nickidee (Sep 16, 2007)

Carol2 said:


> You would have to arrange courier transport-it cost me £200 to move my vials a few miles across London between clinics plus an admin fee of £50-not sure if it goes by mileage or if its a standard fee


Yet another example of LWC taking the mick, I'm afraid. It actually only costs £58 + vat to use the exact same courier if you contact them directly - I did! The extra (hidden) costs are for the use of LWC's flask for transportation which effectively means that they pocket just under £200 for arranging to courier your sperm for you! 
Kerching!


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## deemo (Oct 13, 2009)

BobbySuccess said:


> Can the donor refuse the counselling?


In my experience the councelling was part of the process and mandatory. However whilst I did fear that this might be some kind of interview where they assess whether you are fit to be a parent, this was not the case at all: our councellor was extremely helpful and supportive, asked relevant questions and gave useful info. There was a session for both of us, one just for him and a final one with the three of us. She then ticked the box to say that part of the process was done and we could move on to the next step.


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

When we went to the Bridge in 2005/6 it wasn't mandatory for the donor,it was included in the package I went to my session but they searate everything as you have no right to know anything baout his medical records only him so his appts were separate to mine!
It was fine for us, we (him and his partner and I) are all friends and have been for years, and talk openly about it.  
I have heard good things about the Lister, also FFer have done KD IVF at the Homerton where it is v cheap for a cycle if you have an uncomplicated history.

I wasn't happy with the Bridge and after 2 cycles moved to ARGC as 'partners' as they don't take single women or have donor sperm etc.  Not sure about UCH- the highest success rates in UK are ARGC, UCH, Lister and Care in Nottingham.

Good Luck
L x


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## BobbyS (Sep 23, 2010)

That's great, thanks for all the advice, I will do some investigating!


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## BobbyS (Sep 23, 2010)

A quick update - I have been told that because my KD already donates at a clinic, HFEA rules stipulate that he can only donate to 10 recipients via a clinic and those 10 recipients have already received a donation or have been allocated ... and apparently they check up on clinics to monitor this... oh well, plan B   ...


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## Bethany915 (Aug 1, 2010)

Hi Bobby 

I thought the HFEA rules only applied to successful donations (i.e. only the recipients who have actually got pregnant are counted in the limit of 10 recipients).  I might be wrong - or maybe his sperm has already been successful for 10 recipients? - but might be worth double-checking.

B xx


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