# Hi new 41yrs, just begining the journey !!!



## mist (Feb 9, 2005)

Hi all    

I've just joined last week, I'm just begining tests at the grand age of 41, and have just had an appt at pte. London clinic this week.
I saw my GP after ttc for over 2yrs 15 months ago but he did not refer me for any tests  , as a result I'm only begining tests and time does not appear to be on my side.  


I first started trying for family when i was 30 but hubby unexpectedly died      so it was put on hold until my met my present husband    3+ years ago. As a result the years have flown by.

I'm very new to this but would welcome support / advice.

I've found the whole experience i.e the first appointment at the clinic very emotional (cried most of the journey home), is this normal ? 

Thanks

Mist x


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## Rice cake (Aug 31, 2004)

I am similar and wish I had started in earnest earlier.

My main regret at the moment is waiting for tests to be done on the NHS rather than pay privately .The NHS tests took an age and I lost about a year through the wait.I was told I was put through the NhS system much quicker than normal and so I would hate to see how long others had to wait.
So if I had my time again I would go immediately for private tests.


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## mist (Feb 9, 2005)

Thanks L for your reply it's much appreciated.

It's nice to know there is support on this website. It has been my lifeline since I joined it last week.

My only regret is that I did not go for private tests earlier, I don't think some GP's take infertility seriously

Thanks for replying, I wish you luck

Mist x


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## Rachel (Mar 10, 2004)

Hi Mist 

Welcome to Fertility Friends 

Yes, the crying is very normal! The whole infertility thing is a very emotional journey but you have found a group of people here who understand exactly what you are going through right now. There will always be someone to give you advice or just offer some support.

There is a chat room if you follow the link on the main page where there's always someone waiting to have a natter with you! We also have a Goldies section for more mature ladies on the IVF board. Here's the link 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,22265.30.html

Lots of love and luck for your treatment

Rachel xx


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## datai (Jan 17, 2005)

hi Mist

Well it is perfectly normal to feel the way you do after an appointment at times i have cried before and after.  Even though i am 30 soon to be 31 i feel time isnt on my side either!!!!!  

So sorry to hear about your past.  Its never too late to start look at all those women in the news that have had in the 60's!!!!!!!

Good luck with everything fingers crossed for you.

Datai


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## EH (Dec 3, 2003)

Hi Mist

Sorry to hear you found the appointment so emotional. This experience is such a rollercoaster, one minute you're coping the next want to bury your  head in the sand and forget it's happening. I cry, shout and moan quite a lot much to the annoyance of my DH, not sure how he puts up with me. Think it's the only way to cope at times so don't feel like you're on your own. I'm new to this site too after 2 years of tests and treatment so have plenty of advice, still in the battle but not giving up until I get there.

TTC 5 yrs me 33 DH 31 1 miscarriage, 2 x ICSI failed. So you can tell I'll  have lots to tell if you need me to.

It's tough going but take as much support from others as you can, it really does help. 

My advice at this stage is to find a clinic you are comfortable with and get all your questions answered. I've changed clinics recently to the ARGC in London and I'm really pleased with them so far.

E x


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## mist (Feb 9, 2005)

Hi Rachel thanks for your link to the    Goldies section, a very useful link!! 
Thanks for making me feel more normal, going to the clinic brings up so many memories such as doing a pregnancy test on the day of my first husbands funeral (now almost 10 years ago). 

Hi Datai thanks for your email, I 'm sure I 'chatted' to you in the chat room the other night (my first ever attempt at a chat room) and you made me feel very welcome thanks for that.

Hi EH thanks for your message, welcome to the site, I've been a member for about a week and it's brilliant a constant source of support, I find I can't speak to anyone at work so the support on the site is great. 
I notice you are at ARGC, I nearly went to that clinic but chose UCH ACU instead. Would be interested to hear your experiences of ARGC. I've only been for one visit to UCH it seems expensive but maybe they all are? I notice you are due to have a hysteroscopy next month, I've got to have one too. 

Good Luck everyone   

Thanks for your support



Mist x


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

Good luck Mist!
Sounds like you are long over due a bit of good fortune.  

I had very bad marriage & not so good relationship until I met my fantastic partner (husband in aug 2005!). I was 32 when we met and had been pregnant before so didn't think we'd have any problems at 35 when we started trying. Wish we'd started earlier! Never mind, had some great times just the 2 of us.

Good luck! We'll all be rooting for you!
Jess x


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## mist (Feb 9, 2005)

Hi Jess,

Thanks for your reply. Like you I delayed ttc with my present dh, I met him 6 yrs ago.

One of the reasons is that I took my first dh's death badly, grieving for the life I wanted with him, also he took his own life whilst we were ttc.

My present dh is wonderful and supportive.

I am now strong enough to cope with the rollercoaster of the journey into fertility treatment but my age is now a problem, especially as I've not really had many tests yet.

On a positive note I'm going to give it a good try.

I wish you luck Jess   

Thanks

Mist x


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## Nixs (Jan 13, 2005)

Mist

Hi and welcome to this mad, crazy world of IVF.

I think you are at UCH which I believe is an NHS based hospital??  My friend had IUI at UCH and the bill came to nearly £2000 3 years ago which I thougth was quite expensive.  Anyway I've had my IVF at Guys where IVF is £1750 plus drugs which are about £1000 so their fees are quite competitive.  The good thing about Guys is all investigations are done on the NHS at not extra charge.  I've had loads of problems including 3 m/c luckly it was Guys who found out my problems and had referalls all over the place to sort things out.  I've had countless blood tests (which showed problems), scans, a hy-cosy-scan and next week am having another lap and dye test, done via NHS, and I've only had to wait one month.  However the key is you have to push and push my consultants have been brilliant and recommended all these tests but rather than sitting back and waiting for the appointments to come slowly through the post I'm constantly on the phone chasing things.  EG my lap and dye the secretary kept saying it was up to a 4 month waiting list, I kept telling her my dr wanted it done sooner and basically I rang every day for about 3 days it worked got the appointment for 28 days later.  This takes quite a lot of time and energy up and sometimes I have to admit its quite overwhelming.  I firmly believe in the NHS but unless you push sometimes you go to the back of the que.

Hope this makes sense and all the very best for your journey.

Nicky


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

Hi Mist,

It's all a bit overwhelming at first isn't it? It is worth contacting a few clinics as different costs do occur and some are more geared up to women over 38 than others.

This site has been a real lifeline for me and I've learnt far more from here than from the hospital!

Good luck with your journey - good to see you've got a great DH, you certainly need a good shoulder to cry on every now & then!

Jess x


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## ♥Tamsin♥ (Jun 29, 2004)

Hi Mist,

Hi and thanks for your earlier welcome to me!

Wow, you've certainly had some tough times haven't you.....you more than deserve some happiness....so I hope you come to realise your dream soon.

I wish you the best of luck with your tests.  

Tamsin
xx


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## Dydie (Feb 11, 2005)

Hello Mist
I would just like to say that your emotional feelings are totally normal to me, the minute you walk in that clinic door you can feel the suppressed hope rising inside your body and it has a tendancy to spill out in the form of tears.
the whole experience certainly takes it toll on our emotions.
Good Luck
Dydie


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## safarigirl (Feb 23, 2005)

Hi Mist
I justwanted to say hi - I am 42 and also trying ....  I am seeing ******* at present having tests done after a recent m/c at 10 weeks (second m/c in just over a year).
On a positive note I have had quite a few friends in there 40's who have babies (some with m/c and some without and some taking a few year to conceive) - which I always find reassuring. I think those of us that are ttc and are older just have to accept our age, and then get on with trying to conceive and having tests as anybody else would do.  Wishing you lots of luck in your journey.


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## EH (Dec 3, 2003)

Hi Mist,

I chose ARGC for their success rates to be honest, not the cost. They are competive with the other clinic I went to on the cost of treatment and drugs but the tests are pretty expensive. I haven't had these tests before and because we've had to failed ICSI treatments we were keen to make sure everything was tested out. ARGC seem very thorough and do many blood tests that not all clinics do, infact they maybe the only clinic that do some of these. Their success rates are around the 50% mark for someone my age, compared with 26% at my other clinic. 

The clinic is also like a home rather than hospital, so it put me at ease more. I did feel like I was on a conveyer belt with my other clinic and that everyone was treated more or less the same way, not individually. Although the support staff were lovely.

ARGC monitor you loads through the process, I think there will be a stage that I will have to go everyday for blood tests so they can adjust the drugs, which I think is brilliant. I only had 3 scans with the last clinic and I can't see how hormones can be monitored that way. Also ARGC give you more of a helping hand after egg transfer, I was left to just use the pessaries last time.

It's a big decision to make but I did my research and they definitely came out on top.

Hope this helps, they are also very speedy. I phoned them end of Jan for the first time, had my first appointment 4 days later and now I'm on the test trail, which should only take 3 weeks which includes the hysteroscopy, then I should be able to start treatment. So if time if crucial for you they work quick. Just save your pennies!!

Hope this helps, I know it's very confusing....

Good luck

EH x


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