# How many goes of fresh IVF are you going to do before you give up?



## Munchable (Nov 1, 2012)

Hi all how many goes of IVF are you going to do before you give up and why that many?  (out of curiosity!) XXX


----------



## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

I said three - most people need more than one, but for most people by the time they've had three they have a good idea of the likelihood of it working. 

My age was a factor, if I had been younger I would have probably been prepared to try for longer.
Finance is a factor too, it wouldn't have been fair to put DH through paying for more cycles.

After our first one was BFN, I said that the second would be the last one UNLESS we got new information from it. However I got pg from the second go although I miscarried. This was incentive to go for the third go! We now have four frosties as a result of the second and third cycles, so I definitely won't be doing another fresh go... 

it really depends on the information you get from cycles, if you get a string of BFNs and are unable to make any changes to drugs etc then it seems futile to keep repeating fresh cycles. But if you get to make changes or achieve a pregnancy then you have more incentive to carry on.


----------



## Sweetpea123 (Feb 26, 2013)

I always said 3 too however first go abandoned as didnt respond to drugs, 2nd go had really poor embryos - bog standard nhs goes. Then we went private and it's a whole different world then. We had extra tests, had a really good cycle and even though it didnt work out as we hoped we have got 4 frosties. Now I think fresh cycles we will have 2 more and count our private goes as 3 so I've had 1 so far. I just do not think the nhs ones count, they just do not compare! So we will use the frosties- hope for the best and then 2 more fresh goes.

If this doesn't work then we will have to consider our options!

Xx


----------



## Leftleg (Oct 30, 2011)

I did three fresh cycles and all BFNs. I didn't want to give up as I felt, like Sweetpea, that the two on the NHS (one being self-funded) were pointless - they didn't monitor me properly and weren't prepared to do anything differently after 3 failed cycles. I've now had two BFPs; one from a fresh cycle and one from a frozen. I agree that after a few failures you have to look into doing something differently but I'm glad I didn't give up after three!


----------



## Munchable (Nov 1, 2012)

Thanks girls, useful information xxx


----------



## Bumble Bus (Apr 23, 2013)

Hi,

We were given per cycle success chance of 25% so we figured straight away we would do at least 4 unless we learnt something that would make it impossible.

We've done 2 so far and I can't see us giving up before 6 unless we learn something else bad. They made tweaks between my first and second cycles which got better results and they are adding more for the third go too which makes me feel the odds should be increasing a bit each time. Let's hope so!

x


----------



## Dudders (Jun 18, 2012)

I am certainly a planner and set limits around how many goes we would have and how long we would keep trying.  But to be honest I really think you just have to go with the flow.  My initial limits were two cycles and my birthday - well both of those have passed and we haven't stopped!

Admittedly cycle 3 was a bit of a no brainer because I got pregnant on cycle 2 so we were more confident about it, which hasn't worked out well!  In the 2ww of cycle 2 when I was testing negative at 6dp6dt I knew I wasn't ready to stop even though it went against everything I'd said before.  Sadly the pregnancy didn't work out but I'm glad we had already made the decision we would try again as sticking to the original limits would have made it even worse.

I think you have to just go with the flow and continually assess what you can cope with emotionally, physically and financially.  Right now apart from the embryos we have in the freezer we feel we are probably done with IVF and maybe we are but maybe we are not.  We've learnt the hard way that how you feel today is not necessarily how you will feel tomorrow and now time will tell when we are ready to stop.  All we can do is live in the here and now, not the past or the future!


----------



## Cay23 (Jan 12, 2011)

Dudders said:


> I think you have to just go with the flow and continually assess what you can cope with emotionally, physically and financially. ....... We've learnt the hard way that how you feel today is not necessarily how you will feel tomorrow and now time will tell when we are ready to stop. All we can do is live in the here and now, not the past or the future!


Well said! 

We've now had 4 fresh IVF cycles and 2 FETS. We've always said if we kept doing the same thing over and over again what was the point, so each cycle we've learnt something new and had something new which we could take into a new cycle, whether it was from the clinic (like a change of drugs) or from us (like adding different supplements). I think if your clinic aren't prepared to explore why the cycles failed after a couple of BFN's and keep suggesting the same things it's time to change clinics.

There are ladies on here who've had failure after failure and loads of cycles. I think if it works for them after 7,8,9... goes, why can't it for me? That's why we've not put a time limit on when we will stop, although we realise we can't keep trying forever. I think we'll just cross that bridge when we get to it.

xx


----------



## Flips (Jul 12, 2012)

I've always had three in my head as the limit, husband says three or four! That's not definite though, I'm only D/R for my first cycle at the moment so we'll see what happens in the future.


----------



## Tinks27 (May 31, 2011)

I've never had a number in my head, I think it will just be when we feel like we can't do no more and of course there's the financial factor so money will probably run out before then anyway although I guess we could save again but it's very frustrating spending every spare penny on treatment ESP as our plan was to buy a house.
We're starting our 3rd fresh cycle in the new year which will eat up the last of our savings for now, I'm not sure id have been so willing to jump into it again so soon after the FET if that had been another BFN but as we finally got our first BFP I now feel we can't give up just yet, we HAVE to try again now we finally managed to get an embryo to implant even if it was only for a very short time.


----------



## Munchable (Nov 1, 2012)

Thanks girls, just nice to know other thoughts, how others plan or think about the whole thing.  I wish you all the very best in what you all want to do for you.

For me and hubs well we are currently at the start of our 2nd fresh cycle (private now) after using our 2 fets.  We are going to see how this goes and if it doesn't work, we are thinking of trying one more fresh with a different clinic and then if that doesn't work, we are going to have a break and do each fet when we can afford it.  I have to say the finance is the most annoying thing about the whole thing and I think that the government need to look at IVF more and realise the mental health, financial factors it has for people like us.  I think there is a lot of money thrown into other things in the NHS IN which other routes can be used....ill stop now as I will sound like a new priminister.  Good luck all X


----------



## Michimoo (Oct 13, 2011)

Everyone is different & every cycle can be different too. 
I feel like we learn something new after each failed & then implement changes into the next cycle. We do not have an endless pot of cash & emotionally & physically I'm not sure how much more I can take but I'm about to attempt fresh cycle number 6!!!!  

If you'd asked me at the beginning I probably would've put a 3 limit on it, but when you get on the rollercoaster ride its hard to get off sometimes. 
As I said though everyone is different. 

Good luck ladies 

M
xx


----------



## Munchable (Nov 1, 2012)

Michimoo - Yeah I know I suppose you just can plan, but you never know feelings and thoughts on things and things can change absolutely agree.

I will you the very best of luck ...ps love your wedding pic X


----------



## KaitsWishOnAMoonbeam (Mar 1, 2011)

2 fresh and maybe 2 fet.

Originally it was only going to be the one fresh cycle but as I was able to egg share that has potentially turned into 2. We've got 1 snowy on ice so probably an fet assuming it thaws ok. And possibly 2 fet's in total depending on what our 2nd fresh gives us. But for us that is it.... 

After our bfn this time i didn't handle it anywhere near as well as i thought i was and i can't keep putting myself and df through that. Also the financial constraints are a huge deciding factor as we haven't got an endless money pot and I don't want to be in debt paying off any loans we take out for the next how many years if it ultimately never happens for us. 

We've got each other and laddy (df's youngest from before we met) and anything else would be a blessing and a bonus. Some things happen and you will never understand why but ultimately its not our choice or anyone elses as much as we may want it. There's that quote about having the strength and courage to cope with what we cannot change... for me and our situation it rings true as much as i may not like it. One foot in front of the other and cherish what we've still got with and around us xxx


----------



## reeshy (Mar 9, 2013)

The 25% statistic also got to me. I am sure we are happy to try at least 4 times if needed. After that, go with the flow!


----------

