# How do you know when to give up with your own eggs?



## muddypaws (Apr 10, 2008)

Hi,

I am on a 2ww at the moment but have to say that I don't feel very hopeful. Hard to say why as I was positive initially but something changed yesterday and I feel that it is my body letting me know that it hasn't worked. 

As you can see from my signature, I am 40 and been ttc for a year. All test are good, no apparent problems and have responded well to stimms with lots of eggs. This time round I had 6 blasts from 11 embies - pretty good for an old gal I was told. They all look high quality and one was hatching when put back last time. This time have had the three that made the thaw put back, one was practically fully hatched, requiring a quick dash to clinic on morning of transfer! 

Despite good results, haven't had a sniff of a bfp at all in 6 2wws. The clinic don't seem to be much interested in any tests and say it is the age of the eggs that is the problem - despite such great results? I guess that I just don't understand it. I don't feel convinced that the eggs are scrambled and that's why it doesn't work - they look really good, getting six blasts all of good quality is rare for anyone let alone an oldie for goodness sake! I'm worried that the clinic won't seem to consider anything else other than age, if indeed there is anything else to consider....does anyone have any suggestions? I have had some clotting tests (anticardiolipin, lupus anticoag, plus thyroid, prolactin, general bloods etc etc), which I had to insist on as they weren't that keen. As far as I can work out, and they haven't been that helpful explaining it as the tests came from the GP and the clinic just say they look normal but "wouldn't have advised them anyway" (why say that, it's just not helpful!). They tell me that everything is OK with my lining etc...although as they have only done done ultrasound can thay really tell? Did have a hystersalpingogram privately about a year ago, which showed tubes Ok and I guess the uterus looked normal.

Basically, I am on the list for donor eggs at Reprofit in May 2009 but don't know whether I should be thinking of going for donor embryos earlier than that. So girls, when do you decide that your own eggs aren't good enough and just how do you know? 

Please help, I am going out of my mind. Thanks  


Muddylane


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## sallywags (Jun 27, 2005)

Hi hun - i'm not 40, but this is an interesting question. I have been at that crossroads recently myself.  My FSH has been raised since the beginning of treatment, but we managed to get DD 2 years ago with ICSI. We thought our last cycle hadn't worked, and the consultant had intimated that next time we should consider donor eggs, as the problem was with me not dh (despite needing icsi for MF).  Amazingly, that little one must have been a late implanter and we found out a couple of weeks later that she had hung on in there.

This time, I told my consultant that my fsh had gone up to 17.3.  What i didn't know at the time was that the cut off at the clinic was 15 - so by rights i shouldn't have been allowed to proceed, and donor eggs would have been my only option.  Amazingly, my consultant (the little treasure) didn't mention this to the clinic, and only told them my previous one of 14.3.  Well we only got one embie, and amazingly, it has taken - despite my dreadful FSH.  (still waiting nervously for scan..)

What I am trying to say is that the statistics aren't always right, and he believed that he could get me pregnant, despite the state of my eggs.  

I think this is a really hard decision to make hun, and I know I haven't been of any help, but thought I would tell you my experience.

Big hugs, and all the best of luck.


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I have given up on my own eggs (as such) and creeping into the back of my mind is the doubt 'Have I done the right thing?'.  At my last appt at ARGC with Mr T he said I could cycle but not put them back into myself but a surrogate (so much easier said than done).So I am working on the premise of another consultant that DE's from a young donor are more robust.

I have read on here that if a clinic is not changing there tack and you have had 2 cycles there it might be realistic to change clinic or have an appt at another clinic for an opinion as to what they would do differently for you.

For IVF you don't need tubes or patent tubes so a HSG is not really indicated as they bypass the tubes when needle aspiration, obviouely you need them for IUI, so I wouldn't worry about that too much.

Take care and good luck


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## muddypaws (Apr 10, 2008)

Thanks for the reply Sally. With your late bfp, did you have an AF in between tests? Was she a fresh transfer straight after ICSI or an FET? It worries me a bit that you can get these sort of anomalies - after all, you could have started taking meds for another round and lost her or stopped the progesterone support and then lost her. Just makes me think that often the clinics don't really know what is going on! Maybe I will hang on for longer this time as I have sometimes worried that things might not always be as they seem!

Thanks for support  

Muddylane


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## sallywags (Jun 27, 2005)

Yes - it was a wierd situation!  It was a fresh ICSI - i never got good enough embies to freeze. I got AF 2 days before test day - full flow, bright red. I did a test then, which was bfn.  On official test day, obviously still bleeding heavily, i did another test as advised which i didn't really give very long (and it was only a cheapy ebay test) which came up bfn.  I then went on a bender for 2 weeks (oops!) and had i not had the little niggle to test after my hangover didn't go away, it could have been ages before i found out as I bled at 8 weeks as well!  I did stop all my progesterone support too!

My consultant insisted on 3 normal AF cycles between treatments though, so i don't htink i could have overlapped tx. Had i had a blood test, it may have given me a better idea, but obviosly only doing pee sticks, it didn't tell me anything useful!


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## Hal (Feb 13, 2008)

I am 42 and have haqd 4 iui and 6 ivf. My results were all good - generally had 3 good quality embryos or blastocysts put back. FSH good - no obvious problems. Had 2 biochemical pg, miscarriage, termination. I think my age wsa a factor. The last ivf was to be my last one before going on to de. During the cycle i was researching various clinics abroad. During the 2ww i was convinced i wasnn't pg. I started the cycle not expecting it to work but was really doing it for psychological reasons, to help me move on. I think the whole tx stuff is a process and i think you know when it is time to move on. FOr me it was important to to do all that I could before i would be ready to move to de.

Unbeleivably the tx worked and the pg is viable!!! 

If you are unsure about moving on then i would continue with ivf until you are sure.


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## Lynn E (Aug 7, 2008)

Hi there Muddylane,

I think you have raised a rather interesting question and my answer to your question will depend on what you want to do. I know from looking at various boards some women will advise to keep trying and not give up on your eggs, this is because they have been successful in their treatment. However you don't get to hear those women who have given up on using their eggs or have just given up. Muddylane don't look at not using your eggs as giving up but see this as another healthy alternative in getting your dream baby.

If your eggs are good and you feel mentally able and willing to have another round of IVF, then do it, if not look to search for a donor.

For myself I have decided to go down the egg donor route because me and my husband cannot face another round of IVF. I am 41, my husband and I have been trying for 16 years. And after 5 operations to have my fibroids removed, tube cleared and 6 rounds of IVF and IUI treatment, we decided to call it day on my eggs, even though I am producing good quality eggs, it's mentally I just can't do another round of IVF.

After making this decision to use donor eggs, me my husband feel a weight of pressure and finance has been lifted, even though donor route is still very expensive. I just wished I had made that decision long ago, maybe we would of have our dream baby by now, who knows.

Unfortunately the success rate for the over 40's gets smaller and smaller with age, you just have to look at Fertility Friends board to see the success rate for women using their own eggs in comparison to those under 40 to see.

Let me us know what you have decided to do. Wish you all the best.


Lynn E.


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## muddypaws (Apr 10, 2008)

Thank you all for your thoughts and advice. I have to say that I feel a bit of a fraud now as after feeling so ill, tired and having weird dreams and raging mood swings, I gave in and did a test early and what d'ya know...I got a   ! I can't believe it! I know it's early and could go but a test again today got an even darker line so at the moment I am pregnant...and it feels so amazing. Not sure how I will cope with the coming weeks, every day seems like a hurdle to overcome. All I can do is just hope that it sticks around. It has renewed my belief in my own eggs though and so even if it doesn't stay, I will definitely have another go with my eggs.

Thank you and good luck to all of you.


Muddylane


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## matti (Aug 10, 2007)

Muddaylane
*C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
That is amazing!!! This is the sort of stuff we want to hear on these boards - you just never never know what's around the corner!!!!!!!!!!
Here's wishing you a very healthy and HAPPY pregnancy!!!

Matti x


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## Hal (Feb 13, 2008)

Muddylane

That's fantastic!! All you can do is take it a day at a time but you couldn't ask for a better result today!!


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## sallywags (Jun 27, 2005)

well done hun! woohoo! brilliant news!


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## muddypaws (Apr 10, 2008)

Thanks girls. Can't quite believe it myself! Did another test this morning to keep my anxiety at bay. Still bfp - phew. Am already beginning to feel a very minor sense of quesiness, not quite fancying food. Could just be nervous excitement of course! It's funny cos you want to shout it to the world but know that it is so fragile at this stage and might not survive. At least on here I can be excited and positive; have told my mum and one friend and will tell another today - mainly cos I was staying with one friend over the weekend and she knows about the ICSI and the other has been closest to all of it and very supportive. Will not tell anyone else and have to start thinking of excuses for not drinking...I'm thinking, weight loss/diet combined with bladder infections (have had a history of this so some friends won't be suspicious of a spate of these!). 

Take care all.

Muddylane


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## potluck (Feb 12, 2008)

Hi Muddylane

Congratulations   on your bfp , what fantastic news for the over 40 board   .

                                                                                                              for a healthy pregnancy for you
                                                                                                    all the best Mistygirl xx


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## Lynn E (Aug 7, 2008)

Hi Muddylane

What great news!!!! I am so please for you. Visualise yourself giving birth to your first baby....

All the best - keep us posted.

Lynn E


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