# Just had a negative pregnancy test after donor egg



## Debrae (Aug 4, 2013)

Hi just had a negative test after one 5 day blastocyst was implanted. The clinic have told me to stop meds today as if I was pregnant there is no chance it would not show up on a home test today.
Devastated but lucky to have 2 embryos remaining if I can steel myself to hope again.
Was so much hoping that they would say wait a few more days and test again.
So tired and sad.
This was my first attempt at IVF and would have been my first baby.
Any one had the same experience?


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## Pudding34 (May 13, 2013)

Hi Debrae
I didn't use donor eggs but recently had a negative result, your post struck me so I decided to reply.
It was our first try as well and if successful would have been our first child.
We have three snow babies on ice and I understand what you say about steeling yourself to try again.
I felt so excited when we had the transfer and so utterly devastated when we got the BFN, even though I had had bleeding that exceeded the description of implantation bleeding during the 2ww so really I should have known however I hung on to hope when it stopped and really though it might have worked but sadly it didn't.
It has absolutely broken my heart and two weeks later the slightest thing can send me into tears. My neighbour had a baby a couple of months ago and seeing her walk past the house with him made me cry for about an hour!
I don't know if I could face doing it again but on the other hand I want it so much it hurts, sounds crazy doesnt it?
Pudding


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## M0ncris (Aug 25, 2013)

Hi Debrae and pudding,

My first icsi didn't work and I bled before the otd.  I remember hoping against hope that it was a mistake and that it had work.  I was devastated and it took me a while to pick myself up.  The next two times have different as I have been shattered but not in the same way as the first time.  The only way I can describe it is that I had such high hopes the first times and believed it would work that it was the huge disappointment and realisation that it was the start of the journey rather than the end which added to the pain.

I wanted to let you know that it does get easier over time but those first few weeks are tough.  You will get through it and find the strength to do it again.

Many many hugs,
M
X


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## Pudding34 (May 13, 2013)

Thanks for the reply M0ncris.
To make matters worse for me not only do I have to see my neighbour and her new baby everyday my three best friends have had babies in the last year, one of which was when I had the bleeding on my 2ww you just couldnt believe how much it hurt to get the birth announcement txt it was like a stab in the heart.
I love my friend very much, we have been friends for more than 15 years but her pregnancy has mirrored our infertility this year we found out there was a problem about the same time she announced her pregnancy and I hate the fact that I feel this jealousy for her happiness.
My two other friends keep trying to meet up with me, we went to uni together so we live all over the country, until I learned about our infertility we talked all the time but I can't face talking to them now, I did go to see one of them a couple of weeks ago but I had another friend there so it wasn't all abut babies which I  am afriad it would be if it was just the three of us plus their little ones!
So now I am excluding myself from my three best friends but I don't know what else to do.
Pudding


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## M0ncris (Aug 25, 2013)

Hi Pudding,

It's really hard when all around you are having children.  Both my sisters in law gave birth in spring and it had been really tough.

I am sure your friends are worried about you.  I have had honest chats with my best friends about how I feel.  It is natural to give yourself space to protect yourself.  Are you able to talk to at least one of them and explain that you are very happy for them but you feel really raw right now? 

As for feeling jealous, that is absolutely normal.  Don't beat yourself up over it with everything else going on.  Take your time and it will hopefully ease.

Hugs,
M
X


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## Pudding34 (May 13, 2013)

Thanks M0ncris, I really hope it eases soon as it is exhausting at the moment.
Your post has really helped me.
Pudding


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## Debrae (Aug 4, 2013)

Hello  M and Pudding
It has been such a strange day - I know what you mean about everyone being pregnant. Even on TV - my partner keeps switching off mid programme.
We go back to the clinic to see what might bedone differently - I had acupuncture throughout treatment with a Zita west practitioner and did visualisation and yoga. My partner kissed my tummy every morning to say hello to the baby. I didn't bleed and haven't still although I stopped the pessary last night. I think we have decided to try again as we have 2 more babies in waiting.
I hope that all goes well for you both . X


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## Wiltshire (May 2, 2013)

H All, I've not used one of these boards before but wanted to say I know exactly how you are feeling.  We had our first attempt at IVF using a donor egg and found out at Glastonbury festival that it hadn't worked.  I was a mess for the first few weeks, rushing to want to have another go and looking into adoption options but now 3 months on it's a lot easier.  It does get better and you stop thinking about it all the time so hang in there.  To add to everything my sister told me 4 days before we went in for the transfer that she was pregnant (I hadn't told her or anyone really that we were doing IVF) and for a while all I just kept thinking that I should have been having a baby a month or so after her.  She's been particularly unsupportive but that's another story.  You should talk to your friends and explain how you're feeling, I have found this really helps and they've been amazing, I also found that just talking to them helps ease the pain.  I'm sorry if this is a bit rambling but essentially what I'm trying to say is it does get better and hurts less just have to go through the crap bit first.


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## Pudding34 (May 13, 2013)

Debrae I know exactly what you mean sitting in my kitchen I can see outside and it is a parade of pushchairs almost like they are on a loop or something, perhaps I need to sit somewhere else!!!!!

I got a response from an accupuncturist I enquired with today so will start treatment with her soon, don't really like needles but I am willing to do anything now that BFN is a huger motivator isn't it!

I didn't think I could face trying again at first but now we are ready to do a frozen cycle we have and appointment soon to discuss.


Wiltshire I don't think that anybody who has not had any issues with fertility can really understand.
I clled one of my friends to talk and she texted me to say she as busy baby wise could I do Tuesday morning next week for a chat, pretty much a slap in the face, but she doesn't understand, she was three months gone before she realised she was pregnant so she can't understand the heartbreak.

You can ramble on on here or message me any time you want, it's important for us to support each other as we know exactly how's it feels in a way others can't.

Much love to you all.
Pudding


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## Curly_Jay (Apr 2, 2013)

I'm off on my lunch break in a few minutes but didn't want to rush without replying.

I am one of the lucky ones that do get pregnant with donor egg, so don't despair as it will work.

My 1st transfer was back in March '13 with a BFP, but unfortunately there was no heartbeat and I miscarried naturally at 7 weeks.  2nd transfer was in August 13 with another BFP with embryo making it to 10 weeks.  Unfortunately it's beautiful strong heart had stopped beating and I had to have a ERPC on 02/10/13.

Today is my first day back to these forums.  It's a very tough ride but I am determined to make it!  (can't believe I have written this and re-read it without shedding a tear...)

So Debrae, be strong and stay positive.  I wish you all the luck for your next round...You Will Do It!!!

Curly_Jay xx


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