# Feeling like the worst friend in the world!!



## linzyj (Jul 8, 2013)

Funding for IVF is being released on the 30th so feeling extremely nervous and worried about what's going to happen with it all. Have been feeling a bit emotional the last couple of days in particular. My best friends texted me this morning with some good news which I bet you can guess what it was! I'm over the moon for her I really am but at the same time am sat here in tears.
It's so confusing feeling so happy for someone but inside you feel like your hearts being ripped out yet again!
Me and the hubby are the only ones out of our group of friends now without kids. Even the ones who had struggled for a while are now a complete family and I feel sometimes like we've been left behind.  
I'm so angry with myself for getting so upset. She's my best friend and I'm fed up of feeling like this every time someone we know tells me there good news. 
Just needed to get it out. Had a cry to the hubby - he's the only one apart from you ladies on here who understands how I feel.


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## Scorpy (Oct 2, 2014)

Hey Linzyj, Your definitely not alone  
I think you've done well to even 'feel' happiness for your friend, I am just engulfed with bitterness and jealousy at peoples 'joy'!
I know how you feel to be the only ones out of your friends without kids, a year ago when I began to panic about my age and not having a baby yet Id think of my friend whom was the same age and like us didn't have kids....and then they announce they were expecting and my immediate feeling was 'SHOCK'...and the devastating realisation that we were now the only ones left.
And the hardest part was them telling us when they decided to try, it just worked on the 1st attempt, done, dusted, here comes baby! 
There is a thread currently on the 'End of the Road...or not' section ('Help') which you may find helpful as its evolved into a coping thread and sharing similar feelings


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## linzyj (Jul 8, 2013)

I feel happy for them but at the same time it's just 'not another one'. I do find it difficult to even be around them sometimes too which is awful. Everyone just keeps saying "it'll be your turn next"! I'm sick of hearing that to be honest. It's my friends 3rd now!! I just keep thinking for gods sake we'd be overjoyed with 1 but even that's proving difficult. Glad I'm not alone. It was a big shock this morning and when she said it was a shock to them as it was unplanned that just set off the waterworks straight away. It seems so unfair that some people seem to have it so easy. Thanks for the advise on that thread. Will have to have a look. Lots and lots of luck to you. Xxx


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## Dory10 (Aug 6, 2013)

Big hugs Linzyj  

Been there more times than I care to mention and have in fact lost count of the number of pregnancy announcements I've gritted my teeth through, my closest friends are now on second or third babies and one has the cheek to moan all hers are boys and it's not fair - she doesn't know the meaning of the phrase, 5 mins on here would show her what unfair is.

Have a good cry, drink wine and hope that helps a bit.

Take care

Dory
xxx


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## linzyj (Jul 8, 2013)

Hi Dory, I feel your pain. I'm sick of being told it'll happen when it's going to happen and stop stressing. As if that will help. Ive lost count of the times I've been told "borrow mine for a week and you'll soon change your mind"!! I know people don't mean it maliciously but still things like that drive me mad!! Really have to bite my tongue when they moan about early morning get ups etc -I know it might sound silly but id love the chance to moan about stuff like that. Had a good cry today and feel a bit better. Until the next one lol. Big hugs to you. Xxx


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## Keeping busy (Apr 13, 2011)

Sending  . How you are feeling is completely normal but that doesn't make it any easier xxxxxxx


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## linzyj (Jul 8, 2013)

Thanks   xxxxxx


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## Pollybear1 (Sep 5, 2014)

Also sending you . It feels really hard to struggle with infertility and to have to attend so many appointments when other people just find themselves pregnant without a second thought. I found out this week that my sister is pregnant, this will be her third baby. Like you I am pleased for her but I am also very sad for myself and my husband. We have an appointment tomorrow at clinic while she has her first scan, it all feels a little ironic. So my point is you are not alone, we are all here struggling to cope alongside you. Lots of hugs xx


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## linzyj (Jul 8, 2013)

Thanks   It makes me feel better that I'm not alone as sometimes it can feel that way but it also makes me sad that we all have to go through this anyway. Lots of hugs and luck to you too. Xxx


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