# Is there ever a month that you aren't reminded...



## Littlemissv (Mar 6, 2013)

That you aren't a parent and are therefore incomplete??

honestly - I've nearly thrown my laptop out of the window...

You get Christmas, Easter, School holidays, parents evenings, proms, exam results, halloween, bonfire night,  the list just goes on and on...

I've just about coped with all the happy family pictures over the summer holiday... but now its the "look at my child going to school" pictures... My whole news feed on ******** is of first days at school, or first days at new school, or - look how big theyve got compared to last years first day at school....

AAARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I was JUSt about holding it together then that lovely sweet guy from McFly has to go and do another video shairng the news he and his wife are expecting baby number 2 and that was it - I just crumbled.

Think I might be taking a time out from ********...


----------



## KSG123 (May 24, 2015)

Hey Hun. I have no advice I just want to say I know exactly how you're feeling. My ******** feed is exactly the same. I don't know why I do it to myself. I can't bring myself to come off it as I do enjoy catching up and seeing photos it's just the incessant children pictures that get to you. I know it's wrong that I'm blantently jealous and I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy all I crave is the family life with children's laughter instead of loneliness and tears. It's the down days that get to you but we'll get there xx


----------



## Emmylou80 (Aug 14, 2014)

Hi littlemissv. Just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel. I deactivated my ******** account after my last failed cycle. I thought I would hate not being on ******** bit I actually don't miss it it at all, and now I don't have to put myself through seeing the constant stream of scan photos, bump photos, baby photos etc. I have shed so many tears after seeing people's happy baby posts and pictures, and I feel so much better now that I don't see them any more. Big hugs


----------



## swanlake (Nov 7, 2012)

Heh little miss

I feel exactly the same, I got so fed up of face book baby feed that like Emmy I just stopped going on, as you say we are surrounded by it the whole time, so not having just that little bit of peace from face book is great and I don't miss it either! We have enough of it around us- today I had to go to a course and it was in the maternity part of this hospital (yikes!) so any little respite we can give ourselves helps. 

Big hugs to everyone 

Xx


----------



## DollyBlueBags (Aug 5, 2014)

Hiya,

My news feed is exactly the same and to top things off I started my period today and as I type now my hubby is talking to his son on the phone next to me. 

Think I've cried about 5 times today. 

X


----------



## Bahhumbug (Nov 30, 2014)

Mrs Peach  

I reached a bit of a climax with ******** too - husband was getting annoyed with me as it's all just babies, family days out, look at him in his uniform etc etc and I felt like I was torturing myself. I chose to deactivate my account (May not be forever) and mostly I haven't looked back. 
People work it out and say "I tried to send you a message, where are you?" And I feel a bit sheepish but don't give the real reason, just say I wanted to scrape back some free time and they usually laugh and say they envy me (!!!) 
The other side of it is that I don't want my ** friends to feel they have to censor themselves - although personally I think it's rather insufferable, but maybe I'd be the same. 

But what we are going through is such a social taboo. There seems to be no place in society for a childless person. You notice it in the small things all of the time, don't you?

Xx


----------



## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

Hi ladies

Deactivating my ******** was the best thing I ever did. It got to the stage where every time I logged in someone else was announcing a pregnancy or baby's arrival. It was torture!

It's just one of my coping mechanisms - that and avoiding the kiddy dept of ikea on a Saturday.

Be kind to yourselves - this IF is pants!

H xo


----------



## Littlemissv (Mar 6, 2013)

Its good to know i'm not alone!

I agree - infertility is such a taboo topic.. I think I deserve an oscar for some of the mock "happy" faces etc that I have acted out over the years.

I don't know why its suddenly so difficult for me on ********. The challenge I have is that I have family all over the country so ******** is one of the main ways they keep in touch. So if I come off it questions will be asked (and my one cousin did that when she was at the early stages of pregnancy so she didn't blurt it out - so my worry is that they think I have done the same - which couldn't be any further from the truth!)

I think i'm just gonna have to use the "hide" function....

Sorry you are all going through it too  

Look after yourselves girls

L x


----------



## Bahhumbug (Nov 30, 2014)

Husband and I seem to be fighting all the time at the moment, nasty fights that we don't mean. Another last night (basically fuelled by exhaustion, jobs that are all-consuming and leave is with the worst of each other every evening and scrapping over whose turn it is to make dinner...when of course it's really all about how sad and useless we feel about ttc!!) - I went downstairs in tears whilst he fell asleep (much to my annoyance!!) and caught the end of Bride Wars...bad idea and a rookie error!! Should've seen it coming a mile off that the friends would meet up on their wedding anniversaries and both be pregnant and due on the same day! Sorry for the spoiler alert but it's in your/our best interests!!
In an effort to smooth the waters and make up HB has waived the idea of the cinema this weekend which is nice - not sure I can cope with Martian, though, if even bloody Matt Damon can create life on another planet!!!

Thinking of you all on this grotty morning and hoping I can snap out of this mood pronto!! X x


----------



## K jade (Aug 11, 2013)

I think the pain of infertility will always have a tendency to rear its ugly head sadly, and I'm not even sure if it goes away even when you do get your longed for baby.
being able to have a child, in the normal way, is a blessing and a privilege that most people take for granted. 
Ive pretty much hidden all my ******** friends who have families now, as i do not need to see it. 

(((((((((Big hugs))))))))
xxx


----------



## Bahhumbug (Nov 30, 2014)

Thanks for your reply and sorry to have temporarily hogged the thread.
Had a counselling session this morning which was cathartic if not helpful as such. Very nice lady who is outside of the situation and gave me some things to work on.
Here's to a weekend of self-preservation for us all!
Xx


----------



## magicpillow (Feb 8, 2015)

My AF turned up today 4 days early and I've just been bawling my eyes out.  I know that there is no way I could get pregnant naturally as my partner has no sperm but every month is like a slap in the face.  I've already decided that if his TESE/surgical sperm retrieval op is unsuccessful and therefore we can't have IVF, I'm going to ask my GP if I can go on the pill.  I don't think I'll be able to face ovulation and periods for the rest of my fertile days, knowing I'll never carry a baby.  It's too much to bear.....


----------



## Bahhumbug (Nov 30, 2014)

Magicpillow    
Cruel doesn't come close x x


----------



## magicpillow (Feb 8, 2015)

aw thanks for the hug xxx


----------



## KnittyGritty (Apr 17, 2015)

Christmas. Yet another occasion to remind me of the lack of children and dodging the kids question.   I can't seem to be interested and I am just wishing it to be over very quickly.


----------



## Bahhumbug (Nov 30, 2014)

I have a feeling I'm going to be on here a lot over Christmas!
Let's all keep each other sane x x 
 KnittyGritty


----------

