# New



## ~Yvonne~ (Apr 13, 2006)

Hi I just lost my 4th baby on thursday and it's looking like i will never be able to carry my own child.  i just want to know how we would find a surrogate - i am looking on the suk website and guide etc but it isn't clear how we find a surrogate


Yvonne


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## Amandajb (Sep 6, 2007)

Hi Yvonne

It sounds like you're really going through the mill at the moment.  Sending lots of     your way.  

You don't say whether you need a host surro or a straight one, but the important point to remember is that it is illegal to advertise for a surrogate in the UK.  However, there are other legal ways to locate a surrogate and hopefully I'll enlighten you...


COTS and SUK both offer IPs the opportunity to meet surrogates.  I cannot tell you which one offers the most range and opportunities.  As a (dormant) member of COTS, they send me out IP details and then contact you if you are chosen from my list.  SUK works by arranging social gatherings where IPs and surrogates can meet in a relaxed environment.  Both organisations do make a charge to cover membership each year you are a member as an IP.

Smaller organisations such as MDH and ALW will offer you free membership, although I think you can upgrade for a fee (certainly MDH offer this for the premier membership).  This is smaller than COTS or SUK.  They offer support and friendship, as well as some surrogates, but work in a more informal way through get togethers, on line forums and chats.

SMO and OPTS offer a free way of contacting surrogates via classified ads (and vice versa), however, you must be careful as no vetting has taken place and you are approaching unknown people.  This method has, and does, work, however, a certain amount of common sense and caution is strongly recommended.

I work the last way and have a beautiful set of IPs and surro twin boys!

I hope this goes some way to answering your queries.  Please PM or post again.

Good luck.  Your angel is out there I am sure.  

Take care


Amanda


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,
Sorry to hear about your baby.
I lost two myself before we turned to surrogacy, so I know how it feels.
We joined COTS and Surrogacy UK, as we didn't have any friends or family able  to help us, but found we much preferred the friendly relaxed atmosphere of SUK.
We went to lots of their socials and conferences, and I posted frequently on their very active message boards, made some good friends and eventually met our surrogate through them, and our little girl will be two in October. 
We were picked twice by COTS surrogates, but neither worked out, so although we probably waited longer with SUK, 2.5 years, it was worth it in the end.
We are still in touch with our surrogate, and on good terms with her.
The thing is with SUK is it really does work on a friendship first basis, and you only get out what you put in.
Good luck with whatever choice you make.
EJJB
x


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## Grumpygirl (Oct 24, 2004)

Hi Yvonne,
I'm truly sorry for your losses, I really hope you find hope through surrogacy. It's a massive step but I think important to find out the options for the next step.

We have had an entirely positive experience through SUK and have made new friends who really seem to 'get' us and our situation. The support we've had from other IPs has been brilliant and we've been welcomed with open arms. Plus we've met a really lovely lady who's crazy enough to want to help us and now we're working towards making our dream come true with her. Mind blowing really as it's only a year ago we gave up on the IVF.

IM me if you'd like any more info, but there are lots of options. Best of luck with your decisions, to be honest I think the best thing to do is come along to a social if you think SUK might be for you, then you will know for yourself. 

Giggly
xx


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