# so depressed each AF...



## lina1 (Nov 5, 2009)

Hi - I've just started my AF today and feel totally heartbroken again. We have been ttc#2 for 5years (during which time I've had 3 x MCs) and have DS who's now 7 and despite the age gap is still desperate for a sibling. I don't know about anyone else here but every period feels like a mini MC, taking away our dreams again, especially now as I'm 41 and time is slipping away. We started ttc our first child when we were 32, took 9 mths to conceive, had him when I was 34 and started ttc again when he was 2 years old thinking that would be a good gap. If only we'd known........! I'm finding it so exhausting having this amount of emotion every month and it affects my life so much when I should be enjoying being with DS. My first MC had complications and my work was very unsympathetic leading to unfair dismissal hearings (extremely traumatic as I was still under hospital care) which fortunately led to an out of court settlement and allowed me to start my own business 3 yrs ago with a friend who also had 1 child and ttc#2. My business partner went on to have another baby, while I had 2 x MCs and she has now announced she is pregnant again with twins. I am delighted for her but as it is only the 2 of us working together it is also very hard as I am aware of it constantly. I know I am feeling very sorry for myself today and tomorrow will be better but I am sure that many of you know how this feels as I wish I could just give up, appreciate my wonderful family and get on with my life again.....


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## bubblicous (Jan 14, 2008)

lina - i just wanted to give you a huge       i am so so sorry for what you have been through your mc and then the trauma of what happened with you work (thats shocking)

i feel the same with every af its like another peice has been pulled away isnt it another part ripped out 

have the drs looked into your mc


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## lina1 (Nov 5, 2009)

Thank you so much Bubblicous. 

It is so good to come on here and realise that I'm not mad (unless we all are!). I have had loads of tests for the mc s which have all come back normal/unexplained and I had a lap and dye a few months ago which was also clear. 

Infertility was not a problem until recently as I was able to get pregnant but just not keep them - otherwise we could have investigated the IVF route years ago. As it is now we just can't afford it as we are loaned up to the hilt due to the business (it seemed a good idea at the time!). We had our first appointment with an infertility consultant at the beginning of January and only have our next appt at the end of June (it's NHS so I guess we're just not priority as we already have a child?). I have seen on this site lots of mentions of clomid and IUIs - sorry if I seem a bit daft but are these alternatives to IVF that the consultant may suggest? 

Lina1 xxx


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## bubblicous (Jan 14, 2008)

hey again 

thats good that everything has come back clear   

as for the nhs wellit depends on your area im in paisley so under greater glasgow and clyde and there first step for me was to investigate which you have had and then they gave me clomid which makes you ovulate i was given 12 months worth unfortunately that didnt work for me but it works for lots of people so that will probably be your drs first thing 

after my clomid didnt work i was told my only option was to go private and have either iui or ivf we opted for ivf because we were going to egg share to save pennies and basically with egg share both ivf and iui were the same price and ivf has better sucess rates but iui works for lots of people and you might be able to get it on the nhs

fingers crossed when you have your appointment the dr will let you know more about what he can do for you


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