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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

Hi everyone.  This is my first time(using this site that is!) Me and my dp have been ttc since sept 04 and have recently visited our gp who has done some tests for us.  What i really would like is to chat to others who understand the pains of having trouble ttc especially when most people around me seem to have no problem conceiving and therefore have no idea how i and my dp feel.  I would love to chat to someone in similar situation (ie just starting out)  Sorry to go on so much. Wishing everyone a very merry christmas and may all your xmas wishes come true.  Meljn**


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

hello,
I'm very much in the same boat as you me and my DH have been trying to concieve since Oct 04. I went to the GP in Oct 05 and was sent for bloods ans a US as I have irregular AF so, it was thought I may have PCOS and my tests have come back showing a good chance I do.  I've now been reffered to the fatility clinic and go there for te 1st time in Jan.  
I don't know about you but I had no idea about what will happen now etc,and this site is giving me an insite.  Do you have any signs of anything?
Clare


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

This site is wonderful.  Only people going through the same things as you can really understand.  For example i was talking to my friend the other day and saying how difficult it is sometimes and she said she understands how difficult it must be, as she sat there holding her 1mt baby that took 3mths to conceive. And i just throught how can you possibly understand. I have been having regular periods since i came of the pill althrough some months my cycle is 28 days other months it 30. But i always come on and am so fed up of looking at neg tests.  I work with children in a day nursery and that never bothers me it seeing pregnant people that does.  mel***


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

oh my word!! I know exactly where you are coming from!! Iw satold my a woman at wok that have PCOS wasn't that bad she concieved the 2nd mont of trying well thats ok for her but is been over a yr for me!! 
I also work in a childrens day nursery!!!!!! in the baby room so am surrouned by babies all day and cope with that fine but at the moment we have loads of members of staff tat are pregant or just had a baby and I'm fiding that harder as they tell  me it will all work out staring at their own pride and joy which they've had no problem concieving!!
I'm really lucky I work with a woman who has found she can't have children as has blocked tubes so when I'm feeling down I can turn to her she has been so great to me


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

thats really weird that we both do the same job.I work with the toddlers.  I also have a friend at work who works in a baby room and she has pcos so i have her to talk to.  Like you there always seems to be a staff member preggers.  At the moment we have 1 girl who's baby's due in jan and 3 of on mat leave,1 due back in feb.  I think that will be quite hard as everyone will be talking about her coming back especially as she was a student in my room afew years back and is only 21.  It's really great to meet you. Sometimes i feel bad for being alittle bitter towards people who are pregnant, i don't wish them any harm just wish i was in there situation, anyone else feel like this? Is it normal?***


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi meljn and welcome to ff

Its been such a help finding this site and u will love it too.

me and my hubby have also just started out with tests etc so we can always keep each other up to date if u like?

I am 25 and hubby is 24 we have been ttc since july 03 so thats 2 and a half yrs now but only went to the docs in sept this yr.

My hubby did his sperm test and 100% abnormal sperm. I have had blood tests all fine and an ultrasound all fine just waiting to have my HSG.

It is hard as all my friends fall pregnant by just looking at a bloke and then say things like it will happen for u and i understand but like u say how can they ever possibly feel how i do - its heartbreaking for me.

Hope to speak to u soon

Kate


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

I know totally what you mean mel  you don't want to wish anything bad on them and you are happy for them but I feel a little bit jelous thats its them not me.  I've found people at work knowing about my problem has helped as they try not to rub it in my face as much.  We have 4 members of staff one had a babay end of Oct, one beginning of Dec, one hadher baby lsat week 6 weeks ealry and the other due end of Feb so its all been go at work and babies.
Kate I've prob said hi to you on another thread but hi again and if you need anyone to talk to let me know, I think its really nice to have a group of people to talk to andunderstand what you are feeling


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

Kamac80 It would be lovely keeping each other updated.  Is your hubby's sperm count normal or abnormal?  And do you know when your hsg is going to be?  Not to sound to stupid  but what is hsg and do you have it done at a certain time in your cycle?  Sorry for being abit thick. Anyway good luck.

shouldwood, you know the girl i told you about (the one who was my student) well she came in today with her baby and i felt really sad.  Everyone was saying to her how much the baby looks like her now where as before she looked more like her dp and all i thought was i may never know what its like to look at a baby and decide if it looks like me or my dp.  Do you get what i mean?hope you had a good day at work anyway.

I phone the docs today to get my results the plan was that me and my dp would have our test then both go see the doc together to discuss the outcome, but when i rang this morning i found out that she is of till thurs although they did say that the day2 test had to be redone, does anyone think this is bad news?  So will make appointment for thurs.  My dp also rang for his results but didn't really understand them, they said that the mobility was ok buy something was at 15 when it should be at 50, any idea what they are talking about?  Anyway sorry to go on.  Take care everyone.  Mel***


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

yeah I know totally how you feel about thinking you won't have some one to look at andsee who they look like, even if we adopt can't do that.
Sorry I have no idea about your tests, I only had on setof bloods done and didn't have to be talken at any particular time of cycle.  With the sperm tests I have no idea either Iain went for his results and then was just told everything was ok


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi shouldwood yeah i have said hi somewhere else! I post so much on here its hard to keep up to date with who ive chatted to!!

Hi meljn - my hubbys sperm count is really high but it is 100% abnormal - 93% have abnormal heads so they cant get into the egg and the other 7% have abnormal tails so they just swim round and round!!

God knows when i will get my HSG its short for a hysetrscopy which is where i have an xray and they put dye in my tubes to see if they are blocked or not. They do it instead of a lap and dye as its less time off work which is a shame!! They do the HSG on day 10 of your cycle.

Speak soon

Kate xx


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

Hi Kamac80 Thanks for explaining   thing, i get it now. Does your hubby get upset or feel like its his fault?  Now you've said what a hsg is i know as my friend had one done.  Thanks for that, hope you didn't think i was .Hope we all get what we want for xmas.Sending you all some


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## TessaF (Aug 15, 2005)

Hi Meljn

Hope the site is proving useful!  I think most of us who have been ttc for some time feel a little resentful of those around us who get pregnant - not in a spiteful way just a "why isn't it my turn yet" way!  I find its especially painful near to christmas when you see all the cute little outfits you wish you could buy - its a good job my dogs aren't baby sized or else they'd be dressed up in chrismas pudding outfits by now!

take care

c x


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi meljn thanks for the fairy dust! or is it baby dust?!!

U are not mad or thick - this site is such a learning curve i thought i knew it all but i dont!! Plus i feel happier as i now know im not the only person in the world in this situation!

When my hubby first got his SA results he was a bit upset by it and i had the usual thing of him saying - why dont u leave me and be with someone who can give u children.

But after a good chat he is fine now but he now has it in his head we will never have kids when i believe it will happen for us 1 day

Take care

Kate xx


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

Tessa F this site is so useful.  It's so nice to have the support of others and it funny to think we don't even know each other but are all connected by our dreams of having a baby.  I know what you mean about cute outfits and i think my cats would look very cute as a santa or xmas pud! (wouldn't dress them up or dp may take me to the loony bin!) Thanks for the support.***

Kamac80 It's baby or fairy dusts, maybe abit of both!  I really hope you do have a baby one day. Its good to be positive although sometimes really hard, i can't ever imagine looking at a positive test result although i have seen many negs, i hope one day to see a pos.


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi meljn

I will think it as baby dust then!! Thanks for the message - i have seen many   as i always seem to be a few days late and twice i have been 2 weeks late and done loads of tests but wasnt to be!!

I am looking forward to xmas though!!!!


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## TessaF (Aug 15, 2005)

In relation to that last comment I think I should buy shares in the pg testing companies - and the prenatal vitamins companies too for good measure!  (If I see another bottle of pink sanatogen i think i may have to commit an act of random violence...!

c


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

lol clare!!!

I aquire my pg tests from work (well NHS have to be good for something!!)

But i am fed up of taking folic acid tablets!! Doctor recommended them even when trying which i didnt know - feel quite clueless really!!

Kate xx


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

I hate having to take folic acid although i do everyday, i just feel like sometimes it's a reminder that you still aren't preggers. Anyone else feel like that? I don't think theres a day i don't think about it and am alittle worried that i'm becoming obsessed. My dp is wonderfully supportive but thinks i'm mad taking my temp and and putting legs up in air after ( sorry if tmi).Anyone else do this?!? And i have also decided not to buy any more test until at least 1wk overdue af as can't bare looking at anymore neg tests.


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi meljn

hun we are all obssessed in some way - im the same always thinking about making a baby - i dont take my temp but do the daft thing and put my legs in the air!!

It will happen one day when it wants to!!

Sorry to ask and apologise if i already have asked (getting old i think!!) Where have u got on your tests? And investigations?

Kate xx


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

I work for the NHS but don't manage to get my tests from there.  I've given up on doinfg them unless I actualy feel i might be pregnant,  with my cycle being totally mad it was jsut a waste of money.  I'm now on day 32 so it could be any day now or could be weeks away still
I do my temp ( and no signs of ovulaton from it!!) but given up on the legs in the air etc.
Clare


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

shouldwood I've think I'll stop with my legs in the air,obviously not working.  Whats the max your cycle has been?  I usually have a 28 but occasionally have a 30,thoses are the months that i do a test cause I'm a day late but then come on the next day.  I've been doing my temp for acouple of months and it does seem to change so I'm not sure if i ovulate, going to discuss with doc on thurs.

Kamac80 Not sure whats going on with tests my day2 came back with a problem and dp had a note attached to   test so need to discuss with doc hopefully will know more then.Thanks for asking.
Take care girls***


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

my cycle can go anywhere from 35-36 days right up nearly 10 weeks


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## Pickle_99_uk (Dec 12, 2005)

HI, 

Welcome to ff.  I'm pretty new to the site myself andf I'm addicted already.  Its great to chat to people who know what this feels like.  My DH and I are hopeing to start IVF early next year (if his SSR goies well).  I'm a teacher and am around kids all day so sometimes its hard when i see them neglected by parents or all i hear from parents are bad things about their kids.  i feel like shouting at them that ehy are so lucky to have kids!

Anyway, I'll stop going on or I'll be off on a rant for hours!

Welcome again and I hope you find the site as supportive as I do, 

Tracy


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

tracy i know exactly where u are coming from I hear parets moaning about their children everyday and would love to say at least yo can have some


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## Jappa (Nov 16, 2005)

Hi Meljn

It's hard when you are starting out, lots of anxieites and uncertanties at not knowing what to expect and the waiting for appointments is a real strain.  You'll get lots of support and advice from this site.  Goodluck with your IF journey.

Jappa xx


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Hi ladies

Just thought I'd mention that an HSG is not a hysteroscopy but a hysterosalpingogram...2 different procedures...

A hysteroscopy is where they look directly inside your womb, via the cervix, to check for any abnormalities.

An HSG is where they flush through a special dye, through your womb to see if it spills out through your tubes into pelvic cavity...and if it doesn't spill they can see any blockages...they can trace this dye on a screen, like an xray...you may find this of interest...

http://www.ivf.com/hsg.html

I had an HSG about 18yrs ago following a lap & dye that showed I had severe endo, dense adhesions & blocked tubes (old blood/endo/adhesions)...thankfully the dye from the lap/dye as well as from HSG pushed through the obstructions in my tubes so they're nolonger blocked although still damaged & sluggish. I've also had 4 hysteroscopies as it was found I had a bicornuate uterus (heart shaped) and have had corrective surgery on it, as well as removal of uterine adhesions & polyps.

As for sperm analysis...a count less than 20million is classed as low...they like to see a minimum 30% morphology/normal forms & minimum 50% motility....you may find this of interest...

http://www.advancedfertility.com/malefactor.htm

Hope that helps & clears things up a bit....

Wishing you lots of luck on your ttc journey 
Take care
Natasha


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

Pickle and shouldwood, i know exactly what you mean. It makes me cross at work as we have alot of full time children and this week there parents are of but the children still come in.  I know its a busy time of year but its all about the children.

Jappa thankyou for the good luck, right back at you.

Minxy thankyou for clearing that up.And for the   info. Good luck with your ivf treatment.

Merry Christmas to you all.  And hopefully we all get want we want next year!


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi nastasha thanks hun for that - i dont think i looked at the paper properly!!

hi meljn - let me know whats happening with your results. Did i tell u i went for a scan on tuesday? Cant remember who i have told!! They found a cyst on the left ovary about 1 cm wide the right ovary is clear - the doctor said it looked like the start of endometriosis but they will keep an eye on me - im not too worried at the moment.

Speak soon girls

Kate xx


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

kamac80 Yes you did tell me about the scan.  I think its wise not to worry yet away.  Just enjoy christmas.
I phoned the docs to make an appointment for today but couldn't get in today and i'm really busy tomorrow so will leave it till next week, and am trying not to think about it as i worry.


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Dont worry meljn i am a born worrier!!

I try and tell myself and i will tell u that fate will let things happen when it wants to and when we do have babies it will be the most wonderful thing ever and also we will love our babies so much more than some women can ever imagine as we know the pain we have gone through and long journey to get there  

There thats my deep and meaningful paragraph for the day

Kate xx


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

shouldwood any sign of af?Or other?  Hope you are ok and have a fab christmas.

Kamac80 I'm sure it will be the most wonderful thing when we finally get there.  I

I was so   today, after we finished work at 12 me and some colleagues decided to go for a drink and catch up in a very posh pub/hotel in town.  There was at least 6 babies and 4 small children there!  I just wouldn't take them there as it is really posh and definitely a place for adults. I felt like they were reminding me of what i haven't got. I know i shouldn't take it personally but just feel really sensitive at the moment.

Anyway hope you all have an excellent Christmas and a very happy new year(we are going to Disneyland Paris for new year!Very excited) 

Good luck to all of you testing over Christmas period hope you all get


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

no sign of af yet, my temp has crept up so might be a sign of something on day 36 so don't think its ovultion!!


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

shouldwood, kamac80 and anyone 3else. Hope you had a great Xmas. I did and got loads of nice presents to, especially from my dp but he did enlist my two friends to help him! My dp hasn't got to work now tomorrow so i may try get a Dr's appointment,hope my doc's not of. I am due on sunday so if i do need another day2 test done then i can have it done next week (after i get back from Disneyland Paris,sooo excited) Anyway hope everyones alright, Take care. Melissa***


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

hiMel,
Glad you had a good xmas.  I did too, found it hard at times watchin all the children out on teir new bikes etc.  Got some lovely presents me andDH didn't get each other too much as going to Austalia in 5 weeks, other members ofthe familt gave us money towards the trip etc.


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi melissa i had a great xmas day - there was only 4 patients on the ward and 7 staff nurses so we had a good laugh by playing games and mucking about and eating too much!! Then 1 of the consultants came in and gave us some champagne which we drank with him - it was very nice but felt guilty as we should have been looking after the patients!! Hope u get an appointment.

Hi shouldwood i am so jealous that u are going to Australia - just relax and have a great time  

Kate


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

i'm really hoping it wll help me relax and try forget about things for a while of course dependng what tey say at teh hospital


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

Shouldwood,glad you had a good Christmas. Wow Australia will be cool have a fab time and relax!  I found it hard this morning watching the children playing in the snow but hopefully we will all have better luck next year! Any signs yet? Keep your chin up  
Kamac80 Sounds like you had a fun Xmas, thats what its all about.  Did i read on another  post that you want to lose weight? Just i really want to also lose around 2stone and thought we could support each other with this also. Really sorry if it wasn't you i get so confused  as there are so many of us, although I'm pleased to see so many bfp recently.
I am due on sunday and Dr's was shut  today will try tomorrow!  No signs of af but some months i do other months nothing so who knows 
Hope you are well. Love Melissa ***


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

no sign of AF on day 40 now!!! decided i don't want to start till at least tomorrow nght as I'm working at dif nursery tmorrow (we combine with another trust nursery fothese 3 days) and once tomorrow is out of the way I'm off again till tues.  Have felt a little sick the last couple of mornings but not getting hopes up or doing test as chart showed no ovulation


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

Shouldwood, day 40! that must drive you mad not knowing when the   may show up.  Maybe she won't this month!    
We have to stay positive. I think i have af pains but try not to think about them or i feel really  .  I actually felt really   early and cry alittle so that probably means   is on her way. Also snapped at dp for no real reason. Felt really bad after. And one got any words of wisdom for me,they would be much appreciated.Melissa*


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

will think positive thoughts that you AF doesn't arrive!!


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi melissa yes that was me u read on another post - i want to lose around 2 stone as well and need to lose a stone in the next 6 weeks for a ball so that would be fantastic to update each other once a week or something? We could start a new post on FF between us if u like on a starting weight and measurements and then post once a week when we weigh? I am doing this with a couple of mates from work as our aim is to get fit and slim so that we can go to the hospital ball next christmas!!! (seems ages away but it would be worth it!)

Let me know wot u think hun?

Take care and will be about 2moro on here

Kate xx


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

Kate sounds like a good plan-lets discuss it more in the new year! 

Have finally got a doctors appointment! but not until Tuesday! I really hope dp doesn't get called out at work or he won't be able to come. I am getting mild af pains but i only get them when I'm on ff site?!?   Anyaway going to face the sales in town today and get some bargains, everyone take care and keep warm! Melissa


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

I am glad you Ladies have found FF and each other. I have been a nosy moo and read all your posts,
I have also spoke to 1 or 2 of you in chat! 
*kate* you said you worked christmas on a ward? are you a HCA or Staff nurse by any chance?
*Shouldwould* when are you off o Australia amd for how long?
*Mellissa*  & 
I would like to wish you all  on your IF Journey may it be a short one! 

Also wanted to give you a link http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,41661.0.html

Its to ask for acsess to our very own belly buddies group, a place where you weigh yourself weekly and post your pounds up or down! along with hints tips and yet more support! it does not matter whose plan you are following our efforts are combined whether your doing your own healthy eating plan, WW or SW or other....
it is a hidden board thats why you need to ask to join it!

~Dizzi~


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

Hi therre i go to oz on 28th jan for 3 weeks i can't wait!!!


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

Hey dizzysquirrel, thanks for the good luck i think I'm gonna need it! And cheers also for the link.  Sorry to sound like an  but on your signature it says egg donor with bf, does this mean bestfriend?  If so thats great and when do you plan to start this?  i hope all goes well for you.  

Shouldwood, Now Xmas is out the way you must be so excited about going to oz, i know i would be.  When you are in oz i will be in poland on a hen weekend(not really sure what to expect except it being cold!)  I'm sure I'll "speak" to you before then but just encase have a wicked time. 

Kamac80 before you said you were a student nurse, what year on you in?  Hope you all well.  Melissa ***


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi all  

Dizzi = I am a student nurse doing an open uni course for 4 yrs i have done 2 already and hope to qualify in jan 2008! Also thanks for the link i will check that out it sounds like a fab idea! And thankyou for taking the time to read our posts as i know it can take ages to look through a few of the posts on FF site!! Hope u have a fantastic new yr xxx

Melissa = I am now going into my 3rd yr of student nursing starting on the 4th feb - i kind of failed the 2nd yr so had to resubmit some work which i have done now and will get the result hopefully in 4 weeks but my tutor thinks i will pass no problems - i am not very good academically and find the written work hard! I would love to have a chat in the new yr and i am going to check out the site that dizzi has recommended    Also let me know how tuesday goes hun

Take care and speak soon

Kate xx


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Hi all  

Yes My Signature does mean Donor egg from my best friend, she has had her bloods taken so in a few week s we will know if she is suitable for a second time! (she did all this for us back in '97)

Kate well done on doing your nursing - I keep putting it off because of the vicious circle of TTC/Tx I am currently a level 3 HCA on a general surgical admissions ward! 

Oz sounds Fab now you need a holiday ticker!
~Dizzi~
^wily nilly^


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi dizzi i was a HCA for 2 yrs on the medical assessment ward but then this oppourtunity came up and i took it as its part time and i can fit around my life although to be honest it is easier not having kids as i know the ladies on the course who have kids are finding it hard work. Also its good coz i get paid a HCA wage so i can still live and pay the mortgage!!

Take care

Kate xx


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

hi everyone. Just got back from Disney- it was better then i thought i was gonna be .  Still no sign of the   and I've had no pains but i don't always. Going to see the doc tomorrow am really nervous and worried about what she'll say but at least we will know something.  Anyway news form anyone else?  Hope you are all well. Take care. Melissa***


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

hi Mel,
Glad you had a good time.  No news from me started taking some herbel stuff see if that will help me.  I'm getting nervous with a week to go to seeing the consultant.
Best of look for tomorrow, if they did find anything at least you will know and can work from there.  When i found out about my PCOS to start wth it was a relief that we had found out that there was a problem and we can work from there, but then for a short while it turned to worry as I found out more about it and the other parts of PCOS. Now I feel i know what we re working with and just getting as much info as i can to what is going to happen from now on and what I can do to help us.


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

Hi everyone. Went to see the doc today, it started of badly as soon as i entered the waiting area there were two pregnant people waiting! Doc said that on my day 2 estrogen(not sure of spelling ) level was slightly low but nothing to bad, I'm to have  another test done on day 3-6 instead have been booked in for Thurs but she did say i had ovulated last cycle so thats good. DP has slightly low count nothing to unusual,mobility fine but a small percent abnormal.She said however that there is no reason we shouldn't fall pregnant naturally and we are to ring her at easter if no joy by then and she will refer us to the hospital. So not negative news just we wanted a baby NOW!!1 Anyway hope you are all OK.
Shouldwood what herbel stuff are you taking?
Kamac80 are you ready to start dieting?!?

Melissa***


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

thats good news that they think you should concieve naturall but bad they won't refer u yet!
I'm takin Agnis Castus supposed to help


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi melissa - im starting tomorrow as i will weight myself on the work scales but i have been really good today!!!

Catch u soon hun - PM me if u like hun

Kate xx


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