# Why is our little one doing this?



## Ipswichbabe (May 17, 2005)

Our little girl who has been living with us 9mth has been collecting items in her bed at night time. It started with knickers & socks from her drawers which she would get out after we had said good night. We asked her & for a while she wouldn't answer but laugh. Then dh asked & she said coz it makes me happy. So we just went with it and kinda ignored it not making a big do over it, but now it's expanded to everything.... Toys, books, ornaments, her night light lady bird, her boxes with nik naks in, her hair bands/slides, brush.... Well the list goes on. It only happens at night, 
I don't know if it hording. As from what I've read online hording is usually secretive and items hid under the bed. 
I've spoken to the health visitor and she says just ignore it and it probably a phase. But like I say it's everything now! I've put some items on high shelves. 
I'm just wondering if there is an underlying problem to this? Or am I analysing it too much because she's adopted & I've read too much about attachments & emotional issues. 
I've posted on parenting site & all others have said they never heard of it before. Someone please what should I do?


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

Our daughter who has been with us 8 months does this, have to say I've never read anything into, I put it all away when I change her bed then by the end of the week there's hardly any room for her left in the bed!!! And so it goes on. She is wake though for a long time after going to bed bed so I think a lot of it are things she gets and either plays a while with or we can hear her singing to them. She's happy enough up the and is still an early riser so we just let her get on with it.


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

I remember my bs doing this to a much less extent, if he had something new he liked to take it to bed with him!  
Dd often has lots of belongings in bed with her, to a much greater degree than ds ever did.....
She is particularly territorial over her 'things' and gets very distressed if she thinks anyone is taking them away. Many things and indeed people have disappeared from our Los life's so far so I guess it makes sense that they want to keep hold of them as much as possible.... While I'm not suggesting that your little girl has a problem I do think its understandable, she's only been with you for 9 months and probably still feels insecure to a degree.
Personally I would just go with it, put the items back where they belong in the morning when you make her bed and at nighttime point them out to her, 'look there are your hair clips on the shelf, they will still be there in the morning'
By being accepting of her need to have all her things close hopefully she will begin to relax enough to trust they will stay.....
 CS xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

We're the same as mini I've never really thought about it  but my eldest does do it.  Not as much as she used to.  She did it in fc I just thought it makes sense really when you've lost so much to cling on top stuff.  Also night time is very scary for a lot of kids so being surrounded by things may help with this.  Xx


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## Ipswichbabe (May 17, 2005)

I spoke to the pre school about this & the play leader said Google schema. Which I think she may be... But what I don't understand is how to manager a schema child. 
Google tells you all about the behaviour and what's common during play which actually our little girl does on lots of the behaviours. 
It's sonething to do with the brain developing.
But does anyone here know more about schema' who could tell me in basic language what it's all about & how I should manage it.
Thanks xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Sorry never come across it  hope someone can help xx


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## marie123 (May 2, 2011)

Hi ipswitch babe.  your little one is not 'a schema' a schema is a phase of learning where they repeat an action over and over in different  ways as the learn. A common one you may recognise is the toddler who constantly 'posts' things in little holes/spaces. Please don't worry it is absolutely normal. My 18 month old has a "throwing" schema at the moment - all good fun lol. Tina Bruce has a good book about schemas if you are interested. 
I would just go with it. I might also be tempted to take her shopping for a pretty box (works do them) that is just for her to put all her special things in. Or a blank box to decorate together, or depending on her age the 'fairies' could send one with a letter. Sounds to me like keeping all her special things is her way of being in control, understandable if she has experienced loss. It will pass. Goodluck x


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