# New partner and having treatment at same clinic as with ex - any advice?



## choccycake (Oct 24, 2005)

Hi Everyone

Well briefly - had previous cycles of ivf and fet with now ex husband. - Found out he was having an affair........
I've now met a lovely man we get on really really well and this is a serious relationship.  He is 40 and i'm now 38.
He has no children from his previous marriage, and needs icsi with ivf due to sperm problems.
We would both like to have a child together and ivf is our only option.  We have been together for 6 months, and we are looking to move in together just after christmas (not straightforward as 2 houses to sell etc etc). We spend all our spare time together usually at my house.  Does anyone know if ivf clinic would want us to have been together longer than this? - we would be looking to start tx after middle of april next year as i'm training for marathon and can't do it before then.
We are both very sure of what we want, and not being teenagers are aware of stuff that could go wrong.
Has anyone been in this position? some people may say we haven't been together long enough - although it will be a year by the time we get round to tx.  We would go for it tomorrow though!
Do clinics ask about your relationship?, we have good income, and lovely house(s)!, partners job means we may move to scotland so we are looking up there for houses in october 1/2 term but would have treatment at clinic here.
Any advice would be welcome, we've thought really seriously about things and this is definitely what we want to do i'm just worried that the clinic might say no due to length of relationship, and neither of us are getting any younger.
K x x  x


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## Bex78 (Dec 8, 2009)

Hi Choccycake,

I assume from your profile info that you are going private because of children from a previous marriage, in which case I don't think your relationship length will come into it.  I know with the NHS it would, simply because you have to try naturally for 2 years as part of their criteria.  If you're worried you could always fib!  Who's to know you haven't been together longer!?!

Good luck!

PPx


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## habuiah (Sep 2, 2010)

Hi choccocake I am going for first time ivf with new partner we have been together for 18 mths and we new from the start we wanted a child together a don't think it matters how long yove been together especially if you're going private we are because am 40 yrs young nhs wont treat me. i wish your new partner and you every success on your journey.take care.


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## choccycake (Oct 24, 2005)

Thank you for your lovely replies, 
It is private tx, so hopefully will be ok!
Also I had previous tx there with ex, so clinic will know its a new partner.....
Keep everything crossed- have to self refer again as apparently now classed as new patients!
x


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## choccycake (Oct 24, 2005)

Just had an email from the clinic, they have the referrral, now waiting to see if we will get registration forms so we can be treated there.  Feel a bit nervous, and really hoping they will let us have tx as don't want to go to another clinic.
Feeling a bit down about it, as feel that I didn't have an affair and end the marriage (ex did), yet by his behaviour it is now making things harder for me for my new future.    Why can't things be a bit easier sometimes? x


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## choccycake (Oct 24, 2005)

Hi
A little update - got the forms for registration through from the clinic.  Lots to fill in, then they will say whether we can have an appointment for initial consultation.  Also will fill in welfare of child form at the clinic with us - i'm sure we didn't do that the same last time although that may be different now as last time gp had to fill in forms and send them to the clinic - can anyone tell me what their clinic did?
I can't remember if they did that last time or not and now paranoid I think about whether they will agree to treat us as we haven't been together for years and we aren't married either - or engaged.  
I don't want to ring the clinic to ask as they might think i'm being strange - and I don't want it to affect our treatment.
Any help/advice would be lovely
Choccy x x x x


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