# Lesbians Using Donor Sperm Part 2



## Jayne

Cyclers  

2ww - Good luck!   

Misty* - DIUI - Testing 20 April 

(Nismat) Tamsin* & Karen - DIUI - Testing 3 May 

(Starrysky) Healther* & Jo - DIVF - Testing 14 May 

In between treatment

Edith* & Mabel - DIVF in June

Herbaltea* - HSG 11 May then DIUI

Precious Cargo On Board  

(Bagpuss1) Kerry* & Helen - DIUI - EDD 9 Jan  

Our Miracle is Here 

Please let me have any additions/amendments to the above list 

* = Partner having treatment

Jayne x


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## crazycat

Helen & Kerry!!!!  So pleased to hear your fab news.
Everyone keep fingers x for us tomorrow 11:30am.
Off to pub quiz now - Dont ask!!  But there will be no alcohol passing our lips.
Jo & Heather xxx


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## bagpuss1

Hi everyone,

Thank you for your good wishes,

Jayne- thank you for re-assuring me about the discharge, you have made me feel much bettr about it all. It seems to be settling down now, fingers crossed it will stay that way!! Do the AF like "experiences" go away through pregnancy or is this how it feels throughout?

Heather and Jo- I will already have my legs crossed tomorrow so will cross everything else for you. Good luck for tomorrow we will both be thinking of you.

Speak soon,

Love Kerry and Helen


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## Jayne

Hi Kerry 

Glad I could reassure you a bit. 

I had AF type pains particularly strongly - was running to the loo every 2 seconds to knicker check - during weeks 4-12, and especially in weeks 4-6.  Remember getting them first the day after my positive HPT.  Very frightening, but also very normal.  

They do tend to hang around though right throughout pregnancy, and you will soon get used to a vast array of aches, pains and twinges, which sometimes can worry you, but are more than likely perfectly normal.  It's only severe, and I mean doubled up severe, pain you have to have concern about - unless of course you're around 40 weeks pg    the other stuff is just your body letting your baby snuggle in   

Love 

Jayne x


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## herbaltea

WOW - just popped in to check the board before going shopping! FANTASTIC - a BFP on the board!!!!!!! Kerry and Helen, you must be over the moon - really pleased for you!  

Will catch up properly later on.....

Bye for now,

love herbaltea! aka S_ _ _ _ !!!!!!!!!!!


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## crazycat

Ok Herbaltea - 
I now think you must be Sarah.
Heather says she thinks it is Sadie.

I am up at the crack of dawn - nerves have kicked in!!!  Best have some coffee before I drive Heather to hospital, don't want to be falling asleep.

Will check in later/tomorrow.
Jo


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## bagpuss1

Hi Herbaltea,

Hope you have had a good two weeks at work, welcome back to the land of FF. Thanks for your good wishes, Sally?!!!! We are still in total shock, I keep thinking any minute now someone is going to tell me its a joke!! What a Birthday present!!!

Jo and Heather, Thinking of you, hope it goes okay today.

Lots of Love Kerry, Helen and Blastocyst!!


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## crazycat

We are back, all went vey well.  We have 2 embies grade 2, one has 4 cells, the other 5!!!!!!  
We are going to eat a peice of chocolate & watch Briget Jones now whilst wearing comfy slippers.  
Love Jo, Heather, Molly the cat & our 2 Zygotes.  xxxx


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## herbaltea

Hi - wow - really pleased there is 'precious cargo on board' now! There could be more on soon if the zygotes behave - wow!  

2 weeks (ish!) till our diu planning appointment - getting quite excited but not looking forward to all the probes and scans!! Hey ho - needs must!

Hope your'e all having a great bank holiday weekend,

Sarah!!!!!!! well done to Jo!!!!


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## nismat

It's so great to see Kerry & Helen in the Precious Cargo section!  I'm really pleased that it worked for you this cycle, especially as I know that you were so convinced that it wouldn't, with the low sperm count and everything. 

Heather & Jo, good to hear about your embroyo transfer today. Sending you lots of *sticky vibes* and good luck for your  

And Sarah   those 2 weeks until your planning appointment will soon be gone - you must be getting excited! 

Only 2 more days before I test; I've been fairly convinced that it hasn't worked for most of the wait so far. However, my temperatures did rise an extra 0.3C the other day, and although they dropped a bit again, they have stayed higher than they were before. Also, although my boobs are normally sore for about a week before I get my period, they are mega sore this time around, so you never know, it could be good news for me as well. 

Tamsin


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## Jayne

Heather & Jo - Glad to hear you've got your 2 embies back on board.  Good luck!      What date are you due to test? 

Tamsin - Fingers crossed for you that your signs are leading to a BFP.  Good luck!   

Love 

Jayne x


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## herbaltea

Tamsin - the very best of luck for testing day - wouldn't it be fantastic to have 2 precious cargos on board!


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## crazycat

Hiya everyone!

Tamsin - Loads of luck for testing day.     
Wouldn't it just be fab if we all got good news?

We will be testing on 14/5/05 - We are trying to view this as a 2 week holiday from traipsing up & down to the clinic!   

Sarah!!! - I am ridiculously chuffed to have guessed your name!!   

Love Jo, Heather with 2 zygotes inside & Molly the very jealous cat!


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## nismat

Well, unfortunately I haven't got as far as testing day - my period started this afternoon. Only a 26 day cycle, which is 2 days less than normal, although I don't know if that signifies anything (e.g. it being an early miscarriage or something like that - probably not).

Obviously we're a bit disappointed, but I'm not feeling _too _ bad; we always knew it was very unlikely to work first time around, so now we've just got to move forward and on to the next cycle. I'll be calling the clinic first thing on Tuesday as I'm expecting to go on to Clomid this cycle, so I'll need to get the tablets pronto.

All of that aside, we've been having a lovely BH weekend with my sister and my gorgeous niece Ella staying, so we have been having lots of cuddles and laughter which has been great. Ella absolutely adores Karen and insists on doing everything with her, which is so sweet.

Hope you're all enjoying yourselves and relaxing for a few days,

Tamsin


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## herbaltea

Hi Tamsin,
Really sorry to hear your news,   but as you say it is only the 1st cycle so there is every chance that it will be a positive next time round - even more so with Clomid!  

Glad your'e having a great BH weekend - the sun has finally come out down here at last - phew - off to do some gardening!


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## starrysky

Sorry to hear your news Tamsin. 

   for your next shot.

Heather


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## herbaltea

SO much for the BH weather expectations!!! I even bought a new turbo powered strimmer which I haven't been able to use today - umphhhh! Hey ho, at least I won;t feel guilty watching the tv instead!!

Has anyone heard from Misty? I thought she was testing a few weeks back?


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## nismat

After having a bit of a low day yesterday, I'm feeling much more upbeat again today, and looking forward to getting on with this cycle   
I called the clinic first thing and I'm going in tomorrow for a base-line scan and to get my Clomid tablets. Because of the BH meaning an extra weekend day, I won't be starting them until day 4, but the nurse said this should be OK given my (normal) cycle length/ov date. 

I know very little about Clomid, so any info any of you can pass on would be much appreciated! 

Herbaltea - what a bummer that you didn't get to use your new strimmer over the Bank Holiday  I love my power tools!


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## starrysky

Hi Tamsin

Glad to hear you are feeling more positive today, and that your second cycle is already getting going. 

I took Clomid for a total of 12 months over my IUIs sometimes stopping for a while when we took a break.  I think for some people it is the drug that makes the difference, so fingers crossed for you. 

Heather


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## starrysky

Edie/Mable - You okay? Haven't heard from you for a while. Hope you are okay. Maybe you are on a fantastic sunny holiday to prepare for your IVF?   .

I am having at least a couple of days off work in the hope that my lovely embies will implant more easily. I am a bit crampy, and a bit low in mood today. Already the 2WW is dragging and it is only day 4. 

Heather


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## Mable

Hi,
Sorry for our silence - we are in the final stages of buying our first house (we should get the keys on Friday, we think..), our lives are in boxes and we are all over the place! Thank goodness we are inbetween treatment. We have our appointment with the nurse in a couple of weeks - its amazing how time zooms past when you are busy with something else - the power of distraction.

We have been following all your progress (very exciting about the embies that they put in!) and have fingers and toes crossed for you Heather and Jo for a  . Sorry to hear that you have been having cramping, must be scary. Hope the awful 2WW passes and you find ways to take your mind off wondering whether they are implanting or not.

Tamsin, sorry to hear your first try didn't work, good luck for the next.

Kerry - many congratulations to you both!

Good luck all
Mable (ps not my real name ...)


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## starrysky

Hi Mable

Happy New Home, and hopefully it will soon be filled with the patter of tiny feet!!!  .

I am more positive today, ovary twinges lessening and cramping lessening. Probably going to stay off work till the end of the week just so that I can tell myself if it didn't work that I did rest and I did the best I could. 

Those embies, William and Mary, will be blastocysts now and will be looking at that uterus wall and debating whether to check it out. Go on Wills and Mary you know you want to!!

Having been though it at Kings we are always here for any questions you and Edie have about the IVF. One thing I would say is that they took very good care of us. 

Tamsin - hope you are doing okay. 

Kerry and Helen - how's it going?

H


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## nismat

Hi all, I'm feeling really upbeat today after my visit to the clinic. Had an ultrasound, and I've now taken my first Clomid tablet (50mg). I'm going back next Wednesday for another scan to see how things are developing, and then we will take it from there with more scans and LH testing/triggers as needed. Obviously I hope that this cycle I will have a greater chance of success, but I have now resigned myself to the fact that it could take several goes for it to work. Just don't want to think about the accumulating costs!!!  

Heather - I think it's a really positive thing for you to take time off for Wills & Mary (lol) to implant successfully. As you say, at least you will feel that you have done all that you can to give yourself the best chance of it working. Keeping everything crossed for you and Jo. 

Mable and Edith (promise I won't reveal your names  ) - hope that everything goes through on Friday for you to get your keys. We've just started packing our stuff up ready to move on May 27th, and I hate that living surrounded by/out of boxes feeling. It's going to carry on for some time for us, as we won't be completing on our new home until at least 2 weeks later, and even then, we probably won't move in straightaway as we hope to get some messy building work done first. Of course, I'm going to be in my 2ww again when we move out - not ideal! We did talk about skipping this cycle, but decided we really didn't want to.

Babydust to everyone


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## crazycat

Hi all,
Tamsin - great big   sorry to hear this time it did not work out for you, sounds like you are coping well    & I really hope the next time is the one!!

Mable & Edith - Surely these must be your names!!!    Don't tell me, you got jealous of herbaltea & want to have us guess yours as well!
Hope the move goes OK - I recommend takeout for at least 2 days!!

Heather -  My  to you, we have been a bit like ships passing in the night this last few days, so even if it is a bit   needs must!

Sarah - Can't believe you didn't get to use strimmer, we managed a pretty sunny BBQ!

Hi to anyone else I have missed, my head is all over the place so apologies if I have.

Love Jo


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## starrysky

One week since egg collection!!!!!!!!! Only 9 days to go before testing. Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This 2WW is a nightmare. 

 to you too Crazycat with your new "Mistress of the Universe" watch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Jo has been indulging in some retail therapy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

 to all of you.

Heather


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## Mable

Hi,
Well done Heather for doing 1 week! Is the 2ww much worse than those on the IUIs? Thanks for offering to answer questions - I am sure that once we have moved and start thinking about IVF again we will have lots for you! Just out of interest, what music did you choose for egg collection?

Good luck Tamsin with the clomid - are there any horrid side effects? Moving is stressful, but exciting too. We are trying not to call the 2nd bedroom 'the baby's room', as there is no damned baby yet ...

All the best to Kerry&Helen and Herbaltea

Hi to Misty, Julesforgirls and Victoria in London if you're reading.
love Mable


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## Jules*Rich

Hi all! Sorry been MIA (well not so much the action!)

Tasmin - sorry about the BFN - but sounds like your feeling positive about the next cycle, hope the clomid cranks out some good eggs for you  

Mable - how are preparation going for your first IVF in June - are you worried or excited? Hope the home moving is going OK - you'll (hopefully) be in your new house tommorow night, ordering take away! How exciting! Yes and it is not the time to be on a TTC cycle!

Heather - Well done on getting past the first week of your first IVF 2ww - must be a nightmare and I am really not looking forward to that one! I think I will be stuck on the computor obsessing for the whole two weeks! How are you coping and getting yourself through it? 

Hi Jo, and everyone else!

Nurture have provisonally agreed for us to go ahead with eggshare and me get half the eggs of my partner for a cheaper than normal price - it will cost us around a £1000. We are just waiting for a date for the consultation, re-tests, counselling and the OK from the ethics committee. So now it is a reality, the fact that this will mean I never will be able to have my own biological child has hit me, and I am trying to come to terms with that loss. 

Take care all,

Jules x


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## starrysky

Feels like this little man is the one periodically stamping on my ovaries (getting the odd twinge)!!!.

Mable in a way the 2WW is no different because it is waiting for the same thing and I have the same hopes and fears as I did before. 

On the other hand, I have been finding it harder to be positive on each new IUI cycle, but this one I do feel a bit more positive because it is a new kind of treatment. It also feels that more has had to go into the IVF both in terms of emotional cost and physical cost (and financial). The ups and downs of wondering whether the follies are big enough, whether they contain eggs, whether they will fertilise, all these things are more intense. And it does more to your body than IUI's do. Bloating and twinges etc! (How delightful - why do we do it!!!!!!!!!!! ).

Also for us we had thought that it would be one IVF only so this has also increased the 2WW stakes   The reality is that I don't think we will truly know until we know the outcome of this one. 

The other difference is that it feels different due to the cyclogest pessaries. I have got some pregnant feelings especially in the boob department but have to keep reminding myself that it is probably drug-induced. The little period pains are a reminder of this. 

Jules - I don't think I am coping with the 2WW, I am going bananas !!!! I have decided to force myself to go for a walk everytime I go on a negative slump. This has worked well so far, also having reiki tomorrow and I have found that really helpful. 

Good luck with your process Jules. In thinking about not having a second IVF cycle I am also very much got in mind that I may not have a biological child, and I find that difficult too.

Anyway I am rattling on, as you do when in the 2WW. Molly the cat is indicating strongly that she wants some food so better go (good preparation)!!

Heather


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## bagpuss1

Hi everyone,

Hope you are all getting on okay.

Heather- Helen and I are thinking of you, sorry your ovaries feel so naf, you could treat them to lots of chocolate and TLC to make them feel better!! No seriously, you are doing so well and are nearly there. Not long to go now, hang on in there, we are sending lots of good vibe your way. Good luck!! Go William and Mary!! !!!!

Jules- We did think of doing treatment the same way that you are trying to do. We so badly wanted our child to have as much of both of us as is possible and that was the way we would have chosen. What you are doing I think is a wonderfull thing and I really do hope that it goes the right way for you!!
Lots of luck!!

Mable and Edith- Good luck for the move, I hope it goes okay, Will be thinking of you!!!

Things are still going in the right direction for us. Have had no more implantation bleeds since Sunday so that should be good news- Hopefully Fingers crossed!! I went to my GPs last night to let her know of the pregnancy, she did my Blood Pressure and it was quite high (have since done it again and it is normal) 
probably something to do with the really annoying woman sitting whinging in reception and the fact that I had to wait for ages. Other than that, nothing more to add, just a waiting game until our 6week scan on the 16th.

*I just wanted to ask you girls something. I know how difficult it can be when there are other BFPs around. I dont want to upset anyone by posting on this thread. I dont really know what to do with myself whether to stay on here or go onto the IUI BFP site. I honestly wont mind if you find it too difficult. I can always privately message anyone anyway. Let me know what you think- honestly I dont mind what you decide.*

Lots of Love,

Kerry.


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## Jayne

Cyclers  

(Nismat) Tamsin* & Karen - Clomid then DIUI  

2ww - Good luck!   

Misty* - DIUI - Testing 20 April 

(Starrysky) Healther* & Jo - DIVF - Testing 14 May 

In between treatment

Edith* & Mabel - DIVF in June

Herbaltea* - HSG 11 May then DIUI

(Julesforgirls) Jules* - Donor eggs with partners eggs, then DIVF

Precious Cargo On Board  

(Bagpuss1) Kerry* & Helen - DIUI - EDD 9 Jan  

Our Miracle is Here 

Please let me have any additions/amendments to the above list 

* = Partner having treatment

-------------------------------------------

Tamsin - Sending  I'm so sorry you didn't get the BFP you so deserve. Really hope the clomid does the trick and the next cycle works for you  

Jules - Great to hear from you. Hope everything works out on the treatment front. I've added you onto the list. Hope I've got your treatment right 

Babydust to all.

Jayne x


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## Jules*Rich

Jayne - thanks for adding me to the list. Yep you got it right  

Heather - walking when you hit a slump is an excellent idea to get those endomorphins working to lift your mood. Walking can get your mind going to though, which can be good, but if all you can think about is TTC, it can be a nightmare! Sometimes when I walk to work, by the time I get there I am utterly depressed cos I have thought of too much neg stuff - so I hope you are thinking possitve when you are out walking   I am rooting for you, so I hope you do not have to make the decision about doing another IVF cycle or deal with not being able to have your won bio baby - as well as just so you can get your BFP  ! I guess one of the hard things about IVF and the 2ww is that it is hard to plan and say well if this one does not work we will do another, cos the cost is so prohibitive - it is such a big investment in so many ways, how could something not work when you have put so much into it. It's about time clinic's follow supermarkets and do a "buy one get one free"   I am so not looking forward to IVF for these very reasons! Hang in there and don't go too  

Kerry - good luck for your scan on the 16th - it must seem like ages away    Did you get any blood beta level to keep you going until then?

I have to say, you are right it is hard sometimes dealing with pg's in a group - when I first started out, it was not so bad, it was like I can look forward to that myself - but the more ladies that get pg and the more you get left behind, it becomes a nightmare. I have been in several group's where I am the last one still waiting to get pg, and I have had to leave for my own sanity - and that is the hard part for me watching everyone else get pregnant and not me. As I result I have not joined any new groups for a while, and have a much lower profile. 

However, I would not want any person to leave a group on my behalf, and I think it is a shame if you felt you had to leave all your mates because you have got pg. This is especially the case because there are so few of us lesbians on this site, so it may not be possible to off and make a lesbian pg group just yet! It is a difficult one - some groups where they have have rules about when someone who is pg should leave, eg, after the first scan, or at 3 months scan etc. Personally, I'd would prob leave a TTC group at the 3 month scan to join new pg group, which would mean that I can talk about more pg related things - but then still pop in every now and then for update's and to share knowledge and experience. It's hard decision though when you have made close mates in a group and you don't want to leave - so I think it is best that you make the right decision for you, just remember to be respectful and thoughful towards those still TTC (not that you wouldn't  .

Also, maybe you can do the birth mum/ bio mum next time round   It would be a good choice if one partner is averse to pregnancy too      

Tasmin - hows the clomid going?

Love,


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## starrysky

Hi everyone

Jo and I are off to Manchester this weekend (Jo's mums 60th birthday party). Thankfully the IVF worked out right so that we are not supposed to be testing tomorrow, that means that it is almost worth the wait. 

Kerry - will take very seriously your advice about chocolate, infact bought six bars yesterday and two cakes so was already in that way of thinking!!!!  . Haven't eaten any of the chocolate yet, only the cakes. 

Glad to hear your pregnancy is going well, roll on the 6 weeks. Thank you for asking about staying on this thread. I hope you do!! I think it is lovely when people do get a  , it is a reminder that there can be a positive outcome, and that helps when things are not going well. It is also nice to be able to speak to other lesbian women no matter what stage of the process we are at or whether things are going well or badly. I agree with Jules in that we are such a small group on FF it would be sad to lose you. Anyway, apart from that you give good advice (especially chocolate related!!!) 

If you do decide to post on the other thread please pop in now and again to let us know how you are doing or you are welcome to PM me. 

Jules - I know what you mean about negative walking, that was what happened yesterday but I did feel the benefit of it afterwards. I sort of picked up in the evening. I think time has stopped. Yes I think a BOGOF offer would be a good one for IVF with loyalty points for how long you have been with the same clinic. We started in 2001 and it struck me the other day that we have been there longer than many of the nurses and embryologists!!!!!!

Best wishes everyone. 

Heather


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## herbaltea

Hi all,

Kerry - I personally think it would be great for you to stay on this board. I am so over the moon about your BFP and it really does give me inspiration that all this treatment really can work!! So, please stay here!


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## nismat

I've only been off-line for 2 days, and look at all the messages!

I'm doing fine on the Clomid - when I asked about side affects they said that most people don't get them, but they can include headaches, bloating and nausea. I had a bad headache yesterday afternoon (having taken the Clomid at lunchtime), but don't know if it was connected or just because of a fairly stressful day. One side affect that is reasonably common is that your uterine lining is thinned - obviously we won't know if this has happened until my scan next Wednesday am.

*Jules * - good to hear from you again  It's great that things are looking positive for you with Nurture re:the egg-sharing with your girlfriend, but it must be very hard to come to terms with the fact that the child won't be yours biologically. However, I bet that by the time that you had carried the baby for 9 months it will hardly make any difference at all - I'm sure that it will feel "yours" completely, and in many ways much more both of yours as a couple than for those of us where there will only be 1 bio mother. Apart from the reason as to why you have to do it (and what you have to come to terms with) I think that it sounds like a great plan. I hope that doesn't come across as being too simplistic and crass - don't know how else to put it.
BTW, I'm Tamsin rather than Tasmin (but you're not the first to put those letters the wrong way round )

Heather and Jo - not _too _ much longer to go now until testing. Hope that you have a good weekend away.

Kerry - glad things are settling down and that you have seen the doctor etc. The prospect of the scan is very exciting! I also think that you should stick around as a success story in our little group; just by posting on the subject you are clearly already very sensitive to the whole long-term ttc bitterness vs pregnancy joy issues, so I reckon that it should work out OK. And hopefully we will carry on PMing anyway 

That's all from me for now. I'm going to be away from the computer 3 days next week (Tuesday-Thursday), so heaven knows how much there will be to catch up on then 

Tamsin


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## nismat

Just thought that it was time that our thread got bumped up the list a bit - don't want it to get lost!

Edith & Mabel, hope that your move went well at the weekend, and that you are back on-line soon. I am starting to panic slightly at the thought of all that we need to get done before we move. Getting pregnant seems almost incidental at the moment   It would really help if I didn't waste quite so much time on the internet!

Tamsin


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## starrysky

Hi everyone

Day 9 of 2WW and I am bleeding, started tonight. Have felt so down since last night and that something was imminent. It could be implantation and I have my fingers firmly crossed that it is but it just feels so much like AF on the way. 

Jo is out and I can't reach her on the phone, so I am just waiting. 

Keep your fingers crossed for me everyone that this is not the end. 

Heather


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## nismat

Oh Heather, sending you big hugs  
It must be terrible experiencing this and not being able to get hold of Jo. 

Keeping my fingers crossed for you that it is just implantation bleeding. How long is your luteal phase normally? 9DPO sounds pretty short to start bleeding, so hopefully it could be a "positive" bleed rather than a negative one.

Sending you lots and lots of sticky vibes - hang on in there Wills & Mary


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## starrysky

Thanks Tamsin for your good wishes.  I am pretty sure it is over, have continued to bleed since last night and it just looks and feels like a normal period.

It is shockingly early, I never expected the 2WW to be cut short in this way. My cycle is usually all over the place but always longer rather than shorter so may be 16 weeks one cycle then ten weeks the next.

I still have a tiny grain of hope but that is all. We are going to call the clinic this afternoon to see what they think, can't face it this morning.

Glad to hear you are doing okay with the clomid. 

Heather


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## bagpuss1

Heather,

I am so sorry to hear that you are bleeding, it could still be implantation bleeding so try and keep your chin up!!! 

I hope you are both okay. Sorry I did not reply earlier to you, I did not go on line last night.

Thinking of you both,

Love Kerry and Helen


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## Jayne

Heather, sorry to hear you're bleeding.  As you say it is early for AF to arrive, and it is possible that it's one of the embies.  That in itself is terribly sad, but I hope that your other embie is still hanging in there.  Hope the clinic can give you some sort of clarity tomorrow.  Will be thinking of you and hanging onto hope for you.   

Love 

Jayne x


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## herbaltea

Heather - really sorry to read your news. Good luck and hopefully the clinic will sort you out. As Jayne says 9 days is quite early. Thinking of you both.

I have my HSG today - really not looking forward to the experience either! I am hoping they will tell me the status of my tubes there and then, most do tell you apparently! Then its Diui planning next tuesday! Whey hey! Back on the rollercoaster we go!!!!!!!!!!

Will update you all tonight,

Sarah


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## starrysky

Hi everyone

It is an example of how I am feeling that I have just looked through all the little emocion faces and pictures and I can't find one that summarises how I am feeling. 

If you are at a point in your ttc that you can't read anything negative please don't read on!!!! I'll try for something more positive at a later point. 

Thanks to you all for your hopes that I have had implantation bleeding rather than AF  

Jo called the clinic yesterday, they asked if it was light bleeding,and said that if we were sure it is AF we should stop the cyclogest. It is not light bleeding but we decided I would take the last two cyclogest and test on saturday anyway just in case, I am 99.9999999999% sure that the test will be negative, due to the amount of bleeding and ebbing away of other things like breast tenderness. I also have that feeling you get to know so well of cyclical changes. 

I am absolutely gutted, and don't know what to do with myself. I always knew it would be the hardest one this time but I think it is worse than I even thought. 

We also don't know what we can do and should do next. We have an appointment with our consultant on 12th July. That's quite nice. It is far away to give us some time. 

Sarah - feels odd not calling you herbaltea - hope that you got good news at your HSG, and that it wasn't too uncomfortable. That was the sorest thing I ever had, miles sores than anything I had with the IVF. Wish you good luck with the IUI. 

Thanks Jayne for your good wishes and thoughts. 

Kerry and Helen - how are you doing? Hope the pregnancy is going well, when is the scan again?

Tamsin and Karen - positive vibes for your clomid cycle   .

I am sure that Jo will post later,   you Jo, Sure something will work out for us one day.

Speak to you all later. Thanks again.

Heather


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## Mable

Oh Heather and Jo - so sorry for you. We both had everything crossed for you. You must feel utterly gutted, I really feel for you. 

It is so hard to think where to go next, after so many negatives. Each one is like a bereavement. After all your IUIs that didn't work out, this must be such a blow. Take some time to grieve the loss, we feel we didn't do this enough and the stress just builds up over time. 

I can almost not bear to go into our first IVF attempt, I feel I cannot manage much more build up of hope and then disappointment. I am seriously investigating adoption, but this is a big decision and not one to take when you are grieving the loss.

All the best to you both,
Mable


----------



## starrysky

Hi Mable

Know what you mean. Even in my grief at the moment I am still glad that we did the IVF, I would always have wondered. 

Adoption has also been on our minds for a long while. Ever since we say that BBC1 series on adoption we have viewed it as a very positive step and something that we were interested in doing whether or not the tx was successful. I am adopted myself so I also have that perspective on it to take into account. 

We have decided just to use the 2 months before our next appt with Dr C just to reflect individually and together on what we want to do next. I agree with you that it is not a decision to be rushed. 

When your IVF comes along we both send you    vibes.

Heather


----------



## herbaltea

Heather and Jo - don't really know what to say, except I'm thinking of you both. 

I had my hsg today - I found the whole experience like something out a sick horror film, with comedy thrown in!! I had to wear a gown with the biggest gash up the back and exhibited by bum to the whole waiting room!! The nurses and radiographer were so lovely though! It was quite uncomfortable, I think I was in shock at my bravery throughout the whole thing!! I am just glad it is all over and had a chinese takeaway to celebrate!  

Both tubes are clear, so one step nearer, but one step at a time! Roll on tuesday when we can get going with those evil injections!


----------



## starrysky

That's great news Sarah about your tubes!

Yes I remember the HSG gown very well. I could just about get my gown all the way round but had to walk through the waiting room with a pair of boots with heels so must have looked ridiculous!!

H


----------



## Jules*Rich

Can't believe I have been away again for so long!

Sarah, great news on your clear tubes - I am glad that I had a lap and not a HSG they sound horrendous - but glad it is all over for you and you have been given the all clear  

Heather - I am sorry AF arrived - you must be totally gutted   I hope you can continue trying, but IVF is so expensive. Could you do the eggshare thing that me and DP are doing? I am not sure if you are 34 or your partner is - but either way eggshare can be an option before the age of 36 which could mean you could do IVF a bit more cheaply. Also, have you thought about Blastocyst transfer, which means that if thee embryos can grow that far, it gives a higher chance of success (50-60%). Sorry, it's such a bummer that it has not worked this time - I hope you are able to carry on trying in some way or another.    

Mable - it is such a shame that we have to go through all these treatments, with all the stress, emotional cost and financial strain - when really what most of us single women and lesbian couples need is access to decent sperm! Seems like such a joke to me sometimes. I am really hesitant about going through IVF too, and can understand where you are coming from. 

Tamsin (oops   on the spelling!) Hope this cycle is going to plan - are you getting more than one ripe follie with the clomid? Where are you up to  - have you had the insem yet? 

I am still struggling with the non-bio thing, and today I am just thinking "GIVE ME SOME SPERM - THATS ALL I NEED!" I am also trying desperately to find a free donor via websites and keep going back to Spermdirect and thinking dare I risk it and would it be a waste of our IVF money? I think we need to keep our IVF money. I am just so desperate to be pregnant now I cannot stand it - it is my one and only priority and I worry that that might mean I do the eggshare thing, but it is the wrong decision - it is all so complicated. 

Helen and Kerry - I hope things are going well for you both.

Hi to everyone else that I have missed,

Jules


----------



## starrysky

Thanks for your ideas Jules. Very mixed feelings at the moment about having further treatment. I keep thinking that if we were offered a free try with free drugs and the clinic negotiated two months off work for both of us I would still not be sure!!!!!! It isn't the process, which was a physical, practical and emotional challenge, but the 2WW and then the disappointment.We had planned that I would have one cycle of IVF then Jo would try IUI for a few tries. Adoption is also in our minds and has been for some time. 

I hope that you can come to a decision that you feel happy about, it is hard, I wish now that we had not had so many IUIs and that would havemade it easier to have had a couple of IVFs. Also that we had gone though the ttc quicker, we started in 2001!!!  But you have to go with what feels right at the time. Having a biologically related child has always felt very important to me (I've always thought that this is because of being adopted myself) so at the moment I am coming to terms with that, also I am going to miss not having the experience of being prgnt which is something that I have always wanted. But I do think as someone said, Tamsin I think, that once that child or children are in your family you'll not be conscious of this. My adoptive mum says that most of the time she forgets I am not her biological child. 

 to you all!

Heather


----------



## Jules*Rich

Heather   Sorry, you must be having such a hard time at the moment. I hope you manage to get your head round everything you have been through and work out what it is you want to do next. It's so hard though, it's so difficult to have a break from it all and come back refreshed, cos if you are anything like me, it's always there in my mind.

I too want more than anything to experience pregnancy, and if DP getting pg was the next step, I would not be ready for that yet, or perhaps ever - I am not sure I could cope with her experiencing everything I want to and her hating every minute! I guess things would be different if it was planned that the other partner would get pregnant too one day, but still hard to let go of your dream.

I hope you both can focus on enjoying each other, and not on ttc for a least a while - maybe a holiday would be a good idea if it is affordable. 

Love, Jules


----------



## crazycat

Hi all,
Sorry I have not posted - I have been feeling very upset    & stressed since Heather started bleeding on Monday & just could not face the idea of posting until now.
I wish there was something positive I could say or do to feel better & to make Heather feel better but of course that is impossible & we just have to deal with the emotional lows, neither of us really know what we are going to do next yet & we were not expecting anything to happen so soon in the 2 weeks, so all a horrid shock.
Anyway - I won't moan on & I have been thinking about all of you as well.  Sending loads of   &   to you all.
Hope to be feeling up to a slightly more positive post soon.
Jo  x
 - William & Mary.


----------



## bagpuss1

Hi Heather and Jo,

I really dont know what to say except that we think about you often and wonder how you are getting on. 

Nothing can prepare you for the stress of the 2ww but somehow you just manage to get through it and prepare yourself for the long hall!!! 

If that time is cut short, it just seems so much of a shock that that in itself takes time to get used to, let alone the fact that the treatment has not worked. 

Just to let you know that we are thinking of you and that we are so sorry that you are going through this, know that you are not alone and we are all here for you to vent your frustrations and upset to us.

Take care of yourselves and love each other,

Kerry and Helen.


----------



## nismat

Heather and Jo, I'm so sorry for all that you are going through; my heart really goes out to you both. It must be so difficult to deal with; not only the failure of this particular cycle, but all of the further implications, especially when you don't know what the treatment options are. I hope that you can find some peace with it all. 

I'm afraid that I've been too busy to post recently, what with a heavy work schedule, lots of visitors and trying to pack up our house/organise the move etc. So ttc has felt almost incidental to everything else that has been going on. However, I went in for my IUI on Saturday morning, as my dominant follie was 18mm at the scan on Friday am. I felt like it was a bit early (only 24hrs after the trigger injection, and only day 14 when normally I don't get a +OPK until day 15), but I suppose that everything changes when you are on Clomid. It was a great sperm sample (99% motility and 10 million sperm), but I'll be absolutely amazed if it works with so much going on at the moment. I rather feel as if maybe we should have skipped this cycle, but we talke about it and decided not to. The good thing is that I've got no time to obsess about it all.

Hi to everyone else (and glad to hear that your HSG was all clear Sarah).
Tamsinx


----------



## crazycat

Hey everyone,
 Thank you for your kind words & thoughts - It is good to know there are people who understand.

Sarah - I'm so pleased your HSG was good news, onward & upward from here, lets hope so.

Tamsin - I think your cycle is just as likely to work whether you are fully concentrating on it or not, keeping everything crossed for you.

Helen & Kerry - How are you going? Good I hope, when will you get 1st scan?

Jules - I can understand what you mean about the idea of wanting to experience a pregnancy, for me I just want a family & I'm not too bothered how I get one & I am just struggling with the multiple loss of possible pregnancy's over the past 4 years.  Idea of a holiday is a good one but because I am starting my new job in 2 weeks we can't really have one.  We are due to go away for a week just after our next clinic appointment (July) so will just have to hang in there until then.

Today I have veered from   to   all day & have felt low & tired.  I have cancelled my plans for this eve to be at home with Heather & was forced to buy chocolate   - Well it was either that or take up cigarettes again!!  Work has been very stressful & this does not seem like the best of times to start a new job, especially one dealing with loss & bereavement but there is not much I can do about timing of it & I really need to get away from my current job asap, it was making me feel lousy before so it is even worse now.

Trying to focus only on grieving just now but really can't help thinking about what we might be able to do next & practicalities of each option & what is/is not an option for us now.  Too many questions but I don't think we are ready yet to hear the answers or to make any decisions, patience is a virtue!!

Anyway, I must learn the art of being concise!!

      to you all
Love Jo


----------



## herbaltea

Hello everyone!

Update on the planning appt we had today!! 

Very strange after not having a period for 2 years, I suddenly have one! Weird! Which means I will have to wait a whole new month to start treatment to get today 1 again! Hey ho! Ain't life strange!

We will be using puregon injections on days 3,5 and 9 with an hcg inj to trigger and also after the trigger. So, all being well, testing date will be around the 11th July! Really excited that its all happening now, but not to excited that there is only a 15% chance of it working each time. They will try us for 4 cycles and then its game over as we can't afford ivf - so fingers crossed!!!!!!!!

Jo and Heather - hope your'e both ok. Try to stay off the **** (I gave up 4 months ago!!) - but chocolate is good  

Tamsin - I'm sure that with all the distractions going on it will help!! I am hoping for the same as I have just started a new hectic job! Good luck 

Right - off to get fish and chips to celebrate - then its diet, healthy eating and folic acid from tomorrow!

Take care all,
Bye for now,
Sarah


----------



## starrysky

and loads of   to you Sarah!!

Tamsin I am really keeping my fingers crossed for you, your IUI seems to have happened really quickly, and looks promising. Hope that   are doing their job. 

Kerry and Helen - thanks for your kind words. 

Jules - hope you are okay?

Mable and Edie - it is getting closer!!! Hope you have success.

Heather


----------



## crazycat

Hi all,
I agree with Heather & am feeling too lazy to write myself.  
Came home from work early today as I am owed some hours & once I got rid of them on my mobile (Honestly - You would think they could do without me for less than 2 hours!!!!!    Apparently not)
Anyhow I have had a little snooze & feel slightly better, have struggled to be in social work mode toady.
Chocolate good - Smoking bad!!!  You are so right Sarah, anyway I gave up 3 months ago & don't much feel I want to go through that again & the patches were bugging me.  Better look out though  
Lots of love &  
Jo


----------



## misty

Hi Jayne,

Unfortunately my pc crashed during my last 2ww which resulted in a BFN!
Now that I've managed to get it remastered, I'm back on track.
Can you please include this result in your updated list.

Big congrats to Kerry and Helen, it really gives us all hope..   

Nismat, how did your treatment go? I remember you were due to start on the day I was testing.Hope all is well with you.

Looking forward to catching up with everyone soon.


Misty


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## nismat

*Misty * - good to have you back, we were all wondering where you were! Sorry to hear that you got a BFN though. What are your plans now?
I got a BFN on my first IUI cycle, and went straight on to my next cycle, this time using Clomid and HCG trigger. I had my IUI last Saturday, so I'm back on a 2ww, and trying not to lift heavy stuff as we pack up our house. I have to be very disciplined!! As Heather said, it all seems to be happening again very quickly, and before I know it I'll be testing again (if my period doesn't arrive early like it did last cycle).

*Sarah * - so glad that you had your planning appointment at last, but how weird that your period finally arrives at the same time! Am I right in thinking that injectibles like Puregon are a stronger form of stimulation than Clomid? I'm having to do the HCG injections after the IUI as well (on days 3 and 6 afterwards). 15% may not sound much for each cycle, but the more cycles you do, the more your cumulative chance of success will increase, so hopefully it should work for you before the 4 cycles are up.

*Heather & Jo * - hope that things are feeling a little better for you now, although it will no doubt take some time to process it all.

Hi to everyone else


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## herbaltea

Nismat - yep, puregon is the actual fsh hormone! When are you testing?

I kept seeing pregnant people everywhere today and thought that could be me in a years time! I just wish I could jump forward a year in time to see whether is happened for us or not! 

Misty, sorry it wasn't a positive - we were all asking after you on here! Are you going to tty again?

If my cycle plans go according to plan, we should be testing around the 12th July for the 1st go!! Eeeek!!!


----------



## nismat

*Herbaltea*, I'm due to test on 28th May (the day after we move!), so I'd better make sure that I pack the pregnancy tests somewhere sensible 

However, I'm completely convinced that this isn't going to work (and I'm not even that bothered about it for some reason), partly down to the timing, and partly due to the house move etc. Also, I feel much less in control of my cycle/being sure of what's going on, as the medication obviously affects it. Last cycle I didn't feel like it had worked, but I did keep getting twinges etc. and thinking maybe..... This time however I feel absolutely *nothing*. I know that you don't have to feel anything to be pregnant and that realistically many of the early signs are pretty hard to distinguish from PMT etc., but somehow I still expect to "know" when I conceive. Stupid and illogical I know, but I can't help it!

If this cycle doesn't work out, I'll be starting my next cycle about a week before you start yours.

*Kerry & Helen* - hope everything is going well with you. Any news to share??

Tamsin


----------



## bagpuss1

Hi everyone,

Just to let you guys know that we had our 6 week scan on monday, and low and behold, there it was, a heartbeat!!!  it finally feels real!! sickness, tiredness and bad sleep etc but other than that, things are going well.

Tamsin- Thanks for the encouragement!!!! Hope you are getting on okay, I am still hoping and have my fingers crossed for you to have a BFP!!! your are my 2ww buddy and have been a wonderfull support, hope the packing is going well and that you are not getting too stressed, apparently, a pint of milk a day helps with implantation so get drinking!!! and pineapple juice is supposed to be good (worked for us).

Misty- welcome back, sorry about your BFN, hope you are okay, good luck for your 2ww.

Sarah- Glad your planning appointment went okay, good luck fingers crossed

Heather and Jo- Thinking of you tons and hope you are both okay.

   to you all,

Love Kerry and Helen.


----------



## Mable

Hi all,
Edith and I are finally on the move with our next attempt. We had our appointment with the nurse at Kings this morning to learn how to do the injections and it's all about to start. Edith wants to do the injections herself (grrrr) and actually injected herself with water, which she is very pleased about. She starts the pill in the middle of June and then injections 21 days later - I shall be sulking in MY new shed (am making curtains for it).

Kerry and Helen - a heart beat! How wonderful. Stay on our site, you are an inspiration for us that it really can happen.

Misty - great to hear from you, good luck to you.

Heather and Jo - we were thinking of you today.

Tamsin - good luck with your move - it's a wonderful distraction!

Hi to Herbaltea and Jules
Mable


----------



## herbaltea

Kerry and Helen - WOW - can't believe its 6 weeks! You must be delighted - really excited and happy for you both!

Mabel and Edith - good news about starting with the ivf. I wish I wanted to do the injections myself! I am scared stiff! I'm sure I'll manage it though with DP watching and laughing! he he he!

Tamsin - really good luck for the 28th Mays testing. I am sure my brain will be competely frazzled when we get to the 2ww - if the drugs work!! Fingers crossed. What with all the other distractions, it could be fantastic news!

My next cycle should start around the 12th June (with help from norethisterone!) Can't wait - trying to keep my body like a temple, but keep craving chocolate! I keep thinking to myself that if we get 4 goes at diui, then it will all be over by Christmas time. I think the next option for us would have to be ivf which we would have to save for. Still - must try to stay positive and take every month at a time. I am hanging on to the thought that 'if its going to happen, it should happen within the 4 months'!!


----------



## Jayne

Cyclers  

2ww - Good luck!   

(Nismat) Tamsin* & Karen - Clomid then DIUI - Testing 28 May 

In between treatment

Edith* & Mabel - DIVF in June

(Starrysky) Healther* & Jo - Considering options

Herbaltea* - DIUI June (awaiting AF)

(Julesforgirls) Jules* - Donor eggs with partners eggs, then DIVF

Misty* - DIUI 

Precious Cargo On Board  

(Bagpuss1) Kerry* & Helen - DIUI - EDD 9 Jan  

Our Miracle is Here 

Please let me have any additions/amendments to the above list 

* = Partner having treatment

Love

Jayne x


----------



## misty

Hi everyone!

I've finally got my pc sorted so just wanted to catch up with you all at last!
Have really missed this site for support and just feeling at home.

Tamsin: How are you feeling on your 2ww? I see your due to test on the      28th!! Wishing you both the very best of luck..
We've decided to abandon natural cycles and go for clomid with Diui.
My cycle starts tomorow with scanning on Friday.How did you find clomid? 
Any side effects?

Mable & Edith: how are you guys doing? Good luck this month with the treatment...

Herbaltea: I think we end up cycle buddies!! Keep me posted.

Kerry & Helen: Hope all is well, keep us posted...


Luv Misty


----------



## nismat

Hi all, 
Well, I'm feeling like I'm in limbo at the moment. I'm not stressed about the 2ww, but that's because I couldn't be more convinced that it hasn't worked! So I feel more like I'm waiting to start the next cycle rather than waiting to test 

I am _sooooo _ fed up of packing. Ugh. It never seems to end (although the pile of boxes is growing, so it must end soon - it has to by Thursday ). How is it that we have accumulated so much stuff? It's not like we are major hoarders - we have regular clearouts and charity give-aways, but we still have far too many belongings. It has actually made me feel a bit guilty at the thought of how little some people have. I'm on a bit of an anti-consumerism kick at the moment anyway, so it has really re-inforced that. We haven't actually exchanged contracts yet, which is a bit worrying as we are due to complete on Friday (but moving into our rented accommodation/stuff into storage on Thursday for ease). Keep your fingers crossed for us everyone!

Misty, I had absolutely no problems with Clomid. I had one quite bad headache, but that was on a fairly stressful day, so it probably wasn't connected. No other side effects at all. As it was my first go on Clomid they put me on 50mg, which will probably be your dosage too. I produced 2 follicles (1 dominant, 1 smaller, but probably big enough to produce an egg). I went for my first scan on day 4 of my cycle I think (normally it would be around day 3, but it was the BH weekend), and then back in for scans on day 11 and day 13. With my clinic you normally go in for a scan on day 10 (but I couldn't do that day), and then go every other day until either your follicles are of the right size to trigger and/or you get a +OPK. On day 13 my follies were at 18mm and 14mm so I did a 10,000iU HCG trigger injection whilst still at the clinic, and went in for the IUI the following day. I had to do 2 further HCG injections of 5,000iU each on days 3 and 6 after the IUI (these are supposed to support early pregnancy, in the same way that progesterone supplements do). The injections were in my tummy, and although I was a little shaky about pushing in the plunger, they really weren't hard to do at all.
Good luck!

How's everyone else doing?


----------



## herbaltea

Hi Misty - I have been on Clomid in the past - even up to doses of 200mg! Only had hot flushes and symptoms were not tooooooo bad.  

I don't know if we will be cycle buddies as my day 1 will be around the 11th June ish. I can't believe we are finally starting treatment! I am up and down all the time as to whether we will be successful in concieving, but I know it will be a case of what will be, will be!!

Can't believe I have just accidentally deleted all my previous message - dah!! 

Nismat - Fingers crossed for the move - I know how stressful it can all be! Also, fingers crossed for testing day!    

Hope everyone else is ok,
Bye for now,
Sarah


----------



## starrysky

Hi everyone

Haven't posted for a while, been getting used to being back at work and coming home feeling like  .

Good luck Sarah - been thinking  thoughts for you. 

Tamsin - fingers crossed for you  . Hope you are finished that packing.

Helen and Kerry - pleased to hear your scan went well.

Edith and Mable - glad to hear practice run at injections went well. You are nearly getting started. I am excited for you!

Misty - good luck with your new cycle.

Heather


----------



## bagpuss1

Hi Tamsin,

Just to wish you good luck with testing I will be thinking of you      . Hope the move has gone okay and that you are not too stressed out.

Hi to Karen.

Love Kerry.


----------



## nismat

A house-moving update from me: we are "half moved"! We were supposed to complete on our sale today so had we decided that for ease we would move out the day before i.e. yesterday, putting most of our belongings into storage, and just taking the bare essentials and a few pieces of furniture to the house we are renting from friends until our new home is a) ours (we're not expecting to complete until mid-end June) and b) the worst of the building work is done.

However, we haven't even exchanged on our sale yet  There's no problem with our transaction, but there's some clause in the lease of our buyer's flat that is holding up his sale. So, as our lives were in boxes around us and we already had the removal company booked (and on Wednesday we still thought we might exchange - hah!) we decided to go ahead with the removal into storage, but to stay put in our own home with the rest of our stuff until we have at least exchanged, even if not completed. Of course, we run the risk that the sale could fall through, but it does seem to be a question of "when" not "if". It all went pretty well, and our home now looks _massive _ with all the furniture gone. If the worst came to the worst, we could always take the opportunity to re-decorate. Now it's just a question of waiting for the phone call saying we've exchanged (probably next week rather than today). At least we get an extra weekend in our home (and a long one at that). We live by a river, and the view/setting is pretty spectacular, so it's no hardship. Also yesterday evening, the swans who inhabit our stretch of the river came to show off their new cygnets for the first time, which we would have missed if we had actually moved out yesterday.

OK, quickly onto pregnancy news (or not). My temps have dropped both of the last couple of mornings, plus I started getting sore boobs last night, so I'm pretty sure my period will arrive today/tomorrow. And (confession time) I gave in and did a test this morning, which was negative of course. No big surprise there. I never expected this cycle to work, but still, you always have a little grain of hope.

Now I just want my period to arrive so that I can book in for my scan/get my Clomid and move on to the next cycle straight away. These Bank Holiday weekends really get in the way of things sometimes!

Enjoy the sunshine today girls, and hope you're all doing nice things for the next few days


----------



## Mable

Hi you guys,
Happy sunny bank holiday weekend to you all. Enjoy your power tools! I am hiring a sander this weekend, which is apparently quite tricky to handle so should make me look gorgeous and masterful!

Tamsin - your move sounds such a complicated pain! What a process ...sounds like you are handling it so positively. Still have fingers crossed for you that you have tested too early.

Heather and Jo - how are you doing? Am amazed that you can be so generous and be excited for us, with all that you have been through.

We are enjoying our new little house and the break it has given us from thinking about TTC. We have friends with toddlers coming to visit at the weekend, it is always nice but quite painful seeing them, especially when they climb into our arms for a cuddle (the kids that is!). It seems to enhance the fact that we have no children and have been trying unsuccessfully, when normally we aren't so aware of it. Otherwise, Edith starts the pill in June, we must order those drugs ... 

Good luck to Sarah and Misty!
Mable


----------



## eddie

Can we joint you?

My partner of 11 years and I have been TTC for 6 month using donor sperm at home. GP has recently given me clomid to try as progesterone levels not wonderful. AF due sunday so it will be all go after that  

It is wonderful to find you all and I am in awe of what some of you are going through to concieve. I thought my life was stressful 

Eddie


----------



## bagpuss1

Hi Eddie,

You are very welcome to our little community. I have to say that I dont think I would have got through the last few months without the support of the girlies on here!!

Good Luck on your ttc journey,

Kerry and Helen


----------



## herbaltea

Hi Eddy - welcome! Glad you found us - it really does help to have the support of others going throught the same things. 

I got my prescription for norethisterone and puregon and hcg injections today - blimey - really can't believe we are about to start DIUI at long last - thats if my ovaries perform with the drugs! Not only a lack of sperm, but pcos as well!! I really must start eating properly - seem slightly addicted to chocolate at the moment!

Nismat - the house move sounds like a nightmare! Wish I lived by a river  - our dogs would love it! You are also very naughty   for testing early!! Fingers crossed for you tomorrow  .

Mable - good luck with your sander! I am supposed to be doing some strimming with our new black and decker thingy - I call myself slasher as I scithe through the nettles!!

What with all this sun - too many flying stinging insects for my liking! 

Have a great weekend all and remember to put the suncream on!


----------



## nismat

Hi all, as I suspected it would, my period has just started 
Oh well, at least my intuition was right all along! Of course I'm a bit disappointed, but not majorly so because I had so little expectation of a BFP this time.

We've decided to go straight on to the next cycle, but after that we will take a break, and I'm also pretty sure that the clinic will want me to have an HSG if it doesn't work on the 3rd go.

I'm too late today to book into the clinic for a scan, so I've got to call first thing tomorrow to try and get an appointment in the emergency clinic, and then we'll see what they want me to do in terms of treatment (e.g. stay on the same level of Clomid or increase it).

*Eddie and DP* welcome to our group - the more the merrier! Are you using a known donor i.e. fresh sperm? I hope that the Clomid does the trick for you. I had no side effects on 50mg, but I'm not on it for any particular reason - just to improve my chances of getting pg more quickly by producing more follicles/eggs 

*Mable & Edith* I'm sure that you will have a lovely time with your friends and their toddlers, even if it is slightly bittersweet. I hope that you can mainly feel the joy and love in those baby cuddles, rather than the sadness of your own experiences so far. Have fun with the sander too 

*Sarah * way to go with all the prescriptions! Are you still expecting to start your cycle around the 4th? We can be part-cycle buddies if so 

Right, I must go out and enjoy some of this sunshine (and yes, I have got my sunscreen on!).

Baby dust to everyone


----------



## herbaltea

Nismat - really sorry to hear af arrived. Still - you seem very positive and as you say - it's the begining of the next cycle. Keep the faith! I am due to be day 1 arround the 13th June, so about 1-2 weeks behind you. The delay is having to go onto norethisterone to restart af as I have pcos. How come you have to have a scan on day 1? I don't have a scan till day 12! 

Enjoy the sun


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## nismat

Sarah: I'm supposed to have a scan at the beginning of each cycle (usually around day3) just to check that everything is looking normal and OK to go ahead) i.e. no cysts etc. After that, I go in for a scan on day 10-11 to check on follicle growth, and then every other day until I'm ready to trigger.


----------



## crazycat

Hello all - Hurray for bank holidays!!!  

Mable & Edith - We are not using any power tools & instead plan picnic, wine & shopping (Not necessarily in that order!)  Be a bit careful with sander - I managed to give myself Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from 1 day of using one of those & have never been quite the same since.  Mask is also essential but may detract from looking gorgeous & masterful!

Tamsin - Sorry to hear your news, best of luck for the next cycle.  

Eddie & partner - Great you have found this, we were very happy to find it too & you will be very welcome.

Sarah - Hope the drugs arrive ok & that they get along well with your ovaries.

Hi to everyone else.

No update on us - Still thinking.  

Love Heather & Jo


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## eddie

Thanks all for the warm welcome. We are using fresh sperm from an unknown donor. Known donors seem impossible to find in our neck of the woods  Insemminating at home which is proving to be interesting to say the least (almost shot myself in the eye last month) 

Due to start the clomid tomorrow but am for some reason scared to death, my cycle is like clock work at the moment (31 days, surge on day 16/17 AF arrives at about 3pm!!) now im worried to death that I will surge so early that my donation wont be in place and I wont be able to tell what my body is doing or I will miss my surge all together!!

Wouldnt life be so much easier if all you had to do was roll over in bed!! Better not let my dp hear me say that


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## eddie

Have I gone blind or has the search engine disapeared??


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## Sue MJ

Hi Eddie

It's currently disabled whilst the move to the new server takes place... details on this link.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,30517.new.html#new

Love,

Sue xxxx


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## nismat

Well, moving straight on to the next cycle has turned out to be wishful thinking  

We went up to the clinic today for my day 3 scan - luckily they were open for a half day even though it's a holiday, so Karen could come with me where normally she would have been at work. Anyway, it was bad news - I've got cysts on both my ovaries   Two cysts on my right ovary of 18mm and 15mm (I ovulated on this side in the past cycle and these were the measurements of the follies on trigger day, so they haven't shrunk at all), plus two cysts on the left ovary which have appeared from god only knows where, as there was nothing showing on the LHS when I was being scanned prior to ovulation. One of those was about 17mm, and the other about 11mm I think. 

Does anyone know if you are more likely to have cysts after taking Clomid/HCG? The fertility nurse and the sonographer both said there was no connection, but I'm not convinced  I know with some form of treatments you have to sit the next cycle out (e.g. with injectibles), but I didn't think this was the case with Clomid. Have I been unlucky with a reaction to Clomid/HCG, or is it "just one of those things" (in the nurse's words)? 

Anyway, all this means that I can't have treatment this month which is a bit of a bummer. The nurse said I could either wait to see if they will go; or take the Pill for 21 days which would definitely make them disappear. I didn't want to go on the Pill, so I'm hoping my body will get rid of them before the next cycle. I'll have to go in on day 3 of my next cycle for another u/s and see where we are then. It's a nuisance because we were planning to take out that cycle as we are flying over to the US for a 5 day break to Las Vegas   and I wasn't sure how/whether the travelling will screw things up. Any thoughts on that? If I have a 27 day cycle again this time we would be away between cd6-11, so hopefully back just in time to start pre-ovulation scanning. 

All this has made me wonder if, given that we aren't having treatment this month anyway, I should fit in a tubal test. The clinic now recommends Hycosy rather than HSG (it's cheaper as well as apparently less invasive), and it is usually carried out between cd8-10. Normally they wouldn't actually suggest doing it until after 3 unsuccessful cycles (and I've only done 2), but I wonder if it's worth getting it done anyway, just to be sure that there aren't any problems. Do you think that I'm just worrying unnecessarily/getting obsessive or is it a sensible thing to do?    
I think that I will at least phone them up in the morning to see if any appointments are available for next Monday (cd10). 

Sorry for such a long post - hope you can all offer me some helpful advice to stop my head spinning!


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## eddie

Nismat

Sending you a hug.  

Clomid does increase the risks of developing cysts unfortunately. My GP asked me if I had any history of cysts before he would let me try it. Your cysts dont sound very large and they can re-absorbe in a month or so as a rule.  Drs dont tend to intervene in anything smaller than 6 cm. I would give your body a month to settle down or consider taking the pill which would give your ovarys a complete rest. I had tubal evaluation via HSG last year and finding out all was well was a huge relief and would give you something positive to think about while those ovarys are having a rest 

Hope this helps a bit x

ed


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## eddie

Thanks sue x


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## nismat

Eddie, I've also had my suspicions about the Clomid causing the cysts confirmed on other boards - I was sure that there had to be a link! Heaven only knows why the fertility nurse said it wasn't connected - the LWC claims that it has the largest DI programme in the UK, so I'm sure that they've seen it before. Having said that, it was the nurse with the reputation for not giving you much in the way of information. But mis-information I'm going to call up this morning and make sure that I speak to someone else. I know it won't change the outcome, but I don't trust her now! They offered me the pill, but I didn't want to take it - I'd rather just wait and see if the cysts shrink naturally. 
I'm also definitely going to inquire about getting an appointment for the hycosy. As you say, I think that it's well worth finding out that there is definitely no tubal blockage. When it costs over £800 a cycle for the IUI, it seems a bit daft not to spend £300 to make sure that the eggs are actually getting through.


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## eddie

Nismat

I have the luxury of being a nurse  which means that although fertility isnt my remit I'm not entirely in the dark (she says holding her first clomid tablet with shaking fingers )

It does annoy me when proffessionals keep information from you, everything that happens to you should be with your informed consent and you should have been made aware of all the risks before you started treatment. 

Though the route we have chosen isnt cheap Im not paying that sort of money and if I ever win the lottery I would love to provide a free service for women like us. (But it has to be more than a tenner )

Good luck x


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## nismat

I quite agree about setting up a reasonably-priced service for lesbians wanting to ttc - I'm not sure I'd go as far as saying it should be free though!


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## herbaltea

How apt that you are talking about treatment costs! Just back from chemist (day off today horrah!) and I was told the puregon and hcg injections would cost over £400. I was shaking as I went back to the car to tell DP - who was not impressed in least! Apparently they will have to order it in and I should get it by the end of the week or begining of next week. I seem to have been prescribed the largest dose of puregon (vial of 900iu) - I thought they started you off with small doses - erupting ovaries here we come! At that price I certainly don't want to overstim and have to abandon. Moan moan moan    At least our treatment is self limiting as we are starting with 4 cycles. I wasn't quite anticipating it costing quite as much though - looks like we will be doing one month on, one month off or something. Either that of I shall get a loan!

Nismat - sorry to hear about oyur cysts - don't know about the Clomid part though so am useless to advise! WOW - Las vegas!!


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## nismat

Just checking in quickly before I go off-line for a few days (staying away from home for work). Not quite sure how I will cope with my surgical separation from the internet and all my message boards.... 

I spoke to a different nurse at the clinic earlier and she confirmed that the cysts are the result of Clomid. I am pretty cross that the other nurse said that there was no connection. I also think that I should have been told that it was a possible side effect. I'm seriously considering trying a natural cycle again next time around, as I only produced 1 sizeable follicle on Clomid - exactly the same as my body does naturally! So it didn't increase my odds at all (which was why I agreed to take it), but it has meant that I've got to skip a cycle which I wasn't planning to do yet). Grr 
Oh well, it's not all bad. In some ways it's quite good not to have to fit in all the scan appointments etc. and to try and re-organise work accordingly. Plus, we've still got the stress of the house move going on (in that it _isn't _ going on at the moment- we're in limbo, still waiting to exchange). Also, if I were to get pregnant next cycle, I would have a due date at the beginning of April, and I would _love _ to have a Spring baby, as it's my favourite time of year.

See you all in a few days,
Tamsin


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## crazycat

Hey everyone,

Tamsin - Heather also developed cysts on both ovaries, we never really discussed it with clinic but had assumed the Clomid might have caused them at least to a point, I have my suspicion that she was vulnerable to them anyhow & the drugs made it happen at that time rather than another.  Still, like you - we took a risk to try & increase our chances.  Try not to worry too much about your break - If you have all these other things going on then it may have just come at the best time.

Sarah - Sorry to hear you were   at the drugs prices, they are very dear aren't they?  The dose you have been suggested sounds similar to what Heather had, also because she was considered to be possible risk of OHSS, she had loads of scans from about day 6 so they could have adjusted the dose if needed.

Eddie - When we were still doing IUI & unsure about when Heather was going to ovulate on Clomid, we used to do 2 ovu detection kits per day   from about day 9.  It was a bit of a faff, especially eve one as poor Heather had to hold on for 4 hours with no wee!!  Also quite expensive but we felt we were less likely to miss it & thought it was worth it.  You can get bumper packs of kits on the internet a bit cheaper, Boots also sometimes used to do 3 for 2 on them.

Mable & Edie - Hope the DIY went well.

As for me - I left work yesterday!  Starting new job on Mon so hurray for holidays!   Had a bit of a stressful one so am thinking of driving over to Brighton (How very gay of me!) for a mooch & some retail therapy.  After I start my new job I am hoping to be able to think more about the future for me & Heather having a family - Will keep you all posted!  Still struggling with our loss at present, I can't believe how hard it has hit me.  

Speak soon.
Jo


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## eddie

Jo

Thanks for the advice I have a box of 50 ov test kits bought over the internet so I shall take your advice and put a serious dent in them this month and then with a bit of luck I can give the damn things away 

Day 2 of clomid and Im feeling fine (have no idea what I'm imagining might happen )

Am hopeing our donor will be available on the right days though, that is the bit thats worrying me most at the momment.

Jo sorry to read your news am sending you an on line hug and some positive thoughts......... dont think about if you will have a baby just keep thinking of when xxxxxxxx


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## herbaltea

Jo - that comment about driving over the Brighton made me laugh!!   Hope the new jobs goes ok - at least you have the week off! Are you a nurse? Sorry - can't remember!

Eddie - glad the clomid is not making you feel bad. I was fine on it except the odd hot flush! 

I am on norethisterone now - so should be day 1 of my cycle about next friday! Hoorah! Getting really nervous about injecting now - both in terms of needles and over stimming. Also looked at our clinics success rates and its 8% for diui, but not sure it thats for superovulation also?! Just wish I could see into the future - don't we all hey! Getting rather dispondant about it working now as we can't afford more than 4 goes and DP has said no to IVF! Please let it work in 4 cycles!  Sorry for moaning! 

Hope everyone else is ok,

Bye for now,
Sarah


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## alex28

Sarah
my clinic do not have stats for super ovulation and DIUI as they dont have enough evidence but the consultant says she reckons about 20% chance and a 35% chance of twins!!!
Start jabbing tomorrow!

FYI - i did not get my period until a week after stopping my last tablet so dont worry if this happens to you too - i called my nurse and she said oh you will get yuour period this weekedn but it arrived on the monday which was fine.

Good luck honey.

Eddie - i have brought a 50 box of HPT's to use as having HCG i want to test so i know the drug is out of my system and therefore  the result is correct.  Are we all mad or what.  I have spent a fortune on bloody OPK's but lovely Marielou on the other thread sent me her spares ones.  Hopefully in a month i will have 40 hpt's to give away!!


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## eddie

Alex

I love that 50 hpts you will be peeing all day


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## Mable

Hi all,

Nismat - sorry to hear about cysts and rubbish nurse giving you the wrong info. I can't be of any help I'm afraid, all I know is that Edith must take the pill before tx to avoid getting cysts.

Jo - hope you got gorgeous weather in Brighton. Good luck with your new job ...

The thought of getting carpal tunnel and having to wear a mask put me right off the bank holiday DIY, so I started in the garden instead. Have begun to build a wall, but ran into trouble (didn't really consult the manual), so decided to horse manure the beds which now stinks and has gone all over the house. Oh well ..

I am an Ofsted widow, Edith is preparing for an inspection in 2 weeks time.

Hi and welcome to Eddie! Do you know your donor?

Sarah - don't know if you've bought your drugs yet but Serono seem the cheapest to us. Highstreet and hospital chemists seem more expensive. I know the 8% success rate is very disheartening, but it could be you! Why has DP said 'no' to IVF? - it has roughly 25% chance of success which is much better odds.

Who knows ......
Mable


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## herbaltea

Alex - thanks for the info re 20% chance. I did read on one website that the chances were about 60% over 6 months. Thats quite good odds to me! Good luck with the injections tomorrow   I'm sure you will be fine. What clinic are you with? Just wondered as you live quite close to me from memory. 

Mable - my dp is a computer widow! he he! As for IVF, she just feels that spending over £2k is not justified! One step at a time and lets hope I don't have to go down that route! It is just such a shame when it all has to come down to money. Hey ho!

I went shopping today and got a really healthy supply of food - fruit, veg etc! I am going to treat my body as a temple and give it every possible chance of working! Having said that - I have just eaten 3 choccy biscuits!!  

Take care all,
bye for now
Sarah


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## misty

Hi Nismat!

So sorry tohear about your cysts. As You know, I am also with LWC and was not informed of this possible complication either!
I sounds like they normally reabsorb once you give the clomid a break.
Hopefully this will be the case for you...
Have you decided to try another natural cycle?


DP and I have done 2 natural cycles and have now started a 3rd using clomid 50mgs and scanning.I had my 1st scan on day 3 and took the tabs for 5 days.
Only side effect was hot flushes all the time,cant sleep with it, have been awake since 4am...hence I'm here!!
Today's day 10 and we go for our 2nd scan.I have to say I'm excited about follie size and number etc but a little worried about developing cysts.
Started OP's 2 days ago as the nurse advised to start testing on day 8.
This seems very early as I normally have a 30 day cycle and.Anyway,wish us luck for today that all will be ok...
Hoping to fly to London within the next week.

Eddie, welcome onboard!!

Misty xx


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## crazycat

Morning!

Misty - Good luck for the scan today.  

Sarah - I am not a nurse, social worker (Yikes!).  Sadly I also had to work on Tues, somewhat ruined my week off but that was all the hols I had to take. Hey ho.  Talking of odds: If someone said you had a 20% chance of winning the Lottery I think most people would think that was a good shot, fingers x for you.

Mable -   sorry, didn't mean to put you off DIY, the wall sounds like fun though!  It is a shame you are an offstead widow, think instead of the lovely summer hols coming up for Edith.

I did not get good weather in Brighton: I had a great imagine of sitting on the beach with my lunch, not a chance - it was too busy raining.  Had a nice time though & got a few clothes & CDs.
Today I am going to watch videos all day & am not moving from sofa, I'm even thinking of ordering a pizza for lunch!  Lazy girl  

Love Jo


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## alex28

Sarah
injections went fine - i practised last night with just the needle and it was fine thr worst bit is getting all the mix out of the bottle!

I am at Bristol but live on the Devon/Somerset borders and work in Taunton so Bristol is only about an hour away sonot too bad.  Back in on monday for blood test to see how im getting on and then 1st scan and bloods again on Friday.

Lets hope your period arrives soon and you will soon be basting too!


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## herbaltea

Alex - good luck for your bloods and scans next week! At least the injections are going ok. I am due to be day one about next weekend! I have to ring the clinic on day 1 and they will give me details about injections doses/days to inject etc. What do I do if day one is saturday?! I won't get the schedule in time! Help!

Misty - how was the scan?

Jo - thanks for your optimistic comments re: winning the lottery  - hadn't really thought of it like that! Just was on a downer as even mother dearest said 'do you really think its all worth the expense and bother' - I nearly exploded at that comment! Calmer now! Social worker eh! 

Hope everyone is ok

Bye for now,
sarah


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## alex28

Sarah i dont think it will make a huge amount of difference as the injections are to stim you and therefore if you start 1 day late i dont think that will matter.  I would check with the nurse though if your period does not arrive by say the Friday give them a call to ask what to do.  xx


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## misty

Good morning from sleepless in Ireland!!

Went for day 10 scan on thursday and had cycle abandoned by clinic today following report. Nurse says lining of uterus is too thin to continue, so she suggested we progress to a different stimm, perganon?? sorry not sure of spelling. Also said I didn't respond well to clomid as it can cause thinning of lining of uterus. I did have a dominant follie of 17mm plus 2 others of 12 and 15.
My right ovary produced no follies at all!!
Has anyone else experienced this? Does anyone know anything about the other mentioned stimm drug?

DP and I are very disappointed and I feel somehow inadequate.
Have to wait for AF in about 2wks before we start another cycle.
This time it will be injections on alternate days.

Would really appreciate any advice at this stage as we seem to be progressing very quickly to more invasive treatment etc. Hopefully this next cycle will go ahead....

Luv and luck to all

Misty


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## herbaltea

Hi Misty- sorry your cycle had to be abandoned, but at least  you can progress again in 2 wks. 

I think the injection you will be on is puregon- I am due to start these injections when af arrives on days 3, 5 & 9. I don't know much about puregon (except it is expensive and i think there is about a 1 in 5 chance of a multiple birth if you conceive), but there is a lot of info on the web. Clomid didn't work for me at all and it has taken over 6 months to get started again! 

We can be cycle buddies on injections! I don't know how many clomid cycles you've had (I had 3 failures), but injections are usually the next step. Also - please don't feel inadequate, I know its frustrating, but not long to wait to try again!

I've just noticed the time of your post - you really were sleepless! I had a lie in till 8 today which is really unusual for me - normally a real early bird!

Hope you're having a lie in, bye for now, sarah


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## misty

HI Sarah,

Thanks for your response and supportive words.
Did'nt have a lie in this am as I was on duty at 8am but didn't feel tired at all.
I have had 2 natural cycles with no scans and this was my 1st using clomid.
Would love to be cycle buddies! Are you starting puregon also?
2 fortune tellers told me years ago that I would have a multiple birth !!
At the time I wasn't even out or accepting of my sexuality and wondered how this could happen....
Its only recently that I've started to remember this.
sounds wonderful so lets hope for twins instead.....just trying to be optomistic.

Keep me posted and hopefully we can be cycle buddies.
Thanks again for your support.


Luv Misty


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## Jayne

New home this way

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,30960.new.html#new


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