# surrogacy USA I am about to go to US for surrogacy has any one done this?



## jayne c (May 7, 2009)

I have had 6 IVF & 6 miscarriages we have had to explore surrogacy as this seems to be the only way we are likely to have a the baby we long for. there seem to be lots of immigration problems can anyone help?
Jayne  xx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

why not ask Natalie the FF lawyer for her expertise as she is so helpful, wishing you lots of luck
L x


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## apricot (Apr 21, 2008)

Hi Jayne - first I am so sorry for your losses it sounds as though you have had a really tough time and I pray that surrogacy will bring you that little person to complete your family.   I have not been to US in fact I am only just starting my own journey, but I know a couple who did through mutual friends. They went to Florida and although it took about two weeks after the birth they bought the baby back in easily on a US passport and are now getting the baby its own passport. You can also apply for a UK passport in the US but they didnt want to wait. The one thing that is confusing is I think that even if you have a UK passport technically you still need a Parental Order in the UK, as technically you would not be the mother under Uk law even though you would be under US law. But as the baby is to be a UK citizen you need to comply with UK law too. Although if you come in with a UK passport how anyone will prove it I am not sure. Consequently it is also better to have an unmarried surrogate so that your hubbie is automatically considered the father rather than her husband.

A few weeks back when I was just looking at my options I attended a seminar by a US agency in London which was great and really informative. They deal with a lot of international and gay couples so were very clued up. They were very knowledgeable about the law of each individual country they deal with including Sweden, Netherlands and Israel. As with everything in the US they are not cheap but I think they are thorough. I asked the question about needing a Parental Order and they said you did need one but it is more important for their gay couples as it would be hard to prove a hetro couple had used a surrogate. Another thing you may want to do is go on 'Surromumsonline' it is a US website where surromums and IPs chat and they are very informative about reputable agencies and scams, from there you can get a good feel as to who is safe. They also have a bit about the law in each state as some are surro friendly and some not - also in some you can get a pre birth order, so both your names are on the birth certificate as soon as the baby is born, but the insurance can then be a nightmare. So it really is worth talking to an agency even if just for information.

Hope this helps a bit - if I can help any more please feel free to PM me. It does sound terrifying but works for some, they had a gay couple at the seminar and their US surrogate and everything had worked out perfectly!  

All the luck in the world with whatever you choose.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Hi Jayne

I'm always happy to help.

To get you started, you might find it useful to read the legal info on going abroad for surrogacy on our website at http://www.gambleandghevaert.com/page/intsurr/38/. If you would like advice on your particular situation, do get in touch.

Best of luck
Natalie
[email protected]


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## apricot (Apr 21, 2008)

Hi Jayne

I have PM'd you  xxxxxx


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## missmarple (Jul 23, 2009)

Hi apricot

Would you mind if I asked you which agency you looked at? I'm an IP (new here!) and we're thinking of going to the US. I find the timescale here in the UK very frustrating as it could take us years to find a surro (and we're already old!!).  We've been in contact with a man in the US who seems great but what's troubling me is he says we need to go over there a minimum of five times over the course of the surrogacy. I sort of thought in the age of Skype I might get away with two or three! Is that usual?


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## Val123 (Jan 24, 2009)

missmarple said:


> I find the timescale here in the UK very frustrating as it could take us years to find a surro (and we're already old!!).


Miss Marple - don't give up on the UK yet. I know it can take oodles of time to find a match through SUK or COTs but there are lots of wonderful independent surrogates in the UK and a thriving surrogacy support community. My husband and I are both in our 40s. We only started looking into surrogacy 14 months ago - May 2008.

I joined every single surrogacy support board i could find, UK and US based. You will find lots of UK ladies on the US sites too as they usually have an international or UK Forum. All I did was start a diary thread on all of the support forums, telling our 15 year story of infertility, what we had been through etc. and how surrogacy was now our final hope of having a baby. It was indescribable the amount of wonderful supportive messages I received from people all over the world and really made DH and I feel that we were not alone. Ultimately, I made close friendships with a lot of the surros and IPs from the boards and we all now keep in touch on msn, chatting almost every day. It was through one of those friendships that we found our first match. A lovely lady who lived near us and suggested that we meet up for a coffee. After that first meeting, the seed was sown and I think we both thought that, just perhaps, we could take things further. A few months down the line, she offered to be our surrogate. Unfortunately, things didn't work out and she fell pregnant to her own partner over Xmas and New Year, and we were back to square one. But again, a fantastic girl I had been chatting to and become friends with through a US site (though uncannily she too lived only 45 minutes from me, which is why we started chatting in the first place lol) she felt so bad for us for what had happened, that she offered to step in and be our surrogate. I am happy to say, that after two cycles, we are now pregnant getting our BFP on Monday 27th July. It's just a thought - before going to all the hassle, expense and uncertainty of going abroad, it might be worth becoming a member of all the support sites - you just never know what might happen.

Good luck to you no matter what route you choose to go.

Val x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Val that is wonderful news congratulations

Maybe you could make a list of all the sites you have found

L x


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## Val123 (Jan 24, 2009)

I'm not sure if it is allowed to put links to other sites, but I will do a little list and if it's a problem no doubt the moderator(s) will remove it.  Here goes:-

surromomsonline
surrofinder.com
surrogatefinder.com
All About Surrogacy
OPTS (Organisation of Parents Through Surrogacy)
Surrogatemother.com (my favourite - so many lovely people)
Real Friends Through Surrogacy (small intimate UK friendship forum for surros and IPs)
Surrogacy UK - message board
COTS - message board
TS Support
there are countless Surrogacy groups on ******** too which are always worth a look

I have found that if you post regularly on some of these sites people will become interested in your story then start chatting by e-mail or PM.  I know a lot of independent surrogates (i.e. not signed to SUK or COTs) who actively search all the forums when they are looking for IPs to help so it really helps to have your own journal/diary setting out your whole story which can touch their hearts and possibly lead to them offering to help - or at the very least becoming a good supportive friend).

Good luck with everything.

Val x


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## missmarple (Jul 23, 2009)

Thank you Val for all that information - it is truly useful. We are going to have a free consultation with the US Surrogate agency that impressed me the most and in the meantime we will get our profile onto the sites you mentioned. 

I am so pleased to hear your news, what a wonderful motivation for us too!


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## missmarple (Jul 23, 2009)

Jayne C - any news on your journey? Nat Gamble is indeed the right person to ask - she has opened a law firm in Poole.


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