# Bio chemical pregnancies your story



## Tiffanymi (Jan 18, 2013)

Looking for stories on bio chemical pregnancies. I was just told today I had this.


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## Bubbles12 (Aug 29, 2012)

Hi Tiff,

Firstly i am so sorry to hear your news. Sending you a big hug. xxx

As you can see from my signiture, i had 2 losses last year but it was my 2nd loss that was a bio-chemical pregnancy.

So, let me start by saying that from the moment my cycle started i was poorly. I was poorly with chronic headaches, toothaches, colds you name it!

I tested early at 8dp6dt (just like my 1st) the line was sooooo faint that at first, me and OH said it was a BFN. it was until i looked again around 4 mins later that i could just make out a line, so i sent the pic to all of my family and it was agreed to wait until my 1st wee the next morning. 4am the next morning there i was with an even fainter line and confused. So i decided that the best thing to do was to get a digital test, that way i would have a 'Yes or no' answer. It was with this that i got my BFP! It did take a few minutes longer but a positive all the same.
No, because i had a loss only 5 months before, i was very anxious of soemthing bad happening again but me and OH agreed that 'this time was going to be different' still, it didnt stop me from doing lots of tests. All, were taking there time coming up with 'pregnant' or a line. If a line did come up, it was never a dark as i wanted it to be, it was getting darker, but just not dark enough. I could not get this niggling thought of a 'Chemical pregnancy' out of my head. So i booked in for a scan to make sure all was in the right place, then i could 'enjoy' my pregnancy. I did 1 last test around 5 days before mt scan, this came back a little lighter than the previous. Any concerns i raised with friends and family were brushed off with 'a line is a line'. I still had my pregnancy symptoms, feeling tired and sore boobs. But never once had i felt bloated which was another thing that concerned me.

So, Scan day. I was 6w1d and was very nervous. As she started scanning me, i knew within 20 seconds that soemthing was wrong. She asked me my dates and had i had any bleeding.  i instantly asked 'where is it?' she replied, 'i dont know'. I had to put a pillow under my bum but my womb was empty. My lining, however, was very thick which proved i hadnt bled. I didnt even cry at this point, even though i knew it was over....again!

We went straight to A & E where the nurse did a urine test. Again, the line was so faint that at first she said it was negitive until we looked closer. She then sent me to EPU. The consultant refused to scan me again as he said the ladt that scanned me at the private scan clinic worked for him and he trusted her judgement. They took bloods. I told mt fella that my HCG level could not be much more over 150 due to the sensitivity of the tests. 4 hours later, the nurse walked in with a sorryful smile and shaking her head. She said sorry, my level was only 157 and not a viable pregnancy. I sobbed my heart out as my heart broke for the 2nd time in 6 months....
She told me to test again in 1 week, if still positive, come back in. This was on the saturday. I started bleeding on the weds but my clinic was 'unhappy' with me just doing a HPT, they wanted me to keep getting my bloods checked until they were at 0. I did this for 4 weeks. My levels barely dropped, even raised at some point. Each time i walked past the maternity unit my heart sank but jumped everytime the nurse spoke for the results, wishing that they had tripled... but they didnt. Then my clinic just dropped me like a ton of bricks once the consultant said i wasnt accepted again for another cycle.... they never contacted me again. So i never went back to EPU to get bloods checked. It was too hard.

So, after, life was too bleak. My relationship crumbling and no strength in me to fight. I honestly didnt care if i died right there. Even thought about driving my car into a tree, but didnt have the guts. My body had failed me, or i had failed my baby....either way, it hurt.
I decided to seek help and started counselling. Did around 5 sessions but unsure on whether it helped. Me and OH are slowly getting through it, each day at a time. The 'Physical' side of things has taken a knocking and i cant seem to get my mojo back. As for my body.... that has not recovered yet. I had AF's in Oct, Nov and 1 in dec which lasted 4 weeks and not bled since. Im on constant knicker watch and i really want my body to be right for my next cycle.
When people say, 'a line is a line' or if there is a line it means you are pregnant, really isnt the case. I guess chemically, yes. but not realistically.

Im sorry for the long winded story. This is the 2nd time i had written this as i lost my internet connection the 1st time and had to write it out all over again.

I hope i have helped you in some way.

Im here if you need to chat

take care

xxx


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## Tiffanymi (Jan 18, 2013)

Thanks so much for responding. I had a failed IVF on my first attempt and now the bio chemical pregnancy. Going to the doctor tomorrow to see what went wrong. I am at the stage that I don't know if this will ever work. Already my egg quality is very low. Sorry to hear you have gone through such a hard time. It must be o difficult.   I am wondering where my next step is...and if this will happen again. It's weird that you actually feel deeply depressed. Plus I can feel something happening inside as I am sore...is a bio pregnancy closer or further away from me getting pregnant?


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## Bubbles12 (Aug 29, 2012)

I would say its closer hun, a chemical pregnancy means that at some point, u were pregnant. Yes, it wasnt for long but it was long enough for it to release HCG (pregnancy hormone) into ur system. So although it didnt work, ur getting there. Sooooo many women have chemical pregnancies without even knowing, they may just think its a late period or something. Mine however was very drawn out as I was 'pregnant' for 2.5 weeks before I bled.

I know how depressed u must feel. And how disheartened u feel. I also know how 'lost' u must feel and unsure on where to go next.. I am at that point now.
but, look at the positive, something DID happen and it does work so get ur hope back and as soon as ur ready, get back on it.
if there is no hope, what else is there?

Xxx


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## Tiffanymi (Jan 18, 2013)

Thanks Hope I agree. I went to my doctor today and he said my levels were def too low. They just need to monitor down to 0 to see it's not etopic. I have decided today to be gratefu that I managed to implant where some people never get to this stage and tha I am going to feel hopeful...third time lucky. Skipping a natural period and then end of may will do this again. Its just sometimes you think...what if I don't even get to transfer eggs - each ime you feel like you start from scratch. I feel I am getting older and wish I started IVF alot earlier. Everyone around me can have kids so easily. Athough I would never wish them bad, even some real nutty people are able to have at the drop of a hat. It feels so lonely and sometimes a future without kids seems a reality. But I di want to be positive. My doctor says as soon as your mind starts stressing about the next IVF this blocks you mentally from having one so it's so important not to let this become life encompassing...even though it's easier said than done. After reading your story again, i need you to also know there is hope with everything...repairing relationships, getting stronger physically and mentally. Can I ask you...why did your clinic not accept you back?


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## Bubbles12 (Aug 29, 2012)

How high are your levels? how high were they when you realised you were having a chemical?

Its very hard to feel hopeful when you have been through what you are going through, it simply takes time.. I hate that Cleche... (i think thats spelt right....or not) but it is true. 
I have 2 ladies that are pregnant in my office, one who announced it not long after my 2nd M/C and 1 that announced it just a week ago and truth be told, it doesnt get any easier... i still get that gut wrenching feeling in my belly. I feel so sad about it, its selfish but i cant help thinking, 'why her and not me?' or 'i wish it could happen to me so easily'. I think tried to talk to my sister about it but she brushed it off and changed the subject as if it isnt important anymore... well it is to me... it hurts me everytime somebody gets pregnant and i dont think that feeling will ever go away until i have my baby in my arms.
I often think about how realistic me being childless is and i cant bear it... we are all on this planet to reproduce.... if i cant, then why am i here? i see these threads of 'moving on, being child free' no disrespect but i would rather be dead than have to go on that thread.

But like you, i am trying to be positive. Its very hard as i have responded well to treatment both times and got a BFP but its never lasted... so now im starting to think its something wrong with me holding my pregnancy... I truelly hope they were a bad case of bad luck. But i am going to take every drug available to make sure i stay pregnant next time.

Of course you can ask... the reason why they wouldnt accept me back (or so they say) is because i had 2 M/C's they felt that egg sharing wasnt fair on me, i could have self funded there anytime i wanted but we dont have the funds for that. She said that i needed to maximise my chances of getting pregnant and by doing that i needed to keep all my eggs... To be honest, i think that was a load of bull... it boiled down to my recipient not getting pregnant.... thats what it always boils down to on egg share...but the clinic treated me really badly (i thought)... they were a fantastic clinic, statisically but they had no people skills....

Will you be doing IVF again hun? some clinics like you to have 2-3 natural periods before trying again to let you body rest...
I have all the forms ready to be filled in for our next treatment... we have been (or i have been) very confused on which clinic was best to go for.... the more local and cheaper one with not so high success rates or the more further, a little more expensive and higher success rates....

sorry for waffling xxxx


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥ (Apr 10, 2008)

I had 2 chem pg and 1 at 6 wks. I saw it as a positive thing. This happens in natural pg but you would never know. We always blamed the sperm    and used donor sperm in the end - see signature. But then went on to have a baby naturally   


Good luck hun.


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## Foggy dog (Mar 21, 2013)

Hi , know chemical pregnancy is horrid . I have had 4 failed cycles of ICSI , 1 miscarriage at 7 weeks even got to see a heart beat on the first cycle then nothing until my last cycle and the a chemical positive , I felt really messed around as it was near christmass so there was a possibility of going to EPAU . Which wasn't worth while as my beta was 46 at this point , it had gone up to higher . It's really demoralising as it feels like failure but its actually part if all pregnancies but most women never know . So it's not bad news.  I am now being told that its not worth having another cycle. Which is hard but will be ok .  I hope your successful xxx


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## Bubbles12 (Aug 29, 2012)

Foggy,

Whats the reason why they have told u its not worth another cycle?

xx


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## Foggy dog (Mar 21, 2013)

No particular reason just we have had alit if cycles , thinking they presume it should have happened by now , was thinking of another go but it's hard to know when to stop , a bit off topic I know for this thread .


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥ (Apr 10, 2008)

Unless he's got a reason for you to stop then surely he's gas no right to say that. Has he looked into texting for things? We had 2 chem pg,  1 mc, 1 no fertilisation then finally on our 5th go we got our boy.


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## Bubbles12 (Aug 29, 2012)

I obviously do not know the ins and outs of ur treatment but surely its a bit premature for him to say this...
I know ladies that have had numerous M/C's, chemicals,BFN's and then gone on to have a healthy baby. 

Unless there is another reason why he would say this, it really wouldnt rule out another cycle..


Tiff, how r u today? 
Xx


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## Tiffanymi (Jan 18, 2013)

Hi hope84. Feeling okay today. I think I have my very bad days but trying to focus on the positives. I know TMI but I have been getting daily direeah. Is this normal? My doc says if it isn't etopicthat I can so this again end may which I def will. I'm glad you are going to another clinic. You want to be with doctors who believe in your ability to conceive and I don't think the other clinic treated you well. Especially due to the circumstances. The choice is up to you. Sometimes is may be better to save up for longer but go to a better pace to higher your chances. I agree with the baby thing, I have 2 baby showers coming up and must admit I am dreading it. You really feel so alone in these situations and no one understands. I also have told some of my close people about IVF but not everyone because I feel people start putting more pressure on you. I am glad to hear a story on this thread that someone eventually fell pregnant. I am going o hang onto that for now. Think I need to plan a quick get away in between my treatments. Your life becomes so consumed with IVF that you can't go on holiday, have a drink, have coffee, excerfise, etc etc...it eventually takes your quality of life away...besides the expense worries of always needing to pay for the next one. Our medical aid doesnt pay or any so it's very hard. Good luck with your choice of doctor I hope it is the right fit for you and someone who treats you well. Sometimes I feel like we are at a meat market and you are just in a line up like you are a number to them...


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## Bubbles12 (Aug 29, 2012)

Hi Tiff,

Glad you are feeling better about things, you are 1 tough cookie..

As for the 'upset tummy' yes, I think that is normal, I have heard from lots of ladies that have this whilst going through a Miscarriage. I did on my 1st... It would make my Miscarriage 10 times more painful cos of the cramping, then I would go and It would relieve the pain a little (TMI).

Yep, filling out the forms with OH today and im actually quite nervous, to the point where I have been putting it off all week. But as its snowing outside me and OH have decided on a 'Duvet day' so I cant put it off any longer..

I know what you mean about telling people about treatment and how it takes over your life. Luckily, my sister knows what its like to have IVF as she had 4 negative cycles then went onto have triplets with her 5th attempt, I have 1 or 2 other (I wouldn't say friends) but people I know who have had IVF.... My 1st cycle, I told everyone I was having IVF... so they all knew I was pregnant... and so they all knew when I lost the baby...so the 2nd, I only told a select few... but when I lost the 2nd, I had 8 weeks off work so people at work had a pretty good idea that I suffered another loss. But, my loneliest point was after each M/C... never felt so lonely.. I felt like the only woman in the world who felt the way I did.. people would say 'lots of women go through a miscarriage' or 'your not the only one' well, I didn't care about anyone else, I didn't care about any other woman... all I cared about was my baby... but like I said before, I handled my losses really badly so im not to sure if it was normal to feel the things that I felt...
Its coming up to the 1st year anniversary in less that 2 weeks and im dreading it!

As for holidays hun, sometime you have to take some time out for a holiday... me and OH are off to Mexico in May. We had such a bad year that we NEEDED a holiday to wind down and find 'us' again... the 'us' without fertility.... I bet it doesn't end up like that though...
Oh well, at least I will get a tan...lol!

So are you going to the same clinic? Where are you from by the way? 

xx


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## Tiffanymi (Jan 18, 2013)

Thanks for the message. I'm sorry to hear it will be a rough time for you coming up to your one year. Hope you have alot of strength during this time...I know it can't be easy. I'm going to the same clinic. I was thinking of leaving but I think my doctor knows my body a little more now, I would like to give it another chance. Although, sometimes you just feel like a number. If it doesn't work again I may decide to go to another. I am from south Africa and you?


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## Bubbles12 (Aug 29, 2012)

Its been the worst year but having said that, I am through the other side now... Will never be the same as I was but im deffo on the mend.

Im in the UK.... We cant decide on the best Clinic... Just when I think I have found one... I see another that I like.... 

I have had to pay a fee to my old clinic so they can release my medical notes to me so it can help the other clinic with my next treatment... I really want to have intralipids, clexane and aspirin with my next treatment so im having to shop around for that too which is expensive..

x


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## Tiffanymi (Jan 18, 2013)

I was on clexane since ET...what is intralipids excuse my ignorance.


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## Bubbles12 (Aug 29, 2012)

Its not ignorance... I didn't know about them until a friend who got pregnant with the help of them told me about them..

they are a soy based oil treatment that is given through a drip starting around a week before EC. Normally you have them just before EC, Just after ET, at 4 weeks and 8 Weeks. Although I have read that ladies have this drip right up until 26 - 30 weeks. It dramatically increases pregnancy success rates while reducing the risk of miscarriage.

xxx


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## Tiffanymi (Jan 18, 2013)

Sounds interesting. I hope these will all work fir you! I must admit today I am feeling quite low. I think everything has just hit me fully. I am so tired of thinking about IVF, tablets, injections, hope, despair...I think waiting fir the next one is even harder than the 2ww because there is nothing in progress. I already had more than the double dosage of normal IVF patients and my eggs are really poor quality...to such an extent they put as many eggs in at a time...even 3. I've never had FET as I never have excess. I feel I should have started earlier and worry I will never have kids or be such an old mom. Either way I guess just feeling a little low and frustrated at the moment. I'm hot enjoying my job and its high stress but I have been putting off leaving as going to IVF is hard at a new company, and what if ou get pregnant etc...while I was in this cycle, I was going through the most stssful period at work, and even though I couldn't have helped it, I wonder if that caused the chemical. Sorry to offload...just one of those days.


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## Tiffanymi (Jan 18, 2013)

I also wanted to ask you...should. Expect a painful and heavy period?


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## Bubbles12 (Aug 29, 2012)

Tiff,

Im sorry you are having a bad day... to be honest... it will be very 'up and down' I found I would be ok for a few days, then BANG... I have a low day and it would knock me for 6.... but believe when I say, eventually, these low days will get fewer and fewer....

Please don't look at why... On my 1st, I went back to work 3 days after ET and was working all through my 2WW... I got pregnant and lasted to 9.5 wks... On my 2nd, I had the whole of my treatment off... from start to finish and went back after I got my BFP.... And that was a chemical so I wouldn't go by work or stress...it really wasn't anything to do with stress/work. You could be thinking for weeks, years even, as to why this has happened and you wills till never know... so I really wouldn't even entertain the thought... You wanted that baby more than anything... do you really want to punish yourself even more by thinking it was your fault...

As for your periods... Mine are really messed up from my chemical. I had a period around 3 weeks after I got my BFP. Yes, it was a little heavy, and I think it was a little more painful than usual but everyone is different. I had a period in October and in November. Then I had a period in December that lasted a month... and I haven't had one since! so I am getting slightly concerned.... plus im getting spots on my chin, ive never been a spotty person but these are huge. And they are scarring me. I have been told that spots on the chin are to do with hormones.

Ive now just weighed myself and im a stone and a half overweight for my new treatment... so ive gotta lose weight and quickly :-(

Keep your chin up, im here if you need me xxx


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## Faithope (Jan 16, 2011)

CP are awful, here's my diary of how things went for my two  http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=269822.0 It may help with 'what may happen'

I am very sorry for everyone's losses


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## Tiffanymi (Jan 18, 2013)

Thanks for your message. I am feeling a little better but it was a bad day for me...sometimes the emptiness just hits you from nowhere!! Work tomorrow will actually keep my mind off things which is a good thing. Thanks for your words and support. Good luck for loosing the weight. It can't be easy with all thes hormones messing around with our hormonal balance. Let me know how it goes.


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## Tiffanymi (Jan 18, 2013)

Hi all. I'm quite worried as my chemical pregnancy was diagnosed on the 12 march and my levels are still going up not down!! He said I am definitely not having a baby but what does this mean? Worried topic etc...does any one know. I have also got awfully I'll. Migraines, can't see out my one eye, flu, I'll...pls help


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥ (Apr 10, 2008)

I would speak to your clinic hun.


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## Bubbles12 (Aug 29, 2012)

Tiff,

How much have they gone up by?

My level went up by around 20.. then it plato'd for 2 weeks... Its is normal for the level to plato then it will take a sudden drop... When my went higher, they wasnt concerned by like i said, mine was only by around 20...

If it still increases, it may mean that there is a pregnancy somewhere... not a viable pregnancy but they will need to locate where it is.

Let me know how you get on

xxx


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## Tiffanymi (Jan 18, 2013)

Thanks so much. It went up to 150 but thank goodness has halved now. They are just monitoring it....just need some Time out to rest my mind from all this IVF stuff...it can really drive you crazy.


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## Bubbles12 (Aug 29, 2012)

Glad its halved now....

IVF is a head do'er....


Wait until everything has settled down and review things then. Most clinics wont let you do another cycle for at least 3 months so that will give you a chance to sort your head out a little.

xx


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