# First egg-share appt. - what can i expect?



## loopy12 (Aug 3, 2004)

Hi!
I have my first egg-share appointment/assessment at Bourn Hall in 3 weeks time.  What can I expect to happen?  They said they'd be doing a pelvic and there'd be lots of forms to fill, but anymore info from anyone would be appreciated as I'm getting a bit nervous...


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## mandao (May 20, 2005)

Hi Loopy,

I am officially testing tomorrow following my first egg share. Expect lots of forms and lots of talking! I am over in Manchester and we had our bloods taken, an appt with the egg-coordinator and the councillor all on the same day, so it was a little hectic for us. The bloods are to test for all the usual std's, hiv etc and DP will need those taken too as you are egg sharing. (We initially were going to try DIUI so DH bloods weren't needed but changed to DIVF an egg-sharing so then they were). 

The meeting with the egg-cordinator involved her taking characteristics from me, asking about family medical histories and explaining the whole ivf/egg-sharing process.

Then came the councilling which was not half as daunting as we expected it to be. I envisaged a whole host of questions trying to determine my suitability as a donor, but it was far from the case. The questions were more directed to the implications of someone else having a baby genetically "mine" and the possibility of that "knock on the Door" in 18/19 yrs time. It really was more about making sure you are fully aware of your situation.

Of course (as you may be in the same situation) it was slightly more complicated for us as we were egg-sharing and using donor sperm - the councillor hadn't been aware of the donor sperm issue until part way through the session! It lasted approx 1 hr and was thoroughly painless, you can request more sessions if you have issues you wish to discuss but more are not mandatory. It was also during councilling that we were given the green forms to complete. These are also mandatory and include your physical characteristics, hobbies, work, interests etc. There is a section for you to complete about your life experiences, beliefs and/or anything you wish to share and there is also space for you to write a goodwill message to any potential children born from your donation. 

I found the goodwill message very easy to write but agonised over the "me" section, I kept thinking what would I like to know if I was a donor child, I also bore in mind that if I was in that position I might only want to know a little about the donor but not actually meet them - so what is important? Also remember, the recipients have access to the form to help them tell their children/choose a donor.

Very best wishes for your future and I hope all goes well.

Amanda xx

p.s. I say officially test tomorrow as a bought a test today and got BFP - I only hope my recipient was as lucky!


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## loopy12 (Aug 3, 2004)

OMG!  Congratulations on the BFP!! 

Thanks for the help.
We've already filled in characteristics forms, medical history etc so I don;t know what else they'll want to add to it.  I didn't do the about me section as I was in a hurry to return the form and figure I can get it back when we go for the appointment to finish off - just didn't know what to say about myself!
I'm not clear if we've actually been accepted for egg-share or not - or whether the decision will be made after the appointment.  They've had all the blood tests etc for hormone profile etc, but I have long irregular cycles so wonder it they might want to investigate it further before deciding whether we can egg-share (I have been tested for PCOS which came back clear, so who knows what the cause is).

Did you have to wait 3 months between HIV tests before starting treatment?
Did they weigh and measure you?
Did they do a pelvic (and if so what were they looking for)?
How long before they matched you with a recipient?

Sorry for all the questions...

We're not using donor sperm, but will probably need ICSI as DH has low morphology and count.

How do you feel about the risk of someone turning up on your doorstep in 18/19 years?  
I think, in a way, I'd be relieved that it had worked for the other person.  At least there's no guilt associated with it as there would be if it was a child you'd given up for adoption.

I didn't realise the recipient gets to read to bumph you write about yourself - presumed it was just filed away by the HFEA and that the recipient just got a copy of your characteristics.  Careful thought required for that then 

So happy for you that it worked!
What made you switch from dIUI to IVF with donor sperm?  Just curious...
Congratulations again...
Very excited for you 
Lauren.


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## mandao (May 20, 2005)

Hi Lauren, 

When we went for our appts they just asked us the questions about height and weight which I responded, but they never measured me, I suppose they could tell by looking I wasn't lying! Don't remember having a pelvic, just an internal scan (or is that what you meant)  and the day 2-5 blood test to check levels done via GP. 

I was matched very quickly (but I don't have any extremes, eg brown hair/eyes, average height and weight) and started my cycle at the first opportunity. Everything seemed to go quite quickly once the initail bloods came back clear. The egg co-ordinator told me that at any one time there are approx 60 recipients waiting for egg donors (I found this really heart rendering knowing how few donors there are).

To be perfectly honest we changed our minds about about treatments as when we first had tx for DS it was at an NHS hospital but part privately funded (we had to cover drug costs - they paid for scans). Egg share was not something that was ever mentioned and I presume looking back wasn't an option as they were the NHS. When we started this time we carried on down the iui route as it was what we knew, thinking that if ivf was out of our pay reach then it would be more so now. However after our initial consultation I was reading the hospital literature and noticed the egg share scheme on offer. For us it meant having to pay roughly the same amount as iui but I had previously been told there are higher success rates with ivf than iui so figured I was increasing my chances and helping someone else.

This is also why I have told DH once (fingers x'd) we have our new family member settled and some kind of normalcy has returned I want to do at least one altruistic egg donation. I understand there are fewer egg donors than sperm donors (obviously we have to go through more than men - typical!) But I found that I really did not mind any of the process, from scans, jabs or the EC. Having benefitted from a sperm donor I know how much donors are needed and it is such a worthwhile thing to do - I can't imagine not being able to have had DS or the opportunity to try again (greedy but I don't care  !)

Good luck to you and DP,
Best wishes, Amanda xx


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## fluffyhelen9999 (May 13, 2005)

Hi Amanda,

sorry to butt in!  just wanted to say huge congratulations on your BFP!  hope it's official now!  
I got a BFP from my first egg share in 2003,  Hope to start the whole process again very soon!!!!

Helen xx


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