# Job Interviews after IVF related sickness



## MissMayhem (Feb 24, 2013)

Hi am after some work related advice. Face losing my job so having to apply for new ones. Trouble is I've been off work sick for many months as coping with everything just got too much. I'm bound to be asked about sickness level so wondering what I say! Am worried if I say it was because of IVF they'll think it's going to be a problem again in future and I won't have a hope in hell!


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## Turia (Feb 2, 2013)

Sorry you find yourself in this position.  My understanding is that legally an employer can no longer ask about sickness records, health or disability on an application form or in interview, and you certainly don't have to provide the information.  It actually been the case for a few years now as I remember having to alter our application form to remove the question.

An employer is allowed to ask if any adaptations need to be made to enable you to attend an interview and also ask within an equal opportunity monitoring form but this relates to disability, not health leave.  I'm unsure however if they can ask your current employer within a reference form so it may be worth phoning the ACAS helpline just to check.

Unfortunately just because they shouldn't ask will not prevent some employers from doing so.  I would certainly not go into details, you could just say that you simply had to take some time out because of a particularly traumatic time of your life and that it was a response to circumstances rather than being an ongoing health issue.  You don't need to say what caused the circumstances.

And be reassured that you won't be lying.  You have no idea how you will cope in the future if you do treatment again.  Having IVF does not automatically equate to being unable to cope and needing time off.  Next time you might struggle again, or you might not so don't give them the idea that it is a guaranteed response!  And they certainly don't need to know whether or not you will be having treatment again.

Remember also that time off work whilst PUPO is classed as pregnancy related and should not be included within sick leave.  I've posted somewhere before about the legal aspects of this if you need details.

I should add I am not a lawyer but I am the manager of an organisation and responsible for recruitment along with everything else!

(Just another thought, remember to say that having that time out gave you the opportunity to learn more about handling situations etc etc - turn it into a positive even if you don't think it yourself!)

Good luck!
Turia x


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi,

I would talk to the citizens advice bureau first, as they will be able to give you a definite answer on the sickness disclosure.  

Personally I would never mention IVF, because let's be honest, what employer would knowingly take on someone who could possibly take time off for fertility treatment or be on maternity leave?  I know they shouldn't be like that, but they are.

Have you thought about temping?  You can be so much more flexible?

X


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## MissMayhem (Feb 24, 2013)

Thanks both so much for your responses, appreciate it.   Turia that's really good to know, thank you!  I knew about the PUPO stuff but not the other info you mentioned.  

Have a meeting soon with our HR department, if I apply for any other jobs within the organisation they will obviously be fully aware of my predicament so I think it's highly likely that I will be going elsewhere.  Another thing to try us eh! But thank you so much for your advice, really helpful. xx


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## MissMayhem (Feb 24, 2013)

Hi *turia*, hope you're well. Am back to pick your brain again. You mentioned focussing on a positive slant on having had time off; any specifics? Am racking my brain and, apart from noticing my own cues and recognising I needed time out earlier (thus only needing a very short break), I'm at a loss!! xx


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## LuluLimon (Jan 17, 2014)

Hi there- just to add my thoughts as I've had a couple of long spells of depression and time off. I always stress that the instances are situational and not ongoing and it has taught me better when to ask for assistance in team environment and not struggle along alone e.g. access employee assistance programme, have more regular mtgs with your manager... I wouldn't make a big deal about it- employers in my field are more interested in your capability of doing the job. I wouldn't say it was ivf related- just acute stress to a particular life event. In general I am usually only asked by a HR person and have never had any trouble getting a new job. If you have had CBT etc you could state that you are much more self aware/ more resilient etc


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## Turia (Feb 2, 2013)

Hi Miss Mayhem
Sorry, just seen your post!

I would echo what LuluLimon has said.  No one needs to know it was ivf related, so simply state that that something traumatic/sad (insert whatever adjective your prefer) happened in your personal life.  You can say that whatever happened was a response to that event and therefore you do not anticipate it happening again.  If they really, really push at a reason, simply say it was a close bereavement.  

Depending on the type of job that you are going for you could add that it makes you more empathetic to the needs of others or better able to handle stress because you understand how you respond and - as you said - are more aware of the warning signs, which in turn enable you to take steps earlier to prevent a build up or manage it (e.g. diet or exercise or relaxation therapies etc.)  Don't mention needing a short break in the future as it is open to interpretation.  If you do need time off again, lets deal with that if and when it happens.  

These are the positive slants that I was thinking about earlier so you are on the right track.  The only other thing I can think of is to say that having time off made you realise how much you value work and the work place, having colleagues etc. (it's okay to bend the truth a little bit!).

As an employer, the main thing I would want to know is that it was probably a one-off event (I don't need to know why) and that you have learnt from the experience and that you are keen to get back to work (and not just for the money).

The thing to remember is that IVF/infertility is such a dominating presence in our minds - it colours everything we do or think or feel - so it is natural to think that your absence is a big thing too as it was linked with the IVF.  However in truth, if you are at the interview stage, sick leave will only be a tiny factor in their minds.  They are more interested in your experience, your answers and whether you will fit with the current team/dept. etc.  In truth, if I had my way interview questions would consist of do you like music on whilst working, are you good at washing your own cup and do you like a hot office or need the window open as 9/10 that's the sort of stuff that makes an office a happy one! (and a happy office is easier to manage  )  

Feel free to pm me if you want to discuss specifics that you would rather not post for everyone to read!

Good luck
Turia x


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