# Feeling blue…



## bluebells (Apr 3, 2006)

Hi

I think it is partly the time of year and partly that we are coming up to Christmas (our second since we were approved to adopt and 11th since we started trying for a family  ) and we still won't be parents. It's so difficult to stay positive sometimes. I'm feeling really down in the dumps and don't know where else to turn except FF.

We are waiting for our 2nd CRB checks to go through (because our others expired) and because we were a bit slow off the mark this time – not knowing if we wanted to carry on with adoption – we have delayed things a bit through our own actions. Am I right in saying that we will not be given details of children to look at until these checks are through?

Really wish things would move a bit faster. I'm like a time bomb waiting to explode and over the last few weeks have been hoping I will feel ok each day, but I am on the verge of tears most of the time.

Bluebells xx


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## mollyk (May 18, 2003)

Hi Bluebells,

Just wanted to send you a huge  . I can remember feeling the same before DD came along. Christmas is so hard when you don't have children but so desperaterly want them.
Your time really will come ( most of the time when you least expect it).

What plans do you have for xmas? will you be around children?

As for your CRB'S I am sure if SS had a possible match and your CRB'S were pending they would send you out the details.  

Hang in there.

Your dreams will come true.
x


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## Camly (Dec 12, 2006)

hiya blue  

im so sorry you are feeling down at the moment.  i can only imagine how u feel, i know you and ur dh have been thru so much and been disappointed numerous times.  we had a similar experience and know how we felt after that.  i just want to say keep ur chin up, i know its hard, but the right child/ren are out there for you - they just havent found you yet.  be kind to yourself.  could you not go away for a few days over christmas?  just you and your dh.  i wish i could do or say more to help you and to make you smile.  

lots of love camly x x x x x x x x x


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## Ermey (Aug 17, 2004)

So sorry you feel so down Bluebells  
The waiting is so hard isn't it? Some days I feel like banging my head agaisnt a wall and sobbing and I haven't even been waiting a year yet!    The approach of Christmas is such a tough time...and new year..I am feeling it too, and your 2nd one since you were approved must be even harder...its painful to see events that were a long way off come and go with still nothing changed. And to have to redo your CRBs must really rub it in. 

I hope you find the strength and faith to hang on in there; if you can just ride the storm I'm sure it will all be worth it.


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## emsina (May 23, 2005)

Hiya bbs!  They'd be a very callous agency to stop pursuing links for you because your CRBs are pending.  I've just had one for a charity turn around in a record 3 weeks  
So terribly sorry you're feeling so    I'll send you a pm when I can.  
emsina x


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## bluebells (Apr 3, 2006)

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for your replies, I am feeling a lot better for reading them and better in general this week, although still a bit fed up and not relishing the thought of Christmas.

I'm not sure what we are doing for Christmas this year. My sister has a little boy who's nearly 5 and we might see them. DH's sister has a boy of nearly 2, but they always do their own thing on Christmas Day. Most friends children are older.

We've booked to go away for a couple of nights to the Brugge Christmas markets, so that will be nice and something to look forward to.

I know that our SW is not going to show us children's details this time unless it is not a competitive match and the child/ren's SW is pretty sure we would be a good match. Of course we will still have to have the interview/home visit, but at least it will mean we will not look at lots of children and should have more head-space when we do have to make decisions. This will probably mean that we wait longer too.

I emailed our SW to chase up on CRBs and of course she couldn't really tell when they would be through. At least it shows we are keen to make some progress though. 

Going to the gym tonight as that really helped the other day with releasing the old endorphins.

Thanks again for everyone's thoughtful comments and advice. Next time I can feel myself getting blue I will re-read them.

love bluebells xxx


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## Camly (Dec 12, 2006)

hiya blue

glad ur feeling bit better. it just takes time doesnt it?  if only there was a magic pill we could take to make our hurt heal quicker.  i believe your a very strong person and you and your lovely dh will get thru this.  

take care of urselves.


lots of love camly x x x x x


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## Dee Jay (Jan 10, 2005)

hi bluebells,
glad to hear that you are feeling a bit more positive. Can you chase the CRB's? I asked SS for the reference number for our CRB's and chased them up online and by telephone too. It certainly helped me to be more in control and informed about what the situation was. 
I know that you've waited for a long time - but the best things are always worth waiting for hun xxx
Sending you a huge  
lol
Dxxx


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## bluebells (Apr 3, 2006)

Thanks for that advice Dee Jay. I will ask our SW about that. 

Bluebells xxxx


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Hi, I also got our CRB reference numbers from my sw and chased to get them through (we were also crb'd twice due to length of time waiting). See http://www.crb.homeoffice.gov.uk/services/online_tracking_service.aspx It helps if you can see what is happening online I found.  to you

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## bluebells (Apr 3, 2006)

Thanks Mummyof2, that's really helpful. Now all I need to do is get the reference number 

love Bluebells xxxxxx


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

You're welcome


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## Camly (Dec 12, 2006)

hiya blue

just wondered how you are doing?  x x x


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## bluebells (Apr 3, 2006)

Hi Camly,

I'm feeling much better this week, thanks for asking 

I think the fact that the decision made last week was ours has helped, plus we didn't have too long to get smitten with this little one.

Both myself and DH are really busy with work too.

How are you? Ok I hope.

Lots of love Bluebells xxxxxx


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## Camly (Dec 12, 2006)

hi blue

thats good ur feeling bit better. it does take time. keep busy.

im good thanks.

take care of urself x x


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