# Feeling like a failure everytime you have a period?



## Laurajh (Nov 20, 2015)

Hi all I been told I have very low amh level and been refuse ivf because the chances of it working is so low. I still have cycles and feel so down when I do really thinking about having my womb out so all the pain will go if I can't have kids why should I have this reminder every 5 or so weeks. What do you girls think am I just not thinking right and need to take a step back? Xx


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## MrsGorilla (Dec 12, 2013)

Hi Laura,

I'm sorry you are feeling so low at the moment. Like you, I have low AMH and every month having my period just felt like having salt rubbed in a wound. 

When did you find out about your low AMH? If it was recently, then take lots of time before making any decisions about a hysterectomy. Although you might not be ready to investigate other avenues open to you yet, there are options fir you. I was told by my Dr that donor egg would be my only option in the same breath as being told my amh was low and at first I just couldn't accept it. The thought seemed alien and almost like being told you have infertility issues all over again. It took me a year to accept and move forward but now couldn't be happier.

It doesn't help that Christmas is pretty much here and all you see everywhere is families and joy and happiness, and I always find Christmas one if the most difficult times of year to cope with.

Give yourself lots of time, make it through Christmas, then next year take steps to see what options you have. Speak to a counsellor, speak to your OH, speak to the ladies here, your way forward will become clear and this time next year you could be in a very different place.

Good luck to you Laura, be kind to yourself, give yourself time


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## Miss Sunshine22 (Mar 12, 2013)

Hi Laura 

So sorry you're feeling like this   It's an awful blow to find that out and you will definitely need time to process it  We have all been there, that feeling of failure is horrible, and at the time, I know for me, it felt horrific, almost like I could see no future ahead   

Before deciding on anything, could you seek a second opinion? You don't mention what age you are, or what your FSH is, but many ladies with low amh do go on to have children, especially if you're around 40 yrs or younger (although some older ladies been successful too with low amh). Mild IVF or natural cycle IVF could be appropriate for you? 

If this isn't for you, I would definitely take time out to process things before deciding on next steps. You're grieving at the moment, which is natural, and so I would suggest that you're not in a position to be thinking of your future and your options yet. As Mrs. Gorilla says, next year when you've had time to process things, you could be in a different place so you don't want to do anything that could jeopardise future options.


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## MandyPandy (May 10, 2010)

I was told when I was 36 that my AMH was too low to bother with my own eggs and to go ahead with donor eggs.  It absolutely devastated me.  I went away and thought about it and I refused to listen to the doctor (as I was a private patient and I hadn't even given things a chance) and cycled with my own eggs anyway.

On my first cycle I got 3 eggs - all of them fertilised (and one is still in the freezer as a hatching blast).
On my second cycle I got 11 eggs
On my third cycle I got 9 eggs (one of which is still in the freezer as a blast)
On my fourth cycle I got 12 eggs

The doctors do not always get it right and I would definitely get a second and even third opinion.  At 38 I got pregnant naturally with an AMH of less than 2 and at the age of 40 (I have no idea what my AMH is as I haven't had it tested recently but I suspect it's very, very low) I am pregnant naturally for a second time.


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## magicpillow (Feb 8, 2015)

Yes don't make any rash decisions but I can completely understand the devastation you feel. We have male factor infertility and I remember thinking that if OH's Tese didn't succeed, I didn't want that monthly reminder every month until menopause that my body is getting ready for a baby that will never come!

Regarding the amh, I had a low one too and was turned down for nhs ivf. However, I've since had two more which have been higher and I'm now double what I was 16 months ago.  I'm now having nhs funded icsi!!


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## Laurajh (Nov 20, 2015)

Thank you all for taking the time to reply back am new to this site so not sure how to add my age etc hope this message get to you all as not sure if this is how you replay to everyone :-S.  so background information am 27 and been ttc for just over two years I have had one miscarriage but since then nothing. I haven't been ovulating for 18 months but still have enough eastogen to build a lining and lost it every month. When I went to see my consultant he explained that the miscarriage was a one off and my egg count is so low he very much doubt I'll have another shot at it. This why they said no to ivf. Am being sent for fsh bloods again to see if my levels are OK so they can build a case up for me to see if I might be given ivf he was very honest and said if they do fund ivf for me is still going to be a uphill struggling to get healthy and enough eggs etc but he wanting to try and help us enough as he can. I just don't want have to go though ivf after ivf and still not have a baby I don't no if am Strong enough xx


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## Froggy82 (Nov 8, 2012)

Hi Laurajh,

I'm sorry for what's happening to you and for the grief you are suffering. 

On the Internet, on this website and in life you will hear so many different stories of successes and failures to conceive with low AMH. Every case is different. It never hurts to get a second medical opinion, maybe from a big clinic specialised in low AMH. Treatment-wise, they may also be better at finding the right protocol for you.

In our case, after learning about my low AMH and after the total failure of our IVF with my eggs (I was 30 by the way), we didn't have the courage or the money to keep trying with my eggs with probabilities so low anyway. We went straight to DE and were lucky to get pregnant after the first transfer. I do not regret our choice for a single second. We have a beautiful healthy daughter that turned one last week, and could not have had a baby we love more. 

I hope your path will soon lead you to the baby you are longing for xxx


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