# Worst thing said to you during TTC journey?



## deedee_spark

In the interest of keeping our sanity, and based on another thread, I think it would be great to start a thread where we put the worst things ever said to us on our TTC journey! This is sort of meant to be a little bit light hearted stress relief, but it you need to rant - go for it!
Appologies if this has already been done (I'm new). Kindly direct me to that thread and I will add my two humdingers.

***So far** most insensitive comment to me was: *

'You've got Aspergers and you're nearly 40.' This was after being diagnosed with Hashimoto's and was my father's lovely reaction to my fertility struggles and my engagement (don't know how he found out we were TTC as it is not something I would have willingly shared). I was 37 at the time. And no, I haven't spoken/seen him since (I was so angry it impacted 2 TTC cycles, and we moved our wedding to USA). 
*
Second most insensitive comment was: 
*
'Maybe it's best that you're not ovulating, with all this going on.' My mum, bless her, said this to me when my sister's MIL died, and I was on my first course of clomid. It was very sad my sister's MIL died, but her death was not unexpected. In my mothers defence, she said this to me when I was raising concern that I hadn't ovulated yet and it was now day 15. I usually ovulate day 13/14. I think it was her way of making me feel better.


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## jdm4tth3ws

A friend after my last mc "that'll be cos youre too old" said donor embryo "its your body saying youre too old."
doctors wont send me for tests because , you guessed it "youre too old!" 
41 and a half. maybe i am but i dont need it ramming down my throat every verse end! 
sorry if not appropriate but im trying to concieve ........ still
jade


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## Molly99

Big, humongous   to you both x

Almost too many to count for this one   but I think that my female Dr was the worst...

'Some women just aren't meant to be mothers.  I'm not going to approve getting your fertility tested because you should be happy just being a step mum'

Ah, the NHS, you have to love them


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## Guest

that's how I feel reading what some of these idiots have said to you lovely ladies!   I'm not adding any stories today, just sending virtual   To you! The age (and infertility) ones are really infuriating to me!! Xxxx


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## kerryh

My worst conversation ever was with my mother:
Mum: I've seen a really nice high chair that would go really well in your kitchen. I nearly bought it. 
Me: I've just had two miscarriages. 
Mum: Yeah that's why I didn't buy it. I thought to myself what would you actually put in it. 

and another from her just this week 'it's good that you go on lots of holidays, its something for you to do, as you won't have a family' 

ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Ladies we deserve medals!!


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## deedee_spark

Amazing stories! I thought it was just me who was surrounded by the thoughtless. Sadly not. 

xx


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## niccad

Kerry - I just spat some of my tea out in shock. What was/is she thinking??


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## kerryh

It's hard to know what goes on in her head to be honest niccad. Half the time I think she's trying to be understanding and the other half I think she's just mad!  

I try to see the funny side


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## carrie lou

Such awful comments... Molly your doctor is the worst!  


Here are my contributions.


Overheard my mum, who knew we were about to start fertility tx, telling her friend that our cat was our "baby substitute"   Well if things were fair, we wouldn't need a substitute, would we?!


My (former) best friend on my telling her we needed donor sperm: "Why don't you just have it off with the postman? Or better yet, you can borrow my DH for the weekend?"


Same friend after having her second baby (both conceived virtually without trying) took great delight in telling me her plans for contraception because "all DH has to do is look at me to get pregnant"


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## Dramaqueen88

Oh Carrie your best friends comment is the worst!  I hate when people make the comment about not even trying and getting pregnant!


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## carrie lou

I know   Worst thing is, she knew I'd recently suffered a miscarriage and was in early stages of pregnancy with this one and very anxious about it. I expected a bit more sensitivity, actually haven't spoken to her since as I don't know what to say to her anymore.


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## Dramaqueen88

Isn't it awful! It seems that the people who know most about the journey say the worst things!?


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## Flips

It always amazes me, the things that are posted on these threads. People are awful.

When I miscarried after my first IVF my mum said to me 'at least you know you can get pregnant now'.

When I told my sister that we wouldn't be telling anyone if we had more treatment she said 'speaking as someone who has children, please have more treatment'.

I'm sure I could think of more, as both of our families have been bloody awful through this whole process, which is why we're not telling them anything any more.


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## carrie lou

I've had that - "at least you know you can get pregnant". Yes that's a big consolation, just a shame my baby died   and it's not as if we can just try again next month! Maybe in hindsight you can appreciate that that is a positive, but when you are grieving it's really not helpful


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## hometownunicorn

Hey! 
OMG, what is wrong with these people!  

I am new here but so far i've had a couple that have really played on my mind and they were from family as well! 

My younger sister sat with her newborn daughter, looking at her 2 year old daughter - 'oh sometimes I worry that i've left it too late' - Whilst I was sat right next to her!!!!!! WTF!  

The first thing my MIL said to me after we confided in her that we were struggling to conceive was 'You drink too much alcohol'  

Anyhoo!  You just have to laugh I guess  
xx


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## smallbutmighty

Me: "I'm going for IVF soon, bit nervous but hopefully they'll sort us out."

'Friend': "Some women in my PCT had IVF; it worked first time for all of them. If it doesn't work first time it probably won't work for you. You can always adopt if you really want a baby anyway. To be honest, sometimes with my baby, I find it really hard and I just wish I didn't have her."

Me: "Can I have yours then?"


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## Londonkitty

Other: congratulations
Me: um....thanks (I'd been offered a new job but nobody was meant to know about it)
Other: you're looking really well with it. When are you due?
Me: (penny drops) oh I'm not pregnant (and well up) 
Other: oh no-I'm so sorry. I'm normally really careful with these things and don't say anything until I'm sure but I'd heard it was common knowledge.....

So, great-the entire office have decided I'm upduffed. 

Not worn the dress I was wearing that day since!


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## Jam&amp;Cream

Ex-friend; so how many iui's have you done, 3? Do you not think you should just stop? I mean, it's obviously not going to work. Will dp not let you get another cat? 

Me;   I had no words.


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## Sunny12

My MIL when I was having hot flush after yet another bfn: "the fertility drugs have probably brought on the menopause..."


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## Mrs Rock

Oh my goodness kerryh, that highchair comment took my breath away.  Well done and I mean it, for not lamping her.  Not that condone violence in any way.  Usually.


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## KEH

While I'm absolutely shocked at the insensitivity (and barefaced cheek/smugness/cruelty) of some of these comments, I'm slightly reassured I'm not the only one who has "friends" happy to add their ha' penny. 

Last weekend a friend, knowing we're struggling to conceive and starting treatment said: 

"Well, for most women infertility is all in their heads. I mean, women get so paranoid they can't have a baby, they have to relax and then it happens... I've seen it all the time. It really is all mental"

My reaction: 

"Eh?"


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## scribbles

It's not infertility related but I was chatting to my relative about my downs screening appointment that was pending. DH and I decided we would have it done as we had ICSI but had decided that regardless of the results, this baby was staying with us. 
My family had different ideas however. I got comments such as:
You would have to give your life up 
There's no way you would find the support you needed
We couldn't help you at all, we wouldn't be able to cope
You have four frozen embryos, you could try again with them

It was unbelievable, they already have grandchildren who they completely dote over but the thought of having a Downs grandchild was incomprehensible. My child might not be physically and mentally perfect, but she's perfect to me and I'm not about to murder my child in pursuit of perfection. We don't have the results back yet but if it comes back positive it changes nothing. I'm certainly not being forced to choose between my family and my child!!


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## deedee_spark

Scribbles, those comments by your relative are so selfish! I can't believe they made it about them, i.e: 'We couldn't help you at all, we wouldn't be able to cope.' 

Best of luck with the baby and the rest of your pregnancy, and I am with you, there is absolutely no way I could get rid of a downs child in the pursuit of perfection. 

Have a good weekend people.


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## gaia71

Hmmm too many to mention...

But, here's a couple....
"at least you've not got cancer/have your health etc (making me feel guilty doesn't help!)"
"be grateful for what you do have"
"babies cost money you know"
"you're too old to be thinking about this".... I could go on. 
My all time favourite (in an attempt to put me off)... "you'll embarrass the child at the school gates" (given that I'm over 40).... happy days eh?

Feeling really despondent today due to the insensitivities of other people, coupled by my own guilt that I do still have a lot going for me outside TTC. I can't see this changing for the next 2 years (when I can afford to try again - I'm currently single). I'm scared I'm going to enter up bitter and angry and it scares me   . Does this get any easier? Feel really alone at the moment and I've run out of things to say to people without sounding like a broken record


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## carrie lou

Gaia     It's so hard isn't it.


My mum said to me when we were struggling to conceive baby number two: "At least Zac (our eldest) doesn't have leukaemia"     I actually had to leave the room.


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## Cranky Angie

Kerry  the high chair one is a classic I am still giggling, it really is SO outrageous (and so like something my own mother would say).
Molly, cant believe the GP said that to you.  That's awful.

Here are a couple of mine.

One of my best friends.  "Why don't you just get drunk.  I was ****** out of my head when I conceived both my children."
My mum.  "You'll kill yourself with all this IVF".  And "It's all such a waste of money."
Consultant at Clinic after mmc "You're 45 now Angela, are you sure you want to be running around after a baby at your age."
And my all time favourite .... Senior Fertility Nurse at same clinic after the mmc.  "Some women will never get pregnant no matter how many times they try."  She then informed me that only 1% of women have a mmc after a heartbeat.  I then said, but why am I always on the worst side of the statistics?  She said "I don't know, have you thought about doing the lottery?"  
I never went back to that clinic.

ange xx
PS I love this thread.


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## Flutter74

just been reading through this thread. omg what people say & dont you just want to punch them. 

i remember telling someone recently that Im starting treatment & for there reaction to be " are you doing it for the benefits" 

i laughed & replied " oh hunni i earn far to much money for benefits but thanks for the tips i could try" 

honestly 

x


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## Mrsball

Wow! What a great thread
Absolutely shocking comments yet somewhat comforting to know you're not alone ....

My top 3 (in order)

1. DH mums partner over dinner..
"My daughters pregnant and her Boyf wants her to get an abortion"

2. Former friend response after confiding in her about my infertility
"I'm pregnant" (with my 4th child)

3. My boss about my holiday request (who knows about IF)
"You're lucky you're going to Crete. I have to suffer Peppa pig world with my children"
.... Oh yes how awful for you!


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## deedee_spark

So i had a few more clangers over the weekend. Not as bad as most of these comments for you girls. Just the usual stuff:
"Well why do you want a baby so much?" Said my soon to be a father brother.
"You wouldn't have wanted to go through my divorce, that was far worse than this." - my mother.
"You never see your children anyway. They never visit. I don't expect any support from them, cause they've never supported me." My mother to me.

You've probably seen it before but this morning I sent them this. http://www.resolve.org/support/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html

BFN for me this month. Ground hog day. Cycle starts again.
x

/links


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## Cranky Angie

deedee sorry to hear your news.  
Ange x


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## lis16uk

my mother a few weeks after gearing up the courage to tell her we'd been trying and that we'd just fount out my husband had a zero sperm count so we needed to be referred for testing; 
"we're (her and my dad) not bothered about your situation because your sister will be giving birth to our first grandchild soon" 
shortly followed by 
"it's your own fault for saying you didn't want kids when you were younger" (when i was a young teenager who was angry at the world!) . 
she had drank numerous glasses of wine by this point, and i can tell she still feels guilty about it, but it didn't make it hurt any less...


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## deedee_spark

That's horrible lis16k. Blame the victim!


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## kerryh

Oh Ladies it's nice to know my family aren't the only crazy insensitive ones! I have to laugh or I'd cry. I'm waiting for my mother to top the high chair comment, it'll happen soon enough, she's totally bonkers.   

Truly some awful ones on here. Molly your doctor, I am speechless, you think she'd be used to handling IF as it's uhhhhh her job!!!!! wtf! If I was to be so careless at work with my words I'd be sacked. 

What I have learnt from my experiences are that when somebody else has a problem, that you've never experienced and can't comprehend, it's best just to say how sorry you are and leave it at that!! Words are wisdom, advice and stories are not welcome! 

We soldier on.......


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## Duncy80

Hello

Can't believe the high chair comment. Unbelievable!

My worst comment recently:-

I had just been out for lunch with a friend, when I arrived back home and my father in law was round. My father in law knows all about out fertility problems!

Him: did you have a nice lunch
Me: yes. I have eaten too much, I feel stuffed
Him: I bet you wish you were eating for two and laughed!

I laughed back but deep down wanted to cry


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## Dramaqueen88

Oh Duncy! 

That's awful I think I would have swung for him if he had said that to me! How insensitive!


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## sophiekh

I have quite a few, but some of these are really bad    I don't think people understand

1.  Woke up from operation, call from sister, told 'why am I even bothering'
2. Another one after an op 'You had these operations before, you should be used to it' from ex

SOmetimes I wish I never told anyone


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## scribbles

When chatting to my friend at my TA regiment about my upcoming IVF injections back in December (bearing in mind that she has a science degree)

"so it's sperm that you inject into yourself?"

Er, no.....


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## lis16uk

got another, not the worst at all but still said with no tact!
my sister's just been round with her baby, baby starts crying, my sister says "god i bet your neighbours will be panicking thinking you've had a baby"
not much chance of that is there!


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## Guest

to everyone who's had these insensitive comments! 

This isn't a bad one, but would anyone else find it hard to be told this at work? - "oh I've not told you my good news - I'm going to be a grandma!" I know I'm being over sensitive (and it's grandma not even mum) but I really thought why did she have to tell me after I've obviously been through a lot with pregnancy loss/lack of children and had time off at work?   It's horrible having to say "oh congratulations!" when you feel like running off crying! I hate feeling so miserable and negative


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## lis16uk

argh tell me about it, my boss has just become a grandmother for the 1st time, and all i've heard since the birth last week is baby talk, constantly. sometimes wish i wasn't stuck in an office for 8 hours a day- there's no escape!


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## Guest

Argh   That must take some patience. Thanks for the reply, I was starting to feel a bit silly and wondering if I was overreacting, but it's hard at times! Sometimes you get stuck in a treadmill of your own negative thoughts, grr!   I think I will have some ice cream & watch TV tonight! Wishing you good luck lis16! xx


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## Heidi33

Hmmm I have 2 things said that irked me:

"If the IUIs don't work maybe you should just accept its not meant to be" (meaning giving up after only 3 IUIs)

"If give up if you're not pregnant by 40 because its unlikely to happen after that".

Both uttered by v nice ladies who didnt mean to p!ss me off but did!


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## Fairy_secrets

I've heard a lot of insensitive comments. 
The worst however was at a party, a friend and I had had a few cocktails and were in the loos and she started asking me when I was going to get married. I said my usual about how we might get married one day but it doesn't matter really to either of us. 

She then said she was surprised we weren't getting married and thought that we would be because of all we had been through. I said what we'd have been through has made us closer than ever and that we didn't need to get married to prove it. She said that we had proved to her we were serious about each other by sticking together and she was surprised I hadn't left him (MFI).

I think at the time it didn't sink in what she had said and I didn't say anything, which I now regret!


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## EmGran

It's awful to hear what people are experiencing, but it is somewhat reassuring too. I was starting to take it personally that so many people seemed to think they didn't needed to show any sensitivity for what must surely be an obviously painful situation  

It's strange that people can blithely trample all over your feelings when it comes to fertility when they never would in relation to other topics. Can you imagine people saying "Hey don't worry, you still have other friends/relatives etc" when someone has died? Or "Sorry to hear you have cancer. Oh I just got my all clear, would you like to have a look at my scan?"... exactly, I don't think so! 


So here are my contributions:


Me: "Yeah, my period is a bit late... who knows, maybe I'm pregnant eh?" (meant as a bleak joke)
Mother (not joking): "Well it's about time"

Pregnant work colleague who knows my situation: "Would you like to look at my scans?" (while shoving said scan pics under my nose)
Me: "Not really"
Everyone else around table: ... awkward silence.

Later on, another work colleague who also knows my situation: "Well, there is never a right time to have a baby you know. If you wait until it's the 'right time' then it will be too late"
Me: ...stunned silence

And some other classics:

"Just have a drink, stop being so boring - I can't see what difference it will make" (from a friend with 5 kids)

"Well you know it will happen, don't worry. I got pregnant by accident while I was still on the pill"

"God yeah I know, it's awful. When I was trying for my second child I was in a right state. After three months I was all like - oh my god, why isn't it happening"

"It's not really a problem that your husband is out of work and you might have to sell your flat to pay for IVF - you can always move back in with your Mum can't you? Anyway, people who can't have kids should not do IVF. They should adopt."

"My friend got pregnant when she started drinking full fat milk..." and ten minutes later: "Oh yeah, I heard that cutting out dairy is a good idea - have you tried that?"

Give me strength!!


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## scribbles

Crikey ladies, how do fertile people manage reproduce with their level of ignorance?

I want a t-shirt made that says "Please do not offer any unsolicited advice as a punch to the throat often offends"


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## lis16uk

argh, just thought i'd update on the boss who's just become a grand mother- the baby has now been in our office for the last hour and i've been forced into holding her, twice. cute baby- but my boss should know better than to parade her around infront of me!  
rant over.


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## Guest

There's a name for that in therapy but I can't remember what it is! Something to do with facing difficult things in order to come to terms with it! A friend of mine did that but on Skype, insisting on showing her baby to me on screen when id just lost mine at 20 weeks! It was probably good for me   Well done it teaches patience eh!  

We could make a book (as well as t shirts!) out of all of these!   To you all xx


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## Natalie1402

When I was TTC I kept getting uti's and pains down below. I went to see a gp at my local surgery, I explained what was happening and that we were TTC , and he said and I quote ' have you been sleeping around?' I was completely caught off guard by this question and said ' no I haven't as I'm married' to which he replied 'how certain are you your husband isn't playing away?' I actually could have knocked him out had I not been so shocked. My husband was so mad when I told him, and if I'd been the type of person who has trust issues or anything it could have destroyed my marriage. Luckily I don't have any issues like that. I wouldn't mind but he didn't even do a test on the sample I took in with me. 

Needless to say I've since joined a different doctors and recently found out I've got a tilted uterus which can make me prone to uti's.


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## scribbles

Oh my goodness Natalie!!!!! That's horrific!!!!!!! I'd ask him if he was sure his wife was straying! How horrible of him! Who did he think he was!! That makes me mad, thank goodness you have a new doctor and diagnosis!!


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## josephine96

Wow, reading all these comments really is shocking!  I think I have had it easy, the hardest things I have dealt with were:

A friend who knew we were TTC, recently text me (after not seeing or speaking to her for over a year.....long story as to why we were distant with each other) telling me that she was pregnant - she knew we wanted a baby - did she not connect her brain?  Did she really have to even tell me??

MIL before she knew we were having problems, commented on IVF and how much she didn't understand why they didn't just give up!!  And then when she found out about our IVF, she said how easy it was for her (helpful!).  She can't even bring herself to say the word IVF!  Just asks when are you starting - I love it when she says this as I talk back in riddles.....he he.  She gets quite flustered he he he 

I do however face the standard joke that I treat my cats (2 siamese boys) like they are my babies.....no one at work knows how much I want children, I just have to laugh it off but suffering in silence is tough - people tend to think I choose not to have children so that makes me selfish......it hurts.

Good job that FF exists for us all  

Just sorry to hear so many cruel and insensitive comments....it really is shocking that people can be that cruel and in the most surprising places!


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## jdm4tth3ws

My DH. yesterday. he was checking how much he'll have saved up by beginning of october forthedeposit on my new car. so i said how come you can save up 1k for my new car but you wont save up for fertility tx. he said well 1, we need the new car and we dont need a new baby and lets be honest 2, whats the point when you only miscarry them. 
ouch!!!


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## Pudding34

Josephine

I used to get similar comments from work colleagues about my dog, I have two now but back when I was working there I had one and I loved showing pics of her to certain friends that I had worked with for years.

I never bored other people that I wasnt close with with photos and stories but in an open plan office it clearly made them think it was their place to comment!

One guy actually said to me you treat your dog like a baby you should just have a baby! This comment came pretty soon after we knew about our issues and I didn't know how to reply!

The same guy also reminded me how old I was a few times and that time was "ticking away"!

Although he didn't know about our issues or my burning desire to have a baby couldn't he have used his common sense? I was a woman of a certain age who hadn't renounced having kids! wake up moron!

I have since left that place and work as a consultant now so I don't have to worry about idiots who say silly things at work but there will always be people like that, I find going on the offensive helps sometimes! Say yeah my cats are my babies but I draw the line at breast feeding! Ha ha! And then just walk off!

Pudding
X


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## Pudding34

Jade

I just saw your post and I know after all you have been through that must have stung badly!

I'm sure that he didn't mean it but that doesn't make it any better.



Pudding
X


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## josephine96

pudding - love the line about drawing the line at breast feeding cats   

I have this really awkward situation where work think I am a career girl (it's kept my mind off our infertility and the wait to start ICSI), my bosses have made several remarks to me such as "thank goodness you aren't ever going to pull the maternity card on us".  It's such a wrong comment, all I can do is change the subject quickly!  If I get that precious BFP, I will have to sit them down and pass them the smelling salts lol

I also hate the age thing, just because you are a certain age, you are written off....winds me up.

jdm - really sorry to hear about the comment from DH, that must have hurt you deeply - sending you a big    by the way, have you clobbered him yet? xx


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## Lindoprincess

My delightful boss, pregnant at the time of course and fully aware of all I'd been thorough said "it's alright for you, you don't know how hard it is being pregnant". Nice.


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## violeta

Lindoprincess said:


> My delightful boss, pregnant at the time of course and fully aware of all I'd been thorough said "it's alright for you, you don't know how hard it is being pregnant". Nice.


What the actual hell?!?   There are some humdingers on this thread but this was the worst for me. What were you supposed to say to that exactly?

Only a couple of people at work know my situation so people have dropped some unintentional comments. I once had no sleep, came into the office like a zombie, mentioned to a colleague that I was tired and I got: "so you have a baby keeping you up all night too?" I wanted to scream but it wasn't his fault, he doesn't know.

Another colleague has just confided in me that she has JUST found out she's pregnant with her third and how it was unplanned. I bit my tongue but as she kept on going on about how it was unplanned I had to tell her that I was being referred for fertility tests as I just couldn't take it. To her credit she was quite sweet after that and actually emailed her friend who had had similar problems, and said that I could private message her any time she liked.


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## CrazyHorse

jdm4tth3ws said:


> My DH. yesterday. he was checking how much he'll have saved up by beginning of october forthedeposit on my new car. so i said how come you can save up 1k for my new car but you wont save up for fertility tx. he said well 1, we need the new car and we dont need a new baby and lets be honest 2, whats the point when you only miscarry them.
> ouch!!!


The next communication from me to DH after that would probably be the divorce papers. Good Lord.


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## Cranky Angie

Jdm ...
And the second communication from me would've been a swift kick where it really hurts. Good lord indeed. 
 ange x


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## jdm4tth3ws

Thanks pudding xx crazy horse and cranky angie.
i didnt do any of the above suggestions, i simply said ok. how lame is that? i wouldnt lower myself to kick him in the jewels, wouldnt want to get my knee dirty. 
but, i have told him hes also paying for my endometrial biopsy though. he wasnt too pleased but said yes ok.
so waiting for ovulation or confirmation from prof quenby shes got my nhs referral-whichever comes first.
yes, it stung, but chin up, shake it off and best foot forward! 
thanks Ladies 
xxxxx


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## violeta

Well after my fourth sleepless-because-of-TTC night, my husband has just told me "you sound mental. You've just got to relax about these things and accept that you don't have any control". Er, ok then, I'll do just that. Simples. Finding it very difficult to cope with a husband who claims to have absolutely no emotion over it. "of course I wish we had a baby but I'm not finding it difficult". 

Great to know that he thinks I'm mental. I've tried to get him to read just ONE forum dedicated to TTC to show him that I'm actually quite normal in my feelings but he refuses. Because obviously he knows everything about it. He's just suggested going straight to IVF because TTC is driving me nuts ... shows you how much he hasn't read about how things work and how it's not just handed out willy nilly. Glad one of us is doing some reading on the subject.


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## Cranky Angie

My DH calls me mental on a regular basis. It must be a bloke thing because I'm pretty sure I'm not mental but infertility is incredibly upsetting and stressful. They just don't get it. Fair enough they might not necessarily get it, but they could be a bit kinder and a bit more understanding that maybe you are hurting and being called mental really doesn't help.

My thoughts and big hugs are with you. 
Ange xxxx


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## josephine96

Last night, chatting about IVF, we have to have EC done in one hospital, and then hubby has to hot foot it to another hospital with my eggs (fingers crossed I make it that far) in a little incubator.......he commented how silly that was and that it was annoying as he would have to pay to park!!!  Must be soo annoying thats all he has to do in this process......meanwhile, in hospital 1, I am recovering!!  But hey, at least I don't have the hassle of parking the car, just weeks and week of drugs and emotional turmoil, side effects etc!  MEN!


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## EmGran

Ha! Sometimes you have to laugh. I know men aren't often programmed to empathise... but really?? I told my DH about my best pal at work telling me she's preggers this week and his words were "Oh, that's lovely".

No, husband that's not "lovely"- that's someone else's pregnancy in my face for the next 9 months in the only place where I thought I could escape from all of this... for  sake!!

(poor hubby gets the picture now...)


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## aRainbow

Why are reproductively healthy people so insensitive?  

I hate it when people say to me "all he has to do is look at me and I'm pregnant".  That one really gets my goat for some reason. 

I work in abortion care btw so I've had a few bobby dazzlers (not that anyone knew i was ttc lol)


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## MrsNicolaB

Wow arainbow that has to be up there with the hardest job to do while TTC!


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## Molly99

Arainbow, you must be such a strong woman  

I know how you feel about that comment....my DH told me that he only had to look at his ex girlfriend to get her pregnant (they had 2 kids, one abortion and she's had an extra 4 kids and 3 abortions that DH knew of)  

Nice to know how super fertile he was before he had his vasectomy and how expendable babies were back then


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## Redgirl

Two worst things:

1. Don't worry - Hannah was 90 in the bible when she conceived!
2. Maybe it is God's way of stopping you having a disabled child!

Both from a close family member who honestly thought this would be helpful.


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## Molly99

Good grief Redgirl, I honestly had to chuckle at those for their sheer ridiculousness. God must have a very warped idea of who he points his infertility finger at then and if I knew who Hannah was (sorry!) I'm sure I would have a better idea but it's called a _miracle _for a reason


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