# bfn....



## sambid (Oct 3, 2006)

hi all
just to say i tested this morning day 16 and a bfn for me...my official date is tomorrow  for testing but that is day 17 which i dont think it will be much different tomorrow....
had no af yet but the cyclogest will be keeping that  at bay....

good luck to the rest of you

sam


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## Dereeka (Sep 13, 2006)

So sorry Sambid.... Sending you   .  Have got a plan to do soemthing nice to treat yourself?

Dez x


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

So sorry Sambid  

Look after yourself & DH

Take care
Natasha


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## Jess75 (Nov 4, 2005)

So sorry Sambid xxx


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## shazzy1969 (Jan 22, 2007)

HI ALL WELL TODAY WAS THE DAY I WAS DREADING ITS AS IF I NEW ALREADY AND WAS WAITING FOR THE CONFORMATION    
JUST WAITING ON THE DREADED   
BUT LIFE GOES ON I SUPPOSE I AM STILL LUCKY TO HAVE 2 MORE FROZEN EMRYOS LEFT SO WILL GIVE MY BODY A BREAK FROM ALL THE DRUGS FOR A FEW MONTHS THEN TRY AGAIN IN APRIL
LOTS OF  
TO ALL YOU OUT THERE WAITING AND HOPE ALL THE 2WW GET THE     YOU ARE ALL HOPING AND PRAYING FOR
TAKE CARE I WILL BE STILL READING ALL THE MESSAGE BOARDS HOPING TO READ GOOD STORIES
BYE FOR NOW
SHARON


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## Shabba (Nov 18, 2006)

Hi Sharon,
I'm so sorry that it hasnt worked for you  
I know how you must be feeling, lifes crap !!!
You have such a positive attitude, and i'm sure that will help you through this tough time.

Enjoy yourself while you're waiting for your body to get back to normal. You deserve that much after what you've been through.

Take care
Sharon x


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Sharon so sorry to hear it was a BFN.

Kate xx​


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## Guest (Jan 29, 2007)

Hi Sharon!
So sorry it didn't work out this time  , really don't know what to say, it must feel so bad and it's really unfair.
Take care of yourselves, try to relax in the meantime (easier said than done) and here's to a big success for your two precious frosties.
Rivka x


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## freespirit. (Nov 24, 2004)

Hi Sharon ,
Hunni , i am so sorry to read your news  
Take good care of yourself
Love
Freespirit
x x x


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## shazzy1969 (Jan 22, 2007)

thanks so much for all your lovely messages they really do help
all the luck in the world to everyone else 
hopefully we will all achieve our dreams one day
  
  
 
take care all you 2ww out there and all who have been in touch and ive talked to over the last few days youve been bril
xxxxxxxxxxx


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## **Jenna** (Jan 11, 2005)

Hi girls, i think i be joining u soon. I had a bfn today after my first icsi   I just wanted to know roughly how long would i have to wait till i can start fet? I have got 8 frozen embryo's and i just want to get started on things. Clinic have told me to re-test on sunday but iam not holding my breath on that one, so i will be getting a follow up consultation soon, but i would just lk to know roughly how long i'd have to wait. 
Thanks for reading Jenna xxx


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## KayO (Apr 27, 2006)

Sorry to hear your BFN - sending your loads of       from my fresh embryo transfer to my 1st frozen embryo transfer my Hospital told me that I had to have 2 periods after my withdrawal bleed.  Hope this helps


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## freespirit. (Nov 24, 2004)

I am also sorry to hear about your BFN   .
Like Kay said you should leave at least 2 periods between cycles , you have been though a lot both emotionally and physically and you need to give your body time to recuperate and heal before you start pumping it full of drugs again .
Stay strong hunni
Freespirit
x


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## loobylu (Jul 7, 2005)

Hi all, I sadly had a BFN on sunday 12days post transfer, however I still have no sign of my AF? When I had IVF it arrived as soon as I stopped taking the cyclogest but this time nothing?

Guess its different for FET...Can anyone tell me when its likely to arrive?
XX

Thanks


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Hi

Sorry to hear of your bfn 

Were you taking cyclogest this time ?  If so then its likely that this is what is delaying your AF.  Although you may have started bleeding soon after stopping cyclogest previously, each treatment cycle, including fet, can be different so how you responded one time may be completely different the next.

Take care
Natasha


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## loobylu (Jul 7, 2005)

Thanks Natasha...

I stopped taking the cyclogest on Sunday..strange thing is that my AF symptoms have eased off as well..Until yesterday it felt like af could arrive any minute..

xx


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

The cyclogest can cause all sorts of side effects and symptoms as its progesterone supplement...this could be why the AF like symptoms have stopped.  If you only stopped the cyclogest on Sunday then thats only 2 days...some ladies find they don't start bleeding for several weeks...we're all different after all, and as I mentioned, each treatment can be different too.

Did your clinic actually advise you to test at 12dpt and stop the medications if BFN ?  I'm only asking because our clinic always advise testing 14dpt, whether its fresh ivf or fet.

Testing at 12dpt may have been too early....I've read of plenty of ladies tseting even at 13dpt and getting bfn and then testing 14dpt and getting bfp...have you tested again since Sunday 

Take care
Natasha


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## loobylu (Jul 7, 2005)

No..I thought testing on day 12 was standard to be honest so didnt question it. I did a test at home before taking a morning sample to the clinic for my official test (both on Sunday) If AF doesnt arrive by Friday I may retest, im sure it will though..

Dont want to get my hopes up...
Thanks Natasha...really appreciate you replying xx


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## olgakorbut (Jul 5, 2008)

...perhaps a new beginning!

I am at the moment trying to be positive, but DH is on lates so went this pm and wont be home until midnight or just before, so it may hit me late and sort of is now that I am not pg through our own eggs and sperm.  

I didnt come back on the board yesterday to say that I did another pg test and there was a line, as I didnt want to make an idiot of myself, and I thought maybe there is a very very very slim chance of being the miracle 45 year old eh!  Alas not to be and I have just put my little embie babies to bed with their brothers/sisters and thanked my grandad for looking after them.

I tried my best to get there naturally and with IVF, but it wasnt to be and I am upset but have some hope in a way.  I said to hubby whilst the nurse went to get us some info, you dont say alot about DE abroad etc etc, thinking he isnt for it.  I think it is more the money thing and I so need to get a job and pray I do soon to help out!  He shocked me and talked all the way home and said he would prefer to go straight to donor embryos? I was amazed, although we have other options and are not going to discount those, one very special one in particular which I cannot go in to.  That way it is neither his nor mine biologically, and even though I thought he would agree with me and it being half us, he said it doesnt matter and that whoever brings them up are their parents and they love them no matter what!  

I tried to encourage him to do tests and think he will, but I think there is reason behind him saying what he did, e.g. he knows his ex-wife had Mental Health probs and has said in the past his daughter has them and is worried that a biological child may be the same.  Maybe it is just me thinking that way,but I wouldnt be surprised if he felt like that, although you dont know what may happen with DE and tendancies eh!!! Also he says that he is now 47 and although the nurse said he looked 35, much to his delight, he says there could be probs with his sperm and we dont know and best to go for donor embryo where the donor on both sides is very young and gives us a chance.

Crying now again in amazement to be honest, I so wanted a little miracle to be part of him, but he just wants one for us to love!!!! xxxx 

I so pray that we can get there and in the meantime thank you all for your lovely messages of support and sorry I didnt come up trumps, I so wish I could, but hopefully I will get your support in the next phase, if I can get a job that is! I will certainly be supporting all my mateys on here!!!!

hugs and love and goodbye to my own last 2 angels
Kathy xxxxx


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## MV (Jan 23, 2008)

so sorry to hear your news kathy but pleased for you that DH is positive about the donor embryos, wishing you all the very best, take care of yourselves, MV


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## Bewley (Oct 14, 2007)

Hey honey, if you're on here can you delete some of your messages your inbox is full and just done you a mammouth pm that don't want to lose and can't seem to copy and paste to save it x


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## katiechick (Jan 12, 2008)

So sorry to read Ur news Hun hope u and DH take care of each other   

Katie xxx


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## AlittleBird (Aug 29, 2007)

hi guys - update! THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT

I got a BFN  







this morning and went to the hospital and they said same- took blood sample but the sister said 'sorry its pretty much over-the test on my urine sample was pretty much same as blood test in accuracy and I am not preg'  , came home and saw the test that I had done this morning and there was a line showing positive however faint! I got my hopes up again and got excited I could hardly breathe when saw positive test - then spopke to a friend who says this happens after u have read the result it does its own thing which is why we have to check in certain time! I then felt gutted again as I do now and had to come off the phone- I knew this friend would be the one to tell me straight though as she is a good friend and has sensible head on shoulders-she would have told me straight!
I am so devastated but at least hung onto glimmer of hope for few more minutes!

Thanks all for support I don't know what to do now as have no more embryos and no donors-my sisters don't respond to well o the treatment and there are no other donors available apparently.
Hope to speak to some of u soon and hear how you are getting on and wishing you more luck in getting YOUR DREAM
BFP   








XXXXXX


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## Irish Dee (Jan 30, 2008)

Hello little bird,

Not sure if this will help, but thought I copy this old post for you.
******************************************************************************
Just wanted say a few things to all the ladies who have had BFN's and also to all the ladies who have had the joy of BFP's and then had the hope cruelly snatched from them.  

I always feel that there seems to be immense pressure on everyone to get over negative results so fast?  

If you had a broken romance or were made redundant from your job had any kind of family crisis, no one would expect you to get over it so quickly.  

Because infertility is not openly recognised as the stressful, difficult road that everyone here at FF knows it is, we really don't know how to cope.  There are no songs about infertility, there must be 1000's about heart break and in a way, the whole world knows how to deal with someone who has been through something that they can relate to.

We invest so much time and energy in this process, and I'm sure I'm not alone when I look back at what I have had to do to get to this point.  I had to lose weight, (difficult thing to do), give up smoking, (very difficult thing to do), give up drinking, (except for a few lapses).  It's taken me 3 1/2 years to get to this point and all I have is a BFN!!!

We pump ourselves full of drugs and hormones and while slowly withdrawing from our normal social lives, we actually allow ourselves to believe that we might get the babies that we all so desire. 

BFNs and chemical pg's are such a huge loss to us.  We all know that we cannot just 'try again' in a month or two because there is a rough, hard process to the the finish line.

Be kind to yourselves and talk, talk, talk about your loss.  There must be a grieving process, which everyone need to go through.

Here at FF, we have all lost something..........our innocence? our belief in a fair world? our dreams?

I feel the pain of every woman on here and wish you all luck and babydust.

Apologies if I've rambled, feeling a bit emotional today, (did I mention that that sometimes happens to FF's.....ha ha).


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## AlittleBird (Aug 29, 2007)

Thankyou so much for your understanding I couldn't have put it better myself. What a lovely display of warmth and empathy of the 'roller coaster ride of fertility tx' that we FF all have to go through.
I completely agree with everything you said and feel for anyone through every stage of any treatment 
So sorry for you both too and yes would love to chat sometime too.

We have felt loss at almost every stage possible so far and this again the last hurdle I still couldn't quite make. I feel ok this eve but had the biggest cry I have ever had earlier (and I am not unknown to tears believe me -lol) I think this helped -my family have been over and a close friend and I feel OK for now but know that I have many stages to go through as still sont think its hit me-I feel rather numb actually I expect (as have in past) to feel lonely, disappointed, angry, immense guilt-what did i do wrong?,guilt for my DH, lost (what now?) devastated more and more as my friends send me pictures of their babies saying 'baby thinking of you'  (They think this helps for some reason), I often feel like a let down and sometimes  like my world is ending.These are all past feelings I have had on complete lows- unbearable and overpowering emotions and hormones all over the place! .... or maybe I am stronger this time and will cope better -

I do seem to get stronger through each disappointment- but this is the furthest we have got and we thought this was it !
Thankyou both for your words and it has helped as I know I am not alone- I agree that fertility is treated very different and can be a very taboo shh shh subject- but I am very open about it and hope to change at least some of the peoples attitudes around me (I think I already have) - people just do not understand the sheer grief and devastation we feel- I have felt loss inside me and lacked in womanhood almost -it has affected my self image and self esteem over the yrs as since 16 I have known I would need another womans help to have a child (if i could ever carry one) and it just isnt getting any easier for me I hope one day it will be our turn to get a BFP!
I am such a misery aren't I -sorry guys I'll shut up now b4 I cry  again.  
GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL TOO XXXX


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## Irish Dee (Jan 30, 2008)

AN OBSERVATION:

If you had a friend who was stood up at the alter on their wedding day, everyone and I mean EVERYONE would be very careful not to talk about their own wedding and no one would be shoving wedding albums at them and asking them which centre piece would be good for their own big day.

If you had a friend whose house had been repossessed, no one would be bragging about their new extensions and asking them to admire their homes and help choose colour schemes.

If you had a friend who was made redundant, you would not constantly talk about how much you love your job and how marvellous it was.

Why oh why, is it then, that we are 'allowed' to be slightly jealous about jobs/homes/weddings etc, but for some reason no one thinks twice about handing you scan pictures and telling you oh, we're having a boy/girl and the ONLY acceptable response is for you to almost be as excited as them.

It does not happen with anything else in life and we are not expected to be over the moon for any other achievements made by any of our friends/family, but when a baby is on the horizon, we all have to be deliriously happy.  I just don't get it.

I've never heard anyone say that it was 'selfish' of a friend not to be chuffed for their friend's 'house/job/wedding' except when you are talking about babies.

I think the honest answer is that just people don't understand for a minute how crushing and breathtakingly sad infertility is.

Everyone can appreciate the other scenarios because they understand the other things. It must be like someone in a wheelchair with no legs trying to explain how it feels, but until you sit in that chair, will you ever really understand?

If I'm honest, I did not understand the impact of infertility until it touched my life. I was not aware that infertility is carried with you like an invisible cloak, marking you as slightly different from all those around you.

I remember back in the days before infertility crept into and put a shadow on my life, I would hear about miscarriages and 'IVF' and 'infertility' and I did not really give it much thought at all. But when it leaked into my life, I could not even begin to try to explain to other people how it feels not to be able to do, what should be, the most natural thing in the world.  

It is the thing that we share on FF.  

I could go on, but I have a tendency to rant.

To all the strong fabulous women, struggling every day with this, our time will come.

Dee


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## Princessem (Jul 2, 2008)

Alittlebird - im so so sorry for your loss. Big cuddles going your way. 


Odriscde01 - your observations are so accurate. especially other people and their kids photos, anouncements of pregnancies etc etc. a little bit of sensitivity please!!!!!!!!!!

emma


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## AlittleBird (Aug 29, 2007)

Odriscde01 - i agree with emma completely came from the heart! again!  this made me cry you have a way with words a real gift and my DH rob absolutely loves it-so much that he has stolen ideas from you and put a note on ********- he thinks that it hits the nail on the head and has called you a genius on his profile page! he thinks its so lovely that others feel the same as you are so right it is completely different and whenever somebody elses baby is involved all tact and sensitivity goes out the window- and really it is the MOST SENSITIVE AND INCREDIBLY EMOTIONAL part of a couples life in my opinion-fertility or infertility on this case!
you are a star thankyou you have really helped

emma- thanks hun for kind words and support 
hope you are ok? good luck to you both and big hugs 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
andrea


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## Irish Dee (Jan 30, 2008)

Hi Andrea,

You've made me blush!!!!!!!  I love to write things down as it helps me to process information.  I've expanded on a few ideas from my previous posts and at the risk of sounding like I'm turning into a preacher, it's attached.
*********************************************************************************************

It's important to remember.....................

To try to make some sense of the infertility nightmare, I've tried to put down a few thoughts about how I feel about it all.  

Sometimes I get so obsessed about having a baby, I kind of forget the reasons that I wanted one in the first place.  Myself and my DH were chatting about this the other night and we have come to a few realisations.

We are only in this situation because firstly we found each other, fell in love and decided that we would live out our lives together.  We have managed to build ourselves quite a nice life that we hope to share this with a little one.

Secondly, we are not looking for a baby to 'fix' us, to make up happy or to give us a distraction from any misery/unhappiness. 

Thirdly, and this one took me some time to realise. At 37, I've always believed that I would love to have a baby, but if it was the most important thing to me, I'd probably have had a baby in my 20's. 

I was 32 when I met my husband and I never, ever considered having a baby when I was by myself. Who knows, if I was single, perhaps I would spend  lot if time on 'Match.com' instead of FF!!!!!!!

More than a baby, I always wanted a family and that is only possible with our lovely husbands/partners. 
We are our own little family and one day we will hold a little hand in ours!!!!

When faced with infertility it sometimes feels that it is the hardest thing in the world.  There are hundreds of thousands of people out there struggling every day with their own demons.  

Even though I sometimes think enviously about friends/family who have children, would I actually swap what I have for what they have?  If I was actually given the choice that I could have a baby, but I would have to make serious changes to my own life, would I do it?  The answer is no.

Most people struggle with something.  Illness, unemployment, a sick parent, a sick child, money worries, lack of understanding, lack of fun, lack of intimacy, lack of love.  I think we often forget that there are more ways than infertility to upset your life.  

I have to believe that one day, our prayers will be answered and we will become parents.  

Every success story that I read on FF has the same message.  Everyone says that as soon as you hold your little one in your arms, the years of pain and heartache just melt away.

If that is the case, I don't want to waste a minute of my life worrying and being upset about something that I have absolutely no control over.

I only have one life and this is my intention.  I'm going to enjoy mine.  I'm going to enjoy my husband.  I'm going to enjoy my friends.  I'm going to enjoy my freedom (even though it is imposed on me!)

I will do all I can, for as long as I can to create a baby, but in the meantime, I'm going to have some FUN!!!

Babydust to all,

Dee


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## AlittleBird (Aug 29, 2007)

I think we all get to this stage after some heartache or another failure which is good as it keeps us strong and focussed on what we actually do have - a wonderful DH /DP. We think exactly the same -that a baby would not fix us-(i sometimes think we would feel 'complete' but that doesnt mean that we dont without one-if that makes sense-prob not but i know what we mean!)

We will also do all we can but certainly will never let it come between us as it is our love and devotion to one another which made us even want a baby. 
Rob has always said from the very beginning (when we were 1 that it was me that he loved - not the chance of having a baby and he wouldn't want one with anyone else but me so knowing all those yrs back that I would need donor eggs and would very probably not be able to conceive anyway has only made us stronger  and I know he loves me so much and didnt have to stay with me- he had the choices that I didnt.
I know in this respect I am the luckiest girl alive and after the immense upset it causes each time it fails for whatever reason -reality sets in and we know we will be ok as we will enjoy our lives together!
Holidays galore for us til then 
Thanks again your words are good!!

xxxxxxx


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## AlittleBird (Aug 29, 2007)

AGREED! you both are hun
xxx


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## Jomag (Oct 20, 2008)

Hey girls - didnt want to just read and run.

Your posts have made me cry, in work!!  How embarrassing.  I am sitting in an office with 500 people (open plan) and I am sniffling like a big five year old.

Dee -as always, you hit the nail right on the head with how IF affects us all.  I don't think anyone who has gone through this horrible process can say they havent experienced the same feelings as you have.  Had lunch with a girl today who knows what I am going through and who just couldnt stop talking about every single thing she did with her kids at the weekend.  I endured every bouncy castle, every walk in the park, every cuddle.  All the things I would so love to have been doing this weekend.  Nothing malicious in it I'm sure, just darn right insensitive and self obsessed.

Littlebird - I hope you are feeling a little stronger hun.  It's got to be one of the hardest things in the world to recover from, but if you want it bad enough you will be a mummy some day one way or another.  You never have to live a childless life as there are always other options.  Would you ever consider going overseas for a donor if there arent any here?


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## AlittleBird (Aug 29, 2007)

hey hun yeah i ok been back to work today - I been pretty strong really to be honest -really positive although my prev posts dont read like that i'm sure. I had my AF today so guess thats that!
yep looking into spain maybe ceram for treatment just need to find out more about it.
Hope you are ok and Dee hun too!







love and hugs  
good luck with frosties jomag


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## rosiebadgirl (Jan 8, 2007)

i understand how you feel, alittlebird. i really do. especially the bit about the pregnancy tests.

after one of my treatments i wrote this:

the second failed ivf has changed everything. i seem to have entered a new phase of my infertility and it's the phase which is utter sh*t, quite frankly.

it's the phase where i qualify for the description 'desperate'.

previously the 'desperate' label was just a word which i could easily understand. ah yeh, that woman there - desperate for a child. desperate. i totally understood it but i didn't feel it. it didn't apply to me.

now it does. and i feel it. it drags itself heavily around my empty womb. 

desperation. it's buying pregnancy tests three weeks after heavy bleeding and a failed treatment. it's holding the negative tests to every source of light for some sign of life and even hours later, pulling it apart and using a magnifying glass on the thin evaporation line. it's picking up a blue biro and wanting to draw the line myself just to help it along. to help me along. it's seriously considering whether perhaps, somehow, maybe even just one embryo went to sleep for a week or two before waking up and becoming a miracle. that pain in my breast? maybe it's the miracle. it's my chin wobbling when i realise outloud that i'm desperate and infertile and tell myself to stop this. it's when i realise with terrific impact that without treatment i won't ever get pregnant. that embryos die not go to sleep. that i can't ever wonder if my period will be late. i can't look for symptoms. i can't buy pregnancy tests. yet i do and when i do i have to hide them like the shameful secrets they are. that after hours of soul destroying scrutiny the evap lines finally begin to look real enough for me to admit them to my husband. then it's the look on his face. it's the sadness. the pity. i can see it and he can see that i've become 'that woman there - desperate for a child'. it's him squinting at the test and trying but struggling to see the line i've been almost seeing for hours. it's me trying to hold it closer to the light so he can almost see it too. it's the utter shame as he moves to hug me. 

it's looking at the cats and telling them i love them. that they're my babies. my two gorgeous boys. my lovely girl. and meaning it. it's realising we're broke and that we're up to our eyes in debt and it's watching my husband verge on a silent nervous breakdown because he's already working his ar** off, worrying about money, and is now finding himself making promises that he doesn't see how he can keep. 'we'll do it, baby, don't worry. we'll get the money from somewhere.' it's watching him fill with angry tears. it's feeling trapped. it's guilt. it's blame. it's fighting. it's trying to explain this abstract feeling which is overwhelming. irrational. this need. this pull. it's sobbing. losing control. shouting. shaking. hyperventilating. panicking because i can feel the drag in my belly that pulls everytime i remember the truth. 

and it's going to a primary school today and chatting to 5 year olds while thoughts of adoption appear in my head. it's my eyes filling up while i talk to a little boy wearing a filthy school shirt and ill-fitting trousers. he looks underfed and i want to take him home. it's the utter injustice. 

it's not coping with a cycle buddy expecting twins.

it's not coping with the sight of a colleagues pregnant belly.

it's not coping.

and it's desperate.

and it's just not funny anymore.

***

I do understand and you're in my thoughts.

xxx


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## Jomag (Oct 20, 2008)

Rosie - your post is heartbreaking and, unfortunately, I can relate to every word of it..  I see that you are down for tx again in April.  Have you started yet?

I have had 9 years of negative tests so I can sympathise with you on that gut wrenching, empty, lonely, pathetic feeling month after month, year after year.  My first marriage ended 6 years ago but I was so lucky to meet the love of my life and marry again last year, and thankfully I was honest with him from the start about my problems with ttc.  I have Polycystic ovaries but was always told that IVF should do the trick so we started the ball rolling before we were married given my age and we wanted to give ourselves plenty of time.  After some tests and just to top things off, we discovered that my gorgeous new hubby also has a problem and he has some kind of antibody problem which has meant us going down the ICSI route, rather than normal IVF.  Anyway, to cut a long story short I am now on my third cycle of tx since September and it is starting to really drag me down.  I am downregging at the moment and due to start progynova next Weds to prepare my lining for FET, however AF has not arrived as it should, so the whole thing could be postponed.

I am beginning to realise just how cruel and difficult this whole IF thing really is.  I am sick and tired of cooing over other peoples babies and I am fed up shopping in Mothercare for newborn presents.  I am starting to think about how another BFN is going to feel.  After so many pee sticks without even a hint of a line, it is impossible now to imagine ever getting anything else!

Hoping that this finds you in a good place and that your journey on this road is nearing a positive conclusion   

Jo x

PS - Stunning photo!


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## Irish Dee (Jan 30, 2008)

Rosie, your post is so raw and honest.  You have so much courage and I pray that you journey will have a happy ending.

Big hugs,

Dee


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## twizzy (Nov 19, 2008)

Hi All, well it is 10 days since my FET and did test today as nurse said as embryos were 5 days to test day 10 and got a BFN.  They threw away the rest of my embies so have none left now.  I am totally devestated and gutted, feel numb not cried yet dont know why not.  DH is saying to wait until 14 days after transfer but nusre said as they were at 5 day stage I wouldnt have to.  Want to have a bottle of wine.  Why oh Why??  The day of my last bfn was the day my sister gave birth to her second baby and today my cousin gave birth to her second too.  My timing is crap, feels so much worse with this news - I know that is selfish of me but can't help it.  I am not a spring chicken (36) and my dh is 10 years older than me so he definitely isn't!  So what to do, even if I go through it all again we are talking almost another year.  And have been trying now for 10 years - 3 with IVF treatment.  I know people out there have been trying for longer than me so sorry if i sound ungateful - not the right word but cant think straight so sorry if this post offends anyone it is not meant to and i wish all ladies reading this all the luck in the world.  What to do what to do what to do.....I am on my wn here to as dh works away and couldnt bring myself to tell anyone about this treatment this time as too much heartache and questions etc last time.  And to cap it all a good friend of mine in work - who again has no idea is 7 months pregnant and keep askin me to feel her tummy when her baby kicks etc which is hard but totally not her fault at all but cant bring myself to say anything so just smile and make all the right noises even though it is tearing me apart inside - sorry for rambling and waffling but thanks for listening and being there xxxx


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## ells (Mar 19, 2008)

Twizzy,   so sorry hun.

Ells


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## twizzy (Nov 19, 2008)

Thanks ells it means alot xxx


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## Olivia (Mar 10, 2009)

Twizzy i am so so sorry to hear your news 

Olivia xxxx


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## chook10 (Apr 3, 2009)

Twizzy,
So sorry about your BFN. I had a FET on the 31st April, started bleeding on day 9, did a pregnancy test on day 13 and got a BFP. Wasn't quite sure how to feel about it because of the bleed but continued to do tests until my 6 week scan today (all my tests were positive with stronger lines each time). Stupidly my DH and i convinced ourselves that i must be PG. Scan today showed an empty sac. Feel completely devastated. They are going to scan again in 1 weeks time, though i'm not sure why, the nurse said there would be a less than 1% chance of a different outcome. This is only our second cycle (ICSI first time) and we still have 2 in the freezer but still feel terrible, like its all been snatched away, can only imagine how your feeling after trying for so long.  
I'm hear if you want to talk.

chook x


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## pinkcaline (Aug 10, 2009)

I  had FET in April and got a BFN on official test date which was 16 dpo (11 days after 5 day transfer) and then bled for a few days, although the bleeding was much lighter than a normal period.  Not really light though, but I am used to heavy AF's so light for me.

Now, I am feeling very tired most of the time.  So much so that its making me want to cry!  Also, I'm waking up at 4-5 am styarving hungry, and getting really hungry soon after I've eaten.

When I had a sucessful IVF (but 5 week mc) I got a BFP 14dpo. 

Is there any chance I could be pregnant.  I don't have any other sysmptoms, but can't stop thinking about it.


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## bearinmind (Oct 4, 2009)

Hi there


I would think there is a chance.  Maybe worth another test and a phone call to the clinic for a blood test to be sure.  Could be a late implant / low levels.  


I noticed this is a couple of days old have you tested what has happened?  


Fingers crossed for you    


D xo


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## sallywags (Jun 27, 2005)

I got bfn on test day, with loads of bleeding.  I found out two weeks later that i was pregnant, and even then it wasn't a hugely strong line.  

It could be that your body is recovering from treatment, but if nothing else, i fyou do a test and get bfn now, at least you will be able to move on without wondering. 
good luck!


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## Persian (Nov 24, 2010)

Hello, I tested today with first response 1 day before OTD. Got a BFN. However, I can't help but feel hopeful as AF hasn't arrived yet. Can anyone tell me whether AF is held off because I'm taking oestrogen patches and progesterone pessaries?

Thank you so much for any help. I'm so scared of AF even though I have gor a BFN and feel her coming. 

Persian x


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## Bubi Wumpkins (Oct 11, 2009)

When I had my FET and got a BFN on my test day i was advised by the nurses to stop all my meds as it would hold of AF. So if it is a BFN tomorow they will probably tell you to stop taking them!

hope this helps!


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## Persian (Nov 24, 2010)

Thanks Bubi. Nicer knowing what to expect. tell me though, what happens if it's one of those false negatives and someone stops the meds. Seems like it's too early. Sorry, I know it's the clinic's advice but have heard of a few people who have then tested later on only to find it's a BFP. 

Persian x


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## Bubi Wumpkins (Oct 11, 2009)

I thought about that too, I kept hoping that maybe the levels just weren't high enough and worried that if i stopped my meds then it wouldn't survive. I suppose you could keep taing them for a couple more days (if you have enough) until you have to go back to the clinic? That might give you chance to check in a couple of days, and then you will now for definite!

xx


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## JodeciMaz (Jun 30, 2010)

Hi Ladies 

After some info - I had what I thought was a failed FET OTD back in Feb, long story short, tested & got BFN and a month later I have had spotting that I thought was AF & now today I have had lower abdominal pain left hand side. Don't know why but I decided to do a HPT as I have suffered an Eptopic before & it came back BFP.

Has anyone else experienced this? 

I have tried my clinic, no answer but going to call first thing & pop into the Early Pregnancy Clinic, hopefully they will have some answers. I really want to be excited about the proepect of being PG, but the pain & spotting are worrying me. 

Thanks ladies


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## ♥ Bambi ♥ (Sep 21, 2010)

No advice but hopefully its a huge      Hope all is well


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