# Will this misery ever end?



## gill73 (Nov 6, 2005)

Apologies for the wallow before I begin  

I have just had my 3rd   this morning, we have had 1 ICSI and 2 FET's, I really thought this was the one, deep down Ive known since a silly pee stick mishap on Sunday,and I thought I would be ok however I have just lost the plot   in a rather dramatic fashion, may I add! 

I just want to be a Mum so badly!  not a "yummy Mummy" or a "mummy who lunches and does coffee mornings" or a "trendy mum who drives the latest kidmobile", just a Mummy who enjoys nothing more than bathing my children,tucking them in at night, reading stories, feeding the ducks, walking through the autumn leaves, painting with them, baking cookies and loving them with every single ounch of love I have left in this battered old heart!

I guess we will start again in May but that seems like a lifetime away  

And I know this crap feeling will pass and I will start again with renewed hope in this TX lark, but OMG it sucks!

Gill xx


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## Happy Mummy (Sep 22, 2006)

Hi Sweetie,
I am so sorry about your BFN. Please don't loose hope , many women have a few BFN and then get a BFP. This is such a difficult time , I know, and it is ok to scream and cry , let the frustration out. I am sending lots and lots of   . It will happen darling and when it does you will be a fantastic mummy.
Future Mummy


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## sheena 1M (Oct 4, 2006)

Hiya Gill

I feel exactly the same.  I had a lecture from a girlfriend the other day who said 'you know Sheena, being a Mum isn't one big bundle of joy, and coffee mornings'.  I was speachless.  Ive never wanted THAT.  I just want to spread my geses, and nuture some lovely children the way I know I can, and make this world a better place for it.

I hope you are feeling ok today and coping with this nightmare.  Don't give up - Im not.

Sheena xxxx


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

Gill, Sheena just wanted to send you both big    i too have felt this way in the past, try to stay positive (very hard at times i know) your dreams will come true  

pam xx


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## bodia (Apr 27, 2005)

Hi Gill,

Your post has bought tears to my eyes.  

I had a BFN nearly 3 weeks ago and I am still sad every single day. It's not as raw now as it was, but my heart aches as I want to be a Mum so much. All around me people are having kids (a friend gave birth this morning,) and I wish them all the best, but I want it to be our turn so much.

So, all I can say is...wallow all you need to. Shout, scream, cry. Come on this website loads and be reassured there are always others who understand exactly how you feel. Eat chocolate. Drink wine. And remember we are all here for you when you need a friend.

xxx


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## Nibbles (Jan 10, 2006)

Gill  

All my sympathy goes to you honey, I know exactly how you feel as I feel the same. I've just tested negative on my FET which was my third 2ww all with 2 x supposedly top grade embies. 

We will just have to find the strength to do yet another cycle and put ourselves through this roller coaster once again. I don't know about you but we've made a tx plan ie a set number of fresh cycles that we will do before calling it a day. That helps me realise that there IS an end to it all, which helps me, but it might not be for everyone.

 again


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## dinky1 (Jan 22, 2007)

Gill,
I hope you are feeling better by today. It can be very difficult to get through those days especially. I agree with another responder, it seems like it is happening for everyone else, even couples who already have children and hadn't planned on more. Just hang in there! 
Dee


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## Angel Pie (Mar 16, 2007)

Hiya honey,

I've just read your post and i have tears in my eyes as i type this reply.. 

My heart goes out to you!! I've only just started on this emotional roller coaster of IVF, but i can imagine wot you must be going through.

Take care and maybe next time you'll hit the jackpot


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## cinders35 (Feb 23, 2007)

I too have tears in my eyes!

your babies will be soooo lucky to have you as their mummy!

Keep hoping,

Love and  

Cindersxxx


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