# going to a wedding, oh no..



## pinkpig (Jan 13, 2011)

Hello Everyone,
I'm absolutely dreading it, i've got to go to my cousins wedding on Saturday, all the family will be there.  I know i'll look at the bride and groom and remember my wedding day, all those dreams of having a family, of our future, I would never have  believed i would be where i am now, never to be a mum, those dreams shattered and my heart hurting so badly.

How can i reply to people who are bound to ask ' have you got children'?  - I feel like just saying a straight but firm 'No' ,or is that too rude? i don't want to explain it all, i'll end up in tears again, i wish i didn't have to go, it's still all to raw for me at the moment.

I'm also dreading it because my husband doesn't get on with my father, so i'll feel torn in two trying to please them both.  My Mum is already pressuring me to get there early the night before (we're all staying together in the same house for two nights!) and my husband wants to turn up late just cos he can't stand my family!!  I really hate my life at the moment!!!!! rubbish body, rubbish job, rubbish life. Surely i'm due a break now god please...


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## sammij (Nov 9, 2005)

Hi Sarah

heartbreaking isn't it?

I'm now too honest with people who ask 'the q' - i now reply '' not through want of trying - 6 miscarriages & IVF failures - i have done my best' !  

i say it with a huge smile and the response i have had is amazing - most people (esp women) respond with a hug and then normally a story of adoption / ivf in thier family!

i know its prob not the same for you, but thats how i have to be, have doen the wallowing & hating the world, have to face up to it - i'm infertile, won't ever have my own natural child - but life does & will go on.

enjoy this wedding, from reading your post it seems you are very stressed re the family thing alltogether and what with the ivf etc, not easy.

but get dressed up / drink champagne (lots! - the harrased mums prob will be wishing they could!)

x


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## Debs (Mar 22, 2002)

Aww hun - not easy is it   

Reading your post you are concentrating on all the negative things about the day which believe me I totally understand especially when you have got family argy bargy going on as well   

If people ask about children - then no its not rude to say no!  but then change the subject quickly as in "didnt the bride look gorgous"   

As for the meet up the night before - then get there with enough time for a catch up - but time where it wont look odd if dh says hes off to bed as hes had a hard week at work or something    Then he can go bed - you can stay up a bit longer and enjoy seeing your parents.

Please do try and enjoy the day - have a few glasses of something to help relax you   

Love

Debs xxx


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