# Testing on Thursday - the wait is now driving me nuts



## janie77 (Jun 3, 2006)

I had IUI on 22 Nov and am due to test on Thursday.  I have been pretty calm and relaxed throughout most of the 2ww but I really feel like I am loosing the plot at the moment.

I am not sleeping well and I just cant seem to think about anything else at the moment, I am sure all of this worry isn't doing me any good.

Not feeling very positive, have got PMT and period pains started this afternoon.  I was very tempted to buy an early test but have managed to resist.

How does everyone else manage to stay calm and positive during the last few days of waiting

Jane xxx


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## ♥MillyMax♥ (Nov 21, 2005)

Hi Janie

The last week of the 2ww is horrendous honey, try to keep yourself busy and occupied, and stay away from those pee sticks, as hard as it is to do you could so easily end up with a false reading.

Personally, I arranged to meet friends and did the 'ladies that lunch' thing as I am fortunate enough not to be working, and also watched loads of DVD's, slept and kept a diary on here, which I believe you are also doing, although unfortunately the time did still drag at times.

Best of luck to you, here's a positive dance for you:       



Jennie
    x


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## janie77 (Jun 3, 2006)

Hi Jennie

Thanks for your reply.  Huge congrats on your pregnancy, you must be over the moon.

Your right it is horrendous, I was doing so well up until the weekend and now its all gone to pot! I am trying to keep busy but finding it hard to concentrate on anything  .  Am determined not to test early so will try to resist the pee sticks.  I am keeping a diary and I have found this to be really helpful, its so good just to get your thoughts down.  Watching DVD's is a good one, I might do that tonight as DH is out so that should keep me occupied for a couple of hours.


Thanks for the dance  

Jane xx


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi jane i have no tips hun but sending u massives of positive thoughts and hugs because u have been a great support to me for months and more than anything i want this to work for u.

Kate xx

           

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## Fin (Aug 23, 2004)

Hi Jane,

Your not alone honey we can go mad together as I test on Thursday also.  

I have not been as strong as you as I did a HPT today and of course got a BFN which was devastating so please don't do it as it will knock you back even more.  I was even thinking earlier that if I do not get my af by Thursday I may leave testing until Friday as it is my late Grans birthday and she is so special to me and is certainly in the right place to put a word in for me (she died 14 years ago).  

How has your 2ww gone?  I have spent it analysing each and every possible symptom and even had a bleed on day 7 past ET which luckily did not remain and to be fair I only noticed it as I was looking for it but luckily only had the 1 that day and an even lighter show the following day when I went for a poo!  

Have you had any symptoms?  I have been really worried about lack of tenderness in by breasts.  Did have niggly af kinda feelings on and off a few days ago but this has now passed and I had really bad nausea yesterday which has reduced to hardly anything today.  

Great to have someone to travel the next couple of day with and I will pray for you along with myself so that we both get our positive outcomes on Thursday.

       

Lol

Fin xxx


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## janie77 (Jun 3, 2006)

Kate - aww, thank you sweetie   you have been a huge support to me too  

Fin - thanks for replying to the post.  So we are cycle buddies and will be testing together   .  I am sure the test you did already was too early.

Lets hope your Gran sends us both a BFP . I  was originally going to test on Friday but its our office xmas do and I really don't want to test that day so we have decided to do it on Thursday.  

Am sorry to hear about your Gran.  I lost my Grandma just over a year ago and she was a very special lady who I was very close to.  I'm not really one for psychics but I had a reading from a woman who some of the girls on here recommended and she told me that my Gran would be sending me present in December and that it would be a baby.  Its really stuck in my mind, I just hope that she meant this December and not next year as I don't think DH and I could cope with another year of this.

My 2ww has been ok really, its just been the last few days that I have been feeling really anxious and worried about it all.  I have tried really hard to stay positive but its getting harder.  I started with some breast tenderness a few days ago but that has pretty much gone now and this afternoon I started with period pains - I hope this isn't a bad sing.  I am doing my best not to read too much into all these things but you just cant help it sometimes.  I also feel like have PMT but that might just be all the stress and the fact that I am not sleeping very well.

As you say we can try and get through the next few days together - heres hoping we both get a BFP             

Jane xxx


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## ♥Saila♥ (Mar 27, 2006)

I really hope it's this December too Janie!!


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## Fin (Aug 23, 2004)

Hi Jane

My week is getting worse as it goes along.

Do not think I will make it to test day on Thursday as I had a bout of dihorea (probably spelt wrong) again this morning and to be honest I always get it at the start of AF and I have AF cramps today.  When I went to the loo this morning there was no bleed but I have just been again and there is a slight brown discharge on my panties.  I really can feel AF so think that's it for us it is all over.

I am sat here in tears, did I do everything I could, what if I did not do that drive with work?  

I know I have not been positive enough and feel like perhaps the extra stress I put on myself has let us down.

How the hell am I going to tell DH? He is going to be devastated as he was so sure that it had worked.

Catch you later.

Lol

Fin xxx


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## janie77 (Jun 3, 2006)

Fin   

I have been feeling exactly the same - that AF is just around the corner, the knicker checking started yesterday and I have got to the stage where I am terrified of going to the loo.

Don't give up hunny, its ain't over yet and I know lots of people who have had little bleeds and AF symptoms and still went on to get a BFP.  I am thinking of you and sending you a massive cyber hug  

Please try not to beat yourself up about not being positive enough, you are only human and we are all the same, its so bloody hard to stay positive all the time and the extra stress of the treatment is going to affect us all no matter what.

I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better,  please try and stay strong, I know thats easier said than done because I am struggling myself but AF symptoms can be the same as pregnancy symptoms.

       

Jane xxx


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## ♥Saila♥ (Mar 27, 2006)

Fin I have heard of a lot of women who also get diahorrea in early pregnancy and there are also the ones who get constipated.

I also read really deeply into possible pregnancy symptoms, I can't tell you the amount of times I have trawled the internet hunting for anything remotely similar to what I am feeling or any indication I could be pg. 

Don't get upset   I really don't think the drive with work will of affected you sweetheart.


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## frani (Nov 15, 2006)

Hi Janie

I have been following your 2WW diary as it has been a great inspiration to me - I too have felt fairly in control during these 2 weeks but since Sunday have been going completely loopy (I'm usually the boringly sensible one  ) I was basted on the 21st Nov so in theory should be testing tomorrow but am going to try and wait til Fri when I work from home(as long as AF holds off  )as I know I will be a complete mess at work if I get a BFN. Yesterday morning slight AF cramps started and continued all day - I was convinced this was the end and by the time I got to the car at the end of the day I was in tears - my DH was soo sweet and tried to swamp me with truckloads of choccies. Woke up this morning and still no sign of AF and have still had slight AF pains all day today with backache - so I am taking this as a positive sign as a lot of ladies report AF signs which lead to BFP(I need something to grasp onto reality - even my boss thinks I'm losing the plot!)  as my AF usually turns up within 12 hrs of cramps. And yes, the knicker checking started yesterday as well, up and down like a yo yo to the loo  pains but no AF arrival (which is unusual for me as it usually turns up within 12 hrs of AF cramps). 

So hold on in there and am thinking of you with lots of BFP vibes    - yo really deserve it

Dear Fin - keep on in there, it aint finished til the fat lady sings - I know this whole things sends us all round the bend. Sending you lots of baby dust

All the best 2wwers - lets try and hang on to our marbles for a bit longer   

frani xx


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## janie77 (Jun 3, 2006)

Hello my fellow 2ww buddies  

Fin - how are you doing?  I have been thinking of you all day, I hope you are ok.  Hang on in there  

Frani - Hi.  I'm glad my diary has been helpful, although I'm not sure how as it all seems a bit negative to me    Sounds as though you have been just like me, very calm and positive and then lost the plot a few days ago.  This waiting is so hard isn't it?  I'll be thinking of you on Friday, its probably a good idea to hold off testing if you can.  I'm worried about being at work on Thursday if I get a BFN as I really don't know how I'll cope.

Sorry to hear that you were upset yesterday, but glad your DH is being supportive and looking after you.  I have AF pains too, but I am trying to stay as positive as possible and not read too much into all the symptoms.  I have been having a really tough few days emotionally but I feel a lot better today.

Anyway I must hit the sack, I cant believe I'm up this late as I promised myself I would have an early night.

Got my fingers crossed for both of you         

Jane xxx


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## ♥Saila♥ (Mar 27, 2006)

One more day Janie!!               

Good Luck Girls


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## Fin (Aug 23, 2004)

Morning Ladies,

Update on me is I think that all the praying for AF not to come yesterday was in vain.

Woke up this morning at 4am and thought I was in the clear when I went to the loo and saw nothing on panties but when I wiped I got a brown staining on the tissue. It's a perfect brown (not red at all) in fact it looks just like the colour of poo (sorry for TMI). I have put a pad on my nickers just in case but have not got any on there only every time I wipe and then it tends to be about the size of a 10p to £2 coin each time and does not seem heavy.

I have never had this colour bleed on af before but have to prepare myself for the fact that it is'nt looking good. Feel quite calm actually and that has shocked me also as I was a blubbering wreck yesterday with just a slight bleed and now today I have more bleed I seem calm with it.

Still holding a little hope that I will get a BFP tomorrow but know now that I have to be realistic.

Sorry for the all me post but just wanted to update you guys.

Thank you for all of your support.

Lol

Fin xxx

              
[fly]*Please Lord help us have a BFP!!!*[/fly]


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## janie77 (Jun 3, 2006)

Morning Fin

This sounds like its very unusual for you - maybe it's not over    I have heard of lots of people having odd little bleeds and still getting a BFP.  In fact my friend bled quite a lot thoughout her entire pregnancy and her little girl was 2 on Monday.

I honestly don't know what this could be but the fact that you have never had it before could mean that its a positive thing.  Try to hang in there, I know you are trying to be realistic but it ain't over yet.  I have verything crossed for you 

             

As for me, I have pretty bad AF pains today and a bad headache and the spore (.)(.) are back with a vengeance, these are all usually signs that AF is about to start.  The frantic knicker watch has started.  I woke up this morning convinced that my period had stared and was too scared to get out of bed and go to the loo. This is such a hard time.  In fact I am now starting to wonder if I should hold off testing until Friday, I know that sounds crackers as I have been wanted to test for days but now I am terrified of seeing yet another BFN.  I guess if AF hasn't arrived by tomorrow I might think about holding off until Friday, but to be honest I think the nasty old witch is imminent.

Frani - How are you doing    

Sailaice - thanks for the good luck wishes.

                          

Thinking of you girls xxx


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## Fin (Aug 23, 2004)

Hi Janie,

Hang in there a lot of the diaries I have read people have had af symptoms and sore boobs and then went on to have a BFP, it's not over yet!

Thinking of you and hoping you have a BFP!!!

Lol

Fin xxx


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Good luck for tomorrow  

          

Take care
Natasha x


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## janie77 (Jun 3, 2006)

Thanks Natasha xx

Have had a word with DH and if AF hasn't arrived by the morning I am going to hold off testing until Friday.  As he says, if we get a BFN tomorrow AF hasn't arrived then I'll want to test again on Friday anyway.


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Jane good luck for testing tomorrow xxxxxx

Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Fin (Aug 23, 2004)

Janie,

Good luck for whatever day you test.

It does'nt look good for us I'm afraid.  The bleeding has increasd and has now turned from brown to dark red and I have a really bad pain down below also.

Will still do the test tomorrow just as a final chapter to inform the clinic but we already know what the outcome is going to be and it's not good.

I'm handling it reasonably well and just had the attitude that we'll try again in the New Year but DH has come home and just looking at him makes me realise how devastaded he is and it is tearing me apart as he won't let me reach out to him and has just clammed up and says he does'nt want to talk about it at all.

Hopefully after we have been to the clinic for our follow up he will feel better from talking to the Doctor and realise that we can move forward from this.  I love him so much.

Sorry for the rant.

Catch up with you tomorrow.

Good luck again.

Lol

Fin xxx


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## Lisa3745 (Jul 30, 2004)

Fin please don't give up just yet, I also had heavy bleeding from about day 10 of my last 2ww and thought it was all over but got a BFP. So you never know. I bled well into the pregnancy and was given cyclogest by the bucket load and it all turned out alright. I am now trying a FET but like you I've got to the point where I feel it hasn't worked as it feels so different from the time I had a BFP.

loads of hugs and positive thoughts !
Lx


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## frani (Nov 15, 2006)

Evening Janie

All is well so far with the evil AF staying away - am still getting these weird AF type pains (more sensations really than pain) and am now getting sore (.)(.) which I never get with my AF so am taking these all as good signs  - have to be    for Friday. How are you feeling today - hope all is going well and you are sleeping better. Have you decided to test tomorrow or Friday? Its a hard one - but I know if I do it tomorrow and its bad news, I will be a mess at work. Watching the BBC Fertility programme last night made me feel so much better - all these ladies going through this emotional rollercoasters with happy endings at the end - you see, there is always hope   . All the best for tomorrow if you do take the pee plunge  

Hi Fin - how are you feeling - you mustn't give up hope, it sounds a bit like implantation bleeding if the colour is brown, keeping everything crossed for you tomorrow.
byee 
frani x


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## janie77 (Jun 3, 2006)

Hi Fin, 

Please don't give up hope yet, I know that is easier said than done.  I am willing you to be pregnant and have everything crossed for you, I will say a little prayer for us girls tonight.  Am thinking of you so much     for testing tomorrow, make sure you let us know  

Hi Frani,

I still have the AF pains too, I was totally convinced on several occasions today that my period had started, but so far so good.  I think its a good sign that you have sore (.)(.) as you don't normally get this.  I have decided that if AF has not arrived by the morning then I am going to test on Friday, I know this must sound bonkers but I feel really calm about it all of a sudden  .  I do keep thinking that my period is about to start and then think that it hasn't worked but you just never know.  Our fate has already been decided, we just don't know the outcome yet.  So, roll on Friday hey?     , thinking of you and fingers crossed fro a BFP for us all  

Jane xxx

PS - thanks to everyone for all the good wishes


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## KatyLouLou (Apr 3, 2006)

Janie

                     

You are in my thoughts, wanted to send you lots of positive and good luck vibes

Love Kathryn xxx


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## Fin (Aug 23, 2004)

Morning Ladies,

So, sorry to let you know that as expected it was a   this morning.

I held myself together until DH went to work so that I could show him I am ok and he actually opened up and said that he feels really disapointed and gutted but we will be ok.   

As soon as he left I just broke down, I cannot believe how hard this is and am really doubting if we will ever get that baby we so desperately desire.  We only have a limited amout of sperm so time is not really on our side.

I'm going to see if I can see the Doctor as soon as possible so that we can try again as soon as but in the meantime I am going to take the next few weeks off work in the run up to Christmas as I tend to be away at least a couple of nights a week and feel I need to be here with DH for the time being for us to have some us time to recover together.    

Janie - I will be thinking of you and sending you all of my remaining positive energy for tomorrow.

Never mind perhaps next time will be 3rd time lucky, at least we got further this time than last time.

Lol

Fin xxx


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## ♥Saila♥ (Mar 27, 2006)

I am so sorry about your BFN Fin


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## strawbs (May 16, 2005)

Fin sorry about your bfn   

janie good luck for testing whether you decide to do it today or tomorrow, fingers crossed!

strawbs xx


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## janie77 (Jun 3, 2006)

Fin, I am so very sorry to hear your news, I wish I knew what to say to you but I know there is nothing, just want to let you know that I am thinking of you   

Jane xxx


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## Spaykay (Nov 29, 2006)

Sorry about your results Fin. Hope you're feeling strong. Big kisses

Kay xxx


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Fin sorry to hear of your BFN - dont give up hope

Kate xx​


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