# 2 Prospective Fathers Journey to Adoption



## Journey to Become 2 Dads (Jul 15, 2015)

Hey,

Have spent the last few days reading some of your diary blogs which are all very informative and interesting    Thought it would be a nice idea to create my own from the perspective a male same sex couple to help any other couples out there that are interested and/or thinking of going down the adoption route.

I'll call myself Steve and my husband John. We have been together now for several years and are married with stable living circumstances. After a few years of being surrounded by plenty of nephews and nieces, we feel the time is right to start our own journey to our own family.

Adoption just feels right for us. We fully understand that the child(ren) that we would seek to adopt are almost certain to require more care and TLC that a birth child given their likely less than stellar start in life. However, after lots of research and consideration, we know we can provide the ideal home for such a child.

Anyhow, we are at the beginning of our journey. Having looked at both LA and VA options, we recently approached a VA mainly due to the post adoption aftercare they offer and our assumption that as they focus more on the adoption process in itself.  To date, we have read the provided information booklet and had a brief chat on the phone and next week we will have our initial home visit which will determine whether we get the coveted "Registration of Interest" form to complete. 

We are nervous yet confident. Both ready for what is hopefully yet to come so I will keep you all posted as to how it goes


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

Welcome and good luck with your journey


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## Emma-is-a-mummy (Jan 16, 2012)

Welcome and good luck with your journey. 

One of my closest friends I have made since starting our journey is daddy from dad and daddy and our boys are great friends and the support we provide each other with is amazing.

Wishing you the best of luck and any questions feel free to ask and I'll help as best I can. Xx


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## Journey to Become 2 Dads (Jul 15, 2015)

Thank you both 

How long have you had your boys for? We are hoping to adopt either one boy or a sibling pair. I no doubt will end up picking your brain with a few questions as the process moves along  x


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## Emma-is-a-mummy (Jan 16, 2012)

I just have the one boy and so does my friend we have had them for 2 years now they where both placed within a day of each other so we have lots in common. 
Our lo was 10 months old when he came home and my friends was 18months. 

Pick away  xx


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## Tw1nk82 (Dec 5, 2012)

Just wanted to wish you both luck on your journey xx


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## Journey to Become 2 Dads (Jul 15, 2015)

So we had our initial home meeting yesterday which lasted 3 hours! I was expecting it to be about 2 hours but the time actually flew by and even this morning, I am struggling to remember large parts of what we covered over the 3 hour period as it all feels like such a blur.

What I can say is that the appointment seemed to go very well. Our social worker was a very friendly lady who was very chatty and was constantly responding to our conversation and questions and definitely made us both feel at ease pretty much straight away.  We spoke about why we wanted to adopt and also why now felt like the right time. We confirmed that we have both desired having a family for many years and now that we have been together for several years and everything in our lives feels as stable as it can be that now is a good a time as any.

By the end, she confirmed that she is of the opinion that we should progress to stage 1 by submitting the Registration of Interest but will officially confirm this in the next few days once she has filed her report with her manager. So, we are feeling confident of progressing, just can't wait to be given the official green light and go ahead with completing the Registration of Interest form 

My only slight concern was when discussing previous relationships and possibly contacting them. I had one which ended about 7 years ago which was initially amicable and we remained friends. However, once I was in my current relationship, the friendship ended badly for various reasons so I would worry about my ex giving a vindictive reference should they be contacted.  I was reading some other posts which suggest I may be able to offer an alternative reference who knew both my and my ex during the time of that relationship so I may suggest that as an alternative.

Anyhow, I will keep you updated with our progress


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Welcome, and good luck!  

Wyxie xx


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## Journey to Become 2 Dads (Jul 15, 2015)

Thanks Wyxle and having read your recent thread, I hope things get better for you real soon 

Got confirmation that we can submit our Registration of Interest. I was confident this would be the case but still felt nervous when I got the call to say so. Stage 1 here we come!


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## Journey to Become 2 Dads (Jul 15, 2015)

Finally got around to completing the Registration of Interest forms which certainly had us both putting our thinking caps on trying to remember all of the addresses we have lived at since birth. I knew most of them but there were a couple of addresses from my university days I could not remember but thankfully I was able to track them down )

Got dates for our first of 2 batches of training which will be next month. Just got to wait for confirmation now we can book our medicals and access to the online e-learning portal and get properly stuck into our journey towards Stage 2.


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## Journey to Become 2 Dads (Jul 15, 2015)

So, finally received letter which officially confirms we are now in Stage 1 for the next 2 months. We have completed our DBS forms which are ready to send now and have completed the medical forms in preparation for booking our medical appointments which we intend to do in the next week. 

The most daunting part was the worksheets we have been asked to work through over the next 2 months. To say there is a LOT of work to do would be an understatement!!!! I feel kinda relieved that we do actually have 2 months to completed it and it feels akin to when I was at university contemplating the start of my dissertation  

Myself and DH were talking about it last and we are going to focus on one of the six modules each week. In a way, we are looking forward to working our way through them as it will encourage both of us to forensically dig deep through our own lives and pasts and reminisce about our own childhoods and experiences. 

One question that I used to ponder was how a social worker during stage to could possibly have enough questions and conversational points to fill say 15-20 hours. Having seen the worksheets, I certainly no longer expect that to be an issue, if anything, there will be so much content to now fill into the Stage 2 sessions


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