# Day 10 of 2ww and obsessed with my (.)(.)s!!!



## rikschick (Aug 29, 2007)

Hi ladies!! 
Well, as you can see I test on Mon, and after keeping reasonably calm so far, I have now gone crazy!  My (.)(.)s have been noticeably bigger throughout the whole of the 2ww - I know this can be a symptom of the cyclogest. They also always get bigger after I ovulate every month. The problem is I am examining them all the time to see if they are unusually big/ painful/ more veiny and spent a ridiculous time this morning in front of the mirror    When I am not looking at them, I am poking them to see if they still feel tender (which might beome embarrassing when I am out in public!! ). DH also keeps getting them shoved in his face so I can ask his opinion (although he is not complaining! ).
So, anyone else like me or am I just bonkers! (Trying so hard to stay away from the evil pee sticks early! )
Love to all and any advice welcome! 
xxxx


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## tigersplat (Jul 20, 2007)

hi

i am just the same i test on tuesday and im obsessed with my boob's, they seems bigger and sore but then they were last time and then i got a BFN, they are veiny as well, were they before....i dont know i never paid that much attention to them

I stupidly did a test yesterday and it was a BFN, way to early, so that freaked me out 


i am going mad i have no other symptoms and keep crying 

Two of us are a right pair

wishing you lots of positive vibes and fingers crossed for the both of us

xxxxxxxxxx


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## Be Be (Jan 25, 2008)

Keep away from the pee sticks until it's time hun.!!!

Could be a good sign, I hope so, wait until correct time to test not before!!! and you might get a very pleasant surprise, I did and I hope you do too.  

Try not to read too much into things and just wait and see,

Wishing you love majic and another little miracle x x x x x x x


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## Angel15 (Jan 22, 2008)

Oh My Goodness,  I thought I was the only one. 

Everything you have done, Im doing.

Even gave my mum a quick look at them at the weekend and she buckled up with laughter and reminded me
it doesnt happen over night.

We are steadily going mad.

Angel xx


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## Celeste (Nov 15, 2007)

Hate to rain on your parade and really do wish you a BFP but I had Sam Fox boobs for the first and only time in my life during my 2WW (I'm an A-cup!), but was a BFN, stopped taking progesterone the day of the negative test and 2 days later boobs had disappeared!

Just enjoy them (DH too!) but look out for other symptoms.


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## rikschick (Aug 29, 2007)

Oh you wonderful ladies!! So, we are all guilty of it!!!    Have yet again carried out my morning ritual of examination and poking/ squeezing!

Tigersplat - mine feel the same as last time (I think), but like you - don't really know if they are more veiny than normal   Have you done another test today? I have tried really hard to stay away from them. If it is a BFN, then I would just be devastated and not trust what it says anyway (as it may be too early), if it was a BFP, I would still worry that something would happen before test date. Having said that, I may well give into temptation  . Sorry to hear you have been crying. Hang on in there - sending you lots of    

Be Be - so pleased about your BFP. Well done! Thank you for spreading a little more of your magic with us!! 

Angel - you are not the only one! I have though about showing my BF who has had two children if they look like pregnant (.)(.)s to her!  How sweet of your mum! When do you test? 

Celeste - thank you for your words of warning! 

Nice to meet you ladies and lots of   to us all. I will keep checking this thread and will have fingers crossed for lots of good news.  

Lots of love xxxx


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## tigersplat (Jul 20, 2007)

hi 

yes  i am still going mad and poking and prodding them, i cant beleive that if miricles are happening down there....why cant i feel anything

hoping and praying that all our dreams come true 

i haven't done another test....will not give in and im testing in the morning on Tuesday before the test at the hospital 

xxx


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## rikschick (Aug 29, 2007)

Hi Tigersplat - well done for not doing a test yesterday. Hang on in there! Only Sun, and Mon morns for you - then test on Tue. 

Like you I am not having any symptoms and I even think my (.)(.)s are a bit samller today . Quite bad AF pains too. 

I am wishing so hard for both of us xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## mary11 (Oct 16, 2007)

Hi Rikschick,

I've been on (.)(.) watch for days too. Concerned as yesterday morning when I got up I discovered they had deflated overnight, and were no longer sore either. Was taking this as a bad sign, but trying to get some of the positivity back and convincing myself they were bigger & sore because of stimming drugs & hcg which have now left my system.

Fingers crossed we both get a BFP! Lots of luck   

Marie


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## rikschick (Aug 29, 2007)

Hi Marie - glad you too are part of the (.)(.) watch gang!! Mine too still feel a bit deflated - still poking them - even if they weren't sore, they sure will be by the time I've finished! 

Hi Tigersplat - how are you today? 

Hi Angel - hope all is well with you!

Well, it's the big day for me tomorrow -will post on here when I know. We are going to the Hospital to test - not brave enough to do it ourselves. Really feel like AF is gonna arrive - hope not  

Lots of love and   to us all (will keep checking this thread for your news)xxxxx


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## mary11 (Oct 16, 2007)

Keeping everything crossed for you Rikschik. Hope you get your BFP tomorrow. I have 4 more days to wait - testing on Thursday. Bleeding a bit at the moment so praying it's not all over.

Marie


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## tigersplat (Jul 20, 2007)

well i think its over for us, had some brownish discharge yesterday at around 9ish and today it has continued and now it is turning red

feel so ****, when will it be our turn, supposed to be back at work tomorrow and really not up to going

Not going to even bother testing on Tues and will wait for the bad news when we go to the clinic

Hope you get a BFP tomoorrow - Rickschick 

Good luck for your test - Marie

a very sad tigersplat

xxxi


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## rikschick (Aug 29, 2007)

Hi Tigersplat - I know that spotting can be worrying, but nurses I have seen say that this is perfectly normal. Don't lose hope yet xxxxx

As for me, we had a BFP this morning at the clinic!! I am in a state of shock as had really terrible AF pains so was convinced it was over. As you can see we have been in this situtaion before so are still very wary/ anxious/ nervous. Fingers crossed our little bubba stays with us this time. 

Hope this good news spreads to the rest of you on this thread. 

Tigersplat, Marie and Angel - sending you lots of  

xxxxx


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## tigersplat (Jul 20, 2007)

omg.... what wonderful news ...congratalations. you have made me cry its so lovely when women get BFP because it gives all of us hope that our time will come

You take it easy and look after your precious cargo

i am still haveing brown discharge and with tiny spots of blood, just phoned the proiry and they are going to ring me back, i am still have the pessaries and wonder whether they are stoppping my full period starting.

Love to you both and congtatualations again


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tigersplat


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## rikschick (Aug 29, 2007)

Hi Tigersplat - I too am at the Priory. Are you going in for the test tomorrow or doing it from home? My AF started last time anyway - the pessaries didn't stop it. 

I am wishing so hard for you tomorrow - good luck  
xxxxxxxxxxx


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## Celeste (Nov 15, 2007)

rikschick said:


> As for me, we had a BFP this morning at the clinic!!


CONGRATULATIONS! Looks like your boobs knew what was going on with you before everyone else did! Look after yourself!


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## Angel15 (Jan 22, 2008)

TS

We are so over the moon for you, wow, your going to be a mummy 

           

Angel x


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## mary11 (Oct 16, 2007)

Have replied to your post on Peer support, but CONGRATULATIONS again!!! I'm really pleased for you.

Tigersplat - Praying that it's not bad news for you. I'm still spotting too, but mostly brown/very dark red. Fingers crossed we both get our BFPs. Will keep everything crossed for you for tomorrow.   

Marie


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## tigersplat (Jul 20, 2007)

thank you both

Rickschick - i am going to the clinic tomorrow at 10, wow we were in the same clinic all the time....

I feel in my heart that its all over

Been thinkin of you and i bet your over the moon, i hope your celebrating tonight, and all the obsessing over your (.)(.) was worth it

Marie  - fingers crossed for you


xxxxxx

Tigersplat


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## mary11 (Oct 16, 2007)

Tigersplat - I'm heading down the same road as you hun. The bleeding is a bit heavier and I've also got bright red blood now. I think that's it for us.

Marie


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## rikschick (Aug 29, 2007)

Tigersplat - thinking and praying for you this morning xxxx  

Marie - the nurse told me that some spotting/ bleeding was very common, but I know how awful the waiting us, so just wanted to send you  

Angel - are you testing tomorrow?

Lots and lots of love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## tigersplat (Jul 20, 2007)

well it's definitely over for us, the nurse was desperately trying to see a another line on the test, but no amount of wishful thinking would make it appear.

Obviously feel gutted i did so much this time i drank a pint of full fat milk everyday of my treatment ugh, gave up tea, coffee, chocolate, takeaway food for months, only ate organic, regular acupuncture....and all for nothing. Don't know what to do now..

I feel when will we get a break, this all started when my DH was diagnosed with cancer in 2005, we had only been married 5 years and i always wanted my career before children and never thought things would turn out like this. i will always regret never trying for children and will never know whether i could have conceived naturally.

The nurse was great and tried to perk me up, on the bright side we did freeze 3 embryos at least we have them.

Come back home and my AF now in full flow....talk about rubbing it in.

Marie - i hope that you have better news tomorrow, i still believed deep down it may have worked right up until that BFN, and it wasn't meant for us, but fingers crossed for you

Rickchick  - thanks 

Tigersplat

xx xxx


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## mary11 (Oct 16, 2007)

So sorry to hear your news Tigersplat. Ifeel the same as you - have done everything I could with eating those disgusting brazil nuts, staying off alcohol, chocolate etc and for what? I know I can't be 100% sure it's failed yet, and like you I still have a tiny flicker of hope, but I'm bleeding heavier now and its much more red blood so I can't see that I'll get anything but a negative now.

Please don't blame yourself for your life & career choices - we can all do that but it won't change anything and may not have made any difference anyway. I know it's difficult but try not to dwell on the if onlys and maybes. You can never know what may have happened if....

I'm glad you have some frosties - we were not lucky enough to get any. Will be keeping fingers crossed that they are successful for you in the very near future.

Take care of yourself, and thanks for the support. I'll post on here on Thursday and let you know for definate once the fat lady has finally sung.

Marie


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## Celeste (Nov 15, 2007)

tigersplat said:


> I feel when will we get a break, this all started when my DH was diagnosed with cancer in 2005, we had only been married 5 years and i always wanted my career before children and never thought things would turn out like this. i will always regret never trying for children and will never know whether i could have conceived naturally.
> 
> The nurse was great and tried to perk me up, on the bright side we did freeze 3 embryos at least we have them.
> Tigersplat
> xx xxx


So sorry for you. I know it doesn't help to tell you this but you mustn't have regrets about the way you've lived your life and conducted your affairs: concentrating on your career will put you in a great place in financially and in terms of emotionally security when those little frosties develop into your own baby.

It's hard to see that things happen for a reason, but look at things this way: you were able to dedicate yourself to your DH during his battle against cancer which you may not have found as easy to do with a baby to look after... and imagine the extra worry and stress your DH would have felt, when diagnosed, about fears of leaving a little baby behind in the world.

Life's certainly treated you badly, but you survived cancer and you'll survive this disappointment too, together.

Good luck for future!


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## rikschick (Aug 29, 2007)

Hi Tigersplat - so sorry to hear your news   I was hoping and praying for you. As Celeste says, you and your DH have been through so much you will get through this. You still have those three precious embies waiting until you are ready to try again. 
       
Thinking of you xxxxxxxxx


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## mary11 (Oct 16, 2007)

Hi!

Just to let you know we got our BFN this morning as expected.

Marie


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## tigersplat (Jul 20, 2007)

i'm so sorry Marie, it all seems so unfair

ive spent the past 3 days crying my heart out and today im feeling a little bit more positive and trying to pick myself up and try and look towards trying again in 3-4 months. 

my thoughts are with you, we are all amazing women on this website and our time will come

love to you both 

Tigersplat 

xxxxxxx


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## rikschick (Aug 29, 2007)

Oh Marie. I am so sorry for you.  I know that nothing anyone can say at this stage will make you feel any better.  All I can do is send lots of     As Tigersplat says, we are all amazingly brave and strong women. You will move on from this. After my last failed cycle, I didn't think I could ever do it again. 

Tigersplat - I think it is good that you have been properly grieving. I hope that you continue to feel more positive. 

Ladies, here is a link to when I posted after my negative cycle. It took me a while to deal with it, but I just thought it might be helpful to read - to let you know I know what you are both going through xxxx

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=112518.0


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## Celeste (Nov 15, 2007)

Sorry Mary.  Take your time to grieve but remember that your time will come.  I was broken up by our own BFN at the end the December, but here I am now, excited as anything, about to embark on our second cycle.


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## tigersplat (Jul 20, 2007)

hi

Rickschick - that post was really moving and i does give me a lot of hope. Looking at your history it wasn't that long ago and how things have changed for you. I wish you lots of good health for your pregnancy and happiness when you finally meet your gorgous Bundle(s)

I think you are right that we all need to grieve, From work we have access to free counselling and yesterday i took a brave step and rang the helpline who in turn have now put me in touch with a female counsellor. I am entitled to 6 free sessions and i feel this will benefit me because i have never really talked about the cancer, the infertility issues and how it has effected our lives to anyone properly on a professional level. So hopefully i can deal with all this stuff that goes on in my head and the fear that i might never become a mum.

i was listening to Radio 1 today on theie changing tracks, which is someones true story of their life and how they have survived an awful event in their life. The story wasn't anything to do with fertility but of a woman who had never given up and kept on fighting so finally her life changed . This may sound silly but i was crying but at the same time she gave me hope and then every song that came on seemed to be telling me to not give in and there are choices/options i just need to look hard for them and i will fight and find the strenghth to carry one because we deserve it. 

i hope that all our dreams come true.

Tigersplat 

xx

i


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## rikschick (Aug 29, 2007)

Hi Tigersplat - the counselling sounds a really good idea. I very nearly signed myself up for some too, last time. I think the thing to remember is that while, yes, ultimately we all have to be brave and strong and get on with life, we must realise that it is also ok to have times when we don't - when we say, this is unfair, it's painful, how can I carry on, why me? I think the counselling will give you a chance to do all of that.

There is a Priory thread running - the ladies on it are lovely. It's under the ICSI chit chat, but there are both IVFers and ICSI girls on there. Lots of us have had at least one or more failed cycles. When you are feeling stronger, come and join us. We can support you through your Frozen Embie transfer xxxx

Here is the link
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=119131.240

Marie  

Angel - any news?

xxxx


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## mary11 (Oct 16, 2007)

Hi,

Just a quick one to let you know DP took the day off today and we had a lovely day in Rock (Cornwall) - lunch then a walk on the beach (it's been beautiful weather) and lots of time to talk. We've decided to try again in the summer - our last try as we can't afford to go through it any more. I feel much more positive now (although obviously still very sad) as I know we still have another chance.

Thanks again for all your support. Don't know what I would have done without all the lovely ladies on here to give me so much support & advice.

Marie


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## rikschick (Aug 29, 2007)

Hi Marie - glad you were able to spend some quality time with your DH. Glad too, that you will be cycling again in the summer. I wish you all the very best and will be keeping an eye out to follow how you are getting on. 

Take care  
x


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## anna the third (Jan 15, 2008)

i too am convinced it is negative as i have all the symptoms of crashing progesterone levels (ie what one normally has as pms).....

now looking into autoimmune issues as we dont have time to waste (im 39) and im terrified it could be something completlely different from what im being treated for...


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