# Unsure



## Charlie5 (Aug 2, 2007)

Hi everyone hope your ok

Just need to get this out I feel like I'm at a cross roads in my life.. I have given ICSI 4 goes 2 preganancies both mc and 2 negatives unsure what to do now . 

Feel I'm torn between giving tx another go or adoption how do you let go? I have known 3 people from FF all in the same situation as me all now pregnant one just had twins so now I'm grasping at the idea I should give tx another go ? Will have to put more money on Credit Card or remortgage the house. Or SW coming to our house tomorrow to start adoption process which seems like a good idea as well. How confusing don't know what to do for the best. How do I decide ?? Will I regret not giving tx one more go ?? Please could you tell me your stories if you have had to make such a difficult decision. 

Thank you so much


----------



## Montagne (Nov 27, 2008)

Hi Charlie

Didn't want to read and run and not sure I can be of any help as my decision was made for me by my own body....I had no choice but to give up treatment, DH was not keen on adoption and I wasn't keen on donor options. I do remember though a counsellor that I spoke to on the phone (she was from the clinic we used) saying that whenever I was ready it would be important to talk through the options with a counsellor so that I knew whichever option we went for would be our choice and so that we would know how to fight for it, because any option (remaining childfree, adoption, donor etc ) would be a fight......I think she was right and so I fight on for our decision of remaining childfree. 

You are in a really difficult place at the moment and I don't have any answers, but do know that when I finally went to see a counsellor they helped me see things from different points of view and not feel as if my life was so out of my control......

I know that you will find the right way, stay strong...

S
x


----------



## Minni (Dec 11, 2007)

Hi Charlie

Just to send you a  .  I'm not sure I can help but just wanted to say you're not alone.  I think many of us on this thread are probably here because we can't really accept that it's the end yet!  Myself and DH have supposedly made the decision but I am still always wondering if it was the right thing to stop tx.... Other life events sort of took over and forced it really but it's not an easy place to be whatever the circumstance.

Good luck hon

Minni x


----------



## Charlie5 (Aug 2, 2007)

Thank you Montagne and Minni for your quick replies you have been very supportive and helpful I'm still fighting a battle in my head looking to see how much remortgaging would cost over weekend and if it's going to be too stressful will prob change my mind set   you both seem so strong  Good luck to you both  
Sarahxxxx


----------



## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

In my opinion I'd say go for adoption. Your anxiety and worry just reminds me of all the turmoil I went through with the blasted tx. And by the time we came to the end of it - we just felt too exhausted to go through the adoption process (which lets face it is pretty taxing). So I'd say conserve your energy and go for adoption - and a child at the end of it. Also when the SW visits I advise you not to discuss your ambivalence with her – I have heard that they do not like to take on couples who are still undergoing IVF tx. But I do recommend chatting through it with a counseller.
Good luck with it.
Bernie x


----------



## janeo1 (Sep 27, 2006)

Just wanted to add that only you can make this decision, only you know deep in your heart of hearts whats right for you. 
It is a hard choice to make I know.  Bernie is right in what she says, with adoption  there is there is a child at the end. Are you worried in case you spend rest of your life wondering what if? 
Its a hard decision to make thats for sure.  If you are unsure perhaps it would be best to take a bit more time to think things through before you commit  yourself to adoption process. I think this will be an issue that SW does cover with you. 
You & DH have some serious soul searching ahead of you.  I am a great believer in go with your gut instinct but appreciate its not always that easy.  Just wanted to wish you good luck with whatever you decide.


----------



## Charlie5 (Aug 2, 2007)

Thank you Jane and Bernie for your replies Bernie you have been through so much how are you feeling? 

I'm still wondering whats best think it's because I find it so hard to give up (Capricorn) I normally keep on going till I get what I strive for hence the Degree but this is harder !!!!

Love 
Sarahxxx


----------



## Charlie5 (Aug 2, 2007)

Hi all hope you are ok

Well just come bck from seeing the specialist after asking him questions such as ....... does he think I should carry on ? ......in which he replied...." it's hard to say but you didnt overstimulate even with a very high dose of stims."  "Do you want to stimulate your ovaries again? " ....... On this tretment I got 7 eggs and 4 fertilised with 2 embies put back no frosties.
He has suggested a test called A M H to see how many eggs my ovaries produce could be low medium or high. He suggests if the test results come back as bottom low to low that he would not bother going ahead with tx again.  Gxd this is sooooooooooooo hard I felt I could do it again when first went into clinic but came out wanting to baal my eyes out. Feel so confused   going for bllod test mon then a 2 week wait to find out. Anybody else had this test ?? 

Thanks for reading best of luck with your dreams
Sarahxxxx


----------

