# Our Darkest Hour!!!!!! IMPORTANT



## Anthony Reid (Jan 1, 2002)

Dear All,

It is with sadness that I write to you, in perhaps what could be claimed – the world’s darkest hour. 

Tonight, as the sun loses its grip and falls magnificently from the sky….. Thousands of midget monsters, midget witches and midget ghosts will cast their moonlit shadows across the entire earth. 

What do they want? – you may ask yourself……..word on the street is that they will be looking for ‘e’ numbers. These are secret ingredients hidden deep within confectionery. 

And the dangers? The dangers are clear – too many of these ‘e’ numbers and the world will enter a state of pandemonium. Too little – and…. Well – the consequences are too dire to think about.

“We need a plan of action” – I hear you say! “Tony - we need you as leader” you cheer!  

“Help us in this darkest hour – save us from the midget monsters!”

OK.. OK… I’ll help you and provide guidance.

Friends, people of the earth, gather round – listen to my whispers; they are important and may well be the only thing that can save us now.

1st Rule. 
Do not be afraid my friends – it’s what they want and they will thrive on your fear.

2nd Rule. 
They are very tricky, in the shadows they can appear 20 foot tall! This is a trick using torches and shadows – they are not 20ft tall – more like 3ft.

3rd Rule. 
Have enough confectionery. Laxative chocolate will work great – but some of them can read – and they will spot anything that might make them poo themselves.

Don’t ignore my rules – they are important.

Should these midgets obtain a grip on the UK , it is expected that the country wall fall in a coordinated manor. Starting with the big cities first. Friends… at this point you need to listen very carefully… we have a very powerful technique! Many of these midget monsters are too young to cross roads and the best thing you can do is stand on the opposite side of a big road. Eventually they will disappear and you can head back to your homes. Not forgetting to lock all doors and windows! Before and after you leave.

Should the very worst happen, and the sun not rise the next morning, then you should  sit tight in your homes until you are contacted by one of our Fearless Action Rescue Team (F.A.R.T.). 

F.A.R.T. are currently building an international effort to coordinate the rescue of millions of people. 

F.A.R.T. estimate that the first cities to fall will be in the north and therefore have built their stronghold in the South East. I cannot give you exact coordinates – that might blow their cover. But I want to assure you that should things go wrong – then we will be there for you… it might take time to get to you – but you will be rescued.

Please feel free to spread rumours of F.A.R.T. – hopefully it will put the wind up these monsters.

On that note I have to bid you farewell so that I can head off to warn the others.

Good luck my friends.

Until Sunrise, farewell!

Tony


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## Anthony Reid (Jan 1, 2002)

**** INTELLIGENCE REPORT ****

Dear All,

F.A.R.T. have just released a report that identifies a worrying concern. Should you run out of confectionery, you may be asked by the midget witches, monsters and ghosts to show them your bum. This they claim is purely for scientific research - however!!!! please be careful and do not show them your bum... they do not have a genuinie scientific purpose - it has come to light that they only want to look at your bum!!

Regards,

Your leader.

Tony


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## brownowl23 (Jan 3, 2006)

I have a problem here. I have two of my own very midget midget monsters who at present like their sleep but not thier e numbers and their mummy turns into a very big firey dragon if they are awakened by other midgets. How do I handle this other than breathing fire!

The very midget midget monsters mummy doesnt have anything in tonight with e numbers!

The mummy dragon


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)




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## dakota (Feb 6, 2007)

I think someone has already been on the 'E' numbers


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## ❁ BG2007 ❁ (Jun 26, 2007)

brownowl23 said:


> I have a problem here. I have two of my own very midget midget monsters who at present like their sleep but not thier e numbers and their mummy turns into a very big firey dragon if they are awakened by other midgets. How do I handle this other than breathing fire!
> 
> The very midget midget monsters mummy doesnt have anything in tonight with e numbers!
> 
> The mummy dragon


Mummy dragon I think you should put a big sign on your front door saying " F. A. R. T. HQ " that might keep them away (it'd keep me away  )

Tony you are bonkers


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## brownowl23 (Jan 3, 2006)

❁BG2007❁ said:


> brownowl23 said:
> 
> 
> > I have a problem here. I have two of my own very midget midget monsters who at present like their sleep but not thier e numbers and their mummy turns into a very big firey dragon if they are awakened by other midgets. How do I handle this other than breathing fire!
> ...


Ahh I am in the South East so perhaps this IS F.A.R.T HQ and I didnt know it yet


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## Bratt (Sep 21, 2005)

Bring on the midgets.........I'm ready


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## ❁ BG2007 ❁ (Jun 26, 2007)




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## wannabe mum (Sep 25, 2006)




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## weeza82 (Dec 14, 2007)




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## sallywags (Jun 27, 2005)

this has had me laughing out loud at my desk! I'm so going to get sacked....

We will have our own contingent of midget monsters ourselves...and am due to go shopping shortly to make sure we have a suitable supply of E numbers!!

My husband is part of the F.A.R.T team i think...


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

i find wiring the door bell to the mains (electrics not water although both may be fun)  tends to keep them at bay    as does letting your dogs out    

pam xx


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## sallywags (Jun 27, 2005)

A couple of years ago we all dressed up and as my dh is 6 ft 5, dressed as a very scary half good/half evil vicar, he scared the living daylights out of most of the midget monsters!!


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## sallywags (Jun 27, 2005)

Why - does his training involve putting a match to it?!? Wouldn't be so dark then, i suppose!!


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## sallywags (Jun 27, 2005)

WEll it would warm you up, i suppose?!


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)




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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)




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## NuttyJo (Jun 29, 2007)

i wish i had read this last night! crying with laughter


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Tony ..You should def write childrens stories you would be FAB  

I fed e-numbers to zillions of midgets last night  

Cat x


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## Hayleigh (Apr 29, 2008)

Looooooove It!!!!!!


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

Thanks Tony - that is brilliant!!!

Sue


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Charter End of Week Awards 
Nominated by Wraakgodin


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