# Comfort Blankets



## Boggy (Dec 13, 2006)

Hi Ladies

Hoping all you mummies can help me out!  

Over the past few days, Cookie had begun to get very attached to her old blanket - I got her a new duvet last week and she seems fine with it, but she's started dragging her old one around.  I put it away in the wardrobe and she started screaming and dragged it out again replacing it exactly where it was.  She calls it "bed" and loves rolling around with it.  She hasn't tried leaving the house with it yet, and says "bye bye" to it when we go out.  She talks to it as if it was real.

I know she's at that age when the comfort blanket things starts, and with us moving house recently I can understand why (though she'd coped brilliantly with the move). I just want to handle it properly!

Does anyone have any advice - ignore it, encourage it, set boundaries (if so, what?) etc.  My worry is that it isn't a baby blanket - it's a full size cotbed quilt!  

Thanks
Bx


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## Guest (Feb 16, 2009)

I'd put it back on her bed for now - perhaps over her new one if you feel unable to swap them back?  For children the senses are more important than for adults so this quilt will smell and feel right, whereas the new one won't.  

If she has undergone a lot of change recently, she will need the little things to stay the same.  

Our DD2 has a "blankie" - she is getting less attached to him and he did shrink (OK, I admit it, I cut him) in the wash.  However she hates him being washed as he isn't the same - he doesn't smell right or have the same "bogey" bit, from where she has stuffed him up her nose.  She is now 5, but I'm in no rush for him to go as she undergone a lot of change already.  On tricky days he even goes to school in her pocket.  

Hope that helps a little

Bop


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

I have to agree with Bop, put it back on the bed.  DS still has his cot blanket that he brought with him from the FC's house 4 years ago.  He tends to have it folded on his pillow.  He will sometimes hold onto it when he is very tired, although he has never carried it around with him, and it is definitely a comfort item for him. 

Cookie has gone through a few changes recently and maybe she just needs that extra bit of comfort at the moment. 

Best of luck
Cindy


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi

I'd put it back on her bed also for the time being just for comfort.

My DS has a soft lamb teddy, it was the only teddy he had until he moved in with us and now has loads.  However, he talks to this lamb and cuddles it at night/nap time like his life depends on it and he has recently gone through a stage where he wanted to take it everywhere with him.  Obviously this is a smaller item than a cot quilt but fear of it being left behind or getting really dirty from being dropped,  I've managed to convince DS that 'Lambie' stays in bed and waits for him to cuddle at bed time.  He has been ok with this but occassionally tries to take it downstairs.  He also asks for me to kiss it goodnight but I say to him to kiss it as its his teddy.

OT x


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## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

Hello

This post caught my eye - I don't know much about being a parent and especially not about adopted children but I DO know about comfort blankets!      We were an RAF family so we moved A LOT (5 times in the first 5 years of my brothers life for instance) and I had never thought about it before, but that has to explain our rather extreme attachment to comfort items - in my case a panda, but in my brother and sisters cases blankets.  Indeed my brother took the remnants of 'natnee' with him to university and still has them stashed away in a top draw aged 30.  I've never really thought about it before, but I suspect this is rather odd (yes, I do have my panda still, but at least it's a teddy not a rag!!)  However it's never done any of us any harm as far as I can see - we're all quite well adjusted people in stable relationships with plenty of 'normal' interests- so I suspect it was just a way of coping with the extreme changes that my father's job subjected us to, and I suspect that the same could be true of adopted children especially when house moves have also been involved

One rather sensible 'rule' my mum did insist on was that these items didn't go out - obviously they went with us on long journeys or when we were away - but only if we were going to be away overnight.  Her reasoning was that her life wouldn't be worth living if it got lost   and I guess it stopped us embarrassing ourselves as we got 'too old' for these things.

My panda has now retired to a bookshelf as he was becoming fragile, and a new panda (called bear to avoid confusion) has taken his place on the bed.  Interestingly, Winston Churchill still had all his old teddies - he kept them on his study bookshelves propping up where he had taken books out.  If you go to his house (now National Trust) you can see them  

Jx


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## Boggy (Dec 13, 2006)

Hi

Thanks for all your replies  

I had to change her bedding to a duvet because the house we moved to is freezing (can be 13 degrees at bedtime, dodgy heating and is 300 years old).  Her old quilt wasn't warm enough, and she does like her new one, she has no problem going to sleep and feels like a big girl now she has a pillow too.    In the past 3 weeks she's gone from being wrapped in a blanket, held in my arms with a bottle of milk till asleep then put into bed, to having no milk and going into bed awake.  This was all initiated by her and has been really easy - I guess she's decided new house new rules!  

She sees her old blanket as being a plaything for use during the day, usually lying on the floor.  Tonight was the first time she wanted to take it to bed, but quickly forgot about it and left it downstairs. I think I'll not make a habit of it being in her bed, unless she wants it to be.  I had planned to leave the quilt at my mums to use when we stayed there, but won't do that now.  Hopefully I can stop it leaving the house with her too, but she can play with it as much as she likes in the house.

I read on the internet that children with comfort blankets and a secure attachment to their mum (as Cookie does) are better at handling new situations.    

Thanks again
Bx


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## shivster (Jan 17, 2007)

Let her keep it if that's what helps her feel secure. 

As I type my DS is watching Cbeebies with 2 single bed fleece blankets and 3 terry squares and a blue fleece pram blanket.   Some days he just needs his blankets around him! Occasionally he asks for his duvet as well and we tend to say no because of all the rest.


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## Viva (May 16, 2005)

Well, I am the oldest of four, we had a very secure upbringing no major life changes and Mum and Dad still live in our family home, yet we all had 'blankies' of different types and we all sucked our thumbs, and we all dropped them long before it became embarrassing for our age. As the others have said the only thing I would be careful of it is taking it out because of the ramifications of losing it. TBH because balnkets and thumb sucking was so normal to my upbringing, I almost wish that mine did because I can still remember how lovely it was when I was tired! (OK maybe I'm a bit weird!)
Viva
V


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Our DD is now 8 an came to us with a favourtie toy at the age of 9 months of age..............its the most ratty...horrible......disgusting thing I have ever seen BUT DD loves it and every now and then i give it a scrub, put it back on her bed and leave it for her to to snuggle upto!

I wish though that we had 2 of these awful things as it would make life easier as to when I could scrub it!

The main thing is DD loves it and she keeps saying that soon she will just leave it to go in her memory box........thank god she has never asked to take it out of  the house!!


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