# Fostering to adopt sibling



## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

We are going to be doing f2a blossoms full sibling very soon!

All been a whirlwind to be honest and is looking likely he'll be home end of next week (as long as he continues to do well in hospital). 

Just got a couple of questions for those who have or are doing the same!

When blossom came home (6 months old) we were super strict and didn't meet any one for quite a long time (we called it shut down!) also we were extremely firm with the no cuddles etc for a very long time. This has worked wonderfully & we now have a confident little girl who seems to be extremely well attached. My question is do we do the same with little man (who will be just 5 weeks old) to be honest the thought of not socialising with blossom for so long terrifies me! She goes to several clubs etc & sees family regularly. I feel it'll be unfair to her and create negativity about the baby if we do it too long? 
Obviously if he isn't up to popping to granny's etc then we wouldn't go and I'm not talking going the day after he's home lol and prob just for an hour or 2 but we feel very strongly about trying to keep things 'normal' for blossom. 

Any advice would be great! 

2 months ago we were gearing up for moving house-now we're staying put & trying to organise everything for a baby! Crazy & overwhelmed, excited & nervous all at once lol


----------



## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

Ours was 11 weeks when he came home and we didn't really put life on hold. We did spend more time at home initially though just to re settle the older ones to be honest as well as allow me to get organised getting an extra one out the door. So from here no to funnelling - however I was still strict about the no cuddling etc by others. Even though they are young you haven't been their primary carer since birth so I do think they need to know you and your family first.

I actually think this advice holds to a degree for birth children too - my sister didn't let anyone but her and her husband hold baby for the first month - partially a bonding thing and partially exposing them to so many germs at a young age.

Congrats


----------



## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Not having done it but I would agree with tictoc. We couldn't really do the funnelling to full effect as little man was placed 6 days before Christmas so it just wasn't possible without leaving father in law on his own at Christmas the first one since losing his partner. So although we didn't go out and meet lots of friends and family we did see a few. We were extremely strict about the no cuddles and caring though for quite a long time. Little man was 6 months at placement and is now 2 and I would say he's securely attached and a very settled confident little boy. We also met others away from home rather than them coming to us so it just instilled the "family home" bit to him.


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Yes sling him to stop people trying and keep him attached to you when out. Health visitors actually advise against birth parents allowing people to hold etc early in die to attachment which I was impressed to hear so for you I'd say it's more important to hold the line stricter for longer. Congratulations on expecting a new bundle of joy exciting times. Plus a sling will mean hands free to still help blossom who is likely to regress and be super clingy like most kids do regardless of circumstances when a new sibling appears. Xxx


----------



## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

I've just had a baby an I've spent A LOT of time with baby having skin to skin in bed just the two of us. 

I'd say if you feel asking visitors to not have a cuddle is important then really stick to it, I think baby needs to know who mummy is so as much close cuddles as poss especially direct contact. Plus it means They can give more attention to your daughter who should be the star of true show!

Sling is a fab idea, I've a close Caboo DX which is great
For little diddy ones and it looks quite fiddly (although
Isn't) so means people don't ask to hold her when she's in it. 

Congratulations to you all :-D!!!! Super exciting times. Xx


----------

