# Starting out - advice and information needed



## vicky141 (May 22, 2011)

hi everyone,

After years of  infertility we have made the decision to try to adopt in order to give us our longed for family. I've been reading up on the process and feeling a bit daunted... I've got quite a lot of questions about how it works so really hoping for some info / advice. I'm 44 and my husband is 42. I've read that our ages should be ok, but wondering what people think. 

At the moment we're between houses as we're moving from a completely different area. We are trying to sell our house while staying with parents. We are returning to our hometown and we already have a house here, but it is currently let to tenants and we don't want to give notice until we've sold our house because of paying two mortgages. Do we need to be in the house that we would live in with our child during the application process or can we wait to move in closer to given that we are in a position to be in and settled quickly? - obviously given our ages we don't want to  delay, and we're keen to start as soon as we can.

We have a similar problem with doctors - we need to register where we are living now, but then will need to change again when we move back to our old house. Do you know if that will cause problems with getting a medical check?

What is the difference between council run agencies and voluntary agencies and what are the pros and cons of each? When it comes to getting linked does one type of agency have control / preference over another?

Our local council say on their website that they are not currently accepting applications to adopt children without additional needs under the age of two as they already have a waiting list of approved adopters. Are we able to go to another nearby council or a voluntary agency instead? We think we would like to adopt siblings, but I think we'd be concerned about coping with additional needs and older children (we might, but it seems like they're asking for a commitment right at the beginning, and we really don't feel we know enough about it)

Sorry this is such a long post! It seems hard to find out information except through agencies and it seems like assessment starts as soon as you make contact agencies, with decisions made about whether to recommend you for the process and I'd like to be better informed before we take the plunge!


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Hi Vicky


First of all welcome


Your ages won't be an issue, I am 42 my oh is 43 and adopted our ds 2 years ago and just going to start again.


Re applying to another agency that's a yes, our LA has it on their website that they are not taking on any new adopters due to having lots of approved adopters already on their books.
We are going through another LA due to this.


They will want you to be in the house where you are going to live with your new family. As they do h & s visits to assess the house.


Doctors won't be an issue as they just transfer your medical notes. You will be asked to have a medical at the begining of the process and again this can be transferred to your new doctor.


The difference between LA and VA that I know of is VA seem to have harder to place children on their books and look further afield where LA have children from their own areas on the books. If they can't place them within the LA they send the details to the VA.


I hope this helps and good luck with your new journey 


Love Mac x


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## ultrafirebug (Oct 22, 2010)

Hi Vicky, I would recommend you go to a few open evenings to see what la/va offer in your area and look if there is any close by as we are on the border of 3 counties so we went to 3 la open evenings. We recently moved area too (renting) and it didn't cause a problem during stage 1 of our assessment. We just made sure we registered with the doctor straight away. Your support network doesn't just have to be people close by its who you know you can call on should you need to. Good luck x


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## ciacox (May 31, 2013)

Hi Vicky

Congratulations on your decision. Exciting times! 

We started out in the process when we were renting and looking to buy so had similar issues I think. Part of the assessment includes an assessment of the home you plan to bring your child home to so you will need to be there once you are being assessed, although there may be some flexibility on this depending who you go with. One LA said they wouldn't even do an initial visit until we'd moved but others were more flexible. We ended up going with one that said they would see us through Stage 1 but that if we hadn't moved before Stage 1 finished there would need to be a gap between Stage 1 and 2. In the end this worked out fine as we moved around the end of Stage 1.

Re. medicals, we ran into some problems with this as we had to get our records moved from our GP in previous city to our new GP. Because the medical was the first time we had met our new GP they were understandably not keen to sign off without seeing any notes. Although the process of moving the notes is initiated as soon as you register with a new GP, in our case it took months and zillions of phonecalls to get them where they needed to be. Might be worth staying registered at your old GP and just getting the medicals done there!


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## vicky141 (May 22, 2011)

Thank you so much for your knowledge and advice - all of it really useful  Our old house is quite close to the borders of five different LAs so I will get in touch with them next week and ask about info sessions / issues with doctors / house and try to get a feel for how they respond. I've looked on the internet and it's only the LA with the waiting list that seems to have regular information sessions (I'm thinking the fact that they are the ones with lots of adoptive parents waiting is probably not a coincidence...)

Is it possible to find out a bit more about the LAs? Stuff like how many children / adoptive parents they have waiting, how many applications they receive, how many successful adoptions they sort out annually, average times to process applications, average waiting times for children / parents to be matched?  Also if there is anywhere that people post their experiences / reviews of specific LAs? I'm thinking that it may well be that some are a lot better than others  and this is the most important thing in the world for us so we want to make as informed a decision as possible.

Our parents live quite close to our old house so we are already living and working in the area where we want to adopt - the decision to move back was mainly motivated by wanting a support network for when we do have a family. Our situation has changed since we made the decision, but as one route closes another opens and hopefully this one will lead to becoming parents.

I think it would be easier to get a medical off our current GPs if possible because I can imagine it taking forever to sort out notes, but they are in a totally different part of the UK - do you think that will matter as they won't be the GPs we'll be with when we do adopt.

Sorry for yet more questions, and thank you for taking the time to answer my previous ones - it's a massive help and reassurance  x


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Hi Vicky


If you visit first4adoption website they have a map with information regarding children, matches, adopters waiting etc.


I'm not sure they have 2015 figs yet but there is a map for 2013 and 2014 so that should give you an idea.


Maybe if you post where you are from and ask people if they used any LA near you you might get a reply to the questions about LA?


Regards


Mac x


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Hi Vicky
You can ask each LA whether they have many adopters waiting, how many children they have on their books and what age / type of children you can expect to be matched with. And an idea of how long the process could take, although ours was longer than they suggested! 
Agree with Macgyver that it might be worth posting about specific area to find out others' views. I don't think there is anywhere that you can find adopters views on individual agencies unfortunately. 
You will get a good feel if you speak to one of the social workers on the adoption team, or better still attend the information evenings, go to as many as you like. 

Wishing you the best of luck. 
GG xx


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