# First IVF unsuccessful - any advise for me...



## Bunjy (Jan 25, 2007)

HI there
I found out my First IVF cycle was unsuccessful on New Years eve and am devastated. Some of you will know the feelings and I just wondered if anyone has any advise / words of encouragement that will help me at this time. I have seen my consultant (Chelsfield Park) and will do another cycle asap but...just feeling so low and worn out by all the losses over the past year x


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## TwiceBlessed (Nov 8, 2006)

Hi there

Sorry that you have had an unsuccessful first IVF cycle (and sorry to read of your previous history).Sadly a lot of people dont get a bfp first time round (though it is more than possible).  Sometimes clinics need that first cycle to find your fit in relation to your drug regime so please please try to think positive and it really can happen.

The infertility road is a hard one for us all.  Its hard enough dealing with the physical side but emotionally it can be so hard to deal with and at times you can feel so despondent.

Did your consultant suggest anything in relation to changing your protocol or have any thoughts?  They may go with the same one if you reacted well to the meds.  Did you have any issues with egg/sperm/lining that may have been an issue that you know of?  

As for advice, I can just say hang in there.  Many of us dont get there first time.  You are going to feel low at this time (new year doesnt help does it when you could have been celebrating).  Please just feel free to post on here and get support from people going through this with you.  Also post on cycle buddies for the month you will be starting again.

Wishing you all the very best for this treatment.


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## tom+jerry (Jan 2, 2008)

Know exactly where you coming from.

We've just finished IVF and outcome date was 1 Jan and it was a BFN. I was devastated. As you say dont think time of year helps.

My counsellor told me "IVF is such an emotional rollercoaster and you want to give it your best shot but only once your emotionally strong again so dont make any hasty decisions."

Here's hoping that 2008 brings you happier times.


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

sending you all big hugs   i know you have probably heard this a million times but it's true time is a great healer   in the mean time allow yourself plenty of tears and tantrums and try and get some pampering  

pam xx


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## Skybreeze (Apr 25, 2007)

I am so sorry about your BFN hun, we had a failed IVF on the 15th of November. So I know how you are feeling.  

Just take your time, and let your tears flow... It does get easier hun, just takes sometime....  I wish you well in your next cycle, hope your not waiting to long.

Love Natalie xxxxxxxxx


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Hi bunjy

I'm so sorry to hear that you recently had an unsuccessful IVF cycle  I think many of us can fully empathise with what you must be feeling right now, especially as Christmas/New Year is such a poignant time 

We had our most recent BFN back in October (our 5th IVF/FET treatment cycle) and it is heartbreaking and although you may not believe it right now, the age old cliche is very true...time is a great healer. It never completely stops hurting, if I'm completely honest, but it doesn't have that gut wrenching, nauseous making pain...if you know what I mean ?

I notice you mention you're at Chelsfield Park...which consultant are you under and where do you live ?

We too are at Chelsfield Park and live in SE London. We see Mr Chris Steer privately but our last IVF was actually on NHS and it's Dr Judy Reid who carries out all the NHS treatment cycles. We are planning on having our 2nd NHS cycle in March and have an appointment with Dr Reid on 7 February to confirm all the dates.

They usually like you to have around 3 months between treatments as this allows you time to recover both physically and emotionally.

Why not come and join all us other Chelsfield Chicks on the Chelsfield thread on ICSI board (you don't have to be having ICSI but we don't have separate clinic threads for both IVF and ICSI so just chat on the one)....we're all really friendly, I promise, and you'll get lots of support and advise from other ladies at the same clinic and possibly the same consultant. I'll leave you the link to the thread and hopefully see you on there 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=121658.0

Take care of yourself and your partner...and feel free to contact me directly by PM (personal message) anytime.  

Natasha xxxx


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## Happy Mummy (Sep 22, 2006)

Bunjy, 
I am sorry about your BFN 
It is very hard, and we all understand what you are feeling.
It takes indeed often more than one try for IVF to work. Nowthat you had treatments docs will learn from it, and change your protocole and/or the amount of dosage you had.

after my last 2 treatments I have had accupuncture and it has helped me a lot with my energy levels and also with the emotional issue.

I wish you the best ! 
Future Mummy


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## kooks1 (Aug 24, 2006)

hi Bunjy, I am so sorry to hear about your BFN   I just wanted to say that this time last year I had not long found out I had got a BFN too (27th Dec) and I remember thinking I would never become a mummy, I was lucky enough to then get a BFP on my next attempt. You WILL be a mummy huni - you will have to greive now for the loss, i think if we are honest we all think we will get a BFP on the first attempt - even though we know alot dont - something in you thinks you will and then its so hard to deal with. this time last year I didnt believe it would ever happen for me - and look now - i am still shocked! 

as EBW said - the first attempt gives them chance to get to know how your body responds to the drugs etc so try to look at the positive bit (which is really hard right now) they know so much more about your particular body response now so they will have a much better idea on how to proceed with the next tx. have a think about what questions you need to ask when you have your next appointment - i think there is a post on here somewhere to help - i took in all the questions after my bfn and felt much better knowing all the answers to them  

my consultant origionally told me that 3 attempts is the 'average' so i just kept thinking i'd have to have 3 to try to deal with any of the BFN's 

as future mummy said - have you thought about acupuncture ir reflexology etc? i had acupuncture on both cycles - but most importantly i had it inbetween and i am sure it helped get my body ready for the tx - i also had reflexology on the 2nd 2ww - not sure if it helped but i got my BFP so i wouldn't do it differently if i did it another time  

i really hope you start to feel better soon huni   its so horrible - i got very angry between the two - hated seeing pregnant women and children etc but i guess you have to go through some of the horrible emotions to get through it   

good luck with your next one hun   concentrate now on getting your body ready - lots of water, good food, plenty of rest etc i am so sure what you do on the run up helps - i stopped eating all processed food, drank gallons of water, cut out most caffine, ate lots of healthy stuff (fruit and veg etc) and took a selenium tablet.

do whatever you NEED to do to get yourself ready hun


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## Bunjy (Jan 25, 2007)

Your words are so kind. Thank you for helping me. I will take all the adivse on board. We plan to try again in March. The next one is likely to be private - although I'm trying to find out about the NHS list as I've been on it 2 years so who knows. I am going to try and lose a bit of wieght - although the hospital said I'm fine for treatment. Have cut out alcohol (although have done a bit of catching up since the result having had none over christmas ! eat healthy....haven't heard about the selenium tablets - are they meant to be good for this ??

I'm under Ms Hanna at Chelsfield and will look at the Pages for this hospital - will mail again soon.  ^idiot  x thanks again my like minded friends x


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Hi again

I've not seen Ms Hanna but have heard good things about her...there's a few ladies on Chelsfield thread who are under her care.

What borough are you in re NHS waiting list ? We're under London Borough of Bromley...Princess Royal, Farnborough but they use Chelsfield as satalite and Dr Reid carries out all the procedures but you'd still have the same nursing staff and embryologists etc.

We were put on the list in April 2005 and we finally got a letter in May 2007 saying we'd reached the top of the list and we had our first NHS funded cycle in September.

Do you know the actual date you were put on the waiting list as it is approx 2-2 & half years.

Selenium is an anti-oxident and it helps promote a healthy womb lining, which is why it's thought to help aid implantation.

If you have a look on both the Prenatal Care and Complementary Therapies boards I'm sure you'll find some useful advise and hints/tips....

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=20.0

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=14.0

Also, if you use the search facility and perhaps narrow it down to only look on the boards I've mentioned, as well as Peer Support, you will find lots of threads/posts discussing selenium and other supplements.

We will be starting our next IVF (4th fresh IVF) in March so we may be cycling together 

Good luck & take care
Natasha


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## butterflykisses (Oct 28, 2007)

hi 
  sorry to hear about your negative cycle.i had my first ivf/icsi cycle in nov and got a negative it's so hard isn't it but you to get through it and everyone on hear know how you feel.
                        best of luck
                  mariexx


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## Olleyonion (May 9, 2004)

Hi Bunjy,
I just noticed the thread and wanted to wish you luck with your next cycle.  Our first ivf attempt was unsucessful and we found out on New Years Eve 2003.  I remember the devastation like it was yesterday but we carried on and started our second cycle in March 2004.  This was successful and I gave birth to twins Grace and George in January 2005.  Please don't give up.  I really hope 2008 is your year.
Love,
Katie xxxxxxx


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## kizzymouse (Jan 13, 2006)

its not advise from me but just what I personally do - go out and have fun, drink eat wotever you want and plan your next treatment as soon as poss.

that helps me, though I only usually get upset on the day of bfn then move on, cos hate dwelling on negative stuff too much.

sorry prob not much help to you!!   Hope your next tx is successful


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