# Hi y'all...newbie's first post :)



## MadameJoJo (Feb 25, 2008)

Hi I'm JoJo...I never felt maternal until a couple of years ago, as I was concentrating on my career for a long time, and then I met someone who changed my view towards children, so I started trying to conceive August 2006 with (now ex) b/f when I was 36. Thought it would be easy - hmmm little did I know at the time. We eventually split up, not least because he changed his mind about having a child with me, and it was very hard to spend time with him and his child from a previous relationship knowing we couldn't have one together.  

I'm now 38, and I've been with someone else (who already has 2 children) since September 2007, and we're totally loved-up! We've been having BMS but no positive result yet (been using Pre-Seed a couple of times).  I haven't had a final diagnosis as yet, I saw a consultant at Coventry and Warwickshire Centre for Reproductive Medicine in 2007, had hormone tests (all fine), a Hycosy Scan (tubes not blocked). Now I'm awaiting a further appointment as they lost my records (grrr!) to see what the next step is... 

I have been reading the stories avidly on this site, and it gives me hope that miracles do happen, especially the over 40 stories. It came as quite a shock that I didn't get pregnant as soon as I stopped taking the pill. I now regret leaving things so late in my life, but hopefully it's not too late. My mum had her first and only child at 39 (me!) and I always thought I would be able to do the same.  

So hello to you all, I'm happy to be here and I'm looking forward to getting some support and information from you all at the start of my baby quest


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## MadameJoJo (Feb 25, 2008)

Thanks 

I don't know what they will suggest at the next consultation because I went as a single woman last year, and was seriously considering the sperm donor route.  I'm not sure how my b/f will feel about having any tests himself. Will we both have to attend next time? I think (like a lot of men who've had children previously) he will think he's fine and no tests for him are necessary!  

I do think I am ovulating (and confirmed by the hormone tests), although I don't really see the egg white stuff. I have regular periods, a 28 day cycle, with periods that last only 3 or 4 days max. 

Does anyone have any idea what will happen at my next appointment and what treatment they may prescribe?


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## emsy25 (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,

Just wanted to say hello and welcome.

Emma
x x x x


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## Strawberry_Angel (Feb 28, 2008)

Hello hun and a very warm welcome to FF


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello JoJo, welcome to Fertility Friends. 

I am sorry for all the sturggles you are having conceiving. I think a lot of us have "been there" with regards to coming off the pill and expecting to get pg fairly quickly.  They say that it does take up to 12 months and, in that time, most couples who are having regular sex will conceive. Normally you are advised to wait 2 years before you start worrying and seek medical help, however when you are over 35 you really can't afford to wait around so you are doing a very sensible thing in trying to sort out if there are any issues now.

It is likely that they will want to test your partner's sperm before suggesting a course of action. Even if he has conceived previously with no issues that does not mean to say things are still ok (my DH has 2 grown up sons from a previous marriage but still turned out to have some slight male factor problems when it came to ttc with me). If nothing else then it is necessary to "rule out" your partner from having issues and certainly necssary to decide on the most appropriate course of action for you. I understand it might be quite hard for him to accept he has to be tested but, in all likelihood, you won't be able to get around that and, believe it or not but you can make the doing the sample thing a bit of fun if you put your mind to it!  
Perhaps it would be a good idea for him to come to your consultation with you so that he can hear this from a medical professional if you think he might react negatively to the suggestion?

I will leave you a few links to some parts of the board that I hope you will find useful:

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*FERTILITY INFO GUIDES ~ *CLICK HERE

*Starting out & Diagnosis ~ *CLICK HERE

And don't forget to have a bit of fun while you are on FF and check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area:

*Girl & Boy talk - Community & Fun Board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

Wishing you lots of luck! 

C~x


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi madamejojo and welcome to the site 

You have come to a fantastic place full of advice and support.

You have been left some great links to try out.

I wish you loads of luck with the future and that you get a positive result.

Kate xx​


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## MadameJoJo (Feb 25, 2008)

Period arrived today so hopes dashed once again...but I'm going to stay positive 

Thanks for all the messages and support. I've got an appointment tomorrow so fingers crossed for the next step, whatever that might be. 

I'll keep y'all posted.


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## MadameJoJo (Feb 25, 2008)

Hello!

I have just returned from the clinic this afternoon. Basically they said that they hadn't contacted me because last time I visited I mentioned I had just met someone. I still think that they should have contacted me as a follow up to my last appointment, just a letter confirming that they could not find anything wrong would have sufficed but no contact at all seemed a little weird and confusing.

Anyway, my consultant took my partner's details (he wasn't able to accompany me today as he is on Easter hols with his daughter) and said that DP will need to do a sperm test. He said that 6 months of TTC is not very long, and there's nothing obviously wrong with me. He said the only other test he could put me forward for is a laparoscopy, in case I have scar tissue from the removal of my ovarian cyst 18 years ago. He said this was not without risks and sounded as if he was trying to put me off having it done. I'm not sure what the risks are. After pressing him a little, he has suggested I have a further appointment in 2 months' time for a 'review' as I am concerned that leaving it much longer will rule me out for further treatment. I also had a further day 2 blood test as the last one was in Jan 2007 (luckily my appointment coincided with my 2nd day of my period!)

The consultant took details of DP's drinking and smoking habits (he does both). He said that the review will look at the quality of DP's sperm and then it will decide on the best course of action from there. Even though DP has a 5 yr old son and a 10 yr old daughter, the quality of his sperm may have gone down in the preceding years, although there always seems to be lots of it!! (sorry too much info!) We are going away for a long weekend to Spain on Thursday and I think I will have a talk to DP whilst we're away, and gauge his reaction to the next inevitable step. It's not going to be easy, but at least I have another appointment in May so I'm still on my clinic's radar. 

In the meantime, I am going to concentrate on lots of BMS and boosting my immune system and hopefully my fertility (lots of superfoods and maybe some acupuncture). Are there any books I could get on eating to improve fertility?


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## Strawberries (Apr 6, 2005)

*Hi JoJo,

Just like to say hello and to fertility friends 

Strawberries x *


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## MadameJoJo (Feb 25, 2008)

Good evening to you all... 

Well, here's the next instalment, we're just back from a weekend in Spain and the first night we got slightly tipsy and I managed to broach the subject with DP, i.e why I had a hospital appointment the week before. In fact, he asked me what it was about and I just blurted it all out!! It transpired that he has no problem at all with the sperm test, and he has now become quite enthusiastic about the whole issue of BMS and when we need to do it, etc etc!! How wrong I was about his reaction. Good news, huh! He has even promised to try and lead a more healthy lifestyle too, so we shall see what the results of the test are, when we can spare some time to pop down the clinic. 

*breathes sigh of relief*


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## WendyD (Feb 28, 2008)

Hello MadameJoJo, welcome to FF

some of your story so mirrors mine, I was 36 in Feb 2006, got married for second time in May that year and started ttc in July 2006 thinking it would 'just happen'! Oh no  . My DH also has children to a previous partner.

Think the SA tests are pretty regular, mine's not bothered about doing them, more concerned about whether he'll be able to 'perform' (sorry tmi!)

Glad your DP is ok with doing his test and excellent news about him trying to lead a healthier life, it can only help you both ttc.

Hope all goes well for you, take care hun

x x x


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## MadameJoJo (Feb 25, 2008)

Thanks for your supportive comment...wishing you lots of luck hun xx


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## MadameJoJo (Feb 25, 2008)

Good evening!

I managed to arrange an appointment for DP to go to the clinic next Friday, so progress has definitely been made. I'm so relieved, and I just hope he isn't put off by the surroundings and the pressure to produce something! We had a little joke last night, wondering why I can't come along and give him a 'helping hand' so to speak!     He's surprisingly relaxed about the whole thing (or maybe he's really stressing about inside but he's not letting on too badly!)

We shall see...if he's not able to 'perform', then the back-up plan must be relied on!!  

AF is due on Sunday for me, or maybe not if we struck lucky this month. My only symptom is that I've been absolutely exhausted this week (even DP has commented on it and suggested I might be pregnant) and my breasts have only been sore since Monday (usually I experience tenderness for 10 days plus). I've also been eating lots, and put on a few pounds. But somehow I don't feel pregnant. Hmmm. Fingers crossed!


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## Huldra (Apr 16, 2008)

Hi there,

Hope your partner "performs" well!

My DH didn't mind doing his tests at all. But he got pretty tired of me starting to giggle every time I thought about him doing them!  


W.


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## MadameJoJo (Feb 25, 2008)

Thanks, sweetie


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## MadameJoJo (Feb 25, 2008)

Well, today is a sad day as AF arrived this morning 

Feeling hopeless and angry, and wondering why I can't conceive. Hating all the young mums in the street today!

At least DP is going to the clinic this week - but I hope I don't get angry with the poor thing if he can't do it. 

Let's hope I feel better about life tomorrow. 

Night!


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