# Donor eggs



## Be Lucky (Mar 22, 2008)

Hi me from a catholic background and would like 2 hear from anyone who has used donor eggs and how they come 2 terms with it.thanx berniex


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## skybluesarah (Nov 15, 2006)

Hi Bernie,

I'm Catholic, but have not used donor eggs...I just wanted to say hello.  Remember, regardless of how a child is conceived, that child is a child of God.


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## Be Lucky (Mar 22, 2008)

Hi sarah.thanx for ur kind response.i remember u had a mc a while back-hav u had any luck with treatment berniex


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## skybluesarah (Nov 15, 2006)

Hi Bernie,

We've not been trying since our last loss in May, but I've just been tested for high levels of Natural Killer cells which came back positive, so I will be starting on some steroids soon.  Thank you for asking and remembering!


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## Be Lucky (Mar 22, 2008)

Good luck sarah.how old ru if u dont mind me asking?berniex


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## Ali40 (Feb 13, 2006)

Hi Bernie

I don't normally post on this thread - but saw that there was a donor egg question raised and thought I would give you my views/story.  As a background I am a catholic but not a hugely practisining one.  However it never leaves you does it?  And if you read my signature you will see that sadly I lost my first born due to a rare lung disorder, he still had an emergency bedside baptism and a catholic funeral as in my heart of hearts that is what I felt he deserved/needed etc.  Anyway after losing him and desperately trying to concieve again I was told my only option of having another baby was via egg donation.  

My husband and I had talked about and been to talks about adoption - but I wanted to give birth and for that baby to survive.  Initially I struggled with all sorts of issues - should I be doing this, what will my family say, what will it be like having had my own genetic child to then not etc etc.  But I am a firm believer that when you have the misfortune of infertility that you embark on a journey and only as one door closes can your journey then turn in a different direction and go off down another route.  

When you start out you never know what route that journey will take - but if you still want the same outcome at the end then your mind will open up to all sorts of possibilities.  And of course science is an amazing thing.  We also knew that we had sooooo much love to give a child, something that really hits you when you have a baby (even if sadly he is lost) that it made us realise that we had to try all options.  My DH was very good in saying that because it was not my genes it was my decision - he knew he could love a child no matter what their background.

Anyway to cut a very long long story short we went to the Institut de Marques in Barcelona (bit expensive and no waiting lists) but I wanted the quickest route to pregnancy possible and this was it.  It worked first time and I have a beautiful 18 month old daughter.  Sadly the frozen embryos that remained from our initial treatment didn't work but I am now pregnant again via a different donor with my third child (due feb next year).  I was in love with her from the moment I saw her and she is a complete delight.  

Only you and your partner can reach the right decision for you but if you are now faced with taking a different route in your fertility treatment and egg donation is it - then maybe it was meant to be?  My daughter is a little miracle as far as we are concerned and although I miss my son every day he is always with me (in fact he is my guardian angel - or so I like to believe, I can no longer look after him - but he is looking after me) then my daughter may not be here.  She was created out of the love of two people who had and have so much more to give her (and now another).  It is a difficult thing to come to terms with and something you would never imagine would be where you end up.  But it is an option which thanks to the kindness of some women and modern science makes it possible for people like me to have a family and I can't help but thank all involved (including him up there) for making me the luckiest Mummy alive.

Good luck with what ever you decide.

Alison .....


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## Be Lucky (Mar 22, 2008)

Oh Alison 

Thanks for your lovely message.  I am so sorry for the loss of your son - I am sure he is watching over you.  I know another lady on the site who had the same thing happen to her - her genetic baby boy died but sadly she has tried de and frosties but her 1st attempt hasn't worked.

It is amazing you had the same thoughts as me re de and been of a catholic background does make it worse - I don't go to mass every week but was married in catholic church and would like to get a child even if by donor egg baptised in church.  Can I ask did you do that with your daughter and did you have a lot of explaining to do!  What bout family and friends - have you told them and do you plan to tell the children?

Sorry for all the questions!  Just to update you I have been given a date for DE at Reprofit - 14.04.09!  have decided to stop trying with my oe.

Thank you.  Would like to stay in touch

P.S Are you in UK

Bernie


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## Ali40 (Feb 13, 2006)

Hi Bernie

In answer to your questions:

I was married in the catholic church - but horror of horrors am now divorced (no children from that marriage) - met my now husband (not married in a catholic church) late in life aged 36.  He is a non believer.

Yes we did have our daughter baptised in the catholic church - only one v religious lady there knows her origin and if she was against it she has kept it very well hidden.  Unfortunately she also thinks I am a bit of a lost cause re not going to church and often tries to "recruit" me to go to retreats or "catholic improver classes"!

We have told family and close friends and yes we will tell our daughter - though we didn't tell the priest!!  But he never asked and to be honest it is not really anyone's business but ours.

Everyone whether religous, catholic, non-catholic etc have been hugely supportive.  I think they wanted to see us with children and already the comments come back to us about what a happy, easy going, relaxed child she is - and often these are from people that don't know our story about either the loss of our son or that she is egg donation - it says A LOT about nurture over nature!!

Yes I am in the UK - Oxfordshire - where are you?

What is OE?

Your appt in Reprofit seems a long way away.  If you want a faster turnaround re pregancy and have the cash - try IM in Barcelona - 7 weeks from first appt to a positive pregnancy test!!  Cost approx 10,000 euros plus flights etc.

Best wishes 

Alison ....


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## Be Lucky (Mar 22, 2008)

Hi Alison

I hope you didn't think I was been nosey!

Oe is own eggs.  We have already spent 16k on IVF that why we a bit strapped for cash!

Us in New Malden in Surrey.

Leaving work for day now.

Going to gym.

Bernie


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## skybluesarah (Nov 15, 2006)

Bernie, I'm 31 (32 on Saturday!)


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## Oli (Oct 10, 2003)

Hi Bernie,

I am also Catholic and have a daughter who was naturally conceived.  I am no longer able to have a genetic child of my own and as a result we made the decision to go to Serum in Athens where there is no waiting list for donor eggs.  We had a cycle in the Summer which did result in a pregnancy but very sadly we lost the baby at 5 weeks.  

It is a very personal decision, but we have so much love to give a child and I personally felt that our donor was giving us a precious gift (despite the fact she was being paid).  She was giving us the gift of a child who was so wanted by our family.  We gave her a small gift for her and her little boy and she gave us a bottle of champagne.  Although I never met her or knew her name, I knew a little about her and felt a true connection.  When we had embryo transfer I felt very emotional and felt an immediate connection with "my babies" despite the fact they had no genetic link to me.  I can hand on heart say that it made no difference to me that the children would not be genetically connected to me and I have been truly devastated by the loss of my pregnancy.

We have decided to have one last go, again at Serum.  I cannot reccommed this clinic enough and there is lots of info on the Greek thread if you are interested.  Also, I am happy for you to e-mail me with any questions.

Wishing you lots of luck with whatever you decide to do.

Love Oli  xxx


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