# 1st Appointment - didnt go well :( *



## shortnsweet3781 (Jan 18, 2008)

Well I had my 1st appointment, found the Dr very blunt when she spoke to me, it was all very upsetting. As I am overweight they will not do anything or investigate anythin further till I lose 3 stone - which seems like a lifetime away for me. I understand what they are saying and the reasons for it but the way I was told was not very nice, basically got told that and go away sort of thing. It was absolutely devastating as I knew I was overweight but never knew it was that bad and that they wont give me any idea of problems till that is lost. 

Really upset at moment!


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi and welcome to the site 

You have come to a fantastic place full of advice and support and i wish you loads of luck with everything.

Kate xx​


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## MrsRedcap (Jan 6, 2006)

ShortnSweet I've PM'd you hun as I think I may know who you're talking about.

Make a complaint to the clinic as it's out of order and if I think it's who I think it is she's got away with it too often.

Welcome to FF hunny you'll get lots of support here.

Vicki x x


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello Shortnsweet, welcome to Fertility Freinds. 

Sorry to hear you had a rather tactless cons.  She might have a valid point about weight loss helping fertility but there are ways and means of telling people they need to lose some weight and it sounds like she's not been terribly motivating to you.

There are many ladies here on FF who are in a similar positiion to you and trying to lose some weight, either for IVF or for other reasons. We have a Belly Buddies section that, if you want, you can request access to. It is full of ladies who are trying and supoprting each other with weight loss.

Did your cons do any tests at all? Have you or your partner had any tests yet? Just wondering because, I know weight is a very easy get-out excuse for why some women don't conceive but, your infertility may have absolutely nothing to do with you being overweight and, in fact, your weight might even be a symptom of PCOS which impairs fertility! At the very least, you should go back for a second opinion just to have tests done and, perhaps, discuss a weight loss plan with your cons. Failing that, you could ask your GP for support with this and possibly even referral to a dietician. Do not let this silly tactless person beat you down! 

Here's a few links you might want to check out:

*What Every New Member Needs To Know ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Words, Meanings & Jargon ~ *CLICK HERE

*FERTILITY INFO GUIDES ~ *CLICK HERE

*Belly Buddies: Weight loss support ~ *CLICK HERE

*Girl & Boy talk - Community board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

Wishing you lots of luck. 

C~x


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## emsy25 (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,

Just wanted to say hello and welcome.  Sorry to hear your Consultant was a little bit abrupt with you   

Emma
x x x x


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## shortnsweet3781 (Jan 18, 2008)

Hi everyone thanks for your support!! When I was there a nurse did give me a scan - she was actually lovely thank goodness. But I do have a cyst and also she mentioned I have small black spots on one of my ovaries - which I think is a sign of pcos? Is that right? I have to go back next period anyway to get another scan. Could that account for my weight and would it make any difference to my treatment (or lack of at present).

Thanks folks!


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## eggsharer (Oct 22, 2007)

i've heard this kind of story before on here but in real life people of ALL shapes and sizes get pregnant so its awful they refuse to treat women with curves, some clinics go fiercly against this policy as they rightly say in real life all kinds get pregnant so why not with IVF.  Put that in your letter of complaint - what an  

Good luck hunnie


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## Loubie101 (Aug 20, 2005)

Hi, just wanted to say hello and welcome to FF.  I'm really sorry to hear your clinic were so abrupt with you, it must have been such a disappointment 

Good luck for the future xx


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

shortnsweet3781 said:


> Hi everyone thanks for your support!! When I was there a nurse did give me a scan - she was actually lovely thank goodness. But I do have a cyst and also she mentioned I have small black spots on one of my ovaries - which I think is a sign of pcos? Is that right?


I am not a medical professional so please don't take my "advice" here as gospel - the only person who could really say would be a professional who is trained to interpret these results. I would imagine that a nurse might not even be properly qualified to say what the scan meant, even if she has done many. I was told PCOS looks like a bunch of grapes on your ovaries - lots of tiny follicles, rather like small black dots and this sounds quite like what mine looked like when I had them scanned so it is entirely possible. When I had my ovaries scanned while having investigations, the sonographer wrote a report up there and then for me to take away (mind you, that was because I was going back to my cons the next week and she wanted to make sure it got to him in time!) I had a look at the report and it said the pattern was typical of PCO, although I have never actually been told I have PCOS - I do have a number of other typical PCO symptoms though, and respond to IVF stimulation in a typical PCOS fashion and was classified a PCOS patient by my fertility clinic for those purposes!

PCOS, if indeed you do have it, is a varied and complicated condition. I read on one report that there is a lot of theorising going on now that the polycystic ovaries part of it is merely symptom of a much wider endocrine disorder that is closely related to insulin resistance and diabetes (might explain why metformin - commonly used to control certain types of diabetes - is prescribed to "help" PCOS sufferers get pregnant in some cases). It is fairly well known that PCOS sufferers tend to carry extra weight and find it harder to shift than before and, again, metformin has been known to help there (in conjunction with a diet and exercise of course!) There are many other symptoms too, which I won't list here but I will leave you a link to the PCOS boards so you can have a read.

*PCOS ~ *CLICK HERE

I would, however, urge you to exercise caution and try not to use the information you have read here to self diagnose as there is every chance you may not have PCOS at all and there may be other reasons for your failure to conceive - I would hate for you to focus all your energies on one thing for it not to be the problem at all.  As I said before, it's all very well and good telling you to go away and lose weight but, in the first instance, you ought to be entitled to tests and a diagnosis before this and, if there is something like PCOS involved, you could even ask for some help to control and reduce your weight and, indeed, this might be enough to kick start your fertility perhaps even to avoid any treatment (or at least the more invasive treatments) in the first place.

By the way, 3 stone sounds like a huge amount to lose but, honestly, you CAN do it and it won't take you anywhere near as long as you think. I lost 2 stone before my first IVF - it took me about 6 months of steady - but not obsessive - dieting (mostly just cutting out fatty food and snacking between meals for me); the first stone fell off really quickly and then it gets a bit harder but, there's nothing quite like a really good incentive to drive you on. The ladies on th Belly Buddies section would be very supportive to you if you wanted to join them, or you could join a local weight loss group. Also go back and fight your case and see if you can get any help losing weight - any doctor who does not want to offer help with a patient actively trying to improve their overall health isn't a very good doctor IMO. 

Wishing you lots of luck. Do let me know how you get on.

C~x


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## shortnsweet3781 (Jan 18, 2008)

Thank you all for your support and words of encouragement. To update I have spoken to the clinic and asked not to see that woman again - I have  asked to see a consultant who I have been told has better people skills. 
I have also written a letter to the consultant voicing my concerns over the way I was treated. I have also asked him to possibly do some further investigation before just writing me off the way the other lady did. I have asked him to rule out PCOS so that I know if my weight struggle is a normal one or if it is being hindered by PCOS. 
I am hoping to get a better response from this doctor - I fully understand I need to lose weight but a bit better treatment would be nice!!!!! 
I have also made an appointment at my own GP to see if she can help me with my struggle as I have real difficulty shifting weight even when I am doing all the right things.
So here's hoping I get some positive results from this!!!


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## MrsRedcap (Jan 6, 2006)

I hope you get results hun. 

Good luck!

Vicki x


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

& Welcome to FF  Shortnsweet   
Caz has given you some wonderful advice and links, be sure to check them out. I would encourage you to post in these areas to build friendships and support from members who really do have an understanding of your situation,

Wednesday Nights is Newbie night in the Chatroom too
CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION

To make the site easier to navigate click on the index tab at the top of any page - pink hearts mean there is something new within the board you have not read/looked at and if you scroll right down you will see the last ten posts from all over FF all are clickable  if you refresh this page (f5) it will update the last ten posts as well as the boards/threads and who's online!!!
take some time to look at the *help tab* too 

Check out the *Locations boards* for where you live & a site search for your *clinic* 

Wishing you Friendship  &    


If you need any help just ask! 
~Dizzi~


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## *katie* (Nov 9, 2004)

Hello and welcome Shortnsweet,

So sorry to hear of your troubles conceiving and to hear how your appointment went, must have been very upsetting  .

I am sure you'll find lots of friendship and support here hun.

Katie


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello again Shortnsweet. Well done for taking the next step! I hope that you get a little further forward with this other consultant and that you get some support from your GP regards weight loss. 
You do sound s lot more positive because of this so, here's hoping, you're a step closer to making a baby soon!

C~x


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## shortnsweet3781 (Jan 18, 2008)

Well I posted on here after my 1st appointment, as it was a horrible traumatic experience thanks to my rather tactless unfeeling consultant. Thinks have started to become more positive, I have found a new eating plan which is helping me lose weight (was struggling to shift it before) I am now down about a stone since seeing that consultant. I also wrote to my clinic to express my concern over the treatment I received, not that I disagree with the diagnosis but rather the way it was given. I arranged my next appointment with a consultant whom I was told had some better people skills. I have since had another appointment date come through to see this consultant which is allot sooner than the one I had booked. So I am waiting to go see him and see what happens. I don't expect to get a different course of treatment as I know they are strict with bmi's but I will hopefully be close to target when I go. If my weight loss continues to be steady I should be about bmi 31. something so not far off the 30 mark. Anyway ladies fingers crossed it goes well and he may consider investigating my history a bit further. 

Has anyone had any experience, are consultants at all lenient if you are close to bmi limit and proving to be losing weight

Any input gratefully received!


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## Loubie101 (Aug 20, 2005)

Hey well done on losing a stone in what? 3 weeks?!  That's fab and means you're a third of the way there 

Good luck for yur next appointment


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello again Shortnsweet.

Fab news. Well done on a stone already.  And, er, can you share that eating plan please! 

I couldn't say for sure whether your cons will be a little more lenient but, if you are showing progress with the weight loss and looking like to mean business they may well start doing some tests at least. These can definitely be done while you are still losing weight and, I think you can proabbly make a pretty good case for that.

Wishing you lots of luck. Don't forget to let us know how you get along.

C~x


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## shortnsweet3781 (Jan 18, 2008)

Hi, thanks for the words of support. No trick behind it really have just cut down my calorie/fat intake, eating 3 meals cutting out snacks and avoiding bread as was told by someone it bloats women. Plus lots of hard work swimming and walking. Trust me it aint easy!


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Ah bread! My big weakness. Well that and, er, food! 

Well done.  
You have amazing willpower and, I think when you've lost another stone, you should persuade DH to book you a Spa day for a treat. 

I lost over 2 stone a few years ago (for IVF) and I did something a bit similar (although I did have to go down the rabbiot food avenue in order to get that weight off as it just doens't happen any other way for me). I found the first stone or stone and a half came off wuickly and quite easily but, then the weight loss does tend to slow up so please, don't be despondant if you stop losing it so fast. Slow and easy is by far healthier and you will keep the weight down. Kepp it up!

C~x


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## ♥Saila♥ (Mar 27, 2006)

Hello 

Please come and join us on the Belly Buddy board! I have 2.5 stone left to lose before I can have IVF so we are in the same boat hon  

Good Luck with TTC I hope you have your BFP soon  

Love Saila 

xxxxx


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## shortnsweet3781 (Jan 18, 2008)

Well people I was back at the clinic today - had a chat with the nurse who was doing my scan. She was a lovely lady, I asked about the maximum bmi level and she told me its 35!!!!! She says they prefer 30 but the top limit is 35! I got her to weigh me so I could check my progress with their scales and she said I am doing well, when I got home I checked my bmi and its 32.6 so I am delighted. Well technically I will be bit more as on their records am 4ft 8 but upon double checking today I am 4ft 9.5, so I am delighted. I am still aiming to get down below 30, don't think will be quite there when I get my next consultant appointment on 17th March but its a big improvement from when I first went. Anyway I don't think I will get to go on Clomid still as I have a cyst, and not sure what will happen till thats resolved. But hey my bmi is coming down!!!!


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## corinthian (Feb 19, 2008)

Just wanted to say well done! Just been reading the history of your thread here.  YOu've done really well and sound loads more positive than when you first posted! This is such a roller coaster isn't it.  Emotions all over the place.  Hope all continues to go well x


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## armi (Sep 1, 2007)

Congratulations on all the success you are having with the weight loss... I agree with having a reward pampering day at a SPA.. but also thinkof thge lovely nbew slim clothes you can buy........Keep up trhe fab work.... inching closer and closer the


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## shortnsweet3781 (Jan 18, 2008)

Saila said:


> Hello
> 
> Please come and join us on the Belly Buddy board! I have 2.5 stone left to lose before I can have IVF so we are in the same boat hon
> 
> ...


Hiya where do I find belly buddy board

Thanks


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## shortnsweet3781 (Jan 18, 2008)

corinthian said:


> Just wanted to say well done! Just been reading the history of your thread here. YOu've done really well and sound loads more positive than when you first posted! This is such a roller coaster isn't it. Emotions all over the place. Hope all continues to go well x


Thanks for your support!!! It definately is a rollercoaster but I feel like things are moving forward a bit now which is fantastic. My last visit for follow up scan has left me feeling better as my bmi down a good bit and it feels like they are keen to investigate more. Just a bit worried what they can do - as I cant get clomid with the cyst so dont really know what other options will be open to me!


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## shortnsweet3781 (Jan 18, 2008)

armi said:


> Congratulations on all the success you are having with the weight loss... I agree with having a reward pampering day at a SPA.. but also thinkof thge lovely nbew slim clothes you can buy........Keep up trhe fab work.... inching closer and closer the


I am definately going to treat myself once the weight is sorted


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

shortnsweet3781 said:


> Hiya where do I find belly buddy board
> 
> Thanks


Hi 
I put his link on my original post to you, but here it is again 

Belly Buddies - you need to ask for acess first 
CLICK HERE


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## shortnsweet3781 (Jan 18, 2008)

Down another 3 - 4 lbs this week folks !!!!


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Tonight is Newbie Night in the Chat room From 8pm

- do pop in and say  To Caz & I

The chat room has various themed sessions each week, 
Details of these can be found on the main index page 
The chat room is open 24/7 with lots of support, fun & friendship to be found.
We already Offer one2one Chats by prior arrangement CLICK HERE



For help in getting into the chatroom  CLICK HERE


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## shortnsweet3781 (Jan 18, 2008)

Hi Dizzi - I tried to join the chat last night but my pc wouldn't connect to it. It kept timing out!!!!  Maybe next week I will manage to get on. Thanks for the invite tho.


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