# Thank god Ive found you



## jennyj (Aug 9, 2004)

I thought I was all alone.

Having conceived my nine year old by mistake (from a previous relationship), I naturally assumed that I would be preganant within months of trying. After two years of my husband and I pretending its not really an issue, I had a fertility appointment and then a x-ray dye test which to my absolute shock and my consultants, showed that both my fallopian tubes are blocked. I am so distressed because I could feel all the right things happening to my body when I was ovulating and thought like my consultant that I just needed fertility pills to raise the odds in my favour, this HSG was meant to be purely procedural. 
I am waiting for a laparoscopy in October to find out what is going on but I am so frightened, firstly because they are going to operate on me and I dont know if Im going to wake up to something really bad or really simple so my emotions keep yo-yoing from the depths of doom to brushing it off as nothing, secondly because it is breaking my heart watching my husband pretend it really doesn't matter to him one way or the other and thirdly, I feel under such pressure to succeed (of my own making) like I am in some way letting my husband and my daughter down


----------



## Annie M (May 10, 2004)

Dear Jennyj

you are certainly not alone. In fact your message sounds very similar to my situation. I had a daughter sixteen years ago from another relationship. Started ttc with my husband 2 years ago only to find that i have a blocked tube and endometriosis. 

I have struggled to cope aswell and have found it helps to think of each step as a positive one as it will hopefully take you nearer to your goal of haveing a baby. I had a laparoscopy in Feb 04. Although I had a general anaesthetic i had very little symptoms afterwards and only 2 tiny holes. 

Whatever news you wake up to you must remember that you are not letting anybody down and by taking positive steps to find out why things are not happening you are doing the right thing both for yourself and your family.

If you read some of the stories on FF you will find that there are people with all sorts of problems but you will also see that there are a lot of people with issues like ours who are now pg or already have babies.

Dont give up hope and try to stay positive.

Love Annie


----------



## jennyj (Aug 9, 2004)

Annie,

Thank you, I have read a lot of the posts and it has comforted me, you are right the laparoscopy will be one step closer, I suppose at the moment Im in shock because there was no preamble to this, just your tubes are completely blocked, so its hard to come to terms with at the moment, especially as I dont even know how my tubes could have become blocked in the first place.

Jenny


----------



## Fee (May 8, 2003)

Give me a miracle as lovely as Jaqson please God
xxxxx


----------

