# just become a great aunti,dreading seeing baby



## lilacbunnykins (Mar 15, 2005)

My husbands 19yr old neice has just had a ababy boy,she fell pregnat accidently,which makes it worse,they all happy and although im happy for her im dreading going to see them,i know we will have to,sadly on monday i got  aletter from a consultant saying we could not be funded for free nhs ivf treatment,which we had had all tests for and was told we were both healthy and nothing was wrong with us,but hey they told me i was to old,took them 6 months to reply to us in which i became 40(cut of was 39)and used the "my husbands already got kids)which i know they now cannot use anymore,or so i was told,we going to apeal as we both angry way we were treated,prob wont get us anywhere but worth a try..so as you can see going to see her is going to break my heart as i know theres prob no way ill ever be a mum,as we cant afford to go private ...suppose ill have to take a deep breath go in smile,then cry once im in car!!


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## Maggie Mae (Mar 2, 2006)

LBK, 

We can all sympathise with you, knowing that your visit to see this baby won't be easy. All I can say is be easy on yourself, don't have high expectations of how long you can be there for, or how happy you can be for them; cut yourself some slack and get out of the situation as soon as you feel it's too much. If people don't understand, tough - they haven't been in your shoes....

Good luck, and let us know how you get on, and if it helps, think of us all 'propping you up' as you grimace your way through the visit!

Love, 

MM xxx


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Hi LBK,

MM's advice is so sound. Don't go for a marathon visit, maybe you should just say "we would like to pop round for a cuppa" so they don't expect you to stay long. 

I found that it was easier to meet a new baby when there wasn't going to be a whole load of other people visiting as that had the potential to add to the stress. (You never know what stupid remarks others may make, and the more people in a room, the more likelihood someone will say something that upsets you, either through insensitivity or becuse they don't know what is going on for you.) That's just me though, some people might find it easier to be in a crowd and leave the cooing and ahhing to the others.

Take care of yourself and keep in touch,

Love

Jq xxx


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Hi LBK

I see the other ladies have given you their pearls of wisdom. I can only add that perhaps it might help if you have a certain 'word' that you can use with your other half when visiting the new arrival if you feel things are getting too much for you. 

Take care, go gently hon

Love,
Emcee x


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## emmag (Mar 11, 2007)

emcee said:


> Hi LBK
> 
> perhaps it might help if you have a certain 'word' that you can use with your other half when visiting the new arrival if you feel things are getting too much for you.


I LOVE this idea!!!!! It's quite similar to something that DH and I do a lot - we use one of the cave diving rules : "_anyone _ can end the dive, at _any _ time, for _any _ reason". I love it so much and it means that if one of you wants to leave, there are no questions asked.


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## lilacbunnykins (Mar 15, 2005)

well got a txt this morn from hubbys siter we invited to hers this afternoon to see baby ,she going to do a little tea,good thing is we will only stay for few hours as hubby got to work tnt..so keep your fingers crossed that it wont be as bad as im expecting it to be.....sue


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## lilacbunnykins (Mar 15, 2005)

well i just got back,went better then i expected,all the family was there ,so didnt have to spend time with baby much,but had to have a cuddle,was ok thought i may have got upset,had bit of cry when got home,but glad i went....


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Well done Sue, that sure was a   I am so glad you coped really well. It should be abit easier next time. Lots of love

Jq xxx


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## Maggie Mae (Mar 2, 2006)

Good for you LBK, Big shout out!!!! MM xxx


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Well done Sue, I appreciate what an achievement this was for you  

Love,
Emcee x


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