# Looking at profiles/CPR's -How did choose your LO



## Nearly There (May 20, 2014)

Hi Everyone

I'm at the family finding stage and I've been looking at profiles and I've seen one CPR. I'm totally overwhelmed and wanted to ask you all - how did you choose?

I understand that I need to be comfortable that I can meet the LO's needs but with some profiles that are very similar what is your deciding factor?

I'd appreciate any help you can offer xx


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

We had two profiles that were very similar, two boys both aged 8 months, same hair colour, eye colour the works. But we got a gut feeling about the one profile. We saw pics of both boys and we still pulled towards this one particular profile. So we went with our gut. And pleased to say gut was right and that special boy is tucked up in his cot upstairs and official your son. 


Good luck nearly there xx


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## Nearly There (May 20, 2014)

Thanks Macgyver

I had a feeling that was what I would hear about - that gut feeling. Trouble is I'm not feeling that with any of them   what's worse is that I haven't a clue what to say to my SW, as she is waiting for feedback from me. I feel like such a fusspot but I'm not. I just can't imagine parenting the lovely LO's I've seen so far and I feel so dreadful. I just can't explain it


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Honestly you'll know when there's the one...

We saw some and for some reason as amazing as the child seemed some jumped out more than others. Whether it be an interest we share or a slight simple in the chin like hubby etc 

I found this part the worst, I used to email SW "awww he/she is so cute, we love that he enjoys X but just don't feel a connection then we'd always apologise about it an say how awful we feel :-/


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Nearly there, we too were 'gut' feeling people. We saw 1 and knew he was our son BUT there are so many wonderfully happy forever families who didn't get that 'gut' feeling. For many they just couldn't find a reason not to proceed as oppose to a definite feeling they should. There is no right or wrong way to do this. I believe it just depends on the type of person you are.

Our sw kept reiterating to us that we could pull out at anytime should we change our mind or our feelings change. Sometimes, meeting the FC really brings little ones to life and that is the time when people 'know'. 

Good luck xx


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

I echo Flash above. We saw several profiles & saw no reason not to ask for more information on several that we saw, after all profiles say very little & you can't go from the photos. When we did read the CPR's it did help bring the children to life a little & open our eyes. 
After reading our link's CPR we couldn't stop thinking about him; had I allowed myself to think with my heart I would have had a 'that's my son!' moment but I wouldn't let myself think like that worrying about rejection etc. As hard as I tried not to though I couldn't help compare other profiles to his & I really didn't like doing that. 

Luckily things are working out & we will go to MP in Aug. So I would say maybe just request more info/cpr's as that could have an effect on you like it did us, or put to rest in your mind that they are not the LO for you. You will find some SW's don't even reply to you your requests for the cpr x


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

All I can sugegst is that you get yourself out of the house and invited onto an Exchange Day,  there you can see several profiles, photos and videos.  With the extra choice you'll be able to hone down what your requirements are.

Good luck.


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## Dawn7 (Sep 10, 2013)

Hi Nearly There,

We were lucky as our sw found the LO's we're heading towards Matching panel to have, by our sw the week before we went to adoption panel.

What she did first was to tell us all about what she knew, there was uncertainty but both LO's are hitting milestones, but everything just felt positive and so right and the weird thing DH felt exactly the same.

We were then shown a pic (agree with Mafergal, don't go by a pic as ours was well out of date and they look nothing like the pic we have lol) and we thought they were adorable. So we are now heading to MP in August 6 weeks and 6 days today and me and DH know these children are for us, u will know too. I'd say my head and heart said yes, more than my gut lol

We did an exercise with our sw about the child we wanted, we had to describe how they looked and what their personalities would be like, maybe u and ur partner could do this and when u look at a CPR, u could look at the similarities along with the list of medical issues u would of done with sw discussing what issues u would accept.

Hope this helps xx


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## Nearly There (May 20, 2014)

Thanks for all your invaluable responses. 

I was really struggling with this part of the process and found myself riddled with guilt   so I really appreciate your feedback. 

My preference was always for a little girl but I didn't want to completely rule out a boy so I opened my mind to both. However all but one of the profiles I received have been for older boys.  They were all really cute but just didn't feel right for me. Well I slept on it and came to the realisation that as my heart is really set on a little girl I will always have doubts about any boy I look at. 

I told my SW that I've decided to concentrate my search on my hearts desire. She mentioned that it may take longer and that a girl may have more complex needs. However this is a really important decision and I'm prepared to wait for the right LO for me.  Who knows in a couple of months I may feel differently but right now this is what I'm feeling. 

Thanks again xx


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## purplexed (Feb 18, 2011)

We looked at ALOT of profiles before choosing. I too had read a lot about how you "just know" when it's the right one and TBH I thought it was a load of nonsense! I took a rather cold analytical approach to our family finding, looking at the age of the children, colouring, health issues and personalities of the birth parents. I tried to keep all emotion out of it! But that all went out the window when I saw my sons CPR and photo! He had all sorts of possible medical issues, was small for his age and had developmental delay...BUT....I KNEW HE WAS THE ONE! It hit me right between the eyes! This was our son and he is now fast asleep in his cot having been home for a year! He is PERFECT and I wouldn't change a thing. Good luck xx


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## Nearly There (May 20, 2014)

Ahh Purplexed what a lovely story. Thanks for sharing xx


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