# New here, 43, and running out of ideas!



## toni63 (May 4, 2007)

Hi!  I found FF this morning when searching for resources for women 40+ who hope to conceive.  It is heartwarming to read so many success stories!

I'm nearly 44 and have never been able to conceive.  I had problems in my teens and been diagnosed with various issues:

endometriosis (2 surgeries for this 15 yrs ago)
ovarian cysts (2 drained during above surgeries)
cystic ovaries and possibly LUFS (consultant said cystic ovaries but not PCOS ?? )

DH and I couldn't afford IVF for many years.  When we finally had the funds, I was referred to a private fertility clinic, but the consultant said my chances of conception were so low he didn't recommend treatment.  A few years passed and we moved, so I asked my new GP for a referral to a different private fertility clinic, but the consultant there said that although he would offer up to 4 cycles he felt I would not conceive.  We didn't proceed with IVF because of the absolutely glum outlook given by the consultant, but now we're both realising that we desperately want a child.

My FSH level was about 13 at that time (18 months ago), which doesn't seem particularly high from what I'm seeing here.  I know I'm hitting that lovely age when menopause is imminent, so chances are it's higher now.

So, my question is, where do we turn and what do we try?  Are DE and adoption our only options, or is there anything at all that I can do to improve my chance of conceiving using my own eggs?  There is no male factor present; the problems are all mine.  None of this, of course, stops me from driving myself crazy every month wondering if this is "our month" and looking for all sorts of symptoms!  

Thanks,
Toni


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

Hi.

I think maybe the best thing might be to have some counselling and try to decide what aspect of parenthood is most important to you both. For some, it's the genetic link to oneor both. For others, it's pregnancy.

Although women do conceive with highish FSH (mine is about 11, and I have had many natural pregnancies in the last 3 yeasr) I understand the response to IVF can be poor, and so it's not necessarily any more effective than trying naturally. On the other hand, separate to the FSH issue, our increased age makes miscarriage more likely, that's my problem, I have had 7 and it's the reason I am now doing DE. I am lucky as I have my DS already. For me, it's the experience of pregnancy which guarantees I will be mother to any DE child.

Click on my blog, I have listed some DE resources (books) and there is a whole donor board here on FF if you want to join us and chat about the issues.

Good luck in deciding what direction to take.

One point, if you want to be a mother, you probably will be, eventually, taking one path or another. 
http://www.thefertilesoul.com/Diagnosis/Taking_Your_Life_Off_Hold.php

There are also things that can be done to lower FSH - DHEA, acupuncture and chinese medicine. Have a look here:

http://www.thefertilesoul.com/Diagnosis/FSH/

xx

/links


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## BG (May 23, 2006)

Hi there !! We were very much the same, waited for IVF on NHS for years and had 1st go when I was 41.  I used Puregon, got 17 follicles but no eggs.  I was so shocked and could not believe it.  Went straight in for try no 2 but had to pay this time, and fortunately had saved enough to do this.  Used menopur this time, had a bad response with follicles but had 10 eggs.  Had a bpf, but lost at 6.5 weeks.  A year later, I will be 43 in August, we went to my local hosp for a consultation and I basically wanted closure, what I got was something different!  I was told of the option of DHEA, started on 25mg for 3 weeks before treatment for IUI and also took Wheatgrass.  My FHS was 9.8.  Continued taking DHEA, up to 75mg, had no side effects what so ever and used menopur again.  I have actually had a better response than what they thought, and I had about 5/6 follicles instead of 2/3 but they have left them.  On my tww, one down one to go before test!!  So, in a nutshell..... I dont know whether it was the wheatgrass that lowered my FSH levels and whether the DHEA gave me such a good response, but its not over yet!!! I hope you find a consultant that will give you some positive news.  Good luck !!!


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## toni63 (May 4, 2007)

Thank you for the suggestions!  I am looking into acupuncture/TCM and DHEA while DH and I talk further about our options.  He told me the other day that he is very uncomfortable about the possibility of genetic issues given my age and isn't sure he wants to conceive a child of our own, and I'm not sure how I feel about DE.  I'm hoping that somehow I can coerce my body into cooperating and letting us have our miracle baby, as slim as the chance may be!


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Toni,

I just wanted to wish you luck and to say don't rule out DE, it does give those of us over 40 a much better chance of success and there are a lot of ladies on these boards who've got their long awaited BFPs this way.

It's certainly something my DH and I are considering.

CG xxxx


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