# Newby, feeling very overwhelmed



## ElleKay21 (Nov 1, 2013)

Hi
We have recently had it confirmed that my husband is infertile (or as close to it as he can be)
We are both devastated and feeling so overwhelmed. My emotions are all over the place from disappointment, anger, hurt, loss etc. At first we had ruled out using donor sperm as my husband was very against it and we had thought about adoption. I really want to have our baby and although it wouldn't biologically be my husband's, he would be the one raising it with me. He is worried that he might resent the child at some point.

We have been talking it over and we have now decided to look further into donor sperm. I contacted the urologist that had diagnosed my husband and ask him to refer us to Glasgow Royal.

What happens now? How long will it be before they contact us? We want to have counselling, do we do this through them? What will the actual procedure be? 

I know that I need to get my bmi down to 30 which is going to be a challenge due to health problems but I want to be in the best position possible. 

I would really appreciate anyone who has been through the same process sharing their story. I only found out about this site yesterday and am slowly working my way through all the posts.

Thanks in advance x


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## Josie1 (Sep 30, 2013)

Does your husband have a very very low count? If so there is still things they can do x


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## ElleKay21 (Nov 1, 2013)

Hi

That's what we had hoped but the consultant advised us that there just wasn't enough that could be used and that the tiny amount was not good quality enough to use for treatment   so it would not be worth our while trying to use it. My husband had two major operations 'down there' as a child and although he was told there should be no problems we had always had the doubt at the back of our mind when we started trying for a baby.


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## Josie1 (Sep 30, 2013)

Big hugs  

Could they not extract sperm and try icsi? X


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## Bibbidi (Mar 15, 2013)

Hi ElleKay, my DH and I were given the definite result of no sperm in January this year and are going down the route of using donor sperm.  We're having treatment at Ninewells in Dundee so not sure of processes at Glasgow Royal but we had characteristics done - our hair colours, eye colours, bloods for me to see if CMV - or + to then use for matching us to a donor.  We've also had counselling through the unit & DH has been attending regularly on his own over the last few months talking a lot of things through.

There is a shortage of donors, which can lead to delays in starting treatment but this can vary by clinic.  Once started, it's the same IVF process just donor sperm used at the necessary point.

I hope my very brief response helps a little - Wishing you all the best and I'll try to answer any other questions you might have

xx


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## ElleKay21 (Nov 1, 2013)

Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it x 


Bibbidi said:


> Hi ElleKay, my DH and I were given the definite result of no sperm in January this year and are going down the route of using donor sperm. We're having treatment at Ninewells in Dundee so not sure of processes at Glasgow Royal but we had characteristics done - our hair colours, eye colours, bloods for me to see if CMV - or + to then use for matching us to a donor. We've also had counselling through the unit & DH has been attending regularly on his own over the last few months talking a lot of things through.
> 
> There is a shortage of donors, which can lead to delays in starting treatment but this can vary by clinic. Once started, it's the same IVF process just donor sperm used at the necessary point.
> 
> ...


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## Waitingforsande (Jul 4, 2011)

Hi Ellekay,

We are very similar to you. My DH was diagnosed with non obstructive Azoospermia as he had zero to 6 sperm every time he gave a sample ( and we thought 6 was amazing!). He had a surgical sperm retrieval at Glasgow Royal in Sept last year and they found nothing, nada not one sperm. We saw Isabel the counsellor there to discuss donor sperm and she is amazing! However, we also sought a second opinion from Mr Ramsay in London who said the fact there was ever 1 sperm means the germ cells that make sperm must be working some where in there! He put my DH on Tamoxifen (a drug used for Breast Cancer patients and not available on the NHS for male infertility) and he went from zero sperm to 1000 in 13 weeks! I am now 30 weeks pregnant after ICSI.

You may want to explore it further as even the Urologist at the Royal said my DH would never have his own children and it turned out that he took 6 biopsies at his surgical retrieval when the recommended minimum is 20! Mr Ramsay put it that we were looking for a tadpole in the ocean so the Urologist doing it has to be very experienced and from what we have seen there aren't any in Scotland!

Good luck!

X x x


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