# Miserable



## kjones (Feb 7, 2007)

Hi everyone I have just finished my first try at IVF and got a negative result.  Dr has told me that the chances of success are less than 20% because of my high hormone levels.

I am totally devastated and cant seem to pick myself up and move on.  I am just miserable all the time.  My DH has been great but I dont think he knows what to say to me.

I am due to start another course of tx at the beginning of April and am dreading it.  But I owe it to myself and my DH to give it another go.  I keep telling myself that 20% is better than nothing but I just dont feel as though it will ever happen for me.

I have started looking into adoption but feel sad as this is like admitting it will never happen for me.  I have a very good friend who has offered egg donation or the use of her womb with my eggs but I dont think this would work cause I dont think my eggs are of the best quality.

Just feel stuck in a rut.  Cant motivate myself to do anything.  Just feel useless.  DH is away working for the next 10 days and I am worried I am just going to sink further into depression.

Cant talk to family as I live in Cyprus so I can only really chat on here.

Sorry for the gloom and doom but I guess you all know how I am feeling.

Kerry
xxx


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## Pickle_99_uk (Dec 12, 2005)

Hi Kerry, 

The way you are feeling is completly normal after a BFN.  We pin all of our hopes on this process so when it doesnt work is natural to feel so low.  You have said yourself that 20% is better than nothing and thats a thought worth hanging on to.  You might feel differently about another treatment when you have time to get over this one.  Your body has been through alot - emotionally and physically - over the last few weeks so look after yourself and allow it to heal.  We have just had our third BFN and I'm just about coping but I know that time will help.  Sorry i cant offer any more advice but I do know how you feel and I hope your dream comes true one day.  take care,

Tracy xxx


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## girlie (Jan 17, 2007)

Kerry

I know exactly how you are feeling, we too had our 1st ICSI in oct/nov 06 and had a BFN. we only had 3 follies with one egg in them.  I too have high FSH levels they are currently 18.8, my doc has advised us to try the donor route as she said our chances were 1% using my own eggs, it is the most devestating thing to be told and we have decided to have a 6 month break to try and get our heads round everything.

Time does make things better but its not easy and I do still have bad days where I post on here and have a good whinge!! but there are so many fantastic people on this site who totally understand what you are going through and how you feel and are always here to offer support and advice.

Just wanted to wish you lots of love and luck and hugs for your next cycle and really do hope you get the BFP that you want, and remember any time you want to talk we are all here!!!

xxxx


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