# ** Please Help** At what age should i give up???



## Becky39 (May 17, 2008)

Hi ladies,

Its been a while since i have been here. I hope u are all well ... xx

I have a quick question! Or more - i would like your opinion ...

I am 41 and already have done IVF 3 times and ICSI the once. 

All were bfn's apart from our 3rd go, but it sadly resulted in a m/c @ 8 weeks.

After our 4th go, we decided to 'give up' and look into adoption. We applied for adoption and read all the info pack, but my heart isnt in adoption, i want to 'try again' before we deff go down that route. I know we cant proceed with the adoption should we still want to try again with IVF.

As i am 41 i wanted to find out what u ladies thought about this. Should we just 'give up' and accept we will never have a child of our own, or should we keep fighting ... 

Here are the jist of my other cycles...

1st ivf 2006(Origin) - 12 eggs = bfn
2nd ivf 2008(different drugs @ the royal) - 1 egg = bfn 
3rd ivf 2008(Origin) - 15 eggs - 5xfert = BFP (no HB @ 8 wks scan)
April 2008 - Hysteroscopy @ private clinic - all clear
4th icsi 2008 (Origin) - 5 eggs - 3xfert = bfn
In all the times i have been at Origin, my drugs have always been the same 300iu gonal f. 
I have asked if we go again to do the short protocol and start stimms on day 1 of period, this way its more natural, and also i asked for drugs to be upped as the last go we only had 5 eggs - but had either an egg or a cyst showing at last scan which was 5cm. (this was eating the drugs hense the less eggs than normal) 
At our follow up Sami couldnt tell us if it was a cyst or if he had an egg from it, onlly that he drained it!!!

Your honest advise please ladies .... what would you do

Thanks Xxxx


----------



## plusone (Jan 27, 2009)

I am sure you know that no one can give you the answer to your question only you can decide.  Would you be willing to try other ivf option such as using egg donor? Or embryo donor? It is hard when there is know clear reason why things are not working for you.  And you need no one to tell you as you get older the chances are less.  You need to do what is best for you as a family.  Good luck in you journey whatever path it takes.

Plusone


----------



## eibhlin (Mar 4, 2009)

Hi Becky,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your little one.  I'm also very sorry that you haven't had better luck with your cycles    sending you some fairydust for luck   

I know what you mean about taking decisions in relation to treatment, sometimes I wish someone would come up to DH and me and give us a map so we could find our way through this!  Like plusone said though, it's very much your own decision and depends on what you feel as a couple is the best thing for you.  There's no right or wrong answer.  In your message you said that you want to give it one more go before considering adoption or other options?  

Best of luck with your decision making and hope you and DH are minding each other!  

take care

xx


----------



## Bunny-kins (Oct 3, 2008)

Hi Becky,

Reading your post I think you know in your heart what you want to do. You're not ready to give up yet and if you and DH feel you want to carry on then go for it!!!    Plusone has given some good advice about donor egg option, it's something to think about for the future maybe? Aww hun, I wish you all the very best for the future..what ever you decide  

Bunny xx


----------



## boboboy (Feb 29, 2008)

Hi,
Well I think like the others have said that you have alreayd made your mind up to try again.
The way I looked at it was I didn't want to leave it till it was too late for anything and regret that I didn't try all the options open to me.  Adoption was not an option for us as DH was just not into it .  We then found out about DE and within 2 years of finding out about it we are blessed to have our beautiful girls.

So my advice would be to do your research before heading back to your clinic - I was one of those who had lots of intentions of asking loads of questions then came out with no answers and feeling as useless as ever.  Ask about different meds, ask about different protocols and dont leave till your completely happy with the answers your given.

Bst of luck mrs

BoBo


----------

