# Hello everyone!



## Red66 (Apr 11, 2006)

Hi everyone. There are such a lot of interesting threads on this board, it's very helpful just looking them over. But I'm starting to feel the need to talk to people with similar experiences now and I missed our recent support group meeting. So let me tell you more about my situation.

I turned 40 in January, though as we all say, I don't feel it. Have been ttc for 3 years now. So that means when I first went to my doctor I was 37, thought I still had 3 years of NHS treatment ahead of me but of course, with all the 6 months' waiting here, 6 months there I've ended up with 6 cycles of clomid since Nov last and goodbye. How frustrating! I've never had any problems with my cycle, never had any pregnancies of any kind. We did all the tests and no problems. My DP has never had any issue either or scares even so we're blank canvases. What do they say? 'unexplained'!

We saw the fertility doctor for our second appointment for 10 seconds yesterday, he seemed more interested in telling me I could now come to him for 'private treatment' for IVF and IUF than being apologetic that 40 is the cut-off date for treatment in my county. I just feel so stupid for not getting into it all earlier. I've got 14 nephews and nieces and even one great niece! So I feel like I'm letting the family down (one of my sisters has 5!).

Also now we're starting to get tension between me and my DP. No matter how much you say you're not going to turn into one of those women who just focus on day 14 or 15 etc for lovemaking, suddenly you are and you realise you're not interested in it the rest of the month. Does anyone else feel like that?  

I don't think chaps realise how important it is, especially to me now that I've only got one month of NHS treatment left and now have to look into costs for IVF etc. It's very easy for them to say 'oh I'm really tired tonight, I don't want to, I don't feel up to it' and my insides are going 'AAARRRGGHHHH, what do you mean I've got 3 lovely bouncy eggs coming down, don't waste them!!!'. Ahem.

It's so good to be able to discuss this with others who may understand what I'm feeling, I hope I haven't offended anybody. No matter how much my friends and family support me, I can't discuss this bit with them. (not without 3 vodkas under my belt, and I know how much we're supposed to be not drinking THEM!). And I finally broke down last night in tears after another night of 'performing to order' and he didn't know what to do with me.

Any tips for dealing with this side of things folks?

Thanks for listening.

Louise


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## poppy05 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi there
sorry to hear you have been having a tough time

just wanted to ask you, have to actually had a cylce of ivf yet? 

our infertility was unexplained all we knew was that it was me and not dh.

but once i had had a cylce of ivf they found out that my eggs were letting more than one sperm in and so fertilisation wasnt taking place.

9 years of tears and arguing and i finally found out why
im due to start icsi in a couple of month, try a different method this time.

we were told that sometimes it takes a cycle of ivf treatment to find out things that other tests cant pick up on.

i hope you get some answers soon 
Danni x


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## Red66 (Apr 11, 2006)

Thanks Danni.

No, not really had any treatment yet except the clomid and injections for 5 months. So I'm still in the early days! Although I have been undergoing acupuncture every week for 2 months, that's great! Along with 52 little herbal pills a day and some revolting herbal tea! (Chinese medicine).

But it's good to know that IVF might show up any other problems. Now just need to find out costs!

Thanks.

Louise


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## KW33 (Apr 10, 2006)

Red

Stick with it!!

It's awful and yes I feel the same... my DP comes back from work after I have got a positive OPK and says he's "not in the mood!!!" ARGHHHHH!!!  I want to kill him!!!   lol  Of course I don't and I smile sweetly but inside I'm crying thinking of a potentially wasted month.  That is part of the problem though when ttc we swallow so much of our feelings so as not to upset or offend others.

Also find it amazing how I can suddenly - after years of not giving it a second thought - be aware of what cd it is without even thinking about it... we live and breathe it really... i often wish I could take the part of my brain that thinks aboutttc out and forget it... if only!!!

If you want to vent you go right ahead!!!!!


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## Red66 (Apr 11, 2006)

aarrgghhh, grrwooowwwllll, ooohhhahhhhhhahhhahahah!

That's much better thank you! Now we should all try it ladies, 123 after me.... big breath.....

(but don't forget to check who's around you first!)


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## KW33 (Apr 10, 2006)

Ok... that's me!!! lol


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## Red66 (Apr 11, 2006)

I like the last 3 for our DPs....


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## KW33 (Apr 10, 2006)

Oooh yes... he is definately driving me   today!!!


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

*Louise (Red66)*

What Can I say 

Welcome to FF your really are in great company!

I am sorry to learn you are "unexplained" and that your Dh is not taking his part in all of this seriously ( OPK + he says no  )

Although I do think that eveyone TTC go's through a period in their relationship when this becomes an issue, and Like ? says switching of that part of our brain is Impossible!

If you havent already found them there are some great places within FF to post and meet others in a fairly same situation to you,

I will leave some links, you could also save the main index page to your favorites and check back there often, look all the way down and (the hearts are pink when something new is posted in that area since you last visited  )

Links....

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/board,163.0.html

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/board,3.0.html

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/board,111.0.html

You may find a thread in meeting places for your area or clinic too, try a search.....

Wishing you lots of    & 

*~Dizzi~*


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi louise and welcome to ff - this is a fantastic site and i hope u get lots of support and advice on here like i have

Sorry to hear that u are having a tough time - it seems so unfair at times but dont ever give up hope

Kate


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## Red66 (Apr 11, 2006)

Thanks for your support ladies and for the links Dizzi. I'm off for some interesting reading!  

BTW what does the little chap with the cross over his head signify??!

Red


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Not sure which Chap you mean....... 
 do you mean this one 

If so is POSITIVE ENERGY its a powerful smiley 
~Dizzi~


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## Red66 (Apr 11, 2006)

Thanks that makes sense! He's really concentrating hard for us! I see what my problem was now, I didn't notice that we'd gone on to a second page on this thread and repeated my message. 

Thanks!


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

no worries all sorted now and the duplicated message is gone -

Have fun

~Dizzi~


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## evieg1983 (Apr 14, 2006)

Im so glad im not the only one!! We are in very early days and have only just been referred to hospital but even when we were using ovulation sticks my Dbf would suddenly feel under the weather or tired, at one stage i think he was pretending to be asleep!!! Dont mind but the other 3 weeks of the month he seems more than happy to oblige!!! I really dont think they get the precision timing thing do they?!!


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## steph33 (Mar 11, 2006)

hi louise 
if u go on the thread that says relationships sex & bms,
i have put 2 post on there as ive been in the same bout as u and it nearlly destroyed my relationship 
and i give credit to this site coz i think this wot has saved my relationship 
there are a few women on that thread that have been where u are now or are still there

i hopw all goes well for u with both treatment (tx) and getting ur relationship bak to wot it was b4 u started ttc 

take care and good luck steph


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