# Do you know the names of these three women...?



## Perkins2

Does anyone know the names of these three women? The first one is the women who got pregnant after she stopped trying; the second is the woman who conceived naturally after failed ivf; the third is the one who found herself pregnant when she started the adoption process. 
My friends/family/work colleagues all seem to know them but don't know their names. They are friends of a friend apparently.


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## crystaldaisy

Perkins2 said:


> Does anyone know the names of these three women? The first one is the women who got pregnant after she stopped trying; the second is the woman who conceived naturally after failed ivf; the third is the one who found herself pregnant when she started the adoption process.
> My friends/family/work colleagues all seem to know them but don't know their names. They are friends of a friend apparently.


Lol if you do find out please let me know, they might have some tips.


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## ELKA82

LOL There might be forth one. Friend of a friend of a friend, who had 11 failed ivf and then got pregnant naturally with twins.


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## Lilly83

I genuinely know someone who ....


4 people who got pregnant right before IVF, I mean litterally the month before they started injections or between cycles 

1 person who had zero fert IVF then caught naturally month after 

L xx


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## Perkins2

Lilly I think my friend knows two of those people, either that or she likes to repeat the same story to me over again!!
Crystal - I have heard a tip from these women via my friends "they just relaxed and stopped stressing" (said in a really patronising voice)


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## sarahsuperdork

I do genuinely know...

One lady who had her first with IVF and her second came along naturally.
One lady who had a surprise natural BFP after failed IVF.
One lady who had a happy natural miracle just before starting IVF. 

I wish it were as common as the "friend of a friend" stories make out though!


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## Lilly83

Check this out I got on ********, it was from someone I don't know well and hadn't spoken to before 


Hi Lauren

Are you still having IVF? 

My mum was told she would never conceive, she cried an absolute river, so my dad  said lets just move to America and have a brilliant life.so they moved to Chicago, 3 months later she got pregnant xxx

Clearly stress is a big game player

My cousin was told she couldn't have children. They moved to Florida, now have triplets xx

Well my cousin is a nurse believe it or not, RTA nurse in Clearwater Florida. Her husband was just a factory worker, he's now a firefighting paramedic!! And they now have triplets xx


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## crystaldaisy

Perkins2 said:


> Lilly I think my friend knows two of those people, either that or she likes to repeat the same story to me over again!!
> Crystal - I have heard a tip from these women via my friends "they just relaxed and stopped stressing" (said in a really patronising voice)


Ah... Thank you! I've never tried that


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## K jade

I don't know about others but I find those stories particularly hard to take, mainly because I'm in that small group of people where natural conception IS impossible. Not psychological, not stress related, not down to an Ill advised medical opinion but 110% impossible. 
To me the concept of conceiving normally belongs to another species of people off another planet!


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## MandyPandy

I'm afraid I'm one of those people. I fit the bill for all 3, but rather than adoption it was surrogacy.   

As soon as I got pg with DD there was a huge chorus of: 'I TOLD YOU SO!'  I still get it.  Apparently everyone else was right and all I had to do was relax. It had nothing to do with a complete change of lifestyle and thyroid medication (including T3) after finding a specialist who could help treat my Hashimoto's (that I would not have known about if not for years of IF investigations) together with immune tx once I did miraculously manage to conceive.


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## Handstitchedmum

Lilly83 said:


> My mum was told she would never conceive, she cried an absolute river, so my dad said lets just move to America and have a brilliant life.so they moved to Chicago, 3 months later she got pregnant xxx
> ...
> My cousin was told she couldn't have children. They moved to Florida, now have triplets xx


I will let you know if America causes Brits to become superfertile. DH and I are going there for his job this year!


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## marty123

Perkins2 said:


> Does anyone know the names of these three women? The first one is the women who got pregnant after she stopped trying; the second is the woman who conceived naturally after failed ivf; the third is the one who found herself pregnant when she started the adoption process.
> My friends/family/work colleagues all seem to know them but don't know their names. They are friends of a friend apparently.


Hello, Perkins2! This would be really exciting to know even one of them  I do feel happy about people who find the way out of all this in such a surprising way but still haven't met a single.. This absolutely might get on women like us who're trying and doing their best even somehow to boost the chances reading about those who get pregnant just accidently.. This is so unfair I should say. And I hate people saying (they know what problem we have been facing together with my DH) "Try to relax, take it easy, stress doesn't play on your side....." And now just tell HOW can one be less stressed and relaxed?? Just stop trying and you'll get pregnant??
I think this is a different sort of understanding. Women struggling (me as well) cannot take such miracles for granted, unfortunately, as they haven't worked for us  We're passing our 2nd round of de ivf in biotexcom (5 att altogether) right now. We're trying to think positively about the next round. But one thing is for sure - we'll try everything but not stop and wait for the miracle!! 
With all my heart I wish those three women all the best, but have my fingers crossed for all us surviving on this path. Hugs girls


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## TreeHugger

I am one of those ladies that fell after our second failed ivf cycle. Last April we decided to concentrate on moving house, getting fit and saving for our next ivf cycle. 3 months afterwards I found out I was pg. After trying for so long and having to deal with the constant hope and despair cycle that IF puts us through it was a relief to take the pressure off while we saved up for the next round. We never expected to fall naturally. I really do understand how you feel and sending hugs to all xx


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## magicpillow

I'm in the group where natural conception is impossible too so I hate these stories (although good for them etc!).


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## Anuh

Perkins i was told the same thing... It was worst after i suffered a miscarriage where different people say my sis in law had a miscarriage and then she was preganant naturally had the baby.... Its like so many people trying to make u feel better by saying stupid stuff!! 

Now i have had five ivfs, four failed, last one success however miscarried at 14.5 weeks in december 15

Three months later i found my self naturally pregnant march 2016. still not in the all clear due to my very complex immunes but i am being monitored. So i am one of those women. Failed ivfs, took a break before new ivf and naturally pregnant. Me and dh r still shocked as we never used condoms for 10 years, and me for no protection sex with my previous partner since 18. 

We never expected to fall pregnant naturally.. My immune doc dr gorgy said that some immune drugs may have still being in system hence i fell pregnant... And in that clinic this has happened to many women as we sort the immune system first before new cycle and fall pregnant before cycle starts. Its a miracle with alot of meds.. 

I know how u feel and really hate when people sometimes take this journey so lightly. And say relax when u give up it will happen no if i give up it will never happen. I started being harsher to people lately. Specially after miscarriage. 

Lots of luck to all xoxo 

Perkins hope ur dreams will come true...


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## -x-Lolly-x-

I am also one of those women. We tried for 6 years. 2 years with a previous partner. We adopted and within 6 weeks I was pregnant. I hated that I was one of 'those stories'. They bugged the hell out of me and were so upsetting and now my story would hurt others. What also really got to me  was when I told people they all said 'I knew as soon as you'd adopt you'd fall pregnant' and 'now you've got all you wanted'. No my daughter was all I wanted, my pregnancy was simply an unexpected bonus. It was a stressful time though, my girlies adoption wasn't finalised, birth mum then contested, my waters broke at 26 weeks and then my son was premature and had lots of difficulties. I guess we all have our stories. My heart goes out to you all still waiting, much love xxx


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## Keeping busy

Eleka; I am 11 rounds of fertility treatment,  then stopped and naturally conceived twins....


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## Turia

Sorry Perkins, don't know your three women but do know one of Lily's!  My sister got a positive pregnancy test the day she had her first appointment at the clinic to discuss IVF.  My niece is now 4  

Turia x


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## Faithope

10yrs TTC, 1 MC in that time, turned to IVF, was successful on our 4th tx. No longer needed to try as we had our miracle and along came a natural BFP, no stress, not trying, just no contraception (same as our 10yr TTC no contraception). He was born. Again we didn't use contraception as miracles don't come along in 3's. Natural BFP. This time instead of saying 'we told you if you relax it will happen' we got 'tie a knot in it' 'are you stupid?' Then we had a scan and our baby was dead. A miracle baby for us, a joke for others. I am hurting so much that this baby was seen as 'another one!?' I suffered years of infertility and losses. I hope that my history would give hope to others, not rub salt into wounds. There is always hope.


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## ELKA82

Massive congratulations Keeping busy!!!!!! R u staying in Aberdeen?  I am really happy to hear stories like this. Unfortunatly not going to happen here


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## Dallydoll

I'm one of these woman, 6 yrs ttc, told no chance basically, 2 failed Ivfs, two amazing babies from my FET and then a total shock natural bfp after stopping breast feeding my youngest. I'm getting all "told you so, you just needed to relax" etc and it's doing my head in. All those times I heard about these women from others when in the pit of despair for those 6 years and now I'm going to be one that people talk about to others. It's very strange suddenly becoming a fertile infertile person, I do feel very  guilty. But I seriously never thought for one second it would happen, having to have open surgery because the doctor could not to keyhole due to the mess of my insides I just don't know how we managed it 10 years later and three stone heavier than when we first started ttc. Wishing lots of luck and love to everyone. Xx


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## crystaldaisy

Dallydoll said:


> I'm one of these woman, 6 yrs ttc, told no chance basically, 2 failed Ivfs, two amazing babies from my FET and then a total shock natural bfp after stopping breast feeding my youngest. I'm getting all "told you so, you just needed to relax" etc and it's doing my head in. All those times I heard about these women from others when in the pit of despair for those 6 years and now I'm going to be one that people talk about to others. It's very strange suddenly becoming a fertile infertile person, I do feel very guilty. But I seriously never thought for one second it would happen, having to have open surgery because the doctor could not to keyhole due to the mess of my insides I just don't know how we managed it 10 years later and three stone heavier than when we first started ttc. Wishing lots of luck and love to everyone. Xx


Don't feel guilty, Why would you feel guilty?! Unfortunately for some people a natural BFP can never be possible (myself included as my husband has no sperm) but for those it can happen for it's amazing. Congratulations. xx


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## MandyPandy

K jade said:


> I guess there is always a chance no matter how miniscule for the majority of IF couples
> But it's important to remember that there are a significant group who are tubeless /womb less /sperm less /ovary less.. Basically missing the vital ingredients or apparatus and for us we have to live with the fact there is no hope beyond treatment. Nor will there ever be any hope.
> Accepting there will never be that miracle no matter how small your chances is a tough pill to swallow


I don't think anyone is disputing that.  There are always going to be cases where sheer biology means it is never going to happen.

It was always hard for me to understand why people felt the need to comment on it at all. It was as if they were trying to make themselves feel better in an awkward situation by filling the silence with false platitudes.

No matter what your position, anyone else mentioning that someone else had success after giving up/walking away/relaxing, etc., is thoughtless at best. It's no-one else's position to comment. It used to absolutely kill me when people said it to me. My standard response was: 'Well that's bloody marvellous for them but I'm not sure how on earth it is relevant to me.'

Myself and a few of the other ladies are merely responding to the OP.


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## -x-Lolly-x-

A very sensitive emotive subject. I still find it terribly upsetting that I will cause hurt to some woman at the supermarket, doctors surgery, swimming pool. I am now the woman that I used to look at and envy, that I used to think how good they have it and how easily it came to others. It stung so badly and I wanted to scream 'do you know how lucky you are?!' But now I know that everyone has their story and no one (generally) sets out to hurt others. It's so tough, and I still hate that I am one of those stories! Hugs to all, what a diverse group of wonderful women we are xxx


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## Miss Sunshine22

I know several of these women. My good friend fell pregnant (she lives in the States, we may be onto something there  ) after 7 yrs of trying, just before starting IVF. Same to a colleague in work. My sister-in-law got lucky naturally after IVF1, as did another colleague in work. But it's a lovely thing to happen and no one should ever feel guilty for it happening to them. It brings hope to so many people.

I'm also one of those for whom a miracle bfp will never happen. It's hard to hear, when people say "you never know ..." I even got the "there's always a chance" from a new nurse at my clinic who wasn't familiar with my case. Nope, there's no chance, so please don't say otherwise. I guess people are just trying to be positive.


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## Perkins2

Well I'm glad to see some of these women actually exist! & no one should ever feel guilty for being one. I'd shout it from the roof tops!
It's annoying tho when people give you advice without knowing your medical history. I've had a friend ask me if I'd consider using my sisters eggs...erm...no!..& how do you know it's a problem with my eggs. Another has told me she'd lend me her womb but she didn't quite know if she'd be able to give the baby away... Yes thanks for that, but again what makes you think it's my womb that's the problem. Then there's my friend who obviously thinks I should just give up because, I quote 'my midwife said that some couples just aren't compatible'. Sometimes I wish I'd kept the Ivf between me & my OH!!


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## K jade

Oh my goodness, so somewhere out there there's a midwife who also fancies herself as a reproductive  medicine expert! 
People really should stick within their remit 

I agree I would never feel guilty if I was one of these women, why would I, 
It's great when anyone who has had the misfortune of this journey gets a miracle. We all deserve it after all 
Xx


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## Shamrock.

When I was going through my failed ivf cycles I used to hate hearing those stories of miracle natural conception after years of ivf. I thought they were either just made up stories or that the couple involved probably had unexplained infertility so there was really no reason they hadn't conceived before. I thought great for them if it's true but it will never happen to me and it made me feel lower rather than gave me hope.

Myself and DH ttc naturally for 2 years before getting tests done, I was diagnosed with very low AMH of 1.50pmol and immune issues. DH was diagnosed with very low sperm count of only 1 million swimmers, very low motility, very high DNA frag and most of his swimmers were abnormal looking. Conception seemed impossible even with ICSI. 

We did 4 failed rounds of OE/OS including one m/c and we tried all the immune treatments we could including humira and lit treatment before deciding to move to donor eggs and sperm to give us our best chance of finally having a healthy baby. Our first DD round was successful and we finally had our beautiful little girl. 

When she was only 4 months old and I was now 41 yrs old I became pregnant naturally. I wasn't even tacking ovulation because we had totally given up on ttc. The absolute shock that it had happened to me was indescribable. I cried (happy tears) for weeks because I couldn't believe it had happened. I couldn't believe I was now one of those women I had heard about before and didn't believe about. I was very lucky to have a healthy pregnancy and give birth to our little boy. 

It must be really hard for those who have a total absence of one of the vital ingredients i.e. Eggs, sperm, womb or tubes to hear these stories so my heart goes out to you all and I hope that you will get your little ones soon whatever way that happens. Best of luck to everyone x


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## Solar

I agree nobody should feel guilty about conceiving naturally after a period of fertility treatment or feel guilty about having no fertility problems. But I don't think the original post was about guilt, it was about the frustration of other people giving you the "I know a women " speech. I've had a few of them  

I'm lucky I've still got all my bits and so does my DP so I always fantasise that one day I will be one on those women   You never know. 

But what I have found is this time after 3 failed transfers we are keeping this FET cycle to ourselves. Not telling anyone where as before I'd keep a few friends updated on my progress. I've only just started my FET but I'm already finding it more relaxing as regardless of the outcome I can absorb it in private instead of having to tell everyone.


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## Turia

Although I posted about my sister being "one of those women/stories", I remember being told about the friend of the cousin of a friend's hairdresser who got pregnant after stopping treatment.  This was after our having 6 goes with just an early m/c to show for it.  Luckily it was a phone call so no one saw my reply through gritted teeth and tears eyes...

I know the story was said as either a way of giving hope/comfort or because they didn't know what to say, either way I agree that it didn't help!  

Turia x


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## crystaldaisy

Solar said:


> I agree nobody should feel guilty about conceiving naturally after a period of fertility treatment or feel guilty about having no fertility problems. But I don't think the original post was about guilt, it was about the frustration of other people giving you the "I know a women " speech. I've had a few of them
> 
> I'm lucky I've still got all my bits and so does my DP so I always fantasise that one day I will be one on those women  You never know.
> 
> But what I have found is this time after 3 failed transfers we are keeping this FET cycle to ourselves. Not telling anyone where as before I'd keep a few friends updated on my progress. I've only just started my FET but I'm already finding it more relaxing as regardless of the outcome I can absorb it in private instead of having to tell everyone.


I'm on my first ICSI cycle and I'm already regretting telling anyone. I told family and close friends ages ago and hadn't really thought about the stage where I'd have to tell anyone about the results. If it's negative obviously it will be awful telling people, but even if it's positive, because people know what stage I'm at in the treatment and will be asking about the outcome I'd be forced into telling people I was pregnant way before I would want to as most people wait until after the 12 week scan.


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## Solar

Crystaldaisy, I hope you have just good news to report. I found my recent MMC the hardest as it was over xmas period and I felt like I couldn't lick my wounds in private as had to notify everyone who knew the bad news.

So this time it's just mine and DP business even if we're lucky enough to get another BFP keeping quiet until get to 12 weeks. 

Good luck hun x


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## crystaldaisy

Solar said:


> Crystaldaisy, I hope you have just good news to report. I found my recent MMC the hardest as it was over xmas period and I felt like I couldn't lick my wounds in private as had to notify everyone who knew the bad news.
> 
> So this time it's just mine and DP business even if we're lucky enough to get another BFP keeping quiet until get to 12 weeks.
> 
> Good luck hun x


Thank you, hopefully we both have good news. If mine's positive I'll keep it to myself as much as possible for as long as I can. Apart from my boss as he knows the exact stage I'm at in treatment, then if anything did go wrong he'd be understanding. Good luck! xx


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## Angedelight

That I know someone who knows someone who stopped trying and just relaxed and then bingo they got pregnant comment is the worst!

I know- I'll tell the NHS they're wasting millions on treatment and should prescribe relaxation instead!. We have MFI issues which would make it highly unlikely we would conceive naturally.

However it is really heartening to read all the success stories out there. We have just had a failed cycle so until we plot our next move are having regular intercourse around ovulation time in the hope that we may get a miracle!! 😂😂 Not holding out much hope but at least it's free!.

I do know a couple who conceived their first through IVF - initially had low sperm  count and motility and forms. They they got naturally pregnant with their second which goes to show sperm issues can vary and change.

Another couple who had twins first IVF go- she had pelvic adhesions. Then surprise natural pregnancy. Those stories always gave me hope.

Generally the people who make the comments Perkins first mentioned are completely uninformed and clueless about your specific issues as to why that's not going to happen. I've snapped back at someone 'really? Well with diagnosed issues on each side that's highly unlikely to happen to us'.

I just don't tell people anymore or talk about it. The next person who says 'you could always adopt' I'd probably end up beating. Or those who say 'it's obviously not meant to be'. 

It's a crap situation and journey ladies. Love, light and hope to all xx


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## mrschef04

Hi there, mine happened after all three just two months ago.  The girls on these boards know me well.  Even my IVF results are the most embarrassing on these forums.  I've suffered from two miscarriages (very early and didn't have any symptoms at all) and my one and only failed IVF in August 2015.  I have high fsh (anywhere between 23-37) and I'm 39 yo now.  

I was a pretty bad responder to IVF (my AFC was two.  Only 3 eggs and one fertilised and they did a two day transfer).  Four doctors have told me that I had a 5% or less chance of IVF working and a 1% or less chance of naturally conceiving.  After the most awful IVF (single round) ever, we were then told they have cancelled the next two funded rounds, as I was pretty much a lost cause.  Then two months later, the NHS changed their minds and offered us another round and DH and I said no.  We'd had enough.  The drugs affected me really badly and it was so depressing.  Looking at the boards and everyone has more than 10 follicles and I only had 2.  I had to stim for so long on the highest amount of drugs.  No herbs, no vitamins, no accupuncture or massage anymore.  No being all healthy and bored. 

We looked at adoption in January, even booked the information session with the agency (it's funny to see my old posts about making this decision on my established buddies board).  Then decided, no, let's concentrate on us and being happy with our lives.  I was smoking ****, drinking loads and we went to Spain on a foodie holiday.  For most of that holiday, I had the worst hangover and then got food poisoning for three days.  

A week later, my period was late and I didn't even remotely think it was pregnancy.  I even looked up if food poisoning affects my period.  Then I felt my immune system going and had to go and get some medicine, so I was standing there at the counter and saw the cheapest £2 pregnancy test and bought one on a whim.  That was it.  It was positive.  I'm now 11 weeks and 2 days.  I have my 12-week scan in just 7 days.  Fingers crossed all goes well.  The thing is, I told my MIL and she literally almost fell over too because she also said that she had completely given up.  

I know everyone told me to relax and all that crap, but, in reality, what helped was actually just not caring about it anymore.  Not having "baby head" or being obsessed.  Just getting on with my life.  It took time for me.  Believe me, I had to unfriend people because their baby showers and loads of photos were too painful.  When I do make my announcement, I have my old NHS letter saying less than 1% chance.  I'm going to hold that up to the scan and picture of baby, if everything goes on.  But I'm also going to tell people to be less boastful about their children and their luck and their success.  I'm not telling this story because I'm bragging, but because I think you wanted to know.  Believe me, I still remember how much I felt like such a damn failure.  I think I spent about 8 months of my life last year in absolute tears every single day, completely alone and not being able to share it with anyone, not even family, as I'm a foster child, so it was even harder not having a mother to tell me it's okay.


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## crystaldaisy

mrschef13 said:


> Hi there, mine happened after all three just two months ago. The girls on these boards know me well. Even my IVF results are the most embarrassing on these forums. I've suffered from two miscarriages (very early and didn't have any symptoms at all) and my one and only failed IVF in August 2015. I have high fsh (anywhere between 23-37) and I'm 39 yo now.
> 
> I was a pretty bad responder to IVF (my AFC was two. Only 3 eggs and one fertilised and they did a two day transfer). Four doctors have told me that I had a 5% or less chance of IVF working and a 1% or less chance of naturally conceiving. After the most awful IVF (single round) ever, we were then told they have cancelled the next two funded rounds, as I was pretty much a lost cause. Then two months later, the NHS changed their minds and offered us another round and DH and I said no. We'd had enough. The drugs affected me really badly and it was so depressing. Looking at the boards and everyone has more than 10 follicles and I only had 2. I had to stim for so long on the highest amount of drugs. No herbs, no vitamins, no accupuncture or massage anymore. No being all healthy and bored.
> 
> We looked at adoption in January, even booked the information session with the agency (it's funny to see my old posts about making this decision on my established buddies board). Then decided, no, let's concentrate on us and being happy with our lives. I was smoking ****, drinking loads and we went to Spain on a foodie holiday. For most of that holiday, I had the worst hangover and then got food poisoning for three days.
> 
> A week later, my period was late and I didn't even remotely think it was pregnancy. I even looked up if food poisoning affects my period. Then I felt my immune system going and had to go and get some medicine, so I was standing there at the counter and saw the cheapest £2 pregnancy test and bought one on a whim. That was it. It was positive. I'm now 11 weeks and 2 days. I have my 12-week scan in just 7 days. Fingers crossed all goes well. The thing is, I told my MIL and she literally almost fell over too because she also said that she had completely given up.
> 
> I know everyone told me to relax and all that crap, but, in reality, what helped was actually just not caring about it anymore. Not having "baby head" or being obsessed. Just getting on with my life. It took time for me. Believe me, I had to unfriend people because their baby showers and loads of photos were too painful. When I do make my announcement, I have my old NHS letter saying less than 1% chance. I'm going to hold that up to the scan and picture of baby, if everything goes on. But I'm also going to tell people to be less boastful about their children and their luck and their success. I'm not telling this story because I'm bragging, but because I think you wanted to know. Believe me, I still remember how much I felt like such a damn failure. I think I spent about 8 months of my life last year in absolute tears every single day, completely alone and not being able to share it with anyone, not even family, as I'm a foster child, so it was even harder not having a mother to tell me it's okay.


That's amazing! I'm so happy for you. Wishing you a safe and happy pregnancy. xx


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## PinkPeacock

My response is usually "that's amazing. I don't suppose any of them had their ovaries and Fallopian tubes removed too because then there really would be hope".


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## FertileRoad

how about this women who is my sister - you really really need to get down on your knees and pray every night, telling them why you want this baby and what you can offer the baby, that dream you had the other night who do you not trust that was them coming to show you something but you didnt trust them enough, I see an angel carrying a baby wrapped tight in white cover! you need to really want this baby for it to happen! - 

If its a BFP - I will get told you it was going to happen and if its a BFN - you didnt want hit hard enough, you didnt do what I said ....


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## cosmopolitan4112008

Here, on thus forum, I know Molly 99 and Michimoo who fit those descriptions. There are many others, but some of those successful pregnancies are pure miracle given into consideration the diagnosis.  When God wants something,  nothing can prevent it.


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## littlerosie

Mrs chef, that's really fantastic news, delighted for you. 
I think people are trying to give hope when they say these things but it shows the misinformation about infertility and the emotions attached. 
We had a miscarriage at almost 13 weeks recently. The minute the doctor left the scan room a member of staff came in, asked what the scan news was, then proceeded to ask us how much we had spent on ivf and followed on with a story about her brother couldn't afford it but then they forgot all about it and had twins!!


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## BethP

Reading sucess stories on here from people you know have gone through all the craziness of IF is really uplifting and does really help in the low moments.

BUT hearing about a random sucess story about a friend of a friend from someone who has never experienced IF is really hard to take. Both my sisters (who are nice and were trying to be supportive) have told me about mums at their kids nursery or school who had ivf and it worked first time or they then had a miricle pregnancy. They then imply it will be the exact same situation for me. I then had to point out that the women who never managed to conceive are obviously not going to be at the school gates talking about it are they.

We have so much to deal with on our journeys to be parents and these things don't help.


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## mrschef04

BethP - I know the feeling.  It still irritates me when others (including DH) say, "see?  all you had to do was relax!"  Yeah, whatever, mate.  Sure, the doctors may not have it all right, but there are a lot of other women with high FSH, low follicle count, where they relaxed and nothing happened.  I just don't even listen to it really.  

Crystaldaisy - thank you! 

Fertile Road - I was raised Catholic for 18 years and I don't believe in God, so I'm afraid I can't relate to getting down on my knees and praying about it.  That's an absolutely sh** thing for someone to say - "You didn't want it enough" - sometimes things in life are just luck.  It's sad when people think it's about you or something you did.  

Littlerosie - I reckon that was really it.  My head and heart completely gave up on it.  I didn't even dwell on it at all or get sad about it.  If there was anything baby-related around me, I just ignored it and did my own thing.


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