# Anyone already have a dog when LO came home?



## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Hi
Might sound silly but I'm worried about how our dog might affect / be affected if we are successful and bring home a child / children. We are only at the very start of our journey. 
Our dog is a little 9 month old Bichon Frise so has a lovely temperament and couldn't hurt a fly even if he tried his hardest. But he is rather excitable and does jump up when excited. 
He won't grow any bigger than 8 kg maximum. Is only 4kg at present. Most children we come across when walking him etc love him but some are cautious of him because he's excited and tries to jump at them. I don't know anyone with children locally well enough to try to overcome his excitement at meeting children. But he does calm down after a while and might calm down somewhat as he gets older. 
We are dedicated to adopting children if we can but I feel devastated at the thought of giving up our beloved pet.
I know it will probably work out and that the SW will assess the dog etc.  
Just wondered if any of you already had a dog and how things went for you. 
My mind is on overdrive I just want things to go well for us after some tough times. 
Thanks
EB


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## skyblu (Sep 9, 2010)

Hi EternalBloom and welcome 

I felt the same about our dog but ours is a huge collie x Samoyed and weighs nearly 6 stone and jumps up all the time!!!!!!!!!!
Our SW was a dog lover and when she arrived he would jump up and as soon as she gave him attention he would calm down and would stay in his bed for the rest of the time she was there. As long as your dog does not pose a threat then you should be fine.
When our lo first met our dog we took them to the beach so he could run off if he wanted to, but he just looked at her, sniffed her, licked her hand and walked off!!!!! The first day she came home yes he was excited and we had him on a lead at first and put a gate between the kitchen and lounge until he got used to her, but this only lasted 3 days and just chanced it and see if he would jump up, he didn't and never has since. We have had lo now for 11 weeks and they both wind each other up and chase each other but she also knows not to disturb him when he is asleep, when he is eating, when he is chewing a bone or when he is in his bed. As long as you tell them whats what from the start then all should be fine.

Dogs/pets are good for children and shows them how to care and love animals.
You should be fine.
Good luck with your journey.

Skyblu.xxx


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## ChickenLegs (Feb 3, 2013)

Hi EB  

SW will only be concerned about dogs that could be dangerous. Our geriatric rabbit had to be assessed, but it was just a paperwork exercise. I know a bichon puppy and he's adorable, so don't worry  

A lot of FC have dogs, so you might find that your LO has actually requested a new mummy and daddy with a dog, and you'll be ahead of the game  

Good luck, Chickenlegs x


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

I think all of the above is what I would say but you should be prepared how you will cope if LO shows anger towards the dog and acts out. Dogs are animals and if you pulled my ears or nipped me I'm sure I would bite/snarl. 

Our LO loves our dog & adapted really well with the dog (actually bonded with dog first before us) but at times of extreme anger he has directed it at the dog. Luckily he was/is too small to inflict damage but we spent the 2.5 years on adoption road training our dog.
We did lots of roughing up (just running hands over him and gentle pull of ears/tail) as he wasn't a very tactile dog, keep him as a dog and not suro baby ie there are no go zones I the house. We also had friends with Los that used to visit and we watched the dog all the time initially but turned out he listens and respects what a 2year orders him about. 

Just some food for thought x


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## Poppets Mammy (Mar 7, 2011)

I think all dog owners have worries about their dogs with assessment and placement and there's been a few threads about it and I've never heard of anyone having a problem.

We've got two spaniels, one springer (imagine how excitable that is  ) and a cavalier. Both very well trainned and soft as clarts. Springer goes daft when ppl arrive and that was our huge worry, thankfully wasn't an issue as SW knows dogs and she calms and curls up in a ball on her bed very quickly so throughout the HS he got to know her personality. We were then worried about how a LO would take to the dogs, we said we wouldn't consider a LO who had allergies or was scared of dogs and ideally wanted a LO who's FC had dogs so they were used to them. Our LO hadn't had much contact with dogs but there were no issues regarding this. We introduced them outside the house on a walk and had arranged for my parents to take the dogs with them while we took LO to our house. This was during introductions and didn't want her over whelmed with the new house and the dogs. Turned out she demanded we took them home straight away from the walk and well all 3 of them are pretty much inseparable. 
I agree that if you haven't already get your pup to training classes, they have lots of benefits and make life just nicer when you've got full control of your dog. Plus It shows responsibility and will go in your PAR. 

Our LO can sometimes be too rough with our dogs as well, don't think she's even aware of it at times, that's just where her frustrations get vented. Poor dogs are tortured sometimes and they just take it from her. I stop her of course as the poor dogs shouldn't have to take it plus even the softest dogs have their limit and will snap and it's important to remember that. 

I'm sure you'll be fine, it's worrying though as our furry friends are so important to us yet so is adopting. Good luck   xx


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Hi everyone 
What a relief all sounds very positive. Thank you. 
Funnily enough our official puppy training classes start tomorrow, had to wait months as it's such a popular course. 

I did worry in case LOs might hurt him and whether he might snap, also worried for the dog himself too. But we will try and train him to tolerate as much as possible and keep a close eye on them. I'm reassured by your replies that the SW won't be concerned as he is really the least aggressive little dog and just very friendly. 

Whenever he's been to they vet they always remark at how placid he is. He just stands there whilst they stick thermometers up his bottom etc. 
Just really want to be able to keep him if possible as we have such a bond and responsibility towards him. 

I love this forum, such positive ladies thanks all  

EB xxxxx


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

Hello!  This was a huge issue for me and be prepared because I have had to reassure SW that if the relationship between a child and the dogs should become untenable then we will rehome the dogs.  Now for me that is an absolute last resort and I prefer to believe we can manage most situations.

We have 3 dogs, 2 excitable Springers and a small cross breed.  Luckily they are ok with kids and I'm sure that once they get used to Bluebird and he becomes one of the family they will be absolutely fine with him.  They are used to kids coming to visit and we always lay down the ground rules, as skyblu says.  Also, the dogs are used to being cuddled, kisses and fussed and are pretty tolerant.  

My real worry was/is that LO will be scared of the dogs as he hasn't had any real contact, or that when someone comes to the house and they bark then he will be startled.  However, I'm relying on the fact that little ones are very resilient and adapt well to new stuff, and also the fact that we have a dog room where the dogs can go behind a stair gate and be separate for a while.  

I'll let you know how we get on!     My dogs are not surrogate children, they are very much dogs, however I have made a commitment to them all, 2 of them are rescues.  I committed to giving them a home for life and I adore them, it would tear me up if we had to rehome them for any reason.    My aim was to add to our already pretty good life with children and if someone said to me at the start that to adopt we would have to rehome the dogs to be considered then we wouldn't have continued so I am now relying on careful intros and lots of positive stories that have reassured me that it is possible to integrate the family when LO comes home... I'm just   that Bluebird and the dogs will become best of friends.  Luckily, they all seem to prefer boys.. lol!


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

We have a dog and he loves children when our nephews and other children come he is so happy then he misses them when they go. Like someone else said we do things to him like pulling his tail and ears etc general child harassment. He responds really well to it. I do envisage some hurdles but I do think it will work. He will be watched like a hawk obviously. However I do think that adopting with a dog is far safer than a dog near a newborn. Newborns are so vulnerable.


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Generally dogs are OK but I would advise being extra careful about leaving them alone together, even if you know your dog wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone.

I do actually know someone who had a problem.  They had a baby placed, and about 2 months into placement their dog accidentally gave the baby a (small) scratch when they were both playing with the same toy.  It was a very minor injury and just "one of those things".  Social Services told them to get the dog out the house immediately and gave them 3 days to permanently re-home the dog or they would remove the child.

I do not wish to be alarmist, but I do think it pays to be aware that Social Services will protect themselves and if anything happened that caused serious damage after a minor incident, they would almost certainly be liable.  Being extra, extra cautious is definitely sensible when you bring a child home.

Wyxie xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Good to know thanks Wyxie.  What I find strange is as a teacher kids always came on covered in scratches from cats not one ever came in with a dog injury.  I get that the potential injury from a dog is much greater however an injury from a cat is far more likely.  Why are they so unbothered about cats?


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Gywenth - one word media and I'm not sure a case has ever had a cat kill a child via an attack. I've heard of cats trying to smoother babies and hence I've  known a SW to ask a couple to put in more measures to prevent the cat from being upstairs.
X


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

True but I personally think the risk cats pose is underestimated.  I have no issues with the rules connecting to dogs but injuries are injuries regardless of how they were caused.  I know I will be just as wary of cats but I had bad cat experiences as a child so maybe its just me x x


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

Wyxie said:


> I do actually know someone who had a problem. They had a baby placed, and about 2 months into placement their dog accidentally gave the baby a (small) scratch when they were both playing with the same toy. It was a very minor injury and just "one of those things". Social Services told them to get the dog out the house immediately and gave them 3 days to permanently re-home the dog or they would remove the child.


That is utterly ridiculous, how is that any different to me accidentally scratching a child with my finger nails when picking them up, would SS actually disrupt a perfectly good placement for the sake of a dog scratch?  Thanks for the warning though.

Any child who comes to live here will undoubtedly be knocked over at some point by an excited Springer. Absolutely agree though, I would never ever leave my dogs alone with a small child, more for their own protection tbh as if they were poked & prodded and reacted badly it would be just terrible. I don't think they would ever cause serious harm but it only takes one snap or nip for that trust to be broken for ever. x

On a lighter note, Bluebird's new SW came yesterday and our big boy Springer sat next to her licking her hands... turned out she'd found a stash of chocolate at the office and had a snack before she came... Busted! lol


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

Our  ever-so-slightly crazy spaniel is going to stay with my parents for a couple of weeks when LO moves in so they can be introduced gradually as LO is not used to dogs  
I'm not concerned that the dog would harm LO but equally would not be happy to leave them alone together...


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Speaking as a dog & animal lover and with a rescue dog - that's the sensible approach. Our LO adores our dog but in the early weeks of placement I was genuinely distraught as I thought we would need to rehome our dog. Our dog is very placid and a great temperament with LO but he has his own issues and he really struggled when LO moved in and his anxiety was through the roof - he started stealing food and going in rooms he's not allowed in and noising up the dogs in his dog walking group. Luckily our dog walker is also a trainer and rehomer so we all kept an eye on him and routine was very consistent. It took him another few weeks but he did settle - altho I've had to keep him going to dog walker as too long with LO and me his jealousy rears up.

Just another dimension to the early days - ps this is not meant to scare but just gives colour on where some SWs speak from as they've seen us adopters be very upset but Los must come first. I would agree with gywneth that's this is true for cats - a friend of mine had to rehome her cat due to issues with her birth child so not only unique to adopters.
X


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Great tips thanks. 
I think the key is definitely supervision. I've already been thinking how we can prepare the way. We do cordon off the dog from certain areas of house at certain times to protect him as he is still a puppy so we will keep that up even as he gets older to keep both him and LO safe. 
Gonna have him neutered too, he hasn't shown any unwanted behaviours anyway but to be extra sure we will get him done. 
He isn't a surrogate baby but he is a lapdog so does need human contact, he wouldn't do well outside alone for example. 
Will see how we go. I think we could easily rehome him if necessary but feel confident that it won't come to that now after reading your posts. 
I think as long as we are cautious we'll be able to make it work.


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## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

Wow so worried about this! My dogs are my companions and have been there through it all! They are wonderful but hyper and run round the house like idiots, we do have separate area for them to live ie the dinning room but I Will have to make sure we work hard to make everyone happy!!! 
Thanks for this thread it helps...... I think although scares me!!! 
Xx


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

AuntieKatie said:


> Wyxie said:
> 
> 
> > I do actually know someone who had a problem. They had a baby placed, and about 2 months into placement their dog accidentally gave the baby a (small) scratch when they were both playing with the same toy. It was a very minor injury and just "one of those things". Social Services told them to get the dog out the house immediately and gave them 3 days to permanently re-home the dog or they would remove the child.
> ...


This has been bothering me a bit... 1. I'm now going to be cautious about what I admit to, 2, if it were me, I would 'rehome' the dogs to family then get them back after the adoption order was made (if I was sure that there was no aggression involved in the incident obviously), 3, I find it hard to believe an agency would risk the failure of the placement, do you think this particular agency were especially sensitive?

I remain really concerned in case something jeopardises the dogs, that was never my intention when we entered into this but obviously I wouldn't put my child in harms way. But by the same token, I know they are good dogs and given time think that they and Bluebird could form a very helpful bond x


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Katie that was my first thought glad someone else has been honest. My parents would always take the dog but as you say if I felt there was no aggression at all he would be back after AO came through. My view is if handled right pets can be a great way to help settle a child. Animals haven't let them down / hurt them like adults. I was really glad when the SW who did our initial visit said this was her view too - although she recognized other SW's can be quite antipet. Hoping we get her or a like minded colleague for HS  x x


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Auntie Katie & Gwyneth - I do totally share your sentiments but from the other side of things I want to protect my dog and thus if LO had continued being aggressive to dog (as he was to us) or the dog continued to be stressed then his quality is as important as Los/us. Our dog is part if the family and thus the back up plan was he would move to in laws whom he stays at if we are on holiday.

Luckily it's now looking like all will be fine but I have to be honest and say I will not stand by and let my LO harm my dog and thus the commitment is made to LO and my dog. (The in laws are not that bad ;-))

Going into things open minded and keeping boundaries for all is best plan. I also find my LO has managed to pick up bruises as he keeps stumbling/creeping over the dogs bed/toys as he wants to be with him but I've been very clear with SWs (all the SWs dote on my dog as he is very well trained and non aggressive)

It's soooo hard isn't it as the furries are just part of the family in their own animal way.
X


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

This is such a big topic to think over! I adore my dogs, they are so much a part of me that I would be lost without them. Luckily they have always been utter angels when the SW visits and when they were assessed they were noted as being very placid....they're actually a bit nutty to be honest but I've trained them so rigorously that they do know what is expected.

We are not introducing LO straight away and definitely not with other people around i.e. FC / SW because it will all be too much. 

We also have a section of our garden (patio to main area) which we are going to gate across and they can go out there when needs be. They adore kongs (rubber toys which you stuff with treats / peanut butter) and so we will give them plenty of time with things like that to munch on which calms them down if they are getting excited.

I'm not worried about our dogs because they are very used to young children and I actually think living with one will be the making of them because they are very sensitive and will just adore her, but I will never ever leave them unattended with her (like ever) and I think this is the only way you can guarantee that things go smoothly.

I grew up with a half-wild cat who scratched me several times as a child, and the cat next door was a siamese and would go for all of us, and it wasn't ideal but I survived it and learned to give them space and not over-love them. My parents nearly rehomed her on more than one occasion because she nearly scratched one of our eyes but our sobs and wails and protests meant they never did. I had that cat until a couple of years ago when she died aged 19 and a half and I bloody loved that animal.  I might have had the odd scratches from her as a kitten but when my parents said they were rehoming her my little heart nearly broke.


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