# September/October 2014 cycle buddies (the walnut whippers) part 4



## poppy05

New home ladies


Happy chatting


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## jules418

Thanks poppy - oo i panicked then about to reply and it said it was locked lol how are you 

Sian, My scan is 21st nov so I am a week behind you , I shall be stalking you now see what i may expect the following week haa haa. 
Bloating is awful have had to put my size 16s on today not worn this since last year but i am glad i kept them haa haa.


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## poppy05

Haha jules, im ok thanks, dw at work today and im on my own, so more time to sit and think   
i want to get on with some jobs, but im in pain today and bleeding quite heavy, on a brighter note, my new bedding arrived this morning so thats in the wash ready to go on later


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## jules418

i can't think of anything that will stop your mind from wandering maybe see if there is something funny on tv, not like can go for a walk either as super rubbish outside. 

How about a nice bath, fresh clothes, like tracky bottoms and t-shirt fresh from warming on the radiator whilst in the bath. I big mug of tea/coffee/hot choc/mulledwine, doggy cuddles and a a film/tv show. 

ooo I love new bedding makes me want to stay in bed forever!!!!! what is it like? Dunelm have some lovely stuff in at the moment. 

Jxxx


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## 2ForJoy

Part 4 Blimey!! How are u all doing? How many ante we waiting verdict on now?! My laptop is poorly so short ones in the Moby from me now I'm afraid!

Poppy, big hugs hun. In sorry ur home alone feeling this way  new bedding is awesome tho! I'm doing the sheets tonight and cannot wait to get to bed!

Afm- nowt to report. Just very very busy at work which sucks on the one hand but at least days go faster! I am officially 7+6 today or based on my viability scan I'm 8+2 and apparently my bubbubbhalf an inch....size of a raspberry! I can't believe how quickly it grows. I'm no longer able to eat healthy.... Salad , fruit and veg literally make me gag. I can just about eat well cooked veg as long as they're smothered in gravy or cheese sauce. Other than that all I want is crisps, chipolatas (!), cheese, chicken sweetcorn soup or chicken dippers! Not healthy at all!! X


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## Mrs_F

What a lot of chatter boxes! Chatter chatter yak yak yak!  

Sorry to have not checked in for ages (and then chat crashed on me) been a busy bunny... Hoping time will fly by between now and our first scan (27 Nov)... I've got lots of things in the diary to keep me busy... 

I think morning sickness is ever to gradually creeping in to my life... Just a gentle background nausea at the moment... I am dreading the full blown vomiting stage though... Bleugh!  

Big hugs to everyone... Very excited to hear the news Fromm our final few ladies x


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## jules418

Hi 2forjoy - lovely to see you, did you have your scan this week? how did it go what was it like? 

I think if that is what your body craves then so be it, at  least you are trying and well lets face it you can't beat a bit of veg in cheese sauce mmmmmmmmm I did come across a chart that when your body required sometyhing your brain interpets it as a naughty food and if you have a veg or fruit of some sort it placates the desire.... will have a look for it but for now enjoy  keep up with the vit tabs though if you can xxx


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## 2ForJoy

That would be fab jules! Yeah, scan last Tuesday, was amazing  been to gp too, just waiting for midwife to cantact me to book in 12 weeks scan.... Wish it would hurry!!  How's u? X


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## Kazza79

Hi ladies 

Sorry I haven't been on just got home  

Poppy- you really need a good film and a snuggle don't you hun   

Jules- I know what you mean about wind OMG it's terrible lol and I'm so bloated I never had this with the bits so must be those horrid pessories lol 

Tricia- how are you feeling hun ? Xx

MrsF- how are you feeling? How's the bloating for you? X

2forjoy- wow yours if going so fast hun, when will you 12 week scan be due? Before Xmas? X

Sorry I can't scroll back anymore as we r on a new page   

AFM- bloated and windy lol what a great combo lol we did the digital CB test which said 2-3 weeks has anyone else used one of those? The clinic said Im 4 weeks yesterday ? So confusing when you don't use your last period date lol but tbh the day iv had today I would belive anything lol x


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## Kazza79

Jules- your scan is a week behind sian and mine is a week behind you lol


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## jules418

I have just been to acupuncture said ' how are you feeling ' i said I am Soooo tired could go to bed at 8 and sometimes sit at my desk wanting to go for a snooze. He said 'hmm sounds like twins'   hope he is wrong lol ooo hope you get date soon will sorry that info out for you... Maybe tomorrow tho xxx

Off out now with my sis and my mate (aka little sis) think I will tell her as she is like family 
Have fun in all you do 
Jules


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## poppy05

kazza, at this stage a cb digital should read 1-2 i reckon you got 2 in there missus!!!


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## threebee

*2ForJoy* - Good to see you and hear that you're doing well!

*Kazza* - I used a Clearblue Digi for the first time on Weds and got 3+, which I hoped for as was 5+6 by then, so well over 3 weeks since EC/'ovulation'. So I think 2-3 weeks would be right for you, just? I'm no expert though!!

*Jules *- Ooh I wonder if there are two little pumpkins in there? Hehe x


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## SianB

I tested. 4 days early and becausemy positive lines were all so dark that soon my friend has said she thinks I'm having twins, she said hers wasn't that dark and she was a good few weeks more than me,😁 also the tiredness I'm having is ridiculous come 3pm jam ready for bed and I'm napping most days but we will see follow the14th for my scan fingers crossed find out if its1 or2 xx


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## tricia1012

Evening ladies ,

Kirstie - how are you? Hope your letter came in the post xx

Bexter - it's the thought that counts anyway at Christmas  your priority is def saving for your future baby   Me and hubby will be doing the same were broke from all the ivf stuff ! X

Lottie - how are you Hun ? Enjoying your week off not long now xx

Poppy - sorry your not feeling great   I always love some new bedding so cozy  xx

Kazza - I'm ok thanks Hun , why have you had such a bad day ? Hope everything's ok xx

Jules - yay hope it's twins  have a fun eve with your sis  xx

Becky - how are you Hun? Xx

2 for joy - my kind of girl all I want to eat at the min is rubbish !! I'm usually healthy oh well lol xx

Mrs f - I hope time flys for you for your scan it's going to be amazing  I'm dreaming of getting to that stage   Xx

Threebee - how are you? Xx

Hi to everyone else on the mob as usual so can't see everyone's posts ! Sorry  

Afm- still not much to report I'm a 6dp 5dt still a few cramps and I'm exhausted I've had to have a few hours sleep on the afternoon couldn't stay awake however I think that's just because I'm having to much rest lol . Keep feeling really warm in the eve not sweaty just hot ! Really weird just hope af is not trying to come  

Hope you all have a good eve 
Love and baby dust to all xx


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## Kazza79

My line was really dark on the first test too, it was much darker than my other pregnancys so not sure what that means lol I told the clinic and she said it could be a sign of 2 but it's no uncommon to start with a twin pregnancy and by the scan it's a single pregnancy but you don't notice the lose as your body obsorbes it xxx

Has anyone had bad belly using the pessories ( in the back door) sorry tmi but iv started doing it this way for mid day at work as I'm not able to lay down at all lol but iv had bad belly every day since? Weird? X


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## Bexter83

Poppy I'm sorry to hear it's not been a good day for you, sending hugs  . Hope you have a better evening, put on a funny film, have a hot chocolate or a glass of wine and look forward to your cosy new bed linen. 

Hope everyone is well.

Jules I love your Christmas dec ideas, so stealing those! Fab. I'm really looking forward to Christmas now. I don't think my Christmas cookie gifts will make it under the tree at this rate . 

How did your review go today DinkyMinky? Hope went well.

Tricia stay positive. These progesterone pessaries and god your on those jabs too, that they give everyone lots of different signs and feelings. I found that it doesn't mean anything. Please try your best not to worry, I'm sure your AF isn't coming and it's just your ovaries are still tender from all the stimming. 
Sounds like we'll all be doing this Christmas idea with all the supps and IVF expense. Think we're going all need a Christmas gift idea thread on this soon . 

AFM, I've had a good day, I feel I've turned a corner and cried all the tears. Onwards and upwards. It's the first time since that I've truly felt ok. 

Love to all


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## Kazza79

Tricia - 

My bad day was prob more funny lol it started with me forgetting my DS had none uniform and so got to school and realised which made little one cry and not want to go in to school so I turned around to drive home but got stuck in traffic and stuck behind a idiot driver who just stopped in the middle of the road raaaaaaaaaa lol so turned back around and went back to the school where my friend offered to give him some clothes bless her   happy child. Then remembered I needed to give him £4 for a skipping rope at school so as I got it out my purse a £2 coin rolled out of my hand on to the floor and rolled straight into a drain     omg I almost cried lol so dropped DS into school just intime and flew to work jumped out the car and straight into a huge muddy puddle lol omg, got into work and went for a week but toilet light wouldn't come on so wee in the pitch black   come out and walked to the sink and the bloody light come on   What. The hell lol wha a day but all sorted and seems to be ok lol


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## Lottie1802

Hey ladies,

Sorry I'm not posting as much , just trying to keep myself busy so best I stay away from T'internet
I met the lovely Bexter for tea and I'm so grateful I did because not only did I make a FF friend but she introduced me to the most amazing tea shop   So thanks Bexter aka my new cake friend  

Tricia , I'm jealous of your twinges , I just feel empty   I just want this over now, especially as we are the last on here and everyone else seems to be on the next part of the journey , I just feel in limbo. But enough of my negative vibes !!   At least we are PUPO   In it together now Tricia !

Kirstie , I hope you are well , I hope you are putting that black belt to good use , I've decided you could be a good person to have around on a night out  

Kazza, I do get bad belly but not every time , I think I'm getting used to them  

Poppy , I'm sorry you feel a bit pants , I wish could fix it all for you Hun   I'm still   For those snow babies x x x 

AFM not a lot to report , I don't really know how to feel , so I'm trying not to lol I'm back at work Monday and I'm dreading it now. I just feel like I've been through turmoil the last 6 weeks and now I'm just left to return to normality , it's all a bit surreal , it hasn't quite sunk in I just did ivf ? And I might of just wasted loads of time and money , or ....well I can't even say the other option because it's too hard to believe


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## macca21

Hi ladies hope all is well 

Just a quick question, I have my first scan next thursday and for the last 2 day I have felt so sick all day. I have also had the worst headache which is just not going and might be why am feeling so crap, am I ok to take paracetmol? I really didnt wont to take anything but my head hurts so much when I move I think am going to have to  xx


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## tricia1012

Kazza - lol what a day  at least you didn't pee on yourself in the dark lol xx

Macca - you poor thing I think if your suffering that much then I think paracetamol is fine to take it's just ibuprofen you have to avoid , hope the headache goes xx

Lottie - don't worry I'm sure anything I'm feeling is just from all the meds I'm still on for my nk cells  xx

Bexter - thanks Hun I'm glad your feeling so much better today , you needed to let it all out  it's a grieving process getting through a bfn , I'm so glad were all here for eachother it helps so much xx

Btw - jealous of your meet up girls 😉 we all need a cake eating catch up  although if I keep eating the way I am I may not fit out my front door lol


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## poppy05

macca paracetamol is fine hun xx


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## macca21

Thank you poppy and tricia  xx


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## poppy05

Hi ladies

Just a gentle reminder that this is a cycle thread. It's great to share your initial positive news on here but please be sensitive and keep pregnancy chat to a minimum. We have a great area here for those waiting scans and in the early stages of pregnancy for you to chat - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=327005.0

Thanks for your understanding.


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## BeckyA

Ladies, i go to work for the afternoon and you are already. 3 pages in to the new thread!!

Hope you are all doing well. Glad you have had a good day *bexster*.

Not so good day for you *kazza*, but hey its the weekend now!

*lottie*, here is a bash with the pma stick just for you. 
I too am jealous of your tea and cake meet up. Maybe next chat room we need to have virtual (or real?) cake!!


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## tricia1012

Becky - good idea we will all stuff out faces with cake while were chatting lol  

Poppy - how are you feeling this eve ? Is it easing off a bit now   Xx


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## poppy05

Hi tricia, the bleeding is quite heavy still, and af pains quite strong, but im ok, it could be worse 
my bum is still lumpy from the gestone, thats annoying me because i dont need to suffer that now   
how about you hun? you feel ok? hows yr bum?


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## tricia1012

Oh Hun I hope it eases off soon and your over the worst for your lovely weekend with your wife 

I know it's awful to still be suffering the after effects bless ya    I'm finding it hard to find a way to sit down both sides are sore now I'm 11 gestone jabs in !! Got a nice collection of bruises going on but what can we do eh ! 

Loads of pampering treats and rest for you this weekend those are Tricia orders !! Watch a few funny Christmas films !! That always cheers me up  I was so bored earlier my mum was like let's just put your tree up lol tempting but I think it's a bit early


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## jules418

2forjoy and anyone else wanting healthy options for what we think our body needs, here is that food guide, this is from a health living page on instagram cleanlivingAlice which I have reposted as couldn't find the original post 

__
http://instagr.am/p/vHPxcyAxnJ/

/links


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## Kazza79

Lottie - I was getting hot flushes in the evening and feeling warm just sitting in the evening so I think its a good sign hun  x. 

Tricia- lol I'm so glad I didn't wee on myself too but I wouldn't of been shocked with the mornings events lol don't you just love crazy days pmsl  

AFM- just back from a nice catch up with some of my schools mums was really nice to see them as the kids have all moved on to different secondary school   I really wanted to tell them our news but didn't   I know it's to early so need to stay   lol xxxx


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## Zana37

Good morning Ladies !


Well not so good morning for me as I tested today with a clearblue test and the result...BFN!

This was my last paid attempt paid by the state and number 5 in all! It was a big disappointment but there is nothing I can do about! The hubby and I talked this morning about what next step will be... So we will have an appointment with our doctor next week and collect our medical files. Then we will visit two private clinics, one the best in Denmark and the other one of the top ones in Portugal and we will decide where to carry on our lat treatment.
The one in DK they charge 2000 pounds for one cycle and 3800 pounds for 3 cycles. I am not sure, if we should go for one last attempt or try 3 more. 
What do you girls say?


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## Mrs_F

Oh Zana,
I am so sorry to hear this cycle didn't work for you  infertility is such a hard and painful journey   No advice for you about what to do next, but it's great that you and DH are talking and planning...  Be gentle on yourselves xxx


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## Bexter83

Zana I'm so sorry hun    I wish things were different for you, I really do. I would do the 1 and not pay for the 3 up front. You never know that you may not need the 3 . It's a really good price, here it's about £5k per cycle. Really good that you have your review so soon too. Giving you big cyber hugs    . We are all here for you Zana. Xxx


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## jules418

Oh zara I am so sorry to hear your news. Big hugs to you and your dh.

As to your question, I can't answer for you, however it is was me, my initial thought would be the 3 goes but I think before a decision can be made see what your clinic say on why they believe it failed. Then,  do the other clinics offer a free consultation so you can discuss best process. It is a lot of money what would happen to the other 2 goes if the 1st attempt worked do you get a refund of the difference. 
Try and absorb this result and have time to get answers then you will be in a better place to make informed decisions 
Sending my love your way xxx

Jules xxxx


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## Kazza79

Morning

Zana- I'm so so sorry Hun and like Jule's said you need to process the results and have some time with DH, see what your clinic says about the reasons it may not of worked then go from there but don't Rush your decisions hun you need time to get over this cycle


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## BeckyA

Sorry to hear your news *zana*. Big


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## tricia1012

Zana - so sorry for your news massive   Take some time out to take care of yourself and heal before you commit to any major decisions xx

Hello to everyone else hubby has gone out for the day so I'm going to get on top of a few house chores and chill out today not even getting dressed going to be a slob in my pjs  seens as I'm always usually at work on a Saturday I feel I deserve a lazy one  

Hope you all have a lively weekend I'll be on later for a catch up xx


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## tricia1012

Lively ment lovely hate iPad typos !!


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## Zana37

No doubt you are right in the things you're saying, I just don't want to regret not paying for 3 cycles since they give me such a good price comparing to the price of one.

Yes I need to talk to my doctor and hear what she says. So far I have tried all treatments available in the hospital....
I read your messages in regards to the Q10 so Monday I will buy it and include in my supplements. I red online that the benefits of Q10 for fertility are many.

I have literally stayed home laying in a sofa for the past two weeks. My conclusion is that it really doesn't help, just like all doctors I spoke with told me. So Monday I will be enjoying my training again. Oh how I miss the gym so bad!

Thank you so much for your support girls.


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## poppy05

so sorry zana   i know how you feel hun, it really is rubbish, glad you are talking about future tx though and being positive
just to add my opinion, if it was me and we could afford it, i would pay for 3 more goes, if you get pg on next one, you wont even care you have paid for 3, and its still cheaper than 1 cycle here, i think knowing theres 3 tries waiting for you takes the pressure off a bit.
good luck with your appointment, i hope you feel you can start to make some decisions after seeing your dr


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## SianB

hello every one.
Zana im so sorry to hear that big hugs 

Im abit worryed my self today, last night after using the pessary i got into bed as usual after about half hr i went and used the loo all was normal, then in the middle of the night i got up to use to lo again and on my pad there was a brown like snot only a small amount, no bleeding or anything else just that, i have been suffering with a bad cough an at night its alot worse when i lie down sounds abit horrible but the brown stuf was more like a small  splat on the pad as if its happend when iv coughed ( sorry for tmi ) iv been on google this morning to see what it could be as my clinic is closed today so cant ring them, the only thing iv found is it coud be nothing to worry about and just off the pessarys, has anybody else experienced this? i keep going the toilet to check for more and theres been nothing??
im worrying now as iam 6 in a half weeks pregnant..is this normal??!! 

xx


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## jules418

Sian I wouldnt worry brown is old, it could be old mucus, discharge, implant bleed. At this stage you could be having any of that. Even some red spring due to implantation. My Acupuncturist told me about a client of his who had a big bleed all of a sudden and went to nearest clinic and a passed a large thing said it looked like a piece of liver. Turned out it was nothing had scan all ok just part of something that wasn't needed.
All the forums and sites I have read day brown is old 

Hope that helps 

Jxxxxx


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## poppy05

sian any bleeding should be checked out no matter what the colour, however im sure its nothing to worry about, bleeding of all description seems to be very common in early pregnancy
perhaps you could try posting yr question in the pregnancy area? you might get more answers from ladies who have experienced this there?


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## Zana37

*Poppy* I think you are very right in regards that 3 attempts would take a lot of pressure out comparing to one single one. And yes if I actually get pregnant I will never regret paying more anyway. I will need to convince my hubby in to that though. And it is not so for the money but mainly because he thinks the treatment is very harsh on me physically and extremely hard for both emotionally when it fails.

And yes we decided also to tight the belt financially. So no holidays abroad next year and we canceled the dream of a new kitchen project. But in the end I think it will be worth it! At least I hope so!


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## tricia1012

Evening ladies ,

It's gone a bit quiet on here ! How is everyone  

I have had the laziest Saturday ever I could get used to this lol until I read my emails and my boss is already wondering when I'll be back  can't complain will enjoy it while I can .

Hope your all having a good eve xx


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## Bexter83

Hi *Zana*, hope your doing ok . I had thought more about it and that is a very good package. I'll be praying it will be your time next time but like Poppy says, you'd be so happy and wouldn't care about that money, that maybe it is a good way to go about it. Just fully check all details and small print before hand. Go to the clinic first to see if you like them before signing up to it. It's fantastic you have your review so quickly. Treat yourself to have pick me ups and be kind to yourself and always remember how strong you are. 
I did read up on quite a few different websites that it's not advised to be laying down and bed ridden during the 2ww. They have found it to be more successful when still doing normal things and moving about, obviously not lifting anything heavy and running a marathon. Ask about it at your review and in your consultation at your new place, just to see what they feel is best. Good idea about the coenzyme q10. Have you tried taking bee pollen/royal jelly? Apparently improves egg quality. I didn't have 1 mature egg, only 3 border & 1 immature but 2 fertilised. I'm doing anything and everything I can do in my power to improve quality. Not even drinking now really either for these months before. 
Lots of hugs to you   .

*Tricia*, hope you've been enjoying your lazy day, so much nicer knowing your not at work too, always makes it that more enjoyable! Hope some of your bruises are starting to go down, so you have fresh less tender areas to jab. God I'd be terrible with those, I'm terrified of needles. How's your 2ww going otherwise?

How you feeling today *Lottie*?

How you doing *Jules*? Any new tasty dinners you tantalise us with? When does your new porch arrive? Sounds like your really getting bits sorted out, I like it! Love that organised, de cluttered feeling, feels like a detox to me. My sister wants to change her porch, the pushchair really bothers her because it's so small/narrow and a million little stepsy bits and I don't know how my nephew sleeps when she's taking him out or bringing him in. It's crazy, all these things you have to take into consideration, things you never had thought of before.

Hope everyone is well. Thinking of you all. We've all gone on the same scary and emotional journey and had our own difficult bits and outcomes but like my friend said to me, no matter what you've got to be proud of yourself for getting through it.

AFM, I'm feeling ok again, I was around kids and pregnant friends for a bit today and yes it reminds me and can't avoid the feeling you wish you had this but I was ok about it. We made a guy Fawkes for a competition, put a Justin beiber mask on him, 70's curly wig, looked like some weird Cuban Brother  but the hubby and I couldn't stick around, do I wonder if we won?....ha ha probably not!

Xxxx


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## Lottie1802

Hey ladies I hope you are all well!

I am ok bexter, I had a bit of a cry to DH yesterday as I really feel this hasn't worked. But he was really supportive and said we will find a way somehow  

Tricia your boss really is a jerk , ignore it and focus on yourself x x 

Poppy I hope you are feeling a little better x

Zana I am so sorry to read you didn't get the result you wanted   I really hope the next time is your turn

Jules, I hope you are looking after yourself mrs x x 

Kazza I bet you are dying to tell everyone I would be but   for now lol

AFM I caved in last night and had nooky with DH , now I'm beating myself up about it, my clinic paperwork said just leave it 12 hours after et and some websites say it's absolutely fine but there are loads of people that say it isn't , now I'm worried I've ruined any chance of implantation. I can't take it back , and I enjoyed it at the time lol just a bit worried now


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## tricia1012

Morning ladies ,

Bexter - it's ok thanks Hun 3 days to go now util otd , I'm not wanting it to come round  I'm enjoying being pupo . Sounds like you had fun making your guy fawkes with your hubby  am a sure you were a winner! It's tough being around kids  and esp pregnant friends when your going through what we are but I guess life has to go on and just be happy in the thought that it will be you one day and you will make amazing parents !!   I'm glad your still feeling better xx

Lottie - don't beat yourself up about it Hun ! Normal pregnant women do whatever they like they don't have a clue when implantation happens I've come round to the thinking that it's out of our control if there going to take they will and it's not our fault if they don't ! If I weren't so tired all the time I would be at it aswell  not long for us now  we've got to know eachother so well and I'm willing you on just as much as myself   Have a good cry whenever you need to it's good to let it all out xx

Poppy - how is my lovely doing ? I hope you've been having a nice relaxing weekend with your lovely wife xx

Kazza - how are you ? Has it sunk In yet ? Xx

All the other preggo ladies Jules , 2for joy , sian , Macca and everyone else hope your all still ok and enjoying those lil bundles your cooking up  xx

Kirstie - you've been a bit quiet on here, how are you ? Hope you've been enjoying a good weekend xx

Becky - how are you Hun? Xx

Zana - how are you feeling today ? Having read over your post again I think I would go for the three attempts it would put my mind at ease knowing I had a backup plan just in case and it's still cheaper than even one cycle in the uk . Hope your taking care of yourself  

Sorry if I have missed anyone you know me I'm on the mob  

Afm - so three days to go until test day ! Can't believe it's gone so quick now I want it to slow down !! Ignorance is bliss and I'm enjoying being pupo ! I had a moment of madness yday and was tempted to test but you'll be happy I didn't ! Too much time on my hands . Still no sore boobs or anything so I don't feel overly positive and I still have this heavy crampy feeling in my tummy hope my ovaries are healing after EC I worry that three ivf goes in a year could do them damage ! When I mine around in bed I still get pains in them  had a real lazy day yday so I'm off out today for some retail therapy  

Love and baby dust to all xxx


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## Kazza79

Morning 

Sian- like everyone else said don't panic hun brown is only and your little one is prob clearing out its space for the next 8 months   xxx

Tricia- we have all gone very quiet haven't we it's weird, how are you feeling hun ? 
And tell your boss to sod off lol just look after yourself hun. Also my boobs didn't hurt at all till after I tested and they are just veiny so don't worry if they don't hurt hun all I had was cramps and period achy pains   so PMA hun and not long to wait   xxx

Bexter- hi hun how are you? Are you back at work? What do u have planed for today? Xxx 

Lottie- I really am dieting to shout it from the roof tops hun lol DP hasn't kept it quiet at all   he can't seem to not tell people bless him I just hope it don't go wrong   But I'm keeping up with the PMA, 
how long till you test lottie? I can't wait to find out hun I'm sure it's all good   xxx

To everyone else good morning and have a great Sunday  

AFM - we are off to a firework party at DPs dads with sisters and kids so lots of fun and yummy food mmmmm can't wait xxx


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## K.Notman

Morning Ladies,
Just wanted to nip on and give you all a group hug!  I'm fine, just busy at weekends.  DH & I were decorating yesterday and today I'm working in my studio as I've got commissions for pet portraits to do.  Will catch up with personals tommorrow.  Have a lovely day xxx


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## jules418

Morning ladies, 

Hope you are all having a lovely weekend. Mine has been nice and relaxed so far 

Didn't do house stuff yesterday in the end do doing that today 

Had some lovely home made meatballs last night for tea yum yum.

Lottie, don't worry hun like you say the clinic say 12 hours is fine xxx fair play though I'm just to tired have stated dreaming about it though lol 

Tricia, honestly some people have no clue do they. You ignore your bid and go back when you feel ready. Ooo retail therapy sounds lovely. Got girls day with my mom on 21st Nov and day off work which is always a Bruce bonus. 

Mrsf how are you hun 

Kirstie and chixy xxxx looking foward to sat xx 

Bexter, you do make me laugh. Justin Bieber guy fawkes brilliant!!! Porch will be before Xmas fc had a few guys come round to measure up and quote and the last one who we went with said can't have a window next to the door cost loads more and won't gain anything so doing a bigger door. Afterwards I thought if the evil ff girls are correct and I have twins the buggy will fit lol. 

Aww kazza your dp is sweet bless him 

Hope you all have a lovely Sunday 

J xxx


----------



## Zana37

Hello ladies.

I have given a good thought and after reading your opinions I will go for the 3 treatments. Very likely I will start a new cycle in my next period but let's see what the private clinic will say and how we will feel about them. If Ingo for only one the pressure will be hunting me really bad and it will not be beneficial in any way.

*Bexter* no doctor have ever advised me to lay in a bed or sofa during the 2ww. I am a very active person and very much into sports. All doctors and specialists actually advised me to carry on as usual but to just limit the running or jogging. No half marathons or sprint. The time I got pregnant, I really relaxed for the first two days and then continued to exercise in the gym with weight lifting. What the doctors told me was to continue to use the load I was used to and not increase as I should keep myself where my body was used or decrease in case I felt my energy was low, as usually happens in the beginning of the pregnancy with the high levels of hormones the body is producing. So all went fine, and my miscarriage had nothing to do with my training but simply was a way for the body to expel something that was not good enough.

My problem is my mother! She REALLY likes to act as a doctor herself! She constantly made me feel guilty for my training telling me she knew more about it then the doctors and she is not even a doctor. She told my brothers wife to lay in bed for almost the 9 month she was pregnant! And made so much physiological pressure over me in regards to lay down that I decided to do that so that once again she would come around telling me "I told you so"! So I did that for two weeks even though the doctors and laboratory workers at the hospital advised me not to. The told me exactly what you said Bexter, that it could work against me. But I listened to my mother, and I felt like I wasted time doing nothing, when I could have gone for walks in the woods and enjoy the sun when it was out there (most days in Denmark and short and dark around this time of the year).

So yes I learned my lesson!

Monday I am going back to the gym and will retake my normal life. Christmas will soon be there and I want to enjoy in full the season.

I will try even harder to get a job and get very busy, so whe I will be in the next cycle my mind will not be too focused wondering if I am going to get pregnant or not.

Tomorrow I am going to buy the Q10, Royal Jelly/Bee Pollen. I have never tried so , why not?

I hope it will help!


----------



## Zana37

And by the way, thank you so much for all your words of support and thoughts. You have helped me a lot! Thank you


----------



## poppy05

Hi girls

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend

Zana, im glad you have made a decision, i personally think you have made the right one   all the best for your next go hunni xx

tricia, not long now my darling, your boss sounds a right creature!!   ignore her and just get yourself through this, hope you have treated yourself to something nice at the shops   xx

lottie, less than a week now babe, you can do it   try and chill out, and dont panic over the sex thing, all will be fine   

jules, how is the chores going? im having a tea break from mine!  

bexter, how are you today my lovely?  

Hi to everyone else xxx

AFM, im having a major clean up today, i feel like ive been couped up for weeks, and i feel like my house stinks of lazy body!!!!   so having a good clean, ive pulled out all the furniture and cleaned everything! new bedding is on, just the kitchen to go then the floors to do!!

I had a pretty bad day yesterday, felt so miserable and fed up, still questioning what ive done to deserve this? 
I guess i have to just accept its one of those things, all the moping in the world isnt going to change it, i also had a terrible day for pain and bleeding, but today im feeling so much better, so i think the worst of the actual mc is done now
Im really trying now to look forward to going away on fri, having some fun with dw, and get some bits ready for christmas
I still havent told my boss whats happened, i didnt want her expecting me back to work next week, i need to have some time to get over this physically  and mentally, i think i will contact her in the week, im not due back until 19th and im taking that time to do some things for myself.

Right my hoover is calling me!
catch you later ladies xxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Hi ladies,

*Poppy* I'm ok thanks, really feeling ok now. Im not letting myself explore google anymore to scare or worry me. Eggs retrieved are 3 month old I've heard, so trying to think happy thoughts and be calm and positive, so sticking with my health plan and that's all I can do until I have my next round. 
I'm so sorry you had a terrible day yesterday, I think those first few days your being so strong but then it comes out, tears and emotions. You have done nothing to deserve this, I'm just praying good will come so soon for you. God I know what you mean, you just want a good clean and fresh feeling in the house (I did the same). Enjoy that feeling and you've got your fab weekend to look forward too and Christmas shopping etc . Much love .

Hey *Kazza* how you doing Hun? Hope your feeling good chick . I'm alright, today's a lazy day for us, cooked a roast (minus the roast spuds though, so feel less guilty ) hmmm nice! 

*Lottie*, don't worry about the nooky thing at all, not unless your not telling that your having he most exciting sex life ever and your swinging from the ceilings or something . My friend did it the day after transfer and she was successful BFP! I did read that it can actually help, as long as it's not rough (sorry tmi ). 
I know it's hard to feel positive, this 2ww is crappy but not long now and your back at work tomorrow and have your weekend away to look forward, so keep yourself busy to not think about it too much. Your still in the game Hun, just remember that bit only! Hope to see you again soon too .

*Tricia* I think your boss should have a taste of one of your gestone jabs and let her know just what it's like! OMG!! 3 days to go! Well done for not caving in for testing early too. I don't know the answer to your question, sorry Hun. We're all so desperate to continue to get our BFPs so I understand that you have gone for it (I think I'll be the same). Thanks for your sweet message , am not giving up yet, I'm so hoping it will happen one day. Hope you enjoyed your retail therapy too.

*Jules* that's good planning, good idea to go for the larger door. Sure you'll be glad of that. Hmmm meatballs, your meals always sound so delicious!

*Zana* wow you sound so active! Sorry to hear that your mum has been doing your head in! Don't be hard on yourself but good that next time to just do the normal things and not be bed ridden, however just my personal opinion and just ask your consultant next if it is a good idea to lift weights and do more strenuous exercise that you usually do, I don't think it sounds like the best idea. Definitely walking sounds good though. Fab news that your getting those supplements though, can only help. 
Great idea about the job thing too, that's what I'm doing. I don't have enough work on now and it's not great in all senses. Good luck with that Hun.

*DinkyMinky* how dud your review go on Friday?

Hope everyone is having a nice Sunday xxx


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## tricia1012

Bexter - I like that idea and I do have plenty of spare  gestone jabs maybe I could play darts with my boss face lol . 

Lottie - omg this time next week we will know !! 

Poppy - you needed to let it all out Hun so you can heal . What your going through is awful but you have to think you have an amazing wife and great support around you and those lovely frosties to transfer . You need to have a lot of me time now so you can recover and heal properly . And if you need to rant then come on here that's what were for   I worry when your quiet xx

I went shopping today and I had to come home I have this constant crampy heavy feeling in my tummy that won't go away it's so strange !! I dunno what's going on in there I'm thinking it's prob the steroids and jabs working overtime ! 3 days !! That's all I have left of my pupo bubble !! I'll keep praying for my lil miracle


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## Theresa1975

Hi Everyone, I have not had a chance to be commenting on here or the past week however I have been keeping track of everyones progress.

*Poppy* - I am really sorry to hear your news, but I like your attitude and I hope you find success in the new year.

Congratulations to all the new BFP and positive scans coming through.

AFM, I am now 6 + 4 weeks and at last the cramping has settled down. I had some more which I thought was the OHSS starting up again last Thursday so went straight up to A&E where I found out there is 2 sacs (twins!!) However the gyno told me one was not as developed as the other and she could not see a baby in there, while the other did have a baby it not have a heartbeat. So now i am very confused as I thought the heartbeat was 'visible' from 6 weeks?

I have my original scan to confirm the cycle on Tuesday (6 + 6 weeks) so i am hoping that shows showing different.

Can anyone tell me what day they were supposed to come back and could detect a heartbeat on their first scan, as I am very confused?

Thanks


----------



## Dinkyminky

Hello,

Hope you're all OK.  Can't believe another new thread. Sorry not had a chance to read all posts.  Will try to catch up.  Have had a work week from hell.

Kazza - congrats on BFP! Amazing news. 

Poppy - I hope you're OK. You've been through so much. It sounds like you've a productive weekend. 

Lottie - Halfway through the 2ww, hope you're doing OK.

Bexter - how are you? Hope you're doing OK. Have you had your follow up yet?

Kirstie - have you heard back from consultant? Hope you get answers soon.

AFM, Monday was an emotional day but with work so busy I've loosely pushed things to the back of my mind although I know it's continually in my thoughts. Generally feeling a bit flat and recommended to take ignatia 30 (homeopathic remedy) to help me get through it all.  Our follow up on Friday was informative. DH is having a sperm DNA fragmentation test on Friday and this will hopefully give us an indication if this contributed to the poor fertilisation. Essentially and in simplistic words we were told that my eggs and DH's sperm had no chemistry, lots of swimming around but not going near to my egg. ICSI will be what we do next time. My drugs worked fine so that will remain the same. I may do an endometrial scratch. Thinking it'll be end of January we'll go again but will be determined based on DH's DNA fragmentation test as want to ensure we've 3 months to create improved sperm (despite analysis on day of EC was all good). He was suggested to take Prozeed Plus as supposed to help with sperm quality; seems a costly supplement. Anyone else's DH taking it?

Sorry for limited personals. I hope you're all doing OK. Thinking of you all and hope those who are due to have scans that they all go well.

DM
xx


----------



## Bexter83

God this is the third time I'm writing this post now, it's deleted itself twice! Copy & paste on the ready! 

*Theresa* I really hope Tuesday goes well, I'll be praying for you. Xx

*DinkyMinky* I'm glad you got some answers and sounds promising for next time now they can see what needs help, so that's really good. Have you heard of IMSI, it's where they select the best sperm and inject it like ICSI. Get your fella onto maca, it improves count, mobility and quality. It's easily available, can get it from holland & Barrett. Sorry to hear that your week at work has been stressful. It must had been a strange week for you that it's been stressful but probably wanting that distraction at the same time. Your probably exhausted from thinking all the time. My review is Thursday, fingers crossed that the consultant can fill me with confidence on how to improve my chances next time (stim more eggs). We may be cycle buddies next time!

Xxxx


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## tricia1012

Dinkyminky - sorry you've had such a rubbish week at work   Hope this ones a better one xx

Bexter - Thursday won't be long coming around I hope your review goes well and you get the information you need xx


----------



## Theresa1975

Thanks Bexter. I hope Thursday goes ok for you, its a tough time.


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## Zana37

Hi all!

*Bexter* no worries, I am very careful with training. Even though doctors tell me I can work out I reduce considerable my workout. My priority is really the pregnancy though I enjoy working out. But let's see how it goes in our medical appointments next week.

*Teresa* when I did my first scanning and we saw the baby's heartbeat clearly I was 7,5 weeks pregnant. But wait until your scanning before taking any conclusions. I hope everything will be ok.

Going to bed now. God night to you all.


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies, brrrrr it's chilly this morning, dropped the DH to the station and had to put my hood up in the car, looked like Kenny from South Park! I need to get my winter bits from the I laws house SOON!!

Hope your all feeling ok today.

*Theresa* don't panic. My sister had positive pregnancy tests (conceived naturally, lucky cow, love her loads really), went to the doctors and they were saying she wasn't, until she whipped out her testso prove it. Her scans were not easy either as the placenta was at the front which blocked the sound or waves of the heartbeat. Later on in her pregnancy she bought a home scan thingy, as some days she would feel nothing, no kicks and would scare her massively but all was ok and she has the most gorgeous but naughty little boy (must take after his Auntie  hehe). Really good luck tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you. Xx

*Zana*, really glad to hear that you take it easier in the exercise department when in 2ww and early days. Hope your feeling ok today Hun.

Xxxx


----------



## Winter Sprout

Hello ladies.
We are currently having treatment. I had 14 eggs collected on Friday 7th November, and was told on Saturday that of these, 10 were mature and 7 had fertilised. Today, we had a phone call from the embryologist to say that of our 7, one had stopped developing, four were at 3 or 4 cells, and two were top quality 8 cell embryo's. 
Due to the fact that the two better quality embryo's are the same, they can't differentiate between them and want to leave them to day 5. Is this good/normal? Feeling a bit nervous about leaving them for two more days. Positive vibes and good news stories appreciated...?


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## tricia1012

Tash and Nicky - welcome  most clinics will push your embies to a day 5 transfer if they are looking like they are dividing well at day 3 so I wouldn't worry I got 15 eggs and we went straight to day 5 but we lost 13 to get there . If you are worried I would call your embryologist and just question whether you should put them back sooner as many women go on to be pregnant with 2 and 3 day transfers   I'm sure that  your clinic are advising you right but I don't see any harm in asking them to confirm  if anything it will put your mind at ease .

Best of luck xx

Morning everyone else , omg I've got two days to go I woke up feeling nauseous today but honestly it's just cause I'm so scared for wed to come round !! I'm usually a sound sleeper and now I'm waking a few times every night ! Hubby tells me not to think about it !!!! Lol how ? Only plus is touch wood I haven't had any spotting yet but that's prob just the gestone doing the trick  Anyway I'll go back out shopping today make the most of my last few days off before I'm back to work  

Hope everyone has had a lovely weekend 

Love and baby dust to all xxx


----------



## BeckyA

Sorry no personals ladies, i need to rant!
Just got a text this morning to my UK phone (which I use as an alarm so luckily it was switched on), fom one of my uni friends saying that she has had a baby this morning!! WTF? I didn't even know she was preggers. It irks me even more that she knows about our IF and all the treatments we have had, and that after the failed cycle in June I emailed her to let her know what had happened. Didn't get a reply at the time, but thought she was just too busy and left it.
I'm really angry. Of course I am pleased for her that she's had a baby (her second), but why so insensitive to not even tell me she was expecting? It was like a slap in the face.
Rant over!


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## tricia1012

Becky - some people can be so insensitive !!! Have a good old rant  maybe she didn't tell you as she didn't want to upset you and they might have sent a group text out this morning to tell everyone without thinking?!


----------



## jules418

Morning ladies

Aww Becky     some people (ok most) just don't think, crazy to think that the brain is the biggest muscle we have but yet the most under used especially at sensitive times. Like Tricia has said I am sure it was a mass group text message to all on their phone which doesn't make the situation any better. I find that some of my friends who know about my IVF journey and lack of getting it done naturally really shove it in my face.I think they think by 'sharing' then they are helping me with that fact i haven't got any.....it doesn't But generally I am ok with the actuially baby side of things it is the pregnancy I get jealous about. It is not about not wanting them to be it is about me also wanting to be. 

Do you know my friend said the other day when I said you lot had been teasing me about twins, 'oh well at least it gets it all out the way in one go'... I don't want it all out of the way in 1 go!!!

Tricia - ooo love the shopping trips wish i could bunk off work and go shopping haa haa. As if you have 2 days to go....now isd that 2 more sleeps as in test on wed am? 

Tash_and_nicky - I mirror tricia (sorry tricia I am copying you today) clinic prefer a 5 day blast as this gives a higher percentage, how ever like tricia says ask them your concerns they really will do whatis best for a successful outcome. 
I was a 2 day transfer and I got a BFP but sometimes i think it is in the hands of mother nature and all we can do is relax (easier said than done) and be as healthy as we can. 

Poppy - how are you hun, I would also be using my holiday..it is booked so no need to go back early. 

Lottie - how are you? glad your DH is being supportive. I have found that although i thought i knew DH inside and out he has really out shone himself through all this, my mood swings and general anxiety. I think we are very lucky ladies to have such supportive partners

Sorry to those I haven'ty mentioned but you are all in my thoughts. 

Jules
xxxx


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## K.Notman

*jules418* I'm looking forward to coffee on Saturday too. I'm meeting up with an old friend at Hatton Country World on the Sunday too as they have their festive food market open that weekend with lots of free samples so it's going to be a good weekend. I think with all the yummy food you keep mentioning, we ought to do a 'come dine with me' dinner party season too!
*tricia1012* These last few days of 2ww are the worst but you can hang in there. Just make sure you do 2 at the same time in case one was a dud like mine- I don't wish that feeling on anyone- wasting your first wee of the day! Enjoy the rest of your time off- I love the duvet days, and happy shopping.
*BeckyA* Feel free to rant as we all know where you're coming form on here. Some people don't tell you anything thinking that you'll be upset but that annoys me more- treat me the same as anyone else please, just be sensitive to not rub it in my face! You have to put on such a brave face. I do mean it when I tell my friends "I'm so happy for you" but inside I'm yelling "why can't it be me!?". It will be one day though Becky so stay strong and positive.
*tash_and_nicky* As the others have said, I'm sure your clinic are doing what's best for you. We only have 2 eggs fertilise so they just put them both in on 2 day transfer as that's the best place for them. Unfortunately I was a BFN but we don't even know if they would have made it to blast. Good luck.
*Bexter83* OMG- I love the Justin Bieber Guy idea and I love the image of you with your hood up Kenny style! I drove wearing gloves today and scraped the car yesterday! Not long to wait now before you get answers. I can't believe I have to wait until Jan for my review! I've got DH on the maca anyway. It's great to hear you've turned a corner and are getting back into routines. I know it's hard but our time WILL come!
*Zana37* I'm glad you are going to talk things through with the clinics as they may have lots of positive things to try. I'd go with the three cycle option too- it's worth asking if they do a refund if you get pregnant on the first go? I know what you mean about getting back into a healthy routine again. I use exercise as my escapism but it has been a bit temperamental lately as it's getting colder/darker I find it more tempting to stop in with a movie! It's all about balance though, I have healthy days and I have treats. I'll be more disciplined in January though. I hope you stay strong and positive as you've been through such a lot, it would be understandable for you to hit 'self-destruct' for a bit and just take time-out.
*Theresa1975* I'm glad to hear you got checked out and things seem ok. Don't worry about the heartbeat yet, I'm sure a lot of development happens in these last few days. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and look forward to hearing your confirmation that all is ok.
*Dinkyminky* Sounds like you've got some good strategies to work on for next time which is very hopeful. ICSI will eliminate all problems to do with count and motility but you need to get DH on the maca for quality and this will help fertilisation. That's what my DH is doing. I bought 3 boxes of Proxeed plus but having read the ingredients, my DH is already having most of it in supplement form anyway. You are supposed to have 2 sachets a day for 6 months which I didn't realise but at that price they are bound to tell you that! So my DH is having his normal tablets (selenium, Vit E, Vit B, Omega 3, L'aginine , Q10, zinc, folic acid) and then having one sachet in his daily fruit/greek yogurt smoothie. We stil haven't had our appointment to discuss and compare all of his samples over the last year to see if this is all having any effect though.
*poppy05* I'm glad to hear that you've had a positive and productive day sorting things out. Taking control of the things you can and getting them how you want- it is empowering! And so rewarding when you can sit back with a cuppa and feel good about your accomplishments! You are going to have a fantastic mini-break and then enjoy getting ready for Christmas. January will be a fresh start for a few of us and we'll be ready and raring to give it another go. Have a good week sweetheart.
*Kazza79* Did you have a good fireworks weekend? It's great to have things to take your mind off everything and act like a normal person, lol! Are you still having a bad belly from the pessaries?
*Lottie1802* I've also heard that nookie is actually good too (something to do with the fluids but I can't remember). Anything to make you feel happy and normal and positive, it's all good- Don't let it stress you though as it would have an adverse effect. I hope these last few days fly by and we'll be congratulating with you soon. As far as my black-belt is concerned, at my club we're running a self-defence course up until Christmas, teaching people fantastic techniques to get you out of trouble without getting too much into the martial art. The ladies have been really enjoying it and picked it up really well. They are so much more confident now. I recommend it to anyone if they can look into courses in their area.
*SianB* I hope you are not too stressed about the bleed. As everyone says, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. Just hang in there. Nearly scan day.
*macca21* How is the headache? I hope it's all gone now and you can look forward to scan on Thursday. Just take it easy and look after yourself.
*2ForJoy* So glad to hear that you are well on your way now with successful scan too. I pray that the next 9 months are trouble free. Thank you for being a cycle buddy.
*Mrs_F, threebee* and anyone else I may have overlooked I hope you are well and happy.

AFM, not much to report&#8230; It's all the mundane routines now. Really busy at work now I'm running the company (Whilst' Dad & whole family are off enjoying India!) and keeping on top of my freelance stuff as well. DH's routines are just about getting there. I've managed to get him to use an App to track his daily calories because instead of losing weight over the last 3 weeks of "trying" he has gained 4lb! So I've put the ball in his court now and told him he it won't just happen because he tells himself he is being healthy, he's actually got to DO IT! We are still waiting for his GP to collect all his sperm result together before we can have a review and we'll be chasing that this week. I've still not had my consultant's letter that was apparently sent to me last week so I've contacted them again today! It's so annoying having to do the leg work all the time but if we didn't, weeks would go by with nothing happening! 
Anyway, I'm enjoying reading what you are all up to and I'm sending hugs as always. Take care.
Kirstie


----------



## Theresa1975

Thanks Kirstie...I love your little updates. 

Still nail biting about tomorrow, but I spoke to the clinic this morning and was told they normally scan at 6 weeks + 3 days, so maybe it is a case of being a couple of days to early as they are not that advanced. (I told my DH they clearly take after him if this is the case ha ha)


----------



## SianB

hello,
i spoke to my clinic this morning they advised me that the brown disharge would of been my implantation bleed, one of use did mention that to me and they told me unless i have a heavy bleed theres nothing to worry about ( even tho its hard not to)
just cant wait for friday now, scan day  jus hope everythings in the right place so i can start enjoying this pregnancy.

Theresa.. i was told anywere after 5 weeks they can hear the babys heart beat but when i phoned to book in for my scan with my clinic they wouldnt see me till iam 7 weeks because they said they may not beable to pick it up. You only being 6 weeks and they didnt pick up a heart beat, a few days makes a hell of a differance, hope tomorrow goes well for u 

xx


----------



## tricia1012

Evening ladies , 

Omg ! This 2ww has taken over and officially turned me into a mad women lol . I swore I wouldn't google everything but yep yet again I am , I'll never learn  

Woke up feeling so irritable today literally wanted to kill hubby even though he's done nothing wrong !! I've got moodiitus  even my nan was scared to talk to me . I've still got this achey crampy feeling in my tummy maybe af is trying to come   I dunno I can't take this !! Sorry for the rant but I feel a lil better now  

Lottie !! Are you ok ? Or the same as me  xx


----------



## Bexter83

Oh jeez *Tricia* is it safe to write something??  it's your hormones and the mentalness that the 2ww brings. I have everything crossed for you! Is it Wednesday you test? Xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Bexter - hi Hun you ladies are always safe with me  yep I test Wednesday morning !!! I know it's not far off guess I'm just so scared the nearer it gets the more of a reality it is , I was fine all along . How are you today? Xx


----------



## poppy05

Evening ladies

Can I just remind you all that this is a cycle buddy board, please can pregnancy chat be moved to the pregnancy boards, we still have ladies cycling, and ladies who haven't been lucky this time, whilst we all love to hear of your good news, we must remain sensitive to others.
Thankyou
Poppy xx


----------



## Kazza79

Hi everyone 

Kirstie- yes I'm still getting a upset belly from the pessories   not great tbh but small price to pay, I'm glad you are so organised and very strong as a person you will get there hun   I bet you have done all your Xmas shopping already haven't you lol  

Tricia- that's exactly how I was and still am tbh I'm a right moody cow all the time which is really odd for me   I had constant achy period pains and the odd twinge and felt sick towards test day but like you said it could be nerves ?  I have a really good feeling hun it all sounds really good for you   xxx

Lottie- not long to go hunny sooo exciting xxx

Bexter- I love my roast spuds yum lol I'm good thanks hun really knackered but im ok   Still rushing around like a crazy woman lol 

Hi to everyone else and hope you are all ok  

AFM - the days are going so slowly at the moment it's weird I don't want to wish any life away but just want it to hurry up a little bit lol I'm still super moody and short tempered which is so strange I wasn't like it with the boys so don't really understand but I do feel sorry for everyone around me lol    Lol the only crazy faces I could find pmsl xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Sorry I didn't do any personals today !! Too bus ranting 

Kirstie - you are so thoughtful with your posts !! Can't believe they still haven't sent you your letter that's cheeky ! I hope things get moving along for you know .  You are one busy lady with work and everything it's lovely that your still here with us were like a little family and we will all def be here for you on your  next cycle xx

Jules - that wasn't a nice comment from your friend   People just need to take a minute to think before they speak but I guess it is hard to understand unless you've been through what we have . Hope everything is going well for you twins would be amazing though  xx

Kazza - I'm glad I'm not the only moody one lol poor hubby is tip toeing around me  won't be long until your scan Hun ! How exciting ! Xx

Bexter - hope I didn't scare you off lol sorry for my moody rant  xx

Poppy - hello lovely ! Looking forward to our chatroom wed night  always a few funny stories to be told  xx

Lottie - just a few days !!!!!! FC for both of us xx

Theresa - twins!! I hope your scans go well and everything is all ok for you   Xx

Becky - how are you now Hun? Xx

Sorry if I've missed anyone 

Love and baby dust to all xx


----------



## Bexter83

Ha ha *Tricia* I was only kidding , you know you can always rant to us. Hope your feeling better today. I know what you mean, I was terrified of my OTD. I'll be praying for your BFP tonight .

Don't go too mad *Kazza* , take it easy Hun. My hubby got the roast potatoes. Tbh I just want to feel like me again, I had been on clomid since April, straight onto the pill to start IVF and all those drugs and I want to be and feel my normal self for these couple of months, so trying to be good. Going for my runs when it's not raining and super healthy etc. feel like it's starting to shift though.

*BeckyA* no one who hasn't been through this seems to be able to say or do the right thing at the moment , it's so raw and painful at the moment. Trust me everyday there seems to be someone who's trying to be nice and really don't actually know what I want from people right now and biting my tongue and trying to see that they are just thinking they are saying the right thing, as I'd have no friends left if I bit back. These trials and tribulations in your life is what makes you the strong person you are and when you get your bundle of Joy and when the pain has gone you'd be strangely grateful for this challenge because it would had shown you your strength and sensitive to these matters to someone else and possibly be there for someone in the future who needs someone because they're going through this. 

Fab news *Kirstie* that you've got the DH on the Maca. Hope your keeping well.

Xxxx


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## jules418

morning all 
Tricia not long now, how are you feeling about tomorrow. Don't forget to get a 2nd test, a good one like Kritie said to be on safe side.
I held 2 test sticks together and wee'd on them both at same time. 

Lottie - how are you hun, you are quiet. when is your OTD? 

Bexter - how were you on clomid? I was an evil person on that had to take myself off it before i killed one of the dogs

hope everyone else is ok on the blustery day

Jxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Hey *Jules*, how you doing Hun? 
Oh god I had heard that some people really suffer with the mood swings on it. I didn't so much but with all my hormones being out of whack, being on that and then provera to bring on a period I just felt my figure/weight change. I didn't respond to clomid, first 2 months my 21 day progesterone tests results came back as 1 !! (Less than all my other tests (usually around 2, so still no ovulation at all), I'd be taken provera after around day 35 cos a period wouldn't arrive and then third cycle of clomid, 21 day prog came back as 4. Took provera from day 16 of cycle and 21 prog came back as 29. It didn't work for me and went to doctors and was advised that even if don't respond to clomid in the way you want it too due to the hormones it can still give you the symptoms.

*Tricia* maybe get a cup and pee in that, so you have your first morning pee there if you need it. Thinking of you today, I know it's scary. Xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Oh ladies I actually feel I'll I'm so worried for tomorrow ! I think the more times you go through this the harder it gets . I've got some of the cheaply preg tests and the one the clinic gave me so should be ok . Or do you think I should buy a clearblue . 

I hope I'm strong enough to go through with it in the morning !! Might just have to get hubby to check it lol .

I'm going to try and keep busy today I woke up at 5 this morning after a crazy dream and just had this horrible feeling it was a negative ! Need a good PMA bashing these past few days


----------



## Bexter83

PMA    coming your way Tricia!! I wish I could give you a hug, I'll give you a virtual one  . 
Your symptoms sound promising Hun. Try and fill thus time with lots if things which will keep you busy because this is going to be on your mind, there's no escaping it. I know it really must be hard when it's not your first cycle because you've been there before and know the feeling of a negative but after every cycle they are learning what things need altering to increase your chances for the next time. You could be third time lucky and I praying to all the gods that you are. You got 2 amazing embies which made it to blastcyst stage. It really can be amazing news for you tomorrow.
I would recommend getting a CB or a FR test, as it's an emotional time as it is and you don't need any confusion mixed in the works. You need something which really will detect it for sure. My friend had a ff cycle buddie and was a negative but she got a positive after day 16. You need a test which will pick up on these levels.


----------



## Bexter83

Oh btw Tricia, it could be a good sign for you. I had the must realistic dream ever before I woke up on OTD and it was a positive but sadly reality was a BFN. 
Your dream could be the opposite. Xxx


----------



## jules418

Tricia - as requested,         

I did a first response one with mine as i was naughty and did an FR earlier that week so wanted to use the other as a reference see how much darker the line was. I also had a tesco one i used the day after OTD and that was lighter that the FR one could barely see it anyway i panicked bought some more FR and  they were ok lol also did the last tesco one friday just gone so 1week after otd and that was a lot better darker line. 

I think you will be fine but if you do get a very very faint line don't panic also the FR ones can be done at any time of day, I did one on an evening before otd (yes i know i went a bit crazy after that 1st test) and that was darker than the tesco one on otd. 

totally understand how you feel though big knot in tummy, somewhere between being scared to death and excitment. 

how was your shopping? 

Bexter - I am very well thanks, plodding along getting bored at work haa haa.  got on the scales the other day and I have gained 10kg since begining of sept......shocked not all of that is cos of the meds either - so back to healthy 100% now no cheating no cakes or biccies or french fries....sob

also back to SW tonight so hopefully that will give me the kick i need to get organised. My evening meals are fine it is the others that are a problem. Had shepherds pie last night with left over lamb from sunday mmmmm yummy so bought rest of that in today for lunch  

Jxxx


----------



## poppy05

morning girls

Just wanted to add, tricia on otd i did 2 tests, i did a clearblue digital and a frer, the cb was positive and the frer was neg
i dont really understand why pg tests do different things for different people, i firmly believe the onky way to be 100% is to get a blood test, ive driven myself mad with pee sticks this cycle, i did 12 in total!!!   i really do hope and pray you get tour much deserved bfp tomorrow, i have a good feeling about you, this has to be yr time  

hope everyone else is ok?
be back later, got dw granny coming for lunch


----------



## tricia1012

Thanks ladies , it's so nice having you here for support . I'm taking your advice and going to get some more preg tests in just to make  sure , don't want any confusion in the morning .

Jules - your always eating yummy food  I'm such a bad wife I rarely cook lol can we all come to yours for dinner lol  xx

Bexter - I will have to fill you in on my dream in chatroom it was so funny lol hubby thinks I'm mental . Your a great support we all need to arrange a meet up for a good old gossip  xx

Poppy - I did want to have a blood test but my clinic said there was no need they believe a preg test is enough  think I would rather the blood but nevermind xx

Lottie - I know your struggling aswell today so sending you massive   I'm   For both of us xx


----------



## jules418

Tricia - DH does majority of the cooking, I did the pie though. DH is a kitchen control freak so if i am cooking he hovers and tries to take over so i just let him but i do all the food shopping, he does these amazing turkey burgers with turkey breast mince with chilli and herbs etc mmmmmm lush

you are all welcome to chez jules any time haa haa loads of greens on the go lol 

i think for peace of mind go with a more reliable test, like poppy says shame they wont do blood tests at least then get a diffinitive answer. 

Poppy hope you are having a yummy lunch  have a glass of red for me please ... 

Jxx


----------



## tricia1012

Omg those burgers sound amazing  my hubby is half Italian so you would think he could cook but no lol , I might be a good wife and cook up a nice meal tonight at least it will keep me busy


----------



## poppy05

tricia is there no where you could just pay to get one? surely your clinic do them? its yr choice if you want to pay!  

hi jules, dw has taken granny shopping so they will bring lunch in with them, i dont like red wine yuck!   it looks nice but tastes foul
i know this sounds silly, but im not sure i want to drink? i feel like i stopped drinking alcohol 3 months ago, and if i have one now then it is really over, i know its over but, oh i dont know, am i making sense? i also dont want to drink and end up a blubbering mess, maye i'll feel different when we go away? i told dw lastnight i didnt know if i wanted to drink, so she said if i dont then we will go out for nice meals both nights, i will just play it by ear i think and see how i feel xxx


----------



## jules418

It doesn't sound silly at all but it does sound like you need to release some emotions hun, ok maybe not through alcohol but maybe this weekend will be the place to let it out and start the rebuild of you, not forgetting what has happened as you won't but maybe a way to get that beautiful smile back  
2 lovely special meals out  with DW sounds amazing you don't want to ruin that by vomming every where lol


----------



## tricia1012

Poppy - I can understand how you feel   What's happened is still fresh with you so if you don't want to drink then don't you need to do whatever makes you feel ok Hun . Nights out with some lovely meals with your dw will be perfect 

Jules don't worry if I get a bfn tomorrow I'll have a drink for you lol in fact I'll prob have a couple of bottles


----------



## K.Notman

*tricia1012 * I'm praying for your positive result tomorrow. This is the hardest day of waiting and your emotions are all over the place. Comedies are good to keep you uplifted, so get laughing and enjoy the PMA bashing we've given you . I peed in a cup so I had the wee in case I needed to do another test!- Just don't leave the cup next to the toothbrushes!!!!!
*poppy05* I waited until we went out with friends before my first drink. They make their own wine so it was a bit of a session and I was in good company so was happy. I'd already had my crying day that week when AF came as that symbolised my 'end' and I'd accepted that I was back to normal after that. You need to do what you feel best though and nice meals out sounds lovely.
*jules418* My home made burgers (and meatballs for that matter)never stick together and I end up with a pan of meat mush- all very tasty but you just get a spoonful on the plate rather than a patty! Have a good session at SW. Getting back into tracking and routine is good for the feeling of control. I'm still being a little naughty with WW (cake on Sat?!) but have got back into exercise so I let myself have the treats.
*Bexter83*, how are you hun? It's quite dull when you are back to normal routines. Do you have any nice things to look forward too?
*Kazza79* Sorry to hear you are still getting upset tummy. I don't know what to recommend really. Just keep taking one day at a time and keep your water intake up. As for the Christmas shopping- I never do anything before November and am only just starting to think about it. I try to do most of it online but struggling for ideas this year.
*Lottie*, hoping you are ok in the waiting game. I hope you are keeping happy and healthy. When is OTD?

AFM I chased my consultant about this letter and was told to speak to her secretary- I've tried phoning twice and only got the answer phone so hoping she'll respond to my message. BUT in my email reply, consultant has said that she has requested that my review will be bought forward so I'll be getting a new appointment in the post. It begs the question that if there were earlier appointments, why didn't I get one of those in the first place?! Today I've left DH the task of chasing his results to be collated at the GPs so an appointment can be made to compare them. It's like pulling teeth getting this organised! Still, we battle on. I'm running the karate session tonight so will take it out on the kids class and make them work hard, lol!
Hugs to all. Kirstie


----------



## tricia1012

So I went and bought three different tests do I think I'm covered if I'm brave enough to use them  thing is I'm up a few times during the night peeing so when do I test is anytime in the morning ok I guess ?  Hubby made a point last two cycles we had a full two weeks before test day but this time it's only 12 days I guess it's all the same it should show by now ? 
Ivf has turned me Into the biggest worrier so unlike me I'm never usually like this .


Kirstie - can't believe how much there messing you around with your appt letter !!   at least they are offering you a sooner follow up . Hope dh gets his results back ok aswell  xx


----------



## poppy05

Kirstie its so frustrating isn't it, and i would definately say something, how can they suddenly offer you a sooner appointment when they couldn't see you any earlier originally?!!!! 
I couldnt gett a quick appointment with our consultant, so we are seeing someone else, she did do my ec so at least we have met, and she is very nice, but i wont be happy until i know they are covering all areas to prevent me mc again!! 


Tricia, i did my test at 5am, as long as you have gone about 4 hours you'll be fine


----------



## Bexter83

Well done *Tricia* on getting those extra pee sticks. Think your OTD was 12 days because it's 12 days from a 5 day transfer. I think that's why. 
   god your BFP! Xxx
Yeah I agree! We should all get together, that would be lovely! Haha I reckon we should all gate crash Jules house, her food always sound amazing!! 

What a nightmare *Kirstie*!! I'm v grateful for our NHS system, we're v lucky to have this service but unfortunately it is a case of those who scream louder seem to get quicker appointments. Suddenly they miraculously find a new earlier appointment. Maybe on the calendar they have spaces saved for crazy people . You almost have to behave in a way that isn't really you but it's the only way to get what you want. I learnt this from when I was needing my tonsils removed. After 2 years of being fobbed off I had to become a pest and then I refused to leave the doctors surgery (I think I actually scared the doctor, lol). I've had to be the same with this fertility issue for these last couple of years and I totally understand where your coming from with it. Sounds like your keeping on top of it and really chasing them up. I really hope your appointment you get through now is very soon. 
I really feel that what the DH and I have been through, we really could do with a break. Then it's a catch 22 because with the money side of IVF, so unsure if we're able too? So depressing because the money we spent on the cycle we could had gone away with our friends (they invited us to go to Sweden in Jan) and money left over but hey ho, that's life. We're going to go to see the book of Mormons show though and should be laugh. I'm just so happy to feel ok and really starting to enjoy the things I did before again. I'm running and enjoying all my music and am not feeling tearful. Have some work shifts coming up and applied for more jobs today, so things are looking up. 
Lol, you sound hardcore!  those poor kids, hehe. Enjoy karate tonight.

Know what you mean *Poppy* about the alcohol. I don't fancy it either and I used yo find any excuse before. Weird isn't it!?

Xxxx


----------



## 2ForJoy

Hello girls!

I have nabbed a laptop so I can pop on post properly! I was guna buy a new one but a) they will be cheaper after crimbo (FX!) and b) my car is now un-expectedly poorly too now!  I wonder what the 3rd will be......

I'm not going to be able to go all the way back, but I will give it a good ole' try!

*Tricia*- I'm so excited for OTD for you! This must seem like a really long journey for you? I only used FRER, reason mainly being they were on offer in Superdrug! I did 7 of the blasted things and I will say POAS tests can really mess with your head! I'm glad I stuck to the one brand in the end but it really did worry me how feint my line was on OTD (hence testing daily for the following week!). They did get progressively darker over about 3/4 days but then went lighter.... maybe it was just a different batch!

With regard to the bloods, my clinic do them, however, going to london just for a blood test wasn't feasible at the time, especially with the bloating and pain. I therefore found a clinic in a neighboring town where I could get it done. If your clinic are dead set against it you could try checking out other clinics, or even beg the GP! I know many won't do it, mine however would have as she knows how IF has affected mentally over the last 5 years.

Sorry for the essay!! Good luck for tomorrow 

*Bexter & Poppy*- hope you are both OK? Don't feel pressured into drinking alcohol. If you don't fancy it then enjoy something else like some posh-nosh! i'm so sorry you are in this situation and hope that spending time with your loved ones eases the pain slightly.  *Poppy*- I hope you have a wonderful time in Brighton at the weekend! i love that place! 

*Kirstie*- have fun at karate! I wish i had motivation to exercise right now but it's just too chilly! Am already in a onesie waiting for DH to come home so we can have dinner! I'm sorry you're having such a nightmare of it with organising everything  DH and I are not entitled to NHS assistance due to his NOA (still makes me SO mad!). So when we were ready to start TX we actually joined a different clinic- it is private but treats NHS patients too. Well it treated so many more NHS that in the end we felt like we were paying to be treated at (lower than) NHS standards! We were all ready to go ahead with DIUI but after 7 weeks and 2 AF's they STILL were not able to book in our compulsory counselling!! Needless to say It made us reconsider who we have our TX with! Yes london is a lot further away and more expensive, but the level of service doesn't compare. And I have been lucky enough egg share going down this route (I wanted to donate eggs after DH diagnosis). I don't know what my point is now (!), just that I understand how frustrating it can be! (sorry for the LOOOONG story!) 

PS- tip for the burgers- if you don't want to add an egg for them to bind, you can alwasy add couple teaspoons of worcestershire sauce! Works a treat for me! 

*Jules*- how are you feeling hun? Have you joined the "waiting for a scan" thread yet? I love homemade burger but homemade shepherds pie sounds LUSH! 

*Lottie*- can't be long now?! I have everything crossed for you hun 

*Kazza*- cheer up sweetie! I know what you mean about time tho! Every hour feels like a day for me1 I'm super busy at work so can't imagine how much worse it could be!! have you joined the "waiting for a scan" thread yet? 

*Theresa*- I hope you're well hun? Did you have your scan today? have you joined the "waiting for a scan" thread yet? 

*Sian*- Hows the spotting? Eased I hope? have you joined the "waiting for a scan" thread yet? 

*AFM*- WOW- that was long-winded! Sorry! All is OK this end, just a waiting game atm (isn't it always with TX?!). Been preoccupying myself with Christmassy things like food lists, shopping and driving DH nuts! That's when I'm not snowed under at work!

Anyway, I hope each and every one of you are OK? Hugs all round


----------



## Kazza79

Hi everyone 

Tricia-  have some of these young lady     Lol but omg it's almost here hun not long till its poas time  try not to drink after  8pm tonight then you should be able to sleep longer with out needing a wee   I'm so excited for you hun I know it's going to be a great result for you, and defo use a good brand test hun clearblue or first response. 
I'm       For a great result for you hun, 

Poppy- hope your are ok hun   
My clinic wouldn't do the blood test either I assumed all the clinics did the same stuff but they all seem really different don't they   

Bexter- I know what you mean hun all the meds make you feel so weird like you are someone else for a while if you know what I mean, i used to love running but haven't been for ages but I do miss it tbh xxx

Lottie- how are you feeling hun ? Xxx

Kirstie- thanks hun I'm so unorganised and leave everything to the last min then have to dash to bluewater and shop for hours lol crazy but I do it every year   Lol xxx

2forjoy- thanks hun I haven't joint it no as I like chatting to you lot but know its not the place for that chat, have you joined it? Xxx

AFM- it horrible now as I can't keep up with you lot anymore because I'm back at work   I feel like I'm missing loads now   bloody work ! 
Hope everyone is ok and happy xxxx


----------



## 2ForJoy

kazza- I know it's horrid not being able to keep up, makes me feel guilty! But I genuinely do check several times a day and think of you all on your journeys   yes I joined just before my scan but haven't really posted until just now.  It's a great thread albeit fast moving like this one!  I find this one easier to remember who everyone is (but i guess that comes in time) x


----------



## Kazza79

2forjoy - thanks Hun I just posted   about my fat bloated ness lol are you having that problem too? I'm so uncomfortable :-( I just hope it's ok x


----------



## Mrs_F

Evening all, no time for personals, but just popping in to say HELLO and send love and luck to Tricia for tomorrow... Eeek! So very excited for you  with my first cycle I tested about 2am - I figured any time after midnight was OTD! Also, if you are feeling nervous, I always pee in a pot and then dip the stick - I was always worried I would miss the stick or something and have no wee left!  Very best of luck for you...   

Kirstie - that's a pain about your appointment... I always found that the waiting and "being in other peoples hands" further compounded the helplessness that infertility makes you feel anyway... I wish clinics would learn  GRRR! 

Hi to everyone else... I have skipped the 'waiting for scans' page - and skipped to the OTD pages... Hopefully see some of you there soon.

A big hello to my cycle twin Jules, and a group hug to everyone here x


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## tricia1012

Thanks for all your lovely messages ladies   It's so great having your support , today has gone far to quick for me lol !!!


----------



## BeckyA

Good luck for tomorrow *tricia*!


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## threebee

Thinking of you tomorrow Tricia


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## Zana37

Good evening girls!

So here I am again.

*Poppy* yesterday I simply had a day similar to the one you described the other day. I felt so upset! I was down and sad asking for how long do I have to go through this. I simply cried a river and wondered why me! I screamed so loud and asked God why me! But today I feel much better.

So on the 25th of November I will have a meeting with my doctor for my review and a copy of the files of all treatments and exams I have done, so that I can hand it to the new clinic where I will do my next treatment. I have an appointment on the 2nd of December with one very good clinic in Copenhagen and with another one on the 12th. Today my family doctor sent me to perform some blood exams to be ready for the appointments for the new treatments. Based on the meetings I will have with these two clinics I will chose which one to go. Both of them actually receive patients from the UK and Germany too. And the first meeting is free of charge, which is great, because in that first meeting and based on the blood samples and medical exams they will be able to see and the logs for the other IVF they will let me know right away what treatment they think is best and what their honest opinion on the success rate is. I know I cannot produce many,or high quality eggs but I want to try with my own eggs.

I also found a clinic in Barcelona and another in Lisbon that seem to be very good. So I am actually happy to have suddenly so many options available without so long waiting list.

*Kristie* I will definitely go for the treatment in DK with the package of 3 offer if I like them when I go for the interview. Let's see. I didn't exercise since my BFN day but tomorrow I am hitting the gym and will do some Zumba at home. I am actually a licensed Zumba instructor  but like you Kristie I also like the rough sports and do Cross Fit and Boxing training along with some muscle workout with weights. But also like Yoga and Pilates. I am like: I'm every woman! My brother loves Karate and, I would love to learn self defense. I am kind of scared of being attacked, so if I go out at night I carry my pepper spray. is actually forbidden to have one in Denmark. If the police catches me with it , they will take it from me and give me a fine. but if that happens I will just buy another one in Germany, they don't sell it here. I watch a lot of FBI files just learn about the mind of a criminal and I am very well equipped with that  . So Kristie, if we get to be together one day you need to teach me some tricks.

You talked about cooking, well today I just got my huge oven that we bought from Germany installed. I love to cook! And I love to cook for a full table of friends. Oh it is a pity I don't live in England otherwise you would all be invited for a big roasted turkey! I am preparing one for Thanksgiving! I decided that this year, I want to give thanks for the things I already have instead of focusing in what I miss to have!

Here is something you don't know about me, after my miscarriage as a form of therapy I started to bake cakes. I took many cake decorating courses and people started to love my cakes so much that suddenly I started to receive so many requests to bake cakes for parties weddings and baby showers. Many of this people, I didn't even know them! So I baked so much that my old oven broke down  so we decided to buy a big semi professional oven! We got a big Gaggenau! And as irony of the destiny, most of my requests are for Christenings or baby showers. I put all my love and dedication in my cakes just hoping one day, I will be baking my own little baby's cake! I pray for that   

*Tricia* I wish you all the luck I didn't have for you tomorrow! Will pray for you.

Big kiss to you all!


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## poppy05

tricia         


zana,    its good to get it all out hun, i still havent cried


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## Bexter83

*Zana*       ^hugme. Been meaning to ask you how you are. Sounds like you've made lots of progress on the clinic side of things . You are such a sweetheart, I hope you feel better tomorrow and start feeling better everyday. Good that you got your new supps and getting back I to your training......no flies on you! 
The DH and I went to Copenhagen for my birthday couple of years ago, went to Tivoli World and the Christmas market, it's lovely there! You and your partner need to treat yourselves and enjoy each other, I'd def recommend going to Tivoli and the most amazing restaurant I've ever been too, it's called Kiin Kiin. Don't go for the taster menu if your a lightweight, I shouldn't had drank before we went and I was wasted by the 4th course and swiped the next tables candle out with my arm and almost fell down the stairs, I was only triumph to find the loo . 
Sending you big hugs Hun and if your ever in the UK we should all go out.

Tricia good luck Hun xxx

Totally Kazza! Didn't realise just how powerful hormones can be, scary! I really hope your feeling better and the sickness is easing off, those progesterone pessaries have a lot to answer for. Ginger or chamomile tea may help settle the stomach? Xxx


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## jules418

Hi all

Quick one from me sorry, 

Tricia thinking of you and fc for good results  

Zana definitely up for dinner round yours I feel a dk trip at the ready he he 

2forjoy like mrsf I went straight to the due date thread

Off to bed now tomorrow will be a good day or it will have me to deal with!!! 

Love to all 

Jules xxx


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## tricia1012

Thanks again for all the good luck wishes !! I really appreciate it , can't get to sleep think it's going to be a long night  

Will update you all in the morn whatever the result

Love to all xx


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## poppy05

awww tricia i can fell your anxiousness   tomorrow is going to be the beginning of a wonderful new journey, dont be scared,


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## Lottie1802

Good luck Tricia eeeek!!!


----------



## tricia1012

Morning ladies,

Well as usual I woke up dying for a wee !! Held it for as long as I could but it hurt lol so I woke hubby at half four oops !! Three different tests and all came up positive !! 

I'm in total shock I can't honestly believe it I know it's early days so I have to be cautious but just to get to this stage is amazing . I was terrified yesterday and I couldn't have got through it without all of you so Thankyou so much   

Now we've just got to get my Lottie through her test day and I have everything crossed for her positive  

Love you all xx


----------



## Zana37

Good morning girls!

*Tricia* Big congrats in your positive result! This is wonderful any gives me even more hopes that miracles are possible.

*Bexter* as you can imagine I have been to Tivoli many times and will soon be there again for the Christmas season which is simply magical and beautiful! What a great story as about Kiin Kiin  My hubby took me there less then about a year ago and yes the food is fantastic!

If any of you happen to come to Copenhagen please let me know! It would be great to invite you for dinner at mi casa!  and I meant it Jules  

*Poppy* how are you feeling today ?

Girls I am completely in love with the English countryside cottages in the spring or summer. Does anyone knows a beautiful, small hotel cottage perhaps not many mew away from London? I would say max some 2-3 hours by train. We would be very afraid of reverse driving in England. Neither I or the hubby would dare to drive there


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## tricia1012

Zana - Thankyou it's been a long 5 years it's true miracles do happen so don't give up hope   Wishing you the best of luck with your next cycle xx

I live In Hertfordshire there's a few nice hotels in a place called Chalfont near us and it's only an hour commute into the heart of London by train there's lovely scenery around there aswell


----------



## Mrs_F

Yayyyyy!  xxxx congratulations!  

Stupid ff won't let me do my usual dancing for joy emoticons. But YIPPEEEEEE


----------



## 2ForJoy

Oh Tricia! I'm so happy for you hun! Hugggee congrats to you both!


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## Bexter83

Congratulations Tricia. I deep down knew it I just don't like to say anything incase people think I've jinxed it or something. You must be absolutely over the moon and your success story has really given me hope too.

Zana you'd probably also like The Cotswolds in Oxfordshire, especially if going during the festive season. The town/village has cobbled paving and quaint shops and plenty of countryside surrounding. Gloucestershire is in that region and Daylesford farm has lovely produce and a farm shop, when it went we saw Jodie Kidd there. They have a cookery school which I did for a day (birthday & Xmas gift) and was brilliant. Lots to do, only 1-2 hrs from Central London. Also Devon is nice for countryside and coast. It has the Dartmoor Forrest  and it's majestic. There's a hidden place called Becky Falls which has an amazing water fall and huge rocks all in this Forrest. Around there has River Cottage which hosts lovely banquets and cookery school/classes there too. This is about 3 hrs from London.

Xxxxx


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## Kazza79

Tricia- congratulations hun     I'm so pleased for you I knew it was going to be a great result for you hun all the signs where there   look after yourself hun xxxx I will be on later xxxx


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## threebee

*Tricia*! So happy for you, huge congrats!!


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## tricia1012

Thanks so much everyone


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## jules418

Well this has totally made my day and ruined my make up haa haa haa  YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
So so so so pleased for you both I just want to swear really load 'hoop da loo **** yeah!!!!!!!!!!'
Enjoy the moment and remember to relax and take it easy whilst little bean snuggles in for winter  

Lottie when is your OTD? are you ok you have been quiet recently....

I can't make the chat room tonight as out with family hope i dont miss too many funny stories BIG love and cuddles to you all. 

Zana - you are lovely .... xxx

Have agreat day folks 
xxxxx


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## poppy05

tricia, im over the moon for you sweetheart, such wonderful news to wake up to, congratulaions  

and now our darling little lottie, the last one,     sending you lots of positive vibes, and courage, you can do this, 2 more days, hang in there darling


----------



## Theresa1975

Congratulations Tricia with your BFP...xx

what pregnancy board is everyone moving too - I cant work it out;-)


----------



## GTCTTWW

tricia Huge congratulations to you both   

Lottie Thinking of you and hoping all goes well


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## BeckyA

Many congrats *tricia*, fantastic news!!


----------



## jules418

Theresa1975 - MrsF and I are on this one BFP - Due date July/August 2015 be nice to have some familar faces on there.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=329717.0

we didn't bother with the scan one as i thought it would make me anxious like the 2ww one did.

I can't believe we only have one OTD left...... what happens then... we will all keep in touch wont we??


----------



## tricia1012

Were def keeping in touch I wouldn't have got through this without all of you   And to all our lovely ladies who are going to have to cycle again we will be there with you every step of the way  xx


----------



## K.Notman

CONGRATULATIONS *tricia1012*! So happy for you, after all that anxiety. I hope you can relax a little now and sit out the wait until scan day.

Poppy- What does happen to this thread when Lottie has done OTD, will we keep posting if we want to keep in touch or not? I imaging the chat will be less about fertility as we will all be between various appointments until some of us start out next cycle and will probably join a Jan/Feb cycle buddy board again.

I won't be around on chat any more I'm afraid. I've been roped into helping with the church panto and rehearsals are Wed and Thurs evenings! We are doing "Cinderella the sequel" Quite funny actually!
Have a great day everyone xxxx Kirstie xxxx


----------



## poppy05

Hi girls
Dont panic, our thread will be kept open for as long as people are posting, eventually it will get moved over to tge longvterm chat buddies, i still post on a cycle buddy thread i was on in 2007!!! 
it would be lovely to all keep in touch, and i wont be joining a new group for fet, you lot are stuck with me!!!  
so just continue to chat here if you want to stay xx


----------



## Theresa1975

Thanks Jules, I will join that one now...although will keep checking in here for updates although not sure what happens now that everyone is tested except for Lottie?

Just before I sign over, to update anyone interested I had my 'proper' scan yesterday at 6 weeks + 6 days, and viola for my sins we now have 2 strong heartbeats and twins yes TWINS!!! confirmed...after bursting into tears at ET when they told me the low grade (hence why they put back my only 2 still going out of 17!) it really does go to show you cant always judge the embie by its grade, and sometimes it only does take the one (or in my case the 2). 

See you on the other side...

xx


----------



## poppy05

Haha i still cant believe its twins!!! so happy for you theresa


----------



## tricia1012

Theresa - wow that's amazing !!

Poppy - we wouldn't let you join anyone else we'll be your cycle buddies for your fet ! I'm afraid your stuck with me to


----------



## macca21

Tricia thats amazing news congratulations   

Theresa TWINS thats amazing and am so made up everything is ok 

Xx


----------



## jules418

TWINS!!!!!! oooooo exciting  I read a hints and tips page the most useful was buy a thermos mug as your tea will go cold lol loved that !!!

Yay I am glad we can continue with this board, really grown to love you girls and I would be lost with out you
xxxxx

GROUP HUGS


----------



## Bexter83

Wonderful news Theresa, you must be so relieved and thrilled! That's fab Hun  .

Cool that's great Poppy! I really feel a bond with you girls and feel like we've been on such an emotional journey together, so great that this thread will remain open, if it does go off on random tangents sometime. I'm really pleased with that and ha ha I'm with you Poopy, your just going to have to put up with us !! Sorry

Lottie hope your doing well Hun 

AFM, I have my review tomorrow night. In my head I have a plan of doing up to 3 cycles (    happen before or by this), if it's the same issue which reoccurs and IVF just doesn't work for us (I think it's always going to be my egg issue tbh), then I'll discuss donor egg options. I want my husband to be able to have his own offspring, I don't want to deprive him of this. If not poss we will go through adoption route. Anyways, one step at a time. 
If anyone has any good questions you think I ought to ask in my review tomorrow, they'd be greatly appreciated. 
Also, I heard that your very fertile the month after an IVF cycle. Probably a stupid question but if I usually don't ovulate or release eggs on my own, would this still apply to me? Confused.com

Love to all xxxx


----------



## jules418

Bexter, It is good you have a plan I am terrible for having a Plan A B C D E F etc maked DH mad lol 

I know from some threads i have read that doner egg and oner sperm options although initially can be hard to comprehend, if it works then the end result is a beautiful child born from love and bought in to a loving environment there is no question the baby is 'yours' so to speak. 
See what yor consultant says 1st then you can come up with plan B & C  etc as with out all the current facts you are burning energy that can be put to good use elsewhere ( I amgood at saying this not so good at doing my own advise) 

Not sure about how fertile you will be but if unsure get some of the CBD ovulation tests, get the advanced ones they are purple, I found those to be better than the pink ones as they cover more days  they are about £30 for 10 I think. you get a cirlce if not ovulating soon a flashing smiley face if going to ovulate in the next few days and solid smiley face if ovulating in 24 hours so get down and get funky  Or just do it every other day  morning is supposed to be the best time, not sure why but at least starts the day of well haa haa. 

BTW I am bored at work today so I may be posting overkill sorry if i bore you all  to death haa haa. 
Jules
xxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Thanks for the advice *Jules* , that's great, much appreciated .
How you doing?

Kirstie your panto sounds fab! Are you going to be in it? Who are you playing? I don't know how people do it!? I was banned from drama class at school eventually because I used to just pee myself laughing so much (well not quite literately ) and spent about an hour trying to get 1 sentence out! Ha ha hope you have better luck!
How was karate last night too?

Xxx


----------



## threebee

*Theresa * wowww!! Congratulations!!

Sorry if my posts have been a bit few and far between at the moment, just busy but hope to catch up in chat!!


----------



## K.Notman

Yay *Poppy*, we'll be staying on this thread then forEVEEERRRRRR! Unitl our children have grown up, got married and, well, the internet will be so different then- gosh, brain hurt thinking about 20yrs of how technology has changed and will change!
*Bexter*, It sounds like you are planned up! Using donor stuff is still possible and you will hopefully still give birth and raise said child so it doesn't take anything away from that. Having my sister's donor eggs and DH sperm, we see ourselves as TEAM NOTMAN! I can understand that you want to do everything that you can 'your way' first though so I'm hoping you have a really positive review and can get things moving in the right direction for the next cycle. I don't have a clue about ovulation stuff- what with not having ovaries, I'm clueless!!!
karate was really good thanks. Having done my 2nd Dan Black Belt exam in June I'm taking my training a bit easier and focusing on instructing the cadets through their Gradings as we have some big ones in the next month. So I was doing a lot of focused pair work rather than the cardio but I progressed one student ready for her exam next week so felt really good. 
As for Panto- I've been on stage doing amateur stuff since I was 12ish- On my ******** I have lots of dodgy backstage photos of me as Smee in Peter Pan, King Rat's side-kick in Dick Whittington and lots more randoms! Panto is great because it's very tongue in cheek and you can be really cheesy and OTT and it's great. I'm just in the chorus this year as I had thought I was going to preggers in Jan so wasn't going to be in it, now they desperately need to fill parts so I've stepped in. I do all the stage set designing, making & painting anyway and DH does back stage for the shows. We do 3 different venues over 3 weekends in January where every penny goes to a mixture of 6 local charities. We raised an awful lot last year and it's given us the confidence to go for it again. Our Director writes her own shows and it's a little eccentric but great fun and the people are all so lovely. I'll have to get you to come *Jules*, lol!
*Thersa*- CONGRATULATIONS on twins! Having had 2 put in myself, I allowed myself to wander about the possibility- scary but exciting! I pray it's a good pregnancy for you xxx
*Jules*, I keep getting distracted at work but really need to be cracking on! See you soon.


----------



## jules418

Ooo kirstie sounds fab I am well up for some 'he's behind you' hollering  haa haa 

I think eccentic people come up with the most entertianing stories haa haa. 

Right am off for lunch - costa coffee anyone  

Jules
xxx


----------



## 2ForJoy

Omg Theresa!! That's amazing! Take care of that precocious cargo hun!

Glad ur working hard Jules!!  I struggle to post at work as must be done by Moby.... Internet usage monitored 

I'm so glad to hear that we can all stay friends on here! Yay!

As for other boards, I'm only currently on waiting for early scans, too afraid to join bfp due June yet! MaybMaafter 12 week scan :/ 

Hope everyone is enjoying "hump day" !! X


----------



## 2ForJoy

Obv I meant precious!!


----------



## Kazza79

Theresa- that's such great news hun I bet you are over the moon   Did your dates match up with what your clinic said ? Or do they not date yet?? Xxx

Will be back later ladies   xxx


----------



## Lottie1802

Hey ladies,

Firstly a massive congrats to the lovely tricia , my little 2ww buddy, i feel lonely being in this on my own. It couldnt of happened to a nicer girl cant wait to have baby updates from you x 

Theresa wow twins! Thats just greedy ;-) congrats though and good luck sounds like you have some fun ahead x 

Bexter i am doing ok luvvy hanging in there x 

Thanks for all the pma , just trying to stay sane or the last two days otd is friday. So i'll update you either way x x


----------



## poppy05

Hi girls
Hope to see some of you in chat tonight
i should be there for 7.30, i may be a few mins late, im making dw a roadt dinner, she back at work today and ive not cooked a meal for 5 weeks!!   so thought i would make her a nice dinner, she doesnt get home til gone 7, so i'll be in when ive finished dinner xx


----------



## tricia1012

Lottie Hun your are def not alone were here with you praying for your bfp !! Keep your chin up lovely xx

Poppy - I'll see you in chatroom tonight I love our chats  enjoy your yummy roast I would love hubby to cook me one  there's a Toby carvery near us I may have to go there tonight you've made me hungry lol 

Chat tonight ladies , bring your funny stories  

Xx


----------



## Kazza79

Hi all 

Iv got youth club pick up at 7.30 so will be back about 8 ish for chats if that's ok to come on later    xxx

Lottie- when is your OTD hun ? How are you feeling ? Xxxx


----------



## poppy05

kazza we are usually still rabbiting away at gone 10.00 so pop in whenever your free hunni xx


sending big    to lottie, i know your struggling babes, but not long now             i feel like we are all waiting at the finishing line for you, im the fat one with pom poms 'give us an L, give us an O give us a TTIE, come on lottie'!!!!!!!!!! your nearly there sweetie xxxx


----------



## 2ForJoy

C'mon Lottie!  Not long now my lovely!  

Poppy- enjoy the roast (yum!).  I'm being bad and having fish n chips so may not make chat... will defo try tho!  

Evening to everyone else, I hope you're all good?

I'm feeling a bit down today  Been really teary for some reason so DH is treating me to a naughty fish n chip supper


----------



## Lottie1802

Kazza it's Friday! Eekkkk

Poppy you crack me up! I can't wait to get my Pom poms out for you! No wait that sounds weird!!! 

2 for joy just two more days  

AFM it's been a teary day , it really dawned on me what a horrible journey this is, the only good thing is the truly humble people you meet along the way who barely know you but yet know you better than some of your closest friends just because they understand how this feels , you have picked me up when I'm down and I'll never forget it ladies , let's hope I finish this cycle buddies on a high note ...I'll try


----------



## poppy05

Im sure you have very lovely pom poms lottie!!


----------



## Lottie1802

Amazing Pom poms lol

Tricia update your signature , third time lucky indeed


----------



## Kazza79

I came on the chat room but no one I know was there   xxx sorry I was probably a bit to late xxxx 
Night all x


----------



## Lottie1802

Right ladies , so I got up today to test (a day early) because I have no pessaries left so I would need to go pick some up if I needed them. I'm naughty I know!

So I'm cautiously writing this , but I got my BFP.

I am completely in shock , I was really convinced this hadn't worked. But I'm hoping this sticks   

        

As I said yesterday I will never forget each and every one of you , you've been the best support anyone could of asked for!
And to the girls that did not get the result they wanted , please do not give up, because this is so worth all the heart ache we put ourselves through


----------



## Bexter83

Wonderful news Lottie!! Huge congratulations!! Xxx


----------



## Mrs_F

Yay Lottie! Whoop whoop! I logged in this morning with a sneaky feeling you might have tested... HURRAH! congratulations!


----------



## threebee

Lottie!! I don't know why but like Mrs_F I had a feeling you might test today too! Didn't I tell you not to worry? This is so fantastic! So many


----------



## tricia1012

Lottie - my little cycle twin  I told you all along you were !! This is the best news ever 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 

Massive congrats to you and hubby you really deserve this .
Now what time am I coming round to watch you eat your hat  

So were all tested out ! But this is not the end walnut whippers  I've truly made some great friends on here so don't any of you go anywhere keep this thread going and if course our chat room nights  
New year we need to get our last few ladies there BFP's ( and that's def going to happen! )  every single one of you deserves your dream we won't give up !!

Bexter let us know how you get on later today Hun xx

Love and baby dust to all xxx


----------



## Bexter83

This is not the end of the Walnut Whippers.....don't take that away from me or I'll need a ff thread on grieving after the loss of the Walnut Whippers!    no joke man!! 

This has been a very life changing 5 weeks for me and most likely for you all too. Although been tackling infertility for a while, this is hardcore and deep down have had the best times with you all, going through it. You've been there when I needed you and I hope I've been there for you when you've needed someone. IVF is not guaranteed but it's been absolutely wonderful and encouraging to see that so many of you got your BFPs. 

So I will let you know tomorrow how my review goes tonight. I would greatly appreciate any of your success stories, that you got your BFP from v low quantity of eggs retrieved and not the best quality, day 3 transfer maybe. 

Kirstie your panto sounds fab! I'm LOLing at the thought of Jules hollering at the back . Hope your karate student passes her exam too. 

Xxxx


----------



## tricia1012

Threebee- I forgot to say best of luck with your scan !! Let us know how it goes xx


----------



## threebee

*Bexter* - You are so lovely, and no it's definitely not the end of the Walnut Whippers! Good luck with your review 

*Tricia* - Thanks so much! Just munching down some toast! Bet Lottie will be jealous I have an appt with her precious dildo cam hahaha


----------



## Zana37

Good morning girls!

*Lottie* Big big congrats!it is so great to weak up with these wonderful news! I believe it gives us all hope that miracles can happen.

*Tricia* like you said, it was 5 long years trying hard to conceive, and hopefully next year you will be holding your baby and these years will feel like distant memories  Thank you for your suggestions for my dream countryside English holiday. It took note of the place! If I happen to go there, you must invite me for tea   

*Bexter* Thank you for your suggestions as well. I can't wait to have a proper mini holiday plan. I will for sure let you know where I will end up going! 

We are not in control of the future but we can control our attitude. I have decided from now on to be much more positive towards everything that happened to me since I have started all these fertility treatment cycles. There is a reason why it didn't happen yet. There's a much bigger plan for my life. A plan of happiness and joy.I know that this mountain is difficult to climb but one day I will be in the top of it looking down and seeing all the way I walked. The little stones and big rocks, where I almost slipped. The little branches I held for support and strengh , that even though they where little, they proved to be a great source of strengh to help me continue my way to the top. In that day I will smile and get an understanding of why God made me walk that way and not an easier one. I know the view will be marvelous! I know not if in the way down I will have a baby in my arms. I know Heavenly Father knows this is my biggest wish in life, and I also know he wants to see me happy. I know he has a perfect plan of happiness for me. I only don't know what that plan is, so I decided to trust that His plan is better than mine. And so I will trust him with all my heart while I continue my journey through the challenges of infertility. And how great is to continue my journey with the support of all of you!


----------



## Bexter83

Such a beautiful message Zana , I'm now I tears, thanks! Hehe. 
You are right and I feel this too. I'm so happy you are feeling strong and positive, that's brilliant. Yep do let me know where you end up going. For any hotels, cottages, b&b's, restaurants and things to do, go onto trip advisor, it's a great website to get an idea of places. If you do go to Devon, there's a great B&B called AllHallows (if the owners are still there?) it's a fantastic building, really high ceilings and they cook you the yummiest breakfasts on the aga. Spillers Farm B&B was also nice but def AllHallows was brilliant. 
You inspired me actually. I've really felt like I just want to run away and have a crazy time with the DH, money's tight right now so I'm going to make him go to Winter Wonderland and have a day drinking Scandinavian Glogg (extra shot )and mulled wine and enjoy all the festivities. Xxxx


----------



## jules418

Oh My Fricking GAWDDDDDDDD this is wonderful news damn me for wearing mascara today haa haa. Lottie I am sooooooooooo chuffed for you   

Zana, beautiful words and you are right there are somethings that we can not control so enjoy life to the max as you just don't know what is around the corner. And like you said be thankful for what is in your life right now. You are a very strong woman with great insight you are welcome at chez Jules anytime you are in brirmingham....that goes for all you girls by the way. 

Defo think we should have a mass get togetherxxxx

I am glad this isn't the end for us walnut whippers it is another chapter in the book, I look forward to this and the next chapters that will be happening in our lives from the growing tummies to stalking the next cyclers and then their growing tummies. 

I don't know how i would have gone through this crazy journey with out the support and love and well mainly the beatings of PMA from you all. 

How wa sthe chat room last night sorry I wasn't able to join you all I love those chats  anyone about this evening? 

I have serious amount of house work to do and would love a distraction haa haa

Julesxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Zana37

*Bexter* you so need to come back for. Visit in Denmark one day! 
We actually invite friends for Gløgg and æbleskiver some days before the Christmas festivities it is soooo cozy!

I feel like watching Love Actually again! It is so much fun and all about Christmas!


----------



## jules418

Good choice Zana, I love that film. and the holiday with Cameron Diaz ooo and Elf and my favorte jingle all the way.....I love cheesey arnie films haa haa


----------



## Bexter83

OMG Christmas officially starts in our house as soon as watch Elf!! 

Last year we did up a property and was there Christmas time and didn't get to put a tree up.....so depressing. So I got a a tiny plant and decorated it  and cannot believe we won't be having a tree again in this place , loads of our stuff is stored at the inlaws. Zana I have these lovely glass traditional Danish Christmas heart decorations. You know the red & white one with the diamond shapes in. 

Zana I'll def hold you up to that in the future! And we'll both have extra baggage with us but they won't be allowed the glogg . 

Xxx


----------



## K.Notman

My my, this is an emotional catch up session today! I too just want to echo all the comments on how supportive this forum has been for me and how I am very grateful for the friendships I've made. I look forward to following you all on your journey to motherhood xxx
*Lottie* my love, I'm so happy for you! CONGRATULATIONS! You need to get yourself some more progesterone though as I think you still need it- I'm sure your clinic will advise and see if you can push for a blood test for that extra peace of mind and confirmation- I would- I'd be testing all week!
*Jules* I'm up for the mass get together too! 
*Bexter * I know exactly what you mean about wanting to run away but can't afford it! We just have to make the most of the quality time we do have (says me who has got us painting and decorating ready for receiving guests for Christmas!). I can imagine *Jules* heckling at Panto too, lol! Good luck with your review tonight, I look forward to hearing all about it.
*Zana* your words are really wonderful and I can relate to everything you said. My faith has kept me going but unfortunately my DH has gone the other way and doesn't feel as close to God anymore because of a number of things we have gone through over the last 6 years and now this. I'm holding his hand through it and I'm hoping he will be strong for what's still to come.
*threebee* Glad you are still checking in on us. I hope your apt with dildo cam is ok today!
*Tricia* how are you today hun? Thanks so much for all of your support on here too and I look forward to having you by my side in the next cycle.
*poppy05*, all this talk of pom poms makes me think of a whole new version of the Calendar Girls! How are you feeling today? Excited about your lovely weekend I hope.
*2ForJoy* I hope you enjoyed your Fish & Chips, sometimes it just has to be done! I hope you feel in a better mood today- have some PMA bashing&#8230; 

*Becky, Theresa, Kazza, Macca, Mrs_F & GTCTTWW * How are you getting on? All good I hope.

AFM, Nothing new to report. DH is working night shift so I've asked him to check the post when he wakes about 3pm and let me know if there is any news from the hospital- if not- I'm on the phone!!!! Panto rehearsal was ok- we are very amateur and it's amazing how it does all come together at the end but early days are very rusty!
As for a meet up, I don't know how many of you can travel to the Midlands easily but there is a FREE Christmas food fair at Hatton Country World, CV35 8XA, J15 M40 This weekend and we are going on Sunday if anyone fancies it? You get to try lots of free samples and buy yummy food for the festive season. I was meeting up with a friend there but she can't make it but we are going anyway. There is a lovely tea room which we can meet in at 11.00, then go for a mooch and finish at the Hatton Arms county pub for a late Sunday lunch? There are some lovely little shops to buy gifts in if you are stuck for ideas, all in all, a good day out.
http://hattonworld.com/hatton-shopping-village-warwick/
let me know what you think.
Hugs as always, Kirstie 

/links


----------



## macca21

Lottie Thats great news congratulations    

Well ladies after a week of being really ill am starting to feel alittle better. I had my scan today and all is good  

xx


----------



## poppy05

lottie my lovely, massive congratulations to u both, im chuffed to bits for you, and when i say im always right, i meant it!!!!!!  
now go get yr bum bullets girl you're pregnant!!!!!

jules we missed you lastnight, i will try and pop in tonight, i have friends popping round bout 8.30, so will try and come in around 7.30 xx

kirstie im a lil bit jealous, i would so love to do panto, bet its such a laugh! 
hope you have your letter today, im getting the hump with your clinic so gawd knows how you must feel?!  

threebee good luck with your scan hunni  

bexter good luck with your review babes  

tricia hope you're feeling ok today babe  

zana lovely words darling  


Well thats it lovelies, we are all done! 
well done to each of us for getting through this stressful time, massive congratulations to all who have achieved their dreams, and big hugs to those of us yet to get there   2015 will be our year girls
its been an absolute pleasure cycling with you ladies, and i cant wait for the next chapter in the walnut whippers journey!
love my girlies group hugs    

AFM, totes emosh today girls!!!   
i cant believe im going away tomorrow! im really looking forward to it, and mother nature has actually been nice to me for once, ive stopped bleeding!!! woo hoo sexy time!!!   haha sorry but its been a while!
im still in bed, what a lazy moo!, i need to get up and pack! 

im feeling good today girls, i feel now everything is over i can move on, gonna have a lovely weekend, back to work next thurs, then my review following week, then im gonna put christmas decs up!! and look forward to my fet in the new year, my babies are in that freezer!!  

catch you later ladies xxx


----------



## lambklly2

Hi ladies I just wanted to pop on and say a huge congratulations to all you lovely ladies with a bfp. Well done and I hope you enjoy every min   xxx

I am so sorry to hear of the bfn's too and baby's gone too soon. My heart goes out to you all and wish you all the luck in the world for the future whatever you decide to do     xxx


----------



## jules418

Hi Lambklly2 - lovely to see you , how are you and any news on your ET? Is it going ahead this month? 

Poppy - you definitely sound alot more positive today I can feel that you have really turned a corner    
Hope to speak with you later xxx

Well done Macca  

Kirstie - looking forward to Sat I shall be rehearsing my panto hackles lol I would love to come sunday but have MIL over and going a a nice dog walk by us. then home to slow cooked brisket of beef mmmmmmmmm, 

Bexter... you have a to have a tree get another little one £1land  Hope you get some answers to night xxx

Right I am going home feel rubbish and want to go to sleep. 

Jxxxx


----------



## BeckyA

Eeek *lottie*, what fabulous news to finish off with! Many congrats!

Great news on your scan too *macca*

It's all a bit emotional today, eh ladies? Just to add my thoughts, i would like to thanks each and every one of you for your support and kind comments and pma and stories on the chat about accupuncture, walnut whips and  
Love you gals!


X


----------



## threebee

*Zana* - Such amazing words, thank you for such a poignant and beautiful post.

*Kirstie* - That Christmas food fair sounds lovely! I'm nowhere nearby but I hope if meet up with any FF ladies that you have a lovely time! 

*Macca* - Great to hear all is good with your scan!

*Poppy05* - Have a lovely weekend!! Hope we all stay in touch!!

*Jules* -   Hugs for feeling rubbish

BeckyA -   

AFM - So just wanted to update quickly with my scan... all is well...and.......it's TWINS!!! It's still sinking in to be honest, what an amazing blessing.


----------



## Bexter83

Kirstie I would had love to come up and see you and it sounds magical, unfortunately I am going back to work, don't know if I'm happy to or not but hey ho! And I also have an interview on sat am. Oh I got another interview lined up for a tuesday. Wish me luck girls. I've been doing my homework this morning on it.....eeek. 
Def think a mass meet up would be fab! 

Poppy you must be so excited about your weekend away. Glad your feeling more positive today.


----------



## poppy05

omg threebee!!!!!!! you got a bogof!!!   huge congrats my lovely, thats wonderful news xxx


----------



## Lottie1802

Just a quick one will hopefully catchup properly later, i just wanted to say a big thank you for all the lovely messages today, i still dont really believe it lol.

And congrats threebee!!! Amazing news x


----------



## K.Notman

Yay *Threebee*! Congratulations... and good luck!!

*Bexter*, good luck with all the interview prep and I hope fate gives you a good hand and you get the one that's best for you.

*Jules*, sorry to hear you are feeling rubbish- get that hot chocolate and blanket out! your slow cooked beef brisket sounds ummmmmm (Homer Simpson style drawl!)

*lambklly2* Thank you for your kind thoughts. Your signature looks like you've been through a long journey too. Good luck for your upcoming treatment.

*Macca*, glad your scan went well. Another day towards your special bundle xxx

AFM- update... Our NEW review appointment letter came today, we are meeting our consultant on Monday 8th Dec (so a lot better than 12th January! Still no letter about the medication I should be on now so it's just as well that I've continued on a course of estrogen I had left over! I phoned to chase the letter about that and got their answer machine again, so I left another message, phfft!


----------



## lambklly2

Hi jules yes I have another scan Thurs then hopefully if all well I will have transfer the following week ☺ hope your feeling better tonight xx
Thank u k.notman, I'm glad your app is sooner now rather than later xx
three bee wow congratulations xx


----------



## Bexter83

Hi *Lambklly*, nice to meet you (kind if p, you know what I mean ). Wow your signature sounds amazing, felt emotional just reading it. I really wish you the best this cycle. I hope your ET goes well, not long now!

Yay *Kirstie* glad you got your appointment through and that's a much better date. Sounds like a good idea to carry on with your meds until you can reach them. They are a nightmare, I feel your pain Hun!

Ha ha *Jules*, I'm def going to get a mini tree this year, you can't have Christmas without a tree, it's just wrong! How you feeling now? Hope your feeling better after you went home.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Good luck with your scans ladies too and *Kazza* I hope those pessaries are getting better and the sickness is easing off.

Sorry for the lack of personals.

AFM I have not long got back home from my review. I was really tired as been waking around 5am in the mornings to take the DH to the station and had a nightmare journey today to get him to go the clinic, so I went on my own but all was fine. I had my list of questions and I feel so good now, like I can let go of the past and move on. I feel free and excited that a plan has been made and I can now enjoy the in between period. 
Great news is that in fact my eggs were fine, the embies were 8 cell on day 3. He was disappointed with up the number of eggs retrieved and gave me various factors which may have caused this. I was on a high dosage for my age & AMH on menopur, so not staying on that protocol and just increasing that. So what we're doing next cycle is no down regging (buserelin), will be on Cetriotide. Double shot (higher dosage) of the trigger shot. There was a concern as to why I had 2 good embies which didn't implant? I may have an immune issue. So I will go on steroid tablets around ET, to help this. I will also have the scratch done prior to stimming, to help this. 
Who knows if this will get he mire eggs? Or make them stick but I'm going to give it a go and they are getting a dusty plan sorted, so I will start my cycle in January. Will I be cycling with anyone from here? I hope so xxxx


----------



## lambklly2

Hi bexter and thank you  
I am so happy that your consultation went well and that you feel happy with the outcome. It sounds like next time will be better for you. It really does make you feel excited and more content when you know where you stand for future tx. I don't know about you but I hate the not knowing and am so impatient lol xxx


----------



## Bexter83

Definitely! That's exactly how I feel xxx


----------



## poppy05

Im so pleased your review went so well bexter, it must feel so good to have a plan, and know you will be on your way again in just a few weeks   i hope to do my fet in feb, so altho we wont necessarily be cycling together, we will be quite close, and you never know we may even share our 2ww's or at least part of them   


lambklly, hello my lovely, long time no see    really hope you can have transfer hun, i bet it feels like you have been waiting ages for it? not seen you in the chatroom for a bit, come and say hi sometime   


jules im sorry i didnt make chat, my friend came round early, then dw got in late cos of traffic, so we ended up getting pizza for tea, its 10pm and ive just eaten! i can see me feeling quite sick when i go to bed, hope you are feeling better this evening babe   


kirstie im glad you finally got your new appointment through, it always feels like your in limbo when you are waiting for your follow up, hopefully once you have been you will feel better and raring to go for round 2 in the new year   


Well girls im all packed!! well apart from make up and hair stuff   
the weather for the weekend is forecast to be atrocious!! do i care? do i     
i cant wait to hit the shops, and looking forward to slurping cocktails!! watch out for a new profile pic!!   
i have no idea why, but i feel so much better today, i know i said it earlier, but i really do feel ok about everything, i said to dw tonight, i think because i mc really quick ive been able to get over it fairly quickly, i wasnt pg long enough to get used to being pg, if that makes sense? of course im gutted, and i cant believe its happened to me again, but everything happens for a reason, and my babies are in that freezer!!
we said tonight we aren't going to spend our weekend away talking about whats happened, i want to just laugh and have fun, dw hates shopping so its going to be hilarious dragging her in and out of all the shops!!    


Right i better finish sorting my bits out
have a great weekend girls, im sure i'll log in while im away to keep my eye on you all   
take care lots of love you all


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## Kazza79

Hi ladies

Sorry I didn't come on earlier 

Lottie- congratulations hun     I'm really pleased for you hun  

Bexter- hi hun thanks  I'm feeling ok still really bloated and uncomftable, still have 2 weeks to wait for the scan just hope it goes fast lol hope your are ok hun I feel like I'm out of touch with everyone   xxxx


----------



## lambklly2

Hi poppy hope you enjoy your time away, I will def pop into chat soon xx


----------



## lambklly2

I forgot to say my recipient from this cycle got a bfp, I'm over the moon for them. If this fet does not work I may do egg share one last time but if it does I'm happy that I've made 4 couples happy xx


----------



## tricia1012

Hi ladies 

Sorry I was quiet today I've had a stressful day  and I've been having little cramps all day so just been resting I think it's normal pains fc ! 

Poppy - I hope you and dw have an amazing weekend !! Enjoy the shopping and cocktails  can't wait to hear about it all , I'm glad your feeling much better . Not long and you'll be popping those frosties out !! Exciting  xx

Lottie - has it sunk in yet?  so happy for you !! Now you can have a lovely weekend in bath celebrating!! X

Bexter - I'm so glad your follow up went well , I did the scratch and am on steroids as as well  they all help with implantation !! You should ask for the embryo glue to hun , May as well do as much as poss  xx

Lambklly- lovely to hear from you again. !  what an amazing thing you've done for that couple   , hope your fet gives you your bfp   Xx

Kirstie - yay!! Finally I'm so glad they have sorted your appt for you  xx

Kazza - how are you Hun? Xx

Jules - I hope your feeling better now xx

Macca - I'm so glad your scan went well and your feeling better  xx

Hi to everyone else  

This is the first night I'm awake past ten !! Lol I've been such a granny , my family leave on sat  and then back to work on Monday  !! I've been so lazy lately it's going to kill me lol . Hope you've all had a good day , catch up tomorrow xx


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## Zana37

Good morning girls.

Finally is Friday. Before the weekend arrives I have a lot to clean in the house. This year we decided to decorate for Christmas earlier, so we will start already this weekend. As for the Christmas tree, only by the second week of December.

*Bexter* dear, I believe we will be cycle companions in January. My review is on the 25/11, then I have a first meeting with a clinic on the 02/12. If we like them we will make our treatment with them. If not, we have a second meeting with another clinic on the 12/12. They have no waiting list after the first meeting, so it is great. Let's see.

*Poppy * are you ready for your weekend? Really try to enjoy at full! 

*Kristie* I am aslo going to a little Christmas market this Saturday. They are inside of a farm where we are going to buy a big turkey for Thanksgiving! So it will be great to already check for some Christmas things!

I have been feeling great and will soon start baking some cakes. Will also be doing some dummies for my soon to come homepage 
This will be a good day! I have decided 

Great day to you all!


----------



## Bexter83

Morning ladies,

First day back at work for me! Eeek! I hope I get one of these new jobs, I don't like working weekends too. Feeling ok now but I feel so content at the moment with the DH around and typical that I'm working on the days he has off. Ah well, all money for the baby pot ). I tell you these babies are young to have a lot of chores when they grow up, paying all this money back, lol. I was even thinking it were wrong to give them the gift of life for their birthdays & Christmases every year! Hehe

*Poppy*! Yay your road trip starts today, whoop whoop!! Have an absolutely fantastic time I'm so happy for you that your feeling so much better now also. Ha ha and good news on the AF finishing, sexy time&#128540! Xxx

*Kazza* I know what you mean, I think we're all a bit emosh because all of us have kinda finished our cycle and we've all held each other's hands through this journey and suddenly we don't know what to do. I think we should all meet up, that would be fantastic! Sorry your feeling bloated, it's the hormones, I know it's uncomfortable. Roll on these couple of weeks for you and stay in touch. 

*Tricia* keep up with the progesterone til the first trimester. I'm sure it's not your AF coming, your babies are just getting comfy . The lister don't do the glue. I asked the consultant at the satellite clinic last night and he said they won't do it. There's really mixed views on it but hopefully the scratch and the steroids will help massively.

*Zana* that's good progress Hun! Do let me know how your appointments go. Make sure you have all your questions answered, so you can see if you like them and compare also. Yay we could be cycle buddies in Jan . 
I'm so jealous! Really want to get in the festive spirit now, although the soundtrack to the John Lewis advert is already starting to do my head in! But I think I may go up the park and put some tinsel around one of the stags, just to get into the spirit of things!

Have a good day everyone. Xxx


----------



## K.Notman

Just a quick one from me as I'm as busy as ever.
*Bexter,* really glad you got positive feedback from you review. It all sounds very promising for next time. I really hope mine is as positive!
*Zana,* enjoy your Christmas Market and festivity preperations! 
*lambklly2*, it really is amazing to hear the successes of your egg sharers. I'm praying that this time it's your turn.
*Poppy*, have a really wonderful weekend of you being YOU, happy and carefree! Speak next week.

Have a great weekend all xxx


----------



## Kazza79

Hi everyone 

Threebee- twins omg that's 2 now , I wonder if we all end up with twins lol congratulations hun it's great news xxxx

Bexter-  I really pleased your review went well hun it sounds like they know what to change so you get your BFP next time round hunny   fingers and toes crossed all round for you Hun and we will all be here to help you through like you have helped all of us    and all meeting up would be lovely hun where is our Middle ground on location? Xxx

Tricia- Im great thanks Hun how are you feeling X

Hello to everyone else and hope everyone is enjoying their Friday    xxx

AFM- still ticking along lol taking the kids to watch the bluewater Christmas light being switched on tonight I wonder who will be doing it this year maybe a X factor reject lol xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Kazza - hi Hun I'm feeling good today thanks back to work on Monday though  how did three weeks off go so quickly!! Have fun with the kids tonight  

Poppy and Lottie - I'm jealous of your weekends away hope your both having a great time ! Xx

Hope everyone else is ok and going to have a good weekend xx


----------



## Kazza79

Tricia- it is horrible going back to work but I also found it grounded me again as my life seemed weird when I was off, I think I needed to get back to reality if you know what I mean lol make the most of your weekend then hunny   xxx


----------



## Bexter83

Hi ladies


Hope your all well  .


Kazza, am not too sure where a central point would be for all of us! probably Central London? I'm only an hour away from there. Hopefully we'll be able to get together sometime, that would be nice.


Good luck back at work Tricia, I'm sure you'll be fine after the first day. My first day was yesterday, was strange at first but ok after that, back in tomorrow.....rubbish!  


Kirstie hope your doing well. Can't wait to hear about your review too. I feel relieved that my egg quality wasn't as bad as the lister made out. Now they wonder if I have an immune issue, as to why they didn't implant? Anyways, feeling better that there is another way to possibly improve any issues. You've got to be in it to win it! 


Xxxx


----------



## tricia1012

Bexter - hi Hun yea I'm sure I will be fine after the first day back I've just got lazy being off so long . There's a book by Dr Alan beer it's all about immunes and implantation issues I bought it a while back it's full of good info that helped me figure out what I needed to ask docs for . His clinic in Chicago  is where they send all the bloodwork for immunes tests from the uk so he must be good . If you want pm me and I can post it off to you if you want a read xx

Hi to everyone else were all very quiet this weekend I'm so sleepy just got back from the airport dropped my family off  it's going to be so quiet around the house now but at least I will get time to sleep as much as I want and watch christmas movies  home alone is on in a min  

Hope your all having a lovely weekend xx


----------



## Kazza79

Hi everyone 

Bexter- sound good hun I'm about 1 hr on the train into London too so sounds good to me.

Tricia- I'm totally with you today about being tired hun I never sleep in the day but slept in the sofa for ages earlier lol I feel really lazy lol I'm so tired it's madness. And I love home alone  

AFM- had a lovely sleep earlier and we have the real fire crackling away which is lovely now need to decide if we want to go out for dinner or eat in  I really don't know lol hope everyone is having a nice weekend xxxx


----------



## tricia1012

Evening ladies ,

Hope you've all been having a good weekend  I know it will go quiet on her now but don't forever our chats on wed nights !! 

Can't wait to hear about your weekend poppy hope youve had a lovely time  

Love and babydust to all xxx


----------



## Bexter83

Hey ladies,

*Tricia* thank you that's really lovely of you . I read up on him and is fascinating and now I understand why you were on intraplid too. I started scaring myself though by reading more info, more obstacles between me and a baby. In my review the consultant said it's a possibility I could have an immune issue but not going for lots of tests for it, he's just going to give me steroid tablets to take around ET (think for the 2ww and maybe longer if positive? Not 100% sure?). 
Awww don't be sad, like you said more peace and quiet......lovely! Hehe and the remote control will be all yours!  good luck tomorrow at work Hun .

*Kazza* yeah I reckon we should all meet up in London&#128515;, that would be fab!!

Xxxx


----------



## poppy05

Hi girlies im back  

Well you must of all had busy weekends as its been quiet on here, i know it wont be very busy now, but please dont all disappear  

We had a lovely weekend, it was lovely to look round the shops, and buy a few treats, friday night we went to my favourite italian for a meal, and that was lovely, we had a cheeky cocktail too!!  
then saturday we did some more shopping, and went out for a few drinks, i felt like i was ready to drink and go out for a boogie, we went to 3 bars, and on my 5th drink i was just starting to feel tipsy and i could feel tears pinging into my eyes, so i knew it was time to stop drinking, i said to dw, i cant drink anymore, or im just going to end up a crying mess, i was still able to control my feelings and i didnt want to lose control of that, getting drunk would of made me feel worse, and i would of had a hangover today, so we left the bar and went for a curry!   and i felt happy that i managed to realise i'd had enough, which is something im never capable of!!
im glad we went away, and we did have fun, but i still couldnt stop thinking of the reason why we went away   

feeling a bit depressed tonight, im back to work on thurs and i dont want to go, being at home for 6 weeks has made me realise just how much i hate my place of work, like dw says, just use them for the money, hopefully i will be pg again in a few weeks, then i can go on maternity for a year, and i dont plan on going back!!!! 

hope everyone is ok   
sorry for the me post xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Poppy - hi lovely we missed you while you were away   I'm glad you had a lovely time with your dw . Sorry your feeling a bit down Hun just keep thinking of your precious lil embies waiting for you !! It really won't be long coming around .

I'm the same with my work I've been there over 10 years now and  I'm just bored but you've got to do as your wife says and use them for there money I think nearly everyone doesn't really enjoy there work lol , you've got a plan and a goal to look forward to so just keep that in mind when your having hard days  

Well I'm in the train back to work today     I'm so lazy I just can't be bothered three weeks off has made me to used to being at home ! And I'm so scared of something happening or doing something wrong to harm my baby , I know it sounds silly but I'm just cautious of everything . I'm going to try and take it as easy as I can .

Lottie - hope your week at work isn't going to be to bad I know you've got a busy one ahead good luck xx

Bexter - I understand sometimes you can look into things to much ! Ivf turned me into a bit of a worrier so I went a bit ott lol . You sound like you've got everything in hand for your next cycle and I'm sure it will be a success  

Ladies don't be strangers on here us walnut whippers have to stick together  

Where / when are we going to meet up? ?


----------



## jules418

Hi walnut whippers

How are we all?? 
I am FULL of Cold boooooooooooooooooooo I am a big snotty mess with a very attractive cough. Not been on here since last week as just felt rubbish so I was on a bit of a downer I should have been a man I swear haa haa. 

I did however have a lovely (if not snot filled) weekend. Met up with Kirstie and Chixy on Sat which was lovely and we were just as chatty as on here haa haa. Yesterday had a lovely dog walk with MIL and some friends and came home toa nice roast chicken which i nommed....well you have to feed a cold don't you  

Poppy I am glad you had a lovely weekend and well done on knowing you had had your fill. I am terrible with that, I have even been dreaming of alcohol the last few nights haa haa. did you buy lots of nice christmas things? 

Tricia, how are you feeling hun? how was going back to work?

Bexter - I am glad your review went well and you had lots of questions which sounds like they were answered. 

Lottie, how are you ? 

Kirstie and Chixy - hope you had a lovely remainder of the weekend was fab meeting you both xxx

Kazza - oooo an open fire lovely, I must admit I do love this time of year for it's cosiness, iut has a certain elemen of romance about it or have i just read too many mills and boons haa haa. Hot choc and big fur rub with open fire and a bit of hot nook nook hee hee. 

Zana - how are things with you in Denmark, bet it is getting cold over there now. 

AFM - got scan on friday can't come soon enough hope I have got rid of jue flu by then (this is worse than man flu) hee hee. 

Jxxxxx


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## K.Notman

*Jules*, Yes Saturday was great, thanks. I hope you have a great week and I'll be thinking of you on Friday.
*Tricia*, I'm sure that being at work will be fine and you are not in any risk from affecting the pregnancy. You just have to get back to normal and into the routines. As you say, think of the money! I hope it's not too lonely without your family but you are all rested and looking after yourself.
*Poppy*, I'm glad you had a relaxing weekend- I love Italian too! The alcohol was always going to exaggerate any emotions so I'm glad you took control of it. It is sad and depressing for you to face going back to work especially when it's a negative cycle BUT you are having your review soon so you need to look to the future and getting back into the routines will help that come sooner! Put your effort into preparing for a great Christmas and then you'll be ready for your freezer baby in the new year.
*Bexter*, I'm going to ask about the Steroids too. It's good to know you will be trying new things to hopefully get the positive result next time. Have they given you any indication on dates yet or are they giving your body the chance to have a break for a bit?
*Kazza*, It sounds like you are nice and chilled, I love the idea of snuggling in front of a real fire! It sounds really cosy and I'm sure you get all festive when the decorations go up.

Hello to all the other Walnut Whippers!

AFM, I've had a great weekend made all the better for meeting up with Jules and Chixxy. We went to a lovely tea room for cream teas and talked for hours! It's so good to talk about things with people who know what you are going through and as we are all at Birmingham Women's Hosp we were able to swap stories etc (a lot happens in those waiting rooms!).
I'm now focused on my review on the 8th and have all my questions at the ready! I tried booking an appointment to officially start my next cycle and get all the admin out of the way but they won't do anything until after my consultation. I get the impression they are really going to advise me not to use my sisters eggs because of her low AMH but we did get 6 good eggs last time so I don't see why we can't do the same again (and sis is very keen to go again and again and again until we are successful- she is such a blessing). If they insist on us using unknown donor eggs, we will have to go on the waiting list which is between 18-24 months!!!!!!! Anyway, I'm not letting it bother me and that meeting will hopefully be positive. I'm going to be assertive as I know what I want. As for the letter about my medication, I had a copy of the letter that was sent to my GP saying he has to prescribe me HRT between cycles and it's nothing to do with fertility(all very political about who pays for the drugs grrrr). So I need to phone him when he gets in at 4pm to discuss what this is and make an appointment with him. In the mean-time, I've just been taking the oestrogen I had left over from the tx to keep a monthly regular cycle going.
So, life is ticking on smoothly: karate, panto, running the company whilst Dad is in India (hence fewer posts as it's v.busy). I hope everyone else is in good spirits and taking everything one day at a time.
Kirstie


----------



## Lottie1802

Hey Ladies

Poppy im glad you had a nice time and sounds like you are really in control of it all   it'll be rubbish being back at work but its a step closer to that fet!  

Trisha
Have fun at work not long now and you'll get a year off woohoo!!!

AFM  about to board a flight to budapest for work im petrified of flying!
Sickness has set in and feel quite crampy which makes me nervous but other than that we are counting down the days til 4th dec when we get to see whats happening in there


----------



## jules418

morning ladies

Oo lottie budapest very nice, I would love to go there looks so beautiful. Hope you were ok on the flight I am ok with flying so have no words of wisdom apart from take deep breaths usually iwould suggest booze lol but obv can't do that  

I had a bad night last night I was fine til about 10.30 and I went to put left over dinner (sausage casserole nom nom ) in a container for DH to take to work today, could I find a lid for the container. Well I then lost the plot as could fine a million lids apart from the one i needed and hardly any tubs. I pulled verything out of the cupboard and threw it all to the floor whilst having a rant about why thing srae not put back properly and how much tuperware costs etc. DH was tip toing around me not quite sure what has just happened the dogs thought i was mad atthem tails down and between their legs (DH too haa ha) I then went and sat on the sofa and broke down rockyy came over and gave me cuddles then mavis joined in. then it was like th emist was lifting. really weird. I had really bad tummy pains and I think I was stressing about MC as this is the same time it happened last time and I'm not going to lie I am S**ting myself it is going to happen again. 

anyway went to bed in pain had a cry and DH gave me a cuddle and went to sleep. still have some pains today but do feel bit brighter. just want it to be friday. 

Oh yeah then i this morning i go downstairs and he has forgotten to take his lunch lol 

Hope you are all ok and not weird crazy ladies like I am. 

Loads of luvs

Jules
xxx


----------



## K.Notman

Lottie, I hope the flight went well and that you have a good time in Budapest even if you are there for work:  A change is as good as a rest they say!  Take it easy though when you can.

Jules, Poor you (((hugs))).  I have those kind of tantrums when lots of silly things add up in a day and you have the last straw and 'boom' everyone knows about it!  Cuddles are always the best medicine though.  I hope the pains subside and it's nothing to worry about.  Think positive missus!  

How is everyone else?  I thought people were still checking in on this thread and saying hello- I think I just say a tumbleweed roll past!!!!!!!
I know it's back to normal for us now, work, family and the odd appointment but we are all still thinking about each other.

Have a good day folks


----------



## tricia1012

Hi ladies , 

Kirstie - it is very quiet on here !! I think it's because everyone is back at work  

Don't forget our chat night though ladies  we can't miss those .

Jules - hope your having a better day today allow the few wobblers it's all your hormones Hun xx

How is everyone else doing? Hope everyone is well . I've had a day off today to get my dose up of intralipids again so I'll be nice and tipsy for the eve lol 

Lottie - hope your flight went well Hun take it easy while your there xx

Love to all xxx


----------



## jules418

I shall hopefully be back on chat tomorrow I am in and FC my laptop works as it should otherwise will be on my moby and i don't like that i miss things and it kicks me out lol 

be good to have a catch up ... 

I feel a bit stroppy still to be honest I know it sounds bad as I am 36 but i really just want to have a full on 5 year old tantrum throw myself to the floor the whole works then eat icecream haa haa.....can I have ice cream now? or was that just on hold during 2ww? 

Tricia do you have the intralipids every day or weekly? how is your bum 

jxxx


----------



## tricia1012

Jules I feel the same in so stroppy!! In sure a ice  cream is fine treat yourself Hun . My butt is killing I've got huge lumps and bruises but I can't complain xx


----------



## K.Notman

Jules, I think it is hilarious that you ended a post with "how is your bum" ha ha ha ha ha ha


----------



## Kazza79

Hi everyone 

Jules- omg I know what you mean about strops hun lol my DP and kids are calling my a physco lol I'm sure that's not a good thing lol and even driving, I feel rage and want to kill everyone lol followed by hugs and bucket full of tears lol I can't keep up and can't snap out of the moods once in get in one, it's like going through pubity again   Lol 

Tricia- have a good drunk evening hun lol xxx

Kirstie- glad you are doing ok hun xxxx

Lottie- I hope the flight was ok Hun   Xxx

AFM- moody, tired and emotional is me all over at the moment lol it's a great combo   xxxx


----------



## jules418

hee hee kazza - I am soooo glad it is not just me going crazy you are right it is like pubity all over again

aww tricia poor you if it makes you feel better i have a lumpy bum and no injections lol 

kirstie - how are you getting on on your own? busy busy and it will be the 8th before you know it !!! 

hee hee not sure how to end this one. 

bum hugs everyone lol


----------



## Bexter83

Hey ladies,

Sorry it's been a while, have been thinking about you but been a little busy, back at work and interviews.

How are you all doing?

*Lottie*, have a good time in Budapest (even if for work) please pleas please don't carry heavy suitcases or anything, please be careful. Don't work too hard. When you get back and stuff, we must catch up, there's more tea and cakes we must try&#128540;. See if you can have ginger or camomile tea, it could help with sickness feeling.

*Jules*, you never fail to entertain us, honestly I think you could have your own reality TV show . I know you must be really scared at the moment, I would be too, it's natural you feel this way but just try your best to think positive, relax, do everything you can which will benefit you, worrying will do you no favours. I hope we can help put your mind at ease. .

*Kazza* hope your doing well. Wow sounds like a crazy house in your crib! Sending hugs .

*Kirstie* glad you had a lovely weekend, super jealous you got to meet up with Jules & Chixy, I hope Chixy is doing well. Not long til the 8th!! I really really hope you get all your a questions answered and that you can still use your sisters eggs again the future, as you don't want to be waiting that long for your next cycle. Your sister sounds amazing, what a wonderful and selfless thing she is doing. The Knotman family sound ace!

*Poppy* so glad you had a lovely break away, just what you needed. Don't feel funny about not enjoying alcohol, you still made the most of your break away by the sounds of it. It's still raw Hun, so emotions are still going to be running high. I think your babies are chilling out in the freezer Hun. I envy you,  I've got all that stimming to look forward too, eeeek!! I really hope your feeling ok. 
I do understand what you mean about the alcohol. We had our friend over on sat night and they were drinking, I was really struggling, I just couldn't drink. I suppose it's a good thing but whether it's the long time going without it and subconsciously feeling guilty if I do, that I physically don't want it. Weird really.

*Tricia* Hun, hope your keeping well and getting all festive with your Christmas movies. I'm so desperate to watch one now, that's when my Christmas starts. Your poor bum! Keep thinking baby wands! I think your having girls btw, don't know why? And Jules boys and Kazza boys or mixed. Don't know why, just a feeling. Did everyone double drop?  hehe 2 embies?

AFM I'm really feeling ok, officially think the drugs are out of my body, my boonies have disappeared  but been running and feel less hormonal. It's just mad how quickly time is flying. Got a a lot of decisions to make at the moment and things going on. All will work itself out. Will be getting my call on when I need to start the pill ready for next cycle which they are planning for jan. Can I just ask for peoples honest opinion if you feel this is too early to start again?

Thanks my angels . Missed you all too and hope your all keeping well.

Oh and please let's all meet up soon. Maybe we could go for an afternoon tea somewhere in town?

Xxxxx


----------



## jules418

Hiya, just a quickie (yeah right) from me off to fat club tonight. 

Bexter - I tell you that would be tres borning watching me haa haa i just hit f5 on this site all day haa haa haa ad moan about work although ithink a recording of my tantrum would have been funny to watch back haa haa. 

regarding your question. my honest answer is.......NO I don't think it is too soon. But it is how you feel that is important. I would be chomping at the bit like a wild horse being tamed to get the next go in. 

defo up for a meet up, i can get train to london or anywhere really the world is my oyster (well within the uk anyway) 
right off to fat club

Have fun ladies 

p.s. this is for tricia


----------



## tricia1012

Bexter - I think the same as Jules I would get stuck in straight away as long as you feel up to it xx

Jules - lol love the bum dance !! Have you got the bloat yet ive gained a spare tyre lol xx

It's easy for me to get into London let's sort something in chatroom tomorrow


----------



## poppy05

go for it bex!!! i'd have my fet tomorrow if i could  

jules you crack me up!! you are now officially renamed our resident 'tupperware batterer'!!!
sorry but i wet myself when i read dh left his lunch at home!!!  

tricia, do you know my bum is still bumb and lumpy, i inky had 5 jabs, so i really feel for you babe  

lottie i hope your trip was ok, i dont like the thought of tou doing all this travelling around in your condition!!! work is not no 1 priority now   hope you're feeling ok, enjoy every second if sickness!!  ;

kirstie how lovely you met jules and chixy, its nice to meet fellow ff's and have a proper chat about it all, at least going through this tough time it does bring new friends into your life, and hopefully we can arrange a big walnut whipper meet up  

hi to everyone else, hope you're all ok xx

AFM, not much to report here, feeling a bit meh tonight as tomorrow should have been my 7wk scan   but it wasnt meant to be so cant dwell
i have one more day off then back to reality, still dreading it, but thank god its christmas soon and i get a week off!!  

see you in chat tomorrow gang xx


----------



## Kazza79

Hi everyone

I defo like the sound of meeting up  

Bexter- I think if you feel ready it's the right time hun listen to your own body, plus they wouldn't offer it yet if it was to soon so chill out and go with the flow  Xxx 

Jules- your bum jokes crack me up lol   Xxx bum hugs lol 

Tricia- how are you feeling?  Xxx

Poppy- Im glad you had a lovely weekend hun I bet it was nice to just be with your DW   It won't be long and your frosties will be back in their mummy house where they belong  xxx

Hope everyone else Is ok xxxx


----------



## Kazza79

Bexter- it's funny you say twins with one of each for me as that's what my sister thinks lol xxx


----------



## jules418

sounds like a bum deal to me haa haa     shake shake shake, shake shake shake, shake your booty shake your booty.....

night all

gained 1 lb this week ooops. must do better or else will have arnie on my back.....

PUT THE COOKIE DOWN.....NOW!!!!!
You tube it - hilarious........


----------



## poppy05

Jules i read your post and now im singing this ' i see you baby, shakin that ass shakin that ass'!!!!!!!!    not happy with a new title, you now have a theme tune!!!!


----------



## Bexter83

Thanks ladies, really really appreciate that, I had doubts but you've double confirmed it.  . You ladies must join the chat room and stay on here when we're cycling , you know I'm going to need some    PMA Stick!


----------



## jules418

don't fear bexter I have a whole bag of PMA for you and poppy and all the cyclers, not sure kirstie will need them as she is PMA queen lol 

I am looking forward to the chat room tonight i have a feeling it will be a funny one. 

I have jessie J bang bnag going around my head today and it i has lifted my stroppy teenager mood right off  

Quite like the idea of a theme tune haa haa - a few years ago i went to india with work and they recorded a song from one of their movies and it went 

Juuuuulieeeeeeeee ahhhhh ahhhhhhhh I love youuuuuuuu ahhh ahhhhhhhh (imagine Bollywood singing stylee) hee hee hilarous I had that on my phone for ages. 

Right I am off on one now lol need some thing to calm me down.....

Jxxx


----------



## poppy05

Hi lovelies

Ive got the raving hump today, im dreading going back to work tomorrow!!!   it feels like the last day of summer holidays today and the thought of going back to school!!!  

Jules we def need some giggles tonight please, im not a happy bunny!!  

feeling a bit sad today, we should be celebrating seeing our babies heartbeat, not sat at home planning our final try!!   why is life so bloody unfair eh? 

on a brighter note, ive just eaten a massive cream cake!!   it was rather yummy 

bex and kirstie im really hoping we share our 2ww   either way we're in it together, and we will kidnap our walnut whippers and take them with us!!!  

right im off, gotta take the wife to dentist and her gran to chripodist!!! i feel like care in the community today!!!!  

see you tonight for bum fun!!!   (couldn't resist jules!!!)


----------



## jules418

oh how long DH has waited to hear that sentence haa haa haa

    Poppy sorry you are feeling down in the dumps today I shall try to cheer you up later and hopefullytricia will have a story or two to tell and bexter is always hilarious haa haa. 

mmmm cream cakes nom nom nom glad you have enjoyed it and why not hey  

Jxxx


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## Bexter83

Oh a *Poppy*, sending you hugs . Life is so unfair sometimes but all will be well soon, things will get better. Light will come out if these dark times, I promise you and your so strong and wise and such a good friend to people because of these life's challenges. God you know how annoying it is when you need advice or support and you realise just how daft and inexperienced in life a lot of people are or just don't seem to be able to help. Your a real asset to the World, always remember that.
Hmmm cake! Yumm. I think I've become a chocoholic .
Lol  care of the community! Bless you.
Love your idea! I think we should kidnapp the Walnut Whippers for Jans cycle, we'll get a master plan together a Pinky & the Brain style .....we're going to take over the World! Mwa ha haa!!!

Lol *Jules* no pressure then!  I'll pop in the chat room tonight but picking the DH from the station later tonight, don't know what time I'll be around. Can't wait til he's home though, have made a Malaysian Turkey meat curry, I'm dribbling just by the thought of it! 
So how have you been? Any more crazy antics . Thanks btw  Please invest in a large baseball bat as a PMA tool, one that can hit me through the iPad, preferably to knock me out before my daily jabs, so the DH can jab me whilst I'm unconscious. OMG this is such a good idea, why didn't I think of this before! 

*Kazza* how funny! Yeah mixed twins definitely! How's those pessaries treating you? Hope your feeling better.

*Tricia* sending you hugs for your jabs. Hope your doing ok with them.

I had been getting a few pains in my ovaries over the weekend and still now (not bad pain or anything, just a feeling/discomfort). By the time I cottoned onto it possibly being ovulation feelings, I think I've missed the boat . I stupidly forgot that I had those OPK sticks and used one this afternoon after a million pees today, so line was extremely faint, like hardly a line there. I'll do a test in the morning just to see if I was or not? I don't usually ovulate, so don't know if it is or not? I called the secretary at the clinic and she said I shouldn't be getting pains but if continues I'll have to have a scan.
Oh jeez and how is my luck!! So only now have I been invoiced for the blood tests the DH and I did at our GP's ages ago, already have the results. Thought I got away with that  or they actually found a heart somewhere in the deaths of their stone cold body and realising that all the ups which have been made by both hospitals on the NHS, which they can see on their little computer screen. Oh and after having to alternate each arm for my blood tests every couple of days at the clinic, the doctors had to call me in because the nurse put one of the blood tests in the wrong bottle. What a joke!


----------



## Kazza79

Hi everyone

Bexter- the pessories are still yuck lol I'm still very bloated and don't fit in my clothes, I just got a new lot from my gp so will find out if I need to carry on from my scan day next Thursday, I hope they say I can stop if it's all ok. 

I'm a bit worried tbh I did another test this morning it was a FR test and the line was really light  I would of thought but now it would always be a dark line? I haven't tested since my OTD day and wish I hadnt tbh as now I'm worried   xxx

Hope everyone is ok xxxx


----------



## jules418

Just a quickie I shall be on chat later

Bexter best time to do ov test is between 2 and 4 in the afternoon. Not sure why but diff to preg test.

Kazza don't worry about those sticks especially with you horrendous MS. 

Laters 

Xx


----------



## Bexter83

Oh gosh Kazza I really understand. It's the hormones which are making you feel this way. The water retention can be so bad but just try to remember that after 9 months it's all going to go back. The difference I feel and look now just from the hormones coming out of my body, it's incredible....these drugs and hormones have a v powerful effect. 
So your scan is next Thursday? Is there any way to have one now? 

Thanks Jules, I didn't know that . 

Love to all xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Ladies I'll be a little late into chatroom tonight I'm just fin work and I'm not feeling great so got an hour on the train home before I get in for a rest  

I know we usually chat for ages so I'm sure you'll be about of I pop on later xx


----------



## poppy05

girls im gonna be a bit late too, i have just stuck a colour on my hair, needed refreshing and i wanted to go back to work with good hair, no one has seen me red yet, so didnt want to go in with faded hair   , its due to come off at 7.30, so i need to get a shower and get it off, so i'll see you around 8


----------



## Chixy

Hello lovely ladies,

I am so sorry I have not been on for a while but I have had to stay away from Google for a while. We have had a terrible few weeks. After our 7 week scan things have spiraled out of control from bad to worst 😔. We were booked for another scan after the 7 week scan to be told things have changed but obviously still not looking like it should at 8 weeks - only measuring 2mm. Due to a change in a week we were booked in for another scan a week later. We went today to EPU to have a 3rd scan!!! Obviously we were told that it was no longer a viable pregnancy and so we have now been booked in for an operation to clear the pregnancy away. Sad times and so gutted that we were not third time lucky.

I apologise for the 'me' post but wanted to let you all know why I went quiet and what has happened. 

I hear congrats are in order for Tricia and Lottie - great news on you BFPs ladies. Kazza I hope all is well and poas doesn't mean anything bad hun. Take care

To all the rest of you lovely ladies thank you all for your support throughout this cycle and feel I have gained some great friends. A special thanks to Kirstie, Julie  
and Poppy.

Sending you all the usual baby dust


----------



## Bexter83

Chixy I'm so sorry, gosh I don't know what to say, I'm just so sorry. Sending you lots of love and will be praying for you to stay strong and to get through this. Xxxxxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Oh chixy my darling im so sorry   im broken hearted for you, i really really hoped and prayed things would be different    i understand what your going through sweetheart, and am here anytime you need a shoulder, please take time to grieve and get over this as best you can, we are all here to help you through the tough days ahead, im sending you lots of love and courage, please take care my lovely girl


----------



## BeckyA

So sorry to hear that *chixy*. Sending you many .
Take care.


----------



## Lottie1802

Chixy, that is so heart breaking , I am so sorry   no words will make you feel any better but if I can offer a few      
Thinking of you x x


----------



## Mrs_F

Oh chixy  how heartbreaking  I am so sorry to hear your sad news xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Chixy - I'm heartbroken for you I'm so sorry your having to go through this . Sending you massive   And just know that were all here for you xxx


----------



## Bexter83

Morning ladies, good chatting to you last night 

*Tricia* I had a thought last night about your bunged up problem and have you tried Lactolouse? It's mainly used for pregnant women as they can suffer with constipation, so this product is safe to use when pregnant. You can get from a chemist, it's in a large bottle. I got it after I had my tonsils removed almost 2 years ago and apparently I was supposed to be given this advice by the nurse in my after care, as I was on codeine & ibuprofen constantly for 2 weeks. Let's just say I learnt the hard way and thought I was giving birth out of my butt (tmi ), was actually a highly stressful 2 days for me but this product softens stools and keeps you regular.

*Poppy* hope your feeling better today. New hair, new you! Below are a few of the questions I asked in my review. Don't know if appropriate for you but might help? Also from learning in my review and there being a possibility of being an immune issue? Which is about your fighter cells killing off the sperm, causing embryos not to implant or miscarriage. You could ask about this? Would the use of steroids be a good preventative? Or would it be wise for you to have further tests to see if this is a problem?

Review Questions:

* Why do you feel this cycle was unsuccessful?

* Do you feel there are changes which could be made, which could greatly improve my chances next time?

* How was the sperm? Any issues? Any issues with the compatibility of the sperm and my eggs?

* When would you recommend starting the next cycle, giving myself the best possible chance next time?

Xxx


----------



## jules418

Chixy my lovely     know we are all here for you and will gladly hold you hand through til next time and beyond..... that also applies to all of you ladies
xxxxxx

Bexter your comments of 'i learnt the hard way' did make me giggle, 

Tricia - I use that fig one from chemist but can't for the life of me remember what it is called . Also try wearing a gold ring on your middle finger this should help free up your lower intestine and I also drink hot plain water. erm last one. press in to your tummy (not hard) but you will find areas of firmness rotate slowly on those areas and work around your tummy, this is massaging your intestines, again dont go madly hard on it but just so you can feel it. if you eat grapes stop. reason being when bunged up your body takes a long time to digest the skins and this can dehydrate you inside. Drink loads and loads of water and try not to have anything else (hot water is good tea/coffee replacemnet but you have to use your imagination) 

Poppy - hope your 1st day back at work goes well - not sure on what questions to aks I know kirstie posted a link on a previous whippers thread but not sure which one as we are sooo chatty. as to self help though, and I knwo I do go on about his BUT Dark green cooked veg, red meats preferrably organic (I didn't unless was on offer am skint lol) also I have read up alot about coconut oil. Very good for you all over. Lucybee is good from Sainsburys it is about £7 for a jar but last ages as you only use 1tsp per day. I usually put my kale and spinach in a mixing bowl plop a tsp of coconut oil  on the top then microwave for 3 mins, takes the bitterness off the kale so don't feel the need for gravy lol mmmm gravy. make sure you take time for you.

I know you know all of this but sometimes you can know it so much that you forget to actually do it lol now I am forgetting one.... oh yes your favorite WATER POLICE    hee hee Oh and PMA in abundance 

Lottie - how are you feeling after budapest? 

MrsF how are you and your MS? 


AFM - I still have this stinky cold and it is at that elasticy snotty stage so really gross haa haa sorry tmi apart from that feel good and I have tomorrow off so today is my friday wooo hooooo

love ya bums     

Jules
xxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Ewww gross! You poor thing *Jules*, rest up, follow your own advice (water & greens) and you should be fighting fit before you know it!

*Kirstie*, hope your keeping well.

*Zana*, how are you doing Hun?

Xxxx


----------



## K.Notman

Morning folks, what did I miss in chat last night? Any talk of meeting up? I think a London trip would be good but it's getting busy in my calendar now on the run up to Christmas.

*Bexter* Yes darling I'm fine, thanks for asking (see below). I'm glad to hear you are feeling normal after the hormones. It's a lot for our bodies and minds to cope with. Sounds like you had a rough deal with the bloods too, nightmare! I hope you are not feeling the pains anymore, hugs.
*jules*, So in the space of me updating, you've got a name, logo and theme tune, haven't we been productive! Lol. I hope the cold clears up soon, I hate that feeling when everything seems a struggle, especially when you can't taste your food (and I know this means a lot to you too!). Yes I am the queen of PMA but I know the next cycle will be harder; knowing it's our last NHS one so I may feel more desperate- we'll see. The constipation thing- you are thinking of 'Syrup of Figs'! I always remember Mum & Dad having some in the bathroom cupboard. I'm impressed with the amount of remedies you came up with and yes, I sniggered at Bexter "I learnt the hard way too"- reminds me of a joke&#8230; how does an accountant solve constipation?...He works it out with a pencil ha ha ha ha ha ha
*tricia *Have you had any joy with Nurse Jules advice? I guess it may take a bit of time.
*poppy *http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=261901.0 This was the link I shared although I'm sure you are already aware of this part of the forum. I really hope work today isn't as bad as you thought and that you soon get back to 'normal'. It's good to ease things in and you'll have the weekend soon. I bet you feel great with the new hair though!
*Chixy* As I said in my text yesterday, you need this time to heal and I hope you and DH have some quality time together to look after yourselves.
*Kazza* I don't know what to expect from the POAS at your stage but it must feel uncertain every day. It's best to try to keep busy and positive thinking that everything is as it should. If in doubt, contact the clinic. I'm praying that your scan on 27th is good and that this wait in between is not too much stress for you as we all know 'stress is bad!' Take some time to look after yourself with some 'me time'.

How are *Becky, Lottie, MrsF* and the other lurkers out there?

AFM, well running the company whilst Dad is in India is keeping me very busy but I'm rising to the challenge and actually getting on well with our foreman, as I was anxious that he'd be difficult to work with having the added workload too, but it's all good.
As for fertility, I'm playing telephone table tennis with my GP as we keep missing each other's calls to try and sort out my prescription (it's such a good job I'm still popping my own oestrogen pills otherwise I'd have gone nearly a month without by now!). Hopefully I'll get to speak to him this afternoon.
Anyway, last night I spent all evening in Intensive Care! (not at Panto rehearsal). My Dad's best friend (I've called him uncle since I could talk) had a serious heart attack last week and they chose to stop medical care on Monday. However, since then he showed signs of improvement so they have 'plugged him back in' and are monitoring him 24hr but he is heavily sedated so not sure how much he is conscious of. His daughter lives in LA and son in Poland so both have flown into the UK at the weekend and spending each day with him. I was there with his sister and wife last night to hold his hand and talk to him about all the daft things he used to do. It was emotional but what I feel more emotional about is that my Dad is half way around the world and can't be there for him. I've texted him the updates but this has all been such a shock and we all feel so helpless. My family don't get back until 27th and I'm just hoping that it's not too late. 

Well, I don't want to sign off on a sad note so I'll just remind everyone to think positive, look after yourselves and your loved ones and cherish every moment.
Kirst


----------



## Kazza79

Chixy- I'm so so sorry hun massive     Hugs hunny it's a heartbreaking time, make sure you look after yourself xxxxxx


----------



## tricia1012

Hello ladies ,

Thanks for all the advice and sorry I was boring in chart last night I had a really good sleep last night at last  so I'm feeling much better today .

I will pop on later  when I am in from work and do some personals , hope your all having a lovely day xx


----------



## poppy05

Hi lovelies


Oh kirstie im so sorry to hear about your uncle, how awful, you are such a diamond being there for him and his family, at least your dad knows you are there representing the family,   


tricia are you feeling better today my darling?   


jules, ive not sent your shoes yet, i need to get something to wrap,them in, will try and get them off this weekend though hun   


lottie im worried about you, you've been very quiet, i hope your not stressing out too much   im here if you need a chat babe 


bexter thankyou for the questions list, i hadnt even thought about asking about the sperm, i forget we needed that bit    although im sure there was no issue as we had amazing fertilisation, but its still a question to ask
are you feeling a bit more positive about starting in jan now?   


kazza try not to stress over pee sticks, they become the bain of your life, i read an article online a couple of weeks back when i was googling hcg's, i read that one woman was 36 weeks pg, her hcg was still showing as 2 and still not showing up on a pee stick!!!! how mad is that eh? i know its hard, but try not to worry, a positive is a positive, dont do any more tests   


chixy, just wanted to send you some more hugs sweetheart   


Hi to everyone else who still reads   




AFM ok are you ready?
im soooooooooooooooooooooooo angry       
do you know my boss didnt even ask me if i was ok today!!! i got nothing, she took me in staff room to do my back to work thing, which involved her writng my name date and ivf in a book, and me signing it!!!! she then said, 'i dont want to upset you but what happens now' so i burst into tears, all i wanted was for her to say she was sorry and ask how i was! is it really that painful?
anyway cut a long story short, i told her im doing fet in feb, i didnt give her the oppertunity to comment, i just said, im doing it, and thats that!!!
i then rang dw in tears, saying how much i hate it and dont want to work there anymore, but she calmed me down, if i leave im screwed, no money, and if i got a new job i cant tell them in 2 months oh im going for fertility tx, its not like i have a husband either so cant pretend ive fallen naturally!! 
and then if i do get pg i wont get maternity pay
so im using them for my wages, like i said before, and then im gonna take my full years maternity leave, (i always told boss i'd only want 3 months off, but screw her) i believe u have to go back for 2 months, or u have to,pay back yr mat pay? but then i'll leave, im not being treated like i mean nothing, im a good member of staff, and i think of everyone, i sort out all birthdays, and bits, and no ones done naff all for me, i told them today, im no longer putting in birthday collections, and if anyone dare asks me to put in for flowers for anyone they will likely get a thump!!!!!   
fuming is an understatement, i just hate that i cant just walk out, im not the sort of person to put up with crap, so im really struggling to remain calm
ive had a mc and not cried once, i go back to work and cry 3 times within the first 2 hours!!!!!!!


still i got 30 quid in tips today!!!! someone loves me    you dont know how much i wanted to,go and buy a packet of ****!!!! i didnt though and i wont, im not letting her make me smoke, but i could've smoked 60 all at once!!!!!   


well i guess i should go to bed, sorry for the moany post, but i feel better for it   


catch up tomorrow girls xxxx


----------



## tricia1012

Morning ladies , 

Poppy - I'm sorry you had such a crappy day at work , wow your boss sounds like a cow how can she not even ask you if your ok!!!! She deserves a good   I would happily do it .You rant away that's what were here for  

Keep thinking how you are though just use them for the money , I'm doing the same some bitter old women at my work has been slagging me off saying I've been lazy and taking to much time off that I should be fired !! Normally I would have it out with her but I just don't need the stress right now . So like you I'm going to keep my head down and just get on with things  I hope today's a better day for you   Xx

Jules - how are you? I hope that cold is easing off   Wrap up warm and take care of yourself and your little one xx

Kirstie -   I'm sorry to hear about your uncle I really hope he pulls through . Your a very strong lady being there for everyone just make sure your taking care of yourself aswell Hun were always here for a chat xx

Lottie - how are you? You've gone very quiet now I hope everything is ok Hun  Xx

Bexter - hello how are you? Have you decided that your feeling on to start again in jan ? Really won't be long coming around now  xx

Becky- how are you? Xx

Kazza - hi Hun? How are things going? Xx

Mrs f , Threebee , 2 for joy , Zana how are you all ? Xx

Chixy - how are you Hun , still sending you   Know that were all thinking about you xx

Afm - I'm so tired lately it's all just work and sleep so sorry I've been quiet on here . I really don't like going into work anymore but I have to stick it out we need the money  anyway it's Friday !!  the weekend is finally here I can't wait for a lie in . And then I only have a 4 day week next week thank god ! I've got my first scan it's all very quiet in my house me and hubby are still so scared but not long to wait till we find out if all is ok .

Hope you all have a good day today 

Love and babydust to all xx


----------



## K.Notman

Morning all and Happy Friday! Thank you for your support for my Uncle. He is stable for now but they really are taking things hour by hour.

*Tricia*, I hope you can use the weekend to re-charge your batteries and give yourself some 'me-time'. I am looking after myself but have to be strict with time management to get everything done and I'm looking forward to an unwind this weekend.
*Poppy*, I'm glad your DW is so supportive and helping you cope with the reality that we have to work to live. You are right to stop there to help you financially and I hope it gets easier as the weeks go on- well done on the tips, that's positive and you need to cling on top these little rays of hope. Have a good weekend love, it will continue to be a roller coaster of good and bad days but just take it one at a time and enjoy the preparations for Christmas.

AFM, I got to speak to my GP finally yesterday and he is still reluctant to prescribe anything until I've had my review meeting (so annoying) so I've just got to keep taking the oestrogen pills I have left over from the tx which I'll be due to have my 7 day break from tomorrow. I've no idea if AF will come without taking any progesterone; I had regular periods when just on the Microgynon pill without any progesterone so can't think how this will be different just being a higher dose? We'll see.
In other news, it was my students karate Grading last night and they all did really well and passed- some with 1st class passes. I was particularly chocked up about the little 5yr old I've been giving a lot of one-to-one instruction to and she'd written me a Thank You card and got me some chocolates and a mug. I nearly cried; she is so cute in her outfit and a pleasure to teach so I was beaming when I presented her with her Red belt. It was a very long night though and I've got Panto rehearsal tonight so I'm looking forward to the weekend. It's been a long week and it's going to be a busy weekend too. We are away for a school friend's wedding evening reception so have splashed out and booked a room at the hotel venue which will be convenient but also really nice. I'm looking forward to catching up with friends whilst we are in the area and taking some time out.

Have a good one folks.


----------



## BeckyA

Morning ladies! Hope you are all well, it's Friday. Yay! 

*poppy* and *tricia*, it really sucks when you don't enjoy work and your boss or worksmates aren't supportive. All these things are sent to try us. Keep thinking of the money and grit your teeth, hopefully soon you will be able to say bye for a while!!

*kirstie*, really sorry to hear about your uncle. Sending you thoughts. Have a lovely weekend away, you deserve it.

*kazza*, *jules*, *bexster*, *lottie*, *mrsf* and anyone else i have forgotten, hope you are all doing well.

AFM, the witch turned up this morning so I have rung the clinic. They now say it's too soon after the failed cycle to start stimming today (erm, yes! I knew this already! Why did you get my hopes up!!?)
But, I have an appointment on monday morning to get a baseline scan of ovaries and they should tell me when they think I can next cycle. I estimate it will be the second half of January as next period will be at xmas time. However, I can't book any flights to come back to the Uk at xmas until I know for sure. Arrggh!


----------



## Lottie1802

Hey ladies!!!

Sorry ive been so quiet i had two days in budapest and one day in london and a day in store so i havent had time to fart!

Poppy sorry to hear about your boss! All the more reason not to smoke , get those snow babies back and get a year off  

Kirstie i hope you are ok I bet you feel in limbo !!! Not long now x

Jules i hope your well? Have the cramps eased off? Ive had a few crampy days aswell its really un nerving !

AFM 1 week 6 days til my scan....not that im counting! I still dont think there is anything in there ! We cant celebrate until we know for sure , this bit is so long winded  i want to enjoy being pregnant like normal people! Anyway im not moaning i know im one of the lucky ones.


----------



## Bexter83

Evening ladies, happy Friday 

*Kirstie*, am really sorry to hear about your Uncle/family friend, I'm wishing a speedy recovery. Your so lovely, always there for everyone. Gosh I feel like going to the hospital and knocking some sense into these people! You know what, that has to be the best description (playing ping pong with your GP ), honestly I have been there, totally feel your pain! Really glad you know a lot about what you need and have enough prescription to keep you going until your review. 
Yay!! Fab news that your little karate dudes & dudettes have passed, well done all of you! Hope your Panto's coming together nicely. Man your life is interesting, always doing crazy stuff!

*Poppy* my love, I hope your ok. What a cow your boss is! Like you said, how hard is it to say sorry and to feel some compassion for what you've been through. You know what, as hard as it is, remember these times and moments like this, so it makes it so much easier to use them and get what you need out of it because when it's in your nature to be loyal, helpful etc, you need these moments to basically say  You!! Great tip, shows your good at what you do and another finger up at your boss, haha!!! Take some satisfaction in that you've had many challenges, put yourself through some v scary times and can still remain such a lovely person, where he or she is bitter and is probably very sad.

*Chixy* sending you lots of love and hugs   .

*Tricia*, sounds like a hectic week. I hope you can relax now it's the weekend. Hope you've got that Friday feeling! Take it easy and yay a 4 day week next week too, whoop whoop!! I'm ok thanks  feeling fine. I was telling Lottie that I want to enjoy December and Christmas but time is going so fast that I can already see myself going through the next cycle so soon! Which is good but scary too! Well always going to be better the sooner the better because it's still sooner til I get that baby or babies. Please god let it be this time! . I knew it wasn't going to work for me the first time and I feel I've learnt so much from it too, so hopefully I'll manage it better this time round.

Oh jeez *BeckyA* why are these doctors so annoying sometimes! Let us know how you get on on Monday. It sounds like there's going to a few of us being cycle buddies  in January. Yay!!

*Jules* how you feeling? Hope that cold is shifting!

*Kazza* hope your feeling ok. Step away from those pee sticks! When is your scan?

So there's a lovely lady at work but she has a nasty cold and honestly I'm trying to stay clear of anyone with bugs, I feel like I cannot afford to get sick, I need strong healthy eggs for Jan. Yay!! The DH and I are going to get a few of our Christmas decs we've stored at his parents house. I'm so sad but this is making me so happy . Xxx


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## Kazza79

Evening everyone

Bexter- hi hun, iv stayed well away from the pee sticks lol they just make me scared lol   I know what you mean about staying away from ill people do u find yourself holding your breath when they talk to you and covering your nose and mouth in a non obvious way even thou it's proberly really obvious lol   xxx my scan is on Thursday so still a little while to wait xxx

Lottie- I'm glad your trip went well and your back on solid ground lol and stop worrying about it not being there it will be and it will be waving at you hun   that's what I'm hoping for xxx

Becky- hi hun I'm glad you have the ball rolling to start your next cycle and at least starting in January all the stree of Christmas will be over and you can concentrate on you hun   Xxx

Kirsty- well done with your class of kids passing hun that's great I thought my life was busy but I think you beat me lol xxx

Tricia- God I know what you mean about work hun,  how I wish I won the lotto and could just chill out everyday   xxx

Poppy- God your boss needs a slap lol  maybe not in real life but to dream is good lol hope you are ok thou hun   Xxx

Jules- how are you doing today hun? Xxx

AFM- I'm officially a crazy person omg my temper is terrible, I wanted to pull someone's head off earlier as she opened her car door and smacked my car so hard it shook!!!!! I went mad   I mean proper crazy mad  I really flipped out at her I feel bad now but at the time all I saw was the red mist I'm never like it and it worried me after. I do love my car and have always been a massive car fernatic but omg what's happened to me I think I was more annoyed as she didn't even say sorry   Xxx


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## Bexter83

OMG Kazza! Yeah I do that!  I can't have a convo with them without thinking I've got to escape away from them too  . Cool, not long til your scan! 
God Kazza that's nothing, I'm like that at the best of times, ha ha! Don't worry about up Hun, hope no damage don't to your car. Xxx


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## Kazza79

Bexter-  glad I'm not alone there then lol and my other half said their is no damage on the car but I saw a black line   I will check it over again tomorrow and see, I took her name and number and took pics but my god I was fuming lol bad really I know it's only a car but I pwork hard for nice things and when people have no respect it really gets to me lol sorry I will stop ranting lol xxx


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## Chixy

Wanted to thank you all for your kind words and support during my sad time. It is lovely to know I have you guys to chat to and appreciate each and everyone of you for the support and much needed hugs.

Wishing you all a lovely weekend


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## Bexter83

We are all here for you *Chixy*. It's so heartbreaking and sad but we are here for you whenever you need us and sending you lots of hugs. I wish things were different so much, it makes me cry thinking about how cruel this is. Xxxx

*Kazza*, you every right to feel like that. Check your car in the daylight. It's good to know you've got her details if you need them. If not too much damage, bit of t cut might do the trick.


----------



## BeckyA

*jules*, did you have your scan today? Hope everything went well. Xx


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## Bexter83

Jules was your scan today? Are you ok? Xxxxx


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## jules418

Evening all,

Hope you are all having lovely weekends xx

Some sad news from our camp, unfortunately I miscarried on Thursday night Friday morning.
As you know scan was booked for Friday and that did confirm that there was nothing there. 
Obviously we are in shock and a bit numb, confused etc.
I wish you all well on your journeys but don't worry i will still be around cheering you all on.

Got follow up on Friday then review on 11th Dec. 

Speak soon you lovely lot 
Jules xxx
P.s. One for the road cos you have to keep smiling


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## Mrs_F

My lovely cycle twin, how heartbreaking. I am so sorry to hear this has happened. 

Sending you love and hugs and a gentle bum wiggle to help make you smile in the midst of all this sadness.


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## Bexter83

Jules I'm heartbroken for you. I've been worrying about you since Thursday night. I'm so so sorry. This is so   Unfair!!! Hunny am sending you all the hugs in the World and you know that we are all here for you. If there's anything we can do, you know where we are. Not long til you review to get some answers and a new plan. After learning about immune issues it explained to me why women miscarry. I think asking about this in your review can give you some answers, maybe some tests to see if this is a problem and can make a new plan. Hunny I feel so sad, I consider you as a friend and your so amazing to all of us, this really pains me. I know this is god awful but your a strong woman who will get through this and will reach your dream, I just know it! Lots of love xxx


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## threebee

Jules, I'm awfully sad to hear this. I'm so sorry. Words are just not enough... you have had the most amazing attitude and humour throughout this whole process. Hope you and DH can find strength from each other, and as Bexter says perhaps the review and further tests might shed some light on why this happened. Sending huge hugs to you lovely


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## Kazza79

Jules- I'm so sorry hun I was so worried as you hadn't been back on here, I feel really heartbroken for you hun and you DH, make sure you have all your questions ready for your review   
Now take some time to get through this together and we will always be here when you need us, and defo here for you when you next cycle   We will give you loads of bum hugs lol xxxxx


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## tricia1012

Oh Jules  I knew something was up when you never posted after your scan , I'm so sorry Hun , you don't deserve to go through this , sending you the biggest   And were always here for you , your a very brave strong lady you have a great attitude towards everything you will get through this   . You and hubby take care of yourselves now but whenever you need a chat well be here xx


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## BeckyA

Oh *jules*, so sorry to hear that. I am gutted for you. You don't deserve it. Sending you lots of  
Take care of yourself and DH.


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## macca21

Oh jules am so sorry to hear that hun, sending you lots of      you and hubby take care of each other. Thinking of you xxx


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## poppy05

Jules my lovely girl, i know we've spoken but i wanted to post here too, ive been thinking of you loads, you dont deserve this, and im just so so sorry for you both, really hope you get some answers on friday   here for you when you need a chat babes xxxx

OMG its my follow up tomorrow!!! not sure how i feel tbh? i just want a bloody baby!!!!  

Hi everyone, i'll be back later to catch up, but sending my love and hope your all having nice weekends xxxx


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## jules418

hi all,
thank you for your kind words, it is   today has been a weird day emotional rollercoaster lots of tears , cuddles with dh and dogs, lots of crappy food and fresh air waling the dogs. 

We are definitley going again in the new year just need to sort out everything and decide if staying at Birmingham womens. 
Feel numb and bitter but still have my sense of humor although a little dryer than normal. 

Went out for the day yesterday and shared a bottle of red (wasn't as nice as i remember) have mussels and some pate (not allat the same time) 

we are joining local gym on tuesday (payday) and I can't wait hello burpies I have missed you lol 

 bumtastic times ........ what dont kill us and all that b ks

dont want to goto work tomorrow i HATE myjob not sure it is right time to be looking for new on either..... man i was so looking forwardto 12 months of starting july 1st FML!!!!!!!

love to all 

Jxxxxx


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## Kazza79

Jules- I'm pleased your sense of humour hasn't gone hun and like I said before I'm really so sorry, you are going to be a fab funny great mummy so enjoy some time for you are DH and get back on that band wagon hun 
Enjoys the gym hun and get that butt moving lol    Lol 

I hope works ok hun and you have every excuse to slap someone for peeing you off lol use it wisely hun lol xxxx


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## Bexter83

Oh *Jules* I know, it must be but it's great that you and the hubby and your fury friends have had lots of cuddles and finding ways to be strong for each other to get through this difficult time. It's lovely to know that you have a lovely relationship with the DH and you'll get through this. 
The first week especially for me, I scared myself because I felt I was slipping into depression but it got easier, the drugs come out of your body, having answers and a new plan from review was the moment I felt at ease. I know that you'll start to feel more ok every day and you will find happiness in all the things you dud before soon enough.

Good plan Hun, find a place you feel comfortable and confident with and then book it all in, so you can feel free from this feeling and start to be able to enjoy the time in between your next cycle.

Fab news about the gym, enjoy your training &#128692;&#128170;.

And that's the spirit Jules&#128077;, what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger and possibly was to strangle others .

Keep thinking your job us there to fund all this and you'll be on your ML soon, I know it!

Keep your chin and bum up  . We'll all be here for you and you will get through this.

Much love Hun, sending you hugs today   .

Xxx

How is everyone else?

How are you Chixy?

Hope everyone is ok


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## K.Notman

Afternoon all.  I hope everyone is well and that the sudden drop in temperature didn't cause too much trouble this morning!  I thought my car doors were frozen but it turned out I had knocked the 'lock' on the key fob, LMAO!

Sorry I've not been about- I've had a fantastic weekend away for a friend's wedding up in Lincoln.  We treated ourselves to book a room in the hotel venue and it was amazing!  We used to live up there so used the opportunity to catch up with lots of friends, one of whom has a 6 week old baby so I had a little cuddle.  I also caught up with a school friend who had her IVF baby (second time lucky) 5 years ago.  They are trying for another but she has just had another failed cycle due to OHSS (22 eggs collected!).  It gives me hope that she has a beautiful daughter though.

I've got one week left with my family on their India trip and me running the business. It's been busy but enjoyable.  I can't wait to hear all about it even though I'm going to be very envious. My Dad's friend has been moved from Intensive Care to High Dependency Unit as his stats and breathing have stabalised.  This is all very positive and he is opening his eyes a little when people talk to him.  So Dad should get to see him as soon as he gets back which I'm thankful for.

Still 2 more weeks to wait before my review, time for DH GP to sort themselves out getting all his results together I hope.  My GP has told me just to keep taking the tablets I have left as he wont prescribe anything HRT until after the review. I feel really fobbed off but at least I have something.  I should be due AF this week but I've not had this dose of estrogen before and I've had no Provera (normally brings on the bleed) so don't know what to expect?

I need to get focused on Christmas now as I've not given it much thought yet- I've bought a table runner and napkins!  As much as time is dragging between appointments, it's flying as far as having time to do things to get ready for hosting Christmas (and learning lines for Panto!).

I hope everyone is well and looking after themselves (and precious loads!).

Kirstie


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## poppy05

Evening lovelies


Hope you are all well? its so weird not having 5 pages a day to read!! its so quiet here now, im missing our gang   


Kirstie its good to hear your uncle is stable, be lovely for your dad to come home and go and visit him, lets hope he continues this way   
glad you had a nice weekend at the wedding, and im proud of you for being strong visiting babies etc, we have all done it and its not easy, you have a similar attitude to me as in taking the positives out of a situation, its lovely you have a friend who has conceived through ivf, it def does give hope   


Jules i hope you are doing ok my lovley, sending hugs   


chixy more hugs for you too sweetheart   


tricia roll on fri eh hun    i do think you have 2 in there !!   


lottie i cant wait for you to have your scan, i want you to enjoy this   


bexter, any more news on starting in jan?   


AFM well i had my follow up today, and it went well, so we discussed absolutely every option, test, drug the lot!
so to cut it short, my consultant agrees with me, and feels that its more than likely my progesterone  issues which have caused the mc's, however i said fet is our last go and i need to have the relevant tests as i cant afford to mc again, so we have agreed im going to have the NK cells test, and some clotting tests, i have had those and all was ok, she doesnt think i have immune issues but agrees i should be tested to rule it out, im going to be doing a natural fet as my cycles are regular, so dont need hrt
i am having gestone, cyclogest and progynova from the start, and she said she will probably give me prednisalone and asprin, as it wont harm me even if my tests come back clear, she went through, ivig, intralapids, and steroids with me and explained i would be on some or all all of these if any issues did arise, but was doubtful
she recommended the scratch too, and i know a few of you have had this, but as a personal opinion, i dont actually agree with the scratch so i will be refusing this, its not something i feel i need anyway
so the plan is, to go for the tests in jan, and hopefully fet in feb, she said theres no reason why it wont work next time, we just need to get everything right, i feel alot better now, i feel,positive, and i can close the door and move on from this cycle now
so roll on feb my little olaf and elsa are waiting for their mummy in the freezer!!!!   


catch up soon girls, chat night wed dont forget


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## tricia1012

Morning ladies , 

I think I saw some tumbleweed on our thread lol , I miss our gang to ! 

Hope your all well  

Kirstie - I'm so glad you had a lovely weekend much deserved  sounds like you have a lovely christmas planned aswell good for you ! Christmas is the best time of the year  xx

Poppy - I'm so happy your review went well sounds like there looking into everything so you'll have the best chance and it will work PMA hun ! Xx

Lottie - my lil cycle buddy I know we've both been struggling lately , but you know I've had a good feeling for you from the start and I've not been wrong yet  just over a week and you get to see your babies  we'll try and keep eachother sane ! Xx

Bexter - how are you? What have you been up to since? Xx

Jules and Chixy - hope your both taking it easy and taking care of yourselves thinking of you always xx

Kazza - how are you Hun? You've got your scan this week aswell haven't you? Xx

Becky - how are you? Xx

2 for joy , mrs f , Zana , Threebee , Macca hope your all doing well thinking of you to  

Afm - so it's the big day tomorrow !! Scan day to say I'm terrified is an understatement lol I'm an emotional wreck  every cramp I get has me so worried just hoping everything's ok . Hubby is positive as always which I guess is good keeping up the PMA ! 

Looking forward to our chat tomorrow night I'm off work do I'll def be there won't be tired like last week . Have a good day everyone  don't be strangers on here not long and well supporting some of you again through your cycles  

Love and babydust to all xx


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies,

Another hug for you *Jules* this am . Hope work wasn't too bad yesterday.

*Chixy*  sending hugs, hope your doing ok Hun.

Sorry for lack of personals sometimes, can't always keep up but thinking of you all.


*Kirstie* really glad your Uncle is doing well and he's improving. Not long now til your dad is back to see him. Well done you though for stepping in and being a superstar though! 
Glad you had a fab weekend and you guys treated yourself to staying over in the hotel. Lovely to get away and it's so needed and appreciated after tough times like these. Great that you were able to enjoy your friends company with babies there etc. you know you've turned a corner when that happens. The first week or two I just couldn't bare it! And my sister was being so lovely, wanting to see me to help but I couldn't do it, I felt so selfish and out of order but it wasn't going to make me feel good and I needed every pick me up to get out of dipping into v low and dark feelings but now I'm so glad I can manage seeing babies now, I shopped and customised a baby toy for my nephews 1st birthday present. I find young children ok but tbh I still struggle a little with v young babies and pregnant bumps. I just wish it were me that's all. 
Sounds like your on top with the medical stuff, good on you for chasing them up and doing everything you can. Not long now until your review and I'm just praying that you can start next cycle ASAP, I think you will, your quite a force so am pretty sure you won't be fobbed off. Do you have lots of questions you feel need answering in your review? Or is it more about when your can start your next cycle? 
Tell me about it about how fast time is flying!! I don't even know what the DH and I are doing or going for Christmas? 

Hey *Pops* wow you had a very productive review, well done Hun. Am so happy you feel much better after it now. Honestly that's what sealed the deal with me too. I think the feeling of hope for the next new and improved protocol (adapting to your needs) really helps you to be able to close the door on the negative and hopeless feelings from your last cycle but giving the lessons you learnt and the information for the specialists to use to get you on the right track. Lol, I love your little snow babies are from Frozen , so appropriate, I love it. Jeez my hubby has been saying what names he likes for our future baby/babies for a while now and they are so bad! But the worst part is that I've felt so desperate and esp during IVF, I just wanted it to work that I started to not care.....scary!! I think I would had called my twinnies Walnut and Whipper just because I would had been so happy to have them . 
Fab news about getting lots of tests done to eliminate any issues. I'm really feeling good about your frosties . 
So my diary plan came through the post yesterday and I'll be starting the pill beginning of December to start next cycle from 1st Jan but I need to go to the clinic in December to have the scratch done (eeeek!!).

Hope everyone is well xxxx


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## Bexter83

Hey *Tricia* god I can imagine Hun!! But I'll give you a PMA whack just to be sure, lol   . I know you'll be ok but great after to give you that reassurance. Please do let me know how you get on tomorrow. And that's for everyone actually, I've become such a worrier since starting IVF and it honestly plays on my mind when each of you ladies are going through a new stage, so please do let us know your ok after. 
Hope this week has been calmer chick. Don't let your work put too much on you. 
I'm ok thanks , just been really busy and have my plan for January, so am ok.

Kazza & Lottie really all the best for scans this week also .


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## K.Notman

Morning all. Another frosty one!
*Bexter*, I know what you mean about feeling concern for everyone's scans etc. It's the fear that it isn't over until you are holding you little one(s) and we want it for each other so much. It really is giving me hope how you have been so positive since your review and now you have your diary this seems so real that you are giving it another go very soon. I didn't realise the scratch was done so early in the treatment? I certainly have a whole document of questions that I have already emailed the consultant so she knows what's coming and can't fob me off. I know being NHS they'll be reluctant to do things that will cost them money but we are willing to pay for any extras to make it work. As far as being around other babies, it is hard but I won't ever begrudge my friends from having their little miracles as they are equally deserving of having their families. It's not rubbed in our faces- in fact DH cousin contacted us to let us know she was pregnant before going public with everyone else as she knew what we'd been through and wanted to pre-warn us, which I thought was very thoughtful.

*Tricia*, I am really looking forward to Christmas and it's going to be a good distraction whilst waiting between cycles. I think I'll be doing a lot online in the next fortnight and taking advantage of these offers the media are talking about.

*Poppy*, what a brilliant review! I'm really hoping mine is as proactive. I know you've been researching this game a while so know what you want. I'm going to try and get as many tests done as possible too to throw everything at the next cycle. What have you got against the scratch by the way? At least you know you're half way there, having good quality blasts in the freezer. I know they don't all defrost properly but I'm confident that your little one is in there and that 2015 is YOUR year. I miss our chat nights now that I have to attend Panto rehearsals (and God knows we need a lot of practice!) so I hope you girls all continue to keep each other entertained until I can join in again in January.

How is everyone coping with being back at work? It's good to get back into routines but it must feel strange trying to be 'careful' all the time with such heightened awareness. You just need to think of all the women who go for ages not knowing they are pregnant! As Jules would say "Keep eating your greens!"

AFM, nothing new to report from yesterday so have a good day everyone. Keep warn and smiling, or else 
Love and hugs 
Kirstie


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## jules418

Morning all, 

Hope you are all well 

Kirstie I am glad your Uncle has turned a corner it must have been and still is a worrying time especially with the family being so far away. You are an amazing person who is very very caring 

Bexter, I totally think you should call them walnut and whipper haa haa. You are welcome at chez jules for christmas we will have a tree hee hee. January will soon be here december next week !!!! 

Poppy - fab news from your review and I am glad they are 'throwing every thing' at it. 

Tricia can't wait to hear about your scan tomorrow I am excited for you 

MrsF - your scan too this week how are you feeling bet you can't wait especialy as it is 8 weeks  

Kazza - how are things with you? 

AFM - well still not sure how I am or DH for that matter, we are kind of zombi ish. Work was better than I thought it was going to be although burst in to uncontrollable sobs when I saw my old manager he was lovely and ushered me in to a conf room. Then Ispoke with my new manager (never met him) and he too was lovely, started the conversation with...I'm going to cry so I'm sorry haa haa what a div. But yeah I am glad I came in I would have gone in to a piral of depression at home and may have taken it out on the dogs which would have been awful as they are too lovely. 
By yesterday evening I had calmed alot but today I feel soooooooooooooo low, sooooo sad I literally had to scrape myself out of bed and force myself to come. I wanted to stay in bed and wallow then go watch disney films and cry into a pool of snot, but lets face it that is not productive so here I am. Mug of tea on the go cos that fixes everything..... fact!!!! 

HOWEVER I shall be ok, I have my humour weird as it maybe haa haa I have been using that a lot maybe as a mask but what ever gets a smile hey. this isn't the end by a long shot I would like to thank each and every one of you for your kind words hugs and most importantly the bum shakes  

Can't wait to hear all about the pregnancy progressions on here I am honestly excited about them I truely am. 

I am meeting my cousins wives for lunch today (organised last week) and their 2 kids 6 months and 3 months....joy!!! rip off that plaster 

Hope you are having joyous days sorry I may have bought the mood down lets bring it up with a song 

Bit of KISS

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Wanna rock and roll all niiiiiiighhhhhhttttt 
and party every day !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Come on everyone 

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHT
AND PARTY EVERY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Bexter83

That's the spirit Jules! Sing it out!
SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE, SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE.....SHAKE YOUR BOOTY   

Great to hear that work was better than expected and your colleagues are being supportive and sensitive too. Def agree! Work (even if your concentration and efforts are not all there (sorry boss! ), is a good distraction/time filler until your getting the drugs and pain out of your system. I was so annoyed that my manager wouldn't give me any shifts in the first 2 weeks, when I knew that's what I needed. Anyways, whatever!! 

Have your lovely cup of tea, have mini treats to pick you up and once your up and out, you'll be fine. Doesn't help when it's so cold outside. I hate that feeling when your bed is warm and you put your foot out, it's like doing a an expedition on the South Pole or something! Ok, maybe not quite so bad, hehe. 

Bless you for seeing your family with their babies today. It will be hard but it's another test to prove to you just how strong you are! 

Ah cool thanks!! , if we're not dragged into doing something with the family, then you may just see us there, I'll be the one sitting next to your Christmas tree, admiring .....honestly, I don't have a weird Christmas Tree fetish, I promise, haha.

Lots of love and big hugs


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## jules418

just had these of two guys at work....made me cry


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## tricia1012

Aww that was lovely of them Jules  how cute ! Xx


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## BeckyA

Afternoon lovely ladies, just a quickie from me as gotta go back to work soon. Will try to make chat tomorrow night.

*jules*, you brave girl. How lovely of your co-workers. Sending you my thoughts and lots of 

Great news on the review *poppy*, lots to think about and very thorough. Now you can look forward to xmas and 2015 will be your (all of our's) year.

*bexster*, exciting about the diary coming through and soon you're gonna have the scratch.

Best of luck with scans this week *tricia*, *kazza*, and *mrsf*.

*lottie*, not sure when your scan is so if its this week, good luck!

Hi to *anyone else* I have forgotten!

AFM, been for baseline scan today and to talk about when next cycle will be. They seemed happy with the follicle count (10 on the left and 3 on the dodgy right ovary, must google this later to see if good or not!). They agreed they won't cycle me next month as they close over xmas, so I am down for cycling in January, starting approx 15th. They want to do same protocol (short) as this time as they felt it was a "good result" (i guess in terms of eggs and fertilisation, not the actual end result!!  )
They also indicated that they are considering not counting the first IcSi as there was no transfer, so, if this next doesn't work, I may have another shot free!!

ALSO, I can come back to the motherland for Xmas! Wooop! Just booked my flights!


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## jules418

yay becky that all sounds fab and bonus that you may get cycle back not that you will need it 

how lovely to be back in uk for christmas, when do you fly in and go home. maybe we could sort an FF met up whilst your here if you have the time

i have just had lunch with cousins wives and children and I was ok, they don't know about the IVF so i put on my brave face and rolled with it even cuddled both babies. I feel awful now very emotional I seem to be getting worse as the days go on not better. Maybe that is the zombiness wearing off. 

I also had a call from my manager saying that the restructure put me in the wrong group so although i had confirmation of my job this has now changed and I am in a different group and will be doinga different job, but not yet and they don't knwo when.., What a   joke 

on the bright side I am at home with my doggies snuggled up to me and Rocky is snoring rather loudly haa haa. 
I have SW later (don't want to go) and hopefully joining the gym so will be there after that. I really want to punch someones face in. 

right where's that kiss song gone....come on
Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii wanna rock and roll all niiiiiight and party every day!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Kazza79

Hi whippers 

Tricia- loving the tumble weed bit lol made me laugh but I agree it's very quiet now   good luck with your scram tomorrow hun I can't wait to read how many are in there lol it's very exciting xxx

MrsF- only a day to go hun not long xxx

Jules- your such a great person hun and I love it how you are so strong, your gift from work is really sweet and shows how loved you are hun, it won't be long till you start your DR and we will all be there with you   X

Bexter- a Christmas tree fetish lol iv never heard of one of them lol is it the smell ? I love the smell of Christmas if you now what I mean lol pine,wood, warm and dust lol but together is magical xxx

Becky- I'm pleased everything is going really well with the plans to start the next cycle hun it will be here before you know it xxxx

Hope everyone is ok xxxx


----------



## poppy05

Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooo


Bexter i cracked up reading your post, i double dare you to name your twins, walnut and whipper!!!!!!    so funny, and we are having twins to you know!!!! all this waiting, surely 2 are gonna come at once?!!!   


kirstie, shame you miss our wed chats, if your ever about and fancy a natter just pm me,   
to answer your question, i dont believe the scratch makes any difference to implantation, i feel its such a sensitive precious area and it should be left alone, i do not believe that by having it done it will effect the outcome either way, therefore i dont see the point in having it, but thats just my opinion, and dont think anyone having it is wrong, i just personally wont be   


tricia please text me tomorrow i cant wait til i get home to hear its twins!!!!! good luck babe, its going to be amazing   


Hi to everyone else


So who else is putting their decs up this weekend? im so excited, i love doing my tree, my mum calls me the christmas nazi!!!    i dont let dw or anyone touch my tree!!!!   


Right im off sorry for quick post, but just got in from work and need food!
catch up tomorrow whippers!!!


----------



## tricia1012

Oh ladies , having the worst night started spotting a little tonight and I've got cramps low down  been trying to rest but I'm terrified even more now . Told hubby I don't even want to go to the scan in the morning  sorry for the me post


----------



## Mrs_F

Evening all, I do pop on often to see how you're all getting on, it's sad that this this board is quieting down, but then the are pastures anew hopefully around the corner for us all with new cycles and Frostie transfers and the BFP boards. Crossing my fingers for each and every one of us xx   Poppy, will this board remain 'open' for a while, or do you lock it? Xx

Tricia, wishing you all the very best for tomorrow. Hoping that the spotting eases soon and that you get some lovely news at your scan in the morning. Can't wait to hear how you've got on xx

Poppy, these are for you...       Ho ho Ho! I LOVE christmas too and hopefully my new carpet will be going down tomorrow so I can really go to town dressing my beautiful new living room  Yay!

Hi kazza... THanks for the hello. Just two more sleep for me to wait now.  I swear this has been the longest wait EVER. 

Hi lovely Jules... How lovely of your colleagues. Very supportive of them, and very well deserved - you need people to be being a bit kinder and a bit gentler at the moment xxx

beckyA, your appointment sounded really positive... Can't wait to hear how you're getting on in huge new year  and whoopppiieeeee if they give you the next cycle for free. Fingers crossed x

Hi Kirstie, hi Macca, hi threebee, hi everyone else xxx

All good at this end... Already a teeny bit fed up with the colder darker wetter weather, but at least there's lots of nice Christmassy things to fill the calendar with at the moment  it's January that's going to drag on and on and on and on  

as I mentioned I am still waiting for my viability scan... It's been four weeks now! But the end is insight, two more sleeps to go. Just hoping and praying that all is well in there. I am already starting to expand a bit in huge middle... THank goodness for layered knitwear to hide lumps and bumps! Xxxx


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies,

*Tricia* it could be implantation bleed, bit of old blood. I know it's scary Hun and I would be exactly the same. Really wish you all the best with your scan today , I hope all is good in there and you get that reassurance. Xx

Goodluck to all the ladies who have their scans this week. Thinking of you all.

Lol *Poppy* the Christmas tree nazi! . I know what you mean! I'm quite particular too ......once I tried to make a thing of it, to get into the festive spirit, i got all excited and couldn't wait for the DH to get home, I made mulled wine, put music on but conveniently he was running late and I had to make a start on it, doing all the boring bits like getting the decs from the attic, assembling the tree, opening each and every branch out, sorting out the lights and he strolls in putting all the nice bits on, he was like this is fun! (Yeah like after I did all the crappy jobs and hoovering up all the glitter! We did have loads of fun to be fair and got quite tipsy but the next day after he went to work, I had to re do it!  
Sounds like a fun weekend for you though .

*Jules* I'm sorry your work is giving you grief. Well done for being so strong with your family yesterday too. Sending you hugs  . Ok have a nice cuppa, tuck into your lovely chocolates Hun, do a bum wiggle to the World    and I promise your going to start feeling better xxxx

*Kazza*, I don't really have a Christmas tree fetish  ha ha but now I am starting to question it! Know what you mean, I love that pine smell . Do you remember a few years ago, Heston Bloomenthal made pine scented mince pies at waitrose.....they tasted just as good as any other but they smelt more Christmassy, still not worth £3 though . How are you doing?

*BeckyA* great news on getting the dates on your next cycle. You wouldn't want the stress of doing it over the festive period with lots of staff taking holiday and not knowing when your going in for your next scan, EC, ET and it being about when they're open, not when your body needs these things. Plus you can enjoy a cheeky tipple over Christmas too! Fab news that this one could be funded too, that would be great! And your back here for Christmas also. Sounds all great Hun.

Xxxx


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## K.Notman

Morning all!
*Bexter*, I love seeing what Heston Bloomenthal comes up with next! Yummy! I know what you mean about re-doing Christmas decs after DH has done them. Mine is very particular about decorations as you can imagine so there are some things I let him take control of e.g. outside lights. We'll probably get things out of the loft this weekend (need our advent calendar!) and then bits will start being done over the following fortnight. 
*Mrs F* It's good to hear you are getting on well. Only one more sleep until scan! We are so used to this waiting now and have to take each day at a time. I'm praying that it's all good news and look forward to hearing about it.
*Tricia*, I know you must feel so emotional, worried, anxious etc but the scan is going to be good to know what's going on in there. I'm sure the bleeding was nothing to worry about, I hear that many people spot so keep positive and let us know how you get on today and if it's twins?
*Poppy*, Thanks for the chat offer, it's great to know we are all here for each other. I'll ask about the scratch at my review but I'm open to any suggestions, so thanks for giving me your viewpoint. I hope you'll post a picture of your tree when it's all done, sounds amazing!
*Kazza*, How are you? Enjoying the Christmas prep I hope and using it as a distraction form any worries. You can get nice scented candles that smell Christmassy. I like cranberry and cinnamon ones.
*Jules*, your colleagues are so thoughtful, how lovely. I'm glad you are keeping upbeat, even if it's for show. It helps keep you going each day. I kept singing "always look on the bright side of life" and "what will be will be"! Where else might you consider for tx if not BWH? I heard an advert on Heart FM for 'Midlands Fertility' the other day, they do free consultations. You'll need to write to BWH and pay for a copy of your notes to discuss though so it might be worth getting that ball rolling now to give you more options (and you know it'll take them ages to sort out!). Have a good day hun. Might see you at the weekend?
*Becky*, sounds like you are focused on the next cycle and it's reassuring that they were pleased with the various attributes of the last cycle. December will be good to regulate your body, keep taking the supplements and then hit January with all the PMA you can muster! Hopefully I'll be with you but I still don't know what my review will bring on the 8th.

Hello to all the other lurkers who pop on the board. I hope everyone is healthy and happy.

AFM, I'm fine and dandy. Motivation to exercise is fluctuating as the warm bed is more appealing in the morning than a 20 min Jillian Michaels workout! Still doing karate twice a week though and watching what I eat (most of the time!). My weekends are getting pretty booked up with social engagements to help the time go quicker. I'm writing lots of 'To-do' lists which I love ticking off and feeling productive. Unfortunately DH doesn't like the lists I give him lol! His routines are slipping a little so I need to crack the whip! Anyway, have a good day all and happy chatting tonight. I seriously need to learn my lines for rehearsal!
Kirst


----------



## tricia1012

Morning ladies , 

Omg what a night I haven't actually been to sleep !! Had a tiny bit more spotting but it's ok at the min the doc says it can happen . My ovaries are huge that's why I am cramping so much but she said they will scan me again next week to check and they should go down on there own .

So it's twins !! Two little heartbeats I'm in complete shock !!

Thankyou for all of your support yesterday sorry I was a mess 

Love to all xxx


----------



## Bexter83

OMG Tricia I'm so flipping relieved!!! Absolutely wonderful news, I'm over the moon for you! Now, you need to stop having these sleepless nights and long hours at work, look after number 1, or should I say 3 😜. I reckon there's 2 little girls in there  . Those baby wands are worth it right!!
Xxx

Love your messages Kirste, I don't know what it is but you have such a calming effect. How is your exercise/health kick programme going? I didn't think of that actually! I've been dragging myself out for an hours run 2-4 times a week but it's so cold and my trainers are wrecked, I have to put them under the radiator to dry out for the next day. I can't wait to be cycle buddies again!

Xxxx


----------



## jules418

Oh tricia, this is the loveliest news ever and yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy twins  I am soo soo so so so so sooooooooo pleased for you. how mazing to see that on the screen.

What a relief to know the cramping is from your ovaries and good they are keeping an eye on them.

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy you have made my day my dear you really really reallly have 

Kirstie - not sure yet not looked at anywhere else i guess i should I will google that place in a mo. our initial thoughts were to go back to BW as the process did work so to speak just my body letting me down and I guess there is that level of comfort knowing the staff a bit and they were always lovely apart from the emergency call bob made on 'that' morning the nurse was awful to him even said 'what do you expect us to do' whilst i was screaming in pain in the bathroom, but I think the review will help have some answers and poppy has been great with advise so thank you *poppy * 

MrsF - hope the unicorn has been helping out lol  only 1 sleep to go now yayy

Bexter - I love the smell of christmas we have a christmas air plug in thing in the hall so when we walk in it hits you ...lovely.

BeckyA - I think I was thinking of you yesteday...well I was thinking of a large glass of red and then you popped in my head hee hee.

Poppy - how are you hun glad you are getting ready for christmas this weekend can't believe how close it is now. We have DH and my sisters birthday on Monday so we delay the christmas side of things for a couple of weeks but I am putting up my wooden german tree in the office it is cute will post a pic when it is up 

Love to all, have a fabulous week, I may not be on much as off after 1pm today and harder for me to get on as much when not at work (that is not right is it haa ha) but i shall pop on occasionally for a bum wiggle or 2. also wont be on chat tomorrow as going to my sisters will try and catch you if you are still on afterwards.

Jules
P.S. Sorry for sounding like a 90 year old granny saying my dear hee hee

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii wanna rock and roll allll niiiighhttttt and PARTY every day!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## K.Notman

Woooooooooooooooooo Tricia, so pleased for you.  Now to relax.  You have peace of mind and now need to look after you precious duo!
Thank you Bexter, I guess I just say what I think and have always been bought up to treat others as I'd want to be treated. Group hugs all round!    
Running is harder in the winter so I do my DVD's instead but lately my 'To do' list is taking priority on exercise, prehaps if I put exercise on the list I might do it, lol!
Jules, I know what you mean- 'better the devil you know' at BWH. Your Christmas air plug-in made me laugh, imagining Santa with a stick hitting you as you come in the house.  Perhaps we can get a PMA plug-in to bash people   lol
xxx


----------



## Mrs_F

TWINNNSSS! How exciting! Congratulations Tricia xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Thank you ladies  

The support from all of you is amazing you really have got me through some tough times ! I would be lost without you all . I know some of you still have some journeys to face and I promise I'll be here for you all through it , were friends now  

Jules - thanks Hun you've been through such a tough time recently but your such a happy positive women you and your hubby will make amazing parents it will happen !! Xx

Mrs f and Kazza - best of luck for your scans tomorrow xx

Poppy - you are an amazing support   So lucky to have met you on here , your turn soon lovely xx

Lottie - my cycle buddie where would I be without you !! Prob sectioned in a loony bin you really have kept me sane when I've been a right loon lol next week you'll get to see your babies  xx

Kirstie - Thankyou for your kind message , you are one busy lady wish I could be as organised as you  best of luck  with your rehearsal xx

Bexter - Thankyou Hun I will try and take it easier now don't think I have a choice . Won't be long for you now either and you'll be starting


----------



## BeckyA

Many congrats *tricia*! Fantastic news! Hope you are feeling a little less crampy. X


----------



## Kazza79

Tricia- omg I'm so so pleased for you hun I knew it would be great news I'm so happy for you TWINS hun that's great  there are so many twins at the min lol xxx

Have to run but will be back on later to do personals just wanted to say great news to Tricia xxxxxx


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## Lottie1802

Well done Tricia !!!!!   as poppy would say BOGOF !!! Well worth all the worry now eh !

Ladies I am trying to stay awake for chat if anyone is coming on , but I am struggling , I'll loiter in case any one comes by 

 to you all


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## hopeful1985

Hey lovely ladies! 

Remember me? I have been following you all and wish you all the best of the luck with the BFPs and also with the BFNs I wish you luck in moving forward in whatever decision you make. I hope you are keeping well, i have been stalkerish and checking in on you and reading up on your progress loool. I have not commented before as I needed a bit of a break from it all. Not heard from the hospital at all since the appointment where they cancelled the cycle. Still in the dark and have no possible reasons or more importantly solutions to avoid the problem again. Why do they insist on being soooo disconnected and give so little info, grrr! Anyway, I am now married and we had our honeymoon and it was lovely to go away and have fun and take advantage of the all inclusive alcohol. I am now back to reality with a bump. Started 2nd period since my cancelled cycle last night and have called the hospital this morning as i was told to do only to be told that it may not be possible to begin again now as Bridge centre is closed throughout Christmas - after explaining to them for the 100th time that I need to start this month as I lose my sperm donor on 1st Feb (due to delays and the lack of black donors they have already kept sample on hold for me longer than they should) - the upshot is that I have to go in today for my baseline scan so they can decide whether I can go ahead as planned or whether I have to wait and lose the donor. So I  have to tell my boss that I need to disappear this afternoon without prior warning again (should be interesting as apparently IVF is my choice and not a necessity and is certainly not a medical requirement) and I am now once again sucked into the vortex that is IVF. Weird feelings - excitement and dread. - excited of the possibilities and beginning our journey again and at the same time absolute dread as this time I know what to expect and know that i have probes, scans and a million needles in my future!

Is anyone else due to take the plunge again?

Love to you all, it genuinely makes my day to read of the BFPs, gives me the strength to keep trying, thank you for sharing it with us

xxxxxxxxx


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## Bexter83

Hi ladies, hope your all doing well .

Hi *Hopeful* hope you've been well since I last heard from you the other Wednesday in chat room. Huge congratulations on your Wedding and glad you had a lovely honeymoon. 
Sorry you've had a frustrating time with the hospital, jeez they can be so annoying! I really hope you can be on track in Jan. Yep I'll be cycling in Jan too  and totally know what you mean! Although am enjoying this time in between I do occasionally think about those pesky jabs to look forward too!! Eeek .

Love to all


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## lambklly2

Hi ladies sorry I'm just quickly popping on, so many pages have been filled since I was last on.
wow more twinnies well done tricia xx
Hi to everyone else, hope you are all well. I did plan on going into chat last night but I totally forgot AGAIN lol.
Just wanted to let you know my blast survived the thaw this morning so am now officially pupo. Only 4/5 days they I can start testing lol xx


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## poppy05

Hi hopeful how lovely to hear from you   
congratulations on your wedding hun, i was thinking about you the other day and wondered how it went, so glad you had a lovely day   
good luck with your cycle, im doing fet in feb   


Hi all, hope everyones ok? 
I feel ill today, had cramps in my tummy and feel really dizzy    perhaps im gonna get af soon? 


Be back later girls xx


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## hopeful1985

Well i have been given the green light... scan wasnt great today but they r gonna chuck every drug known to man at me so fingers crossed. Start DR on 16th and see how we go. I have joined dec/jan buddies but still gonna stay here with u lovely ladies. Good luck Bexter and Poppy, we r in it together. Lambkilly how exciting! Wish u all the luck in the world. Xxx


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## lambklly2

Hopeful that's great news, good luck hun xx
poppy I hope your feeling better soon   xx


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## Kazza79

Hi all

We had our scan today and was really pleased to see 1 little bouncy beanie lol with a very clear heart beat, we are very pleased it's just the 1 as I didn't want to have to get a mini van lol 

Hope everyone is having a great day xxxx


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## poppy05

Ahhh huge congrats kazza, wonderful news


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## tricia1012

Kazza - congrats on your scan  

Poppy - sorry to hear your not feeling great Hun hope it eases xx

Lambklly - congrats on being pupo !!  Best of luck this will be your time   Xx

Hopefull - welcome back Hun  best of luck with this cycle  

Lottie - hope your enjoying working from home  rest up this weekend and take care of that baby few more days until you see your baby  xx

Afm - wow what a day in agony last night so mad dash to the clinic this morning , had a scan babies all ok but ovaries are huge , went home nearly passed out in pain so now I'm admitted into hosp with ohss  
So painfull wouldn't wish this on anyone but got to see the babies again so there's a plus side  

Have a mad old granny opposite me she keeps telling me when she wants to go loo and asking me to put her to bed wtf!!  She better not end up in my bed tonight lol


----------



## poppy05

Tricia im so glad your in hospital!! in the nicest possible way but ive been worried about you    im so sorry you have ended up with the dreaded ohss, have you had to have any fluids drained? i really hope you begin to feel a bit better in a day or two, rest up babe, and im glad you got to see your babies again


----------



## tricia1012

Thanks poppy your so lovely   They haven't mentioned draining them yet but there giving me clexane which im a bit worried about I'm on so many other meds I just don't like taking more im only just gave in and took paracetamol today lol .


----------



## threebee

*Tricia* you poor thing, I hope you are feeling better really soon and won't have to stay in too long. Lots of


----------



## lambklly2

Fantastic new kazza, well done hun xx


----------



## lambklly2

Tricia I'm sorry your feeling ill, your def in the best place and lovely to see your little babies again xx


----------



## Kazza79

I prob should know but how does ohss work? Is it from all the meds from before EC or is it from the meds your on now?


----------



## macca21

Tricia sorry to here that, hope your ok and they are looking after you.

kazza thats great news  

Afm I had my second scan today my 9w one and all is ok with baby  they did say since my last scan at 7w my right ovary has become swollen and I have a cyst on it which should go away at 12w once I stop the pessaires. But it is quite sore so am in a little pain but just trying to get on with it.

Hope everyone is ok sending   xx


----------



## jules418

Hi ladies

Quick one from me will be back tomorrow 

Kazzaaaaaa yayyyyyyyy well done hunni whoop whoop

Really chuffed for you 

Jx x.


----------



## tricia1012

Omg ladies you may not here from me for a while I might be arrested lol this old lady has kept me up all night shouting !! I'm so grumpy when I can't sleep . I'll be discharging myself ASAP !! I just want my bed  

Sorry for the rant but better I do it here than shout at her


----------



## Mrs_F

Morning all, just a quickie from me. Sorry to not post often, I keep loosing track of which thread to comment on! 

Kazza - brilliant news about your scan! Hurrah for 'only one' i know what a relief that is!

Tricia - poor you being admitted  OHSS is the worst  I had it with my last pregnancy (although I was never hospitalised) this cycle I was on such a high protein diet... Might still help now? Protein shakes and salty snacks and Gatorade. Might help, combined with the hospital treatment. And sorry, but I did laugh at your plight with the old lady on the ward.... Earlier in the year I was admitted to a ward of oldies and because I was young, they assumed I was a nurse, constantly asking me for a commode or telling me they had wet the bed!!! Murder would be perfectly justified!!!

Hi Macca, lovely to hear your scan went well  hope your cyst isn't causing you discomfort x

Hi hopeful, congratulations on your wedding and yay for getting dates to start cycling again x looking forward to hopefully hearing some good news x

Lambkly, congratulations on being PUPO... Feeling excited for you... Fingers crossed those POSS start brining some good news soon x

A big hello to my lovely pal Jules   And hi to everyone else... Poppy, threebee, Kirstie, and everyone I've missed xxx

AFM, we had a lovely scan yesterday, saw our one lovely little baby measuring perfectly. So pleased and relieved. Enjoyed lunch and dinner out with DH so it was a nice celebration. Now I am totally in a Christmassy mood... Lots of festive things to loom forward to, Poppy, I will give you a run for your money in the christmas overkill!!

Lots of love to all xx


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## tricia1012

Yay!! I'm out I don't have to do any granny bashing !! Doc said I just have to rest up  

Mrs f - glad your scan went well  xx

Hope your all getting in the Christmassy mood this weekend getting your trees ready to go up  poppy I know you'll beat us all to it  can't believe christmas is so soon !!


----------



## Bexter83

Hi ladies 

Huge congrats on your little ones heartbeat *Kazza*, wonderful news!

Congrats also *Mrs F,* great to hear your second scan has gone really well .

You girls have really given me hope. This is such an emotional journey, as you all know but I feel so hopeful now and able to feel myself again in this in between time, knowing that things will work out eventually.

*Macca*, glad to hear you have a lovely heartbeat but I hope the pain in your right ovary calms down bad there's no cysts there.

You poor thing *Tricia*! Gosh it's not been an easy ride for you at all! Your doing so well though and I hope you get to leave the hospital soon and you start to feel better soon too. Oh jeez! I feel sorry for that lady but seriously would have had to put a muzzle on her or something! Fab news that your scan again was good.

Yay! Congrats on being PUPO *Lambklly*, wishing you all the best and success this cycle Hun. Xx

Good news *Hopeful*, great to hear it's all going ahead now and yay we will be cycle buddies in jan (kind of).

*Lottie* Hun, hope this wait isn't making you crazy! Hang in there, not long now .

How are you *Jules*? Hope your ok, thinking of you and got some bum wiggles for you to get that Friday feeling!   . Lots of love xx

*Poppy* not long til you do your tree! Am excited for you and we want pictures after!! Hope your doing well chick xxx

I have a very random question.... I don't know what it is but in the last few weeks I'm having a constant salty taste in my mouth, like I've been kicking one of those salt hamster things or something! I've been researching it and some things are saying it's down to the effect of medication, especially ones which effect hormones and also I bought a higher dose coenzyme Q10 when last one ran out and something said something about that. His problem is actually really getting on my nerves now and was wondering if anyone had experienced this after all the drugs?

Xxxx


----------



## Kazza79

Hi everyone

Bexter- iv not had or heard of the salt taste but I'm sure someone on here will know but for now just stay away from the salt licks lol   xx

Tricia- hope you are feeling better today hun and I hope the old woman isn't causing you any greif lol xxx

Lottie- not long now hunny hope you are feeling ok xxx

Poppy- hope you are ok hun and can't wait to see your tree up xxxx

Hope everyone else is ok and having a good day xxx


----------



## jules418

Hi ladies 

Hope you are all well 

Tricia not sure about the salt but make sure you drink lots of water 

Lottie how are you hun not long now xx

Mrsf hope you are taking it easy did the carpet go in 

Kirstie looking forward to a catch up tomorrow 

Bexter thanks for the bum shakes always appreciated lol

Poppy how are you hun are you getting Christmas high?? 

I was just watching TV and heard the loveliest saying and thought it appropriate for us ladies recycling in the new year and those who will be blooming.

"spring is the best time of year, for it is when everything starts growing again"

Thought I would share and it made me smile and a little bit of Pma crept in.

Jxx


----------



## Bexter83

Morning ladies 

*Jules* that's a sweet message  and it's true, it will for all of us . 
Yeah it's weird, am drinking so much water but just v strange. I'm sure it will soon go.

Thanks for the advice *Kazza*  I'll try and stay away from the hamster salt lick, haha.

Great!!! I have a feeling my AF is coming and so typical! My periods have been irregular for 2 years and now I have the pill to take from 8th Dec to time next cycle from 1st Jan. I really hope it doesn't come, as if it's early, I'll need to wait another month, I think? The clinic will be winding down Christmas to NY time. Fingers crossed it won't arrive!

Xxxxx


----------



## Lottie1802

Hey ladies , I'm still here ...tearing my hair out ! This is the longest wait in the universe  

Jules , keep up that PMA your doing a great job  

Kazza well done on the scan ! Fantastic news 

Mrs F glad the bubby is doing well 

Bexter not heard of the salty taste ! Doesn't sound nice though, you need some tea and cake ;-)

Tricia I'm glad your out and looking after those little ones

Poppy It's the first of dec , I hope that tree is up!

Hello to anyone I've missed it's not intentional

AFM time is still stood still , I'm so stressed with work I just want to get this presentation out the way tomorrow so I can look forward to my scan , I'm off sick today just so I can rest up, I was really ill through the night, hot and sick and pounding head, I couldn't even eat yesterday , I really hope after Thursday I can start looking forward to Christmas


----------



## jules418

Hello ladies - wowee it is sure quiet here ....

Lottie - lovely to see you osting and I am glad you have had a chilled day today don't stress about work it will all go well and you will think what was i stressing about  

Bexter - how are you and your salty mouth hee hee hee (sorry being rude) 

Poppy - have you completed the christmas spruce? I think I am doing the tree this sat or the following sunday not sure yet depends on hang overs haa haa. 

Kirstie - promise not to be too ill on the 13th  

Tricia how are you feeling now how is the OHSS? 

Kazza - hope you are well. 

Hi everyone else. 

AFM - I had a lovely weekend, had a chill on friday after hospital follow up (check i was ok internally) I got the nurse to check my ovaries too and they looked healthy (aparently just look like dark blobs to me). I have a review appointment on 11th Dec to go over this cycle and why I miscarries etc what we want to do going forward etc etc. the nurse said they won't look into miscarriage too much as only had 2 so I am tempted to lie and say I have had 3.... is that naughty?? 

Personally I am feeling a lot brighter, I think i hit rock bottom wednesday and thursday then climbing back up again. I looked in the mirror last week and i had a proper trout face i couldn't even attempt that face now but i guess that is a good sign. 

Hope you are all well. I am off to see Slash tonight at the NEC (or whatever it is called nowadays) for my DH and sisters birthdays (share same day) 

going to get my rock head on and have a good bum wiggle


----------



## poppy05

ho ho ho its santa pops here!!!!      


iiiiiits chriiiiiistmaaaaaaaaasssss!!!!!!   


hi gang, can you tell im excited?
sorry ive not posted, been busy decorating tree's and grottofying my house!


tricia i hope you're feeling a bit better my lovely   


lottie good luck with your presentation babes, and roll on thurs, i have to say this wait is really dragging, it feels like you should be about 20 weeks pg!!!!    you must be going crazy, so exciting that you get to see your baby this week   


jules have fun tonight darling, and yes i would lie and say i have had 3 mc   
if it means getting investigations then defo lie


kirstie hows panto practice going? wish we could all come and see you   


bexter hope your ok my darling   


becky, kazza, macca, mrs f, hopeful, lambklly, hope you girls are all ok   


not much to report here, just doing the christmas thing, almost finished my shopping, just a christmas outfit to buy, and some festive alcohol, then im done!   


i wont be able to host our chat night on wed, i have my staff meeting, we have one once a month on a wed, so if you like i can host one on thurs? im finishing at 8 tomorrow wed and fri, so thurs is my only free eve, let me know girls and i'll be there   


have a good week all, sending love, and festive hugs


----------



## jules418

Morning Ladies

Wow Slash was AMAZING love it was like being transported to my teen years  and he is still fit too which is a bonus. Had a real late one though so am pooped today 

Poppy - I am about thursday night so be nice to have a catch up  

Lottie - hope your presentation goes well remember - naked and chocolate haa haa, deep breaths and it will be over time to chill  

Love to all

Jxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Hi ladies, hope you are all well.

Jules, so happy your feeling loads better and you had a great time seeing Slash last night too  sounds like a fab night! I saw on ******** actually, my mate is friends with one of the members and was there last night too. 
Glad your ovaries and everything is all good Hun, great news! Yeah def say 3! I had to say I did an extra month of clomid with no response to get to the next stage because you know what they're like, it's a tick box system and then you have to wait a million years otherwise, so I would stretch the truth in this situation. 
Really sounds like it's moving quickly for you though, so am really happy about that. 
Lol, my salty mouth is still there a bit. I went to the doctors yesterday, I swear I know more than him and I get he's on about £100K a year too . Anyways I've stopped taking the co enzyme Q10 600mg as of yesterday as I looked I to that and apdome people experience it and it started a few days after that, so we'll see if it's that? 

Lottie, I really thought this time was going to fly by but jeez this wait has felt forever!!! 2 more sleeps to go Hun until you see your bubbas!! Exciting😃! Sounds like work is full on, don't push yourself too much but suppose it's a good distraction.

Sounds so lovely and Christmassy in the Poppy household!   . How are you? I'm ok thanks Hun. So silly but yesterday that fear kicked in that it was exactly a month yesterday til I start my jabs! Great . Oh the fun begins 😩🔫. 

Xxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Feel the same Bexter... struggling to get excited for this upcominh cycle. Totally gutted and dreading it.... grrrr.... buserelin and needles arrived today :/ where is a bloody genie when u need one? Lol xcxx


----------



## Bexter83

*hopeful*. It's weird isn't it, you go through waves of feeling strong and excited, like it's an opportunity to have what you want but then reality hits about the process and can really imagine what it's like again. Now I really fancy a glass of wine, ha ha! Every time I go into the spare bedroom where I put the washing etc I honestly get a chill down my spine because it reminds me of where I would have the jabs. Ah well! Well done for getting your meds. What protocol are you on? Buserelin and menopur? 
I'm on a different one next cycle and no buserelin this time, I have 7 days of menopur 450 and then the next 7 days of menopur 450 and Cetriotide......shoot me now!! Emla cream at the ready!! And it's going to cost me a  Fortune, twice as much on meds as last time. Anyways, hopefully will bring success to us for our next cycles.

Xxx


----------



## Lottie1802

Hey ladies !

Jules I was off sick so luckily got out of it, blessing in disguise really , I was getting so worked up , I'm glad because I got to concentrate on feeling better

Hopeful Bexter , I have everything everywhere crossed for you to get your BFP's , I have a good feeling for you both  

Poppy it is Christmasssss!!! But I can't start celebrating until Thursday  

AFM another day closer , I can't shake this feeling of dread , I hope this is normal and not my 6th sense ! I literally have no symptoms it's like they all disappeared  I'm so worried ! My whole Christmas is hanging on this one thing. If it's good news I feel like I'll be able to put my tree up, and talk about being pregnant to my husband and just get back to some kind of normality 

Girls just give me a whack


----------



## Bexter83

*Lottie* Hun I can totally imagine   , it must be a scary wait for this scan but I really think all is good and you can get that reassurance and start enjoying everything and Christmas. You also thought you were going to get a BFN, so it's just the fear which is in your head not intuition. 
Sending you hugs chick, hope you get well soon and also    PMA whack for this waiting time. I know what you need too, tea and cake, hehe.....we so need a catch up! And thank you for saying that too, that really made me feel better, I'm sooooo hoping so! Xx


----------



## Kazza79

Hi all

Sorry iv been missing iv just been crazy busy 

Bexter- I'm so pleased you are all set to start your cycle soon hun and the nerves are normal but this will be the one and at least you have christmas to distract you first so the time will just fly by   Xxx

Jules- I'm glad you are doing much better now hun christmas is well and truly here   loving a bit of Crimbo magic , glad you enjoyed seeing slash hun sounds like a great laugh   Xxx

Poppy- glad you are enjoying the crimbo Magic hun not long to go   Xxx

Lottie- stop worrying hun my symptoms disappeared to hun but all was great I think a serge in hormons make you feel ill then once the hormones settle it seems to vanish so try not to worry hun just relax as everything will be great   Xxxx

AFM- busy busy busy I don't ever seem to stop and I still have all the Xmas shopping to do but really don't want to do it booooo I feel like a Christmas scruge x

Hope everyone else is ok xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Bexter I am on buserelin 50 units twice a day from 16th same as before. Only diff this time is they are going to increase my gonal F I believe... again they are being crap with the info and don't s33m to know whats going on. Even the consultant was talking to my DH about when he goes to give his sperm despite all our notes saying we are using a sperm donor. He also thought i had had the ec and et last cycle and didnt know the cycle had been cancelled before the ec. Honestly it was hurtful and a waste of a morning. Consultant is a dick anyway... the nurses know loads more and i see them regularly and they r easier to talk too.


----------



## Bexter83

Oh jeez! At least the nurses are good and make you feel better! 
Think your on a long protocol then. So is it likely you'll be having EC mid Jan then? 
Xx


----------



## tricia1012

Hello lovely ladies ,

Sorry I've been missing for a while ohss took over my life for a few days but I'm finally back on the mend  Me and hubby had a lovely day yesterday went for a massive munch at Toby carvery then put up the tree together was a lovely Christmassy day  so nice feeling human again !! 

Lottie - just one more day to go Hun I know this has been such a horrible wait for you but i promise everything will be fine and it will all be worth it in the end   You know I've got no symptoms at all and I've got two so I should be feeling something let's just count ourselves lucky I'm sure it will all kick in soon ! Xx

Bexter and hopeful - keep strong girls I know it's tough when you have another cycle looming but try and keep positive this will be your turn ! Xx

Jules - how are you ? Sounds like you had a great night out at slash  xx

Kazza - how are you? Sounds like you are very busy , I'm so lazy  I haven't even thought about Christmas shopping lol xx

Poppy - your tree looks fab !  def made me want to get mine up ASAP Christmas is so fun . Thurs is good for me for chatroom I'll work around you  xx

Hello to everyone else hope your all doing well 
Love and babydust to all xx


----------



## hopeful1985

Thanks ladies for all ur kind words of support. Feel like im being ungrateful because i can't seem to get excited.  My buserilin arrived yest and i got my date for ec 12th Jan. Start DR 16th. Fingers crossed!

How is everyone getting on? 

Glad u r feeling better Tricia! 

Poppy I am dying to see the christmas tree!

Bexter have u had any potential dates thru yet? Woyld be lovely to have someone to share this cycle with. 

I hope u other ladies dont mind meposting on here? Can't seem to feel chatty on the other thread. Feels like starting over and as bad as it sounds i am not ready to rehash my journey again for new people just yet if that makes sense. Feel so much support here it feels lile im cheating lol.

Hows the cold weather treating everyone? 

Keep smiling ladies xxxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Morning ladies,

How is everyone?

*Tricia*, so glad your feeling so much better now  and sounds like you've had a lovely day yesterday too. Thanks for your positive words, honestly it means loads and I will hold onto these when I'm going through next cycle .

1 more sleep *Lottie*!!&#128515;

*Hopeful* , don't feel ungrateful at all! It's natural to feel scared when it's yourself going through it. If I def start stimming on the 1st Jan (diary is set for that but possibility may be a day or 2 out either side, depending when AF arrives, I think? I should be stimming for 14 days (also depending on how I'm responding), so should have EC a few dats after you by the sounds of it! I'm Scared of needles, always have been, had to be held down when I was younger, now I just pass out (check out my picture, this was on day one of DR) and I didn't think the Buserelin hurts and Lottie thought the GonalF was fine, so don't panic Hun, you'll be fine. 
This cold weather is doing my head in! I haven't been out running for over a week, it's too cold! And been freezing my butt off on my travels. The other day came back from a nightmare journey from London, it took me over 2 hrs to get home, every mode of transport possible and loads of train probs due to terrorism scare and train stopped at Luton and loads of us had wait for a bus, it looked liked something Russia, dark, bleak and you could see all our breaths, ha ha. Anyway I survived, lol.

So Poppy you've really got us all in the Christmas spirit, love it!! Hope your doing well Hun, not long til your lovely frosties!! So excited for you.

Jules how are you doing my love? You still rocking to Slash? Got some bum wiggles for you   .

AFM, trying to take one day at a time and trying not to let next cycle scare me. Booking in for my scratch today. 
So no Christmas tree for us but my poinsettia is still alive! That's quite amazing!! But put some other decs up, so it nice. 
Was my nephews 1st birthday and was the first time I saw him since September (I just struggled with little babies up until recently and really feel I've turned a corner and I missed him so much and had lots of cuddles from him. I just cannot wait to be a mum! 
We had some good news on house stuff yesterday and celebrated with a glass of wine and jeez this alcohol famine has turned me into such a cheap date! Nice though. Really limiting the alcohol though.

Xxxx


----------



## jules418

hi ladies woweee chatty lot last night hee hee nice to have something nice to do whilst at work hee hee. 

hopeful - it is not ungrateful at all, I think the 1st time is kind of exciting as there is that belief it will happen and whne it gets post poned or doesn't go as you hope you then step into the next one more cautiously this is more self preservation than becomeing hardened and unemotional. It is such a massive emotional rollercoaster it is natural to want to wear a harness. Also it is lovely having you back on here and I know what you mean about another thread, its just not the same. 

Lottie - I am glad you didn't have to go through that stressful presentation although now I am thinking it was more to do with the naked covered on choc thoughts that mad you bad hee hee. less than 24hours for you hun, keep busy and you will be fine  

Bexter - Slash was ace I am still buzzing also spent yesterday googling him and myles kennedy havinga wee perv hee hee I am like a 12 year old mooching over 1 direction but cooler haa haa. Glad your plant is still alive I can kill plastic ones haa haa. Not long for your next cycle now. Love the bum moves haa haa 

Kirstie - hope you are ok not long til your review have you lots of questions ready. How is work now the family is back, feet up and lots of tea

Chixy - how are you hun xx

Tricia - I am glad you are feeling better sounds like you had a fab day love a bit of carvery I do nom nom 

Kazza - try and have some you moments in your hectic day  hot chocolate always works a treat hee hee. 

Poppy - hope you are ok, looking forward to the chat room  tomorrow. 

MrsF & Macca - hope all is well with you guys xxxxxx

AFM - We have our consent signing app booked in for Jan 22nd, and I think AF is due that date also so hoping we can get the ball rolling quickly with getting the DR going in Feb, I don't want to wait til march... well i don't want to wait til feb but...... haa haa.
Our review in 12th Dec so getting lots of questions together about miscarriage, progesterone levels blood tests NK cells etc etc. I really do thinking it is after ET that is my problem and I am soo going to lie about the 2 and say I have had 3... 

also I need to have a whinge....... 
I know I shall sound ungrateful and petty but i don't care haa haa 

We are hosting christmas this year and having DH's mom and step dad over. They came over a couple of week s ago and she wanted to contribute so we sat down and went through a list of what she could get and what i wanted to get any way she text DH this morning and said she had gotten the brisket and a ham joint and do we have room in the freezer for it!!!!! now I was getting the meat and I was getting it from out lovely butcher down the road, she has now bought some skanky stuff from tesco not fresh and will be frozen (I am sure it is not skanky but for tantrum effect it is...) So I am really   off. Also how does she know I hadn't pre ordered the meat like I have with the turkey.....

So the nice side of me is saying well I am sure she just wanted to help out cos of what happened last week (MC) but the horrid side is saying F off you do your list i'll do mine and if you start on 'what I normally do is...' i'm  gonna knock you out  (I would never) grrrrrrr ok rant over and I do feel better  

thanks for listening lol off to get a brew and internally sing some rock tunes \\m//

Jules
xxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Oh Jules you seriously crack me up, love it!! 

Don't worry, just think more meat = more leftovers which you'll be grateful for after all the expense of Christmas . You know that sometimes too many people in the kitchen isn't always great but more reason to let her get on with it. 
Not long til your review and sounds like your on it to get all your questions answered too. Xxx


----------



## BeckyA

Hello ladies, just a quickie as I am super busy with the end of term and having to look at 700 student reports...yikes!
I will try and make chat tomorrow night, but just wanted to say  to you all.

I picked up my meds for next cycle this morning and now there's no room in the fridge! I've got 3 boxes of menopur, 2 ovitrelle (one left over from cancelled IUi last year!) and 2 boxes of cetrotide!!

*hopeful* and *bexster* and *poppy*, I am gonna put myself on the Jan/Feb thread when it opens up, as I figure that will be the best one. How about you guys?!?


----------



## Bexter83

Hi Becky, nice to hear from you .

I've been seriously procrastinating today (as you can probably tell, lol).
Cool Becky, yeah will going the jan cycle buddies. How does it work? Will it be someone else hosting it or a Poppy will you be doing it? Sorry am not too sure how it works, it was my friend who sent me the link to this thread. I want all the nice people on it, hope there's no weirdos on the the Jan thread .
Oh jeez Becky, that's not nice to look at every time you want to milk for your cuppa! Unsure how Cetrotide looks but can you not take the menopur out of the cardboard box and keep just the plastic bit with vials/solution in? We have a tiny fridge, don't know how I'm going to do it! Have you been on menopur and Cetrotide before? Xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Ladies we will be your cycle buddies  don't leave us we've all been through it so we will support you all the way   We won't let you leave us lol xx


----------



## Lottie1802

Nooooo dont break up with us!!!! 

In all seriousness I appreciate its nice to be surrounded by people going through the same experience,  but can you be forum cheats and still post in here  I want to keep up to date with you all x x


----------



## Bexter83

Cool! Thanks girlies, I'd rather stick with our own weird lot, lol  just kidding my lovelies, hehe xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Ditto, deffo prefer you ladies!

Talking of which I need info please  

What is menopur and how is it injected etc?

Just had a call from the drugs company to find out that I am now on buserilin gonal f and menopur? How lovely of the hospital to not tell me they are adding a drug! No idea what it is what it does or how you use it lol...can anyone shed any light?

I am now £1018 lighter, and no idea whats going on loool, rang the hospital and all they said is don;t worry we will tell you another time    

You lot give me more info and help then that bloody hospital - really appreciate having you guys to chat too. xxxxx


----------



## jules418

what is it they say if you don't know any weirdos that means *you * are the weirdo haa haa haa

we defo need to stay on here i shall be hopefully in feb so a late one compared to you lot with yoru january cycles hmph  
I don't want to go through it without you lot at my side sniff sniff i'm gonna cry hee hee  

Jxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

With u every step of the way Jules. We can allbe weird together lol


----------



## jules418

hi hopeful

I was on buserilin for down regging. I had 3 weeks of that I did 1 injection at 8 am every morning (but time to suit you but has to be at that time every day). I injected into my tummy. drawn an imaginary line around your tum at belly button height. I did one below that line alternately so right side, left side.  I used to grab some belly but not too tight and inject, a colder tum is best, I did one the once after hot water bottle session and it hurt like a BEEP and bled. After 3 weeks I had my lining scan, unfortunately it was not thin enough (story of my life lol) so had to DR for another week. the following week I was ok so stimms started I had to continue with the buserilin and start the menopur injections, I did both in the morning on same side of tum. 

Didn't have any gonalF whats that for? 

Ouch meds are expensive credit card is not looking forward to that battering thank god for 0% deals hey!!!


----------



## hopeful1985

My first cycle did 50 units of buserilin every 12 hours for two weeks then stimming with 300ml gonal F once a day and 25units of buserilin every 12 hours then they cancelled due to poor response just before EC. Doing all that again plus menopur this time. :/ its the lack of info driving me nuts


----------



## jules418

ohhhh sorry i read it wrong lol thought you asked about buserilin duhhh I am a div

the menopur is for stimms so maybe to give you an extra boost for eggies. you have to mix it yourself

I was on 3 vials so I pulled up the liquid from the bottle then injected all that into powder bottle #1 then pulled it all back up again did the same for each one then in it went took me about 20 mins to do the 2 injectins but soon sped up as the days went on. 

I know more from this site than i would ever have picked up at the hospital. 

Jxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Thanks Jules for enlightening me! I looked it up and apparently it contains purified urine from post menopausal women   . I wonder how many injections it will be during stimming then as i was already injecting 3 times a day.... doesnt bear thinking about. I was ok with the injections but 3 a day got me down and they were all straight forward. The gonal F was like an epi pen. Just attach needles twist and plunge. This powder malarkey sounds like a pain in the ass xxxx


----------



## Bexter83

*Jules*, we'll be here for you don't worry. I think we will all be cycling jan/February anyways so don't you worry my love!

*Hopeful*, menopur pack comes with 1 powder vial, 2x solutions and 1 needle to withdraw the solutions into the vial, also with disposable ready made needles and antiseptic wipes. Keep the plastic pack in the fridge before you make up your vial but vial once made is stored in a room below 25 degrees. I'm so ridiculous with needles, don't know why, they don't even hurt but I build up anxiety and pass out, so if I think they're ok, you will be totally fine. Menopur was ok, best thing to do is to make the vial up way before jab time (I found straight from the fridge a bit stingy). Then Emla cream 1.5 hrs before jab time and take your daily baby aspirin 30 mins prior. Wipe the area with the antiseptic wipe but take residue off with something clean (I used the top I was wearing) as I think it was the wipe which made it a bit stingy bad after doing all of this made military procedure I had, it didn't even hurt one bit, in fact I used to wonder what I even stressed about. Ok, so Like Jules says, gently pinch a bit of stomach fat (where your Emla cream was) and do your thing. You may want to alternate sides, rotate around your stomach every day. 
Buserelin you can feel nothing really and after finding this mad way, both didn't hurt a single bit and honestly I'm  Scared of needles. 
Please don't worry Hun.

Xxx


----------



## Bexter83

Jules!!! You used 3 whole vials of menopur a day? Or 3 full needles if it a day? What was your ml/dosage? 
I'm so not looking forward to it!! I'm on 450 dosage to begin with😩🔫. 
Xxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Thanks lovely xx


----------



## Bexter83

I'm already feeling sorry for the PMA stick!


----------



## hopeful1985

loool


----------



## tricia1012

Hopeful - I never had menopur before just the buserilin then gonal f , I think it's another stimulant for the follies so maybe they will switch it up between the two to see if they can get a better result this time  

Ouch with the meds bill I know I'm pregnant so I'm not complaining but I still pay £270 every two weeks for intralipids and I had to pay £600 for my gestone and steroids my bank account is wiped lol , whatever it takes though just keep thinking of the end outcome    Xx


----------



## Kazza79

Hello everyone

Sound like everyone is ready to start new year, if you start a new cycle thread how will we talk to you? Or will this one carry on in the new year? I don't want to not be there to surport you all and see you all get your BFP   

I'm having a rubbish day really tired, emotional and a big row with the OH has put me in the worst mood   going to go to bed soon just so I can hide x

Hope everyone is doing ok xxxx


----------



## tricia1012

Kazza - Aww big   Hun have a nice early night you'll feel better in the morning xx


----------



## Bexter83

Big hugs Kazza  , hope you get a good nights sleep and tomorrow's a new day and I'm sure you'll feel lots better. Xx


----------



## BeckyA

Don't worry ladies, i aint ditching this ship! Just gonna post on the new cycle buddies board as well as this one. I did the same for this cycle (was posting on this one, the wlanut whippers) and also on my old cycle buddies from may/june (the rose quartz brigade). I'm a right old two-timer!! Lol. 

Hugs *kazza*, hope you make up with OH before bedtime!

*hopeful*, i was on gonal-f 75 IU for my three IUIs, and then i've been on menopur 300 IU for both my ICSIs. They are both folicle stimulating drugs. The menopur is a bit of a faff though. But if you look on youtube there is a great video showing you exactly how to mix it up. Usually once you've mixed it up, the vials lasts for a few days (in my case 4 days as it's a vial of 1200IU) *jules*, you must have been on the smaller version.?
*bexster*, my clinic told me the other way round - that menopur is Ok out of the fridge under 25 degrees until its been mixed, then it Must be kept in the fridge?!?


----------



## poppy05

4 pages!!!!!!   omg i thought we had gone back 2 months!!!   
lovely to see lots of posts


so ive put my tree pic on, its not a great pic, but if you look closely you can see my 2nd tree in dining room shining through!!!!!   


hope you are all ok?


ive got to pop out tomorrow eve, but i'll try and get on around 8.30


lottie my beauty, sending you all my love and luck for tomorrow
i feel like crying cos i know how emotional tomorrow is going to be for you   
i cant wait to get that text!!! 


has anyone tried the coconut lindor chocolates?
omg if you havent then go and buy some right now!!!!!!
just had one in my advent calender   


right im off to watch tv before bed
catch you in chat tomorrow xxx


----------



## Bexter83

All the best for tomorrow *Lottie*, will be thinking of you. Xxx

*Poppy*, I'm so trying those chocolates, thanks for the tip!&#128521; xxx


----------



## Zana37

hello lovely girls.

I am really sorry for this long time without coming to the forum but I have been quiet busy over the past weeks.

I would like to start by saying to Chicy and Jules how said I am about their mc. I know how it feels but there is only one way to go, and it is to move forward and be strong for the next round. Be hopeful and keep the faith.

Tricia big congrats on your pregnancy with twins! That is absolutely marvelous!

Meanwhile, I had my review on the 25th of November. I pressured the doctor to do me some exams. I lot a lot of info from what you posted here on the forum. For example, poppy the things you mentioned you asked your doctor after the mc and also the questions Bexter wrote some messages ago. They were very useful! The doctor could see I knew what I was talking about, so I will do a bunch of blood tests to find out if I have any issues with my immune system, clotting or anything that could prevent the implantation. On the 2nd of December I had the first appointment at the private clinic and f everything is ok I should start a new treatment already in December when my period comes, sometime next week! After listening to all my story and looking at the past treatments he will try something new, but he wants to start by doing a very thorough check to my uterus and find out if is there anything visible to prevent implantation. He said he has a special scanning with a tinny camera for that. So I am very excited to start a new treatment. How is it going with you girls? I have been working on my homepage for my cakes. I am using wordpress and it is quite difficult and time consuming. I have celebrated my 38th birthday last Saturday and had been very busy preparing all the things for a special brunch for many girlfriends. Below is my birthday cake made by me. Yesterday I had to prepare a cake for my boy and his class, picture included too. It was a funny gravity cake with loads of m&m.

Anyone going for treatment in December too? I guess I understood that hopeful1985 is going for the dec. cycle too , right?


----------



## Zana37

My Bday cake made by me


----------



## Zana37

The cake I made for my boy and his class!


----------



## hopeful1985

Yes Zana hun, we can be in it together xxx


----------



## Bexter83

Fab cakes *Zana*!! The smooth finish on your first cake is amazing and I literately just want to stick my face in the other one and eat it all . Goodluck with your website. 
Think having tests done before next cycle is a wise move, as we all know IVF is such a big investment in terms of finance, emotion mainly and what you put your body through, that having tests to pin point areas which need more attentions nod adapt protocol/drugs accordingly could make the world of difference. 
So depending on when your period arrives, are you starting down regging next week, you think? I'm starting stimming from 1st Jan.
Oh I put my Danish heart up! And getting the Scandinavian glogg recipe to make on my birthday & Christmas!

Right so last night I was googling menopur & Cetrotide and found a ff thread/link and I'm def not leaving you girls, jeez there's some nutters out there!!

Love and baby dust to you all! Xxxx


----------



## Zana37

Good morning ladies 

*Hopful* it is great to know I will have some company in this .

*Bexter* yes definitely I will do some tests. This new doctor seems to be so different from my other one. So next week when my period comes I will call the fertility clinic and also the hospital to book the blood exams. The new doctor decided that he will move forward with the treatment if he sees no signs of wounds or any other complications caused my the miscarriage surgeries I had. He said he will not wait for the result of the blood tests because he has a preventive approach anyway. Meaning... He will give me medications along with the treatment that will prevent any issues with immune system problems or clotting. He said that since that medication has no side effects for me, that he will make sure nothing that could eventually be a problem will be on the way, rather than do what my other doctor did. My new doctor tells me that the most important is to find out if insied my uterus is there anything, a scar, a wound, or whatever, that could make that the fertilized egg would not implant.

So next week I should get the answer about that. He said some women carry on on many insiminations without results and the problem is somewhere in the uterus walls and they have no clue. Without that taken care of a pregnancy may never happen, he said. He also said that if he finds something that could be a problem he will let me know right a way and that he would never take my money if he would find an irreversible situation but that those cases are very rare and that most of the times there are treatments for these cases. So let's see...

I am really trying to get me a job but it is a bit difficult 
Oh how I wished at least an interview.... Meanwhile, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....and I want to enjoy it!


----------



## Bexter83

All sounds very positive Zana, the clinic sounds very pro active. Exciting stuff Hun!!

Don't worry about the lack of interviews either, interviews and job offers are like buses, nothing for ages and then loads all at the same time. Hang on in there. Xx


----------



## Lottie1802

Hey ladies just a quick update as im off xmas shopping 

But its twins!!!!! Two healthy heartbeats and sizes and ive been discharged 

OMG im shaking with shock


----------



## K.Notman

Morning ladies, sorry I've not been posting. I've been lurking though but super busy as usual.

*Zana*, WOW what amazing cakes- very talented! I'm sure your boy's class thought it was awesome too. It sounds like you had a very positive review meeting and that things are moving in the right direction. Having more tests done will help for the next tx to know what you might need to change in the cycle. I hope they don't keep you waiting ages between tests, results, treatment; it's so frustrating. There are a number of us looking for hopeful new years and I pray that this is your chance too.
*Lottie * CONGRATULATIONS! I just read your post before I posted. Really happy for you and super excited about twins. Have a great Christmas getting ready for an eventful New Year xxx
*Poppy*, I love your Christmas cheer! It's so nice to get cuddled up with loved ones, being grateful for all these things we have and looking to the future with open minds and hearts. We'll cherish the festivities as a distraction so the next cycle will be here before you know it.
*Becky*, it's good that you have lots of cycle buddy support. You can never have too much! It's horrible having conflicting information though and one thing I've found is that clinics do things differently and sometimes things work, sometimes they don't. We have to ask the questions and have faith in them doing what they do every day. Good luck with end of term and all the reports (been there, done that! I left teaching 3 yrs ago and haven't looked back- I still work for 2 exam boards though moderating GCSE coursework and marking exams so I'm very busy May-July!). Now you have your meds this must all seem very real again- and exciting to get back to it so soon. I wish you lots and lots and lots of luck that your little miracle will happen this time.
*Kazza *I hope you feel better after a good night's sleep. Your emotions are going to be all over the place for the next nine months so it's a case of taking yourself of to your own happy place of Zen! I think Poppy was going to keep this board running indefinitely so we can still get our support for the new year. I'm going to need lots of hand holding that's for sure! I've been so busy and not bought a single present yet. Very aware that I'm running out of time- I'm off work Christmas Eve, lol. Trying to do my online stuff this week though.
*Jules*, I'll be with you every step of the way. I'll know more after my review but I've a feeling nothing is going to start for us until February either. Understatement of the year that Slash are cooler than One Direction! As for Christmas food, if I was you I'd say that I'd already got it as it was on my list and she should freeze what she got for herself- stick to and don't mess with the lists (they are always right!). It is hard when people are stuck in traditions any you are always going to be comparing to how you'd have done things BUT it's a time of compromise and making a new way of doing things together. It'll by my first hosting MIL an Step Dad-IL too so we'll see how my stress levels go!
*Bexter *just writing all your needle procedure down just makes me so grateful that my sister did all that for me. I just wish I could do it instead and take all the pain, stress and hassle out of her day. I know she is willing to do anything for us but it's just so amazing! I've not been out running due to the winter weather either. In fact, I've not been doing my DVD's either. Just not got the motivation at the mo when I'm so busy and tired. Congratulations on the good news about the house. How did you get on with the Scratch by the way?
*Hopeful*, I'm hoping that your injections don't play on your mind too much. You can do it and you need to keep your eye on the prize! Try not to go Google mad- you could stress yourself more finding out things which conflict what you've been told or aren't even true. The advice on here is all I'm concerned about as it comes from my friends and from people who know what you're going through. Which hospital are you with? I've found (with Chixy's advice) that you have to take the bull by the horns with the hospital and ask everything and keep badgering them so you don't feel in the dark: we are people not just hospital numbers!!!! Big hugs.
*Tricia*, Wow your bills are scary! But as you say, worth every penny. We simply can't afford that which is why my next cycle being our last on the NHS is our last hope. This is already playing on my mind and I'm hoping that I don't let that cause extra stress through the cycle. How have you been coping with the OHSS? It's good to hear you had a nice carvery and got into the festive spirit.

Hi-di Hi to all other Walnut Whippers out there.

AFM, well the family are back from India! DH & I went round on Sunday for my Mum's roast (awesome!) on Sunday and saw 'the slide show' lol. It was amazing and so good to hear that they had a great time even thought I was green with envy. I've received lots of praise for my hard work running he business in Dad's absence and it's been another hectic week here as we are trying to cram a month's production into 2 and a bit weeks before the Christmas shutdown, hence my lack of posting!

Panto rehearsals are going well and I'm picking up lines and dance moves quickly. I think I over did it last night though as I've got a really sore throat today and feeling below par! So much so that I might give karate a miss tonight and keep warm and have an early night. I've got a busy weekend- Saturday is my last motorbike lesson before my road test on Monday afternoon. I don't feel ready yet but I know after 5 hours of intensive tuition I'll be fine. We'll put our decorations up Saturday night too. Sunday we have a big family gathering. We meet up for Christmas this weekend every year and have nick named it our AGM! I love it and it forces me to get my Christmas cards done and properly start Christmas!

So, the review is Monday morning (it's feels like it's been a long time coming!) and I have my questions and 'no nonsense' attitude at the ready! I'm going to listen to what they say but I'm not leaving there unless I'm happy with a way forward. DH is letting his supplements slip so I got heavy with him this morning. He needs to prioritise this as it annoys me when he is so flippant about it- it's only taking a few pills for goodness sake JUST DO IT! Grrrrrrrr I'm also really mad that he/they have still not got all of his sperm sample results together to discuss on Monday (they've had a month). The GP's aren't communicating and DH is not harassing them like I would! BUT, we'll see what next week brings.

Anyway, need to get on. Have a good day everyone PMA bashings where they are needed  . Keep calm and carry on xxxxx


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## jules418

Hi Ladies

Lottie - yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy and twins too brilliant news whoop whoop how are you feeling? 

Bexter - I'm not sure what my dosage was, 150ml rings a bell. I had 1 liquid bottle and 3 bottles with the powder tablet in per day. also kept mine out of the frisge, was told just to keep that 1 thing in the fridge for 24hrs before collection forget what it is called. 
I am wondering if I will have a higher dosage this time as although i had 9 eggs, only 2 made it to 2dt

Kazza how are you feeling today hun? 

Poppy - your tree looks lovely think I may do mine on sat see how lazy I am feeling haa haa. I have started to do my SW plan properly again now so will have to hold fire with those chocs til i have lost the 2 stone i gained since sept 6th. Want to lose as much as I can (without preventing christmas cheer) before I start on the meds again and it goes back on haahaa. 

Zana - lovely to see you back on here and those cakes look amazing, you girls are really testing my will power today haa haa. Happy to hear you had a good consulation and I must say things are definitely moving along a lot quicker for you now. The clinic sound really good and informative and that is a weight off your shoulders. I may have to look into DK clinics if next cycle isn't successful. 
Ha ha Bexter you made me laugh with your face plunging i know what you mean though, going to google glogg now.....
There are definitley some very anxious ladies out there and reading some commenst can set me on edge too. I feel we have a lovely group here full of well rounder walnut whippers hee hee. 

Kirstie, glad all is going well with the panto and work. Not long now til your review and your 2nd chance have they booked you in for consent signing yet? if not get on to the hospital and nag nag nag..... Mine is booked for 22nd Jan. Be nice to leave you some PMA in the circles by the naughty seats again haa ha. Also be lovely to be going through it together and meeting up over coffee as well as the online chats with all you lovely ladies xxxx

AFm - I am ok, but had a iffy night. there is a TMI alert coming up too. So had a good day and went the gym last night so all good. however ...... TMI TMI TMI 

DH and I have not been intimate since just before EC (begining of oct) as was told not to do anything and then had MC so obv had to wait for bleeding to stop which was sat. So anyway I hadn't felt ready to do anything and on tuesday I said shall we try tomorrow. So last night we were getting heated and I froze and then got upset, DH was wonderful and supportive and we had a cuddle we did then do the deed which was nice and I am glad we did but just wondering if this is normal as I didn't think I would be like that and it threw me a bit. 

Jules
xxx


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## Bexter83

*Lottie* again, so chuffed for you and the DH! What a year it's been for you!

*Kirstie*, you sound like one busy bee! Hope you keep that bug away, you know what you need to do. It's been a crazy lately, chasing up the hospital all the time, all of your extra curriculum activities and all the work with your family business but hopefully now your family are back and you have your review on Monday, things will calm down and you'll be cycling with us before you know it! Ha ha live the keep calm and carry on . Mine seems to be Keep calm and drink hot chocolate at the moment! Oh I have the Scratch booked for 29th Dec. xx

*Jules*, oh ok, I think your menopur pack was different to mine then. 150ml is quite low. Where you on just buserelin and menopur too? I was on 300 last time and starting on 450 next time. How many follicles did you have? I had 8 good even sized follicles but only got 4 eggs, 1 of those immature too. The amount of eggs can be from many different factors than just increasing the dosage of the stimming drug. 
Are you staying with the same hospital next time? Not long til your review Hun, be great to get some answers and a new plan. I have good feeling about 2015 for us! 
Jules don't worry about the weight gain, it will very quickly go back to your usual self. It's the hormones. The normal appetite and bloating starts to go down and after a couple of weeks the bloating and everything's gone.
The bedroom bit is nothing to worry about. Don't put a time frame on it and there is no normal in this situation. Also you've been through a seriously tough time chick and emotions are high, the intimacy thing reminds us that it's how babies are made because all these years we've all done the deed with a goal of getting pregnant from it, so it's going to be in your head which is probably why you got upset. I think long gone are the days of getting frisky for just fun! Damn it! And so bloody annoying when you get people say oh just relax and have fun,what will be will be!  You! Lol  ha ha! Anyways Hun, personally nothing was going to happen during the cycle for me, I was so sore and tender and felt like a washed up beached whale, so don't worry about it.

Xxx


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## K.Notman

Thanks Bexter.  I know it's a case of juggling life as always but sometimes I think we forget to look after ourselves.

Jules, BWH would not let me book a consent signing appointment until after my review so I don't know how you managed it!  Mind you, I've been cunning and kept the appointment we originally had on 12th Jan as well as Monday's so I'm hoping I'll be able to use that.  We'll see!  As for getting jiggy with it- you can't force these things and have to do what you want.  I'm glad your DH was understanding but I guess if he wasn't then you'd have something to say to him! ha! I didn't have that problem, but then again, I'm quite horny (esp after red wine!) so didn't take too long before getting back on the wagon!  I've never associated it with babies as my bits don't work like that so I'm a pure pleasure girl!


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## jules418

Ahh thanks girls, I was shocked as out of the two of us my drive is defo higher. Will have to give it another go this evening hee hee. I tell you what though gym and 'home gym' I was shattered this morning 

Kirstie, they booked the follow up scan, the review and the consent signing same day as MC. Maybe cos I was there, upset and it was a way for me to have something to focus on or more likely cos we are paying next round or am I just being cynical hmm !!!!!! 

I just had a lovely lunch out at the harvester mmmmmmmm diet went out the window hee hee and then i am out tonight too eeek I need to be good tomorrow was out drining for DH birthday on sat. He says I have to have a birthday jager bomb but i hate that stuff so may have to pass on that  

Ooo that reminds me I wont be on chat later as had forgot i was out tonight  Big cuddles and bum wiggles to you all though. 
       

Jxxx


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## Bexter83

*Kirstie* you little minx! 
Not long til Monday now, hope your review goes well and can't wait to hear all about it.

Lol *Jules*!!  home gym, that's hilarious! 
Ewww jagger bombs, they're nasty! You have to be drunk to drink them. Have a fab time tomorrow night for the DH's birthday, enjoy chick! Love the bum wiggles   .

Won't be able to make it in chat tonight either but enjoy .

Xxx


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## Kazza79

Hi everyone 

I'm feeling better today still really tired but much better than I did yesterday. 

Iv been off today doing the Christmas shopping booooooo God I hate doing it lol sorry I'm being a humbug lol don't get me wrong I loveeeeeee Christmas but hate the shopping before hand lol
But I'm pleased to say im 90% done yeahhhhhh the 10% left is the stuff I forgot lol   

I'm glad everyone is back and chatting like the old times it's really nice to see  

Jules- no matter what you write you always make me smile lol I'm sorry the getting jiggy was emotional but tbh you proberly needed that to happen so you can deal with it to be able to move on physically   

Bexter- I'm better today cheers hun how are you?? Xxxx

Kirstie- hi hun I'm much better today cheers hun, it's great to see your so organised and busy lol I hope you chill and unwind over Christmas xxx

Lottie- omg more twins congratulations hun that's great I feel a bit left out now lol xxx

Hello to everyone else and I Hope everyone else is ok and happy  xxxxx


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## poppy05

hi gang

just a quickie as im in a hurry

firstly i cant make chat as im going out to see friends new house, i may pop in when i get home though

secondly, lottie as you know im chuffed to bits n pieces for you both, still in shock its twins!!!!  

and thirdly jules   i still havent had sex!!! we had planned to on our weekend away, but honestly anything vagina related can take a run and jump at mo!!!   and obviousky theres two of those in this marriage!!!!   i think the drugs and mc have killed my sex drive which is normally that of a 17 year old boy!!!!!
im not bothered though and neither is dw, it will happen when it happens, im not planning it cos i know it wont work!  

anyway lots if love to all will post properly later xxxx


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## K.Notman

Morning all!
Well my throat feels like I've swallowed a bag of nails! The family remedy is gargling with diluted TCP so I smell lovely today! Good job DH is on nights this week as he can't stand it so having my bed to myself means I can gargle away! Not sure how I'm going to cope at rehearsal tonight, miming I think; I'll make up for it with my dance moves lol! (It's all so cheesy I love it!) *Jules*- I'll be wowing them with my costume we picked up in the charity shop on Saturday, ha ha ha!

Have a good day everyone and a great weekend. Don't let Christmas preparations stress you out. We are putting our tree up on Saturday and I'm doing online shopping today. "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....."
Kirst xxx


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## jules418

OMG I am soooo excited I could pee........ Dh's friend has 2 tickets for war of the worlds they can no longer go to and said I can have them for freeeeeeeee yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I was gutted i couldn't go as tickets cost nearly £80 ouch and now I can yay yay yay defo bum wiggle    

I also have a slight hang over but excitement is keeping me buzzing haa haa 

Kazza, I don't mind the christmas shopping it is the christmas shoppers that annoy me, people are so inconsiderate and have that 'got to be 1st' attitude makes me grumpy and I don't like being grumpy hee hee I like to moan but that is different haa haa. I am nearly done though i just need to get mom sis and grandad something. I know what i am getting grandad going to do him a M&S selection basket of yummy food items. he has Alzheimer's so not interested in 'normal' gifts like books dvd's etc. he loves puzzles and eating and beer lol sounds like me  

Bexter - I am defo not having a jager bomb I feel rough today after just a few glasses of wine I am so not ready for the hard stuff, decided to go with vodka lime and soda and have long drinks broken up with glasses of water. I would like gin but i don't want to start crying everywhere lol 

Kirstie - love that shirt hee he bargain, boo for being porrly though - you will have to have a sign around your neck saying Strict voice rest like they do on xfactor. Can't imagine you will find that easy though hee hee. Eugh I hate tcp. Do you remember that episode of 'one foot in the grave' where victor smelt of TCP and when the car attendant went to get his car he boughtthe wrong one as it had TCP in the number plate haa haa funny. 

Lottie, Tricia - how are you both and your twinnies, hope you are resting lots!!!!!   

Poppy - did you have a good night last night, I love nosing when a friend moves house although i am then stuck on rightmove the following day !!!! I know what you mean about being ready. I thought I was but I now think I was pushing it as everyone says am really fertile I am glad I got it out the way though ....... I am sooo romantic haa haa. 

BeckyA - I wa sgoing to take a piccie of the wine last night for you but couldn't get good shot,  as red wine is now associated with you hee hee. 

Love to all of you I've not mentioned. Hope you are having magical friday's and wounderous weekends. 

Remember stay calm in a world of crazy shoppers  

Jules
xxxxx


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## hopeful1985

you ladies make me laugh! Love checking in , keeps me going.

Thank you so much for the advice ladies. I am at Croydon University Hospital for those who asked, my treatment centre was the bridge Centre in London however they have now closed for a refurb over christmas and new years so my donor sperm is currently being moved to the women's centre, london,

Wowee another set of twins in the group! Congrats Ladies - that baby dust must really have worked!

Hope all the BFPs are feeling well and healthy!

I am trying to work out christmas pressies at the min and am getting nowhere! What are you guys getting your other halves? need inspiration.

xxx


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## Kazza79

Hi all and happy Friday 

Jules- I know what you mean about the Christmas shoppers lol it's a joke in some shops and you just get pushed around,  madness   

So it's time we put the decs up as the kids want the tree up we normally get a real tree but have bought a fake this year as we have just done the lounge up and I don't want needles stuck in my nice new thick carpet lol so I think I will get a real one for the dinning room as I can sweep the mess off the tiles   but I do like the real tre smell lol 

Has anyone got dates to start their next cycles?  

Hope everyone is having a good weekend xxxx


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## Lottie1802

Hey ladies

Thanks for all the lovely messages as always 

Jules I'm ok, just so tired , enjoy war of the worlds! I'm jealous you've been drinking, I forgot I wouldn't be able to drink over chrimbo lol and don't worry about sex, it's a funny time and you will get through it  

K.notman I feel your pain, my throat is killing me  don't you just love the winter!

Hopeful glad you are still laughing  and as for ideas on pressies I'm stumped , hubbies birthday is Sunday and I didn't get him anything really ! Nice watch engraved? Is he into gadgets?

Poppy , my tree is up , pressies are wrapped , I'm feeling very Christmassy ! I hope you are well!

Tricia my cycle/twin/everything buddy ha ha , hope you are looking after yourself at work !

Kazza don't feel left out I have been racking my brains how we are going to afford two of everything lol  

Bexter how you getting on? How's that job going ? 

AFM , I'm shattered , I feel worn out and not baby related lol just been working in store yawn , Hubby is bouncing off the walls , two for the price of one he is chuffed !  Scan all booked for xmas eve so we can tell our families xmas day ! 
Well xmas has started in my house decs up pressies wrapped , and more importantly I brought a cheese board today !
We are celebrating hubbies birthday Sunday so I have a house full of cupcakes woohoo!


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## Kazza79

Lottie- you have your 12 week scan booked already omg lol I haven't even heard from the midwife yet lol I called my dr earlier and they just said it's been referred !!!! 
Not really sure what I should do next xxx


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## Lottie1802

Kazza that's not my twelve week, I'll only be ten weeks so we are paying for a private scan to check everything before we tell anyone   Don't panic the NHS take a lifetime to do most things , we have been referred but not heard yet x


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## Kazza79

Lottie- ah ok I was wondering why I'm so behind lol im sure the gp said I have to have bloods done between 8-10 weeks so they need to hurry up anyway lol it's mad I can't remember much from my other pregnancy they seem such a long time ago xxx


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## jules418

Morning ladies, ooo very quiet over the weekend hope you all had lots of exciting christamassy things planned. 

I had a lovely weekend, saw war of the worlds on fri night which was BRILLIANT, loved it , I really love that music. Some right weridos there though and at one point i nearly fell over from laughing so hard. Yes I am evil  

Sat we went out for DH's birthday and had a lovely night too much to drink though whoops, felt a bit delicate on sunday but not as bad as anticipated lol 

Back to work now boooooooooooo totally need to win lotto....ok totally need to play lotto to win lotto haa haa or have a generous friend win it haa haa. 

I have been looking in to IVF abroad over the weekend and doing some sums and although it is slightly cheaper I think I would get stressed out with the the last minute booking etc. especially as last cycle I had an extra week on DR and extra couple of days of stims. 

it is just all so confusing and don't know what to do for the best which is also not totally mental on the pocket

Love to all

Jules
xxx


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## Bexter83

Hi ladies,

Hope your all well .

Hope your feeling much better now *Lottie* .

*Jules*, sounds like a fab weekend! Glad you had a great time at war of the worlds show&#128515;. Sounds like detox time for us both then! I've drank too much and am due some early nights, been partying getting in at 9am few nights in a row, so going to be good now. 
I looked into IVF abroad but now knowing what it's like, personally I think paying for the flights, accommodation and paying for eating out all the time etc, I can't see it saving that much money. Also, it's scary enough as it is, let alone being in a foreign country not being able to communicate with everyone. I don't know but I don't think getting on a plane, is the best idea, your not allowed to carry anything heavy (suitcases etc). Each to their own but I wouldn't. Xxx


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## jules418

Yeah that is what DH was saying and once you calculate the spending money we wouldn't be saving anything although do get a trip to a stange place lol. He wasn't keen but i needed to investiigate otherwise I would be what if. I think if it was a vast saving like a few grand then I would consider it. but it would be a few hundred pounds (which would then be spent on taxi and food) 

Birmingham womens has the 2nd highest preg success rate in the midlands for my age group although the actual births record is about 5th not sure why that would be but it is on my questions for my review. 

Question for all you lovely ladies. The hcg beta blood tests after ET, how often are they done and are they done at the clinic? not sure BW do those (again on the Q&A list) so looking to see if anywhere local does something similar that we can pay for. I don't know why but I really feel it is progesterone issue and although they gave me the bum bullets i don't think it was enough. 

9AM !!!!!! dear lord I am tired just thinking of that haa haa. Said to DH this morning we will have to start going to bed earlier as can't get up in the mronings, he is supposed to be riding his bike to work but getting up late so getting the train. Told him that is IVF money he is spending so now he feels guilty. I am a horrible person (haaa haa haaaaaaaa evil laugh) 

Jxxx


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## Bexter83

It's good that you've calculated it and weighing it up to see if it suits your lifestyle. I think before going through it, you think your able to enjoy the trip and make a holiday out of it at the same time, however, the reality is that your unlikely to relax, your mind is pre occupied and not really relaxed to be able to enjoy it. Also you may not want to use up yours and your hubby's holiday for that too. You know that when your at home you can cook healthy food and keep on a tight budget but when your away it's hard to do that. 

I didn't have the HCG blood test after ET, what is it? You can ask for more progesterone pessaries (maybe 3x a day) before going straight in for the jabs. Oh man, anymore who has those are brave! I had a dream about the jabs last week.

Yeah I'm shattered and only got and out 3hrs sleep each of those days too and then was woken up at 05:45 this am to take the hubby to the station, I'm ok though, I'm hardcore, lol  .

It's quite fun to go on a mega saving plan (ok I'm quite sad) but when you have something big and important to save up for, you make it work. Jules, what about going through loads of your stuff and seeing what you can eBay? That could bring in some saving money, plus get rid of unwanted or unused things. Set yourself food shopping budget etc.. You can never get time back but you can always earn more money. Go for it Hun. Go to a clinic/hospital which makes you feel the most relaxed and when your holding your baby/babies you'll never look back. 

Xxx


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## jules418

That is a good way to look at it, I definitley have lots of 'stuff' not sure i can ebay it cost more in P&P haa haa but defo going to put to one side for carboot season. it is amazing what people will buy i remember one year someone bought my grandad ancient leather sandles for 50p haa haa. 

I do budget I have a 12 mth budget plan in excel (I love lists and spreedsheets) yes I am sad haa haa. but this time of year the savings dipping starts so need to get strict come january, of course this is also the time where things go wrong around the house grrrrr. My folks have very kindly offered to help us out withIVF costs which is lovely, I know they are just as eager for grand children as we are for children. My sister doesn't want any but will be a fantastic auntie. 

We get our replacement porch 1st week of january so lets hope it is a year for new things. 

I have only ready about the blood tests NHS don't do them at least they dont at BW not sure if they do for private patients. also been looking on the net to see of other places I can get the bloods done. I need to have a plan mannnn. Poppy had them I think and saw the drop in progesterone levels, wondering to ask for gestone from the get go..... See how i get myself wound up, i'll be fine after the review...she says.... 

My diet is horrendous I have gotten soooooooo fat  I am still having my greens but the stuff that goes with those greens and my snackingis shocking. Lots of christmas partied too eeeeek. May go back tio my herbal life diet for a bit and then not feel so guilty for indulging in the evenings. hmmmm now where is that choccie bicccie hee hee.


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## Bexter83

Ha ha we must both be sad, love a list and spreadsheet! You could do one of those Blue Peter fundometres, every bit saved, every bit earned it goes up and up! Boot sales have to be the funniest things ever  , every time we've done one, we both have an item which we think we can't give away but it still goes. You get people trying on clothes and shoes which blatantly don't fit and you end up in a moral dilemma when they ask you if it looks ok and you end up saying yeah it looks great!  . One time I went with a friend and his daughter and I put my best items on both ends of the clothes rail to entice people and I had this quite expensive crepe/silk dress which I thought was the best thing there. It all went a bit quiet, so me and the daughter went to get a cup of tea & a hot chocolate. We came back, got a bit windy and the the clothes rail was shaking, things started falling off and this dress literately gets blown in my friends daughters face and lands in her hot chocolate. It was so funny but I was secretly crying inside   . 
With eBay you keep the price of the item and the postage price desperate, so you won't lose money. Best to try to sell on eBay first, as likely to get more money for it and whatever's left, bootsale it. 


That's lovely of your parents  , I think you'll be giving them grandchildren next year....exciting stuff!! 


Maybe talk to Poppy about that blood test, I'm not familiar with it.


I'm sure you look fine Hun, keep healthy, portion control, it will drop off. Xxxx


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## poppy05

hi girls

im on my phone so im sorry for the short post

i wanted to reply to jules
hunni please please PLEASE demand gestone from the start!! like tou ive always had a gut feeling about progesterone being my issue, and its taken a 2nd miscarriage ro prove me right, please dont risk having a 3rd one babe, gestone wont hurt you (well it will cos the needle is massive!!  ) its your body and your money, please dont be fobbed off, i was on double cyclogest, 4 a day, they worked fine until implantation, i was given gestone once i started bleeding, too late!! 
i had my progesterone levels checked after ec and et and after positive pg test
also ask about immune testing and clotting issues, ask for your thyroid to be checked, full blood count, and if you want to you can have chromosome testing for you and dh
they will realise by mentioning these tests that you know what your talking about, if you come out feeling anything less than satisfied then get a 2nd opinion, please dont go again until you are 100% comfortable with everything  

hope you are all ok, sorry ive not been about much, im ok just a bit fed up, im waiting for af now, due on today, i know its coming cos my mood has been horrendous today, but im still feeling some pg symtoms and i just want them to go, i find it upsetting to feel like this and know theres nothing there   i still dont feel i should be drinking alcohol, still not had sex, and my tummy is huge!!!!!!! so im just feeling a bit meh right now
but im alright, im getting far to excited about christmas, im ready for it now, all my shopping is finished!!  

love to you all   catch up wed in chat hopefully xx


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## jules418

Poppy, thanks for that advise defo saying all of that xxx 
One for you..... 
Channel 5 10pm Wednesday tv show called 'my Christmas obsession ' lol

Xxxx


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## K.Notman

Good morning everyone.  Sorry I’ve not been on recently.  I’ll catch up on personals later.  
Yesterday we had our review appointment and they gave us the devastating news that they will not let us use Megan (my little sister) as a donor again. They were not happy with the way she responded to the stimulation drugs (she has a low AMH and was on the highest dose) and they put the failed cycle down to her eggs.  As we have one more cycle paid for on the NHS, they want us to use an unknown egg donor to increase the likelihood of success.  Unfortunately the waiting list is 18 months.  It is such a blow when we have spent the last 24-18 months preparing for this and it’s the end of me being able to use family genes.  We both knew this was a possibility so had prepared ourselves for this outcome so I took it quite well yesterday.  As I've said to you before, it is God's will and we are accepting what path he has chosen for us in faith. I know I'll have some emotional days though.  It's not helped by DH’s step-sister announcing her 12 week pregnancy last week (this would have been the same as me pretty much).  We are happy for them of course but it's only human to feel jealous. 

So we are trying to use this time to heal and focus on our lives.  DH got a promotion at work which is fantastic.  We are hoping to get a house of our own in this area rather than renting so we can prepare a new home for the new arrival.  We are going to book a really good summer holiday and generally keep happy and healthy.  We are trying to focus on the positives as always.  My uterus was good at the time of transfer and they do not see any reason why the next cycle wouldn't work.  DH will stop his supplements until it becomes relevant again.  They have specifically asked him to reduce his BMI from 33 to 30 but he has plenty of time to work on that!  
I asked about the scratch and I was advised against it as it could affect getting my lining to the correct thickness but she said that embryo glue was a possibility.  As far as my other general questions about medication, none of it is relevant now.  I have to see my GP to get prescribed regular HRT for a year and then it’s square one again.  Jeez, just writing that I’m in floods of tears.
You guys will have to excuse me if I make myself scarce for a bit but I am still praying for you all. You all deserve to be Mummies.  Thank you so much for your support, I’m very grateful. 

Kirstie xxx


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## jules418

Oh kirstie     as I said I am here for you any time
It is devestating news and the wait time is soooo long, It will howvere fly by but you only realise that when you get to that point not on the run up to it. So that isn't  comforting thing to say sorry (slapped my face) 
It is good news that your uterus is in good shape and a positive out of the news your received.

A good holiday in the sun shine and focusing on yourselves is a great plan of action and will be quite empowering not being in limbo life is on hold land. 

How did your sister take the news? as this highlighted any fertility issues she may have? 

Totally understand you wanting to be scarce for a bit but polease don't leave us forever e all love you lods and want to be able to support you through this on our own weird walnut whipper way. 
   

Looking forward to giving you a BIG JUE BEAR HUG on Saturday. You may want to pre warn your ribs!!!!! 

How is everyone else all very quiet after last weeks spurt. 

Jules
xxxxxxxxx


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## K.Notman

Hey Jules- Looking forward to the hugs on Saturday (and a yummy meal!).
My sister hasn't taken it well at all.  We knew that using her was reducing our chance of success but we did manage 6 eggs and it was all worth a shot to keep my family genes.  The consultant just said that the quality was an issue and that making her go through the meds again could have adverse effects on her future fertility.  So there is no way we'd ever want to put her in harms way so completely agree with the decision.  My sister blames herself though and feels she's let us down so is very upset.  This of course is not the case and she has done more for us than I could ever imagine. I tried calming her down explaining that it just wasn't meant to be and we came into this journey accepting whatever happened.  We went through all of this in the counselling before we started but now it's happened, it's a lot to accept.  I know she just needs time (and hugs!).


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## BeckyA

Quickie as i have to get back to work now, but couldn't read and run without sending a  to *kirstie*. X


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## Bexter83

Kirstie my love, I'm saddened by your news, I'm really sorry hun   . I'm sending you lots of love and hugs. 
Keep strong and take some some comfort that no matter what you will have your own family one day. It's a journey which must have brought you and your sister even closer and when this pain passes, these hard times you've both had to go through will be precious. 
This pain will pass and knowing you have a future plan in place with high hopes too will slowly let you enjoy this time in between to remember what it's like to be Kirstie again. So just remind yourself that you have a good baby palace in their and you'll be able have a successful cycle. It sounds like you have a very good chance next time. Stay strong and focus on  Christmas, your panto, all your fab activities such as your karate to focus on, a health plan for you and the DH and a lovely summer holiday to get excited about. Your also very proactive and not a push over, you have the ability to push the hospital to get you in there earlier. 
We're all here for you Hun xxxx


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## K.Notman

Thanks guys, I really need the support at the moment.
I'm in work and have work to do but seem to keep drifting off, just letting everything pass me by as if I'm in a dream.  I really want to hibernate! 
I had a little look at donor egg stuff and it just freaked me out.  Money time money time money time money time it's all too much and I just burst into tears.
I try to snap myself out of it and talk sense to myself saying that all this is not helping but I just feel lost.


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## Bexter83

Hunny I know    , it's so flipping hard and testing. See if you can go outside for 5 mins to get some fresh air, take some deep breaths, have a cry if you need too, come back in and make a cup of tea and just tell yourself that everything will be fine, it will work out, this is a test/challenge your given right now.  I promise that good will come out of this Kirstie ok and we're all here to support you. 
Your going to feel lost right now and bombarded with so much info when you look into all the options because you've just had your review and it's hard to take it all in. Things will soon become clear and everyday you'll feel better. Xxx


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## jules418

Kirstie - you are allowed to feel lost and scared and angry and upset and sorry for yourself and all the other emotions you will go though over the next few days, weeks or months, there is no right or wrong way to feel and yes we all try to stay strong and look on the bright side but sometimes we can't or don't want to. We are allowed to be 'down in the dumps' and that is why this group is so amazing as it is allowed and the help and support is also here to build us back up again through rough times and exciting times. 

Don't think about the cost of things just yet, I know it is a massive wait time , the cost side of things will be covered on the NHS. Look at nice holidays instead and golden beaches, google is a mine field of information most of which is conflicting. Now is not the best time to be looking for answers as your mind is not in a rational place. 

   

Jxxx


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## K.Notman

Just made my cup of tea Bexter!


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## Kazza79

Kirsty- I'm so sorry you didn't get the results you wanted hun but you will still get there in the end ,it might just be a different path you need to take. You are such an amazing person and deserve to reach you goal and you will hun   Xxxx


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## Bexter83

Good stuff Kirstie , hope you feel better after your cuppa .

I was just thinking about what the doctor said about your sisters AMH and how she responded to the stims. I'm wondering if a different protocol could stimulate her eggs more? I only got 4 eggs and my AMH is fairly low 16.5 and am only 30 years old but when the consultant went through the possibilities as to why my cycle was unsuccessful, all the factors made sense and discussed changes for our next cycle. It isn't always about going on the highest dose of a drug, it could be down to a different protocol which your sister could respond better too. 
Anyways, don't feel you need to think about all this yet, as you've only just had yiur review but when your ready it could be worth getting a one off consultation somewhere just to see what the possibilities are.
Thinking of you Hun  . Xxx


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## hopeful1985

So sorry for ur disappointment Kirstie... let us lift ur spirits and support you like you have done for all of us. I know your posta have kept me going. U are an amazing woman and will be a fantastic mummy. Keep strong xxxxxx


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## tricia1012

Hello ladies, 

Firstly I'm sorry for being MIA I've just been so tired after work lately I just fall asleep I haven't had much time for myself every day off I've spent in hospital , I have been thinking about you all though and I will catch up on personals later as i need to have a read through but ... 

Kirstie - I just had to send you some massive   I'm sorry you didn't get the news you wanted I know this journey can be such a hard long one but I truly believe things happen for a reason , and as the others have said you are an amazing women and you and your hubby will make amazing parents . It will happen !!! many a time I cried myself to sleep so I completley understand how upsetting it can be . When we were doing nhs I've I had to leave 6 months minimum between cycles and it used to make me so frustrated but time really does go quickly it took me 5 years to get here but it feels like yesterday when it all started . I understand you might not be on here much but just know we're all here for you whenever you need us , you know we love a chat  xxx

So Christmas is just around the corner  scary ! I haven't done a thing I'm so unorganised . How are all the rest of you lovely ladies getting on? Xx


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## Bexter83

Hope your feeling better today Kirstie  Xxx


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## Zana37

Good Morning Ladies!

SO it has been some days since I last wrote but have been quiet busy.

*Lottie* Congrats on the twins! Really great news 

*Kristie* I am really sorry about the eggs issue with your sister and for the waiting list with doners' eggs. However, remember something... If only we could see the future... I strongly believe there's a purpose for everything happening in our lives and for sure there's a reason why it should not be her egg but an egg. Make this 18 month period a time for renewal for you and your hubby and not a waiting time! Maybe a goal for a wonderful Holliday and a house searching. 
You commented on my cakes. Girls, less then a year ago I could not bake. I had no understanding whatsoever of cake decorating. After my MC I was feeling completely lost in sadness. I was really close to a breakdown and depression. Then a girlfriend asked me to bake a cake to her newborn christening. I really couldn't understand why she wanted my cake. Yes I baked her once a cake for a baby shower but it was just an average cake with nothing special on it. She insisted and I decided to take a decoration course. Then a miracle happened in those 3 hours I was there. Not for a minute could I think about the MC or about how I almost lost my life after MC complications. During those hours all I could think was about learning the different techniques about sugar past. I decided to enroll in another course, and another one and so on... It became my therapy  And today less than a year I have taken nearly 30 courses. I have improved every single aspect from baking to cake decorating. I found out I had hidden talents I never knew about. I have seen so much happiness in the faces of those I delivered wedding cakes, Christening and baptism cakes, baby shower cakes... The emotional reward has been huge for me! The other day I was actually thinking, how on earth did I find out about this talent? Then the answer came slowly to my mind... Through a very painful period in my life...through my MC. This past year has been a mix of happiness and tears. I wish I could have found the love for baking through happiness but that's not how life works. The rainbow only comes out after the rain. If you ask me if I would change things my answer would be a shy, no! I would not change a thing. The pain helped me to grow spiritually. It helped me to mature and to be a better person, better wife and better mother to my beloved bonus son. I know that for sure. I hope all of us one day will be able to meet one day and have along our babies and I know that we will remember the difficult days we are living now as a necessary step to achieve greatness. But we cannot see the future. We can only enjoy the nice view once we are on the top of the mountain and the way up is a painful one. But the reward is huge....
Kristie trust God in what he is doing. maybe there is a reason not to have the same genes of the family. Think if one day you have a baby girl. What if the chances of your baby girl having or developing ovary problems are bigger due to genetic material? What if this will avoid her to be in this same situation you are in today, one day? I was researching about donation of eggs and I was amazed to find out they run several genetic tests to the doners. That is great! All I can hope is that one day you will be telling us you are expecting a baby! That day will be a great one!

So... a little update on me! I went yesterday for the first scanning as my period came on Monday. The doctor checked my ovaries and said that it looked very fine so we started the treatment. I am on Menopur 400ml since last night and will continue until next Monday. Sunday and Monday I will also be on 0,25 of Orgalutran. This time the treatment seems to be stronger than any other I have done. But I am still on the short treatment. Monday I will be doing the uterine scanning with a little camera to see if everything is ok with the lining. Tomorrow I will be doing all the blood exams *Poppy* just mentioned, immunity, clotting, etc... 
I hope this time is the time when something will happen! Let's see... If all goes well very likely Friday next week I will have my eggs taken.

*Hopful* have you started your treatment/medication too?

Kristie you spoke about scratching of the lining and glue for the egg. Have anyone here tried that?


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## hopeful1985

Morning Zana. What a lovely post. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Even if that reason is not always clear. I start DR on 16th hun. All my drugs arrived yest. Nearly throttled DH as he collected meds from me at work at 4.30pm. I got home at 6pm and they werent in fridge and he had forgotten and left them in the car! Thank god it was a chilly day. Was sooo angry at him. We are ok now but i def could of hit him loool £1000 worth of drugs the div loool


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## jules418

Zana, that is truely a beautiful post and bought tears to my eyes (although they weren't far away) 

You now have me looking at rainbow pictures and they are so beautiful. I am glad that you are nearing the  top of your mountain and the view will be amazing. 

I feel like i have fallen over a cliff and smashed my face on every rock. I have to admit I am feeling very low at the moment I can't stop crying (this is sooo not me) I then feel guilty for feeling so sad as I will hopefully get to start treatment again in the new year, I was feeling positive about it but this week I have crashed. It is like my brain has switched off and I can't think. I don't know what grocery's to buy what to have for tea what i want to do anything I am just glum. I hate this as I am such a happy person normally. Even christmas stuff isn't lifting me I just think I can't be bothered to do the tree. 

Sorry for the downer I just needed to get it out. One thing I have learnt from all this is how much I truely love my husband, I mean I know I did but now I KNOW I do and how my chest bursts when I think of him and how strong he is being for me, makes me a cup of tea when he doesn't know how to comfort me. Last night I was miserable (must be loads of fun for him..not) he made me a cup of tea and that didn't work he walked in with abowl of ice cream and it made me happy. 

If all else fails then I know that we will be fine walking hand in hand tackling the world together growing old together like that film UP. Love that film. 

hope you are all ok

jules
xxxx


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## Bexter83

Beautiful message *Zana* xxx wishing you all the very best thus cycle, please do keep in touch and let us know how your getting on.

*Hopeful*, what are men like!? I think this is why women are left with this responsibility, could you imagine letting us leave these jabs to the guys. I think God thought this one through!

*Jules* my love, going to send you some bum wiggles   and then bexters mood busting cure is a cup of tea will help . Sending you hugs . Don't feel guilty for feeling like this, just try your best to be around things which make you feel better, nothing negative. I don't know what it is exactly but I've felt the same since Monday but unsure if it's because that was the first day of taking the pill, to start next cycle but instead of feeling strong and ok, kinda feel uneasy and sicky too, even the thought of anything sweet us just wrong to me, I just want to eat cheese and salty crisps but I don't really have an appetite either. Weird! Anyways, maybe we should remind ourselves that we will reach our dreams and all will be ok . Xxx


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## Bexter83

Hey Jules, hope your feeling a bit better now. Having a few low days and crying it out can sometimes make you feel like you've released all that heavy feeling. 
I have a couple if messages for you to help you feel like you will get there and one to make you laugh. Ps, bum wiggles


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## Bexter83

We will not be defeated!!


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## jules418

Bexter thank you babe appreciate it and I do feel better tonight xxxx 

You ok?? Xx


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## Bexter83

That's good to hear Jules, keep smiling . Yep I'm ok thanks, feeling bit better myself too. Xxx


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies, another picture for everyone   xxxxx


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## jules418

aww bexter you are lovely  

how is your christmas plant? My mom has bought me a poinsetta and I am hoping it will last til christmas day haa haa. 

Tree is going up tonight, I have decided, got our review this afternoon so will doi it when get in and then re org  the house to christmas mode (seh says... watch this space for the oh i didn't do it post tomorrow haa haa) 

Got a busy indulgent weekend planned. Works Christmas party on friday night with my beautiful golden sparkley shoes (thanks poppy), then saturday christmas luncheon with the beautiful Kirstie and Chixy (hoping i wont be  too hung over) then sunday a christmas lunch with my sis her DH and  my inherited little sis (best mate but like a little sister) and her gorg fella and obv my gog fella too  

Hope you are all well. I am feeling a lot brighter today although have a mother of headaches booooooo, lots of water and tea on the go glug glug. 

bum wiggles and walnut whips to you all.    

Jxxx


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## Bexter83

Jules, it's still has leaves on it! I cannot believe it! 
We had a guy taking pictures and doing the floor plan the other day and he was taking all my Christmas decorations down then attempted to put them back after and Im looking around after and really wonder what goes on in peoples heads! How can he honestly think this was how it looked before!?! And what if I actually did have a tree up!? Was I supposed to walk it outside? God some people are just annoying! And I've got a real thing about hygiene and mess and he put my tea towels on the floor, like I'm going to hang back up tea towels and dry dishes up after they've been 
on the floor! Rant over, lol . Wow these pills are strong! They are totally messing with me, I can't even eat everything, I feel a bit icky. Good thing is though, although never really had a sweet tooth anyway, if it carries on like this, I may even lose weight over Christmas, think that's unheard of! Ha ha

Good idea, after your review you can get stuck into doing your tree and enjoy it. I felt loads better after my review, so hopefully you will too. Hope it goes well Hun and looking forward to hearing what they say.

Wow!! That is action packed!! Sounds great though, just what you need. Have loads of fun and wish I were there to meet Kirstie & Chixy, send my love to them (if their not on here before). All sounds very nice chicky.    

My friend recommended I get the flu jab next week, before start next cycle. I had the flu jab in 2008 (free at work) and literately 1 year later I got the flu. Only had the flu twice in my life (v different to a cold) and I wondered if when the year is over, if your more susceptible to the flu after? My concern is that I don't really catch stuff easily anyway but am going onto steroids next cycle which lowers your immune system. Anyone have any views on this? 

Hope everyone is well and thinking if you all.


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## jules418

Hi Ladies - hope all is ok with you all and you have a nice wekeend organised. 

Well had the review yesterday and it was ok. 
We are going again next year at Birmingham Womens, consultant was really nice and thorough. Said eggs weren't of great quality but nothing to be alarmed by. I had 2 grade 3 and 3 grade 2, they transfered the two grade 3's. She just said to concentrate on losing some weight but said to wait til after xmas which was nice of her haa haa, although in all seriousness I need to start watching what i eat think I had 5 mince pies the other day and we had chippy after review. 
I have consent signing on 22nd Jan and will go ahead with DR on day 21 of that cycle. I asked if I was on day 3 or for on singing day would i have to wait until the cycle after and she said no. She also suggested the scratch. I want to do some reasearch on this though as I don't think implantation is my issue...she says with no medical knowledge lol.
We discussed progesterone, she has said will up my pesseries and also is happy to precribe gestone (warned it hurt but knew that from you guys) and clexane but not sure what that is so need to research that too. I was happy enough with the whole IVF process and I got a BFP so I just said I really wanted to focus on the MC prevention. 

I think that was it but you do forget loads, but that was the ball park of the conversation. Oh she also said to get GP to run full blood test and thyroid function test. So will phone them up in a mo. She said she doesn't think I need any of the other tests but said I wanted them I woudl need to go to a private clinic as BW don't offer it but said she thought it would be money down the drain. I had to appreciate her honesty. I asked about the blood monitoring and they don't do that so I may look in to that else where I know costs are not cheap for that though and every other day for 3 weeks is alot....what are your thoughts on this? 

Hope all is well

Jules
xxxx


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## K.Notman

Morning all!
Thanks Bexter for your lovely inspirational images. Zana, your words of encouragement are very much appreciated.  I know what you are saying and my rational side agrees completely.  It's just that my emotions are steering at the moment and all logic and reasoning goes out of the window!
Thank you everyone for your support as always, what would we do without out walnut whippers?!
I'm still in the stages of acceptance but I'm getting there.  I know I have a hell of a lot of things to be grateful for in my life and my faith keeps me going that this is all the way it needs to be.

I'm throwing myself into all the things I've gt to do (believe me I have a huge list!) and taking it one day at a time.
I hope everyone is enjoying Christmas preparations and not getting too stressed.  We came into some luck with my DH and his brother winning a 10 person turkey at the pub quiz so that's one less thing to buy!

Love hugs and bum wiggles to you all xxx


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## BeckyA

Just a quickie ladies to say hello. I am up to my eyes in final term reports, there are 650 to look at (the teachers do them and I correct them as they are in Spanish!), and then one more week to go before I fly back to the Motherland for Xmas.  

This weekend half exciting half not. Tomorrow I am examining for University of 
Cambridge all day, but on Sunday DH and I will have our Xmas meal as he cant come over to the UK due to work. Roast turkey with all the trimmings. We have martini, gluhwein, a lovely reserva rioja, and some orange baileys....gonna be rolling on the floor by the end of it!!

Hope you all have lovely weekends!


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## Bexter83

Hi ladies,

It's all gone a little bit quiet on here, few tumble weed moments, lol!
How is everyone?

*Jules*, it sounds positive Hun. I think because there's so many factors in which why things happen in each cycle, there's not always 1 clear answered to why things didn't go to plan but it sounds like their addressing all the possibilities for next time (covering all areas). Well done you for pushing for gestone too, your v brave and will be supporting you with bum wiggles . So you really don't have long til next cycle! Yay, I think this is our year Hun, I really do! 
Im going back to the same place for my blood and scan monitoring because it's where I went before and they are a satellite clinic for the lab, so they do all the organising etc of it. If you are able to use a different place to do the bloods and scan monitoring, I'd just advise that you go somewhere easily accessible to either your home or work but mainly who will correspond quickly with Birmingham womens, incase you need new drugs or more because you need to up the dosage etc from assessing the results. You don't need the stress of chasing both parties up.
You know your food and are v healthy but I know this time of year is difficult to be good with all the social events involving food and drink. Just try your best to be good when you can. You love your greens, so double up on that and reduce other portions size the carbs etc, so your plate still looks full, tricking your mind. Also slimline G&T and vodka fresh lime & soda are low calorie alcoholic beverages. 
Enjoy this time though, you deserve to have lots of smiles .

Good going *Kirstie*! Christmas dinner at yours&#128540;. I know it's hard and emotional hun , you can always let off any steam or tears with us. You will get there, even though the path is rocky and exhausting. Your doing amazing though. Xx

Xxxx


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## Lottie1802

Hey ladies just wanted to pop by and say hello! Sorry I haven't been on in. A while , but hectic with work and Christmas socialising ...I shouldn't complain I'm not usually allowed out lol

Jules great to hear your getting organised to go again , can't wait for you to get what you deserve! Keep that sense of humour up Luvvy  

Kirstie , well done on the turkey win! Every little helps  I'm still not ready for xmas !!! I am so un organised this year  

Bexter how are you getting on chick  x

AFM off out tonight to our friends annual Christmas jumper party ! I'm so tired all I want to do is nap so I think I'm going to try and squeeze a little sleep in before I go or I'll be a grouch ;-) 
I purchased another xmas present today so we're getting there slowly, but no doubt it will still be a mad rush the last few days 

Thinking of each and everyone of you


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## Bexter83

Hi Lottie

I'm ok thanks Hun, am just bit tired and last night, don't know why but I was in bed trying to sleep and the fear of the needles and all of the emotion really hit me and was thinking maybe not to do it, wait but then can't avoid the process, then thinking to even not have children, then telling myself I'm being ridiculous but was just feeling abit tired I think. Good better b!?#dy come out of this! 

How was your annual Christmas jumper party?

Hope we can meet up for tea & cake again soon. Xxx


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## K.Notman

Morning ladies.
I'm glad to report I'm feeling a bit more like myself today (I was in a dark place last week).
I met up with Jules on Saturday for a lovely lunch (sorry to Chixy who was too poorly to join us- Get well soon chick!).  We put the world to rights again, thanks sweetheart.  The hugs were amazing!
I went on a karate course yesterday morning (still aching today!) and managed to make good progress with making the panto scenery (did I forget to mention that I do all that too!) then had the panto Christmas meal at the local curry house. YUMMY!
Today I seem more tuned in with what I need to do to get through the next three weeks.  That's all I'm bothered about for now and then January is a new year and a new focus will come.

I hope everyone is looking after themselves with all this illness around.  Keep posting everyone, I'm still routing for you all so please keep in touch.

Lots of love.  Kirst xxx


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## jules418

morning ladies

Hope you are all well and resting up although christmas is a happy joyous and fun time it is also stressful and tiring haa haa. 

Ok confessions first.... I didn't put my tree up.... I know i know i know. BUT it takes ages and ages as i have to move furniture around etc and i just did not have time so I need to try and squeeze it in this week. but I am out tonight got dr's and SW tomorrow then out til sunday pretty much lol. I shall have to get up at 3 am and do it befre work haa haa. I am tempted to go buy a smaller already dressed one haa haa. 

Well I had a fabulous weekend. office Christmas party on fri night which was good and there was an aerobic show on with those people that wrap them selves up in sheets lol - if they were rapuntzel they would have escpaed at an early age haa haa. 
Then Sat I awoke with zero hang over ...WHAT!!!!! it is true i tell thee which is great as had roofer round at 8.30 and met the lovely kirstie in the afternoon (again sorry chixy couldn't make it and hope you feel better soonxxx) had a blummin gorg meal soooooooooooooo stuffed did eat agin til yesterday when i went for another slap up meal, kind of glad to be back at work where i bought no money so have cereal and a couple of mug shots to keep me going haa haa. 

lottie, tricia and kazza, how are you all. hope you aretaking it easy and resting up when you can. 

Bexter - it is weird how you can be fine then all of a sudden the emotions gates pops open and it is so difficult to close them again. I have booked in to see a counsellor on wednesday. I wasn't going to as 2nd week after MC I was ok. Well not ok ok but not a blubbering mess. then last week I was shocked as kept crying and felt so miserable. So booked it but now i feel ok again but prob best to go and if it is needed then great but if not then i get afternoon off work hee hee. 
Will you be on long protocol or short? I worked out that I will be down regging around 9th feb and stimming either 26th feb or 5th march. Last time i had to extend DR by 1 week but changing up the meds so we shall see. But guestimating 9th or 16th March for EC, if/when it works due date would be christmas eve lol I don't care when it come i just want it to come!!!! 

Poppy are you ok hunni xxx

BeckyA - hope you have a good flight back to the motherland  

Kirstie - as always lovely to meet up with you on sat and you are welcome for the hugs any time  

Hopeful how are you when do you start is it this week? 

Sorry for the me post I did try to say hello but then turned it on me again It's all about me, it's all about me baby lol ('my' spin on mcfly lol) 

pic of xmas party dress 

Jules
xxxxx


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## Bexter83

Hi ladies, hope your all well .

Love your dress and sparkly shoes Jules! Glad you had a fab weekend, sounded great . Wow your work go all out for your Christmas party! 

Yep before I started IVF I had seen that women can be offered counselling after if don't make it to full term. I wasn't offered it but think I would had tried it just because I can't see it hurting you after go through something stressful and painful. I hope it goes well and if you don't like it, then you just don't go after. It's definitely weird how you can be ok and then another day not. Tbh, I've felt ok but just occasionally have these scary moments where reality kicks in and then dread it. It's unavoidable and the sooner I get back into it, the sooner we will reach our goal. It's the combination of the pill which I've not long been on (Yasmin), which has made me feel different and more sensitive (and well more like a typical woman really ), the feeling of my body getting back to normal, weight and skin and then knowing it's not that long til I start again and put myself in that vulnerable position and although wanting to be full of hope, if another BFN, I will be broken again. However, I just need to have words with myself when I feel weak and negative and replace the memories of the fear of the needles, and all of those emotions you feel throughout the whole process, with telling myself it's just a phobia I have of needles and the injections aren't actually bad and whatever is thrown at me, I can deal with it and get over it but will eventually bring me a family of my own. So going to replace fear with excitement. I can see me eating my words  .
It's a short protocol. No DR, will do first 7 days of menopur 450 and then last 7 days of menopur 450 & Cetrotide, then the usual trigger shot (double dose this time though). I'm having the scratch procedure done on 29/12. 
So your on a long protocol then. Did you decide on where your going for the bloods and monitoring? 

So I have the flu jab this evening, god! When can all these things be done with tablets or little fairies sprinkling medication and vaccination dust on you!? 

Xxxx


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## jules418

ooo that reminds me i did ask consultant about getting flu jab and she looked at me like i was weird lol and said why would it affect you and I said cos immune system low and she laughed lol so have fun with that jab later on lol

I will have 3 (hopefully) weeks of DR same amount of buserelin as last time but increasing Menopur to 300 instead of 150 then we need to discuss the progesterone stuff. she was happy to prescribe gestone but we will discuss extra pessaries too not sure if will be one or the other or both but diff dosages. I have decided to go for the scratch she recommended it but I wasn't sure then thought i would regret not doing it. 

Looking at DNA fragmentation costs at the moment. clinic in notting ham does it at £670 then I looked at prague and they do it for £83 plus consult fee of £85...... how can uk get away with charging so much !!!!! left a message at coventry hospital as BW don't do it 

I also need to have a good look into the bloods side of things as not sure how often I would need to go and it is £60 per go at our local one. 

Have GP appointment tomorrow to sort out bloods for Full blood count and thyroid. 

I was watching 'the speakmans' and there was a girl on there scared of tablets, she had this disorder which meant if she didn't take the tablets she could die and she wasn't taking them as was more scared of them than she was of dying (made me cry) any way they fixed her.

when do you start stimms? EC before end of Jan? 


aww thanks - shoes were from Poppy..... thanks POPPY MWAH MWAH (they are kisses) 
Jxxx


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## Bexter83

You know what, I've been considering not going to the appointment for the flu jab, not completely because of the needle thing, as I had it years ago and didn't hurt but I've even been researching it because I actually got the flu exactly 1 year after having the jab. My immune system is very strong (in fact that's what the consultant was saying could be the problem), I don't really catch anything. It was my friend who really means well but she said I really should have it but my gut feeling things I shouldn't. 
Ha ha I think I've talked myself out of it now .

Yep so really not long until you start then😃. It's really good that you asked for extra progesterone, sounds really promising for next cycle. I'm sure they wouldn't had recommended the scratch unless they thought you could benefit from it. It's scary to put the control of our bodies in their hands but they are experts and I'm sure they are doing their best to give us the best possible chance.

I've not heard of DNA fragmentation testing?? What is it? How does work? 

That's not bad. My last bloods and monitoring bill was £1100. I felt like I was there all the time though. 

Have you had an AMH blood test? 

Aww bless her. It is sad. I know some people laugh at peoples phobias or don't understand but if it's what they are scared of, then it can take over your body and not make you think rationally. I have seen these two actually they seem to succeed every time. 
I thought I had gotten over my fear of needles, I don't even think they hurt really, not enough to worry about but I used to have to be held down when I was younger, even when a teenager. I've passed out so many times when having injections and blood tests, even when there is no discomfort. Now I have to lay down for any of them. It just really really annoys me because I really don't know why I'm scared of them? I don't get it at all. Anyways, I've just got to do what I've got to do and get on with it. I'm so grateful for my husband, apart from 3 days he set up and did my jabs which took so much anxiety away. 

I start stimming on the 1st Jan (around that date depending on when period arrives). Then should have EC on 16th, if no changes made to stimming (if more days added?? Etc). 
Awww so you could have a Christmas baby! Cute!! That would be the best ever Christmas present. I was due on Christmas Day, I was days early though.
I thought would had been so nice if my last cycle worked, as would had arrived my husbands birthday but I totally agree with what you say, after all of this you just don't care, you just want it to happen.
I was so ****** at my mum, we went out for dinner few months back (was on the evening of having a hospital app, so all was v fresh) and was saying how she doesn't know what my sister (who is older than me too) will do, as has a baby and used to commute for work and she doesn't like her job and she was saying she thinks she should just have another one. I was like yeah thanks, it's lovely to have the choice. A girl from my work has just had an abortion and was complaining about her period and said she will keep the next one. The thing is, I deep down understand and respect that's everyone has their own problems and people need to do what they feel is right at the time but maybe they need to just not talk to me about this. 

They are gorgeous! Xxx


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## jules418

hee hee what are you like - hope you don't get it now though eeek 

DNA fragmentation is where they test the head of the sperm for any defects. When they do a normal sperm test they check they are a nice size, how many there are and they are all going in same direction the check from tip of head to the end of tail. the DFT the just check the head check the cells and give a % that are bad, so generally there will be a few in all samples but should be a low %. If a higher % then the cells can die off once fertilised by the egg. So the egg fertilises and the embryo is then transfered and it could be a week or so later the cells in the head have all died off and then causes a misacarriage. Unfortunately there are a million reasons why misscarriages happen (frustrating) but at least with this test aparently it can help with selecting ones that don't have it - you can still misscarry though as that's life. Now I am not sure if they will only do this with ICSI and we are IVF as I didn't know about the test til friday and had review on thursday ....goddamn it!!! 

Cov have called back - they do do it but only for their own patients, care in nottingham do it and is cheaper but need to call them and ask if they wil send test results to BW. However I really do feel it is progesterone issue. 

I used to be scared of needes when had TB one i nearly broke my friends thumb lol bless her she is still my friend today though lol. Not sure how i got over it. I also couldn't look at those pencils that you click and the lead comes out and then click andyou can push them back in, infact still don't like those. and I ok with needles if i don't look or I am doing it myself. I can't look when giving blood though that is rank makes me want to vom. 

Ooooooo not long for you then really is a case of new year new start and I shall everything crossed for you xxxxxx

Oh some people just don't have a sensitive valve do they !!!!!! We were at the rugby club on sat and they do this stupid thing where they flick someones 'bag' when they are not looking. DH did this to one and he said 'ooo man that hurt i won't do it to you you need yours more than i do i have 2 kids' DH looked like he had been slapped in the face but laughed it off. 

How isthe house coming along? any joy on the job front apologies I have forgotten what happened after your interviews. 

Jxxx


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## tricia1012

Hello ladies , how are you all  

Jules - I'm glad you had a lovely weekend I saw some of your pics on ** you look very glam  good to see your enjoying yourself it's well deserved  . I'm glad to read your review went well  sounds positive for your next try   It all works out for you  Xx

Bexter - try and think positive Hun it will all be worth it in the end  I know it's so difficult with all the injections but remember what you told me think of them as baby wands ! That always makes me smile  def get the flu jab I didn't and boy am I suffering now , also I have done both short and long protocol , short is so much easier on your body so I'm so glad your cycling that way , wishing you the best of luck xx

Kirstie - I'm so glad your feeling a bit more positive this week    Enjoy the next year and you'll be in tip top shape to house your lil baby xx

Poppy - how are you my lovely ? You've been quiet on here hope all is well and your having a great time leading up to Christmas  xx

Lottie - how are you Hun ? Keeping those babies nice and snuggled in  xx

Kazza - how are you ? Xx

Becky - how's all that marking going ? Sounds full on . Bet you can't wait to fly over for Christmas  xx

Hello to anyone I've not mentioned still thinking of you all xx

So nice to hear so many of you have had your reviews and are getting ready to cycle again !! So exciting !! I know it's a tough process but hang in there and try and stay positive it will be worth it . I never wanted this try to start as I was so scared so I kept delaying it , and it's one of the toughest things I've been through but I would do it all over again in a heartbeat if needed . Can't wait to be your buddies through it again this is such a nice group  sorry I have been a bit quiet on here I'm back in hosp sick again  lol what's new ! hopefully I'll be better for Christmas  I've got all the cooking to do 

Have a lovely eve everyone  xx


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## Lottie1802

Bexter if you need me to come round and jab you I will, just shut your eyes and it will be over in a second I wouldn't hurt I swear. But you have done this once so give yourself credit for how brave you actually are  

Jules hope your Gp appt goes well, glad you let your hair down at the xmas do! The test sounds like a great idea, best to eliminate everything you can while you can  

Kirstie good to hear your not feeling as bad this week  keep smiling Luvvy x 

Chixy I hope you are feeling better  

Poppy I hope you are well and winding down for xmas  

Tricia I hope everything is going ok at the hospital , I just can't wait for you to feel yourself again I know you've had it rough   

AFM I'm feeling good, last full week of work thank goodness, I feel like I need some family time to recoup 
Also, slight emergency this morning ...the hamster escaped! After a frantic search at 5:45am we found him under the fridge . Hubby is in the bad books for putting his house in the cage when I told him he uses it to get out


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## poppy05

Hello lovelies


So sorry ive not been on here much, been really busy at work, and too tired in eve to come online
I haven't had time to read through all the posts so im sorry if ive missed any news 


I did however read your news the other day kirstie    you must be feeling so fed up, but everything happens for a reason, look at it that you have 18 months of doing what you want, so make it count! enjoy the time, as your next ivf will be the one that changes your lives forever   sending you both my love


jules im glad the shoes were ok, you looked gorgeous, love your dress   


tricia whats wrong babe? not the ohss?  hope you feel better soon   


lottie awww poor lil hamster, glad he's ok, hope your feeling ok?   


bexter i didnt realise you didnt like needles? would hypnotherapy help that? aww its so easy to say dont worry it'll be fine, but if your scared it can't be nice knowing you have got to do the jabs   


Hi to everyone ive not mentioned   


So finally it's christmas week, the busiest week in any hairdressers diary!!!!! im so busy i could cry, its the christmas tips thats keeping me going!!!    its a fun time in the salon, but flipping knackering, no lunch breaks, everyone wants party hair so nothing plain and simple    
last week was awful, af arrived on thurs morn, by 12.00 i had bled through all my clothes and had to go home! friday the same thing happened, luckily i had taken spare clothes with me just incase, then blow me same again on sat, i was literally gushing, i never have heavy periods so this was all a bit much for me    no pain though so i guess i should be grateful!


I will be in chat wed eve, as it will be our last one until the new year, i love you all dearly but i dont think i'll get away with ff stuff on christmas and new years eve!!   
so hope to see some of you on wed xxx


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## Bexter83

Morning lovely ladies, hope your all well .

Awww *Lottie*, loves ya, your an angel , I def will give you a call if the hubby can't do it, thank you  . Sorry I didn't mean to laugh but am glad you found your naughty little hamster . I bet your knackered! your work sounds hectic but long now until you can relax at home and spend time with your family .

Wow *Jules* it's really amazing to think what these specialists can do these days! Thanks for enlightening me on it. You know what, for the difference in price of having the test in Prague to UK, it could be worth doing a little romantic trip with the DH and get the test done at the same time, before you start next cycle, to get that info ready. I've heard Prague is lovely. I personally wouldn't go abroad for the whole IVF process but 1 test with almost £600 price difference, you could go there for a couple of nights and do that there for that money. 
Good that your DH didn't react but jeez some people don't think before they speak! The thing is IVF is such a personal thing and you don't want the world to know and even telling few close people, sometimes you can regret after, so you find yourself battling with thinking people are just saying these things because they don't know but still it's so insensitive! 
I know what you mean, you can feel when it's a certain problem. It really is good that you've asked for extra progesterone. 
Oh I remember those pencil pen things! See this is what I don't understand, I'm so calm with needles, I must build up so much anxiety subconsciously because it's only after I get the reaction. I don't panic or worry they are going to hurt but I get a physical effect either during or after if I'm not laying down. I pass out on every blood test if I don't lay down. I passed out when I was younger getting my ears pierced. Last year I was stung by a wasp, ok wasn't pleasant, I was so calm, even everyone was fussing over me, I said I'm fine and then it's like a dizzy feeling I get and then I had to sit down and then I passed out, apparently I went green and had a fit, they called an ambulance but it came around and was passed the phone and I said I'm ok please don't come. So I honestly don't know why I get a physical effect from any needles when I'm calm about them now, in the last 10 years. Anyways, I'm just going to have to get on with it, I know the drill now and just going to need a few words with myself when I feel weak.
Oh the latest is that we had some good news the other week on the mortgage front which puts us in a better position, so we have 3 months to find a place. But then our landlady came around last week with an agent and they put this house up for sale, so we need to leave in 3 months but it's worked in our favour because if both parties are in need of continuing on a monthly basis after that, we can do short term tenancy if we need. So I withdraw my applications on the jobs I went for interviews for because the DH and I said by the time I finish training etc we'll be moving and trying to be somewhere new to have IVF next month, was just not going to work, so am staying put at the moment (even though isn't great) and will get a new job when we move. It all seems up in the air but not letting it stress me out. Xxx

*Tricia* you poor thing! What's happening? Is it oshh? Really wishing you a speedy recovery and you get out v soon. Sending hugs   .. Thanks Hun too, you made me feel better.

Oh *Poppy* I hope your AF calms down! Sounds horrendous. Sending hugs too   . Your work sounds manic, I hope you get to relax v soon. Do you think working with the chemicals like the hair colour etc could be what's causing problems with miscarriage? Do you think you could not do hair colouring and treatments and just do cutting and styling when You FET. 
I'm considering hypnotherapy now, am going to look into today. Xxx

*Kirstie* how you doing hunny bunny?

Get well soon *Chixy* xx

*Kazza* how are you?

*Zana* and *hopeful* , how's treatment going?

AFM, ok so I did go for the flu jab in the end. Saw it as a sign  and thought to brave the jab and remind me it's not bad. Lol, there wasn't a bed (which I expected there wouldn't be), didn't hurt a single bit but after I slowly started to feel faint and like I wanted to vom, I actually had to lay down on their floor , how embarrassing!! Then I got up, really wanting to leave now but the feeling returned, so back down I went again. I'm never going to that pharmacy ever again . You know what I don't really write much on ******** and this is why, so I wrote about this experience light heart-idly and I get loads of comments saying I flu jabs don't work, have I not heard of what's on the news etc etc.. 1. I'm not going to tell them that I'm having IVF and will be put on steroids to lower my immune system. 2. If it's so bad or wrong, why are they supplying it still today? 3. What do they want me to do about it now? Have it reversed! So ridiculous! I mean come to me when it is reversible and when they are medically qualified! And so stupid  I had to lie in my response, ha ha saying my doctor advised til I know I shouldn't had but I didn't want to tell them my business.

Xxxx


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## jules418

Howdy ladies

Nice to see you tricia, poppy and lottie. 
Tricia - how are you tioday hun, can't believe you have been back to the hospital big hugs to you 

Lottie aka the jabbing queen or jabba the needle not sure on 2nd one 1st one sounds cuter lol, I may call on you if/when i start gestone haa haa. 

Poppy - I can't believe you had to go through that on 3 days how awful. wonder if next one will be like that hope not !!!! will you have another before FET? when do you start? 

Bexter - also at the club on sat one of the wives came up to us and went ooooo congratulations, I looked at her blankly and so did bob (although we both knew) she looked at us as if her heart had stopped beating and one of the lads took her to oneside, didn't see her again. I have to say though i slightly peed myself laughing as her face was a picture. And I know us women like to talk but serioulsy those men are proper gossip mongers. 

Good news on your mortgage yayyyy and sound like it came at the right time with your landlord selling - could you buy this house from them? would you want to don't know may work out cheaper if no estate agents etc. they may knock a few ££ off the price. 
the job front is always a difficult one isn't it. I feel my life has been on hold for about 5 years thinking what if what if and I could be in a good job else where now if i had applied back then... however i beileve everything happens for a reason and to go with the flow. Can't change the past can only plan for a future.

I am glad you got your flu jab though and sod everyone else hee hee. 

AFM - I have been looking at flights today to prague out of curiosity and hotels so am getting those prices sorted the tes results take about 3 weeks to come back so would need to look at end of jan begining of feb really otherwise not worth it, wondering if i need to speak with BW about if the results come back with any issues. as i guess that would change the treatment plan hmmmmmm. sooo much to think on and very little support out there from medical professionals who should (but don't seem) to know the answers. 

Jules
xxx


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## tricia1012

Hi ladies  , 

Bexter - well done getting the flu jab  I can imagine how hard it is when you have such a phobia , great to hear your getting some good news with your mortgage  everything always works itself out in the end xx

Poppy - oh Hun I really hope af eases for you   Glad your not suffering in loads of pain though . I can imagine how busy work is for you beauty / hair is always crazy this time of the year xx

Jules - I've read of loads of women who've gone to Prague it's def worth looking into if it can save you some money  xx

Lottie - lol omg with the hamster ! Glad you found him quick . Hope the next few dats go quick for you so you can enjoy a nice break for Christmas  xx

Afm : I'm back home resting I have a chest and throat infection so I'm on antibiotics to hopefully cure that and I've been signed off work again for a few days, was a bit down the last few days because I've been so poorly but then last night we came home from hosp to find a pipe had burst and our downstairs bathroom is flooded . I couldn't help but laugh . So today workmen are smashing up my lovely new bathroom to get to fix it  and no loo all day not good for a preggo women !! Mad dash to the neighbour when I need a wee lol, they obv don't know I'm preggo so they must think I'm mad or have a bladder problem !


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## jules418

Oh no tricia....... that is awful well done on laughing though I would have cried, but then i am the one that has to call out the 'man' 
Good news you are back home though , home with no loo is better than the hospital!!! hope you satrt to feel better soon too 

when is your next scan? I assume after christmas now. 

hope things get sorted soon for your bladder and neighbours sake haa haa. 


I just had a mail from Gennet in Prague replying to mine. I can have the test done there €100 (about £83) and doesn't look like i need consultation app either just DH going in doing his business and then carry on with the sight seeing... Went on to Asda travel and they have a 2 night stay inc flights from stanstead for £164.91 for both of us !!!!! I did just recheck that but that is true so test, hotel and flights for £247, cost of food drinks etc is not much then parking at the airport round figure £500 max compared to a day trip to nottingham for £700, could pick up spome duty free too haa haa. Think I shall be speaking with DH about this one !!!! 

I know he wasn't keen on going to prague for the IVF treatment and i get that but for his test that would be ok wouldn't it... 

Jxxx


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## K.Notman

*Jules*- that Prague trip sounds fantastic! When do you think you might go? I'm guessing it would be midweek for the clinic to do the test. My parents went to a wedding in Prague this year and loved, highly recommending it. I hope that BW would accept the results though as my consultant was really funny about not using any test results done elsewhere for my DH (but that was just regular NHS sperm tests which they'd repeated there anyway). Knowledge is power though and they will be in a better position to make adaptions if need be.

*Tricia* - I'm glad it's not the OHSS but sorry to hear that you have had a tough time of it. Nice to be home though and well done for taking the plumbing issue so well- I'd probably flip and go running off to live with my parents as it would be the last straw! "always look on the bright side of life" and all that! Have you planned your Christmas cooking? We started buying non-perishables in last night's shop so I'm getting excited. The supermarkets are all trying to beat each other on offers so we took advantage of a few!

*Bexter*- Hi hun, I'm fine thanks. I know what you mean about ******** and people putting their nose in- like you say- what good is all that when you've had it done?! I think you've done the right thing anyway and you won't be wandering 'what if' in the future. I really do feel for you having so much trouble with needles and going through fertility treatment. I love how Tricia refers to them as 'Baby wands'! It's all for the greater good.

*Poppy*- I hope you are ok with your work load and horrific AF, sending you HUGS. It must be quite enjoyable though having a good gossip and enjoying people getting excited over the festive season. Do you have a works party so you lot can enjoy yourself too? Sorry I won't be able to make chat again, Panto rehearsals are going well but it's scary how few we have left until our opening night on 16th Jan.

*Lottie*- I'm still smiling thanks sweetheart. I'm glad you found your hamster! That kind of panic first thing in the morning can set you back all day! How are all your Christmas preparations going? Taking it all in your stride I hope. Take care.

AFM, I'm doing well at the moment. Feels like I've turned a corner. Whether it's because I'm letting myself get excited for Christmas and I'll be utterly depressed in January I don't know but for now I'm taking it easy. Last karate tonight before the break and we have our party on Friday (it's funny seeing people in clothes rather than their karate Gi- mine is not flattering at all so I plan to knock them dead looking skinny in a dress instead!). Work is manic with trying to get things done before the Christmas shut down but it's better than paying the lads to sweep the workshop as we've had in previous years when production has been low. Anyway, just thought I'd post to let you know I'm, still reading everyone's progress and routing for you all.

Big hugs to all. Kirstie


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## Bexter83

OMG *Tricia*!!! I think you could write a book! What a nightmare, really not what you need right now. Really glad your out of hospital now and have been signed off work for a few days, so hopefully you'll be feeling loads better v soon. You really didn't need to come home to that problem though. Hope can be done on an insurance job as only a new bathroom. Lucky you have a good relationship with your neighbours, phew! Hope it all gets sorted very quickly Hun and glad it's now and not at Christmas where no one will come out to fix it.

*Jules* you are kidding me!?! I bet that woman went straight home. Honestly though, you just wouldn't would you!? I bet that woman wanted a shovel and quick . I keep saying it but hormones are so powerful, I don't think some people quite understand, weight, bloat, skin, any change and it literately gets physical.

The DH and I are looking at different areas really, so we wouldn't buy this house. It will all come together I'm sure, it always does in the end.

What a bargain! Go for it!! Oh and maybe just call BW to see if they would look at these test results and if changes need to be made to next cycle, would it affect the time your due to start etc. I think just to be sure, just call them to find out everything.

Eeeek all my meds get delivered tomorrow morning, it's all so real now .

Xxxx


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## jules418

Bexter - totally serious - to be fair it was really funny cos she meant well she obv heard the good news but not the bad. bless her. I actually felt bad for her (after i had laughed that is), Have your meds arrived now? 1st Jan will soon be here as if it is 2 weeks tomorrow.... 

I have my counselling session at 2pm today hopefully it will be productive but i am also going to see if I can chat to a nurse or someone about these tests and if i do have them will they accept them etc. if not then no point but still be nice to go to prague haa haa. would need dog sitters though as M&D are getting a kitten in Jan and I am not sure how my two would deal with that. 

Kirstie - I am glad you have turned that corner, like i said you need to just take each day as they come and if you feel pants then so be it as you will soon be feeling happy again. We would probably go on a tuesday then come back the thursday or friday only about £40 to stay an additional night but then that is meds money so have to be sensible

Tricia how are you feeling today hun? 

Lottie any more escapades haa haa 

Hope you are all ok, I shall try to get on chat tonight espesh as it is last one of 2014.

love to all

Jules
xxxx


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## hopeful1985

Hey lovely ladies,

Apologies for my absence it has been hectic!

I think it was Jules and Bexter talking about phobias Well mine is.....Bananas! NOT JOKING! looking at them makes me feel faint and queasy and I have been know to pass out if someone gets to close with one or physically vomit. strange huh? My DH thinks it is hilarious

Hope you are all well - 

Tricia I am sorry to hear you have been poorly again - i hope things get better for you in the run up to christmas

Poppy - hope you are feeling christmassy (apart from your horrible AF - poor you) and you and DW are well

Bexter - hope you are keeping well, have you meds arrived?

Kirstie - wish I could see you in this panto! Would love to do one!

Jules - All sounds like a step in the right direction hun, hope you are well.

AFM - its official I started DR yesterday - already 3 buserilin injections in  - not sure how I feel about it - was emotional last night - I dunno if i am imagining it but already ave that heavy tight feeling in my tummy and feels like the world is a lil dimmer - you ladies know the feeling - maybe i am super sensitive this time round who knows?


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## Bexter83

Hey ladies 

*Kirstie*, am so glad you've turned a corner and you feel lots better now . I'll bet you'll knock em dead in your gorgeous dress Hun! Hope you have a great time . You sound very busy. This year we're going to the DH's house and am only buying for my 2 nephews but I know it's not easy when your hosting (the million shopping trips become a nightmare and nothing is done quickly either and then Xmas shopping for friends and family is so time consuming but will be worth it and am sure you'll have a magical day.

How did the counselling sesh go *Jules*? And did you get the chance to speak to any of the nurses? 
Aww I suppose if it were because she didn't know the whole story, she was only being nice but god she must had been mortified!!&#128561;
Yep my meds arrived this am and I have the same menopur you had, they are ampules of 150, so I need 3x of these per day, great! I'm going to buy 1 large syringe which will hold 450IU and use the disposable needles, so only need to jab once, as have Cetrotide too for the last 7 days (or I call it cyanide ). Really isn't long now, eeek!

Oh jeez Hopeful, I'll make sure I won't use the jiggy banana emoji for you then! I had a friend who was scared of bananas because she was forced to eat them as a child but don't think she vommed or anything. Awww bless you, it's funny or hard to understand to others but if it's a fear, what can you do!? 
Oh hunny, sending you hugs    and also a PMA bashing   , I think it's the hormones and the vulnerability you feel going through it. Whenever you start to worry or feel low just try and surround yourself with anything which makes you feel good. Go for a walk, listen to music you like etc.. So are you doing 3x buserelin jabs a day?

Love to all xxx


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## tricia1012

Evening ladies , 

Bexter - I know I should write a book lol so much drama !! Did all your meds arrive safely? Xx

Hopeful- congrats on starting  hope it all goes well  I think if your doing 3 lots of buserilin you prob will start to feel things a lot sooner so make sure you take it easy and start upping your fluids now so you get your body used to drinking more water  xx

Jules - how did your counselling session go ? Hope it all went well   Xx

Kirstie - I'm so glad to hear your feeling better , good tip with the Christmas shopping I haven't done a thing  xx

Poppy - I will try and pop on tonight for our last chat of 2014 !! X

Hope everyone else is doing well .

The workmen have just left still got a way to go to sort out the damage  but there's no point worrying people go through much worse . Had a panic today realised it's only a few days to Christmas and I have done nothing !! Havent had a chance with being ill it's going to be a mad dash next week I'll be one of those annoying late christmas shoppers lol 

Hopefully be on for a lol bit  later in chat for a catch up  xx


----------



## Bexter83

No stress *Tricia*, 1 day at the shops and you'll get everyone done . 
Fingers crossed that the work will be done very quickly and you can use your own bathroom again. Hope your starting to feel better now, otherwise we'll have to send Jules round for a broccoli bashing . 
My meds arrived thanks and I was considering buying 1 large syring because am going onto 450 iu menopur and would mean I'd be using 3x ampuls per day but I converted IU to ml and it's 0.75ml, so the syringes they provided are fine to do it as 1 shot.

*Jules*, we'll look after your hairy friends (their your dogs btw ), if you need a dog sitter.

Xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Hi ladies thank u for the pma! I am on buserilin 50 units twice a day then from 29th two buserilin jabs, a gonal F jab and a menopur (or how ever its spelt) jab a day (4 a day ahh) EC booked for 12th as long as my body cooperates this time. Havent looked at menopur properly yet have my teach on 29th. Tried watching a you tube vid but it was too daunting lool. 

I hope ur bathroom looks good as new soon Tricia. Just what u need! Xx


----------



## Bexter83

Hardcore *Hopeful*! My EC will be around that date too!
Let me know if you need any help on how to do the menopur vial, I had the pack which had 1 vial and 2 solutions last time.

Xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Yay we r in it together. Thanks hun xx


----------



## Lottie1802

Hey ladies,

Wishing you massive amounts of luck and sending hugs for your BFP this cycle  

AFM I'm petrified, I haven't seen the babies for a few weeks and now I'm freaking out thinking something may of happened  I have another week to wait and I'm scared if they've stopped growing or something! I really want to make our families Christmas   The worrying never stops, I actually feel sick with fear


----------



## K.Notman

Morning all. I hope you had a good time in chat last night. My rehearsal went well (last one this year, gulp!) and we actually had full cast for a change to properly rehearse dance/song numbers. It's so cheesy I love it! DH & I made all the stage set last year so it just needs a bit of altering and re-painting this year- I need to make a few cacti too!

*Lottie *I can appreciate that the worrying will never stop for any of us! Sending you positive vibes hun. Just keep to your healthy routines and enjoy Christmas with love and support from your family.
*Hopeful & Bexter* I'm so glad you are going through this cycle together as buddies with all of us cheering you on. It seems funny hearing all this talk of injections again, It won't be long before we are asking about follies, eggies and wishing you well for ET and the 2ww! Big hugs to both of you. I hope you can still enjoy Christmas and New Year as a bit of a distraction and that you can relax too.
*Tricia*, I'm glad each day that passes gets things closer to 'calm'! Getting bathroom sorted and now being able to start your Christmas prep- It's not too late to order on line and I highly recommend 'click & collect' services - then that just leaves a 2 hour session for wrapping and nibbling mince pies!
*Jules*- I'm looking forward to hearing your opinion on the counselling and what BW had to say about your proposed Prague trip? These are steps in the right direction and we'll be talking about all your meds soon in the New Year too. I shared a poster for the Panto on ******** with the dates/venues so just let me know if you want me to get tickets- we could ask Chixy too and I can have some groupies in the audience (you're not allowed to laugh at my cringing performance when the Pirate Chief sings me a love song- I hate that bit and am trying to get it cut down to one verse which is plenty long enough for me to squirm!).
All other lurkers on the forum- HELLLOOOOOO. I hope you are all good and feeling festive.

AFM, with the vast amount of things I have on over the next month I've had to draw up a planning schedule! Blocking chunks of time off for appointments/visits etc and then seeing the little patches in between to get other stuff done (e.g. unblock sink holes, clean oven, clear dining room, wrap pressies etc). I have a doctors appointment today to sort out longer term HRT now that I'm going to be waiting ages before my next cycle. I just want my body to get into a normal routine of monthly cycles with good uterus lining and healthy bleeds but I won't be having any more scans until we start again. Anyway, have a good day all.
Love Kirst


----------



## jules418

morning ladies

Lottie - it is natural to worry hun especially when so much other stuff is going on christmas prep etc. Make sure you are getting time to sit and relax even if just 10 min breaks. You will be fine though and the bambinos are all snuggled in nicely plotting for when they break free  

Tricia - how are you feeling today. Hope your bathroom gets sorted today and that is a very good way of thinking about it. Like Kirstie said don't worry about presents you have time to order on line, make a cup of tea sit on sofa with laptop/phone and order a way. nice and easy with out the crazies on the high street. Keep up your vit c intake lots of fresh veggies xxx

Hopeful - wowee you will be like a pin cushion hee hee, the meopur is fine, it is just long winded. My advise is make sure you suck everything up the needle even the bubbles, I sometimes had to re squirt it in the vial to makes sure i picked it all up. have the slant of the needle facing the wall of the vial you get good suction that way  I used a thicker needle to do all that then swapped the tip to a thin one. 

Bexter - thanks for the dog offer, however we are not going to prague, (at least not for the test) the counselling session went well.

Poppy - how are you hunni busy busy, missed you last night xxx

Kirstie - ooo defo up for a panto night would be fab if chixy came too, prmise not to laugh (fingers are crossed). Loving the lists  Hope your DR's appointment is good and you get the meds you require. Once christmas is out of the way you can start making lists for things to do for 2015 and it will be 2016 in no time with a Doner Egg at the ready xxxx 

Hi to everyone else. 

WAR AND PEACE WARNING, GRABA CUPPA OR SKIP TO THE END LOL 

AFM - I had my counselling session yesterday afternoon, to be honest I didn't think I needed it, I booked it as had an awful week the week before last week. Anyway I am very glad I went. She was lovely and asked me to go through what had happened, how i felt, did I blame myself, was I angry, frustrated etc etc. Did I feel i had let people down. and I pretty much answered yes to all of the above which I hadn't really thought about. 
I mentioned the test and she wanted to know why I had focused in on that test over all the other miscarriage tests/investigations out there. I still don't know the answer to that one. She suggested I speak to someone in Andrology Unit. 
I cried alot I got angry that I was crying alot (I don't do crying) she told me off for not crying haa haa. I left feeling like some weight had been lifted off my shoulders I felt less tense. she suggested DH and I take a break and I explained that it was tricky. We had planned to go to North Yorkshire with the dogs for a week end of Jan, so after the consent signing and before treatment starts. To kind of re group, spend sometime together in different surrounding and basically escape from the norm. Well, My folks are helping us financially, we could do it ourselves but woudl involve credit cards and my folks are dead set against those (oh if only they knew he hee) anyway I met my mom last friday and she said in a very very nice cautious tone. 
' I don't want you to think we are interferring but as we are loaning you the money for treatment ' I butted in and said no you are not naming it!! she laughed and said 'we don't think you should then be spending money on a holiday' ..... Now I get where they are coming from on a 'Practical' level. Spending money going away when we are short on money is not very clever BUT we are not booking it for a jolly whoop whoop lets get smashed up. We are booking it as emotionally we are drained, being in the house is stressful, doing our normal routine id tiresome and we need to be in a different environment. However I then feel guilty for wanting this. I spoke to my sister about it and she did agree with me and that we were not just spending money frivilously so need to tell M&D now. 
at the end of the meeting (I did over run abit) I asked about how I contact the Andrology people and she kindly went and asked one to speak with me. I had to wait about 40 mins but thats ok. 
The head of the dept came over and was lovely only young maybe about early to mid 30's he went through the DNA thing and said that it really would be a waste of money, there is no evidence that it is needed we are both healthy and don't have any illnesses etc etc and we chatted for about 30 mins and I feel now that we don't need it. I don't feel I was talked out of it but I do feel I knwo the facts better than reading it on the net. HE and his colleague also wrote the most recent research mateial on it so I was confident he new his stuff. 
He has been through MC also so new the pain and cofussion I was going through and said it was only natural to look for answers but sometimes there are no answers as nature is cruel and kind. 

anyway. I feel raw and emotional today but in a good way. 

Ok you can all wake up now  

Jules
xxxx


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## K.Notman

Jules I'm glad your session went well.  Sometimes we don't know what to say or how to say it but just getting things off your chest is good.  Seeing the Andrologist was great too- someone who knows what they are talking about!  Good to know you haven't booked Prague tests and wasted your money.  I know how you feel though about just wanting to do everything you can and hopefully changing just a few aspects of tx for your next cycle will make all the difference.  As far as a mini-break goes, I think if you explain everything to M&D they'll be ok- as you say, you're not going silly, it's all part of the treatment!
Be kind to yourself today. Big hugs


----------



## jules418

also my sis said that as not going to prague (or where ever) for that tes that is money saved whihccan now go towards a break ... she is a gem


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## Bexter83

Glad the counselling sesh went well Jules, sometimes having someone let you see  things in a different light or ask yourself questions you hadn't thought of but not understanding why you feel a certain way really can make you feel better, tired and exhausted after but better. Good that you found out now that the test would had been a waste. I wish there were a set of tests for us all which pin pointed our areas for concern but the deeper you get into this treatment, the more it opens up a can of worms. 
It's a hard one with the folks. Until people have been through this, no one really has any idea how much you just want a weekend away at least with your partner to remember what it feels like to have fun and to enjoy each other again. God I'm absolutely desperado to do this and it's my birthday on tues and the hubby looked into going to the Cotswolds for 2 nights but it was just a tease as the weather is looking crap so he was like he may as well work (being self employed). I know it sounds daft but I just so desperately want 1 day and 1 night where we just have fun and get jiggy too😜, we haven't since before last cycle (sorry tmi). 
Then it's that situation when people help out with money but then feel they have a place to tell you how to spend all your money. I can see from both sides, in 1 way they think they are helping with the IVF fund and your going on holiday but you know it's not like that. Money is the root of all evil!

I know Kirstie, it's mad! This time next month I'll be having ET!!
Hope all your Christmas plans are well going to plan xxx

Lottie, have text you but sending you hugs  And PMA bashing   Xxx


----------



## K.Notman

Well, having waited 45 mins in the waiting room, I finally got to see my GP (I don't know why we bother making appointments when you might as well 'take a ticket' and wait!).  I told GP the outcome of my review and that I just needed to go on HRT for the foreseeable future (18months).  He acted a bit clueless and it irritated me.  He asked what I was on before (it's on his screen!) so I told him I'd been on the microgynon pill for years until the fertility tx started, he said couldn't I just go on that again?  I said "I DONT KNOW!"  He is supposed to be telling me FFS! I expressed my concern that I needed my uterus to regularly get thicker than it was on the micrognon and I just wanted to have regular cycles (is that really too much to ask?).  I've been prescribed 3 months HRT and will see how I get on with it.  

It's put me on a real downer.  Not helped by the amount of new-borns in the waiting room for their 6 week checks. GGGrrrr I hate feeling like this but I guess that's all part of this roller coaster we're on.  Mine is just at a snail's pace that's all- see you guys at the finish line photo both in 2019!!!!!


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## jules418

aww Kirstie hun     

Some Gp's are a nightmare makes you wonder how they get in that job !!! I am glad he sorted you out with the HRT meds though and fingers crossed you will get on ok with them. 

Don't be on a downer, I know it is hard but think of the christmas stuff ghet some more lists on the go (god I love lists - doing my food timing list now) 

And in the festive spirit and panto stylie, this year 'IS BEHIND YOU' rock on 2015 bring it on !!!! 

quick update - spoke to my mom and she is cool with us booking the break away think I over thought it and got myself in a tiss, see talking helps  

Jxx


----------



## BeckyA

Another friend just told me she 's expecting. Sigh.
(At least she told me, which i do appreciate) I JUST WANT IT TO BE ME!
Sorry for shouting. Rant over.

Kirstie, these things are all sent to try us. Good that you have got the hrt though, even if you had to do the gps job for him.  

Jules, glad the session went well, really happy for you it did.

Bexster and hopeful, eek, its all happening soon. Very exciting!

Lottie, your bubbas will be fine, but i can imagine the stress and worry never stops. Not long until your scan now, i think you said your were having a private one done?

Tricia, hope your bathroom gets sorted soon!

Poppy, hope you are ok despite being super busy. We missed you on chat last night. It was just me and jules and another girl called lily for ages!! We were extremely helpful to her!

Hi to everyone else still lurking!

AFM, 2 sleeps til fly back to the motherland! Also just waiting on AF, due tomorrow but no signs yet! Hopefully will be my penultimate for a long time!!


----------



## Lottie1802

Ah ladies thanks for all your words of support it means so much, I really feel angry with myself that im not enjoying every second because I know how lucky we are, I just feel like I have the responsibility to all our families to make everyones christmas amazing and its such a heavy weight on my shoulders....jules can I come see your therapist I feel like I have some demons to deal with lol

On a more important note i just felt so excited reading through your posts about starting DR drugs hopeful , bexter etc, It brings back memories of how I felt 12 weeks ago and how cool it was going through all this with you girls! I cant wait to hear all about it and I will say a prayer for each and every one of you  

Jules your appointment actually sounded amazing , I genuinely feel like I could do with having a cry to a stranger to lift some weight off my shoulders and expel some stupid thoughts in my head lol. And as for your break I think if you explained your feelings to your mum im sure she would understand,  you didnt just have a failed cycle which must of been even harder to cope with and a failed cycle must be tough enough as it is. 

Tricia, if I hear one more bit of bad news from you im going to lock you and your hubby in my spare room and keep you there so nothing more can happen and I will deliver the babies lol

I still think we should all meet up for a coffee morning ! Why dont we book something once Christmas is done and we've all calmed down a bit from the chocolate highs lol ??

Thanks again girls , I feel more positive today I think that may be because I feel sick as a dog but at least its a sign lol 

Luv to you all x x


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## K.Notman

Morning folks, quick 'Me' post today.
I took up the courage to start more internet research yesterday starting with our good ol' FF site; looking at the egg donor threads.  One of the ladies asked if it was possible for me to get my NHS funding transferred to another clinic that has shorter waiting lists.  I hadn't even thought of this!  So I'm sending out emails today to ask the question.  Somehow I suddenly feel enlightened that I can take control of this fertility demon again!  I'll let you know how it goes, even if it means that I have to travel more to appointments, psychologically this will be better than an 18 month wait!
Have a good day all xxxx


----------



## jules418

Hi all, 

Well done kirstie, I hadn't even thought of that butthat reminds me my acupuncturist mentioned this earlier in teh year he said CARE in Nottingham take NHS funded not sure what aspects maybe all, give them a call and see what they need from you. CARE have very good results. I think if funding is already in place they just need confirmation of that. Yayyyy to feeling hopeful again   

Lottie - you are funny, do you get couselling as part of your treatment, ours is through the hospital and can use it for as long as needed and it is free which is great. But for now, enjoy christmas, strip it back a bit what is christmas all about? In my eyes it is about spending time with loved ones be that family or friends or both, it is about reflecting on those relationships and enjoying what they bring. Giving to others, not gifts from the shops but gifts of love and appreciation and understanding. Obviously the unwraping of gifts too I'm not totally weird lol so don't stress about it everyone will have a fab time as they will be with you..... Glad you feel more positive though  

I am well up for a coffee and cake day  although I am booked up weekends til Feb (so popular lol) 

BeckyA - yayyy last day for you then you get to fly home whoop whoop and hunni it will be you I know it but yes it is blummin hard when friends catch so easily. I tell you whats strange, When a friend or family member tells me they are preggers I am happy obv but also as green as a sprout in jealousy as I want it to be me. Yet with Tricia, lottie, kazaa MrsF etc I am soooooo super excited and not jealous (well I am but not in same bitter green way) I guess cos I know the tough journeys and am sooo pleased, maybe it is just being jealous of the ease of getting pregnant more over the fact of being preggers does that make sense or am I waffling.... Has AF arrived? if not will sooo be when you are on the plane lol 

I am good today, feel a bit hyper not suire if it is cos it is friday and i finish in 15 mins, or christmas, or the amount of sugary items i have eaten probably all three haa haa. 

I doubt I will be on FF this weekend as got loads on as I am sure you all do (need to clean oven..thanks kirstie) lots of shopping, another roofer and 2 more christmas outtings maybe 3 (see how i feel sunday) so have a fabulous one ladies

Remeber we are all amazing (if not the bestest in all the land.. and the land is HUGE!!!!) 

loves yas

Jules
xxxx


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## Bexter83

Just quickly saying hi to to you lovely ladies! Jules, totally with you on that one, am hi diving you right now! We are the bestest in all of the land! And am 100% with you on the preggers thing, that's exactly how I feel.

Becky, almost on UK territory now, not long!!✈

Well done Kirstie, that's v proactive and I know you'll make it happen, let us know how you get on.

Lottie Hun, don't feel any guilt, we would be exactly the same and it's not an easy ride for you and we will all support each other through our stages . As for Christmas, lists lists lists, it will clear the head and other than you (you can get on the OJ but keep the booze flowing on Christmas Day and everyone will have the best day (if they can remember any of it after, lol). No stress chick xx

Little message for us ladies xxx


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## Bexter83

Stupid iPad! Hi diving!


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## Lottie1802

I thought I was in the wrong forum when I saw Bexter hi diving jules  
Too funny

K.Notman glad your feeling more positive, you really will get there and we'll be cheering you on every step, the great thing about FF is some of these woman know short cuts and the right things to say or do which can help you get where you want a bit quicker or easier x 

Jules your booked until feb! Ah man you must be fun to be around! I need me a piece of this jules party time lol we can both eat sugary snacks and get hyper together

Jules/bexter I know exactly how you feel, my brother and his girlfriend always argue, not quite sure why they are together and they are now on their fourth kid! For years whenever I see them inside I'm screaming 'I just wanted one and you bunch of idiots got four arrrgghh' lol they just had to brush past each other on the stairs and she'd be pregnant lol it really isn't fair , none of it really makes any rational sense. All I can't say is we tried for 5 years and I never for one minute dreamt I'd be sat here so what feels like the impossible is actually completely achievable and I just know you'll all get there x x 

AFM 3 more days of work yawn ! But then we finally get to share this news with our parents , I actually get teary thinking about how they might react , and hubby is being a grump because he doesn't keep secrets from his family, but I think it was for the best , the babies are a bit more established now and it will be amazing being with them all day seeing them excited about the news and finally get to talk about it out in the open. I think I might be starting to accept this is actually true lol it's only taken me 5 weeks .


----------



## Bexter83

Lol *Lottie*  totally wrong forum!!&#128514;
Jeez why do men get so moody! And think it's us women who are, er no!! I'm sure as his family probably know he can't keep a secret that they will be totally surprised to find out the most amazing news ever! I'd love to be a fly on the walk and see all the reactions. What a fantastic Christmas Day it will be! 
You'll have your scan and Christmas Day you'll share the news with your family and I hopefully the reality will sink in then and you'll be able to start enjoying it . 
It's weird, I still can't imagine ever being pregnant, I will never think it's real until I'm holding him/her. 
Aww bless you, that must had been hard. It does seem so unfair sometimes but then we know life doesn't work like that. 
Agree! We all so should meet up, maybe we could all go for a mass afternoon tea somewhere .

Xxxx


----------



## Kazza79

Hi everyone 

Sorry iv not been around for a while just been so busy with kids school stuff, work and christmas preparations. Not long now   

It's so exciting to read how everyone has got all there plans ready for the new cycles I'm so excited for you all and can't wait to read your BFPS really soon.

Is everyone ready for Christmas ? What's everyone's plans ? I'm hosting Christmas again this year so lots of cooking for me x


----------



## jules418

Morning all, 

Apologies I have a bit of a selfish self pity post. 

Had a girls meal last night went to a hotel 3 course meal disco etc. Any way this is the meal I had planned to do my 11 week scan reveal (private scan) obv didn't cos mc. Any way one of the other girls did instead. Handed Xmas card and there was this baby scan picture. I couldn't help it but I cried.  I then felt super guilty cos she has had really hard time fertility wise and gyne wise pcos endometriosis to name but a few. I am really pleased for her she had a year to catch before she has to have hysterectomy. But it was such a shock and how I was going to do it I was so sad and still am. I WANT IT TO BE ME.

Ok green eyed monster locked away again. On the happy side I am well chuffed for her and her sister (one of my best mates) and she said Michael the acupuncturist really changed her periods so make me feel hopeful as I will be setting him again in the new year. 

Ok enough self pity. ITS CHRISTMAAAAAAASSSSSS 

Love to all

Jules
Xxx


----------



## BeckyA

jules....

Hope you are all doing ok. I am now on british soil! Just been to visit a good friend for lunch and now at mum's house waiting for tea!

Tomorrow off to royal albert hall to see anton and erin from strictly plus a choir sing and dance to carols. Great!


----------



## Bexter83

Don't worry Jules we all feel the same , I certainly do, so I understand xxx


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## Lottie1802

Jules I want it to be you too ! Try not to get too upset, I know it's hard , But your turn is on it's way    Next Christmas will be different for you I promise


----------



## hopeful1985

Hey ladies - sorry I have been MIA for a lil while the buserilin is kicking in and kicking my a*se - you know the familiar feeling of feeling heavey and living in a bubble, terrible skin and bloating - look dead sexy at the moment   hahahahaha

How are you guys?

xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Awww *Hopeful* , it's horrible isn't it! It will all be worth it Hun, your doing really well.

I'm ok thanks chick, I don't know if it's the pill or what? But have felt so angry these last 2 days. Things have really wound me up but actually as we speak the people who had set me off, have actually just text and maybe I was just being a bit silly. Good though cos I don't want to feel sad or moody xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Oh its horrible isn't it? Trying to work out whether you are right to be angry or if you are being over sensitive. Bloody hormones!! With me its anger or crying lol. worse thing though is when you genuinely feel angry or sad and people go 'aw poor you its your hormones' winds me up more than anything else. lool


----------



## Bexter83

OMG! 100% agree with you!
You know the hormones are almost controlling your mood and how your seeing things but it's not for anyone else to tell you your ratty because of them......makes you want to slap them even more! 
Oh god I'm so not looking forward to it next week!!! Only in the last month has my weight and skin gone back to normal and before went on the pill, I wasn't feeling so hormonal. This time is our time, it has to be!!

We'll be stimming and going for EC at the same time..... Lots of PMA beatings for us. 

Xxxx


----------



## Zana37

Hello Girls!!!!

Sorry it has been a long time since i wrote but thing up here have been quiet hectic with all the Christmas preparations.

So going back a week or so ago... I made the scanning with the micro camera in my Uterus. Fortunately all was as it should be. The doctor was very pleased and said all was perfect. I must say that it was VERY painful that exam. You literally feel all the scratching of the camera across the uterus wall. I had plenty of local anesthesia but it hurt. The other good thing is that the exam made a scratching in the uterus and that helps the implantation to succeed  
Last Saturday I went to the clinic to collect the eggs. Initially they had seen  something like 8 follicles but only 3 eggs with good size were collected. The doctor said there were other eggs but with no good size so he didn't even wasted time on that. One of the eggs was located in a very difficult position, so the doctor asked me if he should just let it be or try to take it but that it. Would be painful. I told him he should also try to collect it too. It really hurt but it was worth it. So 3 eggs and yeasterday went for the insemination. I started with half hour acupuncture. I had around 20 needles in me...oh... It hurt when she placed them on me. There was also a warm lamp over my uterus area and the warm feeling and relaxing music was great. Right after I went for the insemination and we were told only two eggs were fertilized but the good news were that both of them were with very good quality and optimal in size and the division. So I have two little ones in the oven  Now I am praying for them to stick inside of me! So I am having the vaginal progesterone, plus a couple of days taking a medicine to prevent my immune system to attack my eggs and I am also injecting Ovitrelle 250 every other day from today until Saturday to ensure my uterus lining will be in even better condition for the egg. So I am praying that this will help. On the 5th of January I will know if I am pregnant or not! In the day when we celebrate the arrival of the 3 wisemen.  When they arrived with the gifts to baby Jesus! Oh how I wish they could arrive with a gift for me too...

Tomorrow all the family is coming to our place for Christmas and I will be cooking the ducks! The Christmas tree is also ready and I am in good cheers! Nervous with the waiting time I have ahead though!


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## Bexter83

Yay! Huge congrats on being PUPO Zana! It's sounds so positive and this really could be your Christmas wish coming true. It really sounds like you've got lovely embies in a perfect home and am praying for your success. I have a good feeling! 

Xxx


----------



## Zana37

How is the Christmas preparations for you?

*hopeful* how is it going with your treatment?

I hear about Prag here in the forum, I must say that I have read a lot about it. Many from the UK going there. Also to Greece

*Jules* how are you feeling now?

*Kristien* have you considered maybe a private clinic with a large bank on egg donors? My husband and I decided to take a loan for this treatment. It is a kind of an investment. If it doesn't work at least we know we have tried all options , financially it will be very hard for us because I am unemployed  

*Poppy* I read your post about your period. I understand you so well. My periods are always like that. I bleed so much that in the first days I use very large pads, those for people who cannot hold their urine    very embarrassed but is the best solution I have found!

Going out for some groceries


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## Zana37

Oh Bexter I hope so too! Thank you so much dear!


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## Zana37

By the way Bexter, they did assisted hatching in both eggs!  so I know this time they did all! Now is just about praying     and taking it easy here!


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## jules418

Hi ladies 

Yayyyyyyyy Zana, this is great news and has really made my day. All sounds very positive too. I too am hoping the wise men come knocking on your 'barn' door xxx

Wow lots of hormones although sometimes people just pee you off no hormones involved lol. Nice to have as an excuse though hee. I found when I was in buserelin I was either very tetchy or was laughing to the point if hysteria if I stated I couldn't stop to the point of nearly peeing. Ha ha kind of looking forward to that again I do like to laugh.

Doubt I will get on here for rest of the week so if I don't I want to wish you all a lovely Christmas and new year.  I tirelessly wish you all,  all the happiness next year. It has been an honour getting to know you all over the last few months and consider you all dear dear friends
I know we shall all met one day and till then love to you and yours and all the 'buns in your ovens '

Julie 
Xxxxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Yay Zana! Exciting times for you, sending you and your family best wishes and sticky thoughts! What a lovely way to start the new year

Yes Bexter makes it so much better that you are going to be going through this at the same time so we can pull each other through! I attempted the Dec/Jan cycle buddies but tbh I din't enjoy the chat or feel at ease like I do here - you ladies make me laugh and I feel like I know you so I can say whatever pops in my 'hormonal' (hehehehe) head


----------



## Bexter83

It really does sound very promising *Zana*! I'm so excited for you xxx

Ha ha ha only you *Jules* , I think your just naturally running on life on gas and air, you find everything funny! Hehe. Will miss you on here over the Christmas period but do have a wonderful Christmas.

Totally *Hopeful*, glad to be going through it with you.....we can be crazy hormonal women together, lol.

AFM I've shifted my bad mood earlier, it's my birthday today and few things wound me up but the hubby is home now and I've made a nice dinner for us to have and he came home with lots of marzipan dark chocolate stuff (Montezumas stuff too, omg it's like having mutilple orgasms  ha ha), so starting the night with some wine. Am definitely feeling better now.

Love to all xxx


----------



## BeckyA

Happy birthday *bexster*! Enjoy the rest of the night! X


----------



## hopeful1985

Aw Happy Birthday hun have a fab night x


----------



## Zana37

Happy Bday Bexter !


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## Bexter83

Awww thanks girlies , have eaten too much and drinking too much wine, ha ha xxx


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## tricia1012

Hello ladies , 

Bexter - happy birthday Hun I hope your having a lovely eve  xx

Zana- congrats on being pupo!! That's amazing news I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you   What a great way to start the new year  xx

Hopefull - I feel for you   I was a hormonal mess when I was on buserilin , rant away on here that's what we're here for I used to either cry my eyes out or want to kill everyone lol . It will all be worth it in the end  xx

Jules , poppy , lottie , kazza , 2 for joy , chixy, becky , and everyone else I hope you all have an amazing Christmas  can't believe its here already !! 

Love and baby dust to all xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

How u feeling Tricia? Xx


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## Bexter83

Wishing all of you lovely ladies a really wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year, may it bring us lots of happiness and joy!

Lots of love  

Xxxxxxxx


----------



## tricia1012

Hopeful - I'm ok thanks how are you feeling today? Hope your all having a lovely Christmas Eve xxx


----------



## Lottie1802

Bexter I hope you had an amazing birthday  

I just wanted to pop on here because I'll be busy eating turkey for the next three days, I hope you all have an amazing Christmas because you all deserve it! Love to all of you and your families x x x x x x


----------



## jules418

Hi ladies 

Quick Christmas update from me...... Pooh dog is back lol you may remember stories from October when we dog sat. 

Mother in law and husband are here with pooh dog and their other one lol with in 2 mins he had poohed on the carpet arghhh ha ha ha thank god for gin he he he he 

Happy birthday bexter for yesterday hope you had an amazing day xxxx

Love to all hope santa is kind 

Jules 
Xxxx


----------



## poppy05

Just popped on to wish my lovely girls a merry christmas hope you all have a fab day tomorrow, sending love to you all xxx


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## Bexter83

Merry Christmas Poppy, hope you have a really wonderful day xxx

Thanks girls, was nice thanks .

Lol Jules  pooh dog sounds like he needs a nappy!! Christmas at the Jules household sounds crazy fun, enjoy chicky xxx

Lottie, huge congrats on your second scan, what an amazing Christmas it is for you and your family!! Xxx

Have a great Christmas all xxxx


----------



## lambklly2

Hi ladies I know it's been a long time but just wanted to say I hope you all had a wonderful xmas and good luck to all the ladies who have treatment in the new year xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Hey Ladies hope you had an amazing Christmas! Would love to know how the christmas pregnancy surprise news went with your families!

AFM - just back from the hospital, my lining is thin and my ovaries are dormant so they have given me the thumbs up to start the stimms tomorro - 2 x 25 units of buserilin (one in am one in pm) 300ml Gonal F in pm and 150 ml of Menopur in pm. Four injections total. Feeling surprisingly ok. I haven't been so strict with myself this time round i have had my lil food cheats etc - i decided that I don't want to be uptight and stressed and miserable as this prob would have a more adverse effect than the occasional cheat would. feeling more positive and think that is most important - will let ya know how i get on - fingers crossed xxxx


----------



## Zana37

Hi ladies! I hope you had an amazing Christmas time. Here it was great.
So today it is precisely one week since I had the insimination. The last two days have been quiet uncomfortable to me with some cramping. I could not even sleep well at night. I hope all is ok though. Have any of you also experienced that when you got pregnant?

What are the plans for your New Year's Eve? 

Loads of hugs and smiles to all of you!


----------



## Bexter83

Morning ladies,

Great news *hopeful*! Sounds like it's all going to plan which is great! Fab that your being ok about the jabs to, really not long now til the jabs are over. Do you have a date for EC yet? You going to the lister? Totally know what you mean, am doing the same this cycle. I'll still have the usual needle fear but once get used to it, it's ok but am staying away from google this time and I know what to eat but not going to be so nuts about it all. I've even cut down on all the supplements.

Wow *Zana* can't believe your already halfway through your 2ww! I wouldn't read too much into symptoms Hun, lots of the ladies who got their BFPs all had v different symptoms. When's your OTD? Am praying for your BFP . 
How have you felt this cycle? We're you ok going into it?

AFM, I had the scratch done last night, was ok but no I didn't like it, couldn't wait for it to be over but if it helps implantation than I'm glad it was done. I'm pencilled in to start stimming on 1st but just waiting for my AF to arrive, which I hope is tomorrow, so then I will definitely start on 01/01. Have been dreading this cycle, just want it over and done with already. Glad to be off the pill now though, last week or so made me a bit crazy! Anyways, hoping this time is all of our time .


----------



## Zana37

Hi *Bexter* my OTD datais next Monday so I am crossing my fingers. I have felt quiet well during this cycle, it is just this kind of PMS pain I am feeling since two-3 days ago. I feel more tired too,mind of sleepy.


----------



## Mrs_F

Hi cycle buddies...
I read often, even if I don't post. Hoping you all had a lovely christmas, or as lovely as can be for those of you still reeling from sad news. I've been thinking of you often, and would like to wish all those cycling again lots and lots of luck. I hope 2015 is the year for us all. Zana especially, good luck with the 2ww, I hope the last few days fly by and bring you the news you long for.
With love, mrs f x


----------



## Bexter83

I'm hoping so much for your BFP Zana! This week will fly by and I sensed that you've been more calm this cycle, I know before you wanted to test regularly during your 2ww and was very anxious but you seem more at ease thus time. I'm praying for good news .

Hi *MrsF*, thanks for your thoughts . Hope you have had a lovely Christmas too. I had a nice Christmas thanks, just been a little anxious starting new cycle but though am dreading the jabs etc, today I've felt excited and although jumping at the deep end, there's a chance I could get what I want, as tbh I'm so happy for everyone and we've all had a journey to get what we so badly want, I've also felt more sad over the last couple of weeks as I realised that it would be now that I would be telling people and having lovely recognisable scan pictures but this way of thinking isn't productive. Xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Hello ladies , hope you've all had a lovely Christmas  

Bexter - well done with the scratch I know it's uncomfortable but if it helps it well worth it ! This will be your time Hun PMA !! All the way I'm here to get the stick out and give you a bashing whenever needed  lol . Can't believe you'll be starting in a couple of days time goes so quick ! Xx

Zana - best of luck   not long for you to wait now . Like Bexter said I wouldn't look into symptoms to much I tried not to but I know every little twinge makes you question it . I had a few days if cramping to around implantation so you never know   . Keeping my fingers crossed for you xx

Hopefull  - well done moving onto the next stage . I'm glad to hear your feeling positive def don't be too strict on yourself make sure you have treats  the more relaxed you are the better . Four injections def deserves some major treats  hope stimming goes well for you   Let us know how your getting on xx

Mrs f - hi nice to see you on here Hun , how is everything going ? Xx

Lottie - how are you ? I know this has been the best Christmas for you and it's set to be the best year  xx

Jules - how are you ? Hope you had a lovely Christmas I'm sure your hubby spoilt you rotten and rightly so  xx

Poppy - hi lovely , how are you ? I've seen a few of your status on ** so I know you've had a great Christmas  miss our lil chats on here xx

Kazza - hi how's everything been ? How's bump  xx

Becky - hi hope your having a lovely time on your hols xx

Chixy , 2 for joy , Kirstie and any other ladies I've missed hope you've all had a great time over Christmas I know it's been a tough one for some but new year new start !! 

Afm : had a very quiet Christmas which is odd for us but I really enjoyed the rest  we had a bit of a scare before Christmas where I had some spotting so we had a scan on Christmas Eve and thankfully all was ok, got to see both babies wiggling around . So I caved and told everyone I couldn't hold it on any longer , I think it's more difficult after ivf because you literally are counting every day !! 

I truly hope all of you get the BFP's you deserve this year , now Christmas has calmed down we will all be back on for our cycle buddies helping you all through it . I know how much support means can't wait to hear how your all getting on  

Love and baby dust to all xx


----------



## Kazza79

Hello all you lovely ladies 

Hope everyone has had a super fantastic Christmas  

What's everyone up to for new year   ?

Zana- I'm glad all is going well hun im sure it's going to be a great result like the others said you seem so much more relaxed this time and that's a great sign xxx

Bexter- I'm glad your scratch went well hunny and I hope you are feeling ok now bring on that AF and lets get your show on the road hunny we are there to help and I hope we can 😘 xxxx

Tricia- hi hun I'm doing ok thanks hun plodding alone lol im in maternity clothes already as iv ballooned being bump #3 lol I'm glad your scan went well and I know what you mean about bursting to tell everyone, we have still kept it to ourselves as we are still waiting for our scan   x

Mrs f- hihun how are you doing? X

Lottie- how are you hun? 

Jules- how was your Xmas hun? What are you up to tomorrow night? Xx

Poppy- how's things? Hope you are ok xxxx

Hello everyone else and hope you are all ok 

AFM Christmas went really well I entertained like I normally do lol Boxing Day we went to 2 houses and ate far to much lol but that's what Christmas is all about well that's what I'm telling myself lol still keeping bump quiet as we are still waiting for our scan booooo but won't be to long, off to the pub tomorrow for a party with the kiddies so I want to wish everyone a fantastic new year and bring on 2015 as its a great year for all the walnut whippers   xxxx love you all xxxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Awww thanks *Tricia* & *Kazza* , your so sweet means a lot and a good old PMA  Bashing may be needed at times .

Phew Tricia!! Really glad to hear that everything was fine when you had your scan with having that bit of spotting. It must had been so exciting telling all your wonderful news. Did your family know before? 
Lol Tricia, i don't think you'll be having any more quiet Christmases  now.

Christmas at the Kazza household sounds crazy but fun, glad you had a lovely day. Not long til you have your next scan and can share your news.

How is everyone else?

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year, may 2015 bring us all bumps and babies, love to all xxxx


----------



## Lottie1802

Hey ladies!

Wow I can't believe time is moving so fast and some of you are already starting your next tx! 2015 is going to be your year  

Bexter glad you got over the scratch ok , keep brave through those injections, it will be so worth it , no sad thoughts just PMA

Zana I can't believe you are so far ahead, I'm so excited to hear your result  

Hopeful good to hear your more relaxed, I really didn't freak out about anything I ate , like you say it adds to the stress and misery lol sending you positive vibes for your result  

Poppy I hope you had a lovely new year , your photos looked good! 

Tricia I hope you are now enjoying that pregnancy ....if it's anything like mine you'll be constantly throwing up lol

AFM thanks for all the messages, we had a lovely Christmas, we went for an extra scan xmas eve so we could tell our families and yep we made all of them cry! Now it appears to be all go in my house , the Father in law was round yesterday hanging doors and building a new loft hatch and fixing electrics so we have no diy jobs left when babies arrive  next job new stair handrails and carpets ! Yikes so much for me putting my feet up.
Well I'm 11 weeks tomorrow , next scan is 15th jan so I'm looking forward to telling our friends , I'm tired of keeping this a secret now 

Sending you all lots of love and prayers that you all get what you deserve


----------



## BeckyA

Happy New Year whippers!!

Hope you have all had a lovely festive break, exciting for those of you who have been sharing news with your families! Good luck for your next scans.

Fingers crossed for next monday *zana*!

*hopeful*, how are getting on?

*bexster*, we are twotiming these ladies, lol, but i will still keep posting here as well.

AFM, back home in Spain now after lovely xmas at home with friends and family. Got another week off work so going to enjoy some time with DH. Then hopefully starting stimms in 2 weeks time. Hoping it flies by!

Xx


----------



## hopeful1985

Hey Becky im doing it tough but getting there thanks. 11 days to EC so gotta stay strong.

How r u guys? Xx


----------



## tricia1012

Happy new year everyone  

Hopeful - big   keep strong Hun are you finding the jabs hard ? Just keep the goal in sight   

Becky - ooh are you and Bexter cheating on us lol   glad you had a lovely Christmas enjoy your next few days off work xx

Lottie - that's great your getting everything sorted I was just thinking how much we need to sort !! All in good time I guess xx

Bexter - yea my immediate family knew already  I'm a big mouth lol . How's it going with you are you starting? Xx


----------



## jules418

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

Hello Ladies

wowee2015 already how did that happen haa haa. Sounds like you all had a lovely christmas and lots of news sharing too which is fab  

Tricia - seriously hun I am going to just pop you in a box til July haa haa. Hope you are ok and looking forward to next scan yayy. 

Lottie - glad things are moving along diy wise at your house but make sure you just supervise!!!!

Kazza - not long til your scan now so exciting, make sure you have a nice rest too kids will be back at school soon so have some chill time. 

BeckyA - did you have a lovely time back home? Bet you missed DH though and glad to be back with him now. 

Bexter - how are you have you started stimms now? 

Hopeful - Gosh not long for you now, how are you feeling? 

Zana - only afew days til OTD, I agree you definitley are more coming across as more relaxed, no pint in getting worked up as every cycle/pregnancy/person is different. I have good vibes for you this time... How are the cakes coming along? 

MrsF - lovely to see you on here don't be a stranger xxxx

Lambklly2 - how are you hun - hope you had a lovely christmas and New year, sorry to see about your MC    will you be doing another cycle? 

Poppy - hope you had a fabulous christmas and New year xxx

Kirstie and Chixy hope you are both well and looking forward to seeing you both tomorrow xxxx

Hi to any one I have missed. 

AFM - I had a nice Christmas and New Year. I broke up from work on the monday afternoon and went in to christmas check list mode. picked up turkey wrapped presents - set out spare bed, tidied and cleaned house from top to bottom and it was gleaming yay me. literally 1 min after inlaws arrived their little dog popped on the crapert MIL trod in it then when I told her kept moving so trod it in all down the hall way. She then picked it up and through the tissue and items in the kitchen bin!!!!! so I then emptied the bin and had to disinfect it and scrub the crapet as she just wiped it with a baby wipe!!! seriously some people haa haa. any way poo dog as he shall now be known did 3 more pooh's and a wee in the house during their stay.....may I add their last stay!!! 
All that aside we had a lovely time (bit of MILdrama but to be expected) and some lovely gifts. MIL gave us some money and a big cuddley teddy bear saying it is for baby cuddles and money to help with IVF which was really lovely and made me cry. 
Boxing day DH was playing Rugby so we all went to watch and DH's auntie and uncle came over too. Lots of drinking that day ooo I felt rough on sat morning haa haa. 
Sat DH and I went over to my parents where we had a lovely relaxing stay, no poo but mavis our youngest dog had a little fit which was upsetting she is ok now but i just want to hug and carry her every where i go. 
New Years eve we had a quiet one together, went for some food then to see the Hobbit (loved it) and then home to watch another film with the doggies and see in the New year, so all in all a lovely lovely time. 
Back at work today though booooo (hense the essay lol) 

Got consent signing on 22nd so less than 3 weeks away now. Feel super fat so the diet is getting started (100% from monday) 

Lots of love hope I haven't made you all fall asleep hee hee
Missed you all over the festivities. 

Jules
xxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Hey ladies 

How are you all?

Lol Becky , we are such two timers, hehe! Really lovely to be cycling with you again, it really is. It's the Beckys turn this time&#128521;. Glad you had a nice Christmas with your family but must be nice to be back in Spain (no Rioja now though&#128078.

Thanks *Lottie* & *Tricia* for your support , means loads xxx. Lottie, must had been such an emotional yet magical day for you, so exciting!!! Sounds like your keeping yourself v busy with baby prep too. Ha ha Tricia, it's hard to keep a secret, especially if some if your family knew what you were going through, as they probably would had wanted to know what the result was straight after the 2ww.

Not long now *Zana*! Hope your keeping well xxx

How are you getting on *hopeful*?

The scratch was nasty if I had to be honest! But first jabs last night was completely fine&#128077;. Am feeling more calm this time around. Xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Yay Bexster on your first Jab!!!! wooo!! Good luck hun, how you feeling?

Tricia and Lottie hope everything is ok in your worlds and the babies are growing strong.

Oh Jules you made me laugh! my lil doggy came with us to a friends house for a sleepover for new years eve and the little devil did a massive wee on their floor 5 mins after us arriving! Mortified - she never does that! Thank god they have laminated floors sooo embarrassing! her kids loved having the dog there and despite that one mishap she was good as gold. I was surprised because she hasn't been around kids for prolonged periods and it is ridiculously excitable but she was so gentle with their two year old bless her.

We had a lil drama - started my stimms on tuesday - four injections - ouchie but ok all newly opened. Anyone who has gonal F knows that the pen holds 900 ml and my dose is 300ml a day - so each pen is three doses. I opened it new on tues did my injection - all fine, Took it to my mates with my other injections (2 diff bags - one refridgerated and one room temp) - set the plunger to 300 ml - start injecting and plunger stops - won't press - pulled it out and looked it had given me 50 mls only - looked at liquid and none left!!!!!!!!! It must not have been filled fully when it was made. The Gonal F is precise you twist it until the correct dosage appears in the window then plunge... simples. So I know I didn't over inject - cue ultimate panic - my hubby had to drive home and get another one - 45 min journey each way although he managed it in an hour so my gonal F was an hour late :? doubt it will make much diff but sooo frustrating plus that meant new years eve was 5 jabs not 4.

Really annoyed that it was incorrect, but not sure what I can do about it. I have checked and I have exactly the right amount left of all injections - no spares - so hopefully no more surprises. Have my scan on Tues - drinking water like mad.

Hello and happy new year to everyone xxxxx


----------



## tricia1012

Jules - you do make me laugh ! I would have gone mad with the dog poop lol ! Aww your poor fur baby i hate it when mine get I'll I don't want to leave there side I'm glad to hear she's ok , big cuddles . Sounds like you had a lovely Christmas and New Years  the next three weeks will fly by   Xx

Hopeful - don't stress at all about taking the gonal f a bit late I did that a few times on this cycle they say it doesn't make any difference as long as it's not hours  and hours apart . So annoying with the pen as you say they must not have filled it fully when it was made , I doubt it be something you could complain about though they will prob say they always check them . So annoying though considering how expensive they are !!  Your very brave doing 4 a day 5 on ny !!!  Glad there going ok for you though . Keep up that water  xx

Bexter - we will let you off for cheating on us lol , can't believe you've started again!! How exciting  I have a good feeling for you this will be your cycle   Hope the jabs continue to go well for you   Xx

Afm : 3 more days of those gestone jabs it's been a long 14 weeks of them I can't imagine how many injections I've done this cycle it's crazy !! But worth every single ounce of pain , whenever your feeling a bit fed up or down just keep thinking of those babies your making ladies . Were all a lot stronger than we think , I never would have imagined I would be strong enough to get through ivf let alone 3 times but it all works out eventually . Although I have turned into the biggest worrier in the world - Lottie can back me up on that lol .

Love and babydust to all of you xxx


----------



## Bexter83

Hi ladies,

*Jules*!! Missed you girl! Omg you never fail to entertain ! Christmas sounded crazy in your household . Yay! You start in 3 weeks, really not long now. How are you feeling?

Awww thanks so much *Tricia*   That means loads, I really really hope so too. i thought of you and those gestone jabs today, I don't know how you have done it but really hats off to you. 3 more and that's it!! That's a cause for celebration&#127881;.

*Lottie*, I hope the morning sickness gets better and stops v soon .

*Hopeful*, how typical that the one pen which is duff is the one which was used to do away! Don't worry, a few hours on that one occasion wouldn't had done anything. How are you getting on? When will you be going for EC do you think? Mine should be around 14th.

*Zana*, how you doing hun?

How are you *Kirstie*? Haven't heard from you in a while.

AFM, so I put my Emla cream on 2 hrs before, having my top tucked into my bra he whole time, even whilst cooking dinner and after all that, I wondered why I felt the needle and the sting a bit of the jabs (solution) etc and after all of that, on both jabs my hubby jabbed outside where the cream had been! Anyways it's minor, didn't really hurt but did make me laugh . I ended up getting the zita west visualisation relaxation thing on iTunes ( my friend was really recommending it the last time) and I almost fell asleep listening to it.

Hope everyone is keeping well .

Xxxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Stupid machine! Smiley face , not laughing, that would had been weird! Lol


----------



## hopeful1985

Hi bexster. My EC is booked for 12th. I have scans on tues and fri but all being well the following mon i will be doing it. Im currently laid up in bed feeling awful. Migraine and flu. Hope to god it passes as know they wont knock me out if im poorly


----------



## Bexter83

You poor thing Hopeful . Glad your resting up, so hopefully it will pass soon. Wishing you a speedy recovery and thankfully you'll have enough time to be back to your usual self by EC. Are you at the lister? Xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

No hun croydon university hospital for EC and was the bridge centre for ET but they have closed for renovations so its gonna be at the womens centre for ET x


----------



## Bexter83

Cool👍, really not long now! We'll be on our 2ww together. Praying this is our time!  Xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Me too hun. Hopefully we can keep each other from going nuts x


----------



## macca21

Hi Ladies have not wrote for a while so thought id pop on and say Hi, hope you all had a lovely Christmas. I Just wont to say Good Luck to all those that have started cycling again stay strong and be positive, this year is your year  xx


----------



## Bexter83

Zana, praying you got your BFP this morning    Xxxxxx


----------



## Zana37

Good morning beautiful ladies!

And so I tested today with the urine test the clinic gave me and the result was *POSITIVE*. I am very happy about but I must say that especially over the past week my body felt very different. I was kind of suspicious. So 3 days ago I bought several tests, in all 4, including the Clearblue. 3 of the tests came positive but the very cheap one from the pharmacy came negative. So I was with my emotions quiet reserved. In fact I was very nervous when I should test this morning. So my clinic test came positive and because I had still of the very cheap tests from the pharmacy I decided to try that one again and it was AGAIN negative, only if I would look at the test with a strong light I could see a very, very faint pregnancy line. Meaning the test is not yet detecting the pregnancy hormone.

I called the clinic and will have the first scanning on the 27th. Now I am hoping this time things will be different and no MC will happen. I am constantly going to the toilet to pee and that is annoying as I almost don't sleep because of that. It Is weird... It is like one part of me is afraid of celebrating or rejoice about the pregnancy. Is like I am afraid of Mc again  Do you know that feeling?

Girls thank you so much for your prayers, thoughts and positive feelings. It really helped me. And I will continue here cause I have learned so much from you during all the time in the forum  ! Thank you again and I am praying that all of us will succeed in our pregnancy dreams!


----------



## Bexter83

Zana I'm over the moon for you!!!! Huge congrats to you, it's been such a rough ride for you and I'm so happy for you! I felt so confident for yiu this time, you just seemed different this time.
Those cheap tests are cheap for a reason, they cannot detect the hormone as quickly, so don't worry you are pregnant hun.
I can understand your worry and I'd be the same, I know a lot of ladies fear this but just do everything you can to be good to yourself and believe that this is your time! 
So do you have 1 or 2 embies?
Xxxx


----------



## Zana37

*Bexter * you are very right in all you mentioned! And yes, I have two embies!

I hope for both of them 

Who is having the next ET? Is it *Hopeful* or *Jules*?


----------



## Bexter83

Awww little twinnies for you Zana! 2 cakes for you to make!! 

If everything is going as it should in there, I should be going for EC next Wednesday but I'll keep you guys updated. Yep Hopeful is on the 12th I believe? So exciting!! I just hope we have the same news as you. 

How many eggs did they retrieve and did you A&E a 2,3 or 5 day transfer?

Xxxxx


----------



## BeckyA

Congrats *zana*! Fantastic news! Xx


----------



## hopeful1985

Yay amazing news Zana... congratulations to you and your family. Im sure its natural to feel apprehensive after everything we go through but keep positive hun...It will all be ok xx

My EC is next monday 12th xx


----------



## K.Notman

Good afternoon all! Well having hosted for Christmas and New Year I'm now back to reality. Spent the last hour catching up on your threads and I'm glad to hear that everyone had a good festive season.

*Bexter & Hopeful*, I hope your follies are all doing what they should ready for EC on 12th & 14th. Not long now although I'm sure to you it seems ages away! Keep calm and carry on as they say. How are you feeling now Hopeful? Stay rested and look after yourselves. I hope Bexter is staying chilled with Zita!
*Zana*, massive CONGRATULATIONS to you for your BFP for 2 little ones. Snuggle in there now and make yourselves at home! I hope you can look forward to your scan on 27th with positivity. I know for all of us it's seems to be one-day-at-a-time but this is a great start to the New Year for you.
*Tricia*, yay no more jabs! Well done you for making it through. As you say, all of this stress, worry and overall effort is well worth it for the end prize.
*Jules*, so it's first day of healthy, clean living! Me too, so it was lovely to have our last yummy treat lunch on Saturday. I'm still using up a few treats in the house but will be doing my first post-Christmas Weigh-In on Friday so want to show some restraint!
*Chixy*, It was great catching up again and hearing all your news. Have a good week back at work and getting back into the swing of things.
*Becky*, Glad you had a good trip to the UK and v. jealous that you have another week off. I'm sure it doesn't take long in the routines back at work to feel like you've not been away though! Not long until your next cycle too. I know we all talked about the January starters but it's now here so I'm thinking of you.
*Lottie*, It's wonderful to have the support of your family doing the DIY and that you could announce your news. Your life will now be a case of waiting for each next scan and trying not to worry in the meantime. I hope you can find positive distractions and enjoy yourself.
*Kazza*, I don't know about maternity clothes for ballooning bump but I could do with elastic waistline for the Christmas food! I hope you are well and plodding along nicely with Number 3!
*Tricia*, I'm glad you scan proved that your spotting was nothing to worry about. It's typical of all of us to feel apprehensive about every little thing so the reassurance is essential. 
*Mrs F* it's good to hear from you and know that you are getting on well. Glad you had a good break and are feeling positive for the New Year- lots to be excited about.
*Lambkelly2*, Happy New Year to you and I'm thinking of you too.
*Poppy, Macca* and all of the other lurkers out there from the Whippers -HAPPY NEW YEAR!

AFM, it's been a busy fortnight and now into another busy one with final preparations for Panto opening on the 16th. I spent any free time I had in the break working on the stage set so it's getting there. I did manage to have some time relaxing though and have some quality time with family and friends. I've eaten and drunk too much but really don't care. I know how to get back into the healthy living but no massive pressure. 
As far as fertility treatment goes, I've written to the Redditch & Bromsgrove CCT (replacing Worcestershire PCT) to ask about how NHS funding might be transferred to a clinic with a shorter waiting list. I'll wait to hear what they have to say before getting too excited though. I'm considering going to CARE in Nottingham as they advertise 'no waiting lists' and have a very good reputation, so we may be able to get the ball rolling earlier than we thought. I know this means starting everything again and I'll probably need to ask for a copy of my notes from BWH but I'm going to wait for the reply before wasting time, money, emotions etc on pursuing anything else. I'll let you know how it goes obviously but until then, I'm back to 'normal', lol! I'm still following and supporting all of your treatments, especially those who are cycling again. Fingers crossed and baby dust etc!
Love to all
Kirst


----------



## hopeful1985

going for my scan tomorrow to see if i have any follies... very nervous - this was the point at my last cycle where they said 'oh dear doesn't look promising may have to cancel this cycle' and they cancelled it after the 2nd scan showed no improvement - 2nd scan booked for friday... ahh

sat here thinking of all the issues we face - not enough follicles, or sperm defrosts and is unusable - may have follicles but no eggs - may have eggs but may not fertilise - may fertilise but might not stick...ahhhh non stop migraine since fri doesn't help - my brain is fried!

Sorry for the pity me post - driving myself crazy!


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## Zana37

*Bexter* they retrieved only 3 good eggs even though I had more eggs but the doctor didn't want to collect them because they were a small size ones. From the 3 eggs only two fertilized and divided well. They said I could freeze one but we decided to use both eggs.

I am experience a great amount of lower back pain and a bit of constipation that causes me a lot of ovary pain. They told me to take some mild painkillers but if tomorrow it does not improve they want to scan me as my ovaries could be swollen. Hopefully all is ok, at least they didn't sound worried at all. So far it has helped a little.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

I will definitely be following all your treattments *Kristie, Bexter, Hopeful and Jules*. *Jules* you are also starting in January isn't?

At the time I am focusing in eating healthy and looking for jobs before the belly starts growing


----------



## poppy05

Hi girls


Firstly happy new year ladies, wishing you all a wonderful 2015, may all your dreams be fulfilled   


Sorry i've not really been about much, ive had a very busy christmas, we haven't really been at home, and i admit i did struggle a little over christmas, we were supposed to announce our pregnancy on christmas day, and obviously that didn't work out, i was ok, but i kept away from ff, as i didn't feel like reading baby/tx things 
but i hope you all had a brilliant time,   


zana, wow amazing news to come back to, the first bfp of the year, and lets hope the rest of us who are cycling again will follow you    congratulations hun


bexter when do you start hun?   


jules you ok babe? have you got a start date?   


Hi everyone else, hope you are all ok   


AFM, starting to think about fet now, so i think im going to sort my bloods out in a couple of weeks with the idea of continuing onto natural fet    im so so so tired of all this now, i just want it over, im sick of tx and the anticipation of it all, im now in my 19th year of trying become a mummy, this is it now, i want to know if im getting a baby or a bmw!!!!!!!   


whippers chat will resume on wed if you ladies still want to get together for a chat? xx


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## Kazza79

Hello everyone 

Zana- congratulations hun I'm so so pleased for you, now enjoy hun   Xxx

Bexter- so you started on the 1/1 omg sooo excited for you, how are you feeling? 

Jules- your Christmas doggy storie really made me laugh lol bless ya I would of gone mad lol so you are very calm lol xxx

Hello everyone else and hope everyone is ok xxxxx


----------



## tricia1012

Just popped on quick 

Zana yay !! That's the best news I'm so so happy for you !! 

Will pop on tomorrow for a good read through and some personals big shock but I'm ill again lol , where that box I should lock myself in for the next 6 months !!


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## jules418

Morning Ladies, 

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY ZANA, what fantastic news, I am so blumming pleased for you I truely am. Like bexter said you seemed different this time around more relaxed i guess, you may not have been but your posts came across that way haa haa. 

TRICIAAAAAAA....... get in that box young lady haa haa. hope you feel better soon sending you mending hugs   

Hi Poppy, hope you are ok, I know what you mean about the big reveal at christmas it did hit home a bit but the wine helped  when do you think you will have ET? 

Hopeful, hope your scan goes well today I am sending you positive vibes, let us know how you get on. 

Bexter - how are you getting on with the jabs? 

Kirstie, lovely to see you posting again hun, you can't leave us haa haa. Good on you for being proactive and contacting the CCT fingers crossed they come back with some good news. Looking forward to the panto  

Kazza, it turned out the poop was the least of our troubles all I am saying in MIL and the poop seemed like a dream haa haa. Hope you well xxx

Lottie, how is the DIY going?

BeckyA, did you have a lovely christmas here and New Year back in Spain? hope you are well have you started your next treatment yet? 

Hi Macca, hop eyou are ok and had a lovely christmas and New Year

Hi Mrsf hope all is well with you xxx 

Hi to everyone else hope i haven't forgotten too many  

AFM - I have a consent signing 22nd Jan, from there I shall be doing a Long Protocol. will have scratch done on day 14 of next cycle (day 1 will roughly be 26th Jan) 3 weeks of Buserelin (hoping not 4 like last time) then will have a higher dosage of Menopur and will be monitored from day 6 of stims rather than day 9 to ensure i dont over stim. I shall be on higher progesterone but not sure what yet we will need to discuss this but i assume gestone injections. I also need to ask about the time lapse machine and what cost that would be on top. 

so date wise assuming that all goes to plan and no delays (yeah right) Dr would start 16th Feb, stims 5th March, EC 16th March, ET 20th March
obviously this is IF AF arrives on time, IF DR only lasts 3 weeks, IF dont over stim and IF  i get to 5 day blast 

Jules
xxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Hi ladies, lovely to hear from you all .

*Zana*, hope your still beaming like a Chesher cat!

Hey *Kirstie*, really well done for looking into other places/options to progress sooner. I know it will happen and you'll be cycling agin before you know it. You've got skills to the bills girl! You totally get involved and make things happen. Keep us updated. I think you should put your panto on YouTube so we can all enjoy it. I wish I lived closer so I could come and watch. 
Lol, zita has totally chilled me out or someone has been putting chill pills in my tea because I feel a million times calmer this time around.

*Hopeful*, have you been to your appointment yet? I really hope it went/goes well, fingers are crossed Hun.

Happy New Year *Poppy*, 2015 will be your year! 
I can understand that it must had been a very sensitive and challenging time for you and your partner over Christmas. Next Christmas there will extra stockings to fill. Elsa & Olaf will be here . So really not long now til your FET!
I did feel quite sad over Christmas, I think it hits home or more like a big punch in the face  over these festive times. 
I had the scratch last Monday and I started stimming last Thursday. I should be going for EC on 14th or 15th.

Hey *Kazza*, how are you hun? Hope your keeping well . 
Yep I started stimming on 1st, it's all going so fast really......I will not be saying this during my 2ww . I've been feeling strangely alright and not emotional, just normal really. Bit spooky actually!!

Awww Tricia, you poor thing! Honestly, I think you've had it all now. Hope you start to feel better real soon. You think it's down to those steroids which lowered your immune system? So glad those gestone jabs are finished for you now, well done for getting through that&#127942;.

Hey *Jules*, yay!! Not long till you start now. Sounds good with the extra monitoring, I much rather that too. Keep us updated hun.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

AFM, the jabs have been fine, the sting a little bit but nothing to worry about. I had my first scan and bloods last night, I was a slow starter last time, so am not stressing but my lining is a little thin (am on the pineapple juice from now on.....probably doesn't do anything but hey ho, it tastes good). Im on Menopur 450 and was having to do it in 2 full to the brim jabs but found out I can use just 1 solution to 3 powder vials, so that will be nice, just the one normal size jab&#128077;&#128077;. I start Cetrotide also tomorrow (6-7 days). I get my blood result today (fingers crossed) and my next appointment at clinic is on Thursday evening, so hopefully things are going to plan.

Xxxx


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## hopeful1985

WOOOHOOO my body cooperated Yay!!!! 10 follies of a good size and a coupla small ones!!! Delighted!!!


Thank u soo much for the support ladies xxxxx


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## Bexter83

Wonderful news Hopeful!!

On my down to the clinic yesterday, listening to BBC 3 county's radio debates (s!?# man I'm getting old ), ok was before I can get into the land of XFM, I promise!! Anyways, it was about the changes being made to the nhs cut backs and how all hospitals in the UK will soon be only offering 1 IVF cycle and not upto 3 and honestly peoples comments were so ignorant and just damn right stupid, totally got my blood boiling. People saying things like if you can't have children there are so many unwanted children that we should have them. Also saying the government shouldn't pay for this service as we are over populated already. The thing is, half these people are probably rinsing the benefits system to fund for them to pop out kids left right and centre, when's there plenty of free contraception options out there. Anyways, was well annoying anyway!


----------



## jules418

ooooooo makes me mad,

Steps on soap box!!!!! why shoudl we not get the chance to experience giving life.... i didn't chose to have fertility problems. My life style hasn't caused this issue. 

If I smoked 100 **** a day and the got lung cancer I would get treatment and no one would argue ignorant people make me so angry. if you haven't experienced the heartache and stress of infertility then there is no comment as the facts are not known. 

any one watch too fat to work benefits last night grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I pay my taxes and have worked since 16 luckily to date I haven't utilised the NHS until now. I don't begrudge anyone getting medical help no matter what the reason and what the cause (ok that girl who has had 5 boob jobs may be cutting it fine though) so many people happy to b! tch about people so they can get on with the stupid little lives

and breathe....

off soap box now lol.... 

spreading joy and cheer     

Jules
xxxxx


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## jules418

HUGE congrats hopeful wonderful news I bet you are over the moon - what a huge progression this is for you both xxxxx

jules
xxxx


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## Bexter83

Jules you are fab! I was actually smiling whilst reading your rant! But it's true though. 
Stupid people! Grrrrr .

Ha ha love your bum wiggles   .

Still waiting for my call from the clinic about my blood test result last night and I've got few calls to make to agents and I know what will happen, she'll call whilst I'm on the phone. Life!!!😩🔫

Xxxx


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## K.Notman

Woo Hopeful, that's great news. Now take some of Bexter's chill pills and enjoy the ride!

Bexter, I love the idea that you could take chill pills!  I'm sure 'walnut whips' have a similar effect so will pop them instead, lol!  I would be ranting at my radio too.  Some issues are really misunderstood by many and yet they feel they should mouth off an opinion. I can't watch/listen to programs like that as they annoy me so much.   I'm actually a bit nervous that the new CCG will say there is no funding for us to have a second go on the NHS but I'm trying not to stress over that!
The Panto usually gets filmed (very low quality!) so if you give me your address I could send you a copy if you are up for a giggle!.  There is one part I have a love song sung to me and I hate standing there squirming wishing the ground would swallow me up!  It's all good fun though- "oh yes it is!"
Jules will have to give us a review ha ha ha! 

BTW I forgot to say in my post yesterday- my GP (who I think is useless!) wrote my prescription for HRT to have between cycles and I went to Boots on Christmas Eve to pick it up. It turns out that the manufacture don't make that one anymore! I was mad!  Just went through Christmas with no medication, no period etc and phoned GP yesterday.  I had to leave a message saying I needed a new prescription and am waiting to hear back from him.  My lack of confidence in him is even greater now! I don't know how long I'll be without estrogen but i hope it doesn't mess up my ability to get a thick lining again- not impressed!


----------



## BeckyA

Great news *hopeful*! Now onto EC, when is it happening?

Wow *bexster*, you are flying along in your tx! Cetrotide tomorrow, good luck! Have you had it before?? Don't worry or freak out if you get a itchy rash like reaction afterwards like you have been stung by a bee. This always happens to me. I have an ice pack ready and I put this on straight away for about half an hour to subsidise the reaction.

Good to hear from you *kirstie* and *poppy*.

I had a lovely xmas and new year thanks for asking *jules*. Although like you an others a bit bittersweet as was always thinking in the back of my mind "what if..."
Onwards and upwards though! Good that you have dates and plans, that always helps.

Hello ladies *kazza*, *tricia*, *macca*, *lottie*, hope your bumps are coming along nicely!

AFM, am itching to get started! Just waiting for AF to show up which should be a week on Friday.


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## tricia1012

Hopeful - well done   That's a great amount of follies so glad things are going well yay !! Keep up the water  xx

Zana - how are you feeling is it sinking in now ?  xx

Poppy - lovely to have you back on here  not the same without you   Chin up Hun like I said were all here for you , this will be your time !! xx 

Bexter - hope your results came back good today   .  Ooh that made me angry those people's comments !! so its ok for my tax to pay for someone's new boobs or for someone who can't be bothered to work but to help out an actual medical condition doesn't deserve funding !!! Wow major angry face going on here , I could go on for hours  

Jules - hello lovely  it won't be long coming around at all   Good to hear there increasing your progesterone I really believe it helps def go with gestone if they will let you , it's the only sure way to guarantee your absorbing the full dose . I'll be keeping everything crossed for you this cycle   Xx

Kirstie - hi Hun how are you? That was bad of your gp I hope it doesn't effect anything for you. Is there any chance you can find another gp in your area ? You shouldn't have to worry about these things or chasing letters or anything like you have in the past . Anything to make life easier for you is worth it so I would change if you can or at least complain to yours , make it clear how unhappy you are xx


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## tricia1012

Didn't mean to post when I did lol oops !! 

Kazza, macca, lottie hope your all well to   Xx

Afm : I'm not going to post any pregnancy related things on here so if you see me around on ff don't think I'm cheating I would never leave my whippers  
I just want to be here for you all on your cycles I've been through a lot and might be able to help advise you with yours . I can't wait to  hear you all get your bfps and we're off to a great start already  with zana , many more to follow   

Love and baby dust to all xxx


----------



## Lottie1802

Apologies for neglecting you all! I am back at work and as usual it's back to consuming my life!

Zana !!!! Massive congratulations! I'm over the moon for you   Now you take care of yourself , that's an order

Jules, I couldn't bring myself to watch that lol   My doctors wouldn't give me a thing and now I'm broke (but happy) but you will get your happy ever after and I can't wait to celebrate for you x x x

Bexter glad your treatment is going well , keep strolling on through and you'll soon be poas !!

K.Notman sorry to hear about your meds mess up , I hope it all got sorted for you  

Poppy they are just saving the best til last , that baby is coming and you'll make a great mum! I'll be there to listen every step  

AFM rushed off my feet back at work , I fly out to Prague in two weeks for a meeting , they really never let me rest lol musn't grumble though. I get to finish the bum bullets Friday woohoo I may have a cream soda in a wine glass to celebrate #crazycat


----------



## hopeful1985

Oh no zana u poor thing!!! Hope u r feeling better soon, sounds awful!! At least u have comfort that the docs are on top of things and are taking u seriously. We all pray for a doc like that! Thank u for ur kind words and advice. Any suggestions of food and supplements will be greatly appreciated xxxx


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies, loving having the old team back!

How are we all?

*Zana* how awful! Really glad you feel better today, must had been terrible feeling like that but your on the mend now and the infection will soon pass and your controlling the sickness feeling. Get well soon hun .
I'm still just over the moon for you, I think your journey just really touched me and I'm just so happy for you. I can understand all your worries and I know all the ladies have felt a constant worry since their BFPs but just try your hardest to relax and find ways to turn any negativity off. 
My last cycle I was told by the lister that the only 2 eggs which fertilised (retrieved only 4 and 1 of them immature) was of low quality, totally left me feeling hopeless as you could imagine but my review the consultant said they were 8 cell embryos but was v disappointed with number retrieved considering my age at the time was 30 and AMH is 16.5. I'm hoping all the different changes this time will get me more eggs and get them to stick.
We're there any foods which you had which you feel made any difference or cut certain things out?

Thanks *BeckyA* for the heads up on the Cetrotide, I'll get an ice pack on the ready. How are you?

*Kirstie*, your GP sounds like a !! I know it's more work now but like Tricia said, you think changing your GP could be a good idea?

AFM, start Cetrotide tonight. Been totally fine about the jabs, actually I think I've turned into a freak! I actually look forward to them now, could be the countdown to be closer to the finishing line. I'm on a high dose of Menopur and does have a sting or a burn but it doesn't bother me. I worked myself up a bit before I started the jabs and I turned into Jimmy from the Jungle and went into warrior mode and been fine .

xxxxx


----------



## Zana37

Yes I followed a protocol suggested by an American midwife who wrote a book on essential oils. She had a chapter on fertility and a friend of mine sent me info on that after my last failed attempt.

Here are the pages of the book. The supplements she recommended are from a company named DoTerra, the products are no cheap but work amazing and were one of the few containing Q10 which I learned about the benefits for infertility here in the forum. Read what she says, to me it made sense so I literally followed her protocol after the last BFN.


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## Zana37

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## Zana37

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## Zana37

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## Zana37

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## Zana37

I first did the cleansing detox like she suggests in the book. Then discontinued the detox and kept only with the supplements and the early morning grape fruit drops. There are many supplements out there but I really like those. I bought yesterday more, they actually are shipped from the UK.


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## Bexter83

Thanks for those Zana , I'm so glad it has worked for you. 
I was a bit supp mad before and as I was slowly running out of them I stopped buying the ones I was recommended to be honest, I had been on these things for a year and with all the costs etc, I have just waited for them to finish. I'm hoping its a sign because most of them finish this cycle  . I know there are crack addicts and all sorts who give birth but I know I haven't blessed in the fertility department, so I know I have to work that million times harder. I do believe in the food and supps due to hormone imbalances which go on in the body (that's been my battle). Was interesting with the food because 90% of the time that's how I eat, leafy greens, nuts etc. 
one supp I was disappointed to stop was the coenzyme Q10, as after 3-4 weeks I was having a weird reaction to it, went to the doctors and I stopped taking it and after 2 days I was fine again. I had researched it and was advised to take a v high dose of it, so I bought 600mg (wasn't cheap). Anyways, have decided that if this cycle is unsucesssful, I'll buy a lower dosage of that one and hopefully won't have a strong reaction to that one but only going to this, pregnacare with the omega bit in and bee pollen. Am not going to buy anymore of the other supps I have been taking. 

Cxxxxc


----------



## Kazza79

Hello whippers 

Great to hear everyone like we used to be be 😀 love it lol 

I was just taking prenacare and still am tbh I read loads on vitamin and supplements but most say they are just added expense but not extra benefits but everything is worth trying.

I'm now 35 and I had a AMH of 2.24 and only got 4 eggs which only 3 fertilised and only 1 got to blasto stage on day 5 but like everyone was telling me it's quality not quantity so try not to worry over numbers. 

Hope everyone is ok xxxx


----------



## poppy05

Hi ladies


Just a quickie


zana hunni, ive removed the posts of the supplement pics you posted, ff do not encourage advertisment of any kind of medication, you are welcome to post which vitamins you use, but i removed the pics as i dont think posts like that are allowed on the site? hope you dont mind,   


ALso im popping into chat if anyone is about


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## Zana37

Good morning all 

*Poppy* no worries about removing the supplement pictures. It was not my intention to promote the brand but to emphasise their content.

*Kazza* no doubt that vitamines are an extra cost but it is all a question of how much you need them. I started my fertility treatments I was a very healthy 34 years old woman. Very sporty and healthy but yet several doctors started to point that yes, it was not about the quantity of eggs (I would never develop that many big follicles and always very few eggs) that I only needed 1 to get pregnant, but my few eggs were not of good quality in regards to "biological material" the expression they used. So I knew my condition was not the best. Quantity is not the most important but the truth is that this is actually what they aim for when they give us all those jabs. So they go for quantity because it matters. How I wished so many times I could have an extra egg to freeze. My sister in law has 4 kids, all from fertility treatments and 3 of them from frozen eggs! Amazing! So to all of you who had a failed cycle but still have some eggs in the "fridge" don't be too disappointed.
So, I knew my eggs were of low quality, I was told that. Then, I turned my attention to the vitamines only because a colleague of my husband from Australia who knew about our situation told him how in Australia there was great emphasis on vitamines by fertility clinics and hospitals in order to improve chances of conception. He recommended some very popular there and I bought them.They were expensive but I felt a great improvement in my hair, skin and nails. But no improvement in egg quality at all. Then I read here in the forum, some of you talking about the Q10 and I decided to research and got amazed with what I found out and only afterwards I was recommended the vitamine supplements I took. One month and half after there was a great improvement. I know that in my case the little Q10 made the difference. So I think it is very important to listen to your body and talk to your doctor. I for example, had a blood exam to find out if I had any deficiency. I found out I had a big deficiency in D vitamine. And to be honest, my previous fertility doctor didn't care about what supplements I was taking but only if I was making sure to take vitamine D.

Now, whenever I see the sun I go for a walk without gloves to soak up the most of it  well that's not an easy thing to do when you live in Denmark and it is winter. But coming from a warm country I will always be behind in terms of D vitamine compared to Danes so I need to catch up with them!


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## Bexter83

*Kazza*, I didn't know that, wow! Thank you for the encouragement .
Xxx


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## jules418

Morning ladies

How are we all today? 
Sorry I missed chat last night It was serbian Christmas Day yesterday so went over to my sister in laws house for food  (DH Maternal family are serbian) 
so we had some lovely chicken and dumpling soup, Paprikash (pork stew like dish with paprika) Pasull (bean and pulses thick stew which she then pured on a baking tray and baked for a bit was lovely), rice, cabbage salad and roast potatoes. Was very yummy indeed. 

I bought some pregnacare conception tablets today 3-4-2 in tesco in case anyone is on the look out had just been doing folic acid but going to switch to these i think. well defo as bought them now haa haa. 

Zana - how are you feeling today how is your back and infection? lots of water 

I keep thinking it is wednesday tioday and it keeps coming as a nice suprise when i realise it is actually thursday haa haa. 

well for a change i don't have much to say   shocking i know haa haa. 

hope all is well 

Jules
xxxx


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## Bexter83

LOL    omg your message with the shock face seriously cracked me up *Jules*, Brilliant! Hmmm why does your food always sound so amazing!? I'm salivating now. 
Fab news on the pregnacare&#128077;, love a good deal! Really excited for you Jules, 2.5 weeks til you start, it's all happening so quickly.

*Zana*, hoping your feeling better too .

How you doing *BeckyA*? You doing ok?

*Lottie*, really hope the morning sickness is calming down, big hugs hun xx

Hope everyone is doing well xxx

Oh had Cetrotide last night, can't believe what a tiz I was getting into, so stupid, was totally fine. I think I've got over my fear of needles too  . Scan & bloods tonigh, hopefully all ok. 5 or 6 days left of stimming. Fingers crossed all goes to plan.

Xxxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Can i ask a question please my lovely girls


You all seem to know (alot more than me) about supplements, so, one of my clients is a homeopath, i only discovered this during her haircut on tuesday, and after charting about this that and the other i ended up telling her all about my ivf, so she said that she has something i can take, its called oophorinum? ive googled it, and it seems like homeopaths recommend it for endo? but she has told me to take it as it will rid my body of anything that shouldn't be there, and my body will only take what it wants from it? she went on to tell me she gave some to a girl her son works with who had been ttc for 3 years for baby no 2, and she fell pg after 6 weeks!!
do you think i should take it? it cant harm me can it?
the other stuff she has given me is arnica? i explained how painful the gestone is, and how it left me with bruised lumps, so shes told me to take one before and one after the injection and i wont get the bruises? both things she has given me look like tiny little white wax beads? ive never taken anything other than pregnacare, so just wanted to see what you girls would do, or if any of you have taken these things? xx


----------



## Kazza79

Hi all

Zana- I was also told about something called DHEA  but my clinic said no to me  taking it but I know it's ment to improve egg quality and quantity I was told on here from ladys on a earlier cycle, it's worth looking into xxx

Bexter- how are you doing hun? Miss our chats lol x

Poppy- my sister does raki and healing and did some on me which I belive helped me and she knows a lot about homeopathic remedies, I will ask her tomorrow I know arnica is very good as iv used it loads if times before and the kids have use the cream, I will call her and let you know what she says xxxx

Hope everyone is ok xxxx


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## poppy05

thankyou kazza hunni, this lady also does reiki too, i guess these things go hand in hand? 
i havent taken the funny little pills yet lol xx


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies,

Hope your all well.

*Poppy*, arnica is good for reducing bruising, never used it myself but it can be in oral and topical form, can get it from boots too.
I haven't heard of oophorinum, sorry hun, I don't know about that one. 
The supps I've been taking for the last year are more for egg quality, things like pro greens, bee pollen, Dhea, stopped taking co enzyme Q10 due to reaction and then the usual folic acid and Mercury free omega oil.

How are you *Kazza*? 
I'm ok, convincing myself all is ok , as my had appointment last night and my body isn't responding very well. I'll get my blood test result today, so fingers crossed it's ok but Monday's bloods were a bit low. I have growing follicles but am not as it should be at this stage. I may need extra days of stimming, which I'm happy to do, as will be very upsetting if cycle cancelled and it's already cost me almost £3k so far. All will be decided in tomorrow's appointment. Lots of prayers   .
I'm on a completely different protocol this time as my age and AMH level didn't match the amount of eggs retrieved last time and a possible reason was maybe I didn't wake up from DR, so not DR this time, am on an antagonist protocol but how things are looking they said I may not get lots of eggs again and they can't understand, it's like I have the eggs there but they don't flourish.
Well I have been very calm this cycle, still going to try my best to keep positive and calm. I was conscious of being like this because I struggled emotionally last time and I spent almost a month before this one dreading it because of expecting to feel like an emotional wreck at every stage, instead of being calm and normal. So whatever the outcome, I wanted to know I can do this again without it being such an awful time.
Anyways!


----------



## jules418

morning all, 

Poppy - I personally would take them. Infact as I was reading your post I was mentally purchasing them haa haa. As she said they can't do any harma nd your body will get rid of what it doesn't need so you may get flouresent yellow pee for a bit. I was vit B12 deficient and had to take supps and my pee looked nucelar haa haa. I am totally convinced of alternative medicine and if they said to eat dog poo i probably would.....ok maybe not that but if it was in tablet form i would haa haa 

Bexter - I think you have a very good approach this time around. Like you this is my 2nd go and I definitely feel different. maybe more grounded I was very naive going in to IVF1 and though cos the Dr's were involved it would work and everything would be flowery and lovely like a disney film. this time around I am more cautious not so overly excited (I was like a loose ping pong before) keeping details more private (I am a blabber mouth which I am sure you will all find hard to believe....ahem) I really feel this time I am in a what will be will be place where as before I would say it but didn't believe it I thought it was a sure thing. 
Your approach to the needles this time is also great what a massive achievement you must be chuffed to bits. no more cracking head open for you lady  
What would happen if the eggs were not ready would it be post poned and treatment go on hold or would you have to start fresh? i.e. pay what you have over again. 

Hopeful - how are you hun? not long til ET eeeek next week. 

Zana - how are you feeling today? hope that infection has cleared up and that you are relaxing and resting well. 

For the prego ladies out there, I am not sure if this is too soon but there is an offer on gogroupie for a wireless surveillance camera, the pic shows a bambino not sure if it is suitable but thought i would mention it  

AFM - I am certainly glad it is friday, feeling quite chipper today although struggling with finding clothes that fit me #fatcow We had a new porch fitted this week so house looks lovely the other was falling down so no longer have the trampy house lol. Monday we are having a new roof on our lean-to on the side of the house as that is leaking then we need to find money to pay for IVF on 22nd arghhhhh skintarama thank god for 0% credit cards that is all I am saying!!! 
Right I need to tell you about my dinner last night hee hee diet corner with chef jules   lol 
We had miso soup with chicken. 3 sachets of red miso in 600ML boiling water in a pan, added pan fried chicken, spring onions sliced in chunks and a red chilli sliced, chucked it all in for a few mins added dried udon noodles and simmered for 7 mins OMFG it was lush I could have been in thailand haa haa. 

over and out 

jules
xxxx


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## hopeful1985

Hey ladies. Had my blood test this morning and have my last scan at 2pm today ahead of egg collection on monday (ahhhh) this is the point in my last cycle where they pulled the plug and said sorry no ec stop injections come back after 2 periods etc.... soo nervous although they saw 10 follies on tues so shud def  make it to EC.... but still won't relax until after scan.

Hope u r all well. Jules you are making me hungry!!! Lol already swollen and cant do up work trousers hahahaha


----------



## Bexter83

Lol *Jules* you seriously never fail to entertain ! I think you should be hired to make people feel good or laugh, honestly you crack me up!!
So glad your feeling different this time. Totally agree, the first round is like learning how to deal with it and to deal with the numpty heads around who seem to say and do all the wrong things too. 
Yay!! You got your new porch , roof next..l.cool all seems like it's coming together nicely . 
Jeez tell me about it with the financial side&#128553;&#128299;!! 
Your dinner sounds sooooooo good!! We've been doing turney or salmon stirfrys most week days (minus the soy for me, apparently not good for fertility or something) and most of its veg, we share just 1 noodles and been doing that for about a month now and it's maintained my weight (which last time I ballooned up last cycle) and the DH has lost weight. I really think it works.
Thanks, I am proud of myself with the jabs, I can't believe I actually look forward to them and I set them up for the DH to do and know I cando them myself if need be now but I push down too hard which causes them to bleed, so I haven't got the technique down.
Well this time around my menopur, Cetrotide & progesterone pessaries came to almost £1300. I have the trigger shot and steroids to get too but they are cheap. Hopefully just need an extra 2 days of stimming and it will probably cost me around £400 ish for that. I haven't been billed yet but I believe I will still need to pay for the scratch procedure and then the bloods and scans monitoring. I believe that I would need to wait 1 or 2 cycles to start again if cancelled? Cannot let this happen!!

*Hopeful*, thinking of you but I think your safe to go&#128077;&#128077;, as I think the minimum amount of follicles (which are the right size) is 6 to go ahead with EC. I had 8/9 and had EC last time.

Xxxxx


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## jules418

haa haa i try my best  

ooo i didn't know about soy i may have to google that one hee hee. what did we do with out google!!!! I recon we were alot calmer haa haa

oooo no defo don't want that to happen - eat lots of eggs, green veg and drink loads of water even if you already are drink more and remember the hot water bottle too

Hopeful - sounds like you are good to go wow this has come around so quickly although I bet oct seems so far away now. 

 tea tonight is ostrich steaks.... different they were on offer in aldi so thought will give them a go haa haa hope they are nice if not i shall just bury my head in the sand hee hee. 

I think I am about to Ovulate I am feeling frisky today hope DH isn't late home from work hee hee  

Have a lovely weekend ladies

Jules
xxxx


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## Mrs_F

Just poking my head round the door to say hello... 

Jules, as ever, hilarious to read your post! Enjoy your evening... STeaks and sex, DHs lucky night!!

Zana - congratulations on your news, and here's to a healthy and happy 9 months ahead xx

Hopeful - that's brilliant follicle growing! Wishing you lots and lots of luck for Monday and the days that follow x

Big hellos to everyone else... Hope that you are slowly taking the time to heal and gear up for the next step in operation baby-making.

Xxxxx


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## Bexter83

Oooh *Jules*! Sexy time&#128540; . 
Ha ha your so right about Google, I reckon we'd be a lot more sane than we are! Yeah I heard about soy and saw loads on stuff on it but sometimes I don't know what to believe!? I had this conversation with my friend about soy and she said well how do vegetarians get pregnant then? And I said how do Chinese people get pregnant? Some of it I think is just b#!?ocks but then we want to do our best and follow everything.
Ostrich steaks....wow! Let me know what it's like. I reckon you could open up Jules diner in your own home .

*Hopeful*, how did you get on at the app today? I hope all is good hun. Xxx

Hey *Mrs_F*, hope your doing well and babies doing well .

Hi everyone else, thinking of you all.

Been a little weird today but was keep remaining positive but the nurse called me this evening and thank the lord  That last nights blood result has come back fine and levels have risen. She said EC will still go ahead now and will find out after tomorrow mornings scan and bloods if I need extra days of stimming. I know I won't get a lot of eggs but just so happy that EC will be going ahead and given the chance. Yay!!!

Xxxx


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## hopeful1985

Fabulous news Bexster... delighted for u. My appt was fine all systems go for monday.

Had a bad day today. Up at 5.30 to do blood test before work, ended up working 12 hours and came home in time to do injections but too late to use numbing cream. At least it was the last gonal F and menopur injections though.

Honestly been crying today, exhausted from the buserilin insomnia, pulled my back out and ovaries feel like they wanna jump out and say hi. Bless my hubby hes been making me decaf tea, ran me a bubble bath with a bath bomb and candles. Got outta bath and hes done my hot water bottle and put out my flercy pjs and he is now making dinner. Felt so broken when i got home but hes put me back together again. Holding out for mon now xxxx


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## Bexter83

What a lovely end to a horrible day Hopeful. Relax, pamper yourself and be kind to yourself over the weekend, ready for EC on Monday. Am so excited for you!!! 
Hope you get a good nights sleep tonight and feel a million times better tomorrow.

Thanks chick, was such a relief! Doing a Follie growing dance tonight ready for tomorrow's mornings scan. Xxxx


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## Zana37

Good morning girls!

*Jules* it was not even 06:00 am and I was drooling over your Thai soup! Hum I wish I could have one right now 

*Poppy* I have actually done something kind of similar to what this lady recommended you. Right after my last failed cycle I did a cleanse with some supplements to take all the waste out of my body. Then I took something that I am still taking that works in a similar way to that ophorinum. It is something that makes sure that my body expels potentially harmful metabolites produced by estrogen metabolisation. This serves to promote hormone balance.
I must tell you that although I am the type to support a clean eating lifestyle I was never into natural stuff or supplements, well I changed my mind now 

*Hopeful* are you going for an EC next week? I am praying and hoping for that. You know, many times I managed to produce many follicles but there was nothing inside or the eggs were too small. They aim is for as many eggs as possible but in the end it is like Kazza said, it only takes one egg to make you pregnant 

*Bexter* and *Jules* I am so hoping for the best for the two of you in this new cycle! I am praying for you!

So about me... Thursday night my hubby collected the post after his evening shift at work. It is almost midnight and I opened a letter sent by my previous doctor at the hospital where I had my 5 fertility treatments. It is the blood exams that I had really insisted for her to do even though she tried to say no at first. And it fell like a bomb. She sends me a letter telling me 3 of the exams show that I might have a high risk for miscarriage, that she can send me to the Central hospital of Copenhagen, but that she believes they will not take me, as usually it is only after two miscarriages they assume the deficiencies they see in my exams can actually be the cause for miscarriage. So here I am 4,5 weeks prego getting this fabulous news just before bedtime 
I contacted my sister in law who is a nurse and she tells me that it shows that I have some problems in producing two types of proteins that strengh my defense system. Yesterday morning I called the doctor and left message that I am pregnant and need to know if is there anything I should do to avoid a miscarriage. Meanwhile I sent an email with the exams to my new fertility clinic and asked them to talk to my doctor and tell me if is there anything I should do and if I was at risk of miscarriage again. 
I was literally in shock and had gone to bed very late the night before cause I was talking with my sister in law until almost 02:00. I had cried out my eyes! The waiting time for answers was killing me.
Finally My previous doctor called me and told me that she contacted the central hospital of Copenhagen and spoke to one of the top specialists in that subject in the world who is the most instructed in this area in Denmark. He told her that although my number was 294 for Mannan-binding Lectin (I should have at least 1000) he would only intervene if it was below 100 and therefore there was nothing to be done as he didn't believe this would be a problem since I was at 294. She then asked me how was it that new clinic did the treatment and I told her that because the exams were not ready they would follow their normal protocol, to assume I had coagulation, and immune defense issues and treat me for that right before and after the egg transfer. She said that this was REALLY good as if not done my chances of the egg to be accepted well could be affected. She then said I would have to be on progesterone for 10 weeks. Funny enough, when I got pregnant in my second fertility treatment with her I asked her to prescribe me more progesterone and she denied saying I only needed no more than two weeks as studies showed no benefits beyond that time. I was very surprised as the norm in Portugal is until end of first trimester, but, didn't want to argue with her and convinced myself she was probably right. Well I miscarried in week 9 and in the first scan in week 7 she had told me the embryo was too small, not well developed even though we could see the heartbeat. It makes me wonder, WHY? WHY ? Maybe I have actually miscarried because of her silly mistakes.
Maybe all the other 3 failed attempts with her went to waste because she was not cautious enough to assume, as a doctor, that she should do some blood tests to her patient to make sure she was being treated in the right way and that she was using the right protocol.
Well... After this I am even more sure that I will request a change of hospital for the follow up in my pregnancy.
Later my new doctor sent me an email back telling me that I should not worry about it now that there is nothing we can do at this stage to increase my Protein C (another worrying aspect of the blood exam) but that he would want me to continue on the progesterone until week 12 (like they do as normal protocol in Portugal) or even for a couple of weeks beyond.

So today I feel much better. If anyone is here with recurrent miscarriages or too many failed attempts make sure to request these type of exams. I only went to my doctor and insisted on having them against her will, because I learned about it here in this forum... Only because some of you had mentioned. So THANK YOU so much!! Because of that I found out a weakness in my system that can endanger my pregnancies and because of that doctors will take care of me in a different way, making sure that extra progesterone will supply more strengh for my embryo to remain inside my uterus and by that avoid a miscarriage. I hope with the grace of Heavenly Father this will happen.
I pray for that   

Thank you again! Obrigada!


----------



## tricia1012

Bexter - that's great news won't be long for EC then  I'll be doing a little follie growing dance for you here  xx

Hopeful- I'm so glad it's going well for you to   I know it's tough the last few days before EC but hang in there your nearly there  hoping for lots of lovely follies for you xx

Zana - wow that must of been a fright getting that news so late at night , but so glad you got the answers you needed and now then can do everything they can to protect that precious little baby , I'm being kept on progesterone for an extra couple of weeks aswell just to be on the safe side I'll prob take it until 16 weeks xx

Mrs f - hello  how are things ? Hope you and the babies are well xx

Kazza - how are you ? Xx

Jules - you do cheer us all up  all your dinners sound so yum !! You always make me hungry I'm so rubbish I've been living off cereal for the past few nights , poor hubby I'm such a bad wife lol , I need to take your tips  xx

Hello to everyone else I'm off to work  hate working weekends !! Hope you all have a lovely weekend and all the ladies with EC make sure you have a good rest get those other halfs pampering you make sure you have your feet up  

Love and babydust to all xxx


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## hopeful1985

Good Luck today Bexster. Hope scan goes.well!

Oh Zana how awful and frustrating! Why do docs never listen? They put us on a conveyor belt without realising that there should be no standard treatment. Each treatment should be tailored to the individual once they have done extensive testing. At least u now know, well done for sticking to ur guns and insisting on tests.


Tricia hows the bump?


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## roxyr

Hi Newbie here

Looking for cycle buddies and people to share the highs and lows with


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## roxyr

Anywhoo it's been an eventful week day 5 scan showed lining at 5mm ...biggest follicle 9mm [email protected] 6 below 6mm...estradiol only 118....dose of gonal f put up...
scan 2 day 7 showed lining dropped to 3mm follicles [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] and 6 under 6mm estradiol up to 139...dose kept the same...

went crazy googling....hate milk but drank glass of milkshake...pineapple juice and brazil nuts x6 plus HWB on tummy for 2 days....bit more protein too ^p  pray^

Scan 3...day 9
lining up to 5.7mm
follicles... [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] 3under 6mmm...no bloods taken gonal f put up from 250iu to 300iu...

looking better but am not sure if this is any good....  wish things would move faster....i asked  nurse about ET she said were a while away yet 

Anyone help me out here...tips advice, anything?


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## poppy05

hey roxy
you need to post on the jan/feb cycle buddies thread hun
this is sept/oct 2014 and we have all completed our cycles, a few of us are just starting again, feel free to ask questions, but you will probably feel more comfortable nipping on the jan thread so you can chat to ladies going through a cycle ar the same time as you   
good luck with your treatment


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## poppy05

ah zana, bless you hun, that must of been such a worry getting that news    hope and pray the extra progesterone is what you need
this also seems to be my issue, im going to be on gestone injections and pessaries right from the start up to 12 weeks (if i get a bfp) progesterone issues seem to be so so common and yet its not really investigated


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## roxyr

Thanks Poppy...i think I have finslly found the correct thread... Thanks

Goodluck to everyone on here


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## hopeful1985

Trigger shot done eeeek!!

Bexster any news on ur scan? X


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## tricia1012

Hopeful- yay! Well done , enjoy your jab free day  xx


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies 

How are you all?

*Zana*, phew!! Gosh glad your ok. How you feeling now?

Hi *Roxyr*, I'm on the Jan/Feb thread your on now and it's def more relevant as there's so many posts everyday with lots of ladies going through a cycle right now and they are also lovely. Few of us on here still from last cycle as we cannot bare to be apart  but few of us cycling again and keeping in touch and getting support from them and to see how everyone is getting on with their scans and all sorts. 
Looking forward to getting to know you though and am wishing you all the success this cycle. Easier said than done but do try your best to relax as this will help and have confident in your doctor, sometimes too much knowledge isn't always good, can send you cookoo . Xxx

He ya *Poppy*, how are you hun? When's your FET starting again?

Oh no *tricia*, poor thing having to keep going with those jabs but you've done amazingly well so far and not too long to go and can celebrate finishing those.

*Hopeful* hun, I hope your nice and relaxed, enjoy your jab free day and all the best tomorrow, you'll be fine and your going to have lots of beautiful eggs. 
I'm feeling good now thanks . My scan shows lining is fine, still don't have lots of follies but my bloods came back v good and more than doubled, so I'm very pleased with that. EC will be on Thursday now.

AFM, had a mad day yesterday, felt like Anika Rice . Anyways, all good. Yay we viewed some properties yesterday and found the house!! It was a launch day with 15 other viewers eeek!! The DH is so fussy, I just hope we get it and doesn't become a bidding war, as we won't be able to do this. I'm just hoping this year brings good things, it really could go one way or the other. I would be so blessed if this cycle is successful and get to move to this property, then I could sort out my work down there and things finally fall into place. As we have to leave this place in March. We know we will always land on our feet but I'm praying this will be the best year ever.


----------



## Bexter83

Oh yeah, so also went to my sisters yesterday and was playing with their little boy 13 months old, such a cutiepie. Am getting all the baby cards & gifts and visits done before OTD, just incase I cannot face it! Learnt from last time😩🔫, when one of my friends bless em, sent me like a montage of photos same week.
Anyways, I saw my sister and something seemed different and I thought she might be pregnant? Anyways, got home and my hubby said the same thing, without me saying anything. I love my sister loads and they are crossing all fingers and toes for us and I would always want the best for them but but weird and gosh it would be so awkward for her and awful for me. Anyways, what will be will be.
Xxxx


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## jules418

Morning all, 

Bexter, I know exactly what you mean about that 'feeling' and I am pretty spot on most of the time too. I know I have mentoned this before but I am actually ok with babies, I think I get so distracted with how cute and funny they are I don't think anything else. Pregnant people on the other hand I turn green and prickly likea gooseberry (but sweeter of course haa haa) there is no magical solution to this feeling as I recon even when we get our bundles of joy there will be an eliment of why couldn't my journey have been easier. So I hope that if you get the news of which you predict that is is not as awful as you expect and hopefully you will be sharing the journey with her xxxx Lovely that you are close though and you have that support from her. My sister has also been fab, she doesn't want any children so she sometimes comes out with inappropriate comments which she thinks is amusing good job I am a chilled out person lol. 
Fingers crossed on the house though and hopefully the fact that you will be in a chain yourself will work in your favour. 
OMG ..... Thursday you will have EC how exciting 


Hopeful - hope all is well for you today hunni have anice relax when  you get home and make sure you are spoilt  

Zana - are you ok ? how are you feeling after the hospital etc, It makes me upset that they don't test for as much as they can straight away. It is such an expensive process and the emotional implications it causes are huge. 

One of the things I have learnt on here is to talk talk talk about he process (as I am sure you are all well aware by now I don't need to be prompted to have a chin wag) but I do need to be prompted to talk about how I feel with DH and how he feels about it all. I like to live a confectionary life.. as in I like things to be sweet and have sugar coatings. I like niceness and feeling happy blah blah ok I feel a bit sick now haa haa. But I like to make others happy I'll squish down how I feel so others can feel happy. I have now learnt that I need to express when I feel rubbish and have a good chat about it with DH. 

Oooo I am full of thought today haa haa

on a different note hopefully I am having a new roof done today and tomorrow. I say hopefully as they hadn't arrived when I had to leave for work. 

 chef jules and food corner hee hee
Made the most bang on lasagne on sat oooooo lush on plan too I am doing Slimming world again but properly this time and had a massive salad with a mango and balsamic dressing (this was in a jar not a CJ creation) 
Tonight we have ostrich steaks (aldi) with new potatoes and broccoli mmmmmm get your greens in girls  

hope all yours days are going well 

Jules
xxxx


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## K.Notman

Afternoon ladies! I've been reading threads but not had chance to give replies so here's a little catch up from me&#8230;

*Jules*- In Lincoln they had ostrich farms so regularly sold ostrich burgers on the market, they are yummy and very lean. I'm back on the Weight-Watchers wagon (well, most of the time) as I put on a stone since starting IVF and now feel a bit roly-poly! It's good that you can talk on here and to DH. We are all here for each other. Not long before you see me in Panto, yay. It's shaping up quite well now, dress rehearsal on Wednesday. I'm just trying to figure out how to transport the stage set to the venue- do you know of a man with a van, lol? I've used Google but it's only got national firms that are really expensive and we only need it for a couple of hours. (year- what did we do before Google?!). I'm glad your porch is shaping up to be all done soon- another thing to tick of the 'to-do' list for 2015- next thing is 'making babies'!

*Bexter*, gosh the prospect of you and your sister being pregnant together is very exciting! I understand that it can be awkward too if the worst was to happen but as you say, what will be will be (fingers crossed though!). Sounds exciting to be getting a new house too. It's difficult when you find THE house and try not to get your hopes up in case you lose it but you want to get excited. (fingers crossed for that too!). I'm so glad you EC is going ahead as planned. Good luck. Are you having the embryoscope/photograph thing to track your embryo development to judge what day transfer you'll have?

*Hopeful*, Thinking about you with EC today, I hope it goes well with lots of good eggies. Lots coming in the next month and we're with you every step. I know what you mean with your reference to clinics putting us on conveyor belts. I just wish we all started with all of the relevant tests first to tailor the treatment for the most success rather than this 'trial and error' method that produces so much heart ache. Your DH sounds like he is really supportive too and that you are being looked after.

*Poppy*, how are you hun? Getting things in order in your mind ready for FET. I'm praying that this cycle with extra attention to progesterone is what it's all been building up to, your little Frozen baby. What was you final thought on the supplements? By saying that "it can't do any harm", I'd probably go for it! We always used arnica cream when younger.

*Tricia*, how are you? Taking each week in your stride I hope. How often are you having scans or are you just left to get on with it now?

*Zana* I really feel for you and what you have gone through. It is madness why these tests are not developed to be done first as a matter of establishing the best treatment for each couple. I know it all costs but surely it would be better than wasting cycles when medication etc can be altered to improve success? I'm really praying that this cycle works for you, that making the little changes you have done make all the difference. Take care of yourself and have faith.

*Kazza & Mrs F*, nice to see you poke your head to say Hi. Thinking of you too and hope you are well. That goes for all other Walnut Whippers who have been lurking.

*AFM*, well as you know I've been seeking information about transferring NHS funding for our next (and last) paid cycle to get a clinic with a shorter donor egg waiting list. Well the outcome is that they can transfer but ONLY to clinics in the area so that's Birmingham Priory or again at Birmingham Women's Fertility Center. As it is, my consultant works at both and I'm pretty sure they share the same donor register anyway! So in a nutshell we HAVE to sit in the queue and wait our turn. I'm phoning the hospital this afternoon to find out exactly what is involved e.g. new form filling etc and then I'm going to phone every month until we have a match and if that's 18 months then so be it. Obviously I'm well and truly gutted as I was starting to have hope that I'd be cycling again this year but now it's not happening. So the silver lining is that my life is not on hold and we are going to have a great summer holiday- we are looking at cruises to see all the places I want to see around the Med during DH's July/Aug factory shut-down. We always have to look on the bright side of life right?!

Still wishing all the best to you all though. Lots of love
Kirst


----------



## hopeful1985

Hey ladies just a quick note to say im home now. Was under a bit longer cos they had to stem a bleed on the left ovary BUT the good news is we got 7 eggs. Wrapped up at home now  xx


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## K.Notman

Fantastic Hopeful!  Let's hope for 7 quality embies then, come on little ones, get jiggy with it!  
lol!


----------



## hopeful1985

Having icsi so good chance. Fingers crossed. Xx thanks babe xxx


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## Bexter83

Sorry ladies just a quickie from me as I'm losing my mind today!!! Having been in a property war and am waiting to know what the outcome is and am going crazy and can't think straight yet, I need the largest glass of wine in the world right now but obvs can't and went for the left over birthday marzipan and now I feel sick from the sugar rush.

Anyway, just want to say huge congrats Hopeful on your lucky number 7 (that's the DH and my lucky number btw), wonderful news. Rest up xxx

Ok my little chickens, I'll reply later, I hope I still have hair left by that point!

Xxxx


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## tricia1012

Hi ladies , 

Hopeful - well done  lucky 7 !! That's a great number of eggs  especially with Icsi . Hope you've been having a nice rest now at home loads of pampering from the hubby  xx

Bexter - aww Hun ! I know how stressful property wars are ! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you   . Don't go pulling all your hair out lol xx

Kirstie - im sorry  that you haven't found a shorter wait , but think of all the fun things you can do over the next year to be nice and relaxed to get stuck in with your treatment after   a cruise sounds amazing !! I know it's tough but it's surprising  how quick time goes by , I had to leave 6 months between each cycle and I remember how frustrated I would get but then it came round so quick . Just keep that end goal I'm sight you will get your baby   Xx

Hope everyone else's day has gone well love and babydust to all of you xx


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## hopeful1985

Just a quickie cos still suffering today from the complications from EC but hey ho its done...and guess what? Clinic called... outta 7 eggs 6 were mature aaannnndd all 6 fertilised!!!!!!! Hahahahaha


----------



## poppy05

fabulous news hopeful, im so pleased for u hunni   whens et?


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## hopeful1985

If they go to blastocyst then saturday. If they arent doing so well then thursday. Did u feel so gassy after EC? Sorry tmi x


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## Bexter83

Hey sorry again, will do personals as thinking of you all and wishing you all well. We got the house!!! That wait was worse than the 2ww . Anyways over the moon, cannot find an emoji which has naked kart wheels, so I'll leave it. So got to sort loads of bits out today and last scan/bloods tonight, double dose trigger shot tonight, EC Thursday. Going to double check with Doctor tonight to see if should gave more progesterone, due to all my 21 day progesterone tests I've had done over ladt couple of years range from 1-4, so want to check with him 2 pessaries a day will be enough.

Fab news Hopeful, really great! Sorry your not feeling great, rest up and get that baby palace ready for your beautiful embie/embies. Xxx

Love to all


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## jules418

Morning ladies

Yayyyyy double whammy of good news today which has cheered me up no end hooorayyyyyyy

Well done hopeful fingers crossed for you hun - I was super gassy after ET although DH would say nothing had changed haa haa my super hero name was (and still is) pumpatron

Bexter - fab news yayyy looking forward to the house party already haa haa will bring a paint brush for the nursery  

Poppy how are you hun - you are quiet....xxxx

Kirstie - it must be so frustrating it is the wait times that seem soooooooooo loooooooong, good plan to contact priory incase their wait times are lower, private places seem to get 1st dibs so to speak over NHS hospitals. If not then you know you have tried everthing and spend time on you and DH trying and hopefully succeeding is relaxing even if just for a bit. I feel pamper day is required  You will get to the treatment start date and be like where did those months go.... 

Tricia, MrsF, Kazza, Lottie - hope all is well with you guys and the beanies are being well behaved hee he. 

Today I am ANGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY (ok slightly miffed lol) 

KRAFT have change the chocolate ion cadbury creme eggs. Now I am not a massive fan of these anyway BUT I am miffed that they need to change something that obv works to save some money which it wont cos less people will buy cos it tastes ick. once they change one thing it will quickly progress to the other chocolate bars, now this is really where my deep concern lies. in my opinion Cadbury chocolate is by far the best chocolate in the world. Now I know that the belgians and the swiss also have nice choccies but you can't eat loads of that as it is too rich bnut cadbury you can eat loads and loads and loads and even after been sick you can eat more. SO WHY CHANGE IT ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ok childish rant over haa haa of course this will now help with my continuing goal of loosing the flab as I am now boycotting cadbury (for like a day ha that will show them....) 

love to all  

Jules
xxx


----------



## Bexter83

Lol *jules*, God you crack me up, always make me laugh and smile when I read your posts......i wanna put you in my pocket and take you around with me all the time (bit weird, lol). Thanks Hun and totally loving your idea, well up for that  . No matter what happens I feel like this is a better year already, so many things have been on hold due to this, so it means so much. Can't believe I celebrated over a cup of hot milk though, what am I, 70!  
Lol, so true about the gassy bit, that's down to the good eating though, all those greens....,I mean they do say better out than in .
Cadburys, really!?! Have you tried Montezumas chocolate, omg . So what will the difference be then? I saw that they will be made bigger or something? I think the filling is so sickly. Can't believe there are already Easter eggs in the shops already!
Your lasagne sounds yummy! How were your ostrich steaks? We've been given a turkey crown & stuffing by the DH's folks and its in the oven now, the stuffing smells amazing!! So will all be ready to heat for tonight after app. Hmmm I want to eat it now. Yiur only about 1 week away now from starting. How you feeling? Super excited for you. I can't believe I'm contemplating asking for those gestone jabs tonight. I have this fear about not having enough progesterone.

Hey *Kirstie* . Totally agree with Jules, your going about it the right way and yiur taking control, really well done. It's good to get a plan and that inbetween time you've got some great plans coming up like your cruise around the Med (not jealous at all , that's such a big fat lie). Sounds amazing. Can't wait to hear all about your panto too.

Hey ya *Tricia* hun, thank you and I believe I will be round the corner from you too. I hope we will both be pushing buggies together....exciting is an understatement of the century!!! Are you feeling better now?

Hi *Poppy* hun, hope your doing well.

Hi everyone else too. Xxx


----------



## BeckyA

Great news on your embies *hopeful*, hope you can get to blasto!

Excellent news on the house *bexster*, it is all coming together. They do say "new house, new baby..." So it is defo your time.

Ditto what bexster said about your posts *jules*, they always put a smile on my face. I am not fussed about creme eggs as i cant stand the filling, but if kraft do anything to the cadburys crunchie, they will have me to deal with!!  It is my fav choc bar of all time. You cant get cadburys in spain  so i have to stash a hoard whenever i come back to the uk.

*kirstie*, sorry such a long wait still for you. As others have said, here is hoping the time flies by for you. A cruise sounds fabulous.

Hey *everyone else*, hope you are good.

AFm, still trying to get rid of xmas cold and cough, and wishing away the week so aF comes on friday and i can get stimming!!


----------



## jules418

Bexter I shall happpliy be carried around in your pocket....ok that sounds soooo wrong haa haa. 
also I have been doing a lot of thinking and researchand I think I know why you are on the ivf train.... is it cos you are 70? lol hot milk all round. 
mmmmmmmmmmmm turkey sounds yummy, I love a bit of stuffing I do oi oi of the sage and onion variety lol 
the ostrich steaks were pure yumness kind of like a mixture of pork and steak defo recommend them Aldi 4.99 for pack of 2. also their venison is scrummy. 

I don't think I have had montezumas but i have heard of it, is it like omg i could eat it all day long. I think the cadbury thing also always reminds me of being a kid with a bag of buttons, it just makes me mad that they come in take over cut corners and ruin a good product. aparently they have also done it with other products like roses and wispa, i must say i did notice wispa was a bit more plasticy looking like shiney rather than a nice creamy look to it but from wrapper to mouth it was so quick i couldn't be sure lol 

BeckyA - sorry to hear you are still suffering with your cold boooooooo for winter 'and fingers crossed for friday. I tell you what is funny with IF process it is the only time we really really want AF to pay us a visit and get mad when she is late haa haa. Remember the secret to success white pants and white trousers!!!!!

have a fab night girlies Chef Jules is unsure as to wghat to have for dinner tonight it is weigh in and pondering with take out eeeek no i shan't or shall I hmmmmm

Jules    
xxxxx


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies,

Hope your all well.

So things are a bit scary this end. So went for scan & bloods last night and I only have 2 follicles (1 egg in each) which are ready (optimum size/mature) and I have around 8 more which still need more time. They have grown since the previous scan, so they are hoping that they will continue to grow. My lining is the right thickness right now but they won't go ahead with egg collection with just the 2 eggs. I am doing 2 extra days of stimming to hopefully get the rest of the eggs mature and for egg collection to be on Saturday, not Thursday, if not the cycle will be abandoned. If eggs are ready but my lining has become abnormal because left too long, then I'll still go for egg collection on Saturday but the eggs will be freezes on day 2 and I'll have to have egg transfer done another cycle. A progesterone blood test was taken last night to make sure that level is ok to still go ahead also. I will get last nights blood tests results today and next scan to see what will be happening is tomorrow evening.

Xxxx


----------



## jules418

Morning all, 

Oh bexter what a kick in the gut that is. Fingers crossed those follies come out of hibernation in time and I shall be doing my egg pop dance for you. 
When will you get the progesterone results. Have they said what the minimum amount of eggs they are looking for? I think BW were looking for 3 over a certain size.     this journey sucks balls!!!!

Try to stay calm (easier said than done) get a hot water bottle on the go, slippers on stay warm warm warm lots of water and get that kale in ya girl.... 

Jxxxxx


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## K.Notman

Just a quick one from me, Thanks for all the well-wishes, Hello all!

Bexter, fab news about the house- I'm doing naked cart-wheels for you too!  I really hope those follies get a spurt on over these last few days.  I know a lot can happen as it did for my sister and she got 6 eggs in the end so fingers crossed that the lining can be patient too and Saturday has good results.

Kirstie


----------



## Bexter83

Awww thank you girls   , you are little angels  . Xxx 
Gosh I've been fine, no tears and had a cry in the car last night, got it out of M&S system and no today! Get a grip woman!!! Thanks for the encouragement and I'm going to have to pull out the Follie growing Macarena dance now&#128111;. Right, you girls have really made me feel better , there's lots of hope, am trying to think positive now but going to self medicate a few PMA bashings actually   . So I get the progesterone and the usual eostrogen blood result today. My understanding of it was that if the progesterone level is too high, it means you could possibly have ovulated already? Fingers crossed not.
I know, it's weird *Jules*, I think each clinic seem to follow different guidelines or something? I read somewhere that the min follicles to go ahead with EC is 6. 
Thanks for the Follie dance&#128523;, I reckon that would do it! 
We didn't have the roast turkey in the end last night and did actually have a whole pack of kale, haha.

I need to find an Aldi round here, it was voted best supermarket last year or year before. Our friends in a different area always have such nice stuff, amazing value and it's all from there. Oh yeah I think it's a nostalgia thing but def agree on the shine on the wispas or when they really have been left too long, looks white (ewww). Omg you need to get the Montezumas milk chocolate buttons.....orgasm alert . You can buy some if their stuff on Amazon and is nice but the blocks of chocolate and the buttons in the shop is heavenly. It's one of those treat things because I think it can be a bit pricey, but am glad because I'd be eating that stuff all the time. 
So what did you have for dinner in the end? I love hearing about your recipes.

Thanks so much *Kirstie* .

Hope that cold/virus shifts *Becky*, I think Rijoca should do it!&#128540;

Omg , so Monday night when thought EC was still on for Thurs, I almost forgot that well you know, the DH needs fresh stuff for then, he's not feeling too well or anything, thought over weekend that mon night would be the best time (so romantic!). Anyways, it had almost passed my mind but before went to bed, flicked through the channels and was a gogglebox repeat and there was a Walrus being tossed off!!  .

Love to all and thank you for your support, don't know what I'd do without you girls. Xxx


----------



## jules418

that what this page is all about hunni cuddles and slapstick when required lol
let us know what the bloods are like, fingers crossed all good and healthy

ooo a whole bag of kale that is good going i hope you had something to go with it though otherwise we will be renaming you to pumpatron lol 

Aldi is FAB and so is lidl, amazing how they have both transformed in the last few years and are really giving the bigger supermarkets a run for their money. 

Haa haa that did make me laugh bexter, hope you got your deed done lol. 

 well last night we were very very naughty and had take out eeeek but it wasn't too horrendous. We had peri peri mixed grill which to be fair is   fword amazing you get..... 1/4 chicken, 4 lamb chops (but there was 5) 4 chicken fillet strips, 4 chicken wings, doner meat and chicken doner meat, all this is covered in a sauce of choosing we had lime and herb as DH is a wuss haa haa i like spicy. that comes with a large box of peri peri fries. then we ordered extra wings and DH had a chicken doner pitta too. Yes we are pigs!!!! Oh also had a tiny salad on the side haa haa but hey you can't say i haven't had my protein fix that's for sure. We didn't eat it all either some left for DH's lunch today. I did lose 1.5lb at SW yayyy that is 2.5lb this year so far. Got to be good going forward though as would like a 2 or 3lb loss next week. 

Tonight however we have 1 pack of ostrich left so will have that with broccoli i think DH wants to go the gym I want to curl up on sofa and snooze...hmm i wonder who will win..... 

Jules
xxxx


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## jules418

oooo i  forgot to say my best mate saw a psychic last night, she host a party thing anyway i couldn't go so I said if she says anything you may think maybe me related let me know and she mailed me today saying ' Do you want the good news or the bad news? ' 
she was told her friend would get pregnant from IVF and most likely have triplets  and that she had booked me and DH in for feb 21st. 

I read it and thought oooo I can't do 21st winder if she will re schedule, then I was like oh my triplets....gobsmacked (yes me) then laughter. 

I replied saying as long as it blummin works I don't care if there is 100 in there. LOL 

hope it is true though I hope it works for us, if more than 1 then so be it but i'm not greedy I just want it to work. 

Jxx


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## poppy05

im literally wetting myself here         bexter your walrus being tossed off made me spit my drink out!!!!hahahaha how funny, maybe not so funny for dh though that you mentioned walrus tossing and sex with him in the same sentance!!!  
sending follie vibes           grow grow grow grow 

jules!!!!!!          triplets!!!         wt actual eff     
i will laugh my head off if you end up with 3!!! omg imagine the size of your tummy!!! 

kirstie i hate that you are having to wait so long to try again, if i win the lottery i promise to pay for you to cycle right now!!    however, the holiday you have in mind sounds flipping awesome and you both totally deserve it, you need to have something nice to look forward too my lovely 

hopeful, how are you feeling darling?  have you heard how your little embies are doing?   

tricia, hey babes, hows things with you? really hope you are feeling better 

lottie, hello beaut, how are you feeling? you must be 12 wks now? im waiting to see your announcement on **!! 

Hello to everyone else, sending hugs to you all 

Ok so AFM
Sorry i've been a bit quiet lately, i just haven't been on here that much, i guess as tx is over im not frantically obsessing over things, so not been popping in, i do think of you all though  
well im getting back on the roller coaster! i am going to clinic on mon for my immune tests, and im going to ask about doing my fet with my next cycle  
im on af at mo, but i feel i would like to do it with my next one, then ive had 3 bleeds since the mc, plus i know it gives me about 6 weeks to lose 15 stone!!!!!    
Seriously though, i need to eat better, drink more water, get back on the pregnacare, and get my head round the joys of tx!! although i haven't got to endure much this time thank goodness  
I am feeling a tad impatient though, i just want my elsa and olaf back with me!
And i want to, just know the outcome s i can make plans either way 

Ooh for those of you who believe in spiritual stuff, i had what i am taking as a 'sign' today
i was driving home from work, and i was thinking about my fet, wondering how the thawing process etc works, and a car pulled out infront of me and the last 3 letters of his number plate were BFP!!! 

Im popping in chat for a bit if anyone fancies a gossip xxx


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## tricia1012

Bexter - so glad you got your house yay!! Pray those follies get growing for you don't get to worried you would be suprized how quickly they can come on , I had loads grow in the last two days when a lot were quite small , so keep the PMA get that hot water bottle on your tummy and drink drink drink loads of water  will be thinking of you and doing a lil follie  growing dance for you xx

Poppy - that is def a good sign ! I believe in signs like that  

Soz I'm not popping onto chat tonight I'm exhausted had a really long day today so I'm off to bed nice and early , happy chatting 

Love to all xx


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## Bexter83

Hey all,

So great news from the clinic this evening that my progesterone level shows I have not ovulated&#128077;&#128077; and oestrogen levels all good (5000), so one hurdle down and all down to these follies to be good size by tomorrow evening to go ahead now.    Grow follies grow!! I've been walking around with my hot water bottle strapped round me with my scarf, like a nappy .

*Jules*, no way!!  triplets! I've heard of a BOGOF and 3 for 2 but wow triplets&#128563;! Cool though and very very exciting though. 
Thanks Hun and you girls really do give good hugs and laughs when needed .
Lol  that's an impressive title, ha ha! .....well the expression of Theres an elephant in the room does apply to me after the amount of veg I eat . 
Hmmmmm sounds sooooo good, am drooling&#128539; and you definitely got your protein fix, no doubts about that , did you get the meat sweats? Have you ever had that? It's like sleep after you've drank loads of alcohol.
Yay!! Well done chick&#127942; great news about your weigh in!!

Thanks *Poppy* , love that your sending good vibes , fingers crossed it's all working, am remaining positive, eeeek! 
Wow&#128515; no way!?! That's a brilliant sign, how mad!?, that's deffos a sign.
You sound like your ready to start and for Elsa & Olaf to be with their mamma. Is the test centre in Marylebone that your going to? Hopefully you'll hear back with your results v quickly and soon start your FET. 6 weeks will fly by .

Ooh I hope so *Tricia* and thanks for your encouragement, that's great to hear that things can happen in 2 days. Thanks for the Follie dance too&#128111; . How are you feeling? How much longer of the Gestone jabs?

Hopeful, how are you? Are you feeling better now? Any news on your transfer?

I'm going to say a prayer tonight for the follies and for a lovely lady I've been speaking with who ECs tomorrow, so going to channel good and positive thoughts and light a candles too. All gone a bit spooky but you know what it's like, this process can make you more in tuned spiritually. 
I also asked about the gestone jabs and if everything goes to plan and I get a BFP&#128515;, they'll do a blood test straight away to see if I need them and I'll go on those if need be.

Will let you know what's happening tomorrow evening.
Night ladies xxxx


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## hopeful1985

Just a quick note, sorry no personals. Clinic rang this morning. All 6 arent doing as well.as hoped. They are going to put 2 in today but it looks like the other 4 wont make it to sat for freezing. Gutted. Talk soon x x x


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## jules418

Hi ladies

Hopeful - I know this feels like a blow BUT you have two nice embryos which they will transfer and you only need for one to work. I know it wont bring much comfort but I had a 2 day transfer with 2 embryo's and no frosties after all my 8 eggs fertilised 1 discarded for being too frisky lol I know my situatioon went south  but that was the progesterone not the embryos. MrsF's son was  2DT too. 
hope everything goes well today hunni and sending you hugs and love    

Poppy - lovely to see you on here hun, i know what you mean about having nothing really to say however as you know I can usually find something haa haa. Tummy size I recon I will look like a did a few years ago when I was at my fatest haa haa i recon people thought i had eaten 3 haa haa. I tell you what though wiould have to go through the sunroof not sure my foo foo would recover from that. 

Bexter - I really don't think 3 will happen but am hoping beyond hope that it works, I have had the meat sweats haa haa but its the following day that come back to haunt me when I can't go but badly need to haa haa. it was worth it though nom nom. 
Really pleased to hear you haven't ovulated yet whoop whoop 

I am not a religious person at all, I don't dismiss it as I know it is a huge help for others but I am into the spiritual side of things, not majorly but i find it interesting, however through thisI have been praying to all sorts wishing on star not treading on cracks etc etc cos you just don't know. Even tried to stop my inner *****y thoughts in case i get punished by a higher power, not fully succeeded in that but when i have one i chastise myself lol I am a div 

Tricia - how are you feeling now any more hospital trips or have you got your padded room sorted now hee hee. 

I have a stinky headache today boooooooooo must be the lack of sugar. 

Love and kisses ladies MASSIVE Ones for hopeful and to think when you read this you will be PUPO.....madnesssssssss

Jules
xxxx


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## Bexter83

*Hopeful*, your 2 precious embies sound beautiful . My friend has her amazing boy from a 2 day transfer. Sometimes they just need to be back with their mumma. If I remember correctly Lottie was a day 2 or 3 transfer? And has 2 beautiful buns in the oven. Positive thoughts your way because your little fighters are going to be amazing!!

Haa has *Jules*, sounds like your going to get meat withdrawal symptoms . We had the turkey, stuffing, greens, carrots & sprouts (we had to start opening windows&#128516 last night and it was shaaamazing! Hmmmm leftovers tonight&#128540;. How were your ostrich steaks and broccoli? 
Never say never Jules, triplets could be your future!! I can't even picture how a buggy for triplets would look? I mean is two next to each other and one on top? Omg have you ever seen those push chairs where there is a kid at the bottom with a younger one on top.....it's so not right....I saw one once, poor kid, he probably lives in a Harry potter cupboard! 
Thanks jules , am a hurdle down and keeping spirits up for tonight's scan where I shall find out my fate! Dud dud duuuuud! Aaaaahhh. Follie growing dances and prayers, vibes all sorts please...love u all!!
Oh gosh 100% with yiu on that girl! This journey we are all on, is not just a baby making one it's finding yourself, finding faith of some kind, it's everything and can and usually does change you. You realise more than ever the importance of being sensitive and having time for people, where may not have had before, your more humbled and get great joy and and comfort out of little things. Gone are the days of being ungrateful or being a diva over superficial things. The spiritual side becomes strong during this because your in need of help,and guidance and are quite vulnerable. When we all have our bundles of joy, we will hate that it hasn't been easy but we will all be very grateful that we shown our strength and met some really cool people!

Aaaaahhh omg yeah Hopeful you are going to be PUPO when you read this, whoop whoop 

Hope everyone is well.

Day 15 in the big brother house, menopur 450 has taken its toll&#128553;&#128299;, the headaches are peeing me off! But if I get great news tonight I will not care, I'll stick a million injections in me  It!!

Xxxxx


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## BeckyA

And i'm off ladies!! AF turned up overnight, so am stimming from tomorrow night on 300 menopur, first scan next weds. so excited!!!!

*hopeful*, 2 embies at 3dt is a great result, believe me. I had this last time, even though i didnt get my bfp, i was really chuffed. Just concentrated on positive sticky vibes for your embies!! Hope transfer goes well.

*bexster*, got everything crossed for good news tonight!! Wgen might you be triggering?

*kirstie*, good luck with the play opening tomorrow!!

*jules*, hi, just to add to the cookery show. This week i made mini tiramisus for our weekly team meeting (each week a different member of staff brings in cakes), they were lush if i do say so myself. The key ingredient was the cheeky shot of grappa in the coffee!!

Hi to everyone else, *poppy*, *tricia*, *kazza*, *lottie*, *mrsf*, etc..

Xx


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## Bexter83

Hmmmm sounds delicious *BeckyA*!! You girls are making me hungry!
   So glad AF arrived and yiur stimming tomorrow.....exciting stuff hun! 
Thank you, feeling bit nervous now, appointment is at 6pm and I'll be stopping off at the shop on my way home and I'm either getting a non alcoholic bubbly or 3 bottles of wine to drown my sorrows.    Please be good news!

Xxxxx


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## jules418

Bexter - fingers crossed for the softdrinks maybe a hot chocolate as your treat  

BeckyA - yayy AF whoop whoop hello jabs from tomrrow that is exciting all steam ahead now just think how far away this date seemed back last year and now here we are and scanning next wed wtf it is comforting to feel how quickly it is going as my DR will be here in no time. No more grappa for you then hunni  

I love a bit of cake I do probably a bit too much though haa haa. I am out tonight so not sure what is on the menu this evening. I am seeing my friend and her little boy who is HUGE not fat just long and wide, DH is really pleased and I think has placed him in the rugby squad already haa haa (he is 9 months old lol) 

Poppy - I think you are doing the right things get your 3 AF's out the way and that would mean you only have 1 more to go? I recon we will be cycling together...shall we get a tandum? I shall go at the back though let you do all the hard work hee hee. 

love to all

Jules
xxxx


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## Zana37

Hi everybody!

Just a quick message.

*Bexter* good luck and I hope for the best with that transfer.

*Hopeful*I got pregnant and it was with 2dt so you never know just keep the faith!

I am very excited for all of you that are in this round of treatments. How good it would be if there would be only positive outcomes to all of you! I am praying for that   !

So I finished the antibiotics this past Monday and I am feeling good now, but still drink loads of water. 3 liters a day. I restarted slowly my sports activities with the approval of my doctor so it has been great to go back to the gym. At home I am doing yoga and Pilates but I must confess that I am always a bit afraid. However one cannot live in fear that the past will hunt us back but I guess it is the same for other women who have been through a MC.

Weekend is almost there... Any exciting plans?


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies, hope your all keeping well.

Great news that the scan showed the follicles are almost ready and because no abnormalities with the lining and blood levels, stimming for 2 more extra days is fine and I'll have egg collection on Monday, I have another appointment tomorrow morning to do the usual monitoring. Such a relief! Shows I have 10 follicles, so hopefully will have a good few healthy mature eggs. 

Whilst eagerly or nervously waiting (should I say) in the waiting room, the estate agent calls me and then still chewing my ear off whilst I'm having the scan (trying to get him off the phone), we've lost the house basically. It was best and final offers on Monday and everyone was given a fair chance, we bid the highest and our offer was accepted. I asked the estate agent if it is now off the market and he said yes. So last 3 days have been sorting the legal bits, mortgage, accountant out etc. anyways, it's not illegal but very unethical of the estate agents to put in more offers after this (it was the other party who had their chance on Monday also), instead of telling them it's under offer now. Then he told me what the other party bid and we'd need to go considerably higher and an odd number. All just very silly. 
When I had the good news about EC going ahead I was so happy, whereas I'd be utterly distraught if wasn't (mainly because it would put me into a situation of knowing that I just cannot get enough eggs every cycle). So although we are disappointed, feel cheated and have lost trust, there are more properties (although back to the drawing board) out there but I still have a chance to get what's really important to us. 

Xxx


----------



## jules418

Morning all, 

Zana, Lovely to hear from you I was starting to worry where you had gone haa haa. How is the cake baking going? Glad you are allowed to exercise again just make sure you don't over do it. I really missed the gym last time but now seem to have lost the motivation to go so need to work on that. 

Bexter - Fab news about the follies all our weird follie dances are working hee hee great news for monday so trigger on sunday night then? Noooooooooo - Is that what they call gazzumping? I didn't think that was allowed now. oooo how very frustrating for you. Come and move to brum you get loads more for your buck up here and they are doing that new train line soon too  H2O or whatever lol that's water isn't it ooooo could you imagine and massive water shoot to work everyday haa haa wicked. Do you remeber that barclaycard advert when he was on the watershoot. although i guess if you were on one foe an hour a day you would be very wrinkly when you got to work. 

Hopeful - how did you get on yesterday hun hope you are feeling ok xxx

This weekend, We are seeing friends tonight am umming and ahhing about whether to drink or not, I am thinking not so can shed those pounds but also i fancy a wine hmmm
Sat, nowt planned need to sort house out but don't want to haa haa. 
Sunday having a sister day

Mexican food for tea tonight that is what my friend is preping so should be nice then i am going to have a SW fry up tomorrow; bacon, eggs, mushrooms, toast, tomatoes I may even do some frylight potatoes mmmmmm ooo i want that now  

lots of love 

Jxxx


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## Zana37

Hi girls!

*Bexter* congrats on the eggs! And perhaps congrats that you did not get the house! I REALLY believe things happen for a reason and maybe your house is waiting for your bid somewhere else! Think of that!

*Jules* I have been quiet sleepy . I think is also because I started to train again, so my body is adjusting.

I forgot to mention that I will be going for my first scanning next Wednesday at 11:30. And for a second one on the 11th of February at 11:45. So I am praying that all will be well. I am nervous about it!


----------



## jules418

ooo hoping and praying you will see a lovely little heartbeat, will that be 7 weeks? 
It's good to get lots of rest in especially with being back to the gym and don't forget your protein and greens  

I have decided that saturday I shall do a bit of a cook/bake off. Going to make some nice recipes that I can freeze for dinners/lunches in the week, so I can loose lb's and save £'s hee hee 
pulled pork is on the list


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## Bexter83

&#128557;&#128557;&#128557;&#128557;&#128557;&#128557; my message just deleted!!! And you know I love an essay! Threw me out the MOFO!

Thanks *Jules*  keep Follie dancing, I think it's working! 
I think this is what they call gazzumping! But agree with you guys that it's meant to be. There is something better out there for us and maybe it was to save us more heartache in the future, if they pull stunts like this now, what could they do later? So the search continues. Ha ha actually Jules, I do love a Brummy! The DH laughs at me because I'm a sucker for them, accent and fun, open personality, so you never know!?
Oh yeah I remeber that advert! How cool would that be&#128515;, could you imagine our hair by the time you get into the office, we'd need Poppy to be with us at all times!
Lol, when I was younger (actually I want that young, was a late developer ) but the first time I ever went on an aeroplane, I was surprised and disappointed when went to get off the plane and it wasn't an inflatable slide!&#128557;
Jules, I think it's a sign.....their were triplets on good morning Britain this morning    .
Hmmmm mexian! Yummage&#128539;. Ariba Ariba! Your social life beats the Royals . How about G&T, or vodka lime soda (fresh lime) or even tequila for your Mexican night? I think these drinks work out to be 50 cals each, double shot 100&#128521;, double trouble, lol. 
Treat night tonight, am craving fish & chips.....salivating at the thought of salt & vinegar.

Yay *Lottie*, finally got your announcement on **!! Whoop whoop xxx

Hi *Zana*, thanks chick, think your right xx I can imagine it's so scary hun but you seem so different this time, I think it's all going great. Not long now til your scan and you'll see how beautiful they are. So excited for you. Keep us posted chick xxx

*Hopeful*, how are you feeling today? Yay your officially PUPO!!!

The effects of the drugs are seriously kicking in now. Can I take paracetomol during stimming stage?

Thinking of you all xxxxxx


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## jules418

You can take paracetamol just not ibuprofen, also asprin is good for thinning the blood preventing clots 0.75mg i think they are or 75mg I don't know they have a 7 and a 5 in there somewhere lol 

well as we are on the subject of triplets it woudl be rude not to have a treble gin haa haa. DH just said he wont drink as got a rugby game tomorrow so may get him to drive instead. (he hates driving and never EVER does it) Do you mean the royals as in the comedy 'my ****' if so that wouldn't be hard haa haa

Defo think this was a good sign as they say everything happens for a reason it is just not clear at the time what the reason is. and like you say if they start of being a nightmare that will just continue. 

haa haa the slide thing made me laugh alhough totally wish they did do that. I work for an Aerospace company and on a trip out to India we were in a meeting room and this massive bang went off like a bomb, it actually scared the   out of me. we rushed to the window (yeah that's safe) and nothing going on people milling about as usual. We then realised we were next to the testing area and they were testing the slides for the A380's (the MASSIVE planes) and when they blow up they make a bomb going off sound. I was jittery all day after that haa haa. thank goodness it was happy hour at the hotel phew!!! 

mmmmmmmmmm love fish and chips am pratically drooling over my desk - ther is a restaurant/diner by us called the finest catch, it is a fish and chip diner and you get unlimited chips and bread and butter....quality  

Poppy - what are you up to the weekend? 

Jxxx


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## Zana37

*Jules* I eat clean let's say 98% of the times but I simply can't resist to a good pulled pork!!!!!!! Ohhhh I am drooling now  I just wish one could show up before me! Your posts some times makes me imagine food, dream of it while I am awake! 

*Jules* I will not be 7 weeks but only 6,5. The scan was booked for w7 but the hubby is going with our boy on a ski trip and asked me to move the date. So we are going both on w6 and then w8, so we are sure to see the heartbeat in case is too early to see it next week.

When I was pregnant the other time we went for a scanning and I was so excited and then we could see by the doctors face something was not right even though we saw the heartbeat. It was on 7w. Then she asked us to go there 10 days later and there was no heartbeat and they induced the abortion   I hope I will not freak out when I go for the scanning. I am terrified to see in the doctors face that something is not right. But I am praying this time will be different


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## jules418

Zana - you will be fine, focus on this time not last time, I know that is easier said than done but this time will be amazing and the old memory will fade out and be replaced with the new positive journey that I have no doubt is happening  

I wish I lived cleaner, my problem is that I am so disorganised. I love a good list making session but sticking to said list is another matter entirely. Sio I am planning my food for the weekend and I shall stick to them, everything will be cooked the slimming world way no cheating (she says) 

so what does your eat clean involve? would that limit your meat in take? 

Jxxx


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## Zana37

*Jules* thank you so much for your words! Helped me a lot! 

My clean eating involves loads of good lean protein from fish, eggs, chicken breast or turkey and lean cow meat. I eat pork very rarely and when I cook is lean meat also. I love tapas and cheeses but I make it for very especial occasions and I have cut it during pregnancy, except for low fat cheese.
I eat a lot of greens, oatmeal every morning, high protein low fat, no sugar yogurt, I favor the Icelandic Skyr. I resume my fruit intake to only two pieces a day because fruits are high on sugar. My breakfast could be a whole grain tortilla with 6 egg whites omelet with a pick de gallo salad (tomatoes, cucumber, chili and peppers with lime juice), morning snack, a banana and yogurt with blueberries , lunch could very well be spinach with garlic, baked sweet potato and salmon, afternoon snack a grilled chicken breast with cooked or steamed green beans or broccoli, and low fat ricotta cheese, dinner some tuna salad with no carbs only greens and evening snack six boiled egg whites. 
I usually cook ahead. Right now I am cooking meals to be consumed until Tuesday. Wednesday I will cook food to be consumed until Saturday or Sunday. I divide them in several complete meal portions in boxes ready to take from the fridge and eat 
If you do it like that it is much easier to follow the plan, otherwise you grab the first thing you find at hand, and many times it is unhealthy food.


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## jules418

ooo Zana those dishes sound lovely and I agree it is all about preparing....' failure to prepare is preparing to fail' I fail quite a bit whoops

on instagram there is a girl called cleaneatingalice and she has loads of lovely foods and also a guy called bodycoach who does loads of lean foods love watching his 15 sec videos too (plus he is fit hee hee) 

I also try and keep my fruit intake down as lots of natural sugar in there my acupuncturist advised to cut out altogether but i do like it. trying to find veg snack that are healthy (not covered in oil) is really hard though as I tend to stick with carrot and pepper batons. 

Well I am departing work now (hoorayyyy) have a lovely weekend ladies will get my folli dance on for monday Bexter if I don't speak with you before hope everything goes well and enjoy the GA (love the GA) 

hopeful - hope you are ok hunni xxx

love to you all

Jules
xxxx


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## Bexter83

Wow *Zana* I feel full just reading that! A chicken breast as a snack Me!! I'm adding an extra hard boiled egg or cup of hot milk or small amount of 0% plain Greek yogurt as a snack a day and I felt like I was training for a weightlifting competition or something! Lovely food, sounds balanced and clean but blimey you must be able to tuck that away! 
I agree with Jules, it is easier said than done but I hope you can start looking at it as a totally new and different time. I really can see how difficult it must be to do that and to relax. I hope your scans really put you at ease. I know the stress does not stop during all of this but I hope you can start to relax a bit more .

Cool thanks for the advice *Jules* &#128077;&#128077;. I'll take paracetomol, the headaches are literally doing my head in! Yeah I've been taking 1 baby aspirin a day, doctor told me due to thins blood. 
That's the spirit Jules, lol  love your style, start as you mean to go on and 3 seems to be your magic number&#128540;. I've never wanted alcohol so much in my life this week, have a shot for me. Aaahhh haa I was thinking more Kate & Wills but Barbara & Jim will do . 
Good god! That sounds slightly distracting and flipping scary.....I think you'd be a gold member of the Walnut Whippers after that! 
Weekends are extremely boring these days, I'm hoping that when I'm not at the beckon call of the clinic and the constant change of EC date, that I can actually plan something, that would be rather nice . For now it's the excitement of what I'm having for dinner and the Sopranos box set .

Xxxxx


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## Lottie1802

Heyyyyy ladies!!!

Sorry its been so long , its all a bit mad my end 

Zana wishing you well and hoping your scan comes round quick for you luvvy x x 

Jules hows you !!! Other than eating mexican lol

Bexter great news on ec! Well done you , dont worry about the house there'll be plenty more  

Hopeful amazing news on being pupo sending you lots of sticky vibes!

Tricia , poppy and everyone else sending you hello's x x x 

Afm, I think my boss is positioning me to get rid of me, they mentioned redundancies and now all of a sudden he keeps pulling me up saying I never complete tasks and he is concerned about my skill gap . So ive been in floods of tears worrying how we'll pay the mortgage if I lose my job  just what I need 
Can someone go kick him in the balls for me please


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## jules418

Morning ladies

Just as quick Hi from me hope you are all ok.

Lottie, does your boss know you are pregnant? I think there are protections for pregnant ladies when it comes to redundancies and disciplinary action see this acas article http://m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=3832
They also have a phone line you can call for advice. 
So don't get upset not worth it wasted energy and not good for you xxx make sure you get your facts and go in armed that is the best kick in the balls you can give sooooo foooooooooooooo youuuuuuuuu a hole!!!!! (that's at your boss not you lol) if still needs physical action then I shall happy come down getting pmt vibes and some woman rage lol

Hope everyone else is ok.

Jules xxxx


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## Bexter83

Hi ladies,

Hope your well .

Lottie, so sorry that this has come at your work and that your AHole of a boss is making you feel this way. I really really hope that your ok. Id love to take any anger out onto the deuschbag!  Xxx

Ok so just an update. Last scan & bloods today before Monday's EC. Yay it's def on! I have 10-12 follicles     For decent a decent bunch of lovely eggies. However, they called me today and said progesterone level is bit high and my endometrium may have past its best to get that batch of follicles up with 5 extra days of stimming had to do. So the lab are going to do some scans to check endometrium on the day but it's most likely they'll do EC and freeze the embryos and I'll go on a HRT cycle later and then have ET. Damn prob will need to have another scratch procedure done (didn't like that but whatever it takes). I know it's more waiting and it's a bit more worrying in terms of them making defrosting but this is better than putting them back where implantation won't happen because the lining isn't good. 
So my trigger shot tonight at 11pm (double dose 20000), going to feel huge, ha ha. 

Xxxx


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## poppy05

ooooooh bex good luck my darling, really hope you get a good batch of eggies, i was chatting to a lady in the chatroom the other night, and she was telling me, all her fresh cycles ended in mc or bfn, (7cycles) but her 2 fets gave her her twins and a singleton!!! nice story isnt it and def gives hope, so dont be disheartened if they decide to freeze, although im a bit worried about the thawing process, i do feel like my body might recieve the embies better as ive not just put it through the hell of ivf!! be thinking of you mon babe   
oh and to answer your question, im having my immunes done at my clinic which is the lister xx


lottie, im sorry you are having stress ar work, but they cant do anything while your pregnant, and if your performance is being questioned then you must be able to play the ivf card? you have been stressed, depressed, scared, anxiety etc?   


jules, how was your steak?    i thought of you as i munched on my chow mein!!! 


hopeful is everything ok hunni?   


zana, tricia, kirstie, becky, and anyone else who still pops in, hello hope you are all well   


Im ready for my snow babies, i want them back NOW!!!!!!!   
off for bloods on mon and i hope to speak to someone about starting fer with next months cycle, im not 100% sure exactly how it all works, i spose i should fet my fet info out the cupboard!!!!    im getting a bit excited now, i just hope this is the one now,    


happy weekend all xx


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## Mrs_F

Still popping by occasionally to see how everyone is. HUGE fingers crossed for you all trying again...  Bexter especially - hoping for lots of lovely eggie news and a perfect lining  tomorrow xx  
Big hugs. I am 16 weeks now and look it! Hurrah!
Hoping and praying all our dreams come try in 2015 xx


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## Bexter83

Awww thanks *Poppy* , Yep and also my friend has had 4 IVF cycles + 1 FET and she got her boy on Her FET also. I think it's to do with the recovery of the drugs, GA etc which is harder on the body to recover, so maybe on a fresh cycle, there's less stress on the body. Also they only freeze what they see scientifically look like strong embies. Oooooh so exciting for you hun  . We maybe on the 2ww together then and Jules too because she's on the long protocol. 
All the best tomorrow with your tests (we may just pass each other there). I hope it all goes well for you and your results come back good and with all the knowledge you need to adapt/alter or do anything, if need be. keep in touch with his yow you get on.

I've been ok, just want to get this over and done with. I just want to talk to the doctor before I go in for them to explain to me about the freezing process in this situation. I'm all up for waiting and having them frozen if giving better chances, with having better lining, it's just my understanding of the usual freezing process, where they will only freeze what looks the best quality and with survive the defrosting. So little nervous for tomorrow. I'll let you guys know what happens after tomorrows EC. Pray for lots of healthy eggs for me   .

Xxxxx


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## hopeful1985

Just a quick note.. been doing it tough unfortunately. They put two embies in on thursday. Got a phonecall this morning to say that although two got to blastocyst there were abnormal cells.so they coukdnt be frozen. Therefore no frozen embies (((( heartbroke


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## tricia1012

Hello ladies ,

Bexter well done Hun   and best of luck for EC tomorrow I'll be thinking if you , sorry the house didn't work out but there will be others you'll find your dream one it's waiting for you  xx

Poppy - I'm do glad your feeling positive I have a really good feeling for you and surely your right doing fet your body Wong have been through all the ivf so surely it will be more relaxed  don't forget accu Hun it really helps xx

Hopeful - had to pop on and message you ,, please don't be sad I got 15 eggs and these two babies were the only ones left come transfer no frosties for me either , at first I was upset but  look at me know !! Kept your chin up Hun xx


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## tricia1012

Oh and congrats on being pupo ! Fingers crossed for twins  xx


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## Bexter83

*Hopeful*, I know it's v disappointing and v upsetting but I think your 2 beauts are going to give you your BFP . It's horrible because when you first sign up to IVF, they usually give you the schpeil (lol, I don't know how to spell that) and paperwork which says about frosties and really give the impression that it's so easy and normal to have them but now knowing the truth about it, it's very hard to get them. I'm on the jan/February cycle buddies and there have been 2 ladies who got so many eggs, 1 got 26 eggs and she got 4 to freeze (if I remember correctly). Bug hugs hun, I know it's heartbreaking but I have high hopes for your little beanies on board!  Xxx

Thanks *Tricia* . I'm feeling loads better now. Think that trigger shot sent me a bit cookoo  earlier but went for a long walk and it's all ok. I'm blessed that I've got this far, I'm lucky that the doctor tried his best to not let it be cancelled, so it's all good. He said it would be a day 2 frostie, so my plan is to talk to the doctor at the lister tomorrow before I go in for procedure and will get it all confirmed and not let them fob me off with anything. I knew last cycle wasn't going to work for me but this time has not gone by the book and has been more stressful but I'm still feeling positive and all these crazy roads this cycle seems to keep putting me on, may just bring me my babies. 
How are you feeling?

Xxxx


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## tricia1012

Bexter - I know exactly how you feel my first two cycles went like clockwork this one I was all over the place and sick all the time but it all worked out . Don't worry about a two day transfer my doc explained to me that the best place for the embies is back where they belong  we get it drilled into us that we need to get to blast but so many women get there little bundles from a 2 day transfer ! I'm so happy you've got this far what time is your EC ? I'm a bit weird that was my favourite part of the process being knocked out for a bit lol  

Thanks for asking I'm ok bit of morning sickness but im not complaining xx


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## Bexter83

Thanks *Tricia* xxx I know what you mean, it's easy to get caught up in the 5day transfer thing. I'm a bit gutted that doctor said its most likely that my embies will be frozenon day 2 and I'll have to wait another cycle and do a HRT cycle and have ET at a later date, so I won't have the 2ww this cycle (he said v unlikely). I feel ok now and not going to let the lister try and tell me to wait day 5 or something to freeze them etc. I don't want them to call me in a few days and tell me that none are good enough to take freezing, so I end up with no transfer at all. So fingers crossed they'll say it's all ok to freeze and feel me with confidence that ET will take place at that later date, no problem. Annoying though because going to have to pay another £1100 for monitoring again for HRT cycle and another scratch procedure. Well if it brings me my bundles of joy than don't care, other wise it's gone from £6K to £7+ this cycle!

Xxxx


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## Zana37

Hi girls,

*Bexter* I am praying that things will work out for you. I also did the scratching, but I was told that the uterus take 3 month to regenerate tissue and therefore the scratching would last for 3 month so I am a bit surprised you will have to do another one so soon 

I went to the temple this Saturday and I wrote all your names in the list of prayers so I want you to know that for the next weeks there will be many daily prayers for you and me  

My scanning is already Wednesday but I feel like an eternity to wait! 

*Jules* you talked about the pulled pork the other day so I asked my hubby if he wouldn't cook it for me. I just didn't know it would take so many hours to make it. It took him 15 hours with grill and oven roast. So, he started last night at 03:00 am after coming from a party  . I even regretted having wished that. Poor him! But tonight I had an amazing pulled pork with salad and caramelized onions. I ate so much that in the end I was almost feeling sick


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## Bexter83

*Zana*, that is such a beautiful thing to have done, thank you, that's honestly v touching xxxxx 
That's good info too. Doctor us speaking to me later today or tomorrow and he'll advise next steps if having not having ET this cycle. So hopefully I won't need it again. 
Oh jeez, it's so soon but know what you mean, the scans must feel like the 2ww too, so every day is like a week in IVF World. Tomorrow when the DH is out and I can get in the zone, I'm going to light candles and pray to the gods for us all, I did that last week and actually felt better after too, think you need to have a good cry sometimes. I'm wishing you the best hun on Wednesday, I know it's all good .
Lol  that is hilarious! I'm picturing a very drunk guy starting a roast at that time of the morning . Omg it sounds heavenly ..... All this talking of food is making me crazy  , am at the hospital now and am on the last time again....dying for some water, aaaah!

   Hoping all goes well today, I'll let you guys know what the outcome of all is. Xxxxxx


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## Bexter83

The consultant had no idea about the call my doctor at satellite clinic made to consultant here about checking endometrium and likely freeze embies etc...

Had a scan done and getting it doubly confirmed but the nurse thinks my lining looks fine, so hopefully can have ET in this cycle.     For healthy everything.

In my paper under crackers and paper gown now.......totally think that the DH's job doing his business a lot easier, (wolf whistles )

Xxxxxx


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## K.Notman

Morning ladies!

Sorry I've been AWOL, busy bee as always!
The first weekend of Panto went really well and now we have a break until Friday when we do another weekend of 3 shows.  I've attached a photo (I'm the pirate in the foreground in the red & white stripy socks!).  It's really good fun and Jules & Chixy are coming on Saturday for our last performance so I hope they are ready for lots of heckling and audience participation!

No other news really, I'm not doing anything fertility wise as I sit out the waiting list.  I will have a proper catch up on everyone's posts later in the week.  It's exciting to see people PUPO and stimming.  Good luck everyone; I'm sending you all baby-dust and hugs as always.   

Kirstie


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## hopeful1985

Hey Bexster - how did you get on my lovely? Hope you are well. Make sure you rest up, still feeling my aches and pains from EC over a week ago. Take it easy lovely xxx

Hope you have lots of lovely eggies!!!!!


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## Bexter83

Thanks *Hopeful*  How are you doing today? Xxx oh you poor thing , I really hope the discomfort passes very soon . Take it easy and relax. Xx
Ok, So just got home. I got 6 eggs (2 more than last time), I hope there's lots of Petri dish rocking tonight  . So I will find out tomorrow about what's fertilised and if ET will be this cycle or frozen and another? But I will let you guys, or should I say ladies, know when I find out.

Great pic *Kirstie*! Glad the panto is going well and your having fun . I think we should all do FaceTime and watch on your last show too .

Xxxxxxx


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## Bexter83

Didn't mean , meant  ....stupid device! Xxxx


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## tricia1012

Bexter - well done Hun !! 6 is great I hope they get jiggy tonight I'll be   For you  great news that they might be able to do transfer for you aswell  now make sure you've got your feet up and rest loads so you recover from EC  .
And make sure hubby is spoiling you xx


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## Bexter83

Xxxxx thanks Tricia xxxxx
I was actually thinking on the journey home of all the ways I can milk this? I think once that clock strikes midnight, I'll be Cinderella again


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## poppy05

yay well done bex my lovely
6 is fab, praying for lots of petri dish loving tonight     cant wait to hear your news tomorrow, waiting for that call is so nerve wracking isnt it,    cant believe your almost pupo again   


Just a quick one to say i didnt end up going to clinic today, we woke up and dw had bad back pains, i had a horrible headache, so i rang my boss to see if i can have tomorrow off, and she said yes, so we had a pj day today and going to clinic tomorrow


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## Kazza79

Hi all

Bexter- well done hun 6 is great , you know they're getting down a dirty tonight getting your embies really for there mummy home   rest and milk it all you can hun lol it's your time now hunny   

XXXX 

Hope everyone else is ok xxxx


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## Lottie1802

Bexter well done again! Cant wait to hear how your eggies got on over night   xx  x

Jules thanks for the link, he is trying to push me out by saying im not fit for my job but im just gonna keep doing everything well and if he does get me out then i'll take him to a tribunal so sod it ! 
I hope you are well?? X

Hopeful I was like tricia and devastated I had no frosties and I was convinced the eggs I had put back wouldnt last ..and hear I am with two!!! Did not expect that so have faith lovey and im sending you sticky vibes x x x

Poppy! Let me know how you get on at the clinic hunny!!! X

AFM I just want work to make a decision about redundancies so we can all get on with our lives already!! Its hanging over our head and im worried I wont be able to afford the bills if im laid off ..but enough depressing stuff theres lots to be cheery about so ive given myself a pma stick wack


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies 

Thanks lovelies for your messages, feeling more positive already. Am eagerly awaiting to hear what's going on today.......eeeeeek!! Hehe Yep hoping their was lots of action in that lab last night&#128540;. Jeez, feeling the after math of EC this time around.....I was walking like the hunchback of Norte dame last night. Easing off though but weird it hurts this time around. I'm wondering if it's from the surgeon/consultant, prodding me around more than normal because I think offended her earlier&#128513;........I wasn't really with it tbh and I really wanted to talk with them about this freezing business. So she came in and I wanted to get the right consultant and saw what I thought was Consultant M.Abdullah, so I asked if that were her to discuss this and she wasn't impressed  , went for scan came back to the info on door and was a Mr Abdullah!

Oh no *Poppy*  , are both feeling any better today? Maybe you both just needed a relaxing day. Good luck today, will be thinking of you. What are you being tested for? Keep us updated in your news  xxx

Hehe I like your style *Kazza*, down and dirty! That did make me laugh  . How are you hunny?

Thanks *Lottie* hun  . Gosh I can imagine......we can all go and give him a    . I'd def start logging everything he is saying and doing from now, date, time, place, and exacts words. Also if you get called in to his office for a word or something, take your phone (in your pocket or something) and record the convo. Delete after if nothing worth recording but if things are said and said in an unprofessional manner, you'll have evidence and it's not your word against his. I hope it all works out for yiu xxxxx


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## Bexter83

Ok ladies, had the call  .
3 out of 6 eggs were immature. The other 3 were mature and all fertilised   well done DH👍. 1 fertilised abnormally, so was discarded. The other 2 are normal, looking healthy, are identical and they are v happy with them. They cannot grade them as of yet as its too early to tell but so far so good. 
The consultant has agreed with my one at the satellite clinic and they are going in the freezer right now   . They feel my endometrium is not right for them to implant right now. However, both times it has been the stimming of the eggs which have been the struggle for me and the consultant and both cycles lining and oestrogen levels have been perfect, this time it just went passed its best due to all that extra stimming time to get those follies. 
It's a bit gutting and have had a cry, prayed lit candles for us all but I'm actually v pleased now, as I can actually have a month of getting these drugs out of my system, get these emotions out, back on the diet and exercise plan and actually go out and be normal with the DH again, have the occasional glass of wine now and really be in a good place to receive my embies. 


Xxxxxxx


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## jules418

Morning ladies

Fantastic new Bexter, Glad that you have dusted yourself off and are feeling so positive about it. well done, a little cry is normal as every step is sooooo emotionally draining you don't wantto get your hopes up but inwardly you can't help it then you have a mini telling off session with your self cos you shoudl be prepared but your heart aches and then you feel better. It is all the inward stuff that is so draining isn't it. The i'm ok front we out on doesn't always ring true inside. Like you say you can now  get back to 'normal' and enjoy yourself for a month and that has to help with relaxing doesn't it. then before you know it it will be time for defrosting. 
I always think of demolition man when i think of defrosting haa haa. 

Lottie, try not to look too far into the future with regards to redundancies. It can be very very stressful but that is not healthy for you. Try contacting ACAS if you can they give great advise. Work as you normally do and you come across like you have a great work ethic. I hate this saying but .. things happen for a reason. yes that is the most annoying saying in the world but it is true and it is when you look back that you go oh yeah that was a bad time but turned to a great opportunity. We have had loads of changes at our place over the last 2 years, redundancies, ouotsourcing threat of more redundancies and of all the people who have gone none now have any regrets they are all smiling and happy. (unlike the ones left here) 
Sorry I am waffling on but the end result is you can't change what will be but you can change how you react to it. Hope that make sense and you don't want to punch me in the face for saying silly idioms. lets face it we get stupid ones enough for ivf let alone for other aspects of life lol

Kazza, tricia - how are you both?

Poppy - hope all goes well today with your tests, do you know how long the results will take? Did you buy any of those oomaphoopa (yeah forgot what they are called ) tablets? 

Zana - thank you for saying prayers, that is very sweet and kind of you. How are you feeling ? it is scan tomorrow isn't it. what time? 

Kirstie - Looking forward to Sat night love a good laugh I do ... oh yes i do  


AFM - I feel weird.....I hate my job. WAFFLE ALERT ... click here to skip to the end...... yeah that wont work lol 
You may want to grab a brew though if you chose to read. 

I am the type of person that if I don't like something I will change it, I like to have a good whinge very now and then who doesn't but I not one for going on and on about something and expecting it to change by itself. Sooooooooo I am struggling with my Job not the doing as it is boringly easy, but the fact that I HATE IT. Now I have applied for a a few roles I would be really good at (if I do say so myself) but am concerned about the whole new job IVF maybe pregnant side of things. I literally wake up and dread getting out of bed. I have never been like this at this company (9years nearly) but since we were outsourced they took my job from me and gave me a crappy job i did when I was 19 I hate getting out of bed to come here. 
I applied for a role in Oct but then pulled out as got my BFP well we all know how that turned out. I have just applied for another one. Obviously I am off to my consent signing on thursday and IF I get an interview and IF I am successful dates wise woudl fall around ET time ish. 
So in my head I am thinking I have put my life on hold for such a long time if this cycle doesn't work I will be stuck here even longer 
then I think If I just go for it I will be in a role I enjoy but if all goes to plan (please please please) I wont qualify for mat leave (which is good here) 
Then I think should I delay IVF fora few months to see to which I think hell no I have waited years and years and years for a chance to be a mom so I feel stuck and I don't know what to do. Do you get stat mat even if you don't qualify for company mat? 

Sorry for going on I feel confused about doing the right thing. 

Over and out

Jules
xxx


----------



## K.Notman

Good afternoon all. Well I have a relaxed workload this afternoon so thought I'd catch up on personals.

*Jules*- Everyone gets Stat Maternity pay but it really isn't much at all and if you are tied into monthly outgoings that rely on your wage, that may be the deciding factor to hold tight where you are. It must be awful to feel like that about something that takes up so much of your waking hours! Are there any roles you could do in the company where you would still qualify for their maternity package? I'm looking forward to Saturday too although it is always an anti-climax when it's all over. On the positive side- I'll be able to do chat room on Wednesday again!

*Bexter*, It sounds good that they have 2 good embies for freezing. As has been mentioned in the posts regarding *Poppy*- doing FET cycles can be more successful as your body has time to relax and prepare for that specific part of the tx. I know it must feel so disappointing though when your head has got everything planning on a time scale and that suddenly changes dramatically. Sending you big hugs. Make the most of this time with DH and as you said- be yourself. Enjoy your wine! Ummm, face time of the panto ha ha ha ha

*Lottie*, I hope things at work aren't too stressful on a daily basis. Sometimes the worst part of redundancies is the rumours and speculation which turn out to be nothing. Keep working hard and don't give them any reason to let you go. I hope you are well and healthy, looking after your precious little load and are taking things one day at a time.

Hopeful. When is your OTD? I hope you have spare tests so you don't rely on one on the big day! I hope the 2ww goes quickly for you. Look after yourself; eat well and sleep well.

*Poppy*, I hope you and DW are feeling better today and that your meeting at the clinic has lots of good news. I look forward to hearing when we can start supporting you again through your tx. I agree with your positivity that giving your body a break from ET and FET can increase chance of success. You have every chance of this working for you and we are all praying hard that this is the case for your snow babies to become a reality.

*Zana*, good luck for you scan tomorrow, can't wait to hear news and reassurance that everything is ok. Your prayer list is so considerate of you and we equally are praying for you too. This is such a miracle and we need all the help we can get!

*Tricia*, How is the morning sickness going? Nothing too bad I hope
*Mrs F*, wow 16 weeks! I hope everything is going well for you.
*Kazza*, how are you doing? I'm still thinking of you and inspired that it will be me one day!

Have a good day everyone.
Kirstie


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## poppy05

hello beauties

well done bexters eggies and dh spermies!!! im really pleased for you hun, i think freezing is very wise, and your body will be so ready for them come et 

just a quick one
so i had my NK cells bloods done today, i need to get a couple more hopefully through my gp, the thrombophillia and one i cant remember!!
but basically im doing fet with my next af!!
i am doing a natural fet, got to ring in with day 1 and book a scan
i will then start the steroids and asprin, then start the cyclogest, gestone and progynova!!!! 
this is it girls!!!!! arghhhhhh scared


----------



## hopeful1985

AMAZING NEWS POPPY WOOOOHOOOOO 

WELL DONE BEXSTER enjoy some time getting back to you and preparing ur body for ur lil lovelies xxxxx


----------



## Lottie1802

Jules just a quicky, you are entitled to smp if you have been continuously employed for 26 weeks in your 25th week of pregnancy,  so in other words they want you to have joined before you fall pregnant. But if you dont qualify for smp you should be entitled to maternity allowance from the government. 
My advice, life is too short so do what makes you happy, you'll find a way to cope no matter what....maybe I should listen to my own advice lol


----------



## hopeful1985

Ladies i have never been through the 2ww before,  can i ask u a question?

Did any of u ever have fluorescent yellow pee? Or have to wee in the middle of the night? Or struggle sleeping? Plus my boobs are big and incredibly sensitive. I can feel them all the time.

Thanks xxxx


----------



## K.Notman

Hi Hopeful, I can't help I'm afraid as I had no symptoms in the 2ww at all.  I hope it's all good signs though.  When is OTD?

Poppy, that's fantastic news!  Don't be nervous- be excited and positive. It will be good to look forward to AF for a change!

 to everyone


----------



## hopeful1985

OTD 29th Jan xx


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## jules418

Hi Ladies

Hopeful - yes, yes, yes and yes haa haa I thought my boobs were going to explode at one point I didn't mind though they haven't been that full since I was about 18 so yeahhhhhh. The yellow pee is just the vits and minerals etc that your body doesn't need usually a vitamin. are you taking the pregnacare pregnancy supps? I am taking the conception ones and I have lovely flourescent yellow pee look like i drank highlighter ink lol 
It is all normal and usually from the cycolgest tablets or equivalent if you are taking something else. Keep up your water intake xxx 

thanks Lottie, you are right life is too short and I have to follow my heart and fingers crossed the IVF works out for me this time around as as long as we save save save we should be ok I shall look at any mat pay as a bonus. I would rather be skint with a lovely bundle(s) of joy than risk no baby cos stressed and miserable. Yes you should take your own advise. thing is it is sooo much easier giving the advise than taking it !!! If I listened to all mine I would be super rich super chilled in a job i enjoy lol oh and super skinny gym bunny haa haa. 

Zana - wishing you lots of love for your scan today xxxx

So I am a div!!!!! yesterday I packed up my gym bag and was really not feeling going after work. at the very last minute driving home I swerved the car in the right direction and went. had to go to ASDA to get some headphones as forgot mine (£3 and actually really good) go up get changed and go to lock the locker. arghhhh I can't find my padlock anywhere I search and search as I am totally sure that that i packed it but it is no where to be found arghhhhhh. So I head home, it is not on the stairs where i thought it was so i recheck all my bags and there it is in a pocket in my gym bag that i did not know existed kind of hidden behind aa zipped one. Was super annoyed lol and today i can't be bothered to go boooo hee hee. 

Jxxx


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## Bexter83

Hi ladies 

*Poppy*, hope the tests went well yesterday and the ones you'll have done at you GP. Keep us updated, I hope all good results for you hun . You seem like you've got all weapons and everything ready for your Elsa & Olaf. Xxx

*Kirstie*, thanks hun . I know usually in the frostie world they keep the strongest embies in the freezer and that's another huge factor in why FET is very sucessful but I know that I need everything else in my favour, to be optimum to have the best chance, as I don't really get the numbers to go through that development of leaving embies to get to that stage. But I feel like there is something which is keep pushing all these bits to the limit to make this work.
All the best this weekend with your panto, can't wait to hear all about it from you and Jules. Send my love to Chixy too, I hope she is doing ok. .

*Jules* my love, I just love your messages! Ok where to start! 
Ok work front, as you know it's got to be yours and Bob's decision, as whatever you choose to do will only really effect you guys and the hairy gang (that's your dogs btw, I'm not calling you hairy ). One part of me feels like saying follow your heart because your happiness is the most important thing (which is true). I really hate how this fertility stuff really does put your life on hold and be one of the most important factors in this, same for me and it's bull crap (totally understand). If it's so bad that it is actually making you down and start effecting other areas in your life, then it's time to go. Like Lottie said, you will always make it work. If it's a case of feeling bored and stagnant than really think hard about it. As reality is that there are very very few people who actually love their job and sometimes the excitement and happier work life when starting somewhere new is usually due to learning new things and people and also not being involved or seeing the office politics because it's new. It feels like you know that when your babies (triplets ) are here, you can see light at the end of the tunnel, knowing you'll have a long break away and be in a different place mentally at work when you are there when you go back. I haven't come up with an answer, as I really don't know? But I hope I've helped in some way. Honestly, all the best with it and keep us updated, we want it to work out for you, we love a happy Jules . 
Lol, yeah that gym session was totally not meant to be! 
Omg I said the same thing to Mark, ha ha. I said what if they come out with super powers or something.....he didn't respond .

Thanks *Hopeful* . He he yeah I get the florecent pee too, it's from the pregnacare. Easy to say but please don't get caught up on symptoms or no symptoms, all ladies experience different things. Since trigger shot my boobs have felt full and nipples still feel like they're going to drop off their so sensitive, so it's all hormonal stuff, it's not meaning any outcome yet. Not long til OTD!!! Praying for the best news ever for you. Xxx

AFM, I think it was a sign about the freezing yesterday, as my last batch of 3 for 2 pregnacare supps, I bought 1x conception and 2x pregnant with omega oil. It was my last conception pregnacare tablet yesterday, so Tesco shop anyway, same deal and got 2 months of pregnacare and 1 x omega oil. This hopefully means it all falls into place this time!!   
Still finding out on how a HRT cycle will work and when, what etc. will update yiu when I know.

Xxxxxx


----------



## tricia1012

Poppy - yay ! Great news all systems go  get those babies back in there mummy  xx

Bexter - how are you recovering Hun? Great that your body has time to recover before your transfer itl give you time to heal xx

Hopeful- I had fluorescent wee aswell lol dunno what causes that maybe some of the vitamins  we  take ?  The 2ww is tough and everyone will tell you stay away from google lol . Just get rest and try and stay relaxed Hun , wishing you the best of luck   Btw, I was peeing a lot more during my 2ww and boobs swelled really quick so you never know  xx

Sorry for the quick post I'm supposed to be working lol will pop on later love and babydust to all as always xx


----------



## Bexter83

*Zana*, hope your scan goes well today, thinking of you. Xxx

Hey *Tricia*. How are you? I feel ok now, was still a little bit sore yesterday and getting those shooting pains which suddenly shoot up the mini moo but all fine now thanks .

Xxxxxx


----------



## Zana37

Hi girls! 

So I went to the scanning and unfortunately no good news. What they saw was an embryo with a size of a 5 week and I am 7w. They can't say 100% sure that it has no life but told me to be prepared for the worse. Next week I am going for another scanning and took a blood sample today for the pregnancy hormone test. Tommorrow by the end of the day I should know the results.

What a crappie day


----------



## BeckyA

Oh *zana*, i am gutted for you. Stay strong.


----------



## jules418

Oh no Zana.... I am so sorry to hear this. there are no words, just know I am sending you lots of love and postive energy


----------



## Bexter83

Zana I'm still hoping for the news to be different but I'm so sorry for this, I'm in tears. This is so cruel and I wish it wasn't this way for you. I'm really sorry hun xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Massive cuddles Zana... sending prayers ur way hun. Xxxxxx


----------



## poppy05

oh zana sweetheart, im so sorry   be strong darling, we are all here for you xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

U lot can actually tell me the exact supplement i take based on my wee colour lol. U realise we r all officially nuts x


----------



## Kazza79

Hi all

Lottie- I know how you feel about work hun, I'm bank staff but have done 5 days a week for over 2 years but now I'm pregnant they have dropped my hours and iv been doing just 2 days a week! It will effect my maternity pay as they will base it on earnings so im very very ****** off at the min, iv been told to look on ACAS and will do so tomorrow xxx

Bexter- I'm so pleased your cycle is going well and your numbers are so similar to mine   low numbers but good quality hunny   
Next month your body will be drug free and ready to be a mummy house to your baby/ baby's, so exciting hun and it will go so fast xxx
I'm good thanks hun just a bit let down at work x

Kirstie- I'm good thanks hun and im pleased things are going really well with you hun sounds like you still have a very hectic life lol more busy than mine lol xxx

Jules- I'm good thanks hun i really love reading your posts lol you always make me laugh lol and I defo agree you need to do what suits you hun, no one can ever afford kids as such you just afford to live with them lol 

hopeful- I alsohad crazy coloured wee so must be a good sign hun fingers crossed for you Hun xxxx

Zana- I'm so sorry hun and I hope you and hubby are ok xxxx

AFM- work is crap but hay ho who cares it's only money and there is much more important stuff going on so work can go ******** lol 
Hope everyone is ok xxxx


----------



## poppy05

Hi girls


Im sat here thinking about all my tx's and all the stuff ive been through with each cycle, and its just occured to me, this fet will be the 8th embryos ive had inside me, 8 potential babies    i wish i could fast forward a couple of months, i just want to know the outcome,    oh and im dreading the 2ww!!! although im not sure it will be 2 weeks as my embryos are day 6 blasts?   


Ooh i have a little bit of nice news, i think most of you whom im friends with on ** probably already know this, but dw and i are getting married on 2nd feb!!!! yes yes i know your all thinking 'but your already married' well technically no we're not, as we are in a civil partnership, we feel married, we say we're married, we had the most amazingly wonderful wedding day, but however you look at it, its not a marriage, so we are off to change our cp into a marriage!    no ceremony just us and the registrar and paperwork! 
we planned on going out for a meal in the evening to mark the occassion, and my mother in law wanted to get involved in celebrating, so our low key, we're not making a fuss thing has now turned into both sets of parents and siblings all going out for a meal!!!! i may aswell dust my wedding dress off at this rate!!!   


Im off out sat night, first real night out since june!!! i intend on getting completely wasted!! then thats me done until after fet/giving birth/child turning 18!!!!!!!   


Sorry that ended up a bit of a me post, well a complete me post! 
sending my love to you all, and zana more hugs for you sweetie


----------



## hopeful1985

Poppy....Amazing news hun. Congrats to you DW and ur families! I have a good feeling about ur next cycle. Mark my words. All the best hunni 2015 will be your year xxx


----------



## Lottie1802

Zana im praying you get a glimmer of hope today hunny but keep strong and lean on us  

Poppy! A proper wife, how romantic , I hope you have a lively meal to celebrate x x x


----------



## jules418

Poppy that really is lovely and it will be wonderful having a meal with the families afterwards that goes to show how much they love you both, individually and as a loving couple. Poppy there is no pint in dwelling on what might have been it is not productive and just depressing. Get some meditation cd's on the go I hear the zita west one is good although my acupuncturist is very against her methods not sure why. So look towards your lovely 'official' wedding day and little olaf and elsa who are waiting to snuggle in  I doubt you will have the full 2 weeks then maybe 8 or 9 days?? 

Zana - thinking of you today and sending you soooo many       

hopeful how are you and your nuclear wee? 

Kazza - defo get on to ACAS I am pretty sure they can't just do that unless it is requested by you or everyone in same role is given same treatment (even then i think it is iffy) 

Bexter you are funny 'hairy gang' I was thinking how does she know i haven't done my legs in a while haa haa haaa. 

Quick one for the prego ladies London way, there is an offer on ncrowd deals (used to be kgb deals) 4d scan for £69 saw it and thought of you guys.

AFM - I have the consent signing today and I have totally fogotten what we will be going through. Will we be going through what meds we will eb givem? I didn't get my review follow up letter and with xmas etc I didn't think about it til the bill arrived on sat. Also scared they will weigh me and say errr no you have put loads of weight on you big fat fatty fat (done in a little britain Matt Lucas voice)  Although i guess as this is paid by us they are less strict on BMI lines.


----------



## Bexter83

Morning lovelies xxx

*Zana*, hoping for different news when you next have to test/scan but just sending big hugs to you , during this terrible time. Stay strong sweety, you know you can come to us.

*Kazza*, I'm so sorry to hear about your work . Gosh what is happening right now!?! Def check out ACAS. I'm wondering if it's all a sign now, maybe all of us are going to go into business together&#128521;. I'm thinking we could set up another fertility clinic or something..... Spire Walnut Whippers. Kazza you can do payments and transactions, jules on computer programming and IT, Lottie on business side and all the important stuff, me on the property development/management, front desk too, Poppy on hair & beauty, Zana on cakes and food/beverages......we just need to find a doctor, lol .
Thanks hunny bunny, I really feel more hopeful, so thank you. Your journey is really encouraging for me and I genuinley feel more lifted, been having some weird moments lately. Xxxx

Oh *Poppy*, I know it's easy to start thinking like this and can go down a dark road but everytime you start feeling like this just come to us or do anything which turns that thinking around. You girls might hate me for this but when I was 22 I had an abortion and now this. When I went to the doctor at the time, not knowing what to do, he shouted at me saying he's just a couple in before me crying trying to conceive but can't, now I know exactly how they feel. We can't think about the what ifs and the shoulda woulda couldas. 
Poppy your body is going to be in a great state, that baby palace will be the most wonderful environment for Elsa & Olaf and you've done all the testing and are prepared with the appropriate drugs to get you there. I believe your snow babies are the one and it will be the best year of your life. I'm so happy for you about your wedding day too, about bloody time this law was in place, so it's fantastic. It is quite a good excuse to rock your wedding dress again&#128521;. Xxx

Lol *Jules*  Yiu just crack me up so much!!! We need to put all your posts in a book or something, definitely a feel good factor best seller!
You have nothing to worry about with that hun. It's a NHS thing where they try to rule out every single possibility in hope that you could conceive naturally, although we and they know we have fertility issues which definitely need medical help, beyond losing a few pounds. Also they think it will cost more because of any possibility of any complications. You really don't need to worry about that, you'll be fine. 
Have you had a consultation with them yet? I think each place works differently, as I went back to the same place as last time and in my review after my BFN , they discussed all the factors as to which that might have been and how they will change for next time. So they told me how the next procedure would be and what drugs I'll be taking. So they ordered the drugs and I started when they told me to. Maybe just to be sure, just call them so you can get this confirmed.
Oh how was your Mexican night last weekend? Did you go for wine in the end? Xxxx

*Lottie*, any news at your work place? Hope your keeping well . Looking forward to our tea & cake soon too xxx

*Kirstie*, *Tricia* & *Hopeful*, you girks doing ok?

AFM, essay alert!! 
I've been feeling bit strange lately, up and down like the 2ww madness it brings but maybe it's just because I need to know what my next steps are, so I can plan around it and know what to expect etc.. Last night the DH and I went out for our first meals in ages! First bit of alcohol since December, so went for a curry and I had a monster sized Cobra beer but as I was sorting the bill, the DH ate my after eight mint ...... I couldn't believe it!! 
It probably sounds a bit petty but I patched things up with my mum and sister yesterday as since Friday after I text updating them on losing the house and that EC was on Monday and I didn't get one reply saying sorry on the house or a good luck on Monday. I really don't expect much from people, believe it or not but I had felt foolish for sharing this and it obviously wasn't important to them. I felt sad in that hospital room that I got nothing and saw I had so much more love and support on this from friends on this forum (which really felt lovely and mattered). anyways, I didn't really know how to go about this, I didn't want to be immature and ignore their texts etc but just didn't know how to be? I've not always wanted to share all my personal things with them but a couple of years ago I was penalised by them saying I'm secretive and makes them feel unimportant in their lives......HELLO!! Well I was honest with them and I feel better now we've said our bits. Oh families! We really don't need anymore headaches than necessary during this, do we!? The Cetrotide does that enough.

Xxxxxxxxc


----------



## jules418

oh bexter     I have to say that I am soooo honest on this forum more so than with friends and family basically because they don't understand and want me to feel better so say stupid things which makes me mad haa haa (like the relax and it will happen grrr) 

I can't comment on your family as I don't know them lol but I am sure it wasn't intended in the way it came across. Also I don't think anyone on here judges anyone for choices that were made years and years ago and that was probably the better decision for you at that time. We can all look back and think oh what if but there is no point. I can tell you now I never ever thought I would be getting prodded and and poked just to have a baby, surely everyone gets those!!!!! but now a few (ahem) years later I am still learning so much about how hard it is how small the window of opportunity is etc etc. I was on the pill til I was 29 from 18 and I wonder sometimes if that has contributed to the 'unexplained infertility' but I can't change taking it as that was the place I was in at the time. My bestest friend had an abortion in Sept just as I was about to start DR and she didn't tell me cos she didn't want me to 'get angry' or 'hate' her...her words. I felt awful about the fact that she felt she couldn't confide in me and that I couldn't support her in what transpired was an awful awful time with the potential father (or as i like to call him the C word). She had to do what she felt was right for her and I totally support her action. It is irrelevant to me as I still wouldn't have been having that child. Does that make sense? 

I have been reading up the insensitive comments forum on here there are truely some shockers on there and some funny ones too. I have been giving it all a lot of thought about what people say etc. Before I embarked on this story I am 99% sure I would have said majotity of those things like relax, go on holiday, just miscarried? well you are most fertile now go have sex. blah blah blah. I am terrible for putting my foot in it anyway but it made me realise that this IF journey is so hard so emotional and makes us more sensitive to comments. So I am going to try not to get overly worked up by peoples ignorance and daily mail views (she says through gritted teeth haa haa) 

I love the clinic idea although I am rubbish at IT so can I be on recption instead I can be the enterance clown haa haa. dress up as a willy hee hee. Love the name too I have come up with a by line. 

Walnut whippers fertility clinic..... helping you to whip up a baby ...... (does this come in to the insensitive bracket? ) 

Sorry I am bored to day I have another story of foot in mouth syndrome. 

my friend was getting married and I was bridesmaid (yay me) she was also having 2 flowerladies, we were at the shop having fitting and talking shoes etc. One of the FL girls said 'Oh I am going to wear the shoes I wore to get married in' I said 'Oh that is lovely' turned to the other FL and said ' I hope you wont wear the ones your wore as your marriage only lasted a couple of weeks haa haa that would be bad luck' she looked at me and 'actually I was going to wear those' Arghhhhhhhhhhhh open ground and swallow me now!!!!!! anyway she wore different shoes hee hee. the other FL and her hubby are now divored though but my friend is still marries hooray 10 years this May. 

right I shall depart now fdon't want to bore you too much.... making a baked spud for lunch then off to hospital for consent signing and info I guess Oh and payment  

laters you crazy cats  

Jules
xxx


----------



## K.Notman

Very quick one from me,
Just wanted to tell Zena that I'm praying hard that the blood test results today are good news and that the scan next week can still show a little miracle. 
Bexter, I don't blame you wanting to keep this stuff to yourself.  I have to update the in-laws on general stuff- FIL is very good and texts me 'good luck' when I'm in hospital, MIL is rubbish and puts posts on ** about peoples pregnancies without thinking how insensitive she is but that's her all over- not thinking so I don't let it bother me as she is harmless.

Hugs to everyone.  Keep strong and positive.  Hormones have their own agenda and we have to accept that!
Speaking of which- I FINALLY started my new HRT this week so will see how I respond and what AF is like?? 

Kirst


----------



## Bexter83

Oh gosh *Jules* , I actually think foot in mouth is a disease ! lol, I'm sorry but that is so awkwardly hilarious!! Yeah i do have a few of those moments myself, I think a shovel just needs to be a part of the handbag staple. 
Lol, ok Jules on front desk and post transfer clown . You heard that some places actually offer this!? It must be in other countries. Honestly if a clown came in jumping around to me after ET, it would scare the s#!? out of me and my embies would run a mile! Loving the Walnut Whippers slogan though, def think we're onto something here.
Jeez tell me about it! You almost can't believe what people say half the time and to save friendships and not look like a complete nut job, yiur biting your tongue but your dealing with the emotions inside. 
Thank you for message too . I knew it was the right thing to do at the time but just one of those ironic things, which now becomes that bit awkward when at the hospital and your in front of your partner and the anethesist is asking if you've been under GA before and when and why and I have to say that. Anyways. 
I think it was v considerate of your friend to have done that, although you felt ok about it and would had wanted her to be able confined in you about that, I think it's more sensitive and nicer to be like that than the other way round, incase it hurt you and ruin a friendship. You are so right though, I'm sure we never even thought we'd be dealing with this or feeling this way now, although I knew and felt I would have a problem from a young age (my school friend remembers and says its weird that), but for a long time I just wasn't broody and then because I had been pregnant before, I thought maybe things would be ok in the future. But when that desire kicks in and problems start, man it's a horrible road! I'm glad you don't blame yourself for any of this, you saying you being on the pill. You had a life plan and wanted to do and achieve things, put yourself into a position to be able to have a family in the environment you felt fit before trying. Many of us did that and unfortunately it becomes harder as we get older and want to remind the clock but then you wouldnt be who you are today, have the relationship you have with your partner, we'd be one of the other people who don't feel this desire and appreciate how precious a baby is. I saw triplets today Jules and thought of you . 
How did you get on at the hospital? Xxxx

Jeez *Kirstie*, it is like those roll your eyes over things arnt they. Bless you, it's good you keep your cool. My inlaws are lovely but my MIL s obsessed with babies and it's all she talks about, knowing what we're going through. Like you, it's not meant maliciously but you can't see them without it constantly being like, oh your friend with the baby.....yes all my friends have babies and the friend your talking abouts boy is 3! Hardly a baby! Then it's constant stuff like oh so and so's third child. And about his someone was new to an area but found friends and they all walk their pushchairs up the road everyday! Just does my head in and I just smile! 
It's everywhere though. I went to Tesco the other day and there were about a million young babies and it's wonderful and beautiful but I look at them and their trolleys are full of processed food, rubbish food, not a Brazil nut in sight! 
So will you be on new HRT drugs to what you've used before then?
Kirstie, can I pick your brain, I'll be on a HRT cycle to have ET, after this cycle most likely. Nurse saud she's finding out but will either be tablets or jabs (I don't mind now) but it's new to me and wondered how it worked and monitoring side of things.

Xxxxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Woke up this morning with pink blood and cramping. Think my journey is over girls 8dp3dt


----------



## Bexter83

Hun, I'm sorry your feeling scared and worried, I really want to just give you a big hug .  Ladies were experiencing a bit of spotting and cramping and they got positive. My clinic said this time when I asked about extra progesterone that when I have my 2ww, that if I get any blood to call them straight away and they'll do a progesterone test and if low, put you straight onto gestone jabs. If spotting goes hun and you get your BFP, get them to do the test and go onto them if need to.
I'm praying it's all ok for you hun xxxxx


----------



## K.Notman

OMG hopeful, I really hope not!  Get checked out but think positive.  Keep us posted.  Hugs hugs hugs

Bexter- I was on HRT when I was 19 for a year but I had to pay prescription charges so then they decided to put me on the pill instead as it was free and would do the same thing as far as providing me with the estrogen I need.  The HRT I've been given now is in tablet form, you get 3 months in a box (one month per blister pack).  Each day is labelled and you have one colour for 21 days and then another colour for the 7 days in which you are due a bleed.  This is a new brand for me and its 1mg dose.  I'm just going to see how it goes.  They have to warn you of all the side-effects and risks to do with blood clots etc but if you are generally healthy then it's fine.


----------



## Bexter83

Please let us know how you get on with the clinic/hospital *hopeful*, keeping positive for you   . Xxxx

Good info Kirstie, thank you for that. Those tablets seem idiot proof, which would be ideal for me , as the colour change for when to stop for bleed etc would save a lot of confusion and stress if not taken correctly. All these hormones we pump into ourselves, it's a nightmare isn't it! I'm so glad I pinned down my hubby already and has 2 years to get out of this, as this weight fluctuation and flactuation  is enough to keep me locked in a cupboard, not the best place yo meet guys, lol. 
I'm really glad you've got a good supply now, it must had bee so stressful before when you were trying yo sort that prescription out and they wouldn't issue it (luckily you had some already). 
I'm hoping I'll be given tablets when I do the HRT cycle because I'll be forking out on more Emla cream all the time (I know I prob don't need it but it was such a great comfort and made experience stress free), if they go with the injections. Ok sorry Kirst, 1 more question. So I know you had fresh embie/embies transferred, whereas my 2 will be defrosted but how does a HRT IVF cycle work? Do you take HRT tablets from the first day of bleed? And then have scans and blood tests (like the usual IVF monitoring) prior to transfer? Are there many of those to have?

The embyrologist gave me the option to think about when it comes to transfer. My 2 embies looked healthy, identical and we're happy with them but was too early to grade them at that stage and had to be freezed then. So I've already paid the full amount for service there which includes EC & ET. So I either have a day 2 transfer and put them both in? Or they can keep them and see how they are doing to see quality and have a later transfer? I'm scared they might die off if I leave them. What would you girls do? Xxxxxxx


----------



## BeckyA

Personally i would stick them back in straight away *bexster*, as that is where they were meant to be!! Look at lottie, she had a 2dt (i think!!)

*hopeful*, stay strong, it could be a million things, late implantation, or that the egg has dislodged some endometrium, anything.


----------



## jules418

Hopeful I truely hope not and also sending you massive cuddles     fingers crossed it is implantation bleed or placenta attaching bleed xxxxxx

Zana - how are you today hun? how was yesterday?   

Hi everyone else hopw you are all ok. 

AFM - I had my consent signing yesterday, they have deffered me for a month so not DRing in Feb  hopefully will be March all being well. 
I have to have a smear done, I last had one in 2011 and although they recommend 3 - 5 years they want me to be up to day now. so that is booked in for thursday and takes 3 weeks to get results pfft.... they also want me to have another bleed as so far only had the one since MC and that was late so they said to make sure my body is back to 'normal'. weight wise I need to loose 5.5lbs so even though i can do that in a week they said cos i need the smear they still wont start me earlier 
Good news though I didn't have to pay so I have another month to save towards it meaning borrowing less off mom and dad which is great. 
So going forward Once I have had smear and lost the 5lb I have to phone up the clinic and get myself in for a weigh so they believe me lol and then I will pay get meds etc and start the process. Also having the scratch done which will be at the priory and that is to be done between day 16 and 21 of starting cycle. 
I have also booked another counselling session for next tuesday, I got a bit upset when I was chatting to one of the nurses I gues I felt bad for gainingthe weight that i worked damn hard to loose and felt i had let bob down. She was lovely though and so was Bob he said that it gives me time to relax and not stress and in 5 weeks (roughly when that cycle will start) I will have lost at least 10lbs without silly crash diets with out stressing about it, says give me time to look for a better job too and not be panicking about money. He also said that they wouldn't have started this month anyway as want me to have the smear so if I am to blame anything blame the gp for not sending the reminder letter. which made me laugh haa haa. 

Bexter - yes she was being sensitive to me and I really appreciated that I just worried that she didn't have full support but i hope she knows now that I totally support her cos i love her to bits. Ha I have loads of other moments of foot in mouth syndrome it is untrue can't think of any now. 
I think I mentioned my MIL's melt down on boxing day, she is a bit of a brat to be honest but means well. But this day she was awful and at one pint screamed at me that she just wanted bobby to be  adad then collapsed in to sobs...err yeah cheers for that can you move out the way I have mini chineses selection in the oven!!! anyway she hasn't spoken to me since !!!! weirdo lol 


just saw your question bexter - MRF had 2 day transfer with her little boy and I had 2DT too which worked although my progestrone was my issue (I recon) 
right am off to have my fruit and fibre 

Jules
xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Well been pink blood 3 wees in a row and now nothing!? Its stopped again. Stomach cramping. Spoke to clinic and said no point coming in as nothing to check. Just a case of waiting it out till next thurs for test and even if i continue pink blood i should still continue crinone gel and test next thurs... so i guess i just wait ?


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## jules418

is there a clinic you can get bloods done at? I know Birmingham womens wont test but there is a private clinic by me that does but not sure if that is just after a BFP result.

The only advise I can give you is to try and stay calm (yeah right) make yourself a brew, if you are at work go home and rest. take deep deep breaths which will help you stay calm and make sure you stay warm/wrapped up. We are here with you and the worst thing you can do is google it!!! 

Wish we were there to help comfort you


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## jules418

I found this when I was on my 2ww and it stated progress after a 5DT
So I recon you are one of the below stages as from ET you are 11 days which falls under the below stages
Day 10	Implantation continues
Day 11	Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop

so could very well be implantaion. Make sure that you rest up and keep your feet warm (apparently good for the uterous) also it is -2 outside brrr. 

Jxxxx


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## hopeful1985

Thanks Jules - really trying not to freak out

To make it worse I have my ET on 15th and i had a consultants appt booked for 16th - i rang the hospital to cancel about 10 times in the week before appt as i knew that with EC my ET would be around that time - anyway they never answered phone. So long story short I tracked down consultants secretary the day of the appointment and cancelled with her - she actually said that looking at the file she thought the appt was a mistake anyway as it wasn't necessary so soon after ET. So anyway carried on as normal.

Tuesday night I get home from work to a letter from hospital saying that as i neglected to attend appt i have been discharged from gynaecology and fertility care (bear in mind that I am on NHS funding so this automatically cancels my funding). Utter panic mode over night and stress through the roof. Rang them Wed and the stupid ditzy cow on reception said secretary never told them, told her not my problem, she said she would reverse discharge - i asked for this in writing and she said she couldn't put that in writing - oh and that she had to book me a replacement appt - even though i told her the appt wasn't necessary to begin with! in the end had to agree to her booking another one so I wasn't discharged!! I explained to her that they have jeopardised my funding and IVF cycle and that as i am pupo the stress they have caused me could have done damage and that i was really upset - she said don't worry i will cancel discharge and apologised for letter. Anyway I get home last night and there are no less that 3 more identical letters to the first one waiting for me on my doorstep. Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!


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## jules418

oh you really do not need that - have they said anything today? Honestly it really makes me wonder how these clinics function. 

have you been able to contact the consultants secretary at all, although I am sure you could do with out this today. Remember deeeeeeeep breaths

are you at home today? 

Jxx


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## hopeful1985

nope unfortunately I work at a small company where I am one of 3 employees - the other two are on holiday and not back till 2nd so I am stuck running the whole business by myself grr :/

I have tried to ring the gynaecology dept and phone just rings out again. i have left a voicemail for the consultant secretary to get back to me xxxxx


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## jules418

how are you feeling this afternoon hopeful? 
are you comfy at work? nice chair warm office etc. 
I work in a open plan office and I have fluffy sock in my draw for when I feel i need some home comfort (time of the month or if it is just too cold) If I could I would bring my dressing gown and duvet in lol 

hope you get through to the gynae dept 

Jxxxx


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## Bexter83

Thanks Becky  , I was thinking the same, the DH wasn't sure but my gut feeling was to put them in day 2. Xxxx

*Hopeful* are you ok? Have you heard back from them? I'm praying it's all good for you and it's a bit of implantation bleed. Thinking of you hun. What a flipping nightmare! You really do t need that kind of stress. Honestly I can imagine! I had constant reminder letters and calls from them when I had already called them to cancel. Sorry to hear that wirk is stressful at the moment too. Xxxx

*Jules*, yay you've signed on the dotted line and your all on for it! Whoop whoop  . I know it's a bit gutting for it to be delayed a few weeks because of your smear test (stupid doctors sometimes  ) but like you say, you have that time to prep yourself and your body and more funds in the pot. This time will fly by! The councilling session sounds really good too, it's amazing how much you can bottle up and you'll prob come out feeling like a weight has been lifted. You can really let off steam, as you've had a lot on, with your work too, so be really good to feel good for when you start making that baby palace. 
I can't actually believe your MIL did and said that!  , sorry don't mean to offend but she sounds  . Lol, you had the best reaction ever!  , ignore and tuck into a cheesy biscuit, that's just gold! I actually wish I saw it  . 
I can see your dilemma that you wanted to be able to support your friend but you must have a lovely and strong friendship to feel like you want to protect each other more than help yourselves. Pick hope your both in good places now.

Hope everyone is well xxxxxx


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## jules418

Ha ha ha yes she is crazy and so is SIL like a mini version of her... Night mare was interesting going away with them both in sept.... Never again!!!! I had not seen Mil like that before let's just say we won't be having her for Christmas again lol.  DH did warn me I didn't listen 

I have a phone interview on Monday eeek scary need to swot up for that and sell myself lol. 

Hope everyone is ok and that you have lovely weekend 

Jules xxxx


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## Bexter83

Nightmare Jules!! 😩🔫. Well more Turkey and christmas pud for you guys! Who wants trouble at Christmas. They sound awful. Glad Bob can see it, nothing worse than having the worst inlaws but they can't see it or won't have a bad word said about them. 

You'll be great Jules, good luck on Monday xxxx


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## hopeful1985

OTD is 29th but hubby cracked.last night and i didn't take much persuading. Did a clearblue plus last night (9dp3dt) and got a faint positive. Did a clear blue digital this morning and got pregnant 1-2 weeks at 10dp3dt. Unbelievable. Thought it would be too early to see anything. I got a BFP!!!


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## Bexter83

YAAAAAYYYYYY!!!! Huge congrats Hopeful that is wonderful news, am so happy for you. Did you have 1 or 2 put back in? Xxxxxxxxx


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## Mrs_F

Yay hopeful    CONGRATULATIONS!


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## hopeful1985

Had 2 put in. So happy. Trying to keep myself in check as i know a lotta things can still go wrong but YAY xx


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## Bexter83

Sorry hopeful, I saw after that your signature showed there are 2 (twinnies, yay!!!!). 
I know the fear doesn't stop here but this is amazing news and just keep look after yourself and your beanies on board, your going to fine hunny . If you do feel any concerns and just to put your mind at rest, maybe ask the hospital to do a blood test on you and you'll either know if your progesterone pessaries are all good and is enough or could start the gestone, if needing extra. If I ever get my BFP, I asked the clinic and they said they'd do this for me.

Omg I'm so happy for you hun   . The DH is still in bed and been on here and I'm not really cycling with the jan buddies anymore because transfer will be later now and was checking out other threads and was looking at so many peoples signatures almost brings me to tears (I don't even know the people) and then I start thinking it's never going to happen to me (wallow in self pity) and then I give myself a slap and think it can but then I saw your message and it brought me so much joy and happiness for you and so much more hope too.


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## hopeful1985

Oh Bexster u got me teary!!! It will happen for u my lovely. I have a good feeling for u lovely. All good things come to those who wait. Your embies r just waiting to be home with their mummy xx big hugs hun xxx


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## Bexter83

Thanks, that means a lot. Xxxx

Hope you and the DH enjoy this v special day  Xxxxx


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## BeckyA

Fabulous news *hopeful*, congrats!! You must be over the moon!! So pleased for you.

*bexster*, your frozen babies are waiting for you! Remember, "just because it is stormy now, doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine." Xx

Best of luck with interview tomorrow *jules*!

AFM, day 9 of stimms, taking a while this cycle. Got 3rd scan tomorrow so hopefully they have grown a bit over the weekend! Got the hot water bottle on the go all the time!!


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## Bexter83

I'll do lots of Follie growing dancing for you tonight *BeckyA* &#128111;, keep that bottle on , I think those follies will catch up beautifly and not long til EC. Let us know how you get on xxxx
Thank you for your lovely message, feeling more optimistic already  Xxxx

Second that, good luck tomorrow Jules xxxx

Hope everyone is keeping well


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## poppy05

Evening girls


I will catch up properly in the weeks as ive not read all your posts yet, but i wanted to come on and share something with you all, i saw a friend lastnight who ive not seen for months, and i know her sister has been struggling to get pg and has had a number of ivf's, well it turns oit she has had 15 ivf's and 15 bfn's, she decided to change clinic, and go for one last try, it turns out she has NK cells, and she's now 11 weeks pg!!!!! its not often i hear of a pregnancy where i dont feel jealous, but how amazing is that! im just so happy for her
anyway i wanted to share this as i think its nice to hear positive stories to give us all a bit of hope   


hopeful, huge congrats babe, its got to be twins!!!!!    xxx


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## hopeful1985

Becky keep nice and warm and lots of fluid and them follicles will be huge!!

Good luck tomorro Jules u wilk be amazing. Remember to keep smiling whilst talking and they will hear it in your voice xxx


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## tricia1012

Evening ladies 

Jules - best of luck with your interview tomorrow   Sorry you've had to wait another month to cycle but take the time to get yourself ready Hun xx

Hopeful - omg ! Congrats that's great news  I'm so happy for you maybe your joining the twin crew  xx

Bexter - don't get down Hun , your lil babies are just chilling waiting to get back in there mummy , and you'll be all healed and ready to provide a perfect home for the next 9 months  pma all the way ! Xx

Becky- glad to read things are going well with your cycle keep that hot water bottle strapped to you  best of luck with your next scan xx

Poppy - that's a lovely story to read  it does give hope to everyone , I don't understand why they don't do tests like these as standard it would stop years of heartache for a lot of people ! Did you have your Immunes done  last week ? I haven't read back through everything . Hope alls ok with you  xx

Lotttie , kazza , Mrs f - hope your all well and those babies are growing nice and strong  

Afm : sick again ! Shock horror lol docs said I'll prob get it through the whole pregnancy just one of those things , I can't complain though it's worth it . Sorry I've not been on loads just always in bed if I'm not at work - such a granny !! Are we still doing our whippers chat nights? Xx


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## Bexter83

Hey*Poppy*, love your positive story, how wonderful for your friend, her journey sounds long and painful so very special now she's got there.
Have you heard back from the lister & GP on your results yet? Hope your keeping well hun. Really not long now for your snow babies, I'm so excited for you&#128515;. Xxxx

Hiya *Tricia* hun, you are such an inspiration, you are so positive when I have to be fair you have not had an easy pregnancy at all!! I mean OSSH, in and out of hospital so many times, gestone jabs for 14 weeks and morning sickness the whole time and your still so lovely and grateful. I really hope that the sickness realky dies start easing off at least. 
Thank you for your positive words. I have felt like I've needed a few PMA bashings lately but I know it's just a combination of things. Xxxx


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## poppy05

hey bexter and tricia, i am going to call to orrow to see if my immune results are back, they did say 7-10 days, rhen im seeing the fp on tues to ask for my other bloods to be done on nhs   


hope you feel better soon tricia, bless you, as if you've not had enough crap to get pregnant and now your not having the best pregnancy,    i hope you do get to enjoy some of this experience


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## tricia1012

Poppy and bexter - thanks girls luckily morning sickness is not so bad that I can deal with , I'm on my fourth chest infection  but im already feeling a lil better tonight  
Poppy make sure you let me know if you get your results back Hun and bexter whenever you need a pma bashing you know where to come   Xx


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## Lottie1802

Hey ladies just a quick post before I go to the hell hole that is my work !

Hopeful that has made my morning! !! Amazing news, congratulations enjoy every second  

Poppy I agree what a lovely story , its nice to hear ladies finally get what they deserve, its incredible what they can do these days and we're so lucky that we have these options available   let us know your results x x 

Jules not long now and we'll be cheering you on through your tx!!! Eek x x 

Tricia I hope you are feeling better,  I cant wait for this blooming part of pregnancy that everyone raves about because I dont feel it lol 

As I said im off to work urgh ! I wish someone up there would send me a big fat redundancy package so I never have to see those awful people again and I can enjoy getting ready for the arrival of our babies stress free ...wishful thinking eh ! Oh well back to reality love to you all  x


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## jules418

morning ladies

yayyy *hopeful * that is wonderful news whoop whoop, I am so pleased for you as you were so worried on friday what a relief to see that extra line on the test (or the digital words) how are you feeling now? remember that spotting is still very common from implanation but take it easy and don't do anything too strenuous. are your colleagues back now or are you still on your own?

*Lottie *- it is awful when you are somewhere you don't want to be so I hope today is not too horrendous for you. Did you manage to contact ACAS?

*Zana * - how are you hunni?

*Tricia *-    you poor lamb poorly again you are good at keeping positive though although you are allowed to moan about feeling ill.

*Poppy *- oh that is a lovely story and you are right does give out hope sometimes a different perspective can shed light on things which may have been overlooked so it is great to hear she is preggers. I know that clinics like to 'wait and see' with early treatments in a lets try this and then it rules that out but 16 treatments !!!! bet she is over the moon.

*Bexter *- also sending you big hugs too hunny.     turn that frown upside down hun your frosties will soon be inside you so take this time to have some fun, like crazy fun. Run down a hill with your arms waving like when you were a kid and end up at the bottom a giggling mess.

I had a lovely weekend, chixy and I went to see Kirstie in her panto and it was sooooo funny. Loved the ugly sisters they were ace. Kirsties mexican accent wasn't too bad either but i keep singing 'spanish eyes' now haa haa. Alot of effor had gone in to it and it was great to see a good turn out. A bit of cheer after the January blues. Well done Kirstie  
Thanks for all the good lucks for today it is at 2pm and I am bricking it. I was so doubtful this morning I was going to calll it off then I arrived here and was like hell no full steam ahead haa haa so feeling confident now 

Love to all.


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## Bexter83

Hey lovelies 

*Poppy*, looking forward to hearing your results, I hope you get all the info you need .

*Tricia*, I think those steroids have a lot to answer for, the lowering of your immune system and the lack of sleep it seems to bring with those tablets too, means your suseptible to anything and everything, then the lack of sleep to help you recover from bugs. Your doing fab and not long now, prob doesn't feel like it now but July is not that far away (poss June for twinnies apparently). My gut still tells me your having 2 girls. I think mixed for Lottie and a boy for Kazza.

*Lottie*, so sorry work is awful, wish I could go and kick that boss of yours butt!
How are you otherwise?

Awww *Jules* thank you soooooo much . Honestly believe it or not but I'm not the usual self pity or attention seeking type, at all! I think these hormones and the scare of this cycle has been causing me to be a bit loopy and there's only so many convos I can bore the DH with, and ah well we all know the frustration of even trying to express these feelings to anyone who hasn't been through this (even when they want the best for us, but just seem to say the dumbest responses or none at all and your left feeling like a real c#?! (Excuse my French). But honestly you girls have really helped and keep me going   . 
I'm soooo glad we've been able to help you remember just how awesome you are and to go for that telephone interview. I hope it goes well. Don't worry, take some deep breaths and just remeber all the things you could offer them, skill set and personality. Goodluck hun! It's great that your just going for it and trying, got to be proud of that. 
I was thinking of you guys, glad kirsties Panto was fab! Sounds really fun&#128515;.

Xxxxxxxxx


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## Zana37

Hello ladies 

It's been some days since I last wrote so here comes some info on how I am doing. So last Wednesday I came home from the clinic and tried to cheer me up but it was rather difficult. I decided to go to the temple and come closer to God and tried to find some sense to all of this. The day after I had a cake to finish for a baby shower of a girlfriend whom also had difficulty to get pregnant and had a MC 1,5 year ago. Preparing the cake made me sad. Made me wonder if I will ever make a cake for my own baby shower one day. 
Thursday I called the clinic and was told that the HCG exam was no good news  unfortunately only 1350. I informed the clinic I was going to travel on Saturday and they were no glad so they asked me to go Friday morning for another HCG blood test. I got the answer today and it was bad news again, only 1400. It should have gone much, much higher. I felt broken, completely broken and allowed myself to cry for some time. The doctor wanted to scan me tomorrow but I told him I was in Austria, so the scanning will be precisely in one week from now, Monday [email protected]:30. 
I have been praying a lot for a miracle but now I am starting to pray for understanding. The doctor asked me if I have done a chromosome exam. I don't even know what that is but I know I have not done that yet, so I will have to do it when I come back. *Poppy* you mentioned your girlfriend had NK cells, I am wondering if I have that too!!?? 
I have been feeling a bit crampy but no bleeding so far. I hope you don't mind me asking you this, and that it will not be difficult for you to talk about but, my past MC had so many complications. I almost lost my life. I am panicking with the thought of next Monday going to the scanning and then being sent to the hospital to induce the MC. *Poppy* and *Jules* which method did you have and what would you recommend me to do when they will ask me how to induce the MC. I feel so terrified about going through the same again. I don't trust these doctors. I trust more women who actually have been through the same and know how I feel.
I am in Austria and while my husband and boy are snowboarding I spend most of the time reading spiritual and uplifting things. I need to get strong cause I know the worse is still yet to come.

*Hopeful* I am very happy for you! I hope I you will have all the luck I didn't have!


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## hopeful1985

So my PT yest morning said 1-2 weeks. Did one this afternoon (had a neurotic moment) and its jumped to 2-3 weeks in one day. Anyone know why?

Lottie hope work wasn't too bad hunni. Big hugs x

How did u get on with your interview today Jules? X

Tricia, hope you are feeling better? Keep strong hun x

Poppy, that story was lovely. Poor woman having to go through all that. Clinic should really do all tests before treatment. Hope u are well... exciting times x

Bexster i hope you are still be positive hun!

Hope.everyone else is well. Thanks for all ur congratulations xx


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## hopeful1985

Oh Zana ur post came up after i posted. Massive hugs to you hun. You are amazingly strong hun and i am sending you prayers, good thoughts and hugs.

Make sure you look after yourself as much as you can and lean on us when you need us xxxx


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## poppy05

Oh zana sweetheart, im so so sorry, im absolutely gutted for you i really am, when i had both my mc's it happened naturally so i didnt need any medical assistance, maybe when you have your follow up appt you could ask about immune testing? i had my killer cells test last week, am still waiting for my results.
sending you lots of love and strength, be brave my darling, we are all here for you


----------



## Bexter83

*Zana* my lovely, I just want to give you the biggest hug in the World   . I really don't even know what to say (I know, that's shocking). Ok, I don't know how you did your friends came at that point (although her journey is emotional also but it's just the timing), I think it would had ended up all over the wall or done a Miranda from SATC love cookie and eaten the whole thing, if it were in my hands but you must be a better person than most. I know your going to get there and we'll make you a cake for your baby shower, it probably won't look as good as your though.
As you know I think you have done the right thing by travelling and getting away through this uncertain and torturous time and I really hope it benefits you too. Keep praying and everyone will be praying for you for both your miracle and to send you strength and positivity through these dark times. I don't know enough about the NK cell test but I think having some tests done to get the the bottom of this and to find solutions would be good. 
I'm so sorry to hear what you went through previously, it's heartbreaking and scary to say the least. Did they give you any reasons as to why your life was so threatened when that happened? Was it the loss of so much blood? I don't have the answers for you I'm so sorry and wish I could help you more to help you be less scared. Could you go to another hospital or choose the best doctor to perform this if you need this op? Xxxxx

Thanks for the positive vibes Hopeful  . It's probably because you've had a super HCG surge, maybe? Xxx

Hope your telephone interview went well today Jules . Xxx

So spoke to clinic and my plan for these 2 frosties is that I should expect AF any day but if not by 2 weeks, they'll bring it on (probably with provera). So then I'll go on the pill again and have the scratch done again before that AF and then will start on Buserlin jabs, HRT tablets and patches, less monitoring than usual (should be lot cheaper ) and then ET. So it's looking like 2ww will be in March. Please let these be my snow babies  .

Xxxxx


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## tricia1012

Hopeful - I had a jump in tests like that  could be twins !! Xx

Zana- so sorry your going through this Hun sending you loads of   I'll keep   For you xx

Bexter - thanks Hun it def is due to my immune system but like you say only a few more months , 2ww in March you'll have Christmas babies  so exciting 

Jules. - how did your interview go ? Am sure you were fab  xx


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## hopeful1985

I will be waiting in march with pom poms to cheer u on Bexster x


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## jules418

Hi all

Zana I am so sorry you are going through this. I am sending you lots of love and hugs at what must be a confusing, frustrating and sad time. No words can change how you feel but know that all your virtual friends on here are with you 100% of the way. 
I also suffered natural mc so I didn't have to have any operation however a friend had a similar sad time and when went for 7wks scan were informed that baby was not size they were expecting and to come back in a week. Unfortunately the following week although had grown was still not the Size anticipated So again told to come back in one week. At this appointment were told was not a viable pregnancy and the following week they were booked in for operation. Luckily her op resulted in no additional body trauma but I wanted to share this so you have a different scenario to try to focus on. 
  
I think *tricia* had the nk cell test and was why was on intrilipid ..... Is that correct? Apologies if I have that wrong

Oooo bexter not long to go now then, it is Feb on Sunday!!!! You are defo not an attention seeking whinge bag you are however a div for putting yourself down so enough of that young lady!!!!!

Hopeful I too am voting at twins ha ha sound like strong little embies xxxx is OTD Friday?

Thank you all for the well wishing and pma must have worked as have 2nd interview (face to face this time) on Thursday Yayyy exciting. All very quick too which is good.

Love to all

Jules


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## hopeful1985

Yay well done for second interview hun. Delighted for you!!!

OTD Thursday xx


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## hopeful1985

Hi Ladies, Sorry to be a pain but can I ask for your advice again please?

I phoned the hospital today and they have booked me in for a scan on 9th. They do not do blood tests to check pregnancy... does anyone else think that is ridiculous? i requested one but they said no.

Also strange is that the scan is the 9th and my crinone gel will run out a full week before then - i explained that i was worried and do they need to order me more (although I pay for it) and they said no - it is their standard practice that you have enough gel to take you to just after test then you are on your own.

Am I being completely neurotic to think that no blood test and no gel is completely ridiculous?


----------



## jules418

Hi Hopeful

my clinic also do not do bloods but a clinic down the road do they charge £60. they say they dont need to do bloods as the test shows + or - and as they don't monitor the hcg levels i guess they don't need the bloods. 

I was on cyclogest tablets (butt bullets lol) and I had enough to take me to the end of 2ww. When I called up with my bfp they asked if i had previously suffered MC I had so I had to go get some more. 

so I recon they are on parr if you haven't suffered MC previously. 

I have asked if my clinic will do regular blood monitoring on this cycle to see if pregesterone levels drop and they have said no as they do notdo it but feel free to go private and have them done elsewhere although it is very very expensive. So they are not against me doing it but think it is not really worth while. I guess it would stress me out having to wait for results every day/otherday plus £60 every other day for 2 weeks mounts up £420 if every day then that is £840 on tests the clinic dont think I need. 

I get why you feel apprehensive though it is scary but trust that they are the experts and they deal with this all day every day. for peace of mind see if there are any clinic by you that do HCG blood tests. The one by me is MUMS. this is just midlands based (in Solihull) but may give you an idea of what to look for. 

good news for a scan day though yayyyy 9th feb is soooo close  

Jxxx


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## Bexter83

Yay super well done *Jules*&#127942;&#127942;&#127942; xxx

*Hopeful*, do you want to try giving BioDose on 0845 223 4494. These were the company who provided and delivered my meds (including the progesterone). Unsure if they can send if no prescription, I don't know? But could be worth a try? You could have a blood test done at my clinic and they may be able to issue with progesterone stuff or do prescription also? You could give them a call and try? It's Jacky at Spire Wexham on 01753665492. Your near Croydon, so you are looking at about 1-1.5hr journey but if you can't find anywhere closer, than try them. Hope you get this sorted hun xxx

FML!!! So had loads of stuff to sort out, loads of calls and things to sort out as soon as offices open but I wake up to a lovely surprise to the heating not working!!!&#128561; we checked the oil at the weekend and showed 5 inches left, as we're concerned could be due to Oder more (typical as we have to leave here this place in 1.5 months!!! And can only do a min order of 500ltr but anyways!!!), so I'm calling around and the earliest delivery is by Friday!!&#128557;&#128553;&#128299;  . I'm currently looking like a Romanian begger in odd blankets wrapped around me and fingerless gloves on so I can still make calls and get on with stuff. Now need to go and pick up some coal to put fires on over the next 3 night. Sounds like something from Little Women! I might actually go outside to warm myself up!!!


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## K.Notman

Hey everyone! Finally got chance to have a ready through and say Hi to you all:

*Hopeful*, I think a lot of clinics don't bother with blood tests and just let you stew at home waiting for the scan. You may be able to get one done privately somewhere else near you though if you really want. I think you should just trust mother nature and look after yourself and your precious load as your test results so far sound really positive! As for the cream, it's best to just go with what they do, think of all the successes they have where they follow their procedures. Have faith! Was everything sorted with your NHS funding by the way? It's such a nightmare adding stress to what is already a stressful ordeal!

*Jules*, Thanks again for supporting our little Panto. Very amateur but good fun none-the-less; and you both got raffle prizes, bonus! Really chuffed that you got a second interview and you can dazzle them face-to-face! Will you have to travel much further for this job or is it still convenient?

*Tricia*, how is the chest infection and morning sickness? You certainly have had a tough time of it! Keep up with those veggies and lots of water, early nights and TLC from DH. Bug hugs from me too.

*Bexter*, It's great that you have got your treatment planned out and it gives you such optimism for what is to come. Especially having going through it once it takes some of the fear out knowing what's involved. Let's hope Aunt Flow visits soon! I think putting both in on 2 day is best as that's where they need to be. As for my HRT, I had been doing 3 months of high dosage oestrogen pills to get my body used to it and get lining thicker each month (with the dildo cam checking each time, lol). My tx then relied on my sister's cycle so for the last month they just kept me going on the tablets for an extra week as my lining was not quite there on the Mon before Wed EC. I then had 2 day transfer on the Fri as only 2 of the 4 ICSI embryos fertilised so they put them straight back in. My lining was 7.9mm on day of transfer which was the best they have been able to get it. I'm hoping that a year of low dose HRT won't cause problems getting my lining thick enough next time. I suppose they'll increase the dosage when they've found a suitable donor? One of many questions I'm going to ask my clinic this week!

*Poppy*, how long will you have to wait for your Immune and Killer Test results? What exactly are they? I hope it helps you to fine tune what's needed for your treatment to be successful. Knowledge is power! Thanks for sharing your positive story- 15BFP's OMG I don't think I could do that! But all worth it now and that's what keeps us going I suppose.

*Zana *I'm so so sorry for you my love and sending you big hugs too. I think you need to ask more questions from the consultant as to what other tests could be done? Do they think the problem is with your eggs- might using donor eggs be worth a try if so? It's such a painful journey but we are all here for you to let your emotions out- don't bottle them up. You are so strong making the baby shower cake but you are allowed times of weakness to. As you say, acceptance and understanding will bring you peace xxx

*Lottie*. I hope things at work can improve for you and that a good redundancy package comes your way! In the meantime, just take it one day at a time and think what an amazing future you have to look forward to.

*Becky*, how are you follies doing, what was the scan like? Not long to EC now. How are you feeling? Look after yourself.

AFM, well as you know it's been go go go with Panto and work but last night I savoured the opportunity to have a night in. DH cooked scrummy lasagne, I enjoyed a glass of Vin Rouge, Pj's on, sofa and 'Silent Witness'! Although I was so tired I went to bed half way through for an early night! Our after show party was on Sunday and that was great but I had a wee bit too much Rose and a late night! All good now though and taking stock of what February brings- the chance to catch up on everything that has been neglected!
I'm chasing up the hospital this week. There is a Senior Nurse in charge of the donor treatment and I keep phoning on her day off and she hasn't called me back yet. I need to know more about the procedure that's involved with finding an egg donor and then when my treatment would start in relation to that. I know it's not going to happen any time soon but I just want to know what's going on.

So I'm just enjoying life really. Still doing weekly weigh-ins (weight-watchers online) but have not found my exercise mojo since December yet. I'm still cycling to work and doing karate twice a week so it's not all bad but my food choices have still been a bit naughty. I'm still a stone heavier than at my fittest last summer and I'd like to be there again for this summer but BMI is still ok and I'm feeling happy, which is the main thing. As I said before, DH & I are just having some time-out from the stress and enjoying quality time.

Have a good week everyone. I'm still reading the tread daily but don't always get chance to respond but I'm sending you all best wishes, hugs and baby-dust!

Kirstie


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## Lottie1802

Zana I just wanted to pop on and send you all my hugs lovely    

Bexter I hope that heating is sorted  

Hopeful I hope you and bump are doing well, I have my money on twins!!

Tricia I hope your feeling better today x

Love to everyone else x


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## jules418

Hi everyone

hope you are all ok.

*Zana * hunni how are you at the moment are you stillin austria, I hope you are having as nice a time as you can be at the moment. sending thoughts and love your way.

*Bexter *- how are you how is the house do you have heat now?  any joy on the house hunting front?

*Kirstie *- I was very impressed it takes a lot to put on such a show and you were all having fun and the audience could feel that too. I also learnt pirate ship in sign language so a double bomus and an angry birds colouring book with crayons non the less so all in all a successful night out  
The job will be in the center of Brum so I can get the train in. although this will then bring up a travel issue at home. Bob also works in brum and I make him ride his bike (haa haa I am so evil) so IF I am lucky enough to be offered the role do I then ride my bike ( I can't ride a bike) or do we both get train (£120 for both) maybe I shoudl write in to money saving supermarkets money morale dialema haa haa.

I hope I do get it, it will mean longer hours harder work more pressure travel to london etc oooo love it haa haa I am soooooooooooooo bored here I need a challenge.

*Poppy * - how are you hun? Whats new in your camp have you had the results through yet?

*Hopeful * how are you feeling today?

AFM - I had another counselling session yesterday afternoon, it went really well and to be fair I don't think I needed to go. Well I needed to go to prove I didn't need to if that makes sense. I had a couple of wobble moments but no tears and I was able to talk about stuff without being angry etc. It was a good session and she agreed I had come along way since before christmas. 
Weigh in wasn't great though. maintained was really dissapointed in myself so I need to focus this week as I want 3lb although I also have grandads 90th this weekend and there will be a massive carrot cake nom nom nom. but no cake or baby!!!!! that is the mantra from now on....

Love to you all fabulous ladies.

Jules
xxxx


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## BeckyA

Ladies, a quick "me" post but sending everyone love and hugs  

Currently on day 13 of stims and had final scan today and finally got go ahead for EC this friday. Can't wait! This has been the longest stimms of the 3 cycles (why any 2 cycles are never the same?   ) and to my surprise my good left ovary has hardly responded but my dodgy right ovary (which I had an endometrioma removed from last year) has totally upped its game and has 8 fabulous follicles!

On the down side I have got a cough this week which naturally i was freaking out about as EC is under GA so thought they might cancel. Mentioned it this morning and while they weren't too happy they have given me prescription for compatible meds to try and shift it. Also my boss is being lovely as we have 2 teachers off sick with flu and i should be doing their classes, but i have no voice, so she is gonna do them. I burst into tears at this and blamed the hormones!!

Anyway, i will catch up with proper personals on friday after eC!!


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies  how are we all?

Kirstie Yep I think you girls are right, so far it's 3 against 1 unsure (the DH), so that's it then. Thanks for the info on how a HRT cycle works, even more of a juggling act for you because trying to time two women's body to ET fresh. Well I hope they will increase dosage if needed when you start your cycle (I'm sure they will). I'm pretty confident you won't stand for being palmed off with any rubbish, your very on top of things and know your stuff. I have no idea of what brand or dosage I'll be on but I'll let you know when I do. I'll be on Buserelin jabs and HRT tablets and patches. 
Love that you have a plan for Feb, really makes me laugh though cos I know that feeling.....lists, things to accomplish etc. Great that you'll be pressing the hospital to put things into place ASAP. I wish I had more eggs, if you even wanted mine,lol, I don't do refunds or exchanges if it cries too much  . I just wish I could help. Drives me mad the nhs sometimes!! My best friend who I've mentioned few times before who's been on about a 14 year battle of infertility and she has to be one of the strongest women I know but it really upset her yesterday to see on the news about giving money as an incentive to pregnant women who are smoking still. Her anger came from the point that this baby is so precious and it's not to them. The audacity to cut back on nhs ivf treatments and making it even harder for women, it's just disgusting really. I know that if this does come into place it probably is either an election ploy or its to save more nhs costs due to more birth complications maybe or the more chance of long term health damage on the baby which the mothers can probably claim disability allowance for it, to increase long term hand outs. Anyway it's very upsetting when we know just how hardworking, lovely and worthy of being able to be given the chance to fulfill our dreams of having or complete our family, we all are. Rant over, lol! 
How was your lasagne? You've definitely got a keeper there Kirstie  , cooking you dinner, lovely. Love silent witness too. Hope you had a good night.
Your Panto sounded great fun! You looked wicked in your pirate costume too. Not long till you'll be planning the next one. The time just seems to fly by. 
Diet and fitness plans sounds great. How's the DH getting on with it to?

Oh no *Lottie*, I saw that your not feeling too great  , big hugs hun  , hope you feel better soon. Any news with your work or still yiur boss being a dick!?
Thank the Lord that we got the heating working late last night. It was freezing and I felt dirty but no way could I had got naked and jumped into water  . Luckily I had my glastonbury training and wet wiped the important areas (sorry TMI) but I had to go to Derby yesterday and all I can say was thank god for Batiste and Chanel!

*Jules* good luck today, thinking of you and hoping it goes well for you. Knock em dead  . Lol, I think you should write to Martin Lewis personally but he'll probably to get on your bike. 
That's briliiant chick! Good to know that you tested it and showed that you've come a long way and know that you don't need the councilling. I really think having a plan to move forward to next plan really is a massive turning a point. 
Awww too cute☺. Have a lovely time at your Grandpops 90th  , hmmm carrot cake, yum!

Jeez tell me about it *Becky*! I felt the same this time. Went from what felt like a very short plan to a seriously dragged out stimming stage with 3 extra clinic appointments which put me on edge constantly with the EC might not be on. Gosh it's a head f#!?
Well how weird that your ovaries have swapped behaviour? So do you think it could be due to having that op/procedure done then?). 8 follies!! Whoop whoop  . 
Really glad your cough hasn't stopped EC but unfortunately the lack of fluids before op and then the sore throat after it (from pipe thing) might not be nice but just get those lovely eggies out and go for it with the food and drink after. Nice to know your boss is helpful and supportive, makes a huge difference to this already uneasy time. 
Wishing you the very best tomorrow. Let us know how you got on. I'll be putting Will Smith 'get jiggy with it' on Friday night.

*Zana*, thinking of you. Hope your enjoying Austria. Xxxx

*Hopeful*, how you doing hun? Any news on the meds?

Hey *Poppy*, *Tricia*, *Kazza*, *MrsF* 

AFM, hoping AF arrives ASAP. The sooner it comes, the sooner I'll be on the pill to start next bit. Thinking I'll be on my 2ww at the end of March. Hate that everything just seems to be dragged out!


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## hopeful1985

Hey Lovelies

Well today is the Official Testing Day - still showing 2-3 weeks pregnant so happy days - Although I have suddenly turned into a neurotic mess. 6 tests I have done since Sat! Ridiculous!! Every stomach cramp I panic, I can't believe I am lucky enough to get this far and i am waiting for the luck to run out. 2ww seems a doddle when compared to the additional 10 weeks I now have to wait until I am in the 'safe' zone. Does the panic ever leave girls?

Hospital have given me enough crinone to last until Monday and that is it - they will not budge - its their standard procedure

How can they stop it without doing a blood test to ensure I am making enough progesterone naturally?

Especially after the newspaper story in dailymail yest of a lady who suffered 3 miscarriages due to low progesterone and had to fight her GP for a prescription for crinone.

Do you think its worth asking the GP or will they not get involved?

Hope you are all well xxxx


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## K.Notman

Hi *Hopeful*, if it were me, I'd ask my GP and then I know I've done everything! If you offer to pay for it then they can't argue right! I don't think the worrying ever goes from people doing fertility treatment but you learn ways of coping with it and talking through with people like us who help offer support. Keep up the healthy routines and take each day at a time.

Hey *Bexter*, thanks for all the encouragement. I still have days when I feel lost about everything. I completely agree with your rant though and am still grateful I have one more NHS try even if I do have to wait for it. The world isn't fair and we have to deal with it. You made me smile with your offer of eggs but no refunds, lol! I just wish my clinic would do more advertising etc to get more donors so the queue mores quicker. I think when the law changed a couple of years ago so that children can seek their biological parent (donor egg/sperm) it has put potential donors off. It's why a lot of people go abroad for tx too as they want the anonymity.
My lasagne was lovely although he used lamb mince for a change and it was a bit fatty for my healthy eating but tasted gorgeous! I'm still meeting up with my drama group on Fridays for socials and we go out to support other am dram groups throughout the year so it's not completely over between Pantos.

*Becky*, good luck for EC tomorrow and I hope you have a nice chilled out weekend to relax and treat yourself to things before ET and the dreaded 2ww. I'll be thinking of you and lots of little eggies. It's great that work have been good to you as you need to be stress free with all this going on. Focus on the miracle in hand. 

*Jules*, I think you should def cycle into Birmingham and then the weight would fall off you and you could jump on those scales at your appointment with a beaming grin on your face and say "bring on the babies" and you can have your cake and eat it! Enjoy your Granddad's 90th party. I'm so glad you felt more positive from your counselling session; it helps you move on and feel more in control. I'm wondering if there is a councillor who can do something for my fading patience 

Hello everyone else (don't forget to read my other personals those who missed them the other day).
Sending love. Keep warm in the wintery weather and keep positive.
Kirstie


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## poppy05

Evening girls


Im sorry for the me post, but sending lots of love to you all   


So i received a phonecall from my consultant tonight!!!
I have high NK cells!! so i will be on steroids and ivig
i have mixed feelings about this, firstly im over the moon to finally after 19 years know why im not a mummy, and why ive lost 2 babies
but secondly, im fed up because the ivig costs £1000 per treatments, and i will need 3 of them!!
we just dont have the money, we have just enough for fet, so we are going to have to wait, we are going to have to just try to save what we can, we only paid for a years storage for embryos, so we will have to do it before oct, im hoping upon hope its only put us back 3-4 months, it could be worse i guess, i could've not had the test and mc again!!!


I wish they made more of this test, it could save so much heartache for couples, oneday when my baby is sleeping next to me, im going to write a book!! 


anyway girls, thats my news, im happy but fed up, will catch up soon, love to you all


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## tricia1012

Hopeful- ask your gp they will def write a prescription for cyclogest , mine just did one for me that will last me up until 20 weeks . There's no harm you can never have to much progesterone , and no unfortunately you do worry about every little cramp but  try and not stress it's just your bubba snuggling in  xx

Poppy - I know it's a mixture of feelings getting those results I was the same at first u was really happy just to have some answers then I got upset because of all the extra costs and treatment . But as you said thank god you know before you do your fet ! Still think you should get your results and check if intralipids could be an option ? Some clinics just push for ivig straight away . Why don't you post your results to agate on here Hun   Xx

Lottie - hope you are feeling better   I feel your pain , rest up and keep warm xx

Bexter - hope af turns up soon  so you can get started !! Don't get me going on nhs ivf cutbacks my rant won't stop lol   Xx

Becky - best of luck with EC thinking of you xx
Kirstie , Jules , Kazza , mrs f hope your all well xx


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## poppy05

hi tricia
my cons said my cells reacted best with ivig
i dont actually have a copy of my results, i'll email to ask xx


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## Bexter83

Hiya *Poppy*, wow that's what we call a bitter sweet! It's weird because you want something to show you what the issue is, which it has done but unfortunately comes at a large cost to fix this, which also delays your FET. Really good you went for these tests before Elsa & Olaf transferred. I know this must feel dragged out and to everyone else it seems fine but to you it's feels hard because your the one living it, putting things on hold etc but I hope this time goes fast for you, save loads of money and you'll have the best environment for them to grow in. 
I'm going to be on steroids when I am ready for ET but now am considering this test. I'm really at the point where I just want to be a mummy so much it hurts and I need this to work, this cycle has cost me so much more than the last one, and still hoping I'm not got g to be billed for these 2 months of freezing). So if you don't mind me asking (won't be offended if you don't want to say) but what blood tests are involved to get this answer about the NK cells and roughly how much it would cost? I have time before the transfer and now seriously considering it. Thanks Poppy xxx

*Hopeful*, I don't think the panic ever goes sorry to say. We go through this journey and learn far too much about the science of fertility and all the stages and potential falls, that I cant imagine you ever relax until it's in your arms. I also think you almost can't believe its real too. I flip through feeling very alien to seeing a bump and strange to having very vivid future dejavu moments which seem so real, like a snippet I to the future. Kirstie and Tricia are right, as hard as it is to do. Just demand or get progesterone from somewhere, if there's a will there's a way . That's a good idea what Tricia said. If the GP causes problems, go for the tears , I refused to leave, I got my tonsils out after that but poor GP! I think I scared her! Def Eat and keep well and take one day at a time.

Hey *Kirstie*, your panto gang sound fun, good you get to have a full year of that. Hmmm yummy, lasagne sounds good .
Yep I really hate that about the system and like adoption in this country too, so I can understand why people have donors and adopt from other countries. There also needs to be a lot more advertising and awareness made on donor eggs and sperm, rather than the odd manky old poster on the doctors surgery wall, along with a million others (if that) and most people who are at the doctors are over 60 or mums with their kids, not a huge amount of people in between.

Thanks *Tricia* , I'm still waiting for AF . I'm so hoping it will arrive in the next week or I have 10 cats on Provera and then it arriving around 4 days after that, so more time added. Grrrr! Come on! You know what is funny, it just shows you that on your 2ww you cannot read into any symptoms. I hadn't had ET but had the exact same symptoms as the girks on theirs, I still have full sore boobs (I wish these would stay ) but I was feeling sick and all sorts. It's a good lesson, I knowi can go onto my 2ww with not reading into every symptom.

Xxxxxx


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## BeckyA

Just a quickie ladies, got 6 eggs at EC this morning. Now as you may remember the clinics here don't update you on embryo process  so I just have to rock up on Monday morning for a 3dt!!

*poppy*, pleased you got some news that has shed light on things, but boo it costs so much. If i had the money i would lend it to you straight away. Xx


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## Bexter83

Yay Becky 6 eggs  Well done. Am praying for lots of jiggy action tonight💏. Well rest up and not long to wait😃. Excited for you!!!!  . Keep us updated and will be thinking of you on Monday. All the best xxx


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## jules418

morning ladies

hope you are all ok.

*Poppy* I am glad that you got some answers finally!!! but yes a gut wrenching turn of avents also. However I have faith that you can save that money in the alloted time. I don't know about you but sometimes having a final date in mind gets me in to gear and focused and helps me to re-evaluate my finances and food items, usually the latter for me as my goals so far have been to lose weight, I am now venturing in to weight loss and money saving eeek. I too would be interested in how to go about getting these test if you don't mind.

Hopeful - like the other girls have said see your GP and demand. Also are you having acupuncture? My acupuncturist would put attention on that area but obv not as much as i needed but live and learn and all that stuff.

BeckyA - whoop whoop will be doing the jiggy jiggy boom boom dance all day for your lovely eggies   

Bexter - Glad you got your heating sorted hun, defo not the best week for that to be failing. what happens to the left over gas when you move out do you get refund? any joy on finding new pad? there is a house by me up for sale 

Kirstie - do you do any am dram stuff through out the year or just the panto? how are you getting on with your HRT tablets? noticed any differences from before?

Tricia - how are you feeling hun still got your chest thing.

AFM - AF finally arrived yesterday morning which I was pleased and a bit miffed by. today would have been better as I had a smear booked in and had to post pone til end of next week and then i had my interview but hey ho that was what was meant to be


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## jules418

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got offered the Job !!!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh haa haa haa whoop whoop excited and really scared


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## hopeful1985

WOOOHOOO!!!!       

WELL DONE JULES!!!!


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## Bexter83

YAAAAAYYYY! Huge congrats Jules! Brilliant news, where's that naked kart wheel emoji when you need it!? 
I'm so happy for you . 
Hopeful I can't believe you pulled out the dancing bananas, I swear your scared of them  hehe.
Typical jules isn't it that AF arrives and smear delayed. It's all meant to be though, there must be a reason for all of this. 
Totally know what you mean about tightening the belt with finances when you need to. You realise how easy it is to spend willy nilly, like buying coffee on way to work, lunches out. You start seeing all these things which soon add up. 
Lol, could up you imagine if we were neighbours, we'd be chatterboxing all the time  . We're viewing a property tomorrow, ironically enough is called Snowdrop Cottage, thought it was a sign or a joke when we had no heating, but also maybe a sign for my snow babies . Gosh it's very annoying, the oil is out into a large tank which the delivery guy has to put in and 500ltrs is the least amount you can have delivered and no way can get a refund or anything, very annoying. And not only that when we moved in, we had no heating or anything because the last tenants left no oil in it which damaged the boiler and had to get a delivery and go for days without heating. Anyways, I think I may try and get a refund of the wine I had to get to self insulate from the landlord!


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## poppy05

hi girls

im at work in my phone so this will be a very quick reply

jules and bex
i had my NK cells test done at the lister, they took 4 vials of blood, if your blood shows high levels they then put your blood with the different treatments to see which one they react with best, for me its the ivig with steroids
it cost £590 for this test
girls please please please have it done, dont risk another bfn or mc, im so bloody pleased i insisted on this test
i'll pop back later xxxx


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## Bexter83

Thank you for that Poppy , talking to the DH about it and seriously considering and weighing it all up. The cost, time, mostly emotion and heartache from a BFN and gosh a MC, I can't bare even thinking about it, it all seems so worth it. This test is so pricey, so don't know what yo do? But it could avoid heartache or rule out that factor. See this cycle my doctor is just putting me on steroids as he questioned as to why I got a BFN last time and said the testing is expensive so just doing steroids but now I really don't know what to do? I'll talk more with the DH and doctor and book it in ASAP. Xxx


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## poppy05

bex hunni if you can afford to do it then please do, i just cant get over that this is my problem and always has been, all those tx's, 2ww's, anticipation, hope, celebrations of bfp's, tears of losses, and all along i would never of held onto a pregnancy, that £590 could of saved me thousands had i of had it done earlier


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## Bexter83

Thanks Poppy, it has been wracking my brain ever since  but there is something there really niggling in me to have this tested. I think I know the answer. I know how hard it is for me to get these eggs and I need to keep the precious embies I do get. Xxx
Lol jules, maybe we can go together and see if they can do a BOGOF deal😜.
I've tried to be good and this is my last blow out but I'm 4 G&T's down, feeling kinda happy   Xxx


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## jules418

morning ladies

Firstly, want to wish *poppy* and her DW all the best today with your wedding and it being official. xxxxxx

I am going to look to see if they do those tests closer to home had a look on some sites at the weekend but didn't get chance to look properly, however if they doa BOGOF I will make the journey to lister with you *bexter * haa haa.

*BeckyA* good luck today with your ET xxxx

how is everyone? did you all have lovely weekends?

I had a lovely weekend, it was my grandad's 90th and he had a lovely time. I swear i have never seen him smile or laugh as much. especially for the camera, he has always been a happy funny person but as soon as the camera comes out the serious face comes out haa haa. My DH is like that too and we got a lovely one of them both together having a good laugh. brilliant. 
He got quite tired at the end so was time to go home. He has alzheimers but not majorly but sometimes he gets this flicker of whats going on and why are these people here, why is julie 36 and not 6 this is weird...bless him.

Well today I handed in my notice. It is a weird feeling. I am happy, scared, aprehensive and extremely sad. there are peopple here who i consider family and will be so sad not seeing them daily but we are so close i know we will still see each other regularly.

Dh and I also have decided to delay ivf for a couple of months. We did a lot of soul searching about this and think that it is the right decision for us and ensuring we have the best environment for any potential baby(ies). We are hoping to start july august time and also think this will be better for my body to recover from the MC, gives me time to lose a good amount of weight not just the iminent 5lb but more so I am physically healthier.

I want a baby asap however I want to be in a better place to provide the best we can and in the grand scheme of things 4 or 5 months wait time isn't much and I know it will go quickly I guess as it is a decision we have made rather than the hospital there is an eliment of control there too. The new job's mat pay isn't as good as current job so will be good to have that time to save up the difference.
On friday about 10 mins before i found out about the job my new boss phoned me and said that the work i currently do I should not be doing it as it is out of scope and that they will 'bench me' while looking for alternative work for me to do. This would then put me at high risk of redundancy in the summer (they do a summer kull every year) I definitely can't risk that so this is best.

I guess I am talking about it lots cos I feel bad tx is being delayed but i know deep down it is the right thing to do. I am defo looking forward to your journeys on here and i will still be on here as much as i can although as I shall have actual work to do I wont be sitting pressing refresh every 5 mins haa haa. So I shall make the most of feb for google searching and FF chat haa haa.

right better pretend to do some work lol and I shall be F5-ing (refresh button) shortly

love to all

jules
xxxx


----------



## BeckyA

Ladies, today is most definitely a good day. I have got 3 embies on board!!! A bit of a shock but the embryologist recommended it. Nurse said the transfer was very good and we even saw it on the ultrasound and they gave us a photo of the exact moment!!

Good luck and congratulations on your wedding day *poppy*. Hope you have a super day.

*jules*, it all sounds, and more importantly, you sound much more positive. Glad you had a super weekend. Don't worry we will be stalking you through your next treatment!


----------



## jules418

wowee 3 embies yayyyyyy how exciting could be triplets. make sure you take it easy now. have you the day off or do you have to go back to work?

thanks hun, yes i do feel more positive I think the feeling of control in a uncontrollable situation makes me feel better too haa haa.


----------



## Bexter83

Yay!!! Huge congrats on being PUPO *BeckyA*    Wow 3 on board! That's so exciting  Xxx

Hey *Jules*, sounds like a really good idea/plan. It will definitely give you that time to be able to focus and enjoy your new job, concentrate on that and give a good impression and then get yourself ready for this and gives you that time to follow your diet/exercise plan and really be in a good place. 
Awww your grandad sounds so sweet. Glad you all had a wonderful time  . Hope the carrot cake was good too  .
I'm so happy and excited for you about your new job. It really changes how you feel and effects every part of your life. Getting out of bed for it rather than scraping yourself out of bed for it is a big difference. Gosh good timing too! I really feel for Lottie with the threat of redundancy, it's awful. So really glad you don't have to deal with that too. 
Lol  I couldn't help but think of you being Jen from the IT crowd then.

Yay AF arrived over the weekend, so just waiting for the pill prescription to arrive in the post and then a month til I start on the HRT cycle for ET.
Lol, my friend just sent this to me, made me chuckle, I'm sure we can all relate  .

http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/advice-for-those-on-the-ivf-bandwagon/

Huge congrats Poppy on your Wedding Day xxx

Hope everyone is doing well, lots love xxx

/links


----------



## jules418

Haa haa ha *Bexter* you are funny, yes I am pretty much like Jen from IT crowd but i know what IT stands for apart from that we are identicle haa haa oh and I am blonde lol . I was telling people yesterday and they were laughing saying oh my gosh they will have a shock when you walk in. they will be ex[pecting some IT geek and they will get you pulling jokes and being loud. I laughed but now I am not sure what to take from that haa haa haa.

Yayyy for AF whoop whoopand only 1 month to go woweee this journey is going so fast got pupo's in already too.

I am glad we kept this page open as I feel so close to you all and I am glad you see where I am coming from with regards to waiting, I do feel a bit selfish about it Bob has been great and is totally supportive but I still have that dig at the back of my mind. But it is the whole package isn't it. being happy and content with your life as a whole and the baby and job side of things would complete that. but i still feel a bit guilty.

BeckyA how are you feeling today?

Poppy - how are you now you are officially a Mrs & Mrs? Did you have a lovely day and a good meal with all the fam last night?

Tricia, lottie, kazza, mrsf - hope you are all well and bumps are coming along nicely.

Hopeful - how are you hun? not long til scan.

Zana - how are you huni? been thinking about you a lot over the last few days and wanted to send some hugs your way    remember we are here for you as and when you need us. xxxxx

Kirstie - how are you? have you been doing much ringing around? how are you getting on with the HRT and the 'normal' day to day post panto? 
Looking forward to seeing you and chixy on sat 

Hope you are all having happy tuesdays

Jules
xxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Wow lots going on!!

Bexster yay the AF came. Finally on the journey again 

Poppy congrats to u and DW hope u had a fab day xx

Becky wow! 3 didnt someone say they saw signs for triplets?

Zana i hope u r keeping well honey. Thinking of u xx

Jules ur posts always crack me up loool

AFM... feeling quite negative tbh. I have had some brown and pink spotting (not a lot) and tummy cramps. Just petrified cos no more crinone. We are officially on our own and so scared. The fact everywhere is icy doesnt help. Struggling to stay positive x


----------



## jules418

Hi hopeful, 

sending you some PMA    
if you are unsure just turn up at the clinic and tell them your concerns 9 times out of 10 they will try and get you in for a scan. they may try and send you away but if you stand your ground you never know. 

are you still on your own at work? 

Jxx


----------



## hopeful1985

the clinic fob you off hun but i have a scan booked next monday so hope i last till then! no boss came back yest after 2 weeks off and new guy started although new guy is more of a hinderance tbh x


----------



## jules418

haa haa newbies are but he will pick it up in no time hun. 
are you far from your clinic? monitor it hun and if it gets a bit heavier then get yourself to A&E and see what they say, they have have facilities there. 
I am sure it is just implantation as the placenta is getting involved now but totally understand your apprehension xxx


----------



## poppy05

Evening girls


Thankyou for your messages yesterday, we had a lovely day, the official part was very quick, we literally sat in an office and the registrar put all our details on the computer ready to print onto our marriage certificate, we have to wait for that as we got married in a different area therefore under a different registry office, the meal with our families lastnight was lovely, its nice to all get together, we got some nice cards and champagne! 


So the wife (hehe) and i had a discussion about our tx lastnight, and ive decided that if its possible then i want to try steroids and intralipids, the ivig is just so so expensive, and we would probably be looking at not being able to do fet until next year, it would take us a year if not longer to save the 3 grand, i know its not much money in fertility tx terms, but to us its a fortune, the other factors for me are the fact ive dedicated far too many years to this and getting on for 40k!!!!!
i really really cant wait another year, another year of what if's, and maybe's, i just cant do it, i want to get on with my life if this isn't meant to be, and i cant plan anything, we couldn't afford to go away, buy new things, decorate, nothing if we were to do the ivig, plus i will be another year older, and i really want to have my first baby before im 40!! 
the thought of having to wait another year, really upsets me, and makes me feel quite down, 19 years waiting is enough!
I have sent an email to my consultant asking if the intralipid option is feesable, theres not much point really if its not going to let a pregnancy occur, but ive been looking at my results, and whilst i have no idea what they mean, i have looked at the part where it shows how i responded to the drugs, my cells reduced by 47% with ivig, 36% with steroids and 19% with intralipids, so im thinking theres about a 10% difference in it, will 10% be the difference in it working or not? im inclined to think not!


Im not asking for anyone to tell me what i should do, as its a big decision , but i am asking what you girls would do if you were in my situation? do you think im being stupid or do you think my clinic have only suggested the most expensive tx as it gave the best result, but haven't suggested the others might work?


Im so sorry for the me post, but i am thinking of you all and sending my love xxxx


----------



## jules418

Morning ladies

*Poppy* I am so glad you had a lovely day and your familes sound lovely and thoughtful. 
With regards to your post. I am glad that you and the wife  have had a good discussion about it as communication is key through out all this. 
What would I do.. hmm this is a difficult one. £3K is a huge amount of money which ever way you look at it and that is for some medication not a treatment cycle. I think the sad thing here is that there is no 100% guarentee that any of this will work and that is what makes deciding what to do so difficult. 
Personally if it was me and it was my last go, my initial thought would be to go for it.....however after the initial news had sunk in, discussing it with Bob and my M&D and those stats were in front of me. When it came to the crunch I would go with the steriods. 11% would not be enough for me to go ahead with something that hasn't had extensive research for that amount of money. Either way I do not think you are stupid!!!! You have to go with your gut feeling, in my experience my gut is never wrong and when I don't listen to it I regret it. 
this is a huge decision for you and your wife and not to be taken quickly. Like you say you are not asking what you should do but it is good to see other people perspective on it.

I know you will make the right decision for you but do take the time to think about and discuss it as his journey makes us so desperate sometimes we don't stop to take a breath.

Hope that is of some help...not sure lol

How is everyone else?

happy Wednesday to you all it is fruit and fibre time lol

Jules
xxx


----------



## poppy05

Thankyou jules hunni
I just feel so stressed with it all  ive not gone to work today, ive never taken a 'sickie' but i woke up and just couldn't face going in, im so so so sooooooo sick of all this, it sounds absurd but part of me feels like i dont even care now if it doesnt work, i just want it over    whatever happens, i am just not prepared to wait another year, i cant do it, ive been going over the pro's and con's in my head, and i think, would i regret not waiting if i mc again? i dont know maybe?
would i regret waiting and paying 3 grand, to mc again or get a bfn, yes too bloody right i would!!!
there comes a point where enoughs enough, and im at that point now, i cant not have my snow babies put back, so i have  to do this last try, but the drug side of things has seriously given me head (swear word)!! i dont want to waste a try, but i cant wait either, so i just dont know what to do, my clinic haven't got back to me yet either, and the way im feeling today, i will be ringing them later and wont be very polite!!!!!


sorry to be a miserable cow, it doesnt happen very often, but ive got the hump today!!    i just drove to get a mcdonalds brekkie to cheer myself up, but that all gone now and i still feel pee'd off!!! 


Fingers crossed i come back later with some news    xx


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## jules418

it is totally understandable that you are stressed about it you want to make sure you make the right decision. 
This decision can only be made by you and DW, the Dr's should give you as much information as possible so should also go over the steriods and the Intralipids so you have an understanding of what they are, how they are administered, how much they are, side effects etc etc.
there is not a one solution fixes all path and I think (correct me if I am wrong) so far you have not had any additional treatment apart from the progesterone is that right? 

there are lots of IF and BUT scenarios and these make us go insaine, through out life we go though many many decisions some small some huge and there will always be an element of 'if i had done this that or the other'. You don't know if this tx is going to work. There is a chance that it wont HOWEVER there is also the chance that it will. What is the price of the other treatment? how soon could you go ahead with the other options. 

I don't think you are being miserable either. I think you have a hell of a lot on your mind, you are stressed, concerned about making huge decisions and making the right one for you. It is totally understandable to be feeling in a tizz and not know what to do. Don't worry about work they will still be there tomorrow. 

My advise to you for right now is, Make a big cup of tea (yes tea solves everything fact!!!) Get your coat on, gloves on, scarff on and go stand in the garden looking away from the house with your big mug of tea in both hands. Take a BIG breath and let it out slowly. stay out there til you have finished your tea. you will feel more at one with yourself. 
Nothing will have changed decision wise but you will feel calmer. 
This does work. If you dont have a garden have a wonder down the street (yes with your tea) 


     
Jules
xxxx


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## poppy05

hahaha that made me laugh, ive not done 'poo patrol' for a couple of days, so walking out into my garden for a calming cup of tea, would end up with me stepping in dog crap chucking my tea in a plant, and probably lobbing my shoe across the garden!!!!    dw just rang me and shes managed to get half a day off, so she'll be home about 1 ish, going to have another chat, but i feel ive made my mind up, i just want to speak to my consultant befroe i set anything in stone xx


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## jules418

ahh well there you go poo patrol what a perfect distraction haa haa quick before it all defrosts haa haa


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## poppy05

Im in chat if anyones about?


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## K.Notman

Morning all! Chance to catch up today&#8230;

*Poppy *my love, firstly many Congratulations on the official wedding. I'm glad you had a wonderful day with loved ones. I love our family get-togethers and they help put a lot of things in perspective. I'm very grateful for everything I have and my family have been such a rock for me. As far as your decision about tx I really don't know what I'd do. It's horrible to think that money affects us so much and puts more stress on us at a time when we are all told not to stress! I know what you mean about the 'age thing' hanging over and the fact that you've been through soooooooooooo much over the many many years, I simply can't imagine it so I commend you for getting this far. I know that with good communication with your wife that you will make the right decision for you both. I really am praying for your little frozen embies to be the miracle that you deserve.

*Jules*, as always I'm looking forward to our 'ladies who lunch' on Saturday. The time simply flies and the company and food is always amazing! We really do put the world to rights, lol! I'm so glad you had a great time with your family too- I loved the photos on **, what a lovely family (obv!). As far as having a break form tx it can only be a good thing. Takes the pressure off the weight loss and lets your body 'normalise' as much as possible. Your focus will be all about the new job soon anyway and that will be great for you to have something intellectually challenging and different to get your teeth into. I still love the idea of you cycling into Birmingham! As far as Am Dram, last year there was a summer show but I was too busy to be involved in that. This year they are not doing one as people are involved in a lot of other Am Dram things in different areas (an Agatha Christie if you're interested in coming to see that?). We are still meeting up socially though and we are watching the video of the Panto tomorrow which should be very cringy!

*Bexter*- I don't blame you with the G&T's, my drinking has increased this last month with a number of socials. It's good to be normal again but I know I need to have more control sometimes as I'm not a student anymore and I feel it the next day! Do you think you are going to get more tests done before the next cycle? It's such a lot of money but you have to weigh up if it's worth it if there is something that can be done to increase the chance of success- Could it be put on a 0% credit card and paid off over a year? The fact that you are doing the steroids this time might be all it takes to get it to work. See what the consultant says. I really feel for you with the oil and heating problem. I imagine you all wrapped up in a cocoon with only your eyes being visible!

*Becky*, WOW 3 little ones, what an amazing thought. I hope you keep warm, well and positive and that the 2ww isn't evil to you! Try to think of as many distracting things to do as possible. Good catch-ups with friends are highly recommended! I loved having a photo of the transfer too!

'Hello' to everyone else! I know there are a few lurkers out there. I hope you and bumps are good. *Zana*, I'm still praying for you hun. Big hugs xxx

AFM, I'm still waiting for the lead nurse at Birmingham Women's to contact me back about my donor treatment as I've Ieft lots of messages now and it's unlike them not to follow up. I just need to know what the process of matching involves and how this affects the wait? If I phone them every month asking where I am in the queue is that going to drive me mad and stop me from doing things? I know the loudest wheel gets the most oil etc and the quiet patient ones just get left until last so I'm keen to be as pro-active as I possibly can.

As for the hormones, I'm due on next week so will see how that goes. I've not had a bleed since the tiny bit after passing my embies in November. I've not felt any different on these HRT pills but it's only a small amount of oestrogen anyway. I just need regularity to 'normalise' my body.

With the rest of life, I've got a busy February with birthdays, Valentine's and meeting up with people so hopefully that will be another month to fly by! The planning a summer holiday is still up in the air. DH is now talking about getting a house at auction and spending holiday off-work to do it up! OMG, he is the laziest person I know and even though his DIY is pretty good, I'm not sure about a house that needs gutting. Yeah you save money on the sale but hidden costs can escalate. I'd much rather be on the cruise! BUT I know it's a good time to get a proper place of our own that hopefully will home our little family over the next few years. Lots of research to do and options to consider. Nothing will happen before May anyway and that's far enough away to get some information together to make an informed decision. We can have some mini-breaks though and have been invited to visit friends near Inverness which I've been meaning to do for ages.

Anyway, love and hugs to all.
Kirstie


----------



## K.Notman

Update- Just had phone call from hospital and spoke to the lead nurse.  She is booking my an appointment to go in and see her to discuss the donor tx in more detail.
But GOOD NEWS..... She mentioned that the waiting list is moving quite quickly now and that she had put my name on it when I started the LAST treatment (this could be Sept or earlier?) so I could already be 5 months down the line already! whoop whoop!
I'll know more after my appointment but not sure when that will be yet- likely to be in the next couple of weeks as they are quite quick with these consultation type appointments.  So, I'll let you know how this progresses....


----------



## jules418

oh wow kirstie that is fab news  yayyyyy fingers crossed you get a date to go in soon and discuss then you really can start to plan your year. 

ooo a holiday would be lovely and well deserved but I get where DH is coming from although a dooer upper is super hard work when you have to work too at least you have time to sit down and go through your options and when you have seen the consultant have all the info at hand. Nice to hear it is all in motion though xxxx

How is everyone else today? Was lovely to catch up with some of you last night on chat room can't believe how liong it has been but at same time didn't seem like any time at all haa haa. 


Well I had my contract through today and that is no signed and in the post bag. all seems so real now and I feel a bit sad. Defo the right decision but I am going to miss the peeps terribly. But onwards and upwards new chapter in the book of jules. 

take care ladies
xxxxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Just a quick message to say i woke up in pain this morning and more pink blood :/ the clinic have booked me in at 1.45pm. Will let u know how i get on x


----------



## Bexter83

Hey ladies xxx

*Poppy*, gosh it's so difficult and can totally see why your so stressed out! Personally, if I could get confirmation from the consultants that it is just an 11% chance difference from using steroids & intraplids, I think I would go for it, as like you said, it will be a lot longer time to wait, I think I would go for it. Also the NK cells found in blood can be different to the uterine NK cells. I know its a horrible dilemma to be in but I agree with Jules, you need to go with your gut feeling, forget science and all of that for now, it's got to feel right for you. Sometimes having that feeling of when the time is right, is because it is, not when your putting age milestones or deadlines because it will logically work best then, that's usually when your trying to fit a square peg into a round hole (or something like that). I really feel for you because it's just a big decision but I hope you make it soon so you can just go with it and feel better. 
Also, I don't blame you for getting to that point where you start to just feel like you don't care, you just want to get on with your life. I hope you and the DW make your decision that you both feel is right. 
Also really huge congrats on getting married, really lovely news. Xxx

Yay *Jules* contract, signed, sealed, delivered , really fab chick! New chapter, new great beginnings hun xxx

*Kirstie*, yaaaayyy! Really great news that you have an appointment at the hospital and waiting list is shortening rapidly! Great to know that it pays off to be persistent. I'm so happy for you hun and would be fantastic to start in September too. Ooooh so excited for you hun. Do keep us updated on your progress. 
Good to know that your not feeling any different on these new HRT tablets. I'll be joining you on these in a months time. Am having patches and Buserelin too. Have you had the HRT patches before? 
Hmmmm it's a funny one with the house. You could really have an amazing house if you buy at the right price at auction and if the DH can do lots of the work but do be realistic, if you know that the DH will be strict and pro active, it could really work out well for you but if not, it could end up either costing you a lot to just get it done and pay for builders etc, just because you get to that point and patience and sanity wears v thin. Mark and I are known for being OCD with cleanliness and tidiness and last year we renovated a place which we moved into to do up and lets just say hindsight is a wonderful thing . However, we did lots of bits ourselves, our friend is a builder who helps us with things we cannot do ourselves and although this project was up and down for 6 months months but doing the work ourselves, the transformation with the budget, you'd never had believed it. So as long as you buy sensibly and get stuck in, could be great and you can really make the house your own, instead of the previous owners style. Good luck with it hun xxx
I even fancy wine now , weird! Because of fertility and egg quality am only drinking a few glasses once a week or something. Just trying to be good but I swear it's worse when you give yourself limits, the rebel in you wants it more! The rugby's on tomorrow, so will have a few drinks with Mark then and that's my once a week drink done for this week. 
I've decided to just stick with the plan that was in place this time, hopefully is sucessful but if not, see if there is a pattern and get tests done after. I did look into any tests for poor responders on stimming drugs, as age & AMH doesn't match the amount of eggs retrieved and that there doesn't seem to be many mature eggs. But I've had every test on it and the best protocol to go on for this was the one I was on. All I can do with the egg thing is do my upmost to get quality and hope for the best.

*Hopeful* hun, well done for chasing up the hospital, don't let this slip through your hands, keep on being persistent and be pushy and demand for progesterone. Unfortunately with the nhs and actually even with private, you do have to be on top of it all and remind and chase up. I was always texting and confirming with the nurse just exactly how many ampules and everything I was going to need by my next appointment etc. it's natural, people forget but if you become an annoyance, they tend to want to shut you up , for their own peace. People only have a sense of urgency when it effects them. Really good luck at your scan. Xxx

How you doing *BeckyA*? You feeling ok? I'm still in shock you have 3 on board, aaaah am super excited!! Xxx

AFM, yay started the pill today, so I have 1 month and I'll start my HRT cycle, so ET is looking like mid to late March. 
I'm hoping my boobs will stay , am loving these puppies! I was in th car last night and I forgot what it felt like to have wobbly bits, we were going over bumps and I was like, mark check out my bangers!   .
Can't remember if there was anything else to report?

Xxxxxxx


----------



## Kazza79

Hi all 

Iv been reading all of your post and I'm so pleased how everyone is doing, 

Jules- I'm so pleased you have a new job hun congratulations 😄 x

Poppy- congratulations on your wedding hunny I'm so so pleased for you 👰👰 x

Bexter- your post about bouncing boobies really made me laugh lol proper funny lol xxx

Kirsty- great news with the waiting list moving fast, not long now then hunny xxx

Hopeful- hope you are ok hun, stay possitive   Xx

Hello to everyone else 😘xxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Just a quickie as i am wrecked will have a read and catch up later. I have one jellybean! Too early to see anything properly or guess viability but its there. The pain in OHSS... my right ovary is 5 times the size of my left and have a huge bloated tummy. They just said drink water 3 litres a day and see u monday. Xx


----------



## Bexter83

*Hopeful*, I know it's a bitter sweet and I am truly sorry that 1 didn't make it but I'm so happy for you that you have a lovely jellybean on board which will have your undivided attention, no sharing of nutrients and will grow strong. The bit of bleed etc explains what's happened. All the best with your next scans and don't feel afraid to push for any blood tests or scans if you are ever concerned. Any thing they refuse to do, you could have done at any private clinics, like BUPA, Spire and they'll be able to prescribe you drugs too (progesterone). All the best hun xxx

How you doing *Kazza*?

Hope everyone is keeping well xxxx


----------



## K.Notman

Hopeful, I'm really glad to hear you are safe and well and have a jellybean on board.  It's going to get lots of TLC I know.  Keep drinking that water like mad and I hope there is an improvement on Monday.  I hope you are not in too much discomfort in the meant time. 

Bexter, I did have HRT patches at one point whilst they were experimenting with different dosages to improve my lining thickness.  It's quite funny choosing different places on your butt cheeks & thighs to put them!  In the end, I needed the maximum dose which was 12 tablets a day instead of a patch and 3 tablets.  I'm sure if you've not had problems with your thickness in the past that you'll be fine on the 'normal' dose.

Have a good weekend everyone.
Looking forward to lunch tomorrow Jules


----------



## hopeful1985

Thanks bexster. My doc has done a complete 180 and has now ordered me 70 days worth of progesterone which arrived this morning. Wondering if not being given it the first 3 times of asking made the diff between 2 or 1 jellybeans? Guess we will never know. Back at work begrudgingly. Fingers crossed monday shows an improvement x


----------



## poppy05

Hi lovelies


Hopeful, im pleased to hear you have 1 jellybean on board, as kirstie says, keep drinking that water   


Kirstie, thats a nice bit of news knowing you may already be a few months along the waiting list, have you thought anymore about a holiday? and urgh to house projects!!! our bungalow was derelict, and my father in law rebuilt it for us, it was supposed to take 3 months, we ended up living at my inlaws for 13 months!!!!! it looks lovely, but it was bloody hard work.


Bexter, ooooh how exciting, i have a feeling we will be 2ww'ing together!!!   
your boob comment cracked me up, i always say bangers!!! 


Kazza lovely to see you posting, hope all is well with you   


Jules, your new job is the beginning of a great year for you babe, roll on june!!   


Tricia, lottie hows you girls? you must be at the halfway mark now?   


Big hugs to everyone     




AFM, soooooooo finally my clinic emailed me back, my messages went to the pa's spam box!!!! typical, anyway, she spoke to my consulatant for me, and basically yes i am able to do my fet with steroids and intralipids!!!!
I have to call the nurses with day 1 of my cycle, then email my cons pa, and she will arrange my cons to speak to me when i go for my scan, i just want to know exactly when i need to start all the drugs, im going to be on 6 different things!!


gestone
progynova
cyclogest
asprin
prednisalone
intralipids!!!!!   


My af is due next week!!! OMG girls its happening, im gonna be pupo in 4 weeks!!!! woo hoo come on elsa and olaf come to mumma!!!! 


Omg i text DW earlier, and said 'babies' and a load of emoji snowflakes
the silly cow text me back this 'oh really its not snowing here!!!!!!! hahahahahaha


Its gonna be a good weekend, im soooooo happy


----------



## Kazza79

Evening

Hopeful- I'm so so pleased for you hun 1 jellybean on board it great hun now make sure you look after yourself and drink lots of water 😄x

Bexter- I'm good thanks hun a few problems with the usual crap NHS with consultants not being the correct consultant    But I will never understand the NHS, how's the bangers today lol ? X

Poppy- that's great news hun 4 weeks will go so fast   And this list of meds is long but it's your ticket to being a mummy   X

Hope everyone is good x


----------



## Bexter83

Morning ladies 

Kirstie, oh cool&#128077; thanks for the info on that. Lol, am hoping I won't look like a patchwork quilt by the end of it! I hope I remember where I put them and remember to take them off&#128513;, am back on the pill and 2hours late from time I'm supposed to take it daily, I had to quickly take it. Think I might have to start setting an alarm. Wow 12 tablets sounds like a lot! But I don't really know what's normal? I'll let you know what I have. Eeek 3-4 weeks till I start HRT cycle. Great, have got to have the scratch again, I hated that. 
Big congrats on your black belt! That s seriously cool. Wish I could do it. When I watch anything like Kill Bill, I always wish I could fight like that. When I was 18 I started kick boxing, was really into my fitness but I tell you what, it takes a different mind to do it, no matter your fitness skill. We would practice punches and kicks with the pads etc and I don't think anyone wanted to be paired with me&#128516;, there were kids as young as 10 and every time they go to hit, I'd scream, close by eyes and move the pads. I didn't bother investing in a kickboxing suit .
Have a great time today  xxx

Fab news *Hopeful*, glad they've stocked you up on progesterone. It's one of those things we'll just never know and unable to prove its down to the progesterone. Big hugs hun. Great that the hospital are being helpful. All the best on Monday, let us know how you got on. Take care hun xxx

Omg *Poppy*!! Really not long until your PUPO with Elsa & Olaf!!  . Gosh never easy is it! Your emails end up in the spam mail.... You couldn't make this stuff up! But really glad you got it sorted and on a plan now. Lots of meds to get you through and we'll all be supporting you, I know we all want this for you so much. 
Lol , silly DW, hehe. Mark's the same, sort of thing he comes out with. Do you find you have to put 2 snow flakes in everything too? Think I've gone completely bonkers  But I now have to do that, 2 heart emojis etc, as I feel like they represent my 2 frosties and if I miss 1 out, I freak out. Xxx

*Kazza*, oh jeez, never simple is it!? So what have they been doing? Or not been doing? I saw your ** update, it's amazing to think he or she is moving now....v exciting! Do you think you'll find out the sex? 
Ha ha my bangers are doing great thanks  . Yesterday I bought a pack of 2 bras on sale at Tesco (hehe times are hard these days, now I have that song in my head....let's all go to Tesco's, where Bexter buys her best clothes.....duh duh duh duh hey!). Anyways, so I picked up 2 diff sizes to try and I was the bigger cup size! Yay!!! The last 3-4 years I even said to the doctors that my body was changing, my boobs were decreasing in size and list any fullness and stopped getting that plumped up tenderness before periods, even when my cycles were regular. They would say its down to weight loss, even though I couldn't squeeze into jeans and things I previousky fitted into. I knew it was hormonal and I'm the space of about 6 years I went from a small C to an A cup. I'm literately the only one in the family without big boobs, my brother probably had bigger ones than me at some point. I think the drugs, pill and acupuncture is sorting out my hormones maybe? 
Well I'm hoping my bouncy boobs hang around . Xxx

Hope everyone is well xxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Oh god bex ive just read yr post and burst into tears!!!   god help me on 6 lots of meds!!!   thankyou for yr lovely words though xxx


----------



## BeckyA

Hello lovely ladies, it's 6dp3dt and feeling nothing apart from symptoms related to the progresterone. Only a week to go! It is dragging!!

*hopeful*, so exciting you have a jellybean. Hope you are feeling a bit better and less bloated.

*poppy*, so exciting, your frostie babies will be with you soon. The time will fly, just you see.

Same for you *bexster*, march will be here in a flash and you can start your hrt. Hopefully your bangers won't leave you!!

*kirstie*, great news you may be higher up the waiting list than you thought. Fantastic.

*jules*, when do you start your new job? Hope you had a lovely lunch with kirstie and chixy.

Hello *kazza*, *tricia*, *lottie* and anyone else who is still lurking. Hope you are all well.

Xx


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies 
Hope you all had a nice weekend.

Awww *Poppy* . 6 different drugs and lots of tissues&#128516;. Will be joining you on the diff drugs to, will be on steroids too (oh what fun!! Not!! ). Xxx

6 days to go *Becky*, I hope this time doesn't drag. Have you got much to keep you busy? don't get caught up on the symptoms, remember some ladies who got their BFPs had lots of symptoms and some had none. I didn't have ET this cycle but had over a week of the same symptoms of people who were on their 2ww. 
Hehe the bangers are holding up nicely, lol. Xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Morning ladies , 

Hope you've all had a lovely weekend  

Kirstie - lovely to hear that your wait might not be as long   I know your eager to try again , keep my fingers crossed for you xx

Poppy - don't worry you get yourself into a routine , I was on loads of different drugs aswell but they didn't bother me at all . I loved having the intralipids the nurses that come to your home are all so lovely  we had some good old chats ! Won't be long now Hun xx

Bexter - how are you ?  Your transfer won't be long coming around either  so exciting ! Xx

Becky - wow 6 days left until you know  could be three little bundles growing ! To exciting !! Xx

Jules - how are you ? Hope all is going well xx

Kazza - how's the bump coming along  do you know what your having now ? Xx

Lottie - I know we chat anyway but I couldn't not give you a mention  are those bubbas still moving around like mad  xx

Hopeful - so glad your ultrasound went well  one perfect lil bubba on board ! Congrats xx

Afm : bit scary this week I'm officially off all my meds ! Feel like I've lost my security blanket . But all is well so far we had a scan last week and showed one lil boy and one girl  nearly at the half way mark now crazy how quick time goes . By the end of this year hope we all have our dreams come true , your all such a lovely bunch of ladies  . I've got a few days off work now lots of housework to do though  hubby is not getting the hang of this cleaning up thing lol think he thinks fairies come in during the night and do it ! I wish


----------



## poppy05

Hi beautiful people   


BeckyA, PMA    far to early for symptoms hunni, they are just getting comfy, they will let you know they are there soon enough      your doing really well, we all know how tough the 2ww is, we are all here for you babes   


Tricia. wow no meds must be very weird, you have been on drugs since september!!!    i have no idea what to expect side effects wise this time, im dreading getting bigger with steroids, im a size 18 now!!! i am going to look like a massive beast aren't i!!!!! and i dont quite know what to expect from intralipids? do they hurt? will i be catching all germs and bugs because my immune system is being suppressed? 
Massive congrats on finding out the flavours of your twinnies, one of each how perfect   


Lottie, hope you're ok chick? i know you said you are going to wait and not find out the flavours of your bubba's but have you changed your mind yet? i'd like to think i would wait for the surprise, but not sure i could? infact i know i couldn't if it was twins!!   


Jules, hows you babes? good weekend? hows the diet going?   


Hopeful, how are you feeling darling?   


Kirstie, have you had your appt yet? hope you had a nice weekend   


Hello and hugs to anyone ive missed that still reads   


AFM, can't believe another weekend is over!! we went out sat night for my friends birthday, a new bar opened near us, its was flipping rammed!!! and guess who was sober??!!!! grrrr    i lasted until 11.15, then i had to go home, dw was a little tipsy, she feels bad for me not being able to drink, i told her to make the most of it, its not often (never) i offer to drive!!!   


Spent the day with friends yesterday, which was nice, always good to not have to cook! 


Anyway, im getting very excied about my fet, af is due today, i have cramps, so she's on her way, please can i have a little af dance to hurry her along!?   


Have a good week girls, take care,


----------



## jules418

Hi ladies

*Poppy*  here is a dancing monkey lol that is actually how I dance boom yeah get down on it duh duh 
sounds like a lovely weekend, always a bit of a pain when you are the sober person but fingers crossed it will be a sober year for you missus!!!!

Ooo *tricia * another chapter upon you the no meds stage. It is a good sign though hunny so remember to chill out take it easy and let everyone run around after you hee hee.   fab news on the bambinos - have you seen in america they have baby gender reveal parties and when they cut the cake the sponge is either blue or pink haa haa. One of my froends had a baby last May and for her mini baby shower (just 4 of us at a little fish and chip diner) I had baked a cake and she didn't know what she was having so I did 2 layers one pink, one blue and yellow butter cream icing hee hee. Americans are crazy for parties though aren't they, love it but must be expensive having poarties every day. Maybe we shoudl have an AF one for *poppy * haa haa hmmmm lots of chocolate yayyyyy

*Lottie* how are you hunni - how is the DIY at home coming along? I don't want to find out the genders either but bob said he wants to so i compromised and said if twins we would but now that twinnies are more likely i regret saying it as I really really want the suprise. Well actually I really want the moment where bob says what it is, I think that is so special a moment as they don't get to do much after the initial 'handshake' but practical wise it is good to know I guess haa haa. Maybe we should get it written down take it to cake shop and then do a reveal party - Imagine if they then do 3 layers WHAT!!!!!

*BeckyA * you may have 3 layers hee hee. - how are you feeling today hun?

*Hopeful * how are you do you have scan today? hope it goes well xxxx

*Bexter* I would defo suggest the alarm on your phone to remind you, I am bad enough at best of time let alone in crazy hormone land or 'hor-moan' land haa haa any news on houses?

AFM I had a lovely weekend, met up with the fabulous ladies *Kirstie * and *Chixy*, Chixy said to say hi. We all had a lovely meal and a good old gossip, honestly it is like we have known each other for decades and conversation comes so easily we always run out of time haa haa. 
so after a lovely lunch I went home and got ready to go out with some old work friends one of whome is a dear friend and not seen him in ages so was lovely to catch up properly over some G&T's (and other items) after that (the lightweights went home) I carried on and went to birmingham center to meet Bob. Well I felt super rough yesterday haa haa, my head was banging. I am too old for this now!!!! Good job it is very infrequent!!!! 
However I think I have drank more in 2015 than I did for the whole of 2014 and we are only just in February haa haa 
So poppy in answer to your question the diet is not going well..... hanging head in shame but smirking slightly hee hee.

Hope you are all having a spiffing day (word of the day)

Jules
xxxx


----------



## poppy05

Ooh jules an af party, choc, cakes, choc, cakes, with some choc and cakes!!!!!!   
i have seen the baby shower cakes thing, one of my clients is from south africa, and she said they dont call it a baby shower there, they call it a 'stork party' i love this!!!!


glad you had a nice time with chixy and kirstie, what is chixy up to tx wise? any plans for her?  xx


----------



## jules418

haa haa I think we should start the AF party craze plus it is open to everyone which means multiple parties per month hooray  

aww a stork party that is alovely however my friends would turn up with some margarine haa haa (stork marg) 

Chixy is going to start tx again soon I think she was making a phone call today so fingers crossed it will all start in in 3 weeks ish time for DR. I am hoping she will come back on ff as it is nice to get the support 
xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Jules- party and cake yum ! That's right up my street lol I could live  off choc cake  sounds like you had a lovely weekend catching up with the girls nice to hear Chixy is ok xx

Poppy - don't worry about the meds honest you will put on some weight with the steroids but if you watch what you eat it won't be too bad I didn't notice the weight gain until a few months in . Intralipids are a breeze the only bit that hurts a bit is when they put in the drip but I got used to it , you won't feel anything while it's going in and there's no side effects  it just made me a lil sleepy for a few hours after . I have to be honest the worst is the gestone after a few weeks it does hurt just because you run out of fresh space to inject . I still have numb patches on both legs from the jabs  but it's so worth it just make sure you ice up loads and warm the oil before it makes a huge difference and rub it in well after or you'll get huge lumps ! It's a small sacrifice to get our babies though no pain no gain !

I'm lazing on my sofa today but just for you I'll do a special af dance lol 😉


----------



## poppy05

Ah jules im so pleased she is planning on another go, please tell her she has to come back here so we can help her through it   


Thanks Tricia, good to know its not too bad, yes im dreading the gestone, i only did 4 last time and the lumps and numbness were awful, ive been given some arnica pills by a homeopath, so i will, prob take those, and i think i need to warm the oil for longer, but like you say, i dont care, i'd do 10 in each cheek everyday for a year if it means getting my baby/babies! 


This waiting on af is reminding me of when i was on DR and it went into hiding!!    you must all remember my daily moans about it haha,


----------



## tricia1012

Poppy - well I managed nearly 100 of them in the end and I'm still alive to tell the tale lol , forgot to mention after a few intralipids you will find you will pick up sickness and infections really easy , I did  but once your body adjusts you'll be back to normal in no time you've just got to take it easy throughout xx


----------



## poppy05

Oh thanks for the heads up hun, if any of my clients come in sick im goingto refuse to do their hair!!! that annoys me at he best of times, coughing all over me while im trying to cut their hair, ive got an excuse now to tell them to politely go away!!!


----------



## Lottie1802

Hey ladies !! Sorry ive not been on in a while, glad to see your all doing well

Poppy, jules no we arent finding out the flavour! Its killing me. My money is on 2 girls !! But we want the surprise. 

Hopeful glad you are ok , you rest up and take of yourself and bean  

Poppy not long now and I can shout at you for poas  

AFM I got sent to hospital with a bleed the other day, everything was fine and I knew it would be , but my boss hasnt asked me if everything was ok!!! How rude !
And yesterday we were all offered voluntary redundancy,  but I cant accept it because I need the maternity pay so just waiting it out now YAWN prob know more in march 
DIY is going at a v slow pace lol but getting there.
Oh and im starting to feel bubbies move eekk , can't wait for you to all experience this , not long now ladies pma!


----------



## K.Notman

Good morning all! Nice to see a few posts to catch up on and not just tumble weeds passing by!

*Lottie* it's so exciting to hear that you can feel your little miracles now. I'm so glad the bleed was nothing to worry about but it must be awful to have the uncertainty. And yes 'how rude' of your boss not to be concerned! I hope your DIY is more on the 'exciting' scale rather than the 'stress' scale. Getting your little nest in order for your family! I hope this time flies for you and all your preparations go smoothly.

*Poppy*, I don't blame you not wanting to be around sick people- you should do what they do in the East and wear surgical masks like when the bird-flue was about; then they'd get the hint! I hope that Chixy comes back to join us too for support and guidance with people who know what it's like. I love the phrase 'stork party'- reminds me of Dumbo! It sounds like you had a lovely weekend. I love spending time with friends and having a right giggle. I don't have to drink to have a good time but it does help when you are with a group who are all getting merry together. I hope AF comes and goes without any issues. Great to hear you feel excited as this is a positive feeling and you know I'm all about the positivity!

*Tricia*, How are you today? All tickety boo I hope enjoying your chill-out time after ding all the housework. Thanks for your well wishes. Yes I'm ready for this but I've got to be patient, it's still a way off yet but the best things come to those who wait! It must be so exciting to know you are having one of each so you can get things ready. I hope that being off the meds is a good thing and you are not anxious. Are you still taking any supplements? I'm sure you are already by just try and eat healthy and keep the water flowing. Take care hun.

*Jules*, I love the idea of the cake reveal but these baby showers are all part of the American commercialism that we are getting swallowed up by like Valentines and Halloween etc. I just like any excuse for a party and get together! Our 'FF' sessions are the highlight of my social calendar, lol! The Victoria really does yummy food, I'm happy to work through the entire menu. I just need to plan in some exercise around it as it is all a bit naughty but nice. I love how our conversation goes completely off on tangents and that we can talk about the most 'sensitive' things normally (although sometimes waiting between courses as 'discharge' is not a good subject whilst you are eating! Lol). OMG I'm so with you on the drinking more in 2015 than 2014! Glad you had a great night out though.

*Becky*, I hope these days fly by for you now. I found the second week worse as you are counting down to OTD. I'm keeping everything crossed for you that you little one(s) are snuggling in there.

*Bexter*, 12 tablets was a lot, most people have 3 I think. You just have to go with what they hospital recommend and play it by ear with each scan if they increase or decrease dosage. I'm sure you'll be fine. At least you've had the scratch before so know how it feels. Each little hurdle is a step closer. As for my Black Belt- I got my 1st Dan back in October 2010. The certificate I shared on ** was for my 2nd Dan Grading I did in July. I pushed myself to get it done before starting treatment and I was at the peak of my fitness (it's all gone downhill over Christmas mind you!). I love watching fight scenes in films too (well, the good ones anyway!). My skills are a long way off some of those but my self- defence is very good that I could get out of trouble which is the important thing. My club is very traditional and I love learning about the history and Japanese science side of it- using acupuncture points to aim at for maximum effect (brutal!) and the jujitsu wrist locks which are so simple and effective more than the hard hitting fighting. The main thing is that it gets me doing exercise twice a week as without that I'd be doing nothing lately. This cold weather has zapped my running mojo. My DH & I are going to start using our local sports club to do badminton this week as a way of doing things together that isn't just snuggling on the sofa!

*Kazza*, Good to see your post and that you are keeping track of us. Sending you hugs.
Hopeful, Are you still doing ok on the progesterone? I'm glad they sent you more so you can relax a bit about that now.

AFM, Still waiting for my nurse's consultation appointment to come through but that might be on the door step from today's post. I'm going to write a list of questions so that I come away feeling in control- as much as I can be anyway. It will help psychologically as the unknown is very unsettling and I do like my lists! I had a good weekend meeting up with Chixy & Jules as you've heard. I then stopped at my cousin's for the night and we had a girlie pamper night with face-packs and massage and CHOCOLATE! I must admit, that's the only thing I've really noticed on this HRT compared to the microgynon pill- I never used to have any of the usual 'Time of the month' symptoms but as this is my first month on the HRT and due AF next week, I've had such a sweet tooth, craving chocolate and I have had mood swings biting DH head off and being glum. I don't know what to expect when AF does come but I've stocked up on towels!

I had a chat with DH last night saying how I think it's unrealistic to get a house at auction and do it up as he is self-confessed as a lazy person. I said he'd have all the best intensions and then motivation will disappear after a month and we'd be left living in a building site! I know you could save money but that's when you're really committed, hard-working and know what you are doing! Anyway, nothing is going to happen until the summer and I'm just looking on 'Right move' to see what's available at what price at the moment. I'm much more keen to have a nice holiday but I think it's going to be a last minute purchase when we know what finances are like. We have to go during his factory shut-down (he works at Land Rover) which is always school holiday so it's more expensive. He does have some floating days which we could tag on to try for cheaper but we shall see. The cruises we were looking at were all out of our budget because of the timings. It would just be nice to have something to look forward too. Oh well, we have our trailor-tent!

Have a good week everyone.
Kirstie


----------



## Bexter83

Hello lovely ladies,

*Tricia*, I'm ok thank you. I have said to Jules, this pill (yasmin) is horrible, it's making me feel a little bit negative and fearful of it, like its never going to happen for me but I know it's this pill talking. It was like that before and as soon as I was off it I was fine again. Lol, I said it reminded me of being like golem . It will all be fine though and going to book in the scratch for the end of the month and then be on the HRT cycle (for approx 2 weeks, then ET). We move the week after. Yay! I get out of all the lifting! Whoop whoop , I feel a bit bad though, so boxing up bits early whilst I can. 
I can imagine you must feel a bit scared but they have monitored you so much and extended the gestone over the usual time limit, so I'm sure they are going by what is right for you. I love your attitude and strength, it's very admirable and hopefully whenever I get my BFP   , I will be needing a few slaps and words from you to get a grip! Especially as I'm requesting for an extra progesterone test to see if I need those gestone jabs. 
So happy for you hun, a lovely boy and girl for you, it's wonderful. I pray so much that I will have twins one day, I want this so bad.

*Poppy*, damn right about having a good excuse not to do sickly people's hair! It really annoys me when people carry on doing things which they probably should put off and spread thei lurgies! My mum and step dad were going to stay over ours just before I started stimming and didn't want to tell them I was starting cycle and they were saying how they have been unwell. I was like, when did you get sick? Was it food poisoning? When were you feeling better? I thought, f!#? That!! I'm not going to start this fighting a nasty cold or flu, I need healthy eggs. Didn't help that that Eve I had the scratch and, urgh it was horrible and thought, I don't need to keep doing this again (even though I am, lol). Anyways the coast was clear and no lurgies caught but like you was going onto steroids and just don't need to catch everything. 
Don't worry Poppy, it might just be water retention it brings, hopefully when we both come off it, the extra steroid weight falls off quickly. 
I have found it harder for us girls, as from the start we are pumped with drugs and then an extention of progesterone and some women steroids and I think that first trimester, most of us will unlikely be those skinny, no water retention, cute little bump ladies, as we are pumped with hormones. Hopefully after the first bit and can be off the meds, things will normalise but then we are so happy to get to where we've been dreaming of, we probably wouldn't care.
I'm hoping Tricia is right, she usually is, eating well, hopefully won't be too effected by the steroids.
So 4 weeks until your PUPO!!! , I should be joining you not long after.

Hey *Jules*, big hello, glad to hear that Chixy will be joining us, so we can all support her too. Ummm the house front isn't going too well. We've found a rental to go to whilst we look but not found anything yet. The search will be a lot easier once I'm in the area, as it will allow me to look at a lot of properties on my own and then show Mark any potentials, as at the moment it's just Saturday's we can view and we seem to just live on the motorway at the moment. 
Hehe, love your cake idea! That would be such a cool idea to find out the sex, if you cut into a cake.

Hey *Lottie*, good your holding out, like you say for the maternity pay. I hope it all works out for you. I'm really glad that everything was fine at the hospital too. Not long til your next scan too.
Thanks hun, like your PMA bashing, needed that today .

*BeckyA*, 5 days til OTD!!! How you feeling hun?

Xxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Hey ladies


Just a quick one to say i have moved us over to the long term chat buddies, as really we are no longer cycle buddies, but please just continue posting here as usual, and anyone doing tx, still post here, we are just in a different area now thats all


----------



## Lottie1802

Poppy! I thought I felt the earth move! You could of let us pack a bag to take with us to the new area rofl 

Sorry just feeling mischievous today


----------



## poppy05

Lottie if you look in the corner theres a big box of all you lots crap i dragged over here!!!!


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## K.Notman

I'm still posting here!  Need this to keep my feet on the ground and my head clear through all of this!

I don't know if it's the HRT but my emotions have been up and down like a yo-yo this week!

Have a good day everyone xxx


----------



## jules418

hi ladies

Ooo new home, the initial commute was interesting haa haa ok it wasn't as I book marked us lol. 

How are we all? I don't want to do any work today, I have switched off and i just want to chat and drink tea haa haa. 

I was going through the old threads yesterday (told you I was bored) and it was lovely reading all the old comments and seeing how supportive we all were but also how much we opened up over the weeks to how we are now with each other. I feel like you are my besties as I share so much with you all. 

So LOVE YAAAAAAAAAAAA      

Ladies, If any of you are free on Sat 14th March, Bexter, Kristie, chixy and myself are meeting up in northampton city center. Day trip via train spot of lunch and good gossip and laughter. Location in northampton yet to be determined but would be lovely to put faces to names. If you can't make it or it is too far to travel don't fear as we can organise another one and work out logistics at a later time 

Hope you are all well and I am already feeling settled in our new home 

Jules
xxxx


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## tricia1012

New home  

Jules - I would love to but it's my birthday so hubby is bringing me somewhere special to celebrate that weekend . Def want to meet up with you ladies at another date though , it would be so nice as you said to put a face to a name  

Hope everyone is well I'm feeling so tired today so I've taken the avo off work figured there's no point pushing myself going to listen to my body an it wants a granny nap lol so so be it


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## jules418

aww Tricia so what you are saying is that meeting us wont be special haa haa haa. defo have to get another date in the diaries before the baby explosions start (yes that is my terminology for giving birth lol) 

nice to be whisked away though and yes you listen to those urges and have a nap, do not want you getting poorly again!!! 

just think this will be your last birthday as a twosome  yayyyyy

Jxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Hey ladies. Sorry i am in and out my brain is continually fuzzy at the min. Had scan on monday and my ovary is still massive.. jellybean is there but still too early to see anything. They found fluid retention behind both ovaries and in abdomen... ohss is being a *****. I am now signed off for 2 weeks :/ back for another scan on fri to see if jellybean has advanced any :/ very nervous x


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## poppy05

hopeful, sending my love to you hunni, im sorry you are going through this, praying jellybean gets stronger     


I cant make the lunch date either, it is a bit to far for me, plus i work saturdays, we arent allowed to book sats off unless its part of our holiday weeks, but i am up for meeting you all at some stage


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## Kazza79

Hello all

Jules- glad you are settled into your new home hun xx

Tricia- hi hun I'm doing ok thanks hun, no we don't know what we are having yet, we have our 21 week scan booked in a couple of weeks time so will find out then   Can't wait to find out, how are you feeling? X

Kirsty- I'm always around always reading what everyone is up to but don't always post hun x

Hopeful- I'm glad your jellybean is doing well hun stay possitive I'm sure all will be ok x

Hope everyone else is ok   xxxx


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## jules418

hi ladies

hope you are all well and getting ready for a loved up weekend. 

Bob and were going to go out tonight for cocktails yayy  but now he has to work late  so am feeling grump now haa haa I may have to go the gym arghhhhhhh. 

6 more working days left here now hoorayyyyyyy I can't wait to leave now I am sooooooo bored I am literally falling asleep at my desk. zzzzzz

Love to you all

Jules
xxxx


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## poppy05

Happy valentines weekend lovelies   


Hope you all get spoilt and have a lovely day/eve tomorrow


Anyone got something nice planned?
We are having date night, dw is cooking, and i treated us to some treats from lush, i bought their foot range so we are doing pedicures, facials and head massages tomorrow!
We have a bottle of pink champagne and im going to have a glass, blow it, i can have a little drink, not started tx yet.


Have a good one all   


Oh ps, damn af still not arrived!!!!!!


----------



## Chixy

Hello lovely ladies,

I have tried to read all your posts and great to hear your news. it is so lovely to know that you still think of me, as I think of all of you so much.

It is great to see that Walnut Whippers is still going strong and that success is happening for some of you. How exciting for Tricia to find out you are having a boy and a girl. I hope that I can follow in your foot steps - how perfect. 

It is lovely to hear, Poppy, that you are starting treatment again and that soon you will have your FET on board.   Here's hoping that it is meant to be this time.  

I am so lucky to be able to meet up with Jules and Kirstie and look forward to our 'ladies that do lunch' get togethers. It is great when we meet, it is as if we have been friends for ever. I hope that more of us can meet in person soon.

AFM: well I will be going down the cycle path again and   things will work for us this time. I am starting to get extremely nervous and cannot believe we are here again. One thing is for sure this IVF business has started to cure me of my needle phobia!! I am hoping that with my new job the stress levels will be less during this cycle plus where I know work is much closer to the clinic so an added bonus. Also my DH and I are getting very excited because we are packing our bags ready for our adventures to New York - yepee!!! 

Well I hope you are happy for me to return to the lovely walnut Whippers, I have missed you all    Xxx


----------



## Chixy

AF dance a specially for Poppy 🙅🙋🙆🙅💁🙆🙅💁


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## poppy05

Chixy welcome back my gorgeous girlie   
So lovely to have you back with us, and im really happy to hear you are going again with tx, wishing you all the luck in the world, and i pray this is your time    and thanks for the af dance, i really need it, im getting annoyed now!!


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## jules418

Welcome back chixy hooray 
Have an amazing time away hope kirstie gave you get photo list ha ha looking forward to hearing about it on your return. 
When do you start your jabs?

Ooo poppy your weekend sounds lovely and relaxing. I love a good pamper session xxx
Come on af.....remember white pants white trousers no towels lol 

Well we were supposed to be jolly about now from drinking lovely cocktails however bob didn't get home til very late so I am moody lol I have a glass of chianti but wanted a cosmo booo. So now he has to take me out tomorrow yayyyy

Have a good one guys 

Jxxxxx


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## poppy05

AF arrived !!!!!!!!! woo hoo
thanks for the dances they worked!


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## tricia1012

Morning ladies , 

Chixy - lovely to have you back   I'll keep everything crossed that it works for you this time   We've all missed you on here xx

Poppy - yay! So happy af has come so you can get started , now enjoy this lovely weekend you've got planned ❤❤ Xx

Kazza - I'm ok thanks Hun , can't wait to hear what your having I've got a feeling it's a boy ! I'm getting big now think I might go into hibernation for the rest of the pregnancy lol I'm so tired ! Xx

Jules - enjoy those cocktails tonight  xx

Hopeful - I had the same as you my right ovary was huge for ages I was in agony so I feel your pain   All you can do is rest as much as possible until it goes down , and keep up drinking water  xx

Bexter - how are you ? Xx

Becky - how's the 2ww going you must not have long now until test day ? Best of luck xx

Hi to everyone else hope your all going to be spoilt rotten this weekend  

Afm : I'm an emotional mess lol yesterday I went from wanting to kill someone on the train home from work to crying my eyes out cooking dinner last night lol wtf !! Hubby thought when I came off all the drugs I would go back to normal!  he has no idea lol . Me and dh are going to have a nice chilled eve at home I'm to tired to go out , can't wait ! 

Love and babydust to all xx


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## K.Notman

Morning all!  HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

We have got friends coming to stop this evening so I'm hosting one of my famous curry nights.  I was preparing marinade last night so chicken has been getting flavoursome over night.  I have all the spices and my pestle and mortar at the ready for an afternoon of cooking.  This morning will be a mission of housework though as it's been a bit neglected.  Luckily DH is very helpful there when he has the right incentive (yummy food and pleasing his wife on V Day!).

Welcome back Chixy!  I will be sending you your 'holiday photo to-do' list via Whats App soon!  Safe travels.
Poppy, yay for AF (although naff timing with V Day!).

Will catch up properly next week.  Have a good weekend all xxxxxx


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## poppy05

just a quickie whilst the mrs cooks my dinner!!   


My scan is on wed!! 
Im bring elsa and olaf home very soon!!!


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## Kazza79

Happy Valentines Day all you georgous ladys  

Tricia- I can't wait either hun iv booked my appointment as they didn't request the scan AGAIN!!!!! So far they have screwed up u every area of my care    I'm proper getting fed up now   I really think I'm going to aim for a home birth again as have no faith in the hospital at all xxx

Poppy- glad AF arrived and I'm sure you wouldn't normally be so happy about it arriving on Valentine's day lol enjoy your pamper night hun xxx

Kirsty- enjoy your curry night hun xxx

Jules- where you off to with hubby tonight?  Hope it's a great night xxx

Chixy- hi hun it's great to see you back on here hun xxx

Hopeful- how are you hun? How dud your scan go on Friday? Xxx

AFM my Valentine has been very dusty lol my other half has cut a new fire door into our garage and the dust it everywhere lol Im normally in there with him getting well involved but I can't lol so iv been making tea all day lol 
Hope everyone has a fab evening xxxx


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## Lottie1802

Yayyyy Chixy is back and poppy got her AF thats made my valentines 

Hopeful I hope you are ok hun ? Jellybean sounds strong so you just rest up you hear ! 

I am up for meeting on the 14th ladies, its not far from me 

AFM I got the usual from hubby...nothing,  oh and its my birthday Wednesday and he's got me nothing for that either, so im being forced shopping today to choose something. .he really is useless when it comes to all this , and he has the cheek to blame me for not having a hobby or something I like lol


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## hopeful1985

Aw so glad chixy is back... yay!!!

Yay Poppy amazing news how funny that we are all sooo excited ur AF came wooohooooo!

How u getting on BeckyA, Bexster, Jules, Lottie, Tricia? Hope u r all well and i remembered everyone in my haze!

AFM i had my scan on friday and saw a.beautiful lil heartbeat   was amazing and really cheered me up as i feel rotten. Ohss is still hitting me witb a vengence. To make matters worse severe sickness has hit. Was sick about 20 times yest in 5 diff sittings including 8am and12.30pm last night. Wrecked but heartbeat keeping me going although was actually worried yest i would puke bubba out!!


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## Chixy

Bless you all for welcoming me back so warmly.

Lottie - be lovely to meet you on the 14th. Shame your hubby isn't a bit more imaginative but here's hoping you find something you like for your birthday 

Kazza- hope the dust has now settled and you have a good working Fire door to your garage!! 

Poppy- not long now, good news with scan being booked.

Kirstie - hope you had a great evening with DH and friends enjoying your famous curry. 

Jules - cocktails sound good - saw pictures on ** and even looked good. Hope you a hubby had a great evening and made up for Bob being stuck at work on Friday night!! 

Tricia - hormones hey they have a lot to answer for. Hoping you are feeling less emotional today xx

Hopeful1985 - wonderful news about the heartbeat - woohoo. Rubbish however that you feel so poorly   take care hun xx

AFM: well DH and I are gutted and feel like the most unluckiest people in the world with one thing and another. Can you believe our flight to New York has been cancelled due to terrible winds and storms in NY. We are so gutted we both feel lost, frustrated and extremely fed up. We got up at 3am ready to head to Heathrow - just before we walked out the front door we checked emails to see that our flight has been cancelled grrrrr. We have had to wait till 8am to phone the company we booked it with. They are phoning us back once they have managed to contact the airline who are not open till 9am. Lots if waiting around to find out if we are still going or not. Cannot express how disappointed we are. Kirstie - the selfies may have to be postponed   Xxx


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies, hope your having a lovely weekend.
Omg I'm so behind!!

 YAY *Poppy*!! AF arrived and you are well and truly on your way. I mean it was inevitable right, AF arriving on Valentine's day, she seems to come on all special occasions and holidays/weekend aways . That's fab news though and does that mean it's likely to be 2 weeks and Elsa & Olaf will be with their mummy? So exciting!!!

*Hopeful*, I'm sorry your not feeling well and things are complicated. I hope your beanie is doing ok, I'm sure he if she is, it's just testing and preparing you now for all the craziness once born. When's your next appointment/scan? Rest up, take it easy, lots of water hun.

*BeckyA*, how's the mothership keeping? How are your trio? Hope all is going well and praying for all the success for you.

*Kirstie*, how are you doing? How's the new HRT tablets? Are you still feeling emotional? Hopefully will be back to normal once AF arrives. Your curry night sounds fab! How did it go?

Hey *Chixy* , glad your keeping well and Yep I'm with you on this too, entering the next step too....eeek! I think we could be on the 2ww together, do we can be bonkers  together and have lots of PMA bashings from our buddies here too . I hope you find the jabs easier this time, I did, was a completely different experience this time. Otherwise you can always rely on Emla cream too. Wishing you all the success hun xxx and am looking forward to meeting you too . Oh and NY sounds fab!! When are you going?

Hey *Jules*, how's it hanging?    Your elderflower margarita looked shaaamazing&#128540;. Hope you had a fun night.

Hey *Tricia*, I'm ok thanks hun . I'm looking forward to soon starting the HRT cycle to get the frosties back in and see what it brings but it also brings a bit of fear but you've got to be in it to win it, as they say and hopefully it will be a success but if not my time again, then I'm still a step closer to my goal. 
Oh bless you! Aww cute though, men don't really get it do they? So naive to the hormone thing, hehe. Did you find the steroid tablets messed with your sleeping? Your obviously needing the rest and sleep and maybe your body's catching up from the sleep disturbance I heard it can cause. Not long now really and your babies will be with you and hormone levels all back to normal.

How you doing *Kazza*? Dusty Valentine, that's an interesting one, hehe but suppose it's not bad the the DH is doing the bits/jobs needed in the house/garage, I suppose thats a good valentines gift though. When's your next scan? Are you going to find out the sex?

Hey *Lottie*, yay! So glad your coming to ladies at lunch on the 14th , we will be train buddies, we can start the party early&#128540;. Ha ha bless him (the DH), I suppose he just wants to get you something he knows you would like. How are you going to celebrate your birthday? It will be your last birthday with just the 2 of you.

How you doing *Zana*? Hope your well hun 

AFM, got the scratch booked for the 26th (eeek) and then AF should arrive few days or so after that and then will start on buserelin & HRT stuff and my snow babies will be transferred  . The pill is annoying me, I keep feeling so bloated. I know it's nothing really but I hate that feeling. And then will be a big balloon on the Buserelin again....oh the fun but praying  it will all be for a v good reason, then I will not care at all! My body has always been very reactive to hormones and worked out that I've only had about 5 weeks of not being on some kind of drug which bloats me out in the last 11 months. 
So had a lovely anniversary on Thursday but celebrated with alcohol on wed night and i was hammered  but was lovely too. Wasn't really planning on doing anything for valentines but we went to view a property (unsure about it??) and then went to friends and then few drinks again (oooops) and had a Chinese takeaway with the 4 of us,,was really fun. But the DH will away on business from the afternoon today til tues eve , boo&#128078;. 
I second that Jules, we have a lovely group here, loves ya girlies


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## Bexter83

Wonderful news on your bubbas heartbeat *hopeful*, so happy that he or she is strong and healthy. You poor thing with the OHSS and all the sickness. I think camomile, Ginger are good stomach settlers but I hope it all eases up and the worst is over.

Oh no *Chixy*!!! I can't believe it!! So sorry to hear about yiur flight/trip. I can imagine the disappointment. I hope you can get something else arranged. Oh that's really pants&#128078;&#128078;. Big hugs . Xxx


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## BeckyA

Think it is game over for me ladies, again.   

Had negatives both last weds at 9dp3dt and also yesterday at 12dp3dt, and started spotting yesterday with af cramps. Got beta blood tomorrow but not expecting anything from that. Not sure what our next steps will be. The clinic were a bit cagey about whether our first ivf counts or not (as there was no transfer) If is does, then that is it for the free treatment, we'll have to go private. 

Sorry to be a downer and apologies for no personals, but you ladies are the only ones who will understand how i feel and know what to say to make me feel better.


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## Bexter83

Oh hun, Becky, I'm so sorry. Am sending you massive hugs   . I hope you can get the next one for free too and that they don't include the first one. 
I probably sound like a broken record and believe me, I know the sadness it brings but as hard as it is to imagine right now but you are closer to your goal, you can get these hormones out of your body, dust yourself off and get back on the horse with even more knowledge of how changes can been made to get you there. 
I wish things were different for you but your a v strong lady and you'll be ok and strong enough to go again soon. Take care hun xxxx


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## tricia1012

Bexter - I'm glad you had a lovely anniversary  keep your chin up Hun this cycle will be a good one for you    , I'm feeling much better today think I was just overtired the steroids didn't really stop me sleeping as I learnt to always take them after breakfast if you take them at night you've got no chance of sleep 🙈 lol xx

Becky - in so sorry Hun that it hasn't worked this time still wait until tomorrow though so you know for sure I really hope it can turn to a positive . I know the heartache another failed cycle causes but you will find the strength to move on and learn from your experiences so you can give your future cycles the very best shot . There aren't any words to make things better but just know it will happen ! It may not be this time but you will get your dream it's just a tough journey to get there . Were all here for you   Xx


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## poppy05

Evening girls   


BeckyA, oh sweetheart its so unfair, i pray with all my heart your result changes tomorrow    i do understand how you feel, its so horrible, please know that we are all here for you, and although we can't make it any better, we can offer support and an ear for when you need a rant,cry,laugh, or just a general chat 
sending you the biggest hug darling, and im so sorry you are going through this again   


chixy, oh goodness me how disappointing, i would be totally gutted,   what have they said? are you still able to go? 


hopeful, so happy to hear you saw a heartbeat, what fantastic news, i do feel sorry for you though being sick 20 times sounds hideous    i know we all say we'd love it, but i certainly wouldnt love being sick that many times in a day, look after yourself sweetie   


Bexter, glad you had a nice anniversary babe, i'd love to get hammered,    i was going to open the pink champagne lastnight, but now my scan is booked, i felt i should be good, i dont know why, cos i know a couple of glasses wont hurt, but i just feel guilty and feel i should steer clear   


Lottie, ive seen on ** what dh bought you, very nice hun, love the bag and boots   


kazza, dusty valentines made me giggle, mine was dusty too but in a different way!!!   


jules, ooh your cocktail looked yummy, did you get smashed?   


tricia, hope you are well babes and your hormones have settled down a bit   
can i ask you something? i had a very brief chat with the nurse yesterday regarding my drugs, she asked if i was doing my intralipids at the clinic or at home, now no one has gone through this with me yet, will see cons on wed, is there a big price difference do you know? i would rather have them at home i think, i dont mind the on at et is at clinic but the ones after i would prefer at home, but assumed having a nurse come home would cost a fortune? and who did you arrange this through? 


kirstie, if your curry nights are famous then you must make a mighty fine curry, i love indian food, hope you had a lovely evening   


Big hugs to everyone   


AFM, well our valentines dinner was very nice, the wife does cook a decent bit of steak!! then it all went tits up!!! we both fell asleep!!!    my af is still soooooo heavy its zapping all my energy, however we had a sunday morn pamper sesh instead, i was woken up with breakfast in bed, then we did eachother a lovely pedicure, and to top the day off nicely we went to the inlaws for roast beef!! 


Im really looking forward to wed and getting things started, im feeling positive, and hoping the new drug protocol is what will bring us our family,    it feels weird that im going to be having et in 2/3 weeks time and ive not had to do anything else!! i like the fact my body wont be stressed out from all those hormones, ec etc, i like to think the more calmer environment will be better for my babies, absolutely dreading the 2ww, or 9 day wait, or whatever wait it is!!!!! please please please do NOT let me test early, remind me how crap i felt last time when i got a bfn! 
dw keeps talking about triplets!!!    she's convinced we will have 3!!!! 
i must admit i do think after everything ive been through to get a baby i think it might be twins! i dont care, i'll take anything as long as im a mummy.


Have a good week everyone, love and babydust


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies,

*Becky*, thinking of you, more hugs  Xxx

Awww thanks *Tricia*, that made me smile and give a nice confidence boost. . Thanks for the heads up on the steroids too, I'll make sure I'll take breakfast time. I took them later in the day for 2 days, whilst wasn't confirmed if ET was happening this cycle or not and I had terrible nights sleep but then they the day before EC and then waiting for the scary embryologist call the next morning, so was prob from nerves but really good advice, thank you. Glad your getting your rest though, it's an exhausting job growing a baby and 2 of them!

Lol *Poppy*  Dusty valentines! Your valentines weekend sounded lovely, very nice . Glad your feeling ready and positive for Elsa & Olaf. Know what you mean, I've not done a FET either, hopefully we won't be as crazy  on the 2ww without the stimming drugs. Not going to let you test early . I was on a cycles buddies thread and every single person tests everyday, they all encourage it and all test for the trigger to come out. I can understand getting the few doing that but everyone!?! It's bonkers, I don't remember our bunch doing that. I just think it would make the 2ww so much harder and emotional than it already is and 14 POAS!?! These cycles have cost enough as it is, instead of adding to it.
Ha ha yeah I was smashed  but Yep I have felt guilty everytime ive drank, thinking about egg quality etc.

Xxx


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## tricia1012

Poppy - hi Hun   I was fast asleep on the sofa sat night to lol ! Def do the intralipids at home if you can it's so much more relaxing you can lie on your sofa and watch telly while your chatting to the nurse I even nodded off a few times lol . You send your prescription from your clinic to healthcare at home ( has to be the original copy via post ) so always make sure you get a few in advance  I had a few panics trying to get hold of repeat prescriptions . Then once they receive it they will call you and arrange a delivery for the meds , then the day before your intralipids a nurse will call you to let you know what time she will be round . It costs £270 with them I never did it at my clinic so I can't compare prices ! All I know is the nurses are so nice you get to meet a few of the same ones and they never forget you I get the odd call checking how I'm getting on  oh and it takes about 2hours in total might be a bit longer the first time as they run the drip a bit slower just to get your body used to it ! 

I need a bit of a rant today ! So I'm going to a managers meeting and one of the other managers has shingles !! I got an email last night saying she was going and I had to aswell  I've got no immune system which they know so I'm freaking out a bit now ! I mean shouldn't she be signed off sick !!  My luck with illness hasn't been the best . So annoyed !


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## Chixy

Beckie I am praying for you and hope that your bundle of joy is infact getting comfy. 

I apologise for lack of personals as on iPod. But wanted to give you all a quick update. Now at airport waiting for our 10:30am flight. Fingers crossed New York here we come!! Take care all

Chixy xxx


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## jules418

*BeckyA * I am so sorry to read your message and echo what the other girls have said that we are all here for you through thick and thin. 
Sending you big cuddles     hoping that the result is different today though.

*Chixy* glad you managed to get a flight sorted finally shame you have missed a day in new york however it is better to be safe than sorry and you wouldn't want to be blown all over the place for 6 hours and then spent all day feeling sick  However I hope that your insurance company sort you out xxx

*Lottie *- very nice gifts indeed!!!!! hope you had a lovely day and are resting up.

*Tricia* that is disgusting!!!! I would be so angry and the fact that they seem ok with potentially putting you at harm is just shocking !!!!

*Hopeful* glad to hear you got to hear a little heartbeat how magical. How are you feeling hunni.

*Kazza *- how are you and your precious load? Hope you had a lovely weekend and you are taking it easy. xx

*Kirstie* how was your curry night? sounds lovely looking forward to my invite haa haa.

*Poppy* your V day weekend sounds lovely. Sleep, pamper and food who could ask for anything more !!!!!

*Zana* hope you are ok babe we are here for you as and when you need us. Thinking of you xxx

AFM - I had a lovely and busy weekend consisting of DIY, Room reorg, Food, Drink, bowling and laughter  The cocktails were lovely apart from one, one was a bit nasty. the blueberry and elderflower margarita is amazing!!!!! I took pic of the recipe so want to try it at home haa haa. If I nail it I shall have to get some fluffy heeled slippers and a chiffon and feather gown and walk around the house supping it with mascara down my face haa haa haa I paint a lovely picture 

lots of love and happy monday to you all

Jules
xxxx


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## poppy05

Tricia you shouldn't go hun, i would flatly refuse to go, that is a disgrace and if i was the person with shingles i would be saying no too!!!


thanks for you advice, at home does sound nicer, but it all comes down to cost again, my clinic said intralipids were about £100, if there is nearly a £200 price diff then im gonna have to get them done at the clinic, anyway i'll have a chat on wed.


just recieved an email from my cons, she is on annual leave this week, so ive got to see a nurse about my drugs, im not too bothered as long as she knows exactly what im having.


Happy monday all
Be back later xxx


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## BeckyA

Definite bfn ladies, bloods don't lie.   
Slight good news is that they have confirmed they won't count the first ivf, so we have another free go, which is a relief. Just got to have 3 months rest first, they will call us end of April. I reckon ivf #4 in either May or June.

So, in the nicest possible way, I really hope I am the last whipper to get her bfp!


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## jules418

Hi BeckyA - so sorry to hear this     , good news on getting another free go although that probably doesn't help much with how you feel right now but definitely a rainbow moment. 
Will they do any tests to see why it was unsuccessful this time around is there anything they can change going forward? Sending you big hugs hunni     xxxxxxxxxx hopefully you wont be the last as I am going again on july's cycle lol xxxx


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## tricia1012

Becky - I'm so sorry Hun massive hugs   I know it doesn't help now but I'm glad you will at least get another try for free , you will get your bfp and well all be here supporting you xx

Chixy - yay ! I know it's a day late but hold you still get to go  have an amazing time xx

Poppy - wow that's a huge difference in price , my clinic didn't provide intralipids so I didn't have much choice , def do it at the clinic then you can rest once your home  xx

Jules - nice to hear you had a good weekend and enjoyed those cocktails  and thanks yes my work are so unreasonable ! It's shocking my hubby was not impressed xx


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## poppy05

Ahh huge hugs Becky   im so sorry this wasn't your time, im very pleased to hear you still have another free go, it makes the bfn ever so slightly more bareable   now get your list of questions together for your follow up appt, be strong, we're all here rooting for you babe, sending much love and big cuddles


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## Lottie1802

Massive hugs Becky   I cant wait to see you get that bfp you deserve it so much x x


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## K.Notman

Real quick one from me before bed but just wanted to give Becky a massive hug xxxxxx so sorry for you sweetheart. Take as much time as you need to get to neutral before another go. And don't worry- I'm sure I'll be the last pregnant whipper as I have no idea if I'll get a donor this year!


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## Bexter83

Big hugs again Becky , hope your ok hun. We'll be here for you for next time (may/June is just around the corner) and here for you in between that time, whenever u need to rant or whatever, or for some special Jules bum shakes    To cheer you up. Xxx


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## BeckyA

Love you ladies. Xxxx 

Sorry *jules* and *kirstie*, in the state I was I forget everyone's timescales!


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## jules418

BeckyA - don't be daft it was more of a don't worry you wont be last,  hugs post. also a small comfort blanket of we will still be here when you go again xxxx

how are you today hunni? sending you massive cuddles followed by a large Rioja !!!!      

How is everyone else today? The sun is shining and I have 4 working days left at this hell hole haa haa awww I don't mean that (ahem) I am going to miss the people sooooooo much however i know that my true friends here will still be in my life so I shall not lose them. 

Tricia - what happened yesterday with that meeting? 

Love to you all 

Jules
xxxx


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## jules418

Morning ladies

How are we all today - the sun is out and it is a lovely day. It better be like this next week as I am off before starting my new career adventure.

Well I am hanging my head in shame today. I had weigh in last night and I am now the heaviest I have been since May 2013!!!!! I am disgusted with myself. So I have been spending all morning lookup dishes from the 4 main meat groups (chicken, beef, lamb, pork) and writing a list for items I would make and what would be good for lunches etc. In a bid to get organised and back to the shape I was in in August.

anyway this exercise has been great I feel motivated, I don't feel changed I guess that will come with time (she says whilst eating a chocolate digestive)

*BeckyA* how are you today hunni? when will you have your follow up with the clinic?

Hope you are all having wonderfully spiffing days

Julesxxx


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## Lottie1802

you can do it jules!! and as for me I am ok, its my brithday today and none of my friends remembered   but I'll get over it, off out for a curry with the hubby tonight! bless him , he was so pleased that he had pickedup a wife card instead of girlfriend that he failed to notice it was an anniversary card and not a birthday card lol

I hope all you other ladies are well! I am sat here bored out of my skull at work, I think I am going for voluntary redundancy because I can't cope with this silence at work anymore! I could be at home doing productive things like watching Jeremy Kyle


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## jules418

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOTTIE !!!!!!!
           
We hsall have a belated brithday brew on the 14th March xxxxx

Haa haa awww your poor DH bless him he was so chuffed then oh wrong celebration hee hee. 

Love a good curry I do and I shall raise a glass to you later on too. 

xxxxxxxx

P.S. the pumpkin one made me laugh so had to use it haa haa


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## BeckyA

Happy birthday *lottie*!! Have a super day and enjoy your curry, i say enviously, they are one of things I miss about England! 
Sorry to hear things aren't so great on the work front.

*jules*, too right about the rioja, I told DH last night that I am going to have a  big glass of wine on friday night!!

Here, we don't get a WTF meeting after a failed cycle. When they rang with blood results on Monday, they said they were happy with the cycle as it was 66% fertilisation, so I guess they won't change any of the protocol.

Good luck with your weight loss. I too need to shift a couple of extra kilos and I have told DH that we are going to get fit and healthy in these 3 months rest, starting from after next weekend!


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## poppy05

Happy birthday Lottie   enjoy your curry

jules, im the biggest ive ever been too, oh well bit late now to worry   hope you found some yummy recipes, you'll have to share xx

So im on my way home from tge clinic, had my scan and im all good to go, so im doing a natural fet, start steroids on mon, and another scan on mon, should know by end of next week when et is going to be!!   ive been told to do gestone every other day? Tricia what did you do? and 2 cyclogest a day, they said i dont need progynova, and if i do it'll be later on, if my follicle and lining do as they should then im hoping et will be around 5th march
its so quick, it feels weird not doing any dr or stimms, but yay my bubbies will be with me soon!!


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## Bexter83

Happy Birthday *Lottie*   Hehe had to use the happy anniversary one there . Love your new bag & boots btw. Hope your having a wonderful day. Silly DH . It reminds me of when I needed to get a wedding card for a couple a few years ago and they were getting married abroad and lots of us were just going to the reception/party they had in UK afterwards and really found it hard to pick one for some reason as we were seeing them after and stuff. Got home, showed mark and he said why have I got one which says congrats on your civil partnership , I was just trying to find one that had a beachy wedding look on there.....yeah I returned it, haha.

*Jules*, big hugs on the weigh in last night xxx know you can do it though, you did it before and you can def do it again . Hehe love the pumpkin btw.

Don't blame you *Becky*, I reckon one of those glasses which carries a whole bottle of wine sounds pretty good. I don't know if it's worth trying but I know over here is around £150 for a consultation but what about a one off with one just to get a second opinion or explain history, show results and just to see what their thoughts are, asking them what protocol and changes they would do? They may suggest getting any certain tests or maybe asking your current one if can just go on steroids for next one (is v cheap), incase there is any implantation issues?

How did you get on with the consultant today *Poppy*?

Was everything ok at work *Tricia*? So selfish of people and very naughty of your work.

*Kirstie* had AF arrived? How were the new HRT tablets?

Glad you still got to go to NY *Chixy*, enjoy hun

Xxxxx


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## tricia1012

Evening ladies  

Lotttie - happy birthday !! 🎉🎂 enjoy your curry !! Xx

Poppy - I know we've already text Hun but didn't want to miss you out  not long at all until your bubbas are back with there mummy xx

Becky - how are you doing Hun   Xx

Jules - don't stress about the weigh in you'll lose it in no time xx

Bexter and Kirste - hello to you both  hope your having a good eve xx

So I did have to go to that meeting , but I tried to stay away from her ! Didn't tell hubby he would have gone mad ! My work tend to make there own rules so frustrating , I'm on my feet 9 hours a day but I'm dramatic if I complain ? Lol sorry bit of a rant from me tonight I'll blame  the hormones  

Hope your all ok 
Love and baby dust to all xxx


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## Lottie1802

Thanks for all the birthday love ladies!!! I had a lovely evening, but im knocked off my feet with a cold today, I feel like someone has been sat on my chest all night   oh well I soldier on


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## K.Notman

Wow it's been non-stop at work and I've had no time to get online. So I'll do my best to catch up.

*Lottie*- I hope you got my Birthday wishes on ** yesterday. I did something very similar getting DH the wrong Birthday card once! I'm glad you had a good meal and I know what you mean about a cold. My throat is raging and I'm armed with max strength Strepsils today. I'm on the Sudafed nasal spray too but only need that 3 times a day. I hope you battle through it. Get an early night and keep your fluids up. Stay warm and toasty too. I've been enjoying home-made veggie soup and it's very comforting. I'm sorry work is being difficult and perhaps the voluntary redundancy is the right thing so you can take control of your life. Being pregnant though does make it all so much harder so I hope you don't stress about it. Find out what all of your options are and make informed decisions.

*Tricia*, thanks for asking after me. Other than the cold, I'm fine really (see below). I'm sorry your work are being really harsh on you. You have to do what's best for you though so see if you can make compromises where you can. Have you told them yet? They have to have a risk assessment in place for pregnant women (I'm in charge of all that at my work) and have obligations that they legally have to follow. You must ready this&#8230; https://www.gov.uk/working-when-pregnant-your-rights. Being on your feet for 9 hrs is not allowed (see the Health & Safety bit)

*Poppy*, I'm so glad your scan went well and you 'are good to go'! It's good that you are so comfortable and positive about it and I can only see this being good for you. I'm glad you are going to be having regular scans to keep checking up on things and you have a good handle on your meds this time. You are now preparing your little nest ready for your snowbabies! How is everything else? I love the idea of you wearing a surgical face mask at work to protect you from ill customers!

*Becky*, How are you feeling today? This bit is so hard and I remember waves of emotion, being strong and positive one minute and then a crying mess the next. Take as much time as you need. Enjoy your food and drink and have some laughs with DH then some slob out sofa time and then only when you are ready, start thinking of next time. It's annoying not to get a review but I suppose if they were happy then it is just a case of 'try again'. There is no rush and you have to give your body a break and your mind time to heal. Huge hugs to you both xxx

*Jules*, It's lovely to hear you so happy- although he blue skies aren't out today and my bike saddle is getting moist in this drizzle! Sorry to hear about your weight-gain. Mine has been creeping up and I've gone back onto my Weight-Watchers forum this morning to join in the online challenges to regain my focus. I'm giving up biscuits and chocolate for Lent. I gave up cheese a couple of years ago and it was the hardest thing I've ever done! With the winter, my exercise routine diminished but Ralph & I are starting to go to badminton together on Friday afternoons (as he does NO activity at all!). I went out for a light jog on Monday but now with this cold I'm fancying snuggling up on the sofa more! So it's down to healthy eating and portion control for me. Planning your meals will really help you feel motivated. I highly recommend the Hairy Dieters cook books and I used them to do some of my curries last weekend. I'm glad you are feeling positive about the job move too. A really good challenge to get your teeth into. Did you find out what maternity pay they might be able to offer you? Ralph came out with something that knocked me for six yesterday- Land Rover offer him a year off on full-pay for paternity leave (my Dad can't offer me anything other than Statatory- unless I can make him a very good proposal to make it in his best interests!) so he said why doesn't he look after the baby for the first year? OMG!!! I just said, let's discuss it nearer the time! Nooooooooooooooooooooooo I know financially it would be the best thing for us but with the fact that (If we are luckily enough to have a baby&#8230 the baby will have been a donor egg baby, I want to bond with it as much as possible- not just pop it out and then go back to work! Anyway, it's a long long way away and we have severl opportunities to win the lottery before then! Lol!

*Bexter*- how are you today? I can't believe your comment on the cycle buddies who POAS every day! That is insane (and expensive!) My curry night went very well thanks. I made so much so have portioned up lots of meals for the freezer to enjoy at times when I'm on the hop. Thing is, I now have a crate of Cobra beer in the house (DH doesn't drink) and I keep fancying a bottle on a week night when I wouldn't normally drink! I'm being really restrained and telling myself that drinking on my own is wrong and I should wait until the weekend! Oh well, everything in moderation right!

Hello everyone else who is following and lurking, give us a wave whenever you pop by

AFM, well I've done a full month and a bit on the new 1mg HRT. My bleed came later than it used to on the Microgynon pill and has lasted longer (had to wear liners a lot longer than before) but it's been very light. No cramping, which I never got anyway but the cravings for sweet foods and the mood swings caught me off guard. I think I've settled again going into month 2 but will see how it goes now I'm a bit more prepared for it. In some ways, I'd like a heavier period as it shows that the increased dose is making me have a good lining. I know this is something they'll scan for again when tx starts but I just would like the next 12 months to be regular and healthy with good lining (equivalent to you 'normal' ladies out there). I could go up to a 2mg dose I think but don't know what the consequences of this might be. I might give it 6 months and then get an appointment with my useless GP again for my check up!

Anyway, everything else is fine. It's DH birthday on the 26th Feb and I'm planning a surprise weekend for him. I like having things to look forward to, to keep ticking off each week of the wait! The summer holiday has completely gone on hold until we sort out buying a house and we'll look more seriously at that in May. In the meantime, it's about enjoying weekends away and catching up with friends and family- really looking forward to our FF outing in Northampton. Good times!
Lots of love

Kirstie


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies,

*Poppy*, can't believe it! Elsa & Olaf snow babies will be with their mumma so soon&#128515;, it really has gone quite quickly. Poppy I was thinking, if you are concerned with the every other day gestone, will they be able to a progestetone test for you when you get your BFP, just to double check you've got the right levels of progesterone so you can either stick with that program or up it to everyday. 
I've requested that because I've had constant low 21 day progesterone tests, ranging from 1-4 and it needs to be 30+ to show ovulation occurred. The consultant said it is different, that's showing no ovulation occurred but it's been playing on my mind, that they are going to test me when I do finally get a BFP   .
So how are you and the DW feeling? Are you excited? We're not going to let you test early btw, we will beat you with those sticks otherwise . I have such a good feeling about you!!

*Lottie*, glad you had a lovely birthday meal.......hmmmm love curry!! Oh no, I hope you feel much better very soon . Love your pictures on **, your bump is beautiful!! Omg it makes me so excited, can't wait to join you girls!!!

*Jules*, hope you had a lovely time with your family yesterday xxx

*Tricia*, stay rested and don't take too much crap from your work. Look after number 1, or should I say 3. I know your not a winger or the type of person who wants attention and you want to show you can still keep up as before but really do remember to take little sneaky breaks, or say no to certain things. All pregnancies are wonderful, precious miracles but your journey is extra special than the average and make sure you listen to your body and be kind to yourself.

I've been a bit concerned lately as ET is looking like mid March and we move out of this place into our friends flat. (We put offer in in the end on the house we viewed at the weekend but wasn't accepted). Our friends don't know about our IVF etc. They are getting it ready, doing the work needed in time for us to move 20/03. I'm getting as much bits wrapped and packed before transfer and Mark knows I won't be able to lift stuff. We are such clean and tidy freaks and I know I just have to tell myself what's important and to not start getting the bleach out and running around with a Hoover on the stairs etc but this house needs a clean, all windows inside & out cleaned, oven cleaned etc (thanks for the top jules, will oven pride the oven before ET and avoid using it after) but all these things need to be done to get our deposit back. Then our friends place will need a thorough clean before (kitchen cupboards inside and out), oven. The bathroom needs loads of bleach. It's just bad timing, kinda wish ET would be the week after but it's unlikely. Ok, I'm sure there's ways around this but I just feel so bad for mark, he works so much and I've always done all these things, always helped with moving and just feel like a jammy diva watching other people do it, with me pointing where things need to go (it's not like me at all) and the thought of paying for a cleaner when I've always been able to do these things myself just feels wrong. Grrrr! Suppose I'm just going to have to.
Anyways, after all that babble , I hope I'm not going to eat my own words (what will be will be) but mark and I have a good feeling about this cycle. Mark feels good about it and the fact that I don't feel it won't work, like I knew deep down last time it wouldn't, is a good sign.    Come on snow babies  .

Hope everyone has a good day xxxx


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## Bexter83

Hey Kirstie, sorry to hear your under the weather. I wish someone had told me about this stuff sooner but when I last had a cold I was recommended Sterimar nasal spray and just paracetamol (felt like someone just cleared my nose and head, bliss!) and for throat, I used to suffer with non stop tonsillitis until removed 2yrs ago and difflam sore throat rinse or spray actually numbs the back of the throat. Echinacea reduces length of a cold by 1.5 days too. Hope you get better soon hun xxxxx
Awesome! Leftover curries, love it and hmmm can't beat a cobra beer with a curry too, that flat beer just seems to be a perfect combo. 
Yeah maybe while your waiting for next cycle, stick to the lower dosage, as should have less side effects by being on a lower dosage abd then maybe closer to the time, increase it to get that lining nice and thick.
Yay am really looking forward to 14th too.  xxxx


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## jules418

Morning ladies

Kirstie - yay glad you were able to steal some time away I love reading your posts full of positivity and kindness  I knew JLR did 12 months for the ladies I wasn't aware they did for the guys too that is fab, you would still get your stat mat though wouldn't you so have that bonding time. Would you have the ability to work from home for half the week maybe? I have been trying to get a job at JLR for years but now they outsource the IT side of things the mat leave isn't part of it booooo. Why do everyone outsource arghhhh (ok cos it is cheaper lol) 
I will get stat mat at new job so 6 wks 90% then gov stat mat for remainder of the time. Not great as the mat pay here was fab howvere the job and career prospects are not and you have to weigh up everything don't you. Especially if my next cycle doesn't work that is another year wasted at work. However as we are now going to wait til summer for next cycle it means we have extra few months to save save save. I am really going to bring us down to the breadline too. will still have 'pocket money' as still need a life but I guess we will be asking ourselves questions like do I reallly need those shoes (yes I do haa haa) does he really need those rugby boots (no haa haa haa) This will also help with the losing weight side of things as will not be spending money on take outs. And then when we do they will really feel like treats rather than can't be bothered to cook lets order in whic it seems to be at the moment. 

Lottie - boo for feeling poorly hun and lots of fluids and food, got to feed a cold after all. Hope it didn't spoil your special night too much though xxxx 

Tricia - Defo stand up for yourself at work hun. makes me mad when stupid ignorant people say things like god she is pregnant not ill. Errr **** off you know nothing!!!! It has been a long journey to get you where you are and you are carrying 2 around so tell them you can not and will not stand for 9 hours apart from the fact it is illegal it is immorral!!!! 

Poppy - not long to go now hunni how exciting when will you go in? 

Kazza - how are you and bump doing? 

BeckyA - How are you hunny? sending more hugs your way    shame you don't get a follow up though have all your tx's been the same so far dosage etc? Do you know what your egg quality is like or your embryo grade. Sorry I feel I just hurled lots of questions at you there. Tell me to butt out  

Bexter - Dont stress mr mannering  What work are your friends doing at the flat? Is there anything you could 'help' with whilst they get it ready. If so maybe you could start the cleaning process earlier like the cooker and cupboards and bathroom, then when you do move it will just need a cloth round and Mark could do that. Defo no hoovering, lifting after ET. No middle stretching at all however you can do other things like make the tea for the lifters, and then unpack things and hang pictures make sarnies etc. you could always say you have pulled your back/shoulder/arm and on strong painkillers from the dr's. This covers the not lifting and any moving in celebratory bubbles....
Glad you have a good feeling about your frosties too  

Well it is miserable day out there so stay happy ladies 

Jules
xxxx


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## K.Notman

Hey Jules, I'm glad you are on the F5 today! lol Not long to go now!
The condition of Ralph's Paternity being 1yr is only if the woman goes back to work full time.  I asked him if we could both do part time and he said they don't offer the same pay.  Like I said, I'll see what's relevant nearer the time and ask for him WRITTEN information on it rather than what he thinks!
I know what you mean about cutting back the pennies.  We did a spreadsheet for our budgets but I never seem to have the money in my account that the spreadsheet says I should as I've spent it on 'extras'!  Ralph wants me to put more towards the bills but I've just spent a load on his Birthday!

Bexter, thanks for the health tips, will see how I feel at the weekend then take a trip to chemist.  So far I'm hugging my lemon and ginger tea!


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## jules418

hee hee refresh refresh refresh  

ok knockback (but nice one) One of the girls here is Belgian. she is super lovely and has just been back home for a 'shrove' festival. Basically big party that lasts for a couple of days before lent starts. 

she has bought me some posh belgian choccies ooooo. However they are dark choc different % or darkness so I can't eat many in one go but has also bought some team chocs in with prailain truffles arghhhhh..... must resist....must resist. Shame I can't F5 myself haa haa. 

Ahhh bummer I recon when you get all the info from JLR and can then discuss ideas with your dad on a way forward. Bonus working for family is that you can be properly open and honest about what is going on and come together with a plan of action. It will all work out in the wash as they say The gov do a mat/pat share thing where you both are entitled to 6 months but again not sure how that would work with the JLR pat pay.  Plus the last 6mths is more fun as the babies are more alert and can start to do stuff so it is like a double whammy of missing out however there is no doubt you will have bonded with that little munchkin(s) I know it will be a DE but that little eggy will be part of you growing inside of you and moving and nurturing from all your nutrients and love. I know it is not from your initial DNA but what is that really? I still think that as you will be supplying nutrients and bloods and a warm and protective home for 9 months that you will have bonded with that baby as much as the next mum and us IVFers I think more so than the norm as it has taken such a long time to get there i recon we will savour everything much more. 

at least that is how my hallmark mind works haa haa. I recon if i were a film I would be in the lego movie cos EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!!!!

Jxxx


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## K.Notman

lol, Yup- I can see you in the Lego movie!  You can keep changing your hair and outfits! AWESOME!
I love your hallmark idea of my nurturing womb and Mummy love.  Lets just pray I get the chance next time!
Working for Dad has so many perks but the company being skint may be the deciding factor for the pay.  Oh well, at least getting to all my appointments is easy.
Have a good day.  I'm now regretting not bringing my waterproof trousers to work- the forecast said 'showers' but it's been non-stop!


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## Bexter83

Lol  *jules* you are so the Lego character!! And thank you so much for putting that song in my head too 
So exciting your starting a new chapter in your life! Hmmmm chocolates&#128515; I wish you could send one through the computer, that would be amazing&#128540;. 
And you def could do extra side work for Hallmark too, ha ha. Your right though, cutting back on the take outs & night outs it goes hand in hand with saving money. Always hard in the summer, every weekend is a BBQ and bringing loads of drinks and stuff, I find I hibernate in the winter but good on the money saving. Have you got a tastecard? I've had one for years and when you get it on offer it's less than £30 for an annual subscription but loads of local restaurants and chain restaurants like Pizza Express, Zizzis etc. are 1/2 price food exc drinks everyday except fri nights & Saturdays. 
Thanks for your advice, feel lots better now and I do make good cups of tea and sarnies&#128540;.
So our friends fiat, they are having new windows put in, want to decorate (paint), then new carpet in some rooms (all in that order). They want to change the doors and clear the garage and other bits but I've said those bits can be done when we're in. Your right, I'm going to ask when the carpets gone down and if still waiting for ET at that point, I'm just going to ask if I can get bits ready and do those bits. If not in time, then just going to have to get Mark on the case.

Lol, *Kirstie*, you do make me laugh , I love that you've said you want written information, you crack me up. 
Boo&#128078; you don't have your waterproof trousers with you but do take care on your bike in it xxx


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## tricia1012

Thanks for the info about work Kirstie I'm going to look I to that 😉

What a day I had yesterday everyone's worst nightmare I get a call at work saying hubby has been in a car accident and I need to get to the hosp ! I work in Central London and an hour away by train so I was freaking out to say the least !! Thank god he was ok in the end itl take him a while to recover but it could have been worse , I could kill the women who did it silly cow ! Thanks to Lottie for keeping me sane yesterday   Xx

I will pop back on later and do some personals  hopefully today is not as eventful


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## jules418

Oh my Gosh Tricia !!!!!!! sending big loves to your DH and a speedy recovery, is he badly hurt. 
Are you ok? I bet you were sh**ing yourself. I am so glad it is not too serious but doesn't sound nice at all. Is he still in hospital or was he able to go home with you? 

How is everyone else today? 

Lottie - any news on the VR? 

Kirstie - did you get home ok - yesterday the weather was awful. Bob came home soaking wet and took his shoes off in the hall (angry face) they were sopping wet (he comes in the lean-to and leaves bike there shoudl have took shoes off too) anyway he then walks about and I am like errr you socks are also dripping and you are leaving foot prints everywhere. He does well the dogs feet are wet and they leave foot prints and I replied that their feet are smaller so easier to mop up lol. bless him I made him a hot coffee though to warm him up. 

I went to My sisters last night for a Slimming world dinner. She won the raffle and got some ingerdients to make a dinner. Glamorgan sausages. Well to be fair I had never heard of these but these are a vege sausage made from butter beans I think or canneloni beans the beige coloured ones. 
They didn't quite make it to sausage shape but were like a patty, they were very nice though she did them with a potato dauphinouir (sp) but a SW version so fat free. It was super yummy . 

so today is my last friday and I am have a cooked breakfast lol it is a healthy one though so all fat removed etc but looking forward to it. 

Hope everyone is ok and big loves to Mr Tricia.    

Jules
xxxx


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## K.Notman

Oh no Tricia!  I hope he is ok and echo Jules' sentiments.  I hope he is home safe and sound and can have the weekend to recover.
Jules, I managed to time cycling home in a break in the rain but the bag I put on my saddle didn't work and it was saturated so I had a soggy bottom when I got home!  Oh well, quick change and cup of tea and I was right as rain (pardon the pun and I have no idea where that saying comes from?).  Enjoy your yummy breaky treat.  I'm really trying to be good now.  I want to lose a stone to get back to my summer weight so I'm doing one of my weight-loss charts to put on the fridge as I find that a real motivator.
I've been wandering about some of the other threads and on some of the BWH ones they've been taking about getting BMI down below to start IVF. It reminded me that at our review meeting the consultant looked at DH and said that he should use this time to lose weight.  SO I'm roping him in to the weight chart and weekly weigh-ins too.  I know we have plenty of time but he has a lot to lose so should really be doing something about it.  It will be so much easier doing it together.

Have a good day all and a fab weekend xxx


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies,

How are we all? Hope your all having a lovely weekend 

*Tricia*, are you ok and your hubby recovering well? 

How you doung *Becky*? His was your Rjoca last night?

Hey *Kirstie* & *Jules*, am loving the determination on the diet & exercise plan, sounds fab! Good luck with it all.
I'm on it too. I was researching it and I know it's obvious abd happens to most of us IVFers and those going through fertility treatments that we experience weight gain but it has been interesting as to the reasons why etc. mainly due to the huge increase production of both estrogen (Lupron drug)& progesterone than the usual woman, due to the drugs to provide this. (This makes sense as to why ive felt bloated instantly from this pill too, as its an estrogen & progesterone pill). Also I read that the incisions in our follicles made from EC slows down the metabolic rate. So it is official that it is that much more harder for us to lose the weight we gain from IVF. It seems like you work so hard to get back into those jeans after the cycle and then your going into the next round (ding ding ding ). 
I've had a few bad influences around me and a lack of self control/discipline lately but am determined to keep it down as much as poss. I'm tryimg and really going to go for it and luckily mark is on board too but following deliciously Ella blog 
http://deliciouslyella.com
and recipes as know this would work for me and can follow during cycles and pregnancy as they are very healthy and encorporates protein into every meal.

Xxxx


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## Chixy

Hi Ladies,

I started panicking because I couldn't find this thread!!! relieved to finally have found you all. You all look like you have been busy while I have been away.

Tricia - i am so sorry to hear your scary news and hope that your DH is now home safe and making a speedy recovery. Regarding your work place - how horrible to be treated like you have been. I hope this all improves and make sure you look after yourself and your very special cargo.

Jules - hope your last day at your work place went well and you had a good send off. I look forward to hearing also about your recipes to help lose weight - might pinch some off you. Maybe we should organise taking turns to cook tea for each other (Kirstie, Jules and I??) Always tastes better when someone else cooks for you!!

Kirstie - sounds like you are working hard on getting back on the exercise regime and you say such lovely inspirational things. Lovely lady 

Bexter - fingers crossed everything will pan out just fine and you shouldn't worry about your friends place - I'm sure it will all work out, try not to add extra stress on yourself.

Poppy - getting ever closer. hope you are well and keeping positive for your FET

Becky- hope you are ok and you enjoyed the lovely Rijoca

Lottie - hope you are feeling better and you managed to enjoy your birthday in the end. 

AFM - DH and i had a good time in New York however it was very eventful with many different things going wrong for us!!! We are so lucky -NOT!!! Back to work tomorrow - aaaah. Tuesday I have got the dreaded scratch  - week and start DR on Friday. I cannot believe we start treatment again - i must be mad!!!! (we all must be mad!!) 

love to all

Chixy xx


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## K.Notman

Good afternoon everyone.
*Chixy*, you need to bookmark the page otherwise you could get lost! Mind you, I've enjoyed readying posts in completely different places recently and it always makes me smile to know we are not alone and that there are a lot of success stories out there. I bet you need a break now to recover from New York! I can't wait to see the photos and I'm looking forward to 14th March too. We could make plans to do a FF 'come dine with me' around each other's houses! Good luck with the scratch tomorrow. I hope it's not too uncomfortable and it's another step in the right direction for your tx.

*Bexter*, very interesting research you did about weight gain! I do feel that it's my will-power though as when I have none I eat anything and everything without thinking of the consequence on the scales. But this weekend I've flicked the switch and got my MOJO back. I'm watching what I'm eating and not having silly snacks just because they are in the house. I'm forcing myself to get back into exercise which is really hard when I keep coming up with excuses as to why I can't do it. But then I feel really smug afterwards and even though my thighs are killing me today after yesterday's squats, I feel so good for doing it and will do more after work today! (No pain no gain right?!) Good luck following the Ella Plan. You have to find something that works for you and having structure really helps you feel in control and keep up that PMA.

*Jules*, have a great last day today! I love all the balloons your colleagues gave you- they will miss you too. What have you got planned in your between job break? Lots of healthy food cooking and exercise? Lol!!! Have a good week and I hope Weigh-In in a good one this week.

*Tricia*, How is DH holding up after the accident? Did you look into the Employer/pregnancy H&S advice? I hope you can use it to make life easier for you at work. Take it easy hun and look after yourself.

I hope everyone else is ok. Please check out my personals on Page 84 as I'm thinking of you all.

AFM, My cold is clearing up (don't want to speak too soon though), just a bit of a cough now. Nothing new to report from me really. I'm just getting on with life one day at a time but feeling quite happy about it. I think it's because I'm taking control of my weight and fitness again. It makes such a difference to actually be in control of something for a change! We heard good news yesterday that friends of ours have been successfully approved for Fostering! They live on the West coast of Wales and he is an Outdoor Educational Leader who specialises in water sports. They are going to do Fostering for respite holidays etc so taking children for time out breaks. I'm so pleased for them and know the children will love their little village and will have great memories with them.

Anyway, on that positive note, have a good one all.
Kirstie xxx


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## jules418

Hello Ladies

Hope we are all well today. 

Tricia how is Mr T? hope he is starting to feel brighter and you and the bumps are ok. 

Kirstie - You are so lovely with your postings, glad you are starting to feel brighter too. the cough is the worst part as takes longest to clear. Lots of hot whisky lemon  Also looking forward to the 14th March. 

Bexter - how are you hun? did you clean your oven haa haa, I went to Lidl today and they have oven cleaner on offer so I got some and thought of you haa haa. 

Poppy - how are you ? Hope you are ok you have gone a bit quiet xxxx 

Lottie - any news on the VR? 

Zana - still thinking of you hunni and we are all here as and when you feel ready to join us xxx

Chixy - What else happened in NY? glad you got home safely and enjoyed it when you got there. 

Well that is me done. wow 8.5 years and it is over. I had a lovely last day though and everyone was so sweet and really made an effort which was just lovely and heart warming. I knew I got on with everyone but even the ones I didn't speak too much were so lovely. I was presented with some beautiful flowers and some lovely gifts; chocs and wine,  they know me so well haa haa. We had a lovely team lunch too and I was going to leave after that but didn't feel I could so I went back and hung about for a bit then I was walked to my car (nicely, not bustled out by security haa haa) they helped me take all my stuff to the car. 

so that is it one chapter closed and a big chapter at that, onwards and upwards now and on my journey home Queens came on the radio singing I want to break free and I thought ooo how appropriate. 

hope all is lovely and hallmarky with you all

Love

Jules
xxxx


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## K.Notman

Your posts are brilliant as well Jules and you are very thoughtful and considerate too.  We are all one big loving family now!


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## hopeful1985

I have been for a scan and the baby has died. Its smaller then it should be and the heart has stopped beating. I gotta wait now for it to miscarry naturally. Gotta go back thurs to check progress as i may need to go in and have it removed. There is a worry that as the placenta is so big and thick it may cause too much blood loss so gotta be careful. Heartbroke


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## Bexter83

Just a quick one, I'll pop back on later but I've just seen your update Hopeful and it's devasting, I'm truly sorry this has happened. Sending you the Worlds largest hug  and I hope we can all be of some comfort to you during this hard time. 
Xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## jules418

Oh hopeful I am in shock and am devastated for you and your dh. Like bexter had said we are here for you and if there is anything at all you we can say do we  will 

Sending all my love your way today xxxxxxx


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## poppy05

Hopeful i am completely devestated for you, oh sweetheart this is awful for you  
i wish i had the words to help ease your pain, but sadly i dont   i can offer a huge hug and support, any time you need to talk we are here darling, sending my love to you and dh, im so sorry


----------



## tricia1012

Hi ladies , 

Sorry I've not been on in a few days it's been hectic at home with the hubby out of work , thank you everyone for your kind well wishes for the hubby , he's still in a lot of pain and had to go back into hosp Friday night  but he will be ok thank god .

Hopeful - I'm truly heartbroken for you , I'm so sorry your having to go through this please know that we are all here for you . Massive hugs   Xx

Jules - congrats on your last day at this job ! Best of luck with your next one I saw your pics of your desk so nice ! You obv made some great friends there xx

Kirstie - I'm glad your cold is clearing up now  xx

Poppy - how are you lively? How are things going? Xx

Bexter - how are you? So true with the weight gain we have no control during Ivf  xx

Lottie - how are you and those bubbas ? You made a decision about work yet? Xx

Kazza - how are you and the bump? Xx

Becky - how are you Hun ,? Hope you've been taking care of yourself xx

Chixy - sorry to hear everything didn't go to plan in ny still I hope you managed to still enjoy yourselves  xx

Sorry my personals are not so great  I'm shattered im having to run around like a loon while hubby is bed bound and still no car waiting for a replacement to come on wed ! Getting harder to do everything the bigger in getting no that I'm complaining nothing a good old rest won't cure  

Hope everyone has a nice eve sending special hugs out to hopeful  tonight  xxx


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## Chixy

Hopeful i am so very sad to hear your awful news. Like everyone else I send you big hugs     I know there is nothing we can say to make you feel any better right now but please know that I feel your pain and of course we are always here for you honey. 

Tricia - sounds like you are also having a bit of a tough time of it at the moment - with poor hubby not well after his awful car crash. Hope he continues to make a speedy recovery and you can look after yourself too. Hoping the courtesy car turns up soon - such a nightmare when you are reliant and used to having a car around.

Poppy - hope you are ok and had a good weekend with DW.

Jules - you made it - eight and a half years hey - now its time for pastures new. Exciting times for you hun and hoping the diet is going ok, very hard when you are giving chocolates as gifts. Looking forward to seeing you soon  

Bexter - hope you are well? are you any further forward with your friends house and possibly getting in earlier to clean and prep before ET?

Kirstie - good on you getting the motivation back for getting back on the exercise regime and having the willpower to resist those tempting treats. 

Lottie, Kazza and Becky - I hope that you are well and wanted to say  

I have spent £700 on all my drugs today in readiness for starting tx on Friday -- yikes!!!!  I even tried to get some numbing cream (what is it called?) the cream that can help with the pain of needles?? Well anyway they said it is not sold over the counter and that they would not recommend it whilst having IVF - please can anyone share if they have used this cream and if also they have had problems getting hold of it

sending you all big hugs    

Chixy xxx


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## BeckyA

Oh no hopeful, i am gutted for you.


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## Kazza79

Hi everyone

Sorry it's been so long but been decorating AGAIN lol 

Hopeful- I'm so so sorry hun, was it a routine scan or did you have any problems? 
Take some time with hubby hun   Xxx

Tricia-hi hun how are you feeling? How's bump? Are you getting big ? Hope your DH is ok and recovering well xxx

Jules- hi hun I'm good thanks   I love reading your posts even when I don't post you are always making me laugh   its a shame I can't meet you all but I'm to far away boooooooo! Xxx

Chixy- hi and hello hope you are all good xxx. 

Hello to everyone else and hope everyone is ok xxxx

I'm half way yeahhhhhh work is being a right b**ch at the min and my house looks like a bomb has gone off in it but it's all good, as my mum keeps saying to me " you can't make a omelet without breaking eggs" lol bless her I know she is right but my house it a right mess   xxx


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## Lottie1802

Hopeful im sending my love, I cant begin to imagine how you feel but we are here to support you whenever you need it x x x 

Tricia I am ok thanks , I applied for voluntary redundancy and ive been told its likely they'll accept, so I should be a free woman as of 13th April ! How are you?

Kazza nice to see you and congrats on the half way mark!! Exciting x

Jules congrats on your last day, if your anything like me you will of cried the whole way home lol

Bexter hows that boiler..dare I ask! Hows things treating you?

Poppy, any updates Sending your snowbabies sticky vibes so they are ready for mumma

To everyone else helloo ladies  

AFM as I said to tricia i've applied for redundancy so I should be finishing work in 7 weeks, i'll officially be an unemployed bum for the first time in my life! Im looking forward to meeting a few of you on the 14th march! Its the day after my next scan which is exciting. Other than that diy has ground to a halt but I suppose I can make a start again once im off work ...right better get in that shower, im on a stock take at a suppliers warehouse today YAWN


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## Bexter83

Big hugs *Hopeful*   . Don't stop believing, as you know the world of ivf is so complex and things are sadly learnt from experience and misfortune but it will provide knowledge and how things can be improved and tailored to your needs. If you need any help on questions to ask at your review, I'm sure we can all help. Xxx

How you doing *Becky*? Hope you had a nice weekend, enjoying your wine and how could I forget, your little cats 1st birthday, hehe. She is very cute btw.

Oh no *Chixy*! Your on a bit of a bad run by the sounds of it......you need to get the third one out if the way, so you get your good run of 3 things .......sometimes I try and force one, lol, maybe set a boobie trap, and get it I er and fine with . I hope things get better for you though. 
The magic cream is Emla cream, it's behind the counter but no need for a prescription. It doesnt effect the drugs (I asked consultant before and it doesn't) but ask yours if you are concerned. It's cheaper to buy the tube on its own, than with the dressing. I put a thick layer on the jab area (ok, am going to sound like a complete loon now ), then put a sheet of cling film over and put a plaster each side to hold cling film on. It's nuts but it works and this cycle with the jabs was a completely different experience to my first where I dreaded them all the time. This cycle, I didn't care at all. Back on the buserelin v soon but this one doesn't sting like the menopur 450, but will stick to my crazy Emla procedure .
All the best with the scratch today. I have mine on thurs eve, so not looking forward to it but it's over in a few mins. 
I'm ok thanks hun . I got the oven pride, lol but will do it closer to the time we move but before ET. I think with the cleaning both ends (house we're leaving and place we're moving into, mark will have to do the bits I cant. I know it all sounds minor and probably crazy to most people but we all know what the 2ww is like and don't want to live with the thought it was me lifting the Hoover up the stairs or chemicals from cleaning and unpacking etc, if unsucessful, even if it wasn't down to that. Oh so anyways, we will find out for def about our friends flat on Friday, it should still be on and ok, ask think they would have let us know if wasn't but we'lol get confirmation then, so we can make other arrangements if need be.
How are you feeling about starting? It's nice that you, Poppy and myself will be cycling together.

*Tricia*, I know we text the other day but hoping things are starting to feel more calm and I really hope you get your replacement car v soon too. Also hoping someone gives you break soon, jeez you have had some things thrown at you since this process.

That's it *Kirstie*! No pain no gain! Totally know what you mean, it's so easy to slip and give in but sounds like your determined and I'm sure you'll enjoy seeing the results v soon, which makes it easier to stay on the straight and narrow. I've felt the IVF weight harder to lose this time but I think it's because I almost went straight onto the pill maybe. I'm going to be a big bloat v soon on the Buserelin and HRT and steroids starting next week, so trying so hard but am having quite a few slip ups, damn you wine and chocolates!! Well you've got to have treats, otherwise would make life v boring and sad but I find to get going on a diet plan you almost need to be a bit hardcore to get into the habits swing of it. Am loving the 'deliciously Ella' plan . Are you following any sort of plan or your plan is cut things out? Hopefully it wI'll start getting warmer soon and you can do your running again too. 
Glad to hear your cold is shifting. If cough continues, I find Corvonia cough medicine the most effective one (can't help but sing Cooorrrvonia in Ainsley Harriet's voice now ). Awwww that is so lovely and very exciting for your friends and so wonderful that these children will have a loving home. I used to babysit and spend time after school & college with my neighbours foster children all the time, used to get so awkward, they would always hug me and call me mum, bless them. 
So did you say your next app is in September?

Hey *Jules*, my sister from another mister, lol . Ha ha cool we could set an oven cleaning date...or maybe not&#128516;. Loved your work desk yesterday, how lovely of them. I'm not surprised you were much loved and will be missed, as your like little miss sunshine and occasionally little miss naughty  but your probably a breath of fresh air in the IT world but you get to spread your cheer and bring fun and  Somewhere new. I was imagining you driving away, yes in a vintage convertable with the silk scarf, shades, driving away like Thelma and Louise but not off a cliff, lol, escaping the office, closing that chapter but then reality was your getting stuck on spaghetti junction, getting road rage, showing the bird to someone who's just cut you up. Ha ha.

Hey *Lottie* hunny! Quite exciting really and it's not really that far away from when little twinnies will arrive, which will be nice for you to enjoy the last part of your pregnancy, nesting as they say. Stock take....oh fun!! You could do a countdown to how many days you have left there, I'm sure that would brighten up your days, or like the prison sentence and put the line of chalk on the wall every day .
Can't wait to see you again soon&#128515;.
Oh the boiler, it's ok, someone's coming today to look at it and I got it working myself this am but it's been doing my head in and always seems to happen when it's freezinh, grrr!

Xxxxxxx


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## K.Notman

Real quick on from me as our internet was down this morning and now back on so I'm playing catch up with everything.
I just wanted to send Hopeful all my love and hugs.  I did the 'Home alone' shocked face when I read your devastating news and am so so sorry for you.  I can't imagine what you are going through but I hope each day gets easier. xxxx


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## hopeful1985

Thanks guys. Not feeling like a long message really sorry i appreciate all the strength u have given me. Just a waiting game now. Feel like a ticking time bomb at the min. Hard as im still having the sickness etc with the ohss. Not sunk in yet. Poor DH is so worried about me hes not processing himself and bottling it up. Any advice? X


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## Bexter83

Your being very strong hun , keep drinking lots of water to try and get that OHSS gone, I heard that avoiding salt and sugar helps with that too. I hope your sickness goes v soon hun, big hugs. 
Does your hospital offer any councilling? It may be worth enquiring about that for you both, if not I'd go to the doctors and explain and say you need immediate councelling from this. It's a highly painful experience your both going through. Also I think we all benefitted from a little break away with our partners after. Even a weekend UK retreat could be very beneficial to you both right now. I think by having a couple of days away from routine life, doing a few things together to keep you strong could be good for you. 
I was no way near what you must be experiencing right now as mine was an immediate BFN but I felt I dipped in and out of very low feelings, like depression, we had a comedy show out with another couple (our best mates really), thankfully for me they understand the highs and lows of ivf as they've been through it, so it was perfect company, an understanding without talking about it, however, we were at the show and I couldn't believe I was laughing so much, I felt so much better after. 
Have some cuddles with the DH, enquire about the councelling and try and set this up. Make a plan to cook a nice meal for the DH or go out for a nice dinner together and set little tasks to move on and have things to look forward to (as hard as it seems to be able to enjoy anything right now but time is a great healer), then maybe distract yourself by looking into a little break away which you can start looking forward too. Hopefully you'll have your review soon and you'll start feeling a million times better than you do now.
I hope this helps xxx


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## hopeful1985

Thanks bexster x x hugs x x


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## jules418

Hi hopeful. 

sending massive hugs whilst you process all that is happening. 

I just wanted to say what DH and I did when I MC. It may help or may not but may hopefully give you some ideas. 
The day after, we got a train to Stratford and just walked and walked and talked about random silliness, looked at the swans and tried to be 'normal' We went for a nice meal and looked in the shops and also sat and people watched (we were also very mean about passers by but it cheered us up a bit) then it was time to go home and I didn't want to so we bought a jig saw from WH Smiths and said that we could do this as a way of being together but not sat in front of tele plus it distracted the mind. 
We did similar things for the following week, I didn't want counselling as thought it wasn't relevant and I would get better. the week after I was ok and thought great defo don't need it. Then the next week I was crying every day and booked in to see counsellor.
This was the best thing I did......I then had a follow up session about 4 weeks later and I realised I didn't need another but was glad I went to confirm it as sometimes you think you are finr but then when you talk about it you realise you are actually not. 

Now men....they deal with it in a totally different way and I am not sure Bob has dealt with it still (it was Nov) They don't talk like us ladies do so don't have an outlet. Bob had rugby and I know he picked a few fights on the pitch and that helped him run out and punch out his aggression obv as with rugby they are all mates afterwards and he bought the guys a pint. 

Is there an outlet that your DH can use? like rugby or football or fishing or anything really. Also for now he wont want to deal with how he feels and he will want to protect you, It is hard cos you want to fix him but you have to let him. 

hope I haven't waffled on or upset you any further. this is just stuff I found out after my MC some may help some may not but know we are all here for you


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## hopeful1985

Its almost like a limbo at min cos i have been on sick leave with ohss and trapped in this poxy house for 2.5 weeks. I just wanna escape. But until i start bleeding and actually pass it i feel trapped. DH is stuck at work so that when i do bleed and have to go to the hospital (doctors orders) to be monitored he can come. So ita like we r on pause at min and cant do anything which makes it hard for him to process x


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## K.Notman

Hi Hopeful, Bexter and Jules have offered some good advice.
I agree that counselling is worth looking into.  We didn't use the service ourselves (except before the process because we used my sister as a donor) but I actually think that Ralph has got a lot in his head (not necessarily IVF but it has added extra stress) that he ought to talk through with someone impartial and whilst it's on offer, it's worth doing.  As Jules said- men don't talk it out with friends.  Your DH will also be feeling so helpless that he can't do anything for you so you need to reassure him that just being there is what you need.

I also agree with having mini-things to look forward to, even if it's just the cinema or something.  It will help with escapism and distraction.  Give your self some quality time together and look after yourself.  Don't put extra pressure on yourself.  I actually found the hardest part was my period the fortnight after the negative test-where body passed what would have been the embies. I know this is something that your bound to feel emotional about having gone further on than me so all I can do is send you my love and hugs.

This is one massive ride and you have already had the set back when the cycle was cancelled after your EC so have already experienced disappointment.  The only way I could get to understand it all was that it just wasn't meant to be.  Those little embies were never going to become healthy human beings and this is just natural selection. BUT there is no reason at all why you cant go again in the future.  You may take a break to let your body get back to normality after all the hormones and OHSS.  Then when you are physically and mentally ready, you can see about having another try.  

Review meetings are always very good for helping you feel positive after a failed cycle as it gives you hope for the future.  But it's all in your time.  Contact your clinic if you have any concerns as they are very experienced in how to handle this.


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## poppy05

Evening lovelies


Hopeful, sending you more strength and big hugs   
I also think you would benefit from some councelling, you will be surprised what is in your head once you start talking   
When i had my mc, we went away for a weekend, i cant say its the best weekend away ive had, but we went for some nice meals, bought a few bits wondering round the shops, had a couple of cocktails, and lots of talking.
no one can tell you how you should be right now, so my advice is go with the flow, if you feel like crying then cry, if you feel like shouting then shout, if you feel like opening up and talking about it all, then do it, we all find our own way of dealing with things, and my way has always been this .... i allow myself to be sad and grieve my loss, but i also believe everying happens for a reason, and the 2 pregnancies ive had weren't the ones to bring me my healthy baby, for some reason i was meant to go on this hideous fertility journey, and i believe by going through what i have will make me be an amazing mummy, maybe i wouldnt of been so great had i of fallen pregnant 19 years ago at the young age of 20? 
now we are going into our very last try, i have been thinking of what we will do if it doesnt work, and although material things cant replace a baby, its all i would have, so we've made plans for if we need to, and actually im quite happy with some of the decisions we have made, sometimes you have to look past babies and remember there is still the two of you.
It will be so hard on your dh, so just make sure you talk to him, and give eachother lots of love and cuddles, you will get through this together,   




Tricia, i hope dh is feeling a bit better,   


lottie, not spoken to you for ages, hope all is ok, will have to ring you for a proper chat when i get a minute   


jules, good luck with the new job  glad you were treated lovely on your last day   


chixy, im sorry nyc wasnt what you was expecting, but after all the crap lets hope you are due some good fortune    


kirstie, have you had your appt yet? sorry if ive missed your post, but ive not caught up properly yet   


bexter hows you babes? when do you start meds?   


becky, kazza everyone else, sending hugs   


AFM, so i had my 2nd monitoring scan yesterday, as expected not alot happening yet, my lining was 6.4, and largest follie was 8mm, i had about 6-8 follies which is weird to see considering im on no meds!!! they were very small though, sonographer said the biggest was on the right and i would prob ovulate from that side.
I have got to start my ovulation tests from thurs, another scan on fri, my cycles are around 34 days so me and the nurse agreed ovulation wont be until next week, but they dont want to miss it so they are keeping a close eye on things, which im glad about.
I started the prednisolone yesterday, im not sure i like the idea of putting steroids into me, but hey if it gets me a baby i'll take anything! 
I had a call from the healthcare at home people about my intralipids, but i dont have a date yet, so that was a bit annoying, still im pleased to know they have my prescription all there ready for me.
Tricia, it did work out cheaper to have them at home, my clinic charge £500 admission fee alone, then i think its about another £300 on top for meds and nurse care!!!! to have it at home it is £302!!
Heres hoping things get moving next week! 


Lots of love to my special girlies    xxxx


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## Bexter83

Hey *Poppy*, wow it's all happening so fast. So how does it work then? Do you have to ovulate first and then can have FET once you have naturally ovulated? I wonder if I'll be given the trigger shot to get that out of the way before receiving my frosties? Am going to the clinic tomorrow evening for the scratch and will pick up the Buserelin & HRT bits, so I'll get all info then. AF should arrive anytime from the weekend to early next week, so I believe I'll start all the drugs and possibly the prednisolone from then too. 
Yay! Fab news that the intrapilids bring cheaper at home, that's much better&#128077;&#128077;.
How are you feeling though? I'm praying so much for both our snow babies, let these be our miracles  . 
I've been ok thanks hun, am getting bits organised and being distracted with lots of things at the moment, so it's taken my mind off what's to come but I'm sure that will change once I'm getting closer to ET. 
I've had a v good old school friend of mine (we don't see each other often as don't live close anymore) but she's known about the previous ivf abd has been v supportive. I had a feeling she was pregnant, something was telling me and I text her and asked Her as I had a feeling and she said she was, how did I know? And thankfully she feels better now for me knowing as she said she felt so bad but I'm glad she knows I'm happy for her. 
Also, have you seen the new breaking IVF news on being able to use 3 persons DNA now? I think it's wonderful! We have a male gay couple friends and love em loads and it's so hard for them, they've been to America last September to meet up with either first male gay couple to be born through surrogacy (something like that) and they are trying to find a surrogate and it's looking like a £100K type of job and there's always the risk the woman carrier can decide at any point to not give it up, even with a contract. I don't know their latest plans but I hope so much they reach their dream, they would make wonderful parents.

Xxx


----------



## poppy05

Hey Bex hunni
So in a natural cycle they are waiting to see my lining at least 7mm, and a follicle of about 18mm, when i detect my surge on opk, i then do trigger shot, they have to pick the right moment to do et, they do it at the point your body is waiting to see if its pregnant, so they kind of trick your body into thinking it got pregnant with the egg you just ovulated.
Im feeling excited and positive, if this is ever going to work for us then its now!
We have already spoken this morn about the steroid side effects, but seriously they are awful, ive got such a bad tummy, and im exhausted from lack of sleep, literally not even 10 mins since sunday night, yet im buzzing my tits off!!!   
I do so hope and pray we get to share our pregnancies together,   
Ah its lovely that your friend is pregnant, its always a bit tough, but glad your happy for her.


Ive read in the news about the new stem cell technology that they can make sperm and egg cells from human skin from same sex couples, part of me thinks its weird, but the other part thinks its amazing, especially for male gay couples, its so much harder for them to become parents, and wow 100k for surrogacy? thats just ridiculous, i hope your friends oneday achieve their dream of becoming daddies


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## Bexter83

Thanks for that Poppy, I'm new to FET and just couldn't get my head around the ovulation bit with it but makes sense now. Yep I'm really feeling positive for you too😃❄❄. 
Oh god you poor thing chicky! Yeah you've gone into sleep deprivation mode where you've gone into overdrive but still feel tired at the same time. You know that feeling where you can feel your face or your eyes feel like their hanging off your face , I used to work nights and would sleep about 3-5 hrs on those days and I used to get that. I felt the sleep thing with the 2 days of the steroids but because at that point I had all the Stimming drugs and trigger in me, I just remember a big blur of feeling different in my body anyway, so is it nausa? Or toilet trouble (sorry tmi)? 
I so hope so too!!   Please let us be on the pregnancy bus🚌. 
There were a few friends and family we told about our fertility issue and ivf when did first cycle. I realised that I Shouldn't had because I had made it difficult and sad for them to share and enjoy their experience until I assured them. It's just another factor to contribute towards how isolating this experience can be. 

I really hope they become daddies too, I wish I could give them this. I'll wait further down the line and need to focus on our plan first but I may talk to mark and suggest or look into using a donar egg and carry it for them but it's not a decision I can make on my own. Its so interesting about all the new technology. I hope one day IVF will be 100% guaranteed. We are hoping we won't need anymore cycles but have found an option in Norway which we would highly consider, as a lot cheaper. This cycle has cost me about £7K. 

Enjoy your Disney movie day, sounds lovely xxx


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## jules418

Hi ladies 

How you are all well 

Big hugs to hopeful 

Just a quick one had anything changed on the chat I can't access in my mobile any more 

Jxxx


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## poppy05

Jules ive flagged this issue up to admin, im not sure why mobile devices cant get in chat at mo, im in there on laptop xx


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## jules418

I havent got laptop at the mo had to hand it back when I left work boooo. Glad it isn't just me though phew. Well have to get the pc working for next week lol


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## Bexter83

Hi ladies, How are we all?

*Chixy* how did you get on on Tuesday with the scratch? Hope went well .

*Hopeful*, how are you doing hun, more hugs coming your way   .

Love to all xxx


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## Chixy

Hi Lovely ladies,

I have had a manic week getting in late most nights with one thing and another. I have been trying to keep up with all your posts.

Hopeful - hope you are bearing up. We too got a BFP from our last cycle, but on the 7 week scan it was revealed that not all was how it should be. Unfortunately we had to return week 8 and week 9 for further scans. The reason a third scan was requested was because they felt there had been some development and change between week 7 and 8. However after the third scan at the EPU a discussion was made that was no longer a viable pregnancy. During those three weeks life was awful - scary and not knowing what was going to happen. There was an element of hope that the baby would develop and all would be ok but I guess deep down I knew it was really over from the 7 week scan. We then had to make a discussion as to which process to take in the miscarriage. I was aware of a friend's experience who ended up going through letting nature take its course, followed by having the pessaries but ended up having to have the D and C operation. So I decided on having the operation because I knew I needed to move on from this as soon as I could. I was worried that leaving nature to take its course could set us back months and I was desperate to try another cycle as soon as it was possible for us. It was not until the miscarriage was over that i then felt i could seek counselling. I found counselling helpful but I also felt that my DH and I needed something to look forward to so we booked a holiday to get away from it all. I think like the other ladies have suggested - counselling maybe helpful to you but also making plans e.g. meeting up with friends for meals (ladies that do lunch/dinner) booking a weekend away - maybe helpful so that you have other things to focus on but also have something to look forward to. I hope my experience helps you and gives you hope for the future and a way forward. I know how hard it is and how emotional it is. Take care my love and I send you lots of   

Bexter - thanks for thinking of me. My scratch was fine - painful but fine. Annoyingly I was kept waiting an hour after my original appointment grrr I start my DR injections tomorrow - nervous and a little excited at the same time. How are you honey?

Poppy - thank you for sharing how FET works, it is really interesting to see what you have to do the same/ differently. How are you feeling about it all - excited I hope?

Hello to Jules, Kirstie, Lottie, Becky, Kazza, Tricia (hope you DH is much better after his terrible car accident?)

lots of love to you all

Chixy xxx


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## poppy05

Bexter, didnt you have your scratch today? how was it? are you now on the mad drugs?   


Jules hows rhe new job babes?   


hi chixy, so lovely seeing you back here, glad to read your scratch was ok   


lottie, hope you are ok after today? use the lift in future please lady   


Tricia, hope mr T is ok oh hahaha mr T that made me laugh out loud   but yes hope hes feeling better   


Hi everyone else


AFM, Im still here still awake, took another day off work today, im just not feeling it right now, fed up and tired!! i better be bloody pregnant after all this bow larks!!!!! 
yes im a mod and yes i swore!!!   


Scan 3 tomorrow, my ovaries hurt today so something is going on, did my 1st opk this morn, that was weird, and as expected no smiley face yet.


Im wishing my life away at mo, i just want to get through these next couple of months asap   


Night night all, catch up tomorrow xx


----------



## Bexter83

Morning ladies,

How are we all?

Hey *Poppy*, I'm not even on those pesky steroid tablets and have woken up at 04:39am, grrrrr! This week I can't get tired at night and waking up so early. Currently watching House Doctor with the lady in the corner doing sign language, Poppy we will be fluent in sign by the end of this! 
How are have the last 2 nights been on them (since last spoke). Do you think it's the meds making your ovaries hurt or that you're avian to give extra thought on them, so yiur more aware maybe? You did say the other day that the scan showed you had Follie action going on although it's a natural FET your doing.
The scratch was much better and quicker this time, my Minnie moo was more co operative and worked first time. I popped 2x 500 co codamols on the drive iver to clinic , which I had left over from when had tonsils removed. I still fell faint after procedure again but the nurse said it's because I have low blood pressure, which I've always been told I have. So even when things don't hurt or if I get up really quickly I get faint but it's not bad or anything, just annoying.
I started the Buserelin last night and I start HRT stuff day AF arrives. 
Was peed off (was having a bad day yesterday), as only was because I mentioned to the nurse after EC, am I needing the scratch again and she said oh yes I would and I knew that I'd need it before AFA arrives because had it before. Then a few weeks ago I called up trying to get an app for this evening to have done, as would be in the area and could have done before going out (clinic is over 1hr drive away each way), so anyways it had to be thurs eve because consultant wasn't in tonight. Ok, so booked that in no probs. so after the scratch the nurse gives me all the meds and info needed and asked was this day 21 (Isaid yes as last pill taken was wed), she was saying ok buserelin has to start from day 21, so need to start tonight. Was anyone going to tell me all this or was it down to the gods to have randomly made this all happen into place.

Hey *Chixy*, glad the scratch procedure went well but not cool about waiting that long to get your DR stuff . So you start DR tonight. How do you feel about it? It's scary and exciting isn't it!?

Then I had my first acupuncture session since jan booked in yesterday, so I allowed double the time to get there incase bit of traffic, one road was at a standstill and didn't really move for about 20 mins and still had 2 miles left on that road, so I turned around to try an alternative route and end up on an A road which I can't correct my mistake for 14 miles and then 14 miles back, by this point I'm missing my appointment, feeling more stressed than a few needles could fix and didn't know how to get there, end up going back home, after a point,was 40mile drive. I let my acupuncturist know and I'm really sorry but I still have to pay £45 for the session I didn't have!! I'm just so angry at this point, I decided I'm not being a slave to all this bull s!?# anymore, the world can stop mugging me anymore for this deprecate situation I'm in and go and do one! I've never been one to be fooled into gimmicks, beauty stuff etc but only this one area in my life have I felt the guilt of I don't do this or if don't do that, it was my fault. 
So I try to transfer this money over to her anyway but I end up being locked out of the key fob code thing and have no idea what my code is because I've been using the app for so long. Grrrrrr! I hope today is a better day!!


----------



## Chixy

Seeking advice ASAP. Started on Buserelin today so forth cycle begins eeeek!!!

Question 1:
I will be taking the steriods this time but have no idea when I start this in the process - does any body know?

Question 2:
I cannot afford to procede with acupuncture - do you think this will really affect things? I have followed my last three treatments with acupuncture!

Thanks in advance for any advice 

Love to all
Chixy xx


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## Bexter83

Hi *Chixy* hun, don't panic . 
1. Ok I asked about when I start steroids, is it the prednisolone ones? If so, you start these when you start your progesterone pessaries which is the day before EC. 
If it's the other steroid one you start them whilst stimming (that's what happened with my friend and then she also started prednisolone also on day before EC) but do check with your clinic to be sure. 
2. I've jacked in acupuncture now. I can't keep paying for this and juggling appointments with everything else at the moment, it's becoming more stressful than the apparent de stressing effect it's supposed to have. It's purely a personal choice. It is supposed to help with blood flow, however there are cheap and free ways to achieve this. The best thing anyone can do for this is by walking. If your in an office job and sitting at your desk, it's advised to go for a walk to get blood flow moving around the hip area, when going through treatment. L-arginine improves blood blow but this is in pregnacare. Aspirin thins the blood and lots of clinics advise to take a baby aspirin each day, which helps blood flow and so do many foods, cayenne pepper. Get the hot water bottle out and use it when you can.

Get all your questions you want to ask and give the clinic a call and tick them all off, you'll feel a lot better xxxx


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## poppy05

morning 


Bexter i do have some follie activity yes, and since my tx journey began ive always been aware of my cycle, so no i dont think its the meds, im only on steroids and aspirin, pee'd on my stick again this morn and no surge yet, but i dont expect to see that until at least mon, as my cycles are around 34 days, im day 14 today.
I only bloody slept lastnight didnt i!!!!!!!!!!! omg im so grateful, i think i got around 5 hours sleep, so still not the best but its def better than none.
Glad your scratch went ok, i cant believe no one told you about starting buseralin on day 21, that was a damn good fluke!!!! but thank god you have joined me!!! when do you start your evil pills?   


Chixy, please dont take what im about to say the wrong way, but maybe not doing the acu this time will be a good thing? i know it must feel like a bit of a security blanket, but i always feel after a negative cycle/mc then we need to change something from previous cycles, so perhaps this is the thing you need to change? 
Im very excited to hear you have started dr, and another whipper joining me on the evil steroids!!!    i keep thinking that i'll be giving birth to a baby popeye!!!!   




Right i gotta get ready to go to london for my scan, will be back later xx


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## Bexter83

Yay Sleeping Beauty!! You got some sleep . I know only 5 hrs but you must feel so much more refreshed and Margaret Thatcher ruled the country on 5 hours sleep a day. Maybe it's ovulation twinges then, so you should get the LH surge like you say around Monday. 
It was a fluke and my first cycle I was in buserelin & menopur and I started buserelin after my period started, so I didn't know this or think to ask at all. Well maybe someone is looking down on me and using me like a chess board right now, things seem to feel very strange at the moment. 
I'll be starting those dreaded steroids around 5 days before ET, so as long as my lining thickens nicely and as it should, that will be around 2-3 weeks time. 
Is your tummy still playing up?
You know what, I really think your right about the acupuncture thing. I know I'm being biased right now because it peed me off big time yesterday but it's put my nose out if joint but sometimes you do need to change things from last cycle, whatever that is. My friend tried everything, Chinese herbs, everything you could imagine, bless her she had been trying for years and years but she said yesterday that it became a joke, travelling to all these different places, appointments, costing a fortune, setting reminders on when and what to take no she jacked it in after. She said it became so stressful during a time your not supposed to be (the stress of the treatment is bad enough). She had a beautiful boy on another cycle. 
We are moving around time of ET and I was looking into acupuncturists in new area and then I started questioning it all and was hesitant, so when that happened yesterday, it just made my mind up. 

Goodluck at your scan today xxxx


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## jules418

Hi ladies Hope you are well exciting times ahead for you. 

Feels weird being the bystander but have my pma sick ready for you all he he.

I love my Acupuncturist howbeit I am also in two minds about sing him this time around. Reason being I feel like I am in a different place now than I was when I first started all this. I dont feel as desperate as before. Don't get me wind I am still desperate to be a mom get that bfp that pregnant feeling,  giving birth etc. But I don't feel like I am boxed in grasping at everything does that make sense? Maybe I feel like that cos not starting for a few months but I do feel more chilled plus I know I want it for what it is and i think the new job helps with that as before it was ooo when do I go on mat leave ha ha.

Bexter hope you have a better day today xx as if they hadn't told you about day 21 glad the universe was on your side eventually. 

Poppy Yay for 5 hours sleep hope you get a nice kip tonight too.

Tricia How is dh?

Hopeful how are you holding up hunni 

Afm I start new job on Monday and looking forward to it had some lovely days off this week with dh was supposed to be shopping today but he had a tattoo on his thigh yesterday and couldnt walk very well we still went in to solihull for other stuff but by time went to shops I wanted I had lost interest ha ha 

Have a lovely weekend ladies 

Jules xx


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## Chixy

Thank so much Bexter and Poppy for your advice and support. I have spoken to the clinic as you advised Bexter and you are right about starting steroids later in the cycle. It is really reassuring to hear your views on acupuncture and Poppy I think you are right - changing something from last cycle is crucial. when I saw the consultant who did my scratch we asked what I was doing/ taking for this cycle - i mentioned that all was the same except for having steroids this time. She flagged up the increase chance of baby having cleft lift palate!! anyone else been told about this and what are your views? I mean at the end of the day We are trying to increase our chances of having a baby!!! are there any pros or cons??

Jules - Monday will be here before you know it!! Like you I really like my acupuncturist and she has certainly taught me a lot but like Bexter I found the whole experience stressful - getting to appointments on time, plus not really liking needles!!! Just scared it is something I should not stop - but deep down I know I have made my mind up really - and will knock it on the head - financially money needs to be spent else where. 

Poppy - I hope your scan went very well today. Have you taken steroids for any other cycles before? I don't really know much about them and hope I have made the right decision in taking them for this cycle?

Bexter - good to hear your scratch went well - you sound much braver than me!! I walk our dog more at the weekends than in the week due to my DH always managing to get home before me most evenings but I hope to get some exercise through following a programme on the Wii. I am shocked that your clinic failed to tell you when you were to start Bruserelin. For my cycles I have always started on day 21. Were your previous cycles - short protocol? 

I really appreciate all your help and guidance ladies and wish you all a great weekend.

lots of love 

Chixy xxx


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## jules418

He he welcome choxy lol 
I know what you mean hun but think of all we have learnt from the acupuncturists how to relax and refocus our minds. I think now we can really help each other too as we all know each other better than last cycle 
When you have had ET my acupuncturist said to massage the inner side of thumb this is supposed to increase blood flow to the uterus. 

Jxx


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## poppy05

Hi girls


Quick me post (sorry)


Scan wasnt too wonderful today, my lining is brilliant and is measuring 9.3mm, but i dont have a lead follicle, all small antral follicles, so they dont know where my oestrogen is coming from to give me such a good lining, so they have taken some blood, and will call me tomorrow, we will either start pregesterone and oestrogen or abandon this cycle, im leaning more towards abandoning, it is what it is, but im a bir fed up, i just feel like this is being dragged on and on, and i just want the whole damn journey to end right now! 
More money, more stress, probably more borrowing, im just fed up of it now.
I dont want to wait for another af then start the whole monitoring process all over again, and i also dont want my embies back if my body isnt in the right place to receive them!!! grrrrrr  


chixy no ive never had steroids before, and did they tell you steroids can cause cleft pallate? if so ignore them! how dare they worry you with this bull s***!!!!! sorry but they do annoy me, any baby could be born with any kind of defect, and a bloody tablet wouldnt necessarily be the cause, dont stress yourself babes   




Rifht im off to stuff a mahoosive chinese, i cant drink, i cant smoke, but i can eat!!!!


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies,

*Poppy*, did you a decent nights sleep last night? I hope you enjoyed your Chinese last night . 
You poor thing hun, it's so scary and never straight forward is it!? I really hope the call today is good news . I can totally understand the feelings you explained ! feels like a never ending thing you keep going through. Please do keep sticking to your plan and going to recieve Elsa & Olaf, I have a good feeling about them, hang on in there my love. Sending lots of positive vibes to you, hoping its all ok and healthy to keep going this cycle. 
Let us know how you get on Xxx

*Chixy*, glad you got through to the clinic to get your questions answered. I had read about possible damage to babies health when taking steroids whilst pregnant but hadn't heard about the cleft pallate. The chances of these damages are small and they would not be issuing these drugs so readily if it were such high risk. It's like in America on their adverts, the woman's voice in the background listing all the possible side effects so quickly, all just to protect themselves from legal stuff. Lol, one was for a herbal supplement, the list was going on forever, on my life at the end, the last one said, may cause death! . Anyways, there are so many things and drugs which they have to give possible cases but I did read that it such a small rusk of health damage to babies by taking steroids whilst pregnant, please don't worry if think about it. We know that we are most likely needing this to be able to have a baby and it's a v small risk but one we have to take, unless you choose not to.
How are you getting on with the jabs? Hope they are treating you well. Last night I took mine out with me and I didn't use Emla cream and was fine, so going to go without from now on. 
Lol, the co codamol and the distraction method worked a treat with the scratch, lol. I don't even know what I was waffling about but there were no complications with it and it was much more comfortable than the previous time. 
My first cycle I was on a short protocol, so jabs started once AF arrived. This cycle I was on an antagonist protocol which is also a short protocol but you don't DR. You go straight into Stimming when AF arrives. 
Are you on a short or long protocol? 
Sounds great that you go for your long walks at the weekends with your dogs. I'm so jealous of you ladies and your doggies! I want one so badly!!! Yeah I did read that it was really good for blood flow and it's not high impact for whilst stimming and PUPO. 
Don't stress yourself with the acupuncture. Staying healthy, eliminating as many stressful factors would be the most beneficial thing you can do. If you do want to have 1 or 2 sessions, maybe just book one pre and post transfer? I might do this, I may not? I'm not going to let it play on my mind, I'll decide closer to the time. Or I might just get my sewing kit out and start to teach myself, I'm starting to think this is a v lucrative business!
Just think eat healthy, plenty of water, brisk walks or yoga if you fancied it, use your hot water bottle up until ET and do things which make you feel good, relaxed and calm.

*Jules*, soooo exciting! Starting your new job on Monday. How you feeling? Cool! What tattoo did Bob get? Must had been lovely having almost a week off too , glad youve had a nice break. Good tip on the inside thumb thing. 
Not long to go really and you can enjoy these next 2 months to get stuck into your new job/challenge and enjoy your social life too and feel good and ready to start as your own your diet plan. You'll be in a really good place.

How is everyone else?

AFM, so jabs are going well. Went out last night for a friends joint 40th dinner party abd was really nice. So I've been on the deliciously Ella thing and have been doing 4 or 8 mile walks most days (1 or 2 laps of route). So have been feeling great! But last night I had a gremlin in me and was a monster, lol but AF arrived when I got home at 2am, which is only day 22/23 of cycle, not day 28. So started the HRT stuff this morning and I'll have a scan in the week.


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## poppy05

Evening lovelies


Well i think most of you got my hysterical text this morn    but for those of you who didnt, i got a call today and my ET is booked for thurs!!!!! its taken me all day to calm down, i was literally shaking when i got off the phone, i was 110% sure my cycle was going be cancelled, the nurse said the dr had looked at my blood results, and they showed my lining is fresh and lovley, and no need to waste it, i dont need a lead follicle, after all that, my progesterone is a bit low, but then it always is, as like ive told them 1000 times i dont ovulate regularly, so tonight i started cyclogest (yuck) gestone (ouch) and progynova!! 
Ive got to ring monday and book my first intralipid infusion for wed, omg im so so so soooooooooo scared, nervous, excited, feel sick, every emotion known to man is running through my body right now, its all happened so fast, i almost dont feel ready, it feels like i needed to do more to prepare, having said that its kinda nice i did this all by myself with no meds!!! 
so girls 5 sleeps until my beautiful little elsa and olaf come home with mummies    


Thankyou all for your continued support, i do love you lot   


Hope you are all having fab weekends, i once again didnt sleep a wink lastnight, im dead on my feet as i went back to work today cos i knew it was so busy, just done my gestone, well dw did! now its bedtime, one more day to work then im off for 2 weeks!! woo hoo bring on the 2ww, pee sticks, knicker watch, tears and tantrums, and keep yr phones charged ladies u will be getting texted!!!!!!!


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## Bexter83

Happy Sunday ladies, hope your having a nice weekend.

*Poppy*, so excited for you, 4 more sleeps . Our frosties are all keeping each other company right now  . I'm so happy it's all on and was great news . How was the gestone? Is it bearable? I'm on progynova too. 
Don't be scared about the intraplipids, your a brave chicky and Trisha said its like being drunk, that sounds so cool! 
Not going to let you do earky testing   . I was in a thread and they were torturing themselves by doing it and they were encouraging each other because it was the norm on there and no good came from it, trust me, was quite upsetting to read actually. No early testing for you missy!!

Chixy, I have been thinking about what you mentioned before about your clinic making changes to this cycle. Are you going to be on any other progesterone meds other than pessaries? You can request for a progesterone blood test when you get your BFP and can check your levels, so upto 3x pessaries per day or have gestone jabs too. I asked my clinic to do that. It can't hurt to have it checked. I've had v low progesterone for years but didn't bleed until after I stopped the pessaries after my 2ww, so they were not going to put me on anything else but I've requested for a test, just incase. All this waiting and I'm so happy for everyone but can't go anywhere without it being highlighted, I just want to get there now and be part of the club, as I'm getting bored of it now. There was a pregnancy announcement on fri night and she was drinking coffee and a glass of red wine. I'm happy for her and wish all the best. My friend I asked if was pregnant last week, (just had a feeling, she felt so bad for me but she got pregnant again whilst on the pill. I always have to remind myself that it's not anyone else's problem that this is so difficult for me but difficult to watch people drink and do/have things which I consider a no no but that's life and just got to get on with it.


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## poppy05

morning bexter
the gestone was fine, i didnt actually feel it, when i hesrd dw chuck the needle in the sharps bin i was like 'is it done'? we massaged it with a wheat bag after, if i press there now it feels bruised, but they arent as bad as u imagine, they look a heck of alot worse, i prefer them to cyclogest!!! hate those evil buggers!!! cx


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## Chixy

Hi Ladies,

I hope you have all had a lovely weekend - they seem to melt away so FAST!!

Poppy - what a roller coaster ride and events. I am so pleased to read further on this thread to find that all is well with your cycle and you can continue - phew. I think you have definitely been through enough and certainly do not need to face any more challenges in becoming a wonderful, beautiful Mum. I bet Thursday cannot come round quick enough for you!! But I can also understand the emotions you are facing - so excited with elements of feeling scared/nervous!! It is at times like this that we wish we could look through a crystal ball. Thank you so much for your kind words and support regarding steroids and the side effects I have been stressing about.Rubbish on having to go back to work! do you plan to have any time off after ET? I never know whether I should rest up for a few days or carry on at work as normal??  Take care and cannot wait to hear how ET went and you having Elsa & Olaf onboard!!! Tepee.       

Bexter - I am on long protocol - in fact i have only ever done long protocol for all my cycles- i would also like to thank you for your reassuring words regarding my concerns and stresses. The jabs with DR and Menopur i am fine with because i use an auto - injector (a bit like an EpiPen). It is the clexane injection i really struggle with. It was for the clexane that i was wondering if it was worth getting some cream for? My clinic seem to be against it and said that you cannot buy it over the counter!!! Helpful bunch!! I used frozen peas last time so I think I will stick with this when it comes to the dreaded clexane injections. You are definitely right about the write up on side effects on medication - to be fair if we read up on all our drugs we would probably never take them - madness!! Guess it is down to medics covering their own back and being able to say it is on the drugs leaflet - so that we cannot sue for damages!! Glad to hear your jabs are going well and that you had fun at your friends 40th meal - sounds very sophisticated! Rubbish on havinrmal?? Go girl with your 4 to 8 mile walks - how long does that take you? At least 2 to 3 hours a day?? Like you I have a gremlin inside me as I have been a right bear with a sore head since starting Bruserelin - boo to Bruserelin!! With your AF arriving a little earlier than expected does this mean you will be able to be reunited with your FET sooner rather than later - very exciting times for you and Poppy. We have never made any embryos good enough for freezing -boo. Regarding progesterone I will be on two pessaries a day. Do you think I should ask them to increase this? And never had a blood test after BFP - so i should request this too? I know what you mean about seeing all your friends and family members (cousins for me) all falling pregnant and then drinking wine or eating totally the wrong things. Unlike them - we are watching what we are eating even before an embryo maybe on board!! Life at times is so hard and like you - for me I find it so hard round pregnant people. I hate feeling the way I do and i know it has affected my social life but I am hoping this will be for not much longer. I guess these experiences and the path we have had to take to fulfil our dreams of motherhood have made us stronger some how and value pregnancy and having our own child one day - as valuable. One thing is for sure I am so very grateful for you all on this thread and would not of got through many difficult times during my cycles without you all   (feeling the love!!)

Jules - will be thinking of you tomorrow as you start your new job.

Hello to you all Kistie, Tricia, Kazza, Becky, Lottie and anyone else that I have missed (apologise)

Lots of love to you all

Chixy


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## poppy05

Hey chixy
Thankyou for your lovely words   
I am taking my 2ww off, i dont really believe that rest helps make a difference to the outcome, however i like the fact i can do as much or little as i like, seeing as i have a standing up job, i would rather be off, i cant just sit down or go home when i like, so taking myself out the salon feels the right thing to do, 
Tomorrow is my day off so im only in on tues, as wed is intralipid day, i know im taking this as unpaid leave which is annoying, but i'll be glad to have time out, especially as the old sleep deprivation doesnt seem to be getting any better.




Jules all the best for tomorrow babe, hope you have a fab first day


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## jules418

Evening ladies 

Oooo poppy I am so so so pleased for you wow Thursday is the big day.  Then step away from the sticks like bexter says it will drive you mad. Those 2ww ladies were crazy reminded me of those chickens in that film chicken run lol 
Hope you get some sleep hun xxx

Kirstie hope you had a lovely weekend celebrating dh's birthday xx

Bexter hooray for AF coming it will be system full steam ahead for you now. Are you on Short protocol? 

BeckyA how are you hun. 

Chixy, i wouldnt worry about the side effects. The chances are there in any pregnancy xx not sure BW offer the progesterone levels testing after bfp even if paying I asked about it and they said no. Mums in solihull center do but it is not cheap. I think 80 per test but worth checking their Web site xx

Hopeful how are you hunni xxx 

Afm AF arrived yesterday which means last cycle was 30 days which is back to normal yay. 
Thanks all for the well wishes tomorrow feeling scared but I am sure I will be fine. 
We think we will now start from August cycle so start Dr beginning sept depending on dates and Stimms end sept this will also cover me for my 6th month probation period.  Seems along way away but I am sure it will fly by 

Love to you all 

Jxxxx


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## Bexter83

Hey ladies,

Hope you had a lovely weekend .

That's fab news *Poppy* about the gestone being bearable. How do you warm up the progesterone oil before jabbing? What did you do to make it ok? I hope the bruising isn't too bad. Lol,, those pessaries are pretty manky arnt they, lol. So can't wear black undies on these, ewww! 
3 more sleeps!!!! How's your sleeping been?

*Chixy*, jeez tell me about it! I feel the same. I just want to be free from this feeling because it gets annoying, it hangs over you constantly but not to the point of feeling like you can't get on with anything but like a cold which won't ever leave, where you still can go to work and do everything, your not bed ridden but it just seems to live with you and you you never feel quite 100%. Yep, agree, you gurus are an absolute godsend!! I saw some frievds yesterday and they had their kids around, I was playing and then just talking with the mums and stuff but obviously I got the question, are we wanting kids. I was just like yeah hopefully one day. She's an absolute lovely friend, she was just asking. She asked are we trying? It took them2 years to conceive, it's hard isn't it. I just just said yeah and laughed and and broke any awkwardness but it is hard when you can't avoid it, unless you lock yourself in a box. I did get to meet a friends 2 month old though and have a little cuddle. It just breaks my heart when I look at Mark's face when he sees little babies and I just wish I could give this to him now. Anyways, I'm sure it will happen and hopefully sooner rather than later....Keep calm and carry on, as they say. 
Ouch! I heard that those Clexane jabs are painful. Very odd about the Emla cream. Honestly, you can buy over any pharmacy counter, no problems at all, don't know what your clinic are talking about with that. So do you suffer with blood clots then? What's their reasoning for you being on it? Are you taking baby aspirin daily? 
Yep, I'll be on 2x progestetone pessaries a day whilst on 2ww. If good news, I'll have a progesterone blood test to see if need anymore help. I would request this if I were you, it can't hurt and could save any potential heartache. 
I never get enough eggs either. My FET is because my endometrium wasn't optimum at the time I had EC, so they froze my embryos on day 1. I had 12 follicles, 6 eggs collected, 3 of them immature, all 3 fertlised but 1 fertilised abnormally, so I was left with 2. The embryologist was happy with the 2, saying they were identical and looked healthy but too early to be graded. I've had lots of fears and dreams where they don't thaw but what can I do? Just have to go with the plan and hope for the best, eeeek! 
Yep so with AF arriving early, my FET shoukd be earlier than initially expected but clinic will do scans (1st one will be this thurs) and it just will be a case of when my lining is thick enough.
Are you still DR at the moment or have you started Stimming yet? How's it all going?

*Jules*, wishing you all the best today in your new job! 
Whoop whoop for AF arriving and sounds like your cycles are nice a regular, which is great! Yep August will be here before you know it!! It's an exciting year for you hun . Not too sure if I'm on a long or short protocol tbh? I'm new to this HRT cycle business, but sounds more short because it should be on average 2 weeks from starting HRT stuff to get lining thick enough for ET. I suppose it's all trying to mimick a cycle.

Looking forward to sat 14th , can't wait to meet you and to see you again Lottie. I was going to look at places to go for lunch. Is there anything or any type of cuisine you like or don't like, to go for lunch?

How is everyone else doing?

Xxxxx


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## poppy05

Hi Bexter babe, this is gonna make you laugh, but i put one oil vial under each tit!!!    i left them there for a good 10 mins, i didn't numb with ice, but that was a tip Tricia gave me, however i wanted to try without, dw chose her 'spot' and jabbed it in almost like throwing a dart, i slightly felt her draw back the needle, you have to draw back to make sure no blood enters the syringe, then you know its in the muscle, she injected the oil relatively slow, then pulled needle straight out, no angles!!!!
we had already heated my wheat bag, and dw massaged injection site with that, quite hard for 10 mins, that hurt more than the injection
They only want me doing these every other day, and i alternate bum cheek, so each cheek only gets done every 4 days, i have got a slight bruised lump, but it is 't too bad, 2nd one to ight so hope it goes like the 1st!!
Im getting my prog levels checked at et on thurs, hopefully its ok, im on 2 pessaries a day too.
How are you getting on? whats next for you? when do you start your pred? omg another side effect kicked in today!!! bloody hunger!!!! omg i feel like jabba the hut! im so hungry its a joke, dw woke me up with a slice of toast and a banana at 8am so i could take my meds, then at 10.30 i couldnt cope with feeling faint, so i cooked bacon, sausage tomatoe and toast!!!! and now im just thinking about lunch!!! what a fat cow, honestly i feel like ive not eaten in days   
My sleeping does actually seem to be settling a bit now, although im not getting what i call a good full nights sleep, i did go off lastnight, prob woke up around 4am, went off again and woke at 8am for my breakfast, im feeling very tired, but somehow wide awake, its a very odd feeling actually, but hey ho needs must eh


Jules ive been thinking of you hun, hoping your having a lovely first day, and they are all treating you well   


Happy monday girlies   
Ooh my intralipids are all booked for wed, just got to wait for a call tomorrow for a time  slot   
i got my mummy coming round to sit with me incase i dont like it    never too old for a bit of mummy loving.


Have a good week everyone, its feeling very spring like this morning


----------



## K.Notman

Good afternoon folks. Rare chance to catch up on things, here goes&#8230;

*Poppy*- I love how positive you are sounding now. It's fantastic that you have got the all systems go and I'm really routing for you. I agree that you can never be too old for Mummy loving and you have such a supportive wife too, you are in a great place right now and everything is sliding into place including monitoring your progesterone from the beginning. Your injection routine sounds like a right mission, but one you've taken control of so well done! I hope you can get some better sleep soon. Have you tried a nice relaxing bath before bed, Oveltine or massage? What about falling asleep listening to some chilled out music or meditation tracks? Don't worry about your munchies at the moment. As long as you are still getting all your daily nutrients/supplements you are fine; whatever makes you happy! I'm glad you've got your time off sorted too- like you said, so you can do as much or as little as you want. That will take away the stress and you can have some nice treats planned. With the changes you are making this time round and that you are doing things more naturally at your body's pace I'm sure this is meant to be and Elsa & Olaf will be snuggled in soon.

*Bexter*- As far as the 14th is concerned, as long as there are comfy seats for us to sit down chatting away for hours on then I don't mind. I eat and drink anything! It's going to be a right gaggle of women lol! I'm glad your scratch went well and I hope your scan on Thurs goes well and everything looks healthy. I had all the trouble about not getting thick enough lining- are you taking anything for it? L'arginine was recommended to me too and a high protein diet. I found the acupuncture really helped me for my blood flow and opening up arteries. I didn't find it stressful at all though and was really laid back so it was all about improving the endometrium for me rather than anything else but people have to do what feels right for them. I'm so glad you timed you injections right too, someone is looking down on you and I hope this is a good sign that it's all meant to be.

*Jules*- I hope today went well and was exciting rather than nerve-wracking . I'm sure you made a good impression and they loved you! I'm glad AF proved your cycle is back to normal. It's a relief to think that there is a 'normal'! Getting your body relaxed and back into a natural cycle without extra stuff being pumped into it is important, which is why I wasn't in a rush to get onto HRT straight away in the end. I hope you can now just have a few months chilling and getting used to your job and back into some kind of comfort zone before this all starts again for you. If you felt that the acupuncture was one more thing to worry about then I don't blame you for knocking it on the head either but you can always do a few sessions if you change your mind nearer the time. I guess with you paying for everything this time it is just another thing to consider in your budget. Ralph had a great birthday thanks. Well and truly spoilt! OMG- I can so picture the chicken run ladies and their POAS lol! 

*Chixy*- It's really great to see you posting regularly again and getting the benefit form this invaluable support network. People here are able to help you with the nitty-gritty stuff that you can't get answers anywhere else. I think you should just get the over the counter cream as it seems to have done wonders for everyone else. It might be worth asking BW if they can monitor your progesterone- if you don't ask, you don't get right?! I hope that your injection procedure isn't too bad either and that you take it all in your stride. I completely agree that our path to Motherhood will make us stronger and we have so much more appreciation of the small things. All the dog walking sounds good too. It will really help for good blood circulation and for relaxing you in the fresh air. It's all very positive and you don't need the acupuncture if that's going to cause you grief.

*Hopeful*- How are you hun, still thinking of you.

*Tricia, Lottie, Becky, Kazza* I hope you are all well. Thinking of you all (and anyone else if I forgot you, sorry)

AFM, Well I had a hospital appointment today to go through the donor process with the lead nurse. I signed my consent forms and had to go through what kind of donor I want? Gosh, I had no idea I'd needed to do that. Ralph and I aren't bothered other than an ethnic match but she was saying that some couples have specific things in mind (reminded me of designer babies!). I've read on the other forum where people get eggs abroad, they get to see whole donor profiles like internet dating! Well what happens now is that we wait for her to phone us with a potential match and she gives us 24hrs to think about it and if we go ahead than I start my higher dosage of hormones to get my lining ready whilst they go on the long protocol (like we did with my sister) and it's all timed from her AF. I did a blood test (the usual HIV/Rubella etc) so they had some updated results on my file but they don't need anything else as we are keeping everything else the same.

Anyway, get ready for it ****FANFARE PLEASE**** She is confident she'll find a match within 3 months! WHOOP WHOOP!   So from originally being told it was an 18-24 month waiting list and I'd ruled out anything happening in 2015, it's now likely to be all systems go in the summer! Fan-bloody-tastic! You can't wipe the smile off my face. I'm still not getting my hopes up and looking at dates yet but I could by cycle buddies with Jules! Yay! Sitting in the waiting room together on the naughty seat! It's a good job we haven't booked any holiday yet although the nurse says it's fine too as they can be quite flexible. We are likely only to go on a late available thing anyway which will still be possible and there's still weekends away in the UK. Our main focus is on moving house and we are looking into mortgages and what's on the market in May.

So, Happy Bunnies all round today I think. 
Lots of love. Kirstie


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## poppy05

Omg Kirstie, your post has made me cry!!!!! im so bloody happy for you, i remember when you originally posted to say you had the 18-24 month wait, i could sense the disappointment and sadness, and this new post just oozes happiness, its brilliant news babe, and i am over the moon for you both   
The whole donor thing is odd isnt it? good odd but still odd, i know when we had to choose our sperm donor i wasnt expecting to have to go online, and it almost felt wrong, but the lady who rang me from the xytex was nothing but lovely, and she made me feel like this was a completely normal thing to do, we chose our donor by matching stats to me, and then once we had ordered it we decided to buy his profile, we have an extensive profile of his hobbies, likes, childhood etc, and 6 photographs, we even have a photo of him from when he was a child, we know his birth weight, the whole family medical history, so from what i originally felt to be weird, turned out quite nice, we have put the information on a disc and out of the way for any future children should they request information.
I really hope you get a match very soon, i dont want to build your hopes up in any way, but when i was an egg sharer i got told it would take 3-4 months minimum to match me to a recipient, i got a phonecall 2 weeks later!!!!!!    


Oh girls wouldn't it be lovely to have a full house of mummies by the end of the year   


ps Kirstie, i cant have a bath as we dont have one   , our bathroom is so small we had it removed and had a shower unit fitted, i would so love a nice bath right now too, i always lay down for 20 mins after doing my pessary, and i fell asleep for 3 hours this afternoon after doing it, so least ive had something if i get nothing tonight


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## Lottie1802

Ahhhhh Kirstie that is such amazing news, I have everything crossed for you , if my body wasn't as busy as it is I'd gladly offer you some of my eggs, but you might end up with a little blondie loud mouth   .  

Poppy, I can't believe your nearly PUPO wooooohoooo 

Hey Bexter ! Looking forward to seeing you again next week, we'll have to arrange travel , I literally eat anything except Chinese or fish ! 

Hey jules , how's the new job! I hope you are loving it  

Hey Chixy , lovely to hear from you , I am keeping everything crossed for you   I can't wait for us to all be the other side of this journey together x x 

Tricia, how are you ? How's hubby mending after the accident ? X x 

To anyone who I've missed hello and lots of love  

AFM nothing exciting happening, I found out a week today if I've been accepted for redundancy ! And I think ive painted everything in my house that doesn't move


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## Bexter83

Yay *Kirstie*!!!   , damn where's that naked kartwheel emoji when you need one!!! But I'm over the moon for you, just brilliant news! Been smiling all day and now I know why . This is so interesting.....so it's basically like you have questions whih you answer to give your criteria and it narrows it down to the matches and to you see a photo of the people? What things can you ask for? Are you on prognova? I'm on 3x tablets a day and 1 patch every 3 days. Is that what you'll be starting now? 
Really glad Ralph had a great birthday too, sounds like you had a lovely weekend. 
Fab, thanks for that. I thought I'd have a look at what's around (never dined in Northampton either) but just wanted to check with everyone what people liked, or if any veggies or anything like that. Yay! So excited to meet you lovely ladies.

*Poppy*!!  OMG! I was peeing myself reading that! That's a great technique . Have you done today/tonight gestone? How was it? Lol, throwing a dart. I think you could write a book on this stuff you know . 
I think that's the progesterone you know.... I remember being a beast on the 2ww. I would actually be eating something and thinking of what my next meal would be, at the same time. You know when your appetite increases before AF arrives, that's the increase of progesterone and then when AF arrives and after your appetite goes back to normal. This so fascinating to me....so you have a pic of your donor, did you pick a fitty??&#128540; that would make me sooooo happy if we could all be bu,ps and babies in 2015.....come on Walnut Whippers, class of 2014 & 2015 . 
Thank fully ive had 2 decent nights sleep and caught up but I'll probably be starting those lovely steroids next week but will have my scan on Thursday and that will be a good guide as yo next step. My scan before the scratch was healthy, which is great. 
So dreading the steroids (5 tablets a day, I'm never going to sleep!).

*Chixy*, 4 miles is only 1hr when walking at a rate of 4mph (1 mile every 15 mins), which is pretty easy at the moment because I go through a field where there's these really cute bouncing lambs but their mums are so flipping scary, 1 keeps following me to the gate, scares the crap out of me . Did 2 laps today (8 miles, yay) but when have embies on board I'll take it more easy. But making the most of it at the moment.

*Jules*, how was your first day?? Been thinking of you, can't wait to hear all about it! Lol, I had to laugh too about the 2ww thread and chicken run comment , you do crack me up!

Thinking of you all ladies, I hope your all keeping.

AFM, so I've been trying to think of what the issue is with why I'm a poor responder. The clinic not understanding why I can't get those eggs? So even before ivf, I think my body has the eggs there but don't quite develop fully and release. Both ivf cycle this seems to be the difficulty. So the first half of a cycle your pituitary gland and the hyperthalamus controlling the hormones and then it's down to your ovaries to produce the correct level of hormones. I reckon i get the first bit but my ovaries don't do the rest? Has anyone heard of this before? Think I'm going to ask the consultant on Thursday when I go for my scan.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## poppy05

Bexter its hilarious, dw came in and said 'come on babe get yr tits out' and handed me 2 vials of gestone!!!      yes tonights was fine, it stung very slightly tonight, but wasnt painful, i was just aware of it.
We chose our donor before we saw his pic, we put in ethnicity, eye and hair colour, blood group, cmv status etc, and it gave me 2 choices, i thought there would be hundreds!! anyway one choice had already done his donation quota for the uk, so we were left with only 1, so we went with him, his medical history was great, and he is half italian!! gotta be a fitty!!   
dw downloaded the profile, and i couldnt bring myself to look, i never wanted a third party involved in this, for me the sperm was another bit of medicine i needed, but dw wanted to see him, so she looked and said 'omg he looks like your brother'!! so of course i had to look, and yes he does resemble my brother, there used to be a kids tv prog called the wonder years? google it if you dont remember it, he looks like the main character kevin, when he was a kid, and now he just looks like an italian/american student, dark hair, big brown eyes, med build, he had a happy face if you know what i mean? at least i know my children will resemble my family even if he/she doesnt really look like me, xx


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## Bexter83

Hey *Lottie*, missed you on here chicky, know you've been really busy though. Lol , I hope your dog wasn't sleeping at the time you were painting, hehe. I bet your place is looking fab. Do you have much more to do in the house? How's the baby purchasing going? I remember my friend not finding out the sex, which I think is seriously lovely but lol, I rememeber making her and buying her a little parcel of goodies and made it so hard to get her stuff. I made her this bunny toy (it looked a bit naff actuall, lol) but as soon as I found out it was a boy, I was rushing trying to sew on blue letters for his name. 
How are you feeling about the work situation? Must feel quite good deciding to take redundancy and feel like you've taken control. Hope you get a good redundancy package.
Cool, I'll look at what's about in Northampton centre this week and we can get something booked up. Yep and we can be travel buddies .

*Poppy* , oh boy! I love it, so funny . Sounds like you've got an awesome system going. Weird isn't it though that you can have the same jab and some days you feel it and some days it's stingy. 2 more sleeps&#128515;&#128515;&#128515; I'm sooooo excited for you! Great you'lol have your mumma with you tomorrow for your intrapilids too. It's good to have all these things which was probably a bit nervous about before ET. Just means you can relax and know what to expect and feel relaxed. I can get a bit nervous and work myself up over something because it's the unknown and then I'm like, oh was that it!? Lol. So do you have much planned for your couple of weeks off? 
Omg yeah I remember the wonder years!!! Just had to google Kevin and I really remember him now. Actually I can see the resembalence (can't spell that one, haha) of you a bit in Kevin. Your twinnies are going to be little hotties&#128540;. I totally know what you mean and would see it like that too. It's another medicine to make it work. I'm so excited for you!!

*Hopeful*, how have you been? Did you look into councilling? Hope you and the DH are keeping well. Thinking of you .

To all the other ladies, hey!!  

Ok, so I started looking into the hormone messaging system last night. I give up, the pituitary gland and ovaries are literatly redundant in passing on messages and making hormones.....damn reproductive system!!  I give up, lol. Maybe I just need to leave it up to the professionals . Let's just hope that these are the ones  .

Xxxxx


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## K.Notman

Morning all! I'm still beaming from yesterday's good news. It's made me feel really good and Spring being the time of new life and new beginnings, I'm feeling positive and hopeful. It has of course put the emphasis back onto DH to get his daily routines of supplements and exercise. He admitted that himself though so I think I've made progress there! We had a good evening together, he cooked a meal and we snuggled up watching a movie (after a hectic weekend it was good to unwind together).

*Bexter*- Yup just leave it to the professionals. You don't want to buzz that brain of yours and go Google mad. It's good to find out on here how treatment varies from clinic to clinic and what questions we can ask our consultants to make sure we are doing everything we can but then we really do have to trust that they do this every day and they want this to work too so let's go with the flow! I'm sure you're in capable hands. I'm staying on HRT until we finalise a match (1mg oestrogen daily). We found out from all the trials I did last year, my body responds best to a short high burst of hormones just before transfer. So I'll wait until the donor lady is ready for her protocol and then I'll do 3 weeks of 12mg tablets a day. The week of ET I'll start on the prognova twice a day (I think that's what I did last time) and then the pessaries after ET. All this depends on how the donor reacts to her tx and how her follies grow and how many eggies she produces. She will have 5 or 6 and I'll have 5 or 6 so I'm going to be sending follie-dances her way and praying for a good crop of eggs. I don't want to think about all that yet though but the nurse said that they keep me well informed with her scans to see how it's progressing. I'll be all twitchy waiting for the phone to ring! 

The procedure for the donor is to fill in a donor profile questionnaire which is quite vague but can include their level of education, hobbies/interests and of course medical history. They actually write a bit to be given to the child at a time when we think appropriate (although some parents don't tell the offspring- this is heavily debated on the donor forum). I don't think they have photographs. Our Nurse oversees the whole donor tx at Birmingham Women's so she gets a feel for all the couples donating and receiving and I have full faith in her ability to match couples. Anyway, I left it open to her as I don't want to be picky and then have to wait ages. I just asked for someone who looks after themselves/quite active and who might be successful e.g. if they are young or have had children before so proved that they have no problems. So we'll see what turns up in the next three months- SO EXCITED! 

*Poppy*- Thanks for sharing your experience of getting a donor. I know there is a lot more choice when going private and it sounds like it was organised really well. I'm sure your little ones will have resemblances of you. There was a thread http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=331958.0 that talks about how donor children are like their non-biological parents and it's very reassuring. I was gutted when it didn't work with my sister's eggs as I thought that was the only attempt we had at getting a bit of me in their but this has given me hope. Such a shame you don't have a bath! I don't use ours very much dot do love it when I give myself some TLC pampering time. As you are going to be off on your 2ww and this covers the 14th- have you reconsidered if you can join us in Northampton? Could you get a train and give yourself a day trip? It would be so good to see you and send you all of our positive thoughts in person.  

*Lottie*- it's so lovely of you to offer your eggs (hypothetically!) and I'd have no problem with a blond loud mouth, lol! Thanks for your support. I hope your painting hasn't been too strenuous for you but has given you satisfaction. Keeping my fingers crossed for your redundancy package. 

*Jules*- How is the new job going? I hope the commute is working out. How is the healthy eating going, hopefully your efforts will start showing on the scales soon. Thinking of you.

Chixy- How are the jabs going?

Have a good day everyone.
Love Kirstie


----------



## BeckyA

Whippers! How are we doing? Sorry been awol, just needed a bit of break from all things fertility, just to get my head round things, hope you understand.

Anyway, loads of things have happened to you lot since!

Eeek *poppy*, only 2 more sleeps til transfer! Good luck with the intrapalids tomorrow, hope they go ok, good that your mummy is coming to look after you!

Yey for good news *kirstie*! Exciting times, really hope you get a call soon and you and jules can bring up the rear together!

Hope your first coupla days at new job went ok *jules*!

Yay for af coming early *bexster*, hope you were pleased by that, not long now til you get your frosties back where they belong.

*chixy*, how is your dr coming along?

Hello to *lottie*, *kazza*, *hopeful*, *tricia*, and anyone else i have forgotten.

Mega jealous of your 14th march meet up.  I'd be there in a flash but,
A) its a bit far, and
B) its my first wedding anniversary! So DH and I are off to do some nice romantic things together that weekend!

*AFM*, been back on the juice and had a horrendous hangover this weekend 
Am too old for this!


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## jules418

Hi ladies 

Fab news kirstie I am so pleased for you and will be totally fab if we are cycling together again Yay.

Bexter... Step away from Google now you will send yourself crazy... You can do no more than what you are doing eating healthy and being active so don't wind yourself up by thinking you could do more. Easier said than done I know.  

Becky totally understand and know we are here for you as and when you need/want us.  Boo for hangover Yay for wine ha ha we shall make sure we have something to celebrate in Northampton xxx

Poppy hope your Intralipids go ok I am sure you will be fine 
Chixy how is your Dr going have you noticed any swelling. I got swelling and fits of laughter lol 

Afm, job is going well looks like I'm going to be busy and I can't wait. The commute is good I am walking to the train station so that is 2 miles a day not mega amount but better than non.  I leave at 8 and get home between 6.30 and 7 depending if I can get the 6.07 home or not. 
Also lost 2.5lb this week Yay well chuffed new start indeed.


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## poppy05

Evening ladies


Kirstie, im still smiling from ear to ear for you!!   
I wrote a letter to my recipients possible future baby/babies, i sat for hours with a blank page and all of a sudden i just wrote 4 pages worth! i wrote of my hobbies and what i liked disliked as a child, food likes and dislikes, places i like to go, things i like to do and see, i tried to think of stuff i would like to know if i was a donor conceived person, i do know my recipient got pg from that cycle, i pray she went on to give birth to a healthy baby, it feels good to have helped someone, i remember being with the nurse just before ec and i burst into tears because i wanted to wish my recipient good luck, she did say she wouldnpass on my message, i hope she did.
Thankyou for mentioning coming on the 14th, but i think my otd will be around then? and its just to far to travel alone, dw prob wouldnt let me anyway, i'd so love to meet you all, but im going to have to decline this one, hopefully the next one will be more doable, why cant we all live close!! 


BeckyA lovely to see you posting babe, def understand you needing a break away from here, i often take myself off for a few days, it can all get a bit much sometimes, but im glad you are ok   


Bexter, stop googling!! i think the whole hormone thing can just get far too complex, my hormones are a bif iffy, and i know i dont ovulate every month, i get ovulation pain though, as i have got now, and i seem to make a wonderfully thick lining, but it still baffles me, i was told on a natural fet, i trigger when i get my surge, well ive got no lead follicle so wont get a surge, ive been given some meds and booked in for et!!! it all feels a bit blase, but i guess they do this every single day so who am i to argue, i just turn up and open my legs!!!   


Hey Lottie, good to hear from you, so have you started on the babies nursery? omg its so exciting that your buying stuff   


Tricia hows you babes? are you feeling better now you are off the meds?   


Kazza i saw your post on ** eeeeek so exciting   


hopeful, thinking of you hunni, hope you're ok   


chixy you ok chick? hows it all going? any side effects yet?   


jules hope day 2 was a good one, so it sounds like you will be cycling a year on from the last one? least you can have a fab summer, and the time will go so fast, it'll be august before you know it,   


AFM, im officially off work now for a lovely 15 days!!! 
my intralipids are sat in a box in the kitchen all ready for tomorrow, theres cake in the cupboard for mummy and the nurse, the fur babies have been packed off to granny and grandads, just one more little thing to do............. go get my babies!!!!!! omg im soooooooo excited, ive had a bit of a wobble today, its all so stressful isnt it!
Elsa and Olaf mummy's are coming for you in 2 sleeps!!!! 
ooooooooooh almost pupo! xx


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## BeckyA

Quick one as forgot to add it before. Some of you earlier were talking about giving up acupunture for next cycle. Have never done this, but wanted to say if you were looking for an alternative, i used a free hypnotherapy album on spotify for my last cycle by an australian hypnotherapist called bree taylor molyneaux. It certainly did help to calm me down at times. I would attach a screenshot from my spotify, but the file is too large apparently.   

B.
X


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## tricia1012

Morning ladies 

Kirstie - so so happy for your news  I know you had got your head round waiting a bit longer but it's fab news you can try again a bit sooner xx

Jules - I'm so glad your new job is going well  and well done you for the weight loss 👏👏 I walk loads on my commute to work it def helps keep my chocolate weight off lol xx

Poppy - all systems go for you hope the intralipids go well today honestly it's nothing to worry about but lovely that you will have mommy cuddles  xx

Becky - nice to see you back on here hope your ok   Xx

Kazza - congrats on being team blue  xx

Lottie , Chixy , Bexter and everyone I may have missed hope your all doing well xx

Sorry I've not been on much hubby has been keeping me busy looking after him bless him it's going to be a slow recovery , nursery  DIY is going to have to wait  . Had my scan yday both babies doing well but I'll def be having c section one placenta is really low so I can't deliver naturally might be a blessing in disguise lol I've turned into a bit if a woss lol .

Hope you all have a lovely day catch up properly soon  xx


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## Bexter83

Hello you lovely lot 

*Kirstie*, I'm still very excited for you!! And I saw the little lambs today and thought of you. Great that the DH has admitted to slipping on the plan (it's easily done) but knowing it could all soon be starting, it's great to get back on the band wagon and stick onto the plan. Your cosy night in sounded lovely too. 
Yep you are right, I've stepped away from Google, lol . That's good that you've found what works for you to get that lining nice and thick. Yep so at the mo I'm on 6mg prog tabs abd 1x patches every 3 days. 
I'll be doing lots of Follie growing dances for your doner too. Yep good thinking that youve picked someone nice and young with history of pregnancy. I'm sure this will be your time. Your going to make a wonderful mum.

*Becky* hunny, don't feel bad, it's a weird time abd need a break and escape from it all sometimes but lovely to see you back. You been ok though? Oh gosh your hangover sounded nasty....ouch! What!?! I can't believe your not getting on the plane for the 14th, hehe. I'm sure one of us can have a Rioja for you&#128540;. Thanks for the meditation tip, Ill check it out, although I'm not very good at meditating and relaxing, lol Jules & I had this convo before and find that it just seems to bring on uncontrollable gas and holding it in isnt v relaxing or someone telling you to relax just makes you want to punch them in the face, either one, doesn't make you friends at yoga classes.

*Jules*!!! So glad your new job is going well&#127942;, so pleased for you! And double thumbs&#128077;&#128077; for the lbs you've lost this week too. When's your next weigh in?

*Poppy*, glad your intrapilids went well in the end, maybe warming your wrists up under your boobies begore hand would work for next time, hehe. Super excited for you for tomorrow!! Thinking of you xxx

*Tricia*, awww bless you love, it's been a crazy time for you. wishing your hubby a speedy recovery. Your no word at all! Don't worry, at least yo know what to expect and great to know the day it will be too. Your going to be fine hun xxxx
2 and a bit weeks and it's the move. Can't believe we'll only be 5 mins from each other. Always welcome to pop in for tea & cake anytime .

*Kazza*, huge congrats on your bundle of joy being a boy too. I said it would be. So exciting!

Hello to everyone else.

AFM, so I have just found out that horses either don't like or get v excited over estrogen patches!! And I didn't stick around to find out which one, so I legged it to the gate. These 2 horses have never had a problem with me before but mark said they can detect the hormones. I was crapping myself! 
Jules I think I know what your talking about with the buserelin and the fits of laughter. I keep getting weirdly and v easily happy, like I've take something......weird.


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## poppy05

Evening girlies


Thankyou for the texts you have sent me to day, means alot,   


So quick post just to let you all know, that finally after 5 veins collapsing and a chemotherapy nurse having to be called out to me, ive finally had my first intralipid infusion!!!!!    what a total nightmare, but we got there in the end.
I had a call today and my ET is scheduled for 2.20 tomorrow!    i am so so sooooooooooo nervous for the big defrost, omg i feel sick, i just want this one last chance to try and become a mummy, and i will be devestated if they dont survive the thaw    i know each step of fertility treatment comes with its own little milestones and worries, and i know once im pupo i will move on to the next hurdle, but i like to think that once i know Elsa and Olaf have made it i will have my pma back.
Ive rubbed my womb this afternoon and told it to prepare for twins entering it, and not to spit them out this time!!! 
OMG girls this is it, my 5th and last ET!!!


----------



## Bexter83

Sending you all the hugs, positive vibes, prayers everything for you right now and am so excited for you to be reunited with your snow babies tomorrow xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Hey ladies just popping in to wish u all massive luck with ur cycles. I am going to read up in a coupla days and catch up with u all. I am booked in for my d and c  tomorrow morning.

Hope u are all well.

Miss ya all but need some time xxxxx


----------



## poppy05

big hugs hopeful    be thinking of you tomorrow darling xx


----------



## hopeful1985

Thinking of u tomorrow Poppy. Giving u all my positive thoughts. Xxx


----------



## poppy05

Thankyou sweet, we can hold eachothers hand telepathically


----------



## Bexter83

Sorry your having to go through this *Hopeful* , I hope goes well tomorrow,thinking of you xxxx


----------



## jules418

Well hello ladies what  chatty lot we have been. I miss my f5-ing days haa haa. 

Hopeful - massive hugs and cuddles for you tomorrow. We are here for you when you need us hunni but totally understand you wanting to stay away too. Have you thought any more about counselling. I didn't feel I really needed it but actually it was a huge help as I was starting to blame myself. She made me realise that it is not my fault and other stuff which I hadn't even realised I was doing. 

Poppy - whoop whoop legs akimbo for 10 mins lucky you lol will also be thinking of you tomorrow afternoon and sending you sticky relaxing vibes. Boo for not getting your veins today though but glad all went ok in the end, what was it like? Did you mom look after you?

BeckyA - thanks for that tip. I have downloaded it to spotify and will give it a go in the hotel tomorrow night  Yes I know how to live it up in the Big Smoke lol. 

Kirstie - like the others have said still smiling for your news - I have a work laptop now so can write more lol but I swear I was so chuffed I nearly peed my pants!!!! Good on Ralph too for admitting he hasn't been following it and now he can as you say it is a massive things for him to adapt to change. Fab that we may be cycle buddies too. I hope so.... 

Tricia - Lovely to see you on here - you must be super busy and glad you are being kind nurse to Mr T  will he have to for physio etc. sounds like it was a really nasty incident and hope he is ok psychologically too as we all know these men hide how they feel. 

Kazza - Congrats of your news too how exciting..

Lottie - have you caved in to temptation of finding out? I know it is hard but would you have every thing in blue or pink anyway? this way you can have load of neutral colours and will cover same sex or one of each. plus friends and family can get you lots of lovely items when they are born and they will grow out of things soooo quick. 
I can't wait for Bob to tell me what we have (she says now I bet I cave in haa haa)) 

Chixy - hope you are ok and are coping with DR ok. 

Bexter - hope you are coming away from Google I know you said you had but hmmm not convinced lol. Next weigh in is Tuesday that is fat club night hee hee. I would love another 2.5 this week so need to behave in London.


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## Bexter83

Just wanted to wish *Poppy* all the best today and *Hopeful*, I hope today goes well. Thinking of you girls xxx

*Jules*, really pleased all your hard work is paying off and hope next Tuesday's weigh in is successful too  .

*Poppy*, hurry up and be PUPO! I want to keep all the positivity up xxxx


----------



## poppy05

girls im in bits here!!!!! im soooooo nervous
we have just left to go and collect Elsa and Olaf! oh sh** i made myself cry typing that!!!  
ive not heard anything so i can only assume they have thawed and are waiting with their little coats on for mummies to collect them!

next time i speak to you i will be pupo!!!

oh heck im bawling here i better go, my make up will run!!


----------



## BeckyA

*poppy*, i hope everything is going smoothly!

*hopeful*, sorry to hear you have to go thru that. Sending you hugs.


----------



## K.Notman

Poppy- It sounds like you provided your donor recipient with lots of information.  I’m really excited to hear about what mine will be like.  As we are all under the same clinic, I’m wondering if I’ll have seen them in the waiting room?? I’ll be thinking of you this afternoon.  Do you get a photo of the transfer?  Do they re-grade the embryos after thawing or is that it now- in they go? I hope you have lots of nice things planned for the next few days to keep your spirits up.  Laughter is good medicine so get watching some comedy shows!  

Jules- I hope the London trip goes well and that you can be strict on yourself for healthy eating- do you get to use the hotel gym/pool?

Hopeful- My prayers are with you today and I hope you have a gentle recover (both body and mind).  

Bexter- that’s so funny with the horses!  I hope you only have good side effects with your hormones, the giggles sound fun!  It’s so lovely of you to say I’ll be a good Mum.  I think we all will be as we have shown such love to get this far.  We will all cherish our little treasures.  

Tricia- How is Mr T doing?  I hope you are both keeping well and at least planning the nursery in your head/ internet-window-shopping .  I suppose it’s good knowing this early that you’ll need a c-section rather than having an emergency one sprung on you.

Becky- How are you today hun?  Ticking on nicely I hope and enjoying the freedom to eat, drink and do what you want!

Hello all the lurkers.
AFM, Thank you so much for all of the supportive comments regarding my reduced waiting time for donor eggs.  We are such a great little family and I feel blessed to have you alongside me on this mammoth journey.    

So my DH’s ‘healthy routines laminated chart’ is back on the fridge!  He has his 7-day-pill box ready with all his supplements (bring on the bright yellow pee from the Vitamin B!).  I’ve put up weight-loss charts for us both on the fridge too and marked our mini-goals of 7lb losses and the different BMI targets.  He uses his iPhone pedometer for counting km walked in a day.  With his new promotion job he walks a lot and I’m hoping we see this reflect on the scales.  We’ve booked into the local sports centre to do badminton and swimming on Friday afternoon’s so I’m really holding his hand through all of this.  The rest now is up to him.  I know the sperm used at fertilisation is what the body produces three months previously so he really does need to knuckle down and focus on top grade baby making juices!     lol

Kirstie


----------



## poppy05

hi girls


Well im back, and im pupo with my beautiful elsa and olaf!!!   
ET went well, my actual consultant did it, she also did my EC, so it felt very right, plus being 2 mummies it felt right having a lady make me pregnant!   


So the technical bit- yes kirstie they are re graded, mine were 5AA and 5B
one embie is hatching, and is (in embryologists words) a beautiful perfect blastocyst, it thawed 100% and is no different from the day it was frozen.
2nd embie, was totally hatched at freezing, therefore is a bit weaker, it thawed 40-50%, the embryologist said she wouldnt like to say, but she wasnt too hopeful, she did say however, that once inside me it might perk up, and that it wont effect the other one or reduce success rates, so im a happy mummy!!


Its been a very emotional day, ive cried non stop, feel emotional because im pupo, and because this is it, i know theres n more chances now, ive had some beautiful texts with such lovely words, i appreciate all the support you girls have showed me, now the last bit, you gotta get me through the 2ww!!!!


Its not actually a 2ww, unbelievably my otd is on mothers day!!!! im taking it as a sign   


Im off to cross my legs!!!!


----------



## Kazza79

Hi all 

Poppy- very exciting your PUPO   I'm so pleased all went well and there are where they should be now so will be settling into there new home   
Try and relax hun and look after yourself, all will be good xxxx

Hello to everyone else I will come on tomorrow when I have more time xxxx


----------



## BeckyA

Great news *poppy*, hope you are feeling ok this morning! X


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## K.Notman

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Poppy is PUPO!         
(Good to see Kazza about too!)


----------



## Chixy

Wow, so much has happened since i last managed to sit down and type on here. Fantastic news* Poppy* on being PUPO.  Chuffed to bits for you and I am sending you a special dance to encourages those beautiful babies to stick around        

Tricia - Hope the hubby is recovering and can soon spoil you. 

Kirstie - Like everyone else here I am so happy to hear that your wait for a donor is much shorter.   Your news has made my week!!

Jules - I hope you have had the best week ever. I notice you have ventured to London - did you have to go there for some training with your new job? hope you had fun   (and no one was sick over you on the train!!)

Hopeful - hope you are ok and so lovely to see you on here.

Bexter - your hormone stories of sheep and horses following have made me smile  Hope you are ok and you will soon be next in being PUPO!!

Hello and hope all is well with Becky, Kazza, Lottie and anyone else that I may have missed (apologise)

AFM - still down regulating and feeling very tired with it. Got a friends birthday party to enjoy on Saturdy and then plan to enjoy getting out and about with the dog (as well as the usual boring stuff of house work and cleaning the car zzz)

love to all

Chixy xxx


----------



## Bexter83

Hi ladies,

*Poppy*! Congrats on being PUPO!!! So happy for you and still get so excited like a kid when I think about it. Sorry your gestones have been increased to daily jabs now but your throwing everything at it and it's all for the greater good. Xxxx how you feeling today?

*Chixy*, shoukdnt be long til you start stimming now....exciting!!!

Ok, apologies for the lack of personals, I've not long returned from a 9 hour day at a car garage £600 lighter!! We have to build up a case over the weekend and look into the warranty and dealership over the weekend (crap I don't need right now tbh, with the move the following week, applying for a new job in new location and most importantly trying to become a mum,Mao Mark has been amazing and not letting me take on stress and handling lots) anyways, it's a second hand car purchased only 6 weeks ago but apart from the brakes which were kinda fixed today, there's a few probs which would be an additional £1500. So anyways, have not been happy or care free today at all!!
However, wonderful news from the clinic. Scan last night went amazing! The consultant got v excited about my beautiful lining/endometrium (whatever floats your boat , I take any compliment these days, haha) and said is perfect and showed me and was a really good looking lining by lining standards, lol. So it looks like ET will be next week. My app on mon Eve will decide what day. I also asked the consultant if it were the Buserelin which suddenly gives you a v happy, high feeling and he said it's the Estrogen and lots of women ask to stay on them apparently. Mark's asked for my left over patches to take to the festivals in the summer but I think they might give him boobies, hehe.

Apologies for the lack of personals again, crazy day! 
Love to all xxxxxxxx


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## poppy05

Evening girls


Bexter woooo hoooooooo!!!!! cant wait for you to join me next week, its so exciting, im so happy things have gone to plan, roll on mon to find out the day!!   


Chixy, hope you enjoy the party tomorrow hunni, not long now and you will be stimming, and we'll be doing follie dances for you   


Hopeful, i was thinking of you yesterday    i hope the procedure was as ok as it possibly could be, and i hope you are feeling ok today, sending hugs darling   


kirstie, hahahaha @ baby making juices!!!    its lovely to read you are both able to focus on tx again, and so much sooner than you thought, hopefully you will get that call very soon    


Tricia, hope mr t is ok?   


Lottie the pics of those cakes today!!!! mmmmmmmm yum yum yum   


jules, hows the new job babe?   


BeckyA hows you my lovely?   


Kazza hope you are ok hunni   


Hello to anyone else reading   


AFM, well day 1 has been ok, ive had a pj day today, MIL came for lunch, dw gave me a foot massage, and ive caught up with my programmes   
Ive had no side effects of et which is good, i do have some mild low down twinges, but ive had those for about 6 days, so i know its the cyclogest, im not sitting here waiting for something to happen, im really going to try not to look for symptoms this time, i just want to get through the next 9 days and actually enjoy being home and remain stress free, like i said to dw today, im pregnant now, i dont need to worry, until a pee stick says im not then i am!!! 
Hoping for a nice weekend weather wise, dw is going to get the garden tidied up a bit so we can get our plants in next month, i will potter about, make the tea, lunch, hold bags open etc, then sunday if its dry we might go for a wonder along the seafront, as i said to dw 'the babies want hot doughnuts'!!!!!   


Have a lovely weekend all, Elsa and Olaf say hi to their ff aunties!


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## Bexter83

Hehe I love that *Poppy*!! Elsa & Olafs F&F aunties . Exactly Pops, I'm going in with the same attitude. When I'm PUPO, I'm thinking I'm pregnant for the 14 days and then will be praying so much that I see thise 2 lines or a cross (whatever it is). Your weekend sounds lovely! Do you live by the coast? How are the steroids now? Hope the effects have calmed down and your sleeping better .
I'm so excited for Monday's scan so I can find out when exactly ET is . Am feeling less stressed since I picked mark up from the station late last night, he's made me feel better about the car. I'm doing the oven clean, all windows, major clean on mon/tues and wrapping & packing heavy items in the boxes all before ET and just not going to allow any stress get to me when once transfers been done. 
Oh btw, I've titally git rid of my fear of needles, no cream and doing them myself now too.

*Chixy*, hope you enjoy the party tonight  and your lovely walk its the dog. Hope your keeping well.

*Kirstie*, hope the DH plan is going well. Such a fab idea on the laminate plan/chart on the fridge. All your sport activities sound so much fun too. I reckon you guys will be feeling tip top v soon and have healthy love juice too, hehe. Is the DH on the maca?

How is everyone doing? Lots of love girls xxx


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## poppy05

Hey Bex
the steroid side effects seem to have calmed down, im sleeping every night now, still not a full night, i do wake up once or twice but its so much better than it was, so when you start yours if you get the insomnia, i only had it bad for a week
so glad to hear your ok with needles now, ivf has totally got me over my fear, dont even mind blood tests now
needles are a sore subject at mo, jesus my backside hurts!!!   ive got the biggest lump on one side, cant believe how painful these get, im glad they dont hurt going in, oh well my babies need them!
2 sleeps babes and you will know when your snow babies are coming home to mummy   when is moving day? xxx


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## Lottie1802

Hey Bexter! Apart from the car which sounds like a pain! The scan sounds brill! Super excited for you! Roll on being pupo for you   

Poppy glad to hear your chilling out and enjoying yourself! Oh and cake was amazing!!! Sorry about the million posts I was a little excited ha ha 

Kazza lovely to see you! And chixy  

AFM no exciting updates! Apart from my afternoon tea and decorating but I bore most of you on ******** with all that ha ha I have a scan next friday so im V excited about that. Most importantly its just so nice to be making progress with our house at last, spare room is finished and hallway has started! Woohoo


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## Bexter83

Morning girlies,

How are we all?

*Poppy*, How are Elsa & Olaf doing? Hope your having a lovely weekend. So glad your sleeping better on the steroids now. I wonder if it's something the body adjusts to? I hope this is the case with me too. Oh gosh! How's the butt today? Has the lump gone down? So it's not do much the jan which hurts, it's after? How quickly does the soreness/effect of the jabbed area take to go down to jab near there again? I mean when you run out of area and need to go back to an area already jabbed. 
I cannot wait!!obviously have that dreaded wait to hopefully not get bad news from the embryologist but I want yo be PUPO now!! Moving day is either 20th or 21st. Xxx

*Lottie*, lots of progress on your house, that's fab hun . When do you find out about your redundancy? I'm ok thanks, had been feeling so stressed but think things will all fall into place.

Xxxx


----------



## poppy05

Morning Bex
I haven't run out of jab room yet, my lumps still hurt but i guess it takes 3-4 days to be less noticeable, its weird cos you just do them and kinda dont care about the pain, i think when you get to this point you would do anything, im living off adrenalin at the moment!! 

Day 3 in the big muvver house, and im bored of waiting!!! im not wanting to pee on sticks yet, but ive got permanent butterflies in my tummy, ive knicker checked a few times, dunno why, af not even due yet!!  
We are being positive though, dw talks to elsa & olaf, and every morning we play them their song into my tummy (Aretha Franklin, I say a little prayer for you) it must release some happy endorphins cos i sing my head off and have a little boogie, that can only be a good thing right?  
God this kid has got a pair of crazy ar*e mummies!!!  

Im off shopping in a bit, then taking dogs out for a nice walk
Happy sunday lovelies xxx


----------



## Bexter83

Patience Grasshopper! Do not even think about testing early . Your doing fab! 
Hehe that's cute! Love that and def good to release those happy hormones . I'm going rub my belly every morning & every night when Im PUPO and say a little prayer that this is both our time. 
Know what you mean, Thank god for adrenalin . Well done though chick, your v brave. Xxx


----------



## BeckyA

Whippers! Hope you have all had a lovely weekend.

*poppy*, hope you are doing ok, step away from the pee sticks! DH brought it to my attention that last thursday was a full moon, which is good for fertility, so that is another positive thing for you!

*bexster*, hoping you get good news and get they go ahead tomorrow! 

My ipad is about to die, so gonna say bye!

Xx


----------



## Bexter83

Morning lovely ladies,

Hey *Becky*, how have you been? Xxx

*Poppy*, how you doing? Did you get much of your gardening done? 

How is everyone?

*Chixy*, how are you? thanks for the restaurants you looked at, they look fab! Am so looking forward to Saturday . I'll forward the options over to Lottie and I like the look of both, so if anyone likes the look of one more than the other, let me know and I'll book us a table .

AFM, I'm so excited about tonight's scan to find out when ET will be.


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## K.Notman

Morning Whipper! I hope you had a lovely weekend.

*Bexter*- I'm looking forward to Saturday too. Chixy has very kindly offered to drive me & Jules so I'm happy to be put in the car and taken anywhere- Road Trip! I'm really glad you excited your consultant with your amazing endometrium! I'm excited for your scan tonight too, I hope they have good news. How are your meds all going? DH is starting the maca today as part of his supplement routine. The healthy routines sound so good in theory but he has yet to convince me that he is committed to doing this. His chart has not been looking good lately and I don't want to nag and go on at him as it has to come from him- I'm just here for support. I find it so frustrating though as he is tucking into his chocolate hot cross bun!  (I gave up chocolate for lent too grrrr!  ). Did you get your car stuff sorted?

*BeckyA*- How are you doing? I hope you are recovering well and taking each day at a time with lots of precious people around you for support. Have you got any nice things on the horizon to look forward to?

*Poppy*- How is 'Day 4 in the big muvver house? (love it!) I love your routine of singing and all those positive vibes can only do good. I hope the jabbing is ok and your 'butt lumps' aren't too uncomfortable (oh the phrases we come out with!). I hope you enjoyed you doggie walking and gardening. It's really good to keep moving in the 2ww so keep it up. I hope your Mary Berry backing session puts a smile on your face too, ummmmmmmmm.

*Lottie*- Great news to hear of the progress at your house, very positive and uplifting to see things the way you want them. See you soon!

*Chixy*- looking forward to Saturday, thanks again for being designated driver! Did you enjoy your friend's party on Saturday? I hope you enjoyed your walking too and weren't too tired from your DR. Have a good week. Take it easy.

*Jules*- Have you recovered from London? I bet your weeks are so different now compared to your old job. I'm really glad it's given you something to put your energy into. Good luck at Fat club tomorrow too, fingers crossed for another loss. See you soon.

Hi all other Whippers out there.

AFM, Had a lovely weekend sending time with family and friends. Got some house work done (always makes me feel better when I sit down after and the place is tidy for a change!). I dug out my slow-cooker so am looking forward to 'coq-au-vin' tonight and I'm salivating at the thought! Need to make myself go for 5km jog first and that is my reward when I get in! Not much else to report so have a good week all. Love Kirst


----------



## Bexter83

Hi *Kirstie*, your weekend sounded lovely . Hmmm Coq au vin  Go chef Kirstie . We're using bits up from the freezer, cupboards to get rid of bits before we move. I love it because it means my weekly shopping is soooo cheap and is always funny trying to make up the strangest concoctions for dinners. Reminds me of that advert " courgette frittata ". 
Aww bless you, I can see why you get frustrated. You know he's not doing it on purpose, sometimes it's just that some people don't have as much knowledge on foods and may not see that it's having an impact, or sometimes they have less will power in it. I really hope he co operates a bit more, as as much as he wants this to be successful as much as you, it's sometimes about doing things to please the other person because it's important to them. You know how to work him, I'm sure you'll get him more on board and out of the bad habits ASAP. It's great that your both in this together and can encourage each other. Nothing harder than one person trying to be good and the other doesn't, makes meals time very difficult. 
That's great he'll be on the Maca soon and I also heard that tomatoes are great for love juice (he he I find that saying so funny ). 
Yay! Cool


----------



## poppy05

Hello girls


Bexter, good luck for your scan hunni    im very excited for you to be joining me on the 2ww! 


Kirstie, day 4 in the big muvva house, Danni is feeling meh!!!!!   
im ok, im just not feeling its worked, now i know this is normal, and tbh im not letting those thoughts get to me too much, i think we are all guilty of wanting morning sickness 24 hours after et!! and we all know thats not gonna happen! i know its too early for symptoms, and more than likely they wont even kick in until im around 8-10 weeks anyway, i just wish there was some little thing there to make you think 'ooh yes maybe i am' but for now, i just have to try and get through this time relatively stress free, im having a pj day today, ive only just got out of bed and had some lunch, this afternoon im going to tidy up, do some washing, and i think i might make some soup with the left over chicken from yesterday!    
love my slow cooker, i really dont use it enough, i never use it when we're at work, which is silly, i tend to do casseroles etc, but on days off, i should make the most of it and use it on work days!


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## Bexter83

Grrrrr, I pressed something and uploaded my message without finishing. Better than when I write my usual essays and they vanish . 
So I was saying yay to saturday! Whoop whoop . Ok will see if anyone has any preference over the 2 places Chixy found (they both look really nice ) and I'll book a table. 
Thank you , I'll update you ladies when I get home tonight after scan. Now after all this, he better say when ET will be! Ha ha. I suppose the main thing is,M&S long as it's all looking healthy, that's what I need to concentrate on rewlly, it's not a race. I think because it's almost been 2 months since EC, I'm just excited and ready. 
I'm living the Estrogen meds, think the Buserelin is making me a little tired but that's normal and it's not too bad. I found out that I don't trigger or anything (that's why I've been DR, so I won't ovulate). 
Been playing telephone tennis with the dealership company and now gone very quiet. Hmmmmm. The warranty we have isn't worth the paper it's written on (thankfully we didn't pay for that). So still sorting out at the moment but it was really stressing me out. At least I know the car is safe to drive now with the new brakes etc. however, just to top it off, I saw this morning that someone has scratched the side of it!!! It's not deep, so t cut should do the trick but the lovely finger prints on it where the person has obviously gone and checked out the lovely piece of work they did to it before they drive off! MOFOS!! Grrrrrr! trying to get all my 3 bad things out of the way before ET, so I can sit back and relax.

Xxxxx


----------



## tricia1012

Hello ladies , 

How is everyone ? 

Poppy - no negative thoughts mrs we all know easier said than done but it really is to early for any symptoms Hun ! I'm sure there snuggling In nice and cosy now enjoy that pj day that's an order  xx

Bexter - aww Hun you've got a lot going in with your car and the big move ! Things always work themselves out though so don't worry   Best of luck with your scan I can't wait until you pupo !! Xx

Kirstie - sounds like you had a nice weekend I haven't done housework in ages 🙈 def needs it lol . Enjoy your slow cooker everyone I know is using those nowadays ! I might need to invest in one  xx

Lottie - how's those bubbas , big scan for you this week enjoy every min xx

Jules - hope the new jobs still going well I read you went through euston the other day that's my commute every day  we may have passed eachother !! Xx

Chixy - how are you ? Xx

Hopeful - I know your taking a break from here but Incase your learning around I just wanted to send my love   Were all thinking  of you xx

Becky - how are you Hun ? Xx

Kazza - how's that lil boy doing  making you nice and big  xx


Hi to anyone I've missed xx

Afm : feeling well this week hubby seems to be on the mend at last still he's a ole do he's going to milk this as long as he can lol although bless him we had a call today that his mum had a heart attack and we can't visit as there norovirus there so no pregnant people allowed 🙈 honest it's one thing after another but even though it's a bit harsh best to keep the babies safe !! 

Am very jealous of your meet up this weekend hope you all have a lovely time and a good old gossip !! Xxx


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## jules418

Hey ladies 

It is so weird not replying 2 seconds after something has been written I guess this is what proper work entails ha ha 

Tricia - I am so sorry to hear about your MIL. How is she? I hope it wasn't too serious of an attack and she has a quick reviver. Good news that Mr T is also feeling brighter. Make sure you are getting some rest too xxx
Am in Euston tomorrow get in 9.15 leaving at 4.43 see you under the clock with a red carnation pmsl  

Kirstie - mmm love a bit of coq au vin. Love my show cooker it is a god send some times. Looking forward to seeing you on sat xx 

Chixy - thanks for diving hunni. Roadddddd tripping

Poppy - boo for feeling negative today let's hope all the bashings from the other whippers had done the job of turning that frown upside down lol but if not here are some more bashings    

BeckyA - how are you hun what have you been up to? Bit of rioja I hope xxx

Lottie - can't wait to meet you loving your doggy posts. How is work, do you know how much longer you have? 

Bexter - glad you are loving the estrogen have your boobs gone massive. Mine were so pert when I was on buserelin I felt like I was 16 again unfortunately I can now hold yellow pages under them again lol 

Lots of love 

Jules 
Xxx


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## jules418

P.s. BeckyA I tried that hypno thing on Spotify you suggested and listened for the 1st time today.  I am well chilled out and have both did sleeping on me right now (they usually go to bob)


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## Bexter83

Hey ladies,

*Poppy* your doing fab!! Stay strong & positive. Elsa & Olaf are getting cosy and snug as a bug in a rug in there.  xxx

Oh no *Tricia*, I'm so sorry to hear about your MILs heart attack. Is she ok? It really does seem like one thing after the other. So glad the DH is recovering well. I hope things calm down for you, you deserve a break from it all. Xxx
I'm so excited about ET (obviously dreading the thaw, as only 2 , day 1 frozen embies but hoping all U.S. ok).

Hope everyone is keeping well, thinking of you all. Xxx

AFM, So scan showed lining looking v good, which is fab! The clinic say my lining is thick and ready, so they are getting an ET date from the lister which will be about 7 days time or so, as I need to have enough days on progesterone & steroids before. So tomorrows call from the nurse will be when I find out. Well I've waited thus long, what's anither few days&#128553;&#128299; .


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## poppy05

Omg Tricia    im so sorry to hear about mil, you have certainly had some crap thrown at you during whats already a stressful time, i hope she is feeling better and will be home soon, thinking of you all   


Jules, thanks for the bashing love!!    ive needed that today, just a wobble,mi'll be ok tomorrow   


Bexter, Yeeee haaaaaaa!!!!!!!!! well done girlie, have you got your meds there ready to start? anything you need help with you know where i am    your babies are coming home!!!!   


AFM, ok im past caring about tmi posts now, we all know eachother well enough now without having to apologise, sooo here it comes...... ive been sooooooo horny today!!!!    what the eff is that all about? normally sex is the absolute last thing on my mind, but not today, i cant cope!!    im not doing it tho!!! no way not til im 12 weeks!!!   


i had a moment of thinking my embies were transferred to soon earlier, silly cow i am, i have n idea what makes me think these things!    im half way there though tomorrow! yay, although i dont want to test! 


Sending hugs to all


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## Bexter83

Hehe *jules*, your posts are always so funny!!  love em!
Hops you had a fab day at work today . Hope you enjoy your hypno thing on the train, you'll be so chilled out, you'll be walking the streets of London like Mr Soft . 
Lol , no not really, mine not so much like yellow pages, more like post it notes&#128516;. My boobs went twice the size when I was Stimming but not really had it on the DR. Ha ha speaking of boobies, Poppy has officially named my frosties, they are Pinky & Perky  and I told her that a friend of mine named her nipples that and she gave birth to her first baby just last week.....hoping its a sign.

Awww Rocky & Mavis are feeling your relaxed energy 
Xxxxx


----------



## Bexter83

*Poppy*! Lol!!! I wonder if it's the extra progesterone your on? 
Can't believe your already halfway through, it's gone so fast (well maybe not for you, unfortunately). So Mother's Day (Sunday obvs) is OTD. I'm so excited for you . So how's day 5 in the bug mutha house? Sounds like you have a nice day planned today with your mumma, so the day should go nice and fast, with lots of nice distractions. 
Stop thinking like that   , your lining was beautiful when you had the scan before ET. When's your next intrapilids? Tomorrow??
Awwww thanks hun , yep I'm ready, got all my meds ready&#128077;. I just want to have ET now, my lining was perfect last night, so a week, possibly longer, my lining could grow abnormal again....grrrr! I'm sure this us all normal.

*Hopeful*, hope your doing ok hun . Do you have a date for your review yet?

*Jules*, enjoy your magic carpet ride to work today, safe travels.

*Tricia*, big hugs for all your going through right now . Hope your mil gets better v soon. Is a shame about saturday but I hope you have a wonderful birthday and we will have to get another get together again soon too. Also we'll be neighbours soon (poor you, ha ha).

*Zana*, are you ok?

Hi Kirstie, Lottie, Becky, Kazza, hope your all well.


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## poppy05

Morning all

Bexter day 5 in the big muvva house is, erm well im not sure yet cos ive only just woke up!   but as Bon Jovi said 'WHOAAA we're halfway there'!!!!!! so that makes me happy, and yes i agree it has gone very fast!
i was told my next intralipid will be be around 6-7 weeks pg, once a heartbeats been detected, intralipid nurse confirmed this is the usual way too, the stuff lasts for around 3 weeks in yr system, so i'll be pushing for 6 weeks, im a bit scared if it waring off.
im still feeling fine, no symptoms, read loads in the pregnancy boards lastnight, ive never really gone on them, but theres loads of good stuff there, and loads of bfp's with zero symptoms, they say you copy your mums pregnancy dont they? well my mum had nothing at all with either pregnancy, she got hearburn around 16 weeks, and craved liquorice, that was it, she said she threw up once with me, but she ate 7 easter eggs!!!!   so i think im a but more relaxed today, what will be will be.
your lining will be fab, pinky n perky will be snug as bugs in there next week,   
spose i better go make breakfast and pop my pills!
chat later xxx


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## jules418

Hi ladies

Hope you are all ok. So funny the names you have.  Your friend naming her nips lol bob cals my boobs Phil and grant lol 

Any way just wanted to pop on day Hi and thinking of you all my signal keeps dropping on the train grrr is this 2015 or 1995 lol 

Speak later 

J xx


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## K.Notman

Morning all!
Jules, I hope you have a good day in ‘Landin’ tawn’! (attempt at cockney accent!) Your meditation thing sounded really good and I think I need that at times.

Poppy, perhaps you need to do some chill-out meditation too- Although Bon Jovi is a great alternative!  Have a good day with your Mum today.  I think it’s so easy to over think things all the time and your mood can swing in polar-opposites all the time so try to get distracted by positive things to keep you busy.  It’s a beautiful day today so enjoy the fresh air and say ‘Hi’ to Elsa & Olaf from all their FF aunties!

Bexter, Mine would be with post-it-notes too!  Don’t worry about your lining, I think once it’s good and healthy they can maintain it quite easily (I did whilst my sister was doing her EC).  I hope today’s call gives you good news and you’ll have an ET date soon so we can celebrate you being PUPO too.  I’m glad your car is safe now but what an annoyance to have it scratched grr!  I hope the T-cut works.  I love the ‘use up the food in the house concoctions!’ Unfortunately DH can be quite picky with food where as I have the student mentality of ‘if it’s edible, eat it’ and have eaten some very strange combos in the past when it’s the only food in the house’!

Tricia, so sorry about your MIL and I hope she has a speedy recovery.  I can understand you don’t want to take any chances going into hospital.  I’m glad DH is on the mend too.  You need some TLC for yourself at this rate having to be so strong to cope with everything else going on.

Have a good day everyone.

AFM, I made myself go for my run last night and the prize was my ‘coq-au-vin’ when I got in, ummmmmm that kept me going.  Unfortunately I left DH in charge of the rice whilst I had my shower and he went and forgot about it whilst watch Top Gear so I came downstairs to smoke and was like ‘errrr Ralph, what’s burning?’.  Oh well.  We did the supermarket shop last night and I picked up some Tuna Steaks for tea tonight and I’m not letting him ruin them!  I’m really trying to get fish 3 times a week now and have my 2lt water every day.  I have renewed focus now I know that I could be cycling again in the summer.  It makes such a difference to motivation.  I will of course have a treat day on Saturday “because I’m worth it” (and so are all of you) xXx

Kirstie


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## Lottie1802

Poppy! Nearly there young lady, im sending sticky vibes everyday so excited for otd  

Tricia , right thats it, I ban anymore bad things from happening!  But at least in the middle of all the madness your growing two healthy babies. I hope MIL is ok and sending you and hubby lots of love x

Bexter! Woohoo nearly ET ! At least you get to see my beautiful face to pass the time inbetween! Girly roadtrip yayyy

Jules I cannot wait to see your face! And everyone elses of course, I thought im not sure I know what everyone looks like so we will have to do an introduction session ha ha 

Chixy, Kirstie, Becky, and everyone! To those of you coming saturday I cant wait to see you, and to the rest sending my hellos hugs and kisses x


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## poppy05

my bloody mums guessed otd!!!!   we wasnt telling anyone, and she just said 'yr testing on mothers day arent you!!!!   i know it doesnt take a scientist to work it out, but flipping heck!! she'll ve sitting by the phone at 4am!!  
i dont want to make a big deal out if this but, im feeling dizzy today, and my boobies are starting to vein up!   but sshhhhh its prob cyclogest xx


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## Chixy

Hello lovely ladies,

How are we all.

Bexter - thank you so much for booking a table for us on Saturday - so looking forward to meeting you all that can make it. I am so pleased that you liked some of the places I found - praying now it is good there!! I am sending you a special dance to maintain a lovely healthy lining              Fingers crosses you will get your ET date soon and before you know it you will be PUPO!!! Take care hun

Kirstie - you are so good getting back on track and in readiness for treatment when you get the CALL. Apart from the rice (tut, tut DH) your meals all sound so lovely. I really want DH and I to get our bikes road worthy - I love cycling and really would like to get back on it. My bike is so old I am too embarrassed to take it to a shop to get it services!! Looking forward to seeing you on Saturday  

Poppy - wow  half way  there already!! How quick time seems to have gone (well for me anyway). You are doing so well and the symptoms you have shared sound extremely promising. You are so brave with your Bum injections - i am such a wimp  with my clexane injection - and they are probably nothing compared to yours!! Hope you enjoyed spending time with your Mum today and can't believe she guessed your OTD - what are our mothers like!!!

Jules - they let back in London again!!! Hope you are having fun there and not finding the journey too much. Looking forward to catching up with you on Saturday and I want you on your best behaviour while in my car!!   

Lottie - Saturday is going to be great and cannot believe that we are all finally going to meet up (we will have to do it again when the others can make it too!!) Shall we all wear a flower on our lapel so that we can identify each other   

Tricia - hpw awful to hear about your MIL - I hope she makes a good recovery - such a shame that you cannot visitor but I am sure she understands. It is good to hear that DH is recovering and I hope you  are finding time for yourself too.

Hopeful - how are you? I hope you are taking care of yourself and recovering from your recent ordeal - I understand what you are going through as I unfortunately had to go through the same thing - what really didn't help me was that I had to wait 12 hours before they finally did my D and C - very stressful and emotional day. I hope you were not left for that length of time.

Well I have been DR now for 11 days now and last night was the first night where I had such a sweat on and woke up at 3am and could not get back to sleep. With previous cycles my sleep seems to always be affected - does anyone else suffer with insomnia? Poppy I think you have been having a few sleepless nights haven't you? I hope this doesn't mean sleepless nights for the rest of the treatment!!?? I am so excited to meet some of you on Saturday - it is such a shame some of you can't make it, but hey its a good excuse to do it agin in the future. 

sending you all love and hugs 

Chixy xx


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies 

How are we all?

*Poppy*, I can't believe your mum knew your OTD!! That's mad! I think it's a sign . I didn't know that you copy your mums pregnancy either, thats interesting. URGH!! Vom..... Liquorice , ewww ming! I'll don't think there's any point in me asking my mum what her pregnancy was like with me, she can't remember what time I was born.....I can hear Stuart Littles violin playing, lol. When I was pregnant years ago, I ate vinegary gherkins from a jar at 10am every morning . 
Oh ok, so intrapilids isn't regular then, thought was weekly for some reason, oh I know nothing. How are the bum lumps? Really hope the jabs are going well hun, your so brave. 
Day 6 in the big mutha house, how you feeling this morning? Hope you slept well and are feeling good. Are the nips still itchy? Hehe. Interesting though, dizzy spells, veins on boobies etc.. It's sounding all good. I'll have to check out those pregnancy threads. I remember from this board, there many different symptoms, zero symptoms too and lots of BFPs, so remember that if you ever feel worried or have a wobbly moment. 
Did you have a nice day with your mum today? Lots of hair cutting today, to distract you too. Lol, I cut my own hair and fringe yesterday, I don't think I should had done it when I was feeling annoyed . 
Sending lots of love and good sticky vibes to Elsa & Olaf xxxxx

*Jules*, ha ha ha Phil & Grant . How was london yesterday? Hope you enjoyed your lunch in the sunshine . Sounds like you were on a time machine, not thameslink! Hate that too, but like your little trick, writing in notes and then copy & paste in ff. You don't want to be timed out after an essay on ff and youve lost your whole message, a train station is not the best place to experience this . Can't wait to meet my little chicken on Saturday xxx

*Kirstie*, well done for your run! Hope your feeling tip top. Sounds like your on a roll, fish, running. Good on ya girl . It is extra challenging for you, as your probably having to find lots of healthy recipes which you know Ralph will enjoy, as like you say, your happy to put anything together. Do share some successful recipes with us though. Oh jeez, this is why men should not be allowed in the kitchen! They either can really cook well or be absolutely useless. Mark has all these ideas, even watches these cooking programmes and days I (yes him) want yo make this. I've realised that it actually means me, as the only thing he's ever cooked me was once I got toad in the hole back in 2007 and beans on toast in 2013 (not that I hold a grudge or anything ). Cycling will be good chick  .
So looking forward to meeting you on Saturday .

*Lottie*, awwww I love your bump! Your looking radiant too.  Your message cracked me up, was actually LOLing , you do have a very beautiful face but that you were saying it was making me chuckle so much. Yay girly road trip, whoop whoop!

*Chixy*, my heart goes out to you, your experience last year was heart breaking . I'm feeling so good for you this time. It's going to be our time this time. Hats off to Tricia & Poppy for doing those gestone but I think would be wise for us to have a progestetone blood test after our 2ww (we will get BFPs!! ). Hopefully we won't need the extra progesterone but be good to find out if it is needed.
I heard that the Clexane is a painful jab. Are you using Emla cream? Is it helping at all? Am with you, the meds seem to effect my sleep too. Did you sleep better last night? Sometimes I think that it's the stress and worry which causes it. I think that we must wake up a bit during the night but when your stressed, when you do stir, you wake up by the brain being stim imaged with the worries and thoughts, which makes it difficult to go back to sleep. Are you experiencing any other symptoms on buserelin? I'm on day 13 of DR and day 11 of all the Estrogen stuff and since the weekend I'm definitely starting to feel very puffy and swollen and my legs are very achy and uncomfortable. I take it you start Stimming when AF arrives? 
It's no problem at all, thank you for finding these places, they look great . Can't wait to meet you too!! Def up for another FF gathering when everyone can make it. 
Awww thanks hun . I'm hoping my lining stays beautiful and not go manky before ET arrives.

*Tricia*, sending you lots lf love and hugs  . Hope everyone is recovering well and your coping ok. Let me know if you need any help with anything.

AFM, I feel I have serious PMT and then tucked into the Simnel cake last night and felt better . Don't think its PMt, I think it's frustration tbh. So I didn't hear back from the clinic yesterday, so I text the nurse around 6pm (they open late this clinic). So I just asked if she got ET date from the lister and when to start the other meds. She said she was contacting them now but maybe it was a bit late to get an answer? And then just text to say to continue as I am. I just feel frustrated that there seems to be so many obstacles just to get to ET, it's actually doing my head in. I should find out today and thank you *Kirstie* on your knowledge that once the lining is thick and optimum (which it was on mon nights scan), that it stays like that. I'm hoping and really don't mind waiting if it is a case of good things come to those who wait and not that my constant maintenance of PMA to myself just starts to wear v thin.

Xxxxx


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## poppy05

Morning whippers

Day 6 in the big muvva house, Danni is still in bed!!   feeling tired today so im trying to get back to sleep (once i get off here!) got a busy afternoon, so need to be fresh, or there will be some wonky haircuts!!
bexter you cut your own hair?!!!   yr a stylists worst nightmare  
im feeling the same today, nothing much at all really, still dizzy, still got those mild af twinges, but said before ive had those since before et, oh and i had totally forgotten how much wind cyclogest gives you!!!  
so 4 more sleeps to go!! this is the best ive ever done on a 2ww, not even wanting to test yet!
i wish i was meeting you all on sat! its going to be lovely  
tricia hows yr mil?
lottie yes you do look fabulous, yr bump is beautiful  
bexter i hope the clinic ring you soon, even im getting annoyed!!! 

Right sleepy time for me, catch up later, have a good day xxx


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## Bexter83

Hope you get a few hours kip in *Poppy*, so your nice and fresh for those hair cuts. Lol, I know and I haven't coloured my hair in years, I have Virgin hair, hehe. I may need you to give me a good look, I don't know where to start??
Omg yeah those cyclogests&#128168;&#128586;. Don't eat cabbage, that's like a double whammy..... This is when a dog is required, so they can be blamed, hehe. You have done amazingly, very proud of you for no early testing , really not long to go now.
I know, such a shame but we will have to have another meet up soon. 
Ha ha thanks, I'll let you know when I get the call. Then I can move onto the worry of the thawing . This is sooooo fun!!
Have a nice rest and a great day hun. Xxx


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## K.Notman

Afternoon Ladies!

*Bexter*- How annoying for them to keep you waiting  - it this going to be a last minute "right you're in tomorrow" job? They kept my lining going about 14days of which the last week I stepped up my acupuncture & yoga/meditation (and eating lots of green Jules!) so that I was at the right thickness on the day. I really don't know how long you could go for after that before your body naturally wants to reject or whether that is purely prompted by the lack of progesterone? I guess they know what they are doing and wouldn't risk it through needless delays if it was going to be detrimental to the tx. 
Wow- Mark sounds like he is really spoiling you with 2 meals in 9 years lol! Ralph isn't bad at his basic dishes and has very good intensions. He is more the dessert man though and actually made our wedding cake! He was inspired by 'Saturday Kitchen' and wants to cook for 8 people on Mother's Day! I'll be the sous chef!
I'm certainly up for more FF meet ups. *Jules, Chixy* and I meet once a month and I love it! It helps that the pub we go too is a lovely venue with a fantastic menu (the sharing camembert is amazing!).

*Poppy*, you are doing really well on your 2ww keeping busy and not wanting to POAS. Sunday seems early anyway so I wouldn't want to do it any sooner in case it was too early and that would cause extra anxiety and stress- who needs it? Phfft. We will all raise a glass to you on Saturday and do a group prayer/hug/positive & sticky vibe thing for you  ! Good job you are not at work if you have windy-pops! 

Chixy- Come on, there is no shame in 'vintage' or 'retro' bikes,  lol! It's lovely to get out when the weather is good. We are lucky in Redditch that there are nice paths to go on and parks to go around. Sorry to hear your symptoms have been uncomfortable. I've never had problems with sleep so can't offer any advice on that. I just hope it just another 'phase' that you'll come out the other end of.

AFM, well the same as last month, I get to the last 7 days of my monthly HRT and my emotions start doing a roller coaster. I was all over the place yesterday and it's been leading to arguments at home. Ralph really doesn't know how to cope as I've never had PMT or anything like that all my life (not enough oestrogen I guess). I just snapped at him saying he should consider himself lucky he's had it good for so long and it's only going to get worse through another tx and a possible pregnancy! I still worry about his autism and how he copes with all this. I have to be so patient and tolerant of him, bending over backwards all the time to accommodate his outbursts. But as soon as I get a little wobble, he gets really angry with me and I end up feeling really unhappy  . Then the next day everything is fine. It all just makes us stronger people I guess but I have to keep doing deep breathing when I'm in the loo  ! I got it all out of my system at karate last night and felt so much better!


----------



## Bexter83

Can't believe it!! So not long had the call from the nurse (she was lovely, she was still waiting to hear back from the lister). Soooo, my embies will be thawed   On Friday and ET will be on Saturday or Sunday but won't know until Friday. I have just tried to call them and left a message asking them to call me back, so I can get some clarification, as was advised before that it will be a day 2 transfer, which will be saturday. So I'm so sad that I think I'm going to have to be out on the Saturday lunch with all of us. Really disapointed about it, as have been really looking forward to it, I'm really sorry. Let me know what you girls want to do, as I booked the table of 5 under Rebecca, so I can cancel it or change numbers, whatever you ladies want to do. Oh man! I'm gutted!! Also, I arranged a free van for Sunday to take the boxes from Marks parents house to take to new place but will be so obvious if I'm not lifting anything. Grrrrrr! Anyways, the most important thing is to be stress free and pray for them to thaw (thank you Poppy love for your confidence too xxx) and to be in a calm state for them to go back in. Last night of Buserelin tonight, carrying on with estrogen stuff til advised otherwise and I start progesterone pessaries and steroids as of tomorrow.

Oh *Kirstie* hun, you are such a strong girl. I know what you mean in a way, when your trying to battle with your emotions and the hormones and having to hold it in. Mark is a love but very much the Alfa male and I have to be very careful with how much info on the fertility stuff, complaining about side effects etc I give him, as he won't tolerate it. So I know what you mean about having to release it some where else, or have a little cry in the toilet or something. I think there is some PMT dust in the air, so funny you said about feeling like that yesterday, poppy and myself had it yesterday also.

Xxxxxx


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## K.Notman

Thanks Bexter for your support.
I hope the clinic call you back soon for clarification.  Could they thaw tomorrow instead for a Friday transfer?  Worth asking as you have made plans for both days there may be a little flexibility but if you don't ask you don't get.  You've been available all week and waiting by the phone.  Good luck xxx


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## poppy05

Just wanted to send you some hugs Kirstie    yesterday was definately a hormonal day, i cried alot yesterday, and i couldnt be bothered to talk to dw, she hadn't done anything bless her, i just felt like having the hump!!   


I have just had some nice news, do you guys remember last year during tx me and dw had a car crash on way to clinic? well we had a phonecall last week from one of those no win no fee people, who normally gets told where to go, but after a quick chat, and a couple more phone calls, we have just had a call to say we have got £1200 each coming!!!! omg we never get anything, so happy, and it will come in handy if we get good news on sunday   


Bexter pinky & perky will soon be home           im so excited for you,   


chixy the insomnia is awful, i did get it with dr, but not half as bad as i have with the steroids, i literally did t sleep for almost a week, i have no idea how i was awake?! it has settled down, but im not sleeping a good nights sleep, im still having to set an alarm for 8 to make sure i take all my meds, if i didnt set an alarm i would prob sleep until lunchtime! i'd love a nice lie in, but the damn meds are stopping that!
hope you're drinking plenty? get some lavender pillow spray, thats supposed to help with sleep.


OMG ive eaten 3 slices of cake at mil's today!!!! i hate sponge cake, and ive just woofed down a massive slab of it!!


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## Bexter83

*Kirstie*, I left a voice message at the lister a few hours ago and still waiting for a call back. When I spoke to the nurse at the satellite clinic earlier, who gave me the info I did say that I had plans but she said that I'll be able to find out for def what day ET will be on Friday. Am gutted big time! I'll let you know if I hear from them and can change the date? Xxx

Thanks *Poppy*, you've been my little angel cake. I'm keeping positive. I have had a fear about the thawing and keep thinking only 1 will but I'll be so happy as long as I get something. My really close friend had 6 day 1 embies in the freezer (she had a delay like me, as she needed a hysteroscopy before ET. So they thawed 4 and didn't make it, so they defrosted the 2 and they were transferred. She has her boy now. She's been to 2 different places, so not 100% sure if it were the lister or the other place where they were thawed? I don't want to ask now either . Well I'm remaining positive and that is all I can do, eeek. 
Omg!! That is amazing!!! Keep all that good luck coming girl!!
Oh jeez! These steroids are going to be fun , I'm already waking up at 5:30am every morning at the moment. Ah well, it's all good training for when all our little ones arrive, hehe.

Xxxxxxx


----------



## K.Notman

Wow Poppy!  That's fantastic news especially after all this tx has cost you.  I hope you can treat yourself with some of it. 

Bexter, it's a constant worrying time 'will they defrost, wont they. Will they stick, wont they, Will they grow, wont they' jeez!  I'm just praying for you and hoping you can remain positive.  Everyday is a day closer!  and as Bob Marley always say "Don't worry, about a ting, coz every little ting, is gonna be alright!"


----------



## Bexter83

Hehe thank *Kirstie* , going to keep that song on in my head. Didn't get a call back but called this this am and they are def thawing on Friday and will get the call then to let me know all ok and a time for ET which will be on Saturday (a day 2 transfer) and will get the call on Saturday to let me know they've divided and all good to go ahead. Lots if prayers  and good vibes from the Whippers would be greatly appreciated, hehe xxxxxxxx 
I'm staying calm but realky am like a duck on water, haha. 
Ok, oven cleaned, bleach things and windows washed inside and out today. Boxes mostly packed already and sorting bits out, so lots of distractions and be done so can relax when I'm hopefully PUPO!!

Hope everyone is keeping well xxxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Bexter, sending every positive vibe, prayer, and love to pinky and perky, come on bubbies stay strong for yr mumma, shes been waiting so patiently for you,


----------



## jules418

hey ladies

Wooooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooo Bexter not long to go super exciting whoop there it is whoop there it is boom shacka lacka boom shacka lacka boom 

aww I miss not being on here all the time although it is lovely having lots to read up on  

Also gutted we wont be having our meet up on sat however this is sooooo much more exciting and we can meet up any old time  Well done for getting that oven done too all done now before move and if you don't forget you can always say you have pulled your back out so can't lift anything but on strong medication so you can bare the pain this will also take you out of any moving in bevvies  

We should organise an FF weekend in Kent take the doggies and go the sea side then Kazza and Poppy can come too and we have a right good old time haa haa. 

Poppy how are you holding up hun sending you sticky vibes and positive energy hold out til Sunday but make sure you have that extra stick or two incase you have a dud one. who needs that stress hey!!!!

Kirstie - Boo for PMT or as I like to call it WOMAN RAGE. sometimes you just need to let rip hun .... love your song yayyy feel I need a reefer now haa haa chill with the still maaaaan!!!! What is bob marleys favourite doughnut...... one wi' jamin' wi' jamin' lol 

Lottie - hope you are not being booted about too much by those litte bundles of joy....

Hopeful - hope you are ok and sending you MASSIVE hugs and some bum shakes to hopefully make you smile         

Kazza - how are you how is your bump coming along

BEckyA are you ok not seen you on here in a while 

AFM - I am still just plodding along. Lost 1lb this week I was pleased with that as had London distractions (mainly Valerie Patisserie at Euston station) I think the walking to and from the station Is helping plus lots of to-ing and fro-ing in the office meeting room here meeting room there. But slowly slowly catch a monkey and all that. I would like to do 2lb per week though so back on it now no 'treats' (well apart from sat of course) 
Looking forward to seeing chixy and kirstie and trying a new location this time. BWFF posse here we come haa haa 

Have a fab evening ladies

Jules
xxxx


----------



## poppy05

Hello my beauties   


Jules, you bloody crack me up!!!    just told dw the 'wi jammin' joke!! haha im crap at jokes, so for me that was hilarious!!   


Bexter       praying you dont get kept waiting too long for your call tomorrow, thinking of you sweetheart    come on pinky & perky!   


Well im still here, still pee stick free!! im so pleased ive not caved in, i did feel a bit fed up this afternoon, as i just want to know if im pg or not now, but i am holding out for sun, theres def a reason why sun is my otd, nerves have startrd kicking in now, my tummy is full of butterflies, and each time i think about testing, my tummy is in knots, im not sure im going to be able to look at the test!
still feeling dizzy but thats pretty much it, the stimm drugs, and trigger shot, are def the culprits of symptoms!!!    its nice to feel so normal after tx, just wish i had a bit of something to give me an idea, but then am i not allowing myself to feel things? oh i dont know, its all a head f***   
anyway tomorrow is fri, and i only have 2 more days to get through, this time has flown, bring on sun!!!


----------



## Kazza79

Evening everyone, 

So pleased reading about how everyone is going,  iv been reading but not always posting but I'm so happy for everyone 😘

Poppy - well done hun no testing and I have such a good feeling hun xxx

Bexter- all my love n thoughts are going straight to your bundles for their thaw tomorrow all will be perfect   Xxx

Jules- Defo up for a kent visit it would be so great to see everyone face to face xxx

Hello everyone else and hope everyone is ok xxxx


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## Bexter83

Morning Whippers,

Steroids have a lot to answer for!! 03:30am wake up this morning......its going to be a looonnnnng day! Thank you ladies for all your postive words, vibes, wishes and prayers , means a lot. I've started to feel better after a long overdue cry in the car yesterday (really rubbish song on radio set me off, lol) and was busy with things and planning and stuff which distracted me. So funny how things happen....so had a beep on my phone and showed the estate agent left a voice message...thought that was strange, it didnt even ring? Anyways call her back and she said no not tried to call?? So said whilst yiur on the phone can I just clear a few bits up etc... And then she was saying the 20th? I was like, my contact says the 21st?? So we actually need to leave the house by 10am next Friday, not saturday, which totally changes the plans made for the move, as won't have access to the free van we had and Mark will be at work. However, not allowing anything to get to me now and stress me. Just going to have to call around today for 2 men & a van and book it all. 
Eeek, it's going to be an anxious time until the call on Saturday to tell me they've divided and are able to be transferred . Now I've started to worry if 2.5 days is even long enough to have been on the steroids and 2x progesterone pessaries for when hopefully ET will be? What will be will be I suppose, I can't do anymore than I am already. Come on Pinky & Perky    .

*Poppy*, day 8 in the big muvva house.....how you feeling today chicky? So proud of you for staying away from those pee sticks . Agree, it is all a bit of a head f***. Do you have much on today to keep you distracted? 
Sending loads of snuggly happy thoughts to your Elsa & Olaf, I love em already!!
Thanks for all your lovely messages/texts at the moment, I know you had this last week and it is so blimming scary.

*Lego Jules*, omg you make me laugh soooo much . Jammin, we're Jammin! Ha ha! am super gutted about having to re arrange Saturday's plans, was soooo looking forward to it. I'm glad you Brummy girls are still getting together though and I haven't ruined everyone's weekend. We will def sort out another date for us all. Hehe, I just had a vision of us having a walnut whipper bus and we can go around the country picking all the Whippers up......road trip!!! Whoop whoop! I think poppy and I could easily help out as the bus horn with these pessaries 
Good idea! Now with it being 2 strange men and not a friend helping with the move, I think I just will say to them that I'm pregnant and won't be able to lift anything but will use your idea on Sunday as we have access to the van (only available at weekends), as meeting our friends who's flat we're soon to be renting and getting key/access to the garage they cleared to take all the stored bits at Mark' folks, so all our bits are in one place. 
Well done love! 1lb loss is better than none or any gain, so you are doing great hun, keep up the fab work . 
I'm so glad your new job is going great and big pat on the back for all the good work youve done there already, that they have already sung your praises. I know you were worried about not being good enough and felt nervous but see, you are a superstar!!

Thanks *Kirstie*, am feeling more relaxed and chilled maaan, already.....don't worry, about a ting! Hehe. How's the PMT? I loved the Estrogen at the beginning but down know if was the DR was doing also, by the second week I felt PMT symptoms also. Oh these hormones are crazy! I was feeling so uncomfortable and fat a few days ago and then stopped DR, yesterday am, started the progesterone and the puffiness has really gone down. All v strange. The hormones can have a strong effect on the body and mind, so I hope AF arrives v soon and you can feel better again. 
How is everything else with you? im so excited for you to start tx too, I really think you'll get a call soon.

*Kazza*, thanks for your thoughts hunny bunny . How's your baby boy doing? Lots of movement and kicking in there? How's your work going? Are you still on less days at the moment? Hope it's all working out and things are good with you .

Big love to *Tricia*, hope Mr T and your MIL are doing well. Thanks for your texts too xxx

*Lottie*, good luck with your scan today, it's all going to be great and I know you'll feel loads better after your reassurance. Thinking of you today and let me know how you got on and want to see pics....I want to see if I can work out if it's team blue or team pink, hehe......thinking there's pink in the oven  , maybe double pink  .

How you doing Chixy & Becky?


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## BeckyA

Hello lovely ladies, just a quickie to send *bexster* lots of crossed fingers for your thaw, hope it goes ok and you get the phone call sooner rather than later!


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## K.Notman

Morning Whippers!
*Bexter*- praying for a positive thaw for your little frosties today and that you get a good time for your appointment tomorrow. Then it's time to chill maaaaaan! You've been working like a trooper and getting things ready for this and now you can wind down. It's still crazy that you've got a house move to hope with but I suppose that's a good distraction during the 2ww as long as it doesn't cause more stress. Don't be shy to use your family & friends for support- spread the load, even if it's little things you need help with or even just a coffee break. You are not alone!

*BeckyA & Kazza*, good to hear from you both. It's always good to know that you are about and checking in. We've come a long way since September. Have a lovely weekend.

*Poppy*- you are doing so well and I think it's helped by the significance of OTD being Mother's Day that has helped you resist. Just make sure you do more than one test at the same time so you don't go through what I did with a dud one. Keep up your water intake and healthy eating knowing you are doing everything you can and the rest is the miracle that you deserve. I hope all the crazy hormone symptoms will pale into insignificance on Sunday when it will all be worth it. How is the Mary Berry Baking? Lol!

*Jules*- Booooo for WOMAN RAGE! But actually it could be used as an excuse if I've got stuff to get off my chest! It sounds like you are settling into the job well. I look forward to hearing all about it on Saturday. Well done on the weight loss, have you got a particular target in mind before you phone up the hospital to start tx again or are you just seeing how it goes? I know how hard it is and with all the temptations outweighing the will-power to exercise, any loss is fantastic! Keep it up hun. I think a break in Kent sounds amazing. The hardest things is collaborating everyone's diaries though. Had better start discussing weekend dates soon then looking at lovely little cottages we could go to. We could have chef Jules and Kirst on the catering (plenty of greens everyone!) lol!

*Chixy*, thanks for sorting a venue for our 'ladies who lunch' tomorrow. Looking forward to another 5 hour natter!

Hello everyone else.

AFM, well emotions seem to be calming but period cramps are like nothing I've felt before. I'm hoping it's a good sign for a thick lining and my body getting used to a regular higher dose of oestrogen than on the microgynon pill all those years. Wearing a white karate Gi requires a lot of sanitary consideration for heavy AF though and my instructor has been known to make us do crazy exercises lying on the ground waving our legs in the air and I'm like (grrr if he only knew what was going on in my groin!). Luckily last night we stuck to Jujitsu wrist locks!
As far as waiting for the call from hospital is concerned, I'm not in any rush but I'm just so relieved it will be this year. I want her to find the right donor for us and everything to fall into place. It will give DH time to get his health improved for Olympic champion love juice swimmers! He is clueless about what it takes to lose weight though (despite watching a number of series of 'Biggest Loser' with me!) He put on 4lb last week and when I offered him support he just shrugged it off and said "water retention"! Well, it could be, or it could be that he is consuming far more calories than he is burning each day? Oh well, we'll get there. At least he is taking the supplements! I'm trying to be really careful not to put pressure on him but I just wish that he had the drive to want to do this for the sake of increasing our success, especially when the consultant asked him directly- why is that not enough incentive for him? I pushed myself every day for 2 years to lose 4 stone so I know how hard it is but I wanted the end result so badly and felt so guilty for not being able to offer Ralph children 'the easy way' that I felt I had to do everything to make amends. We are having ICSI so his low motility shouldn't be a problem but the fact that only 50% of eggs fertilised last time does bring the sperm quality into question (although he puts it down to egg quality), *sigh*! Anyway, what will be will be but I just want to know we've done what we can.

Sorry- that turned out to be a bit of a rant! I guess I had to get it out of my system and you guys are amazing at understanding all of this. Thanks for listening xxx Have a good weekend all- a very exciting one for *Bexter and Poppy *


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## Bexter83

Just a quickie (Oi oi ) I'll be back on later. But thank you girls so much for your well wishes and prayers. My snow babies have thawed      And have my ET tomorrow. I feel a million times better. Fingers crossed no call from the embryologist tomorrow with bad news and that all is gravy. Pinky & Perky have done me proud so far.... Come on my little beans xxxxxxx


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## poppy05

Evening ladies


Day 8 in the big muvva house, Danni is going slightly insane!!   


Sorry ive been awol today, ive had a bit of a negative day, and i needed to just get myself out of it! 
Ive proper felt like its not worked today, but im so close to testing now, that i think that could just be a natural feeling? maybe your mind has to prepare for the worst? i guess we all go through these ups and downs during the 2ww, and ive only had the one bad day, with the odd wobble, i'll be so glad to get to tomorrow!


Bexter im so happy for you, i was in tears when you text me, i could feel your worry yesterday, and its so horrible when you know what someone is going through and theres nothing you can do to help   
im so excited for you for tomorrow, cant wait to see pinky n perkys little photo   
we get to share our 2ww for a day at least,    
good luck for tomorrow sweetheart, i'll be thinking of you all     


Chixy hows it going babes? been thinking of you   


Hope the whippers who are meeting tomorrow have a lovely lunch, and hopefully i can come to the next one, im dying to meet you all   


Happy weekend lovelies, big muvva will be back tomorrow with the last update before poas time!!!!    arghhhhhhhhhhh im scared!!!!!!    xxx


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## Chixy

yepeeeeeee Bexter that is just fantastic news. That has made my day. I have been having a bit of a wobble since last night but hearing your news is just what I need to hear to cheer me up. Pinky and Perky will soon be with their Mommy again         With everything else that you are coping with too - packing up your house ready to move - you are amazing (just the way you are!!)

Poppy - Mothers day will be your day getting the best feeling ever for you and will be continuing to send you PMA   You have been amazing throughout this cycle and doing so well to stay away from the pee sticks. 

Jules- whoop can't wait for our catch up on Saturday and hoping you and Kirstie like Queens head as much as the Victoria   Great news on your weight loss hun, every little bit helps. Looking forward to hearing all about your new job and all thats happening with you hun.

Kirstie - PMT is just the pits and having AF just adds insult to injury but I love how you find the positives to everything. Heres hoping that your lining is getting itself ready for your lovely future buddies of joy/s. You are amazing with your DH and I am sure his swimmers will be just fine when the time comes to it. You are so well organised and forward thinking that I am sure it will be second time lucky for you both this time around. The Walnut Whippers hit the cottage of>>>>>>> venue to be arranged - sounds great!!!

BeckyA and Kazza - how are you both? lovely to see you on here again.

Lottie - hope all is well with you and you will enjoy and be spoilt for mothers day.

Hopeful - how are you lovely?

Tricia - how are you and the twins? hope you are all ok and Mr T is on the mend ready to spoil you on mothers day!! I also really hope that the MIL is also feeling much better and can come home soon from hospital.

AFM: I am waiting for the arrival of AF - i hope she comes soon because I have my baseline booked in on the 19th -eek (first hurdle to get over) I had a real cry last night because a friend of mine sent me text to let me know her exciting news. She is 12 weeks pregnant (number 4!!) Of course I am delighted for her and her family and especially since she has had a difficult time of it lately with losing her FIL followed by losing her own father a few months later. It just hurts to feel like I am left behind and beginning to feel like I don't fit in with so many of my friends now since i am seem to be the only one without a baby or being pregnant - this makes me so sad and drags me down. I guess the dull weather today hasn't helped but I feel quite low today and feel like hiding away from the world   I know I need to try and get back to being positive because i really don't want to jeopardise this cycle and tx. I have checked through all my meds and learnt that i do not have my steroids yet!! I know Poppy and Bexter have been on steroids (or will be) during your tx - when did you start taking it. Did you find it really bloated you? I am aware Poppy that it made it difficult for you sleep - but I am waking at stupid a clock anyway (always do when cycling for some reason!!??) I have never taken steroids and I am a little worried about them. What are they actually supposed to do towards the tx? Lots of questions - sorry.

Sending lots of positive thoughts to both Poppy and Bexter for the exciting things happening to our lovely Walnut Whippers 

lots of love to one and all

Chixy xxx


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## poppy05

Hey chixy, lovely to hear from you, the steroids supress your immune system, im a big girl anyway so its hard to say if im swollen from them, dw says im not, she said i dont look any different, but then i have a moon face anyway!!!   
i had the bad insomnia for a week, a slightly croaky voice, (thought i was turning into a man!) and im starving 24/7 got worse the last couple of days, of course im hoping its a pregnancy symptom, but i honestly believe its the pred!
on the flip side, ive had really good skin during this tx, last time i had the most horrendous spots, i had one appear on my head yesterday and one on my nose today, again im hoping its a sign of pregnancy, its not af as i get my af spot on my chin! 
i'd say the steroids make you feel rough for about a week, then you do notice things getti g less obvious.
I started taking them 3 weeks ago, so a couple of weeks before et, but reading stuff on here, everyone seems to do different and on different doses, im on 1, 25mg tablet a day, i think bexter is on same dose but in 5 tablets? she will correct me if im wrong, i didnt really like the thought of taking them, but if im pregnant then they appear to be working cos im not bleeding, and i always am by now, every time.
Hope af arrives soon for you, wear white knickers!!!


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## Bexter83

*Kirstie*, thanks lovely, your prayers worked , I'm still hoping so much that I don't get any bad news in the morning but I do feel so much better and at ease and am smiling again. You girls are fantastic, don't know what I'd do with you all xxx
AF sounds like has come with a vengeance this cycle. Lol, sorry I'm not laughing at you but I was chuckling a lot when you were talking about your karate kit and moves. Yep it definitely wasn't a female who designed those. I think you've hit the nail on the head there. So the pill thins the lining. The pill is often prescribed to women with heavy and painful periods, to help this. I have the easiest & painless periods when have been on the pill. So it sounds like your responding well to the new estrogen your on, well you may not feel like it because of the moods and the actual AF effect but surely means you know what works for you to get that lovely thick lining. 
I know it's a testing battle for you to get Ralph to be a bit more on board with the diet/health plan. All these little changes over time will make a difference and your supps for him too. I can imagine that it's incredibly wearing and tiring for you to feel like your on his back or feeling these emotions but having to play the game to try and get him to be a bit better on it. I hope that he starts to see and feel a difference from even small changes to encourage himself more without you being there, to eat better/less. Keep with it hun, great that your starting now and will be fit, healthy and ready for your tx and there will be super love juice too.

*Poppy*, you are such a sweetheart, you have been totally amazing for me this week, thank you. Totally know what you mean, I hate whenever anyone one of us Whippers are not feeling good or anything, you just feel so helpless but all you want to do is be able to wave a magic wand and hug to fix us, to stop any bad feelings or pain. 
It must be down to it being so close now and your protecting yourself. Like everyone else has said, I have such a good feeling for you. The difference in the 2ww when from a fresh and FET is probably why you feel different. You don't have all this other stimming, DR and trigger drugs in you which gave so many pregnancy symptoms. You did a natural FET and you know that most woman wouldn't even know they were pregnant by this stage. Your doing so great by not testing early. It's a sign to test on Mother's Day. I keep seeing frozen and Elsa name everywhere too. Keep distracted, really not long now. Xxx
Did you check out the voltarol to see if could or would be any good for your sore lumps? Sending you and the bubbas lots if good vibes  .

*Chixy*, you are such a love, thank you  . Oh bless you, the stress and the DR can really get you down and have wobbly moments. Sometimes it's goid to have a cry or a rant and let out any built up emotion. Totally understand how you feel when these things happen, like you say your so happy for them but it does just highlight your own struggles. Sometimes I'm out with friends or at their house and mums and kids are there and feel like a right weirdo and then think if I play or be too involved with reading it playing with the kids, they'll think Im some kind of baby stealer or something . Seriously, as soon as he or she starts crying, I'll happily give him/her back, lol. Big hugs hun , it's always difficult. You also start to avoid people, situations and just become a bit different, which always feels sad too, so I understand hun. 
So day 2 on the steroids for me and could be the anxiety of the thaw but I dud wake up early but it's also not uncommon for he to wake up early anyway, like 5/6am ish. The best thing to do is to try and make sure your bedroom is as comfortable as possible to not wake up in the night, as I think with the steroids, once you do wake up, it's difficult to get back to sleep. So far I haven't had a change in appetite. I cud wake up hungry this morning but I didn't eat very much yesterday and when I woke up, I needed something to eat. I'm sure I have the increase of appetite to come but I'm not crazy hungry like I was last time on the progesterone pessaries (which I've started), just normal really (for now ). 
I believe you start the pred steroids the day after trigger (same day you start progesterone). See if you can get your steroid prescription from the clinic/hospital soon, so you have the prescription ready at least. No stress though, you have plenty of time . 
I'll do an AF dance to try and get her to arrive, hehe. 
How was the party last Saturday?

AFM, I felt like Anika Rice today but am running on adrenaline after my thaw phone call and nervous energy for tomorrow. I don't feel tired at all but have sorted so many things out today, so I can be relaxed and have a calm abd happy baby palace for tomorrow. Lol, I also bought myself a box of chocolates to have myself on Mother's Day   Ha ha!! Nom nom!!


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## K.Notman

Morning folks.
Just a quick one from me to wish Bexter lots of luck today with the transfer.  Then to relax (as much as you can whilst moving house!!!!)  
Poppy, Hold on tight there, last day of the wait.  I hope you had a good evening of laughter with Comic Relief last night.


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## poppy05

Morning gang

Bexter good luck sweetheart   im very excited for you   almost pupo! 

girls have a lovely lunch today  

So day 9 in the big muvva house, Danni is poo'ing bricks!!!   omg girls can you believe ive done it, ive made it and not tested early!! im so proud of myself, dw is at the shops as we speak buying pee sticks!!   
i have no idea how i feel, im very scared, and nervous and honestly dont know what the result will be, however the amount im eating right now is abnormal! im soooooo hungry literally all day!!  
Big muvva's next update will be the one!!!


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## Bexter83

Evening ladies,

I'm PUPO!!    ..... Have 2 embies on board   Please stick my little lovelies xxx
So Pinky & perky are one gade 2 and one grade 3, no fragmentation, so a big improvement to my last 2.

*Poppy*, it's going to all good   . So bloody scary this I know xxxxx


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## Kazza79

Evening all

Bexter- so pleased for you hun your are officially PUPO   It's so fantastic hun   realax put your feet up and chill for the next few days hunny let them bubbas settle into there new mummy house     

Poppy- well done hunny you have done so well, I'm so excited for you both tomorrow it's going to be the best mummy day present ever  
I will be thinking of you and can't wait to log on tomorrow and see your good news xxx

Chixy- fingers crossed AF comes soon for you hunny xxx

Kirsty-hi hun glad you are doing ok hun, these emotions and hormones are a nightmare arnt they, hang on in there girl you are on the right track xxx

AFM- I'm doing ok, getting very big   baby's scan showed its very big which is scary so I'm seeing a consultant on Monday, I really want another home birth so hope they say it's still ok   xxx

Hi everyone else and hope everyone is ok xxx


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## poppy05

Morning girls


It was bfn, im really shocked, im not 100% sure im out yet, i was told to start testing from day 10, but preferrebly day 12, i guess i have to cling on to that little piece of hope, i dont know much about frozen embies, but i have heard they are slower at releasing hcg?    someone up there hates me, i cant believe this has happened to me on mothers day of all days!!   
feeling extremely pi**ed off!! i was certain i was going to see that bfp this morning, i just dont understand why this happens to me


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## Bexter83

Poppy I'm keeping everything crossed for you that it changes over the next few days. This is torture and can't believe how cruel life can be sometimes. Sending all the positive vibes to you xxxxxxxxxxx


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## tricia1012

Morning ladies, 

I've not had a proper catch up so I need to read back but I popped on quick this morning !

Poppy - I know we've already tx and you know I'm here for you   It changes  , massive   Hun xx

Bexter - congrats on being pupo !! Keep yourself busy with some funny movies and your feet up  xx

Kazza -hi Hun best of luck with your consult appt on mon hope you get the birth you want xx

Jules - how are you Hun ? Xx

Chixy - fingers crossed af shows up soon for you , well all do a little af dance  xx

Kirstie - how's things going ? have you had any update from the hosp about a donor ? Hope the meds your on aren't giving you to many bad side effects   All for a good cause though Hun xx

Lottie - were always in touch but didn't want to leave you out  hope your having a lovely weekend xx

Did a few of you end up meeting up yesterday? ? 

Firstly thanks to everyone you always ask how hubby is everyone's so nice . He's still in a lot of pain but he's ok and that's the most important thing I would be lost if anything ever happened to him . 
I feel we've all got so close on here and I'm so upset poppy didn't get the news you deserved this morning , I think there's still hope for you to test again tomorrow but it's just so hard . I get so angry that we have to go through so much to get what so many people just take for granted 😡 I'm feeling hormonal rage coming on 🙈 lol . No but seriously each and every one of you deserves your bfp and I'll keep   That you all get it . If I didn't have so many probs getting preg in the first place i would have babies for all of you ! 

Love and babydust to all xxx


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## jules418

Poppy hunni sending you huge amounts of hugs and cuddles.  I dont know anything about frozen embies ask I know is what i have learnt from you guys.

This ride is so f'in awful, emotional draining and straining.

Fingers crossed that the next few days show some change as you say frozen are A bit slower and we wouldn't normally test on day 10. 

No matter what we are all here and are your online family wanting and willing to be there for you 

Jules
Xxxx


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## BeckyA

*poppy*,  got everything crossed for you that it was just too early to detect.   

*bexster*, yey, pupo, woop!! Hope you are managing to relax and the house move isn't too stressful, although they do say "new house, new baby" so that has got to be a good sign.

*kirstie*, i loved your post on ******** yesterday. It is what those of us who keep our infertility secret from the world (me included) are dying to say to everyone. Personally i am keeping away from ** today as I know it is gonna be full of mothers day stuff and only makes me think "another f'in year that i am not a mum!" 
You are doing really well with the healthy plan and fitness. It is hard to get OH on board. i told Oscar we were being healthy, but he keeps buying crisps and chocolate when he goes to the supermarket (that is why i don't let him go often!)...grrr. He is taken the supplements I am forcing on him though, i got him one of those 7 day pill holders and it sits on the kitchen table as a reminder!!

*chixy*, hope the dr'ing is going ok. Has AF arrived yet? Hope you and *jules* and *kirstie* (and *lottie*?) had a lovely lunch yesterday!

*tricia*, lovely to hear from you and glad mr t is on the mend.

*kazza*, hope your appt goes ok tomorrow.

Have i forgotten anyone!?!

afM, had a lovely weekend celebrating my first wedding anniversary. Oscar and I went to see Raphael (Spain's answer to Tom Jones) on Friday, then yesterday went on a winery visit in the morning and then for a lovely lazy boozy lunch which lasted til 5pm!!


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## Kazza79

Hi all 

Poppy- I'm so sorry hun but like you say it could be to early, I'm sure I tested on day 12 or 14 so fingers crossed hun I will be praying for you   xxx


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## K.Notman

Good morning ladies and welcome to another week on the fertility rollercoaster ride.

Firstly I'm sending mahoooosive hugs and cuddles to *Poppy *got get through this very difficult time. I hope your clinic can offer support and counselling if you want it and of course we are all here for you if you want to rant, rave or get things off your chest. I know you've discussed this being your last chance but now you have the insurance money coming in do you think you might be tempted to try an alternative?

*Kazza*, how are you m'love? I hope you had a relaxing weekend. How did you get on with the consultant today about your 'big baby'?!

*BackyA*, Ralph & I are very open with our friends & family about our fertility journey but I think it helps with my problem being very specific "I have no ovaries"; makes things much more cut and dry for us to deal with compared to "unknown issues" or just TTC for years. So we have loads of support from our ***********. I know exactly what you mean though about everyone else banging on about Mother's Day so I just wanted people to stop and think how lucky they are. We hosted my parents, sister & in-laws for a full-on roast dinner and had a wonderful afternoon with everyone.
I'm the same about going shopping with Ralph, it's so much easier to buy healthy stuff when he is not with me- I get it done in half the time & half the cost too! I'm glad he is trying now though. We have both got 7 day pill pots too! Proper druggies! Whenever he starts to grumble about it I just remind him how much more our donor has to do with injections etc and he has it really lucky.
I'm glad you had a lovely anniversary, Sounds like a lovely weekend.

*Jules & Chixy*- Another wonderful lunch date ladies. Ralph really has no idea how we can chat for so long, lol! It helps that the venue was amazing and the drinks kept coming. Mum & Dad said they had moored their narrowboat up there before! *Chixy*, Glad that AF is on schedule ready for Thursday scan, things are ticking along nicely there. I hope you find the free street parking I was telling you about. Have a good week both of you.

*Bexter*, Sounds like Pinky & Perky are looking good with no fragmentation. Now for sticky vibes, hold tight little ones. I hope everything with the house goes well over the next fortnight and you can get planning for the future; exciting times. Have you got any nice treats planned for your 2ww? Remember to try some comedy in there as laughter is the best medicine- oh and yoga and listening to good ol' Bob Marley!

*Lottie*, How are you hunni? Sorry not to have met you on Saturday but we'll get another date sorted I'm sure.

Good morning everyone else.
AFM, well a wonderful FF lunch/evening on Saturday. We got there for 1pm and had to be asked to move at 7pm as the table was booked for someone else lol! We do love our natters and *Jules* treated us all to a little glass Wish Heart she saw so we have our little tokens of hope to keep on us at all times now, she is so lovely! I had a lovely day yesterday too hosting for 8 people. I was so proud of my Pork crackling after following a tip from the butcher about putting vinegar on with the salt before the first 20 min blast in hot oven. WOW! So whilst I was chilled out last night I was like, uggh I have to go to work tomorrow, I could so easily have had a 3 day weekend! I need to have a really good week with diet and exercise though as I did indulge quite a bit over the last three days.

As far as everything else is concerned, nothing new to report really. Ticking along nicely. About tp start month 3 of my HRT. I feel so much better about the thought that my body is getting a regular hormone balance now like 'normal' people. I really wander how this will affect my lining scans? I'm not in any rush to hear from the clinic but I'm just really happy that things are moving and we are getting ourselves prepared.

Have a great week everyone (or as good as it can be *Poppy* xxx)


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies,

*Poppy*, am sending you all the love and hugs there is possible in the World. We are all here for you       . Also I know Jules bum wiggles can often get a little smile somewhere, so I'll give it a go   .

Awww thanks *Becky* , I hope so . Congrats on your first anniversary . Your boozy lunch sounded great...,,hmmm I'm dreaming of bubbles! You been ok though?

Lovely message as always *Jules* xxx hope you are well hun xxx

Awww *Tricia*, your so sweet . Am sorry to hear that Mr T is still in pain, am praying for a speedy recovery. How's yiur MIL doing? Have you been ok? 
Moving date is on Friday! Whoop whoop! I'll be your neighbour v soon . Yesterday we used the van and took all the bits from Marks folks to put in the new flat and we saw our friends there and they were showing us all the work which has been done and we are so excited. I didn't lift a finger, oh other than carrying a yoga mat and camping bed rolls . I felt utterly useless and wondered if I had taken it too far when he was loading and unloading and I was sitting in the van with Zita west on, eyes closed, hehe.

Very exciting *Kazza!!* I can't believe how quickly this time has gone.

Chixy and Kirstie, hope you girls and Jules of course, had a great time on Saturday.

Not forgetting you *Lottie* . Hope your feeling good.

Xxxxxxxxx


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## poppy05

Hello my darling girls   


Firstly i want to thank you all for your wonderful support over the last, well months, but particularly the last few days, you have all been so so amazing, and such lovely words from you all, i appreciate it so much.


Now we all know my otd is actually tomorrow, however i know im not pregnant, i dont feel it, i have no symptoms, and i just know im not, so after a very difficult, long, 19 years, my fertility journey is over, i have given it my all and i have nothing left to give, ive spent in the region on 40k, suffered 2 miscarriages, 5 cycles of tx, and when i was married to my ex husband we had a year on fertility drugs, numerous tests, and 13 years of ttc naturally! thats enough now, i cant take anymore.
I'm feeling numb, i just cannot believe i wont be a mum, ive never put my heart into anything other than ttc, because ive never wanted anything else, im so devestated, my mum wont be a nanna, and i find that really sad too.
Ive now got to tell everyone this is the end, and there wont be anymore 'when we have babies' or 'i wouldnt do that with my children' it will just be ' no i havent got children, i cant have them' 
im not looking forward to the 'you did your best' and 'cant you adopt' 'everything happens for a reason' its going to come from everyone, and i dont want to hear it, im sat here trying to think of what on earth we do now, i cant just plod along doing the same stuff eachday, i hate work, i had planned on leaving to have a baby, do i get my own business? do i change my career? wtf do i do? 
Vicki is being great, she is still holding out hope for otd bless her, i am very grateful to have such a wonderful partner, she is sad too, and wanted this so much, i guess we have to plan our lives for the 2 of us now, and look forward to holidays, a nice home, and material things.


Its funny because when i joined FF 9 years ago, i joined because i felt so alone, and felt i had found a place where people know how i feel, all of a sudden i feel back there again, i feel like no one understands how im feeling, every single friend i have made here on FF has achieved their dream, or are still on their journey, ive not made a friend on here yet who has had to move on.


I will be staying on here for now, but im not sure if its going to do me any good, so i will just have to see how i feel over the coming weeks, i still like the idea of supporting others, thats why im a mod, i enjoy it, but not sure im much use to anyone right now.


I think my next step has to be to organise some councelling, im not the kind of person who goes for all that, i deal with stuff myself, im quite a strong person, however this is different, i need a bit of guidance i think, so i guess i need to look into that.


Sorry for the massive me post, i didnt intend on writing all this, it just came out, but i do love you girls alot, thankyou all again


----------



## K.Notman

Oh Poppy my love, we are here for you.  I can't find any words that will make any of this any better and you need to take time to process it all.  I wouldn't blame you at all for staying away from FF, however, there is a forum for people who have decided to move on and there MUST be people there just like you, so you are not alone and there will be people there to listen.  

Out of interest though (and I know you said you didn't want to hear it,, sorry) but what are your thoughts on adoption?  I know some people think if they can't have their own child then they don't want one at all- is this how you guys feel?

Counselling is a must though.  Get whatever you want off your chest even if it's not fertility related.  This has been your life and I can see how you now lack purpose.  To be happy being you is so much easier said than done.  I'm sending you all the love in the world that you have the support to get through each day and eventually onto a brighter future.
xxxx


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## hopeful1985

Hi Poppy

Just checking in and saw ur post. Just wanted to say I wish you and Vicki all the best and to thank u from the bottom of my heart for all ur advice, support and ur non judgemental ear. When i joined FF i was scared to open up about something so personal and felt alone. You are one of the ladies who made me feel safe and secure enough to share. Its true that u don't appreciate someones role in ur life until you might lose them. I hope you stay on here or pop on sporadically as i would love to know how u r getting on. I understand about the need to pull away for a while. I have only been popping in every few weeks as couldn't face  it. Just know Poppy that there is a reason we all found each other and u have made a big difference to me. Thank you and massive hugs my lovely. You do what is best for you and Vicki xxxxxx


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## poppy05

Thankyou Kirstie
My thoughts on adoption have always been that i cant think about it until i know im not able to have my own, now i am at that stage i need to councelling to help me decide
I feel like i only want my own baby, but being a mum isnt just about givng birth and being pregnant i know that, the thought of social workers deciding if we are good enough to be parents pi*ses me off too, coming into our home and investigating our lives, i just dont know, i do know we would beed to move, we live in a very small bungalow, yes its 2 bedroom, but very small, our bathroom doesnt even have a bath, its such a small room we had it taken out and a shower fitted, im just not sure i can cope with another journey to motherhood, as it wont be quick, i could still be waiting for a match in 2 years, thats if we even get accepted, you cant even nip over to china and rescue babies now, you have to pay 10-15 grand!! im not about to buy a baby!! 
my mum is adopted so its something thats in our family, vicki would adopt, im just not sure, its not ruled out, but i cant begin to think about it yet xxx


hopeful my darling what lovely words, you have made me cry, but in a nice way, i know how difficult it is for you to come on and post at the moment, so i am so grateful for your thoughts and kind words, ive been thinking of you so much, and im sending big hugs right back to you    im sure i will still be here, im not leaving you just yet anyway, i will always come and post here even if i dont use the rest of ff, but i do need to dip my toes into the moving on boards xxx


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## K.Notman

Poppy, I echo what Hopeful said about how much of an impact you've made on many people's lives through FF including mine.  You have been like the 'Big Muvva' to me, holding my hand through my first treatment which is obviously a very emotional ride and you have been there every step for us all with knowledge, wisdom and love; and I'm so grateful.  There will be people on the other boards who can do the same for you so let them help offer guidance and support wherever you need it.  People who have had equal reservations about 'what next'.  Remember "life is what you make it" and you just need time to decide what you and Vicki want.  There are no 'right' and 'wrongs' but there is always hope for something.  This has been another chapter in your life but it is not the end of the book (Gosh that's profound!).


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## Bexter83

Poppy hun, I wish you were not going through this, I also echo what Kirstie and Hopeful had said. You are an amazingly strong woman and you already sound like you know what your next steps are, which is for some counselling for guidance in being able to know what the next steps are. I am honestly heartbroken for you and Vicki, I don't really know what to say but I just want this dark time to pass and that I'll be there for you. 
You really have been such a support to us and to me, I cannot thank you enough. Completely understand if you need to take breaks from ff, at the moment you probably don't know how to feel other than lost and deeply hurt and what will make you feel better, if FF will benefit you or not? There is no pressure and just do whatever makes you happy, that's what matters. 

Am thinking of you and sending so many hugs for you and please just contact me anytime if you need anything.      
So much love xxxxx


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## tricia1012

Poppy - my heart is literally broken for you , like everyone has said you are such a strong women.  Your the glue that held this group together you always managed to make me smile on a down day. I know there's nothing any of us can say to make things better at the moment you've just got to do whatever is best for the both of you , just know that I'm always here for you . We've all bonded so much and I know I couldn't have got through any of this without all of you . I wish there was something I could do for you but I completley understand you wanting to take a break from here for a bit but just know that we will all be here waiting whenever you need us . 

Love and hugs xxx


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## Lottie1802

Poppy you were literally one of the first people I met on here and probably the reason I stayed for so long.You really are the walnut whippers rock! Like tricia I am heartbroken for you and your wife, I cant get my head round it. I can understand you feel alone in this but mum or not your an amazing person and you should never forget that, so perhaps counselling and joining a group of people who have also made the choice to stop their journey will help you.

I cant thank you enough for all the support you have given me personally and I love you lots x x x x x


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## BeckyA

*poppy*, I am still hoping in my heart that today has brought you a massive surprise. But if not, i am sending you all the  that I have to you and your wife. You are such an amazing person. As all the others have said, you are our leader, we will be bereft without you. You have helped so many of us. But completely understand the need to step away from all things fertility. Just remember that we are always here for you should you need us. Xxxx


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## K.Notman

Good morning Whippers.  My prayers and love are still going out to Poppy   .  I've said it in my texts but THANK YOU again for being there for us and we are here for you when you need   .  It is such a terrible thing when one of us feels heartbreak and all of us wish we could wave the magic wand to make everything ok.  We have been a fantastic cycle buddy group.

Well I'd like to lighten the mood with some good news...
I've had 'The Call'!  Birmingham Women's Hospital have found us the most amazing donor for us.  We were given the details yesterday to discuss and give our answer this morning.  So last night, Ralph & I discussed the pros & cons and basically couldn't come up with any reasons to pass on this amazing opportunity.  The lady is not having any treatment herself so is donating out of the goodness of her own heart.  This means that we are likely to get all of her eggs as there are no other people on the waiting list with the same match to share with.  On paper she sounds fantastic!  So things could be starting again within the next month when they sync our cycles to each other.  

OMG I'm still in shock!  We've had a nice break over Christmas and have focused on health for the last couple of months so IT's TIME!  I'm not getting my hopes up and just going to take each stage as we come to it.  I've contacted my acupuncturist to see her availability of weekly appointments again to sort my blood flow out for a nice thick lining and I'll get started on my supplements too.  Eeeep, so exciting!


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## Bexter83

Morning ladies, 

Thinking of you Poppy        , you know where we are xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx hoping each day gets easier and brighter. You are in my prayers xxxxxxxxxx

Omg!!!!!!!!! Kirstie       That is amazing!!!!!!!!!!! So happy for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx fantastic news xxxxxxxx


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## poppy05

Morning girls


Such beautiful messages from beautiful people    thankyou so much girls
so otd today and yes bfn, i have spoken to my clinic and they said that with fets sometimes it doesnt show on otd, so im to continue my drugs and retest on thurs! its torture really, and i feel like its just a waste of time, i 100% know im not pg, ive been pg twice i know how it feels, and i literally have nothing, i dont feel pg in the slightest, it doesnt feel like af is coming either, its weird, theres just nothing there at all, the couple of niggles i do have i know is the meds, but i guess i have no choice, i have to do as they say.
i had such a crap day yesterday, i didnt even get out of bed until 3pm! i need to pick myself up and try to be ok, we are going shopping today to buy my mums birthday present, and one of my best friends is getting married in sweden in aug, we said we prob couldnt go, obviously hoping to be pregnant, however thats not the case, so ive just found some flights, and hoping to get those booked, i have a small dilema, my manager is also my best mate, (not the one getting married) and hes already booked time off to go, now we arent allowed 2 people off together, so ive text him to ask what we can do, because im going to that wedding no matter what, i'll leave my bloody job if i have to!!
we have also been looking at holidays for oct, being that we are going to the wedding now, we may have to just do a city break or something, just have to save up and see what we can afford at the time.
i get to go hat shopping! ive always wanted to wear a hat to a wedding, never had the guts, but fk it!! better get my fat ass on a diet!!! 




Kirstie darling im so over the moon for you and Ralph, its wonderful news, and im so pleased its been quick, i truely was gutted when you were told it could be 18 months or more, this is lovely news   


Bexter how are you feeling babes? i feel like ive abandoned you, i really hope little pinky & perky are snuggling in, i feel dreadful this has all happened to me just as you begin your 2ww, please dont let it give you negative feelings,   


Big hugs to everyone else


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## Bexter83

You haven't abandoned me Poppy, don't worry about me , i just want you to feel better. This wait is literatly mental torture for you, I'm still praying for it to be a case of a late detection. Your manager/friend must understand and make an allowance for this. You've made your mind up your going anyway, so it's nice to have that to look forward to. There's not a shortage of fittys there too, nice bit if eye candy, lol (men and woman are ridiculously good looking there ). Ooooh a fancy hat at a wedding, I've never worn one but have braved fascinators, they seem to make my face less moony, haha. 
Lots of hugs to you hun     

Xxxxxxxxxxxc


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## K.Notman

Afternoon folks!
Well obviously having been told my news, I now have tonnes going through my head!  One thing I'm having a wobble over is how little control I have over our donor (yes I'm a control freak!).  Using my sister last cycle was easy as I was able to read the forums about supplements and buy everything she needed, instructing her what to take and tips on diet etc.  learning so much from what all of you lot are going through.  We did acupuncture together and generally I felt that WE were doing everything we could.  Now that I'm using an unknown donor, all I know is that the hospital have done all their screening and will recommend the basics.  Now I know I probably don't have anything to worry about and she'll probably be fine going through tx and produce an 'average' amount of eggs but I just feel like I wish I could share all the things I know and have learnt from you lot with her.  I've no idea if she even knows about this website! 

Please can someone throw a bucket of cold water over me!


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## poppy05

Kirstie babe    sorry no bucket!   
Calm down and take some deep breaths   
Now if she is donating her eggs, im sure she is fully aware of how important it is to her recipient, therefore im sure she is eating sensibly and doing what she can, bare in mind that although supplements are great, they dont always do what you want them to do, think of all the babies that are made on drunken nights out followed by kebabs etc! not a drop of folic acid in sight
i have been an egg donor, and i didnt take supplements, all i have ever taken is pregnacare, i still ate chocolate and drank coffee, and my recipient got pregnant!   
Just you concentrate on making a squishy baby nest, and let her do the rest, i have a feeling you are going get around 12 eggs!    i gave my recipient 10, and i had 10, so hopefully she got some frosties too.
Its all going to be fine my lovely, just fine


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## K.Notman

Thank you Poppy, that's just what I needed to hear!  And you are right of course, plenty of people get pregnant without all this stuff because they are just chilled out and do what they do every day. 
I'm just going to concentrate on doing what I can do to make my squishy nest. What will be will be right!  (need to take some of my own medicine! lol)  "Don't worry, about a ting, coz every little thing, is gonna be alright...." ha ha ha ha


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## Kazza79

Hi all

Poppy- so sorry I haven't written earlier iv only just got to log on, I'm so sorry hun and just like everyone else has been saying you really are like our mums sorry if that's offensive lol you are only 3 yrs older than me lol but you are always there to pick us up when we fall or calm us down when we get scared, I completly understand you want to pull back and reassess everything and hope you find the answers you want and need. you will defo benifit from the holiday and the wedding hun   I'm here if you need me just like we all are     XXXX


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## poppy05

Ahhh thankyou kazza   and no not offended at all, all the girls at work call me mummy too!! to be fair i am old enough to be half of their mums!!   our clients must wonder what on earth goes on, they call call me mum in the salon too, i call for someone then i get 'yes mummy'!!!   its cute really xxx


Kirstie, you have to play Bob to your embies after et!! its surprisingly relaxing laying on the bed playing a song to your tummy, im missing doing mine, vic suggested we do it today 'just incase' but i didnt feel like it   
Have they given you much info on your donor, or just that its a match? xxx


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## Bexter83

Kirstie I have a bucket and some water here for you!! Poppy's totally spot on and you've got a v good candidate (young etc), so you have the odds in your favour. I think because of our experiences and journeys we can all get very caught up with supps and extreme fertility health because we try everything and believe it will give us every chance but unfortunately we are the minority in the world and like Poppy said, lots of women don't know they are pregnant and are still drinking alcohol and all of that. You just concentrate on you and Ralph for super sperm and a baby palace and it's all good .
I'm sooooo excited for you, it's just wonderful news, to think it was an 18-24 month waiting time initially, it's just brilliant. Xxxxxx


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## Lottie1802

Kirstie! 

Bucket ! Splash ! There you go.

Now perhaps this is a good thing to happen, because it will force you to take a deep breath and accept that you are not in control of this, its nature and no one can control it trust me on that. The best medicine is relaxation , not man made supplements. Just enjoy the fact that you have an amazing person out there who has cut your waiting time short and her eggs are obviously suitable so dont panic.

This sounds so bad of me to say this so I apologise if I offend anyone, but I literally ate cake , laid on my sofa if I wanted, didnt take one supplement , my eggs were perfect, and I have two beautiful healthy babies growing exactly as nature intended them too. What im trying to say is , the more you think about controlling your body, the more uptight and tense you make it, just trust it and go with what makes you happy. In my two week wait I just did what I wanted , enjoyed the odd walk with my husband and waited for fate to play out for me. Your nearly there misses!  Huge hugs x


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## Lottie1802

On a me note! I just heard my boss got his redundancy which pretty much means im getting mine but I have my meeting tomorrow am! It sounds like I will be unemployed after 13th april eeek!!! Ive always worked since I was 15, this is a bit scary lol


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## K.Notman

Lottie- Good luck with your meeting, I hope you get out of it everything that you need and that you can concentrate on your new career of 'Mummy'!

Bexter- how is that 2ww going?  Early days I'm guessing so I hope you have lots of nice positive distractions to keep you ticking off each day.

Poppy- The wedding sounds a fantastic event to look forward to- and the hat shopping!  You can still have lots of fun on mini-breaks on a budget too so enjoy some internet surfing and get a brainstorm of ideas on the go.

Hello everyone else.  I hope you are all well and happy enjoying the Spring.

AFM, Thank you everyone for being the voice of reason and grounding me when I had a wobble yesterday.  I was really chilled out for the first cycle last year so I'm hoping I will be this time too.  I know it's our last go on the NHS but I'm not focusing on that, just that we are doing what we can and the rest is up to Mother Nature.

Poppy, I did get a whole profile for our donor, she is 32, has 3 brothers, very healthy/sporty and I have a whole list of hobbies/interests including charity work she's done etc- She just sounds wonderful.  She did get pregnant before but did not have a live birth; my nurse said not to read too much into this.  She has passed all of the screening so I don't know FSH AMH etc only that they are ok for her to be accepted.  I'll hear from the hospital later this month to go in to get my prescription for the higher dose HRT.  We found out last time that my body responds best to a short/high dose so that will be when our donor is stimming I guess.  Anyway, I'm going to keep up my healthy routines, drink a little less alcohol (have over done it the last few weekends!) and make sure I'm getting lots of water and sleep.  I feel more in control today, just going to take it one day at a time- "keep the faith" as Bon Jovi says!


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## Bexter83

Goodluck tomorrow morning *Lottie*, hope you get the outcome you want. It will probably feel quite strange at first having lots of time on your hands but not long until you'll be kept busy with the little ones, enjoy it. Also, I reckon you'll realky like Tipping Point  Xxx
I think your right, feeling less stress and relaxed is probably the best thing anyone can do during this, more so than supplements.

*Kirstie*, glad your feeling better today, you know it's normal to have a wobbly moment/day, this has all come around so quickly, which is brilliant but it probably just hit you at once and you immediately got sucked into the IVF madness again. Before I started both cycles and FET, I knew what was around the corner, and you have your weekends of drinking etc and you think your mentally prepared for it, especially after knowing what to expect after the first one but as soon as AF arrived, it would just hit me, like oh gosh here we go again. So what I'm saying is, I think you just worried because it's kinda happening now for you now. 
Your donor sounds lovely and healthy and knowing her background/hobbies being sport, she's likely to be healthy in her eating anyway. I think it's us, money making companies etc who do lots of the guilt trip into the fertility foods, supps etc, have you noticed that all doctors have never said to eat Brazil nuts, have acupuncture and listen to Zita west (I'm guilty of all of this btw, as you know). It's because it's not proven. Some consultants even suggest having the odd glass of wine. What I mean is, your donor has passed all of the screening (all the criteria which has been proven to succeed). This means she is likely to provide lots of healthy eggs, supps or no supps. 
Sorry about the waffle, I knew what I was trying to say.
I'm ok thanks hun . 2ww has been a lot less stressful and anxious this time, which is nice. Today if all going to plan , my embies have started hatching out of their shell....interesting . Very salty stages and other than twinges, I don't really feel anything tbh. Been quite busy and things I normally get irritated or stressed about, I've been thinking of Bob Marley "don't worry, about a ting" and a big joint, lol and think ah don't worry man! So taken mark to the dentist to have his front 3 teeth taken out and a temporary plate fitted to have implants, so today I have a v grumpy man here, who's also cracking the whip for me to pack more stuff ready for the move. I wish he wasn't going to work on Friday, as I'm left with the removal guys on my own and Im not allowed to lift anything and the cheek of the agent at this place have said will I have it clean and ready by 10am on Friday(that's the polite version, the real version didn't sound like that), when honestly I don't think even ever had a cleaner tenant in here before and did not look great when I moved in last year, and the heating broke, so no heating first few days either and the cheek to start on me! So Mark will be loading the back of my car the night before with the recycling and the smelly bin because I can't lift all this stuff (all the things you take for granted pre transfer). Anyways, it will all work out, oh and we sorted out some compensation from the dealership. So feeling like am ticking things off and getting there.

Xxxxxx


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## poppy05

HHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!   


OMG girls, i cant cope much longer, ive got serious head fk today!!!!! sorry i know we mustn't swear on here, but right now i couldnt give a toss!!!


So i saw my neighbour this morning, she had ivf at the lister last year, she knew we was doing tx, i told her it was a BFN, she asked when i tested etc, and she just looked at me like i was mad, and said this 'you have tested a bit early havent you?' i was like er have i? she then said 'i got a negative on the day the clinic gave me to test, day 10 as was a day 5 transfer, the clinic told me i had to retest on day 14', she said she wasnt happy because she knew she wasnt pregnant, she already has a son (they had tx cos her dh had chemo so froze his sperm) 
and she didnt feel pregnant like she did the time before, she went on to say she nearly died when she got a BFP on day 14!! 4 days after otd!!!!!    and she answered the door to me holding her 5 month old bfp!!!! 
She tried her best to make me see it could still change, but i just cannot and do not believe it can happen to me, i am just not that lucky.
Vicki is convinced something good is coming, she said she doesnt feel its over, she feels we need to keep going, so now she is saying if i get another  bfn (i will) tomorrow then she wants me to continue my meds and go for a beta, but i cant get there now til mon, i cant not go back to work tomorrow, so im proper freaking out now, i just know im not ptegnant, i cant be, theres nothing there, but i feel i cant begin to move on either, ive got so many thoughts racing through my brain right now, af is due, and it doesnt feel like its coming, not got the usual sore boobs, chin spot, choc cravings, ovary pain, no spotting or bleeding at all, i have no idea? im assuming the gestone would stop all af signs? 
ive got womb twinges, but said ive had that since before et, so i think that must be my thick lining?
honestly girls i could cry, i just want to get over all this now, begin my road to 'otherhood' get back to normal, i want my body back, im sick to death of drugs! im reluctantly taking them, but i have only done 1 pessary the last 2 days, i feel like im getting thrush from them, i cant bare to do 2 when i know im not pg, my bum is absolutely killing me, the rock hard lumps and bruises hurt so much, and ive got to have another injection in 15 minutes!!!!
This is the shi*test time ever!!!!!!
I just want to scream!!!    




Sorry for the depressing me post xxx


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## Bexter83

OMG Poppy! I feel like I'm on this rollarcoaster ride with you! This is actual torture!!! What an amazing story from your neighbour. You know my friend I was telling you about, there were a couple of women on a thread she was on on here and the same thing happened to them. The lister both times have given me a shorter OTD and I gave it as 14 days from transfer. 
Are you going to test tomorrow?    Please change xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## poppy05

Yes bex im testing tomorrow, only because they have asked me to, but i dont really want to see another stick of 'not pregnant' even though i know its coming its still crap to see it, im like, 'yes thanks i know im not pregnant you dont have to keep telling me'!!! 
I honestly dont know why this is happening to me    i thought i'd had my share of shi*, i thought this time was my time, finally, i get to announce im pregnant, i get to post  bump pics on **, i get to go and buy baby clothes, i get a baby shower, but no not me!    
Its all just a big pile of hairy mens dangly bits!!!! 
im actually feeling angry today, i shouldnt have to go through this, no one should, but im being selfish today, and ive had enough!!!   


sorry guys    xxx


----------



## Bexter83

There are no words hun   . I can imagine your going through every emotion right now, so don't blame you for feeling anger right now. Totally understand that thise sticks bring you pain too. 
Praying so hard your result changes and sending you all the hugs in the world   . Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Thankyou darling xxx
Hows the steroids going? wide awake club? xx


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## Bexter83

The steroid club has been ok but been up since 04:30 this morning, entertaining myself watch House Doctor (omg that is so old!) and I don't feel tired now either. But it's not been that bad, the sleeping had calmed down, still not the normal amount of hours. Xxxxx


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## poppy05

Im glad your not suffering to badly, my sleep still isnt right, imguess im going to have to wean off them now? want to just stop all meds! xx


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## Bexter83

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx stay strong hunny xxxxxx you've been so brave, get this last bit out of the way to know for sure. Sending you lots of love


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## Bexter83

That wasn't meant to be the PMA stick emoji, don't know what I was doing...... Maybe these steroids are messing with my brain.....like a walking zombie xxxxxx


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## K.Notman

Just got time to do some catching up...
OMG Poppy I'm really feeling for you, everything you have been through and to prolong it like this.  I agree with DW though that having been through everything you have so far this tx that  a few more days of meds and testing could still be worth it.  Just go through the motions and you never know what might happen.  At least if you are prepared for the worst then it's not like you are getting your hopes up.  But really, this whole thing is all a miracle.  Your meds may well be the reason that AF hasn't arrived but keep taking them now you've got them just so you can know in your own mind that you tried EVERYTHING.  Then if you do get negative confirmation later, you know you have closure.  I'm really praying for you.  I hope that going back to work could be a good distraction even though you are not feeling yourself.

Bexter, how are you doing hun?  Thinking of you everyday too.


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## poppy05

Hi girls


It's not a good day, obviously as expected it was bfn this morn, a little bit of me of course hoped to see something different, but no deep down i knew it would be negative.
I got myself ready and set off for work, i got half way there and burst into tears, and by the time i got to work i couldnt breathe, it was so horrible, i rang vicki at work, and she then ended up crying because she cant get to me shes in work, then i went into work and just collapsed on our poor little receptionist!! i managed to sort myself out, and i left and went straight to my mums, had mummy hugs and tea, and a chat with her, but sadly this is one of those situations where no one understands, unless you have gone through infertility/ivf/tx/mc etc, its impossible to know how it feels, and i think my mum finds it hard as she just doesnt understand, we talked about adoption, my mum is adopted, and we had a chat about it, my mum said to me that only me and vicki can decide what we do, and if we decide to livechild free as long as im happy then shes happy, however she did say, that she thinks me and vicki would be amazing mummies and it would be very sad if we dont try another way, and she is right, but like vicki andi both said, we aren't considering anything until at least next year, i need to get over all this first.


I have an appointment with a councellor tomorrow morning, and im seeing the dr on mon, cant get an appt before then!! i would like him to sign me off for a week or two, just so i can get my head around everything, and begin to deal with it all, i just feel like i cant cope, i feel like ive been kicked in the stomach my a horse, i didnt think being sad could give you physical pain, but this does really hurt, im so tearful too, i cant work like that, ive got my clients to tell, and right now i know i couldnt say it without crying.


I have spoken to my clinic, i bloody cried on the nurse too! felt a right prat, shes told me to stop my meds, and shes sending me a prescription for more steroids as ive got to wean down off those, she said i should bleed in 2-3 days    im dreading that bit.
ive refused a follow up appt, i dont see the point, they cant tell me why this happened, its one of those things, we are having no more tx ever, so no point in discussing options, because there aren't any, and to be quite honest, the thought of walking into that clinic fills me with dread, i dont want to go there ever again, the nurse said that was fair enough.


So that it now, its all over, no more wondering, no more limbo land, no more anything really, just got a very sad few months ahead.    never thought i'd be in this position, ever, it sucks. xxxx


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## Bexter83

My heart goes out to you and Vicki, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. There are no words but I hope I can support you in anyway to get you through this. 
    Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Bexter83

Not long only sat down, have tried to be kind to myself and ha e not lifted anything heavy and taken breaks Ive been on my feet all day cleaning, packing all sorts, today my embies shoukd be attaching themselves to the uterine wall and 2 more days of implanting....I've probably stopped any of that happening.....ah well what will be will be


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## jules418

Hi all,

Poppy... Babes...sending you so much love. There are no words for what you are going through is horrendous emotionally and physically and mentally (different to emotionally) you are grieving this cycle, the outcome and the reality of what that means. This is more than sadness and is a real feeling. This isn't just a - on a stick this is more (I'm not belittling a bfn) you need to take time to understand the many different feelings and emotional journey that will now be undertaken. 

We are all here for you and have so much love for you. As the others have said you are our momma here and we want to protect you and help. I am glad that you are going to see someone and will be a massive help going forward. 
Take everything in your own time do not belittle your own feelings angry sad crying even happy as you will have a moment when you laugh this is allowed xxx

Better- hope the move goes well xx

Hi everyone else hope all is well

Jules xxx


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## K.Notman

Morning all!

*Poppy*- As I've been saying in my texts, you are allowed to feel all kinds of emotions at the moment and you have to let the tears flow, the numbness to consume, the anger to radiate and all the other kinds of madness. The counselling will be good to take you through some of these feelings. You don't need to make any decisions until you are good and ready. It's simply a case of taking each day/week/month at a time. You have some nice things on the horizon to look forward too. Think back to how you felt after previous cycles and how after stopping all the meds you felt it was good just to be YOU again. You will feel like that again I promise. 
I think it's great that your mum was able to tell you about her first-hand experience of adoption and that should help you realise that this doesn't have to be the end of parenting (unless you decide that's what you want). You are an amazing person with a fantastic wife and your life together needs to be cherished at the moment. We all wish you well and are sending our love. I hope that you keep in touch one way or the other. 

*Bexter*- Your house move will certainly help you fill the days with plenty to do and it sounds like you are being careful where you need to. Try and see it all positively, new beginnings and all that  . Strangely enough, I may well be doing something similar as we are still planning on moving house in the summer  ! Did you manage to get everything sorted for your deadline today? I hope it all goes well and you'll have lots of help to get things organised this weekend. How is Mark after the dentist? 3 teeth- ouch! 

*Lottie*- How was your redundancy meeting? Are you ok? How is your baby bump doing?

*Jules*- How was 'fat club' this week? I hope you were able to work off some of the treats we had on Saturday! I only lost half a pound this week because of my heavy weekend. Although having had my amazing news about starting tx again, my motivation is refocused and I'm going to push to lose my extra 7 lb to get back to goal in a month (that's the plan anyway!).

*Chixy*- How is your tx going? I'm glad the scan went well on Thursday so things are on track. Things could work out well for the Easter Holiday for you! 

Hello everyone else lurking, don't be shy- say 'Hello'.

AFM, well I have my acupuncture appointment this afternoon. I found having one a week for 2 months made all the difference to my lining last time. I'm back on the 7-day-pill-pot routine for my supplements. I've not bought any more but just using up all the ones I bought for last time when they were on offer! I still have no idea on dates yet as everything now depends on the donor's cycle. She'll be doing short protocol so will have to DR first, scan, then stim before I start any of my hormone tx. So it gives me a bit more time to prepare my body and mind for what's to come. DH has been on his supplements since the 3rd March (when we were told they could match us within 3 months) but the weight-loss is not happening. I can't imagine it will make any difference now anyway but I'm encouraging him all the same so he can hopefully be a healthy Dad. I know men generate the sperm 3 months before it's released so this is all a bit late now if we are working on EC at the end of next month. However, it can't do any harm and I'm glad he is taking an interest for once! I'm actually a little cheesed off to be honest. If the clinic told us in January that there was a possibility of something happening this soon then he'd have continued taking the supplements and could have super-doper-love-juices by now! But because we were told nothing would happen for 18 months then we kind of just let it all go, ate rubbish, didn't exercise and he does have a lot of caffine and sugar. Oh well, can't change the past and being more relaxed and care free can't be a bad thing (always a silver lining!).

Don't get me wrong, I've not suddenly flicked the IVF switch and gone into mental breakdown mode (Other than my little wobble the other day at the shock of it all!). I'm still chilled out and actually very excited. I feel that we are both in a really good place and with the subtle changes to this cycle, we are very optimistic. Not getting hopes up but just taking it all in our stride. I'm just so grateful to have you all holding my hand going through it all again. I don't think I'd feel the same joining another cycle buddy group!

Anyway, have a great weekend everyone 
Kirstie xXx


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## Bexter83

Hey ladies,

How are we all? I've had FF withdrawal symptoms and first moment to sit down and be at one with my iPad , I've had to use Mark's hotspot to have Internet, as BT are coming on Tuesday  .

*Poppy*, how are you today? Are you ok? Thinking of you all the time and sending you all the hugs    Xxxxxxxx

*Jules*, hope your having a fantabulous weekend hun xxx

*Kirstie*, thank you for all your kind words, your such a sweetheart , always saying the nicest things to us. Mark's doing a lot better thanks, the temporary plate was causing probs, so he had another appointment to get it looked at on Friday, which he was a bit annoyed about because he's had 3 days off work, so unpaid as self employed but what can you do? And the move went so well and was great for him to be here because I couldn't lift anything remotely heavy (was quite frustrating). But it's been brilliant already. We are around the corner from all our friends (group Mark grew up with) and when were sick of the site of boxes, few of us went to the pub and then yesterday the boys went to our friends to watch the rugby on the OHP in the man den, so many beers, omg they were all so drunk, lol! But us ladies and they have kids, we went for a nice pub lunch and then went back to guys. I fell asleep on the sofa and took few of us back at 04:30am, ha ha. Was fun. But omg, we have a friend and she's v anti kids. Anyways she was out on fri and sat and it didn't take a rocket scientist to see I wasn't drinking but omg, the awkwardness when she's sat in the middle of means my best bud (the one who introduced me to FF, had 4 cycles etc), so our friend said, Becky I know....kept going on saying I know. I said, no what!? Trying to brush off (not offering up any info). Anyways she was quite rude tbh and just kept repeating saying she knows, it's obvious and then said I'm really happy for you both (in the most un genuine tone ever). I didn't even say anything but I thought, she has no flipping idea! And it's not nice to put someone on the spot like that. I could be? I don't even know myself but obviously with me not announcing it means that it would be early stages to announce even it were the case. Anyways, sorry, rant over,lol.
Yep, things have gone to plan and I feel settled already and lots done and sorted now and now I can go back on the job hunt (stopped for the last week), but feel like it's all a new beginning for me, it's great. Hopefully will have lots to celebrate next Saturday  .
Don't worry too much about Ralph's diet and supps etc starting less than the 3 months. Your right, the changes and improvements in this time will help. Have you heard of IMSI before? My friend had it and it's great for couples when the partner has sperm issues, it's more expensive than ICSI but it's worth researching. 
Your so right about this group, it's made such a difference to this cycle and 2ww. Your going to feel so at ease and in a good place during yours, I know it. You have a nice balance of being pro active and assertive, knowing what works/helps you but your also very calm and strong. Being calm and stress free as can be will have a better effect than a supplement . We are going to be holding your hand all the way through your cycle. I feel so grateful for you ladies, your all truly wonderful and makes all the difference. whatever happens next Saturday, we got the all clear last night (our friend, now our landlord, haha) he was in a very drunken state ) but said we can keep a dog here. So we will double check with them again to make sure they really are ok with it and not that they feel bad to say no. But we are most likely able to get a puppy!!! Omg omg omg!!!! 
So are you now just waiting for the go ahead to start DR yourself then? Do you have any dates?

Lots of love to you ladies xxxxxxxx


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## K.Notman

Morning all. How lovely it is to see Spring weather, lighter mornings and sunshine for a change. We had a really lovely day in Stratford yesterday. Some people were braving it in T-shirts but there is still a nip to the air so I stayed covered up!

*Poppy*- Sending you my thoughts and hugs. I hope the counselling goes well this week.

*Chixy*- How are the stimms going? Do you feel any different to the last cycle? Hopefully less anxious now you know what to expect. When is your next scan?

*Jules*- I hope you had a good 'Super Saturday'! How is the job going- still finding your feet or part of the furniture now?

*Bexter*- You write lovely posts too and keep this board moving. I know it's gone really quiet lately but I guess people are moving on. I'm still checking in to see how everyone is doing. I don't want you to feel deserted (although I'm sure everyone is still thinking of you in your 2ww). I'm glad your move went well. We watched the rugby too; It's great that you have your friends close by and ones with children will be helpful when you need the support. I'm sorry the one girl made things awkward but well done for handling it well. As Ralph & I are very open about our tx with our close friends, it helps that everyone is so supportive for us and things are never awkward. Sounds like you had a great time anyway. Good luck with the job hunting. I hope you can get something that will be just right for what you need and will be flexible with you through (hopefully) pregnancy. Wow, the excitement of getting a puppy! Ralph has been wanting a dog for ages but he is so untidy himself that I would be constantly cleaning up after the two of them! I told him the day I don't have to nag him about putting stuff away is the day I'd consider us getting a dog! I think if we have a child a puppy would be something nice to have as a family when the child is old enough to want one and look after it!

*BeckyA*- how are you hun? Have you had anymore thoughts on ICSI#4? Are you just enjoying being stress free between cycles?
*Hopeful*- Are you having a long break before your 3rd cycle? Did you go through counselling at all? I hope you are well and getting back to feeling like YOU again.

Hello other Whippers: *Lottie, Kazza, Tricia*; I hope you and your precious little bumps are all doing very well.

AFM, I'm really pleased with the way DH has taken to healthy routines. I'm feeling really good about this cycle. I won't need to do any DR. I just have to wait for the hospital to tell me to stop taking my HRT and then 7 days before ET I'll be on an increased dose of oestrogen and 3 days before ET I'll add Progesterone. Then that's it, 2ww for me too. I'm using this time now to get ready as I'm not sure when all this will happen as it's down to the donor's cycle. I want to shift the 7lb excess I'm carrying around with me and do as much exercise as I can (well, only 30 mins activity a day!) before taking it easier through tx. I'm eating my leafy greens and ticking all my boxes for healthy living. I'm slowly drinking up the alcohol in the house (you can't watch rugby and eat curry without a bottle of beer!). My acupuncture was good on Friday and I've scheduled weekly appointments for the next month. So all in all, I'm ticking on nicely. I still don't think it's all quite sunk in yet but it will be more real when the hospital give me some dates.

Have a good week everyone. Don't forget to pop on and say 'Hi' once in a while to keep us going.
Kirstie


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## poppy05

Hello girls


Hope you are all ok? 
Just thought i would pop on and say hi, things not really much different this end, i had my first councelling session on fri, it was tough, but shes a nice lady, we talked loads, and she kept referring back to the fact i can still be a mum through adoption, which is something vicki and i have discussed, but like i said to the councellor, i need to deal with not being able to have my own first, im never going to be pregnant and give birth, and right now i cant bare that thought.
i saw my dr today and shes signed me off work for a month, just to give me time to feel better, she told me i should be a councellor!!! i was like what? really? she said ive just sat and told her exactly what she should of been telling me, i know what i need to do to get better, she said i can see u have it all worked out in yr head, and once you are feeling better, i think u should do a course and get paid for it!!! 
i came out thinking blimey, i just sat crying to her, telling her how i feel and why i feel it and what i want to do about it, and shes diagnosed me as a councellor!!!!    anyway im grateful for the time away, to deal with things.


bexter, thinking of you babes, really praying so hard that pinky and perky are all snug   


kirstie, not long now hun, very exciting times   


sending love and hugs to everyone


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## Chixy

Hello there ladies,

So sorry it has been a while since I have been on here. Can you believe it is the first chance I have had chance to really sit down and put pen to paper (well type on the keypad!!)

*Poppy* You poor thing. The pain you must be in right now and with a broken heart must be so hard. I am so sorry. I am pleased to hear that you have sort counselling and have some things to focus on - like a friends wedding. With all things facility - sometimes it is good to have something different to focus on - even if it is only for a short time. You know we are all here for you and  motherhood blesses you and your DW in the very near future by which ever means is possible for you both. At the moment you need to give yourselves chance to grieve. And please now that you have gained some truly loyal friends on ff.  

*Kirstie* So you are getting back in to preparing for your next cycle - it is getting ever closer and I am so happy for you and DH. How was your acupuncture session - bet it was great to see J again - she is so knowledgeable and lovely to speak with. My injections are going well thanks - I am able to do them myself now - something I would never have dreamed possible since I used to be so needle phobic. Hope you had a great time in Stratford - i presume you travelled there on your new bike? 

*Bexter* how are you hun? how are Pinky and Perky? I hope they have settled in well to their new comfy home. Are you in your new home now? I hope the move went well and you are now able to relax comfortably with your feet up.  

*Jules* how are you lovely? Missing you F5 ing - I bet you don't even know where that key is anymore  Have you been to London this week? will you get much time off over Easter? I am wishing my life away because I cannot wait for Friday to break up for two weeks!!

*Tricia* Hope everything has settled down in your house. Hoping DH is now back on track and has recovered from his awful accident. I also hope you DMI is now back home. thinking of you and your twins 

*BeckyA, Lottie, Kazza and Hopeful * I hope you are all well and life is being kind to you all.

I started my stimming injections last Friday - so now I spend my morning preparing my injections - trying very hard not to get air in!! So this Friday I am booked in for my next scan to see how my follicles are developing -eek. I am sitting writing to you all with a hot water bottle on my stomach!! Here is hoping I have beautiful juicy ripe follies for Friday. It catches me out every time - how suddenly EC will be upon me!! (All being well) DR seems to go on for ever and then as soon as I start stimming - a date will be given for EC. Oh my goodness!! I am pleased to say that if all goes to plan - EC will fall over the Easter holidays which means I will not need to stress about work giving me chance to hopefully be stress free from work and relaxing fully at home. The weekend we had a wedding to go to in Scarborough - and I have to be honest i was dreading it!!! As i expected there were many people there with young children and babies. I felt like the odd one out and couldn't wait to return to my hotel room to hide away - hate feeling like this grrrr. We then had to endure the newly weds son's first birthday party on the Sunday. I wanted the earth to swallow me up. When my DH said we better get going you have never seen anyone run so fast to the car 
I know only you lovely ladies will really understand this feeling. How can I stop this pain? Well I would prefer to finish my post on a happier note - so I hope you all have something exciting planned for Easter and the Easter bunny leaves you all loads of chocolate yummy.

love to all Chixy


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## jules418

Hi ladies

How are you all. I feel I have deserted you all since I got this new job lol. 

Kirstie, i am still loving the job, I am so busy and have loads to do my team are fab and I am looking forward to getting to know the London guys too. The one office are great but the other one are a bit stand offish.  They will love meeeeee ha ha ha 

Gosh I am struggling so much with the diet I am thinking of doing herbal life again. Bob is not in a happy place with work and he is also an emotional eater same as me and i am easily led ha ha but I need to be firm and stand my ground I want to lose 3 stone by Aug hmmm not going to do that being wishy washy. 

BeckyA thinking of you hun hope you are ok 

Hopeful hope you are ok and you are building yourself back up 

Bexter glad the move has gone well and I hope you are taking it slow young lady lol that's me being stern. Oh stupid drunk people and you just know when you announce that you are she will be all like I knew I knew I said before didn't I me me me me me me me. Does anyone remember live and kicking there was a comic character on that called the anorak and he would always say 'i know' ha ha 
Yay for potential doggy. I would highly recommend a mini schnauzer lol 

Poppy, i have to agree with your councillor i think you would make a great councillor/life coach. You have helped us all so much and have always been there to listen on here and text ** etc. My hairdresser is also my shrink ha ha I tell her everything and she gives fab advice too I guess you hear loads of different life stories lol I am looking forward to seeing her on Thursday 

Chixy hope the meds are treating you well not long till easter hold hols xx 

Have fab days tomorrow ladies 

Love ya
Jules
Xxxx


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## Bexter83

Morning Whippers 

Oh I just love these steroid tablets! When will I get more than 5 hours sleep an night??

*Kirstie*, wow it's all moving so fast, it's brilliant!! He he I love that your "running down the alcohol cupboard"&#128521;. You are hillarious ! Great thinking though, it's definietly logical, I mean your going to be moving house soon too and you dont want to be lugging that around with you, especially if you won't be able to drink it yourself too. Ooih I found a nice pregnancy drink when your out with friends and can't drink and water just gets so lame....a St Clements (OJ & bitter lemon) woohoo, party time . 
Sounds like your in Rocky mode and getting ready for your tx, running, eating lots of greens, that's fab&#128077;. Glad you had a good acupuncture session on Friday too. And yay, so pleased that Ralph is on board with the healthy fertility plan too. Less stress for you too, knowing he's doing his bit, rather than an added on stress to check up on him or feel like your nagging or anything like that, it just makes it a lot nicer when your in it together, than feeling on your own with it.
So no need to DR then, that's good because the Buserelin can give a few side effects (as you know), so any less drugs has got to be good. I feel really positive for you too. It's so exciting hun!! 
How's everything else been with you? Any Panto gossip? How's the property search going?
Awww thanks hun, I know your all thinking of me, I'm def feeling the love. It's been great this time. Because I know you ladies now and because we all understand what it's like, you all say and do the right things. 
Hehe, glad you enjoyed the rugby too, hmmmm beer&#128540;, I am missing that actually, ha ha. Oh gosh, Yep agree, a puppy would be double the mess, double the cleaning up time, not cool!! Maybe when your baby/babies are here you can enjoy a puppy. I think when kids come along, you slowly lose the cleaning OCD (that's what I'm hoping too, otherwise I will have a pig pen where they can play in and cannot escape), so maybe the tidyness/cleanliness standards slip a bit because otherwise it will be like painting the forth bridge.
Yep *Kirstie* & *Jules*, it was very annoying of my friend and she was more bothered about being right or being the first to know than what the actual subject was (if that makes sense?). Omg Jules, it was so like that!!  my friend who was there said again that the friend who was asking me (or talking at me, more like) wouldn't even look me in the face and had purced lips saying this (I noticed that and was so nice to know I wasn't imagining it). Anyways I suppose it doesn't matter but it's just that I don't even know myself . Well let's just hope she's right, eh! 
Jules, Live and Kicking  how do you remember that! Your so funny! I remember the name anorak but don't remember his saying .

Have missed your F5ing too *Jules*  But know your super busy. Yay, so glad your new job us going great and of course your team love you! How could they not!? Ha ha you will convert the London team too ..... Maybe you need a different Lego hair for the London team?&#128540; like a too cool for Skool side quiff with edgy specs or something? Is Herbal Life the shakes you were telling me about? Is your next weigh in tonight? I hope it goes well hun xxx. It is so hard to follow an eating plan when working so much and your travelling/working in London etc. awww big hugs to Bob. What dies he do for work? It's horrible when you gate your job and it makes you want to celebrate the weekends even more, more drinks etc, which dies t help the diet plan. Will Bob go on the herbal Life? So much easier when following a plan together.
Love a minature Schnauzer!! And we saw a Tibetian Terrior in the pub on Friday and fell in love with her too. I any 4 legged fury friend will be greatly appreciated (ok babe not a rodent).

*Poppy*, know weve been in touch lots but thinking of you and am really happy that the doctors went well. I have a picture here for you (see below) xxxx

*Chixy*, well done hun! That's amazing, from having such a big fear of needles and your new doing the jabs yourself, that's brilliant!! It's going so fast, not long until EC for you. Have you been ok though? Totally understand chick, thus journey is v difficult . You feel like you look at other parents and their kids and your first thoughts are the green eyed monster, why not us? Did they have a difficult journey? Instead of just seeing them, your confronted with issues and it's hard. Stay strong and your going to get there. 
I'm ok thanks lovely, I'm hoping so much that Pinky & Perky are snuggled in  . Am loving this place, the move went really well, am settled in and surrounded by great friends, so that's great .

Lottie, Tricia, Becky, Kazza, Hopeful, how are you all?

AFM, so I haven't been laying down or anything, I did have a good old clean yesterday (no chemicals/bleach) but not lifting anything heavy. But been quite busy. I had a 2day FET last sat (as you know) but inky really had twinges down there. I'm bit bloated and over the weekend I had a pulled muscle sensation around my belly button and a tender tummy, like it was bruised. Not really had that since but don't really know what I want to eat? I don't have any symptoms really, not sure really? Going to keep myself busy this week, roll on Saturday .
Ha ha loving it here though, my best bud is 7 mins away and I've seen her everyday, she's my wife now, lol. I went to her little boys swimming award thing yesterday and was so cute! And he painted us a picture for the flat, which is up (too cute). Jeez, I wish I had some warning though, I had to hide my feet underneath my handbag in the swimming baths, omg #mumprobs#. Right, I better let you girks go and paint my toenails .

Xxxxxxx


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## K.Notman

Good morning Whippers, another lovely day here in the Midlands; Blue skies and sunshine. Well it started like that yesterday and then went cloudy and dull. Luckily the rain held off until after my after-work run.

*Bexter*- I Love the picture you sent Poppy and I echo the sentiment. With the alcohol, DH rarely drinks so any drink in the house is usually my red wine of beer. I have one bottle of wine left which I'm taking to a Hen Do on Friday (Girl from Panto group) and I think I only have a couple of bottles of beer left. I know I won't touch a drop when I start my tx. We are helping friends move house this weekend and she has cocktails planned as a reward on the Saturday evening! I said it will probably be the last drink I have- hopefully for 9 months so we are happy to raise a glass to that! My non-alcoholic pub drink is lime & soda which happens to be really refreshing , cheap and very few calories too!
I love the 'Rocky' comparison! It makes me laugh how random my iPod shuffles tracks when I'm running. Status Quo have a very good beat to run too (just have to hold back on the shoulder shake, lol!). I sometimes actually laugh out loud when a track comes on "I see you baby, shakin that ****, shakin that ****&#8230;". I still don't enjoy running but I love how smug I feel afterwards. I stopped fewer times last night which is reassuring that I'm getting fitter! To encourage DH to raise his heart rate without going to a gym, out running etc, I've set him the challenge of simply waking up and down our stairs as many times as he can in 15 mins, then he can see if he improves each time he does it. Believe me, it's hard work so I always praise him when he does it (even though he behaves as if he has just done a marathon!). I'm thinking of getting him a heart-rate monitor to calculate his calories burnt so he can compare to how many bourbon biscuits he eats e.g. 20 times up/down stairs = 1 biscuit! Then he might think twice about what he eats!
I love your idea of putting a puppy and a child in a pen to contain mess! Does that work for husbands too?! Umm, I think it will be more the Forth Bridge analogy as that is my life at the moment anyway. I bet you are loving finding new places to put everything in your new home. I like it at Christmas when choosing the 'new places' for things. I'm glad you have got your friend so close, good times! 
Yep, I'm lucky I don't have to have Buserelin or any of that stuff. Just good ol' oestrogen for me. I do keep looking at my boobs to see if they are getting any bigger but sadly not. I hope you are not symptom spotting too much and just looking after yourself. Keep warm and drinking your water. I'm praying so hard for you that Saturday is good news.

*Jules*, I loved Live'n'Kicking! Saturday mornings aren't like that anymore (although I do love Saturday kitchen!). I know how hard the dieting is especially when you have temptations. We very nearly caved for a cone of chips on Sunday at Stratford but managed to resist without picnic of cucumber, cherry tomatoes and celery, ummmmm! 'Herbal Life' could work for you if you did it before. I know it's expensive but it's so controlled. You just have to keep yourself busy so you don't give up. Are you doing any activity- Zumba? Sorry to hear that Bob isn't happy in work. I hope there is something that he can do to change that. I'm glad your job is positive. Your teams will soon love you; as long as you are being yourself they'll appreciate the 'Jules' we know and love.

*Chixy*, I'm glad the jabs are just becoming routine now. I know my sister took an age in the morning mixing her powders. Keep going hun, you are right- EC will be here before you know it. I'm sending you lots of Follie-vibes ready for Friday. They have the flexibility to keep you going a bit further over the weekend if they need to. I'm glad the timing means you can be stress free over the holiday. I know you find it so hard to be around little ones and pregnant ladies. I'm praying it will be your turn soon. Stay strong and keep the faith. It was really good seeing J on Friday, we chat about all sorts! She worked wonders on my lining last time so I'm hoping for the same this time. I'll be doing the hot water bottle and hot foot soaks thing soon. Not in any rush though and taking it all in my stride. Yes we went to Stratford on the new motorbike (we got the lowering kit in the end!). I love having something more powerful to feel confident on. It's the first ride we did pillion and that felt a bit weird at first but we'll do a few day trips (as many as possible before possible pregnancy anyway). DH will be using it more to get to work in the better weather, which will save on fuel and time.

*Poppy*- I'm glad you are holding up ok. It's good you got signed off to give you time to heal. It's a great complement from the counsellor to suggest you could counsel too! You could always do a course and see how you feel. My uncle does voluntary work for Samaritans, taking phone calls. That would be good experience. I think I'd get way to emotionally involved though. They might even provide you training for free if you make enquiries. Anyway, I hope you and DW are ok and taking each day as it comes, that's all you need to do for now. Sending you massive hugs xxx

AFM, well if you remember back in November when my family were off on their amazing India trip- and my Dad's best friend had a heart attack that left him brain damaged in a vegetative state. Well very sadly he passed away this weekend. I suppose we have been grieving since November and this is a blessing to let him rest in peace. It's still a massive loss and my Dad is heavily involved in all of the arrangements. I know it's hard for him to cope with; being someone the same age and reminds us of our mortality. My Mum is retiring at Easter and I think he'll be winding down at work to a part-time basis, allowing me and the foreman to run the business. That's fine with me and I just want to see them enjoying life together. I want so so so so so much for them to be grandparents from me- they will be amazing! If we can be half the parents mine were to me then I'll be happy. I feel so blessed in my life and am very grateful for so much love and support I have, including you guys. I know we keep saying, it but really If it wasn't for this site, I'd feel so lonely through this. Every night I say a prayer for you all and I hope that we can all find happiness one way or another in the future. And on that note, I'll bid you all a lovely day. Group hug!


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## Lottie1802

Hey ladies!!!

Bexter I hope those little snow babies are getting all nestled in, glad to hear the move went well, can't wait to eat cake at your house! Look at me inviting myself round people's houses..I do that ha ha 

Poppy, glad the counselling has started, maybe you should do a course! You've counselled us lot enough eh   

Hey jules! I hope your settling into that job ok? 

Kirstie very sorry to hear of your dads friend , very true how grateful we all should be x x 

Chixy, keep those jabs up Mrs, nearly there and it'll all be worth it in the end x

Hi to everyone I've missed  

AFM, I got my redundancy so I leave on 10th April ...bit scary but hopefully we'll survive on one wage !! You've prob all seen my moans about my house, but the decorating is moving at a snails pace!!!! And I can't do much grrrr oh well, it'll be nice when we get there. We started a savings scheme so we can book a holiday in two years which is nice , I don't really have anything exciting to report   
Love n hugs to you all x x


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## Bexter83

Morning Whippers,

How are we all?

I'm not liking this week so much. I had been applying for work down here for a little while before we moved but now settled in, the reality that Ive really got to knuckle down and also go to the agencies (I'll book in/register next week) has hit me. It's exciting but I hope Im not an unconfident bundle of mess if it's bad news on Saturday. Could be a good distraction though. One day at a time, I think I need to tell myself. It always works out in the end .
Last few mornings have woken up feeling like oh it's not worked , after the weekend of having the pulled muscle feel, tender/bruised tummy. Having few AF sensations when waking up in bed, few icky feelings and not really knowing what I want to eat? but nothing really.. Anyways, 3 days to go. 
Got myself together and thinking more normal now , ha ha. My friend has called me and Mark's sent me a sweet text, so am feeling better . Going yo get my list of tasks and sort my life out, lol.

*Kirstie*, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your dads friend. Big hugs to you and the family. Your right, it's always a reminder of how fragile life can be and to make the most of every day we have. It must make your mums retirement and your dads passing on more if the business over to you guys that more important. Showing that work work work is not the be all and end all but the importance of enjoying your life too and having time for friends and family. 
Your parents will become grandparents, your on the rught track, not long now chicky, stay positive xxxxx
Lol  am picturing you running, shaking your shoulder to music and getting all these odd looks from people on the street, ha ha! Omg, know what you mean about that smug feeling after a run! It's amazing how quickly you can lose and get back fitness levels. I really want to find the country walks around here. We drove to the Amersham tesco last night, passing the fields and saw a tractor and it just feels like home, we're in no rush but countryside is the way for us for our future home. I need to be chased by horny horses and scary sheep  (that came out a bit wrong).
That's a really good idea! Yeah get Ralph one of those monitors, that's always so encouraging. Ha ha, more steps, less Bourbon biscuits . 
Ha ha, I think the pen is a good idea, I mean I'll take it down when the social worker is here, hehe. Could always make it a bit bigger and stuck the husband in there too, can't see why not&#128540;. I don't think pig pens are cruel, OCD is a condition, lol. If I'm around babies and kids in friends houses, Im always tidying up and putting the toys and books back that they are keep getting out. It totally freaks me out, I'm like, let's just read this one shall we, whilst their grabbing every single thing out from a cupboard. I'll have to wear a tool belt loaded with a cleaning kit, like a baby wipe pouch, ready for any mess. 
Hmmmm fresh lime & soda, that's a good one too&#128077;, hopefully we'll be drinking these for the next 9 months . 
That's not much alcohol , I was imagining loads, that could be done in a night, go for it girl .
Sounds like you have a lovely weekend planned, hope you have a great time! is the Hen party fancy dress? 
That's great news, just the legal highs of Estrogen . Yep the estrogen didn't do anything to my boobs either. It's all happening so fast, really not long now .
Thank you so much for your love,y words and prayers, means so much xxxx

*Lottie*, hehe, your always welcome hun....tea & cake available to you any time&#128540;. You'll be fine chicky, when we have yo tighten our belts financially, we realise how much we used spend a fiver here, a tenner there all the time but actually sometimes the more we have, the more we spend/waste. You'll get lots of enjoyment spending time, watch your babies grow up and appreciate the occasional meals out and things, rather than taking randomly going out all the time/meals out often for granted which we can do. Oooh a nice holiday yo look forward to would be great!! Exciting stuff hun!
Can't wait to get a date in the diary to meet up again .

*Chixy*, how are you getting on?

Poppy hun, how are you doing? Lots of love xxxxxxx


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## hopeful1985

Bexster just popping on quick being naughty at work... i had that tight tummy pull feeling and it was a BFP so fingers crossed xxx


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## Bexter83

Thanks *Hopeful*   Xxxxx hope your keeping well hun, thinking of you xxx


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## Chixy

oooh *Bexter* it sounds all very promising - good to hear from *Hopeful* who can confirm similar symptoms. It is understandable to have a wobble or two during the dreaded two week wait.  that BFP will appear on Saturday. Keep with the positivity - you are doing so well hun  It sounds like you live quite close to the countryside already? DH and I dream of living out in the countryside too. We moved two years ago and where we presently live is bordering the countryside, so one more step and hopefully we will be there!!

*Kirstie* I am so sorry to hear that your dad's friend has lost the fight against his illness. It does put life into prospective and I think your parents are doing the right thing in looking at retirement - life is far too short. You will be great at running the business and I know your dad will know he is leaving it in good hands. Since my new job i have get a much better work life balance and even recently got a pay rise so all looking up. You put me to shame with your running and fitness routine - keep at it lovely. Have you got any plans for Easter?

*Jules* This new job has made you go very quite on here hun. Hope you are ok and the weigh in this week went well.

*Poppy* Thinking o you lovely and hope you are ok?

*BeckyA, Lottie, Tricia, Hopeful and Kazza* hope you are all well and you have got some exciting things planned for Easter.

I have felt quite bloated today - i am hoping this is a good sign with lots of juicy follies. I cannot believe that I have got a scan on Friday where I will know (hopefully) that all is going well and when EC might be. It is looking like it might be Monday or Wednesday next week - eek - how has this seem to have come around so fast? getting very nervous by the prospect of going down this route AGAIN - scared and apprehensive. (mostly scared of failing again). I have had the munchies today - no will power and regret everything that I have eaten grrr. I work with a lovely lady who is also a vicar. Next week she has organised for me to meet her at church where she is going to pray with me (sounds silly I know but hoping this may help me focus) She plans to also use some ointments too. Different - but hopefully calming and comforting. I have got to say that with this being our forth attempt I have felt a lot calmer - i do think that my new job has helped lots because at the moment it is a lot less stressful. Some morning I have got ready and nearly left work when I suddenly realised I had not done my injections - eh oh!!! On Friday I finish work for two weeks - I am really looking forward to having that time away from work. It means that I can focus on EC and the rest of the treatment without having to worry about getting time off for work. I am hoping to catch up with friends and possibly be a lady that does lunch/ and even go to Shrewsbury or possibly Leamington on a shopping trip - however we usually go out for the whole day - if hopefully I am PUPO do you think this is wise? As we will be on a feet walking around for most of the day or should I not go Advise/ opinions would be much appreciated.

Sending you all big 

Chixy xxxx


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## poppy05

Hi girls


Kirstie im so very sorry to read of the sad news about your Dads friend, he certainly put up a fight though eh? i remember when he was in hospital whilst your family were away, sending love to you and your family hunni   


Bexter, Its all sounding positive babes, hang in there, you are doing really well   the last bit is the hardest, as you know now its done, its literally a waiting game, but enjoy being pupo, and saturday will give you the news you so deserve     




chixy wow ec next week! thats come round so quick, sending follie vibes hunni,    keep up the water and hot water bottle   


Hopeful i hope you are feeling ok my lovely   


lottie, im glad you got your redundancy, is there something you could do at home to earn some cash? 
hope the babies are growing well   


tricia how are you hunni? bet your sporting a magnificent mummy tummy now? hope mr t and mil are both doing ok   


kazza hows you hun?   


Hello to anyone ive missed   


AFM, nothing much to report, had a pretty active day today, i did feel very anxious going shopping on my own today, but i made myself go, and although i was glad to get out, at least i did it.
i have started my diet, im doing slim fat for a bit i hate dieting as we all do, and i like to see it come off quick, but i know it wont stay off, so once ive lost 1-2 stone i am going to join slimming world, i did that years ago, and it was a very good diet, i hate weight watchers, but slimming world seemed to be a good one for me.
we did our first walk today, i was a bit annoyed, the muscle in my bum is very painful from the gestone, and i'd only been walking about 3 minutes and the pain was unbelievable, it sent shooting pains down my leg, but i made myself continue and i walked just under 2 miles, which is better than nothing i guess, i will go again tomorrow, im going to put some voltarol on my bum first to see if that helps!! im determined to shift this chub!!!


I have my councelling tomorrow, im looking forward to going and having a chat about how ive been feeling this week, its good to get it all out.


Thankyou again all of you for being there for me


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## Lottie1802

Poppy, I did slimming world and its the only diet where the weight seemed to stay off for ages ! Good for you, im joining it as soon as the babies are here I think its great x and well done for getting out and about, I saw your walk route on ** ! Im gonna get into a bit of walking when im off , its lovely now summer is on its way 

Bexter sounding good , hopefully everything is getting all snuggly in there for you 

Chixy good luck with your scan friday, hopefully all those follies are ripe for you 

AFM my old boss contacted me and wants me to start temping for her the day after I leave my job! Hows that for timing , it means I keep busy and dont need to touch my redundancy money until the babies arrive !! Everything happens for a reason girls! Now im better off than I ever would of been if i'd stayed in that job ...and happier more importantly!


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## Bexter83

Morning Whippers,

Yay huge congrats *Lottie*! That's wonderful news, am so happy for you. It's funny how things work out in the end, isn't it and often better than it was. Mark had a bit if a result with redundency in 2011 and worked out amazingly. It's just one of those scary things (the unknown) and especially with bubbas soon on the way, it must had been quite scary but it's worked out brilliantly. Your still going to come over fur tea & cake, you can bring your work lap top with you, hehe xxx.
Your bubbas like to party I notice , hope yoyr still getting your rest and yoyr feeling good and well xxx.

*Poppy*, hope today's councselling goes well , another step forward and some emotional baggage left behind and you feel lighter from it. That's a really good idea. I might try that. To do a quick strict diet and then one to maintain afterwards. Hope you get on well with it. Supporting you all the way. Xxx voltarol sanding!! Hopefully it will ease the gestone lumps a bit.

*Chixy*, I'm sure you have lots of lovely ripe follies (don't worry about the bloat, it will go down quickly). Let us know how you get on at your scan tomorrow. Can't believe how quickly EC has come around, so Monday or Wednesday . It is a scary thing to jump into, you spend all this time fixing yourself back together again, to go in again head first but you've got to be in it to win it and just have to go for it. Treat yourself, stay strong and your closer to your dream than you were before you started this tx. We're here for you and holding your hand through it xxx.
Your prayer session at the church next week could be really good for you and give you lots of strength. This is such an emotional journey that it's about finding ways to get through it. It's weird, my first cycle and when I was stimming in jan, I was praying a lot, lighting candles, felt very spiritual, I would cry a lot but this FET I feel very distant and disconnected. I've not really looked at the pics if my embies. I can't feel emotional, it's like a block, I can't get into the zone at all. Strange. 
You sound like your in a really good place with your work being less stressful and yoyr more happy, I have lots of confidence in your cycle.
I think your shopping trip should be fine but I probably wouldnt walk all day. Would it be possible to meet your friebds for half the day or just for the lunch and say you have to leave? Or find things to do which give lots of seated breaks? 
Your time off work sounds lovely. Do you have any plans or are you just going to take it easy, watch lots of movies and things?
Thanks hun , am hanging in there. The lister gave me today as OTD but I know that if it were negative, I would had re tested on sat, so don't want to go through that mental torture. Mine was a day 2 transfer and think 2 weeks from transfer should give me the true outcome. 
Where we moved to is really really nice and suburban, not too far from fields. It's always a good test abd whilst renting, is great to be around the corner from friends but we will be looking at more rural places to buy, it's more us really.

How is everyone? *Jules*, miss your bum wiggles .

Hope everyone is well, thinking of you all.

AFM, thanks for all your lovely, postive and confident messages, I totally feel like I'm jinxing it now. Ah well, 2 days til we know. I just hope I still feel strong and confident to go again ASAP if not the outcome hoped. Typical, am 10 mins away from the clinic I have been using this whole time and we says if need to carry on, we're going to look at cheaper options, like the one in Norway. Anyways, no pount me worrying about this yet.

Xxxxx


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## K.Notman

Good morning everyone, nice to see some posts to read!

*Bexter *- you are being so strong to wait until Saturday- patience of a saint! I think it's good that you feel more chilled out this time (all my Bob Marley helped obviously!). Don't get thinking about next time! I hope you have 2 sticks ready to pee on in case of a dud.

*Lottie *- OMG that's fantastic news about your job, how perfect! I'm so happy for you. As you say, it all happens for a reason and you have come out smiling. I hope the little ones aren't giving you too much discomfort.

*Poppy*- thank you for your kind thoughts. The funeral is not until 14th as his daughter lives in LA and needs to avoid Easter to be able to afford flights over here. There are also LOADS of arrangements to be made as he was a larger than life character so it is going to be a massive Service and celebration of life. I'm doing the order of service and trying to offer help to unburden my Dad who has so much to do. 
I'm glad you are getting out and about, the fresh air and exercise is very good for you. The healthy eating is a good tool to feel in control of your life but be careful not to put too much pressure on yourself. Enjoy the counselling today, getting things off your chest and having a good chat. ((hugs))

*Chixy*- OMG Friday! Well you did really well with follies and eggs last time so this should be no different. I'll be thinking of you (sat behind the pillar in the waiting room, or will it be the naughty seat?!). I think you should definitely go out with your friends, the kind of walking you do shopping is not like going for a hike and will be really good for circulation. As long as you plan in a break or two you'll be fine. I'm really glad the timing of the holiday has worked out for you. I'm looking forward to our next lunch date! I'm so pleased the stress-free element of the new job is making you feel in a better place this time too. There is a lot less anxiety when you know what's involved and you can take it all in your stride.

*Jules, Tricia, BeckyA, Lottie, Kazza and Hopeful*, you are still in my thoughts. I hope you are all well and have a good day: Friday-Eve!

*AFM*, Well the hospital got back to me this morning with my dates! YAY!  

So, I'm currently on regular HRT tablets (1mg oestrogen daily),
I'll continue on this until my bleed due on day 21 next week. 
I'll have a scan on 9th April to check all is healthy and will pick up my prescription and start taking the higher dose oestrogen protocol for my tx (12mg daily). 
I'll have another scan on 17th April to measure endometrium thickness. 
My donor's EC will be week beginning 27th providing her follies respond to the stimms well enough and DH will be called in for his 'deposit'! 
I'll then be waiting by the phone to hear about the ET which could be 1stMay (just in time for a chilled bank holiday weekend!).

So it's healthy living for the next month- after this weekend anyway! 
I've started contributing to the thread for DE cycle April/May as people will be doing donor tx the same as me. But they are all on injections I'm so grateful I just pop my pills. The hospital were all fine with the way things went on my part last time so if it ain't broke, don't fix it!

Kirstie xXx


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## Bexter83

Omg *Kirstie*, you have dates!! Soooooooo exciting!!   . I'm still on the estrogen tablets & patches   Let me need to stay on all these things. Kirstie, it's really hit me today, omg I'm s!?#ing myself now! 
Xxxxx


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## jules418

Hello beautiful ladies 

Sorry I am not about much any more stupid new job lol ok I am loving it there so so so busy it is fab I feel alive again but I do feel I am neglecting you all xxx here are some special bum wiggles     

Poppy, lovely to read you are getting out and about but careful not to over do things and get mad at your self a dropping tap will still fill the bath as they say. How did you get on today with your counsellor? 

Kirstie, so sorry to hear about your dad's friend. Lovely of you to be helping your dad and I wouldn't expect any less from you, you are a warm and loving woman xxx
Super excited about your news how quick is this happening Yay had a huge smile on my face all afternoon and feel bursting with joy for you xxx

Lottie,  Woweee the universe is certainly looking after you hun and damn right it should be too hee hee. My sister was made redundant and just after she got her official letter she got offered a new job and she is so happy it is fab to see xxx loving seeing all your ice cream pics lol 

Chixy, Yay for EC next week yours also seems to have gone super quick although maybe not for you lol. I'm ok babe just really busy although it is nice having a few feeds to read upon than just f5-ing all day wondering why people were not typing when I wanted to read and chat ha ha ha 

Bexter, oh hunni so close now eeek 2 sleeps and you will be fine and we will all be holding your hand on sat morning.... The one not holding the pee sticks ha ha 
So glad to hear you are settling in to the flat I know it must be hard to stay away from the cleaning products lol soon you will have your dream home in the 'sticks' and I am looking forward to a visit tea and cake home made in the country kitchen ha ha although I have a feeling I shall be placed in the pig 🐖 pen too 

Hopeful how are you hunni lovely to see you on here we have missed you xxx

BeckyA how are things in Spain is it getting warmer over there now? 

Tricia, kazza hope you are keeping well 

Afm, not much to report as I said I am loving the new job, I am in London every Wednesday and alternate between high Holborn and London bridge. I broke the ice with the two I was struggling to bond with and all it took was some m&s yum yums he he. I had a loss at SW this week so going in the right direction however I am tempted with thebodycoach plan the results are amazing on instagram. Erm what else.... Oh had my hair done lol she said Oooo that's better is like liquid gold lol ill take that 

Have a great week every one love you lots 

Jules xxxx


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## Kazza79

Hi all

Sorry I haven't been on in ages, it's madness at the moment  

Poppy- I'm pleased you are doing well with the counsellor and I can defo see where she is coming from, you would make a brill councillor hun   But this time us for you first so think about yourself first xxxx

Bexter- you are doing so well hunny not long to wait now   xxx

Kirstie- do sorry to hear about your dads friend hun xxxx

Lottie- omg great news hun and defo everything happens for a reason xxx

Chixy-  good luck next week hun it's gone do quick xxx

Jules- hi hun how are you? Glad your new job is going well xxx

Tricia, Becky and hopeful I hope you are all ok xxx

AFM- had blood test as Baby is very large but all seems normal blood sugar wise but I have to see the next consultant in a week or so and they are scaning me every 4 weeks till delivery, I have ages to go but feel full term already   ,


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## Bexter83

Morning Whippers,

Flipping heck, I've been so calm this whole time and these last 2 days are awful! I'm dreading it, I do actually feel sick and the left side of my stomach is in knots (v strange, I Know) right now. I'm so scared to test. I felt v low and was scared of getting depression again and was doing everything to stop it when I got my bfn last time, that I'm scared to possibly get that fear again. What can I do? have to test, it's unavoidable. Then I was tossing and turning since 3am thinking to test this am or not and few hrs later just went for a pee (sorry tmi) and that decision was made for me.

*Jules*, thank you Xxx. I found a non bleach cleaner (Eco something) and attacked the bits which have been bothering me, looks better but not as good as bleach, I want shiny shiny!! 
I won't put you in the pen , yoyr always welcome over for tea & cake xxx
Hmmmm yum yums, that had to work, hehe. I'm so glad your job is going so well, it's fantastic!!! Can't wait to meet up in London. 
Fab news about the loss at SW too and new hair too! Check you out Miss Thang! 
Xxxxxxxx


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## BeckyA

whippers!! and happy friday! 
sorry been awol, thanks for keeping me in your thoughts, it's the end of term and it's MANIC! I have to look at all the end of term reports before they are sent out, and we have nearly 700 students!! Still, just got work today (afternoon only on Fridays) and then three days next week and I am off for 10 days! Woop!! Amazingly it snowed here this week (WTF?), but the sun is trying to come out today.

*chixy*, hope you have had some good follie news today.

*bexster*, eek, one more day hunni, I shall be straight on FF tomorrow to see your good news!!  

*lottie*, great news about the temp job, as one door closes another opens they say.

*poppy*,hope you are doing OK and your session has been helpful this week. I too need to lose some weight and get fit. i've been reading up on the fasting diet (5:2) and think am going to persuade Oscar to join me on it after Easter hols are out the way!

*jules*,yey for loving your new job! haven't seen a pic on ** of your new hair, did you put one up??!!

*kazza*, assume as long as baby in within percentiles you are OK? hope goes OK at consultants. i wouldn't look forward to pushing a biggun out!! 

*kirstie*,so sorry to hear about your dad's close friend. always sad. how lovely of you to help.
super excited for you that your treatment is so close!!! 1st May will be here in a blink of the eye. Fantastic news!

*tricia* and *hopeful*,hope you lovely ladies are OK.

AFM, well I kinda said it already above!! We are going on a very short break over the Easter weekend - 3 days in Palma Mallorca and 2 days in Valencia, can't wait!
Also, a very good friend of mine has also started her first ivf this week, she's DRing on buserilin at the moment. I did tell her to join FF and cycle buddies, but she's a bit shy so I don't know if she will. I am trying to support her as well.


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## Bexter83

*Becky*, sounds hectic your end but be great to have 10 days off soon, that would be lovely! Your weekend break sounds dreamy, utter bliss! I hope you get more sun than snow though. Spain + snow, v strange. Heard northern Spain cam get quite chilly though actually. I'm sure your friend will really appreciate your support on her cycle, it's lovely that she will have you there for her.

Ladies, put your phones on silent tonight, i think it will be an early start for me and don't want to wake you up. PMA bashings will be greatly appreciated, lol. Or a really big punch in the face which knocks me out until I'm 3 months pregnant, please....thanks xxx


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## poppy05

Evening all


Just wanted to wish Bexter all the very best for tomorrow, i sincerely hope with all my heart its good news for you      we will all be holding your hand sweetheart, i know how nervous you are feeling, deep breaths, and dont pee on your hand!!!!    sending you all my love, and im praying so hard for you right now    xxxxxxx


BeckyA, i hope you have a lovley break away, sounds really nice hun, and yes wtf to snow?!! that can do one! and dont send it here!!   


chixy any follie news babe? hope you have a date for ec   


kazza sending hugs    i hope your appt with consultant goes well, are you getting that c section booked?    


lottie, what great news about the job, really pleased for you   


jules, im so pleased to hear you are enjoying your new job, we miss you here, but its good to know you are happy babe   


kirstie, oooh its getting a bit real now they are throwing some dates at you    with you every step of the way my lovely xx


tricia, you have been quiet babes, hope everything is ok   


sending my love to you all   


AFM, dare i say it, but ive had quite a good day today, i managed to go food shopping, again by myself and i didnt have a panic attack, im not sure if its because i used a supermarket closer to home? but whatever it was worked, as i felt ok, a bit wobbly when i first went in, but i was ok after a couple of minutes, and i felt a bit twitchy waiting at the checkout, but i managed to ward off any freak outs!
the weather has been beautiful today, and that makes me feel better, ive had the door open all day, dogs have been in and out, its been lovely.
diet is going well, we have both stuck to it, i know its only been 3 days, but normally by now i would of eaten at least 1 thing i shouldnt, i made the most yum dinner tonight, vic bought home a massive block of feta cheese, so i thought we cant have salad everyday for the next month!! so i made a greek lentil and feta casserole, omg it was delish!! and only 240 calories a portion!


My counselling yesterday went well, i actually dont feel i am going to need many more sessions, i know my feelings could change, but i came out feeling that she has helped me in making my decision re adoption, she's made me realise that all my mummy dreams can all still come true, i will just achieve them in a different way, and vicki and i have decided to wait 6 months to get me stronger, and in a better place, and we will apply to adopt, it gives me time to grieve and get over whats happened, and it also gives us time to research things, as i know nothing about adopting, we have even spoken about maybe going to an open evening.
Im still struggling to come to terms with never being pregnant, and never knowing what baby kicks, labour, breast feeding, will feel like, so i am trying to tell myself i would of hated it, cos its painful!! im going to get my perfect son or daughter without the pain!! 


I am dreading going back to work, i know ive still got a month to go, but i am loving being at home, im being a proper wifey, im making so much effort to not sit in pyjamas all day watching one born every minute on repeat!!!! 
ive been cooking dinner, doing the housework, i dont get time to do alot normally, its going to be tough going back, if we didnt need the money i wouldnt be going!


I had a bit of an accident in the chocolate aisle in sainsburys today!    as in i ram raided it!!!   
my mums bestfriend and her son are coming over next week from Ireland, and i have got them all coming to dinner easter sunday, so i began thinking it would be nice to put an easter egg on everyones placemat, then i decided that the smartie easter chicks were cute so they all got one of those to go with the easter egg, then i decided i needed to go back in the £ shop to buy the bright coloured easter basket they had, and i ended up spending £10 on assorted sized eggs to fill my basket!!    Bexter will tell u, i showed her the pic!!! haha omg i hope they all eat some, cos we are on diets! we have given ourselves a target though, if we lose 7lb by next sat, then we get a treat of an easter egg!! 
anyone got any dessert ideas? i always make lemon or cherry cheesecake, or eton mess, im hoping for a lower calorie option, but not too bothered i want it to be jice for our guests, im not really a dessert person, so never really experiment too much, i'd rather have a cheese board than dessert.


Anyway i'll shut up now    
have a great weekend girlies, much love xxxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Thanks Poppy, I'm feeling ok, Marks here and I had been thinking tomorrow's result will be what I've been working towards since 08/12/14, so it has been quite scary. I had been stressing thinking that both diff protocols I still only ended up with only 2 embies to choose from, although having 8 follies first time & 12 follies this time. I just feel like I don't know what's best for me, or where to go after this if this doesn't work. But have just had words with myself and kniw have to deal with whatever happens. 

I know we've spoken quite a bit today so you know how I feel and am very proud of you and how fab your doing. Still sending you lots of big hugs  .
Omg, I had to look at your picture again, it's hilarious!!  You are the Easter Bunny !! And the Mod Father, lol . I think your going to have all of us over next year, bring your baskets girls . 
Loving your idea of putting the Easter egg on the placemats, nice little touch.
I'm so bad with deserts, sorry, I have no idea so font think I'll be of any help to you on that one. 
Your feta lentil dish sounds right up my street, would love the recipe on that! 
Great work and will power with your diets too . Your doing so well .

Xxxxx


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## jules418

Evening ladies

grrrr annoyed did a lovely msg earlier (whilst at work sshhhhh) and I tried to attach this pic and it was too big and wiped my text nooooooo haa haa..

but I shall attempt it again... ish... 

Poppy, so lovely to hear you today you sound a lot brighter and I know you will have dip and troughs but days like today really as so positive and show the strong stuff you are made of. Your session yesterday sound very promising good idea to keep going for a few more and you will know when you have a session and be like actually I don't need this any more but had a lovely chat non the less. the 6mth break sounds very wise too.
Puddings wise, we do an eaton mess with meringue nests, fat free yogurt (we like greek) and loads of fruit you may need some sweetner however muller lights are fab but they don't agree with me  in fact there are some lovely slimming world recipes on line most contain quark which is rank but ok mixed with other stuff.
hee hee I have you in my head dressed as an easter bunny hopping along hee hee

Aww bexter, am totally having my phone on LOUD haa haa. I tell you after 10 mins you will be putting me in the pen and maybe even outside haa haa

BeckyA, your few days away sound lovely it is going to be a bit nippy over here so I am sure Mallorca will be nicer (understatement of the century lol) 

Kazza - wowzer I hope you have been doing your pelvic floor exercises hee hee seriously though I am glad that they are keeping an eye on your progression  

I haven't had anything drastic done to my hair just my roots sorted and a bit cut off more than normal but only as a tidy up. see attached for mid treatment visual haa haa if anything will give you all a giggle. 
I sent this to my SIL as we send each other random face pulling pics haa haa. 

New job is ace I sooooo love it. It is that feeling of achieving something and I haven't had that feeling for a very long time so sorry if I bore you all to death haa haa. 

Have a beautiful weekend ladies 

Jules
xxxx


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## poppy05

Jules please tell me that isnt a highlighting cap on your head?    love the pic tho!    like random funny face pics xx




Bexter and anyone else, heres my Greek lentil and feta casserole recipe


1 cup of green lentils
1 large or 2 small diced onions
2-3 cloves of crushed garlic
2 cups of veg stock, i used veg oxo
1tsp greek oregano
1tsp of greek herbs (mine are actually from greece so god knows what they are lol)
freshly ground black pepper
1 tin of chopped tomatoes
1 red bell pepper diced small
1green bell pepper diced small
3/4 cup of crumbled feta cheese


add the lentils, onions, garlic, herbs, black pepper and stock into a casserole dish
cover and cook on 190f for 45 mins


uncover and stir in the tin of chopped tomatoes, and cook for a further 15 minutes, at this point you will taste it and be temptd to add salt, dont, the feta will sort that out!


add the peppers and  2/3 of the feta and stir into the casserole, then sprinkle the remaining cheese over the top, place back in the over uncovered for another 15-20 mins, i found 15 mins was enough.


This dish was so tasty, tonight was the first time i had made it, i am going to tweek it next time and probably add mushrooms and courgettes, and possibly a bit of fresh chilli to spice it up a bit, and i will make a bit less, and have it with a grilled salmon steak, it makes a nice change to rice or potatoe, and the usual veg or salad, it said on the recipe it serves 4, and its 240 calories per serving, but i think even adding in some diced chicken breast this would be nice, although we have said we are going to have a meat free dinner at least once a week, so i know this can go on the meat free list, im going to try courgette and feta fritters next week, honestly you wont believe the size of this feta block vic bought home!! haha 


Let me know if you make this dish, and i hope you enjoy it, we loved tonights dinner xx


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## jules418

Lol poppy it is one of them plastic bag caps rather than the rubber ones but I love how she does it I prefer it to the foils. 

Ooo the recipe sounds lush will defo give that a go. 

Am on the hunt for a yummy dessert for you now lol 

Jxx


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## Bexter83

Love the random picture Jules, omg your expression just cracks me up !
That's sooooo annoying when that happens....usually does when severe PMT kicks in too&#128545;. You did well to write again though.
So happy your new job is going so well  it's great! You seem so happy, it's lovely to hear. xxx
Apologies in advance for the alarm clock&#128513;. Ha ha, I'm sure your trusted outside of the pen, Ha ha.

*Poppy*, thanks loads for that   Am going to make it in the week and I'll send yiu a picture if it! It sounds sooooo good! Xxx


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## Kazza79

Hi all 

Bexter- wanted to say a massive good luck for tomorrow hun I will be checking as soon as I wake up   Are you aiming for 1 min past midnight lol ? Xxx

Jules- your pic cracked me up lol love it xxx

Poppy- you sound so much better now hun and it's great things are making more sense for you now   Xxx

Hello to everyone else and hope you are all ok xxxx


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## Bexter83

It's a BFN from me   xxxxxx


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## jules418

so sorry to hear bexter I was so feeling a p For you 
Xxxxxxxx
You know where I am and any time xxxx


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## Lottie1802

I know we've text bexter but you know where we are and im.sending massive massive hugs and cake and tea x x x 

Poppy, I loved your post, im so chuffed your picking yourself up, and your putting me to shame , its actually making me look forward to losing some weight and starting to feel myself again. As for your easter dinner party it sounds a lovely idea, I have a load of slimming world cook books, I will try and see if there are some nice puddings, my mother in law does a slimming world version of eton mess and its lush! She puts it in big sundae glasses and its really impressive! 
And as for the adoption, its still something we may look at in the future, we just think it is such an amazing gift to give a child, a happy and safe home and people that love them, we know people that have been adopted and when you hear the love when they speak of their adopted parents its so touching! 

Jules good to see you back! Boo for the wiped text !!!

Love to everyone as always


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## Chixy

*Bexter* I am so sad to hear your news. I really had a good feeling it was going to work for you this time. My heart goes out to you and I send you big hugs hun    

I will write another update a little later. I just wanted to let *Bexter* know that I am thinking of you. Life is poo at times.


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## BeckyA

Oh *bexster*, i am gutted for you. Its not fair.


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## Bexter83

Thank you so much ladies, your all so lovely and you've made this so much better xxxx loves ya chickens   .
It is crappy but I just want to get there. Have had a little cry but I'm so glad I tested when mark was at home, it's such a comfort. I've left a voice message at the clinic to know where to go from here and book in a review so I can move forwards and start again. 
Mark and I are laughing and giggling at things though, so I know we're going to be ok and once off these steroids, I'm sure I'll catch up on sleep too, which will be nice too. 
Poppy, have put the ingredients on the shopping list already for your lentil dish to make, can't wait!! Won't be able to blame those pessaries for wind now though, haha.
Hope you find a nice desert recipe too. 

Xxxxxxxx


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## poppy05

Bexter     im gutted for you babe, its so unfair, i hate that we are and have been theough all of this, none of us deserve this crap!!! 
Im glad you are able to look forward to another try, but its still so bloody unfair.
have lots of cuddles this weekend, eat crap, and know that we are all here for u, sending my love to u both my lovely girl xxxxx


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## Bexter83

Thanks Poppy hun xxxxx it is a cruel journey. I left a voice message and text the clinic this am, but I have a feeling the consultant is in Australia on his holiday he mentioned before. I wasn't given instructions on how to wean off the steroids, so I've just stopped all meds. 
I've just seen an advert today for the below and have emailed to book to go (will be interesting). I just want to have my review, know where to go from here, test what needs tested and then be able to compare clinics/prices/packages etc.

http://www.thebridgecentre.co.uk/events_and_courses/open_evenings

Xxxxxxxx

/links


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## Chixy

*Jules*[/b] love the picture!! Great to hear how much you are loving your new job. It is mad that I am now doing a job that seems a little less taxing on me - giving me a better work - life balance, compared to my old job where I was fit for nothing by the end of the day!! My line manager however has just gained her qualification in teaching of the visually impaired so she is now Vi and hearing impaired specialist. I am gutted because she has just got a new job that she will start in September. I love working with her and now know that I will be left to run the hearing impaired base now. I just needed to wok with her a little longer first to get familiar with everything first - hey ho - I hope I can do a good enough job once she leaves  At least I have made a great friend with her. I have been carrying my wish stone around with me everywhere. I also plan to take with me when I go in for EC eek.

*Poppy* I am pleased to hear that the counselling sessions you have had are being beneficial to you and that you can find comfort in not giving up your dream of motherhood - even though it is not the route you intended. I am a great believer in thinking it is always better to regret something you have done than something you haven't - And so I think you can safely say that you have definitely given it your all in trying to get pregnant through the aid of IVF and so therefore should not look back -later in life and have regrets. You are so strong and an inspiration to us all hun 

*Bexter* I am sure today has been very tough for you and Mark. I hope you are able to look after each other and I hope that you will not give up on your dream. 

*Kirstie* Have you gone out on your new bike this weekend? Thank you for all your support and keeping me level headed. You are doing so well with getting your exercise in and watching what you are eating. I am also loving the new parking space you have told me about - i feel like I am saving a fortune from no longer having to park in the hospital multi -story. The prices for parking at the hospital are extortionate. And when the weather is dry and the sun is shining it is nice to walk - and to be fair it is not that far (only a few more yards than walking to the multi-storey car park anyway. Thank you for sharing that great parking place.

*Lottie* Great news about your redundancy money and then another job comes a long that fits in with your present life style - perfect.

*Kazza*Wow with the big baby - Hopefully you can get a plan put in place for the birth.

*BeckyA* Sounds perfect getting away for a few days. I love going on holiday and just getting away from it all for a few days.

*Tricia* I hope you are ok and DH and MIL are getting better. We haven't heard from you for a while on here.

Well ladies I am in a little bit of shock because yesterday I had my scan. I have some 'blossoming' follies (as Jules and `Kirstie describe them!!) The consultant looked back at my previous cycles and commented that she thinks i am like clock work!! - I manage to get a cluster of follies but previously I would have them varying in size and have to continue stimming for a few more days where EC would then be booked in for a Wednesday. This time the follies are all of a similar size and I have had my last stimms meds today and have been told to do my trigger tonight at 9:30pm YIKES!!!! So ladies i cannot believe it but I am booked in for my EC on Monday at 10:30 am (injection at 9:30pm tonight instead of 10:30 because of the clocks going forward on Sunday!! It is also my mother's birthday on Monday too!! The consultant also said that I would probably have less number of eggs but I am hoping this will mean quality of quantity?? So girls if all goes well and to plan I could be PUPO by Wednesday eeeeek!!!  I am lucky enough to get a BFP and get to full term!!

Wishing you all a lovely weekend

Love Chixy xxx


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## poppy05

wow chixy thats brilliant news babe,    so,pleased everything is going to plan for you, and yes def quality not quantity, as long as you have a good embie(s) to transfer next week, thats the main thing, i cant cope with all these pupo whippers!!!!! bloody heck, kirstie next!!!!    sending my love and praying this is the one hunni


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## Kazza79

Bexter- I'm so sorry hun I really hoped it was your time   Massive hugs hun xxxxx


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## tricia1012

Hello lovely ladies  
Sorry I've been mia for a while I've popped on and had a quick nosey every now and then but I'm always just on my phone and the typos do my head in !!  Lol 

Bexter - I know we've been in touch already but just wanted to send you my love again and loads of massive  hugs . When your ready and the times right you know I'm here with tons of info for you to bug your docs with I became a pro at it this cycle  you and mark take care if yourselves this weekend loads of treats xx

Chixy - that's  great news best if luck Hun it's all sounding great   xx

Jules - I'm glad your loving your new job   well done with your loss at sw , my friend had a body coach and she lost so much weight and became so healthy that now she's one herself ! Xx

Becky - how are you ? Hope all is well xx

Lottie - know were always in touch but couldn't not give you a mention  hello lol xx

Kazza -I feel your pain lovely and amazing as it is I feel like I weigh about 20 stone getting to full term is going to be scary lol 🙈 xx

Hopeful- hope your well xx

Sorry to anyone I've missed thinking of you all  xx

Been so lazy lately falling asleep all the time sorry I've neglected you ladies I'll be popping on more often now  off to bed now seens as we are being robbed of an hour tonight  but thank god it's Sunday no work yay !! 

Enjoy the rest of your weekends xx


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## tricia1012

Poppy!! I was writing a lil bit for you then I wanted to scroll back and read how you were and I missed you out  sorry lovely . I'm so glad that you are starting to feel a bit better . I know you've had such a tough journey but you and Vicky will make great mummies whichever route you have to take to get there . Your such an inspiration and a lovely women so glad we got to meet on here  xx

Kirstie - how are things coming along with you ? I'm on my phone now and I can't scroll back anymore to have a read  hope all is still going well xx


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## Bexter83

Hi ladies, sorry just a quick from me, back on tomorrow properly, hope your all well though xxx but just to wish you the very best tomorrow *Chixy* on your EC, get those lovely eggies &#128035;&#128035;&#128035;&#128035;&#128035;&#128035;&#128035;&#128035;&#128035;&#128035;. Thinking of you xxxxxx


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## Chixy

Ah *bexter* so lovely of you to think of me. Praying tomorrow we get some good quality eggies!!  

How are you hun? Been thinking of you lots


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## poppy05

chixy, all the very best for tomorrow darling, i will be praying for a good collection    dont forget to drink loads of water straight after, cant wait to hear your news, sending  love hunni


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## K.Notman

Good afternoon everyone! I've had a busy weekend helping my friends move house so at work now for a break, lol! Catching up on a few messages so here goes&#8230;

*Chixy*, I know we've been 'Whattsapping' (I'm getting FF-ed from everywhere these days!) so I hope you are chill-axing now after collection. That parking spot has saved me a fortune over the many appointments, just remember to tuck you wing-mirror in as some passers-by are not too careful! Did you go for Endo-glue in the end? Are you ICSI or natural fertilisation? I hope you get good grade embies and they might let them go to blaso before transfer- but then again- this is BWH and I don't know their 'opening hours' for Easter?!

*Bexter*- I'm glad you and Mark are in good spirits, although you are bound to have a few wobbles over the next few weeks- I did when AF came. I hope the clinic don't keep you waiting too long for a date. Don't feel you have to rush head long into it all again though. A nice holiday break would do you good, even if it's only in the UK. Thinking of you and sending you hugs still.

*Tricia*, it's good to hear from you. I'm fine thanks. Keeping you all updated as often as I can.

*Poppy *- how are you feeling today Hun? It's good to see your walking routes on **. It was really windy yesterday but much brighter and calmer today. How is the garden looking? Have you been baking or is the healthy eating recipes taking over the comfort food now? I wish you well with your weight-loss. Spring is a good time to be inspired with this.

*Becky*- how was your break? I hope your friend joins FF and gains the support that we have all appreciated so much.

Morning all the other Whippers Lurkers. I hope you are well.

*AFM*, well I'm still feeling really positive (helped by the lovely sunshine streaming through my office window!). My weekend went well with all the things I had planned (Friend's Hen Do, Friend's house move) and was great for keeping me distracted. My best friend has surprised me too saying she has a voucher for a Spa day that she wants to use with me before my tx starts so we are trying to get in on Tuesday 7th. I really hope we can do it as the timing will be perfect and we'll both love the R&R and pampering. I might book a nice massage too as I don't have an acupuncture appointment that week as my therapist is on holiday.

It's my cousin's wedding on the 11th and we are having a big family weekend away up to Brigg (Lincolnshire) for it which is going to be awesome! However- I start my increased oestrogen on 9th after my scan so I'm wondering if I'm allowed any wine? I'm thinking I can have a little but not go mad- after all ET won't be until May. I'll check with my nurse but I know we are supposed to be clean living now. I don't mind going booze free but to be chilled out and have fun I'd like some wine- when did you lot stop your alcohol intake for your cycles?

I'm on the April/May Egg Donor cycle buddies board too and a few of them have their donors EC this week. It's so exciting for them and it's hard to think that it will be mine this time next month! I've got such a good feeling about this cycle. Having had 3 months of HRT in between I think my lining will be fine. I know all the donor stuff is out of my hands so I won't stress about it rather than feeling a little anxious when it was my sister. We know what's in store this time around so let's give it our best shot.

Anyway, best wishes to everyone. Have a great week. Chixy we are all routing for you with our pom-poms!
Lots of love, Kirst xXx


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## Bexter83

Hi Whippers 

*Chixy*, how did you get on today? Hope the procedure went well and your resting up and feeling good .

*Kitstie*, your such a sweetie for helping your friend move. You must be knackered!! I can't believe how fast time is going!! Wow, your starting your tx so soon , so excited for you and also have such a good and positive feeling for you. You really know your body and how you respond with the HRT, so I think your going to have a lovely abd inviting lining for the embie or embies to snuggle right into. 
Glad you had a great time at your friends hen do too  and what a lovely gift from your friend too! That's awesome!! You could have a nice detoxing massage before starting your tx, what a great way to start. 
Everyone is different but personally I think and when I asked my consultant when doung the HRT cycke, the odd glass of wine was fine. I didn't have much at all though and nothing quite a few days before ET. So I think you'll be fine with a couple of drinks at your cousins wedding, enjoy yourself hun, you deserve it .

*Poppy*, did you get those windows done? Lol&#128516; I'll be coming round to do an inspection, haha . Hope your feeling good today hun xxxx big hugs 

Thanks Tricia xxx I know your a busy gal, so let me know whens good for you, I'd really appreciate any advise or information you have on tests etc to try and improve chances for next time . How is your hubby and MIL doing? I hope they are both on the mend.

Thanks *Kazza* . I live your gurus positivity, it realiy helped going through it mentall, hopefully is my time next time  , but you girls support really has meant so much to me. 
I hope your keeping well hun and from the tests and stage your at sounds like what my sister went through with her boy. She was carrying quite big and was under close monitoring with glucose tests etc.. She was advised to keep sugar intake low and my nephew was a really healthy weight when born (was more bump than baby). I think some women just hold more water than some.

*Jules*, loves ya! Get better soon Flu Ju, I'm cyber sending you some chicken soup xxxx rest up, fluids, Rocky & Mavis cuddles and I really hope you feel better v soon. Try echinasea too, it reduces cold & flu virus by 1.5 days. Big hugs (but with a bug defence mask on&#128567 .

Lottie, Becky, Hopeful xxx hope your keeping well.

AFM, so have contacted the clinic again, just waiting to get a date for my review. I know I'm my own worst enemy but I have gone back on the supps (am such a mug!). Mark has been such a sweetie, we haven't spoken too much about it, just what needs to be said but just had 1 little cry last night, when watching Poldark of all things! But was when she hit to tell him she was carrying his child and it got me, wishing I could say that (even though in the world of IVF that doesn't happen anyway ). I can still visualise seeing 2 lines on a pee stick and showing Mark and crying, I'm holding onto that, Im sure it will happen. 
So my plan is to have my review, get some answers, find out appropriate testing and be on a plan to start again in the next couple of months. Am going to stay at the same clinic but get relevant testing done beforehand. I think I going yo need the kitchen sink package for my next one.
So, today I went to recruitment agencies and I start a new temping job on Wednesday  (1 month temping). Have to go back to the agency tomorrow for a meeting but I do have the job. I think temping could really work out well at the moment, especially with next tx and to break me back into the office world again, instead of feeling like such an idiot in an interview right now. Gently breaking me back in and gaining confidence for a permenant position. I had a feeling this would be the way it would go.

Xxxxxxx


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## poppy05

Evening girls




Chixy, ive been thinking of you today hunni, hope ec went well and you got lots of juicy eggies to get jiggy in the lab of love tonight!!   rest up hun, and water log yourself!! xxx


Kirstie, oooh a spa treat sounds divine, i would so love that right now, not to scare you or make you worry, but just double check with the therapist before you have any treatments, i know shiatsu head massage 'can' cause miscarriage, im not sure why? but i wont do shiatsu on my clients if they are expecting, i know you're not pg yet, but i dont want anything interferring with your womb area, im prob being silly, but please just check first   
no ive not been baking, we've been very strict with our diets, ive made some very nice dishes this week though, we had slimming world meatballs tonight, you would never know that dinner was fat free, and zero syns!!! its weigh day tomorrow!   
I havent done anything in the garden yet, we tidied up the other week, ive emptied all my tubs of the old dead plants, so its hust a case of waitng to plant the bedding plants now, i usually do it in April, so hoping another couple of weeks and i can go to the garden centre. xx


Bexter ahhh babes, its horrible how it just catches you sometimes,   and you do build up a picture of what its going to be like, from the bfp through to delivery, this is what im struggling with the most, and what ive been going through with my counsellor, ive got a 20 year old story in my head, ive managd to perfect it, to the point my story involves granchildren too!!!   its not nice, but oneday, you will be showing mark your positive pee stick crying, and its going to be the most special day   
have they got back to you with a date yet?  xxx
oh ps, no i havent done my windows yet, ive not had time lol


Big hugs to everyone else    what are you all doing for easter?


AFM, well ive had a pretty busy day today, got up and went for my 2 mile walk, then i had to take my car for an mot, it failed!!!! luckily it was only a headlamp, so its now passed! while that was being done we popped in to have a cup of tea with vics gran, then came home and i cut and coloured vics hair, she is now pink!!!    and i cooked another nice low fat dinner, im loving this diet, im getting right into it, i bet ive only lost 1lb!!!!! find out tomorrow i guess.
Another busy day tomorrow, i need to colour my own hair, do my walk, go food shopping, and i have a friend coming over in the afternoon.
Its nice to have things planned, had another good day today, felt a bit anxious this morn, but ive been pretty ok, im actually dreading going back to work, im really enjoying being a wife, i miss doing the cooking and cleaning, im so lazy when im at work, vic does everything!! i keep looking at jobs and thinking of ways to earn money, but theres nothing, ive done mobile hairdressing before and it didnt pay enough, so i think im stuck where i am for now.
anyway ive still got over 3 weeks to go before i have to think about that.


Wish me luck for weigh in!! 
sending lots of love xxxx


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## Chixy

Just wanted to give you lovely Walnut Whippers an update and then hope to get down to personals tomorrow when I am hopefully more with it. So EC today. I was expecting a smaller number than previous cycles due to last scan showing 4 follies on one side and three on the other. So you can imagine my surprise when I was told they managed to harvest 13 eggs!!! Here is hoping we have a couple of quality ones at least. Kirstie Summed it up a treat - a bakers dozen! And in time for Easter - love it! Kirstie - thanks. The dreaded wait is now waiting for the call tomorrow to know if we have any embryos - here is hoping that they get jiggy with it tonight         

Thank you all for your support and for thinking of me today

Love ta all

Chixy xxx


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## poppy05

Wow chixy that is amazing, well done sweetie   
sending love vibes to the lab of love       good luck for 'the call' in the morning, omg your almost pupo!!!! so excitng xxx


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## Lottie1802

Just wanted to pop on and say chixy thats amazing! I really hope you get a good call today! Everything is crossed!


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## Chixy

Walnut Whippers,

I have been wanting to get on to my computer all day but can you believe it - i have had quite a busy day (between resting a little) So I have been hanging by the edge of the phone all morning. The door went early this morning - a delivery - my husband has purchased a chiminea / BBQ. So I had to answer the door still in my pjs and looking quite rough!!! oh well. I finally got the call from the embryologist at half ten. She was lovely and informed me that out of the 13 eggs, 10 have fertilised!! wow - i wasn't expecting that. So now waiting to see how these beauties divide and  one or two of them are our future bundles of joy  The embryologist will ring me again on Thursday to update me on their progress and a decision will be made as to whether they will be ET Thursday afternoon or Saturday (blastocyst?) eeeek. I have been on a light walk with the dog this morning (*Poppy) * (after the call) followed by popping to the shop for more milk (we ran out  ) I then waited in for a man to come and measure up the bedroom for our new carpet - exciting.

*Poppy* i enjoy my walk with the dog. It is good to escape and get some fresher as well as enjoy the countryside. Your recipes sound great - have you tried any more. I love having things to look forward - especially travelling/holidays but sadly we have nothing in the pipe line at the moment. It is horrible when when you really want a different job but really don't know what to do. been there too.

*Kirstie* it sounds like you have LOTS of things in the pipeline and all sound very exciting. Enjoy your wonderful spa day with your dear friend.

*Bexter* lovely to hear that you are getting some dates sorted with the clinic for your follow up and thinking about trying again. You are doing so well. We have to pick ourselves back up, dust ourselves down and keep going, so well done you hun. of course it is natural to have those wobbles but is better then letting what has happened eat us up. Take care hun and thank for your support during my cycle. Great news also on your temping job - a very good plan while you go through treatment again soon.

*Jules* Hope weigh in is good and make sure you   shake that bum at 'em. Hope you feel a bit better than earlier hun.

*Lottie* Thanks for thinking of me and wishing me well. Hope you are ok?

*Becky* hope you are having/ had a great time away - i love getting away. I think we should all meet at yours - in Spain. look at me inviting all the Walnut Whippers to you - sorry 

*Tricia* good to hear from after some time. busy time for you i know. hope you are ok and managing to find some time for you.

*Kazza* How are you hun? getting ever bigger  hope all is well

*Hopeful* how are you doing hun. think about you lots.

Sorry if i have missed anyone
I wish to thank you for your support during my cycle

Oh and can I ask out of interest have any of you been on baby aspirin during any cycles? be interested to know what advice and thoughts you have on this? thanks.

love Chixy xxx


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## Bexter83

Omg *Chixy*!! That's fantastic! Well done you . Sounds like you'll make it to blast with some for the freezer if you ever want anymore sprogs too . Did the procedure go well abd your feeling good now? That wait for the embryologist to call us so nerve wracking isn't it!? I've always been on baby aspirin on my cycles but check with your doctor. Are you on the steroids yet? 
Slightly nervous about tomorrow but I'm sure will be ok. Have been weaning myself off the steroids and having my answer from the cycke, now I'm sleeping and feeling tired and needing the hours in, so typical now starting a new job. 
AF arrived today (I thought over the weekend that was when it will come), which means I can plan next cycle a bit more. The clinic called me back today and my follow up review was going to be in May!!! As consultant is off to Australia. I was practically begging (I have no shame ) but explained that I need to know testing to get done and to get started, so am seeing them on Thursday after their last appointment. 
Xxxxxxx


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## Chixy

Thanks *Bexter* we had 10 out of 14 last cycle, but with all previous cycles we have never manage to get any frozen &#128532;❄. First two cycles we got to blastocyst but the resulted in a BFN. Last cycle we had 3 day transfer and got a BFP but unfortunately ended in MC. So as you can imagine I am somewhat confused as to what to do for the best (if we get that far - I hope). I am sure you will be fine tomorrow - I will be sending you positive thoughts. That is good that you've managed to get in to see your consultant before they go off to Australia. Thought for a minute you'd booked a flight out to follow them to get your review meeting he he. So is it hard to be weaned off the steriods. Yes I'm on the steriods now, I take four a day. Had the worst night sleep last night too &#128532;. Hoping I have a much better sleep tonight! Xx


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## Bexter83

Oh bless you, it is so hard to know what is right sometimes, I suppose there is no magic trick and we just need to trust our doctors and that they are constantly keeping up with the program and adapting everything along the way during treatment. Have faith, we all do and are here for you. Concentrate on being positive for this time . Last nights sleep could be a combo of the steroids and the anxiety of the call from the embryologist. I hope you catch up tonight though and wake up feeling tested tomorrow. Xxxx
Lol, I think that's why they squeezed me in after office hours , they probably knew that I'd be on that plane! Could you imagine my doctor finding his seat in the aeroplane and I'm sitting by the window reading the paper and I'm like, Hi Neale , less discuss the treatment! 

Xxxxxx


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## poppy05

Chixy thats wonderul fertilisation, way to go baby ingredients!!! yay
praying that you gets some amazing blasts, and some for freezing too   
the steroid insomnia is horrible! i dont envy you hun, mine did ease up after about a week 10 days, but im still taking the bloody things!! i go down to 1 a day on thurs, and then finish on sunday, thank god!!   


Bexter, im so pleased you managed to get an appointment before may, that would of been horrible for you waiting with the answers hanging over your head, but now you will be able to, close the door on this cycle, and look forward to the next one in the summer   
ps good luck with the job tomorrow babe xxx


Hi everyone else   


AFM, well weigh in for me today and ive lost 3.1/2 lb, thought it might be a bit more for week 1, but im not going to argue, at least its coming off, vic lost 6.1/4lb!!!!!! but then she has been working, and i couldnt do my walk for 3 days cos of a damn blister!!! we set ourselves a target to lose 7lb by this sat to have a treat of an easter egg!!! ive got 4 days to get the rest off!!


Im so determined, so much so im cooking to orrows dinner right now!!!    we have a busy day tomorrow, get up do walk, come home shower, then counsellor, then vic is taking my mum to stanstead to oick her friend up, and they have got to leave at 6, so thats obviously our dinner time, and we didnt want to do our usual and grab a mcdonalds, so we're going to have dinner at lunchtime! haha i feel like a little old biddy organising my menu for the week!!! 


Oh jules i found the recipe for slimming world eton mess, so im making that on sunday, it actually sounds lovely, and i would never of thought of using fat free fromage frais and strawberry muller light!!! so thanks for the idea hun xxx


Right i gotta go stir my lentils!!!    love ya girlies xxxx


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## tricia1012

Chixy - wow congrats that's a great fertilisation rate !! I'm so glad it's all going well for you  the steroids are a nightmare but well worth it I ended up being on mine for 14 weeks , the insomnia does get better though  xx

Poppy - well done on the weight loss  make sure you treat yourself to a yummy choc egg this weekend xx

Bexter - great news that you managed to get an earlier appt I hope they give you some  ideas for your next cycle , your so like me my way to cope was planning trying again asap after my bfn  my docs were sick of me calling lol xx

Love to everyone else xx


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## Chixy

Oh my goodness Walnut Whippers I am so proud of myself I just had to share!! DH left for work this morning - when I suddenly remembered we hadn't done my Clexane injection. So I said to myself 'it's no good you'll just have to do it yourself' So I placed a frozen cod (still in the bag I hasten to add!!) in the area I wanted to inject and then stuck the needle in me!!! Do you know when my DH normally does the injections it is quite painful but when I did it myself it wasn't - mmm interesting!! 

*Poppy *great weight loss - you and your DW are doing great!! I really need your recipes they sound like they work a treat!! Well done hun.

Thanks *Tricia *for the lovely message.

*Kirstie *happy anniversary hun. Hope you and Ralph have a great day - you off out on your new bike?

*Jules *hope you feel better today and you got some good results from your weigh in hun.

Hope the rest of you Walnut Whippers are ok and don't get caught out with any April falls jokes!!

Love to you all

Chixy xxx


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## K.Notman

Howdy all! Happy Hump Day!

*Chixy*- As I said in our messages yesterday, I'm so happy for your fantastic fertilisation rate and I'm praying hard for quality embies, will be thinking of you tomorrow waiting by the phone again. WELL DONE for doing your injection yourself- and BONUS that it didn't hurt as much. Thanks for your anniversary wishes, I'm taking Ralph to our FF lunch venue for a treat (Victoria) so he can see what I've been raving on about! Not been on the new bike in these winds! We bought it when it had an offer on to include the top box and paniers so we have to take it to the garage in Bromsgrove on Saturday to get them fitted. Ralph can then use it to get to work more easily which will be lovely in the Spring/Summer weather.

*Jules*- I hope your travels to London don't make you feel more poorly thank you already do. I hope you can get it out of your system for the Easter break. If it's curbed your appetite it will help weight-loss (silver linings and all that!).

*Poppy*- "stir my lentils", thought that was a euphemism for a moment! Lol! You are so focused and motivated at the moment; great loss and I'm sure your trimming that excess with all your hard work and you'll start feeling all the benefits in time for a lovely Spring of new beginnings (and new clothes!). You are still allowed a chocolaty treat for Easter though- everything in moderation!

*Bexter*- How was your first day at work? A good distraction I hope and not too much hard work to stress you out. I'm so glad you managed an appointment tomorrow and crack those questions to get tests underway. You girls do make me laugh about how much you harass the clinic personnel! *Chixy *was on first name terms with the Top Bod and was infamous with the receptionists, lol! As devastating as it all is, it's fantastic to see you handling it so well, dusting yourself off and looking forward. I hope AF isn't too painful to you and you can have a month without all the meds to get back to ground zero again.

AFM, well after getting my hopes up about the Spa day we are now struggling to book something that we can both do and for her to get child care arranged (her DH is away on business throughout a lot of April). I don't want to leave it too close to the transfer; as Poppy said, you have to be careful about treatments. I'm just looking forward to a day off with my bestie to have some 'us' time! I need to go shopping on Saturday to get a nice dress for the wedding as my family have seen me in all the ones I currently have, and we could get Ralph a tie to match. I hope I find something nice without having to trawl the shops for ages- I'm not really one for shopping.

As Chixy mentioned, it's my 9th Anniversary today. Started the day laughing my socks off as completely unknown, Ralph & I had bought each other the same card! 'Great minds think alike'! It is hard to think that we haven't been able to start our family in all that time when everyone we know gets pregnant within 2-3years. My friend who had her 2 quite young tells me to consider myself lucky that Ralph & I have had more time to enjoy ourselves without dependants so I suppose there is some truth in that. We have been ready for this for the last three years though so fingers crossed there will be a little bundle in the photos for our 10th anniversary next year!

Love and best wishes to all xXx


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## Chixy

Hello to all you lovely Walnut Whippers,

So I am very excited to tell you all that I am now PUPO - woohoo!!! Now praying they make themselves at home. I have a high quality 8 cell and a medium 8 cell. Plan to find good names for my beautiful embryos.

 This is the cycle that blesses us with our bundle of joy/s

Love to you all

Chixy xxx


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## Bexter83

Huge congrats on being PUPO Chixy   , your embies sound beautiful and strong. We must think of some good names for them and I am also   For you, I think these are winners!! 

I'll be back on tomorrow, to catch up with you all, am shattered, not long in from work and just cooked dinner and leaving for follow up app in about 10 (shall be interesting). I wanted to cry at work today, I felt trapped but couldn't cry but started to feel better.
Anyways, will be on tomorrow morning. Xxxxxxx


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## poppy05

Yay congrats chixy, wonderful news, im so happy to hear you are pupo.
I think your embies should be the 'easter eggs'     


Kirstie, ooooh dress shopping, where are you going to go? i love monsoon, i cant wait to buy my outfit for my friends wedding in August, and if its 2 sizes smaller that will be even better!!   


Bexter hows the new job hunni? and hope you get a good lot of answers to ight at your review   


lottie how was lionel babe?   


BeckyA loved your pic on ** today, i wanted to jump in and join you both with a nice glass of wine!   


Jules, hows you babe? hows your weightloss going?   


tricia, hope your ok babes, is mr t all mended now?   


kazza have you seen the consultant yet?   


hopeful, sending love to you and hoping your ok babes   


Hello to anyone ive missed   


AFM, well girls, in my best james brown voice 'i feel good'    i am feeling soooo much better, i saw my counsellor for the last time yesterday, i feel that she has helped me enough to be able to get on with life now, she has helped to make my decision re adoption, and shes helped me to reach the point of closure on tx.


I have managd to sort my head out and my brain is far less frazzled, i have completely accepted and come to terms with the fact i wont ever be having more ivf, regardless of circumstance, tx is no longer an option for me, ive closed the door on it, and my tx journey is part of my past, i have also accepted that i wont ever be pregnant, and although that still makes me feel very sad, and i still want to experience that side of being a mummy, i know its not going to happen, i have accepted that all my hopes and dreams of being a mummy can still happen, and i will be adopting my son or daughter, i know in my head and my heart that i did everything absolutely possible to try and have a biological child, and i accept that some things just arent meant to be, there is obviously another plan for me, i still feel like its very unfair, and i wish this hadnt happened to me, but im sure oneday when my little person is all tucked up in bed, safe and loved, i will not regret a single second of this journey, everything happens for a reason, and in time i know my reason will be putting sticky fingers all over my clean windows!!!!


I was considering going back to work early, but sod it, im enjoying doing my daily walk and losing weight, its falling off, ive lost 6lb now!! thats in 9 days, vic said just take the time off and enjoy doing my thing, so thats what im doing, i prob would have only gone back a week early anyway.


And finally i want to thank each of you for being so amazing, you have shown me so much love, support, and just genuine care and concern, in all your texts and messages, it means so much to me, and i hope oneday we can all meet so i can give you all a proper hug   i love my girlies xxxxx


I know im still going to have down days, but ive not cried since last week and ive not had any panic attacks, just the odd nervy twinge in my tummy, i have most definately turned a huge corner, i have some nice things planned for the summer, its my birthday next month, so the next few months should be filled with happy things, and in sept we plan to make the first steps into bringing our child home, i just hope we get accepted    my counsellor was lovely, she said she cant see why we wouldnt, she said she can see how much i have got to give to a child who needs it, and has asked me to contact her later on to let her know how we are doing.


Anyway lovelies, have a fabulous easter, hope you all do something nice including eating chocolate, our eggs are still sat waiting for us!!! 


sending love xxxxx


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## jules418

Hi ladies

Poppy, what a lovely post. You are going to make wonderful mummies. You have been and I know you will continue to be our 'rock' and we love you for it and in turn we are all here for you too. Your weight loss is great you must be very proud and it is a fab start to your new life journey xxxx

Chixy, yay to pupo and two beautiful embies, time to relax and take it easy xxx

Bexter, glad you are liking the new job who knows what doors will open for you now. Hope you get on ok at your review and I hope you get the answers you need especially regarding tests. Hope you are feeling brighter and don't keep those tears at bay for too long xxxx 

BeckyA, your break away certainly looked fun loving the red wine lol

Kirstie, glad you had a lovely anniversary and your meal sounded lush. Not a surprise though as food always lovely there. What are your plans for Easter celebrations? 

Afm, I am still dying. Bob and I both came down with this flu bug that is going around on Sunday and we are still ill with now. Bob is getting lively now which is annoying me as I have no energy lol he has had the week off but I had to work as don't get sick pay so am soooo drained. But apart from that I am good weight is going slow but not been focused this week and now lost appetite so hopefully next week will be good lol. Tx wise we are still waiting til aug cycle to start so no news from us there. 

Well hope you all have fab easter celebrations lots of chocolate and family time. 

Am mentally doing bum wiggles at you all lol    

Love ya's

Jules
Xxxxx


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## Chixy

Hello Walnut Whippers,

I hope you are all having a great Good Friday. I thought i would share a funny incident that happened yesterday during my ET. So as you ladies know you lie down with your legs a kimbo while the consultant and embryologist prepare you for your embryos to be put back. So yesterday there I was lay bare with my legs apart with the male consultant sat on a stool in prime viewing position. The nurse is at my top end positioning the scan machine for both myself and the consultant to see what is happening inside from looking at the screen. The consultant pipes up and says 'good view' to which i replied 'oh thank you.' Both the nurse and i were in fits of laughter. The consultant on the other hand was so embarrassed and immediately stood up pointing at elements on the screen saying' this is what I was on about' to which i said ' yes i know what you meant!' 
When ever I think about it, a smile appears on my face or i just start laughing out loud. I think it is probably one of those things that is funny when you are there but it made me giggle.  

*Jules* How rubbish that you still feel like poo - boo. And that you still have to battle in going to work when you feel so ill. Shame that you don't get sickness pay. I guess there is a silver lining - it has surpassed your appetite which hopefully will help you with the weight less you are hoping to lose. You know August will be here before you know it when you will start your next tx. You know for the first time for us - we have actually managed to get a high quality embryo and for the time I have spent having treatment at BW i really think they are improving their practise. Cant wait for when you go again!    

*Poppy* I am so pleased to hear you are turning a corner and not giving up on your dream - even if it is a route that you never expected. It is only natural that you will still have low moments but very soon you will be distracted by your son or daughter to allow these feelings to take over. I find you an absolute inspiration and i thank you for that. The changes to your life you are already making through losing weight is just great and you should be very proud of yourself (and Vicki). The fact that both of you have got some lovely things to look forward to this summer is wonderful. I love having things booked up/ planned so I have things to look forward to.  

*Kirstie* How are you? I hope you and your friend managed to find a date that both of you could do. The meal Ralph and yourself had sounded lovely - how spooky that there is a pub closer to you that is the sister pub. The Boot is lovely too ( although one of the last times I went there i did have a bad meal - but that was a quite a while ago know) Maybe we should do lunch there next time Jules, yourself and I meet? 

*Bexter* I have been thinking about you with your review meeting. I hope you got some answers and have some ideas of what you might want to do next and found some comfort in what the consultant had to say. I hope you are ok hun? Have you started the new job? if so I hope you like it and it is going well. 

 to *Tricia, Hopeful, BeckyA, Lottie and Kazza* 

Wishing you all a lovely Easter

Love and hugs

Chixy xxxx


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## jules418

Ha ha ha chixy that really cracked me up ha ha bet he was mortified ha ha 

Brilliant xxxxx
How are you feeling today?


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## Bexter83

Hi Whippers,

Ok, didn't get on here in the morning like I said I would, couple of drinks at friends after our appointment turned into quite a few drinks getting into bed at 5am, lol . Our friends who have been through all this wanted to cheer us up and turned into a messy one. Felt quite sick today though, serves me right, managed to sleep it off in the end.

*Chixy* , that is so funny! 
How you feeling today PUPO lady? Xxxx I hope your feeling good hunny xx

*Jules*, hope you feel better by the morning, big hugs love xxx

*Poppy*, loved your post, you sound so positive. Your right, life isn't fair but I truly believe that when you have your little boy or girl, or both, your going to love them so much and won't care that they're adopted, they will be yours and Vics, your going to be such wonderful parents to them and they will feel so loved, such a beautiful thing, it really is. I really do understand when it's so raw and people instantly say you can adopt and that's meant to make everything feel 100% better, when you know that your stronger than most and you think sod you, let's see how you'd deal with this!?! But you know that in time and when you've gone through the gruelling process, they are going to be at home and like you said, your going to tuck them into bed and read them stories and they're yours and nothing else will matter.

*Kirstie*, how was your Anniversary celebrations? Yes I think 10 could be the magic number hun!!! I'm praying that you will have a baby or babies in your arms on your next one, I'm sure you will!! It's so hard trying to get dates which suit everyone, I really hope you find one and get to enjoy the spa day. If you can't find one earlier and you do go when your going through your treatment, maybe just have a facial and a gentle message, telling them not to massage your tummy and using aromatherapy oils. Or have a manicure and pedicure. Just avoid some treatments. 
Still hoping we can find a new date for us all to meet up again. If Northampton still works for you, we can text us girls and see if we can get a date soon.

*Tricia*, how you doing hun?

Lottie, Becky, Kazza, Hopeful, hope your keeping well hunny bunnies xxxx

AFM, my follow up review was a bitter sweet experience. My clinic is a satelite clinic for the lister, which basically means it's a clinic/ consultant which does the stimming and all other bits but you go for EC & ET at the lister, and they work together. So consultant said he was very disapointed with the amount of eggs collected and mainly the issue with the maturity of the eggs. We've tried 2 different protocols on v high dosage and with my age and AMH level there is something not right. Also I double dosed on trigger last time but still same issue. He doesn't want me to rush into next cycle. He's contacted Sam Abdullah, the head guy at the lister and I'll have an appointment with him (no extra charge) and him and my consultant are going to decide what protocol and type of trigger (Ovitrelle, pregna something or even Buserlin as trigger). He says my Estrogen levels and lining is great, it's the maturity of the eggs, as first cycle I had 8 follicles and second cycle 12 follicles but still only ended up with 2 embryos both times, due to low amount of eggs retrieved and only a few borderline mature. This is what the consultant wants to work on and feels this is the problem. Because I don't have the numbers they are being transferred on a day 2 or 3 and if having blastocysts transferred and constantly BFNs then they would be able to see if it's any other issues which would need addressing, like NK Cell testing etc but he thinks this is not the problem. It's not being able to have the pick of the bunch, choosing top quality embryos to transfer, it's about sticking the 2 in which I have. 
He thinks it's a trial and error thing and I understand that and know he's doing his absolute all but it's a v costly trial and error thing, emotionally and financially but what can I do? I keep counting my blessings all the time but this time going through this has isolated me with my family which hasn't been easy and knowing Im likely to be going through this a lot more and longer, I don't know what sort of relationship I'll have with them by the end of it? They make me so angry, saying all the wrong things, I don't even want to see my nephew and I don't want to tell them anymore about this because they make my blood boil even reading messages from them. When I said I felt trapped and wanted to cry at work on Thursday, it was after I read an email from my step dad and I had to have words with myself and read other nice messages from people to put my head back into a better place, how nuts is that!?
Anyways, apologies for the essay. I think I'll be starting next cycle in June. Onwards and upwards.

Hope you ladies are having a lovely Easter xxxxxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Chixy thats sooooo funny,    i hope you are feeling good hunni   


Bexter, i know we have had lots of conversations lately, particularly about family etc, i think we have to in a way detatch ouselves from them, deep down we know our family members love us dearly and want the tx's to work, and most probably feel very sad for us when it fails, i dont think anyone who hasnt gone through tx has ever said the right thing to me, i told you that my mum said to me the other week 'let me know if you decide not to adopt cos i'll get rid of my knitting'!!! i ignored it as i knew she didnt mean to be heartless, and i dont think she actually realises how it feels to hear crap like that, i went to her house today to see her friend, and i was telling her how we have decided to adopt, and mum ears pricked up and she said 'oh have you definately decided to adopt then'? so i said yes we will apply later in the year, she said 'oh good i can continue knitting'!!! again i ignored her, i know she doesnt mean harm, but i really wanted to say, 'fk your knitting, do you actually realise how i feel'?!!!!! but of course i didnt. people just have no idea, ive stopped expecting anything other than stupid comments, and if i get someone who actually appears to understand then i coint myself lucky.
i hope you get your appy with sam through asap   


Happy easter darlings xxx


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## Bexter83

Your so right Poppy, spot on xxx I remember you telling me that about the knitting comment xxxx. I know what you mean, you just don't get the response or comments you need to comfort you, it goes the other way abd you think why did I even bother!? I didn't tell my family stuff after EC in Jan and when embies were put in the freezer and just left it with them that were issues so they are in the freezer and don't know when they'll be transferred. Then 2 days before ET the other week, in a moment of complete vulnerability, I spoke to my sister and confirmed again why I shouldn't bother. I really will from now on just speak to you girls and my friend who's been through it, as there is zero point trying to get comfort from any other sources. I think I'd rather be penalised by family for being distant than really hurt and disapointed. 
Thank you, I'm hoping my app with Sam will be soon. I hate waiting  .
Xxxxxx happy Easter my love and happy Easter everyone xxxxxxxxx
🐣💗💗💗💗💗💗


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## Chixy

whoop whoop Walnut Whippers,

Happy Easter Sunday tomorrow lovelies.

*Poppy* it is so frustrating when family and friends just don't understand how we feel from this process. The stress, emotion, physical demands and financial burden IVF has on us only those that have experienced will ever fully understand. Stay focussed Poppy and look forward to all those exciting things you have planned.

*Jules* Poor Julie - How are you feeling today? I hope you have managed to brush off the flu in time for you and Bob to enjoy Easter.  

*Bexter* Your meeting with the consultant sounded like it went well because you got a lot of information and plans for what to do next. However I can understand your frustration in financing IVF yet they don't seem to get it right. Here is hoping they will for the next one hun. You have been so strong through this cycle. Continue to focus on what you plan to do with your next cycle and hope your meeting with the Lister consultant happens very soon hun 

 to *Kirstie, Hopeful, Tricia, BeckyA, Lottie, Kazza* and to anyone else I may have missed (sorry)

*AFM* I am ok - the dreaded two week wait is the worst part of this process noticing any twinge. I have no idea if *Willow and Elderflower* have settled in but I  that they have. So it is 2dp3dt and hopefully they have hatched out ready to make themselves at home for the rest of the 9 month journey    I have been eating fresh pineapple, taking the dog out for a walk and avoiding carrying heavy things. Any other advice or tips would be greatly received.

Happy Easter everyone  

love and hugs   

Chixy xxx


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## Bexter83

Awww *Chixy*, I love Willow & Elderflower already! Sending sticky vibes to you. Know what you mean, the 2 ww is awful but you sound like your doing the right things. Keep doing gentle walks with the dog, get that blood flow going. Your doing everything you can and was great news to hear that they are such great quality, it's sounding so good hun! Xxxxxxx
Thanks hunny bunny, am feeling confident that the consultant will get us there, I know it will happen, just a case of keep trying but when it has it will all be worth it xxxx


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## Kazza79

Hi all and Happy Easter    
  
Sorry haven't been on in a while, been madness at work n at home 

Chixy- congratulations on being PUPO hun take care of your bundles xxx

Poppy- I haven't seen the consultant yet as they have failed yet again to book the appointment so I need to call them again on Tuesday   , they really are so rubbish tbh xxx

Bexter- I'm good thanks hun how are you doing? Hope you have had a nice weekend so far xxx

Jules- hi hun how are you? Hope you enjoying the Easter weekend xxx

Hi tricia, hopeful, becky, lottie, Kirsty  and everyone else hope you are all ok and enjoying the Easter weekend xxxx


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## jules418

Happy easter to my beautiful ff family.

Hope you are having a lovely day.

Chixy those are beautiful names.... She says through gritted teeth lol I came up with Eggy and Murphy lol but I was too late, if only I had been a day or so earlier lol.... 

Poppy, i really sometimes wonder what planet non ffers come from.  I think the knitting one needs to go on the insensitive comments board lol. How you guys have something yummy cooking up today. 

Bexter, hope your prosseco head cleared up ok lol I could do with a prosseco or two or something non squash based lol. Hope you have your walk today xxx

Kirstie, happy easter babes xxxx

Happy easter to you all xxx

Afm the flu is on its way out. Still quite snotty and got horrid cough but energy levels are rising and we are going to Go For a walk down the canal later if bob is feeling up to it. 

Jxxxx


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## Lottie1802

Happy Easter everyone!!,

Chixy ! Congrats on being PUPO , get snuggled in lil ones! And your post about et made me really laugh, you have to have humour during this process 

Poppy , we love you more   I'm glad your feeling better, you sound really chirpy and you sound like you've put it all into perspective, and as for meeting in person we should defo all do it, group hugs all round x ooh and Lionel was good, I was very tired but well worth it!

Bexter, it sounds like your having a tough time with family but hang on in there, it's great they have the head consultant looking at your history , and we are your extended family here whenever you need us! You've had a lot on with the move and tx so give yourself credit , you've been incredibly strong x

Jules, I'm glad your feeling better , im a little bit jealous of your walk down the canal, I walked the dogs the other day and nearly cried half way round, I think my hips are all out of place! Joys of being a fatty! I hope you are better enough to eat Easter eggs  

AFM, well one more week and then I'm off to my old job, I hope I remember what im doing lol , im looking forward to working with the old team , I used to be so mischievous when I worked there, I lost my sense of humour a bit at this job , roll on the practical jokes ha ha 
Today I am not really moving from the sofa and I don't mind who judges me , it's been a weekend of cleaning up after all the painting but we're making progress which is good as hubby is away for two weeks now !!! I can't wait to have this finished at last


----------



## jules418

Hi ladies 

Ooo lottie not long to go now how exciting I am sure you will fall back into the swing of things in no time and it will be like you never left. 

We didn't go down the canal in the end we were not feeling up to it so Monday we went to earlswood lakes instead which lovely and the sun was out and beautiful to walk in. If course we then stopped at the pub for some drinkies and food although I was driving so diet coke for me which was fine as still not right. 

Back to work today booo. Meet bob for lunch and we went for a walk and this man approached and said to bob have you heard of this and had a cardboard sign saying free hugs. Ha ha bob said no thanks I've got flu ha ha ha we really do attract the weirdos 

How you all are having fun especially those who are off work xxxx

Jules 
Xxx


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## Chixy

Hi ladies,

Hope everyone had a lovely Easter.

*lottie* I'm sure you will be like a duck to water returning to your old job. We look forward to hearing about your mischievous antics.

*Jules* he he he   do you want a free hug  

AFM well ladies I am trying so hard to stay positive but I am feeling that it has not worked AGAIN!!! I have had NO symptoms. In all past cycles I at the very least had tender boobs but this time nothing. With our short lived BFP last time I felt a fluttering session. I know I shouldn't worry but I can't help it - feeling very low and very upset already


----------



## BeckyA

Whippers! I'm back!!!

*chixy*, congrats on being PUPO with 2! When is your OTD? Here's the positivity stick for you: 
Remember, lots and lots and lots of women have zero symptoms and they are preggers. Keep the faith!!
(p.s. of course you can invite all the whippers out here for a jolly!!)

*jules*, boo to being ill but glad you are a bit better! Boo to being back at work too. Here's a free hug. 

*kazza*,hope you are well, can't believe you are being messed around so much by appointments for consultants and the like!! It would have driven me crazy by now.

*lottie*, how are you and the twins? good luck for starting back at your old job next week, and enjoy the rest of this week off!

*bexster*,hope you are well hunni and in a good place. Sounds like you have good a great attitude which is half the battle. Sorry your family is not as supportive as you would like. Hopefully we can be cycle buddies again in June!!

*poppy*,well done on your weight loss,excellent news. hope your Easter meal went well!! am so happy you seem to be in a happy place now and with your sights set on the future. You and Vic are going to be amazing mummies to some very lucky children!!

*kirstie*, how are you? any nearer to date for your EC? do you know how your donor is getting on?

hello to *tricia* and *hopeful*, hope you are both doing OK.

AFM, had a lovely time away in Palma and Valencia. Beautiful scenery, great weather and lots of good food and wine! Perfect! 
Now back to reality, yesterday I managed to accidentally delete all of this year's photos off my mobile phone whilst copying them to my laptop. They were on the internal memory so only managed to recovery a few with some software I downloaded. I was cursing myself for AGES!! Grrr....
Also, joy of joys, AF decided to show up 6 days early whilst on the 6 hour bus journey back from Valencia...typically I didn't have anything on me...Also not really sure why she turned up early, but it'smaking me think I should call the the clinic in a couple of weeks in case she does again this month!


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## K.Notman

Good afternoon everyone! I've had a lovely few days off and now catching up with everything&#8230;
On the Donor Cycle Thread I'm on, there are 15 of us so my personals are back to being massive (and I'm not getting much work done!) There are 4 PUPOs in the 2ww but a number of us are still getting hormones right whilst our donors are doing their own thing and it's going to get busy as we go into May- eek , exciting! (and terrifyingly anxious and everything we know this rollercoaster to be!)

*Becky*- we have no news of our Donor. I don't suppose we will do unless there is a problem so I'm sticking with the 'no news is good news' routine. I hope she is ok with all the injections though. Being an altruistic donor purely for us is sooooooo amazing. To think she is putting herself through all this for someone she doesn't even know! 
I feel your loss with the photos! I'd be so angry with myself too! Technology conspires against us sometimes. I had one of those days this morning making my normal processing of Payroll three times longer- not helped by being the new tax year! Grr. Sounds like you had a lovely trip though and you'll still have the memories. Did you call the clinic? If in doubt, ask! It's always better than mithering about things in your head.

*Chixy *- You do know that when I'm in the room now for ET I'm going to think of your story and start giggling! We could do lunch at The Boot- although it's the same menu as the Victoria and we have been working our way through that, lol! As I've said in my messages, 'it's not over until the fat lady sings'!. Every time and everyone is different . There is no 'one way' just the horrendous waiting game. At least you have marvellous weather to get out and about in- or are you missing being in work lol!

*Jules*, I hope you are feeling much better and that going to work wasn't too much for you. Ralph has got this awful cough that's going around so I'm trying to keep my distance as I don't want anything to affect this tx (I even slept in the spare room last night lol!- such sympathy!). Did you have a good Weigh-In last night? I bet people hate the one after a bank holiday! Earlswood Lakes are lovely- and the pub isn't bad either!

Lottie, I hope you're enjoying your freedom before going back to your old job. It will be good to see the people again I'm sure but so easy to get used to having free time at home!

*Kazza*, Hope you had a good Easter and life is treating you well?

*Bexter* - Sorry to hear your family are not helping you. My MIL can come out with some corkers- like when she posted on ** an animated film thing about conception and the miracle of life when I was going through the last cycle! I really did nearly write what I thought but luckily had restraint to write something like "some of us need scientists to help us"! You know we are here for you though love so you are not alone!

I'm glad you are getting another consultation (bonus that it's free!) to try to find out what can be improved. It's great that your lining is always good but what can be done about egg maturity? We look forward to hearing your updates so we can support you every step of the way.

*Poppy* - How are you getting on? Still thinking about starting work early? I bet now the weather is nicer you're tempted to stay off! Get in that garden girl- even if it's just with a glass of Pimms! I enjoyed my shopping trip. Got bargains in Debenham's blue cross sale so got the bag and hair accessory too! (just tried finding a picture online but gave up!). I hope the weather stays like this for them. I hope you can be 2 dress sizes smaller for your friend's wedding- it's great having an event and shopping treat like that as an incentive! How is the weight loss going? The slimming world recipe books are very good for general healthy cooking.
This fertility roller-coaster does need to come with a health warning "need a thick skin to cope with mindless comments"! We could do with a remote control for people so we can just mute them!

Hello everyone else Lurking out there. Hope you had a good Easter.

*AFM*, well AF arrived today so I'm feeling all bloated and fat with cramps. I have a reflexology session after work which I'm strangely looking forward to even though I don't like people touching my feet. I think this will be different as it's more 'deliberate' touching! Tomorrow I'm at the hospital for a scan to check general health and to pick up my prescription for oestrogen tablets. Depending on the scan, I'll start these straight away to get my lining going again (although I might have to wait to give AF a little while first). I was originally told that EC would be w/c 27th so fingers crossed that's still going to plan and I've still got time to get into sync.

Non-fertility wise, we had a friend's wedding on Monday and they were so blessed with the weather. I only had 2 glasses of wine and just enjoyed the day. It's my cousin's wedding this Saturday so that will be more of the same (but a lot more dancing with my crazy family!). I'm looking forward to a lovely weekend away with everyone- we are a big family so going up to Lincolnshire on the Friday to enjoy a nice meal together too and we'll probably do the same on Sunday. Ummmm might be putting on a few pounds this week- good job I've been getting out for some running recently. The Spa day with my friend never got booked in the end but never mind, it's all so busy at the moment, I wouldn't want it to be something that causes stress to organise otherwise that defeats the purpose.

Anyway, have a good week everyone. Big hugs and positive vibes to everyone xxx


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## poppy05

Hello lovelies


Hope you all had a lovely easter
I haven't got time to do personals, but i will catch up properly later in the week.
Chixy heres a gentle tap for you with the positivity stick    your doing well darling.


Not much to report my end, ive now lost 7lb, thats with me eating a full on roast dinner sun, plus dessert and an easter egg! and ive lost a total of 6 inches, so im quite pleased with that.
I have decided to stay off work, im really enjoying being at home, so sod it, we're skint, but im happy doing my exercising and dieting, i wish really i could leave, i dont really like my job that much, but i havent got much choice, hey ho.


Hope you're all enjoying the spring sunshine, makes you feel so much better just to see the sun shining.


Take care my beauties    xxxxx


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## K.Notman

Well, had my date with 'Dildo-cam' this morning.  The lining is thin enough to start the oestrogen today.  So its 24mg a day (12 x 2mg tablets) with another scan booked for Fri 17th to check thickness again.  Bring on the hormonal symptoms!

I am feeling a hint of this cold so I'm really going to rest up, keep up my supplements and hope it disappears before turning into a full-blown nasty at exactly the wrong time!

The reflexology session I had last night was ok, not as good as I'd hoped and I feel the acupuncture is far more beneficial.  She was still a bit gentle and I think I wanted to feel more firm pressure.  She did do the specific fertility process though and said it was different to standard reflexology.  There are certain protocols depending on your day in the menstrual cycle so I can go back again in the week leading up to ET to do a specific one for thickening the lining, after that its more for 'stress-reduction' but I never have a problem with that (Me and Mr Marley have that sorted!).  Anyway, I'm glad I tried it and it was nice to have some pampering.

Poppy- you keep enjoying yourself hun, you'll be back in the rat race soon but for now, enjoy every minute.  Well done on the weight loss, keep up the good work xxx

Have a good one folks xxxx


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## jules418

Hi ladies 

Kirstie that is fab news Yay and your journey starts now how exciting. Bet you can't believe you are here already!!!! 

Poppy, well done on the weight loss hun I am struggling this week after 3 days away in London and maybe too much booze ha ha. Did you enjoy the SW Eaton mess?

Bexter, glad to hear the job is going well you will be running the place in no time lol 

Lottie,  how did your last week go? Will you be starting straight away at the new/old job? How is the house coming along 

Chixy how are you feeling hunni when is OTD? 

BeckyA good to hear you had a cab back your photos looked great,  I recon I need some holiday sunshine . On the train home yesterday my friend went on to last minute. Com and announced he was going to get off at international as he had an am offer to Barcelona for£25 just over night but it got me thinking so I may get dog sitters sorted and go somewhere with Bob see what offers are about 

Hi to everyone else 

Afm nowt much new in my camp job is still going really well just spent 3 days in one of the London offices doing a massive IT clear out. I have never seen so many keyboards mice cables etc but we did manage to get rid of most of it so the next stage of getting a usable space will start up week after next. Looks like I shall only go to London reduce a month now not sure how productive I will be on those days though as so much to do then a 2 week wait but hey ho. 
The sun is shining today and I have a dining session to join lol speak to you later 

Jules xxxxxx


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## poppy05

Hey beauts 

Well hows my lovely girls doing?
im sat here with the windows open, and thinking what a beautiful day to be stuck indoors!! 
you girls have been quiet, i hope its because you have all been doing lovely things?

Chixy how are you doing my lovely? when is otd? are you feeling any different? 

Kirstie, how you feeling babe? have the hormones kicked in yet? any news on ec yet?
 
Jules, im glad you are enjoying your new job, are you doing slimming world? im going to join when im back at work, i didnt make the eton mess, vic did the shopping and she just bought a couple of frozen desserts! but i will make it oneday 

Bexter, how you doing darling? hope you hear from the clinic soon with your appointment 

lottie, hows you babe? i see from ** that the twinnies are keeping their mummy from sleeping now? bless you, i cant believe how fast the time has gone though, its getting a bit exciting now 

Tricia, hi hunni hows you? you have been quiet i hope all is ok? are you like lottie now with the lack of sleep? i wonder who will give birth first out of you two? ooh i am excited 

kazza i hope all ok with you babe 

Hopeful i dont know if you still read here babes, but i think of you often and i hope you are well 

BeckyA, im glad you had a nice break away, it always make you feel better doesnt it to get away for a bit of fun, sorry to hear you managed to delete photos, how annoying! 

AFM, Im doing alot better, im ready to get back to normal now, ive got this week off work then im back on the 24th, its quite nice as i'll only have to work fri and sat, but im looking forward to seeing my work girls and my clients.
Iwent out with my bestie on fri, he took me out to lunch, and i ordered a chicken burger thinking that was the healthier option, and they sent me a bloody beef burger!!! oh well it was meant to be, i ate it, and thoroughly enjoyed it  then we did a bit of shopping, i just bought a jacket, like a suit jacket, and a handbag, then we came home had a good old gossip, and my friend took me out on the tiles fri night! i hadnt been clubbing since christmas 2013!!!! last year was all about tx, and i was a bit worried how i would be drinking alcohol again, but i was fine, i got absolutely battered!!  i danced, i sang, i chatted to random weirdos, including a very funny transvestite called maxine!! haha honestly i attract them all!
Then of course the drunken munchies set in, so i had a chicken kebab and cheesy chips!!!! ooops! haha sod the diet i had fun.
I spent yesterday hanging out my backside! but all back on my diet now, i really feel like i needed that night out, i feel so much better for getting out and being me again, it was lovely to do my going out make up and hair again, and not feel like a fat boring frump! 
I will be breaking my diet this weekend too, we are going to friends for dinner on friday and saturday, so gawd know what they will be cooking! haha vicki has lost a stone now, and i think im still stuck at 7lb cos i keep being naughty!

Hope you are all having a nice weekend, lots of love to you


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## Bexter83

Morning Whippers, happy Monday xxx ive been drafting up a message, lol, as have had to keep going out, so have an essay I'm working on in my notes . I really miss you all and am often thinking of you all and how each one of you are doing. 

Chixy, PMA bashing   And big hugs during the 2ww and please don't read into any symptoms or lack of, I've not come across any of the same symptoms for women with a BFP xxx when's your OTD? Lots love xxx

Lots of love to everyone, back on later. 

Xxxxxx


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## K.Notman

Morning all!
Well I decided to have one last weekend of freedom!  It was my cousin’s wedding on Saturday and we share the same really big friendship group and the whole family was there so it was a fantastic day.  I showed a little restraint with food (didn’t have any hog roast as I was still full from the wedding breakfast but still had the full English Breakfast both days at the B&B!) and I held off drinking until the evening and I spent 6 hours of that on the dance floor (burnt a lot of calories I can tell you and lost my voice!).  So now it’s Monday Morning it’s a new focus on Health, the cold is clearing up but I’ll be having early nights to make sure.  Drinking the water and herbal tea, eating the fruit and veg and protein as well as all the supplements and Brazil nuts!  I’ll try a gentle jog after work to keep the circulation going too.  I’m on my 12 oestrogen tablets a day which actually make me feel a bit sicky so I have them before bed so I sleep through it.  So far, not feeling too hormonal on them but I remember them giving me an appetite last time so as long as I have the healthy food in I’ll be alright. I have my next scan on Friday to check progress but don’t need to reach the optimum thickness until w/c 27th when donor is due to have her collection.  I have another acupuncture session tomorrow to open up the arteries and get the blood flowing to the uterus, following the same procedure as last time.  I’m praying that my donor is coping ok with the injections, words can’t express my gratitude.  

Bexter, I’m looking forward to reading your essay   !  I’m missing the chit-chat on here too.  

Poppy, I’m really glad you let your hair down and enjoyed yourself.  I felt fab after my night out.  Yes- you can draw the line and get back on the healthy eating but an occasional treat is deserved, and you deserved it.  I’m glad Vic is doing so well with her weight loss as well.  You guys will have a great time at your friend’s wedding too and will look fab in your new outfits.  Have a great week hun.  When are you back at work?  Make the most of your down time and your walking in the nice weather.  

Jules- sounds like you are taking control of your London office   , taking the bull by the horns.  It’s very empowering and makes you feel really good, especially if you can see the benefits of the changes.  A mini-break sounds great for you and Bob.  I hope you have fun window shopping for bargains.  I’m looking forward to our catch up on Saturday.

Chixy – These days are the worst in the 2ww and drag so much.  I hope going back to work today offers you some positive distraction rather than stress.  I hope you have some reliable sticks to pee on soon rather than the dodgy hospital one.  Sending you lots of PMA xxxxx     

Hey Lottie, Becky, Kazza, Tricia.  Have a good week all.


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## Chixy

OTD for me today girls. I am very sad to say it is another BFN   sad times AGAIN 

Love to all Chixy xx


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## Bexter83

Omg Chixy I'm so sorry  xxxxxx    I'm heartbroken for you xxxxxxx I wish it were different. I know it's such a painful time for you and the DH, big hugs to you both. We are all here for you xxxxxxxxxx


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## poppy05

Oh chixy darling im so very sorry   its so unfair, sending you all my love and a great big hug,   here for you sweetie, be kind to yourself, im gutted for you i really am xxxx


----------



## BeckyA

So sorry to hear that *chixy*. Sending you big hugs.


----------



## jules418

Chixy hun as I said earlier I am gutted for you and sending you huge hugs xxxxxx


----------



## K.Notman

Looking forward to seeing you on Saturday Chixy so I can give you a big hug in person.
Take time to accept and feel sad, there's no rush to 'get over it'.  Do you think you'll do more counselling or just wait until your review on 27th?


----------



## tricia1012

Chixy I just saw your post I'm so sorry   Wish it was a different outcome for you it's so unfair . Keep strong Hun xx


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## Lottie1802

Chixy im so sorry to see your news! I wish there didnt have to be bfns its so unfair  massive cuddles coming your way x x x


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## Bexter83

Morning Whippers xxx

*Chixy* how are you doing? Sending big hugs xxxx

Chixy, jules & Kirstie, have a wonderful time together today, wish I could be there. Hope you reserved the table for the whole day and night .

*Kirstie*, how you doing? How is the triple dose of Estrogen going? Any more news on your donor? And possible date for EC? Hope your donor is doing great with the Stimming too. Such a wonderful thing for someone to do. How did your scan go yesterday? Hope it went well and your lining is looking beautiful. How did your acupuncture session go?

*Jules*, how's everything going? Has flu Ju gone once and for all now? I hope that bug has shifted and your feeling fit and well. How's your health/diet plan going?

*Poppy*, how are you hun? Sounds like you've been enjoying your time off and you've got the weather with you next week too . Have you finished all the counselling sessions now? Any nice new recipes to try? Well done to you and Vic, how amazing is your weight loss!! You both must be feeling good.

Lottie, tricia, Becky, Kazza & hopeful, how are you all?

AFM, ok I gave up on the essay (sorry) half of it became irrelevant as I left it too long to write . I now have a new essay for you all to enjoy or bore you with! Hehe. Been really busy this end. So the temping job has been going really well, they want to keep me on and I want to stay on but been talking agent about increase of pay etc for long term etc etc but my line manager in the company has offered me a perm position for a diff role, with a lot more responsibility and I need to think over the weekend of what sort sort of salary I'll be looking for. So exciting! So I have a meeting with him next week and will know more. I've been exhausted though as there's been cold type symptoms common on which I'm fighting off and still trying to keep up with the wifey duties of all the cooking, cleaning, shopping and washing/ironing, I have no time for anything! Lol, I'm sure thus is normal but my head hurts and I swear I have grown more grey hairs . Been busy with other bits too but it's all fine. I'm going to go along with the job and try my best but I have in my head the worries of taking time off, we realky want a week away end of May (we really feel we need this, so mych has gone on in the last year) and have few dates over next few months but I'm hoping to start tx in June and got to think of a good excuse as to why I need some time off. Don't know how much hol I'd be entilited to and will take the min time off can in 2ww, incase I need more and more goes at this ivf milarky and need time off. So tomorrow am going buy some work shirts which are bit loose, so it hides my ivf tummy, so no dodgy comments or suggestions of pregnancy or to pass my probation period, so if I start wearing them now, it won't be obvious and to cover the my arms for the million blood tests during stimming which always come up bruised. However, I've lost my ivf weight and am back to my weight from 1.5 years ago , I'll enjoy this last month of it . 
I managed to get through to the lister after 3 days of voice message table tennis. I had a copy of the letter sent to Sam Abdullla at the lister from my consultant, requesting for an app and had my new address on the letter but I just knew that it wouldn't be updated and they'll automatically send to my previous add. So they've updated add now and sorting out an appointment. They hadn't even bothered to contact about making an appointment until chasing it up! Grrrrrr!! The fertility thing has been making me feel strange lately, there's lots of normal comments and convos about their kids and their pregnancies and I just wonder where it all went wrong with me. I feel a sadness everytime I see a pushchair, happy for them but a pain for me. I just really want this. I can't escape it wherever I am, ******** but that's my choice though, so my fault. Anyways, that's just touching the surface to how I feel but we all know and I'm so happy to have you ladies. I know I will get there abd I count my blessings everyday for all the good in my life, just got to get through it, that's all you can do.

Hope you ladies have a wonderful day and enjoy the sunshine xxxxxx


----------



## Chixy

Hello Walnut Whipper,

I hope you are all well. Thank you to all of you for your lovely support and kind words during my disappointment of yet another BFN. I certainly wouldn't cope without you lovely ladies.

*Bexter* Thank you for your lovely hug that I received through Kirstie on Saturday - it was just what the doctor ordered. Great news on your weight loss and returning to your weight pre - tx. Your temp job sounds wonderful and the fact that they have fell in love with you and do not want to let you go is just fantastic. Sounds like the world is your oyster and you can decide what is best for you in regards to taking a full time position or continue with temping until you are ready for maintaining a permanent post. I also need to thank you for your very kind offer of somewhere for DH and I to stay if we were to pursue treatment in your neck of the woods - so very kind of you.

*Poppy* hope you and DW have had a great weekend and the weight loss is continuing to drop off you both. So have you returned to dreaded work? if so - i hope it has not been as bad as you thought and you are enjoying being back in the saddle with hair dressing and chatting away with your clients. Thank you also for your support during my hour(s) of need.

*Kirstie* I cannot believe how fast your treatment seems to have come around and so very pleased that you are responding well to all the drugs and producing a beautiful lining in readiness for your beautiful embryo(s). I had a lovely afternoon on Saturday and it was great to see you and Jules - love our get togethers. Thank you also for your heartfelt hugs - very much appreciated and needed. So I have everything crossed that your donor produces the the goods for you and Ralph and this time you will get the huddle of joy(s) you so deserve hun.

*Jules* Lovely to see you on Saturday afternoon - love out get togethers. You guys are just what I need with the awful week I have had. I am not convinced the failed BFN has actually sunk in yet, but i am finding keeping myself busy and occupied with one thing another helps to not think about the fact that I have failed again to get the BFP we all so desperately want. You are doing amazing with your new job and seem to have taken the bull by the horns with your new role. Go girl.

*Tricia, Lottie, Becky, hopeful and Kazza* I hope you ladies are good and that you have all had a lovely weekend.

*AFM* So this week has been probably one of the worst weeks of my life - to date. Work has been extremely challenging due to a child protection issue - can't really tell you any more due to confidentiality but really didn't need it this particular week -ggggrrrrr. So having to deal with that and then coping with the news that tx has resulted in another BFN has been hard. I really don't understand why the embryos will not stay around or make it to full term because at the end of the day I have had various tests and all seems healthy and fine with my womb. My issue is the fact that I need help getting the embryos from A to B since my tubes are broken. it is so frustrating. To add insult to injury AF decided to turn up later on the same day as OTD - thanks AF for that - do you want a knife and twist it!!?? So I have a review on the 27th April - not looking forward to it to be honest because I feel I will be told the same old sh*t and I feel that BWH cannot offer me anything different to what they have already tried. Frustratingly they do not monitor our levels of progesterone so I have no idea if this could be a factor. One thing is for sure I am not ready to throw the towel in yet - good thing or bad thing - i am not sure. DH was surprised by my persistence and worries about how many times should we try?? I just feel adamant that there is no reason why it should not work for us. BWH is no longer the place for us - that much I do know. 
I had a lovely day Saturday - I caught up with the lovely Kirstie and Jules where we were ladies that did lunch - just what I needed after my hell week. This was followed by DH and I meeting up with my parents and dear friends in the evening for a delicious thai meal -yummmmm. to add to the lovely day the sun was shining and I spent the day with such lovely people.

lots of love to all

Chixy


----------



## poppy05

Hey beauts


Chixy, have you had immune testing? and what about asking for gestone and steroids next time? have u decided which clinic you will be moving onto? sorry to hear you've had a shi* week babes   


Bexter, firstly well done on the job, thats great news babe, goodluck for your meeting   
secondly, you are more than entitled to feel those feelings when you see prams etc, i think we probably all do dont we? dont beat yourself up about things like that, its allowed hunni, and you will get your time, you have to allow yourself to feel sad or angry or jealous, whatever the emotion it might be, allow it, dont bottle it up, it only makes things worse later on, trust me i know    why the eff are the lister dragging their heels? i dont get it? normally they are very efficient? i just want you to get your appt through and go and see the top dog!   


Kirstie hope you're ok sweetheart, hope that lining is growing nice and thick for those precious embies    


Hi jules, lottie, tricia, kazza   




AFM, My names Danni and im an alcoholic!!! oops shi* sorry wrong group!!!!!    hahaha oh god girls i am in a right state lol, so fri we went round friends for dinner, the plan was to have a couple of wines, as i was drinking sat night, as we had another dinner round different friends! 
so back to fri, i drank a bottle of wine to myself through dinner, felt a bit squiffy, then started on the jd, we decided to play shots roulette, and 4 of us drank a whole bottle of rum in about 20 minutes!!! then we had homemade raspberry vodka, and back to jd!!! (i feel sick typing this) i remember dancing round my friends lounge to madonna, then the next thing i was waking up in her spare bedroom, naked laying in my own sick!!!!!!!! omfg girls it was awful, vicki slept on the sofa as i had been sick all over the bed! and apparently i was sick all over their new cream carpet!!! im soooooo embarrased, i havent been that drunk or out of control in years, i mean im not surprised considering what i drank, vicki was worse she stayed up after i passed out and drank a litre of sloe gin with my friend! and she wasnt sick!
so you can imagine yesterdays hangover was really quite hideous, i actually cried i felt so ill, i forced myself out of bed at 6.30 lastnight, and showered and somehow managed to scrape myself together for round 2! i poured a wine when i arrived at 8.00 and the same wine was sat on the table when i left at 1.00!! i just couldnt face it, we had a nice meal, but the drink just wasnt happening, i honestly dont want to ever be that drunk again, i dont remember a thing!


Ok so now the serious bit of my post, i want you all to be honest with me when you reply to this, right so the friends we went round lastnight, are our bestfriends, ive known them about 15 years, vic went to school with 1 of them, so known them a long time, we arent as close as we used to be, but i think thats just part of getting older and having other commitments, anyway, we were chatting lastnight, and obviously the conversation wqs about me and how i was feeling, and i explained all about my counselling etc and how she had helped me reach my decision to adopt, and that prob in sept we will be applying blah blah blah.
Then during dinner it came up again and vicki mentioned adoption and my 2 friends looked at eachother, and i knew something was up so i said 'come on spit it out' and he proceeded to tell me they have started their adoption journey!!!! now please dont get me wrong, i think its wonderful, they are a gay couple who never expected to be dads when they came out all those years ago, and because we dont live in the dark ages anymore, they are in a position to be able to become parents through adoption, i knew one half of the partnership wanted to adopt, but the other half has always said he doesnt like children, we work together and he refuses to cut childrens hair cos in his words 'eww i cant stand those snotty nosed little fu**ers'!!! now, when i saw these two just after my BFN, i happened to mention im considering adoption, so i cant help but feel its a case of 'lets get i  there before them' situation! what do you think? they moved house in dec and moved into a pretty much derelict house, it needs absolutely everything doing, new kitchen, bathroom, rewiring, carpets, flooring, tiling, like everything, its only just habitable, and they had plans of doing this that and the other, i know one of them was planning on proposing this year, and i cant help but feel they have thrown all that aside just to be the first ones to get on the adoption road, i want them to be dads, and im happy they have decided to do it, but can you see where im coming from? or am i just being stupid? 
i dont care if they adopt first, it doesnt affect what we are going to do, vic and i have been trying for a family since last year, adoption is no different, we are just having a little stop gap, they happily shared their experience of the open evening they went to last week (me and vic very nearly went to it) and told us lods of info, said we can have a look at all the literature they have been given, so they arent being arsey about things, it just feels like they got a sniff of us maybe adopting so couldnt help themselves and jump in first.


Anyway thats my moan, im back to work friday, ive began to really feel i hate the place since ive been off, im sure after a day i'll be back to normal, but i dont want to go back, somedays i just feel like going to work in tesco!! just go in do my job and come home get my wages and not worry, guess i should be grateful i have a job, on the plus side, i get to see my girls, im desperate for a haircut! and i need products cos ive run out of everything! oh and my GHD's have stopped working so i need new straighteners!!   


Have a good week girls xxx


----------



## jules418

Hi all

Chixy, how are you today Hun? Sending lots of cuddles xxxx
Was lovely catching up with you and kirstie yesterday I do love our lunches. 

Kirstie, how is your friend hope your travel to Lincoln was ok. Super chuffed I still can't get over how quick you have your donor am so excited for you and Ralph xxxx

Bexter, fab news about the job of course they would love you. With your holiday just say you have a week booked and was booked before started but didn't mention it as was short contract blah blah. Could you have it in paid then start as perm on your return? Hope you negotiate salary and make sure you get sick pay.... I know I needed it grrrr. Hope you get sorted at the lister. It is totally natural to feel like that too I know I do. On sat we were sitting outside the 3 of us and some old dude (not at our table lol) then it was like a nursery had descended on us arghhhhhh!!!!! 

Poppy, aww Hun I went through that drinking experience with you then and I actually feel sick for you ha ha. Did the carpet clean up ok??
Hmm don't know what to say about your friends have you spoken to your anti child friend about it since? He may have been 'worn' down by his hubby and be bricking it. 
I don't know your friends but the fact they know about yours and Vics journey may have made them re-evaluate what they want and have jumped into it. I doubt it is a case of 1st gay friends to adopt from the group but I get why you would be feeling like that and if I honest I would too. It is hard to explain why I would but I know I would. 

BeckyA, how are you Hun. Any news on your next stage of this strange journey? Cool moped by the way lol

Hi lottie, kazza and Tricia how are you all feeling? Not long to go now are you all massive?? 

Hopeful hope you are well

AFM, hmmm nowt much to report really, job still going well. I had some fantastic feedback on Friday which was a real big boost to the old ego ha ha. 
Weight is not going well but I gave myself a talking to so no more [email protected]@t get those greens on the go. Also found myself a gym buddy 

Love to you all 

Jules xxxx


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## poppy05

Hi Jules
No i havent spoken to the anti child friend, im sure he doesnt dislike children, i think its more he doesnt know what to do with kids, and he doesnt wear his heart on his sleeve like his bf does, he appears quite hard and uncaring, but i know he isnt, he just doesnt know how to express feelings, so im sure he wants this too, and i hadnt thought of them re evaluatuing things cos of what we have been through, perhaps they just thought sod it, now or never, and i might just feel that way because ive had a tough time.
In a way i like the fact that potentially we could all be parents quite close together and do days out and stuff, it will be wonderful, and i really eantd to cry when they told me, cos i felt really happy for them, they are such a lovely couple, it just felt a bit odd. xx


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## K.Notman

Morning all!
Well Friday’s scan was great news.  After only 7 days of high oestrogen I managed an 8mm lining!  Well actually one part was 11 and one part was 6.5 but 8 in the middle, they couldn’t see triple lining yet but I still have another fortnight to go.  Acupuncture is going well and I have another reflexology tonight, although I’ll make this my last one as I don’t feel the need now.  I’ve been told to phone the hospital on Friday afternoon.  My donor would have had her scan in the morning so they can tell from that what they are going to do and when the collection will be.  So until then I’m still getting on with routines.  Getting all my spring cleaning done before the 2ww!

Bexter- Well done on the weight loss and doing really well in your job.  A permanent position sounds great and will give you something to focus on rather than the uncertainty of temping.  I agree it would be great for you to get a break in May before starting the IVF train again.  Well done for chasing the clinic, they can be so complacent with communication.  So have you got any ideas on what improvements could be done next time round?  Try to stay strong, you have done so well and we all know what those feelings are like when you see/hear baby talk.  They are natural for us and you are allowed to feel the way you do and that’s what drives us to do something about it.  We are here for you every step hun xxx

Poppy- Glad you have got a few more days of freedom. I’m sure you’ll be back into work mode after a day or so.  Well done again on your weight loss and keep up the good work.  Wow your drinking session puts my uni days to shame!  I’m not surprised you were poorly! I hope you had a good time though without too much regret.  As for your friends adoption, do you think that with you and vic going through IVF made them think about their family status a bit more?  Knowing they aren’t getting any younger and that the adoption process can take a long time anyway, they might have just want to get the ball rolling.  It does sound like they have their hands full with the house though.  Try to see it like you have good support from friends who are going through the same things as you.  You could learn from what they are going through to have inside advice before you get involved as they are one step ahead.  You just need to get yourself sorted first and then when you are ready you can give it your full attention.

Jules & Chixy, loved our lunch on Saturday too and the hugs.  Catching up on your news and sharing our support for the IVF train.  It was a bit annoying having all those kids near us but the sunny weather encourages us to sit outside so we have to ‘share’!  Lol, we should do an adult only venue next time! Ooh err!  Jules- my friend in Lincoln was ok thanks.  We got a lot done to her flat and I feel happy that she is ok now. Thanks.

Tricia, Lottie, Becky, hopeful and Kazza I also hope you are all ok.  Have a good week everyone xxx


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## Bexter83

Morning Whippers

How are we all?

*Kirstie*, hope your keeping well, really exciting times for you! Do you know how your donor got on at EC yesterday? Do you get the news today on the fertility rate and plans for ET? Xxxx remember the Bon Jovi Bob Marley remix.

How you doing *Chixy*? Hope your ok.

*Poppy*, how's it been back at work? You been ok?

*Jules*, know we've spoken, but hello and   . Have a great day

How's your new job going *Lottie*? How you doing? Have the house renovations been completed now?

Hey *Tricia*, saw that it was your last day at work yesterday. Do you have any things planned before babies arrive?

Kazza, Becky, hopeful, how are you?

AFM, yay after a million emails and phone calls, I finally have my appointment to see Sam Abdullah, which is on 11th May. So hopefully will gain some confidence from him and he and my consultant find the next protocol and can go on the pill to start again. Going to have to time it so EC or ET won't be when I'm booked to go to Latitude in July, so going to have to work that one out. Don't mind taking the jabs with me, as long as they stay cool and can take a doctors note to allow meds in. This is why I wanted to start in June and the lister were dragging their feet and I need to be on the pill for a month to start. Hopefully not too much of a wait after that appointment. But am feeling a little stressed with what to do about it with work. I started my new role yesterday, already going to take half day as holiday for that appointment. Unsure whether to take the time off EC/ET & 5 -7 days off at the beginning if the 2ww, as holiday, so they don't know anything but won't know til at the time what days I'll need to book it off as abd what if they say I cant? But I'm new and in my probation period for 6 months and don't want to bring up hospital stuff and say I need an op and recovery time of a week. Any advice?

Xxxxxxx


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## K.Notman

Morning Bexter- I’m fine thanks hun.  I was having a real wobble over keeping my lining looking good for a longer time but my acupuncturist has reassured me that there is no such thing as ‘too thick’ and as long as I keep up the routines, it will stay healthy.  I’m keeping up my weekly appointments to make sure blood flow is good and still having my slice of pineapple first thing and 4 Brazil nuts in the evening whilst wearing my bed socks!  
So donor’s scan on Friday showed that she is slow responding so they gave her the weekend to keep going and had another scan yesterday.  I’ve just phoned the hospital and they are going to call me back this morning to say whether EC will be Wed or more likely Friday and DH will go in the same day.  Then it’s a wait by the phone to see how it’s all going for an expected ET date.  I’m hoping she does well obviously and that we have good quality ones to choose from and the possibility of frosties.  I just want them in now as I’ve been ready for a week!  I’ve been thinking, if we have 2 put in again I’ll nick-name them ‘Bob & Marley’! lol! (thought I’d get in there before Jules comes up with any random names!).
If I was in your situation with work, I’d wait until nearer the time until you really know what’s going on.  You never know if you’ll get held back for some reason (God forbid) but you don’t want to have stressed about something that doesn’t actually create a problem.  EC will be the main time you have off but for ET and 2ww you might be better at work being distracted (I’m not having any time off other than the hospital appointments).  I hope the probation goes well in the mean-time.

Hello everyone else.  I know this board has gone very quiet now but some of you still check in.  Hugs to you all.


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## tricia1012

Hello ladies, 

Sorry I've been missing for a while all I've been doing is working  boring!!! 

Bexter - congrats on your new role  hope your well I would  just see how it goes if you feel that you can open up to someone at your work about time off then do but otherwise just do what you have to do there will always be jobs out there for you Hun if worse came to worse you've got to do whatever makes you happy . Yea I have finally finished work prob a bit early but I'm 12 hours on my feet all day and the commute was killing me so I'm going to have a good rest now for a few weeks  xx

Kirstie - so lovely to hear that things are moving along for you so well ! Wow so her EC will be soon it's amazing how quick time goes , btw I love your nicknames  ill honestly be keeping everything crossed for you Hun xx

Poppy - how are you ? How's it being back at work ?loving your ** beauty posts I'm a real make up girl so I'll have to be making an order omg that mascara looks amazing 😍 I need that in my life once payday is here I'll be making a purchase  xx

Lottie - how are you Hun ? Hope your ok and not going to crazy with the DIY mess 🙈 won't be long now xx

Jules - how are you ?  I'm glad to hear your job is going well   

Becky , Chixy , Kazza  and anyone I've missed hope your all well  now I'm off and I'll have time I'll have a proper catch up on here  

Afm : finally finished at work it's going to be very strange to be off for so long I've never not worked so I'm going to enjoy every min  had a very emotional send off last night my eyes are so swollen this morning ! And of course it wouldn't be a Tricia post without some  drama so last commute yday get to euston station where someone's jumped under a train and have to walk to Chelsea !! Not easy when your this fat lol , get to work and someone has driven through our shop window so had to spend the morning sorting that out 🙈 never a dull moment lol , you would think I make this stuff up !! 

Hope you all have a lovely day  xxxx


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## K.Notman

OMG Tricia you never have a dull day and with twins on the way it’s good preparation for the mayhem that you have to come!
Anyway, just heard back from the hospital…  Donor is in for EC tomorrow and DH to do his bit.  Then it’s wait by the phone to see when transfer will be.  So excited its happening now as I was getting worried about keeping this lovely lining going.  The Marley beans will soon be in the oven!!!!!!!!!!


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## Bexter83

*Kirstie*! Soooooo excited for you. Just think, your future babies will be conceived tomorrow night  .....Gotta get jiggy with it! (will Smiths words ). I bet your lining is looking wonderful and your acupuncturist is right, your lining cannot be too thick for the Marley beans. Don't stress, your doing fab, your staying healthy and all is good . Cute... Love your beanies names  and so funny that you had to get in there before Jules gave them crazy names 
Thanks loads for the work advice, I feel like a massive weight is off my shoulders now. I would rather work during the 2 week wait than spend these 2 months stressing about how I can take take time off, I'm sure that's more beneficial anyway. Will be so much easier to take just EC & ET off last min than trying to book a whole week off last minute and then worry about having to do it again and disguise it, if I need to again.

Thanks for your advice *Tricia*, am feelng less stressed about it now already . Good idea about you leaving work now, as your job is physical and your commute sounds a nightmare. Will be lovely to have a bit if a rest and 'nest' as they say before the bubbas arrive. Omg, what a polava yesterday!! You couldn't make these things up. How is the DH and your MIL doing? Are they recovering well?

Xxxxxx


----------



## K.Notman

Right- just got the call.  We got 5 eggs (seems low to me as we got 6 from my sister with a low AMH) and with ICSI 4 have fertilised.  Transfer is booked for 3pm tomorrow unless I hear otherwise by 10am (in which case it will be put back until Monday).  No idea of grades yet as it's early days so fingers crossed for good cell division now and that our little blessing is in there.


----------



## Bexter83

I'm so excited for you *Kirstie*!!! You have 4 fertilised embies there and they'll pick the strongest 2 to transfer, probably tomorrow. Even if 30 eggs were collected, they would only transfer 2 and yours can be no different (strength & quality) of the person who's having 2 transferred from a collection of 30 eggs, like I say. I understand where your coming from about collecting less eggs than expected but things are not always text book. She just may be a poor responder, like me? I believe your donor is a healthy 34 year old lady with a child? Was there an AMH or a day 2 of cycle FSH test done? Anyways my love, stay chilled, put some Bob Marley on, your going to have some love beanies transferred and I think you'll be seeing a Red Cross or 2 lines on a test in 2 weeks time . Xxxxxxx


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## K.Notman

Thanks Bexter.  I don't know a lot about the donor other than she is 32 and has no children.  In order to be a donor she will had had to undertake various tests and they would not have put her forward if she was not approved.  I was discussing it with my acupuncturist last night and we came to the opinion that they would not have wanted to over stimulate her for risk of OHSS.  So she would have had the dosage to replicate a 'normal' woman's cycle to keep it as natural as possible.  We knew she wasn't having any eggs herself or sharing them with any one else so actually 6 is a good number.  Anyway, I'm chilled and actually feeling excited- helps with it being a Bank Holiday weekend!


----------



## tricia1012

Best of luck kirstie   And great number remember it really is quality I only ended up with two both of my last attempts , keep us updated with how everything goes xxx


----------



## K.Notman

I have a top grade (4,4) embryo on board.  This was the one in the lead, the other three are catching up and they'll be observed over the weekend.  I'll find out next week if they are good enough to freeze.  They were really pleased with my lining so everything is looking hopeful.  OTD is 15th so now the waiting begins!
I've got a night in tonight with my feet up after my post- transfer acupuncture.


----------



## Bexter83

Congrats on being PUPO *Kirstie* xxxx I know we've been texting but super excited for you!!! You have a top grade embie on board with a beautiful lining for he or she to snuggle into xxxxx fingers crossed for frosties, more more sprogs. So your relapsing this weekend, enjoying your chocolate egg, lol&#128516; and you back you back to work tuesday? Hopefully work will name the time to quicker for you.

*Tricia*, how you doing hun? We live around the corner from each other, we must catch up some time. That's really interesting and encouraging xxxx


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## tricia1012

Kirstie - yay congrats on being pupo !! And a top embie that's amazing ! Now get those feet up and get it snuggled in  I know the wait is a nightmare just try and keep your mind occupied easier said than done I know . Still keeping everything crossed for you xx

Bexter - how are you Hun? I know we def should meet up I was saying the same to Lottie were all so close by  I'm ok struggling a little it's hard for me to get around now this bump is huge I went for dinner with my friends last night and they couldn't believe how huge it is 🙈 . Nice it having to commute into London anymore though  how's work ? When's your next review? Xx


----------



## Bexter83

Awww bless you Tricia xxx not long to go though and you'll be running around after these little ones, you'll soon be back to your usual self, feeling more comfortable. You deserve the break hun, honestly, the crazy things youve had thrown at you since last October, it's been mental, a nice break before the bubbas arrive is just what you need. That would be fab!!! I'll get texting this weekend and put something in the diary. I'm loving my job thanks, I wish I found this place years ago, feel a bit bad for planning on going through treatment to have a family but just got to take each day as it comes, try my best and do what I've gotta do ( wow that sounded like a ramble of sayings there , but it's true). We see Sam Abdullah on 11th May and will go through next protocol to try. Xxxx

Omg *Kirstie*, relapsing!?! Easter egg anomynos , I meant relaxing, ha ha. Xxx

So I was looking up an FF thread about Sam Abdullah and came up with something about poor responders. Am trying to fish out some useful info from about 80 pages and it dates back from 2009 and a lot of the women must have gone onto pregnancy threads or something after they posted about their hardships from being a poor responder etc, as most of the ladies who mostly were a lot older than me, with a lower AMH, bless em, had the pregnancy time line on their signatures with babies born now and it was just so lovely and encouraging to see.

How is everyone doing? Many plans over the bank hol?

Xxxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Morning Whippers,

I have found info on a new trigger shot, called kisspeptin, which induces egg maturation, rather than the usual HGS trigger, which is standard and works for most women but in my review, the concern was about responding so poorly and finding another different protocol and trigger, as the maturation of my eggs is the issue. If we weren't going to see the top guy Abdullah I would had researched this more and spoken to my consultant about it but I trust Sam Abdullah, I'll be interested if this is what he suggests to trigger with next time?

http://www3.imperial.ac.uk/newsandeventspggrp/imperialcollege/newssummary/news_18-7-2014-11-49-26


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## jules418

Morning ladies 

Sorry not been on for ages I just don't know where the time has gone. 

How are we all? 

Kirstie I know we have spoken but how are you fab news on being PUPO Yay looking forward to catching up with you tomorrow fingers crossed the weather stays dry for our magical bluebell walk. 

Chixy looking forward to seeing you too hun and the doggies having a nice walk too. When is your care appointment? 

Poppy, how are you hun, your makeup/beauty products venture looks fab Omg that mascara looks amazing!!!  How is it being back at the salon? Have you done any more research with adoption? My brother in law was adopted and his parents are just amazing lovely people (sis in laws partner) 

Tricia and lottie when are your bundles due? I guess you will be earlier as you have 2 snuggled in there,  hope you are both well. 

BeckyA, how are you hunni any news on your next tx cycle?  How is the weather in Spain is it warming up now? 

Kazza, how are you hun not long for you now either fish it has all gone so quickly hasn't it. 

Bexter, good news about your job and really pleased you are enjoying it.  Don't worry about taking time out from work and if you will/won't tell work yet,  you will know what to do when the time comes. Not long till your am appointment and a new plan of action. 

Hi to any one I have missed 

Afm, i am currently sitting in Nero cafe waiting fir my friend to turn up it is now 11.35 speed to meet at 11 lol she is worse than me at time keeping!!!  No news on treatment we are still hoping to start on long protocol from August's AF appearance when ever that will be but will be roughly same time as last year.  I have started back at the gym and I am so not as fit as last year bugger!!!! It is frustrating trying to do the stuff I did and not being able to but I will get there..... 
Work is going really well I am so tired ha ha gid tired though not bored tired like at last job. Getting the train is interesting,  last week some one had put a condom over the hand rest things on the back of the chairs, looked like they had spat in it so it looked like semen or at least I hope it was spit gross, then on the way home the lady next to me was picking her teeth eeewwww wait till you get home live and give them a good brush ha ha 
Tomorrow I am meeting up with kirstie and chixy and we are going to walk the dogs through a wood not far away. Every may day back holiday they open the bluebell wood lands to the public and it is so magical like a blue purple must you expect fairies to jump out lol. 

Any way have a great long weekend all and speak soon 

Jules 
Xxxx 

P.s. She still hasn't turned up...... Rubbish lol


----------



## Lottie1802

Hey ladies!

Well don Kirstie that's amazing news! I feel like I blinked on here and missed so much! I'm over the moon for you and sending you sticky positive vibes    

Jules I have friends like that always ruddy late. I saw your bluebell walk it looks lovely, very jealous. Treatment sounds like it's nearing so keep us all updated   Bundles are a bit unpredictable, the consultant just said if I've not gone into labour naturally by 36 weeks they plan to induce / c section depending which way twin 1 faces so I'm hoping the little wriggler turns round in time as I don't want c section! Other than that we're all doing well just very tired but can't moan, I've had it easy considering.

Hey Bexter how's you? The different trigger shot defo sounds worth a mention! Good research lovey! I miss tea and cake  ...and obviously your face ha ha when will I see you again 

AFM decorating is sort of nearing the end ! I'm so excited ! Other that I'm doing really well apart from my body not wanting to sleep at 3am when I should be yet come 3pm im nearly napping at my desk! I finish work on 12th June, I cannot wait, my body needs a good rest now 

Love to all my whippers..oh this will make you all laugh, the doc is putting me on iron tablets and all I can think about is how it will affect my poo's   I really haven't changed since treatment! I could have a leg hanging off and be ok with it, but if I'm not pooing right im heartbroken pahahaha


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## K.Notman

Thanks lottie, I love following what you are up to on ** too. Wow you are so big and still growing!

AFM, well I got the call yesterday about our other embryos. They were watching the other 3 over the weekend and all made it to blasto successfully which fills me with such confidence about the one we have on board. They have decided to freeze 2 even though they are a bit border-line in quality (5ac, 3ac) and recommended that if we do FET we'd need both defrosting and transferring together to give us the best chance. That's all a long way off yet but a huge weight off the mind none-the-less as this is our last NHS cycle and we'd have to pay for any future tx so a cheaper FET would suit our pockets rather than the whole £5-7,000 package!

I'm still feeling good and happy with everything. I was having a right chuckle yesterday - I had a wander on the '2ww' part of the forum (even though that can freak me out because of the amount of worriers on there!) and stumbled across this&#8230; "Orgasms in the 2ww"
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=9452.0
Ladies just randomly waking up having an orgasm despite no physical action or kinky dreams- they call it the 'sleeping O'! OMG I've never had anything like that! Anyway, it was interesting and entertaining reading for 10mins or so.
On that note, I'll bid you all a good day! 
Lots of love
Kirstie


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## Lottie1802

Kirstie that's brillint news on the blasts! And some snow babies aswell how amazing   I have everything crossed for you now, hopefully I'll be following your bump pics soon on **   

Well here I am my usual 3-5am awake slot! Sat on the edge of my bed wondering what on earth I can do with myself


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## jules418

Hi Ladies

Kirstie fabulous news with the frosties oooo I need to get in early and think of some 'unique' names haa haa 

Lottie, boo for not sleeping but I guess you will be used to it when the night feeds start up hee hee. 

It dawned on me the other day that it is not long til august cycle so I need to get serious and shift this weight, I was looking at pics from last year and I was in size 14 and I remember liking it. so I am focusing on that feeling now and doing the chocolate or a baby, burger or a baby mantra  

no more news from me - I had my hair done tonight andthat is as exciting as it gets haa haa. 

love to you all

Jxxxx


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## BeckyA

Morning lovely ladies, sorry been a bit awol, was waiting for something to happen so I had an update for you all...nothing as yet. Blummin AF is 4 days late but defo no preggo as done 2 tests just to check (you never know!) and also, sorry if TMI, but had very light pink discharge so I reckon she is on her way. Anyway, I rang thie clinic this morning, took about 6 attempts for anyone to answer the phone (  ), as i really need to know if am gonna do IVF this month or not as I have my best friends wedding in 2 weeks time in the UK! So...the nurse I spoke to is not the one who handles the timetables, so I am patiently (not) waiting it out in my living room for them to call me back....could be anytime up to 2:30pm...arrrg! In the meantime, I need to change DH's flight if we are going to the wedding as he can't get the monday off work now, and all the flights on the sunday are increasing by the hour! They are about 170 euro now, yikes! But i cant book anything until they defo confirm its not this month...can you tell I am going stir crazy!!! 

Anyway, enough about me, *kirstie* I am super excited for you and have everything crossed you get the bfp you deserve. Great news on the frosties, that is always a good sign.

*jules*, august will be here in a flash, good luck with your weight loss but dont beat yourself up about the need for treats, once in a while won't hurt you. Your walk with kirstie and *chixy* in the bluebells looked fab. Yes, it has started to get sunny over here, about 20 degrees plus every day, nice! Out comes the summer wardrobe, yey!

*lottie*, boo for insomnia, glad you decorating is nearly done, and eeek! Not long to go now at work. I bet you are counting the days.

*bexster*, when is your next appointment? Hope your new job is going well and you are settled into it!

*tricia*, how is it all going? Are you enjoying your mat leave?

*kazza*, hope all going well for you too.

*poppy*, hun, how are you doing? Good i hope

Anyone else I have forgotten? Hope not, hugs to you all.

On a final note, just putting it out there  but I am planning to be in the UK in august between 14th and 29th. I stay with my parents in hertfordshire, so if any of you were up for a london/herts/beds/bucks/essex meet up, it would be FABULOUS! Xxx


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## jules418

Quick reply from me.... Deco up for a meet up in aug. it's my birthday on 20th so can't do filling weekend think that is 23rd but any other time is grand whoop whoop xxx 

Will reply more later


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## Bexter83

Hey, hope your all well xxx just a quick one from me also. Becky, that would be fab!! I'm free on weekend 15th and the 22nd, be great to get a date  xxx


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## K.Notman

Morning Whippers!
Well, 4 more sleeps and I’ll know!  I’m throwing myself into work and doing some more back-stage help at theatre this week (Witches of Eastwick) in the hope of killing time.  I’ve had a lovely weekend away with my sisters and we managed a BBQ in the lovely weather as well as some gentle walking to keep things moving.  I’ve had to buy some larger work trousers as my other ones were getting too uncomfortable.  If this is a negative on Friday then I’m going to have to get exercising properly again as I’m feeling frumpy.  I’ve not been to karate for the last fortnight and having withdrawal symptoms!
A meet up in August suits me.  I can’t do 1st or 8th but am free for the other weekends.
Bexter- Thanks for the supportive texts.  It still seems a bit surreal that this is me cycling as I’m usually giving all the advice to others.  I’m feeling positive but there is still a part of me that is preparing for the worst.  We know the last cycle didn’t work due to egg quality so this time with a good grade embryo I’m scared that a negative may be some other issue to do with me and we’ll have to do more testing.  Well, we’ll see.

Becky- good to hear from you.  So any sign of AF?  Did the clinic phone you back on Friday with some timescales? Are you going to the wedding?  How we put our lives on hold hey!  Let us know how you are getting on though as we are here for you.

Jules- I’m waiting to hear the names of my frosties! I hope that you had a good healthy weekend with lots of activity now you have this new motivation.  You’re right, August will be here soon and you’ll be having those lovely waiting room experiences at BWH again!

Chixy- I’m glad you are focusing on the next cycle at CARE Nottingham.  I think they will fill you with positivity and confidence by just having a fresh look at everything. It’s going to be very interesting for you to make comparisons and see what this next cycle has to offer.

Lottie- I hope your twinnies let you get some rest and sleep.  It’s amazing to think you are still working and trying to carry on for as long as possible.  How much prep have you done or are you a last minute girl? I’m sending you lots of positive vibes.

Tricia- how are you m’lovely?  Any more dramas to report?
Kazza- I hope you are keeping well too.
Poppy- I’m really pleased you are throwing yourself into your make-up work and it’s a good distraction for you.  These next few months are about you being yourself before getting stressed about adoption.  So enjoy the summer and be happy.

Have a good week folks and I’ll let you know what Friday brings!


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## Lottie1802

Hey ladies!

Wow Kirstie, I feel like I'm on the countdown with you (biting my nails) ,not long now ,   For your BFP  , your stronger than me ..it was about now on my 2ww I had a full blown meltdown , but it was so worth it! 
Preparation is going well, I had to be monitored at hospital the other day because I had braxton hicks every 4 mins all afternoon, it gave me a little scare that I've not really prepared myself for if they come early so I half packed a bag just in case...spent about two hours crying because the reality hit me that I'm having two babies...it just still hasn't hit me , it feels like I'm stood outside of my life watching this all unravel , very surreal feeling. Nursery is finally going up Sunday after our carpets go in ! I'm getting my house back at last! 5 more weeks of work if these little ones let me.

Becky I can do August that would be fab  

Jules hope your keeping well , I'm back awake tonight ...it's so boring between 3-5 I need to get myself the modern equivalent of a game boy or something to pass the time   This will make you chuckle, the docs have put me on iron tablets and my poop has turned black   from ivf to birth they just won't leave my number twos alone lol 
August is flying round now my lovely! EEK it'll be your 2ww before you know it  

Bexter how you doing? All settled in at home now? I'll ping you a date later for cake


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## Bexter83

Morning whipper snappers!

*Lottie*, knew you'd be awake now. Am joining you in the club, 03:37  it's so not cool!! Going to be a long day! Am so tired but can't sleep. Aww hun, it's been an emotional time your pregnancy has been, you've constantly worried, felt guilty (but you shouldn't) and I think it's played havoc on your sleep. You e done so well and not long to go and well done for starting to pack your bag too. Leave it almost packed but not fully, sounds unlikely that you'll be hanging around after your due date but I swear the more prepared the mum to be is, waiting around, the longer the delay seems to be. Lol! Have you been I the Lactolouse? You and your poo's  you are funny! Yay!!! Tea & cake date needs to be in the diary ASAP!! With these early wake up calls, I think I coukd start to learn to bake. You know what you need for these early mornings, get a cross stitch pattern or learn to knit, quite therapeutic. I've attempted to attach a pic of a cross stitch pattern I made for my friends baby (may not send though), did one for my sister when my nephew was born. Want to do one now but because I wanted to do one for my baby(s), I just don't think I can do it now, it will wind he up, lol. Anyways, I hope your sleeping improves abd you get more rest hun xxxxx how's your new job going? When's your last day? Must be soon. 
I'm ok thanks chick, work has been a really good distraction and is going well but is quite challenging, I'm having a few Jen from the IT crowd moments. They want to put a colleague on team on an excel course and I was there thinking I really need this too but am on my probation period and the moment realky wasn't right for me to ask if I could go on it also but I've borrowed a book on excel which I'll flick through. Still not found a house yet but this place is lovely and comfortable and settled in nicely, so no rush. Took the last if the curtains up the other weekend and took them up the wrong way round and had to start over when I didn't want to kill it!!  xxxx

*Kitstie*, your doing fab hun, not long til your BFP . Awww bless you hun, hate that frumpy feeling but let it be another 8 months of it. It is v frustrating when you can't realiy do much energetic stuff to get rid of it but the feeling is much worse than how it looks. It will work!! But know what you mean about if other issues if not (but it will!!!!). just keep doing what your doung and get any what ifs / other issues out of your mind now, let's see on Friday and we'll go from there (sorry, bossy head on there). Fortunately if issues other than egg, NK cell testing can be done which you can get the right drug for and progesterone testing, which can get more and diff drugs to support this. In the meantime, rekax, sing Bob Marley xxxxxx

*Becky*, any sign of AF? Wgats the latest? How have you been? Xxxxx

*Jules*, *poppy*, *tricia*, know we've been texting but hello  And , hehe, hope you have a great day cxxx

*Kazza*, How are you?

AFM, saw Sam Abdullah at the lister yesterday and we're trying long protocol next time (using buserelin and Gonal F to stim instead of menopur, then pregnyl 3x ampules to trigger instead of ovetrille.) these drugs will be a lot cheaper than my Menopur & Cetrotide protocol, which is a bonus. He did another AMH test, which I'll get results back this week, just to be sure what it is, as last result shows a good level and should be getting around 13 eggs and able to pick the best ones to use and potential for freezer but I'm responding as if I have a v low egg reserve and then using the only ones I have to transfer and it's about the quality of the embryo(s) which will develop). He suggested that i have a day 5 transfer to see if embryos make it to transfer (blastocyst) to see if making it to that stage, instead of an earlier transfer like they do when less eggs retrieved, so just need to be strong and let them do that, rather than think give them a fighting chance but it leaves us with less knowledge. I need to do an FSH day 2 blood test when eventually get my period (still no period since bleed from failed cycle, day 23 of cycle now), need to register at a doctors surgery this week! Oh the joys! So the issue are my eggs and it's a numbers game, so we need to keep going til we have success or have a donor egg(s). He was brilliant and v realistic, very straight. They are basically my 2 options, so going to keep trying with my own and re access after each cycle but hopefully will get success without going to mad or bankrupt, lol. I woke up with pains this morning but I've had 60 & 90 day cycles, so it could be anything. Very annoying though because I need to wait for this natural period to arrive to have this test. Thanks for the tip though Jules, I'll stick on white bottoms and take the tampons out of my handbag, ha ha. 
Right, I'm going to crack on with the ironing now......#living the dream# 

Much love to you all xxxxxx


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## Bexter83

Day 43 of cycke, not 23. Pic didn't attract either. Think may yo for a real coffee😱 xxxxx


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## K.Notman

Bexter, I'm glad you have a straight talking consultant who is going through all the options with you.  Did you have a scan to check your egg reserve?
It sounds like you have got the next cycle planned which is good to focus on.  I hate this trail and error where the 'error' is the heart brake of a failed cycle.  I know it's a big decision to opt for the donor egg route (I feel lucky that I just went straight there and didn't have to go through all of this trialing first).  There are a lot of women on my 'donor egg cycle buddy board' who have been through lots of failed cycles before deciding to do DE and they have now got their BFPs.  I know you need to follow all of your attempts first though before you accept that as an option.  So for now, lets do our AF rain dance to hurry her along for you!

Love to all xxx
P.S. 3 more sleeps!


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## BeckyA

Hello whippers!

*kirstie*, have got everything crossed for you for the right result on Friday!

*bexster*, glad the appt went well and you have a plan of attack for the next cycle. Boo to AF for not showing up. Hope she pays you a visit soon.

Ooh, august looks like a goer.  I could do weekend of 15th or 22nd. Would probs prefer the 22nd but dont think jules can do that. If it's the 15th or 16th i would have to leave DH at my mum's house for the day! (As he is coming over for the first weekend)

Thanks for asking after me ladies. Well, the waiting got too much for me so I called the clinic back at just after 2 ("we were about to call you!"), and upshot is that hopefully doing cycle in june. AF turned up friday evening. So got a baseline scan appt on 2nd june, looking to start on saturday 6th june if AF on time. Straight to stimms as per last 2 tries. So, cinderella is off to the wedding, unfortunately on her own now as flight for DH would have been about 200 euro, plus he hasn't 100% got the friday off work, so we decided better just me on my own. So, salad and water for me for the next 2 weeks!!


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## K.Notman

Thank you Becky.
I'm excited about meeting up in August and am flexible as to what we do and where.
I'm really glad you've got a date to plan towards and I hope that AF doesn't hold you up.  So 2nd June isn't that far away really, yay!
It's lovely you have a wedding to go to too and that will be great to pass the time and let your hair down whilst you can.

Love to everyone

P.S. 2 more sleeps!


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## jules418

Hi Ladies, 

BeckyA, good news from the clinic and not long to wait now. Ooo I love a good wedding I do. Shame DH can't be there but wow that is some expensive plane tickets. Where do you fly from? 

Kirstie, well done on holding out til tomorrow. I have to admit I would have caved in and was dying to say that yesterday but I put my sensible head on for you  

Bexter, how are you hun, glad work is going well for you and busy is key. Don't worry about the course hun you can learn everything you need to know on Google.... seriously.... That is what I do for my work haa haa. if all else fails turn it off and switch it back on again lol. 

Tricia, how are things with you? DH and MIL... hope you are ok and coping with your twosome. 

Poppy - glad to see you are getting involved in your new venture and you certainly seem to be happier and livelier...it is good to see.  Happy birthday for today also.xxxx

Aww lottie that sucks about sleeping. I have two monster heads, one is tea and the other is sleep and I get rather stroppy if I have neither haa haa. At home I shout at Bob (he probably deserves it hmmm) at work I go looking for stuff I can moan about usually the state of the store/build rooms then I feel better hee hee good job they like me here  how are you settling in to your new role? 

Hi to all the lurkers  

AFM - I had a bit of a cry last night, I am ok but it has been building up. I was saying to bexter I needed a good cry. It still not a good cry but the tip of the iceburg. I went to my sisters last night for abrew and a quick catch up and she has also been doing SW she is looking amazing and is super focused at the moment (unlike me) and she was like how are you doing and I was like really rubbish I just can't get my head in the game. so we were having a good old chat and she was my shrink haa haa asking all those probing but thought provoking questions that shrinks do. (she isn't a shrink btw but has done some life coaching courses through work) so anyway we drilled down and she was saying why do you want to lose weight? So I can cycle again. Why do you want to cycle? So I can have a baby. And what would that mean to you? The world. What would it mean to not get to cycle? I would be devastated. Why cos I wont get chance to be a mom. So why do you think you can't lose weight...... well I think cos I can control it not working..... If I don't lose weight I can't cycle and I have no baby........ If I lose weight, cycle and I lose it again I don't think I could cope and it is out of my control 
SO, how do I stop thinking like that and thinking that it will work so that I am sensible with my food? I just don't know. And I thought I was ok lol......

on the other hand the job is super fab and I love it  Why is it that when your car turns a corner you pick up a lovely passenger another one jumps out the back haa haa. 

I think some bum shakes are in order


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## jules418

I'm going to see if I can sort birthday things out for the following week instead of 22nd or the week before xxx


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## poppy05

Hey ladies


Im so sorry ive not been posting, just feel i need some time away, its not that im not interested or happy for you girls but i need to stay away from tx stuff for a bit, i know you all understand and thats why i love you all   
Im fine, i just need a break.


I came on to wish Kirstie luck for the morning, ive been thinking of you darling, and i so hope this is your time, you deserve this so much, i will be on to check your news as soon as i wake up!
good luck gorgeous girl     xxxx


I will be back soon to do a proper post and catch up with you all, but please know i think of you all each day, and i hope our mummies to be are doing well, and anyone else planning their next tx's i hope all is well with you girls too.


Much love to my special girlies
Poppy xxxxxxxxxx


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## K.Notman

Sorry to say, I got 3 negative pregnancy tests.


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## Lottie1802

Kirstie I am so sorry to hear that, I was feeling so positive for you  This is just so unfair, when are the whippers going to get their break you all deserve it so much , I know no words will make it better but just know i'm thinking of you  x x x x x x


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## BeckyA

Oh kirstie, so sorry to hear that. Sending lots of hugs your way. Xxx


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## tricia1012

Kirstie - I'm so sorry I really hoped you were going to get the outcome you deserve it's so unfair , sending you massive hugs and here for you always xx


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## K.Notman

I'm emotional at the amount of wonderful support I've received from family and friends (including you lot!).
I've spoken to hospital, need to stop all meds and wait for AF then prepare for normal HRT to get my body balanced again.
Ive had good advice from my guru acupuncturist, she says it was the embryo not me or my lining. The frozen embies made it to blasto but we don't know if the one in me did (3 day transfer). The chance of success is higher with FET (providing they survive the thaw).
My review is on 27th July (my consultant is very booked up and that was a cancellation!). That will give me time to get fit, healthy and back to normality ready for FET.
It just wasn't meant to be...this time....


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## hopeful1985

Hey my lovely ladies.

How are you all? Sorry for going AWOL and deserting you but needed some time.

Wow Tricia and Lottie time is fast approaching! Hope you are keeping well!

Kirstie I was so sorry to read your news. You are obviously a strong kind woman who has a lot of support - make sure you lean on people when you need. Wishing you all the best with your frozen embies and as you say the chances will probably be more in your favour.

How is everyone keeping?

Jules I see you are planning to start your next cycle in August? Me too. I have had my consent form meeting etc. So fingers crossed we can support each other. Its going to cost approx £6,000 aahh its a scary amount of money but please god its worth it in the end.

I have missed you guys. I am so sorry I disappeared but with the ohss and miscarriage (i ended up having a d and c) it took a toll physically as well as emotionally and I needed time to recover. 

Hope you forgive me

C xxx


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## Mrs_F

Hi old whipping gang...
I cycled with you all (I'm Jules' cycle buddy) and although I don't post, I do read often to see how you're all getting along. I so wished I had logged in to read happy news this morning, Kirstie, I am so sorry that this cycle didn't work for you x I still fondly remember your enthusiasm and support when we all cycled together back in the autum.
Wishing you all lots of luck, whichever stage of treatment or new plans you are at.
X Mrs F x
(And hello to Lottie, I see you on the July board) x


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## Bexter83

Hi Whippers, 

Hope you are all well. Ok, can anyone shed some light on this? So 13 months ago my AMH result was 16.54. App past week at the lister, he wanted to do another AMH test to double check it, as I respond so poorly and should be getting many more eggs than I do and got my new AMH result back and it was 31.5 !?!?! How can it double? It's an egg reserve. It should decrease with age. AF still not arrived (day 49 of cycle). Need it before can go on the pill to start be able start next cycle and patience is wearing very thin. Also came home this evening to a bill from the lister of £1070, which I'm imagining is the freezing bill for the FET I had as couldn't transfer on same cycle. I love that no one tells me these things at the time. This my last cycle to £7!!! Was billed for the consultation I had last week although was told in my review I wouldn't need to pay for, as I was being sent to him by consultation to find a protocol to suit. And there's an error on my prescription. It's all doing my head in!!!


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## K.Notman

Oh *Bexter *I really feel for you going through all this confusion and being billed for it in the process! As far as AMH stuff, I'm really clueless I'm afraid, as having no ovaries its not something I've had anything to do with. I would challenge all of the bills though if you were told you weren't being charge; it's probably where the two departments aren't communicating. I'd be really frustrated too if I wasn't told the costs of things before-hand, to receive a bill like that must be such a shock. I'm going to want to see a full price-list so I'm going in eyes-wide-open.
Dare I suggest it but have you Googled to see if other people have a high AMH but don't respond well?

Hello *Mrs F*. Thank you for you kind words. I hope all is well with you xxx

*Hopeful*- Thank you too for thinking of me. You have gone through a lot yourself and it takes time to heal. Have you had much positivity in the way of a consultation and review of your tx? ANy plans for the future?

*Tricia, Becky, lottie, Poppy*, Thank you too for your support. Big hugs to you.

*Jules & Chixy*- Looking forward to our next lunch date. Thanks for all of your messages.

*AFM*, Well after wallowing with the tissues Friday morning, in the afternoon I went for a 7km jog, mowed the lawns, weeded the patio, cleaned the bathroom and felt much better. The weekend was great escapism being away with the in-laws and we went to the sea-side too.

It was a bump to reality yesterday though and my period came on with a vengeance and severe pain which was awful as well as the emotional connection of losing the embryo. I was very tearful all day, so very 'un-birthday' despite lots of lovely cards, pressies and messages. I shut myself away for a night in with DH who cooked a lovely meal and we snuggled up with a film.

This morning I feel completely different. I feel like I can move on now. 3 days on with no hormones to mess me up has allowed my bowel function to return to normal (relief!). I'm in less discomfort and just feel more positive. I'm having three healthy days before going away to visit friends for the weekend where I think I'll feel more like celebrating my Birthday. Then Monday will be all focus on bikini body ready for summer holiday the first week in August. I want to lose a stone which is very do-able. I cycled to work for the first time in a month today and start back my karate training tonight so I'm getting back on the wagon that is my life which was in limbo for a while. Just got to keep ticking off each day at a time.

Lots of love to all xxx


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## hopeful1985

Kirstie wish I had your commitment to exercise, I'm useless!

I didn't really have a review as such, was told in consent meeting that there was nothing unusual with miscarriage and these things happen. Had my baseline scan and womb and ovaries look 'normal' whatever that is these days! Long protocol again, paid the £4k this morning to hospital and gotta do the blood tests but not having my next treatment until august as my doctor is on annual leave in July so can't start in June as she wouldn't be around for EC etc... Its a bummer to wait but I don't want anyone other than my doctor, after starting the ivf process 3 years ago she's been with me throughout and I trust her.

Hope you have a fab weekend away and celebrate your birthday in style xxx


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## jules418

Hi all. 

Long time no speak. How are we all??

Just a quick one if everyone is still up for a meet up on sat 22nd I can do that sat have agreed to do birthday stuff the following weekend which is also bank holiday weekend so extra party day lol

Jxxxx


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## BeckyA

Hello whippers!
I am defo in for a meet up in August. It's in the diary!  

Unfortunately didn't get the news I wanted at this mornings baseline scan. Everything is ok but won't be cycling this month as clinic closed next week due to local fiestas and so they wouldn't be able to scan me then (af due this Friday so would have started stimms on Saturday). Also as clinic shuts down in July and August, I won't be cycling til September. GUTTED.


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## Bexter83

Hi Becks, so sorry to hear about not being able to cycle til September, big hugs hun . This time will fly by and will be September in no time xxx more Rijoca in the meantime . Xxxx
Becks & Jules, fab news about the Whippers get together, I have put it in my diary  Xxx


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## Lottie1802

Ahh becky I'm sorry to hear that, it sucks when you get a delay like that ! I hope the time flies for you  

I hope all my ladies are doing well big hugs to all of you


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## Bexter83

Thanks Lottie  . Not too long for you hun, so exciting!!! Xxxxx


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## tricia1012

Hi ladies , hope you are all well  most of you know I've given birth early to my two little bundles  

Never give up on your dream of becoming a mummy no matter which route you have to take to get there , it's taken so much for us to get these babies and believe me the drama did not stop during labour ! You all know what bad luck I have with illness 🙈 I know to well how hard this journey is and I will keep praying for each and every one of you that your dreams come true aswell . 

I'm living in the special care unit at the hosp at the min so I'm really busy between the both bubbas but I will always pop on and keep an eye on how all my whippers are getting on you were all such a great support to me   

Love and babydust to all xx


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## hopeful1985

OMG TRICIA!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Wishing you and your family a massive congratulations and best wishes for the future. Soooo happy for u. Getting teary eyed here! Xxxxx


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## K.Notman

Morning Whippers!

It's a glorious day and what is going to make it better is another lunch with my FF girls Jules and Chixy, yay!  22nd August is on my calendar too, looking forward to a day trip and chin-wag!

Becky, sorry to hear of your set back.  It's awful when you have your heart set on doing it and it is taken away from you.  On the plus side, Chixy is hopefully cycling in July/August and Jules & I will be in August/Sept and maybe Poppy will be sorting the adoption stuff so we'll have a bubble of us gong through together!  Mine is just the FET.  The review meeting isn't until 27th July and I'll have to do a course of my hormones for it.  I'm currently back on the HRT (like I was from Jan-March) which worked really well last time to get regular monthly cycles and a good lining thickness.

I've been following the Whippers births on ******** and am so so so so happy for you all as we know what you have gone through to get your dream. I still think there is hope for those of us still going through it so we'll keep trying.

Lots of love to all xxxxxxxx


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## hopeful1985

I will be cycling August too xxx


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## jules418

Well hello Ladies ............. 

We have gone quiet on here haven't we. Hope you are all well. 

I am good no news from me. still trying to shift some weight (unsuccessfully) so I can start cycle in August however I am looking at alternative venues like Birmingham Priory, I had to cancel the last open evening as I had forgotten I was in London that day and wouldn't get back in time booooo so I am now booked in for 17th July. 

I went to see a spooky lady last week and I feel a lot more positive about things I know it is probably all a load of pooey but it made me feel positive and she knew there was nothing wrong with me or Bob and said it was just timing and that it will happen and by end of the year I will have a bump. She also said I wouldn't go full term and they would want to get 'them' out in week 37 or 38 but no complications. she knew I had had 2 miscarriages and knew one was natural (I didn't tell her that) so I am hoping that it is true either way I am thinking positive and that has to be a bonus doesn't it still super scary though. 

So who is up for 22nd August? Meet up in London? So far we have Bexter, Kirstie and BeckyA.....who else is on the list? It is also my birthday weekend but no pressure begging there haa haa

Hopeful good to hear from you hunni and yayyyy for cycyling again in August. 

Tricia - I know I have said on ** but yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to your beauties they are sooooooo damn cute. Happy to hear they are now home and they have grown loads too xxxx how big were they when born? 
Hope hubby and MIL are ok also 

Poppy - not sure if you are still ducking in but glad to see your business is going well. WOW those eyelashes look AMAZING!!!!!!!

I am currently on the hunt for a campervan, I want to go on trips with the doggies and am not a tent person haa haa. I don't mind it but I just get sooooo hot - not like the old pole tents where you had head height now you have to crawl crawl crawl. 

Bexter good luck on your injections when they start soon. 

Kirstie - how are you getting on with the exam marking? Looking forward to seeing youin a couple of weeks. 

Sharon - how are you - how is that cold hope it has gone now. any news from you? 

Kazza and lottie - not long for you guys now either lottie you do make me laugh and your photos, you look soooo beautiful but wow MASSIVE!!!!!! beautifully massive though xxxx 

BeckyA - well jealous of the KISS concert looked loads of fun .... Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii wanna rock and roll all niiiiighttttt and party every day !!!!!!!!! 

Right hope I haven't missed any one if I have love you xxx  

and here are a few bum shakes for old times

         

Jules
xxxxx


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## poppy05

Hello my beauties   


Wow I've not posted here in ages! my bad!


How are you all? 
I can't believe our first mini whippers have arrived!!! Tricia how are you all doing babe? the twins are so adorable, like teeny weeny little dollies, I saw on ** that you are all home now? it must be so wonderful to finally have them home.   


Jules, wow thats amazing what spooky lady said, its always nice to have something to keep you focused, and I def think you will be sporting a lovely bump this christmas   
I cant do the 22nd, firstly I work Saturdays, and secondly I have arranged to go to Ipswich with a friend, our hotel is booked so I cant change it, its a shame as I would love to meet you all.


Lottie, not long now hun, you can't get any bigger you will pop!   


Kazza you too babe, not long now, bet this last bit is horrible? how long have you got to go?   


Kirstie, how are you my lovely?   


Bexter, hope you're ok babes, hows the new job going?   


Chixy i hope you are well darling   


hopeful, good to hear you are cycling again in Aug, we are all here for you   




AFM, well its been so long since I posted here I'm sure there must be lots to tell you but i can't think of anything   
I am most certainly in a better place than what I was last time I was posting here, I've kind of given FF a wide berth for a while, just nipping in here and there to check my boards but no posts.
I am all back to work and settled back in now, we haven't looked any further into adoption yet, I'm still not ready for another journey, I'm excited that theres that option there for us, but I need to just allow myself to get over everything and be me again for a bit.
We booked a holiday at the weekend, we are off to Egypt (sharm el sheikh) in Nov, quite a late holiday but will be nice to get some winter sun.


Remember me telling you I was going to a wedding in Sweden? well we have that on Aug 1st, i bought the last part of my outfit today, so im excited now im all ready, well i need to get some 'suck it all in' underwear!!! then im done!!   
Still not lost the weight i wanted to, but i have lost 10lb!! considering ive been eating choc, and drinking alcohol I cant believe ive only put 2lb back on! 
must get back to it though, i need to squidge myself into a bikini, and right now i'd prob get harpooned!!! 


I think of you girls often and hope you are all well
lots of love to you all


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## Kazza79

Hi everyone

I always look on here but haven't seen any new posts.
I'm pleased to see everyone getting on well but miss our banter lol 
I'm 37 +2 so just over 2 weeks to go 😁 , I finish work on Friday thank god as I'm really tired now.


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## jules418

Hiya Kazza

Lovely to hear from you, Gosh bet you can't wait and have as much rest time as you can before B day  wish you a smooth and as little pain as possible birth and looking forward to seeing the pics of the little munchkin  

Poppy, Lovely to hear from you too. Glad to know you are having some good quality you time and I see some fab partying time too haa haa don't blame you xxx Egypt will be amazing and I love having sun holidays when there is none here (so pretty much any time of the year haa haa) Looking forward to seeing this outfit for the wedding - you will have an amazing time. 

Sad face for not being able to make 22nd but we shall no doubt organise another one xxxx

have a wonderful day people and hope the hayfever is not affecting anyone (I am suffering) too much 

Jxxxxx


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## Bexter83

Hey lovelies 

*Jules*, so glad your spooky lady/reading went so positively! So encouraging and hope your still smiling from it . Sorry haven't spoken in a little while, how are you? Not long until your appointment now and things always happen for a reason, I'm sure the 17th July appoinment was meant to be for a reason. Oh boo&#128078; on the diet, hope you get back on the wagon and feel good for reaching your goal weight . I still have 22/08 in the diary ! *Becky*, I'll PM you and we can make a plan.

How have you been *Becky*?

*Poppy*, Sweden & Egypt! Exciting!!! So glad your feeling more you and better now and your def right, you should only start the adoption process when your 100% ready. My new job is really tough and work long hours but have been given a really good opportunity and am enjoying it, so it's all good thanks hun.

*Kirstie*, what's the latest on the house situation? How have you been?

*Tricia*, how are your lovely babies? Hope everything is ok&#128522;.

*Lottie* & *Kazza*, not long now! Wishing you all the best during the births xxx

*Hopeful*, lovely to see you on here, not long till you cycle in August.

*Chixy*, how are you?

AFM, I started the pill on Sunday and have the scratch booked in for 9th July and I start DR on 12th and then Stimming few days after that (first day AF arrives). Been looking forward to it, just wanted to get started, the wait was really annoying me! I don't feel that positive about this cycle but I felt positive about my last, so I know it doesn't mean much.
Xxxxxxx


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## tricia1012

Hello ladies  

It's been quiet on here nice to see a few posts  

Bexter - not long to go for you !!  Praying this is your time   Well have to get all our whippers back on here as I know a few of you are cycling again soon !! 

Poppy - lovely to here from you , sounds like you are doing well  your a strong lady and a true inspiration ! I'm glad you've got a great summer planned I'm jealous of your hol I used to go Egypt every summer I love the heat there  will be lovely for a winter break when were all freezing our  butts off lol 

Lottie and Kazza - hope your both coping well best of luck won't be long now  

Jules - how are you ? Not long until you cycle either ! Best of luck Hun 😘 Lottie saw a psychic before her cycle and she told her she would be pregnant  so keep positive ! 

Becky , hopeful , Kirsty , Chixy and all the other whippers  hope your all doing well . 

Afm : I miss our whippers chats lol , I pop on every now and the but it's quiet on here , will be here to support you on your cycles though  
So after a long month in  intensive care the babies are home with us now . It was terrifying the first night but I am slowly getting more confident . I still don't believe it's true I can't even bring myself to throw away my leftover ivf drugs as I feel I'm tempting fate if I do , crazy I know lol 🙈 I literally just stare at them like some creepy crazy mum lol . I wouldn't come on here to talk all babies as I know how it feels but just know from someone that has struggled for years and been through failed cycles and heartbreak that it does happen keep the PMA ladies xx

Love and babydust to all xx


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## K.Notman

Well Hello Whippers, so good to see some news to catch up on.

*Tricia*- I'm so so happy for you and to have your little ones home now is such a relief. I hope you get settled quickly and can enjoy it all. It's been such a long and difficult journey but this is what makes it all worthwhile. Big hugs

*Lottie*- I see from ** congratulations are in order for you too! Again, I'm so happy for you and wish you all the best health and happiness in your new chapter of your lives.

*Bexter*- The house sale has pretty much gone through. We've had the survey done and the solicitor is just going through all the land registry checks etc. DH is chasing them up today with a view for us to get the keys sometime in the next 3 weeks. He has his works shut down 27 July- 9th August so we are going to move then and do it at a casual rate as we don't need to be out of here until 6th Aug so it will give us time to do anything on the new place first (clean carpets etc). I hate the packing/move/unpacking but can't wait to get in there now. It's a big step up property-wise for us, (going to a 4 bed detached) but I'm really excited at the thought of having one of the rooms as a nursery (keeping everything crossed!). 
It's amazing that you have got your next cycle underway. I hope you stay relaxed as you know what's coming now. We are with you all the way so get positive!

*Jules*- How is all the research going? I know it's probably on a back-burner but it's good you are going to open days and keeping your options open. I know this will only be your second cycle so it's a case of seeing what you want to do. Everything could have been perfect next time but it wasn't meant to be so you don't want to go changing too much, after all you did get a BFP. It's great positivity that your spooky lady has filled you with confidence. It is freaky how they know stuff but there is always a part of me that is sceptical. Let's hope that this Lady has got it right.
How is the weight loss ging? The warmer weather is good for salad eating but not good for the Pimms Drinking! (that was me at the weekend!). Keep your eye on the prize and think you want that baby bump more than that burger and chips! I know it's hard, my will-power has been fluctuating over the last month but I've flicked that switch in the last fortnight and got my weight-loss chart back on the fridge and on the Weight-Watchers routines again. This stone has got to go for me to fit into my summer clothes!
The GCSE exam marking is doing my head in! It's so monotonous! I have to set myself little targets and have regular breaks as I get droopy eye-lids staring at the screen. It's been nice doing it with the patio doors wide open though. The deadlines seem harsher this year so I'm feeling under pressure but only have a week or so left.

*Kazza*- Whoo hoo, no more work! I hope you enjoy the time to relax and that the heat isn't too bad with your extra load. Keep us updated. Enjoy the time with your family making all the last minute preparations.

*Poppy*- So glad that you have got sorted for the wedding. Great having something to look forward to. And the holiday will be awesome too- I was there three years ago. It was too hot for me but I loved the pool and the sea and the air-conditioning in Hard-Rock Café! Have a really good time. I'm glad your business is doing so well and that work is ticking along. I agree with the others that Adoption can wait until your are ready and then you'll be fantastic parents and a happy family in 2016 like the rest of us (God willing).

Hopeful- How are you my lovely? I'm glad you are cycling soon too. Do you know if you are making changes to your treatment? How are you feeling about it? I hope you have the PMA going on.

*Becky*- Now that you have come to terms with your wait whilst the hospital is shut over summer- are you making the most of your freedom (Kiss concert sounded awesome!)? Taking this time to relax and enjoy yourself too is important to get you ready for September. I'm really looking forward to meeting you in August and that will be a great event to break up the time.

*Chixxy*- I bet you are winding down now for the end of term! I hope it's not too stressful and you are enjoying your free time with walking in this glorious weather. I really love our 'ladies who lunch' and trying all these wonderful places in our area. I do have to be good all week because of the wonderful food we have though- that seafood sharing platter was amazing! Sorry you can't make it to the 22nd but I'll be seeing you a few times before then anyway.

*AFM*, It's madness to think that I still haven't had my review meeting from our Failed May cycle. The consultant was not available until 27th July so I'm still waiting for that. Hopefully that will be a quick meeting to arrange the FET. I'm not chasing cancellations though with the exam marking and house move going on so it's actually all going well to cycle again when I'm ready. In the meantime, I'm getting fit and healthy. Started my 6am running again and my workout DVD's to get me in shape. I keep giving into temptation though so weight has stayed the same for 6 weeks and is a stone over this time last year. I'm taking it all in my Bob Marley stride though and enjoying life.

Take care all Whippers. Lots of love xxxxx


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## Bexter83

Morning whippers 

Huge congrats *Lottie* on the birth of your beautiful girls and am really glad your all doing well xxxxx

*Tricia*, what a lovely message and I smiled so much reading it because you've always understood how I feel (you seem to say the right things). But am truly truly happy for you and am so pleased that your beautiful babies are back home now. Your around the corner from me and Lottie isn't too far, would love love love to see you both and meet your little ones, we really must get a date in the diary.

*Kirstie*, sooooo exciting about your house and the move will be perfect timing too. Be lovely to be moving into a big house too and lots of rooms for your future babies too.....exciting! . We're still on the house hunt, viewed a place the other night but Mark is ridiculously fussy, I walk in almost anywhere and think I could live there . So our search still continues but no stress. Jeez your exam marking sounds painful! Hope you get through it soon Hun xxx well done on all the fitness stuff too  Sounds like your on the zone, I can hear the rocky theme tune already .

*Poppy*, hello love how are you? Not long till your holiday in Sweden . how have you been? I made your lentil dish last night btw xxxxx

*Kazza*, almost there now, exciting!!!

*Becky*, how are you? Cannot wait to meet you and some of the whippers, thank you for doing the invite page thing too  Kirstie, I need to text you actually, that's reminded me.

*Hopeful*, how are you Hun? Not long till you start to too xxx

*Chixy*, hope you've been ok? You've been really quiet xxx

*Jules*,    Gonna what's app you later anyway but have a fab day and hope you weren't in London yesterday on the train in that heat. I always end up having to be on the train randomly on the hottest day of the year, stuck under a smelly mans armpit!

AFM, so I started back in acupuncture again, it's a local one to my work, so I haven't been getting stressed. Also my clinic is around the corner from me now and it's evenings and sat am apps so the whole thing is a lot more convenient now and can keep it hidden from work too. Have have out the fitted tops to get away with the IVF bump and weight I get, so all under control at the mo. My needs are being delivered this Saturday and I have the scratch next Thursday and start DR next Sunday, has come around quite quickly actually.

Love to you all xxxxxx and have a wonderful day xxxx


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## BeckyA

hello whippers, hope you are all well. 

many congrats again to *lottie* and *tricia* on your bundles of joy.you must be over the moon. hope you are both settling into your roles as mummies well.

*kazza*, not long for you now, hope you are doing OK in the hot weather!

*bexster*, hope your scratch went ok today and you are feeling positive about your upcoming cycle. got everything crossed for you.

*kirstie*, great news about house sale and hope your packing up is going OK? and you are well into your fitness regime?

*hopeful*, good news for an august cycle, are you starting at the beginning or end? good luck!

*chixy*, hope you are doing well, are you cycling again soon? all the best if so. x

*poppy*, not long until your weddings abroad and some "me" time. hope your weight loss plan is going well. gutted not to meet up with you in august, but hopefully it will be the first of many whippers meet ups!

*jules*, the KISS concert was AMAZING, we were in the seats but really near the front so were singing and dancing along. are you any further along in plans for your next cycle?

really looking forward to meeting some of you in august. anyone else who wants to join the fun train, just let me know! 

AFM, well, some good news is that I will probs be cycling earlier than thought. rang the clinic mid june and they told me to call back with july period as they might get me in in August, I said but I thought you closed in august, and they said no just call. Anyway, it turns out they re-open after the summer break on 24th August, so they have said if my period comes on the 21st, I can start stimming the next day and then call them on the 24th to get in for my first scan the next day. So, I will have to cut my UK visit short as already had flight booked for 29th, so i have booked another flight for the 24th. It means though that I will have to bring over a box of menopur with me. anyone got any experience of bringing IVF meds on planes (as I am only travelling over with hand luggage)?


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## Lottie1802

Hey ladies ! Just wanted to say Thanks for the well wishes, it's been a bit manic, I ended up back in hospital for a few nights with a poorly Jessica but she is ok now, but sorry I didn't get a chance to post in here , your messages mean a lot , I genuinely couldn't of made it through this journey without each and every one of you, so Thank you all x x x x 

Becky, Kirstie, & Bexter so nice to see you are moving along with your treatments, can't wait to hear how your getting on and as always , everything is crossed for your results   I have every faith you'll get your little bundles PMA x x

Jules! How cool was the spooky lady message! It sounds so exciting, everything crossed she is right, I went to a pyschic and he was spot on , he told me there was two babies waiting to be bornto me, and he said he saw a girl...well there were two in there   

Poppy well done on the weight loss, and the wedding sounds amazing ! I hope you have lots of fun  I need hold me in underwear just to go to the shops these days   lol I'm glad to hear your feeling good   

Kazza I'm still busy stalking your ** awaiting your news! Good luck x


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## Bexter83

Hello whippers 

What a lovely message *Lottie* . How are you all doing? I love seeing your posts and pics on **. How are they doing? Are they good sleepers? Xxx

Huge congrats on the birth of your beautiful baby boy *Kazza*, hope everyone is doing well xxx

*Tricia*, how are you all doing Hun? How's it all going? Hope your little ones are keeping well. xxx

Thanks *Becky* for organising the whippers meet up, am sooooo looking forward to it, it's going to be fab! How have you been? You off for the school hols yet? Or does it not work like that in Spain? So exciting that you start cycling v soon. You'll be fine to bring your meds etc on the plane. If you have a a small coolly bag or one of those cheap supermarket ones will do, I'd prob put a few ice block, put your meds in there, zip up and put in your suitcase. I'd def recommend a doctors note to bring with you. I had one for the festival just in case.

*Kirstie*, thank you also for organising and booking the afternoon tea, hmmmm cake, nom nom&#128540;. I really hope your review goes well on Monday. Let us know if you need any help with questions to ask them. You'll be cycling v soon too . What's the latest on your house? We've viewed a few, 1 we put an offer in, went to sealed buds after but we didn't get it but was a lot of work to do (wouldn't had been able to live there for first few months, that kind of work) but we didn't get it, kinda knew anyway but didn't want to live with regret for not trying, so the search continues. Have you finished your exam marking now?

*Jules*, how you doing lovely? You next in your camper van next weekend? How's all the gyming and diet going? How's work?

*Chixy*, how are you my lovely?

*Poppy*, how are you Hun? You keeping well?

*Hopeful*, also not long until you cycle, think August will be a big month for us whippers.

AFM, day 12 of stimming, feeling absolutely fine. First scan & bloods went fine. Scan on Thursday eve showed 8 follicles on the right (couple of smaller ones, rest about the same size), 3 on the left which are a bit small but catching up. Bloods came back bit low, so upped gonalF to 450IU from last night, hopefully that will give it a boost and am back in clinic today. I'm quite pleased with the amount if follicles but am expecting similar amount if eggs retrieved etc but we'll see. Don't know when EC will be and blimming typical that I have literally the worst week next week to try and get a day off as everyone is on annual leave and my manager is keep stressing that the new guy who joined on Monday will just have me next week. My kind of luck! I don't want to raise any suspicions and was planning on taking EC and T (if I make it to that, as we have to wait 5 days now to see if they survive ). They won't let me take a day off as hol, so now as soon as I know what day EC is, I have to say hospital stuff, which was not what I wanted to do at all! Anyways, it is what it is.


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## tricia1012

Bexter - wow can't believe your 12 days into stimming already !! Really am keeping you In my thoughts that it will work for you  and it will PMA ! Great that your feeling good so far and that's a brilliant amount of follies 👍. I know its hard getting the time off work if you don't want people to know . Can you pull a sickie ?  I got a sick note from my doc just saying I had women's problems  male bosses won't question that lol there to embarrassed . Keep us updated on here and keep up the water and keep a hot water bottle on that belly get those follies nice and big  

Hi to everyone else I grabbed a minute to check on here how you were all doing  hope your all ok whippers meet up sounds great , I'd love to go but I'm lucky if I even get out of my pjs these days 🙈 little munchkins keep me busy  

Love and babydust to all of you xxx


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## K.Notman

Hello Whippers!
Good to hear that people are still on here letting us know what’s going on.  I’m really excited about our meet up.
Well it was my long awaited review with the consultant this morning (from failed May cycle!).  We went through the details of last cycle and it turns out that the embryo they put in did have a very little bit of fragmentation in the early days.  It turned into a top grade on the day they did their choosing hence that was the one that went in.  It was a 3 day transfer and we don’t know if it even made it to blast in the end.  Anyway, the 4 others made it to blast and we have 2 in the freezer.  One is a better grade than the other so they’ll defrost both and we have given the approval to put both in if the both survive the thaw.  She was very happy with my lining so we are not changing any part of that treatment.  We are however going to have the embryo glue this time and I’ll do the clexane injections the same days as the pessaries before and after transfer.  Now then- this will be my first ever experience of injections as our wonderful donors have always done the injected part of the treatment.  So I’m actually slightly pooping myself.  I’ll have all the guidance from the nurse but I’m sure I’ll be seeking support from you lot too.  Who else had Clexane?  Any tips?

Now the bad news!.... I told the consultant I’m due my next bleed 12-14th August so would be able to do the oestrogen tablets after that for the lining thickening.  She just looked at me and said “it won’t be that soon”.  I was a bit confused and questioned why and it turns out we have to book another appointment to go in and fill in consent forms and pay the invoice before anything happens.  So at reception I made the appointment and their earliest one is Thursday 1st October!!!!!!!!!!!       OMG, you could have knocked me down with a feather, my jaw was on the floor.  Why oh why wasn’t this picked up on sooner so I could have arranged all this today or at least next week?  I’m so annoyed.  I thought all of this was going to be sorted today but NO!  They said I can keep phoning them to see if I can get a cancellation.  I’m going to do this daily in the hope I get lucky  . To be held up by admin is so frustrating.  I’m angry that they never mentioned it when I made the review appointment.

I’m going to focus on the house move which should hopefully be this week.  We are pushing for completion on Friday.  There is no reason why it should be delayed as everything has gone through but we just need the final agreement of a date with the vendor.  DH is off work for 2 weeks so we should get packing done this week and have time to do some bits in the new house before we move.  We are currently in rented until 6th August so can have a gradual move which will be less stressful.  Hopefully it will help pass the time quicker and allow me to get ready for the FET and sit out this wait.  At least it means I can have a drink on the 22nd as I thought I was going to be in ‘healthy mode’ whereas now I can really enjoy myself guilt free!    

Take care everyone, especially those with little whippers.  Many congratulations again and I’m praying that this time next year we’ll all have our dreams.
Lots of love xxx


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## Bexter83

Hello lovelies, agree with Kirstie, it's so lovely that we are still keeping in touch and supporting each other, I love it!

*Tricia*, lol that made me giggle about staying in your pj's , I'd totally be the same. Mums are like that with one, let alone twinnies&#128118;&#127995;&#128118;&#127995;. Thank you so much for your support, it's EC for me tomorrow . Have had a much nicer experience so far, haven't really felt anything. We'll see what happens tomorrow . I just know that the next 5 days are going to be the most worrying with hoping I have a blast to transfer, 2 would be amazing. I'll let you know how EC goes tomorrow. And thank you for the advice about work. I was unable to take tomorrow off as annual leave but I said it's a hospital app and they didn't ask anymore, so it's fine. Bonus that a 5 day transfer works out to be next Sunday, so I don't need to try and get a day off or use more holiday .

*Kirstie*, I know we've already spoken but I am gutted that they didn't tell you this before and it's delayed it and caused you more stress and time to keep calling to see any cancellations. I cried down the phone once the other year when trying to get an earlier appointment, I was actually v angry and they weren't totally crocodile tears but the PA did put me to the top of the cancellation list and it worked. 
You'll be fine with the jabs, I do all the jabs myself and I had such a bad fear before starting first Ivf last year. I think Chixy has been on clexane and I think these arnt the nicest but you'll be fine, you'll get in the swing of it. 
Wishing you all the best with your house move, so exciting!!

Xxxxxxx


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## poppy05

Hello my beauties   


I firstly want to wish Bexter all the luck in the world for EC tomorrow    i will be thinking of you sweetheart, praying for a good amount, and that you get some gorgeous blasts   


Oh Kirstie hunni, how disappointing for you, the lack of communication can be so frigging frustrating, im sorry you wont get to do your fet just yet, but just remember everything happens for a reason, enjoy your new home, and Oct will soon be here   


Tricia how are your little darlings doing?   


Lottie i loved your little vid you put on ** today, both their little arms and legs giving it some!!!   


kazza hope little man is dong  well hunni   


BeckyA, chixy, hopeful, jules, and anyone ive missed, i hope you girls are all ok   


AFM, I have a little bit of news! i took the plunge today and called the adoption agency, and we are booked in for an information evening on 7th Oct!!!!!!! im really excited, i cant wait to find out more and set the ball rolling.


Thats pretty much all my news, sending you all love, and im still gutted i cant make the meet up xxxxxxxx


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## Bexter83

Hi whippers,

Just waiting to be able to leave the hospital, get this darn thing out of my hand. Anyways, feeling a bit crappy with the result  and like I said to Poppy, am feeling a bit over it all tbh. There's not a protocol I respond well too and just can't be bothered with it all now. I got 5 eggs from 11 follicles, so like my previous cycles, everything seems to be halved, so no surprise tomorrow to find out if half of them are immature. So knowing have to wait for a 5 day transfer, not feeling hopeful really.


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## K.Notman

Poppy- That's great news!  How exciting!  I bet there is so much to take on board so an information evening is a great start and something to look forward to.

Bexter- Just messaged you- it's all about the quality sweetheart.  Sending lots of PMA to your eggies in the 'lab of love' tonight- jamming to Barry White!  Good quality Blasts here we come!

Today's phone call to check cancellations =  Nope.  But will try again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day and the next .....


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## K.Notman

Whoo hoo!  We managed to get a cancellation!  Consent signing is now on Monday 3rd August.  Will have to pay the bill then but we have the money ready.  Hopefully will know dates then as to when to match my natural cycle with the  lining thinking oestrogen procedure.  This worked well before so will do the same again this time.


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## BeckyA

great news *kirstie*, perserverance does pay! 

*bexster*, hope you've had some good news re: fertilisation. sending positive thoughts your way. 

*poppy*, exciting news about info evening on adoption, the road to being a mummy is a long one but you will get there in the end. when are you off on hols/wedding break? hope you have a super time!!

hope all the other whippers are doing ok, great to be in touch on **, and can't wait to meet some of you in person in a few weeks!!

AFM, last day in the school tomorrow before whole of August off! WOOOO! Also, AF showed up yesterday so am hopefully on track to start stimming with next cycle at end of August. In the end I have paid extra to put a suitcase in when coming over to the UK and I will stick the menopur in there in a little cool bag (thanks for the tip bexster)


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## Bexter83

Hi ladies,

*Kirstie*, know we've spoken already but exciting stuff tomorrow! Bet you cannot wait to get the keys to the house. Brilliant news on the cancellation also, hopefully you'll start v soon now. Xxx

*Poppy*, please do keep in touch with any news on you get on your road to adopting. There is this just brilliant and lovely guy at my work and something v random we were talking about and he said he was adopted and he has a brother who is also adopted and maybe it's knowing what this journey feels like and could be a route Mark and I could go down also, I just felt like he was extra awesome. I think it's a wonderful thing tbh and I'm looking forward to some good news on your progress.

*Becky*, yay to your school holidays starting in less than 24 hours time . Really looking forward to meeting some of you in a few weeks too, will be lovely. Great that now AFgas arrived you can time exactly when your cycle starts, as it's always useful to plan around etc (as we all know).

AFM, I know I've already been in contact with some of you and thank you for your kind words and support. So 4 out of the 5 eggs were immature and only have fertilised embryo. I had such a sad day yesterday, crying in the work toilets, reality hitting me that I really may not have my own child but then thinking maybe I could turn this desire off, which I really think I could, and just move on and feel whole again. I've become distant with my sister because I'm so jealous that she can conceive naturally and this is so wrong but I feel like because we're family how can this happen? I know it sounds nuts. So anyways, I will get a call tomorrow to let me know the progress of this little one (day 3) but we have to try and see if it makes it to blast. I know it only takes one, I completely get that but there is not a drug or protocol which I respond well too and all 3 fresh cycles have only given me 1 or 2 embryos now. I wish I had tried to take the other cycles to blast now, so I could know if they ever get to that stage or not?

Xxxxx


----------



## BeckyA

*bexster*, sorry that you are going through all this, thinking about you and hoping you have had some good news re your one embryo and it's a strong one. Big hugs. Xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Hi Guys,

Just checking in - been ridiculously busy and its mental.

Bexster - just seen your signature - massive hugs hun, I am thinking of you, stay strong x

Poppy - exciting times ahead for you - hope all goes well and wishing you all the best.

Kirstie - how lucky were you with the cancellation!? Wow, exciting times ahead! Wishing you all the best

Becky - Hope you are keeping well and not long until you start the rollercoaster again.

Tricia and Lottie - Hope mummyhood is eveything you ever dreamed of, congrats again, make sure you enjoy every moment

Hope I haven't forgot any one - my phone only shows so much!

AFM - I began my cycle on Friday and am currently down-regging with buserilin To the ladies who have had multiple cycles or a cycle after miscarriage - did you feel worse with each cycle? I really feel like this cycle is kicking my butt more than last time, feel nauseous etc. If all goes to plan i should have EC on 27/08/2015 - DH and I have had a rough year so far with a lot of things going wrong for us, luckily we are stronger than ever as a couple but we certainly keep getting knocked back down by diff things so I am hoping this will be our one bit of good luck - who knows?

I will try and be a better whipper and log on more!

Keep well and strong ladies! We are practically superheroes at this point!!! xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Morning whipper snappers xxxx

How are we all?

*Hopeful*, you have been through a really rough time but I'm so pleased you've plucked up the courage to go again. How are you getting on now? Not too far away until EC. I think the emotions vary each cycle with different people. I found each time I was fine and stronger with the actual process, didn't bother me I e bit and became a bit hardened to things but the reality of it never working became stronger, but that's just me.

Had my review on Monday night and my Consultant is talking to Sam Abdullah to get a more thorough detail on the quality of the eggs on all cycles, as one they get is less detailed but looking at the egg quality details he has and the amount I get he feels I'll be wasting my emotions/time and money to continue on normal IVF as I've tried all protocols and drugs and been on highest doses. I liked his honesty tbh. He's asking Abdullah about his thoughts on IVM (egg maturation outside of the body) and low stimming, which is risky as May not collect any eggs. I'll be going back to see him after he gets answers from Sam Abdullah but other than the tests I've already had, there's no other tests to see why I can't get many eggs and mature ones and why of bad quality. Quality cannot be controlled by me either. So my head has been everywhere really. Good news is that our offer has been accepted on a house and fingers crossed all goes through but finally we've found a house!

Becky, Julie & kirstie, cannot wait to see you in less than 2 weeks . J & K, we'll get all the finer details sorted by this weekend.

Love to all xxxxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Hey beauts   


I just nipped in to say a massive happy anniversary to us!!! we have officially been the 'walnut whippers' for a year!!


Our Jules was the very first poster on the thread on the 12/08/14   
we have all been through so much together, and i even though many of us didnt get the outcome we deserve, i for one am so happy to have shared my experience with all you girls. 


Big hugs to everyone


----------



## K.Notman

Whooo!  Happy Anniversary to us and    to Jules for being the first to get the ball rolling!  Wow, the things that go on over a year.  I too am honoured to have known you guys and thank you form the bottom of my heart for the help, support and entertainment to get me through this first year of my journey.  I'm particularly grateful for meeting Jules & Chixy and our monthly lunch meet ups are the highlight of my dining calendar! This weekend has also been a long time coming.

Hopeful- how is your tx going?  Sorry to hear you have been finding it harder each time and to hear that you've had a tough time this year.  Just break things down into manageable tasks and take it one thing at a time.  Remember, this is your time to be calm and chilled Bob Marley style!  I'm praying that this is your turn.  

Poppy- I'm so happy for you considering your next stage in making a family and that you are approaching it at a time when you are ready and positive. Please keep us filled in as we are with you all the way.

Hello everyone else.  You are always in my thoughts.  Please keep posting to let us know how you are getting on.

AFM, We are in our new house now whoop!  BUT no internet as the previous occupant didn't pay their bill so the provider wont release the line to BT for us to continue our contract with Sky. It's so frustrating as we have loads of things we don't need any more and want to sell on line.  I'm doing what I can at work but we are pushing to get it sorted asap even though they tell us it will be another week. 

So, I had my bleed last week and now on my last month of my HRT before I start cycling again.  I could have gone straight away but wanted a month to get settled into the house and get chilled and healthy.  So I'm booked in for scan on 10th September to check think lining and that all is well down there. Then it's the 2 weeks of high estrogen and scans to check lining growth.  I'll have the Clexane this time which will be my first ever injection (as my donor have always done all the injecting!) and I'm a little anxious until I've got one done. I managed a good lining last time so as long as I keep things the same, I should be ok.  Will be doing the acupuncture again too.  Anyway, I will of course keep you posted and will need your fairy dust to hope our little freezer babies survive the thaw.  

Lots of love x


----------



## hopeful1985

Sorry guys just needed to vent... just found out that cousin no 6 is pregnant!! Thats right.... i have 6 cousins who are pregnant right now FML!!!!!!  Ahhhhhhhhhh... of course i smile and congratulate and i am happy for them but ahhhhh  i hate this!!!!


----------



## poppy05

Ah hopeful, sending you big hugs darling    its a horrible feeling cos i know you dont want to feel like it, but when you want something so badly and it appears everyone is getting it except you, it feels bloody horrible, come here and vent anytime, we all understand, and i really do hope that you will be the lucky number 7 cousin   


Not long now kirsty, glad the move went well, keep us posted with your scan updates   


sending love to you all xxxx


----------



## K.Notman

Oh no Hopeful! Vent away as we feel your frustration.  There is a baby boom happening around me at the moment so I completely understand.  We have to put on a face and take it in our stride but inside we are hurting.  Keep us updated on your tx.  Good luck xxx


----------



## BeckyA

Big hugs *Hopeful*, these things are sent to try us!! I always try to think that "it's not their baby i want, it's mine!" And that seems to help. How are you getting on? Have you starting stimms yet?

*kirstie*, glad house move went well and i think very good idea to wait a month before your fet for everything to settle. It is just round the corner, how exciting. I am really looking forward to our whippers day out in London on saturday along with *bexster* and *jules*! 
Note to anyone else, if you fancy it last minute of course you are welcome, let us know!!

*poppy*, yay for us! Your friends wedding looked lovely and i hope you had a good time. Sorry not to see you on Saturday but there will always be a next time! Keep us updated on your adoption journey.

AFM, enjoying my short break back in the homeland, lovely to catch up with family and friends. Clinic also rang this week to check on date of last AF and confirm we should be starting with stimms next week. Last go!!


----------



## Chixy

Hello my lovely Walnut Whippers,

Long time since I have had time to finally sit down and write to you all. Just because I don't appear to write as much as I would like to I am always here and thinking about you all.

I am shocked to read that we have all been chatting on here now for a year - where does the time go - and yet i feel no further forward in my journey of becoming a mother? strange.

I was so excited some of managed to meet up last weekend - you all look like you  had a great time and I am gutted I missed it. I had just returned from France. We had a lovely holiday and cannot believe how fast it all seems to have gone. We stayed with my beautiful French friend, shockingly we have now known each other for 23 years. We were lucky enough to go on an exchange with school and I was matched with lovely Cécile. Unfortunately during our second week my DH fell ill and my dear mother too. My mother has since had to visit her GP when we returned - a virus they reckon!!! Please to say that my DH seems to be much better and a visit to the GP for him was not necessary. I too suffered a little with the same symptoms but no where near as bad as DH and my mother. My question to you lovely ladies is should I be a little worried because on the 9th August i started DR AGAIN!!! I am praying this illness will not affect our cycle. 

I have been down regulating for 17 days now and i must admit that this one has got to be the worst for the hot sweats and the awful headaches. I feel lousy most days - boo. I am booked in for my scan on Friday 28th August - week. I was hoping to have had EC (if we get that far) before I have to return to work but unfortunately this is looking very unlikely. This means I am in a dilemma where i am going to have to tell my boss. I have not been at my new job for a year yet so obviously I am little apprehensive as to what they will say. However if push come to shove I will have to just have to take days off with no pay? Lets hope it doesn't come to that though? 

As you know my lovelies this is my 5th attempt - i thought if money allowed I would keep going with IVF until i finally was successful but I have to say that I am really feeling it this time and now know that this is our last chance. I am scared that if again - we are unsuccessful - i really don't know where to turn. In the mean time I cannot face thinking about that and need to be positive and stay focused with this cycle. 

Hopeful  -I feel your pain as like you I am surrounding by friend, cousins and family members that are pregnant - it is too much to bear. Keep focused on you and look forward to hearing how you get on with your next cycle.

Kirstie - exciting times with moving into your new house - looking forward to the house warming party. you are very brave accepting clexane injections - i recommend putting frozen peas on the area you plan to inject a few minutes before. I know you will be fine though.

Love to you all and thank you for always being there for me my beautiful ladies.

Big hugs

Chixy


----------



## BeckyA

Hola Whippers!

*chixy*, sorry to have missed you as well at the AWM (Annual Whippers Meeting!). We had a super day and it was so lovely to put names to faces. Wishing you all the best with your current treatment. I cant answer your question about DR and illness as I don't DR on my cycles. You should be fine though. i had a stinking cold last cycle and it all went ahead.

*hopeful*, hope you are doing ok on your current cycle? Do let us know how you are getting on.

AFM, been to clinic today for baseline (5 and 6 follies) and officially on 4th try!! Start jabs tonight and next scan on Monday. Keep your fingers crossed for me ladies!! Xx


----------



## hopeful1985

Hey ladies..  this cycle, my 3rd, is definately the worse one for me. Definately more draining, i feel ur pain! Please good i have enough to freeze so wont be so harsh if i do it again.

I am actually on my injection free day today, egg collection tomorrow. Scan yesterday showed 11 good size follickes and a few smaller ones that may catch up. Biggest haul yet so fingers crossed. I am on the maximum dosage of everything this time round. We are throwing everything at it.

I will def let u know tomorrow how it goes.

I am soo sorry i have been so distant. The truth is i am struggling and trying to block it out. The horrible thing is i want to have a baby more than anything but i am so petrified of being pregnant after the extreme sickness last time. I spent 2 weeks sleeping in the bathroom which continued even after miscarriage until ERPC. I am scared it will happen again and the OHSS is looking like it may rear its ugly head again as my hormone levels are very high at last blood test.

Kristie i am glad the house move went well. Whats ur timeline for next cycle? 

Chixy i am soory this cycle is so tough for u hun. Hold on tight u r nearly through. Keep strong lovely.

Poppy how are u lovely? Any progress on the adoption front?

Hope everyone is doing well.

Sorry i am so disconnected, i have kinda isolated myself on here and in life tbh. I do think about u all though and will make the effort more to keep in touch  xxxxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

I got 7 eggs x


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## BeckyA

Great news *hopeful*. Lets hope they get jiggy tonight!


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## poppy05

Brilliant hopeful, sending loads of positive vibes and good luck for 'the call' in the morning        


Thinking of you chixy, sorry you are feeling rubbish this time, its horrible    praying this is your time sweetheart      


Hello to the rest of you lovely ladies xxxx


----------



## Chixy

Thank you lovely Walnut Whippers for all your great support and comments.

*Hopeful* you are doing so well, great news on the 7 eggs. I hope you get the call soon to know how many beautiful embryos you have now got. Get everything crossed honey. 
I understand totally you keeping your distance - sometimes it is easier to lock yourself away from the world but also to escape everything IVF and baby related. Naturally you will feel apprehensive and scared, especially after past experiences. The thought of going through such pain again is unbearable but also facing the unknown is a very worrying and scary prospect. Keep us posted with everything honey and remember we're here for you when ever you need us.

AFM - I had my DR scan yesterday. I am pleased to say that we are on track and I started my stims injections last night. I am booked in for my next scan on Friday. Let's hope the follies develop beautifully. I must admit I am a little worried because we are now cycling with a different clinic - they have told me to use 4 powders (300 iui) but at my old clinic they put me on the highest dose of 6 powders. I think that next scan they will increase my dose and this will mean another long journey to the clinic to return for second scan on the follies. But hey if this works this time then who am I to complain. 
I was hoping to have completed this cycle before returning to work but this is definitely not going to happen this time. It means I have unfortunately had to arrange a meeting with my bis to tell her. This I was really hoping to avoid but no such luck &#128532; 
 She is understanding and supportive.

Hello to Kirstie, Julie, Poppy, Beckie, Bexter, Tricia and all you other gorgeous Walnut Whippers.

  To you all

Chixy xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Thanks for you kind words ladies. Chixy good luck with the stimms. I wouldnt worry too much about the diff meds.. diff clinics do it diff ways. As long as they continue monitoring u it will all be fine. 

Results were 7 eggs, 6 mature enough for ICSI, 5 fertilised. Basically same as last time except last time 6 of the 7 fertilised. Just waiting for a call tomorro to say whether to go in for a 3 day transfer or wait until tuesday for a 5 day transfer. Hopefully they can freeze some this cycle and i dont have cell abnormalities again.

I had ec had a clinic rather than my usual place this time round and its supposed to be one of the best in country etc but omg and i battered. Never felt even 10% of this pain the last time. Please god it will pass soon. 

How is everyone else getting on? Xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Hi whippers ! 
Sorry I've not been on much I need to have good read through and catch up on how your all getting on  I know a few of you are due to cycle again and just want you to know I'm thinking of you all and truly hope this is your time I'll be keeping everything crossed for you xx


----------



## tricia1012

Hopeful how did you get on ? Keep strong my only successful cycle was the worst for me I was so I'll throughout and got the dreaded ohss so just hang in there Hun x


----------



## Chixy

Hey Hopeful, 

Great news with your 5 fertilised embryos. What was the news with your transfer? Hope you are doing well. Sorry for the delay in responding. We have had family friends staying for the bank holiday weekend so been busy entertaining. 

Thinking of you and sending you lots of   Vibes.

Hope the rest of the lovely Walnut Whippers are good and had a lovely bank holiday.

Hugs to you all Chixy xx


----------



## hopeful1985

Well i was admitted to hospital saturday in agony with my lower abdomen. Fever vomitting diarohhea violent cramps etc. Still here now on IV fluids and antibiotics. I was sooo upset as clinic was due to ring sunday morning about ET and whether it was a 3dt and i had to go in yest or 5dt snd i go in tomorro. Was upset all sat night as hosp said i was staying till at least tues morning and i was so sure that my embies would not go to blastocyst as they havent before....anyway god must be smiling at me cos clinic said out of the 5 embies 2 are average quality and 3 look great for blastocyst! Couldnt believe it! So have agreed with hospital i would stay on IV meds and stay till tues morning then go down to their fertility dept ( where i get my treatment) for scan as levels do.suggest ohss but been un too much pain to check before due to infection. Then if they r happy i go to harley street clinic for 2pm and collect my 2 embies  honestly... i thought it was game over... please god they r happy with me tomorrow and let me go x


----------



## tricia1012

Oh hopeful I hope your ok Hun   I remember how bad it was when I had ohss I was admitted to hosp aswell  it does get better though !! Great news on your embies going to blast that's amazing best of luck for transfer x


----------



## BeckyA

Big hugs *hopeful*!  Sorry you have been so ill again. fingers crossed you get good news tomorrow.

*chixy*, how are you getting on with stimms?

AFM (if you are interested!), day 6 of stimms today and was scanned. Pretty good, 7 or 8 follies on left ovary ranging from 14mm down. Lazy right ovary not really responding, just 3 follies at 11 and below. Lining 8.2. (Never sure if this is good or not!) started on cetrotide today and back on Thurs for another scan.

Hope all you lovely whippers are doing well!!

Xxx


----------



## Chixy

Oh my goodness Hopeful - I hope you are feeling much better and that your scan went well today. So any embryos with you now - I really hope so. Got everything crossed for you honey, take big care    Xx

Becky- good news on your follicles - I have my scan on Friday - hoping I've responded well like you. So have you got to continue stemming for a bit longer?   All going well for you honey xx


----------



## hopeful1985

Hey Becky. How did ur scan go?

Pleased to say i am finally home after 3 days in hospital. Very sore and tired but happy to say i have 2 blastos on board! 

Find out tomorro whether the 3rd one froze ok.

So exhausted. Night all xx


----------



## Bexter83

Hi ladies, hope you're all well xxx

Congrats on being PUPO *Hopeful* , great you have 2 blasts on board and I hope you have good news on the 3rd to freeze also. Do you have much planned over the 2 we to keep you occupied? Xxx

Hey Becky , good number of follies you have there and still lots of time for growth of them and for that lining to thicken more, so don't worry xxx you been ok though?

Hi Chixy, hope you have been ok xxx. Hope you your app on Friday goes well (I'm sure it will ).

Hello to everyone.

Lots of love


----------



## BeckyA

whippers! Hope we are all doing well?

*bextser* hun, hope you are hood. Thanks for asking after me. Had day 9 stimms scan today and it is all systems go for EC on Monday. Got 3 lead follies @20.5/19/17 on left ovary. Biggest on right is 15 I think (bit difficult trying to remember all the numbers when your legs are up in the stirrups!!). Lining up to 9.

*chixy*, hope you are getting on with stimms etc hun. GL for scan tomorrow.

*hopeful*, have your ohss symptoms subsided. Sending you all the best. Excellent news to have 2 blastos on board, you couldn't ask for more!

 to everyone else!


----------



## Chixy

Hello beautiful ladies,

Yepee - Hopeful on being PUPO!!! Wishing all well for frosties too.

Becky- sounding very good with your stimming - will be thinking of you on Monday for EC. Thank you for your kind wishes for tomorrow. 

Bexter - how are you lovely? Any news from Lister yet ? 

Hello to all you other lovely Walnut Whippers 

Love and hugs  

Chixy


----------



## Bexter83

Morning lovelies xxx

How are we all?

*Chixy*, hope your today's scan goes well, I'm sure it will xxx thinking of you, let us know how you get on. Still not heard anything from the lister but have really been enjoying the break, am happy to feel normal again now, no bloat and for the first time I'm having a real coffee most work mornings and am drinking a fair amount of wine too, but work has been emotionally tough (been quite sensitive and insecure) and stuff with the house, it has felt quite stressful, so a glass of wine makes things feel lots better, lol.

*Becky*, omg EC on Monday!! Wow! Amazing amount of follies you gave also, that's brilliant. How have you been feeling this cycle? Btw, my bracelet has been on eve since Xxx

*Hopeful*, how are you doing Hun? Are you starting to feel better now? Xxx

How is everyone doing? Miss my whipper snappers 

Lots of love to everyone and happy Friday xxxxx


----------



## Chixy

Hello Walnut Whippers,

What an early start for me this morning - up at 5am. An hour and a half later I arrived at the clinic in time for a hot chocolate before my scan. So to keep you all updated I have follicles ranging in size from 15, 12 and smaller. My lining is 7.5 so all in all they are pleased with how things are looking at moment. I am to continue stimming and I'm booked in for another scan on Monday. Not ideal because this is the day I am supposed to return to work after the summer holidays - oops - but what is one to do?? This element is stressful for me because I am unable to get hold of my boss to let her know about the appointment - grr. 

Becky - egg collection for you on Monday - yikes. I am sure you will be absolutely fine. Are you on short protocol? It seems to have come round so fast.

Bexter - I think it is good for you (well all of us) to have a break from all that is IVF - it is all so intense. Sorry to hear that work has been emotionally tough Hun. Wine sounds like a go is plan to me. And with the house - are you still trying to find your new home? It is so hard to find your dream home. Keep having a wine or two and try and find some release - walking, going out with DH or with friends. Sending you big  

Love and hugs to all you other lovelies out there


----------



## Bexter83

Hello ladies xxx

*Becky*, wishing you all the best at EC tomorrow. I'll be doing the gorgeous eggie dance for you tonight. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

*Chixy*, how are you Hun? Hot chocolate  Yum! Glad the clinic are pleased with how you're doing too . Did you manage to get hold of your boss? 
Thank you for your words and advice too . We found a house, few bits (hurdles- as kirstie liked to put it, hehe) were a bit un nerving but we think it's going ok now and if all goes to plan, we should be in in mid October. Haven't heard anything from the clinic yet but not to stress, I wouldn't plan anything/treatment until we've moved and for me to be a bit more established in my role at work, so there's less stress going on.

*Hopeful*, how are you keeping?

How is everyone doing?

Xxxxxx


----------



## BeckyA

Hello ladies, just a quickie as gonna go back to bed now. Just got home fromEC and got 7 eggs. Happy with that. If all goes to plan, transfer on Thursday! Xx


----------



## Chixy

Great result with your EC Becky - well done Hun. Rest up lovely and take care of yourself xx


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## hopeful1985

Well done Becky! Fab number. Xx


----------



## Bexter83

Great number Becky . I reckon they'll be lots of jiggy jiggy   in the lab tonight! Rest up Hun. Xxx

Hope you're all keeping well xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Well done Becky  hope your getting loads of rest tonight ! And those eggs are getting busy  x


----------



## jules418

Well hello whippers.

Firstly let me start of with a huge apology for being awol for like forever. I want getting any notifications and didn't check the site stupid Julie!!!!!!  

Now secondly....  Wow alot has been happening on here over the last couple of months. 

Hopeful,  huge congrats on your two embies,  how are you feeling now and how is your ohss? 

BeckyA,  fab news on 7 Eggs I have been doing my jiggy dance around the office for you all day,  luckily they know I am crazy ha ha (that didn't take long for them to pick up on).  Hope you had a lovely restful day xxx 

Poppy, wonderful to hear you have got an open evening to attend looking forward to hearing all about it.  

Bexter, always lovely to hear from you xx always got some hugs for you babe 

Kirstie, how are things with you? Hope you are settling into the new house ok. Xxx

Chixy, glad the scan are going well and looking forward to hearing how you get on next xxx

Tricia, lottie, kazza, love seeing your little bundles pictures on **,  some super cute kiddies there xxxx hope you are adapting ok.  

Afm,  well it had been a weird few weeks to be honest.  Way back in June you may remember I went to see a psychic lady. Well one of the things she said was that we would buy a new car and travel more.  Well we bought a camper van.  LOVE ITTTTTTTT,  picked it up early July and have been away a few times.  The other thing she said was that I would have a baby, she was seeing July August. Well I scoffed,  not staying treatment till Sept however I did go to an open evening in July and booked in with the consultant in August...... Aha!!!!!! But no....... We found out I was expecting on 2nd August.......and I am now 10weeks gone. To say it was a shock is a huge understatement and the panic set in and if I am honest guilt at it happening naturally. We booked in for a private 7wk scan as was convinced I would MC again but so far so good and saw a wee blob on the screen and a heart beat. It still hasn't sunk in to be honest.

So I am sending you all my prayers and baby dust magic 

Lots of love and bum wiggles
   
Jules xxxxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

OMG Jules thats amazing!!! Huge congratulations!!!!


----------



## poppy05

Goodness me i cant leave you lot alone for 5 minutes can i!!! embryos, egg collections, and omg a blimming pregnancy!!!!   


Wow im chuffed to bits for you jules, i know you told me via text, but its official now! so happy for you darling   


hopeful, how are you doing lovely girl? i do hope the ohss isnt too bad, when is otd?   


BeckyA yay so pleased ec went well, sending jiggy vibes to your lovely 7 eggs, good luck for the call to orrow sweetheart   


chixy how did your scan go today babes? hope everything is on track for ec this week   


kirstie whats happening with you beautiful? hows the house?   


Bexter how you doing my lovely? any updates on investigations? did you contact the other clinic?   


lottie, tricia, kazza, hows our baby whippers all doing? as jules said, i love seeing pics on **, those bubbas are growing fast!   


AFM, not alot going on with me, i have another wedding this coming sat, i popped out to buy some shoes today and ended up spending nearly £300 on a whole new outfit!!!    i did try to recycle a dress i already had, but i just couldnt find any shoes i liked to match! i then found a new dress and of course i had to have new shoes, bag and fascinator!!! poor dw she will never be rich being married to me! haha
Ooh and im pleased to say i have now lost 17lb on slimming world!! chuffed to bits, and people have started asking me if ive lost weight, so it feels worth the hard work now, long way to go but i have now lost all my tx weight plus a bit more!




Lots of love to you all
poppy xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Jules  OMG !!! This is amazing news I'm so happy for you ! How perfect for it to happen naturally you must be over the moon , can't wait to see scan pics keep us updated Hun xx

Poppy !! I've missed you - well done on the weight loss I've seen pics on ** your looking fab  enjoy your wedding this weekend xx


----------



## K.Notman

Good Morning!
Oh my goodness, what a lot has happened.  My new house is wonderful with the one exception- we STILL don’t have internet!  We are in a contract with SKY and they have messed us about with the transfer of contract and keep promising it’ll be sorted by the end of the week but here we are 5 weeks later!  At work, I’ve been running the company again whilst Mum & Dad went on holiday so it’s be all go go go and getting online has been last of the priorities.  A quick log-on the forum this morning made me realise how long it’s been and how much I’ve deserted you!

Tricia, how are you my lovely?  It’s great to see your ** posts and to see you settling into routines and being a new Mummy. 

Poppy, Fantastic news on the weight-loss, why not celebrate with new clothes!   Whatever makes you happy sweetheart.  I’m looking forward to hearing all your feedback from the adoption open evening.

Jules, I know we’ve spoken but I really am so chuffed for you.  As much as this is ‘not out of the woods yet’ as our anxieties will stay with us longer than most pregnant women but I hope you are finding time to be calm and joyous with your wonderful news, grinning from ear to ear.  There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty, you both really deserve this and I wish you all the happiness in the world.    

BeckyA- Congratulations on EC yesterday and I hope those eggies have been enjoying the lab of love with Barry White. I hope you get good news from the clinic call for ET- have they waited until blast before for a 5 day transfer?  Rest up now, enjoy a cheeky wine and get plenty of sleep.  Don’t forget the handful of brazil nuts and the hot water bottle on your tummy to keep that lining nice and fluffy- think winter tog quilt! 

Bexter, I’m keeping things crossed for your house surveys so that the paperwork keeps moving quickly and you can be getting the keys to your future!   I hope you have started some packing  as we left it all to last minute and made ourselves very busy!

Chixy, It was lovely bumping into you at acupuncture last night!  I’m glad all systems are go with you at the CARE clinic.  Your follies are growing well between scans and it will soon be EC so we are all thinking lots of eggie thoughts for you. 

Hopeful, I’m so sorry to have deserted you when you were going through crucial treatment.  I’m glad you are out of hospital now- how are you feeling?  2 Blasts on board and PUPO is fantastic, congratulations.  Now to be calm, rested and looking after that tummy.  Lots of Bab Marley- get “jammin’ mon!”.  When is OTD?  Don’t let the 2ww drive you crazy and I hope we don’t have to send the pee-stick police round   !  All in good time but don’t go symptom spotting.  Take care and sleep well   xxx


So AFM, Firstly I must say how much I enjoyed out Whippers London meet-up.  Such a wonderful day and fantastic company, you girls are amazing.  I loved Poppy’s message and surprise parcel and Becky’s thoughtful gift too was really lovely.  Bexter was a star for putting Jules and I up and letting me stop up into the wee hours drinking wine (and doing self-defence moves LMAO!) not to mention scrummy breakfast.  Thank you xxx 

Well I love love love our new home.  We got a bargain and it’s going to be our home for life.  I can see some amazing Christmases in it and family BBQs etc.  We’ve had a lot of jobs to do to get settled in but luckily the house is in very good condition so we’ve been able to make it homey straight away.  We’ve treated ourselves to a nice dining furniture set from ‘Oak Furniture Land’ so I can’t wait to host some diner parties now (although our cooker hob is rubbish!). We have a big housewarming party this Saturday so have a bit to do to make sure people are able to stop over and we have gazebos so we can hopefully still have a BBQ.  We boarded part of the loft this weekend so we can clear things away and have put up a new shed and shelves etc so we have lots of storage to put our many things. Then I can sit back on the sofa and relax!

So now that the move is out of the way and we are nicely settled, the fertility treatment is ideally timed. I’ve been on the normal HRT for a few months now and having finally sorted the consent signing for the FET, I have my scan this Thursday to check that all is healthy, the lining is thin and we are ready to go.  Having no ovaries means I don’t need to DR, I just stop taking the tablets and then start the huge dose of 24mg oestrogen a day (12 tablets) to get that lining thick and squishy!  So I’ve done a couple of weeks acupuncture which worked really well before for improving blood flow and circulation to get the lining thickness right for transfer. So I’ll probably have another scan at the end of next week and the week after to get a date for FET at the end of the month.  As we have 2 good blasts in the freezer (although one is weaker than the other so we don’t know if it will survive the thaw), we’ll just have to wait for the confirmation call on the day of FET to make sure the thaw was successful and in they go!  It feels great to be cycling so close to other Whippers again- especially my home girl Chixy!  I am going to have the embryo glue this time and I’ve been told to try the Clexane injections from 3 days before transfer (when I start the pessaries).  I’m a little anxious about doing my first injection but I know it’s nothing compared to what you ladies have been through and it’s all for a good cause! Has anyone else done Clexane who can give me some pointers (I’ll have a nurse training session on scan day)?

Love and baby dust to everyone.  I’ll be checking in daily now to make sure I don’t miss anything!


----------



## tricia1012

Kirstie - hi Hun great news on your new home  congrats enjoy all those housewarming party's !! Were looking for a new home aswell as we need more space I'm dreading the thought of moving but I love decorating so excited for that . It's great you've settled in quick and things are progressing well with your fet , praying this is your time ! 
I had the clexane injections a few times the actual needle is tiny and you barely feel it mine were in a pre filled syringe so no messing around with measuring it out . I think they all come like that for this med . The only thing I will warm you is it does sting quite bad but it really doesn't last long so don't worry  xx

Lovely to see some activity on here again , I miss our chats . I don't get to do much but when I'm feeding bubbas is my time to pop online so I'll be keeping an eye on how your all getting on ! Best of luck to everyone cycling at the mo ! 

Love and babydust as always xx


----------



## K.Notman

Wednesday 9th- BBC Radio 2 Jeremy Vine show is having a big discussion on fertility treatment.  You might be able to get it on catch-up iPlayer.


----------



## K.Notman

Good luck Chixy with EC today.  Looking forward to hearing a good egg count!  Then its relax and chill-out for the rest of the day xxxxxx


----------



## BeckyA

Morning ladies, just got back from hospital and i am PUPO with 3 embies! Only 3 of the 7 had fertilised so they put them all back. They were an A, B and a C (A being the best). Transfer a bit difficult as usual but once they got the catheter up there no probs! OTD is the 24th (my clinic do 2 weeks from ET), I have a beta blood. The only thing is I may be away on holiday that week, so may move to Mon 28th, clinic said ok with that.

*jules*, i've already said it, but so many congrats on your pregnancy, i am so pleased for you!! Xx

*kirstie*, that was a mamooth post!!  i too loved our Whippers meet up and we must make it an annual event!  So pleased you are happy in your new home, that is what life is all about. And remember the adage "new home, new baby!" Got everything crossed for your FET.

*tricia*, i miss our chat room chats as well! Hope your bubbas are doing well and growing as they should!

*poppy*, well done you on the slimming front, and you well deserve that new outfit! Have a lovely wedding.

*chixy*, good luck for EC! Fingers crossed you get a bumper crop. X

*hopeful*, how are you doing? Good i hope.

*bexster*, thanks for your words of encouragement and your eggy dance! Hope you are ok. X

Anyone else, lottie, kazza, etc. hope you are all good.


----------



## Bexter83

Hello Whippers xxx

Congrats on being PUPO *Becky*  Brilliant news Hun . I hope you enjoy your holiday and is a nice and chilled distraction towards the latter end of the 2ww.

*Chixy*, was it EC today?? So sorry, I didn't know. Hope it went well and you're feeling fine .

*Jules*, know we've already spoken but am super happy for you and hope you're feeling ok at the moment and the sickness you have been experiencing goes away very soon.

*Poppy*, well done Hun! That is amazing, you must be looking gorgeous and feeling fab! What a shopping spree  But a well deserved one, you go girl!! Have a great time at your friends wedding.

*Kirstie*, love love loved your post! We had such a fab time in london and thanks for teaching me your karate moves, although I do t think I remember any of them and would probably just hurt myself . I cannot wait til the Christmas Whippers meet up at the Birmingham Christmas Market (must get a date for the diary). So happy that your house is coming together and get to enjoy some nice gatherings/BBQ's etc there it's your friends and family. I cannot wait for this also, to be able to host something which involved more than 4 people, lol. Sounds like it's all systems go for you and you've timed your cycle perfectly. I know it's hard not to buyt try not to worry about the jabs, you'll get used to them and be fine, I know it!

*Tricia*, hope you and the babes are doing fine . Are you looking for a place in the same area? Cannot believe we live closely and we still haven't met up yet . I'd love to see lottie again and meet all your gorgeous babies, hopefully we can plan something .

*Hopeful*, how are you doing Hun? You ok?

Xxxxxc


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## Chixy

Well my Walnut Whippers you have been busy.

Jules - congrats Hun - thought I'd also write it on here too even though we chatted on the phone.

Becky - woohoo - congratulations on being PUPO - wow 3. The quality of your embryos sound fantastic. Have you got any other medication this time or just the pesseries? Sending you sticky vibes  

Kirstie - good news on your lining today - all seems to be going in the right direction. Looking forward to seeing you and your lovely new home on Saturday.

Poppy - you sound like you are doing great with your weight program - well done you. Another wedding for you - I love getting dressed up - you must send us all a picture in your new outfit. 

Bexter - hope you are well and you have had some good news about your new house? 

Tricia - lovely of you to find time to chat with us all back on here - you are amazing with being able to juggle your twins at the same time .

Hello to all you other lovely ladies.

AFM - I had EC today - I was quite nervous because it was with a different clinic where it was sudasion rather than fully being knocked out. I am pleased to tell you I didn't feel a thing and I can't remember a thing!! Phew. So 6 eggs were collected. Not as many as previous cycles but hoping this means quality over quantity.   The phone call tomorrow brings us good news that we have embryos. Julie promised to do a jiggy dance to help them get it on tonight in the lab, if you could all join in I would appreciate it. Hopefully this jiggy dance from you all will mean all 6 will reach embryo status!!!     

Sending you all love and hugs


----------



## tricia1012

Chixy - well done 6 eggs is great . Doing a jiggy dance just for you for those embies  best of luck Hun xx

Becky - congrats on being pupo ! Great embies on board imagine if they all take  x

Bexter - how are you? Would be lovely to meet up , we are looking in the same area we just need more room it's quickly filling up with baby stuff here and I need room for when fam stay , bit of a nightmare having to move with babies though . Xx


----------



## Bexter83

*Chixy*, well done on EC, I'll be doing a jiggy dance for your eggies, I'll put on a bit of will smith "gotta get jiggy with it". few bits to sort out on the house front but hopefully will all go through, if so, it's looking like we'll exchange early-mid October.

*Tricia*, jeez I can imagine, big prams and all their equipment, let alone toys etc... Also moving becomes not so straight forward but tbh it would be true Tricia style to have something crazy going on . I'm ok thank you, I text the nurse yesterday to see if Sam abdullah has been in touch to have next appointment with the clinic. However, I'm in no rush, I don't really want to know my fate yet and I really do t want to start any treatment anytime soon either.

Love to all xxxx


----------



## Chixy

Thank you all my beautiful Whippers for all your jiggy dancing, I think your magic must have helped. So our house phone started ringing about ten past ten ( embryologist said she would ring between 10 and 12), my heart started pounding out my chest!!! (what if none of them fertilised - eek) She told me that 5 out of the 6 have fertilised!!! We nearly had full house but my cheeky DH swimmers got greedy and two swimmers went into one egg!!

Hope you are all well. If you could now do a special dance to help the embryos reach 5th day and high quality I would really appreciate it.

Love and hugs to you all  

Chixy xx


----------



## tricia1012

Chixy - that's excellent news 😃 !! You'll have some great top grade embies , keep up the pma ! Xx


----------



## BeckyA

Great news *chixy*, fingers crossed for some good development over the next few days!


----------



## hopeful1985

Big hugs and good luck to Becky, Jules and Chixy!! Wishing u all the best in the next few weeks!!

I hate to post sad stuff when everything in the wall is so positive but unfortunately I got a BFN. Will speak to u soon. X


----------



## tricia1012

Hopeful I'm so so sorry Hun I know how heartbreaking it is were all here for you if you need us , sending you massive hugs take care of yourself xxx


----------



## BeckyA

So sorry to hear that hopeful, big hugs. Xx


----------



## jules418

Hopeful, I am so sorry to hear your news sending you massive hugs and cuddles. We are here for you when you want us xxxxxxxxx 

Chixy, fab news on the fertilisation and I shall be doing my lovely big for you for the next 5 days at least xxxx

BeckyA, congrats on being pupo and otd two weeks try not to symptom spot xxx

Thanks everyone for you well wishes it means alot

Jules xxxx


----------



## Bexter83

*Hopeful*, I'm so sorry Hun, sending you the biggest hugs in the world  . We re all here for you if you ever want to talk, I truly am sorry xxx

*Chixy*, great fertilisation rate. Have they indicated on when ET is likely? Xxx

*Becky*, hope your keeping well and am thinking sticky thoughts for you xxx

Lots of love to you all


----------



## poppy05

hopeful, im so sorry to read your news, words fail me, its just so unfair, please know we are all here for you whenever you need us, you dont deserve this, i wish i could help all my lovely girls somehow   sending you and dh lots of love and strength, thinking of you sweetheart xxxx


chixy, thats great fertilisation, praying they make it to blast    xx


becky i just know your gonna get triplets!    congrats on being pupo hunni xx


----------



## K.Notman

Good morning Whippers.

Hopeful- I'm so sorry to hear your sad news but never feel bad for posting on here as we are your 100% support network so let it all out hunni. Sending you massive hugs.  I know there is nothing that can make you feel any better and only time will heal so take as much as you need.  Lots of love x

BeckyA- how are you doing hun?  Lots of nice things planned for the next fortnight to get distracted? Early nights and healthy routines- lots of TLC.

Chixy- I'm praying so much that your phone call is positive tomorrow with results of your embryo testing. There is hopefully a really strong embie in there that is looking forward to being given a new home.  Look after your tummy- water bottle, brazil nuts, foot soaks, relaxing all on the agenda ready for ET. xx

Jules- I hope the nausea is easing although in some ways it's still confirmation that everything is ok down there.  It must be so hard waiting between scans.

A big hello and hugs to the other Whippers- poppy, Bexter, Tricia.

AFM, brilliant house warming party at the weekend and all cleaned up yesterday with time to see folks for Sunday dinner and then a chill-out in the evening with my hot water bottle!  Acupuncture tonight and early nights all week with lots of cabbage, greens, spinach!  Next scan is Friday to check lining growth and plan a date for FET.  It's all go go go on here again so so lots of prayers, hugs baby dust and Bob Marley chilled vibes going about to everyone. xxxxxxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Morning Whippers,

How are you all?

*Hopeful*, really hope your keeping ok Hun, more hugs being sent your way xxxx

*Chixy*, how are you doing? What's the latest? Xxx

*Becky* how are you doing? Hope your keeping well in your 2ww xxx

Kirstie, your house warming party sounded fab, glad it went well. How did your acupuncture sesh go? Sounds like your creating your lively baby palace, ready to receive your embie(s).

Love to poppy, jules, Tricia, lottie, kazza 

*Afm*, I text the nurse last week to see what's happening and left a voice message at the clinic on Monday but not heard back. I have booked my first acupuncture session for tomorrow, to regulate my AF cycles, so will prob need to do that once a week for a while (ouch on the purse). Not planning a treatment/cycle of whatever it would be this side if Christmas and we go on holiday early next year and have just got my figure back these last few weeks, so I think I would wait till after that and try and enjoy this time. See if acupuncture works to bring my periods back to a regular pattern. Anyways, as you know I like to have a plan but am only going to have an overall idea/plan but really just go with the flow. Going to plan a little weekend trip away in the winter with just the DH, as that's much needed.


----------



## Chixy

Hello to my lovely Whippers,

Hopeful - I am so sad to hear your news. Life is so poop at times. Sending you big hugs and hope you can soon focus on what you and DH will do next. Sending you big big   

Jules: how are you feeling these days? Hope the MS has subsided. Loved seeing you on Saturday - time always flies when we get together. 

Tricia - I really appreciate your jiggy dance - I think it really helped. How are you? Tired I bet with looking after your beautiful twins.

Poppy - have you worn your new dress yet - pictures please!

Bexter - you sound like you have got lots of exciting things planned. I think it's a great plan to enjoy all of those things before getting back on the band wagon with treatment. Have lots of fun. Jealous of you gorgeous figure  

Becky - how are you ? Any symptoms ?   All will turn out good this time  

AFM I am pleased to tell you all that I am now PUPO - eeeek. Please let me introduce you to Webster!! Please stick with me Webster. 
However the journey to get there was very stressful over the last couple of days. So Tuesday (day 5) I was waiting on another call from the embryologist to update me in our embryos. I felt sick all day and certainly couldn't face food. Half 2 they rang to tell me that two had made it to blastocyst - yepee and they were carrying out the biopsy on them both, however they wouldn't get the results for 24 hours    The embryologist provisionally booked us in for ET on Wednesday. Due to having to travel for an hour and a half we had to set off before we would know if we would have any embryos that came back normal. I was so emotional because I really didn't think they would make it. We were about 20 minutes away from clinic when my mobile rang - heart pounding out of my chest again - embryologist was able to confirm that after the biopsy one had come back as normal but the other was abnormal. I still cannot quite believe it because I really thought they were not going to make. We were booked in ET at 3:30pm but traffic was not bad and we managed to arrive an hour early. They called us in as soon as we arrived. So I am very pleased and excited but at the same time very nervous to now try and get through the next hurdle -  This is out time with a positive. No symptoms to report  

Love and hugs to you all 

Chixy xxx   Xxx


----------



## Bexter83

Congrats on being PUPO *Chixy*    , v axioms and stressful time for you, you didn't need that, however Webster sounds fantastic, strong and healthy, I really think this is your time Hun xxxxxx rest up, relax and switch off xxxx


----------



## BeckyA

Congrats on being pupo *chixy*! Great news. Sorry you went through such a tough time to get there. Fingers crossed webster does his work!

I haven't named my 3 embies....!

*bexster*, hope the acupunture was good. Sounds like you have got some nice things planned before the next cycle. Take it all as it comes.

Good luck for scan tomorrow *kirstie*, hope you get on ok! X

Hello and  to all the other *whippers*!

AFM, Not really getting many symptoms except ones you can chalk up to progesterone, today I am 7dp3dt so still a way to go. Tomorrow is my last day at work for a week due to the local wine harvest festival, so DH and I are off to Salou for a week! Can't wait. We are going to the same place as last year as we liked it so much. 
I am wondering whether I should go in the swimming pool and/or sea though ladies, what do you think?


----------



## Bexter83

How exciting *Becky*!&#128515; a nice holiday will be lovely, nice and relaxing. There are mixed things about swimming during the 2ww and early pregnancy but it really is about what you feel comfortable doing and as long as nothing is strenuous. Thanks Hun, I just want to switch off from it, I've kinda got used to the idea of not having children rather than my feelings of when, as it was explained that they don't feel we will have success with IVF with my eggs. I spoke to the clinic yesterday and they've not heard back from the lister and have started chasing them up, so hopefully will hear back soon and know options (eeek!). Anyways xxx have a wonderful holiday chicky xxx


----------



## K.Notman

Good morning lovelies!
Becky- I think the reason they say to avoid swimming is more from risk of infection if what you're swimming in is carrying anything  
It will be some lovely for you to have a break.  Bit of a bummer not being able to drink in the wine festival but time off work is a bonus.  Rest up and enjoy the break.

Jules- I hope you are coping with tiredness and sickness but still finding time to sit and smile to yourself that you've made it and now carrying a precious little one.  We need to name your bump.

Chixy- I was trying to remember what yo called your blasto when telling Ralph and I called him Walter- lol! I'm sure Webster is snuggling in there tight.  These days will drag as we know they do so keep busy with fun things- we could do a tea and cake session!

Bexter- Good luck with the house move and keeping things ticking on with fertility research for what options to choose when you are ready.  It's great still seeing you posting here and cheering us on.

Poppy- yes we need photos of your spending spree and the new thinner, healthy you with big smiles!

Hello all other lurkers xxx

AFM, dildo-cam reported 6.4mm healthy lining this morning. So tomorrow I start the Clexane and pessaries.  I'm going in to the clinic first thing to do my first injection with the nurse as I'm a bit anxious.  Will be fine after I've got the first one out of the way.  So my FET has been booked for Thursday afternoon!  If the blasts did not survive the thaw, I'll get a call in the morning but all being well I could be PUPO with two this time next week!  I'm ready for this and glad it's come around quickly.  I'm doing my routines with hot-water bottle and switching off when DH has a strop so his negativity doesn't ruin my Qui! I'm booked for acupuncture next week so all my 'flow' is as it should be and then me and Bob Marley will do some 'Jammin'! 

Have a good one folks xxxxxx


----------



## Chixy

Becky - hope you have been enjoying your time off work - on your holidays. How are you? Have you been tempted to test early? Not long now to your OTD - hope you've managed to maintain the positivity. I had a bit of a wobble today - worried I feel empty in my womb and no symptoms to report of. Kirstie and Jules are fab keeping me level headed and helping to keep the faith and positive mental attitude - thanks girls.

Hope all of you are well

Love to all

Chixy xx


----------



## BeckyA

Thanks for asking after me *chixy*. Unfortunately not looking so good at the moment, had negative hpts yesterday and today (today is 12dp3dt, so really should be showing something on hpt), plus (sorry if tmi guys) been having stringy bits of brown and some red coming out. Also got those dull af pains in tummy and lower back. Not very hopeful. Gonna keep on testing tomorrow and thursday but expecting full flow any time now. Not booked in for beta blood til monday as away from home at the seaside (beta was supposed to be on thursday). I imagine I will have had AF by then, but still need to go and give bloods to confirm.

When's your otd? Got everything crossed for you!

*kirstie*, how are you feeling about thursday? Xx


----------



## Bexter83

My lovely gorgeous Becky & Chixy, have been thinking of you both everyday and rooting for you. I pray for your BFP's xxxxx

Kirstie, know we've spoken but hoping you're getting the hang of this jabs and the clexane stops stinging, you've been v brave. Not long until you're PUPO , I know this time is also v unsettling, thinking of you also.

Lots of love to everyone else xxxxxxxx


----------



## tricia1012

Becky and Chixy - best of luck girls praying you get your BFP's you truly deserve it xx

Kirstie - hope your ok Hun , those clexane jabs sting  I hated those but 100% worth it , keep strong Hun xx

Bexter - how are you ? Hope all is well xx

Hi to everyone else sorry not a proper message just want you to know am thinking of you all and wishing you get your BFP's , good luck girls 

Love and babydust to all xxxx


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## K.Notman

Good morning Whippers!

Becky hun it sounds like a right mind game.  I’m so sorry you are not getting something more positive and can only advise that you hang on in there until conclusive test.  Sending you my prayers and best wishes.  I’m holding my bracelet with my ‘no-worries’ vibe for you xxxxx

Chixy- This 2 ww is a right rollercoaster.  It’s so hard telling yourself all of the logical things but yet your heart is telling you everything else.  Try not to over think and symptom spot.  You have a proven viable blast on board.  Look after it and yourself with lots of TLC.  Keep busy with positive distractions.  We are all here for group hugs when you need xxx

Jules- How are you feeling now- still exhausted?  I’m hoping things settle down for you and you can look forward to your next scan- when is that?

Bexter- any more news on the house move?  I know the feeling of just wanting to get in there and unpacked now- this part seems to take forever.  But then the fun starts making your home!

Tricia- Thank you for sticking around and supporting us sending us your best wishes. How are you coping with your routines now?

Poppy- we are still waiting to see some lovely photos of your wedding attire!  Hope you are well my lovely xxx

AFM, Well I’m into all the routines as before so taking it all in my stride.  The injections aren’t so bad and the sting doesn’t last long- it just makes me pull some Mr Men faces! So, I’m feeling good about the FET. Praying I don’t get the call in the morning saying they didn’t thaw.  I don’t know how often this happens but we have two and they would not have been frozen if they weren’t good enough.  So I’m feeling ok generally.  I know the second week of the 2ww is a different story and as I’ve yet to get a BFP I’m just going to wait until OTD and see what it brings.  There’s no point worrying about anything as that does nothing.  I’m doing all I can and the rest is out of our hands.  I’m going to insist on lots of TLC form DH and milk it whilst I can though!  Will keep you posted about what happens tomorrow.  Love and hugs to all xxxx


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## jules418

Hello You lovely ladies 

Missing you all as not getting chance to come on line these days,  gone are the f5 days in the office ha ha. 

Becky,  I have everything crossed for you hunni and my little star Bracelet is under strain xxx 

Chixy, sending you a pma slap. Hard not to think the worst but that just gets you down so I am always here with random silly comments for you xxx

Kirstie,  all the best for tomorrow hunni well be thinking of you all day sending sticky thoughts xxx that sounds so wrong ha ha ha 

Hopeful,  hope you are OK and we are all here for you xxx

Bexter,  glad you have some plans for the coming months and fab that acupuncture is working well so far so good xxx 

Poppy,  how are you hun what's new with you and yes pics of you in the dress please lol xxx 

Tricia lottie and kazza, hope you are all well and enjoying the changes in your life with your little ones xxx 

Hello any one I have missed hope all is good xxx

Afm, we had our 12 wk scan on Monday and 'norman' aka normie is doing well had grown loads and is now 6.5 cm in length,  Crown to rump. The sickness is wearing off now unless I over do it (run for the train) the tiredness is mega and the last few days I am out of breath all the time even just from talking so most of the time ha ha.  
Any way apart from seeing little dude I still don't feel like I'm pregnant so for those that are symptom watching sometimes there are just no symptoms. I didn't feel any just normal pmt so was massive shock (good shock). Next scan is Nov 21st seems ages away. 

Right enough of me sending huge mammoth hugs and bum wiggles to you all xxxxxxx        

Lots of love Jules xxxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Hello my beauty queens   


I've just typed a massive post and flipping well lost it!!!!    i can't retype it all, and ive now got the hump!!! 


So to cut a nice long post short - 


Becky pma my darling    thinking of you


chixy, and to you sweetheart    praying with all my heart for you girls   


Kirstie OMG fet tomorrow!!!    sending you oodles of positivity, and i really hope this is your time beautiful, you so deserve it, you all do   




jules im so so so so so so SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy to hear all is well with normie, you must feel so relieved to be at the first milestone, and you can begin telling people your wonderful news   


Hi bester, tricia, lottie, kazza, hopeful, much love gorgeous girls   


AFM, i will try to post a pic of me at wedding, i had to take a sicky from work as i wouldnt of got the day off, we're not allowed to take odd saturdays and ive got no holiday left, so i was naughty and rang in sick!! so ive not been able to post anything on **, all the pics are still on my camera, when i put them on my laptop i will try and post one in here, i didnt take many tbh, im a nightmare for that, i take my camera and then forget to take pics!!! 


We are currently looking at booking another trip! only a 2 nighter, but we are both off the weekend after new year, so we decided as neither of us really want anything for christmas we may aswell nip off for a couple of nights as our present to eachother, so we are thinking of Amsterdam, altho the mrs had a fit when i said i want to see the red light district and go to the sex museum!!    i better not tell her about the live sex shows!!!   
anyway if any of you have been and have any recommendations i would love to hear.


We are off out sat night to celebrate my FIL's 65th birthday, nice italian! food that is, my father in law isnt a nice italian!    thats another weekend the diet will be blown out! however ive now lost 19lb's! could of been more but we've had alot of meals out and drinking recently, but im still pleased, i managed to fit into a pair of work trousers today that i couldnt even get over my backside 2 months ago! 


Sending my love as always, hope you are all ok, and all our mini whippers are being good for their yummy mummys   


Poppy xxxx


----------



## BeckyA

Thanks for your pma ladies, love you guys  but it's defo a BFN for me again, AF turned up late last night.  
Last of our funded goes, so got to sit down and think about next steps and what we can afford (financially and emotionally).

*kirstie*, wishing you all the luck in the world today.


----------



## K.Notman

Oh Becky sweetheart. I'm so so sorry to hear that.  You have been through so much already.  I hope you can give yourself the time you need to think all of this through. It's not the end of the road and there are lots of options, so lots of research.  Sending you massive hugs, cuddles and Jules' bum wiggles xxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Massive Hugs Becky xxxxxxxxx


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## Bexter83

*Becky*, I'm so sorry Hun, all the hugs in the world to you and the Dh   . are no words, I just wish it were a different outcome. Lots of love xxxxxx

Love to everyone, will be back on later xxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Oh Becky im so sad to read your news my darling   
sending you both much love and thoughts.
We are all here for you when you need us sweetheart xxxxx


----------



## K.Notman

Just a quick one to announce that I'm PUPO!  2 blasts on board.  The weaker one actually did really well and they upgraded it after the thaw so I have a 5Ac and 5Bc (was 4Bc) If that means anything to anyone? lol.  The embryologist was very happy anyway and the consultant liked my lining.  Have to wait all the way until 8th Oct to test so I'm just going to take it easy, jammin, chillin and seeing what happens.
Love to all xxx


----------



## poppy05

Kirstie our posts crossed, so Wooooooo Hoooooooo!!
yay so glad your snow babies are tucked up safely in mummy, now think fluffy sticky thoughts, and sending you love, luck and a truck load of babydust! xxxx


----------



## BeckyA

Great news kirstie, sending you sticky vibes! Xxx


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## tricia1012

Becky I'm so so sorry it's so unfair sending you massive hugs xxx

Kirstie - yay! Congrats on being pupo Hun and two good blasts on board  get those mini whippers snuggled in , that would be our third twinnies , best of luck and take it easy will be thinking of you xx

Poppy - lovely to see you back on here hope you and the mrs are well xx

Jules - how's it going ? I know the scans seem so far apart but time really will go quick  xx

Love to everyone else xx


----------



## K.Notman

Thank you guys.  Love my Whippers.
This is the first cycle I've not joined any cycle buddy boards as I feel for the first time I really can't be bothered investing lots of time following a load of people's tx (God that makes me sound harsh!).  I just don't want to get obsessed with it all.  I know the routine and have you guys as my rock- some of you at the drop of a text and that's all I need. I don't want to fill my 2ww with fertility issues and just need to 'keep calm and carry on- Bob Marley style' not worryin' 'bout a ting mon! 
Have a brill weekend one and all. xxx (lol "brill" was so 80's- like "skill", that reminds me of a badge I STILL have on my Christmas stocking that says "Santa is Skill" LMAO!) xxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Hello my lovelies xxx

*Becky*, been thinking of you a lot, big hugs are still coming your way , lots of love X

*Kirstie*, completely know where you're coming from with that (you know that anyway) and do not feel bad about that, you are so selfless and caring and tbh, during the 2ww, it's the time to eliminate any added stresses and added pressures to your life, so spending every night trying to catch up on 5 pages of people's posts and then conjure one back, hoping that you've remembered each person, you really don't need that. Lol, you completely lost me on brill, skill and Christmas badge but it made you laugh, so I'll go with that! ). 
Hope you're feeling fine though Hun and your little beanies are snuggling in nicely , have you made names for them yet?

*Poppy*, super well done on your weight loss, you've done fantastically, cannot wait to see pics . How have you been? Ha ha, love that you've already started getting excited about Christmas .

*Jules*, how have you been? Hope you and Norman are keeping well, been thinking of you xxx know what you mean, feels ages away until your next scan but the time will probably fly by. Will you find out the sex then? I already told you before but am so thinking a boy.

*Chixy*, how are you keeping Hun? When is OTD?

*Tricia*, how are you and your gorgeous bubbas doing? How's the house hunting going? I'm good thank you Hun , things are moving a long with the house, so should be moving next month, which I'm excited about.

*Hopeful*, how are you doing? Sending big hugs to you also .

AFM, so the clinic have been trying to contact the lister for the info and guidence they've requested but they've not heard back, I'll call again next week. So as much as I feel a little lost, happy but a little lost, not knowing what I'm doing with all this tbh but I can only control my happiness, enjoy and embrace what I do have and not what I don't, so that's what I've been doing. Any ways, as it's the first time I haven't been throwing myself back into a cycle after a failed one, I wanted to start acupuncture to try and regulate my AF cycles, as I mentioned before. So I had my first session last Thursday, which was day 41 of my cycle (mine could be anything, been 90 days before, with no pmt symptoms prior), so I was completely shocked when I woke up the next morning with serious PMT, where I shouted at the bin collection man from my window and was so annoyed that it took me until I got to work and had to have a debate about something and for someone to side with me to get over it  and I got my period!! Had my second session today, so watch this space, maybe my cycles might become normal again Although I am very aware that this is not about fertility, as this is not impacting or controlling the quality or the maturity of any egg which may be releasing each month, if one is at all.

Any ways ladies, hope you enjoy your weekend, lots of love xxxxx


----------



## K.Notman

How did you not get the 80s reference to kids saying things like Brill and Skill?  Where were you bought up?  Surely this wasn't just a Brummy thing?
Someone help me out here!


----------



## Bexter83

Lol, I have just had to ask the dh, as he's a 70's baby and yep skills wasn't just a brummy thing . I think this is the first time in a long time where I'm not the one getting funny looks, where I quote something and realise that im not such a spring chicken , I was born in the 80's, plus we were so poor and I even had my brothers hand me downs, that I probably didn't get to use the term 'brill" or "skill" very much  xxx


----------



## BeckyA

Good evening whippers! Hope you are all well. Thanks for all your thoughts and virtual hugs!

*kirstie*, how are you getting on in the 2ww? Hope it is flying by for you! i am a child of the 80s and totally used brill and skill! It wasn't just a brummy thing! I remember my brother writing "Nik is skill" everywhere, bearing in mind his name is Nick and he was just copying Nik Kershaw spelling (remember him!?)

*bexster*, glad the acupuncture is working for you!

*chixy*, how are you getting on? Got everything crossed for you still. Xx

AFM, back from hols and back to work today - long day worked nearly 10 hours as inducting the new teachers. Also had beta hcg bloods today, no surprise it came back negative. Clinic have been lovely and offered for me to go in for a meeting so they can advise on going private in Spain, so got that a week on Friday.

Love to all! Xx


----------



## K.Notman

Hi Becky. I'm glad they are thinking of next steps for you and you don't need to wait too long. Have you got a list of questions you want to ask? Do you know if you are going to do any further investigation/testing?  There are lots of possibilities open to you but it seems a big leap of faith to go through it all again and to have to pay for it this time.  I hope they can provide the answers you need.

I'm fine thanks for everyone asking after me.  I'm feeling a few twinges down there but I did last time and got BFN. I think I'm just tender from the Clexane jabs to be honest. I'm trying to take things easy but you know how my life is! I'm making sure I'm getting early nights and eating well.  I'm as chilled out as I've always been.  What will be will be and all that. The clinic and amazing people who work there have done everything they can and now it's down to the miracle element.  These days do drag but I'm just trying not to think about it.  I did have one funny dream though- with the pessaries and supplements and jabs its all a bit crazy and I dreamed I ate a pessary rather than a tablet!  ummmmmmm I'll leave you with that thought!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Chixy

hi lovely ladies,

just a quick one from me - I'm very sad to tell you  it is a BFN and so it is the end of the road for us. 

i am finding it very hard to come to terms with right now, facing the fact that i will never be a mother - hold my new born baby or even experience reaching full term pregnancy is incomprehensible - hard times ahead 

love to you all

Chixy xx


----------



## Bexter83

Chixy, I'm so sorry xxxxxxxx I'll inbox you and am always here for you xxxxxxxx much love to you


----------



## tricia1012

Chixy - I'm so sorry Hun I know there's no words to make it feel better but were here for you if you need us xxx


----------



## poppy05

chixy my darling, im so very sorry, i know how you are feeling,  im here if you want to talk, you dont deserve this, life is so very very unfair, sending you hugs,


----------



## BeckyA

Chixy I am absolutely gutted for you. Sending you so many hugs right now. Xxx


----------



## K.Notman

Chixy, I know we've been in touch but I'm still sending you lots of love.

AFM, 2 more sleeps!  Don't worry- no need for pee-stick police   with me.  I'm a good girl and wait until OTD then do three tests at once to make sure I have one definitive answer.  Please let it be positive


----------



## poppy05

good luck kirstie, you have immense willpower girlie! well done for not testing early, i hope and pray this is your time     


sending love to all of you, sorry for short post, im off to work now xxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Fingers crossed for u Kirstie... we r due some good news! Xx


----------



## tricia1012

Kirstie - best of luck for test day I'm keeping everything crossed for you , well done for being strong and not giving in and testing .   It's your time xx


----------



## poppy05

Evening beauts   


I need a little (lots) bit of positive vibes, we have our adoption info meeting tomorrow!!!!   
really cannot believe it, i feels unreal we are about to begin a new chapter, and i really dont know what to expect, im so scared they will just say 'no babies so its a no'!! but i will die trying to become a mummy, so im not giving up now, not after 20 years!
I coloured my hair today, its bright red as some of you will know from **, and i looked in the mirror and thought 'omg they might think im not fit to be a mother with such bright hair'!!!!    dopey cow!! hahaha
Imagine how i will be when a social worker has to do a home visit!!! i'll have the mrs re decorating!!!   


Anyway sorry for the me post, will let you know how we get on.
love to you all xxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Hello lovelies xxx

*Kirstie*, I have everything crossed for you, not long now xxxxxxxx

*Poppy*, wishing you all thes best today, you will be fab and they'll love you, how could they not!! Let us know how you get on, all the best xxxxxxxx

Love to you all xxxxxxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

You will be fab Poppy!!! Xx


----------



## K.Notman

BFP!!!!!!!  
First time in my life and I owe it to a lot of science and faith. You guys have been amazing.  Thank you so much.  There are not enough words to pass on my gratitude.

Poppy- Good luck today, I hope this is your time too. Sending you massive hugs xxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Whoop whoop!!! Told u this thread was due good news!!!!! Congrats!!!!!! So happy for u x xx


----------



## BeckyA

Best news ever Kirstie! So pleased for you. Xxx


----------



## K.Notman

Thank you guys.
I just really hope that Hopeful, Becky, Bexter & Chixy get to see their BFPs too. When the time is right, it will happen. Love you all xxx


----------



## tricia1012

OMG ! Yay 😀 this has made my day congrats Kirstie !! I'm so happy for you and your hubby , I just told my other half and he's delighted I keep him up to date with whippers news aswell lol xx

Poppy - hope the other eve went well for you both as I'm sure it did who could not love you and see you'll be amazing parents !! Xx

Jules - how is it going ?  When's your next scan ? Xx

Hopeful , Becky , Bexter and Chixy always thinking of you all and wishing and praying for the BFP's you deserve it will happen girls xxx


----------



## poppy05

Kirstie my lovely girl, im over the flipping moon for you! congratulations, you have been such a wonderful ff to have, so supportive, always encouraging, you deserve this so much, when is your scan? 
ah i bet you couldnt believe it when you did your test this morning, such wonderful news, lots of love to you both   


Jules how are you sweetie? hope all is well   


bexter, becky, tricia  charlotte, chixy, hopeful, kazza, hope you lovelies are all ok   


AFM, we went to the info eve lastnight, it was quite good, we kind of knew most of what we got told, but it was nice to hear it from them and hear a bit more about the process, unfortunately there are no babies available, which we did already know, they said they arent accepting anyone requesting the age range of 0-3, and alot of agencies have completely closed their books to new adopters, im sure it will change again in a few months, but we had already decided our age range would be 0-5 and the adoption person said that is fine, obviously we want a baby, and yes we are hoping we will get lucky and be offered a child under 3, however we desperately want a family, and if our child is a bit older then so be it, there is still so much we can do together.
The process is going to be tough  very tough, there are so many courses to attend, and they offer extra stuff too, which is fab, we already want to get ourselves on the paediatric first aid one! they offer to s of support all throughout the process, and post placement, it felt very personal and comfortable, wasnt at all how i imagined, so we have requested the initial forms to send off to see if we will be accepted into stage 1!!!!!


----------



## K.Notman

Thank you again everyone, still beaming! Scan is 30th Oct.  Seems ages away and I know anything could happen in this time so still taking things carefully.  DH and are are going on a mini break to Centreparcs for a few days of time-out which will be great.

Poppy- That all sounds fantastic!  Yes a long road ahead but an exciting one and you had dw with you every step of the way along with your FF family.  Please keep us posted.

Right- the next Whippers meet-up...
Bexter & I have planned to do the Birmingham Christmas Market on Saturday 5th December.  I have spare rooms in my wonderful new house for anyone wanting to stop for the weekend. If you want to come, please PM me and give me your number if I don't already have it and we can confirm details.  I'm hoping it can be as fantastic as the last one and even more so with some festive cheer- the food and drink is lovely!

Lots of love xxxx


----------



## jules418

Hello lovely ladies xxxx

How are you all hope you are well. 

Kirstie I am so blumming chuffed for you and Ralph I just can't say. Xxxx make sure you take it easy ok!!!!

Chixy, babe I know I have been in touch but I am gutted for you and DH, we are here when you are ready xxx love you lots xxxx 

Bexter,  yay glad the house move is progressing glad to have a rough move date cant wait to see it xxx

Poppy, whoop whoop glad the adoption meeting went well you will be a fab mommy and no matter the age will welcome him/her in to your hearts xx love the hair btw. 

BeckyA. How are you doing hun? How did you get on with the meeting? Hope you get some answers and a plan of action. 

Hopeful,  lovely to see you here, how are you have you had a follow up yet, what is next with your journey? 

Tricia, lottie, kazza hope all is well with you guys 

Afm I am well thanks getting big,  next scan is on 21st Nov and I will be just over 21wks seems ages away but looking forward to it.  Bob is off to Cyprus the next day with work so am pleased it wasn't booked for the Monday. 

Love to you all. I can't make the meet up as my sisters 40th birthday weekend,  will try for a coffee on the Sunday though xxx

Jules xxxx


----------



## poppy05

Evening girls


Kirstie i cant make the christmas meet up either, i work saturdays so would never be able to do a sat, (rubbish) its also my christmas work do that night, then on the sunday its my friends baby shower which im kinda organising, i so want to meet up with you guys, there always seems to be something in the way!   


Jules how on earth can you be so far gone already?    blimey time is flying! want to see a bump pic please   


Anyone got something nice planned for the weekend?
its wifeys birthday tomorrow so theres a crowd of us going out for an indian, since our diet ive been craving a curry, and i mean a real one with naan, popadoms, and wine!!!    slimming world can go do one tomorrow night!!!!!!


Have a great weeknd girls
lots of love xxx


----------



## jules418

I am off work 21st Dec for two weeks could meet up then? 

I know poppy it is going so fast scary!!! 

I shall try and get a bump pic sorted out so it looks like bump not just a fat shot lol 

I am meeting my sister tomorrow for a spot of shopping and indulgence ha ha and chilling on Sunday.  Will watch the rugby sat night even though England are out booo. 

Defo kick sw to the keen for (sing it) ONE NIGHT ONLYYYYYYY,  lol. Well do you good and then you will feel more achievement for getting back on it xxxx you are doing so well xxx 

Jules xxx


----------



## BeckyA

Good morning lovely ladies!

*jules*, i nearly teared up when I saw you had put the lillypie on your sig. Isn't time flying by?

*poppy*, excellent news on the start of your adoption journey. You are a brave lady and we are with you every step of the way. Your curry sounds fab, i miss curries!! Enjoy it, you deserve it!

*kirstie*, hope you are still on cloud 9.

*bexster*, hope you are well and the house move is progresing.

*hopeful* and *chixy*, sending you big hugs as always and hope you are doing ok.

Hope the fabulous mammas *lottie*, *kazza* and *tricia* are doing well.

AFM, thanks for asking after me guys. Had very short meeting with the clinic yesterday but outcome was good. In their opinion I respond well to stimms, and my embryos are of a decent quality. So the issue is non implantation, or bad implantation. They are going to do extensive bloods analysis on us both:
Me - biochemic (glucose, urea, creatinanine, b12, folic acid, hydroxy vitamin d, got/ast, gpt/apt); immunes (c3/4, antinuclears, anti-dna, antiTPO, anticardiolipin, antigliadin, antitransglutamin); hormones (tsh, t4, prolactin, insulin); hematology (anticoagulants, d-dimer, hypercoaguability)
DH - blood karyotypes, chromosone y study

PHEW! Really happy they are doing these as they would cost at least 700 euros of done privately. One we get the results we can then approach private clinics. They have suggested we go with IVI as they have best rep in Spain and also have lots of added extras such as embryoscope or PGD. Unfortunately they don't have a clinic in our city, so we would have to drive for 2 hours to get there.


----------



## Lottie1802

Hey ladies!!!! 

Sorry I've not posted for a while, every time I sit down to type something ends up happening and I get pulled away but I have been reading and I've text where I can x 

Thanks for all the lovely messages and likes on ********, the girls or should I call them the mini whippers are doing really well ! 

A massive congrats to Kirstie and Jules , I am so pleased for you and praying this is a sign of things to come for the other ladies! 

Poppy I hope your meeting went well! I'm so proud of you for never giving up! Your gonna be the best mum and you deserve it so much x x 

Bexter, Becky, hopeful  I hope you beautiful ladies are doing well! 

Chixy, I was sorry to see your post, I am sending you massive hugs and kisses , I'm gutted for you, and no words will make it ok but know we are all here for you x x 

Tricia! I couldn't leave you out! I know we keep in contact but love to you all as always 

AFM just enjoying my time off work, it's my dad's 60th in two weeks so been busy arranging a buffet and cake as we are surprising him with a family gathering! 

As for the meet up that's hubby's birthday weekend otherwise I would of loved to of finally met some of you! X


----------



## K.Notman

Good morning Whippers.
My body clock still wakes me at 6am even on weekends. I put my bottom bullet up then go back to bed for half an hour whilst it attempts to be absorbed! Then I have my massive mug of decaf-tea and inject my Clexane before some brekkie and a handful of tablets! Believe me, I'd do anything to make this a viable pregnancy so bring it on. Now I'm snuggled on sofa with blanket and Disney film until Ralph wakes.

Thank you very much for all of the well-wishes, it means so much to have all of the support. We had a scare on Friday though, only a day after the amazing '2 line' experience. I noticed bright red blood in one of my morning toilet wipes. Of course I totally freaked and Googled 'blood after BFP' to find such a mixed bag of reasons and outcomes so I just phoned the hospital and they reassured me that this can be completely normal and to just keep an eye on it and let them know if it gets any worse. Of course my head was a bit of a mess and it took the edge off the happiness we were feeling. Ralph was on a long 12 hr shift so I didn't want to text him and worry him all day so I just had to make myself busy to take my mind off things. I had planned on mowing the lawn in the afternoon but instead I put my feet up and caught up on recorded TV. Then Panto rehearsal in the evening was good escapism with good friends. (Yes it's that time of year again! Its Ali Baba and the four tea thieves this year!) I'm just in the chorus but we have quite a few songs to learn and a belly-dance! (that will be interesting if I'm 4 months pregnant!).

Luckily I've had no problems since but I'm on knicker and wipe watch now. Really trying to keep the Bob Marley chilled approach and not worry but this roller-coaster is a bumpy ride. The scan is Fri 30th Oct and that seems ages away at the moment. We are both off work that week so planning a mini-break at Centre Parcs or something (although being half-term it will be packed with kids which I'm not keen on and would prefer somewhere hotter but time to relax is the main thing). So I'm just going to take it one day at a time and really look after myself and little bean(s). Still don't know how many are in there and hoping the scan will tell us.

*Lottie-* I may well be asking loads of advice about twins! How are you getting on hun? Settled into the routines now. It must be such a massive adventure. I love reading your ** posts, they are growing fast.

*Becky*- Oh my goodness, what an extensive list of testing! Fantastic that they are offering all of that as part of your funded treatment before you go self-funded. I hope you don't have to wait long for answers and suggestions of a way forward but also it will be good to have a relaxed festive season with food and wine a-plenty, ready for new start in the new year. I'm feeling very hopeful and optimistic for you. Thank you again for my bracelet, I'm still wearing it and often use it to focus my prayers for you.

*Jules-* thanks for all of the text message support. Its great to have friends who really know what a bumpy journey this is. I'm looking forward to our next lunch and giving you a big hug. It would be great if you could do Sunday coffee on the Christmas meet up too but understand that family birthday weekends can be pretty busy.

*Poppy*- What a shame you are busy for the meet-up again. As Jules says, if your are free from the 21st and willing to get the train up here, it would be great to see you so let us know. I'm so excited for you and your adoption journey. You will be such a happy family with so much love to give. I hope you had a fab curry, we are very spoilt here in Birmingham as we have an amazing choice of good Indian restaurants. It does make it hard when you are watching your weight though!

*Chixy*- We are still with you when you need. Reading Becky's list of tests, I'm wandering if any of that can apply to you? I hope your consultation offers you some hope and answers. I know it must seem like they are willing to keep doing anything just because they want your money but they wouldn't tell you it's still possible if they didn't believe it. So much to consider. I really hope you are going to do some counselling so you can just let everything out and have a good chat about everything- don't keep it bottled up. Lots of love xxx

*Bexter-* Whoop Whoop for Xmas meet-up. It's going to be great to show you round the town. We'll need to do a fair bit of walking to burn off all the extra calories from the yummy food and drink! Good luck with the packing and the house move- exciting times! Then your huge list of 'To-Do' jobs starts- mine is still on-going!

*Hopeful-* where are you with things now? Still thinking of you.

*Tricia & Kazza*, I'm sending you best wishes too, all part of the FF Whippers family. I bet you are excited to consider the festive season with your new members of the family. Lots of love.

Have a lovely weekend folks. I'll keep you updated if there is any news.


----------



## tricia1012

Kirstie - I to had a scare when I was a few weeks pregnant I had a small amount of bright red bleeding so of course I panicked and booked a private scan . Everything was fine the doctor said it was completley normal just one of those things . Easier said then done I know but try not to worry . You don't want to go ott but you can always go for a reassurance scan between your routine scans if you ever just want to put your mind at ease there not that expensive . Enjoy your panto rehearsals so exciting that it's coming up to Christmas already  my fave time of the year xx

Sorry I can't make the meet up girls I don't have any set babysitter for the twins with both our family's living abroad  don't think my friends are brave enough to take on two babies lol and hubby will be at work . Would really have loved to meet up !


----------



## tricia1012

Just remembered you had two put back  this could be our third set of twin mini  whippers !


----------



## Lottie1802

Kirstie thanks for the message, it really is scary how quick it's flying! I too like Tricia had bleeds, in fact I had a few up to 30 weeks, and I think going through all this you won't truly believe it and relax until a baby is placed in your arms (and even then you think someone is playing a trick on you!) I found it very hard to enjoy pregnancy, I always had a 'it's too good to be true' feeling, but your doing the right thing by relaxing as much as you can, I was the same as Tricia and paid for private scans, the peace of mind is worth the money! I have everything crossed for your scan, let's hope there is two in there!!! I think twins are so magical when you've been through something like you, I think all of us go into this just desperate for one baby so to get two is just mind blowing. I thank my lucky stars every day ! I definitely thank them now they sleep through the night! Ha ha.

I'm praying with these couple of BFPs it's gonna snowball a mass of happy endings for all the whippers


----------



## K.Notman

Good afternoon whippers,
Just thought I'd pop on and let you know I've not had any more scares.  I'm sticking to my 3 pessaries a day (8hrs apart) and at each one I say a little prayer for them to snuggle in and grow.  I have gone a little Google mad today though (it's a slow work day!) and looked at doing HCG tests but it all seems pointless. My scan is Friday 30th which will be 7wk1day (if OTD is classed as 4wk?).  We have got the Mon-Fri at Centreparcs as a mini break (yes we booked it in the end and now I'm looking forward to it) but I'm wandering whether to phone the clinic to see if they can do the scan on the Monday morning before we go rather than Friday afternoon when we return.  That way I'll be able to relax and enjoy the holiday if its a good scan or I can really go for it and go mad with activities etc if it's a bad scan! But if they just cant hear it and say come back a week later, I'm another week in limbo.  What do you think guys?


----------



## jules418

Hi ladies 

Hope you are all well. All OK this end xxx

Kirstie, I would defo ask yes of they say no you are no worse off. Mums do an early scan for £85 think from 6wks they have a clinic on Mondays specifically early scan. Worth a phone call to see what they say.  Also look online as they sometimes do £15 off offers with a code. 

Peace of mind is worth the world xxxxx 

Jxx


----------



## Zana37

Hello lovely girls! 
I hope you remember me. So many times I tried to find this thread again and I couldn't. Yesterday I found out that I could actually look at my previous posts and then I could see your names there. Then I did some detective work  And searched for some of your names and voila! 
I am sooooo happy to know that there were good news for *Kirstie* and for *Jules*. I am honestly praying for you. There was such a special feeling in my heart when I started reading your posts... It took me like one year ago when most of us were all more or less in the process of starting IVF cycles.

Last I wrote I believe it was in February. I was in Austria and I misscaried while on vacation there. At least I knew it because the doctors had told me. But somehow I was still hopping til the very end for a miracle. It didn't happen... I decided to allow myself to recover in all levels, and the months went by very fast... 
I had a very busy summer though... Baking a lot of cakes  I have to send you a picture of my last one.
About two month ago I had some back pain that shifted to my left ovary. The doctors found out I had a 8,5cm cyst, edriometric cyst and they wanted to operate me in the same day. I was terrified. But some hours later the doctor that should operate me said she wouldn't do it. That she had read the log of my previous surgery where they cut me in several organs and she feared the same could happen again because my organs are all glued together around my uterus. They sent me to another hospital which is the most specialized in endometriosis in Denmark. They also feared the surgery and put me on the p-pill to see if it would help the cyst to decrease, and it did. The cyst disappeared but the doctors delivered me some not so good news.
I have what they call kissing ovaries, my ovaries are glued together against the uterus touching each other due to the edometriosis. Also, one side of my uterus has a rather larger wall due to endometriosis too which can make it difficult for the embryo to stick to the wall. My FSH number is 22 and my AMH 2,3 meaning that I have a very low reserve of eggs.
Monday I will go with these exams to my consultant at the fertility clinic to hear if they think that I should do one more attempt or if this will be the end of trying again for me. I am praying that they will have positive words for me  

P.S I wish I was living in England then I could meet you up for some tea and see that Christmas market you have been talking about since last year! I love Christmas markets!

*Poppy* I hear you are considering adoption, it is really nice and I admire you for not quitting on your dream to become a mother.

*Kirstie* do you still do theater? I am so happy for you! by the way, I should be going to the big cake thing happening in Birmingham in the beginning of November I had to change my plans due to another event. Next year...I will be there for sure!

*Bexter* how are you doing? Thank you so much for the messages back in February! I will catch up on that!

To all new mamas how is it going with the new members in the family?

Big kiss to you all


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## jules418

Hello ladies
A big hello to zana, it is so lovely to hear from you. I am glad you found us, more bookmark the thread x You have always been in our thoughts and we still have wondered about you all year. We have been sending our prayers to Denmark. 

Oh wow what a year you have had, very traumatic and emotional. In some ways it must be good to have some answers but at the same time upsetting to hear what they are xxx
Lovely to hear to are still doing your baking looking forward to seeing your creations.
Shame you are not here in November but I hope we get to meet you next year xx

Kirtsie, how are you hun? Hope you have a nice relaxing weekend ahead x

Better, fab news about the house can't wait to see it, very exciting and a new chapter in your life book xx 

Poppy, how are you? Any news from the adoption system, what happens next? How was your curry last weekend have you gotten back on the SW horse?

BeckyA, how are things in Spain, any news on your progression, 2 hours is a long way but it will be worth it, what is different between the nearest clinic and where you have been having to your state treatment?

Tricia, little, kazza, hope you are all week and your little munckins

Chixy, babe hope you are ok. Thinking of you every day xxx

Hopeful, how are you what's next?

Afm, I am ok getting stressed with work, down to just 1 deskside guy and me for min 2 weeks I asked for extra resource and it hasn't happened. I can't do much and am doing more than I should be. Feel very upset and unsupported at work right now. Apart from that I am well though and hope that Norman is developing nicely. I am getting rather big bump wise now. Considering paying for another scan. My next nhs one is when I will be 21+2 on 21st Nov. 

Any way love to you all

Jules xxxxxxxxx


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## K.Notman

Morning Ladies!
Zana- I replied to your post on the Christian thread- Yay you found us here!  We have been thinking got you and would love to keep supporting you. Yes I'm rehearsing Pantomime again.  It's good to have the fun in my life.

Jules- I hope work levels improve and you can get through this tricky time. "Keep calm and carry on" as they say. Looking forward to our next lunch and I can meet Norman!

Bexter- good luck with the house move.  I hope you don't have the same trouble as I did getting your internet back up and running!

AFM,
I called the hospital on Friday and managed to get my scan bought forward to Monday 26th so I can hopefully hear the heart-beat before our mini-break.  I'll be 6weeks 4days so really hoping this isn't too soon. At least they'll be able to check that things look ok and if I need to come back a week later than so be it.  I'm slightly reassured by noticing slight differences in by boobs at last, as up until now I've had no symptoms what so ever. All these hormones and mixing with my emotions- whats news there then!
Have a  good day all xxx


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## hopeful1985

Kirstie i had a heartbeat at 6w2d so im sure u will see it on doppler... too soon to hear it but u will def see  it. Exciting times xxx


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## poppy05

Good afternoon beauts   


Zana my lovely how wonderful to see you posting here, im so glad you found us, im so sorry to hear you have been having a tough time with the endo, and i hope and pray that you get the news you want and can have another try    welcome back sweetie   


Kirstie im really glad you have managed to get an earlier scan, it all sounds good though with the boobie changes    i cant wait to see a pic of your little bean or beans! i really do think you are going to have twins   


jules sorry you are stressed with work, i know its easier said than done but norman is your main concern, dont over do it, you can only do so much hun, sending bump rubs   


chixy how are you darling? i think of you often, sending love   


Bexter i see from ** you have moved finally! congratulations you must be over the moon to finally be in   


becky how are you my lovely girl?   


lottie and tricia hope those babies are doing well, i do love seeing their pics on **, i know they have all grown heaps but they still look so little, would love to get my hands on them for a cuddle!   


hopeful i hope you are ok sweetie?   


kazza hows you and lil man?   


AFM, wifeys birthday curry last week was amazing, it was sooooooo good to eat something naughty, i only put on a lb which i lost again this week so my weightloss is down to 26lb!!
we havent pursued anything with the adoption yet, im not sure the voluntary agency is the right one, you know when something doesnt sit quite right? so i have had an info pack sent through from the local authority, we need to go to one of their info sessions, but the 2 dates we gave we cant make, as its this week so too short notice with work, and next months we are on holiday, im not too bothered and am happy to wait until january, ive waited 20 years so another few weeks wont matter!


So what you guys doing for halloween? we are off to our friends party, 3 of us are going as cluedo characters, we decided that would be something different, they are all murderers, and we dont need to dress up in gory stuff! so im going as mrs peacock, vicki's going as mrs white and our friend is going as miss scarlett, he loves a bit of drag so it will be hilarious!! 
will post pics on **.


I better sign off now, my mums just arrived for sunday lunch.
lots of love to you all xxxx


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## Zana37

Good morning ladies!

So Monday I went to the fertility clinic with all the exams made at the hospital. Some good news and some bad news. Good news is that the consultant told me I can try again. From here on... Only bad news... 

My AMH was 2,3 so that means I have a very low reserv of eggs and my FSH of 22 meaning, the eggs I have are of bad quality ... Most of them so the tricky part will be to find the very few good ones.

At the hospital scan they found out that although the lining in my uterus was very ok, I have endometriosis in one of my uterurine walls. So that can make it very difficult for the embryo to burry and develop.

The consultant told me that the chances of me to get a successful pregnancy are of 8-12% only . If I get pregnant that only after the 6 month and 1 week they may consider that I am passed the dangerous period of miscarriage.

He told me there was nothing I could do to increase my chances, but if I want to go for it that I have to be very strong and bare in mind that it might never happen. Also, he told us that we should be open for 3 treatments more so they can at each cycle study ways to improve it by statistical comparisons on procedure/result. He does not advise more than 3 attempts and not for a period longer than 2 years.

He also told me about egg donation and on how recently a fertility clinic in Spain made an amazing discovery that when an embryo from a donated egg implants and develops in the lining there is transfer of genetic material from the mother to the fetus. It made me so happy to know that but still I don't feel that this is the way for me.

I cried loads of tears     ! I will make sure to eat and rest well. To be happy and in balance and try not to worry much. 
I feel that my faith is being put to test but I am choosing to BELIEVE. I have been praying about it and I feel I that I should try it again. At the end of the conversation the consultant told me:" Vanda don't cry. Focus in being strong and I will focus on finding the right egg!" It honestly helps me to know that he is a believer. And that he will pray for help to be sent from above. I am praying for him to be blessed with knowledge and enlightenment to know what the best procedure will be for me.
I am still in the p-pill and when my next period comes we will start the treatment if the cyst is still gone.
I will focus on being strong and faithful. There's not much beyond that I can do. It makes me feel so powerless but my God knows me and he knows my body from the day I was in my mother's womb. He know I would have to go through this and He wants me to be happy and He will find a way for that and He already knows what my path will be. Unfortunately I am just human. I cannot see my future and that makes it difficult for me to trust on His will for me at times. If only I could see the future.... Then maybe I would completely trust him with no fear! 
But life is not like that and I have to trust Him not knowing what the future will bring, and I choose to do it.    

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11


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## poppy05

Massive hugs zana   you are being very strong, and very brave, and as long as you have faith and the strength to believe in not givng up then you must continue your path, im a great believer in what ever is meant to be, and you must carry on trying if thats what you feel is meant to be, i know the odds you have been given are relatively low, however it is not impossible, and your consultant wouldnt let you go through anymore treatment if he thought you had zero chance, someone has to be in that 8-12% and i really hope and pray its you darling, we are with you every step of the way, and i know you have the courage to get through this, well done for being so positive, and for not giving up on your dream, i wish you all the luck in the world   


poppy xxxx


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## K.Notman

*Poppy*- Always wonderful to read your words of encouragement. It's good to hear of your experience with the adoption journey too. I agree that you have to feel that everything is right for you. Doing all the research and giving yourself time to think will help you make the right decision. 
Your Halloween party sounds great by the way! I love the alternative theme and the fact you can dress nicely! Well done on the Slimming World will-power. Happy and healthy for a great festive period.

*Zana*- You and I are so similar using our faith to help us through this. Who am I to question His way? I'm praying for all of my FF girls and hope that their journeys are not too painful. You sound like you have a lot of complications but I'm ever thankful of the amazing research and abilities of scientists that have led us to what can be achieved these days. I know I've not had any choice using donor eggs so have not been in the emotional situation some people have when choosing to end their journey with their own eggs. However, I am very encouraged in the latest research findings that talk of the biological links that can be passed onto babies through birth mother. So that DE babies can still be like their birth mother:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3259508/Scientists-hail-amazing-discovery-s-revealed-infertile-mothers-use-donor-eggs-pass-DNA-children.html
"How is your DE baby like you?"
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=331958.0
As Poppy said, someone has to be in that small percentage and it sounds like you have a very supportive clinic who are behind you if you want to keep trying. You will need to be strong and you have demonstrated that already but this is also a large financial commitment so a lot to think about. Good luck and lots of love xxx

*Hopeful* - Thank you for sharing your experience of your scan with me. I know each scan is another hurdle and there are no guarantees. Everything still seems so delicate. How are you chick? Any news?

*Jules*- Thanks for all of the support you've given me over text recently. This really is my support network to help me see reason when hormones kick in and I get the wobbles. Are you having any more scans between your 12 and 21 wk? Have you joined any of the other FF boards now for people at the same stage as you? I bet everything still seems surreal. Sending you hugs. Glad you can make it to brunch on the 6th December. I swear I have food on the brain at the moment!

*Lottie*- thanks for your message. I've hear the same things from a lot of people that you never really believe it until you are holding them and this really can sap the enjoyment and excitement. 9 months is a long time but I guess we have already invested 3 years in this so the end is in sight. You are right about the peace of mind from scans but I'd never do these DIY kits you can get. My sister-in-law had one but panicked more when they couldn't get it in the right place to detect a heart-beat. If I'm doing extra scans, I'd do them privately. I really am nervous/excited to find out if it might be twins. At least I have people to go to for advice! Xxx

*Tricia*- How are you my lovely? The offer to join us for Christmas Market is always there if you have any friends brave to take the challenge- maybe one at a time? Train links to Birmingham New Street are great&#8230;..!

*Becky*- any news since your last check-in or are you busy enjoying yourself?

*Chixy*- I echo what I said on Page 131 but know you are on a very emotional journey at the moment and the head-in-the-sand seems a tempting option. Just know we are here for you xxx

*Kazza*- Whats your latest news? It's been a while since you've popped on. Sending you hugs too.

AFM, well the days are dragging but I'm fine. I'm getting frustrated by my plummeting fitness- I get out of breath walking up stairs! And my increasing body size (not bump related!) through my lack of exercise but increase in calorie intake through pure lack of will-power. I'm trying to be healthy but then we'll have a take-away or Ralph will bring home cakes. I'm packing out meals with veggies to try to keep my fuller for longer. I know I have to keep activity levels to a minimum these first few weeks when everything is still so delicate. I know some people carry on their exercise routine but to have come this far and push it now just to fit into size 12 jeans is silly and I'd never forgive myself if anything happened. It doesn't help that I'm desk-bound all day and besides panto rehearsals I don't do a lot in the evenings. I think I need to do some walking and enjoy some of these glorious autumn views everywhere. I've been mooching around on FF and see so many signatures that reveal mcs at various scans before 12 weeks making this seem like such a difficult thing to succeed in. I'm am still chilled out and accepting of what may come but just feel so neutral about everything when I'm bursting to be happy about it all. So it's 4 more sleeps until the scan and then I can either relax (for a little!) or cope with bad news whilst on our break. So, until then, take care folks xxxxx


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## jules418

Zana, lovely to read your positivity and although I am not religious myself but I think the power of belief is huge and such a support when things out of control are happening xxx I wish you so much happiness and that this journey will have a happy ending. Like poppy said someone has to be in that percentage x

Poppy, ooo I really fancy a curry now ha ha. Good for you for going with your instincts and doing research and getting all the facts xxx 

Hopeful, any news with you hun? How you are well. 

Kirstie, it is hard to get through those 1st few weeks but make sure you rest and don't over do things, you have plenty of time for exercise after, all those pushchair baby classes they do in parks. 

Bexter, how are you settling into the house? House the oven was clean enough ha ha xxx 

Becky, how are things in Spain?

Afm, I am well, saw the midwife yesterday for my 16wk review although I was actually 17wks. She was really pleased blood pressure was fine pee was fine and then we got to listen to normans heart beat. Wow, it was hilarious sounded like he was beat boxing in there made me laugh although bob thought I was crying the weirdo lol. Any way Kirstie, I have always been the same mindset as you with regards to the gadgets etc especially the heart monitoring one..... Until yesterday.... So excited we were and we had seen a monitoring system in mothercare. So off we went bought it and had a mooch as you do, got home opened it and it needed one of those rectangle batteries arghhhhhh so we walked to the shop got back opened it up and read the instructions, which said..... For use from 28 weeks. Ha ha ha so 11 weeks early booooooo. We tried it yesterday anyway but not surprising couldn't hear anything.

Hope all is well love lots

Jules
Xxxxx


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## Bexter83

Hi ladies, just done personal hotspot to get onto here, as I haven't bookmarked from on my phone, will have wifi from 6th Nov. 
Sorry about the me post, I truly am thinking of you all and will be back on to read through properly and be a good friend and be there for you, have just been crazy busy and I had my other appointment where they requested more info and extra advice from Sam abdullah at the lister. It went exactly as I had expected really. I have only got 5 embryos collectively from 3 fresh cycles and all of v poor quality. The issues are my eggs and they feel I have v little chance of success with my eggs, obviously there is still that chance, like anything but we have spent lots of money on this already and more so the emotional side of it, not just during the cycle but for me it's the constant niggle in my head through everything I eat, the guilt after drinking and I just want to be able to be in a place where I can enjoy other people's babies and children and to really be ok with it. The DH is not open to DE and I'm v grateful that I feel I could enjoy and embrace life without the gift of a child. So now we are out of the game and said that if ever in the future I feel I want to go again than yes I will but now and probably for a long time I'm accepting that this is not the life planned for the DH and myself. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted tbh, like I can get on with my life now. I'm really glad I have made such amazing friends and that we have contact and a friendship outside of the fertility bubble and I want to support you all but I may not be on here as much.

Love to you all xxxxxx


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## poppy05

Bexter my lovely lovely girl, your post actually made me cry, your words sound very much like me, i know i have made the decision to move onto adoption now, but that wasnt without alot of counselling, talking to dw, thinking, researching, and understanding my own feelings, like you i feel we could have a wonderful life without children, so if things dont work out i  know we will be ok, and i can so relate to you feeling like a weight has been lifted, im so so relieved i wont have to go through another cycle of ivf, and i sincerely have closed the door on all aspects of a biological child.
I am so very sorry for you that you have had this outcome, but im very proud of you for being so strong and able to consider a different life path, none of us know what the future holds, but you are a beautiful person inside and out and you deserve the very best life has to offer.
Make some plans for you and dh, have nice things to look forward to, thats helped me in my healing process, ive made sure we have had things to do, to have things to look forward to, it really is surprising at how ok you feel with stuff once you make some decisions, wheather it be to move on or put things on hold, there will always be moments of 'why me' but ive decided that my 'why me' is because i am destined for something else, something im yet to know, we just have to look forward to what lies in store.
Sending you hugs babe    you have my number, if ever you need me just call/text


Love poppy xxx


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## K.Notman

Hello all, just a quick on from me to let you all know we saw the heartbeat today!  We have only got the one in there but what is there looks perfect- a proper little bean. Now to wait an age until the 12 week scan beginning of December and then we can start telling people.  Such  sigh of relief!
Thank you all for your love and support xxxxx


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## hopeful1985

Fabulous news Kirstie!! Now enjoy your mini break!!!

AFM we just celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary. Spoke to doctors who didnt say much. Will be having a laparoscopy to double check everything and will start again in new year. Thank you for all your messages. I have been rubbish keeping in touch. Will try better. Hope the rest of u are well xxxxxx


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## jules418

Well done Kirstie, so so so pleased for you and Ralph, now you can relax on your centre parks break and be happy. Just make sure you take it easy!!!! 

Hopeful, congratulations on your wedding anniversary, i remember the run up to it last year. Has it gone quickly? Be nice to start again next year fully enjoy Christmas 🎅 and the drinks that make it merry he he he or ho ho ho lol. 

Bexter, you are such a lovely person and i know you have been in this mindset a while and feel it a kind of relief even though still upsetting that you can now focus on the future and like you say you may want to try again in a few years. Looking forward to giving cuddles in a few weeks time xxx 

Poppy, how are you hun, bet you are getting busy at work now have you had any weird Halloween hair requests lol

Zana, how are you doing?

Afm I am good super busy at work which is good but I am sooo tired when I get home I am thing to bed after dinner so nothing is getting done (nesting wise as bob does the house work lol) I haven't joined any other forms. Would feel I was cheating on you all ha ha. No am just wary really as there are some really anxious people on here and I don't want to pick up on it and stop enjoying it. Plus I love you crazy lot too much ha ha

Jules
Xxxxx


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## poppy05

Evening gang


Kirstie, your text this morning put a smile on my face for the whole day! so so happy for you both, you deserve this so much and you are going to be the most fantastic mummy   you are going to have such a happy celebration this christmas with everyone making a fuss over you and baby N! 
congratulations again sweetie, have a fab break at centre parcs, take it easy though missus!   


hopeful, wow happy anniversary hunni, i too remember your wedding last year, and it has flown by, glad you have some plans for your next cycle in the new year, we are right behind you darling   


jules, i know what you mean regarding other boards on here, the pregnancy area can be a bit full on at times, people get a scare and just post without considering others feelings, its a bit of a headache at times for us mods, im glad its not my area! 
Work is crazy busy at mo, we have a colour sale, twice a year for two weeks and this is our second week, clients get half price colour with full price cut, so its manic, plus its my last week before i go on holiday, so all my clients are getting in before i disappear for two weeks! not had any halloween requests as yet, im hoping sat wont be to hectic (yeah right) i dont want achey feet for the party sat night im wearing heels! plus i need to get someone to beehive my hair!!    
monday is my day off so its full steam ahead from tomorrow, but least i get the reward of two weeks in the sun next week! and boy do i need it, i cant flipping wait to get on that plane, stick two fingers up to the rubbish year we've had, and go relax on a sunbed with a book and a cocktail! 
Hows norman? whens your next scan?   


Hi to everyone else hope you're all ok xxx


AFM, im 2lb off my 2 stone target for holiday!!! and ive just had bloody pizza!!!!    we had such a busy day sorting the house out and cleaning neither of us could be bothered to cook! haha oh well i didnt have lunch today so it is the only thing ive eaten! and no im not starving myself, ive had really bad af pains today and didnt fancy anything   
will pop on again before i go away next week, lots of love to you all xxxx


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## tricia1012

Hello ladies , 

Kirstie - congrats again Hun I'm so happy for you , have a lovely break away with hubby x

Jules - rest as much as you can I used to be shattered after work and still try and do stuff ! Lesson learnt I wouldn't do that again if I was ever lucky enough to be pregnant again x 

Poppy - well done you've done fab on the weight loss  enjoy your hol and break from work sounds like you've been busy x

Hopeful - happy anniversary wow that year went quick ! Hope your ok x

Becky - how are you ? X

Bexter - I'm sorry to read it wasn't the news you wanted this can be such a cruel journey to go on . But your right enjoy life you've got a great partner and a lovely new home to enjoy . It's so easy to let this process take over your life . Your an amazing women and deserve nothing but happiness . I'm always here if you need a chat xx 

Lottie - I know were in touch but I wouldn't leave you out 😉 hope those gorgeous girlies are behaving for there mummy  xx

Kazza - hope your enjoying your hol I'm very jealous !! Hope little man is good  xx

Hi to anyone I've missed x


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## Zana37

Hi Girls!!

I have been with a cold the past week so trying to rest for a while and recover soon. If all goes well I should start the new cycle sometime in the beginning of November. I am now working in a new cake project that is actually a bit more difficult than what I initially thought 

*Poppy* I so hope to be within the 8-12 % statistic! Let's see what the future will bring 
Where are you going on your vacation?

*Kirstie* I am soon happy for you. I am also praying all will continue to go well. Each scanning will be like a milestone to conquer!

*Jules * I am also praying and hoping for the best for you! I wish all of us one day will be able to meet up and actually get to know and hold these little ones made in the Walnut Wispers Forum 

*Bexter* I so understand how you feel. My hubby is always telling me to appreciate what I already have in life and yes I have been blessed with a lot already. Even though I plan on a few more attempts before closing this chapter I know that i am ready to do it when the time comes. Then instead of a nursery I will make of out extra bedroom a walk in closet  
Seriously, parte of me wants to be done with this and finally enjoy life without wondering if the next treatment will make me pregnant or if the next pregnancy will not end in a miscarriage. I will be better to think if I will need more room for shoes...  No I am not vain, i am just tired of needles, injections, scannings, and tears and pain and suffering. I want to live life free of that!

Any special plans for the weekend?

Kisses to all


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## hopeful1985

Hows everyone doing? Xx


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## jules418

Hi ladies
Hpeful how are you? What is new with you and your journey? have you had your laparoscopy yet? 

Zana - I would love to do a mass FF meet up would be great to meet everyone face to face (maybe a cheeky wine) - love your idea of a walk in wardrobe but hopefully the room will be decorated for other reasons so don't get buying too many shoes just yet  

Tricia - how are things with you and the bambinos? Oh if only I would listen to your advice, I am getting tireder by the day but still pushing to do more as feel lazy haa haa. 

Poppy - are you back here safe and sound now? How was your holiday hope it was relaxing even with all the events that have happened. Now for he xmas hair rush  

Kirstie - how are things progressing for you hun? When is your 12 wk scan? 

Bexter - how is your house coming along I assume all boxes are emptied everything has it's home and is ***** and span (I still have items boxed and we moved 8 years ago!!!) 

Lottie & Kazza - how are things with you both, love seeing your pics on ** xxx

AFM - I am sooooooooooooooooo tired I just want to sleep all the time haa haa. Apart from that I am well getting glowing compliments which i nice I as I feel I look like poop. 
Spent the weekend de cluttering. My mom came over for the duration to keep me in line and get me organised and wow she did just that we did loads (still loads to do I am a horder) but we cleared out the box room and pretty much cleared out what will be the nursery. So just need to sort the remainder out and then we have downstairs to go through arghhhhh of and the garden to finish (although that will be a jan/feb job for bob and dad). 
We have out next scan on Sat at 9.30, I shall be 21+2 at that point and I can't wait for confirmation that he/she is ok I feel a bit anxious at the moment but I guess that is normal especially after wanting and waiting for this for so long. We still haven't bought anything (well apart from some mini converse shoes and some slippers) but assuming everything goes to plan will get it all in January sales. 

Hope everyone is well and getting ready for Christmas

Love

Jules
xxxx


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## K.Notman

Hi Whippers! Quick chance for an update.

*Jules*, It was so lovely to meet up for our carvery the other day. Pity we drank the place dry of the sparkling elderflower and Pomegranate presse! Gosh it sounds exciting starting prep for the nursery. It is a good chance for a clear out and sort the 'nest'! I can understand holding off the purchases and benefitting from January sales sounds like a good plan. I hope you are balancing work and rest so you are looking after yourself.

*Zana*- How is the cold sweetheart? All cleared up I hope. You mentioned starting your cycle this month- what stage are you at? What are they planning on doing differently this time? I'm praying for you too honey.

*Tricia, Kazza, Lottie*- How are our Whipper Mum's getting on? I'm loving the adorable pics on **.

*Poppy*- I'm glad you made it back from Sharm ok. Shame the weather is so awful to come back to! I hope it was a good break for you as you'd been looking forward to it so much. Now to get excited about the festive season and have some fun. Unfortunately that makes you busy at work but I guess it makes the shifts go quicker.

*Hopeful*- belated Happy Anniversary! How was laparoscopy? Any news? Thinking of you xxx

*Bexter*- I know we've spoken about FF stuff but I'm always thinking of you and sending you my squishy hugs! Can't wait to catch up at the Christmas market. I just really hope it doesn't rain and spoil it. I'm sure we can take rescue in a coffee shop and nip round the stalls when we can. There are some lovely gifts (and food!) but all a bit pricey so it's a case of if you see something you really want you might have to treat yourself!

*Becky*- How is it going over in Spain? Any more news on when things might start happening for you or is it all on the back-burner? I'm constantly thinking of you with my 'don't worry bout a ting' bracelet and it makes me relax when I feel I'm getting anxious- Thank you!

*Chixy* my sweet- How are you? I know everything FF still hurts so I'm not sure how often you check in but please know that you are often in my thoughts. Big hugs xxxx

*AFM*, Well we paid for a private scan last Thursday (week 9) and everything was as it should be. We heard the heart-beat this time too. Again, it was so worth the money just to have that reassurance.

If you remember me saying all the trouble I've had with my GP on the past, I bit the bullet and decided to change. So I registered with a new one last week that is closer and looks better (not that you know until you've tried it!). Unfortunately I have to wait until I've seen a GP until my registration is complete and that appointment is 1st December. They won't book my midwife appointments until I'm registered (grrrrr!) and I'll be 11wk+5 then so due my 12week scan that week. I really hope I'll be able to get one then as I'll be ready for another bit of reassurance by then! Oh well, let's have faith that this is going to be a better practice and all will be well. I'm waiting until I've had that scan until we start telling people the news.

My close family and friends already know but we have a larger family Christmas meal on the 13th December and would love to tell people then. Like Jules, we are really going to hold off buying anything until last minute, however I've had some offers of 'hand-me-downs' and maternity wear so I'll accept those. Due to my complete lack of exercise over the last 4 months (no running or karate) I've put the weight on a bit and I'm not talking of the bump! I feel guilty about the weight gain having controlled my weight for so long but now I have a bigger priority. I have had to have a good talking to myself to say not to worry as this is what I've been working towards for so long- doing an exercise DVD just to fit into size 12's is really not worth it! Yes my Panto costume for being a belly-dancer in January will be a squeeze but they've already told me I can wear something else if it comes to it!

Anyway, best be off. Love to all xxxxxxxxxxx


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## hopeful1985

Aw lovely to hear from the bump twins Kirstie and Jules! I think I will call you that from now on hehehe!

So glad it is all going smoothly for you and you are enjoying your pregnancies! Makes me smile when I read your updates! Kirstie loving the pregnant belly dancer at panto! The bump will add to the performance! Jules I hope nursery planning goes well. It seems that baby converses are a must have purchase for all the expectant mothers I know (4 of my 7 cousins have now had their babies, 3 more to go).

I am doing good. I am booked in for Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy and womb scrape (all at the same time) on 8th December so just waiting for that. Doctor doesn't think it will show anything but just a case of ticking something else off the list really. Doctor can't see any reason why the past cycles have failed and its our favourite line ladies..." there is no reason, just bad luck' ahh oh well maybe my luck will change with next cycle in new year? I have been given the choice of artificial insemination or ICSI again, keep weighing up the cost versus success rates

At the moment I am focussing on our first house that we are currently in the process of buying - should exchange next week and complete the week after on my big 30th birthday! 

Still very much have my down days and when my due date arrived it was a sad day but I am determined to not think about it and look forward to one thing at a time, makes it easier.

It also makes it easier hearing about how you girls are getting on.

Mucho Love

Ciara AKA Hopeful


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## jules418

hee hee I like that nickname hopeful  

Glad to hear you are doing well and you have a date for your 'oscopies' good they are doing them all at once I can't imagine you would want to have that area poked on 3 different occasions (well not by medics anyway haa haa) It is super frustrating when there is no reason why at least if there is a reason you can go ahhh ok that's why.... 

Oooooo new house - lots of FF moves in 2015 what's it like? and a BIG birthday too what day is your birthday? My sister is 40 on 1st Dec we are going for afternoon tea in the afternoon(duhh) and then a meal in the evening and cocktails (mocktails for me) so should be a good but long day. it is all in Birmingham but I may pop home in-between for a dress change and to get the car - don't like paying for a cab when I can drive haa haa. 
What are you doing to celebrate? 

You know where we are when you have your down days hun (and your up days) the due date is a hard one as there are so many emotions going through. When Mrs_F had her beautiful daughter I felt so sad and empty as we had EC on same day I felt that day would have also been my day but when my actual due daye came I didn't realise I guess as I had already had the sadness and emptiness the week before. My mom called me up and was asking how I was etc and I was like yeah fine what you going on about then it triggered and I was like ohhhhhhh but explained I was fine and the week before I wasn't great. she also rand me the anniversary of my 1st MC bless her. 

It will be 1 year from last years MC on Sat which is weird cos have the scan on that day - maybe why I am feeling so anxious. 

But yes you have so much to look forward to, new house, birthday and Christmas get those procedures out the way and look forward to 2016!!!! 

Kirstie - hope you get in for your 12wk ok, will you have a private one if they can't get you in? Will you go to Redditch or is it defo BW? How are the panto rehearsals going? Belly dancers are supposed to have belly to wiggle that is traditional so a good excuse for more mince pies hee hee. 

Jules
xxxx


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## K.Notman

Morning!
Good to hear from you Hopeful.  Good luck with the house move and have a great birthday!  It sounds like you have a good attitude going into these investigations- ticking things off.  There are so many different factors and what works for some people, doesn’t for others.  So the next cycle has every possibility of working.  I’m just still so thankful for all the research and development that has gone into fertility over the last 10yrs+, helping many of us get to where we want to be. I’m hoping that the next time is the winning formula for you too.
I completely understand about the down days too.  It can take the smallest trigger to get you thinking.  Accepting the past can be so difficult.  I think that’s why I protect myself from the very beginning by saying “what will be will be” and not getting too excited.  I still feel that this can all be taken away from us at any moment.  Having said that, I’m not all doom and gloom, I just wake up thankful and optimistic each day and take it one day at a time.  We are used to the waiting game in the fertility world and this is just lots of waits between scans.

Jules, I’m going to push to get 12wk scan through the GP as there is no reason why I should have to pay for private when I’m entitled to it.  I just have to get my forceful stroppy pregnant attitude out rather than sitting back being forgotten. Will phone them today.  As for the hospital, well you may have hear that the Redditch Alexander hospital has been threatened with closure for the last few years, there are lots of petitions and rallies about it.  Well a shock report in the paper the other week said they were transferring the maternity services to Worcester- and within 7 days that’s what they did!  Where we live is slap bang in the middle between Worcester and Birmingham Women’s so we’ve decided that as all of my fertility tx was through BWH, we’ll rather go there. When I eventually get to see a midwife, we’ll talk it through with them.

Panto rehearsals are going well. The dance routines are more interesting this year and the music more current.  We are doing performances over 3 weekends Jan/Feb which gives us lots of opportunities to raise money for the charities.  I’ve really no idea how big I’ll be then but I’m trying to resist the over eating.  It’s always so hard when we have Christmas just before!

Lots of love


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## BeckyA

Hello lovely ladies, sorry been awol...needed a break from infertility stuff for a while. Doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about you all and sending best wishes your way...anyway I am friends with most of you on ** so i can see what you are up to anyway. 

*kirstie*, still so happy for you that you got your bfp, and now you have had 2 scans. Lovely. Really hope you get to have your 12 week scan on time and your gp change goes ok.

*jules*, loved your scan pic of Norman..it was so clear! You must be over the moon. Did you find out the sex or are you gonna wait for the surprise?

*hopeful*, wishing you lots of luck for your multiple interventions...hope nothing comes up of note and then as you said they can just tick that off. Good luck with your house move, and have a ball on your 30th!! I too will be cycling again next year, here is hoping 2016 is our year!! 

*zana*, hope you are well, have you started cycling again yet?

Sending much love to the yummy mummies *lottie*, *tricia* and *kazza*...hope you are all looking forward to babies' first xmas...how lovely!

*bexster*, we have already spoken, but sending you a big hug anyways!

*poppy*, so glad you made it back from sharm....looks like you had a good hols despite...and your tan looks great!!

AFM, well, we got our bloods analysis test results back, and we are "normal" (officially!) Although I have slight deficiency in vitamin D (wtf? I live in Spain, man!), and raised levels of prolactin. Neither of which would affect outcome of ivf they said, although according to mr google the latter can affect TTC in the traditional way as it can stop ovulation. Anyway, they have prescribed me some pills to reduce level of prolactin, and also a vitamin d liquid to take twice a month, and i have to have more blood taken in 2 months time to see if prolactin has reduced. So, basically they said it was just bad luck it hasn't worked (we are in the 70% that doesn't take, as only a 30% chance anyway).
We are gonna visit some of the local private clinics next month and then look to cycle again in jan or feb I think.


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## poppy05

Hey gorgeous girls


Sorry i've not been about, this is the first chance ive had to sit and post since my holiday.


BeckyA,Hi gorgeous,  glad your bloods came back ok, i did giggle at the vit d thing though!    exciting you're going to be cycling again in the new year   


Hopeful, hello my my lovely,  what a pretty name you have! Ciara is really lovely    good luck for the 8th, will be thinking of you darling.


Kirstie, how are you my lovely girl? i can't believe you will be 11W this week!    how are panto rehearsals going?   


Jules, and how are you my beauty? you looked totes gorgeous in the pic you posted on ** last week, norman def has a yummy mummy!!   


Bexter, hey beautiful girl, hows things with you? hows the house?   


Charlotte and tricia, hi gorgeous mummies, how are those twinnies? tricia your 2 are so like you!   


Kazza, hiya babes, hope you and lil man are well?   


Chixy, hello sweetheart, dont know if you still pop in? but wanted to send my love, hope you're ok lovely   


AFM, well my holiday was interesting wasn't it!!!    it could only happen to me, not in the country for even 12 hours and all flights suspended!!! haha tbh it was ok, we had a nice enough time, it just became very quiet very quickly over there, so by week 2 the hotel was dead, daytimes were fine but night times were really boring, there was no atmosphere, glad we made some friends so at least we had a bit of conversation over a few drinks! 


So we have had some news in our family, our sister in law is expecting! (vicki's brothers wife) they announced the news last week, it turns out they had 2 cycles of ivf! and they are expecting twins! 
It was a hard pill to swallow hearing the news, but of course we are happy for them, you just can't help but wish it was you can you? vicki took it quite badly as she so desperately wanted to give the first grandchild, but like i said, it doesnt matter, we will get our time and we will give the baby of the family    it is hard to be 100% happy, but feeling jealous just makes it a whole lot worse, im sure in a week or two we will be ok, and i really am excited to be an auntie, i dont have any nieces or nephews, its all friends children who call me auntie, so it will be nice to be a real auntie   


We have been discussing our adoption journey recently, and we have decided we think we would like to look into foster to adopt, we feel it would be our only chance of getting a baby, i know i could adopt a toddler but i think i would still yearn for a baby, if you foster to adopt although there is still a chance of the child being placed back with the birth family, it would actually be us who would be granted adoption, the child wouldnt be taken from us and placed with another adoptive family, we have been booked into an information evening with our local authority on 7th jan, we decided the voluntary agency wasn't for us, so we can now get on and enjoy christmas, and next year really focus on this next chapter in our lives.


sending much love to you all
poppy xxx


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## hopeful1985

Hey Poppy, glad you are home safe and sound.

Just a quickie from me, I got called in for a cancellation and had all my procedures on thurs. Im ok, bit drugged up but healing xx


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## BeckyA

Hi all....bit quiet on this thread now. . Sending you all lots of love!!

*hopeful*, hope you are recovering well from your ops. Any news on when you are starting again?

*poppy*, i know how you feel about family members and pregnancy announcements...it is like a double edged sword. You are really happy for them, but also screaming inside why isn't it me! I have had 3 of them since TTC!! Wishing you the best of luck on your adoption journey, sounds like you are going the best way forward to get your baby.

AFM, we have been for our second visit to a private clinic this morning (Manzanera clinic in La Rioja if you wanted to google it!) And we are all set to go with an IVF cycle in January with them!! They have studied our history and are making a few tweaks from what we have done before, namely:
- slightly different drugs for ovary stimulation (but also using what we have left over) - puregon and decapeptyl
- I have to take small dose of testosterone (don't laugh!)
- also small dose of aspirin
- using embryoscope
- waiting until embryos are 5 days old (blastocyst) before transfer
We also have to get some up to date blood tests as some of the ones we have are from 2012, but we can do those through our doctor. I also have to go back in 2 weeks to do a mock transfer. They did one today and it took him a couple of tries, so he wants another practice just to make sure!!

We are very happy with how the clinic is set up, and also how they are, so fingers crossed this will be the one!


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## Zana37

Hello all 

It has been a while since I wrote and I am so sorry for that, but I have been soon busy. First it was that cake that turned out to be even more complicated than expected and then I've got an email from a guy working in a Bank I had applied some month before but didn't get the job. I will in another post tell you more about this as it is part of this miracle happening right now in my life. Anyways... so I started my treatment early in November, it was the short protocol. We did basically the same as my last treatment when I got pregnant but we increased a bit the Menoupor. We did 400ml daily for a week or so with Orgalutran 25ml. I also did acupuncture and I took some pills for 5 days to make my immune system not fight the egg after the transfer. I was very disappointed with the result. I only had one single egg retrieved, which is not so good. Usually I have 3 or 2. Anyway, it was a perfect egg according to them, and the best I had so far. I honestly didn't expect that the egg would fertilise, but against all odds I had the egg transfer on the 23rd of November and during that period of time I was also going to job interviews. It was a bit overwhelming I must confess. So much in my head . The good thing was that this time the two weeks waiting went really fast. First round of interviews and second interviews with tests were in the first weeks of the treatment. I spent days preparing for the tests, Logic, Numeric and verbal tests, plus the personality one. 2 Hours of tests...I was getting crazy The second waiting week which was last week, I headed to Lisbon to visit my family and celebrate my 39th birthday on the 30st of November. So the day after my Bday on the first of December I was called by the company and they told me I was hired!!! It was so nice!. Almost 3 years applying for jobs and finally the great opportunity came. I will work for the second biggest bank in Denmark, which is the biggest bank of Scandinavia. The job is great with amazing opportunities to grow. I am signing and sending back the contract today  . I must say that I started to believe that I couldn't get any luckier, however two days ago, after being back from a wonderful one week vacation with warm weather and sun, I got a positive pregnancy test.  I still can't believe. And no I am not lucky but blessed   . I am still trying to hold myself back! I have been through this two times before as you know and have miscarried. I am praying this time will be it! But so much is against me... the doctor who was leading the treatment at the clinic called me last night to congratulate me. He was so happy for me. I told him that one part of me is extremely happy but another is terrified. I told him I am trying to live my life normally and not to stress out with fear. He was very understanding. My first scanning will be on the 30st of December and he will be the one doing it. I am so afraid as the other times it was in the first scanning I was informed something wasn't right! *Poppy* I really hope I will be one making part of the 8-12% success rate for those in my condition. 
Other than that I am really looking to the new year when I will start working in the new company on the 11th of January. So new job... and maybe a new baby for next year  Couldn't be happier!

Girls tell me something, I am feeling quiet bad about the work. As if I am not being very honest... I am pregnant and they would probably never hire me if they knew. I have to really keep myself under the radar for the next 3 month once I start because it is the trial period and they can give any excuse to fire me. I hope for a healthy pregnancy this time but I wonder If I will be able to hide it until the end of April 
I have considered to tell them before I would sign the contract but my husband told me this would be to shoot myself on the foot. What do you think?

*Kirstie* How are you feeling? You know, here in Denmark you can do as many scans as you wish until the 12th week. Afterwards, not. Only the ones advised by the doctor.

*BeckyA* It is really nice to hear from you. You know that Spain is among the top countries if not the top one when it comes to fertility. I hope it will work for you. I only had a 2day transfer but it work, however, I always hear that 5day t. eggs have higher success rate.

I hope all is well with all of you and I will keep myself busy preparing for the new job (options and derivatives). I am continuing with my training and some yoga. I spoke to the doctor about it yesterday and he taught it was OK, though I am very carefull.

big  to all of you and talk to you soon!


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## K.Notman

Good afternoon all!

Zana- your news is FANTASTIC!      I’m so so happy for you and beaming from ear to ear. I know this journey has many hurdles but you have crossed a big one getting the  !  CONGRATULATIONS on the job offer too.  I think you should wait as long as possible to tell them.  You can hide it quite easily with the right clothing for a while anyway so knuckle down and pass that probation. Wow, so much to look forward to.  I know we both share a bond by feeling blessed with God’s work and taking every day as it comes, trusting in Him and His plan.  I know it is no guarantee but it does make it easier having faith through all of this to cope with whatever comes  .  God bless you and your family!

Becky- January is going to be a fantastic chance for you to start the new year with optimism.  Sounds like your clinic are really clued up and you are throwing everything at this. I hope you have an amazing Christmas, really celebrating everything and making the most of freedom without medication and restrictions (I’m missing my Vin Rouge!). I hope you keep up posted on here throughout your cycle as I check the board regularly and offer you all my support.  All my Bob Marley vibes will be going your way Mon! 

Hopeful- great that you got your cancellation and seen early for your Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy and womb scrape.  How are you feeling now?   How long do you have to wait for results/consultation to plan next treatment?  I really hope it’s positive news and they have a plan to get you going soon.  How was the house sale/move?  It seems there have been a few of us in the move this year- “new house new baby!”.  Is the new house your ‘forever home’?  I really hate moving so am so glad we are in our home now and have many years ahead God willing!

Poppy- I’m really excited about your fostering/adoption journey.  It must be a minefield of information and a lot to take in.  But then you are used to that with the amount you’ve taken in over the years.  I’m sure whichever route you chose, you’ll have the family you desire and deserve soon. 2016 is very exciting for a lot of us!  

Jules- lovely to meet for brunch the other day and hear all of your news.  I hope your maternity cover trainee is good and easy for you to work with (but not too good that they still want you back!  ). Sending you more hugs  xxxx 

Bexter- Our Christmas Market meet up was FANTASTIC!  We really are two peas in a pod- love it!  Can talk to you for hours- bless, Ralph couldn’t get a word in edgeways ha ha ha ha    !  The pictures of your new home look AMAZING!  I can’t wait for you to host our next Whippers meet-up! Perfect house for entertaining and you are going to have so much fun trimming it for Christmas- I want to see pictures for the virtual tour of that too!

Chixy- Always thinking of you hun. We are always here for you and would love for you to say “hello” xxxxxx  

Kazza, Lottie & Tricia- How are the Christmas preparations going?  I bet it’s such an exciting time for you (although probably quite exhausting too!) At least you guys can drink this year!  

AFM, well it was scan day today! I’m delighted to tell you that everything is as it should be  .  One healthy not-so-little bean! They couldn’t quite get the scan in the right position to do the Downs test but we’ll do the blood test screening when the time comes. It was such a relief as I’ve had ZERO symptoms  !  It really is as I if dreamt the whole pregnancy thing as I don’t feel any different.  So seeing that little being in there (who waved to us!) was so reassuring.  We can now start telling people, starting with my Dad’s side of the family at our annual Christmas meal this Sunday- quite exciting! We’ll be signing Christmas cards with “+bump” too!  I know we still have a long way to go but this is a big hurdle- it’s 13 weeks today.  They’ve dated us as due 12th June but we’ll see.  I might actually start believing that I’m pregnant now!

I have the community midwife home visit on Tuesday and then I guess the ball starts rolling.  I feel so lost at all this.  Luckily we have friends who are all recent Mum’s or currently pregnant who I can go to for advice and some have offered maternity clothes (I’ll be needing them to cover Christmas eating as I won’t be drinking this year! Lol! ).  No, joking aside, I’m still healthy and keeping up with routines- although karate is purely instructing now.  Panto dance rehearsals are plenty of exercise!  The show is coming on and will be good hearted entertainment as usual.  We’ve draughted in a few new younger members (average age before was late 40’s!) so it’s more fun.

Anyway, I’m still beaming from Zana’s news! Love to you all, until the next update xxxxxxxxxxx


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## K.Notman

Morning all!
We had a lovely weekend catching up with friends who came for a meal on Saturday and with family at our annual Christmas get together. We'd planned to 'reveal' our wonderful pregnancy news when everyone was there together. The family have known about our IVF journey over the years but not about the last cycle. Well...... we all got seated at the tables in the restaurant (about 28 of us) and my cousin wanted to take a big group photo before we settled into opening crackers etc. So stood in the corner was the "1..2.." and before 3, he announced that he and his new wife (married this April) are pregnant! Everyone was cheering and congratulating so I ended up just tagging on the end "well that makes two of us then" as I held up a large photocopy of Thursday's scan picture! So a bit of an anticlimax with them stealing our thunder but everyone was congratulating us and lots of hugs all round. We are really happy for them but obviously a little annoyed and jealous to be honest. They decided to come off the pill in August but weren't specifically trying- were just going to see what happened over the next year so were a bit surprised it happened so quickly. They have their 12 week scan this Friday (We thought they were a bit early telling people as we'd wait until after the scan but I suppose they don't have any complications so should be plain sailing). 
Oh well!  The rest of family friends will be receiving their postal Christmas cards today in which we shared the news so I'm wandering if any of them will get in touch- We had one congratulations message this morning.  Still seems a bit surreal though.

Anyway, I hope you all had a lovely weekend and are getting more and more festive by the day!  Have a good week xxxxxx


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## jules418

Hi all, 

Hope all is well  

Zana - fantastic news hunni, I know it is still early on and you must be very apprehensive but stay positive and focus on the new job. I have to be honest and say that apprehension doesn't fade as the weeks tick by new worries flutter to the surface but at the same time it is a magical journey. I definitely wouldn't say anything at work until you have to. You have waited so long for everything to fall in to place and you don't want the new role to be about 'the pregnant lady' you have much more to offer them than that, plus you don't need the stress. You will do amazingly they will love you then when you do say they wont be anything but supportive. I didn't tell my work until I had finished my 6 month probation and the form had been signed... I know they can't in the UK get rid of me for being pregnant but didn't want any excuses to pop up.... you never know but then I am ace at my job haa haa (BIG HEAD ALERT) BUT WOOOO HOOOOOOOO FOR BFP Super super happy for you and DH xxxxx 

Kirstie - Oh hunni, talk about pooping on your parade hun!!!! I am sure that everyone was excited about both sets of news and hey now you have a family member going through the same things as you at a similar time frame (of course you still have me and we are only 10 ish weeks apart) Just goes to show life is full of ups and downs and they probably though oh great no one will care about our news as K and R are having a miracle baby. Glad you had a lovely weekend though. 
You have the midwife tomorrow don't you that will be nice (and long) 

Poppy - how are you hunni, lovely news about the adoption/fostering. I know there is that chance of the child going back to birth parents but even if that did happen they do give you training to deal with that and also the knowledge to know that you have made a positive impact of that child life is overwhelming. Fostering is something I wouldn't rule out in the future. I like to think that Bob and I have a solid foundation for love respect and morals and would love to be able to nuture a child no matter what age circumstance etc and hope that they would know they are loved and safe whilst being given a option of life roads. 
Lovely news about your SIL expecting, although totally understandable that it hurts to hear it but lovely to be able to share in their journey. 

BeckyA - Lovely to hear from you. Not long now for your new year journey. Positive news so far, good to try an alternative process and love the fact that he has done a mock transfer on you - forgive me if I am wrong but am I correct in thinking that your transfers are not straight forward? I have all my fingers and toes crossed (very uncomfortable may I add especially to walk lol) I also have my special wish bracelet on which holds wishes for all of you lovely ladies. When are you back in the UK? 

Hopeful - wonderful to hear you managed to get in early for your procedures. Did you have a lovely birthday was it a big one - I think it was..... what did you do? 
So what happens now when do you get your results for the procedures? are you all set for Christmas now?

Bexter - lovely to see you (and Kirstie and Ralph) the other weekend for brunch and a catch up. How was your trip to prague? 

Chixy - not sure if you are still coming on but miss you hun - sending cuddles xxxx 

Kazza, lottie, tricia - hope you are all well and getting ready to enjoy Christmas with your new additions. Loving the ** pics ladies you are all looking like hot mommas  

AFM - I am well. 25 weeks on Thursday can't believe it... still doesn't seem real and I forget that I am not fat and it is actually a baby when I try and breath in and squeeze through gaps haa haa. He has started kicking recently right down by my pelvis ooo ouch!!!  Bob felt a kick the other day which was a really special moment. 
I have been sick the last couple of weeks, started last sat/sun (sunday am 3ish) I put it down to some rich food I had eaten the night before very very cold and had the shivers. then this sat same thing but about 6.30pm really violently sick very very cold, no energy at all. Bob was at the rugby club and called me to say he was struggling to get a cab I literally yelled I need you home now I am very very ill. Bless him he ran all the way home (about 2 miles but after playing a rugby game, beers and with his kit bag I wouldn't have fancied it lol) any way when he got home I was slumped in the bathroom looking a right state with the dogs close by guarding me. He had to carry me to bed and then stayed with me. about 2 hours later I was fine. soooooo weird. I wont lie though totally freaked me out and I was worried about Norman (bump name) I have been fine ever since so I guess we shall see what this Saturday brings haa haa. 
Apart from that everything is good - Christmas decorations are up and the festivities are starting lots of late nights and catching up with friends, love it  
We are going to my mom and dad's this year and I love it  there. In the middle of the countryside and all the family is there laughing and eating haa haa Then going to Bob's moms around new year where it is not so much fun haa haa. 
Before we know it the January sales will be on. I can't wait to grab some bargains. 

Lots of love to you all and big fat merry Christmas xxxxx 

Jules


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## BeckyA

*zana*, fantastic news! Many congrats!! Xx

*kirstie*, sorry you were preempted at your happy news, i would have been annoyed as well! Still, fantastic you had a good scan, roll on the next one. Those congrats will come rolling in soon. Xx

*jules*, sorry you are having random bouts of poorly. How odd. Norman obviously has a dislike for Saturdays! Yes, i have a pesky cervix that is both angulated and thin, so transfers are a bit of a nightmare. We are really happy that they want to have another mock just to make sure...and they haven't charged us anything yet! (Even better)

AfM, Picked up the meds this week, and that was - gulp - quite a blow to the old piggy bank! Looking like starting cycle in early Jan so really very close now! I have asked/told work that I want to take more time off with this cycle as so much is at stake. What do you guys think? I was thinking that taking the days directly after transfer off would be a good idea, get the embryo to snuggle in!


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## poppy05

Hello gorgeous ladies


Merry christmas everyone!
may not get a chance to post next week, so while im sat down i thought i'd nip in and say hi.


Zana oh my god!!!! wow what wonderful news, massive congrats to you my darling, hope you are keeping well, keep us updated   


Kirstie, sorry to hear your announcement didn't quite go to plan, but how lovely that you could add your news too, would of been horrible having to sit through that otherwise   
hope you are feeling well? enjoy panto season! 


Jules i hope your ok? how bizarre that you have been poorly on saturdays, naughty norman! 
so lovely to read you are both feeling the kicks now, such a special time   


BeckyA oooh not long now sweetheart, we are with you every step of the way, i pray you will be joining zana, kirstie and jules   


kazza, tricia, and lottie, well what a totally exciting week for you ladies next week, your little darlings first christmasses! i hope you all have a wonderful time and i look forward to seeing the pics   


Bexter hey gorge, how was prague? are you spending  christmas in your new home? whatever you are doing i hope you have a great time   


Hopeful whats happening with you now sweetie? are all the test results back?   


Chixy sending my love to you hunni, think of you often   


AFM, I am well and truely knackered!!!! good god i cannot believe how many people require hair do's in december!!!!  my next available appointment is 5th january!!   
Not sure how ive managed it but im ready for christmas! just got the veg to get and all done.
We are off out sun to meet our group of bestfriends for pub lunch and drinks, so goodbye mon!! haha


Oooooooh i have some news    my bestfriends got engaged at halloween, and ive only been asked to be his bestwoman!!!! omfg i gotta do a speech!!!    and vicki has been asked to be the other ones bestwoman! im so so bloody excited and honoured to be asked, but what the flipping heck am i gonna say? im only good at swearing and being filthy!!    oh well i got 2 years to write something, they plan to get married sept 2017!


Well i hope you all have amazing christmasses, thankyou for another year of friendships, really do hope i can meet some of you in the new year.
Sending my love to you all
Poppy xxxx


----------



## Kazza79

Hi everyone 
Sorry I haven't been on here for ages time has really been flying by, I will try n read through all the posts to catch up.
Christmas preps are well underway and I'm so excited for the big mans arrival lol  
Miss our chats so much 
Xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Hi ladies , 

Sorry I haven't been on in so long I literally don't get a min to myself twins are on the move now so I've got my hands full  

I need to catch up on all the posts but just wanted to pop on and wish you all a merry Christmas , I hope you all have an amazing day !!  Miss our little chats esp our chat room banter 😂 my acupuncturist tx me the other day I think he misses assaulting me lol . 

Will catch up before new year 

Love and baby dust to all xxx


----------



## Zana37

Good morning all,

It is crazy how time is passing so fast. I have been very busy these days but I imagine that all of us have been.
I am now 6+3 into my pregnancy and really growing nervous with the proximity of my first scanning. In the past it was always in the first scanning that I was told something was wrong and that I would miscarry. So next week on the 30st I will find out. 
Another thing making me nervous is the fact that I have no nausea at all   I wish I had more symptoms to feel more reassured. I feel very tired though.
I am trying really hard to remain positive and faithful. I have been praying a lot  

*Kirstie* I can only imagine how you felt in your family Christmas dinner when you felt your moment for the big announcement was snapped but you know what, your family knew about your struggle so I am sure they felt immensely happy for you. How is your pregnancy going?

*Poppy* I can only imagine how busy you are these days. I love to go to the hairdresser. I love the feeling of lightness of the hair. There's a blog that I think you should read. I have been reading for a long time. It is about a woman who like us battled infertility for many years and ended up by adopting 3 beautiful kids. I think you will really enjoy the reading. I truly do!

http://www.faithfullyinfertile.com

*Jules* thank you so much for your words. I will definitely follow your advice. I am so hoping everything will go well with both my pregnancy and the new job.

I hope all is going well with all of you. This as been an amazing journey so far. Can we believe that another year is going by... It seems like it was just not long ago I introduced my self to this thread 

I hope we will all have an amazing night together with family, friends if those we love! 
Let's remain faithful, lets remain hopeful and strong.

A big kiss to all and Merry Christmas


----------



## jules418

Good morning lovely ladies

Wow is it really Christmas eve I still have zone presents to buy ha ha food ones though so it is allowed hmmm...

Zana, thinning of you so much hun and Wednesday will be here in no time. Use Christmas to distract your mind and try as much as you can to rid any negative thoughts. That may I add is really though but your faith will guide you to a great 2016 xxx

Kirstie, are you looking forward to your first Christmas in your new home and the last one of being a family of two? Also need to set a lunch date in Jan xxx 

Poppy, such good news about being asked to be best woman, you will be amazing I have no doubt I know you are or best woman on here xx so supportive kind and hilarious. Would love to meet up after Norman had arrived. Get some day trips in the diary xx plus I owe you cake lol 

Tricia, Lottie, I can't wait to hear about your first baby Christmases xxx 

Kazza, hope you are well and that you're new addition enjoys your family Christmas with your boys xxx 

Bexter, a new Christmas for you too, in your new home. Pictures of decorations please lol. Hope you enjoyed your birthday and also looking forward to seeing you in the new year xx 

BeckyA, are you back in the UK now? Wishing you a lovely Christmas and lots of love for treatment staying in January xxx 

Hopeful, how are you hunni, all ready for Santa I hope. Not long till your treatment starts too exciting month ahead xxx 

Chixy, hope you are ok, think about you lots and wish you a magical Christmas. Miss you lots xxx 

Afm, it doesn't feel like Christmas, we are heading to my parents today and I am sure it will then. I love Christmas there it is so lovely and family orientated, plus mom makes the must amazing mine pies. I have said for next year I would like a couple of large tins of pies and a bottle of wine for my present ha ha. Although next year Norman will be here so will be even more magical. 
Pregnancy update: All going well got a glucose test on 29th Dec to see if I have pregnancy diabetes. I don't think I have but they test all high risk pregnancy ladies. I then have hooping cough jab on Jan 8th and next scan is on 11th Jan where they will measure Norman. I won't get tape measured as I have an extra wall of insulation ha ha. Also get to meet our consultant who will be doing the birth. 
So Norman is moving about alot now and I have to count the kicks must be at least 10 kicks per day not 10 occasions. Sometimes he does those in about 30 mins then is quiet the test of the day sometimes he is active all day lol. He kicked bob in the head the other day which was funny. 
We still don't know the sex but we think a boy so will totally be a girl lol. 

Any way enough about me. 

Love you all have a fab Christmas

Jules
Xxxxx


----------



## Bexter83

Hi ladies, 

Just a quick one to say merry Christmas to you all and a very happy new year to you all too. I really hope you've all had such a wonderful and special time. 

Zana, huge congrats on your news and I really wish you a healthy pregnancy, which I'm sure you will have.

Sorry I've been really pants, I truly care for you all and def have not forgotten the support you all have provided.

Any ways, just wanted to say hi and hope everyone is keeping well xxxxxxx


----------



## jules418

Good morning beautiful ladies and welcome to 2016!!!!!

I want to wish each and every one of you an amazing life changing year be that with this journey or other things that are happening in your lives. 

It has been an absolute pleasure to have you all in my life for the last 16 months or so and long may it continue.  

Love you all,  you are very special to me 

Jules 

Xxxxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Ah lovely words jules and i couldn't agree more   
Happy new year girlies, wishing you all health and happiness.


Lots of love poppy xxxxx


----------



## BeckyA

Love you girls, echo the sentiment Jules!

Started on my testosterone gel today, it was a bit messy! Had to do it in the bathroom so didn't get any near the cats!    Got 5 more days of this. Then waiting on AF to show up and start stimms. 

Decided to step on the scales this morning (it has been a while)....it wasn't pleasant! Really need to lose 5kg but don't think that is manageable whilst stimming. Ah well.


----------



## Zana37

Happy new year Lovely girls!

I can't believe the year 2015 finished! So many mixed feelings  But one needs to be positive, after all it is a choice we can make.

I went for my scanning or ultrasound this past Wednesday and when I arrived I almost couldn't breathe due to the stress I had  I simply burst into tears when the doctor asked if we should do the scanning. It was embarrassing. After some minutes we did it but I looked at my hubby, couldn't look at the screen. Twice before I was informed I would miscarry in the first scanning. But the news were good this time and it was reassuring to see the doctor smiling at us. A strong heartbeat in a little bean that measured 6+6.

He was so nice and he told me it was very important for me to relax and not to be so stressed. He suggested a weekly scannings for as long as it is safe for the baby. So  I will be going for weekly scannings at least until end of the 3rd month and I am not paying for that even though the scannings will be performed in a private clinic. Monday I am calling my own doctor for another reference letter and all the scannings will be paid by the government. I couldn't be happier. So next scanning will be next Friday.

I am feeling still very tired and since two days ago nauseating several times a day. I so hope all will go well this time!

I am now trying to be positive and really not worry so much. I will try to focus in my new year resolutions, new work and personal goals! Next week I am going to teach Zumba again. Only one hour a week and I am making changes in the choreography to not have jumps. But I must confess I feel a bit nervous, though I have been exercising before and after pregnancy.

What about you girls, any special resolutions you could share? One of my resolutions is to get involved in a community service project. It is so much easier for me to be less stressed when my focus is in helping someone else.

I think I will go to bed now. A wonderful night to all of you. Kisses and hugs


----------



## K.Notman

Afternoon Whippers and Happy New Year!

Zana- I was holding my breath reading your post so can’t begin to imagine how you must have felt leading up to the scan. I’m so happy it was good news and it’s fantastic that you will have a scan for reassurance every week to help you relax! Now to look after yourself. There are so many websites telling you what to do or not to do but I think that sleep is the main thing. Healthy balanced diet with regular activity and let nature take it’s course. Do you have blood tests too?  We have quite a few tests here- I was in on 31st Dec for one.  Please keep us informed as to how you get on and we are here to support you.

Becky- So it’s all go again! I hope AF turns up on time and plays the game for you to keep on schedule.  Look after yourself, I don’t blame you at all for wanting more time off work when you are investing so much into this.  Throw everything into it including a truck load of Positive Mental Attitude!

Poppy- Hello beautiful! Hope you enjoyed your Amsterdam trip.  I must admit, I’ve seen a lot of my friend’s ** status saying they are off on mini-breaks and thinking how lovely it would be.  In my pregnancy emails I’ve been getting, they mention a ‘babymoon’ to go away in 2nd trimester whilst you still can.  It would be lovely but I’m sure the majority of ‘normal’ people are anxious about the pennies with what’s to come so the idea of a self-indulgent holiday seems far-fetched! I’m sure you completely earned it having worked so hard through December and it’s a great start to the new year together.  I’m sure you will be a fantastic best-woman! Plenty of time to prepare.  Will the wedding be in the UK?  Are you going to be hitting the healthy food and exercise routine again?  I think most people like to do some kind of damage limitation after the festivities- I certainly over-indulged! 

Jules & Norman!- Not long until your next scan! You must be huge now! I’ll look at my diary and let you know dates for meet-up but it’s busy in Jan & Feb with Panto.  Judging by our last rehearsal, we still need a lot of practice but hopefully people have used the holidays to learn lines properly! I’m going to try my costume on again tonight as my work trousers were rather snug today so I’m hoping I still fit into it! Let me know if you want tickets again!

Bexter- New year in the new home, what has 2016 got in store for you? I hope you have some things on the horizon to look forward to. Another Whippers meet-up I hope! You’re welcome to stop over again if you want to come to panto!  How was your Christmas?

Hopeful- Have you had the results from your tests yet?  What’s the next step for you?  Did the house move go ok?  You’ve got an exciting year ahead!

Kazza, Lottie & Tricia- I hope you had fantastic Christmases and have some exciting things planned for the coming year. It’s lovely seeing all the photos on **- so cute!

Chixy- sending love as always xxx

AFM, WOW, what a fantastic Christmas! I had a great time- lots of family, friends, food and fun (notice the absence of drink there for the first Christmas ever!).  I had a really good break and the whole festive season was stress free and happy. I’ve eaten way too much and will just finish up the left-overs in the house and then it’s back to basics with the healthy routines. I managed to get out and do some walking but I’m keen to do more activity as a fit and healthy pregnancy is supposed to lead to an easier birth (here’s hoping!)

So I’m feeling fat and frumpy.  Definitely seen an increase in size over the last fortnight and having to look at buying some elasticated waist clothing! Our antenatal check-ups have proved a healthy heartbeat still but we have to wait until 27th for the next scan. I’m letting myself start to believe this now and friends have started giving us baby stuff so I’ve been putting it in what will be the nursery even though we won’t decorate until early summer. I’ve been receiving email January Sale offers for baby things which are really tempting so we may indulge a little just to save money. June still feels like ages away though and I still have the fear that all of this can be taken away from us. I know that feeling will never go as we have been wanting this for so long and it’s hard to believe it will ever actually happen.  I’m not anxious or stressed though and still thinking positively- lots of Bob Marley vibes! Hubby has been looking after me and was very helpful with Christmas hosting. So everything is ticking on nicely really and we are taking it each week at a time.  I still have NO symptoms what so ever which a lot of people say I’m very lucky with but some reassurance that I’m following the ‘normal’ pattern of what should happen would be nice.

Look after yourself everyone.  I look forward to reading your updates xxxx


----------



## Lottie1802

Hey ladies!!!

Happy new year to you all! Sorry for the late post, I keep locking myself out and forgetting my password what a muppet! 

To those of you lucky ladies that are now with bump, so pleased to read the pregnancies are going well! I remember the feelings of being scared to believe it was true! I still pinch myself everyday, such a bizarre feeling , and so emotional at times! 

I echo what Jules said, I'm so touched to have come in to contact with you lovely lot, I still stand by the fact my beautiful babies wouldn't be here if it weren't for the fact that each and everyone of you supported me when I really needed it, and for that I am eternally grateful and love you all x x 

And to those of you who haven't reached the end of your journies , you all cross my mind every day , and I patiently wait to see your happy ever afters , and I know they are coming so keep the faith, your my heroes x x


----------



## Lottie1802

Ps 

I don't know if I actually ever shared this with you lot ! But I actually called our first twin Lillie after the lilypie tickers at the bottom of people's posts , I thought it would always remind me of what we went through to get them! Silly I know , but I liked the idea  

Love ya all x


----------



## K.Notman

Aww Lottie that's so sweet!
I send my prayers every day to FF ladies, past present and future.  This site and particularly this board has been a life-line for a lot of us.  I nip onto other messages occasionally to offer my support where I feel I can, thinking back to when I was a newbie and needed help.

Group hug everyone


----------



## hopeful1985

Hi guys!!! Warms my heart to read that you are all getting on so well!!! Keep us informed. I have now moved and live in a diff area so next cycle is up in the air at the min. Been losing hope tbh, no idea why it hasnt worked up to now and drs cant give answers. Key hole op went fine although i had a meltdown in recovery as they left me in an empty ward on the same bed i had when i had my d and c and i was there hours as they wouldnt let me leave until i peed yet gave me no drinks and i had not had a drink since midnight the night before. Procedure was 9am and had to basically discharge myself at 5pm as i had worked myself up. Pesky anastesia lets the emotional barriers down and my mind was in overdrive thinking about d and c and i was practically hysterical.  They wouldnt let my hubby in either so i staged a break out lol. Stitches still there 7 weeks later with no signs they will dissolve any time soon!! As i have now moved i am not registered with new doc as need to go in on a weekday to register and i cant get time off work and i work 20 miles away from home so cant pop in on lunch break. Hopefully will sort itself out but feel doomed with treatment now i have moved, dont even know where to begin and anxious about having to start again with new doc and explain everything. Hey ho we will see what happens. Glad to see u girls are 'bumping' along nicely!!! On phone so cant go back too far on posts to do individual messages but know i am here and am send positive vibes for u all xxxxxxx


----------



## K.Notman

Hi Hopeful, good to hear from you but sorry to hear you are having an unsettled time. These things take time and patience (again!). I'm sure you'll be fine in your new home and different area.  You could phone the surgery you wish to join to see if you can complete forms online and then go in on a Saturday morning or an evening if they need a face-to-face for signing etc.  I had to make an appointment to complete my registration with new GP and the earliest they gave me was 3 weeks ahead so it's best you get on the case sooner rather than later.  
Your recent op sounds really traumatic and not very fair of them to treat you like that, I'm not surprised you discharged yourself!  I hope the stitches heal well and you take care of yourself.  As far as tx is concerned, you need to be in a relaxed, and ready state to face it all.  It might be worth attending any open days at clinics near you just to see what your options are.  Would you have to pay to get your notes from the last place?  Birmingham Women's Hospital would do a copy for £50 if you requested it in writing.  Anyway, you need to get healthy and happy first- New Year New Start so I wish you all the best and look forward to hearing your updates.

Love to all xxx


----------



## BeckyA

hey ladies, just a quickie to let you know i've started stimming!!!! first scan Monday. send me lots of luck!!!


----------



## poppy05

Hey lovelies


Becky good luck for your scan, let us know, praying for lots of follies for you   


lottie i didnt know thats where you got lillies name from either, thats so sweet   


zana, how you doing darling? im so pleased to read they are keeping a close eye on you, weekly scans is so reassuring   


hopeful, im sorry to hear things are all a bit of a tiz for you at mo, fingers crossed you can get your next cycle sorted asap   


jules and kirstie, hows our beautiful yummy mummy to be's? 


Hi to all my other gorgeous girls   


AFM, we went to another adoption event on thurs, this time with a local authority, and we loved them! so we have decided to go with them, we are waiting for the paperwork to come through so we can hopefully get accepted for stage 1, we have also decided to go down the foster to adopt route, we have been thinking about it and discussing it for some time now, and for many reasons we feel it is more suited to us rather than straight adoption, it would mean our child would come to us alot sooner, and we would be involved with all the legal stuff prior to adoption, we wouldnt be dealing with foster carers and social workers, as we would be the ones fostering, then once the child is (hopefully) legally up for adoption it would be us and not another adoptive family, so it cuts out on how many places the child lives in before he/shes goes to their forever home, the attachment process will begin alot sooner and the child will be settled quicker, like all situations it can come with heartache if the child was to be placed back with the birth family, but like we have said, as hard as it would be to give the child back, at least we know we would of given a chld a good start in life, but we are crossing everything that we will get our forever child and not have to deal with anymore upset.


Some of you have prob seen my pics on **, but we met our godson today, he is soooooo gorgeous, he was born last sat, the day we went to amsterdam! i was supposed to be the second birthing partner, but that all went boobs up!!! but he arrived safely, infact it took my friend 10 minutes to push him out with only gas and air!! she did so well, she was very good when we were there too, she let me feed him and change his nappy, and i held him the whole 2 hours we were there, i let vicki have a quick go but then he was mine again!!    they all think im odd because the first thing i did was pull his socks off and kiss his feet!    i just adore baby feet! haha 
it was lovely to see him, and i want one!!!!!! 


I hope everyone is ok and you all had fab christmas and new years
love poppy xxx


----------



## Zana37

Hi dear all.

Here is a quick update. So we went for one more scanning last Friday and all was going well and measurements were 8+3. Next scanning is this Thursday at 16:45 and Friday morning I will have an appointment with my own doctor for blood checks. I would love to say that I feel that this is it but each scanning is quiet hard for me in regards to stress. I hope it will get better with time. But yes Poppy it is so reassuring once it is done and things are ok.

So today will be my first day in the new job. I will start at 10:00 and I have absolutely not prepared for it in terms of studying about what I will be working with - financial instruments     I have been so tired and at times nauseated in this past weeks.   all I can say is.... so help me God 

I wish you all a great day!


----------



## K.Notman

Morning all.

Zana, I'm really pleased everything is progressing well.  I can imagine your anxiety but it sounds like you are in good hands.  Good luck with the new job, just take things one task at a time.

Becky-  OOOh, stimming!  Good luck with scan today.  Sending you follie-vibes.  Lets have lots of lovely eggies on the way!

Poppy- Wow exciting to register with the agency!  I'm glad you got a good feeling from them.  I can see your advantages of going foster-adopt and hope that all the paperwork is straight forward so you can be on the list quickly.  Your Godson is gorgeous by the way!  Sounds like you are going to be a great Godparent and are close to the family- lots of opportunity for snuggles!

Hello everyone else, I hope you are all well and have seen my previous posts.

AFM, All good so far.  Nothing much to report.  I've had to do a little research today to about eczema as I've had a flare-up of it on one foot and it's really bad when it keeps me awake at night wanting to scratch it so much. Apparently it's not uncommon in pregnancy. My husband has it and has all the creams which I've used a little of but think I ought to see my GP to get my own. I just hate having to book an appointment for something none urgent when it can be such a hassle. I might just manage it with moisturiser for a week and see how I get on. My sleeping has become noticeably lighter lately too. I used to be able to have 8 hrs solid but now I stir a few times at night. I know it will be much worse when little one arrives but I wanted as much sleep as possible before hand! I guess my body is going through a lot of change now (18weeks) so I have to go with it. 

Sending positive thoughts to everyone, have a great week.


----------



## poppy05

Hi all
Sorry for the me post but im at work on my phone, but i wanted to share my news and didnt want to wait until tonight!
We have officially been accepted to begin stage 1 of the adoption process and our prep course starts on 28th jan!!! words cant describe how excited i am, for the first time in 20 years i feel like i could actually be a mum at the end of this journey, a long way to go and i know its gonna be tough, but bring it on is what i say!!

Love to you all
poppy xxx


----------



## jules418

Hi Ladies, 

Poppy - what wonderful news I am sooooooo pleased for you both, the new chapter of the book starts right here and now  You will both be amazing parents and have so much to offer love and guidance xxx

Kirstie - I'm afraid the sleeping gets worse  but it is to prepare you for all these sleepless nights  I am now at the point where I can't get comfy in any position but if I do I have such a wonderful sleep it makes me sooo happy, like they say it is the little things that make us smile, then Norman moves and I love it  Not long til your 20 weeks scan, exciting looking forward to the pics 

Zana - how did your 1st day at work go? Hope you didn't feel too sick. Good luck tomorrow with your next scan xxx

Becky, hope all is going well with you - come one give us an update lol xxx

Hi to everyone else love you all  

AFM - All well with me bit of heartburn has started up the last couple of weeks getting worse as the days go on but sometimes I bring it on myself (jalapenos... really were they a good idea.... delicious though haa haa) I am getting huge now can't see my feet and struggle with putting on shoes that are not slip on.I am staying active though and moving around a lot I am still known for a mad sprint for the train, I also get told of for said sprint for the train haa haa. 
I have 5 weeks left at work and I am now 29+6. 

Jules
xxxxx


----------



## BeckyA

Great news *poppy*, so pleased for you. 2016 is gonna be the year of the new yummy mummies!

*zana*, hope you are doing well and your new job is going ok.

*jules*, can't believe there is so little time to go...it seems like yesterday that we were sat having afternoon tea and you spilt the beans!! 

*kirstie*, we've spoken over text but hoping you have a fab scan next week.

Big love to all the other whippers! Thanks for asking after me. finally got the go ahead for EC today after 5 scans! Pesky follies were growing super slowly at 1mm a day, but have just had a spurt. So EC is on Friday at 7:30pm - yes you didn't read wrong - pm!! Crazy time!  I can't eat anything from 11am, I am gonna be starvin marvin! Doc hopes to get 8 eggs which would be lovely, then we are having IVF this time not 
ICSI, which I am a bit nervous about as not done before. Then hopefully the embryos will be put in the embryoscope, and popped back at, hopefully, blasto next Thurs! Wish me luck ladies! Xx


----------



## poppy05

7.30 pm?!!!!!! good god thats a horrid time, you poor thing, you will be sooo hungry, take supplies for after, wishing you all the best and i really do hope that you will be joining the 2016 yummy mummy club   


jules how can you be 29 weeks already? wth? norman will be here before you know it    and big    for train sprints!!!! pack it in young lady!!!   


kirstie 20 weeks scan omg    the time is just flying, it only seems like yesterday you were preparing for transfer, will you find out the flavour?   


hi eveyone else, i miss you girls xxx


----------



## tricia1012

Hi ladies 
Hope your all well sorry I've not been on much I feel like I don't have any time I haven't quite got the hang of routines with my two they tend to call the shots lol . 

Kirstie and jules lovely to hear things are going well 29 weeks jules how did that happen time goes far to quick ! You both must be so excited  xx

Becky - best of luck keeping everything crossed for you praying this will be your time xx

Zana- best of luck aswell   Hope your ok xx

Hopeful - keep strong I know it can be difficult sending you hugs xx

Poppy !! Omg I have never been happier to read your news  you deserve all the happiness in the world I'll never forget the support you gave me when I needed it , you will both be amazing mummy's xx

Lottie - I know we're always in touch but I couldn't leave you out  that's so cute I never realised that's why you named her Lillie ! Xx

Kazza - loving seeing all the pics of your gorgeous lil man he's getting so grown up  xx

Bexter - how are you hun ? Hope you had a lovely Christmas xx

Hi to anyone I've missed out I do think of you all 

Christmas was very surreal and very emotional I still can't actually believe that there here ! there 8 months old next week how crazy is that . I have two very active lil ones who are into everything def keeping me busy but I secretly love it . This is a a making group of lovely ladies and i   All your dreams come true .

Love and babydust to all xxx


----------



## K.Notman

*Poppy*- That's fantastic news! I'm really happy for you. Another step closer to that dream and we are with you every step. How exciting!!!

*Jules*- Can't wait to see you and Norman on Sunday for a proper catch up. Glad you are keeping active as much as you can but remember your limits hun! I'm hoping you get lots of sleep when you can.

*Becky*- I'm really excited by your progress. Will be thinking of you tonight and your eggies in the lab of love listening to Barry White over the weekend! Lots hope for good egg numbers and good fertilisation. I hope all the hunger is more than worth it!

*Tricia*- Nice to hear from you. I imagine you are still pinching yourself. It still hasn't sunk in with me yet- the part of me that's protecting myself in case it all goes wrong. I hope you enjoy every day as you've worked so hard for it.

*Zana*- how are the appointments going? I'm thinking and praying for you often. Sending positive vibes that you can be healthy and happy.

*Hopeful*- have you registered with a GP yet? How are the stitches? You ok hun?

*Lottie, Kazza*- How are the families? I bet time is flying now you have your hands full. I hope you are enjoying all the baby clubs/coffee mornings etc whilst not at work!

*Bexter*- How are you? Any plans for the Spring? Need to get a date in the diary for our next meet up. I hope everything in the new house is fine. We are having another look at our 'To-Do' list to get as much done whilst I'm still able to help!

*Chixy*- I know you are still popping by for a read so I'm sending you a huge hug too xxxxx

*AFM*, Well I did contact GP in the end about my itchy foot. I didn't want to go down the prescribed steroid route so they recommended 'Aveeno' cream which apparently is highly thought of on the online reviews. I've been using it twice a day and it's much better- still not gone but not keeping me awake any more. In fact, sleeping seems to have returned to normal but that's probably because I've been so busy, I crash out when my head hits the pillow! Its Panto dress rehearsal next week! I've been working on the programme over the last week and finishing all the scenery today. It's shaping up to be a great show actually (I know I sound surprised, lol!).

I'm a bit annoyed that I got a hospital letter yesterday saying they have postponed my next scan until the 3rd! I'm so impatient now as the last one was aaaaaaaaaaages ago! I know it's nothing to worry about. We are NOT finding out the gender but just want to see little (getting bigger!) bean again soon. I'm getting bigger now and have got a couple of maternity jeans (luckily panto costume is elasticated waist!). I have been really naughty with eating rubbish and not being active enough. I was looking into getting a Fitbit before Christmas so bit the bullet and got one in the January sales yesterday. So I'm now more focused on keeping up the healthy routines as I'm being far too complacent (sitting on the sofa working my way through packets of biscuits!). I'm still instructing the kids club at karate but taking it very easy. I'm doing my yoga DVD occasionally to attempt to keep supple but I think it's far too late to get my fitness back. As soon as panto is out of the way I'll have more time to maybe go swimming and now that it's getting slightly slighter and possibly milder (?) I should get out and do more walking.

Anyway, that's enough waffle from me. Have a great weekend everyone. Sending hugs xxx


----------



## BeckyA

Hello ladies, just a quicky as i am super tired. Will catch up personals later. Just back from EC and got 5 eggs. A bit disappointed as was hoping for 7/8, but hey at least it is not 0. Now on to tomorrow for the dreaded call from the embryologist!


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## poppy05

well done becky, fingers crossed for the call in the morning, with you all the way sweetheart


----------



## jules418

Hi Becky,  how are you feeling today let us know how the call goes.  Remember you only need 1 for the miracle to start xxxx


----------



## BeckyA

3 fertilised ladies...reasonably happy with that! Now waiting til monday morning phone call to see how developed and if day 3 transfer that afternoon, or if we can go to blasto on thursday.

Big love to all. Xxx


----------



## jules418

Wicked news 3 is fab hun will be doing a fertility dance ready for you and have sent a prayer on my star Bracelet,  yes I am still wearing it.

Let us know how you get on Monday xxxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Good luck for your call in the morning becky, let us know what they say, got everything crossed for you   


hope you and kirstie had a nice catch up jules, always makes me smile to see you girls meeting up, i hope oneday i will be sitting with you drinking tea and eating cake!   


zana i hope you are doing ok sweetie?   


Hopeful any news babe?   


hugs to everyone else   


We received our stage 1 pack yesterday    we've got to write our life story from birth to now, doing a rough copy first, its harder than i thought, i struggle with getting going when i write stuff, so far ive done my timeline, that was really hard because i had to remember all my addresses ive lived at since birth, when i started school/college etc, and significant life events, you dont get given much writing space so having to condense stuff down too, i just hope i manage to write it in the right way so it sounds ok.
Looking forward to our first workshop on thurs, i cant believe this is actually happening, its crazy.


Ive scrubbed my house to within an inch of its life today!! i have got a social worker coming to interview me tomorrow, im a referee for our bestfriends who are adopting, ive told the dogs to be on best behavouir, and ive replenished the tbag jar!!!!    wish me luck! 




lots of love to you all
poppy xxx


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## BeckyA

Unfortunately not good news ladies, they called us in to the clinic this morning, and none of our embryos have divided, so yet again we have nothing to transfer. Devastated is an understatement.

Thanks all for thinking of me. I shall sign off FF for a while.

Poppy,best of luck with the adoption process. Xx


----------



## poppy05

Oh Becky sweetheart   im absolutely gutted for you both, im so very sorry to read this sad news, its so so unfair, you really dont deserve to be going through this, you are both very much in my thoughts, and i am here for you anytime you need me.
big hugs my darling


----------



## K.Notman

Morning all!

Becky- I know we've messaged each other so I'm sending you more cuddles. 

Zana- How are the scans going?  Are you ok, any symptoms?  When are you going to start telling people?

Jules- Not long until you are a free woman form work!  Ticking off that calendar, yay!

Poppy- How was the Social Worker visit? Are you feeling happy, relaxed and excited?  I'm excited for you!

A big wave "Hello" to everyone  

AFM, Well yesterday was a bit of a nightmare to be honest. We got to the appointment and the midwife called us in, I gave her my 'sample' and notes and sat down. She started saying "so you had your scan last week..." And I said "no, it was postponed until today and that's why we are here". I showed her the letter that stated that the appointment on 27th Jan had been moved until 3rd Feb. Upon reading it she told us that this was just the appointment with the consultant and that the midwife and scan appointments should still have been last week! Well, I was furious as this letter was obviously a really vague blanket letter that gave no reference to this, only that "the appointment has been changed". I was polite but very firm and unlike me who normally sits back and lets it all happen, I expressed my frustration/annoyance/anger saying that I was already 22 weeks and NEED to have my 20 week scan! She got quite flustered so went off to see if they could fit me in (it's not like anyone phoned me last week to ask where I was!!). Luckily there was a slot but not until an hour later. I said we'd take it. So the midwife did her checks and we had the consultant appointment. We have only been referred due to doing the IVF route but she said we are now like any normal pregnancy and not 'at risk'. She has scheduled me for a few more scans than normal though just to keep an eye on things which I'm all for (typical FF style!). She was very happy with the test results we'd had so far and was actually very reassuring and positive. We then waited around for the scan and I can't fault the professionalism of the staff as they are very thorough and give time to every patient. We said we didn't want to know the gender so she warned us at the times to 'look away'! Everything was looking perfect though. It's amazing the technology though- we could see the blood in different colours going around the different chambers of the heart! So we got our wonderful scan picture and left feeling happy and relieved (but an expensive car park bill!) 

I guess I've still had suspended belief until this scan so I felt quite emotionally drained last night now I can really start to believe this is happening. I finally had the courage to put it out on ******** and have been overwhelmed by people's comments and support on the post- very emotional. I was talking to a close friend about it last night saying I didn't want to look back at what will be my only ever pregnancy and think I wasted it worrying or not believing. Each day is precious and I should embrace it and enjoy it. So I feel completely different today and am going to make the most of each day. I know these next few months will fly by and I'm glad we are getting prepared now. I know it's still not guarenteed and there can still be complications but I'm going to be positive and have faith. (We are considering 'Faith' as a girl's name actually!). 

I still have faith that those of you out there who are still trying can have your day too.  Sending you big hugs  
Lots of love,
Kirstie


----------



## K.Notman

Morning all.
It's gone very quiet on here again.  I hope everyone is ok?

Zana, how are the scans going hun?

Everything is fine with me. Panto finished this weekend and it was a great success. We had the after-show-party last night which was lovely.  I can catch up on all the things that have been neglected now and maybe start my 'nesting'!

Hugs to everyone xxxx


----------



## BeckyA

Hello lovely ladies, hope you are all doing well. Xx

I have been off FF for a while since the disaster of my last cycle, but we went to the clinic yesterday for the follow up meeting and to get Oscar's test results (for DNA fragmentation and FISH). He is all fine, no problems, both tests came back "normal".

We chatted with the doc about realistic next steps. They are of the opinion that it is not worth trying another cycle with my own eggs, based on 5 failed cycles. Everything seems to go ok until the eggs are harvested, and then either the embryos are of bad quality, or the ones we have had put back either haven't developed, or just didn't take.

So, they have said that realistically our only option is to use donor eggs. We are not really sure how we feel about this yet, we'll need some time to get our heads round it and decide if it is the way forward for us, or the end of the road.

It's never easy, is it!?


----------



## K.Notman

Good to hear from you Becky.
Well as you know, I had no choice in the matter so can't empathise with what you are going through with having to decide/accept but I am sympathetic to your situation.  What I will say is that I am a big fan of donor eggs if it means increasing your success rate and getting the family you deserve.  There is a lot of research about how the birth Mother's DNA can pass to the child during carrying.  There are a number of discussion on this FF website about how DE children can still look/act like their birth Mother so do have a good look around as there is a lot of advice on here for people who have been in your position and come out smiling.  I'm really glad Oscar's tests came back without problems and that you do have very positive options for the future.
Lot of love xxx


----------



## Chixy

Hello my lovely ladies,

I am sorry I have been very quiet lately. I have been in a very dark place and continue to battle each day. 

BeckyA - I am sorry to learn of your dilemma and totally understand the difficulties of deciding whether to try again with donor eggs. For me I would consider donor eggs if I knew my eggs were not up to scratch - but I know that both myself and my DH have managed to produce good embryos.

Poppy - you are doing amazing and I cannot wait to hear your adoption/ fostering journey - as maybe in the future this is where my path may take me?? Not there yet though. I am worried about having to write my life story _ i can't remember what I did yesterday let alone what I did 10/ 20 years ago!! Jumping through more hoops makes me cross - so I need to get past that first.

Kisties - Your journey is fantastic and I cannot believe that you will soon be meeting your beautiful son or daughter in June, I am so happy for you and Ralph 

Jules - not long know and can't believe how fast your pregnancy seems to have gone (i am sure you will disagree with me though) Soon you will be the family you have been dreaming of. I hope to follow in your foot steps one day - I continue to dream.

Hello to all you other lovely Walnut Whippers.

AFM: well I finally succumbed to having the NK cell test done. I was so adamant that I did not have NK cell issues - however my recent results tell me otherwise!! I am therefore considering giving IVF one last time (I really thought the last time was my last!!) Having knowledge of what is wrong has changed everything and so I am in consultation with my consultant at CARE but also with a Consultant at the hospital because I am also pursuing the idea of having what bit of tube I have left - removed. This is because a friend I know who went through IVF had 4 or 5 rounds of IVF and on her last attempt was advised to have her tubes removed - she did and know has twin girls who are now 21 years old!! Apparently when fallopian tubes are no longer working correctly they can release fluid into the womb making it an unfriendly / volatile environment for embryos!! I learn so much from each cycle but what an expensive lesson to learn each time!!!

Well I hope you are all well and I am so grateful that you accept me when I disappear for a time (it is the only way I know how to cope) So I apologise for that.

Love and hugs to you al

    l


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## poppy05

Hi beauts 

Becky hun ive been thinking about you, i know its not the same, but i have been an egg donor and am happy to answer any questions you might have from a donors prospective, (my recipient got a bfp) its a big decision moving onto donor eggs, maybe having some counselling to help you? there really is more to being a mummy than biology, and of course our kirstie can offer you lots of advice im sure, 

chixy my darling how lovely to see you posting  
wow so you do have high NK cells, exactly the same as me, i would of laid money on me not having it, and when my test came back positive i nearly fainted, however getting that diagnosis has actually really helped me to be able to move on from having a biological child, i think having the 'one last attempt' really is a good idea, i pray with all my heart that all you need is the immune meds and you will be ok and go on to get your baby, as you know mine didnt work, and as awful as it was at the time, and a little breakdown needing time off work and counselling, i have come out the other side, i feel like i had closure, and i have a reason why i cant have children, i guess what im saying is sometimes something awfully sad actually turns into something positive, im always here if you need a chat, we've missd you here babes 

kirstie hows you my lovely? bet you are getting a lovely bump now? have you decided on any names yet? Danielle is nice for a girl!!! 

jules hey gorgeous hows you? hows norman? 

lottie im loving seeing all your new york pics, what a totally amazing birthday present, your dh rocks!!! 

tricia hey hunni, how are you and those gorgeous darlings? 

kazza babe hope you and yummy lil man are well?  

zana im worried about you sweetie, i hope all is ok 

AFM, so we've finished stage 1!!! it went so so quick, our actual completion date is the 21st march so we have a bit of a wait now to see if we have made it through to stage 2, we have enjoyed the courses we have been on, and we actually enjoyed writing our life stories, the process really gets you thinking and talking about everything, vicki and i talk about everything anyway, but this has taken us right back to stuff we had forgotten about, it has also made us both realise how very lucky we were to have such happy childhoods, im very proud of what we both wrote.
Im so impatient and just want the agency to contact me so we know what happens next.

Lots of love girls
poppy xxx


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## K.Notman

Good morning Whippers! Nice to see a few updates on here and even better that they are fantastic news! 

*Chixy*- as I said in my text to you, I was so happy to hear that you are giving it another try!  I'm sorry to hear you have NK issues but it's great to actually know this before cycling so you can change the treatment accordingly. I know it sounds worrying having the tubes procedure but I think this too could make all the difference this time. It must feel great to have hope again , even if it is the scary rollercoaster of another cycle that faces you. Please let us know how you get on. Do you have any idea of timescales yet?

*Poppy*- eeek- so excited for you!  It must be annoying jumping through hoops and waiting for appointments but you are used to this with the other cycles. It's great that you are enjoying the process together and it's bringing you even closer together. So what's expected in the next stages?

*Becky*- Sending you more hugs as this is such a difficult time for you both . I hope the hospital is forthcoming with information to help you decide what to do.

*Jules*- How is maternity leave suiting you? Lots of catch ups with friends, getting the nursery ready? Are your family getting excited? I'm looking forward to our next meet up, you must look like you are ready to pop now going by seeing you a few weeks ago! I hope you have got some good box-sets/films to watch or books to read. Are Rocky & Mavis keeping you good company? Walking them must be good to you to keep up with gentle exercise. Take care sweetheart.

*Zana*- I sent you a message hun as I'm praying hard that your journey is still ok  . Sending you hugs. You know where we are if you need us xxx 

*Hopeful*- We haven't heard from you in a while- any updates? Thinking of you and sending you lots of positive thoughts. 

*Bexter*- I'm not sure if you are still stalking the boards and checking in on us Whippers. A big "hello" shout out to you  . Have you settled into your lovely new home now?

*Tricia, Kazza, Lottie*- I really enjoy seeing the ******** updates. You all look so happy. 

*AFM*, Well bump is certainly growing and has firmed up in the last fortnight. I'm glad I'm keeping my healthy eating in check now so I don't look like I'm just piling on weight. I haven't done much exercise despite knowing I really should- and I am enjoying hot crossed buns (no cravings, I just really like them toasted with butter, nom nom nom!)

Panto went really well and the costume survived the growth! Now I have my week-night evenings back! I'm so glad it's getting lighter in mornings/evenings as this inspires me to get outside more. I want to get to some swimming sessions so will see what my local sports centre has to offer. Although, most of my spare time has been spent decorating the house and doing all the jobs that still need doing. The nursery is coming on and I'm snapping up online bargains as and when I see them to spread the costs. It's not a problem not knowing the gender as you can get a lot of neutral things. We've also been given many things from friends and family which is great.

I'm feeling lots of wiggles in there now but still don't feel any different in myself. My friends tell me how lucky I am, I just hope things remain this positive. I still feel like we are skating on ice but as those of you who have been through this have told me, this feeling will never leave me when we have gone through what we have to get here. I'm still "jammin'" to Bob Marley and not letting things stress me. Ralph is trying to prepare himself for all of the change. I'm attempting to try to get us to sleep on the other side of the bed so that I can get out easier when I need to. He is very reluctant and it might have to wait until the arrival comes before it happens. I don't know how he is going to cope with the lack of sleep as he is so grumpy when he hasn't slept properly. He is mindful of it all though and even asked the GP if there is support out there for helping him cope with his autism. Unfortunately as an adult, you get very little support. He would need a referral for a Mental Health review which all sounds a bit much. I think he just needs some counselling and opportunity to speak with other autistic fathers. At least he is giving it some thought now so there is time before the chaos happens! 

Anyway, love to all. Have a good weekend. xxx


----------



## jules418

Hello ladies 

How are we all?

Chixy lovely to hear from you and I am so pleased you have been given some new options and new focus xxx

Poppy, looks like you are getting positive news also,  what happens next? It is very exciting.... 

Kirstie,  glad you have no symptoms you are lucky, apart from the initial 1St trimester nausea I have been good motet to moan about any way lol. Shame there is no easy support for Ralph.  I think sometimes they make it so hard to get help that it does more harm than good.  Are you able to ask at BW and use Ann? 

Hope everyone else is good sorry for lack of appearance on her recently been super busy with work and also support knackered lol.

So I am now 35+3, peeing every 45 mins and not getting much sleep which is OK now I have finished work lol.  Lady couple of weeks were hard as had so much to do in the office but feel I can try to relax now what ever that means.  On Tuesday I decided that the nursery liked so nice that the bedroom needed doing.  Bob was not pleased.... So we stated stripping the walls (woodchip arghhh) came off rather easily until it was time for the coving to come off and a mauve section of player down to the brick..... Whoops.  Then problem after problem but hey at least now it will be fine properly and won't have to worry about it. 
So last day at work was Friday so not had much chance to enjoy it yet as just a normal weekend but I have a mum to be pamper session on wed at clarins spa in brum,niiiiiiiiiice then meeting my mom after. 

Hope you are all OK and it think of you all daily. 

Lots of love Jules (and norman) 
Xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## poppy05

Hey girls


Lovely to see our yummy mummies to be posting!


kirstie you are exactly a week behind my sis in law! although hers is twins so will be born early.
bet you are looking geogeous with your lovely baby belly, im glad to hear you are still feeling weel, you have been so lucky   


jules wow i cant believe you are on mat leave already    how exciting that norman will be here soon   


To answer your question girls, the next stage (stage2) and if we get accepted, is the home study part, we will be assigned a social worker who will come to our house for weekly meetings up until we go to panel, the bit where our lives are scrutinised and no stone will be left unturned!
there are a few courses too, i know you begin with a 3 day prep course, then the rest are optional, but we will do as many if not all as we can.
we have booked ourselves onto a baby/child first aid course which is next mon, we booked it through the red cross, tbh i think all parents should do it, we felt it will be a positive thing to have in our adoption file so decided to do it now rather than later.
i doubt we will hear from the agency now until after our completion date which is march 21st, we finished stage 1 really quickly and now im getting impatient waiting!! 


lots of love to you xx


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## BeckyA

Hello lovely ladies, hope you are all well.

*chixy*, wishing you the best of luck with your current cycle. Are you having anything different this time? Got everything crossed for you. Xx

*poppy*, your adoption journey always sounds so positive. You and vicky are gonna be amazing mummies, how was the first aid course?

*kirstie*, thanks for your unwavering support. Loved the photo of you and jules on **. Hope you are ok and everything going swimmingly. Any more support come along for ralph?

*jules*, not long now, Hope you are taking advantage of the calm before the storm! X

Much love to all the other whippers! Xx

AFM, well it is taking me longer than i thought to come to terms with the fact that i will never have a child genetically related to me. I am waiting on some books i have oredered from amazon about egg donation and i have done quite a bit of reading on this website and the internet. I think i am slowly coming round to giving it one last chance through DE. I can't bear the thought of never being a mum, and i think i would regret not giving it a shot. However, time is not on our side, i am 40 next year and oscar 44, so if we do go ahead with DE it will be our final go. Next month marks 5 years ttc and i think that is quite a lot really, to have your life on hold so long.


----------



## poppy05

Hi Becky, i cannot believe you will be 40 next year, you really don't look it at all, unfortunately i am 40 this year!!!!!!    in 10 weeks time to be precise, i cant get over the fact im still childless at 40 after 20 years of trying, who on earth tries for that long? its ridiculous, so ridiculous i find myself actually laughing about it now! 
Im sorry to read your are struggling with the idea of using donor eggs, i guess i cant offer much advice as only you know how you feel, i do feel though that after being pregnant and givng birth i doubt you would even think about the genetics? i hope you find the books helpful, does your clinic offer counselling? i found it really helped me with my decision to adopt, perhaps something to consider if you are struggling a bit?   


Not long now until our brand new mini whipper will be here!!! jules you are looking fabulous, loved the photo of you and kirstie, you both look so cute with your bumps   


Hi everyone else hope you are all ok   


No news here yet, still waiting to hear from the adoption agency! hopefully another couple of weeks and we will know if we are moving onto stage 2! 


Lots of love to you all
poppy xx


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## jules418

Hello lovely ladies 

Wow super worry on here now how everyone is well. 

Poppy how did you get on on 21St March? 

Hopeful how are you any news on your journey? 

Becky, how are you both any thoughts on progression massive decision for you both to make xx

Kirstie,  I know we speak alot but gotta give a girl a holler lol. How is bump growing? 

Chixy, how are you hunni not long til may now. 

Zana, how you are OK and if nothing else that the new job is going positively xxx 

Bexter, lottie, kazza, Tricia and everyone else,  hope you are all OK. 

Afm. Norman is still in there!!!!  Yep I am way too comfy. I am now 41+1 arghhhhhh so much for being early... I am also mahoooooooooosive!!!! I am going to be induced on Sunday and can then take up to 36 hours for labour to start and if still nothing then c section which I would rather not have mainly cos we have 2 very 'affectionate' little doggies and I'm not sure how they will be scar wise and jumping. 

Anyway as soon as they're is news in shall let you know 

Love you lots 

Jules 
Xxxxx


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## tricia1012

Best of luck jules ! You've just made him far to snug in there  can't wait to see some pics of him . Hope labour goes smoothly for you 😘


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## poppy05

Evening lovelies


Its so quiet on here now, i dont like it!    i miss my girls   


I thought i'd just pop in to give you a little update
We had our stage 1 extended as there were a couple of issues raised which required a home visit from social worker, it was nothing major, they wanted to speak to me a bit more in depth about my anxiety i suffered last year after my last failed tx, and about my infertility.
Anyway good news is we got a call on thurs to say we have got through to stage 2!!   
So we have our 3 day prep course beginning on may 11th, then the home study begins, stage 2 is a 16 week process, so fingers crossed we get to panel.   


Sending much love to you all  would be lovely to hear how you are all doing


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## K.Notman

Good afternoon Whippers!

*Poppy*- Glad you handled the little set-back in your stride and are on the right path for Stage 2. It sounds like a lot of jumping through hoops but you know it will all be worth it. We may well go down the adoption route for a sibling in a few years so it's great to hear your progress, it sounds like a lot of waiting again, we really do have to practice our patience don't we! How are you generally though? Still managing with work despite not really enjoying it? Are you still getting out walking to shed some pounds (ready for the summer wardrobe!)? Enjoying planning the birthday celebrations for later this year? It's my sister's 40th next year and we are having a big family weekend away which will be fantastic. How is your sister-in-law getting on with her twins, I bet she is big now!

*Jules*- So you finally made it! What a journey since the start of that Whippers Part one thread! CONGRATULATIONS! I'm so glad I have been able to share it with you and am really grateful for the support you've given me. I know you'll be on hand for all the advice to help me get through what's to come. Now to rest and look after yourself and Norman on the outside! See you soon xxx

*Becky*- How are you getting on with the reading hun? There is a lot of information on this FF site and lots of people sharing their stories of making the decision to try DE. I think you are right that you would always wander "What If" if you never gave it a try. Obviously I didn't have a choice so it was different for me but I sincerely think that with the success rates so high, it really can be your chance to be a Mummy so it's worth every penny. Please just ask if you have any questions, I'm always here to help.

*Chixy*- I know we've been in touch but I'm always thinking of you. Not sure if you'll be reading up on these threads but we are all here for you so don't feel you have to keep things bottled in or cope on your own. Let us know how you are feeling and we will all help. Lots of love.

*Zana & Hopeful *- as I said in my last post, we are all here for you too. Sending you prayers and hugs.

Hello to the *Whippers Mummies *out there. To think that things are coming around to the 1year birthdays in a few months! I bet it's flown by and the cliché of "they grow so fast" is very true. I'm still so thankful that your fertility journeys were successful and that we were there together in the early days.

AFM,
Well I'm 32 weeks ish and starting to feel the effects of third trimester. Not much room left in the bump now and I'm feeling quite stretched- luckily no stretch-marks though as I had fairly lose skin from weight-loss and I've been using bio-oil every day! I've had a bit of trouble with the ol' constipation and heart-burn but nothing major. I'm still incredible lucky to be having an 'easy' pregnancy. I have got a trapped nerve at the top of bump which hurts like hell when it pinches then leaves a tingly/numb feeling, but I can cope with this.
I have taken up swimming on a Friday afternoon and get out most weekends walking. I've also been doing my pregnancy DVDs (yoga/pilates/low-impact work-out) so am feeling better for getting some activity in. Although I know I'll have my work cut out to get back to pre-fertility treatment weight after the birth, but this is my chance to enjoy the freedom of being fat as long as I'm healthy, so I'm not in any rush to get back pounding the streets!
I'm going to pack my hospital bag this week just in case. I'd rather have it ready and not need it than need it and not be ready! I read a good statistic the other day that only 6% of births happen on their due-date! Ha ha ha. I'm quite happy waiting a bit longer though even though we are ready. Ralph hasn't been able to get any specific help yet through GP and keeps been pushed from one agency to another as it's all a bit vague. He has been very good on readying the 'tips for Dads' type email updates I get. I also borrowed a library book about 'expecting a baby' written by the "one born every minute" team and he has read bits of that to have a bit of fore-warning!

We enjoyed a nice mini-break to Rome for our 10th wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't much of a break though as we crammed a lot in whilst I'm still able (LOTS of walking!). Saw all the things we wanted to see- it's amazing seeing things in the flesh that you've seen so many times on the TV. It was unseasonable hot though which didn't help but we still loved it. We know it will be some time before we get another holiday. I'm still going to continue working at the family firm for as long as possible. Maybe go down to part-time next month so I can still keep up with my duties but take it a bit easier. The beauty of working for my Dad is that it is all so flexible. Ralph's work are very good with paternity leave too and happy for him to work right up the birth, then having the 2 weeks leave rather than having to book specific dates now. So we are quite chilled out compared to how it could be- but that's me all over, lol!

Anyway, wishing you all health & happiness. Keep us posted on news.


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## poppy05

Lovely to hear from you Kirstie
wow 32 weeks already!    my sil is 34 weeks so very close, she is surprisingly small considering its twins, she keeps saying how massive she is, but in all honesty her bump is tiny, she doesnt even look 34 weeks for a singleton, im sure she will get a growth spurt during the last few weeks, but she is very lucky to have remained so small  she hasnt gained weight anywhere except her tum.
Im glad you had a lovely time in Rome, must of been nice to get in one last trip before the fun of being parents begins.
I am very well thanks for asking, work is fine, im alot more settled now, it took a while after my time off last year to get back into the swing of things, but im enjoying work ar the moment.
Yes i have been busy planning my birthday, ive organised a big family/friends lunch on the actual day, then the following weekend we are off to brighton with friends, i think theres 11 of us going, so that will be nice, i have made a bit of a boo boo though, i have booked us onto a course on 23rd may and we are still away, so i am trying to see if we can change it to another date.
My weightloss has been non existent since christmas, i just cant get back into it, however i have only gained 4lb since my 2 stone loss, and i have started back on slimming world today funnily enough, i know i can lose it, i just havent had much motivation to do so, its been quite stressful waiting to hear from the adoption agency and im a terrible comfort eater, but we must get back to it now.
And we will bet back to our walking, now the evenings are lighter we can take the dogs over the park after dinner, our circuit is just under 2 miles, so if we can try and do that at least 5 times a week we should be ok.


Take care lovely xxxx


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## K.Notman

Poppy- Sounds like you are in a really good place at the moment.  The lighter evenings and optimism of Spring is good for getting out and about and active.  Good luck with Slimming World.  Your birthday plans sound great fun, I'm sure you can reschedule your course and it will all be ok.... "Don't worry, bout a ting', cause every little ting' is gonna be alright...."


----------



## tricia1012

Hi ladies  

Jules - well done lovely !! He is gorgeous 😍

Poppy - hi Hun I'm so happy things are going well for you !! It's going to be one very lucky baby that's going to get two great mummies like you both I'm sure you'll fky through the next stages . Best of luck x
Your birthday plans sound great hope you have a lovely time  

Kirstie - wow 32 weeks already where is time going ! Defo embrace the fuller figure  I did lol I didn't stop eating 😂 it's good for the baby !! 
The next few weeks will fly by I bet your so excited get lots of rest now  

Hi to everyone else hope your all doing well xx

So my two are 1 next month  can you believe it !! How quick was that ! I still pinch myself I can't believe there ours , Of course I've planned an ott party for them they won't have a clue but I couldn't resist


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## BeckyA

good afternoon lovely whippers,

firstly *jules*, so many congrats on little James's (final) arrival!!

*kirstie*, time is flying fast...it will be you soon. hope you enjoy the last months of your pregnancy.

wow, is it one year already *tricia*? of course you should have an OTT party, it's a milestone!! I guess that also means that *kazza* and *lottie*'s little ones are coming up for 1 as well!!

*poppy*, good to hear your update and well done on getting through to stage 2, hope it all goes swimmingly for you. and the birthday plans sound fabulous!!

AFM, well, after some months of careful thought, we have decided to try donor eggs one time to see if it works. We came to the conclusion that we would be thinking "what if?" for the rest of our lives if we didn't, and that for us having a child is more important than genetics. Having said that, for me in particular it has been difficult to come to terms with that part, as you well know. 
So anyway, last Friday we went to the clinic to start the process off. In Spain, donation is anonymous (unlike the UK), we can only choose donor on hair, eye and skin colour, and blood type. That is all we will ever know. They think we will probably be doing the treatment in July, we are going back mid-May for the next appointment to sign consent and get my meds (mainly hormone patches, no injections for me this time hoorah!).


----------



## poppy05

Becky I'm so happy to read your update, and I'm so proud of you for being able to move onto a different way of making your family, i wish you so much luck, and please please keep us updated,


----------



## K.Notman

Tricia- good to hear from you and I don't blame you for arranging big party.  Your little miracles are so special and people are always quoting "they grow up so fast" so why not cherish every milestone.

Becky- I know we've messaged each other but it really is fantastic news that you are going to give DE a go.  I know you didn't go into this lightly with all your reading and research.  As you say, if you want a family that much, you should be willing to try anything to get there. Are they going to do anything specific with the treatment e.g. scratch (they told me this could jeopardise getting my lining thick enough as I struggled with this so didn't have it), embryo glue (I had that), Clexane (I had that) or anything to do with NK cells (did you have these checked at all?).  I'm guessing this is going to be the "throw the kitchen sink at it" cycle.  Now that you are 'fee paying' and have more choice.  Well, I wish you every success in the world and look forward to your updates.  The hormone patches are fine so I'm sure you'll take all of it in your stride.

AFM, not much to report.  Scan last week showed that baby's growth has slowed down so I'm having another scan this and next week to look at comparisons.  It's good they are keeping an eye on me though and I'm not really worried.  Still feeling good although tummy is quite stretched now, so I know these last few weeks are going to be the uncomfortable ones.  And pretty much EVERYONE I've spoken to have quoted "these weeks will fly" and "enjoy your rest/sleep whilst you can" (sorry Tricia you are one of millions!).  I just smile and nod whilst secretly wanting to punch them in the face! this is after already answering the "do you know what you are having" and the "when's it due"- I really just want to point to a sign with it all written on, lol!  I know I'm going to get loads more cliches too "it'll come when it's ready", "just see what happens" etc etc.  Well, we've been wanting this for so long and I know it's part of the process which I'm so incredibly grateful for so I'm not complaining really, everyone means well- just wish I had  a £1 for each one, I'd be loaded!  

Anyway, have a good week everyone xxx


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## tricia1012

Lol Kirstie ! People used to say it to me all the time and I used to laugh it off then I went 7 months without more than 2 hours a night 🙈 
Now I get the omg twins ! Are they yours ? Wow double trouble ? You've got your hands full ! The best one is are they identical !! I'm like Yeah apart from the willy 😂😂 can't win lol


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## tricia1012

Best of luck Becky  I hope everything works out for you x


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## K.Notman

Lol Tricia, they are great lines!  I guess that's the nature of us Brits and our small talk- just like the weather! x


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## jules418

Hello beautiful ladies 

Sorry I have been awol for a bit. 

Becky,  I am so pleased to read your news and I know this must have taken a lot of thought and mental processing.  I remember saying to kirstie way back when that the genetics are such a small part of it,  your goodness will flow in to baby and i truely believe your dna will also seep in.  Plus your beliefs and morals will be taught as he/she grows xxx

Poppy, yayyy so pleased that you are going through to the next stage yayy you will be brilliant mummies xxx

Tricia, wow 1 yr old whete had that time gone!!!  big celebrations fabulous,  what have you got planned? 

Kirstie,  not long to go and yes I agree about the comments.  I had to stop looking at ** at the end as was getting well peed off with people telling me to hurry up and push errr yeah like it is that simple!!! 

Hi to everyone else out there hope you are all OK xx

Afm. As most of you will know from ** and private messages, I have given birth to a beautiful baby boy, called James Robert.  He was born at 3:20 am 15th April and weighed a huge 10lb 5Oz. Wasn't the smoothest of journeys but he made it out safely. I was induced 10 days after due date but no movement so it was denied they would burst my waters 4 days of being no bed in the delivery center but not being allowed home (torture) I finally had a bed,  now 15 days over due.... So waters broken and placed on drop to induce contractions,  bloody hell they get painful, hello gas and air lol after a few hours and still only 2cm dilated lots of pain I went for epidural, this didn't work so another anethesist came in and did another one which did work but only for about 2hrs. Baby was now quite distressed and had tried to head butt his way out..... Yes I was still 2cm so baby had them swollen my cervix from paper thin to 4cm thick. It was decided that there was no way he was coming out that way so emergency c section was issued.  20 mins later was in theatre waiting for bob to get changed into his scrubs.  They were increasing my epidural drugs but they were having no effect boooo so had to have general anaesthetic.  After coming round also found out they had to also use forceps to get him out lol he really did not want to come out. 
Any way he is fine and I am heeling well also only 4lb away from my pre pregnancy weight boom thank you breast feeding lol although sometimes my boobs are life sometimes ears ha ha. 

So that is my news loved having you ladies in my weird but happy journey 

Love you all 
Xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## poppy05

Hi ladies


I can't believe its 1.15am and im sat here waiting for my nails to dry!!    i will bet to bed at some point! 
Anyway while im sat here i thought i'd pop in see how you all are?


Jules, wow he really did not want to come out did he? i have never heard of anyone needing forcepts with a c sec delivery!    glad he arrived safely and you are both doing well, he looks like a gorgeous bundle of scrumminess, can't believe he will be a month old next week! 


Kirstie how are you doing sweets? you will soon be posting your good news in here too    such an exciting time.


Becky how are things going with you hon?   


tricia i can't believe the twins are 1 already, how quick has that gone? they are such gorgeous bubbies and are the image of you! when is their actual birthday? can't wait to see party pics.


AFM, we have our 3 day prep course this week for stage 2, i can't wait to get going again, it feels like we have had a huge stop gap and ive lost my motivation, ive not read any of my books we were recommended, not researched anything online, there are some online learning modules to read through and we haven't done any of it! so i just need to get going again and find my motivation, im sure i will be fine, i just hate all the stop starting, and the not knowing whats coming next.
It my 40th on sat, so i am looking forward to the start of many celebrations, beginning with a family/friends lunch on sat (20 of us) followed by drinks at our local pub, then i have a week to get over my hangover before we all head down to Brighton for more shenanigans! then another week to sober up and then i am off out to dinner and drinks with my girls from work! 
Then i guess i will be back on the wagon to continue my adoption journey.
Oh and amongst all this fun and frolics my twin nephews will be entering the world on the 19th may, well thats if they dont come before, sil has her c sec booked in for 19th, but they could come anytime, i can't wait to meet them now, they haven't told anyone what names they have chosen, and im dying to know now!   
Damn nails are still tacky!!!!! 
Sending you all my love
poppy xxx


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## K.Notman

Good morning Whippers!  Well I had to find our group in the archive as we’ve been so quiet lately.  I’m glad we are still in touch on ******** though and I can keep up with everyone’s news!

Well as you all probably know, we are very proud to announce the birth of beautiful Bethany Faith Emily on 26th May at 2.55am weighing 6lb 3oz.  So two weeks early but we were ready and waiting.  It was an emergency caesarean section in the end as she was in the transverse position when my waters broke. But it was fine and no complications.

All of our midwife/Heath Visitor appointments have been fine and she is growing fast.  We have had so many well-wishes, cards, gifts, visitors it’s been over-whelming and we are ever grateful to have all the loving, caring people in our lives who have supported us through this long journey to get our miracle baby.  I really still can’t believe she is here. It all seems a dream and I keep pinching myself! 

I am so grateful every day for the wonders of science and for all of the people involved in the development of fertility treatment to make this possible and I’m thankful for God for providing the miracle of life.  I know all of you have had your own journey and some of you are still on it.  I’m very glad that we have all met and that our journeys have crossed, as I couldn’t have coped as well as I have without the support of the Whippers.  Love you all xxxxxxxx


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## Zana37

Dear girls,

It has been a very long time since I have last updated you on me and for that I apologise. I have thought about you girls many, many times. On how you were progressing in your lives and on your goals in regards to motherhood. 
In regards to me&#8230; so as I had mentioned in my last post, I was hiding my pregnancy and was in a brand new job at a bank. Well what seemed to be a great opportunity for my career became a true nightmare that hunted me for the first six month of my pregnancy. My pregnancy progressed well. I was very active training at the gym and could be very fit basically during all my pregnancy. However the work didn't progress as well. My new manager was never happy or satisfied with my work. I was not interacting with him, instead info on me would be gathered through people he assigned to mentor me.
I started to work and the training period was quiet chaotic as the person who was supposed to train me lost his father and I had to be delegated to different people. I didn't have the systems up and running either and was sick for three days in the first two weeks. After about one month I started I was called for a meeting by my manager and told that he expected me to have a much better performance and that I should have master the main system. Also, he was very dissatisfied about my knowledge of the product and services. I was really chocked as he also mentioned he expected me to have mastered the main system after three weeks I had started, however I didn't have the system available until two weeks after I started. Furthermore, in any way was my product knowledge put at test. I told him that I was really surprised about his expectations considering the unorganized training period. He also mentioned he based his words on what he heard. However, I was constantly having the feeling that no matter how hard I worked it was never good enough. After, some weeks I was put to work in a new system, which I thought was going well, and yet again my work was criticized. In fact, he told me he expected me to master that new system after two weeks. So I went to talk to the person who was going to train me about this and that we needed to reach that goal, and she in turn told me, this was not possible as this system needed more time and that she was going to talk to him. I started to wonder about my situation and becoming more and more stressed. At the advice of my union I told my manager about my pregnancy the week after, when I had been working in the bank for 2, 5 month. My manager seemed happy for me. Then came another meeting where he told me he was very dissatisfied with my performance after 3 weeks in the new system. Once again I was shocked. Then, one week after, he called me for a follow up meeting in the end of the day. When I entered the room he told me this time it would be also with HR. It was not a nice meeting and I even got a written warning threatening me to be fired if performance didn't improve. I felt that I had two people after me pointing out only negative aspects on my work. I told how difficult I thought it was to please my manager with my work. I have never before experienced this treatment or type of judgment. I told I had never worked in a back office and that this was clear in my CV and that I mentioned that in the job interview. I pointed that I was always positive about my work even though I felt that many times I was treated unfairly by my manager. That there were people working for a longer time than me in the team that could not even perform the tasks I was performing. I pointed that sometimes I needed help with some new tasks and experienced animosity from some of the persons that should give me the training. I was surprised by the HR person in the meeting that tried to imply that maybe I had difficulty to fit into the culture of the company or the dynamics of the team. And my manager even said that I had said that I could deal with difficult persons in my interview. I told him that I had not difficulties to fit into the team and that I still believed to be able to deal with difficult people but that here what was in questions was how these factors where affecting their view of my performance and therefore I had to point it out. I felt very distressed at that meeting and had the clear impression that the objective was to have me fired no matter what. I was told that they would do an "Action Plan" for me as a last chance.
He said that we would have weekly meetings for me to have feedback on my performance and I requested that those who would train me or assist me in the action plan would be present. On those meetings only negative aspects were being pointed out even if it was minimal things that even other people would do, they would write down to point it out. I asked about the things I did right, if they wouldn't mention and I was told by my manager that they would only point the negative feedback and that it was up to me to take note of the positive things to bring to the meeting. Honestly, it made me feel that I am in was in a hopeless position. It was a living a nightmare, where I slept very little because I was constantly thinking about the situation I was in. I always hoped to have a pregnancy time that I could enjoy but instead my life was a real nightmare. I didn't sleep at night, I would go to work and come home to study and prepare myself to be evaluated and tested according to the new evaluation plan my manager had done for me.
My doctor told me at that time she was worried because I presented signs of stress and she asked me if it was not better to take some time off from work but everything made me afraid of the consequences. Even when I was sick I felt that I had to go to work. Finally when I was at around 6 month pregnancy I started to suffer from sever pain in my ribs due to the baby pressuring and kicking me and also sever varicose pain in my right leg. I had difficulty to seat or stand for more than half hour but yet I was struggling to go to work every day. I basically would go beck home every day crying while driving from pain and distress. It became so bad that the doctor wrote a letter for me to go on sick leave until the due date. I could feel my manager got ****** off because he had prepared a 1,5 hour evaluation to present performance reasons to fire me with just cause. This was to avoid being accused of firing me due to my pregnancy, which I clearly felt was a reason. He sent me home with intense pain on the day of that evaluation, and in that same day the doctor told me not to risk my health during pregnancy because of work. It was the last day since I have been to work. I was not fired but it took me about two and half months to disconnect from the stress I had from work. The worse was to find out that he was ****** of with a colleague who offered to drive me home in the morning he sent me home. I was in so bad pain that I couldn't seat in a car and drive for a whole week. When she returned to work after driving me home, she was called for a meeting and reprehended for that.

&#8230; Today I woke up very early, couldn't sleep. I many times find myself thinking about requesting a meeting with HR before I return and ask for help to be relocated for a different department. Also, my manager have been sending me sms to try to find out if I already have given birth, which really irritates me as this is non of his business, he will eventually be informed when I send the papers to HR after the birth. It is like a never ending story.

Now here I am 41+2 pregnant, wishing and hoping for the baby to decide to come out but this baby seems to love the hotel uterus ☺. I didn't gain much weight, only between 7,5-8Kg but the baby is weighing around 3,500 kg ☺. I also used a lot of Bio Oil, almond oil and fat cream during pregnancy and so far no stretch marks. 
I have done twice acupuncture and uterine massage with a private midwife but so far nothing happened yet. If I want the hospital can schedule for this week an inducement but I am not really sure what to do. They will call me today between 08:00-16:00.

*Jules* Congratulations on your little James Robert. How is he doing now? Jules you were also induced. What's your advice on that? To wait for the baby to decide on when to come or induce. They have two methods here. One with medicine, Angusta which changed name and the other to make a whole in the water bag where the baby is. My baby is VERY active and is already with the head positioned for birth. However I have only around 1 cm dilatation and not many contractions.

*Poppy *I can't wait to hear more about when you know when you son or daughter will arrive. Have you thought about how it will be in that moment when that precious child will be given to you?

*Kiristie* - Thank you so much for your support. So many times thought about writing you but my life was a living stress and when I would come home I would literally study, eat and sleep and the day after was like that. Congratulations on your baby. I am so happy for you!!!! How is the baby doing? I like the name Bethany "Faith". Think that she will probably be in the audience next time you have a presentation in the theatre ☺ 

Sorry for the VERY long update  Kisses for all


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## poppy05

Hey zana, how wonderful to hear from you  its lovely to see a post in here.
I am so so sorry for how you have been treated at work, its so unfair, no wonder you have suffered stress, im glad you got signed off for the rest of your pregnancy, its a time where you should be relaxed and enjoying it.
i am so happy to hear your pregnancy has progressed well, and i cant believe you are due to be a mummy any day now, hotel uterus needs to evict its lodger!!!  

I have no idea how it will feel when we are handed a child, i think it will feel surreal and like its not happening to me, it already feels very strange that we are even closer to that day now, we have our approval panel on 1st nov, but our social worker has said she wants us to get there earlier, so i think it could be mid-end oct!  
we are hoping for a young baby, and we will be fostering for the first bit, so the child wont be ours for a few weeks/months, but we feel doing the foster to adopt scheme is what we are destined for, it means less moves for the baby in care, and we get a younger child.
In the 20 years that ive been trying for a family i have never allowed myself to 'browse' baby items online, but in the last few weeks we have been looking at prams, cots, nursery bits, and its so weird, i feel like im shopping for someone else, i have to remind myself its for me! we havent bought anything yet, and wont until we are matched, but we have been told to get a shopping list together as things could potentially move quite fast once matched, we have been given a carseat, my sister in law recently had twins, and mothercare sent her 4 carseats instead of 2, so she has given us one, we have put it away, but god it was very strange seeing it in our house knowing its ours!!

Wishing you lots of luck for an easy birth, and cant wait to hear news of your little ones arrival.
Sending you my love, next time we speak you'll be a mummy!!! xxx 

Lots of love to anyone else who still reads here xxx


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## jules418

Hi Zana, 

So so so lovely to hear from you and to hear that you are full term wow that has flown by. 
Awful how you were treated at work, how long will you have off before you go back? Will you go back or look else where? 

I was induced they used a 24hr pessary, I was 2cm throughout after the 24hr check they left it in for 8 more hours still 2cm. So then they said they would need to break my waters. When a room eventually became available they broke my waters and placed me in a drip to bring on contractions. After 16hrs and so 2cm a swollen cervix they said I needed a c section. 
In hindsight and if I could have my time again I would request c section straight away.  James was such a big baby 4.7kg even after they cut me open he still didn't want to come out and they had to use forceps. They did sew me up nicely though and I recovered well. 
But it was all part of the experience and they are the experts. My main advice is to be chilled out. I was frustrated as was 42±1 but relaxed about it all 

Poppy. Hope it is bought forward and I can't wait to hear the update.  Love ya  babes 

Hi everyone else xxxx

Afm, James is an absolute dream,  super chilled out baby hardly cries (just when hungry or super tired or both lol) and he is gorgeous but I am biased lol. 
I am going or far too much and spending money we haven't got but hey ho James loves being out and about but now I need to find free things to do luckily the local park is great and Asda (supermarket Zana) do a massive cup of tea for 95p. James is 4.5 months now and we have just started him on solids,  pureed peas and pureed parsnip so far.  
Rocky and Mavis love him and Rocky is very protective.  

I live quite near kirstie so have met bethany a few times and she is a gorgeous munchkin.  We also managed a whipper meet up in London a couple of weeks ago and met lottie's twins who were also gorgeous and well behaved, especially as we were in one place for a long time. The lovely beckyA was also there so stole some over due hugs from her. It was a lovely day.  

Need to sort another one out for those that couldn't make it. 

Love to all

Jules 
Xxxxx


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## tricia1012

Hi ladies , 

Zana - I'm so sorry you had so much stress to deal with  great that you will meet up your little bundle any day now ! So exciting !!  

Poppy - eek ! It will all be happening soon it's going to be one very lucky baby that gets you two lovely mummies  

Jules, kirstie , lotie , kazza I love seeing all your posts and pics on ** ! Gorgeous bunch of bubbas  hope your all well 

My two are getting so big it's crazy , have to be honest it's full on they have so much energy ! But I wouldnt have it any other way we are so blessed ! They are proper cheeky little munchkins isabelle is def a bit of a diva 😂 she tells me off all the time and Archie is such a mummy's boy I love it although his dad's not to impressed lol . Lovely to see some posts on here it's the first time I've been in in ages . 

Love to everyone else hope your all well xx


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## poppy05

Hi girls


Im unsure if any of you still pop on and read here, but i thought i would just give a little update for you all.
We had our adoption panel this morning, and i am very pleased to say we got a big fat yes!!! the decision was unanimous, and we are both over the moon, it was very nerve wracking, and we both cried lots, but everyone on panel (all 10 of them   ) were really lovely and made us feel at ease.
So its only taken me 20 years to say this but ............. im going to be a mummy!!!!!!      


Hope everyone is ok? i miss you girls 


poppy xxx


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## jules418

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh Poppy, I am soooooo pleased for you both this has bought a happy tear to my eyes xxxx

So what happens next? 

Wooooooooooo what news top go to bed on!!!!

Well done you will be amazing mummies xxx

Jules xxx


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## hopeful1985

Amazing news!!!! OMG!!!! Delighted for you both!!!! Xxxxx


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## poppy05

Wow i didnt expect such quick replies hahaha thankyou so much girls   


jules the next step is getting our bubba    
we have been dual approved foster carers/adopters so we can do foster to adopt, which means our baby will come to us alot sooner than with straight adoption, we have been approved for 2 children, so it makes life easier if we want to adopt a sibling in the future.
We have been told it could be quite quick as there arent many foster to adopt carers, there is a small chance of it happening before christmas, but we arent getting too excited just yet, it would be amazing, but we are just grateful to have got this far, our social worker will now begin family finding for us, and in the meantime we just have to try and be patient and enjoy the last few weeks/months of being a family of 2! xxx


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## 2ForJoy

OMG I've just jumped on here while tea is cooking and OMG!  Yay Poppy! I'm so thrilled for you hun 

(PS- I owe you a PM... I will get there xx)


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## hopeful1985

Hi Ladies.... I don't know if anyone is still progressing with the ivf but i am signed up to start again January. Will let u know how i get on. Been feeling low but hopefully this will help me find my smile again xxx


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## poppy05

Ah hopeful im so pleased you are trying again, please keep us updated on your progress.
Enjoy a lovely christmas, and i pray that 2017 brings you your dreams    
I am always about on here, so give me a shout if you need a chat hun. xxx


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## hopeful1985

Thanks hun. Let us know when ur placement happens. So excited for u xxx


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## K.Notman

Morning All,

I know I've already congratulated you via text Poppy but just wanted to say again how truly happy I am for you both.  Such a long journey and here you are in the home straight.  I really hope you are not waiting too long.  Big hugs all round.

Hopeful, I'm delighted for you too and can appreciate your apprehension. You still have a lot of support on here and we'll cycle with you. Remember to take things one thing at a time.  Sending you lots of PMA and hugs  

AFM, Bethany is an absolute treasure.  I'm still pinching myself every day to check that this isn't all a dream.  We are truly blessed with a beautiful little girl and I'm so grateful to our donor for letting this happen.  I've been preparing a photo book of the first 6 months to give for Christmas presents and got very emotional as I started it with "Our little bean was fertilished 29th April 2015, transferred to Mummy on 24th September 2015 and came into the world on 26th May 2016".  It seems so much happened in the years leading up to this with the previous cycles and yet these last 6 months have flown past!  People are constantly asking if we'd have another but we simply can't afford another cylce with Donor Eggs.  Having seen everything that Poppy has gone through with foster/adoption, I don't know if we've got it in us to go down that route either.  So it looks like Beth will be a well and truly loved only child.

I hope everyone else who follows is well.  I'm hoping to hear news from Zana soon?


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## poppy05

Hello my lovely girls


I have some news for you all    we have been linked to a baby!!!!! a little pink one, she hasn't been born yet, she is due next week! we are in total shock not only how quick this has been but the fact we are getting a newborn, she will be coming to us as an early permanence placement, which basically means we will be her foster carers for the first bit, once the court has issued a placement order it will switch to adoption, it could take a few months, but we dont have any concerns about her being placed back with the birth parents, we felt this was the best route to take as it means less moves for the baby, usually they would be in foster care and be moved again to their forever home, we are just doing both parts.
We are so excited, we have finished the nursery and i keep going and sitting in there, its so surreal, i have baby clothes, nappies, a cot, everything! and its all mine!! i never ever thought this would happen for me.
I am finishing work next week, and i cant wait to have a year off and spend it with this beautiful little girl who is about to enter our lives, i just cant wait to meet her, everytime i think about it my heart skips a beat.


I hope you are all ok and getting ready for the big man in red to visit!
Kirstie are you doing panto this year? 


Sending you all my love as always
poppy xx


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## Mrs_F

Hi whippets, I've not posted in forever, but I randomly logged on and have just seen your news Poppy - CONGRATULATIONS! what wonderful news. All the very best of luck with the coming weeks and months, what a lucky little pink coming home to two mummies who love her and long for her so much! 

Hello to everyone else... I was part of the original Sept/Oct 2014 cycle which resulted in my wild baby Flo, now nearly 18months and VERY spirited! 

X


----------



## poppy05

Hey Mrs F, how lovely to hear from you, glad to see your LO is doing well, it seems like forever ago that we were all cycling together! i still miss our lovely little group xx


----------



## jules418

OMFG!!!!  This is the best news EVER!!!!  I am so pleased for you both and will make the bestest mommies xxx
Can't wait to hear about her arrival 
Best Christmas ever.... 
Bit of mommy advice,  if you haven't already invest in a tommee tippee prep machine best invention ever (especially for middle of night feeds) also super handy if you ever give 'poppy' gravy on her dinner.  5oz is perfect lol.  Rocky and Mavis love it.  

We are all good,  took James to meet Santa for 1St time today,  see Fsocial media B for photo.... Hilarious I can't stop laughing at James' face. 

Love to you all 

Hey MrsF xxx 

Jules 
Xxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Hey jules, thanks babe, yes we have a prep machine, cant wait to use it!! 
I saw yr pics of meeting santa, so cute, i cant wait for that, so many things to look forward to.
lovely to hear from you


----------



## K.Notman

Poppy- OMFG!!!     This is the most amazing news ever!  I completely agree that it is so surreal and will be for months where you never quite believe it and it feels like a dream and you are scared to wake up. I’m absolutely delighted for you and you can’t wipe the grin from my face, just wiped a tear from my eye too! I’m so excited for you and can’t wait to meet the little one.  Big hugs to you both wonderful Mummies xxx

Jules- Can’t wait for our next meet up.  James is not so little anymore, mind you Beth isn’t either these days although I bet she is still a dot compared to James.  

Mrs_F How lovely to hear from you.  I know this board went slow for a while but I love checking in and seeing what people are up to so please keep posting. 

Hopeful- Have you got any news?  Any dates that you are working towards?  What tx are you doing this time and are there any differences to last time?  

2 For Joy- What’s new with you hun?

All other Whippers, how are we getting on?  Sending you all my love.  I think about you often.


----------



## hopeful1985

Fab news Poppy. What a christmas present!!!!

Glad u are all doing well and what an exciting time u all have in the next few weeks! Plenty of grotto visits 

I am doing good will start long protocol next period which looks like christmas day :/ 

Xxxxxx


----------



## jules418

Wow what a Christmas morning hopeful!!! 

I shall be thinking of you when I'm make my Christmas wish this year and may the miracle of Christmas continue for 2017 for you xxx

Poppy,  had baby pink arrived yet? What's the news / progress? Xxxx 

Kirstie,  looking forward to seeing you on Monday hun xx 

Merry Christmas everyone off to attempt mince pies for first time eek. 

Love you all 

Jules
Xxxx


----------



## 2ForJoy

OOOMMMMGGGGG!! Just nipped on here before hitting the sack and saw your news Poppy! I'm actually sat here crying with happiness for you sweetie, this is amazing news!  I literally can't wait to hear more!!

AFM- Have had a LOT going on here, I think best I pop back on over the weekend when i've had more than 4 hours sleep ahaha!  DH is at his works xmas do tonight and little man is restless with a poorly belly so whilst he's snoozing I will get my head down too.

I really hope we can all catch up again?  I miss you all! xx

PS... Poppy.... YAYYYYYAYYYYYYAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## poppy05

Thankyou so much lovely ladies   
baby was due yesterday, no news yet but i will update you when she's here.


Hopeful, wow praying af arrives on time for you hunni    keep us posted.


2forjoy, wishing little man better, hope you managed to get some shut eye   


kirstie and jules, enjoy your get together tomorrow   


sending love as always to my beautiful girls   
poppy xxxx


----------



## 2ForJoy

I hope you lovely ladies all had a wonderful Christmas?!  Despite the usual bugs we had a nice and fairly chilled one but I am looking forward to replacing chocolate with veggies!

Poppy- any news lovely?!

Big hugs to all


----------



## poppy05

Hi all


Just a quick post to let u all know that baby pops arrived on thurs afternoon, she weighed 7lb 6oz and is beautiful, we have had her since she was 7 hours old and we all came home yesterday.
I cannot describe this feeling, i cannot believe im a mummy! xxx


----------



## jules418

Oh hun what a way to start a new year. 

MASSIVE congratulations to you both,  very much deserved and you will be amazing patents. 

So pleased to see this update I have been checking daily ha ha. 

Big love 
Jules
Xxxx


----------



## 2ForJoy

Poppy I literally cannot contain my excitment for you all!  What a fabulous way to enter the new year!  I hope you thoroughly enjoy every moment of becoming the wonderful mummy you are.  CONGRATULATIONS! xxx


----------



## 2ForJoy

Just checking in to see how everyone is?

Hows little poppy, poppy? xx


----------



## hopeful1985

Hey ladies just checking in. I am currently 6dp3dt ahhhhh  i had a 5 cell embie and a 6 cell embie put in. Not sure how i feel except anxious. Furiously checking my pants every time i pee!!! Was i this mad last time?


Hope u are all well. Would love to hear an update Poppy xxxxx


----------



## jules418

Hi hopeful, 

Lovely to hear from you and lovely news have everything crossed for you.  Yes you were ha ha ha we all were.  I didn't wear dark pants for the whole time!!!! 

Hope it works out for you hunni please keep us updated with your progress. Have you joined any cycle groups this time around? If so what are they like? Don't look at the 2ww groups they are all cray cray ha ha 

When is your test date? 

We are all good thanks,  Jimmy crawled properly (I.e. More than once followed by face plant) tonight was so pleased as Bob got to see it as he has missed most firsts. 

How is everyone else? Poppy how are things with you and your little addition? 

Hi all love you loads 

Jules 
Xxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Guys help!!! Been really naughty, tested far too early and got a BFP at 8dp3dt.... could it be true? Anyone know anything xxxx


----------



## jules418

Oooooo hopeful,  you are naughty!!!!! 
What a lovely result though so will let you off he he. Xxx

My understanding is that you can get a false negative but not a false positive so it looks like that little beanie had stuck yayyyy. 

Now you must take it easy,  when do you need to phone the result in? I assume you will be doing another test (I assume you will do multiple lol) you have over 3 weeks til scan day so dint over exert your self xxxx

Well done little eggies xxxx

Jules
Xxxx


----------



## poppy05

OMG hopeful what fantastic news, congratulations, im so so happy for you, please keep us posted, you deserve this so much    


Hi everyone how are you all? 
So little poppy is 6 weeks old today!    time is just flying by, she is the most amazing little girl, we adore her, i feel so proud when we are out in public and people are cooing over her, love it even more when people say she looks like me!    she has started smiling now and chats to herself, its so cute, she is so alert, im just loving every second of being a mummy, she was most definately worth the wait. 


Lots of love to you all my lovely ladies xxxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Today is OTD and I am BFP  

Scan booked for 27th xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## jules418

Fab news hun you must be over the moon it is such as stressful wait.  Not long until scan so that is great 2 weeks although I'm sure it will feel like forever. 

So excited for you yay yay yay.

Poppy, glad to hear little pop is settling in well how quick have those weeks gone!!!!  when will you hear about adoption is there a set time frame? 

Love to everyone 

Jules xxxx


----------



## BeckyA

OMG ladies, I have just logged on for the first time in months and it is good news all round!

*poppy*, i literally just squealed at the laptop, so pleased for you and your wife. So much happiness!

*hopeful*, lots of congrats hun on your bfp!

Hey everyone else!

Afm, well the reason i have logged on as that we have decided to have one last shot at egg donation. I basically spent the whole of my 6 months away from all things fertility, thinking about all things fertility. We are at the same clinic, and they have chosen a different donor who is proven. Also having clexane injections after transfer. Start my patches next Tuesday with a view to collection and transfer week of 13th March. Wish me luck ladies! Xx


----------



## hopeful1985

Aw Becky how exciting!!! Welldone u, i know how hard it is to step back into this bubble when u have had a break.  Good luck babe xxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Becky im so happy to read you are giving it another go    i wish with all my heart and soul that this is your time, you deserve it so much, please keep us updated on your progress, and dont forget we are here for you during your tx, particularly the 2ww!!!   


Hopeful how are you doing my darling? not long until your scan, about 10 days i think?    been thinking of you,   


Jules, hows you babes? and how is that gorgeous bubba boy doing? 
To answer your question, tbh im unsure really, with F2A the LA is given 26 weeks to complete all assessments and evidence for court, so our final hearing is scheduled for mid june, however our case is being fast tracked, i cant say to much on here, but we are hoping it will be end april/may, there is a hearing in april, which is a "have we got everything in place for final hearing" hearing! 
Then the placement order will be granted and things will switch from fostering to adoption, we will go to matching panel and then we can apply for our adoption order, i really really do hope that little poppy will be ours by about aug. 
Its very strange as most days we forget we still have a long way to go, and she feels like ours, we love her like shes ours, she is such an amazing little person, we just want this all done now, we want to be able to call her our daughter, and for her to have our name, its a very drawn out process, but we wouldnt change a thing, and im sure it will all be worth it in a few months. 


Hi to anyone else who still pops by   


Lots of love poppy xxxx


----------



## K.Notman

Hello everyone!  Exciting times!

Hopeful, Many congratulations on your   that is fantastic news.  Now the waits between scans.  It's horrible and seems never ending.  We are just keeping our fingers crossed for you that you get your little precious bean developing nicely  .  We still call Bethany our "Little Bean".

Becky, I'm really pleased you are giving it another go.  I had the clexane up to 12 weeks pg.  Good luck using a proven donor  , everything seems to be in order and now it's up to mother nature.  I'm praying she is kind to you.  Keep us posted hun and keep the faith   xxx

Poppy, I'm so delighted for you having your little poppy at last.  It is such a wonderful time and all the cliches are so true: time really does fly.  Take as many photos as you can as they change so much so quickly.  It makes me laugh when people say Beth looks like me too.  I think a lot of people just say that.  She is the spitting image of Ralph though.  I'm always wondering what the donor looked like.  I hope the various hearings go smoothly for you.  Sending lots of love xxx

Jules, Lovely to read that you are still routing for everyone  !  Enjoying the maternity leave whilst it lasts! I bet Jimmy is doing more than just crawling now!  Beth climbs up everything so I don't think it will be long before she is walking.  She is 9 months old on Sunday and I love how she is developing her own personality.

Hello to everyone else who is still following.  Hugs to all the whippers xxx


----------



## BeckyA

Thanks all, just a quick update, had first scan today and lining at 6mm, they seem happy with that. Another scan next week, and then hopefully Ec the week after that.

Hope you are all doing well.
Xx


----------



## K.Notman

That's fab news Becky!  I hope you have nice comfy squishy lining ready to receive your precious little embie.  Eeek, sooooo excited for you.  Sending lots of PMA xxx


----------



## jules418

Hi all,

BeckyA, I am so pleased for you,  I have everything crossed for you both xxx

Hopeful,  how was your scan on Monday? Hope everything is progressing nicely xxx


All OK with me, having meetings about returning to work boo.

Jules
Xxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Hi Becky, best of luck babes. We r all behind u 100%

I ended up having scan on thurs and could see one sac.... have anothwr scan booked for tomorrow and i will be 6w6d so hopefully will see a bit more x x


----------



## jules418

Oh hun so pleased for you. Sending lots of growing thoughts your way.  Come on saccy let's get that bean on the go xxx


----------



## poppy05

Brilliant becky, me and tiny pops are rooting for you, this is your time i just know it!    xxx


Hopeful, yay thats fab news, good luck for tomorrow, come on little beanie show mummy you're there tomorrow, come and lets us know babes    xxx


Hey jules and kirstie, hope you're both ok?   


My mini pops had her injections yesterday, omg no one told me i'd feel like my heart was being ripped out! jeez ive never heard a cry like that before, i was in bits, vicki was so good but i was a useless mess! 
plenty of mummy cuddles today.
can you believe we are in march already? flip flop season is round the corner!!!!   


lots of love to you all
poppy xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Aw poor tiny pops! lots of mummy cuddles to feel better!

I had a scan today. I am 6w6d measuring 6w3d :/ hopefully not a problem. Doctor seemed happy with scan and we saw the heartbeat! Trying not to get ahead of myself as I have been here before. Have my 8 weeks scan booked for 13th so please god it will all go smoothly.

I am too petrified to enjoy it or relax.

I do have the constant nausea and being sick once or twice a day - luckily so far I have escaped the hyper sickness  dreaded HG i had last time! xxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Hopeful im so pleased to hear everything went well at your scan today, i know the next few weeks are going to be very scarey and stressful for you, i wish i could help you to keep calm and relaxed but i know all too well how you are feeling, just try to think positive thoughts, rub that tummy and send growing vibes to that little embie, each day is a day closer to meeting that bubba xxxx


----------



## K.Notman

Hopeful- congratulations hunni!  It's so scary jumping over each hurdle but a relief with each one too.  That heartbeat is so precious and each scan picture is hard to believe.  I had NO symptoms so relied heavily on the reassurance of each appointment. Look after yourselves


----------



## BeckyA

Thanks for your continued support ladies! Second Scan all good today, lining at 10mm, so all good to go for next week, donor is having EC on Monday and we will hopefully be transferring on Thursday 16th.

Excellent news on your scan *hopeful*, hope you are doing ok and have been able to relax.

Poor little mini-pops *poppy*, hope she is doing well. Saw you got the flip flops out!!


----------



## hopeful1985

Hi Becky

How are you lovely? How did the EC go? Hope you are resting nicely.

Im currently 8w3d - I saw bubba yesterday - nice strong heartbeat and was having a good wiggle. Furthest I have ever got

I bit the bullet and saw the doctor today to be referred to the midwife..... still extremely nervous but feeling like this could all actually happen and i may have my bubba!!!

I hope you ladies are all well xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## jules418

Omg hopeful I am literally crying with happiness here.  I have been so nervous for you and I am so so so chuffed whoop whoop    

BeckyA,  how are you hun is the ET still on for Thursday? 
Sending you sticky vibes babe xxx

Lots of love to you all 

Jules 
Xxxxx


----------



## BeckyA

Great news *hopeful*, so pleased for you. And hey*jules*, thanks both for asking.

Got phone call this afternooon, we got 14 eggs from our donor, of which 6 fertilised. Should be having a 3dt on Thursday if they all keep developing nicely!


----------



## jules418

Fantastic results BeckyA.  Will you have all 3 transfered? 

Will be thinking of you on Thursday xxx

Jx


----------



## K.Notman

Hopeful- That's brilliant news     .  The heartbeat starts making it seem more real but still so fragile and precious.  Now the long wait until the 12 week scan.  Just keep up with the good routines and think happy thoughts!

Becky- 6 fertilised sounds great  ! Good luck tomorrow  , I'll be thinking of you.  How many will you have transferred?  Do you get to know their grades? I hope you have some lovely things planned in your 2ww to help the tie go by  .  We are all routing for you.  Sending hugs  

Poppy- the jabs are awful, especially as they get older and become more aware.  Just try and have positive distractions to give her and of course lots of hugs.  My hubby and Mum went to Beth's first ones as it was a work day for me and I had Mum with me for her second set which was good moral support.

Jules- It was fab catching up at 'soft play' last week.  Beth loved it now she is finding her feet. I can't believe our bubbas are approaching the 1year old dates!  Scary how this time is flying and how long we have all known and supported each other.  

I think it's time for another Whippers get-together if we can get our calendars sorted for a date in the summer.  We might be the difficult ones this year though as we are planning a once in a lifetime trip to Australia for the first 3 weeks in August, catching up with close friends over there .  It will be a bit scary travelling with a toddler but I'm REALLY excited!  

Hello to all those who still follow.  I hope you are enjoying the beautiful Spring weather.


----------



## BeckyA

Hey ladies, just a quickie, we have 3 on board! Of the 6 fertilised eggs, 1 blocked and 2 were genetically deficient. We had 2 grade Bs (one 10 cell, other 7 cell), and one C grade (6 cell). They suggested putting all 3 back as no point in freezing the grade C. Starting Clexane tonight. OTD on the 30th. Wish me luck!!


----------



## hopeful1985

Wow... i had a 5 cell and  a 6 cell put in and 9 weeks tomorrow. Yours r better quality so im sure they will be extra sticky. Sending sticky thoughts xxxxx


----------



## BeckyA

Thanks hopeful, i am absolutely bricking it already! This is our last chance, so really hope it is lucky number 7.


----------



## jules418

Fantastic news hun, I am sending so much vibes of stickiness it is untrue xxxxx

Take things easy,  no lifting,  no house work (yayy) lots of positivity 

Hopeful hope are you feeling? X 
Jxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Becky i cant begin to tell you how much i want this for you    im sending the stickiest of vibes your way, and i hope and pray with everything i have that this is your time    come on little embies snuggle down for mummy and daddy    omg triplets!!!!!!!!    xxx


hopeful im delighted to read your fantastic news, im so so happy for you, sending you and yr bubba lots of love   


Hey jules, i cant believe you will be celebrating J's 1st birthday!!! time has flown, im now sat here remembering just how big you got towards the end! made my eyes water!!    what do you have planned for his celebrations? xxx


Kirstie wow australia!! what a trip, such a long way but will be an absolutely amazing holiday   


afm, we took our mini pops for her first swim today, she loved it, she was kicking her legs and smiling away, such a happy little soul.
we are having a little family get together on sunday to reveal what her name will be once shes legally ours, we arent changing her first name but adding middle name, we was going to wait until her celebration hearing but our mums are ready to burst haha, so we decided to incorporate a name reveal alongside my mums 65th birthday lunch! 


Lots of love to you all and anyone else who still reads
poppy xxx


----------



## jules418

Morning ladies, 

How are we all today? What miserable weather yuk!!! 1st day of spring!!! As my Gran says, in like a lion out like a lamb so fingers crossed for a nice summer although I shall be back at work then boooo.  I go back 2weeks this Thursday and it had flown by.  

BeckyA what is it like in sunny Spain 

Hopeful when is your next scan? We paid for one at 11 weeks as wanted to get it put on a card for my grans 90th and typically the 12wks NHS one came through for 2 days after lol. Was nice to compare the difference a week can make though xx 
Lol poppy. He made my eyes water too can't believe he was so late and so big.  He is such a chilled out boy though I don't mind.  
When is the celebration hearing? You must be so excited 

Love to all

Jules 
Xxx


----------



## BeckyA

Unfortunately another negative for us ladies, thanks for all your support throughout. Xx


----------



## jules418

Oh becky, I am so so sorry to hear this. 
You both must be devastated I wish there was something I could say or do to make this better. 

We are here for you when ever you want us 

Sending lots of love to you both 

Jules
Xxxxxxx


----------



## poppy05

Sending you much love Becky, i truely am so sorry and so sad to read this.
I know theres nothing i can say to take away your pain, but i will always be here if you need to talk   
This really is so very unfair, you are both in my thoughts sweetheart


----------



## BeckyA

Thanks my whippers, am truly heartbroken this time. Got a follow up appt at clinic once had a bleed, but really not sure what else they can tell us TBH.

Will be stepping away from FF for a while, but keep in touch with you lovlies on **.

Xx


----------



## hopeful1985

Becky I am so very sorry. Please take the time to process things. Sendding u big hugs. Xxxx

Havent been on in a while I hope all u ladies are well.

Afm... i am currently 13w5d.... so unbelievable! Sinking in slowly. Constant sickness still but hey ho it will be worth it. 12w sxan was good. Baby is right size and healthy although it is a lil bugger, took 4 attempts to scan, kept gettig sent away vos bubba was upside down or facing the wrong way. At one point had its back to us shaking its bum!!! We r so in love xxx


----------



## jules418

Hi all,

Hope you are all well xxx

Hopeful I am so pleased to hear that all is well and progressing nicely. Have you started to tell family and friends yet? 
Do you have a date for your 20 wks scan? 
Sending lots of love your way, you are so well deserved xxx

AFM - Well James is 1 now :O how did that happen I said to Bob that I still haven't got used to the idea he is ours let alone that he is one. We had a lovely little party with his friends and then another for family which was really nice (2 buffets yayy haa haa) 
He is doing really well and here there and everywhere and interested in everything. 

Big love to you all

Jules
xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Aw happy birthday James!!!!

I am good, 15 weeks tomorrow. 20 week scan booked for 30th may. Still being sick but all good. Friends and family know  At mo trying to convince hubby  that we should find out gender.... he doesnt want to   xxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Just checking in to say i am currently 16w5d with a lil girl xx 💓💓


----------



## jules418

Hi hopeful 

Fantastic news congrats on your pink news.  What's your due date? 

Xxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

19th oct x x


----------



## K.Notman

That's fantastic Hopeful! Really exciting news.  I hope the pregnancy is going well without too much sickness or discomfort.  THinking of you and your special little load.


----------



## Chixy

Hello my Walnut Whippers,

I am so sorry I have not been on for such a long time but I have found it so hard with so many of my friends being successful and having babies. I have been so lost that I turned into  a bit of a recluse  

I am so happy and excited to see that Poppy you are a Mommy - what great news. I hope we might see some pictures soon. Congratulations. You deserves it so much.

Hopeful - wow what great news - due date 19th October.

Becky - I am so sorry to hear that your last cycle was unsuccessful - i really do feel your pain. Please never give up.

AFM: well I have never given up and continued to have more cycles - again with little success. However I am so excited to share with you all that I have finally had success  and that I am now 14 weeks pregnant (so scared to say it out loud to you all - eek). I found out that I did have NK cells, we managed to have a FET and we had the PGS (I think that's what it's called?) where they take a few cells of the embryo to test if is normal and abnormal. A normal embryo was put back and so here we are. I am still cautiously optimistic. I think this is normal after what we have been through. The 12 week scan was amazing, little Emmie was wriggling around so much it was so beautiful to see - it brought a tear to my eyes and my DHs!!! This FET cycle was literally the end of the road for us so I am so relieved that Emmie decided to stick around. I cannot wait to join some of you in motherhood - i have dreamt about it for so long.

Thank you all for being there for me and I hope that we continue to chat and one day meet you all.

Love and hugs to one and all

Chixy


----------



## poppy05

Oh my god!!!! chixy i am actually in floods!!! words cant express how flipping happy i am for you   this is the best news, huge huge congratulations to you both. 


Hopeful yay a lil pink! how u doing? 


How is everyone else? i miss you girls.   


AFM, we went to matching panel today, and got a unanimous yes! the process is almost over, it will now switch from a fostering placement to an adoptive one, then next month all being well we can send off our application for our adoption order.


Chixy you mentioned photo's, we will be keeping her off social media to protect her identity, but those of you who wish to see her then contact me via messanger, i'll send you a pic and tell you her name


----------



## K.Notman

Hello Whippers!

I love all the positivity on here!  

Hopeful, how are you doing hun?  How often are your scans?  I was still scanned once a month even though I was low risk and the reassurace was greatly appreciated.

Chixy, I know we've spoken and seen a lot of each other over the last few months anyway but I'm so happy that you have shared your news on here and given everyone hope.  The feeling of uncertainty never leaves you and it all seems too good to be true but that's this process for you.  I'm here every step of the way for you and am bursting with you at the thought of our little bubbas playing together  

Poppy, Wow your process seems to be going on forever and sooooooo many hurdles, good job you're used to it!  I can imagine your little one has grown so much since being with you at the beginning of the year, can't believe we are in June!!!  I hope you are enjoying every minute.

AFM,  Well we celebrated Little Bean's first birthday a fortnight ago! Where did the year go  She has her 12 month jabs today (I hate those and hope it's over quickly).  She is developing her own personality which I love seeing and has started walking now which is adorable to watch but that means we are moving into 'toddler' stage and she will no longer be a 'baby'   !  I know the cliche is so true "they grow up so fast" so I'm trying to take lots of photos and video to savour every day.

Love to you all.  I hope you have some lovely plans for the summer.
Kirst xxx


----------



## 2ForJoy

Good evening ladies, how is everyone?! It's been so long!

*K.Notman*- Happy belated birthday to little one! Isn't it crazy how time flies... they are toddlers in the blink of an eye! Everyone said cherish every moment because it goes fast but I don't think I appreciated just how fast 

*Poppy*- how's things going with little poppy hun? Hope the process isn't dragging too much sweetie 

*Chixy*- AMAZING news sweetie! So pleased for you! When is due date? Those first weeks are like walking on eggshells arent they 

*Hopeful*- CONGRATS on having a LG onboard! Yay!! over halfway though now isn't it? Bet you can't wait.

Hello to *everyone *else, I hope you're all doing well?

*AFM*- Well mini me is going to be 2 in just over 3 weeks  where the hell did that come from?! I started maternity leave 2 years ago today and last week it was 3 years since my initial egg share consultation at the Lister... have moved house twice since having him as well as back2back health issues... it's been a crazy time. well I was supposed to be sharing again this month but have had ongoing gastric and back/neck issues. Now that I am getting dizzy with it I have FINALLY been referred for an MRI of my spine. I just hope they can find the cause and FX it's an easy-ish fix and nothing too sinister.

Best dash as small person should be going up to bed now... instead of clambering everywhere 

Much love ladies and take care xx   xx


----------



## poppy05

Hello my beautiful girls   
I just wanted to post here to let you know that mini poppy became our daughter forever yesterday, words just cannot describe how happy we are, I honestly didn't think I would ever be a mummy, I am so lucky to have been blessed with such a beautiful, perfect little girl, she really is my whole world.
I wouldn't of got to this point if it wasn't for you girls and the rest of my ff's, I would of given up years ago, but you have all been so supportive and encouraging, and from the bottom of my heart I thankyou you all for every lovely post you have written to me, you will never know how those words have helped me through some really sad times, I will never forget my 21 year journey to motherhood, but trust me I would do it all again to get this wonderful little girl I have sleeping next door.


I'm sorry for lack of personals bit chixy and hopeful, i think of you both often, please come and let us know how you are doing.


Much love to you all, poppy xxxxxxx


----------



## hopeful1985

Aw Poppy I am soo happy for you. Thats amazing news. Congrats to your whole family.

I am good hun thanks for thinking of me, 31 weeks pregnant now and big as a house with a little girl xxx


----------



## Zana37

Dear girls,

First of all I am so very sorry for the long long time that I have not written. At the same time, I am extremely happy for the good news I read about. So last time I wrote I was still pregnant. I had a lot of issues at work with my manager trying everything to fire me. Well he never managed to do it because the baby was pressuring my ribs so bad that my doctor wrote a letter to my work stating that I could no longer work and should go on an early maternity leave. There was simply no time for him to fire me. Noah was born with almost 42 weeks. I was induced and oh Lord how painful it was. It was only during labor that I found out that when labor is induced there is no break time between contractions. I honestly thought I was going to die. We almost had to go to a C-section but in the very last minute the doctors were able to pull Noah out with a device. He just turned 1 on the 28th of August. We should have held a party for him on the 10th od September, yesterday, but he was sick the previous week with pneumonia and hospitalized so we had to cancel. He hope to celebrate him on the 1st of October.

*Poppy* - I jumped and cried of happened for you Poppy! You're a mom! Ohhhh you deserved it so much! I am sooo happy for you! Can you post a picture of your bundle of Joy? Are you back to work? I remember you had a lot of work , are you managing the hairdresser work and the demands of being a parent well? I try my best here but sometimes I wish I had more time with Noah. The days go so fast!

*Becky* - I am sooo happy for you too. Ho far are you in having things ready for the baby?

*Hopeful* - The same same. I am thrilled for you. Very soon you will have your little baby in your hands. Do you have all things ready now?

*Chixy *- So happy for you too! When is due date?

*K.Notman *- Your boy must be big now right? Are you still doing the theater pieces? Are you doing it this Christmas? Can you manage to have time to do the rehearsals?

*Jules* - Last time I was here you had moved to a new house wasn't? How did it go with the move?

Does anyone know how it goes for *Bexter*? I think of her many times.

I wonder if is there any of you thinking about having another baby. Noah is only 1 but I must admit that I think of it many times. However I know that the hubby wouldn't embark in another fertility treatment journey. My chances of natural conception are nearly impossible so a Big Big miracle would be needed!   

I was wondering&#8230; just wondering&#8230;. What about a reunion? I wouldn't mind travelling to the UK and meet up wherever you girls may choose to meet. What do you say? Although it has been a long time I have been here I have thought of you many many times. Of how much you girls have helped me through my journey to maternity  Thank you so much for all the emotional help and support. It made such a big difference! 

Big kiss and hope to hear from you girls soon!


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## poppy05

Hi Zana
Lovely to see your post! I can't believe Noah is 1 already! I'm sorry to hear he was too poorly to celebrate, fingers crossed you manage to do something nice for the 1st oct. unfortunately we can't post mini poppy photos online, we have to protect her identity, its not a bad thing though, we just have to be mindful of certain things.
I have decided not to go bsck to work, i will do a bit of mobile hairdressing and see how we get on, my salon is quite a hourney for me and now im a mummy it just isn't suitable for me, i will miss my girls, but baby has to come first, ive still got another month of mat leave then i'll hand my notice in.
Great to hear from you lovely.


Hi to everyone else hope you're all ok? Xxx


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## hopeful1985

Hey guys  u still there?


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## 2ForJoy

Hi hopeful i'm still around- in limbo atm after a failed cycle last month (for sibling) waiting for our follow-up next week to discuss next steps.

How are you doing?  xx


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## hopeful1985

I was in 2 minds about posting tbh... been in a whirlwind.

My lil girl arrived after a traumatic birth on 15th oct. Thankfully she is perfect. My hubby wasnt allowed at birth as he was too poorly. The day after she was born he was diagnosed with very aggressive cancer outta nowhere and moved to a hosp 60 miles away to begin chemo whilst i was kept at birth hosp. Hes only been home 3 weeks spread over the 12 weeks since shes been born. He has 14 tumours throughout his body and the only places he doesnt have cancer is the brain and bones. We dont even know if its curable. After 5 years of ivf he missed the birth and bringing her home and so much more... im so angry with howw unfair it is...... just wanted to rant somewhere i guess to people who understand the ivf process...

Sorry for the downer just needed to blurt somewhere


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## jules418

Hi ladies,  

Sh!t hopeful I have no words but lots of virtual hugs for the 3 of you xxx 

Congratulations on the birth of your perfect little girl.  It must be very hard for you at the moment with so many happy and sad,  angry, confusing emotions going on.  

Zana, wow as if Noah is 1!!!  Beautiful name.  I am back at work booo although it is nice to have some Julie time 

Poppy so lovely that 1 year has passed with your little girl and you were so excited about Christmas ha ha 

2forjoy,  sorry to hear to had a failed cycle,  how long ago was it? What is the plan going forward? 

Afm,  we are currently in Spain visiting Mil and James is now nearly 21 months old !!!  
It has been an accident holiday so far but I guess that is boys. I grabbed him on the beach as he was running off and he collapsed his legs causing his elbow to pop so we had to go a&e.  He fell off his trunki and landed on his head in the airport, ran into a wall (numerous times) fell and on way down I put my arm out and his head caught my nail big chunk ended up under the nail and today he had headbutted the corner of a wall...  I need another holiday ha ta 

He is beautiful though and always so happy we are very very lucky x


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## K.Notman

Hello folks,

Hopeful- I'm so so so so sorry for you, what a traumatic experience.  I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through. I really hope your DH can enjoy your beautiful miracle baby that you have worked so hard to bring into this world.  I hope you have got a good support network around you to cope with the whirlwind that is motherhood whilst trying to be so strong for DH yourself.  I'll be praying for you.

2forjoy -  I'm sorry to hear of your failed cycle.  I must admit, it has been on my mind when thinking about going again (all that money for no guarantees).  Do you think there will be another chance? Have you had your consultation to discuss the cycle?

Poppy -  your ** posts bring a smile to my face imagining all of your dreams coming true to have your wonderful daughter to be the perfect Mummy to.  May she bring you many wonderful memories.  Are you still posting on FF offering support because of how much you've been through (you could write the book!)?

Zana- It's lovely to hear that you are getting on well.  So your DH is against doing another fertility route? It does take it out of you, financially and emotionally. Might you look into adopting or cherish the miracle you have?  As far as a meet up, it would be lovely but I think the group have drifted a bit now and trying to get everyone together on one day with their little ones seems impossible!

Jules- I love watching our little ones play together, they are growing up way too fast!  Now that all of my time revolves around Beth I wander what I used to do with my time!?!

AFM,
I'm still doing panto and we performed last weekend and this weekend coming so I'm looking forward to having my life back when it's finished (although I do love it and I'm the villain this year which is great fun to play!).  My Mum has been fantastic with childcare and is one very proud Nanny.  I'm at work 2-3 days a week and that's more than enough for me.  I love the quality time I get with DD and take her to lots of activities.  The in-laws are pretty good at spending time with her too although that always means I fell pressure to do the housework ready for them! DH is a very proud Dad but isn't as hands on as I'd like (still too much screen time!) but I think that is 'men' from what I hear from my friends.

We have seen the consultant about doing another cycle but it's very expensive to go from square one of finding a donor again.  So we've decided to save the money and spend it on the miracle that we have.  It wouldn't be so bad if you could guarantee a child for the money but as we all know, there are no guarantees other than an empty pocket!

I think of you all often and enjoy the updates shared on **.  Take care Whippers and remember we are here for ranting, sharing and sounding ideas off with people who KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE! 
Lots of love


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## poppy05

Hey ladies


Hopeful i don't even know what to say to you my darling, goodness me this is absolutely awful news to read, i am so sorry, please god let him get better, im so happy you are a mummy and bought your beautiful daughter into the world, sending you all my love and huge huge hugs xxxxx


Jules, haha I forgot I posted so much over christmas, my excitement was out of control, i considered taking medication to calm myself down! Im surprised i didnt self combust!! Haha 
Hope you had a fab holiday xxx


Kirstie, I dont post much these days no hun, I dont agree with how the forum is being run since the take over, so i threw my toys out the pram and handed back my moderator coat! 
I have given back more than enough support to FF in all the years ive been a volunteer, its a shame its not the same place it used to be. I have thought about giving talks at adoption training days to give something back, but tbh right now i just do not have the time, but its something i may consider for future, i very much enjoyed listening to the adoptive parents views during the process. Xxxx


2forjoy big hugs my lovely i hope you are ok and have been able process things and perhaps look st your next steps? Xxx


Zana how are you getting on my lovely? 


AFM, well what can i say? Life is perfect, i pinch myself every single day and still cannot believe i am a mummy! I just do not know what i did to deserve such a beautiful amazing little girl? She is perfect, we are so lucky, she amazes me everyday, such a funny little person, we are looking forward to some warmer weather now so we can start getting out and about.


Sending my love to you all
Poppy xxxx


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## Zana37

Hello to all of you dear ladies!

I simply can’t believe that in a short while another Christmas is around the corner. How is it going for all of you? 

With me... Noah is growing strong . I still pinch myself sometimes to remind myself that he is real and that I am not dreaming  I also learned to appreciate the little things in life every day. A few month ago we almost lost our Noah when he choked with a piece of apple while in daycare. It took three guardians working on him for 3 minutes and only after he almost passed out and his lips turned blue the piece of apple finally came out. They called us to take him to the hospital so that the doctors could check him because they had to beat him very hard in his chest and back while working on him. Fortunately all was well 

I have recently changed to another job and no longer am in that toxic environment from my previous work. I cannot understand how I lasted for so long there. I am much happier now.

How is it going with all of you? It would be nice to hear from as many of you as possible. I think of you and pray for you. This site has helped me a lot when I needed hope to believe I could become a mother. I wish that miracle could happen to me again!

Many hugs to all!


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## jules418

ZANA!!!! lovely to hear from you and so so pleased you are no longer in that work environment

What are you doing now? are you full time or part time? 

How awful for Noah and you guys what a scare!! I feel sick for you but I am glad that all was ok in the end. 

We are good thanks, James is 2.5 now and I really don't know where that time has gone, he is a very happy easy child which I know will come back and bite me when he is 15 haa haa. 

I start a new job a week on Monday (12th November) and I can't wait. lots of changes at this place which I don't agree with so off I pop. 

I have all of James' gifts for christmas (I think/hope) and I can't wait to get the decorations out.

Erm what else has been happening.... 

We are looking at moving house closer to Kirstie for her sins haa haa, we are looking at a showhome tomorrow as the one we wanted has been snapped up by someone else grrr so looking at a different style now. 

No more kiddies on the horizon for us, not sure how i feel about it to be honest. a little sad but also not sure i could cope as number 2 is bound to be a nightmare haa haa. 

So pleased you messaged I do think about your girls alot xxxx


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## K.Notman

Good afternoon Whippers.
I thought I'd just drop you a post, as Jules says, we are always thinking about each other.
You can see from the dates of the posts that time really is flying by.
I see the ** posts that we share showing our little ones growing into amazing people and it is incredible.
I'm still praying hard for those FF out there who have yet to get their miracle.

AFM we had a lovely Christmas full of family and food! New year is full of the same resolutions of losing weight and getting healthy!
I still meet up with Jules and Chixy which is wonderful, and we are pinching ourselves that we are now Mummies.  We had a little reunion at the first restaurant that we met at and treated ourselves to a lovely pre-Christmas meal to celebrate our precious friendships.

Bethany is amazing!  Very chatty which is both a delight and irritation depending on her timing and subject of conversation!  I'm still taking loads of photos as she is changing every month.

Sending lots of love and hugs to all my special Whippers. I hope that 2019 brings you lots of joy xxxxx


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## hopeful1985

Hi All!

Firstly Merry Christmas!

I have been thinking of you all a lot as we currently debate beginning the rollercoaster that is IVF once more.

I hope you all are well.

Quick Update... my amazing hubby was diagnosed with stage 4c cancer as you know the day after our daughter was born. They gave him a 20% chance of survival for 2 years and deemed him terminal. A big blow.

I am happy to report that this amazing man beat the cancer and after 16 months was told he was in remission!  Hes now been in remission for 10 months which is amazing. We always have this cloud that it could return but are making the most of every second. Our beautiful boisterous toddler is doing very well... now 26 months old and a lil diva. She really pulled us through.

Now we are debating doing IVF again - we only have the cash for one more round, but due to my age and low fertility its now or never. So many pros and cons with the biggest con being do we go through IVF knowing hubby could get ill again and whether this is fair on the new baby if it works - but then again life is too short and we should grab every opportunity as it comes. If it works a new child would be a blessing and a new chapter and would be so loved and cherished.

From people who have been through the process, what are your thoughts?

Anyway I hope you are all well and had a lovely Christmas.

All my love xxx


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## jules418

Hi hopeful and you lovely ladies xx

Merry Christmas to you all

I am so pleased to hear your husband is in remission what a relief after such a scary time xx

Nice to hear your little one is growing up well and running you ragged ha ha sounds very familiar. 

We are good, James is 3 and will be 4 in April where has that time gone!
We are moving house in the new year, buying a new build so not actually sure when but hoping March. 

It is a head stress thinking what to do for the best but I would say go for it, you could have a lifetime of memories to make or get hit by a bus in 2 weeks time, no one knows what the future will bring so definitely go for love xxxx

Jules


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## K.Notman

Oh Hopeful what wonderful news that hubby has pulled through, amazing!
Like Jules, I say go for it!  If you have the opportunity whilst you can.  Also, I love the idea of a sibling for your little one. Something that we are not able to offer ours.
Good luck and please keep us posted!

AFM well its been a year of change.  I finally bit the bullet and filed for divorce.  My DH and I are just such different people now and there is so much negativity which isn't good for Beth.  Luckily he has been in agreement through the whole process and it's very amicable.  We are currently working through selling the house and going our separate ways which is pretty stressful.  But having gone through what us lovely ladies have gone through over the years, it's just another challenge that I have to cope with one day at a time. I have my eyes on a positive future and I'm going to make it happen.


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## hopeful1985

Hello Ladies,

I hope you are all keeping well.

I am back on this site as I am due to start IVF/ICSI on next period! Must be mad! Started the process in 2012 and this will be cycle 5.... 9 years later!!! I am 36 now so this may be the last cycle

Thought I would check in on here to see if any of you were still around. Your bubbas must be proper little people by now. Would love to know how you are all getting on xxx


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## Zana37

Hi girls!!! Anyone still coming back here? Sometimes I miss the chats we had here… some kind of nostalgia…
I hope you are all well. How are you doing in 2022? A big hug to all.


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