# First Adoption Information Evening - Questions to ask



## TillyT (Dec 5, 2011)

Hi Ladies

Just after picking your wonderful brains   we have an information evening with local authority this evening.  Just wondering if you have any ideas what questions i should ask, what to expect?


Thanks
Tilly
xx


----------



## Primmer (May 1, 2012)

Hi Tilly, I went to our open evening just over two weeks ago. They explained the whole process with slides and written handouts and so pretty much covered everything but they did have three social workers there who you could talk to and ask questions after if you had any questions.

I took a brief list of questions regarding the length of time between applying and panel, the typical length of time for matching, how many adoptions had taken place in the last year, how many references we needed and which from family and which from friends, how many days the preparation days were spread over and what support is provided after the child is placed - hope this helps!


----------



## TillyT (Dec 5, 2011)

Thanks Primmer, evening went well.  A lot of information to take in but very interesting and informative.  Was nice to meet some social workers and also some adoptive parents to get an honest view of the process in my area.

As expected we can't have our initial visit and then subsequent prep course until early Autumn - but in the grand scheme of things that isnt too far away and we hope that the prep course will still be scheduled for the end of the year all being well.  We were impressed by the number of pre courses scheduled for the year and also we were surprised by the social worker saying that more younger children are coming through the system in later years.

We are just going to have to be patient and not wish the summer away too much!  I will continue to enjoy the lovely posts on this area of the forum.

xx


----------



## Primmer (May 1, 2012)

Glad the evening went well and hope autumn comes round quickly for you!


----------



## AliC74 (Jan 3, 2013)

Hi

Reading your posts i am interested in your experience as I am just trying to decide whether to look into adoption or egg donation as we have just had a failed ivf cycle.  Really can't decide what to do next, I am not sure I can emotionally go through the egg donation route and also as 39 soon sort of just want to get on with the adoption side... 

Any advice on your experiences, how you came to a decision to move on, any advice from the adoption evening, do they really have young healthy babies/ toddlers to re home etc?

Thanks
Ali x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Alic hi as u can see from my signature we have successfully gone through the process and our little girl was just over a year old when she came home.  There are sadly an awful lot of poorly children in the care system and you will hear alot about these cases if u decide to proceed with adoption.  On our prep group 8 couples are now families our lo's may have some odd ways and may have taken awhile to attach and settle in BUT I wouldn't change our bubba she is amazing and lights up everyday in a way a few years ago I never thought would happen. I think rightly so they tell u worse case because u have to be realistic they may have problems in the future but who is to say a birth child wouldn't have problems. We are sadly not born with ability to see what is round the corner. We all deal with lifes challenges along the way. 

Good luck with your decision but for us adoption was an amazing positive experience and we have an amazingly little bundle of happiness to call OUR DAUGHTER and she is a granddaughter and cousin and is loved by all the family xx


----------



## Doubleprincesstrouble (Jan 28, 2013)

Hiya,

TillyT guess you already know this, but it may be faster to go through a VA? I guess it depends on your area but its Just over a year since we rang up our agency for the first time and our two have been home for few months already.
Admittedly not everyone wants it to be quick, but we did.

AliC74 We had a similar decision as to donor egg/sperm vs adoption. Its obviously a very personal decision but it was an easy one for us. I didn't feel the need to be pregnant or give birth but was desperate to have children.  I didn't like the idea of either anonymous or known donors. We also felt we had what it takes to be good parents to a traumatized child and all that that means. (i'm not against the idea of using donors and that would have been our next choice.

Its so important to have reached the point where you can accept not having birth children before moving on to adoption though.
It really helped me to look at some of the profiles on websites. I knew I could love and look after some of those children.


----------



## TillyT (Dec 5, 2011)

Hi Ali

As you can see from my profile we have had 1 Donor egg cycle and unfortunately only had enough frozen for one frozen cycyle.  Unfortunately we didnt have a positive outcome and as my consultant says this is a numbers game and next time it 'could' be different.  We have decided that we cant put ourselves through this next time, it is too emotionally draining, let alone the financial side.  Obviously this is a personal view and everyone else is different.  My situation is that i was diagnosed with POF 2 years ago so DE was the only option if i wanted to give birth.  We werent keen on going abroad so we would therefore have similar issues with ensuring the child knows they originated from DE that adopted children knowing their heritage.

Ultimately my husband and i want a family lifestyle, i am positive we will have that family lifestyle, its just that ours is a longer way around to get there!  

Doubleprincesstrouble - i havent looked into VA, i think i automatically just thought of the LA but will look into that.  We have a busy summer ahead with weddings and holiday etc so will enjoy spending time together as who knows what 2014 will bring


----------



## kimmieb (May 9, 2013)

Hi - This is my first post! woo!

I had my information evening last night with Barnardos - we are going with a VA as opposed to a LA as my husband works for a fostering agency for disabled children and find LA's difficult to work with.

It was really really interesting - having known quite a bit of the process as similar to foster carers, as I worked at the fostering agency and I was researching for them to become an adoption agency also - but my husband and I both came away feeling great, like we can actually do this yes its going to be tough but we are going to be parents and have our own little one! 

We are filling in the register of interest form this weekend and hopefully get on the first assessment course in July  

Very excited!!!


----------



## AliC74 (Jan 3, 2013)

Thanks all..  Appreciate you sharing your experiences / advice.  I have booked us onto our LA info day on Tuesday next week so really looking forward to finding out more info and how the process works etc.    Any advice on quetions we should be asking at this stage would be really appreciated. 

Thanks
Ali x


----------



## AliC74 (Jan 3, 2013)

Hi

I am going to our first information day tomorrow.  

As some of you have recently been to these do you have any advice on questions to listen ask?

Thanks
Alison


----------



## TillyT (Dec 5, 2011)

Hi Ali

Good luck for your info evening, I found that the presentation they gave us most of the info needed to get you started. We need to have 6 month gap before we can proceed because of treatment but it might be worth askin if there's a way of proceeding quicker than this f you're in a similar position and want to move quickly. You could ask how many children they have placed in last year and ages available. Might also be useful to know what ongoing support they offer.

Good luck and best wishes


----------

