# Two girls aged 18months and three years



## Charlie5 (Aug 2, 2007)

Hi all

We have our two little girls home and although i'm pleased i'm also worn out alot of the time!!
Its hard work they are both eating and sleeping well but quite demanding in other ways and compete with each other for our attention. Anybody had a similar experiance??

Cheers
Charlie


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

No experience But congratulations on becoming a mummy to 2 little girls.

The initial stages are very tiring and you will often wonder what on earth you have let yourself in for!!

If routines are in place and they are settling well take this as a good thing and once they are in bed have some time for yourselves...housework and everything else can wait whilst you have time to sit down and relax and maybe plan a few things you can do tomorrow??
The demanding your attention I would think is only natural and maybe you will have to say to them I'm just doing this with DD1 first then I'll help you, its good socialising skills.

superal
x


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## Charlie5 (Aug 2, 2007)

Hi Superal

Thank you for your reply ... yes I do sometimes feel tired and ask myself that question 'Have I done the right thing?' I think it's because it takes time to bond and feel like i really am a mum. What do you think ? You have so much experiance it would be good to have your view. 
Thank you 
Charliexxx


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Charlie

I found it exhausting enough just adopting mine one at a time and you have taken on two pre-schoolers at once.  It doesn't matter how much babysitting we have done it is completely different when it becomes 24/7.  IMO adopting is just as hard physically as giving birth as you don't have 9 months with a physical reminder that your life is going to drastically change and people aren't always so sympathetic to the shock the change can be to you.

I'm afraid toddlers do like attention and siblings will compete most of the time.  My son actually said that he wished he could cut me down the middle so he could have one half and his sister could have the other.  Not sure how I feel about that idea   

As Andrea said forget housework, don't try and be Supermum.  We find it easier at the weekend for DH and I to split the kids up and take it in turns to give them some undivided attention maybe you can try that.  I know you don't want to overwhelm the girls with strangers but is there somebody, your Mum or a friend, who can come round when they are asleep and help you wash up or just pour you a glass of wine.

Congratulations on your new family, it will get easier


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## sweets x (Jul 28, 2008)

Charlie. 
Firstly, congrats on being a mummy to two little girls. 
Am in a similar position. Ours are 21 months and nearly 4 yrs old now. 
Youngest only been with us 4wks and eldest 4 months. Is hard being thrown in at the deep end isnt it. Wouldnt change a thing but at times have said to dh 'what have we done'. Am exhausted most of the time lol. Guess this is parenthood. 
We have our little routines. Have little diversion tactics to distract the girls when they get a bit much demanding attention. 
Good luck 
Sweets xxx


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi charlie

I hope things are a little less demanding in your house hold at the moment BUT I'm guessing with Christmas being so close your children will be hyper like the rest of the excited children on the run up to Christmas.

Bonding can happen instantly for a lot of people and for others it can take a while........being torn into two and having demanding children will  make you tired and irritable and will make you question over and over again what on earth have you done and  you will wonder onto this path many a time......I did and I sometimes still do and my children are now 18 & 11.

Just remind yourself your not supermum......your a new mummy adapting to two little girls coming into your life's.

Don't be afraid to tell your daughters that they may have to wait a moment or even saying no to them.  Children have to learn and it does them no harm what so ever to say just a minute Mummy will help you as soon as I can.  It does not make you a bad Mummy and they will not hate you for making them learn to turns and the bonding process like i say will happen for some overnight and for others it takes a little longer......when your tired and stressed you do feel as though you have not formed bonds and that your a bad mother and YOUR not!!  

Your human and doing a great job!!  

Rewarding good beahviour and trying to ignore the challenging behaviour is a good stratergy if you can do this great!

Don't be hard on yourself give your self time, be kind to yourself and above all remember why you adopted................you wanted to be a Mummy......your girls love you and they may not have grown in your tummy but as another adoptive mum says they have grown in your heart and will always be very sepcial to you and your DH.

Wishing you lots of luck and a very happy christmas....Christmas time will be magical for you and your family.

Andrea
x


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## Camly (Dec 12, 2006)

hiya 


many congrats on ur new family   


we brought our girls home when they were 25 months and 3 years old - 14 months between them. our eldest - giggler - used to suffer severe temper tantrums which was draining etc. as superal said, its very hard to please them both at the same time so do tell them they have to wait...i was the exact same. used to come home, go straight to kitchen and get snack and juice for them - whilst wearing my coat etc. it was my mum that said - its not realistic, yes, we are over the moon at becoming mummies but at the same time you could make urself ill with trying to run after them and do everything in such a quick time.  i sometimes think back to when we first got the girls and wonder how i managed? and i have been ill with an ear infection this week, and my hubby was working away so me and the girls were staying with my mum and sister. they both said that they dont know how i cope/manage with everything as they are so full on and demanding.  i have developed a stutter and a nervous twitch! joke!! hahaha)


try and be kind to yourself - its fantastic but u also need to make sure ur getting ur own time - a happy mummy makes happy children.


take care and enjoy ur family christmas xxxxx


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## Charlie5 (Aug 2, 2007)

Hi everybody 

Thank you all for your replys I dont know what id do without you.

Ive had a good couple of days with them my husbands on 12 hour shifts at moment so will be glad when christmas comes when he is home. Went to farm today and put christmas tree up yesterday with them which was brilliant.

I have worked with children for many years but nothing prepares you for this ...but it's growing into a wonderful experiance thank you all...have a wonderful christmas and brillliant new year.

Charlie


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