# I know i'm being unreasonable, but...................



## Fertilityhawk (Jan 22, 2015)

Hello ladies

ok warning, I know I'm being unreasonable here but I just have to write this down to get it off my chest.

As you can see from signature we've been TTC for quite a few years and have had some very rocky roads.

I'm very close to my brother & SIL and their family.  I have a niece and a nephew and I absolutely adore them.

About halfway through our TTC journey we decided to get  our dog Walter.  He's been the light of my life and is the best decision we've ever made.  He's got such an amazing character.  My brothers family all adore him too.  In fact he's the only dog on our side of the family so gets spoilt rotten.

Now my brother & his family are getting a dog.  In fact they are getting Walters full sister from the same breeder.  Now this is where I'm being unreasonable.  I feel a bit sad about them getting a dog.  I'm ashamed to say that it's something that I've liked having to ourselves.  My brother has got the "perfect" wife, who doesn't work, they have an amazing big house and 2 perfect children.  Having a dog was something that we had to ourselves.  Even though we haven't got the children we had the dog.  Now I feel as though they have absolutely everything and I hate myself for feeling like this  

I'm anxious that my niece and nephew won't care about our dog when the new puppy arrives.  I just feel anxious about it all.  I should be flattered in a way that our dog is so well behaved that they want one just like him but I'm really struggling.

I haven't told anyone this, not even my husband as I'm afraid he'll look at me like I've got 2 heads, and if he doesn't understand how will anyone else begin to understand.

I feel so pathetic


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## Turia (Feb 2, 2013)

Sorry unable to properly reply but didn't want to read and run.  Just wanted to send hugs   And say perfectly understandable feelings!

Turia x


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## Rio2016 (Aug 24, 2016)

I totally get this. 

I guess it shows what a wonderful dog you have that they want to copy you... 

Big hugs


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## pauli (Sep 19, 2016)

I get it too. There is still hope that their dog will be the opposite of yours, really bad behaved and will not like children


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## Ms G (Aug 4, 2014)

Maybe we're biased or maybe we also have two heads but I think I would feel the same.  

Having a dog was your thing and is not something you want to share. IF already takes so much away from us, it feels unfair that this is taken too. 

Unfortunately, I think a lot of other people wouldn't quite understand and there isn't a lot that can be done. But, I sympathise completely and don't think you are pathetic in the slightest. 

xx


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## Wishings15 (Mar 27, 2015)

Oh I understand where your coming from too. I don't think your wee pooch will be ignored tho, I think it will have a good time playing with its sister xx


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## BrightSpark99 (Jul 22, 2015)

TOTALLY get it. We got a dog because we had always wanted one and TTC stress has been relieved by having something to focus on other than ourselves. She is "our baby" and she clearly loves us above anyone else. Anyway, when we got her my friend who GOT PREGNANT BY ACCIDENT and has lamented ever since about her unplanned (but undeniably adored daughter) was desperate for her daughter to meet our dog as apparently she loves them. I felt as though the dog is our thing and I don't want to share - especially with someone who has what I want. Get your own dog - maybe you can manage that accidentally too  . Sound weird? Maybe but I totally get you Stephy!


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## lemongrass (Sep 19, 2015)

Hi Steph

The other ladies are right - what you are feeling is totally understandable and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it.  I liked Pauli's comment particularly!!  

As for your brother's household, while it might seem like they have achieved perfection in all respects, things are not always as they seem.  There may well be things about your life, apart from your dog, that they wish they had.

xx


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## Fertilityhawk (Jan 22, 2015)

thank you for all of your lovely replies ladies, it really helped me to understand that I'm not going mad  

I'm sure our dog will love having it's sister to play with.  I'm just looking forward to how they deal with the puppy chewing their furniture and digging up their perfect garden   

xxx


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## kerryh (Apr 15, 2014)

I totally understand where you are coming from! Also your dog is clearly a credit to you both and how well you have trained and raised him. 
I wonder if they understand just how much hard work a puppy is and also that just because they are related doesn't mean that they will be the same dog. A lot of it is down to their training. There is a dog I help walk, who is gorgeous, but an absolute nightmare! This dog dislocated someone's shoulder once and her sister competes in Crufts! This dog can hardly find anyone willing to take it out of the house and its sibling is off winning medals!   

Personally I found our dogs toddler years much harder than I'm finding my daughters toddler phase!


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## Fertilityhawk (Jan 22, 2015)

Hi Kerry

Thanks for your reply, this is also my fear.  When they were talking about having a dog they just said they wanted one that had Walters laid back personality.  There's no guarantee that they'll get this.  Walter is very nervous of other dogs but absolutely loves kids.  This nervousness is what makes him appear very well behaved.  I mean he is well behaved but when other dogs are play fighting and running around he'll be stood by my side not wanting to get involved.  

I had to laugh as at the weekend my mum walked through their kitchen with her flip flops on and got moaned at for wearing her shoes in the house   I can't wait to see their reaction when the dog has been digging in their garden and just runs into the house.

Our dogs toddler years were a bloomin nightmare as well but they never saw that!  They never saw "witching hour" at 6pm when he used to run around like a lunatic, jumping up at your face and trying to pinch everything!  Giving him a time out but struggling to catch him so that you give him a time out    Going out for walks and reinforcing the recall with a million training treats!!

I think they might have a big shock coming.....................


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## kerryh (Apr 15, 2014)

It does sound like they are in for a shock alright. Even the cleanest dogs are filthy, you just have to accept that fact. Certainly house training is going to be interesting, because the more you get stressed about the mess, the more the pup picks up on it and has accidents!

Walter does sound like a lovely dog. Our old dog was similar, great with kids but not interested in other dogs. Our next dog was the complete opposite. She was totally obsessed with other dogs and it drove me crazy. Her recall when there were other dogs around was awful. There were days when I felt like just leaving her in the field to run around like an idiot and walking home without her. It was far worse than anything my toddler has ever thrown at me. 

I'm sure they will be asking for your help when it gets difficult. I can thoroughly recommend a book called the 'The Trouble Free Dog'. This book has a great chapter about picking the right pup from a litter......but I guess it's a little late for them on that front!


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