# Third time not so lucky...



## MrsC107 (Oct 19, 2021)

So we have just completed our 3rd unsuccessful round of IVF. Naturally, I have had up and down moments over the last couple of weeks, but today seems to be the day for people announcing pregnancies/about to have a baby, as the universe has its way of doing this when we feel rubbish!
Trying to remember to be gentle with myself and allow the sad moments to come and go.
Sending lots of love to all in similar circumstances x


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## Efi78 (Jun 26, 2017)

Hi MrsC107,
Similar position here. Everyone seems to have a baby apart from me and I count one failure after the other. 
be gentle to yourself and it wouldn’t hurt to keep your distance from other people for a while. A few days holiday and spending time with myself helped a lot. Sending you huge hugs as well and positive vibesz we may be next. xxx


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## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

Hi both . Yes it’s such a hard boat to be in . I am on round 4 this month . I had one embryo frozen and two cancellations . In my
Head of my own eggs don’t work I will move to donor egg . I don’t want to keep trying with my own eggs and get even older . I left it long enough as it is . What’s your thoughts on donor eggs ? X sending love to you both . X


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## Efi78 (Jun 26, 2017)

Hi PDream,
Like yourself I also had a few failures with OE. When I turned 40 I had my last IVF with own eggs. I transfered the last frozen OE embryo in September 2020 at 42. When that failed I knew it was time to move on. It just clicked that this was the right choice. I haven’t had success yet but have 3 DE in the freezer, so fingers crossed. 
Love and hugs to you as well. When and if it’s time to switch you will know. xxx


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## Positive20 (Feb 1, 2020)

Hi @PDream1980 
I couldn’t have put it better myself than what @Efi78 has said really. Everyone is different with what time they decide to move forward with DE and whether it’s right for them. At the same time, it’s not the right thing for everyone to do.
@MrsC107 my heart goes out to you, repeated failure is such a big loss to get over, definitely do be kind to yourself. Avoid mixing at baby’s birthday parties or birthday showers if it helps to keep your mind healthy. Do what’s right for you, no one can judge when they haven’t live through it. Big hugs xxxx


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## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

Thanks efi and positive .

I went for my day 2 scan today and it didn’t look good . I have multiple cysts and only 1 possibly 2 follicles. I know where this is heading . I have been crying my eyes out and I’m at work , luckily I work in my own office so no one can see me . It was a little relief getting your reply . I haven’t told many people what I am doing with ivf.
I know in myself it’s not going to work with oe. I thought I had done a lot of my grieving a while ago but it’s come over me again today . I just feel Heartbroken. I know when I get my head Around de then I would feel a lot more postive and a much higher chance of having a baby . It’s just getting there . I just can’t stop crying . 
im sorry as this is such a positive thread . I need to sort myself out, looking a bit of a state right now .


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## Positive20 (Feb 1, 2020)

@PDream1980 don’t be apologising for feeling sad - this is natural grief and you have to cry this out. Anyone in the same position as you would be the same. You have to grieve what’s happening in the here and now. It’s admirable what you have been through to get here today, never forget how brave people are who actually put themselves through this. You have absolutely put your heart and soul into trying and you can walk away from this knowing that whatever the outcome and whatever the future holds for you. Xxxx big hugs xxxX


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## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

Thanks positive xxx . I spoke to a really good friend today about donor eggs and he made me feel a lot better about it all . I can see a way forward . I hope you’re okay too @MrsC .? Hope you’re okay @Efi78 . ?

I have just turned 44 so I think everyone on here is around the same age ? Which is lovely x


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## Positive20 (Feb 1, 2020)

Good, I’m glad you are feeling better about things.  Xx


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## Efi78 (Jun 26, 2017)

PDream1980 said:


> Thanks efi and positive .
> 
> I went for my day 2 scan today and it didn’t look good . I have multiple cysts and only 1 possibly 2 follicles. I know where this is heading . I have been crying my eyes out and I’m at work , luckily I work in my own office so no one can see me . It was a little relief getting your reply . I haven’t told many people what I am doing with ivf.
> I know in myself it’s not going to work with oe. I thought I had done a lot of my grieving a while ago but it’s come over me again today . I just feel Heartbroken. I know when I get my head Around de then I would feel a lot more postive and a much higher chance of having a baby . It’s just getting there . I just can’t stop crying .
> im sorry as this is such a positive thread . I need to sort myself out, looking a bit of a state right now .


Hey @PDream1980. Crying and pouring your heart out is not negativity. It’s normal. This thread is about providing support to each other. Feel free to express your feelings, this is healthy. We have all been and actually still are there. Be kind to yourself and let your soul heal. It is only natural to mourn for your OE. It’s the normal and healthy process before moving to the next stage. This may be DE, this may be deciding to continue with OE, adopting, living childless or whatever. Sooner or later you will make a decision that will make you happy. But don’t apologise please. We are here to support you and provide a digital albeit very real hug 🤗 
I am doing ok. Period arrived yesterday at last. It has been quite erratic since last FET. Next DEFET will start in about 2 months so till then trying to travel and enjoy myself. 
Keep us informed of how you are feeling and please feel free to vent out, cry, throw a pity party. It is part of the healing process and that’s what (fertility)friends are for ❤


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## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

Thanks efi , it helps so much when you’re understood . I will move to donor egg . I had an idea and thought about having an own egg transfer alongside a donor egg embryo transfer . I approached a clinic in Greece but it’s illegal there . I’m sure I read on here a lady did that and she got twins but I wouldn’t have a clue which group i read that on , it was a while ago and I wasn’t on the donor egg page then . I just think it would be a nice thing to do and if one took then then that’s what’s meant to be . I don’t suppose anyone in this group knows where they would do that ?
Thanks again efi for your kind words and sending big hugs back to you . I don’t want to waste any more time so hopefully I won’t be too far behind you on your next transfer , fingers and everything crossed that this next one for you is your time x x x please do keep us posted .


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## MrsC107 (Oct 19, 2021)

Efi78 said:


> Hi MrsC107,
> Similar position here. Everyone seems to have a baby apart from me and I count one failure after the other.
> be gentle to yourself and it wouldn’t hurt to keep your distance from other people for a while. A few days holiday and spending time with myself helped a lot. Sending you huge hugs as well and positive vibesz we may be next. xxx


Thank you, sending lots of love and fingers crossed it is our turn next time xx


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## MrsC107 (Oct 19, 2021)

PDream1980 said:


> Hi both . Yes it’s such a hard boat to be in . I am on round 4 this month . I had one embryo frozen and two cancellations . In my
> Head of my own eggs don’t work I will move to donor egg . I don’t want to keep trying with my own eggs and get even older . I left it long enough as it is . What’s your thoughts on donor eggs ? X sending love to you both . X





Positive20 said:


> Hi @PDream1980
> I couldn’t have put it better myself than what @Efi78 has said really. Everyone is different with what time they decide to move forward with DE and whether it’s right for them. At the same time, it’s not the right thing for everyone to do.
> @MrsC107 my heart goes out to you, repeated failure is such a big loss to get over, definitely do be kind to yourself. Avoid mixing at baby’s birthday parties or birthday showers if it helps to keep your mind healthy. Do what’s right for you, no one can judge when they haven’t live through it. Big hugs xxxx



Thank you, all our friends don't even know that we are going through it, so when they ask how we are getting on with having a baby, it can be hard to keep my face neutral and just say "we're still trying". It's not their fault as they don't know, but at the moment, it doesn't help!
I'm not sure how I feel about donor egg, we still have 3 in the freezer so still hopeful that one of those will work! x


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## MrsC107 (Oct 19, 2021)

PDream1980 said:


> Thanks efi and positive .
> 
> I went for my day 2 scan today and it didn’t look good . I have multiple cysts and only 1 possibly 2 follicles. I know where this is heading . I have been crying my eyes out and I’m at work , luckily I work in my own office so no one can see me . It was a little relief getting your reply . I haven’t told many people what I am doing with ivf.
> I know in myself it’s not going to work with oe. I thought I had done a lot of my grieving a while ago but it’s come over me again today . I just feel Heartbroken. I know when I get my head Around de then I would feel a lot more postive and a much higher chance of having a baby . It’s just getting there . I just can’t stop crying .
> im sorry as this is such a positive thread . I need to sort myself out, looking a bit of a state right now .


I completely understand how you feel, it's such a difficult time and such a difficult thing to go through, especially when not many people know you're going through it! It hurts, for the last few weeks I've had good days and then other days (like yesterday) I felt like I was on the floor again. Please be gentle with yourself lovely, I am trying to take comfort in the fact that we are doing all we can. It would be kinder if we could just have that little crysta ball and see whether it will work, then it would make the prodding and poking and meds and injections so much more bearable.

Try and stay positive lovely, sending lots of love xx


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## MrsC107 (Oct 19, 2021)

PDream1980 said:


> Thanks positive xxx . I spoke to a really good friend today about donor eggs and he made me feel a lot better about it all . I can see a way forward . I hope you’re okay too @MrsC .? Hope you’re okay @Efi78 . ?
> 
> I have just turned 44 so I think everyone on here is around the same age ? Which is lovely x


Today I am feeling better than I have all week, although that could just be the Friday feeling! It always helps to talk to people who are going through the same thing, I don't actually know anybody who has had IVF and it's a difficult thing to talk about when people don't know. 

thanks for asking x


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## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

MrsC107 said:


> Today I am feeling better than I have all week, although that could just be the Friday feeling! It always helps to talk to people who are going through the same thing, I don't actually know anybody who has had IVF and it's a difficult thing to talk about when people don't know.
> 
> thanks for asking x


Hey Mrs C , so you are ticking on too . It’s an incredibly hard journey and one which only people like us , walking in those shoes can truly understand . I know a Couple of people who decided not to do ivf after infertility . I know of a couple of people but not as close to me who have done ivf . Friends of friends and it’s worked with oe or de . 

One of my clients is currently being a surrogate for someone which is lovely . 

Ahhh I am Tired though . I think the tail end of own egg grief . Now I am feeling less heartbroken and more business like . I have good days an excited about de for the chance of a baby and family to then feeling sad . It clearly wasn’t meant to happen for me in a conventional way so here I am ……

Hugs to everyone on this thread. Here we can find our support and advice and help others too x 

I am reviewing clinics for donor egg . I wanted to go abroad but I also thought it easier to just do it in the uk with less travel costs however it’s def more expensive from the call I have just made ! I am very tired with it all . I am coming to terms with oe loss and I’ve been doing that for a year now so I am getting ready for the next journey with de. 

I don’t have a lot of annual leave with work as I’ve used a lot this year trying with own egg and lining up chucks of annual
Leave with cycles .


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## MrsC107 (Oct 19, 2021)

PDream1980 said:


> Hey Mrs C , so you are ticking on too . It’s an incredibly hard journey and one which only people like us , walking in those shoes can truly understand . I know a Couple of people who decided not to do ivf after infertility . I know of a couple of people but not as close to me who have done ivf . Friends of friends and it’s worked with oe or de .
> 
> One of my clients is currently being a surrogate for someone which is lovely .
> 
> ...


It feels like it's everywhere you look, and always when on a down day. I'm sending every good wish that the next round works lovely. Keep on going and stay hopeful <3 x


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## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

MrsC107 said:


> It feels like it's everywhere you look, and always when on a down day. I'm sending every good wish that the next round works lovely. Keep on going and stay hopeful <3 x


Comeptlelt


MrsC107 said:


> It feels like it's everywhere you look, and always when on a down day. I'm sending every good wish that the next round works lovely. Keep on going and stay hopeful <3 x
> [/QUOTE
> 
> Oh completely , I come across a lot of babies in my job when clients have their babies they want to bring them in to show me ! For the first time the other day I said oh let me hold him as the de option is giving me more confidence that this could happen . Today I booked a scan at a uk clinic for donor egg . I will Still try with my own egg at the other clinic as I’ve paid for it but I want two kids so I may as well get going with it as I’m sure this will be a wait in some way . I think I only hold out a teeny bit of hope that I will get one from my own egg . So that won’t give me two .
> ...


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## Positive20 (Feb 1, 2020)

@PDream1980 @MrsC107 I know a couple of people who have said they will not do IVF. It takes stories like that to help realise what warriors we are for doing everything that we can to make ourselves a family. Be kind to yourselves, yes it’s Friday, have a lovely weekend and keep smiling xx


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## miamiamo (Aug 9, 2015)

Hi, I am sorry to ready your story. Myself I know ladies with 7 time success. Try to stay positive, and do not give up - we are warriors!


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