# Support when TTC



## Hopefulchi (Jul 20, 2012)

I joined this group because I'm literally thinking about dying a peaceful death. I have been married almost 8 yrs with no kids. Found out I had fibroids two years ago.Had a myomectomy and found some more 6 months later. Had another myomectomy. 3 months later we tried IVF which failed. Now we're scheduled for a FET in two months. You wonder what's different about my story? After all millions of women go through the same thing and are living through it. Well u see where I'm from, it's a big deal to be infertile. What makes matters worse is that my husband hates me for being the reason why we haven't conceived and he reminds me almost everyday what a horrible person I am, he says God must be punishing me for sins I must have committed and that I need to confess so I can get preg. He regrets marrying me everyday and makes me wish that the Almighty would be merciful to me and take my life so I leave this miserable suffering world to one where there's love for me. I used to be outgoing and friendly but am now an opposite of that personality. I pray for this situation to turn around for the best and let God intervene and vindicate me. I dont know if this marriage is going to last but I hope, oh so desperately to carry my own child, who would love me no matter what. Baby dust to all struggling-to-conceive women like me out there.


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## moo84 (Oct 14, 2011)

Hi there Hopefulchi.
My situation is different to yours, but I didn't want to read and run. There is a lot of support on here for ladies in all kinds of different situations. I am lucky that my husband is very supportive, I am very sorry that you do not have the same support available. Do you have a friend you can talk about your worries and problems with? Either way there are lots of lovely ladies available to talk to on here. I wish you a lot of luck and babydust for your FET in 2 months.

Moo xx


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi Hope,

All I can say, is to get away from this horrible man.  He is a bully and please don't have a baby with someone like him.

There is a religion thread here or get help from an outside agency.

Stacey
X


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## purplegirl_84 (Jun 16, 2012)

hopeful chi  

nobody has the right to judge anybody. and people who berate others are usually extremely insecure themselves.
find a counsellor or a friend you can talk to face to face. 

your in my prayers very specially.


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## Maisyz (Dec 15, 2010)

I just had my fibroids removed. six of them, ugly things. Due to have some more removed, the real baby killing ones, the ones inside the uterus. My husband doesn't blame me, because it would be ridiculous and irrational to blame me for something that is not my fault. I blamed me for a long time but guess what, it is not my fault and it is not your fault either.

I don't know your husband but he sounds like a horrible person. Not sure if he is or if he just needs some sort of counselling to get his head straight. Certainly he has not right to punish you for something you could not control and lord knows you have done everything you can to get a baby. A myo is not exactly something we'd book for a fun day out ffs is it?

The first line of your post worries me, that you are taling about "a peaceful death", I hope you are just being dramatic but if you are having those thoughts please talk to someone professional like the Samaritans, they really can help people through dark times. 

Please take care you deserve better than being treated badly by someone who should support you.

Maisy


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## Hopefulchi (Jul 20, 2012)

Just to say thanks for all the replies,it feels good to know that there are others like me out there, though not too many with husbands who won't support them. I know something good will come out of all this in the end. I'm asking God for faith and wisdom.


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## buggles (May 24, 2012)

How are things for you hopefulchi?

Please ask yourself - what will your husbands response be if you give birth to a baby with high level needs? Will he continue to be unsupportive at a time when you really need him?

I hope things are ok for you.


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## greatgazza (May 27, 2010)

Gosh Hopefulchi i have just come across your post and it made me feel very sad.

you are not a 'horrible person' and you haven't done ANYTHING wrong    your husband sounds like a nasty, sadistic, spiteful, small-minded person.  Do you really want to be with someone who 'regrets marrying me everyday'? that is no life.  although it sounds like there are religious and cultural factors playing a part here that does NOT mean you should be subjected to a life of penance and psychological abuse because you haven't yet been able to have a baby.

please, please talk to someone and try and get some outside help.  is there a women's centre where you live? they have lots of support groups and counselling available, or there are in some places asian women's centres (not sure if you're asian but if you are they could help).  it might also be worth posting on the religious thread in case there are any other women in similar situations who could support you. do you have any friends you could talk to? 

as Stacy said please don't have a baby with a person like this, he doesn't deserve that joy and a child doesn't deserve a father like that.

  

GGx


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