# Currently on 2ww?



## Tearful

Hi Guys

As you prob know i am fairly new to you all as i havent been on here in an age! I have been doing my best to read and read and read to catch up on everyone but so many on here i am lost! I would be similar to those of you in the DEC-FEB thread but i was hoping this thread would perhaps be of an interest to those currently on their 2ww together? (So it probably wont last longer than a few weeks!)

So for any other 2ww'rs- 

I had my ET Thurs 3rd March at RFC. 
Test Date - St Patricks Day
So currently 7dpt (if day 1 day after ET)

No symptoms at all except that yesterday i started getting AF type pains    Not cramps but def similar pains as if AF coming   
Hoping against the odds that these pains mean nothing. x

Hoping there are some out there to join me on this thread for a little while   aswell as obviously remaining on all the others with the DF's you have made.


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## bron11

Hi Tearful - i hope your FF name does not came true this time round for you.  I have just returned from Reprofit and on 2ww, test day 21 March (day i return to work!).  Bit sore but I put this down to 15 hours travel with toddler in toe.

Hopefully the cramp feelings you have is good sign.  

Did you have 3 or 5 day transfer?  Are you managing to keep sane during the 2 ww's?


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## Tearful

Hi Bron  

I had a day 3 transfer. I thought i was doing ok and then last night because these pains started i had a bit of a breakdown. Cried that much my eyelids swollen today!  

Nice to have someone along on this thread. You're testing 4 days after me so are you now 3dpt? Where is Reprofit? What made you go there? Was yours a day 2 or 3 transfer?

'toddler in toe' - ivf ??


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## Ermitrude

Hi Girls

I'm going to join you too.

I had 2 day 5 blasts transferred on Tuesday so i'm 2dp5dt and my OTD is the 18th.  This is my 3rd fresh ivf - as you can see from my signature i've had a complicated life up to now so praying with all my might that our luck changes this time round.

Can't imagine 15 hours travel with a small child could've been easy Bron, you must be wrecked!!

Very hard to know either way Tearful as early pg symptoms are so like af symptoms, all you can do is wait it out and hope.  

Ermi


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## delgir1223

Hi Ladies,

Can I join too please.
I had et 2 day two 4 cell on march 3rd so my test date is 17th.
Trying so hard not to focus on it and keep busy without overdoing it but you know what it's like...
Have had a few aches and pains like af is on her way and my boobs are sooooo sore but they get like that before Af is due so who knows.
So hard not to go and buy a first response pt.... Must resist.....

nikki


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## Tearful

Hi Ermi    

Welcome aboard! You're testing day after me   . I'm praying St Patrick brings me some luck this time round      

What clinic where you in then? Although your 2ww may seem shorter to some i'm sure its not as you still had to wait the extra 2 days for your wee embies to become super blasts!  Do they grade blastocysts then or how does that work? 

  for you and Bron xx


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## Ermitrude

Hi Nikki - hope those signs are all good   

Tearful i'm in the republic and with SIMS clinic there.  Yeah they grade blasts too but differently from 1-6 and from AA to CC, 1 being poor and 6 being a hatching blast (normally happens on day 6). The letters are for the quality of the two components of the blast.  So my two were 5AA, which is what you'd expect for day 5.  Some clinics transfer blasts on day 6 and that's where you'd see the hatching category.

Good luck to us all and hopefully St Patrick will be watching over us


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## Tearful

Hi NiKki   

Welcome aboard! I dont feel sooo alone anymore   

Testing same day as me chick! spin

I was doing well even despite DH eldest daughter on holiday staying with us and she's very pregnant! But i caved last night. Emotional wreck! 
Feeling a little better having been reading FF all morning! It seems some people have had AF type pains and gone on to BFP's!
Just sooo hard as last 2 times i had pains too and got BFN   

Hoping its third time lucky.
Sending you   too. xx


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## Tearful

Hi Ermi

So looks like i was right - your 2 little ones are super blasts   
Do Sims always do Blast transfers? I met a guy representing them at the Fertility Day here in Nov. He gave us a card for a free consultation should we need it.       that we dont.xx


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## Ermitrude

Its such an emotional rollercoaster Tearful and there are bound to be days when you just feel awful, let the tears out when they come - a release is always helpful.

Its really up to you and your doc whether or not you go to blast.  For me i was with a different clinic on my first cycle (Clane) got 4 blasts from 5 embies and had a chemical pg and then a bfn from the fet.  Then found out i've auto immune issues that effect implantation so moved to Sims as they're the only ones in the republic that treat ai issues.  Also discovered i've a low amh so have a small number of eggies.  Cycle before christmas was a disaster and only got 2 embies from 4 eggs and transfered a 4 cell and a 12 cell on day 3 - don't think quality was great and got a bfn.

So this time doc wanted to ensure quality was good so we decided regardless on the number of embies that we'd go to blast.  We had 3 fertilise from 4 and 2 of those made blast so feel that our chances are that much greater this time round as at least we know they have the quality iykwim.


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## Tearful

You have had a rough ride Ermi.    How did they discover you have auto immune issues? I often wonder is there something wrong with me why my wee embies dont implant. RFC are pretty limited i think on tests for various other options even when you pay for private. Heaven forbid this go dosent work for us then we want to try elsewhere. But     that wont have to. My credit cards are already maxed   

1st time i had a 6cell and a 3 cell both grade B.
2nd time i had 2 5cell grade B.
This time i have a 6cell grade3 and 4cell grade4 (RFC changed their grading from letters to numbers- confusing)

Praying         that for everyone of us on this current 2ww thread its a whole picture book full of BFP's!!!!


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## Ermitrude

Hopefully its 3rd time lucky for you pet.  You're lucky in that you get some treatment paid for - down here its all private and bloody expensive!!

Well i just knew something had changed -  we were originally diagnosed as 'unexplained' and got pg relatively easily through iui.  The first was a missed mc at 10 weeks and the 2nd successful resulted in my ds in June 09, unfortunately as you can see below he died when he was exactly a month old from a very rare condition (4th in the world) that we were unaware of before he was born.

So when we went back to tx and iui wasn't working and then the chemical pg with my 1st ivf it really prompted some questions in my head.  Got level 1 immunes done through my gp and showed i've anti thyroid antibodies, which are proven to effect implantation.  So was referred to an endocrinologist and am meds for life for my thyroid - despite having no symptoms!! But at least i know now why treatment wasn't working and need extra meds - steriods, clexane, aspirin and intralipids to be in with a chance of tx working.

So just hoping and praying with the blasts this time and the immune treatment that we're in with a fighting chance


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## Tearful

Ermi, I cant imagine the pain you went through loosing your beautiful son x   He'll be up there gasing away to your future bambinos telling them what great parents they are going to have   

How is everyone else doing today? I'm still having a few AF type pains and i am still a little concerned but the stories that the girls have given me on my HELP thread have definetly picked me up. I dont feel quite as low as i did the other night. Still hard with DH family here at minute but despite the pregnant bump that i see every where i look (his eldest daughter is pregnant) i guess if i try to think    then they are certainly helping the 2ww go in a bit quicker, as we've had to do the touristy stuff   . 8dpt today - 6 more sleeps to go


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## bron11

Afternoon ladies how's everyone doing?

Ermi – did you have any left for freezing?  How you coping with the two weeks.  Is this the first time you have had blasts?  Do you have to take drugs for your immune issues with your cycle?  So sorry for loss of your son, not sure how anyone comes to terms with that, even a miscarriage is devastating. 

Tearful - Jake done this journey before when we were in Reprofit, in sept 2010, which is in the Czech.  We had to travel from Dublin which makes it a longer journey.  We had 5 day transfer.

Nikki – Welcome, keeping one’s self busy is hard as those WHAT IF thoughts creep in often.  Hope you manage to keep on top of these thoughts.  I never have had any pregnancy symptons or sore boobs even before IVF – in fact no side effects from the drugs at all – not sure if this is a good or bad sign.

Fingers crossed that St Paddy’s day’s brings all you girls your wishes come true.  

I have to agree RFC limited and I was not really impressed with them when we first tried them in 2008 – our cycle did not work with them, but on the plus two months later fell pregnant naturally with Jake, born May 2009.  We had cycle with own eggs in sept 10 at Reprofit, initially pregnant with twins, lost one around 5 weeks and then at 12 weeks miscarried.  We decided to use donor eggs this time due to my age and low egg reserve.  I was hoping that by using a donor we would at least have some eggs for freezing so my heart broke when we got the email none suitable yesterday.  Again this brings WHAT IF questions regarding should we have insisted on 3 being put back rather than 2.  DH does not understand why I am so upset, but it this has not worked out for us then it looks like the end of our treatment for us.


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## bron11

Tearful - posted before i read your last post.  I know how you are feelign re seeing pregnant people when in the two weeks.  When we had our first ivf my daughter was due and i was in the delivery room with her - hard but we managed to keep going somehow.  Glad your feeling more postive today.


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## Ermitrude

Thanks Tearful and Bron for your lovely words about my son.  It is beyond devastating and you never get over it you just manage to keep going somehow, he was so brave and fought so hard to stay with us, that i feel we're doing his memory justice by keeping going too.  I agree miscarriage is devastating too Bron, I had a missed mc 2 months before conceiving ds and it completely floors you.

I'm so sorry that you lost twins Bron, that is incredibly cruel.

I'm glad that the girls were able to re-assure you a wee bit Tearful, you never just know with symptoms/pains!!

To answer your questions Bron, no had nothing to freeze - have low amh only had 3 embies from 4 eggs so delighted to get to blast. Have been to blast before on 1st ivf in may 2010 - got 4 blasts from 5 embies but all bfns as didn't know about my immune problems.

Yep on lots of drugs for the immunes - steroids, aspirin, clexane, high dose folic acid, intralipids and my thryoid meds - so i rattle if you shake me  .

Feeling pretty crampy today, hoping its a good sign as i'm 3dp5dt and the embies should be snuggling in


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## bron11

Emi - fingers crossed


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## Tearful

My 2ww finished early.        Its all over.

Many Best Wishes and lots of love to all of you. xx


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## bron11

Tearful, i am so sorry to read this.  Really feel your pain.  Here if you want to talk  Lots of hugs


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## Ermitrude

Tearful am just gutted for you pet.  Sending big      your way and am here if you need/want to chat.


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## IGWIN79

Tearful i am so sorry hun, no words can make you feel any better , massive cyber hugs 
were all here if you need anything


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## bron11

For those girls who are getting closer to test date, fingers crossed and positive vibes


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## Ermitrude

Thanks Bron - not too much longer to go for me now!

How are you doing hun?


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## delgir1223

Oh Tearfull i am soo so sorry for yo I now it's devistating sending hugs to you    

To every one else fingers crossed,  this 2ww is driving me mad


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## bron11

I have no signs of AF or pregnacy - but then  i never have signs of either and AF usually comes on time so still waiting game.  

Anyone going to test early?  

Nikki Emi - what you doing to keep sane?  Me got the cold again, over last 4 months only not had it for 1 week - so annoying.  Being off work has however given me chance to paint, clean house (somewhat) - still lots to do.  Anyone looking for a move our house for sale!!!

Sweetchilli - the worry never goes away when trying to get pregnant, pregnant or when little one born but hope your enjoying every moment of being pregnant.  How's the bump growing?

Bron


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## Kathryn_D

Hi Girls,

I am 11days post 3 day transfer I caved in and did a pregnancy test this morning which was Positive but i started having a red blood discharge which really panicked me, doctors have increased my progesterone and luckily the bleeding is bck to brown and really light, just keeping positive and hoping those 2 little lines stay there. my actual test date is 18th. 

Fingers and toes crossed for everyone waiting.

There should be 2ww meetings for ladies going mad waiting lol 

Kathryn xx


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## bron11

Kathryn - Brill news, sending all my wishes that your beany still put.  Did you do treatment here or aboard.  
Re: progesterone - what is your current dosage?  Mine is 400mg twice a day and if I get pregnant to use till 10 weeks.


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## Kathryn_D

Hi, 

I am on 400mg three times a day, and if I am pregnant I use up until 12 weeks and when I hear the little heartbeat    I am feeling to nervous to even think that I am pregnant because of the spotting so In the space of 3 hours I did 5 tests all with that second faint line, (thinks its too early for a big bold one), I had my treatment done here at London Womens Clinic in Darlington and London. I had to use both clinics as I have a heart condition called SVT so i needed a anaethestist present, but alls fine. When is your test date, are you dying to do a test 

Fingers crossed for you and everyone on here    xx


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## bron11

test date due on 21st, day i go back to work!! Not sure if i will test earlier, resided to it not having worked in my head so I may just wait and see what time will tell.  Maybe this is just a way of putting of the inevitalbe so i can cling to the possible hope of it working!!!
Those faint lines will get stronger.  Glad your having good care, may it continue.


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## Ermitrude

Congrats Kathryn and what a worry on the same day as bfp.  Tg your docs were on top of it all and added more progesterone.  Will they do betas for you as you'll be waiting a while for a scan?

Good on ya Bron with the house cleaning/painting.

I went back to work today, otd is Friday only 10dp5dt so glad to be here to be distracted.  But honestly not doing much in the way of work - surfing the net all day!!


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## Kathryn_D

I was shocked more than anything I had 3 days of brown stringy discharge (sorry to be disgusting) so when I saw red, I cried and cried, Local doctors have already sent off blood and urine tests to hospital for analysis and a definate outcome, I only did a test because I woke up and was sick twice (even though its too early for morning sickness) so thought it cant hurt, just relieved the bleeding is stopping and hasnt been heavy, although I am due my actual period on fri, so still nerve wracking as I am still getting a heavy feeling in my ovaries, although I was borderline OHSS as I produced 18 eggs for collection, I dont think I will believe Im pregnant untill i have have a baby in my arms, I went through about 5 days of telling everyone I wasnt pregnant and crying myself to sleep because I was sure I wasnt after 5 years of trying, I am sure that you will both get BFP's and i will keep both of you in my thoughts for your test days xx


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## bron11

Keep positive Kathryn - the worry never stops but as one day passes you get closer to holding your little one in your arms.  

Emi - glad work helping you stay sane in some way - not long now, fingers crossed.


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## Tearful

Nikki - good luck for the morning xx


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## Kathryn_D

hi again,

so so so so so scared still bleeding still lighter than a period but too heavy for spotting now, pregnancy test still strong positive, reckon its over now tho, devastated


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## bron11

Sorry to read this, can you go to A&E or early pregnancy clinic for a check up - don't know if this helps or not just a thought.  Try and not give up yet, a lot of girls on here have had bleeding and gone on to have a successful pregnancy.  Lots of hugs bron


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## bron11

Nikki - fingers crossed hope it is good news (don't know how to send baby dust to anyone).


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## Kathryn_D

yeah doctors are sending me to maternity to sit amongst the bumps, hopefully they will be able to tell me one way or another, trying to stay strong now but caught my other half crying so its floored me, still want to send good luck messages to everyone testing soon, I hope no one else in the entire world has to go through this


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## Dannii_Doots

sorry to but in ladies but jus wanted to say to kathryn when i was pregnant the tests were negative & as i was bleeding, (first response) thought it was just an odd period, tested again & it was positive  thing is i bled throughout my pregnancy & was scaned regularly. The doctors never found the cause of the blood, just one of them things that can & does happen, thats her in the picture  not sure if this helps but its not over yet


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## Kathryn_D

hi dannii doots,

That does help a little bit still proper worrying, will update when i get back from doctors, I hear all these stories which lifts my spirits but when i see that blood it scares the hell out of me, as I am actually due my period yesterday and today, its just confusing me that my pregnancy tests are getting stronger rather than lighter, confused isnt the word.

I really appreciate you telling me your story, filled with a bit more hope now    xx


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## Tearful

Well, today was official test day so even though i knew it was over from Monday i used the hospital home pregnancy test- still negative.    After reading lots about bleeding i had a slither of hope left but that light just went out. 

Hope all goes well for everyone else xx Thinking of you all


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## bron11

tearful - wish i could give you a hug in person, life is so unfair    don't give up you will be a mum in the future.  bron xx

Kathryn - positive vibes sent your way - bron x


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## delgir1223

Guys I feel awfull posting when so much bad news I wish I could magic you all big positives.

afm test day today after thinking I would be up and eager to test I didn't want to get out of bed did and boy am I glad I did bfp for me...

Thinking of you all 

Nikki


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## Ermitrude

Kathryn you poor pet, its not easy.  Like Danni i had bleeding all through the first trimester with ds and they put it down to cervical ectropion - the cervix being irritated by the pessaries, so am praying that its something like that for you too.          .

Tearful i'm so sorry hun - its never ever easy to see only one line  

Great news Nikki, delighted for you hun   

Afm after 1.5 years of fertility treatment since losing my ds - 4 iuis, 3 fresh and one FET ivf cycle we've finally gotten our bfp - am in total shock, its a long road ahead for us after all that happened with ds but delighted and can just take one day at a time.


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## delgir1223

Oh Ermi soooo pleased for you thats what we've been saying one day at a time....

wishing you the best of luck.


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## bron11

Nikki and Emi - fantastic news, you can only take it one day at a time.  Here to the future.


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## anniebabe

Ermi, just had to post to wish you big big congratulations to you and your DH, you both so deserve this good news - so feet up and enjoy the next 8.5 mths before your little one/s arrive.

P.s not sure if you remember me - we cycled together before Christmas so i have been following your current cycle and am just so thrilled for you, big hugs to you both   

Hi to all the other girls on this thread x


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## Kathryn_D

Doctor has done beta test and got another one monday to see if it is rising or falling so fingers crossed, still bleeding tho  , congratulations to those with BFP's and tearful, I am sorry about your news and hopefully it will be successful in the near future   ,

sending much   to all those still in the 2ww


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## mollycat

hiya girls, sorry for being nosy but was reading some of your posts....

Kathryn-d- just wanted to say i tested 3 days early and got a BFP, the day after i bleed loads of red blood, cryed the whole day and thought it was over, blood changed to brown on test day,  still thought i was all over as my tests were all such a pale positive, a week later still a pale positive... and 16 weeks on baby is still with me ( bleed also at 7 weeks scan day and 9 weeks ) dont stress to much, even though its hard!! sending you loads of


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## Babypowder

Sorry to gatecrash, just wanted to send Kathryn D some          although we've never 'spoken' I know what your going through, my 1st tx was the same with bleeding, started 9dpt-turned out id lost one embie (scan at 7wks showed an area where embie would have been) but the other had hung on! so dont give up yet   -though really when its happening all you want is an answer either way. I kept testing and the lines kept getting darker, dont think hosp believed me at 1st.

Sadly I did go on to lose the other a couple of wks later-but everyone is different. I had bleeding 2nd tx aswell, it was a cervical erosion discovered at 10wks, your body goes through so much with tx so bleeding can be for lots of reasons.

Not sure if this will help but I rem when it was me, I was spending hrs looking up FF and google for similar stories, really hope your beta has jumped up   .


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## Kathryn_D

Hi, Babypowder,

thanks for your reply, I am still really hopeful bleeding has kind of stopped with occasional light watery pink discharge, still getting stronger lines on tests, still feel pregnant, sickness, weeing, things i used to like eating taste disgusting, so trying to keep positive, I have exhausted the internet looking for reassurance, and I have to say this forum has been so supportive.

Still wishing good look to all those ttc and in 2ww xxx


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## Jillyhen

Hi Kathryn and all the other ladies on this thread

I had been lurking and reading but never posted as i had had my e/t yet but now that has been done i cant believe we have joined the waiting game again.

Hope everyone is well.

Jillyhen x


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## Kathryn_D

Hi Jillyhen,

Welcome to the 2ww, its tough but you will get through it, if you need any advice or support here is defo the place to be, sending you loads of babydust    and            

Kathryn x


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## bron11

Jillyhen, welcome, and welcome to the two weeks of madness - keeping yourself busy is possibly the best advice i can give, and not over analysie your body or signs (or lack of them in my case).

Kathryn, things sound positive - heres to them continuing.
Ladies, first of all thank you all for your support this has been greatly appreciated.  I did a test yesterday 3 days early.  Reprofit own one, it was negative.  After I got out of the bath I could not believe this had not work so took the test out of the bin and it was positive.  I thought I was getting my period last night as slight staining but nothing today.  I did another test yesterday and came up positive so I think I can say I am pregnant.  Very early days yet and we will take it one day at a time as I know from experience things can go cruelly wrong.  Role on the next 9 months.  Bron xx


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## Ermitrude

Oh Bron that is just fantastic news - big congrats hun       .   for a nice stickie beanie.


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## Tearful

Bron! 

Many best wishes xx


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## Kathryn_D

Congrats Bron,   , I am glad to say I am also joining you in the    club, sincerely wish with all my heart that everyone else goes on to get the same results, glad test day is out the way, can relax into enjoying it now,

          ,   and          to everybody xx


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## bron11

Thanks ladies, Kathryn couldn't have said it better myself, wish everyone could get a poisitive with a positive outcome.  Don't give up ladeis, it will happen .  XX


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## Ermitrude

Great news Kathryn - congrats huni. xxx


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## Kathryn_D

thank you ermi    xx


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## Jillyhen

Omg

I go away for a day and what brilliant news.

Congrats Bron & Kathryn so delighted for you both.

I should know next week what our outcome is as af is due to rear her ugly head 4 days before official test date.

Jillyhen


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## Kathryn_D

hi jillyhen        for you, I was due on a few days before test day and clinic think this was the cause of my bleeding, its called breakthrough bleeding or something, but it could have been anything so if it happens and you bleed more than spotting less than period, DONT PANIC, bed rest no walking and avoid caffeine like the plague lol, other than that good luck and let us know the outcome    fingers crossed for sticky beanies xx


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## Jillyhen

Thanks Kathryn

Im trying to rest as much as possible. Im trying to keep as positive as much as possible as we want this more than anything and it means so much.

I have the odd wee niggle and stitch nut thats after i have been sitting for a while.Would this be normal?

Jillyhen x


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## Kathryn_D

Yeah, you can still get all the usual pains and aches that a period would bring without even losing a drop, I got told that because of the sheer amount of changes in your body going on in these first few weeks it can cause all kinds of feelings we may never have had before. But all these can be really good signs that your body is getting ready for a little one, I know its easy to over analyse every little thing that we feel but if you get a niggle, do a crossword or something to take your mind off it, dont dwell on it or start googling it lol, its the worse thing you can do. I am still bleeding now only a little bit its been 7 days of browm/red/pink lighter than period, heavier than spotting, but my beta blood test is showing increasing hormone levels which is a good sign and my home tests are stronger and stronger and I am only a day out of my 2ww, I got a BFP day 11 after transfer, so remember it doesnt always spell disaster if you do start bleeding when your period should be due.         xx


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## delgir1223

Ladies what great news to be reading on here Bron and Kathryn fantastic news on your      
Jillyhen fingers crossed for you try to stay positive and don't go too nuts on the 2ww.

Love and wishes and baby glue to all of you.

Afm I have a 6 week scan booked on april4th day after mummy's day..... I will take that as a good sign...


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## Kathryn_D

hi delgirl, 

awwww 6 week scan Im having a five week scan on 11 april cant wait, just had my first hcg level test back it was 117 at 2 weeks 5 days, so just waiting for comparison one to see if its increasing, finding it hard to stay grounded and not get too excited yet , good luck for your scan sure everything is growing as it should      

love kathryn x


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## Jillyhen

Ah girls

I just dying to test and i know i way 2 early but i just want to know if its or time or not. I have the odd wee twinge and cramp but nothing major. Af is due next mon and i would normally have cramps 2/3 days before she rears her ugly head.

Hope you are all well dying to have your scans.

Jillyhen


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## FitFinn

Wow, so much good news on this thread, hope it gives those of you some hope who didn't get ur BFP!

I'm delighted for everyone! 

Jillyhen, I know its tempting but you def can't test just yet, ET was only 4 days ago....they might only be snuggling in just now! I'd wait until at least 10dpt. I tested at 7dpt and got negative, then when I tested at 10dpt a very faint positive which kept getting stronger until OTD.

2ww is tough.....no way round it methinks although keeping busy def helps!

thinkin of u all as I know how hard it is! 

my scan is on Wed, only 2 more sleeps!


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## Jillyhen

Hey fitfinn

I wouldnt do it anyway will wait till otd if i can.

The pains have got a wee bit stronger as if af is on her way starting to get worried now.

Im sure you cant wait for your scan.

Jillyhen


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## Kathryn_D

Jillyhen, I had AF pains and did start bleeding but seems like I have a sticky snuggly beanie on board so dont be disheartened if she does pay a quick visit,        for you, I also tested early and got that faint little line, thought I could hold out to OTD but it got the better of me lol.

Hi Fitfinn, couldnt have said it better myself this thread seems to have some success, Im dying for my scan Im so impatient lol, let us know how it goes xx


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## Jillyhen

Hi Kathryn

i really hope that we are successful 2, i cant help worrying even tho i am taking it easy.

Jillyhen


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## Kathryn_D

its only natural to feel like that, I spent the first week being ultra positive, then I spent 3 days crying solidly telling everyone it was unsuccessful as I was sure it had failed then a few more days positive then back to crying, its a rollercoaster, but the ladies on here are amazing support, you really can ask them anything or tell them how your feeling, Im keeping everything crossed for you, keep thinking positive and take it really easy         xx


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## Jillyhen

Im trying really hard not to think about it but every time i get a cramp i panick hopefully i wont have 2 long to wait.

Jillyhen


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## bron11

Jillyhen - if only we could go into hybernation for the two weeks and then wake up with big positives for everyone.  It is hard not to analysise every sign, twinge or lack of them over the two weeks as we put so much of our own enegry and emotions into getting the things we all desire so much, BFP.  Holding out to the test date is tough going, so do what ever you can to keep positive (positive self talk not very good at it myself!) and keep your mind occurpied.  I tested 3 days before my due date, but was taking a risk on this incase it was a false negative, so have tested twice since then as well as getting bloods done.  While they still say positive still very early days for me and everyone else who has a positive so I suppose we can only take it one take at a time but with an optimisit outlook.  Ok too much talk, just trying to say time will tell and try and keep positive till then.

goodluck with all those who have their scans booked, exciting times.  I still have to try and arrange mine at some point.

Fitfin - welcome, your scan first - keep us all posted - 

Ladies any bets who will being having twins first?

Kathryn - go with the rollercoater ride after all you have so many emotions to deal with.

Hugs to everyone espeically those who have not got their pregnancy this time round - (Tearful).

bron xx


----------



## Kathryn_D

I think we will have a few sets of twins from ladies on this thread, everyone of my family think Im going to have them, but Im doubtful, although it would be amazing, not long for ladies with scans booked to find out tho, it will be interesting.

Wish I had a magic wand so everybody could get pregnant and go on to have healthy babies, its kind of the reason I did egg share to give someone going through the heartbreak I have been going through the chance for a family, I cant think of a better gift to give someone, so I know she isnt on here but I want to send her       and I truly hope she has had her bfp ( she recieved 9 of my eggs so chances are good )

Still sending my thoughts for everyone in the 2ww, and extra prayers and positive thoughts for those that didnt suceed this time, Im sure it it just around the corner xx


----------



## Jillyhen

Hey girls

My sis is preg with twins due in the next 6-8 weeks, we have twins on our side not sure about dh's side as he is adopted. She has been joking that since we have 2 embies put back on will split and we will end up with triplets!!

I just want to get thru this next week and see what the results are.

Dunno what is goin on inside im very crampy etc.

Kathryn you are a star for doing that, what a lovely gift.

Jillyhen


----------



## Kathryn_D

Hi, Just had my Beta result back and they have dropped from 117 to 57 in the space of 4 days, I had two embryos implanted, is it possible I am still pregnant or is that it now?


----------



## IGWIN79

Kathryn , what did they say to you hun


----------



## Kathryn_D

it was my local doc he said its bad news and that my levels had dropped, when husband spoke to clinic they want me to carry on with progesterone and get another beta on thurs in case I just lost one, would have thought my levels would remain going up even after losing one


----------



## Kathryn_D

just went to my friends for comfort, saw 6 baby bumps, 3 new borns and numerous babies, I cant cope scared my hubby have thrown 6 plates and broke them, dunno what to do


----------



## AmandaB1971

Dont want to raise your hopes Kathryn but sometimes if you lose one the levels do go down because it's no longer a twin pg, so they go down before they go up IYSWIM.  Please do as the clinic asked carry on with progesterone support, try to stay calm and positive and see what Thursday brings.

 

Axxx


----------



## Kathryn_D

Just spoke to clinic and doctor there has said he has never seen it but he has heard of it happening where it dips then rises again after loses one, not hopeful but we shall see will let you know, thank you for all your support xx


----------



## IGWIN79

wishing you all the luck in the world hun , hang in there


----------



## Kathryn_D

thankyou sweetchilli,

If only there was a magic cure for infertility, still hope my recipient gets her outcome, it will seem such a waste of my eggs if we both fail


----------



## Kathryn_D

I just feel like such a failure, I am crying and grieving for something I never really had, how do you get through this


----------



## Kathryn_D

yeah we have been talking, he is trying to be strong for me, but i hear him crying, its so hard, i have upmost respect for all ladies that have ever had a m/c or lost a baby its the worst in the world, wish none of this kind of stuff existed, life should be easier for good people, thank you sweetchilli you have been a godsend to talk to today xx


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## AmandaB1971

Kathryn

You are grieving for something you did have which is hopes and dreams and a positive peestick.  Don't ever feel bad for feeling sad and needing to go through the grieving process it's completely normal.

I also wish we could give you a great big   you will get through this we always do hun.  Use these boards as much as you need to whilst you feel so low.

Axxx


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## IGWIN79

No probs hun, and if you need a chat anytime just pm me , i know i would have been lost with out ff when i had my MC , So make sure you use it , as for DH alls you can do is be there for each other , i found that me and DH grew stronger through out tx  just keep talking to each other         
loads of love and hugs hun xxx


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## delgir1223

hi ladies,

Oh Kathryn, so so hard for you not knowing, my clinic don't do beta tests just pee on stick then scan at 6 weeks, I still expext to go and see nothing... so I can only imagine what your going through.

good luck for tomorrow I hope your prayers ar answered everything crossed for you

Nikki


----------



## Ermitrude

Oh Kathryn you poor poor pet   I really hope that your next bloods show an improvement.  Its so difficult hun, thinking of you. xxxxx


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## Kathryn_D

Thanks you all so much for all your help and support, beta test now at 0 so its over but i wish with all my heart that everyone else gets a better result, we will be trying again, just not yet, Im not strong enough to do it again just yet.
xx


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## AmandaB1971

Kathryn

I am so sorry  

Be kind to each other, you have to try and stick together and support each other after something like this.  For what it's worth you are completely right to wait a little while and recover from this cycle first.  I always used to do that, sometimes I'd wait 3 months, sometimes just 6 weeks, sometimes 6 months just until as you say I felt strong enough.

 

Axxx


----------



## Ermitrude

Oh Kathryn hun I'm just so so sorry, I know the heartbreak of miscarriage and unfortuately also losing a child.  Be good to yourself and your dh and allow yourselves time to grieve this loss.


----------



## delgir1223

Oh kathryn so sorry for you and your dh be there for each other and I'm sure you will make it through a stronger couple for it readys fopr the next fight, I'm sure in time your time will come and you'll achieve your dreams.

xxx


----------



## Jillyhen

Kathryn

How are you hun? I had been reading the posts and even tho i have been thinking of you i just didnt know what to say. So sorry for you and Dh   .

Jillyhen


----------



## Kathryn_D

Hi everyone, 

thank you so much for all your kind words, today is better, still painful, I have taken a step back today and let the other half have his grief all to himself, it was hard for him yesterday as he was staying strong for me, so Im glad I found the strength to repay him today.

xx


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## Jillyhen

How are you doin Kathryn?


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## bron11

Kathryn - sorry i have not replied sooner, only chance to get on line as had been working 12 hours over the last few days.  Life is so unfair but you need time to grieve and try as best as possible to come to terms with the loss of your little one/s.  This is a hard process for both you and your husband, esp as you egg shared and don't know the outcome of that yet.  Keep at the back of your mind that you will become a parent one day, hopefully sooner than later, and you and DH will make brillant parents, so don't give up hope.  If you need to talk, meet up what ever email me and i can arrange this.  Can give you hug in person so sending you lots of hugs.  Please look after yourselves.  bron xxx


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## Jillyhen

Hey girls

How are you all?

Sorry this is about me but im in a bit of a tizzy. I have been awful cramps and i cant help thinking af is on her way, i have been so good about not thinking about my 2 ww but i now have it in my head that our ivf didnt work.

Jillyhen


----------



## 2Angels

Hi
Everyone

I've just started the 2 week wait had frozen transfer on wed


----------



## Jillyhen

Hi 2 angels

Hope the 2 ww wont be 2 long for you

Jillyhen x


----------



## Katie789

Hey ladies,

Another 2wwer joining the ranks. Had day two et yest so if I make it this time (and I can resist early testing) otd is 8th april which feels like YEARS away!! 

Katie xx


----------



## mollycat




----------



## Jillyhen

Whoo hoo Katie delighted for you..

Ive just under a week left till i test, although  im getting cramps


----------



## bron11

Jillyhen, try not to analyse symptoms too much as they can be so misleading, only time will tell, ry and keep positive

2Angles, Katie – welcome, how do you plan to keep yourselves sane on the two weeks?


----------



## Jillyhen

Thanks Bron

Im really doin my own head in at the min panicking every time i get a pain or cramps start. Thank god there is no bleeding just wishing my life away.

I know e/c was traumatic enoug for me and i suppose the e/t was sore 2 so that prob explains why im sore.. 

Wish i knew what my embies where up 2 and if they are goin to stay 

Jillyhen


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## Jen xx

hey girls..

hope ur all well..

not long to test day now jillyhen..

thank goodness..

i cant wait to get back to work on tues least then next week mite go bit quicker..

good luck everyone

baby dust to u all...
    


Jenna xx


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## Jillyhen

Jenna

I could be temptet to test early, im goin mad but i think as im at home today my mind is on nothing else.

Jillyhen


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## Katie789

Morning all,

Jilly the not knowing really does drive you mental, but I agree with bron. You cant analyse every wee twinge. Its hard not to think the worst but the pessaries can cause cramps, as can implantation, recovery from drugs and et/ec - its not always a sign af is coming. 

In saying that I know this time next week ill be thinking the same. I dont really know what im gonna do to keep my mind occupied. Im trying to just get on as normal although I have booked the two weeks off work. Not to rest up, but my af came on day 12 last time, and there is no way I would want to be in work if the same thing happened again. Will prob give the house a much needed spring clean and tidy up the garden. 

Am def having a lazy day today though. Was at a wedding yest and had a great day. Not wanting to feel left out and also wanting to avoid millions of questions I had a good few glasses of non alcoholic wine. Well by the time I got to bed I felt tipsy, and feel seriously rough this morning. The barstaff better not have been pretending it was alcohol free as I drove home over 60 miles! 

Soooooo tired, but dog menacing me to take her out so should get up. Can always doze later  

Katie xx


----------



## Jillyhen

Hi Katie

More pains this morning im totally convinced that its def on its way even tho im trying to remain positive.

I have a very cling cat at the minhe is normally wont come near you but he has been sitting on my knee and lying on my arm when im curled on the sofa..

I actually had 2 bottles of becks n/a last nite with lemonade and it actually tasted very nice. I havent really missed the wine at all in that nice sunshine yest i wouldve loved a magners lol.

Hope you are keeping well Katie

Jillyhen


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## bron11

Katie - keeping busy sounds good, some pampering also sounds good, dvd's and feet up!!!  Hope your head better.

Jillyhen - cat on the knee good sign as they can tell when someone is pregnant before we can!

Jenna - here's to your week going faster - you going to test early?

Not long ladies - figners crossed for you all.


----------



## Jen xx

hey bron

nah think il hold off til fri cos if its negative i only wanna look at it the once lol..not even sure wat day i could start testin from if i was to do it early..prob tomorro but ive only 2 tests and refuse to buy any more!!

Jenna xx


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## Jillyhen

Thanks bron

Im feeling rotten tonite so sore and ive noticed a couple of brown spots when i go to the loo..

Be great if cats could, even the dog is being gentle with me 2 but my mum has been telling him that ive a sore tummy and be gentle.. You would think he was a child lol, bu i tell you he does understand.

Im off to bed now have a banging headache 

Nite all

Jillyhen x


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## Katie789

Jilly,

I agree the cats and dogs can def sense something. They must have ultra sensitive hormone sensors, makes sense with the amount of pee sniffing my dog does at every lamppost, fence, kerb when out for walkkies. I might ask if I can borrow next doors cat next week to see if it sits on my lap, way cheaper than buying a test everyday! 

Hope the heads better, and from what the hospital told me, and what lots of ff have experienced, brown spotting a week or so after et can be a good sign.

Katie xx


----------



## delgir1223

Ladies, hope you are all well,

Jilly try not to worry brown spotting could be implantation bleeding sounds about the right time scale and some people get bad cramps at the time....  also some people get a breakthough bleed about the time their period would be due just due to the fact your body thinks it should still be doing it's thing but that should be about 14 days after ovulation/egg collection so I would think it's a bit earlier for tyhe old witch AF to be on her way.... I have all crossed for you


----------



## Jillyhen

Thanks girls

Im a right moaning minnie at the min.

Have had the odd wee twinge today. My last af came on the 28th Feb and i was normally bang on time but it was a week late the last time and it came when i was down seeing Usher..

lol Katie Oscar is very clingy at the min before that he wouldve giving you a scape or 2 if you tried to carry him..

Jillyhen xx


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## Kathryn_D

I know this isnt the place for it but some of you ladies have helped me so much, Im at an all time low, my best friend has just told me she is pregnant (naturally conceived of course) she is exactly the same time into her pregnancy as I would have been and to top it all she has been given the midwife appointment I gave up after the mc, I am so tempted to go out and get so slaughtered I dont know my own name, I dont know what to do, or where to turn, I feel like I was given a baby, then had it took off me and given to her, I am so angry and have cried my eyes raw red, I feel so lonely and so empty


----------



## Katie789

Oh kathryn,

I really do feel for you. Two of my best friends announced their pregnancies just as I was about to start my second treatment. A third who was using protection so she wouldnt get pregnant fell pregnant at exactly the time I  would have if our treatment worked. I was absolutely devastated, mad with rage, and bitterly jealous. As I share an office with her its been hard to watch her grow and chat about her symptoms, etc. But ive had to just accept (with major difficulty and daily struggles) that this is her time. I will have mine.

You will have yours. Your feelings are understandable as you are grieving, as you work through it you will get stronger  

Katie xx


----------



## Kathryn_D

I have been awful to her this afternoon, ignoring her etc, but she is excited and wants to chat but I cant, i physically cant without crying, she even brought me her positive test to show me, which sets me off again because I think of the positive test I have stashed in a drawer which I just cannot bring myself to throw away, I am happy for her but so so so so so angry that I have been ttc for 7 yrs and she decided she wanted another (her 3rd) and bang 1 month later is pregnant, I was doing so well its not even been a week since mc but I have been able to go out and even look to the future but now I feel like I am not even at step one again, I cant bare the thought of sitting around watching her grow big, when I am struggling to finance next cycle. when people used to say they feel heartbroken I never understood how you could feel that, but today I just feel like my heart is in tiny black shards in my chest.


----------



## Jillyhen

Aw Kathryn

Does she know what you went thru?


----------



## Kathryn_D

yep, she was even with me when I got the beta test results confirming the miscarriage, she cried with me and everything, now she doesnt care cos she has what she wants


----------



## Katie789

Kathryn,

I was just going to ask the same thing. Even if she does know, she will never truly know the pain you are in. You will feel better pet, trust me. 

Katie xx


----------



## ababyb

Kathryn ur feelings at the minute are totally understandable, ur heads wrecked, u feel broken inside and every breath you take just seems to cause more pain, unless u've travelled this road u can never fully understand the devestation of a loss or negative cycle.  It will get better and u will feel stronger so take strenght from that.

its 11 wks since my mc and i'm almost back to my old self, be take a good thing or not lol i'm now preparing myself to go again after vowing never again. slowly the tears will dry up and u'll feel better in urself, good things are ahead of u. in the meantime i'll     u get the strenght to get through this heart wrenching difficult time. ur not alone


----------



## Kathryn_D

she is really doing my head in, she text me and said, it will happen to you, bloody hell only a pregnant woman could say that, she has it, she will go on and have a healthy baby and I will sit here smiling and offering help and advice as she gets bigger and i carry on struggling, and I just found out that my brother in laws partner is pregnant he is 16 she is 18 and she doesnt even want it, she is having it and putting it up for adoption, this is all after I found out she has spent the last 4 weeks making herself throw up because someone called her fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously whoever decides who has babies should be fired because they are doing an awful job. On the plus side my recipient is pregnant am so HAPPY for her, my whole experience wasnt a waste of time, I truly hope she goes on to have a gorgeous baby or babies  and everyone on here it goes without saying that I forbid anyone to go through what I have, you must all have your dreams and wishes come true xxx


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## Katie789

Kathryn,

As much as she is your friend and you want to support her, you really need to put yourself first at the moment. Maybe you should explain to her that while you are happy for her, its really too painful to for you to talk about her news at the moment. Those of us who are onthis journey have the pain of seeing babies everywhere, but we need to protect ourselves when we can. If she truly wants to support you through this she will accept it

Katie xx


----------



## Jillyhen

Kathryn

I agree with Katie on this one. My sis is preg and due in less than 8 weeks this is her 1st preg and she is gaving twins and i work with a girl who is due in July. Although im hurting inside i can never let it show i cry my tears behind closed doors. I did take it bad when my sis told me but i got over it.

Can you not adopt that wee baby? Life isnt fair hun

Chin up

Jillyhen x


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## Katie789

Kathryn, How are you feeling today? 

Jenna, how are you getting on. Have you been tempted to test before fri? 

Jilly I know you are on eggshells til then too x

Are we the only three yet to test?? Hopefully those of you have already tested can tell me if we still get all the pmt symptoms during the 2ww? Ive been snappy, had night flushes and waking in the middle of the night. I always get these symptoms exactly one week before bleed starts so they are bang on time. Has anyone else had this? 

Katie xx


----------



## Jillyhen

Katie

Ive been like that throughout my treatment lol

Esp more over the last 24 hours.

Im not sure who else is on the 2ww..

Is it the 8th you test?

Jillyhen


----------



## Katie789

Jilly,

Yeah, its the 8th. The hot flushes and sleepless nights had stopped when I started stimming, but like I said they are bang on time for my monthly. My (.)(.)s are absolutely hughmungus compared to normal. I told dh that if doesnt work im gonna stay on cyclogest forever to keep them! 

Katie xx


----------



## shazd

Hi

A few people are meeting up tomorrow evening at 6 Mount Charles, off University road/Botanic Avenue Belfast. There will be some guest speakers tallking about loss then a discussion on "mothers day" and how best to cope. Come along for tea, coffee and chat either on your own or with your partner. For more info pm me for details. thanks

Sharon

Phone number removed by volunteer - please do not put personal information in posts - thanks


----------



## bron11

Ladies just checking in how everyone is
Kathryn pm for you.

Good luck for those testing soon, bron


----------



## Jillyhen

Thanks bron 

Jillyhen x


----------



## Katie789

Jilly and Jen,

Will be thinking of you both tomorrow   for bfps.

Love 

Katie xx


----------



## Jillyhen

Hi girls

My wee inkling was correct tested this morning and sadly it was  BFN   ... We are both totally devastated.  After all the beeding on tues and wed i knew there wudnt be a chance.

Jillyhen x


----------



## babydreams282

Jilly - im so so sorry hun, i obviously dont know what your going through right now and dont really know what to say but i am thinking of you, i hope you find the strength to carry on, take some time out, you and DH look after eachother


----------



## Jillyhen

Thanks babyd

Hubby is at work he keeps ringing to see if im alrite.

It will be tough but we just have to be strong for each other.

Jillyhen xx


----------



## babydreams282

Jilly - he is probably worried sick about you with him having to work and now being able to be at home to look after you, must be melting his head.  Staying strong is sometimes easier said than done but your going through this together.  Have you any plans made for the weekend, maybe you could arrange to do something special together.


----------



## Kathryn_D

Hi Jillyhen, so so so sorry bout your result, and wish you all the best for the future    xx


----------



## Jillyhen

Thanks Kathryn. how are you doin?

Sadly babyd hubby is working and cant get off   

jillyhen


----------



## Kathryn_D

Im ok thanks hun, getting there day by day, got to wait for my next proper period then I am starting chlomid and having a quick go at IUI, then bk on for ICSI egg share again, its a rollercoaster, but you know what I mean, truly hope we all get there one day soon, I cant stand any more heartbreak for anyone xx


----------



## babydreams282

Jillyhen & Kathryn im   for you both, your time will come!


----------



## Katie789

Kathryn,

Good to hear you are slowly getting there, what you went through was truly devastating. Hope the friend thing was sorted out and she helping you along.


Ive def had something going on down there today. Its not sore, just like the feeling you get when tummy empty, but its v low down  


Katie xx


----------



## babydreams282

Katie - lets hope its your embies snuggling in tight hun   for you


----------



## Katie789

Thanks babyd. I really really hope so. Thank goodness its the weekend and dh is home. Have been off all week and have kept myself busy but the weekend will break the 2ww up. I bled on day ten last time, so from tuesday onwards I think im gonna be going radio rental   

Jen, hoping your test today had a good outcome  

Am the last tester on the dec cycle buddies thread. Hopefully it has a positive ending  

Katie xx


----------



## Kathryn_D

Hi Katie, yeah its all sorted, I am strangely more ok with it now, I have been making sure she is taking her folic acid lol, and finding myself keep bringing it up when I asked her not to talk about it, I think all this is making me slightly crazy.

Sending       and Im    that everyone still in the 2ww get the outcome they want.

Jilly; our time will come I can feel it   

xxx


----------



## Polly19

Jillyhen and Kathryn - my heart goes out to you both -    praying that you feel stronger soon.

Katie79 - wishing you a happy ending next week.


----------



## Jen xx

hey girls 

so sorry for u.....

ur time will come and hopefully someday soon..

i got a BFP today....

im delighted but just sad it hasnt happened for u all..

take care

Jen xx


----------



## Kathryn_D

Hi Jen Woo hoo some good news and hope for all of us Congratulations   so so so happy for you xxx

got my new clinic sorted closer to home, got my consultation and blood tests in 2 weeks so here we go again


----------



## babydreams282

Hey Jen - Big congratulations to you!  So happy for you, it def does give the rest of us hope


----------



## Little Miss Bumble Bee

Hey Girls, have to admit to being a bit of a lurker on here but I just wanted to post after reading Kathryn's post. I totally understand how you feel hun, all my friends seemed to get pregnant either by "mistake" or without any problems when I miscarried at 9 weeks. Exactally a year to the day of my miscarriage we took our adorable baby boy home from hospital, the following day we took his twin brother home. They were born at 32 weeks and spend 2 weeks in neonatal, they are now 6 months old and perfect. Never ever give up hope, hold onto your dreams, miracles do happen.


----------



## bron11

Jen fantastic news.

Jillyhen - sorry cutted for you.

Ladies i am going to sign off this thread as now out of the two weeks, but i want to wish everyone the outcome they are all looking for, now and in the future.  Be kind to yourselves.  bron xx


----------



## Jillyhen

Hi Girls

Whoop whoop Jen delighted for you.

Kathryn
What clinic are you goin to now?

Fingers crossed Katie

Jillyhen xx


----------



## Katie789

Thanks girls, am soo desperate for this to work this time. There really only are so many heartbreaks a girl can take!! 

Jen, like I said on the other thread, im so pleased for you, and it gives us all hope that our little four cells can make it!! 

Katie xx


----------



## Jillyhen

for you Katie and that this is your time for a bfp..


----------



## Katie789

Thanks jilly. Roll on friday  

Katie xx


----------



## Jillyhen

Im sure you cant wait  xx


----------



## Katie789

Morning all,

Just a wee update. Def think af on way. The stuff that comes away from pessary is coming out pink and brown this am. As I bled on sun this is typical of af. Woke up with cramps during the night and while its not sore this morning its def noticeable af feelings. Today might be the first day I dont knicker check as frightened of what ill see  

Katie xx


----------



## babydreams282

Katie im   for you hun


----------



## mollycat

aww katie, i really hope its not your AF, god you have been threw it this week, got me   too it all works!!


----------



## Katie789

Thanks babyd and molly. The wait is nearly over, one way or another. Will still   for a good outcome. Havent come this far to give up two days short of the line (hopefully the starting line, not the finishing line   ) 

Katie xx


----------



## Jillyhen

Aw Katie   

Thats was the stage i tested early


----------

