# First steps?



## Eoz783399 (Mar 5, 2014)

Hello,

I'm a 38 year old single woman, and I've been considering having a baby by myself for a while.  
Whilst I'm deciding what to do, I'd like to take some practical steps that will make a start.
It seems like getting an std test is a first step that I can do for free.  And maybe getting some other tests done with my gp (if they're willing to do it).

I'm also thinking about paying for a fertility test with a private clinic so that I have all the facts, seems like it might be a fairly simple first step, and presumably the results won't change so it'll  still be helpful once I make a decision?

I've no idea if I'm fertile or not, I have a reasonably normal cycle etc.

My plan would be to try artificial insemination, if my fertility is ok.  Part of me would love to ask a male friend, but it seems like it might be complicated - so probably a donor.

Posting on this forum is the first practical step I'm taking, apart from recently losing 3 stone...


----------



## Heidi33 (Apr 2, 2013)

Welcome to FF - it's a great site!

Where to start...

There's a great book called 'What to expect before you're expecting' (cant remember the author) which explains how to prepare before trying to concieve.

I'm due to start IUI soon and I got ally blood tests done on the NHS with my GP. The important ones are day 3 FSH and oestrogen (which give an idea of your ovarian reserve) and day 21 progesterone which shows whether you are ovulating. When you get your day 3 bloods done also request LH, thyroxine, prolactin and progesterone.

Get a full STI screen done including HIV, syphilis, hepatitis B and C.

There are other tests you can do like AMH but they can only be done privately.

The tests I've mentioned are the ones various fertility clinics have requested ( apart from AMH). You can get a fertility screen done privately which will include all of the above (and maybe a bit more) but it will cost you a few hundred pounds.

If you're interested in co-parenting there are a few websites www.coparents.co.uk or www.co-parentmatch.com which I used when I first started trying with a co parent. I found a lovely guy and we tried for 6 months but it didn't work.

Good luck with everything! And congratulations on the weight loss 

/links


----------



## bailey434 (Jan 23, 2014)

Hi
I'm in the same boat as you (single) and have had one round of IVF (unfortunately unsuccessful). 

My experience was that my GP could do some basic blood tests, STI screening, HIV etc, she also did an FSH and ovulation tests. I asked about AMH but was told that it's too expensive for her to be able to do that on the NHS so I had that done at my clinic once I'd had my initial consultation with the consultant. 

I have gone for donor sperm as like you thought that involving a friend could be too complicated and luckily my clinic had a small supply available (cost about £400 which is loads cheaper than some websites abroad) but it depends on the availability in your area really.

For your information, I was told that due to my age (39) that I was be better going straight for IVF as it bypasses some potential issues that you may not know about (blocked tubes etc) and also as I felt like I on'y have a certain amount of time....! My AMH came back as very good and so they had me on a relatively low dose for my first round of treatment but I am now waiting for my second round and they have upped my drugs quite a bit and am having some other meds to try and help with implantation this time around...fingers crossed.

I think you will need a GP referral but mine was really helpful. It might be worth having a look at where you might want treatment (if you are planning to do insemination in a clinic rather than at home) as the GP will ask where you want to be referred to, although they may be able to advise a bit on that in your local area.

Anyway, sorry if I've rambled on! Feel free to ask any questions! 

Good luck and let us know how you get on!


----------



## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

good luck ladies- remember if you GP won't do bloods the local GUM will do infection screening, amy is usually only done via fertility clinics. you dont need a gp referral for all clinics ive been to 9 and always self referred. x


----------



## Amelia81 (Mar 2, 2014)

Hi Eoz,

I was about to start a similar thread myself! I'm planning ahead, 32 at the moment but wondering what I can or should be doing in preparation as I've got 35 as the age in my head I would want to actively start TTC if I'm still single.

Tempted to do fertility tests soonish though so I at least know where I stand.

Keep us posted

Xx


----------



## notamuggle (Jan 15, 2013)

Hi everyone! "Waves"

I would suggest getting fertility tests done sooner rather than later if you can as that may help you decide when start actively going for treatment

Also as already suggested see how much you GP will do for you. I went straight to the clinic and spent loins of money on blood tests with them! I did get free STD investigation from my local GUM clinic though

Good luck and let us know how you get on x


----------



## calleguen (Sep 18, 2013)

Hello everyone

I am a single lady and I have just had a first round of IVF using donor sperm.  Unfornately I tested today and it was negative and I am obviously very upset.

I had two 4 cell embryos transferred on day 2.

bailey434 - I have a follow-up appointment with my clinic next week and I would be especially interested in what medication you are on this time around.  It would be good to go armed with a bit of information.

Thank you for all of your help.

Cx


----------



## bailey434 (Jan 23, 2014)

Hi Calleguen

So, for the first round I was on Buserelin for down regging and then as my AMH was good I was on 225 of Menopur and then the trigger shot 36 hours before EC and progesterone pessaries twice a day following EC. I had 12 follicles but got 6 eggs as some of the follicles didn't want to give up the eggs apparently. 5 fertilised and I had one 8 cell put back in on day 3. Unfortunately the others didn't make it to blastocyst.

This time round she is going to up the menopur to either 300 or 370 depending on how many follicles they can see on my first scan. Then following ET she wants me to take Clexane injections (40mg) to try and help implantation and steroids (prednisolone 20mg). I'm also going to have an endometrial scratch between day 16-21 before I start down regging. Will be having the progesterone  pessaries as before too. I haven't had any immunology testing yet but might if this next cycle doesn't work. She also wants me to consider putting more than one back in next time, which is a bit scary for me as doing this on my own! 

Hope that helps!


----------



## bailey434 (Jan 23, 2014)

Sorry pressed return too early!

She is also making me wait for 2 periods before I start again as she feels that going straight into treatment again after only one period doesn't give the ovaries enough time to recover.

This link was really useful to me on compiling questions to ask at my review meeting some that I'd thought of but others I hadn't.
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=283000.0

Also very sorry about your negative result, it's such a hard process. Be kind to yourself
x


----------



## calleguen (Sep 18, 2013)

Hi Bailey

Thank you so very very much for your comprehensive reply.  Especially to hear about the additional measures you are undertaking this time round to aid implantation.    That is really really helpful.  I've started a word document on my computer and started to add questions as and when I think of things.

I am particularly interested in when you said about the immune system.  It might be unrelated but I came down with a cold shortly before EC and then came down with another nasty cold and got an eye infection about the time that implantation should have been happening.  I am not sure what that means but it may be relevant.

I am feeling a little bit better today - a day in the sunshine helped.

Hope you are having a good weekend.

Cx


----------



## Blondie71 (Oct 26, 2011)

Heidi, hiya just a quick question on the donors on those contact sites, how do you know regarding infections with them eg HIV has a 3 month window for screening etc how do you ensure they are free from infections can never get my head round how all that works lol


----------



## Heidi33 (Apr 2, 2013)

Hi Blondie,

Well I think the whole co-parenting issue is based a lot on trust. I spent a good 6 months getting to know my cp and was happy that he seemed v moralistic and I didn't consider him high risk for having any infections. I made him have a full sti screen and reminded him a few times of the importance of using condoms!

I have another male friend who is interested in being a cp but he is gay and sleeps around A LOT!! I'd be very worried about using him as a cp because I reckon he is pretty high risk for having infections. I worked in sexual health for 5 years so am quite knowledgable about all this stuff!

So in answer to your question - I ask lots of questions and assess their risk!!


----------



## Blondie71 (Oct 26, 2011)

Gosh that must be really tough an awful of trust to place in someone can see why you didn't want to go with your high risk friend tho eekkk x


----------



## Eoz783399 (Mar 5, 2014)

I first posted on this thread 2 years ago when I was 38!  I'm now 40 and am going for my first consultation at a clinic tomorrow.  I went to my GP to ask for a referral in June, the doctor was sympathetic - but then I didn't hear anything.  When i finally rang up to check I found that the doctor I'd spoken to had left the practice and forgotten to do my referral!
Anyway - not sure what to expect tomorrow - I haven't had any tests at all up to now as the GP thought I should wait to go to the clinic - though tbh i don't have much faith she knew what she was talking about.

The initial consultation is costing £120.

Still not totally sure I want to got through with it - but thought I might as well start the process then decide.

My best friend recently got pregnant on her first IVF attempt (her BF had fertility issues) and attended the same clinic so I know a little bit about hat happens - but it was different really - since I have no idea if I have issues or not.

It all feels very strange - I guess for a long time I just thought I'd eventually meet someone so I could have what all my friends have - but it just hasn't happened.  So I feel a little bit sad...


----------



## natclare (May 27, 2011)

Good luck Eoz... you are definitely not alone. Best wishes.


----------

