# Linked! but told not to tell anyone, and ages till Panel!



## Ermey (Aug 17, 2004)

Help!!!!!!!!!!

We have just been linked with a baby boy under 1 years old    !!  We are so delighted and yet so confused!

We were on cloud 9 when we got the yes from the child's SW, but the edge has been dampened a little as our SW made quite a big thing about how we shouldn't tell anyone really; and not to go out and buy anything.  

We are also not allowed to have any photos of him.    We have seen 1 very out of date pic, and a short video clip (7 seconds long!)  but are not allowed to hang onto anything. Is this usual?

Also, Matching Panel isn't till 2nd week of January, which seems like AGES away! I see that several people other people on here that were matched this month have got Panel before Christmas. I don't know how I'll stay sane till January!  By the time he comes home he'll be almost 2 whole months older than he is now.

i feel very peculiar as our SW says she is keen to promote us bonding with him in our heads as of now, and yet she keeps saying how nothing is definite, we're not officially matched, and we are not allowed to keep a picture to get used to his little face and it seems Soooooo long till MP!!

My emotions are all over the place!  

Thanks

Ermey


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## panorama (Feb 7, 2005)

Hi Ermey!

Congrats on the match! I know you from ages ago on the MF board (I used to be Alli   ) and I know you have waited a long time for this so really chuffed for you!   

I guess the SW has to be a little cautious but yes I bet you just want to shout it from the rooftops and start buying!    I know it may seem ages but it really isn't long, just hang in there! Keep yourself busy and before you know it, it will be Xmas and then jan!

I am pretty impatient too and this is such a waiting game but before you know it, he will be home with you, you'll see! 

Love panorama xx


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Hiya

Congratulations on the linking   

No its not unusual   but it does feel odd when your situation is different to others i know. I guess it depends on how busy the departments are between now and then and of course when both sw's can fit matching panel in    . 
We were told of DS in May and didn't get to matching panel until August    due to sw holidays and panel availability. We had an old (and awful) photo of ds from his cpr but when we met his sw's we asked for an updated pic which they showed us but told us we couldn't keep    Between linking and matching we met his fc's and as they were lovely they showed us untolds of photo's and we had more or less daily photo's of him (SW obviously didn't know    )

I guess from SS point of view nothing is official until matching panel but if you have been told it is a link and they are not looking at other couples then why would things change direction now? 

Have you got any meetings booked between now and matching? Medical Advisor, Foster carers etc ??

xxx


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## curvycat (Apr 8, 2008)

Hi firstly congrats!   

This may sound silly but Jan panel is actually very quick! 

We were linked in September and will not meet lo till Jan    we first expressed interest in July so double     a full 6 months older and 6 months missed 

However..............I have learnt just to accept this and go along with it. Fighting get u nowhere fast


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## Ermey (Aug 17, 2004)

Hello all,

Thanks so much for your replies, I feel much more "normal" reading them (well, as normal as I'll ever be    )

Panorama -  Hi Alli, yes I do remember you, its great to hear from you. I've not been very good at posting as I have found the whole adoption wait so tough I kind of went into my shell for a while there. Thanks for your lovely words, yes it seems like ages but I guess Christmas will help?? or send me over the edge!!     Hope you are getting on ok, and coping with the long haul.

Wynster - thanks so much, you have made me and DH feel so much better and breathe a sigh of relief. Its so hard when you see a picture for about a minute and then it gets taken away again, I keep replaying it in my head.  Yes we have a meeting with the fc's on Dec 8th, without little 'un there. Fingers crossed that they are as great as your fc's and we see lots of pics. If not I guess just the chance to talk at length aout him and his likes and dislikes etc will help make him seem more real. Thanks again   

Curvycat - OMG Dh and I are in shock that you have had such a long wait between linking and matching panel!! How on earth have you stayed sane?  Full respect to you and wishing you all the very best for a succesful match, I hope the time whizzes by now, you deserve it!  I guess it just shows that there is no "normal" in this crazy process. 

Thanks again everyone

E xx


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## peacelily (Feb 24, 2006)

Fantastic news Ermey!  Ours was a similar situation, DS was under 1 and it was 2 months from hearing about him, to him moving in   .  We had a few photos on his flyer, and then when we met FC she brought an album of him from birth (which she took away again, and was then given to us to keep on Panel day). Unfortunately, Christmas and New Year always seem to slow SS depts down beyond belief...and they would never place a child immediately before Christmas anyway - too many emotions flying around at this time of year.

Start writing lists of things you want to buy, and sourcing things - then you can buy in the January sales!!  Maybe ask for vouchers from family for Christmas.

Peacelily xx

PS. Feel free to PM if you have any more questions about our experience


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