# In need of hope and reassurance



## Waytacha (Jul 7, 2014)

Hello all,

After many years of TTC u successfully I am now waiting to start a DE cycle. I have a lovely 5 year old natural son who I had no problems conceiving. But since him I had a pregnancy that had to be terminated due to abnormalities, long time not conceiving after, an Ivf cycle that ended in a missed miscarriage and an Ivf cycle with pgd that terminated with no viable embies. 

I've made my peace with that and am happy with my decision to tray DE. It's just that now that I'm sure I will soon be found a donor I am full of worry that not even with this change things will go well for us. 

So now I'm reaching out to you guys in the hope you can help me get into the right frame of mind. As the last thing I want is for stress to thwart me!

Thank you!!


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## bundles (Jul 16, 2011)

Hi Honey  

Sorry to hear of all your worries. I'm a great believer that stress can adversely affect your cycle. The best thing you can do is try a meditation cd, it doesn't even have to be an IVF one although they are available. I used Paul McKenna's 'I can make you calm' & used to listen to it last thing at night in bed. It often used to send me off to sleep & I found it really helped. My other top tip is to drink at least 2 litres of water every day during your 2ww !!
Good luck  

Bundles x


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## marty123 (Dec 26, 2015)

Hi, dear! I'm so sorry for you're in the crowd. Sorry for your previous failures - I know this is tremendously tough. But I'm happy you're already blessed to have your sweet boy.   May God take care of you both. I absolutely feel you've made the right decision to go on with DE. If this is the real chance for you why not to try?! I was in your shoes once at the beginning of our fertility journey. That was the time I couldn't get used to the thought the baby won't be biologically related to me.   But then I just realized that this was the way out for us to keep even only one side biological relation. Now the DE route has taken us to Ukrainian clinic. Where we applied for 5 shots de ivf program. This is our round#2, the 1st failed one gave some precious outcome for the doc to study. So probably this time we expect they do additional things to better the situation and boost our odds.   You're absolutely right with your thoughts. Also that you don't want to spend more time in vain and follow the expert's advice. I'll be praying for you. For everything go quickly and successfully for you   Take care, honey.


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## PinkPeacock (Nov 9, 2006)

Hi, 

I totally understand what you mean. I think when you've had so many knock backs it can be really hard to believe that a positive outcome is out there for us. I just 'feel' that my body isn't the same as anyone else's when it comes to pregnancy, and it won't do what it's meant to. 

I second the idea of meditation or hypnotherapy. It really helps me. There's a couple of apps that are quite good. I listen in bed as I drop off. I also see a hypnotherapist who is amazing. It's £40 for a session but she's able to get me into a calm, positive head space. 

I keep a diary and when I am feeling really negative, I write a list of all the this that we are doing differently, such as using donor eggs instead of my scrambled eggs, investigating immunes, different clinic and so on. Then I tell myself that by doing all these things differently, we are increasing the chances. or I do it the other way and write a list of the reasons it hasn't worked so far - whilst that sounds negative it helps me see that there's no magic or voodoo. There are genuine physical reasons why it hasn't worked so far, and by eliminating these things, it may well work next time. 

Finally, and this might not work for other people, but I read up and learn everything I can about any issues I'm having, such as immunes. That way I feel in control, and when we speak with the doctors, I feel that I am able to understand and weigh up what they're saying. I have serious trust issues with doctors, and have been lied to and dismissed by them so many times, that I find it incredibly difficult to say "over to you". By making myself as knowledgable as possible, I feel like I can have a more informed conversation with them. As I said, this doesn't work for everyone, as some people find reading up on things makes them dwell on it too much. If you do go down this route, try to find peer reviewed articles, websites with .ac.uk which indicates it's an academic site, or on proper organisation's website. Be wary of forums, even this one, unless you can find info that backs up what is being said as we all have our own opinions! Ahem. Lol. 

I really hope this is your time. It's so hard got through this but we will get there. 
Xxx


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