# How important is distance to IP's?



## katiegggg (Mar 29, 2007)

Is the distance a potential surro lives from their IP's a big factor? Do IP's set a certain radius that they will only consider?

I can understand that distance can play a big factor for insems purposes with straight surrogacy but I am leaning towards host as I am of a more mature age at 38 and probably getting 'past it' for straight due to the higher risks of downs etc.

My reason for asking is I live in the depths of Cornwall and wonder whether this would have a negative effect with finding IP's?

Obviously with host I appreciate there is the travelling to clinic appts etc  but as I am self employed this isn't a great problem for me and I'm very much of view that theres no point in doing anything in life if I am not prepared to make an effort to acheive it.

Katie


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## crownmum (Jul 18, 2004)

Hi Katie

I personally prefer IPs that live within a 2 hour drive. Distance can be a factor. Some IPs will travel any distance, it is up to the individuals involved.

Good luck with whatever surrogacy you decide to do, host or straight.

However, you may not be 'past it' for straight surrogacy. I was 38 when I embarked on straight surrogacy the first time. I did wonder if my age would be a factor, but both my IPs were okay with this. There are 2 surrogates I know of who are over 40 doing straight surrogacy.

Below is a link to a table on the risk factors of Down's Syndrome due to maternal age.

http://www.ds-health.com/risk.htm

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## Behappy (Sep 26, 2006)

Hi Katie,
What a dilemma this question raises for I.P'S
Paul and I have talked at length about the distance we would be prepared to traveland to be quite honest it is a real dilemma for us. We are hoping for straight surrogacy.
Being purely practical our travelling distance would ideally be no more than 2 hours. This is being realistic as my D.H. is a postman and gets up at 4.20 am 6 days a week, I work part time. We have to think about the stress involved with insems and the affect that the travelling and added stress would have on sperm quality etc. However if that "special" person you click with is more of a distance away do we then adjust the goalposts based on the crucial fact that we have "clicked" with someone who would be willing to help us? I suppose for us the answer would be could the surrogate in question be somewhat flexible based on her and her families commitments and lifestyle. For example could they meet at a halfway place to do insems would everyone involved be happy to do this? We have spoken to many people now who have experience of local and distant arrangements and certainly distance can be a problem but wiith the friendship being of such importance possibly there are ways of overcoming this difficulty. I see no reason why insems couldn't be done at a halfway place and then when social times were to be arranged they could be at weekends etc when time was more free. If the surrogate had a regular cycle then planning insems in this way could be an option. 
Good luck with your journey
P.S. gorgeous dog! we have just rescued a nearly 4 year old Beagle


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## nostalgicsam (Jul 1, 2005)

Hi Katie,
Distance is something that both surro's and IP's consider, probably when they first begin to look into surrogacy, my own prsonal opinion is that for straight surrogacy it may be more of an issue than host surrogacy, but even with host there are clinic visits and the IP's will want to share as much of the preganancy with their surrogate as possible, for some distance may be no issue, but for others it may play a major factor, we are all different. At the the end of the day however you may find that you connect with a couple and them with you and if this is the case then I'm sure things can always be worked out. Good luck with your journey, do ask anymore questions you may have.
Sam
x


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## Danuna (Apr 27, 2005)

Hiya Katie

I also live in the depths of Cornwall, and in the end I gave up looking for Intended Parents due to the distance.  If you are able to do most of the travelling, that would help.  My problem was that I worked almost full time, so I did not have a lot of flexibility.

Another issue if you wanted to do host is that I believe that the nearest facility that does IVF is in Plymouth.

Joining an organisation such as Surrogacy UK should help to make the process a lot easier, whatever you decide to do.


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,
Yes I do believe that distance can be a factor. We travelled a 3 hour round trip to our surrogate, and I don't think we could have gone any further. My husband doesn't drive, and three nights in a row is a bit knackering.
Obviously with host it's a bit different and as others have said perhaps you could meet in the middle, we couldn't with our surro as she had no child care.
However there are couples all over the country, and some would probably be happy to travel further than we did.
Joining an organisation such as SUK www.surrogacyuk.org, would be a good way to start looking for a couple.
Good Luck 
EJJB
x 
P.S. It was worth it, and our little girl is now nearly six months old


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## HJW (Mar 19, 2006)

Hi Katie

Distance can be an issue for some people, but I know that there have been some successful surrogacy arrangements where people have been a huge distance apart, so I think it depends on the individual IP's and surrogates as to how far they want to travel. 

Personally my husband & I would probably say a maximum of a 3 1/2 - 4 hour drive, although if the relationship was right who knows......

I would certainly perfer to be closer if possible.

Hayley x


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## billybogtrotter (Mar 26, 2005)

Hi Katie

Have you registered with SUK or COTS yet?  I think that might be your 1st setp, because the next stage once registered (with COTS anyway) would be for you to receive information from prospective couples, you will then be able to see where they are and work out how long the distance would be between you.  I know for my 1st surro arrangment (straight) I asked for couples who live in Lancashire because I did not drive back then and I didn't want to be travelling a long way, we did take it in turns so again this was important.

on my current arrangement I said I was not bothered as i would rather have a broader choice, and now i am 302 miles away!!!!! 3 1/2 hours in the car(Driving very fast) or about the same on train.  i am more bothered about how they are as apposed to distance, and as they are the ones coming to me, they will have to make the sacrifices for time off etc......

It is a hard decision to make, but shop around and don't settle for the 1st couple you come in contact with, you never know you may end up with someone in the far north of Scotland!  but if it is meant to be?

Good luck

xxxxxx

Michelle


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## HelenJ66 (Jan 28, 2007)

Hi Everyone
It's a dilema I think everybody has to consider although for the right IP'S/Surrogate I think most people have made the journal however long!
Our surrogate is about a 1 1/2 to 2 hours away the good thing is my husband works quite close to her so can fit insems around work as to speak he's ont he roads quite a lot so can manage his diary accordingly! so to speak!
Obviously for the right surrogate we would have travelled further although this does add to the stress!
We now have Lucy who has just turned 2 and number 2 on the way - although we're only 5 weeks - only 35 weeks to go! We've already had 2 miscarriages so being extra cautious with this one until we've had our scan I don't think I'll get excited!
Best of Luck everybody!
Love
Helen
xxx


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