# Newbie - test results mean IVF unlikely to work, can't stop crying.



## BellaBel (Apr 7, 2016)

Hello everyone

I'm new to the forum, hoping for some words of wisdom!

We've been ttc for nearly 3 years, we're both 35. My GP referred us to the fertility clinic here in Belfast and we got our test results back last week. They weren't great.

My amh is very low and my husband's results were low across the board too. The consultant had looked at our lifestyle etc and has advised that there's nothing we can really do or change to get the results up. He's put us on the waiting list for IVF but told us not to get our hopes up, its unlikely to be a success.

We get one crack at IVF on the NHS here in Northern Ireland and the waiting list at the minute is about a year.

I'm not doing too well at the minute. My poor husband is being awesome but I feel like I'm falling apart. I need to support him too and I'm doing my best but I'm a mess. 

We've decided (at the minute!) that we'll have this one shot at IVF, try to think positive, and if its not a success we'll leave it there and move on with our lives. Maybe book a big holiday if it doesn't work. 

My two best friends are pregnant. One knows that we'd been trying (as i mentioned it when she asked me to stand up at her wedding) but we've never talked about it and I finally cracked at Christmas and wailed to my other best mate about our struggles ttc. Off the back of that conversation she decided that she and her husband should maybe start trying and they got pregnant first month. I'm happy for them, I am! But I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't jealous, i just wish we could be in the same boat!

I don't know where to go from here, how do you stay positive? I feel really heartbroken and I can't stop having little crying sessions (I'm having a little cry writing this!). We're seeing my pregnant friend and her husband next weekend at an event which was planned last year and I need to be able to keep a hold of myself! If it wasn't prebooked and paid for I think I might've tried to wriggle out of it. But if I cancel it'll look really suspect.

Sorry for the rambling, if anyone has any advice how to stop the tears that would be lovely. I'm not normally a crier and they keep just springing up! I even started crying in the bathroom at work and I wasn't even thinking about the results.

Thanks for reading.


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## Poppy41London (Apr 8, 2015)

Sorry to hear your bad news. However, many women with low AMH manage to get pregnant via IVF - so dependent on your individual circumstances which I don't know, it may not be impossible or as unlikely as you have been told. 

I would go to a fertility nutritionist and get their advice on ways to try and improve your egg quality and overall fertility while you wait for the IVF to come round. There is a great fertility nutritionist here in London called Melanie Brown who a lot of ladies have seen if you can't find anyone near you. She does Skype consults as well. There are a few threads about her on here. I think she or someone like her could also advise on what your husband can do to improve his results. My husbands sperm is now pretty decent as far as results go through a combination of nutrition, special supplements prescribed for him (admittedly quite a lot) and having been advised to see a urologist to explore reasons for his poor results to begin with, who then put him on some medication. Again, he is in London, but the consultant Mr Jonathan Ramsay is amazing and I would highly recommend seeing him if it's a possibility for you - or contacting him to ask if he knows someone he could recommend in N Ireland. People travel from all over to see him though as he is quite a leader in the field and has played a significant part in improving my husbands results. Have a look at the thread on him here as well.

I guess what I am saying though, is if you do want to give the IVF a go, use this year to prepare and do what you can to improve your chances (both of you). This will help you to stay positive too and feel like you are doing everything you can to achieve the results you want. Then no matter what happens, at least you won't have regrets or wonder what if. I would also read too about other women on here with low AMH who have managed to get pregnant successfully with IVF. It does happen. Good luck. X


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## BellaBel (Apr 7, 2016)

Thanks Poppy, I'll contact the clinic and ask for a copy of our results. We were so stunned we didn't think to ask when we were in on Thursday. 
And I'll look up Melanie Brown and Mr. Ramsey. 
I've been attending a reflexologist who specializes in fertility and she had recommended Zita West supplements but I was waiting until we got our results before making any decisions. I'll do some research on that too. 
We just took at face value what we were told at the clinic but you're right, we need to give this year our all, it'd be awful to look back and think we could have done things differently. We need to keep reminding ourselves that we're still in with a chance.
Thanks again for your kind words, all the best x


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## K jade (Aug 11, 2013)

Hi there
Sorry to hear of your difficult time

I think your consultant is being rather negative personally  
If u read these boards you'll soon learn that your journey to get your baby doesn't end with a low sperm count and low amh
Plenty of women have success with low amh, and as for sperm count, with the development of icsi, men can now become biological father's with sperm counts in single figures 
I would familiarise yourself with these boards and arm yourself with knowledge 
Many doctors out there love to give people the last rights, 

I have lowish amh and my darling partner produces no sperm whatsoever 
We're taking the donor (sperm) route and my clinic are positive about our chances of success 
Don't lose hope
Best wishes
K xx


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## TreeHugger (Dec 4, 2012)

Hi Bella

I echo what Poppy has said about using the year to get your bodies into top condition for the IVF. Research various supplements that you can both take that could improve sperm and egg quality. Exercise (but not too much) and keep having fun with your DH, it's very important to talk, listen and support each other.

It is perfectly normal for you to be crying at the news given to you by a rather insensitive GP. You are allowed to grieve for the future you've hoped for. As for the emotional side of treatment, is there anyone close who you can confide in? Maybe ask your GP if you can be referred for counseling. I used an IVF mindfulness app to help me cope during difficult moments.

Dealing with pregnant friends / work colleagues has also been hard for me. The only thing I can suggest is distance yourself, where possible, when you are feeling sensitive and also in the buildup to your treatment. If they are true friends they will still be there when you are ready to meet up again.

Wishing you luck xx


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## Lilly83 (Jan 19, 2012)

Bella I'm so sorry  

When you get your results back let us know as there's such a sliding scale of 'low' with all the results

I remember at the start about 4-5 years ago getting told all my bad news one at a time, low sperm count, very very low egg reserve, blocked tubes, cysts, severe endo, honestly that first year was the worst as its devastating to know something's wrong. Cry all you need to and rant (it helps) 

Practically the best advice I can give you now is get copies of all your results as they are really useful, keep yourself busy and start getting all the jobs done round the house you need to, sort the loft, repaint the house etc (hopefully there will be a baby not to far round the corner and you will be glad it's done) 

My partner saw a great improvement in his sperm with a supplement called Menevit so it's worth checking it out 

Anything you need just shout 

L xx


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## BellaBel (Apr 7, 2016)

Thanks so much for your kind words K, Treehugger and L. 

I'm feeling a lot more stable today and your replies have really helped with that! Although I wish it wasn't the case for any of us it is a comfort to hear from folks in the same boat.

Our consultant had said counselling is available and we were thinking of waiting until after our treatment but maybe before would be better. 

At the minute my poor husband is taking the brunt of me being rubbish but luckily he has a friend to talk to who I think may be putting us in touch with a lady he knows who's been through IVF. I wouldn't trust myself to talk to anyone just at the moment though as I'd probably just be a mess. Maybe when I can hold it together a bit better. 

So I think the plan for this week is to pick ourselves up and get our positive hats on. 

Thanks so much! Wishing you all a good week!


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## springy8 (Apr 6, 2016)

What were your test results OP?  Sometimes GPs arent the best around fertility issues.


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## Kieke (Apr 8, 2015)

Hi BellaBel!
I'm sorry to hear your test results aren't the best but please don't be disheartened and never give up!
I echo what the other ladies say, use this year to get prepared; there is so much you can do by changing your diet and adding supplements - this goes for both you and your DH. We were told our changes were very slim and our consultant at our clinic even said diet and supplements do not work.... Do your own research, you will soon find out not all is lost.
There is a great book: 'It Starts with the Egg' written by Rebecca Fett. I can highly recommend you read this.
You will feel positive again, I promise you! 
Good luck on your journey xx


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## BellaBel (Apr 7, 2016)

Thanks Springy and Kieke

We saw the results on Thursday but forgot to ask for a copy, hopefully get them sent out soon. I'll pop them on once they come through.

Thanks for the book recommendation Kieke, I will have a look for that. I've a few books from the library at the minute so its definitely research time! Feeling a lot better now, I think the initial shock is maybe starting to wear off. We're meeting our newly pregnant friends at the weekend so I'm trying to mentally prepare for that. I'd feel awful if I get upset in front of them, happy tears only! 

All the best both of you! This is my first time on any forum, everyone here is so nice!


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## springy8 (Apr 6, 2016)

I got similar news just six weeks ago and it floored me. I was very up and down the whole time. It will take some time to come to terms with it. Definitely find out as much as you can as soon as you can and see if there are any other issues. Once you have a plan you will feel better.


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## BellaBel (Apr 7, 2016)

Aww Springy, I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you're starting to feel a bit better? Have you been given options? Our consultant said we should consider a donor but for better or worse we've decided to try with our own so he has put us down for icsi ivf. We're starting to plan now, improve diet and looking into which supplements to add. 
It's tough to hear, isn't it.


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## springy8 (Apr 6, 2016)

Yep, its really tough.  And I was so relaxed about everything.  We werent even really trying.  I just noticed my cycles getting weird and decided to get checked out.  And BAM.


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## MrsScooby (Jun 7, 2011)

I thought I'd share my experience over 13 years of treatments, 7 failed cycles and in Feb 15 my husband and I decided to visit a natural fertility centre and look at alternative treatments before we even considered another treatment cycle.
Our consultants as the years passed tried to persuade us to move to donor eggs as the age factor became an issue with egg quality, although my amh was good.  We also had male factor aswell.

After a year of consulting a fertility nutritionist, clean diet, no alcohol (one bottle on special occasion around 3 in a year) food state supplements, antioxidants, acupuncture, fertility massage, we managed to rectify male factor completely with dna fragmentation within normal range and I'm now 15 weeks pregnant with my own eggs at age 42.
The consultants we've had have all been great but very medical orientated, we made decision ourselves to try other therapies before another cycle and this time it's worked.

I genuinely believe lifestyle change has been the key to our success, it was not a cheap option but cheaper than another failed cycle.

Good luck in your journey.


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## Vulcania (Apr 12, 2016)

BellaBel said:


> Hello everyone
> 
> I'm new to the forum, hoping for some words of wisdom!
> 
> ...


Hi girl

i think it's way toooooo early to get disappointed. AMH doesn't say anything (there are doctors that do not even prescribe this examination as they do not trust it) and sperm could be boosted with vitamin treatment. I am telling you this because my AMH was low and our sperm was a disaster so trust me I have been where you are. in my first and second IVF i was producing maximum 4 eggs which even though were fertilized they never gave pregnancy. the dr said that i should consider donor eggs. deep inside i knew he was wrong. we started taking specific vitamins which for us worked miracles. i changed clinic and the new doctor prescribed half of the hormones i was taking in my first IVFS. result? 15 eggs, 11 fertilized. of course after that i was diagnosed with both hydrosalpinx which i had to remove but that's a different story. what i am trying to say is that you should never stick to only one doctor's opinion and definitely not get disappointed. crying is not bad as long as you source the strength to continue. we all have out crying sessions every once in a while.

our journey could be long but i think it worth the ride.


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## BellaBel (Apr 7, 2016)

Hi MrsScooby and Vulcania,

Thank you both for sharing your experiences and massive congrats MrsScooby! 

You've both been through so much and here's me collapsing at the first big setback. We've decided this is our opportunity to make changes to our lifestyle, work at on upping quality and getting some serious nutrition. I've an appointment with my reflexologist tomorrow so will be having a good talk about vitamins/supplements and the plan going forward. She does fertility acupuncture as well so I'm going to see if we can maybe build that in too. Going to give it everything and get in the best possible shape that we can. 

I've working through some books already on infertility from the library and have ordered Rebecca Fetts book also. Can't believe we hadn't started our research, think we just had our heads well and truly in the sand, not sure what I thought the consultant was going to tell us!

All the best to both of you on your journeys! Bella x


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## springy8 (Apr 6, 2016)

Did you find out what your AMH level was?


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## BellaBel (Apr 7, 2016)

Hi Springy
Not yet unfortunately. I called the clinic and we have to send in a request by post with a cheque to get a copy of the results. They seemed a bit surprised that we would want them! We do have a chequebook somewhere in the house (doing some renovation work at the moment) so tomorrow morning will be spent going through the other boxes I think it might be in.


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## springy8 (Apr 6, 2016)

That's weird. You are totally entitled to a copy of results  and shouldn't have to pay more for them. I'd be looking for another clinic. Knowing your numbers definitely helps in your research etc.


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## Hopefulshell (Mar 14, 2013)

Hi

I definitely believe lifestyle changes can help improve your chances of success. Me and DH followed a very strict diet for six months after seeing a fertility nutritionist who wrote out a diet plan based on our individual issues. Following this diet we produced the best quality embryos so, along with a new drugs protocol, I think the changes we made did contribute towards getting top quality blasts. 

I went to pieces emotionally after our fourth failed attempt and did hypnotherapy for six months which made a huge difference to my emotional wellbeing (would highly recommend!) 

After I discovered I had immune issues I also followed a v strict anti inflammatory diet to help things naturally and complement the drugs. 

In my experience Drs are very anti supplements and alternative therapies. However lots of ladies on here have seen improvements by adopting their own diets and lifestyle changes. I've also discovered that when it comes to fertility tx not all Drs are equal or even necessarily agree on a diagnosis. I got a second opinion after failing 4 times and lo and behold found out the root cause of my failures. My own clinic don't even offer the tests ...

You certainly sound much more positive which is lovely to read. I've had more meltdowns than hot dinners! You wouldn't be human if it didn't hurt to see pregnant friends so you cry as much as you need. Far better than bottling things up  

All the best going forwards X


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## Lilly83 (Jan 19, 2012)

We had to pay for a copy of all our records, you have to submit a form if it's NHS usually and they pull them from your medical records, it was £15 for 3 years worth including bloods, surgery and IVF records x


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## BellaBel (Apr 7, 2016)

Hi Springy and Lilly,
We're on the nhs route so it's £10 for the results, which is grand. I've located the chequebook so our request is off to the post, hopefully get them back quite quickly!

Thanks Hopefulshell for your kind words and sharing your journey. Feels like we have the beginnings of a plan. My reflexologist is lovely and she's getting me prices for the supplements she recommends, she's keeping me on for monthly sessions and for acupuncture closer to treatment.

House has been cleaned, been dancing about to music and am feeling positive. Off to see our pregnant friends shortly so trying to keep the upbeat feelings going (have rescue remedy in bag and we have our diversionary tactics and escape route planned if necessary). 

Hope you have a lovely weekend everyone! Bella x


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## springy8 (Apr 6, 2016)

Ah ok. I am not in NHS land so I didnt know youd have to pay for results.


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## BellaBel (Apr 7, 2016)

Hello
A little update as we got our results in the post today. So turns out my amh was 1.5 pmol/l and my lovely husband's results were low across the board. All being well our new vitamins and more lifestyle changes will help.
Wishing everyone well!


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## springy8 (Apr 6, 2016)

Well at least you know and can work on moving forwards with a plan now. Best of luck with it!


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## BellaBel (Apr 7, 2016)

Thanks Springy, best of luck to you too!


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