# secondary infertility 6 years on



## kels1974 (Mar 14, 2012)

hi im kelsey im 37 and my husband kev is 34.we conceived our son Tom,who will be 6 next month naturally after ttc for only 4 months.we started to try again when tom was 6 months old and have been trying ever since.tests revealed that i am fine but kev has a very low sperm count,deformed sperm and poor motility.we havent went down the route of iui which was suggested would be best for our situation,as we dont want any medica linterference.it is so hard every month when my period shows.we are thinking about possibly looking into adopotion as Tom is almost 6 and he is lonely,if we do concieve the gap is just getting bigger .Does anyone know nayone who has adopted a second child after having a child born to them.thanks.


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## claire82 (Mar 2, 2012)

no sorry i don't i had my son 6yrs ago we started tryng when he was 1yr and we're still trying we're trying to save to at least get some tests done we have had a sperm test which said it was slightly low but they wont help us more than that my son keeps asking why he hasn't got a brother or sister i know he will be asking more now my sister had her baby 2 days ago which i have found really hard. my partner wont do fostering or adoption i tried to talk about it with him theres no chance.


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## kandykane (Nov 17, 2008)

hi ladies  
am not in your situation but thought I would pop on and say hi and point you towards the adoption section of the site - someone on there may be able to help/advise
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=19.0

kandy


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## kels1974 (Mar 14, 2012)

thanks kandy.hiya claire we are unsure what to do at the moment but trying naturally is getting us nowhere,and like you we have not been offered any help as we have concieved together naturally before.it so hard though isnt it tom is 6 now and the gap is just getting bigger.


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## Loopylou41 (Apr 26, 2011)

Hi Kels1974 and Claire82

I am in a similar situation.  DD is 6, premature Menopause diagnosed when I was 38, I have now hit the Big 40 and on the waiting list for ED.  Each month that goes by I worry about the age gap and my age and how I will cope with sleep deprevation if we are lucky.  I am sure though everything will be OK should we get lucky.  Have you thought of having IVF?  We went on the list for ED in November, I spent a good 8 months thinking things through and talking to other people in a similar situation on these forums.  I am impatient now for the phone call, have been told it is 4 - 8 months and we are at 4 months so potentially it could be another 4 months - arrgghhhh!!!

I wish you luck with what you decide.  I know how frustrating all of this is and if you had told me I would be on fertility boards in the future a few years ago, I would have said you were as mad as a hatter... 

The best way I coped with everything is by having a plan.  When I knew I couldn't conceive I was devastated and kicking myself for leaving things too late.  If you and your partner sit down and have a plan on how you are going to progress, what you both want and how you will try to achieve that, it puts you back in control again.  My partner won't consider adoption either so this is our only hope.

Good luck

Louise
x


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## kels1974 (Mar 14, 2012)

hi louise sorry to hear you had an early menopause,im also concerned i might be pre menopausal now i will be  38 this year and my periods are changing,getting longer gaps between them,also been having some hot flushes.
I dont think ivf is for us its a lot of stress i dont want to put my body through.I also know where you are coming from with the age gap etc,i also worry we are getting old and how would we cope with a newborn,when tom will be 6 next month.

kelsey x


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