# Prospective Adopters Chat Thread



## ♥ M J ♥

Hi Ladies and Gents

Have started a new home as not only is your last home got a tad long i have just realised it was a 2008 thread and you dont have a 2009 home

happy 

xxxx

[info] Hi Ladies and Gents

Please take note of the following info (Posts will be edited by a mod/admin if it is felt needed)
Fertility Friends is a public site and can be accessed by anyone. We would like to remind you that all posts 'must' be discreet when it comes to discussing what is involved in the process, particularly the home study part.
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## ♥ M J ♥

Hi- just so this doesn't get missed this is todays post and the last post on the previous thread



hornauth said:


> hi everyone
> 
> hope you're all well...just on for a quickie so not got time for personals....
> 
> jacks i'd give them a wee call if i were you...did you send an initial enquiry form in? we did and when i hadn't heard anything in a couple of weeks i gave them call saying "just checking you got the form" and they looked into it and said we should've been contacted by now...i got home later that day and the letter was there!
> 
> we had our initial meeting today and it went well...he really just went through the process, filled out a form etc...he was nice though and has adopted himself so it was nice to hear a bit of his story. because we've had tx though he says we'll need to wait 6 months from that finishing so that takes us to july/august he thought. it'll fly by though then we'll go to an info evening then prep courses then hs should start...feel really good about it...so does dh...we both feel v positive....
> 
> anyhooo...i've babbled enough...
> take care
> deb x


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## popsi

MJ.. thank you 

Much      to everyone xxxx


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## jrhh

Thanks MJ.

Debs thats fantastic news I'm not surprised you feel so positive! I'd be babbling too  

Think I will give them a ph. I'll wait till after the B Hol then its May so hopefully I won't look to impatient    

Hi to everyone else hope you are all OK.

Love

Jacks x


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## popsi

Jacks.. i would ring, i found when i did they were more than happy to hear from me


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## curvycat

I must admit that for me the hardest part is the constant waiting for something to happen.

Jacks the phone call will do nothing but remind them how much you care and can definately not hurt. 

I always set on my phone a date that I expect to hear something by and if I dont I call. 

My next date is end of May and believe me if I havent heard about the prep course by then I will definately be on the phone! 

This gives me some comfort that I wont over do it but that I have some control.... or at least a guide to being a pain!


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## L456

Hi there,

I hope you don't mind me posting, I have been very much a lurker on this section of the site rather than a poster but thought i would take the plunge and say hi and introduce myself 

My DH and I are on the road of adoption and currently waiting for our second appointment with our agency.  My DH is in the armed forces and is away on deployment so we have had to wait until he is home.  We have been lucky enough to have our provisional dates through (July) for our prep courses as they have tried to fix them round DH ships programme.  But we are trying so hard not get too excited about it all, we have been told he needs to be shore based before - if we are lucky enough to be approved before we can be matched with a little one and that wont be until 2010/2011.  We knew that the process would be long and hard and frustrating but it just seems to be made worse because of his job, which he can do nothing about.  

However we are determined to remain positive and you just never know what will happen  

I hope that everyone is having a good week.

Take care
xx


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## Moppit

Debs - Really glad to hear your initial interview went well, sounds like once your 6 months is up things will move quickly so you have every reason to be positive. Enjoy celebrating that you have started the adoption process.

L456- Welcome to the board and congratulations on your first post, really glad that you are here its a fantastic place to get infomration, meet people and best of all get loads of support. It must make things extra diffiuclt with your husband's job which seems unfair but good news that you have a date for Prep Groups thats a big step.

Jacks - I would definately call them, it won't do any harm and as the other ladies say will show that you are determined and committed. At least then you'll know more. Good luck.

As for us well just over a week till Prep Groups and getting very excited if a little daunted that we're about to take the next step. Really excited about meeting the other couples on the course but feel nervous too.

Moppit x


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## ♥ M J ♥

Hi Laides

L456-not sure if your aware however there is support for those adoption who are in the forces- Soldiers Sailors Airmen & Families Association (SSAFA)- Forces Help if you "net search" them as they cover the whole of england

Hope these might be some help

M J
xxx

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## sonia7

Hi everyone

Can I just ask I noticed those of you who have recently had an IVF Treatment and want to go down the adoption route have been told to wait 6 months. Is this the same for all authority places and what are there reasoning behind the 6 month wait. As getting slightly worried now as I only had a recent IVF and we have made our decision to adopt and it will be the same decision in 6 months time as it is now. I will just feel that iit is another 6 months added to the already long wait. And this was a decision made last year (fostering/adoption) if this IVF treatment had not worked.

Hope everyone is okay

Sonia xx


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## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Right I have decided I will call them, mmmm maybe tomorrow     thanks ladies for not making me feel neurotic  

Moppit ooooooh how exciting, I'd be nervous too, but I bet everyone else will be aswell so you'll not be on your own  

Hi L456 and welcome. I am pretty new here too and the ladies are lovely and so supportive. Good luck  

Sonia hi hun yes its the same for us. I had IVF in March and its not stopped me applying. They said its good to make a start as these things have a habit of taking a while anyway so its good to get the ball rolling. I figured at least we can get the initial appointment done and then plan the rest around the Sept when the 6 months is up. Its so frustrating but I can understand they have to make sure we have had time to grieve and be 100% committed. How are you feeling?

Hi to everyone else.

Jacks xx


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## mavis

Hi Everyone,

Firstly sorry to Popsi for your Panel appt being postponed aaargh  , I hope you get to hear when the new one is soon.

Great news Hornauth on your intial meeting, glad the Sw was nice and open too.

Good on you JRRH, it is good for SW to hear your voice so they dont forget you.

Sonia, I think some vary, but most will let you start and go to open day/eve and have the intial visit and as JRHH has said the time should pretty much come round by then anyway.  Has SS mentioned anythign about their policy on this yet?

Kirstyn, I so wish your LA would come on - argh.

Good Luck Moppit and CG oh and of course Carol now as well for your preprs : )

Tiger hope you are ok, thinking of you.

L456 welcome : ) - loving your PMA x

Hello and love to everyone else too x


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## popsi

hi ladies.. just a really quick post ...

tiger.. how are you honey xx thinking of you and your family, if i was you i would try NPT as you can go to any LA within 50 miles x

mavis.. thank you honey and thanks for the pm your one special lady xx

Sonia.. i was able to start straight away, no wait necessary we just had to be sure we had left tx behind and were fully focussed on adoption x

much love to everyone else, sorry not been around much lately, been quite poorly, looks like i may have gallstones so back to docs tomorrow then ultrasound, thank god for private insurance xxx

i do read everyday and will get better posting when i feel a little more human xx


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## curvycat

Sonia I am with Birm and there LA makes you wait 6 months after an IVF treatment.

Popsi I hope you feel better soon hunny.

Hope everyone is good today and looking forward to the bank holiday  

I know I am!!! Lego land here we come


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## L456

Morning all  

Thanks for your welcomes!

Sonia - I am with a VA and we were told we had to wait 6 months even though my DH and I didn't even go down the IVF route or get a definitive answer as to why we can not conceive.  However it seemed to all slot into place for us as we had out initial phonecall in novemeber then out interview just after christmas and then my DH went on deployment so by the time we have our next meeting in 3 weeks it will be nearly 6 months.  However when i spoke with my LA i was told they would not even speak with me until after a year had gone by!

Thanks MJ - I took your advise and my DH emailed NPFS from the ship and spoke with them yesterday!  SAFFA will be intouch with us when our home study gets underway aparently they need to help with the assesment of my husband. ALso we have been told that they might be able to help with getting my husbands current draft reduced if there is a chance of a potential match.  so here's   that they will.

I know we are running away with it all at the moment and thinking way to far ahead - we need to be approved yet - but i have to think we will be approved otherwise i will go mad  

I hope all your weeks are progressing nicely and that you are all looking forward to the nice long weekend 
xxx


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## ♥ M J ♥

Morning ladies

L456- My husband is ex-Navy so when i saw SSAFA it stuck in my head as i know how hard it is to do alot of things while in the MOD. Good luck

Sonia- I can totally understand you feeling about the 6month wait- we didnt have to wait 6months however when we contacted our LA it had been 6months (they never asked) however being the "other side" now i can understand why they ask you to wait- you need to grive not only for the loss of your babies however for the things that being preg brings ect- dont feel like you have to spend the time sitting doing nothing- i went and read lots of books to help give me insight into things. 

Hi to everyone else

xxxxx


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## Moppit

Just a quick post from me as busy at work at the moment. Sonia I just wanted to post about the 6 month thing and say that although I am not advocating it many of us on here stretched the truth a little bit when discussing how long it had been since the last try at tx. I was the same as you and was very sure about adoption after so many failed tx and did not want to wait anylonger before starting the process. As it turns out with a week to go until our Prep Groups it is now more than 6 months since we stopped but I have to say I'm glad I stretched the truth at the beginning and have been able to get further along without waiting. As I say I'm in no way advocating lying but at the same time the adoption process is so long that you have time to grieve while you are waiting for each stage.

Apologies if this is a bit contraversial but I know I'm not the only one to have stretched the truth a bit in this area.

Moppit x


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## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Mmmmm food for thought on the 6 month topic.

Just wanted to say thanks so much for the push ladies, we now how our first appointment on the 27th May. I know its such early days but I am excited   

Love to all.

Jacks x


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## mavis

Jrhh,

Brilliant news, the ball is rolling ; )

Good Luck wiht your appt.

Exciting.

mavis x


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## lou73

Hi all, hope you are all well and looking forward to the long weekend if you're lucky enough not to be in work.

Firstly I read today that the summer is going to be a scorcher!! Hope it will start on Saturday!!

L456 - welcome aboard! Hope your journey flies by. My mum works for SSAFA and has dealt with some adoption stuff in the past. They are brilliant (I know I'm probably biased!!) 

Sonia - I know our LA like you to wait 6 months after tx so that you have time to come to terms with things. We couldn't have any tx though, so we just went straight to adoption. 

I sometimes feel like we have been through nothing to get to where we are today when I read how much heartache all you lovely ladies out there have been through. I think you're amazing and so strong to keep on going in your dreams of having a family x 

We had our Health and Safety check last week - all OK. We got our lock for the chest freezer (Mothercare stock them if you need to know where to get hold of them!) We were told to have one fitted ready for final visit in July. Hoping to go to panel in August!! Hurrah!

On the down side, my Headteacher has stepped up the nastiness! Along with making things up that another school wanted me to work there so I could go in the Summer and start in September somewhere else (yes, honestly!!) she has also told me that there is no way we will get a baby for at least 2 years! She is trying to get rid of me cos she is a witch! She's making up all sorts of lies about me and my dh and bad mouthing me to everyone. I'm very shy and feel very intimidated by her but try to pretend I'm not bothered by her bullying. I keep wanting to just hand my notice in but know that is what she wants! She is really horrid about the adoption.  

Anyway, sorry for that moan!!
Lou x


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## L456

Hey

Lou - Lot of   for you.  Your head sound dreadful!!!  It still amazes me that people can be so b*tchy.  Life is too short with too many heartaches in as it is to go round and add more.  It must be so hard for her to be so bitter all the time - what is the saying........ it takes more muscles and effort to frown than to smile - it also causes more wrinkles.  So there is one good side i suppose - she will look older a lot quicker!

Just had a phone call from my DH so that has made my evening 

Take Care
Laura
x


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## Chocolate Button

Hi everyone I have finally got a new laptop and managed to get £250 compensation from pc world 
I am sorry it will take me a while to get up to speed with all that has happened and all that is going on!
We are desperate to start. When SW can in March and saide we had to wait 6 months from last tx and that took us up to May we never thought it would move this fast!!! MAy 1st tomorrow. I hope that they call us in the next week or so as I am desperate to get going with the Homestudy. 
I have a wee bit of a problem as I have mentioned my last tx was 6 months ago, but each month my AF is a complete nightmare. A few days before it shows I have terriable stomach pains and then when it does show its so heavy and the pains are worse. I was in tears tonight and took painkillers and I don't have AF yet. I was putting off calling GP as I was so worried it would effect my medical, but tonight I called NHS 24 and am waiting on them calling back. Oh I am so worried it will go against me, but I need to get to the bottom of this. Maybe just still sensitive after tx. Anyone got any thoughts?
I will catch up on all the persoanals tomorrow night when I have my new laptop pn my knee and a nice chilled glass of wine in my hand!!


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## Boggy

HI CB, welcome back!

Sorry for gate-crashing the Virgins thread, but just wanted to reassure you - don't worry about your medical, it won't be a problem.  I had the same problem with AF as you, and actually raised it at my medical.  I was prescribed the pill and there was no mention of it on my paperwork.

I was rather paranoid about not going to the doctor before my medicals, but think that seeking medical treatment for yourself shows you would do it for your child!  

Hope you get better soon.  NHS24 are great.  
Bx


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## Carol 36

Hi All

Welcome  back CG glad you got your pc sorted and with a bit compo for your trouble. My af has been a mare even more so since tx, but that maybe cos of Endo. I know what you mean bout not wanting affect medical I know my endo needs sorting but have avoided it til now cos of worried bout affecting things. Now I've had medical I realise now they are more looking for major things, and things that can affect you bringing up a child. You need to look after yourself, just get a check up and find out then if needed it can be sorted, as this stage rather than a later one. Sorry if rambled on.  

Lou my heart goes out to you, is there not a governing body you could report her to? Soz not really up on reporting lines in Education.
You cannot keep going on with this it is just bringing you down at a time when you should be happy and concerntrating on your journey.  

Popsi sorry you are under the weather at the mo,

Sonia I agree with Moppit you have alot of time along the way to greive, hopefully you won't have to wait.  

L456 welcome on board, always good to have another lady around for news.

JRRH glad your journey has kicked off, fantastic news for you.   

Moppit thanks for all the support and advice you offer us all xx

Tiger how are you and Dh doing now?xx

Can't waiting just two weeks to til first prep day, nervous but excited.

Kirstyn really hope you get news very soon. How's all the wedding plans going?

Mavis what would we do without you? you fab lady xxx

Big hello and hugs to all the lovely ladies on this thread you are amazing support network.

Lets hope we are in for a long sunny happy weekend
xx


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## HFI

Hi ladies

I've only just realised there's a new thread    You have been busy!  Sorry I haven't been around for awhile but I'm back now  

Jacks - I'm really pleased your chasing paid off (I would of done the same).  Not long now till the 27th  

Deb - I'm glad your initial meeting went well, do you know when your next session is?

Kirstyn - Keeping everything crossed you hear about your Prep course really soon    Have fun at LegoLand - I love it there  

L456 - Welcome to the adoption thread and good luck with your journey  

Tiger - How are you and DH?  Have been thinking of you both even though I haven't been posting.  Take care of yourselves.

Mavis - Good to hear from you, I hope you are doing ok.

Lou - I can't beleive how mean your headteacher is, does she treat any of the other teachers the same?  Surely you can report her to someone, she shouldn't be allowed to be a Headteacher    Fingers crossed you get to go to panel in Aug  

Moppitt - Good luck with Prep next week, fingers crossed you meet some lovely people  

Popsi - Sorry to hear you've been poorly, I hope you're feeling better soon  

Sonia - My LA did say I had to wait 6 months before applying to adopt but it seems some on here didn't have to wait.  Fingers crossed you don't have to.

CB -WELCOME BACK    Great news you got some compensation.  Sorry to hear you've been having lots of pain.  Like Boggy I used to have really bad AF pains due to my Endo but I too was put on the pill and I haven't had pain since    I think you need to go to the GP, don't worry about your medical you need to get yourself painfree.

Carol - Hi, hope you are ok.

It's nearly the weekend...........yippeeeeeeeeeeee.  Have a good one everyone, fingers crossed the sun shines  

Love H xxx


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## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Sorry just quick run through just wanted to wish everyone a lovely Bank Holiday!!!

Love

Jacks xxxx


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## sonia7

Hi everyone

Hope you are all well. Thankyou for your messages about the 6 month thing. I told my DH and we are going to say if they asked when our last IVF was,  well it was end of January (just not gonna say it worked and I miscarried R.I.P our little ones, otherwise it maybe octoberby the time we begin the process) By the time they look at my medical hopefully I would be on the process of the checks. Don't know, knowing my luck I will open my mouth and say about the miscarraige and then get told to wait 6 months after the miscarry. I have got up two years to move on so to speak.

We are off to Spain early hours in the morning, got to get up at 3am, so in another 11 and a half hours time. For a long weekend, coming back wednesday. We have a holiday home there in Torrevieja, Costa Blanca. About an hour south of Benidorm. So looking forward to that, just not the early morning start.  

Anyway happy bank holiday

Sonia xx


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## Cotswold Girl

Deb - good to hear that your initial visit went well. July/August will be here before you know it. When we were told to wait 6 months it seemed like ages but it passed relatively quickly and I felt a lot stronger for the wait so can now see why SS recommend waiting. 

Kirsytn - great idea setting a reminder on your phone of when to ring   I hope you get some news soon.  

L456 - welcome and good luck   Although 2010 sounds like a long way off each month that passes takes you a step closer to being a family   

Moppit - not long til your prep course now   Know what you mean about it seeming daunting and exciting! I'm with you on that and just a week behind you 

Carol - when does your course start? My first days 14 May. Got a couple of books to read before then  

Lou - great news on possibly going to panel in August. Hold that thought and the fact you'll soon be on your summer break and won't have to see that old bag of a head for a few weeks! It must be so difficult putting up with her bullying but don't do anything rash or let her win. 

Popsi - so sorry that your panel date was delayed and that you've been ill   Gallstones are horrible - my sister in law had problems with them last year and waited months to get the pain sorted on the NHS so very pleased to hear that you've got private insurance. She felt so much better once they were out!  

Sonia - we had to wait 6 months and although I thought it unfair at the time I feel better for the wait. Your approach in saying your last tx was Jan sounds a reasonable one   You're not lying just not giving all the information you might have! Enjoy Spain  

Jacks - well done on calling SS. Now you have a date you can look forward to! You're on your way now  

Chocolate Button - good news on your compo and your laptop! We've missed you   Sorry your AF has been awful. Mine were pretty bad too in the months following tx. Only recently calmed down and got back to normal. Like others on here I found it aggravated my endo. I've been having acupuncture which seems to help. Don't be scared to go to your GP. You shouldn't have to put up with that sort of pain and there are things that can help - with pain or heaviness.  

HFI - welcome back! 

Mavis - hope you're ok hun.

Have a great weekend everyone, CG xxxxx


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## L456

Hey all,

Just wanted to pop in and say   and to wish you all a fab bank holiday weekend  

Had a phone call from my DH again last night to say that they are coming in the afternoon before they were - which is great news as now we can get ready for our meeting at the adoption agency at out leisure rather than me rushing down to the dockyard in the morning to pick DH up and then off to the meeting.  

Also I had a long chat with my sister in law last night and among other things she actively asked questions and offered to help in anyway with any prep we might need to do or with references etc....  This is a huge step and took me by surprise as both our families (apart from my sister who is so excited over it) have taken its time to really talk about things.  My DH brother is expecting their first child any week now so it has been very much about their baby for the last few months.  My DH family did not realise how much it hurt to have to sit through pictures of the various sizes of my brother in laws bump and the pictures of the baby.  

We were told they were pregnant on the day my DH had to do his bit at hospital and then had to look at the first scan photos on the day that we were told we had to be refered to a specialist.  Granted the family at the time did not know what we were up to, but when we did tell them it was very much brushed over and ignored.  But things are looking up with my DH family - i wont go into his brother's reaction as it is not worth it    

I have to now work on my mum who seems to be in denial.

Well for a quick email it has turned into an essay   - I am very talkative i am afraid - my DH will tell you!  Right off to walk my two lovely babies whilst the sun is still shining and before one of them drives me mad with his whining  

Take Care
L
xxxxxxxxxx


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## mavis

Hi All,

CB lovely having you back : )

L456, Great to hear you are sounding on good form, hope you are having a good weekend. Great news about your in laws starting to coem round, even if it is just one the more support the better, it is nice to receive : )

CG & HFI, Thank you - fine, hope you are both well too : )

Sonia, Hope you have a good well deserved break x

Popsi, hope ur feeling a little better or have been resting up a bit 

Love to everyone on this thread,

mavis x


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## mavis

[fly]*GOOD LUCK for your preps Moppit *  [/fly]


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## ♥ M J ♥

Mavis just had to pop in and say i am loving the



xxxx


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## Moppit

Thanks so much for my good luck message Mavis, its lovely and really made me smile. Can't believe its only a few days away now!

In Yorkshire this weekend having a lovely time in the fresh air and sunshine.

Love to all

Moppit x


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## Shoe Queen

Hello everyone

sorry I have been AWOL - just to let you all know I am reading and thinking of you all - promise to catch up tomorrow with personals.

Cath xx


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## Chocolate Button

Thanks Ladies for all your help and advice on AF. I called NHS 24 and spoke to a lovely DR. He took loads of info from me and said he thinks that as i had 4 tx in a year it is likely that the pain etc is caused by fluctuations in hormone levels and that is why AF is painful etc. He also thinks I have muscle strain and when lining is building up it is straining the muscles. It also could be a bit of internal bruising from all the Egg retrievals. 
At least my mind was put at ease, but I have to take double painkillers and monitor it over the next few months. Nothing to worry about thought. Thank you all for your support.

Moppit Good Luck Huni. I hope all goes well for you. xx

Mavis Thanks for your pms they really keep me going. xx

Tiger I was so  sorry to read you and DH sad news. I hope that the pain is easing a little.xxx

Deb We had to wait the 6 months too and after attending prep groups we were told we had to wait until the 6 months had passed. It is 6 months this month. I was really upset at having to wait, but in all honesty I can only say that it had been good for me and DH. We both feel that taking a little time out had been good for us. It has given us time to talk and cry together and to work through all the questions we had. It makes you better prepaired to face the struggles ahead as you have thought about them first. I can honestly say that it passes so much quicker than you can imagine. Hang in their Huni. xxx

Sorry to everyone it will take me a wee while to get back up to speed with everyone and DH is off today and shouting at me to come and watch a film with him. A take away, a film and a cuddle up on the couch what more could I ask for on a wet holiday Monday!
Love to all. xxx


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## popsi

Hi Ladies

Sorry i will get back to personals soon... i have just been feeling a bit poop lately with the pain from possible gallbladder problem, and also on Friday our SW left a message on answer machiene saying she needed to see us, she stressed over and over there are NO problems at all and not to worry under any circumstances, needs to tie up a few lose ends and discuss our panel day... but as you can imagine we have worried and being a bank holiday we cant talk to her till tomorrow, DH has done his best to keep me sane, and makes me listen to her message when i get worried LOL !!! 

just want to say OMG !!! tiger your prep course is in 28 days !!! how mad is that, any advice please ask i will help you all i can, pm me for any info, or if you want a chat let me know xx

much love to everyone else, mavis, cb, cg, HHH, kirstyn and all you special mummys to be xxxxx


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## Rachelbee

Hi Guys, 

Well here I am joing this thread! Most of you won't know me on here I was on here alot last year but after early medicals we were told that I had to lose a considerable amount of weight before continuing with the adoption process! So here I am, 6 stone lighter and back on track! 
Prep courses start in August and I cannot wait!! 
Looking forward to being a part of this thread!!


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## mavis

Hi Rachelbee, you have done so well and are very welcome here.  Exciting times ahead for you : )

Popsi, I am sorry you are still feeling rubbish, I hope you can get somethign sorted soon, look after yourself.  Sorry to hear about your call from SW.  I am glad that she said it was nothing to worry about but as you say it doesnt seem to stop you.  Oh man not long till tomorrow.

CB, Lovely to have you back full time ; ) - I am sorry you have been having a rough time of it pain wise also, my af have always been bad and since the IVf aggrevated and awful still under investigation now! argh  Hope you have enjoyed your cuddle up on the couch (not too many maltesers I hope!), hmmmmm sounds lovely.

Tiger, Hi, Hope you are doing ok in these tough times.

Moppit, You are very welcome, hope they go well for you and you enjoy them, v tiring as I remember but great.

MJ, Thank you glad you are loving the hearts.

Lots of love to everyone else, hope you are all ok.

mavis x


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## Cotswold Girl

Rachelbee, WOW that's what I call willpower! Well done you   SS should be well impressed with what you've done to show your commitment. Keep up the good work  

Popsi - I hope you got hold of your SW and everything still on track for an early panel date   


Chocolate Button - so pleased you called NHS direct and got some information and reassurance on your AF.    Pop those pain killers and if things don't improve go and see your gp.   

Tiger - good to hear from you   

CG xxxx


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## hornauth

HI everyone... 

chocolate button - hope you're well?  i see you're in scotland...did you go through prep groups then go on to wait for the 6 months...they've told us to wait 6 months before info evening & prep groups?  also i see you've been trouble with af and they said it could be down to bruising etc...i was advised to take arnica orally before EC....maybe that'd help you now?  xx

rachelbee - well done you!    

HI everyone...i PROMISE i'll do personals soon...just don't seem to have a minute these days!

take care
deb x


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## Moppit

RachelBee - You are an inspiration, that is an amazing achievement. Massive congratulations you must be very proud of yourself and it reflects just how committed you are to being a Mummy! Welcome to the board.

CB - Sorry you are in pain, it feels horrible. Periods are funny things. I have spent the last 2 years longing to have one (I have premature menopause) but when I get reminded of how horrible they can be perhaps I should be grateful for small mercys!

Tiger - Hope you are are okay and that you and DH are looking after eachother at such a difficult time. Time to focus on the positives, not long till your prep groups!

As for me well can't believe Prep Groups are actually tomorrow. Absolutely terrrified and had a bit of a breakdown last night as went out with some friends, one of whom is pregnant, and I thought the others didnt know about me so was shocked when one of them said how sorry they were for me. Turns out the other girl has been telling people. Its not that I mind people knowing because I'm not ashamed of our infertility or our decision to adopt but I feel like its my story and not something people should be gossiping about. In two minds as to whether to email the girl who told people to ask her to stop. On the other hand not sure its a good idea to rock the boat and in the end everyone will know anyway... what do you think?

Moppit x


----------



## Dee Jay

Hi Moppit

Just wanted to come on and send you a huge hug    It's so hard having to face friends who are pregnant but as soon as you start your prep groups you will be totally inspired and it will feel like the right journey for you. (that's obviously my own personal experience - but I hope that it will be the same for you)
As for your "friend" I would probably have a quiet word with her and explain that you know she has your best interests at heart but you'd prefer it if she didn't share your personal information and chit chat about it in that way. You could of course just be selective with what you tell people. I know that she probably means well but if she hasn't been there than she won't have a clue how it feels for you. 
Anyway enjoy your prep groups tomorrow - I hope you'll love them.
lol
Dxxx


----------



## Moppit

Just wanted to send a quick note to let people know that there is a new series on adoption starting on C4 next Monday. Looks like it will be worth watching as it follows several prospective adopters through their journey to be adoptive parents. I think it focuses mainly on children who are hard to place and older children so may not reflect our experiences exactly but worth a look. Its called 'Find me a Family' and starts on the 11th of May, C4 at 9pm. http://www.channel4.com/programmes/find-me-a-family

Moppit x

/links


----------



## Shoe Queen

Hello girls

Feels like I havent posted in ages - so please bear with me while I try to keep up.....

Moppit - thanks for that information hun, I will definitely be tuning into that programme - I notice only one more day till your course - you must be so excited!

Deb - I know the feeling - seem to be always busy these days!!

Mavis - we are doing ok thank you lovely - how are you - how was your long weekend?

Rachelbee - wowwweee what an amazing amazing achievement you must be so proud of yourself. Go girl!!

Pospsi - you poor thing - how are you feeling? I know I cant believe the course will be here soon.  Sorry hun, I lost the post what was it that you said I should contact instead of LA?

CB - hope Af has eased and you are feeling better in yourself.  Hope you enjoyed the film!!

Carol, L, Kirstyn, Sonia, Jacks, MJ, H,Lou and anyone else Ive forgotten - A huge hello to you all, hope you are all ok.

As for me, feeling strange the last few days - a week until af due so always the same symptoms - very short tempered! extremely sore boobs and just outta sorts - gotta pull myself together though cos PARTY PARTY PARTY on Sat!!!!! (Its my birthday) We also had some nice news waiting for us when I got home from work last night - our cheque had come through for the inheritance (from last May - dh grandmother inheritance) so that was banked today, trying to figure out how to spent it now.....new sofa, new tv, flights to Oz, pay off some of the mortgage, dh wants a new kite surfer, attic conversion to be looked into - see now Ive just spent the money in minutes!!! Wonder if well have enough for some new shoes!!?


----------



## Carol 36

Hi All

Hope you all had good long weekends, Dh and I have just come back from a lovely spa break, it was really good to have some together time just the two of us. Did not do my diet too much good.

Tiger glad you and DH had some positive news re prep courses and inheritance, probably the lift you and DH could do with right now. Belated Birthday greeting hope you partied in style and got some new fab shoes for the occasion.

Moppit hope you course has gone well today, ours started next week, so have nervous and excited feelings about it. Thanks for info about program, I am certain we will all be glued to that next week.

Popsi and CB hope you are both feeling a bit better   

Wow RachelBee you are amazing huge admiration and congratulation, you certainly are one determined woman. I have lost just over my 1st stone, so your story will keep me going. Thanks

Mavis big hello's hon hope you are enjoying the sun.

Kirstyn any news ?? Hope this sunny weather lasts til your big day.

To all you other lovely ladies   . Enjoy the sunny weather, and I look forward to hearing your news.

Love Carolx


----------



## L456

to everyone!

Moppit - -Huge good luck for you tomorrow I hope it all goes ok and if I am to be a little selfish I look forward to hearing about it all to give me an idea as to what to expect in July!

I was wondering if i could run something past you guys if that is ok?

Our VA stated that it would be a good idea if we could get some experience of being with children and read up as much as we can in between our first meeting in December and our next on in 2 weeks time.  Obviously my DH has been only able to read as there is not many children on board his ship    However I have been lucky enough through someone I know to attend a course which deals with how to interact with children, manage their behaviour and help then learn - it is faith based so not all of it is really relevant but I thought it would help.  

I have also been asked whether I would like to attend a positive parenting course.  Not as a deligate but as a 'helper' - this being as their might be people on the course I know through work and I need to draw a line somewhere with people knowing my business (i work for a registered social landlord)  - and I would just listen to what is being said and take any handouts home.  I have said yes and it is on Monday - everything has now been arranged.

But the problem now is that i am getting worried that this is not the kind of thing they meant at the VA.  I am due to help out at the local sunday school after DH has left again for his second part of his deployment so I suppose that should be ok. Do you think I am getting invloved with the wrong things? or do you think it will be seen (as i first saw it) as me being keen to do what it takes to help the process. I am aware that what I get told on these course may not be suitbale or relevant to the children we might be matched with but I thought that the VA would be able to see that I was aware of it.

Someone happend to make a passing comment about it today which has sent me into a bit of a panic  .

I am sorry if this does not make sense I think I am trying to get a bit of a reassuance I am doing the right thing. I just dont want mess our chances up.

Have a good evening
xxx


----------



## popsi

hi ladies

sorry still no personals as head is a bit up my   at moment !! .. had a scan today and showed a large gallstone so getting referral to specialist ASAP to decide what to do .. need to get it sorted NOW!!! lol i am so impatient 

we have our SW coming on Tuesday to go through our form f and tie up lose ends and have been given a new date for panel at the end of june..   it goes ahead this time

tiger.. i suggested you go though npt rather than swan as would be quicker and you can go anywhere within 50 miles of where you live

EVERYONE else, I promise i will be a better FF soon and do more personals xxxxx


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Popsi - big    coming your way! No wonder you've been feeling rough. At least now you know why and once you've seen the specialist you'll know how they are going to sort it out for you. Once they remove it you'll feel so much better.

Moppit - good luck for tomorrow - will be thinking of you. I hope you're in with a lovely group of people.   

CG xxx


----------



## popsi

Cotswold girl... thanks you so much    xx


----------



## mavis

HI Everyone,

L456, I think what you have done so far and what you are going to do is good and will definately go toward what SS are asking, it is good you are doign the Sunday School also as they will defo be wanting the hands on experience.  If I were you I would be very happy with what I had done : ) - well done you.  I too have felt a little uncomfortable at times but we just seem to push ourselves forward and get on with it, and to be honest have found it all beneficial.

As for me experience wise I volunteer at a local childrens nursery, with dh did an early years first aid course and have also joined cubs, as well as helping out with friends babies children and relatives children etc

Popsi, sorry about the gallstone your poor soul, hope they get sorted soon.

Moppit, Hope you have a good day.

Carol, your spa break sounded wonderful - how lovely.

Tiger good to see you back, hope you have a good birthday Saturday : )

Kirstyn, MISS YOU, hope your hear from your LA soon as well.

Love to everyone,

mavis x


----------



## Shoe Queen

Mavis - thank you for your birthday wishes - really gonna let my hair down!!!!Good for you volunteering at the nursery! 

Popsi - Thanks hun, I think after our course I will definitely ask to go with NPT!! Sorry to hear you are feeling unwell!!

L - I agree with Mavis, I think any experience will count.

Carol - glad you had a nice break! Really looking forward to Sat!!

Catch up soon xx


----------



## L456

Hey there,

Moppit - How did it go today? Was it what you were expecting it to be?

Popsi - hope  you feel better soon.

Mavis & Tiger - thanks for your replies.  You have helped to put my mind at ease  

Hope everyone else has had an ok day - only one more day till the weekend!  

Take Care
xx


----------



## Moppit

Hello Lovely Ladies

Well just back home after the 1st day of the Prep course and utterly exhausted. A good day though, lots of interesting stuff and learnt alot. The 2 social workers running it seem really nice and the other couples are also lovely. Its quite a mixed bag in terms of situation, one couple are already foster carers and are looking to adopt the child they currently foster, one is with an independent agency but doing prep with our LA and one are in the same position as us. There are 4 couples in all which is a nice number and I can see us ending up friends with at least one couple. Day one involved lots of education on the process both for the child and for us, the meaning of adoption, what we have to offer along with several case studies, quizzes, videos and a talk from some adopters who adopted 2 children about 18 months ago. Tomorrow will be more harrowing I think as we are going to talk about abuse etc. For anyone yet to go on a Prep group you have no need to worry. I was terrified and barely slept a wink last night but I very quickly felt at ease with everyone there and they did some good ice breakers to help everyone get to know eachother. You realise very quickly that you are all in the same boat which helps. Only stressful thing is being aware that you are being assessed all the time and therefore holding back a bit if you have strong opinions on things. Will let you know how tomorrow goes.

L456 - It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job of getting childcare experience. This is also something we have been recommended to do and I havent managed to commit to nearly as much as you. I am volunteering at brownies at the moment (Snowy Owl!) and am trying to volunteer to look after as many friend children as possible and thats about it. Diffiuclt to fit in more whilst working full time!

Tiger - Happy Birthday! Not long till your Prep Groups. Is that a new photograph of you? You look stunning!

Mavis - Thanks as always for your support

Popsi - Sorry to hear about hte gall stone but good news that you now know what it is and can get it treated.

Love to everyone else. Better log off now and do my homework!!!

Moppit x


----------



## Shoe Queen

L - no probs, hope you are feelin better about things.

Moppit - fab news on your course and a better insight on things, I know I will be excited but nervous about our course and as you said you are assessed the whole time.  Unfortunately I do have strong opinions on things and unfortunately I tend to speak my mind, I did say to dh I will try to hold back a bit but he assured me I had to be myself.  Wonderful that you will keep in touch with the other couples, I am hoping we will be in the same boat too.

Cath x


----------



## popsi

Moppit... glad your course went well honey, its a lot less scary when your there isnt it !! and you have a lovely small course too which is fab.

Tiger... we keep in touch with one couple and one single lady, the only problem is in our area the courses tend to have around 26 people on them, so its harder to make friends  , but equally enjoyable x

much love to everyone else, i am off not to remove all identifiying features from our ******** accounts, FF info etc .. at advice of SW, photos, links to where we live etc are not advisable by them ... this could take some time lol xxx


----------



## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I have been AWOL, I just seem to have had no time lately.

Cath glad your back   Have a great birthday on Sat, what are your plans? have you got a new outfit? How are your "symptoms"?

Moppit great news on the course, I am so glad it went well. Thanks for the information on it too as it is a bit daunting. Hope tomorrow goes OK, oh it must be so hard to hear some of the tragic lives of such helpless children, it breaks my heart.

L456 I think you are doing great with the voluntary work hun, I am sure its what they will be looking for.

Popsi   ouch to the gall stone.I hope you are not in too much pain and they operate soon. Take care hun.

Carol ooooooo a spa weekend I am green with jealousy, sounds heaven.

RachelBee hi and welcome back. Wow to the weight loss you should be so proud of yourself.

CB glad you got some answers re the pain. Movie and cuddle, how fab. What did you watch?

Mavis, MJ, Debs and anyone I've missed hello!

We did the garden at the weekend (between rain!) and now have 4 raised beds ready for a veg patch. All we need now is the veg   I am quite excited to get growing! 
I have been thinking a lot about the appointment in a few weeks and am getting quite excited and I am only at the first stage  

Love

Jacks x


----------



## Moppit

Just a quick one from me. Think I mentioned that there is a series on adoption on C4 next week 'Find me a Family' starting on Monday at 9pm. Turns out its part of a series of programs on C4 related to adoption and the Care system in the UK which should be interesting. There is a website related to the programs and they are looking for people going through adoption at the moment who are willing to comment in an online forum on their opinions on the TV programs after they have aired. Not sure what it involves but I've signed up and thought some of you might be interested too. You can find out details on the C4 web page - best way to get to it is to google the name of the overall theme of the series 'Britain's forgotten Children' and Channel 4.

Moppit x


----------



## L456

Hey there,

I am sorry for coming on here and moaing but i am feeling rather upset at the moment.  

Just had a phone call from my DH to say that the ship is to be sent somewhere at short notice and that all those on leave have to be back ASAP and that they leave tomorrow. He can't tell me where or when he will be back.  

It could be for a couple of days or could be for longer.  He thinks the communications will go down and that if i have not heard from him via email by Fri next week I had better cancel our meeting with the adoption agency Monday week.  

He was promised by the ship we would be allowed to come home for it - so much for promises.....  I should be used to this by now as this is not the first time this has happened and ruined plans.  However the worst bit is not necessarily missing the meeting as our agency has already organsied our prep course it was just a general meet up and touch base so to speak -  but if they dont come home for that week they will be away until July      

I am at work, but can't concentrate at all (hence this posting).  

Sorry to have put the thread on a downer.......... hope you forgive me 

xx


----------



## ShazJohn

L456,

There is nothing to forgive as we all need to good moan every now and then and your reason, i feel, is justified.  

I hope your DH is back by the end of next week.  Keep smiling and you do have your Prep Group to look forward to.

Would your SW not come round for a chat even if your DH is still deployed.  I know my SW has said that she does not need DH to be here but not sure if it is because we have been approved.

Hope all goes well and we are thinking of you   

SJ XX


----------



## Dee Jay

Hey L456
Sorry to hear that your plans maybe be changed at short notice. As nothing is definate yet is it worth phoning your SW and explaining the situation? Could you ask them if they could re-schedule another appointment and just book it provisionally at the moment until you know more?
I suppose that you will just have to wait and see.........not easy I know, but hopefully it will all turn out ok, and you will be able to keep your appointment. As ShazJohn says if it's just a catch up meeting maybe it could still go ahead without your DH being there.
Sending you a hug hun, and keeping all fingers crossed that it works out ok,

lol
D
xxx


----------



## jrhh

L456 never apologise for a good old moan we all have done and will again, thats what we are here for hun to support each other. It must be so hard for you with dh being away at the best of times but even herder when trying to sort adoption appointments   I agree with D and think you should phone your SW and explain whats happened and see if there is a solution.

Moppit thanks for the info re the adoption programme I 'll take a look on the website.

Have a lovely weekend ladies.

Jacks x


----------



## L456

Hey all,

Thank you so much for all your kind words.  I am a little calmer this morning, i had a surprise phone call this morning from my DH.  I let my hopes up a little thinking it was because he was going to tell be they had been stood down, but that only lasted a milli second  

It all goes quiet from lunch and then it will be a waiting game as to how long they are doing what they are doing.  I am still "officially" none the wiser as to where they are going and what they will be doing, but after speaking so some of my navy wife freinds we have our suspisions.  

Unfortunately we do not have SW yet.  That was part of the what the meeting was going to be about, we were under the impressions we were going to be allocated one and meet them and sort out medicals etc.....  However my DH hs told me to wait until Friday lunchtime and if i still have not heard from him to ring and cancell the appointment.  But like you have all said, they might want to see me anyway without him.

I trying to remain positive and thinking that such things are sent to try us - and if you want to be philosophical you could argue that this is incident is trying to teach me paitence - which i will need in abandance if (when) we get approved and match with a child (ren)  

I hope that you all have a great weekend 

Take Care
xxxx


----------



## Chocolate Button

Hi everyone

Thank you for all your kind messages. AF still never showed, but I am going to take some of your advice and try a few different things. If no better I will go and see GP. 

Moppit I am so glad that you prep courses went well. We really enjoyed ours. We went through a wide range of emotions and dealt with loads of issues, but they were very interesting and we had a lot of fun too. Being with a good group of people helps too. xx

L456   think you need one of these. It must be tough for you Huni. I really hate being in limbo at the best of times never mind over something like this so it must be difficult. Hang it there and moan anytime. xx  I know I do  

Hornauth yes we had an initial visit and we were asked about six month wait, how we felt about not having "own children" etc then we were invited on prep courses. After that we thought they were satisfied that we knew we wanted to adopt and we were ok emotionally. We then were allocated a sw for homestudy, but when she came to visit she brought up the 6 month wait again and then said the team would make a decision. SO here we are waiting to here now the 6 months are up. 

VA still hasn't called. They said we had to wait until May. Well it is May. How long do I wait for them to call or do I call them. Sw said in passing "I suppose if you havent heard by mid May give them a call." It was just a brief comment so now I am impatient and don't know what to so. 

It is some weather we are having up here. Been great if you are all cosy inside, but not if you need to go out!!!!!

Hope you are all having a great weekend. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mavis

Hi Everyone,

L456, sorry to hear your dh ship has been redirected!?  - I hope you get to hear soon.

MJ, Hope ur walk goes well : )

Tiger, Hope you had a good birthday.

CB, I think I would call them Mid May especially as they said to do so, we have had to remind our LA a few times too! with my af I get in such a state I see our GP just for peace of mind as the old head goes into super overdrive if not. i hope it shows up soon and isnt too nasty - grrr. Take care of yourself.

Moppit - will definately be watching the series - oh yes, have you recovered yet? and ready to go again? it is so nice to be getting on with it isnt it.

JRHH, Loving the raised beds, have you decided what you will be growing yet? Not long to go for your appt yet is it?

CG, *GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR PREPS    *

Popsi, Hope ur feeling ok.

Kirstyn, Hope ur timmy has recovered and ur ok. It's damn tough all this waiting.

Carol Hi, *GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR PREPS tooooooooo    *

Hi to everyone else too, hope you are all ok,

love,

mavis x


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

Hope you are all okay.

We have an appointment through to go to the adoption information meeting on the 1st June 2009 at Worcester.

We have had a very busy weekend, we took my friend's 2 children to the cinema on friday to watch Hannah Montana film (a good film) then went to pizza hut and they stayed overnight with us, then yesterday we took them to Waterworld at Stoke on Trent which was really good. Then last night we picked my friend's other 2 children plus their friend up and they all stayed with us last night and we went to the park this morning before taking them all back in 2 cars. They are all girls, one is 11 years old, a 1 year old and three (just turned) 16 year olds. Some arguements between the sisters but all good practice for us.

Anyway hope you all had a good weekend

Sonia xx


----------



## L456

Hey there,


I hope that everyone is ok.  Just thought i would post quickly to say that I spoke with the agency today about the situation with DH (still no news   )  They have said that there is no point in seeing me without him but we can cancell the appointment as late as monday morning and rearrange as soon as we hear more.

Feel a bit mixed about that phone call, not sure what to make of it........ maybe i am trying to read more into it than there is.  Off to my positive parenting course tonight to help out and get some pointers.  I had some books delivered today to, so even if i cant go to the meeting i can still try and be pro-active.

Oh I nearly forgot - A lovely bunch on flowers arrived at work to day from my DH!!!!!  He ordered them before they left and communications went down.  That made my day - also brought a tear to my eye when reading the card.

Hope you all have a good evening,
xx


----------



## Carol 36

Hi All

L456 ahh hon sending you massive   , hope you have some news soon. Bless him regarding the flowers. xx

Popsi hope you are feeling a bit brighter x

Mavis always a fab friend and great support.

Kirstyn hope you get the positive news soon that you deserve  

Moppit thanks for all the heads up on the prep course, v nervous bout mine on wed. 

Tiger hope you had a great birthday and partied in styled

CB defo make that chaser call.

CG good luck with your preps.

Just come back from a fews days at center parcs with the outlaws, it was a good weekend and the oldies enjoyed so a win win situation all round.

Hope all you lovely ladies I have not mentioned had nice weekends too.


Love C xx


----------



## Rachelbee

HI guys,

Just a quickie to say our SW came today, she's great and seemed really positive! We already know that we are starting prep courses in august, today she arranged to come back on 13th june to start the home study, she has emailed the 1st set of forms, saying it's our homewrok and must be completed to hand back on 13th june! She said she will come at weeknds and evenings to fit around our jobs which is great (is this common?) as she really wants to press on with us asap! 
So seems its all systems go woo hooo!
It's my birthday today, what a fabulous day it's been all thanks to this!!


----------



## curvycat

Hi all

Sorry not been on for a while I have been reading all your storys and for all of you who are facing difficultys a big   and for all those that are moving a great big  

I am finding it really tough at the moment waiting to hear when we are on Prep.

It is so hard just to function when all I care about is checking the post and when once again there is nothing to find getting over the disapointment and hoping that it may be different tommorow.

All the adoption programs are making it harder as well when I feel like shouting that there are so many of us wanting to adopt and having to deal with silly waits. 

This would never happen if adoption was privatised! Employ more staff please SS!!

Sorry just needed to rant after wiping away the tears


----------



## hornauth

hi everyone

hope you're all well....just on for a quickie at work 

did any of you watch Find Me A Family last night?  i watched it and thought it was good...it was good to see a bit of the process although the panel looked scary!  neither dh not i are very confident in company we don't know and i just know we'll be nervous wrecks when it comes to that stage!  they looked so under pressure it was unreal but then it came good for them so it'll all have been worth it.

anyway should go
x


----------



## mavis

Hi All,

Sonia, sound slike you had a good weekend, glad you have an appt booked for info meeting.

L456, Wow the flowers sounded wonderful what a lovely surprise, makes me feel tearful.  Hope things clear up for you soon.

Carol, Hi Good Luck for this week  

Rachelbee, Happy Birthday for yesterday, Great news about your HS and Preps it all seems to be happening.

Kirstyn, my buddy   its so cruel at times isnt it, it definately test our strength of character.  Hopefulyl not long now till you can chase them anyway, news is better than no news , it is easier to know isnt it.

Hornauth, Yes we watched it and the dispatches one also before hand about the care system, were very interesting.  I definatley wouldnt have liked to have been followed around with a camera under the circumstances, they all did very well.  Defintale ythought provoking. Now ready for next installment.

Lots of love to you all,

mavis x


----------



## Mx4321

We watched both the dispatches programme and find me a family afterwards.

The approval panel they showed on the TV last night was nothing like ours. After we were asked the questions no one came back at us following our answers they just moved on to the next question. 

It was edited on TV to come across as somewhat confrontational in the questioning which makes good TV I suppose.

In my opinion that unless you do something completely out of character or outrageous I suspect that Panel is just a rubber stamping excercise. 

If there was signifciant doubts about an applicant been approved SW and second SW reviewer would have picked up on them and deal with them before they put you in front of the panel


----------



## Dee Jay

hi everyone
I too watched the two programmes last night. The Dispatches one was just so sad - I thought that most of the teenagers on the programme had been failed by SS, with over 25 moves in FC - my heart went out to them. The Find Me A Family programme was really good too, I thought that the TV made it look like a really quick process - and those of us on the Approved and Waiting thread unfortunately know differently. 

Mx4321 I would have to disagree with Panel being a rubber stamping excercise, I originally thought that too and asked our SW about it prior to us going to panel and she said "categorically No it's not a definate Yes, there have been people turned down at panel and asked to go away and address various concerns and then re-apply"  

lol
Dxxx


----------



## Mx4321

One of the benefits of the Tv programme is that they certainly got the couple through the process ofprpe goups home study approval maching panel and intros very quickly. From the time frame less than 9 months and they had issues....

might be worth going on TV if it can speed on the matching process as after 6 months post approval patience is down to a fine slither now...


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

I too watched the dispatches programme and the find a family programme last night. OMG the panel looked so miserable and scary. That is one thing I am not looking forward to at all. All you needed now is Alan Sugar on the panel (from the apprentice). That would really scare me.

Well I am back to work tommorrow, the Dr has advised me to go back half days for 2 weeks then go and see her again to see how I am. But then when I got home I received some horrible and disturbng news, the hospital has lost our babies. You know I had a miscarraige and had a D and C 3 weeks ago, well they were supposed to send our babies (like they did with Bethany) for like a post mortem type of thing to find out what caused the miscarraige to a hospital in Birmingham then the babies were to return back to my local hospital to be buried in the memorial garden within the hospital grounds. Well I got a phone call from my local hospital saying they received the report from the birmingham hospital saying there was no sample - Where are my babies ! So now I have to go for another internal scan to see if the D and C had taken my babies away or they might be still inside me, in which case I have to go through another D and C.        I was taken aback with this news and it did upset me but its something I have no control over and just have to sit and wait and hope they find our babies.    

I am so tired right now, got a very bad headache too. Supposed to be doing some of my garden but haven't got the energy today.

Hope you are all okay

Sonia xx


----------



## L456

Hey,

Sonia  -             and loads more.  I will be thinking of you xx


I too watched the find me a family programme and also thought that it was rather quick between being approved and being matched.  Were they with a LA or a VA?

Sorry this is short - hope everyone is ok.........

xxxx

Ps Still no news on DH & the ships homecoming


----------



## Moppit

Hello Lovely Adoption Virgins

Have missed checking the boards while I have been on Prep Groups. Last day was today and just home. Have to admit I really enjoyed ours, was nothing like I expected much more positive and even a little bit fun. Feel completely uplifted and 100% sure we are doing the right thing. They have told us it will be up to 8 weeks until we'll be matched with a SW which is a little frustrating but at least we have a time scale. Our LA do seem to be very professional and organised its just that they are short staffed and can't start Home Studys for a while. We are of course itching to move forward but will just have to be patient. Have also changed my opinion completely about SW's all the ones we met were really nice and I felt confident that we'll get on with who ever we get matched with for the Home Study. 

I see lots of you watched the programmes last night. I did too and it was great to discuss it with the SWs this morning. They thought the portrayal of the panel was very unrealistic and said that its very rarely a grilling like it was portrayed and is much more friendly. I agree that its probably editing for TV. Also although it looked like a really quick match did they actually say on the programme how long it took. The filming was done over the course of a year so I suspect that although it looked quick it may not have been that quick. I thought the 8pm one on the care system was really informative but so distressing. It should make us all feel that we are doing something good for society as we are going to save some children from the fate that some of those people interviewed have experienced. I just wish we could move to a system like the US where children are in care for much shorter periods. We are all desperate to adopt and there are obviously alot of children who need parents so why oh why does it have to take so long.

There is another one on tonight so interesting to see what that is like. I actually signed up on the C4 website to be involved in some research they are doing on adopters and got a call from them today out of the blue to ask me to attend an online focus group in a couple of weeks time... should be interesting.

L456 - Keeping everything crossed for DH coming home in time for your meeting.

Sonia - I cried when I read your post. You have been through so much I just can't believe this has happened with losing your babies. I know you won't feel like it now but you shoudl really complain about your experience. It is completely unacceptable for you to have to deal with this on top of everything else. Thinking of you and sending you hugs over the airwaves. 

Love to everyone else.

Moppit x


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## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Sonia I am utterly at a loss at what to say. I can't believe you are having to face this now after everything you have been through     


Moppit its good to hear that the panel aren;t as scarey as portrayed. I am with you on the time scale its so frustrating that it all take so long. I am so glad you enjoyed the group and feel more confident with it all.

L456 bless dh with the flowers. I hope you get some news soon on dh's return.

Kirstyn the waiting is so hard, I hope you get some news soon.

RB      great news, and happy belated birthday!

C your break sounds heaven.

Tiger how was the weekend, did you have a good party?

Mavis I have been planting like a demon, we have cauli, sprouts, cabbage, leeks, onions, spinach, beetroot, aubergine and carrots    I also got Tom a little trowel and he has been helping. Dh made him his own veg patch so he's very excited.

Hi to D, Hornauth, CB, Carol and anyone I've missed.

Take care ladies,

Jacks x


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## Cotswold Girl

Sonia, I'm lost for words, so sorry about all you're going through    

L456 - sorry your plans may have to be put on hold a little.   How sweet of your DH though - I bet he's keen to get going and be home with you too. Fingers crossed he makes it back in time.   

Jacks - you'll have to keep us posted on the progress of your DH's veg patch   

Rachel - sounds great that they seem keen to crack on with HS and Prep Course for you. A belated  

Carol - good luck for you prep course tomorrow. I hope it goes well. I start mine on Thursday - feeling a bit nervous now and know I'll be mega nervous Thursday morning  

Moppitt - so glad you've had such a positive experience on the prep course and have a timescale for being allocated a SW. Like you say it's good to have a timescale and hopefully you'll be matched with a SW soon   

Mx4321 - I hope you get matched very soon. The Wait must be so difficult.  

The Channel 4 programmes have been realy positive which is great. It's such a shame children have to wait so long in the system before being given the opportunity to go to a new family.  

CG xxx


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## Carol 36

Morning All

Just have a stressing moment before getting ready for prep course today!!!

Thanks to the ladies for your kind wishes, Moppit reading your positive post about your prep course made me feel a bit better.

Sonia my heart goes out to you, massive   

Kirstyn I really feel for you, it is so frustrating given the initial enthusisiam your la gave you intially. I really hope you get your news soon hon.

Jacks ahh wot a lovely thing to focus a lil veggie patch, well maybe not so lil wiv all the veg you have listed!!

Rachel happy belated bday wishes, wot fab news on your bday. x

Dh and I watched the program and it did reassure us we are doing the right thing, also hope it helps other people to join and give this children new parents sooner rather than later.

CG good luck for you tomorrow x

Anyway must sign off and sort myself out to getting ready for prep course!!OMG sooooooooooo nervous.


Mavis hope you are doing ok xx
Love
Cxx


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## jrhh

Carol good luck today  

Jacks x


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## JESS31

hi all,

i'm new on here, i have been doing tx now for about 7years 3 ivf and 3 fet but have now come to the end.had are last tx in march.
we have now decided to go for adoption,which as alway been in are thoughts but now want to put it in to action.
my dh and i have'nt really got a clue what to expected we have read alot about it on the internet but with all the course's and stuff, ( was never very good at school) i know its prob nothing like that,it just not knowing.
i'm 31 and dh is 34,

jess xx


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## curvycat

Well I got news!

We are on Prep in September! Yes September! We started this in Jan and Prep is not till Sept and the end of Sept at that! A full 9months after first interview! 

To say I am fed up is a understatment! And to top it off they were not able to tell me how quickly after that we would be allocated a sw and I was told "how long is a piece of string!" 

Well I am now ready to try else where so here is hoping that there is a VA out there that can move quicker.

Wish me luck!


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## mavis

Hi Kirstyn,

AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh DRAT.

Hope you are feeling a little better today and have managed just to look and maybe seek out some poss alternative options, I am sorry this has happened to you.  

love,

mavis x


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## mavis

Hi Jess,

Welcome to the boards.

Sorry to hear about your txs.

Where are you at so far with adoption?

love,

mavis x


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## Chocolate Button

Jess welcome. This is a great thread and you will get loads of help and advice. I know i Do.  

Kirstin I am so sorry Huni   you really are having a tough time. I hope you find a VA that is better for you. xx

well I made the call on Tue and spoke to one of the SW that I know from prep groups. I asked what was next for us and said I hoped I wasn't being pushy blah blah blah anyway she was lovely. She said she couldn't answer me, but thought I was right to call. She left a message for the other SW in charge of this area to call me back. As it is a small VA I know him also, but no call back yesterday or today. I am a bit annoyed. We just want to know what is happening next and when. I really hope they call tomorrow. xx

ladies I am starting up my own wee buisness. I make beautiful (if i do say so myself) invitations and cards. I have made several wedding invitations and regualrly take stalls at craft fayres. I am trying to get things off the ground. I am in the middle of making my brothers "Thank you" cards for when my new niece arrives and am making some invitations for my friends little girls communion. Also I just made my friends wedding invitations with beautiful feathers on them. 
I do not have a web site yet, but if anyone is interested I am happy to send as many samples of my work out as people like. I hope you don't mind me advertising to you all  , but it helps pass my time at the moment. xx


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## L456

Hey,

Sonia - how are you doing hun?

Lisa - Welcome - as chocolate button said this site is great it has been fantastic for me  

Carol - how did your prep course go?

If I have missed anyone I'm sorry - I hope that you are all well

Chocolate Button your card buisness sound great.  I also like making cards but my real passion is scrapbooking.  At the moment I am having a little bit of a panic as I have gone an bought more things whilst DH has been at sea.  He will go mad as he is always telling me off as he thinks i have far more stuff than i need 

I still have had no news or contact from DH.  It has been nearly a week and it looks very likely now that they will not be home when planned and for our meeting.  It is really hard not knowing how he is and whether he is ok.  I am sure he is have a ball doing what he has trained hard to do, however I have no real idea as to what they are up  

Well best I get on.  Take care
xx


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## Chocolate Button

L456 I agree about the DH thing. I sneak a few wee extra supplies from time to time. What DH doesn't see won't hurt him.


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## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Kirstyn how frustrating for you   I hope you get some alternative options soon.

Jess hello and welcome to the thread. All the ladies are lovely and so supportive.

Sonia how are you feeling. Is there any news?  

CG liked your comment    advertise away hun I shall keep you posted if I know of anyone or need anything myself. Good luck 

L456 Hope you get some news from dh soon hun.

Hi to everyone else hope your all doing OK.

All good here just waiting for my appointment in a few weeks. I have heard that the next prep course in this area is July so I am just hoping there will be space for us and they will allow us. The 6 months IVF will have ended in Aug so who knows.
We had a quiet lunch out on Sat and I'm not sure if any of you watch Waterloo Road but we were served by "Chloe" aka Katie. I was very excited!!!  

Take care lovely ladies.

Jacks x


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## popsi

just a real quick one to tell you i am reading but things a bit manic this end and not having time to post

kirstyn.. sorry about the wait hun, have a look about and see how you feel xx its so hard x

mavis.. thanks for the pm hun will reply now xx

chocolate.. i run my own business doing invitations and cards honey, its fab and really popular, and is really good for keeping occupied and positive.. GOOD LUCK   x

tiger.. hope your ok honey xx

ok not gonna attempt anymore personals as i am off to bed now as i am shattered xx


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## Moppit

Kirstyn - How frustrating to find out no Prep until September. I think you should definately do some research amongst VAs and other LAs to see if any of them can see you any quicker. I would recommend ours but I think you are in Birmingham so too far away. Don't be afraid to ring round LAS within your surrounding area though, I was told that they often like taking adopters from outside the county so you may be lucky. Keeping fingers crossed for you. If you do have to wait until September perhaps the silver lining will be that things move quicker afterwards...

Tiger - How are you doing? Any news?

Jess - Hello and welcome to the thread you are in completely the right place. You'll get great support and information on here. I was busy selling the adoption virgins to my Prep Group buddies only last week so hoping they'll come on board too. Where are you with the process? Can we help in anyway?

L456 - I really feel for you, I hate it when my DH is away on business and that is only for days at a time so I can't imagine how hard it is for you. Fingers crossed you hear from him this weekend.

Mavis - Hello!

Chocolate Button - Your card business sounds great, I'd be very happy to order some cards from you. Why don't you PM me and we can sort something out. Definately need some birthday cards so thats a start. One day you can make us all adoption announcement cards.... even if it is a long way off something to look forward to!

Did I tell you that C4 got in contact with me after I gave my details on the website - they are sending a DVD related to the programs this week and DH and I have to watch it and comment in an online focus group. Should be interesting!!!

Off to a very wet Devon for a weekend with my parents. A bit worried I"m turning into an adoption bore as its all I want to talk about but hope they don't mind!

Moppit x


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## JESS31

hiya,

thanks for the very warm welcome,it nice to have people to talk to about.

dh and i have been talking about adoption along time but only made the phone call on wed, got some info 2day.

next step is to go to a info session and talk to experienced adopters and sw,which is at the end of june. which im looking forward to couse at the moment we have'nt got a clue.

hope its going well for you all 

jess x


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## Cotswold Girl

Moppit - let us know what you think of the DVD they send you! The programmes they've been running this week have been really interesting. I'm sure your parents won't mind you talking about adoption - tough if they do by the sound of it - especially if you're cooped up inside   They'll be experts by the end of the weekend! I hope you have a fab time despite the weather. 

Kirstyn - how frustrating for you hun   It's worth ringing around to see if someone can get you onto a prep course etc sooner, but if no-one can guarantee you a place it might be as well to sit tight with current LA and count down the time til September. With your wedding to plan/look forward to September will be here before you know it. Hopefully this will be your only long wait and once your prep course is out of the way the home study and matching will all go quickly   

Mavis - how are you doing? Are you keeping busy?

Chocolate Button - I hope you heard back about next steps etc? If not it's worth ringing or emailing them again. 

Jess - welcome and good luck.   I was a little apprehensive about the course but so far so good, so please don't worry. The information evening will give you a lot of information about the process too and it's great to hear from people who've already adopted. 

L456 - I don't know how you cope not hearing from your husband for weeks on end. I hope you've got lots of good friends to keep you company.

Our first day on the course went well yesterday - there are only 3 other couples on the course and they all seem nice. Felt soo incredibly nervous yesterday morning but after initial introducations were out of the way and we'd got to our first tea break I started to calm down  

CG xxx


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## Chocolate Button

Moppit I have sent you a wee pm

Kirstyn  any luck on finding a VA yet or are you sticking with LA?  

Jess Welcome Huni and good luck. I was so nervous too, but honestly I ended up enjoying all my meetings and prep courses.  

CG Glad you are enjoying your courses. I found them really interesting and eye opening and they do help answer loads of your questions. Hope you enjoy the rest. xx

Kaytie To be totally honest with you I would tell your sw the truth. I found they asked me very specific questions and wanted detailed answers. Id be worried for you that they would find out somewhere down the line and you really need to have a good line of trust between you and your sw. Maybe you could still attend courses (we did) and then waited until 6 months were up before starting Homestudy. Perhaps you could ask if that is possible. BUT that is just my opinion you know what is best for you. xxxx

well I called my VA on Tuesday (as you know fromlast post  ) but i still haven't heard back. I am really disappointed with them as I was told they would call me the next day   . We got a letter in to invite us on a couple of courses. We don' have to attend, but they look really interesting. It is a first come first served basis so I will call tomorrow. I will use that as another opportunity to ask what is happening!!

Had a really hectic weekend looking after my niece. She is 17 months and a wee angel. Full of love, fun and mischief!!! My other niece is due this week. So I am excited and a little worried at the same time. I know it will be tough for us. So may need a few shoulders to lean on. 
Off to catch up on all the tv I missed out on. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## L456

Morning everyone

Sorry in advance for this post - I shall say hi individually so to speak when I get down from cloud nine!!!!!

Thats right the comms are back up!!!  I had 3 emails and a telephone call from my DH yesterday!!!!! and they are on their way home!!!    

And to top it all off when i rang our VA to cancel our appointment for today i was told that they would be happy to rearrange it at short notice and we have been given the name of our social worker.

Oh and I forgot the best bit    Because the VA have been so helpfull my DH boss has allowed him to have a weeks annual leave so we can go to a meeting!!!  So the ship will come in for a few days and then leave without my DH who will fly to meet them on there first stopover.  All in all he should be home for about just under 2 weeks - which also means that his time away again after leave will only be 5 weeks instead of 6!!!

So I am sooooooo excited!

Hope you all had a good weekend  
xxxxx


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## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

L546 Great news!!!!! bet your so excited on both counts.

CG here anytime if you need some support. My friend has just had a baby and it still hurts so very much and I am lucky enough to have Tom.   hope you get some news soon and you get on the courses you want.

Kaytie I am still in the 6 months post IVF too and am hoping they will go with CG;s suggestion too.

Moppit hope you had a great weekend. Have you seen the dvd's yet?

Jess I am new to it all too. We have our very first appointment next week. Its daunting hey!

Tiger hey hun how are you?

Popsi hope you got some rest and are feeling a little better.

Hi to everyone else hope you are all OK and had a good weekend.

I saw a friend who I hadn't seen for 13 years yesterday. It was so lovely and so sad too. Where does time go....

Jacks x


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## MissSunshine

Hi all!!

Just a quick post to say sorry for not checking in for a while. Both DH and I have been so busy with home study......we've had so much homework to do. It's like being back at school. We are loving it though, and all seems to be moving along nicely. We both received our CRB Disclosures, so are quite excited about that.......little things.  
Hoping that a panel date will be set soon, so here's     
'Sunshine' will be turning 1 next week..............looking forward to when we can celebrate with her.

It'll take me a while to catch up with everyone's news, so big hugs and kisses to you all for now,

Rhonda.XxXxX


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## Moppit

Hello Lovely Ladies

Back from Devon and had a lovely weekend if a little soggy! Now need to go on a diet after 4 days of farm food and cream teas which are making my trousers seem very tight!

Quick question for all of you who have completed application forms:

1. It seems we have to provide a work reference. Do you know if this has to be someone you work with now or whether it could be a colleague from a previous employer. Is it supposed to be a friend at work or someone who manages you?

2. Addresses where you have lived - are you literally supposed to put down every address you have ever lived? I lived in several houses at university but each one was for less than a year and wondering whether I need to include these (can't even remember the addresses of all of them...)

3. The section on your house and local area - what kind of thing did you include? 

Thanks as always for your help.

Moppit x


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## popsi

Hi Moppett

Glad you had a nice holiday x

i can help you with work question, i had to have one off my manager, its very basic, how long you have been there etc, not like a work reference... just to confirm employment really

not sure on the addresses (only lived in 3)... or the section on house etc as we did not have to do that, but hopefully someone will pop in and help you

much love to everyone else, sorry i am not great posting but am reading and will answer anything i can to help

xx


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## Mx4321

Regarding the addressess Moppitt i had the same problem with my unviersity accomodation, i simply put the name of the University down for the three years I was there and had no comeback on that.


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## hornauth

hi all

i know i've not posted much but i read most days.  time is going in slowly but surely so won't be long till 6 months are up....sw said they'd contact us july/august...hopefully we won't have to wait too much longer after that till prep...i see some of you having to wait months.

it's good reading about all your stories etc...xx

moppit - having not filled out any forms etc yet can't really help but i see they ask about your house/area? i'd just describe your house (like bedrooms/garden etc) and for the area what kinda parks etc are around?  i'm sure others who've already filled out the forms will help better..x

HI everyone...hope you're all well.

take care
x


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## Cotswold Girl

L456 - what wonderful news   No wonder you're still on could 9!!! Bet you're really looking forward to having your DH all to yourself for 2 weeks. Great too to hear that the navy and your VA are doing their best to rearrange your initial visit.

Moppit - on our application form we listed every house we lived at, so there could be no comeback later on. Both DH and I had quite a long list between us! Really struggled to fit it in the boxes provided! Small tip - fill it in pencil them ink over! I only did that at DH's suggestion after messing up quite a few photocopies of the form   Re. describing house - I started proximity to parks, family house with downstairs loo (assumed that would be a plus with young kids), large garden, good schools nearby etc. Basically everything I could think of that suggested child friendly  

Off to bed now. 

CG xxx


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## Chocolate Button

Need your advice ladies.  
I finally managed to get to speak to the person in chanrge of or VA. It took a week for them to return my call! I will quickly remind you of our story so far. Visit from sw to discuss our intersst in adoption. We discussed of tx etc. Invited and attended prep groups in Feb. SW allocated and at 1st visit she said we may have to wait until 6 months after last tx to start homestudy. We did so we waited until May which was what we were told to do. Called to see when we can start and are now told that if someone is available we will be "picked up pretty quickly", but because our sw has now been allocated to someone else and with holidays coming up we may have to wait until AUGUST!!! He will discuss it with other sw who allocated sw's if that makes sense.  
I have to say I am none to pleased. 
Here are my reasons why: 1. when invited onto prep groups we had no idea we would then be asked to wait until 6 months from last tx.
                                    2. We discussed personal info with sw and now will have to have another worker.
                                    3. Estimated timescales given at prep groups are now so far out it is unbelievable. Starting when we should have
                                        been finished!
                                    4. We waited patiently and VA knew we would be due to start in May so should have been making plans for us
                                        before then.
I called back the next day and left a message to say that we had concerned about having to wait until Aug and once a decision had been made could we be contacted to let us know what is happening.

I am really worried that we will have to wait 6 months from prep groups to start of HS and I am also worried that I have done the right thing voicing my concerns. Will it make me look like a right moan and a bit pushy? I hope I have done the right thing. What do you think? what should I do now?


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## L456

Hi CB

Not having been in your situation I am not sure how to advise as such, but I don't think voicing your concerns or expressing your keeness to proceed (sooner rather than later) can hurt you.  

I am the type of person who can not leave things and will often 'make a nusicence of myself' by ringing and checking things, and if i was in your situation I would probably call them back in a while to 1. see if they received my message ok and 2. what they thought of it.

Forgive me if i have missunderstood - but have you already approached a LA before you chose to go to with a VA - maybe it would not hurt to ring other agencies (if poss) to see if their reaction would be different.  You would not necessarily have to go with any of them.

I am not sure as to whether I have actually helped you here    but I   that it sorts it self out soon.

xxxx


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## Chocolate Button

Thank you L456 I really appreciate your advice. I don't know what I would do without this thread.  I have already attended the prep groups for the VA and so it would be a bit of a step backwards to change now.
I just felt I had to express my concerns, but worry I have made a pest of myself.  
I am a bit like you. I like to keep in control of things and don't like it when things are unknown.
Thank you for your advice it was good to know someone else is like me.


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## Moppit

CB - My heart goes out to you the waiting is soooo frustrating not least because it seems as if your LA have caused it by being disorganised. I know it seems like an eternity right now but as my DH is always telling me in the scheme of our lives this is a relatively small blip. One day soon all the heartache of waiting will be behind you because you'll be a Mummy. Hang on in there, put as much pressure on the LA as you can without annoying them (difficult I know) and start counting the days. Before you know it, it will be here.

Another question from me about application forms (I'm either being stupid or ours isnt very clear. On the referees section we are asked for 6 referees (3 each) of which 1 each must be family. Does one of these referees need to be the work one or is the work referee a seperate reference collected by the fact that you need to add your current employers details on a different part of the form. I did have an answer back from the LA saying that the work referee needs to be HR or your manager but it was not clear whether this forms part of the 6 or is seperate.

Help!

Moppit x


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## mavis

Hi Everyone,

Just a quick post as am not feeling well at the mo.  Problems down below!!!

CB, I think the fact they said you should be picked up pretty quickly is a good thing, so I think the capacity may be there although your original SW wont be doing it, I am hoping for you it will be ok, is it possible to contact your original sw again or their manager to see where you stand.

I must admit our sw has changed 3 times and it is hard going back over it all again and again, at least they are doing it now rather than half way through hs!? I know it is such a pain, I also think by you calling them is a good thing as it shows your interested and keen to get on, so I wouldnt worry about that - I think what you have done is perfectly normal.  Really we just need you to be able to hear back.  GOOD LUCK - Thinking of you, keep us posted x

L456, Glad to read you Dh will be back : )

Moppit, Our work ref was on top of the 6 refs, hope this helps, Form filling - oh joyous ; ) take care.

Love to you all,

mavis x


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## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Mavis I hope you feel better soon. Take care    

CB I don't blame you for your frustration. I have to say I would have done the same thing. You have been so patient and its so hard when its going so slowly for you. Surely they should be pleased that you are keen to progress.  

Moppit how are the forms going? have you managed to complete them yet?  Hope so, I'm sure I shall be on here asking questions too when we finally reach that point. Glad the hols were good. Mmmmmm cream teas   

L456 how's things?

Hornauth hope the time passes quickly for you!

Hi to everyone else hope you all have a great BH.

I can't believe out first appointment is next week. I am quite excited if not a little nervous.

Jacks x


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## Cotswold Girl

Mavis - hope you're feeling better soon   

Chocolate Button - I don't think they'll worry about you chasing them and trying to see if you can start your home study asap. With any luck the person you spoke to was being pessimistic and you'll start sooner.    I know the waiting is frustrating but you are on your way to becoming a family.    

Moppit - how's the form coming along? Have you finished it yet?

Jacks - I hope your first appt goes well    

We had the 2nd day of our prep course on Friday - I found it more intense than the first one as it was about loss   Felt really drained Friday evening! So glad of a long bank holiday weekend.   Everyone on the course is lovely though which helps.

Enjoy the rest of the bank holiday everyone! Lets hope it stays sunny  

CGxxx


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## mavis

Hi Everyone,

Jacks thank you for thinking of me, Good Luck for your appt - bet you are v excited.

CG, Again thank you for thinking of me too, I know what you mean about the losses, they are very heavy, it is all and so much is crammed in too.  Hope your mind and soul has had a break over the weekend.

Thank you Carol and Popsi xx

Love to everyone else.

Take care,

mavis x


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## L456

Hi everyone  

How is everyone  Have you all enjoyed the long weekend and above all else the sunshine??    Have you been up to anything nice?

Sorry for being a little lax and checking to see how you all are - the reason being that my DH came home    In fact he is downstairs on the laptop!  It has been great to have him home - apart from being a little browner he has not changed much since I saw him last in January!  

I am extremely lucky as he is home till next week because we are due to meet our social worker for the first time tomorrow!!!  I am extremely nervous about it all but I suppose all i can do is be myself.  I am hoping we will have a few more things to work toward and have a bit of a plan to follow.....  It is starting to feel so much more real (bad english I am afraid  )

I am also getting used to the fact that I am now an aunty and have finally seen some photos of the little man, but i would be lying if I said that I still didnt have little twinges of jealousy of their family every once and a while.  However I went and bought loads of cool things to send to him which certainly helped - as often retail therapy does    

Anyway -   to all - hope your week goes ok
xx


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## Moppit

Just a quick one from me but wanted to say hellos to all the lovely virgins. Hope you all enjoyed the sunshine, had a busy weekend of decorating and gardening. Now have all the info I need for the form and will be filling it out this week and getting it off by next Monday.

L456 - So pleased to hear your hubby is home, fantastic news. Good luck with your meeting today you will be absolutely fine and it means you are on your way and one very big step closer to being a Mummy!

CB - Any news re chasing your LA?

Love to all 

Moppit x


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## Chocolate Button

Hi Moppit No nothing so far. I didn't expect to here back until this week as I am not sure when the other sw will return from her hols and then they will have to meet up to discuss us. I really hope to hear this week or next.
How are you? Did you have a nice weekend?

L456 It must be so nice for you to have DH home and great news about your meeting. I hope all went well for you. xx

Hello to everyone else. Just a quick post as I am just in from work and DH will be home soon. It is such a nice night we are going to have an early dinner and go out for a walk or a long drive. Catch up later. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

Hope you are all well. I had a busy weekend, we have been chopping our big hedge down in our back garden, still got some left to do. And yesterday we went to Alton Towers with our friend's and their 4 children, it was a hectic day but good fun.

I am going back full time to work tommorrow. I have to go for a scan next wednesday to make sure our lost babies are not in my tummy, but I would have thought I would be very poorly by now. The hospital still can't find them, where they are I don't know. I had the D&C 6 weeks ago and still no AF.

Anyway speak to you all soon

Sonia xx


----------



## curvycat

Hi all

Havent been posting but have been reading every day! 

Sonia I hope you are not going back to work to early. Can you do half days? I found it too much to go straight in full time after my situations.

L456 enjoy your man, although I expect you are not having to be told to do that! 

CB I hope you hear something soon, take comfort in how far you have come in such a short time babe. You already have 6months on me.

Mavis my baby how are you?? Hope to hear from you soon.

To everyone else HI! 

We met with the VA today to see about moving. They definately seemed to want us although we have to wait to hear officially from manager in the next few weeks. Unfortunately we have work commitments during there July prep and so it wouldnt be till Nov! They may give us a sw before though and if that is the case we may still move. 

Not easy hay!


----------



## jrhh

Hi lovely ladies,

Moppit well done on almost completing the form, how exciting. Ooooo decorating and gardening I am impressed. We did lots of veggie planting this weekend it was great fun.

Sonia I hope you are feeling a little  better and work goes well. Take it easy though hun. I hope you get some news fro  the hospital soon.

L456 How fab dh is home. How did it go today?

CB hope you had a lovely eve.

Mavis your welcome   hope your feeling better now.   I am excited   

Kirstyn I hope you get the news you wnat re the moving. Why does it all have to be so hard hey!

CG I hope you have recovered now from Fri, sounds really draining   glad the group were nice though.

Hi to everyone else  

Well our very first appoint is tomorrow, the first step in a very long road. Dh and I had a huge chat about it tonight as we obviously have Tom to consider too which makes it harder. It felt good to talk and I am now going in feeling positive and excited. I'll keep you posted ladies.

Take care

Jacks x


----------



## Rachelbee

Hi Ladies,

Well I have got all my application forms filled in at last and am (im)patiently waiting for SW to return on 13th June to get the forms! This will be our second visit with her, not sure what to expect, does anyone else know? She's coming for 3 hours!! 

L456- how did your 1st meet go?

Well, I do come on here and read the posts often but normally am guilty of reading and running   Sorry!!

 too y'all x


----------



## Moppit

Hi RachelBee - Congratulations on getting your forms completed. We are still knee deep in ours and now worried that somehow in the photocopying process to make sure we had some copies to practice on we have lost a page. It mentions that a page about our finances is attached but can see nothing relating to this apart from the odd question throughout the form on mortgage/rent payments and salary. Did you have a seperate page on finances relating to debt etc? Can anyone else help? Dreading calling the Social Workers tomorrow to ask them to send another form if we have managed to mislay it.

Moppit x


----------



## jrhh

Hi Moppit hope you found the forms!

Rachel bee well done on the forms, hope the time goes quickly for you.

It went well this morning and we have decided to follow on with the adoption now. we sent off a confirmation letter today. It feels good to have made the decision, I guess I am just worried about how Tom will cope with it all but having a sibling for him is so important to us both. A question ladies: they are holding the prep course for our area in July and doubt if we will make it on it. Sadly the next one won't be till FEB which is soooooooo far off. They did mention it may be poss for us to go on one in another area and I wondered if anyone else has done that, and if so did you have to arrange it?  Thanks in advance.

Jacks


----------



## Rachelbee

Moppit, that sounds like the only finance info that we got on our forms, it didn't really go into detail, as you said, just asked about rent, council tax and salary!!

Jrhh, Good luck with the process!! We initially went with our closest authority but decided to move to another! Glad we did.

Have a good day everyone!
xx


----------



## L456

Morning everyone!

Moppit - did you find the form ok? or did you ring your SW in the end?

Racheal - The time will fly by till the 13th!!  3 hours sounds a long time but once you all start talking through things it will have gone in a flash

Sonia - How are you hun??  sending  

Jrhh - fingers crossed that all goes to plan for you....

Sorry if I have missed anybody   

Well our meeting went ok - i suppose - it was a lot of build up for not alot - but I suppose I should get used to that.  We did not get to meet our SW in the end as she could not make it.  We met with the 'boss' again and talked through what we have been up to and she seemed really pleased with all the courses I have been on and the fact that we have taken the time to do our timeline and get thoughts of our losses and childhood things down on paper in readiness for our first meeitng with the SW.  She wanted to check DH ships programme dates to see if anything had changed significantly as they have decided to move our first prep course to later in the year.  Which is a little dissapointing but it puts our minds at rest a bit as DH ship is on special duty in July which means he could be sent away at short notice again for an indeterminent length of time.  We had visions of being on the course and him getting a phone call to say he was had to leave      

Also they are to send out form for me to get my medical underway.  However nothing now can happen and till my DH has returned again in July from his second part of his deployment.  The we should definately have our first meeting with the SW and the ball will be sent rolling.  They are still hoping to get us to panel before DH has to leave AGAIN for another 7 month deployment early next year!

So that was our meeting - like i said not alot...........    Now I have the rest of the week off to spend with DH before he flies out to meet his ship.  Great timing - I have a stinking cold  

I hope that you all have a good week.

xx


----------



## jrhh

Thanks Ladies I will chase up them up next week and see if they could allocate a place on another in the region.

L456 glad it went well.

Sorry just a quick run through. Take care all.

Jacks x


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

Hope you are all okay

We went to the adoption information meeting last night, it was good, we filled in the slip to go ahead with the adoption process and so hopefully soon someone will come out to us to talk to us for an initial visit and talk in more detail about the adoption process. The next prep course is July but that is full besides we are on holiday and I believe the one after that is in October. In which case if they say we have to wait six months since miscarraige then october will be 6 months mark. They never said about the wait they just said all fertility treatments and investigaions should be completed.
So completed step two of the ten steps stated in their information packs.  

Hope everyone is well

Sonia xx


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Hi everyone - just a quick post as off to bed soon. Work has been mega busy so not much time to read or post lately. DH and I are off on our hols on Saturday and I can't wait! 2 weeks in the States here we come 

We've got the 3rd day of our course on Friday, having had a break from it last week. Thankfully they're letting us do our final day (which we miss because of our hols) in Oct. They've said wh should be able to start our homestudy before doing our final day in Oct so hoping we don't have to wait too long before getting assigned a Social Worker.

Jacks - so glad you've made the decision to go ahead. 

L456 - so pleased you've got your DH home for a while   Enjoy your time together  

Sonia - well done on getting past step 2   Roll on October!

Rachel - good luck with your visit! Gosh 3 hours - didn't realise they'd be that long!

Kirstyn - good to hear from you, I hope your decision to stay or move authorities goes ok - not an easy call to make. 

Mavis - any news on your homestudy yet?

Moppitt - I hope you've managed to finish your forms - they're a nightmare! 

Enjoy the great British sunshine everyone. CG xxx


----------



## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

CG have a great hol, oooo I am so jealous. Hope the course goes OK tomorrow.

L456 hope you are having a lovely time with dh.

Sonia great news, Oct will be here before you know it.

Moppit have you send all your forms back yet

Hi to everyone else your all very quiet.

Well I had an upsetting ph call with the adoption agency. I called to ask if they had received our letter to try and get us on the July prep course and the lady I spoke to was really horrid. Basically she said not to get our hopes up as we were not a high priority since we were looking to adopt a child from 0-2 as they were looking for people willing to adopt sibling groups or older children. I asked about the prep courses in the surrounding areas and again she was dismissive. I felt like I had fallen at the first hurdle. I called again yesterday and spoke to the social worker who interviewed us and she was lovely and supportive and said she would look into it for us and there was no reason why we couldn't go on one of the others and is calling me back tomorrow. I am so glad I called back. Why do people have to be so hurtful, there are so many children out there desperate for homes its so frustrating.  Sorry for the rant ladies I was just so upset.

Take care

Jacks x


----------



## jaspar

Hello 
I'm new here. I've been reading the posts for a while now, really interesting to read other peoples stories.  My DH & I started on the adoption route almost 1 year ago and the progress has been painfully slow. As you can see from my profile we had some devastating news today, I almost feel like giving it all up....but after a day of tears and phonecalls we have decided to approach another v/a (not sure which one yet).  Anyway sorry my first post is so negative, but hopefully a change of agency will turn out to be a good thing.

goodnight
xxx


----------



## popsi

just popping in really quickly to say hello and give a big   to you all ..sorry no personals today as i have had my surgery and am feeling quite sore but will catch up better when i am more human xx we are getting out form F today to read over the weekend  xx


----------



## jrhh

Popsi hope you feel better soon     

Jaspar hello and welcome to the thread. I hope you get some positive news soon   to you too.

Well my SW called today and said I should hear on Tues if we have got on the course in July. If we haven't she said she would try and get us on one of the others. Fingers crossed otherwise its next Jan/ Feb which is too far away.

Hello to everyone esle.

Jacks x


----------



## popsi

jacks.. i have everything crossed for you xx

we had our PAR(form f) today and it was fab i have to say have     lots of happy tears all afternoon x


----------



## curvycat

hello all! 

Well I think we have made a decision! 

AFC have said they can allocate us a sw in sept and so I think we are going to go with them. 

Mind I have all weekend to change my mind! 

Hope all are well.

Popsi wow almost there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Jacks good luck for July


----------



## Chocolate Button

Sorry for the lack of posts this week. It has been such a hectic week. After a lot of waiting and traveling back and forwards to my brothers in Edinburgh, finally after being two weeks late my new baby niece arrived. Her name is Ellie and she is sooooo beautiful. A few tear and a difficult time for us, but we love her to bits. Think Ihave experienced every emotion possible in the last few days.  
I will catch up on personals asap, but for now im off to relax, we are shattered. xxxx


----------



## Moppit

Hello Lovely Ladies

Wow so much to catch up on.

CB - Congratulations on becoming an auntie. All the emotions must be hard but focus on the fact that you have a gorgeous new baby in your life, even if it is not your own, she will always be special to you and one day before too long you'll be watching her play with your children, her cousins.

Kirstyn - Good news on the allocation of a social worker, September will be here before you know it.

Popsi - I hope you recover quickly and you are being looked after well by DH/DP

Jacks - Your SW sounds lovely and a really good advocate for you. Ignore the other woman who sounds horrible. Fingers crossed you get on the course on July. Let us know.

Jasper - I am so sorry to hear your news. You must be devastated. Are you sure you have to start again, surely another agency or LA will not require you to do the Prep Group again? What stage are you at? Keeping fingers crossed that you get good news from another agency soon.

As for me well finally got the forms off on Thursday after days of agonising over the questions - sounds ridiculous but somehow managed to get ourselves twisted in knots working out what we were supposed to put and then trying to fit it into the ridiculously small spaces they allow. Have also confirmed our referees which is good although managed to offend a couple of close friends who were dying to help, have asked them to write letters anyway as have been told that they can do this and can't hurt.

Spent the weekend in Spain at a fantastic wedding. Dancing till 6am on Saturday and for once wasnt envious of those with children who had to either leave early or be woken at the crack of dawn! 

Love to all

Moppit x


----------



## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Moppit good for you re the wedding! sounds great fun. Well done on getting the forms done too!  We will hear tomorrow re the course, I hope so much we will make it in July.

CG     on Ellie. Glad you are feeling a little better I bet she is gorgeous. Take care though.

Kirstyn, great news, everything crossed for you.

Popsi how are you feeling? hope you getting better x

Hi to L456, Jasper, Sonia, CB and anyone I have missed.

I am quite nervous about tomorrow, fingers crossed ladies.

Jacks x


----------



## curvycat

Well we have officially taken the leap! Called AFC today and told them we wanted to work with them. They are so so so lovely and really really really want to work with us! It is all a bit overwhelming after the LA taking so long that they are so keen on working with us and really seem to want to bend over backwards for us. 

Fingers crossed that this will continue and things will finally start moving in the right direction!

Will be filling in apllication form, having medical and crbs done again and references and so lots to do before september but it really will not come quickly enough. 

What with that and our wedding in October! Wow what an end to the yr!


----------



## Rachelbee

Jasper- don't get too disheartened, it will happen in the end for you, my friend always tells me 'our' child is out there waiting, so don't worry about how long they take as they will come at the right time  


Moppit- sounds like a fab weekend!! 

Kirstyn, what a busy end of the year you will have, sounds great! 

Popsi, hope you are feeling better now! 

JRHH- fingers crossed for you! 

Sorry if I have missed anyone!  

No news here really, our SW is coming this saturday then again on next wednesday, after that 1st july- busy busy busy!!


----------



## mavis

Hello All,

L456, that is great that they hope to have your HS completed within 7 months.  Hope you enjoyed your time with DH.  I knwo what you mean we seem to put so much on it it can be a bit of a come down afterwards.

Sonia, glad you enjoyed the info meeting, hope someone gets in touch with you soon and you have a lovely holiday in July.

Popsi, so glad ur op is out of the way now I hope you are making a speedy recovery.  Great news about your PAR sound slike you are happy with it : )

Jacks, I can understand why you were upset by that insensitive remark from the agnecy, Glad now though that your SW is looking for you for other preps and has open lines of comms wiht you.
Good Luck.

Moppit, Glad u got ur forms off now - phewee, weekend in Spain sounded fab : ) just what you needed after all that form filling! bleurgh

Kirstyn, Thank you, glad you are feeling happy positive about th move you ahve made. WooHoo Wedding nearly here - U excited? nrly all done?

CB, Big Hug to you, CONGRATS Auntie, make sure you look after yourself also.

Jaspar, Sorry to hear your news, GGGRRRRrrrrr.  You poor souls, hope you find someone else very soon. I wonder can they take over the info that has been covered already with the agency?

CG, Hope you are having a fab time in the States!, Great news about your prep groups, not so pleased with the British sunshine!!! No news yet on HS! but hopefully nrly there now.  

Hellooooo TIGER, U ok?

Rachelbee, your HS sounds like its steaming along well for you. 

Take care and love to everyone,

mavis x


----------



## Shoe Queen

Hello everyone

Sorry have not posted for ages - feeling a bit in limbo at the moment so will probably come back to rejoin you all in a couple of months when we are a bit further along in the process.

We started our prep course 2 weeks ago and whilst its going well, didnt realise how much work was involved so am having mixed feelings about the whole thing to be honest.

Thank you all for your support and help over the last few weeks and hopefully Ill be back soon.

Cath xx


----------



## curvycat

Glad to see you back Mavis will pm u in a bit! 

Tiger take your time I think we all have doubts.

But as for me...............................................................

WE ARE BOOKED IN FOR THE PREP TRAINING IN JULY!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Sorry to shout but I am so excited!  

I told me boss about it clashing with work commitments and she felt it should not even be a question and told me to book the time off. Called AFC and they will rush to get the application forms out to us so that we can be on the July course! 

YAY!!! 

After sitting around doing jack for 6 months everything is moving now. Wish we had gone through a VA straight away but DH wanted to go through the LA   any how! 

YAY!!!

It is my other halfs stag weekend right in the middle so they have said they will sit him by a open window on the monday!!!! I think that just means he cant get drunk  

Just in case no one noticed I am so so so excited 

YAY!!!


----------



## mavis

Hi Tiger, Take care. x

Kirstyn, Great news!!!   - can telll u r over the moon

love, mavis x


----------



## Rachelbee

Kirstyn  - Fab news ! Just wondered if you had started your home study yet? We have but have not done prep courses yet! I assumed we would normally be doing prep 1st the HS?!

Mavis - Yes it certainly is steaming ahead! Still cannot quite believe it to be honest lol!!

xx


----------



## Moppit

Kirstyn - Fab news about your Prep Groups. Soooo happy for you, you deserve it. Hilarious about your DH's Stag being half way through. I had a hen half way through ours and survived despite lots of drinking on the saturday night so I'm sure he'll be fine. 

Rachelbee - It seems that some LAs do things a different way round. We did our Prep groups then the form and are now awaiting home study but I have heard of other people doing home study first.

Tiger - Sorry you are feeling a bit down about things. The prep group is alot of work but it will be worth it 

Moppitx


----------



## clarity

Hi
Sorry to sneak in. Hello everyone. I'm still in the IVF nightmare but will be out of it by the end of the summer and DP and I have decided to adopt. Adoption has always been on my mind from a very young age. I have 3 adopted really good friends and my grand father had a foster sister. When I was a kid, sometimes I fantasised that I was adopted and real parents spoke another language. I really wanted to be like my little Swedish friend and speak 2 languages (I do now!). I don't expect the last treatment to work any better than the previous 6 so I'm starting to look into adoption as I have no work at the moment and lots of time on my hands.
I'm a total adoption virgin. I have read a book about it yesterday but I'm still full of ?
Not sure if you guys could help?

OK here we are:
- why go to an agency vs going straight to local authority?
- how do you find agencies?
- there is an open day in July run by our local authority, should I go even tho we are still doing IVF?
- what kind of things do they ask you during the home study and what are all the forms you have to fill out
- I'm french and partner is kiwi, we have been together for over 10yrs but not married and not British, lived in the uk for over 12 yrs. Do you think the fact that we r not british could be a problem?
- could we start the adoption process straight after the IVF?
- Any of you considered foreign adoption? 
- Any advice on getting started?

I'll stop there but if you could help that would be grand cause I'm slightly   

Thanks ladees
Cx


----------



## mavis

Hi Clarity,

Welcome to the thread 

Firstly can I say that I am sorry to hear of your losses. I wish you luck with this cycle.

Right the questions, I will try and answer what I can and hopefully some other ladies will chip in too.

Here is a link to a previous FF post on LA/VA? http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=172626.0 - which I hope might help.

I think if you are situated and have neighbouring LA's usually within a certian radius 40 or 50 miles I am not sure you can contact them and see if you are in their area then you get a choice this way for a start. With regard to VA's you can go onto the BAAF website and on their left hand menu they have something their about agencies and you can type in your postcode and fins ones serving your area. Someone also told me that you can look on yell.com and search that way also. I am sure there are other ways too.

With regard to your open day, I do not feel that there any harm in looking around and asking questions etc it is an open day afterall, if you were worried you could ask the LA their views on it. From what I recall our open day was walking around looking at different stands talking and asking questions if you wanted and we also had 2 speakers one from the LA talking about the process and expectations etc and another which was a lasy that had adopted recently.

The homestudy, we cannot say too much online but it really looks into both yours and your partners lives, history, medical present, employment, who you are, what you are about etc, where you want to be? what you want out of it. We are in the homestudy currently as are a few others on here and some have just completed. You can always pm me and I will do my best to help.

With regard to your nationality I dont know, I recommend that you ring adoption uk 0844 848 7900 they have a free helpline for advice on such matters and have been very useful for us also throughout the process, again though you could ask your LA this.

Starting the process straight after the IVf you would have to ask the LA or VA this, you could start calling round now to know what position they would like you to be in, our LA wanted 6 months clear of any treatment and I think some others are like this also. But i have heard and knwo this to be true as some of the ladies on here have enquired gone to info day and this has used up all of their 6 months or half of it etc just getting to that stage. (hoping im making sense!)

We personally havent considered foreign adoption.

Getting started if it were me I would call LA's and maybe VA's state that you are just enquiring at this stage and explain about your nationality and the IVF etc, you normally call and ask to speak to the adoption duty social worker that day and they go through things with you - this was for LA I imagine VA are similar. Have a look think about it etc and then see how you feel.

They are just my thoughts and views I wish you well.

Good Luck with your tx.

Feel free to pm me anytime,

mavis x


----------



## mavis

OOOH Moppit,

I just noticed not long to go now. : )

mavis x


----------



## Moppit

Thanks Mavis - need to update my ticker its stating weeks since Prep Groups but if you are saying not long till we here from the LA on being allocated a social worker, you are right - they said 8 weeks after prep groups so shouldnt be too long.

X


----------



## popsi

Hi

Just to let you all knolw our panel has been cancelled again, got the upsetting phone call this morning, so its now on the 7th July (i really hope its not cancelled then as this will be the 3rd time)  , feeling pretty fed up right now but onwards and upwards hey xxx

Hope your all ok xxx


----------



## mavis

Hi Popsi,

Oh I am so annoyed for you. Damn.

Know the feeling well!

Grrr, it is so frustrating as there is little you can do about it, has your SW been supportive?

Glad you have another date to fix on at least- it all seems so endless.

Sorry, how about you and DH doing something special for yourselves to build yourselves up again.  Even if it is small it is still nice.

mavis x


----------



## popsi

Hi Mavis

I feel really bad for complaining when i know others like yourself have a lot more to deal with than this x

Our SW is marvelous, when she rung i said oh well its ok, and she was like its NOT ok and its NOT fair lol.. think she was crosser than we were bless her x

We have 2 wedding in the next three weeks to go to so no time to do anything much but really looking forward to them,  just hope it goes ahead next time  

Hope your ok honey, any news your end yet ?


----------



## mavis

Hi Popsi,

Dont be daft, as I said before we all seem to have a rough time of it at some point.  Thank you though for your consideration.  I am pleased (well im not if you knwo what i mean) that SW empathises with you.  What else can you say other oh OK.  Be lovely to just go potty.

I do hope ti goes ahead for you this time - 3rd time luck eh - am sending you lots of +++thoughts.  Panel will be aware of this too when you go.

No news yet but not long till we try and get some! heres hoping 

Take care,

love to you both,

mavis x


----------



## Rachelbee

Popsi- Sorry to hear that, u must have been really upset, july is not far off now tho, I will keep everything crossed for you!


----------



## Nova

Hi Ladies

I hope you don't mind me popping in.. 

We have been on a donor list now for nearly a year and have been told the wait is long... so we have been thinking about stopping and moving on to adoption. Its always something we have been thinking about since the very beginning.. To be honest I'm not sure tx is the way for us anymore, i I think we have come to the end of that road.

I called my local LEA and they said they have a long wait the process at the moment due to lots of people wanting to adopt.. They are sending out the forms for us to fill in but from what the lady said I don't think its really going to happen for ages... so has anyone got any advice on if we should wait or go to voluntary agencies? Any good books to recommend??  You know what its like I like to know the ins and outs of it all...

thank you 

Nova XXXXXX


----------



## Rachelbee

Well well well.......

We had our 1st home study today for 3 hours!!

THe best bit being news on our panel date! When our SW came last month she said she waould like us to go to panel in december!! Today she said it's been changed to 7th October!!! To say we are over the moon is an understatement!!!! What a great start to a saturday!!!


----------



## Moppit

Wow Rachel thats amazing news! So does this mean you had a home study meeting on a Saturday 

Moppit x


----------



## Rachelbee

Moppit, yes it does, SW said when she cam last month she really wants to get on with getting us through this so she is coming evenings and weekends to see us!! There is 1 week i August where she comes wed eveong, 1st prep on the thurs then SW back on saturday! What a week that will be!!!


----------



## HFI

Hi ladies

Well it's been a looooong time since I last posted and most of you have probably forgotten who I am  

I have been watching your journey's but I've not had time to post.............lots has been happening!

I can confirm I am going to be a mummy    My DH and I were matched with a 7 month old little girl at the beginning of April    I've been too nervous to mention it, I didn't want to tempt fate but now we are almost there.  I leave work tomorrow for a whole year and we meet our little one for the first time on Thursday    .  If all goes according to plan, she'll be coming home on 29th June  

Rachelbee - Fantastic news your panel date has been brought forward to October, you must be over the moon.

Mavis - It's always so good to read your posts.  Fingers crossed things start moving fast for you, I know you've had some unfortunate delays.  Fingers crossed you'll be at panel very soon.

Popsi - So sorry your panel was cancelled, I can understand how gutted you must of been.  On the bright side, you have a new date and 7th July will be here before you know it.  Enjoy your weddings over the coming weeks, I love a good wedding!

Nova / Clarity - Welcome and good luck with your journeys to motherhood  

Moppitt - I hope you get a social worker allocated really soon  

Tiger - Sorry to hear you've been feeling down, hang in there it will all be worth it in the end.

Kirstyn - Brilliant news you're on the July Prep Course.  When do you get married?  All the very best of luck for your big day.

Hi to CB, Jacks, Jasper, CG, Sonia, L456 and anyone else I may have missed.

I will keep an eye on all your journeys but I might be a bit busy for the next few months    I would like to say to all you "adoption virgins" - hang in there, dreams do come true      

Take care and good luck  

Love H xxx


----------



## popsi

Just a quick one to say HFI .. OMG !!! congratulations honey 7 months !!! thats a tiny baby .. i bet your over the moon, enjoy the next week or so until you bring her home to her forever family xxxx

love to everyone no time for personals off out in the sun now xxx


----------



## Moppit

HFI - Completely bowled over by your message. Such fantastic news and such a young baby. It must be everything you ever dreamed of. Massive congratulations to you and DH, enjoy every second of the excitement of knowing you are going to meet your child soon. Stay in touch and let us know what it is like to finally achieve the dream!

Moppit x


----------



## Shoe Queen

H - fantastic news - really has given me inspiration!! Cant wait to hear all about your journey!!!


----------



## curvycat

CONGRATS HFI!! 

Let us know how you get on

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy for you


----------



## L456

Hey all,

Firstly I want to apologise for not coming on here for ages - it has been a bit of an odd few weeks.

Secondly I am still trying to catch up with all the news - so I will say I am sorry if i miss anyone  

HFI - Fantastic News!!!!!!!  I just grinned when i read your post.  

It is funny that I dont know any of you personlly but when I hear your good news I feel excited for you all as if I have known you for years  

Kirstyn - Prep courses in July!!!!!  Good luck

Moppitt -  Any news on a social worker?  I am   that you will hear soon

Popsi - 7 july will be here before you know it and I will also be   that it does not get changed again.

Well I am still waiting for my DH to come home.  He came back and went again and is now playing War games somewhere in the Baltic.  However he is home at the begining of July and i cant wait to be part of the proper homecoming with the Marines band and him in his posh uniform!.  

We now have had written confirmation that our prep courses have now been moved and instead of in July we are now having to wait until the end of August.  I have mixed feelings about this - I know that it is better for us and the VA but I am getting impatient and want to be doing something now.  My DH on the other hand is over the moon as he now thinks 'someone' is watching over us.  When the dates came through 2 of the courses fell on a week which the VA was unsure if DH ship would be in port.  It actually wasn't but when he emailed his boss with the dates she came back to say that the programme had literaly just changed and they are now in port for that work and unless WW£ broke out he could go!!!!!  But even with that i am still a little pesamisitc and as we have now been told that our SW should be in touch with us in July instead of me being estatic I am starting to get nervous that she wont and we will be kept waiting.......

However I am trying to hold on to the fact that the VA have tentatively booked us in for pannel in Jan and that has to be a good sign.........  although saying that somone did try and spoil that little nugget of hope by saying to me that it is probably common practice.  That may well be the case but dont dash my optpmism  

I am off to help out at my goddaughts birthday party this weekend so I am looking forward to playing the good aunty but a little apprehensive as i am finding things like this harder to be part of.  

Anyway enough of my waffling - that is my news - nothing really to report......  

I hope that you have all being enjoying the sunshine and I promise I will pop in more from now on!

Take Care
xxxxxxxx


----------



## MissSunshine

Hi ladies,

It's been long time no speak from me....sorry!!  Been so busy with home study...........Anyway it looks like our panel date is set for August 5th!!     However matching panel will not be until Sept at some point now.......  Just wishing the time till then away.

Hope you're all ok.....

Love Rhonda.
XxX

P.S. Just wanted to share this wonderful news about a very dear FF'er of mine...

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=197805.0


----------



## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Terrific news HFI     

Rhonda great news too, thats fab!

Rachel that's great news too!!!

L456 I share your frustration but its good news about potential panel by Jan though. Fingers crossed.

Hi to everyone else. Sorry I have been AWOL too just had no time. We are still waiting to hear if we are on the prep course next month, we should have heard over 2 weeks ago now and they still haven't had their meeting. Have to say i am so frustrated and feel like we are falling at the first hurdle. 

Jacks x


----------



## panorama

Hi, hope I can join you all  

Just sent off my form to a voluntary agency yesterday after deciding to adopt a few weeks ago. We have been through a lot of IF and heartache if you have a look at my signature and I think the time has come to set off on a new hopefully more positive path, and we are both quite excited although just hoping the journey is not too hard.  

Seems like a lot of SS and agencies round where we live don't seem to be able to adopt under 5 and so far have just come across one agency that can do a sibling group under 5, is this common all round UK? So hoping we can go with them, they seemed nice on the phone. Not sure how long they will take to get back to us for the initial interview, how long did you all wait?

Anyway look forward to getting to know you, been lurking the adoption board for a while and I get very   when I read all your stories. Can't wait to get started although I don't think prep course will be until autumn if the agency accepts us! Everything crossed! 

Alli xx


----------



## Nova

Hello ladies

Well we are now registered with Birmingham city council and just waiting for info pack and date of the meeting, then they give us the our sw. So things are moving now. We decided to go with Brum CC as they seemed to have more SW's and more children to adopt. It's weird but I feel a bit nervous now like things are really going to start to happen... we could be parents in a year's time!!  

Great news HFI! congrates XXX

Hello to everyone else..

Nova XXX


----------



## curvycat

Well 2 weeks now and still waiting for the appliction form! Why oh why are we constantly waiting for news on something?


----------



## jrhh

Hi Alli and welcome!

Nova glad you have started the ball rolling, good luck.

Kirstyn I know what you mean about waiting, my area seem quite useless to be honest, I am seriously considering changing.

Hi to all you lovely adoption virgins out there..

Jacks x


----------



## Iman

Hi everyone,

Im hoping this is the right place to post to say my inital hello!   - we certainly are adoption virgins!

Ive posted a couple of times on this board and in other part of FF as well. umm...dont know what to say to explain how we came to the decision but you can see from our notes below the journey! Anyway this week we had our preliminary interview with agency and are booked for preparation course in 1 months time!! yippee, things finally starting....

Lots to learn - looking forward to chatting and Im sure lots to learn from all the lovely wise people here! any advice gratefully received!

Iman xx


----------



## Nova

Thanks for the welcome!

Well we are booked on to the information meeting which is the first step in Birmingham for next Friday! We are booked to do all the CRB stuff then too. So fingers crossed this is the start of the journey... Have to admit its quite exciting to know that we have made a decision and that we could have a family next year!! Looking forward to getting to know you all!

Nova XXXX


----------



## Chocolate Button

Hi Everyone. No I haven't fallen off the face of the planet!! 
Sorry I have been a rotten FF. Been going through a wee down patch recently. We are waiting patiently to stert the next step of our adoption process, but they just don't seem to be in a hurry to get us started. We were told we should start soon, but we have already been waiting 4 months since our prep groups.  Looks like after the summer now.  Just want ot get going and we are so excited about the process.
Went to Take That last night and am still on a high so it had done me the world of good. I had fantastic seats in main stand directly in frount of stage aaaaaaaaaaarghh. Fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway enough about me. You guys all seem to be doing Really well and we all seem to be as impatient as each other (that makes me feel better). It would take me ages to catch up on personals so I will just leave you all a huge group hug from me.


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Hi everyone - back from the US  Had a lovely break and am now trying to catch up on all the news....

Jaspar - how awful to be told after all you've been through that the agency is not doing any further adoptions - big    I hope you find another agency soon  

Popsi - I hope you are feeling loads better    Get well soon xxxx Sorry to hear your panel date has been rearranged again - 3rd time lucky though sweetheart     

Chocolate Button - congratulations on becoming an auntie. Big   for you too - so sorry to hear you're feeling down sweetie - all this waiting and hoping gets to us all at times - be good to yourself. I know you'll love little Ellie to bits and thing of all those pink things you can buy her! Take That - you lucky girl  

Moppit - well done on getting your forms completed. Those boxes are tiny aren't they! Whoever designed the form obviously has never tried to complete it!!!   That wedding sounds fab - I haven't danced all night for too many years  

Kirstyn - so pleased things are finally moving for you   What an end to 2009 you're going to have - homestudy and wedding, and you'll have finished your prep course by end of the summer   How are all the wedding plans going? 

Rachelbee - Glad homestudy is going well. Wonderful news on a panel date already too - you must be over the moon  

Cath - I hope you're ok   The prep course is hard going at times and stirs up a lot of emotions and questions - take your time and be good to yourselves   

Mavis - dare I ask - any news from your LA on your homestudy? I hope you get confirmation soon sweetie    You've been soooo patient.

Clarity - welcome and   for your losses. I hope your next and last cycle works for you    We did consider adopting from overseas but decided against it as it can cost around £30K and we'd already spent more than that on tx. More importantly it can take around 3 years and countries the UK has agreements with change frequently so you could start the process and find the country changes its agreement with the UK somewhere down the line. We decided to investigate both but after speaking to our LA decided to adopt in the UK. It's worth speaking to a few agencies and people who've adopted locally or from overseas before deciding which direction to pursue (should you need to).

HFI - wooohhoo CONGRATULATIONS!!! So happy for you      Let us know how you get on and keep us posted on your new family   Your news brought a big smile to my face - I hope all goes well for you over the coming weeks. 


L456 - good news on prep course and panel date - even having one pencilled in at this early stage seems very positive news to me hun. 

Rhonda - great news on panel date - August will be here before you know it  

Nova -  I'm sure you'll find the info evening interesting - good luck and well done for taking the first step.

Alli & Iman - welcome and good luck.

Just off to bedf now - finally decided I'm tired - we only got back to the UK last night and I'm still not sure what time zone I'm in  

Night night and enjoy your weekend. Hi to anyone I missed.

Cotswold Girl xx


----------



## curvycat

CG good to see you back.

Hope you had a good holiday.

Our wedding plans are going fine. With it being in Jamaica most gets done over there! keep getting told off from the dress shop though as I am getting bigger not smaller!!!!!! So much for stress related starvation! Opposite happens to me


----------



## mavis

Hi Everyone,

Welcome to Nova, Alli and Iman,

HFI GREAT NEWS : )

CG, Thank you for your message - glad u had a lovely break - hope ur body clock settles soon - phew, (I am whispering - we have an appt fingers crossed it goes ahead)

Love to everyone on here

Carol, hope ur ok.

mavis x


----------



## Losing my grip

Hi All - Just wanted to get in touch with anyone who is at a similar stage to me in the Adoption Process that we may be able to share concerns/worries/advice/support etc etc.
Me & DH are registered with Blackburn and have today had our 2nd of 4 preparation days.
Not yet been allocated a Social Worker but all the team so far seem very nice (& normal!!)
I am very excited at the prospect (and nervous of course) even after discussing topics such as abuse & neglect today. Just makes me more determined to take on an uncared for child and give it the love & guidance needed for a happy life.
My Dh is much more reserved at the moment and remains to be convinced  
Look forward to hearing from you.


----------



## Moppit

Hello Ladies

Havent posted for a while and so much to catch up on and so many lovely new adoption virgins to welcome! Fantastic that there is such a following on our great thread.

Losing my Grip - I am at a very similar stage to you. Completed prep groups in May and now waiting to be allocated an SW before starting the Home Study. I'm very excited too and just desperate to get started but my DH although also excited is more reserved about it. I think he's a glass half empty kind of person and still thinks that we may get rejected or it may take years. I prefer to focus on the positive and believe that we will have a child next year if we are lucky. I think you just have to balance eachother out. Its natural that sometimes one of you will be feeling good about things while the other won't. Anyway I'm very happy to share concerns as we are at such a similar stage and you can PM me if you'd rather not post them on the board.

Welcome to Nova, Ali and Imam - You are in the right place!

Cotswold Girl - Great to hear from you and thanks for all the messages to all of us

As for me well I'm in that limbo stage still. Havent heard anything about being allocated an SW so called them yesterday (its 6 weeks since Prep Groups and they said 8 weeks max so figured it was time to chase a little). The SW I spoke to seemed to be surprised we hadnt had a letter yet which is odd, makes me wonder if it is lost in the post or she is just misinformed. Anyway at least I got to speak to someone and hopefully someone will get back to me. I don't mind waiting too much would just like to know how long its likely to be as its so difficult to plan anything whilst you think the phone might ring and the homestudy might start. Who am I kidding - I hate the waiting but trying to be patient!!!

Love to all

MOppit x


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hey ladies

I know its hard when you waiting to get onto the next step on the adoption ladder however wanted to say when you have a bad day or a down moment have a read of this thread as it will show you IT does happen and you will get there

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=192213.0

xxxx


----------



## curvycat

Feeling for you Moppit! I do think this is such an all consuming process always waiting for the next stage! I really struggle to work or do things for my other half and as for planning a wedding well!!!!!! 

We have finally recieved the application form and so have filled that in today! Any suggestions on what they want us to include in regard to why our home and area is suitable for a child and what services are offered?

It says a brief desciption and so I am wary to put war and peace but I am worried I have missed something obvious! 

Well one day soon this will be worth it for us all!


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hey K-just a quicky as running out to drop DS off at nursery.......

I would pop on the form about things like close to local schools, nursery, GP's, parks, swimming pools ect as well as buses and other public transport ect even if you can drive as well as your home being suitable as you have x amount of bedrooms plus garden ect

xxxx


----------



## Moppit

Hi Kirstyn

I struggled with this question too partly because there is such a small space to write anything. I was told by my SW's that its fine to include additional pages if you would like to although I'm pretty sure they are only looking for a small amount of information as a taster.

I put down the following kind of thing:

Immediate Area/House - The fact that the child/children would have their own bedroom, the fact that we have a garden, the fact that we live on a friendly street with lots of children, the fact that we have a park opposite our house and a primary school within 100m

Wider Area - Playgroups, swimming pools, parks, activity sessions, Local adoption groups (you should find adoption UK has a regional group near you), libraries, schools

Hope this helps!

Moppit x


----------



## SR3

Hi to all - first post in a while but always look to see whats going on.

Moppit & Chocolate Button - we are also in the long wait to start home study.  We finished our prep groups end Feb and are faced with a wait of up to 6 months.  Although we know this it is really starting to get us down.  I  tried calling the LA a few weeks ago just to make sure we hadn't missed anything (you never know right ?).  The lady that I called hasn't even been bothered to respond.  I know how stretched social services are but surely a response isn't too much to ask. 

In the meantime we're trying to do as much as possible for the competency report....lots of reading, spending time with friends children and had a couple of days in a pre-school.

Its really hard to stay positive.  The dream seems even further away right now


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Mavis - so pleased you've got a date for your next visit. Will be keeping everything crossed for you.  

Kirstyn - I'm just as bad...if stressed I eat. I put weight on rather than lost it before I got married! Any excuse to eat me   Good luck with the form.

Losing my grip, Moppit and SR3  - like you we've done our course (well most of it - we were on our hols for last day of the course) and are now waiting to hear when we'll be assigned a social worker. I phoned SS Monday to see how long a wait we might have but as ever I'm still waiting for them to return my call!

CG xx


----------



## jrhh

Hello all the newbies and hi to everyone!

Forgive the run through but I am so busy. I am so frustrated ladies, I still haven't heard  when the preparation course will run and  after being told I would hear 3 weeks ago, maybe 4 I am getting a little frustrated. Would you chase it up again? I have already phoned twice over the previous weeks?

Thanks Ladies and sorry for lack of personals

Jacks x


----------



## Moppit

Sorry we are all feeling frustrated. I was warned that there would be lulls in the process but what I don't understand is that we were told that they are supposed to keep to government guidelines which include time spans between the different stages of the process. According to what I have read there should be no more than 8 months between the submission of the application form and the 1st panel yet many of you on here seem to have waited alot longer than this. Makes me angry, whats the point of them printing guidelines if they don't even try and stick to them. 

As for me well I still have hope that they will stick to what they told us. On our Prep groups they said we could expect to wait up to 8 weeks to be assigned a social worker. It is now 6 weeks so still time for this to happen. I chased on Tuesday and plan to call again tomorrow if I havent heard anything. In my view you should chase as much as you like until you get an answer. I know there is always a fear that you'll annoy the SW but you have a right to at least be given an indication of timelines and it does show you are keen. There is a fine line between keen and pushy but this is so important to all of us that I think its better to act and call then sit at home feeling frustrated.

Moppit x


----------



## curvycat

I know what you mean about chasing Moppit but I think that is because we are in the commercial world!! I know my customers would not accept anything like what we are subject to! 

I constantly have to remind myself that this is not the "real" world where if you defalt on something you promise there are consequences! 

Well I have filled in our application form and my chap is photo copying it today at work before posting it.

Thank you to all that helped. Our brief description of the area ended up being 2 pages long   I should hope that covers it!!! There ended up being 5 extra appendix's!!!!  

Now just to wait till 16th of July and our prep course ...............so excited....................


----------



## popsi

just popping in quickly to say HI to you all xx

The waiting is horrible isnt it.. but good things come to those that wait, so our LO's are going to be so special  

kirstyn.. sorry could not help with the form .. we did not have do to any forms for it, sounds like you have done a great job though x

mavis... you have a date ? c'mon share it with us  , thats wonderful news, hope your feeling better  

moppet... we were told in our prep course (nov) that we would be allocated SW in 2 weeks, but did not get one till December 17th, but then things moved really quickly ... but i would ring them

love to CB, CG, Tiger, jrhh, and all you lovely ladies

as for us we are hopefully (3rd time lucky) going to panel on 7th July, spoke to SW yesterday and all going ahead so far xx


----------



## Moppit

Great news Popsi, fingers crossed all goes ahead smoothly this time.

Kirstyn - You are so right, if we dragged our feet as much as the LAs in the commercial world we would all be out of a job.

Actually musnt complain too much as my LA do actually seem relatively efficient (emphasis on the word relative). I called on Tuesday to chase didnt hear anything then sent another email today to which I got a reply saying that they are making the Social Worker allocation decisions today and tomorrow and we should hear next week. Not going to hold my breath but in this case does look like chasing was a good idea as perhaps it reminded them to focus on it or at least puts me and DH front of mind when they are deciding which couple gets which SW and when. Having said that strongly suspect I am already being labelled as pushy... oh well better than being a shrinking violet! If it does happen next week I will have to credit them with keeping to their word as it will be just under 8 weeks since Prep Groups which is exactly what they promised...

As everyone says... All good things come to those who wait....

Mx


----------



## jrhh

M fingers crossed hun I hope you hear something soon.

Well I think I'm pushy too   I called today and great news we are on the Prep course in Sept woohoo!!!

Popsi fingers crossed hun!

Sorry I am needed by Tom  have to go, love to all

Jacks xxx


----------



## L456

Hey there,

I am sorry to hear that you are having frustrating time of it at the moment. Sending   to you all.

I am still waiting for my DH to come home.  At the moment he is have a ball ahsore and buying lots of useless souviners - it is only 8 more sleeps before he comes home - but it DRAGS so much. 

I had my medical today for the VA and it cost me £85!!!!  I must admit writing the cheque was more painful than the medical    SO that is another step I can cross off my list but I too am waiting for our SW to call to make the first appoinement.  We might know the name of our SW but we have yet to speak with her or meet her yet.

I found out that another old colleague of mine had a baby last week which has dampend my mood a little. It is so hard to think that we will ever get there ourselves.  

Once again sending   to all and I hope we all get to hear the news we are waiting on soon.

xxxx


----------



## Moppit

Morning Lovely Ladies

L456 - Glad it is now only a few days until your hubby is home. Must be horrible having him away. Good news that you have got the medical done but harsh that you have to pay for it.

Jrhh - Great news about the prep groups. Time will fly till then.

Well my positivity feelings of yesterday have turned to sadness again. I met up with my best friend last night. She has not been having periods for months and had an appointment with a Gynaecologist booked but lo and behold she is actually 2 months pregnant. They think she ovulates very intermittantly and was lucky. She told me this just before we were about to go into the theatre and although I am really happy for her, it still hurts so much to know that yet another one of my friends is pregnant and will experience something that I will never have the joy of knowing. I know these feelings should be behind me as we are now firmly on the adoption trail but everytime I find out a close friend is pregnant it sets me back several steps and the pain actually hurts physically. I can't wait to be a Mummy through adoption but I wish it didnt still hurt so much to know that I will never be pregnant.  I know we all struggle with these feelings but has anyone found a good way of managing them. I really struggled last night to try and keep my sadness under wraps and I felt so guilty at not being able to be more excited and overjoyed for her. In the end it did spill out and I ended up having a good cry. I now feel doubley bad, sad still at the feelings of loss I still have and so guilty that a nice bit of news got turned into her comforting me. I know this will make her hold back from telling me more about the pregnancy which makes me feel even more left out than I already do. Its so difficult. Part of me wants to hide away from the people that are pregnant and part of me struggles from realising that I will never be part of the group that can discuss how they feel during pregnancy, giving birth, breast feeding, having a newborn etc.

So sorry for the essay. Just feeling really low and not quite sure how to drag myself out of this. I know I need to convince the Social Workers that I am 'over' the fact that I can't have my own children and most days I am but its days like yesterday that make me realise that I'll never fully get over the loss. Is this normal? Will the SW's pick up on it and question my readiness to adopt?

Moppit x


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Moppit-  xxxx


----------



## curvycat

Big Big   Moppit.

I think it is entirely normal for us to have a gut reaction to someones pregnancy and I would worry more if there was not a reaction.

I know that for me it is not at all logical but it just happens and I just feel. After a while it gets easier and I refocus. I am sure the sw will understand that.

Sending you even more  's


----------



## mavis

Dear Moppit,

I am so sorry.

I think I know how you are feeling.

I also think as kirstyn has said this is completely normal - I feel like this too - I had 3 friends around me late 08 early 09 and pg all at the same time etc.  I found it very hard but found once they had the children it was better as could be more hands on.

What can I say to you?

I dont know - but I wanted to say something - it does really really hurt.  I think really when we get our children the pain will no longer be there - for me the longing to grow children up out of the womb and supporting etc is what it is I crave to be a mum and my dh feels it too - to be a larger family unit going through the ups and downs.  

I did spend time with the pg people but mainly the ones I am close too and maybe not as much as I used to, the best thing is to be open and honest and if you want to be involved tell them that, you are very entiltied to feel sad and I am sure a good friend can understand that - you said yourself you were sad and happy - so bittersweet.  I am crying now.

Everyday you are a step closer, with the tx I never knew if we would get pg and when we did and lost them it was so hard and now no more, I know this is our way and we will get there and so will you.

Keep your chin up you are in very good company and you can cry if you want to -let it out, be angry - this is healthy and normal - you are allowed to feel these feelings.

Take care,

lots of love to you

mavis x


----------



## Camly

hi all

moppit - massive   to you honey.  i know where ur coming form and have felt the same numerous times.  i wanted to let you know that it does get easier, doesnt necessarily stop hurting but its not as bad? hope that makes sense?  my best friend is pregnant with her first child just now and yes its tough when she talks about it moving etc but then i try and think 'least i dont need to give birth and can still have a wee glass of wine throughout the waiting process'?!    its abit like fooling ourselves but i find it does help.  we will all have our family one day soon but just wanted to send u masses of love.

hi to all u lovelies. x x x x x x x x x x


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Moppit - big big   

What you're feeling is normal and I'm sure your friend and Social Worker will understand. You wouldn't be human and good enough to adopt if the desire for a family wasn't as strong as it is, so hang on in there your time will come.   

Eventually the pain you get with news like this does get a little easier to bear but I guess we'll always be a bit sad for the experience we haven't been able to share or have ourselves. 

Big glass of wine and chocolate needed!

Be good to yourself,

CG xxxx


----------



## Fire Opal

Hello Ladies  

Just a little Hello before i go to bed

Fire Opal


----------



## jrhh

Moppit       to you hun. Nothing can prepare us for the pain we feel and the yearning. I know I am so very lucky to have Tom but the pain is still as strong as ever. You will start to feel better just give yourself time and don't worry. The SW will think it completely normal for you to feel like you do hun. Hope you have a glass of wine and a big chocolate bar with you.

Hi CG. Fire Opal, L456, Camly, Mavis, Kirstyn, Tiger, Mavis, CB, Popsi and everyone I've missed.

Off to Blackpool Pleasure Beach tomorrow, I am very excited   

Jacks x


----------



## Moppit

Hello Lovely Ladies

Just a quick one from me to say thank you for all your lovely messages of support. Feeling alot better than I did last week as the news has now sunk in and I'm back focusing on the adoption journey rather than yearning for something that will never be. I think all your advice is fantastic and so good to know that whilst the pain will always be there it does get easier.

What would I do without you all!

Hope you have all enjoyed a VERY sunny weekend!

Moppit x


----------



## jrhh

Moppit thats great to hear hun, well done you      hope you have had a lovely day.

Same goes for all you lovely ladies too.

Had a great day, went to Blackpool did the Pleasure Beach then went for a paddle in the sea it was fab, oh and ice cream of course.  

Love

Jacks x


----------



## mavis

Popsi, not long to go now - GOOD LUCK for panel : )

Moppit, glad ur feeling better.

Jacks, sounded like you had a great time at Blackpool.

Love to you all,

mavis x


----------



## Moppit

Hello Ladies

Time for a mini rant, why oh why do the Social Workers tell you they will call and then not follow through. Had an email last week saying we would hear 'early this week' what social worker we have been allocated. Thursday 2pm and still no phone call. Now sure we won't here this week. I wouldnt mind but they really got my hopes up by saying there would be news early this week... I just wish they realised how difficult the waiting is and how giving false hope of deadlines makes it worse!

Grump, grump

Moppit x


----------



## L456

Hey all,

Just a quickie so sorry for not many personals (i am at work - naughty naughty  )

Moppit - I know how you feel - we were told that we would hear from our sw to arrange our first homestudy date in July - to take advantage of my DH being home.

Well my DH is home tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Whoop WHoop        (Roll on 10am tomorrow)

But still nothing from SW       

I was really hoping for somthing by now.  

Hope everyone is ok.
xx


----------



## mavis

L456, I would give sw a call - let them knwo dh is back and say that they said theyd hoped to come out and see you when dh is back and he is and will it be possible?  

Moppit, Sorry hun, know the feeling - I would give them a quick call seeing if there was any news yet as they said they'd be in touch, if they havent kept to what they said I am sure they would not mind a little chase.

Good Luck both,

Any news CG?

Hello Fire Opal - great name - I love them : )

mavis x


----------



## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Moppit have you given them a call? is there any news? Its so frustrating isn't it. Is no wonder there is a huge demand for older children when it takes them so long to do anything  

L456 I would call too, a gentle reminder won't hurt, Yippee for dh to be home, enjoy your time together.

Popsi when is the panel again?

Hi to Fire Opal, CG, CB, Mavis, Calmy, Kirstyn, Tiger and anyone I've missed.
Well we got confirmation for our Prep Course for 2nd week in Sept so I feel like things are finally moving forward. I know we have a very long way to go but at least we have dates now  

Sleep well ladies.

Jacks x


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Hi just a quick post as off out in a minute. 

Moppit - really sympathise we were told we'd be assigned a SW next week and had email yesterday to say it won't be til w/c 13 July now and that this won't mean they'd be able to start immediately. Lucky we had an email really! 

L456 - pleased your DH is back with you   Give SS a ring on Monday. Good luck and have a great weekend/few days with your DH.

Mavis - I've pm'd you  

Jacks - great news on getting your prep course date - it's a great feeling isn't it to feel like you're on your way! 

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

CG xx


----------



## popsi

hi

just a quick post as off to a wedding today   really looking forward to it

just wanted to update you all we have panel on Tuesday   

sending love and positive thoughts to you all i will post more soon xxxxx


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

Hope you are all okay

I decided not to go to the fertility friends meet up this weekend in Evesham even though its only 15 minutes away from us. But last year it was really good. So will probably go next year and so hopefully we will have more info about the adoption process.  

I was wondering if any of you would like to meet up as it would be good to talk about our experiences in person and put a face to the usernames. Don't know what do you think. I don't mind travelling.

Well after going to the information meeting, we was told that we would have some contact from a social worker within 4 weeks. That is up next wednesday so yesterday I chased it up, and I am still waiting. It must be sign of things to come - the long long waiting game.

Anyway gonna go now, my back is hurting as we have been trying to level our back garden - had a steep slope. Now is looking good but still a long way to go.

See Ya

Sonia xx


----------



## Rachelbee

Hi guys,

Just a quick hello from me! DH had his one to one interview with our sw on wed which he was really pleased with, I have mine saturday! Seems to be all systems go which is great but I am beginning to feel slightly terrified now!! I think the realitly is sinking in-lol!!

HOpe everyone is well!
xx


----------



## Moppit

Good Morning Lovely Ladies

No news from me which is frustrating, so much for hearing from them last week! I spoke to Adoption Duty this morning and they did at least call me back shortly afterwards having spoken to their manager with the news that we should hear by the end of the week. I'm not going to hold my breath though after the promised made over a week ago that never materialised. Out of interest once you've been allocated a social worker does it tend to be a long wait until you actually have your first Home Study interview? 

Cotswold Girl - Looks like we are both playing the waiting game. Hope they stick to their w/c 13th July deadline. Did they give you an indication of the delay before starting the Home Study?

L456 - How are you doing? Any news from your end. Definately call if you havent already, I just felt better actually doing something even if I don't trust what they say on timings being told the end of the week will stop my worrying about it again until then!

Love to all

Moppit x


----------



## doodles4

Hello ladies, just been reading all your recent posts and wonder if I can join your group of chatter.  I'm from the Scottish Borders - any others from Scotland?  Over the past 5 years hubby & I have been through various forms of ICSI with varying results - none good.  We sadly lost twin boys in April 2005 which has had a huge impact on our lives since.  Our free IVFs finished in January of this year with a failed attempt and we always said we'd draw the line after that and look into adoption.

After going round the various local authorities we are now on the books of the Scottish Adoption Association in Edinburgh and start our prep groups in January 2010 - seems ages away but at least we've got a date to aim for now and we are feeling very positive.  I look forward to sharing our experiences with you all.

I'd just like to sympathise with you Moppit about your friends pregnancy - I know exactly how you are feeling and it is completely normal for ladies in our situation.  My best friend has recently given birth (she always said she'd never get married or have kids!!)  and that means all our friends now have kids.  DH and I are feeling increasingly isolated from them all and it makes the empty feeling inside us worse but we are so happy we now having something to look forward to.  We will always have bad days and a good cry is the best thing for it.

Take care everyone, speak soon.  Dx


----------



## Rachelbee

Hi Moppit

We had our 1st meeting with our SW on 11th may and started our HS about 3 weeks later, this was because she was on holiday otherwise would have been sooner! Our HS is going really fast, seeing her weekends and evenings! Hope yours starts soon and goes as quickly for you xx


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## Shoe Queen

Hello ladies

I just wanted to say hello, I am still reading every week but having a hard time keeping up - life has been pretty hectic for us recently - our prep course finished last week and I have to admit I was struggling with it to be honest, still not sure if I will cope with everything.  There is a delay with our Social Worker so we dont start our homestudy until August/September which I am fine about, the last few weeks have been stressful so am glad for a few month break before starting.  I have been a useless poster I know but I am still thinking about all of you and am following your journeys!  We have received some news also about our daughter, she is quite poorly at the moment so her health issues have been keeping us busy too.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Cath x


----------



## L456

Good morning everyone

Welcome Doodles4  

Tiger - Hope your daughter gets better soon

Hi to Moppit, Mavis, Rachealbee, CG, Sonia, Jrhh and anyone else who I might have missed -  I hope that you are keeping well.

DH is now home - the homecoming was fantastic, we had a royal marine band who played when the ship came in.  My DH was standing outside but I could not see him until he came right to the front.  They all look the same at a distance!!!!

Well we took your advice and DH phoned the agency to let them know that he had arrived safely and that he was now home for 2 weeks before he headed out again for a week.  He was told that our SW was away and that they will leave a message to inform her.

Of course now that sent me on a downward spiral as all I could think about was that another week wasted then if she does not get in contact next week it will be nearly August before we see her.  We are on such a tight schedule as you know DH is due to go on antother 7 month deployment early next year and I just cant see us getting our home study finished in time.  DH is trying to be optomistic but that is his job    I am forever pesamistic and he is the eternal optamist!

However it hit me quite hard also as we received more photos of our Nephew - which all in all was lovely to see - but it was the 'family' shots which got to me.  I just cant see it every being us.............  

Sorry to be on a downer today!  I was so trying to be posative but as i started to type it all just came out -  I think that is why this site is so good.  I promise to try harder  

I hope you are not experiencing too much rain.
xx


----------



## Moppit

L456 - Sending you    from London. Really feel for you, it is hard enough to have to wait when you are flexible on timing let alone when you have the situation you are in with your DH being deployed early next year. Try not to get too down, keep focused on the fact that no matter what you will be a Mummy and Daddy one day and when it happens it will be even more sweet for you than the birth of your nephew was for your family because you have waited so long and wanted it so much. Keep on chasing the SW's and reminding them that you have to get the HS done by the time your DH leaves. I believe that they can book you in for panel long before the HS is complete which should mean it can be timed so that you don't miss it before he goes. Enjoy having your DH back, let him support you and make you feel better. I promise, hand on heart that you will get there in the end like we all will.

Mx


----------



## popsi

Hi Ladies

Well for those of you that dont already know, we have been approved for one child age 0-3 years with the possibility of siblings at a later date.

I burst into tears and hugged our social worker then she was almost in tears, it was a fantastic feeling

Champers is open now, before we go out later

Thank you all for your help and support, I will be needing it also on our wait for matching

Love you all so much 

xxxxxx


----------



## Moppit

This is amazing news!!! I am soooo happy for you. Massive congratulations, you are definately on your way and now very very close to becoming a Mummy! Enjoy the champagne! Moppit x


----------



## Rachelbee

Popsi, what fantastic news, congratulations! x


----------



## Tarango

Congratulations popsi    

I hope your wait is a short one xxx


----------



## L456

Congrats Popsi    

That is just fantastic news!!!  lots of   that your wait for a little one is short.


Moppit - thanks so much for your post.  I read it earlier at work and it brought a tear to my eye!  Note to self - dont read FF posts at work  
I am feeling in a better mood tonight and have decided that if we have not heard anything by Tue next week then I will call SW again and just ask for a rough time when to expect to meet/speak with her.

Hope you all have a great evening
 to all
x


----------



## Camly

brilliant news popsi!! many congrats    x x x x


----------



## jrhh

Popsi that's the best news!!!!!!

Cath just post whenever you fel hun, we are here for you, I know you are having a rough time at the mo so        

Moppit hope you hear something soon.

L456 glad your feeling a little more positive now. Its OK to feel sad its such a hard journey.

RachelBee hope the meets go well! I bet you are nervous.

Welcome Doodles4

Hi to everyone else and hope you are all OK.

I met with my friend who fosters and she is currently looking after a 4 month old baby, he was adorable and I could have swept him up in my arms and taken him home. How can people just not want them in their lives and we are trying so hard. It all seems so unfair hey.

Jacks x


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Sonia - we were trying to sort a date out for meeting up some time ago but struggled to get a day that suited everyone. Might be worth starting a thread on it to see if we can all meet up. Have you heard anything?

Popsi - CONGRATULATIONS!!! It must be great to get the official seal of approval   Keep us posted on how you get on - I hope you don't have to wait long for a match. You're officially a mum in waiting now  

L456 - big   Hang in there, it will be you and your DH sending those family snaps out one day.    Sorry you've been given the run around. Is it worth trying the team manager and explaining you position to see if someone else can come out and see you while your DH is home? Just a thought. 

Cath - I hope your daughter is better soon, Take care    You know where we are. 

Rachelbee - good luck with your 1-2-1! 

Moppit - no idea yet how long we'll have to wait before we can start the homestudy. I think (ok hope) they're planning to give us some timescales next week. I hope you hear something soon.

Doodles - welcome and good luck. Do you have to do the prep course before you start the homestudy? 


CGxx


----------



## Moppit

Feeling very fed up today. Yet another friend has announced they are pregnant, feel like I am surrounded by bumps whereever I turn and yet nothing seems to be happening to get us nearer to being parents. I know I need to be patient but I'm really struggling. I just want to feel that we are moving forward with something and right now being a Mum seems like a very distant dream. I can't call the Social Workers again since they said 'by the end of this week' on Monday but I'm convinced the phone isnt going to ring. I hate this feeling that nothing is in our control and we are at the mercy of a process and of someone finding the time to get in touch. Not sure how I am going to survive this whole thing if I'm already down after waiting right at the beginning of the process. 

Ugh
Moppit x


----------



## L456

Hey

First of all I just want to apologise for no personals - at the moment I am so very upset and very close to breaking and need to vent and let of steam to those who may understand before I implode.

DH has just come home from work to tell me that his weeks leaves has been cancelled next week as they are having to go back to sea!!!!!!!!  So now we have 2 weeks less of July for SW to visit.  I feel I cant do this anymore, everytime I try and get my hopes up that we might be getting somewhere they are dashed.  

I knew this process would be a rollercoaster and was under no illusions that it would not be easy, but I just did not think it would be the Navy that would be the one thing that would be the sticking point.  I just cant see us being able to complete the homestudy before he leaves next year.  I just can not see an end to this and the start of us being a family.  I was prepared for the fact that we would not be matched with a child until he was shorebased (oct 2010) and the wait just did not matter.  But to think that it could be then before we can even finish the homestudy just fills me with disspare.

I know I am probably over reacting and everything will come out in the wash ok, but at this precise moment in time as i type this I just cant feel/see it.  Its not fair!!!!!!  I just want to be a mum....... is that too much to ask............

xx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Hi L

I know how hard it is when your DH is in the Navy- my DH is now Ex Navy and i found it hard just TTC when he was in.

At the moment you cant see things being good and your dream coming true however it will, i honestly never thought i would ever have children even when we got approved for adoption, i have no clue why i thought this however i now have 2 fantastic children, it took us 10yrs to get there but we did

Just focus on the things you can do while he is away like read books and highlight bits for him to read ect.

Oh and enjoy life
xxxx


----------



## jrhh

Moppit     a friend of mine announced her pg a couple of days ago and another friend is due in Oct and another has just had a baby, its so hard not to feel angry, of course then its the guilt that you aren't happy for them and it goes on. Hang on in there hun your turn will come. Stay strong and we are here for you.

L456 same to you    can you call your SW and discuss whats happening and what your options are. Staying focussed and taking some control again will help you to make sense of it, oh and a big bottle of wine and some chocolate  

MJ its so good to read your post, its ones like that which keep us going. Thanks so much.

Jacks x


----------



## L456

Good morning everyone

Sending     to everyone.  Just wanted to say thank you all for puting some perspective on the situation.  This site is fab for this  

Today my DH and I have a plan of sorts and fingers crossed the SW will go for it.  DH is going to ring them and ask if we can meet tomorrow (i text my boss last night and I can have the afternoon off if need be) and he is going to ask his boss whether to have monday off if we have a meeting then (they go to sea tue).  If SW can not do that then we will ask for her to give us a date so DH can get his superiors to comitt for him to have the day off - at sea or not.

We are both going to try and get all the day off if we dont get a meeting so we can take a day out somewhere and just spend it together - probably by the beach...........

It does feel better when you try and get some control back.  I am still feeling down though - an old friend announced she was pregnant last night!  However I am determined to work hard for it not to consume me.

Moppit -  How are you doing??  Thinking off you

Cath - how is your daughter?  is she better?

Sorry if I missed anyone...... 

Take care - I will let you know how it goes with the SW
xxx


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## Rachelbee

L456-  Good luck hun, I hope you manage to get a your meeting sorted out! We waited an awfully long time to start this process, firstly due to my weight, which I accept was not their fault, but I got the weight off that I needed to and still we waited and waited for news! Our LA was very busy with a huge influx of children who needed to be dealt with before us, finally we met our SW on 11th May and things have really been quite speedy since then! I'm only telling you this to give you some hope that the wait will be worth it because it will happen and when it does I think you'll be surprised at how quickly it seems to go, we certainly are! A friend said to me it shouldn't matter how long it takes because your child is out there waiting to come home, she's right and every day of waiting is a day closer to you being a mummy!
It is hard, it's frustrating but it WILL be worth it.


----------



## L456

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH

All your     and advice has worked a treat.  

My DH rang the VA this morning and spoke to our SW of the ships change of plans and asked if there was any chance of meeting with her. She stated that she was very busy and that due to the constant changes it might be best if we changed SW.  She said she would check with the boss and get back to us either way.  Then this afternoon i got a phonecall at work and it was our new SW!!!  We now have a meeting fixed for next Monday at 2.30pm!!!!  Just hope the SW has experience with the forces...........

My work has given me tomorrow off to spend time with DH and time off for the meeting on Mon and DH ship has given all day off tomorrow and also all day mon (ship leaves tue).  So I am much happier than I was this time yesterday.  About to celerbrate by eating home made ginger cake and custard!!  I know how to live  

Hope everyone is ok.  Moppit - how are you doing?

Take Care
xxx


----------



## jrhh

L OOOOOOOOOH homemade ginger cake and custard that sounds heaven. Please could I have some      great news on the SW I am so pleased. Onwards and upwards hey!!

Moppit how are you feeling hun       just in case.

Love to all

Jacks x


----------



## Cotswold Girl

L456 - that's fantastic news   I'd like to put an order in for that ginger cake too - love it! Enjoy your long weekend with your DH and let us know how you get on Monday. Sounds a really good sign too that they were prepared to give you a new SW  

Moppit - I hope you get good news too tomorrow     

MJ - thanks for reminding us that the wait and frustrations along the way are worth it.

CG xxxx


----------



## Moppit

L456 - Fantastic news! So glad that your VA are pulling out the stops and have been flexible enough to get you a different SW. So important that they make things work for you with your DH being away. I admire you both so much, this is hard enough to go through when you are both in one place let alone when one of you is away. I look forward to hearing about the meeting when its taken place, very exciting that you are now firmly on your way.

Rachelbee - Thanks for your words, you are right it will be worth waiting for I just wish I could get some patience from somewhere.

CG - Thanks for all your messages and hugs. Massively appreciated.

Mavis - Thanks for your PM really sweet of you and will reply over the weekend.

Still no news from the SW's. I predicted this but I just don't understand why they keep setting false expectations. Why don't they just say that they don't know when allocations are going to be made rather than setting a false deadline every week which when it fails gets me down. Question is do I call again today and find out whats happening or wait until Monday. They said when I called on Monday morning that we would hear 'by the end of this week' and although I know its possible the phone will ring this afternoon I highly doubt it. Itching to call again but very worried that I am getting a reputation for being annoyingly persistant...

What do you think?

Moppit x


----------



## Moppit

Just a quick one to say that I ended up emailing the Adoption Duty and got one straight back to say that allocations have happened and giving us the name of our SW. Sooo relieved and happy to hear the news that finally things are moving. Apparently she'll be in touch early next week to set dates. I am sure they think I am very annoying for chasing so many times but I don't care, at least I can have a nice weekend without thinking about it all the time! Also happy because we have met the SW before and she seemed really nice and enthusiastic so think we have been lucky.

Have lovely weekends virgins and thanks for keeping me sane over the last couple of weeks!

Mx


----------



## Rachelbee

Great news Moppit, Things are looking up!!


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Moppit - that's great news! Enjoy your weekend  

CG xxx


----------



## Nova

Hi everyone,

Well we went for our initial meeting last Friday and we booked in to do the CRB checks straight after. We are now on the way!! Quite excited actually that we have really started it all... We were told once the CRBs have cleared we will get a home visit. The SW did say they were booking people in for the prep course for Nov now, so don't think we will get on that till next year unless we get a cancellation. However, this waiting is different, different to TX waiting. i suppose its cos with TX the outcome was always in doubt but with this at the end I will be a mummy....     so I will wait and it will happen...

L456 - Hi I hope you dont mind me saying hello. I have been reading your posts and just wanted to say Wow! My DH was in the RAF and we made the decision a few years ago for him to leave and for us to make roots. So I know how hard it is especially when they go away for months on end. I think the worst for me was the unable to plan at times because he would get cancelled leave and off he went... So big loves to you, hang in there and well done for hassling the SW it difficult enough being married to the forces! I hope your new SW understands your issues XXX Good luck for Monday!

Moppit - well done on getting some news... I think its worse when someone gives you deadlines, it makes you fix on them.... Enjoy your weekend now!

Well i'm off to see my little nephew and give him his birthday present. I got him a train with a trailer as he has started to walk! He is only 1! But i'm away for his birthday so giving it to him early.... 

Have a good wkend!

NovaXXXX


----------



## Rachelbee

Well, I was meant to have my one to one with our SW today followed by a 2 hour HS session with hubby too and our SW cancelled!! Shame as was hoping to make some real progress today! She is coming wed pm so hope she makes it!!


----------



## L456

Afternoon everyone!

Moppit - Fantastic news about your SW!!  I have been thinking of you.....

Nova - It is hard that we can not plan anything and I dont think I will ever get used to the sudden change in ships programme at the last minute.  The worst is when they go silent and I have no idea where they are or when they will be home.  Thankfully he is due to leave his ship end of next year and is due a shorebased job for a few years.  In fact we have been told by our VA that he must have a shorebased job before they will consider placing any children with us.  We are now hoping that the Navy will play ball and give him priority for his next draft.

Today we have been cleaing the house from top to bottom - in fact we even did behind the cooker and fridge!!  in readiness for our SW visit tomorrow.  I know she wont be looking behind there but it made me feel better.  Even the dogs are going to get a bath and blow dry for tomorrow  

We are now filling in our CRB forms, forms for each of the dogs, our official application form and expenses form.  We were told not to worry about all of them for tomorrow but we are the type of people that need to have things prepared.  I am getting nervous about tomorrow now and really hoping by 2 'babies' be on their best behaviour tomorrow.  They can often lick people to death!!!

Hope you are all having a good weekend.  Will let you know how it all goes tomorrow.
xx


----------



## Nova

l456- Good luck for tomorrow!! I read that we might have to have some kind of vet form for our dogs... It seems mad to think even the dogs have to be analyisised!! this will probably be after the first home visit. Our problem is they are big dogs but they are as soft as butter! The oldest one gets quite excited when people come to visit, so we have been really working on this, but are a little worried that she might jump at the sw! After a little bit she is not bothered at all and is just normal with people. I just hope it doesnt put them off us... 

Anyway good luck for tomorrow!! I am sure the SW won't be looking behind the cooker!! if she does, i might have bigger problems than the dogs....   

Nova XX


----------



## Nova

Popsi - thanks for that.. We do have a stair gate that we used to put up on the stairs when they were puppies to stop them going upstairs. We were thinking of putting it on the kitchen so the SW could  see them. I think we have been soft on our babies, they sit on the sofa with us too... Like yoou say we know our dogs and they would never hurt anyone, but we never leave them alone with children. XXXX
Nova XX


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Hi Ladies

As a "doggie" owner i know it seems made to think your "pet" needs assessing however due to deaths of children in the news due to dog attacks SS have to show they have checked your dog(as best they can) is a friendly dog who wouldnt harm a child.

My dog is very hyper - he thinks he is a pup even though he is 7(ish) and our SW had a dog herself so knew that our dog was no probs- TBH i think our dog helped our 2 settle quicker as they love him to pieces

xxxx


----------



## Moppit

Loving all the doggie chat - wish I had a pet! Have been trying to persaude DH that a dog would help a child to settle in so posts here add weight to my argument - thankyou!!!

Question for all of you: Have just had an email from our SW asking if we would like to sign up to some 'additional' training on attachment being run by the consortium which our LA is a member of. Its on a work day and my DH is already struggling with the amount of time off he can get for the Home Study so is worried that he can't commit to another day. She didnt say it was compulsory but we are both worried that it will look bad if he doesnt commit so early on in our Home Study. I can go as my work are more flexible. Do you think it will look bad if my DH declines and I either go alone or suggest taking a family member who would also benefit from understanding more about attachment.

Thoughts from the expert virgins please!

Mx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Hi M

I would say to your SW that your happy to go however due to work commitments your DH is unable to get that time off howewer could you bring a family member with you to help them learn with you and support you- this will also aid for your support network

xxx


----------



## L456

Hey there,

Once again I am being naughty and logging onto this site whilst at work  

Well our 2 'fury'babies have had their baths and have been blow dried. They have been walked too.  We have decided that we would not put the stair gate anywhere else (ours is at the bottom of the stairs as they are not allowed up there during the day) and let them be how they are normally.  They are usually good and just want to fuss but if we tell them not to go on the furniture they are usual obiedient (we will see  )  I think it is important that our SW sees how they react to commands etc as they do have a general free reign of house and that would not change.  However what I will say is that they would not allowd into little ones bedroom or be left alone with them - that goes without saying.

Moppitt - we have also done extra bits outside of our prep-groups.  However (I say We) my DH has been away at sea so he has not done any of the parenting classes. But he is able to go on a child first aid course next week and our VA seemed happy with that we are making the effort even though it was only one of us.

SO I definately think that if you explain to your SW that your DH can not do it due to work commitments they will be fine.  It certaintly should not go against you.

I am sooooooooooo nervous now!  Only 2 hours to go!!

xx


----------



## Moppit

Thanks for the advice girls. I knew I could rely on you!

L456 - Masses of luck. You are very well prepared and I know everything will go really well. Make sure you let us all know how it went.

By the way I think last week someone mentioned a get together. We did try this before and failed but I'd be really up for meeting up with other virgins. Perhaps we should do it according to where people live and have a few smaller meet ups so that it has more chance of it happening. I'm in London if anyone else is in that area.

Mx


----------



## Rachelbee

Ahhh to be home on a monday is a treat for me!!
I was wondering about the doggy assesment, our SW has asked a few questions about him and has seen for herself how soppy he is and he has more than proved the only person he is a danger to is himself, he's a 4 year old hyper labrador and to put it as kindly as possible probably not the most intelligent of his litter! On our SW's 1st visit we gave him a rawhide chew to occupy him, he proceeded to 'bury' it against the skirting board and cover it by using his nose with apparently invisible soil!! SO as I said, too stoopid to be a danger to anyone! She did say tho that she would have to take him for a walk......... is this normal? Assuming it's just to see how re acts to strangers out of his own territiry!

Also as far as a meet up, I'd be interested, I am on the Dorset/Somerset boarder!


----------



## L456

Hi all,

I hope your days have been ok.

Well our meeting went ok with our SW.  Was here for over 2 hours and it was full of form filling and checking of ID and such like.  The dogs were wonderful and were very much on their best behaviour.  She was very pleased with the amount of work that we have done already but even though they are still pushing fpr pannel before DH leaves next year, it is begining to look unlikly due to trying to fit in all the meetings and one to one sessions needed.

BUT we will remain posative and we have another meeting in 2/3 weeks time (when DH is back from sea) and we have some work to do in the meantime to keep our minds active and try and make us feel like we are progresing.  We need to do a family tree and something else I cant remember  

She is very nice and I am hoping that we will work together ok... only time will tell I suppose  

As for meeting up - that sounds good - I am north hampshire so pretty central to most places.

xx


----------



## curvycat

Hi all

Sorry not been on for a while but things been really stressful what with work, wedding, back pain, trying to lose weight and ..... what have I almost forgot.... oh yes ADOPTING!!! 

Start prep this week, have filled in aplication form, referees have recieved paper work and I am just filled with nerves!


----------



## Moppit

L456 - So pleased first meeting went well. Keep positive about panel, I think you'll get there in time and if you don't then it still isnt going to stop you beign a Mummy in the end and thats the important thing!

Things moving with me too. Having heard about SW allocation on Friday she called today and we have arranged first meeting for Monday 27th of July. Would have been next week but I'll be away sunning myself with my girlfriends in Portugal. So keen to get started almost considered cancelling but then thought that actually recharging my batteries before launching in to the HS is probably just what I need.

Curvy Cat - Good luck with Preps. Let us know how they go.

Mx


----------



## MissSunshine

Hi you gorgeous virgins........ 

Hope you're all well. Sorry I've not really posted much, I've been more of a lurker....  I do check in often though to see how you're all getting on.XxX

Well we have our 2nd opinion visit on Monday, and hopefully our SW will also be bringing our PAR form for us to read!!! So excited!  
Panel is 3weeks tomorrow......hoping that time goes quickly. Got a few things to keep me busy from now till then, so thats good....don't know what I'm going to do until Matching panel though....probably go slowly crazy!  

Love to you all,
Rhonda.XxX


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Hi everyone - well it's finally happened....we have a Social Worker   Got a call last night asking when we could start our homestudy   First visit planned in for 29 July so not long to wait - could have started earlier but DH away with work next week so went for first available slot after that. Have even been given a target timescale of December for completing our report!

We're on our way at last   Soooo excited!

CG xxxx


----------



## L456

Good Morning one and all  

Rhonda - Fantstic news - please keep us informed as to how it goes, will be having everything crossed for you!

Curvycat - hows the prep courses going

CG - What brilliant news - role on the 29th !!!!!

Moppitt - and the same to you - role on the 27th  !!!!!

It is fab that there are so many of us going through the journey together.  Our next meeting is on 3rd of August - so we will be having our meetings around the same time!  

Right best I get on (i am at work - being naughty again!)

Take care
xx


----------



## Moppit

CG - So pleased to log on and find out that you too have had the news about your SW and first home study visit. We are at exactly the same stage so will be able to do our Home Study journeys together!

Rhonda - You are almost there! Well done. Let us know how it goes.

L456 - Things moving quickly for you too...

All good news for the virgins at last - hurrah!

Did we get anywhere with the idea of a meet up?

Mx


----------



## Moppit

Morning Lovely Ladies

I've posted on this topic before but wondered if you all have any thoughts or insights about trying to get your parents more positive about adoption. As we are now close to starting the Home Study which will involve them being interviewed as referees I'm getting more concerned (and upset) by the fact that my parents seem to be very negative about adoption and refuse to get informed because they find the information so upsetting. They rarely ask me how things are going and its always me that brings it up on phone calls or visits. Its almost as if they would rather ignore the fact it is happening rather than face up to the fact that we will need their support as parents and grandparents. I need them to acknowledge the fact that this is going to be a different experience to the one they envisaged as grandparents and feel they should get informed on the potential issues however distressing. I'm not sure how to deal with this and it is really upsetting me, I already feel guilty and sad that I havent been able to give them natural grandchildren and their comments and behaviour do nothing to make me feel differently.

How have the rest of you dealt with your parents and their feelings about adoption? Have you tried to get them involved or encouraged them to be knowledgable about the children's issues or left them to it. What preperation did you get them to do ahead of the referee interviews - I'm particularly concerned that their fears around the children and lack of acceptance might be seen as a major negative in the process.

To give some context copied below is some text from an email my parents sent me today in response to a question I asked about a book I sent them on being grandparents through adoption. I gave it to them over 6 months ago and they have never mentioned it so thought I'd ask if they had read it.

_We have both read the book and found it difficult and rather distressing because it only seemed to concern much older children than we thought you were expecting to adopt. Indeed the book only dwelled on problems rather than the expected joys of being grandparents and we found this daunting. We were particularly surprised that the birth grandparents remained in contact in some cases. Are you envisaging this? Obviously could be very difficult but we would, of course, manage. _

_At the moment we do not want to read anything more as we feel becoming grandparents is a natural and happy learning process in any situation. Our role models will be our respective parents and grandparents but ,of course,we will willingly accept advice in the light of any particular problems that are present or develop._

Your advice is much appreciated as always virgins!

Moppit x


----------



## mavis

Moppit,

Have sent you a pm.

x


----------



## mavis

Moppit your inbox is full pm cant get thru x


----------



## Moppit

Will delete some now xxxx


----------



## mavis

Moppit, it says your box is still full, I just got to go out - so will try again later x


----------



## curvycat

Hi all 

Moppit I think that they are very common in not wanting to or being able to recognise that children who have been adopted need different parenting strategies.

My parents are similar and I have decided to back off a little and instead just drip feed them tit bits of information without them becoming over whelmed! 

I do think we need to recognise that adoption is our decision and maybe not the decision they would have made. I have told my mum and dad that things will move slowly with them and that there relationship with our child will be able to grow slowly and at a pace that we are all comfortable with. Mine needed reasurance that I would not be dumping the children with them! 

I am also having to work with all of my support network regarding the "children are children" attitude! Again I think that this is something that they will learn to appreciate slowly.

One thing that I hope will help for my family is a support network meeting that our VA hold. Do yours do anything like this? I hope that hearing things from someone other than there daughter will make things easier. 

I do understand and send you a big


----------



## jrhh

Hi all,

Moppit I just wanted to send you a big  . My dh's mum is very much the same and its so hard to deal with.

Hi to everyone else. Sorry I have been awol just struggling a little with the good old emotions at the mo.

Jacks x


----------



## Nova

Hi All,

Moppit - they might surprise you when they are interviewed, if they feel a grandchild is a grandchild maybe they will just do what they always thought they would. Maybe the idea of older children scares them, but when the time comes I am sure they will love the child, because you do, and they obviously love you.... xxx

I've been away this week on a residential with school. On the way on Monday I got a missed call, when i got time to listen to the message it was a lady introducing herself as a sw! She wants to come and do the come visit! Well we didn't think it would be this soon... She wanted to come yesterday, but I was away all week. So she is coming out on Thursday 23 rd July in the morning.  So DH has been busy tidying up while i have been away.. bless him... He has put the gate up in the kitchen for the dogs.. 

Re: dogs, I was a little concerned about the comment from someone (sorry can't remember who) that their Sw said she would have to walk the dog!   My furbabies are pretty strong and love the park so much you have to be really strict with them as they pull if you aren't! Now I have an image of a sw flying through the air holding on to the two dogs!!      Really hope she wont want to walk them on her own.... 
I read somewhere that you have to get your vet to sign something if you have 2 or more dogs... Is this correct? Is it just to say they have had their jabs?

Sending lots of       to all the virgins!! xxxx

Nova


----------



## popsi

Nova 

Great news on the SW .. well done x

With regards to walking the dogs, I have NEVER heard that at all ! ours certainly did not, she just accepted her as part of the family.

With regards to the vet, I am not sure as we only have one, but she said if we had a certain breed dog (i.e. german sheppard etc) they may need a report, but not for the majority of dogs

x


----------



## curvycat

Well half way through prep training now and absolutely loving it!! 

I thought that I had loads of experience with children and had done a decent job of caring in the past but I now realise just how much I didnt know  

My other half is on his stag this weekend and he had better be back on form for tommorow!!!  

Hope you are all having a good weekend x


----------



## Suzie

Sorry just popping in  

Moppit - Your parents may surprise you  Mine know C's background but only the main bits and arent really interested in knowing any more, as far as they are concerned they are his nan and grandad and thats all that matters  
Sometimes people would rather not know the in's and out's and just get on with spoiling their new grandchild  
The contact with BF is a difficult one for most family members to get their heads around. I would just tell them that contact is entirely up to you as you have full parental responsibility and if it isnt benefiting anyone then you dont have to do it.
When there is actually a little one in your lives then it is completely different than them reading about adopted children and I am sure they will be ok 
I hope the interview goes well with them 

Ummm about sw taking dogs for a walk! I have 2 cats and a dog and I have never heard of a sw taking a dog for a walk! If they tried to walk my puppy they would be in for a surprise as he is a spaniel and mad as a hatter!  

xx


----------



## Rachelbee

Nova- It was me, our SW says she will be taking the dog for a walk (providing it's not raining!!) I'm dreading it, he's a very nice temprement but has issues with other dogs when on the lead at times we have a halty for him which helps but he was a rescue and seems he has never been on a lead before coming to us! We are planning on the normal walk with him which is 2 mins on the lead then the freedom of the field to race around in! she's doing it 12 aug....... I'm hoping for rain!!


----------



## Nova

Rachelbee- I hope it rains for you!! i can't think of anything worse than someone else trying to walk our babies!! My dad is the only other person who does! Fingers crossed she doesnt want to do that... If she does then we will have to walk them and she can come with us... otherwise it could be a very short adoption journey!!!    

Nova


----------



## Rachelbee

I know, our dog always behaves differently for ither people, I wouldn't allow her to go on her own with him, as a rescue it took a long time for him to get used to us and new commands etc so she won't be going on her own!!


A new question, on the finacial stuff do they want to look at bank statements or jsut written break down from us?
Am trying to do my homework I start a new job tomorrow an will be working long hours mon to fri so I'm trying to catch up on paper work today!


----------



## popsi

rachel.. I think all areas vary on what the want to see.. all we had to do was put a brief breakdown of our outgoings i.e. mortgate, council tax, loans etc... we had to show a mortgage statement to prove we owned the house and we had to produce pay slips, nothing else, but I know othes have had to do a lot more than this xx its not a test to see how much money you have its to see if you need any financial help (thats what we were told) xx


----------



## Rachelbee

Thanks Popsi, well will find everything I think they will need, be prepared and all that!!


----------



## popsi

yes rachel i dont blame you, i like to be prepared too, and if they dont need it well so be it


----------



## Fire Opal

Hello ladies.

not been on here much but have been reading posts about the dogs thing, we have 2 dogs, i'm trying to stop them jumping up so much as it does put people off.

Rachel, i'm same as you want to gen up on it all for our meeting in aug.  

The only thing i'm worried about is hubby, he's just getting his head round me not wanting to go though ivf again (it made me very ill and still having after effects 2 mths on, also i didn't respond to the drug, only 2 egg, neither fertalized   ) 
trying to talk about it a little but he says, not now, talk about it later   feel like i'm letting him down.
I want to be a family more than being pg so giving a kid a good home makes my heart burst.

Fo


----------



## curvycat

back at prep training for us today and we are both shattered! 

The other half still getting over being dresses up as "robin" and then a bride on his stag weekend and me getting over all the wedding planning and shopping I did as well as a night out and having my friends littly saturday night and sunday morning! 

Also no food in the house and so tummy will probably rumble all morning till lunch! 

hope u are all well xx


----------



## mavis

Glad it is all going well for you K, thinking of you a lot at the mo.

Jacks sorry to hear you are struggling a bit, hope you feel better soon,

mavis x


----------



## curvycat

Prep finished!!!!

YAY!! 

We are shattered. I think it went ok they seemed to be happy enough with us but I would love to see there comments on us! 

So many stages of "do they still want us?"

Just got medicals to be done and one reference still to fill in the form and then just the wait until we get allocated a sw!!

Hope all are really well


----------



## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Thanks for the TLC. We have the SW coming this aft to do all the checks on us. Little nervous actually which I know is silly!

Off on hols after that so hope everything goes well for everyone and see you all when we get back.

Jacks xxx


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Hi everyone,

Hope you're all well. Less than a week now til our first home study visit so expect I'll spend most of the weekend tidying up 


Moppit - hope you had a lovely girlie break with your friends and the sun shone brightly for you in Portugal! Could do with some of that sunshine here! Good luck with your home study visit. No advice on dealing with parents I'm afraid my Mum was dead keen on us adopting initially but now seems less keen - not sure if she's read something negative in the Daily Mail   or heard something negative from friends she knows who have adopted children. Something is definately on her mind about it and whenever I bring the subject up she doesn't seem to want to talk about it for long other than to say we should go for as young a child as we can! Parents eh?! 

Rhonda - good luck when panel time comes around - I'm sure you'll do great! Roll-on matching panel   

L456 - so glad all going well, not long til your 2nd visit and your DH comes home again  


Jacks - big   Hope you're feeling better. Enjoy your hols!


Curvycat - glad preps have gone well.

Rachel - I hope it rains for you on the 12th - but only the 12th! I want some sun til then  

Mavis - how are things with you?
CGxx


----------



## Rachelbee

Well today we had our next homestudy session, it was the one about fertility and relationship, SW had warned me that it's often the toughest one for most people, we were dreading it, although it was quite hard at times was much better than expected!! 
I'm beginning to worry a little that in some ways we are finding this all a lot easier than we were led to believe it would be!! Not sure if that's a good thing or not!


----------



## curvycat

rachelbee I am really happy that things are going so well

I wouldnt question it   just go with it


----------



## popsi

Rachel

We felt exactly the same, in fact we actually enjoyed it compared to IVF ! I think sometimes we have been though so much before we get to adoption its a positive move and one which will get us our family.

I did not find hardly any of it hard (except talking about me Dad who has passed away but find that emotional anyway) our social worker was fantastic, and we have been approved for 3 weeks now, so it is not always difficult, i would not hesitate to start again tomorrow 

Love to you all, i think of you often, if I can help anyone i will 
xx


----------



## curvycat

Popsi I dont think I have congratulated you! Sorry!!!!


----------



## Pinky3

HI Girls

I'm thinking of making my 1st call this week   I dont know where to start or if i'm jumping in to early - we've not quite made are minds up which way to go yet... more tx or adoption...  

Any advice would be greatly appriciated!!

George x x


----------



## saphy75

Hi Pinky welcome to the adoption thread, if you do decide to make "that call" they will probably send you an info pack out which will help you to decide if you want more tx or to adopt. in any case most agencies will like you to have given up tx for at least 6 months and some say a year (not trying to put you off just want you to be prepared) 

why not make the call and explain you are looking at your options right now and would like some info to aid your decision. then at least you'll know where you stand 

good luck whatever you decide and if we can help with any questions don't hesitate 

pam xx


----------



## L456

Hey there everyone  

Sorry I have been a bit distant - work has been tough and Dh has been home and then away and then home again!  Ship broke so never knew whether he would be home or not.

Rachel Bee - Dont worry about feeling it is going smoother than you think - look at it like you are better prepared than you thought you were!

Curveycat - Fingers crossed you dont have to wait too long for a SW, then it can be all systems go

FO - how are you doing??

Nova - how did the visit with the SW go??  Did she stay long? What's the next step?

Moppit - How are you doing? Did you have a good holiday? are you all refreshd and ready to take on the world

CWG - When is your visit? Did you manage to get all tidied up?

And sending   to all thoses who i have missed  


We have managed to get another SW visit in so that is now all 10 booked in and 1 down.  We have our next meeting tomorrow!!!!  I must admit I am feeling a little more relaxed about this one and have not cleaned behind the cooker or the fridge this time    Although knowing what I am like it will not last and tomorrow morning I will be running around with a feather duster in one hand and the hoover in the other.  The dogs will be relagated into the back garden and fabreezed!!!!  too late to give them a bath now!  

Then we have another meeting next week and then another the week after that! Then our prep course start!  and in between all of that we are supposed to be camping!  So fingers crossed the weather brightens up.

Right best I get on - keep well everyone
xx


----------



## Moppit

Hi Lovely Ladies

Back from lovely holiday with the girls in Portugal and feeling bronzed and relaxed. Had our first Home Study visit today and all went well, have booked all of them in the diary and already have a proposed date for panel.... 9th February.... along way to go but VERY excited to have a date already. Something to work towards!!!!

L456 - Sounds like you have been having a busy time. Really pleased that things are moving forward quickly. Sounds like we are at almost exactly the same stage. 

CurvyCat - Glad Prep groups have gone well.

George - Great news that you are considering adoption. We too went through a stage of weighing up whether to continue with tx or go to adoption. You have to be ready to give up on tx and if you are not and still have that lingering feeling that you want to try just one more time you should do that because you need to be 100% ready to start adoption. Having said that no harm in getting clued up. We spent months reading and talking to people while we were still doing tx so we'd be ready to make the move if and when we finally gave up. You are definately in the right place though this board is fantastic!

Rachelbee - Really interesting to hear your experiences of the Homestudy since we are just embarking on ours.

Love to all the other virgins

Moppit x

PS - Still keen for a meet up if anyone lives South East...


----------



## Nova

Hi Ladies!

Well our meeting with the SW was a long one, over 3 hours and pretty intense!! But she said she would put us forward to the next stage so the team mgr just has to give the final say so then we go forward for the training sessions. They are booking them for Nov at mo so not sure if we will get on this side of this year. Oh well...

L456 - I cleaned like i have never cleaned before!!     Mad or what!!! 

Moppit - Hope you had a good hol! I am off to Spain soon, hoping to be bronzed myself soon!   

Pinky - Hi, good luck!! the first call gives you some info on the whole process, and they send you an info pack too. xxx

Rachel - good luck xxxx


well off looking at wedding dresses with little sis and my beautiful nephew!! xxxx see you later!!

Nova XXX


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Hi everyone,

Unfortunately we've had to postpone our 1st home study visit by 2 weeks as DH came home with more than just jetlag from a working visit to the US! He's in bed with swine flu. I thought at first he had "man flu" and was just suffering from late nights and a lack of sleep so wasn't that sympathetic until his temperature started to rise   

He's been relegated to the back bedroom as having seen him with it I'm not keen to catch it too   

Nova - fingers crossed that you get on the November course    Hope the wedding dress shopping was productive  

George - If you're not sure what to do at the moment I'd definitely recommend reading up about adoption and making some enquiries now. It'll help you decide if it's right for you or you need/want to do more treatment first. Good luck with whatever you decide. It's not an easy decision but I have to admit that I felt a huge sense of relief when we finally decided to adopt. I just couldn't face the thought of more treatment and now don't regret giving up one bit. 

L456 - love the thought of fabreezing your dogs  

CG xx


----------



## Moppit

CG - Sorry to hear your DH has got Swine Flu! Hope he is recovering. Frustrating that you've had to postpone your Home Study visit but better that than the SW get ill and not be able to visit for weeks!

Mx


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

A social worker rang us up today and she will be coming out for our first visit on Tuesday 18th August 2009, she said it can take about 2 hours  
but she sounds nice anyway.

Looking forward to it but also very nervous about the questions she may ask, just in case I get all tongue tied  

Anyway will let you know what happens.

CG hope hubby gets better soon.

Hi to everyone else


Sonia xx


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Moppit - you're not wrong there far better that it's DH than our Social Worker - that is as long as I don't catch it  

Sonia - great news that you've got your initial visit. Don't worry about it though you'll find loads to talk about and before you know it you'll wonder where the 2 hours went.

CG xx


----------



## curvycat

well we have done all we can do now and just waiting for the sw to be allocated! 

feels strange and very scary that things are finally moving for us

we have been told sw will be allocated in sept but as our wedding is in oct I am not going to be too upset if it is delayed!!!  

hope you are all vv well!!


----------



## epona

Hi All

We are hoping to adopt siblings over the age of three and after many false starts and hiccups we are finally on our way. We have completed our prep course and had our first home study session with our social worker this week. She seems really nice and practical and has left us with lots to think about.

I have been following all the posts over the last few months and it has been reassuring to see everybody progress and get closer to a family life. Now I feel we can you join you in that journey. So thanks for all your advice and for sharing your journeys

Rachelbee hi we were at the same stage last September and I think we are the same stage now. Congrats on all you have done to get where you are.

Looking forward to the journey


----------



## curvycat

Good to meet you Epona. Good luck with your journey and glad you have joined us!


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Girls

I made that 1st call this week, i've spoken with three different agancy's, one being our local authority - lots to think about so far....

George x x


----------



## Moppit

Lots of newbies, welcome! Great that we have so many lovely ladies on the board at the moment!  

Sonia7 great news that you have a SW visit arranged. Try not to worry about it. We were really anxious about our first meeting and the SW's even commented at the end that I should relax. You will find that they are really nice and try to put you at ease and don't tend to ask you anything you can't answer. Its a good idea to do some reading around adoption and think about the reasons why you have decided to adopt before they come so you are prepared. Good luck!

Curvycat - Didnt know you were getting married. That is so exciting! What is your dress like?

As for me well having a good week. First home visit on Monday as you know and decided to tell my work mates this week that we are adopting have been overwhelmed by how kind everyone has been. Lots of lovely emails and loads of people referring friends they know who have adopted to us. Feel very loved even by my work mates!

Moppit x


----------



## wynnster

Hi Girls

Just popping on to Welcome any Newbies and also to say that if anyone needs to be added to the Current Posters List please contact myself or saphy, or if you're moving to the next stage etc 
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=119824.0

Best of luck on your journeys girls


----------



## L456

I would like to echo what the others have said!  It is so great there is so many of us on here at the moment and that many of us are at the same level of progress.

Our homestudy went well on Tuesday and we were encouraged that our SW stated that a particular experience of my DH was 'perfect' as he should be able to relate to the children!  However all I seemed to do is make her laugh at my antics as a child.  I was a very typical 'kevin' child!

Moppitt I too had a great reponse from my work collegues.  I spoke with them very early on and have been supported all the way, my boss is fantastic at allowing me to have time off for homestudies and our future pre courses on on Wed they all wanted to know how it went.  It makes all the difference when you have the support, you dont feel so alone.  But also they then understand why you might be upset when someone announces they are pregnant or you are having a down day.  

I am up for meeting people if anyone is up for it.  I like an hour away from London (by train) and very central to other towns, so I can more or less go anywhere.  I am on holiday (camping) in 3 weeks but apart from that most weekends are free.

I hope that all you days go well today.  I have a very busy day and would much rather stay at home and play with our new Wii and Wii fit which my DH won in the mess raffle yesterday!!!!  He also won an I touch ipod which he gave to me    He is definately in my good books at the moment.

xx


----------



## Moppit

Morning Ladies

Right I'm going to bite the bullet and suggest a date to meet for lunch in London. I know this will be a long way for some of you but I figure if we kick off with this then we could do a second one later in the year somewhere else. Please let me know if anyone would like to join me. Once I know numbers I'll confirm a venue. Even if it just ends up being 2 of us it will be lovely!

Saturday 19th September

On another subject part of our homework is to fill out the chronology section of the Form F. Part of it asks you to list major life events such as new relationships, illnesses etc. Just wondering what kind of thing people included here particularly in relation to relationships. Not sure whether I would include splitting up with some of my previous boyfriends as major life events! Anyone have any other examples of the kind of things they are looking for other than the obvious infertility area which we will cover.

Hope some of you can make the date!
Mx


----------



## popsi

just a quick one to say Hi to you all, your all doing really well now and getting the ball rolling, you will all be approved before you know it  

Moppit... not sure about the relationship aspect (as been with dh since i was 15!) but I put our wedding, the death of my father, buying our house, our nephew being born... hope this helps you 

right best go got loads to do, we are decorating the nursery at the moment in anticipation  

ps.. mavis whats hapening with you honey x


----------



## Moppit

Painting the nursery that is sooooo exciting!!!!!

Mx


----------



## L456

Morning everone

Just a quickie,

Just wanted to say that the date and place suggested by Moppit sounds good to me.  I think DH will be at sea again then so it will be just right.  But will double double check  

Hope you have a great weekend
xxxx


----------



## Moppit

Great news that you think you can make the 19th September for lunch in London. I'll keep a note of everyone who says yes and then PM you all nearer the time to confirm everything.

Lovely ladies hope some others can also make the 19th.

Mxxx


----------



## MrsPoogs

Hi everyone,

Can I join your thread please?  We have been to two open evenings one last year and then we had a DE cycle which failed and one this year in June, and then my sister offered to be a donor for us and has just told me she/her husband have decided they can't do it for us (and they have just had a baby) so that was really hard for me/us    

However, I have always known if treatment was unsuccessful I would like to go down the adoption process.  So here we are, my application is completed and am sending off on Monday (am so excited and nervous all in one that we are now finally sending our form off, I have been waiting to do this for several years now)  

Look forward to getting to know you all  

Love MrsPoogs xxx

PS.  I would love to come to the lunch in September, would that be ok considering I have only just joined the tread?


----------



## Moppit

Welcome Mrs Poogs - I love your name!!!

Of course you are welcome to join the lunch, the more the merrier and by then you'll be a regular poster I'm sure. Really looking forward to meeting those that can make it. Its great to get support via the site but will be even better to meet everyone.

Sounds like you have had a tough couple of years but so pleased you are feeling positive about adoption. I too tried the donor egg route and sadly failed but I can honestly say I feel happier and more at peace now we are pursuing adoption than I ever did on the rollercoaster of donor egg ivf. 

Good luck with your form and a very warm welcome to this wonderful thread full of wonderful strong, inspiring adoption virgins!

Have great weekends girls.

Mx


----------



## MrsPoogs

Thanks Moppit    (I was formerly "Poogie" but felt I needed a name change now   )

Yes its been very tough the last two years, but DH are now looking forward and are so much stronger and we/I are feeling happier now. 

Thanks so much for the warm welcome and I feel so much better now I am posting again as well and moving on!

I really look forward to the lunch too, as I love having lunch in town at the weekends (even though I work up here too - any excuse  ).

Lovely weekend everyone.

Love MrsPoogs xx


----------



## Fire Opal

Hi guys

Not been online much but wanted to say Hello

Also funny but Me and Hubby are on london from the 16th to 19th Sept for a break away, as we live in the countryside we thought it would be nice to have a hol in the city, go to the london eye, a westend show and go to china town. may sound made but looking forward to it.

I'll keep an eye on where ya meeting in case we're still there.

Much love and wishing you all a fab and groovy weekend

Fo


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Girls

Got some info inthe post this week, so plenty of reading to do.  No decisions made yet....

George x x x


----------



## paula37

Hi ladies, can i join in please.  Have been lurking for a while and noticed lots of newbies.

Me and DH have decided to go down adoption route.  Have been to open evening and sent initial registration form back and 2 days later had a reply to say they would be in touch to come and see us in 6-8 weeks.  Couldn't believe how quickly they'd replied.

Wishing you all the best of luck in your journeys.

xx


----------



## Rachelbee

oh no! Can't make the lunch, it's the day we get back from holiday! Maybe next time? Have fun ladies.

Well only 5 days to go til our 1st prep course! It's come round so quickly!!!
Not had time to read all the posts on here but hope everyone is well and things are going to plan xx


----------



## curvycat

Hi Paula! 

nice to meet you and you are more than welcolm on here.

Any questions dont hesitate to ask and I am sure one of us will be able to at least try and enlighten!! 

Well I am still waiting! Other half still not had his medical but otherwise we have done all we can just now need to wait for a sw to be allocated! 

The LA we almost went through sent us the invitation to there prep training this week and that was a bit strange! I do wonder if we did the right thing jumping ship to a VA but I have to be confident! 

Hope you are all enjoying your weekend x


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Firstly a big welcome to Epona, Mrs Poogs & Paula - it'll bo lovely to get to know you and share any info we can.  

Curvycat - it's great to hear you've fiinished the prep course and are now just waiting for a SW to be allocated.  Now you can really concentrate on enjoying your wedding! 

Rachel - I hope your prep course goes well and you get a lovely bunch on it. Although some days will be tough we enjoyed our course and the chance of hearing from people who had already adopted. 

George - happy reading   

Moppit - lunch in London sounds like a great excuse for a weekend away! I hope to join you and anyone else who can make it.  

CG xx


----------



## Moppit

Morning Lovely Ladies!

Hope you all had good weekends. We looked after two little boys this Saturday and Saturday night (3 years old and 8 months old) to get some child care practice and now utterly exhausted! Loved every second and so fantastic to see DH loving been a Daddy for the weekend. Has made us realise that we should make the most of all the free time we have until our child arrives through adoption though as realise just how exhausting being a Mummy and Daddy is!

Not long until our next Home Study session and need to get our homework done! Next Monday we'll be focusing on our support network.

Welcome to Paula and Epona - Great to have you on the board!

CG - Really hoping you can make the lunch in London. I feel like I almost know you we have both posted so much!!! If you or anyone else needs a bed for the night we have 2 spare rooms and would be happy to put anyone up for the night.

FireOpal - Really hope you can extend the weekend so that you can meet us for lunch.

Getting very excited about the prospect of meeting some of you. 

Mxx


----------



## MissSunshine

Panel on Wednesday!!!!! ARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Nova

Hi Ladies

Well its getting busy on here! I will try and make the lunch I'll look into trains today. I don't come to London often as live near Birmingham! 

Well meeting best mate today and going shopping and doing lunch... I love catching up with people during the summer hols, you never seem to get the chance during term time! I had my lovely little nephew all day on Saturday and DH and I talked about would we really be able to do this... We talked about were we to settled in our ways, in our life, were we too selfish for adoption.... Since our visit from the SW we have both been talking more about it, and I wondered if you ladies went through this or was it something you just knew....  Sorry if I'm putting a damper on things, just its all so much to think about...

Nova XXX


----------



## Moppit

Rhonda - This is amazing news!!!!! Congratulations that you have the date and masses and masses of luck. We will be thinking of you and waiting on tenter hooks to hear how it went. You really are on your way now and once panel is over nothing is stopping you!!!! Yipeeee!

Nova - So glad you think you will be able to make it and fingers crossed trains work out and arent too expensive. I'll make sure we pick somewhere central so that its easy for everyone to get to from whichever station they are coming in to. Don't feel bad at all about raising the thoughts you have in your post. Everything seems positive on the board at the moment but we have all had our down times and thoughts of indecision about whether we are doing the right thing. I completely understand your feelings about whether you are too settled or have room in your life for children, its entirely natural. I think DH and I have always known we would want children and have forged forward with treatment and then adoption but even so we do wonder sometimes if we are ready for the big change children will bring and weekend's like this one where we looked after children and saw how all consuming it was make you think it even more. I think everyone should weigh up these things carefully and should talk and talk about them with their partner as they are so important. Adoption isnt for everyone and there is no shame at all in deciding to move forward with another option such as staying as 2 rather than increasing your family. Having said that I thnk the thing about children is that you can never be 100% ready for them and if anyone thought about it too much they would never end up doing it, thats true of children that come naturally too. The thing about adoption is that it forces you to analyse everything far more intently than you would do if you were just pregnant. That is a good thing and a bad thing. At the end of the day in your hearts you will know what is right for you so stick with it, find out more and talk lots and you'll get there.
Mx


----------



## jrhh

Hello Ladies,

Glad to read you are all well and arranging a meet up, shame I'm too far away!

Rhonda eeeeeeeee how exciting for you!!!

Moppit your weekend sounded fab!!!  

Hello all the newbies and welcome and hi to everyone else.

Forgive my lack of messages at the mo but all over the place at the mo and need some time to decide which path we are takimng. I am still reading though!

Take care

Jacks x


----------



## curvycat

Rhonda wow!! 

Nova I think that it is less normal to not have any worries! I know that we do and that only means we are going into this with our eyes wide open!!! 

We have had some great news! Been allocated a sw and 1st HS meeting booked for the 24th of August!! SO excited! Also met her on prep training and she was great! In a mixed race relationship and seemed really down to earth! yay!


----------



## mavis

K, That's great news really pleased for you : )
mavis x


----------



## Camly

rhonda - good luck for panel. im sure u wont need it  

curvy - great news!!! keep us posted.

hi to all the newbies and 'oldies'   


x x x x x


----------



## Rossi

Good morning everyone,
I said last time I was on here I would try and post much more but it just doesn't seem to have happened! It is great to see how some of you are progressing it's the waiting I can't stand... That's all we seem to have done over the past three years. Life just seems to be on hold!
We have been on our preparation groups and are now waiting to be allocated a social worker to start homestudy. I phoned yesterday as it had been 5 weeks since the end of preparation groups and was told to phone in a couple of weeks as social workers have only just been allocated for the people who were on the preparation groups before ours. So more waiting! 
Good luck Rhonda for tomorrow - it seems to be moving really quickly for you both. 
Can anyone recommend any good books that I could be reading while waiting for homestudy to start or can think of anything I could start preparing to make homestudy run smoothly and quickly!!!! 
Thanks Zoe x


----------



## Moppit

Hi Zoe, great to see you on teh board. Don't worry about posting, some of us are addicted to it but others just come on when they feel like they need an answer to something.

In terms of books, I have read quite a few and would recommend any of the following:

*Adoption Diary - Maria James * (This is a personal account of a woman going through adoption, its really easy to read and a good insight into the process from start to finish in a personal rather than technical way)

*What to Expect when you are adopting - Ian Palmer * - This is the most useful book we have read on the process, it goes into lots of detail on what all the different stages cover including the Home Study and is very easy to read. Highly recommended.

*A child's Journey through placement, Vera Fahlberg * - I found this quite difficult to digest, its more of a text book than a guide for adopters and is something you would probably want to dip into rather than reading cover to cover. It is the main book all the social workers mention and is quoted alot in the Prep Groups text book.

*Parenting the Child that Hurts, Tiddlers and Toddlers - Caroline Archer * - I'm reading this book at the moment and finding it great. I think its somethign I will definately refer to when our child comes as it has lots of really useful information about the effects of attachment on children and practical ways to help your child.

There are lots of others but thought I"d mention just thes as a start. I reserved these in my local library rather than buying them but I think they are also all available on the Adoption UK online bookshop or on Amazon.

Reading is a really good way to fill the time while you are waiting and will stand you in good stead for the HS. Our Social Worker seemed to be really pleased with all the research we had done. In addition to the books you should join Adoption UK as there are lots of useful articles on their website and the magazine they produce is also really good.

Keep positive, you will get there in the end. The waiting is the hardest thing and although we are now in the midst of our HS I know there is going to be alot more waiting to do...

Mx


----------



## MrsPoogs

Morning.

Thank you for the warm welcome  

Well I sent my application form off yesterday and am trying not to be too excited as I know there will be alot of waiting, so am trying to patient (but am so pleased to have finally taken the first step!   )

I haven't really told anyone now that I have sent my form off, just wondered when you told friends and work colleagues.  I thought I would like to have the initial interview and then to know that we were being offered a place on the prep course(s), there are two courses to attend in our area, before we told people.  I suppose I feel very vulnerable as all our friends know our situation and my sister has just had a baby earlier this year, and we are now getting our "social" life back on track that I don't feel ready now to tell our friends just at the moment.

Hi Paula glad I am not the only newbie  

Rhonda - good luck for Weds!  

Moppit - the books you have listed below are a great help and I am gonna join my local library now so I can get some.  I read tons of books on the train to work so it will save some money if I can get the in library!!

 to everyone else, sorry I haven't done many personals will take a little while to catch up with everyone and get to know you all.

MrsPoogs xx


----------



## Moppit

Hi Mrs Poogs (still love the name )

I think when to tell family and friends is a difficult question and something really personal to each person's situation. We told our close friends and family very early on. This was because they were aware of the fertility treatment failing and we wanted to let them know that we had decided not to continue and were now pursuing adoption. Rather than talking about it endlessly we sent quite a few emails explaining what we would be going through and what support we might need. This was around the time of our initial interview. As the process has progressed we have increased the people we have told to extended family, more friends and most recently our work mates. I had been holding off telling work because I did not want them to look at me differently or to overlook me for promotions and things like that. Initially I felt that I should treat it like a pregnancy and not tell them until later when I would ahve more of an idea when I would leave but in the end I decided to tell my team last week as I wanted them to know that when I am out of the office regularly in the next few months it isnt because I am skivving. They have all been incredibly supportive so it was the right thing to do for me but I think it does depend on where you work and how close knit the team you work on is. I did tell them that I didnt want it to be something that was a source of office gossip. I don't think there is anything wrong in not telling work (apart from HR and your boss perhaps) until much nearer the time. Our view has always been that we are very proud to be adopting and do not want to hide the fact that our child is adopted so pretty much everyone around us now knows including our neighbours. It could be argued we have been too open but its works for us and I have been overwhelmed by the amazing support everyone wants to give. I can honestly say that people are more interested in adoption than pregnancy and keen to know all the ins and outs of our journey all the time. We are constantly asked for updates and its really lovely that everyone is genuinely interested although this may wane as time goes on.

Sorry I've waffled there, I suppose what I'm trying to say is think about who is in your support network, the Social Workers will want to see that you have been open with them and don't have any issues or shame around adoption but at the same time there are people in your life that don't need to know and who you may feel more comfortable telling at a later stage.

Mx


----------



## curvycat

We have also decided to tell everyone. I am a very open person anyway and would really struggle if I felt such an important part of my life was off limits to people. I have have found most peoples reaction is very possitive although there are some very strange questions asked  

I do think that you just need to do what is most natural to you.

I have friends who have not told anyone and all the ways inbetween! 

Do however be prepared to educate all around you!


----------



## MrsPoogs

Hi Moppit/Curvycat 

Thanks for your replies  .  I am a very open and honest person too, but after having gone through treatment and telling people and then last year my sister falling pregnant after we had told all our friends was very hard for me!! Although our friends were very supportive towards us,  they are older than us and then they questionned as to what we were going to and would we adopt.  

Friends within our crowd of friends adopted a girl of 11 three years ago and have had a very tough several years, its only now that things are settling down for them.  So when we have been questionned recently (particularly by the same people continually!  ) I have been saying we have no plans as yet and are just trying to get ourselves back on track after years of TTC.

I feel I would like to tell our friends and my work when we are booked on the courses (fingers crossed), then it feels more real and we are finally going in the right direction.

MrsPoogs xx


----------



## MissSunshine

D-day is upon us!!!! HELP!!!!!! Feel soooooooo nervous!!!!!


----------



## popsi

just popping in really quickly to wish rhonda good luck for today, you will be fine they are human i promise xxxx

much love to everyone else on your journeys xx


----------



## mavis

Yes, GOOD LUCK Rhonda and DH, sure you will be fine, x

Hello to everybody too - mavis x


----------



## Moppit

Good luck Rhonda and DH, very exciting day! We are all thinking of you and can't wait to hear your news.

Mx


----------



## L456

Good Luck Rhonda!!  Will be thinking of you  

xxxxxxx


----------



## Pinky3

Good Luck Rhonda


----------



## MissSunshine

Hey Virgins!!!

Well DH and I were approved today. It was a unanimous decision, and they feel that the younger the child the better for us, and they hope to see us back for matching panel very soon.......... We are over the moon!!

Thank you for all your support!

Love Rhonda.XxX


----------



## curvycat

congrats Rhonda and hubby!!!!   Great news!!!!


----------



## Pinky3

Rhonda - congratulations


----------



## Suzie

rhonda & dh   

Hope your wait is a short one 

xx


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## L456

Congratulations Rhonda and DH !!!!!!!  That is just fantastic news

I bet you are   for joy with the news

I really hope you wont be having to wait for long to be matched

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## wynnster

Congratulations Rhonda and DH - Heres to a short wait


----------



## MrsPoogs

Congratulations Rhonda and DH


----------



## Moppit

Rhonda this is absolutely fantastic news, huge congratulations. You must be over the moon. Are you doing something fun to celebrate?

Keep in touch and let us know what happens next!

Mx


----------



## Nova

Congrates Rhonda!!!!         

NovaXXXXX


----------



## Rossi

Hi Everyone,
Thanks Moppit for the list of books I have also bought and read the Tiddlers and Toddlers one and think that it will come in very useful one day hopefully very soon!... I like books that give you practical advise - will look in to buying or borrowing some of the others. 

Not much to report here although we did get our medical forms through today - so I now have to make an appointment for us both to have a full medical - so we are moving forward slowly...

Congratulations Rhonda I bet you are both so excited 

Zoe x


----------



## cindyp

Congratulations Rhonda and DH   

Cindy


----------



## pink tulip

Hi there,

I am new to this thread and want to introduce myself!
I was diagnosed with breast cancer exactly a year ago and am coming to terms with the fact that we won't be able to have our own children. Before BC, we had spent 5 yrs ttc and we were just about to start our 2nd ICSI when I was diagnosed. So its the end of the road for us. We are hoping to start adoption processes Jan 2010.I'm quite concerned that with my medical history that we may be knocked back. At 36 I'm desperate to start our family asap.
I am looking forward to picking up some hints and tips as to what I should be doing now to prepare ourselves for getting started. One of the things that we're doing is trying to increase our time with children, babysitting etc
I've also just read "An adoption diary" which was very useful.
I would love to hear from anyone who has adopted successfully after cancer or who knows anything about it.

Pink Tulip


----------



## Moppit

Dear Pink Tulip

A big welcome to the board. You are definatley in the right place. I am so sorry to hear that you have had cancer, infertility is hard enough to deal with without cancer on top of it. The most important thing is for you to get well. Your dreams of having children will come true I'm sure of it.

I don't have any experience of adopting with cancer but I do know that health does play a part in the assessment process. Each adopter has to have a medical and your GP is required to write about any illnesses or conditions which could effect your ability to parent. I suspect that with cancer the adoption agency or LA will be looking to understand that this will not have an effect on your ability to parent and that your treatment is finished and you are on the road to recovery. If you don't get the information you need from this board (which I'm sure you will) try doing a search on the FF website under adoption and cancer as there are likely to have been posts on it before. You could also try calling Adoption UK or BAAF who have helplines which I'm sure would answer your questions.

Its really exciting that you have decided to move on with adoption. I can honestly say that after 5 failed Donor Egg IVFs its the best thing I've ever done. We are still a long, long way from getting a child but I feel more positive than I ever did about treatment and alot better about myself. Our relationship is stronger and we are 100% sure that we are doing the right thing. Its hard to give up on fertility treatment but if you are ready, adoption can be, I believe, just as good if not better than having a child naturally.

Really hope you get the answers you need. We are all here for you when ever you need us. This board is fantastic and we all use it regularly for support.

Sitting at home waiting for hte social worker to arrive for my next HS appointment...

Mx


----------



## Fire Opal

Morning all 

well we have our first evening info meeting tonight   i bit nervous but excited

In a bit of a pickle at the mo, after our follow up at the fertility clinic last week, where the doc told me i have the fertility of a 42 year old (i'm 36)  
He had booked us in the another go at ivf, i was nearly in tears when i told him i didn't really want to go though it again but he was, well it's free you might as well, i could see if my hubbys eyes he was willing me to say yes, so we're booked in for oct/nov and i can cancel if i really don't want to.

the bummer is that as we are booked in now the adoption people won't take us seriously, so once the ivf fails (which i feel it will as i don't respond to last go so will be on high drug doses  ) we will have to wait a onther 6mths before filling out forms,   more waiting 

soz for rant just feeling a little unsure about stuff at the mo.

roll on tonight

Fo


----------



## L456

Hey everyone,

How are you all??  Well I am now on my holidays - 2 blissful weeks away from work.  Not doing anything this week but next week are supposed to be camping so I am asking you all to keep your fingers crossed for us to have good weather.  I dont need boiling hot stuff just dry, we have yet to have a camping holiday when it hasn't rained!

We have our 4th home visit tomorrow.  We are anticipating it to be another marathon session, last time it was all about ex partners and such like.  I know that we have all said it but it seems so weird that any of this stuff actually matters to us as a couple wanting to parent, but hey ho, if we need to talk about it then we will.

Right best be off, I need to do some more dusting and cleaning of the bathrooms before tomorrow.  Sorry for the lack of personals - will definately catch up propertly after tomorrow.

Sending   to you all.
xxxx


----------



## Moppit

Hi L456 - Good to hear from you. Lucky you having 2 weeks off. I'm sure we are due some sunny weather so fingers crossed for camping! Sounds like the HS is going well, 4th session must be almost half way through so something to celebrate! We had our 2nd session today and have decided we talk too much! Was supposed to be 2 hours but we were still talking away 2 hours 40 mins in! It was on support network and DH found it really hard because he just can't be pinned down to thinking of 1 or 2 friends that he would turn to, he's one of those people who has a large group of friends but not one special close one. No problem on number of support network just that he needs to identify a couple of people he would turn too first. Men are funny, I had no problem as have had the same 3 best girlfirends since I was 11! Did any of your DH's struggle with this 'best friend' thing in the HS?

Fire Opal - This is a really difficult one. Only you and DH can really know the right decision to make. All I would say is that you have to be 100% ready to give up on fertility treatment because you do not want to find that in a year or even 5 years time you wonder what if and start to think you made the wrong choice. I know for me we got to a point where neither of us could face continuing, it took time but we are really glad we made the decision. At the end of the day you could go on for ever (of course finances do come into it) but its not just about money its also about your physical and mental health and you need to think about this very carefully too. The reason we stopped was because we weighed up the likelihood of it working with the effect it was having on us and decided that it was just too little chance of it working. I don't know where you are with this. Whatever you decide adoption won't go away, you can still revisit it if the treatment fails or even if it suceeds in years to come. Yes it means delaying but not forever. Good luck with your discussions and making a decision.

Mx


----------



## Fire Opal

Cheers M

well last night went ok, the ladies we met where really nice and helpful, they also had a lady there who had adopted 2 boys 2 years ago and she told us her journey, which sadly just confirmed dh's idea that things do go wrong. She was told the boys aged 2 and 5 where really calm and sweet, when she got them after 2 years of paper work, it her words were monsters, wrecked her house, have mega emotional issues but she said its been hard work but after 2 years they are settling down. this really put the nail in the coffin for dh's ever thinking of it as a option.  

we got home at 10.30 and stayed up talking til 1am. I had a good cry and we opened up about our feelings.
I told him that really i am doing this ivf for him mostly, and i know my body and i know it won't work.

He's now told me that he would want to try surrogacy or egg donation before thinking of adoption.
I feel so out of control at the mo, i know we're a team and we have to consider each other but why do i feel under pressure to do the right thing   
feel i want to lose the weight i have gained and just get on with having fun and feeling sexy and not a failed dried up infertile mess

ho hum life goes on


----------



## Moppit

Fire Opal - My heart goes out to you. It is so difficult when you don't agree with your partner on what to do next. You need to tell him how you feel and must not feel pressured into doing anything for anyone else. This has to be a joint decision and you must be happy with it as it is your body and your emotions at stake. I know that you have heard a negative story about adoption but not all stories are like this and its really important that you and DH get perspective. Yes adoption is challenging and there are many horror stories but it is still the case that the majority of adoptive parents wouldnt change a thing and even when times are tough they love their children as much as if they had been born to them. I have spoken to as many people who have had very good experiences as those that havent so it is not the case that all adoptions end up like the couple you spoke to last night. Having said that if you do go down this path it is really important that your DH is behind it and that he understands that it could be challenging and is ready for it. I think he needs time to digest the information you've found out, read more, talk to more people and then make a decision.

As for egg donation well I have personal experience of that as my 5 attempts at IVF were all with donor eggs as I have premature ovarian failure and do not ovulate or produce my own eggs. My experience was not successful but I know many women who have been so this may be an option for you but it is not an easy one as you have to come to terms wth the fact that you will be carrying a baby that is only genetically your husband's. This was never a problem for me but it is somethign you need to work out in your head before going forward with this option.

If there is anything I can do to help in anyway please let me know. Your husband needs to put you first, he is in shock at the moment and thats understandable but you need to be open with eachotehr share your fears and sadness so that you can go forward as a partnership. Whether its more IVF or adoption you need to both want the same thing as your relationship needs to be strong to face either option.

Good luck.

mx


----------



## Fire Opal

M  

thanks so much for your kind words.

so so tired today i can't think whats best at the moment, AF is here at the mo so feeling very emotional and have a killer tummy ache, not fair that i still get af when i can't get pg  

Fo


----------



## L456

Hey all,

Just a quickie to say SW visit went ok - other than that our prep course have been postponed again!  So the first 3 are all cancelled and we have no idea as to when they will be!  So at the moment we feel that it is 2 steps forward and then a load back.

Off to eat some chocolate digestives now!  

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mavis

Hi Ladies,

FO - so sorry you are having such a hard time, can you maybe make some room for 'me time' - some space.  Moppit's advice has been really good, I hope you have someone close that you can talk to.

Moppit - HS support wise, my dh is similar to yours in that way, he also feels though that he doesnt need to rely on anyone else in a lot of ways, which is true for him, but he just said well i'd speak to my uncle for this or speak to friend/friends for that and they seemed happy with that.  I would say try not to over analyse it - easier said then done I know in these hs sessions - I always mull over every angle and aspect and dissect again and again.  I think it is just the way because to some extent is out of our control we are being led by someone else and it means so much.  I would say more than anything they want to be seeing people on the support network that are there to help in diff ways and it sounds like you guys have a lot of people between you.

L456 - sorry to hear about your preps being postponed again aaaaaaaaaaaaargh it is so frustrating isnt it.  Any idea when you can chase or you will hear when they will be?

Love to everyone else too,

mavis x


----------



## Moppit

l456 - Sorry to hear about the Preps being postponed, so frustrating!

fireopal - hope you are feeling a bit better and things seem clearer today

mavis - great to hear from you, how are things going with you?

Looking for some advice from you all on the matching process. Obviously a long way from this happening but as we get deeper into our HS we are starting to think more deeply about the profile of child we might be able to parent and had a long discussion last night. We realise that we don't fully understand how the process works and although we plan to ask our SW next time we see her I'd love to know your thoughts.

What we have been wondering about is how much of the matching process is down to what we say we can cope with and how much is down to what the SW thinks we can cope with based on the HS. So far our SW has been very positive about our responses to the point where she says she thinks we could cope with alot of things. This is obviously great but it has got me thinking about whether the matching process means taht because she feels this we will only be matched with more difficult to place children with more issues. Obviously I like to hear that we are strong enough to cope with this but in an ideal world if there is a 'choice' (and I hate to use that word) between a younger child with less problems and an older child with more problems we would want to be matched with the younger child. Do you know what happens in this kind of instance, would we be passed over for an easier to place child because this is likely to go to a couple of the SW has decided couldnt cope so well with a more difficult child?

Sorry if I'm sounding a bit confused! Also wondering about age in this circumstance, we are really keen to go for as young a child as possible for lots of reasons but one of the main ones is that because we are relatively young our peer group only have very young children or babies. How forceful should we be on this. The SW mentioned 0-5 this week but we would really like to push for 0-3 or even 0-2. 

I'm concious that we can only be honest during the HS and the SW will make her own judgements and that is what the HS is designed for but all these thigns are swirling round my mind and suddenly really worried that we are ticking all the boxes for the HS but not getting accross what the type of child we feel in our heart of hearts we could and would parent.

Mx


----------



## MrsPoogs

Hi

Fireopal - it is so hard deciding when to stop treatment and considering adoption.   I had my failed tx last June and then my sister announced her pregnancy in July and then I start grieving  .  I really wanted to start the adoption process last year but now I know I needed the year to recover and get myself and DH back on our feet.  This year I treated myself to new (.)(.) (LOL) which sounds completely mad but I needed to do something just for me as I was feeling so awful in myself and about TTC, and I know I needed to move on, and this was part of my way of doing it.  Just recently my sister offered and then rejected her offer to be an egg donor for me, which I was half considering, but in my heart I knew that I really couldn't go through any more treatment both physically and emotionally and if I had I would really only be doing this for my DH.  Hopefully, with a little time you will come to the right decision for both you and your DH  

L456 - Hi I remember you posting a while back about your nephew, how are things?  Hope you get on another Prep course soon!

Mavis - hello   

Moppit - hello  , I know I am only just starting out, but should you not stick to your guns regarding the age of child/ren that you are interested in.  I have experience of a very good friend who adopted 3 years ago and is early 50's.  Her daughter is 11 now but was 8 at the time.  They have had a very difficult time and she only just told me recently that her SW had told them at the time they should consider a younger child, but she had her heart set on her daughter at the time.  Things have been so tough that now she does wish she had considered younger children and keeps telling me to do this.  

Well as you know I sent my form off last Monday and am wondering how long I should leave before I chase up with a follow-up call?

Love MrsPoogs xx


----------



## mavis

Hi All,

Moppit, will send you a pm.

Mrs Poogs well done getting your form sent back, I would try 3 weeks or so.  Hopefully you will hear sooner.

mavis x


----------



## recorder

sorry - I am jumping in to the middle of a conversation I think.  I am new to this board, and new to IVF. THe only thing I have 'wrong' is age ... 40 in a couple of days.  Have been ttc for 7 years but have been very very badly advised by my GP (very long story).
I finally took myself off to the Infertility centre, and FSH was 20 earlier this year, and obviously all they would offer me was donor egg IVF.  I find that an easy option to do, so we tried it but it failed.  I thought I would be absolutely fine with that failure but I misjudged the depth of grief I would feel.

My husband and I know we wish to parent and have a family so we are very open to adoption.  HOwever, we made basic enquiries before we knew we were formally infertile 2 years ago, and two social workers came to our house in Herts.  They simply said 'go away and wait' which irritated me a little.  They also questioned our 'support network' ie the lack of it.  I have friends all over the world through my job, and friends all over the south east - they just don't live down the end of the road and that really bugged me, esp since once you get a child you instantly make a group of friends through school and nursery.  
Then I made teh 'mistake' of ringing the social worker again a few weeks after failed donor egg IVF because I desperately wanted to 'get going' with something at least.
The conversation was touchy again, to say the least.  Plus, they had consulted our notes from two years ago and mentioned again the 'lack of support network'.  This REALLY bugged me, but I admit I was not in a good place emotionally anyway.
i'm a teacher and love kids.  I know I have many skills that would be great for adoption because I have a lot of experience of kids and in general kids like me.

Sorry for going on.  IVF is a pain, but adoption is just as difficult it seems and i don't know where to start.


----------



## mavis

Hi Recorder - welcome ahve sent u a pm.

mavis x


----------



## L456

Hey there everyone,

How are we all??  It is the eve of our annual camping trip and the house is all topsy turvy with the mountain of stuff that we insit on taking each year.  I dread to think the amount of stuff we will end up taking when we are finally parents.    We are off for a week and for once it would be nice to have a dry week.  At the moment I am sitting at the dining table typing this whilst my DH is trying to hoover around the mountain of camping things!  Oops - I have now been moved as I was in his way!!  I think it is his forces training that when he gets an idea in his head then nothing will stop him acheiving his goal.  Even the dogs have been relegated to the garden!

Mrs Poog - your quite right - our nephew is a couple of months old  now and we have just been able to put a photo of him up.  We still have limited contact and we are the only members of the family who have not had a webcam session.  It is not from the want of us trying - we made the decision to make an effort (no matter how it hurt) but have little back in return.  They show  no interest in our journey and we are struggling to keep a sivel tounge when we hear how wonderful they are.  Although we did vent some anger to our SW this week which felt good!  It is so hard to be excited over the new addition as it is, due to our struggle to become a family but it is made so much harder when we dont hear anything about him.  We have no idea what his little likes and dislikes are, what his sleeping patterns are, what milestones he has reached, how much he weighs now.  All we get are brief emails stating how wonderful it is now to be a family and how he has completed their life!  

We have been told that the prep course will be set around my DH ship programme but time is running out.  Am i right in thinking that if we dont do the prep courses we cant go to pannel?  It is getting a little frustrating now as we have had 4 meetings with our SW and another 4 booked in between now and Nov.  We are pencilled in for pannel in January before DH deploys and I really dont want to have that delayed.  We both have our hearts set on searching for our little one (s) whilst he is away.

Mrs Poogs - Have you rung about your form?  We rang our VA after a couple of days to make sure they got it ok.

Moppit - Have you had any more visits from SW??  I agree with the others - you should stick with what your gut and heart are telling you.  

Mavis - how are you doing?

Fo - sending  

And hi to Recorder and anyone else I might have missed  

Right the hoovering has now finished so I best get on and help. Our 2 little hairy babies need to head of to their grandparents for their holiday so I need to pack their bag!

'See' you all when I get back.  Have a great week 

xxxxxxxx


----------



## recorder

I am not sure how to navigate this board - so many threads! Please send me another personal message containing your email and I will contact you. I don't want to put my email in public on this board but i will email you through a personal message. I think it is important to talk to others going through adoption.

just don't ask me about 'support networks' - I will go mad!
If the social workers want support networks ... well then I've just started a table on my computer with precise details fo names, addresses, ages .... they'll get SUPPORT NETWORKS up their *****!



mavis said:


> Hi Recorder - welcome ahve sent u a pm.
> 
> mavis x


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Girls

Just popping on to let you know we have decided to use our 2 remaining NHS cycles later this year, so any adoptions plans will have to stay on hold - thanks for your support and advise, but i dont think i was quite ready to move on just yet...        good luck to everyone   

George x x


----------



## Rachelbee

Hi guys,

Just quick update on us!!

We have only 1 homestudy left to do now which is a great feeling, we have done 2 prep courses so have 2 left and are still hoping for panel on 7th Oct!!

This is all feeling a bit real now!!!


----------



## wynnster

Rachelbee - It all starts to feel a little  doesn't it  All perfectly normal 

Pinky - Best of luck on your journey and well done on coming to that decision, not an easy one to make 

Recorder - Welcome to the Adoption & Fostering Thread - This 'Virgin' board is a great place to start, you'll soon learn your way around  
Our SW was thorough with our support networks also, once you have your child placed you will need that support there ready, they're just looking to make sure you have that support there from friends and family if you should need it (I never realised how much I would need mine) and having someone just round the corner ready to step in if you should need it is a god send.



recorder said:


> esp since once you get a child you instantly make a group of friends through school and nursery.


For me this was not true and I wouldn't want anyone starting out to be under the allusion that you can get an instant support network when a child is placed. Your child will need safety and security for a time before you think about groups etc and friendships take a while to form either way. The first few months are the most testing or were for me anyway and nothing can prepare you for parenthood, whether you work with children or not.



recorder said:


> Sorry for going on. IVF is a pain, but adoption is just as difficult it seems and i don't know where to start.


Don't apologise, thats what this thread is for  Adoption is no easy ride, you have to be 100% commited and every step of the way think about the child and not of yourselves. As for not knowing where to start, here is a good place and if you haven't already you can get some great support and advice from Adoption UK

http://www.adoptionuk.org/

Best of luck 

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## Old Timer

Hi All

Just wanted to post my agreement with Wynnster about support networks that you have now being very important.  My DS was placed in June 08 and as we were getting ready to get out there and go to groups they all closed for the summer holidays.  If I hadn't had my frineds and family there I would have probably gone mad.  Even now, 14 months in my main support network is the one I started out with before placement.

Good luck to you all.

OT x


----------



## clarity

Hello ladies
I'm a lurker but have posted once or twice on here. 
I've decided to stop tx and go for adoption. Quite dauting. 
My LA saidnot to contact them for 6 months after my last tx. Does it sound right to you? I'd b interested in your experience in this regard. 

Thanks
C x


----------



## Moppit

Hi Clarity - Posting from holiday in France, just couldnt resist seeing how all the lovely Virgins are doing. Re the 6 month thing, most LAs are very strict about it but I have to be honest we did stretch the truth slightly and started the process 3 months rather than 6 months after our last cycle. In my view we were ready but this is a personal thing and related to the fact that we had decided to adopt a while before the last egg donation cycle we had and had had to grieve for the loss of genetics long ago. What they are looking for is that you have put treatment behind you and have greived for the child you will not have naturally and are ready for adoption. I don't feel good about lying and I would not necessarily recommend you do it but I know I'm not the only one who stretched the truth. The one thing I would say though is that if you decide to do this you do have to be very careful as in the assessment process you are expected to talk about fertility and also to have our doctor fill out a form. It was fine for us as our GP was not involved with our treatment as we had it abroad but this could be an issue otherwise. I know 6 months probably feels like forever now but you can spend it usefully getting informed about adoption and doing lots of reading/research. It will go quickly and this will stand you in very good stead for the assessment.

Pinky - So glad you have been able to make a decision. I am sure it is the right one. Best of luck with the journey and fingers crossed you have a baby in your arms one way or another before too long.

Recorder - I know it seems like there are endless hoops to jump through but some of them do make sense I promise and I would agree with the other two that support groups are one of these. I havent adopted yet but can see how much support I will need and although I agree you can make new networks this could be difficult when you are 100% focused at the start on the child. One good thing might be to start building a network now during the assessment process of other adopters in your area. Have you joined Adoption UK? If not they have local groups and sub groups for prospective adopters which could help you.

As for me well having a few days break in France. Havent had another meeting with the SW yet, not for a couple of weeks but have done lots of thinking and feeling much better about the matching process. We are writing down lots of questions for the next meeting.

For those newbies who live within travelling distance of London we are having a meet up lunch on Saturday 19th of September in London. Would be fantastic if any of you could make it. Really looking forward to actually meeting some of the lovely ladies on here! At the moment there are 6 of us confirmed with some DH/DPs but the more the better. Once I have confirmed numbers I'll book a restaurant somewhere central and easy to find.

Mx


----------



## MrsPoogs

Hi

Moppit - hope you are having a lovely break away and the weather is good too    I think I said I would like to join the lunch on 19th Sept, I was going to come along but am now thinking about asking DH to join me, can I let you know?  

Clarity - hi welcome I am newbie too  

Recorder - hi, I am in Herts too and have just applied to HCC.  I did contact them over a year ago and was told then that they like you to have a 6 month break between treatment and applying for adoption.  Some counties are over a year.  We decided to have DE cycle last year and it has now been 14 months and I do feel ready now, at the time though I really didn't feel I needed any time between treatment and applying.  

Well I received a letter from my LA last Thursday evening and my first initial meeting at their office is next Weds at 10am, I couldn't believe it as I thought it would be weeks away, I am really pleased but trying not to get too excited  

Love MrsPoogs xxx


----------



## curvycat

Hi all 

We have our 1st hs visit on Monday and very excited although mood been shattered somewhat as one of our fur babys got killed over the weekend. 

DP wants us to get another kitten in a couple of months does anyone know how SS would view us getting a new kitten whilst going through the process?


----------



## mavis

Hi everyone,

Pinky, Good Luck : )   

Clarity, our LA says 6 months also some others may vary, it is a daunting decision but you have now made it and hopefulyl you will feel better for that.  As moppit says reading up and using the time productively is a good idea it should also help to keep you busy and feeling like you are achieving too.

Great news Mrs Poogs : )

Curvy, so sorry to hear about your cat :' ( - I dont think kitten would be a problem x

Moppit, hope you are enjoying your holiday, I never heard back form you on the matching did you get my pm ok?

Rachelbee, great news too - nrly there : )

Thank you to all that have asked, I am doing ok on the HS it has been slow but and are aiming to go to panel early next year.

Hi to CG, Tiger, Carole, L456 and anyone else that I have not mentioned here or above, hope you are all well.

love as always 

mavis x


----------



## sonia7

Hi Everyone

How are you all. I can't believe it the social worker will be here in half an hour for our very first visit. OMG I am nervous and excited. Got the kettle on, tea and coffee at the ready and the choccie biscuits (although half the packet has now gone   )

Will let you know how it went

Sonia xx


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## mavis

Hi Sonia,

Good Luck : )

Lets us know how you got on.

mave x


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## Rachelbee

Hi Sonia,

How did you get on with your visit yesterday! (choccy biscuits are a MUST for our SW-lol)

x


----------



## Fabulous Lady Lumps

Hi everyone,

Sorry to butt in, am having a minor crisis!

We are about half way through our HS and all has been fine apart from issues in my childhood which we've covered off now. But SW is now saying he may have to contact DH's ex. Things ended really badly between them (don't they always?) and solicitors were involved etc. We know that there is no chance of her saying anything positive.

Has anyone had this situation? I wonder how much notice they will take of her?


----------



## Moppit

Hi Ladies

Back in the office this afternoon  Had a lovely break in the sunshine and very sad to be back!

Sorry not to reply to the PM Mavis, now I'm back from Hols I'm going to spend some time writing some proper PMs and you are first on the list. Really appreciated you taking the time to PM me and your advice was really useful.

*Re the London meet up*​
DH's and DPs are very welcome! I think mine is going to come along. At the moment I have 5 ladies confirmed (6 including me): Mrs Poogs, L456, Cotswold Girl, Fire Opal and Nova. Let me know how many of you will be bringing your DH/DP.

Other posters can you let me know if you would like to come along. We will be meeting for lunch in London on Saturday 19th of September. All welcome. For location I was thinking of finding somewhere around Covent Garden as it should be easy for everyone to get to. I'll try and find somewhere that is reasonably priced but won't hurry us over lunch so that we can spend as much time as we like chatting!

Moppit x


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## Chocolate Button

Hi everyone. I am so sorry for my long absence. So much has been going on we just never have a second and I was without a computor for months aaargh.
We have finally started our homestudy and are looking at being at panel in March. So feeling so much brighter and better now things are moving.
I will try to catch up with all that has been going on with you all and hope it is ok to join you again. xx


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## L456

Hey Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The Ray Mears of the south has returned from 2009 camping trip  

We were extremely lucky and had fantasic weather, had a great pitch, and the tent stayed up even though we managed to snap 2 tent poles in the process of putting it up!  Lots of walking, taking in the scenery, relaxing, reading and plenty of eating!    During the trip we even allowed us to dream as to what it might be like when we have our own littlies and what equipment will need etc.....  However the only downside was the 6 hour journey home (it should have taken no more than 3 3/4 hrs) and the 2 hours stuck on the M25!  But it was lovely to see our 2 fur babies and their excitement to see us.  I don't think their tails could wag any more - although it was short lived as my parents were dishing up ham at the time and that took over  

No back to reality - oodles of washing, and back to work Monday.  

On our return we have received an email from our SW and the 3 prep courses have been re -arragened and fingers crossed DH will be in port and can attend.  I dont want to even think about what will happen if he cant.

So how are you all??

Lady Lumps - My ex needs to be contacted (was with him nearly 7 years) and am also dreading what he might say.  Although our SW has reassured me that they take all things into consideration, and bear in mind that the other person might be trying to make trouble.  By now your SW will have a good understanding as to your true personality.

Sonia - how did your visit go?  Was he/she there for long?  Any idea as to your next one>

Rachel Bee - Roll on October !!!!  How exciting  

Mrs Poog - Am I right in reading that your meeting is next Wed?  - If so I hope it goes well.

Curvy Cat - So sorry to hear about your fur baby  sending   - I am sure your SW would not mind at all.  Have you decided to get another?

Mavis - how are you?  Sounds like you, Moppit and I are all around the same stage and should be going to pannel around the same time too.

Choc Button - Great news that you are also starting on the road.  Hope it all goes to plan!

And a huge HELLO to those who I might have missed!


Moppit - Glad you had a great time away it is always horrible to come back to work - I keep hoping to win the lottery so I do not have to go to work - although not enough for DH to leave as I still want him to be in his uniform  
As for the London meet up - Can my DH come??  He is a bit nervous as am I, as I keep what I write close to my chest and he will find out all my secrets  

Well I think that is it for now.  DH is off out watching the airshow in Shorum so I am now going to make a cup of tea and sit in front of the telly and catch up on things I sky + over the last week!

Take Care eveyone
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Hi everyone, sorry I've been AWOL - been busy with home study and visitors   We're 2 visits down and have our individual sessions booked! I'm first next Sunday (30th  !!) 

Curvy cat - so sorry your lost one of your fur babies   I'm sure getting a kitten wouldn't be a problem.

Moppit - I hope you had a great time in France. Unfortunately I won't be able to make the meet on 19th afterall. Will have to meet you and others at the next one! I hope you all have a lovely lunch - I look forward to meeting you some time soon.

L456 - will keep everything crossed for you that the prep course goes to plan   

Recorder - big   I hope you can get started soon.

Rachel - wow October will be here in no time. 

Chocolate Button - good to see you back! Good too to hear that you've started your home study too.


Mavis - hope you're doing well. 

CG xxx


----------



## curvycat

Well HS starts today and I am so stressed! 

My imagination has ran away with me and I am thinking the strangest of things! 

In my world I have been followed and they have taped anything I may have said in jest or joking and will come tonight and say "on the so and so night you said you would kill your dp and so now you cant adopt!" 

Anyone else get this paronoid?

I am so scared that they may say no and it will be my fault! 

Sorry for the rant but I am feeling very obsessed!


----------



## Moppit

Curvy Cat - being nervous is natural. I reckon the SW would be worried if you werent. I was really nervous before our first HS but the SW soon put me at ease and I have even started to enjoy the sessions. I think an important thing to remember is that you have already been assessed quite alot and starting the HS is a major commitment for your agency/LA so they wouldnt go ahead with it unless they were pretty sure you were going to end up being approved adopters. I know it can happen that things come up in the HS which mean people don't end up getting approved but it seems in more cases than not (I think I saw a really high statistic something like 98%) people who start the HS end up being approved as adopters. You have already come so far and jumped so many hurdles you will be absolutely fine with the HS. Focus on the positive this is the most important bit of the assesment which means that you are now getting close to that final goal of becoming a Mummy.

Good luck today and let us know how it goes.

Mx


----------



## wynnster

Well put Moppit  

Best of Luck CurvyCat - Enjoy it, I enjoyed ours as I love to talk about myself


----------



## mavis

Hi Curvy,

Just wanted to reply to your post.

I think the outcome that we all aim for from this process means so much that we do get ourselves into such a state.

I know that you are happy wiht your SW so that is a good start too.

It's great news that you are underway, I will be thinking fo you boht tonight - sooo exciting : ) : ) : )

You will be great, you are sensitive because you care and thats no bad thing.

Love to you as always,

mave x


----------



## MrsPoogs

Hello

Hope everyone enjoyed the weekend the weather was fab  

Well DH and went out to dinner with our parents yesterday and told them we have a meeting with our LA on Weds, so I feel pleased now our families know we are moving ahead.  Not to sure what to expect of our meeting on Weds just glad its come round quickly.

Moppit - welcome back from your holiday  , glad you had a lovely time.  Good choice for Covent Garden re: the meet up its great there with so many places to eat to choose from!  I often meet friends for lunch round there.  Thank you for organiing the meet on 19th I think its a great idea.  

L456 = welcome back too from your camping trip!    Sorry to read before your situation re: your nephew is still difficult    I am off camping this friday for 2 nights (and am not a camper - never camped before!!) my DH likes camping so I thought I would give it a try I just hope it doesn't rain as that will certainly "dampen" my mood BIG TIME!!!  

Curvycat - good luck today  

Mavis - hello  

Hi to everyone else  

I wanted to ask as I have seen some posts regarding the contacting of "ex's".  I was just wondering if the agencies always contact your ex's or only some cases, I was with my ex for 10 years and we separated 12 years ago, would they still want to contact him, sorry if this sounds silly its just worrying me a bit.

Love MrsPoogs xx


----------



## mavis

Moppit, Glad you had a great hol, glad u got post ok and was helpful.

CB, Great to see you back and that you are feelign brighter.

L456, Your break sounded great - hope ur preps will be sorted now, Thank you for asking I am doing good, keeping my head down. 

CG, Lovely to see you back too, sound slike you are steaming through your hs - choo choo, hope your dh is better?

Rev, Sorry I couldnt help you, hope things are working out for you.

Sonia, How did you do? hope ur ok.

Mrs Poogs, Good Luck for Weds : )

Rachelbee, Great news, you have done really well - you must be v proud of yourselves : )

I think we have 3 sessions left all tidying up ones now and may ahve to get medicals redone due to time it has taken, hopefully not though  becaise of the £££'s! overall have quite enjoyed the HS experience and looking forward to panel.

Love to everyone and those I havent mentioned,

mavis x


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## mavis

Mrs Poogs,

I can only speak from my point of view re ex's my sw did not want to know as like yours was over 10 years ago and we didnt have any children together and he didnt have any that I could look after either, often I think they like to see fi kids were involved and or if it was more recent.

I am sure some more experienced people will be along soon.

mavis x


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## Cotswold Girl

Curvy - I hope your home study went well today. I'm sure they'll love you   I think we're all mega worried about what we might say or do that could go against us but as Moppit said if you've got to this stage there's a pretty good chance that you're going to be approved at the end of the home study. Let us know how it went  

Sonia - I hope your visit went well. 

Mavis - DH fine thanks. Yes, hoping to steam through the home study if we can - our SW said that hopefully we can go to panel in January the other visits go ok   Fingers crossed that will be the case!

MrsPoogs - I hope the sun shines for you this weekend   My DH wants to go camping but I like my home comforts too much! 

CG xxx


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Rev LLL - nice to see you here.... did anyone answer your question? not read back yet


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## curvycat

Well first HS over and it was absolutely fine! 

I told her about my major paronioa and she laughed and said she wouldnt be in the car taking notes on our comings and goings any time soon! 

Thank you all for your messages of support although I am sure I will be back into stress head mode in a few weeks time again. 

Mavis OH MY GOD just read your post fully!! 3 more sessions wow!! So glad for you babe as you really have had a tough old ride xxxxx 

CG panel in Jan wow! Fingers crossed.

Mrs Poogs they have said they will contact mine as I lived with him but didnt seem to stressed out about it, he has a son though so they may need to interview him.

Moppit thank you very much for your wise words, in such a time of intense emotion a sound of reason! 

CB hello! 

To everyone else hope you are having a good day/night/evening xx


----------



## mavis

Hey curvy,

I know I know  

Good on you, well done  

Really pleased you are underway and it went well for you.

mave x


----------



## Moppit

Morning Lovely Ladies!

Curvy - So glad that your first HS study went well adn that your SW has a sense of humour. Very exciting that you are now firmly on your way!

CB - Great news about going to panel in March. Ours is on February 9th so we won't be far ahead of you and as you can see from my ticker it really isnt very long to wait!

Mavis - You are so nearly there, very exciting and so deserved. Do you have any idea of a panel date yet?


Mrs Poogs - Glad you have told your family, all our family and friends know and are really excited about our journey. They are always asking questions and trying to get informed which is lovely.

L456 - Fingers very firmly crossed that the dates are okay for DH.

Sonia - How did it go?

Rev - I don't have any experience on the exes thing but I have read about it on the boards. I am absolutely sure that the SW knows you well enough by now that she will take everything your ex says with a pinch of salt. Seems ridiculous that they have to be interviewed if children are not involved. 

Love to everyone else.

Mx


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

How are you all. I am okay. Well as you know we had our pre-assessment interview last week, it went well. The choccie biscuits went down a treat. She asked us lots of different questions such as our previous jobs, where we lived (my dad was in the RAF so I moved around a lot when I was younger), what our childcare experience was (My DH has to do more childcare experience like voluntry experience, where as I used to be a nanny) what our support networks are. Basically she started writing down all our answers to her questions and I had already written it all out so gave her a copy of what I wrote. (Basically took on board what everyone on this thread had said about the sort of questions asked and so wrote about it as preperation )

The next step is waiting for the application form, she has given the CRB form to fill in when the application form comes through we have to send that off at the same time. We are on the prep course in January 2010. As we would like siblings we have to build an extension on our house for an extra bedroom (which we knew anyway - we live in a 2 bedroom house).

But overall it went well. Lets hope the next social worker who is actually going to do our assessment is nice too.

Anyway hope you are all okay

Luv Sonia xx


----------



## mavis

Sonia,

Yey, glad it went well for you, Well Done : )

mavis x


----------



## Moppit

Sonia - Great news that your initial interview went so well. You are now firmly on your way - yipeee!

Have a good day virgins!

Mx


----------



## L456

Hey everyone,

How are you all??

Sonia - glad it all went well.  It is interesting that they have said you will need more room.  My DH and I mentioned to our SW that we were looking into extending into the loft as we were aware that as we had only a 2 bed 4 person house we would only be able to take up to 2 children and same sex.  But she told us that depending on their age it may not make a difference and not to worry about it too much.

We have had a letter today with our new dates for our prep course.  So our first evening one will be on the 15th (DH will not be able to go as he will be at sea!) and the others will be in Oct.  So as long as it remains like that (and no change in DH ships programme) will mean that we should still be going to panel in January.

Got another meeting with our SW tomorrow morning (our 5th) it will be another tough one - we had to talk about our 'identity' last time!

Take care all
xxxx


----------



## mavis

Hi L456,

Hope your other meeting with sw went well.

I am glad you have your prep dates through - I have my fingers, toes arms and legs crossed for you  

Love,

mavis x


----------



## Moppit

Morning Ladies


Feeling a little depressed this morning. Have any of you attended any Adoption UK events? I attend one for my area last night (the first I've been too) specifically for prospective adopters. It was a bit of an eye opener as most of the people there had been approved and had been waiting for months and months for a match. I guess I always knew that it could be a long wait after panel but everything our SW had been saying had made me think that perhaps it wouldnt be. I know its best to be realistic and this has bought me down to earth with a bump. With panel in February I had been dreaming about perhaps having our child by the summer and spending it with all my friends who are pregnant at hte moment and who will be on maternity leave. I now realise that this is probably very unrealistic and its been a real reality check. I think when you are going through the HS its fine because you have milestones to work towards and you are in a process that has an end goal, panel but when this is done and you are approved there are no milesstones and the process doesnt exist anymore and it seems that you are just waiting and waiting. I'm absolutely dreading this.

Mx


----------



## curvycat

I do understand Moppit. 

I have been to meetings and actually found it quite reasurring that there were real people who had adopted and not these perfect people I had imagined. 

Try not to spend too much energy on what might happen because you still have so much ahead of you. You dont know what profile they are looking for or indeed what they have to offer a child. 

Your experience will be different because it is yours. The right child/children is out there for us and hopefully we will find them soon but as soon as they are in our arms the wait wont matter xxx


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Moppit, Sorry you found the event a little depressing in terms of how long the wait might be after approval   Everyones situation will be different and while some will have to wait months for a good match others do seem to be matched quite quickly after approval. I know it's frustrating and depressing when all you want to do is get on with family life but your little one(s) will be out there waiting for the right time to meet you. Like Curvy Cat said once you've met the wait will have been worth it  

CG xxx


----------



## Mx4321

I have got to say the period of time from approval to matching was the most frustrating time as the lack of structure and deadlines really got to me in the end.

i was okay for the first three months or so but then became a right so and so about it all.

One thing I would suggest which would have helped me more is to arrange with SW a timetable for ongoing communication post approval.

Even if its only a once a month email it at least gives the waiting period some framework.


----------



## L456

Hey all,

Just a quickie as I am at work and lunch should have been over 5 minutes ago!

Moppit - sending    Hope you are feeling a little better about things.  I too have the same concerns and worries - espcially as we will not be allowed to be matched until DH is shorebased and although he can put preferences in as to where he would like to me it is ultimately up to some bod behind a desk to decide where he should go.  So when he leaves the ship next Oct we have no idea where he is going!

I am looking forward to meeting some of you in a few weeks!!  

Hope that you are all well and those on home studies it is all going to plan
xxx

xxxx


----------



## Moppit

London Meet up​Saturday 19th of September​1pm​The Mediterranean Kitchen, 24 Cambridge Circus​Set Menu, 13.50 per head​
Restaurant booked so hoping that lots of you can still make it. At the moment I have Mrs Poogs, L456, Fire Opal and Nova confirmed with DH/DP's. More still welcome just let me know if you can make it!

Moppit x


----------



## Nova

Hi Moppit 

I'm sorry but I won't be able to make it. We have decided to delay our adoption journey we aren't sure that its the right thing for us. So we have decided to talk and think more about it. I've contacted our sw and delayed the training courses until we have decided if adoption is were we are at. Thanks for all you help

Nova 
xxxx


----------



## Moppit

Hi Nova

Thanks for letting me know. Good luck with what ever path you decide to take.


Mx


----------



## MrsPoogs

Hi Ladies  

Sorry I haven't posted for a while.  We had our initial visit recently and I came out feeling disappointed and low and felt I couldn't post.  

The meeting last for over 2 hours and I felt for most of the time went well.  I did feel we were really "grilled" at this early stage, but I think DH and I coped well with this.  

However, at the end of the meeting the "interviewer" said they will contact us within 2-4 weeks to inform us of whether we can continue, and that they need to have a "team meeting" to discuss us with the rest of the team.  They said had two areas of concern: (1) being our need for childcare experience, to which I had mentioned I had already thought of this and areas where I can get the experience (they seemed quite happy with my suggestions) and (2) our childcare arrangements for when I would go back to work (part-time) after taking 12 months off.  I felt they were not happy with my going back to work and that they pushed me to ask if it was possible that I could even stay at home full-time.  I said no it wasn't an option.  They then asked what childcare options we would put in place. We responded that at this stage we had put our options on our application form and were they expecting us at this stage to tell them what we would do.  They said no to this, but we would need to think about it, which we were already, but they pushed this further to suggest we should ask my sister or my parents to help out.  I said that I had not discussed this fully with my parents at this stage, and that my sister would be returning to work, they then pushed for me to ask my parents to help out for the three days a week. I totally understand that they are suggesting other options may not be as suitable for adopted children who may/will take longer to settle and will need much more time and care, I just felt disappointed that at this early stage they were pushing me on this issue.  Am I being unreasonable at this stage?  I feel we have failed before we have even got a chance to get going?!    

I am so sorry my post is not "brighter" and that I have not done any personals.  

Hope you have all a lovely weekend.  

Love MrsPoogs  xx


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Nova - it needs to be the right decision and it's important you take time out to be sure what's best for you. Good luck with whatever you decide to do  

Mrs Poogs - sorry you were left feeling so disappointed after your initial visit.   They may just have been trying to test you a bit but I am surprised they pushed the childcare as much as they did when you said you were planning to take 12 months off and only to return part-time. We haven't completely decided on our arrangements for when I return to work either but our SW seemed happy with that as I said I would be looking into it but hadn't decided yet as we didn't know what age children we'd be considered for. If they had some concerns about your childcare experience it might be worth doing something positive about that as soon as you can just to show how commited you are but I don't think you should have to ask your mum to offer to look after your littlies unless you feel you want to or your mum offers. Perhaps others can offer some better advice  

All well with us, I've had my 1-2-1 which wasn't anywhere near as bad as I feared it might be   We're now 4 visits down and counting   SW very nice too which helps. I may well miss these visits and my tidy house  

CG xx


----------



## MrsPoogs

Nova  

Cotswold Girl - thanks   

I don't really understand why at this stage they were so concerned about our childcare arrangements and my returning to work. They even asked if there was anything we could do regarding our finances so I could stay at home.  I felt that this was quite unfair as our application clearly stated I wouldbe returning to work  .  I was quite annoyed about this and even questionned them as to how many people are able to stay at home?  I feel sad now   and my feelings are confused about the meeting.  I felt also very conscious that the main interviewer was constantly giving me the once over all throughout the interview!  My DH asked me if we should go suited/booted and I said no, I wear smart clothes to work every day and I didn't want to wear a suit to this interview so I went smart/casual and in jeans and perhaps that didn't go down well.   Sorry am waffling abit now.  I suppose I am now expecting to receive a letter from the LA saying something like we are not suitable or not ready at this time.  

Love MrsPoogs xx


----------



## Camly

MrsP

Massive   to you.  I know where ur coming from.  We have obvisouly had these discussions too - but the main time was just before we were going to panel and he head sw'er came and had a chat with us etc.  she more or less was saying what ur sw'er was saying.  the way we 'got round it' so to speak was by saying 'yes, we need me to work part time financially but was willing to do whatever it took i.e part time job at night when DH home or weekends when DH was home'  whatever it took we would do.they seemed to be happy enough with this.  we have waited a long time for a family so of course we would work round whatever we had to.

hope this helps abit and u dont feel so alone and  

take care
x x x x x

hi to all other virgins x x x x


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone
Hope you are all well

*Mrs Poogs * - We had our pre-assessment visit the other week and she asked us also about mine and my DH childcare experience, she was quite happy with my childcare experience as I had looked after children and also worked with children, but with my DH she said that he will need more childcare experience (even though he looked after the same children I was looking after too - and believe me we have come across so many different types of behaviours coming from siblings - my friend's 4 children) but DH has to find more childcare experience like voluntary work. As for the going back to work, I told the social worker that I was stopping work full time to be at home full time (can't wait for that moment when I hand in my notice to my    boss as at this moment in time she is really winding me up    ) but I said if needs must financially I will go back part time and work in the evenings and weekends when my DH is at home to look after the child/children if the child is of pre-school age. If the child is of school age then I will work part-time during the school hours. She seems to be happy with this.

*Moppit* - Hi, I would like to attend the meet up on the 19th September in London, it will be just me I am afraid as DH has got something else on - yep you have guessed it - the footie   but hopefully if we have another meet up he will be able to come along (just don't organise it on the day Aston Villa is playing at home  )

As for me, well we are still waiting for the application form to apply formally, hope it comes soon.

Anyway hope everyone is okay

Have a nice weekend

Luv Sonia xx


----------



## L456

Good Morning all you lovely virgins!

I hope that you all had good weekends and are raring to go for another week of work??

Well I have just dropped my DH at the dockyard after having him home for the last 4 weeks.  He is straight out to sea for a week and back Friday at some point. This will be our routine for the next 3 weeks so there is no home visits until October now.  It seems weird that we wont be seeing our SW for the next few weeks as we have now had 5 of our 8 meetings and it has been full on for as many weeks.  However I have my prep inductin evening next week to look forward to (DH is not able to go).  Just have to have everything crossed that DH is still ok to make the other meetings and prep course - and the ship has not changed its programme during summer leave.

Mrs Poogs - We broached this subject with our SW last time and mentioned that I would have to go back work after taking a year off and she did not seem to mind.  She was keen to concentrate on the fact that the child/ren we might be matched with could be school age and therefore it would not be so much of an issue.  I am not sure if he lack of 'worry' was a good or a bad thing.

Well I had better get on and get myself ready for a fun filled day at work (not!)  

xxxxxx


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

Just asking but is there anyone who around my area - Worcestershire (Birmingham/Warwickshire or nearby) going to the meet up on the 19th if so could I tag along with you please.

Hope everyone is okay

Sonia xx


----------



## Moppit

Morning Lovely Ladies

Just over a week until our meet up on the 19th and really looking forward to it. I hope all those that have said they can come (Mrs poogs, L456, Fire Opal, Nova and Sonia 7) are still able to make it. There is still room for more so if anyone else is interested just let me know. Don't worry about being shy, we are all in exactly the same situation and it is going to be fantastic to meet all of you and share stories and experiences. I'll send a PM to you all next week as a reminder with directions but looking forward to it!

L456 - Sorry to hear that your DH is away again, must be hard to say goodbye but at least he's back at the weekends. Great news that you have got so far with your HS and have everything crossed that the dates work out for the next stage. My DH also works away from home alot (although he is not in the forces) so I know what it is like not to have them around during the week. We'll definately have to support eachother when our children arrive and we are alone with them!

Mrs Poogs - I'm sorry that you are feeling down about your initial visit. I honestly think the intention is to test you but it sounds like you dealt with the questinos very well and I bet they will move forward with you. We had quite a tough initial interview too and I was terrified they wouldnt move forward with us but they have so try to remain positive. The returning to work thing is a difficult one and I too was shocked when this came up in the first meeting. We ended up saying that my intention was to return to work after a year but that we would reveiw this based on the child and if it wasnt a good idea we would find a way for me to stay at home. I think most people are in the position where they couldnt afford to live on one salary but I think they want to hear taht you would put the child first whatever happens. The reality is that by the time you come to be going back to work the SW's will have no control over you anyway as it is likely that by then you will have officially adopted your child and will be like any other parent ie able to make decisions about your child and childcare yourself.

As for me well we had our 3rd HS interview this week and it was one of the individual ones. Spent 2.5 hours talking about my childhood and difficult relationship with my mother which was all quite cathartic. We only got through half the questions though so I have to have a 2nd session next week. Apparently this is not uncommon for the individual interview but did leave me thinking that I shouldnt talk too much!

Love to all you brave and lovely ladies.

Mx


----------



## Fire Opal

Hi hun, very sorry but i won't be able to come on the 19th, since our start AD meeting hubby not ready to think about it yet and we have also been booked in for IVF in Nov, not totally happy about it but this WILL be our final go. Hubby doesn't want to give up yet, 

Hope ya all well and getting on well with your studys 
Much love lovely ladies  

Fire Opal


----------



## MrsPoogs

Hello

Moppit - hi, how are you?  Glad to hear that your HS is moving along well.  Thanks for your reply, I feel a little better now about things and really appreciated your response.  I had a chat with a good friend of mine who also said to me - they are testing you.  I do just hope that DH and I responded well to the "grilling".  I am so honest that it is hard for me to think on my feet sometimes.  I did say we had considered moving recently; and they then questionning "what downsizing your house...?", and I responded "no, we would move to a different area which meant we would gain a bigger house for less money"  , but then explained that by doing this we would be moving away from our "support network" which is not what they would want!!!  Anyway, I do hope that we get the chance to move things forward to the next stage - they have said we should hear within 2-4 weeks so its been 2 weeks fingers crossed  

Fireopal - good luck with your tx, my DH was the same as yours   

L456 - hiya, my week at work is dragging and I just had my appraisal which has made me blue although it was good but it is always so hard to take criticism!!!!  You seemed to have moved along really quickly with your meetings which is really good news  

Camly - thank you also for response, I have been so worried we didn't do well and am feeling better now reading of other people's experiences.  I keep thinking my Jeans let me know LOL!!!

Sonia - thanks for your response too.  It so hard as all this came up again at the end of the meeting and when asked to "think about these 2 issues" I kinda thought "what else is to think about at the moment until we know where we are going" I was drained but hope I didn't show it too much - I am a "heart on my sleve gal" everyone can read my feelings cos its all over my face!!!   

Love MrsPoogs xx


----------



## Non-Bio Mummy

Not sure if this is the right place for me  

I am just starting the process of adopting my twins! I'm in a same sex relationship and my DW carried the boys so I will have to adopt them. 

Not sure of all the process yet as we are awaiting for the forms to come through the post but have been told that it will take 9 months to complete if we pass everything!

Michelle


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Moppit - it's amazing how quickly the 1-2-1s go isn't it - I thought 2 hours talking about myself would drag but it flew by! Thankfully managed to do it in one installment though! Good luck with round 2  

L456 - time must really drag when your DH is away. I hope all stays on course for your prep course etc. It's great that the navy and your DH's ship are helping out as much as they can. 

Michelle - welcome! Sorry to hear that you've got to wait at least 9 months for you twins to be legally yours. At least you'll be able to prove your childcare experience 

Mrs Poogs - I hope you get confirmation that you can proceed soon hun. The waiting is hard but once you get started it will be worth it.  

Sonia - have you had your forms yet?

Camly - have you got any news yet? I hope you're not finding the wait too bad  

Hi's to CurvyCat, Mavis, Sonia and anyone else I've missed.

Visit number 6 for us this Sunday then medicals on Tuesday. Too late to start a diet I guess  

CG xx


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Fire Opal - good luck with your treatment   

CG xxx


----------



## MrsPoogs

Hi everyone,

We received our letter from the LA on Saturday morning. It said that we needed to take time to read several books (which were recommended by them) and also to get lots of experience with a broad range of children (age wise), so that we both understood the needs of adopted children vs secure birth children and childcare!  (I assume they were referring to my discussing with my sister about possible sharing a childminder and I had put this on my form.) We were then to contact them again in 6 months to discuss our progress. I was so upset to get this letter, but as I felt the childcare was going to be an issue as we were asked to go away and think about it after being told it would be better for my parents to look after [our] adopted child/ren.

At the moment I feel angry and confused and really am not sure what we will do. My DH and I have read the letter several times and understand what they are saying. However, we feel annoyed as the Senior person interviewing us was dreadful and obviously homed in on these two issues.

On top of this my firm has advised that they will be make four people in my position or the equivalent of four full-time positions redundant. We have been offered voluntary redundancy and the package is very good, I could take upto 6 months off, if I budget wisely and then if we decided to continue with the adoption (which in my heart I want to - and I don't give up that easily am just mad at the moment    ), I could use this time to get lots of experience by going to my SIL school as she is a teaching assistant and helping out a playgroup my sister's friend runs locally and a sunday school club my SIL helps run!. The last year or so has been so tough that I am seriously considering opting for the voluntary redundancy and taking some time out.

Moppit - am so sorry to let you down, I really don't like cancelling, but I feel under the circumstances, with so much to consider, I can't attend the lunch on Saturday. Thank you for the invite and arranging this for us, I would, however, be very keen to meet in the future even if just for a coffee with you and any of the other ladies, CG is very easy for me to get too.  

Sorry to everyone else for lack of personals. 

Love MrsPoogs xxx


----------



## mavis

Mrs Poogs, sending you a pm, x


----------



## Chocolate Button

Mrs Poggs I am so sorry Huni. Just wanted to say I am thinking of you. x 

we are moving along nicely now and are well into our homestudy. Our references have been contacted and they have all had the relevant forms sent out. We have filled out our medical forms and have returned them to VA. We will now have to see GP for medical. I am soooo dreading this as I think my weight will be an issue.    I am really worried about this as I put on so much during IVF.
All of the rest is going so well and I am delighted. Looks like we could be at panel anytime between Dec - Feb. 
I have been feeling so good about the whole process and our SW is fantastic. 

Love and Hugs to everyone. xx


----------



## Moppit

Mrs Poogs - I am so sorry to hear about the letter but it isnt all bad. It sounds like the agency will move forward with you positively in a few months time. I know it seems like forever to wait and yet another hoop to jump through but you will, I promise, get there in the end! Don't give up. Keep fighting. One day this will all be behind you and the time you waited will feel like nothing when you are finally a Mummy which I know 100% you will be one day! Sorry you can't make it on Saturday but I completely understand.

Everyone else can I confirm that the following are still able to make it on Saturday:

L456 + DH
Nova
Sonia 7

Let me know if there are any others. Sonia 7 and Nova I don't think you were bringing your DPs/DH's but let me know they are very welcome.

Mx


----------



## Moppit

Sonia 7 - Just tried to PM you with details for Saturday but your message box is full. Let me know when its clear and I'll resend. 

Mx


----------



## wynnster

Mrs Poogs

I am very sorry to read what you have been told    Such a blow when you feel like you really want to move forward.  However as you have said yourself it might actually be more of a blessing in disguise if you did take the voluntary redundancy.  Don't give up!!  It will all be a distant memory in years to come


----------



## MrsPoogs

Hello

Mavis - thank you for your pm  

Chocolate B - thanks  

Moppit -  will be thinking of you sat  

Wynnster -   thank you

Thank you all for your kind words    I don't give up that easily and I don't want to leave the adoption virgins' thread - I will still read to see how you are all doing and post to let you know how I am doing, best of luck  

Love MrsPoogs xxxx


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

Hope you are okay.

Moppit - My mum would like to come to the meet up on Saturday. We are making a day of it in London.

Still waiting for the application form

See you all on Saturday

Sonia xx


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Mrs Poogs - I'm so sorry to hear that SS are making you get more childcare experience before letting you proceed    Like others have said though they haven't said they don't want to proceed with you so once you've got some more experience under your belt you'll have demonstrated just how serious and ready for this you are. I know how hard it is when you get this sort of set back but please don't give up and like you say maybe the voluntary redundancy is just the excuse you need to have a career break    

Take care sweetie and don't make any hasty decisions until you've had time to think. You know we're here if you need to chat any time. 

CG xxx


----------



## Moppit

Sonia 7 - Great news that your Mum is coming too! I have tried to PM you again with all the details but your inbox is still full. Can you clear it? I would put the details on here but wanted to provide you with my mobile number that I probably shouldnt put on the open site.

Nova - Yet to hear from you. Really hope you can still make it.

Mx


----------



## popsi

Hi Everyone.. hope your all doing ok and looking forward to your meeting on the weekend, and all going well with your journeys

moppit... Nova posted this a few days ago, i think you may have missed it, hope you dont mind me posting it as i though it would help with your plans

Mavis whats happenig with you now, have you finished your HS 

love to you all ... sorry not posted much lately, I am on the agonising waiting to be matched xx



Nova said:


> Hi Moppit
> 
> I'm sorry but I won't be able to make it. We have decided to delay our adoption journey we aren't sure that its the right thing for us. So we have decided to talk and think more about it. I've contacted our sw and delayed the training courses until we have decided if adoption is were we are at. Thanks for all you help
> 
> Nova
> xxxx


----------



## MissSunshine

Hi all,

Hope you're all well. 
I might be able to make it on Saturday......is it too short notice to put my name down? I might ask my mum if she want's to come along to, as David will be working........?!

Love Rhonda.XxX


----------



## sonia7

Hello everyone

Hope you are all okay

MOPPIT - I have cleared my inbox.

RHONDA - It would be great if your mum could come along too. So the grandmothers could talk to eachother too.

I had a bad day today the boss asked me a question and I tried to explain the answer and got told that I was being stroppy and rude.   It really upset me. Been crying most of the day and evening, had a chat with DH as I just wanted to leave there and then but DH says that questions might be asked to why I have changed jobs (from Adoption people). So gonna stick it out and keep out of her way.    

Sonia xx


Hope see you all on Saturday.


----------



## XchardonnayX

Hi,

Really hope you don't mind me joining the thread. Not sure where I should be posting this.

I have been reading this site for about 2 years now but up until now on the IVF pages. We have decided enough is enough and we can't go through another IVF cycle. We have decided to try adoption and the more we read the more we fall in love with it, but we don't know where to start. I'm sure you all have the information that we need but don't want to ask loads of basic questions. Do you know the best place to get this information please?

I thought I would be feeling really down about stopping IVF but I'm really excited about adoption!

*Sonia:* I also life in Worcestershire so maybe once I get my head round things we could meet up.

Thank you in advance for you help and information.


----------



## pinkorblue

Hi everyone  

Please can I join you all on this thread. We are just at the very beginning of this whole adoption minefield and are very very scared. We are not scared of adopting just the hoops we are gonna have to jump through to get our hearts desire (we hope).

We had a meeting with a SW on 7th Sept and at that meeting we were told we would hve to write a formal letter to apply to the adoption team......well we have and we got a letter back on Sat morning saying a SW will be in contact in the next 4 weeks to chat further and fill in the initial application forms. So that is as far as we have got so far, but DH and I don't know anyone going through this and would value some friends for the next few milestones.

Lots of love
pinkorblue


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Sonia - sorry to hear your boss is being a pain    

Popsi - have been wondering where you were. How is the wait going? Have you been given any idea how long you might be waiting for a match? I hope you don't have too long a wait ahead.  

Chardonnay - welcome   Like you I found stepping off the IVF rollercoaster a huge relief and it's certainly not a place I'd want to go back to. Starting the adoption process gave me renewed hope and a sense that we can and will be a family. If we can help with anything just let us know. The adoption boards on this site are a brilliant source of information and support so I'd recommend searching through old threads and posts if you haven't already done so. Personally I'd avoid reading the adoption UK site/forums until you've at least read all the positive posts on FF!

Pinkorblue - welcome   I'm sure you'll find lots of support here and a wealth of knowledge from the lovely ladies on this and the other adoption threads. It really does help to share the journey with others who know what you're going through   I hope you hear back from the SW soon. 

Mavis - how are you? I hope all's well  

Chocolate Button -I know what you mean about medicals - was quietly dreading mine - I think after IVF etc you sort of expect to hear bad news whenever you go to the Drs! It's all relatively straightforward though - DH and I had ours today. Worse thing was he had to measure our waist size of all things! I'd have gone on a diet if I'd known that was one of the checks   

Moppit - sorry not to be joining you this weekend. Hopefully catch you and others at a future meeting. 

Curvy Cat - how are the wedding plans going? Bet you can't wait to be on that beach and married  

CG xx


----------



## mavis

Hi CG, Popsi - Thank you both for asking.  Things are still grinding along slowly (at least they are moving ish!) our sw on hols till end of month so hope to pick up again after that.  Getting there tho thanks for asking. Popsi decorating? does it look good? How are you? I hope you get some good news soon, CG How you doing? I never had to have my waist meausred - eurgh thankfully - poor you, I am overweight too CB so try not to worry they look at everything as a whole.(nice to see you back on again againx)

Hi to pinkorblue and chardonnay and welcome to the thread too  

Missing you Curvy but loving you.

Keep ur chin up Mrs P  

Sonia sorry you had a bad day - hope ur feelign a little better.

Hope you all have a great meet up.

Love to you all,

mavis x


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Mavis - what you didn't have the pleasure   of having your vital statistics taken!! Can't imagine why they want it but it was asked for on our forms! Felt like I was being fitted for a suit  

Well girls, have to share some good news with you - we have a panel date of 11 Dec!!! Amazed and happy that it's this side of Christmas. Will be working on my family book now.

CG xxx


----------



## mavis

CG, That's lovely news - really pleased for you    mavis x


----------



## popsi

cg.. great about panel.. we had our measurements taken .. something to do with BMI but dont worry it will be fine xx

mavis.. great things are moving with you even if its slow

love to you all on this incredible journey xx


----------



## Moppit

Dear Rhonda

Really hope you and are your Mum are definately coming tomorrow!

So looking forward to meeting you!

Caroline x


----------



## Moppit

And very much looking forward to seeing Sonia7 and Rhonda too!

Mx


----------



## MissSunshine

Yes we are coming!!!  Really looking forward to it!!XxX


----------



## Chocolate Button

CG that is fantastic news Huni. I am so pleased for you.  

Well our medicals have been and gone. I didn't get the impression from our GP that there was any problems. BUT I would like to pick your brains a little. Both myself and DH have blood and protein in our urine and have to hand in another sample next week.
Is this anything to worry about?
I am a little nervous about it. 
Anyway its Friday and I am off to enjoy the weekend.

Love and Hugs to all. xxxx


----------



## popsi

CB.. its usually a sign of a UTI or sugar.. i am sure nothing to worry about x


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Hi everyone, I hope you're all well and you enjoyed meeting up on Saturday. It's lovely to see some sunshine again. Roll-on the weekend  

Chocolater Button - really pleased that your medical went ok. I'm sure your GP would have said something to you if there was anything to worry about - hopefully the next sample will be clear.   

Rhonda - How are you finding the run up to matching panel? I bet you're getting mega excited and wishing the weeks away  

Some of our reference interviews are happening this week - seems strange thinking that our friends will be talking to our Social Worker about us   

CG xx


----------



## Moppit

Good Morning Lovely Ladies

Been a bit quiet on here this week! Hope everyone is okay. Lovely sunny day today to lift our spirits  

CG - I know what you mean about the references, our SW said she'd be contacting ours pretty soon. Intruiged to know who she is going to choose although she has already let on that one of them will be my parents. Wonder if she'll also interview DH's parents or whether the rest will be friends.

I attended a really interesting conference last week run by the adoption consortium my LA is a part of it was all about attachment. The speaker was the woman who wrote the book 'What every parent needs to know' which you might have seen. Its not a specific adoption book but talks all about the impact on the brain of not attaching in the first 3 years of life. The conference was fascinating but again underlined the fact that the younger you get a child the better in terms of the actual physical damage that can be done to the brain. Its not impossible to turn around but much more difficult the longer they are not in a secure situation before being adopted. She showed some amazing brainscans which clearly illustrate the effects and I learnt alot about the make up of the human brain and how we think/react to things. 

Our meet up on Saturday went really well. It was lovely to meet Sonia7 and Rhonda and so good to share our stories. We are all at different stages of the adoption journey so a perfect mix and really useful for all of us.

I am planning to organise another meet up before Christmas and was wondering if there is a location perhaps outside of London where more people might be able to come. 

Mx


----------



## mavis

Hi Everyone,

Hope you are all well.

CG, References ahve any happened yet - exciting? it's all feels a bit surreal.

Moppit that conference sounded really good I have read the book it was by Margot Sunderland right? glad the meet up went well.

CB, I had protein in my urine as well and it just went down on the form and nothing was/has been said by medical advisor, hope you are relaxing a bit more now.  

Love to you all,

mavis x


----------



## curvycat

Hi all 

Sorry I have been MIA for a while! 

Only 2 weeks now to the wedding and 2nd hs visit down! 

Things are MAD!!! 

Hope everyone is well xx


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

Hope you are all okay

I had a message on my answer phone yesterday from the adoption agency wanting to know more details about my time in Moldova, I did 3 months in Moldova teaching 5 year old russian children english. And she said she would like more details. I hope she doesn't want a reference from them as I think the organisation I was with is no longer there. As I went there when I was 21 years old and that was in 1995. So rang them back and the person I needed to speak to isn't in the office until tuesday. 

*Curvy cat * - Good Luck.

Sonia xx


----------



## Forever mummy 😀

hi im new to this board

after alot of thinkng me and dh have decided to go donw the adoption route. We have undergone 3 ICSI's and had one bio chemical pregnancy. As we cant afford any more tx and nhs refusing funding in my area we have decided we will have our family through adoption. We have sent of the form saying we are interested in adopting and would like if possible a younger child. Now not sure wot happens. Hubby is in armed forces and will be deployed next year so if were required to do courses it will be a bit tricky. Lokking forward to getting to no u all.

Louise xx


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## mavis

Hi Louise,

Welcome. There are lots of lovely ladies on here who i am sure will be along soon too.

Sometimes it can depened on areas how things are done but they are largely the same, if it is like our agency you should get to hear back from the agnecy you sent the enquiry form off too, I think ours took appx 6 weeks and we got invited to an open day/eve where we could go along and talk and see soem stands and get some more info, there were also speakers at ours one was a sw talking about the jounrye and another was a lady who had adopted and told her story which really helpoed too.

I know there are some other ladies on here with partners in the forces too so it could be good for you to talk around stuff with regard to that.

Have you looked on your agnecy website they should outline process and appx timescales on there also so you can prepare youself a little more.

I wish you well, congratulations on your decision.

ask away if we can help.

mavis x


----------



## Suzie

Sorry to butt in but just wanted to say to Moppit I have seen the lady you are talking about speak twice now on attachment and she is really good  I knew nothing about attachment until I started fostering and then C came into our lives and I had to find out pretty quick   

I know that they say that the younger the better to help with the attachment issues BUT ( and I am not saying all  ) secure attachments can be built a bit later in their lives  C was classed as ( hate this term) "unadoptable" when he came to us aged 23 months and with a lot of hard work from me/us and him, 6 months later he was ready to be adopted   turned out to be us  

Sorry seemed to have rambled  but just wanted to say that sometimes the whole attachment issue can really scare people and I just wanted to say that with a little bit of elbow grease  lovely secure attachments can be formed

Sorry will go away now  

Lots of  for you all on your journeys


----------



## Moppit

Suzie - Thanks for your post. Really interesting to hear your experiences of attachment. The lecture was interesting but was concious as you ahve shown that alot of it is theory and every child is different so there is always hope even for older children.

Louise03 - Welcome to the board. You have definately come to the right place. All the ladies on here are absolutely fantastic and there are lots of good, positive experiences of adoption both on here and on teh other adoption boards. In terms of your forces link, I believe there is some sort of adoption agency or adoption charity that focuses specifically on couples from teh forces to ensure that the process can be fitted in around forces work commitments. It would definately be worth getting information on this to help you and I know there are some forces people on this board and others. Next step should be for you to be invitied to an information session if you havent already done this and then an initial visit at home from a couple of social workers. You are on your way which is great news!

Ladies some advice from those of you who have already had your referees interviewed. I wondered what your referees said the experience was like. My parents have just been contacted to say that our SW will visit them in early November and they are wondering what kind of things might be covered. I have in the past had quite a difficult relationship with my Mum and within my family there are some difficult relationships particularly between my brother and my parents who do not see eachother. We talked about this at length in my individual session and just wondering if she is likely to speak to my parents about it as well. If so I probably need to preapre them as its something they find hard to talk about.

Any thoughts gratefull apprciated.

Mx


----------



## Chocolate Button

Hi Louise and welcome. xx

Just wanted to pick your brains on something.
We are really whizzinh through our homestudy and everything has been going so well. Until today. A wee spanner has been thrown in the works.
SW has said not to get too worked up about this, but as we live in a flat, have no garden and 1 spare room we may be at a disadvantage.
We were looking at sibling groups (which was suggested to us at start of process), we also have a shower not a abath, but thats not a big deal. SW has said that perhaps we should consider moving. This is something we defo want to do, but didn't think now was a great time as we will be at panel Feb time. We are now faced with the dilema....
1/ Do we move house take on a bigger mortgage, but have a garden, 2 spare rooms and take on sibling groups. This would really stretch us financially

2/ Move to a bigger house with 1 spare room, but a garden and only take on 1 child. More of a better option financially

3/ Stay where we are and renovate bathroom and take on 1 child

4/ Stay where we are, renovate bathroom and hope we are offered 2 children (same sex).


SW


----------



## Chocolate Button

Sorry the comp was playing up.

SW did say that the fact we don't have a garden would mean a disadvantage and if there were 2 or 3 couples looking at the same child this may mean they would go to someone else. However, she did say that they would look at our whole situation, the fact we go camping, caravaning and have 2 parks nearby. So we really don't know what is best to do.
Please please give me any thoughts and advice you can think of. Anything will help.


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Hi everyone,

Welcome Louise. As Mavis mentioned the first step is normally an invite to an information evening then and initial visit where you'll learn more about the process and a social worker will explore your reasons for wanting to adopt. After this you'll be invited to a prep course and some time after that you'll do a home study where a social worker will visit you and get to know you over a number of visits (typically 8-10 I think). I hope you're hear back really soon and that the courses etc can be worked around your hubby's deployment.  

Chocolate Button -ooowwww what a dilemma. Before you make any rash decisions it's probably worth considering or asking what delay if any staying in your current home would introduce to matching you with your child(ren). If they've only just mentioned it I suspect they really are considering you as potential parents for siblings but there must be plenty of children that could be placed in the same room at least for the first few years. Moving house before you'd planned to and stretching yourself financially could introduce a lot of stress you could do without right now. There will be all sorts of criteria that are weighed up during matching and having a garden doesn't seem deal breaker to me - especially if you live near a park. If it helps I'm worried our age will go against us in matching and the fact our child(ren) would only have 1 living grand-parent and that in some way these things could go against us if we're being considered against a younger couple with both their parents on their doorstep! So based on that I'd opt for renovating the bathroom and leaving the rest to fate   It can take months to move house and there are bound to be other child(ren) who will easily be accommodated in your current home - if not I think they'd have mentioned it before now! Different of course if SS want to pick up the costs of you upsizing  

CG xxx


----------



## mavis

Hi peeps,

CB, I tend to agree with CG if it were me i think id stay where you are, keep your chin up.

CG, I think I know what you mean about the worries, we all have them i think at the end of the day, what is right for one family may not be for another so take heart there will be a family for you - we all have different qualities and dont lose sight of that.

Moppit, Sw visit, ur sw knows by now enough about your relationship wiht your mum and is easy for me to say not to worry. It is hard when it is out of your control, at the end of the day it all boils down really to you and dh - you will be the parents, yes refs of course matter and ur mum. I think *IF* ur sw were to say anythign shed be very diplomatic and she i wouldnt think would broach it she may go near it and see if your parents say anything *BUT * *to be honest I dont think she woudl bring it up or say anything*, she will talk to them around and about what they wrote on the form and maybe relationships in your family and she would nto repeat back to them - I am sure of it. Try not to worry too much. SW's are trained and very good at dealign with people and difficult situations etc. Also if you ahve told you sw about your mum and how you think she copes and deals with things she will be prepared for this.

Sonia, hope you spoke to who you needed to at agency and things are clearer.

Suzie, thank you for positive story about attachment - you are right we hear too much scare and bad stuff - i always think thinhgs should try and be balanced -it is great to hear stories like yours as it shows it can be done x

love to you all,

mavis x


----------



## pinkorblue

Hi everyone  

Sorry I have no clue who anyone is yet but I am hoping to find out over the next wee while.

Well DH and I have finally received our next letter from the SW saying she is coming to see us next Monday 12th October to start our councelling interviews   can anyone tell me what will happen at the meeting as we have not been to one of the information evenings yet. 

The other wee problem I have is work as I need to ask for time off (I have no leave left) as our meeting is at 3pm but I want to keep our adoption plans private at the moment, we have been told when/if we start home study that these meetings can happen in the evening but until then the SW wants to see us in the day so she can keep her evenings free for home study with other couples and I totally appreciate this. Is there nothing out there in the goverment legislation to let perspective adoptive people time off from work like they do for pregnant mothers?

Looking forward to geting to know some people.

Luv Pinkorblue


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## Moppit

Dear Pink or Blue

Glad things are moving forward.

The time off work issue is a very difficult one and somethign I looked into in detail when I started the process. Unfortunately (and I believe unfairly) there is no legislation to say that an employer has to give you time off for pre placement meetings. The only legislation relating to time off for adoption refers to time off at the time of placement and latterly after placement when the same rules as maternity cover apply. This seems very unfair as most companies have a policy in place to say that 'reasonable' time off will be allowed for pregnant women for ante natal appoitnments and I would argue that as an adoptive parent the meetings we have with social workers are our equivalent. Unfortunately the law doesnt see it that way at the moment.

What I would say though is don't write off your employer. Having understood that there was no legal reason why they should give me time off I spoke to HR and presented the case that I thought it was unfair that they offered time off to pregnant women and not to me. They listened and decided that they would give it to me with the understanding that I would make up any time missed at home in the evenings. This is okay for me as I have a job where this can be done. 

I understand that you don't want to tell your employer about adoption but I would suggest that you speak to HR. This can be done confidentially and they would be breaching their code of conduct if they mentioned it to your boss or team. They should be able to advise you what their policy is and what leeway they are willing to give. I would argue the points I have made about pregnancy and also that this could be viewed in the same way as a medical appointment which they are likely to give you time off for. I believe at the very least they have to agree to give you the time off as unpaid leave if they will not allow you to take it any other way. If this is the case I would suggest you tell a white lie to your team/boss and say you have a medical/personal appointment. You can explain more when you are further into the process.

Good luck with this. What I will say is that you are incredibly lucky that your SW is willing to do your Home Study in the evenings. We were not given this option and have had to have several half days from work to do the study, this has been stressful and I feel very guilty about the amount of time I have had out of the office. 

Moppit x


----------



## Moppit

Lovely Ladies

A question for those of you mid Home Study or post Home Study. We have just been told by our SW that she wants to observe us with a child during a weekend over the next few weeks. We don't have a problem with this and can arrange it but feel that it is yet another hoop we have to jump through. We are about 5 sessions in to the Home Study so starting to feel a little weary with all the constant going over the same ground. It seems hard to believe that there is anything else that our SW can ask at this point! 

Would love to know if anyone else has had to be observed and how it went.

Mx


----------



## Camly

hi moppit

re the interacting with a child and ur sw'er. we kinda had this - our sw'er met with my step kids and asked them different questions etc and also my nephew (aged 4) as were babysitting him etc.  its amazing the hoops we all have to jump thru isnt it?  fingers crossed it will all be worth it.  best of luck x x x x x x x


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## Tarango

hi, 
our social worker observed us with our nephew and also came and did some observation of me in a day nursery where I was a volunteer..... it all helps!!

hope everyone is having a good evening, we are off to an info exchange day at the end of the week so have been putting some flyers together to go with our 'official' profile - my friend said our 'casual' photo made us look like hippies....   
well i like it!! hhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!


xx


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## Cotswold Girl

Tarango - I hope you told her the hippy look was in   If you like the photo that's what matters   Deciding on the "look" for photos that matter so much is sooo very hard, we're trying to choose some for our family album at the moment. Good luck with the info exchange day. I hope your flyers work for you and that this day brings you closer to your family.   

Moppit - our SW asked if she could observe us with children so she saw us with our nephew and god-daughter. It did feel a bit odd but she found it helpful and said it would make it easier for her to confirm what we're like with children at panel so we thought it was worth the extra hoop   You'll probably find that they are happy to see you with them for about 30 mins, so don't worry that they'll be following you around for hours! 

CG xxx


----------



## SR3

Hi all,

I've not posted on here for a while but still read every week to see whats going on.  

Interesting question about SW observing you with children.  We have our 5th homestudy visit tomorrow.. so far she hasn't mentioned this but I wander if it will be brought up ?

Don't know about anyone else but we always feel shattered after our 2 hours sessions with her... its so draining and repetitive.  She now wants to meet with us every week.. can't wait


----------



## paula37

Hi Ladies

Have been lurking for a while and just thought i'd pop onto say hello.

We are just waiting for our 1st visit.  We have registered our interest and have had a letter to say they would be in contact to see us this month.

Have just been reading what you've had to say about them wanting to see interaction with children.  My nieces and nephews are now grown up and my youngest nephew is 10 and doesn't live near me although my brother would be more than happy for us to "borrow" him when required plus he loves staying with us.  My only concern if they want to see us with younger children.  My best friend has a 4 and 8 year old who do stay with us from time to time and she'd be more than willing for them to stay with us but i don't like asking.  I have been an Auntie since i was 13 and feel am more than qualifed.....think my sister and brother actually took advantage of me babysitting when i was younger    .  As my nieces are now 16, 17 and 18 do you think they would be willing to speak to them.  They know we are considering adopting and all want to "speak up for us".

Paula


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## Moppit

Dear Paula

Welcome to the board!

Although I know it was me that posted on the subject I woudl not worry too much about the observation session as a) it may not be something your SW requires and b) if it is I don't think it will necessarily matter about the age of the child as long as you can demonstrate child care. The only reason why you might want to think about 'borrowing' a younger child to look after is if you are lookign to adopt a younger child as they may want to observe your skills around the age of child you want to adopt.

Either way try not to worry about this yet, there are lots of meetings and discussions before you get to this point and you will have been able to demonstrate your child care experience and skills in lots of ways before this.

Its great that your family want to speak up for you and this will also stand you in good stead.

Good luck for the 1st visit!

Mx


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## paula37

Thanks Moppit, had a call yesterday and 1st visit is 22nd October aaaggghhh.......................


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## Pinky3

Hi Girls - dont know if you remember me, but i posted a couple of months ago as DH and i were making a decision on wether to have one last go or not.  Well we got a surprise natural bfp the month we were due to request tx, but this ended in another m/c.  We have decided there will be no more tx now and will start our adoption journey asap.  Looking forward to getting to know you girls a little better


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## Moppit

Dear Pinky

Welcome back! Very sad to hear of your miscarriage such a blow after the lovely surprise of getting a natural bfp. Take time to grieve and be kind to yourself and DH. Its a massive thing to get over.

Great that you are now considering adoption, its a long journey but the prize at the end will be amazing! I believe that the harder you fight for things the sweeter they feel when you finally get them and you will deserve it more than anyone.

Look forward to seeing you on the board in the weeks to come.

Moppit x


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## Pinky3

Thanks Moppit - i too belive that 'all good things comes to she that waits'


----------



## Losing my grip

Huuraaah - at last!

We completed our Home Study process yesterday relatively unscathed. We have not been asked to be observed even though we are not in contact with children very regularly and have very limited experience in looking after any children without the parents being there too.

My social worker is pretty confident that we will pass with flying colours and I feel like she has got potential children/families in mind for us?

Wot am I supposed to do till Jan panel?

I am soo excited at becoming a mummy and this feels so right.

I hope that when we are matched we will know its the right child for us?

Are there any meets in the Bolton/Bury area for people in a similar position to me?

Emma x


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Emma - i live in Stretford, and i sometimes meet up with other FF although none others have move on to adoption yet.  But i would love to meet up and share your experiences   congratulations on the completion of your home study, sounds like things have move quite quickly for you  

George x x


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Hi everyone,

Moppit & Mavis - how are your home studies going? We're still waiting to find out when ours will restart - our SW had to have an operation so it's on hold at the moment.

Paula - good luck for your visit next week    

Pinky - so sorry to hear about your miscarriage    Can't imagine how that must have felt.    Good luck with your adoption journey   

Emma - January will be here before you know it so make the most of your visit free time   Time for a weekend away perhaps and for you to give some thought to how you'll decorate the child(rens) room  


Curvycat - are you an old married lady yet?   If so I hope you had a fab day and are having a wonderful honeymoon. 

CG xxx


----------



## NattyT

Hello

I am new to this side of the forum, have been doing IVF for what feels like my whole life, my dh and I have been married for 9 years, we have an amazing dd who turned 6 in April.  We have had 4 cycles of IVF since then we were about to start another round of tx, when i was taken into hospital 2 weeks ago with a terrible infection in my tubes, my overies have fused to my tubes and well its wasnt fun or pleasant.

I have been saying and thinking for a month or so that i would be so nice to just get a sign to know when to stop treatment, and well while lying in my hospital bed, I thought to myself there is no clearer sign than this.  

Adoption has always been an option for my dh and I - it was just when we were we ready to stop trying for our own!  That time has come, I called the local council last week, we have recieved our info pack.  There is an open day on the 14th Nov which we will be attending - we are very keen to start this process now that we have made the decision.  My last tx was in December which puts me within the time frame where we can apply.

I would love some guidence on what to do next and any advice you can give me on this early stretch of our new journey?

I look forward to hearing from you all soon

NattyT


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Hello all, hope you don't mind me popping on. I have been a lurker for some time now but I thought it was now time to take the plunge.   

After two failed attempts at IVF the last being in march this year we have finally got in touch with 2 agencies about adoption. We thought we would go to both information days and find out which suits us best before proceeding with one of them. Has anyone else done it this way? I almost feel a bit sneaky as I haven't mentioned to either agency that we have spoken to another one. 

Hope you don't mind me posting on here, I wasn't quite sure where to post but wanted to say hello.


----------



## NattyT

Hi Mrs Dibbles,

I am I think more of an adoption virgin than you, we have only contacted our local council - they have sent us an information pack, there is an open day on the 14th Nov, which we plan to attend.

What do you mean you have contacted 2 agencies?  

If you can pass on any info that might help us in our early stages so it seems you might know a bit more than I do at this stage.

I think you have every right to contact as many places as you want until you find the place that feels right for you both, its after all a very big decision and you have to feel comfortable with where you choose.

hope to hear from you soon
nats
x


----------



## mavis

Hi NattyT and Mrs Dibbles,

You are more than welcome to post here and welcome too to the thread there are lots of lovely ladies on here and I am sure you will find it a haven and a great support as we have.

I am sorry to read about both of your struggles through infertility and have now made a positive decision to come to adoption - I wish you both well 

I dont know about you both but found after the IVf once I had made the decision i felt like a weight had been lifted and like I had a purpose and was finally going somewhere more positive - there will be ups and downs but you get to learn about the stages etc as you go along.

I would definately recommend reading if you can some books on adoption maybe Maria James adoption diary as a starter and even looking at some of the stories on here and doing some general research online to prepare yourselves.

Once you have been to the open day/eve the LA/VA will ask if you would like to proceed and then from there you fill out your official application then you go from there with a sw visit at your hom to talk things over how you came to adoption - what your hopes etc are - and about you. (this is how it was for us some agencies /authorities vary but mainly it is pretty much the same some just do in a different order etc)

If I can help you more ask away and WELCOME again x

mavis x

ps. there are also some websites that give you a rough idea of the stages if you like I can find a link.


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Thanks mavis for your warm welcome wishes. 

I agree with what you have said regarding the move from IVF to adoption feeling like a massive weight has been lifted. After the initial trauma of our failed attempts I feels like we have definitely made the right desicion to adopt and although I know it is going to be a long and sometimes difficult process, I know it is the right choice for myself and my husband.

In answer to your query Natty T, we have asked for information pack from two local authorites as we are in the catchment for both of them due to where we live, so its just deciding which is best out of the two for us. We are waiting to hear back regarding dates of the information days. I must say we are both very excited about starting our journey!


----------



## NattyT

Hi Mavis and Mrs Dibbles

Thanks for the welcome and pm.  Well we are real virgins in the adoption process, we have an open day in our area on the 14th November, which both myself and my dh are keen to attend.

Will definately be looking at websites, any suggestions would be fantastic.  Also the books will be looking at getting my teeth into those.

We have had so many failed treatments, and now having made the decision to adopt like both your stories I feel more human, I feel like a person and not someone chasing a never ending dream!  I almost feel like my relationship with my dh has changed and become closer I feel being intamate now is something for us and not for a purpose - if that makes any sense, even though for the past 10 years we have needed treatment - i still felt every month there was the posibility that some miracle would happen and I would fall pregnant naturally - now I feel happy with moving on and concentrating on our new road of adoption.....

Thanks for the kind words and hope to stay in touch with you both through our new journey.

Chat soon
nats
x


----------



## Camly

hiya all

just wanted to send a welcome to the new 'virgins'.  best of luck and i look forward to keeping up to date with your progress. 

hope everyone is well. x x x x x


----------



## Pinky3

Hi ladies and the newbies - i just sent 1st form back yesterday - now wait for them to contact us to arrange a home visit


----------



## mavis

Hi Again NattyT, Mrs D, Camly and Pinky,

NattyT one of things I wanted to look for just to give an idea of the process was this link http://www.fosteringinbrightonandhove.org.uk/index.cfm?request=c1199484 it is for Birghton and Hove obviously most places will be different but as I said to you before will follow a similar kind of process etc.

Mrs D, Have you any dates for open day/eves yet?

Camly - love to you too v 

Pinky, Great news - hope not long x

love to you all,

mavis x


----------



## mavis

Hi CG,

Thank you for asking, plodding along.... hope you are well and your sw is back soon.

mavis x


----------



## paula37

Hi Ladies

I know what you mean about stopping IVF and moving onto adoption.  I am very nervous but also very excited about this journey.

We have our 1st home visit tomorrow...aaaghh it's finally here.  She said to allow 2 hours so just wondered what kind of things she would want to know and do they look around your house to see if suitable.

Paula


----------



## Belliboo

Hi ladies 

hope you don't mind me joining you, we have also decided to become a parents through the adoption route. We have had much heartache & following 4 cycles of IVF we have decided to give treatment up become parents via a different journey. We initially had decided to look at adoption after our 2nd miscarriage in march but following our follow up we decided to have one final go as the doctor told us as a poor responder to treatment my response will only get worse so we decided to have one last shot,  which sadly wasn't meant to be.

We have an open day at the local LA on 10th November so hopefully things will progress from there.

I look forward to getting to know you all, and any tips will be greatly appreciated as I know this journey is not an easy option either  xxxx


----------



## NattyT

Hi all

so sorry to sounds like a plonker but what is LA?


----------



## NattyT

hi
ha ha just got the abreviations la and va please excuse me not so clued up just yet ha ha

will read up tonight should be a pro by morning.....

x


----------



## NattyT

Hi sorry for all the replies

well i have read the adoption uk website as well as one on the va (look at me with my lingo - ha ha)

I have requested an info pack from action for children so that my dh and I can see what we feel could be the difference and which one we feel would be right for us.

Thanks for the questions which lead me to look deeper into things which has given me more knowledge.

I am so keen to gather as much info as possible, you know all the years of having ivf i feel like i have done a degree on it, now i get to learn and experience a whole new world of experiences and knowlege.

Can anyone suggest any good books and dvds to read and watch?

Chat soon, promise not to post again till some else replies 

natsx


----------



## mavis

Hi everybody,

Paula, Hi Good Luck    with your HV - try and be yourselves and relax as mcuh as you can they are just coming to see you in your home environment, I know most of us run around like , mad people cleaning crazed!!!

Our SW that visited didnt look around our house but I knwo some do - and I knwo for some ladies that did it was a quik look arounf nothing else, we offered her a drink, and she sat down and we talked about why we were wantign to adopt, what made us come to that decision, about us and our families and our lives, what sort of child/ren ages etc we were hoping to look after and anything else relevant around that. I hope it goes well for you and would love to hear how you get on, will be thinking of you x

Rachel, Welcome to the thread and to joining us, as I said to Natty and Mrs D there are lots of lovely ladies on here - it is a good place to be. I am sorry to hear about all of your heartache and what you ahve been trhough.

Good luck for your open day not long to go now or you Natty : )

Tips wise I can just recommend try and prepare this can be done by reading some books, I would recommend as starters Maria james 'Adoption Diary' and also a BAAF book called Adopting a Child by Jennifer Lord - although the Jennifer Lord book is quite basic it does cover: the kind sof children who need new families, the reasosn why people adopt children, what sort of people adoption agencies are looking for and why, the legal aspects and any costs, intercountry, stepchildren and what happens after adoption. As I said to Natty this link was helpful to me http://www.fosteringinbrightonandhove.org.uk/index.cfm?request=c1199484 to oput into perspective the stages and help keep me focused and although is maybe not for your area is more than likely very similar.

Books wise thery can be borrowed from library or you can try and buy them cheaply online. Another good book is called the Adopters Handook a BAAF book again Amy Neil Salter covers: helping adopters help themselves throughout the adotpion process and beyond. Easy to access information will help users with the ups and downs of the the adoption experience, and prepare them for what is likely to happen along the way, topics include, processes, legal issues, education and health, needs of the child, emotional needs of the parent and post adoption support and finances, these are just my thoughts and if you go to the BAAF website or amazon and type in adoption you can have a read up on some of these books as some may not be relevant to you as you may be aware of certain thinsg already.

Also reading through some of the diaries or adoption stories on here. Another thing you can think oif is what child care experinece you have as ss love this and like you to have or gain as much as possible. For now I dont want to do over do it but some food for thought. Again Good Luck and keep us posted x

Natty, Hopefulyl the above will help you a little also.

Love to all,

mavis x


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Just popping on quickly to say that we have one of our introduction meetings on the 3rd nov. V exciting!!!


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## Moppit

Just a very quick one from me as I am about to run out of the door to the airport. We are flying to India today for a 2 week holiday and I am very, very excited. Will be great to have a break from everything for a couple of weeks before forging on with the end of our Home Study.

A massive welcome to all the newbies on board, love the fact that there are so many of us brave ladies on here at the moment.

Lots of love to all the regulars and look forward to catching up with all the news when I get back on the 9th of November.

Mx


----------



## Chocolate Button

Just stopping by to say Hi. xx


----------



## Belliboo

Good Morning 

Just popping on to say Hi to everyone, not much to report just waiting for time to pass until our LA info day on 12th Nov. hope everyone else is ok. 

Moppit hope your having a fantastic time in India.

Mavis thanks for your advice, its really apprecaited, I borrowed some books from the library to read through!!!

Paula37 hope your home visit went ok

Hi to everyone else too, hope your all ok xx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Just popping on today that we have our other choices' info day on 11th Nov. I really feel like things are starting to get moving now. Its seems like lots of us are at the same stage so good luck to all with their info days, (Natty T and Rachel78.) Also to Paula37 hope your home visit went well. 

Thanks to Mavis for all your information about books and website to look at, and I hope you have a nice holiday Moppitt.

Looking forward to getting to know all you lovely ladies!!


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## Shoe Queen

Hello ladies

Well..it has been a good while since i posted on this thread but hope you dont mind if I come back??

Both dh and I felt in limbo this summer as after our prep course had taken place we hadnt heard anything from the department (which seems a common thing!) so after returning from a fabulous holiday in Australia we came back to hear that our Social Worker had been in touch and wanted to start our Home Study asap.  I have to admit i didnt gel with her at all on the phone she didnt seem to be very flexible with meetings etc. and once I explained about our working hours she told me if i couldnt be flexible with the meetings then how could I be flexible about adoption?? I was a little put off to be honest but as it turns out I have given up another day at work to devot to our HS sessions.  We had our first meeting last week which went ok - she is quite abrupt and to the point but I guess she wants to get things done quickly which is a good thing right? The first thing she wanted to do was look around the house which was fine, she noted a few points about plugs etc but everything seemed to be ok.  She left us with a lot of 'homework' last week in time for our session next week so all in all the process seems to be back on track.

There are a few new faces here so am sure I will get to know you all - and a huge hello to those Ive already 'met'.

Cath xx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Happy Halloween everyone!!!


----------



## mavis

HI Everyone,

*CONGRATULATIONS* Curvycat on getting married - hip hip hooray massive massive hugs and kisses

Mrs Dibbles & Rachel Thank you, you are both very welcome I am glad to be of any help. Thinking of you both for Nov - exciting : ) . Mrs D lloving your pumpkin so cute x

Shoe Queen (tig) good to see you back, hope you and dh are feeling a little bit better after your hard time, glad you have started Hs now tho, good luck with it all.

Not a lot going on with us, i think we are s l o w l y getting there.

Love to you all.

mavis x


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## Suzie

Just wanted to welcome the newbies to the adoption board  

If you need any help then yell 

Goodluck on your journeys 

x


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## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

Just popiong on to say we've got our 1st sw visit on the 19th - cant wait


----------



## pinkorblue

Hi everyone  

Hope you are all okay, I am still pretty new to all this but I try to log on at least every other day to see what you ar all up to, I don't feel I have much to offer yet as everyone seems to be further on than us. 

DH and I have now had 3 meetings with a SW and tomorrow we have to go for our medicals and I am dreading it, my biggest fear is I am over weight and my BMI is high, DH is bigish but I am the one who carries a bit more blubber. I am hoping our GP will be kind about us in the medical as I joined weigh watchers in September and so far and lost 1.5 stone through healthy eating so I am hoping she notes this on my form. Once the form has been sent back to the SW it is back to the waiting game for us to see if we will be allowed to move on to the next stage of the process.....I can only hope and pray very hard. SW has told us it will be about 6 weeks before we hear anything  

This is such a stressful journey, between finding out we would need IVF and it being unsuccessful to deciding to move on from having more IVF and deciding to move onto the Adoption road and not knowing if my dream of a family of my own will ever come true. (I think I am a mad hormonal woman this week)  

Take care all
Pinkorblue


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## Mrs Dibbles

exciting news pinky, well done.

Pink or blue, it sounds like your much further on than us, good luck with your medical. I must admit that is the part I am dreading too, I'm already on a diet and have lost 12lbs but I have a way to go yet!! Hopefully I will be beautifully svelte like by the time we have our medicals   Not!!!! 

We had our first information evening last night which was really good and very useful, I must admit I was really worried that it would scare my Hubby off but he was really enthusiastic. We ended up going to bed really late as we were talking about everything. We have another one on Wednesday with another agency and then we will decide which one is best for us.

Lots of luck and hellos to everyone else.

Bye for now, Mrs Dibbles xx


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## Pinky3

Mrs D - oh your evening sounds really informative   

All this talk of diet is making me hungry


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## Chocolate Button

I have swine flu   
I don't even have the energy to type this.
I can't even get out of bed. 
As for HS all is going well. We didn't have any meetings with SW this week anyway, but seeing her on Monday. Well if I am well enough. 
She said at our last visit she thought HS and report would be finished by Christmas. So things are looking really good.
Sorry for the lack of personals, but I am sure you understand. xx


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## emsina

CB - you poor thing, that sounds awful.  Hope you get well soon.
emsina xx


----------



## Camly

Choc B - get well soon.  take care x x x x x


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## Mrs Dibbles

Oh you poor thing Choccy B. Hope you feel better soon


----------



## Shoe Queen

Hello ladies

CB - oh my gosh you poor thing - really hope you make a speedy recovery.  I know my brother in law had it back in the summer (hes in Australia) and both he and his partner had to be quarantined - they made a good recovery though  

Mavis - hey hunny, thanks for the welcome back - both dh and I are feeling so much better and more positive now - really looking forward to the future - hows things with you?

Suzie - thanks for the welcome!!

Pinky - good luck for your first visit!!

Pink or Blue - Good luck for your medicals, I know it can seem really daunting and it can be stressful but I am sure everything will be fine - at least you are showing willing to lose a few pounds so that is positive in itself!

Mrs Dibbles - well done your weight loss!!! So glad you are enthusiastic about your course, hope it all goes well.

Hello Emsina & Camly.

As for me, had our second SW homestudy meeting yesterday and it all went really well - been given more homework to do so will be busy over the next week or so - our SW is really straight and to the point but thats what I like about her - not getting too ahead of myself but she said she is hoping for us to get to panel by next February/March - wow it all seems so real now!!  

Got a good weekend lined up so am excited about that - one of my friends that I met in Oz is coming over and we are meeting up this weekend - looking forward to a weekend of partying!!!!

Cath xx


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## ClaireP

Hi girls

I am not sure where the best place to post is but I am looking into Adoption and haven't taken any steps yet so really do not have a clue where to start!

Can I ask a few basic questions:

What Adoption agencies do I contact if I live in Cheshire or do I contact my local council?
How long does the whole process take approximately?
Do you need to prove that you have drawn a line under IVF treatment?
How do they decide or do you decide what age child you would like to adopt (my son is 4 years old next March - so would this be taken into account?)
Is there an age barrier to adopt - my dh is 48 and I am 37.
Do they really scrutinise your life and finances?
What does Home study involve and how many panels do you sit through?



Sorry for such questions but Fertility friends has been a life saver to me over the years and I really need some advice etc.

Thanks Claire xx


----------



## Pinky3

Claire - i'm in Manchester, they a few local and regional volutary sector organisations round our neck of the woods - have you been on your local council's website? PM me if you want me to give you some links   p.s. i've only just started this new journey too   

Cath - sounds like your SW is keeping you busy


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## Shoe Queen

Hi Claire

I know every authority works differently and the process can be anywhere between 9 months to a couple of years.  When I contacted our local adoption agency I was told you need to have a gap of 6 months after your last fertility treatment and starting adoption.  We had our last tx last August and applied for the adoption in January of this year.  Again, with regard to the age of the child our agency told us that because we already have a birth child (like you) the child we adopt must be at least 2 years YOUNGER than our own child so we are in the 0-3 category.  As for age, Im not sure about the age barriers??  Having just started the Home Study myself Im finding they do ask questions about your life etc. and they just need to know you are financially capable of having another child but again, all agencies work differently - these are just my own experiences.  Have you contacted anyone yet?

Pinky - yup my SW certainly is keeping me busy but Id rather it like that    Hope you are ok?

Cath xx


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## Cotswold Girl

Hi everyone and welcome to Mrs Dibbles, Claire and Natty.  

Mrs Dibbles - I'm glad you found your first info evening informative, good luck with your next one. 

Natty - I found the adoption diary by Maria James a good introduction to adoption. I've read others too but this one gives you a good overview of the process without being too heavy going. 

Claire - I don't think your husband's age will be a problem.  My DH is 45 (and I'm not far behind  ) and we've not been made to feel too old!

Chocolate Button - I hope you're starting to feel better    My DH had swine flu a few months ago - the first few days are the worst but you should feel a lot better after that    Take it easy and rest up in the meantime. 

Shoe Queen - good to see that you're cracking on with your Home Study. 

Our Social Worker is back so we had 2 homestudy visits last week so we're pretty tired last weekend. She's now about to write her report on us ready for panel in January! We were due to go to panel in December but don't have time now because it took a little longer than hoped for our SW to recover from her op. We were really disappointed about this last weekend but realise now that January will be here before we know it.

Hi to Mavis and anyone I've missed  

CG xxx


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## ClaireP

Hi girls

Thanks for your replies! Are you able to put any procedures in place before waiting the 6 months after last ivf treatment?  is it 6 months wait before you can apply or be accepted - I don't really know the process so sorry for sounding ignorant.

Pinky - I think your mailbox is still full - yes would be great if you could send me some links to some adoption agencies - its nice to know someone else locally has just started the process.

Thanks

Claire x


----------



## Belliboo

Just popping on to say hi 

We had our first adoption info day today with our local authority, so things have officially started for us now they are going to ring us to arrange a home visit in Dec then we hope to start our prep groups in January, so its looking good for us on our new journey. We had informal chats with social workers & with parents who have previously adopted so thats was good too. 

Cotswolds girl I'm sure january will be here before you know it!!!

Hi ClaireP, we are just starting the adoption process & we were told we couldnt do anything until 6 months have passed ours are up in end of the year but they are doing first visit in Dec hoping to get us on prep groups in Jan so its worth giving them a ring

Chocolate button hope your feeling better soon

Shoe queen hope your home study is going ok

mrs Dibbles glad your info night went ok too

Pinky how did your first visit go

pinkorblue hope your medicals went ok

Hi to everyone else too, I've not been on here much recently as not much to report so still trying to get to know you all, hope your all ok xxxxxxxxxx

Hope everyone else is ok


----------



## Moppit

Hello Lovely Ladies!

Got back from India on Monday and have been trying to find a second to catch up on posts and say hello! Trip was absolutely amazing, enjoyed every second and so good to get away for a while and spend some time with DH. Very sad to be back...

Spoke to our social worker this morning and she really worried me by saying that she wants to do an extra referee visit with my brother. I have a difficult family situation in that, sadly, my parents and my brother and his wife are estranged. I've been totally open about this from the start of the HS and we've covered it at length and our SW has always said that she thought I have dealt with the situation very well and that it is good that I have managed to maintain a relationship with both sides but now she is saying that she is very concerned about it because of the potential impact on a child. By this I think she means the possiblity of my parents rejecting an adopted child in the same way as they rejected my brother because he did not meet their expectations in terms of who he chose to marry and the life choices he made. I do understand this and I know that of course, the needs of the child come first, but so terrified that this is going to mean we are rejected. Until now everything in the HS has been postive and I had dared to start to believe that this would really happen but now, today, I feel that there is a chance we might be rejected for something that is wholly out of my control and that I did not do. 

she wants to meet my brother to give his side of the story and I know that he will paint a very black picture of my parents for understandable reasons and that this will only make the SW even more worried.

I am devastated that this could stand in the way of us being approved.

Has anyone out there had issues with their family that the SW has latched on to. How did you deal with it?

I want to believe that noone is perfect and many families have 'skeletons' but this seems so negative that I am so worried that its goign to effect our success at panel and beyond.


Sorry no personals... when I'm feeling less emotionally fragile I'll come back on and respond to some of the messages.
Love

Mx


----------



## alanelaine

Hi all,

Moppit, we have had similar issues with one set of parents but we were able to overcome this by demonstrating how strong our relationship is and how the relationship with the (partially) estranged parents would be dealt with post-adoption.

We were approved to adopt on 6th October and have been matched in the last week with a two and a half year old little girl - we expect to have her home with us in the New Year.

IM us if you want to know any more about the family issues.

A&E


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Moppit - sorry to hear your SW has said something to upset you.    No family is perfect and I'm sure the situation between your parents and brother won't affect your adoption plans. Your SW may just want to make sure she's got the whole story and as long as what your brother says about the family situation is the same/or similar to what you've already told her she'll probably be ok with that. She may also just want to get your brother's perpective on how you've supported him through what must have been a difficult time for him, being rejected by his parents. In many ways I'd have thought this experience would be valuable. You may also (if you haven't already) just need to reassure her that if your parents did the same thing with your children you'd put them (your children) first.   

If you're really worried I'd give you SW a call and let her know what you're thinking and that you're worried that might not approve. We had an awful few days ourselves a few weeks ago when we took some of the comments from our SW the wrong way and thought our adoption journey was over. I too felt so emotional about what felt like the end of our dreams so think I know how you're feeling. Please give your SW a ring as you may be reading a lot more into her need to speak to your brother than she is.

Take care and let us know how you get on, 

CG xxx


----------



## Shoe Queen

Hello ladies

CG - wow panel in January - that wont be long - are you excited??

Moppit - so glad you enjoyed your holiday, what a wonderful experience but am sorry to hear you are worried about your SW.  I am sure it will be nothing to worry about they just have to be seen to be ticking all the boxes.  As CG says, no families are perfect and they must understand this - hope it all goes ok 

A&E - its so encouraging to hear other peoples stories.  Fantastic news on your approval and the fact you have been matched so soon is wonderful, you must be sooooo excited.

As for us, we have had more things/forms emailed to us to complete - seems like its all just paperwork at the moment!  I was stuck on the computer last night for hours in preparation for our next meeting with the SW but am just going through the process as I know it will be worth it in the end.  Looking forward to tomorrow with lots of xmas shopping planned - dh and I are on our own for the night so are looking forward to finishing it all of with a    Hope everyone enjoys their weekend 

xx


----------



## alanelaine

Moppit, in our experience SW were more interested in how we handled the conflict and were looking to check that we were willing to seek resolution rather than going into any blame.

We showed that we kept doors open and were not instrumental in perpetuating conflict. This is probably what you need to demonstrate.

Hope this is helpful.

A&E


----------



## Belliboo

Hi ladies 

Hope your all ok, just wanted to ask your advice as we have our initial home visit planned for 23rd November, so just wondering what to expect.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend xxxxxxxx


----------



## mavis

Hi Rachel,

For ours we had a visit from SW and it was quite informal and relaxed, they just chatted with us about the process a little, asked why we came to be looking at adoption, about ourselves and families, work etc.  Some have a quick look around your house although ours never did.  We made her a cup of tea and chatted away.  Also told us what the next step would be.

Good luck     hope it all goes well for you, I am sure some of the other ladies will be along soon too.

CB. hope you are feeling better?  

CC, CG & SQ Hi    

Lots of love and hello to everyone else, hope you are all doing ok,

love. mavis x


----------



## pinkorblue

Hi all

Please can someone help me.

My DH and I had our medicals last week and as far as I was concerned all I was worried about was my weigh and BMI both being too high but I am working on.

BUT

We have received a letter this morning from our SW saying she wants to come out and see us again due to something we had written on the medical form and until she sees us we will not be able to move on, now I think I know what it is. It will be my form because I put on it that I have had some depression in the past and was on anti-depressents for a time but I no longer take them and haven't for over 4 years. I also had about 6 weeks councilling for about 6 sessions and all this is down to me being abused by one of my teachers in 1979. The thing is I am over all this and although it is part of my past can they stop the adoption process for us now.

I have cried all morning since I opened the letter and I just don't know what to do or think I am so scared they are going to stop us from adopting, please please can someone advise me, also the appointment with the SW is not until 30th November and I don't think I can wait over 2 weeks for this.

Thank you all

Pinkorblue


----------



## emsina

Dear PinkorBlue, I so feel for you sweetheart  .  It doesn’t necessarily mean the end of the road.

Now, my advice, however scary it might be, is to call the social worker on Monday for some clarification and reassurance, love.  I think waiting 2 weeks is going to be just too agonising, it would be for anyone.  My guess, from reading countless prospective adopters boards, would be he/she needs to explain that your home study may take a little longer than average in order to explore the issues.  Also, they may wish you to see the agency medical advisor.

Stay strong, you and DH can get through this.
Love emsina x


----------



## mavis

Pink or blue - sending you a pm, x


----------



## Pinky3

HI Girls

Moppit   i hope everything works out for you   can you speek to your brother about it?

Rachel - our 1st visit is this thursday, i'll let you know how it goes   

Pinkorblue -   oh honey   it proberbly something they have to just 'tick off'

getting nervous now.... eeeeccckkkk!!!


----------



## Cars

Hi,

I am definately an adoption virgin and would love to join this thread? My DH and I have had three failed ivf cycles and decided that we are now ready to go down the adoption route, this is all very new to us, we spoke to the local council last week who sent out an information pack and we booked in for their information evening in January to get the ball rollling, really looking forward to this new chapter in our lives and hope to share and get support from some FF !!

Cars


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Cars   and welcome


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Cars - hello and welcome. It's good to hear that you've got your information evening to look forward to in the new year. If you've got any questions ask away    

Rachel - the initial visit is very much a get to know you and understand why you've decided to adopt. We were also asked to fill in some additional forms and had various forms of identity checked e.g. drivers licence, passport etc. Our SW also explained the process a bit too.  Good luck.

Pinky - good luck for Thursday. Try not to worry too much about the visit. I remember cleaning the house top to toe and then being really disappointed that our SW didn't move from the sofa  

PinkorBlue - I'd do as Emsina has suggested and give your SW a call. I'm sure she just needs to discuss the things you've put on your form to see how you've dealt with these situations and to see if you've come to terms with them. It shouldn't mean the end of you adoption dreams just that your homestudy may need to cover in more detail the things you've experienced.    Please don't worry.   

Mavis - how are you doing? Do you have any more news on your panel date?

Curvycat - how are you? How is the home study going?

Shoe Queen - yes we're looking forward to panel in January - excited and scared if I'm honest. The wait after that will probably be a nightmare but at least we'll be a huge step closer to being parents  

Moppit - how are you doing?    I hope you're feeling a litle better about things and have got some reassurance from your SW. 

CG xxx


----------



## minmouse

Hi all,

Hope you won’t mind another 'Adoption Virgin' joining your thread?  Reading all the stories and posts on here has been so informative & inspiring  - it’s nice to find so much knowledge & support when you start on this very scary journey!

Just contacted LA, Open Eve 2.12.  Absolutely terrified, as we feel so 'imperfect', but have lots of love to give a child so determined to give this everything we’ve got. The scariest thing so far reading all the diaries, and realising just how long it can take!  I was expecting 18mths but see it can be considerably longer!  Age is not on our side so that’s a real shock 

Looking forward to sharing everyones journies   Sending lots of   to all the adoption virgins and will now read back to catch up on all the personals.


----------



## Camly

hi to all the new virgins  

x x x


----------



## minmouse

Thanks Camly,

Just read your story.  How amazing to have achieved the dream, and to have your girls home in time for xmas!  Such an inspiration to us "newbies", thank you.
M
x


----------



## Camly

no worries min     this site has been a great help to me.  i have had soooo many questions needing answered and there is always someone here to help.  its ace!  yeah, the girls are the best christmas pressie ever!! 

hi to all you other virgins out there. hope your ok. x x x x


----------



## Pinky3

1st visit done!! SW is really nice   should be on prep groups for march!! 

Hi mini and welcome


----------



## minmouse

Hi Pinky,

Congrats on 1st vist today, did you have many questions to answer - what does 1st visit cover?  Im so keen to get on with it!  Good that you like your SW - that must help loads  

Hope all the other virgins are ok?


----------



## Belliboo

pinky glad your first visit went well roll on prep groups!!!

camly I've been reading your diary fantastic news that your little girls will be home for christmas

Hi to minmouse & cars I've only just started this journey too so look forward to sharing my journey with you too


pinkorblue hope you managed to get some answers hun

cotsworlds girl & mavis thanks for all you advice its really helpful I've been to buy lots of nice biscuits ready for our home visit on monday just got to finish my cleaning tomorrow 

hi to all the other adoption virgins hope your all ok too xxx


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Minimouse - welcome   It's always nice to have a few more on these boards. Good luck with your journey. I know what you mean about seeing the time it takes to achieve a family through adoption but once you get started you do at least feel like your on your way  

Rachel - easy to say I know but don't do too much cleaning they won't be inspecting your house on the first visit    Good luck with your visit   

Pinky - so glad your visit went well and you like your SW - it makes things so much easier. Not too long until prep course either. 

Our SW is writing up our report for panel and it's really strange and a bit scary waiting to see what she's written about us   So hope it's going to be ok and nothing we've said is going to come across in the wrong way. I'm just such a worrier   On a more positive note I've now done 2 mornings at a playgroup which has been fun - 3rd one planned for this Wednesday - it's so much better than work!

Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone,

CG xxxx


----------



## minmouse

Thanks for the welcome Cotswold girl  

Just popped on to wish Rachel good luck for visit tomorrow, let us all now how it goes? 

M
x


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Ooh Rachel, just popping on to say our first home visit is tommorrow too.  Luckily I have a day off today so I can get the house tidy. Good luck to you, hope all goes well. Anyway back to the cleaning. Hi to everyone else and welcome to the other newbies.
 Mrs D


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

Rachel & Mrs Dibbles - good luck for your 1st visits      

CG - playgroup sounds like fun


----------



## pinkorblue

Hi all

Hope all the first visits are going well. Why do we all feel the need to clean the house before we have a SW visit, I do it as well, I won't even let my hubby sit down incase he make a bum imprint in the seat  

Thank you too all those who gave me encouraging words last week after my little melt down, I am trying to keep everything in prespective but it is hard. I did call our SW last Monday only to be told she had gone on holiday, surprise surprise and could not be contacted as she was out of the country, they told me they would have her call me first thing this morning........well, I waited and waited until I could wait no more so I called her again only this time to be told she was on a training course, I am so mad   Now they have said she will call me tomorrow. This has been on my mind everyday for over a week now and it is complete torture.

Will keep you posted

Pinkorblue


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Pinky - yes nothing quite like having 3 and 4 year olds doing your hair with a kids meccano set   I wonder which little budding hairdresser I'll get this week  

Pinkorblue - what a nightmare that you've had to wait for your SW to get back from leave and then a course! I'm sure all will be well but it's such a shame you couldn't have heard that a week ago   

Mrs Dibbles - good luck with your first visit   Your house will be ooohhhh so tidy for the duration of the home visit if I'm any thing to go by!  

CG xxx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

hi guys, home visit went well I think. It was just quite general really but nice to get a few worries sorted out. She didn't look around the house though after all yesterdays hard work!!!   I didn't mention it yesterday but I even bought a new shower curtain as our old one was abit manky! Talk about nuts!!!!  Hope yours went well Rachel xx


----------



## pinkorblue

Hi all

Well I finally heard from our SW  

She is coming out to see us next Tuesday afternoon to discuss the things I thought it was, I am so worried about the meeting and I feel she has me right where she wants me, backed into a little corner but I am not going to be bullied by her. Everytime I tried to ask her a question she talked over me this morning she was very abrupt. 

Anyway will let you know how the meeting goes.

Pinkorblue


----------



## minmouse

Hi all,

Thanks for letting us know how it went Mrs Dibbles.  Cant believe she didnt look around after your cleaning! 

Pink or blue - good luck for next Tuesday - hope it goes well.

Hope everyone else is ok?
Im  counting down, 1 week tomorrow to Open Evening, Im wishing my life away at the moment & willing us to be six months into the process.  WIll have to learn to have some patience wont I!
M
x


----------



## Belliboo

Hi everyone 

thanks for your well wishes for our home visit. Which I think went well & although offically we have to wait to see our home visit report he said he can see no reason why we can't proceed so we have to the dates for prep groups which are in January!!!!! It lasted nearly 3 hours but we great we got lots of information the only things we're a bit undecided on is concurrency so just need to find out a bit more about that, & just wondered if any had any thoughts or info on it!! He did look round the house & garden for a safety check & said things like we will need baby gates, fire guards, sockets protector things, cleaning stuff in locked cupboard tc but nothing that needs immediate action!!!!

The only thing is he never eat any of the nice biscuits I had bought especially

Minmouse hope your open evening goes ok next week, its exciting getting things started isn't it!!!

Pinkorblue glad you managed to get a visit sorted with your sw 

Mrs Dibbles glad your home visit went ok too,

going to post now as my screen has gone all jumpy, but hope everyone else is ok too xxx


cotsworlds girl ooh how exciting your report is getting written up, glad you are enjoying your play groups, hope you have another nice day there today


----------



## Moppit

Hello Lovely Ladies!

Havent been on the board for a while as I have been rushed off my feet at work, very busy with home visits and generally manic!

Lots of lovely newbies to say hello to!

Rachel78 - So glad to hear that your first home visit went well. Its a big step in the journey and somethign to celebrate. Ours also lasted about 3 hours so don't worry about that, its a big positive that there was lots to talk about. Prep Groups in January is also great news and really quick. We had to wait a lot longer. Funny about the biscuits. I remember agonising over which ones to get and then they didnt eat any either! I don't have any advice on concurrency but you may find it useful to post on the fostering part of the site as there may be some people there who know about this.

MinMouse - Not long to wait until the open evening and then you'll be on your way. Very exciting!

PinkorBlue - Hang in there. If you feel that your SW is treating you unfairly you could always speak to the LA about an alternative. You do have rights so stand firm.

Mrs Dibbles - Glad your home visit went well. Really annoying that they didnt look round the house but at least you've got a lovely tidy house to enjoy this weekend!

Cars - Welcome! You are definately in the right place. This is a fantastic site and has kept me going the whole way through the process.

CG - Feel like we are veterans on here these days! Fantastic news about your report, our SW is also starting to write ours up for panel in February and suddenly feeling very real. Have PM'd you.

Mavis - How are you doing?

Calmly - Following your diary with interest.

As for me well the Home Study continues apace. We only have a maximum of 3 sessions left and probably 2 if everything can be covered and she is starting to write up our report so that we can review it over Christmas. Now we are nearing panel (February 9th doesnt seem that far off right now) its all starting to feel very real which is exciting but daunting. The next few sessions and the last one we had will focus on matching criteria which is what we have been dying to get to but now its here its so difficult. We desperately want to be parents and don't want to hold up the process but I have to admit many of the issues facing the children in the adoption process take lots of thinking about and at the moment I'm thinking hard about whether we can really cope with a child with significant problems. Fetal alcohol syndrome comes up all the time but as its a spectrum disorder the effects can differ from child to child and its very difficult with a younger child to know how they might be effected. We totally accept that our child will be damaged in some way as all adoptive children are but the question is how much can we cope with...

Lots of food for thought.

Love to all

Mx


----------



## Old Timer

Hi moppit

Just read about your concerns over the issues you could cope with and just wanted to reassure you a bit if possible.

We only said 'no' to about 5 things, 'yes' to some and 'will discuss' to most.  FAS isn't something we felt we could take but on our LAs paperwork it is linked with drugs and so we said 'will discuss'.  Be honest but don't limit things too much as visual impairment can be from needing glasses to being blind and so on and so on......The range of problems attached to some of these issues can vary greatly and depending on what else there is can be too much or fine but its not until you read a cpr that you will really feel whether you can cope with everything relating to that child.  If the child is right you will cope with more than you probably think you can at the moment.

Having said that, all the people I am friends with that have adopted do not have any major issues to deal with.  Yes, all the children will have suffered something, even if in FC since birth the seperation and loss bit will be there, but there are children out there that do not have loads of issues or medical problems.  By saying you will discuss something you are not signing up to definately taking a child with that issue, you can turn children down (not what any of us plan to do) if they don't feel right, have too many issues or whatever, you will know when you read the reports what is right for you.

Hope some of that makes sense 

OT x


----------



## Camly

great advice ot.  

hiya to all you virgins. hope your all doing good.  

have a lovely weekend.

lots and lots of love camly x x x x x


----------



## allyo

Hi to you all on your exciting journey.

I am a newbie who has been lurking.

My DP and myself attended the information evening on Monday and are now awaiting the apt for the home visit which i hope will be soon but we have been told it will probably not be before Xmas 

Good luck to you all 

Ally
x

p.s can anyone tell me how to bookmark this discussion


----------



## minmouse

Welcome allyo,

You are in the right place, the ladies on here have been so helpful already.  Im a fellow newbie off to open evening on Weds so we're in the same boat, and keen to get on with it all asap! Fingers crossed you get your home visit soon. 

As you have posted to this link, you will get a mail when someone else posts a reply so you can track everyones news. 

Hope you are having a good weekend fellow virgins - its so great to read of everyones progress, and to get a feel for 'what happens next'!

Ive just received my amazon order full of the LAs recommended reading material so Im planning a cosy weekend end in absorbing all the information! 

M
x


----------



## allyo

Minmouse - thanks for the info  

Ally 
X


----------



## wynnster

Allyo

Glad you found your way here hun    Click on 'notify' at the top


----------



## Pinky3

HI Allyo and welcome  

Mrs D - our SW didnt look around the house either   oh well, made me have a good clean up   

Hope eveyone is enjoying their weekend


----------



## Moppit

Welcome Ally!

You are in the right place and will find this board really useful. Lots of really brave and inspirational ladies on here and all of us working our way to being Mummys! We will all get there in the end!

Moppit x


----------



## Lil-J

Hi All  

I'm another adoption newbie hoping to join in on the discussions!

I've hovered on the boards a little but didn't want to start posting til we were a bit further down the line.  So 3 home study visits later, and I thought it was time to say hello.

Looking forward to getting to know you all a bit better.

My first question is, do people on this thread ever meet up?  I've seen the main FF invite but wondered it there's already an adoption meet-up going on?  We've joined Adoption UK but nothing much seems to be taking place near us (Worcestershire)?

We're keen to talk to those at the same stage as us as well as people who have already adopted.

Lil-J


----------



## allyo

Welcome Lil-J

You are definitely in the right place and will find a lot of support.  

Me and my DP have only just started out on our journey - waiting for our home visit apt - but have already been given lots of advice and support.

Good luck to you on your journey

Ally

x


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

How are you all

Just playing the waiting game, hoping to go on the course in January 2010. Haven't seen the social worker since my initial visit in August 2009. Seems such a long time ago now.

Hope everyone is okay

If anybody lives near Redditch in Worcestershire, we could do a mini meet up?

Sonia xxx


----------



## Chocolate Button

Hi everyone
Welcome to all the new posters. It really is a fantastic place her. 
I will catch up on all the personals asap. Just wanted to say Hi and I haven't forgotten about all of you. It has been hectic her birthdays, my house is up for sale and of course I had the blasted swine flu so I promise to catch up this week. xx


----------



## minmouse

Hi to Lil-J, Sonia & Choc Button,

So interesting to see everyone at different stages of the journey. And thanks to Moppit - i love your positivity - we WILL be mums one day   

An adoption specific met up would be a great idea!  No where near worcestershire Im afraid, Im down in Surrey.  

Dont know about you ladies, but I cant get enough info at the moment?  . I want to know EVERYTHING good & bad.  A friend has put me in touch with a friend of hers who has recently adopted with my LA so Im going to pick her brains after the Open Eve on Weds. And Im busy reading my books to be as prepared as I possibly can. 

My DP is being so fab at the moment - he never has any doubts that we will be approved, whereas I get the wobbles and convince myself daily that they will find something to reject us for!   

Does everyone feel like that?  Anyways, good luck and positivity to all the virgins  

M
x


----------



## popsi

Just popping on as an encouragement to all you ladies in this area... it feels like it will never happen, but yesterday we were linked with our future daughter and should meet her in about 10 weeks all going to plan .. so hang in there its so worth it, good luck and love to you all xxx


----------



## tamelia

POPSI
I have been reading your story and it has made me cry, you really are an inspiration, I am so happy for you and i wish you the very best for the arrival of your new baby daughter.

Hello everyone, i really am very new to this but very certain this is the route for us.  We are very blessed to have a 3 year old daughter through IVF treatment and not a day goes by when i don't look at her and know how lucky we are.  Weve had several negative cycles since and have decided this is the end of our treatment route and aiming to get pregnant.  
We would all love to have another addition to our family so we have decided that adoption is the way forward for us.  We decided quite a while ago but due to an incident with our fertility unit we were offered 2 funded cycles so decided to accept those first.
I have already spoken to a social worker at a Local Authority who have our details but say we are unable to apply for 6 months so as yet we aren't even on the ladder yet.
Although i have just discovered our cycle ended in a BFN i feel quite relieved that i can now put my infertility issues behind me and move onto a more positive route.
After the birth of my daughter i became a Registered Childminder and I've had 2 other children on a regular basis since they were babies so I'm hoping this will help in some way towards our journey.
I obviously don't have much to share with you all yet but just wanted to introduce myself as i shall be lurking.


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

So excited for you Pospi    

Quick Hello to all


----------



## Camly

popsi - posted on another thread but again massive congratulations!!! whoooooohooooooo!! its great news. 

tam - hi and best of luck with your journey.  this website is the best!! 

hiya all other virgins!     x x x


----------



## Belliboo

Popsi congratulations what a fantastic early christmas present xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mavis

Popsi, Massive *CONGRATULATIONS* - really really plesaed for you. Enjoy  , mavis x


----------



## Belliboo

Just popping on to say hi to everyone, hope you all ok & welcome to allyo & Lil-j  & tamelia, I have only recently joined this thread too so its great to have more newbies !!!!

Not much news from me just waiting for our report from our intial home visit & we hope to start prep groups in january.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Belliboo

Sonia7 I live in the north west


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi everyone,

I was going to leave it a while until we were a bit further along with our adoption journey before I joined you all, but I'm impatient, so I thought I'd say hello now   
I'm sure I recognise some of you from other threads I've belonged to in the past.
I 've been on this site for a few years over on the tx side of things mainly, so it's very possible some of us have crossed paths.

In a nutshell, you can see where we're at by my signature section below, but we have had our info' session, and Initial Home Visit, and are at present on the waiting list for prep' course (hopefully Jan or March).

I'm looking forward to getting to know you all and sharing the exciting journey we are all on  

Love Anj x


----------



## minmouse

Hi All,

Welcome to Anjelissa & Tamelia - hope I didnt miss anyone?  
Looks like we have a busy January ahead of us!

Popsi - thanks so much for popping by to post your news - how FANTASTIC!  Its great to read these successful stores to give us all encouragement  

Im feeling nervous - its Open Evening tonight - no idea what to expect but just pleased to be getting started.

Hello to everyone else  
M
x


----------



## Moppit

Hello MinMouse - Don't be nervous its the first step in a very exciting journey!!! 

Anj - Welcome! So glad you have decided to post! You can get amazing support from this boards and its fantastic for everyone to be able to follow eachothers stories.

As for me well yesterday was our penultimate HS Interview. Can't believe we are almost done with the assessment. Actually feel like I am going to miss our regular sessions. There have been times when I have hated it but most of the time I've enjoyed the HS and have come out feeling that I know both myself and my partner much better. Really like our social worker and will be strange not to see her so regularly although we have a long way to go before she will be out of our lives. Full steam ahead now for panel on February 9th.... only 2 months eeek!

Moppit x


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi Minmouse and Moppit, and thanks for the welcome  

I know it will take me quite a while to get to grips with where everyone is at and get to know everyone, there seems to be quite a few of us around the same stage on here too which is nice.

I was talking to one of my old cycle buddies from one of my ICSI cycles and explained to her that in some ways the adoption process (although a lot longer) is in any ways similar to an IVF cycle, in that there are many stages to get through and even though we're only at the beginning, I find each stage brings a sense of achievement and is another part to 'tick off' as completed.  I suppose I can look at it that the IVF 2ww's we've gone through were training for the many long waits we have between sections in the adoption process.
 
On the whole though, so far we feel like it's a far more positive journey than IVF and are really excited about the future. 
My work colleagues have been teasing me that now I'm on the waiting list for the Prep' course and have 'passed' the initial home visit, I'm sort of now 'pregnant'.   
That's fine with me, as I suppose that gives me an excuse to eat for 2 or 3!! yayy!!     I suddenly feel a 'craving' for that tin of Quality Street we have put away for Christmas  

Moppit.......Good luck for that last home visit, you'll be approved and waiting before you know it!! 

Minmouse.......Enjoy your open evening this evening. Is that the same as in Information day? If so, don't feel nervous (we did too, but there was no need in the end). It is really interesting, and we really enjoyed ours. 

I'm really looking forward to getting to know you all  

Luv Anj x


----------



## minmouse

Well my virgin buddies, 

I remember a wise lady on these boards saying that you must take each step of the adoption journey and break it down into chunks to deal with - the process & waiting is easier that way.  Open Eve tonight - I had read everything they had to tell us although it was very informative, but not scary at all. Spoke to sw afterwards & DPs depression set a few alarm bells ringing.  It doesnt preclude us, but requires an early medical to confirm if we can proceed   I really hope we can Im so keen to get on - also slightly concerned that Im overweight so the diet starts tonight!    

I'm trying to keep positive, Im sure this is the 1st of many hurdles to overcome on the journey. I want to be on 19th Jan Orientation Day so thats the next milestone to achieve. 

M
x


----------



## popsi

mavis.. thank you darling and thank you for our lovely message xxx you will be where we are soon xx, all you lovely people will.. and believe me its does not get any less scary !!... i have not slept for 2 nights excited, scared, and every other emotion.. but OMG even after all this i cant wait xxx


----------



## allyo

Hi to you all and hope you are well 

Welcome to Anjelissa and I like positive vibes especially the one about your workmates now looking on your as being 'pregnant'

Minmouse hope you enjoyed your information evening and that   that your DP's depression will not delay your journey too much and that you get a green light for full steam ahead 

Popsi - so pleased for you

Moppit - hope the 2 months goes quickly for you

As for me and my DP - we are still awaiting the apt for our home visit  

Hi to all the  newbies and sending lots of          to you all

Ally

xxx


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Popsi - what wonderful news      CONGRATULATIONS    How long will it be before you meet your little one? I bet you can't wait! 

Camly - I've been reading about you and your girls. It's following your excitement and the news of Popsi and others recently matched that make this process more bearable, so thank you for remembering us over on this thread  

CG xxx


----------



## popsi

CG... hopefully about 10 weeks xxx .. thank you all for your wonderful wishes xxx... you will all be where we are soon xxx..


----------



## Camly

hello to all the new 'virgins'.  

CG - im glad that you find my diary of use.  i know i found it hard when i was 'waiting' too. its weird now that our waiting to be matched part is over and we have our girls here.  we have actually been up for nearly an hour!    its amazing how quickly things can move. dont think i was actually prepared for that!  

2010 is going to be a great year for us all, im sure of it.

lots and lots of love and hugs camly x x x x


----------



## Moppit

Calmy - So great to hear from you! Amazing that you are finding time to post with the girls home. What is it like having them home? Is it everything you dreamed of? I imagine its very hard and tiring and i know some people feel lots of emotions not all of them positive when they finally get their little ones home. Would love to hear how it has been!

Moppit x


----------



## allyo

Hi to all 

A bit of a moan from me I'm afraid but I am so annoyed!! 

I made the initial enquiry and answered questions, Me and my DP then  then get invited to in info evening and partake in that, we then receive a letter asking if we wish to pursue the adoption journey to which we say YESSSS and are told we will be contacted with an apt for a home visit. YIPPEE we say.

Now today we receive a letter saying that they have picked up on the point that I work for the LA where the Adoption team are and say that their Policy is clear in that they do not assess prospective adopters who are employed by the LA.  I do understand due to equal ops etc., but at no stage did I hide this fact and surely they should have picked up on this before getting our hopes up that they would be able to help us.  

It is now suggested that we contact neighbouring adoption agencies if we wish to pursue out interest.

We are so   as we are now back to square one.

I don't know what to do and who to contact!!!

Any advice would be appreciated

Ally
x x

p.s sorry for the rant!!!
Sorry for the rant


----------



## Lil-J

Hello All

Sorry that I've no time to do personals...it's been a busy week & I'm off to my voluntary work at the nursery shortly.

Looking forward to getting to know you all better.

Sonia, I'm not far from Redditch so maybe we can arrange something?  Maybe we can book something in for January?

Lil-J


----------



## Cars

Hey everyone,

  How cold is it??(central scotland!) 

Hope you are doing ok and getting ready for christmas, my DH and I are totally fanatics when it comes to xmas, love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We sent off our registration forms to three different agencies this week, bought loads of adoption books and booked in for an information night in January so thats the story so far!!

Allyo- I am sorry you were led down the garden path so to speak, hope you get it sorted xx

Calmly-I am absolutel delighted for you, please keep us posted when you have time, so exciting!!

Minmouse- hope medical goes ok, im sure it will, what doesnt kill us makes us stronger!! best of luck xx

Anj- I am very much like you and cannot wait for this new journey, I am by no way naive but feel like this path has been laid out for us and i am going to grab it with both hands xx

Tamelia best of luck with your journey-feel the same as you and glad ivf is behind us , its like aa weight has lifted xx

Cars xxx


----------



## minmouse

Hello wonderful positive ladies    ,

Such a great comfort having you all here to share the journey.

Allyo - so sorry to hear youve had a set back - you would think LA would have picked that  up early on 
Still, Im sure if you register with neighbouring LA ( or VA) now then you could skip the info evening part as current LA can confirm youve done that with them, and move straight on to formal application so that you havent lost any time? Your LA should be able to give you contact details as they share adopters / adoptees sometimes dont they?  Good luck   

Cars - nice to see you posting buddy   Im loaded up with books too - have read them all cover to cover already 

Popsi - not long now!!! 

Moppit - Feb 9th will be here before you know it!  

Anj - congrats on being 'sort of pregnant'!  Your colleagues sound fun  

Tamelia - your child minding experience will be great for this process.  My DP has loads of experience but I dont, so Im going to be "borrowing" my nephews regularly over the next few months 

Wishing everyone else a great weekend. 

M
x


----------



## tamelia

Thank you all so much for the lovely welcome, this already seems like a much more positive experience than IVF treatment has been.

Allyo, my DH works for the LA i was going to apply with, when i phoned them they said they didn't think it would be a problem as long as he didn't work in childrens services.  I am still nervous though as don't want to have to wait to apply then be told that i couldnt anyway.  Hope you get your situation sorted quickly though, how incredibly frustrating for you!

I have a couple of questions if anyone can help me please?  As i am very very new to all this i really don't know very much at all.  Do you generally recommend applying with your LA or has anyone got any recommendations of who i could contact, i know this whole process does take a long time and quite rightly so but from anyones experience is there anything you could suggest to help me get the ball rolling.  I am based in Medway (Kent).  I would really like to avoid any unnecessary delays or other problems due to making a bad decision right from the start.  Sorry this sounds a bit vague but i hope you sort of know what i am trying to say?

I would be very grateful for any snippets of usefulness anyone is kind enough to offer.

Tam x


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

Rachel – I’m not too far from you (Manchester)

Anj – hopefully we will be on our prep course in March too!!

Mini – hope your open evening went well! Glad you’ve got an new milestone to look forwards to…   

Popsi – soooooo happy for you!!   

CG, Calmy, Jo, Cars – HI x x x   

Ally – how frustrating!!! They defo should have picked this up sooner   

Tam – not sure how it works near you, but in the North West there are quite a few voluntary organisations as well as the LA’s.  I phoned about 4 different places, they were all happy to chat and answer my questions   

Moppit – wow great news, not long to go at all now.  Funny how you say you’ll miss the sessions     

Hairdressers for me today, choice of same old or something wild.....


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Hi there,

Rachel - any news yet on your prep course and initial visit report?

Anj - welcome   I hope you manage to get on to the January prep course.   This does feel a much more positive experience so hang in there before you know it you'll be on your prep course.  

Moppit - I know what you mean about feeling strange thinking about no more visits from your SW! It's strange how you life starts to revolve around them during the home study. Good luck with you final visit.  

Minimouse - I'm sure there'll be nothing to worry about and in many ways having an early medical will just get that bit out of the way sooner. Once your DH's GP says the right things SS will be able to concentrate on taking you forward.   Re. weight - I think we've all been there! I had to lose a lot after treatment - I'm a real comfort eater! It's good to be cuddly   It's definately worth borrowing your nephew to get as much childcare experience as you can.  

Popsi - gosh 10 weeks is no time at all - I bet it flies by   Sooo excited for you.  

Ally - so sorry that you've had the run around from your LA   A couple on our prep course work for the LA we're with and it hasn't been a problem for them so it must be a rule of your LA not all LAs! It's a real shame they couldn't have pointed this out sooner. If you don't work in children services could you perhaps see if they're prepared to relax the rule for you? If not I'm sure you'll find another LA willing to take you forward but know how disappointed you must feel at such an unnecessary delay.   

Cars - I hoped it's warmed up up there   I hope you hear back soon from all the agencies you've contacted.

Tam - sorry I can't recommend any agencies in your area. One thing I would do though is ring around a couple and see what ages they are willing to take adopters on for - some close their books to people looking for under 4s - it's also worth asking how long it is until the first information evening and prep courses with them. You'll quickly get a feel for the one you want to go with. Good luck. 

Pinky - so did you go wild...?  

CG xx


----------



## Pinky3

only a bit wild - i've had some bright red streaks put in... i think i'll have more next time


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all and thanks for all the lovely welcome messages 

Sorry for only writing a few personals atm, but I'm still trying to get to grips with who's who and where everyone is at 

Minmouse.......  I very much agree with the advice you were given re/breaking down the adoption process into chunks and each chunk behind you is an achievement. That's how we've been looking at it, and so far with the Initial Application, 101 further forms, Information Day, Initial Home Visit and acceptance onto Prep Course behind us, we feel a great sense of achievement. 
We haven't even been on the Prep Course yet and obviously have the whole Home Study ahead of us, but I think looking at it this way makes it all less daunting and in some ways less of a long stretch ahead of us 

Popsi......  I can't imagine how excited you must be!!  I can't wait to follow the rest of your journey through your introductions and finally getting your little girl home. Huge Congratulations to you both x 

Ally....... I'm so sorry to hear of your disappointing news, as others have said, you really would have thought they'd have picked up on that earlier!  I hope you manage to wizz through the early stages with another LA so you catch up to where you were asap. I am a great believer in destiny when it comes to the big things in life, and who knows, when you eventually get matched and placed with your little one/s you may look back and think that if you hadn't had this setback, you would never have come together with that particular child/children and it will all then make sense  I know it's hard to see from that angle now, but in the future it may turn out to be a huge blessing x

Cars.....  You seem to look at things in a similar way to me. I too believe that certain big things in life are set out for us, although I totally believe we make our own decisions along the way and choose the route we take to get to those larger destined aspects of our life. After so many years of infertility and 3 ICSIs, I truly now believe I am not meant to have my own biological child because there will be a child/children out there in need of a Mummy and Daddy who is destined to be with us. I too am totally happy to have the lid firmly closed on the IVF journey and am very excited that we are now on the path that we were meant to be on all along.  Gosh, lol...that sounded heavy, lol  but I know you know what I mean x

Hi to every one else  I will try to catch up with more personals soon x

A little bit of news my end........we have now been invited onto a Prep Course, and it's in January!!  We're really excited as we were sure we would have to wait until the March/May courses 

That's it for now, catch you all later,

Luv Anj x


----------



## Belliboo

Hi everyone hope your all ok, sorry i've not been on for a while my laptop has been playing up, good news from us we have had our intial visit report back & we have the dates for prep groups which are in january  !!!!!

xxxxx


----------



## minmouse

Hi All,

Rachel & Anj - well done for getting on preps in Jan - soon be here! 
CG - thanks for reassurances, I think u r right - its strange how some days news just feels overwhelming & its the end of the journey, & others days Im far more positive  - its not the end, its just a little 'challenge' to get over before we move on to next stage!
Pinky - liking the sound of red streaks - very christmassy!
Allyo - have u made any progress with a new LA?
Cars, Moppit, Popsi, Tam, Jo, Sonia, Mavis & anyone else that Ive missed (sorry!)  Hello! 

Update from me - I got confirmation of a place on Info Day in Jan.  I realise its all still early days & the LA have yet to really 'accept' us until it gets to prep course / hs, but Im celebrating each step  

M
xxx


----------



## allyo

Hi everyone

Thanks for your messages re our disappointing setback.  We have contacted a few agencies to see if they will take us at the stage we were at and are currently waiting to hear back - fingers crossed    This setback has made us stronger and more determined to follow our dream  

Angeli's and Roach78 - congrats on getting news about your prep courses - bet u you can't wait

Minimouse - Good news about the prep course - cross off that first step!!!  

Calmly - how are you enjoying your little family - is it all you dreamed of?

Pops - Hope it's not too long before you both get to meet your precious little girl - can't wait for updates

Amelia - hope you have found out the answers/info you needed  

Cars - Welcome  have you heard back from any of the agencies you sent your forms too yet?

Sorry if I haven't mentioned anyone and hope you are all well

Ally

x x


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Anj - great news that you're on the January prep course.

Ally - that's the spirit - I'm sure you'll find an agency soon 

Minimouse - every setback can feel major when you've been through so much and want this so much but you will get there  

Well we've signed off the report that's going to panel and are waiting to hear if our SWers supervisor thinks the report needs to be changed in any way. It was really strange reading about ourselves and thinking that the report will be going in front of a load of strangers! They'll know more about us than any of our friends and family by the time they've ploughed their way through our report   Hoping it's all ok and that we can now just concentrate on getting ready for Christmas and then panel on 15 Jan.

CG xxx


----------



## Moppit

Hello Ladies

Quick one from me. Not sure if any of you listened but there was a programme on Radio 5 yesterday on the adoption process. I didnt listen in live but my Mother in Law did and have downloaded it to listen today - its very interesting, a bit negative but lots of it does ring true.

If you want to listen it will be on the BBC Website for a week I think.

Link below.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00p6vmr#synopsis

The section on adoption starts at about 7 minutes.

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites

Moppit x


----------



## minmouse

Hi Moppit,

Thanks so much for the link.  I listened through my lunch.  Like you say, quite negative experiences although a couple more positive to balance the view.  Its good to go into the process with eyes wide open so Im keen to hear as much about it all as possible now - thanks.
M
x


----------



## Belliboo

oh well I've had my first set back today & from the initial home visit report the social worker rang today & have said that as its not 6 full months since our last IVf we now have to wait until april to go onto prep groups as that is when the next ones are, feel so dissappointed but at least its not a no completely just a little more time to wait until we get our family!!!

Have a lovely weekend everyone xxx


----------



## Forever mummy 😀

hi,

rachel78 - i have got to wait till april to go on prep course as we were told we have to wait 12months after our last ivf cycle to be able to move onto the next stage. it seems like a long time away bit it will be here before we no it! i wish we could just get on the prep course now but they say we need time to make sure were ready, which we are! good luck with starting ur prep course, sounds like we'll be starting at the same time x

hi to everyone else, i havent got to no many people as im new to the adoption thread but hope everyone is well, look forward to getting to no u all x

Louise x


----------



## sweets x

Hi. Can i join you. Am new to all this and to be honest don't know where to start. How do i find out where to apply for adoption. Sorry if that sounds like a silly question. Any advice would be welcomed x x


----------



## allyo

Hi Nicola and welcome.

You will find lots of help and advice here  

To start the ball rolling I would recommend you contact your local authority/council and speak to the adoption department.

Ally

x


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Just a quickie as I'm held up late at work  but have a few mins.

Thanks to all of you for your congratulations re/getting our Prep Course dates 

Once again, sorry for only a few personals, but as you all know it takes a while to get to know everyone and remember where everyone's at!

Nicola......Welcome to you , and I would just echo the advice Ally gave, in that the best place to go first of all is probably your local authority/council. That's what we did. 
Lots and lots of luck as you start this new exciting journey 

Rachel....I'm so sorry you now have to wait until April for your Prep Course . Hopefully if next year is anything like this year, it will be April before you know it! I know it must have been really frustrating though. We had to wait longer than normal for our Info Day (as they had cancelled one due to lack of resources at that time), so I sort of know how you feel, it's a bit frustrating, but we'll all get there in the end. I hope it goes quickly for you 

Minmouse....I smile when I type your name  that's so cute! Anyway... just wanted to say lots and lots of luck for your Info Day date in January, we were quite excited when we got ours, as it really seems like you're on your way then doesn't it  We really enjoyed ours and it filled in a lot of gaps in the info we had gained up till that time. We also had a guest speaker, who was a lovely lady who had adopted 2 little girls. It was really great to hear her story. 
It'll come around before you know it 

Cotsworld Girl.... How exciting that you're almost at the end of the Assessment Process!  Lots and lots of luck for your panel date in January. I don't want to wish my life away, but it'd be great to be 'beamed' ahead to the point you're at now 

Hi to everyone else  I hope all's well with you all, and you're all ready for Xmas  I can't believe it's so close now! Where has this year gone! 

Luv Anj x x


----------



## Moppit

Hello Lovely Ladies!

Hope everyone is starting to feel festive. I know Christmas can be a difficult time to be childless when all we all want is to have a little person to help bring Christmas alive but lets all think positively that perhaps this might be our last Christmas without a little one!

Nicola - Welcome - you are in the right place. As everyone says go to your local authority first. You don't have to go to your own LA you can try others if your own LA are not forthcoming. You do have to be tenacious as they can try and put you off but stick with it. Alternatively you can go to a private agency - look on the web for ideas. A good place to start is the BAAF website which has lots of advice on how to start out. Also Adoption UK has a good website. Good luck!

We are following closely behind CG with panel in February! Got our draft report yesterday and fed back some comments today. Our SW is super effecient and got it done very quickly. I can't believe how comprehensive it is. Its like reading the red book in 'This is your life'!

Love to all

Mx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi Moppet,

I know what you mean re/This Is your Life!  
I am currently sat down for the umph time ploughing through a certain very long form (I'm sure you know the one I'm talking about   ). It's amazing how many things you have to dig out to find out long since forgotten dates, addresses etc etc.
My DH said to me the other day, it's scary how much info will be held on us in one place after this is all completed! We could probably be cloned with it! Even scarier thought, lol  
Lots of luck with your Panel in Feb. We'll probably just be starting Home Study then.

Luv Anj x


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

Hope you are all well

I am so excited and nervous at the same time as we have got our dates through for the adoption prep courses which will start in February 2010, its starting to feel so real now. We have also recieved our application form and was told to send our CRB Check form with the completed application form, well me and DH thought it would be in the envelope but couldn't find it so rang the adoption agency up saying we havent got it. That day at work I recieved a phonecall which one of our secretaries took as someone was on our phone but all she said was its (name of social worker) returning her call, so our secretary thought I was waiting for the call so didn't take any further details when I said I didn't know anybody of that name, then the secretary got worried (she is new bless) and wondered who the call could be for. Anyway when I got home there was a phone message on my answer machine from the social worker to give her a call back, but while looking through my adoption folder that I have been organising I found the CRB forms - I feel so embarrased and such a narna, so left social worker a message stating I found the CRB Forms and felt embarrassed for ringing up the agency saying I haven't recieved one   , I also said that when she rings me up at work she can say where she is from as all my work colleagues know we are going for Adoption. They have all been giving me support through all my past IVF treatments too.

Anyway thats all my news hope everyone is okay.

Love Sonia xx


----------



## Belliboo

just popping onto say hi to everyone hope your all ok no news from me just playing the waiting game until prep groups in april, xxx


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Gals - i'm just popping on too, waiting for March...

Moppit - your words were lovely


----------



## sweets x

Hi

Thankyou for all nyour warm welcomes.
Have rang LA and left a message as they were shut.
Will ring again after new year.

Had review at clinic etc... and they have recommened more tests we should have done.
Not sure what to do as the results could just mean we are definately going to adopt anyhow and if we have the tests will put us back timewise form starting adoption procedure (you following me     )
Wha would you do??
Part of me thinks to just leave it all behind and concentrate on adoption but also will be thinking of what if??
Also, my mum thinks i should have the tests as if we did fall pregnant naturally would cause more heartache if we did have chromosone issues.

Enough waffling now

Hope everyone is well and can enjoy christmas, always has a tinge of sadness for us ladies too doesn't it

   nicola x


----------



## Moppit

Dear Nicola

My heart goes out to you as its a really difficult decision to make and only you and DH/DP can really decide. What I would say is that from my perspective I felt it was necessary to do everything we could to find out if there was a possibility of having our own children before moving forward with adoption. I knew in myself that if I did not do this I would always be wondering... what if and did not want to think 5 years down the line that I should have done more. As a result of this we ended up doing every test that was recommended to us including speaking to a US clinic and having some tests done that arent even usually done in teh UK. Fertility is an incredibly grey area but they did seem to indicate that there was a problem that would not be resolved and as a result we were told to give up on IVF and consider either surrogacy or adoption. We opted for surrogacy. Its a very personal decision to give up and you have to draw a line somewhere but the line has to be in a place you feel comfortable and where you won't have regrets. 

Not sure if this helps...

Mx


----------



## Moppit

Just realised I wrote that we opted for surrogacy when I meant adoption!!!! Sorry!


----------



## sweets x

Moppit- thankyou for your reply.
Wish someone could just say to me 'nic do this'  
Reading your profile, adoption does take a long time doesn't it.
Feeling very uncertain about things, think i'm never going to be a mummy at this rate.
Think deep down i want to do the tests but feel that if they tell us what we think, that its my eggs feel that we have 'wasted time' that we could of been waiting to start adoptoion.

Hope everything goes well for you in feb   
nicola x x


----------



## sweets x

Hi, me again.
Just had a call from the council.
Started filling in her form over the phone, we haven't waited long enough since out ivf to start procedures yet.
Bit gutted but understand why they have a waiting time of 6 months.
Quick question, 
Dh has said we might as well have the tests done from fertility clinic after all now as we have time to save up for them.
The lady i spoke to said 6 months from last tx, does that include tets etc.... too or just form actual tx cycles.

Take care 

nicola x x


----------



## minmouse

Hi All,

Nicola - Im sure someone will be along shortly who has recent tx & can advise u accordingly.  Good luck with whatever you decide.

No news here, just waiting around for Jan info day.  Hav spent the time preparing as much as i can tho - been speaking to friends that I would ask to be a refs and all have been great about it   

Just wanted to wish all the Adoption Virgins a very Merry Christmas and i hope everyone achieves their dreams in 2010.  
M
x


----------



## Belliboo

Hi everyone just wanted to wish you all a very merry christmas & a happy new year lets hope we're all one christmas closer to our children xxx


----------



## Moppit

Just logging on to say Happy Christmas to all the lovely adoption virgins. Its been a difficult year for many of us but we are all one step nearer achieving our dreams of becoming Mummy's. I'll be going to midnight mass shortly and will have a quiet word with God while I'm there to make sure that this time next year we are all getting excited about waking up on Christmas day with a child.

Love to you all and thanks for all your support this year.

Moppit x


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies - hope everyone had a merry xmas       

The lady who lives nextdoor to us told me how she wished she was having xmas at our house (just me and DH) she has to little boys under three   funny how the grass is always greener


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

I just wanted to add my 'Merry Christmas' to you all and hope you all had a lovely day.

I bet lots of you (like us) had a lot of comments like, 'this may be the last Christmas with just the 2 of you!'  
It's a possibility, and an exciting thought though hey  

It's my DH's 40th Birthday tomorrow and I hope his 40th year brings him the best present of all later in the year, and that is to be a Daddy, which he so deserves 

Lots of love to all of you and all the best for 2010, lets hope this will be THE year for all of us  

Luv Anj xx


----------



## sweets x

Hi peeps. Just a quickie as on mob. Hope everyone has fun tomorrow whatever you have planned. May 2010 bring us all what we would love. Glad to see the end of 2009 thats for sure lol. Take care. Nicola x x


----------



## Belliboo

Just a quickie to wish everyone a very happy new year & I hope 2010 is a very special year for all of us &   all our dreams come true xxxxxx


----------



## minmouse

Happy New Year Adoption Buddies!

Its already been said, but I too hope that 2010 brings everyone their dreams   (and was it just me, but I was wishing away all the festivities so that we can all crack on with info days, prep courses, home studies and panels  )

Best wishes all
x


----------



## Moppit

Dear Lovely Ladies

Just a quick one to say Happy New Year to you all. Very glad to see the back of 2009 but hopeful that 2010 might finally bring what I have been dreaming of for a long time. As the clock struck 12 I think I felt the happiest I have felt on New Years Eve for a very long time knowing that we are alot closer to becoming a Mummy and Daddy than we were this time last year. I feel good about this year for all of us on this site and can only hope that this time next year we are all posting to say Happy New Year not only to eachother but to our children! It started well with a beautiful sunny day and long may it continue!

Love to you all, the bravest ladies I know!

Moppit x


----------



## Suzie

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=222922.0


----------



## Lil-J

Happy New Year to all...may this be the year your dreams come true.... 

I think my resolution should be to come on the boards more!!!

Love to all,
Lil-J
xxx


----------



## Cars

Hi All  

Hope you all had a brilliant christmas and may this be our year for the adoption virgins   

Just a quick question, we sent off registration forms a few weeks before christmas to the scottish adoption agency in Edinburgh and they rang this morning to ask us to come in for an "initial interview", anyone got any tips for questions we could ask??  We are so excited that the ball is rolling!!

Any advice would be great xxx

Caroline


----------



## minmouse

Hey Cars  , 

All these agencies are so different arent they? Our init interview was by phone & they obviously had a form to fill in with basics like; home set up, work, family, child care arrangements, expectations of child/ren you wish to adopt, etc  Could maybe ask them about their agency stats. i.e what % of applicants succeed to approval?, how many placements in 09?, typical ages of children placed? average timescale to approval? etc. I found this stuff quite interesting (got answers at Open Eve), although I then started working out mathematically the chances of us succeeding - cos Im a bit sad like that!  

Im sure someone thats been via same agency will be along to help soon, in the meantime Ill wish you good luck with the meeting and getting that ball a rollin!  

M
x


----------



## Moppit

Hello Cars

Very exciting that you have a date for your initial interview with the agency. We are working with a Local Authority so the process may be a little different but our initial interview consisted of 2 social workers coming to see us at home and questioning us on our motivations for adoption, what had led us to consider adoption, our thoughts on the type of children available for adoption - age, issues etc. We also covered some detail around our relationship - how long we had known eachother etc and what we had to offer to children including what was available in the local area. When compared to others expderiences of the initial interview I think ours was relatively intensive as I know other people's were shorter. It also gave us the opportunity to ask them questions about hte process etc. They also looked round our house. The interview lasted a couple of hours and we heard within 3 days that they were happy to move forward with us. I think the purpose of the interview was to ensure we understood the kind of children available and were not unrealistic and that we were ready and able to move forward. It seemed to be more about them assessing us than us asking questions but it is an opportunity to do this. In terms of preparing I would think hard about how you would communicate your motivations for adoption and what you understand about the children available and the kind of child you would hope to be matched with. Be careful about not being too prescriptive as most agencies tend to shy away from working with couples who have a very defined idea of the kind of child they would like as the reality is that most children available for adoption are neither tiny babies nor without problems.


Try not to get too anxious, the fact that they want to see you is a very positive sign and it means you have passed the first hurdle. You should fly through the interview and be able to start the process properly very quickly!

Good luck

Moppit x


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

Phoned to 'check' we are on the prep course in March - i want a letter   so they cant change their minds   but the lady said everything was fine.  So the ticking off the week begins now...  letters wont get sent out till eary Feb   aarrrrhhhh

Caroline - our SW seemed to appriciate our honsety in our preferences of the children   good luck


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi Pinky,

Our Prep course is mid January, so we will be doing our Home Study at approximately the same time as you   
Maybe we can help to keep each other sane   

Luv Anj x


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Anj - oohh i hope so, i feel i'm going a bit   already


----------



## Anjelissa

Pinky said:


> Hi Anj - oohh i hope so, i feel i'm going a bit  already


Before you know it we'll be approved, waiting to meet our little one/ones and saying, 'wow, it only seems like 2mins ago that we did our prep course!' 
Well, I hope so anyway. 

I'll let you know how ours goes, and if there's anything that may help before you go on yours x

Luv Anj x


----------



## popsi

just popping in to wish you all good luck.. we attended our prep course november 08, started HS in January, were approved in July and in just over a week(weather permitting     ) we go to matching panel for our little 10 month old princess... I never thought we would ever have a cot in our house but we have a lovely pink and ivory nursery waiting to bring her home in a few weeks .. ... so just wanted to let you all know that this journey is certainly worth the hard work and waiting   ...if i can help with anything just ask me xx


----------



## Cars

Hey  

Moppit, Minmouse-Thank you for you replies, have wrote some of your questions down! Don't know what I would do without this fantastic website and FF like you!

Popsi-Love hearing good new stories, have you met her?? What was that like, you must be on cloud nine! 10 months is a fab age! great personality but still just a wee baby 

Anj and Pinky- You'll do great on the prep courses,   

Love to everyone xxxxxx


----------



## Moppit

Popsi - Great to hear from you and so, so excited for you. Matching panel the final small hurdle and then she'll be home with you! What a 2010 you are going to have! Out of interest has it been a long wait between seeing her profile and getting to panel? I note that you were approved in July which must feel like a long time ago! 

Cars - Only too happy to help. I have found FF a life line over the last few years and will always be grateful to all the wonderful brave ladies on here for helping me through. Long may it continue!

Mx


----------



## Anjelissa

Awwwwww! Popsi, I just read your post out to my DH and we both went...awwwwww how lovely!  
That's so amazing, you must be sooooo excited! I can't wait to hear all your news when your little angel moves in!   
Your journey is so similar to ours and it's so lovely to hear of such a happy ending  

Hi everyone else  

I get the feeling 2010 is going to be really exciting for us adoption virgins!   

Just an idea....does anyone think it'd be nice to have a list in this thread of where we're all at?
I know there is a general one on the adoption boards, but it'd be great to have one on here so we can see clearly where we're all at and keep track of all our exciting 'milestones'. 
What do you all think?
Wynnster...I don't mind doing it, and updating it in this thread if everyone likes the idea. I have looked after a few in other threads so I know it can take a bit of time to keep regularly updated, so I don't mind if everyone likes the idea. (Don't want to step on your toes though )   

Luv Anj x


----------



## Camly

hiya virgins

just wanted to 'pop' in and say happy 2010 to you all. hope its a good un and all your dreams come true.

lots of love camly  x x x x


----------



## wynnster

Anjelissa said:


> Just an idea....does anyone think it'd be nice to have a list in this thread of where we're all at?
> I know there is a general one on the adoption boards, but it'd be great to have one on here so we can see clearly where we're all at and keep track of all our exciting 'milestones'.
> What do you all think?
> Wynnster...I don't mind doing it, and updating it in this thread if everyone likes the idea. I have looked after a few in other threads so I know it can take a bit of time to keep regularly updated, so I don't mind if everyone likes the idea. (Don't want to step on your toes though )


Hi
No thats fine, the one on the main board is not updated regularly enough as it is hard to keep track of those who don't post frequently and I understand that it would be easier to see it if its on your own thread 

No squished toes  Shout if you need me

Hi to all


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

Happy new year.

ANJ - I think that is a great idea to do the updates of the stages everyone is at.

Well my post is very frustrating I am afraid. When I was 21 years old, that was 15 years ago, I went to Moldova to do some voluntary work for 3 months (between russia and romania) working with children of 5 years old teaching them english. Well the adoption team wanted me to get reference from the organisation I was with (they asked in September 2009). Well recently I was in contact with a friend of mine who kindly gave me a reference as he was the company representative back then in 1995. The company no longer exists now. Last night's email said According to the adoption team he gave me a positive reference BUT NOW they said they cannot go by my friends reference alone but NOW I also have to provide a POLICE CHECK FROM MOLDOVA   Well back in 1995, Moldova had only recently come out of communism and the Chechnya war was on and there was moldovan guards there and they said if the war had gone into Moldova, then we would have had to go to the Ukraine. I am so annoyed. I have emailed my friend who has texted his friend in moldova about how to go about getting a police check from moldova 15 years ago. I have tried to ring the moldovan embassy in London about this but there was no answer - will try again. If it wasn't for my friend I don't know what or how I would go about it. But the social worker said the onus was on me to find out about this moldova police check  .

I didn't  have a good day at work today either . Had a run in with one of my work colleagues. We sorted it out later in the day but just after the run in I was so wound up and angry at her I became upset and tearful.   I felt such an idiot. 

So my DH took me out for a meal and pudding and 2 pints of beer tonight . Felt much better.  

Anyway hope everyone is okay

Speak to you all soon

Sonia xx


----------



## minmouse

Hi All,

Anj - I think a 'status' list would be a great idea!  I do try & scroll back through to see where everyones at but that would be so helpful, especially as we start a new year and with so much excitement coming up.

Popsi - So exciting to read your posts and so close now! You must be counting down the hours!

Sonia - I know agencies have a duty to check our backgrounds, but given this was so long ago, and such a complex situation I am _amazed _ the lengths they expect you to go to.? Good luck with it , keep us posted.

Everyone else a big hello 

M
x


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

Anj - great idea   

Popsi - wow, not long to go at all now   

Sonia - OMG are they serious?? the whole thing seems over the top.  Hope someone at the Embasy can help you out   

Well i didn't get a call back so must assume im on the course in March, which is only 7 weeks away... any tips ladies??


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Just a quickie as I'm at work and shouldn't be on here  
That's great re/my proposed list   I'm glad you think it's a good idea. I agree with what others have said in that I too keep having to check back and look at signatures etc to keep track of who's at which stage.

I'll do it on my next day off.  

Catch you all soon,

Luv Anj x


----------



## Camly

hiya 

hope u lovely ladies are not getting cabin fever with being stuck in with the dredful weather! its nice to look at but not so nice to be out in.

sonia -  what the heck? i cannot believe ss are asking for this, going back to 1995?!?! and also to leave it to you to sort out?  can you not maybe speak to someone higher? i hope u get it sorted.  best of luck.

lots of love camly x x x x x


----------



## popsi

hiya ladies

to answer your questions.. no we have not met out princess yet and we wont till first day of intros which will hopefully    be end of january ... but we have seen lots of photos of her and met her foster mum who is simply the nicest most amazing person in the world.. but we have fallen in love with her cute little face already  

well today we have been and bought all the finishing touches for the nursery and i have to say we are really happy with it.. and can confirm there is no such thing as too much pink lol !!

thinking of you all.. ang.. yes our journey has been similar... i remember you posting on the Easter Bunnies thread (found my way there once in error when i was looking for a different cycle thread and just had to keep popping in to read all your news etc lol)

hugs all round.. hope everyone is safe and warm in this terrible weather.. i dont want any more snow now as I want panel to run smoothly 

xxx


----------



## Moppit

Dear Sonia

Just read your post and absolutely fuming that they have asked you for such a ridiculous thing. I honestly do wonder sometimes about this process and how difficult they make it. I would definately go to another member of the team and say you are finding it difficult explaining the reasons you gave us below and see what they say. I don't think this is reasonable at all and you should not be made to try and find something that probably doesnt even exist.

Grrrr sometimes this process just makes me so angry!

Moppit x


----------



## Lyndsey1111

Hi all

I just have to say reading some of your stories...im sat here in tears! You are all amazing people, however you all stay sane through this whole process is a miracle! I guess you just keep focused on the end result.....a little one of your own....

Well DH and i have just (Nov 09) had our last IUI treatment (all 3 BFN) and have our review consultation for IVF tomorrow (weather permitting) and i am going to try and be as positive as i can for this whole IVF process, but to be honest i dont hold our much hope..... I always said i didnt think i could adopt, i wanted to carry a baby of my own but the further away this dream seems to get the more i think i would be able to provide a loving home for a child, even if i hadnt carried them myself......Sorry for waffling!

Anyway, from reading some of the diaries and stories on here i can see that adoption is a long process, so i really feel we need to get prepared for if ivf doesnt work, at least have an idea what i need to do when the time comes to start the process. But there are a few questions i have, i hope you dont mind?

Firstly, and i will be honest here, DH and i arent rolling in money, we have debt, we only own part of our house (shared ownership) and between us we have less than no experience with children/babies (we have friends and family with little ones and we dont avoid seeing them, but we have never babysat any of them etc...) Now i know to some of you, you are probably thinking why on earth are we considering adoption, but i think we would still make excellent parents, despite this, do you think these are serious issues that would prevent us from being able to adopt, because to be honest, i dont think we could start another process if the outcome is likely to be another negative.

Thanks for all your help. And i wish you all the luck in the world for your adoption journeys.

Lyndsey


----------



## Camly

hiya lyndsey

first of all    to you. im sorry for your BFN's.  best of luck for tomorrow.

with regards to adoption - i think alot of agencies whether local authority or voluntary organisations would prefer you to wait (prob 6) months before going down the adoption process. this is to make sure you have had time to 'grieve' so to speak. 

with regard to money - we are no were rolling in money    if only. what they need to make sure is that you have enough to support a child.  i can't speak for the debt part but again im sure if its all manageable then it should be ok.  shared ownership - again, not sure about this as we have a mortgage but i would like to think it wouldn't cause any major problems?  you may have to get some 'child' experience, whether it be volunteering or babysitting etc. i know that our sw'er came and saw us with my dh's kids and also my nephew. i dont think any of these situations would stop you from going down the adoption route.  it may be an idea to google for some contacts in your area. normally they send you out an information pack and then you fill in a form if your interested, then someone will come out and chat to you both.

i hope this sorta makes sense (and can only speak from what our authority has done with us).

lots of luck  x x x x


----------



## Anjelissa

*.....Adoption Virgins 2010.....*​ ​
*Initial Enquiries *

Tamelia.......... Waiting to start due to minimum gap required since last tx
Nicola1........... '' '' '' ''
Louise03........ '' '' '' '' 
Allyo............... Delayed by current LA/investigating alternative agencies
ClaireP .......... Making initial enquiries

*Information Days & Initial Home Visits *

Minmouse...... Info Day on 19th Jan 2010
Cars................Info Day in Jan 2010
Mrs Dibbles.....Initial Home Visit Nov 2009
Lady Pink&#8230;...&#8230;.Info Day on 20th Jan 2010

*Prep Courses *

Anjelissa&#8230;..&#8230;18th/19th & 25th/26th Jan 2010
Sonia7&#8230;&#8230;.....Feb 2010
Pinky&#8230;..&#8230;.&#8230;..March 2010
Rachel 78&#8230;...14th/15th & 19th/20th April 2010

*Home Study & Awaiting Panel *

Moppit&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..&#8230;......Panel Date Feb 2010
Cotsworld Girl&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;Panel Date on hold for a short while  
Lil-J&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.....&#8230;.Currently on HS
Shoe Queen&#8230;..&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;Started HS Oct 2009
Mavis&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;......Started HS Jan 2009
Chocolate Button&#8230;&#8230;Currently on HS

*Approved & Waiting  *

None at present

*Matched & Introductions  *

alanelaine&#8230;.....Matched with 30month old little girl 5th Nov 2009
Popsi&#8230;&#8230;...........Matched with little girl 30th Nov 2009 (intros start end Jan 2010)

*Little Ones finally at home  *

Suzie&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.....Foster Carer & Forever Mummy to little boy aged 4 years (Oct 200
Wynnster&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;....Forever Mummy to 'Munchkin' aged 2 years
Calmy&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;..&#8230;.2 little daughters moved in 25th Nov 2009
Old Timer&#8230;&#8230;.......Little boy moved in June 2008
MissSunshine&#8230;...Forever Mummy to little girl 'Sunshine' aged 19mths, moved in 7th Dec 09

Please let me know (via pm, as I may not catch it in thread) if you'd like to be added, updated, deleted, or even just certain wording changed.

*Good Luck to all of us in 2010*​ 
​


----------



## Lil-J

Thanks Anj...really useful.

Make sure you rest up & get better soon!!     

Lils xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Thanks Lil-J x

I forgot to say..........

Cotswold Girl......Lots and lots of luck for your panel on 15th Jan, as always I'm sure it's just a formality now, although I know we will both be sooo nervous when we get to ours, so I'm thinking of you. 
****(Just heard you have a delay with your panel date. Hope all's ok)****  

Luv Anj x


----------



## Camly

well done anj! ur a clever girl. thank you.

best of luck on your journeys. x x x x


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi Camly,

Sorry, I've just realised that I listed you as Calmy rather than Camly, oops, it's corrected now though x

I've just read your diary  

It's so inspirational and so lovely to hear you describe your life now with your 2 little girls.
I hope to be where you are in the future and be able to give inspiration to others going through this challenging process.  

Love Anj x


----------



## Old Timer

Just to let you know Cotswold Girl has had to delay her panel date.  I'm sure she'll come on and explain a bit more at some point but I didn't want you all thinking she was ignoring you or you wondering what had happened.

OT x


----------



## Anjelissa

Thanks OT, I'll update the list and my post x
CG, hope all's ok with you  

Luv Anj x


----------



## Moppit

Thanks so much for doing the list Anj. Great to see where we all are on the journey and to be able to support everyone at their different stages!

CG - Hope that you are okay and that panel hasnt been delayed for too long. Thinking of you.

Mx


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Just a quick post as unfortunately life has decided to throw another challenge our way! Our adoption plans are having to go on hold for now as just before Christmas I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This has come as a huge shock not least because I was feeling so well and looking forward to us being approved at the adoption panel later this week. Instead the next few weeks month will involve surgery and chemo   

You great ladies have got me through so much in the past so if you can spare me some positive vibes they'd be much appreciated. I'll be in touch when I'm feeling stronger.

Good luck everyone, 

Thanks OT - you're a true friend  

Lots of love,

CG xxx


----------



## Belliboo

cotsworld girl sending you a   sorry to hear your devastating news, sending you lots of      to get through the next few months hun xxxxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Oh CG, I'm so sorry   what a cruel blow!  

Lots and lots of positive vibes and hugs being sent your way as we speak    

I hope this tough month will be made as comfortable and as easy for you as possible, and that the surgery and chemo is a great success    

I wish there were words for times such as these that would magic things better x  

Sending you even more positive and healing vibes   

Love Anj x x


----------



## Moppit

CG - I am in tears at my desk having just read your post.   I am so, so sad for you. To be so close to achieving the dream only to have it snatched away is so cruel. 

Please, please stay positive and focus on getting well. The adoption process is postponed not cancelled and I know that your SW will want to get you back to panel just as soon as you are well. You will be a Mummy and it will happen soon, just hang in there.

For now you must focus on getting well and getting through the treatment. A very dear friend of mine went through breast cancer last year and is now out the other side and enjoying life again as if nothing had ever happened. I am sure it will be the same for you and before long you'll be back focused on adoption and getting excited about welcoming a child into your home.

My thoughts are with you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help in anyway.

Mxxx


----------



## Belliboo

Angelissa I have pm'd you wher we are up to as with our adoption journey for your fantastic list !!!!!!

Popsi wow bet you are really looking forward to meeting your little one, her room sounds gorgeous, I can't wait for the day when I am able to decorate our childs bedroom!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Camly

CG -   i am so very sorry to read your post.  not sure what to say apart from please take care of yourself.  thinking about you and as the girls say, hang on in there. there is a little one out there needing you to be well.

lots of love camly x x x x


----------



## minmouse

CG - Im so so sorry to hear your news.  We look forward to welcoming you back on your journey when you feel stronger.  I love Camlys words - "there is a little one out there needing you to be well". Well said.   

M
x


----------



## Anjelissa

I totally agree Minmouse!

You are so close to the end of assessment CG that it is most likely that your little one has already made his/her appearance into this world, so as Camly so brilliantly put it...he/she is out there needing you to get well! 
Now you have no choice but to get well!    

Luv Anj x


----------



## Old Timer

CG - Am pleased you have posted hun as I know the ladies here will give you support and all the help they can.  I hope you don't mind me posting, I didn't want to put the details but thought it best putting something.  As you know I am on email/at the end of the phone and only a car journey away and will do all I can to help you through this and out the other side.  You are going to make a great Mummy, please hold on to that and stay positive.  Love OT xxx


----------



## popsi

CG... so sorry to hear this news, words are inadequate, but i know for sure your a strong positive person as you have got this far, and you will beat this illness with support from your wonderful DH.. and you will be a Mum just a little later than you had hoped.. sending you much love xxxx


----------



## allyo

Thanks Anjelissa

No news yet but will update you as soon as I have news

Ally

a


----------



## allyo

CG - Have just read your post and words fail me.  I send you   and   for a successful and speedy recovery for you so that you are able to continue your journey and finally become a mummy.  My thoughts are with you and your DP

Ally

x


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps. Hope your all ok. This is just a quick question really. Hope you don't mind. I'm such a bad ff er. Will defo try and be better and keep up more. I have endo. Which Will need more surgery as its been put off for us to ttc. I'm worried this Will in against us with adoption. When i spoke with adoption lady before xmas she asked  if we had health issue's. I just mentioned our asthma and she said it shouldn't as long as were not hospitalized with it. Obviously with the endo op i Will be. Sorry if i have waffled. Take care x x


----------



## minmouse

HI Nicola,

Don't know the answer for sure, but from what I read on here the best policy seems to be to check with your s/w in an 'honesty is the best policy' type stance?  

Im sure though when they refer to health issues, they are looking for ongoing issues which could cause you long-term problems or childcare concerns?  Whilst you will be hospitalized for endo op - it would be short-term /post op recovery - so as long as you have a backup childcare plan whilst you are in recovery, I wouldnt have though it was a major issue? (And possibly would be done prior to you bringing your LO home?) I also had endo / ops, so you have my sympathies.  It would get raised as part of your GP health check thingy anyway.

Im sure one of the ladies who is further along the process, or has experienced same, will be along shortly to give you better advice so I just wanted to wish you luck on your journey
x


----------



## popsi

Nicola

I have Endo and have had minor and major surgery for it... never once was it even mentioned only on the medical forms.. and we go to matching panel on Monday morning for our 11 month princess xx good luck and dont be put off at all xx

love to everyone else x


----------



## MissSunshine

CG-Just wanted to pop in and send you a massive cyber    Sending so many well wishes your way. Get well and stay strong!!

All our love hugs and kisses,
Rhonda, Dh and Sunshine.XxX


----------



## Cars

CG- Dont know what to say but as calmly said you absolutely have a reason to get better so you can continue this journey and meet the litlle one you so deserve. I'll be praying for you that you find the strenght to beat this and kick the big C right in the cahoonies! One of my best friends was diagnosed with it last January , had chemo and surgery and was  back in work by april and is now doing absolutely fantastic. Its amazing where you'll find the strenght, we'll all be here when you need us xxx Positive energy coming your way!                                                             

Love Cars


----------



## curvycat

Just wanted to pop on here to send my love and best wishes to CG

I am so sorry my love that you have been sent this challenge but I am sure you will overcome this hurdle as you have everyother God has sent in your direction 

I will be thinking about you xxx


----------



## sonia7

CG (((Hugs)))

luv Sonia xx


----------



## kirmut

Hi Ladies

Newbie alert here!!! Quick sum up...Just had our first hs meeting with SW yesterday so actually feel like we are on our way now. Made first enquiry last July and attended info evening in August, had hols so delay till initial home interview, that occurred end of September then they lost our info. Lots of phone calls chasing and finally in December received the letter to say they were happy for us to begin process and to be aware there was several months delay in getting SW allocated. Was then very surprised and happy to receive a call to say we'd been allocated and she would be visiting us in January.

So we're off and running, got HS visits booked weekly for the next 2 months, booked a date for SW to observe us with our nephews, and should be booked on prep course in March. Panel should be within 6 months. Very excited and glad to be getting closer to our long awaited family. We're hoping for a sibling pair under 4.


----------



## Moppit

Kirmut - Welcome to the board! Great news that you are already well on your way with the process. It sounds like you have been really proactive and its great that your SW is committing to get you to panel in 6 months as thsi is really quick! You'll enjoy the HS. Its time consuming but really insightful and you get to know alot about yourself and your DH/DP throughout. We have just come to the end of ours and go to panel on the 9th of Feb so you are arent far behind and we too are hoping to adopt 1 or 2 children aged under 4. Enjoy the feeling of being on your way to being an adoptive Mummy!

Anyone on the board who has already been to panel I wondered what you wore. May seem like a silly question but already thinking about what we should wear on the 9th of February to create the right impression. I know its a little thing but I think I need something to worry about which is in my control!

Love to all the virgins!

Moppitx


----------



## Old Timer

Hiya

We went smart/casual for panel.  I wore black trousers, a bright coloured top and a black swing cardigan (it was Sept so a bit warmer!) and DH wore a pair of smart black jeans (that don't look like jeans) and a casual shirt.  I dodn't want to go in a suit as I didn't want to look 'business' like and I don't do dresses/skirts very often and wouldn't have felt comfy wearing one.  We were basically told to dress smart/casual in something that you feel comfortable in.

Good luck, Feb will be here before you know it.
OT x


----------



## popsi

Hiya Moppit

For approval panel I wore black trousers and a long belted tunic type top.. hubby wore black trousers and a shirt, not tie or jacket as he is not a suit guy lol ... so smart but comfortable 

good luck xx


----------



## Camly

hiya moppit

same as the other girls - dh wore smart trousers and shirt and i wore trousers, polo neck and smartish jacket. nothing too fancy    best of luck and it will be here in no time!!    x x x x


----------



## popsi

oh now i am wondering exactly what to wear for matching panel on Monday lol !!


----------



## Old Timer

The same sort of thing Popsi, smart but casual   Good luck for Monday, I found matching panel so different to approval in a good way..

OT x


----------



## popsi

OT.. thank you   xx


----------



## minmouse

Just a quick welcome to Kirmut   
Good luck to popsi for Monday 
And a good weekend to everyone else  
M
x


----------



## Cars

Hey everyone  

Well yesterday went great, we actually met two agencys one in Edinburgh and the other came to or home in the afternoon, we have decided to go with St Andrews and start prep course next Wednesday! Looking forward to it but not naive about the journey ahead! Feel like its going to fly!

Love to everyone, have a fab weekend

Cars xx


----------



## Camly

hello 

welcome kirmet -   if ur looking to adopt siblings under 4, you had better get used to having been up for about an hour like me    its brilliant! our girls are 2 and 3 - 14 months between them.  best of luck with your journey. look forward to hearing more.

Pospi - good luck for monday.  

cars - brill news about prep course starting wed.   again, looking forward to hearing how you get on. what we didnt realise at the time (niave) but we were being 'assessed' at that stage. it was mentioned in our form f about how we were at prep grps.

hello and   to everyone else. hope u all have a great weekend.

lots of love camly x x x x x


----------



## Pinky3

Hi ladies 

CG   no words honey, just plenty of       for you   

Anyone got any reading recomendations before we go on our prep group??


----------



## Cars

Hey Pinky,

Just read a book "what to expect when youre adopting" by dr ian palmer, thought it was really informative and easy to read, got it from amazon xx


----------



## popsi

Pinky... i read an adoption story by Maria James.. its was a lovely book to read, we then lent it to family and friends for them to see what its like.. its quite emotional though as its well written describing feelings, but its also happy... if you see what i mean lol... sorry head mushed at the moment with panel Monday !! xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all, Just a quickie,

Welcome Kirmut  

Popsi.....I've read An Adoption Story by Maria James too and atm my MIL is half way through it, my DH will read it next and then it's going to SIL and then to my best friend who are all keen to read it 
Out of all the books I've read, some very heavy, but important and useful (such as those on attachment) and some slightly lighter, I would say this was the one that I have gained the most from. I read it in a day as I couldn't put it down!
We bought the BAAF recommended book for Grandparents and other relatives which we will also pass around, but I think in many ways 'An Adoption Story' is far more useful for them. My MIL thinks it's a great book and is really enjoying it. I just think it will give her a greater understanding about the whole process and possible hurdles than any other book I've read, or even than we can explain as we go along.

Catch you all soon,

Luv Anj x


----------



## Anjelissa

Popsi.....Sorry, I meant to say...Good luck for Monday  
We have our Prep Course on Monday, so we'll be nervous along with you, although for different reasons. 

Lots and lots of Luck x x

Luv Anj x


----------



## popsi

Anj... .I agree we had the BAAF books for families etc.. but they all seem to have prefered this, my best friend cried all the way through as she never realised how hard it was going through all the tx etc and she was preganant at the time .. so even harder... its lovely written and real xx

Huge amounts of luck with your prep course, we were nervous on ours but did enjoy it and made some friend we still see often, which is fab ! .. look forward to hearing about it all xxx


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies - i bought 'what to expect....' book today so i'll get stuck into that soon   thanks for all the advice, i'll proberbly get 'An Adoption Story' next   

Anj - good luck for the course on Monday, i want to know all the details  

Popsi - OMG you must be super excited   cant wait to hear your good news


----------



## vickym1984

Just wanted to post and say hi.

I have been lurking mainly for the last few months.

We aren't starting the adoption process yet but felt rude just lurking lol.

We have found out IVF/ICSI is our only biological chance at having children. We are lucky in the NHS (currently) will fund up to 3 tries. I wasn't all that bothered to be honest, and would be happy to just adopt, but my husband wants to try IVF first. He has said however, if we do the first round and it fails, he doesn't mind moving to adoption then if I want to do that rather than stay on doing more rounds of IVF. Not sure myself whether I will want to or not, but is nice to know.

Did ring our county coucils adoption team the other day to ask them if they had a minimum time after failed treatment to start the adoption process, but apparently not, they sometimes reccomend 6 months if after meeting you they don't think you are fully ready to start adoption, but they will meet with you first and let you attend an open evening to see how you feel about it all.

They offered to send out an information pack ready so that we can look through it anyway. Got it through, and I have had a look through, my husband has not yet.

I won't be posting on here loads, as not much to tell you all at the moment, but I will still look and reply where I can etc 

It's odd, I can't imagine being pregnant or holding a newborn, but I can imagine adopting. We think we would want to adopt a sibling group under 4/5 if we could, if we go down that route. We have 4 nephews, and our Godson, all various ages so we have got some experience


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Vicky and welcome   IKWYM about 'seeing' yourself doing adoption   good luck which ever journey you decide to take


----------



## Belliboo

Popsi good luck for matching panel tomorrow,bet your so excited hope you manage to get some sleep tonight

Anjelissa good luck with your prep groups, I cant wait to start mine!!

minmouse enjoy your info day on tuesday

cotsworlds girl just wanted to send you some more well wishes for the next few weeks  

hope everyone has had a lovely weekend

no news from me just wish I had a time machine to jump me to april!! & then to the day when our little one/s come home to us !!!

xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## herbaltea

Hello everyone - can I join you all?   I'm just starting the adoption route as a single adopter!


----------



## kirmut

Thanks for the welcome everyone. It's nice to have a new home after being in limbo since using the IVF boards during our final treatment last March. Trying to get stuck in to our tasks from the 1st HS meeting and looking forward to the next one on Friday. Will definitely get the An Adoption Story book as I think my family and friends could do with some greater insight in to the process and the emotions that go with it.

Looking forward to sharing your journeys.


----------



## Camly

hiya

just wanted to say hello to all the new 'virgins'. welcome   

cotswold girl - just wanted to let you know that i am thinking about you.  

hi to everyone else. i do keep up to date by reading about your journeys. its all worth it!  x x x  xx  x


----------



## minmouse

HI All,

Welcome to herbaltea - youve joined the right place - so much info here!  
Good luck to Popsi for panel tomorrow,  and for Anj & Cars starting prep course this week 

We have Info Day on Tues & then taking ourselves off for a trip to Bruges straight after, so I wont get much news from everyone til we are back on Friday,but looking forward to some waffles & frites!

Im off to order the 'Adoption Story' book recommended here as it looks like a good read  
M
x


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Just popping in to say a big thank you for all your good wishes. You lovely ladies know more than most what a blow this feels like to have got so close to finally realising our dream. Most people we know just think it's the big C we've got to deal with but dashed dreams are just as bad  

Like you say I just need to see this as a delay rather than an end of the dream - thank you!

Congratulations Popsi - so pleased for you. When do you meet your princess? Happy shopping for all things pink  

CG xxx


----------



## Moppit

Dearest CG
So good to hear from you. We are all with you every step of the way with your treatment and are very much looking forward to seeing you back on the boards as a regular as soon as you are back on the adoption track. As everyone has said this is just a delay and you will be back on your way to panel before you know it.
Take care of yourself
Mxxx


----------



## Moppit

Really excited as just heard that I am able to run the London Marathon for an adoption charity. I already had a place with another worthy charity but really wanted to run for adoption and had been unable to find a charity with places. The other one has very kindly allowed me to pull out so that I can run for something I really care about! Will make every step of teh 26.4 miles easier knowing I'm doing it for somethign really important and will help with my fundraising.

Hoping some of you might sponsor me so watch this space for my just for giving page.

The charity is called after adoption.

Mx


----------



## Pinky3

Moppit - let us know if you set up a just giving page


----------



## popsi

moppit i most certain will ! let us know how to xx well done you


----------



## vickym1984

Moppit-Glad you got the charity of your choice, and well done on going for the marathon xx

Popsi-Just wanted to say congrats on being matched

Well, um, I got in from weight watchers tonight and my husband said he also may want to go straight to adoption rather than do IVF. Not sure if this is a miracle, as my husband didn't want to before. I am a Christian and really felt God pull me to adoption so said to him (God) that if it was his will that he would pull my husband in the same direction.  We have now decided to have our initial consulat at IVF hammersmith on 3rd Feb as planned and then decide xx


----------



## Cars

Hey everyone  

CG - Glad you are staying positive- you will will will get the dream   

Well quick one from me- Been a horrendous week! had taken this week off to study as i do a degree in glasgow at nightime(nightmare) so have exam tommorow and wanted to study all week, unfortunately my dh's papa died suddenly sunday(RIP), huge shock to family as thought he would live forever!(he was 88 but in brill health) so thats been devasting and been hard to study, but good thing is we decided to go ahead with prep course which was last night at St Andrews which was great. Started off with everyone had to say how they got their name, which was funny, then asked questions like why are children taken from their homes and adopted, what kind of feelings will they have as a result and what can we provide for them as adopters, which was all pretty easy. Then we had FC who told us about one of their foster childrens, background to story, behaviour and going on to their forever family which was really interesting, have totally found a new level of respect for FC, they do such an amazing job! So that was it really, went well, looking forward to next one on wednesday! 

Back to the books for me i'm afraid and plenty of red bull on the way!

Hope everyone is doing well xx

Cars


----------



## minmouse

Hi All,

Cars - sorry to hear about dh dad, well done for keeping on track with study & adoption.  Im sure thats what he would have wished for you   Glad you enjoyed your prep group.

Moppitt - look forward to seeing a link so we can sponsor you for marathon - go girl!

Popsi - not long now! Look forward to hearng about intros

Vickym - glad dh is keen on adoption now   I held off for a long time whilst dh was going through some stuff which meant he wasnt 100% commited - now he is, its bought us closer together as its something we both really want.

CG - good to see you posting - and absolutely - its a delay, not a dashed dream.  We are all looking forward to seeing you back fit & well and progressing with the dream

Rachel - it will be April before you know it!  I cant believe its nearly end of Jan already!

Anj - how has prep gone this week?

Update from me - Orientation Day on Tuesday  - we both LOVED it    2 Adoptive parents ran most of the session and they were both truly inspirational, amazing people.  They made it really clear how tough the process is, how hard the post adoption period can be, but overwhelmingly how rewarding the whole experience is.  Didnt put me off at all, in fact made us both even more sure this is what we want to do.  Now just concerned that its a massive application group, and they kept reiterating that they will only progress the strongest candidates, so we now need to find some quiet time to make sure our formal application is as appealing as possible! Fingers crossed.

M
x


----------



## kirmut

Hi there, well we had our 2nd sw visit for hs on Friday and was quite exhausted by the end of it. We covered education and employment history in this session. One thing that is worrying me a little and I'd be grateful for some advice is this.. My mum has suffered from depression for most of her life after a very bad childhood with many issues. She doesn't like talking about her depression to strangers so would feel vey uncomfortable discussing this with a sw. I'm just a bit worried about what they tend to ask your parents and whether mum's mental health issues would be a problem for us.
Any advice would be great. Thanks.


----------



## ButterCup09

Hi can I join you?

Myself and DH are just starting out on our adoption journey.  It's taken us a long time to get this far with numerous failed fertility treatments along the way.  We are blessed to have a DS already and would dearly love to give him a sibling.  I have really struggled emotionally with not being able to to this.  If I am honest the thought of adoption does scare me a little bit, but I am hoping our instincts guide us and if we are a suitable family for a child then it will happen for us.

I look forward to getting to know you all along the way.

Buttercup x


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

A very quick 'hello' from me as I have just spent hours filling in a bit of our Prep Course work book and have a frazzled brain atm!  
We have day 3 & 4 tomorrow and Tues, so will be back with a full report and personnals when I get a minute.
So far so good though.

Catch you all soon,

Luv Anj x


----------



## minmouse

Welcome to the thread buttercup  
M
x


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Hello everyone, sorry I haven't been around for a while. We've been on holiday and just got back on sunday.  Feel like I'm finally getting over the Jet lag and getting used to the cold again. Back to work this pm to show off my tan but I swear some of it seems to come off on the plane journey home!!!!

Trying to catch up with reading everyone posts, but what has really stuck out for me is Cotswold Girls awful news. Sending heaps of love and well wishes to you.       Feel so devestated for you but as you say, it is just a horrible delay to your dream not the end of it. Remember we are all hear to sound off to when times are tough. Thinking of you xx

Not much going on our end with things. Sent off our official application forms at the begining of december after our initail home visit, but haven't heard anything since. I know there was a course in January which we have obviously missed, although we were on hols anyway, but hopefully we should be on the next one which is in May. I tried to phone them earlier but had to leave a message so I will see if there is any further news  later in the week.

Love and well wishes to all us Adoption Virgins, So many of us now it is hard to keep up with everyone. My new year resolution is to post more!! 

Bye for now. Mrs Dibbles


----------



## Moppit

Hello Lovely Ladies

Just a quick one from me. As I mentioned in one of my previous posts I'm going to be running the London marathon in April for an adoption related charity; PAC - The Post Adoption Centre. Its a small charity supporting everyone touched by adoption from children to adoptive families to birth families and I'm their sole runner so hoping to raise lots of money for them. Very proud to be running for something that means so much to mean and hoping that trudging the streets training over teh next few months will help while away the time while we wait for our much longed for little one.

A few of you have asked me to pass on my Just for Giving Link so you can sponsor me. Obviously no obligation but here it is incase you are interested. Any support however small VERY gratefully received.

Moppit x


----------



## Belliboo

Just popping on to say hi

buttercup welcome to the thread

Anjelissa how are the prep groups going

moppit I'm impressed your running the london marathon good luck 

Mrsdibbles hope you had a lovely holiday

Popsi have you started your introductions yet??

minmouse glad your enjoyed your orientation day 

mavis hows the home study going 

hi to everyone else too. hope your all ok xxx


----------



## BRIGGY43

Hi Moppitt,

I don't know if you remember me.  I cycled with you in Sept '08 on the IM thread? 

I only did the 1 cycle with IM - it was another negative (our 7th).  I then had a major op in March '09 as i have serve endo.  They tried to take ovaries.  They manged to take the right ovary after 3 and half hours in surgery but I still have my left one.  The operation wasn't a success so we have now decided after 6 operations and 7 ivf cycles that we are going to adopt.  We submitted our application on 2 October, did our prep course in November then started our homestudy.  So we now have 1 session  left for the homestudy and Social worker will start visiting references mid February.  Its all happending very fast but after 10 years I can see a little light at the end of the tunnel.

I have been watching your progress with delight.  Good luck for next week everything is crossed for you.

Good luck to everyone else.

Briggy


----------



## Moppit

Briggy

So good to hear from you! I have PM'd you.

Mx


----------



## BRIGGY43

Hi Moppit,

I have pm'd you to  

Briggy


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

I just popped on to post the updated list as it's changed a bit since I've added the people who have pm'd me.

We have now finished the Prep Course, it was really good, but exhausting and we have quite a lot of work to do that they have advised us will help with our competences when we start our Home Study. We met some really nice people (there were 14 people in total on our course), and I hope we will keep in touch with some of them.
We are currently waiting to be assigned a Social Worker so we can start the Home Study, we should know towards the end of this week when this will be.

I'll hopefully get some time to do some personals soon, but in the mean time, hi   and catch you all soon.

Luv Anj x  

Ps...I hope all the info days went well for those who just had them x


----------



## Anjelissa

*.....Adoption Virgins 2010.....*​ ​
*Initial Enquiries *

Tamelia.......... Waiting to start due to minimum gap required since last tx
Nicola1........... '' '' '' ''
Louise03........ '' '' '' '' 
Allyo............... Delayed by current LA/investigating alternative agencies
ClaireP .......... Making initial enquiries 
jessabella &#8230;.&#8230;Making initial enquiries

*Information Days & Initial Home Visits *

Minmouse...... Info Day on 19th Jan 2010
Maccer...&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;Info Day on 9th March 2010
Mrs Dibbles.....Initial Home Visit Nov 2009
Lady Pink&#8230;..&#8230;.Initial home visit 3rd Feb 2010

*Prep Courses *

Sonia7&#8230;&#8230;.....Feb 2010
Cars..............Feb 2010
Pinky&#8230;..&#8230;.&#8230;..March 2010
Rachel 78&#8230;...14th/15th & 19th/20th April 2010
kirmut&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;..April 2010

*Home Study & Awaiting Panel *

Anjelissa&#8230;..&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;Just about to start HS (awaiting allocation of SW)
Moppit&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..&#8230;......Panel Date Feb 2010
Cotsworld Girl&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;Panel Date on hold for a short while  
Lil-J&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.....&#8230;.Currently on HS
Shoe Queen&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;Started HS Oct 2009
Mavis&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;......Started HS Jan 2009
Chocolate Button.&#8230;Currently on HS

*Approved & Waiting  *

None at present

*Matched & Introductions  *

alanelaine&#8230;.....Matched with 30month old little girl 5th Nov 2009
Popsi&#8230;&#8230;..........Matched with little girl 30th Nov 2009 (intros started end Jan 2010)

*Little Ones finally at home  *

Suzie&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.....Foster Carer & Forever Mummy to little boy aged 4 years (Oct 200
Wynnster&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;....Forever Mummy to 'Munchkin' aged 2 years
Calmy&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;..&#8230;.2 little daughters moved in 25th Nov 2009
Old Timer&#8230;&#8230;.......Little boy moved in June 2008
MissSunshine&#8230;...Forever Mummy to little girl 'Sunshine' aged 19mths, moved in 7th Dec 09

Please let me know (via pm, as I may not catch it in thread) if you'd like to be added, updated, deleted, or even just certain wording changed.

*Good Luck to all of us in 2010*​ 
​


----------



## minmouse

Hi All,

Thanks for update Anj & good to hear the prep course went well.

Ive come to ask some advice ladies please?  We are about to fill in the formal application, post info day & prior to prep course.  At the info day they reiterated that it was an abnormally big group, and they can only take so many through the process, and you are basically eliminated based on the app. form which we should treat like a CV.  Im so convinced that our journey will be stopped at this stage, that its putting me off submitting it, delaying the inevitable if you know what I mean  !

So my questions are; any advice on what they key things they are looking for on the form that will help me secure a place in the group? and has anyone been postponed to a later group due to the amount of applications the agency has?  

What I mean is, if I get rejected now, can I wait for a place on a later group or can I apply to an alternative VA for example?  Sorry for waffling. But I hope someone understands what Im wittering about & can offer some words of wisdom! 

Hope everyone had a great weekend, and good luck to Sonia & Moppit for exciting Febraury progress!
M
x


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

Hope you are all doing well.

Well talk about putting a spanner in the works so to speak. I received a letter from Birmingham Womens hospital stating I am nearing the top of the list for egg donation. I completely forgot I was on the list, I put my name down in 2006/2007. But we have had a chat about it and decided to continue with the Adoption process. Looking back I can't believe what I went through with the IUI and IVF Treatments the past five years and working full time and losing our babies.  

We have got the prep course on Thursday looking forward to it but also anxious about it too. Not knowing what to expect etc.

I have been sorting out the loft today still got loads to do but decided to do it another time. Just kept getting distracted with ********.  

Speak to you all soon

Sonia xx


----------



## jessabella

hi everyone...well I guess you can add us to the update list as new new beginnings. We have only sent enquaries to agencies and trying to figure out which is the best for us. Well DH and have been TTC for three years and started talking about adoptino about a year ago. We entertained the though for the first time about 3 years ago but only about 12 months ago did we start researching and thinking about it. We moved to the UK about 10 months ago and really started thinking about the future with a family. Last month we made the decision to look into agencies and last week started enquiring. We havent even heard much back and waiting this week to actually get in touch to get the process started. Our majour issue is the time frame..I know I know..everyone probably feels this way ..but I guess it is more overwhelming since we are just starting out. I just hope that we dont have to wait months just to go to an infomration session and then months again to start prep courses...that would drive me nuts.  However we got an email from an agency who asked us to look into their information session for multicultral adoption (we are a mixed raced couple) ..dont know if that would make things faster as the session is only in three weeks so I am looking forward to following up to with the course and see where we go next.  Anyway sorry for the waffleeeeeee!!

Its great to read all about your journey's and how you are getting on.


----------



## minmouse

Welcome to the thread jessabella  

The process does seem to take quite a time, but to already have a date for an info day is a great start!  Good luck, and keep us updated with your progress
M
x


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi everyone -  ,

Hope you are all ok! 



Well i just thought i would update and share my very early days journey with you all so far . . . . . .

I made the phone call to my LA on 15.01.10
Started my voluntary work at a nursery on friday too - 20.01.10 which was brilliant, working with the 0-12 months and the toddlers! I have a lot of experience with babies and toddlers but thought it would all help and look good too to the sw!
  
Had my information session yday - 30.01.10 which went very well, very positive! There were 2 married couples and a same sex couple who were all lovely! Nothing told that my hours and hours of internet research and 2 books i have read so far havn't taught me so i was pleased about that!! I actually ended up telling the others in the group all about the good sites to join ie Be my parent and Adoption Uk  

I have got my CRB checks booked for the 13.02.10 and also have to hand the form in saying what age and sex child i am looking for and how many etc!

So thats where i am at so far  

I do have one hurdle ahead though and thats my mom and dad! I havn't told them yet  

My mom had a stroke last yr (may) and they are both in their 70's also and mom very frail but getting better! I know they are gonna think i have lost my mind and wont understand to start with why on earth i am doing this, especially alone as i can have my own children and will do some day but have wanted to do this for the best part of 3 yrs now!

I am just hoping they see how much i want to do it and why and will support me cause thats all i ask! Just dont know how to start the conversation off  

Any ideas would be appreciated  

xxxx


----------



## jessabella

One question I was thinking of today. We are moving in April but dont want to have to wait to start things going till then, but the thing is we are moving to a completetly different town. Should we contact the LA in that town or where we are now? If we have to move before April I think we could work it out to move in March though...I just want to make sure we move before the HS. Any advice out there?


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

How far away are you moving Jessabella? The agency we are with is in the next county to where we live so it may not be an issue. I think it is probably best to give them a call and find out what you need to do. Good Luck


----------



## jessabella

Oh we are moving fairly far away..from London to Kent ...if that makes a difference.


----------



## minmouse

Evening!  Hope all the virgins had a good weekend,

Welcome kittykat,  you are progressing at a good rate  .  Im sure once you broach the subject with your parents they will be supportive.  Good luck with it, keep us posted. x

Sonia - good luck for prep course, everyone seems to have really enjoyed theirs so far so Im sure it will all be fine - let us know how it goes  .

Well ladies, no adoption news from me, Im still dithering over the formal Appl Form.  Im going to get a copy done tomorrow so I can fill it in 'rough' first & then do a neat one, and thanks for advice received ladies - much appreciated.  Cant do much for a few days though - Im off to have laser vision correction tomorrow and its lounging in a darkened room for a few day I believe?  Im hoping it gets me out of the housework this week at least?! 
M
x


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Jessabella, I have PM'ed you


----------



## Maccer

Hi All,

Don't know if I am in the right place, apologies if I should have put this elsewhere:  
My partner and I are looking into adoption at the moment, we have been together for a few years now and he has two children with his previous wife, he had a vasectomy nearly 10 years ago, we have looked into getting it reversed but we decided that we would rather like to adopt a child instead.  I have been doing my research and I see we have a long road ahead of us, but an exciting one.  I am very much like Jessabella in the way that I don't have much support around me as I am from South Africa, all my close family and friends are still there, my partner has his sisters and a few close friends but not a major support network, but like someone else has said, I am hoping to meet some new mums when the time comes.  We have an information evening on 9th March 2009 and I cannot wait to get started.  I hope to contribute to these boards if I can, but I know I will be asking a load of questions.  Look forward to chatting to you all.

M x


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi there Maccer,

Welcome! 

Like i said to Jessabella, there are lots of people you can name in your support group, not only people who can rush to you if you are in need of a babysitter but also people like your GP, local Primary Care unit at the hospital as these are who you would call out of hours for medical queries and help, maybe you could join a local adoption support group where you will get endless help and support and this is additional to neighbours and friends you have and your partners family. 

I also have started voluntay work at a nursery cause i know how good this will look to the sw's and also its valuable experience and i have already made some good friends who i know will all be happy to referee for me and that i can add to my support group. 

Also joining Be My Parent and Adoption Uk are great sites to join for support before, during and after the process and on going and are great to mention that you have joined too. 

Hope this helps and anything else just ask  

xxx


----------



## wynnster

Hi Maccer

Welcome to the thread    You are in the right place.

Your support in south africa can still be included hun    One of my referee's was in the middle of moving to Australia but has been my lifelong friend so I really wanted to include her and our SW said even if she was in Australia she could still be a referee but they obviously wouldn't visit her in person    She was also included in our support network as telephone/email communication can be just as supportive  

Enjoy your info session 

Best of luck x


----------



## Maccer

Thanks Kittykat1234 and wynnster for the warm welcome and all the information, I can see that this forum is going to be invaluable when it comes to getting the information we need as well as the support.  

That is great news that we can add people from South Africa as referee's, I have been concerned about the support group part, but both of you have helped ease my mind on that topic.  Kittykat your suggestion of a local adoption support group is such a great idea, I will be looking into that.  I would have loved to have been able to volunteer at a local nursery or school, but unfortunately at the moment I can't get away from work.  I do have experience with older children as my partners two are teenagers, which I suppose helps, they will also be part of our support network.  I have joined the Be My Parent website, I have also asked for so many information packs that they are coming out my ears, but I really want to be prepared for anything.  

Thanks again for all your help and comments.
M XX


----------



## minmouse

Welcome Maccer,

You certainly are in the right place, and some great advice to be got here.  Id loved the info session, very inspiring talking to parents who have adopted.  Look forward to chatting on the boards as we go through the journey.

M
x


----------



## kittykat1234

No problem at all Maccer, glad what i have said has helped  

Good luck with everything and just remember, people in your support group don't just have to be people who can turn up at your door when needed, they can be anyone who you know you will be able to turn to or call or message online etc etc when you need too  

 kk xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Just a few personals as don't have much time x

Firstly, hi to all the recent newcomers to the thread , I think, looking back, there are quite a few since I last wrote some personals.
Please pm me if you would like adding to the list (I post it every few pages, with new additions/changes) I may not see requests in the thread, so please pm me if you'd like to be added (including what stage you're at) 

Maccer... Welcome and lots of luck for your Info Day on 9th March. Don't worry about asking lots of questions, that's what's so great on this thread, we are all at different stages so can pick each others brains 

minmouse...I don't think you'll see this for a while due to your laser vision yesterday, I hope it went well and wasn't too painful. You are very brave! I have spoken to a few of my colleagues who have had it done and they rave about it! I'm not that brave though. 
Did you send your formal application off yet? I'm probably too late to answer your question about that, but I think it really depends on the types of children that they are currently wanting to find homes for atm in your LA. That was what we were told by the Social Worker that did our Initial Home Visit anyway, I would imagine it's the same in your area, so there's unfortunately no way of knowing what to put on the application form that will help. I would say, just to be as thorough as possible. I'm crossing my fingers for you that you get moved forwards to the next stage asap. x

Jessabella....Welcome  I have added you to the list as requested.

Sonia...Lots of luck with your Prep Course tomorrow. We really enjoyed ours, although it was a bit exhausting! Make sure you get some early nights inbetween 

Cars...I totally agree with you re/renewed respect for FC's! We had an additional SW at our Prep Course for 2 of the 4 days, who was also a FC, and WOW, what a special lady she is! 
Just a quick question for you btw, as I think I have you on the list incorrectly, have you just had your info day, or prep course?

Thanks for everyone who has asked how our Prep Course went, it was really good, but quite exhausting! We met some lovely people, and hope to keep in touch with many of them.
We are currently waiting to hear which of the Social Workers we will be allocated for HS (we're hoping for one in particular, so fingers crossed!)  and are atm working through lots of 'homework', that we have been advised will help with certain parts of the HS.
I'm about to write to our local nursery in the next few days to enquire about volunteering, so am really hoping to be able to start that soon too.
Is it just me? or does this process sometimes feel like you have an additional full time job alongside the one you have already!   I know it will be soooo worth it though, so don't mind at all 

Must dash, this was only supposed to be a 'quickie!' 

Luv Anj x


----------



## Cars

Welcome Newbies   

Anjelissa, We are half way through our prep course, its going great, learning loads and met with adopter last night who was amazing! Cant wait to get started with home study, we also have a few social workers in mind that we would love to b allocated so know how you feel, think its going to be so important to be able to click with them! Hope you get the one you want    

Love to everyone x


----------



## minmouse

Hi All,

Glad you enjoyin prep Cars - really hopin to be in your position soon!

Just a quick hello - not sposed to be on pc too long  , laser vision thingy went well - I can SEE! Have to wear shades in bright light for a little while  but hope things will settle soon so I can catch up with all your news everyone.

M
x


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all 

Cars...I'm glad your Prep Course is going well, I've changed you on the list, as I had you under 'Info Day' for some reason 
It's nice that we're at the same stage as each other 
We were told it would be a couple of weeks before we get a letter allocting our Social Worker, but due to lack of resourses atm, we were warned that we may get a letter to say we'll have to wait a few months. They have assured us though, that if this happens, they still try to complete the assessment within the govournment recommended 8 months from accepting your official application. It will just mean that the HS will be more concentrated into a shorter period, with possibly double sessions etc. 
It's been 2 weeks now, but we are going to wait another week before we email them to check.
Lots of luck that you get one of the Social Workers you are hoping for too 

minmouse...I'm glad your laser eye surgery went well, you brave thing! As I said above, I have a few colleagues who have had it done and they rave about it! I hope you are all back to normal real soon.

Catch you all soon,

Luv Anj x


----------



## mmmbop

[fly][/fly]
HELLO
Can i join you?
Have started a diary with info so far,
looking forward to getting to know you,

Love BOPs
xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi mmmbop and welcome  

I've just read the start of your diary, I hope you get moved on to the next stage soon. 

Lots of luck,

Luv Anj x


----------



## Maccer

Thanks again all for the warm welcome,

MMMBop welcome, everyone has made me feel extremely welcome so know you are in good hands here.  

M x


----------



## popsi

hiya.. just wanted to call in to tell all the virgins that no matter how hard or frustrating the adoption process can be .. stick with it as the outcome is the hugest reward you can ever get in the world.. we are in the middle of intros with our 11 month old princess at the moment.. and its exhausting and emotionally draining but i can honestly say i dont think i have ever been happier.. my DH just described it as like our wedding day lasting for 5 days so far !! amazing xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Awww Popsi!   

I just called my DH in to read your post and he got all teary!

I'm so pleased for you both  

Do you know roughly when she'll move in yet?

Luv Anj x 

PS...I just took your bubbles back to '77'


----------



## Maccer

Aww Popsi,

I am just starting out and I have been reading so much literature about adoption, the whole process seems daunting but your post just reassures me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Enjoy your new little bundle of joy, I am sure she will bring you both so much happiness, Congratulations.  

Mx


----------



## popsi

ang and maccer.... believe me every word i am saying is true.. you just wait this time next year it will be you posting this on here and you will all have become mummies and daddies i am sure xxx

ang... she will move in forever on Wednesday at 10am ! xxx


----------



## minmouse

Hey Mmmbop - I recognise that flower!  I was a Darling Buddie many many moons ago!  

Thanks for lovely post Popsi - so glad its going well with intros - keep us updated

Cars & Anj - hope you get allocated the s/ws you want soon  

Alls well with the eyes, shades were off today & vision nearly normal!

Photocopied that application form & will be filling it in over weekend - I may be back to plague you all with questions  

M
x


----------



## MissSunshine

Hey ladies,

Just wanted to pop in and say huge congrats to Popsi!! Wait until you put your little angel to bed on Wednesday night.....you won't want to leave  her. I'm still like that with Sunshine....last night was my 1st night out in ages and the 1st night I hadn't been around to put her to bed......it was so hard. It's amazing the amount of love that is bursting out of you.   I agree with the intros being exhausting, but as you say the most wonderful and rewarding time ever!! 

Moppit just wanted to wish you lots of luck for panel this week..(not that you'll need it) You're going to be great!! 

Love to you all and good luck with all your journeys,

Rhonda.XxX


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Popsi, I'm so excited for you. It sounds amazing. Huge congratulations to you both.


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

Just filling my forms in this weekend, so wish i'd photocopied it   

Popsi - your story make me feel all warm inside


----------



## Cars

Popsi- I am absolutely thrilled for you     

What was it like when you saw her for the first time??


----------



## popsi

cars.. it was undescribable !! you just wait you will know exactly what i mean very soon xx


----------



## Pinky3

I found the form on line - so now i can type it up nice and neat   

Cars - how many people are on your course?

Minimouse - when is your course?


----------



## Cars

Pinky- Theres 6 couples and two single women- really nice group  

Popsi- I think i'd burst out crying! its the last thing i think about at night, meeting them for the first time...............

Cars xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Evening all,

Just a quick one to say......

We received the letter today saying that we have been assigned a Social Worker for our HS! 
She isn't someone we have met, or have even heard of, but I'm sure she'll be lovely.
It says she'll be contacting us very soon to arrange our first visit. 

Cars....that's really spooky, there were 6 couples and 2 single women on our prep course too! (one of the couples being 2 men, who were lovely and we hope to stay in touch with, they'll be the best Daddys ever)

Popsi....it's so lovely to follow your story, and I can't wait for Weds either now! to hear how it all goes! (or rather a few days later when you get a minute to pop in here)  It's so exciting 

Catch you all soon,

Luv Anj x


----------



## popsi

thanks for all your good wishes, i just remember being where you ladies are now and hearing happy endings kept me going but i never thought we would get here... now all the pain and heartache feels like it was another person not us  !

I did not actually cry when we seen her, but did cry when we got back in the car to leave her, and at the moment its so hard leaving her to come home .. but i know its all for the best xx


----------



## Maccer

Anjelissa said:


> Evening all,
> 
> Just a quick one to say......
> 
> We received the letter today saying that we have been assigned a Social Worker for our HS!
> She isn't someone we have met, or have even heard of, but I'm sure she'll be lovely.
> It says she'll be contacting us very soon to arrange our first visit.


Congratulations Anjelissa, hope she gets in contact with you really soon.

Mx


----------



## minmouse

Anj - congrats on getting your SW allocated!  

Pinky - good luck with the forms, Ive scribbled all over my photocopy so Ill have to hunt it down on line too.    I dont know when our prep courses are - I didnt think to ask as I guess if you are accepted then they tell you the next steps?  No harm in asking tho I might call next wk. We have a really big group that cant all be progressed so Im really fretting over this form  

Popsi - how exciting to be so close to bring princess home  

Ive been on the Wii fit this w/e in prep for the medicals - boy, I need to get fit!  

Virgins - hope you all had a good w/e  

M
x


----------



## Pinky3

Mini - dont fret   let me know if you want the link to the forms x x


----------



## Moppit

Dear Lovely Adoption Virgins

Returned from a week's skiing last night and lots of posts to catch up on! On count down now to panel tomorrow and feeling sick with nerves. It was good to be away last week as it helped to distract us but now we are back it feels all too close and I've gone from feeling very positive to being totally fatalistic and wondering what an earth we will do if we fail. I can't believe that its tomorrow and utterly terrified!

Anj - Great news about the SW allocation. This is a really big step and you are now on the way!

Popsi - So, so excited for you! I cannot wait to get more updates when you get her home and I absolutely love your husband's description of it being like your wedding day for 5 days. You so deserve this, enjoy every single second.

Rhonda - So good to hear from you and to get an update on how things are going. 

Cars - Glad your Prep group went well and great that you made some good friends on the course.

Minmouse - how did your form filling go? Bet you did an amazing job!


Love to all!

Mx


----------



## Maccer

Hi Moppit,

I am new here, but I just wanted to wish you luck for tomorrow, I will be thinking of you.  


Mx


----------



## Pinky3

Moppit           for tomorrow x x


----------



## Cars

Hi Moppit,

The very best of luck tommorow, will have my fingers crossed for you xx


----------



## herbaltea

Hi everyone  

Moppet - the very best for tomorrow, I'm sure everything will be fine and tomorrow evening you will be celebrating!  

Popsi - it must be totally fantastic to see your little princess

Its so lovely reading everyones news.....as I'm right at the beginning of the process and so so hope one day I'll be posting post like yours!!


----------



## Camly

best of luck tomorrow moppit. not that u will need it tho    

lots of love camly x x x x x 


(hi to all other 'virgins' - hope ur all well). x x x


----------



## minmouse

Hey Moppit, very best of luck for tomorrow, fingers & toes and everything crossed.   Let us know as soon as you can. We will all be thinking of you.
M
x


----------



## wynnster

All the best for tomorrow Moppit    

xxxxx


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

MOPPIT - Good Luck for tommorrow, I am sure you will be fine.           

I started my prep course last thursday, a lot of information to take in and lots of homework to do. They gave us the Adopters workbook   to work through for the course and relates to the home study.   Discussed those core competencies which sounds very daunting but I am taking a step at a time and also discussed permanence. The next course is on Thursday and we are doing attachment.

Will let you know how we get on. Is there anyone else on the same prep course in Worcester ??

Hello to everyone

Sonia xx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Good luck for tommorrow moppitt.


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Just wanted to say...

Moppit....lots and lots and lots of luck for tomorrow  and hope you have a lovely celebration dinner out planned for tomorrow! 

Sonia.....Good luck for the rest of your prep course  If it's a similar workbook to the one we have, it's a killer. Ours is called a 'Prep course training record' and it's to be filled in before our first HS visit, but it's taken AGES!! Hope the rest of your course goes well x

Thanks to everyone who has congratulated me on being allocated a SW for HS to start, you are all very lovely 

Luv Anj x

PS...I've been on a double shift today (6am-9.00pm) so pls excuse the quick post x


----------



## sonia7

Hi

*ANGIE* - Congrats on allocation of the social worker (I must have missed that post ) Our Workbook is called Preparing to adopt, A training pack for preparation groups by BAAF.

Hope everyone is well, my DH is in Germany at the moment for a 2 day course for his work, so tonight I have been organising my adoption folder in preparation for this homestudy and putting various bits of work I have done already, don't know whether its relevant or not, we will find out at the home study. I have been putting dividers in the folder etc aswell as listening to Rock Music - Love it. 

Speak to you all soon

Sonia xx


----------



## BRIGGY43

Hi Moppit,

Good luck for tomorrow.   

Briggy


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Just to say, I have posted a msg in the main adoption/fostering area regarding Statutory Adoption Pay (SAP) as my Company had the wrong/old info on their policy and I would have been set to lose over 3 months SAP!  

They haven't had ANYONE going through the adoption process before EVER, so the amount was still at pre-2007 figures!  I work for a big Company, so was very shocked!

Please read my post, and check, as most of us on this thread will have enough time to challenge it if it's incorrect and get it put right. After all it IS what we're entitled to! 

Catch you soon,

* * Thinking of you Moppit, can't wait to hear your news! * * 

Luv Anj x


----------



## popsi

Moppit.. thinking of you cant wait to read your post xx

love to you all .. sorry no personals.. mega busy with intros.. but WOO HOO she comes home forever tomorrow xx


----------



## panorama

Hi everyone

Popsi - I have been following your story, congrats on your little princess, sounds so exciting!  

Moppit - good luck today!

Just wanted to introduce myself and say hi. As you can see from our signature our ttc road was extremely rocky and distressing and last year we decided enough was enough, and go down the adoption route instead. We would ideally like to adopt as young a child as possible and found an LA who seems to be able to place younger kids and were accepted to apply. Only problem is the wait to start is 9-12 months   so we have been waiting patiently but could be as late as september before we start. The waiting is driving us both a little   but hopefully it will all be worth it!

I help out in a Rainbows group and my DH coaches cricket to young boys and we also have had experience of looking after our nieces and nephews so the SW we met seemed to be happy with this.

We can't wait to actually start the whole process! I am secretly hoping they will get back to us before September!!   

Good luck to everyone!!

Alli xx


----------



## Moppit

Dear Lovely Ladies

Just a quick one from me to say that we had our approval panel this morning and were unanimously approved by everyone. There were about 18 people on the panel but only about 10 actually voted. It was scary to see so many people behind the table but the chair woman put us at ease and the questions were relatively predictable and easy to answer. Within 20 minutes they had made a decision and were were out of the room and able to relax and celebrate this milestone.

Thanks for all the messages of support.... next stop matching!

Moppit x


----------



## Maccer

Congratulations Moppit   

I am sure you are both on , enjoy your celebrations.

Hello to all other virgins, hope you are all having a great week.

Mx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi Moppit,

Thats briliant - well done  

Its all very early days for me so would you mind telling me what questions they asked as i have no idea really, can only imagine  

Hope thats ok and if you wanna pm me thats fine  

Many thanks,

Katie xx


----------



## sweets x

Hi. Know i don't post much but do read.      Moppit- woo hoo. Really pleased for you. What kinda question's did they ask?  Am wishing time away now till may when we can start. Got time off booked in June for holiday so thats keeping my mind occupied a bit. Hi to everyone else. X


----------



## sweets x

Hi. We are currently waiting to start adoption. Had m/c in November so have to wait till may to get things moving. Anyone else starting around that time? Would be nice to chat. Have started reading a few books the la suggested.


----------



## Maccer

Hi Nicola,

We have our info meeting 4 weeks today (not that I am counting), so I don't think you will be too far behind us.  Sorry to hear about your m/c.

Mx


----------



## Moppit

Dear Kittty Kat

No problem at all. Infact my husband just said to me that he hoped I'd given a full account of what happened so that others can know what to expect. It may differ a bit from LA to LA but basically our experience was that we met with our social worker about 45 minutes before the scheduled panel time and had a bit of a chat about the process and what kind of questions might come up (we had already been through this with her at our last HS session but good to refresh). We then went to wait for our slot. We were told that the panel would be likely to be delayed as most of the time the slot times arent kept to but in our case we went in at exactly the time we were scheduled. The chairwoman came out before hand to introduce herself and to tell us not to be nervous and we were then led into a big room with a horse shoe shaped table with about 18 people sitting round it. The Chairwoman then asked everyone to introduce themselves including us. It transpired that quite alot of those watching were actually only observers and only about 8 of the people round the table would vote. Our social worker was there with us and some of the questions were directed at her - its a new process as from last week that the prospective adopters sit in on everything from the social worker questions to the deliberation/decision. The general questions we were asked were as follows:

1. What has been your experience of the adoption process so far including your feelings about Prep Group and the Home Study?
2. How do you think you will adjust to being at home with a child full time - what support do you have nearby?
3. How did you find the matching criteria section of the homestudy?
4. What books/reading have you found most useful?
5. How have your extended families reacted to the fact you are adopting?

They then asked some very specific questions around our situtation and its unique challenges. As some of you know on this board there are some difficult family dynamics between my brother and my parents and I knew this would come up. We were prepped well by the Social Worker on this and I did not feel that the way the questions were phrased were in anyway judgemental they were just interested to hear my perspective on the situation and my awareness of the potential impact on an adopted child. They also asked a slightly strange question about my husband's education which seemed more fact checking than anything else and one person asked whether we were intending to privately educate our children which I thought was a strange question. We just said that it wasnt something we had thought about in detail and would depend on the children and their needs but since we had a great primary school opposite our house we would almost definately be sending them there in the first instance. They seemed to be happy with this and the Chairwoman did seem to be slightly surprised that the question had been asked and was quick to point out that this would have no bearing on our ability to be adoptive parents. Apparently the person who asked it is an educational specialist so perhaps thats why. 

That was about it on the questioning and straight afterwards the chair asked each person for their decision. They went round the table in turn saying yes they would approve us and a couple of words about why which was all very positive. Once everyone had given their verdict they all said good luck and we left the room.

The whole thing took no more than 25 minutes.

I hope thats helpful any other questions just let me know. 

Its funny the feeling afterwards its a big relief but not the big euphoria I thought I might feel as I think it dawns on you very quickly that though this is a big and significant step its not the end of the road and there is still a long way to go before you bring a child home. The real celebration will come on that day rather than now. Having said that it seems like every person we know in the world has been waiting for our text/email to say we'd passed and they are all keen to celebrate so perhaps we will! Just concious that they might get weary of the whole thing if they celebrate every milestone with us!

Mx


----------



## sweets x

Hi m. You just want to get started don't you. You'll have to let me know how it goes. Will be asking you loads of questions lol x x


----------



## herbaltea

Hiya - I'm right at the beginning with my info meeting on the 19th Jan   Can't wait to get started as I've been wanting to do this for so long but had to wait as I moved house and started a business!

Ask any questions you like........as I'm only just a few months ahead of you


----------



## herbaltea

Hiya - many congratulations on today   You must be over the moon!!!!!! I would definately celebrate and I'm sure your friends and family will want to celebrate every milestone with you  

Also - thank you for sharing your 'panel' experience. I'm right at the beginning of the adoption process but its great to gain some insight into whats ahead!

WELL DONE!!!!!!!!


----------



## Cars

Moppit          

I am thrilled for you, I know what you mean about every milestone but on here we are with you all the way and promise not to get weary! Thank you for telling us what happened at it as it gives us a better idea of what to expect, so appreciate that   

Hope you have a fab evening, think you are so much closer to the dream  

Cars xx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Moppitt, yippee congratualations!!!!!       So pleased for you. It must be so exciting.

Alli, We are in a similar situation to you, as we made our initial enquires in Oct 09 but are unlikely to be on a prep course until May at the earliest, or possibly September ( We just missed selection for a course in January.) It is very frustrasting as, like you, we are ready to get going now. We have just decided as there is nothing we can do about it, and are using the time to get the house in order. Also we went on a holiday in Jan which was very relaxing! Fingers crossed we will both no more in the next few months.  

Popsi, you must be feeling really excited about tommorrow,   I'm sure you will be far to busy to post over the next few days, weeks, but we would all love to know how you and your little girl are getting on. 

Quick hello to everyone else. 

Mrs D xx


----------



## popsi

i have a diary on the wales thread which i try to update daily.. if you look at my past posts you will be able to follow the story if you fancy it xxx


----------



## Belliboo

Moppit      on being approved today sorry I never got chance to pop onto wish you luck,

Popsi good luck with bringing your princess home tomorrow, bet you will be too excited to sleep tonight, 

Hi to everyone else, no news from me just waiting for time to pass until prep groups in april

Welcome to the thread Alli

Hope everyone else is ok too xxx


----------



## Belliboo

Popsi would you mind posting a link to your diary I can' t find it & would love to read it xx


----------



## Pinky3

Moppit - Congratulations       and thanks for posting all that info


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi there Nicola,

I had my info meeting on 30.01.10 and got my CRB checks this saturday  

Good luck with it all and the best advice i can give is read as much as you can on here, i am just working my way from the top to the bottom and reading every thread as they are all relevant and also books books books! 

Some good ones which I heard about  on here are - Flying solo by julia wise, A childs journey through placement and adopting a child by Jennifer Lord!! This latter one in particular is very good!! 

Also joining Be My Parent and Adoption Uk is a good idea too as i have just booked to go on 2 courses with Adoption Uk on parental misuse of drugs and alcohol and attachment issues .

Ask away and everyone will try their best to help you   xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Ohhhhh Moppit thank you sooooooooooooooo much for sharing all that and in such great detail!

Well i know i wont get those exact questions but that has still made me feel a lot better about the panel stage as i really had no idea what to expect and also i know they go on the sw's report and can pick questions from that but on the whole that didn't sound too bad  

Again   and well done!!

Please keep us all posted on here for what happens next for you and thank you again xxx


----------



## sonia7

Moppit - Congrats  

When (being positive here) we get approved, to me it will feel like getting that BFP we have always dreamt of getting everytime we had IVF.  

Hope everyone is well

Speak Soon 

Sonia xx


----------



## mmmbop

[fly]LOVELY NEWS MOPPIT   [/fly]

   

Thankyou for the info aswell,xxx

Thankyou ladies for your warm welcome,
Bye for now,xxx


----------



## popsi

Rachel.. hope this works

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=165856.900


----------



## Maccer

I agree with Kittykat joining adoption websites and reading lots of literature is a great way to pass the time.

Yes I do just want to start now, I am not the most patient person around, so I know I need to learn to let things happen in their own time (within reason of course ). 
I have just started learning about all of the ins and outs of adoption, there is so much to take in but its all part of the exciting journey, so ask away and if I can help I will.

Take care

Mx


----------



## panorama

Hello everyone

Popsi - lovely day for you today, hope Princess is enjoying her new home, must be very overwhelming for you all  

Moppit -   Hope you don't have to wait too long now! 

Rachel - thanks for the welcome  

Mrs Dibbles - funnily enough we also went on holiday in january   Hope we both get the call sooner than september, would be great to start in the spring    Hopefully this year will fly by! Our LA start both HS and prep at the same time so at least it won't drag too long, that's what we're hoping anyway!

By the way I know some of you mentioned maternity/paternity leave. As I am self employed and will probably take some time out anyway we found out that DH can actually get 6 months full pay by taking on the adoption leave himself, which we think is fantastic! We would never have found out about it as he came across the policy when he was investigating maternity pay for one of his staff, so something to think about if one of you is not working or not returning to work.

Hello to everyone else, still getting to grips with everyone on the thread!  

Alli xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Just a couple of personals, then I'll post the updated list....

alli....A big Welcome 

Moppit....Huge Congratulations on being approved, and thank you for such a detailed report of your panel experience, it's really helpful to hear experiences from people who have been through it.
18 people WOW! 
BTW, my DH got all teary when I read something out to him from Popsi's post the other day, and now I'm teary reading yours!  
Maybe, as people consider that at this point in the assessment process I am pg now  (especially at work, lol ) it could be those hormones kicking in! 

Popsi...I'm thinking of you, and OMG, what a momentous day this must be for you all! I hope today goes really smoothly and you sit there tonight with DH, with little princess asleep, and a glass of champagne in your hand as you reflect and wonder that the precious little girl upstairs sleeping is your daughter! 

Hi to all the virgins, hope you're all well 

Luv Anj x


----------



## Anjelissa

*.....Adoption Virgins 2010.....*​ ​
*Initial Enquiries *

Tamelia.......... Waiting to start due to minimum gap required since last tx
Nicola1........... '' '' '' ''
Louise03........ '' '' '' '' 
Allyo............... Delayed by current LA/investigating alternative agencies
ClaireP .......... Making initial enquiries 
jessabella &#8230;.&#8230;Making initial enquiries

*Information Days & Initial Home Visits *

Minmouse...... Info Day on 19th Jan 2010
Maccer...&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;Info Day on 9th March 2010
Mrs Dibbles.....Initial Home Visit Nov 2009
Lady Pink&#8230;..&#8230;.Initial home visit 3rd Feb 2010 
alli&#8230;..&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;.&#8230;..Initial home visit Sept 2009
herbaltea.&#8230;&#8230;.Info eve 19th Feb 2010, Initial Home Visit 2nd March 2010

*Prep Courses *

Sonia7&#8230;&#8230;.....Feb 2010
Cars..............Feb 2010
Pinky&#8230;..&#8230;.&#8230;..March 2010
karen72&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;March 2010
Rachel 78&#8230;...14th/15th & 19th/20th April 2010
kirmut&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;..April 2010

*Home Study & Awaiting Panel *

Anjelissa&#8230;..&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;Just about to start HS (awaiting allocation of SW)
Cotsworld Girl&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;Panel Date on hold for a short while  
Lil-J&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.....&#8230;.Currently on HS
Shoe Queen&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;Started HS Oct 2009
Mavis&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;......Started HS Jan 2009
Chocolate Button.&#8230;Currently on HS

*Approved at Panel  *

Moppit&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..&#8230;......Approved at Panel 9th Feb 2010

Please let me know (via pm, as I may not catch it in thread) if you'd like to be added, updated, deleted, or even just certain wording changed.

*Good Luck to all of us in 2010*​ 
​


----------



## minmouse

Evening All,
a quickie as Im struggling with the eyes a bit  ?

Moppit -     on being approved - how fantastic and a very insightful passage about the actual event - it helps to take away some of the mysteries and lets hope all us virgins will be in a position to experience it one day.  Good luck with matching  

Popsi -   on bringing home your little girl today.  How amazing that must feel, Im off to have a peek at your diary now to hear more about it. Enjoy every second of it. 

Well I neednt have fretted about getting my initial questionnaire form back quick!  Just realised we are on holiday for the final day of the Mar prep group (off to New Zealand for 3 wks  ) - so couldnt hav gone on that one anyway.  Next one not till June .  BUT ,Im trying to look on this delay as a positive - we were told this intake was huge (poss due to November national adoption week), and would be reduced on the basis of questionnaire / home visit.  Im hoping the next intake will be smaller, giving us a better chance of moving on  Fingers crossed anyway!
M
x


----------



## Belliboo

Popsi hope you've had a fantastic day bringing your little princess home, thanks for the link to your diary, oh & by the way I love your changing bag


----------



## sweets x

hiya peeps

I have got a couple of books on the go. What to expect when your adopting which a lady from my LA recommended and my adoption story.
I have been on the adoption uk site but without sounding   find it a bit confusing.

just want to get started now.
Is quite scary waiting to start though, what if they don't like us or think were good enough


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all 

Popsi...I hope you're having a wonderful first day with the new addition to your family now home where she belongs  I can only imagine what that feels like right now, in addition to feeling amazing and wonderful, it must feel slightly 'surreal' atm. 
I'm so happy for you, and really looking forward to hearing all about little Princess.  

Everyone  Just a quick message, just in case you wonder why the bottom two sections of our 'Virgin List' is missing', I've been requested to limit the list to just 'Virgins' (ie/up to Approval at Panel).
The reason for this is that there is a list in the main area also, which covers post approval, so really the list in this thread should just be us Virgins. It'll be less confusing that way too.
I think it's much better, as it then also means we get to progress to 'big school',  like they do in the 'trimester threads'.
I just wanted to let you know, as just having updated Popsi, I didn't want to then 'delete' everyone without letting you know where they'd all gone.

Luv Anj x


----------



## Maccer

Hi,

I must admit when I first joined the Adoption UK website, I found it very confusing, with time you get used it.

I am sure they won't think you are not good enough, but from what I have been reading I think knowledge is power, you need to know what they are expecting and it sounds like you are doing all you can so keep your chin up, try and stay positive.   

Mx


----------



## Toni J

Hi Nicola,
We are not too far ahead of you.Weve done the 4 day prep course and now are waiting to be assigned a social worker to commence the home study.There is a shortage of social workers in our area so could be march /april before we start.Really want to get going now.The CRB reports have been done and we have ow got to arrange medical with our GP.

Keep in touch 

Love Toni xx


----------



## mmmbop

Nicola

We went to info meet last August, but have only just sent our initial forms in, as we had just moved,and I was working full time over Xmas.
We are waiting to hear whether they wish to proceed with us!
good luck,
may your dream come true,xxx

MMMbop,x

ps am reading The adoption Proccess by Ann Morris,which I am finding useful, and will work my way through the reccomended (sp)?list.


----------



## katie c

so sorry to read about your miscarriage  

if we do go ahead we may be similar in terms of starting times too as our last failed IVF was november too  

our LA makes us wait a year which is disappointing, i thought it was six months


----------



## sweets x

Hi katie, sorry about your bfn's. Thats sad having to wait a year. My LA used to be a year too but they changed it not so long ago.
What are you doing to fill the time. Were planning a little holiday.

mmmbop- hope you hear soon. What was the open evening like??

Toni- how was the prep course, are you weighed down with info?

Maccar- thanks hun   Its so hard to stay focused and positive.
The girl i work with is pregnant, through ivf and i find it quite hard at times even though i wish her all the happiness in the world. 
All seems so far off that me and dh will ever be a family. 
Started to read the adoption diary today, borrowed it from the library as these books can be so expensive can't they?

Kittykat- does it cost alot to join adoption uk?? Will be worth having another look 

herbal tea- hope your doing ok hun


----------



## kittykat1234

Hey nicola,
how you doing?
Yer it does cost quite a bit so I have just registered not subcribed yet As i do that nearer the approval time.
Registering will allow you to see training events available and post stuff on the message boards! You can't see cww  though where as on bmp if you only register you can see limited info on children who are available. Plus you can subcribe for a month for £12 something and that's for the magazine too. At my info meeting, the sw advised us to get a copy of the bmp mag to see the sorts of kids availAble! 
Hope this helps xxx


----------



## MrsKLC

Hi All  

Im new to the Adoption thread, Im at the very start of the adoption journey, Returned initial adoption application form Jan 10, had 1st home visit which went well, Have my Adoption medical on 26th Feb, Referees have recived the references to fill in, and prep course is end of March, Im feeling totally overwhelmed and emotional already and my journey has only just begun, would love to chat to others with experience and also people at the beginning of thier journey. Just feel like the adoption team are working so fast in my area, hope they continue to do so.

Good luck to you all out there and hope to get to know you all

Karen xx


----------



## sonia7

Hi Karen and welcome.  

Hello everyone else.

Hope you are all well

Got our medicals on 1st March 2010, a day after aston villa has gone to wembley, don't think my DH was impressed I chose that date  , think he wanted to have a drink or two. Well I am sure he will still  .

Also DH CRB form has got sent back to me, I decided to miss out a section when writing in it - whoops.    

Prep course is going well, got lots of homework and reading to do. DH is sat in the living room doing his homework and reading ready for our next session on Monday with the footie on in the background - I can multi task he says   Yeah right, just gone into the living room, there is DH watching the football match.     Luckily its finishing soon, Whoops I have been caught out by DH, yep writing on FF Adoption thread.  

Well, must go now and get on with our homework.

Speak to you all soon

Sonia xx


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Just popping in to say a big congratulations to Popsi and Moppitt. Well done both!

Popsi - you sound so happy. It must be lovely to have your daughter home. I'm sure she was worth the wait   Wishing you many many happy years ahead as a family.

Lots of love,

CG xx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi Karen

Welcome!

First of all here is a big     and just to say hope you are ok and that this site is the best thing i have found since starting my journey. The things i have learnt and found out is amazing as i feel i am 1 step ahead from being on here as each new milestone i am facing i am knowing what to expect!

I am also at the beginning, you can read my journey so far under adoption diaries.

It does definately sound like your area adoption team are working VERY fast!! Thats sooooooooooo good to hear and rare!! 

So far i have had no waiting either and although its very early days for me, i still know i have managed to move quicker so far than some and all the sw's i have spoken to have all been very nice, but like i keep saying, i am very early on!!

Good luck with it all and why don't you start an adoption diary under the adoption diaries thread, would love to keep up with how its all going for you

xxx


----------



## Chocolate Button

Popsi you must be so excited. xx

Hi to everyone. Sorry for my lack of posts in th epast dew months. We seem to have had a hectic time selling our house and with christmas etc. Anyway we are still in process of selling, but things are up and running so fingers crossed. 
We now have our date for the panel 24th February 2010. Just over a week away. I am so nervous and so excited. Any help and advice feel free to send my way!! 
I will keep in touch.
Love and hugs to all. xx


----------



## Maccer

Hi,

Karen - WELCOME, I am thrilled the process is going so well for you, long may it continue.  

Chocolate Button - Good Luck for the panel, I am sure you don't need it. 

sonia7  - Congrats on getting your medicals booked.

Hope all you other Virgins had a great weekend,

Love
Mx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi everyone,

Just popping in to say sorry for lack of personals, I'm on a 7 day stint at work, and don't seem to have any time to do anything!!  
I will update the list with the couple of requested updates in the next few days and be back with news and personals.

Just have time to quickly read here and Popsi's thread then dash.

Luv Anj x


----------



## zen

Hi, we have just started on our journey and thought I would say hello.  We are in NI so things are slightly different over here with regards to adoption but it will be nice to others to chat to.

So far we have met with the SW and have just been invited to a 3 day prep course in late March.  The timeline given to us, providing my medical is ok (had cancer 3 yrs ago with a recurrence last yr but all healthy again) and there is a SW available, would be to start Home Study in the summer time.  

After the three years we have survived we are just happy to be doing something positive and not waiting for results and appointments.  

Heres to a bring and promising 2010

C


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi there Zen,

Welcome to this VERY helpful site  

Sounds like your journey is moving along nicely, keep us all posted on how you are getting on and happy reading on here, i am addicted  

Good luck with it all xx


----------



## Belliboo

Hi everyone

Just popping onto say hi, hope your all ok

AFM I thought I was doing well too but we had a pregnancy announcement in work which made me feel a bit   , I don't begrudge anyone getting pregnant & I wouldn't want anyone to go through what we have to but it just makes me feel sad that it will never be me making that announcement, but I have to keep thinking we have prep groups coming up soon & keep praying that within the next few years we will have our own child too but just via a different route.

Sonia & cars hope your prep groups are going ok, I cant wait to start ours

Chocolate button fab news your have a panel date

Hope everyone else is ok xxxx


----------



## Moppit

Morning All

Rachel - Don't beat yourself up about being sad about a pregnancy announcement. A long term adopter once said to me that it does get easier as the years go by but there is always a part of you that will smart when these kind of announcements come out. Its not that adoption is second best in anyway but I don't think there is anyone on this board that wouldnt say that they would have loved to be pregnant and experience everything that, that means. Its totally normal and understandable to find pregnancy announcements hard, I know I do. The feelings pass but they are always there its like a cut that scabs over but every now and then the scab bleeds a little. I am convinced that when all of us on this board get our dreams of a child the sadness and emptyness will dissipate as we'll be Mummy's just the same as the friends we have that have been pregnant. In many ways its a more amazing miracle than pregnancy. We are able to give hope and life to a child that might not otherwise have one and that is an utterly amazing thing to do. Anyone (well just about anyone) can get pregnant but not everyone can get through the journey of adoption. Its something to be proud of. Focus on this when you hear the pregnancy announcements, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to be sad but know that one day you'll be a Mummy too.

Love to everyone else.

Mx


----------



## Maccer

Wow Moppit very well said, don't think there is a better way of putting it.  Made me  in a good way.  

Mx


----------



## Chocolate Button

Rachel... I am sure that every single one of us on here has had the same feelings as you at some point, but here is a little point to think about. I am only 6 days away from the panel and to me next week (if we pass) then I will bw making my announcment as loud as I possibly can. I never had the chance to say "I am pregnant", but very soon I will be expecting children. So for me it will be just as big an announcment and my family and friends will be responding in the same way. Just something for you to think about. I hope it gives you hope. Don't be hard on yourself. xxxx


----------



## Belliboo

aah ladies thanks for you kind words, Moppit & chocolate button, I love the new perspective you have given me to use on pregnancy anounncements, thanks so much!!!

Has anyone watched adoption stories series on h health its on daily at 1pm & 1.30pm, not sure what they are like but have set box to record them

Hope everyone else is ok xxx


----------



## mmmbop

Ladies,
got a call from sw on weds to arrange a home visit on Feb 23rd 9.30am,any advice of what to expect would be greatly appreciated.

Big hugs Rachel, 
Choc Button,good luck for panel,
Hi karen,good luck with your journey,
Love to all, 
M'Bop xx


----------



## mmmbop

Hi Nicola,
The meeting was informative, and they had several people who had adopted talking about their experience of the process,which I thought was really good.

Hi Zen,have you started a diary? wishing you lots of luck on your journey,x

love Bops xxx


----------



## Moppit

Evening Lovely Ladies

mmmbop - Very good news that your SW has arranged a home visit. This is the first big step on the adoption journey so you are very nearly on your way!! When we had our first home visit 2 social workers came round. They spent about an hour with us and asked us lots of questions around our motivations for adopting, what we thought we had to offer as a couple and what we thought our area had to offer, what we thought the unique challenges of adopting might be and some questions around the type of child we might be looking to adopt. After the interview they took a look round the house and garden. We heard a few days later that they were prepared to take us on. I think all home visits are slightly different but the important thing is to think through how you might answer the general questions around why you are adopting and what you have to offer. They may probe you a little on how you got to adopt as I know that most LAs and agencies are keen to work out if you really are 'over' your infertility and fully committed to adoption. I think they expect you still to be sad that you can't have your own children but ours needed us to demonstrate that we had gone through a grieving process and come out the other side. The home visit sounds daunting but I promise if they are taking the trouble to come and see you that they already feel very positive about you. Its about proving out what they already suspect from talking to you on the phone/your form if you submitted one already and I bet you'll do brilliantly! Incase you are worrying about whether to provide refreshments - I know I did a cup of tea and biscuits ususally goes down well. I also worried about the house looking perfect and cleaned endlessly but I honestly don't think they noticed!!!

CB - I absolutely love your comment on 'expecting' after passing panel. I feel the same and my boss actually said that when she heard the news. She told the rest of my team that we can now think of caroline as expecting which was lovely. I just hope it isnt the longest pregnancy in the entire world!!!

Love to everyone else.

Mx


----------



## wynnster

Hi mmmbop,

Our first home visit was just one sw asking us a few questions about what we knew about adoption, then she asked about our families and wrote down the ages of nieces and nephews, asked about our jobs, what our immediate family thought about adoption, what our plans were for the future and what type of child we were looking for.  She wrote lots down and 2 hours later she left without looking round the house i'd spent hours scrubbing     and she didn't have any of the biscuits we'd brought in specially either    

You'll be fine, just be open


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

wynnster, so funny exactly the same thing happened on our 1st home visit!!!   I'd even bought a new shower curtain in case she needed to go in the bathroom, but she didn't look around at all.    We had a good excuse to eat all the biscuits after she had gone though     Good luck mmmbop. must dash now or I'll be late for work xx


----------



## Pinky3

Wynster & Mrs D - same for us too, she sat on the sofa for an hour and a half, no tea, no biccies just lots of chat!!   and i had spent ALL day cleaning


----------



## mmmbop

[fly]    [/fly]

THANKYOU LADIES

for your replys,I woke up in the night last night,could not get back to sleep,what if they say no etc etc, my stomach is churning,and I've just spilt my tea 
I should be tidying up but don't know where to start  HELP !!!!!!


I have got the biscuits in,so thats a start,and Dh wants to have the smell of baking bread and coffee( I think he thinks we are selling the house)  sure she'll see through that straight away. 

love to all,

M'Bop,xxxxxx

[fly]    [/fly]


----------



## Maccer

Hello All,

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

mmmbop - Just wanted to say good luck for tomorrow      I will thinking of you, I am sure you will be fine, please let us know how you get on, will be very interesting to hear your feedback. 



Mx


----------



## panorama

Hi everyone  

Mmbop - hope it goes well tomorrow, I had bought biscuits and had nice coffee and cleaned the house top to bottom and all she wanted was a glass of water and didn't need to look around, so don't worry too much! Good luck!  

It's been nearly 6 months since our home visit and even though they said it could be as late as september before we can start I feel like sending an email to the social worker just to say hello and maybe ask if there is anything else we can do in the meantime, it's so hard waiting! Do you think it's a good idea?

Alli xx


----------



## kittykat1234

mmmbob - 

 for tomorrow and pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaase let us know how it goes and EVERYTHING thats asked as thats the next step for me once my CRB checks come back so i am dyeing to know what she asks you! I know they all very and have read off people on here the types of things but just really like to know so pleeeeese post on here after she has been!!

All the best, thinking about you - how exciting xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

mmmbop not mmmbob - sorry   xxx


----------



## Tarango

Hello Virgins, 

Just thought I'd pop on to say hello   and good luck   for your journeys all those who are starting out on the road that is Adoption..... 

Good luck for tomorrow mmmbop, don't worry about the home visit - we had our a few days before Christmas and we had to put up the tree - my cat used it as a climbing frame and we weren't going to bother but had to put it up quick! We then found out we only had enough decs for 1/2 the tree so had to sit Swer on the decorated side   
Swer did not want to look around or have any biscuits!! (shame - we had to eat them after she'd gone!)

Alli - I would email SWer to ask how things are going. I don't think a gentle 'nudge' will do any harm and they should come back with an answer for you. Finger's crossed they'll say it will be sooner rather than later   

Hello to everyone else, hope you are all managing to stay warm and cosy in this extended cold, cold winter xxxx

T
xx


----------



## Chocolate Button

mmmbop Goodluck Huni. Its an important step for you tomorrow. Thinking of you. Let us know how you get on. xxx


----------



## Belliboo

mmmbop good luck with your home visit today, my social did look around the house & was here for about 3 hours chatting, I also cleaned everywhere & bought nice biscuits & was so dissappointed when he didn't eat any!!!!

alli I would drop your social worker an email just to see where things are up to

just watching adoption stories on homes & health, & can't wait to start now, roll on april

hows everyone else, hope your all ok xxx


----------



## Moppit

Mmbop - Good luck for your home visit today. Hope all goes well!

Tried to record the adoption stories but we don't have Home and Health covered by our sky subscription which is annoying - are they good? If so might subscribe as there is so little on adoption on TV I'd love to see it.

Have a good day lovely ladies!

Mx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi Moppit,

Hope you are well. 

I have been watching the adoption stories on home and health for years and i LOVE them!! They always used to be on a lot on weekends but i never see them anymore and once you have seen them all they just keep putting the same ones on but i didn't care as love them all so much!! Usually they are of international adoptions too - american couples/singles adopting from Haiti, Guatamela,China and Vietnam. 

I am gonna start sky plussing them if they are on during the day now as like you say, there is very rarely anything on tv about adoption! I am always looking out for stuff!

Hope this helps anyway xxx


----------



## Belliboo

Kitty kat & moppit think they are on daily about 1pm & 1.30pm on discovery home & health!!1


----------



## panorama

Rachel and Tarango - thanks, I have emailed her, will let you know how it goes    

I don't get H&H either, only have BT vision but have seen some of these before. Shame there isnn't much more on adoption, it would raise more awareness really.

mmmbop - hope it's going well  

A xx


----------



## Cars

mmmbop- thinkig of you and looking forward to hearing how it goes x

Cars


----------



## kittykat1234

Ok Rachel, thank you xx


----------



## Chocolate Button

aaaaaargh
Panel tomorrow. I am sooooooo nervous now.


Any help and advice feel free to send it my way. xx


----------



## Moppit

Dearest CB

So excited for you that panel is tomorrow. What time? I will be thinking of you. Only advice I can give you is to be yourself. I know how terrifying it is but I promise you, your social worker wouldnt have put you forward for panel unless she believed you would pass and you will. I know its easy to say having come out the otherside but before you know it you'll have done it, got the rubber stamp you need and can look forward. Take loads of deep breaths before going in, smile at everyone on the panel and just be yourself. The answers will come naturally because they are about you and your DH not a subject that you need to revise or even worry about because you know it inside out. There will be nothing that your SW hasnt already asked you a million time so I promise, hand on heart that there is nothing to worry about.

Please post as soon as you know. I'll be keeping everything crossed and looking forward to congratulating you!

Moppit xx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

CB best of luck with your panel tommorrow.     What time is it? We can send you good vibes


----------



## panorama

Choc Button - best of luck tomorrow!!     Sure you will pass with flying colours  

Had an email back from SW and she said they have just done some SW allocations and that next one will be in June which she feels confident we will be put forward and then home visits start about 2 months after depending on their workload so I guess september is still going to be it  , given there will be summer hols for them etc. Oh well, at least we know for sure now, so just have to keep busy till then! Apparently more time is good for our 'grieving' but we really just want to get going! I'm sure the months will go quickly.....

mmmbop = hope it went well and you are munching on all the leftover biccies


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi everyone,

Sorry I haven't been here much over the past week, it's been manic for one reason or another.
I really want to catch up and do personals, but just haven't got the time atm 

Just want to say......

CB....Lots of luck for tomorrow   
Like others have said, you wont need it though, and come tomorrow eve, you'll be in that lovely place of the assessment being behind you and able to celebrate!! 

I'm just about to post our list again as there have been some additions.

Lots of luv to everyone,

Anj x


----------



## Anjelissa

*.....Adoption Virgins 2010.....*​ ​
*Initial Enquiries *

Tamelia.......... Waiting to start due to minimum gap required since last tx
Nicola1........... '' '' '' ''
Louise03........ '' '' '' '' 
Allyo............... Delayed by current LA/investigating alternative agencies
ClaireP .......... Making initial enquiries 
jessabella &#8230;.&#8230;Making initial enquiries

*Information Days & Initial Home Visits *

Minmouse...... Info Day on 19th Jan 2010
kittykat1234&#8230;Info Day 30th Jan 2010
Maccer...&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;Info Day on 9th March 2010
Mrs Dibbles.....Initial Home Visit Nov 2009
Lady Pink&#8230;..&#8230;.Initial home visit 3rd Feb 2010 
mmmbop&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.Initial Home Visit 23rd Feb 2010
alli&#8230;..&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;.&#8230;..Initial home visit Sept 2009
herbaltea.&#8230;&#8230;.Info eve 19th Feb 2010, Initial Home Visit 2nd March 2010

*Prep Courses *

Sonia7&#8230;&#8230;.....Feb 2010
Cars..............Feb 2010
Pinky&#8230;..&#8230;.&#8230;..March 2010
karen72&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;March 2010
Rachel 78&#8230;...14th/15th & 19th/20th April 2010
kirmut&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;..April 2010

*Home Study & Awaiting Panel *

Anjelissa&#8230;..&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;Starting HS March 2010
Cotsworld Girl&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;Panel Date on hold for a short while  
Lil-J&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.....&#8230;.Currently on HS
Shoe Queen&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;Started HS Oct 2009
Mavis&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;......Started HS Jan 2009

*Approved at Panel  *

Moppit&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..&#8230;........Approved at Panel 9th Feb 2010
Chocolate Button.&#8230;&#8230;Approved at Panel 24th Feb 2010

Please let me know (via pm, as I may not catch it in thread) if you'd like to be added, updated, deleted, or even just certain wording changed.

*Good Luck to all of us in 2010*​ 
​


----------



## jaynee

hi girls,

do you mind if i join you we started our home study today 

jx


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

CB Good luck for panel.

Hope everyone is well.

Well today another step forward to becoming a forever mummy and daddy. Our prep course today is now completed. We have to meet with them on the 5th March to discuss about whether or not we will continue (which we will) and also to receive some feedback on how we have done participating in the prep course. Then after that it is just waiting to be allocated a social worker to start our homestudy. We have our medicals on the 1st March 2010. AND they still want me to get a CRB Check from Moldova even though they have said they are unable to but the social worker said that they might have thought I was looking into adoption in moldova the way my email was written and the way their email was written in their reply. I got quite upset about this as I said to her what happens if I can't get a CRB Check, she said as long as they write that in their email         just got mixed emotions about it. Another obstacle to get over. I am just scared they will turn round and say you can't be a mummy as you haven't got this CRB Check from Moldova. Reading that statement back to me, it sounds stupid but that is my biggest fear.  

Anyway been watching lots of documentaries about childrens behaviour and writing reflections on the documentaries. 

Do you all have to complete core competencies ?

Anyway speak to you all soon

Sonia xx


----------



## kittykat1234

Chocolate Button  

Please let us know how it goes and   pleeeeaaaaaasssssse  

xxx


----------



## popsi

really just a quick one as dont have time at the moment !!!.. you ladies wait you will see soon      its fantastic though x

just want to wish CB a huge good luck for tomorrow.. but please believe me when I say there really is nothing to worry about with panel really they are there to approve you, they need you remember xxx

love to you all


----------



## kittykat1234

Welcome Jaynee,

Your at the best forum for everything you need to know so ask away when you need too and good luck with your journey  

Sonia7 - How did you find your prep course?? 
Try not to get upset about the CRB check situation - i am sure that won't hinder things at all but i know how you feel as the slightest thing i think may stop this and i get upset , but then i try and think about how much i have to offer a little one and how hard i am gonna try to prove this and then i am   again. 

Where have you found the documentaries on the childrens behaviours and did you get asked to write the reflections or are you just doing that to help your journey and what do you mean when you say 'core competencies' Hope you don't mind me asking and sorry about all the questions  

Chin up and keep us all posted xx


----------



## kittykat1234

Does anyone know how mmmbop has got on??   

I am dying to know and also hope that everything has gone well which i am sure it has!!  

xx


----------



## Chocolate Button

6.45pm tomorrow night! 
I really can't thank you all enough for the special messages of support and I will be taking in all your messages and vibes to the panel room tomorrow.
It may be later on, but I promise to post as soon as poss to let you know.
Thank you all again.

Excuse the me posts today. Im so nervous and excited. Promise personals asap.xx


----------



## Moppit

CB - Definately post after panel no matter how late it is we'll all be dying to hear your news!!!

Sonia7 - So glad Prep Groups went well. The Moldova thing is utterly ridiculous but I am 100% sure it will not stop you getting to the next stage. 

Jaynee - Welcome! Congratulations on starting your home study!

Mx


----------



## mmmbop

THINKING OF YOU CHOCCY BUTTON,XXXXXX
love, Bops,xx


----------



## mmmbop

Hello,everyone 

Thankyou so much for your lovely messages,
well shes been!
sorry I did not post sooner,but i stuffed a few biccies then took to my bed with a pounding head,after she left. 

She was very nice put us at ease, bought her own herbal tea bags,and did not eat a biscuit! was with us for approx 2 1/2 hrs,told early on that we would be given an indication by the end of meeting if we would be put forward.

we were asked about our childhoods
hobbies
work,
our son
our relations
support we would have
friends
any health probs
why we wish to adopt
touched on finances though not a direct question
the types of issues backgrounds children will have had/have
how many we were thinking of
the sorts of holidays we have,
facilities(toddler groups,doctors library etc)/schools near by
and prob a lot more that I will remember later!! 

then about 1/2 an hour before she left she said she could see no reason not to put us forward,and we should hear in about 2 weeks,as a report has to be written and obviously has to discuss with collegues.

so not sure whether to celebrate(this first step) yet or wait for confirmation   as it could go anyway!!!

oh she also asked about bedrooms as we only have two,tho we have plans for extension,basically implied we should get going on that.

and she had a good look around( a complete mess as we are doing it up)  
but that did not seem to phase her.

I have to go now, but will be back later to catch up on you all, 

M'bops,xxxxxxx
Love


----------



## sweets x

Hi. How is everyone? Zen. welcome hun. Wish you loads of luck. Whats everyone been Upto. Even though the year seems to be going fast. It ain't fast enough for me lol. Feeling fedup of waiting. Not been too well either and think i need more surgery as have cysts again so feeling very low. Know its not end of the world but feels like its so hard. Sorry for moaning. Take care x x


----------



## minmouse

Evening All  !

Not been on for a while so lots to catch up on!  

Choc Button  - thiking of you and hope to get an update later this evening 

MMmbop - congrats on visit - sounds like it went well and thanks for lettings us all know what to expect.  (We've also got an extension planned for the extra bedroom & in the middle of doing up rest so glad she didnt bat an eyelid  ). Im sure youll get good news.

Sonia - glad you enjoyed preps, cant believe they are still on about the moldova thing - get another email off, and fingers crossed they will let it go. 

Jaynee - welcome! good to have another virgin on board you are in a good place 

Anj - well done for keeping the list up to date - its SO helpful  

Hi to everyone else, and sorry if Ive missed any news Ive read back a few pages but no further yet.  I have sky + the adoption stories programmes so thanks for the tip  

Minmouse
x


----------



## kittykat1234

Ohhhh mmmbop that all sounds great and nothing there out the ordinary thankfully  

I  bet you are counting down the next few weeks!!  

You will be fine - like she said, she can't see any reason why you won't be put forward 

Really pleased for you and i would def be celebrating xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hey Nicola,

A HUGE        for you!!

Sorry to hear you are feeling low - it's a very long and draing process and one of which you could do without illness adding too!! 

Sorry to hear you think the cysts are back - hopefullly the surgery will sort that out if needed! 

Keep your chin up xxx


----------



## Belliboo

chocolate button sorry I never got chance to wish you luck for your big day today but I'm sure you didn't need it, looking forward to hearing your news

mmmbop sounds like today went well, at least you get to eat all the biscuits now too!!, sounds similar to our visit, think the next bit is just for formailty & if they didn;t think you were suitable they would have said today

hope all our other virgins are ok 



xxxxxxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Just a quickie x

I was reading back and laughing at how similar we all are/were for the initial home visit! 
We too spent hours spring cleaning and got some nice cakes/biscuits!
In the end, she was with us for 3 hours, had a BRIEF look around house and didn't want tea, or biscuits/cakes, only water!  
I think they are all taught to do that to test us  it's a ploy me thinx!  

Jaynee...welcome to you 

Minmouse....Thank you for your kind words about the list, it's very much appreciated, as it does take me a while to keep it updated etc as I have to do it in 'Word' first then jiggle it around on here to get it 'lined up' as best I can due to the 'jumping up' problem we have when writing long posts.
It's good to know that it is useful. Thank you hun x 

mmmbop....Congratulations on getting through your Initial Visit intact  Hopefully the next stage will happen quickly for you 

CB...I hope Panel went well  I'm sure it did and you are out celebrating as we speak! 

Have a good evening all,

Luv Anj x

* * PS....To all...Please remember to 'pm' me if you want to be updated on the list, as I may miss it if you say in the thread. Thanks x * *


----------



## Chocolate Button

We did it! We passed with flying colours! 
I have been so hyper, I am shattered and I will talk to you all tomorrow.
Thank you all so much again for your support. xx


----------



## Moppit

CB - Logging on for news.... have been thinking of you and bet you are busy celebrating a positive result right now!

Let us know!

Mx


----------



## Moppit

Our posts must have crossed. Just checked again and seen the news! Fantastic!!!!!! Wahey!!!!! Huge congratulations! What a great feeling. We are now very firmly in the same boat and approved and waiting!

Mx


----------



## Tarango

Chocolate Button 

[fly]   CONGRATULATIONS  [/fly]

hope your wait is a short one xxxx



hello to everyone else xxx


----------



## Maccer

Hi Nicola,

I know what you mean about waiting but I have a feeling we better get used to it, spoke to my LA yesterday and they haven't even looked at our enquiry yet, but I have been told that they might start on Monday, I think the mid term break last week has delayed them a bit.  

I am so sorry you are feeling low,  I think we all just need to try and keep eachother's spirits up, hopefully you can get the surgery quickly and then focus on your recovery, we all just need to keep on thinking what is waiting for us at the end of this process.     I know all the waiting will definitely be worth it then hopefully we will all have fewer of these down days.

Hope you feel better soon, let us know when the surgery is and we will send all our    your way.

Mx


----------



## kittykat1234

CB -    



I bet you are sooooooooooooo pleased!!!! Thats brilliant!!

Anything you can share with us about things you did through out the process for which you feel helped would be much appreciated!!  

xxx


----------



## mmmbop

[fly]LOVELY LOVELY LOVELY NEWS CHOC,SO HAPPY FOR YOU,XXX [/fly]

Hope the wait is not to long for you,

M'bops xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mmmbop

YOOHOO,hope all well?

Minmouse,s/w did stress how important it would be to have the extra room( so our son has his own space) and also needs to be done asap,as would not place a child with disruption of building going on. so if you have plans to show,and planning permission,that would really help.(from my own experience). honestly my house has wallpaper hanging of the walls,and all sorts going on, I think we must be mad to have invited a s/w in  

Kitty kat thanks for your messages,where are you on your journey ? sorry am just getting to grips with everyone,

Thanks anj,rachel,well everyone for your support,  

Love Mmmbop xx


----------



## Camly

[fly]whoohooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! chocolate b[/fly]

fantastic news. so very pleased for you.

hello to all other virgins x x x x


----------



## Chocolate Button

Thank you all ladies!
It actually was quite painless. Our own nerves were the worst part! there were 6 on the panel and 2 students, our sw, the head sw, the head of our agency, the lady taking the minutes and us. So the room was pretty busy. We were asked 6 questions and all in all we were in about 20 mins. We then left the room with our SW and the head SW. After about 5 mins (maybe less) the head of the panel came out and told us they were all happy to approve us!
I was numb! It really is the oddest feeling. I am now soooooooooooo excited!!!!!!!
Our SW said "congratulations you are now expecting your children" , I thought that was so nice. 
Lets just hope that the next stage is quick.
Honestly ladies It was not difficult. Anything we were asked we had been asked before and the panel members were so nice. It really not as bad as you imagine.
Onwards and upwards friends.xx


----------



## popsi

CB.. .told you it would be ok   ... there was about 18 on our panel though !!! so you were lucky


----------



## Moppit

CB - So pleased for you and sounds like the panel went brilliantly. Like Popsi we had more people but sounds like the rest of it was mostly the same. Interesting that you went out for the discussion, we didnt because we were told the process had changed but it must differ by LA. Did they give you any indication on how long it might take to be matched? Any children currently waiting that might be suitable?

Have a nice weekend

Mx


----------



## mmmbop

Hey Kitty,
have you seen Boggys homework post yet?

Love BOPs,xx


----------



## Pinky3

CB - congratulations       well done!!!

Hi everyone else - we start training on monday eeecccckkkkkkk


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi mmmbop  

Yes read it this morning!! Brilliant isn't it!

I have printed it off and am gonna make a good start this week!

I have started my google earth map and my friend is making a start on the booklet as i have now sent her all the info over for my area and what i want in it! Have you started yet?

xxx


----------



## minmouse

Choc Button - BRILLIANT NEWS!!   . Fingers crossed for a speedy match for you 

mmmbop - thanks for tip on building work - I guess it makes sense not to place if theres disruption. Ive got permission, just waitin for cash flow 2 to get crackin. I dont have peelin paper, but I do hav a really bad 70's kitchen, a bath & loo in the middle of stepson bedroom (while bathroom is being refurbed) & a big crack in the lounge where the fireplace is doin something weird?  I better get on with it - s/w would have a fit!

Pinky - good luck with training Monday - Im sure youll enjoy it everyone seems to.

 Hi to everyone else - have a great weekend

M
x


----------



## Belliboo

chocolate button congratulations   on being approved, hope your wait to meet your little one/s is not too long xxx


----------



## mmmbop

Good luck Pinkie for Monday,keep us posted,xxxxx


----------



## herbaltea

Hi everyone  

Chocolate Button - congratulations - what FAB news   You must be over the moon and here's hoping for a speedy match for you.

Pinkie - all the best for starting your training tomorrow!

Well I've now decided to go with my VA and have my 1st sw visit this tuesday! Cleaning like a woman possessed and quite nervous yet very excited to finally start my adoption journey!  

Hi to everyone else


----------



## kittykat1234

Yes pinky - Good luck and keep us posted on how you get on !! xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all 

Herbaltea...I hope the initial SW visit goes well  I bet your home is sparkly clean! 

Pinky....I hope the training is going well, looking forward to hearing all about it 

A small update from me....

I went down to the Nursery/Infant School yesterday where I will be doing some volunteer work.
I had to fill in some forms, but as 'parent volunteers' (that's what I'm called, lol...ironic hey  ) aren't allowed to be left alone with the children, they are happy for me to start prior to my CRB coming through.
I suppose because Social Services now have so much about us on file, they are also protected by this.
The Head Teacher and Nursery Teacher (who I will be helping) are lovely, and are happy for me to start next week 
The plan is to do one session (4 hours) a week, but I may do 2 if I can fit it in around my shifts.
I am so pleased to be accepted at this particular Nursery though, as it will be the Nursery and Infant school where we'd eventually like our little one/s to go 

Still no contact from our allocated SW yet to book our first HS visit  (even though I know all 3 of the other couples we are in contact with have already had their first meeting, or have it booked  )
I sent a very polite email on Sat just to chase up, as although we are very pleased with our LA on the whole, we have experienced some 'admin/post' errors previously with them.

On a positive note, it has meant that we have been able to finally finish our Prep Course work books (which was a MAMMOTH task!  ), I'm so pleased that's done!
It also means that I will have started my volunteer work, and DH's is all arranged, due to start soon, by the time we have our first visit, so that will hopefully look good too. 

I hope you are all well 

Luv Anj x

PS...I'll post the list again soon, just doing some updates.....


----------



## Anjelissa

*.....Adoption Virgins 2010.....*​ ​
*Initial Enquiries *

Tamelia.......... Waiting to start due to minimum gap required since last tx
Nicola1........... '' '' '' ''
Louise03........ '' '' '' '' 
Allyo............... Delayed by current LA/investigating alternative agencies
ClaireP .......... Making initial enquiries 
jessabella &#8230;.&#8230;Making initial enquiries

*Information Days & Initial Home Visits *

Minmouse...... Info Day on 19th Jan 2010
kittykat1234&#8230;Initial Home Visit 9th March 2010
Maccer...&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;Info Day on 9th March 2010
Lady Pink&#8230;..&#8230;.Initial home visit 3rd Feb 2010 
mmmbop&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.Initial Home Visit 23rd Feb 2010
alli&#8230;..&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;.&#8230;..Initial home visit Sept 2009
herbaltea.&#8230;&#8230;.Initial Home Visit 2nd March 2010

*Prep Courses *

Sonia7&#8230;&#8230;......Feb 2010
Cars...............Feb 2010
Pinky&#8230;..&#8230;..&#8230;..March 2010
karen72&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;March 2010
Zen&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..&#8230;...March 19th 2010
Rachel 78&#8230;....14th/15th & 19th/20th April 2010
kirmut&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;....April 2010
Mrs Dibbles.....May 2010

*Home Study & Awaiting Panel *

Anjelissa&#8230;..&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;Started HS March 2010
Cotsworld Girl&#8230;.&#8230;Panel Date on hold for a short while  
Lil-J&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;......Currently on HS
Shoe Queen&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;Panel Date planned for April 10
Mavis&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;...Started HS Jan 2009

*Approved at Panel  *

Moppit&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..&#8230;........Approved at Panel 9th Feb 2010
Chocolate Button.&#8230;..Approved at Panel 24th Feb 2010

Please let me know (via pm, as I may not catch it in thread) if you'd like to be added, updated, deleted, or even just certain wording changed.

*Good Luck to all of us in 2010*​ 
​


----------



## Irishlady

Hi everyone!  

We had our third failed treatment a few weeks ago. We had decided that 3 would be it. We are still coming to terms with things, though I have contacted our local council to gain some adoption info.  

I wondered if you could tell me if they require a gap between tx and starting the process? If so what is it?

Sorry if this has already been asked before,

xx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi Irishlady,

First of all a huge , sorry to hear your failed treatments.

I have no exp of what you are asking but other ladies on here do and you will get some excellent advice from them, but i have sent you a couple of links of posts talking about what you have asked.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=205002.0

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=198993.0

Like they will say, most - not all LA'S and VA'S do like some sort of gap, usually a year, but have a look at the links as i have never been in that situation.

Good luck and keep us all posted!! xxx


----------



## Maccer

Hi Irishlady,

So sorry to hear about your failed IVF treatments,  like Kittykat I have no experience with IVF but just wanted to wish you well  , from what I have read on these boards I think it varies from LA to LA, I have heard it can vary from 6 months to a year, but it is best to check with your LA.  If you do check please let us know what they say, hopefully your adoption journey can start sooner rather than later, when you are ready for it to start, of course  .

Take care.

Mx


----------



## Camly

hiya irish 

firstly, sorry to hear about ur failed IVF    i think it can vary from LA to LA - some say min of 6 months but i know when we first enquired, they didnt actually ask us when we 'stopped' having/trying tx so its always worth asking the question.obviously they will need to be sure that u are ready to move on etc.  

good luck with your journey.

lots of love to all the virgins x x x x


----------



## sonia7

Hi Irish lady, Hi everyone

At our LA, they did not mention about waiting 6 months, we said we had already decided that we would go down the adoption route if the next treatment was unsuccessful, although had not requested any info at that stage. But my treatment was successful in respect of getting pregnant but then I miscarried at 8 weeks with our twins, this was april 2009. I had requested the info towards end of April 09, went on the information meeting in June 09, had the initial visit in August 09, then was put on top of the waiting list for the preparation course in November 09 just in case some people dropped out but they didn't and in a way I am glad we did not go on the preparation course in November 09 as the course started the day before our twins should have been born so was feeling rather sensitive anyway. But we have just completed our Preparation course in Feb 2010 and I felt better and being able to cope with the course as on one of the sessions we talked about loss and I managed to get through it without any tears although did have a lump in my throat.

Hope this helps and I wish you luck in your journey.

Sonia xx


----------



## katie c

Irishlady said:


> Hi everyone!
> 
> We had our third failed treatment a few weeks ago. We had decided that 3 would be it. We are still coming to terms with things, though I have contacted our local council to gain some adoption info.
> 
> I wondered if you could tell me if they require a gap between tx and starting the process? If so what is it?
> 
> Sorry if this has already been asked before,
> 
> xx


 

our LA said 12 months at our info evening. when i asked the lady afterwards if this was carved in stone she kinda screwed her nose up and said 'weeellll...we _prefer_ it'

which implies to me they may let you off a couple of months but would not consider it too soon after treatment

a bit disappointing but i see why they do it...they don't want to waste all that money training you and then you decide to have another go after all

but i've heard other places say six months so hopefully yours will be one of them


----------



## Maccer

Hi Nicola,

Just wondered how you were doing?  I hope you are feeling a bit better?

Take Care

Mx


----------



## zen

Hi everyone

I am really useless at replying, I read almost every day but never commit fingers to keys!! 

I havent started a diary as yet but I am starting to look at our lifelines, whats in the area etc.  SS called today to confirm our places on the prep course, there are 16 of us which is quite a big group.  Kittykat thank you for starting the tread on the things we need to do, we hadnt thought of half hte stuff but I am now busy surfing the net to see whats out there.

Decided to change jobs and so am working my notice period.  It is very sad to leave but it is helping to put the weeks in and keep my mind from wandering too far into fairy land.

Hope all is well

Z


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

IrishLady, Like the others have said, LA normally want you to wait at least 6 months after treatment before moving on to adoption. I think it depends on local authority. In some ways though, although it is frustrating, it does give you a chance to grieve and move on. As many of us know undergoing IVF treatment is a very intense time. We failed our final attempt about this time last year, March 16th to be exact, and myself and my husband really needed time out from everything before going on to the next stage that for us is adoption. I don't feel that the 6 month break was a wasted time as we went on holidays, had fun, got drunk, laughed and cried and by november when we had our initial socialworker home visit we both felt ready and positive to move on to the exciting world of adoption. Good luck with your initial enquiries though   

We had some good news today actually. our local authority have said that if our CRB checks and references are ok we will be starting our prep course in May!!!!!!!!!! Yippee x   

How is your course going Pinky?

Hello to everyone else out there.

Mrs Dibbles


----------



## Irishlady

Thank you for all your comments and making me feel so welcome.

I had an email from our LA to say it is 6months and there is a prep course in Sept which we could go on, but to take more time to think about it. I am really keen but dh hasn't got his head round it. I know there are loads of books suggested but wondering if there are 1 or 2 you would recommend for us to read?

xx


----------



## mmmbop

Hi everyone,

Irishlady lots to think about,it is so hard ,big hug from me  .

Mrs dibbles-fab news, May will soon be here, 

I had a copy of the report of the initial home visit today,and this will be presented at the next adoption team meet on 30th March,to decide whether we go ahead or not  , so another nervous wait ahead   

love to all,xxx


----------



## herbaltea

Hi all  

Irish Lady - hello and welcome!   Sorry to read about your treatment, but many of us come from there to start our brand new adventures of adoption. Its great news that your la have mentioned about the sept course - something to focus on and I'm sure your dh will be ok in time.

Mrs Dibbles - prep course in May - brilliant!!!!

M'bop - great news about your initial visit and fingers crossed all will be fine and you'll get the go ahead on the 30th - I'm sure you'll be fine!   I had my initial va visit on tue and said I wanted to go forward. She said they do a 2nd sw visit with 2 sw's!!!!!! She said she would speak to her manager and then call to arrange a 2nd visit..........now waiting and eagerly hoping I hear soon!  

Hi to everyone else and hope everyone is fine and well


----------



## Rossi

Not posted on here for ages but have been following everyones stories and journies so far! Well we had our last homestudy today - we go to panel on April 1st - yes hopefully it will be a lucky day for us! We have had a really positive homestudy experience in fact I have really enjoyed it. I think it was helped loads by the fact that we have a fantastic social worker. 
Any tips and advice for panel would be greatly appreciated

Thanks Zoe x


----------



## Moppit

Zoe4 - Congratulations on getting your Panel date! Very exciting. In terms of what to expect I posted a detailed description of our panel a couple of weeks ago on the Virgins thread, you should be able to find it by searching under my posts. Let me know if you have any problems and I'll send you a link.

Irish Lady - As everyone says there is a lot to think about but having a September date in mind is great as it gives you loads of time to research, read and come to terms with the idea of adopting. As well as reading I would see if you can find anyone locally that has adopted through friends or relatives. We have found this really useful as although reading is great it is no substitue for being able to meet and talk to someone who has been through the process and come out the other side.

In terms of books, below I've pasted everything we read (this is the reading list from our home study). The most useful books I have highlighted with a * with the best one being What to expect when you are adopting by Dr Ian Palmer which is really easy to read. I got most of these from my local library to avoid forking out alot of money. The substance abuse ones we read later and I wouldnt suggest starting with these as they may scare you rather start with the ones with a * which are more general introductions to adoption. The diaries and non fiction are also worth reading.

Moppit x

*Non Fiction/Reference*

Caring for children exposed to substance abuse - Rena Phillips

A Child's Journey through Placement - Vera Fahlberg

What to expect when you are adopting - Ian Palmer*

Adoption - Jennifer Lord

The Primal Wound - Nancy Newton Ferrier

First Steps in Parenting the Child that Hurts, Tiddlers & Toddlers - Caroline Archer

The Adoption Experience - Ann Morris*

Considering Adoption - Sarah Biggs*

Why love matters - Sue Gerhardt

Approaching Fatherhood a Guide for Adoptive Dads - Paul May

Fiction/Biography

A Mother's Ruin (Alcohol Abuse) - Nicola Barry

Lost Child - Julie Myerson

An Adoption Diary - Maria James*

Blue Eyed Son, the story of an adoption - Nicky Campbell

Take Two, a story about confronting infertility, exporting alternatives and adopting 2 babies - Laurel Ashton*


----------



## tamelia

Hello everyone, I popped on here briefly just after my last failed treatment in November 09 to say we had decided to work towards adoption and we needed to wait 6 months.  I made a few enqiries with different LA's, some more helpful than others due to the fact i already have a 3 year old of my own through ivf and they just told me to come back in a couple of years!  

I have today accepted an invitation to go on an information evening on 30th March so am very excited to be making the first step.  We were invited to one in January but DH wanted to wait a bit so we could have some time out of focussing solely on wanting another child.  I feel i needed a little break to although didn't think so at the time as there is definitely a grieving process no matter how much you think you can deal with it.  I found i needed the time to work towards accepting that i would not ever be pregnant or have a newborn as i was getting very upset at seeing babies and appeared to be surrounded by them.  I can now go out and not have those pangs of hurt every time i see a baby in a pram or being cuddled as i know i am working towards a different goal now which involves a different process but is a lot more positive and likely to happen than IVF is.  I know there is a long way to go and deep down that hurt will always be there but the counselling offered no doubt will help too.

I'm a childminder too and am booking myself on as many free courses and workshops as i can, not all are that relevant but the next one is on attachment.  I am also reading an Adoption Diary by Maria James, which so far looks very helpful and easy to read.

I feel like we have tentatively taken our first step today and can't wait until the 30th.

I haven't been posting but have been reading everyone elses and look forward to sharing the journey with you all.
Tam x


----------



## kittykat1234

Irishlady - here is a link of here for the books - good luck xxx

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=171961.0


----------



## mmmbop

Hi Tam,
Sounds like we are having quite similar experiences, keep us posted and let us know how the 30th goes,hope it's a lucky day! 

Love to all,
Bops,xxx


----------



## Rossi

Thanks Moppit - I will take a look x


----------



## jayb

HI 
Good to see there is a thread on here for us. I have not been on FF for a long while, not writing on threads anyway. Our journey takes us back to 2005 and as you can see from our signature it like most has not been easy.
Where we are in the process is waiting for our CRB checks to come back. Have been checking on online and we are nearly complete. We have both had our medicals and all our referees have sent back their references.
So once CRB have arrived we can hopefully be put on the next prep course.
Don't have an awful lot of time what with working full time to come on FF but I do know how valuable it has been to me in the past. Found tremendous support at very difficult times.
Look forward to getting to know you all.
Zoe I too have read Maria James a very good friend brought it for me for my birthday I have since lent it to my DP mother and now my mother is reading it. I found it very informative.
I am now reading (not sure if it is on the list 'What to expect when You're adopting by Dr Ian Palmer Half way through and finding this equally as good. I have read lots of other books from the list and some have been more valuable than others. I guess depending on where you are at, in the process at the time.
Good luck to everyone. When I have been on the other threads it has always been very much of an uncertainty as to whether our dreams will come true. Now I feel that this is much more of a certainty and for that it is very exciting.
Lots of love Jaybxxxx


----------



## Maccer

Just wanted to say  virgins and hope everyone is having a good weekend and also to extend a warm welcome to Tam and Jayb, this board is amazing, filled with extremely helpful and supportive people. Cant wait to read about your journeys, keep in touch and let us know if you need anything, I am right at the beginning of my journey, so learning all the time.

Take care,

Mx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi all,

Hope you are all having a nice weekend in the sun  

Well tuesday is fast approaching for me  

Spent most of yday cleaning, bought new plug in air freshners (needed new ones anyway), and biscuits are in the jar and flowers in the vase!! Ohhhh and george my 1 dog went to the groomers yday!!  

Not too nervous at the moment, i just don't want to say the wrong thing, but as long as i am honest and myself, thats all i can do!!

I also have my first visit to the local support group thats been set up by auk tomorrow night - good timing i thought! I am more nervous about that!!

I'll update after sw has been on tuesday  

xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all 

Just time for a few personals, it seems like so much has happened since my last post, it's hard to keep up! 

Maccer....I hope your Info Day went well today, we really enjoyed ours.  It feels really positive when you're at that stage doesn't it, as things are now properly under way 

Kittykat....Lol at yr post re/cleaning, air fresheners, dog grooming etc  I think we can all identify with that! We have our first HS visit this week, so we'll be doing it all again!!  Lots of luck for your home visit.

Irishlady....I'm sorry to hear about your failed tx  We too had 3, and felt that enough was enough. I see you have now found out re/how long you have to wait since your last tx, I'm sure that time will fly by before you know it! I can't believe we are already in March!! 
One thing I would say to you hun, having been were you are, and being on a similar path, this new journey you are now making will seem so much more positive and exciting than the uncertain path we have to travel with tx. We are now about half way through our assessment and it seems so natural to us now, just as if this was what we were always destined to do. Lots of luck with your adoption journey 

Mrs Dibbles...Congratulations on getting your prep course dates for May.  I'm sure the CRB's and references will be fine. May will be here before you know it! 

mmmbop...Lots of luck re/yr home visit report. I think so far we too found that particular wait one of the most nerve wracking, eg..after the initial visit and waiting for the go ahead to continue. Ours wasn't helped either by the fact that our letter went missing in the post!  We patiently waited for 3 weeks, when they had sent the letter out within the first week after our visit! We had imagined all sorts of things were wrong in that time! 
You will be totally fine though and moving on to the next stage before you know it 

Herbaltea...I'm glad your initial home visit went well, I'm sure your 2nd one will be too, and just think how sparkly clean your home will be!  I hope you hear soon when the 2nd one will be.

Zoe4....Congratulations on getting your panel date  If you read back through a few previous pages of this thread there are some really helpful reports and tips from some lovely ladies on here that have recently been passed at panel. 

A few bits of news from me.....
We contacted our Adoption Services Manager in the end re/not hearing from our allocated SW and she was really lovely, and very apologetic, and explained that the SW we had originally been assigned to had too big a case load, and that we would now be with a different SW. We had a call from our replacement SW last week and our 1st HS visit is booked in for Thurs  Yayyy!
We also received a letter confirming the change in SW, which stated that we should be aiming for panel approx July! (double-yayyy!) 

On another note, I start my volunteer work at our local nursery on Tues (I'm going to be going once a week for a 4 hour session in the mornings). I'm really pleased to be able to have this opportunity, as along with gaining valuable experience, it will also be the Nursery/Infant School we'd like our children to go to, so it's great to be building a relationship with them now in advance.
I imagine though, along with SW HS visits, nursery work, HS home work and working fulltime, DH and I will be like a zombies!!   

That's it from me for now  I hope you've all had a good weekend, catch you soon,

Luv Anj x


----------



## mmmbop

Hi Ladies,
so much news to read  

welcome Maccer look forward to sharing your journey,

Herbal,two social workers !!!   do you think they play good cop bad cop?   
lots of this for when they come,xx  

Anj its all happening,    crazy times but soooo worth it,xx

Kitty what ever we do in life someone will have  an opinion on it,amazing the knowledge/expertise some people have on things they are not experiencing and never will.I think your strengths are highlighting their weaknesses  

love to everyone,  

Bops,xx



Zoe4 good luck for thurs,xx


----------



## mmmbop

Hello Jay,
may your dream come true ,keep hope in your heart,you are on the road to a little family,so exciting,xx

love Bops,xx


----------



## mmmbop

[fly]GOOD LUCK KITTYKAT   [/fly]

will be thinking of you tomorrow,how quick has that week gone!!
plug those air freshners in!!!! 
love Bops,xx


----------



## galaxy girl

Hello - I'm hoping I can join in!

we had our first SW visit 2 weeks ago and are currently filling in millions of forms! Hope to foster with a view to adopt....

Feel very new to all of this and look forward to seeing what is involved in this process and how everyone is getting on!


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

We have got our last training day tomorrow... today was really tough (looking at abuse/neglect)  .We have met some lovely people on the course and it has been really informative, even DH thinks its been worth while   

I just wish now we could press a >>FAST FORWARD>> button


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi everyone,

mmmbop - thank you for your lovely message -   - thank you for thinking of me!

Well it went VERY well     - i have detailed all that was asked etc in the post headed' sw visit tuesday and panicking'. She said she is definately putting me forward and that there are 3 prep groups running between now and september, but all are full so i will be on the sept one which is fine as i am in no hurry!

Thank you again for thinking of me and i hope you are all well xxx


----------



## mmmbop

Great news kitty


----------



## Anjelissa

Kittykat.....I'm glad it went well 
You'll be on that Prep Course before you know it! This year is going soooo fast! 

Pinky...How was the last day Of Prep Course?
Even though it's enjoyable, it's nice to know that hurdle is behind you isn't it 

I had my first day of volunteering at the nursery today which was fun (I'm going for one morning session a week). 
We have our first HS SW visit on Thurs morning, so it will be spring cleaning for me tomorrow!!! 

Luv Angie x


----------



## kittykat1234

Thank you mmmbop and Anjelissa,

Yes sept will be here b4 i know it!! Lots of time for me to go on more courses and get through my books  

Anjelissa good luck for thursday!! Please post and let us know what is done and asked and how it went  

Thanks again all and i hope you are all ok xxx


----------



## peanut butter

Hi Ladies

I wondered whether I can join your board and whether you can give me some help and advice.   I have had a bit of a rollercoaster over the last 18 months.  As you can see from my signature, I have had 2 attempts at ICSI and 1 FET.  Unfortunately during my first ICSI treatment, my mum died unexpectedly so it has made this whole journey a little bit more difficult.  We are due to start another ICSI next month but I just don't think I can face it again when there is no guarantee of a positive result.

I know that the adoption journey is difficult and long, but I feel that if we start on this journey we are taking a positive step towards our future and (hopefully) having a family.  My husband agrees with me but it seems like a big step phoning up the clinic and cancelling our treatment. Should I give it one more go or not?

I really miss having my mum to chat the decision through with so any guidance or advice would be very gratefully received!!

Thanks
Nx


----------



## Maccer

Hi Ladies,

Welcome to Nikkipas and Galaxy girl,   Nikkipas sorry I have no experience with IVF tx, but wish you the best in your journey to become a parent, keep us updated with what you decide, why don't you attend a info evening with your LA that might help you decide? 
Galaxy girl please keep us updated on your journey, we are at the beginning of our journey, we had our info evening last night, good luck and I hope you have a smooth and quick journey ahead.
Great news Kittykat, I am so happy for you,   for September.
Anjelissa Very happy for you too,   that you make the panel in July, this year seems to be flying by.

Well we had our info evening last night and I found that it was very informative, there were a lot of couples there last night with one or two singles, we didn't get to speak to other couples but we did speak to a social worker, everything seems positive so we are going to fill out the enquiry forms for this LA and see what happens. Anyway just thought I would update you all, thanks for the good wishes. I really can'twait to start this process properly now.

Hello to everyone else I hope your journeys are going well.
Mx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi there Nikkipas and welcome 

I also have no exp of IVF tx but like maccer has suggested, you could always attend an information meeting and see what you feel and also have a look at the posts on here, to get a feel for the adoption journey. One thing most LA'S and VA'S do like is a period of time between tx and adopting, but it does vary from area to area so maybe thats something to look into 

I am sorry about you mom, that musy have been a huge shock for you and very hard!!

Maccer -  thank you!! I am pleased so far too, early days i know but i am glad to have got 1 hurdle out the way and am looking forward to hearing off them re the next stage - training. Thats great you got on well last night!! Keep us posted 

xxx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps

Maccer- thanks for thinking off me.
Been a hard daqy today.
I have never cried so much because its mothers day before. Am clearly not over m/c as i thought i was even though its been 4 months to the day.
Am having another scan a wk on monday as i have got cycst again   
Think another op will be on the cards if they have grown more. Debating just having my ovaries out as they are useless to me anyhow.

How are you doing now hunny. 

Hope everyone else is doing ok

nicola x


----------



## katie c

oh nicola  

mothers day is tough isn't it? this is my forth without a pregnancy/child, and this could have been the one. and it won't be the one next year either...but the year after that...  

hope monday isn't as bad as you think. don't make any rash decisions yet, when you're feeling so raw.  

anyhow we had some good news this week, we sent off our registration form a month or so ago, and stated we'd had IVF in november so appreciated it was too soon but just wanted to know what to do. anyway they wrote back (so they're pretty on the ball   ) and asked us to reapply in june. so only six months not 12. so pleased.


----------



## Maccer

Hi Nicola,

I am so sorry you are going through all of this, I don't mean to be too forward, but have you thought of talking to someone about your loss? Mothers day is def one of the hardest days, I hope tomorrow goes better than you expect, we will be thinking of you, let us know how it goes,  I can't offer much advice, but just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and hope things start getting easier and better for you.     We are here if you need to talk, pm me if you just want someone to talk to, I haven't been in your position, but I am here if you just want someone to listen.

Take care of yourself.
Mx


----------



## sweets x

Katie- we will be quite close in starting won't we hun.  We were told may/june time too. Good that its not 12 months hun.
What are you doing to pass the time on.
I have just read the adoption diary by maria (can't remember her last name lol) and it was excellant.
Quite an eye opener and a weepy too.
Gonna lay off the adoption books for a bit now.
Were hoping to go away in june depending on how the next scan goes   

Maccer- thanks hunny, I have had some sessions with a woman from my clinic and she is very good. Think i'll book in again with her.
How are you doing??


----------



## knightr

Hi ladies
Can I join you? - I could really do with somebody or people that understand what I am going through.  

I really feel for you Nicola - I cried my eyes out on Saturday - its nearly 2 years since my hysterectomy - thought I was on the road to recovery but obviously I still feel very raw.

I am waiting for bladder and bowel surgery and don't know if I should start the ball rolling with adoption again.  We never did start the process officially.  We went to an information day in 2008 when we thought all my medical problems were  being sorted and put to an end.  How wrong were we.

I feel as though I am ready but I am really scared.  I am 100% committed to adopting but I really want to be well in myself before we can do it officially.  I have a district nurse that comes out to me twice a week - will increase to 3 times.  But hopefully they will agree to surgery - so I won't have to have this.

I am so sorry to ramble on.  Its so lovely to read this post and see so many ladies like me - especially Nicola - I have had cysts - which were always coming back due to severe endometriosis.

Would love to hear from you all.

Rachel xxx


----------



## sweets x

Racheal, hi hunny  

Really feel for you hun and would be lovely to chat to you.
The cysts are a real pain aren't they.
Not sure what the condition of my endo is in, but after 2 ivf's sure it ain't pretty in their.
Think you have to be ready in yourself before starting don't you.
Hope the surgery happens soon and you can try and be more 'normal'.
Do you know how long you are having to wait??

Hope everyone else is doing ok today.

I'm not even dressed yet, my day off's a monday so having a chill day. Will make a start on the house in a bit so dh don't think i've done nothing ALL day lol.

take care 

nicola x


----------



## Maccer

Hi,

Nicola - think just chatting to someone will help, I am thinking of you today, let us know how it went? I would def take a breather for now and let things settle in your heart and head, then your body and mind will be ready to go when it comes to starting the adoption process.  
I am fine, thanks for asking, I am right at the beginning of my journey, the waiting is sooo hard, so I can sympathise with you on that level, I just hope I get a call soon from one of the la's. 

Knightr - you are more than welcome to join, I am sorry to hear about what you are going through, I think you are better waiting to see if you require surgery, the only reason I say that is that you will require a medical when going through the process, and the la might say wait until you are given the all clear by your doctor, why not call your la and ask, hypothetically, see what they say but I have a feeling they are going to say wait until you know wether you require surgery or not.  Please let us know how you get on, I hope for your sake you can start the process as soon as possible.

  for both of you, 

Mx


----------



## knightr

Dear Nicola and M

Thank you so much for replying.  It is so nice to have someone to listen to me and not criticise so I am sending you both big  to you.  

I guess I knew in my heart that I would have to wait until after surgery is done.  I'm 40 this year and I know its not old but I just wanted to get the ball rolling.  I also have put away my adoption books but have only started recently thinking about adoption again.

In answer to your question I do not know when my surgergy will be.  I saw the bladder specialist in November last year who has put me on a waiting list for the operation.  Unfortunately I have been admitted three times since then into the hospital - and thats when it was revealed that i had trouble with my bowel.  The bowel surgeon is sending me for lots of tests and I am due to go and see him at the end of June - for the results and hopefully will agree to surgery.

Most importantly we have booked a few little holidays to keep our spirits up.

If either of you fancy a chat and want to correspond by text message that would be great too.  Please send me a private message and I will pass on my details.

Thanks again for listening.

Rachel xxx


----------



## Maccer

Hello,

June might seem a long way but you probably find the time will fly by especially with your little holidays booked, I think thats a brilliant way to pass the time, if the surgeon agrees to the surgery, how long will it take to actually to have the surgery?  Do you know how long your recovery time will be, the only reason I ask these questions (not to be a nosey parker) is if you have an action plan that might help time go faster and help you deal with the surgery and wait, while you are recovering you could be doing all your research that you will need to do for the adoption process, sorry you probably have thought about all of this, I think I would still contact your la and if they have one coming up go to an info evening and actually speak to a sw face to face, it will help answer all your queries.  Our info evening was really good and answered all those questions and doubts I had floating around in my mind.  I will pm you my details in a bit.  I hope you find all the answers to your questions and I hope you feel a bit better soon.  


Mx


----------



## blueytoo

Hi everyone

I've been reading this board for a long time and tonight is finally the day for my info evening. I've been to one before about 6 years ago in a different county so know what to expect. I'm very excited to be finally getting started though as I've read a million different adoption books over the years, used to work in the legal field that dealt with care proceedings and adoptions so have read thousands of social worker statements, court reports, foster carer logs, court judgements etc so at least I know exactly what to expect.

I'm a single woman with a 12 year old birth son and looking to adopt a sibling group and I'm going with my LA. The response so far from the adoption team has been very positive, they seem to like the fact that my son is older so have lots of parenting experience plus I've worked in the past as a nanny, nursery nurse and manager of a day nursery and have worked in schools, hospitals, special schools etc. I run my own businesses too and basically have staff to do everything for me so am at home all the time too. 

I'm hoping and praying that the positivity continues as it is a fairly conservative county I live in!


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi there blueytoo,

Welcome  

Sounds amazing, everything you have going for you! Can't see you having any problems  

Good luck with it all and let us know how you get on xxx


----------



## Maccer

Hi Blueytoo,

Welcome, it sounds like you should have no problems getting through the adoptive process at all, enjoy your info evening tonight, I hope it all goes well and you have a lovely smooth journey, keep us updated.

Take care,

Mx


----------



## galaxy girl

Hi everyone - I just wanted to up date everyone - we got the forms posted last thursday.... so just waiting to hear back - not even sure when we are likely to get a response - does anyone know?  

Macer - looks like you're just a bit further ahead with the process than us so I can't wait to hear how you are getting on!


----------



## Belliboo

Hi Bluetoo welcome to the thread

hi to everyone else hope everyones ok xx


----------



## Maccer

Hello everyone,

Galaxy girl, I think the only difference between your journey and mine is time, we have sent off the forms but waiting to hear back, hopefully we will hear by the end of this week from at least one of the la's see my diary, its a bit confusing, we dropped our forms off to la1 over 4 weeks ago and I chased them yesterday, apparently they will be calling soon to make the 1st appointment as for the 2nd la well we only sent the forms back last week so I am guessing it will be another few weeks before we hear from them, but they had a info evening so we got the info we wanted from there but I want to speak to the sw'er at la1 to make sure we go with the right la.  Hopefully you won't have to wait 4 weeks for a call, but let us know when you do get it.


Hope everyone else's is journey is progressing a long nicely.

Take care,
Mx


----------



## blueytoo

Hi everyone

Info evening was what I expected last night although after speaking to the senior practitioner I found out that there is a lot of prejudice against single women in this county/LA. I'm not exactly surprised as it is soooo conservative around here. She said I would wait the longest to be placed as many of the children's social workers in the LA are old fashioned and set in their ways.

I'm not going to let it get it me down though, I'll just have to "sell" myself hard when the times comes. It's just another reason I dislike the UK so much tbh.

My LA seem to match very fast. The longest someone is waiting at the moment is just one couple who went to panel last July, they are the only ones waiting, so not even a year. Another couple were approved at the end of last month and have been matched last week!

Put my name down for an initial visit and have been told to expect a phone call to set that up, so all steam ahead for now.

Hope everyone is doing ok

Claire xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Sorry I haven't been here much this week, it's been a bit manic! 

We had our first HS SW visit last week and she's really lovely, so we feel very lucky.
She's off on holiday now, so we don't have another visit for a few weeks, but we have the next 6 appointments booked in for her return.
It seems like we are aiming for panel in July  

I had my first volunteer nursery visit last week too, I'm helping out in a Nursery/Infant School in the Nursery class of 30 children (3-4 year olds), once a week, (2nd one is tomorrow).
It went really well, and I enjoyed it, but I did feel a bit like a 'spare part', not knowing the routine, and where things were etc, I'm sure that will seem easier after a few sessions though.

I hope all's well with everyone, sorry that I don't have time for personals this time.

Catch you all soon, luv Anj x


----------



## herbaltea

Hi all........gosh lots happening on here  

Hello Blueytoo - interesting to read your posts.......I too am a singly and run my own business.....and have a feeling both va and la local to me are a bit anti single!   What business do you run? She asks nosily!! haha

Welcome Nikkipas   So sorry to read about your mum and treatment. I too was on the rollercoaster of ttc with a clinic and decided that adoption was the best path for me.......because once approved, at least you know you will be a family one day!   Why not request some info from some agencies or attend an info meeting and see how you feel?  

Anjelissa - wow panel in July - not long to go now!!  

Hi to everyone else  

I've now had initial visit number 2 with wait for it .......2 sw's!!!!! Now having to wait for medical reports to come back (due to a one off medical prob 4 years ago) and apparently it can take a VERY long time for these reports to be compiled and sorted! ARghhhhhhh!
So hoping I don't get a no you can't formally apply! And here's to a YES, here are the application forms!


----------



## mmmbop

^[fly]fairydust^      [/fly]

Hi all,
sorry not posted much but am keeping an eye on you all,have been working and get sooo tired.

bye for now,xxx

[fly]      [/fly]


----------



## galaxy girl

Woohoo got a letter today to say they have received forms and are doing the initial checks. they will be in touch re starting the home study when all checks back in!!! excited!


----------



## Maccer

very happy for you Galaxy girl  

Hope all the checks and everything go quickly and smoothly, keep us updated.

Mx


----------



## mmmbop

Great news Galaxy girl,
Love to everyone else  

have just had a couple round for tea with their two adopted children,and they have lent us some reading material,and have said we can approach them any time for advice,which is great, I was ordering some books on adoption a few weeks ago,and this lady overheard me and just approached me and asked if we would like to meet up with them for a chat !!! how coincidental is that!!!??!! and they only live up the road too.

big hugs 
Bops,xx


----------



## Maccer

Hi Nicola and Rachel,

Just was wondering how you two are getting on?  Been thinking of both of you, hope it means no news is good news.

Take care,
Mx


----------



## blueytoo

Hi everyone

Herbaltea - I run a couple of ecommerce businesses. I hope the medical reports get done quickly for you.

Anjelissa - sounds like everything is moving full steam ahead for you!

Galaxy Girl - so pleased for you, hope the checks are done quickly!

mmmbop - What a lovely coincidence and how nice to have some support so close.

My little update is that I got an email from the social worker this morning arranging my initial visit for April, seems so far away, waiting for 3 weeks to go by is going to be torture. Oh well, I had better get used to it!

Love to all

xx


----------



## Moppit

Morning Lovely Virgins!

Hope you all had good weekend and are enjoying Spring. Havent posted for a while but was thinking of everyone particularly last weekend on Mother's Day. Can't help hoping that all of us will be spending Mother's day with a little one next year. Cannot begin to imagine how good it would feel to be receiving a card rather than just giving one!

mmbop - Great that you are making connections with adopters. We have been overwhelmed by how kind people are and have met up with several 'complete strangers' to hear their experiences. Its invaluable and will also stand you in good stead for the HS as SW's love to hear that you have a support network that includes adopters who can really understand what you are goign thorugh.

Galaxy Girl - Good News

Blueytoo - April will be here before you know it! think of how fast the year has gone we are in mid March already!!!

Herbal Tea - I'm sure you won't get a no. Hang in there the medical forms will get done and then you'll be back on your way.

No update from me still in the waiting phase post panel and will be for some time yet....Need to learn to be patient!!!

Mx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya. Hope your both well  had my scan. The Cyst's had gone. Just had another smaller one which the nurse said could be a new one. Getting refered back to seeing gyny. Am going to ring la up again to see if we can book in for open evening in april. Hope they don't say we have to wait more. Am still upset etc.. But I think starting will help if that makes sense x x


----------



## sweets x

Woo hoo. Got date in may for open evening. They are sending info  out in a few days. Prep course is june but she is doubtful we'll get on  that soon so looks like sept.  x


----------



## kittykat1234

Thats great Nicola1x     

Keep us posted on how you find the info meeting xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Hello Ladies!
Is it ok if I join you!?  We have just started the whole process of adoption!  Should be going to an info evening on 7th april! xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Hello! Can I come and join you all?  We are now starting our adoption journey xxx


----------



## Boggy

Welcome bee bee

I'm sure you'll find lots of support from us adopters and adopters-to-be. We're a friendly bunch!  

Bx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Aw thank you Boggy!  We're so excited!!  Did anyone else feel just free and excited when they started this part of the journey? xxx


----------



## sweets x

morning peeps

BeeBee- welcome hun. I feel pretty excited about the whole thing too, although a bit reserved and nervous too  
We have our open evening on 27th may. Quite a way away but at least we'll be clear of the 6 months waiting mark from last ivf.
You'll have to let us know how you get on.

Hows everyone else feeling??

Kittykat- you ok??

Maccer, mmmbop, zen and racheal- not heard from ya for a bit

Am going to start a diary.
Going to put weds phone call in it and then track everything that happens from now on. Want our little one/s to know everything we went through so they'll know how special they are.


Take care

nicola x x


----------



## Moppit

Bee Bee - A big welcome to you! You are in just the right place. There is an amazing, brave and fantastic group of ladies on here all going through the adoption process too! Congratulations for starting the journey and good luck!

Have good weekends virgins - mine will be filled with marathon training - only 4 weeks to go until the big race and have to run 18 miles tomorrow - yuk!

Moppit x


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Hi Girls, Sorry I haven't been around lately. It was cheltenham races last week so I had the week off work and we were out and about quite a lot! No major wins so can't afford to retire just yet!!!!  

Just thought I'd pop on and say hello and welcome to the new ladies. 

As for us, its just a waiting game now. I have spoken to our referees and they are all busy writing nice things about us (I Hope). But hopefully it will all be done in time for our course in May. It is all feeling very real and exciting now.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend. 

Ta ta for now 

Mrs D  xx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

By the way, has anyone heard from cotswold girl recently? I just wondered how she was getting on. If your reading this hun, lots of love and good luck to you.


----------



## Maccer

YIPEEE NICOLA   So happy for you, you are finally on your way, very happy to hear that your cysts are gone, hope the small one disappears too. Let us know how you find the info evening? I am very excited for you.

Welcome Bee_Bee - I was very excited after my info evening, it seemed to feel so real and I knew we were doing the right thing after that. I hope you enjoy your info evening on the 7th, let us know how you get on.

Hope Rachel is getting on ok?

I am getting a bit despondent at the moment, we have our application with two la's and neither one has called to arrange a home visit, I don't want to push it too far but one of them has had our application for over a month now, I really just want to start the process now.

Hello to everyone else, hope everyone has a good weekend.

Mx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Moppit - thank you for the welcome!!!  

We got our date for the information evening today - 7th April so not far away at all! xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Nicola - what a lovely idea with the diary!  I may have to pinch that idea if you don't mind!!!

Maccer - sorry to hear you are still waiting to hear back I would keep bugging them! 

AFM we are most definitely booked in on 7th april .  Am very excited xxx


----------



## herbaltea

Hi Bee Bee and welcome   Great news about your info day - not long to go now!

Moppit......wow - a marathon! I don't think I could walk 18 miles yet alone run it haha! Having said that, I've just started jogging (or trying to haha!) Hope tomorrow goes well 

Hi to everyone else  

Still no news from me.......awaiting a medical report before I can formally apply!

Have a great weekend all


----------



## sweets x

Maccer- know what you mean about pushing it  
Could you not just ring them anyway and say 'don't wanna bug ya but can you tell me how things are progressing??'
Hope you hear something soon hunny

BeeBee- i got the idea for the diary from here. Gonna get a nice leather one i think so it keeps ok.

Am slightly tipsy writing this so sorry for any silly mistakes.

My work college had her baby this mnorning, am happy for her but at same time am pretty sad for myself so have had a few too many vodcas    

Hope you all have nice plans for weekend.
We off bowling tomoz then off to blackpool to de-stress by me screaming my head off and embarressing dh with my screaming on the rides   

We are booked up every weekend till middle off April so trying to keep busy.

Going to the coast with my 2 youngest nephews easter sunday so am   for dry weather. Can't wait, don't know who is more excited me or them lol.

Take care

nicola x x


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

Hope you are all well

Just a little update from me, we are waiting for a social worker to be allocated to us to be able to start our home study. Also to gain more childcare experience I have applied to be a volunteer at the Beavers 6-8 year olds - once a week 5-6pm. I am starting there on wednesday just to see what they do and if I would like to go ahead and be a volunteer I have to have yet another CRB Check even though I have just recieved my CRB Check for the adoption only a few weeks ago (Ah well keeps the CRB Check people in a job I guess) and also pass 2 modules - one on child protection and the other on scouting, and if I want to be a leader I have to pass 19 modules and my DH is going to be a mentor for 8 - 13 year olds. Will let you know how we get on.

Sonia xx

Sonia xx


----------



## lisa79

Hi hope you don't mind me joining just a little about our journey. We have had 2 lots of ivf and one fet i have grade 4 endometriosis and have lost both tubes and one ovary due to this disease. I currently have a large cyst on my remaining ovary and am due to go to theatre on the 15th April. We started the adoption process last October with the information evening then had to wait till Jan as our agency likes you to wait 6 mths after the last lot of treatment. We have attended our prep course and had 2 home visits 4 more to go. We go to panel in Sept and our paper work has to be completed by July. Its all very scary!


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

we have just found out we have to wait for the SW to be allocated, should take upto 2 months   but we have a holiday in 2 months to look forward too   so should go quicker  

Sonia - i thought about voluntering at Rainbows, let us know how you get on  

Beebee - hi and welcome 

Moppit - WOW i dont think i could run one mile  

Mrs D - oohh the races sounds very glam!!

Hi everyone else   

Hi Lisa!


----------



## Cars

Hi All,

Welcome Beebee  

Well we have just been allocated our sw, she seems lovely, we meet on the 15th of april but she has sen us lots of stuff to do in meantime, ecosupport network, family tree, disclosure checks, medicals and personal profiles, we are kept busy!! Really looking forward to getting started and sharing this journey with you all x

Have a great weekend x


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi all,

Hope you are all well and having a nice weekend, the sun is shining here which is a bonus 

Welcome Bee_bee, your definately in the right plave on here! I don't think there is a single adoption topic that hasn't been discussed on this site - it's fab!! Good luck with your info meeting, let us know how it goes - it's all soooooo exciting!

Moppit - Good luck with the marathon training! I too am training, but for a half not a full! It's just to get fit really and do something other than watching telly all the time and shopping . I am amazed at how fit i am getting as i have only been training about 2 months, on and off and already i am running 6 miles fairly comfortably! It helps that a friend of mine is also training with me so we can help each other!

Sonia7  - That sounds great about what you are starting to do to gain more child care experience, and your hubbie too, between you you will be experts by the end of it . Is that the sort of age group you are hoping for? Good luck with it! I started vol work at a local nursery in january to gain more exp and also cause i had been told that they would want me to be doing something, but when i had my first sw visit the other week i was told i have plenty and the fact i regularly babysit is also a bonus and that there is no need to start anything additional. I am going to carry on anyway as i LOVE it!! I am in with the 0-12 months! Love it!!

Lisa79 - Wow not long to go for you guys! How exciting! How have you found the hs?? Sounds like you are well on your way, please keep us all updated on how everything goes and good luck for the 15th 

Pinky - It's tough isn't it the wait!! Like you say though, your holiday will be something to look forward to and then before you know it you will be on your way  - good luck!

Cars - Certainly sounds like you are going to be kept busy! Passes the time though hey! Hope it all goes well and just keep in mind what the final result will be 

Mrs Dibbles - Hi, so what stage are you at in your process? How many referees have you had to give? I have to give 3, a family member and 2 others! I have already asked 2 lots of couples and will ask my parents nearer the time! How was cheltenham??

Well no change with me, it will be 3 weeks this coming tuesday since my first sw visit and she said i would hear within 2 weeks  if i am to be put forward for the sept prep course, but i am imagining they are super busy and as the next stage for me is not till sept, i am in no rush to be calling them, although i really would like to know one way or the other! I may give them a tinkle next week 

Good luck to everyone  xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi Nicola1x -  

Yes all godd with me thank you, how are you doing, apart from being VERY pleased things are finally moving at last   - i am really pleased for you!!

Sorry i havn't posted for a while! Having a few problems with 1 of my dogs! She was diagnosed with a brain tumor a few weeks ago so i have been doing once a week visits to cambridge for radio therapy!! Very draining as it's a good 3 hours away but all worth it as it will give her another year with me and she is fairly old anyway so thats all i would expect anyway! It's the last one next week thankfully! She doesn't seem to be bothered by it all as its only a 5 min procedure so thats the main thing  

Really pleased you have an info meeting date - let us know how it goes!

Have a good weekend xxx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Kittykat, our references are the same as you, one family member (my sister) and two others of which we have chosen friends with children. Cheltenham was great, I won on the gold cup but that was about it. We both love horse racing though as do alot of our friends so it is always a major get together and great fun!


----------



## Old Timer

Hi

I'm sure Cotswold Girl won't mind me updating you a bit.....

She has started chemo, 2nd one just after Easter, and is on all sorts of meds which with the chemo are making her tired etc but everyone is optimistic for good news and her consultant doesn't see why it should stop them adopting.  The LA have asked them to withdraw for now, as they don't have a 'on hold' policy, concentrate on getting fit and healthy again, and then contact them again to do an update, approx 4 HS sessions, before going to panel.  All being well I think timing wise will be early next year.

Am in regular contact so will let her know you have been asking after her.
OT x


----------



## Tegan-Marie

Hi Everyone,

Hope you are all well and having a good weekend.

I just wanted to say hello and join your friendly board. I've just started the hs part of my adoption journey as a singlie. I've had a couple of visits but will have a bit of a gap now due to holidays. I've lots to think about and do though so hopefully the gap will go quickly. 

I had my info meeting last june, initial hv in november and prep course in feb. Have done my medical and just sent off my crb so hopefully i can do some experience in a nursery.

Looking forward to getting to know you all a little, good luck everyone

Tegan-Marie

Xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Mrs Dibbles - well done for your win!! Always help the day go with a bang when you strike lucky! Yes i am also asking 2 sets of friends who have children, i have so many i could ask i don't want to offend anyone by not asking them, but i know the 2 i am going to ask when the time comes!

Tegan Marie - Hey, i know we have messaged already but just wanted to say hello again and welcome to this thread! Hope you are ok! I am just about to read your post on my thread so i'll message you a bit more on that 

Hi to everyone else xxx


----------



## Maccer

Hello Ladies,

Thanks for all your kind words, I am feeling a bit better today, I think I am going to wait another week and contact them next Tuesday, if I haven't heard from them by then.   
Now that its School holidays again I think there will be some sw'ers going on holiday themselves, there just seems like there is never a good time to contact them.  

Nicola - Hope you enjoyed bowling on Saturday and that you had a stress free weekend, so glad you are keeping busy, that will most definitely help in passing the time and keeping your mind off any negative thoughts.  

Kittykat - I am so so sorry to hear about you dog, I hope she gets better soon and that she gets to spend a lot longer than a year with you, they are so precious, I don't know what I would do without my two, such wonderful characters, please let us know how the last procedure goes, will be sending goodvibes to your side of the country.

Bee Bee - keep us updated, starting a diary is very good idea to keep everyone in the loop and also for you to look back on.

Hello to everyone else, hope you are all well.


Mx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi maccer,

Thank you for that really kind and lovely message   - i will definately keep you posted on how she gets on on thursday (her last radiotherapy session). I am soooooooooo glad it's the last one as don't know how much more she would stand! It's not so much the radiotherapy as the general anesthetic that seems to knock them about! So far though she is doing well  .

Sorry to hear you still havn't heard anything yet but like you say, with easter and school hols etc it's probably not a good time for them, but it doesn't help us with our waiting! I will also send good vibes to your area to will them along to call you  , our vibes will probably meet half way     

Well it's been 3 weeks tomorrow since my first hv and i have heard nothing so i thought i would give them a call lunch time, just to see if a decision had been made, as i can't book anything in sept till i know if i am on the prep course and friends are waiting for an answer on a holiday (plus i really want to know). I spoke to the receptionist and she looked on the system and said that my application had gone to the supervisor and all it said was single application-Re CRB. She said it was passed over on 20.03.10 so i should be hearing anytime now either by writting or phone. Just don't know why it said Re CRB as they have come back all clear as i knew they would do so i am thinking it just means that they are awaiting the results as i only got them back through the post last week! Can't think what else it could mean  

Anyway all will be revealed soon i am sure!

Good luck with everything and keep in touch xxx


----------



## zen

Hi everyone 

I have tried to read and keep up but having a rubbish few weeks. I am leaving a job I love this week due to rubbish management. My line manager is being very dismissive and down right rude. All I asked for was support and when he said he would do something that he would. It's like watching a child strop!!!

Anyway, have completed 2 days of a 3 day prep course, last day this Friday. For anyone yet to attend these courses please be aware that they show you the worset case scenario. The poor presentation skills are driving me mad, 90per cent of my job is presentation focussed. 

Medical with GP booked April 16 and then the fun begins. My cancer consultant is v positive and supportive but we have to convince the medical examiner. CRB checks to be done and as I moved around England over ten years I am expecting this to be complicated.

I am sorry if there are no personals and this seems a low message, I am just having a bad week.

C


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi Zen,

First of all i am sorry you are having such a rubbish time  . This whole process is very draining without additional work and health problems making things worse!! Hopefully your new job will be great and make leaving the old one worth while! I will keep everything crossed for you  

That's great you are nearly at the end of your prep course  , well done! I fongers crossed   am on the september one, should be hearing any time soon! I am excited but nervous too as i have heard the sw's etc do watch you and monitor how you have done  , is this right?? Anything else you could tell me about whats involved would be greatly appreciated!! 

That's great you have your medical booked too - all sounds like things are moving along well and with any luck will all go smoothly    . My CRB's took 3 weeks (my la does these fairly early on) and that was with only living at 2 addresses within 5 miles of each other and have also had to have them done through work and those took about the same time so i think generally on the whole they do take a while, but what i try and do when i have a gap of waiting is to focus on getting everything sorted and preparing as much as poss. Courses with auk, reading loads,reading all the posts on here and making notes an printing things off, planning any changes you want to make to your house or garden ( i am currently looking into all thats involved in having a conservatory for a play room) and have been looking at built in and not built in sand pits which is running ahead massively but it's nice to look and plan ready for when things really get going, and passes the time  . 

I hope you start to feel better soon and that the last day of the prep course goes well   xxx


----------



## mmmbop

HELLO EVERYONE 

Well yesterday was the day the adoption team were(hopefully )dicussing our application ! wonder how it went, and how long they'll keep us waiting 

Bee - I am in Suffolk too, not long till the meet,
BIG hugs to cotswaold girl,xxx

Hi Kitty,well done on the running,I keep trying then stop,must try harder if you can acheive that in two months,x

Moppit, am very impressed, 18 miles..... wow!

Sonia ,Lisa,cars,Dibbles, tegan,pinky a big hello and also to anyone I have missed 

Keep well,
love Bops,xxx


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Hi everyone, 

As Old Timer said I'm doing ok but we're having to withdraw our adoption application for now until I'm fully recovered which in reality won't be until later this year. It was difficult to hear this on top of everything else but deep down I know it's the right thing too as dealing with chemo is enough for now. Hopefully when we are ready it shouldn't take too long to update our report and get us to panel.

Mrs Dibbles - thanks for thinking of me. Once you've completed the course time starts to fly! Glad you enjoyed the races. I've still not been Gold Cup week despite living near Cheltenham for over 20 years! Definitely going next year  

Good luck all. I'll pop in from time to time to see how you're all getting on but am unlikely to be a regular poster until after we've put the chemo and radiotherapy behind us and are able to restart the process. I'll be keeping everything crossed for you though.

Love, CG xxx


----------



## Camly

CG - just wanted to send u a massive    take care of urself.

hi to all the other virgins and to the new 'virgins'.


lots of love camly x x x x x x


----------



## kittykat1234

mmmbop - Yer i know what you mean about the stopping thing!! I have just properly got going again after a little break , what i find the hardest is getting the motivation together after being at work all day!!

Cotswold Girl -    and will look forward to your return 

Hiya Camly - how you doing? How are the little ones??

Well still heard nothing from the adoption team since my first hv , when i called them on tuesday, the receptionist looked at my file on the computer and said that it had been passed onto the supervisor on the 20th march and so i should be hearing any day now! I know i don't start the next stage till sept but would just like to know!

Anyway i'm sure it won't be long!

I hope you are all getting along ok and have a great easter xxx


----------



## ljgibbins

Hi Everyone,

Adoption Virgin here and first time on thread.......bit nervous as I have been posting while on the IVF threads.

Just received some adoption information, bit tough as I am single but determined.....nearly 40 and all I want is to be a mummy 

Lisa xx


----------



## Boggy

Hiya ljgibbins

Welcome the the adoption/fostering boards! There are a few single ladies going through the process at the moment and I'm sure they will say hi!

If you have any questions, just shout! (thought typing may be more effective   )

bx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Hello LJGibbins and welcome. You will find that we are a lovely friendly bunch on here so don't be nervous of us. We are all in the same boat and none of us are experts by any means!! Its just nice to have some other girlies to chat to and hold your (virtual)  hand on our exciting journeys to becoming a mummy!!!! 

Lovely to hear from you CG. Hope the chemo is going ok. Sounds like your being well looked after and I'm sure you will be back on your feet before you know it.     

Hi to everyone else, gosh there is a lot of us now, I find it difficult to keep track of everyone, but hello to everyone.

Mrs D


----------



## kittykat1234

ljgibbins

 WELCOME 

I am also a single adopter and there are a few more of us on here too as Boggy said 

I have started a diary on the adoption diaries section which is above the main message board and so has at least 1 of the other single ladies if not more than that. Herbal tea is a singlie who has started a diary and also Tega-marie too but can't remember if she has a diary going or not , so having aread of those may be of help to you although we are all fairly early on.

You are definately in the right place on here, as i always say, i owe all i know to date to this site and the fab ladies on here! I don't think there is a subject that hasn't been discussed on here , i have got sooooooooooooooooo much info and help and ideas it's untrue 

Good luck with your jourey and happy reading , i have been on here since christmas and am still no where near the end of reading all the threads ,on this subject alone!!

Keep in touch and keep us all posted on your journey  xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi all  

I have posted this as a new topic but wanted to put it on here too!

I came home tonight to a letter from the adoption team to say i meet al the criteria to be put forward for the prep course      

Soooooooo happy!! 

I know this is not till sept but at least i know now and can carry on planning and thinking about a conservatory ( as a play room) and carry on with all my other ideas - doing a first aid course (pediatric), appointment with mental health nurse for information on effects etc, more reading and research and booking on to more courses!! Had put a bit of a hold on stuff as hadn't heard from them but now that hold is OFF!!!  

Hope you are all ok and have a great easter!! This letter has just made my easter and b'day on tuesday go with a bang xxx


----------



## Rossi

Hello everyone

I have posted on here a few times in the past but would love to share my lovely news.

DH and I were approved today YEAH  

Now for the wait... 

Zoe x


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

How exciting, I love good news, Congratulations to Kiitykat and to Zoe


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all, and a Happy Easter to everyone! 

Sorry I haven't been here very much lately, I don't seem to have any time atm!
I work 6 days on, 3 off, and then am volunteering one day a week at our local Nursery, and have weekly SW visits on another day each week, so am pretty much doing 8 day weeks atm!  
It is all for a hugely worthwhile cause though, so I'm not complaining. 

CG....More big  and healing vibes being sent your way, it's lovely to hear from you 
I hope your treatment goes as swiftly as possible, and that you're back fighting fit asap.  x

Zoe....HUGE Congratulations on being approved! That must be an amazing feeling! I hope you went out and celebrated! 

kittykat...Congrats to you for being accepted forward for the prep course!  Sept will be here before you know it! I can't believe it's April already! 

I hope you all have a great Easter BH weekend. I just hope the weather improves a bit, it's been tipping it down here today! 

I'll post the list again in a bit as I haven't done for a while. Please keep me informed (via pm) if you have any updates for me to add. I try to keep up to date from people's signatures, but I don't have so much time atm, so may easily miss something.

Catch you all soon, Luv Anj x


----------



## Anjelissa

*.....Adoption Virgins 2010.....*​ ​
*Initial Enquiries *

Nicola1...........Waiting to start due to minimum gap required since last tx
Louise03........ '' '' '' '' 
Allyo............... Delayed by current LA/investigating alternative agencies
ClaireP .......... Making initial enquiries 
jessabella &#8230;.&#8230;Making initial enquiries

*Information Days & Initial Home Visits *

Minmouse...... Info Day 19th Jan 2010
kittykat1234&#8230;Initial Home Visit 9th March 2010 (Prep Course hopefully Sept 2010)
Maccer...&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;Info Day 9th March 2010
Tamelia...........Info Day 30th March 2010
mmmbop&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.Initial Home Visit 23rd Feb 2010
alli&#8230;..&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;.&#8230;..Initial Home visit Sept 2009
herbaltea.&#8230;&#8230;.Initial Home Visit 2nd March 2010 
blueytoo&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;Initial Home Visit 13th April 2010

*Prep Courses *

Sonia7&#8230;&#8230;......Feb 2010
Cars...............Feb 2010
Pinky&#8230;..&#8230;..&#8230;..March 2010
karen72&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;March 2010
Zen&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..&#8230;...March 19th 2010
Rachel 78&#8230;....14th/15th & 19th/20th April 2010
kirmut&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;....April 2010
Mrs Dibbles....May 2010
Lady Pink&#8230;....May 2010

*Home Study & Awaiting Panel *

Anjelissa&#8230;..&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;Started HS March 2010 (Panel planned for July 2010)
Cotsworld Girl&#8230;.&#8230;Panel Date on hold for a short while  
Lil-J&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;......Currently on HS
Shoe Queen&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;Panel Date planned for April 10
Mavis&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;...Started HS Jan 2009

*Approved at Panel  *

Losing my grip&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.Approved at Panel 7th Jan 2010
Moppit&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..&#8230;........Approved at Panel 9th Feb 2010
Chocolate Button.&#8230;..Approved at Panel 24th Feb 2010
Zoe4&#8230;&#8230;.&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..&#8230;.&#8230;.&#8230;Approved at Panel 1st April 2010

Please let me know (via pm, as I may not catch it in thread) if you'd like to be added, updated, deleted, or even just certain wording changed.

*Good Luck to all of us in 2010*​ 
​


----------



## galaxy girl

Hi congrats Zoe and Kittykat - great news!

I have heard from SS too - to start prep for fostering course in a couple of weeks!!! Yeahmedical booked for next week... so it feels like things are moving forward....


----------



## Rossi

Thank you for your messages   Hopefully our wait will be short   I keep wondering what our future child is doing now...

Zoe x


----------



## Cars

Zoe- Congrats, I often think that as well, are they in the world already and if they are just praying they are being looked after and loved until we get them!

Kitty, thats great, our prep course was great, it goes so fast!

CG- Your amazing xxxxx    

Well our SW is coming for her visit on the 15th of April, she seems really prepared which is great, she has asked to do our profiles, eco map, local authority checks, family trees,medicals and disclosures before she comes so we just did it all yesterday, what an amount of work!!! Went to library and got out about 10 books on adoption to help us with profiles! Also got the book an adoption diary off amazon, its a really great read, highly recommend it! Anyway we are really excited to get the homestudy underway and so happy that our sw seems very organised!

Love Cars


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi all 

Thank you for your messages, very much appreciated!!! 

Zoe -    - and  - what a feeling that must be!

Hopefully your wait won't be too long and you can have your little one home with you 

How many are you looking at having and what age?

Cars - when you say your profiles, what do you mean? Is this what they hold about you, like a file all about you, your lifestyle,what courses you have been on,if you have done any area booklets,eco maps and trees etc etc??

Thanks again all and Angelissa you deserve a medal doing all the updates so well cause it can't be easy with the jump up problem on here and finding time with all you have on!!

Happy easter to everyone and you never know, this time next year some of us might be making easter cakes and bonnits etc with little ones  xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Thank you kittykat, you're very sweet  

Yeh.....!!!!..... and you are very correct!...doing a post that long with the 'jump-up problem' is a nightmare!    I get there in the end though, just seconds before throwing my laptop out the window!  

Luv Anj x


----------



## kittykat1234

Hahahahahahah   yes i can imagine hahahahah, mine nearly goes flying on a daily basis when i am trying to write a fairly long post on here, so you do amazingly well!!

Hope you are having a good weekend xxx


----------



## blueytoo

Zoe - congratulations on being approved!

Kittykat - congratulations on being put forward to the prep groups!

Happy Easter everyone xx


----------



## sonia7

Happy Easter everyone.

Hope you all having a good weekend. Well my weekend so far has been a mixture of emotions - sadness, happiness and laughter , a year ago yesterday we lost our twins when I miscarried them, that year has gone by so quickly, yesterday we were looking after my friend's children and we were on the Wii Just Dance, I have never laughed so much watching my DH trying to copy the dance moves and also last night I found my Aunty and Cousin in America via ******** whom I have never met and I was chatting to them on chat and they have been trying to find us for ages but my family (mum and dad and brother) are not on ******** or bebo etc  - Only me on ******** and of course I have changed my surname when I got married. So they were over the moon when I got in touch with them, in a space of half an hour I spoke to my aunty, cousin, his wife and their son - felt so weird and my aunty was talking to her daughter in law on the telephone while I was chatting to my cousin (her son) on the computer - how weird that must have felt after all this time. My aunty had moved to America before I was born and didnt return back to UK

Anyway tommorrow I am going to Alton Towers.

Speak to you all soon - don't eat too much chocolate -   

Sonia xx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi sonia7  

Firstly a huge  , this must be a VERY hard time of year for you!!

I am glad you also had fun time though on the wii, never fails to amuse me when ever i have a go on one  

Well so far no chocolate for me! I am training for a half marathon and really don't wanna be gaining any extra weight that may make the training harder than it already is! 

Hope you are having a good easter xxx


----------



## Cars

Kitty kat- Our SW asked us to write a profile on ourselves and gave us headings such as education, earliest memories, religious views, childhood experience etc. Mine ended up being 11 pages long!!   My husbands was about 4 pages!! I think its to be out into form f.

Sonia7    Enjoy Alton Towers


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi Cars,

Thank you for that  , just trying to get a picture of whats going to happen so all info is greatly appreciated!!

xxx


----------



## Belliboo

hi hope everone has had a nice easter weekend,

sonia7 hope you enjoyed alton towers, I think we were on the same cycle buddies thread last year - spring babes

kittykat i'm impressed your doing a half marathon & well done on being moved onto prep groups  

cars sounds like you have a good social worker, 

zoe4 congratulations on being approved, hope your not kept waiting too ling to meet your little one/s

angelissa thanks for doing our updated list

hi to everyone else hope your all ok

sorry I've been awol for a bit but thought I had better pop back to say hello, as my prep groups are very soon its the big count down now 9 days can't wait !!


----------



## kittykat1234

Rachel78, 

Good luck with prep course!! I can't wait for mine either!! Xx


----------



## Maccer

Hello Ladies,

Zen - Sorry you are having such a rubbish time, I hope your next job is more rewarding, I know what you mean when it comes to dealing with dismissive managers, it can be so infuriating.  Glad to hear your prep course is going well, I hope all your checks go smoothly.  Keep us updated.

Kittykat - how is your little dog?  Did the treatment go well?  Have you heard from your SW yet?  Sorry if you have posted elsewhere just getting back up to date.

Nicola - hope you had a lovely easter at the seaside with your nephews, let us know about your info evening, when is it again?

BeeBee - How you doing?

Hope everyone is well and had a lovely easter weekend.  Still no news on my side, might contact them later today, I just wanted to drop by and say hi.

Mx


----------



## Maccer

Hello Ladies,

Sorry I haven't been on here for a while but I just wanted to pop on and say hi and a few personals:

Cotswold Girl -  I hope you get better soon and you are back on your adoption journey but for now take care of you.

Zoe and KittyKat  - Congratulations on being approved I hope your prep courses come around very quickly.

ljgibbins - Welcome to the board, I hope you have a smooth journey.

Cars - Good luck for the 15th, sounds like you are keeping busy though, I am sure everything will go perfectly.

Anjelissa - How is the volunteering going, have you settled in there?

sonia7 -  Hope Alton Towers was loads of fun, I love those rides did you go on the new one? Great news about getting in contact with your family, its always lovely to hear stories like that.

Rachel78 - Good luck on your prep course, let us know how it goes.

Hello to everyone else, hope everyone had a great long weekend, no news from me still waiting to hear back from the la's, I don't want to be too pushy and it is school holidays here so I know they are going to be short staffed as it is, debating wether to contact them this week or to leave it until next week, any feeback welcomed.

Take care,

Mx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi Maccer  

Thank you for the message, i can't wait for sept to come now!

I had to chase the LA up as i hadn't heard anything for over 2 weeks and they said i would hear within 2 and then 2 days later my letter arrived so i don't think there is any harm in calling them for an update, your choice though hun  

Let us know how you get on and fingers crossed they are in touch soon  

We may be on prep course at the same time if the next one for you is sept too  

xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Maccer - 

Daisy is not great  

She hasn't improved like we would have hoped after 5 sessions of radiotherapy so it's just a waiting game now to see how she gets on!

Thank you for asking xxx


----------



## Maccer

Kittykat, I am so sorry to hear about Daisy, it is so hard when they reach a certain age, I do hope a little miracle occurs and the tumor disappears,   .  I will definitely be thinking of her and keep sending those good vibes your way.

Well I have just gotten off the phone with one of the la's they wanted to fill in the blanks with regards to my DP's ex, apparently they had a meeting regarding our application this morning and once my answers to their questions had been passed onto her manager they would assign a sw'er and go from there, I have a feeling that we are in for another wait, thanks for your advice Kittykat, phoning them got us a step closer I think. I emailed the other la and our sw'er is on leave so we will wait till she gets back and then give her a call.

Take care,
Mx


----------



## kittykat1234

Thank you maccer, i am too hoping for a miracle, i just hope she stays stable and pain free with a reasonable quality of life as best it can be for as lomg as poss, but even that isn't looking great!! It's just so hard as she and george my other one are what i leave every morning and come home to every night!! Couldn't imagine loving a human more than i love them!!  

Anyway on a positive note, it's my b'day today so off out tonight with mom, dad and 2 lots of friends, both whom i'm god mother to their boys, for a nice meal  

Ohhh good, well done for calling them! I wonder what it was about your dp's partner that was holding things up   - anyway hopefully that's been sorted now and you can move a step closer  !!

Good luck and keep in touch and thank you for asking about daisy xxx


----------



## Maccer

[fly]HAPPY BIRTHDAY KITTYKAT[/fly]

Hope you have a wonderful meal with your family and friends.
I know what you mean about loving them soo much, they are such a big part of our lives a very loyal companion and don't tell my DP I said this but they don't cause as much mess as he does .
Have a good evening,

Mx


----------



## Tegan-Marie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KITTYKAT

Hope you have a good night


----------



## Tegan-Marie

Hello,

Just a quick post to say hope everyone is doing well and not too down in the dumps going back to work after the bank holiday!!

Nothing happening for me at all at the moment, have started hs but due to holidays have a gap now until june  , so just trying to keep busy! nice to catch up with all your news though. 

LJGibbons, welcome to the board. I'm also a singlie going through the process, I don't have a diary going but feel free to ask anything you want to know. Theres not much you can't learn on here i've found.  

Cars, well done on getting all that done. I have all that on my to-do list but not tackled it yet, think i might follow your example and set aside a specific day.

Zoe congrats on being approved, thats fantastic news.  

KittyKat congrats on getting approved for the course and happy birthday today.

Sonia: hope you had a fab time at Alton Towers

Anjelissa: hope the volunteering and visits are going well, keep the manicness up.  it will be worth it....

Anyway, bye for now

Tegan-Marie


----------



## ❣Audrey

Nicola - hope the weather stayed nice for you!

KittyKat - sorry to hear about your woof  hope she starts to improve soon.  Happy Birthday Chick xxx

C - I hope you are feeling better and that things are heading in a more positive direction xxx

Maccer -I really hope that you don't have to wait!!! xxx

As for me, I am back to full time at work at the moment so not getting as much time to surf tinterweb in the evenings!!  glad this thread wasn't too long for me to catch up on!  We have our info evening tomorrow night so looking forward to that!

Hope everyone else is ok xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Hey - sorry I haven't been about - I have had to work full time again for a bit ( although actually the reason is because another FF lady that I work with is having time off for her 2ww after IVF so I don't mind ! ).

I hope you are all ok xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Thank you everyone   xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hey,

Thanks guys for the b'day messages!

Had a lovely day and night, ate far too much though  - started with breakfast of crispy cream doghnuts and went down hill from then on  

Tegan-marie - Hellllllllllloooooooo, good to hear from you and no worries about the dalay, we can't all be as lucky as me and sit on the internet all day . Sorry to hear you have a bit of a gap now, least it's time to get straight at work and maybe start your extras, that what i am trying to do to pass the time till sept 

I'll pm you too 

Bee_bee Hey, how you doing? Bet you can't wait for your info meeting! I remember being soooo excited too but very nervous as it's such a huge thing to be doing alone it kinda freaked me out, but as soon as i got there i completely relaxed and got right into it  - good luck and let us know how you get on xxx

Everyone else hello and hope all your journies are going well


----------



## Rossi

Hi 
Thanks again for your messages  ... We have been approved to adopt 1 or 2 - 0 - 5 years. We have a meeting with our social worker in the next few weeks to discuss the next steps and have 2 training courses to go on too! So plenty to keep us busy - oh and decorating...

Zoe x


----------



## Cars

Congrats Zoe, one step closer to being a mummy xxxxxxxxxx Someone on here said when you are approved, its like getting a BFP!! Well done!!

Cars x


----------



## Moppit

Zoe4 - Huge congratulations on being approved. Its a great feeling isnt it!!! Nothing now standing between you and being a Mummy apart from a match and although that might take time its a question of when not if!!!

CG - So glad to hear from you and very relieved to hear taht all the treatment is going well. Have been thinking of you often. 

Mx


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone

Hope you are well.

Alton Towers did not go quite to plan, got there, went on 3 rides and then came off nemesis and nearly fainted, went so dizzy and nearly sick,  , spent all that entrance money too  , havent been right since monday, keep going light headed all the time. But apart from that it was a good day    

Congrats Zoe

Sonia xx


----------



## kittykat1234

Ohhhhh sonia7 what a shame but if it's any conselation, i did exactly the same when i went last year!! Luckily though i went on nemesis last so the day wasn't ruined!! It's hardly surprising we are left feeling that considering what the thing does  , i remember feeling VERY sick and i am usually fine on roller coasters!!

Right better get back to my google map i am doing of the area, loving it  

Taking my god daughter to baby massage tomorrow then her and her brother to music after at the the local toddler group to give their mum a break! They are 6 months and 2 so i'm gonna be busy, all good for me though!!  

xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

how is your woof today chick?  Hope he is ok xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Zoe - massive congratulations!!!

Sonia - hope you are feeling better soon xxx

Kittykat - tonight was fab although it was only us and one other couple!  Just made it all feel a bit more real!  I have filled out our EOI and it's in the postbox!  xxx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Hi all, I'm feeling a bit fed up so I thought I would spout off to you ladies.  Hope you don't mind.

As you may or may not know we are supposed to be on our prep course in May, so I phoned yesterday to find out the exact dates for my diary, and I was told that although references were ok, I would have to have a medical before going on the course. I have got rheumatoid athritis, and this was never hidden, it is well controlled and causes, as far as I'm aware, no problems. What really annoys me is, they have known this since our initial application in dec and so could have been dealt with much earlier. I have managed to book a medical at short notice with my GP for monday, but they have said they still can't guarantee our place incase it isn't processed in time. You would think 4 weeks would be long enough.   

I hope I am getting myself worked up unnecessarily, and our social worker can't see any reason why we wouldn't be accepted. I just can't understand why everything has to be rushed through when it could have been dealt with ages ago.

Sorry for the rant ladies, just could do without the added stress. 

Congrats to Zoe, by the way, oh and belated happy birthday to Kittykat.

Mrs Dibbles x


----------



## galaxy girl

I know what you mean Mrs D - I was meant to get my medical today and arrived to be told the Doc off sick! It has to be resheduled for week and a half time and my prep course due to start on Tuesday!

However am going to go ahead to prep course and work the medical in around it - should be OK i hope!

GG


----------



## ❣Audrey

Massive hugs Mrs Dibbles and Galaxy xxx


----------



## curvycat

Mrs Dribbles I understand why you are so upset as I would have felt the same but if this is at all reasuring please try to take it all in your stride.

I am 18months down the line now and have had many changes to plan and actually expect many more! 

The best thing as and when it is possible is to remain flexible and roll with the punches 

I am very sure that there will be no problems with your medical but the social workers are under a different agenda to u and will just want to check everything out before processing the application further

Delays are not a big deal in there world

BUT..................we will all get there in the end!! So please remember that an extra month or two is nothing in the scheme of things sending you some love and best wishes


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Thanks curvy cat. I'm dibbles though not dribbles!!!!!


----------



## curvycat

sorry I think it is me who is dribbling by now!


----------



## kittykat1234

Bee_bee - ok thank you, at the moment  , took her to the park y'day with my 6 month old goddaughter as i was babysitting all day to give their mum a break, and she seemed to really enjoy that as i don't take her that often as she is just not up to it  

Thank you for asking chic and hope all is good with you xxx


----------



## Trina

Hi everyone
I hope you dont mind me joining you I am about to start down this scary road of adoption. Im 33 and had three failed IVF attempts and been told about 3 weeks ago now that Donor eggs or adoption is our only option now. We chose Adoption for loads of reasons but mainly so we can offer a good home to a child in need and now excited to get started. We have our open evening in Plymouth on 20th May eek!
I look forward to getting to know you all.


----------



## ❣Audrey

Hope you're feeling better today xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Kitty - glad to hear she had a nice run out in the park!  Hope she is on the mend.  Everything's fine here - got our 10  year old niece for the weekend so busy busy busy!

Trina welcome to the thread!!!  xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Trina    

Welcome to this brilliant site!!

Hope you have a smooth journey and i am sure you will find this site as amazing as we all do!

Good luck and keep us posted on how you get on

Bee_bee - Yes she did really enjoy it but was shattered afterwards, bless her!

Oooohh i bet you had your work cut out with a 10 yr old!! Good practice for the future though 

xxx

xx


----------



## kittykat1234

Bee_bee glad the info meeting went well and all paper work is already in the post , it's a great feeling to get started!! I am just loving now getting all my extras done as it seems to be passing the time a treat!! 
Off out tonight for b'day drinks and a meal and apparently i have some pressies related to adoption!!! Makes them even more exciting as that's all i think about pretty much 

Mrs Dibbles - Firstly a big  - how annoying and frustrating!  I do wonder about them sometimes i really do!!
Everything crossed  that things don't slow down for you cause of this!

galaxy girl Fingers crossed everything can be worked around the re-sceduled medial!! Very frustrating , hope it all goes well!!  

Curvycat , how are things?
I have pm'd you, let me know what you think!! Thought of you straight away!! 

Hello to everyone else and hope you are all outside enjoying the rays! I am lay on a sun lounger, glass of rose one side and george my spaniel the other snoring his head off with lady gaga in the back ground (she is my favourite, ohh and beyonce)

xxx


----------



## sweets x

hiya peeps

Trina, welcome hunny   

BeeBee- Hows work, you got back into the swing of things 

Kitty- hows your doggie, hope you are ok.

Maccer, how you doing sweetie.

As for moi, had a brill day out last sunday, Kobi, my 3 yr old nephew is an adrenaline junkie  
Went on the rollercoaster at skegness and he didn't wanna get off   
Even my 2 yr old nephew enjoyed it. 

My Dh's bro asked us to be godparents to their little girl.
Am pleased to do it but when will we be proper parent.
Sorry for the downer post today, have had a few too many   and dh is out so sorry you get me rambling   

Have been ok lately and feeling more positive but today at work, my last customer (i'm a hairdresser) was about 6 months pregnant and stubbed her cig out at the door, don't wanna offend anyone about smoking  
Thought, each to their own etc... and tried to get on with it.
Then when i left work over the road is a pub, outside was a load of youngish peeps and one bloke had a young baby on his arm, dressed in just a short sleve baby grow, no hat on as its been sunny here and a cig hanging out his mouth and i just thought whats the justice in that.
Want me and dh to be a family so bad that when you see others 'seeming' to get it so easy.

Hope i haven't offended anyone, just needed a rant. Dh's fault for going out   

nicola x x x


----------



## Moppit

Hello lovely ladies

I'm up early for my last long (ish) run before the marathon in 2 weeks time. Let me know if any of you are from London and planning on watching the event as I'll let you know what I'll be wearing so you can look out for me 

Mrs Dibbles - How frustrating about the medical. As the others say, unfortunately you do come across these little hurdles and delays on the journey but I am absolutely sure it won't stand in the way of you being approved and I bet there is still a very strong chance that you will get on the Prep group as planned. Our medical did not take long to get to the SW. When you speak to your GP at the medical let them know that its urgent and why and hopefully they'll fill out the medical quickly so that the SW has the best chance of it being reviewed in time. 

Galaxy Girl - Again how frustrating.... really hope everything can be rearranged I am sure it will be able to.

Be Bee - Congratulations on starting everything very exciting!

Kittykat - Enjoy the sunshine!!!

No news from me as usual.... do wonder if I'll ever have any news to post again. 2 months since our panel and not even a mention of a child let alone a profile. I know I have to be patient but its sooooo hard!

Love to all you brave virgins

Moppit x


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

Mrs D - how frustrating   

Moppit - how long did they tell you might have to wait??

KittyKat - i like your style  

we had a letter saying it may take a couple of months to get allocated a SW... but we have arranged a meet up with all the people on the course in a couple of weeks, so that will be lovely to have a good catch up


----------



## ❣Audrey

Kitty - glad woof is on the mend!

Nicola - massive hugs and no need to apologise we all have days where we witness these things and think like that!  I hope you are feeling better today! xxx

We're feeling quite positive this weekend .  Made a list of all the things we want to get done in the house in preparation for our forever family and feeling happier about life in general!  Having my niece was fun - she is such an easily pleased child so is a pleasure to have!  Work has been ok - I beat budget this week which is a first in the 2 weeks I have been doing it lol so pleased with that and enjoying it xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Kitty - hope you had nice drinks!  What were the prezzies?  xxx

Moppit - sorry to hear you are feeling frustrated.  I hope that you get some news soon xxx

Pinky - hope you get a nice surprise and it doesn't take so long to be allocated a SW! xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Moppit - Hello , Ohhhhh not long now till the marathon!! Fair play to you!! I am still running too but do struggle to fit in when working full time and having 2 dogs! Yes i will watch it so post what you are wearing definately 
Lets hope a match comes along asap 

Pinky - Hiya, how you doing? That will be amazing to have a catch up with everyone! Let us know how that goes!

Bee_bee - Ohhh yes, the rose certainly went down well  and we had a great meal too, thank you 

Well my one friends bought me 2 scrap books to start putting all about me in and anything that happens from now on i can capture and put in this book, and of course pictures and anything else from the past too. They are peter rabbit ones and come with headings and coloured paper to mount the pics etc on, they are wicked and definately something i am gonna start doing!! Then another friend bought me a book on tips for every sort of problem you could possible face with a baby/toddler/older child! Eating,potty training,bed wetting,sleeping etc etc but i would have to check that some of the advice in there could be used on an adopted child, but then it's all gonna depend on littlies past etc. 
Meant sooooooooooo much that they bough me stuff like this as they know i am only early on and it means that i 1000000% know that they know i am 10000% committed to this , there was a lot of , but happy tears !

xxx


----------



## Belliboo

Hi everyone 

Moppit sound like the marathon training is going well good luck with the race!!!

pinky sounds like a nice idea to meet up with other adopters

kittkat hope you had a nice birthday, did you get any nice surprises

Mrs dibbles hope you get sorted for your prep groups in may 

We had a bit of a surprise arrival at the weekend as Dans nephew rang as his girlfriend parents wanted her to get rid of her dog she got from nephew for christmas so he rang to see if we wanted her. Shes 6 months old & a cross between bijon frise & a ****ztu mostly white with a few black patches. Her name is Dora so a I can now join the doggy gang, (not sure if girls dad will let her have him back, which is not looking likely, so for the moment shes ours). bit of a surprise not sure what the adoption team will say but if it comes to it she will have to be rehomed but shes very friendly & spent all day yesterday playing with my 4 year old nieces, & she seems to have settled in nicely already, just trying to introduce cat & dog together slowly!!! so theres our exciting news from the weekend, but we didnt have any wins on the national  

Hope everyone else had a lovely weekend too xxxx


----------



## Maccer

Hello Ladies,

Trina - Welcome, everyone here is so lovely and supportive, hope your journey is a smooth one.

BeeBee - I think the preparation is a really good idea, passes the time and keeps you focused on something, glad you had a lovely time with your niece.

KittyKat - hope you and Daisy are keeping well, thanks again for that info the other day, it is truly invaluable.

Nicola - We all have days like those, I remember standing outside a doctors surgery and two teenage girls were discussing the pros of having kids, their list began with the amount of benefits that they will receive and trapping the father of their child for 18 years, I think they struggle to see the commitment that comes with being a parent. Sorry if this offends anyone, I know not all teenage mothers are like this.

Well Ladies I finally have news, our initial meeting with a social worker (from one of the las that we have applied too) is booked for 6th May,   just under 4 weeks away, have lots to do before then, I am trying to preempt any questions that she might ask, so making a list and doing any other bits that I can, I don't want to come across too eager but I want her to know that we are very serious about this. Since this la doesn't have an info evening we are yet to meet any of the sw'ers so very much looking forward to it.

Hello to everyone else, hope to hear from you all soon.

Take care

Mx


----------



## Maccer

Hello all,

Rachel - What a lovely surprise, welcome to the doggy clan, I hope she brings you a lot of joy, I don't see any problems when it comes to the sw'er especially if Dora is friendly and comfortable around children.

KittyKat - Your friends sound lovely they must really think you are doing the right thing, its really lovely that you have that support. Enjoy filling the pages with your pictures and information.

Pinky - Hope you get allocated a sw'er soon, enjoy the meet up.

Moppit - Good luck for your Marathon, you are a very brave woman. I hope you get some news very soon.

Sonia 7 - Hope you feeling better?

Mrs Dibbles and Galaxy girl - I hope you get everything sorted in time, very frustrating for both of you.

We have just been given our date for our first meeting with a sw'er from one of the la's we applied to. Very excited and nervous, but at last we are making some progress on this journey even if its a little step.

Hello to everyone else, hope all is going well.
Mx


----------



## Moppit

Thanks Ladies.

Having a very down day today. Whilst everyone around me has their spirits lifted by the sunshine and the arrival of Spring for me I find its bittersweet. Everywhere I went at the weekend there were families playing out in the sunshine, people pushing buggies and swings. Doing all the things I long to do. Somehow I thought or I dreamt at least that finally this Spring/Summer that would be me. As the weeks go by I think I realise that it won't be. Its probably going to be another summer and another Autumn and probably another Christmas before I even get close....All my friends seem to have exciting things in their lives whether it be babies, new houses or holidays to plan but we seem stuck, stuck in this limbo where we can't plan anything but nothing happens either. I long to have something to look forward to but we can't spend money or use holiday incase we need it this year.... its so depressing. 

Its 3 years almost to the day since I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure and although I know for many that seems like a short time I just can't believe that 3 whole years on and we are no nearer to actually being parents. 

I know I have to stay positive and believe but do you sometimes have days where you just want to get off the roller coaster for a while and wallow. Everyone asks us endlessly about whether we have had any news and we reply positively saying no but we didnt expect to yet and we are fine about it. What a lie.... I know its only been 12 weeks but I think I allowed myself to believe that we would hear something quickly after panel. How stupid....

Sorry for the me post.... feeling really down today...

Mx


----------



## kittykat1234

Maccer - no problem at all, any time!!

Bet you are sooooooooooo excited about the meeting now it's booked, please post on here afterwards and let us know how it went!

xxx


----------



## Maccer

Hi Moppit,

  I didn't want to read and run, I have no advice as I have never been in your situation, I do hope you get a call soon and that something happens, have you spoken to your sw'er lately?  Sorry if I am stating the obvious, have they given you any indication of what is happening in the background?  Have you looked into contacting other surrounding la's to see if they have seen your profile?  Just a suggestion, some might say its too soon after approval.  Good luck again with your marathon, please let us know how it goes and keep us posted. 
Mx


----------



## kittykat1234

Rachel78 - hiya, yes had a lovely day thank you and some lovely pressies!! Especially my 2 adoption ones, they were extra special and something i didn't expect to get at this early stage . Hope all is good with you? Dora sounds sooooo lovely and i can't see there being a problem with the sw's as i have 2 dogs and they pose no problem so far and i have just been accepted on to prep training 

Maccer - yes they are and it really did touch me!! Lots of happy  when i realised what they had bought for me!! I have already started going through photo albums etc and picking things out that i think would be suitable so far, and will take lots of piccies now of everything i do!!

Moppit - Firstly   , i can only imagine what you are feeling and i just keep everything crossed that you hear something soon!!
The warmer weather always brings me mixed feelings too, it's not always rosy thoughts when ever the sun is out, i know what you mean! Big hugs and i really do hope you get some news soon! xxx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Well ladies , I thought I would let you know how my medical went, I didn't, they had mucked up my appointment time, written it in the wrong place in the doctors diary, so by the time I got there for the correct time the doctor had gone thinking I was a no show.        Feel so incredibly angry about it. I have booked in now to his next available appointment which is next monday. I just hope this gives them enough time to process it. I have let my social worker know the mix up and hopefully she will be able to chase the whole thing through for us so we don't miss the may course. Very angry and upset though


----------



## ❣Audrey

KittyKat - how lovely of your friends!!! xxx

Rachel - what a nice surprise arrival! Hope she fits in well with the cat xxx

Moppit - the whole IF journey is a rollercoaster no matter what path we choose - it's no wonder you're feeling down after all you have been through.  Sending you massive huggles xxx

Maccer - congratulations on your meeting date! xxx

Mrs Dibble - rarrrrrrrrr to your Dr's!!!  So sorry to hear they messed up your time chick - I really hope they get sorted soon xxx

No new in this house today.  Jake had to go to our friends Mum's funeral  was rather sad. xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Maccer - I think you should change your ticker to one for the meeting  !!!  

How is everyone else today? xxx


----------



## galaxy girl

Moppit - so sorry your feeling down. hoping and praying you hear something v soon!Am i right in thinking you could hear very suddenly about a possible match ?

Maccer - so glad you've heard something!

Mrs D - I too arrived for my medical on thursday to discover Dr on leave due to a death in family - feel bad for him - but was cross no one phoned to tell me! I rushed home (an hours journey) and cut short a visit with my granny to be there! I now have to cancel work appts to attend next monday.....However the good news is my fostering prep course begins next week!got the letter today - very excited.


----------



## Trina

Hi everyone thank you so much for the warm welcome to this scarey journey x

Beebee glad you had a good time with your neice they are great arent they! I have three nephews and a 13 year old neice who I try to see and steal for days out as often as possible hey its all practice ha ha!

Hi Kittykat I really hope your dog is ok. Its horrible isnt it my 7 yr old cat has just been diagnosed with kidney failure its heartbreaking!

Nicola1 Hi there sorry your feeling so down at the moment! I couldnt agree more with you on the rubbish parents thing it all seems so so harsh that these idiots can pop them out by the dozen and people like us struggle so much! I must admit its taken on a new view for me now Im looking at adoption before it used to make me sick now im looking at the children thinking I could take you home and look after you instead! We were asked to be my nephews godparents to and were really touched and pleased but its sooo painful at the same time so know what your going through!

Maccer eeek thats so close for you yay! Really good luck for the meeting its all so scare isnt it trying to work out what you will be asked and how important the first impression will be I tend to talk too much when nervous so worried Ill come across as a nutter lol!


----------



## Maccer

Morning All,

BeeBee - I think thats a good idea will do that in a bit.

Trina - I know exactly what you mean, I also turn into a rambling nutter when I get nervous, my DP on the other hand is so layed back he just takes things in his stride, wish I was like that, at least one of us might come across as normal on the day, ha ha.

How is everyone else doing?

Mx


----------



## Maccer

Thanks ladies for the congrats, its only a small step in this long journey but at least its a start.

Galaxy Girl - Congrats on the prep course, I am so thrilled for you. I hope you enjoy it.

Mrs Dibbles - What a total pain, I hope they process it in time and that your sw'er does chase it up, so sorry you are being messed about.

Moppit - How you doing? 

Hope everyone else is doing ok?

Mx


----------



## curvycat

feeling in need of some support today. My "big fur baby" was run over last night and I am totally devestated. I can not understand why things can be so hard. This is our second fur baby lost in less than 12months and she was my baby girl. Totally grumpy, stroppy and independant but she always new when I was sad and would silently support me thoughout all the pain of our infertility. 

I have had her for 5 yrs and she has been through so much with me

She was my family way before my hubby and I love her so much 

I can not believe she wont hiss, growl, lick, clean or purr at me again 

I know this could be seen as having nothing to do with adoption but I have always felt like she was the first child I adopted


----------



## popsi

curvycat,... oh no how horrid my heart bleeds for you darling, our fur babies really are as much our family as any thing... i can only imagine how you are feeling, its horrible ..      xxx

love to everyone else xxx


----------



## Trina

Hi Maccer
Lol my hubby is also so laid back Im thinking he'll come across as comatose and me the rambling nutter lol! Im relying on the cats coming across as the normal ones! This is not going to go well ha ha!


----------



## kittykat1234

Ohhhhhh Curvycat i am soooooooooooo terribly terribly sorry!!!!       , i am actually   now as i really can only imagine what pain you are in!!! All i can say is she had a wonderful life with you and dh and would have known how much you love/d her and thats all you can do for them!

Thinking of you xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

GG - fab news that your course starts!!!

Curvycat - so sorry to hear of your loss .  Massive huggles xxx

How is everyone else?

I am pretty low this evening.  Both my sisters are the typical accidental teen mums.  And I guess I knew in my heart there would be more baby news this year as their youngest are 3 in the summer.  But nothing prepared me for finding out via a ******** inbox message.  I feel so distraught by it.  I felt so much on a high with our decision to adopt, but this has just brought me crashing right down.  I feel like I shouldn't be upset, but I also feel so angry and hurt that after 10 years of pain, my own sister couldn't use her brain and have a bit of heart.  It also explains why I never heard from my Mum after our initial appointment - obviously now she is too busy cooing over her.

Sorry for the depressing post.  I just feel so low about it  xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Bee_bee- So sorry you are feeling so low    

That must be very hard finding out in a message! Sometimes people just don't think and without realising it end up really hurting the people closest to them!!

I am sure if she knew how much it had upset you she would be really sorry, but then we hope that in life these people don't mess up in the first place  

Big hugs and i hope it all gets sorted out xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Thanks Kitty Kat - I think I'm more upset that it's still upset me even though I know I am now on the road to being a Mummy!

How are you feeling today chick? xxx


----------



## wynnster

Hi All

Can I ask you to have a look at this and post (on that thread) your views 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=234240.0

Thankyou x


----------



## wynnster

Hi All

Can I ask you to have a look at this and post (on that thread) your views 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=234240.0

Thankyou x


----------



## kittykat1234

Have replied on the other post too wynnster but that sounds a good idea to me to merge them into one  . Hope all is good with you.

Bee_bee - yes i know what you mean but maybe if you had found out in a slightly different more sensitive way, it may not have hit you sooo hard. But yes exactly, like you say, it's going to be your turn sending messages ( although i am sure you will telling people face to face or voice to voice) that you are going to be a mummy and all this heart ache you have been through will be a thing of the past - just remember, he or she is out there waiting for you and when the time is right fot them to come into our lives, then that's the time we will meet our son or daughter, or both if i go mad in the mean time  

I read a lovely lovely saying today off a prospective adopter - " you didn't grow under my heart, you grew in it", how LOVELY is that  .

I also got this catalogue arrive at work today for children, it's got clothes, toys etc in. It had these material velcro type atlas's and velcro country names and animals to stick on it and they also do a map too!! It's completely child friendly and all bright colours  and fuzzy type material to allow velcro to stick to and very appealing to little ones. Because i am very open to a mixed heritage child and i know that one of the things i would do would be to have a map on little ones bedroom wall with stickers or flags on where he/she had come from and also have other things too around the house, and would want little one to feel he or she could play with the map or atlas and touch it and spend time with it and me explaining etc etc, i am in a real quandry of what to do! I am sooooo early days and probably won't get a mixed heritage child that i am thinking it would be a bit silly to buy the atlas as it's £200       and the map is £95, but i can't tell you how perfect they would be for this situation!!! I am just always scared that if i see something and don't get it, i'll never be able to when i need it  
I think the sensible thing to do is keep the website address and catalogue in my adoption chest - this has everything in it to do with the adoption, and then nearer the time, maybe look into it then.
I am good thank you Bee_bee, just finished my 6th book, the adoption diary and i would strongly reccomend it ( if i am allowed to do that  ) - sorry if i'm not, as it gives the best insight into the process and afterwards.

Hope things sort themselves out for you chicken xxxx


----------



## galaxy girl

Bee bee - I'm sorry to hear your feeling down - I have had many of those days.... I don't know if that pain will ever go away.... it might be worth telling your sisters the best way for you to hear this news - explaining that of course you will be happy for them - but sad for you?? this only works if you are close to them of course... I prefer to hear by telephone or text so i can cry away after saying congrats.....I heard about a close cousins preg by ******** message and actually preferred this to face to face!! Still sucked of course.Hope you feel better soon.

kitty kat -the books i ordered from amazon arrived today. am excited to get stuck in to them! I have the adoption diary on saved to buy later - so will have to go back and get it!

Curvy cat - so sorry to hear about your cat -


----------



## Maccer

Hello All,

Curvycat - I am so sorry to hear about your cat,  I hope you are OK hun?

BeeBee -    I think ******** has the power to take over the world at the moment, I find it has seriously limited some peoples way of communicating and can be used as a crutch at times, I think your sister was probably aware that her news might hurt you so wanted to tell you in a way where you didn't have to force your happiness for her and let you deal with it before you had to confront her, does that make any sense? Although I really don't think its right and I do think you need to tell her how you feel, I hope you feel better today chick, just think you are on the way to being a mom and like Kittykat has said, there is a lo waiting for you and your DH right now.  

KittyKat - I also came across that saying yesterday, had one of those 'aww' moments afterwards.  The Map and the atlas are very good ideas although I think you are right to put it the catalogue in your adoption chest for now, one thing I have found that if they are not stocking it when the time comes, someone will be.  If not you can blame me!    

Hello to everyone else, 

Take Care

Mx


----------



## kittykat1234

Galaxygirl - Ohhhh good, glad the books have come , i read the adoption diary in 3 nights , just couldn't put it down. I am going to read the prep course chapters again around the end aug as i start prep training sept so i would like to re-fresh myself before then. Happy reading! I am back to new families old scripts which is VERY hard going but i know i have to read it!

Maccer - yes exactly. If i put fabric atlas and map into google i imagine LOADS will come up 

xxx


----------



## Moppit

Dearest Virgins

I am so sorry so many of us are feeling down at the moment. There must be something in the air. It will pass and we will feel better. this journey is a roller coaster with sad and happy events all along the way. I'm feeling a little more up beat but the black cloud over my head is still lingering....

Curvy-Cat - I am so, so sorry to hear about your loss. The loss of any pet is very painful. They are dear friends and its totally understandable to feel very sad. I think its particularly poignant when you are going through what we have gone through. Pets become so much more and therefore when you lose them it hurts alot more. Take care of yourself. Take time to grieve about your little one.

Bee Bee - My heart goes out to you. Don't beat yourself up about feeling miserable on reading your sister's news. Be kind to yourself of course it is going to hurt and made worse by reading it on ********. I would talk to your sister, if you can, and explain that although you are happy for her it does hurt to hear the news in this way. Sadly although we are all now going down a brilliant path to be parents and it will happen I don't believe the pain of hearing about pregnancies will ever go away completely. Someone once described it to me as like a scab. Most of the time you arent aware of it but every now and then it gets knocked and bleeds a little. Its hard to accept that there will always be sadness but I think at the same time its important to be kind to yourself and not expect too much. It will get easier and you will be fulfilled but you are also always allowed to be sad.

Thats enough from me.

Mx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

I'm so sorry I'm not here more frequently, but I've just got to the end of a 7 day stint at work, and don't seem to have any time at all lately! Both myself & DH are totally frazzled atm as we have so much going on!  
We just had our 3rd HS visit this morning, and all seems to be on track though which is brilliant 

I just wanted to send a few hugs to a few people...

curvycat....I cannot tell you how sorry I am to hear your news   I recently lost 2 of my fur-babies within a year of each other (one was a grand old age of 21, and I'd had her since I was 16  )
They both had to sadly be put to sleep after long illnesses and I felt exactly like you, they were my babies. 
I just wanted to send you massive hugs hun and let you know you are in my thoughts  x

Moppit...I'm sorry you're feeling so down . I just wanted to tell you that although you don't know about them and haven't met them yet, you're little one/ones are in existence right now and when you do finally meet, and become their Forever Mummy, you will be glad of the wait, as a quicker match may have meant that you would never have met your particular little Miss/Mr (if that makes sense?).
I suppose what I'm trying to say is, I truly believe that certain big things in life are meant to be, and the wait you are experiencing now is only in order that the specific child who is destined to be part of your life finds his/her way to you. I'm sorry if this all sounds like utter ramblings, lol   but you will soon be looking back on this time from the other side of the fence and it will all be so worth it 

BeeBee...Lots of hugs for you too 
I HATE ******** with a passion!  I vowed never to go on there as I just didn't want to for many reasons, then temporarily gave in to peer pressure  It just confirmed my initial feelings on the matter, I hated it, and 'un-registered' myself within a very short time! I know it has its benefits and it's great to catch up with long lost friends etc etc, but lately I think it has a lot to answer for!
It's hard to come to terms with infertility and even harder if those closest to you are being so insensitive to how you feel, but I now feel as if this was the path that was meant for me. There is a little one/s out there who needs myself and DH as their Mummy and Daddy and for some reason they are destined to be with us. If I was able to become pregnant they would never have found their way to us. This is just how I look at it, as adoption now feels so natural and the way I was 'supposed' to become a Mummy. However painful it feels now for you, it wont always be. You wont be any less a Mummy with your adopted children than your Sisters are with their children, we've all just travelled a far longer and harder path to get there, that's all. I don't think anyone who hasn't personally experienced infertility first hand could ever understand the path we've travelled, but the end result is no different, and you WILL get there  As others have said, it WILL get easier and you WILL reach your dream of being a Mummy, it'll all be worth it. Please read what I said to Moppit also (above), as it relates to you too .
I think everyone of us can relate to how you are feeling right now, and you WILL get through it 

Hi to everyone else, hope you're all well 

Luv Anj x


----------



## Cars

Hi All,

Anj, totally agree with you, i feel 100% that i was supposed to be a mummy through adoption, it just feels it was meant to be!

Curvycat- I am really sorry to hear your sad news, how are you doing??  

Moppit- think the word rollercoaster applies to what we are going to go through emotionally, it will be so worth it in the end  

BeeBee- sorry you had to find out that way, i think for people who havent been thrugh what we have been through they really have no idea of how we feel   

Kittykat- read the adoption diary too, it was excellent!

Popsi-How have you and your wee family been doing? You give us hope!!!


Well we had our first homevisit today and our sw was so nice, felt reall relaxed and just so keen to get started!! Have appointments booked with her for the next few months so looking forward    to it  xxx

Love to everyone xxxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Kitty - I love the sound of the map! Definitely one for the chest though!!!  I've been hunting for bedroom stuff the last couple of days -we're rearranging the whole house and we can decorate now as we have the neices and nephew to stay so they will use the rooms for now!  Never knew how hard it was to find children's duvet covers etc that I would like haha!!

GG - how are you feeling today chick? xxx

Maccer - not long now till your course chick! xxx

Moppit - sorry to hear you are still feeling pooh  I really hope that you start to feel better soon.  Sending you some hugs in the mean time xxx

Anj - glad things are going well for you xxx

Cars  - how exciting!!! xxx

As for me , I feel ok today.  I'm not close to my sister - not close to either of them and to be honest not close to my mother either - as I can't have my own children she has never bothered to be close to me.  My sisters are a lot younger than me so I never expected to be close.  I had a good cry last night at how unfair life can be but today I feel excited about our journey and determined to concentrate on us in what is the happiest time we have had in a long time!

How long did people wait from sending off their EOI to having their first home visit?  I don't know whether to ring the SW tomorrow to see if they want to book an appointment or if they think we will be too eager! xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Curvycat - Just to say i am thinking about you  

Anjelissa - What BEAUTIFUL words and soooooooo right!! Hope all is well with you! Sounds like hs is going well - how exciting!  

Cars - Ohhhh great, sounds like everything is moving along nicely! I can't wait for my prep course in sept- just wish they would get in touch re dates etc, but then cause it's not till sept i guess they are gonna deal with the april and june people first.

Bee_bee - yes definately for the chest  , i am awful, as soon as i see something that i know would be really useful and amazing, i just have to have it  , but need to get a grip on this one cause i havn't got £200 to waste on something i may not need or that i am bound to be able to get cheaper!! I am being sooooooooooo extra careful with money now as all i think is " Ohhhh that could but lo some toys, or new clothes,shoes,wellies, a day out somewhere etc etc! 
Yes i can imagine it is hard, i think it's easier to find younger childrens stuff and babies than slightly older as they tend to want more grown up stuff and not Disney Princess or Bob the Builder  
Glad you are feeling better today too  . 

 to everyone else xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

I am determined not to have character bedding lol!  

Maybe you could make the atlas?  Then it would be extra special! xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Bee_bee - Now theres a thought  

Although with area booklets, google maps, eco maps ( i have finished this though), family trees,an all about me and my life book  and goodness knows what else, i think i maybe art and crafted out  

Would be extra special though and a lot cheaper   xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

I bet you would love doing it!  See how you feel when you have finished all the other stuff but I reckon it would be amazing! xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi all,

Hope you are all ok!

I have just had another b'day pressie off a very special friend whom i am godmummy to her daughter!

It's a story book to read to lo called "shaoey and Dot". It's about a bug who finds a new family  

I am jst sooooooooo touched and wanted to share the book with you all in case any of you wanted to add it to your list as i have a list of books to get for lo and this wasn't on it  

xxx


----------



## curvycat

thank u all for your wishes

I have gone a full day without tears so a good day today

My hubby picked her up yesterday from the kind couple who took her in after her accident and the vets are getting her ready for us to scatter her in the woods whe loved to hunt, play and mostly fight! 

We need to be resiliant and pick ourselves back up but it is so important to have those around you that understand so once again thank u


----------



## Belliboo

Hi thought I'd lost you all there  

curvy cat sorry to hear about your furbaby  ,

Just thought I'd pop onto to update you after our first 2 days of prep group which are going well so far, all of the social workers are lovely, there are 4 other couples on it with us, & we have chatted & done some exercises in groups & also as a couple but there is no role play thank goodness!!!  They have said that not all couple will procede to the next stage as there arent enough social workers to cover the work load so we may have to wait a few months to start the next stage, & this will be decided in may when they have a prioritisation meeting to discuss what children they currently have waiting for homes & each couple wishes so we will have to see.

Our new doggy has also been keeping us busy too, love taking her for walks, she is very good but doesnt like getting left & barks for a bit when we go out, we have been to explain to our nieghbours but still feel a bit guilty so  does anyone have any tips to stop her barking.

Hi to everyone else hope you all have a good weekend xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Kitty Kat - what a fab present!!!

Curvy - thinking of you!

Rachel - glad prep course is going well! xxx

How is everyone else this evening?  Had a mad busy day at work today but looking forward to the beginning of operation family home this weekend  xxx


----------



## Becky39

Hi Ladies,

Hope i can join you?

As u can see from my sig, i have just finished our 3 day prep course, and am now waiting for the home visits to start .... 

Galaxy Girl, dont know if u remember me from the Northern Ireland Chat, but i see your here too hun, will be great to catch up and go thru this together, is there anyone else from N.Ireland here too? Have u done your prep course yet

The process here is so much different from across the water ... am looking fwd to getting to know all u ladies ... 



xxx


----------



## galaxy girl

Hey Becky! good to hear from you again! I think there is at least one other NI girl on the boards  - Zen -who has a diary, and we are all from co. Armagh!

our fostering prep course begins on tuesday - for 6 weeks. I'm starting to worry about wether we should have gone straight to adoption - are we going down the right road with fostering? is it going to be too painfujl to let wee ones go again? Am reading real children real parents and it is freaking me out! Am worried about getting leave from work - or should I be going part time - term time - etc etc.....AAArrggghhh big decisions - hopefully prep course will help sort some of these issues out in my head!

Bee Bee - tell me about operation family home! I am dying to get started - should i think about getting a single bed instead of the double we currently have in child's room?? I know its very early days....


----------



## curvycat

wow galaxy girl so much going on and round and round in your head!  

one word of wisdom "if it means anything"   is to take your time and your decisions will make them selves

I wouldnt plan to change anything with your job, beds, deco as yet as you may have lots more time to decide what is right to do


----------



## Becky39

Hi Galaxy Girl,

6 weeks!!! Our prep course only lasted for 3 days!!!  (1 day per week) but ours was a preperation to adopt course. Maybe urs is differnt as its for fostering.

We would like to do the fostering too, but with my job it would be pretty hard to know if we are comming or going. I dont think i would be able to take emergency leave if we had a placement say Sunday night ... and how long that placement would go on for, no one knows. What we are prepared to do tho, is to foster on the assumption that the child we are going to foster, will be up for adoption. The SW's told us that if we did that, they would only place a child with us that WOULD deff be up for adoption, but that they havent had a freeing order for yet. Its all a bit complicated, but im sure once u do ur prep course it will all become clear. Remember to ask LOTS of questions, and dont be afraid to speak out, its what the course is all about. 

Im quite a bit annoyed actually. As we had our first visit from SW back in january (the initial visit, not the home study part) just to let us know how adoption takes place etc, and she told us the prep course doesnt start in our area until June ... but that there was a course comming up in march, but for the Newry area, an that if we would like to go ahead on that one, she would try and get us in. Of course we said yes, dont mind the trip to Newry, so it was all systems go. The course started and we met some lovely couples and learnet a lot about the adoption process. It opened our eyes to things we hadnt thought about, it was really good. So on the last day we were given forms and told to fill them out and send them back to our relavent department areas, with referees. copies of birth certs, driving licence etc and employer details ... this was for police and medical checks. These we were told could take up to 8 weeks, and then our home visits would start ) 

So we filled these out an i rung the SW who came to visit us back in January to ask for the address, to be sure i was sending it all to the right department (didnt want any copies of our personal info going to the wrong dept an all that!!)  Only to be told that, i shouldnt have been given the forms, that the Newry area does it differently to the Armagh/Dungannon area!! So i asked her what should i do now, and she said well theses no point in sending the medical and the police check forms back, because a SW needs to be at your house to verify your birth cert is true etc, and that she needs to sign off the form. So (i was really hoping here) when can u visit to sign off the form, i asked. That wasnt possible yet either, because if the medical checks go thru now, by the time u get to panel they would be out of date, so would have to be done again. 

By now i was getting a wee tad upset, so i asked her what happens now then, and she said - oh send in the forms anyway and it will get u on the waiting list for home visits!!! WHAT!!!!! Why the hell wasnt i already on the list i want to know. So i counted to 10 and asked, why wernt we already on the list having enquired about adoption back in november She said that u have to do the course befgore u can get on the list!!! (i dont belive this) so, i then asked (this was a long telephone conversation lol) how long after the form is in, do we have to wait for home visits to start! And she said  (wait for it, the big finalle) oh well, we are only just starting the home visits for couples who were on the OCTOBER prep course, so not until another 6 mths at least!!!!!   

Im gob smacked at this! They are crying out for adopters for these children, but yet they dont put u on the list when u first enquire, u have to wait 2 mths for an initial visit from a SW, then another 2 mths to do a 3 days course, and THEN get told only now u go on this list, and there is already a 6 mth wait!!!! So all in all, from initial enquirey about adoption (NOV) to starting home visits, takes 11mths ..... 11 mths!!!!!!!! I think this is obsurd!! By the time the home visits start and finish and then we have to get to panel, its gonna take from October 2010 - until at least October 2011, and then we have to wait for the right child (again on a list) to come along ... its all so dam frustrating!!!

So we have a pretty longggg wait until we even get the first home visit!!!

Is this the norm, or is this just Northern Bloody Ireland?


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone hope you are all well

Hi Becky,   just to let you know about our journey. We enquired about Adoption in April 2009, we went to the information meeting in June 2009, Had the initial visit in August 2009, We went on the 4 day prep course in February 2010 and currently we are awaiting a social worker to be allocated to us to begin homestudy. We have been asked to attend a call back meeting on May 6th for an update on everyone's progress (voluntary stuff etc) so I know it won't be April/May for a social worker. Maybe June 2010, which then means it has taken a year from information meeting to maybe home study begins. But I am sure we will know more when we go back for a callback session. We were told on the information meeting it can take up to 2 years. But me and DH have been through so much in the past with the fertility journey we can wait a little longer to be a mummy and daddy, at least this is a more positive step.
I know its very frustrating and upsetting but I keep thinking by Xmas 2011 we are hopefully going to be a mummy and daddy and have a fantastic and the best christmas ever. And even though it seems ages away I keep saying it will be next year. Something I couldn't say when we were on the fertility treatment journey.  

Keep  positive and with all the homework they give you for home study I have heard, the time will fly by   

Sonia x


----------



## curvycat

our journey started with an info meeting in jan to be allocated prep in nov so we jumped ship in may did prep in june started hs in aug, have one last visit left then hopefully panel in june. 

it is a long old path but as sonia has said at least u know there is a light at the end of the tunnel!


----------



## galaxy girl

Fostering must be a v different path Becky! so far we've inquired jan. home visit feb. prep course to start on tues - its five weeks - also a day a week! Our paperwork is in - medicals to happen monday and tuesday (one for me one for Dh).

I assume it all slows down following this - I think we were lucky a prep course was starting so soon. 

Thanks curvy cat for the advice - sometimes I feel I should have it all sorted out in my head- a proper plan re work worked out -but as you say its early days and i should just learn to breathe!! That is as far as I'm going to plan for the next wee while!


----------



## kittykat1234

Hey there Becky,

First of all a big  . That certainly does seem a long old wait! I think it varies from place to place to be honest. I know a couple who went through the same la as me and from start to finish was 18 months and that's being matched with a lo! But then they did their prep course 3 months after their first call where as mine is going to be 9 months after as the april and june course is full.

Keep on in there and it will all be worth it  

Galaxygirl - good luck with your course, let us know how you get on. When i enquired about fostering i was told it's a career as you need to be able to be at home with the kids and be available for the placements etc and also need to attendcourses etc all the time. I am friends with a couple who foster and have done for 12 yrs and he works and she doesn't. I was told i would not be allowed to foster if i worked, but then i am single. My la have no need for restbite or emergency placements either and even if they did i wouldn't be able to take the time off work at short notice and for a long time so that stopped all that straight away  

Let us know anyway what happens xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi all,

Hope you are all ok  

I had to have daisy put to sleep friday night! It was for the best as a lot of you know she has been through soooo much lately and she was just getting worse. It's still come as such a shock as her appointment was only a review appointment but she was sooooo thin and weak and i know it was the right decision.
All i have done is   all weekend. We buried her at my friends parents house as they have acres and acres of land- under an apple tree next to their golden retreiver which has made it all a lot easier as thats what i wanted for her!!

I know you all have enough on your plates and wasn't actually going to post this on here but then i thought i should as some of you ask me how she is and know i have been back and forth to cambridge etc for her radiotherapy, so i decided to.

Very very upset but she is at peace now xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Becky - massive hugs I know this journey is going to seem like it is taking forever at times so I am working on being very patient!

Galaxy Girl - how are you doing chick?  Well we started the operation family home project today !!  It involves moving our office in to a smaller room, moving our bedroom to the top floorl, splitting the bunkbeds in my nieces and nephews room into two single beds and basically making 2 children's rooms!  Then sorting out all our junk, paving the garden and building a wendy house that looks like a beach hut - not much then haha!!! I am taking photo's along the way so when children are older we can show them  xxx

CC - hope panel comes around quickly for you!

Sonia - hope you're ok xxx

Kitty - just massive massive hugs for you chick  xxx

Apart from a good day today I have had a horrid weekend with my little sister - telling me I am ruining her pregnancy by being upset that she told me via ******** and that it has nothing to do with what Jake and I have been through and that I should be grateful I am becoming an auntie again, despite the fact she has spent the last year telling Jake and I she could not live with her other half and was leaving him!

Was a tad stressful but I am trying to stay chilled about it xxx


----------



## curvycat

really really sorry kitty! 

you know I know how you feel and that my heart goes out to you

sending you all my love xx


----------



## Maccer

Hi All,

Kittykat -     I am so so so sorry for your loss, for what its worth I think you did the right thing and I love where you have buried her sounds the perfect place for her.  Hope you feel better soon.    

Galaxy Girl - Good luck for tomorrow, hope you have a great informative time.

Becky - Welcome to the board, I am shocked to hear you have such a long wait ahead, I do hope your journey gets better.

BeeBee - I am sorry you are going through a hard time with your sister, I hope you are feeling better today.

No news from me, just keeping busy, redecorating room by room at the moment, we also went out yesterday taking pictures of the local parks and beaches in our area to put in a presentation folder to show the sw'er. 

Hello to everyone else,

Take care
Mx


----------



## kittykat1234

Thank you everyone xxx


----------



## Tegan-Marie

Kittykat, so sorry to hear that, hope you are ok.


----------



## sonia7

Kitty    , I was so tearful when we had to put our cat to sleep on bonfire night 2008, she had lung cancer and went extremely thin and weak. Her ashes are now in a plant pot and the plant pot is on our baby daughter's grave. So hopefully Bethany and our lost babies and minnie our cat are playing together.   

Sonia xx


----------



## kittykat1234

Tegan-marie - thank you chic, i am so so but i know it's just going to take time. I appreciate your message.

Sonia - thank you  , thats a really nice way of looking at what they are doing now and i am sure they are all looking down on us and watching us keeping us safe! I know it's 1000% for the best but god is it hard!!

On a positive note though, a couple i got friendly with at the auk course i went on a couple of months ago went to linking panel today and it was a unanimous YES!!!! He is 18 months old and they start intro's on 3.5.10. I am sooooo happy for them and it's really made me smile today  

xxx


----------



## curvycat

well we have now been told panel wont be till July! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! 

Apparently our sw hasnt enough time to fill in the report! 

Never mind a few more weeks is no big deal! 

Gone from May to June now July it had better not be moved to august or there will be trouble


----------



## galaxy girl

Curvycat how frustrating!!! 

Kitty - I'm so sorry to hear about your cat...my wee dog is my world so know how gutted you must be...

Bee Bee - yeah on home stuff, sorry about the sister situation, sounds as if there is no way to get through to her! 

Well i had my medical today - it was a lot more detailed than i thought!! took forever too, felt sorry for v nice doc!


----------



## Cars

Kitty-Sorry to hear about your cat   

Galaxy Girl- I know the medical is a lot more detailed I was      

Well our SW seems to be on the ball, another email today with loads of stuff to do so happy with that    Only thing is we are struggling with getting police checks from australia and portugal but we will get there!

Hello to everyone x


----------



## Becky39

Hi Ladies,

Thank u all so much for ur welcomes  

It will prob take me a while to get to know u all and at what stage ur all at, so please try an bear with me ...

Galaxy Girl - what was so 'detailed' ... u have me very curious now lol, and how long did it take. I just thought it was blood pressure, weight etc ... im begining to worry now and imagining all sorts lol

Kitty - Im so sorry to hear about ur loss, some people dont realise how close we become to our pets, they really are like wee members of the family and its heartbreaking when u lose them. We have 2 springer spaniels ... one is 5 and the other one is 7mths old, they are father and daughter and are both mental lol. 

CurvyCat - Ive heard that sometimes the panel can take ages and keep getting postponed, lets hope its the last time they postpone it for you and soon enuff you will be passed and matched with your son or daughter   

Hello to everyone else, please bear with me as i get to know u all ... i have a funny feeling tis gonna be a long long journey for us so am gonna need the company lol ...

Xxxx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps

Becky- welcome sweetie

kitty- sorry abouit your cat hun   How nice for your friend   Will be all ours turns soon  

curvycat-   frustrating for you  

Cars- hope police checks get sorted, can't wait to get things started myself and get doing stuff.

BeeBee- how are you, what you doing to pass time??

Galaxygirl- what kinda things do they do at the medical, nothing like running on treadmills etc... is it??
I'm so unfit since my op's and ivf its ridiculous   

Maccer- Hi sweetie, good idea about the photo's. Are you putting them in a scrap book. Wanna get started doing stuff now but to be honest don't know where to start, any advice   

Hope everyone else is ok.

Had gyny appointment today, don't think i'll have to have another op    
They have put me on the contraceptive pill    how ironic, to treat endo. 
Have got a few more routes to try if that doesn't work before having to have surgery.
Been quite an emotional day, but was made better by dh taking me shopping and spoiling me, bless him 

Off to bed as am knackered, take care

Will now try and log on more too   

nicola x x


----------



## Maccer

Hi All,

Galaxy Girl - eeek now you have got me worried, I don't have any health conditions but I am still concerned, I can be a little paranoid when it comes to things like this.  Happy you finally had it done though.

Curvycat - sorry to hear about the postponement, hope this is the final change though.

Kitty - very happy for your friends, its always lovely to hear stories like that.

Becky - we also have two springers (brothers), just coming up to 2 years in June they drive me nuts sometimes but wouldn't change them for the world, I keep getting told that they won't calm down until VERY later on in life, but at least they keep us active.

Nicola -      Very good news chicky, so so happy for you, Kittykat and a few others have helped me with a lot of this, if you want I will pm you my email address or you can pm me yours and I can send you a few things I have been working on, what I started on was looking at google and seeing what local things we have in our area for children to do, so football clubs, parks, art and music centres, as well as schools and nurseries, I have plotted these on a map and have taken pictures of various places eg. we have a beach 10 mins walk from our house so took pictures of that, I didn't take pictures of parks as I am sure I would look very suspicious taking pictures of children when I don't have any of my own playing there, so I have used google earth for these.  What I plan to do is stick the pictures on a bit of card and put them in a presentation folder with the address and details above it, so I hope this will show that there is a lot to do around our local area.  I am just listing the schools around the area and also printing off the ofsted reports, as to show what rating they get as well as what areas they can help a child develop ie if they can handle children with certain needs.  I don't know how much to show the sw'er when she comes for the initial visit but I am hoping to show her certain bits to make her see that we have thought very seriously about adoption. I have also started on my eco-map thanks to a certain person on here I got a really good one to work off, so let me know if you need any other info.  I think there is a post on here that does have a lot of ideas to start off with, I will see if I can find it and pm it to you.

Hello to everyone else,  Hope the sun is shining wherever you are.

Mx


----------



## Boggy

Hi Ladies

As you are on the subject of doing homework bits, I thought I'd re-post the link to an earlier thread of ideas.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=229493.0

Glad you hear you are all working hard! 

Bx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi all,

Sorry not posting much at the moment, just a bit tied up at work.

Thank you all for your kind messages about daisy, she is a dog though not a cat  

Hope you are all well xxx


----------



## galaxy girl

Whops sorry Kitty ! Daisy is a lovely name for a dog ..... 

Also sorry to freak people out!
Medical was not bad - just detailed - eg. they didn't just do weight and height but also waist and thigh circumference!! I was trying to breathe in as much as possible! There was a also a urine sample taken, eye check, heart and lung check etc etc etc... had to list all investigations and consultants ever had - wierdly quite long for me! i also don't have reaction reflexs in my arm! did have them in my legs though - you know the ones where your arm is supposed to jerk if your elbow is hit?! no running on a treadmel though! i had just expected a chat and a weigh in!


----------



## ❣Audrey

Curvycat - how frustrating for you chick - sending you massive huggles! xxx

Galaxy Girl - I think you're right about my sister - I told my parents what had happened ( although I don't want their involvement as we're all adults now) just so they were aware and they agree she is being horrid and immature.  Other than that I just plan to keep my distance and concentrate on what is now the exciting bit for Jake and I after a long and painful journey so far!  Glad your medical is all done now chick!  Sounds like it took a while!!! xxx

Cars - glad your social worker is on the ball!!  Hope those police checks come through real soon! xxx

Becky - any news on home visits?  Hope you're not waiting too long xxx

Nicola - yay that you don't have to have another op chick!  Bless your dh!!!  To pass time I am currently working full time ( I have taken over from another FF lady I work with who has just fallen pregnant from IVF - it's very strange how we met because I suffered burns to my face, a few months later I was looking for part time work and there was a job going where she worked, and now she has achieved her dream, her job being empty helps me fill up the time while waiting to adopt!)  and we're just trying to keep as busy as possible!

Maccer - wow!!!  You're so organised!! I have no idea where to start!!!  Not long now chick! xxx

Boggy - thank you for the link - I will be checking that out shortly! xxx

Kitty - I hope work untie you soon! xxx

As for me......we got our initial visit date today!!!  6th May!!!!  I can't believe how quick it is!!!  Having a minor panic about what to do to be ready etc!  I have no clue whatsoever HELLLPPPP!!!!

xxx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Hi all, Galaxy Girl, glad to hear your medical wasn't too scary.

I had mine on monday and was really worried about it as I had been told it needed to be approved before we could do our prep course as I have got rheumatoid arthritis, not a major problem for me as it is well controlled, but seems to freak every one else out!   My GP was great though and said he really didn't think there would be a problem with us adopting. I have since spoken to my social worker and we are now able to do our prep course in May!!!!!!     So pleased as I have been really working myself up over it. Celebrated today by going to the seaside in Bournmouth with hubby.  Both V tired now so early night I think before work tommorrow.

Kittycat, Really sorry to hear about your dog.   

Cars, hope your police checks are done chased up soon.

Boggy, wow just had a look at your link. Its amazing thank you so much.

Maccer, your so organised as well, think I better pull my finger out and start thinking about collecting bits and pieces myself.

Right going to get in the bath now and watch a bit of TV in my jammies!!  

Speak soon, Mrs Dibbles


----------



## galaxy girl

Mrs.D - glad medical went well - and you got it finally!! Also YEAH on prep course!

Beebee - great on getting date for visit!

Well our first prep session was last night. It went well - was a bit concerned though that everyone was a good bit older than us and most had kids..... will have to see how the next 4 weeks go!


----------



## minmouse

Hello All,

Just popping on briefly.  Ive been AWOL for a good few wks - oops sorry.  I had a right panic when I couldnt find 'Adoption Virgins' thread - you've had a name change!  

Anyways, I went to NewZealand for a few weeks hols & got back to my home PC having died, so coud only access net at work which is difficult so not had a chance to get on.

NOt much news my end - we've returned the Initial Application and awaiting a call from S/w for initial visit - still hoping to be on that June prep. 

So i have pages of updates to catch up on, so Ill wish you all well while I go have a read on your news.  
M
x


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

Mini - hope you get some news on the 1st visit soon  

GG - quite surprised you say most had kids on your group - must just be one of those things (also with the age thing too!!)

Mrs D - glad the docs on side  

Bee Bee - oohhh not long to go  

I'm getting a bit feb up waiting - so i think i will start a file of info i can build up - Boggy thanks for the tips


----------



## Becky39

Hi Ladies 

Sorry, i didnt realise there was all these posts here - i thought i would get a reminder in my inbox but dont seem to have it 

Anyway, nothing at all to report. No news on the homes visits Bee Bee, i dont think there will be for a long long time yet 

I was looking on the BAAF site the other day, at the satistics of the amt of children who are adopted in the UK ... in England and Wales the figures for each year (2002 - 2007) range from 4,000 - 6,000 children per year.

In Northern Ireland they range from (wait for it) 140-162 *per year!!!!!* I cannot belive the difference ... I have a funny feeling this is going to be the longest wait of my life ....


----------



## katie c

Becky39 said:


> I was looking on the BAAF site the other day, at the satistics of the amt of children who are adopted in the UK ... in England and Wales the figures for each year (2002 - 2007) range from 4,000 - 6,000 children per year.
> 
> In Northern Ireland they range from (wait for it) 140-162 *per year!!!!!* I cannot belive the difference ... I have a funny feeling this is going to be the longest wait of my life ....


becky, the population of engand and wales is about 54 million (89% of the UK)

the population of NI is only about 2 million (<3% of the UK)

so if you do a few sums it's only about a 0.00 something percent difference


----------



## Becky39

Lol, i know that   im actually from Wales  

Northern Ireland is a very small place ... someone knows someone who knows tht someone u know lol ....im put off by  the adopters who came to our 3 day preperation course to talk to us, one was waiting for 3 years, and the other one for 5 ... after getting to panel   I'll be 45 in 3 years time, that means that the age gap drops too ... but i suppose there nothing i can do about it, just have to wait and be patient ... but it was never my vertue LOL  
xxx


----------



## katie c

Becky39 said:


> im put off by the adopters who came to our 3 day preperation course to talk to us, one was waiting for 3 years, and the other one for 5 ... after getting to panel


gosh that is a long wait 

but i guess it depends on their criterea and what ages they were after and stuff. don't give up hope yet


----------



## ❣Audrey

It's so quiet on here! Hope everyone is ok xxx


----------



## Moppit

Morning Lovely Ladies

Just a quick post to say I completed the London Marathon yesterday in 4 hrs 45 minutes. Incredibly hard and painful and today I am hobbling around like a 90 year old but very proud! I was running for an adoption charity - The Post Adoption Centre and have raised almost £4500 which is fantastic. Have to say I kept thinking on my way round how I was running for my children whereever they might be and that kept me going at the low points!

Hope you are all well and enjoyed the weekend!

Moppit x


----------



## sonia7

well done Moppit on the london marathon and raising so much money  

Have you had any news since being approved at the panel

Sonia xx


----------



## Cotswold Girl

Mrs Dibbles - well done on your medical and confirmation that you're ok to go on to the next stage. Good luck for the rest of the process.    

Moppit - well done on the Marathon and all that money you've raised. 

CG xx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Thanks CG Hope yr chemo is going ok  

Well done moppit on completing the London Marathon. Amazing, i couldn't even run down the road!!!!


----------



## ❣Audrey

Moppit - fantastic stuff - well done xxx

CG - thinking of you xxx


----------



## sweets x

Just a quickie as on mob and can't read back. Hope everyone is ok. Moppit, well done Hunny. Hope everyone is getting to enjoy some sun while it lasts. Brought my journal and went to put in it when we 1st rang la but couldn't remember date lol. Will have to look back on here won't i. Take care. Nicola x x


----------



## Cars

Moppit, Thats brilliant! You must be very proud of yourself!! I'd love to do something like that but am too lazy!! Love that you did it for adoption, youre an inspiration!

Cotswold Girl- sending you loads of       and     

Becky39- That does seem long!!!   

Well we had our second homestudy yesterday, went brilliant but anyone left shattered after it?? All looking really positive, great SW which helps!! Seems to be flying by!!

Love to everyone xxx


----------



## minmouse

Evening All,

Im fuming so 'scuse me while I rant!   Response to formal Application was - they would be happy to progress us in principle, BUT.... they want to wait until we've completed the extension to the house (extra bedroom), because timescales can slip & building work is stressfull. Grrrrrrrr   

I know from all the experiences on here ,that the approval process can take at least 9mths, and then the wait for matching, so surely the approval process could start in tandem with the building work?  So gutted not to be on the June prep course   I suppose I should count my blessing that it's not an outright rejection, but the waiting in this process is SO hard.  

I guess there's not much we can do but crack on with the works asap, and hope for the Sept session?  Sorry to rant, and I really do appreciate that people have far worse setbacks to deal with, and you just have to roll with the punches.

Now then ladies,

- A fantastic well done to Moppitt on the fundraising marathon!  

- CG - good to see you posting and hope things are goign ok for you?  

- Cars - glad u have a great SW - that must make life much easier  

- To all you other Prospectives? (its that what we are now? )  congratulations on all the great progress, and keep posting all your inspirational stories.  Im keeping positive - we will all get there in the end  

M
x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Nicola - hope you find the date from here easily! xxx

Cars - congrats on the 2nd home study chick!  I can imagine it must be draining - I have to admit that now we have our initial social worker visit next week, all sorts of thoughts are starting to worry me! xxx

Minmouse - how utterly frustrating for you chick  - I am not all that wise so have no great words of wisdom and shall instead just send lots of hugs! xxx

How is everyone else doing?  We are forging ahead with operation family home - 3 rooms done now and lots of photo's take in the process!  xxx


----------



## minmouse

Aww, thanks for hugs Bee-bee    Share some pics of operation family home with us?!

It's quiet on here just recently - anyone any updates?

M
x


----------



## ❣Audrey

I'll PM you the link to our website we have set up for close family and friends - there is a link on there to our photo album  xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Sorry for not being here much lately 
I just don't seem to get a spare minute!
I work quite difficult shift times, and alongside the HS and volunteering at the Nursery, there just doesn't seem anough time in the day! 

Just wanted to pop in and say hi to you all 

Cars....in answer to your question, YEP, totally emotionally drained after each session!
Our SW is absolutely lovely, we are very lucky. but our sessions have been between 3-5 hours long, and we always feel exhausted! My one this week was before a late shift at work, and I WONT do that again as I just felt so stressed at work! I think because I had no time to 'wind down and 'evaluate' so to speak.
We're on visit 6 now, and have found it all to be fine and better than we imagined, but yes you do feel very drained after them. x

Minmouse...sorry to hear about your setback  I know they don't like any child to be placed when you have major DIY planned, but hopefully they will come to some compromise re/letting you get it all done during the assessment  x

Moppit....Massive Congratulations on running the London Marathon!  
WOW! what an achievement! You must be so proud! and very rightly so!  x

Sorry for only a few personals, but only have time to read back a little way.
Hi to everyone else 

We have a provisional date of 7th July for Panel, but not confirmed as yet. 
It's feeling like we are nearing the 'home stretch' of the assessment though 

Catch you all soon,

Luv Anj x


----------



## tamelia

Hello, hope you are all well.  

Well things are beginning to start for us.  We went on an information evening at the end of March and we now have a date for an initial home visit.  Can any of you lovely people possibly give me any info or advice on what i can expect?  Is it just a bit of a general chat for them to get a once over to see how far up the priority list they can place you for their next prep courses?

Thanks
x


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

I had a catch up with my prep group last week - it was really lovely to see everyone and hear how people are getting on with the HS for those that have started  

Tamelia - not sure about the prioritising thing, but our IHV was and hour and half and generaly covered most subjects like family, support network etc.  Good luck   

Mini -   what a bummer


----------



## paula37

Hi there ladies.

Can i join in?

Me and my DH have started homestudy which ends in July and social worker has said she will give us a date for pannel in next 2 or 3 visits.  So far all is going ok and our social worker is nice.  Am getting excited just want to be a mummy.

Good luck to all of you on your journeys.

xx


----------



## minmouse

Evening All,

Welcome to Paula37 - you're in the right place  

Tamelia, I recall one of the lovely ladies did a fantastic cover of the IHV, Ill trawl back & try find it 

Anj - congrats - you are steamin ahead & great to have a panel date  

Shame about the bank hol weather, but I managed a BBQ today despite the hailstones!   Hope you all had a good w/e 

Mini
x


----------



## Cars

Welcome paula37- everyone here is fantastic! we all try and support each other and we are all on the same journey so its great to be able to voice your excitement and concerns, hows your homestudy going We have just started ours as well and are lucky to have a great sw! It seems to be going quite smoothly but am aware that the hardest part is after being approved and waiting!! The brilliant thing about this thread is we get to hear the great things that happen and when people are matched, it gives us all hope!!!

Love to everyone!!


----------



## Belliboo

just popping on to say hi to everyone 7 welcome to Paula , hope your all ok, no news from me just waiting to hear if we have been prioritsed to start the next steps of our adoption journey we were told we would hear sometime in may so just keeping our fingers crossed  xxxxx


----------



## Moppit

Morning Lovely Ladies

Love the new look site!

Paula37 - Welcome to the boards! You will find it a great place to get support and share your thoughts and feelings. I am sure we all look forward to following your journey!

Tamelia - Well done on getting a date for your initial visit. This is exciting as it really is the start of the journey and at the end of that journey you will be a Mummy! In terms of what to expect from the initial visit I think it does vary a bit from LA to LA or agency to agency but my experience was as follows. 2 social workers came to our house to talk to us. They were with us for about an hour and a half and asked us quite a few questions around our motivation for adoption, what we felt we had to offer as adoptive parents, what our support network is like, what our area has to offer and why we had come to the decision to adopt. We didnt go into nearly as much detail as when asked these questions later as part of the home study but I would definately think/brainstorm before teh meeting around your motivations for adoption and all that you have to offer as a parent. They also asked us about our expectations on age and issues that an adopted child might face. You are not expected to know a huge amount but it could be useful if you have time to read a few articles on the web or a book so you can come across as informed. They really like to know that you understand the implications of adoption in today's world and have thought through what you might or might not be able to take on. In terms of age they will want to know that you are being realistic ie if you say new born they are going to be concerned as there are very few newborns up for adoption. As well as asking us questions they gave us the opportunity to ask them questions about the process etc. Although it probably doesnt sound it the meeting was relatively relaxed and I didnt feel as though they were trying to catch us out. I was very nervous but they told me not to be. After the interview they asked to see round the house. I can remember agnoising over this first meeting so I completely understand why you would be nervous, I can remember spending hours deciding what biscuits to get and tidying the house but looking back on it I don't think any of this mattered. The fact that they are coming to do an initial visit already means they think you are likely to be people they want to work with, its really just reassuring themselves that you are and getting to know you a bit better. After the initial interview we waited a week to hear if we had been accepted. This timing was based around when their team meeting was as they needed to discuss all applicants and make a decision. 

Hope this helps and love to everyone else.

Mx


----------



## tamelia

Thank you Pinky for your reply and thanks so much Cars for your PM, MinMouse that would be great if you find that post.  
Moppit all your information provided is really helpful too, I think i have quite a fair idea of what to expect now, just getting excited about it.  I already have a 3 1/2 year old daughter we blessed with through so have already given thought to how we aim to be as Parents.  I've just started reading 'what to expect when you're adopting' by Dr Ian Palmer which so far looks interesting.  
We go on holiday at the end of May and have our home visit just before so really hope we return to good news.  I know their next prep groups are in October so praying we are accepted to go on those.

Hi Paula, Rachel, Bee Bee, Anjelissa and everyone else.

Thanks
Tam x


----------



## Maccer

Hello all,

Sorry I haven't been on here for a while, life is really busy at the moment.  We had our initial visit today and it was good but a bit nervewracking, she was very nice and did look around but all was cleaned on the weekend (thank goodness).  We now have our crb checks and medicals to go through, so all on track.  Very glad we have taken our first step though.  I want to just say thanks to all of you, you  have all been so helpful when it has come to providing advice and information.  So thanks all   

Hello to all the newbies, welcome, this board is invaluable, I hope your journeys go smoothly.  
Sorry no personals, I hope you are all well?

Mx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Tamelia - we had our initial home visit today.  It ended up being almost 4 hours long! Mind you I have a very complicated family!  There was a list of 20 questions she asked us - from general information to our thoughts on what type of children we would like to adopt.  We are adopting through a VA and there is no prioritising in who goes on courses when, it just depends on when they are and when the report from the home visit goes to them.

Pinky - how are things going with you? xxx

Paula - I hope you have a date for panel very soon! How exciting! xxx

Mini - how are you doing chick? xxx

Cars - how are you? xxx

Rachel - I hope you hear something soon! xxx

Moppit - how are you feeling after your run? xxx

Maccer - yay!!!  Fantastic stuff!!  Here's hoping you get some more good news soon! xxx

How is everyone else doing?  We also had our initial home visit today!  It lasted 4 hours which having read your posts above seems like a really long time! xxx


----------



## minmouse

Evening All,

Tamelia - I remember!it was Moppit who did such a grand job on the IHV and she's already posted   

Congrats to Bee-Bee & Maccer on also surving your IHV's, one step at a time, we'll get there   

I got my amazon order today with 'Adoption Diary', so plenty of reading for the weekend   
Have a good one all
Min
x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Min - how are you finding the adoption diary?  I don't know if it was because i had PMT that week or what but I actually found the woman quite annoying - feel bad for saying it but I think it was also because she didn't want to quit smoking and also seemed ill armed with information and I can't imagine going in to this journey with out reading everything in sight xxx

I am currently almost finished on Secret Thoughts of An Adoptive Mother and half way through what to expect when you're adopting xxx


----------



## Cars

Hi All

Bee Bee- Think your right about the adoption diary   Found what to expect when you are adopting really good   Glad your homevisit went well, any idea roughly when u get to do prep group? Its good that the ball is rolling!

Well we have our next hs on Thursday, so looking forward to it, our sw is really nice and very on the ball! Think most of our paperwork is done tg, will let you know how it goes thursday, got my final exam at uni on friday and then i am free!(been doing a degree part time for last four years) Cant wait, think it will be champers for me Friday night!!

Hope everyones having a great weekend


----------



## ❣Audrey

Cars - what to expect is fantastic isn't it!!  Hubby has nearly finished approaching fatherhood and is about to start The Primal Wound.  Hopefully all being well prep group should start first weekend in June - I am loathe to get a ticker should anything go wrong but maybe I should just go for it and start to enjoy this more!  Having a pants week with it though - had some real negativity especially from my parents and a friend and it's really hit me and well just pooh really! xxx

Glad your social worker is on the ball - that must help lots with feeling like you're getting somewhere!  Good luck for friday chick1  xxx


----------



## Cars

Bee Bee- You just stay strong, if anyones being negative I just think they'll totally change their mind when we have a little one and their wanting a wee hold! Its a long journey but the stories on here are inspirational and just keeping thinking you are going to be a mummy at the end of this journey!!!

Could i ask you a wee favour, I would love to put a ticker on but I dont know how, have tried before and failed!! Could you help??


----------



## ❣Audrey

Of course chick!!!  Lilypie seem to have nice adoption ones - basically create your ticker on there and then copy the UBB code.  Then go to your profile and add it to the signature part and save - shout me if you need help! xxx

The stories on here certainly keep me going xxx


----------



## frazermic

Hi Ladies

I have just started the adoption process, After a few failed attempts of treatment. Sent my enquiry form off and got a letter and phone call within 2 weeks. I wasnt in for the phone call, so they are ringing tomorrow, What do they ask?
I so do not know what to expect. 

I have been reading though all posts, so Thankyou


----------



## ❣Audrey

Hi Frazermic and welcome!

They will only ask a few basic questions on the first phonecall - what kind of house do you have, what is your marital status, what tx and when did you last have it, do you have pets, children already...those kind of questions and not in great detail either.  

hope it goes well xxx


----------



## katie c

good luck frazer   

we haven't got as far as 'the phone call' yet. is the enquiry form the same thing as the registration of interest to adopt, or more general? if it's just for a chat for info then i imagine wBBs

we went to an open evening and got the registration form, however it was sent back when they discovered we'd only finished treatment in november, with a request to try again in june. therefore we didn't get a phone call at all. it does sound like yours was just a form to get more info though?


----------



## ❣Audrey

Awwww I see you've made the decision Katie!!!!  Massive congrats chick!  

I would say it would be a general information form ( could be different as we're through a VA) as you don't get given the EOI till after you have attended an information evening.  I did have a phonecall after sending off for an information pack so I am guessing this might be the same.

How are you chick?  How does it feel to have made the decision?  Very chuffed for you xxx


----------



## katie c

Bee_bee said:


> How are you chick? How does it feel to have made the decision? Very chuffed for you xxx


hhhmmm...just having a small wibble about that tbh. a silly one maybe...

may start another thread on it though as may be interesting to see if other people who've started/been through the process ever felt like this...


----------



## ❣Audrey

Aw I hope you're ok xxx


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone


How are you all, well I hope.


We went to the call back session the other evening, and saw our group from the prep course which is nice to see everyone again. Hopefully we will be meeting our social worker soon to begin our home study - when i don't know. But its one step further to becoming a mummy and daddy.


Sonia xx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi everyone     ,

I am still on this planet   , my lap top decided to give up on me and with work being the way it is (VERY BUSY) and my phone making being on here very hard, i have had to result to just reading your posts!

I am currently at work and things are now much calmer but until i can get my new laptop i won't be on here every day like before     .

It's soooo great to see how you are all doing and i really miss chatting to you all!!

I have been spending a lot of time with the couple i met who foster and have now adopted, i see them most weekends and take littlie out and any foster children they have too which is just wonderful!! 

Attended the second AUK group held locally to me 2 weeks ago, they had guest speakers which was great!! One was an adoptive parent and the other was a BM!!! 

Anyway keep up all your hard work and patience, i am counting the days now till sept!!
xxxx


----------



## minmouse

Morning All   ,

Welcome to Frazermic   

Cars - hope your hs went ok?

Katie c - congrats on decision. Read your thread about wibble and all sounds v normal.  June is nearly here!

Bee Bee - Not started Adoption Diary yet, been v busy, but interesting on the smoking / illarmed thing - that will irritate me too .  Be interested on your views on the other books so I can place my next order    Sorry to hear u had some negative vibes, hopefully all the positive ones on here can counteract them   

Sonia - hope u get a call from s/w soon   

Kittycat - brilliant prep, you will be SO ready come Sept the s/w wont be able to make notes fast enough!  Well done you.

Any news from our other prospectives? Nearly the weekend - Yay!

M
x


----------



## eknowles

HI ALL 
i wonder if you would mind me joining.  we have sent the initial interest form off to the social services to register out interest in adoption.  i am a little lost as to where i sit on the threads so am just jumping in on here   
i have a couple of questions when you start the process do the social services contact your previous fertility clininc for dates? is it 6 months or 12 months from last treatment as read some varying info. 
not really sure what to expect from the whole process just know we so want to be a mummy and daddy and am really excited at the prospect of giving a child a loving home   
hope your journeys are going well 
em xx


----------



## katie c

eknowles said:


> i have a couple of questions when you start the process do the social services contact your previous fertility clininc for dates? is it 6 months or 12 months from last treatment as read some varying info.


we were told 12 months at the open evening. we sent a form off anyway with a covering note explaining when we'd had the last cycle and they asked us to reapply after six months. so whether the lady at the meeting was wrong, they'd just changed the policy...i don't know

no idea if they contact the clinic, but i'd be very very tempted not to fib in the hope of speeding things up, as i have a horrid feeling doing that with social services could come back and bite you sharply on the bum 

good luck to you too


----------



## Belliboo

hi frazermic & eknowles welcome to the thread

eknowles I had to wait 6 months so think it just depends on you LA as they all seem different

no news from me just waiting to hear from local authority to see if we have prioritised or not to start our home study said we should hear in may so half way through hopefully we should hear soon.

hi to everyone else hope all your adoption journeys are going ok xx


----------



## paula37

Hi Ladies hope your keeping well.

Bee Bee keep your chin hun.

Had one on one with SW today and she's given us a provisional for panel 2nd August.  Feeling abit fed up though.  Has anybody been turned down for adoption because of a sibling having previous history with social services.  My sister has who i no longer have any contact with.  SW said it could be just something panel are concerned with but not to worry.....well i am now.

Sorry for the rant.


----------



## Boggy

Paula


I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry.  I'm sure your SW just meant that the panel may ask you about it, but I really doubt it would be a barrier to adopting - your SW wouldn't be taking you to panel unless they thought you would be approved.


I'm sure all will be well


Bx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi all, 
on phone so will be a short one :-(! 
Welcome all new comers, this is by far the best site ever!! 
Moppit- massive well done for the marathon! I'm still running but still about 3.5 miles at the mo! 
Bee- hope your ok chic, I've pm'd you ! 
Looks like prep training for me is nov now!! But I'm top of the list if anyone drops out of the earlier ones! 
I've finished my google map, and area booklet and now on the house and garden risk assessments! Then onto the settling a child doc! 
On another auk course too in July, talking to your child about adoption! 
Right well I'll be off, sorry can't do many personals , off laptop shopping tomorrow, well browsing! It's driving me mad! Thank god I have it at work!! 
Love to you all and please don't forget about me, I'm still Reading along with you all xxx


----------



## frazermic

Hi

Thankyou for all your welcome's, We have been invited to the open evening by LA next month so hopefully will be able to get more information.

Hope you all have a nice weekend and the sun is shining.

x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Kitty - how pooh that your laptop has died!!!  I hope you have a new one soon! I've got your PM and shall reply in a mo! xxx

Sonia - how are you doing? xxx

Minmouse - The adopters handbook - fab source of info so a good one to get!  Almost finished Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive mother - not entirely sure what I think of this one - at times I get annoyed with her too! xxx

eknowles - welcome to the thread!!!  Some LA's say 1 year from last tx and some VA's just 6 months - I am sure you will find out at the open evening xxx

Katie C - how are you doing chick? xxx

Rachel - I hope you hear soon chick xxx

Paula - thanks chick.  I too doubt it would affect your being approved - they may just ask you about it.  Massive hugs xxx

WIMT - welcome to the thread xxx

Frazer - good luck with the open evening! xxx

Well I am doing ok!  We're still waiting to hear for definite if we are on the prep course in June but other than that just basking in the attention some of our close friends and Jake's parents are lavishing on us!!!  His Mum is buying my a Cath Kidston handbag for my birthday bless her and our closest friends have made me almost forget what idiots my parents and family are!xxx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Hi all, I haven't been on here for ages but I thought I would pop on and say hi and welcome to yet more newbies! 

Prep course is going well. Really interesting but also mentally draining. Both myself and DH come away feeling abit zombiefied!!!   
Off out for lunch today with DH family. Will be nice to wind down and enjoy a glass of wine or two before we do it all again next week. Hope everyone is well. Mrs D xx   

Ps. I keep trying to put on a ticker but it won't work, any ideas why not?


----------



## paula37

Hi there

Mrs Dibbles - the prep courses are draining and both me and my DH felt really down at times as it was so negative.  Keep in there.

Bee Bee - a new handbag how nice.  I wouldn't worry about your parents and family...you know who you can rely on and those are the ones you need around you.

Frazermic all the best for your open evening.

Thanks to those who put my mind at rest about my sister.  I just don't know what i'd do if we got turned down.  Next visit from SW is tuesday so will keep you updated.

xx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Mrs Dibbles - glad to hear the prep course is going well.  Which code are you copying in to your signature? xxx

Paula - glad your feeling more settled about your sister xxx

How is everyone else doing today? xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi Bee,

I have pm'd you!

Borrowing a friends laptop - heaven hahaha!

Iam good today thanks chic, had a lovely weekend. How are you doing? How is operation house going? I have been working on my house/garden risk assessment, actually loving it as it's a lot easier than the area booklet and google map! I do risk assessments at work so it's easy for me too!

xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Aw fantastic! Glad you are able to post again!!!  Operation house is ok!  We've had a weekend off as it was our friends wedding on Friday and Jake was best man and I did the reading!  I'm doing ok although I had another HAE attack on friday night so had the usual hospital visit.  I'm resting up now!  Being thoroughly spoilt for my birthday this year and not used to it!  Jake went out and bought me a nice new laptop today!

How is the garden coming along?  We really need to get out in ours next weekend! xxx


----------



## Angels4Me

hi all

New to this thread. Wonder if anyone here could help me. DP and i want to start Adoption process but currently live in one bedroom flat although we are planning and saving to move asap. As the process of adoption takes so long would it be worth applying now?

thank you
angels


----------



## ❣Audrey

Hi Angels - I notice your last treatment was in March of this year.  Usually LA and VA will want there to have been at least 6 months since you last had treatment.  xxx


----------



## Angels4Me

thank you beebee


----------



## ❣Audrey

That's ok - there is so much information to find when starting to think about adopting and it can be heartbreaking if you don't realise things!

I would still contact your VA or LA and find out what you can from them! xxx


----------



## katie c

hi all   

angels - wBBs really, but you could maybe go to an open evening and start getting some books at least   

beeb - hope you're ok!   don't know what HAE is though   hope it's not too serious   

KK - you are really cracking on with your homework! i've, err, bought some files   

paula and mrs D - glad to hear you're getting on ok with the courses...i can't wait for when it's us   

hi to anyone i've missed


i'm dead chuffed with mr c at the mo' ...he seems to be really thinking about adoption stuff so much   

the other night he was having a whisky, and was then talking about how he'd have to be careful to put bottles away etc when we had our child, as it could have come from a household with alcohol abuse and wouldn't want to trigger a bad memory by them seeing booze

and last night we were watching 'coraline' (animated film where neglected child goes to a parallel world and gets an 'other mother' who is great at first but then turns into a witch   and he was saying how we wouldn't let our child see it until they were mature and secure enough to realise it was just a story

initially when we started this i worried he was just agreeing to make me happy, but he sounds really really into it now. so pleased


----------



## ❣Audrey

Awwwwww Katie - it's fantastic when you realise they are really serious about this isn't it!!!  I am so chuffed for you and bless DH thinking so much it's such a lovely thing to hear!!!

HAE is short for Hereditary Angioedema - basically my face, neck, airways, limbs or intestines swell up!  Usually stress or tiredness are my main triggers and until we see the specialist at Addenbrookes they happen every 2 to three weeks! I am well used to it though so it doesn't phase me so much now as when it first happened!!

xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Ohhh Bee, sorry to hear you had another attack, hope you are ok! Even though you are used to it, it still must be unpleasant for you chic. I have messaged you back too 

Angels - welcome. You are in the right place for advice, i always say this but without these girlies on here i would be totally lost and oblivious to the whole process and whats needed! Re the 1 bed flat, they do stipulate that the child has it's own room, but if your intention is to move then great . It is a fairly long process yes and it does depend on each individual LA and VA. You could always call your LA and set the ball rolling with requesting an information pack and maybe being invited to an open evening, see what you think after that.

Hope this helps chic and good luck with what ever you decide to do xxx


----------



## herbaltea

Hi all

Haven't been on this board for a while as I'm awaiting the results of a medical report to see if I can formally apply!

After 2 months of hearing nothing.......and chasing up everyone, it seems as if my agencies medical advisor hasn't even sent off the forms to my GP/consultant yet! They eluded to the fact my case 'might have slipped through the net'. Needless to say I'm quite upset that after 2 months of waiting, I'm no further forward and now have to wait many more weeks!

Hope everyone else is okay


----------



## katie c

oh flippin' 'eck, HT, that's beyond rubbish


----------



## ❣Audrey

Kitty - so nice to see you again!!!

HT - how pooh  here's hoping that they now pull their fingers out pronto xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

I'm should be getting ready for work, so this is just a quickie as I haven't been here for ages.
I've been reading back on all your news, but haven't had a chance to do personals yet.

I just wanted to pop in and say hi    and will hopefully get a chance to write a longer post in the next few days   

Lots of love to you all,

Anj x


----------



## kittykat1234

Thanks Bee - It's nice to be back   
Herbaltea, i am sooooooooo sorry!! I just can't beleive this i really can't!! You must be soooooo annoyed and upset!!
Like Bee said, lets hope now things move fast for you!! xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi Anjelisssa - i havn't been on much either lately due to a lack of computer!

Hope all is well with you xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Anjelissa - hi!  Hope you get more time to catch up!!

Kitty - how are you today chick?  We had our first interview to look at volunteering this afternoon!  Only problem is it appears to mostly be with older children and we have put to adopt 5 and under.  How did others go about finding volunteer work? xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Bee...I just wanted to say that I'm volunteering at our local Nursery/Infant School for one session a week (it's all I can fit it with working full time and shift work).
We're very lucky that we have a wonderful school within walking distance of our home and after a lot of research it's also the school that we'd like our little ones/s to go to.
I basically emailed the Head Teacher and explained that I was being assessed to adopt etc, and asked if it would be possible to offer my services as a volunteer.  
They were really lovely and very welcoming, and as I said above I now go once a week, for a morning session.
I am lucky in that I was able to join the Nursery class (aged 3-4) so it is more relevant to our age range of 0-2.
I had to complete a 'mini CRB check' which is processed instantly through their system I think, so I didn't have to wait for my enhanced CRB to come back before I could start.

It is sometimes quite hard getting up so early on my day off, usually after working a late shift, but once I'm there I really enjoy it, and the way I see it, I'm also building a relationship with the staff at my future child's school so it's a good thing for many reasons.    

Good luck with finding some volunteer work, I hope the above helped.

Luv Anj x


----------



## kittykat1234

Bee - I'm good thanks chic, sorry havn't had chance to reply to your pm yet.

Well when  i was looking for volunteer work i just e mailed and wrote to a few nurseries explaining my situation and waited for a reply. Then just as i was about to go and see the nurseries in person as hadn't had many replies, i had an e mail from one 2 mins away from me that 3 friends send their littlies to. My 1 friend had put a word in for me bless her ( i didn't ask her too) and that was that. They asked me what age i  would like to volunteer with and i said prerably 0-1 to start with and then maybe mix it with the toddlers after a few months, so that's what i do. I go from 12.30 - 6 every friday as i finish work at 12 on a friday.

Hope that helps a bit xxx


----------



## herbaltea

Hi all, hope everyone is ok!

Sorry for the imminent me me me post but I'd welcome some feedback!

After my va's problem with not chasing up my medical reports putting me back 3 months(!!!) I am considering trying my la! I've already attended their info day so it would be a case of a sw visiting then their collation of my medical reports! Maybe I could see who was quickest and most pro active!

It has to be said, my trust in the va is already waning and I haven't even made a formal application!!!!

Anyone offering any pearls of wisdom?!

Many thanks all


----------



## galaxy girl

herbaltea - i would try LA too - whats to lose??

Hi everyone... well our fostering prep course is complete - it went well though we were the only ones with no kids....and we now plan to attend an adoption one in June and hopefully go ahead to be approved for both!! Am hoping that can be done - at the moment I'm just taking any opportunity offered.

Bee - hope your feeling better!
Kitty - hope the laptop situation is sorted soon...


----------



## ❣Audrey

Anjelissa - thank you for the info - I may have to speak to my boss about arranging to do a later shift one day a week so I can do that as I work 7 till 4! xxx

Kitty - how lovely of your friend!!!  How are you doing hun? xxx

Herbaltea - I hope changing to the LA is a good move for you and you get going on this whole process soon and it makes up for your wait chick xxx

GG - glad the prep course went well chick!!  Sounds like you really enjoyed it!!!  xxx

As for me having a dire day!!!  Only comfort was that I found out that the manager of the restaurant where I had my accident is gone, but it's small comfort considering I wake up to my 'new face' every day even a year on  xxx


----------



## kittykat1234

Hey everyone!

Herbaltea - hiya, how you doing? I would def try your LA, like galaxy girl said, what ya got to loose?? Hope you are ok! I do think of you and what you must be going through with all this!!

Galaxy girl - well done on completing your fostering prep course, all systems go now then! Good luck with it all! I have mine in sept or Nov, either way i am excited and also very nervous!

Bee - I'm good thanks hun, sorry to hear your having a bad time of things!! I don't really know about your accident or whats gone on but i hope you are ok!! xxx


----------



## katie c

hi all...just wanted to share a positive adoption experience with you all

a friend from school contacted me via ********, and it turns out she has  adopted two boys. so i went to see her yesterday and her sons are just  the most adorable little chaps   
  
  her eldest is five and he just bonded with me straight away (possibly  because i had a go on his trampoline   ) and when i   left he gave me a little plastic space ship and said i could keep it if  i wanted. so i took it as i didn't want to rebuff him, and said i'd  play with it and bring it back next time i saw him. i've taken a picture  of it and that's going to be my good luck charm for adoption
  
  i was so pleased because little kids always seem to get on with mr c and  ignore me...i get on better with teenagers. i was always worried  children hated me or something but obviously not   
  
  anyway she was so nice and encouraging, it's fab to have someone so  close by who can offer support. i know i have lots of 'normal' friends  and you guys too   but it's great  having someone close who can relate to this

i was nearly in tears on the way home...but in a good way

there was an article on the bbc the other day about 20% of adoptions breaking down, and you always seem to read doom and gloom stories in magazines and so on. it was lovely to see evidence of it working, and working well. my friend couldn't be happpier with her gorgeous sons. 

she said you just have to be patient, but at the same time not complacent and be prepared to chase the LA up when it's dragging. and be clear what you have in mind in relation to children and stick to it. and eventually hopefully we will all be as blessed as she and her H are


----------



## herbaltea

Hi all and what a brilliant weekend of weather   

Little update from me - I've now re-activated my adoption path with my LA but their sw is away next week, so she'll phone me when she gets back and come to visit! 

Katie C - thats a really good news story - great to hear about an adoption that is going really well 

Galaxy Girl - congrats on  finishing your fostering prep  

KittyKat - bet you can't wait for your prep course!! Can't believe we made our initial enquiries at the same time and you're way ahead!! 

Hi to everyone and hope you all had a great weekend in the sun


----------



## ❣Audrey

Kitty - how are you doing chick?  I'm ok - my accident was a year ago on the 25th May - I was burned by steam in an accident with an industrial steamer.  xxx

KC - awwwwwwww how sweet of him!!!  I'm so glad you have found something positive and a friend who understands this all xxx

HT - hope you hear something soon xxx


----------



## Maccer

Hello All,

I am so sorry I haven't been on here a bit more often, things have been crazy, but hopefully things should calm down a bit now.  I am not going to do personals but I just wanted to say welcome to all the newbies and I hope your journeys go smoothly and hello to all the regulars, hope you are all making good progress.  

Take care

Mx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Maccer - good to see you! Glad you're ok!

How is everyone else doing?  I spoke to the social worker today and we are definitely on the prep course at the beginning of June! xxx


----------



## paula37

Hi everyone

Awww Katie C that is lovely.  She'll be a good support for you.  I agree it is nice to hear a nice story rather than negativity.

x


----------



## kittykat1234

Hi all 

Hope you are all well and enjoying this glorious weather!

Katie C - that's really lovely to read and positive for us all 

Herbaltea - Great! Well done for contacting your LA, lets hope more comes of this path!

Bee - Hey chicken, how you doing? I am fine thanks, just busy with work and been going out quite a lot etc! Sorry to hear about your accident! That couldn't have been very pleasant! Massive congrats on being on the prep course - that's soooo near now, how exciting! Please update on here as much as poss!
Maccer - Hey, how's things? I havn't been on much either due to one thing and another!

Well i have booked a girlie hol for end of june to turkey, 10 days and i can't wait! Very cheap deal we have got as saving each month into my adoption account doesn't leave much spare along with everything else, very worth while it will be though!

Hope everyone is well xxx


----------



## herbaltea

Bee - that is fab news about your prep course ....... brilliant!!


----------



## ❣Audrey

Kitty - yay for the girly holiday!!!!  You better believe I shall be keeping you up to date!  

Herbal Tea - thank you!  I still have to keep pinching myself.  After years of being mucked about by the NHS, adoption seems to so far be going so smoothly for us!

How is everyone else? xxx


----------



## minmouse

Evening Ladies,

Not getting on here as much as Id like,had a tough time at work, long hours & a few issues to deal with.  Applied for a new job internally so hope that problem will go away soon!  Anyways, good to see how you are all getting on

Beebee - so sorry to read about your accident, what a thing to have to deal with :-( But massive congrats on your prep course - whats the date?  It's June next week - yay!!   

Kitty - that girly holiday sounds a fab idea.  Ive just booked a girly w/e to the Spa, us girls need to get away sometimes dont we?!  Im fancying Turkey for October - looking at Kalkan - where you going?  

Herbaltea - good luck with LA   

Katie c - thanks for sharing your lovely story - hope the space ship piccie brings you much luck and mr c sounds like he has really put a  lot of thought into it all   

galaxy girl - good luck with dual approvals   

Hi to anyone I missed   

M
x


----------



## Moppit

Morning Lovely Ladies

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. Have been feeling very down. 4 months since we were approved at panel and not a whisper of a profile to review. Things don't look positive for the short term either as our SW says there are no children coming through at our LA. We are trying to think of ways to be proactive (beyond looking at Be My Parent Magazine etc) which might help us to get our profile infront of some SWs in other LAs but its difficult. I know we have to be patient but if I'm honest I feel like I have been, being patient for too many years and just want something positive to happen for us. I noticed that CB one of the regular posters on here is going through matching panel shortly so proof that matches do happen quickly sometimes (she went to panel in February too) but just wish it could be us too.

Bee Bee and Kitty - Re childcare I volunteer at the local Brownies. This is less of a commitment than a nursery as we meet in the early evening (6.00pm) once a week but still demonstrates the kind of skills the SW are looking for. If you can get away earlier from work you could volunteer at rainbows which is the group before Brownies for girls under 7. Brownies is 7-9. If you want more information about this let me know. Its really easy to volunteer and they are always looking for helpers. Most communities have at least one pack so finding out more wouldnt be difficult and the same goes for cubs and beavers the boys equivalents.

Love to all of you lovely adopters!

Mx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Min - I hope things get sorted at work soon chick xxx  Our prep course starts 4th June!!!  It's just over 3 days at the weekend. 

Moppit - thinking of you and I hope you get a match soon.  I will look into Rainbows as I finish work at 4 so am guessing I would be able to do that xxx


----------



## panorama

Hi everyone

I said hello many moons ago but still waiting to start, hopefully hear something next month and we will get allocated a sw     I must admit the waiting is doing my head in a bit    And I prefer to just not think about things too much until we start! Like all of us just really want to get going.

Bee_bee - I have volunteered for Rainbows for a year now and really love it, the girls are lovely, still all nice and innocent!    My SW seemed to think it was good experience. My group starts at 4.30 so hopefully you can find one near you! By the way love following your story!    Great you are getting started soon!

Moppit - I know I will be the same as you!    Must be hard to wait, like you I think we have waited enough! But maybe a match is just round the corner you never know, fingers crossed!    

Minmouse - hope job situation improves!

KK - have a great holiday!!   

Love to everyone else   

Alli xx


----------



## libby29

Hello all!
Bit lost on these threads so hope i'm on the right one. Me and hubby are trying to start the adoption route and could do with a little advice. We had our last treatment in april this yr that didn't work and as we have always said we would give it 2 goes then try adoption, this is where we are. We have read loads about it over the last yr and know that most agencies want u to have at least 6mths greiving time. Well we thought we wouldn't loose anything by just asking for an info pack. We mentioned on the phone about our lastest treatment and that we were certain this is the route for us but understood the 6 mth rule. They sent us the pack and we sent the breif application back a week later. They phoned us straight away and asked to come and meet us. We really wanted this but wanted to know if it was just to tell us to ait a bit longer or because they really were interested in us. They said they dont really go by the 6 mths rule but treat everyone on an individual basis so it all depends on the couple/individual. We asked if we could attend an info eve and she said there isnt alot of interest in adoption in our area so no info eve at present but will bring info with them when they meet us. Bit confused over this as does this mean if they accept us we have skipped over the first hurdle or does it mean we still have to do info eve but just have to wait for more people to apply, which seems insane. Also if there's not much interest could that be why they seem so keen to meet us even though we've had recent treatment (hope so). She's coming in a few days so reading and trying to find out as much info as i can. Any advice or experience in this would be sooo appreciated.xxxxx


----------



## Boggy

Hi Libby


Welcome to the adoption boards    


Sound like they may not do info nights in your area, and will give you all the info you need on a home visit.  I've not heard of this happening before, but can't see any reason why it shouldn't!   I'm sure all will be revealed when the SW visits.  If they do want you to wait until there are enough couples for an info night, it might be worth contacting some other agencies - you can apply to any within a 50 radius of your home.   


There's no 6 month rule where I live, and other places have a 12 month rule instead so it does vary a lot from place to place.


Hope your appointment goes well.  If you have any questions feel free to post them here or start a new topic and we'll all answer best we can.   


Bx


----------



## libby29

Thanks Boggy for taking the time to reply.
I have loads of questions as you can probably imagine he he. Well one that is also playing on my mind is that we although have a lrg 2 bed house it is only a 2 bed house! Hubby has 2 girls from 1st marriage who stay 1 w/e a mth. Would it be totally unreasonable to say the solution to this is that we have a sofa bed in the lounge for us and the girls will have our room on these occasions, or maybe as a perminant solution would be that we would take the small room and the girls could share with any child we adopt whenthey visit as the room is way big enough. I'm scared they will see this as a negative eek help!


----------



## Boggy

Hi Libby


Your SW will want to discuss the sleeping arrangements, but sounds as if you have thought of a couple of solutions.  I'd think that SW probably wouldn't agree to your DH's children sharing with your adopted child, so it may have to be the sofa bed solution.  SW would expect any adopted child to have their own room and personal space (unless it's a sibling placement). They'll also want to know more details about your DH's children and possibly meet them as part of the assessment.


There is at least another 1 member on here who was in a similar situation with step-children and that's all worked out fine.  I'm sure it won't be seen as a negative - just something to be worked out.   


Bx


----------



## libby29

Thank you Boggy! i thought the sofa bed would be the best option as we use it when in laws come ect so its a good one. I feel a bit better after you saying its just something that needs working out and not a negative. I'll sleep better tonight thanks x


----------



## minmouse

Evening all,

Moppit - sorry to hear you are having a long wait, it could be just around the corner though. I recall some great advice on here about making a flyer & sending out neighbouring LAs - you could try this? - fingers crossed its soon for you.

I love the Brownies / Rainbow idea!  I was frustarted as f/t work means I couldnt volunteer for school time but if I could find a friday pack , I could do rainbows! Thanks for brill ideas 

Beebee - 4th June - wahoo! less than a week to go now 

Alli - welcome back, hope you get a s/w soon.

Libby - welcome to the thread. Hope things go your way with timescales.  Re housing, I believe LAs are not keen on placed children sharing with existing children - thats what we have been told.  We have similar dilema as have dps kids 2 w/es / mth & therefore no spare room on those weekends. I hadnt thought about a temporary sofabed option though - be interested to hear what they say, its sounds like a good solution, I will run it past our LA too. Good luck.

M
x


----------



## katie c

hi libby...welcome to the thread. sorry to read about your m/c   

moppit - hope things look up for you soon   

hi to everyone else   

june is four days away, woo hoooo!


----------



## libby29

Thanks katie c, we all have had such a hard journey to this point haven't we? Though as one door closes another one opens, and we have to believe that things happen for a reason or we'd go insane.

minmouse i'm so glad i've found someone on here in a similar situation. Would really love to hear what your sw says about the sofa bed. What have you told her you would do about sleeping arangements then, if you dont mind me asking?x


----------



## Losing my grip

Hi Fellow Adopters!
DH & I finally have some good news to share after lots of years of tears - we have been linked with a little boy and we have said yes!  

We will have loads of questions on the way to parenthood and am relying on you guys to help us along the way
It is very early days but hope to go to panel in July. We have told our parents - we only have 1 each and no siblings and also a couple of very close friends but wondered when we should tell everyone else (in addition to you all on here!!) as we know nothing is definate until after panel.
Of course I will let work know (my boss already knows our plans to adopt) but any of you who have done this already may have some advice for us
Am desperate to let people know as this has been a long time a comin!    
LMG x


----------



## Boggy

Congratulations!     


We told our family just before the linking meeting (wasn't a competitive match) and everyone else after.  I left work the day before matching panel so everyone had to know!


Looking back I was probably a bit naive when you read stories of what can go wrong, but it all felt right for us.   


Bx


----------



## Cars

LMG-             

Delighted for you both, have you seen a photo of him? You must be so excited. Best of luck over the next few weeks, july will be here in no time!

Cars x


----------



## Losing my grip

Hi Cars - thanks for your message.
We have been given some photos and also a dvd!
Besotted!
x


----------



## Cars

That is fantastic, can totally understand that you want to tell everyone, I would be the very same, does your sw think you will get approved at panel?? Bet you'll do great and you'll have your little one home in no time! What age is he if you dont mind me asking

Cars


----------



## Losing my grip

Cars said:


> That is fantastic, can totally understand that you want to tell everyone, I would be the very same, does your sw think you will get approved at panel?? Bet you'll do great and you'll have your little one home in no time! What age is he if you dont mind me asking
> 
> Cars


 He is 10months old - will be 1 by the time he comes to live with his forever mummy & daddy!


----------



## libby29

Oh my goodness this is just fantastic news, how exciting. your soooo close, lucky thing! xxxx and big hugs xxxx


----------



## Cars

lmg, I am absolutely delighted for you, you have made my night!!


----------



## Moppit

Fantastic news! Huge congratulations and thanks so much for sharing your news! Gives us all the hope to keep going!


Moppit x


----------



## minmouse

LMG - fab news!  Its stories like this that keep us all going so keep us up to date with all your news.  What a lovely age too. Fingers crossed for panel x

Libby - in response to q - we have permission to build another room, so s/w hav us 'on hold' while we do - but Im hoping the sofabed option will work as an alternative.  

Where is our sunny weekend!


----------



## libby29

Hi minmouse, wells here's hoping about the sofa bed as we def can't build another room....Oh god!


----------



## sweets x

hiya peeps

Lmg wonderful news hun x x

Hi to everyone and sorry not posted for ages, will try and read back to see how you all are.
Been a bit crap with the endo, and being only stylist at work am absolutely shattered so don't go on laptop much.

Went to the adoption evening, it was amazing and we were both giddy afterwards. 
The social worker was lovely and very nice to us.
We talked about the form they filled out from my phone interview, about ages we want to adopt, family history, experience with kids, then she said she had no problem letting us have the official application form to adopt. 
I hung onto it like it was gold lol...
Then we had a look at the paper with all the kids in, i could of cried buckets. I said to dh, it feels like your looking at kids like someone else would look at a next catalogue. The social worker's assistant heard us and came over, sympathised but said its something you have to get used to. This is gonna be a tough journey for me i think. 

Anyhow, have decided i'm keeping an adoption diary so off to write about open evening in it.
Take care 

nicola x x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Alli - Rainbow's sounds like a good plan! xxx

libby - you wont be asked to apply for adoption until you have completed the prep course - everyone has to go on one of these as they are part of the assessment process.  The information evening was ok but basically just went over information we knew already, so it's not surprising they are happy to come out and visit you which is good!  We are going through a VA and they did have a 6 month period to wait after tx but we were well past that and so have started out quite quickly on the process - very exciting for you that they are willing to treat each case individually.  The IHV however was a lot more in depth and looked into our families etc and asked us lots of questions - I think 20 in total, we had thought over ones we knew would need explaining a lot so we had a good chat about them.  Sounds like you've had a long think about the situation with your step children which is good.We talked at our IHV about the impact on our nieces and nephew who we have once a month for a weekend, and how they wouldn't be able to stay for a while when we first have children placed with us and how we would deal with this - the social worker seemed impressed we had thought it through.  Good luck xxx

Minmouse- how are you doing chick?  I can't believe we only have 4 days till our prep course - well 5 but this one is nearly over!!!  It feels so weird - after all the waiting around for IF tx etc it is strange to have things move so quickly.  Jake said to me Friday night when we received our email outlining the plans for the 3 day course and what topics it covers that the lady did say that in terms of adoption in our area we are young and sought after so that may be why we're on the course so quickly.

Katie C - it's June in 2 days!!!!!!!!!! How quickly has that gone!!!!!!! xxx

LMG - massive massive congratulations! xxx

Cars - how are you doing chick? xxx

Nicola - glad your open evening went well xxx


----------



## Camly

Morning girls

LMG - brill brill brill news. many many congrats!! brill news. we were a little confused with the 'linking/matching' panels. so we hadnt told anyone and didnt realise we had been to a linking panel! we waited until the actual matching panel before telling people as it wasnt that far away. then we told the world!!!!    great feeling and what a fantastic age. look forward to hearing more.

hi to everyone else. hope ur all well x x x


----------



## minmouse

Afternoon Ladies,

Libby, I sent you a PM - dont worry hun, it will be fine.

Niola - glad u enjoyed the open evening, I know what you mean about the mags - dont you just want to take every single one of them home? 

Beebee - its nearly June!   

Love to all
M
x


----------



## katie c

hi all 

i've had the most silly wobble today, over something pretty minor thinking about it now, after a few hours of it happening...

i was filling out the registration to adopt form and i put it in the kitchen work surface for mr c to sign when i realised i'd got a coffe stain on it.  it's only about the size of a 10p but i was sooooo annoyed, i've waited four months to fill this out and then i can't even do it right 

initially mr c said 'it doesn't matter' and i flipped and said that yes it _did_, they'd either think we didn't give a toss or think we had a dirty house.  so then he said 'well if it matters to you that much go and get another form.' because i have all the time in the world to go into town and get one. 

so i kinda dripped some water on it, and i think i'll then iron the paper as it's got all wrinkly. am i seriously overthinking all this?


----------



## ❣Audrey

Minmouse - I hated the newspapers at the open evening - they were about 3 years old but when I looked there were children in them as toddlers that are still waiting for adoption on the BMP website now   made me so sad! xxx

KC - It's June tomorrow!!!!  As for your wobble chick I can hardly judge - I cried the night before our IHV because Fat Wol wouldn't let me put a collar on her and I was worried they would think we neglect her!  Massive huggles chick xxx

How is everyone else doing?  I am currently going through the itnerary for next weekend and starting to research the different topics mentioned - not sure if this is overdoing it but I at least want to know a bit about each topic xxx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya

Mini- yeah i could off took them all. S/w said that because of the recession and people having to back out of adoption due to job losses etc...  they had 3 babies ages around 9 months they couldn't home yet, told her to bring them to my house. 

Beebee- you starting prep course at weekend... sorry if off the mark, so need to catch up with peeps x x

Katies- bless ya, i'd of felt exactly the same so don't think your over doing things, hope you get it sent off ok.

Seems to be alot of peeps doing prep course in sept...hope we can join you.

Hi to everyone else, hope you enjoyed bank holiday weekend.

nicola x x


----------



## eknowles

hi all 
hope you have all enjoyed the bank holiday. 
i have contacted ss this am and we have been allocated a sw who will contact us to come for home visit.  i am so excited although prep course for june is full so looking at autumn but that is fine as will be well over 6 mths since last ivf then. 
i was just wondering if anyone could advise any reading material that would be of benefit to us at this early stage?? 
thanks 
em xx


----------



## Belliboo

Hi ladies sorry I've been awol for a whille we have now got to wait until august to see if we have been allocated a social worker following prep groups as there are staff shortages in our LA.  I know this is a slow process but feeling like we're not getting anywhere fast!! But I suppose I had better get used to it!!

eknowles welcome to the thread adoption diaries is a good read & also the adopters handbook, think there is a like on here somewhere with a list of them

BeeBee enjoy your prep groups!!

Losing my grip fab news good luck for matching panel, & what a lovely age 1 years old

Hi to everyone else , hope your all ok xxxxxxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Firstly....
LMG....Huge Congratulations to you! How exciting!  
I bet it still doesn't seem real! I can't imagine quite how it's going to feel when we get 'the call' x


I hope you all had a good BH weekend 

We held a BBQ for 8 of our fellow prep course members on Sunday, so it was lovely to all get together. 
We will hopefully stay in close contact with 3 of the couples, 2 couples live really close to us, so we plan to do 'coffee mornings' when we are eventually placed with our little ones, and on Adoption Leave. Nothing like being positive and forward planning hey! 

Sorry once again for not being on here as regularly as I'd like, I'm thinking of you all though, and hope all's going well for everyone.

I'm afraid now that it's getting so close to our panel, I have even less time (with volunteer work, SW visits, homework & fulltime shiftwork) to keep up with our list on here, especially now with so many new people joining all the time.
Despite all good intentions, I just simply can't keep up atm!  
Hi to all the recent new additions to this thread btw 

Feel free to scroll back a few pages to the last time it was posted to see where everyone was up to that point if need be, but I think it may be easier to ask to be added to the main list on the Adoption title page from now on if anyone wants to be listed as a poster on this forum.
Sorry guys, I'm just being realistic. I'm sure everyone at a similar stage can completely understand how manic it gets! 

I hope to be able to sit down soon with a coffee and read back and totally catch up with everyone! 

Lots of love to everyone,

Anj x

PS...I read back a short way, and judging by the amount of people saying 'sorry for not being here as regularly as they'd like', it seems to be a common theme with us all. At least it's nice to know that we are all in the same boat and understand


----------



## Moppit

Dear Em

I have copied below a list of books that I put together in a previous post. It is not exhaustive and there are lots of books out there but I found these particularly useful and there is a mix of fiction and non fiction depending on what you like. The ones that are * are those I would particulary recommend.

The SWs do like to see that you have done lots of reading and it is also worth joining Adoption UK and BAAF if you havent already as they have lots of articles on their websites. I borrowed alot of the books from the library rather than buying them as it gets expensive. Even if they didnt have them on the shelves the library will order them for you.

Happy Reading. Moppit x

*Non Fiction/Reference

*Caring for children exposed to substance abuse - Rena Phillips _(Focuses on effects of drug and alchohol in pregnancy. Good book to read sections of but be warned it is depressing and probably not the one to start with. It is useful when you get to discussing these issues in your Home Study)
_
A Child's Journey through Placement - Vera Fahlberg _(Text Book style book. Not one to read cover to cover but sections are useful especially to understand the process)
_
What to expect when you are adopting - Ian Palmer* _(Really good book, easy to read)
_
Adoption - Jennifer Lord

The Primal Wound - Nancy Newton Ferrier (_Be warned this is another quite depressing one and read it with a pinch of salt as this is just the author's opinion on the effects of children being taken away from their birth mothers. Interesting though)_

First Steps in Parenting the Child that Hurts, Tiddlers & Toddlers - Caroline Archer

The Adoption Experience - Ann Morris* _(Another good one, easy to read)_

Considering Adoption - Sarah Biggs*_(Another good one, easy to read)_

Why love matters - Sue Gerhardt _(About attachment not just relevant to adoption)
_
Approaching Fatherhood a Guide for Adoptive Dads - Paul May

Fiction/Biography

A Mother's Ruin (Alcohol Abuse) - Nicola Barry

Lost Child - Julie Myerson

An Adoption Diary - Maria James* _(Really enjoyed this as it is written by an adoptive mother)
_
Blue Eyed Son, the story of an adoption - Nicky Campbell

Take Two, a story about confronting infertility, exporting alternatives and adopting 2 babies - Laurel Ashton* _(Again really enjoyed this one as I could relate to it. Written by an adoptive mother and goes through fertility to adoption with a nice happy ending!)
_


----------



## galaxy girl

Thanks for this Moppit - have some of these - also really enjoyed 'Take two' .
On prep course yesterday SW mentioned the vera falberg one - so thinking of buying that.
I also have the attachment handbook for fostering and adoption ( again very textbookish)
and an american one - ?guide to adoption maybe - was recomended by friends - have found it good on attachment.

prep course went well yesterday  - feeling really positive about the process.


----------



## ❣Audrey

Nicola - we are indeed on our prep course this weekend!  Must have been so hard when the social worker said about the babies - it is indeed so heartbreaking! xxx

EKnowles - welcome to the board!  Sounds like things are moving quickly for you!  As for reading material, Jake has already read Approaching Fatherhood which he found helpful and he is now reading the Primal Wound.  I have read Adoption Diary, Secret Thoughts Of An Adoptive Mother and What to Expect When You're Adopting.  The first two I have to say I found annoying - one womans attitude to smoking and her being ill prepared in terms of research annoyed me, and for some reason the mother in the Secret Thoughts annoyed me too!  I'm pretty sure different people will view the books differently though!  We also have the Adopters Handbook which has lots of info in it.

Anj - you sound like you have your hands full at the moment!  I hope you manage to find time for the two of you in the midst of it all!  No apologies necessary though! I think it would be good to have a list on it's own thread that can be updated with where we are all at so we can see at a glance - I can imagine for most of us there will be very busy times during the process! xxx

Moppit  - how are you doing chick? xxx

GG - how is your prep course going?  Would be good to compare notes!  xxx


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

Sorry not been on for ages - any news/gossip?? we've been allocated a SW and have our 1st home study visit line in in about two weeks - cant wait to get started!!

Em - our paths have crossed on another thread i think (cant remember which) 

x x x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Pinky - fab news!!!  The time seems to go so quickly at the moment - I am sure it will be here before you know it!

Today I am mostly freaking out about the weekend!!!  I don't do big groups or role playing or any of that stuff!  I want to get my hair done too but am tempted to go back to blonde as I miss it - all sorts of irrational thoughts about outfits and whatnot!  And to top it all, DH insisted on eating some corned beef burgers last night which I told him from the picture on the packet looked awful and today he is very sick!
Hope everyone else is ok xxx


----------



## eknowles

thank you all for your warm welcomes and information will get on with looking for books and get reading. 
pink - yes i was on the manchester thread a while ago then went over to the lancashire one as from bury.  hope you are well!! good luck for the visit which council etc are you applying through 
bee - good luck for the weekend everything will be fine is it the prep course you are going on (just trying to get to grips wth where everyone is up to)
moppit - thank you so much for info really useful 
hi everyone else please excuse lack of personals meant to be working but just bobbed on...


----------



## libby29

Hi all! Well we had our 1st hv yesterday and it went great. I was so worried about the our treatment history being a problem but it didnt seem to be. She said we seemed very informed and as we seemed comfortable talink about our path to this she didn't see that it would be a problem. The next prep course isnt for 4 mths so by then would be 6 anyway so we could include that time. Sadly she said they have lots of young children needing homes and very fews adopters in our area, that did make me feel very sad for the littlies. This though i guess could be good for us. She seemed really keen on us and said she would be recommending us to her manager today but all depends on the boss. Either way she said the letter would be in the post by tomorrow. Cant believe how quick that seems. So glad she's on the ball though. So fingers crossed for this letter to be a good one. Then all systems go for prep course. When i said i understand we could be in for a long wait for a baby, a good few years she said she didn't think that would be the case. When i pushed for what she would think possible she shocked me by saying we could have a child possibly if all goes well by the end of next year. Wow is all i can say! I know this is the quickest it could happen and it will probably take longer but still thrilled they dont seemed to mess around here. I mentioned about the spare room/ step children situation and she didn't seem to concerned infact she said "there are ways around it". So thrilled it went well, just hoping to get the golden ticket soon! xx
Bee bee- good luck for tomorrow, i'll be thinking of you all day xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

eknowles - it is the prep course!

Libby - what fantastic news chick! Glad it went well for you!  4 months will fly by!!!  

Thank you - off to bed in a bit! Will let you know how it goes xxx


----------



## Moppit

Morning All!

What a lovely sunny day again... if only we didnt have to work!

Libby29 - Great news about your home visit. So glad it went well and you have a date in the diary for Prep Groups. 4 months will fly by in a second especially with it being summer. What LA are you with?

Bee Bee - I promise you will enjoy the Prep Groups. Try not to worry too much about the group exercises, everyone is in the same boat and the SW's are very gentle! It will be great for you to meet all the other adopters and it will really feel like you have started the journey. Let us know how it all goes.

No news from me I'm afraid but another week nearer to having a child I suppose 

mx


----------



## Anjelissa

Morning all,

I should be getting ready for work, but I'm procrastinating   

I just wanted to say to Bee Bee and to all those who are just about to attend prep groups, you have nothing at all to worry about. 
As others have said, you are all in the same boat and will all be a little nervous to some extent, but that all dissapears after about the first hour when you've got to know everyone.
As I said in my last post, we held a BBQ last weekend for our prep group members and 4 couples were able to come.
We had already gone to dinner with one of the couples since our group, and had met up for coffee with 2 of the others, so we are quite good at keeping in touch.

We are lucky in that we live quite close to 2 of the couples, and we are all already planning coffee mornings etc when we have our little ones. 
DH is planning to go along to the Mens Group for Adopters that our LA run with one of the guys. 

I just wanted to reassure you that there is nothing to worry about. Some of the content can be quite heavy, and you are quite tired at the end of each day, but we enjoyed our Prep Course and made some great friends.

I also think how lovely it will be to have a couple of friends to meet up with locally who are travelling the same journey through adoption at the same time, with the same LA, and who completely understand.
Not only that, but the little ones will then be socialising with other adopted children, and so there is less of a chance of them feeling 'different' when they get a bit older.

We have also all been a great source of information and support for each other since the course, eg..with delays of CRB's and time scales as time goes on etc etc.  
It now appears that 3 of us have the same panel date too!

I just wanted to reassure you that there's nothing to worry about, and you'll soon be all done and dusted looking back at how valuable an experience it was for so many reasons.

Lots of love Anj x

PS...now I really AM late for work, lol!


----------



## libby29

Well we got our golden ticket this morning, yay! Only had the 1st hv on wednesday and sw has already spoken to her manager and sent the letter to arrive to us today. Going to phone on monday to get put down for the prep course. So pleased that they are interested in us at this stage. Going to have the checks done and medical before prep course but i can't see there being a problem with any of them, well unless me putting on a few pounds this year being one...oops!
I really feel things are starting now and am just over the moon xx
Bee bee how did your 1st day go at prep??
Moppit i'll p/m you xx


----------



## loopy75

Hellp people    My name is Laura or Loopy don't really mind        myself and my husband Jamie are just starting the process for adoption in fact got letter to invite us to an information meeting. We are under Glasgow City Council-Familes for Children. We have just received a letter today inviting us to an information evening this month and it's slapped bang in the middle of our holidays    BUT luckily it's only 2 hours away so were just gonna travel to the meeting then go back again         Looking forward to finding out more about and also getting to know everyone on here.      Laura x    x


----------



## Boggy

Hi Loopy, welcome to the adoption board   

Adopting is hard work, but the most rewarding thing ever.   

I adopted through Glasgow City Council and highly highly recommend them. We have had an excellent experience with them.  Is it the under 2's team you have applied to?  

If you have any questions about adopting, feel free to post them here or start a new thread and we will do our best to answer.  If there is anything specific about Glasgow then feel free to PM me.

You may wish to be careful about what info you post about yourself - you mention both your "real" names and where you live which would make you identifiable to any Social workers reading the board (not that I think they do!) but just to be one the safe side,   

Bx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Moppit - thank you chick!  We're home from our first day - treated ourselves to a chinese ( something we rarely do!), and are writing up our homework from the day although I have just popped on to check my emails!  It was so different to how I imagined.  There are only 4 couples including us and it is incredibly friendly.  I have shocked myself with my confidence in answering questions and getting involved so I am feeling much more positive about it.  I really do hope you hear something soon chick xxx

Anj - thank you for your reassurance! I was a bit worried that there wouldn't be anyone close to us as we are applying to adopt through a VA and this covers the whole of the south east too, but there are a couple quite close to us and they are actually the ones we get on with best! xxx

Libby - fantastic news!!!  I hope you have your date and it's not too far away!!  Today was good - very interesting - we have already started to think hard about actually going for a slightly older age group than we had at first said we would and biggest shock is J has almost changed his mind to accept sibling groups of 3 after speaking to an adoptive mother and one of the social workers!!!  xxx

Laura - good luck on your journey and welcome to the board! xxx


----------



## minmouse

Afternoon ladies,

Libby - so glad 1st visit went well, sounds like you have a great team, and I knew they woudlnt worry about the rooms.  Wont be long til prep course arrives - good luck!

Beebee - hope the course is going well, as everyone seems ot enjoy it Im looking forward to it, although Im sure it is very tiring.

Loopy - welcome to the board & good luck o your adoption journey.

Min
x


----------



## libby29

Had a bit of a wobble today and a few tears. I've been feeling so positive and so much happier lately, now we have given up on tx journey and jumped onto adoption. Thing is had parents round today and couldn't wait to show them the letter from sw and have a chat about everything. Well they really burst my bubble! Mum read it out to dad and then put it down and just pointed out every negative she could think of ie, lenght of time it takes, referees, Speaking to ex wife, meeting grand parents, letter box contact ect. All of which i am well aware of and have informed my mum of before so it wasn't as if she didn't know. She didnt say anything positive and didn't even say well done for getting over the first hurdle infact seemed like she thought it was all just one big pain. I asked my dad what he thought and he just said oh i dont know i was watching the telly. I feel just so upset that something so important to me was treated so lamely by my own parents. I went very quiet and nipped to the kitchen for a few tears as i was in shock. Mum came in and seems surprised at me being upset. I said i just wanted them to be happy for me and to feel as positive about this as we do. Why just point out all the draw backs when i need support? and why doesnt dad care? She said dad gets confused and she fills him in. Surely though a little interest isn't too much to ask. Mum said they are pleased for us but didn't realise how tough it would be even though i have told her all these things. Then she started blabbing on about all these babies she's delivered at work ( she's a midwife, yeah i know cruel twist of fate!)and all these lovely names people have chosen. Another thing she knows upsets me as i'll never get to choose. Just such a negative day and i feel so low now. Its made me feel that maybe they aren't really keen on this after all and if they say these things to me what the hell will they say to the sw on hs? 
sorry this post is very me, me, me!
This site is like therapy! lol


----------



## Tarango

Hi Libby

 

have sent you a PM

xxx


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## Maccer

Hi,

libby29-I have no advice but just wanted to send you    ,  I hope your parents come around, maybe closer to matching or panel they will be more understanding and excited for you, my parents were very apprehensive in the beginning, but I just kept on talking about it, they then seemed to accept that this is what I have set my heart and mind too and either they are going to be with me or against me, I hope you are feeling a bit better today.

Bee Bee, hope your course is going well? its really great that you got onto one so quickly, glad you have a great group too.

Hello to all the newbies, hope your journey goes smoothly.
Hello to everyone else, hope your adoption journeys are making some kind of progress?   .  Not much news on my side, CRB's have been sent off just waiting for a letter to say we need to book our medicals and then we should be booked on a prep course after that, hopefully.

Take Care

Mx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Libby....I just wanted to send you a big  

Hopefully they'll have gone away and thought about it, and will return more positive and supportive.
I know it's hard but please try to not let it get you down.
As someone who has also had multiple IVF attempts, I can tell you that the adoption journey is so much more a positive and happy one than that which many of us have endured through tx.
It very soon feels like the path you were MEANT to take from the start, and feels so right.
It may take your Mum a bit of time to come around to that too, but hopefully soon she will be onboard right there next to you with her support and encouragement.
Big hugs to you  x

Luv Anj x


----------



## eknowles

libby i really dont know what to say and find this very upsetting for you.  maybe they were just trying to protect you in their own way sending you lots of    
bee - how did the prep course go good i hope!!! just another step closer for you both 
moppit, anje, laura, min, b(hope not missed anyone) hi and hope you all had a good weekend. 
well i got the adoption story book on sat and have read it cover to cover already.  i must admit even when reading the down sides and struggles they encountered i feel more and more positive we are going along the right track and am really at ease with the decision we have made. 
and today we have received our letter stating we had been asigned a social worker and they will contact us in next few weeks to arrange home visit.  it includes a list of things that will be covered.  all seems fine except medical issues.  it mentions depression and anti depressants.  i have been prescribed 2 lots of anti depressants (ony for a couple of months) the last being 9 years ago following my divorce and bullying from work.  my dh has also been on mendication (for approx a year) over 12 years ago after an overdose.  since then he has been absolutely fine and infact is more positive than anyone i know.  i am just worried now that we are going to be refused due to being depressed years and years ago when trying to deal with major upset in our lives at a young age.  
does anyone have any info/ thoughts on this as we are both happy stable bubbly people and appreciate the value of feelings. 
thanks 
em xx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Libby - I was going to say that maybe your Mum is feeling protective towards you - it has only been a month since your m/c and any mother would want you to take time to grieve before making any big decisions - I know it might feel like she is raining on your parade but it could also be that she is just being protective too.  Sending you lots of hugs xxx

Maccer - I hope that you hear something soon.  We were shocked at how soon we were on the prep course but I am guessing as it's a VA it may be a bit different?  Plus it's been almost 2 years since our last tx so I am guessing that wasn't an issue either xxx

Anj- only one month to panel!  That will go so quickly now! xxx

Eknowles - glad to hear you enjoyed the book!  As for you and hubby it really can depend on each agency but they will be able to advise you as to whether or not it will be.  They will look at how you both handled it etc.  What to Expect When You're Adopting has useful infor on these situations and I believe Maria James in the Adoption Diary had a similar issue xxx

Ended up taking half the day off work today - had my dr's appointment and turns out I have another chest infection which explains why I have felt so poorly!  In a way it was a god send as the weekend was quite draining in terms of the information we took on board etc xxx


----------



## sweets x

hiya peeps

Libby29- Hope you are feeling better today hun, parents say things without thinking at times. Not too long after i'd had my m/c, my mum showed me a picture of my cousins baby, think it would make me feel better 
Sure they mean well in their own way.

Beebee- hopr course goes ok hunny

Maccer- hows you Still not got round to doing my chart thingie you sent me, waiting to get more print cartridges for computer. Hope your doing ok.

eknowles- not sure about the deppresants but do think its along time ago so wouldn't think it was a problem. I had councelling earlier this year and when we were at open evening she implied it was positive to be taking action, at least your sorted the problem by addressing it...hope i haven't waqffled and you can understand what i'm trying to say lol

Hi to everyone else.

Well, rang adoption place last weds to see if they had our application and the guy who was dealing with it was on his jollies...always the case. However, he was back today, s/w rang, got 1st home visit on the 19th june....yipee. things are happening.

Have ordered a few books from library and 4 off internet so gonna have lots of reading to do.

Have any off you been on 1st aid courses Have looked into it and its £200 for a 1st aid course for young children and i thought that was quite dear?!?!

Anyhow, take care 

nicola x x


----------



## Arrows

Hiya. I'm new to this particular thread.

I had my last IVF in Feb and have recently emailed to get more info from my local adoption team and try and get in early for application but waiting to hear back from them. Assuming they say wait the full 6mths since treatment we'll get our application in, in August. I've done a lot of reading up already but be good to have people in the same boat to talk to!

Rachel


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone, hope everyone is okay


Well, got some news, We have been allocated a social worker and our adoption assessment starts next Tuesday 15th June 2010. I am excited but nervous too.      


Will let you know our journey 


Hi Rachel welcome.


Libby    

Hi too everyone else   

Sonia xxx


----------



## katie c

hi everyone. been a bit AWOL as been at work/out a lot recently. and also have had nothing much to say!


sonia/nicola - woo and indeed hoo! great news for you both   

rachel - hello there! welcome to the thread. are you hypo or hyper btw? i'm hyper and taking carbimazole

ek - i'm sure the depression won't be an issue as you've both recognised your condition taken positive steps to get help which is really healthy   

beeeeeeb - boo to the chest infection   glad it didn't interfere with the course though

libby - sorry your mum upset you. mine was a bit funny at first, although that was a long time ago, as i was thinking of it even before IVF. beebee makes an excellent point though that she may be just worried about you though   

anje - glad your experience has been positive so far   

maccer - hope you get some news soon   


hi to anyone i've missed!

AFM, three days off work, yay! will try and do a bit more homework i think


----------



## Arrows

Katie, I was hyper with Graves from 14-19 had carbimazole at first, then block and replace. When I was 19 I had radioactive iodine (very disappointed I didn't glow!) and turned hypo within 6mths. I'm now on 175ug thyroxine daily.

Thanks for the welcome


----------



## Maccer

Morning,

Bee_Bee -  I am so thrilled things are moving so quick for you, I hope your chest infection clears up soon, and you enjoyed your prep course.

eKnowles - sorry I don't know anything about anti D's but I just wanted to wish you luck on your journey.

Nicolax - CONGRATS   on your initial visit I will be thinking of you, I have sent you an email with my experiences hope it helps, let us know how it goes.  I am doing fine thanks hun, trying to keep busy, have an interview next Friday (18th) for volunteering, so   I get it, How are you doing? 

Sonia7 - CONGRATS to you too, your must be so pleased, hope things move quickly for you.

RachelClare - Welcome to the forum, if you have any questions, just ask, everyone on here is extremely helpful.

Katiec -Thanks, enjoy your days off.  Hope you are keeping well?

Hello to anyone I might of missed.

Mx


----------



## Anjelissa

Morning all,

Sonia....Congratulations on being allocated a SW, once you begin the HS it then feels like the home stretch to panel doesn't it! Lots of luck for your assessment.

Nicola....That's great that you have a date for your first home visit, lots of luck for 19th.
As for First Aid courses, I'm a qualified First Aider through work, and although my work pay for the course, I have seen the invoices, and am always surprised how much they cost  , so £200 is prob the norm' unfortunately. The knowledge is so valuable though, and it's such a good thing to do, I've used it so many times. I think your SW will see it as a great qualification for you to have. 

Rachelclare....Welcome to the thread  There are so many people here at different stages and a wealth of knowledge and support, I'm sure you'll feel right at home in no time. Lots of luck to you for the start of your adoption journey  

Katie c....I hope you're enjoying your days off. I'm on the 2nd of 3 days off too atm, although I was at the nursery this morning (where I volunteer), and we have a SW visit tomorrow, so it's not entirely restful  . Nice not to be at work though!  

Hi to everyone else, I hope you are all well 

Less than a month now till panel for us!!!! Yayyyyyy! 

Catch you all soon,

Luv Anj x


----------



## libby29

Hi girls! haven't got a lot of time to write tonight but i just wanted to say thanks for all your words of advice and kindness.
Rachelclare8 i'm in the same boat hun, just starting out and gathering as much info as i can. This site is fab for that and everyone is so friendly. Goodluck.
Sorry i cant say hello to everyone personally tonight but gonna have a soak in the tub. Phoned sw today and down for november prep course yay!


----------



## ❣Audrey

Nicola - Yay for the home visit!  xxx

Rachel - welcome to the thread! Everyone here is very friendly and supportive! xxx

Sonia - fantastic news chick xxx

Katie - enjoy your days off work chick! xxx

Maccer - how are you chick? xxx

Anji!  Yay!! xxx

Libby - enjoy your soak! Glad you have a date for prep course xxx


----------



## Maccer

Hi Bee_Bee,

I am fine thanks chick, can't wait to read all about your prep course.  How is your chest infection, all cleared up I hope.  I have an interview with a childrens learning centre next week Friday to volunteer there on the weekends, I am hoping that they will take me on, means more CRB checks, which shouldn't be a problem, just worried about getting my checks back from South Africa, they are a bit busy with something else at the moment, can't seem to remember what it is?  Hope you are feeling better.

Take care,

Mx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Maccer - my chest infection is getting better thanks - although mostly due to having another attack yesterday which I was kind of expecting but at least I am on the mend!  I have a date through to see the immunologist now so that is reassuring!  What did you want to know about the prep course?  So much I could tell you about lol!

How is everyone else doing? xxx


----------



## thespouses

I haven't been in for aaaaaages and most of you have probably forgotten me!

Anyway thought it would be good to chat - we were approved as overseas adopters from X country, one child or twins (help!) aged 0-3, on the 4th May (our 6th Anniversary was on the 1st so great present!).

We have to send our paperwork to the DCSF where it is now languishing, this takes 10-12 weeks, during which time we have to identify an overseas agency.  We have already spoken to one which is OK but not perfect, and are waiting to have a phone conference with another one on I think the 23rd June. Of course there's a whole new set of forms for that agency too! I feel sorry for the trees.


----------



## Moppit

Dear The Spouses

Huge congratulations on your approval. You must be thrilled. Really interesting to have someone on the boards who is moving forward with intercountry as I think most of us on here are going for domestic. I am now in two minds whether we made a mistake on this as it seems like its going to be a very long wait for domestic but think that we are too late to change our minds...!

What country are you going for?

Good luck with all the paper work!

Moppit x


----------



## thespouses

Oh, we'll have a long wait too, make no mistake - it is just a better outcome we hope all round. We had a slightly shorter wait for approval due to our area's ICA being done through quite a good VA, but without the restrictions associated with going through a VA (we'll have access to a bit of a wider range of children - especially to younger children).

And of course it costs a lot but we can see where all the money is going and we hope it will be worth it.


----------



## Boggy

Hi ladies


Just giving you a bit of notice that as your thread is now on page 80-something, I'm planning to lock this one and start you off on a new one in a couple of days time. 


Thought I'd better give you a bit of notice   


Bx


----------



## ❣Audrey

thespouses - congratulations on your approval!

Moppit how are you?

Boggy - thank you for the pre-warning!  How are you doing?

We went to our VA's family fun day today.  We were the only couple from our prep course to attend so were a bit like fish out of water!  But actually it was amazing - we met adoptive families as well as those going through the process too and we both really enjoyed it xxx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps

Beebee- glad you seem to be getting better hun, want to know all about prep course too so get typing lol x

Boggy- hope your ok, hope you haven't locked this yet!

The spouses- hope you get sorted with an agency soon.

Racheal- welcome to the thread hunny x

Maccer- hi hunny, thanks for the e-mail, have showed it dh. Also, been getting a bit carried away on ebay and amazon with the books lol. Am off work now till after home visit so will be doing plenty of reading and tidying up. Hope your interview goes ok, let us know.

Anj- Have found a 2 day course at my community centre, £80, which is brill and is still proper certificates etc...
Not long till panel, are you nervous or excited, or both lol

Libby and moppit- hope you both ok x x

Take care

nicola x x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Nic - I have typed up about it in my diary chick !!

how are you doing?  Not long to go now!

How is everyone else today?  xxx


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## loopy75

HI people        Just to let you know I got letter confirming information evening 22nd June which is smack bang in the middle of the holidays but were going away in our folding camper van and only about 2 and half ours away so were just gonna come back for meeting then go back to site. Spoke to Anne at Families for Children to find out when next meeting would be but it wouldn't be till end of August, don't want to wait that long so were just gonna travel back.    Looking forward to the meeting as feel it's the first rung on adoption ladder and will get a better in sight to our future journey          Hope you are all well.    Loopy x


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## herbaltea

Hi everyone! Hope you all have had a fab weekend 

Reading previous posts as I haven't been on here for a while!!!!

Little update from me......it seems my va have now requested my medical forms (now awaiting outcome as to whether I can proceed!) and my LA (who seem a bit more organised!) have organised an initial visit for THIS Tuesday! Fingers crossed I may be on the adoption road soon.......have been waiting since january!! :O

Hope everyones okay - will get reading now


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## ❣Audrey

Loopy - fab news!!! 

HT - wow - so I am guessing you will stay with the LA now?  I'm glad stuff is moving on for you now chick xxx


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## Boggy

New home this way..........

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=239227.0

Bx


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