# Newbie, 36 with "unexplained infertility"



## Rachel SP (Oct 15, 2013)

Hello Everyone,

My partner and I have been trying to conceive for nearly two years and have recently been diagnosed with unexplained infertility which I particularly am having a hard time coming to terms with.  I had a very stressful job until July and since not having that I thought we would have more luck, but we haven't.  Just in the last couple of months I've started to get more and more low when my period comes and am finding it difficult seeing friends who are pregnant or with babies.  I'm a bit irregular so that makes it difficult working out when I'm ovulating - we tried Ovul Sticks and had intercourse when I was ovulating but no luck and it seemed to put more pressure on so we haven't tried it since.  We have an appointment at our fertility clinic in a couple of weeks when we'll go through treatment options but they told us last time (August) that we're now on the list for IVF treatment).  I really hope there might be other options of treatment - I heard great things about Clomid (and in fact was given a prescription  (now lost) for it eight months ago when I was living in a different area at another PCT - we didn't get the pills as we wanted to carry on trying naturally, but now we're having no luck - ) I really hope we can get prescribed it as I understand it's more difficult to get now.  Just the idea of going into IVF without any other treatments is really scarey.  We're due to begin in March.  If everything is medically normal between us, have others of you had other treatments aside from IVF?  Any advice would be great please.  Sorry for the rambly nature of this message, it's just been my first time to try to explain all the horrible mess in my head and ask for help with others who know how difficult this all is...thanks for reading and I'm really hoping for any advice anyone can give.  Thanks so much.

Rach


----------



## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

Also 'unexplained', I went into IVF without having had any other treatments, I was told given my age (41 at the time) there wasn't time to experiment with other things, at the time I was terrified it seemed a really drastic thing. But I had no idea how many people have IVF how it is done many times a day... it's actually better to do it sooner rather than later if you are going to do it. SO jump in! my only regret was not starting sooner. Once you start your treatment it will go quickly (until you get to a two week wait to see if you are pregnant though!) and is just a routine you get into. So just get your weight in the right area, take your vitamins and enjoy having your jeans fit - ivf makes you a bit bloated! It might not work first time (mine didn't) so don't be despondant if it takes a couple of goes to get your drugs right. It's not a big scary thing it is a great opportunity - it takes all the pressure off trying naturally, it felt for me like I could finally relax and professionals were going to help me get pregnant instead of that horrible rollercoaster of hope and despair every month with no visible end. 
  good luck !


----------



## Rachel SP (Oct 15, 2013)

Thanks very much Goldbunny!  That is reassuring and very helpful.  I think I'm most concerned because in our area we only get 1 round of IVF on NHS and am daunted by idea of trying to find money for private hospital...but I guess we will need to if it comes to that.  Thanks again for your reply - and I really hope you've been lucky or will be very very soon.  Rachx


----------



## Rachel SP (Oct 15, 2013)

Sorry - I really am new to all of this...I've just seen what I think are your baby's details by your name, so yes, you were lucky - many congrats to you!


----------



## Abijay (Oct 14, 2013)

Hello. I am also a Newby, I'm 37 with unexplained infertility. I have been trying for 4 years now and have had a bit of investigation but have just started IVF. In my 4 years I had 2 pregnancies that ended in early miscarriage so I am still classed as unexplained infertility because of it's infrequency. I had a test to check my falopian tubes are open as well as various hormonal tests, but as my tests didnt point to any obvious cause I didnt have any treatment. Ditto with the miscarriages. So I have ploughed on into IVF. I find the NHS approach to infertility a little puzzling, with very few dots joined up between miscarriage clinics, infertility clinics and IVF, and little time dedicated to understanding fertility in a more holistic way. I also see an acupuncturist which I feel is helping improve my overall health in anticipation of pregnancy. 

So I'm on the track to IVF (taking hormones at the moment). It feels like using a sledgehammer to crack a nut but I cant see any other way and I'm getting old!  So, no real answer to your questions just sympathy and a sense of 'me too!'.


----------



## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

48,147 women had IVF treatment in 2011. So you are not alone! 



(a UK figure I think, not global)


----------



## Rachel SP (Oct 15, 2013)

Thanks Abijay - that sense of solidarity is very reassuring. I wish you the very best of luck with the IVF, fingers crossed.

Rachx



Abijay said:


> Hello. I am also a Newby, I'm 37 with unexplained infertility. I have been trying for 4 years now and have had a bit of investigation but have just started IVF. In my 4 years I had 2 pregnancies that ended in early miscarriage so I am still classed as unexplained infertility because of it's infrequency. I had a test to check my falopian tubes are open as well as various hormonal tests, but as my tests didnt point to any obvious cause I didnt have any treatment. Ditto with the miscarriages. So I have ploughed on into IVF. I find the NHS approach to infertility a little puzzling, with very few dots joined up between miscarriage clinics, infertility clinics and IVF, and little time dedicated to understanding fertility in a more holistic way. I also see an acupuncturist which I feel is helping improve my overall health in anticipation of pregnancy.
> 
> So I'm on the track to IVF (taking hormones at the moment). It feels like using a sledgehammer to crack a nut but I cant see any other way and I'm getting old! So, no real answer to your questions just sympathy and a sense of 'me too!'.


----------



## Rachel SP (Oct 15, 2013)

Thank-you!!!



goldbunny said:


> 48,147 women had IVF treatment in 2011. So you are not alone!


----------



## Haydan (Oct 12, 2013)

Hi there, 

Just wanted to make a suggestion - you sound like you have alot of questions unanswered by your doctors. i found it all quite overwhelming when i first found out we were being referred for IUI treatment and as I had no idea what it was, what it entailed, side effects of drugs, disruption to our lives etc so a made a list of all the questions swimming around my head on paper and took it to my next appointment to make sure i remembered to ask everything. 

it really helped me to better understand what was going on and why they were suggesting the IUI treatment as i had heard stories of other fertility treatment thats less invasive being used. but once they explained their reasons it made more sense to me.

We are all unique in how our bodies work and personal situations and this all affects what treatment will be our best chance at conceiving.

Wishing you all the best


----------



## Rachel SP (Oct 15, 2013)

Hello Haydan,

Thanks for your reply. Yes, I do have a lot of questions swimming around..I think I'm more all over the place in my thinking today as AF's arrived early and I had everything crossed. I will note down my questions and take them along to our appt, good idea.

I wish you lots of luck for your IUI treatment.

Rachx



Haydan said:


> Hi there,
> 
> Just wanted to make a suggestion - you sound like you have alot of questions unanswered by your doctors. i found it all quite overwhelming when i first found out we were being referred for IUI treatment and as I had no idea what it was, what it entailed, side effects of drugs, disruption to our lives etc so a made a list of all the questions swimming around my head on paper and took it to my next appointment to make sure i remembered to ask everything.
> 
> ...


----------



## Haydan (Oct 12, 2013)

Sorry AF has arrived - i know the feeling of being all over the place - the last few times i've had AF i swear i cant remember what i did all day im in so much of a daze.

good luck for the future


----------



## Rachel SP (Oct 15, 2013)

Thanks for your kind words Haydan.


----------



## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

to FF, Rach!!! Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you.

We have been marked down as unexplained as well. I think it is a hard diagnosis to come to terms with, there is the feeling that because we aren´t conceiving naturally there must be something wrong (law of averages and suchlike), the doctors just can´t find it, it is so frustrating. I did ask the clinic if there were any more tests they could do, and they said there were, but the chances that they would find something are so minimal that it wasn't worth doing. They could do test after test after test, but in the meantime my biological clock was ticking. My hubby has a different view of it, he thinks that sometimes things happen (or don't happen, in this case!) there doesn´t have to be a reason. In the years since diagnosis we haven't been able to agree!

I lost a couple of friends because they couldn´t understand why I couldn't spend as much time with them when they were pregnant or had babies, they took it personally.

I had 5 failed IUI cycles before switching to IVF and it worked first time (when I was the same age as you are now!)

Here are a few links that I think might help you, either now or in the future.

Coping With Infertility ~ CLICK HERE

Trying To Conceive Naturally with Fertility / Health Issues ~  CLICK HERE

Ovulation Induction, Clomid & Tamoxifen ~ CLICK HERE

Unexplained ~CLICK HERE

Questions for your first cycle consultation ~ (use the ones that apply) CLICK HERE

IVF General chat ~ CLICK HERE

Keep a diary of your treatment (or read the experiences of others) ~ CLICK HERE

Cycle Buddies (undergoing treatment at the same time) - CLICK HERE

Regional ~ CLICK HERE

What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~   CLICK HERE

Chat Zone section which will give you info on upcoming chats in the chat room: CLICK HERE

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it.

Good luck!           

Sue


----------



## butterflyinjuly (Oct 14, 2013)

Hi there,

I'm also a newbie on here and just wanted to say welcome too.

After a good 18+ months of being positive, trying to relax, we've now reached a bit of a critical point. Like you, I am finding it difficult seeing friends who are pregnant or with babies. For some reason I don't understand I find pregnant friends the hardest (particularly when they keep going on about it!! ), whereas children who have been in our lives a while (especially nieces & nephews) are delightful to be around, they are just part of our lives and they help. And like you, it has started to make the actual TTC stressful.

To answer your question about tx prior to IVF, no I haven't had anything specific either. I'm also 36 like you (young in fertility terms, they keep telling me!!), I had investigations (HSG) which were all clear, 6 cycles of clomid which was looking back really helpful in establishing cycle, plus things like herbs and acupuncture. I'm now jumping to IVF as my AMH has dropped to 7.7 at a recent test. Sadly time to admit we need to throw something more medical at the problem :-(

I hope it helps, not sure it will be telling you any information you don't already know, but if nothing else might help to think someone else is in the same boat. 

Take care of yourself and good luck
x


----------



## Perla (Feb 20, 2013)

Hi Rachel. We have also been ttc for 2 years, I have pcos but no other problems with either of us. I have been on clomid for 6 months, 3 months on 50 mg and currently on my 6 ths month of taking it now taking 100mg.
Have you had a hsg done ?
It is a very hard time isnt it, I find it difficult with pregnant friends, I do not know if it is better or worse to tell people. 
I hope you make some progress soon x


----------



## Rachel SP (Oct 15, 2013)

Dear Sue,

Thanks so much for your reply and for the very helpful links you've given below. The feeling of support and connection is invaluable. I'm so happy you had a wondeful outcome. I hope you're enjoying being a mom and thanks again for taking the time to respond with kindness and the helpful info - I'll certainly check the links out.

Very Best,

Rachelx



Wraakgodin said:


> to FF, Rach!!! Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you.
> 
> We have been marked down as unexplained as well. I think it is a hard diagnosis to come to terms with, there is the feeling that because we aren´t conceiving naturally there must be something wrong (law of averages and suchlike), the doctors just can´t find it, it is so frustrating. I did ask the clinic if there were any more tests they could do, and they said there were, but the chances that they would find something are so minimal that it wasn't worth doing. They could do test after test after test, but in the meantime my biological clock was ticking. My hubby has a different view of it, he thinks that sometimes things happen (or don't happen, in this case!) there doesn´t have to be a reason. In the years since diagnosis we haven't been able to agree!
> 
> ...


----------



## Rachel SP (Oct 15, 2013)

Hello there,

Thanks very much for your reply and for the warm welcome.

My partner and I have an appointment with the fertility clinic on Wednesday and are hoping to get clomid, to try that first before IVF. I've been in touch with a few other friends last week who've conceived in the last year or so...in fact hearing about so many more "science babies" (via IVF) has made me much more positive and optimistic about getting to the IVF stage. Someone even said that it kinda takes the pressure off of the couple.

Very nice to know we're in the same boat. I wish you all the very best with the IVF and have fingers crossed that your Science Baby (or the naturally conceived one - that I've heard happens so often just before IVF starts) is on its way soon.

Very Best,

Rachelx



butterflyinjuly said:


> Hi there,
> 
> I'm also a newbie on here and just wanted to say welcome too.
> 
> ...


----------



## Rachel SP (Oct 15, 2013)

Hello Perla,

Thanks for your response. I'm sorry to hear you've been having difficulties too. Yes, I did have an HSG done - all is clear on that front.

Yes, as you say, being around pregnant friends I feel is the most tough, especially when their pregnancies have been completely accidental!! I'm happy for them but also so sad for myself and my partner. I know what you mean about not knowing whether to tell people. In a way I wish I hadn't mentioned we were trying to some people in our first year as I feel that they know we're "failing" in our attempt at conceiving which can feel tricky. Oh well, I think close friends empathise most...in fact my best friend is also now trying to conceive - she's 6 months in and is finding that a bit tricky - mutual support is the most important thing I think.

I really hope that you have progress too. Are you considering IVF?

Thanks again for getting in touch,

Rachelx



Perla said:


> Hi Rachel. We have also been ttc for 2 years, I have pcos but no other problems with either of us. I have been on clomid for 6 months, 3 months on 50 mg and currently on my 6 ths month of taking it now taking 100mg.
> Have you had a hsg done ?
> It is a very hard time isnt it, I find it difficult with pregnant friends, I do not know if it is better or worse to tell people.
> I hope you make some progress soon x


----------



## Perla (Feb 20, 2013)

Hello Rachel,
Good that your hsg was clear then, when I had mine it was so painful that I thought there must be something wrong but mine was also clear. Yes know what you mean about telling people we have told our family and a couple of friends but not many and nobody at work knows and I am always getting asked when I will have a baby and even have comments saying its about time. 
I consider anyone without fertility issues so lucky, I guess they do not realise it.
Well I guess we will see what they suggest at our next appointment. I am on my 6th month of clomid so not sure If you can take any more or even If it would work.
Have you tried any alternative therapy ? x


----------



## Rachel SP (Oct 15, 2013)

Hi Perla,

Sorry to hear that your HSG was painful - though it must have been a relief (in part) that it was clear.

I haven't told anyone at work and I get the sense that they're also wondering what's happening with me baby-wise... Yep, I totally agree about people falling pregnant without any issues. Even the term "falling" seems so enticing...instead for us it's an uphill struggle! But hopefully we will get there, just the same!
Best of luck for your next appointment - I hope their advice is helpful and that whatever they suggest for future treatment brings you the joy you deserve. Nope, I haven't tried any alternative therapies...yet. I'm intrigued by the seemingly strong-evidence for acupuncture as a complementary therapy so may consider that. We have our next fertility appt on Wed so hopefully I'll get onto the Clomid and see how that goes.

Very best to you,

Rachelx



Perla said:


> Hello Rachel,
> Good that your hsg was clear then, when I had mine it was so painful that I thought there must be something wrong but mine was also clear. Yes know what you mean about telling people we have told our family and a couple of friends but not many and nobody at work knows and I am always getting asked when I will have a baby and even have comments saying its about time.
> I consider anyone without fertility issues so lucky, I guess they do not realise it.
> Well I guess we will see what they suggest at our next appointment. I am on my 6th month of clomid so not sure If you can take any more or even If it would work.
> Have you tried any alternative therapy ? x


----------



## Perla (Feb 20, 2013)

Hello, 
Thank you for your reply. 
Yes i know everyone is thinking the same of me too at work. 
I am currently having accupunture done once a week for 4 weeks, I have my second session on Wednesday, I have to say that i felt great after and think it made my period come early not that I was pleased to see it.
What area do you live ? The lady I have seen is great.
Yes oh how nice to fall pregnant, decide you may want a baby then fall in the first month... lovely for some.
Waiting does make you want it more, we have decided that If it all does work in the end we would only like to have one child unless I 'accidently' fell. 
x


----------



## Xxktxxx (Oct 22, 2013)

Hi hope your all ok. I'm new to this 2 and have no clue what I'm doing so please bear with me. I'm 33 and in the same boat as you. Unexplained and it sucks. Me and my husband had a MC 3 years ago and have been trying ever since. We are now undergoing our 1st cycle of IVF. I'm on menopur at the moment having scans every other day. How are we all feeling. It's a awful roller coaster and it's starting to get me down now. Had a lot of bleeding last night and the clinic have just told me to carry on with my meds. Has anyone else had this? 

Xxxx


----------



## Perla (Feb 20, 2013)

Hi Kathy, Sorry to hear you had a mc. I bet you feel like 3 years is forever, we have been trying for just over 2 years and that feel like long enough. 
I am on clomid but I go back next month, I am not sure what they will suggest next.
Do you have the scans on the nhs ?


----------



## Swytz (Jun 17, 2014)

Hi everyone.  Oh my gosh my first time writing anything here we go... have been ttc for about 18 months. I'm a few weeks from turning 33 eek. Had some investigation like lap done everything is good normal healthy ... unexplained infertility. How crazy is that word? We have been trying like military precision each month started off being really stressful and nothing happened so I went out got my self a better job I now love and finally this year said noooo stress have fun trying!  Still no luck. I ran a mile awsy from acupuncture did one session with Zita West but that stuff scares me too. Going to see ARGC tomorrow for a consultation we only get one round of ivf kn nhs and I want to get my facts right.  Been referred to nhs ivf too waiting for that appointment to come thru too so I can gather all the info we need. Just wondering if I shud continue trying naturally.  Am I rushing into things? ....


----------



## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

You aren´t rushing into things, Swyt, my clinic said that if you have been trying over a year with no success then you should move on to treatment. I have been marked down as unexplained, and after 5 failed IUI's, our IVF worked first time!

There is a thread called "Questions for your first cycle consultation" CLICK HERE that might help you tomorrow.

Good luck!!!             

Sue


----------



## Swytz (Jun 17, 2014)

Thanks for your reply Sue it feels like a load has lifted off my shoulders. It's just amazing to have this outlet and other couples are going thru exactly what we are. It's therapy better than my BFF who doesn't get it. So happy to hear about ur success. Lets see how it goes x


----------

