# New and terrified!



## Sulli_C (Mar 24, 2011)

Hi everybody

I am relatively new to the whole infertility thing never mind this site ... I was only diagnosed after a laparoscopy 6 months ago with infertility after ttc for 18 months. I was told that scarring from previous surgery had fused together my tubes and organs etc. Massive shock to say the least. Paid for private referrals etc to be put on the RFC waiting lists, but then, feeling there was no point in waiting decided to go to Origin. At scan there was told 2 weeks ago that I actually have bilateral hydrosalpinges, a fibroid and 2 cysts on my ovaries - although consultant not too worried by these. Left the clinic agreeing to go to planning etc before questioning the fluid in tubes thing. When did question it was told that clipping or removing the tubes can cause reduced ovarian function and antibodies around scar tissue which could kill embryo so clipping or removal of tubes maybe not best in my case where already reduced egg reserve. Am due to start meds, subject to scan, when my next AF arrives but increasingly feeling like it is just going to be a total waste of time. Doctors tell me hydro affects chances by 5% but everything I read says 50%. I do trust the doctors - I don't think I have been given any reason not to. I tell myself there is no rhyme or reason to IVF working / not working for anybody so don't get into the statistics thing. But I can't help feeling so disheartened before I even start and am veering between on a good day preparing myself for 6 cycles and on a bad day wondering what I am putting myself through even this for. Think I just need a kick up the backside!


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## Jen xx (Mar 14, 2011)

Hey hun

So sorry ur feelin so down and I can only imagine how u must feel after everythin uve been told!!our reason for icsi treatment was cos my hubby had a low sperm count,that on its own came as a massive shock to us so I can only try and imagine how ur feelin!!when we started the ivf journey I never let myself think it would or it wouldn't work,we kept ourselves busy and had plenty of 'us' time and talked about it as and when we felt we needed to!!that's one thing u need to make sure u do,don't bottle anythin up otherwise u will let it build and build and leave urself feelin like uve the weight of the world on ur shoulders!!we had been tryin almost 6yrs and just decided 'wat will be will be' if it hadn't of worked for us I no we wouldve been ok cos we have such a great relationship and that's cos we talk talk talk!!sometimes I wonder how we find so much to talk about lol!!

Really just wanna wish u all the luck in the world and if u ever need to chat then u will always have us lot on here!!I found this site a godsend and have made some really great friends thru it,although haven't met anyone its always good to have them here!!

Good luck pet!!

Jenna xx


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## Jillyhen (Dec 17, 2009)

Sulli

Welcome to the forum hun.. The girls here are fantastic..

Sorry you didnt get good news at your appt. I agree with what Jen says finding out there is problems is a kick in the teeth but for us we have unexplained infertility which is harder as we both know there is not a thing wrong with either of us.. I had ivf at the same time as Jen but unfortunately it didnt work out for us. We have now decided to go again and are goin to origin tomorrow for inital assessment, as we signed a letter for the rfc deciding to postpone treatment there for 6 months..

Good luck in your journey hun 

Jillyhen x


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## Dannii_Doots (Jun 11, 2010)

Hiya sulli 

I completly understand what you are going through, i cant tell you what to do but i can tell you my story.

i had a bad infection after my daughter was born and it destroyed my insides but i didnt know this until years later.
so i had a lapndye in 09 and was diagnosed with blocked tubes and adhesions 
went through ivf and ended up very ill with too many eggs, so had a review a few wks later was scanned and hydros were found, most probably the ivf drugs caused them. so i was told by prof mc clure that i could go ahead with the frozen transfer or have the tubes removed. we went with his advice and they were completly removed at the end of sept along with adhesions. after the op they told me that the fluid burst out of one tube and the other was badly twisted but still had lots of fluid. so an embryo would have had no chance and that i was actually improving my fertility. was also told that sometimes the ovaries can be damaged but luckily everything went well for me. the decision was maybe slightly easier for me as i have 17 ice babies.. but i'm not going to lie it was the hardest decision i've ever had to make as being sterilised hurts me so much mentally  but on the other hand my tubes were lowering my chances, no matter how big or small the %. at the end of the day no-one but you can make the decision. i dont think there is a right or wrong way, you have to be comfortable with what you decide. 

good luck hun x


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