# adopted child's name - changing the spelling



## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

has anyone done this or heard of this being allowed?

i'm mega jumping the gun here but we are in provisional talks about a match with a little boy aged about nine months 

his name isn't one i'd've chosen but its growing on me, and it can be shortened down to a name that's quite cool for a teen. <mega thinking ahead!> however, while i thought it was quite a common name, a quick google shows it being in the top 100-200 catagory which surprised me.

since that rubbish corrie storyline with faye and her birth dad, i'm mega paranoid that he could be tracked down when he's older. i know, i know 

so i was wondering how SS would feel about us using an alternate spelling? this would change his initial too but sound identical.


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

This is a very tricky subject and one that you would need to discuss with your SW.
A lot of SWs do not like you changing their names as its a link to their birth family...............saying this all how ever we changed our DD name completely, we kept her birth name as her middle name and we had full backing of all SWS involved. (11 years ago now)
I do know people have changed the spelling of the name before so just have a chat with your SW.
You will be surprised at how names grow on you and what you think is unusual isn't really....I work with children and you should hear some of their names...LOL...........also a lot of parents do spell traditional names as I call them unusually...............I can think of a very good example but would get shot if I wrote it on here as it would not be professional of me!
exciting times ahead for you!

Andrea
x


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## Tishtashtwoteeth (Aug 24, 2011)

Our little boy has a well known name, which wasn't spelt traditionally so we changed the spelling. Our SW was supportive of this decision and we felt it made him less traceable. I can't imagine it will be a problem if you explain your reasons why.


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## Dreams do come true (Jan 4, 2012)

We are the same, one of our lo'svname is spelt an odd way so we are changing the spelling based on sw advice x


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

thanks so far for the replies ladies! see, the name doesn't have a 'wacky' spelling and tbh until i googled it to see what it means (nothing, seemingly   ) the alternate spelling probably wouldn't have occured to me. 

so i think this little boy's spelling is the 'norm' but on the same token the alternative isn't ridiculous either. think, say, Kieran and Ciaran. 

So tbh i wouldn't be changing it for any other reason than a touch of paranoia and that i kinda of like it spelt the other way. Maybe a touch of me wanting to merge keeping his birth name and putting our stamp on it?

anyway it's all academic isn't it, it hasn't even been agreed we're getting him yet!


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

just bouncing my own thread to see if anyone else had any thoughts.

the topic has come up again as we're filling out his adoption forms.

mr c would prefer the current spelling, mainly as its 'his' name and that his b'day cards etc have that name. but he says if i feel really strongly about changing he's ok with it...

i just like the idea of that bit more anonimity (i posted on another thread that his BM has 'master c's mummy' as her ** middle name) and i can just imagine her trying to track him down in years to come. our surname is very unusual and if SS let it slip (which wouldnt atonish me) potentially she could find him in about 30 seconds flat. if they are to meet i want it to be on his terms/instigation, not hers.

and of course i think it looks nicer spelt the alternate way   which is deeply shallow of me, but hey-ho. i love initial nicknames (like AJ) and with the new initial this would work well. the shortening also looks better the alternate way. and lastly, he currently has the same initial as me, both names end with the same sound. our names sound very similar (my name isnt really katie   ) and it kind of looks like i named him after myself.   the change of spelling would counteract that a tad.

so wwyd?


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

I would change given your feelings the only issue for me is that dh is unsure. I think you need to both feel comfortable with the decision x x


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

Yeah I know what you're saying Diva. And his reasons are as valid as mine too...

Gah, what to do?!


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

We were going to change the spelling of our daughter's very unusual name to make it at least appear less traceable on paper. Now because of issues that have arisen it will be her middle name and we've changed her first name, therefore we're keeping the spelling the same so that it's not alien to her when she sees her paperwork , life story book, photo album from birth etc in years to come. We're keeping our little boy's name as it's pretty mainstream but the two together and having discovered BPs have fairly strong links to our area are very traceable. Our daughter's original name can also be altered to make it sound like a common product on the market and when we first found out about her and said her name everyone we told independently made the same joke. Really don't want to subject her to a lifetime of that!


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Our son's name had to be changed completely, as it was a unique, 'made-up' name, and there were security issues in his background.  It was already in the pipeline when we were matched, and we were asked which spelling of his new name we preferred.


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

Our BB had a name that can be a little chavvy IMO but also has a more traditional spelling, we have changed it to the traditional spelling with SS's blessing, it will make him less easy to track and it fits in with his Grampy's background iyswim?  We're also giving him a new middle name.  We discussed how he might feel later in life, as things from his early days will have the old spelling but from now on it will be new spelling but I think we can honestly say it was for his benefit and we think he'll understand.  There are potential security issues so that was partly why SS supported our decision.

When it comes down to it, you can choose any name/spelling for when you have the AO granted, SS can advise but they really can't stop you from changing it if that's what you want.  xxx


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

Just been to a talk by an adoptee, a little different as it was a complete change of name but she said the one thing she has really struggled with has been the her adoptive parents changed her name, she said it felt like it was a complete change of identity.

Saying that though I think had our son came to us as a baby I would have loved to change the spelling of his name as it is a typical name in my cultural background but with a different spelling.

Our daughter to be is coming with a multitude of middle names and I would like to change them to just one that we have given her, hubby thinks we should keep them as it's her identity, think we shall wait until a later date to work this one out!!


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## Smudgey (Mar 13, 2012)

Our LO has an unusually spelt first name , that with security issues the SS team have suggested a change of first name and use the birth name as a 3rd name but changed to the most common spelling ( which is only a drop of a letter off it ) . So LO will have a brand new first name and her birth 2nd name and then her birth first name as a 3rd name . LO has two siblings that have been adopted and they have both had birth names changed too . So we are lucky that we have been able to pick a new name  

Think you need to go with your heart but also have LO feelings in mind ?


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

I think a lot of it depends on what reason it's being changed for.  Explaining to Bug that we had to change his name to keep him safe seems like it's going to be easy for us - that one's not a judgement call, the risk to him is a real and ugly reality.  Explaining we changed it because we didn't like it or it was 'a bit chavvy' might be a much harder explanation.


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