# Article in Guardian - TX & Time off work!



## janeup (Jan 15, 2005)

Quite an interesting article in yesterday's Guardian about taking time off for fertility treatment:
http://money.guardian.co.uk/workweekly/story/0,,1788918,00.html

I am in the unfortunate situation of not being in an understanding environment and have chosen the _not tell my boss _ route. I know he would be horrified if he thought I was trying for a baby as I suspect he employed me thinking I was "too old for that sort of thing"....
Anyway I suspect I will take a week off during the egg collection/transfer stage to avoid confrontation! Does anybody have any advice?

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.UK or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## Lorri (Apr 17, 2005)

Take as much time off as you think you can, as the whole thing is tiring and stressful and you need to be at your fittest. I only took from EC off in both my other 2 tx, and have just taken 2 months off for no 3, but damn fsh has let me down and tx has still not started and I am due to go back in 2 weeks  . Just goes to show you can't plan for anything ! I have also chosen "not to tell" as you cannot take it back if it is not received well. I cannot afford to jeopardise my job !


----------



## elemnat (Jan 20, 2006)

hi janeup

I've just gone through icsi tx, I didnt tell my boss, (only told my assistant manager as I knew she would keep my confidence) my boss was getting pretty anoyed with me taking time off to go to hospital for scans, even though I took this time off my holiday. 
the day before ec, my assistant manager told him I wouldnt me in for a couple of days due to operation, he went ape!! Said I could take day of op (ec) off as sick but any other days would have to be holiday.
He then insisted I worked extra hours over the next couple of weeks!! (2ww) Now talk about throwing the rattle out of his pram!!

I went to my GP day after EC, explained about my boss, he immediately signed me off work for 3 weeks as 'hospital treatment'.

Have returned to work this week, my boss is on holiday (thankfully) but my assistant manager told me he did 'bully ' it out of her why I was  in and out of hospital!! But told him he was not to say a word to anybody.  so I think I will have a couple of choice words to him about his behaviour next week.  I'm sure he would tell me if somebody was messing about with his 'equipment' wouldnt he   

I had not told many people about tx, not even my family, so I was not prepared to confide in somebody who did not KNOW me outside of my work place, he is not a medical professional and as far as I'm concerned had no need to know.

Anyway, was glad to be signed off, as i got a BFP, so I think its better not to work and just relax as much as possible.


Good luck

Elaine


----------



## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

hi ya

i have to say due to enviroment i used to work in i was very honest with my previous employer as needed time off at short notice for scans for our first cycle of IUI 

i have to say it was the worst thing for me that i ever did cos it got talked about thru my office- i did tell my boss in no uncertain terms that i didnt HAVE to tell him but i did it out of repect as didnt weanna have to take sick leave hence still having hols in march to use by the end of that month due to hol yr end

we moved last june and since then i havent worked due to the fact that ttc for us now is more important then a job for me as we are currently going thru our 1st ivf and its hard enough for my dh to ask a new bvoss for time off without me too as we didnt know how soon we would start tx*we did a trail cycle in feb hence only starting now)

pls dont think all bosses are the same as my dh boss is fab- they allow him time off to come to clinic with me to every appointment and pay him for it- he works with his little bro so all they do is give them a job nr our house and leave his bro at work and i pick him up!

hugs

xxxx


----------



## janeup (Jan 15, 2005)

thank you for all these very helpful messages. I think i am going to go for the white lie approach and take a few days off sick in August + a week or two on holiday for the collection,  transfer and 2WW. Luckily I can be flexible about timing untilt the very last minute as August is so quiet here. 

I am seeing my gp on friday who is very understanding and will hopefully give me some advice on how I can take three or four days sick without them finding out my real reasons.  You see my work environment is terrible in this sort of situation and would give me no sympathy at all.  I refuse to let it upset me though and have decided to look for employment elsewhere if treatment doesn't work out this year.


----------



## Lorri (Apr 17, 2005)

Janeup,
Don't forget you can self certify for a week of sickness, so you could put what reason you like. I had a couple of sick days for my first EC and put something like gynaecological operation & recuperation. Maybe your GP will sign you off for the whole treatment, especially if your work environment is so bad. You could get signed off for stress maybe ?

Good luck

x


----------



## AlmaMay (Oct 15, 2004)

I think it is a good article.  I will definetly be shopping at ASDA more now that I know that they support IF women with paid leave for TX.

I told work about my cycle in Sept 05 after having 4 treatments without telling them.  It was fine during my cycle and I took the time off as sick whereas before I was taking time off as annual leave.  I wasn't pleased that when I told my manager she felt the need to tell her manager and the head of the dept.

Things got a little hairy in Jan of this year when speaking about a completely seperate issue my managager's manager brought up my IVF.    I said I didn't appreciate my IVF being brought up in the context it was and I didn't want my personal private medical treatment mentioned again.  I sent an email after the meeting to confirm this.

This most recent cycle I didn't tell my manager or work colleagues, two of them are very close friends and I really wanted to tell them but didn't want them in the position of knowing and my manager asking them and them having to lie or tell our manager.  I had a BFN on Friday and told my two colleagues/friends about the result today.  One of my colleagues said my manager asked her if I was having treatment in her appraisal last week.  I'm so very annoyed.  My manager shouldn't be doing that.  

I have my appraisal on Thursday and if she asks me if I've had IVF I'm going to tell her it's none of her business.  

Good luck everybody,
Almamay


----------



## janeup (Jan 15, 2005)

What I am dreading is how do you all deal with a BFN at work? I am trying to remain positive but at the same time realistic because of my age!  I just can't imagine sitting here at this desk, dealing with a negative result all on my own....


----------



## Lorri (Apr 17, 2005)

Janeup - There is no easy way, but its best if you take a couple of days to grieve, then return to work to take your mind of it. However, hopefully you won't ever find out. 

Almamay - Good for you, I wish I could be so strong with work.  Have you considered reporting those managers to your HR for inappropriate bullying behaviour and discussing confidential matters in in public or behind your back ?


----------

