# From link to move in - timeframes advice



## Helend75 (Dec 9, 2012)

Hello all
I've got myself worked up into a mini panic (as is oft the way!!). I knew that once upon a wherever I'd seen posts about how much/what to buy & also when to tell so have been through the archives, and hence the panic!!
We have bought various bits & pieces and plan this weekend on furnishing the bedroom (I've heard IKEA is at its least busy on a bank holiday weekend...). Of course the bedroom has to be done ahead of match meeting so as to include photos in the book. The only info I've requested from the fc was whether lo was in a toddler bed or a cot as it did feel like a need to know item, and given I know that there may be a wait on deliveries etc, it just seemed sensible to find out ahead of life appreciation day. Also, there were some issues around the child friendliness of our garden, so we have a ride on car, sand & water table (& bucket & spade accompaniments) & a sand trolley & are looking to buy a section of artificial grass. Anyway, lots of advice saying not to buy until after matching panel or between then and intros so obviously now I'm worried I've jinxed it!!

Our timeframes are/have been:
Mon 18/4 meet FF & Csw
Tues 19/4 informed we'd been successfully matched
Tues 14/5 life appreciation
Tues 24/5 meet medical advisor
Tues 14/6 matching panel
Mon 20/6 start intros.

Our SW is away for almost 3 weeks in May & has said she has a clash on the 20th so is looking to either rearrange or ask a colleague to step in for her. She has a planning meeting in a totally different LA.

So, just 8 weeks from link to panel & then just 6 days to intros - which will be out of area (though my parents have a key to the house and should we find ourselves needing anything at home they can see to that for us!). Looking at average timescales for others we seem to have at least 3 weeks fewer!

I genuinely believe there's little chance that this will get held up in appeals. bm will not be successful in any bid (& nonetheless accepts that she won't), bf has even less chance and family assessments for all and sundry have been done. He was subject to a placement with a family member for 4/5 months which broke down, so having been in care/family member/care I cannot believe the judge would allow for him to be messed around further by any other family member should anyone come forward. As such, I don't think it will fall through. Just seems such a rush! We want to do our research in buggies & car seats and when you look at the number of available weekends we have, commitments we already have, things we need or would like to do pre placement, time isn't a luxury I feel we have! And I've bought next size up clothes on the M&S sale...
Reassure me, I'm justified in my purchases aren't i?! I couldn't possibly do it all in the 6 days between panel & intros without stressing out completely!!

Also, work knows, as I'll only do a week & a Monday after half term & my classes including exam groups will need proper cover. It's not common knowledge in the staff room though. I think I'm just taking it as a given that all this will go through - and do so without delay yet see this isn't necessarily true of everyone's experience. My mum has been given permission to tell her siblings & I'm planning on telling my dads mum this weekend (OH going out tomorrow afternoon so I'm taking advantage of having a bit of a window in a weekend so that I can speak to my gran - from her others can learn courtesy of the jungle drums so long as she hears it from me!!). 

I'm not being ahead of myself am I? I should may be just let people know that these are the proposed timescales? I think I've talked myself out of the panic now I've written it down!


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

I think often in these instances you just have to bite the bullet and go ahead. There is minimal risk but we always talk about jinxing things etc because of everything we've been through before.
I actually sat and thought about it before lo was placed and thought it's all nonsense. If it's meant to be it will be whether I buy stuff or not. Also started to think actually that this is the beginning of luck changing anyway so the bad luck is done with.
We decorated the room and bought all the major stuff but told ourselves it all had to be suitable for our approved age range 0-3. So we bought a cot bed, a car seat that was birth to 4 etc so even if things had fallen through they could be used for another lo.
As it was we were told the day before intros it was going ahead and lo would be moving in 4 days later-this was in the week before Xmas too so was a nightmare to get last minute bits etc. It ended up that I'd done my last day at work without knowing it was my last day as finished on the Friday and got the call on the Monday.
So I guess I'm saying, go ahead and prepare for this lo and put all negative thoughts to the back of your mind and enjoy this time as you won't get it back.


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

We had quite tight time frames! We were linked 21st March & blossom moved in 6th may. In between we had FC meeting, matching panel, matching meeting etc. Our panel was end of April so was practically no time between then & intros. We just went for it & had pram, car seat, clothes, room set up all weeks before panel. We did have a tiny worry that sw might change their mind or something might happen to stop it going ahead but this was just the way our minds had been trained to think due to Ivf & losses etc. 
We decided to enjoy the shopping & planning!

Now have a 2.5 year old upstairs sleeping, whilst we plan our 2 year anniversary celebrations!

I'd just go for it, keep receipts if it gives some reassurance, have fun! X


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Another thing that I found put things into perspective was if you were pregnant you'd probably wait until after your 12 week scan before starting telling people and prep etc but you wouldn't leave it until baby was born to start! Think of linking as your 12 week point, of course things could still go wrong but very very unlikely so you need to start preparing not just physically but mentally for this lo coming!


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## Helend75 (Dec 9, 2012)

Knew it!! Thanks ladies
OH is alarmed at the number of parcels I've brought in from M&S, but I've bought a small number of things in age 18-24 (he'll be 2 mid September, and until I know what size he's currently in & how much he has already I won't get anything more - besides 18-24 is the last of the 'baby' range & I kind of like that I've not jumped straight into toddler clothes). I have bought sensible stuff like trousers, jumpers, t shirts and a dressing gown in 2-3 - and I'd far rather pay £5.50 for said dressing gown than £11!! I've always been the queen of the sales, but I think OH worries I'm going to be coming home like this daily.

I don't know why he's questioning - Next sale isn't until the second weekend in July by which point I'll have the little beauty at home & will know what's outstanding, tee hee hee xx


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

We went for it too! You just have to really, or like yourselves would have had a week to get everything. Plus, I wanted to believe it was happening, to have my 'pregnancy' and nesting period and really enjoy it. And we did!! Nothing more exciting than walking down the elusive kiddie aisle at long last   This wasn't a problem as such but we hadn't truly realised what a dink little pink was. The car seat was a no go for months as she didn't hit the weight criteria so after a day of intros we were frantically at my friends at 9pm borrowing hers!! We also got clothes in the next size up.... She still fits in some of the tops now, over 2 and half years later!! Least they were used though! Would have been worse if she was too big to have fitted into things!


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## Helend75 (Dec 9, 2012)

Thanks for that, the 12 week scan is a good analogy. I suspect this may be the last opportunity I get to go see my gran pre placement and she's 86! My dad asked if he was ok to speak to his siblings as my mum has, but told him he had to wait until I've spoke. With his mother!!


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## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

I bought everything in advance but kept it all in packaging with receipts until the night he was coming - we only had a few hours notice. I couldn't wait until we knew for definite as I was so scared he would come and we didn't have anything - I felt very silly with drawers full of clothes in package, bottles in boxes etc etc but when I got that call I was so happy I had been prepared.

Enjoy the shopping - it's so surreal but exciting


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

We went ahead an brought loads of clothes, furniture etc before panel. After panel we got age appropriate toys...

I say go got it!!!

I'm now pregnant and due in 12 weeks and I'd say I'm a lot more anxious about buying things for this baby than my first two, or maybe the novelty has gone ;-).

Enjoy, it's such an exciting time xx


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## ciacox (May 31, 2013)

We had similar time frames and told the world too. And shopped a lot. I occasionally had the same panic that we'd jumped the gun but I couldn't help myself. Looking back, telling people and shopping was all part of preparing myself. The medical report on his CPR should give you an idea of what size he was when last measured. If he's around average you'll be safe to buy those clothes. Cub was 16 months when he came home and most of the stuff we bought was 18-24 months. It was mostly too big for him when he came home and we ended up buying a few things in the smaller size as we really wanted him dressed in our stuff. Btw don't know if others have found this but I've noticed m&s tops seem to be quite small compared to others in same age range.


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## ciacox (May 31, 2013)

PS - hoping this means that everything went ok at your hospital appt x


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## Helend75 (Dec 9, 2012)

Ciacox
Thank you - appointment went well! The only medical we have read is dated January 2015 so given he was then just 4 months old, it's not very relevant now!! We've not yet seen the latest report but meet advisor in just over 3 weeks & fc a week on Tuesday. Csw assured us there were no surprises awaiting us.
We've bought a few more soft furnishing items today (toy box, rug, coat hook), but the big furniture items are an IKEA visit away...
Today I went & told my gran and in the time I was at her house both my dads sisters also paid a visit so I'm going to assume that all family know now.
Everyone is just so pleased for us, I don't know why I ever worried they'd be anything different! I'm not going to worry about rushing into buying stuff now as it leaves weekends free for last catch up with the girls & possibly a weekend away with OH.

I am deliriously happy & love every member of my family who has been congratulatory & supportive 😊


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