# Donating Own Eggs too?



## 32Flavours (Aug 4, 2010)

Hi all,

It's been a while since I've posted, but I'm finally getting closer to starting tx! I'm just a few weeks away from gaining my paediatric nurse qualification (and hopefully a job!!) .

Basically I'm considering IUI at a clinic near me (assuming all is well with tests etc), and have been for some time. My question to you all is, have many of you donated your own eggs prior to treatment, and how do you feel about having done so now?

As I'm sure you're all aware, donating eggs significantly reduces tx costs... while I'm not saying this is the only reason I'm considering it, it is a pretty appealing prospect and could perhaps faciliate me starting tx sooner. I also feel like it's something I'd like to do, in the sense of helping others and giving someone that much longed for child. My hesitations really stems around what this would mean for my (hypothetical) child in the future - is it too much to take in, when you're already a child of a single woman through donor sperm? . My other worry is that my famiily don't really like the idea, and feel it makes things too complicated. I know this shouldn't make my decision for me, but I do value what they think and appreciate that they've already been very understanding and accepting of my choices in all of this.

Your thoughts greatly appreciated .


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## aweeze (Nov 8, 2005)

Hi 32Flavours 

Yes, I donated eggs during my tx to conceive my first son. It was something I had long wanted to do but had always imagined I would do it after my family was complete. I did 3 IUI's which weren't successful so started to think about moving to IVF. It was then that I discovered I was close to the upper age limit for donating so made the decision to Egg Share. Obviously the price reduction was appealing too! I saw the clinic counsellor and found that I was actually very clear about how I felt about donating and how I would feel about any resulting children. My eyes were very much wide open when I went into it. The only blip I had was after my second miscarriage (I miscarried both of my first 2 IVF cycles). Having lost 2 babies and knowing that there was a strong possibility that my recipients were pregnant with children that were genetically connected to me, did hit me hard but I soon shook it off and ploughed myself into my third cycle. I'm not sure however how I would have coped if after all my tx, I had ended up childless. Thankfully I didn't have to find out. 

I have recently requested and received information from the HFEA about my donation and I know that there were 2 babies created from my 3 egg share cycles which are of course half siblings to my 2 boys. I wasn't sure how I would feel about knowing but actually I felt surprisingly unaffected by it. If anything, it reinforced my feelings that those children are not mine. I donated some cells that helped to create them but the women that carried them and the people that are raising them are the parents. My only concern is that they are happy and loved. There is every chance of course that in 14 years time the eldest one may want to make contact with me and I am prepared for that to happen. I will also be preparing my children for the fact that they have not just 2 half siblings but an additional 10 from the sperm donor. It will be up to them what they choose to do with that information and I will fully support their decisions. 

I hope that helps a little. If you need any further information about egg sharing, I'm be happy to try and answer any questions either on here or by PM. 

Lou


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## 32Flavours (Aug 4, 2010)

Hi Lou,

Thank you so much for your response; it's been really helpful to me to read about your experiences, and I really admire your strength of character. I hadn't actually thought about utilising the counselling services to discuss the egg sharing option, so I think that's something I will most certainly do now when I have my consultations. 

I also agree with your sentiments about the children born from donations; I would also believe that they are with the family they were intended to be with, and as such I don't think I'd be under any illusion that they were "mine" either. What you've done for those families is wonderful beyond measure .

Thank you for the offer to PM you, I may well take you up on it as I progress further with the idea. 

Thank you again - and your boys look absolutely gorgeous in that photo!! xx


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## natclare (May 27, 2011)

Hi 32Flavours

Yes I have also been egg sharing although I have frozen my eggs. I thought long and hard about it. You are obligated to have counselling and I would certainly make the most of that. Unlike others I don't know if I will definitely end up having children myself but I am happy with what I have decided so far and I am very happy to have tried to help someone else with cycle #1 (it resulted in a miscarriage for the recipient however) and would do it again.

Good luck with whatever you decide. It is certainly not for everyone.


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Hi Lou, thank you for sharing your story!

Hi 32, I am at that crossroads too and my only concern is that I need to have completed my tx by December, or I'll be too old to be on the LWC's egg sharing programme...

I asked them as much as I could on the phone, including whether I could meet/know about the recipients, but they were adamant that it's an anonymous process and if I knew the recipient we'd both have to pay.

Anyway, that's put the time pressure on a bit, and I would be devastated to think I was still childless if my recipients conceive, but it may be a consolation to know there are babies out there I helped come to life, actually.

Happy to hear from anyone else through PM, if you are a sharer or recipient!

X


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## yorkiegirl2012 (Jul 3, 2012)

Hello, just found this thread having posted on the newbies thread. Just phoned LWC and like BroodyChick found out about the 35 and a half thing - this is December for me too - is this completion of treatment, or commencement? I only started thinking about all this this week so feeling a wee bit overwhelmed. Not sure whether to think about going to the LWC open day (I would have to use their Darlington clinic I think though) in London a week on Sat, but not sure if actually all the info is out there on the internet and on here......looking forward to learning more and wishing everyone lots of luck.


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## 32Flavours (Aug 4, 2010)

Hi Natclare,

Thank you for sharing your experience too, I think it's wonderful you're so comfortable donating to others. I hope the next cycle you assist with is a success .

I will most certainly make the most of the counselling offered, thank you. 

I had another chat with my mum, and she didn't seem against the idea of me egg-sharing after all. I've also just put my name down the an open day at Bourne Hall in a couple of months, so I really feel like things are starting to progress now. Very exciting!

Yorkiegirl and Broodychick, I also hope you're able to come to the right decision for you soon and wish you all the best.


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## Bambiboo (Oct 23, 2009)

I egg shared both at LWC and CARE.  Would go with CARE everytime, they really cared about me as a patient and not just my eggs - just my personal experience.

Good luck xx


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Hi Yorkie, the Lister will take you before you're 36, if you pass all their tests, and the consultation etc is all free. I was very impressed on my first visit there! 

The deadline is for COMPLETING your treatment, not starting it.
I was told the whole thing can be a few months, as certain test results take up to 4 weeks to get back and only then can you be matched. 
Good luck xox


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