# Battling with the monster - again



## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

So the baby I've been moaning on about is due any day (in fact it's overdue by 3 days). So my dh phones his friend to see what's going on - all is well. And I'm just sitting there thinking - that woman is getting all this fuss made of her - even my dh is concerned. Now I know he's just naturally caring about his friend and his friend's wife - and I feel like such a ***** - but there you have it. There is something veru horrible about all of this - I can't bear myself.
Bernie


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

I am sure that would bug you with your dh checking up too. My dh used to say on occasion when i was very bitter that we couldnt end up hating everyone who could have kids and while deep down i knew he was right I still hated them!! My dh has a dd of 17 but i think now that she is living with her mother he has reviewed his feelings and he does get ****** off when he sees teenage girls still close to their dads which they were for years. i do not pass comment as I knew how i felt. Take care xxxx


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Hi Bernie,

You are a fine person. We have all been there, but not always with as much self awareness as you. Don't be too hard on yourself, and keep coming here for support.

Love to you,

JqXXXXX


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Thanks friends - you won't believe it but I've actually put a gift together for mum and baby. I said to dh that I need to honour myself by being kind. So I've got the cutest little baby knit and some pampering bath stuff for the new mum - and when the announcement comes through I'll post it to them. (I'm toying with the idea of putting in a set of earplugs for the dad as a joke! What do you think?) I'm getting a tad worried now though as we still have not heard anything and the baby was due around the 19th (?)
Anyway - as you can see I'm trying to beat this monster - and the only way to do it is to 'out love it'. I'm giving it a go.
Bernie xxx


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## Lully77 (Apr 11, 2008)

Good for you Bernie!   x


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## Angel Child (Apr 22, 2008)

I really admire you Bernie, you are being so brave about this. I wish I could be more like you!! I still can't speak to my SIL, especially after she was so mean. I don't know how to resolve things with her, and at the moment don't even want to think about her baby (due in October!!). You are amazing!!!!! 

Angel


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## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

I think you're a star - this is a fab way of dealing with it!

Jx


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Hey Bernie - who says I won't believe it?  I believe in the very best from you, and you always prove me right!!!! 

Loads of love my brave and special one, 

Jq xxx


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Thank you for understanding so well - it is still a very difficult thing for me to deal with. Anyway - baby arrived safely and all is well. I guess I'll post my package now. Getting up the courage to go visit will be the next step. That won't be for a few weeks yet though. Feeling sad that it is never going to be my turn for this...
Bernie x


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## emmag (Mar 11, 2007)

Oh Bernie, you're a braver woman than I am! With the new baby in our family I'm still pretending that none of this is happening! 
x


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Bernie

        

And tons more of those too for you and everyone who is having a hard time at the moment!

Infertility and or losing a baby has such a deeply profound effect on peoples lives  

Love
Emcee xxx


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Bernie


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## Angel Child (Apr 22, 2008)

Hi Bernie,

I don't want to highjack your thread, but just thought I would let you know that you inspired me so much that I sat down and wrote a 10 page letter to my SIL. She sugested that we go out for a drink and a chat, so yesterday we did. It was very hard seeing her, as she now has a huge bump, but we both got things off our chests. She felt like I had burst her bubble, as she is really excited. We were both honest with each other and I told her all about my past tx and my feelings now. I had a little cry, but at least I don't have this horrible atmosphere in the family now. It was very difficult as she showed me her scan pictures, etc and told me she is having a girl and it does really hurt,  but I feel better as I everything is now in the open. She wants to be able to share her experience with me, and hopes that I will talk to her if we do have IVF (consultant has now written for referal, but will probably be 6 months away - and after nearly 11 years I don't know how hopeful it is even if I am unexplained). It still hurts like hell and probably always will, but at least like you I have made the first step.

Anyway, enough waffle, just a big thanks, I have you to thank for getting my act together. 

    

Angel


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Angel Child ..that was very brave well done hunny   I am sure it will make things easier for you and you will adore your Niece when she arrives   cos you will know how truly special she is

Cat x


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Have blown you some lucky bubbles hunny


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Hi Angel,

Well done you for being so brave! Bernie is an isspiration isn't she? And so are you! That's what is so good about this place, we all support and inspire one another throught the difficult times. Hope things are a little easier for you now. Let us all know how you are.

Love Jq xxx


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## Angel Child (Apr 22, 2008)

Thanks Jq,

We saw them again this weekend with the rest of the family. It is really hard seeing her get so big, and listening to everyone talk about it. Still, I am reverlling in the fact that for once she is fatter than me even if it is for the wrong reasons!!  When the discussion turned to giving birth, I just switched off and tried not to listen as it was too hard to think about. I am just trying to put on a brave face, but it is incredibly difficult.

Bernie, how are you coping?

 

Angel


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Hi there Angel - I've been away for a couple of weeks, so have been slow responding to this thread. So proud of you for doing what you're doing - and believe me I know how hard it is. I sent off my little parcel of gifts to the new mum and dad - but have heard nothing. I assume it got there as I sent it recorded. My hubby has phoned his friend's mobile a couple of times - and cannot get hold of him (very unusual). Perhaps they are up to their necks in baby poop and vomit - oh my heart bleeds.
You need to pace yourself with all this Angel and listen to your heart. It took me ages to get to this point. I avoided the couple for the whole pregnancy. There needs to be some balance - ie your SIL needs to appreciate that when she's with you she can't go on about birth plans too much. Showing scan pictures would be a bit much for me and I think I would have told her I didn't need to see them. But you have to make your own boundaries - do what is comfortable for you. And remember that you are perfectly entitled to say no to her occasionally - if it hurts too much.
Bernie xxx


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Hi Bernie and Angel,

Just wanted to say you are  both stars! I hope you are both looking after yourselves.

Lots of love Jq xxx


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