# Utterly utterly fed up. No idea what to do or where to turn now :'(



## cuevadelrosa (May 12, 2016)

I'm looking for some advice, or a hug or something.  

I'm undergoing a host of fertility investigations at the mo.  I'm 43 and since I was 23 have had 10 early miscarraiges, the last about two months ago.  The longest I lasted was 14 weeks, but the fetus was 'very small'.  Yes I'm old, but the majority of my losses were when I was younger.  I'm in Spain, so every consultation is done in Spanish, which makes understanding an already difficult subject, much harder.  DH's tests all came back tickety-boo.

Conclusive diagnoses or abnormalities prior to today are: factor XII (hagemans), Factor 5 Leyden, MTHFR, vit d deficiency.  Heparin once pregnant has not worked for me so far.  I have also had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia for 20 years, although I am a bit better now compared to how I was.  My AMH back in April was low at 0.209 ng/ml

Today I was also told by my immunologist consultant that I have ANA (speckle pattern) 1:160 and my IgM levels are high (348 when 230 should be max).  However the consultant said that without a positive lupus test this won't be the cause of recurrent miscarriages  .  She has orderd lupus tests (clinic forgot to test for it last time), and eye and saliva tests to test for sjorgen syndrome.  Also my urine tests showed proteins, so she wants a comprehensive test of that, for what reason I don't know.  I have to wait a month before I see her again and we shouldn't try naturally until results are back  .  She also said after studying the xrays she requested of me that I have osteoarthritis in my neck and wrists, which really bloody depressed me.  

I am so frustrated.  I feel like this is all a waste of time and I am being led up a path that won't help.  Lupus tests have come up negative several months back so I'm not expecting anything there.  So far as I could tell the results found (IgM & ANA) had nothing to do with pregnancy loss at all, and sjorgen doesn't have much to do with it either.  Meanwhile the clock is ticking really bloody loudly.  

Last scan was a few months back, which showed minor fibroids, but last 'proper' investigation was a laparoscopy 15 years ago, which found minor scarring but nothing significant.  I feel like I want a hysteroscopy or something  And my progesterone levels haven't been tested in 15 years either.  But I guess, if they're only looking at IVF - they are an IVF clinic afterall (whereas we're still trying naturally - at least until the immunologist told us to stop), they wouldn't bother with that.  I'd like to know if that's impedeing implantation though, I think.

I feel clueless about what to ask for and I feel like I am being led the longest dance ever.  I vistied this clinic first back in April.  Is it me, am I being impatient, or shouldn't I be further along by now?  

I'm sorry I'm rambling.  Hoping someone can stop me spinning and set me back on the right path.  Maybe.



Much love
xx


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## Artypants (Jan 6, 2012)

Hi there

To be really brutal you sound like you need very expert care with the amount of blood and immunes you've got going on. The only doctor that sounds like he has enough expertise is Dr Braverman in America but you will need quite a large budget. He has an online forum where you can post a question and explain your issue and he would answer online, but my thoughts are you would need to send blood to him in the US to analyse and receive more comprehensive treatment. At 43 you may need to consider PGS as well or even donor eggs if that's not too scary a prospect? If that is out of the question then maybe Dr Gorgy in the UK could be an option?

Sorry that sounds so negative but these situations can drag on for years and I think its time for you to take control and seek some real expertise from the best.

I wish you lots of luck xxx


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm so sorry for your losses  

Unfortunately I am not surprised that this has been going on for a while: The world of fertility often moves slowly to begin with I'm afraid. It does sound like your clinic is being very thorough though so that's good. 

The only basic test you haven't mentioned is your chromosome karyotype which can be the cause of recurring loss - albeit very rarely.

Braverman and Gorgy are expensive so a cheaper "second opinion" option for now could be a skype consultation with another clinic. This is often at a cost, but some places (like Serum) do them for free.

In the meantime have a look on the International section as lots of ladies go to Spain for treatment and lots of the clinics have threads. Also, take a look at the FAQ on the Immunes section, there is loads of information on there.

Good luck xxx


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## itsonlybridge (Oct 29, 2014)

Hi hun

I'm sorry to hear your losses, I am in a similar situation in that we have been trying for 12 years with 4 natural mc, a failed IVF and I recently had a missed miscarriage with twins from my last IVF cycle.

We have had pretty much every test there is over the last 18 months and they discovered I have high killer cells which were making me reject the emryos for which I had treatment of Intralipds/Clexane and steroids on the last cycle... that worked in the sense that it stopped me from rejecting the embryos and we go to 10 weeks which is the longest I have ever been pregnant. However the embryo's themselves stopped developing which tells us that their mist be an additional issue to do with the embryo's and not the killer cells... the killer cells are obviously sensing these issues and that's why my levels have been high.

Anyway, they are currently testing my little twins and we should know their findings in a few weeks. From what I can gather the next and only path from here is genetics IVF where they will screen and test the eggs and then the embryos for chromosomal abnormalities prior to transfer. This is called PGD IVF at my clinic and is expensive. It also carries the risk that we could end up with no 'normal' embryo's to transfer but I think that is a slightly better than having another miscarriage weeks later.

We cannot try naturally as we now realise that we seem to be creating abnormal babies as our genes are just not mixing. If we can't manage to get a normal embryo from this treatment then our next step would be to think about a Egg donor IVF.

I am still grieving for my little babies and having very emotional days, but the hope that they may at least be able to provide us with an answer to our complicated fertility issues is keeping me going.

as a side note, both DH and my Chromosome karyotype came back normal but they did say that DH has a particular gene (that is normal) that my body doesn't like so we are basically incompatible. 

I hope you get more information from other ladies and are able to move forward with your clinic. 

We are with CARE in Nottingham and on my last cycle there was a lady from Madrid cycling there. They are very accommodating and she only had to make the trip over for Egg collection and Egg transfer I believe. All scans were done locally to her and consultations online.

Best of luck hun... its an emotional and touch road but you are not on your own xxxx


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