# coparenting issues - what would you have liked to know/agree before?



## 2015 (Oct 7, 2014)

I am am 29yr old woman aiming to start trying with my known donor/coparent late this year early next year. 

We have discussed lots of issues such as parenting styles, religion, discipline, contact etc. However I just wondered if anyone who has been through getting pregnant with a coparent and have any suggestions of what issues come up?

I know best made plans are always broken but I just want to see if I'm missing something obvious. 

Thanks


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## bingbong (Dec 9, 2008)

As far as I know Broodychick is the only singlie who has gone with a co-parent. Hopefully she will be along soon or you can pm her. It's also worth having a look at the Ask a Lawyer section as they have discussed the legalities of it there.

bingbong x


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

2015, just saw this...
I would ask him how many kids he sees in his future and how he plans to come by them, as well as things like financial and practical support and what happens if in the future you meet new partners and have more children etc.

Just like with a romantic partner, the whole thing is based on trust and honesty, but since nobody is perfect you will have to make do with what you get and address any bumps in the road as they occur.

I am so happy to have my DS and that there is contact with his birth father and extended family, but my situation is not what I had imagined. Best of luck to you!x


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## 2015 (Oct 7, 2014)

Its interesting, the more I'm learning about coparenting the mor I think I'm swaying towards anonymous donor again. I saw the pros but I realise I'm already resenting the theoretical compromises of having a guy I don't love in my life. 
Oh what to do for the best! Big decisions

Thanks for your advice x


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## Mel D (Jan 18, 2013)

Hi
I am coparenting witn a good friend of mine, he is gay so no confusion of any future attraction on either side. We drew up an agreement, it's not legally binding as they can't be but will be taken into consideration by a family court if it ever came to that. We did it to make sure we were on same page about lots of possibles such as immunisation, downs syndrome or any other condition in pregnancy, circumcision if it was a boy (it's a girl and we don't believe in that either but some do) , schooling, holidays, access rights, financial responsibility, future siblings by him or by me with other partners, future marriage with new partners and affect on our child etc. Lots to consider. I am lucky that my little girl will always know her Daddy and he will be very much involved but that's not the usual from what I understand. You have to understand what his motivation is and how many children he already has or plans to have with you or others. If it's going to get complicated bevore you've begun then anonymous may be better but personally I like to know where I came from, I know they can find out at 18 as in adoption but not ideal. It's a tough decision whichever way you go unless you can 100 per cent trust him as I can knowing my future daughter's Dad for over 15 yrs.
Best of luck x


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