# DH, Intros & Leave



## Tarango (Nov 3, 2006)

good morning! 

Happy Easter everyone, i hope you are not too full on all the easter eggs the bunny brought you   

I just have a quick question floating around my head and as they say - better out than in....  

we are no where near anything like the title of this post suggests but was wondering what people did with regards to sorting out when to take paternity leave (in our case I will be taking the SAP time off and DH will have the paternity bit)....

so did your DH (or equivalent) take their Paternity time during intros or when you brought little one home? 
If it was when you all came home, how did you work it for intros ....... questions, questions .... so many questions....

thank you very much in advance

love
T
xxx


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi T

We are starting intros next month- i am taling the SAP and DH is taking his 2weeks  paternity leave followed by 2 weeks holiday as we are adopting a sibling group our intro's will be taking approx 12days.

My DH only gets stat paternity pay which is £112.75 per wk which is naff however better then nothing! 

Hope this helps you

xxx


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi

I was the stay at home Mum & DH took 2weeks off as annual leave to do intros to our DS & then 2weeks leave once DS was at home.......its a long time since we adopted DS, 11 years & DH was not entitled to any leave other than 2 days adoption leave.....THANK god that has changed!!

With DD I was already at home & DH took 1 week annual leave whilst we did intros although they only lasted 4 days, DD was 9 months old, he then was entitled to 1 week adoption leave, a bit better than last time but not much!!

Like I say its a long time since we adopted our 2 but wanted to reply to your thread.

Love
Andrea
xx


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## sjm78 (May 22, 2007)

We aren't at that stage yet but are thinking is dh will use 2 week hols and 2 weeks paternity leave . Quite hard to plan thought my dh has loads of hols to take and is reluctant to use them as he wants as much time as poss at home when the time comes but hols only last solong and he will end up taking lots at once at end of working year. Never mind will get him hard at work around the house and garden so he doesn't miss me while i work


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## Tarango (Nov 3, 2006)

hello, 
thanks for your replies, it's good to know that people do different things and that also we are not the only ones 'forward thinking' .... 

Andrea, it's really hard to believe that not so long ago (only talking the 90's) people were not given the time to take off and that people (mostly on the male side) were not entitled to much leave .... am very glad it has changed!

MJ, good luck for intros, I get all excited when you read on here that they have been matched and intros are starting!! One day it will be us!! 

Wigantwo, I know what you mean about annual leave, we are carefully planning what to use and when and the 'what if' thing has come up a few times as our leave years run from April to March so we are thinking 'what if' happens before next April (if you know what I mean!).... but like your DH, mine can do loads of jobs around the house... and he wants to build a shed   for some reason... at least that'll keep him quiet!!

have a great Sunday & stay warm 

love
t
x


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

My DH holidays run from jan-dec- he wanted to have as much time as he could at home so he said save all his hols and see how things were about sept this yr however he did plan on having a few 1 day'ers added to bank hol weekends to give him some time off other then weekends

xxx


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## billy69 (Nov 5, 2007)

Hi -we are still very far from this stage (CRB checks - if they find out that as a child I stole some jam it's already over) but our plan is that I (father) take the adoption leave (probably 6 months), as DW is a full-time pg student (funded - actually if we read the conditions well she may get 4 months extention on her grants even if I am the 'main carer' - but that's not the main issue). In general, I think time off in these occasions is only too well spent, even at some financial costs, but I don't understand why more men are not taking up adoption leave instead of their partners - it makes financial sense and there's no breastfeeding involved. Any views?

By the way - happy Easter, we have had a nice relaxed one but hopfully one day there will be children too to shared the eggs with.

Billy


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi

My DH is going to take 2 weeks paternity leave followed by 2 weeks holiday as we feel it is important for us all to be together for the first couple of weeks.  DH will then have holiday still to take later in the year if the current potential match goes all the way.

Billy, I'm going to be the main carer as DH earns more than me and we can't afford to do it the other way round.  Not sure how you mean that it makes financial sense as we, and most people I know, would be worse off.

Ot x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi

My DH took 10 days holiday days over the introductions with DD and 1 week paternity and 1 week holiday days once she was home. We found the drop from his usual wage too big to lose, especially when the mortgage and everything else still has to be paid! 
So I reckon he'll do similar this time round too. One week's paternity at the flat rate (as that's all we can afford) and any extra days to be taken as holidays. That's if he's got any left to take by then


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## billy69 (Nov 5, 2007)

Ot - you are only right not to be sure what I meant as mine was an improvised comment which wasn't clear at all and therefore was misplaced. Of course in case of statutory adoption pay what you are doing is the sensible thing for most. Luckily, there are more and more employers (basically, wherever they need young talent) topping up maternity and adoption pay to 90% or 100% normal pay. In these cases, when the man has longer working hours than the woman, it makes sense for the man to stay home - but still only few do.

B


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

I took adoption leave for 9 months starting after my annual leave balance was finished (I think I had about 11 days A/L which they paid me for before starting me on Adoption pay).  It is worth asking your HR dept if you can do tis...mine were really good and recognised that I didn't have time to take all my leave before starting intros...so that just re-calculated the start date based on outstanding leave for the year.  My DH took 2 weeks paternity but worked during introductions w(10days).  

It wasn't what we wanted but his work was bought out and the new management started on the week of introductions and it would have looked very seriously bad if he wasn't there, so we worked our meetings around his work and he did mixed shifts for the first few days , weekend off then mixed shifts the next week...first day he took a day off(palcement meeting then meeting Bubbles in afternoon and buying cot etc in the evening); day two he worked late shift and had day with me and Bubbles befroe going to work; day three I did on my own with FC and he worked day shift then day four he did early shift and had the rest of the day with us to do evening routine etc etc. He took his parental leave from the day she came home forever.

Then after 9 months (6 weeks at 90% then 6 months on SAP and 3 months unpaid + plus foster allowance) I went back to work full time and DH is now a stay at home parent full time.  He will go back to work in a year or two when she is settled at nursery or school.

Magenta x


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## Lynnm (Mar 7, 2006)

Hi 

I am currently on Adoption Leave.  I will be taking the 9 months statutory pay of £112 with the first 10 weeks at 100% pay, this is what is offered under the Maternity/Adoption Policy.  

My DH got 1 week paid Paternity Leave and his work had allowed him to work up 5 weeks lieu time that he could take after his 1 week Paternity. This allowed us all to spend time together when our DS first came home which was fantastic.

Regards
Lynn x


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## rebeccas (Oct 26, 2005)

Billy

How fantastic you want to take the time off to support your wife, I hope that SS support this.  We are in a similar position as my DH can take paid adoption leave full pay for 9 months, I am self employed and can 'work around things' parttime very part time and in the evenings until baby goes to school.

SS thought this was a bit unusual and would only support our application if I was the one who took the time off and my husband worked, financially and for time bonding it did not make a great deal of sense to us.

Let us know how you get on.

Regards

Rebecca


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