# Embryo Transfer tomorrow last attempt ended in miscarriage at 9 weeks



## parapol (Jul 24, 2008)

I need some words of encouragement, it has been a while since I have posted on FF, but having suffered the tremendous loss of our first IVF attempt at 9 weeks I have found myself today feeling extremely anxious for what lies ahead.  Tomorrow hopefully I have 2 embryos transferred and I have started to recall the pain, hurt and emptiness of last time.  I should be feeling excited and pleased that this attempt has been more positive with 17 eggs being recovered and six showing signs of fertilisation yesterday.  The first attempt we only had 7 eggs and only one fertilised.

I am beginning to think that it will end in the same trauma and I am not sure I can take that loss again.  I am not as slim this time as I was previously and am concerned that this will affect my chances of success.

Any words of encouragement will be gratefully received.

Sarah


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## M.T.B (May 31, 2007)

Hi sarah

firstly i am so sorry for your loss and heartache with you 1st tx      

You have been strong enough to decide to do tx again so i am sure you will dig deep and find the    and strength to get through this    

i am on my 6th 2ww    and i IVF did result in a BFP but only for 4 weeks   i try and think that it did work once ok it wasnt meant to be but it worked so there is no reason why it wont work again and be a different outcome     

Each cycle is different honey and you have done really well to get al those juicy eggs so tomorrow you will have some really strong embies to come home to you     i know it is so hard and you will never forget that pain from before  but try try try to let it help you be strong for this xxxx

btw i have put on weight during each tx and i think if it works it works whatever   

Loads and loads of luck


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## cutelittlepumpkin (Nov 1, 2007)

I just wanted to send you        !
Going through tx after our previous two losses was one of the hardest things I ever done! All you can do is keep trying your best to be postive and cry and vent if you need to! And know that it is possible to have success after loss! I'm proof!!

Good luck

CLP


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## cutelittlepumpkin (Nov 1, 2007)

By the way my BMI is 32 pre pg!!

CLP


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## Beanie1 (Jan 18, 2009)

Good luck for tomorrow    

Big hugs

x


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello Sarah, I hope you don't mind but I have moved your post here where I think you will find the best support right now.

I am sorry your previous cycle ended in m/c  I have been there myself and so I completly understand that horrible mix of fear of failure and yet also fear of success in case it ends the same way again.  There's not much I can say that will make it any better or easiar for you to bear except to say you're not alone and there's lots of people here on FF who can help you through this.

Wishing you loads of luck for ET tomorrow.  and for your 2ww.

C~x


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## LizzyB (Mar 25, 2003)

Hi Sarah,

I'm really so sorry to read about your m/c  

Wishing you all the best for ET today. Do come and join everyone on the 2ww testers thread if you want to......you really will find lots of support and encouragement there and the ladies are all lovely 

Here's the link for you or you can find the thread further up the 2ww Board...

*JAN/FEB 2WW TESTERS ~ TTC with TX*
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=172068.150

Many hugs and lots of luck  

Lizzy xxx


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## TwiceBlessed (Nov 8, 2006)

so sorry that your previous attempt ended the way it did. I suffered a mmc in 2006 at 9.5w and knew that my most recent tx would be the last time I could put myself through IVF.  It is such a hard thing to get back on the rollercoaster over such a loss but it is a new cycle new embies so long may they stick!

My last tx resulted in my DD and well...erm...now look at me....

wishing you all the best


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## beckyj1372 (Oct 6, 2008)

Hi sarah,  

At the risk of sounding like a stalker, i think it was you i met up at the Bourne this morning having embryo transfer and you advised me again to go on this site... you are right it is a help..... I really hope that it is good for you this time, i will have my fingers crossed for you..

becky x


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## birdey (Jan 19, 2009)

Hi, im so sorry for your loss, i too have gone through this and feel the same i had first ivf in oct and miscarried at 6 weeks, we were so excited and could not believe our luck after all the heartache and then that happened but we are trying again feb but its hard, this wil be our last shot more than likely due to cost so gotta keep positive. just keep your chin up and remember there are loads of ladies here who can offer advice and support whenever you feel low
kirst x


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## jaimex (Sep 7, 2008)

Good luck sarah sending you lots of      xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## parapol (Jul 24, 2008)

beckyj1372 said:


> Hi sarah,
> 
> At the risk of sounding like a stalker, i think it was you i met up at the Bourne this morning having embryo transfer and you advised me again to go on this site... you are right it is a help..... I really hope that it is good for you this time, i will have my fingers crossed for you..
> 
> becky x


Hi Becky 
Yes this you are right - you found me on fertility friends! Glad you have given it ago, it was a help for me last time and I am sure it will be the same this time. How are you? I am counting down the days to the day of the test and have not slept very much at all so far this week, every twinge I tend to question!
Best of luck and hopefully we can stay in touch

Sarah x


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## beckyj1372 (Oct 6, 2008)

parapol said:


> beckyj1372 said:
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> > Hi sarah,
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## SHARBARA (Sep 16, 2008)

hi ladies i see a couple of u are at bourne i have had treatment there and rosie had ET on thurs now on dreaded 2 ww would be glad to hear from any of you


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## parapol (Jul 24, 2008)

beckyj1372 said:


> parapol said:
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## beckyj1372 (Oct 6, 2008)

parapol said:


> beckyj1372 said:
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## parapol (Jul 24, 2008)

Hi Becky

I am feeling better today, and am hoping to get tomorrow over with asap and learn my fate on the job front!  I am an HR Manager for the whole of the South, I think I will be ok but the chances are my job is going to get bigger!

Like your thought regarding leaving the test as late as possible, I have managed to line up a busy day - so who knows my mind hopefully will be distracted enough for the day to go relatively quickly.

Have you got a positive signals?  Did you have Blast?  I wanted to this time, but got too scared in case I had none to have transferred.  

I am hoping this 'thread' as they are referred to elsewhere on the site may give us the luck we are seeking

Sarah x


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## beckyj1372 (Oct 6, 2008)

Hi sarah,

i havent really had any signs at all, i occaisionally get mild period type pains but am not sure that, that is a good sign!!!  We didnt go to bastocyst stage, would have, but of my 7 eggs only 2 fertilised so didnt get given the option (got a £800 refund though... which was nice).. for some reason i dont seem to respond to the drugs very well last time i only got 4 eggs of which again only 2 fertilised.... How many times have i heard it only takes one!!!! true but the next person who says that is very brave.....

How about you?? have you had any feelings that make you think, maybe and are you going to do a home test?? i didnt last time, but i am a bit tempted this time although i am a bit too scared to actually know the answer...

4 days to go!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laters
Becky x


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## parapol (Jul 24, 2008)

Hi Becky

Similar to you on the egg front!  Only 1 fertilised out of 5 last time - proof that is does only take one for success (sorry!!!!)

This time I couldn't go through with the blast, last time I resisted testing too, this time I have not and tested today and wished I hadn't as it was negative.  I am now struggling to focus on anything else.  I should have waited as I am not sure that the HPT would be able to pick it up this early but if I don't believe the test will be devastated if the negative is confirmed on Friday.  As for the signs I have the period pains and cramping (which like you I question if this is positive) then I have a metallic taste all the time, I have mood swings (dh would say this is normal), weeing constantly too.

Some how I thing I am going to be a negative result this time, which I kind of expected deep down as what are the chances of being successful two time on the trot?

Stay positive

Sarah


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## beckyj1372 (Oct 6, 2008)

Oh god sorry about the negative test... but some of the other posts on this site say something about the timing of home pregnancy tests, so like you say it may well be too early.. i hope so..... 

I have given up now, my period type pains have become constant and worse, also i have (it may sound strange) a gurgling sort of noise that imples things are happening in that area... but not good things..  Anyway better start saving for next time.. if i bother too be honest, it is way too much emotionally..

What are you going to do now are you going to try testing again before friday or are you just going to wait till fri this is horrid isnt it, so painfull

speak to you soon...

take care.. thinking of you

Becky x x


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## jaimex (Sep 7, 2008)

Sarah ans becky sending you lots of


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## parapol (Jul 24, 2008)

Hi Becky

Sorry to hear you are doubting things your end!  My first attempt I had cramps and had success, this time I have got severe period cramps in the night, general twinges during the day but have no other symptoms at all.  I am unsure if I can go through this again, 9 years of trying and then the trauma of the first attempt of IVF followed by this not sure I could stand it emotionally.

I had good news on Monday - I got promoted at work so I really do think I have had my quota of good luck this week.

Will probably test again on friday morning, I am dreading seeing the nurse who wanted to refuse to treat me due to my bmi being 0.59 over, if I fail I am sure she will look at me as if to say told you so!!!

Speak soon - try to stay positive 

Sarah x


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## SHARBARA (Sep 16, 2008)

thats shocking
about yr BMI
i know the Rosie are terribly strict but surely you think they would cut some slack really especially when you are self funding
im always annoyed at that as in my line of work i look after very big women getting pregnant in fact recently without word of a lie we had a bmi of over 60 
i often see women with bmi 40 get pregnant naturally and its a source of real irritation to me when i practically starve to keep under 30 with the bloomin PCO
sorry for the rant still feel pmt and moody lol


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## beckyj1372 (Oct 6, 2008)

Hi sarah....
Congratulations on the promotion far from the redundancy your were expecting..

Quite right re what Sharon said re your BMI only .59 over is nothing, you only have to watch Jeremy Kyle to see that BMI does not matter!!! Well i hope it works so you can tell the nurse to poke it!!!

9 years is a long old time to be coping with the emotions of all this, i think that after just half that time i am close to not trying again, firstly money, secondly the emotions are too much.. i am thinking of looking into surrogacy or adoption although both of those are a mine field in themselves.... Who knows what to do next?!

i am going to get up the bourne tomorrow for about 10 ish.. i probably wont see you cos i know you were going to go early... but i have everything crossed for you..

will be thinking of you tomorrow.  


GOOD LUCK

Becky x


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## parapol (Jul 24, 2008)

Hi Becky

GOOD LUCK for test day tomorrow, I will be thinking of you.

Lets liaise tomorrow night and either celebrate or spur one another on for the next go.  

All the best wishes in the world - heres hoping dreams can come true.

Sarah x

Ps BMI not .59 over now, not after the last 2 weeks!!!!!


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## parapol (Jul 24, 2008)

Hi Sharon

It is good to hear someone else who has to be around other expectant mums, I am in HR and have them coming to me to tell me they are pregnant - whoopie! One of the ladies is about 4ft tall and must be about 30stone and is pgt.  She made me laugh recently when she came in upset and asked me if her I thought her husband would still love her when she was fat....hmmm now I had self control and was naturally very reassuring about pregnancy not being classed as fat but inside I chuckled!!!

Test day tomorrow whatever happens at least I know I tried.

Take care
Sarah x


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## SHARBARA (Sep 16, 2008)

yeh its hard i just spent evening doing an ante natal class thinking it should be me not them
but you know i cant keep thinking that its like you say what ever happens you know u tried
let me know how tomorrow goes
i will be thinking of you and becky am at work so wont be able to check in till tea time as the blinkin work pc up and died today and prob wont be mended till mon 
have everything crossed for you


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## TwiceBlessed (Nov 8, 2006)




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## beckyj1372 (Oct 6, 2008)

Had my blood test... it has come back as a low positive, have to re test on tuesday morning.....  Dont really know what it means but they didnt make it sound like a good thing....  Either i was pregnant and they have gone now, or its eptopic or i am really pregnant... although they didnt sound too keen on the "i am pregnant".. i.e they were saying dont get your hopes up!!!! dont know what to think am going to put another post on to see if anyone else has had this.......


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## parapol (Jul 24, 2008)

Hi Becky

I am surprised you managed to get to the clinic with the weather I got stuck on the hill coming out!

You must stay positive, don't forget they are testing really early, wait for Tuesday - is this further than you got last time?

Please stay positive as Tuesday could bring you the news you want.

Thinking of you loads

Sarahxxx


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## beckyj1372 (Oct 6, 2008)

hi sarah,

sorry i was really wound up earlier and forgot to ask you how you got on......  Did you manage to test  or did you give up.. really sorry fornot asking earler, i was in a bit of a panic.. have had a little time to think about it and calm down a little bit

How did you get on or are you going to go up on monday?

Sorry again for not asking

Becky x x


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## parapol (Jul 24, 2008)

Hi Becky

Don't be daft, you had more than enough to worry about.  

I feel awkward saying I had a positive result and can honestly say I was shocked, even the nurse commented that I was extremely negative when I went for test and had resigned myself to a negative result, I am obviously pleased but am always sensitive around others as I know how frustrating it is.

Please please stay positive, the fact you have a low result is better than a negative and who knows what can happen over the next few days, I know it must be easy for me to say though.  

For me now whilst I have a positive result I am facing the next few weeks dreading a repeat of last time, something I know I would not cope with (at least not at the time). 

My thoughts are with you   , and I have everything crossed for you on Tuesday   .

Stay in touch as I feel I have found a new friend!

Take care

Sarah


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## beckyj1372 (Oct 6, 2008)

congratulations... i am really so pleased for you.  I bet you were shocked cos you did that test tues and it was negative... that is such good news..

Now you have to stay chilled out and (i know its rich coming from me!!!) stay positive.. it is your turn now...

CONGRATULATIONS

Becky x x x


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## parapol (Jul 24, 2008)

Thanks Becky

I am still a little dazed by the news, I don't think I can celebrate too much this time until I reach 12 weeks.

How are you today?  I hope you are relaxing and trying to stay positive, good news is still possible.

Did you get any replies from your posting?

Thinking of you.

Sarah xxx


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## beckyj1372 (Oct 6, 2008)

It must be very hard for you cos you must want to get really excited but i guess you cant let your self..

i got one replyfrom my post from a girl who it happened to twice and both times it was cos she had miscarried... Not the most positive reply but i did want all replies so i could be a bit objective, cos i have no real idea of the implications of a low positive, except the nurse didnt sound too impressed by it!!!!

have looked on the internet and some sites say thata HCG level over 25 is pregnant, mine is 27... other sites go on about below 5 is negative, over 50 is definate positive, so it seems i fall into a grey area in between... which is nice.

Problem is i cant help thinking "maybe" which means its going to hurt twice as much on tues.. oh well its only another 2 and a bit days.....


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