# Feeling empty



## Tiffanymi (Jan 18, 2013)

Hi all, just thought I would send a note here because I'm feeling very empty at the moment. I feel like it will never be my turn to get pregnant With each failed ivf, it just seems like it's not meant to be. It hurts more and more when I see people not only with kids but with kids growing up...I am so far behind and it doesn't seem like it will ever happen. I am feeling so sad...what if this is it and I won't be able to have kids!? I don't think I cold ever feel fulfilled. Does anyone have any tips on how to stay positive?


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## katehe (Mar 27, 2011)

I know that feeling and I can empathise.
Have you been trying for long? 
It really is a rubbish journey, I get through it by trying to remain in the moment and reminding myself that no-one knows what is found the corner...not even, those with children.
I have had counselling which helped , have you tried that?
This website has also pulled me thru as I found my friends cannot possibly understand the pain!
Kate x


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## Tiffanymi (Jan 18, 2013)

Thanks for your email. My egg count is very low and I don't have much time left...it's just so hard to go on trying but also while loosing hope.  I haven't tried counseling but actually should do that. I am doing another IVF now and they put me on Lucrin and a long protocol. It takes 2 months for the whole thing instead of 1. Do you know anything about this?


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## katehe (Mar 27, 2011)

Don't know about lucrin but I have tried long protocol which got me more eggs.
I found a bereavement counsellor just for 4/5 sessions who I helped me to grieve and taught me that there is no quick fix out there. I too, had a low egg reserve, but did not know this til after, so it was a big shock when they said not to try again. Would you consider donor eggs? It has taken me a year to start to consider this as an option....
Hang in there, you will find strength in you that you never knew you had x


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## Daisy-Chain (Aug 12, 2012)

Hi Tiffanymi  

I can totally sympathise with your situation, we've been trying for over 6 years now, had four failed ICSIs, never ever seen a positive on a pregnancy test and feel it will never be my turn, I will never be a mum but I know, I couldn't live the rest of my life without being a mum.

It's hard to stay positive sometimes, especially when it feels like the world is against you but I always manage it by having a plan, knowing what is the next step, knowing that I WILL be a mum one day because I will not stop until I am.  Accepting that if I cannot achieve that with mine and DH DNA, then there are other ways and yes, this isn't an easy decision to make, not by a long shot but our ultimate goal is to be parents, have a little baby of our own that we can love and cherish and if achieving this in a less than perfect way than we would have liked, then so be it!

I really hope things work out for you, I hope you can come back with a BFP soon!  Best of Luck


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## honeypieface (Mar 27, 2008)

Hi all

I completely understand where you're all coming from. After 9 years of trying I have finally got a bfp and had a 10 week scan!! I've had about 9 Icsi cycles inc frozen ones, just kept going and always sought the best advice I could. My most recent venture was speaking to dr braverman in New York, he really has worked miracles on people. There are no experts in this country in my opinion, but I have immune issues, only found out through investigations. You just need to keep planning and not gave long periods where you're not doing anything towards your goal!! Thinking of you all. Hope my story brings a glimmer of hope!! Not that I'm out of the woods yet! Xxxx


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## Tiffanymi (Jan 18, 2013)

Thanks everyone for your words. I will consider donor eggs but want to hold on a little longer with my own...I guess the decision is never clear cut on when you should do this. Thanks also for the inspirational story, showing that no matter how long you try, there can be a light at the end of the tunnel. At the moment though everything seems to be piling up- I'm at a job that I don't like and it's hard to find another one, especially with IVF, my position is also working 24/7 which puts extra stress. I can't have kids for now...and every now and then everything just elevates. This weekend has been one if those. I also hate to think what I'm doingto my body with all this medication etc  sometimes you just feel like a failure in everything. My husband is very supportive, but I know how badly he wants this as well...and it is my body that's preventing it. I just wish there was some miracle cure   thanks for the words in your messages it helps alot to gain some perspective.


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Tiffanymi- I have just come across your post and couldn't read without posting a reply.
I don't have any amazing advice and am still chasing my own dreams, BUT I can say one thing and that's when a dark day comes I choose to believe that this is just a part of my journey and one day my dreams will come true. 
x


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## Tiffanymi (Jan 18, 2013)

Thanks bubbletastic. I know, sometimes it's just hard to see themlightnn  but hoping this one is a bfp.  Hope your next one is too...


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