# 3 pregnancy announcements, bad gp and bad week



## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

Hi ladies the title says it all and just really need to vent and can't vent anywhere else, anyway my month started great for my birthday my dp was at work i was off work and a parcel came and he text me saying open it..it was a book on ivf first thought was lovely but we can't afford it so why the book I wonder well I text him to say thanks and He said go upstairs there's a noteon the wardrobe and there it says he had the money for ivf   shock was a understatement I was full of how, when? Anyway shock over ecitment kicked in.I went to my gp who said they'd help with blood costs...great! She helped with fsh lh hep b and c and hiv I had them done and the next day fsh and lh was normal and other bloods wernt there yet.....the days and week followed was where it all went wrong I rang from Monday to wedensday by the way I suffer anxiety and panic loads I was told no bloods yet to phone Friday as my gp wasn't in Thursday..Friday I rang to be told they're charging Mr for hep and hiv so I rang the path lab and paid and was told phone Monday...so I did and no bloods so I went to gp to collect some notes for ivf to be told when I paid for the bloods the lady had left the letter stating I paid and went home so mmy bloods were not processed amd the gp receptionist will phone when they are back. So my bloods would have been tested and we are now on Thursday and no phone call    so feelo g a bit low and with sore throat morning and night but not in the day , pain in my neck glands on one side I decided Google   what came up...hiv!! So I've been worried all week and now can't stop googling and also read if bloods were bad news they have to be tested a second time so now I've convinced myself something is wrong cause surely with me payingfor them they'd be back by now...on top of that I get a phone call Tuesday my brother and on off gf are expecting....then yesterday my cousin is expecting....then today my cousins wife expecting her third   I text them to wish them well, went for a bath and broke down. My dad really feels for me but I act strong in front of him saying those 2 words I'm ok! So now I've got pregnancys everywhere, worried sick about bloods, tcant think of ivf in case these bloods are bad and can't turn anywhere. I text dp at work "more pregnancy announcements feeling low" he says stop worrying your ok and well have ivf soon but I just can't get exited now cause of the bloods I'm worried sick and can't control this anxiety anymore. Each time I phoned the gp office I put the phone down a few times cause I'm so nervous I just don't Wang anything else to go wrong I don't know how much more I can take. I really thought the money is there, help with bloods...kind of, and well book ivf soon but it's not gone that way. How can I cope with all this ladies why am I worrying and if I do get to ivf and it fails show will I cope with all these babies..I'm so low right now please give me advice. Anyone else had bloods problems or baby news how'd you cope ?  to everyone going through it x


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## WolfyOne (Apr 30, 2014)

GP blood test probs are a lot more common than you think. A lot can go wrong their end. We were due to start DIUI and had to wait for my blood group results from the GP in order to be matched with a donor. The clinic arranged for me to have the test with the GP to save money. Well over a week after the blood test there were still no results and it was reaching the point where the clinic were going to cancel the treatment due to the delay. It turned out that the nurse had incorrectly filled out the paperwork and when the bloods arrived at the hospital they disposed of the blood but hadn't informed anyone, so fault on both their parts. I had to have the blood retaken and thankfully it was just in time as we were gutted at the idea of cancelling treatment I was already on fertility medication for (which would have meant putting off for 2-3mths).

A friend of mine just the other week ended up having to have blood retaken prior to radio iodine treatment, which again was almost cancelled due to the delayed blood results, as the nurse had not ticked all the correct tests so again had to have another blood test. It was just in time to avoid her treatment being delayed by 6mths.

As I say it happens more often than you think, and at least you are not at risk of having previously scheduled treatment delayed due to the results. By the way, sore throat and glands can be caused by everything and anything, it is extremely common. Just focus on the fact you guys are going to have treatment  

Pregnancy news in a close family is tough. After our second round of treatment we found out my bro and his partner were expecting. Conception came very easily to them whilst we had to come to terms with a failed MESA op on my DH and using a donor.  We then found out our treatment had worked and were over the moon planning things all together. We then had a m/c and lost the baby. It was a struggle knowing both ours and their baby would have been weeks apart and to be honest I had to avoid her for the majority of her pregnancy as I couldn't take how unfair it all was at the time. Thankfully I am now pregnant following our fourth treatment and we are over the moon. Hang in there!


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## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

Thanks for your reply and sp etimes it makes me wonder what actually goes on in a gp surgery. I've told them each time I rang that I'm a worrier and didn't seem to bother them at allI just got passed around to different people. The glands i wasn't sure if they were swollen at first just a bit achy and sore throat and thought it was hay fever allergy but after taking tablets it's not gone away and my neck feels warm, my mum seems to think it's all the worry that's got to me and I'm just under the weather...I dI hope so. Why do we worry so much about something and nothing. 

Sorry about your mc. I was also pregnant when my cousins wife was pregnant with her second due the same day! I stect her and told her about loosing our baby then tried to stay away a bit was really hard when baby was born. 

I think it all just got to me yesterday. I'm scared to be exited and happy because something goes wrong and yesterday it just got to me and I thought why me? Did I do something wrong in my past to deserve all of this! I've been around one of my pregnant cousins before but I was ok with her because of how sensitive she Was, it's like a can accept it from certain people.

Woke up this morning made a cuppa and sat down straight away babies came to mind and bloods I just can't relax at all, last night I tried a hot bath, jamas on, cuppa tea and biscuits and my Avon book and I still just couldn't relax


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## CrazyHorse (May 8, 2014)

Hon, I would be very, VERY surprised if you have HIV. You could have easily picked up any of several much more transmissible viruses that could cause swollen lymph nodes. Take a deep breath and set that worry to one side -- spiralling off into endless "what ifs" about test results that aren't even back yet isn't going to help you.

Also, and I know this probably is little comfort to you right at this moment, you ARE young. You have time to get this sorted out, and even if you experience some delay in starting treatment due to hiccups in the investigation process, that delay is unlikely to have any real effect on your fertility by the time you get treatment underway. You're in a much better situation than someone who is 38 and whose fertility is rapidly declining while waiting for the NHS to pull their finger out! 

As for other people's babies, remember that they are just that -- other people's babies. What you want is YOUR baby. Their babies coming into the world don't make it any less likely that your baby will one day be a reality.


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## violeta (Aug 28, 2014)

Oh sweetheart, my heart really goes out to you. I really can sympathise with health anxiety - I suffered with it from when I was 13 and only managed to kick it last year at the age of 33. I got over it by working with a psychologist who, amongst other things, taught me some CBT techniques. If you have a smartphone I really recommend the app Headspace, which is great for mindfulness. It won't mean that you will kick the health anxiety altogether but it will make things seem less overwhelming. I also recommend meditative yoga - you can look that up on YouTube. It will help you learn to deal with those sorts of moments, although you will need to work at it for a while. I really really do sympathise as it's awful.

I can also relate to the pregnancy announcements. I've been signed off work with stress which was caused by my miscarriage and then the fourth treatment not working, whilst there are pregnancy announcements everywhere. On the streets where I live there are pregnant women on every corner. Sometimes I cope with it and sometimes I don't. On the days where I'm ok with seeing them, I simply put my focus on my breathing and remember that they are just another person, they may have even had similar problems to me. It's difficult, it is. But it is doable. One day we will both be in the position where other women on the street might feel upset looking at us - not that wanting to upset others is a goal, it's just that we have no idea of others' journeys. Some may have piled all their savings into private treatment and some may have just got lucky - we'll never know. I don't know if that will help you at all but it helped me deal with it. I'm still very on and off but I am getting better at it and you will get there too.

Thinking of you. X


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## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

Love your post violeta thanks really cheered me up sorry you go through it too. 
Well today I rang the gp surgerydemanding my bloods they said they are here come collect the notes who j on the date stated these were in fact done Monday   anyway they allcame back 'normal no action' BUT one says 'satisfactory no action, meant for pre fertility' what the   does that mean. I was so happy when I colleceted my results and opened it when I got home and thought what does that mean and yes......I googled   and it states its normal which is fair enough but why wouldn't the others say the same thing? Why do do doctora ect makeit so hard to understand? I obviously happy these areok I can now do ivf but I don't want my clinic to say what does that mean. The receptionist said all ok don't need see doctor and I don't want make an appointment because I know if it was something I'd be told but just wanted to see if you ladies had the same on your notes. 
Crazy horse your right I am young and that goes for me which is great and all what you say makes sence and you made me feel loads better I never thought of it that way.Feeling bit better today than yesterday. Yesterday I just bro in the bath and cried and when my dp finished work last night I said I done know how to feel I actuall feel like I'm on the edge and I just do t know how much more I can take I feel like shouting and screaming and crying. why can't I just be normal and why do I always think something wrong with me. I really had enough I'm hoping I dont get back to that thought it was horrible x


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## CrazyHorse (May 8, 2014)

Glad your results all came back normal, sounds like you need a hug.   Can you maybe access some counseling, either for anxiety or for infertility? BICA (bica.net) has lists of counsellors who specialise in infertility-related matters. Sounds like you need someone besides only your DP to talk to, someone who hopefully will "get" what you're going through.  

/links


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## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

Thanks for the     I used to go counselling after breaking down at a doctors appointment about a rash that turned into me    My dp never understood why I needed the counselling but it really worked she thought I'd need cbt but by the time my sessions were coming to an end I felt fab finally controlled my anxiety ect and have done well since other than slight hiccups but otherwise ok but these bloods and announcement just started me again I hate anxiety and never thought I'd have it x


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