# Starting ICSI and worried about taking time out from work!



## Barbara494 (Jan 29, 2012)

Hi to all! I never realised the amount off people in the same situation until I started talking about this process xx

My husband to be and I have been trying for a baby for 3.5years and now been reffered to start the ICSI process at the start of me next period (due next week). Coming from a large family I can not think about this not working, I get upset each time a sibling tell me they are expecting - I'm happy for them but always left asking why not me, I've worked hard, got a home and a loving DP to offer a child the best start in life.

This is stressful enough but I'm worried about my work situation, I started with a small company in November . My Manager (MD) is female and unsympathetic to people with children, she is very driven about the business and I'm worried about taking time off work for appointments. How can I do this without letting her know?


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## lou/s (Jan 19, 2012)

i no exactly how you feel i have worked for the company i am at for 13 years it is a young working enviroment run by men not many of the staff have children. sickness is not tolerated. i am in a senior possition with alot of responsibilities long hours and stress!! i know i am going to have to tell them at some point because like you say the whole thing is stressful enough without worries about work ect.....
good luck anyway xxx


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## sabah m (Jul 11, 2008)

Hi Barbara  

Sorry for the work situation and also about how you feel when siblings announce pregnancies....my sister expecting second child in april 

Although my work know and are fine about it, (manager and colleagues are all broody as hell!!) my clinic has very early appointments-7am and late ones until 9pm-they have always fitted me in. Through 4 tx cycles it has never meant me taking time off, apart from 2ww, for which clinic gave sick note saying surgical procedure . Its a pretty small clinic too, so worth asking about appointment timing. However, stuff your MD etc, you have a right to a family and maternity leave etc no matter what her personal views. I would have no qualms about telling her why you need time off so she feels awkward to say anything to you!!!

Good luck in your journey xxx


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

Hello and welcome to the madness that is Fertility Friends.    doesn't help having an unsympathetic boss - have one of those myself. I just told him had an appointment for 'womens troubles'.... Then took leave whilst having treatment (abroad) and my GP kindly put me on sick leave for 2WW.    for your forthcoming treatment.

I've included links to other boards that will have some words of wisdom and support for you:

*Cycle Buddies ~ *CLICK HERE

*IVF Boards ~ *CLICK HERE

Have a look round the site and if you get a little stuck with the navigation side of things - please shout!

We also have a chat room - which is a fabulous place to 'meet' and chat with others. Our newbie chat is every Wednesday. A great chance to meet other new members and find out a little more about how the site works.

*Newbie chat ~ *CLICK HERE

All the best - our paths may cross again in other areas of the site.
Good luck,

  

Mini xx


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## yvonneglynn (Jan 31, 2012)

Hi Barbara

Don't be worried about telling your boss or taking time out as this is the most important thin in your life. a job will not always be there for you and not supposed to take over our lives. However I let mine do that and became very very anxious once I had started treatment and ended up having very very low moments and flu. This made me realise that it is not worth making myself ill over work. and I know that many people are able to carry on working but I just couldn't. However your boss needs to know and will be more supportive than you think. I am now seeing occupational health and found them to be an extremely worthwhile support. The most important thing for you to remember is that you have the right to this and the right to time off. It doesn't need to be announced to everyone just see the main boss and explain that you would also like this to be kept quiet. You have the right to privacy and the right to appointments without feeling pressured. I hope you get it all sorted. Good Luck 

Yvonne


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## EmmaD23 (Dec 17, 2011)

Hi Barbara!

I have just posted pretty much the exact same post on a differant section so I cant really offer much advice just wanted you to know that you are not alone. Nobody at execpt me and DH know about what we are going through and I really want to keep it that way (cannot face talking about it). My boss is also very unsympathetic and at times very unprofessional so dont think things would be kept quiet even if I was to tell her!
Ive kind of got to the stage now where I just think screw everyone else, this is my life and the most important in it is us having a baby and if it means I leave work short staffed then TUFF! Actually Im not that brave and Im not really sure what I will do if I cant book holiday ~hehe!

Anyway good luck with everything and babydust to all! xxxx


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## Nessybaby (Nov 13, 2011)

Hi Barbara, 
I'm currently on my 2ww and on annual leave. 
I completely understand where your coming from! I told my female boss about my up and coming tx this month with IVF/ICSI.  I got the stand offish remarks about being let down, short staffed and just remember you are a senior staff member remarks, you'll be letting the team down. I stressed and stressed about this so much, that even after having a car accident in Dec on a weekend, I turned up for work Monday morning in agony. I didn't dare ring in sick as I knew the hassle I'd get if I did.  I even worked the Tue in pain and in the evening I passed out in the train station coming home. I thought then, enough is enough. I visited my GP the very next day and she signed me off for a total of 5 weeks, whiplash, high blood pressure, blood shot eyes and stress related. My Gp even said I had a case for bullying and harrasment in the workplace and she documented everything for me.  My boss was livid about my time off,  but I just sent in my sick paper and took it easy. My GP was kind enough to take my sick right up to the start of my IVF tx plan. I took 2 weeks of holiday leave for this as again, my horrible boss just didn't see how I could do such a thing as to take time off (and not knowing exact dates of scans, follow up scans and bloods) . I even had the staff all asking me about my tx, so I knew she had broken my confidentiality about keeping it quiet. I just stuck to my guns. 
The morale of this story is, no job is worth getting so stressed and depressed about, especially when IVF Tx is due or your currently undergoing it all. I'm due back in work Monday, so I will see what their reaction is like and how I'm treated. If it's not good, they can have my immeadiate notice. My life is too important to worry about theirs!
Like Yvonne has said,You have the right to privacy and the right to appointments without feeling pressured. I hope your boss will see sense. Be honest about your tx and you may well be suprised by her reaction. My story is just a needle in a haystack and prob don't happen much to all those who work and take time for tx. 
I hope it goes well, maybe during your ec/et 2ww take leave...again see what your employer has to say 1st. Good luck
ness xxx


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