# i'm, so angry



## kelway (Dec 9, 2006)

is it me over reacting due to hormones or do you think i am right but i am so bloody ****** off - dh came in at 2am last night drunk, don't know how much he had drunk and yes i have seen him more drunk but he had had far more than two pints - i am so angry as i am mid cycle and even if it makes absoluately no difference what so ever to his sperm if we have sex the next day i take it as a total lack of support - i am putting this sh*t into my body and could live to regret it in the forthcoming years (if you get my drift) and all i ask of him is to cut back the drink. he isn't meant to be drinking at all at the moment (due to being over weight, nothing to do with my lack of fertility) but he has slipped seriously off the wagon the last few weeks, he admits this. he went out for a pint on thursdsay and i made such a big deal about him having just one pint instead of two, he had two but said they were low strength. so to go out last night and drink so much when he knows how i feel, that i am mid cycle and pull of hormones, that we can't try next month due to him being away, i am SO BLOODY ANGRY i could scream. he keeps saying he is sorry but it is too late for that and his words count as sh*t, i  can hardly look at him. he has triggered a hormonal reaction and we were meant to be going out together today to spend time together but right now i can't think of anyone i least want to spend the day with. jo


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Sorry you are feeling so   hun   .. it is hard when you are pumping your body full of drugs you expect them to have a bit of thought too ..but Men don't seem to have the same thinking as us ladies ! it does seem particularly annoying especially as he knew you were upset before..perhaps he feels like he is being told what to do rather than letting him be grown up enough to think for himself..some men rebel if they think they are being told what to do! bit like children!

Anyway hun ..hope you work things out just keep talking to each other or if that is difficult because you are so angry ..write down how you feel and how important it is to you ..especially as he is away next cycle.. this may help him to understand why you are soooo angry. 

 Cat x


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## rizzo (Dec 7, 2006)

Oh you poor thing. It's probably a combination of so many things that make you feel like that - it will be hormones, the fact that you know this is the only chance you'll have before he's away next month, the fact that it's all down to us women to go through crap when they don't have to do anything!!! My DH is really good and he just worries about me, but there are times when he gets upset about it although he tries not to because he thinks it makes me feel worse!! Maybe your DH got drunk because he doesn't know how else to deal with it? Men are really odd when it comes to being 100% honest about their feelings, as if it's a sign of weakness. I think we forget sometimes that it hurts them too, and they feel even more helpless because all they want to do is make it right and look after their woman, and they can't!!!

Cat's right though, just keep talking, and you'll get there in the end. Makes   the last thing you feel like doing though, even when you know you have to!!


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## jocole69 (Dec 19, 2004)

Oh No!

What a nightmare. I think you are more hormonal cos of the tablets and also cos you dont really want to be taking drugs in the first place (I know exactly how you feel, i really begrudged taking clomid, esp as my Aunt died young of ovarian cancer cos of hormone drugs!!) you do think the least the blokes will do is support you and be there for his 'bit'.  Maybe he's getting stressed by it all too? have u asked how he feels bout it all? men are weird, wont tell you....

I have to say, dont worry about him drinking, i got my BFP after we had been away and drank large quantities of alcohol    Try and just drag him into bed in the next few days even if your peed off      Good luck    Jo x


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## kelway (Dec 9, 2006)

thanks ladies.x


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## Tina xx (Aug 30, 2006)

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I just wanted to send you loads of             I hope you and DH can sort things out. I have to say that I agree with everything that Cat says.

Tina xx


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## Viking Girl (Aug 20, 2006)

Hi,

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I can empathise to a certain extent as my hubby still smokes 20-30 per day despite the fact that we are TTC and now on clomid, but he is magnificantly supportive in all other ways, so I don't give him too much grief. He knows I want him to gve up, but the only way he will be successful at it is if he wants to do it for himself, so I know nagging him won't make any difference.

Try and keep your chin up and remember that men are a funny breed and it must be so hard for them being the inferior species!  

Karen


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Karen I like that .. he he


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## kelway (Dec 9, 2006)

i have been in tears this lunchtime as worked out dh's tour dates and works out that even though he is away for 'only' one month it works out that if my following cycle is around 28 days, then i miss not one but TWO trys and he would go just before and come back just after two mid c's - i have put my foot down and told him that he has to comehome early from the tour as the band wanted to add on two extra dates and it is with that in mind that i have said he can't do it and to blame me and tell them why, i am not bothered although i think they already know i have been unable to conceive No. 2, i am not ashamed. i am not going to play second fiddle to the band, especially as nick is the 'hired hand' (session musician, it may be different if it was his band but it ain't) - i have about as much chance of getting pg as an old hen, so many obsticles, my age is bad enough but all this is a nightmare. rant over, feel better! jox


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

bless you .. Are they playing far away? can he not put you up in a posh hotel or B&B  and   in pampered luxury? 

He can surely travel a fair way to come back home for a quickie 
put your foot down gal  
Cat x


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## kelway (Dec 9, 2006)

hi cat, thanks for your response, they are playing in america, doesn't get much further than that plus as for my staying.....wives/girlfriends on the road don't really go hand in hand, one show yes but not on the tour bus travelling with the band, feel like a right tit!  to be honest, i have been trying for so long and am now so old that here or not it is unlikely that i would get pg anyway, just takes away any hope if he ain't here and it is hope that keeps me going! thanks for your support. jox


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Oh bugger that is no good then ..sorry hun no help there then..how frustrating for you    you will have to make sure you really pamper yourself whilst he is away... make the most of it and think of it as you are doing yourself good by destressing and pampering and then when he gets back you will be gagging to get back to the   ... sending you extra positive vibes to get you through this difficult time              
and a big  
Cat x


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## vicster (Dec 16, 2006)

Aww, Kelway,that's sooo frustrating.   

My dh is a musician but luckily isn't touring for the foreseeable future  - he keeps saying things like "what will we do when I go on tour etc", so your scenario has crossed my mind.  Most of his band are session musicians as well so I know what that lifestyle is like - there are many disatissfied girlfriends and wives!!!

I wish I could suggest something to fix it.

Hope you are feeling better.

Love and   
Vicster
x


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## kelway (Dec 9, 2006)

hi vicster, exciting being with a musician yes but a nightmare at times too! i don't like feeling like the bad guy/demanding wife and the band don't know yet that nick wants to fly back on a specific date, they are so used to him being obliging, he has been playing with them for 5 years but it is tough. i am an old bag and the clock is nearly ticked out. best of luck to you. i too am on the old clomid, not sure if i have ov'd, technically i should have done a day or so ago but still feel very ovary'ish so not sure if i have or not yet, possibly still will in which case i am ov'ing late blah blah makes my head spin, mind you, ov or not i still don't get pg! all the best. joxx


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## SarahPooh (Nov 7, 2006)

Awww, Jo  sorry you are going through such a tough time. I don't really know what to say but just wanted to send you a hug. And tell you that my DH complained about having to take his vitamins the other day and I went off on one about what I'll have to go through if we have IVF, nearly bit the poor bloke's head off!    Hang in there honey.  

Sarah xx


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## kelway (Dec 9, 2006)

thanks sarahxxxx


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## Kissy Bear (Aug 2, 2006)

Hi Kelway!

Just wanted to say that I know exactly what you are going through as the same thing happened to me during my first cycle of clomid! (I see some sequence here) DH came home drunk on the day I started ov...

I felt like throwing the towel in during the first month as I felt a baby is the comitment of both parents and its not a great start to making one... and many more feelings just like you mentioned....

I would like to tell you my experience and some how defend my other half... Because we (ladies) are taking the tablets, feeling the side effects, living and feeling our strange bodily functions... this is a constant reminder of the tx (ordeal) we are going through... In turn I tried to discuss this with my partner 24/7 and eventually he just shut himself away from me... As much as I asked and pleaded the more he didn't listen... 

I found that when I stopped talking about tx and allocated special time to discuss this together... I tried my best not to talk 24 hours about tx... this worked a treat but the final realisation was when I became terribly sick and he couldn't tell the doctors what tablets I had taken or who my consultant was... I think it was then that it hit him...

I can promise that if I mention this to my DH about him getting pi**ed during the first cycle he winces with regret...

I do hope you find some resolution to your problem and the BMS will not be abondoned although I know how difficult it was for me but some how all this difficulty makes the relationship stronger - you just have to find that common ground...

Wishing you lots of love and understanding.... and of course baby dust!

xXx


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## kelway (Dec 9, 2006)

hi kissybear, thanks for your kind words. everything is fine with dh thanks. i noticed you are going to go down the iui path, i am aiming to do that too in a couple of months, not too sure about it, think i am too old but heh, will try most things if i have the money (roughly around £600 compared to ivf with is 1000's!). all the best to you too. joxx


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## Kissy Bear (Aug 2, 2006)

Keep going hun! Clomid has made many women happy...

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