# Thinking about doing it again but need advice



## mummy to little pea (Nov 8, 2013)

Hi all,

we have had our little one home just under a year now and hopefully adoption order will be complete by the end of march (fingers crossed).  I love being a mummy and never thought either me or my husband would ever say these words (especially my hubby) but we have been talking and saying how much we would like another and would be a great companion for our little one.  Our 1 problem is that we only have a 2 bedroomed house, we have discussed this and would love our little ones to share a room (planning on 2 years apart in age gap and of the same sex - girls) would this create a problem with LA's has anybody adopted again where their little ones shared a room, we have a dining room that rarely gets used and would be very happy in to moving our bedroom down there whilst the little ones get used to each other but we are in a fantastic house and really don't want to move as we live 500 yds away from my mum and my sister and cousin and network support are also within a 5 minute walk.  any advice would be greatly appreciated.

also would we need to go through complete process again if we adopted a 2nd child or would it be a more fast forward approach, we would ideally like to have a little one around our DD's 4th birthday which is in a years time in july but planning ahead and making sure we overcome all obsticles.

Thanks peops x


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## Marley49 (Mar 4, 2013)

I asked my sw this question the other day, she told me that it needs to be a 4 year gap and they have to have their own rooms.

Xx


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Most LAs would be fine with two year age gap, although by the time you'd been assessed again etc it's likely to be more.

They are more likely to have an issue with biologically unrelated siblings sharing a room, however.  Some LAs simply wouldn't consider it, but some might, however in the event you were re-approved on the basis of room sharing, it's quite possible it would put off some children's SWs which could make it difficult for you to get another young baby girl placed, given how rare these placements are anyway.  We had biologically related siblings with just under a two year age gap.  For a while we considered room sharing and SS were OK with this because they were related, but in the end we decided it would just be an added strain for the kids.  We were fortunate to have a spare bedroom.  The kids were complete strangers on placement and honestly it would have been pretty much a disaster with our two.  It was so hard for them to suddenly be together all the time anyway, that what little separation they did have was invaluable and they still struggle with too much time together, even now.  Sadly, we are a long way from them being great companions for each other.  There are so many other stresses and difficulties our children face on placement that biological families do not have to consider that I can in all honesty understand why Social Workers would favour a situation where children can have their own rooms over one where they can't, and why they like a larger age gap.  

I'm sure it can work and I'm sure people have made it work, but it could also be another factor that makes things significantly more difficult in a situation that's difficult enough already for both children.

I would ask the question of your SW now, though, so that you know early what your LA's position is, and can plan accordingly.

All the best,

Wyxie xx


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## Sun Flower (Jul 14, 2008)

Hi
I'm not sure about room sharing as we have 2 spare rooms, but we asked SS regarding age gap and they confirmed its 2yrs gap in our LA and approx. 4-6 months to pass stage 2 for the second approvals (stage 1 not needed second time round!)

Good luck x


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## kizzi79 (Jan 9, 2009)

Hi mummy to little pea.
I am at a similar stage. C has been home 19 months and I would love another. I have spoken to the sw who has said in our LA the older child must be at least 3 when you reapply and there would then need to be at leat a 2 and a half year age gap. Here they will not let you have non bio siblings share so I am going to have to do an extension or re purpose another room first.
Good luck with it (I have lovely sisters so personally think having siblings would be great for our children), K  x


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