# friend's third baby



## JLJ (Aug 20, 2008)

Hi,

Wasn't sure really where to post. Feeling really sad today, a good friend of mine has just had a little boy this morning, her third naturally conceived gorgeous baby! Easy to conceive (she has 3 under 4 years old!), easy pregnancy and wonderful deliveries! I am so envious. It should have been easier this time to hear the news as I now have my wonderful little girl but it wasn't. I wish it could be so easy for me to have a second baby, it seems so unfair. I know that in comparison to some I am very lucky and I am so grateful for that but when I compare myself to my friend it seems so unjust. I know I will feel better about this tommorrow but for today I just feel so sad that to have another baby I will have to go through all the uncertainty of treatment again with no guarantees. I don't have any friends who are in the same postion as me so I thought I would share here. I know there are no answers but sometimes it feels better to just have a little rant!! Thanks for listening!!!

Jenny


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## professor waffle (Apr 23, 2005)

Jenny I do really know how you feel. In the time since I had N 4 out of the 7 NCT girls are onto No2 & one has been pg 3 times in that time (she mc twice which was horrid but it seems she gets pg so easily!). One talked about having another one & then only 4 months or so later she was 12 weeks.

I used to think (before I had N) that people should be thankful for one but now I know secondary IF is just as hard if not harder.


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## JLJ (Aug 20, 2008)

Thanks guys, Im feeling much better today! Had lots of cuddles with Freya and DH. I am focusing on a PMA, I will get pregnant again one day when the time is right!!


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## CurlyJo (Sep 7, 2008)

Hi Jenny

Wow everything I have just read sums up just how I have been feeling. 

I meet up with my friends every week and now they are all on to there 2nd child, and talking about having no 3.  I wish it was that easy.  I find it so hard as I feel lost in there conversation as it is all about baby no 2.  Although I have a gorgeous boy aged 4, I feel so isolated.  I love all my friends to bits, but some days I don't even want to meet up with them.

Yesterday my best friend who was having infertility problems has just found out she is pregnant.  I am so happy for her as out of all us she was the one who understood the hearbreak I go through every month, and has always been there for me.  Now I feel so alone in this world of seoncdary infertillity, its almost that no-one wants to talk about it as we should be happy with the one miracle that we do have.

I cherish each day I have with my little boy, but as I pack him of to nursery and I come home to my empty house I feel so sad, some days I feel fine, but others are just so low.

My first hospital appt is soon, to see what the problem may be, my dh sperm seems to be ok.  So it is down to me.  I will keep you posted.

Hoping it will so be us.

Joanne


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## JLJ (Aug 20, 2008)

Hi Joanne,

You are right it does seem as though we can't talk about wanting another baby, almost like we are being ungrateful for the beautiful children we have got. If I confide in anyone how I feel that does not understand infertility they say 'Oh just enjoy Freya' which makes me feel so horrible as though I am not satisfied with what I have got. This could not be further from the truth, Freya is so wonderful and I am enjoying being a mum so much that I desperately want to be able to do it again. I want Freya to be a big sister. Just because we have problems getting pregnant does not mean we don't have the same desire as fertile women to extend our families. 

Best of luck with your appointment, was your son conceived naturally? 

Jenny


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## CurlyJo (Sep 7, 2008)

Hi Jenny,

Yes Harry was conceived naturally, after being on the pill for nearly ten years.

Its strange as well, but everywhere I look everything TV, Books etc is about people having babies.  Have you noticed?

Thanks for your reply.

Joanne


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