# Hubby feeling the pressure



## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Hi all,

Feeling very frustrated at the moment. Its around my fertile time (day 18 of 35 day cycle) & my hubby's equipment is refusing to co-operate.   I know he feels under pressure and I'm telling him to just enjoy it and don't worry, theres always next month. But I just want us to give ourselves the best chance of conceiving. 

So frustrating!   We've got our first appointment at the infertility clinic in May but I was kinda hoping we wouldn't need it.  

Scotgirl.x


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## raspberrytipple (Feb 4, 2012)

Been there, had that!  It is extremely frustrating but whereas us women will have a good rant or a cry, I think this how mens anxiety about the whole TTC malarkey comes out.  In the end we had to take a step right back and just leave it for a while, as infuriating as it was it was the only way to get him back to normal.  I also tried approaching from a different angle, i.e. DTD had become a regimented task, (done 30 minutes before bed so I could lie quietly to give sperms the best chance obv) so grabbing straight from work, early in the morning,just doing something different where TTC was not mentioned and not the focus.  Easier said than done though and I will admit I had to do a bit of acting every now and then as I was still in 'baby making mode' but after a couple of months it got us back on track and we both felt better for it.  If 'it' doesn't work it's sometimes better to just leave it and cuddle rather than force the issue.  Anyway, we got there in the end but I've had to learn not to go into attack mode too often or the problem does come back.


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## Artypants (Jan 6, 2012)

I hear ya! It must be awful for them to feel sooooo much pressure to "perform" I really try and put some effort in making it as spontanious as possible (for him) it seems much less like baby making and much more about us. We have had a years practice so its getting easier to think it isnlt going to happen each month so we try and get on with enjoying oursleves. I know its easier said then done as I have been there where he's frustrated with himself, you are too but you dont want to show it, we normally take half an hour, have a drink and a chat and then try again, things tend to sort theselves out in the end!

Lots of luck, its soo stressful without the added worry of this as well x


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Thanks ladies, yeah its a tough one. I'll just need to be patient with him. Maybe a break from TTC is just what we need. Or maybe a bit more excitement!
Scotgirl.xx


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

I'd go for excitement and spontaneity - BMS sorry to say, can get soo tedious and regimented - no the wonder our men suffer - been there too - think it's par for the course.... fingers crossed things happen for you - even if you do end up down the ferility treatment route, it's not the end of the world - but it is soooo stressful !

Wishing you all the very very best 
Sheila


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Thanks Sheila - i love reading all your posts on the site.  
Kirsty.xx


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

Bless ya Kirsty - yes, I do post an awful lot hahahah


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Omg - I just randomly used an OPK & got a smiley face! Hope my hubby is in good working order 2nite! (I wont tell him about ovulation.)
Eek!xx


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## Jeme1ca2345 (Nov 23, 2009)

Good luck!


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

Hahahaha - hope you jumped on him - now thats what I call spontaneous   

 
Sheila


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Haha, yeah i did jump on him.   think we've got a fair chance. Just the 2ww now & then we'll find out.   
Kirsty.xx


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## purplepeak (Jan 31, 2012)

Well done for jumping on him! Just wanted to say we've been there too. They are under awful pressure and I think perhaps if there are any mf issues at all somehow they might link teh two in their mind, even if not very consciously. Anyway, although the problem came back for us for a while recently, it's def one you can overcome, as this morning  . Good luck for your bfp.


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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

Hey scotgirl, 
You're DH is definately not the only one to suffer from this type of 'stage fright', we've been in that boat too and it threw us a little when it happened, god love him he more really upset by it. But it's just part of the journey and as long as you can sit down and comfort each other and talk through how youre feeling in the long run it'll bring you closer together. Good luck with the 2ww
x


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Thanks all, yeah its obviously affecting him more than he lets on. Oh well, we can relax now.
I'll let you know how we get on.   Trying to stay positive.
Good luck to you all.
Kirsty.xx


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## Artypants (Jan 6, 2012)

Snap, BF is really feeling the pressure this month, luckily we have until Sunday to get things prefected :-0 Poor guys x


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

Practice makes perfect     soo much for lots of positive results   
Sheila


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

I got my   this morning, omg omg!!  

Did a CB digital test & it finally came up Pregnant 1-2 weeks. I cried my eyes out, never thought I would get a BFP! Just made my hubby take a photo of me with the peestick!  

Thanks to all my FF buddies for support. I'm gonna need more support in the weeks to come. How am I going to keep this secret I'm going to stay with my family for Easter weekend!

Love &   to all.

Kirsty.xx


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

OMG OMG OMG OMG        

What can I say Kirsty - woppppeeeee         

Am chuffed to bits for you and hubby   - bet you're in a state of shock and floating on   

OOhh yes, and   naturally done too (ignore what I said earlier hun  ) 

Delighted for you - and yes, just keep it quiet for a wee while, it's lovely you and hubby having such a wonderful secret - you can giggle and smile at each other, and people won;t have a clue why you're both grinning like a pair of cheshire cats xxx

Wishing you an uneventful but wonderful pregnancy - and as always, we're always here for support xxxx

Hugs and best wishes
Sheila


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Thanks Sheila, Yes I couldn't wait to tell you the good news!  

All the support &    good wishes from everyone on FF has definitely helped.

Yes I will try to keep the secret. I'm gonna pretend to be on antibiotics as the reason for not drinking.  

Just trying not to get too ahead of myself!

Love to all,

Kirsty.xxx


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## purplepeak (Jan 31, 2012)

Congratulations!! That's really wonderful news and I'm very happy for you.    (I know my message doens't look as happy as Sheila's but I've got no idea how you get all those pictures or flashing bfps - I only seem to have the choice of a bunch of faces). 
I wish you an easy and very very happy pregnancy. And please keep your fingers crossed we get to follow you into bfp-land soon
Take care
P x


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## rachel petch (Sep 7, 2010)

Wow, I ve just stumbled upon this thread, and what can I say Scotgirl! OMG OMG OMG!


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Thanks so much Purplepeak & Rachel,

Yeah I still cant believe its happened.  Just trying not to get ahead of myself, its early days. 

Good luck & baby dust to all. BFPs all round! 

Kirsty.xx

P.S. Purplepeak - under the smileys it says [more], if you click on that theres loads more smileys & stuff in there.


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## purplepeak (Jan 31, 2012)

Hey, thanks Kirsty! Doh, I'm such a loser with computers. And so now I can congratulate you properly!


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