# Finding the inner 'sexy' after IVF



## Juice09 (Jan 1, 2012)

Hi ladies 

We've all been through it...internal examinations, internal ultra sound scans, doctors heading up there to collect eggs, doctors heading up there again to transfer embies....and if that wasn't enough..some may have had Cyclogest pessaries and needed to use the gorgeous pads to mop up any mess!  

Is it any wonder the inner 'sexy' has gone to the opposite side of the world?!

Just wondered if anyone has any tips to share about getting a physical relationship back on track?  Or has anyone found counselling useful? 

Love Juice
Xx


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## smallyetfeisty (May 2, 2011)

Hey Juice,

Not sure I've got any answers on this one, but just wanted to reply that I defintely know where you're coming from!  In fact, I'm not even sure I can remember what a 'normal' sex life is like after 18 months of 'trying to conceive' sex, 3 months of 'no sex as what's the point/ feeling down after getting our test results', a full year of treatment that felt like constantly start / stop and got us out of all routines of being together (as well as involving all the delights you describe) and then a pregnancy during which we avoided sex altogether in order to try and play things safe.  

Now, on the back of a miscarriage, I'm also just trying to find my inner sexy again and I can only say that so far - for me at least - it might be about trying to very actively and deliberately make time for sex by choosing to switch off the tv, go and have a bath / make our bedroom inviting and very consciously getting myself into a different headspace.

Sorry to see from your signature that you've also recently had a miscarriage too.  Hope you're doing ok - or as ok as you can be.

x


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## 1972 (Feb 5, 2011)

Hi ladies

I haven't had to deal with same upsets that ou have, but after FTC for 2 years and 3 Icsi cycles in 7 months , what's inner sexy....??!! 

I have to make a real effort to try and get in mood for sex, not because I dont love my dh or find him attractive etc, just because I'm numb to everything right now and it's just not on my radar... 

Crazy how thing one thing that may give me a miracle baby is the last thing we feel like doing  

I think it's normal but heartbreaking and I'd just suggest chilling, candles, bath maybe and lots of cuddles xxx


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## LJyorkshire (Jan 12, 2011)

Hi Ladies

My pennysworth?

Perhaps a change of scene to kick start things? My DP just booked us a night away somewhere we'd never been. I packed some non Bridget Jones knickers and a few "toys" in case I felt in the mood ..lazing around in a non-BMS environment really helped get the va-va voom back...getting dressed up for dinner helped too!the spark has continued since we got home too. I know it's spending extra money on top of the cost of IVF but it was worth every penny to be away from the IVF rut. If its your "thing" maybe also consider reading some erotic fiction before bed..may just start things a -tingling and you may even fancy instigating it from time to time.

Good luck ladies!

LJ x


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