# Looking to Start or Going Through Adoption Part 14 2005/6



## KarenM

Updated list = hope I have everyone correct!

* Post matching *

*Karen *: Approved at panel on 22nd April 2004. First little girl moved in on 8/11/04, second little girl moved in on 9/12/04. Legally adopted 21/10/05

*Bex *(Bex32): Approved at panel in April 2004. Little boy moved in on 8/11/04. Sister moved in on 8/4/05

*Ann*: Approved at panel on 4th November 2004. Matched to two girls, who moved in in January 2005. Legally adopted 31st August 2005

*Cindy*: Approved at panel on 27th October 2004. Matched to a little boy who moved in Feb 2005. Legally adopted 21st July 2005.

*Everhopeful*: Approved at panel in 17th Feb 2005, little girl moved in on 23/05/05. Legally adopted 19th December 2005

*Mandy* (MSW): Approved at panel on 3/3/2005, little boy moved in on 10/06/05. Court date to legally adopt Jan 2006.

* Superal* Adopted 3 year old boy 8 years ago and a 9mth old baby girl 4 years ago


* Post Panel/Awaiting Match *

*Caroline W*: Approved at panel in September 2004, now awaiting a suitable match.

*Nat* (Crazy): Approved at panel in March 2005, now awaiting suitable match.

*Ruth*: Approved at panel on 2/6/2005, now awaiting suitable match. Waiting to hear about a possible match

* LB *: Approved at panel on 15/6/05, now awaiting suitable match.

*Ang* (Molly 2003): Approved at panel August 2005, now awaiting suitable match

*Kylie* (Boomerang Girl): Approved at panel on 24/11/05, now awaiting suitable match. Waiting to hear about a possible match

*Tracey H*: Approved at panel 23/11/05, now awaiting suitable match

* Val 12 * Approved at panel December 2005, now awaiting suitable match

* Shelly* Approved at panel December 2005, now awaiting suitable match



 * Waiting for Panel Date/Panel Result *

*Morgana*: Going to panel November 2005

*Pam (saphy75) * Panel 10/01/06

* Momo * Panel 21/01/06


* Home Study/Prep Course *

*Homer & Marge*: Prep course September 2004.

*Nicola *(NickyDuncanFinn): Prep course Feb 2005

*Nicky*: Currently doing assessment

*Shannis*: Prep course starts 2/9/04

* Georgia * Prep course starts 2/2/05

* JenniferF* Currently on home study. Hopefully going to panel Feb/Mar 2006

* Barbarella * Prep course completed, now on home study

* Jude2 * Currently on Home Study. Panel date of September 2005 given.

* Danielle * Initial visit done, waiting for prep course dates

* Magenta * Prep course completed, now on homestudy. Panel 6/4/06?

* HelenB * Currently doing home study. Panel October 2005

* HHH * Prep course done June 2005

* Fiona * *Adopting from RUSSIA*

* Emcon * Currently on home study

* Laine * Interview 11/1/06. Home study Feb/Mar 2006

* Lauren * Prep course complete. Waiting for allocation of SW to start home study

* (Gill) gillywilly * Started home study Oct 2005. Prep course Nov 2005

* keli haslem * Prep course Nov 2005

* keemjay * Home visit 15/11/05. Prep course Feb 2006

* Lulu/Lou * Home visit 17/11/05

* waiting to be mum * Prep course Nov 2005

* Alex28 * Prep course Nov 2005

* Lou W * Home visit 06/12/05

* Lisaw36 * Prep course 25/1/06

* (Chris) sussexgirl * Prep course Feb 06

* Donna Taylor * Interview 20/1/06. Prep course Feb 06

* Shi * Prep course Jan 06

* Kizzie * Prep course Jan 06



* Initial Stages *

*Nerys (lochness)* Attending Foster Care Open evening on 27/01/05

* Nic (Hopingforbaby) * Currently considering the adoption option

* Flymypretties * Initial visit March 2005

* Natasha * Intro evening 11th Jan 2005

* michelledawn* Open evening w/c 14/3/05

* Tracey-new* Open evening w/c 14/3/05

* jainey* About to start the journey

* Charlie1 * considering adoption

* Fiona1 * considering adoption

* g * considering adoption

* Cindy * considering adoption

* Yonny * open evening 8/9/05

* Jo * Daring to dream 

* ellepotter * considering adoption


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## LB

wow - this list looks great - so many people and all so busy - this will be so interesting to watch over the next few months.

good luck everyone hope 2006 brings lots of happiness to us all

HAPPY NEW YEAR


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## naoise

I just wanted to pop on to wish everybody 

A Happy New Year.

LOL KELI


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## Laine

Hi everyone,

Just popping in to wish you all:


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## jan welshy

HAPP Y NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL. I WISH FOR ALL YOUR DREAMS TO COME TRUE!!! L WELSHY
X X X


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## superal

HAPPY NEW YEAR 

Lets hope this is a really good year for so many of you.

1997 was a good start of the year for us - that's when we got to meet our SON - 9 years later and I can still remember what a fantastic day it was.

Looking forward to reading everyones news soon.

Love & best wishes for a very happy 2006!

Love
Andrea
xx


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## molly2003

hi jan  w happy new year hun.. did you get drunk...


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## Mummytoone

HI there

Just wanted to say hi to everyone and wish you a very happy new year. 

We have had a hectic Christmas with a few family problems (wont go into) but we are fine.

Last night was pretty heavy as it was my SIL 30th birthday party and had a very large party at her house  ended up consoling her niece who's parents are going through divorce. She is a little love and only 8, it really makes me wonder if an older child would be good for us as I love her so much. Its was so hard to know what to say when she is so young but so sad and worried about her parents. She told me I was her favourite auntie and she loved me, I didn't have the heart to tell her that actually I wasn't her auntie but I did tell her that I loved her lots too. Bless her. I spent a lot of the evening upstairs with my niece and her cousin watching Herbie goes banananas! Sneaked them up a midnight feast of nibbles and pringles!

I struggled abit to tell you the truth last night, the tears flowed at midnight when I realised what this year could mean for us. One of our friends (they won the lottery 2 years ago, 2.1 million, lucky beggars, some people have all the luck  ) well she is 20 weeks pg and I did struggle to find the words to congratulate her and ask how the scans etc had gone. Anyway I did the right thing so feel OK today about it. People just don't have any idea how lucky they are do they.  Never mind not there fault I spose.

SIL house looked stunning last night they have a huge conservatory and it was TOTALLY all pink and silver. It looked fab.

Adam and I are off to treat ourselves to a new digital camera tomorrow so I may be boring you all with photos soon.I have to somehow show you our venture picture. It is so stunning, we love it especially as one our furry children looks so handsome in it ! 

Anyway, another year has begun which I feel quite relieved about. This year has been the worst so far in terms of infertility pain and feeling hopeless. I know this is unhealthy to keep tabs on but I would be 31 weeks pg tomorrow if our last IVF had worked.

I hope with all my hear that we all hold hands and travel this this very exciting but scary journey together.

All my love to all my very specail friends

Lou xxxx

P.S Ruby, Harry is sending you big snogs xxxx


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## Pooh bears mummy

Hi 

Firstly i would like to wish all my cyber buddies a very happy new year and look forward soooooo much to following your journeys to parenthood.

Lou, you post has brought a lump to my throat, I hope this is your year. I will be shouting yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee from the roof tops when you become a fantastic mummy.  Big Hugs. Well done for getting through the new year, especially with a PG friend.

Well for us this Christmas has been the best ever  . DS has enjoyed ever minute of it. His favorite toy is a new 3 wheel trike which we can push him around on. He sits there with his legs out in front and his bob the builder wellies on, with a huge grin on his face   . We took him over to the local pub on it on Xmas day? i was pushing him up and down the village with a glass of wine in hand!!! hope i wasn't spotted or I maybe done for drink driving . We bought him a kitchen which he also loves, so he maybe the next Jamie Oliver.

New years eve was also different but very special. DH and I stopped in just the 2 of us, with our precious boy asleep upstairs, we drank champagne and ate Ben and Jerry's ice cream, watched Big Ben chime then ran upstairs to give our special boy a big hug. He just looked at us both as if we had lost the plot and then went back to sleep, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw. even the fireworks did not rouse him.

Now looking forward to our day in court at the end of the month and then the christening to plan in May.

Only down side is i go back to work on Wednesday after 7 months eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.

I will be following all your journeys with anticipation.

love and hugs Mandy xx


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## naoise

Hi ladies, I have had a information pack sent out on Friday which has info on specific children, I have got quite excited about a little boy in it who is three. We hadn't really considered a child of that age, as we had thought we would like a sibling group but we are wiling to keep our options open. I am going to the meeting with an open mind I just hope I don't fall for every child that i see. 
Did every body have a good New Year's Eve? We went to a friend's house for a small party, there was loads of small children there and for once it didn't make me feel sad, I was excited thinking that hopefully very soon we will be bringing our children to parties and having fun watching them play and making new friends.

LOL Keli


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## Mummyof2

Happy New Year to you all  

Dh managed to crash his car on Christmas Eve but thankfully he was ok, although the car wasn't.  It brought it home to me that I could have been a widow this Christmas.  Very scary.  We have spent many days trying to get a decent cheapish replacement car.  Got one now. 

We went to Church for Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve as my parents babysat for us.  

Braved the sales yesterday and got some bargains.  

Stayed in New Year's Eve for the first time and it was nice to watch Big Ben on the TV and see all the spectacular fireworks in London.  Lots of fireworks went off round here as well but ds sleeps through them.  Upsets the pets though.

Dh goes back to work tomorrow which is a shame as I enjoy him being home.

I see someone else has joined this group, called Jenny so I will revert to Jennifer to save confusion.

All the best

Jennifer


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

Happy New Year to you all.  So excited to be watching you all through your journeys this year and getting to see more of you in the post match section of the list.

We had a quiet New Years Eve.  My Mum came for a curry after visiting my Dad in hospital and then after she went we watched the Hootenanny and the fireworks in London.

Dad's had a set back and is now back on nil by mouth.  He had to have a chest drain put in on Friday.  He will probably be in for another week, but as my Mum said its best that it happened in hospital and not when he got home.  

We brought a digital video camera in the sales and so I did a video message from the kids and took it in yesterday for him, as with all the drips and drains he's now got it's not appropriate to take the girls.  He was well chuffed.

I braved the scales yesterday (new years resolution to lose 1.5 stone) and I thought I'd put on loads but I've only gained 1lb over Xmas.

Look forward to seeing more good news from everyone

Love
Karen x


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## Boomerang girl

Hi Girls,
hope 2006 is off to a good start for you!

Karen I hope your dad starts feeling better soon- its awful watching someone you love very ill.  Have fun with the video camera though!

lulu it sounds like you were a real trooper on New Years Eve. Supporting a little one is one thing. Putting up with Herbie Is a whole different ballgame!!  Seriously though, next new year things will be so positive and special for you. There is a plan for all of us I am sure of it!

Mandy  I love your stories about the little fella. Can't wait to be the one with the glass of wine pushing the three wheeler around! keep on inspiring us!!  likewise Andrea- keep the stories coming it keeps us positive and on track!


for some odd reason I started feeling down in the dumps about a week ago and it is sticking. I hve (two weeks ago) gone back on the pill for the first time since ttc (eight years!). Not for contraception but because I have very bad and heavy periods.  Now I'm wondering if it was such a good idea as I'm suspecting the hormones could be affecting my moods?  I'll try some St Johns Wort I think but any advice welcome 

I'm trying to keep busy doing little things as one of the things I do when i am feeling low is worry a lot, so I figure the more things I get done the less I have to worry about and the less time I have to worry. Its def not depression, but there isno way I'm going to ignore any type of early warning signals and jeapordise my being a mummy. I don't think the overcast skies help either.

Hopefully soon we will hear something either way about this match, then we can either get really focussed on that or book our trip to berlin 

kylie
x


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## Donna Taylor

Hello everyone,

Going back to work tommorrow and I am really not looking forward to it! I've liked being at home! well not long there I hope as once we are matched I will give up work, well I hope to anyway!

As you all know we have our interview on the 20th and I was wondering what to expect from that? what will it be like? what will they ask?

Donna xx


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## superal

Hi everyone

Kylie- it could well be the pill that is making you feel a bit down at the moment.  I don't think it's depression at all, I suffer every month really bad and suffer terrible mood swings, DH is a saint!  I take evening primrose oil capsules and they tend to ease the PMT - I used to suffer really bad with that for at least a week and now I would say I have bad PMT for a day or so!  YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LOOK FORWARTD TO THIS YEAR - STAY POSITIVE 

Karen - sorry your Dad has had another set back, let's hope he is well again soon.  Have lots of fun with the digital video camera - they are a brilliant thing and they catch so many happy lovely memories.

Hope everyone else is okay and I will try to catch up with your news soon.

Love
Andrea
xx


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## everhopeful

Hi all

Just a quick one tonight. 

I'm already getting stressed out with potty training, and it's only day 1 !!
Our dd has lost the idea of weeing in a potty, and I've lost the will to live!
How can a bit of wee, stress me out so much? Surely it's the way I'm "managing" (or not!) the process, that's going wrong. I need to keep calm, but don't have my strategies. I've posted message on "Babydust" - "Toileting" Thread, if anyone would like to read and give me some tips.... pleeeeease!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Much appreciated

x

PS Happy New Year to everyone!


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## Mummytoone

Hello again,

Ever- sorry to hear about the potty training, tricky, tricky.... Hope DD works it out soon and is kind to her Mummy   The joys............ 

Laine- how are you? Did you have a nice new year?

LB- How is you and Miss Ruby Red dress. Harry asked me to post a piccie in the gallery of him for Ruby  

Karen- sorry to hear your dad has had a bit of a set back. Hope things improve soon for him. Lovely idea getting the girls to do messages for him. Did they enjoy Christmas?

Donna- good luck for the interview on the 20th  

Kylie- lets hope the new year brings you a phone call..... what a year this is going to be for you  

Andrea- how are you? Hope you and the family are well.

Mandy- the trike sounds fab, infact motherhood sounds fab too.Love reading yours and Evers posts. 

Jenifer- sorry to hear about the car but pleased to hear your hubbie is fine.

Everyone else hello.

Not much news here. Back to work tomorrow probably to a pile of insurance claims after all the turkey and and squeaky toys all the dogs have been swallowing. Lots of cases of Pancreatitis I am guessing  

We bought a new digy camera today. A Nikon D50 if anyone is in to photography. Have posted a few piccies in the gallery along with our new Venture pic which we are in love with.

Other than that a long doggy walk today and a nice dinner of healthy veggies after all the crap we have been eating. Time to get my Gillian Mckeith book out again I think. 

Love to everyone

Lou xxxx


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## alex28

Hi Guys and happy New Year to you all.

We went to a friend's house party on NY eve with lots of children around which was nice.  I got all emotional at midnight and sat on the stairs crying and then all my friends were telling me how this year will be so much better than last and any children we are have will be so lucky as i will be a great mum - which made me blub even more!!!

Donne - good luck for your interview -  With ours we sat and chatted about the obvious why we wanted to adopt about the tx we had received, about our families and support network, jobs etc.  Ours lasted just over 2 hours and to be honest with you it went great, we were offered a place on the prep course there and then!  The only bit of advice i can give you is to be honest and open, tell them everything, you will get upset (i cried and apologised for it and they said not to worry as they appreciated it was an emotional thing etc).  They will get to know you inside out so its best not be to be on best behaviour and pretend you are something you are not - just be yourself and you will be fine!

Hope everyone else is doing ok and has lots to look to.  Good luck esp to those due for matching, panel and prep courses.

I am off to the Head Office of LA tomorrow to personally drop in our formal application - dont trust the post!!! - am i sad being so excited about posting a letter??


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## kizzie

Hi everyone - Happy New Year!!  

Alex - definately good idea to deliver by hand.  I posted ours and its got 'lost' for more than two weeks!

Kylie - apparently today is the most miserable of the year - because of lack of sunlight etc.  Hope you start to feel a bit brighter over the next few days  . Give yourself some nice little treats.  

Karen - really sorry about your dad - hope he gets stronger soon.

Lou - Ive looked at your pics.  The venture one is fab - and the party looked great!

Good luck everyone else for 2006.      I love keeping up with all your stories.

Kizziex


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## LB

hi ladies

Hope you are all enjoying the New Year so far 

We had a quiet time apart from one of our poor friends - she has lost three people over the Xmas period and is finding life very stressful at the moment.  I just let her get it all out cos i really did not know what to say - what can you say? 

Lou and Harry - Ruby is fine and dandy - still playing with all her toys four out of six were squeaky  - so its drum kits for nana and uncle David next year  

did all the housework yesterday so dh thinks he came home to the wrong house - and a totally healthy meal too!

back to work tomorrow so normality resumes - braved the scales today and i have put two pounds on so that is not too bad!

looking forward to watching many journeys this year and hearing more adventures of mummies already matched with their babes.

good luck everyone
LB
X


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## Boomerang girl

rant coming, sorry! 

well, got word from the sw today. In Kent if your papers are sent to a childrens sw for consideration for matching they are allowed to keep them for max 20 days before sending them back. apparently our sw chased up the one who has our papers,only to find she has now gone off sick. So not only has the 20 days been exceeded (all the while we areout of the loop for other possible matches), but no decision hs been reached. I don't even know if this woman has even LOOKED at our papers.  Our sw has said this woman's superviser will now have to make a decision as they want our papers in circulation again asap, but even so, what if she decides yes? how long will this woman be off sick for?? If I was off sick and had important papers like that on my desk I would be expected to inform my line manager.  I know its not really a major hurdle, or good or bad news either way, it just peeves me that I have been thinking about this constantly and to them it means so little.    I know I am just being a big baby sulk, but the thing is if it had been a decision to proceed to interviews OR a no we wouldn't have minded because at least you are getting on with it or back in the loop. this is just more flipping limbo land!


errrr, very sorry, rant over- And i know other people have bigger things to worry about, I was just hoping for some news as tomorrow is back to work and it would have been nice to have some timescale on how long for (I'm a bit fed up with working ).  DH is cross with me for being cross. If he had his way it would be about september before we adopt (more time to save money)

boo hoo!!!!

lb- thats awful about your friend. as you said all you can do is be there.  My friend has a (nearly) one year old who due to hospital muck ups at birth nearly died and is now severely disabled and poorly. Eachtime she wouldtalk to me I used to beat myself up that I should be doing something but I came to realise I was doing something just by being there and listening- sometimes to the same stories over and over- she just needed a friend to hear it and give her a hug and understand.  keep on beingthat good friend.

lou- wow the venture pic is gorgeous!!

alex- I hope head office isn't too far away! we did just post ours each time as head office was a bit of a drive.


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## alex28

Kylie

Only 10 miles up the motorway thank god!!  However thelady i gave the forms too i asked how long things would take to be allocated a SW and she said a while due to the all the law changes etc.  I said would we be allocated one b4 end of Jan and she said possibly - meaning no in my mind.
I should not moan really as they have told us dates all along and things have happened a lot quicker than we thought.

We had in laws over last night and had a really good chat with them about it all and how they both seem to go very quiet when we talk about it and what did they think.  We asked them to be very honest with us and they both said that they went quiet as they did not know what to say but felt very sorry for us etc.  I said, in a nice way, that we did not need their pity but their support which they said we had and in fact were happy that we were proceeding down this route rather than the donor sperrm route which we were doing.  Funny how they never tell you at the time that they dont agree with what you are doing!!!  Anyway i got out the Form F that the SW had given us to looik thru and read the list out for type of children and it was very interesting to hear that all the boxes we had ticked for type of child were what they felt would be acceptable too and what we were not happy with they were not either, we did not tell them this until afterwards though.  Not that its their choice but we wanted to know how they would feel if we adopted a child born thru rape for example.  Anyway enough of me.

Kylie - sorry things are so frustrating for you at the moment.  Lets hope the line manager gets her Ar*e in gear!!

LB - sorry to hear about your friend - just be there and listen to her is all the advise i can give you.


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## Laine

Hi everyone,

Lulu - This year is going to be very special for you, there is no need to keep tabs on what might have been, just what is going to be   Will take a look in your gallery. 

Mandy - Glad you enjoyed your Christmas with your little boy.

Jennifer -  Sorry to hear about the car.  My dh did the same thing in November.  When is your next HS visit?  Any idea of your panel date yet?

Ever - I am sure 'practice makes perfect' with the potty training.  

Kylie - Don't blame you for your rant.  I would be pi$$ed off with that too.  How are you feeling in yourself today, better I hope?

LB - Sorry to hear about your friend.  I would listen, and be there for her when she needs you.

Karen - How's your dad?

Alex - Did you deliver your app form?

Hi to everyone else.

We had a quiet New Years Eve (until the fireworks that is).  Just chilled and enjoyed each others company.  Need to make a start on our Genogram, as it is due in at our meeting next Wednesday.

Laine


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi Kylie,

what a bummer....i know sws are overworked and underpaid, but still!!

Apparently when our SW went to get our foms sent off for the sibling group (i mentioned them before christmas) she found out they were already out for consideration for a child in our LA. Good to know everyons working on a fully informed basis isnt it!! So we now have to wait to hear about this child before they can send them out for the sibling group. It's not bad news or anything, as we'd be more than happy with the local child or the sibling group, but I have to say one thing the sibling group have in their corner (so to speak) is that we wouldn't have to go down this route again for siblings. Does anyone else feel having gone through this once that they'd do it again? 

I'm just a bit ratty as have cough and cold!

xxxruth


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## kizzie

Hi everyone - 

Kylie - that is soo frustrating !  

Im feeling a bit stressed about it all today    Had my medical this morning.  All physical ok but Im really worried that agency will decide not to go ahead with us.

As I mentioned before I had PostNatal Depression which I recovered from but then had a very very difficult time with withdrawal. (I took a particular AD called seroxat which theres been a lot of publicity about - because a lot of people have probs with it.)

Anyway because of that I now have Recurrent Depressive Disorder on my notes instead of PND (because it went on a long time while i was trying to come off).  It says that Im in remission and the Dr is supporting our application but Im really worried its going to stop us being able to go ahead.

Ive been very honest with the agency about it from the start so I suppose it depends what their medical officer thinks.

Its just very difficult to not get frustrated with it because I am absolutely certain that it was the drug that caused my later problems (and my PND counsellor believes the same) but the docs arent keen to blame the drug. (For obvious reason.)

Sorry - this is such a long rant.  And Im sure very boring for everyone else.  

Anyway - hope you are all having a good day  

Kizziex


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## magenta

Happy New Year everyone!

Kizzy  - have a big hug (((kizzie))). Just know that you are not alone.  many of us who are now looking to adopt have gone through depression (the pain and heartbreak of infertility for many). i have ongoing health issues too and am dreading the report back from the medical officer.  my GP is very suportive and has even sent in a cover letter explaining the bits which might look bad - still worried though.  so...you are not alone.

Ruth - keeping fingers crossed that the right child(ren) will be match to you soon.  I must admit to being more and more tempted by a sibling group for the same reason - and i am only halfway through homestudy.  I swear if I have to write anymore bloomin' 'personality' paragraphs for my individual profile I will swear!!

Kylie - oh poo bum.  hopefully they will get it sorted fairly soon and another sw will check over the form and either return it or put it forward for matching (or whatever they do with them).


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## Boomerang girl

hello,
well no word today, which means another day wasted if this match isn't the one  

I checked my emails about five times today, my texts every hour and then when I got home the ansaphone had no message.  

My SW only works monday tuesday wednesday. so thats it until next week. I feel so down in the dumps. First day back at work today, and because of things in my past early/mid january is a horrible time for me.

every other year we have booked a trip at half term in feb so we both have something positive to look forward to and get me through january. I was so hoping that yesterday I would have either had good news about this match, and some childrens papers on the way to us to read, or we would hear that this wasn't the right match, and I could have booked a trip for half term. It would have made going back to work so much easier. But now we are in limbo and all I have to think about is things that get me down.


On top of that the Christmas break was so long that I really got into being a stay at home wife- I started to enjoy my routine of cooking, cleaning, taking the dog to the woods for a good long run every day, shopping, actually SEEING my friends during term time.

I know it will happen. I know we will be matched before too long, I just hate january and wish I could have something tangible to look forward to.

Of course DH thinks I am just being a misery guts about not hearing about the match yet, but it is more than that.

so I just have to plod along and try to get stuck into work, but it is easier said than done when I just wish I wans't there.


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## Mummytoone

awww Kylie, big hugs, you little bubs Im sure is just round the corner   Im sure it is really frustrating for you.

It could be worse, you could be me! lol     

Big huggies

Lou xxx


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## alex28

Kylie - huge   for you!  Hope next week brings some brighter news for you., xx


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## Boomerang girl

sorry girls, I'm being a big baby I know. This isn't even a trial really, just hate january and wish I had something positive to look forward too!


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## Mummytoone

OMG girls just had a really yuk experience, just tucked into watercress for dinner. From Sainsburys, that ready washed and ready to eat sort of stuff. Nasty hard thing in my mouth and spat out a cockroach thing!!!  
Phoned Sainsburys and am being sent a gift voucher. Hope it didnt lay any eggs in my teeth   

Spose at least I am an animal lover  

L xxxx


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## alex28

- what a lovely surprise!!!!


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## Mummytoone

arrr cant think about it. Sainsburys seemed to know what it was, as it is bagged in the USA,they have told me it is harmless.

Urgggg


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## Pilchardcat

Yucky ! Lou, thats horrible, bet your not hungry now   making me look twice at the mushrooms in my spog bol!


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## superal

Lou

That is just totally yuck, I mean eating watercress is bad enough but with the added little extra makes me want to chuck up!!!!

Hope you are feeling a bit better about it all, just think of the sainsburys voucher and what nice things you could buy, that should take your mind of whatever it was.


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## Laine

Hi everyone,

Lulu - Arghhhh...nasty!

Kylie - (((((((((February will soon be here)))))))  

Magenta & Kizzie - Try not to worry too much about the medicals.  

Ruth - Hope you feel better soon.

Hello *waves* to everyone else.

Laine


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

Lou - yuk.  I used to work for Sainsbury's.  We had a scorpion in the bananas once and had to put it in the freezer (it doesn't kill them just sort of suspends them!) and then send it away for analysis.  Love the pics BTW.

Kylie - so sorry to hear you are feeling so down,  Hope you get some news soon.

Ruth - hope you get to hear something soon.  The waiting is the most frustrating part.

Kizzie and Magenta - I think there is an acceptance in today's society that most people have been touched in some way by stress/depression/anxiety.  It is about your ability to parent and offer a long term secure placement to a child.  Hope you both get the go ahead.

Just getting inspired for my goal of losing 1.5 stone this year and I'm watching the biggest loser US on living tv.  Officially start on Monday as the chocolate will all be gone by then.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Love
Karen x


----------



## molly2003

well hi girls was really fed up this morning    so just got up and had a cup of tea and thinking about to take down the tree. and the its was about 11.30 am went to get the post thinking well Xmas has gone now the bills , seen the brown mail letter envelope thinking this is more rubbish . well a letter from the adoption. they have 2 possible baby's for us  YES 2 ONLY want 1 .     i phoned the s-worker and is coming to see us next week we can pick going to hard ... but easy is you know what i mean.
geeeee can not believe it. so soon after a dull Xmas. I'm so really trying to not get excited thinking the plug can be pulled at any time. then  here and crying trying to take down the tree.had a coffee and had a really good spring clean.. ... so were just going to have to wait thats the hardiest thing . love molly..xxx hope you are all well girls  xxx


----------



## Mummytoone

OMG Molly that is dead exciting,wow!!!!!

Cant wait to read your next post

Love Lou xxx


----------



## MummytoLottieandLily

Hello Ladies

Hope you are all well and I wish you all a very Happy New Year and may all of your dreams come true.

We adopted two little girls called Charlotte (2yrs4months) and LIly (12 months) in May 05.  They are both adoreable, happy, bright, kind-hearted little girls and we feel truly blessed.

Molly, wow fab news - sending you lots of positive vibes........

Lulu, yukky..........poor you.  

Karen, hello again and hope you are all well.

Charlotte's ballet class starts again today so she is very excited this morning and gets to see her little friend too - so cute.  Lily is dancing to the Wiggles at the moment  

Love

Lilianna x x x


----------



## kizzie

Molly - thats great news - really exciting  

Kylie - hope you're feeling a bit better today and that you get some news really soon!!

We got a letter from agency today just confirming that they've got our full application form and that our references have started to arrive.  Said they'll be ringing  early in Jan.  Ive decided to write the dr a friendly little note ahead of DH's medical next week just mentioning my concerns so she can have a chat through them with him when hes there (shes sending both our forms off together so mine wont have gone yet.)

Hope thats ok ? 

Talked to DH about it all last night and he said not to worry too much.  He said its not as if its going to come as a surprise to the agency - I told them all about it right from the start and they still decided to go ahead with us sooooooo........

Anyway hope you all have a good day.

Kizziex


----------



## MummytoLottieandLily

HI Kizzie

Thats great news about geting the adoption/medicals moving.  Great idea about writing to your own GP first.  WOW you have twin boys (through ivf).  I have a friend who adopted twin boys and is now thinking of adopting another littles.  

byee

Lilianna x x


----------



## MummytoLottieandLily

Hi Karen

Can I be added to your list at the start of the thread?  

We started the adoption process May 2004 - prep course in Sep 2004 - homestudy started November 2004.  

Panel March 2005 - we were put forward for the girls the day after panel and were chosen as their Mummy and Daddy a couple of days after this - The most amazing day of my life the day our dreams came true..    

Charlotte (2yrs4months) & Lily (12months) came 'home' 4th May 2005

Adoption Order 9th November 2005 

I love being a Mummy 

love

Lilianna x x


----------



## Mummytoone

Hi Liliana

aww your little one sound so adorable. Such a happy ending to your journey, bet you still cant believe it!  

Thanks for the email, will reply properly later as on lunch break

Byeeeee 

L xxxx


----------



## LB

Hi Folks

Molly - wow great news for the start of the Year XX - bet your house enjoyed the spring clean - bet you were floating on air!

Lilianna - welcome to the thread - sounds like you had a textbook adoption process - lucky lady - and two gorgeous little girls you must be delighted - they sound lovely 

hi Lulu have you eaten any good bugs recently   - luv'd your new piccies by the way 

all quiet here SW is still out sick as far as i know - but hope to hear something in the next week or two
 with any luck

in the meantime this is me 
   

and dh

 







big hello to everyone

LB
X


----------



## molly2003

hi girls your are all realy nice, thanks for the lovley messages.. it makes a day happy to know im not on a one way boat to china        on my own .. thanks truley mean it.. your all lovley... molly xxx


----------



## MummytoLottieandLily

Hello

Just popping on quicklyotherwise I will burn the quiche  

Charlotte loved ballet this afternoon and at the end of the month she will be in a show - I am sure the whole family will want tickets - she will probably only be on stage for 10 mins  She says she wants to be like Angelina Ballerina   

LB hope your SW gets better soon I know how frustrating waiting can be.......

Lulu, I am sure she has had worst things in her mouth  

Byee

Lilianna x x x


----------



## Laine

Molly - Great news!  Can't wait to hear what happens next...

Laine


----------



## Mummytoone

Liliana you do make me laugh!!! Me?     Charlotte sounds gorgous at ballet. Hope the quiche was yummy  

Hello to everyone else. Anyone just watch the vet programme, cool or what  

Off to bed now

Love Lou xxxxx


----------



## KarenM

Molly

Great news can't wait to hear what happens when the SW visits next week.

Karen x


----------



## *Jenny*

Hello everyone, i am so excited (again) we have an invitation for the information evening. It is for the 16th Jan. I did not expect it to be so quick but really really glad it is. It is the bit of good news i needed as i have had a horrible week but at least it has set me up to have a good weekend. I have not told DH yet as he is at college today. I just hope he is just as excited as me. I have read lots of books the last week so when the whole process gets going i know what is going to happen and what to expect. Well i am sorry no personals but there are so many to reply to i would be here forever  . Well i hope everyone is OK. Jenny


----------



## momo

Hi everyone! haven't posted for a while again as had a v.busy christmas & new year, spent a few days of it in Prague which was lovely! ( and very snowy which i loved!!).

Jenny- Great news!- it will all happen so fast for you now!

Lulu- loved your pics- your cat looks adorable. we've got a six month old ragdoll kitten called Jasper who's growing at a rapid rate and daft as anything! and a rather overweight moggie called poppet who just tolerates Jasper!.

We are still wating to find out if we are going to panel on 23rd Jan. we jave completed our homestudy but our SW has resigned at end of December (not because of us!) but is seeing us again next thursday for one last time with our new S/W who we have met at training last March. She seems keen to get us through panel asap and is going to start looking for any potential matches coming up in the system so looks more hopeful. ( and she likes cats and our last S/W didn't like animals)
So i think we'll be having a full clean up this weekend.(joy!!)

Wishing you all a very happy 2006 and all you ever wished for to come true!

Momo.


----------



## MummytoLottieandLily

Helloooooo only mmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

How is everyone today?  

Momo and Jenny fingers crossed for you both - each day you are one step closer to your dreams..

Lulu, how are you today ?  

Has anyone heard of the Wiggles?  Lily is dancing to them now and really loves them - she says the one in the red junper looks like Daddy (which Daddy isnt very happy about).  A moment ago we were having a Mummy Cuddle on the sofa and she was chuckling and giggerlign away and said 'love you mummy' and my heart just melted. 

Its Friday yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

love

Lilianna x x


----------



## momo

Lilliana- awwww! thats just so sweet!!  That brought a tear to my eye! You are so blessed with your two little girls- they sound adorable!


----------



## Mummytoone

Hey Liliana

i thought of you today as I saw a DVD of the Wiggles in Sainsburys. My oh my it does look fun. Do you have to wiggle??  

Love Lou xxxx

P.S LMAO of at the one in the red jumper, bet he is a right cheesy geek isnt he! Can just imagine. Im sure DH looks nothing like him   Aww your post was so lovely. Your girls sound totally gorgous


----------



## KarenM

Lilliana

Toot toot chugga chugga big red car!!!  We don't watch it too often with being back at work full time but the girls like it (much to Rich's disgust) and also Barney too (again to Rich's disgust!)

Karen x


----------



## Pilchardcat

....we travelled wide and we travelled far...we're gonna ride the whole day long !


----------



## kizzie

Oooooooooooh   

Just checked messages on answer machine and theres one from a social worker who's been allocated to us 

Im annoyed with myself now though because she left the message at midday and I DID pop home at about 3 but I didnt check the messages so I cant ring now till monday    Can't believe I didnt check them.

I just logged on because in the message SW said she was also going to email us - but there's no email - maybe she doesnt have right address

Anyway - nothing I can do now till monday.  She has left her mobile - but think I'd probably better avoid ringing her over weekend so she doesnt think I'm a mad stalker   

I've started to the boys a bit about adoption to get them used to the idea / get their views.  I'm not convinced at the moment that they don't think its  abit like getting a new goldfish   

Hope you all have a lovely weekend.
Kizziex


----------



## fiona1

Hi All,

I follow this thread daily, but am not posting on an adoption issue.

I think at least one of you on here have experiance with social work. There is a thread on here in Bun in the oven, 19 pregnant and alone. The lady wants advice and i thought maybe someone on here with knowledge may be able to offer her some advice.

Thanks

Fiona


----------



## Mummytoone

Just a quick hello as feeling a bit rough. Have horrible chesty thing going around.

Adam at footie and I am just pottering around...... 

No news here off to SIL again tonight as BIL birthday. Will have to put my happy healthy face on soon 

Love to everyone

Lou xxxx


----------



## superal

Hi everyone hope you are all okay.

Nice to read that the adoption route is moving along smoothly for some one of you.

Molly - please clear some of your messages out of your in box as it is full!!  I have spent the last 15 minutes typing you a personal message, yes I know another long one but I was answering all your questions only for it not to go as your in box is full!  (you popular girl!!) 

I hope the rest of you get to hear some good news soon, a new year a new start, lets all think positive 

Love
Andrea


----------



## alex28

kizzie said:


> Oooooooooooh
> 
> . I'm not convinced at the moment that they don't think its abit like getting a new goldfish
> 
> Kizziex


no flushing them down the loo mind!!!! Great news about the SW - hope you get some good news on monday!

Amanda - your little girl looks adorable!!!

Lou - hope the party goes ok - we too have a birthday party tonight.

Hope everyone else is ok. xx


----------



## *Jenny*

hello everyone,

just a quick question, i am worry myself sick about not being suitable for adoption. The thing is too be honest with you all both my DH and i are overweight. I would say that we are very big people and i am scared stiff that they will not allow us to adopt. I have got an underactive thyroid which they are still messing around with dosage and my DH has always been very big. We are trying to lose the weight but not been very successful at present. I am so worried this is all we want, i just want a child and i really want to love and care for someone who really needs all the love and support i can give them Well i have probably gone on too much.

A very worried Jenny


----------



## Boomerang girl

Hi jenny,
try not to worry too much.
It is about you both being fit and healthy enough to parent children through their entire childhood. I think some girls have had weight raised as an issue, but seem to remember that if you are seen to be taking steps in the right direction then that helps satisfy panel. One good way of getting an idea of where you are, and where you might need to be headed, is to use the body mass index calculator on this site.
I can see you have a weight loss ticker- good for you!! you go girl! both you and dh have had a rough ride recently, but if you see this now as time to prepare your body for parenthood (in the same way others do when they get their BFP) maybe some gradual, SENSIBLE loss over the next year would really help to put your mind (and panels mind) at ease. Now is a great time to start, as your GP can record your efforts so that when you have your medical there will be evidence you are addressing any areas of concern.

I hope thats of some help? as I said I am by no means an expert I just wanted to post because you sem so down and worried!

kylie
xx


----------



## KarenM

Jenny

Alot of us on here when we have had our medicals done were considered "clinically" overweight.  What they want to see is that you are committed to leading a healthy lifestyle and that you are healthy enough to offer a long and stable relationship for a child.

My husband was asked about his BMI at panel by the doctor but since we had the medical done he had lost 1 stone in weight.  I had also lost 2.5 stone in the year before we went to panel so we had demonstrated that we took our health seriously.  

BMI is always a difficult thing to base weight on as it does not take into account bone structure.  My husband is 6ft 5 and built like the proverbial and so his BMI is always high but to look at him you would not say he is overweight.

I am sure if you continue to show the commitment to it that you are already, you should hopefully not have a problem.  Good luck

Karen x


----------



## Mummyof2

Jenny - I went to my GP and he prescribed reductil tablets to help me lose weight. My BMI is 37.34 now (for your BMI see http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/healthy_living/your_weight/bmiimperial_index.shtml) as I have lost 10lbs in 11 weeks but I am still 5 and a half stone overweight. My weight was brought up by my social worker as it had been brought up by her medical advisor. I was told that if I could demonstrate that I was doing something about it, then that would go in my favour hopefully, but no guarantees as it depended on the panel on the day. I got my old slimming world book out the other day and realised that both dh and I have lost 2 stone since 2003 so I will get that copied to take to panel so that they can see that we have been steadily losing weight for some time now. Why don't you go to see your docs and explain the situation and get some reductil or similar to help you lose weight - or join slimming world or weight watchers. You can do both online if you don't fancy going to a class.

Karen - hope your dad is recovering well.

Laine - got our next visit with sw on Wednesday and then every wednesday for the rest of this month and then our home study will be over. Panel date of Feb or March hopefully. Sw will know more at end of our home study. She said she likes a month after home study completion to get everything in order to present to panel so I am thinking March will be more like it to go to panel.

All the best

Jennifer


----------



## Mummytoone

Just to say hello to everyone 

Feeling majorly poop with chest thing and stinking cold. Stayed in bed till 1.30pm (very unlike me) and watched Grease. Lolled around on sofa all afternnon and watched Closer, arr..... now I am feeling better (Jude Law) had dinner which couldnt taste.

Off to bed........ hello to everyone 

Lou xxxxxx


----------



## Boomerang girl

BTW lulu- hope you are feeling better and a little less stuffy soon. hate being bunged up! 

karen,i am praying for your daddy. x


----------



## molly2003

hi im here i did empty my inbox . sorry but thanks for lettin me know sorry. molly. xxx  me


----------



## Nats

Hi all

Just want to wish you all a belated Happy New Year..

Life never seems to slow down at the moment, but sometimes that is a good thing!...

We will be due our 12 month review in March. I cant believe it will have been a year since we went to panel..time does fly!
On a happier note, we are meeting up with our friends who we met on the course, they had a 14 month old girl move in with them in November and they are loving every minute of it!...and she sounds and looks adorable so cant wait for that!...

Hope everyone is well...

Natsxxx


----------



## kizzie

Hi everyone - just a quickie.  After waiting all weekend called the SW who has been assigned to us but she is off sick  

Think I'm going to have to get used to waiting

Have a good week!

Kizziex


----------



## alex28

Kizzie- hope your SW is back and better soon!!

Nats - hope seeing your friends lilttle girl will help you realise that yours is just around the corner.  Good luck for the review.

Lulu- hope you are feeling better than you did the other day.

Hope everyone else is ok too??

Well good news from us in that we have been having a right old ding dong with a particular foreign embassu to get my DH CRB done for abroad.  I sent the letter off recorded delivery in early december and to cut a long story short they had not signed for it and it was sitting in the Notting Hill sorting office waiting to be returned me this was before xmas!  I called the first week in jan and they said they would chase it for me and then 2 days later lo and behold they told me it had been signed for but they made an error and pressed the wrong button!!! Doh!!

I called the Embassy today to ask if they received it _not that i dont trust the postal system of course!! - anyway she said no!    

1/2 hour later she called back and said Is your husband "blah blah?", yes i replied to which she said oh yes i did sign for it on the 12th Dece and its already been sent to the Greek Embassy on 14th Dec.  This is the woman who i have been phoning every other day to see if she has received the letter since the 9th Dec!!!!  What a dosy mare!!!!!

Also good news is that is only takes 2 months and not 3 so it should be back by Mid Feb by which time we hopefully we have been allocated a SW.  

Is nothing straightforward!!!!  It drives you insane.  I hate having to rely upon other people to get important things done as its so frutrating when you are in a hurry for things and they are not!!

Anyway rant over - have a nice night!!!


----------



## Mummyof2

Alex - how annoying for you to be messed around like this    Sounds like it is getting sorted out now though.  Why is your dh being crb through the Greek embassy?  Is he Greek or are you adopting from Greece?  Sorry if I am being too nosy  

We have got our sw coming tomorrow for our weekly home study visit so I am quickly finishing off my home work.

All the best

Jennifer


----------



## momo

Alex- that sounds so frustrating for you. Hope it gets sorted soon.

Lulu- hope you are feeling much better.

Nats- hope you don't have to wait too much longer for a match. 

My little baby ( Jasper the ragdoll kitten) has gone to the vets today to be neutered and i feel sooooo guilty about it and really worried about him!- heavens knows what i'll be like when i have a child!!! I'm sure he'll hate us after this!!!

On the adoption front, our SW who has resigned is coming to visit us on thursday with his replacement so we have been having a mad clean up!- We will hopefully find out if we are going to panel on the 21st Jan- i really hope so as we should have gone in November- but due to our SW having time off anfd the format of the report changing and various panel problems we have been delayed. If we don't make this months, i don't think we will be here for febs as we are off to Thailand for 2 weeks in early feb, so we may have to go to panel in March- Grrrrrr!!!!!!!! (sorry, i  just hoped we would be going to panel before christmas but when that didn't happen, we were told it would be January, but when i last spoke to SW he wasn't too sure?) anyway- what will be will be i suppose.

Hello to everyone and hope all is well!

Momo.


----------



## superal

HI everyone

hope you are all well, I've just come back from the gym after doing 1 hour 45 mins work - god I feel knackered now!! 

Just a few personal messages:-

Nats - I really hope that when you have your review, something positive will come out of the meeting, you never know, fingers crossed that things will move along quicker for you this year!

Molly - good luck tomorrow when your SW calls, things will be fine, relax, your going to be a Mummy!

Momo - I think you'll little fur baby will forgive you in time, your not silly for worrying, I've got 2 dogs and when they went to be done I hated it as well!


----------



## kizzie

You are all so good and patient   

Its never been my strong point - must get some practice!!!

Anyway - SW is still off sick so I rang the agency as we'd been told that we'd probably be on a prep course in Jan but hadn't heard anything and needed to know as I have to get someone to look after the boys for 3 days (Its on 2 weekends).

The lady at the agency is soooo nice - always really helpful.  And our names ARE down for course later in Jan - should get letter later this week to confirm all details.

So - now Ive got the dates and can plan everything for it.   

Kizziexx


----------



## superal

Hi Kizzie

Patience is something that you do require whilst going through the adoption process.

One minute you feel as though things are steam rolling ahead and then things will take a dip and go quiet and then your back on the rollercoaster rider again.

Excellent news that you've got your dates for your prep course, good luck organising child minding, it will be worth it.  Once you've been on your course you feel as though you are getting somewhere.

Good luck
Andrea


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

yeah such a lot of waiting! I'm really not good at it either, hence the frequent whinging messages on here! 

We'll hopefully hear next week about the local baby or the siblings outside our LA, although I'm trying not to get too carried away with either as knowing our luck neither will work out. 

Maybe those ladies who have been matched and placed with kids can help here: in the days/weeks coming up to your children coming home, did you ever think it would never really happen?

xxruth.


----------



## superal

Hi Ruth

First of all try to relax, that's what I seam to be telling everyone at the moment.

Your situation is a bit different than others as you know about two possible matches that you'd like to go ahead with and are just waiting to find out.

It is a difficult game waiting and I can only sympathise, I have been there, done that and got the t-shirt, all I can say is that the waiting seems so well worth it once you have your perfect family.

Reference your question about thinking if it would never really happen, it's hard to say.

I knew once we started introductions to our DS that this was for real and it was finally happening, I was going to be a Mummy, something I'd waited a long time to be called and never thought for one moment that this may not work out.  DH did have doubts but never said and he was so relieved after the 12 days of introductions that our son moved in quicker than SS had imagined.

With our DD I doubted all the time if this was real, was I really going to get a 9 month old baby girl who would stay with us for ever.

After doing concurrent planing and the baby girl we were looking after was returned to her BP I think I was only human to think that this may happen again, although I knew in my hearts of heart that this was a totally different experience, we had gone down the traditional route of adoption and there was NO chance that our DD would be returned to her BP.

The time in between finding out and meeting you family is a difficult one, you do begin to doubt yourself, will I be a good Mum, will I form an attachment to my family, will they like me, all those kind of questions go through your mind but I can honestly say that once you meet your new family and you start introductions all those thoughts go out of the window.

I hope everything works out for you and will look forward to reading your news soon.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

thanks andrea what you say makes a lot of sense. I think while we have some potential options at the moment, I know if the local baby doens't work out then we're going to have to fight with our LA to go outside for the sibling.....but forewarned is forearmed as they say!

xxruth


----------



## saphy75

Hi everyone, sorry it a me post   but we were approved to adopt 2 children ages 0-5 this morning       we are both so excited and have spent hours on the phone ringing practically everyone we know  

now we are praying that a match is found quickly before we go completely   

pam xx


----------



## Mummytoone

Congratulations Pam, what fabulous news!!!!  

Hope the wait proves to be not too long for you

Love Lou xx xx​


----------



## saphy75

Thanks Lou

I just feel like shouting it from the roof tops   after 7 years of desperation finally i know i am going to be a mummy one day    

if i'm this excited now what will i be like when my sw finds a match   

pam xx


----------



## kizzie

*Thats Brilliant news CONGRATULATIONS*  

How long has it taken you to get to this stage from starting adoption journey.

Hope you get a match really quickly!!

Kizziex


----------



## kizzie

Oops forgot quick question.

Anyone who's already done prep course -  Was it full days?  Ours is over three days but im just trying to sort out the boys being looked after and just wondering if they are likely to be long days or shorter sessions.

Im assuming quite long days because its over quite a short period of time 

Kizziex


----------



## superal

CONGRATULATIONS PAM & DH!

It's really nice to hear some good news, lets hope you get a quick match.

Good on you for telling everyone and shouting it form the roof tops, like you said you've waited along time to be a Mummy and you are way on your way now, have a few glasses of bubbly to celebrate. 

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hey Saphy....Congratulations!!!

it's such a great feeling isn't it. I share an office with a very nice chappie (who has two kids) and his words of congratulations were: well done, now if I have any problems with my kids I can come to you as you are the one who has an official piece of paper saying we're good enough to be parents!

have a great evening.....
XXRuth.


----------



## Arniegirl

Brilliant news! Keep us posted!
Arniegirlx[


----------



## momo

Congratulations Pam !!! Thats fantastic news!!!!

Hope you don't have to wait too long for a match!!

have a great evening and crack open the champagne!!!

Momo.


----------



## alex28

CONGRATULATIONS TO PAM AND DH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU MUST BE OVER THE MOON!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jennifer - our LA state that if you lived or worked abroad for more than 3 months you must be CRB checked by that country as well as the UK, DH back-packed around Greece and they still wanted it done.  I lived in Oz for 18 months and had mine done which has come back fine.


----------



## Laine

Pam,

Congrats! Can feel the excitement in your post!

Laine x


----------



## saphy75

Thanks, girls

it is starting to sink in now   and i'm feeling very emotional    think i might have a couple of glasses of wine but i'll probably blub if i do   (happy tears for a change) 

pam xx


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Kizzie - Our Prep Course was 3 days, 9.30 until about 3pm.  

Molly - Good luck for the call tomorrow.

Nats - Hope the review goes well for you.

Jennifer - Can't believe your HS is nearly over.

Andrea - Love reading your posts, good advice.

Lulu - Sorry you have been poorly, how are you feeling now?

Alex - Talk about frustrating.  Hope you get things sorted soon.

Momo - Hope Jasper is ok?

Hi to everyone else.  

We have an interview with the social workers tomorrow.  We should be receiving feedback about our Prep Course and our formal application to adopt.  

Laine


----------



## saphy75

GOOD LUCK TOMORROW LAINE   

pam xx


----------



## alex28

Good luck for tomorrow Laine - hope it all goes ok.  We got our reports in the post and they were fine thank god!!  Still waiting for that elusive phone call from SW!! Hey ho!


----------



## Mummytoone

Good Luck for tomorrow Laine, have IM'd you back  

Our LA are being very slow so far. Still no news of Prep course although I know the next one is Feb so maybe then. God I hope so!

Sorry no more news here, been really, really poorly last few days and not been to work. But slightly better today thankfully 

Love to everone

Lou xxx


----------



## naoise

Hi ladies, I just popped on and am over the moon with all the good news,

Pam and dh I am soo pleased to hear your good news, I hope your match is found before you know it.
Lulu I am sorry to hear that you are feeling bad I hope you are better soon.
Laine all the best for tomorrow.
We are also still waiting for that elusive phone call from our sw about starting out home study every time I hear the phone ring my heat skips a beat. Oh well! We are off to our meeting about the little boy we are interested in, but we are not holding out much hope he sounds so lovely I'm sure that loads of people will be there to hear about him to. 

LOL Keli


----------



## magenta

Pam - congratulations!  

lainie - wishing you all te best for tomorrow

kelihaslam - hope the meeting is everything you need/want/wish for.

No real news - another homestudy meeting and we put the dates for the next batch of meetings in the diary.  We get our panel date confirmed tomorrow but it looks like it will definately be 6th April - which is really exciting and doesn't feel that far away now.
Our SW has also said that we can start getting BMP and CWW if we want so that we can start looking at profiles and finding our child.  not sure how i feel about it but if i fill in the form today it will be Feb before any issues arrive and that  means that we only get 2 issues before we go to panel and really have to start being proactive.

magenta x


----------



## Boomerang girl

hello,
ruth Ihad been wondering the same thing- will it ever happen, will I ever actually get to be a Mum? not from a being impatient point of view, (even though I am being impatient ) but more from a reality check point of view. it just seems a bit surreal now.

Superal thanks- as always you reassure us!

No news here yet- who knows how long it will be now. We got word from our SW yesterday that the child (well at least we now know its one not too!) we are being considered as a match for now has been assigned a new sw, so she will need to decide, not the superviser, if we are a suitable match or not. I'm presuming she will have to do more than just read our papers if she has just taken on this child she will need to get to know them too. so it could be a while- but better bl***y not be more than another 20 days!!!!!

our sw advised us to book our time away in half term and if need be they will work around it. I'm not sure though- and DH seems a bit funny when I asked him if we were still going away last night. Its just thatif we go it will be about 450 including spending money, and that 450 will help a lot once we adopt, but then if things go on for ages a break will do us good and we will have more time to save!

maybe we will take a couple of nights a bit closer to home 

also it feels a bit wierd even though I wish we knew more about this possible match as its so long to be out of the system if its not a match we feel would be right, now that I know it is one not two I can't help but wonder how old.. as we have (hopefully) made it clear that we are very happy with an older sibling (up to fifth birthday) we really want the experience of parenting a toddler as well.  So I just wonderif the matching officer knows that.  Then I wonder if we would want to go through all this again as we know we want two children, and then in another thought its tempting to start withone child- time to really focus on them! I know I am getting ahead of myself its just all so much to think about and so much out of our hands.

On another moan I was off sick yesterday and today. I have had gastro combined with IBS, and to top it off (TMI SORRY!!) coming off the pill (which i only lasted 16 days on) has given me an horrific AF. I am never touching it again. so a belly full of pain of one type or another, TOTAL guilt at having two days off work (first sick leave in over a year), and the thought of going back tomorrow and being all behind in my paperwork. Oh the joys of teaching.

So sorry to read you have been off ill too Lou- I always picture myself being all cosy and tucked up and happy when off sick, but the reality is I just feel poorly and guilty. Ha! what good is that??!!

Right, someone please send me a BIG slap over the internet to cheer up and stop being such a miserable sod!  I am sure I will feel much better when I get stuck back into work 

kylie
xx


----------



## TraceyH

Hi All

Pam - Congratulations, it feels good doesn't it.  Hope you are not waiting too long for a match.  We were approved in November and I am checking the phone like mad but I can't help it.

Jenny - I think as long as you are seen to be doing something about your weight then everyone is happy.  I lost 3 stone before we got to panel and it was a big plus for us as we are both overweight.  I have got a long way to go yet, but am sticking to it.  So don't worry too much you are going in the right direction.

Kizzie - Our prep days were 4 days over 2 weeks (Thurs/Fri each week).  They were from 9-4.  I know some people had evening courses, so I think each LA is different but there is no harm in giving them a ring and explaining that you need to sort out some childcare.

Nats - Good luck with your review.  Hope you have a match this year.

Kylie - Sorry you are not feeling well.  You should treat yourselves to a break.  We spoke to our SW about going away and she said that they will work around us if a suitable match is found, but to let them know if we were not going to be available.  You both deserve a treat.

Good luck to everyone else, from the posts so far I think we are in for another busy year.

Tracey  x


----------



## Donna Taylor

_Congratulations Pam_

Good luck for tommorrow Laine  

Getting nervous about perlimenary meeting with SW next week  doubting if we are doing right thing? hope its just nerves

Donna xx


----------



## kizzie

Kylie & Lou - hope you are both feeling better soon.  Kylie - id def take the break if I were you.  Treat yourselves  

Laine - GOOD LUCK tomorrow.

Donna - I think it is VERY nerve racking.  You're not committing to anything by going to the meeting.  Just see how you feel after that. Hope it goes ok  

Thanks for all the info on the prep courses!  Just got some juggling to do now.  (Its at times like these when I really wish we had family living just round the corner!)

Kizziex


----------



## everhopeful

*CONGRATULATIONS PAM AND DH- BRILLIANT NEWS!!

Hope you're not waiting too long to hear about your children!

xx*

*Good Luck for tomorrow LAINE for your meeting x*


----------



## KarenM

Pam -  Congratulations.  Hope you don't have to wait long for a match 

Laine - Good luck for tomorrow

Kylie and Ruth - Hope you don't have to wait too much longer

Kizzie - the course I did was full days about 9.30 - 4.30

Alex - Hope the CRb check comes back soon.  How long was he back packing for?

Lou - Hope you are feeling better and hope you hear something soon

Andrea - Hope you and yours are well.

Ever - How's your family following their ill health?

Best go dh has started snoring on the sofa, (oh joy of joys - he better let me get to sleep first before he starts again!!)

Karen x


----------



## LizzyB

Laine ~ loads of luck for tomorrow hun 

Huge congratulations to Pam.......hope you get a match soon 

Take care all, Lizzy xxx


----------



## molly2003

hi girls only tomorow to see if im going to ba a mummy .. after the s-worker comes i will post on here  hopefully with good news... hope this is it. for us..
im worried and scared ... take care molly xxx


----------



## naoise

Hi Molly just read your post, I wish you both all the best and am waiting impatiently for your news, jsut think you are soon to be a family   

LOLN Keli


----------



## alex28

Molly - OMG!!!! Good luck - im sure things will work out the way you want.

Laine - how did it go??

Donna - nerves? - completely normal in my experience - you do really wonder at times if u r doing the right thing but the meetings and the prep course will really make u sure.  On our prep course they were surprised to see that we all completed the course as they said most of the times couples dont turn up after the first day!!!!

Karen - DH back-packed only for 3 months give or take a few weeks but they asked if was out the country for more than 3 months so we said yes.  Little did we know what hassle it would cause.  All sorted now though and his check should be back within the month, so thats all our CRB checks done from home and abroad which is good.

Jenny - good luck with the weight loss - im doing lighter life and starting on the 23rd of this month.  Its a very low cal diet closely monitored by the doctor and on average people lose 3 stone in 100 days.  Its a last ditch attempt to lose weight - i want to be a yummy mummy!!!!

Hope everyone else is doing ok and to that that have been matched - keep being patient, im sure you wont have too long to wait.

xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Alex - what a performance!!  I can see why you wished you had stayed quiet about it - grrr.

Pam - CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU BOTH. Well done.  It must be a lovely feeling.

Kizzie - our preparation course was 3 full days one week (9am-4pm) and another 3 full days two weeks later and one 3 hour evening session.  It varies from LA to LA.

Laine and Molly - good luck for today.

Ever - hope everyone has recovered from their ops/illnesses.

Got our sw coming round later today for another home study visit.  She rang me yesterday to ask who our 3rd referee is going to be - something I told her before Christmas.  I chose my mum and the sw has already sent off the forms to my mum who has completed and returned the forms.  Bet the sw felt a bit of a twit!  Still better to ask twice than not at all.  Overworked I suppose.

Bye for now

Jennifer


----------



## saphy75

GOOD LUCK TODAY MOLLY

i hope everything goes to plan 

pam xx


----------



## MummytoLottieandLily

Great News Pammy - You will be a Mummy one day........

love

Lilianna x


----------



## molly2003

WELL THE NEWS IS HERE LADIES AND GIRLS HI GIRLS I THINK IM A MUMMY ALL PINK PINK YEP A BABY LITTLE GIRL STILL GOT A LONG WAY TO GO BUT WERE GIVING THE NOD AND BOW ON THIS ONE                 
I CAN NOT BELIVE IT IM     ............ LOVE ME THE NEW MUMMY TO BE.. XXX


----------



## Mummytoone

That is just fantastic Molly, a hundred congratulations on your new daughter!!!!

 Fabulous!!! 

love Lou xx xx​


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hey Molly,

congratulations! you must be so excited! Do you know what happens next?

XXRuth

PS how old is the baby?


----------



## saphy75

WOOHOO WELL DONE MOLLY  ​
           

PAM XX


----------



## superal

Molly - just excellent news, it gives hope to those who are still waiting for a placement.

Looking forward to reading all your exciting news

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## kizzie

_*Molly Congratulations  *_

Ive only logged in to see if you had any news. You must be soooooo excited.

How old is she?
What happens next?

Kizziexx


----------



## lisaw36

So many many congratulations Molly to you and your dh.  So chuffed to read your news.    

Lots of good news at present. 

LisaW
xx


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Molly - Posted you on your thread!

Lizzy - Thanks for popping in.

Donna - You will be fine next week, I think we all suffer with nerves at the first meeting.

Jennifer - How was HS today?

Lulu - Why don't you call and ask about the Prep Course?

Kylie - Hope you feel better soon and hear some news.

Magenta - Good news on the panel date.

Hi to everyone else.

Our meeting went well.  We have to complete our formal application and dh has to have his medical.  Then we attend our assessment group course in February.  We will find out who our SW is then too.

Laine x


----------



## alex28

Molly - have replied on the other thread but great news once again!!

Laine - glad it all went well for you.  The form is not too daunting thank god - just trying to remember all the jobs is the hardest things and the dates!!!! Whats the assesment group course??  Our LA dont seem to have this.

Hope everyone else is ok. xx


----------



## Suzie

just wanted to say WOO HOO CONGRATULATIONS to PAM & MOLLY

Fantastic News for you both 

love
suzie xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Molly - that is fantastic news.  How exciting   CONGRATULATIONS.

Laine - glad to hear that all went well.  I was thinking about you.  As for us, thanks for asking - we have 2 more home study visits to go and are going to panel on 9th of March if all goes to plan.  That is the day of our son's 5th birthday coincidentally - weird or what!

All the best to everyone

Jennifer


----------



## LB

Pam

congratulations you must be so delighted

hope you get to meet your new family soon

LB
X


----------



## Ann

Happy Belated New Year   

There is so much news on here that it would be impossible for me to do a catch up!!! But CONGRATULATIONS to Molly - Girls are fantastic ( I am sure boys are too but I don't have experience there!!!!)  We cant believe that it was a year ago today that our 2 gorgeous girls moved home.  We have just put them to bed and we are going to have a chinese to celebrate tonight.  It has been the most incredible year and the most emotional too, I go in every night before I go to bed to give them both a cuddle and I still cant believe that they are ours.  When we were going thru the process everything seemed to be going so slowly but now I don't know where time has gone - oh maybe swimming, the park, tumble tots, toddlers, painting, playdough, dancing, lunch with friends, messy play, I can't wait to hear more stories of you being matched and then you too will wonder what you did with all of your time before kids  
I do read alot but I will try and keep up a bit better this year 

Lots of love Ann and the girks xxxx


----------



## KarenM

Jenny - Great news on the panel date.  Good omen being your sons birthday.

Ann - Lovely to see you posting.  People can't believe this was our second Xmas with the girls, so know how you feel about not knowing where the time has gone.

Not much to report here.  Just sent Rich off to Tesco as we were due to have our home delivery this evening, but he booked the wrong time slot so they've been and gone whilst we were out.  So sent him out for the essentials before they redeliver tomorrow.  Defeats the object really but its his pennance.

TTFN
Karen x


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Alex - The assessment group course is for three days and forms part of our HS.  We cover things that we can do as a group rather than idividually with our SW, for example,  infertility, parenting skills etc.  We will be taking notes which will be included on our Form F.  We also get to build up our support network, as most of the people from our Prep Course will be there too.  

Jennifer - Great date for panel! Thanks for thinking about me.

Ann - Lovely post.  Nice to hear from you.

Hope everyone else is ok?

Completed our formal application form this afternoon, so will be posting recorded delivery tomorrow  

Laine


----------



## alex28

Laine said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> Alex - The assessment group course is for three days and forms part of our HS. We cover things that we can do as a group rather than idividually with our SW, for example, infertility, parenting skills etc. We will be taking notes which will be included on our Form F. We also get to build up our support network, as most of the people from our Prep Course will be there too.
> 
> Completed our formal application form this afternoon, so will be posting recorded delivery tomorrow
> 
> Laine


Dont blame you for sending it RD Laine - i delivered my personally just to be sure. Re the assessment course - they have not mentioned this to us - is this something that differs from LA to LA i wonder??


----------



## *Jenny*

everyone,

well the computer went down for a couple of days and i feel i have missed out on so much.

*Molly*, Congratulations, u must b very excited

*Ann,* Congratulations on your year anniversary of having your girls. I bet the year has flown pass.

*Pam*, I think you deserve a Congratulations as well.

Sorry if i missed you out but i did not realise that there was so many people on this thread. It is overwhelming.

I am getting quite excited  about the information evening on Monday, i feel that is the real start of everything. I have kept to my diet but on Monday we will see.  It has not been to bad this time i think it is because i have got a reason to lose weight. I want a child so much that it is worth everything. 

Question? To have a sibling group do you have to have separate bedrooms. We have got a spare room which is plenty big enough for two beds, warbrobes etc.. Just wondering. I would love to have a sibling group.

Well to everyone, i wish you the best and good luck at want ever stage you are at.

Jenny


----------



## alex28

Jenny - as far as i know you dont but i assume it would depend on the childs ages.  We have 2 spare bedrooms and it would really depend on what age children we were to adopt whether we seperated them or not.  Sometimes the children are used to sharing and prefer to share for the time being.

Hope monday goes well for you - its a really informative time and as opposed to IVF etc you really feel like you are progressing.


----------



## saphy75

Jenny we only have 1 spare bedroom and have just been approved to adopt 2 children age 0-5, so no problems although we will have to have either 2 boys or 2 girls unless by some miracle dh gets the loft converted   

pam xx


----------



## superal

Hi everyone

I can't keep up with this thread sometimes, it seems to move along very quickly these days or is it just me getting older and slowing down..............don't answer that one!!

We are all fine, it's nearly 9 years since our DS moved in with us and I can honestly say I don't know where the time has gone.

He is no longer a little boy with a squeaky voice but a teenager with a squeaky voice but obviously for different reasons, hormones kicking in good style!!  I think he's preparing me for when DD turns into a teenager and then I'll know I've got my work cut out for me!

Have just been into school to help out, like I do every Friday and it was nice to see DD fitting in so well & towering over everyone in her class....where has my baby gone!

I've been to the gym twice this week and I still ache, I've got to go more and get in shape.

Hope everyone is OK and will catch up with all your news soon.

Andrea
xx


----------



## momo

Hello everyone,

Superal- thanks for your message- Jasper is fine thanks in fact it didn't seem to bother him at all- still as daft as ever!!

Laine- Glad it all went well for you.

Molly- Congratulations!!- how exciting for you!!

We had a visit last night from our SW who has retired and his replacement. We are no longer going to panel on 23rd Jan as although the report is completed it needs to be OK'd by the manager at the agency who is off on sick leave so we are now looking at end of feb or possibly even march which is very disappointing for usl .

Anyway- shouldn't moan!-  Hope you all have a lovely weekend!!!

Momo.


----------



## *Jenny*

*Alex28* and *Pam*.

*Momo*, sorry to hear that going to panel has been delay it must be horrible for you.  Hopefully, it will not be too long.

*Andrea*, it is nice to come on here and read about great success stories like yours. It gives me hope for our future and that is possible one day i may be saying the same thing. 

Jenny


----------



## Mummyof2

momo - feel free to moan.  I would be moaning about that delay as well.    How disappointing for you


----------



## superal

Momo - you must be very disappointed and the 23rd January is such a good date as well - it's my birthday!!

I know you are disappointed and I would feel exactly the same, at least you know you are going to panel though and once that is done and dusted your adventure really begins.

Keep your chin up!
Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi Momo,

that's a real bummer! Does anyone know of another profession where people take so much sick leave? Seems like everyone on here has been affected at one stage or another. Must be all the stress!

maybe ask your Sw if you can start looking at BMP, as they say on their cover that you can start enquiring about children if you're close to beign approved??

have  a nice weekend everyone,
XXRuth.


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Momo - I would be disappointed too.  More waiting, but hopefully you won't wait too long to be matched.

Alex - I mentioned to the sw's about the assessment group not being widespread. All they said was it's something they have recently started doing and found to be very useful (by them and the potential adopters).  

Jenny - I am sure you will enjoy Monday.  Let us know how it goes.

Formal application form has been posted (yippee).  Tried to arrange dh's medical but as the secreatry had 'gone home early', will have to wait until Monday.

Laine


----------



## momo

Thanks for all your kind messages.

I wouldn't be as bothered but initially we were supposed to be going to panel in november, then what with one thing & another (mostly the report being re-written into a new format which pushed our SW over the edge) it was moved to December then January and now who knows?!!!  

I knew the process would be a long one- we made our initial enquiries in Dec 04 and had our initial interview in March 05- but its just so disappointing when you get one setback after another as i'm sure a lot of you know!


----------



## KarenM

Hi Girls

Momo - sorry to hear about the delay.  You have every right to be miffed.

Andrea - Advance birthday wishes for the 23rd

Jenny - We planned for our children to share when we found we were getting two girls as we would then convert the other room to a playroom and still have a spare room for guests.  But they said as they had not lived together before moving in with us that they were not used to sharing.  They have their own rooms which is best as one prefers the door open and the other closed.

Laine - Good luck for dh's medical

Apologies if I am a bit lax in keeping up to date with you all at the moment but my Dad was blue lighted back to hospital on Thursday night so I am back to doing the hospital runs again.  Hopefully he should only need to stay for a week and it will all be resolved (at least that is what we are hoping for)  Anyway I'll do my best, but I'll be back!

Karen x


----------



## superal

Hi Karen

Thanks for the birthday wishes, that 39  sign is getting closer, at least I've got another year before I reach the big 40, DH reaches it this year!

Please don't apologise for not being up to date with everything I think you can be excused as your family comes first.  I hope your Dad makes a speedy recovery.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Mummytoone

hey Karen,

just wondering how your dad is? Hope all is as ok as it can be. Thinking of you all and sod that list! Concentrate on you and your family for now  

Love Lou xxx


----------



## saphy75

Karen just want to echo what the thers have said   I hope your dad has a speedy recovery  

pam xx


----------



## Mummytoone

Hello 

Just wanted to say hello to everyone, sorry no personals but still feeling pretty sorry for myself with this chest thing. Am breathing in vapours as we speak, but so so weezy and congested. I never suffer with my chest so its strange.

Had a horrid day today, spent this afternoon just sobbing uncontrollably into my pillow. Started off with a row with Adam over tiles for our new kitchen and downstairs loo. He said some nasty things with just spiralled into me crying hysterically  for a couple of hours. Mum and sis turned up as had phoned me and spent the afternoon with me. It was really horrible although I do wonder how much of it has been pent up for the last 6 months or so waiting to get out. I convince myself that life is fine, but really it just isnt, its bloody hard and I need something positive to get my teeth into.

Am not sleeping at all at the mo and have taken Nytol for the last few nights which seem to be helping.

Arrrrr................   

Tomorrow is another day 

Love to everyone

Lou xxx

P.S Molly am looking forward to reading your next installment 

Anne your post was lovely, so nice to read about your little girls


----------



## Donna Taylor

So hard to keep up with this thread.

Karen, hope your dad is ok?

Lulu, you sound really down I hope you feel better soon, have you been to the doctors about your chest thing? it seems to be lingering for a while now. Hope you feel better soon.

Congrats to all those who have been approved and possibly matched.

Very exciting Molly  

We have how interview on friday, just drove to place to check where it was and parkign etc. very excited and nervous, don't want to say or do the wrong thing

Donna xx


----------



## saphy75

Hi Lou, hope you are feeling better today hun. sending lots of    and      thoughts your way  

take care of you !!!  

pam xx


----------



## alex28

Karen - lots of   for your dad coming your way.

Lulu - hopwe you feel better soon - its good to get these things off your chest.  A friend once said to me that if you dont cry your tears then they will poison you.  So true - chin up girl!!  

Donna - hope all goes well on Friday - just be yourself!!  

Laine - thanks for answering that for me!

I was bored driving home from work a minute ago and rang SS to enquire about SW but it went onto ansaphone so i never left a message - god im so impatient.  I said i would not ring until the 1st Feb but there you go thats me all over - Little Miss Impatient!!  

Hope everyone else is doing ok.


----------



## herbaltea

Hi everyone  . I hope its okay to start posting here! 

I phoned the SW today after getting our info pack and asked if we could go to the next step! We have an appt for the 30th January! The SW seemed somewhat phased by the fact we are a female couple - I thought that now we can both adopt legally that things would be better for us? Time will tell! Very exciting to be starting this journey after all the waiting and frustration of IF. I am SO excited!


----------



## Arniegirl

Good luck! Our Sw interview is the day after yours, so we are at the same stage!
Arniegirl


----------



## alex28

HT - have replied to you pm but once again hope the meeting goes well and same to you Arniegirl xx


----------



## KarenM

Hi Girls

Thanks for your good wishes about my dad.  He is still very poorly and it is clear from conversations that errors were made in his treatment the last time he was in.  There's still a long way to go but each day is a step forward.

Lou - I hate to hear you sounding so down.  Hope you are feeling brighter today and that you are feeling better with this chest thing.  

Donna - Good luck for the interview.

Herbal tea - Good luck for your interview too.

Alex - Hopw you get hold of SS or hear from them soon.

Hi to everyone else - hope you are all doing ok.

No news here as so busy with work (still have my assistant off - its been 3 months now) and with sorting things out for Dad.  Then I must be mad as I start my Masters degree at the end of the month!!

Bye for now
Karen x


----------



## LB

hi girls

Lulu - big hugs hunny  from me to you XX -  hope you are feeling brighter today.

Karen - thinking of you and your Dad and sending best wishes.

hope everyone is having a nice day today.

we have had a busy mixed weekend - DH was 40 on Saturday - took him for a lovely romantic meal then on Sunday endured the shops with him so he could spend his "birthday money"  - then on Sunday night had a suprise get together for him - aww his face was beaming he was delighted 

on the downside my Mum rang first thing yesterday to say my Auntie passed away on Sunday - she was my Dad's oldest sister and he is taking it really badly - his face just looks sooo sad - it's extra hard cos my Dad is such a happy go looking chappy always singing and whistling - as Dad's do! 
and this morning i have woken up and literally can't hear in one ear - and my throat has since started up too - so its off to the Docs for me at 1110 no doubt for ear drops 

no word from the SS - we are well disapointed!
i am going to ring them today and find out what is going on 

love to all

LB
X


----------



## superal

LB & Karen

Sending you both big hugs as I feel you could both do with a cuddle((())) 

LB - I used to suffer really bad with my thorat when I got nervous, DH used to think it was great when my voice went, I hope the phone call to your SW brings some good news, you never know!.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## *Jenny*

hi ya all,

Just to let you know how the information evening went, well we went, we had to fight through peak time traffic   in really heavy   to go a place nearly a hour and half driving to be looked at has too young. Now i am 23 and DH is 27, they were all so much older and i felt so out of place  . Then to top it all they had a power point persentation which was exactly (word for word) what we had read in the information pack.   So for a hour and half we listened to everything we had read. But then a woman who had adopted told her tale and showed us her two little boys.   That was nice to hear from someone else point. Then came the end and we tried to make conversation with people but i felt very young and very poor. This sounds horrible but there was us in our escort van   (DH baby) and everyone else was in posh cars. this sounds really snobby of me but felt very much looked down upon. Well sorry to rant on. I did not feel it helped at all if anything it has made us feel that maybe we should just stay child free for a while.

Well i hope everyone else has had a better time of things. 

Jenny


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Karen - Family always come first, so no apologies for not keeping up to date.  Hope your dad feels better soon.  Good luck with the Masters Degree, what are you studying?

Lulu - Hope you are feeling better with the chest thing?  Have im'd you.

Donna - Good luck for Friday, let us know ho you get on.

Alex - That's me too, mrs impatient.  Hope you hear from the sw soon.

Herbaltea & Arniegirl - Hope your meetings go well.

LB - Glad you enjoyed the weekend.  Sorry you are feeling uwell.  Sorry to hear about your auntie.

Jenny - Sorry to hear that you didn't get as much out of the evening as you wanted too.  I'm sure no one was looking down on you.  Being young does not exclude you from adopting.  Follow your heart. 

Hello everyone else.

Dh has his medical on Friday, just hope he can make the appt on time  

Laine


----------



## magenta

no time for long personals (only got 5mins online) but just logging on to send hugs to all who want/need.  i think there are quite a few of us who need a big hug right now.

 

no news here - just more homestudy.

magenta x


----------



## naoise

Hi everybody, just thought that I would pop on and send all the sick and down of heart a great big
 it just seems that alot of people are feeling ill or having a hard time so I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you.

LOL Keli


----------



## molly2003

hi all i love to give this lvu    lots


----------



## Mummytoone

thank you everyone for the huggles, have felt them all  

Feeling ok'ish.... thanks Laine for the IM xxx

Jenny you are not poor and who cares that you have an escort van!! AND they were probably ALL company cars like us lol! Hope you feeling this slap on the hands!   You and DH will make fab parents to a child somewhere, please believe that.   Big hugs coming your way, can totally relate to any worries you have. Big Kisses xxxxxx

Hi to everyone

L xxx


----------



## Mummytoone

oh AND....

LB so sorry to hear about your auntie. xx Hope your dear dad is feeling better soon.

Karen- still thinking of you and your dad. Hope he is home soon and feeling much better

L xxxx


----------



## Boomerang girl

hi all,
Lulu I hope you are feeling better soon x

jenny- I do understand how you feel- we even felt it when we went to the kent info evening! I think some of the things they say are more to make the slightly older couples feel better. When we went they made the point that age is not a barrier as it appears to be insome LAs and they pointed out that a couple in their early forties may have as much if not more to offer than a much younger couple due to life experiences, financial security, stablility etc.  This concerned us initially, we felt we would be disadvantaged the same way you feel now. But having come out the other end I can see that it is not black and white like that- we were the second youngest on our prep course, and (nearly) everyone on the course had lots to offer from what I saw!
There were definitely people in a better situation financially, and probably some worse off! The children have such different needs that there will be a child or children whose needs you are just right for, Audi TT or white van!! we certainly have not been disadvantaged- niether have the younger couple (who were late twenties) both of us have been approved for "from birth"- us to four years nd them to two years.

On a "hopefully" good note for us- we got sent the form e today of a child- the one our papers went out for before xmas. apparently her sw wants to meet us. the little one is 18 months old and it is hard not to start falling for her already.  DH is reading the papers and we will talk about it later then our sw wants us to call her to discuss it further, which I will do tomorrow.  Trying not to get excited yet, but it would be wonderful!  I'm not sure if the sw wants to meet anyone esle or if its just us at this stage. fingers crossed!!!!


----------



## KarenM

Kylie

Really  excited  for you, can't wait to hear more.  

Karen x


----------



## superal

Kylie

That's fantastic news, you must be so excited, can't wait to hear more.

Molly - hope you hear about your matching panel date soon.

That's two people so far this year who have got possible matches, lets hope others follow shortly.

Look forward to reading everyones GOOD news, hugs to all those people still waiting and feeling under the weather.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## saphy75

fantastic news Kylie    keep us posted 

pam xx


----------



## alex28

Fab news Kylie - keep us posted!!


----------



## Mummyof2

Karen - hope your dad is improving.

Laine - hope your dh makes his medical on time.

Kylie - fingers crossed for you - she sounds lovely.

Jenny - Sorry to hear that you are feeling down.  Don't give up.  You have a lot to offer.  All the couples on our preparation course were in their middle to late 30s or early 40s.  I think this is because couples leave it later to start trying for their own child and then by the time they get to the preparation course, most people have been down the IVF route beforehand or have tried naturally for their own child for some years.  In my son's class, most of the mums are in their 30s - only 2 are in their 20s.  I think this is just statistics generally - couples are having children when they are older. One woman on our course was a single adopter in her late 20s.  She was not treated any differently to the rest of us.  Two of the couples on our course were very well off with own business, fab holidays, flash cars and lovely homes but they were very nice people.  One couple was not so well off as others with an old car and council home but once again they were very nice people.  On our course everyone bonded very well after a few days.  We were all at the course for the same reason - that we wanted to adopt a child.  We had all suffered the misery of not being able to have a/another child.  So we all had a lot in common.  I am sure that no-one judged you and your dh.  We are all special people in that we are wanting to adopt.  It must have been boring to have the same info repeated though      Don't be put off.  You know that adoption is the route for you and your dh.  Any child will be very lucky to get you both as its parents, I am sure.  Chin up and go for what you want.  It's your life.  Be determined.  Remind yourself that you are just as good as anyone else in the amount of love and security that you can offer.  It is the love and security that has been missing in adopted children's lives, things that money can't buy.

As for us, we have one more home study left.  Today I am filling out the new adoption form - Form F1 Part 1B, that has just come through as part of the new rules.  Wow, it is many pages long and very indepth.  Our sw says we are her guinea pigs as we are the first couple she is guiding through under the new rules - just our luck    Oh well, she has been on several courses on it so ...........

All the best to everyone

Jennifer


----------



## kizzie

Kylie - thats really exciting.
Do you get to see a photo at this stage or not?
Kizziex


----------



## Mummytoone

Kylie -wow how exciting! 18 month little girl sounds wonderful. aww this has spurred me on now! Hope you get some good news soon.  

Jennifer- Hope the new form isnt too horrendous! You nearly there now

Love to everyone

L xxx


----------



## *Jenny*

Thank you for all your kind words. Thinking about it is was probably me judging myself rather than anyone else judging me. Mad  ain't I. Well i have filled in the forms except the bit which says about why we want to adopt, i have been thinking about what to write before hand.

Has anyone had dealing with the local council. We are in a two bedroom council flat ( we only got a two bedroom cos and my baby which i lost.) How do we go about betting larger home if in the future we decided to adopt again.  Just wondering.

Well got to go. Will do personals later. But thank you once again.

Jenny


----------



## alex28

Hi all!

I was reading the article that someone posted about adoption leave etc. 

I am self-employed and it says there that LA's are encouraged to provide adoption allowances to those in my position as an alternative to SAP.  Has anyone in the same position ever got these allowances and at what stage would you mention them.

Thanks!


----------



## Boomerang girl

hello all,
well no change but a bit more info. I got my maths wrong. "xxxxx" is actually 17 months old 
right, I can't keep calling her xxxxx so I'm gonna make up a nickname. lets call her strawberry.

I have now read her form e about six times- each time i feel more sure. DH, who has always been the one to hold back, has reliably informed me that she is ideal, and nothing they can say will change our minds  I think he has finally let himself thinkit mighthappen.  I'm trying not to get excited yet it is such early days

our sw confirmed today we are the only couple whose papers the child's sw has got, and they are organising to come meet us at our house hopefully next week, for a "no strings attached information session".  I wish it was tomorrow!

No we hve not seen  photo yet- I think that will only happen once strawberry's social worker decides she wants to proceed with us after meeting us.  

In the mean time work is impossible- both due to staffing shortages and my mind being away with the fairies!

will keep you updated

k
x


----------



## everhopeful

Hi Kylie  

So excited for you, I remember the feeling well!
I remember sat in the office and getting that phonecall from sw - a form e of a little girl - which was put through our door before we got home that day. As soon as we gave the nod, her sw arranged to come to see us - with her superior.
After a friendly chat, they both had quick look round our house and as they were coming back up the garden path - from meeting our bunnies, they gave each other "that" look, and once inside again, they asked us if we wanted to see a picture. You can imagine how we nearly tore her arm off! And the rest is history!
We too worked her age out as being 18 months, but it turned out that she was infact 17 months. Snap!

Best of luck, keeping everything crossed for you and the meeting.

xx
PS I think Strawberry is such a cute nickname!


----------



## kizzie

Strawberry is a fab nickname   

I'm so excited for you - cant wait to hear more!

Kizziex


----------



## KarenM

Kylie - Wow can't wait for the next installment so many exciting things happening.

Alex- not sure of this is standard or it differes between each LA, but you get a settling in grant to buy various bits and pieces that was £300 per child.  I got some allowance whilst I was off which was to boost my salary up to 90% to allow me to take another 12 weeks off with the girls as they wanted more time for them to settle and get used to living with one another.  

Laine - thanks for asking.  I'll be doing an MSc in Human Resource Development and Organisational Change.  I am an HR Manager for the  

Lou aka Lulu - Glad these  news and vibes are spurring you on.  What's next for you?

Hope everyone else is ok.  Well news from me.... finally after complaining given that Dad had been in for 4 days and nothing had happened, yesterday he finally got something done.  They have almost admitted that they did something wrong the last time he was in which has led to this set back.  I heard from my brother todayy, he's gone to Africa for 9 months and it sounds like he's having a great time.

Anyway off to catch up....

TTFN
Karen x


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Kylie - Wow...fab news!  Can't wait to hear more about strawberry.

Jennifer - One more left woohoo!  Is the new Forn F part 1B what I imagine, an addition to the current form F?

Karen - Great job!  Good luck with the studying.

Lulu - How are you feeling today?

Hi to everyone else.

Laine


----------



## superal

Hi Kylie

Just wanted to say what a fab idea to give xxxx a nickname, I love strawberries....what a brill name.

It got me thinking about how the ones on this site who have been lucky enough to adopt would like to be able to give out their children names but obviously that is something we have been advised not to do.  Instead we type DD or DS so I thought your idea of a nickname was a really good one, so I'm going to be busy thinking up suitable names (nickname) for my two.

Quite a few spring to mind for DS when he's in his hormonal, stroppy teenager mood............KEVIN!  but I will try to think of something different that suits their personalities. 

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Kylie - all sounding very good.  Hope all goes well.

Karen - glad to hear that your dad is on the mend finally.

Laine - the form F currently being used by everyone is being phased out as at 31 Dec 05 and a new form F is being put in its place.  As we are so far along we only have to do the new Form F1 Part 1B (part 1) as the part 2 hasn't been introduced yet, but will be in the next few months.  It is in addition to what we have done as it has taken us months to get this far so it would not be fair on us to start again.  When it is fully implemented later this year, the Form F will be scrapped and new people adopting will be filling out the Form F1 Part 1B as standard (12 x A4 pages + passport photographs of you both) and the part 2 will also be standard (don't know its official name yet so I am just calling it part 2).  

Bye for now

Jennifer


----------



## naoise

Hi ladies, I am sooo excited I have just had a call from our sw she is calling out to see us to start our home study, I can't believe it I am so happy I thought that they had forgot about us, and I was starting to get downhearted but now it is all systems go   . She is coming next Thursday so I am off on Wednesday so I will probably spend it cleaning everything including the dog!! I don't think she will be too impressed.
Hope everybody is well sorry no personals as I have got to go and make my gorgeous dh's dinner before he goes out.

LOL Keli


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Jennifer - Thanks for the explanation.

Keli - Oh good news on HS!  Can't wait to hear how you get on next week.

Hello everyone else.  Hope you are all ok?

Laine


----------



## alex28

Great news Keli!!!!

must be a day for it as i too got the Call!!!!!!! Yippee!!!!!!!!! We have been allocated a sessional worked though as there are no SW in our Town!!!  Its good in a way as it means she is totally dedicated to us and no-one else.  The lady from SS said she would speak to her on monday now and hopefully she would call us by the end of the next week to arrange the first visit.

Only downside is that she can only do days and not nights etc but i said not a problem - god we'd move heaven and earth if we had to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Going away for the weekend tomorrow so really pleased we got that call.  I do wonder if she only called cos i chased them  

Everyone else - i hope my positive vibes are floating around cyber-space and they land on everyone!!!! 

IM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ONE STEP CLOSER TO BEING A MUMMY!!!!


----------



## struthie

Brilliant new Alex,good luck xxx


----------



## saphy75

Hi girls

great news Keli

great news alex too !!

I'm soooo excited for you both    

pam xx


----------



## cindyp

Hi just a quick post, I'm off-line at home until 20th February (long irritating story) and can only nip on at work.

Kylie, great news, can't wait to hear more about Strawberry.

Karen, sorry to hear things haven't been going too well with your Dad.

Hope everyone else is well.

Will try and nip in when I can.

love
Cindy


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi all,

hope you're all well. We've some news, although its still very vague. We've decided not to proceed with the local baby, and so hopefully things will get going with the sibling group outside our LA now. I've emailed their SW (decided not to wait for our SW to do it) so will hopefully hear some news soon.

Kylie, you must be so excited.....I'll have to have a think about nicknames for our 2 (our!!). Still a bit wary of getting carried away though.

Good luck Keli and Alex, I really enjoyed our HS.....get your writing hands ready for some action!

Hope your dad recovers soon karen, and LB so sorry to ehar about your auntie.....maybe you'll be able to use her name as middle name for your children when you find them. I'm looking forward to using my mums.

better get back to work,
XXRuth.


----------



## Ruthiebabe

something else i mean to ask.....anyone here adopted outside their LA? Its' just our SW keeps saying that we won't get as much post-adoption support if we go for these siblings. I vaguely recall reading that somehting in relation to supoort had changed with the new legislation, but can't rememebr now.....anyone any ideas?


----------



## Boomerang girl

hey all- thanks for the good wishes. Not lettingmyself get too carried away yet- I doubt anything would change our mind, but maybe they won't think we are right. what will be will be. No word on which evening yet- but our sw only works mon-wed in the office so it is no surprise that she hasn't called us. hopefully we will hear on monday.

keli and alex brilliant news! I remember cleaning top to bottom (yes the house and the dog!) the first home study visit. we got a bit lax after that, but we will spend this weekend totally spring cleaning.  we will give harry a bath and a long run before our visit this time too!

jennifer not long to go now and all the homework will be over! I found it exhausting as I'm the one that wrote most of it. it was great when it was finished!

not but to report other than the fact that harry has decided to pee on the acrpet twice this wek,inthesame spot, and it absolutely reeks!!!  he NEVER pees in the house, no routine has changed, he has just been a BAD BOY! I spent a good hour last night trying to clean it. I walked in tonight and it stinks. I will have to use carpet deodorizer but you have to waituntil it is dry and it is sopping! i so hope it dries soon and we can get it sorted this weekend it doesn't make a very good impression does it?

anyway, after a nightmare week at work, the weekend is here hurrah! I think a big bubble bath and a glass of wine is called for tonight. have a good one girls!

xx


----------



## superal

Hi Kylie

If your really worried about your house smelling where your dear doggie has peed you could hire a carpet cleaner.

My DH brother brought their dog to see us the day before Christmas eve and the "lovely" little thing peed more than once in my house.  It nearly got my foot up it's ar***, sorry for got for a moment where I was!If it had been me I would have been horrified that our dogs had done that and would take it outside at once, it seemed like a joke to my brother in law, well I'm not laughing! 

We have two dogs our selves and they have never peed in the house, they are really well trained and go out side.  We've always had a carpet cleaner though as I'm conscious some times that our house smells of dogs and it smells so much fresher when we've cleaned the carpets.

Hope everyone else is OK.

"catch up soon"

love Andrea
xx


----------



## KarenM

Ruth

My Adoption Support Worker travels all over she has a case in Bristol (I'm in the Midlands).  These are all children who have been adopted out of area or who have moved.

They are bound to provide you support for three years post adoption (i.e the legal court bit).  However my ASW is still prioviding support to someone 12 years post adoption.  Good luck for the sibling group.

Karen x


----------



## Laine

Alex - Great news!  Hope you are enjoying the weekend away.

Laine


----------



## Boomerang girl

well, the carpet was a nightmare by saturday so I ripped it up- the underlay was drenched with pee too and it was awful! decided to pain the hallway- so now there is a decorating thing happening. new carpet arrives in two weeks, hallway will be freshly painted- much easier to explain than a bad smell!  Why is it painting seems like such  good idea until you are a couple of hours in?

I have completely done below the dado rail on the hall and stairs, but above it will have to wait until next weekend.

Not good really- DH and I- who rarely row- had a blazing row in the carpet shop. oh dear!

saturday was better though- DH is very up and down i think he is panicking about the lifestyle change and responsibility and money and all the things dh's worry about. but then he said when he read the papers he just thought- "I could be eveything for her (strawberry) and she- well she could be my DAUGHTER". he choked up and so did I. bless him- he is going to be  DADDY soon- if not strawberry then another child. He will be great!

I hope our sw has managed to line up a meeting for this week. I don't think I can wait another week to find out more.


----------



## Mummytoone

Just a quick hello

Kylie- sorry to hear about your row. We could have given you a run for your money last weekend, only our row was at the tile show room. We had a barney at each other, Adam was totally horrid to me. Men, arr........... Big hugs xxx  Just think of ickle Strawberry   Sooo exciting isnt it.

No news here really, had a lovely walk this morning on the beach, it has been beautiful here today, sat outstide and had a coffee on the seafront. Posted a piccie in the gallery, Adam is obsessed with our new camera   Been to MIL this afternnon, Adam did some jobs for her, and drunk far too much tea  

Other than that its a quiet life!

Love to everyone

Lou xxx


----------



## magenta

Wow...so much news.

Really looking forward to hearing about Strawberry and all the other adopted and potential adoptee children.

No news from us - still working our way through Homestudy.  We have a homestudy meeting with the agency director on Friday - he is assesssing our sw and also providing a second opinion before we are approved to go to panel. We are looking at our parenting potential so I hope my 'play dates' with my friend's wee girl count as 'relevant experience'.  I know it is nothing like having a little person live with you full time but i reckon that it is better than nothing.  Anyway...no doublt we'll find out on Friday.
  
Our CRBS checks, references etc are all in (well...i think so.  my medical hadn't arrived last time I asked but I presume it is ok now).  So just more meetings and reading up on attachment disorders for us!

Anyway....just wanted to say hello.  been lurking rather than posting whilst we haveno news but roll on April and we should be getting somewhere!

magenta xx


----------



## leanne2005

hello can i join your you all, me and my dp is thinking about adopting because my dp is azoospermic they told us we would beable to use donor sperm as all my tests come back clear but my dp does not want to use donor sperm so we are thinking of adopting i have a few things to ask how old are you meant to be before you can adopt? how long do you have to be married before you can adopt? and how common is it to adopt a new born baby? and us not using donor sperm will that affect us adopting?


----------



## Mummyof2

Leanne - here are good sites that will answer your questions I expect.

http://www.adoptionuk.org/default.asp or http://www.adoption.org.uk/information/page1.htm
http://www.baaf.org.uk/

On my preparation course I was told that you don't get new born babies as it usually takes around 10 months for the red tape paperwork to be completed so that is the earliest age you could expect.

Who can adopt?

* People from all ethnic origins and religions are needed. Agencies will always try to match racial and cultural background of the child and adoptive parents. You can read true-life stories from Be My Parent about matching carers with children of similar ethnic backgrounds.

* Disabled people are not excluded and sometimes experience of disability will be positively welcomed.

* Everyone has to have a medical examination and health issues will need to be explored.

* A record of offences will need to be carefully looked into but, apart from some offences against children, will not necessarily rule someone out.

* Adopters must be 21 years of age or over. Although there is no upper age limit, many agencies would not usually expect there to be more than about a 45 year age gap between the child and their adoptive parents. However, any age gap will be considered in the context of the needs of the individual child.

* A single person, or one partner in an unmarried couple - heterosexual, lesbian or gay - can adopt. You can read about the experiences of single, male, and gay and lesbian carers in Be My Parent News & Features. From September 2005 unmarried couples in England and Wales will be able to apply to adopt jointly.

* There are far more people wanting to adopt white babies without disabilities than there are such babies needing homes. Because of this, some agencies close their waiting list for prospective adopters for these babies.

All the best

Jennifer


----------



## kizzie

Hi - Just a quick questions.  I noticed on a few posts and peoples signatures that they had 'passed' their prep course.  Does this mean that you are tested at the end of it - or that they mark you on your contribution during the course?

Just wondered because this hasnt been mentioned to us.

Thanks!
Kizziex


----------



## saphy75

We were not marked at all on our prep course, I'm sure they would of told you if they were going to grade you on your contribution during the preps 

pam xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi Kizzie - we were told that our preparation course was an occasion where we would be able to ask questions about adoption and learn more about if it was for us.  We were also told that the people who ran the preparation course would be watching us and seeing if they thought we were the sort of people they would want to proceed with adoption.  At the end of our preparation course our LA was sent a report on how we did on the course which we were allowed to see.  It said how we had joined in with the others on our course, about our time keeping, how we responded to being put into groups and separated from our other halves, if we completed our homework on time and relevantly and a little bit on our personalities.  We were told that if it was felt that we did not meet the requirements or if we felt that adoption was no longer for us after going on the preparation course, then we would not be able to proceed.  It was not until our LA got the report on us after the preparation course that we were officially accepted by our LA, allocated a social worker and able to proceed to home study.

All the best

Jennifer


----------



## momo

Superal- Happy Birthday!!! 

Kylie- Hoping everything goes well with strawberry! Hope Harry doesn't take a liking to your new carpet in the same way...!

Karen- Good luck with the studying.

Well- it looks like we are definately going to panel in March now as still no one to check & sign our report- but we are off on holiday next Thursday for 2 weeks so that should take our minds off it a bit!- and we getting another rescue cat!

Hope everyone else is OK.

Momo


----------



## gillywilly

Hi all
I havent posted for a while guess been busy getting on with homestudy. We had visit on Thursday and our sw is pleased with how things are going. She has 1-1 with dh next week and then she is of to meet refs and write up first draft of report. She made us aware that there will be gaps after that to meet and discuss but as yet we dont next meeting. However she did use words on 'home straight' - not getting too excited coz she then said office is busy and she is BUT we are top of her list to be prepared for panelso keep everything crossed for next couple of months for us. We have done most of our bit and its going to be a little frustrating.

Hi to you all 
Happy birthday Superal
Alex hope you see my update
Kylie hope everything goes on with strawberry
Momo hope u get to panel March

Love and hugs GILL

PS I feel so positive so far about the experience of adoption am I floating in a bubble?


----------



## kizzie

Hi jennifer and Pam - thanks for answers on prep course  

Hello to everyone else!

Kizziex


----------



## everhopeful

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SUPERAL  

Hope you've had a lovely day

Ever x


----------



## lisaw36

Firstly, belated birthday wishes to Superal ........... hope you had a good one. 

Sorry to not write before I have been logging on but always at work and sometimes it is difficult to keep up to date, reply and so forth without losing everything or people peering over your shoulder.  As much as I love the smileys they do distract everyone to your screen when you are at work  

Kylie, I am so happy for you about Strawberry ....... such a sweet idea to give her a nickname - one I think that will stick for a long long time ......... fingers crossed for you and your dh   

Kizzie - Jennifer seemed to answer everything.  We start our prep course tomorrow (oh mi God ........... ) and we received a thick envelope from our LA with a homework book, various observational sheets and a form to hand in at the end which says, just as Jennifer says, time keeping, inclusion in the group, etc.  Didn't see anything about how we reacted apart but glad that I have now seen that so I can pre-warn my dh ......    

Momo enjoy your holidays ....... take some time out and you never know decisions may have been made by the time you get back  

Gillywilly - good luck - on the home straight sounds so wonderful - and such a long way away for me at the moment.  But, and this is to all of those starting out on this trek ...... every small step in the right direction ..... is a step in the right direction - thought I was going to say something meaningful there but, no!!  

To everyone else not mentioned personally, hope you are all pootling along - I will report tomorrow after my first day on the preparation course.  I know I have found these sort of messages interesting so for those who are only beginning, it may help.  

Lots of love to you all ........      

Lisa W 
xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Superal - happy belated birthday  

Lisa - good luck with the preparation course.  It is nice to meet others, face to face, who are in the same boat as yourself.  

Kizzie - glad to have been of help.  

Gill - sounds like all is going well  

Bye for now

Jennifer


----------



## superal

Hi everyone

Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes, I can't believe I'm 39!   

I had a really lovely day with some lovely cards and presents.

DS picked his own birthday card this year, rather than Dad buying it and it brought a lump to my throat!

DD wrote all by herself in her card to me and that nearly had me in floods of tears, her writing has come on leaps and bounds since she started school.

DH surprised me at work with a big bouquet of flowers....I'm wondering what he's going to do for my 40th next year.

I have to say that our DS moved in with us the day before my 30th birthday, he was the best 30th birthday present I got! That's 9 years ago now and I often wonder where the time has gone.

It's lovely to read everyones news and I'm so glad everyone is moving along the road to adoption happily.

Kylie & Molly can't wait to hear more about your possible matches, please keep us updated.

For all of you still waiting to hear about a placement, I hope your dreams come true soon.

Take care
Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## superal

SORRY!

Forgot to say GOOD LUCK to Lisa for the prep course tomorrow.

Andrea
xx


----------



## lisaw36

Thanks Andrea .........arrrgh!!    Can't find papers for tomorrow's course ........... grabbed the recycling bin but they are not in there so can only assume my DH is being extra wonderful and when he said he would have a look at them he has taken the whole lot and is studying them on the train journey home from work. He has to work extra late to make up for the time off so ............fingers crossed that is where they are.  They were on the settee with all the sunday papers yesterday so ...... 

They can't possibly be anywhere else - we don't have leprechauns in SE London do we 

Will check in tomorrow with news but in the meantime lots of love .......... and especially to the adoptive mummys - I can't wait to join your gang! 

Lisa
x


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Andrea - A Belated Happy Birhtday to you    Glad you had a lovely day.

Lisa - Hope everything went well at the Prep Course?

Gill - Nice to hear from you.  Hope you get a panel date soon.

Momo - Have a nice holiday.  Wher are you going?

Leanne - Hello and welcome to the thread.

Magenta - Glad HS is going well.

Lulu - How are you?

Ruth - Hope you hear soon.

Hello to everyone else.

Dh's medical is out of the way.  Looking forward to next Wednesday when we start our Assessment Group course and find out who our SW is for HS. 

Laine


----------



## Mummytoone

No news here, hi to everyone.  

Getting fed up with waiting and trying to remain focused. 

Love to everyone

Lou xxx


----------



## Jo

Hi
I do keep popping in to see how everything is going 

Lou, you will soon be on your way hun, stay focussed  

Laine - Lovely to see things are moving for you, this time next year hun, things will be so different for you and Justin................. fantastic  

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all ok, I am going in for a lumber puncture next Weds, really not looking forward to it, but need to have it done to try to get the drugs I need on the NHS for my M.S , they would cost us £17,000 a year privately, and thats just silly money !!!!

Take care everyone, and I will pop back to see how you are all doing again 

Love and hugs
Jo
x x x


----------



## Mummytoone

Blimey jo, hope it all goes well. 

Life will be very different for you and Paul soon too     

Love Lou xxx


----------



## Mummyof2

Jo - hope all goes well for you.

Laine - good to hear that dh's medical is out of the way.  What is an assessment course?  Sounds like our preparation course but you have already done that I know.

Lou - the hardest bit is being patient and staying focussed.  As time moves on it seems a very long time ago that the decision to adopt was made.  Sometimes it seems to us that we have moved on with our lives so much since then.  Still, finally it seems we are nearing the end of the road so hopefully we will feel some of the initial excitement again when we get a "set in stone" panel date.  Our sw has told us that after panel we will be invited to an open evening where videos of children waiting to be adopted in our area will be shown.  Can't wait.

Hi to everyone else

Jennifer


----------



## superal

Hi Every one

Lou- I know its hard but try to stay positive   everyone here is here to help and support you.

Lisa - how was the first day of your prep course?

Karen - hope things are a little bit better with your Dad.

Kylie - Anymore news yet about Strawberry.  ( I did think of refererring to my 2 as DS- Kevin, stroppy teenager and DD - Angel, as she is my angel but thought it was not fair on DS to call him Kevin so then thought of SONshine, in the end I thought NO, DS & DD will do fine!)

Molly - hope you get that call soon to tell you everything is going ahead.

Nat's- have been thinking about you and hope your yearly review went well & hopefully gave you some good news.

Jennifer - sounds exciting about watching clips of potential children, good luck.

Laine - thanks for the birthday wishes, glad to hear things are going smoothly for you.

Gill - glad to hear from you again, what a nice way to look at your experience of going through adoption, you feel as though you are floating like a bubble     

Hi to everyone else, sorry if I've missed you out but DH has just come home and wants some dinner!

TFN
Andrea
xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Lisa - how are you getting on with the prep course?

We saw our sw last night for our last home study visit but she now feels that we should have one more home study visit to tie up everything and talk at length about what sort of child we have in mind to adopt.  She hasn't got around to interviewing our referees either and is too busy to do it for a few weeks so our panel date has been put back to 6th of April from 9th of March    Oh well, what's another month  

All the best to everyone

Jennifer


----------



## Mummytoone

Sorry strop coming on    

We are so fed up of hearing nothing, Adam popped into our LA agency today. Well the news is, we are not down for the Feb prep course, nor the July course but MAYBE one next year!! Can you believe that!!! They said they are in undated with special needs children and they are taking priority. Im sorry but it frustates me how badly some organisations are run. Talk about keep you hanging on a string, I mean when would we have been told this information? I have rung so many times and never been told.

So..... its new agency.

I have phoned another local one who sound positive but the only worry with them is for 0-2 they only do Concurrancy Planning, and Im not sure i could deal with this, although I guess it could mean we end up with a really young bubs but then maybe only to loose him/her.  Anyone any comments on this?
The other agency is the Catholic Society, but they dont think they get any under 3 years of age.

The only good news is both agencys said they thought the time scale of our current agency as poor and far too long.

Help


----------



## Pilchardcat

Lou....Strop justified ! That's such a long time to have to wait isn't it hun   talk about one step forward, 10 steps back. Really hope you get somewhere with the other agencys Lou, sorry your pee'd off

Loads of love
Amanda xxxx


----------



## alex28

Lou - how bad are they!!!!

I think you are so justified in changing agencies - they will be very lucky to have such a lovely couple on their books.  I dont know about concurrent planning but know that i could not do it but hey i dont know enought about it to comment really!!

We have still not received our call from our SW thats been allocated to us - the lady did say it could be end of this week, early next so i will leave it till mid next week and then email them to give them a shifty along!!

Hope everyone is ok and has a lovely weekend.  I am going to re-grout my bathroom tiles as hopefully going to get a new power shower fitted very soon!  Ours just trickles out, is not very hot and goes cold if someone flushes to loo whist you are in the shower!!!


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi Lou,

how frustrating for you both! But if you can't strop here where can you!

I know there are few people on here who have done or are doing concurrent planning who will be able to help with that aspect. But if you decide that its not for you you may take some comfort from how our story went. When we first started enquiring we wanted pre-school kids, but were told they weren't taking on anyone for that age. so eventually we said we'd consider 0-8s. When we went to panel they decided it would be better for us to go for 0-6, which of course we were happy with and now our papers are out for a 2 years old. Our LA didn't think they'd have younger kids when we started the process but by the time we were approved they had. I'm not advocating lying to your agency, but i would suggest for this initial stages maybe try and adjust what you really want to what they will accept, because you don't actually put anyhting on paper till the end of the homestudy in relation to the children you are willing to take on. Get your foot in the door. 

hope this is helpful and doesn't sound too deceitful!
XXRuth.


----------



## Mummytoone

oh good point thanks Ruth, although our LA we have been with suggested 0-2 for us so they sort of made the suggestion xxxx


----------



## naoise

Hi everybody,

Lulu I don't blame you for feeling disheartened it must have been a kick in the teeth when they told you that, they don't seem to be very organised. I agree with Ruth when we went for our info evening at the end we filled in the form and said that we would take a sibling group at 0-8 years, which in reality we would like a sibling group but as young a possible age, we just thought it would maybe help us if we told them what they wanted to hear to get us started.

We had our sw visit yesterday, and we are scheduled now for once a fortnight for homestudy, it is my turn next for my individual meeting and I have some homework to do and email to her before she comes back. And she is bringing our medicals to bring to our gp, which they pay for. So it is all systems go!!! 

Jennifer sorry to hear that your panel date was postponed, but as you say it's only another month.

Lisa I hope you are enjoying your prep course.

Hi to everybody else and hope that you are all well.

LOL Keli


----------



## Mummytoone

Just come on to rant again........


      

Why is my life so flippin hard......

All that hurry to come off my wretched tablets too, it feels like you struggle to get back on your feet and then someone kicks you down. Adam and I are good people why do we have to go through such a hideous time.



      

sorry just having a me moment. Im off for a glass of wine in the bath


----------



## Boomerang girl

lou I am so sorry thats really really hard and unfair. We waited nearly a year to do our prep course- it made me so cross!!!!! I agree with ruthie if there is  way to get your foot in the door.....  I also know of a couple in our LA who said on the prep course they were going for two chn o-4 (everyone on our prep course except for one couple said that) but they hve just been approved for one child or twins under two- so things can change after you get that foot in the door!


As for us- no news I'm afraid. It is doing my head in! our sw had left messages with the other one, only to find out on monday that the other sw was on leave all this week but didn't bother to say! so HOPEFULLY a meeting next week, if our sw can arrange it with her on monday. If I knew this was "the one" and going ahead it would be easier, but if it isn't all these delays of weeks (they have had our papers since early december) and if it is not the one, if we re not right for her, we go back to square one- all this time with our papers not being considered for any other matches. boo hoo. fingers crossed for next week.

jennifer sorry about the prep course delay. it seems a month here or there is nothing to the sws!

andrea sorry I missed your b'day- hope you had a good one it sounds like you did!


----------



## Jo

Lou
I am sorry to read your news.
I hope the new agency will treat how you should be treated and thats well  

Wishing you lots of luck for the future 

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## LB

big hugs to Lulu - it's one thing to stall things but quite something else to avoid giving you the facts - you must be soooo frustrated - hope things turn a corner soon!  XX

dh and i are well frustrated at the moment - it is now five months i have been back at work and we are no further forward - fair enough our circumstances are a tad unusual but we have no clear picture of what is to happen getting fed up of waiting now - WE NEED TO MOVE FORWARD  and cannot do so yet!!!

we are beginning to feel that this is never going to happen - and after all this time i am finding it hard to stay positive - we really need to kow where we are going with this!


mmmmmmmm hope i bought the correct ticket for the Euro millions - will let you all know 

LB
X


----------



## KarenM

Hi Girls

Lou - You rant to your hearts content, a little bit of courtesy even if it not what you want to hear wouldn't go amiss.  Hope you get to find a way to reach your dream soon.  Keep your chin up.

Andrea - glad you had a good birthday.  I too struggle about what I could call the girls but it will have to stay as eldest and youngest!

Jenny - Sorry to hear you have had panel put back.  frustrating I know but I'm sure you'll have nothing to worry about.

Alex - Seen you post on Belly Club - well done.

Kylie - Hope you get to hear something soon.

Ruth, Nats and Molly - Hope you all get some positive news soon.

Keli - Sounds like things are progressing well for you.

LisaW - Hope you are enjoying the prep course.

Laine - Good luck for starting your home study

Jo - Good luck for your lumbar puncture test.  Hope everything goes well and you can get the treatment you need.

LB - Hope you hear something soon

Hi to everyone else - hope you are all doing well with your journey's

Well I started university today and I have come home laden with text books!  Can't wait to get inot it all and hopefully gain my MSc at the end of it.  Dad came out of hospital today.  They discovered that the lung they deflated for his operation was infected (almost admitted it was their fault!) and that there was excess fluid on it.  They have drained about 2 and a half litres off and there is still more to come.  He is eating now which is a good result but now he's home Mum is having to drain the remaining fluid off his lung so many times a day and the district nurse is calling in too.  My sister is coming over in just less than 3 weeks as she wants to see Dad for herself.  She's coming on her own so we are having a girlie night out.

The girls are doing really well and I am now investigating getting the eldest started at school a term earlier than planned.  She so needs it, she's such a bright cookie and I am so proud of what she is achieving for such a young age.  Youngest is developing really well given her slow start.

Anyway I've been typing this post for what seems like an age and my WW point limited glass of wine is not going down.  I suppose if I savour it it will last longer and I won't want more!!

Bye for now
Karen x


----------



## Boomerang girl

Hey karen,
enjoy that wine. I am glad to hear things seem to be looking up all round.
When is dd due to start school? What about nursery? If you luck out with the early start PM me I might be able to give you some ideas with a few more details. Its kinda my area (school, being a teacher that is )


Ihope noone is offended by me thinking up a nickname. Its just I find it so hard to think of a child as "chld a" or chld b. at the same time I am not unrealistic. I know it is very early days. those close to us who know we have a possible match keep being really positive and I won't let myself think that way. there is no doubt I would want this to hppen, but everything so far in this process has included delays, or changes to what we have been lead to believe, so I am not setting my hopes on this.

LB I so hope things happen for you soon. I have never got as far as you and am already finding this hard. I just hope that it is true. It will happen in His good time. thinking of you. xx


----------



## Mummytoone

LB must be so frustrating for you, perhaps we can stand in the stroppy corner together   Hope you get some news soon. Hope Miss Ruby is well, Harry said tell her he is off to the river this afternoon and the beach again tomorrow, he likes swimming   Have a nice weekend all of you xxx

Karen- your poor dad, he and your mum sound like they are coping really well. What an awful time you have all been going through. Eldest sounds like she is doing very well, those girls are a credit to you and Rich.

Kylie- I cannot understand why anyone could/would be offended by Strawberry having a name?? We are all very excited waiting to hear the next installment.

Well am off to do the branch surgery and see what fun greets us there.  


Byeeeeee............

Love Lou xxxxx


P.s Hey where has Lillianna been all this time?


----------



## superal

Kylie - NO ONE is offended by you giving strawberry a nickname, I think it's a cool idea.

I did think of calling my 2 by nicknames and if you read a previous message you'll know why I decided to just refer to them as DS & DD, it's a bit different in your case at the moment as you have a potential match with strawberry and until everything is done & dusted and she's moved in, it's hard for you to call her DD, so please don't think any one is offended, I'm not! 

LOU -  have sent you a PM.

godd morning to everyone else!

love
andrea
xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Karen - glad to hear that your dad is on the mend, finally.  What a worrying time for you all.  

Hugs for all who need them.

Jennifer


----------



## Mummytoone

quick hello to everyone, having a blobby afternoon on the sofa with the dog and lap top, nice.  

Andrea, cant that you enough for your IM, what a massive help thank you. xxxxxx

everyone else hello, am trying not to think about the crap today and am going out tonight, with Adam, best friend from work and her other half and we are bravely taking out our new vet at work who is, shall we say very into the opposite sex. He is a bit of lad so it will be intersting. i have given Adam strict instructions that he needs to keep him under control. Lets just say I think we need to find him a girlfriend   we may even going clubbing if we are brave, crikey is that ok at 30? Oh well......

Hope everyone is having a relaxing time

Love lou xxx


----------



## Pilchardcat

just popping in 

Lou 

Have a fab time tonight and yes you can go clubbing at 30   not so sure about me though.... 36        enjoy yourselfs and be good    

Love Amanda xx


----------



## Mummytoone

Amanda

We are ALWAYS good girls and boys  

If 30 isnt old then neither is 36!

Love Lou xxxx


----------



## magenta

Hello everyone,

Lulu - have a hug and an understanding smile.  We too 'told a wee fib' when first going to agencies.  We said we were interested in one or two from birth to 4 when actually we really want one child aged 1 - 3. 

Hope you enjoyed your night out - clubbing at 30 is acceptable.  however at 32 it is definately too noisy, too late and too youg for me (yes...i am turning in to my mother in my old age  )

JenniferF - I think we are going to be panel date twins!  We are down for panel on 6th April too (although it isn't set in stone at all).

Karen - Glad to hear your dad is on the mend.  Sounds like it will be a slow and gradula thing but hes home and that is a big step in the right direction.  i can't beleive your oldest in nearly ready for school - it seems like yesterday that you adopted her as a 'wee one'!!!

Kylie - I love the nickname.  I hope that when we are approved and matched we will be able to find a nickname for ours too!  Oh...and 'strawberry' always make me think of those strawberrry shortcake dolls that were around when I was a kid...all cute and lovely!

better scoot and do some housework! 

magenta xx


----------



## Mummytoone

I got asked for ID last night, made my day, in fact my week


----------



## Suzie

@ lou fantastic  

xx


----------



## alex28

Oh how chuffed would i be if that happened!!!!  Bet it made your night??

I must admit when DH and i went to USA about 4 years ago i got asked for ID, i mean there is no way on god's earth i look under 21 even in the most flattering light  

I am truly hoping that our newly allocated SW will call us this week.  We were told a while ago that at end of the last week/early this week she will contact us.  I think i will leave it till weds and then email them.

Hope everyone is ok and that magenta has not turned into her mother yet


----------



## magenta

Alex...it is getting worse. i AM turning into my mum.   

we went to 'Toys r us' today to price up stuff for when we eventually get a child (so we know how much money to put aside for things like buggy, cotbed etc).

I actually stood there in a shop...surrounded by gorgeous baby things and asked if a car seat cover was machine washable!!!  I AM turning into my mother...or maybe just A mother - not sure.  I mean...surely most mums to be look at the design, colour style etc and not the removeable, machine washable covers!!! 

We have decided to put aside £500 to buy 'toddler basics' based on a list of essentials given to my by the girls on Hitched.  From the pricing we did today, I reckon this will get us a mid range buggy/stroller thingie, a cotbed or junior bed with bedding, car seat, monitor, high chair and stuff like plates, cutlery, stair guard.  We reckon that although we are hoping to be approved for 0 - 2/3 we will likely get a child 18month - 3years.

Are we right in thinking that £500 is about right.  Obviously we would love to spend a lot more (what with all the lovely kids stuff you can buy) but could we do it on £500??

magenta x


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Jennifer - Sorry to hear about your panel date being postponed.  I have explained about the Assessment Group course below.

Lulu - Sorry to hear your news, how frustrating for you.  I am sure you will sort something out and it will be more positive for you. Clubbing eh?  and being asked for ID    

Alex - Why don't you give your SW a call and introduce yourself?  We have been informed of who our SW is and I am going to call tomorrow.

Magenta - Good news on your panel date.

LB - Hope you hear some good news soon.

Karen - Pleased to hear your dad is getting better.  Glad you enjoyed Uni.

Keli - Good luck with HS.

Lisa - How did the Prep Course go?

Hi to everyone else.

We have been allocated our SW and start HS on Wednesday.  Our HS starts with a three day (one day over the next three weeks) Assessment Group.  It's an intensive course, with homework to complete inbetween.  It consists of large group discussions, working in small groups/pairs and individually.  We have to write our responses to the topics and refer to them when we write up sections of our Form F.   

Laine


----------



## Mummyof2

Laine - your assessment group course was part of our preparation course. Funny how things differ so much depending on what area you live. Exciting times though, now that things are moving swiftly forward 

Magenta - How nice that we might be panel twins  Our SW told us that we will get £300 from our LA when the child comes to us to buy things like a cot etc, as well as the £250 savings bond and any other money that the foster parent has put by for the child from the child benefit (if it didn't all get spent that month). Re will £500 be enough - we are so lucky in that we have a natural son. With my son we bought lots of things second hand as some things are like new, especially cots as lots of parents seem to let their child sleep with them in bed so the cot doesn't get used. We got a lovely Mammas and Pappas cot for £50 which would have been several hundred pounds new and it looked new as their child slept with them in their bed instead. We bought our buggy second hand as well. We got the nursery bedding new but heavily discounted in a sale as it was end of line at mothercare. The only thing we have bought full price was car seats and cot mattress as it is not advisable to buy them second hand due to safety issues. The car seats we bought online from http://www.kiddicare.com/ as it was much cheaper than mothercare. We went to mothercare first to see which models of things we liked and then ordered online. Children's clothes at Asda are cheap and wear and wash well. Children's clothes from Matalan are cheap and don't wear and wash well but if you only intend to have one child, that isn't an issue. M&S, Next and BHS are good quality clothes as a rule that wash and wear extremely well but you pay more for them in the first instance. M&S and BHS clothes tend to be overlarge. If you take out a mothercare store card, make sure you fill out that you want to know of offers from mothercare as they regularly send you invites to promotion days where baby stuff is heavily reduced, you get vouchers sent to you as well to spend in store for example buy one get one free of nappies. All this saves heaps of money I found. Of course, it would have been lovely to buy all new but we couldn't afford it as some things are very expensive for example cots, high chairs, car seats and prams. Those things alone will probably come to £600 minimum depending on the model you buy. Hope this has given you some helpful hints.

All the best

Jennifer


----------



## Emcon

Hi all

Sorry I haven't posted for a while and this is a real me me me post so I do apologise but I am starting to feel really stressed!

We now only have one home study visit left this Friday and I am starting to stress about about the whole adoption process.  We had a HS visit last Friday where we discussed the type of child we felt we could adopt (we weren't expecting this, the previous week our SW had told us it would be our last one and was only a bit of form signing and a Health & Safety check on our house).

Anyway our SW discussed with us at length all the different types of problems we may encounter and she told us nothing we had not heard before but it has really freaked me out.  We have a son aged 5 from ICSI and I am starting to worry about how some of these problems may affect him, our SW has said that because we will be looking for a child 0 - 18 months (which she thinks is the right age group for our family) that there is a real risk that the child may be carrying hepatitis but that we would not necessarily know before the child is two.  I do not know the real implications of hepatitis but it has really freaked me out.  Our SW was very good and we did feel as if she was guiding us towards only considering children with a full background and full medical history, I suppose this has been my wake-up call.  Am I being selfish, because I feel I am.  I even feel that maybe we should have one last ICSI treatment which I know I don't really mean because I do not feel I could go through another failed cycle and I am committed to adoption but I guess I am just starting to panic about the reality of it.  

Sorry it is such a me me me post!

Em


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi Em, as you may remember I am at the same stage as you and also have a son (who will be 5 in 2 months time). Like you we were told at our last hs visit we only had


> to do a bit of form signing


 We had done our health and safety check the week before.

But when our sw turned up she said that she felt she needed to talk in depth with us about the sort of child we wanted. Apparently with the new Form F there is no tick sheet for the sort of child you are looking for so your sw and you have to discuss it in depth instead and this takes up an additional meeting to how it used to be done. We have now had another "final" meeting added on and been put back a month from going to panel because of this and also because sw has been too busy to interview referees yet.

The talk with the sw was rather depressing. She said that there is no guarantees with children and it is best to read between the lines when you look at profiles. She said that sw and therefore you only get the history of birth mother and that is only what she chooses to tell social services - sw rarely get history of dad. Therefore no guarantees can be made about possible genetic problems in the future. SW also said that no guarantees about child not being sexually abused either because that doesn't necessarily mean penetration so there can be no signs. She said that most children will have some sort of developmental delay due to poor start and due to age of child we want (18 months to 2 1/2 years) that developmental delay may turn out to be more serious learning difficulties at school age. No mention of hepatitus was made to us but I am supposing you were told of that in relation to mothers who have been drug addicts? If so, and you feel that you would not want a child with hapatitus then don't choose a child whose mother/father/carer was an injecting drug addict.

I must admit that dh and I were left feeling a little flat after our chat. You do hope that your adopted child will be "normal" like your birth child. I can understand exactly where you are coming from as we felt the same and were a little panicked afterwards. Then we thought about it and realised that no one would be making us choose a child that we did not feel was completely right for us and we would read between the lines as our sw suggested and we would not choose a child that had been open to situations that we could not cope with.

Don't panic. You will know the sort of child that is right for your family.

My friend has a 6 year old child (from ICSI) and she recently adopted a child who was placed with a foster carer from birth and so he had no problems at all. He was taken into care because last time she had a child his birth mother had abused that child so no chances were taken with this child. He is an absolute delight. May be we will be as lucky to be offered a child like this? Wait and see what children come along is what we have decided to do. Hope this has helped.

Jennifer


----------



## alex28

Laine said:


> Alex - Why don't you give your SW a call and introduce yourself? We have been informed of who our SW is and I am going to call tomorrow.
> 
> Laine


HI Laine - we cant as she is a sessional worker and therefore only brought in when needed i only know her name and that it!! We were told she would call end of last week/early this week so i have phoned this morning and been told that they have been really busy, the secretary is not back in till monday 6th feb so wont get our paperwork to the lady until next week now so god knows when she will phone now!!! At least i know its gonna be another week or so and id rather know theres a delay. One good thing is that at least the sessional worked has agreed to take us on!! She has a choice as its not a permenant thing she does.

Good luck for your HS start.

Em - i think its only natural that as having another becomes reality that you start to stress out about things. I hope it all calms down for you and you get to panel real soon. xx

hope everyone else is ok. xx


----------



## Emcon

Thanks Jennifer

It has helped and you have only said what my poor husband has been saying to me all weekend. 

I suppose our biggest concern is that alot of the parents of the younger children up for adoption are known drug users and you are right we would probably not feel able to offer these children a home, but also our SW also said that sometimes the info about the birth parents is virtually non existent because they cannot make them tell them what the always need to know which is why she has raised hepatitis as an issue we need to consider.  I am going to research this more fully on the internet before our next meeting. 

I do not know about you but I just want to finish HS and move on to panel.  We still do not have a date for panel yet but it is likely to be around March April.

Em


----------



## alex28

Hi Em,

just wanted to say to say that a good friend of mine adopted E when she was 9 months old, her BM was a bad user and friend was told E would have to have tablets/injections etc, her husband is a doc and looked up so much on the internet.  Anyway she is now 6 years old, lovely, no problems whatsoever.  They also have her sister who is 3 1/2 and again she is fine.  She does not have hep c though.

Hope this helps.


----------



## lisaw36

Very sorry that I have not come back after my first day of prep course.  Lulu reading through the posts I felt like you needed a big hug, but it sounds like all you needed was a night on the tiles!!  

Jenny .... thinking of you - how many more delays can you take.  Find something positive to do in the next month or so to take the focus away.  After all you may not have your freedom for much longer! 

To everyone else .... and particularly Kylie and Strawberry ---- awwwwgh -- it is a lovely idea ...... lots of love and good wishes for all the stages you are at. 

As for the prep course, it was fine.  Everyone was really nice.  Our head of adoption came in to talk about how the new law would affect us as opposed to those who were already proceeding prior to 30th December.    It was all very interesting and it helped us enormously.  There was lots of interaction and group chat which made us all join in and I felt we all knew a bit of each other by the time we got to go home (10 mins earlier which made us feel like we had been let out of school early!!). 

Our weekend homework was to observe a child of around about the age we would have to adopt.  DH and I had already allocated our nephew for this but they asked us to pick 2 children and do the task separately.  

I asked my mum if she could speak to her neighbour and arranged to go round there Saturday to see the 2 little girls next door.  I was terrified!!    I know lots of young children but they are all above the age that we wish to adopt (pre school) and that's why I went to speak to a little girl I only knew by face.    The first 20 mins both her and sister were glued to mum but by the time I left an hour and a half later I had to prise one off my lap and the other's arms from round my neck.  They both asked me to come back and play another day!!    It has really boosted my confidence that I can bond with a child I have never met before ........

whew .......sorry if it sounds so obvious but hearing about the placement stage of adoption made me feel terrified that I wouldn't be able to deal with it all.  Just braving that hour and a half on Saturday made me realise that I do love children and that I could do this, especially as he/she will become ours one day. 

Anyway second day on Wednesday and I think we are going to deal with specific types of abused children so expecting that to be harrowing.  

One last thing, did anyone have to do a half day infertility session.  We have to do this and as determined as I feel about adoption, I am not sure that I won't be able not to cry when I talk about the IVF and miscarriages .... did anyone else have to do this?? 

Loads of love to you all. 

LisaW
xx


----------



## alex28

HI Lisa

glad you enjoyed the prep course.  We did not have to do the homework or IF session.  However as you can gather from coming on here all LA;s do differ with their course etc.  Hope it goes ok and dont worry i think they will understand,  On our first interview i was a bit teary and apologised and they said not to worry about its, its quite normal.


----------



## kizzie

Hi lisa - our prep course was also very interactive and involved lots of preparation etc. 

Try not to worry about getting upset when talking about IVF.  Its such a difficult thing to talk about and i think they are used to people finding it difficult.  

Hope you enjoy the rest of it.

Kizziex


----------



## Mummyof2

Lisa - we didn't have to do this but we covered it in our home study with the sw.  It is very hard not to cry when talking about the miscarriages but I just about managed not to cry.  A trick that works for me is to bite your tongue when you are going to cry.  The pain takes your mind off crying


----------



## Lauren

Hi everyone

I haven't posted on here too many times but am forever coming on and reading all your posts.  Anyway I just had to come on today cos I am really excited as we have just found out we have been allocated a social worker to start our HS!  I know this is still totally early days in the long road ahead but each small step is a huge positive step in my mind and I'm just so pleased things are moving forwards.  We have been given her name and now have to wait for her to phone us to arrange a first meeting.  I am so having to learn the meaning of the word patience!

Laine - I noticed that you have to go on a 3 day assessment group as part of your HS even though you have already done a prep course.  We are also in Hertfordshire so will be interesting to see if we have to do the same.  Although things may differ as we are adopting from abroad.  Who knows?! Every LA seems to vary slightly from what I can see.

Lisa - I totally understand your fears that you may get upset while talking about IF and everything you have been through.  I'm sure they will be really understanding if you do get upset and of course you have got feelings of sadness about what has happened but the fact that you have come to terms with and accepted what has happened is enabling you to move forwards with the adoption and I think that is what is important.  Everyone on our prep course, apart from 2 people adopting relatives, had been through the pain of IF and we were asked at the beginning of the course to be sensitive to each others feelings and to acknowledge that people still feel sadness about this.

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


----------



## alex28

Great news Lauren - we too have been allocated ours - just waiting and waiting for the phone call now!


----------



## Boomerang girl

Lisa- don't worry about the IF half day its very easy going, they will split you into male and female and just hve a few guide questions to get the discussions going (PM me if you are worried!) we cameout with a cracking quote from I think the Sarah Biggs book which went down well- that the pain of childlessness is a different thing to IF, and some people can come to terms with IF but not childlessness- for those people adoption is the answer. That was just how we felt about it ll!

They also did something nice at the endwhich  I won't tell you as its a nice thing for couples in relation to how they feel about each other and we all said they should do it again in each course.  Nearly there now! Our friends who went to panel in December who have "A" as their socialworker have just had their papers sent out as a possible match so things are moving along well. PM me who the sws are on your course!!!

Sorry in a rush and needing to start tidying the house- finally some good news for us- both sws are coming around this friday night for the first discussion. if that goes well we will meet the foster parent in a couple of weeks.

wish me luck!!


----------



## lisaw36

Kylie ...... so excited for you and for A's other lovely parents to be.  You are helping me every step of the way.  

To everyone else, this should have been an IM message but we all need someone to focus on who has been where we are and is proceeding in the right direction.  Kylie is mine.  

Jenny .... your words sounded exactly like you knew how I felt - it is tough but we are being positive and that is the main thing. 

Tomorrow is day 2 of prep course ................let me at 'em!!! 

Lisa
xxx


----------



## kizzie

Kylie - good luck for the meeting!!  Hope it goes really well   
Kizziex


----------



## KarenM

Hi Girls

I will try and update the list over the next day or so so we can start a new thread with an up to date list of whre we all are.  There has been so much activity on this one.

Alex, Lauren and Laine - Congrats on being allocated your SW's and good luck for starting your home study.

Jenny and Em - The discussion about what type of child was a difficult one for us too.  At the time there was a page in the Form F that had a list of about 30-40 different scenarios and you had to tick, "Yes", "No" or "Would consider with further info".  We only had about 6 yes's and then 12 "Maybe's" and all the rest were No's.  At the end of the day you have to consider your ability to deal with the issues whilst parenting them from childhood into adulthood and how any decision might affect your quality of life as well as theirs.  There will inevitably be some unknowns.  We were quite fortunate with the information that we got although at some of the reviews a few little additional snippets kept popping out but thankfully nothing that would have swayed our decision.  Hope you find a happy medium.

Lou -  at the id.  Can't remember the last time I got asked but would love it.  What a feel good factor.  How are things going for you?

Kylie - Good luck for Friday.  I am sure you will be fine.  The Sw's will answer any questions you have about the Form E.  Really excited for you.

Magenta - I would highly recommend the www.kiddicare.com site that Jenny mentioned.  I had loads of stuff from there.  I'd say we probaby spent about that on each of our girls.  My eldest is 4 in November so we have to apply then for her to start in the following September.  However I want to try and get he in from next January as she really needs it.

Lisa - hope you enjoy the course.  We only had a small part of the course on IF and there was only one person out of 20 that got upset but for her it was close to an anniversary so that made it harder.  I'm sure there will be others thinking exactly the same as you.

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all doing well with your journey's

We popped in to see our youngest's foster mum at the weekend as we went out for a walk and a pub lunch near where she lives (we have an arrangement to pop in if we are in the area!).  Was lovely to see her.  Our youngest was her 137th foster child!!!  She's only seen her twice since she moved in with us so she really noticed a difference.  Need to organise to go and see the eldest's foster mum as I don't want the eldest to feel left out.

Right have loads to catch up on as hardly got on over the weekend.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Morning Buddies, 

Well we went to court and our special little boy is now legally ours, yipeeeeeeeee. We are so happy to finally put the last piece of the adoption jigsaw in place. 

We had a fab day with all our family and he was the center of attention as usual and loved every minute of it. His favorite word is ayarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr which he shouts at everyone we meet at the moment with a big grin on his face. 

Good luck to all who are still on there way to becoming parents. It is just the best thing ever. 

Hugs from a very happy mummy mandyxx


----------



## magenta

Just wanted to say size=10pt]'congatulations'[/size to mandy and her family.


----------



## Mummytoone

Our news

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,47462.from1138802250/topicseen.html#msg605507


----------



## superal

Lou - have you a IM.

Mandy - congratulations on the final stage of your adoption journey, I hope you had a brilliant day.

Best wishes to everyone else, feel a bit sad that Lou will be leaving us for now 
Love
Andrea


----------



## momo

Hi girls,

Lou- sorry you are leaving- wishing you all the very best in whatever you do.

Congratulations Mandy- thats lovely for you!

Kylie-  Hope the meeting goes well on friday- sending you very best wishes for that!

Karen- Hope your course is going well and your Dad's health is improving.

Lisa- Hope you enjoy the course.

No news here- other than our panel date will be 27th march and we have got one more visit to come from a different S/W after we return from holiday. It is our agency's new rule that a second S/W must visit you as well.

Going on holiday tommorow to Thailand- 4 nights in Bangkok and 12 in koh Samuii- been looking forward to it for ages- last day at work today!  Our S/w said to make the most of it as could be last one together as a couple- don't know whether to read anything in to this or whether she was just trying to cheer us up as the panel date keeps changing?!

Anyway- hope everyone is ok 7 best wishes to you all,


Momo.


----------



## naoise

Hi was hoping someone would be able to give some advice, I am doing my homework for my individual session with my sw and I am writing up my about myself section and I am starting to worry that I haven't written enough has anyone else done this and when is it enough. 

From a confused Keli


----------



## momo

Hi kelly-  For our individual sessions, we were asked to first of all do a page in chronological order of all imprtant dates, such as schools, work experience, changes of address, important life changes (ie deaths/ marriage) from birth to now without leaving any years unaccounted for.

Then working from this, expand on each area in more detail- ie- did you like school, favourite lessons etc, roles at work, life changes and how they made you feel.

I think it varies individually how much/little you write depending on expereiences etc- i did about 3 pages, dh did 1 and half.  

Hope this helps,

Momo.


----------



## Boomerang girl

Hey girls!!
most exciting news (being the sad cow I am!! )... DH has booked friday off work, which means when I come home knackered like I did tonight and will tomorrow, I won't have to do all thehouse cleaning- HE can do it friday!! Yippee! Trying not to read too much into friday though.

Lisa- Hope today went well!! We did find the different abuse scenarios quite daunting- we all felt very flat afterwards and all were on a bit of a downer for the next session butwe soon picked up again! Have you been to the pub yet? At least you don't have to trudge through the snow like we did. I went along trying to look all cool in my 140 pound "Camper" boots on thefirst day then trudged through snow for ten minutes to get to the pub. Luckily they are still ok. Then I silently fumed as DH ordered a pint at lunchtime  .. but he wasn't the only one.  Seems like a world away now.

Kelly don't worry the homework is just a starting point for the sw so if there isn't as much as she wants she will just tweak it out of you.

Karen its so nice to hear of dd visiting her foster mum- I expect we will get guidance on how soon etc to do that when the timecomes? It does seem so important children can have some contact so to know that important people don't just disappear. I can't wait until we can do country pub walks as a family too!!

to everyone else good luck and good wishes- like Karen says its so busy now its hard to keep up!

Lou my thoughts are with you

xx


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Mandy - Congrats! Hope you enjoyed your day.

Kylie - Tons of luck for Friday, can't wait to hear all about it.

Lauren - Good luck with HS.  I would have thought you'd have heard by now if you were going to have an assessment group?  It is a pre cursor to HS.

Lisa - Hope you enjoyed the course today?

Momo - Have a fab holiday.

Keli - We have to write between 1500 and 2000 words for our individual profiles.

Karen - How lovely to visit you dd's Foster mum.

Hi to everyone else.

Really enjoyed the course.  Oh and we have tons of Form F homework to complete before next week.

Laine x


----------



## everhopeful

*CONGRATULATIONS TO MANDY AND DH ON YOUR BIG DAY !! *     

That's really great news about your adoption day. Glad you all enjoyed it.
Now onwards and upwards!!

All the very best xxx


----------



## keemjay

Hiya 
i've been a bit absent on this board for a bit...but have been reading...just had nothing to add as waiting for prep course to start(begins in 2 weeks)  I've sort of been trying to keep it all at the back of my mind and enjoy the gap before it all kicks off...i'm starting to realise how much is involved in the home study from reading what you've all had to do  I'm sort of excited and nervous all rolled up in one! 
we've had plenty to keep us busy in th gap..new pup is quite a handful, in a cute way, but takes up a lot of time.... we're learning to control him (hope he calms down before a SW sets eyes on him lol) dh has been out of work since oct and really needs a to get a job..trying v hard but the right thing has eluded him so far. the phone never stops with IT agencies phoning and i can hardly get near the laptop! he is going for a 2nd interview for a job tomoz so hopefully this'll be it. its been nice having him home and sharing pup duties, but i think now we're both ready for him to go back to work 

lisaw - our first prep course meeting is a half day on infertility and loss..not much looking forward to it either! 

msw - congratulations on getting to the last post   glad your little man enjoyed his big day 

will try and keep up better now!!

kj x


----------



## KarenM

Keli - Just had a look on my computer and I typed 3 pages for my profile. I just basically did my life in chronological order: Where lived, first school memories, significant events in my life, family, relationships, school exams, college, work to now. Learnt alot more about each other.

Mandy -  * Congratulations *  Its a great feeling isn't it.

Laine - glad you are enjoying the prep course.

Momo - Have a lovely holiday. Won't be long after you get back until your panel.

Lou - Have posted you on your thread 
Karen x


----------



## magenta

hi,

my indiviual profile is three pages and it is in addition to the three pages of chronological stuff. SW is now adding in all her notes to it but my bit was 3 pages A4 typed.  I suppose each agency does it differently!

no news here - working on ecomap and getting financial paperwork together for next meeting.  Got three meetings to go (and 9weeks til panel) and sw is already looking at children in CWW and BMP for us!

just want to add - was feeling really down this week (best mate got a bfp) and it really helped being able to come on here and read posts and feel that I am on a journey too with lots of other people.  want you to know how much you helped and made me happy again.

magenta xx


----------



## leanne2005

i know how you feel magenta my db and his gf told me they had got a   a few days ago and i felt really bad a first and i come on here had a chat with a fe people and now im fine about it, it does help to talk about it


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi Keli - my individual profile was 11 x A4 pages long    Had to list all the addresses I've lived at on one sheet, all my qualifications on another sheet, all the jobs I ever had and a brief description about what I did and why I stopped working there.  In the main body I had to write paragraphs entitled:-

My Interests/talents
My Personality (as a child and now, how do your friends see you, how does your partner see you, anything you wish you could change, how do you think you have been shaped over the years, what caused this shaping?)
Employment
Education
Earliest Memories
Describe your parents and siblings - physically and emotionally (were you close as a child, are you close now.  If yes - in what way - give examples.  If no - why not, give examples)
Describe your childhood (what were house rules, was money tight, were your parents strict, did you have pets, did you make friends easily, did you go on family holidays etc)
Describe your faith (how often do you go to church, is your faith important to you, if yes why and if no why, do you believe in life after death)
Describe how you see your future (do you plan to go back to work, if yes why, if no why)

Took me 8 A4 pages to write all this down.  The length of your individual profile depends on what you want to say I guess and how varied a life you have had possibly - I've moved around loads all my life.  

Bye for now

Jennifer


----------



## saphy75

Very Happy Mummy Mandy soooo sorry i somehow missed your fantastic news yesterday hun

 MANY CONGRATULATIONS ON OFFICIALLY BECOMING A MUMMY   

pam xx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi all,

cor, you take a few days off sick and the whole worlds gone mental. I had 70 new emails this morning, most of which were from this site!

Congrats Mandy......you must be feeling on top of the world. 

Lulu....please don't give up. You know you'll be great parents, and you know there are thousnads of kids out there that need parents like you. Its just a question of finding the right avenue to pursue it. 

Hope everyone else is well, no news from here......still waiting! 

xxxruth.


----------



## jude2

HI everybody,

it is ages since I have been on here and have just had a quick look to see how wverybody is getting on.  I can't access the site from my work PC any more so have to try to get on at home (not easy as husband always 'working')!

Congratulations Mandy.

Sorry I can't reply to everybody individually.

Just to update:  we had our panel at the end of November in the end and were approved for 1 or2 0-7.  Then we moved house and were expecting a long wait.Andthen we got  a phone call in mid December about a little girl 10 months at the time.  We go to matchin panel at  the end of this month and all being well should start intros mid March.  Very excited and very busy trying to sort out the house!

Good luck to you all, will try to keep up a bit better.

Love
Jude


----------



## Boomerang girl

Wow Jude thats fantastic!!!!!!!!!

and mandy- sorry I forgot to say a big congrats on your special day
xxx


----------



## saphy75

Great news Jude,  

pam xx


----------



## KarenM

Great news Jude.  Hope all goes well for matching panel and your intro's

Karen x


----------



## superal

Congratulations Jude


----------



## alex28

Hey guys - hopes all well??

Mandy - fandabbydozzyyyyyyy news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jude - great news - hope panel and intros go well and your little girl is home with you soon.

well good news and blimming frustrating news.

Got home last night and there was a message from the social worker that is going to be doing our Home Study - YIPPEE!! me thinks!  ANyway just calling to arrange my first visit etc, i will call again another time!!!

No number for me to call back, number withheld.  Why did she call me at home during the day when she knows i work full time and had all my contact numbers.  Its like they are teasing us.

Blimy Gill we both had our prep courses at the same time and you are nearly finished your home study and ive not even started.  Never mind.  Lets hope she makes contact again today at work!!! Grrrrr!!!


----------



## superal

Hi Alex

That is annoying that they didn't leave a contact number, hopefully they will ring back when you are about, try not to worry, it will happen, it's just frustrating when your ready to go!

Congratulations on the weight loss, I to have lost 4lb this week , my first week of my diet and I'm well chuffed, I only want to loose a stone & half so and pleased to see it is working.

Going to the gym & no chocolate has helped me, what have you been doing to loose the weight?

Fantastic news Mandy about your adoption day, I hope it was a lovely day, I did want to post more on the day you posted your message but felt sad that Lou was stopping using the boards. (It feels brilliant doesn't it, knowing they are yours & no one else's!)

Jude -  CONGRATULATIONS to you to I hope the meet goes well and you have your bundle of joy home with you.  It will be magical.

Kylie - hope things are going well for you & you find out more very soon.

Karen - have been meaning to say I hope your Dad is on the road to recovery now, it will take time but hopefully things are a bit better for you & your family.

Hi to everyone else.

DD is off school today, had a bad night with her last night, she was screaming in pain, crying I can cope with, screaming with pain just wanted me to weep , she is alot better today, she is sat eating jelly at nearly 10am in the morning, what a bad mother I am but if it makes her fell better and puts a smile on her face then I'm happy!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## alex28

superal said:


> Hi Alex
> 
> Congratulations on the weight loss, I to have lost 4lb this week , my first week of my diet and I'm well chuffed, I only want to loose a stone & half so and pleased to see it is working.
> 
> Going to the gym & no chocolate has helped me, what have you been doing to loose the weight?
> 
> Love
> Andrea
> xx


not eating!!!   no really, no eating!! I am doing the Lighter Life diet so food replacements on a very low cal diet for 100 days. Lost 8lbs first week and am now 1/2 way thru second week with weigh in on monday. Am on the belly buddies thread charting my weight loss.

I WILL BE A NORMAL AND HEALTHY WEIGHT AND A YUMMY MUMMY

Hope DD is enjoying the jelly......mmm.....food.........!!!


----------



## lisaw36

Congratulations to Mandy & Jude ........... exciting times on this board. 

Kylie, good luck for tonight. 

Thanks for all of your responses to the IF day on the preparation course - I am sure we will be fine.  We dealt a bit with loss and grief on day 2 of the prep course this week - so we could learn empathy with the little ones that will come into our life.  I must admit I just stopped myself from crying a couple of times, one of the girls was not so strong and they almost made me start again.  

We dealt with the various types of abuse and also neglect, which I didn't appreciate was a bigger problem almost than abuse.    As Kylie said it was a very tough day and we all felt a bit down at the end. 

Kylie, we didn't go to the pub this week -'cos we were all so low at lunchtime and knew the topic for the afternoon session I thought a glass of wine might finish me off.    We are definitely going to go next week though.  

Our class have all bonded ........... I think we have formed attachments    

Looking forward to a happier class next Wednesday. 

Love to you all. 
Lisa
xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Mandy and Jude - congratulations to you both - great news.  

Alex - is lighter life expensive?  I half looked into it but they wouldn't tell me how much it cost as I had to speak to my local consultant so I didn't take it any further thinking it must be expensive then, if they wouldn't tell me.  Was I right?  Mind you the weight loss is fantastic.  Do you feel hungry?

Lisa - glad the prep course is going well.  Liked the "formed attachments"  

Andrea - sorry to hear that dd was so unwell last night.  My ds was very poorly last week with very bad cold/severe headache.  You feel so helpless and upset when they are so ill don't you.  Mind you they bounce back quickly thankfully.  My ds is back at school now and right as rain.

Jennifer


----------



## EML

Dear Girls
I'm bloomin' fuming! We had a chat with our LA during an open evening a couple of weeks ago and they asked us what we could offer. At the time we said that we were'nt that keen on adopting a child over 7, from an 'ethnic' background or with very special needs. Also, we do have limited experience with children. We have just received a letter saying that we would not be considered for a place on the Preparation Course because of our unwillingness to consider an older child and because of our inexperience.
How can you deal with these brick walls of SWs? Out of the dozen couples on the open evening, I just wonder how many they DID accept on their precious Prep Course?
Is is me? Or is this proving to be harder work than IVF!
Anyway... I just had to vent my spleen amongst people who know what it's like!!!
Love
EML


----------



## Lauren

Hi everyone,

EML, I can completely understand why you are so angry.  It does almost seem like they deliberately try to make it as hard as possible for us which seems utterly ridiculous when there are so many children who need good homes.  They should be doing everything they can to accomodate prospective adoptive parents and ease the journey.  All you did was speak honestly and now you are being punished for it.  Just another thought - have you consider overseas adoption?  Me and my dh are just about to start our hs for Guatemala adoption and we were completely honest with our social worker saying we were going abroad cos it was our only chance of a baby, having been told in no uncertain terms by our local authority that they had NO babies and if we did domestic adoption would have to take an older child with special needs.

Congratulations Mandy and Jude on your fantastic news.  How exciting for you both!

Alex - how frustrating for you that your social worker didn't leave a contact number.  I would have been going mad having waited for so long for her to call!  Hope she has managed to phone you back today on your work number this time!

Lisa - glad you getting through the prep course.  Your little note on attachment with the rest of your group made me laugh too!

Andrea - hope your DD is feeling better now. I'm sure the jelly did the trick!

My only news is that we were hoping to have heard from our SW this week to make our first homestudy appointment.  My lack of patience got the better of me when this morning we still hadn't heard from her so we called only to be told she has been off sick all week but will phone us on Monday.  Shouldn't complain but just home this is not a sign of things to come.

Hi to everyone else and hope you all have a lovely weekend.

Lauren xxx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Apparently the SW whose looking at our forms for a local child wants to see our photos, and will be making a decision on whether they will pursue thigns with us next week. Our SW says that its a good sign, but am trying not to get too carried away. I'm always one to spot omens (although they rarely pan out) but one thing about this child is his name. It's one we would have chosen ourselves. Almost all the others we've come acroos have been quite.......chav for want of a better word. That sounds really snobby I know, and I would never change their names no matter what they were, but this name sort of fits nicely. Am I being a silly?

EML, sorry to hear your meeting some frustrating road-blocks. It's common enough with the way resources are divvyied up in this country. I always advise people to be as open as possible to get you foot in the door. Then by the time you get to being specific about what children you could accept you'll have a good relationship with your SW and they'll will have a better understanding of where your coming from. I never had any IF treatment, just investigations, and am still waiting to be matched. But adoption isn't supposed to be an easy option as everyone on here has experienced. I hope you feel better soon. Maybe you could try another LA?

I'm glad mandy and jude shared good news this week or it would have been a real low one for everyone!
xxruth


----------



## alex28

Jennifer - i will pm you.

EML - so sorry you having obstacles put in your way.  We have been lucky i think and i really feel the government needs to set some standards for adoption that are across the board for each LA.  

Lauren - hope you get your phone call soon as well.  Mine still has not called!!

Ruthiebabe - wow!! im a great believer in fate and sometimes things happen for a reason like "his" name being one you would of picked!!  Good luck and keep us posted. xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Alex - thanks, I will look out for the pm then.

EML - how infuriating for you. It varies so much from LA to LA. We were encouraged to consider children over the age of 5 as we were told there are so many waiting to be adopted. We said we wanted a younger child than our natural child (age 3 at the time - now almost 5) which they accepted was the best thing for our son as he should stay as the eldest. Here is an excellent link that lists all the private adoption agencies and LAs that cover each area. Hope you find someone more suited to your needs and wishes. http://www.baaf.org.uk/agency_db/noflash_textonly/frameset_noflash.htm

All the best


----------



## superal

Just a quick up date, the jelly must have done the trick, DD is as bright as anything now! 

Alex - your guide to loosing weight made me laugh  No food - good advice but I think I'll skip that one and stick to no chocolate & going to the gym!

Hope everyone is OK...........oh & just to say I'm also a great believer in fate Ruth so potential match with DS & his name, sounds so promising, will look forward to hearing/reading more!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## lisaw36

Em, reading your own and Lou's posts made me realise how lucky we are with the LA (Kent).    I wish you were as lucky (starting out so not sure I will be saying this in 9 months time!!) as us.  

I notice that Jennifer sent some websites and I hope one of them will "fit" (sorry bad word but can't think of a better one) and have the necessary children.  Isn't it mad that we loving mummys all want a little one to care for and some LA's have plenty to share around and others have none.  It's not like (and I am thinking of myself here) I want there to be loads of children for them to pick one for us but the more there are, the more likely we are to be picked ..... sorry that must sound completely      The world is turned upside down  

On a brighter note glad to hear all our new babies although having a bit of a poorly time are getting better. 

Ruthiebabe ... I think I had given up on feelings, intuitions and superstitions after 3 loads of IVF but ...... maybe you can bring it all back to me.  prove to me it is right and I will start all over again.    

Anyway glad I made you all laugh with my attachment theory.  I had lunch with 2 (male) friends today and everything they said I could relate to my prep course - they must have been so fed up with me.  I am pretty sure they think I am  .  Anyway after 2 bottles of the old vino ..... they were coming round to my way of thinking (they both have 2 children, one of each) and were assessing each other and everyone around us.    Maybe I should train to become a social worker!! 

Lots of love to you all for the weekend.  And special   to those who need it ....... you know who you are and it is sent with lots of love. 

Lisa
xx


----------



## TraceyH

Hi All

Mandy and Jude congratulations on your news.

Alex - I know what you mean about the SW ringing and strange times, ours has rang at 11.20 am and 2pm and we both work full-time and she has my work number!  I have her work number so have called when she is in the office, in fact last time I left a message on her mobile, but it is frustrating at times.

It is interesting to read what different SWs are asking.  We didn't have to write any lengthy details about ourselves thankfully but it was all covered in our Home Study.  The only fairly time consuming bit was the Eco Map which I did on the computer and initially made it colourful which looked impressive but did not photocopy well, so I ended up changing it back into black and white.

We are still waiting for the phone call to say that they have matched us.  Although we only passed panel at the end of November, it seems an awful long time ago.  We are reluctant to book any holidays just in case.  I know you are not supposed to put your life on hold but it is very hard.  

Good luck to everyone.

Tracey x


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## KarenM

New home girls.......

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,47681.0.html

Good luck to you all

Karen x


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