# July /August 2015 Cycle Buddies -Part 3



## Sharry

A new thread for all you ladies having treatment in July / August 2015.

Please read the FAQ here: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=209838.0



Happy Chatting 



[csv=] 
Name , Treatment , Stimming , EC , ET , Test Date , Outcome
Clairex3 , ICSI , , 13th July , 18th July , 29th July , 
MrsRL , ICSI , 14th July , 27th July , , 13th Aug , 
Ldw1804 , ICSI , 18th July , 27th July , 31st July , 14th Aug , 
Little Miss Me , IVF , 13th July , 27th July , 30th July , 14th Aug , 
ILovewesties , FET , , , 4th Aug , 14th Aug , 
Sally1108 , IVF , 15th July , 31st July , , 15th Aug , 
Stini , ICSI, 31st July , 10th Aug , 15th Aug , 25th Aug , 
Rumplestlitskin , IVF , , 10th Aug , 15th Aug , 26th Aug , 
Catf2008 , ICSI , 28th July , 12th Aug , 14th Aug , 28th Aug , 
Hollywood130 , IVF , 24th July , 11th Aug , 14th Aug , 28th Aug , 
Ms Gnomer , IVF , , 12th Aug , 14th Aug , 28th Aug , 

ChrisKirsty , ICSI , 8th July , , , , 
Beccaboo , FET , , , , , 
Ed'sWife , ICSI , , 12th Aug , 14th Aug , , 
Ginger42 , IVF , 27th June , 13th July , , , 
Jessiewiltshire , IVF , , 22nd July , , , 
June2015 , IVF , 29th July , , , , 
Hopefulpolly, ICSI , , , , , 
Mrschef13 , IVF , 23rd July , 7th Aug , 9th Aug , , 
Snowy2015 , ICSI , 16th July , , , , 
Mercers, ICSI , , 12th Aug , , , 
PixieC , IVF , 23rd July , , , , 
Deeplydippy, IVF , 13th July , , , , 
nicevo80 , FET , , , , , 
Chavalar , ICSI , , , , , 
Holnshaun , IVF , 29th July , 12th Aug , , , 
Clairey Poppins , ICSI , 7th Aug , 18th Aug , , , 

[/csv]
​


 Honorary Members 

*If you want to be added please let me know *

Sharry xx

​


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## MrsLondon

Morning lovely ladies,

Oooooh we have a new thread so we're on part three now. We are a chatty bunch...so I'm sitting here in my pj's worrying that I'm going to get a call saying not to come. I've also got quite a bad sore throat and maybe feeling a bit coldy. Drinking honey and lemon warm water trying to decide whether I should take some meds? If I don't hear from anyone by 9 then we will leave to head into London....

Xx


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## Ms Gnomer

Good morning, *MrsLondon*! I'm sure it'll be fine. Just try to relax  Best of luck for getting your blastie back on board.

I've been awake since 04.30 and had to eat a banana at about 05.45... I was starving. I've been sleeping terribly, but the rumbling stomach definitely made matters worse! On a plus point, my house bunnies think I'm the best bunny-mummy ever, as they got woken up to nom some 'nana! 

*Sharry*, could you add me to the list, please? All info is in signature...EC 12th, ET 14th, OTD 28th!


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## MrsRL

Morning chatty ladies  on to part 3... 

*Sharry* - please can you update the front page, as I unfortunately got a bfn.

*MrsLondon* - wishing you good luck for today!! Hope you don't get a call and all is good with your lovely embies   Sorry to hear you feel like you're getting a cold, keep drinking the lemon water and plenty of water in general! Keep us updated x

*Kirsty* - it's good that your GP is doing all that for you. I don't think mine would, she was bad enough when I needed blood tests for my nhs cycle and kept moaning. I may need to re-do my hormone tests if moving clinics and I doubt she would do them! I'm still looking into local clinics, the main reason we're thinking of changing is because although my clinic was local it is also in with a clinic in London so it meant having to travel there as well. It should have only been for EC and ET but because the nurse was off (there's only one), it meant travelling to London more and it's not something we want to do really. I also wasn't keen on the London one as it's based in a normal hospital and the fertility part is in with other private patients. I had issues with communication between the two clinics and they seemed to be rivals against each other rather than working together! I also felt they overlooked some of my issues because of my DH having male factor. We have considered going to see Mr R in London but not sure if he could help or not, we may well go there if vitamins don't improve anything. I hope af shows up then so that you can move forward or if it doesn't, I hope it's for a good reason  were you tempted to test just in case? I hope you get some answers soon  when are you thinking of cycling again?

*Stini* - thanks so much for the information on male factor I will make a note of it all and look into it. DH's main issues are low count and poor morphology but hopefully vitamins and scrotal cooling pads (lol) could help. I've already spoken to DH about trying these things and he is willing to give it a go. The plan is to have a break for 3 months to do this then look at moving things forward again. NHS in Scotland sounds fairer, as it is different across the areas here. We only got one go on the nhs but the county up the road gets three. Hope you manage to get through the rest of the 2ww without symptom spotting too much 

*NotleyAbbey* - thank you for your lovely words  we took his and hers pregnacare conception too but it didn't seem to help DH much so looking at other vitamins now. Hope you're not going too crazy in the 2ww.

*Hollywood* - thanks for the tips, I will look into it  how are you coping in the 2ww now? I hope you're ok.

*MsGnomer* - you've been awake for a long time  your bunnies sounds sweet  hope your coping in the 2ww 

Hello to everyone else. Thinking of you all xx


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## MrsLondon

Lovely to hear from you MrsRL, you've been so strong throughout this process and amazing support to us all. Hope you're feeling ok today? 

Ms Gnomer wow you have been up for ages!! Hope you managed to get off to sleep in between those 'nanas  .

I'm going to attempt getting in the shower, at d3 I was in the shower when they rang to say that they were going to blast. That was at 8.45....arrrrggghhhh deep breaths 

Xx


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## MrsRL

Thank you *MrsLondon*, I'm ok today thanks, really don't want to go to work though lol. Take deep breaths, I'm wishing the time away for you so that you can leave for London having had no call  best of luck xx


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## Chriskirsty

Morning ladies 
Another new thread aren't we a chatty bunch 
I'm ready to leave for work 'I love over time 'said absolutely no one ever lol 

Mrs London try not to worry I'm sure your embies are doing fine, I was like u though really worried and to my surprise we got a frostie  no reason why this couldn't happen for you too old luck lovely 

Mrs rl I think they got the impression I wouldn't leave the room until she agreed lol I just hope they do them all... Ohh I can imagine that it's hard work, our clinic is Newcastle and thats hectic with it being a city, but London I don't think I'd cope in the traffic.. It's  strange them being rivals not the feeling you want whilst going through such a roller coaster journey.. I do feel like you to as ours is a male issue I'm over looked.. I worry there's something wrong with me to but they don't seem to take my fears on board so hopefully having these immune test and killer cells biopsy done it'll help me move forward either way, hopefully there's not and its been bad look, I just feel I can't risk my ice baby.. I'm not really tempted to test again a really think it's stress related and that's why I'm still feeling sore and bloated... I'm hoping to cycle nov/dec after all my test, what about your self?? I have Dr r and his pa email addresses we swapped emails before we went to visit him if thats any help to you I could pm you.., I hope you can get some vitamins to help do the trick.. I have my fx for you that your next cycle is success 

Stini Awww the dreaded symptom spotting I kept poking my boobs willing them to hurt they were bigger than my flat chest normally although this was just the pessaries.. I even joked to dh how I'd like to stay on them as you could finally tell a was a woman Haaa there's just no way of knowing and its torture.  
P.s I love mean girls it's my favourite 😂

Morning to you to Mrs gnomer  a hate sleepless nights.., I hope your doing ok in your 2ww

Love to the rest of you 
Kirsty 
Xxx


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## mrschef04

Good morning ladies, AF came this morning bang on 14 days after trigger. Is that too soon or is that correct? I thought it would be after EC. Pretty gutted right now. Cramping and quite a bit of brown blood came out. Just waiting for full flow now. Had my good cry getting ready for work. I knew it was low chance. Only one embryo and it wasn't a blast or anything. Just a little 2dt, but I still had a lot of hope. I still wanted it. Love to you all and will post more personals later xxxx


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## mrschef04

And I know my post sounds strong, but there are tears all over my phone as I write this.


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## Stini

Ooh, sparkly new thread. Checking this forum has overtaken my usual morning ritual of checking ******* (I had intended to start ever morning during the 2ww sipping a herbal tea in the garden while breathing in nature, but hey ho!)

*MrsRL*: Yeah, sorry for the crazy-lady essay. I did it on my phone while waiting for a train and I've just appreciated how long it is...  I think for low progesterone the only thing they can do is give you increased progesterone pessaries (I know in the States they do injections, but I'm not sure that's been passed here). I took royal jelly, Vital DHA, CoQ-10 and spirulina this time round to try and improve egg quality, too - looking at your numbers it looks like the sperm issue though (based on what we've been told over our past couple of rounds).Have you thought about going somewhere else for treatment? Clinics in Czech Republic and Athens tends to be WAY cheaper with better results, offers loads of specialist sperm services as part of the package, and you get a holiday while you're doing it. Have a hug to send you off to work. 

*Mrs London*, I've got these perky little guys out for you today.    Argh, all the awful waiting!

*Ms Gnomer*: Aw, house bunnies. I lived with one once (belonged to a flatmate): we basically thought of it as a slightly dopey cat. Can you grab a nap later if need be?
*
Kirsty* You're sounding good this morning, love! x

*Sharry*, can you update me too? ET was 15th, OTD 25th.


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## Stini

Oh Mrs Chef. I'm so, so sorry. Can you take the day off and do nothing? Trashy films, eat rubbish, have a glass of wine? I found just putting myself on pause like that helped.
So much love to you. 
xxxxxxx


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## mrschef04

Hey Stini, thanks hon. Nope, on my way in now.  I can handle work without crying and no one will know. Believe me, I've been through years of unhappiness since I was born, so hiding sadness is pretty easy for me. I'm just really sad. I prepared myself for this through the whole process. I never once got a smile or "looks good" so this was based on hope. Love you all to bits and I hope we get so many more BFPs on here. Don't worry I'm on here to root for you the whole way through darlings! xxxxx


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## Chriskirsty

Mrs chef I'm sorry to read your post, try not to write any thing off yet though lots of ladies get bleeds around the time normal ag would be due, and brown blood is old blood.. Is your otd today?? Have u done any tests?? Really praying it stops for you xx


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## Stini

Oh, bless you. I had to go and host a friend's book launch right as mine was happening; sometimes it helps to have something else to distract you. Make sure you take time to grieve, and even wallow a bit if you need to, and obviously we'll all be here for you if you need us.  It bears repeating, too: you have done everything so well. Perfectly. You did everything you could and you are absolutely not to blame for any of this. xxxx


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## MrsRL

So sorry to read your post Mrs Chef    as Kirsty said though, brown blood is old blood so might not mean the worst. Take care of yourself and take time to grieve   I hope it's not what you think. Xx

I'm at work so will catch up properly later ladies xx


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## Clairey poppins

Sharry, 

could you please add me to the front page. 

I'm having ICSI and I started stimms on 7/8/15. EC was 18/8/15.

Many thanks in advance

Claire. X


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## Melly2015

Hi Ladies,

*Mrschef*- so sorry you've got some bleeding- really really hoping for you that it's not anything to worry about, and it stops soon. Keeping my fingers crossed for you 

AFM, sorry for short post today, but as I suspected was a bfn  . Completely gutted- you put so so much into this process, spend so much time being positive and it still doesn't necessarily work. Texted my boss this morning, who luckily is being really good about this all- will head into work a few hours late after I've spoken to the clinic. Like you *Mrschef, *I've got used to having to put on a brave face in work- because I supervise others in a lab, I can't have them see me fall to pieces, so just have to get on with it unfortunately. Need to put my Plan B in place now (although considering how long we've been TTC, it feels like at least Plan D or E at this stage!) once I get over this initial grieving- which will start with going back to zumba classes on Monday!

Will continue to follow this thread and keep in touch- I have so many fingers and toes crossed for you all, and don't know how I'd have got through the past few days without you lovely ladies- you are fab....and someday hopefully we'll all get our precious bundles. For any of you who have unfortunately had bfn's too, hopefully will catch up with you on future threads and we'll get to celebrate our bfp's together...

Much love xxxxxxx


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## MrsRL

So sorry to hear your news Melly   This whole process is heartbreaking. Do take time to grieve and I'm glad to see you are already thinking of some positive next steps. I hope to see a bfp from you and all the other ladies with bad news soon. Take care xx


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## Rumplestiltskin

*MrsChef* I'm so sorry, sweetie. Have you POAS? It's hard not to think the worst, but, as Stini said, you've done everything you could. Everything. It's always a rollercoaster, but your cycle has been unimaginably tough, so you're doing amazingly to still be standing at all. You're one strong lady 

*Holnshaun* Congratulations on your ET! Welcome to PUPO-land!

*Hollywood* I'm like you, I literally can't think of anything else. Was wondering about testing early, and spent lots of yesterday looking at other people's photos of pee sticks at various days post 5dt...desperate or what??

*Melly* So sorry. Was really hoping there might have been a last minute glimmer of hope. Try and take as much time off as you can 

*Mrs London* Any news yet?

*Clairey poppins* congratulations on a successful EC, fingers crossed for more good news today  On the number of embies transferred question, I'm genuinely pretty persuaded by the one-at-a-time campaign, and I'd told my DH before we started all this that I could handle an unsuccessful cycle better than a still birth or other complication, but when it's come to it, our clinic has never actually given us a choice, they've just gone ahead and put 2 in every time. This has concerned me a bit, more from the immune point of view, as they've found immune issues with me, and if you have got immune issues, and they put 2 embies back, you can have a response to one of them that is then enough to destroy both. My clinic are pretty conservative on the immune front, so I haven't said this to them, as I think they wouldn't listen/would think I'm an insane worrier. I've joked with DH that this cycle could turn out to be quads - 2 blastocysts, embryo glue, which increases the chance of non-identical twins, and assisted hatching, which increases the chance of identical twins ;p But, tbh, I'll be pretty shocked to get a bfp at all...

I know I've missed people, but I'm thinking of all of you, *MrsRL, Notley Abbey, ChrisKirsty, HopefulPolly, Stini* and anyone else I've missed! 

AFM, only one more week of the 2ww...going pretty crazy, and not really allowing myself to imagine it's worked.


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## Rumplestiltskin

In honour of the fact that we've gone onto a third thread, I'm going to take the plunge and ask *Sharry* to add me to the front page, please?

I'm having ICSI, EC was 10/8/15, ET 15/8/15, OTD is 26/8/15

This is my third cycle buddy thread, and I've never been brave enough to join the front page...


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## mrschef04

*Melly* I'm so sorry hon. We're all here for you if you need it.

*chriskirsty* No, I haven't tested yet. OTD is on Sunday. I cleaned out a lot of brown and pink stuff (sorry tmi). Still did my crinone and meds, just in case there is a small chance. Implantation would have finished by Monday with a 2dt. I'm having all the signs of my AF that I normally would and my bloating went completely down, including my big boobs (which aren't sore anymore), so it's kind of the last leg. I'll still wait until Sunday, test and then I'll have my drinks and my ***, as I don't want to hurt it, if it's still there, but I'm definitely not holding out hope.


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## MrsLondon

Just got on the train, MrsChef I am so sorry but like the others said unless it's full flow red or a BFN you've stil got a chance. It does happen chicken xxx

Melly so sad to hear your news, I can only imagine how it feels. It's good that you don't have to go into work straight away. Thinking of you xxx

Rumplestiltskin the clinic didn't call so I am on route. Means we've definitely got something waiting, just don't know what yet.

I'll let you all know after the transfer, about to go underground. Appointment is at 11!!

Xxx


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## Stini

*Melly*:  So sorry, my love.

*Rumplestiltskin*: Don't test early! Stay strong! (Dammit, now you've got me wanting to...)

*MrsLondon*: Eee! Can't wait to hear the news.


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## Ms Gnomer

Oh *MrsChef*, I hope you're OK. 2dt have as much if not more chance of going to blast in your body, so hang on in there until OTD. I'm thinking of you. 

*Melly* I'm so sorry to hear your news.


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## Ldw1804

Morning ladies, thanks for all of your support

mrschef13 - I'm so sorry, I hope it isn't what you think. I will be thinking of you today. 

Melly - So sorry to hear your news 

MrsLondon - Good luck for today.

Chavalar - Thank you, the appointment is with the consultant. I was given an appointment for 5 weeks time as it is the end of my NHS cycle and that is the the current wait time, but I just couldn't wait that long. So I checked and I could see the same consultant privately 10days after OTD. I just want to start the 2nd cycle asap.

MrsRL - I think our circumstances are very similar. When I have had my review app I will let you know what they have said, the more info the better in my mind. I am intending to give the consultant a grilling. There is a really useful list of questions on the negative/inbetween cycle forum which I'm going to use http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=261901.0 

NotleyAbbey - thank you for your kind words.

For everyone in the 2ww, hang in their ladies, I'm keeping everything crossed for you. Hello to everyone else.

Afm, I'm feeling a lot better today and just focusing on next steps.

xxx


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## Nibo

Mrschef, sorry to hear your news, just want to say there could still be hope as I had the same couple days before my OTD. I know our bodies are all different but I too had a lot of brown/pink discharge, no bleeding. I also had the sore boobs then it just seemed to disappear, got all the cramps and feelings that it was all over. I then went on to get a BFP so fingers crossed for you.   xx


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## hollywood130

Onto another thread already!

Just looking at page one, *MrsGnomer*, we are on the same daes, same EC, ET & OTD! Exciting. 

*MrsLondon*, Good luck with ET, you'll be pupo in no time!.

Oh no, *MrsRL*, I'm so sorry, so devastating to get a bfn,  I do hope you are doing ok, hope you can have a relaxing day today and be kind to yourself xx I'm doing ok, embies should be starting to implant today so I really hope they are getting cozy.

Aw *MrsChef*, my heart is broke for you, I am so sorry to hear of your news, I had a good feeling for you, I'm so sorry, there are no words to say to help you but know that we are all here for you and we are thinking of you xxx 

*Melly*, I am so sorry to hear of your news also, thinking of you, hope you can be kind to yourself today and take some time out xx You are so good to stay on and see the rest of us through xx take as much time as you need to process this 

*Rumplestiltskin*, I've been burned so many times before with testing that I am way to scared to do it early, I'm scared to do it at all!! I'm going to be testing the day after my OTD too because of a friends wedding, that day will be torture but I hope the wedding takes my mind off it, really hope AF doesn't show up before then, OR at all.

Glad to hear you are feeling better *Ldw*

Congrats on your BFP *Nibo*

AFM: 5dp3dt so my embies should be starting to implant now. Woke up this morning feeling very out of it, so tired, could have slept another hour and I was completely sweating, took me an hour to cool down. For the past 3 mornings at exactly 11:40 I've been feeling really sick and nauseous the past 2 days it lasted until lunchtime but today only 20 minutes. My boobs and nipples are still sore, had some cramps this morning that felt like AF cramps, hated getting them, was knicker spotting already because you never know, so far nothing though. OTD is in 9 days, at least I'm in single digits (ladies I'm cheating myself here, I'll be testing in 10 days but it's easier to just focus on the OTD!). Still bloated also.


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## HopefulPolly

Sorry ladies to read about the bfn's   Take it easy on yourselves.  

I got the call this morning that 10 out of my 12 have fertilised. They are going to use time lapse videos on them and call me tomorrow with another update on the quality of the embies. I go back 2:30pm tomorrow for my transfer. So nervous. Feel all the hurdles are nearly done with and now the dreaded 2ww will shortly be upon us. 

Feel very sore from EC still. Didn't know what to expect and yesterday evening was horrible! Trying to rest and keep my fluids up. xx


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## Rumplestiltskin

10 out of 12 is brilliant, HopefulPolly! Great news! Hope you start feeling better, soon, too. 

I'm quite surprised they've already decided to do a 2 day transfer, when you've got so many embies? Did they explain why they're taking this approach? Do they transfer everyone at day 2? Sorry to be all 20 questions, I'm just used to my clinic, where they look every day to check on the embies, and decide day to day when to transfer depending on how many embies there are and how good they are. I'm sure they've got their reasons, I'm just being super nosey! 

Congrats, Nibo!


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## MrsLondon

Hi everyone will do personals later as just rushing of to acupunture, just wanted to let you know that it went fine at the clinic, all four made it to blast!!! I couldn't believe it. So we had two put back in and two for the freezer. I'm very pleased obviously but also feeling really guilty too esp with all the recent bad news on this thread  catch up properly later. Lots of love and hugs xxx


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## Catf2008

Just a quick one ladies

Mrs chef - it ain't over till the fat lady sings, please please please hold onto hope, this does happen and when I told barts on my last cycle they told me not to worry as can happen a few days after implantation, so please hold out till otd


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## mrschef04

Thanks guys.  I've had a few teary eyed moments.  Made me realise how much I wanted this for the first time.  I realised how much it was all worth it in the end.  Nothing much to say.  I haven't had a lot crinone come out in the last 11 days, so it's coming out in clumps with a rusty or brown colour, but not heavy bleeding yet.  Just spotting so far.  Have a pad on, so just spotting.  It will depend on tomorrow and the next day, whether it goes full flow.

I'm going to do personals when I get home, otherwise I know I'll start crying at my desk, which would make a pretty big scene in an open plan office.  Tonight DH is working late, so I'm going to curl up at home, watch my cheesy films and as silly as it sounds, be with my little embryo for tonight at least. xx


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## Katfish

MrsChef really sorry to hear that you have started spotting! Fingers crossed it does turn into AF! Wishing you all the best for Sunday!

Melly really sorry to hear about your BFN! You must be absolutely gutted! Hugs to you!

MrsLondon congrats on your two on board and two frosties! Good luck in your 2WW! I hope it's kind to you!

AFM - going back to work tonight just for one shift I'm really dreading it! I'm exhausted too! Takes me forever to get to sleep at night even though I'm exhausted and could easily fall asleep downstairs at 7pm then really struggle to wake up in the mornings! Woke up at 8 ish this am had a wee then slept on and off till 1.30! And I still feel exhausted! This process is so emotionally draining!


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## Katfish

pinched your link too LDW for my follow up next week!


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## Filipa :)

Good afternoon Everyone,

Just found this site and decided to join for some support and guidance.
I am going through ICSI for the first time, had the baseline scan yesterday and they found 12 follicles on each side (not sure if this is good or bad) so started Merional injection last night. I felt really dizzy and sick straight after but I think this was from being so nervous whilst I was doing it. But it wasn't as bad as I though... second one tonight should be much easier! 

Its so good to be able to actually talk to someone about it as myself and husband decided not to tell anyone...maybe not wise! Puts more and more pressure on us as everyone is expecting us to have babies by now.

Its emotionally draining but hopefully the end result will be worth it!


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## Ldw1804

*Katfish* - I hope its useful, let me know how the follow up goes. Good luck for tonight 

*MrsLondon* - that is wonderful news and definitely don't feel guilty, we are due some good news on here!

*HopefulPolly* - so please for you. Good luck for the call tomorrow and your transfer.

*Filipaornelas16* - welcome and good luck. 12 follicles on each side is really good and congrats on getting that first injection out of the way with.  I wonder if you would also do well to be on the August/September board, to maximise the number of people who are at the same point in the treatment as you. I found it a great help to chat with the ladies who were at the same point as me. This site is really great and ladies are wonderful. Sending positive thoughts your way.

*hollywood130* - hang in there, keeping everything crossed.

xxx


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## hollywood130

*Hopefulpolly*, 10 fertilised is an amazing rate, that is great news, congrats to you, good luck with the call tomorrow. Your going for a Day 2 transfer yes?

Huge congrats *MrsLondon*, that is amazing news, you'll have some frosties!

*Catf *and *MrsGnomer*, how are you both feeling today?

Praying it stays as only spotting *MrsChef* or goes away all together, it's not over yet.

*Katfish*, it really is emotionally draining, you really need a goods nights sleep, have you tried Camomile tea? Helped me a while back when I have having trouble sleeping.

Hello & Welcome *Filipaornelas*, good luck with your cycle.

So ladies, I'm having period type cramps today and I absolutely hate the feeling, it's making me a little negative today&#8230; Have any of you experienced these 5dt3dt or similar?


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## Ldw1804

*hollywood130* - please don't feel negative about the cramps, from my own research I know a lot of ladies have these and it does not mean anything bad. It is usually a side effect of the progesterone (whether you are taking pessaries or injections). On the 2ww boards most of the ladies experienced these cramps (include those who ultimately got a BFP).


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## Chavalar

Mrschef - have you called your clinic? It might not be game over yet. Many ladies spot during their 2ww and still get  bfp.

Stini - loving the MFI information. We have the same problem. My DH won't be told though!!! He did try taking FertileAid but his count was worse after 6 months of taking it. Last year it was 23mil and this year it's been 4mil and 13mil. Not sure what's going on there. I think if I mentioned ball cooling he would just look at me gone out.

HopefulPolly - congratulations, that's a great  number. Fingers crossed they'll keep going strong over the next 5 days. 

Welcome Filipaornelas16. 

Melly - sorry to hear about your negative result, take care of yourself. 

Hollywood - how are you feeling? I hope you're keeping yourself occupied during this 2ww hell. I have also been having cramps. I rang my clinic and it's normal. I have a friend who's pregnant through ivf and she's been cramping throughout her pregnancy. Honestly don't worry.

MrsLondon - brilliant news. You're really lucky you have 4 blastocysts. 

No news for me. Just counting down to OTD on Friday.


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## Rumplestiltskin

*Mrs London* That's AMAZING!!! You must be thrilled!!! Congratulations on being PUPO 

*Chavalar* I've just counted back, and wow, your clinic really make you wait to test! My clinic does 16 days from EC, and that's nearly killing me! You are so patient, well done!

AFM, I've distracted myself by buying a lovely expensive new bra, which will be totally useless if this all works! Not sure if that's passive aggressive or not? 

Symptom-wise, I'm mostly just getting intense afternoon tiredness, although this morning I felt really nauseous mid morning. Could've just been hunger, though - I'm eating for Britain at the moment. Blaming it on the stress.


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## Stini

Oh, *MrsLondon*! That's brilliant news - you must be delighted! xxx


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## Catf2008

Hollywood - not been feeling that great very tired for
some reason & keep getting pains in my right hand side, can't believe I'm only 5dp2dt feels like it's been 2 weeks already, the 28th needs to hurry up. On a side note I'm looking forward to the lady in my office going on maternity leave Friday as it's a constant reminder that I should of been due in a few weeks.


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## cinnamon75

Hi cycle buddies... old and new! I can't apologise enough for being AWOL since 1dp2dpt and it's been so long, that OTD is tomorrow. It's suddenly upon me and I'm petrified, in fact I don't want to test tomorrow! I have been trying to follow everyone's news over the past fortnight and have been egging you all on silently.

MrsChef, I'm sorry to hear you've had some bleeding and I hope AF stays away. You've overcome so many obstacles this cycle that I hope you carry on besting the odds and proving anything can happen with a positive attitude.   

Melly, I am so sorry to hear your news and I hope you treat yourself to some much needed R&R over the next few days.  

MrsGnomer, 4.30am!? You must be shattered!! I thought for a minute you were referring to your embies as house bunnies!  

Stini, how's the 2ww going for you? I'm loving your gifs - keep 'em coming! Can't wait to see what you might add on the 25th!  

Catf, ooooh those pains on your right side could be implantation related! It's about the right time so fingers crossed.  

Hollywood, those days around implantation are kind of exciting. It's a very special time imagining them snuggling in. Any spotting yet? I didn't have any to show implantation might have happened which made me wonder whether my little embies even developed to blasts let alone implanted, but I guess I'll find out for sure tomorow!  

MrsLondon, amazing news having two blasts and two frosties too. They must be fantastic quality and we need good news on here! Enjoy your acupuncture and congrats on being PUPO!    

MrsRL, I think Stini mentioned Czech clinics to you. I'm doing my second cycle in Prague and have my first consultation via Skype next Tuesday! Pretty nervous but excited to be able to start moving forward if we get a BFN tomorrow. Would you consider going abroad do you think? 

Katfish, enjoy Cardiff this weekend. Is it a special occasion or just a well deserved break? I'm originally from near Cardiff and will be back on bank holiday weekend. I love the city it's such a great place to shop, relax and have fun.  

Rumplestiltskin, you've inspired me to also ask Sharry to add me to the front page. EC 04/08 ET 06/08 and OTD 20/08 (eek) 

Filipaornelas, welcome! Fab news on your 24 follies that's an outstanding number!  

Ldw, what a clever idea asking for an earlier private appointment!   I'm the same I want to just keep moving forward and my consultation for my next cycle with my next clinic will be less than a week after my OTD tomorrow. I put myself on the waiting list back in May but I wasn't expecting it to be this tight. 

HopefulPolly, 10 out of 12 is a great fertilisation rate you must be so pleased!!     Like Rumplestiltskin, I'm also a bit nosey and wondering why they are going for a 2 day transfer rather than 5?

Hi Kirsty, Nibo, Chavalar, I hope you ladies are all well.   

AFM, no news really except OTD is tomorrow. I've been having AF pains for a few days now so just seeing which comes first! Anyone else been counting magpies throughout their 2ww!?


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## MrsLondon

Hello my lovely ladies, I'm back from acupuncture and ready to do those personals. Will be able to fill you in more about my ET too.

*Rumplestiltskin* - Thank you!! I am thrilled at the moment but very tired due to lack of sleep over the last few days due to worry and having this sore throat and achy legs . Just need a proper rest now. Oooooh nice news about the bra. I treated myself to some wheatgrass from holland and barrett today. Not half as exciting but our IVF has really broken the bank. Have to put freezing costs on the credit card and pay it off over the year. Your symptoms sound pretty positive. Can't remember when you OTD is?

*MrsChef* - Hope you're feeling slightly better and no red flow as appeared. Just keep repeating what everyone has said chick. We're all routing for you and your miracle. 

*Katfish* - I hear you re emotionally draining, it really really is. Hope work goes ok tonight, thinking of you. 

* Filipaornelas16* - Welcome to the group. 12 follies is excellent, really great so be happy!! It's a real journey this whole process but having people you can talk to makes it a lot easier. Even if they are virtual like us 

*Ldw1804* - Thank you, glad you're feeling better today. 

*hollywood130 * - Don't feel down chicka, the cramps could be positive signs of implantation. According to my clinic my OTD is the 28th, as that's two weeks after EC but I think that's a bit early?

*Chavalar *- Two more sleeps!! You're doing great 

*Stini *- How's you today? Any advice of what to eat during this period? Have you stopped the coQ10 now? Is the ZIta West download worth it? I would only need it for the post transfer one but would need to buy the whole album as you cant get individual tracks. What do you think?

*HopefulPolly* - How come you're going back for your transfer so soon? With those numbers it's strange that they aren't taking you to 3day at the earliest and hopefully blast. Is that all they offer? Even if you're NHS you can pay extra to go to blast in some clinics and others offer it as standard.

*MrsRL *- Hope work has been ok for you today?

*ChrisKirsty *- How are you today babe? Your good feelings were right about me (thankfully and thank you)  We have frosties  

*ClaireyPoppins *- Any news?? just remember your money, your choice. The consultant that did my ET today wasn't happy that I asked for two to be put back and we had to sign some form saying the we understood the risks etc. DH was umming and ahhhing asking me if I was sure in front of the consultant and she even got funny with me about it but I was adamant. I want the best chance possible and I'm not phased if I end up having twins, she was like "Please I hope it's not triplets" as she put them in but I didn't care.

*Cinnamon* - Why hello you!!!! OTD tomorrow, fingers crossed lovely   

*Catf2008 *- Rest up lovely, I would be the same re your colleague. Side pains could be wind??

Wow it's taken me AGES to reply, I was going to give you more detail about my ET but all typed out now lol. I did get a cute picture of my embies but can you believe they didn't give me a test!! I'll either have to buy my own or go there for a blood test which I'd have to pay for and they don't give you the results until THE NEXT DAY!!! I'm sure I read that right. A top clinic in London where you pay arm and leg for your treatment and they dont have the decency to give you a test! . Also the consultant was very moody with me when I said I wanted two put back. She even said sarcastically almost when she put them back in that she hopes I don't have triplets! She was SO nice until then. DH was almost guilt tripped into agreeing with her.
I'm still feeling a bit rotten  need to load up on vit C and fluids.

Love and baby dust  xxx


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## Stini

*Mrs London*: Ha! I'm grand, crampy, knackered - I'm just concerned my boobs aren't sore enough. I'm forcing myself to try and eat healthily but not doing so well. Right now I really want fish and chips, and maybe melted cheese on something, but will actually be having grilled chicken and pak choi, and will be in a bad mood about it. 
With your bold - you've deleted a square bracket ] after the [/b after Hollywood's name - just pop it back in on the edit.

They must have been excellent blasties for the consultant to worry about them, love - no need for her to be so rude, though! Do you know, I wonder if that's the same test I'm getting. We have to go in for a blood test too, and I was assuming we'd find out right there and then. Hm. When is everyone who's still got OTD to come planning to pee on a stick?

*Cinnamon* - lovely to hear from you! Drumroll for tomorrow:    Well done on staying away and sane during 2ww, you eminently sensible woman. I will plan extra special gifs now I know someone besides my best pal from school is actually reading. I am being plagued by single magpies - two whilst in taxis on ET day, one from my window earlier. I'm remembering to bow my head and say "Hello Mr Magpie, and how is your wife," each time, because I am a thirty-four year old adult woman, manager and homeowner who can still be made creakily superstitious by the appearance of a very common bird.

*Catf2008 *  Know where you are. I would have been due last Friday. At least there's all this to distract us.

Ooh, and *Filipaornelas16* - hello! I would probably second whoever said you might get on better in the August/September cycle buddies group, just because we're all more or less at the end of our cycles now. Don't get me wrong - we're a fierce and great bunch of ladies and if you want support WE WILL SUPPORT YOU, but there's been something really special about doing this cycle at the same time as other people, and feeling like you're all working together on it - I bet you'll find loads more people at the same stage as you over there.


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## Chriskirsty

Ldw glad your feeling better  we will gain our strength from these bfns and turn it into more fight to face our next steps  
Hopeful prolly  wow thats great  news 10 fertilised i was going to ask the same questions.. Good luck for et tomorrow 

Cinnamon hellooooo I've missed you can't believe it's your otd tomorrow.. How have you found your 2ww?  I've got everything crossed for you lovely.. 

Mrs London   whoooo hooooo  I new you'd get good news.. I had a feeling, hmmm maybe I could take up fortune telling ha  so very happy for you,amazing news been trying to reply all day but I've been so busy at work.. Never ever feel quilty because some of us have had bad news, u desereve this, I've rooted for you all as much as I did myself.. I'm keeping everything crossed for you.. 

Rumplestiltskin that's all sounding postive  
Cat f hope you doing ok, I hope it doesn't drag to much for you  

Awww some exciting news on here today.. 

Afm- had pains all morning in my tummy my ovaries are still so sore, it's been 2ww since my bfn and I've only had a day and a half light bleed,dh has insisted we go back to the clinic tomorrow afternoon to get checked over, I hope they can give me something so I can have my af, I feel a fat spotty mess,,, ohhh the joys of this horrible journey..., but on a more positive note I'm off to have my immune tests tomorrow morning  
I may have been beat this time but I'll never stop trying to win the battle   
XXXX


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## Clairey poppins

Hi ladies,

Well we had the dreaded   This morning from the embryologist to say that 5 had fertilised!        We are sooooo pleased    I know it's not as many as some other ladies but we are delighted! They collected 6 eggs yesterday and she also told me that ALL 6 of them were mature. We are just hoping and   That our little embies continue to do well and we don't loose anymore in the next few days. They are hoping to take them to blastacist and put them back as late as possible on Saturday, so are calling Friday morning with a cell count, egg gradings. Is it normal not to hear from them everyday? I'm so nervous of loosing more over night I think I'll be pacing the floor by Friday morning. Lol. I seem a bit snappy, feed up and tired today. I'm not sure if it because I hardly slept last night or if it's the meds? I've been up since 2:30am! Think it's probably a mixture of both. 

I'd typed a massive post then my iPad battery went so I lost it all. I'll do personals a it later on please forgive me for the me post but just wanted to update some ladies that were asking if I had any news.


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## hollywood130

Catf, aw that is awful, glad for you she is off soon, don't know how you coped with that

Clairey that is great news, huge congrats to you, can't believe you're up since 2:30, wow, I'm all about the sleep these days so very tired.

God today is weird lots of AF type pains and my back is really sore, this is typical AF symptoms for me, really hope it doesn't show up 😢


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## mrschef04

Evening Ladies,

*MrsRL* - lovely to hear from you again! Thank you for your kind words. I hope so too.

*Melly2015* - Thank you for your words. I'm so sorry about the BFN today. I know I would be so gutted. Let us know what you're going to do next, when you can and keep in touch. We're always here if you need us. I'm going back to popping and locking classes next week, so I know exactly what you mean!

*Rumplestiltskin *- that's great that you have one more week left. It's funny. I felt frustrated about it ending, but then today happened and I just didn't want to get out of my pupo bubble. I've been eating for Britain and Ireland! I definitely blame it on the stress!

*Cinnamon75* - Wow! Good luck for OTD tomorrow! It was good that you stayed away and kept yourself busy!

*MrsLondon* - Thanks honey. So pleased all four made it to blast! You can't feel guilty sweetie. We're here through everything and the point of this forum is you can say what you want, be yourself (even if we're overemotional or nuts about something) and everyone is here to support you and cheer you on, whatever the outcome! I'm glad you put two back. Just give it a great chance!

*Catf2008 *- I will honey. I'm holding off. It just was a little sad.

*Ms Gnomer *- thank you for your kind words.

*Ldw1804 *- I hope you are keeping well. Keep focused on next steps. I think that's the hard thing about all of this. You want to give up, but you know you have to keep going a little bit. Glad you are feeling better and keep on doing your plans. It will keep you going.

*Nibo *- Thank you so much. That gives me a bit of hope. I really do hope it is just that.

*Hollywood130 *- that's great with your 2ww and in single digits. Keep pressing on honey! All the symptoms look good for you! I know. I'm just waiting again and seeing what happens.

*HopefulPolly* - 10 embies fertilised! That's great news! Wow!!

*Katfish* - thank you for your message. How are you doing?
*
Filipaornelas16* - Welcome to the forum! You can't find a better group to be so supportive and kind!

*Stini *- That's funny. I'm eating the healthy stuff (i.e. 10 fruit and veg a day) and then the crap too. Lol.

*Chavalar *- yes, they said just to keep on going and test still. So that's what I'm going to do. That's exciting that you have OTD on Friday. Are you nervous?

*Clairey poppins* - wow that's great that five have fertilised! Congratulations honey!

*AFM* I spent much of today at work trying not to cry and going to the loo to check things. My spotting has died down by end of today. None of it was enough to soak a pad or need one or a pantyliner. I think it looked worse as no crinone has come out for about 11 days now and all of a sudden a lot came out. It's brown with rusty, dark red. Some small streaks of red, but it's slowed/stopped. The big test will be tomorrow, as my AF sometimes reacts like that where it starts slow and then comes with a vengeance. The only thing I can do is wait, go to sleep and then see what happens. Just pretending to spend one last night with my "little little one" with my feet propped up and watch a girly film. It did make me realise how much I wanted this now. I just feel sad. Like I'm saying goodbye to something that is just a bunch of cells, but it actually feels incredibly precious to me right now. I at least have one more night in my little pupo bubble in my cozy home. I called the clinic and they said to keep taking everything and test on Sunday. So four more sleeps for me before my OTD.

Love and lots of big hugs to all you!!! xx


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## HopefulPolly

Just replying from my phone quick.. I don't really know why they are doing transfer tomorrow?? It's not been mentioned and I've not questioned. I'm not NHS either. Will ask tomorrow why I'm having it then. Is it preferable to leave it till later then?


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## Stini

*MrsChef*, is there any chance it could be implantation bleed? With my BFP I had pinkish brown spotting two days after implantation, and you said implantation would have been Monday. You know your body, though. Anyway, have such a good night with your little little one, darling. So much love for you - crying a wee bit here.  xxxx


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## MrsLondon

HopefullyPolly - Yes!!!!! As you've got loads to choose from the longer you wait, the more they can tell about the quality of the embryo. Day two the embryos have two cells, day three between 7-10 is normal and then day 5 they should be blastocysts. Not every day two embie will make it to day five so waiting is preferred.

MrsChef - so glad to hear the spotting has stopped, keeping everything crossed for you. Xx

Hollywood -   

Xx


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## Stini

*Hopeful Polly* - seconded. Very weird that they're making you do 2dt with so much choice. As it's a private cycle, I think you can probably demand that they go to blastocyst.


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## HopefulPolly

How strange..! Glad I've posted as I will definitely ask them. They are due to call me in the morning before I go in the afternoon so I will question what are their reasonings. They are using time lapse video on them- is that normal? X


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## Stini

*Hopeful Polly*: My clinic offered something called EEVA, which is a bit like time lapse video, and which meant they would only have gone on for three days rather than five, so maybe that's it?


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## Chriskirsty

Hopeful polly yes time lapsing is normal I agree what the girls said but maybe your clinic only do transfers on certain days ours used to always be a three day regardless of how many because they only did them Thursday's all tough they now do day 5 xxx


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## hollywood130

Really keeping everything crossed for you MrsChef, hoping you wake up to nothung tomorrow, the spotting could be nothing, at least full flow hasn't started, you are most definitely not out yet, thinking of you

Hopefulpolly, I always say the clinic are the experts so maybe there is a reason they're doing a 2day transfer, ask them maybe tomorrow and see what their response is.  My clinic phoned me everyday to let me know how they were doing and them when to transfer, maybe they just preschedule incase you will be having ET, they could take it further when they call you first


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## Stini

How's everyone doing this evening? 

After all my fine chatter about healthy eating, I went on a mad rampage round the kitchen. I ate two chocolate biscuits and a pack of mini cheddars in about twenty seconds (we never usually have snacks in the house because we're both trying to be healthy and we're both really bad for it, but his mum was visiting last weekend) like I was Cookie Monster and I'd been starved. 
I've been thinking about this, about the appetite for greasy, salty, bad food, and the exhaustion. The closest thing I can compare it to is a hangover, and I'm wondering if that's maybe what's going on - our bodies are basically in a state of hangover from all the drugs? Are any of you guys feeling similarly?  Now eating at least some of my chicken and green veg, just to make sure the good stuff gets in there too.


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## MrsLondon

Stini - My sister said that when she was PG her early symptoms were that she felt like she had a hangover every day. So hopefully that's a good sign!

Well my evening has been a bit crap, I've developed a cough so am worrying that coughing is going to stop my embies from implanting or developing because I'm basically shaking the crap out of them as they are in me (crazy I know but I can't help it). Then I just checked my subjects GCSE results online before results day tomorrow and they are SO bad. All of my students have been robbed. Now worrying about getting into trouble at work. Don't want to get stressed as this is the reason why I had IVF in the school holidays but it's not looking good  

Xx


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## Stini

My very talky nurse, as she was doing the transfer, told me specifically not to worry about coughing as it can't possibly shake them (unless you cough while they're being expelled from the catheter), so you're not to worry either. 

Who was asking me about Zita West, by the way? Was it you, MrsLondon? I wonder if I could lend you the file somehow? £11.99 seems a lot for a single iTunes track. You could probably recreate it yourself with a quiet room and some plinky plonky music: The jist of it is that she asks you to make a heart shape by resting your thumbs in your bellybutton  and allowing your fingers to touch below, and to concentrate all your positive energy in that area. She talks about the embryos as little seedlings putting down roots in your lining; she talks about "imagining that safe, tranquil, nurturing space you've created deep within you", and about how rich and nourishing your lining is. Then you ask them to stay with you and tell them how welcome they are.  Then she gets you to concentrate on certain acupressure points: top of the head (to imagine a warm orange light streaming through, filling you with energy and making you relaxed); in between thumb and forefinger (think of it as a point for completeness, wholeness and calm); and just above your ankles (a "holding point" with veins connecting straight to your uterus, for holding the embryos in place and making them feel safe). 
Lordy, I've listened to this so many times over the past year I was able to do that off by heart!

I know what you mean about work intruding. Hope you're okay  - just think about that gorgeous cargo you've got on board. xxx

Sorry I'm spamming the thread tonight ladies. My fella is out, and it's either this or obsessive googling.


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## Ms Gnomer

There's nothing wrong with a 2dt. If you have a runaway winner, it's as well for it to go back sooner than later (and in some ways better as your body's better than a Petri dish). I agree you should ask them to clarify their reasoning though. My less good embie made it to blast last time, but wasn't frozen as it wasn't perfect. My one I had put back seemed to have implanted, but then my body unfortunately fought against it. I'm pretty sure I'll always have 2dts!


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## mrschef04

Hey Stini, thank you for your optimism. I just have to wait it out I'm afraid. Still spotting, but only when I wipe, really. It will be what tomorrow brings me. Just a bit sad and worried. The NHS might cancel anything else because of my bad response, so this could be the full end of the road for me.  They said they wanted to see how I responded, so this is pretty bad. I've had a good cry all night, a nap and watched films. I am doing a lot of obsessive googling and it just points to how it goes tomorrow. Just waiting for DH to get home now. How are you holding up? I feel like a trash compactor too x


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## MrsLondon

Hey Stini - yes it was me re Zita West. Thank you for your reply. I'm not going to worry about work (try not to), this is WAY more important.


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## hollywood130

Think you've hit the nail on the head Stini, your are totally right, we are all hungover 😂 I'm made for cakes and sweet food at the moment, got lots of fruit & veg in today though

MrsLondon, once they are in they're in, they won't not implant just because you are coughing, you'll be fine, try to relax snd stay warm

I'm exhausted and still have pains in my tummy, having a cup of tea, a piece of chocolate and then I'm off to bed

Chat tomorrow lovely ladies xx


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## Ms Gnomer

Night night, lovely ladies! I'm shattered, so will reply tomorrow. Xx


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## Stini

*MrsChef*: Yeah. I've had that sort of evening. 

I don't think it can be a bad response if you got a viable embryo, surely? But ach, bu&&er the NHS if that's their attitude. You've been on such a huge journey and you've done so brilliantly, and if nothing else, you know you can create an embryo.
We're looking into clinics in mainland Europe (probably Greece or Czech Republic) for next post-frostie cycle**, because they offer loads more in the way of tests and solutions for tricky problems, for roughly £2000 plus flights and accomm. Money will be a bit tighter, but we'll just make that our holiday for next year. I understand the standard of fertility research is hugely advanced in those countries compared to the UK, and they might have better options for FSH too. Would you consider something like that? 
xxx

**yeah, on a downswing tonight. My breasts are a wee bit tender, but not sore enough for pregnancy based on last cycle.


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## Filipa :)

I would like to thank you all for you messages of support, it really does help talking to people about it, even virtual ones cinnamon75!!! lol
I will take your advise and join the other group as well August/September but i will pop back and check on all of you!!! wishing you all the best of luck


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## Katfish

LDW thanks will do!

Hollywood I don't drink tea or hot drinks in general I will just about drink Hot Chocolate but it's luke warm by the time I drink it! Haha! And has to be very milky!

Cinnamon good luck for your test later on today! I hope it goes well for you! It's a bit of both! It's our 1yr wedding Anniversary but also nice to have a break after everything! Looking forward to lots of Cocktails!

MrsLondon how rude of them! But glad they did listen to you! It's very odd what clinics do regarding tests! Some only do beta's, some don't do them at all (like mine), some give you a test (mine did) many don't and make you buy one! It's a joke really! What Clinic are you at?! Maybe it's because you got a nice deli sandwich rather than biscuits  

ChrisKirsty it's definitely a good decision that you do go for I our appointment tomorrow to make sure that everything is ok more than anything! Good luck!

MrsChef glad that it's still not come into AF hopefully it will not do!

AFM - well the night shift is in mid flow I'm managing ok feeling teary at times and getting even more annoyed with the parents who seem to not give a toss about their babies! When there's all of us who would give anything to be in their position! I've had to go and find a good one to have a cuddle with too! Might just take them home with me! Not in a blubbering mess yet but there still time for that! It's quite which helps too!


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## cinnamon75

Well that's put a spanner in the works because I have a thrill boat ride booked in Cardiff bay for my 40th birthday next weekend and we have planned cocktails for lunch! I just got a 1-2 weeks pregnant on my CB digital - feeling a bit numb if I'm honest. Sorry for the me post but thought it'd be good for you to know that a) I had a 2dt b) I was so stressed from being laid off c) I ate rubbish d) I totally over did it with housework and heavy shopping etc when my rellies were here, so please try not to feel guilty if you do any of the above as if it's going to work it will. 

I am now terrified of the weeks ahead and the next wait we have and can't get my head around it at all. I suppose I've only known for 5 minutes. I said to DP "oh well at least we know it can work" he laughed and said "it has worked!" Will post personals later today... For the rest of the day I have to pretend nothing's happened as DP's in work and mum is still here!!!! 

Hugs to you all


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## Chriskirsty

Cinnamon massive congrats on your bfp  so happy for you lovely xxx


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## Little Small

Thinking of you MrsChef xxxxxx good luck for this morning

Congratulations Cinnamon  I just booked our first scan.....am terrified.  Still have massive tummy. Actually look three months already even though its a small tiny blip. Ridiculously scary wonderful frightening and nerve wracking all this isn't it.... 

Much love to all.  Am still here.....just.....you know. Xxxxxxxxx


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## Catf2008

Cinnamon - huge congratulations on your BFP, so happy for you

Mrschef - how are you doing this morning?

Little Small - how are you?

Katfish - huge hugs to you hun 

Afm - woken up with a huge headache, had to sleep in my bra last night as the progesterone is playing havoc on my boobs they are so sore, I'm only 6dp2dt so to early to be anything else, suppose it doesn't help they are huge anyway (36GG). Right best get off to work


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## Bexter83

Hi, sorry I've lost the name but one if you were asking about the difference in different days embryos are transferred. There is no more chance or benefit by having them transferred in earlier than blast. If you collect low amount of numbers, it's likely to have an earlier transfer. The lister told me they would prefer if people would leave it to see if they make it to blast, as it provides more knowledge on the quality of them (if they are making it to that stage) which will also provide more knowledge that if always having good quality blasts transferred and no implantation happening, than could be down to no cells which can be tested and treated. The lister understood that lots of people have spent lots of money and time and emotions getting that far, so it's optional. It was the first time we tried to take ours to blast, which it didn't, therefor no transfer but I wish I were advised this on my previous cycles, as I would know whether mine have ever got that far and to know what to do next.


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## MrsRL

Morning ladies  Sorry I didn't get chance to catch up properly yesterday, it was a busy one at work and then was so tired last night.

*Cinnamon* - HUGE congratulations. So happy for you       

*Mrs London* - so happy for you as well, that's brilliant that you have some frosties too  There's no need to feel guilty, it's great news  I didn't get a test either, I thought it was the least they could have given me lol. That wasn't fair of the consultant to do that, not very professional! Sorry you're feeling rotten, have a rest now and try not to stress 

*Mrs Chef *- how are you today? Your bleed sounds completely different to mine and you're definitely not out yet. I hope it's not what you think. We know our bodies better than anyone though but I really hope it's good news. Sending you  anyway and hope you're ok.

*Kirsty* - it was strange them being rivals, I don't know if they were but the nurses definitely seemed to have little digs at each other! I hope you get on ok at the doctors today and it gives you some answers  I think it's a good idea to go to the clinic as well, just to rule anything out  Keep us updated! We're planning to cycle again next year now I think as I want to improve our vitamin intake for 3 months to see if it makes any difference, so we're probably looking at early next year because of Christmas etc. I also want to attend some open evenings etc. That would be good if you don't mind sharing Mr R's email etc, thank you 

*Stini* - thanks for the info, it really helps  Does a big drop off tend to indicate an issue with sperm rather than eggs? I will be asking the consultant these questions, but it's good to have some idea. I'm not sure if I would go abroad for treatment, I would have to look into it. I'm not good with flying so it would have to be somewhere I could get to without having to fly lol. How are you coping in the 2ww? I think you could be right about the hangover thing, in the 2ww I was really craving salty foods, mainly crisps and cake, chocolate etc. You might be on to something there 

*Melly* - hope you are ok today  We're here if you need us. x

*Rumplestiltskin* - sorry you are going crazy in the 2ww, have you got anything planned to take your mind off things?

*LDW *- nice to see you here  I would really appreciate that if you don't mind sharing what your consultant says, thank you  Thanks for the link as well, that looks really useful! I will definitely go in with a list of questions anyway! My consultant isn't much of a talker though so not sure what information we will get! We're not going until mid-late September as that was the earliest time we could get since he's having holiday etc. Glad to hear you are feeling better anyway and starting to focus on the next steps 

*Hollywood* - are you off work at the moment or not? Really hoping your symptoms are good signs  I have seen lots of ladies have similar and go on to get a bfp, so try not to worry x

*HopefulPolly* - 10 out of 12 is brilliant, you must be very pleased  Lots of ladies seem to have had success from 2dt and your clinic must have a reason for doing so  Hopefully you get some answers 

*Katfish* - I hope work went ok. I'm the same and have had trouble sleeping, I seem to be able to get to sleep but then wake up in the night! I'm still using my relaxation cd that I used while doing the IVF as it helps me sleep and nothing else seems to.

Hello and welcome *Filipaornelas16*  I think other people suggested the August/September thread, but you're welcome in here anytime too  12 follicles on each is side is really good 

*Chavalar* - test day will be here before you know it, wishing you the best of luck  

*Catf* - sorry you're not feeling great  that must have been very hard with your colleague too, it will be better for you when she goes on maternity leave.

*Claireypoppins* - 5 embies is great, you must be very pleased  Every clinic is different and mine phoned the day after EC and then not again until day 3.

*Little Small* - good luck for your scan, so exciting 

*Hello Bexter *- hope you are ok 

Hello to everyone else, sorry I can't do personals for all but this has taken me ages and I must get ready for work. Can't believe OTD was a week ago! Definitely feeling better today than I was this time last week! Thinking of you all and sending  to anyone that needs them xx


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## Dotty80

Just a quick one as I'm at work, but congratulations cinnamon!! 
Xx


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## mrschef04

Cinnamon- congratulations on your BFP! That gives me hope!

My wonderful darlings, my AF arrived with a vengeance this morning.. I'm sad, but I know we will try again!


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## MrsRL

So sorry MrsChef, was really hoping it wasn't that xx Take care of yourself, don't go to work if you can't face it. Always here if you want a chat Xx


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## MrsLondon

Cinnamon - I am SO SO happy for you. We deserved some good news on here xxx

MrsChef - so sorry lovely, I can only imagine how you must feel. You've got your plan in place and are really strong so don't loose hope. It will happen!!!!!

AFM - will do more personals later, have woken up feeling really unwell (does anyone know what I could take for a cough/cold? Worried about my immune system attacking my embies,) and now getting ready to go to work and face the music about the GSCE results. My poor students..."I will not get stressed" "I will not get stressed". Back later, love to you all xxx


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## Catf2008

Mrs chef I'm so sorry, sending you huge hugs xxx


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## Chavalar

Morning Ladies,

Cinnamon - Good luck today with your test. I have my fingers crossed for you. Ooooooh just read you have a BFP congratulations!!!!!  

Rumplestiltskin - Yes, Leeds make you wait 13 days. It's been a killer. 

Mrschef - I'm really sorry to hear your news.

MrsLondon - that's great you have some to freeze, you're very lucky.

MrsRL - I'm going insane. I've been so sure my AF was going to come but it's holding off. 

Catf2008 - I have also been sleeping in my bra haha. The progesterone really makes your boobs sore doesn't it.

One more sleep for me. I'm still not convinced this has worked for us. 

xx


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## Chriskirsty

So sorry Mrs chef sending you hugs and the strength.,  

Mrs rl I will pm you lovely with his details  

Chavalar good luck for tomorrow  fx for you  

I'll doore personals later I'm off to the doctors for my immune testing  xx


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## Katfish

Congratulations Cinnamon on your BFP!! Enjoys and best of luck for your scan!

mrsChef oh no I'm so so sorry to hear that your AF has arrived! I hope that you can take it easy today and hopefully managed to get the day off work!

aFM - night shift is finally over thank god! And huge moth in Car driving home definitely kept me awake although more attention payed on the moth rather than driving! Been so gassy too! My husband decided to take my car to work as the engine was warm but had to inform him it might smell a bit in there! Haha! I hope this stop soon! It's awful!


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## Rumplestiltskin

Wow, really busy here last night! 

Congratulations, Cinnamon!!! Wonderful news!!!

Little Small, you must be so excited about your scan 

Mrs Chef - so sorry. Are you able to take some time off? You really deserve some you time.  

Katfish - I think at the moment, every day is an achievement, so bravo on making it through the night shift. I know what you mean about getting angry at people - I work next door to a maternity unit, and some days it's a physical effort to not yell at the pregnant women smoking outside the door. It's all just so unfair. 

Stini - yes, I'm like that, just gobbling anything! It's a real effort to not order a take away every night. I think you're right, we've put our bodies through so much, that they've gone into a siege mentality, and are stocking up on goodies in preparation for the next horrible thing we might throw at them! 

ChrisKirsty - good luck for your appointments today, I really hope you get some answers. 

Thanks for all your thoughts, everyone. Had a stressful evening yesterday, just a stupid thing really, had to get someone to move their car so I could get in my driveway, and it just totally freaked me out, was nearly in tears! Had to watch some Say Yes to the Dress to chill out! Feeling very dizzy and a bit sick this morning, but trying not to put too much hope in symptom spotting. Was discussing last night what to do over OTD, and think DH and I might take the day off work, just to give ourselves time to face the result, whatever it might be.


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## Chriskirsty

Sorry for the me post but ive walked out  of the doctors in tears  my gp said she would carry out all the tests today, I had my appointment with the nurse and said that she'd put aa note on my file to say they could only carry out two of the tests and not the main ones.. Not untill they had instruction from my clinic well that's not gonna happen. Because it's a male issue they overlook me.. And they say it's not proven to help..etc etc .. I Don't understand people sometimes why say yes then no, as if the past two weeks havent been disapointing enough I feel like it's a never ended battle I will never win,  all the nurse said was  well at least your young you have plenty of time, that may be true but on he other hand we've been in this journey nearly 9 years and don't no how much more I can take


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## mrschef04

Hi Chriskirsty - I'm so sorry.  I'm feeling the same way.  I don't feel like anything was positive for my first IVF cycle.  Hang in there honey and it may be time for you to go somewhere else if you can?

AFM - I'm supposed to continue on my meds and test on Sunday, which I don't really see the point.  I couldn't even get to test day.  So does that mean that there is yet another issue with my body?  That I rejected the embryo or that my progesterone is crap too?  Had a good cry this morning and went straight to work.  Glad to have a few drinks tonight and get over all of this.  I know that I can't have it all.  Just wondering if my clinic is going to just reject me and that will be it because of my poor response.  I was given three funded cycles, but they also had said, let's try this and see what happens.  So that could mean that they tell me that there's nothing they can do for me and I'm done?  Anyway, I get to go back to wondering if I should leave my husband now and get it over with?  I have this feeling that I will always feel less of a person forever if I stay with him.


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## NotleyAbbey

Wow I seem to have missed lots on here both amazing and devastating news. 

Just a super quick one from me as I'm currently sat in the MOT garage waiting room, waiting for my DH car to be MOT. Being the super amazing person I am (not 😜) I said that Id take his car in for him seeing as I'm still off. 

A huge CONGRATULATIONS too Cinnamon! As previously said I think some BFP news was well over due on here. You must be over the moon. I'm so happy for you. 

Chriskirsty - I can't even pretend or imagine the pain and heartache you must be going through right now and too have that happen to you is dam right out of order. How can people be so cruel? Especially to you and your DH. Sending you lots of big hugs      

Mrschef - I'm so gutted for you. Once again can't even begin to
imagine your pain and heartache right now. Big hugs coming your way too  
    

Littlesmall- I echo everyone else's comments, such great news to hear and so exciting! When's your scan date booked for? 

Welcome new ladies! 😊 I definitely agree that all these women on here have been and are AMAZING! 

Was I right in seeing at the bottom someone's post (where the information is shown), that you've had your treatment at the Chiltern Clinic? And I'm just being nosey here...but who is DR R? I'm obviously guessing a doctor. I feel as if I shouldbe know who he is, as quite a few of you do, but I don't 😳 I must admit being new to all of this and obviously not as clued up as everyone else there are a few things I have had to google as I wasn't sure what you were talking about. 

I'll try and log on later to finish personals. Wishing you all a good day an big hugs to those who are in need. Keep strong ladies


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## hollywood130

This cycle could shock you *Stini*, maybe the symptoms will be different. 

I used to be like that *Katfish*, now I drink them all 

*Cinnamon* that is fantastic news, huge congrats on your , hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy. Your DP is right, it has worked, amazing news. Have a lovely quite day to yourself knowing the great news.

Congrats again to you *Little Small*. Good luck with your scan. Hope you are doing well 

I'm the opposite *Catf* - 32b and I CAN'T WAIT to get the bra off each evening, I'm 6dp3dt and mine are killing my too. Hope the headache goes away soon. 

*MrsRL* No unfortunately not off work, working away, not a bad thing in a way, it does at times take my mind off this process. Your right, no point worrying anyway, it's not going to get me anywhere, what will be will be, just hoping it's positive. I'm getting there though, tomorrow I'll be half way there and at least it's nearly the weekend, those 2 days always fly! It'll be here before I know it so really I should sit back and enjoy being this far along. Thinking of you too, glad to hear you are feeling a bit better xxx 

I'm so sorry to read your post *MrsChef*, hope you can have a day to yourself today to take it easy and be sad, thinking of you and sending lots of hugs your way. Enjoy your few drinks MrsChef, that is just what the doctor ordered. My clinic told me to keep taking the progesterone even if AF shows up. If you have been given your 3 funded cycles then take them, I have heard before that the first round is the clinics really just being a bit in the dar and seeing how it goes, on round 2 they are more knowledgeable and better understand how to respond to the various steps along the way. MrsChef, don't let this ruin your relationship with your husband, he married you because he loves you not because he wanted babies, you both need each other right now, don't ever feel less of a person, have you spoken to him about how you are feeling? If this doesn't plan out the way you want it too you both will make peace with that and move on to having a wonderful life together but that being said, don't give up just yet, your journey is not over, try again 

*MrsLondon*, maybe some warm honey and lemon? Stay warm and get lots of warm fluids into you. Try not to stress too much at worl, you should be in bed if you are not feeling well, hope it goes well for you and your students! 

No long now *Chavalar*, fingers crossed it has worked for you x

Aw *Kirsty*, I'm so sorry, it's just one hurdle after another, why won't your clinic give the go ahead for these tests? Can't believe how long you are on this journey, my heart goes out to you. Can you go back to your clinic and demand some answers and tell them you need a plan of action from where you go next on this journey? I'm sorry, I know this probably isn't helping. Have you thought about going abroad? 

Glad you got through the night shift *Katfish*, hope it does stop for you soon too, thinking if you x 

Hey *NotleyAbbey*, good luck with the MOT

*AFM*: Nothing to report really, feeling tired, face is a bit spotty, slight cramps this morning, was sweating in bed last night, sore boobs... these are all AF symptoms for me so who knows what's going to happen

Glad it's nearly Friday, have a good day lovely ladies x


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## NotleyAbbey

Mrschef - your post popped I just as I had sent mine. Please don't feel as if it's all your fault and you have to leave your husband. Surely that's one if the worst things you can do for both of you. I'm sure you're incredibly angry and hurting right now and just hitting out at anyone and anything. I know I'm repeating what I've said to others who've had devastating news, but I can't even begin to imagine your pain and heartache. There are probably no words that anyone can say right now to heal your pain. Just remember that you're an incredibly strong women to have gotten this far and you will fulfil your dream.  It must be incredibly hard if they've said to still do the rest anyway, you know your body better then them, but maybe they're saying that just to confirm either way. I'm by no means an expert in this or probably the best person to listen to by all means, But we're all here for you, virtually I know but still here. Even little old me. Big hugs coming your way huni


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## Chriskirsty

Mrs chef thank you for you kind words  our frostie is with our clinic, so our fet will be with them but our next cycle if we need it I will be looking else where, I'm so stressed we've bought a new house and now I worry how we will keep affording treatment, I just feel like it's a losing battle.. 
Aww lovely dont ever feel that your less of a person, speaking in terms of the person that's in the other side of the coin as its my dh with the issues, I never think how life would be easier without my dh and his issues and I'm 100% certain your dh would never feel this way either, maybe share how your feeling with him and I bet he say what I'd say to my dh "that is pick him over anything" don't be so hard on yourself you've done amazing.. 
Sometimes when ladies don't reach otd with out bleeding it can be progesterone  issues which they can adjust and up or give u it in injection form..,
I really don't think they could say that there's nothing they can do for you when they obtained 4 eggs from you that's a good number.. Maybe they will try a diffrent protocol ,please don't ever feel your less of a person I tell dh the same thing, awww sending you hugs and strength  xx 

Hollywood thank you  they just feel it's dh issue that's stoping them progressing in me, I just worry it's me to and would like these immune test before We use our Ice baby..,they expensive tests and they feel it's a waste of time, I just so badly want to reach that end goal and get off this horrible roller coaster.. Dh is going to phone our clinic and ask if they'll agree,, I'm meant to be there for a check up today with not having a full af after my bfn but I just can't face going in.. I'm really hoping all those symptoms are a good sign for you  

Xxxx


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## Ms Gnomer

Just quickly popping in, as I have a fairly busy day today.

Congratulations, *Cinnamon*, that's fantastic!

To whoever said leaving putting embryos back before blast was bad, it's not. It really depends on numbers and your clinic's procedures. There have been lots of BFP and BFNs regardless of when they get put back, as it depends on so many factors, unique to each couple. The best thing is not to worry about it, but make sure you know the reasons why. 

AFM I've had an amazing night's sleep after all that insomnia, and only I'm now running late!!


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## Melly2015

Good morning!

*Mrschef*- am so so sorry, sending you lots of hugs.  It's such a difficult journey, isn't it? A few days ago, I was feeling the same. My clinic said to keep taking the crinone gel (which works out beautifully messy when you're bleeding too- sorry if TMI there) and I was just in the horrible limbo land. As both my acupuncturist and clinic said- it's not a great sign if you have heavy bleeding- however some people do have this and still go on to have pregnancies. Obviously I wasn't one of these women- but you aren't at test day yet and you haven't had a bfn at test day yet- so don't completely lose hope- I know it's really hard. I can't see why they won't fund you further cycles as against the odds you did have a little embie that did get transferred into you, and after getting that far, the odds shouldn't be any more against you than anyone else....it's just that the odds for everyone are still a bit pants. Please PM me if you want to talk- I was in that place a few days ago, and I know it's no fun. Sending you so many hugs

*MrsRL*- glad you're starting to feel a bit better  . Am hoping after a bit more time, the emotional outbursts will calm down for me a bit too...I manage to get through work ok, but then DH seems to be on the receiving end of a lot of tears in the evenings 

*MrsLondon*- try not to stress about work. I've had a few stressful days in work recently- but I just keep telling myself that work is work (even if I do get a telling off for something) and that this IVF is the most important thing to me at the moment- hope you feel a bit better and less stressed soon

*Chriskirsty*- am sorry to hear that- that's rubbish for you. It drives me mad when people say "you're still young, you've plenty of time" - that falls under the same category as the "if you'd only relax it will happen naturally" category  . Unless people have been through this journey themselves, they don't have the right to assume that saying these things will make us feel better. You WILL get there and you WILL win this battle- it unfortunately just isn't won yet for you. And when you do win it- think how much more worth it everything will seem. You've fought this for so long. Can you ring the GP and ask why she has changed her mind about how many tests you can have? 

*Cinnamon*- congratulations on your BFP- that's brilliant news 

*Stini*- no idea if this is your intention- but your posts always manage to cheer me up! Love your description of the Zita West post transfer relaxation session....I was listening to that too- my acupuncturist had it on CD and kindly lent it to me to copy onto my ipod. "plinky plonky" music?? Brilliant description!!! 

AFM- went into work a few hours late yesterday. Just about got through the day and suddenly decided during the afternoon that I wanted to go out for dinner. So me and DH went out for a meal last night....managed to get quite tipsy on 2 glasses of wine (tolerance completely gone after having none for the past 2 months....I've turned into a very cheap date!!!) and I did feel a bit better afterwards.

Even though yesterday was awful- and confirmed what I'd been expecting since AF made her appearance on Monday- I feel that I'm not in the horrible limbo that I was in on Monday/ Tuesday... (not knowing what to think or hope for or plan for). I'm still completely gutted, but I can now look at working out what the next plan will be. I have a follow up appointment with the clinic on the 24th September, so hoping that my next "proper" AF will have come by then, so we can get started on a frozen transfer with one of our little frosties. So if my body gets itself back to normal by then, will be hopefully looking at a FET in Oct/ Nov- fingers crossed. In the meantime, we have got a week booked off work in mid September, 2 nights in a hotel for our wedding anniversary during that week, and the rugby world cup to look forward to (getting to go to 2 games and a warm up match- yay!).

Hugs to everyone that needs them (I think that's quite a few of us today). You are all amazing people- this is just such a rubbish battle that we need to go through....


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## Rumplestiltskin

*ChrisKirsty* OMG, I always want to slap every person who says "you're young, you've got plenty of time" - especially medical professionals who really should know better! It's the least useful thing ever, especially when, as you have, you've been ttc for years. I turn 33 soon, so I'm wondering at what point they'll stop saying "you're young" and start sucking their teeth and saying "well, at your age..." (I might actually hit one of them, then...). Sadly, the universe is not a fair place, and having known MF (as we also do) doesn't exempt you from also having female factor problems - about 1/3 of infertile couples have problems on both sides. Surely it should be obvious to them given your age and history that there's something else going on?? The immunes are a dicey one - they're right in saying that the evidence is limited and mixed, this is true, and sadly means that most immune tests can't be done on the NHS, but it's unfair of them to not be upfront about this - sadly, I think most GPs just don't have a clue about fertility at all, so most of the time they're bluffing, IME. Personally, I totally believe that the immune system is important in infertility - you're trying to reconcile three separate immune systems for conception, after all! - but it will take time for the medical community to come around to this. 10 years ago, everyone thought your immune system had nothing to do with cancer, and now cancer immunotherapy is the most successful development in cancer treatment for 40 years. You might just have to go to one of the clinics that will do immune testing and pay (be aware, full immune testing runs into £1000s, plus the cost of treatment on top). Several London clinics do them, and a few other clinics around the country. Maybe your clinic can refer you??

*Mrs Chef* Oh, honey, you are in a really rough place right now . I'm so sorry. First things first, yes, do keep taking your meds until OTD. It's demoralising, but do it anyway. Have a glass of wine if you want. One or two drinks now are not going to change the outcome, whichever it is, and sometimes you just have to put yourself first. Just try and hold off getting totally trashed until after OTD. (This is a good point to deploy takeaway pizza, or whatever your food weakness is...).

Secondly, I would expect that your clinic will want to go through this cycle in detail with you to review what to do next, however, given that you have 3 funded cycles available, I think it's incredibly unlikely that they'll just wash their hands of you and tell you there's no hope. The reason NICE recommend 3 cycles is because it takes, on average, 3-4 cycles for success. It's nearly impossible after a failed cycle to not start thinking it'll never ever work for you. It is possible that it might not work for you. But it's also possible that it will. There are lots of changes that can be made to a protocol to improve outcomes, so it's possible that your clinic will try a different approach next that will suit you better. Remember as well, if you have the funding available, you can also choose to cycle again even if the clinic advise that you shouldn't - it's your body, it's your call.

Finally, please don't make any hasty decisions about your relationship at this moment. You are grieving right now. People may disagree with me, but I consider a failed cycle of IVF to be equivalent to experiencing menopause and a miscarriage in the space of 2 months. This is serious, life-changing s***. "Failed cycle" sounds so minor and inconsequential - like you've failed your driving test or something. It's not. It's awful. You are not less of a person because you've got fertility problems. You are incredibly brave and strong. Your husband loves you and wants to be with you. Remember that in your vows to one another, you didn't promise to have children together, or only to stay together if you're fertile. Contrary to what the American Right believe, marriage isn't about having kids, it's about marriage - loving each other, taking care of each other, supporting each other. The world in general can be pretty harsh on those of us who can't have children, try not to be so harsh on yourself.


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## Chriskirsty

Rumplestiltskin thank you for that  I'm glad your all so supportive .. I'm glad your with me on the age thing.. I felt like slapping her but then I thought what else could she say, I don't really think they realise  our life's have been on pause or repeat for 8 years however you look at it, we daren't have holidays for risk of wasting money, we are considering downgrading our car, just to save money and it's taken the excitement of our new home because a lot of money has gon into that and it's not finished being built yet..  We have both thought about extra jobs for more income but where will it end.. I hate seeing my dh so down because I'm so upset, and vice versa... I agree she admitted she didn't no much about fertility and probably just said yes without properly looking into it.. My clinic feel dh issue is the cause but its like am stood shouting at nobody saying helloooooo check me! We are making top quality blast, I no it's not a given but I don't wanna rule it out , they don't do immune testing so I guess we will have to go else where... I rang them the other day and asked if it was normal not to have af (only had a light bleed for over a day) and all I got was hmm I don't no, maybe you missed it coming away!!    Really, I just feel like a number at times.. I no they have done everything to their limits but I feel I'm being over looked and there's nothing I can do about it 😥 

Sorry about the rant ladies I'm sooooo fustrated.. 
Kirsty 
XXXX


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## Chriskirsty

Nelly thank you I missed your post... Dh is going to phone our clinic and the doctors when he finished at 2.. I got all upset on the phone, and now he's annoyed at them too.. I no those annoying comments are taking thre toll i may be only 29 (in 3 weeks ) but the affect and impact that's it's all ready had on our life's is huge. 
How are you doing?? I'm sorry you also got a bfn 😔 it's heartbreaking..lovely to read of your meal and your glasses of wine good  on you..,I hope you review hoes well so you can get started again on your fet too.. How many frosties did you get xxx


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## mrschef04

Hello all of you, I just wanted to say that I couldn't have gotten through any of this without you all. You have been the best group of ladies I have ever known and I didn't feel lonely through this process at all because you.

Thank you especially to *Rumplestiltskin, Melly2015, Hollywood130, NotleyAbbey and ChrisKirsty* for your long and heartfelt words of wisdom. I've printed them off to keep with me and read over and over again. No, I won't go overboard getting drunk, but I will have a couple of glasses of wine. I will continue the meds, but I know that it's over, as the bleeding has gotten full on over the course of the morning.

I knew from the start that the cycle had very slim chances, so it isn't as devastating as I thought it would be. The only thing that makes me cry is thinking of last night, when I was alone with my embie one last time. It sounds so stupid, but just thinking of that is the saddest thing ever. I don't think I'll ever not think of that without crying.

Loving you all so very much and good luck to those with 2ww. *chavalar and catf* whatever happens, damn, I wish the best of luck to you both! I hope you get the BFP, big time!! It would make my day!

Sorry if I have missed out or lack of personals. I'm just a bit self-involved today with the ending and feeling a bit shell shocked, so will do these later in the evening. I'm always here for all of you and still thinking so well of you all and hoping the best for you! big big hugs!


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## Stini

Oh my goodness, I've been reading the posts on my phone this morning in tears. It wouldn't let me log in for some reason so I had to wait to get to the office.

*MrsChef*: Rumplestiltskin is wise and wonderful, and she's said just about everything I've been wanting to all day. When my fella and I started this, three and a half years ago, we had no idea how low the lows were going to be, and that we were embarking on a process that would make us angry, depressed, disillusioned and feel hopeless. We also didn't know that it would bring us closer together than we'd thought possible, and create such an intense bonding that it's been responsible for some utterly joyful, wonderful times of togetherness. We've walked through the fire together and we're so strong now. The emotions go up; they do, eventually, go down again, because they _have_ to - he's been the constant through all of that. You and your husband have that sort of relationship: I know because of all the little things you've said, the way you talk about him, maybe little clues you didn't even know you were dropping. Don't cut all that goodness out of your life because of this. Love you loads. 
xxxx

*Rumplestiltskin*: you're my new hero. That was beautiful, and made me cry all over again. By the way, "the age" appears to be roughly where I am - one month off my 35th birthday. I'm lucky to look a lot younger, so this cycle I've had a lot of moments of "You're still yo..." *hasty checking of the notes* "Ah. Well. You've still got time." Crap nurse was excitedly trying to sign me up for egg-sharing before realising that it was under 34s only.

*Melly*: lovely to hear from you, and so glad my nonsense is helpful.  I do secretly quite like the plinky plonky while I'm in the Zita Zone, btw. But I'm way too cool for it at any other time, obv.  That was a lovely post, too - good to hear you beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and also that you got drunk! If everything goes bosoms aloft on this cycle, we'll be doing FET Oct/Nov as well, so will cycle with you.

*MrsRL*: Yup, that's what we were told. Our first cycle, only 6 of 16 eggs fertilised, and the one that made it to blast was already pretty fragmented, and they started talking about sperm DNA damage, asked whether my fella's mum smoked during her pregnancy (yes, she did: she was 18 and 1975 was a different time), and actually mentioned sperm donors. We were in shock, and assumed the worst - we only went ahead with the second cycle when we did because we'd come to the top of the NHS waiting list (first cycle was a clinical trial of Gonal F alternatives, so we got it free). So we threw everything at sperm supplements and started seeing better results.

*Kirsty*: I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I think that's right: GPs really know sweet FA about fertility. I had gynae problems which turned into a weird monthly condition when we first started trying, and some of the nonsense various GPs would come out with was pretty farcical (My mum is a GP, and she's been worse than a chocolate teapot at advice throughout this). Would it be worth taking a short break from it all for a while - even just a day to de-stress? I know you said you can't afford a holiday but could you do a fun day trip away or something? Have you had follow up at the clinic yet? It might be that they genuinely don't think this is an issue for you; it might be worth booking a consultancy at a private place just to chat, as there could be something else that you haven't considered, that could be helped with less expensive things like supplements. I totally get the need to feel like you're moving forwards and planning the next thing and solving the problems, because I do EXACTLY the same, but have you given yourself a proper break and r&R time since you started this cycle? The NHS is slow, and things won't happen when you want them to - maybe in order to best look after *you* you need to turn your back on it all for a while? Go easy on yourself, lovely. xxx

*Cinnamon*: Oh, that's such lovely and much-needed news! xxxx     

*NotleyAbbey*: I think Dr R is Dr Ramsay, and I understand he is a MASTER OF SPERM. Like the Yoda of sperm, if you will.

AFM: I'm blue and weary today. On the verge of tears when walking down the street, actual crying when I'm reading you guys, swollen and nonsensey. I'm looking at early testing, which I have NEVER done before, because I don't want to be ambushed by a bleed (period due on Sunday, so I think I'm going to test then - I know the cycle's all mucked up, but on my BFN cycle I bled the day it was due). I think all of you are blimming wonderful. xxxx


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## hollywood130

*Kirsty* - I think it is the clinics responsibility to help you and if getting those tests done puts your mind at ease then they should do it, you've put so much into this they really should pay attention to your wishes too. Praying your little miracle baby is sitting waiting for you xx 

So glad you are sleeping better *MrsGnomer* x

I really am so glad to hear that we have been some help to you *MrsChef*, you are an amazing person, you have been so supportive to the rest of us also, thank you for doing that for us. I'm only too happy to help in anyway that I can. You know, I'm the same, there is nothing wrong with my DP and I used to feel panicked at not been able to offer him a baby but all he wants is me (I've talked about this with him) and you know what if it was the other way round I could never leave him, I'm not strong enough to do that, he's my world, I couldn't live without him, you're probably the same with yours so you can bet your DH feels the same way. You should definitely speak to him. Can't believe you have printed those out you're so sweet You enjoy your glasses of wine, you deserve them. You need some time to grieve and you take that time, take as long as you need. Thinking of you MrsChef xxx   

Glad to hear you had a nice meal and nice glass of wine *Melly*. It's good that you have your next appointment booked and have a plan in place for where to go next. 

Only 5 sleeps *Stini*, I'm always so nervous about testing early, I think you should leave it til OTD but then again that's just me, you know your body so do what you are comfortable with. I'm quite emotional myself, it is an emotional time and it is so hard to figure out what is going on, all the symptoms feel the same, I wish I had something that felt different! No tell-tale signs though. 

AFM: I just had a lovely lunch with my sister, normally we'd be the same size so I was going to borrow a dress from her for this wedding next Friday, no way was that dress closing on me, can't believe I'm so bloated, now I gotta go back to the drawing board and try to find something else to wear, not fun at all.

Now roll on home time, can't get comfortable at work, my back is so sore xx


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## Chriskirsty

Afternoon ladies thank you all so much for you support.. 

Dh rang our clinic and they won't agree to letting my gp to doing my immune testing because it's not a service they offer, I really don't understand there decision what affect does it have on them if my gp is willing to do something that will enable me to either help my process or eliminate these issues.. I feel so angry and upset, Ive rang my gp and explained that they won't ok it  but id still like them done I just no it'll be a no and I won't find out till Monday... So fed up I feel like I don't want to take a break from it because the longer it goes on the more down I get it, I'd rather just focus on it for it to resolve than it take over our life's for even longer... 

My eyes are all puffy from crying and I also said i was still having pain and no af I just got told to see how it goes till my next review...I totally understand they can't do immune testing but to not agree for my go to do them when it's beneficial is unbelievable, what's the point of them throwing money at cycles if there's something wrong with me being over looked,... 

I hope your all well.. 
notleyabbey- Dr r is a specialist in Harley street he specialises in male issues... Hope your doing ok  

Mrs chef and Katfish I hope your doing ok thinking of you both  I've opted for wine tonight.. It's very necessary 🍷cheers to you both for the future  

Stini thanks for your words but I just can't give up, don't get me wrong me and dh are still are about our relationship he's the love of my life and we do have so many other good things in our life.. I struggle to cope when I dont have a focus, it's just how I work.. Sorry your felling Abit blue and down, try to remain postive good luck for the early testing 

Hollywood you to lovely praying this is it for you.. Sorry your feeling emotional,I gave up trying to symptom spot as there's no way of knowing,,thank you your all so supportive and helpful  I hope the 2ww isn't going to bad for you, your doing great keeping your self busy enjoying lunch with your sister  Awww the dreaded bloatedness, I still have it, on the up side you get to treat your self to a lovely new frock 👗👠  

Cinnamon how are you has it sunk in yet  so happy for you congrats again 

Mrs London I hope that cold has done one for you,, try natural things like Vick in a dish of hot water and inhale or eat citrus that's good if your feeling run down.. I've got everything crossed for you aswell  

Xxxxxxx


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## Stini

*Kirsty *- so sorry if it came across like that. I wasn't for a second suggesting you give up, just that you might need a wee break from it. You and your fella are ace. xxx


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## Chriskirsty

stini no it never came across like that at all, u were just thinking of me and dh iand i appreciate all your tips and advice id probably give the same advice, I just can't help but stress about it when my plans seem to have gone up in smoke so now I feel back where I did 2weeks ago it's horrible xxx


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## Stini

*Kirsty*: Come here and have some of these. 

What made you decide on NK cells as a course of action? Did you have any specific symptoms, or was it just the two cycles? I'm just thinking, maybe the clinic plan to try something like Clexane or the scratch with you for your FET, and they've already got a plan in place? xxx


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## Chriskirsty

I saw afew ladies on here had had it done and it helped them.. I just can't understand if we getting good embies and we have a frozen one why it's not happening.. Now with no af after a bfn even though my lining at ec was 14mm  I'm sure something is not quite right.. I just don't want to risk my ice baby without getting checked.. My clinic have never checked me because my Amh was high and I respond to drugs.. Thanks for the hugs.. The clinic told us at et if this didn't work and we had our frostie.. My dh had asked if they'd change anything and they said no... They don't offer meds or the scratch, xx


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## Stini

Is this clinic NHS? I'm pretty sure you can get the scratch if you want it: they offer it everywhere now, even if you have to pay for it - you could go to a nearby clinic. That said, we've got roughly the same ivf history and I was told the scratch wasn't a good match as I've had a pregnancy. Clexane or other blood-thinning meds - I don't know very much about them, but are you absolutely sure your clinic won't do them? I think most will look at these with patient requests, no? 

You do have almost the same drop-off numbers as us though (we had 16 down to 6 on our first round) and we were told that fertilisation drop-off was definitely a sperm issue - possible that you just haven't had your super-strong embryo yet? Bet your frostie will make it. 
x


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## Little Small

Love to you MrsChef xxxxx I wish we could all be with you for that glass of wine. We'll look after you.  I'm sorry for being so quiet ...I don't want to be insensitive.  I do wish you love and support....you'll come out the other side feeling strong again. I know you will. That's the time to make decisions...not today my friend.

I just wanted to pass on my thanks to everyone who has been so so generous with their kind words and support.  For want of a more appropriate phrase.....you're all ****ing amazing and the strongest people I have ever met.  I'ts an honour and privilege to know you.   xxx


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## Bexter83

Hi Ms Gnomer, if you read my post again, it did not say that putting embryos back before blast is bad. I explained that there is no more chance or less chance having a transfer earlier than a 5 day transfer and that I wish that I had tried to take my embryo(s) to blast on my previous cycles, as I was advised this time, regardless of the quantity of eggs retrieved, as it can test to see if embryos are ever making it to that stage, which can give more answers (which I explained in my previous post). I am merely trying to provide info on here, as I wish I considered this before and asked my clinic about this, as I am £20K and to be told by my consultant that my embryos may never be strong enough.


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## Katfish

ChrisKirsty how did the blood test and/or scan go at the clinic? Or didn't you attend in the end?


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## MrsRL

*Mrs London *- how do you feel now? I would say plenty of rest, fluids such as hot lemon, citrus fruit like someone else said and you can take paracetamol. Hope you feel better soon and that you didn't get stressed 

Chavalar - good luck for OTD tomorrow, keep us updated. Keeping everything crossed for you.   

*Katfish* - hope you're feeling less gassy now  The joys of all this...!!

*Rumplestiltskin* - don't get me started on pregnant women that smoke!! DH's relative is pregnant with twins and smokes like a chimney! I can't even look at her!! It's definitely a good idea to take OTD off work, so you can either spending it doing something together in celebration or be upset together while planning what happens next. I hope it's the first one for you though 

*Kirsty* - sending  as it sounds like you need them. If it would make you feel better, would it be worth looking into doing extra tests privately? I don't know if that's an option for you? I had a scratch and my cycle was on the NHS, I had to pay for it but they actually requested I had it. I'm sure this is an optional extra you could ask for? I do feel the same as you at times though, that because of MF, they don't bother looking into my results as much even when some are borderline. I hate it when people say 'you're young, there's plenty of time'   I actually laughed in disbelief at your clinic suggesting you missed a bleed   how on earth could you do that?! I'm not surprised you are feeling frustrated! I would be too!

*Mrs Chef *- I didn't get to test day either, it could be a progesterone issue as mine was always low/borderline so your clinic might suggest extra progesterone on another cycle. I'm going to be questioning this when I got for my review as I thought the pessaries were meant to keep af away, so will let you know if I get any feedback that is useful. If you have had the funding approved, I can't see that they can take it away again as you got to ET so I think they would do another cycle, they might just make changes. I often read that the first cycle is a bit of a test/learning curve where they can see how you respond etc and changes can be made for future cycles. Don't make any rash decisions at the moment for your relationship though and take time to grieve. The other lovely ladies have given you some great advice. Sending  and we are here for you if you need us xx

*NotleyAbbey* - I think it might be me you're referring to about the Chiltern?  Mr R is a leading urologist in London for male fertility  Hope you are coping in the 2ww.

*hollywood *- glad work is taking your mind off things a bit. Your symptoms certainly sound positive anyway  I really hope this is your time  glad to hear you had a lovely lunch with your sister  It's a shame about dress though but hope you find something to wear  Hopefully the bloating is a good sign 

*Ms Gnomer *- glad you had a good nights sleep 

*Melly* - I found the same as you with the bleeding and continuing the pessaries, I would almost describe it as horrific! Although I used the back door, it was just so horrible doing it and I cried when I did it for the last time as just felt so upset over it! I knew it was af so it felt like a waste of time. Sending you a  and hoping in time things get easier for you. OTD was a week ago today for me and I feel more positive about future plans but still a sadness, which is likely to be around for a while. If you need to cry, do so, it is better than holding it in. Hope you and DH have been able to talk things through  I agree with you, being in limbo is the worst! It sounds like you had a lovely meal  Good news that you are already making plans for your FET too 

*Stini *- thank you for the info, I will see if my clinic suggest the same. Out of 12 eggs, we had 8 fertilise normally but then ended up with 2 so something must have gone wrong. We will definitely be improving things with supplements, again thanks to yours and other ladies advice  I was always for waiting until OTD before starting my first cycle but after af arriving before OTD, I've decided I will test early on my next cycles. I would rather prepare myself. But then again I had a long wait to OTD, as it was 14 days after ET. Do what is right for you 

*Little Small *- you're welcome in here if you want to chat 

Hi to everyone else, thinking of you all. This has taken me ages to write lol, you're all so chatty  Sending     to you all as I think a few of you need them at the moment. Take care ladies xx


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## Chriskirsty

Sorry for the delay in posting me and dh been watching 50 shades with some munchies   

Thank you all for your kind words 

Katfish no I didn't go. Rang today and spoke to a different nurse and got told to see how I went., or that k could of missed my bleed really... How are you lovely?? 

Thanks Mrs rl and stini,, I really hope your right and that maybe I just haven't had my perfect embryo yet, I think I'm going to try the doctors again and wait to see what they say on Monday..our clinic don't run these tests and won't agree for my gp to carry these out.. My mam has  told me to appeal it not even sure you can..  But no doubt I'll go private, I want to talk to dh and have the how many cycles do we have chat  etc it has to end some where and that scares me.. Fet will be our 4th go... Our clinic don't do scratches or embryo glue when I asked I got shot down and they said they don't provide enough evidence.. I looked into clinics around me that do this but all those I contacted said you had to have your cycle there not just the scratch, I feel so stuck and trapped it's horrible, I can't imagine a life without children in it, I watched one born the other night and would give anything to be In  A delivery suite  with my husband by me side and our baby in my arms... 
Dh thinks we should try our frostie before the tests and try baby aspirin as this is what some people have tried for clotting issues, I am having my killer cells biopsy done before fet when I have my next two periods in Coventry so maybe with out the immune tests this maybe enough... I just worry we never reach blastocyst stage again and we ruin the chance 

Thinking of each and everyone of you sorry I've had a bad day I'll take a break from the pitty party tommorow I promise xxx


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## Clairey poppins

Morning ladies, 

I'm sat here waiting for the dreaded day 3 phone call  I feel like I'm going round the twist !   Praying I still have 5 little embies.      

God this wait is dreadful, I now know how all you lovely ladies felt. Xx


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## June2015

Hi gang,

Sorry I've been MIA, I've been lurking in the background reading all your updates and conversations. I wanted to pop on to say congratulations to *cinnamon* on your         that's fantastic news.

And I'm really sorry and sad for you *MrsChef*, sending you enormous hugs and love via the WWW. I agree with the others, take time to grieve and don't make any rash decisions. I have the fertility problems in my relationship, with similar % chance as you, and will quite possibly need a DE if my embryo banking cycles don't pan out for us, but I know my husband loves me even with duff eggs and I'm pretty certain yours loves you more than you can possibly know. Hang on in there hun  

*clairey poppins,* FX the phone call brings good news. Taking the drugs is the easy part, it's the waiting that destroys you!

*hollywood, Stini* and everyone else in their 2WW, thinking of you all, time will hopefully flyby. It is seeming to drag. Best of luck ladies, I truely wish this is your time xxx

Sorry not many personals, there are too many pages and my phone won't let me go back that far. Doh!

Enjoy your weekends and love to you all, you're amazingly strong women, who deserve to be happy and the support you show each other is first class.


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## Rumplestiltskin

*Clairey Poppins* Hope the news is good!

*Chavalar* Keeping my fingers crossed for good news for you, too!

*Stini* Thanks for your kind words! 

*chriskirsty* I know exactly your feelings of desperate frustration - it's just so hard to actually get doctors to do anything! Even when you're paying, it's still really difficult to access the treatment you want - everyone just says "go private" like it's easy, but it's really tough, you still need referrals etc. I can't believe your clinic are flat out refusing scratch and glue. NICE have just updated their guidelines on assisted reproduction, and if you scroll to page 12 of this report, that came out in June, https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg156/resources/fertility-surveillance-decision-june-20154 it clearly lists "endometrial injury" ie scratch and hyaluronic acid (aka embryo glue) as new developments that can significantly improve pregnancy rates. They are basing this on a Cochrane review of reviews, which is a gold standard for evidence-based medicine, and can be found here: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/14651858.CD010537.pub2/full (see why the consultants hate me?? )

After our first failed cycle, I had a consultation with ARGC in London, and they do pretty much everything, full immunes, the lot. I've hesitated over going because of the cost (about £12k for a full fresh cycle) and the fact that you pretty much have to live in London for all the monitoring they do during the cycle - they do daily blood tests during stims etc, but if you're really unhappy with your clinic, it might be worth investigating it.

*Mrs Chef* I'm so glad I could help. This is such a horrible journey that we're all on, but it really helps having people around who really understand 

AFM, I'm doing ok. Had more spells of dizziness/light headedness/nausea yesterday, but nothing today so far. Feeling really fat, but that's to be expected will all the drugs and all the food! Had some stomach cramps last night, which is making me a bit worried, since I often get an iffy tummy just before AF...still managing to hold off testing. Figured out that I've actually got enough tests to do one every day until OTD, but trying not to, as that way madness lies...

/links


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## hollywood130

*Kirsty*, did the clinic offer any reason as to why your cycle didn't work? Or did they just say male issues? Do they feel more knowledgeable when it comes to your frostie? Could you go private for these tests? It is a terrible feeling to have set backs, I'm so sorry. Ooh, never seen 50 shades, read the books though, dying to see the movie but DP won't watch it, he is on nights next weekend so might rent it for myself 

*Clairey* - good luck with the call, hope all your lovely little embies made it! All this waiting around is dreadful isn't it?! 

*June* it totally is dragging, but not a whole lot we can do about it, don't like wishing my life away either, it's weird I can't wait for OTD and then again I can!! Hope you have a great weekend too, I'm looking forward to a lie in 

Feeling really fat myself *Rumplestiltskin*, but it's all part of it isn't it! Stay strong and stay away from the tests 

*AFM:* Still getting a lot of cramping, especially in the evening time, had like 3 particular cramps last night that took the wind out of me, hope everything is ok in there. Still bloated, boobs are still sore, still tired and I'm 7dp3dt, HALF WAY THERE!!!! And it's Friday, today will be a good day, looking forward to the weekend


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## Ldw1804

Morning ladies

*Mrschef*, I'm so sorry, there are no words. I'm thinking of you and sending you hugs. 

*Cinnamon,* congratulations that is wonderful news. I'm so pleased for you.

*Clairey,* I'm keeping everything crossed for good news for you today.

*Chriskirsty*, sending you hugs honey. 

*hollywood130 & Rumplestiltskin*, hang in there ladies 

Hello to the rest of you lovely ladies, I'm thinking of you all today. 

Afm, I went out for a meal and some jazz last night with my husband and my best friend. I was sat in between them just taking in the music and the good company and for the first time in ages I felt quite peaceful and content. I think the whole IVF process has made me blinkered and I've stopped appreciating all the good things in my life. I want to stay on track with the IVF and get the next cycle lined up, but I also want to make sure that I start appreciating what I have in the now. xxx


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## Chriskirsty

Clairey poppings I have my fingers and toes crossed for you that all have made today  it's an awful wait sit tight and think postive  


June-- hi lovely I e missed your posts your so supportive, I hope things are going well for you.. When is your next cycle to add to your frozen embie collection  xxx


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## Stini

*MrsChef*: How are things looking this morning? (and - response to another forum but YES PLEASE PM ME ALL DAY) xxx

*Rumplestiltskin*: I'm just telling myself there won't be anything to test at all until Sunday anyway, and hoping that my rogue self believes that. My acupuncturist said Sunday is the absolute earliest that anything would show, and you're on the same timeline as me, so there we go. I've forced myself into it by not buying pregnancy tests - the woman at the chemist's in the village is a fearful gossip, so I have to go into Glasgow to buy a test and I won't get in there again till tomorrow, by which time it'll be too late for FMU...I've put a scary amount of thought into catching myself out on this one!  Your cramps are either a good sign or just the progesterone, too. I'm full of doublethink right now: have got myself convinced of two completely opposite outcomes simultaneously. I'm also with you on the fat train. I keep telling myself I'll either go straight back on Couch to 5K and lose it all again post OTD, or I'm doing something good for future fetus. As I stuff ALL THE THINGS into my mouth.

*Kirsty*: I know you're worried about money - a cheaper option than London clinic would be Czech Republic. you can get a full cycle with ICSI and amazing sperm extras like PICSI and IMSI there for about £2500, and their fertility practice is far more advanced compared to a lot of what you get in the UK. We priced decent AirBnB accommodation near our clinic of choice at £27 per night, too. 
Really sorry - butting out because I clearly don't know very much about the English NHS. Do you need a referral to a private clinic? We just phoned ours up. Right, I'm going to wheesht now. Stini out.

*Ldw1804*: So lovely to hear from you - and what a beautiful post about finding peace again. Made me very happy for you and also offered some much-needed perspective.

*
Clairey Poppins*: Everything crossed for your embryos. xxx

*Hollywood:* I know exactly what you mean about wishing it were over and not ever wanting it to end. I currently hold a number of completely opposing ideas simultaneously.

*June*: Lovely to hear from you! How you doing?

I woke up feeling weirdly confident this this morning, and then I realised my boobs are only a tiny bit tender, no pain, and it's thrown me right back. The Two Week Wait is such an advanced form of torture I'm surprised the CIA haven't patented it.


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## Katfish

MrsRL a little at the moment! Hopefully it will stay that way!

ChrisKirsty I'm still struggling especially at night when my brain gets all over active when I'm trying to go to sleep! Was thinking all sorts of things last night! And getting annoyed with the people in my life who just want to drag me down! I'm hoping that this weekend will give me some kind of break and time to try and think things not IVF! Waiting for our breakfast to come before our drive to Cardiff!

AFM - been thinking last night about asking my clinic about Egg Banking! I'm not sure if it's a thing but basically doing a couple of cycles to collect my eggs then freezing them and once we have a good quantity defrosting and fertilising them so that we can try and get embies to blast and hopefully in the freezer without having to use more than one of my DH's straws! Otherwise we only have 3 goes left! I don't know is this is such a thing!


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## Rumplestiltskin

Ah, Stini, CIA - ROFL!!!  

Totally agree - we are actually, literally, living out Schroedinger's thought experiment...with babies instead of cats...

Yeah, the private referral thing is mental in England - for ARGC I managed to get away with just sending them all my medical notes, but we initially saw our clinic privately, and still needed our GP to refer us (even after an azoospermia diagnosis). My DH has needed scans done privately - requested by Mr R - and every private hospital I spoke to wanted a GP referral to one of their urologists for a consultation to decide if he needed the scan than Mr R was asking for - in the end we had to get Mr R to write to the private hospital himself. It's such a spectacular waste of everyone's time.  

Katfish - egg banking is a thing, but I'd be very wary of it, personally...freezing eggs is much more technically challenging than freezing sperm or embryos, so only about 1 in 10 eggs survive the process, before you even try fertilising them. It's worth raising it with your clinic, they'll know more about it. When women do egg banking (usually an insurance for future fertility) they usually recommend about 5 cycles of stimulation and freezing, so it's pretty gruelling. Many places still view it as an experimental procedure.


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## mrschef04

Good morning, Ladies,

I can't thank you all enough for helping me get through my first IVF cycle, which was a rather harrowing experience. It's sad to know that I've pretty much lost two possible babies in the space of three weeks, but at least I know that I could possibly get through the cycle. After a bit of crying yesterday and a bit of sadness, I also started evaluating my cycle and what they could do more of, so I am at least planning ahead. I still feel quite empty today, but not as much as yesterday. Yesterday, I just felt hollow and my DH did say because he thinks I was too focused on the whole thing too much and that I should distract myself through the process next time. I think he's right. It was way more devastating because of that. I did test last night, just in case, and it was a BFN, but I knew that, as my AF is in full flow right now. This weekend is all about a few drinks, friends, food and DH and I sleeping in!

*Several things I learned from this cycle:*

1.	Take holidays off during the key events and make my DH do the same, so he's there with me. Next time, he's not going away for a week and he can re-arrange his schedule.

2.	Not focus too much on the process and plan more activities during the process (i.e. massages, mani/pedis, movie nights out, etc. etc.). Also, exercise through the first week of stims and do gentle pre-natal yoga during 2ww and long walks in the morning.

3.	At follow up appointment, ask about estrogen priming protocol and clexane injections for next time. Also, perhaps up my dose of dexamethasone. Also, ask about immunity issues, due to early bleed. I actually felt my hormones drop about 6 days after ET and my boobs weren't hurting anymore and then all of the bloating left me by the 7th day and the spotting started on the 9th day, so I don't know what that means.

As for now, I think I'm going to take time out for three months to relax and exercise, get all of this IVF blubber off and then I'll start on wheatgrass, acupuncture and DHEA for three months before my next cycle. I'll give it the ole college go, as it will be my second and final cycle with my own eggs before I switch to donor eggs. A bit of a scary prospect, but as my husband says, we just don't know.

*Melly2015* - I'm so glad you're not in horrible limbo either. I did test yesterday, just in case, and it was negative, as I thought it would be. I'll do the final test on Sunday, but my AF is full flow right now. My clinic said I could stop the crinone and wean myself off the dexamethasone for the next few days. So that's all done. That's great that you're looking at FET in Oct/Nov. Hope it all goes well for you and fingers crossed! 

*Stini/Hollywood* - You both stop symptom spotting! Lol! It didn't do anything for me either. Hollywood, when is your OTD again? Stini, I'll be messaging you all day on Sunday!     

*Little Small* - thank you for your love and support. I am coming out a bit strong again. It has been a crazy journey and I think I learned a lot from it. It was my first IVF go, so the whole experience was way more emotional and a bit scary at times, as I didn't know what to expect.

*MrsRL* - thanks for your advice. I think that's right. I will be questioning that too and also about upping my dexamethasone for my next cycle. It was horrible not getting to test day, wasn't it? I just wanted to stay in my pupo bubble for a bit longer anyway. Just to have the chance. Your post made me think about what I need to do next and I think planning really helps in getting past all of the sadness from the IVF failure. 

*Chriskirsty *- big huge hugs for you. Oh honey. I hope things work out for you and that they get things straightened out, so you understand what's going on.    

*June2015* - thank you honey. I am taking time to grieve a little, but also to relax with DH for three months before I even start thinking about conception and all of this stuff.

*Rumplestiltskin* - thank you for your kind advice again. Wow, are you going to do ARGC? That is a heck of a lot of money for IVF. Do you have to pay for it in one go? Are you there at the moment?

*Ldw1804 *- me too. For a whole month, I felt my whole life was about getting pregnant, so it's weird to finally focus on normal life that actually makes me happy. I was thinking I should start getting myself all healthy and ready for the next round in six months, but decided that I should take three months first to not think about it much at all. It really will help! 

*Katfish*  never heard of egg banking, but Rumplestiltskin had some good points about it.

*Chavalar *- how did OTD go this morning? Big hugs whatever the result!! 

Big hugs to everyone out there for everything, whatever your result or where you are at in your cycle!!!


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## Stini

*Rumplestiltskin*: Schrödinger's Foetus! You GENIUS. Do you mind if I nick that (with full credit) for my blog?

*MrsChef*: So glad to read this post this morning.  I think you're right to take three months out. Very sensible decision: it's good to have times when we're not just focused on your innards and not healthy to allow this  process to eat away at everything else. Those three months you've got planned sound blissful.  xxxx


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## Melly2015

*Stini/ Rumplestiltskin* - Schrodinger's Foetus Brilliant!!! I definitely think that a form of torture is one way of describing the 2ww. You need to patent that yourselves- before the CIA get their hands on it!! 

*Mrschef*: so glad you are feeling a bit better, focussing on the future and making plans. Did you have your glass of wine last night? Like you, I think there are a few things I'd do different next time. Hugs to you, you are amazing 

*MrsRL*: yep, taking the progesterone while having full on AF was not a fun experience! Especially as I was on crinone gel which needs to go up the front end. Lovely! I don't know why I started to bleed early- like you I thought the progesterone should hold it off for a bit. Will be asking my clinic about this when I go back for my follow up consultation.

Everyone who is still on their 2ww or waiting for news- I have got my fingers all crossed for you. 

Yesterday I started feeling a bit better about everything, and then woke up this morning in an awful mood, feeling very sorry for myself. I guess the next few days/ weeks are going to be a bit up and down and some days will be better than others. Yesterday work was a welcome distraction, but today I just don't want to be here. DH has told me to think of something nice (bearing in mind we're a little short of money now just off the back of an IVF cycle) that I want to do over the weekend. My mind has gone blank (really feeling a bit out of it today), but I have until 5pm when I finish work to think of something apparently!!!

Happy Friday! xxx


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## Chavalar

Hello ladies,

Just thought I'd let you all know that we got a BFP. Still early days obviously.

I was convinced it hadn't worked. I'm in total shock.


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## Chriskirsty

Chavalar    Massive congratulations so happy for you xx


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## Chavalar

Thank you Kirsty. I can't get my head around it xx


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## Chriskirsty

I bet you can't it's amazing.. I bet you can't stop smiling.., I'm over the moon the news on this board has changed, I wish you a healthy happy 9 months  💜 xxxx


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## mrschef04

Hi Chavalar, that's wonderful!  I'm so happy for you honey!  xx


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## cinnamon75

Helllloooooo  sorry I haven't been around much but I have just taken mum home to Wales and now I'm back in Devon (laid off) with all the time in the world to chat to you ladies who I've been neglecting 

*Chavalar* congratualtions!!!!!!     

*Melly* sorry to hear that you've been feeling down today, I know it's been said too many times already but it really is a rollercoaster this IVF ride. I think you should treat yourself to some wine too, but DH sounds like he is a total star for wanting to do something special with you on the weekend. How about a picnic near the sea or a lake or something? Or a road trip to explore somewhere you've never been before? I'm sure the other ladies will have better ideas though  I'll be taking note of any ideas as money is going to be tight for a long while until I get another job!

*Stini* I love your way with words... having some time to not focus on your innards sounds perfect  You've been chatting a bit about testing early on Sunday. How many days past EC would that be? My clinic seemed to give us quite an early OTD as it was 16 days after EC... 14 days after my 2dt. I'm not sure if that might ease your mind or help your decision at all?

*MrsChef* I am so so so sorry to hear your news. I feel even worse that it was the same day that I shared mine and to be honest yesterday I was feeling so sad and scared, that it felt so wrong and cruel of the world to give me the BFP when you are the one who deserve it more and I remember thinking to myself if I could hand it to you I would have   You have such an amazing attitude and are such a special person and I wanted this miracle for you more than anything after sharing the last month with you.

*Rumplestiltskin* you are a wealth of helpful information on this board!!! I didn't realise there was so much risk with freezing eggs so that was really useful to know. Good for you for holding off with those daily tests  you do whatever is best for you though, we are all different in how we cope with the 2ww 

*Katfish* Have an amazing weekend in Cardiff and Happy Anniversay 

*ClaireyPoppins* I hope you have had great news about those 5 little embies still going strong. It must feel amazing to have more than one or two. I had just the two that fertilised and had no idea whether they would make it to blast in my tummy, it did mean it was kind of taken out of my hands though and I had to go with the flow. I was stressed out waiting for news on day two let alone day three or five!!! I am in awe of all you ladies that manage that.

*June* lovely to hear from you and thank you for my little dancing jumping clapping and cheering smilies! How are you doing lovely lady?

*MrsSmall* That's exciting news about your first scan!!!! Is that at 7 weeks? My nurse mentioned this to me this morning. I said to her I'm just taking one day at a time at the moment as it's very early days and the odds of miscarriage are so high at my age. I'm really scared if I'm honest.

*Ldw* It sounds like you had an amazing night out last night and that you are in a really good place. You are so right, this is so all-consuming that we can forget sometimes, how good life can be. 

*Kirsty* it made me so mad when I heard what happened when you went for your blood tests  it is so ridiculous that your clinic won't support you in doing everything you can to give yoursleves the best possible chance. I echo the others, treatment abroad is a fantastic choice... I look at it as like the gold IVF service, whereas most clinics in the UK provide Bronze standard at best. In Prague (and other countries too) they offer some excellent services like PICSI, IMSI, Embryogen, Embryoscope etc at such minimal costs compared to the UK and ICSI is always thrown in for free. It's definitely worth considering xxx

*Hollywood* I had about three or four stabbing pains that made me stop I'm my tracks about 7-9 days after ET too! Then towards the end of the 2ww I had almost permanent AF cramps and I'm still getting them now. My boobs weren't sore at all and I didn't feel nauseous or anything. The only other symptoms that I seemed to get were ovary pains, loss of appetite and bad tummy cramps (like having a dodgy tummy) almost immediately after eating. I also felt a bit bruised inside if that makes any sense. not long to wait now!!!

*MrsRL*wow I can't believe it's been a week already. You have been so strong and I'm in awe of the way you continue to post such fab posts with personals for everyone. This board wouldn't be the same without you!!! I feel the same way about people who smoke when pregnant!!!!! Grrrrrrr. Babies are too precious to treat that way.

*MrsLondon* Big hugs to you! I hope you are doing OK? What's your news?

AFM, I still don't believe I'm pregnant and I can't say it out loud at all. I keep trying to downplay it when DP says something nice to me as if I'm trying to protect myself from the pain of potential miscarriage. I'm not excited, I don't feel ecstatic and I'm scared. I never in a million years expected to feel this way. I am totally shellshocked and don't know what to think or feel. We are potentially in a situation where I have no job (just holiding out for redundancy now) and if we are lucky enough for this pregancy to continue long term, then I will not have any salary to support us. Life is never easy is it, it gives with one hand and takes away with the other. I am so sorry to sound glum and ungrateful, don't get me wrong I know deep down this could be amazing and there is a small flicker of hope that it might actually happen for us.

The only reminder I have that something is not normal is that I am getting cramps everywhere, ovaries, right down below, throughout my uterus and even my tummy muscles feel tender today. I keep thinking I'm bleeding and am knicker watching all the time. I have to keep taking my Progynova (oestrogen) and Cyclogest (progesterone) morning and night until my 7 week scan. I still feel the need to write "if we get that far" at the end of that sentence, even thouh I know I should be positive. I never realised quite how much I try to emotionally protect myself before this process began. I wish I could be happy about it and enjoy it, but something tells me if this continues, it's going to be a very long and scary ride. DP lost a child at 25 weeks with his previous partner so I feel a lot of pressure to not put him through that heart ache again


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## mrschef04

*Melly2015* I know exactly what you mean. Yesterday, I was in tears all day. I had my couple of glasses of wine, but I wouldn't even want to get drunk. I just needed to sit there and cry. This morning I woke up quite early and just went into the front room and stared at the wall for about an hour. Everything just felt empty. I feel relieved, in a way, that I got my answers, but at the same time, I feel very very hollow. Like a shell of a person that has been through a bit and I just feel like I need to build myself up again. I just feel fragile. All day yesterday I had to call my DH every couple of hours just to hear his voice because, even surrounded by people, I felt lonely. Like today, I went out for lunch to grab a sandwich and the sun was shining. It felt really good and then as I sat and had my sandwich, I felt really lonely and empty all over again. After the last two days of crying, I can't cry anymore. I just sit without smiling and stare into space and I can't cry. The only thing that makes me cry is if I think about the last night with my embryo and when I said goodbye or if I look at the text photo on my phone that my DH took at ET in our little caps and hospital gowns, waiting to go in and smiling. I know it will take a few weeks before I get back to normal. And as much as I would like to jump on the bandwagon of getting myself ready for fertility and IVF again, I think giving my head and my body a break for three months first seems sensible.

Sorry for the long post, but I wanted to let you know that I feel for you a lot and so you know that there is someone out there going through the same thing and don't feel lonely and don't feel bad about being sad. You're not alone and you have a friend out there giving you lots of virtual hugs. xxx


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## mrschef04

*Cinnamon* darling, don't feel bad. This is the journey we're all taking. I would be absolutely freaked and scared too. It's natural. IVF pregnancy is different to natural pregnancy and anything could happen. I'm just so happy that you got this on your one and only NHS funded cycle. I have three funded cycles, so I think we are both very much blessed. My high FSH would have required more than one cycle anyway. This was more like my test run to see how my body reacted to everything, as I think my issues are a little tricky to get the right result. In regards to the no job thing, I only started my new job, so I wouldn't have had paid maternity leave. Having a baby is never at the right time. You'll never have enough money. Something stressful always happens at the wrong times and sometimes three stressful things happen all at once. The key is to look for the simple and beautiful things and keep on going. Just look for a new job, get settled and figure out how to save money for maternity leave. Hell, even if it's four weeks. So you could take off two weeks of paid holiday and save up for two weeks salary, etc. I think what you will need to do is be positive about it, but not overly excited. Just be positive. As for your pains, I've done my FF historical searches on cramping and it seems like a natural thing up until 12 weeks, so just hang in there. It's probably your body adjusting to things, so just do all of the healthy things you need to do and get plenty of rest, but also get some gentle exercise to keep the blood flowing.

You'll be just fine, whatever happens and lots and lots of big hugs to you! xxxxx


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## Catf2008

Going to try and catch up with you all later when I'm home, sending you all


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## hollywood130

Thanks *Ldw,* will be better now when 5:30 comes and I can go home from work! Glad to hear you had a lovely night, it's so true what you said we all have things in life we can appreciate but we can have the blinkers on when it comes to this process. 

I am very similar *Stini*, it's hard to know what to feel and think these days. HA your so right, it is complete and utter torture! You don't have long to go though, 4 more sleeps or are you going to test early?

Not sure either *Katfish* but it is a good idea and worth asking about xxx

*MrsChef* the week you have planned sounds lovely, enjoy, you deserve it. You have a good plan in place which is fantastic and I hope it all goes very very well for you xxx 
Oops, I know I'm terrible, I shouldn't be looking into the symptoms, well I am confused as to what they are for, they could be one or the other, who knows so really I am just typing them all out!!!!! My OTD is 28th but I've a wedding that day so going to hold out until the 29th.

*Melly* there is going to be a lot of up and down for you, that's only natural, I hope you can have a nice relaxing weekend and be kind to yourself. 

Woohoo congrats *Chavalar* , that is amazing news. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.

Oh *Cinnamon* don't be telling me that, you'll get me all excited!! Fingers crossed though, must be a good sign. Keeping everything crossed for you, you'll be fine though, enjoy this time and be excited! 

*AFM*: Can't wait to get home, my back is completely killing me, cannot get comfortable at work keep twitching in the chair - 30 minutes to go - tick tock, tick tock


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## Rumplestiltskin

Congratulations Chavalar!!!!! Fabulous news!!!


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## MrsRL

Congratulations on your   Chavalar, that is brilliant news        

We definitely needed more good news in here  xx


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## Chriskirsty

Cinnamon a think Mrs chef said everything really.. (Your amazing Mrs chef  ) you don't sound u grateful at all lovely, I'd be the same in your shoes, I think  the majority of people who  go through Ivf and struggles to have a family no only the heart ache it can bring.. It would be hard to get excited maybe you'll start believing in it when you've had your scan then you can shout it from the roof tops..,  I'm so happy for you, it's such a Shane your good news has been tainted with a bit of worry about your job, but fro
All your posts I see such a strong women and no you will get through this... Thank you fit your kind words  

Hollywood I hope your ok and that back ache goes off soon  

Afm dh and I said we would sit down tonight and discuss our plan of action for our next steps so I feel better in that sense then we are going to gabfest the weekend off to relax  
Dh rang out clinic today because when I got out of bed today at 6 my tummy was so swollen and I got a huge pain in my left side under my tummy button, they said it wasn't a cause of concern he said I hadn't had a full af she said if I don't have it by Monday to do a test and let them no if it's postive, she said after fertility treatment it's possible I could of fallen pregnant naturally,, honestly! Clearly didn't read out file  its impossible to happen naturally.. I will look into treatment aboard maybe that's an idea to discuss with dh tonight so thanks to all those who suggested it  
Hope your all ok have a fab weekend


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## June2015

Chavaler,     very happy for you!!! 

Ah, Kirsty, next cycle will commence next Wednesday or Thursday.  Can't wait to start injections again  

I'm good thank you cinnamon and Stini. I honestly cannot wait to get going again, but it's been nice to have a 12-14 day break from scans etc.

I popped to see my friend who had her baby via IVF today. She only gave birth 6 weeks ago.  It gives me hope that it's possible. Although she needed IVF for different reasons to me it's still a miracle.

Love to all, I'm about to stuff my face with pasta now, yum xx


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## Little Small

CHA.VA.LARRRR     Congratulations!!!!!!!  Very very good luck to the three of you   xxxxxxxx


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## Chriskirsty

Morning ladies 

June Ive just read your post.. Wow that was quick  Youll be able to cycle again on this board, you must be one tough cookie to get going again already, I'm like you with the attitude that you can't wait to get started  
Fingers crossed it goes smoothly and you can add to your collection of embies      Best wishes lovely 
Xxxxx


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## Stini

Oh, *Chavalar*, that's great! And you were so sure it hadn't worked, too!      How are you feeling now? MrsRL is right, we really needed a bit of good news. xxx

*Cinnamon*: argh, this stuff gets inside your head, doesn't it? And no wonder - it's an ongoing process of lurching from one stage of fraught anticipation to another, with very little official support. I suppose just take each day as it comes until you get to your scan? And don't think you "owe" this to anyone, lovely. You do owe yourself a bit of me time, though - maybe see your current state of being job free as a chance to give yourself some lovin'? MrsChef is right - there will never be a right time and there will never be enough money, and yet people muddle on. My non-religious goddaughter, who is now two and a half, is the daughter of two artists who very rarely have paid work and do find that a strain, but she's surrounded by a huge loving "village" of parents and 'aunties' and grandparents, and is one of the quickest, happiest and brightest little bubs I know. 
You're always so generous and thoughtful with your responses, too. I wanted to say thank you for that, and for always taking the time to say something lovely to everyone. 

*MrsChef*: how you doing this morning? I know I've been fangirling all over your posts for weeks, and this seems like an odd time to tell you this, but I blimming love the way you write, and I really admire the articulacy you're expressing all this with. It will help, in the long run, to have been able to put all this out there. Very good plan, to take a three month break. I ended up with eight months in between my last two cycles (we had a house move and a load of bureaucratic nonsense with the NHS, so it wasn't all deliberate) and I'm so glad I did - it's good to have time when you're not being a patient. Oh, I've already said this. Blah. Sorry. Fuzzy today.

*Melly*: Hope you're having an amazing mystery weekend. xxx
*June*: Yikes! So soon! Good on you. 
*Hollywood, Rumplestiltskin*: How we doing, 2wwers? Please tell me you're as crazy as me. 
*Little Small*: When's your scan date?

AFM: I realised I was actually driving myself into a panic. During both of my previous cycles I was working full time, whether from home or in an office (office was the best). This time round, I'm only working two days a week, and only one of those days in an office. The rest of the time, I'm supposed to be using an arts council bursary to write my second book - what I'm actually doing is Googling. Just Googling. Over and over again. I even consulted a    ing online Magic 8 Ball (ostensibly just to see what my reaction would be like to a negative, but still - NONSENSE  ). I'm having to use internet blocker for long periods of time to try and force myself out of it. Last night, I went round to a friend's house. I think they've got a fair idea of where we are (as she gave us a lift to the clinic for EC), but they know not to ask until we tell them something. So we just watched stupid movies. And it was nothing to do with TTC (even if I was checking this site and my other forum on my phone every half hour), and it was great. So I'm going back through to Edinburgh this weekend for another few days of hopefully distracting culture, and I still haven't decided whether or not to test early. Maybe we'll just see how I feel on Sunday morning. Love to you all - I'm going to try and take a wee bit of time out until OTD/the day I test/ whatever, just to get my head back together again. xxxx

ETA: meant to say - in the course of my Googling, I came up with these two interesting articles. They're not overflowingly positive, but both of them really did help me feel calmer. 
http://myselfishgenes.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/why-did-my-ivf-cycle-fail.html
http://crookedtimber.org/2012/02/18/things-i-have-learnt-from-and-about-ivf/

/links


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## Catf2008

Good morning ladies

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend 

Chavalar - congratulations on your BFP 

Sorry I haven't caught up with you all but it's been a very emotional few days and I spent alot of yesterday in tears as the woman in my office left for her maternity leave and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I should of been leaving for mine as well if we hadn't of lost peanut in January, I will try to catch up with you all, I'm not holding out much hope of this cycle as I've had some brown/pink spotting this morning at 10dpo which is what happened on my first cycle and AF turned up 2 days later so time will tell


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## Clairey poppins

Morning ladies, 

so sorry I've not been on here for a couple of days but my heads a whirl since egg collection. 

Huge thank you to all the lovely ladies that wished me good look with my embies id like to share with you all that as of yesterday morning ( the dreaded day 3 phone call )  We still have All 5 embryos.       And  they were all developing really well!  

The embryologists explained that they  would want them at 5 cells yesterday and we had ............. 2 @ 5 cells, 2 @ 6 cells and 1 @ 10 cells. So we're well chuffed!   

They grade them as 1 being the best and 4 being the lowest, and we have .......... 1 @ grade 1, 2 @ grade 2 and 2 @ grade 3. So happy!     

We are having egg transfer today at 2pm tso we are egg static. Lol. We are going to have 2 put back in and freeze the other 3 if alls well. Xx

Huge congratulation to the ladies who got a   In the last couple of day! 

Good luck to the ladies that are having EC or ET today or yesterday, I'm keeping everything crossed for you.  

And last but not least massive love, hugs and positive vibes being sent to everyone else on this emotional journey no matter what stage you are at.  

Have a lovely relaxing weekend everyone and enjoy the sun if it's shining where you are. Xx


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## Chriskirsty

Clairey poppings yeyyyyyy so happy for you darl  
Egg static how funny it made me lol   best wishes for egg transfer and to get little frosties to how lovely  
You'll soon be pupo  xxx


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## cinnamon75

Morning ladies,

I'm having a lazy one today while DP empties his dad's house for the completion of its sale this week. I can't help lift any of the big furniture and that's all that's left in there so I'm no use!

*Catf* I'm so sorry you are having twice as hard a time coping not only with your 2ww but also the reminder of the loss of peanut  It would be just perfect if you get that BFP to show the pain has all been worth it. I was going to say spotting sounds good but you know your body better than anyone else. I'll still keep my fingers and toes crossed though!

*Stini* thank you for your support and wise words. I'm feeling a bit more positive today because my friend reminded me yesterday that no matter how much I try to protect myself from pain, it will hurt just as much no matter how much I feel I'm ready for the worst. I might as well try to enjoy it! Turning to a magic 8 ball is the kind of thing I'd do! I was really lucky to be so incredibly busy with family visiting, that my 2ww flew by and wasn't too torturous but I know I would've gone bonkers if I hadn't been so distracted! I totally understand you needing to step back and have some timeout for a bit.

*June* that's so exciting!! Like kirsty said, what an amazing turn around! 

*kirsty and MrsChef* thank you both for your very kind words, they were especially valued as I know the hurt you ladies have been through this month. Thank you 

*ClaireyPoppins* oh my goodness that's such fab news! Egg-cellent egg pun too  Good luck for ET today! I loved that bit, it was exciting


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## Skye83

Hi ladies

I hope you're all ok, I have been following this thread and it's been such a support through what is a very emotional time!

I had egg collection Monday and we had 16 eggs, 15 mature and 9 fertilised which we were over the moon with. I have had egg transfer this morning but am a little worried as our clinic follows the SET policy but recommended that we had two blastocysts returned because of the grades. One of our embies would have been a top grade but it did a random thing earlier in the week and jumped from one cell to three cell (bless it!) The other is developing a little slower too. Just got my fingers, toes and legs(!) crossed that everything will be ok.

I'm trying not to panic and just enjoy being pupo   

Lots of love to everyone on the thread xx


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## June2015

Hi girls,

Anyone else melting today?  . I went to military fitness this morning and honest to God must have sweated out 2 litres.  I have only peed once since I've got home, 3 hours ago lol. 

Yes, natural IVF can have a quick turnaround as there's no DR and minimal drugs so once your period come, off you go again.  My first scan this time around is Wednesday. 

Stini, if you're reading this you shouldn't be   ha ha, you should be enjoying your internet free time.

congratulations to all who got great EC numbers and those who are recently PUPO or soon will be 

Love to all, keep well xxx


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## Little Small

Stini !! turn off Google NOW!!    scan is on 7th Sept....am very very scared xxxxx


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## cinnamon75

*Skye* fantastic number of eggs and embies well done you! Have you got 7 frosties left too after your double blast transfer? congrats on being PUPO!

*June* it's not been too nice thus morning in Devon but the sun is finally out. Certainly not melting though! Military fitness sounds like my idea of hell. I am very envious of your fitness and enthusiasm!

*Little Small* whoop whoop, 7th September  Is that exactly 7 weeks? I'm trying to work out how far behind you I am. Had a horrible sharp pain in my left side when I went to get out of the car earlier. I thought for sure the little embie must have been ripped out of its comfy new bed  Fingers crossed it's just growing pains!


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## Skye83

Hi cinnamon

Our clinic is waiting till tomorrow to see if the others are suitable for freezing as they're slow burners! Another nerve wracking phonecall to wait for! Xx


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## Little Small

Thank you Cinnamon....I have no idea....transfer was 1st Aug of a 5 day blast. Just feels completely bonkers. I've had period type pains on and off....less so now. No nausea (which worries me) and very very tender boobs.  They're not big enough to be too bad but I'm thrilled how they now look in my bras    (.)(.) 

How are you, what stage??
Xxxxxx

Ps if it's any comfort I've had cramps that have knocked my breath out of me....not for a few days though. Had to make emergency trip to waitrose for Rennie on Thursday....thought I was being stabbed in my chest!! Took an hour and about 300 burps to feel better!!! Good job I had a long drive home that day!!!!


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## hollywood130

Oh yes Stini I am going completely crazy too, very hard not to. 

Catf I'm so sorry you're having a hard time, fingers crossed the spotting is only implantation, hope you can have a nice relaxing evening with your DP, hope you feel better soon xxx

Clairey congrats on being PUPO, hope ET went well for you

Good luck Skye, great number of eggs!

AFM: boobs aren't as sore today, hoping that's not a bad sign, quite cranky today too, it is getting harder, don't feel as bloated either but maybe that's because I've just worn trackie bottoms all day! Feeling nervous and worried right now 😢

Love to you all xxx


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## MrsLondon

Morning ladies,

Sorry I've been quiet over the last few days, I was recovering from being unwell and my head has been all over the place.

*ChrisKristy * - how did your talk with DH go? Sorry to hear that your clinic and GP are being difficult about your immune testing. Can you have it done at a different clinic or just put your foot down with your GP?

*Stini* - if you're reading this YOU SHOULDNT BE . Hope you're feeling less crazy now and the play was ok and didn't get to you. Looking forward to hearing your BFP news. I've got an excellent feeling for you babe.

*Catf* I'm sorry you're feeling down, fingers crossed the spotting is only implantation and not full flow by now. Really feel for you lovely xx

*ClaireyPoppins* congrats on being PUPO, welcome to the 2ww of madness.

*Skye* a fab number of eggs, fx for a great fertilisation rate.

*Cinnamon* Glad you're resting up. Has it sunk in yet?

*MrsRL* Thank you for asking after me, I'm much better now.

*Hollywood* Really sorry you're having a tough time during your 2ww, I'm the same, it's constantly on my mind. I can't even offer you any words of wisdom apart from I'm in the same boat and here if you want to talk. The only thing we can do is keep calm and carry on until OTD.

*June* - Glad to hear that you'll be starting your stimms again soon, feels like it's come around really quickly.

AFM - I've had a weird few days. Don't know how I feel, go from thinking there's a chance that it could have worked to there's no chance at all, that's why I have the frosties in the freezer because this round won't work and I'll need to use them. Don't really have any symptoms, 4dp5dt, zero signs of implantation, zero pains nada. I have sore boobs now and then but always have sore boobs before AF and its nothing different. I know that not everyone gets symptoms but a sign, any sign that this has worked would make me feel so much better now. Does anyone know how long you have to wait in between cycles? Just wondering when I would be able to have my FET. Feel so bad about DH's nan who gave us the money for this round. We've had to pay for the freezing ourselves and will need to pay for the FET ourselves too and we don't even have the money. Everything is SO expensive at our clinic in London. Spend a lot of time thinking what is worse, getting AF or waiting until OTD and getting a negative   ok, I guess this means that I'm feeling very crap today. DH's sister and husband are coming round today to help with the house so I guess that will keep me preoccupied.

Love and babydust to you all. *MrsChef* Really hope you're feeling better and have had a lovely weekend so far with friends, DH and wine xxx


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## Chavalar

Ladies, 

Just a quickie. I'm in London this weekend so haven't had chance to catch up on posts. 

Will read through everything when I'm back in Leeds on Tuesday xx


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## mrschef04

*Chriskirsty* - that's really good that you're going to start looking at your plan of action. Now that I know what mine will be, I also feel a lot better and I'm starting to move on.

*June2015* - I'm glad there isn't a long wait. Yes, I know exactly what you mean. It feels like if IVF even works, it definitely is a miracle! Just kept melting all day yesterday, without any military fitness!

*Stini* - Aw, thanks mate! Yes, I've been a writer since I was 14 and did quite a bit of freelance journalism, but it just never made much money, so I had to work. I'm working on a book now about infertility and the family you make through friends and those you meet. It's a children's book. My illustrator and a few friends are coming over today for roast lunch my chef husband is making and we're going to have a little party, so it's a nice way to finish off the weekend! How are you doing though, honey? Everything okay? I know the feeling. I was hoping too, even with my bleeding, but it just wasn't going to happen. I'm just frightened by the whole prospect of nothing working at all.

*Catf2008* - I'm so sorry honey about your miscarriage last time. I really hope things work out for you and that the spotting isn't too bad. I've just been cheering you on this whole time, Big hugs&#8230;

*Clairey poppins *- that's great! Wow! Those are amazing embryos! I would be so happy! You have so much going for you! Hope ET went perfectly for you yesterday and congratulations on being PUPO.

*Skye83 *- that's great! Wow! That's fantastic! Hope ET went fine and don't panic about the grades! It's all relative! Congratulations on being PUPO!

*Little Small *- Aww, that's awesome with the scan!

*Hollywood130* - Aw, don't worry. From my FF research, some women have sore boobs off and on early in pregnancy.

*MrsLondon* - For me, I'm at Barts and they said, it's 6 months between cycles, which to me, I think is about right. Gives me a chance to have three months off and then another 3 months of preparation. I'm going guns out the next time. Probably three months of weekly acupuncture, chinese medicine, DHEA, coq10 and prenatal this time around before my next cycle. I think I'll also take a different view to how I am during the cycle and just less focused on it all, now that I know what it's like.

*AFM* - just a nice weekend with DH and our fur baby. We're having friends over for a boozy roast lunch at our place. Bleeding still hasn't stopped and in fact, has gotten heavier and bright red, so I think it's getting rid of everything now. I'm looking forward to getting rid of my big butt through exercise and dieting again. I felt pretty empty the last four days, but I woke up today starting to feel like myself again.

Just an FYI that I'll keep watch over you all, but I won't be on here quite as much, as I need to move on a bit. The whole cycle for me was tough. Everyone has said at one point how positive a nurse was or that the embryologist was happy. Yet for me, mine was pretty much crap. My baseline, my scans, my EC, my ET, not one smile, not one positive thing said from anyone. In fact, their faces were grim and they would tell me my progress as if someone died. Then, my DH and everyone saying I had to stay positive. If you were an engineer that had to put life on hold for a month building something that had a 5% chance of completion, would you be positive? Compounded by the fact my stims were interrupted by a pregnancy/loss, I just feel a bit worn down and want to move on and not really focus on this IVF stuff anymore.

Thank you all so much for your support and love through all of it and good luck!


----------



## cinnamon75

Morning cyclers 

*MrsLondon* so loveky to hear from you and I'm glad that health wise you are feeling better. I'm worried about you though  It sounds like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. I know it's not helpful to say don't worry, but I think if you could try to focus on one thing to worry about and not all the little things that you have no control over it might feel less overwhelming? For example I'm sure DHs nan leant you the money knowing it might not work and you don't even know yet if it has or hasn't, plus she got a lot of extra frosties for her money. Those frosties might be there for a reason... for a sibling! The thing with worrying is it doesn't change the outcome and it doesn't help you. I'm the world's biggest worrier because I think deep down it's my way of preparing myself for disappointment, but my friend said to me the other day that I can't make it hurt less no matter how much I prepare myself for it. She has a point. I think having people around you and keeping busy is the best possible way of getting through the 2ww and I hope the rest of the day goes quickly for you xxx

*Chavalar* have a great time in London! How are you feeling? Are you getting BETA a tests done or do you just have to wait for your first scan?

*Hollywood* my boobs weren't sore at all, except for the first week after EC. I reckon this was probably the trigger or the progesterone. There aren't as tender now, so I don't think its necessarily a sign either way. Is test day Friday? Are you waiting that long? 

*Stini* were you thinking of testing today? I'm wondering if you have and what your news is... I have everything crossed for you and like MrsLondon said, I have a good feeling for you too. Still loving the gifs! 

*Little Small* I'm about a week behind you... had a 2dt on 6th August. I've got no nausea but I think that's pretty normal at his stage. My boobs aren't very sore but I did roll over last night and found it hurt to lie on my front. My main symptoms are twinges and cramps. If I try to stand up quickly or get out of the car too quickly the pain can make me gasp and radiates in my hip (particularly on the left side). Generally though the AF cramps are starting to subside now and I took another HPT this morning to check I still and a second line as I was starting to doubt myself.  

*Skye* good luck for the call today!! I hope you have some little frosties  

*Catf* thinking of you and hoping the spotting has stopped 

*Kirsty* How are you doing sweetie? I've got to be honest and say I agree with the hospital... you could be pregnant - it certainly sounds like it with the pains, hardly any bleed, etc. I know you said it's impossible but it's not anymore as your fab DH has been a superhero with his sperm development! Never say never because there have been some really miraculous stories on this site xxx

Hello to *MrsRL, Rumplestiltskin, MrsChef, Katfish, June* and all the other ladies I've missed x

*MrsChef* just spotted your post as I was trying to post mine  It sounds like your head is in a really good place today and I'm sure that boozy lunch, great company and the promise of some serious exercise is just the tonic you need. Have a fab day! Lovely to see you on the limbolanders thread xxx


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## cinnamon75

Ps. *MrsChef* I took LOADS of supplements for at least three months before we started. Alongside folic acid, Co-q 10, and a Pregnacare conception multi vit, I also took Vit D, complex Vit B, Vit C, Royal Jelly, Bee Propolis, Omega 3, Selenium with Zinc and probably a couple more that I can't remember off the top of my head. DP also took most of these, minus the bee propolis and high does folic acid. He obviously didn't take Pregnacare but took Wellman conception. He was terrible at taking his supplements so I would put them next to his breakfast every morning with a glass of water!!!


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## mrschef04

Hi Cinnamon, thanks so much.  Yes, I did do the folic acid, pregnacare and DHEA this last time, but think I'll be going on the Royal Jelly and Coq10 next time.  Also, will do that whole acupuncture/chinese medicine thing.  I felt like my first IVF was more to see baseline, how I would do.  DH is good and solid with his side, so he didn't do too much.  Barts were pretty happy with him, lol, but not my side.  This infertility thing is all about me and the small amount of eggs I have, but then again, nothing stuck, so it looks like my progesterone was pretty crap too.  I've had two baseline scans and the first one showed only two follicles and the second one, only four follicles, so I just don't have much of anything left, I think.


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## Clairey poppins

Morning ladies, 

I hope you are all well? It's a beautiful morning here in Nottingham. ☀

I'm sorry I haven't had chance to catch up with everybody but I'll do that shortly while sitting in the garden with a cuppa.

Well yesterday was ET day.     We got to the clinic at just after 1pm as I had to be on the ward for 1:30pm. So my DH and I made ourselves comfy in the waiting area/coffee lounge, after about 20 mins the kind receptionist came in and advised me and another lady to go to the loo and then drink plenty again as they were running 1hr 1/2 late and they were still finishing off the morning list. As you can imagen I ran to the loo.🏃 Not only did I do that once in that 1hr 1/2 I did it 3 times and then drank like mad once I got on the ward. I suppose it all added to the excitement. 

Finally when we got to our room the lovely embryologists George updated us on our eggs.  
We had 1 Blastacist, 2 compacting embryo's at a C2 and 2 Moloral's grade 2 M2. Now that ment nothing to me apart from I knew it was all great from what the embryologist kept saying.  
We ended up spending a long time chatting with him as we wanted 2 putting back. He tried to put us of because he said we had a MASSIVE risk of twins with my eggs being so strong. But we stood our corner. 

Next in came the consultant and again we had a battle on our hands with wanting 2 put back, he kept going on and on about how beautiful they all were and how strong they all were and how likely  a twin pregnancy was but yet again I stood my corner then my DH chiped in and really defended our choice for 2 and my our reasons very clear. Guess what before I knew it the consultant completely changed his tune and said twin pregnancies were beautiful and amazing and he had no problem with putting 2 back! Whoop whoop result! In fact he then apologised for scaring us and making things sound so harsh but basically he had to as it was his job. He totally change his tune and was really lovely with us, shaking our hands, crossing his fingers and putting his hands together 🙏 saying I really hope everything works out for you. 

Egg Transfer was a truly amazing experience for us and I didn't stop grinning the hole time. 

When we got into theatre George the embryologist gave my DH a photo of both the embryos they were putting back and then to our surprise told us that the second embryo was just about to go to blastacist.
So we had 2    Top quality, high implantation rate eggs put back in and yes I'm over the Moon as you can probably tell.  

Sorry for the massive long waffle me post but I'm so excited I'm no Pupo I just had to tell someone our story. 

Right now for that cuppa and catch on you lovely ladies. Have a lovely Sunday. Xx

 Love   Hugs and


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## Chriskirsty

Good morning ladies  

Mrs chef thanks  I'mGlad your starting to feel better as well, it sounds like your feeling a lot more postive even after a full blown af you are so strong.. I hope you enjoy a lovely meal with your dh and friends to day..  The boozy parts sounds very fun.. When is your review?? I hope you can get started again in your own pace, although I have to say I'm with you on the worriness of it never happening.., but we will get there I no we will as God said  go forward and multiple and that's what we shall do  


Mrs London I totally agree with cinnamon  it's so so hard not to worry I was a totally loony in my 2ww didn't go through a day where it didn't overwhelme me, me and dh had a good chat on Friday night as money is a issues for us too,people  facing this rarely have the funds to keep going over and over, but to every problem there's a solution, try not to worry to much, think  postive about the one inside you there's no reason why it won't work for you, I'm sure your nan new it wasn't a cert lending you the money so never feel bad about that, she'll of wanted to help you anyway,, I really hope the next few days are easier for you.., lsending you massive Hugs and support and I've got everything crossed for you 

stini  I hope your doing ok and your little break has done you wonders, if you've tested I hope you've had the best news ever  

Cinnamon thank you for your words me head is all over with it, but so lovely to see your feeling better about things.. I think your friend is very wise and that's true, no matter how much you protect yourself it will always  hurt.., so I hope your starting to enjoy it now.., you desereve to 

Afm i had a good chat with dh on Friday, we've decided to wait and see what the doctors say tomorrow and go from there, if not i will strongly be expressing my view on there decision not to let my gp do these tests, maybe we could appeal it.., we are defiantly going for my killer cells biopsy hopefully in November and fx do fet in December, depending what's said at my review  so it's a waiting game at the minute.., we spoke about further treatment and finances and we will manage whether that be aboard or here because given up is just not an option for us.. 
I was starting to feel better although they aren't concrete plans, they are out in the open and ready to turn into reality.. I went out with my best friend yesterday for lunch and a glass of wine,, I laughed so so much, we went back to hers and I noticed a few spots of brown blood in my knickers when I wiped nothing..,it started my whole worry off again, i came home and went to the toilet again and everytime I went the toilet paper has a very very very light brown tinge to it, I did something which I never do and shouted dh to the bathroom and showed him., he's as confused as me,, I've woke up this morning and it's still there no af pains just a feeling of so much pressure like I'm still on  stims yet my tummy is flat again, dh said if my af isn't here my tomorrow I should ring the clinic and asked to be seen because we are worried something has gone wrong and we could do without me having problems on top of dh too.  I like I do keep thinking the worst that I have an infection.., I have a sore back and boobs so maybe af is on her way I hope so because this is torture it's nearly 3 weeks since my negative beta and I'm ready to move on.. If a don't have a bleed soon I can't have my biopsy for longer I have to have two nautral af's soooo fed up 

Love to you all Kirsty xxxx


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## mrschef04

*Clairey poppins* aww, that's great. I'm living vicariously through you! That's wonderful it went so well.


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## Chriskirsty

Clairey poppings sorry our post must of overlapped 

Congrats on been pupo whoooop whoooop  
Your story is lovely  there's something special about et I have to say that was my favourite part.. 
Well done for standing your ground and having two out back  I wish you all the sucess in the world and how amazing both ended up being blastocysts, you sound like you have fab embryos there.. So did they freeze your others?? 
Xxx


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## Clairey poppins

Aww thank you Mrschef13 and ChrisKirsty. They are phoning me today or tomorrow with a update on the other embryos to see if they will go to blastacist too. Our clinic in nottingham will only freeze blastacist eggs as they say the freeze/thaw process can damage the cells. 

Once again thankyou for your kind words of support ladies. 

Wishing you both every success in your journeys too. Xx


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## MrsLondon

Thank you Cinnamon, MrsChef and ChrisKirsty I guess I'm just having a low day today. Just need a good cry maybe. Doesn't help that everyone our family know and loads of our friends. Yesterday at a BBQ one of my mums neighbours asked if I was pregnant which didn't help matters. Will just feel like such a failure. DH's brother in law came in and said "hello pregnant lady". That ****** me off too. Wish no one knew now. When/if we have our FET I'm not telling anyone!!!!! 

ClaireyPoppins - Welldone, glad you stuck your ground. 

xxx


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## Stini

Hey ladies. Just checking in very quickly. I couldn't bring myself to buy a test yesterday, so we'll wait till OTD on Tuesday. However, my hey-your-period-is-on-its-way spot has popped up this morning, so I'm not really feeling much hope. Just going to keep myself busy this w/e: the pregnancy play is tomorrow, so just praying the bleed doesn't start before then.
Love you all. Personals tonight when not on phone. MrsChef, your weekend sounds awesome. Xxx


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## Chriskirsty

Stini sorry to read your update I admire your strength to keep busy  really praying this is not your af best wishes to you lovely xxxx


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## Catf2008

I really do need to catch up with you ladies

Stini - fingers crossed it doesn't turn into anything

Cinnamon - unfortunately it's not stopped and has got a little bit worse with a couple of clots this morning and been having some cramping as well today 

Sending love and hugs to you all 

AFM I had a major migraine yesterday  ended up in bed all day, my spotting had turned into on/off light bleeding and ive also been cramping as well, so I'm waiting on my AF to turn up in full flow, I'm not holding out much hope, I know I had very simular in my previous cycle but that didn't turn out well in the end. I'm taking this that I'm out & it's time to move on from treatment, I can't take the heartache anymore and the sadness on my hubby's face as he watches my heart break. We had already spoken about adoption before and feel now is the time to look down that road. I know I'm not out till AF shows but in my heart I need to be prepared


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## Chriskirsty

Catf sorry to read your post aswell I really hope it's not full blown af for you and the resting in bed helps.. When is your otd?? This whole process is heartbreaking I've thought about giving up too.. What ever your next steps are whether that turns into adoption I wish you all the luck in the world.. But for now I'm keeping my fx for you that this is your time  xxxx


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## Catf2008

OTD isn't till Friday but my first cycle AF showed up at 12 dpo which would be tomorrow


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## Chriskirsty

Isn't it strange that everyone has otd at diffrent time ovulation is ec isn't it I had my otd 14 days past ec so am I right in thinking your is 16 do ec ?? Maybe your just experiences a light bleed near your the time you normally would I no a lot of ladies on here have and gone in to their bfp... Just given a little positivity for you  xxx


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## MrsRL

Hi ladies, sorry I've been AWOL the past few days and not posted properly. I have been catching up with you but on my phone so not been able to post properly  Hope you're all ok 

*Cinnamon* - I hope you're doing ok, I'm not surprised you're shellshocked, I think any of us would be. I would be very scared as well I think and probably not believe it. Hold on to that flicker of hope  It winds me up about smoking when pregnant anyway but her situation is also not the best as she basically deceived the bloke to get pregnant without telling him and he has not surprisingly left her. A lot of the family are not happy at all. She is young and silly I'm afraid. Given our situation and the situation of all you lovely ladies, it hits a nerve! Hopefully your job situation can be turned into something positive and I'm sure you will find something suitable. You will work things out, from your posts you are a very strong woman  I hope your pains are a good sign 

*Hollywood *- how are things with you? Is your back any better now? It doesn't sound nice but hopefully it is a positive sign  Try not to worry too much 

*Kirsty *- I'm pleased to hear you and DH sat down and discussed things, it sounds like you have a plan of action in place  I hope af finally shows up for you so that you can move on and get the next plans sorted. It must be very frustrating for you. Is it how your af normally starts? My DH has seen it all as well now since doing the cycle, as when I had spotting after EC I was showing him and saying do you think this is normal. No secrets here lol. My OTD was 14 days after ET! It is weird how they do it differently.

*June *- good luck with your next cycle. Hope you get a good number of eggs  It's always nice to have hope and see your friends lovely miracle 

*Stini *- I hope you're not spending too much time online! I also really hope that your spotting is not a sign of af, hope it's linked to implanatation and your embies are snuggling in  

*Catf *- sending you  as it sounds like you have had an upsetting time. Sorry to hear you were not well yesterday, I hope the rest helped you. I really hope that your spotting is not a bad sign and does not turn into af - hope the witch stays away!!   Take care of yourself x

*Claireypoppins *- lovely to read your positive posts  Congratulations on being PUPO    Wishing you the best of luck 

*Skye *- welcome and hello  It sounds like EC was very successful and congratulations on being PUPO    Wishing you the best of luck  Any news on frosties? 

*Little Small *- good luck for your scan on 7th September, wishing you the very best. Keep us updated 

*MrsLondon *- glad to hear you are feeling better  Some ladies don't get any symptoms at all and go on to get a bfp, so you're definitely not out  I'm not sure how long you have to wait, but please think positively. I don't think you have to wait as long for a FET. Sending hugs and positive vibes  

*MrsChef *- wow your book sounds exciting  Sending you  I'm not surprised you feel worn down, it sounds like you need some time away from IVF for a while, as it does take over. Take some time out and enjoy spending time with your DH, write your book etc and make time for you  You so deserve it. You come across as a very strong lady and I'm so pleased to hear you feel like you're in a better place. I have joined the limbolanders thread now as well, so will catch up with you in there as well 

Hello to all you other lovely ladies, thinking of you all 

AFM - yesterday I ordered some vitamins for me and DH as part of our 3 month prep for the next cycle. Thanks to Stini for your really helpful advice. After doing some reading up, we decided to go with fertilisan m for DH, as well as Zita West DHA and vitamin D, for now. I may be buying extras too! I'm wondering if anyone can advise me on the quantity if I want to buy Co-Enzyme Q10 and also is it ok to take vitamin B complex on top of the conception vitamins. The lovely westies suggested vitamin B complex for lengthening the luteal phase but I don't want to take too much and overdose (not even sure you can lol). Where has everyone bought their vitamins from when taking the extras like royal jelly etc? Any advice appreciated as I'm struggling with this! Not much else to report from me really, just plodding on  I have felt a bit PMT the last couple of days though so hope I'm not having another af so soon! I've started doing ov sticks again so I can track my cycle a bit and work out when af will arrive! ETA - DH is being brilliant and accepting anything I'm saying he needs to take/do lol. I'm looking at getting the snowballs  as well  For anyone that has used them, where did you get them from! I get slightly immature when I think about it 

Sending  to all, take care of yourselves  Hope you're all having a lovely weekend xx


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## Dotty80

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

Wish I could join in the chat a bit more (as am feeling very isolated), just doesn't really work well on my phone and my laptop is kaput.

Pleased to see some BFPs on here, and also that those who have had BFNs are staying strong.

I'm feeling sorry for myself today. Fed up of the bad luck I always seem to have. My whole adult life has just been one big failure. I try so hard to stay positive but there's always something that knocks me down. 
I want the happy carefree Dotty back, not what I've become.


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## hollywood130

*MrsLondon*, hope you are feeling better? I think I'm feeling a bit calmer today, it's just so hard, you end up over-analysing everything but we'll get through it together!
I thunk it's 3 months between cycles.

Thanks *MrsChef*. Glad to hear you have a nice lunch with friends planned, hope you have a lovely day. Do whatever is best for you MrsChef, I wish you the best for your future, lots of hugs xxx

That's good to know *Cinnamon*, OTD Is Friday but I'm waiting until Saturday because I've a friends wedding on Friday, if it was a negative I couldn't face the wedding so I want to wait till Saturday, it'll kill me waiting til Saturday!

Congrats on being PUPO *Clairey*, go you standing your ground, I had 2 put back also, heres to twin pregnancies!!! My DP would love twins!

Best of luck *Kirsty*, glad you both had a good talk. Your so lucky you have your snow baby and that could be your little miracle waiting for you. You definitely do need to get answers though, you should have had a bleed by now, do get in touch and see what they have to say about it.

Fingers crossed its not AF *Stini*, hope the dreaded play goes ok for you, try to zone out and think of something else during it.

*Catf* I'm so sorry, I do hope its not AF for you, it is always good to prepare yourself and I wish you all the lucky in the world really hoping its not what you think it is.

*MrsRL* bit better today, the back isn't as bad, thankfully, just odd bit of cramping, fingers crossed its not AF. Best of luck over the next few months!

So sorry to hear you are feeling like that Dotty, maybe do something nice for yourself, you need to try and get your mind off it, easier said that done I know, hope tomorrow will be a better day for you xx

AFM 9dp3dt, getting there! Being of work for the weekend really helps its much easier not being at work. Short week next week, only 4 days, off on Friday for the wedding. Bit bloated today, boobs only a bit tender, very tired, dreading the week ahead. DP is finished work at 7 so must go make dinner


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## Chriskirsty

Thanks for your advice Hollywood and Mrs chef it's definitely not how my af normally starts, again had a lovely dinner with dh then a nice long walk with all our puppies they go on Monday, I came home went to the loo, brown flaky mucus in my knickers and when I wiped (sorry if this is tmi) but there was a tiny blob of brown jelly.. Gross I shouted dh and he said we are going tomorrow no offs or butts.., it's looks awful and I'm starting to really think soothing had gone wrong  unless is this how af's are after a failed cycle my last one after my early mc was awful bright red, sorry I keep going on but I wouldn't dare say this to anyone oft family or friends... 

Awww dotty I do hope your ok, this whole process has such and effect on you but deep down your still that person it's just hard to be anything but full of worry when going through this, is there maybe something you could do to help with how your feeling? Maybe do something to let your hair down etc, remind me where u are in your cycle 

Hollywood you are getting there lovely.. Not long to go now.. Glad you have a short week ahead I'm sure the wedding will keep your mind busy and your otd will be here soon enough.. 

Mrs rl I'm glad to see your moving forward too, it's helped me to have a plan.. You sound like you have being busy looking up and ordering you vitamins.. Great news your dh is so supportive to how you'd like to progress in your cycles.. I really hope they do the trick for you,, I may look these up myself so I'm with Mrs rl if any one knows of where to obtain the rest of the vitamins I'd like to no too ) 

Well not long till I tackle my gp again grrrrr still annoyed  

Love to you all 
Kirsty 
Xxx


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## MrsRL

Sorry to hear you are feeling isolated Dotty and that you struggle to keep up in here  Is there something nice you can do to cheer yourself up? What do you enjoy doing? I'm sure any of us would be happy for you to PM us if that's easier and you just need a chat  you're in the the 2ww aren't you, it is hard and I hope it's not making you go too mad. Hope you feel better about things tomorrow.  

Hollywood - glad you are feeling better  really hope it's not af, keeping everything crossed  hooray for a short week, OTD will soon be here and I'm sure the wedding will take your mind off things for a bit 

Kirsty - I'm sure everyone is different but if it helps at all, my af wasn't like that. Mine was heavier than usual and mostly bright red. You definitely need to get checked out and rule everything out. Would it be worth doing a test just to rule that out? What other symptoms have you had? It's fine for you to say these things, it's what we're here for  I hope the vitamins at least help to get us better quality embies but we'll see. What vitamins have you and DH taken? Good luck with your gp tomorrow, will be thinking of you. Keep us updated  

Xx


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## Chriskirsty

Thanks so much mrs rl, I really don't think I need to take a test, it's not on my signature but we had a natural pg  10 years ago which sadly I lost due to a fall but before the test and with my chemical I knew I was this time I just feel like I did on stims.. A sore back, brown horrible stuff maybe it's just really messed up I hope.. I worry I have an infection off ec.. All I took was pregnacare and dh took well man conception on top of his tamoxifen, I do wonder if these made a difference on our other cycles he didn't take anything this time he  took that for 4 weeks and we ended up with a frostie but then again they say it can take 3 months to renew sperm, I think I myself may up my intake aswell.., thanks for the well wishes for the gp thanks again you should be called Mrs tlc your so supportive and I can't thank you enough I hope we can be cycle buddies again because I probs won't be going for another few months to  xxx


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## Catf2008

Unfortunately ladies looks like I'm out, got more bleeding this morning not heavy or rich red like a normal AF but enough to be classed as a light AF, very pink and watery. I'm waiting on it to turn up fully now, my boobs are less sensitive and I have loads of cramps just as I would with AF only difference is that I want to be sick   looks like my journey to motherhood is now over.

I wish you all the luck in world with getting your little ones x


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## MrsRL

So sorry to read this catf   I hope it doesn't turn into full blown af but as I found out with my cycle, you know your body better than anyone. I will still hope for you that it is not it though. Take care of yourself xx

Kirsty - I hope you get some answers soon and that you don't have an infection. Did they give you antibiotics after EC? Thanks for your lovely words   I hope we can be cycle buddies again too, and hopefully share in a success  xx


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## Chriskirsty

Thank again Mrs rl.. I'm going to look to this week as a new start  fx af turns up and I can move on.. Same to you  

Catf Awww noo I can only reiterate what Mrs rl said I really hope it stops and is not full blown af.. It's such a cruel journey,, sending you hugs xxxxx


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## hollywood130

Hey* Kirsty*, hope you don't miss your puppies too much, I'd hate letting them go even though I know they have too! You are right to go today and try to get to the bottom of your AF not coming, that needs to get sorted just to be sure. Hope it all goes well for you and you get some answers x 

Fingers crossed *MrsRL*, how are you doing?

*Catf* I'm really sorry to hear that, I do hope it's not AF for you but you know your body best. See what happens over the coming days, wishing you all the luck in the world, thinking of you


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## NotleyAbbey

Good morning ladies  

Please accept my apologises for my absence. I've been a busy bee. All of my family went camping for my nephews 10th birthday this weekend just gone. It was good to be kept busy. I've just spent the last hour catching up on everyone's posts. 

Cat2008 - please try and remain positive lovely. I've got everything crossed for you, but as already said only you know you're body. Miracles can happen. 

chriskirsty - you're such a strong woman and I really admire this. I really do hope that you manage to get all the tests done that you want done. I'd definitely be the same as you and would need to rule out everything, even if they are saying it is a male issue. Keeping everything crossed for you too. You definitely deserve it 😊

Mrsrl - you too like chriskirsty are a very strong woman whose strength and determination I admire. I'm also keeping everything crossed for you. You certainly sound as if you're getting ready to go again. Once again another lady who deserves this all to work out. 

Dotty - i too am sorry to hear that you're feeling very down and low. As easy as it is for me to say you must try and remain positive. From the sounds of it you seriously deserve some good luck. Maybe it might help to try and talk to family or friends (if they know of course) how you're feeling. It does sometimes help to talk. I hope that you're feeling better about yourself today. Sending you big hugs    

Hollywood - I hope that you do have a good week and an even better Friday at the wedding. On the bright side you've got two 4 day weeks as next Monday is a bank holiday 😊 FX that you get your BFP you deserve 👍

Whoooo hoooo Clairey Poppins really happy for you. Congratulations on being PUPO 😊😊😊

MrsLondon - so sorry to read about your news. Big     to you lovely. There can be real positives and even more so negatives to telling people that you're starting IVF. My sister is the only one who knows everything about my treatment so far, mainly because she kept hassling me (she's booked in for her 12 week scan for her second baby this coming Friday) and also because she can help cover up when I've needed to go to appointments etc. Only my boss and a very close couple and my best friend know that we've started treatment but they're none the wiser as to what point we are at. Although I have felt guilty as they keep asking how things are and going and I did in the end have to say that we would let them know when we feel confident and up to it. Since we've done that they've stopped asking. Once again I wish you all the luck you deserve, you too are another one of those very determined and stoing ladies in here that I admire. 

Stini - how are you doing? I hope that you're play goes well. 

Welcome Skye and congratulations on being PUPO  

mrschef - if you are reading this I really do hope that you're ok. I really don't blame you for needing to take some time out. I hope that you start to feel a little better and more positive soon. I know I've repeated myself several times but you too are another incredibly strong lady, someone whose been very helpful and supportive towards everyone else on here. You too deserve some positive news and happiness. Sending big hugs your way and take care of yourself      

To anyone else I've not done a personal for, please accept my apologises. I'll try my best to write properly later this evening when I'm not having to type on my phone, please excuse any typos  
I hope all ladies who are in the land of PUPO during their 2WW, EC, ET or having scans are all well. Big hugs to you all  

AFM - I've still got tummy cramps, sore boobies and a sore lower back on and off. I truly feel incredibly guilty writing this and I have been uming and arming about whether to or not, but we were very surprised to see a BFP this morning. I honestly can't believe that I'm writing that. I couldn't bear to do the test so I handed my pot of wee (sorry TMI) to my DH who performed the rest of the test with his stop watch all set and ready with 3mins. It had been our plan all along that he'd have to conduct the test. I knew either way I'd cry like a baby and guess what I did. I had to call up the clinic to let them know our result and ask for some more cyclogest (which I honestly don't mind at all if its going to get us to our ultimate goal of having our own little baby) Our scan is booked for 8 Sept. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! We are not going to take anything for granted as we know we are still in the very very early stages, but it's quite overwhelming to know that we've come this far. My/our plan is to try and stay busy and optimistic. It still hasn't sunken in and I still feel incredibly guilty for sharing this with you all. 

Thank you for all your love and support so far it really does and has meant a lot and had made this journey somewhat easier. 

Big hugs all       

xxx


----------



## Chriskirsty

Notley abbey... Awww lovely so so happy for you  don't ever feel guilty about sharing your amazing news, we are all thrilled for you, just because some of us haven't had that yet doesn't mean you should feel guilty at all.. I'm sure I speak on behalf of all Of us that  have been unlucky this time., we were routing for everyone on this thread not just ourselves... I'm over the moon you got your bfp this morning., you and your dh deserve this 
Thank you so much for your kind words I will not be beaten lol although I think I have a missed call from my gp this morning dohhhh 
I wish you a healthy happy 8/9 months let us no how your scan goes 💜 
XXXX


----------



## Skye83

Amazing news NotleyAbbey!! Massive congratulations xx


----------



## Skye83

Morning all

MrsRL, the clinic have just called to say we have two frosties ❄❄ so extremely chuffed. I'm feeling  a little more relaxed now x

Dotty-this is such a tough time, it's no wonder you feel low, hope you feel brighter soon xx

Catf, fingers crossed  it's not your af, thinking of you x


----------



## mrschef04

Just had to give a couple of messages:

*NotleyAbbey* I'm so happy for you! That's great news!

*catf* I'm so so sorry it didn't work out. I wish you luck in whatever you do.

Whilst I'm still positive, I have sunk a bit into severe depression since Wednesday last week. I don't know if it's a combo of coming off the drugs or the failed cycle or what. So I'm just trying to move on with things and see how they go. Booked my eight week follow up appointment with the doctor as well.


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

Congratulations, *Notley Abbey*, fabulous news!!!!   

Don't feel guilty, positive news gives us all hope that this can work.

*MrsChef* sending  my dear. This is such a tough time. Thinking of you.

*Catf2008* I'm sorry it's not looking good. Hoping for a miracle for you 

*ChrisKirsty* hang in there, honey.

*Skye83* hello, and congrats on being PUPO! And frosties, too! Brilliant news.

*Clairey Poppins* congratulations on being PUPO 

*Dotty* so sorry you've been having a tough time. Is there anything we can do to help? We're a lovely bunch, really 

*Stini* How're you doing, sweetie? (and yes, you can use Schrodinger's baby - how did you do an umlaut on here?? - you're welcome )

AFM, well, I have many virtues, but patience is not one of them. OTD is Wednesday, which would be 16 days after egg collection, and 11dp5dt. True to form, I did not manage to wait to test, and I'm afraid the pee sticks were out with a vengeance yesterday afternoon. Not true to form, however, after 3.5 cycles of ICSI and 4 years of TTC, the result was 

Crazy excited and totally in shock. Not really allowing myself to breathe until the official result on Wednesday, but feel like this is a massive milestone.

Symptom-wise, there have been the dizzy spells with some nausea, and an iffy tummy, and today had some quite strong AF-like cramps, but there's no blood, and this morning's test looked a little darker than yesterday's, so cautiously optimistic that this is real, and not a chemical.


----------



## MrsRL

Huge congratulations to Notleyabbey and Rumplestiltskin     

Skye that is great news, so happy for you having frosties  

Kirsty - what puppies do you have? Hope you're not too sad to see them go! Hope you managed to speak to your doctor!

NotleyAbbey - was it you asking about the chiltern? I was just wondering if there was a reason 

Hollywood - I'm having the day from hell at work and will be glad when it's over!! Glad you're doing ok 

Hometime can't come quick enough here xx


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## June2015

Hay, Rumpelstiltskin and Notelyabbey, congratulations to both of you on your    here's to a happy and healthy 9 months xxx

Big hugs and kisses to everyone else    xxxxx


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## mrschef04

Congratulations *Rumplestiltskin*! We needed good news on this board! Here's to a fantastic 9 months!


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## Skye83

Congrats on your   Rumpelstiltskin!! Fab news xxx


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## Chriskirsty

Rumplestiltskin congratulations lovely  amazing news.. Wishing you all the best in your pregnancy  xx


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## NotleyAbbey

Thank you all for your lovely messages and support. You're all such AMAZING, STRONG, KIND, SUPPORTIVE and CARING LADIES!!! Love to you all. 

A huge big CONGRATULATIONS to you too Rumplestiltskin on your BFP!!!   I don't know about you, but it still hasn't sunken in. Not too sure when it will 😊

Yes it was me Mrsrl who was asking. Please accept my apologises for being nosey and asking about the Chiltern clinic. I was only asking as we were looking at going there for treatment as I believe it's one of the closet ones to us. But after reading some negative reviews and after several different open evenings at different clinics, we personally really liked the Nuffield clinic in Woking and even though it takes us on average of between 40mins to an hour and 20mins to get there, we wanted to go somewhere where we or I especially felt happy and comfortable. How have you found them there?


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## hollywood130

*NotleyAbbey*, lucky you being kept busy through this, wish I could take a leaf out of your book! Sounds like you had an amazing weekend, what a lovely thing to do for your nephews 10th birthday. Unfortunately for me it's not a bank holiday, I'm in Rep of Irl, we had one at the start of this month! Wish it was one here too though! Great post for being on your phone, well done! Huge congrats on your , I'm so glad you wrote it because it gives the rest of us hope, it's great to see news like this on the thread, I'm so happy for you, I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy! WOW September 8th, that won't be long coming, aw that is amazing, congrats again! Don't feel guilty at all, all you should feel is happiness and excitement 

Sorry to hear you are feeling down *MrsChef,* maybe book some nice treatments for yourself between now nad your appointment, go for dinner with your DH, maybe a spa with your friends, you need to be kind to yourself and take some time out to grieve, I really do hope things get better for you MrsChef, you truly deserve it xxx   

*Rumplestiltskin*, HUGE congrats on your , amazing news, hope you have a happy and healthy nine months. Keeping everything crossed for you for Wednesday xx let us know how you get on

*MrsRL*, nothing worse than work being a pain on top of everything else, kept myself very busy the past hour and a half & now I've only 2 hours to go, lots to do in those 2 hours aswell so it should fly! Sorry to hear your having a bad day. Have a nice evening when you clock off. 

So much good news today, it is amazing to see it! 

*AFM*: Felt very sick from 11:30 until about 2pm today, it went away and it's now starting to come back again. So tired aswell, can't wait to get home. 2 hours to go


----------



## Melly2015

Hi,

*NotleyAbbey* and *Rumplestilskin*- huge congratulations to you both on your BFPs  , hope everything goes well for you on the next exciting stage of your journey  The others are right, we do need some happy news on this thread.

*Catf2008* , thinking of you, hope you're ok. Really really hope for you that it's not AF, but as MrsRL says- you'll know your body better than anyone else. Sending you hugs 

*Chriskirsty*- hoping for you that af DOES show up!!

Hugs to everyone going through the 2ww at the moment, and hope you're all ok

*Hollywood-* it might not be a bank holiday for you- but at least you'll get one at the end of October!!! I'm Irish, although I live in England and I always feel so jealous of the October one back home... having none between August and Christmas is way too long!!! Hope you're feeling a bit better now. I can't wait to go home either...not too long to go now...

*Mrschef* , sorry to hear you're not feeling great. Hopefully with your next appointment booked, you can start to look forward. It is a really sad time. The woman I go to for acupuncture has told me to "give space to my emotions" over the next while. It's ok to feel down after something like this, it is a big deal, and I don't think we can expect to get over it and back to normal easily.  As Hollywood says- see if you can treat yourself to some nice things over the next while, and the sadness will slowly heal a bit. Does your clinic do any counselling at all? When I rang the nurse last week to tell her about my bfn, I was really upset on the phone, and she suggested I contact one of the counsellors they have for a chat. At first I didn't think it would do much good (it's not as if it's going to suddenly change my bfn result) but now I'm thinking it might help...or at least get my head in a better place to maximise my chances next time.

AFM, had a nice restful weekend- ended up out in the garden in the nice hot sunshine on Saturday (hard to believe, looking at today's weather!) and out for roast dinner yesterday. I'm very up and down still about everything...sometimes I'm ok, and quite positive about everything and sometimes it's all gets me really down. Does anyone here have much experience on how likely frosties are to survive being frozen? We've got 5 blastocyst frosties, but I don't know what the survival rate is for them or how many we might be likely to have FETs with. I also don't know how long my clinic will get me to wait before we can have a FET...I have a follow up consultation with them on 24th September and hoping I won't need to wait too much longer after that. Am also trying to look into what additional supplements I can take which might help with implantation next time...

xxx


----------



## Stini

Hey guys. Project Distracted continues apace, and no sign of AF as yet. The "spot" I mentioned was one on my chin, which always pops up at about this time. I actually have three of the little cuties...
Pregnancy play ENDURED. I did run out at one point in the post show discussion convinced my period had come, and I still feel like that's a ppssibility today, but it hadn't. My poor fella was red-eyed and tense when I got back to him. Also endured: lunch with the pregnant performer amid lots of people wanting to talk about her pregnancy. I'm pretty wobbly today. 

NotleyAbbey & Rumplestiltskin, I am blinking delighted for you both. Rumplestiltskin, I also feel smugly superior to you for having not tested early, just so you know. 
Anyway, much more from me, plus personals, on OTD tomorrow. Don't trust myself to be alone and with Internet access for too long ATM. Love you all. Xxxx


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

You do make me giggle, Stini! Smug superiority heartily deserved  

So glad you've made it through today, it really does sound like a special kind of hell. Been thinking of you stuck there with the pregnancy play and its aftermath. Have some cheers     for generally being awesome


----------



## Holnshaun

Congratulations to Rumplestilskin and Notleyabbey on your BFP!!!!! So happy for you

Hope everyone going through the 2ww are managing to keep busy to take your mind off the wait I know it's hard! Any anyone else hope your all well

I'm 6dp5dt (that's if you class the day after as day 1.... But I've had no symptoms, no spotting or bleed, just slightly sore boobs which happens before Af anyhow......is it a good sign I've had no spotting? Or is is bad, I test Friday but I'm so tempted to before but I'm dreading if it's a bfn! Any advise please, thank you x


----------



## Clairey poppins

Huge congratulations to Noteably Abbie and Rumplestiltskin on your  . Fantastic  news ladies! Wishing you a happy and healthy nine months. X


----------



## Katfish

Hey everyone!

I have been looking at lists on and off over the last couple of days while I've been away as wanting to know what's going on but just not posted! (I left on page 12 and now we are on page 20 so sorry but not going to be many personals!

Firstly Congratulations Chavalar, Rumplestilskin and NotleyAbbey on your BFP's that's amazing news for you both! And anyone else I've missed!

Really sorry to hear some of you aswell having the dreaded AF arriving too!

To Rumplestilskin and Hollywood I've heard that Egg Banking isn't the best either as less chance of them thawing well but thought it's worth asking in Thursday!

AFM - I've had a lovely weekend with the DH for your wedding anniversary very tired and stuffed too! Still had times of feeling down but the AF finally stopped however the spots are awful making me feel very self concious and down! I'm hoping that they clear up soon! I've got my follow up on Thursday really want to know when we can start again! It's also my friends OTD this weekend which I'm feeling nervous for too!


----------



## MrsLondon

A massive congratulation to Rumplestiltskin and NotelyAbbey, so so happy for you.  

Holnshaun, I'm EXACTLY the same as you and now convinced it hasn't happened for me.

Catf really sorry to hear your news.

Sorry for the short post and thank you to all who have asked after me. I'm just not in a good place right now. Have had a melt down two days in a row and even though I know that many women don't have any side effects it doesn't commute in my brian and I am convinced that it will be a BFN for me. Thinking about next steps with our frosties. Has anyone experienced transferring their frozen embies to another clinic? Also just want to ask if is anyone here is London based or South East based that have a clinic that they recommend? Just want to make sure I research fully next time. I know I might be completely jumping the gun but need to do something to help keep me going. 

Love to you all xxx


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## Melly2015

What clinic are you currently with, MrsLondon? Are you based north or south of London? X


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## Chriskirsty

Evening ladies 
Ibe decided to leave ff for a while, I really wanted to finish your journeys with you... I'm just finding it really difficult at the moment and feel really down and upset, even writing this has got me in a state.. I've held it together and this battle with the gp has tipped it over the edge... The clinic won't say it would be beneficial as they don't do them, the go won't do them without a specialists say so it's just so frustrating, apparently 2fsiled cycles and a Chem of isn't enough proof they could be beneficial to me.., totally fed up and feeling very sorry for me and my dh   I just don't believe it's ever Gonna happen... 
I want to wish you all well on your journeys I've got my fingers and toes crossed for you all... 
For those like me who got a bfn I hope to talk with you all again when we cycle.. 
For those who got there bfp congratulations again I'm so happy for you 
You are all amazing ladies and have been so strong and supportive 
Love to you all 
Kirsty 
Xxx


----------



## MrsLondon

Melly- I'm with the Lister, we live in Hertfordshire but can easily commute to London hence why we went with Lister.

ChrisKirsty - I'm so sad to see you go but completely understand where you are coming from. Especially as I've been feeling so rotten myself. If you ever want to a chat you know where we are and feel free to PM me. Your strength has been incredible, remember that as you move forward. Keep going sweetheart you WILL get your BFP.  

Xxx


----------



## Katfish

Sorry to see you leaving ChrisKirsty I know exactly how you feel! I wish you all the best with your future and I hope that you get the tests that you need and want! All the best and maybe bump into you again in another cycle! X x


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## Melly2015

*Kirsty*, I understand completely, and wish you the best with getting what you need done. We're hoping to go for a FET in a couple of months time- so will hopefully chat to you again. Fingers crossed for you and lots of love xx 

*MrsLondon*, we're also in Hertfordshire and going to Bourn Hall clinic. It's called the "Cambridge" Bourn Hall clinic, but it's actually not much further north than Royston. It's only been my first cycle, so I don't have any other experiences to compare them too, but I've had no complaints at all with how we've been treated, the staff there or any part of the process, they've been really good. Obviously it would have been better if I hadn't got a bfn, but I'm definitely going back there for the next round. When I was researching clinics, I couldn't face having to go in and out of London the whole time, and the village we live in doesn't have a train station anyway. I also know some people who have gone to the Herts and Essex clinic and I've not heard any complaints about that one either. Good luck with the research and hopefully you'll get a bfp anyway!!!

xxx


----------



## Little Small

Thinking of you Stini.....everything crossed     xxxx


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## MrsRL

Good morning ladies 

*Stini* - good luck with testing today, thinking of you and keeping everything crossed! 

*Kirsty* - sorry to see you go, this thread won't be the same without you. I understand completely though and hope that the break away from IVF for a bit helps you. I will be thinking of you and looking forward to catching up when you feel able to post again. Feel free to PM me if you ever want a chat. Take care 

*NotleyAbbey* - no worries, I just wondered if you had some information on them lol. We found them ok but we plan to move elsewhere. We originally chose them because they were the nearest clinic to us but we didn't realise that they work together with a clinic in London so EC and ET is there, which was quite stressful getting there. There is also only one nurse, who is lovely, but when she is on leave you have to go to London. Typically af arrived when she was on leave so I had to go there for my day 3 scan and med teach as well. I found the communication between the 2 clinics poor and in particular London didn't call me when they should have to let me know when do the trigger shot, which was very stressful!! We don't want to go to London again so we're looking at other options  We're going to attend some open evenings now that we're self funding. Do you mind me asking where else you looked at as you seem to be in a similar area?  Has it sunk in yet about your bfp? 

*Hollywood* - thanks for your nice words  Yesterday was particularly stressful at work, I hope today isn't as bad! Days like that make me want to seriously look at other jobs! I also had to work together with a pregnant colleague which I found difficult yesterday along with everything else! Hope the sickness is a good sign for you 

*Melly* - I don't know much about FET and the survival rate, but do know that 5 frosties is amazing and they must be great embies as clinics only freeze the best 

*Katfish* - glad af has done one  lovely to hear that you have had a lovely weekend with DH  I hope the spots disappear soon, I have come out in spots too! They're not too awful but I can't seem to get rid of them! Will your friend let you know either way on OTD?

*Holnshaun* - you're not out until af arrives. Not everyone has spotting and everyone's symptoms vary so much. I gave up on symptom spotting in the end, as I had everything under the sun and a lot of it was the pessaries I think. Some ladies have loads of symptoms and get a bfp, whereas others get a bfp with none. Will keep my fingers crossed for you.

*MrsLondon* - sorry you're not in a good place  I hope you don't need to look into other clinics but I've been doing some research into clinics around the south east area, as we're looking to change clinics. I have read good things about Herts & Essex, which might be near you? How come you're thinking of changing clinics? Are you not happy where you are? I hope you're feeling better this morning. Remember you're not out until af arrives and some ladies don't have any symptoms. Will keep my fingers crossed for you too 

Hello to everyone else including *Cinnamon, LittleSmall, MrsChef, June, Catf, Rumplestiltskin, Dotty* and anyone else I have missed. Sorry I have not done personals for everyone but I need to get ready for work 

AFM - DH got his snowballs last night and tried them out lol  I think he was shocked at just how cold they were  Hopefully our vitamins will arrive soon and I'm also looking into the extras I want to take as well. We were discussing that we might need to get a pill box with all these vitamins lol.

Take care everyone, thinking of you all  xx


----------



## Little Small

Fourth time trying to post agggghhhhh!!

MrsRL...try Bourn Hall. They've been amazing from first seminar to latest scan, receptionist to consultant. Really can't recommend then highly enough. Think they've just introduced money back policy for self funders too. Xxx


----------



## MrsLondon

Morning!! Thinking of you Stini really hoping of good news.

Melly - thank you, I had a look at the clinic you mentioned but it's around a 50min drive so probably too far for me. We looked at Herts and Essex and even went to their open evening. They were our 2nd choice but we didn't go with them as The Lister specialise in women with a low ovarian reserve which I have and when I spoke to someone at Herts and Essex they were already mentioning the use of donor eggs before even giving me a go with my own. Apart from that they were great, it's only 30mins in the car from our house and much more cost effective. Plus they have embryo glue which Lister doesn't use.

MrsRL - thank you, I'm feeling loads better today. We were going to use Herts and Essex before we went to see Lister, I really liked them but as I said to Melly due to my AMH we went with Lister in the end. They have been really good but you don't see the same consultant for EC and ET it's who evers working which is fine but I just felt my initial consultation was really rushed and when I asked about getting the scratch i was fobbed off. Even at ET when I asked whether I should take anything for my immunes as I have a really good immune system usually,  I NEVER get sick which is why I couldn't believe my luck that I actually fell ill after ET I was fobbed off again. The nurses were great and they did monitor me loads, but I just felt lack of love from the docs. 
Your post made me giggle re snowballs. But if it works then happy days   glad you're moving forward and seem happy.

AFM I've woken up really happy today, it's like I'm on drugs and a completely different person 😕. AF is due today so I don't know if that's why and that usually does happen I'm really crappy before AF and then my mood brightens up when it comes. Hoping that it stays away, might even feel a bit optimistic if it does.

Hope you all have lovely day. Xxx


----------



## Stini

Hi ladies. Thanks for all the well-wishes. We're on our way to the clinic just now - trying to decide whether to buy a test for later or not. I think on the whole I'd rather not hear down the phone, you know?

Had a nice couple of days offline (despite the constant OMG AF IS HERE!!!!1!!!1! panicking anytime my progesterone got a bit, er, mobile). There was sun, I was wandering around Edinburgh in the middle of the thistledown, and there was thistledown flying about everywhere - we kept catching it and making wishes on it, and just the sight of it was enough to make me feel calm.

I went to an amazing concert last night, too - Franz Ferdinand teamed up with Sparks. It was stomping and brilliant and made me very happy. I really needed that, because I've been pretty overwhelmingly sad (usually worst between 3-7pm, as I'm taking the progesterone at 7am and 7pm).

I have absolutely no idea what's going to happen now. I have symptoms that could be both, or neither.

*MrsRL*: my fella feels very guilty that Snowballs are now being enforced on other men due to his success. He says "Make sure the men don't know it was me. I don't need the angry tweets."

*MrsLondon*: So glad you're feeling better, m'dear. Having had the sads pretty much all week, I feel ya. xxx

Right. Will let you know later. NB, how smug am I that I made it to OTD? Actually, after feeling like I just desperately wanted a resolution all week, I'm now quite happy with continuing not to know for as long as possible!


----------



## hollywood130

Morning Ladies, happy Tuesday.

That is true *Melly*, I love the October one, it breaks things up. It must be awful long for you guys waiting until Christmas. Sounds like you had a lovely weekend, could do with some sunshine in our parts, we've had the worst summer ever. You've got lots of frosties, that is fantastic, I'd love to have some even one but no such luck. Fingers crossed the clinic won't make you wait too long. I think the norm is 3 months but don't hold me to that. I also think thawing figures are good so I wouldn't worry too much about that.

*Stini* you're so funny!!! How did you get through that play, you are amazing, fair play to you. Hoping for good news from you this morning, keeping everything crossed for you 

Sorry *Holnshaun*, I've no idea what to say to you, I had no spotting, yesterday I was 10dp3dt and I had (tmi ahead) really brown, thick bits come out last night along with the progesterone, that's all I've had, I'm not sure what this means either. I would suggest holding out until Friday, at least then you can be sue of the result, but I'm a total scaredy cat when to comes to testing anyone so I'm not not a good person to comment 

Very glad to hear you had a lovely weekend *Katfish*, that was exactly what you needed. At least it's not long until your follow up appointment and from there you can start planning for your next round, wishing you all the luck in the world xxx 

Sorry to read you are having a rough time *MrsLondon*, I hope you have a better day today&#8230;. Oops just reading your other post, so glad to hear you woke up happy today, that is great news, , hoping AF stays away and your happy mood stays with you 

*Kirsty*, I am sorry to see you go but most definitely understand why you need to, I hope you get answers soon from your clinic and you sort out the lack of AF, really hope everything is ok. I wish you all the luck in the world for the future and hoping you soon get your bfp xxx take care of yourself 

*MrsRL*, hope today is a better day at work for you with less stress and less pregnancies around you. That's great that you are on the road to your next cycle, at least you can focus on what's to come 

*AFM*:WARNING TMI  Last night around 11:30 when I went to the loo and wiped a lot of the pessaries came out which can be expected BUT with it came a lot of brown, it did look like old blood but I suppose it was rolled in with the progesterone so it's hard to know what it is, this morning was the same but not as much, it'll be interesting to see what happens when I go to the loo with no progesterone coming out&#8230; Today I am 14dpo so I'm afraid it could be the start of AF, today is when it could rare its ugly head right?


----------



## MrsRL

Thanks for that MrsSmall, I will look into it. I think it might be quite far away though for us unfortunately


MrsLondon - so glad you're feeling happy today  hope af stays away   Sorry to hear you weren't overly happy with your experience at times, I had that at mine as well at some points as I felt like my worries weren't being listened too, particularly as our main issue is male factor so they ignored any concerns I had about me. I did have the scratch, not sure what difference it made but I would have it again. I have also been looking into embryo glue and it is something I want to try for another cycle. Glad my post made you giggle anyway   hope you have a good day  when is otd for you? 

Good luck stini!!! I would have to test myself at home as well but that just be me. Haha I'm sure dh doesn't blame your DH, he said he would try anything  glad you had a great time last night!  keep us updated!

xx


----------



## MrsRL

Hollywood  - sorry our posts crossed. Thank you for your lovely words   Hope your day goes ok too  brown blood is old blood so hopefully nothing to worry about, I think the pessaries can cause spotting as well so try not to worry about it.  I really hope af stays away.

xx


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

Way to build suspense, Stini!!!! You're killing me! (In all seriousness, good luck, really rooting for you!)

ChrisKirsty, as everyone's said, I'm really sorry to see you go, but you're right to do whatever you need to protect yourself at the moment. Thinking of you  

Melly, are you the one who was asking about how quickly you can cycle again after a bfn? Just wanted to say that I started straight away - my first "true" AF after my bfn in June was day one of my current cycle. I read a research paper that looked into waiting, since people were concerned about ovaries recovering etc, and clinics were generally asking people to wait 3-6 months between cycles, but they found that there was no difference at all in success rates if you waited to start again or not. So it's really just down to how you feel about it, and whether you want time off or not.


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## hollywood130

Thanks for your post *MrsRL*, it really helped put my mind at ease, I've also been to the loo twice and there has been nothing when I wiped. Time to calm down and try to not think about it. It really is getting harder as the week is going on.


----------



## Chavalar

Thank you Katfish 

Good luck Stini

Noteably Abbie and Rumplestiltskin congratulations, brilliant news.


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## Stini

BFP for me. In tears now (we also had a moment of panic where because of the angle of the Clearblue on the bedside cabinet we could see the word "not" alongside "pregnant 2-3wks". Thanks world: extra emotional roller coaster at the last minute was *exactly* what I needed today). 
To be honest, my body's been telling me this for the last few days, but I've been drowning it out so as not to get hurt again: my sense of smell has been all over the place, the sads I was getting seemed lower and weirder than usual, the boobs have been cramping on and off, and I think I just *knew*. Anyway, we still have to get to the scan, and we've been here before. One day at a time.

Hollywood: that's great that the bleed has stopped. Probably just some scarring from somewhere. Xx


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## Skye83

Congrats Stini on your  !! Xx


----------



## MrsRL

HUGE congratulations Stini, I am thrilled for you         Your prep for 3 months really paid off  here's to a happy healthy 8/9 months 

Hollywood - so pleased to hear the spotting has stopped, hope that's it now and af keeps away 

xx


----------



## mrschef04

Holy crap, Stini!  That's great!  Congratulations on your BFP!!!! xxxxxx


----------



## MrsLondon

Whoop whoooo Stini, get in ol' girl!!! So so SOOOOOOOOO happy for you. Out with a friend at the moment but been checking my phone awaiting your news. Xxx


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

YAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!! So pleased for you, Stini!!!!! Ah-MAHZ-ing!!!!!     

2-3 weeks on the ClearBlue sounds like there's a good high amount of hcg - maybe twins  

So amazingly pleased for you! 

I know the you're-not-out-of-the-woods-yet feeling, but keeping everything crossed for a happy outcome


----------



## hollywood130

*Stini* that is amazing news, huge congrats to you, aw you must be so happy, wishing you a very happy and healthy 9 months xx


----------



## Clairey poppins

Huge congratulations Stini, wishing you a healty and happy 9 months. X


----------



## mrschef04

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to thank you for all of your support through everything.  I am also leaving this board.  We have decided to quit IVF completely and not have children.  It's a roller coaster that we both believe isn't worth it and we don't think it's going to work at all.  We won't be going through with our other rounds.

I won't be posting anymore, as I kind of want to move on from all of this nightmare.  We knew from the onset that it wouldn't really work, but after one IVF cycle with pretty crap statistics, we definitely know we're wasting our time.

Thank you and I wish you all the best of luck!  xxx


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

MrsChef, it's been really lovely meeting you on here. You've been through absolute hell with this cycle, but you've stayed lovely and supportive to all the other ladies. You are a strong, fabulous, talented lady, and I really wish you and you DH a happy future together. 

Life definitely doesn't turn out as planned, but you've handled all this awfulness with real grace, and hope that taking control of the situation brings you some peace. 

Good luck, my dear


----------



## Stini

*MrsChef*, I'll miss you hugely, although I totally understand. I think you're brilliant, and like Rumplestiltskin says it's been an absolute pleasure getting to know you. xxxx


----------



## Clairey poppins

Aww Mrs Chef it's sad to see you go but, I undersatand your decision. Thank you for your lovely messages of support and words of encouragement it's really helped me along my way. It's been lovely to have met you on here. Wishing you well along your next journey in life where ever it takes you and what ever it brings along the way. Xx


----------



## MrsLondon

Mrs Chef - I am so sorry to see you go. You've been an amazing support to everyone on here and your strength has been inspirational. I totally get where you're coming from. Who know what the future might bring? A natural miracle maybe. Wishing you the best of luck for the future whatever that might be. Love and babydust always xxx


----------



## hollywood130

*MrsChef*, I am definitely sorry to see you go, it really was a pleasure to meet you, I totally understand why you would need to get off here. I wish you and your DH all the best for the future, I hope you have a wonderful life together. Thank you for all your support over the past couple of weeks, it really has helped me through and the rest of the ladies on here.


----------



## cinnamon75

*MrsChef* I'm sorry to hear you are leaving us too, but happy to hear you will now be following all those amazing dreams you and your DH have! I may pop into your DHs restaurant one day or read one of your reviews from a great little restaurant in Cambodia or Rio De Janeiro....   

*Stini, NotleyAbbey, Rumpkestiltskin and everyone else with BFPs*   

*Stini* sounds like twins to me!  

*MrsLondon* thinking of you 

*Kirsty* I've probably missed you as I'm late seeing this but I'm sorry to hear you're leaving us too and I hope we bump into each other again xxx

*Hollywood, MrsRL, Chavalar, ClaireyPoppins, LittleSmall, June, Skye, Dotty and everyone else I've missed* HUGE hello from me and I hope you are all doing well 

AFM, struggling if I'm honest. I feel guilty saying this when I know how lucky I am to get that elusive BFP  I was not prepared for the unknown territory of very early pregnancy and the fear that accompanies it. You know that feeling when you think AF has started (cramps and a feeling down below of passing cervical fluid - sorry TMI) well I have been having that all week and it's blooming terrifying. I've spent so long trying not to get my hopes up about being pregnant that I feel lost now 

I had my Skype consultation with Gennet in Prague today. They seem lovely and totally understand why I'm still planning to cycle with them if this doesn't last. They have asked me to let them know the results of my first scan on September 15th. Feels like ages away


----------



## hollywood130

Cinnamon, so sorry to hear that you are unable to enjoy early pregnancy, keeping everything crossed for you that everything will be ok and I'm sure it will. The worry is never ending is it, it's so hard. I'm 11dp3dt and 14dpo and I'm off to the loo every so often checking to see if AF has arrived, thankfully it seems to just be the pessaries but as OTD is drawing close I'm getting more and more worried, not good for the embies I'm sure but I can't help it! Sorry I've started ranting. Thinking of you and praying all goes ok for you xxx


----------



## cinnamon75

Thanks Hollywood. I don't mean to bring a downer on all the positive news on here lately, but I suppose I wanted to explain a little why I'm not on here much at the moment. I'm trying to take my mind off it all but that's very hard when you are constantly reminded by the cramps  

I have everything crossed for you and MrsLondon. You are both doing so well and the August cycle buddies are on a roll at the moment!!   Don't want to get your hopes up but that's got to be a promising sign that 14dpo AF hasn't showed up yet  . Not long now until OTD... you've done so well to refrain from testing. I wasn't tempted at all during my 2ww but since then I've done one every other day and today I did two because I freaked myself out by getting a lighter line on a cheapie so had to do another to settle my mind!!   Doh! 

Does everyone else have blood tests done for their beta/HCG results? My clinic don't do it


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

My clinic don't do bloods, I don't think, cinnamon. They've never mentioned it, and never done it on any of my previous cycles. I really wish they did. 

I know what you mean about the worry, though - you can't believe it's happened at all, so you can't believe it will stay. I have to keep telling myself it's fine, it's all fine. I wonder if women who get pregnant naturally worry this much? I guess some must do. 

I'm also freaking myself out repeat testing, and trying decide if the line is darker or not...but tomorrow is my last FRER, so that might enforce a break for a while, if I don't buy any more of them...


----------



## MrsLondon

Cinnamon- try not to worry as I'm sure everything you're feeling is completely natural and after everything you've been through of course you're going to worry. All you can try and do is relax and try to do something to take your mind off it. It will be ok, you've got this far keep positive lovely. Also I read somewhere that loads of CM is normal in early pregnancy. 

Hollywood - I'm the same, had a complete melt down yesterday and then woke up today fresh as daisy. Been planning next steps as I'm pretty much sure that it hasn't worked. AF due today and have been to the toilet loads watching out for it. Had my usual bubbling sensation that I get right before AF a little while ago. Also the fact that my mood has dramatically brighten up too makes me feel that it's just a matter of time before AF appears. I have no words of wisdom I'm afraid except keep calm and positive until you know for sure. You've done so well and Friday is it? will be here soon enough. Keeping everything crossed for you lovely.

Rumplestiltskin - can I ask where you are based please? Just thinking about the future and trying to research other clinics. 

AFM - today for two hours when the carpet man came to discuss our new carpets I felt normal for the first time in ages. Laughing and joking about house prices, areas to buy in and jobs, just silly things really made me reflect on how much this has taken over the last 5 weeks of my life. Actually glad to be going back to work next week and getting back to normal. 


Xxx


----------



## Sally1108

Cinnamon I am completely like you - overwhelmed and feeling like the luckiest person in the world but scared to death about everything! My clinic do not do betas and I don't think this helps - by the time I am booked in for early scan I will be 8 weeks ! I was expecting 5-7 weeks to keep us calm as no betas. I have been testing every day! costing a fortune!!!

I spend each day drifting from total happiness to total fear. DH wont even acknowledge we are pregnant until 12 week scan as he is scared of us both getting hurt. 

Just had today a very close friend of mine who has babies just by looking at DH lose her 3rd at 20 weeks. He was born and to early to survive. 

When is it that us IVF ladies will enjoy pregnancy? As I don't think this worry will leave me until it arrives 


CONGRATS to all of the ladies on here with the BFPS especially stini who kept us in suspense for what feels like a week! lol I have been following but not writing x x x


----------



## Skye83

Mrschef, thanks for all you're kind words and wishing you the best of luck for the future. Lots of love xx


----------



## hollywood130

The dreaded brown stuff is back, again no idea what it is but it just seems to be coming out with the pessaries. Just really really hoping it doesn't get heavier or turn to red.   

*MrsLondon*, it is Friday but I'm holding out until Saturday because my friend is getting married on Friday, praying AF doesn't turn up before that or the wedding will be a real struggle for me. Glad you are feeling better, I'd love to be like that right now, looking forward to getting home soon and just relaxing, it'll be good just to be out of work to be honest.

*Sally* I feel the exact same way as you and I haven't even gotten to OTD yet. Best of luck t oyou Sally, hope you can start to enjoy your pregnancy very soon. My DP is convinced it has worked, I really hope he is right for both our sakes, this is such a hard journey.

Hope all you 2ww'ers are doing ok and everyone else regardless of what you are facing today x


----------



## Dotty80

Congratulations on those with BFPs! Am so pleased for you, and good to know there's hope for the rest of us.

And thank-you all for your kind words. I wish I knew people in real life who understood the while process. My friends have been great, but they just don't understand all the worries and issues around TTC with IVF rather than naturally.

I did a first response early response today (8dp5dt) and is most definitely negative so know for certain I'm out now. Am so so sad, as I can't afford another cycle, even egg sharing (because I always have the additional cost of donor sperm), so keep just having flash-forwards to me in years time as a childless spinster  

Right.  Where is the vodka?!
Xxx


----------



## MrsLondon

Oh Dotty, don't be sad. You haven't had AF yet? Also 8dp5dt still might be a little early? Aren't you supposed to wait at least 9? Don't give up yet and also who knows what the future will bring. Love and hugs to you xxx


----------



## Stini

Dotty, that's definitely too early to know, and I'm a bit skeptical of First Response tests anyway. It's not over yet! Xxx


----------



## Katfish

MrsRL thanks I'm really hoping so! Glad I'm not alone in it again though! I'm not sure I am sure she will tell me but will have to wait and see! Glad your DH is enjoying his snowballs!

Hollywood! hopefully it's just old blood from implantation and nothing more!

Stini that's amazing news! Good luck for your scan!

MrsChef so sorry to hear that you are leaving us! I wish you all the best in whatever your life will bring! You have been though so so much! And your very very strong well done you!

Cinnamon I'm hoping that the 5th September flys by for you! My clinic also don't do beta tests they only use pregnancy tests!

Dotty please try not to worry how long until your OTD? Like MrsLondon and Stini said day 8 is still too soon really! http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=47703.0 look at this link! After a day 5 transfer it will not be until day 9 that there will be enough to detect!

AFM - found out today that my sister is being re admitted into hospital tomorrow for her serve anorexia!! I already the day before my OTD discovered she had been in A&E due to blood issues and them being concerned with her heart! I know it's for the best but causes an added stress which I don't really need! On the other hand getting closer and closer to our appointment hoping to get some answers and dates!


----------



## Clairey poppins

Dotty, please don't give up I'm sure 8 days is to early. I had a four day blastocyst transfer on Saturday and my OTD isn't until 7th of September which will be a 16 day wait. X


----------



## MrsRL

Evening lovely ladies 

*MrsChef* - so sorry to see you go, but I totally understand. You have been such an amazing lady and it has been lovely sharing this journey with you. You have provided some amazing support to everyone in this cycle buddies thread. I wish you all the very best for the future, whatever that may hold. Take care of yourself and DH. xx

*Cinnamon* - sorry to hear you're struggling. I have never been in your position but I can totally understand it. If I got a bfp, I would be on constant knicker watch and probably not believe it until I was about to pop. It's not surprising after all we have been through to feel like this. I really hope you have nothing to worry about and that you go on to have a very happy/healthy 8/9 months but I know the worry never ends! I am the sort of person that can look at things in a pessimistic way, as a way to preserve myself I think so can certainly see where you're coming from. I hope your scan soon comes around so that hopefully you can start to enjoy the pregnancy a bit more. I didn't get a bfp but if I had, my clinic don't do blood tests either  I don't understand it! Can you go to the doctors and ask for it?

*MrsLondon* - glad to hear you had some time feeling 'normal' once again  Hope that continues through the rest of the 

*Sally* - sorry to hear you're also feeling overwhelmed/scared. It's not surprising after everything you have been through! So sorry to hear about your friend, that must have been awful  Hope you can start to enjoy pregnancy soon.

*Hollywood* - sorry to hear the brown has returned, really hope it's nothing to worry about and it doesn't turn red   

*Dotty *- sorry to hear you're feeling sad. Please don't give up hope yet, as others have said it is still early and I have also heard of late implantation too. It's not over for you yet.

*Katfish* - sorry to hear about your sister, I really hope she will be ok. It must be very stressful for you. Your appointment will soon be here and hopefully you'll get some answers 

*Claireypoppins* - how is the 2ww for you? Hope you're doing ok.

hello to everyone else and hope you're all ok 

AFM - not much to report, DH is starting to get used to his snowballs on his second day   Work was manic again, quite stressful, but not quite as bad as yesterday! I'm looking forward to the long weekend!

xx


----------



## Catf2008

Hello ladies 

I hope you are all doing well, I'm so sorry I haven't been in here the last few days but we are been trying to get our head around things, I've been having bleeding on and off, sometimes heavy, sometimes light, a few clots so we guessed it was over, my official test is not till Friday but we wanted to put it to bed today (so to speak) so we done an Internet cheapie test and I'm very shocked to say it's a BFP. I'm in total shock, I can't even let the hospital know till Friday but I'm not getting excited, I'm taking each day as it comes and until I have my baby in my arms I'm convinced it will go wrong.

I'll try and catch up with you all later


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## MrsRL

*Catf* - I just wanted to say I'm so happy for you getting a bfp, I hope the bleeding stops soon and is nothing to worry about. Could it be implantation bleeding? I hope you get your bfp on OTD too and go on to have a successful pregnancy. Will keep everything crossed for you xx


----------



## Catf2008

Thank you MrsRL I'm taking each day as it comes and to be honest I'm never really going to relax & it seems to be following suit of my first pregnancy and that ended in a miscarriage so I'm not getting to excites at the moment more scared it will go wrong again


----------



## Clairey poppins

Morning MrsRL, 

Aww bless you thanks for asking after me.  

I'm doing ok thanks, I have my moments like everyone one this journey dose but I'm trying to remain very positive. I'm petrified of AF arriving today. I'm like clock work every 28 days so I'm just keeping everything crossed and praying it doesn't arrive.  

Oh are you doing my lovely?


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

Catf, congratulations, keeping everything crossed that your BFP sticks!

Just a quick post from me today; it's OTD, and it's still a good strong BFP! Feel like I can breathe again! So, now it's official, *Sharry* can you update me on the front page, please? I had ICSI, started stims on 29th July, and it's BFP  thank you!


----------



## Catf2008

Thank you rumplestiltskin & congrats on your BFP


----------



## MrsRL

*Catf* - I hope that little embie sticks 

*Rumplestiltskin* - HUGE congratulations on your strong     

*Claireypoppins* - I really hope af stays away    The 2ww is hard, but it's good that you're remaining positive  when is OTD? I'm ok thank you, work is a pain at the moment but there's no IVF news for me really.

xx


----------



## Clairey poppins

Aww Mrs RL  I'm sorry to hear work I hard at the moment for you.  i hope things become a little easier at work for you soon. Sending you hugs.  
I have to think myself so lucky that I've had the 6 week holiday off and am not due to go back until the 1st September but that all depends on what the GP says this morning.  When I start back at work I'll be working on a 1:1 basis with a 4 year old little boy who has special needs and is quite physical. What I mean by that is he hits, kicks and pushes people either in their backs or stomach. I know it not his fault and it's his condition. My clinic have advised me to get signed off until after the 2ww and get something sorted with work so I'm off to see what my GP says. Can't imagen a sick note will go down well at work but tough, I'm putting myself first for once! I've not come this far to jepodise anything on this long emotional journey. 
My official testing date isn't untill September the 7th which will be 16 days after embryo transfer so I guess I really should be on the September board but just don't want to leave everyone, we've all come a long way since July when I joined you all. 
I hope you have a better day today
Claire. X


----------



## hollywood130

*Dotty* it's definitely not over yet, maybe hcg hasn't risen yet, give it until OTD and test then, don't give up 

*Katfish* I'm hoping it's nothing to worry about too, I'm really sorry to hear about your sister, that can't be easy and it is very stressful, hope everything is ok. It won't be long now until you appointment and I hope you get some positive answers and can move on with planning your next cycle. 

Thank You *MrsRL*, I just hope AF isn't trying to come and the progesterone is keeping it at bay, hope my little ones are confy in there right now. I'm looking forward to my long weekend too even though Friday is going to be a heck of a long day at this wedding.

*Catf* that is amazing, your post has really helped me too because I'm having spotting since yesterday, it was a bit more fluid like today, very brown and I feel like it's all over but after reading your post, maybe it's not. Huge congrats on your BFP, that is amazing news, I wish you a very happy and healthy pregnancy.

Great news *Rumplestiltskin*, congrats again, yes you can most definitely breathe!

*AFM*: More spotting today, it was a bit heavier this morning, only when I wipe so far though, not needing a panty liner just yet. Had very bad pains in my stomach when I got up, like my ovaries were screaming at me, wasn't sure if I was going to make work but I'm here now and the pain seems to be disappearing. Afraid to go to the loo. I know spotting can happen but I'm just afraid this is the spotting I normally get the day before AF arrives. I'm so scared I was even dreaming last night I got my period and I was in tears in the dream. This is such a struggle. Too much time for thinking, I'm finding it really tough right now. I should have stayed home today! Sorry for the rant, I'm not feeling positive at all today


----------



## MrsLondon

Hollywood I feel you girl, having a terrible day myself today. Maybe being at work will help take your mind of things? I'm stuck at home but going to meet a friend in a bit who recently told me that she was pregnant. Don't know how that's going to effect me....big hugs babe and if you need to go home just fake that you're sick. Thinking of you.

CatF - praying that your BFP continues and the bleeding stops.

Katfish- so sorry to hear about your sister, but you're right the hospital is the best place for her. Anorexia is so horrible, I really wish for her to get better. Glad it's getting closer to your follow up, answers should hopefully help you more forward even more.

ClaireyPoppins - yes don't leave! You're one of us and we're all routing for you. Do you think your school could move you so you support someone a little less challenging? Glad you're trying to stay positive.

AFM like Hollywood I am having a terrible day. Spent the best part of 20mins sobbing earlier. Still zero syptoms apart from minor AF cramps yesterday, boobs not sore, feel completely "physically" normal. Can anyone fill me in with what happens after BfN, do you stop taking the pessaries straight away? How soon does AF tend to arrive after then? Obviously my AF might make an appearance before OTD but I was just wondering. Going to see a friend for lunch so hopefully I'll cheer up by then....she's pregnant but very understanding of our situation so hopefully it won't be too bad.

Love to everyone else xxx


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

MrsLondon and Hollywood, so sorry you guys are struggling today. 2ww is such torture.  

I really hope that it's not a BFN for either of you, but in answer to your question, MrsLondon, for me, AF arrives pretty quickly after stopping the pessaries. On my first cycle, I was one pessary short (I dropped one down the loo!), so only had the morning one on the last day before OTD, and I started to bleed that evening. On my second cycle, AF started the day after OTD. You just stop taking them - you don't have to tail them off or anything. If it helps, my boobs haven't been sore at all this time, and when my SIL got her IVF BFP she was totally symptomless, too. I don't think you can read too much into symptoms or lack thereof. Everyone's bodies are so different.


----------



## hollywood130

So my brown spotting has now just turned red, I feel so deflated right now, it really does feel like AF, don’t know how I’m going to get through the rest of this day at work, just want to go home and cry.  I might need to do the whole sick thing, I’ll see how I go until lunch time.  I feel like it’s all over, AF will most likely be here tonight or first thing in the morning


----------



## Katfish

Catf2008 congrats on your BFP fingers crossed that it stays that way and that the bleeding stops! 

Rumplestiltskin congrats once again on your BFP it looks like the end of August is being lucky for everyone!

ClaireyPoppins I think the best thing for you to do is whatever you feel best! I really regret going back to work so soon after EC and look at the pains caused from that which where on going after ET could have influenced my BFN! I'm sure the clinic will tell me otherwise tomorrow but doesn't stop me clawing at myself inside about it! 

Hollywood thank you at least she's walking in there herself this time last time she was sectioned! sorry that your bleeding has turned red! Have you contacted your clinic? How long till your OTD? I would make an excuse at work if I where you as the last thing you want to do is try and hold it together around others!

MrsLondon thank you for your wishes! Please try not to worry you have a BFN! My AF arrived the evening of my OTD and I bleed for about a week!! Quite painful at the beginning then ok after that! I've got endometriosis so that doesn't help with the pain! I took the pessary the morning of the test then stopped! Was going to do it that evening as clinic suggested to retest the next morning as I had been on a night shift but when I was about to do it I'd already started bleeding! Hopefully you will not be going through this!


----------



## Skye83

Hi all

Congrats Catf, fingers crossed for you!

Think it's one if those days MrsLondon! I too feel a little helpless today, nearly halfway through 2ww and trying to think positively but it is really difficult! Enjoy your lunch and hope you feel a bit brighter later x

Clairypoppins, put yourself first and try not to worry about work! x

Hollywood, fingers crossed it's just spotting , I have read that lots of women have spotting and still get their BFP x

Love to everyone else on the thread x


----------



## Stini

Oh *Hollywood*, sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts. I think you should totally go home, get into your jammies, and just give yourself some cosy time. We don't give ourselves enough of a break through this process.  xxxx

*MrsLondon*: crying and sadness was one of my symptoms - don't give up.

*Cinnamon*: Cramping is normal for first few weeks, I am assured by my wise IVF mentor pal, who has been holding my hand through the last few days. I'm cramping away too. I know what you mean - there's a tightness in my tummy every time we start a bit of advanced daydreaming (my fella just tried to start a conversation about whose office gets turned into a nursery and I got really tense and worried about jinxing things). How are you feeling today? I'm just hoping to get to the end of the week with no bleeding, and then we'll see about going further. My scan is a couple of days after yours - the way I'm getting through it right now is telling myself that by the end of the week, it will only be a fortnight, and remembering how quickly the last fortnight went.

*Catf2008*: Congratulations, love!      Crikey, your emotions must be all over the place today you poor thing. xxx

*ClaireyPoppins*: I second what Skye says. You've got to come first just now, and there's no shame in doing that at times like this. I feel so sorry for people in caring jobs at times like this - much easier for the likes of me to take time off without feeling guilty.

AFM: Beta came back at 307 SHUT UP IT'S NOT TWINS and the clinic are very happy with that - I'm going to be left to my own devices till first scan on the 17th. Just me and the inside of my big paranoid brain. Good-oh.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

*MrsChef*, if you're reading this - I know you don't want to hear from us, but you're very much missed. I'd love to be able to PM you again but totally understand that you might want a complete severance. xxx


----------



## Melly2015

Hi, 
Just a very quick one from me.

*Catf*- that's brilliant news, really hoping this turns out well for you and the bleeding dies down. 

*MrsLondon*, *Hollywood*, *Skye83* and anyone else on 2ww, I am thinking of you all- the 2ww really is the most horrible, nerve-racking time ever.

*MrsLondon*, I had a bfn, and when I rang the clinic on OTD to tell them, they told me to stop taking the progesterone- but this was also because AF had arrived too. IF I had got a bfn and AF hadn't arrived, they would have told me to continue with the progesterone and do another test a week later. My AF arrived 2 days before OTD. I guess it differs between clinics- mine had given me a list of what to do in the case of different scenarios. Hopefully this won't happen you anyway! Fingers crossed for you... 

*Hollywood*- I really feel for you too. I'm really really REALLY hoping for you that it's not AF. I was in work when AF arrived. I wasn't really able to go home, and in some ways work took my mind off it a bit, but then I also had to sit through a meeting- which I didn't take in a word of and just felt empty and numb. Everybody is different, and you will know what works best for you. If you feel you want to go home- then go. It's a stressful process and you need to look out for yourself. Some people have had bleeding and gone on to get a bfp- so hopefully this might happen for you. 

*Katfish*- I'm similar to you in that I keep running over how I felt and what I did for every part of the process to try and work out what went wrong and what I can do different next time. Mental torture, isn't it?

xx


----------



## Holnshaun

Hollywood i really hope its Not AF!! Got my fingers crossed for you!! 

I went in boots earlier for some moisturiser and saw the clear blue tests so i thought ill pick it up now for OTD day... Im.8dp5dt and i tested when i got home....it was a BFN test day is 29th...i actually thought that was friday and its not its saturday!! Could this still be too early ? And change to a BFP by Sat?? Xx


----------



## mrschef04

Hey *Stini*, thanks honey. I was reading a couple of posts on here this morning to check and I felt I needed to at least say something to them. I'm not severing stuff on here, but just need to feel a bit better. I felt pretty hollow for a week after my AF came. I couldn't even cry or smile. It just felt like it knocked the life out of me. So felt I needed a little bit of a break. I'm so darned happy for you, my dearest friend! These BFPs for you guys are great. At the same time, I'd wished my journey hadn't ended, but on the other hand, I'm relieved not to feel so tense and focused on it all the time. I'm used to being an active person in life, but the whole month of IVF I just felt isolated form my normal friends and just couldn't do much.

*Hollywood* don't cry honey. Hold in there. You never know with these things. Catf had some bleeding too and from my obsessive FF research, it has happened for a lot of women. Hang in there and try and keep your mind on other things as much as possible. I think the best thing you can do is try and finish the day out at work to keep your mind busy and then if anything happens, take tomorrow off work. Big hugs to you honey.

*MrsLondon* my bleeding was lighter before BFN. Once I stopped the pessaries, it came full on flow. Normally my period lasts for three days and this time, it lasted for 7 days before I was finished. Hang in there honey.

*Catf* that is such absolutely amazing news.. Thinking of you and hoping for you with all my might!

AFM - I'm back on my diet and my exercise. I'm now starting to integrate back into society and doing things again. DH and I had a fight on Monday night and mainly just because I was still so depressed and anxious. We're holding off on anymore planning for IVF, but have our follow up appointment booked in eight weeks time in October, so we have time to grieve and relax. I felt so sad and so empty and it made it worse reading about BFPs and everyone still on the 2ww. The whole thing finishing was a big blow and I couldn't smile or cry. I would sit for hours, just staring at a wall and feeling empty. I just felt I was so overly focused on IVF and everything else was non-existent. Even my DH said that he's so happy because we can go back to just loving each other and making each other happy instead of all that crap (the make up sex was great after three weeks of having none!). I was the most depressive and anxious person on IVF drugs. But even then, if you do get pregnant, it's another ball game of being anxious and worried about if it will last. I saw the couple of posts on here to check and couldn't help but wanted to give you big hugs and encouragement. I'll keep an eye on all of you and sending you nothing but love and hugs.


----------



## Dotty80

Nice to see some more BFPs on here.  

For those still waiting, I have everything crossed for you.

Those with BFNs , I really feel for you. And to keep coming on here and supporting others must take a lot, I've got a lot of respect for you.

I got another bfn this morning . Now 9dp5dt so think it really is the end. Have started bleeding today too, only light spotting at the mo, but that's normallly how my AF starts so am expecting to be in full flow by tomorrow. Am still really sad, crying and just feeling hopeless. This is so hard!!


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## Clairey poppins

Thank you for your reasuring words, advice and support, Mrs RL, Mrs London, catfish, sky83 and Stini.  
My GP was lovely, very supportive and reasuring. Without hesitation you signed me off for two weeks which will take me to the 9th of September 2 days after my official test date and then she wants a review with me and said she will sign me off longer if needed especially if the head hasn't put changes in place. 
Just to tell my head now I won't be back for the start of tearm. Stuff it, it's his problem and not mine. I'm not stressing over it and I'm remaining in my positive bubble. Work can do one!


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## Stini

*Holnshaun*: way too early, plus you've got to use them on the first pee of the morning if it's before OTD! Don't worry. x
*
ClaireyPoppins*: Glad to hear that's a weight off your mind. Oh, you must feel so relaxed!

*MrsChef*: oh hello you!  You and your fella have a beautiful relationship, and it's so blimming good to see you beginning to feel more like your lovely, active, positive and brilliant self again. Do you think you can just put it all on pause until your follow-up, and just enjoy being the two of you again? Some of my favourite memories with my bloke are from the period in between cycles when we weren't thinking about TTC at all. Please don't be a stranger, although I completely get that you'd want not to be around this chat just now. xxx

*Dotty*: I'm so sorry to hear that. Obviously you know your body, but there's still a big margin for error at 9dpt... xxx


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## Katfish

Stini that's great news! Good luck for your scan!

Melly yes it's definitely mental torture!

Holnshaun it not until day 9 after a day 5 transfer that a test is meant to pick up anything! So yes probs still too soon! http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=47703.0 and like Stini said it has to be your first wee in the morning as it's much more concentrated! 

Dotty when's OTD hopefully it's not all over for you!

ClaireyPoppins glad that your GP has signed you off! Hopefully that will help you stop stressing about it too!


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## Dotty80

OTD is Sunday, but that's pretty late. Would love to think I'm not out, but think by now I should have at least a faint line if it was to be positive. And cramps and backache indicate AF (although backache is a new one to me...but who knows what these drugs have done to my insides!)


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## hollywood130

Morning ladies, it's definitely a BFN for me, tested this morning at 13dp3dt and the line was a most definite a negative. Can't believe this has happened, AF is here with a vengeance. I know we'll try again but this is just heartbreaking, can't believe my 2 little embies are gone.  I've called in sick to work so I'm spending the day with my DP

Good luck to everyone else testing over the next few days


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## Rumplestiltskin

Dotty, I have literally no moral highground on testing early, but you are still a fair way from OTD...it's not over 'til it's over. Same goes for you, Holnshaun, especially since you did the test later in the day. Fingers crossed for you both...this is such a horrible place to be  


Stini, you're so lucky your clinic do beta testing! Mine don't, and I know that it won't make any difference at all to know those numbers, but numbers make me happy    so I'm toying with paying for some beta tests, but my rational mind is telling me that it won't influence the outcome any more than just sitting tight and waiting for my scan. I had considered abusing some ClearBlue Digitals over the next few weeks, to reassure myself that my hcg levels are rising, but I've read a few people's posts saying how despite sky-high betas the ClearBlue tests didn't go above 2-3 weeks, and that it can just cause more heartache. 

Clairey Poppins, well done on putting yourself first! You absolutely have to do that at the moment, and I'm so glad that your GP is being supportive - it really takes the pressure off to have them on side. 


Hey MrsChef, so glad to hear you're getting back to yourself. After my second failed cycle, I was signed off work for a week after OTD, and I exercised like a fiend in that week, and it felt so good - like taking ownership of my body back. We've got to take our control where we can get it in this game! 

Catf, hope you're doing a bit better and the bleeding has stopped. 

Hollywood, I'm so so sorry. It's heartbreaking. You've done the right thing to call in sick - do it again tomorrow, so you can have a straight run through to the bank holiday. I'm glad your DP is with you. Let him take care of you. Do whatever you need right now. 

MrsLondon, still hanging in there? Sending hugs to you and all the ladies still in the 2WW  

Yesterday I had a look at joining the "early pregnancy and waiting for first scan" board, but it totally freaked me out - so many ladies getting bad news at their 7 week scan   Going to try really hard to just enjoy this moment, and not focus on the next hurdle. Just trying to be grateful and happy that I've made it this far.


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## Catf2008

Hollywood - I'm so sorry it's a bfn  

Rumplestiltskin - still in a total state of shock, tested positive again this morning (I see alot of testing in my future) I'm till convinced it's going to turn into a bfn at some point after all the bleeding but I basically had nothing yesterday, if I wasn't looking for it I wouldn't have noticed it


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## Rumplestiltskin

Catf - eeeeek! Surely you must be near OTD now...sounds like time for celebration! Congratulations! I think lots of women get bleeding and then things are fine. My friend was in A&E with massive bleeding at about 6 weeks, but she's due in 3 weeks now...

Excited for you!


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## cinnamon75

Hi ladies!

*Hollywood* I am so so sorry to hear your news this morning. I really thought this would be your time   Please take good care of yourself over the weekend xxx

*Dotty* It's not over yet... good luck!

*MrsLondon* Thinking of you lovely lady... how are you doing x

*Rumplestiltskin* I did the same with the early pregnancy board... it's terrifying so I'm just lurking 

*Stini* love your new gifs! I see you were a little bit more brave than Me and Rumplestiltskin and joined the early pregnancy board. It was lovely to see a familiar name pop up on there. Have you had any more beta tests?

*Catf* I'm so happy to hear that your BFP has stuck around even after your bleed. I agree with Rumplestiltskin, lots of people bleed in early pregnancy and still go on to have a happy and healthy pregnancy 

*Holnshaun* I'm with Katfish and Stini... I think you tested a little early for the HCG to be detected on your hpt. Good luck with your next test x

*Claireypoppins* enjoy your two weeks off, that was the perfect plan to keep relaxed and safe. We work with boys with EBD in my school too and they can be very aggressive towards staff so when staff are pregnant they are kept well away and out of harms way.

*Melly and Skye* I hope you ladies are well and a HUGE hello to *MrsChef and MrsRL* xxxx

AFM, I just sneezed and I'm sure I almost sneezed the embie out!! It hurt sooooooo much  Happy today though and not feeling anywhere near as frightened as I was a few days ago. What will be will be. Scan has been delayed until Sept 16th so 3 weeks to wait (arghhhhh) but DP had a work training day so we couldn't make the original appointment. It's my 40th birthday today so I plan to eat cake all day. It's definitely allowed as a) it's my Birthday and b) I am old enough to do what I want 

Happy Bank Holiday weekend everyone... what are you all doing?? x


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## Catf2008

Thank you ladies, otd is officially tomorrow so will test again, I'm sure with it being so early if the bleed was anything I wouldn't have got a positive today but only time will tell. I'm taking it each day at a time especially after the MMC in January


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## Skye83

Happy birthday Cinnamon!! X


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## Stini

Oh *Hollywood*, pal, I'm so sorry. Be good to yourself, and make your fella be good to you. And take all the time you need to grieve, too. xxx 

Happy birthday, *Cinnamon*!         Hope you have a great day not going on your own boat trip, you poor sausage. Delighted to hear you're feeling a bit happier, too - eat ALL the cake! Do it! 
Ha, yeah, I joined the board, but mainly because I was worried about a lot of cramping I had yesterday and was looking for some reassurance. Then I remembered - like *Rumplestiltskin* - what a scary place the early pregnancy board can be, and thought that actually I probably would rather stay away. There are a million dodgy symptoms in there that you keep wanting to measure yourself against...

*Rumplestiltskin*: Yeah, the beta thing is good, but they're only doing one for me provided everything goes alright, and I'm pretty happy about that. My last clinic only did betas when I started bleeding and needed monitored, and it was heartbreaking to keep getting the news that they were slowly dropping. I kind of know what you mean about wanting to test again and again, but part of me just wants to stay in this little bubble for the next two weeks until scan day.

*Catf2008*: So pleased it's still positive, lovely. Sounds like you've got a sticker!

How are all the 2wwers doing?* MrsLondon*, how you feeling?

A wee bit worried as I'm feeling more or less symptom-free for the first time today (apart from some major digestion troubles that resulted in me eating a mouthful of dry fennel seeds at 2am last night - it hasn't been a pleasant 24 hours. Anyone else, er, backed up?). I don't think I'm going to test any more, but I would appreciate a little sign from the nausea gods or something. My boob pain is fading a bit, but it's been off and on for the whole time, so I'm not going to worry about that too much (yeah, obviously I am worrying about it a HUGE AMOUNT). I just want to get through today without a bleed - my first bleed started at two days past OTD although it took almost three weeks for the miscarriage to happen. Then I just want to make it to the weekend. I stop progesterone in six days, as apparently because I took an Ovitrelle trigger my body will be producing its own? That terrifies me - I want to stay on till 12 weeks like everyone else. BFP ladies, what are your clinics telling you? I don't feel positive today all of a sudden, after two days being quietly confident that this was the one, and that I was going to manage a full nine months of glowing zen-like earth mama calm... 

Yet again, I'm finding myself envying all those natural conceivers, who get pregnant and then stay confident that they are pregnant, and that's that...

We don't have a bank holiday in Scotland, so please do enjoy yourselves, lucky so & sos! xxx


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## Holnshaun

Aaarggghh..im 9dp5dt, spoke to my clinic this morning and told me to test tomorrow i had 2 put back, i told the nurse no symptoms at all. However this afternoon ive been to the loo as ive been having cramps as though AF is arriving to notice a little bit of pink blood when i wipe ( Sorry to be so detailed) testing tomorrow but already feel its a BFN....anyone with simular stories and resulting in a BFP? Xx


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## Stini

*Holnshaun*: Yup - Catf2008! It's such a scary time, isn't it? Big love to you, dearie. xxx


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## Rumplestiltskin

Yeah, I think after everything any IVF woman has been through, zen-like earth mama calm is pretty unlikely, Stini...but, you know, nice to dream!

On the progesterone, our clinic's standard procedure is an ovitrelle trigger, and then progesterone just until OTD, so maybe that's right about ovitrelle? Because of repeated failed cycles, I've got some extra that will take me up to about 8 weeks, but when I go for the scan I think I'll ask them about prescribing more. I've also taken the plunge and collected the rest of my clexane/prednisolone that was waiting for me at the chemists - last time we were stuck with about £200 worth of drugs and no need to take them...

I was pretty symptom-free on Tuesday, and since then it's been intermittent dizziness/nausea, and sometimes cramps. I wouldn't say I'm backed up (sorry for tmi) but wouldn't say everything's totally normal, either, but then I'm sure the progesterone's not helping with that. 

I'm trying to distract myself by looking at nursery furniture - you know, behaving like a normal pregnant lady! I'm also trying to decide whether to keep the lovely designer bra I ordered last week...I don't have very big boobs, so it's kind of hard to imagine them getting huge, plus it was in a sale, so total bargain! (Plus, it's red, what's not to love?) And sending it back somehow feels like it will jinx things  

Holnshaun - I had really bad AF cramps the day before OTD. I've not had any blood this time, but as others have said, it's normal to have some bleeding. Good luck. Let us know how it goes tomorrow. 

Cinnamon - Happy birthday! And I second Stini, have ALL the cake! My DH and I are heading down to my mum's for the bank holiday, which is great - she normally looks after us really well, and makes loads of lovely food for us, but this weekend I expect she'll be wanting to wait on me hand and foot, and I might just let her


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## mrschef04

I don't think so. I took an Ovitrelle trigger and I was advised I would be on pessaries and the steroids for the full 12 weeks, if it went through.

*Hollywood* I'm so sorry for your BFN, honey. Take as much time as you need to grieve. I think it took me at least a week before I felt normal again. So do whatever you need to do to feel better. big hugs xxx

*Stini* stop symptom spotting! The symptoms definitely come and go, so don't worry about it!!! xx


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## Holnshaun

Thanks Stini im just hoping at least one has stuck....fingers crossed...its a very nerve racking time.

Rumplestiltskin:  I just hope its worked,glad AF painshappen to some people and still a BFP...hope your doing well and pregnancy is treating you well xx


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## 76.lou

Hello everyone. So sorry I haven't posted on here for a couple of weeks. I have been lurking in the background and was so sorry to hear some bfn news from some of you but over the moon to hear about some bfp in the last few days. This chat forum needed to hear some positive news, and I have my fingers crossed for the rest of you in the 2ww. 

Afm I had my bfp three weeks ago which was accompanied by spotting so was incredibly nervous in the first week that this didn't bode well, but after a week thankfully the spotting stopped and I haven't had anything since. No idea what caused it but was reassured it was perfectly normal. I feel incredibly lucky to have got this far already but my emotions have been all over the place the last few weeks. I guess it must be the hormones...

I've been really lucky not to have any major symptoms just swollen boobs, I've gone up two cup sizes which I'm most distressed about although obviously OH is more than happy and oh and lots of spots lol

I have my scan tomorrow so fingers crossed for that. I think when I see it on the screen and all is ok I'll start believing it's all real.

Xxx


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## Skye83

Hope your scan goes well tomorrow Lou x


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## Catf2008

Good luck today lou 

Stini - I actually don't know how long I'm on it for, last time they prescribed me a further 30 days when I tested positive but that would only take me to about 8 weeks, which I never got past 

Afm - well today is officially otd and it's still positive, I'm really nervous about it with what happened last time and all the bleeding this time, I just can't get excited about it.  I'm scared to move into the pregnancy section at the moment, think I'll hold out till after the 7 week scan.


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## Holnshaun

It's a BFN for me....thanks for all your help !** good luck to everyone who has BFP and those in 2ww xxx


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## Clairey poppins

76.Lou Good luck with your scan this morning.  


Catf2008 Good luck with your test this morning I have everything crossed for you.


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## MrsLondon

Morning ladies,

Thank you so much for your supportive messages over the last two days. I've been so up and down. This whole IVF thing is the hardest and worst thing I've ever had to go through. *Catf-* Good luck today babe, hope it's still a BFP. *Lou* hope your scan goes ok. *Cinnamon* HAPPY BIRTHDAY for yesterday. Hope you ate ALL of your cake. *Stini * Hope you're feeling more PG today? I looked at your tumblr page last night.

AFM, feeling much better today, even though I didn't sleep a well last night as it's OTD today. Just wanted you to know that I did a clear blue and first response first thing this morning and it's a BFP!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it. So shocked and happy as I was convinced I was out of the race. Going to get my bloods done at clinic later today to check HGC levels, clear blue said 1-2 weeks which is right, I had two put back so I think only one stuck but I am SO happy and don't care. My phone also broke yesterday so I can't even contact anyone unless I steal DH's phone which I did to call my mum and sister who are both away on holidays.

Happy Friday ladies, sorry about lack of personals I'm still shaking and in shock. Will catch up properly later but wanted you all to know and thank you you for your incredible support.


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## 76.lou

Holnshaun- I'm so sorry to hear your news this morning. Thinking of you at this horrid time x

Mrs London- fab news congratulations! Hope your hcg results confirm the good news later x

Cat - great news about your official test day result. Will your clinic book you in for a 7/8 week scan?

X


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## Skye83

Holnshaun, so sorry to hear about your test this morning. Lots of love x


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## Skye83

Mrs London - congrats on your  !! Brilliant news xx


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## MrsRL

Huge congratulations to Catf and Mrs London on getting your    So happy for you 

Holnshaun - so sorry to hear about your bfn   Take care of yourself x

Lou - good luck for your scan  

Belated    To Cinnamon 

xx


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## Stini

Oh *Holnshaun*, I'm so sorry. Can you take the day off? Is your partner there to look after you? xxx

*MrsChef*: So glad you're still here. How are you feeling? x

*Ms Gnomer* - any news?

*Rumplestiltskin*: I think you might be right about the progesterone. Apparently the constipation is a side effect and things...got a bit extreme yesterday, so I'm going to take that as a sign that my body is starting to produce its own and there's a bit too much in here...

*MrsLondon*: Oh, so pleased for you, my lovely!        xxx

*Catf2008*: That's great - do you feel like you can relax a bit now? Ha ha ha, what am I saying? Have you phoned the clinic?

Am I right that we've just got ClaireyPoppins to go now? Anyone else still 2ww?

Sorry I was so jumpy and symptom-spotty yesterday, ladies. 2dpOTD was when the bleeding that would take a fortnight to turn into m/c started for me last time, so I really wanted to get past that particular milestone without bleeding. Now I just want to make it through the weekend. Other things I learned yesterday: never tempt the nausea gods by asking for a sign.


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## Skye83

I test Wednesday Stini....eeek!! X


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## Rumplestiltskin

Congratulations, *Mrs London*!!! Brilliant news, you must be thrilled!!!   

*Catf2008* so glad it's still a bfp, hang in there! Let us know what your clinic say 

*Holnshaun* I'm so sorry. I've been there, and it's awful. Sending hugs 

*Lou* Hope your scan goes ok, you must be really excited!

*Stini* glad you're doing better - one day at a time  It must be extra hard when you've been here before and had it go badly.

Thought you all might like to know that "normal" women get just as nervous as we do - my other SIL, who gets pregnant at the drop of a hat and has never had any problems at all, told me yesterday that with both her babies she did 100s of HPTs (bought in bulk online) - she couldn't accept that it was all real until she started to show. Made me feel better that it's not just us 

AFM, I'm managing to stay away from the tests (although looking at the photos I took of my tests about 50 times a day), and just trying to let myself believe it will all be ok now. Also trying not to stress too much about the scan, and just enjoy this moment - it's been so hard to get here.


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## Catf2008

Rumplestiltskin - I'm not going to tell you to relax because I know how you feel, just try to take everything one day at a time

Stini - I'm not going to relax, going to be a stressful few weeks, barts are awful to get in touch with, you can spend 45 minutes waiting to get hold of them and today I can't do that as it's the busiest day of the week and month today so I've had to send them an email and hopefully they will call back soon.

Mrslondon - huge congratulations my otd buddy

Holnshaun - I'm so sorry hun

Lou - it's usually a 7 week scan


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## Chriskirsty

Hello again ladies I forgot to stop notifications on my phone and couldn't help but log on to read your news, and felt I needed to congratulate you all,, 
Catf Mrs London rumplestiltskin stini  cinnamon congratulations on all your bfp I'm so happy for you guys :
I wanted to wish you the very best for your pregnancies take care your beautiful ladies 

Hollywood Mrschef mrs rl holshaun I'm so sorry ladies no my thoughts are with you now on reading your news 

Special thanks stini for pm me  that's the one I plan to go to 

Afm it's been a hard few weeks I've lost 5lbs through shear sadness and depression I think.., I no I need to sort myself out it just hit me hard, I still haven't had my af 3 weeks and 2days past my negative beta just spotting they don't seem concerned at the clinic and just to go in on review date the 10th of September... 

Onwards and upwards I hope if there was such a thing I'd like to think of myself a black belt in infertility 🙅🏼🙆🏼🙋🏽 ha xxxxxx


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## mrschef04

*Holnshaun* - I'm so sorry to hear your news. Take good care of yourself!

MrsLondon - Congratulations on your BFP! That's great!

*Stini* - aww, I'm much better. Have already started to shed the weight and have a full weekend planned with friends. The main reason why I've been staying away is just because it just reminds me of one big failure. I didn't think that IVF would affect me so bad, but it has and I will never think of this first time without a great deal of sadness. Going through a miscarriage and then it not working within a month didn't do much for me and I think I'm still a little f***ed up from it all, but I think that's mainly because it became an obsession and then left a big hole when none of it worked. Being obsessive about one thing is the worst thing anyone can do, I think. However, it's not saying that I ain't rooting for all of you. Especially seeing people such as Catf, Rumplestiltskin and yourself get BFPs. You've all been through a lot.

*Chriskirsty *- hey hun, I hope you take good care of yourself more. Please don't focus on this stuff.

*AFM *- If I stay away from FF, I am perfectly fine and feel a lot better, but whenever I get on here again, it just makes me sad all over again. I'm trying to just get on with things and make plans that have absolutely nothing to do with TTC. I think it's a lot easier for me though than others because none of my friends want children, so that helps a lot and they generally try to make me feel better pointing out how much they don't want them.


----------



## NotleyAbbey

I really must try harder to check this board a little more frequently then I have been. It takes me ages to read all of your posts and then (unless I sit down and write notes) I find it quite impossible to do personals to everyone who has posted. Apologises for typos, I'm currently sitting in the car, on my phone, waiting outside of the hospital for my little brother. He's not been well, so just having some investigation type appointments. FX everything is ok with him. 

Anyway...

A HUGE CONGRATULATIONS to all of you ladies who've recieved BFP's this week! I'm so happy for you all. Here's to another hurdle jumped   Big hugs to you all    

Sending big hugs to those ladies who've not recieved such positive news this week. I can't imagine how you must all be feeling      

Happy belated 40th birthday for yesterday Cinnamon!    I hope that you had a fab day celebrating! 

FX for all of you still in the 2WW and having scans. 

AFM - I've been trying to keep busy. I caught up with a friend whose got twins through IVF she had. They're 3 1/2. They were the result of a FET, which she opted to do without any drugs. She said she just monitored when she was ovulating and then they put two embyros back and the were both successful. I'm very fortunate to have a close friend whose been there, done it and got the tshirt. Seeing her twins makes you believe that IVF is all worth the pain and heartache 😊 I've been trying to get myself ready for the start of next term. As well as looking after my nephews and neices. We spent most of yesterday at Legoland. We're quite fortunate to have somewhere like that so close. I must say I was struggling with sharp pains in my boobies, lower back ache and tummy cramps. I keep telling myself I am more than happy to put up with all of this if its all for a good course. My little sister had her 12 scan this morning for her second baby. Everything looks as good as it can, which is great and I'm really happy for her. Just keeping everything crossed that we will soon be looking at our own 12 week scan picture. I'm just taking one day at a time and trying to keep busy. It's my mother in laws 60th birthday this weekend and celebrations begin tonight, so I've definitely got this weekend covered in terms of keeping my mind off of things. I will try my best to check in more often. 

You're all amazing ladies and don't let anyone tell you any differently. 

Lots of   And love to you all x


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## NotleyAbbey

Please accept my apologies, I've just posted my message and I didn't realise how long my AFM part was. Sorry all


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## Stini

Oh, *NotleyAbbey*, don't worry. My AFMs tend to take up an entire page. Actually, maybe I should be apologising for that.

*Kirsty*, I love the idea of a black belt in infertility. Sign me up. It does sound like you need to look after yourself, though, lovely - like MrsChef says, try not to let this all get to you. If you've got until the 10th of September before anything happens, are you able to just spend that time looking after yourself and not thinking about this? x

*MrsChef*: Wow, that really is lucky to have baby-free pals. All of mine - ALL of them, seriously, I've got two non-pregnant or parent friends within close range left, and while I love both of them neither are BFFs - sprogged within the last three years. Even the ones who'd always said they didn't want kids - oh! What a lovely surprise!  Have emailed you back, btw. x
*
Skye*: Sorry I missed you out there!

AFM: Feeling better today. I went for the gentlest of jogs and it was really nice to get my heart moving even a little again. Trying slowly to claw life back to normal. *Rumplestiltskin* - I've also been looking at the photo I took of the test ("yup, it still says it") but I'm determined not to test any more, too. Maybe we could cheer each other on?


----------



## 76.lou

Hi everyone just a short one from me. Had my scan this morning and all was good, we saw the little bean and it's heart beating away. Feels more real now 😊 I do feel very fortunate to have got this far.

Stini - I've been told to stop the progesterone in a weeks time which will take me to 8.5 weeks. The clinic assured me that would be ok  so guess our bodies will be producing plenty on its own by then. Still as much as I hate them it will feel weird to stop them.

Enjoy the bank holiday xx


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## Katfish

Sorry I've been away from the board! I've had a quite hard time after my follow up appointment and felt upset! I've been looking a little but struggled and couldn't bring myself to post!

Basically they have told me that the quality of my eggs wasn't very good! The quality of the frozen sperm was also not great! Although they can understand the sperm quality due to the fact my DH was very unwell at the time the sample was taken! (We had 4 frozen straws now down to 3) 
My eggs apparently were oddly shaped and I think she said surrounded by a lot of cells! My AMH result was 7.6 I think I read! They think it's mainly due to my poor AMH result but also may have contributed to being given a high stimming dose at 300 when she think next cycle I'll be given 225! All that keeps going around and around my mind is I'm 23, all that I had wrong was mild endometriosis (which has been treated and they didn't believe it would cause any problems with my fertility) the only reason we have having treatment is due to my DH otherwise we would have been none the wiser! What have I done to cause this to happen!! 
They are happy for us to continue to cycle and believe we will get a positive at some point! The quality of the eggs they put in was great a 6 cell and an 8 cell on day 3! Just our numbers dwindled so fast (11eggs, 8 mature, 4 fertilised, the other two that were not transferred didn't grow any more than when they were left on day 3) 
They called today with my answer for egg banking they have given us that as an option but obviously don't know the outcome so it's not a norm! The first idea which we will be taking up as its only £110 is to re freeze what's left over it may end up not being worth it but worth a go to preserve our supply! The egg banking we will look at after the next cycle which we will start after two more bleeds! Maybe 3 if it clashes with there week they are shut over Christmas (alright for some hey!!!) 

I'm really sorry for the long me post and for no personals just really struggling finding out about my eggs and feeling drained!


----------



## Katfish

Oh will say congrats Lou glad that your scan went well


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## Catf2008

Scan all booked for 9am on the 17th September, seems ages away


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## Stini

Katfish, how are you feeling today? This must have been awful for you, but it's not final - like you said, they're confident you'll be able to conceive. You've done nothing wrong, my love, so don't think that for a second. Infertility, and all the myriad issues all of us on here have been suffering, is a nonsense  thing that's happened to us, and absolutely not your fault. There are steps you can take to make yourself feel like you've still got control, too. Have you thought about taking a course of supplements?  CoQ-10, royal jelly and spirulina in tablet form, plus DHA for Omega3 are all good for eggs, as is taking wheatgrass and maca powder every day (blend up with berries and yoghurt into a smoothie - foul otherwise!). Our bodies go in three month cycles, and you might find that after three months of supplements the numbers look very different - it worked with me and my fella. 

Have a whole load of these, anyway:   xxx


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## Rumplestiltskin

Katfish, you have not done anything to make this happen. You mustn't think that way. It could just be chance that the eggs they got this cycle were a bit odd, might be next time they'll be fine. Your drop off isn't that bad: on this cycle, they collected 11 eggs from me, 7 were mature, 4 fertilised, but one was "atypical" so never really a goer, 2 were transferred and the third wasn't good enough to freeze. It's not all about having lots of eggs; I've seen women pregnant from only 4 eggs collected, total. Importantly, your clinic are already thinking of how to change things to improve your cycle. If they're confident, trust them; this is what they do. I really hope they find the right treatment for you  

Catf2008, how are you doing? Feeling better with the scan booked? Were your clinic concerned about the bleeding?

Lou, congrats on a perfect scan, you must be thrilled  Does it feel more real now?

Stini, I think you're stronger than I am, but yes, let's try and keep each other strong  Feeling lots of twingey feelings in appropriate locations, so taking those as good signs things are still cooking


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## Catf2008

Rumplestiltskin - I feel a better knowing it's booked and now now have a date to work to. They just said they can't say what's caused it and hopefully it's nothing to worry about but if I have any more to call them and they will get me booked in with my local epu, they asked me to describe the bleed and they seemed happy that I didn't soak a pad and it just seemed to be on wiping (sorry for TMI) I'm taking the fact my boobs are getting more and more painful as a good sign, they've gone from hardly any pain on Monday to now being unbearable, so taking that as my hormones are rising and I'm just going to be one of those ladies that bleed.


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## MrsLondon

Katfish - Please do not blame yourself, honestly there is nothing that you have done for this to happen. I spent a lot of time thinking about that too, I know I'm older than you but my mum had my brother at 37 with no problems, my sister basically blinked and got pregnant with both of her little ones. Then theres me with a low ovarian reserve and high FSH. I was told by the clinic that I would be a poor responder and I wasn't the best, I only got four eggs but all four fertilised and made it to blast which even the clinic didn't believe. I don't know if anything I done helped this but I did take CoQ10 and micronized DHEA that I ordered from the states for three months and had acupuncture for 6 months before too, although I'm a bit sceptical about that. It's also positive to hear that your clinic want to change how your cycle goes next time.

Catf - Glad you're feeling better now  My scan is booked for the 15th, I'm also going to try and get my bloods done again to check hormones are rising as I'm still pretty much symptom free unless I start over analysing every little thing. I'm feeling a lot more hungry and have bouts of tiredness. Boobs only hurt a weeny bit and only if I press them (sorry TMI) I do have a lot of CM though which is gross, so maybe I do have some symptoms I guess...All I know until the scan I won't quite believe it.

Lou - Glad your scan went well.

Hope everyone else is ok and having a good bank holiday weekend so far.

xxx


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## Catf2008

Mrslondon - I'm with you there, I won't believe it till the scan and it all looks good. I have to say I did do another test this morning, final one in pack and it seemed darker and more bold compared to Fridays and alot darker than Wednesday so hoping that's a good sign that the levels are rising.


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## hollywood130

Hi ladies

Just popped on to say congrats to all the bfp's

I'm just trying to keep busy to get through my bfn, its still very raw and devastating.  Not looking forward to work at all in the morning but it has to be done.

I've decided to spend the next 3 months getting in the best possible shape I can for the next round.  I've just done my shopping getting lots of fruit and veg. I've also gotten Omega 3 fish oils (because I don't eat fish) and I've gotten some Royal Jelly.  I'm going to purchase Coq10 and Maybe pregnacare. Going to look into accupuncture and that's about it.  Wondering what you ladies recommend or is there enough on the list??


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## Catf2008

Definitely get the pregnacare as I never used it in my first cycle but I did use it on my last two and those are the ones I got my bfp on


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## MrsLondon

Hi Hollywood,

  , I took micronised DHEA too, which I had to order from the states as we don't do the micronised version here. I was told by two different clinics to take it but not everyone agrees with it. I did have acupuncture once a week for about 6 months but I'm a bit sceptical about it. Glad I had it done but initially went to try and lower my FSH levels and it didn't help. It might have had something to do with my specific acupuncturist who knows. Sounds like you have a good plan in place though and all those things will definitely help I'm sure. When is your follow up appointment? Xxx


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## Ed&#039;sWife

Hi all, 

Sorry for being AWOL, I really needed some time, I didn't think it'd hit me this hard but t just confirmed how much we want this.
Firstly a big congratulations to Stini, MrsLondon, Cinnamon, CatF, Rumplestiltskin an anyone else I've missed....I genuinely am so pleased for all of you. I hope things are going well   

MrsChef, I've felt exactly the same as you. This forum helped me so much whilst going through IVF but now it's on the back burner at the minute, it's just reminding me of what could have been (I didn't get as far in the process as a lot of others) but logging back on tonight after nearly 2 weeks off, and it has genuinely made me smile all of the good news, I love it. 

76.lou, so pleased for you. I bet it was wonderful to see 'it' on the scan x

I am still catching up but AFM after the disaster that was Norway (don't think I updated but cannot remember) Anyway we only got 2 little eggies and surprisingly they fertilised, however when it came to transfer, he couldn't find my cervix. He could see it on the screen but just couldn't get to it. Absolutely devastated. So they've frozen them for us and now we're on the NHS. They're sending me for a scan just to make sure everything looks 'normal', so we'll see. 
We apparently do get 3 go's on the NHS but because we were fortunate enough to privately fund one ourselves, the NHS will only give us 2. I know, we're lucky to get 2 but I just wondered, has anybody else come across this with the NHS? It just seems so unfair to penalise us because we were in a fortunate position.    

Lots of luck to you all xx


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## Stini

Hello Hollywood my lovely. 
That's a pretty good list - I was on Zita West Vital DHA, which I thought was the same as DHEAs but maybe not. You also need vitamin D in some form (I'm taking it mixed in folic acid from Boots now), and I would also recommend adding a few spirulina tablets a day in there - it's like uber-protein/fertility wonderstuff (info here: http://natural-fertility-info.com/spirulina-nutritional-fertility-and-pregnancy-support.html and I got mine here: http://www.indigo-herbs.co.uk/shop/buy/spirulina-powder-tablets - you just need the smallest package).

Thinking of you. xxx

Ed's Wife, hello!    So good to hear from you. Will the NHS give you two goes plus a frozen transfer, or do you have to go back to Norway to get your frosties? That seems really unfair - I had heard about things like that in the past, but we've got a different system in Scotland (everyone gets two goes as long as one half of the couple hasn't got a child and the woman is under 40). How soon does your NHS cycle begin - are you on a waiting list or are you at the top? 
xxx

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## Rumplestiltskin

Hi Ed's wife, good to see you  

Sadly, yes, I'm aware of the practice of private cycles eroding your NHS entitlement. It's so unfair. In the scheme of things, IVF isn't actually that costly to the NHS, but it's really unfairly demonised. Before our treatments started, I spent over a year arguing with the powers that be in the NHS regarding funding, so I was very clear on what we were entitled to, and what we weren't, which is partly why we put ourselves through 3 cycles in 12 months...If we were going to have to go private, I wanted to use all my NHS cycles first, since statistically it takes on average 4 cycles to have a live birth (based on global success rates).

I'm so sorry you've found this out now, when it's too late, and the cycle went so badly. As if you didn't have enough to deal with. Really hope things improve for you from here  

How are you doing, Stini, staying strong? I'm managing to stay away from the tests, but it's a daily battle. I'm just so scared of having 2 weeks believing it's all fine, and then being hit with bad news at the scan...

Mrs London, our scans are on the same day


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## Clairey poppins

Morning ladies,

How are you all? 

Am I correct in thinking that there is only myself and one other lady left to test? 

I think a lady is testing Wednesday this week, sorry I can't remember who you are my brains gone blank. I hope you are ok? Have you resisted testing? 

And then there's me not testing till next Monday the 7th. God it's been a long wait! Did anyone else have to 
wait 16 days after having 2 day 4 blastocyst transfered? 

I hope everyone is enjoying the bank holiday weekend, it's throwing it down here in Nottingham, I hope the sun is shining else where.

Love, hugs and positive vibes being sent to all you lovely ladies. Xx


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## MrsLondon

Morning ladies, what a miserable day!!!! (well it is where I am).

Ed's Wife - The NHS is rubbish regarding IVF, it's basically a postcode lottery with different rules for different boroughs. I wasn't even allowed one go on the NHS not one. Just because my FSH was 15 and in December they chanced their regulations and made their cut off 9. I was so angry esp as I'd already been going through investigations with them since two and half years prior. The way I was treated by them was disgusting! I had my GP write an appeal letter but in the end we decided just to go private. It wasn't worth the wait. I'm still very bitter about it, but the care I've had from my private clinic was amazing so I'm glad we didn't wait and we were so fortunate that DH's nan gave us most of the money for our cycle. Good luck and let us know how you get on. 

ClaireyPoppins - I think you're right, there is someone else on Wednesday and then just you. How are you holding up? 16 days does seem long, mine was two weeks after EC which only turned out to be 9 days after transfer.

Stini - How are you? Still nauseous?

Rumplesiltskin - Hey scan buddy  what are you doing to keep sane? I'm literally going mad. I just want to know that everything is ok and seeing as I don't have any symptoms yet its really hard to. I'm actually looking forward to going back to work on Wednesday just to get my mind off of it. Roll on September 15th hey.


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## Skye83

Hi Clairey, I test on Wednesday which will be 11dp5dt so yours does seem to be a long wait. I think we had egg transfer the same day? I'm very nervous, as the wait get shorter it's made me realise just how much I want this. I hope the 2ww is treating you well! 

We weren't able to have any NHS rounds either so that was really tough financially. 

Hi to everyone else on the thread xx


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## Katfish

Hi everyone!

Yes I think I'm going to have a look at vitamins we are off to town in a bit so I can have a look in Holland and Barrets at the vitamins there! Do you think if I start now and we start cycling again in October and EC will be the beginning of November that it will be long enough?

It's very hard to not blame yourself so hence why next time I'm not going to be pushing myself back into work so soon and overdoing it which the Clinic agree will be best! (Having at least 5 days off post EC) due to the high pace of my job I'm thinking a week and a half plus or minus a day or two!

Wishing all the best with everyone! Sorry no personals!

X x


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## Clairey poppins

Hi Skye83, I know exactly what you mean about feeling nervous but, I'm trying to remain very positive and take each day as it comes. Unfortunately we were unable to NHS funding so like you say it's been financially very hard for us especially as we spent £5000 in January on a vasectomy reversal which didn't work. I think we've spent about £12,000 so far but it's a small price to pay if we get a miricale.x  thinking of you my lovely and I have everything crossed for you for Wednesday. Xx


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## Skye83

Thanks Clairey! It will hopefully all be worth it! Xx


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## Clairey poppins

Hi ladies, 

How is everyone this morning? I hope you all had a good weekend or bank holiday weekend to those in England. I'd did nothing but rain here all day yesterday. 

Thinking of everyone and sending love and hugs to everyone. How is everyone? I'm starting to find the 16 day wait I'm on until OTD a long time! I Want to test but on the other hand dearn't incase its to early and incase I get the news I don't want. Trying hard to hold out untill the 7th.  Trying to remain positive as I've had no signs at all to make me think any different. 

I hope you all have a good day. X


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## Catf2008

Clairey - try to hold out, the earliest I'd say to test is 14 days after egg collection but try to hold out till otd 

Afm - it's still sinking in that I got my bfp and I'm still taking it one day at a time. I'm off today as it should of been my due date had I not had my mmc in January, so we have some friends coming to see us & spend the day with us


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## Clairey poppins

Catf2008, aww bless you thinking of you and sending BIG hugs your way      I hope you have a lovely day with your friends. 

I will hold off Hun, even though 16 after embryo transfer seems a long time I know I've been told to wait till then for a reason. 

Have a nice day and enjoy being with your friends. X


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

Clairey, if you can wait, I think it's better (although I have never, ever managed to wait until OTD). I've tested early and got both good news and bad news, and I don't think it particularly makes it any easier...I just have no patience   You have got the longest wait I think I've seen. Mine was 16 days from EC. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and Skye, though  

Catf2008, sending you   on what must be a very difficult day for you. I'm glad you've got things planned. Will you tell your friends about your BFP?

MrsLondon - I'm going completely crazy, too   Just about managing to stay off the tests. Felt a bit better yesterday when I checked up on my clinic's results on the HFEA website - I worked out from the numbers on there that at my clinic, of the women who get pregnant, 87% go on to have live births, which seem like pretty good odds to me, so that made me feel a lot better. 

AFM, not doing so well today, seem to be getting a UTI   I had one during stims (before that, hadn't had one in 10 years!) that I had to go on antibiotics for, and looking it up now, the advice is that if you're pregnant you should go and see your GP immediately if you've got any UTI symptoms...eurgh. So now I'm fighting with the post-bank holiday rush to get a GP appointment, and I've just got into work, but my GP is 40 miles away...so today's going to be fun. 

Hope everyone else is doing better


----------



## Catf2008

Thank you ladies 

Rumplestiltskin - my friends already know as they were my support network during my cycle, one of them had her baby via ivf in May this year so she knows exactly what it's like and has been great during treatment


----------



## Clairey poppins

Hi MrsLondon

I'm sorry I missed your message yesterday. I'm good thanks, just starting to find my 16 day wait a bit long now. I did have the urge to test this morning but talked myself out of as it's still to early and I'm not sure what I would of done if it was negative. So I'm being extreamly positive now and holding out untill Monday. 

How are you my lovely? how are you finding the wait for your scan? 


I feel your frustration with the NHS. I couldn't even have 1 cycle as hubbie has children from his first marriage! It's just not fair.  :-(. they even turned us down after hubbie had a vasectomy reversal in January that we payed privately for that left him infertile. They were not interested one bit. So like you we went private and have had top notch service with everything from our clinic in Nottingham. I can't fault them at all. I'm just praying and crossing everything that we get a positive on Monday. Once again congratulation on your BFP. Xx


----------



## MrsLondon

Thanks ClaireyPoppins, 16 days is long but you'll get there. Monday will be here in no time and at least you don't have to go back to work!  I'm back tomorrow...mixed feelings, I know it will take my mind off things but it will be SO full on. 

Rumplestiltskin - hope you're not in too much discomfort? 40miles?! That is far. The numbers from your clinic sound great though, which clinic is it? Mine aren't so good, but 71% of women went on to get BFP's from my age group last year so that kept me going during the 2ww. I'm feeling slightly better as I'm currently sat in the hospital waiting to get HCG tested again to check levels are rising. I've got an appointment with my GP next week on Monday so I might even ask for another one before my scan. I'll see how I get on I supposed. I was feeling really down this morning again just want a physical sign that I feel pregnant to make me feel less worried. *sigh* 

Skye - good luck for tomorrow, will be thinking of you.

Hi to everyone else, hope you're all ok. It's stopped pouring with rain where I am so that's brightened my day.

Xxx


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## Rumplestiltskin

Hey Mrs London, hope your beta test goes well. I keep considering having one, but haven't done it so far. How much do they cost? I know how hard it is to keep believing. I've caved and tested again today, just a pound shop cheapie. It's still positive, and I'm just going to leave it at that, since it's a different make from the ones I've used before, so there's no point comparing how dark the line is or any other things like that. Only 2 more weeks to go until the scan. My symptoms are pretty variable - today I mostly just feel unwell, which is probably the UTI. 

It's not the percentage of women who get pregnant - that's only about 49% for my age group and treatment at my clinic (71% is amazing from you clinic!), it's the number who have live births after getting pregnant. It's not a figure that's reported, per se, I calculated it from the (number of live births per cycle) divided by (number of pregnancies per cycle) x100. It's kind of annoying that they don't report that as a single outcome, since it's pretty useful to know. I'd also like to know what percentage of their patients ultimately get pregnant, and averagely how many cycles are required to achieve this, but it's not possible to calculate that from the available numbers. Obviously the clinics could figure that out, but it would take a lot of work. But after our second failed cycle, I became convinced that we were just going to be one of those couples that it never worked for, and it drove me crazy that there were no figures available (or not easily findable, anyway) for the number of people who do repeated IVF, but don't ever have a baby. Sorry, I've just realised that's really depressing - I don't want to bring anyone down! It's just that being well informed with solid data gives me a sense of control in all this; I guess it's just how I cope. I'm at BCRM, by the way. 

Stini, you ok out there? I hope you're quiet because you've been living it up over the bank holiday (was it a BH in Scotland?) and not because anything bad's happened...thinking of you  

Catf2008 - it's great that you've got real-world support of people who know what all this is like. Most of my friends don't really know what to do with our infertility - they're either still single, so I think fundamentally feel I should stop complaining, since at least I have a husband, which is more than they have, or they're married with babies, so feel sympathetic but don't totally "get" it. My DH's infertility is genetic, so it has affected his brother to a certain extent, too, so my SIL is very supportive, but because it's family, emotions can run quite high, as well. 

Thinking of you all


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## MrsLondon

Quick one

Rumplestiltskin - Blood test was free, I just called my GP and she printed off a request and off I popped to my local GP. It's usually £50 from my clinic though and £165 for my scan!!! Wondering if I should try and get that done on the NHS now too, especially as I'll be back at work tomorrow and getting to London and back will take some time....or maybe at a different clinic, one that is closer to me. Hmmmm


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## Stini

Aw, don't worry about me, *Rumplestiltskin*. I'm fine. It wasn't a BH in Scotland, so I'm not sure where I disappeared to. I've been having a lot of quite strong period-y pains, but also quite a bit of good old reassuring nausea, so I think we're alright for another day. I'm now at a week (good lord, this has been a long week) - another milestone. Last time around, I was spotting and my beta numbers had halved by day 5, even though it took a further ten days for the miscarriage to be confirmed. This time I've no idea what the betas are doing, but there's been no blood yet so no cause for concern. I did dream I had started to bleed last night, but I'm putting that down to paranoia.

Sorry to hear about the UTI. How are you feeling now? I take it you're hitting the cranberry? Ugh, forget I said that. I've been having a bit of an issue with constipation, and over on my other forum the post filled up with everyone offering their own personal cures. The best one was "stick a Fairy Liquid-coated finger up your bum"  - the worst were just a hundred
different ways of saying "have you tried prune juice?" YES THANKS I KNOW ABOUT PRUNE JUICE. Why on earth is your GP 40 miles away? Actually, I think mine was still in Aberdeen for a good five years after I left university...

And thank you, by the way. Based on my clinic's numbers on HFEA and that equation, I've got a 95% chance of a live birth. That cheered me up a huge amount (although - will I still count as "under 35" given that I will be uncontrollably, incontrovertably OVER 35 when the Dot(s) make their appearance? I mean, the eggs were still under 35. If I count as the 35-37 bracket by then, I've still got 91%). These are crazy high numbers, aren't they? Bu I guess the HFEA don't lie. At some level it hasn't quite sunk in to me yet that this might actually go on to become a live pregnancy - I think I've kind of internalised an idea that that's not for the likes of me.

*MrsLondon*, how you doing? I would suggest that "feeling low" in & of itself is probably a symptom, you poor sausage.  What were your results today like? Wouldn't it take longer to get a scan arranged on the NHS? I had it in my head they only did 12 weeks, but then results vary so much.

Oh *Catf2008*, how did the big hard day go?   The only friend I've told - actually, the only person we've told at all this time round - has also had IVF. It's easier with them, isn't it?

*ClaireyPoppins* - is it tomorrow? Aiiieee! Good luck! Well done on not testing early *eyes Rumplestiltskin with lingering smugitude*. Oh no, I've just seen it's Monday. Wow, that is a long one. How are you holding up? 
Sorry, it's *Skye *who's testing tomorrow, isn't it? How are you feeling?

I've downloaded an app that gives me day-by-day info about what the Dots are doing. They grew spines in 24 hours yesterday.


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## Skye83

Morning ladies

I have four pregnancy tests in front of me all saying BFP!! We are overjoyed!! Trying to not get too excited as it's early days but it's the first time I've ever seen two lines on a preggo test!!   

Can I just say a big thank you to everyone on this forum. Reading your posts has kept me sane over the past six weeks. You're all fab xx

Now to try and contain my excitement as I know it's very very early days xx


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## Catf2008

Congratulations skye 

It wasnt to bad ladies, having my friends down and cuddling my god daughter made it much easier but we did have tears when I logged on ******** and the lady that was pregnant at work and due the same time as I would of been posted pictures up of her newborn that she had on Monday


----------



## cinnamon75

Morning July/August buddies!

Congratulations to *Skye* on your     That's fantastic news and if you are anything like me, you'll be feeling a little shell-shocked right now   I hope I haven't missed anyone else who's had a BFP too x

*MrsLondon* I feel your pain... I haven't had loads of symptoms, just kind of brief moments of queasiness when I'm hungry and tender boobs at night when I take my bra off. I did have cramps but they are getting better and yesterday I starting freaking out as the only small symptoms I did have, all vanished  I was pleasantly reassured to find my nipples hurt when I rolled over in bed last night  How did your bloods go yesterday lovely lady? I haven't had any done and I wish I had as it might have given me more reassurance or information at least.

*Stini* I hope those symptoms aren't still driving you too potty (I'm still checking your gifs ) Definitely sounds like twins... I bet you can't wait to get to that first scan!! When's yours?

*Catf* Sooooo pleased that your early pregnancy is still going strong after that little bleed you had before OTD  Stay sticky little one!!! I have also told friends as they've been through IVF themselves and I also had to tell my parents on the weekend as I couldn't take part in my own Birthday celebrations. I actually believe that if I do lose this pregnancy that having people know who can support me, will help me too.

*Ed's Wife* Grrrrrrrrr to the NHS  That's so mean of them to make you forfeit one of your funded cycles because you had a private cycle first. It shouldn't be any of their business!!!!  On a positive note, you might not even need more than one more attempt...  Does your FET count as one of your two attempts?

*ClaireyPoppins* you have the patience of a saint holding out for that long until OTD. I imagine if you haven't started to bleed by then you'll have a very high chance of seeing that second line pop up pretty quickly at 16dp5dt!!!   My OTD was 16 days post EC (14dp2dt) whereas yours is 21 days after EC 

*Rumplestiltskin* I'm the same... I caved and tested a few times over the past fortnight. I just needed to see some proof that the BFP happened as I still can't believe it!

AFM, a big belated thank you for the Birthday wishes  I had a fab weekend and turning forty hasn't freaked me out too much thankfully . 
I have AGES to wait for my first scan which is really scary as I can't help but fear discovering a blighted ovum or an early loss. I have days where I can't seem to shake the fear and then others like today when I feel very calm and know I can't change anything by worrying. I know I can deal with whatever challenges are thrown at me as millions of other ladies have dealt with loss, so I'm no different. If it happens, I will have to deal with it then, but there is no point stressing over it. My first scan is on 16th September which I think makes me a day after Rumplestiltskin and Mrs London. It was on the 15th but DP has a work thing he can't get out of. I will be 8 weeks by then!!! This has been the longest fortnight of my life so far  More than once I've almost booked a private scan at 6/7 weeks as it's only £60, but I think in a strange way I want to stay in my BFP bubble for as long as possible.

Special shout out to *Katfish and Hollywood*  We used lots of supplements like Omega 3 (with DHA), Co q-10, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, Conception Multi-vits, Royal Jelly, Bee Propolis, extra Folic acid etc. DP also used snowballs  Who knows if it helped? But it helped me feel as if we were doing everything we could. I had an initial consultation with Gennet (Prague) last week and the doctor really poo-pooed supplements as having any impact on the success of IVF/ICSI, but I still don't regret all the money we spent on using them.

I hope all the other ladies still reading, are all well and things are moving forward in whatever way they want or need for now. Big hugs and fairydust to everyone


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## Stini

*Skye*! You wee dancer!     

Hello *Cinnamon*! How you doing? What did you do about the boat ride in the end? I'm actually quite annoyed with your Gennet consultant - does he have that sort of medical male attitude that his brilliant science numbers are really all that's needed? It always seems to be the men who posture like that: one consultant I saw told us there was absolutely nothing we could do ourselves to effect the outcome, we just had to sit back and wait for our place to come up on the IVF list. Well, it did, and we didn't have much success. I have absolutely no doubt that it was supplements that got us this one - the difference in my fella's sperm numbers alone (15% up to 80% viable) is proof. Okay, rant over...  My scan is on the 17th, which is only a fortnight away, and the last week seems to have gone quickly and slowly all at once, so I'm not too stressed about it just now. Mind you, I said that at the start of the 2ww. I know what you mean, though - so many horror stories of people getting to scan only to discover nothing.

*Catf*, glad it wasn't too bad. It's over now, hon.

Btw, sorry for my wandery brain last night - I read over yesterday's post and thought it read like I was drunk or something! Ye gods. My fella is away walking the West Highland Way Saturday - Friday, so there's no-one to talk to out here. Apologies for my rambling.


----------



## 76.lou

Congratulations skye, fantastic news. Xx


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

Hey Stini, so glad you're still hanging in there! What's the app you're using? Sounds fab. I'm obsessively looking at my Clue app, which is really ridiculous, since it doesn't register pregnancy (despite tracking ovulation and telling you when your fertile periods are each month  ) so it just keeps telling me that my period will start tomorrow. And tomorrow. And tomorrow. But, crucially, it tells you which cycle day you're on, and I get really excited watching the numbers tick up - cycle day 44 and counting  

The doctor was really good about the UTI, took a sample for culture and the antibiotics seem to be helping, so hopefully it's been nipped in the bud. I slept all afternoon yesterday, and feeling much brighter today. My GP is only about 10 miles from our house, but my work is 30 miles in the other direction, so that's why it's so far. We used to be at a GP at the end of our road, but we live on the border between two different NHS areas, and where we used to be we would have only had 2 cycles of treatment, and I had a really awful first consultation, so had no confidence in them, so we moved GPs to get 3 cycles at a different clinic, which seemed worth a little extra travel now and then. It's going to be a little bit more of a hassle when it comes to maternity services - the maternity unit is in a totally separate hospital to where we've been being treated, and is about a 45min drive away (also in the opposite direction to my work...) but really, still not complaining when it's set against 3 fully funded cycles of ICSI. 

Skye - congratulations!!! Brilliant news!!!     

Thanks for the info, Mrs London, maybe I'll try asking my GP. When do you get your results?

Catf, sending hugs. I've got a couple of friends who will have babies when I would have if my last cycle hadn't failed...this is such a hard road. But hopefully you're on the way up, now  

I think I'm getting less symptoms than I was before - I'm less wobbly and sick than I was last week and before OTD, but I'm trying not to read too much into it. As long as there's no bleeding, I'll keep believing it's all good. Cinnamon, I think I'm just like you - can't wait for the scan, but dreading it too, because at the moment, I'm bona fide pregnant, and I don't want any info that will change that. But as you say, whatever happens, we'll all be fine - we're a tough bunch  

Hang in there, Clairey - keeping everything crossed for you!


----------



## Sharry

Ladies please keep the pregnancy chat for the babydust area, as it can be upsetting for those who did not get a BFP on this round.

Sharry x


----------



## Stini

Apologies Sharry (and anyone else) - you're absolutely right. Can you explain where the Babydust section is, or give us a link? We've become very close on this group so it would nice to be able to carry on our conversation somewhere, but I absolutely understand that this is perhaps not the place for it. A lot of us found the early pregnancy forum very dispiriting and frightening as there are so many bits of bad news, so didn't really feel at home there. 


Thank you.


----------



## Sally1108

yes please let us know where the baby dust section is - my early scan is 7th and the early pregnancy forum scared the bejesus outta me :/


----------



## cinnamon75

I've just started a little thread for us ladies too scared to move on to the early pregnancy board... Anyone want to come and join me?

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=339152.new#new

(I hope that link works)


----------



## Clairey poppins

So sorry Sharry, apologies to any ladies I have caused upset to or offended in any way with my comments. Sending love and hugs to all. Xx


----------



## MrsLondon

Skye - Whooohoooo MASSIVE congratulations!!!!!     , so happy for you.

I'll do the AFM and other personals on the the thread that Cinnamon started.

ClaireyPoppins - How's you?

xxx


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## Skye83

Thanks for doing that cinnamon!

Thanks to all for the congrats, apprehensive but can't help feeling excited 

Also thinking of you Clairey and sending  

See you all on the other thread! Xx


----------



## Stini

I've just started bleeding. Can't do a beta till Friday morning, but all my symptoms are gone. This feels like the end.


----------



## cinnamon75

*Stini* please try not to think the worst, although I know that's a stupid thing to say because I'd be terrified. There are so many people who have had a bleed and still gone on to have a successful pregnancy. A lady on here is 9 weeks and having twins and has just spent two days in hospital following an enormous bleed with clots and cramps. She has some kind of haemotoma (?) in her uterus... in fact she has two, one on each sac and the babies are still fine even though she has passed huge clots. Honestly, it's not over til it's over sweetie. I know you've had a bad experience before... can you got to your EPU or is it too early? maybe phone your emergency number for your clinic?

Thinking of you and wishing you all the luck in the world  xxx


----------



## cinnamon75

PS. Sorry Sharry... I didn't want to leave Stini without any support x


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## Rumplestiltskin

Stini, darling, no, no, no! Do you have any tests you can do at home now? Would that help? 

As cinnamon said, can you go to your EPU? 

Praying this is not the end, just a horrible blip  

Sending you all sorts of support and positive thoughts


----------



## HopefulPolly

Hi ladies

I am about to go back through and catch up. Sorry I've been AWOL. After egg collection I developed mild OHSS or moderate. Didn't feel the symptoms were mild. I was in agony for a week, unable to breath properly, put a stone on and my belly bloated so quickly it bruised! Horrible and I didn't expect it at all. I basically stayed at home and rested. Felt so bad I distanced myself from here. I had a 2dt. Out of my 12 eggs collected, 10 fertilised, 1 was transferred, 6 top quality frozen and they left 3 to see if went to blastocyst. 2 kind of stopped and 1 became an AB blastocyst so 7 frozen in total. My OTD is tomorrow and I will have blood results phoned through by the afternoon. I've had on FRER faint positives Mon, Tues and Today. I'm concerned they aren't getting darker though and it will result in a chemical pregnancy. I'm so sure my HCG isn't going to be where it should tomorrow. Just need to be put out of this limbo!

Stini - I have briefly seen you have said you have started bleeding ((hugs)). I hope doesn't mean anything bad but I can only imagine how you feel. 

Will read and catch up xxx


----------



## Catf2008

Stini please give your local epu a call, I know it's still early by you will be over 5 weeks and they would be able to see something x


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## MrsLondon

Stini- just seen your post, I'm with the others. Also could you go to [email protected]? They might be able to scan you or do bloods there and there. Don't panic it's not over xxx


----------



## cinnamon75

I found this... Not sure if it's any help but it was on a fact sheet about bleeding during early pregnancy.

"When they find blood, most women  contact their doctors and are referred to the Early Pregnancy Unit.  However, it must be emphasised that there is  little that the EPU can do to stop a miscarriage.  The exercise is mainly about reassurance.  The EPU will be able to offer a scan, and in  the majority of cases the embryo will be seen happily settled in, heart beating  away, oblivious to the worry it has been causing.  It may be possible on the screen to see the blood clot near the  embryo, which is in the process of ‘passing out’.  The mother can then return home in the knowledge that she has  experienced spotting rather than the early stages of miscarriage." 

It also stresses that the bleeding is usually accompanied by severe pain if it is a miscarriage. Are you in pain? How heavy or fast is the bleed? Please call your out of hours doctor or go to the EPU to get some reassurance xxx


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

And apologies to Sharry and anyone else who may have been upset by my getting carried away with all the bfps...will be more careful from now on.

Hey, hopefulpolly, good to see you, sorry you've been having such a rough time! Are you feeling better now? I've read that OHSS can be worse with a bfp, so maybe it's a good sign? So many frosties! Wow! I've never had any in 3 cycles... Here's hoping for a strong line for you tomorrow on your OTD   

If your clinic do hcg, hopefully that will reassure you...let us know what happens 

Stini, keep us posted, we're rooting for you!


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## cinnamon75

*hopefulpolly* good luck for tomorrow! It's fab to hear from you and I'm so sorry to hear you suffered from OHSS after ET  I think it's really positive you've got those faint BFPs!  

*claireypoppins* how are you holding up? Still resisting those HPTs? x


----------



## Stini

Thanks you guys. I might go to EPU tomorrow: the heartbeat hasn't started yet, though. That won't be for another few days. The clinic was pretty clear they couldn't do anything till a day after the bleed, as Hcg levels take a while to react. No pain, but a fairly heavy red bleed now, and a general feeling that something's gone. Boobs aren't sore. I came off progesterone today, so I've taken some of that just in case: my body is very sensitive to it. My fella is coming straight back from the Highlands tonight, bless him: he'll be on a bus getting here at half ten. My neighbour pal came round, but I found I just wanted to be by myself.
You are all very very sweet.


----------



## cinnamon75

*stini* I'm so glad DH is coming home to be with you and it's a good sign there's no pain. Great idea to take some progesterone! I'm convinced there's two in there and I'm sure I've read somewhere that makes you more prone to bleeding. Cuddles are definitely needed!


----------



## MrsRL

Hi Ladies,

Just a quick message from me. I just wanted to wish *Skye* huge congratulations on your bfp, very happy for you 

Hang in there *ClaireyPoppins*, test day will soon be here, keeping my fingers crossed 

*Stini* - sorry to hear about your bleeding  Try not to think the worst though (easier said than done I'm sure) and I really hope that it's not a bad sign. It could be any number of things and like Cinnamon said, I'm sure I have read somewhere that bleeding in twin pregnancies and even IVF pregnancies is common. I'm glad your DH is coming home to be with you. Good luck if you decide to go to EPU.   x

*Hopeful Polly* - good luck!! Sorry to hear you have been suffering, it sounds awful 

Hi to anyone else reading, thinking of you all. Take care xx


----------



## HopefulPolly

Stini - also glad to read DH is on his way to you. 

DH is away when I find out tomorrow about my results - he's home the following day but then away again for a week. 

Thank you for good luck wishes Cinnamon, Rumplestiltskin and MrsRL. I feel sick thinking about it. Just want a definitive answer tomorrow so I can move on in whatever way. 

Update you soon!


----------



## Chriskirsty

Hi ladies 
I'm still here and I've been reading all of your news so happy for you all I just haven't felt up to posting but I'm starting to get over the initial pain of another failed cycle.. 
I just wanted to ask your advise its been 4 weeks today since my negative beta (that's sounds so long ago now) and I'm still yet to have an af is this normal?? My tummy has totally deflated phewww and I'm back to normal hormone wise and I feel fine I'm just keen to have my normal cycle back so I can get started again after my killer cells biopsy or does any one no if my clinic could give me something to get my cycle back into a normal thyme.. I've had brown spotting very light but that's it #feeling fustrated.. 

For those who got a awful bfn like me when are you all cycling again I'd love to be cycling with you all again 

A special message for stini I'm thinking  of you darl and really praying that your bleeding stops... Sending you massive hugs of encouragement till your dh gets back 
Kirsty 
P.s I'm going to end my bfn in style it's my 29th birthday this weekend and im going to raise a big fat glass of champers to all of us strong ladies  cheers xxx


----------



## Melly2015

Hi Ladies,

*Chriskirsty*, I'm hoping to start a FET sometime in October. Is it worth you doing some ovulation tests, so see if you get a result on them? I've done that over the last few days, and got a positive ovulation result yesterday- so gives me a good idea that my cycle's getting back to normal fairly quickly. As you've not had a bleed, it might give you an indication of what your hormones are doing? Have a great birthday- and enjoy the champers- cheers to you! x 

*Stini*- Hope the bleeding stops soon for you and everything is ok- thinking of you 

AFM- sorry not been posting much, have been dipping in and out to see people's news. I'm still really struggling with my result. As this has been my first cycle, don't think I realised how tough it would be to get over a bfn. Went up to the clinic for a counselling session yesterday, which I think has helped, I just want to get my head into a better place before starting my next cycle...which I'm really keen to do. I've got a consultation with the clinic on 24th Sept and hoping to start a FET with one of my frosties after that.

Hugs to anyone that needs one  

xx


----------



## Chriskirsty

Thanks melly that's A good idea thanks I guess I'd have to test every day as I don't no when my middle of the cycle is.. My follow up is a week tomorrow and I'm feeling scared.. I'm so to hear you have been struggling with your result too, at  the start you assure yourself you'll be ok with it not working but once you start you don't realise how much you want it.. I really hope the counselling has helped you but the fact you've took that step to help you in your next cycle says how well your doing even though you may not feel that way your looking forward honey and thats fab 

Best wishes to you for you fet  how many frosties did you get,? We got the one so I really want my tests done before I move on to that as I can't ring my little icicle  
Xxx


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## Katfish

Sorry I've been away for so long I've been struggling a lot at the moment I can't remember if I replied after my last post! Thank you for giving me the advice about vitamins! I'm looking at them to start before my next cycle! In response to Chriskirsty I will be cycling again in October/November! It depends on when my periods fall! Should start DR in October!

Sorry Stini to see that you have been bleeding hopefully it's not all over for you! Hope the bleeding stops soon! 

Congrats to those who have had BFP and my condolences to those who have had BFN's!


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## cinnamon75

Lovely to see you *Melly, Kirsty, MrsRL and Katfish*!!!!! 

*Melly*That's a great suggestion you had for *Kirsty* about using ovulation sticks to see if she can get some more clues as to where her body is at the moment. I'm sorry to hear how difficult it's been following your first cycle not working out but I think it sounds like you are doing exactly the right things to help yourself move forward even stronger than you were going in to this cycle. I'm glad the counselling seemed to help and hopefully once you get started again with your FET you'll be raring to go again. Wishing you all the luck in the world.

*Kirsty* I'm so pleased for you that you have a frostie to use and have something definite to work towards. It must be so frustrating not having a bleed so you can get your killer cells biopsy done. The waiting is the hardest bit of all this in my opinion. I am going to try doing an AF dance for you to make her arrive ASAP 

*HopefulPolly* Any news?  

*Stini* Thinking of you... How's things today? 

Hope everyone else is doing well!! I'm still not ready to move on to the pregnancy thread so I'm going to stick around here and just keep the symptom talking to a minimum. I would hate to make it harder for anyone and I am sorry if any posts earlier might have been difficult to read for those who are facing another cycle. You've all be so supportive x


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

Hey Melly, good to see you again. No, absolutely nothing can prepare you for how awful a failed cycle is. All in, it was 2 years between finding out we couldn't have children naturally, and having our first cycle, and I'd been terrified of having IVF that whole time, and thought I was being pretty "realistic" about our chances (read: negative. Seriously, everyone kept having a go at me that I wasn't being positive enough, that being "relaxed" and "positive" was what I needed to make the cycle work - one person even implied that I needed to "accept I was a mother" in order to make the cycle work... ) but getting that BFN was one of the worst moments of my whole life. It's nearly a year on, and it still hurts too much to think about it for more than a second or two. Sadly, nothing can prepare you, but what you're feeling is normal. You are strong and fabulous, and you will recover. One of my favourite quotes ever is "When you're going through hell, keep going". Keep going, honey. There's also a great poem by Louis MacNeice  called Apple Blossom, which is worth a look, if you find that sort of thing helpful: "Yet when the bitter gates clanged to/The sky beyond was just as blue."  

Kirsty, I think the ovulation sticks are a great idea. It does seem odd that you've not had a bleed yet, but who knows what's normal in all this? Glad to hear lots of your other symptoms are easing up, sounds like a good sign. Have a fabulous birthday, and have a glass (or three...) for me   

Katfish - good luck on your next cycle. I did that this time - had the BFN bleed in June, then first AF after that was cycle day 1 for this cycle. Keeping everything crossed for you  

Stini - how are you doing honey? I've been thinking of you all night. I hope your DH got home to you quickly, and has been holding you tight.  

HopefulPolly, any news? Really hope it stays good for you


----------



## Stini

Hey all, thanks for all the thoughts. Not feeling hopeful today - the blood has stopped, but there were some tiny bits of blackish clotting this morning, which is lining, and which I passed last time I lost. Some small tummy pains definitely feeling like everything's on the way out - you know that sort of AF feeling? My fella is here, and bereft. Have taken the day off work and I guess we'll just watch Netflix in bed and try to distract each other. Pretty certain this is it. 
Thanks so much for all the support. xxx


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## cinnamon75

*Stini* good to hear that the bleeding has stopped but sorry to hear that you feel the bleed was similar to when you last miscarried  I know this probably isn't much consolation, but if there were two and you've definitely miscarried, you might still have one safe and snug in there? Until you have bloods done or your first scan, it's not over for you yet. There could still be a miracle for you, and your whole cycle has been pretty miraculous with the amazing results you and DH had  X

*Rumplestiltskin* big hugs to you. We will all find ourselves a new happy home on here, please know we are still all here for you even though we all feel a little 'homeless' right now


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## Rumplestiltskin

Thanks, cinnnamon 

I'll still keep checking in on here - want to see how everyone's doing. 

Stini, are you still going for a beta test tomorrow? Really hoping that you get some reassuring news soon


----------



## Stini

Hey all. Yeah, beta first thing tomorrow. Just brown discharge now, no more clots or blood. It could just be the progesterone blocking things now I've started taking it again, though.  Feel weirdly calm, like I did all my crying yesterday. Haven't really got out of bed today; we watched Empire Records this morning and I'm doing a bit of work from home now. Thanks again for all the support. xxx


----------



## Clairey poppins

Hi Stini, sorry to hear you aren't having a good time at the moment, please to read the bleeding has stopped. Sending big hugs     and positive vibes     right your way. Thinking of you Hun. Xx


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## Clairey poppins

Hi ladies, how are you all? 

Please don't shout at me but....... I can proudly say that I tested yesterday 2nd September which was 6 days early and got ........... A   too! We are delighted and compleatly over the moon.     Just excited now to do the official phone call to the clinic on Monday on our OTD and then go for the scan in how ever many weeks that will be to find out if it's 1 or 2 eek! Scary but massively exciting too.   

I feel really guilty for saying something and really don't mean to rub people's noses in it when so many of you lovely ladies are having a difficult time at the moment. I would just like to say a massive thankyou to each and every single one of you for your encouragement,  advice and continued support throughout my journey it's all been very much appreciated.  

I will still be thinking of you all and praying for you on your next journeys which ever path you are all on. Love and hugs to all. Xx


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## cinnamon75

*claireypoppins*      Whoop whoop great news!!!


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## Clairey poppins

Thank you Cinnamon75. X


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## 76.lou

Clairey poppins congratulations that's great news and I don't blame you at all for testing early! It's good to hear good news here so I'm glad you posted your news xx

Stini I'm sorry to hear about your scary bleeding the last couple of days. I've my fingers crossed for you that it doesn't mean the worse and glad you have the beta test booked in.

Xx


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## Skye83

Congrats on your   Clairey!! Xx


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## MrsLondon

Stini - So glad that your bleeding has stopped and good luck tomorrow, let us know how you get on.

ClaireyPoppins - Whooohoooo so so happy for you. Now you can relax during the rest of your time off work.

xxx


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## Clairey poppins

Thank you 76.lou, sky83 and Mrs London. X


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## HopefulPolly

Congratulations Clairey Poppins!!

Stini - Thoughts are with you for tomorrow. 

AFM - my suspicions were confirmed. Chemical pregnancy. HCG 14 to stop progesterone and await a bleed. It's hit me quite hard. The hope of positives pregnancy tests albeit they were faint and not darkening leaves you with a glimmer of hope. I've drank a bottle of champagne tonight. DH is away so consoled myself  Seeing them at the end of the month to discuss when I can do a FET.


----------



## Katfish

Congrats ClaireyPoppins

Hopefully Polly I'm so so sorry to hear that it was a comical pregnancy! I'm sorry too that you DH isn't there with you but hope that you enjoyed your bottle of champers! It is a hard time for you and I wish you all the best and sending lots of hugs your way! 

AFM - last night shift which is seriously pulling at my heart strings! Two people asked when I'm going to have a baby one at work and the other on the phone before leaving for work asked if I was pregnant hence why I had been off sick before and just kept adding salt to the wound!


----------



## MrsLondon

HopefulPoppy - I am SO sorry, good job on the champagne though. Really sad for you and hope that your FET is the one for you. Must be even harder with DH being away.

Katfish- some people just don't think! I always get those questions and really want to punch people in the face but it's just natural isnt it. I bet 4 years ago before we started to have problems I too was that person! 

ChrisKirsty - hope you're ok? Just realised I didn't reply to your earlier posts.

Stini - good luck today, thinking of you.

AFM - after being so tired yesterday I've been up on and off in the night unable to sleep. 

Xxx


----------



## Clairey poppins

Thank you Hopefulpolly. X

I'm soooo sorry to hear you had a chemical pregnancy, Thinking of you at this difficult time. Sending love and hugs right your way.


----------



## Clairey poppins

Thank you Katfish. X

I'm so sorry to hear you had a difficult night shift, some people can be so insensitive at times its uncalled for. Sending you love and hugs.    I hope you have a better day today. X


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## Rumplestiltskin

Hopeful Polly, I'm so, so sorry. This is such a cruel process. I think seeing off a bottle of champers was exactly the right response - hope you're not suffering for it today, a hangover would just be too much to bear on top of everything. I don't know how all you ladies manage with your DHs away during cycles - mine was away for a week during stims on our first cycle, and it nearly killed me (yeah, recently realised that I'm not quite as independent as I thought in that respect  ). I hope things go better for you on the FET...it sounds like you had some lovely quality embies to have so many frosties  

Katfish, you poor thing. I think that slowly people are starting to realise that it's never acceptable (and I mean never, not even when there's a huge bump) to ask a woman if she's pregnant, but sadly some people are always going to be the last to get that memo. I always found that there's almost an invisibility to a failed cycle of IVF that makes it extra hard; some people view it as a pregnancy loss, but others don't, and that makes it really hard to explain in a way that people who haven't experienced it can understand. Plus, often not many people even know what's going on in the first place. I read some articles about infertility and grief, and a couple of things really stood out - one, how much grief you feel is linked only to how much you wanted that baby, not how long you were pregnant for, and two, people who've experienced infertility and another serious life event, like cancer or the loss of a loved one, rate infertility as at least as bad, if not worse than the other serious life event. So basically, you're doing amazingly to be in work at all.  

Stini - I really hope the beta test today is good news. Will they test again on Monday or something to look for doubling? Thinking of you xxx

Clairey - Congratulations!    That's really lovely news. I bet you can't wait to ring your clinic on Monday and get your scan booked. 

AFM, I'm doing ok, nothing particular to report, just hanging in there, and thinking of all of you


----------



## Stini

Hi all. Quick update from me: had a scan and there is one little Dot still attached in there, plus developing yolk sac, but that's all they can tell just now. I was prepared not to see anything, but still not feeling hugely confident. I just don't have the symptoms I did, plus the brown discharge has been constant, and is accompanied by cramps. Trying not to get hopes up, so I think it's prudent just to wait and see. We're not feeling particularly happy. There will need to be follow-up bloods & scans next week.

ClaireyPoppins: delighted for you!

Hopeful Polly: so sorry. Xxx


----------



## Clairey poppins

Thank you Rumplestiltskin and Stini. X 

Glad to hear your scan went well Stini, sending love hugs and lots of positive vibes right your way. X


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

Stini, I guess that's really the best that can be expected from a scan at this point, but I can see how you don't feel that you're out of the woods yet. 

Did the clinic have anything to say about the bleeding? Did they think it could be a second Dot that didn't implant so well? 

I've seen lots of people talk about a "second" implantation around 5-6 weeks (transition from yolk to placenta, maybe??) that can come with pain and bleeding as the embryo implants "deeper", but I really don't know if this is true or accurate. 

Holding my breath for you.


----------



## Stini

Thanks R - they had nothing to say about the bleed at all. When we suggested the second Dot theory they just said "well, we don't know..." or "well, it's hard to tell..." She was very keen not to give us anything at all that would get our hopes up, or anything definite one way or t'other. Just more sitting around all weekend, I suppose. I don't really have that pregnant feeling any more, but impossible to tell if that's because it's dying or because my self-defence system has kicked in to protect me. There's a lot less nausea than there was, and my sense of smell isn't as sharp, and that's about all I know.


----------



## MrsLondon

Stini - I was just replying and my phone died. Sorry. Your scan sound positive, I know it must have been heartbreaking that there was only one, but the fact that there's still one snug and developing a yolk is awesome. They are probably just being overly cautious, try not rest and I know you said that you're feeling numb but it does seem like there's some light at the moment. Hope bloods come back showing good HCG numbers, keep us posted xxx


----------



## Clairey poppins

Could somebody please tell me what the link is to the new thread that you have moved on to. The one that one of you lovely ladies started the other day doesn't open for me. It's very quiet on her and I don't know where you have all moved to. X


----------



## Skye83

Hi Clairey

Think everyone has moved to the early pregnancy thread:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=336390.880

Hope you're ok and the news is settling in!!

Xx


----------



## Clairey poppins

Thanks Skye83, I'll take a look. X  how are you doing? Hope you are ok and enjoying the weekend. The weather has really turned here in Nottingham its more like flipping winter. Just had to put the heating on. Hope it's a bit warmer where you are Hun. X


----------



## Chriskirsty

Hi ladies 
Thanks for the support I just wanted to say I'm out enjoying my 29th birthday the  champagne has been  ordered and I'm just about to turn my back on my bfn and raise a glass to the future and  to all those who got one too   
To the future ladies clink clink we will get there  

Love to you all 
Kirsty 
XXXX


----------



## Clairey poppins

Enjoy ChrisKirsty, cheers! 🍸  Happy Birthday. X 🎉🎁🎈🎂


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## cinnamon75

*Stini* I'm so glad to hear the scan showed a beautiful little embie still sitting snug as a bug in a rug. I hope it stays safe and sound and you feel more reassured at the next scan  It's normal for pregancy symptoms to come and go as your hormones surge and your body gets used to them, so that's not necessarily a sign that things are not going well. I hope you've managed to keep your mind busy this weekend, but relaxed a little too to let your body rest x

*Kirsty* Happy Birthday    Have lots of lovely bubbly, you deserve it!! 

*Claireypoppins* the new thread was deleted... well it was merged with the early pregnancy thread as apparently it was against the rules to have our own post cycle buddies chat. Most ladies are slowly moving over to the early pregnancy board now. I see you've found your way there though 

Big hello to *mrslondon and Rumple* and everyone else I've missed xxx


----------



## MrsLondon

ChrisKirsty - Happpppppy Birrrrrrrrrthdaaaaaayyyyy                Have an amazing night out  

Xxx


----------



## Clairey poppins

Many thanks for that cinnamon 75,  I'm still here though, not quite ready to leave here yet. still feeling nervous and apprehensive at the mo and feel like I need to stay here with you lovely, reasuring ladies. This thread feels like my security blanket lol. No ready to make the leap to the unknown yet. Xx


----------



## Stini

Crikey, this two threads malarky is a bit confusing, isn't it?

Thanks so much for all the support, ladies. My hCG levels came back at a freakish 25,000, which is actually "a bit higher" (ya think?) than they should be after my first beta, but apparently no cause for concern and just means everything's okay. The clinic didn't want to do a second beta but I've forced them into it for next Tuesday. Someone on my ther forum told me to get stroppy, and I did. So, we're beginning to hope (DANGER) again. You guys have been so lovely coming through this. *Rumplestilskin*: it wasn't the loss of the twin that was getting me down, it was that I was pretty convinced a second miscarriage was about to happen. I just felt exhausted and hopeless. Doing a bit better now, though. x

Right, enough of that. 
*Kirsty*!!!!


----------



## MrsLondon

Oh Stini that's good news, been checking all day to see if we would hear from you. Yes good idea to get levels checked again on Tuesday. x


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

Just wanted to pop in and say hope you had a great birthday, ChrisKirsty  

This thread seems to be tailing off now...so wanted to say how lovely everyone's been, thanks for being such a great bunch. I've tried joining cycle threads in the past, but this is the first one I've really "clicked" with. 

For those of you who had BFNs this time - I'm so sorry, my heart goes out to you, and I hope you all find a way forward, whether that's with another cycle, another route to parenthood, or the decision continue your lives without (more) children. This is a tough path that nobody every chooses to be on, but you're all amazing people, and I'm glad our paths did cross. Wishing you all every luck for the future. 

I think many of the lucky BFP ladies have gone over to the early scans thread, if you have, see you there, and if you haven't, sending lots of baby dust for safe and successful pregnancies. 

July/August 2015 Cycle Buddies, you're all awesome


----------



## MrsLondon

I completely echo what Rumplestiltskin said. Everyone on here has been amazing, love and luck to you all.

Xxx


----------



## Stini

Oh no! I'm not ready to give this board up yet! xxx


----------



## 76.lou

No nor me!! The early pregnancy thread scares me and I feel a bit out of place on the main March/April due date thread!

Xxx


----------



## Clairey poppins

I'm not ready to go either. Like you say Lou the early pregnancy thread scares me too. X it's safe here I'm stopping


----------



## MrsLondon

I don't want to give up on this thread either, but we've already had a slap on the wrist about the things that we were posting.
Xxx


----------



## NotleyAbbey

Sorry I haven't been very active on here ladies. First week back at school and I'm shattered and counting down to half term already lol   I believe, for me, there's only 29 teaching days until our two week half term 😜

I have been checking in but haven't had the time or energy to reply to individual posts, so I apologise for the very poor excuse. I'm not ready to leave this thread either. I had tears in my eyes at the possible thought of this thread ending   I also echo what everyone else has said. I honestly don't think I could've got this far without all of your encouraging words, banter and pure awesomeness. Although I don't know you, or what you look like, you're all a fantastic group of ladies. Especially those strong and very thoughtful ladies, who  for me, have not had their well deserved BFP this time round. You've all still been there and supported everyone else. You have no idea how amazing you are. Big       to you all. 

Chriskirsty a belated happy birthday to you lovely. I hope that you had a super weekend celebrating! 

Stini I'm so happy to hear that all is ok with you and your scan went well. 

Hello to everyone else. I hope that you're all well. Will try my best to find sometime this week to send a more detailed post. I'm shattered and off to bed. Catch up soon lovely ladies x


----------



## Chriskirsty

Evening ladies 
Thank you all so much for the happy birthday messages I had an absolute blast, I danced that much I had smoke coming off my heels  
I can only agree with what you all have said I don't want this thread to end either.. Initially I found my bfn hard to bare, but I'm feeling much stronger and more postive about the future.. As I said to dh maybe we are just meant to move into our new home before our little bubba comes along  
I no that it was advised to keep the pregnancy chat for the other threads but i personally don't mind hearing all your story's as I prayed for you all as much as myself, and just because my dreams are taking longer, and allot of you got your bfp doesn't make that any harder on me, so don't feel you can't share, I no that's just my opinion and don't want to speak on behalf off all of us but I just wanted you all to no  I love hearing all your news it shows this dam infertility can be beaten it would be a lot harder if we were all sat saying it hadn't worked .. So personally from me you all chat away about scans, symptoms and tmi's any time you like... I hope it's allowed  

Stini Mrs London Lou 76 rumplestiltskin Clairey poppings Notley abbey cinnamon Jessie Skye Catf chavalar and anyone I've missed I hope your pregnancies are going well  how are you all doing x

And if your still here katfish hopeful polly mrs chef Mrs rl little miss me June thinking of you all and hope to cycle again with you 
It's my follow up on Thursday feeling nervous and excited but the main thing is we have our little Olaf 😂 in the freezer.. It's now 5 weeks since my bfn no af just have to wait to get started is the frustrating part as I need two natural af's before my killer cells biopsy hopefull now I'm relaxing my body will return to its normal state  

Love to you all and remember I'm all ears on your chat ladies ❤XXXX


----------



## 76.lou

Stini how did your beta test go on Tuesday?

Chriskirsty good luck for your appointment tomorrow. Have been thinking of you and glad you had a good birthday.

Hello to everyone else xx


----------



## Stini

Hey Lou, 

I decided to cancel the beta - because my hCG levels are so fricking high, all the signs are pointing to me having lost the twin and that causing the bleed. Therefore, it would be possible for my levels to have dipped a bit, in response to the missing twin, but for me to still be pregnant. I thought there was no point in creating additional worry for myself, so I'm now trying to brave it out before the scan next Thursday. 

How's everything going with you? 

Kirsty, glad you had a rocking birthday - you deserve it. 

xx


----------



## Chriskirsty

Thanks ladies  
Stini go you on braving it out really hope all goes well for you from now  

We are just waiting to go in for our review ekkkk this 5 weeks has gone so fast 
Am feeling nervous I'll update you all later 
Kirsty 
Xx.


----------



## cinnamon75

*Stini*that sounds like a really good plan and makes total sense. I can't see how knowing your Beta is going to help in any way.

*Kirsty* How did the review go sweetie?


----------



## NotleyAbbey

Good evening ladies

Here here Stini about your decision with the BETA test. Not long left now until your scan  

Hey Kirsty I hope that your appointment went well. Hopefully you'll now be able to move forward. 

I hope that everyone else is well. Big hugs all  

AFM - we had our scan on Tuesday (6wks+4). We could clearly see a strrong heartbeat and the nurse said that the measurements were good. This still all seems so surreal.  I've officially been signed off from our clinic, which I'm quite sad and nervous about and I have an appointment with my GP tomorrow. I still feel like I'm on the craziest roller coaster ride ever! Thank you once again all for all of your encouraging and supportive words. 

Enjoy the rest of your evening all x


----------



## Chriskirsty

Good morning ladies 

Thank you all for being so supportive to me  
Our review went well  I really feared they would say our embryos weren't good enough or that we should consider donor but they didnt.. Me being the little worry I am went in with two A4 sides of paper full of questions   I asked everything and left no turn uncovered ha.... We had a student doctor in the room with us and he fell asleep my dh was in kinks because I didn't notice I was charging through my questions, it lightened the mood lol 
Basicay they said my egg quality was great dh sperm sample although on the low side was good enough, my lining was ok my hormone levels were ok and that our embryo was a 5.5.2 and it had just been bad luck, I was A bit worried as the one in the freezer is a 3.4.2 but she said not to get hung up on numbers and it was a great sign it made it there as only the best ones do..,so all in all quite postive.. I told her I hadn't had a period and she asked to scan me my lining is at 5 but a lot of the follies are still there filled with water and some are  33mm she said it was hard to tell what was going on so ordered another hcg test and hormone tests.. I don't believe I'm pregnant just Abit all over off the drugs.my linning at ec was 14mm so where has that gone I'm slightly confused . They said they wouldn't advise immune testing as this is yet to be backed up by enough evidence so I'm not sure what to think.. And said hopefully if my results are normal I will have an af soon and can get stated on my fet straight away.. Just not sure if we should go for a medicated or none medicated get any advice ladies??  
Thank you all for your continued support your all amazing  

Notley Abbey congratulations on your scan lovely  that must be amazing and such a huge relief.. I no it probably is scary leaving your comfort zone (your clinic) but your little bubba sounds like they doing well in there and this is happening  sooooo happy for you.. Best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy x 

How are the rest of you doing? When are your scans  

Xxxxxx


----------



## MrsRL

Hi ladies, just dropping in to say hello 

*Stini* - glad to see it is looking good for you 

*Kirsty* - sorry I missed your birthday, happy belated birthday   Glad you had a lovely time. It is also lovely to hear that your review appointment went well and hopefully af will arrive soon so that you can move forward to your next cycle 

Glad all is well for you too *NotleyAbbey* 

I must go and get ready for work now, sorry I've been AWOL recently, I have been struggling a bit but trying to move forward now. My review appointment is next week so will see what they have to say then.

Best wishes to you all xx


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

ChrisKirsty, sounds like there were lots of positives in your review appointment; are you feeling more positive now? Sadly, I think a lot of the time it is just down to chance - some people get that magic combination on their first go, and for others it takes a few more tries to get there. It's just that every try with IVF is so harrowing (and expensive) that it depends on how many times you can face doing it. The immunes are experimental, and are likely to be that way for a while. It's so hard to do controlled trials in IVF, and if you're just doing it on a patient-by-patient basis, you have no idea whether the extra thing you did this time made a difference, or whether it's just chance. I mean, I had prednisolone, clexane, scratch(ish) and glue on my second cycle, and nothing, and had them all again this time, and BFP - so there's no way of knowing if they've helped at all, or whether it's just my embryos were better this time, and so would have worked without all the extras. 

I'm glad they're checking out why you've had no AF, you must feel relieved that they're looking at that? 

MrsRL - hope your review appointment helps you move forward. I don't think they realise how stressful waiting for the appointments is, and how much you think over everything that happened, and worry over every detail. Hopefully they'll be able to come up with some sort of plan for you. Sending hugs - I know how horrible this time is. On our last failed cycle, we went on holiday immediately after - like, got the BFN on Friday, booked the holiday on Sunday, were on a plane on Thursday (we'd kind of expected it to fail, and booked the time off ahead), and I've got to say, it really really helped. Just being away from your normal life for a while, and having time together as a couple. I know not everyone can do that, but do not underestimate the healing effects of a margarita on a beach somewhere  

NotleyAbbey - glad things are going well. We're at that stage too - cleared by our clinic to go and be "normal" people. Very weird. Good luck!

Stini, Lou, Cinammon, hope you're all well  

AFM I've finally acheived a state of odd, zen-like calm. My scan was brought forward because I'd had some spotting, and it was all fine, but then there was more bleeding post-scan, and it was like I reached maximum worry capacity, and just powered down. I told myself that dildo-cam had probably caused the extra bleeding (which stopped within a couple of hours), and somehow just managed to let it go. Then I was just crazy tired, had a great night's sleep, and feel almost blase about everything now. The last couple of weeks have been such an emotional rollercoaster, and I think last night I finally managed to put my feet back on solid ground.


----------



## Chriskirsty

Thanks rumplestiltskin  
Yeah I'm feeling much better about it and a think your right it's just trail and error, our doctor said if it worked after immune testing as you say to it could still be by chance.. So we are proceeding without them.., I'm pleased they are looking into my no show af, and I'm pleased with how the appointment went they said my eggs were good and I'd be suitable for egg sharing as a way to help us pay for treatment but for us I feel at this present time is not an option as dh sperm count is low we'd be halving our chance.. I get a lot  of eggs but the fertilisation isn't as good, for now it's going to my financed by Us But depending how many goes will depend if we go down that route  I just hope our  embie survives the thaw and is the one that makes our world complete.. 
I'm glad ur felling better within yourself, anxiety is such a huge battle within itself  but a hope now you've had your scan and the bleeding had stopped you'll start and enjoy this time lovely u deserve it  


Mrs rl hello lovely to see you posting .. Thank you for the birthday message  I hope your doing as best you can  I no how you feel but I promise you the pain will subside and you'll be able to focus forwards not backwards.. I hope your appointment goes well and you and your dh have a new plan of action xxxx


----------



## June2015

Well hello ladies!!!! I've been off line for a few weeks, not posting much, but reading everyday your updates. You're all wonderful!  

Excellent news *kirsty* that your review meeting went well. That poor junior doctor, how's he going to learn if he's kipping all the time 

I'm pleased all the signs are positive and you've had reassurance that both you and DH have good quality eggs/swimmers. Strange about your AF, really annoying in fact, but hopefully it'll arrive soon and you'll be able to crack on. On not sure about medicated or not on the FET, and would be interested to hear what the others' say. Maybe there's info on the FET boards?

Oh, also happy belated birthday..... Next year's the big one hay! Whoooop whoopp

*MrsRL*, I agree with *Rumpelstiltskin* about a holiday. My DH and I are planning a trip for when we finish this round irrespective of the result, just to allow for breathing space. Love and hugs to you hun.

Also, so pleaded *Rumpelstiltskin, NotleyAbbey and Stini* about your BPF, it's great to see you're having scans and all of progressing as it should. I love it.

Hello to everyone else, not sure if you're all still lurking in the background, like I do, but big shout out to you in case .....cinnamon, lou, katfish, Mrs London, Mrs Chef, Hollywood , I've missed loads I know, sorry XXX

AFM, I had my 2nd cycle and got 2 follicles, 1 egg. I was gutted, but it went on to fertilise and divide so they have frozen it. Now we have 2 on ice. Next round starts end September. It's a long old road we're all on....

Anyway, happy damn Friday to you all and catch up soon xxxxxx


----------



## Little Small

Hi girls - sending hugs to all that have had good news. I do wish I was still with you but I do feel blessed that I got to experience my first ever pregnancy   I guess our little one just wasn't strong enough to fight.  I have to believe that one day we will get there though.

Anyway - just hello - I'm still here keeping an eye out for you all 

Much love xxx


----------



## June2015

Little Small, so sorry for you hun. Lots of love


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

Little Small! So lovely to see you back   I've been thinking of you lots. So, so sorry for what happened. It's brilliant that you're taking something positive from this cycle - and it is a really important positive. You've done amazingly. Have you got a follow up appointment with you clinic booked? So glad you popped in to say  

June - another frosty in the bank!    Well done! Slow and steady, sweetie


----------



## WeeJacs

Hi All

Just wanted to pop on to say Hi to you all. I'm still around but mainly on the Miscarriage forum, feel its the best place for me at moment.

Received a review appt with Dr Lyall for next week but we've cancelled it and rearranged it for 2 months time, just dont feel ready to move forward at the minute. Was'nt expecting one so soon if i'm honest.

We've decided to try and live a normal life for the next wee while and try naturally again before going through our next cycle.

Best wishes and love to you all  

x


----------



## MrsRL

Hi Ladies, sorry I didn't post properly earlier. I had to rush off and get ready for work!

*Kirsty* - thank you for your lovely words   It really sounds like your review appointment was positive and that you got some positive feedback from it and like Rumplestiltskin said, sometimes these things are down to chance unfortunately. It is interesting what they said to you about egg sharing, it is something I am looking into as we are financing this ourselves from now on. The thing that puts me off is fertilisation rates and if we have the drop off like the first time, but maybe they have suggestions for that. It also depends how good my eggs are, which we will find out next week! I had to laugh at the student doctor falling asleep  how funny!! I hope it lightened the mood somewhat  I would go with what your clinic advises as to medicated or non-medicated, hopefully they will advise you  I'm glad they are looking into why you haven't had af yet either and hopefully you get some answers. How are you feeling about everything now? xx

*Rumplestiltskin* - thank you for your lovely words  Unfortunately going away wasn't an option for us as I went into a no leave period at work. We are going away for a few days in October though  Things aren't as raw as they were but some things in real life make it hard at times, which I will explain shortly  That must have been so worrying for you with the spotting, the worrying never ends does it?! I'm so pleased the scan went well for you and that you are feeling calm now. I hope it continues, you really deserve it  

*June* - so lovely to see you and congrats on getting another embie in the freezer. It is definitely a long road but hopefully it is all worth it  Thanks for your lovely words   I agree with you, SO pleased it is Friday 

*Little Small* - so sorry lovely   I am truly gutted for you. I agree that you definitely have to believe you will get there one day and I believe you will too. You are one strong lady and I wish you all the very best xx

*WeeJacs* - lovely to see you here  I'm glad that you are getting some support from the miscarriage forum, hope it is helping you to move forward  I don't blame you for re-arranging the appointment if you don't feel up to going. You need some time away from IVF and to live a 'normal' life again for a while. Best wishes to you for when you decide to cycle again xx

Hello to *Cinnamon*, *Lou*, *NotleyAbbey*,* Stini* and if you are still reading this... *Katfish*, *LDW*, *MrsChef*, *Mrs London*, *Hollywood* and all of the other wonderful ladies on here   

AFM - as I said earlier I have been struggling a bit in general mainly in a 'why not me' kind of way and it is not helped by the fact that on ** and at work, out and about etc everyone around me seems to be pregnant or announcing the birth of their child. My friend that got pregnant by accident also had her baby which I found difficult and it sounds very mean but I found it hard to be happy for her. I sometimes feel that infertility has turned me into a horrible person and I struggle to be happy for people that breeze through it all and get pregnant when they choose or even by accident etc, I don't know if it is normal or not but the green eyed monster appears and it makes me quite bitter! I honestly don't feel the same way about people on here and I'm genuinely happy for you, but in real life I often struggle! Has anyone else found this? I know deep down I probably am happy for them but can't help feel bitter too! I also find it hard as there is no-one in 'real life' that I can talk to friends-wise that would understand, as no-one else has had the same issue. I think it would help if I could, but unfortunately not. It's good that no-one I know is going through the same struggles I guess, but hard in another way. Anyway I am rambling here!!

As I said my review is next week so hoping to get some answers then. We won't be planning another cycle with them as we want to change clinics. We are looking at attending some open evenings at local clinics in October/November time so we can make a decision and go from there.

Does anyone have anything nice planned for the weekend?

Take care everyone xx


----------



## MrsLondon

Hi Mrs RL, just wanted to say good luck for your review and that I'm so sorry that you've been struggling. I'm the same, have felt SO bitter towards other people in the past, yet on here I am completely and utterly happy for everyone. My own SiL had an ectopic pregnancy over the summer and my first thought was well at least you know you can get pregnant naturally. Feel like such and awful person sometimes.

ChrisKirsty - I'm glad your review went well, I know they advised not getting your immunes done, are you still going to get them done? I can't remember what you said. If it was me I probably would. 

June - Really happy to hear that you have another frostie.

WeeJacs - I'm sorry that you're still hurting and good job on postponing the review, you need to take as much time as you need. 

Hi to everyone else, just rushing out xxx


----------



## Katfish

I'm really sorry LittleSmall that you have miscarried you must be devastated I really do feel for you! This process is such a roller coaster of emotions and when you think you have jumped the last herdle there's another one lining up in front of you! Many hugs to you and the DH!

Sorry WeeJacs also to hear that you have also had a miscarriage I am sending you the same message as I've said to Little Small and the same hugs to you and your DH!

ChrisKirsty glad your appointment went well and they are looking further into why you have had no full AF!

June2015 glad you still got one to freeze even though it's not what you wanted but better than none!

Love to you all!

AFM - still really struggling, my sister who I had mentioned previously having to be re admitted into the Anorexia ward took an overdose yesterday she is ok and apparently confused but luckily she told the staff on the unit after she did it! Added stress that I really didn't need! I'm waiting now for the AF it was due yesterday/today and I'm getting cramping so it will hopefully be soon!


----------



## peaches212

Hi everyone , how are you all feeling ? I was wondering if I could be added to Board please I had my embryo transfer yesterday and my test date is 22nd feeling really nervous anxious now , also I was wondering if anyone knew I had my et yesterday and woke up this morning to clear discharge is that normal ? 

Thanks for any advise you can give me


----------



## Stini

Hi Peaches, 

I think you'd probably be better off in the August/September thread? All of us finished our cycles a long time ago and are just hanging on to support each other now - it's much better to have a board full of ladies who are going through the same thing as you. xx


----------



## Stini

Oh girls. I just want to give everyone a hug. Running about at my book festival this weekend, but saw the sad newses and the stress and just wanted to send everyone a little bit of love. xxx


----------



## Chriskirsty

Ladies I got my hcg result yesterday it was 15 they somehow think I have had a natural Chem pregnancy after the ivf round I really dont no what to think how could that happen we were told it was a million to one chance, I asked if it could of been missed off the beta test following the Ivf  she said it was virtually impossible but I should experience a bleed in a few weeks  and because my linning was so thin on Friday scan they not sure how that has happened as they was nothing in my womb cavity on the scan... 
So sorry for the lack of personals but my heads in the shed I was pregnant and didn't even no it 
XXXX


----------



## MrsLondon

ChrisKirsty - I'm so sorry,  it's just one thing another with you. I really hope you catch a break soon love, you deserve some good news. Lots of hugs


----------



## 76.lou

Chriskirsty- I'm so sorry that news must have thrown you abit. You have been through a lot this cycle. Thinking of you xx


----------



## Chriskirsty

Thanks for your kind words ladies  it means a lot that your all there supporting me. I'm in shock that it's Happened after all these years of nothing.. I guess it just wasn't meant to be.. Fx our embryo that's made it to the freezer is the one that is sticky for us.. Dh is seeing is seeing it as a good thing and is secretly happy he had swimmers strong enough but for me it does further enhance my worry that Something is not quite right with me 
Have a nice weekend ladies  
Xxx


----------



## MrsRL

Sorry to read this Kirsty, it must have been a shock for you. I really hope your frostie is the one that makes it. You really deserve some good luck lovely   Will you still have other tests just to throw everything at it? xx

Mrs London - thanks for your reply and lovely words. I'm glad I'm not the only one but do feel like a horrible person at times! How are things with you? x

Katfish - sending   Sorry to hear about your sister x

 to everyone else! (Sorry, on my phone ) xx


----------



## MrsLondon

Katfish - I'm not sure I replied to your post, I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. Life is being very cruel to you at the moment. I really hope things are on the up!

MrsRL - thanks for asking after me, technically I'm fine. I haven't had any symptoms though and so I'm really worried that we are going to get bad news at our early scan (7w1d) next week. There's been quite a few on the early pregnancy waiting for a scan board who have had bad news recently so I'm now petrified that I'm also going to be one of them. It's never ending the worry. All through stimming you worry about how you'll respond, then you worry about the number of eggs, then the fertilisation, then the transfer, then the 2ww and then even if you are lucky enough to get that BFP you worry constantly until your first scan and then it will probably continue until your 12 week scan and so on. It's just never ending and something that women who have normal pregnancies never have to worry about. Apart from the 12 week on obviously. I bet if I got pregnant naturally I'd be thanking my lucky stars that I haven't got morning sickness or fatigue but all I can do is worry that that's something wrong  . DH hasn't been much help either which is a bit crap, all the focus is on is sister and her ectopic. We have to go round there in a bit because she's feeling a bit down today. I feel like jumping up and down in the air screaming hello?! I'm here too and feeling pretty rubbish as well! Sorry for just unloading on you like that...guess I just needed to let it out. Hope you're having a good day xxx


----------



## Catf2008

Mrslondon - huge hugs to you xxx


----------



## MrsLondon

Thank you Catf2008, hope you're doing ok? Xxx


----------



## MrsRL

No worries Mrs London  Sending you   The worry never ends does it? We're all here to get our BFPs, but that is only the first hurdle. What it would be to be pregnant naturally without any of these worries. I really hope it's good news for you at the scan. Sorry to hear your DH isn't being supportive. Although it is awful for his sister, you need him too and hasn't his sister got a partner to look after her? Also sorry to hear about the bad news on the early scan thread, it's devastating   Hope things improve for you, you don't need the added stress  

xx


----------



## Catf2008

I'm not to bad Mrslondon panicking about Thursday but just trying to tell myself I can't change the outcome so just trying to relax.

How are all you ladies doing?


----------



## Melly2015

Hi Ladies,

*Kirsty*- my heart goes out to you...you've been through a lot, and the last thing you need is something else to mess with your head. Keeping fingers crossed that your little frostie is a sticky bean...hopefully that will be the same for both of us!  When are you going to be looking at FET

* 
MrsLondon*, hope you're ok and not worrying as much today- same goes for all the other pregnant ladies, hope that you're not stressing too much and everything is going ok for you all. 

So sorry to the ladies that have had bad news recently...*Little Small* and *WeeJacs*...keep strong, sending you hugs   

*Katfish*, sorry to hear about your sister. Hope you're doing ok and that the stress calms down a bit for you soon

*Rumplestiltskin*, glad you're not stressing too much about things- sounds like it's all progressing well. Also wanted to thank you for your kind words to me last week- am starting to come to terms with the fact that it's ok not to feel ok (if that makes sense), which is helping me a little bit

AFM- still pretty raw about the bfn but starting to move on a little bit. Our review is next week and I'm really keen to get started with our FET. We are lucky enough to have 5 frosties waiting for us, which is a brilliant number, and hopefully one of them can go on to be our little ice-baby. Got a much needed week off work this week, myself and DH are heading down to Devon tomorrow for a few days to celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary which is on Thursday in a nice hotel with some good food and champagne . Hoping this will help me chill out, and get my head into the best place possible before all the fun starts again!

Hugs to everyone else 

xx


----------



## Little Small

Thinking of you tomorrow Catf xXxX good luck (I'll wear my special good luck socks for you)     

Thank you Melly - sounds like you have a very happy lovely weekend ahead. Good   xxx


----------



## mrschef04

Hello everyone, I thought I would come on again to say hello and support you all.  I read the "early pregnancy" boards and wow, that's a big scary roller coaster in itself.  No wonder most of you want to stay on here!  I got back from Bestival on Monday and it did help to clear my head.  I have to admit that I never felt more clingy and vulnerable than after my BFN.  The day I started bleeding and I knew it was the end, I had my night to myself with my embryo.  I still can't think of that night alone saying goodbye without crying.  It's been a month and I still have to compose myself a bit.  I don't think anyone else will understand except you guys, but I needed time to grieve and heal a little bit.  I really needed to get my mind off of the IVF stuff, so I had to step away from the boards.  I'm feeling a lot better now, but now a bit in limboland.  I got my letter for my follow up appointment on Tues, 29th September in the afternoon and I'm now scared that they will tell me there is no hope, that my cycle was the worst they have ever seen and that I should give up now.  

Catf - good luck with your scan today.  I'm really really rooting for you, honey!  

Chriskirsty - I know exactly how you feel honey.  I thought it was for me too when I was pregnant in the middle of IVF.  It kind of throws another spanner in the works of this IVF thing.  I hope you are okay honey and stay strong.  

For everyone else, lots of big hugs and I'll be keeping watch over all of you and hoping for nothing but the best for each one of you! xxxx


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## Katfish

MrsChef I'm glad that you are feeling a bit better it's very hard when stuck in limboland and it's very hard to get your head around the BFN and block all those things out from going around your head! The worry going up to your follow up is also so so hard thinking of every possible outcome and mainly thinking of the negative and ignoring any positive thoughts due to they annoyance that we didn't get our positive! Good luck for your follow-up and hopefully you will hear a better outcome than your expecting!

Catf good luck for your scan!

ChrisKirsty I'm really sorry to hear that you have had a chemical pregnancy hopefully your frostie will be your BFP 

Thank you everyone for your support with my sister it's definitely not what I wanted to hear about and causing a lot more added stress! The DH keeps telling me not to stress as it's not worth it but not easy to be able to not stress! I'm also stressing as my AF hasn't arrived! Currently on day 34 of my cycle! I keep having some cramping pains and thinking it's about to arrive but still no sign! Since stopping the implant and the pill in March it has been all over the place! But ranging between 27days till 39days! I worry too because if this AF and the next AF are too late then I will not be able to start the next cycle until after Christmas because the clinic closes for two weeks (lucky for them hey!). The stress isn't helping I know but I just want it to arrive!


----------



## Stini

hi girls. too knackered to update properly (mrschef, have been trying to finish email to you since lunchtime). Just wanted to pop in and give a little love to Mrs RL, Katfish, LittleSmall and Kirsty. You guys are being so brilliantly strong. 
Scanning at lunchtime tomorrow. Terrified and going to some dark places. Other than that, just knackered. Like old horse.

Hugs to everyone.


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## clairex3

Morning,
hope you dont mind but found myself wanting to come and share with you guys as you were so supportive when i had my bfn in July, i dropped off as although i liked to pretend everything was fine i did find it very hard to get my head round, so buried my head a bit and rushed straight back into the game with our 1 little frostie that yesterday turned into a bfp!  cant belive it and fear of it going wrong now is like a stress i have never known! 
Sorry some of you have had such hard times through this, sending love and hugs to everyone on their journeys and positives for the future.
Take care
Claire xx


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## cinnamon75

Hello fellow cyclers!!

It's so good to see lots of familiar faces on here, this thread is like my comfort blanket.

*Claire* nice to hear from you sweetie!!

*Stini* you know I send you the BIGGEST amount of luck for today 

*Catf* I've read your fab news and I'm so so so happy that at last that early pregnancy thread is getting some good luck!!

*MrsChef* It's so good to hear you sounding happier again and you really sound like you are in a better place after some time to grieve  We might end up cycling again together, who knows?!! xxx

*Katfish* Big hugs to you with everything you are dealing with at the moment. Stress can delay your AF too so it's not surprising it's a bit late, it must be so frustrating waiting for the old bat to arrive. I'll do my AF dance xxx

*Little Small* oh blimey, my heart really does feel warmer for seeing all these familiar names on here. How are you doing my lovely? Not long until Monday now 

*Melly* Five frosties is such an amazing number - you truly are a mean embryo making machine!! One of those is going to get you that BFP so not long now to wait 

*MrsLondon* two more sleeps sweetie   I have everything crossed for you xxx

*MrsRL and 76.Lou* what are ladies up to now, are you cycling again soon?

*Rumple* Keep strong, I have a good feeling that you are going to have a great 9 months xxx

*Kirsty* Last but not least, Kirsty. I cannot believe what you have had to go through lovely lady. Life really is throwing some challenges at you. Every time you get past one it proves even more how you are going to be such a strong and amazing mum one day.

Afm, well most of you know already but my BFN has not ended well either  I was told on Tuesday I have a "pregnancy of unknown location" which means it isn't viable and I'll either lose it naturally or will need medical or surgical management (for example losing a tube!). I think last night I lost it naturally (I won't go into details) so hopefully my second HCG and progesterone test today will show that and I won't need medical management which would mean not being able to conceive for three months. I can't stress enough that I was NOT prepared for the land of pregnancy and I am now unsure as to whether I am more terrified of not getting there again or having to go through that again! I can only try to believe and learn from others experiences that is CAN and DOES have a happy ending most of the time. I am feeling a million times better today though and have even started to look at my next cycle in Gennet, Prague. I had an email today to say that I just need to give them the OK to proceed and I'm off again hopefully!!!


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## Katfish

Hi everyone 
Someone at work was telling me about Professor Winston on this Morning the other week and I thought I would share his article with you! He has also got a book out now!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3229616/Professor-Robert-Winston-says-couples-struggling-conceive-missing-cheaper-treatments-cure-infertility.html

X x

/links


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## Chriskirsty

Evening lovely ladies 
I'm sorry ive been awol since last week, I just needed to get my head around our news.., I just want to thank you all so so much for the supportive messages.. I'm still Abit bewildered that it happened, I'm yet to have a bleed but starting to get the pains as though it's coming and tbh am ready for it now.., I just want to move on from the failed Ivf and the Chem that happened afterwards..,on speaking to my Drs they said maybe I realeasd more eggs afterwards myself from  The small follies and because there was more the sperm made it.. Who knows.. It's something that will remain unanswered.. I just have to wait for a bleed ring my clinic and on day 21 start again on a fet.. Dh and I did wonder if we should wait a few months but I think I'd only dwell where as this means we keep moving forward.. 

Cinnamon Awwww sweetie I'm so sorry your bfp hasn't had that ending we all prayed it would.. That must be as difficult..I hope you and your dh are ok and we are offfering you lots of support to keep going.. This is such an uncertain journey and so so hard, I just hope you take time regain your strength to keep going down this road I'm sending you lots of hugs   And postive thoughts for your cycle in Prague 

Claire Awww wow Claire congrats on your bfp that's gave me hope for my fet  so soon after your bfn I'm thrilled for you..  how many frosties did u have? We have one so I'm a tad worried to say the least  

Stini- hello lovely lady?? How has your scan gone today i woke up thinking of you all praying you saw one little strong bubba in there  

Mrschef glad to read your post., I hope I end up cycling along side you again your an amazing lady so supportive and strong.. I hope your next cycle brings that happy news for you and please don't worry your clinic will not say that to you you got right to the end like me just without our bfp's but you still made it to the end xx 

Melly great news you have 5 frosties your baby is definitely on Ice, sending you best wishes for your fet? When are you getting started Hun?! Xx

Mrs rl i hope your doing ok, I often think about you guys and pray your next cycles have a sucess full out come when are your reviews?? I hope your plan with vitamins works out for you and you get lots of juicy eggs and sperm  and you make some amazing embryos  

Katfish Im Sorry to read about sister, that must be hard on your all.. I do hope your af arrives soon and you can get moving.. Xx

Lou 76 and Catf how are you guys doing?? 

Mrs London have u had your scan I've had my fingers and toes crossed for you  

Rumple- how are you doing?? I hope your pregnancy is going well  

Wow I feel like we are all back ladies, I no this journey is so ********* hard the best part is I crossed paths with you ladies along this bumpy road.. I think some of us may end up being cycle buddies again ohh a do hope so 
Love to you all Kirsty 
XX


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## Stini

Aw, thank you Kirsty. I did - we have a heartbeat, and have braved it enough to tell the families, at least! My fella is an emotional wreck. I'm just exhausted - not sure whether it's emotional, physical, or both. More later, with personals, my lovelies. xxx


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## Chriskirsty

Stini yeyyyyy so happy for you and your dh that's amazing news.. Enjoy telling your families your amazing news you deserve this time to be fussed over and all the excitement it brings 
 xxxxxx


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## clairex3

*kirsty*
We only had the one, so totally get why your worried, I genuinely didn't expect it to work and didn't think it had from day 2 i had cramping and af pain which hasn't eased and the cramping has now intensified so shocked just really doesn't come close to how we feel , so try and be positive it CAN happen


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## MrsLondon

Evening ladies,

MrsChef - Nice to see you back on here, I often wonder how you are doing. I really hope your review appointment goes well. Don't worry, I'm sure they won't say that you're the worst case they've seen and that you have no hope. Hopefully they will do more tests first and alter your meds.

Clairex - Fantastic news!! A huge congratulations on your BFP. Hoping that everything else goes smoothly for you.

ChrisKirsty - Thanks for good luck wishes, we shall see but I feel so completely normal that I will be surprised if there is anything there to see. Literally zero symptoms. My scan is on Saturday so nearly there. 

Cinnamon - Glad to hear that you're feeling better, although nothing will mask the sorrow that you had to go through, getting back on horse might help. Thanks for the kind wishes. 

Melly - Hope your review goes well and that you're having a lovely anniversary getaway in Devon. Enjoy the champagne while you can. I'm sure that one of your frosties, preferably the next one is the one. I've stopped worrying now but only because I've made my mind up that it's over.

Katfish - Hope your AF behaves so you can get going again soon. I read the link you posted, it makes an interesting read.

AFM - I just wanted to apologise for being so miserable and moany lately. I know I keep going on about how I have no symptoms and think it's the end and everyone keeps reassuring me that many women don't have symptoms and maybe I'll be one of the lucky ones but I can't accept it. Reason being, (I haven't told more than a handful of people this so it's a massive deal to me that I'm sharing this), when I was 20 I was engaged to be married, really young I know. He was in the forces and we just fell into this whirlwind. Anyway I fell pregnant but it didn't last. I don't even know how far gone I was, all I remember is that I was less than 12 weeks for sure, I think it was somewhere between 4-8. However, I did have symptoms, a lot of them. I remember throwing up twice, my sense of smell being very sensitive, so much so that I could smell my neighbours food cooking. Pizza also made me want to vom. I was also really tired that I just fell asleep on public transport one day. I know that it was almost 15 years ago but the fact is I had the symptoms and my mum and sister suffered too with morning sickness etc through all their pregnancies that it just doesn't add up that I am absolutely fine this time.  See this is why I keep going on and on and why I'm so worried. Anyway I thought I would let you know so you don't just think that I'm a whiny mare. I actually feel ok at the moment, I think that if it is bad news at my scan then I'll be able to move on quicker because I've never actaully felt pregnant so it won't feel as if I've lost something (she says). Who knows I might be the complete opposite and be a wreck but thats what I'm hoping for. Sorry for rambling on, had a sharing moment. Love to you all xxx


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## Chriskirsty

Claire thank for the encouragement I hope my little one does as amazing as yours.. Congrats again !

Mrs London Awww honey I'm sorry to read your suffered a loss those years ago how upsetting that must of been, I no I'm no expert but  just wanted to give u some positivity, my mam had my sister and was really ill with sickness bloating, dizziness and stayed in hospital for 3 months as she Was that bad, then when my sister was 12 weeks old she found out she was 6 weeks pregnant with me and she had no symptoms, there's only 10 months between my sister and we are both 29 at the minute which is strange lol but her pregnancies where so different in such a short space of time so what I'm trying to say is please remain postive lovely I have eveything crossed for you.. 
Xxxxxxx


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## Chriskirsty

Clare sorry I forgot to ask did u do a medicated or non medicated fet weve opted for medicated just hope I've done the right thing xx


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## clairex3

we went for a medicated short protocol *kirsty* first time round in July was also s/protocol ,with suprecur and gonal then 400mg cyclogest once a dayand i rested completly for the 2ww, this time i have been oestrogen tablets 3 x and 200mg utrogestan pessaries 3 x so maybe its the added progesterone that has been the key i dont know, but this time i went back to work part time in the playgroup the next day on light duties no lifting, and then within a week i'd gone back to the night shifts also again just being sensible but has any of this made a difference we'll never know for sure but we're just looking at it just wasn't meant to be last time and hopefully this is the time for us but i wasnt happy to leave it completely in the hands of fate and thats why we went medicated at least its helping the dude stay put x


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## Chriskirsty

Claire thank you  weve opted for it for those reasons to do my progesterone can be monitored etc.. Have you got your scan booked in? Thanks for the positivity I'm going to start this next round ask anew women no stress or worry... Lol I hope so anyway xx


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## MrsLondon

Thank you Kirsty, you post has given me a little ray of hope. I don't really like to talk about the past and have spent a lot of my life since then pretending that it didn't happen but obviously going through all this again has opened the wounds. If this doesn't work I will most likely have a medicated FET with our frostie as well. Don't feel like I can have a non medicated one, esp as I had problems with my lining. Hope you have a lovely Friday xxx


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## clairex3

lol *Kirsty* at the thought of going in to it with no stresses haha we know full well thats not going to happen! it really isn't possible its the most stressful thing in the world! yeah my scan is booked for 9th October so praying that we get there, if we could i'd stay in bed and not move for the next 3 months lol x


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## SaffiBlue

Hi ladies. I hope you are all well. I regularly checked the board to see how everyone was doing and it's great to see those bfp's. Not so great to see the bfn's and losses. Big hugs to those ladies.  I have a little question ... My treatment was halted prior to ec as the follies weren't growing as they should. However nearly 6weeks after stopping the jabs there is still no af!! I have done a pregnancy test which was obviously a bfn and spoken to the Drs and a nurse at the hospital. They have said give it time blah blah. I'm going up the wall now. I have had permanent pmt and af pains for what seems like an age now!! I just want it to come so I can start thinking about doing the next cycle.  Was just wondering if anyone has experienced the same? xxx


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## Rumplestiltskin

Hi SaffiBlue - that happened to me on my first cycle - I didn't have enough follicles for EC. However, I didn't actually stop the cycle, I "postponed" it - I stopped stims, kept going with the buserelin, and the clinic gave me norethisterone tablets to force a bleed. It took about 2 weeks for all my follicles to shrink back to normal, and then I just started stims again. It meant I was on buserelin for about 3 months, which made me proper doolally, but otherwise it was fine. So I'm afraid I don't know how long it'll take for a natural AF - after that next cycle it took 5 weeks after my BFN. I'm not sure there's much you can do, don't know if you want to ask about using norethisterone? Are you wanting to cycle again straight away?

MwrsLondon - thank you for sharing that with us  I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, really hope that this is your time.

Clairex - what brilliant news! Congratulations!

And you, Stini! Glad the Dot is going strong! 

ChrisKirsty - you're so strong, well done on staying so positive! 

Katfish - you poor thing, having all that extra stress. Really hoping AF arrives so you can get started again before Christmas.

Cinnamon - aww, thank you, that really made me smile  I hope they find something definitive for you. In my general worry about everything, I've come across this website http://www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com/ which I've found really helpful...just to say that sometimes they can get it wrong, and if you're not bleeding or in pain, it might be worth waiting a couple of weeks just to be absolutely sure. I know the waiting is hell, but if it could lead to a positive outcome... I don't want to give false hope, but I'd hate for you to be rushed into anything when they're not certain what's going on. 

Melly - so good to hear from you, glad I could help, that's what we're all here for  I hope you've had a lovely relax, and hope they have useful things to tell you at your review. This is such a hard road, and it is absolutely always ok to not be ok - and that goes for everyone, at every stage. Even when it works out, there are hard moments, and I think everyone who's been through infertility carries the scars for life, whatever their outcomes are. But all of us are awesome. Ever heard of the Japanese art of Kintsugi https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kintsugi? That's us 

/links


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## MrsRL

Hi ladies, I have been reading in here most days but haven't had chance to reply. I apologise in advance if this turns into an epic post!

*Melly *- it's lovely to hear from you  I can understand you feeling raw about your bfn. I really believe that your baby is on ice  Hope you have had a lovely holiday!  We celebrated our 4th wedding anni this year too, time really flies 

*Mrs Chef* - lovely to see you back on here  So glad to hear you are feeling much better now. Good luck for your follow up appointment, I hope it is nothing like you think and you get some answers 

*Katfish *- sending vibes your way for af to arrive (not often we will say that)  Thanks for the link, it makes for an interesting read.

*Clairex3 *- congratulations on your bfp, so happy for you  lovely to hear from you too 

*Cinnamon *- I agree, it's nice that so many of us are posting on here again. I'm so sorry again to hear your bad news   I am  for a happy ending for all of us. Thanks for asking after me, we're not cycling yet, as we're changing clinics so still looking into that and attending open evenings at various clinics  Take care of yourself and sending positive vibes for Prague  x

*Kirsty *- thank you for asking after me. I'm ok, not happy after my review appointment though, will explain below. I can only hope and  we get there some day with amazing embryos  I'm so glad you're sounding much more positive, which is great to see. I might need to ask you about Mr Ramsay at some point if that is ok? 

*Catf *- it sounds like it is good news for you, congratulations  So pleased 

*Stini *- SO pleased for you, congratulations  It's great that you have been able to tell your families 

*Mrs London* - please don't apologise for anything moaning, that's what we're here for. Sorry to hear about your loss in the past, which must have been awful for you. I hope that no symptoms doesn't mean anything and they do say every pregnancy is different. I'm glad you felt able to share your experience with us all. We're here if you ever want a chat. Good luck with your scan, sending every positive vibe possible  

*Saffiblue *- hello, nice to see you here. Sorry I can't help with af, but I know that IVF can cause issues for a few cycles after and make them irregular. Have you tried calling your clinic?

*Rumplestiltskin *- how are things with you? Hope all is well 

AFM -  <--- this shows how I felt after the review appointment yesterday, I was not happy!  Basically we felt like it was a total waste of time going, we didn't feel like we found out anything new and from the start it felt like the consultant couldn't wait for us to finish the appointment and leave. He didn't even seem to know why we were there at first, saying I guess it didn't work then?! He briefly went through the cycle saying I responded as expected to the drugs and had a good number of eggs, which appear to have been good quality. He feels the issue is a sperm issue and that there is nothing we can do. Apparently it is just luck and we're not a hopeless case but it's luck!!! He said it is luck and getting the right sperm sample, which is luck of the draw basically!! I asked if it is worth seeing a urologist and he said not really then changed his mind and said it might be and he will refer us to Mr Ramsay. I then asked about IMSI and he said it might be worth looking into. Without my questions, he would have had no suggestions I queried my low progestrone and he dismissed it yet again. He wouldn't change anything on another cycle, apart from maybe doing IMSI. He didn't seem to have the facts for us, such as what DH's sample actually was like. He also didn't even know whether the fresh or frozen sample was used! He just said it wasn't great!! He said he would have expected the embryos to get to blastocyst for our age but they didn't and weren't of great quality. I don't understand why the frozen sperm sample wasn't used if the fresh wasn't great! He didn't seem to know much about it and I think it is because he is not a specialist in male infertility obviously. In the end I didn't ask many questions as I felt that he was just giving basic answers and not really actually answering us. The appointment has definitely made us realise we are making the right decision to move clinics as they seem very set in their ways and not really willing to listen about any concerns etc. He also said the age thing and that we're young so plenty of time!! I felt very disheartened after the appointment and felt my questions were a nuisance to him and he couldn't get us out the door quick enough  We're still deciding about the urologist, I guess it is worth going to at least one appointment and seeing if there is anything we can do.

I queried af arriving early and he said it arrives 10 days after ET anyway so the fact it was 13 days later was actually good. Why is the OTD so late then!? He totally dismissed low progesterone despite the fact that I have always had borderline results on the blood tests and ov late yet have short cycles.

I was hoping that the appointment would give us some answers but we didn't really find out anything we didn't know. We know DH has an issue but the fact he said there is 'nothing' he can do upset me. He could have suggested seeing a urologist etc but it took me asking! He also didn't seem to have reviewed our cycle until we were sat in front of him and he was looking at a handwritten sheet of paper that someone else had probably written! He dismissed most of the suggestions I made, as apparently it doesn't work like that!

Sorry to go on, but I just felt so disheartened by it all! We know for sure we are making the right decision to change clinics, I don't ever want to go there again! 

Sending   to anyone that needs them. It's nice to see so many ladies posting in here again! Take care all xx


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## MrsLondon

Mrs RL I'm so sorry that your review appointment was so rubbish. What a miserable @*!? Sounds like a good plan to change clinics l. Have you found one? It must have been such an awful experience for you. 

AFM - just wanted to let you know that my scan went well. There is one embryo inside me, looking fine for the 7w1d that I am. 

Hope today is happy for you all. Xxx


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## Stini

Oh Mrs London, fabulous news. So, so pleased.       

Mrs RL, I wanted to share your frustration.   I've had consultants like this before and wanted to slap them. What an  FFS. We were put in this sort of limbo for ages too - the sperm is the problem, but generally fertility clinics treat with IVF, which is a gynaecology issue, and they don't actually have anyone on staff who KNOWS about sperm. However, there's a thing where (particularly male) consultants don't like to admit they don't know anything about a particular issue, so you're left with a great big shrugging void. It took us a couple of cycles to realise that nobody was going to help us and just decide to do our own research. 

Ladies, I'm off up north to a bothy to get some work done - should hopefully not be online for a week (if you see me on here chase me off). Just in case my silence worried anyone!


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## Katfish

Fab news for you Mrs London!

AFM - waiting to hear from the unit as AF still yet to arrive and currently on day 39 of my cycle. Did a HPT this am as expected that's one thing they would suggest which obviously came back as BFN. Obviously it was sore to see it but seeing as the DH has no sperm it's as expected! Obviously something inside made me pray it was the other way around! I just want answers and to get past one if the first hurdles to cycle again!

Wishing everyone all the best! X x


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## MrsRL

Congratulations *Mrs London*, fab news    Thank you, we haven't found a clinic yet, we're attending some open evenings and will decide after that. It was awful and has put me off of ever going back there!

*Stini *- thank for sharing in my frustration   I thought that might be the case that he doesn't have the knowledge about sperm as at first he said no to seeing a urologist as it's a waste of time in his eyes then he back-tracked and kept saying a urologist could advise when I asked questions!! I will be doing my own research and possibly seeing a urologist to see if there is anything they can do before spending out loads of money on IVF. I hope you are getting on well up north and not reading this 

 to everyone else  Thinking of you all xx


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## Melly2015

Hi ladies,

*MrsLondon*- that's great to hear, glad it's all looking good for you 

*MrsRL*, that sounds so frustrating about your review appointment  . At least if you're going to some open days, you can chat to the staff there and see if any of them have any particular expertise in male factor issues?

*Katfish*- Hoping that AF arrives for you soon- as I've mentioned below, I know how you feel about doing a HPT when you know it's unlikely to show up anything positive- it still hurts, doesn't it? 

*Stini*-hope you're well and as MrsRL says- that you're not reading this!! So glad your scan went well for you 

*Claire*- congrats on your bfp. As Kirsty said, it's really nice to hear your news as I'm hoping to go into a FET as soon as my clinic will let me, so is great to hear that it worked out so well for you

*Kirsty*- how are you at the moment? Do you know when you might be able to look at doing your FET? 

AFM- had a lovely few days away with DH last week. Was hoping that I could completely forget about all this- but unfortunately had a small hiccup. My AF did arrive- which is great as hopefully my clinic will be able to get me started on my FET fairly soon. However, it was a lot lighter than usual, and I started getting pains in my left side, around where my ovary is. This was how the symptoms started when I had my ectopic pregnancy last year (as the ectopic was in my tube, but at the end, near my ovary). So between me and DH, we decided that I should probably do a HPT in case I'd managed to get pregnant naturally and it was ectopic. So geared myself up to do the test, it was negative (so thankfully not another ectopic)- but I still felt so disappointed after doing it- which makes no sense at all as an ectopic pregnancy would have been horrible. Strange the way our emotions go, isn't it?? So luckily I don't have another ectopic, but still not sure what the pains in my side were...they've calmed down a bit now though.

So, now I'm over all that a bit, and busy noting down questions I want to ask my clinic on Thursday afternoon when I have my review appointment. I really don't know where the cycle went wrong, as we're in the "unexplained infertility" group, and none of the tests we've previously had have shown up any issues. The consultant suspects that it may be internal tube damage- but that's just guesswork based on me not conceiving except for one ectopic pregnancy (which incidentally has meant that I'm not eligible for any NHS funding as I am apparently "able to conceive naturally"- so so frustrating!!!)
Sorry for the bit of a long post- didn't mean for it to end up like an essay...!!! Fingers crossed the review will go ok, and they'll give me the go ahead for FET pretty soon 

Hope everybody's having a good day 

xxx


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## mrschef04

I've had my follow up appointment at Barts today and it was like I have thought.  My FSH levels and my poor response were enough for them to cancel my next two NHS funded cycles of IVF and they will not be funding me further.  We can't afford donor or anything like that, so it is truly the end of the road for us.  I am a bit sad, but also relieved to have answers that I can move on from.  

Thank you all for your kind and wonderful support and I wish you all the best for the future!


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## Chriskirsty

Hello ladies sorry I've been awol I just need time away to get my head straight had yet more hiccups along the way I do hope your all well 

Mrschef I'm sorry to hear that your clinic have come to that decision and your no longer eligible for nhs funding this happened to us after our first cycle after dh op was a fail we were told to move on to donor which for us wasnt an option so ended up going private and with this help we qualified again.. I no it's the opposite way round but all I'm saying is if this is in your future dreams please don't give up, diffrent doctors have different opinions.. We also got told we could opt to change nhs clinics for another opinion, whatever you decide I do hope your both ok thinking of you and sending hugs  

Mrs rl thanks for your kind words any time you need to ask about Dr r ask away I am his number one fan... He made my dh zero to hero after 7 long years...  I'm sorry your appointment didn't go well, how rude of that consultant, I would be the same.. It's good news that your eggs were of good quality and there's plenty of options to help sperm quality and I think your doing a good thing exploring your options and maybe seeing a urologist.., how's the hunt with finding a new clinic going?? 

Melly... Glad your af arrived and you can get started with your frosties any dates yet lovely?? 

Cinnamon I do hope your doing ok..  

Stini how are things with you I hope your pregnancy is progressing well..   

Mrs London yeyyyy I had a good feeling so glad your scan went well and you saw one strong little heart beat in there best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy  

Katfish how are you? I hope your af has arrived mine arrived on Sunday a massive 52 days after my bfn.. 

Afm well as usual nothing with me is simple after a supposed natural Chem I still hadn't had an af after 50 days past my bfn on the 3 of August then I had my natural chem and still no af so I had to go in for a scan on Friday it showed I have a 5.6 cm cyst on my ovary which is producing lots of hormones so by body is retaining my af.., they said although high there was a dip since the Wednesday and that I should get my af and finally after 52 days a got my af on Sunday...., but they have to monitor the cyst so I can't start my fet till the month after so my hubby and I have decided to give my body a break and wait till after Xmas for our fet.., we have our new home to focus on which will be ready in November and we can't bare another sad Christmas due to Ivf failure. We feel we need to enjoy Xmas in our new home and then be ready to face it come jan so I'm feeling sad and happy... Just praying we are 4th time lucky with our one and only snow baby... 
Love to you all Kirsty xxxx


----------



## 76.lou

Hi all,

Mrschef that seems so unfair that they have said that to you and removed your ivf funding. Even though your figures were low you still managed to have an embie to put back which i would have thought was enough evidence to have another go. I'm so sorry for you and hope you are ok. 

Kirsty good to hear from you, and sorry you've been through another heartache with the cyst. 2016 I'm sure will be your year

Mrs London - so pleased to read that your scan went well and hope it feels more real now 

Xx


----------



## Melly2015

Hi all, 

Mrchef- so sorry to hear that they won't fund you anymore cycles, that's really rubbish for you   . Are there any other clinics that you can ask about? I think some are more willing than others to treat high FSH/ low AMH? 

Kirsty- good to hear from you- glad your AF has finally arrived, just seems unfair that you've had some other hurdles to get over in the meantime. Hopefully by next year you'll be fully rested and have your body in a good place to go again and I'm sure 2016 will be your year. Fingers crossed for your little snow baby  

AFM- had my review appointment last Thursday. It went pretty well, they had all the answers to any of my questions and as I suspected they can't see any particular reason that the cycle had failed- but had some suggestions of what we can try with the FET. So I am going to have a scratch and also intralipid infusions which can help if there's slightly elevated NK cells- in case this was the reason that we can't conceive and the cycle didn't work. They suggested waiting until after I have another AF, but I asked if there were any reasons that we couldn't start it this month as I don't really want to be testing coming up to Christmas. So they said there was no reason not to go ahead this cycle as long as I was ready- so we're all go again!!! Scratch is booked in for Monday (little bit aprehensive as I've heard is can hurt!), and then start DR on Tuesday. Baseline scan booked in for 26th October, and if all good at that I'll go on Oestrogen tablets to build up my lining. We also discussed the one versus two scenario- so have agreed that we are having 2 little embies put in  Obviously aprehensive about all this starting again- but also excited. I've got a good feeling about this one- fingers and toes firmly crossed!!!  

xxx


----------



## June2015

Hi ladies

MrsChef, if you're still on here, that's truly gutting news.  The NHS are brilliant in so many ways, but not in this case.  I was also refused any treatment on the NHS due to DOR, but we decided to pay privately as we're not ready to move on yet and we're luckily enough to get the money together. Good luck with everything in your future, take care xx

Kirsty, wow, that's a long time period free and what a drama. I'm pleased you've finally got your AF and have a plan.  Great idea to just enjoy the next few months and settle into your new home.  You'll get there hun xx

Hello to everyone else.  I check in from time to time, and read FF various pages, see how you're all doing and think of you all.  It's strange how you can attach to those you've never met, and comforting too as we're all in the same boat.

AFM, well my third cycle was postponed as I have a cyst apparently, which the doctors think will go by my next period. I'm not sure it's a cyst myself as they said it's 21mm, I think it's a rogue follie from last month, but I'm no medical professional so have to go with what they say. The consultants 90% sure it'll go by my next AF, which is only about two weeks away now.  Hopefully we can do our third cycle in October and get cracking to FET the month after, but as we all know IVF doesn't always go to our timescale.

Have a great day lovelies, wishing all those with buns in the oven a wonderful pregnancy and wishing all those waiting for their next goes all the luck in the world.  Each and every one of you deserve your dreams to come true. Lots of love xxx


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef in really sorry to hear that they have canceled your NHS funding I can't imagine what hour going through at the moment! Wishing you all the best for your future! 

ChrisKirsty oh no that's awful 52days!!!! Mine eventually arrived on day 39! I'm ok however just upset that we will now not be able to cycle now before Christmas due to the dates landing over the days the unit will be shut for Christmas! How are you? I'm really sorry to hear about your cyst! Hopefully your FET will be successful! A met someone with a lovely story about how she cycled got 17eggs 11 fertilised I think she said 9 got to blasts had one put back in and got a BFN then had a natural cycle with no drugs two of her frosties put back in and has ended up with twins both implanted!

Melly good luck with your cycle hopefully it's a BFP for you this time! 

June sorry to hear about your cyst as well! Good luck for your next cycle!

AFM - my AF arrived finally day 39 of my cycle! I'm upset as it looks like I will be missing out starting our next cycle with my next bleed because my scans, EC and ET will be over when the unit is closed for Christmas! So looks like will have to wait until the following bleed! I just hate being in Limbo land between cycles!


----------



## Little Small

Ah HA!!!!!!!! 

Found you    

I haven't read any posts yet but am THRILLED to see all your names.  Very much love to you all xxxxxxx    

I have struggled. But am back


----------



## Katfish

Good to see you on here Little Small! I hope your well! X x


----------



## MrsLondon

Evening ladies,

Have just been catching up with all the posts.

LittleSmall - So nice to see you back, it seems from your post that you're feeling stronger. Sending you lots of love  

Katfish - I can imagine how frustrated you must feel but maybe a break will put you in stronger stead and at least you'll get to enjoy Christmas without having to worry about everything.

June - Sorry to hear about your cancelled cycle, sounds like you have a plan in mind though. How exciting if you do have your FET in November, not long to go  

Melly - How did your scratch go? Really hope this cycle is the one for you.  . Glad that you're feeling positive, do keep us posted.

MrsChef - If you're still on here, just wanted to give you a massive hug.  . I'm so sorry to hear that the NHS wouldn't fund you another cycle. It's not fair for them to take away something that they already offered you. Hope you're feeling better? There are some clinics abroad that are more affordable so maybe you could look into one of them if you feel like you could have another go.

Kirsty - I think you've come up with the best plan. Enjoy your house and Christmas and then 2016 you'll be ready to start with your snow baby.  . I'm sure it will be your time and you'll feel more relaxed being settled in your new home. 

Hope everyone else is well? Thank you all for your lovely wishes following my scan a few weeks ago. I haven't really been on here, being back at work is keeping me very busy. The summer holidays seem like a distant memory now.

Love to you all


----------



## Chavalar

Hi Ladies,

I haven't posted on here for a while. I've been licking my wounds so to speak. I hope you're all doing well.

I had a missed miscarriage on the 11th September at 9 weeks, had a surgical evacuation on the 17th. My breasts started leaking which I thought was a little odd (and very upsetting) called the clinic and they asked me to come for a blood test that day. It turns out my prolactin levels are 850, normal range is 200-600. The nurse mentioned it could be stress or a pituitary tumour and I might have to have an MRI scan. 

On top of all this, I've retained some pregnancy tissue, I've had medical management which hasn't worked. I have another appointment with the consultant on the 26th. They mentioned they may need to operate again. The consultant isn't keen on doing this though. 

I just feel in limbo, I can't move on, I just want to start ttc again and draw a line under this miscarriage.

Does anyone have any experience of prolactin levels or retained tissue?

I'm in a bit of a mess over all this.


----------



## Chriskirsty

Ohhh chavalar 
I'm so so sorry to read that post my lovely,I'm truly sorry this is something you and your dh have had to face.. 
I really haven't any experience I can offer you I'm affaird I just wanted you to no my thoughts are with you, what a roller coaster for you to of gone through, I hope you get some answers soon  
Best wishes to you 
Kirsty 
XXXX 

How's everyone else doing?? 
Xxx


----------



## mrschef04

Hi Chavalar,

I'm so terribly sorry for what you have gone through.  I can't give you any advice on the retained tissue, but I just want to know we are all thinking of you and I'm giving you really big hugs.

AFM - I know I'm still in the grieving stages.  After an early miscarriage in the middle of treatment, the embryo not sticking, the NHS cancelling my next two funded cycles because my IVF cycle went horribly crap, we looked at adoption and it looks like we won't be able to do that as well.  The agencies are requiring a lot more references, as we've only been together three years.  They also want one of us to take up to two years off work (really?).  My ethnicity gets in the way of adopting quicker and then there's the fact that my husband split from his ex, whom he has a child with, and my divorce, where they think we aren't good characters for it.  So no children in any way for us.  I've been dealing with it by taking up smoking again after many years of being smoke-free and going out (not too much.  I'm not really one to go out on the ****), but just taking a break, relaxing, exercising every day, seeing friends and letting my life chill a bit.  I still can't think of my last night with my embryo alone without crying.  I'm okay with not having children, but at the same time, I have to get used to the idea as I had so many plans to teach our children and do stuff with them and love them to bits.  So I feel a bit weird and I think it's going to take at least six months after all of this to finally feel a bit more normal.

I hope all of the rest of you are well and giving you all big big hugs! xxxxxxx


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

Just wanted to pop in and say hello, I think of all of you lots 

Little Small, it's great to see you back. You always come across with such a positive spirit, despite everything that's happened. Really hoping for some good news for you soon. 

MrsChef...just, wow. Where are the words? I can't believe that they're refusing to even try treating you again. I think you're very brave to have looked into adoption at all - just the thought of all the evaluation and judging just makes me feel so inferior and angry at the same time that I've never been able consider it in any serious way. I'm so angry on your behalf for how all these organisations are treating you. I can understand why you might want a cigarette or two after all that! I really hope that you do give yourself some proper time to heal over all this - it's certainly been a h*ll of a year for you. Take everything you need, whatever it is, to get through this.  

Chavalar, I'm so, so sorry. I don't have any experience to help you, but really hoping it's the retained tissue that's pushing your prolactin up, and nothing more sinister (not that that isn't bad enough). I really hope they can do something positive for you at your next appointment. Having it all drag on like this is really adding insult to injury - you can't move on at all until it's all over. Just know that we're all thinking of you  

Kirsty, June, Melly, Katfish - it's really good to see you all here, hope you're all well. 

AFM, I'm fine, as you can see from my signature, things are going really well (touch wood). Just so sorry that so many of you lovely ladies are having such a tough time!


----------



## Chriskirsty

Mrs chef
I welled up reading your post, how tough on you both, I'm so sorry adoption seems like a closed avenue for you, I have to hand it to you you sound very together and so strong you should be so proud of yourselves, have you thought about asking your gp for a referral to a diffrent nhs hospital we were going to do this at one point and the gp okayed that, just diffrent practices  have diffrent protocol and as you did make a little embie that has to be a postive, along this road I've met ladies who have had cycles cancelled with low numbers and then been allowed to go again, I do hope what ever choices you make your at peace with them  

Afm- we have been totally distracted with our new home we have thrown our selves into that, we get the keys in 12 days times and it had been my saving grace in distractions untill it dauned on me we had used all our savings on this, although that had always been the plan I felt like that money was a safety net for more ivf if that's makes sense, and I'm so worried that our frostie will fail, and it'll be game over for us, we'll at least along time to get savings back to where they need to be with a more expensive new build...my emotions are all over I'm just praying our little frostie is our baby xxx
Kirsty 
I hope everyone else is well  
XXXX


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## Catf2008

Mrschef - I can't believe everything you have been through and now you can't even look at adoption either, my heart really does break for you  

Kirsty - good luck with the frostie, I hope that little one is your baby 

Hello to all the other girls here x


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## Chriskirsty

Catf ohhh wow Look at your profile pic amazing  
So very happy for you and thanks for your well wishes 

Rumple hi huni how lovely to read things are going well for you 

XXXX


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## June2015

Hello lovely ladies

Can you believe how fast the time has flown?? It's four/five months since we all started chatting in our cycle buddies group. Ekk! 

Catf, Kristy is right, your profile picture is amazing, really happy for you. I bet you're in amazement everyday?  

Kirsty, very exciting. 12 days will fly by then the hard work of moving sets in lol. But it's great to be able to set up a new home, decorate it, make it your own.  I'm happy that you have so much to look forward too.   with the move.  I truely hope your frosties are the ones.  I think you're a determined person and you'll have your dreams come true xx

Rumpelstiltskin, glad you're doing well and are fit and healthy. Best wishes to you flower  

MrsChef, what a horrible situation to be in. You've had a tough time of it and yet you're still standing.  I don't blame you for having a good time.  I'd be the same.     what's the saying? it never rains, but it pours  , I think the adoption rules in this country stink. I wish you best of luck for the future with your wonderful husband xxx

Chavalar, I'm sorry honey, I've no experience of your situation. I'm sad to read what you've had to go through and wish you a quick recovery so you can cycle again XXX

AFM, I'm still waiting for my AF so I can get cycling again.  One of the problems with low reserves is that periods do whatever they want.....hopefully it'll come in the next week. Then I'll be cycling again  

Hello and lots of love to everyone else if you're still checking in... Lou, melly, Mrs London, katfish, little small, cinnamon, mrsRL, Stini, Claire and saffiblue

I know it's a bit early, but I've been itching to use these so happy Halloween to you all (think I've gone all emoji mad on this post) xxx


----------



## Katfish

Hi Chavalar really sorry to hear that you have had a miscarriage! Before commencing IVF I had some fluid coming from one of my breast when I was on holiday I was very panicked and stressed the dr's didn't worry about it due to there being no smell and was a milk colour rather than a yellow colour! It only happened for a few days!

When my prolactin levels where originally done before commencing IVF they where high and I needed it retesting! They said the main reason it was raised was due to stress so this may be the case for you as you had been worried about the leaking etc! Each clinic and hospital have different ranges as to what they class as being too high as well! Working in neonates I've seen parents with retained tissue they try not to do anything with it but may eventually have it surgically removed if the is no sign of it coming away! I hope this helps you a little! 

MrsChef really sorry also to hear about the struggles that you have been having about looking at adopting! Are you able to look maybe at the foster parents route then that may go on further at some point!

Chriskirsty I'm glad all is going well with the move! And being a good distraction for you! I wish you all the luck with your Frosties too! 

Catf2008  and Rumplestiltskin glad things are going well with you both and fingers crossed it stays that way!  as I'm sure everyone will agree you are what holds us onto the fact that it does happen and hopefully it will happen for us too!

June2015 fingers crossed that your AF comes soon! I know what you mean about waiting for them to come because it's such a pain in the bum! You just want to get going and something you have no control over is what takes the longest! 

All the best to everyone! There isn't much to add on my half! Will be missing this bleed (which will hopefully arrive in the next few days) and using the following as the unit shuts over the Christmas days and don't want things to clash with it! Alright for some hey! I will be working Christmas eve and day! 
But hopefully this will be our time! I hate being in limbo land!


----------



## Catf2008

Thank you ladies, sometime I still can't believe it The picture is from my 10 week scan, I have my 12 week scan on Monday but we've told everyone already as couldn't keep it in and felt so happy after the scan.

Katfish - my fingers are crossed that the next round works for you, it's annoying that you have to delay for Christmas but hopefully a new year will bring you more luck 

June - I hope that AF turns up soon for you & my fingers are crossed for you


----------



## Chriskirsty

Thanks for the well wishes ladies 

I just wanted to jump on and wish catf all the very best for tomorrow at your 12 week scan  

June I do hope af arrives soon for you so you can get cycling again 

Love to you all 
Kirsty 
Xxx


----------



## mrschef04

June2015 – Have your started your FET this month yet?  Thank you for your kind words.  

Katfish – That’s a pain.  I know what you mean, but hopefully you’ll be able to relax and mentally prepare yourself during Christmas! 

Rumplestiltskin – That’s wonderful!  I’m so glad you hit the 12 week mark!  I feel like everything is okay for you and so pleased for you!

Chriskirsty – Thank you for your kind and wonderful message.  I really really truly appreciate it.  I hope your little frostie is the one for you!

Catf – Can I just say that I was so happy you got through and things are working out!  Best wishes for you honey!  I hope your 12 week scan goes well today!!!

Hello to everyone else: Lou, Melly, Mrs London, katfish, little small, cinnamon, mrsRL, Stini, Claire and saffiblue

AFM – Your thoughts and sympathy really brought me through everything.  That's why I can't complain.  And the fact I've seen the likes of Catf and Stini get through just makes me so happy and I feel blessed because they got there.  I can't complain about anything in all honesty.  I got to go through the lows with all of you. So the funny thing is that Chriskirsty was right.  So, it’s been a month since we were told no more funded IVF and one night last week, I had my last little cry with my husband, we held each other and our little fur baby, our cat named Darth, and we closed the door on children.  It felt good and we had been planning our whole year with travel, music festivals and just lots of fun.  

Then, I get a voicemail on Friday evening from Barts saying that they had met with clinicians etc. about my case and that they would like to offer me another round of IVF and that they will call to schedule again next week.  I’m not ungrateful, but it has now messed with my head.  I’ve just closed the door and now they want me to reopen it.  I know I have to go through with it now because otherwise I’ll always wonder “what if,” but at the same time, I just don’t want to go through any of it.  I’m enjoying my life the way it is now.  I’ve taken off all the fat/weight from the IVF and not being able to exercise, I have my plans, I had made my peace with being childless and now another spanner in the works.  Any advice is always appreciated, but I think I just want to go through this IVF cycle doing all of the exercise I normally do and doing extra yoga in the evenings and not even thinking about the IVF, the scans or any of the appointments.


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

Mrschef, thank you for your kind words 

I really feel for you. First off, you don't have to do another cycle. It's your body, and your life, and you are allowed to stop IVF before either exhausting all possible avenues or having a baby. I think we're indoctrinated that we have to keep trying, however long it takes, until we get pregnant. You're allowed to stop at any time. You had an absolute nightmare cycle, and it's ok to say that enough is enough, if that's what you want. For me, I think about half the motivation for doing cycles was to be able to tell people that yes, we really had tried everything, and I don't think that's a particularly healthy motivation for doing anything. On the other hand, a colleague who went through IVF (successfully) referred to it as "insurance against your future sanity" - as you've said, so you never wonder "what if". 

Secondly, I think that's one of the biggest  of this whole process; the way with every failure, every set back, you have to readjust to being childless, and try and accept it, go through the grieving process, and try and be at peace; then you start another cycle, and you're expected to be all positive and focused on getting pregnant, and you have to want it all over again. Then it fails, and to stay sane you have to try and tell yourself you didn't want it so much after all. I felt that so acutely: there were 2 years of knowing we could never conceive naturally before we were able to have our first cycle, and in those 2 years I reached a kind of acceptance of the situation, began to value our childless life, and readjust my future plans. Then there's all the hope of a cycle, and then the awfulness of failure, and then suddenly it's as raw as when we were first diagnosed. All that healing ripped apart. I really don't know any way to make that part easier - I don't think it's really possible.

Finally, on exercise etc during the cycle. For my second cycle, I took about 4 weeks off work in total - from EC to a week past OTD, and the cycle failed. For the third cycle, I only stayed home for the week after EC - 48 hours after ET I was back in work, living my normal life, and that's the cycle that worked. So do whatever you need to make it through. I honestly don't think that many things we do affect the outcome of the cycles (it's not like we're home chainsmoking while drunk and high!) so the main thing is to protect your own sanity. If that means resting for 2 months, do that. If that means carrying on as normal, do that. I know one woman on here who fell down the stairs at the tube on her way back from ET, and got pregnant, and another who had an awful vomiting bug during her 2ww, and got pregnant. Another woman who has followed all the advice, eaten all the right things, meditated, acupuncture, you name it, and she's had 3 failed cycles. So just do what helps you feel good, and know that the outcome is not your fault. 

Take care of yourself, and follow your gut on this one. Remember, you're in charge


----------



## Melly2015

Hi Everyone!

It’s really lovely to come back on here and see some familiar names 

June- hope AF arrives for you soon, and you can get started on your next cycle. Never comes when you want it to, does it! Fingers crossed for you  

Katfish- I’m sorry you’re having to wait until after Christmas now, I hated being in limboland too, it’s rubbish. Just concentrate on relaxing for a bit (I know- easier said than done) and enjoying the Christmas period   . Then hopefully your body will be all rested and ready for a good cycle for you

Little Small- good to see you back, hope you are well   

MrsLondon- hope is all going well for you at the moment  

Chavalar- I’m so sorry to read your post. I know how you feel about the limbo thing. Last year I had an ectopic pregnancy, the remains of which hung around in my tube even after all my HCG levels had gone back to 0. I had so many scans, got passed from the EPU to Gynaecology and back to EPU again. The standard answer seemed to be “come back in 4 weeks for another scan and we’ll see” and I wasn’t able to start back into TTC until it got resolved. It’s really rubbish when you’re in a situation like that, you can’t move on but you’re still trying to grieve for what you’ve lost. I really hope you get it sorted soon so that you can move on, please feel free to PM me if you want to.    

Mrschef-you poor thing, your head must be so all over the place   . If you do decide to go for this cycle, I guess just make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. I know what you’re saying about always wondering “what if” if you don’t go for it- and I think I’d be the same if I was in your situation. You are doing an amazing job of keeping it together, considering that life seems to be throwing the kitchen sink at you. If you do go for it- just do exactly what you feel like during the cycle (within reason obviously- maybe no bungee jumping!!!!) and at least you’ll know that you kept as relaxed as you could during it. Please come back on here and let us know how you get on- fingers, toes and everything else crossed for you  

Rumplestiltskin and Catf- OMG, am so happy for you both     . It really helps me believe that this process CAN and DOES work. Must be so exciting for you both, hope you’re having healthy pregnancies and enjoying the experience with your other halves. Catf- hope your 12 weeks scan goes well today 

Kirsty- I really hope your frostie is your baby too. Try not to stress about the money, hopefully the distraction and excitement of your new home will keep  you going- and you’ll have a lovely place ready for your snow baby in the new year...and won’t need to pay for another cycle  

AFM- am back in the treatment merry-go-round for my FET! I had my scratch a few weeks ago, which went fine and have been going through DR over the past couple of weeks. So am currently enjoying the headaches and hot flushes that come with that. But if this works, everything will be completely worth it. Had my baseline scan today and have a nice thin lining. So will be starting Progyova tablets on Thursday for a couple of weeks to build up my lining for my transfer. Will be having 2 of my frosties put in sometime around the week of the 16th Nov. I’m also having an intralipid infusion, which is to help in case it’s my immune system that’s the issue. More excited than apprehensive this time, which I’m hoping is a good thing. Really really REALLY hoping that this will be our time.    

Hi to anyone else who is reading this... 

Love to you all- you’re an amazing group of people  

xxx


----------



## Catf2008

Mrschef - I really don't know what to say, you really are on a rollercoaster. All I can is with the 'what if' I think you'll ask that question no matter which choice you make. I had a long hard think about our 3rd cycle as I really wasn't sure if I was going to do it but my heart took over and me to try however I have always said I'd never do more than 3 fresh cycles & I will keep to that this baby will be our only one and I'm happy with that.

Melly - good like with this round, I have my fingers crossed for you 

Scan isn't till 4pm so a day of waitting around


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef thank you! I will be DR over chrimbo but not having EC until the new year! that's fantastic news that they are offering you another cycle! Such a shame that they told you it was as an absolute no and then they change their minds! I think it's best like you say to go though it and be happy doing the things you have planned! (I mean I don't know if your on ** but you should see some of the videos on there of all these very heavily pregnant mums doing all sorts of exercise) but I think too is just allow yourself to do what you can and try not to over push yourself! When do they say you can start?!

Melly2015 thank you! Good luck for your Frosties hopefully one if not both will implant for you and you can be enjoying a secret celebration over Christmas! 

Catf2008 I hope that your scan went well for you!


----------



## Chriskirsty

Evening ladies 
I've not had time to catch up with you untill now, it's been a busy old day thank you all for the frostie well wishes and house wishes to, the packing has started, it's been day of mixed emotions excitement for the new house and worry/anxiousness for the future in  terms of financing Ivf, although we have a good solid plan in place that I know is attainable, I'm such  a little miss worrier I can't help meself   Ha  

Ohhhh wowwwww Mrschef I can't believe after finally coming to terms with your decisions, what a shock that must of been, I can totally understand why your head is all over, I am pleased you at least have the choice now as to whether you continue down this road, i no how hard it was for us to be told it would never happen and to be given back that choice was really scary and also overwhelming brilliant too. if you feel like you'd always wonder what if I'd go for the option that would always give your mind the best peace.. If you feel like that s how you want to approach a future cycle then do it  you no your body and what ever makes you feel more in control can't be anything but a postive  I no that's my approach next time, as a cycle of Ivf is tough psyically and mentally and remaining in control can help whatever the outcome.. . I wish you all the best and who knows we may be cycle buddies again  

Catf I do hope your scan went well all the best for the rest of your amazing pregnancy  

Melly Awww thanks lovely how nice of you.. Im glad your scratch went well good luck for your fet, I'll be watching out for your updates and I hope you get your happy ending this time lovely  and it'll spur me on for mine in January  so I'll be waiting to here your good news 

Katfish sorry you have to wait a little longer than you'd of liked to but try and enjoy Xmas that's one of the reasons we choose to wait, I couldn't bear another sad Xmas due to failed Ivf, and if you plan to cycle in jan it sounds like we are buddies..  

Chavalar I don't no if you'll read this but I do hope your doing ok lovely thinking of you and your dh x

Little small you too honey, thinking of you too  

June aww thanks lovely, my doesn't time fly 5 months  
I do hope your af has put her appearance in so you can get started again to add to your collection  

Hello rumple stilt skin I hope all is well with you  

Sorry if I've missed Anyone... 


Kirsty xxxxx


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## Catf2008

Thank you ladies, the scan went very well, we have a very active wiggly baby and it took the sonographer nearly 45 minutes to get all the measurements but so far they said everything is looking great but they double check at 20 weeks. The only issue they found is I now have a fibroid growing in my uterus it won't affect the baby but they have to monitor it as could affect the birth as it's low down.

I hope all you ladies are doing ok


----------



## Chriskirsty

Catf great news on your scan  over the moon for you, I do hope that pesky fibroid doesn't cause to much hassle for you., it sounds like you have one strong little bubba in there amazing news and very inspirational to show dreams do and can happen on this  journey  xxxxx


----------



## June2015

Hello All, 

Sadly no MrsChef, have one more cycle of EC before FET. I went for a scan yesterday as my AF still hasn't made an appearance at day 43.  The consultant said I've had an anovulation cycle, basically I haven't ovulated and so my progesterone levels hasn't done what it's meant to and my body doesn't know to have a period as such.  So the Dr said wait a few more days and if still no period take norethiserone which should kick start a period.  Hopefully all the dead follicles will disappear and I can cycle, but if not I'll need to wait yet another month.  On the plus side my pesky cyst which caused a delay in the first place has gone.   

Basically I'm still in limboland.   although right now I'm at home hiding from any tick or treater's who knock on the door       

How's everyone else doing? 

Xxx


----------



## cinnamon75

Well Helloooooooooooooooo!!!!!

I have just come across this board and found I have missed so much as you ladies have all been hanging out here without me realising  I have a huge smile on my face as it's so special to see everyone is still keeping in touch even though we are all in such different places.

I am so sorry for going AWOL. As most of you know I had an early miscarriage too. I'm not sure what happened exactly, my guess is the embie stopped growing at about 6 weeks (my clear blue digi went for 1-2 weeks to 2-3 weeks in the right timescale) but my scan wasn't until 8 weeks and I had bad cramps and bleeding a few days before the scan which turned into a miscarriage (ouch!). Anyway, I had ups and downs for a month or so but life moved on and I found I spent a lot of my emotional strength fighting my ex-employer to get redundancy, unpaid wages and notice pay as they finally went into liquidation. It was good to have something else to focus my mind on to be honest.

Right I'm going to try a few personals but I might not manage everyone (I have a Christmas cake in the oven) so apologies in advance and I promise I will stick around and get on top of personals as the conversation moves on. You can't get rid of me now I've found you all 

*Stini, Catf, MrsLondon and Rumple* I'm rooting for you all and have been occasionally popping on to stalk you all and check how you are doing 

*MrsChef* I don't know where to start... my goodness woman how on earth do you stay so strong? You are inspirational. There's nothing I can say that the others haven't already said. It is your choice and whatever you choose will be the right thing for you I have no doubt in the world about that. I am insanely angry at the adoption service about the way they have treated you.

*June* I am SO sorry I never wrote back to your lovely PM. I have no excuse other than I just needed to distance myself for a while from FF. I came on a few times but felt no connection to it and I felt lost, like I didn't fit here somehow. I hope the Norethisterone gets things moving again so you can start cycling ASAP xxx

*Chriskirsty* What's your news with regards to cycling again? I bet you are almost bursting with excitement over the big move!!! A beautiful new family home  Good luck lovely lady xxx

*Katfish* I guess me and you will be alcohol free over Christmas!!! I'll be using the "I'm driving" excuse quite a lot I think 

*Melly* not long now then!!!! How blooming exciting!!!! Did the scratch hurt? I just hear the word and cringe 

*Chavalar* I can't believe how complicated and prolonged this all turned out for you  I know when I was told I had a "pregnancy of unknown location" my biggest worry was all the extra trauma and time that I could be facing to get back to a place where I could start again. It's just not fair and I wish I could make it better for you  You are obviously very strong and after fighting your way through this you will see the light at the end of the tunnel again.

*Little Small* How the devil are you and look what you started by coming back on here!!!   What's your plan for moving forward and how have you been coping? xxx

So I'm currently waiting on my AF to start my next cycle in Prague. AF not due until end of November and EC should be around 7th December give or take a few days. I have flights and hotel booked as me and mum are popping over to Prague on November 15th - 19th for me to see the clinic, have a CD21 scan, blood tests, ECG and to buy all the meds. Then I'll go back over for a week with DP in December of all goes to plan. I have to pass my CD21 scan first to check all is looking OK to proceed. It's early to cycle after the m/c but the clinic were happy I waited at least 2 cycles before trying again and I really want to squeeze a cycle in before I start work again in January.

Got to love you and leave you and go and check on my cake. It smells goooooooooood xxx


----------



## Katfish

June2015 sorry to hear that you seem to not have ovulated this time! I finally bleed day 41 of my cycle this month! I think my body does the same as I hadn't had them for years!!! Limbo land is awful hope your out if it soon! 

Cinnamon sorry to hear that you misscarried but glad that you are doing ok! Yeh I will be ok for times using the driving and diet excuse but the only tricky one for me will be new year at my parents! Good luck for your cycle in Prague! I hope that all goes well for you and you go into the new year with fantastic news!!

AFM - this AF finally arrived on day 41 of my cycle! This hopefully means that I will be able to still have a drink over the DH's work chrimbo party which is all paid for my them! Then will be alcohol free after that weekend! I am unable to use this bleed to start my next cycle due to the unit shutting over the Christmas days! So should start to cycle in December and having EC in January!  I will be happy when my next AF arrived and I'm no longer in Limboland!
Been having a few thoughts after the last few days! I think I will want 2 embies back in this cycle again! I also am struggling a little coming to the terms that if my AMH result is correct and my AF continues to be all over the show when we do eventually get our BFP then my time line to potentially have another child may be very short! Hence one of the reasons why I am thinking I would still have 2 replaced! 

I hope that everyone is doing well!


----------



## mrschef04

Hi Ladies,

*June2015* - I hope your AF comes soon. That must be difficult to just not know when it comes, but I'm glad you're keeping on going and being so positive. I'm just so glad you've got your two embies on ice and hopefully you'll get started soon! We didn't have one trick or treater this Halloween! Lol! Let us know how you get on!

*Rumplestiltskin* - thank you for your kind words. Insurance against my future sanity is exactly how I see it. Then I know I've tried everything. I can't complain about anything. I know the NHS messed up with stuff a few times, but I know there's no point in complaining and just to keep on moving forward. It's true, really. There are all of these things that you can try and do to make your cycle better, but I definitely think I'm going to remain as relaxed as possible, continue with my exercise, eat well and not focus too much on the cycle or what I have to do this time around. I think that's the best thing I can do. 

*Melly2015* - how are things going? You have 11 days left until the transfer! Wow, how time can fly! Definitely won't be doing any bungee jumping, but I think the best thing is for me to keep my mind occupied on other things. I might even take a course during that time, so I can work on something.

*Chriskirsty* - that's great with the new house. Take some time to relax and save. I think you definitely have time and then see where you're at. Thank you always for keeping in touch. I had the same feelings as you with feeling bad about things and at the end of my last cycle, it was almost unbearable to come on here. But now, it's funny. There is a lady I work with that is now 4 months pregnant and I see two women in my building all the time with their babies, but I'm now just happy for all of them and I've made peace with myself and whatever my path is for having a baby.

*Catf *- that's wonderful with your scan! The fibroid shouldn't be too much an issue, as I've had them and they seem to come and go a lot.

*Cinnamon* - Oooh! Prague as well! There are some nice restaurants there to go to! I'm glad you're squeezing it in before the new job. I think it allows you to relax a bit more and go on long walks and then enter a new chapter in your life. Big hugs for your next cycle!
Katfish - If I have the option, I would definitely go for two embryos as well. I'm not going on scientific evidence, but it seems like everyone that has two embryos back seems to at least get pregnant with one. Like you, I'll be on very limited time and it seems to always give the best chance.

*AFM *- I just wanted to thank you again for being so supportive and amazing. It has been a rollercoaster. The only way I've remained so strong is I've been around a long time and, as my husband said, I've had a lot more sadness than happiness in my life, but I've seen a lot of people get so down and so angry and their grieving periods last for years. For me, I see that as wasting time, so I think I've picked myself up and dusted myself off since I was four years old and kept on going. My husband and I had a little bit of a talk and we decided to go through with the IVF anyway. I got my call yesterday from the clinician saying that the doctors discussed my case thoroughly and think that I'm a bit unusual and also that I have a good chance of it. So I'm now just waiting for a call/e-mail from the nurses to schedule me in. I know I'm having fun with life, but at the same time, it would be good to do this cycle and get my head clear either way. The best bit is that I'm going into this cycle knowing what to expect and also that, after a failed cycle, I don't have expectations either way and, whatever the outcome, I know I'll be happy with my life.

A hello out there to everyone else that's out there and I'm always wishing you all the best!!


----------



## Stini

Hello ladies! Sorry, I've been AWOL also: I was on holiday for a week, then in Canada for work, and before that lots of gigantic work things were happening while I was very low energy: haven't been diong much beyond exactly what is required of me by others for the past month, at least.  Everything fine here: scans all positive. So blimming great to come back and find you all in good places, too.  

MrsChef, I am so very, very pleased that you had that decision, that you've made that decision, and you're hearing positive feedback from the clinic. This is excellent news. Made my morning. Please tell me you've got something lovely and relaxing planned for the next couple of months? What a horrendous rollercoaster they've put you on. I still owe you a postal surprise, too.  xxxxx

Cinnamon, delighted to hear you're off to Prague. What a great place to be for something like that! I'm imagining lots of bundled up wintery walking about with your fella between appointments.    (I could do this much more romantically with my regular emoji keyboard...)

Kirsty, congratulations on the new house - will you be in before Christmas and have time to enjoy it before January? So glad to hear you're feeling a bit calmer, too. 

Melly: that's come around so quickly! Good luck with the FET. 

Catf, ace news. How are you feeling now? I've just started to let myself relax. 

Katfish, so glad things are moving for you too. 

June, sorry you're in limboland, but at least they have options. I was never sure how Notheristertone worked (or how to spell it, for that matter!) but it does seem to be a mysterious wonder drug that makes the body do exactly what it's told, so I'm sure it will all come together. 

Oh, it's so good to hear from you all. Lots and lots and lots of love. xxxx


----------



## Little Small

Wooot wooooooot!! 

Hi ladies   .....wow....you're all so amazing. Incredible stories.  Rumple, Catf and Stini I'm so jealous but so completely over several moons for you....can't wait for us all to meet your little tiny wiglets...you'd better believe that we want photos so prepare yourselves!!!  

Chriskirsty - you're simply fabulous and I'm tap tap tapping a special dance just for you  

Cinny you gorgeous wonderful lady  ....give my love to Prague please. My dh arranged a surprise 4 day secret trip to Prague at the beginning of Dec for my 40th birthday...had to tell me AND cancel as my scans are now booked for same weekend....grrrrrr...typical!! But not to worry....we can go another time. Oh oh oh for those Christmas markets though. Baubles a-hoy. (LOVE a bauble )

Hey KittyKat !!  looks like we're cycling a few wks apart ... Started my injections 3 days ago.....pregnancy test (on paper) will be boxing day! Crikey. Good luck my friend  

Juney my thoughts are with you lovely lady 

Am off to arrange our pants and socks in the airing cupboard.  This will take hours and there's absolutely no way I will have time to prepare for my meeting tomorrow. Yes I know but it makes sense now ......   ...nothing like a bit of work avoidance until Homeland!! 

Much love to all ... Stay strong xxxxxxxx


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## cinnamon75

*little small* I'll be in Prague for a week at the beginning of December with DP for our next treatment. What a shame you had to cancel  We could've met up!!!! EC if all goes to plan, will be about the 3rd Dec and we will stay for about a week. Happy 40th Birthday!!!

How are the injections going? I started injecting again yesterday and have my first scan on Thursday... here we go again!  xxx


----------



## Catf2008

Fingers crossed for you cinnamon x


----------



## Little Small

Hi Cinny     

I know!!! We could have....such a shame..but....you'll have a wonderful time and all will be well. I just know it  .  

How was Thursday...all good?

I start my gonal f tonight....ec's week after next. How are you coping with the buserelin...I get hellish headaches and a bit tired but otherwise no more vague than the norm (apparently  ) bit rude.

Hope all's going well...and love to everyone hiding out xxxx


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## Catf2008

Cinnamon - how's it all going?

Little Small - good luck with this round, I have everything crossed for you


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## June2015

Hello you wonderful bunch     

Cinny, how are things going? 

LittleS, how's injecting again? Don't you just love it? 

Kirsty, how's the move? All settled? 

Catf/ Stini, how you both feeling? 

Katfish/ MrsChef, any dates for you gorgeous ladies to get going again? 

AFM, well, I've finished my three cycles and had a grand total of three eggs, which all fertilised and turned into little embies.    Yesterday I had one fresh embryo and one frozen popped back in (day two, 4 cell) apparently this clinic likes to get them back asap!  So now's the horrible wait.  I'm going to remain positive (as much as possible anyway).  We have one little embryo still in the freezer, but I hope we don't have to say hello to it for quite sometime. Anyway, enough of me rabbiting on, I'll be in touch to let you know how it all goes....

So, take care ladies, sorry to anyone I've not done a personal shout out too, love you all


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## Catf2008

June - I'm doing ok, just waiting till the next scan now bad glad the morning sickness has finally gone .  Day 2 transfer is good, that's what I had on my last cycle


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## cinnamon75

Hellooooooooo ladies!!! It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside seeing this thread still moving! Huge hugs to everyone, whatever stage they are at.

*Catf* yay to the morning sickness having gone!!! It's all so blooming exciting! I can't believe how quickly time is going... You'll be popping that beautiful little bubba out before you know it  

*June* I had a 2 day transfer too and although in my case it didn't last, I still got that BFP so I have a good feeling for you lovely lady  

*Littlesmall* How's the Gonal F going I'm sorry to hear the Buserelin gives you and headaches, I haven't got it this time. I had Gonal F from CD2 which changed to a combination of half Gonal F and half Menopur on about CD 6 and then I had to start Cetrotide (which stops ovulation a bit like Buserelin) on CD7. That Menopur stings a lot and the Cetrotide leaves an itchy red swollen patch (yuk).

I had my 2nd scan today so just waiting for news now as to what happens next, whether the cycle will continue and whether I need to book flights yet or not! Flying by the seat of my big granny pants!!!!


----------



## Katfish

Catf2008 glad things are still looking good for you and the morning sickness and cleared up!

June2015 congrats on becoming PUPO!! Fingers crossed that all goes well for you! When do you have to test? My AF cycles have been 38 and 40 days since I had my BFN I'm on day 33 now so just waiting for it to come and then I can book in! The last one was when they where not taking on patients due to Christmas! Thought it was happening early 10days ago but nothing came from it! Guess it was a bit of breakthrough! 

Cinnamon good luck hope news was all good from your scan!

AFM Just waiting to come out of Limboland and feeling down for being in it for so long!


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## June2015

Morning  

Just a quick from me today,

Katfish, it's next Thursday and I'm so nervous. I guess everyone is right?  I hope you get your AF soon and can book in.  

Catf, glad the sickness has stopped for you.

Thanks everyone for the thumbs up to 2dt and best wishes. 

Hope you're all good and speak soon xxxx


----------



## Katfish

Yes you will be counting down the days and it will feel like it's taking forever to get there but when the test day comes you dread it because it takes you out of the bubble and into reality! I really hope it's a BFP for you! Will be thinking of you on Thursday! X x


----------



## cinnamon75

*June* how did test day go lovely lady

I'm PUPO again ladies and feeling very underwhelmed about it all. I don't know what's wrong with me! I had a rocky cycle this time, lots went wrong (ran out of meds, only got 1 mature egg out of 4, poor sperm sample  ) and although it was amazing news that the one mature egg fertilised and was put back in a morula on Day 3, I just feel so detached from the whole cycle. I really have to pick my positivity levels up so I don't wish a BFN upon myself!!

How's everyone else doing?

*Littlesmall* Have you had EC and ET yet xxxx


----------



## June2015

Cinnamon, congratulations young lady.  Don't worry about being underwhelmed, I think it's a good way to manage your feelings.  Sorry to hear so much of the cycle was a pickle. Good luck hun, keep us posted.  When's your otd?

Thanks for asking about me, but sadly the test was negative. A very sad day yesterday after 6 months of trying to get eggs etc to result in nothing, but that's the IVF gamble I guess.  We've got a follow up meeting next week and will make further plans from there.  

Hi everyone else, lots of love to you xxx


----------



## mrschef04

Hello everyone,

June2015, I'm really sorry about the negative test.  Hopefully the follow up meeting will provide answers and support.

Catf, glad things are going well for you.

Cinnamon - congrats on being PUPO again!  Fingers crossed for positive answers!

AFM - My marriage didn't do well during the first round of IVF.  In fact, my marriage almost felt disintegrated as the high dose of drugs I was on made me so depressed.  I think I was suicidal every day.  After a long talk, my husband and I cancelled our second and final funded round of IVF with the NHS.  It wasn't working for me anyway.  I didn't respond at all.  The major reasons for this: 1. My marriage is important to me and I felt that it would fail just to have a child.  I don't want that to happen.  2. The drugs didn't agree with me whatsoever.  It was probably one of the worst experiences of my life, going through the IVF.  3.  My husband has a son from a previous relationship and whilst his son is raised by a narcissistic, awful woman (the entire family on my husband's side absolutely hates her), and he is a bit spoiled and has behaviour problems (his school wants to put him in a special school), I should have loving feelings towards a child after three years of seeing him once or twice a month (20-50 hours a month) and I don't.  Maybe that means that I shouldn't have children?  Maybe I'm not really that maternal at all?  I mean, if I don't necessarily like other people's children, will I like my own?  While others are excited to go for another round of IVF, I literally get freaked out, scared and upset that I would have to do that.  The amount of steroids and the heavy down regulating was too much for me.  I'm normally quite a strong person when it comes to pain, but not that.

Anyway, I guess that's life.  I've shut the door on that and shut the door on a lot of things at the end of this year and I feel like it's time to move on.  So, I'm writing two books now, training a bit more in my dance for competition next year and looking at doing my postgrad in music composition for film.  I've had a tough life since I was four years old and this sadness doesn't surprise me one bit.  I've never expected much from life or other people, as I think there is a balance where there are many people that have it all and those like me that never really will.  I think that's why I've taken up smoking again because I've had so many disappointments that the idea of having to live past the age of 70 years old seems too much to bear.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble, but I always feel I could be honest with all of you.  Big big hugs to everyone out there xxx


----------



## cinnamon75

Firstly *June* I am so so sorry to hear after all the time and effort you put in that it didn't work out this time. Do you have any frozen embies left by any chance? Have you considered doing another round following the same approach or are you considering donor egg or embryo? I know I am, if this fails again. I am just sending you the biggest of hugs and tons of good luck for 2016 as you have been so incredibly strong and patient during all of this. 

*MrsChef* it is fab to hear from you, ok, so the news you have is bittersweet, but it's still so good to hear from you. I think your message shows how far you have come to processing this whole thing and how there are so many feelings surrounding it and caught up in it. That can only be a good thing and shows how much stronger you must be getting. You are being honest with yourself and your hubby and hopefully things are getting better between the two of you now that the pressure of having a child is leaving you both. I think from what you have said the decision to stop the NHS cycle is the right one for you both. IVF was no less than another trauma for you, I know you've been through a lot of trauma before because of your childhood. You have grown and developed into such a wonderful and special person, please don't beat yourself up about having no loving feelings towards your stepson... perhaps his childhood is somehow bringing up feelings from yours. it doesn't really matter, but you are definitely a loving person and have the ability to love children... We don't all love all kids, some of them are brats and hard to love! 

I remember you saying about your dreams of travelling and writing, it was always something that stuck with me how beautiful and clear your dreams were and I always believed you'd follow them. It is wonderful to hear that you are writing, dancing and learning. They are all such positive things for increasing your wellbeing. I have no doubt that 2016 is going to be a LOT better than these last few years and you will find happiness in following your dreams. Big big big hugs to you, you wonderful, supportive, loving, strong woman xxx


----------



## cinnamon75

*Catf, Stini, MrsLondon, Rumple* how are all you mummies to be doing? xxx


----------



## Little Small

Hi all 

June, Mrschef ... Such very very strong ladies......very much love to you both.  I just hope the future comes quickly for you and holds positivity, health and happiness .... Regardless of the decisions you make  

Cinny, I have everything EVERYTHING crossed for you my friend    

I had ec yesterday and have been sitting in a puddle of progesterone ever since bleugh!!  I think there's only three orifices (orifi??) left that haven't yet been subjected to some sort of ....'stuff'. Erlack.  7 of our 9 collected have fertilised with transfer either Monday or Wednesday (my 40th!!??). I feel a bit.....numb this time around. I think I'm trying to protect myself. Feel strange. Is that a good thing or bad.  I have no idea.

Either way, must dash. Cat has 'delivered' a small hairball parcel in the bedroom.  (Need to go and hide in the bathroom until DP has started to clear it up 😎)

Love to all  xxxx


----------



## cinnamon75

*Littlesmall* well done on laying so many eggs!!! Bloody brilliant woman!! How amazing to have them transferred on your birthday 

I too hate the puddle of progesterone. I have Utrogestan this time which has to go up the front bottom and are tiny little round pellets that like to try to roll back out again. I never thought I'd be missing the Cyclogest up the back passage but it was so much easier and less messy!!!


----------



## MrsLondon

Hello lovely ladies,

I'm sorry I've been absent from this thread, I've been so busy with work that I just haven't had time for anything else. By the time I get home in the evening and cook/eat dinner I have an hour before I go to bed. I didn't end up joining the pregnancy buddy thread either. It's been a hectic few months. I've checked in once or twice to see what's been going on but today managed to have some time to to actually post. 
Cinnamon congrats on being pupo!!! I was thinking about you today actually which prompted me to check this thread. I can understand why you feel underwhelmed, I really hope that this is your time!!   .
June I'm so sorry it was a BFN for you, especially after the banking you've been doing. Hopefully the follow up appointment will give you some answers.
MrsChef you're such a strong and inspirational woman. It must have been so difficult going through all the options but you sound secure in your decision and I wish you the best of luck.
Little Small, good luck for your transfer!! If it wasn't yesterday then it's tomorrow??   . I'm keeping everything crossed for you. 
Kirsty are you in your new home now?? Hope you have a magical 1st Christmas there.
Hi to everyone else, hope life is treating you well. I have my 20 week scan on Friday, can't believe I'm almost half way there. There are days that I still can't believe it, I'm so thankful and won't go on as I don't want to be insensitive to those of you out there who are still having to go through this painful journey. 
Hope you all have a lovely Christmas when it comes.
Lots of love,
Mrs London.  Xxx


----------



## Catf2008

Mrslondon- good luck for the 20 week scan

Little small - great amount of eggs, my fingers are crossed for you 

Cinnamon - yay for being pupo when is test day

How is everyone else?

Afm - well we had our 20 week scan today and everything is good, no issues with baby at all, we have the gender written down in an envelope and will be finding out on Christmas Eve with my family


----------



## Little Small

Morning all   

Sooooo.....we had one 5BB put back on Wednesday   I hope, hope, hope this is it. Got to test on boxing day. How on earth will I wait through Christmas day ?  

I'm now 40. Just. Urrrrrrrrrrgh  

Cinny, how are you doing...feeling a bit more positive?? Sending hugs  

Catf, how lovely to read such happy happy exciting news......How amazing.   xxxxxx

Much love to all xxxxxx have a happy day


----------



## Catf2008

Fingers crossed Little Small, i have to say last year my test day was supposed to Boxing Day but I caved and tested Christmas Day, I have everything crossed for you xx


----------



## cinnamon75

Hi ladies!

*Littlesmall* amazing news congratulations on your beautiful blast! Sorry I forgot to wish you a huge Happy 40th Birthday  on Wednesday, but what a perfect Birthday present you were given! I have everything crossed for you lovely xxxx

*Catf* that's such a cute idea to open the envelope on Christmas Eve with all your family! What a special moment that will be for everyone! You must be so relieved the pregnancy is going so smoothly now 

*MrsLondon* Sooooo good to hear from you and hear that all is well. Please don't think you are being insensitive telling us about being happy and excited... I personally think it's good to hear and see cycle buddies succeeding. I am so happy for you  I hope the 20 week scan went well. Do you know the sex?

AFM, still plodding along with my 2ww, did a sneaky test a few days ago and it was negative but it's helped me relax and I don't feel too disappointed as I really didn't expect this cycle to go well after all the ups and downs. It's nice to have Christmas to distract me, but OTD is officially Monday.

Merry Christmas to everyone and I wish the best of luck, health and happiness to everyone for 2016 xxxx


----------



## Little Small

Thinking of you Cinny.... xxxxxxxx good luck, I hope you have a wonderful unexpected surprise


----------



## cinnamon75

Ahhh thanks little small, unfortunately my BFN was confirmed this morning. I am surprisingly ok about it all and looking forward to trying again in 2016  

I just hope that your result on Boxing Day makes up for my bad luck   

How are you feeling?


----------



## Little Small

I'm amazed and blown away by your strength and positively Cinny....just amazed. I'm glad you're feeling 'ok'.     Hopefully you'll have a lovely Christmas....with bubbles!!!!!!

I'm a bit.....odd really. Keep forgetting. Is that a good thing? I have no symptoms other than keep bursting into tears!!!!! Weird. 

Much love and smiles to you, you wonderful lady   xxx


----------



## Katfish

LittleSmall that will be hard to wait but best of luck for your test date and congrats on becoming PUPO! 

Catf I'm glad all is going well for you! I agree that is a lovely idea for Christmas Eve finding out the Sex with all your family! Must be hard not peaking in the envelope! 

Cinnamon really sorry to hear that you have had a BFN hopefully your next cycle in 2016 will be third time lucky!!! 

AFM I'm currently on day 53 of my cycle with still no bleed! I went to the dr's on day 40 (after discussing the spotting on days 23, 24, 36, 37 and 38 but no actual bleed they suggested to get tests done at the GP's) and they did some swabs which came back normal! She also did an examination which looked fine and a pregnancy test which obviously came back as negative! After this I've tried and tried to speak to the dr at the clinic I have previously seen but not gotten anywhere with that! I however now have an appointment for a scan on the 5th Jan to look if there is any cysts or anything wrong and maybe to put me on some medication to start a bleed! I'm feeling very rubbish about the whole thing as it's something that my body should be doing! And I've not got any answers about it all! 

Anyway I wish everyone a very merry Christmas and a new year filled with babies and BFP's!!!!! I'm spending my Christmas at work celebrating the babies on the units first Christmas!


----------



## Catf2008

Just wanted to wish all you lovely ladies a very merry Christmas, thank you for all your support this year and hope that you all get some wonderful gifts tomorrow.

Just a quick update that we are on Team Pink


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## Katfish

So pleased for you!  congrats!!! X x


----------



## MrsLondon

Merry Christmas ladies,

Cinnamon I'm so sorry to hear your BFN news, was really routing for you. But I'm glad that you're feeling ok about everything.

Little small, good luck for tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you.

Katfish  sorry to hear about your extra long cycle. Hope you get some answers at your next appointment.

Catf -     Whoohoo so pleased for you.

Afm 20week scan went well although I forgot my notes so got a telling off. Thank you for wishing me well wishes. We are also team pink!!!  
Hope you're all having lovely days and I wish nothing but happiness for you all in the upcoming year xxx


----------



## Little Small

Merry Christmas to you all.....fabulous ladies. I hope you are all having very happy and peaceful times    

Huge congratulations to Catf and you too MrsLondon     WOOT WOOT for the pinkies   xxxx

We have our beeeffpee.......and are thrilled and terrified in equal measure       

Much love xxxx (how are you doing Cinny??)


----------



## Katfish

Huge congratulations on your BFP really hope that all works out for you this time!

Lots of Christmas wishes to everyone!


----------



## June2015

Congratulations littlesmall xxx


----------



## Catf2008

Congratulations little small


----------



## cinnamon75

Hello everyone!

*littlesmall* I am soooooo pleased for you lovely lady, this IS your time and I will be cheering you on the whole way!    I'm doing absolutely fine thanks for asking, really enjoyed my Christmas break and feeling eager to start again in the 2016!!! I want to follow in you footsteps in the New Year  xxx

*MrsLondon and Catf* ahhhh little pink ones for you both, that is great news.   

*Katfish* wow, day 53 (or 55 now!) how blooming frustrating!! I'm glad you have a scan soon jyst to check everything out and maybe get some answers. I have everything crossed that you've just kind of skipped one month and will get AF again soon 

Big hugs to everyone... *June, Katfish, Mrs Chef* and all the original cyclers! xxxx


----------



## MrsLondon

Yeah Littlesmall!!!!             You had a Christmas miracle. I really hope all goes to plan and that in 9months time you are blessed with a healthy baby. 

Xxx


----------



## Little Small

You're all so fabulous I could cry (or is that because the in-laws are here     )  ... Thank you all for being so kind. It means so much to read your words. 

I hope things hurry up for you kitty kat and thank you... How frustrating for you.  Stupid Aunt Flo  .  When we don't want her she turns up and when we do she's nowhere to be seen   

Cinny....I know you will be right behind me as soon as you can next year....2016 must be our time     

MrsL.....I so hope you're right.  Thank you  

Sleep well  .... I'm not tired yet but am hiding in my bed   xxxxxxx


----------



## Katfish

Cinnamon and Little Small I know tell me about it! I did a sneaky test knowing it would be negative but obviously these things go around our minds any ways! Still hurts to see it though even if it would be impossible to get a positive result! 

Yes still no sign currently I am now on day 61!!! Yes hopefully just missed one out but we will see what they say! I'll let you know on Tuesday!! 

Anyway! Wishing everyone a very happy new year with lots of little foot steps coming everyone's way too! 

X X X x


----------



## Little Small

Happy New year all....much love and oodles of luck xxx


----------



## cinnamon75

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! I still miss all my July/August buddies, it was such a great board 

*Little Small* I'm going to grab your oodles of luck with both hands and wrap myself up in it  I wish you the same lovely lady, I hope you have a happy, healthy and uneventful 9 months!

*Katfish* any sign of af yet? I know what you mean about seeing the negative even though you know already. I had to have a blood test to confirm my BFN after Christmas and it was horrible to spend £50 on getting it done when I knew it was pointless. My clinic abroad like to have the evidence before moving on.

*MrsLondon*    so pleased for you lovely lady. I do sneak on and stalk you occasionally to check you are doing ok  Naughty girl for getting a telling off at your scan!! 

*Catf* Team pink for you tooooooo!!!!!  

*June* how are you doing my lovely? Have you had any thoughts about moving forward with your next cycle?

Anyway, I just wanted to pop on and say hi. We are looking at going for a donor egg cycle next... I just want to give us the best chance possible and I have no big worries about using donor eggs. A little disappointed for my parents if anything, but they would love any grandchild I know that because I've watched them all year with my adopted nephew. DP wants to keep trying with his own sperm for one more go which I am happy to do as we would both like this, but the agreement is that he will go on a three month 'sperm making boot camp' before the treatment as his samples are really not good and if I'm honest, would prevent us from having a child naturally even if my eggs were fit and healthy. It'll be interesting to see what they say at my follow up consultation, I just hope they let us use his sperm. I'm going to take * Stini's * advice and get the Fertilmate cooling patches as well as the Snowball pants which DP already has, because I swear his body temperature is a major cause of his poor sperm samples. I'm not sure about investing in supplements as we've done that every time and it's not had any huge impact so far. Anyone know anyone who's used Proxeed?

Hugs to all xxx


----------



## Katfish

Hi cinnamon!

Still no sign I keep thinking it's coming due to cramping but still no sign and wonder if the cramping is all in my mind! We are day 65 today!!!!! Will be day 67 when I have my scan! Really I can't believe that they still had to have a blood test to confirm you would think a pregnancy test would be enough! But I can kind of understand why as being in a different country! I'm glad that you have a plan in place for your next cycle! I know you say it's a shame for the grandparents but the reality is blood or not he or she will still be their grandchild blood or not if that makes sense! Anyway I really hope that all goes well and that your DP can use his sperm! X X X X


----------



## NotleyAbbey

Hello ladies!  

I hope that all had a fab Christmas and New Year! I have finally managed to find this thread again after many times of trying to. I had completely forgotten my login details, requested them again and again with no luck and have somehow by chance managed to stumble across the tread. 

I have tried my best to try and catch up on how everyone is getting on. I hope that you are all well. Please accept my apologies for not doing any personals, but I seem to have missed out on quite a lot of the conversations. 

I just wanted to say hi and I am back!


----------



## Katfish

Hi NotleyAbbey, how have things been going for you? X x


----------



## Little Small

Hi Notley   How's it going??   xx


----------



## NotleyAbbey

Hey Littlesmall and Katfish

Well I'll be 24 weeks on Friday and baby is doing really well. We decided that we wanted to have a surprise as to what we are having. i'm well. I just keep reminding myself that I'm incredibly blessed to be in the position I am in. 

It's quite crazy my end as between our friends there are (so far) 13 other babies going to be born this year within 4 months of each other. That total does include 2 sets of twins. Still crazy though. Must the the year of the baby lol

How's things going with you both? 

I had an extremely quick skim through missed messages yesterday, but to be honest I got a little lost 😳


----------



## Katfish

Hi NotleyAbbey,

Glad things are all going well for you still! Shame about the on going morning sickness though! A surprise is lovely and I know I'll be doing the same when I'm in your position! I love the idea of doing what my parents had to they had to investigate if my sister was a boy or a girl themselves! Things here are a bit hard at the moment I'm going for a scan later on today to investigate why I have had a proper bleed for 66days! Hoping to get an answer and be able to book in the next few weeks as if no other issues they will give me some tablets which will make me bleed! 

X x


----------



## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

Katfish sorry to hear that you still haven't had AF, so bloody annoying. At least it won't be long before they give you pills to make you bleed.

NotleyAbbey glad to hear all is well with you. I'll be 23 weeks on Friday. I too feel completely blessed to be in this situation. We found out, we're having a girl  I'm too impatient and also we had major boys naming issues. Sorry to hear you're still getting morning sickness. I didn't have any!! I was symptom free, which really made me worry.

Cinnamon - hi!!!! Thanks for your words. I know i was lucky that they saw me, the nurse said they might not. I think you've got a really good plan in place. Have you tried taking vitamins for your eggs though? I was told my eggs wouldn't be very good, I only collected four from EC, but all four fertilised and made it to day 5. I took DHEA which I ordered from the states for 4 months I think and another one too which I could look up if you're interested?? Sperm plan sounds good too. Best to get dp to cut out alcohol and caffeine too I think.

Happy new year to everyone else, hope you're all well. I'm keeping this breif as I'm in school with students so better pay them some attention.

Love and baby dust to you all.

Xx


----------



## Katfish

Here's an update after my scan today!

I barely slept last night as I was worried and it felt like a lifetime to get to 3pm!
I went in for the scan I had to smile when I saw the fluorescent green glove that the lady wore felt like it was a green room and her hand was going to be made to look like a gorillas hand or something! The lady was very quite while scanning which paranoid me even more just said that the lining was thicker than they would like but that was all that was said! Then she moved onto the ovaries I could see her counting but that was it, managed to find out that the first ovary was ok she moved onto the next again counting in her head but not saying anything until she finished and she told me she would find a dr! I was terrified about what was going to be said literally shaking!

They couldn't get a dr but instead I saw a nurse who I knew before commencing treatment. Turns out one ovary has 20+ follicles and the other has 30+ on it!!!!!! I was in shock this was the last thing that I was expecting to hear! They are going to give me some tablets to start a bleed, I will call to book in on the first day of my bleed and then between day 2-5 I have to get my bloods repeated including my FSH this is so that they can get the results ASAP and review my cycle due to my follicular count now! I joke that the reason I haven't bleed is because it wanted to show the unit what it's actually capable of! They think it's just no bleed because my body doesn't know what it's doing as I haven't had a proper period cycle for so many years due to the implant and pill back to back! 

So basically I'm feeling very relieved! Can't wait until I get the prescription and can book in hopefully in the next two weeks!!!


----------



## MrsLondon

Oh Katfish that's good news!! Good luck and keep us posted.


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

Hello Ladies! 

I thought I'd look up this thread, and see how everyone's doing. So pleased to see you all still here!  

I've looked back a few pages to catch up, so here goes, apologies if I miss anyone!

LittleSmall - Biggest congratulations EVER!!! So absolutely thrilled for you that you've finally got your BFP!!! You've been a little ray of happiness and positivity on this thread, even when things went badly for you, so I'm so pleased that some of the positivity has found its way back to you!  

Katfish, wow, 50+ follicles!!! Hope they sort everything out for you for another cycle - good luck!

Cinnamon - really hope the donor egg cycle works out for you, and that it doesn't take too long to find you a donor   My DH has been on Proxeed for a year now, but so far nobody's looked at his swimmers again to see if it's helped. We're trying to sort out an appointment with Mr R at the moment to decide what to do - do another SSR on DH, since he's been on proxeed and tamoxifen for a year, and bank those swimmers for future cycles, or stop treating him for the moment, and then start again when we want to do another cycle so we can use the recovered sperm when it's fresh....decisions decisions! So sorry for your BFN. 

Notley Abbey - glad things are going smoothly, although sorry that MS is still a problem. You're very restrained, sticking to Team Cream! 

MrsLondon - a little girl, how lovely! 

MrsChef - it sounds like you're making the best decision for you - you've had such an incredibly difficult time of it, even within the parameters of how awful IVF is normally. I don't think you should worry that not bonding with your stepson means that you'd not be a good mum - my mum couldn't stand other people's children, but absolutely adored us! And each child is an individual - I have 2 nephews, and one I completely dote on, the other I really struggle with. I think, should you ever decide to go down this route again, you'd be an amazing mum. However, I think your reasons for stopping are very sensible - sometimes you have to just look at what you're risking, and decide if you're willing to take that risk. Putting your marriage, mental and physical health, and life aspirations like travelling and writing ahead of going through another cycle is valid choice, and, imho, one your future self with thank you for. I'm just so sorry that life has dealt you yet another difficult hand in all this. I hope the future you're planning holds some happier times for you.  

Sorry for anyone I've missed - there was quite a lot to catch up on! 

AFM, I'm doing really well, expecting a little boy, and just past 24 weeks, which feels like a massive milestone. I'm still a little bit freaked out when I catch sight of myself in the mirror with a bump - I really never thought this would ever happen for me. I'll admit, I'm a teensy bit jealous of MrsLondon and Catf with their little girls - for no reason in particular, my DH and I always imagined ourselves with a little girl, but I've been pretty certain right from the start that ours was a boy, and now I know for certain, it feels like he couldn't really have been anything else. We announced it to our family via my mum's birthday cake, which was iced in pink and blue outside, but the cake inside was blue  . A photo of this cake was also our official announcement to the world, and the first time we've mentioned our infertility on social media. I'm really glad we did, though, as we had a couple of messages afterwards from other people struggling with IVF.  

For those of you who are still seeking their BFP, there's been a recent study that looked at all the IVF/ICSI cycles in the UK, and looked at whether your chances of having a baby improved the more cycles that you have, and they found that they did - by the time you've had 6 cycles, apparently the cumulative chance of a live birth is 65% (it plateaus after 6 cycles). I'm not suggesting everyone must keep going until 6+ cycles, but as we started our 3rd cycle, I can remember being concerned that every failed cycle just confirmed that we'd never get our BFP, so I found this research really reassuring, and I hope you will, too. 

Happy New Year, Everybody!


----------



## Melly2015

Hi July/ August Ladies! 

I have been keeping up with your updates on this post- have been going through a bit of a rollercoaster myself- so haven’t got around to posting- but more on that later...

Rumplestiltskin- that’s amazing that you’re expecting a little boy- it must make it feel so real now that you have a bump. I’m so glad that it’s going well for you  

mrsLondon- congratulations on your pink bundle. Again- I’m so glad that all is progressing so well for you  

Katfish- I’m glad your scan has reassured you after not having AF for such an epic amount of time. That number of follicles is brilliant- hopefully you’ll get some great results when you start treatment again. Hope your bleed starts soon for you, so you can get moving on  

Notley Abbey- well done on your restraint on not finding out. If I was in that situation, I’ve no idea whether I would been too tempted and have to find out. It’s going to be such a brilliant surprise when you do get to meet him/ her. Sorry you’re still having morning sickness, am glad everything is going well for you so far  

Little Small- so many congratulations on your BFP, that is such a nice Christmas present to get. Fingers crossed that everything goes well for you and you have a healthy 9 months ahead of you  

Cinnamon- sorry to hear about your BFN, but sounds like you have a good plan in place for 2016. Hopefully your 3 month boot camp will do what it needs to for your DP’s sperm and it will all work out for you  

Catf- that’s so lovely that you found out which team you were on during Christmas eve- what a nice highlight for the day for you. Am glad that everything is going well for you so far with your pregnancy  

June- am sorry about your BFN. I hope your follow up went ok, and you’re ok with whatever your plan is going forwards  

Mrschef- it’s really good to hear from you on this. It does sound like you have a few really interesting plans in the pipeline- even if they aren’t treatment- related. I wouldn’t worry about the not liking other people’s children- a lot of people I know that have their own children get frustrated and annoyed with other people’s children, so I don’t think that means you love your own any less. IVF is such a tough horrible process, and the drugs are going to affect everyone differently. I hope that you are at peace with your decision- as you definitely deserve to be getting the most out of life as you’re such a strong inspirational person.   

Hi to anyone else that I might have missed- am really sorry if I’ve forgotten anybody  

AFM- after my BFN back in August, I got back on my feet again, and did a FET a couple of months later as I had 5 frosties from my fresh cycle. Unfortunately 2 of them didn’t survive defrosting, and then the next 2 which did defrost ok were transferred. I was over the moon to get my bfp at the end of November. At my clinic you repeat your test a week after getting your bfp. I did that and it was still positive. I had pregnancy symptoms including feeling a bit sick, sore boobs etc, these started to fade a little a few days before my scan. A lot of people reassured me that this can happen and symptoms come and go. But unfortunately I had my scan at 7 weeks (18th Dec) and there was nothing there. The clinic did a pregnancy test then which was negative. So appears to have been a chemical pregnancy. I’m still feeling a bit broken after all this which wasn’t helped by my sister being 12 weeks pregnant when I went home for Christmas. I’m still not ready to even make a decision on when I’ll do another round. I can’t face the idea of all the drugs and treatment at the moment- so think we’ll wait a few months to decide what next. Although I have one frostie remaining, I don’t get any of my treatment funded by the NHS so I don’t want to pay money and find that it doesn’t defrost- so it might need to be another fresh cycle next before I get even older. I don’t know. So all been a bit crazy recently for me- but once again, I’m sure I will manage to pick myself up and do what needs doing next. 

Is so good to come back here and see how you are all getting on xxx


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

Oh, Melly, I'm so sorry for your chemical, you must be devastated. And with your sister pregnant, too - just the worst timing  

I think a break sounds like a good idea. If you can go on holiday, I'd recommend it - I always found it a great way to centre yourself again, and also reconnect with your partner. On the FET/fresh cycle, FWIW, I'd go fresh for the next one. Your frostie isn't getting any older, while you are. My SIL had a similar experience last year - she had 4 frosties, used up 3 during a single FET as 2 failed to thaw, and got a BFN. She then did a fresh cycle that wasn't looking great - only 2 fertilised eggs out of the whole bunch, and a 2 day transfer, and she's now 11 weeks pregnant with twins. If you can face another fresh cycle, that's the way I'd go in your position (I have to say, I've never had any frosties, so I've never had that option). 

Good luck with whatever you decide, and look after yourself - here's hoping 2016 holds some good things for you


----------



## MrsLondon

Melly although it was so nice to hear from you, I'm so sorry and sadden by your news.   It must have been so difficult to deal with and I'm sure it still is. 
Having a break sounds like a very good idea and I agree with Rumple, if you can afford a fresh cycle go with that first I suppose? Frozen cycles do tend to be cheaper but if you're worried about the defrost then it sounds like fresh is the forward.
It must be so difficult having your sister pregnant, my SIL was trying when we were cycling and got pregnant before my EC but it was ectopic. I remember what it was like at the time when I knew she was pg, after only 5months of trying when we'd been trying for years. I felt awful when it was ecptic. 
I hope 2016 is your year and you manage to rest and recuperate before trying again.
Stay in touch, lots of love, Mrs London.


----------



## Catf2008

Melly I'm so sorry to read your news, I agree with the other ladies maybe taking a break is a good idea, I know for me it was the best thing I done after my miscarriage x


----------



## Little Small

Hi Melly, stay strong, it's hard but you can....you'll know what to do when the time is right xxxxx we're all here with you xxxxx


----------



## Katfish

Thank you everyone! On tablet number 3 of 14 lets see if this works!

Melly a as everyone else has said it sounds like a good idea to have a break for awhile. This whole process if very draining and hard on all of us and our relationships! I'm really sorry that you have had a ruff time! 

X X X


----------



## Chriskirsty

Hi ladies 
Yeyyyy I've Found you all again.. 
I've been away from ff for a while I just needed a break I do hope your all ok.. I will have to catch up with where you all are  
Well I started tx today for our fet. I am so worried already we only have one in the freezer just praying with my all it defrosts ok and makes our dreams come true.. 
I joined the new cycle buddies thread but could I come back here it's like home with you all 
Best wishes and good luck to you all 
Kirsty 
P.s I'll do personals tonight when I've caught up


----------



## Katfish

ChrisKirsty of course you can come back here!  looking forward to hearing about your little Frosties!! X x


----------



## MrsLondon

Hi Kirsty,

Looking forward to hearing how you get on with your Frostie. Wishing you the best of luck


----------



## Melly2015

Hi Ladies, 

Kirsty- welcome back!   It’s completely understandable why you needed a break, I really hope everything works out for you with your frostie- have you started DR at the moment?

Katfish- hope those tablets do their job for you  

Thank you all so much for your supportive words   . We are definitely taking a bit of a break, and have decided that we will go for a fresh cycle when we jump into treatment again (possibly around April time). We have booked a holiday to Fuerteventura for a week at the end of Feb which I’m really looking forward to. I’m not sure if there’s any additional tests I can have done before we start treatment again- as our fertility problems are unexplained, and we’ve had one negative cycle and one chemical pregnancy even though we did get a good number of eggs at the start- so I don't know if there's anything else I can do to see what the issues might have been but that’ll be something for me to have a think about...

xxx


----------



## Little Small

Hi girls (welcome back Kirsty  )

Would anyone mind if I do a selfish post please....Am feeling very sorry for myself. I have a scan booked next Friday and came down with Flu on Tuesday. I feel HATEFUL. Went to docs yesterday who said there's no reason for the baby to be suffering at all but I'm so frightened. I'm hardly eating but am trying to force down fruit and pregnacare every day. Drinking lots too. I just feel so horrible *sob*.  Am also feeling a bit sicky...not sure if that's pregnancy related or not eating.

Ugh.

Sorry.   I need a hug xxxx


----------



## MrsLondon

Little small:       .
Have you had a flu jab? I wouldn't worry, I know a few people on a different board who had flu following a BFP and their embryos were fine. Try to just rest and keep up your fluids. I'm keeping everything crossed for you.  

Melly: Maybe you could get your immunes tested? I'm not too sure about anything else (sorry). Glad to hear that you've booked a holiday. 

Hi to everyone else.

Xx


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

Melly, immunes are definitely something to think about - although be aware, it very much depends on your clinic as to whether they think it's worth looking into. I was lucky, as I'm an immunologist by profession, so they kind of had to take me seriously, and the lead at my clinic is doing research into immune factors in infertility, so was supportive of some investigations. You would now fall into an official "repeated miscarriage" group, which, even in the NHS, should allow them to do things like an endometrial scratch. I had an endometrial biopsy to look for NK (natural killer) cells, which they found were a bit above normal. This meant that I was put on prednisolone and clexane for my last two cycles. They're not a silver bullet - the first time they tried these drugs, the cycle still failed, but they upped the clexane dose the second time, and then it worked. I also had the scratch, embryo glue and assisted hatching on the cycle that worked, so it's worth asking your clinic about all these things. Have you had your follow up appointment, yet? There's lots of info on here about immune testing, if you want to look it up. 

Little Small - hope you're feeling better today, but I can totally understand why you're feeling terrible   As Mrs London said, the baby should be absolutely fine, so don't worry. The most important thing is to look after yourself. Try to make sure your fluids are up. I always found protein helped with the nausea - try an omelette or something if you can manage it. Drink some milk if you can, as well - protein and hydration in one! But don't take any painkillers or lemsip or anything. While small amounts of paracetamol are safe in pregnancy, a recent study showed it makes absolutely no difference to flu symptoms, so there's no point taking it. I had a cold over Christmas, and found Halls soothers a lifesaver, as they're not medicated. Feel better soon!


----------



## cinnamon75

Blooming heck I've missed loads!!! I've tried to catch up properly but please forgive me if I forget anything important 

*Katfish* At last you have some answers and a plan to get AF to visit again (anti social old bat)  Are you on Norethisterone to make you bleed, not many days left of tablets now I guess? But I have to say woweeee to all those follies!!

*Melly* Oooooo a holiday to Fuerteventura is just what the Dr ordered, I've been there and it's very pretty. We hired a car and explored the island 

*Kirsty* Hellooooooooooooooooooo we missed you!!!! Lovely to see you back and ready for your FET. Try not to think of it as being 'only one' sweetie, in a natural cycle you only get one and ladies get pregnant all the time with one. You know it's a good'un as it made it to blast  I'm really hoping this is your time  

*Little Small* How are you feeling today lovely lady? You sounded so down yesterday and I'm so glad you turned to us all to offload on. MrsLondon and Rumple have given the best advice already so I'm going to just send a big hug  I know things didn't turn out well last time and I know that must be playing on your mind but people get ill all the time when they are pregnant and they go on to have happy healthy pregnancies. The sickness is a great sign so try to keep positive  Your scan is not far away now, but if you are worried why don't you call the EPU at your local hospital, they can do an early scan and are likely to be more sympathetic due to your previous MC xxx

*Catf, Rumple and MrsLondon* Hellooooooo yummy mummies to be! You must all be about 25 weeks now which is such a HUGE milestone. No turning back now ladies!!!!!!  How are you all feeling? How big are you?

*Rumple* the odds of success increasing, the more attempts you have was really reassuring thank you  Fascinating that you're an immunologist!!! Did you have the biopsy with Dr Quenby? I've seen online you can get a local doctor to take bloods and then send it away to have your NK cell profile tested, it's about £450 though... I'm not sure if it's even the right kind of test to have done but it says it includes 7 blood tests: CD3 CD4 CD5 CD8 CD16 CD19 CD56. That mean anything to you? PS. Congratulations on your little boy 

Afm, well I had my follow up consultation on Skype on Tuesday which was good. DP and me had pretty much decided we would go for donor embryo as it gave us the highest chance of success, but we would wait and see what the Dr suggested. She said I could go again and the meds would be changed because I hadn't responded well to the ones they gave me last time (Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide). She said something about doing an antagonist protocol instead as it had worked for me in July. Anyway, I enquired about donor egg and she said at age 40 there is always a much lower chance of success and she would recommend donor but would never pressure us into that decision as it was up to us. We are confident donor is the right option for us now as time wise, we can't afford to keep trying and trying with OE if we don't have much chance. The Dr was happy to continue with DP's swimmers even though his samples are not good, but he has agreed to be on a strict protocol of supplements and cooling patches. He's going to hate the patches as he has to wear them to work and to bed!!! Anyway, DE is a lot easier to plan, we have concrete dates already... EC 14th April, ET 18th/19th April. Three months for us both to lose weight, get fit and cool DP's little dudes down to be in prime shape  I have flights and hotel booked already!!!

HUGE hugs to everyone, especially Little Small who needs them most right now xxxx


----------



## Katfish

Cinnamon good to hear from you! It was Provera they put me on for 7 days took last tablet this morning now the waiting game again! Currently 77 days since last bleed! She is being very anti social your very right!!! Hopefully we will shock her into reality soon! Glad you have a POA! And some solid dates set! Wishing you the best of luck though fingers crossed that thus us your time and it will all work out for you!!! And that your DP's sperm is up to scratch after all the hard work he is going to do! Funny as my DH I think would run away at the idea of the snowballs and deffo at the bit drinking malarkey! I've joked multiple times that he will be on the no alcohol when we get our BFP but he's having none of it! Lol!


----------



## Catf2008

Little small - hope you are starting to feel better, I was told to keep fluids up when I a cold and water infection as that's the main thing

Katfish - I really hope af turns up soon, it must be so annoying that she is taking forever to turn up

Cinnamon - glad you have the next round of treatment booked in, your et is possibly my wedding anniversary (18th April) so I will be thinking of you and hope you keep us updated

Hello to everyone else I hope the new year is treating you all well

Afm - I'm  24 weeks but I'm loving every minute of it, I've officially booked my maternity leave in, I leave on the 8th April  well that's if my company is still there as they have gone into to administration so I may have to leave earlier.


----------



## Katfish

CatF glad all going well for you! All very very exciting! Enjoy it!!

AFM - Guess what guys?!?!?!?! AF has finally shown her face! Classing tomorrow as day 1 been cramping so much today feel like I'm as white as a sheep from the pain too but I can't complain too much As it means I can finally book in!!! So looks like down regulation scan will be the 1st March, start stimming 2nd March and then EC week commencing 14th March! Will get my FSH, LH, Testosterone, TSH and Prolactin taken on Tuesday! I'm so freaking excited that I can finally start!


----------



## Little Small

Hi all, thank you for your thoughts.....it's pulled me through!! I finally feel a little better. Ugh though. Was nasty. Thank you for the hugs. Much love xxxxx sorry for short message but phone nearly out of juice


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## Catf2008

Katfish that is great news x


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## MrsLondon

Katfish- whoooohooooo finally  . Looks like it's all go go go for you then. Good luck and keep us posted  . 

Cinnamon - hi!!! Looks like you've got a pretty decent plan in place too   April will be here before you know it. And you've also got the time to get fit etc as you said. I'm doing well thanks, 25 weeks on Friday and feeling massive. When the midwife measured me last week my bump measured at 26 weeks when I was 24!! But she said it was nothing to worry about unless it gets bigger by three weeks or more. I've also decided that I can't be bothered with work any more....just going through the motions.....which is really bad and lazy of me but I've been so dedicated to teaching for the last 11 years that I fee like I deserved some down time. Only catch is that I'm working up until the bitter end (my due date) so I've got more time at home with the baby. I'll only be able to afford 6/7 months off . I look forward to hearing how your cycle goes. Good luck with the health kick and cooling patches. 

Catf2008 - I'm the same, feeling massive!!! And I measured two weeks ahead at my last midwife appointment, which she wasn't worried about but I am. I really hope I don't get gestational diabetes. I went to visit the birthing unit yesterday and it was so lovely that I really hope I stay low risk and manage to give birth there. I'm so jealous that you're only working until April 8th. I'm working right until the end so I'll have more time off with the baby, we'll that's the plan anyway. Hope everything is ok with your work?? Will you be ok financially if it does go in administration?? I've been feeling less and less motivated with work just so keen to be done now. Glad to hear all is well with you. Have you given much thought to the birth? 

Little small - glad you're feeling a little better. xx 

Hi to everyone else, hope everyone isn't too down on the most depressing day of the year apparently.  .

Lots of love,

Xx


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## Catf2008

Mrslondon - wish I could go into the birthing unit but I'm high risk due to the IVF & my dad having diabetes so I'm consultant, my blood work also came back that I could be at risk for pre eclampsia so I'm on extra monitoring as well.  Well my company only pay 90% for the first 6 weeks and then I go to smp which if the worst happens I can just claim that off the government but it looks like we will keep going for a while. I'm on,y leaving 8th April as I have holiday to use so adding it to the beginning.


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## Katfish

Sorry for the me post - called to book in yesterday wished for it to be discussed with a dr about if we would follow normal dates due to the fact my cycle has been so off! I got the phone call back today by a dr stating that I should now follow the short protocol which I know nothing about and that it would be too late to start it now because I am already past day 2 of my bleed anyway! I know a nurse from the unit so sent her a message in major panic! Also felt like I was being very rude to the dr as requested that I wanted to talk to the previous dr I have seen on multiple occasions! I just want to do they best for both myself and our chances! The worry is we only had 4 follicles before starting IVF then during our cycle I had 12 eggs collected, 8 mature and 4 fertilised had two replaced day 3! Then 50+ follicles at the last scan! So they are worried about OHSS though this has only happened once! My friend is going to call me from the unit tomorrow and hopefully the dr who I have previously seen! As I was unwell This morning I couldn't work tonight so I have booked an appointment at my GP for my bloods to be taken! Just when I thought process this happens! 
Hopefully tomorrow will bring me answers!


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## Rumplestiltskin

Katfish - I can't believe they're messing you about like this, especially when it's taken so much for you to have a bleed! Would it have killed them to warn you that they wanted to do a short protocol?? Sometimes I think they really think we're mind readers! Also, I really think they should have properly discussed such a big change to your treatment with you, so that you knew exactly what to expect. I really hope they give you some answers today, and that this doesn't delay treatment for you for too long. 

Cinnamon - all those tests should be able to be carried out with a single blood sample. I can't speak for how the clinic will do it - there are a couple of ways to look for those markers, and it depends on how they do it. More old-fashioned techniques can look at 2 or three markers at once, newer ones can look at all of them in one go. It really just depends on how they are set up. All those markers you've mentioned - CD4, CD8 etc, denote different cell types in your immune system, and some of them tell you whether they are "activated" or not, ie whether they're currently taking part in an immune response. There's quite a lot of debate out there regarding immunity in fertility - I think it's fair to say that it's playing a role, but at the moment, all the research is so new that there's not a single accepted way that it's involved. My consultant, Mr Akande, is personally interested in the role of endometrial NK cells (natural killer cells - the CD56 will mark these out), rather than circulating immune cells, so they took a biopsy from my endometrium at just about the time implantation would take place, and in my case, found there were too many NK cells present. The treatment for this was prednisolone, which lowers the endometrial NK count. They also gave me clexane, which can also influence the immune system. I never had any of the other immune tests done. 

It's very exciting that you've got dates already for your next cycle - good luck!  

Catf2008 - it's so odd the way they classify pregnancies differently - I'm low risk, despite IVF and my dad also having diabetes...weird. I suppose it shows that we're all actually getting quite personalised care! I did have a glucose tolerance test last week, get the results tomorrow. 

ChristKirsty - good luck with your FET - keeping everything crossed for you!  

Very excited for all of you ladies cycling again - really hope this is the one for you!


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## Katfish

Rumplestiltskin - believe me I'm ****** off to the max! I had been very positive about starting this cycle after my scan showing my good follicle count and thought this would be our time! But now I'm left feeling like it's going to not be and its just going to be a waste of money because they are messing me around! 

I didn't get called today! I called the unit and found out the dr wasn't working that I wanted to speak too so awaited the phone call from the nurse but heard nothing!!! 

I am going to call the unit tomorrow and request to either speak with the consultant that previously dealt with me or the main consultant at the unit! I have lost a lot of trust with them now and I want to know that we are going to be doing the right thing with the very precious sperm we have to use to allow my husband to have his own child.

If they wish to do The short protocol I will be asking for a scan during this cycle to see if the egg situation is still the same case and not just a one off due to having a 78day cycle! 

Hopefully tomorrow I will have more answers!


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## Melly2015

Hi Ladies, 

Hope you are all well

Rumplestiltskin- thank you for the advice   . I did have a scratch and also intralipids for my FET- and obviously got further with that than I did with my original cycle, so would probably go with them again anyway. When I briefly spoke to the consultant after my scan in Dec, she suggested trying clexane next time round anyway. I’ve been reading up a bit, professionally I’m a microbiologist- so although it’s been a while since I’ve studied any immunology, I do have a reasonable understanding of what I’m reading. I’m undecided at the moment about an endometrial biopsy. I can see the reasons for it, but I also know that you need to wait a few cycles to have it done, and then there’s a bit of a wait for the results. My AMH isn’t particularly high (7.8 last time it was measured), so I don’t feel that I have an awful amount of time to play with before my egg numbers start to decline. I’ve also read that it’s a good idea to get tested for thyroid function, Vit D deficiency and celiac disease- as even if these don’t present any symptoms, they can be present and can still impact fertility and miscarriage. I think my GP should be able to refer me for those. My follow up with the clinic is on Monday, so I’ll continue reading over the weekend- and put together a list of questions. 

Little Small- how are you feeling now? Hope you’re better and feeling a bit more positive   . As the others have said, other women do get flu when pregnant and things do work out fine. Only a couple of days until your scan now, really hoping it goes well for you- sending you lots of positive vibes    

Cinnamon- that’s great that you have a plan now! It must be nice to have definite dates in mind. That should give you plenty of time to work on DP and his little swimmers!  

Catf- 24 weeks! Wow! Am so glad you’re loving being pregnant. Can’t believe you’re over halfway, must be so exciting!  

MrsLondon- glad your pregnancy is going well...must make it seem so real that you’ve been to visit the birthing centre. I can imagine work probably isn’t as motivating anymore- you’ve definitely got more important priorities now  

Katfish- can’t believe you’ve been messed around like that by your clinic- especially since as you say; you’ve got a decent follicle count at the moment and you want to make the most out of DH’s sperm. I really hope you get some answers today   

Hi to everyone else  

AFM- got my follow up appointment with the clinic on Monday, so over the weekend will put together the questions we want to ask at it. My AF hasn’t made an appearance yet since (the bleed I had after my chemical was just over 4 weeks ago). I know it’s not particularly late yet (especially compared to yours, Katfish!) and I'm not too worried as I'm not waiting to cycle at the moment but I (slightly selfishly!) don’t want my next one to make an appearance for our holiday in 5 weeks time   . I’m sure it won’t do what I want it to anyway! Has anyone else here had a chemical pregnancy?- and if so, how long did it take AF to arrive afterwards? I generally have a really regular cycle, but I do know that the pregnancy/ drugs etc can make things go a bit haywire.


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## Rumplestiltskin

Melly, hello fellow scientist! Always a pleasure   Tbh, your hesitation over a biopsy sounds reasonable (also, apparently for most people they're fairly straightforward and only a little uncomfortable, but mine was horrendous, so there's that to consider, too. Although if you've already had a scratch, you're probably pretty clear on what's involved, anyway!). I think if your consultant is willing to offer clexane without the biopsy, you might as well skip it. Maybe discuss prednisolone with her? At my clinic, 2 miscarriages/failed cycles were enough to warrant prednisolone and clexane without any further investigation, since they've found these strategies beneficial for that group of women - I think they made me have the biopsy because I'd only had one failed cycle when I started asking about immune tests, so they didn't want to treat me without having good reason, especially as prednisolone in particular carries the increased risk of cleft lip/palate (so far we know our baby's lips are fine, but we won't know about the palate until he gets here). FYI, clexane is super pricey! One chemist was really shocked and embarrassed to charge me the £100 odd pounds for a couple of weeks' supply. I'm lucky enough to have never suffered a chemical, but my periods are always off after a failed cycle - the first time I was a week late (cue dangerous hope of possible late success) and the second time I was a week early (which is when I found out that tampax are not easy to come by in Sri Lanka or Dubai...condoms, easy, tampons, nightmare!)

Katfish - OMG! Really hope you get some answers today, can't believe they're STILL messing you about!


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## Katfish

Melly I know such a pain in the backside hey!!! I know 4 weeks isn't anything in comparison however my body likes to be a pain in the back side and surprise everyone all the time! Fingers crossed that it comes for you soon though and in time so you can have your holiday AF free! 

AFM - my friend at the clinic today called me back today. I've got a scan booked in for the 5th Feb to see what my naughty ovaries that like to play games are doing this time. If it's back to 10 on each for example they will send me home with the nasel spray to commence the long protocol. Now if it's still doing the same showing a lot more then they will do the short protocol. Give me Provera to start a bleed and order my meds ready to start! So we would still be looking at the beginning of March to have egg collecting! They think it's better to look at the short protocol because of the number of follicles gives me such a high risk of OHSS which could then end up with having to cancel the cycle. I'm feeling a bit better about the whole thing but still majorly stressed out too. Now just to wait!


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies, I thought I would say hello to you all.  It is lovely to see so many of you still posting on here. I have been reading the thread now and again, but I haven't had chance to post.

*NotleyAbbey, Catf, Rumple and MrsLondon* - so glad to hear things are progressing well for you 

*Melly* - so sorry to hear your news  I'm pleased you have a lovely holiday to look forward to, it sounds like you need it after such a difficult time. I hope af stays away for your holiday.

*ChrisKirsty *- how exciting for you starting your FET, how is it going? Wishing you all the very best of luck!! I hope this is it for you 

*LittleSmall* - huge congratulations!! So sorry to hear you have been suffering with the flu, but hope you feel much better now.

*Cinnamon* - sorry to hear about your second cycle. It is great that you have a plan in place for April, as others have said, it will soon be here.

*Katfish* - it sounds you have been messed around first by af and your clinic. I hope things go well with your scan on 5th February and you're able to get started. I did short protocol for my cycle if I can be of any help.

*June* - so sorry to hear about your bfn 

*MrsChef* - it's lovely to see you on here as well. It sounds like you have made the right decision for you and I wish you all the very best and hope 2016 is a better year for you.

AFM - there is not much to report from me. We have been having a bit of a break from all things IVF and it has helped a lot to step away from it for a bit. We have been trying to eat healthily and DH is still using his snowballs and we're taking several vitamins between us. We went to some open days at a few clinics but we haven't officially signed up for one as yet. We are still considering whether to go ahead with a second cycle or if it is best to see Mr R first. I am fed up with work and want to leave, but the timing isn't great for doing another cycle so I'm still deciding whether to stick with it. I'm definitely ready to leave but would regret it if a cycle was successful and it is also easier to attend appointments etc. Anyway, it is lovely to see you all chatting still and I hope to continue to post here  Lets hope 2016 is a more positive year for those of us that did not have success in 2015! Hello to anyone I have missed. x


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## Katfish

MrsRL lovely to hear from you! What was the reason that you where on the short protocol? The scans the 2nd I got my dates muddled! Sorry to hear that your job isn't going very well! Hopefully you will find a way that works for you both and you can look at treatment soon plus all the hard work pays off soon! X x


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## MrsRL

Hello Katfish  

I wasn't fully informed of the reason for short protocol really, all they said was that the consultant had based it on my AMH and decided that was the best protocol for me. I had to call on day 1 of my cycle, that was the Sunday, so I called first thing the Monday. I then went for the scan on the Tuesday as you can go day 2/3 and started the meds that evening. I hope your scan on the 2nd goes well. After talking to DH last night, I think we might try and get an appointment with Mr R ASAP and see what he says. If it's looking like a few months to improve DH's swimmers (if there is anything they can do), I will seriously look at getting another job. If we decide to go ahead with treatment sooner as Mr R can't help, I will stick my job out for a while. I think we may try and visit a couple of other clinics too and see what we think in the meantime. xx


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## Rumplestiltskin

Mrs RL, lovely to see you on here. Sounds like you're in a very similar position to me this time last year. After our first failed cycle, it really helped me to take control of the situation, and visit some other clinics and meet Mr R, and really come up with a new plan of action. We also gave ourselves a deadline: that we would do at least 2, maybe 3 more cycles if timing allowed, and if I wasn't pregnant by the end of the year, we would seriously reconsider everything. This was also going to include reconsidering my job, where I often struggle and feel very unhappy, but the pay and conditions are quite good, so it didn't make sense to pack it in while cycling. I still can't quite believe that everything finally worked - I think we were both much more prepared for the review scenario than anything else. But having a plan, with outcome scenarios and courses of action really, really helped us face the year. 

Mr R is amazing - just the way he treats you makes you feel better about everything, since he really listens and will do absolutely everything he can for you. We've been seeing him for a year, and although we got pregnant without his help this time, it's made a big psychological difference to be under his care. 

I really hope that this year brings you some better results.


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## cinnamon75

Just a very quick one as I am off out tonight, but look at us... we made it on to the 'Long established Buddies' board!!!     

Goes to show how special we all are and I'm so proud to be part of the group  

Will write a proper reply to you all soooooooon I promise. Love to all!!!

Ps. Hello Mrs RL!!!!


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## Chriskirsty

Hello lovely ladies 
Sorry I've been awol since posting I've been so busy with work but I officially finish today for 3 weeks so I can catch up and try to relax a little... 
I promise to do personals this weekend but it's great to see you all still post and I do hope your all well in health along this hard journey., 

My af arrived on time on Thursday so I have officially moved to stage two of the fet and started my estradiol tablets today my scan is the 3rd and If everything is ok my transfer will be the 8th providing our Ice baby wakes up safely.. I'm terrified incase it doesn't as we only have the one frostie..

As you all no I'm such a worrier and keep going into complete meltdown over it, dh comforted me for an hour the other day because I let my fears get the better of me, it's just really taking over me. I feel desperate I went to see my go who prescribed me diazepam but  I'm worried to take it incase it affects the cycle he says not but u just never no., 

Sorry for the me post I will do personals and can't wait to read where you all are 
Speak soon ladies 
Kirsty 
P.s thank you all for your continued support  your amazing xxxxx


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## Katfish

Hi MrsRL strange that they didn't really tell you much about it! I got a call yesterday from the drug company which I have put on hold until the 2nd as no point paying for them all and then they change there mind again! Drugs are a lot cheaper though!  I've got the paperwork through it doesn't look like my unit scans until day 9 on the short protocol you just get on with the drugs! I would feel very nervous having a scan while AF is making an appearance! Sounds like you have a good plan! Makes sense to wait and see what mr R says first as you want the best chance possible and if you can improve the sperm quality first that will be a fab start! 

Chriskirsty fab news that you have started you AF and all still on plan for your ET! Best of luck!!!! Fingers crossed that this is your time!!


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## MrsLondon

Morning ladies,

MrsRL - nice to see hear from you, hope the short protocol works for you. I thought I would have been on the short protocol due my AMh but I wasn't. We only got 4 eggs at our EC.  I agree with Rumplestiltskin, perhaps seeing DR R first would be best. He seems like a great consultant. . Where abouts are you based? We went to a fair few open days too. There are loads of boards on here for different clinics that you can also ask those who have cycled with them about their experiences. 

ChrisKirsty - ooooh exciting times ahead, I hope your frostie thaws nicely for you and all goes well with your FET. I can completely understand your anxieties and being off work will hopefully elevate your stress. Make sure you have some things planed so your not kicking around by yourself with no one to talk to. I was off during my 2ww and i drove myself insane. Lots of tears and over thinking but I suppose it was less stressful than being at work. Good luck!! Can't wait to hear how it all goes.  

Cinnamon-   We are indeed a special group. This board really helped me during my cycle, I wouldn't have coped otherwise.

Melly- good luck for tomorrow, hope it goes well. Let us know...  

Catf and Rumplestiltskin- it is odd how different hospitals have different policies. Rumplestiltskin, how was your glucose test result?? Hope you both are keeping well? I still can't believe I've STILL got 15 weeks ish to go. However compared to years of trying and the IVF I suppose it's nothing in comparison. 

Katfish - hope you're having a lovely weekend.

Hi to anyone else who I've missed, hope you all have lovely Sunday's.

Xx


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## Melly2015

Hi Ladies, 

Rumplestiltskin- thanks for the advice   I’ve been doing a good bit of reading around immune factors and infertility...has been an interesting learning exercise, it’s been a while since I did my immunology module at uni   !!! I did speak to the clinic about additional medication- have updated below. Hope you're well  

Katfish- glad you’re feeling a bit better about things. I hope the scan on the 2nd goes well for you, it must still be so frustrating to be messed around like that  

MrsRL- how are you! Am glad your break from all things IVF has helped. That sounds like a good plan to go and see Dr R- although I’m guessing he’ll see what DH’s results are like, and hopefully they might have improved as a result of the snowballs and the vitamins etc anyway. Even though we’ve not had male factor issues, I have got my DH to start taking CoQ10 as well as me. I’ve been doing a lot of reading on what can help, and it can help sperm as well as eggs- so that might be something else to add. I really hope this is your year   

Chriskirsty- am glad your AF has arrived and you’ve been able to move onto the tablets. Hope your scan goes well- I found the scan for my lining strange during my FET- it’s so much quicker than when you are on a fresh cycle, as they just measure your lining and then you’re done! No poking around looking for ovaries. In some ways I found the FET strange, as you’ve so much less contact with the clinic during it, but I decided to try and relax a bit (although yes, the defrosting thing is scary) and I found ET a lot easier which might have been partly because I hadn’t had as much stress leading up to it with having to go through EC etc. I know you’ll be worried about your frostie- we’re all sending positive defrosting vibes- but the best thing you can do is be as calm as possible so that you can give a nice home to your little ice-baby  

MrsLondon and Catf- hope you are both well  

Hi to everyone else  

AFM- had my review appointment yesterday. Apart from the fact that being at the clinic just brought back all the memories of my last scan there when we found out the pregnancy was chemical, it went well. We will be cycling again in April with a fresh cycle. I did speak to them in depth about what other medication we could look at in case it’s an immune response issue. So I will be taking clexane with this one, and I will also be having an intralipid infusion (which I did have last time). We’re probably going to pay for a multi-cycle so that we have another one in case this one doesn’t work and the cost of that covers all possible FETs too. Because I’m having the intralipids, (which there is some evidence to support that they can help with immune response issues and there’s no side effects) I’m not going to try prednisolone this time, but if this cycle doesn’t work, then the clinic will add that to the following one (or FET). I spoke to them about some further tests, including a phospholipid antibody assay to see if blood clotting was definitely a factor (and hence the clexane would be necessary), but it can’t be done for another 6 weeks anyway (I need to wait a certain length of time after the pregnancy for that one- even though it was a very brief pregnancy). So we will add the clexane on anyway, and see if that helps. So we have a plan and I just need to clear my head a bit, keep taking the supplements I’m on and in April we’ll be all go again. 4 weeks and 1 day until my holiday (and counting!)


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies 

Rumplestiltskin - thank you for your lovely words of advice  We are currently pursuing an appointment with Mr R and hopefully there is something he can to help. I like your idea of having a plan in place and think it is something we definitely need to do. Did you see Mr R at the clinic in London or Windsor? I hope things are good with you?  

Cinnammon - it is very exciting that we have made it to the long established buddies board, go us!!    This is definitely a lovely group and I'm so pleased that so many of us continue to post on here  

Kirsty - good luck with everything, it sounds like things are going well for you. I hope you manage to not worry too much and that this is your successful cycle. I hope having time off work helps you. I will be thinking of you x  

Katfish - my clinic didn't really keep me informed much about anything tbh, I'm glad we don't have to go there again. That is what happened with me for short protocol, I just started the drugs and wasn't seen until around day 9, it is a bit scary but it was fine in my case. In a way short protocol is good because it is quicker, but you are relying on your own cycle. I was worried about the scan while on AF too, but it wasn't as awful as I imagined and remember it doesn't phase them as they see it all the time 

MrsLondon - I'm glad to hear things are going well for you. I am based in Buckinghamshire, but on the border with Oxfordshire. We have visited OFU in Oxford, Care in Northampton, Herts & Essex and Bourn Hall so far. I liked Bourn Hall and Herts but felt it was a bit too far for us. You were at the Lister weren't you? I was interested in possibly attending an open day there too. Is there parking there? Would you recommend it?

Melly - I'm ok thank you, how are you doing now? The break has definitely helped us. Thank you for the advice on CoQ10, that is helpful  Out of interest, where do you get yours from? I'm glad your follow up appointment went well. I hope this year is your year too    Your holiday will soon be here  

I had better go as on lunch. Hello to everyone else. Take care ladies xx


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## Melly2015

Mrs RL- I'm ok, thank you. Still struggling a bit after the chemical pregnancy, it's been harder to deal with in some ways than the negative we had in the summer...but then in other ways, I guess we did get one step further. I'm at Bourn Hall, and I really like it there- obviously if it's too far for you, then that's probably not an option but I've found all the staff lovely and I like that it doesn't look like a clinic. They also do a multi-cycle package in conjunction with Access Fertility which we're looking into. If you want any more details- just let me know and I'll pm you. I have ordered ubiquinol CoQ10 from Amazon...I've tried a few different ones, because I tend to order one that's on special offer!!! Once they say "Ubiquinol" on them, then they're fine.  

xxx


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## MrsRL

Melly - I'm sure it must have been devestating for you  I understand what you mean as getting a positive gives you some hope. Let's hope the next cycle is the one for you  Bourn Hall was a lovely environment and I could see it being a lovely peaceful place to go to. That is what put me off my first clinic as it was across 2 hospitals and there was obviously patients there for other things, including pregnant ladies etc, which I found hard! I wouldn't ever go back there again. Are you local to Bourn Hall? I have looked at that package previously and it does look like a good offer  thanks for the info, I'm not sure if mine is ubiquinol as its from Holland and Barrett and doesn't say. I may have to look again when I run out. 

On a side note, I have started reading 'The Pursuit of Motherhood' by Jessica Hepburn, has anyone else read it? I have also recently bought 'It starts with the egg' so hoping to get some tips from it  xx


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## Melly2015

MrsRL- I'm about 45 mins drive south from Bourn Hall, so not very local, but not too long a trip either. We originally looked into Bourn back when we thought we'd be able to get a funded cycle, as they take patients through the NHS too. Unfortunately I got pregnant with my ectopic 3 months before we would have been eligible for funding (3 years unexplained with no pregnancy) so that put an end to that and meant we had to pay for it   . But I had really liked the look of Bourn, so we went to an additional open evening there, and decided to go with it. I have read "It starts with the egg", it's really good. I have also given it to DH to read...I don't know if he will   , but I think it might help him understand why we're eating certain foods, avoiding others etc etc etc!!!


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## MrsLondon

Just a quick one to MrsRL - I thought you were in bucks, but wasn't sure if I had remembered correctly. Yes we went with Lister in the end, Herts and Essex was a close second but we went with Lister due to their specialism with women with a low ovarian reserve and their success. Also herts and essex started talking to me about donor eggs without even saying to try using my own first. Our consultant was James Niccolopolous (that's definitely not how you spell it lol) and we found him to be very charismatic but at times slighted rushed for time. He definitely knows his stuff though and recently consulted on a book. (I happened to stumble across it in Waterstones, I read the first few pages and it seemed really good). I would recommend them for sure...downsides include: no parking, but you can park in battersea park which is a 5min walk away, you dont always have the same consultant for initial consultation, EC and ET which can make you feel that you're not having that extra support with someone who knows your journey and the nurses lead all the scan appointments so that following your initial consultation, you only see the nurses until your EC day. The nurses there are GREAT!!! amazing in fact. they call you back and respond to emails, a consultant does read your notes following all your visits though and if things need to be changed the nurses call you back and let you know. The thing with me was that it worked first time which obviously means that I am pleased with them, but when I thought it would be a BFN i was looking at getting my embryos transferred somewhere else. Have a look at the Lister thread if you're keen to speak to others. It's tricky because the facilities there are out of this world, my hospital room was like a hotel and they weren't even that more expensive compared to herts and essexs, the doctors there know their stuff for sure, I think they take it more seriously when you've previously had an unsuccessful cycle as the first one tends to be a "trial" to see how it goes, or so I thought. Having said that, they were great in upping my stims when I wasn't responding too well at the start and they were really positive in saying that I have got a good chance of it working. Sorry I've rambled on a bit too much. Good luck and let me know if you have any more questions.

Love and hugs to everyone else (sorry for lack of other personals)

xx


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## mrschef04

Hello everyone!  I'm sorry this is a quick update, but it feels good to come on here for the first time without a feeling of dread or sadness.  I will do personals first thing tomorrow morning!  I hope you're all well!  I've taken about six months to take care of myself, to grieve a bit and to accept that I won't have a baby.  It was very hard and very disappointing and then I came out the end of the tunnel.  So my husband and I have been talking about it and looking at it and we have decided to adopt a 3 to 5 year old child who desperately needs a loving home.  I've had a few phone conversations over the past month with agencies and we are now booked on an information session.  We anticipate we should be fully adopted in about 14-18 months.  We're doing all of our research and saving our money first.  This is sort of the first steps and then do the checks.  It means we have to move, but it will be wonderful to be in a bigger place.  It's a big decision.  We know the risks, but we have so much love between the two of us and our little fur baby cat, that it would be so selfish not to share that with someone who really needs it!  I know that the child will most likely have gone through a lot of neglect, abuse and sadness, but so have I and I have so much love and energy in me, I hope I could impact someone to see past that.  Sorry for the incredibly selfish post, but I was so sad coming on here for a while.  It was so hard, but now I am feeling so happy to know I'll get my little bean too and I felt I had to share it with all of you!  Big big hugs to everyone out there and I'll write first thing tomorrow.


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## Katfish

MrsChef it's so good to hear from you and to know that your getting that step closer to having your own family. I think it's a lovely thing to do and hopefully you find the perfect child to bring into your family! I see babies that go into the system and it makes me want to do it as well some day! X X X


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## MrsRL

Melly - 45 minutes is local enough. We seem to live in quite an awkward place where nothing is really local and the closest is at least a 45 minute drive away. I am hoping to start reading 'It Starts with the Egg' properly tonight as I have just finished 'The Pursuit of Motherhood'. Good idea getting DH to read it  Hopefully he does! We are nearly in February now, count down to your holiday can properly begin.  

MrsLondon - thank you very much for the information on Lister. It is much appreciated. We have decided to book on to an open day in mid-February so will let you know how it goes. It is useful seeing the good and bad points from someone that has been there. It's nice to hear of a clinic that does respond to emails and phone calls promptly. My clinic was quite old fashioned in that respect and didn't even have an email, plus never seemed to answer the phone!! I did like Herts & Essex for the fact they seemed more interested in looking at male factor than other open evenings we visited (most clinics tend to focus on the female as they appear to have much more knowledge in this area from my experience), but they do PICSI, which not many clinics in the UK offer, as I believe it is something that clinics abroad rather than the UK offer routinely. It was just the journey there that put me off, which is a shame, as it would be difficult to cycle around work if I'm having to go so far for scans etc. How are things with you? I hope all is well. When do you finish work?

MrsChef - it is lovely to hear from you  I am so pleased to read your update and think it is a lovely thing for you to do. I am happy for you and hope you will keep us updated on your progress to becoming a family of 4 with you, your hubby, fur baby and your new child. I wish you all the very best of luck with it all and hope it doesn't take too long to get there. We have always discussed that we would be interested in adoption in the future, IF we are lucky enough for IVF to work, we would be interested in adopting a second child rather than going through IVF.

Hello to everyone else. How are you all doing?

We have managed to book an appointment for mid-February with Mr R in London, which coincides with the open evening I mentioned above so we get to do two things in one day. It is not going to be cheap, but hopefully worth it and it will hopefully allow us to get some answers and a plan of action in place, or at least know where we stand. Thank you to those of you that have recommended Mr R to us. It's nice to think we are taking some action to get where we want to be. 

Take care xx


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## MrsLondon

Happy Monday ladies,

MrsChef- really really nice to hear from you, I'm so glad that you are feeling stronger and have the ball rolling re adoption. You're right, there are many many children who are in need of a secure and loving home, I'm sure you and DH will be wonderful parents especially given your background. I look forward to hearing all the updates 

MrsRL- do let me know what you think of Lister at the open day, they definitely seemed more in the know compared to Herts and Essex at the open day when i went. Make sure you take a list of questions and the consultant will definitely answer them. Where do you work? Lister have a satellite clinic Windsor/Slough way where you can have all your scans etc. I didn't use it as it was the summer hols when I cycled but if/when I have my FET with them I'll probably do that. I'm fine thanks, been suffering with heartburn and rib pain but I can't complain. I'm not sure when I'll finish work...I've given them my due date as the start of my mat leave as I didn't want to be kicking about at home for too long esp if the baby is late...also I want to be off for as long as possible with the baby as I won't be able to afford to take more than 7months. I have lost all motivation with work though    still have 13.5weeks to go. 

Hi to everyone xxx


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## Katfish

Hi guys just a quick very sleepy update from me before work! 
Had my scan earlier same lady with the green room glove!
The scan is looking very much the same I have a thin linninh which is what they expected because of my long cycles! I am going to be put onto the short protocol! I ordered my meds today and will start taking Provera to induce a bleed on Valentine's Day! Hopefully it will be nice and fast to work again and should hopefully bleed on the 21st and will start treatment from then. They will most likely scan me earlier than the normal day 9 scan to make sure I have the right doses and to ensure that I will not get OHSS! 

Hope all is well with everyone else! X x


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## Chavalar

Hello ladies,

I've not been on this thread for a while.

I hope you don't mind me joining in. I'm cycling March/April. 

My husband has been using snowballs since September and his count has increased from 13mil to 44mil. I'm feeling a little more positive about our next cycle.


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## Stini

Hello ladies. Very long time: how is everyone? I haven't been on FF in any shape or form for months. Chavalar and MrsChef, so chuffed for you both: those are two big, brilliant milestones. Would love to hear more about the process MrsC.. All fine with me & pregnancy. 
Loads of love to you all.
Xxxx


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## Rumplestiltskin

Stini! Great to hear from you, glad everything's going well! Do you know if you're having a boy or a girl? We're having a boy. 

Chavalar - great to see you, too! Hope the new cycle goes well, keeping everything crossed for you. 

Katfish, hope you got your bleed yesterday. I don't know much about the short protocol, so I'll be interested to hear what happens with you. Good luck! 

Mrs London - yeah, I could have happily packed work in about a month ago! Still, only another 5 weeks for me - I'm lucky enough to have lots of annual leave owing, that I can stack up against the start of mat leave. 

Mrs RL - good luck with Mr R. I hope you find him as helpful as we did. 

Mrschef - what a fabulous decision, and I'm so pleased to hear that you're in a happier place now. I really hope it all goes well, and you find your little one soon  You'll be an amazing mum. 

AFM, I'm fine, everything's going well. Finally allowing myself to buy things for the baby, and start to get the nursery ready. I've been too nervous before now to do anything.


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## Katfish

Chavalar good to hear from you! Glad that you are able to start cycling soon! So happy for you that the snowballs are seeming to do the job too!!

Stini glad that all is going well with the pregnancy not that much longer left for you now! 

Rumplestiltskin I started the tablets on Saturday evening instead if Valentine's Day which I have to take twice a day for seven days and once I finish taking them then I will bleed! So hopefully this Sunday or Monday I will bleed! I then the short protocol will begin! I have to start with Gonal f on day two, then on day 5 I add another injection ontop of that one in the morning. And they shall start scanning me probs first scan will be about day 5! Normally not till day 9 but will scan earlier to make sure my doses are ok! Glad that your finally relaxing and that you are enjoying buying baby bits!


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## Melly2015

Hi Ladies, 

Hope you are all well, 

Mrschef- was lovely to come on here and read your post. That’s amazing that you’ll be able to give a loving home to a little one who needs it   - and it really sounds like you’re at peace with the decision you’ve made which is great too. Have you been on the information session yet? 

MrsRL- have you been in for your appointment with Mr R yet? Hopefully you’ll get some answers and a plan of action to work with

MrsLondon- hope you’re well, sorry to hear about the heartburn and rib pain....it will all be worth it when little one arrives.  I can definitely imagine that the motivation for work has gone a bit when you’ve got more important things going on

Katfish- that’s great that you’re starting now! Hopefully you’re bleed will arrive ok and will be able to get onto stimms then. The short protocol really does seem quick!!

Chavalar- That’s great news that the snowballs have worked for your husband. Am glad you’re feeling positive about your next cycle...I’ll not be too long after you, I’m going to be starting my next cycle in April

Stini- Good to hear that all is well with you and the pregnancy- hope the next while continues like that for you

Rumplestiltskin- wow, only 5 more weeks of work, it must make it easier to be able to use some annual leave for it too. Am really pleased for you that you feel you can buy some things for the baby and get the nursery ready

Hope everyone else is well  

All good with me, looking forward to going on holiday next week and switching off for a week. Then have a few things to keep me busy in March and then we’ll be starting our next cycle in April!


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## mrschef04

MrsRL - how did your visit at Lister go?  I think you mentioned mid-February?

MrsLondon - can you believe it?  Time has flown so fast and it's so soon for you!  Congratulations

Chavalar - Fingers crossed on the counts.  That looks promising!

Stini - hello lovely lady!  I'm so happy things are going smoothly for you!

Rumplestiltskin - amazing.  Enjoy buying the baby things honey!

Hello to all of you ladies out there and those that I missed!  Lots of love to you all!

AFM - we have put the adoption meeting on hold for a second.  Currently, I'm 10 days late for my AF and we're just waiting it out until I hit 36 days in my cycle with no period before testing.  It's kind of freaky, but let's see.  The only people I've said this to are my DH and you guys.  I had food poisoning two weeks ago and I'm thinking maybe sickness has delayed my period.  I'm not quite sure how I feel about it yet.  I'm not holding out any hope, as I usually get disappointed anyway, so I'm just pretending that it's just delayed until I see any answers.  Though, my body seems to be changing a little already.  I never ever get cold sores and I've gotten a couple in the last few days, which indicates my body is suppressing my immune system.  Even though I've been really healthy and relaxed and getting plenty of sleep.  Plus, I seem to be getting nauseous and can't eat a thing in the mornings, even though I go to the gym every morning for 90 minutes.


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## Rumplestiltskin

OMG, MrsChef! I couldn't read and run - I'm so keeping literally everything crossed for you!!!


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## mrschef04

So, my lovely ladies.  What a weird roller coaster this has been!  I had to get medicine at Boots, so I said, what the hey, and bought the cheapest test.  Did it when I got into work and it showed up within 5 seconds.  I'm pregnant!  The one that all of the doctors said I had less than a 1% chance of ever conceiving naturally.  The one who had less than a 5% chance of conceiving with IVF.  The one with an FSH of 32 at one point.  The one that was the worst responder to IVF drugs and only got two eggs.  I feel a little good because, like I've said, my immune system is entirely down right now, so my body isn't attacking anything.  You are the only ones I've told other than my husband.  I haven't quite got my head around it yet and there still is a road ahead - i.e. possible miscarriage (which could be likely) or possible defects at the scan, so until then, you guys are the ones that I will secretly speak with and have a little hope with.  Big big hugs!


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## Catf2008

MrsChef - OMG I've so over the moon for you, I have a stupid huge grin on my face right now, the biggest CONGRATULATIONS ever

Ladies how are you all doing? 

Afm - I'm 29 weeks today and my little girl is a total wiggler, nearly all set for her arrival, had a 28 week growth scan last week and she is currently measuring over a week ahead so I have a feeling I'm going to have a big baby


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## Rumplestiltskin

MrsChef, they should make a film about you!!! What a journey! You couldn't make it up! But, YAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!     

If I were you, I'd book in for a 6/7 week private scan asap, check that your little miracle is doing ok! 

So incredibly excited for you (I know you must be quite scared, too, but allow yourself this moment!)


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## Little Small

MrsChef!!!! (Sorry girls I've been hiding) had to reply!! @@@!!!** That's awesome!!! Am thrilled thrilled thrilled.....Oh I have everything crossed for you 

Much love to you all.....I will be back.....next week xxxxx kisses


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## cinnamon75

Well blow me down with a feather, popped on to have a quick catch up and look what's been happening!!!!!

*MrsChef* Wow. Just wow!!! I have to agree with Rumple, they could make a film out of your story  So blooming happy this is happening for you lovely lady, you have been through so much poo it's about time life threw you a miracle. Some things are just meant to be, no matter how impossible they seem. I have everything crossed that you have a healthy nine months ahead.  I cried when I read your news, it's just so special and reasuring for us all to see that anything can happen!

*Katfish* Ooooooo you have been a busy lady. I've just read back over your posts and what a rollercoaster you've been on! I'm so glad AF finally showed up and that you made sure you had a second scan to check out the follicle count. I bet you are looking forward to seeing her this weekend!!!!! You'll be cycling in no time 

*Little Small* how did your first scan go? I have been thinking about you, especially as we went through our losses back in August... I can only imagine how nervous you must've been in these first 12 weeks. Best wishes and huge hugs to you and I look forward to reading your update when you feel ready xxxx

*Rumple* Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge on the immunes testing and the NK cells stuff. I'm still a little confused about all the different medications. So there's Clexane, Prednisolone and Intralipids? Are they all for high NK cells? Sorry for so many questions!! More importantly how is mummy to be and her little one doing? Are you all ready for the arrival? I know it's a couple of months away yet though 

*Melly* When I had my first scan in August last year after my BFP they couldn't see anything and the doctor said it was either a chemical pregnancy or a pregnancy of unknown location (PUL). I did still have quite a lot of HCG in my blood though which halved as I lost the pregnancy over the following week. I was about 7.5-8weeks. I bled heavily then (sorry for TMI) and had a huge clot the size of my hand, but flat which looked like my lining all coming out at once. It was so painful!!! Anyway, my next bleed was about 6 weeks after that and since then AF has been regular again. It is very hard to deal with a PUL or Chemical and to be honest, I don't feel like I was ever pregnant. It also made me feel like a fraud and I also wonder whether all BFPs will be the same. It's a very confusing thing to have happen to you. Anyway, on a more positive note have a FANTASTIC holiday in Fuerteventura next week you lucky thing!!!! We'll be cycling together again in April 

*MrsLondon* Blimey you have a lovely big juicy baby growing in your tummy don't you!?  Is baby still striding ahead of her weeks? Were you a big baby when you were born? SO excited for you!!!! Xxx 

*Catf* You too lovely lady!!! 29 weeks is it now? Blimey time is flying. Isn't it strange to think only last summer we are all starting our treatment and had no idea what the next few months would hold for us all. Looks like your baby boy is baking well too 

*ChrisKirsty* I'm going to have to go hunting to see what your news is as didn't you do your FET in Janiary with your lovely little frostie? I hope it has or is going well. Thinking of you and hoping it hasn't been too stressful for you this time xxx

*MrsRL* Meeting Mr R will be exciting! So is he a specialist for DH's swimmers? Good luck with your first consultation it must be soon?

*Chavalar* Blooming amazing results for your DH's swimmers!!!!! My DP is also using them, along with some cooling patches at work and I'm bed and your DH's numbers are really reassuring. You must be over he moon with that result! What a trooper for being so committed all these months  Are you doing a long or short protocol in March/April? I'm hoping Spring is a good season for us all 

*Stini* lovely Stini, how wonderful to hear from you. I miss looking at your GIF updates as they used to make me laugh  I hope you aren't working too hard and are nice and relaxed - SO pleased to hear everything is going well xxx

Big hello to everyone else who might still be lurking.... 

AFM, no news really, time is flying!! AF started today but classing tomorrow as first full bleed so I start taking the BC pill tomorrow to start synching my cycle with the donor! I keep having the odd wobble but they come and go. I'm really hoping after all DP's hard work with supplements, snowballs and cooling patches that he gets the reward of seeing his sample improve, but we shall have to wait and see and what will be will be  I decided to get my NK cells tested, but at the moment it's just with a blood test and not the biopsy as we are going ahead with the cycle in April now. Fingers crossed it will either ease my mind or point me in the right direction of any meds that need to be added.

Big hugs to all xxx


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## Katfish

Melly believe me I am counting down the days! Glad you have things to keep you busy before you start your cycle! Enjoy your holiday! 

Mrschef omg I am so excited and happy for you! I hope that all plans out and you have a full and healthy pregnancy this time round! I can't believe it! You where doing well thinking that you where not going to test until day 36! Thank you for sharing our little secret with us!  I would be doing what Rumplestiltskin said get a scan booked to make sure all is ok! Never know your GP may do one for you if you ask nicely! 

Catf glad that all is going well with your pregnancy! 

LittleSmall looking forward to hearing from you soon!

Cinnamon I know a very crazy roller coaster but it's hopefully all happening and all worth it soon! Glad things are moving on with you too now! All very exciting things happening this year!  best of luck with it all!

AFM - still taking my provera just waiting for Saturday when I will be taking the last dose Saturday morning! Now just need to get over my crazy weeks full of shifts!


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## Melly2015

Hi Ladies, 

Mrschef- wow, congratulations!   That’s great news...as the others have said, I’d get myself booked in for an early scan- and enjoy being pregnant! Wishing you a healthy 9 months ahead of you xxx

Catf- wow 29 weeks! How exciting....won’t be too long now before you can meet your little girl   xxx

Little Small- hi! Hope everything is all going ok for you at the moment   xxx

Cinnamon- yep, it definitely is a weird thing to happen- I’ve now had an ectopic pregnancy (naturally conceived back in 2014) and the chemical too- and I still sometimes don’t feel that I’ve ever been properly pregnant- even though I’ve seen bfp’s on two occasions now. Anyway- will see what comes in April/ May! Glad time is flying for you too, I imagine the odd wobble is understandable; none of the process is easy. With DE, will your cycle follow a similar protocol as for a FET? Do you still have to go through down regging? Am so excited for you that things are moving along...   xxx

Katfish- hope your bleed comes punctually for you! I can definitely imagine that you are counting down the days!   xxx

Hugs to everyone else!  

xxx


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## mrschef04

Hi Ladies,


Melly – Yeah I was going to do an early scan, but I just don’t want to give myself hope.  At the moment, I’m just ignoring it and even my GP won’t see me until 8th March, when I’m 8 weeks along to refer me to the antenatal clinic.  I guess I think I just want to see what happens.  I just feel like I’ll know for sure and be out of the clear at 12 weeks, so I might as well wait until then.  Also because I’m 39 years old, it’s also going to be about the Downs testing, etc., so I’ll just be waiting and seeing.

Katfish – how are things feeling?  

Cinnamon – wow!  Donor eggs!  That’s amazing!  So it’s all in April!  I hope all of DP’s work with the snowballs, etc. works!  Jesus, even I couldn’t believe it. The fact that anything can really happen has just floored me.  

Little Small – Thanks for your support.  That’s wonderful your first scan is on Monday.  Good luck honey!  I’m so stoked for you!  Come back next week!

Rumplestiltskin – I know I should do a private scan, but I just don’t want it to give me hope.  There’s nothing they can do if my little miracle really isn’t okay.  On top of that, like I’ve said to Melly, because of my age, I also have to do the full on Downs testing, so that will also be a big factor.  I’m just thinking I should wait and see until 12 weeks, but everything feels fine.

Catf – Wow, 29 weeks!  That’s incredible honey!  Just in July, you had had two ICSIs and now this one stuck.  I just am so happy for you and glad your little one is a wiggler! 

Well, at least this time I can definitely feel that I’m pregnant.  The funny thing is when I was all gearing up for IVF, I was drinking wheatgrass, lots of supplements and vitamins, eating healthy and even the whole acupuncture thing with Chinese herbs.  This time, I was drinking like a fish, smoking cigarettes, having a lot of fatty food on holiday, had a three day bout of food poisoning and this still happens!  Life is a really weird thing.  I’m sorry if I have been radio silent, but I had to take some time to grieve.  I stopped going on websites, I cancelled the second round of IVF and then accepted the fact I wouldn’t have children by December last year.  Then in January, DH and I were talking about adoption and thinking about it, but just before we were going to go, as we were on holiday conceiving, we both talked about it and realised how happy we were with just each other and our fur baby.  That we were okay with just the two of us and our cat.  So, I guess it’s true that it seems to happen when you don’t expect it at all.  

I have been pregnant (which I terminated) when I was 19 and it’s the first time since then that I feel exactly the same.  Had all of the symptoms.  Four days after my period was supposed to arrive, I had two small spots and that was it.  My breasts and mild cramping kept on and are still going and started having extreme fatigue by 4 ½ weeks.  My nausea and dizziness have started with week 5 and it was the same as last time with all day morning sickness.  I can kind of eat, but only little and often.  I'm feeling cautiously optimistic and looking at symptoms, but I'm not really expecting to really celebrate until my downs tests are done and the 12 week scan is finished.


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## MrsLondon

MrsChef- OMG!!!!!!!!! I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy for you. What an amazing story and miracle. You must be over the moon.  I am so so pleased for you.   . I would definitely get an early scan booked to try and ease your mind. What you've been through and had to deal with has been on another level but proves that you just never know what will happen.

I'm at work at the moment but will get back to everyone later. So pleased to read all the positive posts.


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## Ms Gnomer

Gosh, what wonderful news on this thread!  Hi to you all.  I'm just on as I'm cycling again... hopefully going to have some luck this time around, as it's my last.  Lovely to see you're all still on here.


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies, wow! I have missed a lot!!

MrsChef - HUGE congratulations! I am so happy for you and wish you the very best.     It just shows that if it is meant to happen it will, and that doctors don't know everything! Keep us updated and if you plan to have an early scan etc. So exciting being in on this lovely secret  It definitely gives us all hope.

Chavalar - nice to see you back here and brilliant news with your DH's swimmers! Wow that is a big increase!! My DH is using snowballs too and he has been on Fertilisan M for a few months now too. It is looking really positive for April for you 

Stini - nice to see you here and so pleased to hear all is well with your pregnancy. How far along are you now? Do you know whether your having a boy or a girl?

Melly - if you have gone on holiday, I hope you are having a fantastic time. If you are yet to go, have a fantastic time! I hope you manage to get some well earned relaxation before your next cycle 

Mrs London - how are you? We have now been to the Lister open evening and although we did like it and thought the consultant (Raef) was good, we have decided on going to a local clinic because Mr R put it into perspective when we saw him about choosing a clinic based on what suits us i.e. distance as DH will be under his care for the male side of things. Clinics do not tend to focus on male fertility so we need Mr R to focus on that  Unfortunately even the satellite clinics are quite far for us as well, so we think it's best not to have the stress of travelling that we had last time. I'm not surprised you have lost motivation with work, I think I would have too. I hope time isn't dragging too much for you.

Little Small - lovely to see you  How are things going? I hope all is well. Thinking of you and hope all goes well with your scan.

Katfish - any sign of your bleed yet? I hope it has arrived or does soon if it has not already so that you can get started. It will all go quick being on short protocol.  I hope it goes really well for you this time and keeping everything crossed for my previous cycle buddy as everything happened for us at the same time last time.    Which drugs have you been put on for short protocol? Do you choose where to get them from yourself or do you order via the clinic? Keep us updated 

Catf - it is lovely to hear that things are going well for you. You will get to meet your little lady in no time  

Rumple - I'm pleased to hear that everything is going well for you and that you feel able to start buying things. It must be quite scary at first but hopefully you can enjoy it as well. Thank you for the recommendation on Mr R, we did find it useful and I will update below 

Cinnamon - we met with Mr R last Thursday. He is a urologist based in London but he is well-known and very popular for men with infertility. I will update properly below. It is not cheap but hopefully worth it when you look at the costs of IVF itself. I'm very excited for you that things are moving forward with your donor cycle and will keep absolutely everything crossed for you   I hope the snowballs and vitamins etc work well for DP. Mine is doing the same too. What vitamins is yours taking out of interest? Are you going to the same clinic as your last cycle? Would you mind me asking where you are getting the blood test done for NK cells? 

Kirsty - how are things going with your FET? If you are lurking, I hope all is well and do keep us updated. Good luck with testing if it is soon   

Ms Gnomer - you posted just as I was going to post this. How are you? Lovely to see you here. Wishing you the best of luck with your cycle, I hope it goes well    

Hello to everyone else, sorry if I have missed anyone and sorry this is so long lol.

AFM, we saw Mr R in London last Thursday. It all went well and he did seem very nice and knowledgeable. He asked us a few questions and examined DH. As DH had undescended testes he said that the hospital had done a good job of sorting them lol. Anyway he examined him and thinks he may have a varicocele so he has got to have an ultrasound scan. Unfortunately he couldn't have it done on the day due to our appointment being quite late in the day and he needed other tests, so we will have that before our next appointment. He looked at all of DH's tests results that we took with us, and decided not to go too over the top with testing so he chose a few tests for him to have at The Doctors Lab via sperm sample and urine sample. I believe he had a sperm reactive oxidative test amongst other tests (unfortunately we didn't make note of it all). He seemed quite positive that he could improve things for DH and said although it wouldn't be perfect, it would be better. He also seemed surprised that I had never got pregnant naturally with DH as he said men have conceived with DH's numbers and lower (the most he has had is 2.5 mill but it has been from 500,000 up to this), which I found surprising although my cycles are often all over the place too (I don't think naturally is ever likely to happen for us, so not sure why he said this). We're are going back in 3 weeks time for DH to have the ultrasound in Harley Street and then get the results and go to the follow up appointment, so hopefully we will have some more answers then. 

He also put it into perspective about choosing a new clinic too, as he said it doesn't really matter where we go if DH is under his care (as basically they don't focus on male fertility as much) and to choose the one we're happy with so we will probably go with the clinic that is most local to us (OFU). He asked me when I was hoping to cycle again and I said that I was going to wait until we had tried to improve DH's situation. He seemed to think this was the best idea and said we would need around 4 months for any changes. It was also recommended that we have a consultation with the nutritionist, Melanie Brown, but we're still deciding about this.

I am starting to get a bit worried about costs etc, as this isn't cheap but hopefully worth it, but worrying how we'll be able to pay for an IVF cycle and potentially a few cycles if the next one doesn't work   I'm sure we will manage one way or another though as we are saving up. It does all make me anxious though as I'm a worry wort anyway!!

 to all xx


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## Ms Gnomer

Hey, MrsRL!  So lovely to see you.   That's such good news that your husband is seeing someone who may be able to help improve your chances.  My husband's barely involved in this whole process, bless him!  I think he finds it really difficult to see the whole process until he's involved at EC day.  He's so rubbish with needles, that he actually pretends I'm not injecting and runs away if he thinks it might happen!   It amuses me no end! 

Re vitamins: I'm on Pregnacare Conception, extra calcium with Vit D, and a low dose of Q10 (supposedly to help cell generation).  TBH I think that a good, balanced diet would do the trick, though!


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## mrschef04

MrsLondon – Thank you so much for the support.  How have you been?  

MsGnomer – That’s wonderful you are cycling again.  I hope it really goes well!  That’s great with the vitamins and, no doubt with the balanced diet, but it was quite funny because my diet wasn’t balanced and I certainly wasn’t healthy at all.  I was just absolutely relaxed and happy.  It was the best way to do it.

MrsRL – Thanks so much!  Doctors seriously don’t know everything.  That’s funny that your doctor said that.  Four doctors told me the exact same thing, so it goes to show that it isn’t everything.  This whole thing feels like a silly version of that film, This is 40..  My DH and I got silly, partied a little bit (i.e. drinking and a little bit of a “cigarette”), I just relaxed and that was it.  After so many of my doctors saying natural pregnancy wasn’t going to happen!  Lol!

Chavalar – Glad that things are so positive for April.  Fingers crossed that it works out well!


----------



## Catf2008

MrsChef - how are you feeling?

Mrsrl - glad that your looking at new clinics & getting some more testing done 

Kat fish - how are you doing?

Cinnamon - great news that you are getting to cycle again and doing a donor cycle as well which is great, fingers crossed for an increase in the sperm 

How is everyone else doing?

AFM - can't believe I'm going to be 30 weeks on Thursday the time is flying by, we've had a pretty stressful few weeks but hoping that things are starting to change now, only 6 weeks till I leave work


----------



## Katfish

I will reply to other posts soon I'm on nights at the moment about about to go off to my second of three! I just wanted to tell everyone that we are all go! My bleed started while I was working last night at around 3am so got to start injecting gonal f tomorrow evening then start second injection on Saturday morning! We have our first scan booked on Monday morning!

Will do personals soon! Love and wishes to everyone! X X


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## MrsRL

Katfish - how exciting!!    Hope it all goes well  

Catf - wow! 30 weeks!! Time really has flown and you will soon be meeting your baby girl. Does it feel real yet?  sorry to hear that it has been stressful. Hope things improve now. I bet you can't wait to finish work.

MrsChef - hooray to relaxing.  have you decided about getting an early scan or can you wait until 12 weeks? I think I'd have to get an early scan as I'm too much of a worrier and impatient! I need to take a leaf out of your book and learn to relax! Keep positive 

Mrs Gnomer - your post made me laugh with the needles. My DH actually did all of my injections for me on my last cycle and probably will again. I didn't want to do them and it made him feel more part of the process. He struggled with the first one as didn't want to hurt me, bless him, but he soon got used to it. Did you decide to take those vitamins yourself or was it recommended to you? I take the vitamins as I'm worried that I don't get a fully balanced diet due to being unable to have some dairy products due to an intolerance to them, especially milk and cream. It's a shame I can't have milk as I know it's good especially for ttc but it would make me sick. I hope your cycle goes well 

xx


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef things are feeling get I am so excited that I can finally start! I'm exhausted from nights at the moments only one more left then my a/l begins and then GP will sign me off after egg collection! Can't wait for the break! I'm glad that things are going well! I think things happen in funny ways all the time and we can be so strict and things don't pan out or do everything we are not meant to and amazing things happen! I think it's a joke when we have babies who are withdrawing from drugs the mother has taken! They seem to manage to go to term but then our babies who are preterm mums have done so much to keep them in there!!! 
How many weeks would you say you are?!

MsGnomer we are cycle buddies again then! I've not joined any other thread though this time!

MrsRL I will let you know soon which drugs when I finish my nights! I start gonal f this evening!  I got them though the clinic I couldn't be bothered with the worry of ordering them myself! I got quotes from sainsburys and multiple other ones and I think where some things are slightly more costly others are cheaper than stock which the OFU use! I am glad that your appointment went well! Fingers crossed with it all! A shame that the tests couldn't have been done on the same day! But I would deffo recommend OFU!  

CatF glad that the count down to finished work has commenced not long left now! I am good I'm very pleased that I get to start my cycle now!


----------



## Katfish

MrsRL I'm on Gonal f 125iu which will start tonight, on Saturday I start Cetrotide 250mcg which I have to mix. I've been prescribed both Suprecur and Ovitrelle to trigger but will not be told which one I will need to use until closer to the time. Something to do with one being stronger and can cause hormone levels to jump too high. Then I also have Utrogestan Vaginal Capsules which replace the Cylcogest (apparently the new ones are now licensed for it but they have do be done 3times a day how rubbish is that) then also have Progynova tablets don't know what they are yet I think it's for after EC too but don't know anything about them! In total all my meds have cost £1022.59. I think the only thing that would differ would be the Gonal f so depends on how much you need as that's the most expensive bit! I wish I didn't take what was left over last time back to the clinic I had a full 900 pen and a 450 pen!!! So probs £450 worth!!!!


----------



## mrschef04

*Catf* - To be fair, all good. I had to figure out my eating and sleeping right away. I'm literally in bed by 9pm like an old person, reading a book and then falling asleep within the hour. That way, I get about 9 hours of sleep every night. I've also been having waves of morning sickness and nausea all through the day, so I found I have to just snack every two hours instead. We've told our closest friends and my husband's parents, but that's it, as otherwise they will suspect something when I'm not drinking like a fish! Lol! I'm so happy that you're 30 weeks! I was particularly pleased for you, as I knew it was the last try really and because you had the miscarriage as well. How did you get through those first 20 weeks without worrying or freaking out? I'm not worrying because there isn't anything more I can do at the moment except wait, but the waiting is a bit agonising too.

*Katfish* - I'm so happy you get to start cycling again! Good luck honey! I know what you mean! It's funny how things work. Even my parents-in-law are just in shock. We all had given up in our heads, so none of us can really believe it right now. Even my MIL was saying that she'd closed the door on anymore grandchildren, so this is quite funny. I think it gives those two a bit more energy as well and something to look forward to! I'll be six weeks tomorrow! So, another six weeks to go before I can breathe a sigh of relief or feel sad.

*MrsRL* - I know what you mean, but I'm getting every pregnancy symptom under the sun and in full force, so I think that's how I'm finding my comfort with it. At the moment, it still doesn't seem real or that it's happening, even with all of the physical signs. I'm a bit scared that if I get an early scan, I'll get too excited or have too much hope, so I'm just waiting until I'm at the end of the line for it, when it's pretty much for sure and then I'll breathe a sigh of relief. I just see so many possible cases of downs syndrome or of a miscarriage up to 20 weeks, so I'm just waiting. I'll be pretty confident and will celebrate once I'm into my second trimester. The way I'm keeping calm is just making sure I'm allowed to sleep loads, eating frequently and healthily and putting in my exercise. It all seems to help.

*AFM *- I just don't know how to feel yet. For some reason, it all just feels right. My body just seemed to accept everything with open arms and all of a sudden it woke up and started functioning properly. I'm worried about the possible surprises (miscarriage or downs), but I actually feel okay. Everything seems to be taking its proper course. I'm going to be doing a lot of meditation and yoga on the weekends now as well, so hopefully that will help with any niggling worries, but I can't say that I am really worried. It's really weird. I'm the biggest worrier in the world. Big hugs to everyone else out there and a big hello!!!


----------



## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

Going to attempt to do personals on my phone as I'm at a dance competition for school today so I have some time on my hands whilst we wait for our turn to rehearse on the stage.

Chavalar- nice  to hear from you  really hope this cycle is the one for you and that the snowballs have helped. Keep us posted  

Stini - great to hear that all is well with your pregnancy. Do you know if youre having a boy or a girl? I'm team pink  hope the next 9 or so weeks go smoothly for you.

Rumplestiltskin- you must be on your final work countdown now. How are you feeling? I feel huge!!! I've had bad heartburn but other than that waddling along fine. I've started NCT too only had one session so will see how it pans out. I have mixed feelings about it but we shall see.

Melly - hope you enjoy your holiday and it's just what you need before you start cycling again  

Catf - I measured a week ahead too, but only through bump measurement, haven't had any further scans since 20weeks! My girlie isn't really too much of a mover and shaker but it might have to do with my anterior placenta which can cushion some of the kicks. We're almost at the 10week count down 😁.

Cinnamon!!! - lovely to here from you. Bump is evening out, was only a week ahead at my last appointment. I was 6lbs so wasn't big at all. Really hope your efforts with DH's sperm have worked too. April will be here before you know it. Can't wait to hear updates from you. How's your work situation now? Are you still not working? I'm almost at the 10 week countdown. Can't believe it. Looking forward to meeting my little girl.

Katfish and MrsGnomer - good luck with your cycles. Keep us posted and I'm keeping everything crossed for you both.  

MrsRL- sounds like you have a good plan in place, had it not been the summer holidays, lister would have been too difficult for us too. It does make a massive difference you're right. So who have you chosen to cycle with then?? When will you start?

AFM - I'm just one/two days shy from being 30 weeks! I can't believe it, it's a bit overwhelming at times but I'm doing fine. Started NCT which I haven't decided whether I like or not yet. Bump measured a week ahead at last appointment which could mean the baby is big but could also mean a range of other things. I don't have gestational diabetes which is awesome so I'm one step closer to being able to give birth in the birthing centre. Ummm i think that's all with me...still have heartburn...bit of water retention, have had to take my wedding rings off. Still haven't bought anything for the baby as still scared to jinx it. Ill wait until the Easter holidays.
I'm working until my due date so still have 10 weeks to go 😱.

MrsChef- have you decided whether you will have an early scan?? Still buzzing for you. Proof that there is hope out there.

My battery is on 6% so I better sign off, apologies to anyone I've missed.

Love and luck to you all. Xxx


----------



## mrschef04

MrsLondon - I'm so pleased for you!!! 30 weeks!  How awesome that must be!  I hope I can make it to 20 weeks and then I know I'll be so relieved!  I'm not going to get an early scan.  I still just don't want to do it.  I think it could give me false hope.  I know I would see a heart beat and then get all excited and happy and then if it has downs or I miscarry, I'll be even more devastated than I would be now.  It would tear my DH apart for him to see me this way.  So I'm doing what I used to do when I was a competitive athlete for years and years - I've got myself into a basic routine with plenty of food and plenty of rest and I'm just slightly robotic about the pregnancy thing.  I'm just taking it one day at a time.  I have 41 days until my 12-week mark, so I'm just keeping myself as busy as possible until then.


----------



## Ms Gnomer

Hi guys! Just quickly popping in, as I'm between appointments, so apologies for the lack of personals to everyone. It's so lovely to find you all here still, that I think I'll be staying here no matter what the outcome of this cycle! 

*MrsRL* I'm taking the Q10 on the recommendation of a fellow FF member, but had read that it's good for us all anyway, for cell regeneration as we get older. Figured it can't hurt! EVERYONE recommends the Pregnancare though.

*Katfish* great news that we're cycle buddies again! Thinking of you and wishing you the very best of luck and health for this cycle. 

*Mrschef* that's such awesome news! I'm one that needs to hide from my friends during this process, too! I'm not a smoker, but I do like my beer/wine/gin/"fizzy pop"! This leads me onto myself....

AFM I've just had my second tracking scan and all's looking really good. Amazing, actually! For the first time, everything got really calm for baseline and I have NO runaway follies making my life hard. I've literally just got to the stage where my jeans don't fit, but I've also got more follicles than I've ever had before and they're all the same size! I actually had to have a 3D scan of my right ovary, as there were too many to count and/or measure otherwise... eight at the 12-16mm mark! I didn't know they even had the 3D thing on it, as I've never had such a lovely cluster where they're all the same size or thereabouts. Long story short: I was sent home with Ovitrelle and told that when they've done my bloodwork to check the estradiol, they'll give me a call and let me know if I'm triggering tonight for EC on Friday, or Saturday night for EC on Monday. I actually really hope that it's at a good level to do it tonight, as that'll give me an opportunity for a last-gasp beer on Saturday whilst watching the rugby, as it'll be on a drug and egg free night, but Monday would also be good as one of my friends from here who is also at my clinic is probably going to have EC on Monday, so it'd be lovely to do it together!  Whatever it is: I hope that the clinic choose what's best for us and not most convenient for them!

Re what you've said *Mrschef*, I have to admit that this brilliantly flowing cycle has been the one where I've kept forgetting to inject until late and things like that, as it's the first time it's been completely stress free. It's definitely making me feel a lot more positive and I do think it's ironic that not being so strict with myself has seemingly made it work better. Stress definitely has a lot to answer for!


----------



## mrschef04

*Mrs Gnomer* - Good luck honey! That sounds like a really promising cycle! Jesus, I miss the drinking too! So, this kind of cut everything short! I have tickets to Glastonbury and Bestival this year, where I might be 5 months and 7 1/2 months pregnant! Lol! Good luck with the trigger shot. I really wish you so much luck with the egg collection honey!    

It was the downregging that really stressed me out and made me really depressed during IVF. I don't think I could ever bear that again. I know what you mean about the stress. I've been through the wringer for a while, so now I'm just thinking - okay, let's see what happens. I feel good, I'm in the right place and my job is permanent and solid with two fantastic managers. So I think it's a lot better this time around. Plus, my DH is all-hands on deck. Literally, once I told him, I catch him looking at me for a long time and he says, "It's because he's just loving me a whole lot." It feels really good right now. I feel loved and supported and, whatever happens, at least I know it can happen for me too.


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## Ms Gnomer

Oh wow, that sounds so brilliant!  Your DH sounds like he's definitely a keeper!   

I had a call this afternoon... triggering at 23.30 tonight.  Looks like I'll be able to have a beer at the rugby on Saturday!   Obviously I won't go mad, but it does feel nice to have a day off on a day when I can actually enjoy it with my husband and friends.


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## Catf2008

Mrsrl - nope it still doesn't feel real, even when she is kicking me at 4am lol

Ms gnomer - yay for triggering tonight, good luck with it 

Mrs chef - if I'm honest I struggled for the first 20 weeks my morning sickness was so bad I ended up i ended up on medication for it  but it did go away and once I started feeling movements i soon forgot how ill I was. Yep I totally understand the being tired, I'm still like it now poor hubby has no one to talk to most nights after 9:30 lol

Mrslondon - my bump was actually measuring 2 weeks ahead but my scan showed she was measuring about a week ahead so hoping she arrives a week or two early and doesn't way 8lb lol. I can't believe you are working right up to your due date


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## Ms Gnomer

*Catf* I really hope that your pregnancy goes nice and smoothly from now on, and that she doesn't get too huge! It must be so amazing to feel your baby kick.


----------



## MrsRL

Morning Ladies,

Katfish - how did your first injection go? I hope all went well. I was on similar drugs for my cycle, I had gonal f (225 iu), cetrotide and ovitrelle. I then had cyclogest pessaries. I hope I don't have to have the new ones because sorry if TMI but I would struggle to use the front end. I often have reactions to thinks that and when I tried cyclogest 'that way' I had burning and irritation. That's a shame that you were not allowed to keep the drugs, that would have saved you some money!! I still have loads of cyclogest It left over because my clinic gave me loads. I don't blame you for not wanting the hassle of going elsewhere for the drugs. It's good to hear that you would recommend OFU   Will you join another cycle buddies thread as well or just stay here? 

MrsChef - I hope your pregnancy symptoms continue so that it can reassure you, and that you can stay calm. It sounds like you have a good routine going and hopefully it will help you to keep sane until your scan. It's lovely to hear that you have a good stable job and managers, hopefully this is it for you  It's interesting that you mention the downregging stage being the worst part of IVF for you, I did short protocol so didn't have this. I hope it's not too awful if I have to do long protocol at the new clinic. It sounds like your DH is definitely a keeper  

MrsLondon - we have decided to cycle with Oxford (OFU) as it is the closest one to us and had good facilities. We liked it when we attended the open day, but weren't sure because I had heard that they aren't great for male factor. As DH is now under the care of Mr R (urologist), it doesn't really matter where we go for his side of things, so he said to go with the one we feel comfortable with etc. We won't start for at least 4 months as that is roughly how long we will need to improve DH's situation. We have things planned in the meantime though as going away for my 30th etc, so lots to keep us occupied   Wow 30 weeks, how exciting  I can't believe you are working right up to your due date though, I hope you cope ok with doing that. Don't work yourself too hard  I can understand not wanting to buy anything, I would probably be the same. I hope you feel able to soon 

Ms Gnomer - how exciting that you have now triggered  Enjoy your beer on Saturday and I hope EC goes well. It sounds like a very positive cycle for you anyway, so keeping everything crossed   I take pregnacare conception as well as Coq10, vitamin D spray, Vital DHA (fish oils) and spirulina. Hopefully it will help, as I only took pregnacare on my first cycle. Let us know how EC goes 

Catf - how lovely it must be to feel her kicking you  I hope the rest of time goes nice and quickly for you with no issues 

Hello to everyone else  

AFM - not much to report really. I am hoping to fill in the forms for the clinic later to get us on the system ready for starting once DH has hopefully improved things with Mr R. I think we might as well get our details on their system. I am looking at doing egg share for the next cycle as well, so will need several tests etc. Take care ladies xx


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## mrschef04

Ms Gnomer - That's great news. To be fair, have more than just one beer. Obviously, don't go black out mad, but let your hair down and relax a bit. As we've agreed, it's probably best that you are relaxed and chilled out. 
*Catf *- Lol! That's so true! My husband was watching a funny cat video and he actually woke me up to share it with me for a laugh! Hahahaha! Men just don't realise how much they love having us around! The morning sickness is now controllable for me. If I eat every two hours, I'm doing just fine.

*MrsRL* - Yes, I was on short protocol as well, but I didn't start adding Menopur until 5 days later. The Buserelin was terrible. Keep us posted on how you're doing!

*MrsLondon* - That's great. I am going to work up to my due date too. The more that I work and keep myself busy, the happier I am.

*AFM* - not too much. Now that I'm controlling the morning sickness, I have a lot more energy, but I do feel like a pig snacking every two hours. It does feel good that I can exercise through this. It's just a boring waiting game now, but haven't had any worries through it. No bleeding or pain. Still tired, a touch of insomnia, mild cramping and morning sickness. Six weeks today, so another six weeks to go!


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef thank you very much! It is very funny how the world works! 6wks wow! Just think like you said 42days in the reality of it that's not long! I'm glad too that it's feeling right too! 

MrsLondon 6% battery I would be having heart palpitations!! Lol! Wow 30wks! I know someone with triplets she was measuring 48wks if she had a singleton at 29wks!!!!! Fingers crossed you can have little one at a birthing centre! 

MsGnomer I'm glad your cycle is going so well! Wow 3D scan too! How many follicles do you have?! Glad you get to have your rugby beer!! 

MrsRL it went very well thank you! Was a bit nervous to do it! Just needed to get back into it! Dreading the morning ones because it's a larger volume to inject! If your at OFU you will get the new ones! They are half the size of Cyclogest and come with an applicator too! Though I'm sure you can talk to the clinic these are more like the thrush treatment ones! I still have one box of the Cyclogest left too! I could have kept them but didn't really realise and thinking about it I think you can only keep them in the fridge for 3months after you receive them as the environment isn't as controlled in a home fridge! I plan at the moment to just stay on here I feel that I have a lot more support this time from the DH and he isn't going off anywhere during the cycle this time either! I will say you have to have the hot chocolate from OFU it's yummy!! (Little things hey) deffo a good idea to get the paperwork flowing!  

AFM - finally finished my nights this morning! After the usual road rage from the horrible road works all around oxford I have to get through I am finally on A/L! My hands look like the belong to someone twice my age which is a sure sign of needing a good break! Now to wait until my scan Monday and keep injecting until then!


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## Ms Gnomer

Hey guys! Just quickly popping in, as we've just had dinner and are relaxing with a bit of dinner before getting a good night's sleep. I've had a very busy day today, so am tired, but have now got pretty much everything done, so can relax during my 2WW. That's except for a massively blocked drain, which I'll probably clear when I get back tomorrow afternoon, as our en suite is currently out of action! Nightmare really... the whole thing's backed up with washing machine water, dishwasher waste, etc, but I have no idea where the blockage is... all I know is that it's around a bend, as my drain rods wouldn't go around the bend. The joys of being an independent woman, who managed to get home for her lunch break! 

TBH I'll probably sack it off for an extra day, as I've offered to help with a fun photoshoot of my friend's puppies before they go to their new families. I've got a reasonable camera, so thought it would probably take better photos than the iPad (although maybe not!). They're farm dogs, so we're going to use bales of straw to try to hem the little monkies in. There are 13 of them and they're 6.5 weeks old, so it's sure to be carnage! 

Anyway, I'm fully proteined up and ready for the big day tomorrow. Fingers crossed for mature eggs, as I will be really disappointed if they're not. I have a cluster of eight of the same size, all around the right ovary, so hopefully they'll have all come good by tomorrow at 11.30. 

*Katfish*: I didn't realise that Cyclogest need to be refrigerated. I'm sure I wasn't told to do that. I did have an issue with an exploded one at the Olympic hockey ground, at the European Championships, though, last summer!

*mrschef*: I have no plans to go wild. The boys are coming round, so I'll probably designate myself as driver... that way, I can legitimately only have one or two drinks without anyone querying it, and can have my glass of really good desert wine with cru cheese for supper!


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## Katfish

MsGnomer no I mean that the gonal f I had left over I think you can only keep that in your fridge at home for 3months. I can't remember where I read that though. The Cycloget doesn't need to stay in the fridge no! Couldn't imagine putting a cold one up there! Haha! Good luck for tomorrow! God everything crossed for you!


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## Ms Gnomer

OOHHHHH!  That makes more sense.  I was properly confused for a minute!   Yeah, Gonal-F doesn't last long at all, especially when it's been opened.  I don't even want to think about icy cold Cyclogest... that would feel so freaky!


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## MrsRL

Ms Gnomer - GOOD LUCK for EC today. Wishing you the very best and hope it goes really well     What a nightmare with the blocked drains. We recently had a similar issue and it was someone a few houses down causing the issue. My DH ended up rodding the drains and managed to sort it, touch wood. It sounds like you will be busy anyway, but don't push yourself too hard after EC. The puppies sound cute but that will be hard work getting them all where you want them for the photoshoot I bet. Keep us updated on EC 

Katfish - Good news that your first injection went ok. Which ones do you have to do in the morning then? I did all of mine in the evening last time. I would have to ask them about the pessaries if I do go to OFU as I can see it causing issues for me. Did you say they are to be done 3 times a day as well? Sounds interesting especially if working lol as don't you have to lie down for a bit? I can normally come home for lunch, but what a way to spend it lol. It won't be for a while for me yet though. I think it would be hard to find cycle buddies as lovely as us    Everyone on here is just so supportive  That is good news that you also have DH for the whole time this time. I really hope this is it for you    I don't have hot chocolate but will have to tell DH as he would like it. Are drinks like that all included? Sounds like a step up from the water machine at my old clinic     I started filling in the forms for OFU last night. I am sure they will make me re-do some bloods as some of them were probably too long ago. I will not be asking the GP after my experience with her last time being resistant even on a NHS cycle so can just see what she will say for a private one. I will just have to pay at OFU 

MrsChef - it sounds like you were on totally different meds to me then during your cycle as I was on gonal f and cetrotide. I didn't have too many issues with them but did suffer with emotions quite a bit   So glad to hear you are controlling the sickness, whatever helps is worth doing to avoid it  wow 6 weeks, the next 6 weeks will hopefully fly by 

Hello to everyone else xx


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## Katfish

MsGnomer haha that's ok! It wouldn't be nice at all if it was cold! Let us know how today goes!

MrsRL it's the Ceteotide I do in the mornings! Maybe just so you don't have to do both of them at the same time! The Gonal F is only evening as they can make changes after scans if they need to! Yes I believe it's 3 times a day! I'm not sure how I'm going to make it work doing them three times a day! I didn't lie down with the Cyclogest so I'm sure that the lying down wouldn't matter! I'll tell you more when I find out about it! Exactly I'm sticking with you guys! Yes there is a tea, coffee and hot chocolate machine that's included and a water machine too! 

AFM - I don't know if it's just my stomach muscles that hurt as I have lost 2stone more since my last cycle a whopping 4st in total but laying on my tummy and doing some things are feeling a tad uncomfortable! Hopefully it's just that I'm injecting more into muscle than fat I'm not sure but only done two injections so far! X x


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## mrschef04

Mrs Gnomer – Good luck darling!  Remember, as we all say, quality, not quantity!  I have fingers and toes crossed!  Yea, I reckon you should just clear the drain, but if it’s on a bend, you may have to use that chemical stuff.

Katfish – I hope the scan on Monday is great!  Get some rest on the weekend!  You’ll need it!  This stuff sure does take it out of you!


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## Ms Gnomer

I've actually barely made a mark with the needles this time, but was really bruised back in December. I don't think I've done anything different, so suspect it depends on all sorts of factors. 

Currently in the waiting room, with no idea when I'll be going downstairs for prep. They're always running late!


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## mrschef04

Fingers crossed, Ms Gnomer.  Breathe and chill and then you can have those beers.  Though, for me, it would be three straight up margaritas!  Lol!


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## Ms Gnomer

Hahaha! It's all gone well so far. I've got seven eggs... fingers crossed they're all mature!


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## mrschef04

That's wonderful news, Ms Gnomer!  Congratulations honey!  Perfect!  Enjoy that beer and the weekend!  xx


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## Katfish

MrsChef I will deffo be doing some Relaxing DH wants to go into town and have a wonder around (not shopping 🙁) then do a couple of bits and bobs on Sunday! It certainly does take it out of you! I had my nails done today which was a nice time to relax! 

MsGnomer wow 7 that's great got everything crossed for your phone call tomorrow!


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## Ms Gnomer

Thank you both!  Feeling really positive at the moment... long may that continue!


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## mrschef04

Hi everyone, Looks like I may be out.. I started spotting with heavier cramping at 1am this morning. I'm booked into an emergency scan on Monday morning, but I'm not holding out hope. Had a little cry with Mr Chef this morning and just trying to go on as usual this weekend until then. There's not much I can do and there is no point in feeling depressed and sad. I've been through a lot worse, so if this all ends on Monday, it just means I'm partying at Glastonbury this year. A bit of a bummer, but what can you do eh? 

Ms Gnomer- keep thinking positive darling! I'm so pleased for you!

A hello and lots of big hugs to everyone!!! xxx


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## Katfish

MrsChef I'm really sorry to hear that you are spotting I was devastated for you when I read your post! Could you maybe do a pregnancy test and see what that says?! X x


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## Catf2008

Oh no mrschef, how is it today


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## Katfish

MrsChef I've been thinking of you all weekend! I have everything crossed for your scan tomorrow! X X X


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## cinnamon75

Just popped on and wanted to wish *MrsChef* good luck for tomorrow, bleeding doesn't always mean bad news, this last two weeks there have been two ladies on the Gennet thread who have both had really bad bleeding and have both been happy to report at their scan at the EPU, the baby has been absolutely fine. Wishing you all the best for tomorow.

*MrsGnomer* congratulations on your eggs!! How did you get on with those 7 eggs? Fingers crossed you have some great little embies xxx


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## mrschef04

Thank you all... I've never gotten this far before, so I hope it's all ok. It's only been brown spotting, but only when I wipe and very light. It lasted for about 10 hours yesterday and then only once or twice today.. The cramping has increased and today it was ongoing. I'm not sure if it's good or bad, so I hope to find out tomorrow. Could this mean it's ectopic? Anyone have this?


----------



## cinnamon75

*MrsChef* I had spotting and cramping but my spotting got worse and much redder over a day or two. When I was scanned at the EPU at 7.5wks they told me I had a pregnancy of unknown location as they couldn't find a sac anywhere but my HCG was still 4/500ish. It naturally lowered over the next few days and I had one day of severe cramps when I miscarried. The next day my Beta was down to 20. I'm telling you this in case you go through something similar but honestly, brown spotting means nothing and you are still very likely to get good news tomorrow, it's not always bad so please don't think the dream is over just yet. Try rest and keep your feet up if possible xxx


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef im glad that the spotting hasn't got any heavier and fingers crossed you hear a perfect little heart beat or at least a healthy growing sack in yours scan tomorrow! Thinking of you! Is your scan a private one or are you getting it through the NHS? X x


----------



## Katfish

Thinking of you both MrsChef and MsGnomer!

Today I had my first scan it was an early scan day 7. I've got about 50 follicles there still! I think it was 5 on each side at 12mm then quite a few I think where 9mm I think 18 one side and 16 the other. I can't remember the numbers exactly as the lady was very vague about it all! Gotta wait and see what my bloods come back as now! I have another scan booked on Wednesday and another on Friday! I think all looking very positive at the moment still.


----------



## mrschef04

Thanks so much gals... After the runaround at the hospital today and I felt so guilty having to take a day off work (I hate being late or calling in sick to anything.  I pride myself on being reliable and that people can count on me), I got tested and a scan.  It was so beautiful.. The first time I've seen a heartbeat of my own baby.  They said it was very strong and healthy, perfectly positioned, no areas of bleeding, perfect size and the right growth for my timeline.  EDD 23/10/16... Thanks for all of your support.  A big relief to me and I'm just so pleased and happy... 

Katfish - wow!  That's a lot of follicles!  What's good you have quite a few scans.  I think that's really positive.

Catf and Cinnamon - thank you for your kind words.  I really appreciate it. 

A big hello to everyone out there! xxx


----------



## Catf2008

Mrschef that is amazing, I'm so happy for you xx


----------



## Ms Gnomer

Oh my goodness *MrsChef* I'm so relieved and happy for you! What lovely news after such a scary weekend.

I thought I'd pop in and update you all on how I got on this weekend, now that I've finally got my stupid tablet charged up! Of the 7 eggs, 5 were mature and 3 fertilised, so I went in today and had a 3dt... officially PUPO again!  I had two clear leaders in the embro growing race, as the third was only a 3-celler so far, so I had two 5-cell embryos put back this morning... it was amazingly clear on the ultrasound machine, and I actually saw them go in, which was awesome! One was graded 5-4-4 and the other 5-3-4, so we're thrilled with both; especially as the grading of 3 on the second one for clarity was borderline 4 and the morphology of both was fantastic in the images they showed us. I can't help but feel positive this time around, as it's all seemed to flow much better than any other cycle. We've already taken the decision that we'll do a private round at another clinic later in the year if this doesn't work, but actually we both think it will!

Anyway, much love to all. xxx


----------



## mrschef04

Oh *Ms Gnomer*! I'm so pleased for you!!! That's excellent you had a few to choose from and also that you got two perfect embryos put back in!!! I have to say... One of these days in the next year, we should all come together for drinks in London or something. It would be really something! Best of luck and rest up well!


----------



## Catf2008

Ms gnomer- that's great news, I have everything crossed for you 

Mrschef- that would be a great idea x


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef I popped on earlier and saw your post but not had the chance to reply until now! You can't believe just how happy I am for you! I was telling the DH about it all and said I was feeling very sad for you yesterday and Saturday and felt like I was looking every two seconds for an update. I am hoping that your 12week scan will be just as amazing as this one was! Thank you I know so many follicles I'm feeling very bloated right now but that may be the baked beans I had for lunch too! I think drinks is a fantastic idea!

MsGnomer good to hear from you. That's fab news I really hope that this is your time and you will not have to worry about having another cycle! When's your test date? 

AFM - feeling a bit bloated today and uncomfortable the DH has been pushing water down me to get my fluid intake to 3l feels like a chore to get that much water drunk but I have done it! Gotta feed those 50 follies somehow!! Was thinking after the scan that I was a bit annoyed with the lady who scanned me because she said about me having PCOS however when I asked her if this was confirmed how with the bloods because I didn't think it had been she just said to me that you couldn't tell with the bloods! I was certain that you can though the bloods. So I'm going to ask again on Wednesday.


----------



## MrsRL

MrsChef - congratulations! Sorry to hear that you had such a worry and so pleased to hear all is well for you. I hope that things go really well from now on and that your 12 week scan is just as good. It must have been lovely seeing a heartbeat 

Ms Gnomer - congratulations on being PUPO  it sounds like a very positive cycle and I am keeping everything crossed for you. I hope the 2ww doesn't drag on too long. Are you off the whole time or working? 

Katfish - wow that's a really good amount of follicles, it all sounds very positive  sorry to hear you had a bad experience with the nurse though, I hate it when they say things like that and don't give you more information. I hope you get to the bottom of it on Wednesday, are you likely to see the same nurse or a different one? Glad to see you have been relaxing and having your nails done etc, I love your nails btw, very cool  keep up the water intake, you will be glad of it. It is hard though! 

How is everyone else? Hello to you all and if you are lurking, I hope you are ok. 

AFM - I have now submitted the initial forms to the clinic and I'm waiting to hear back about the next steps. We have another appointment with Mr R for DH a week on Friday and will hopefully find out more information then and the next steps.

Take care everyone xx


----------



## Catf2008

Hello all 

Mrsrl - that's great news that you have submitted the forms 

Katfish - sorry you are feeling bloated  hopefully all the extra water will help you

To everyone else, how you are ok 

Afm - I'm struggling at the moment, feel tired all the time and my hips are always hurting, really struggling with work and the 8th of April can't hurry up enough so I can rest up a bit, I keep forgetting I'm pregnant (hard to believe with the size of my bump) and carry on as normal and the  wormer why I'm in so much pain the next day


----------



## Katfish

Catf I'm still feeling quite bloated I find it's worse in the evening! But just gotta keep drinking not for the bloating but the unit want you to be drinking 3l at least of water a day to help with filling the follicles basically! I've managed it today again! Had a litre this am and then 5pints of water ontop of that so well over the 3L today. Only issue with drinking so much is that I am non-stop weeing all the time! Sorry that you are having hip issues will all be worth it in the end though! 8th April isn't that long away hopefully it will fly by for you!  then you can get nesting!


----------



## Katfish

MrsRL sorry your message didn't come up for me just spotted after last post! Yeh it was very annoying, but it's very rare that you see the same person again so that's a positive!  thanks I'm loving them too! One ladybird had a bit of an accident with the razor while shaving my legs before the scan! But I am still loving them! Glad all the forms are submitted and you can start to feel like something a bit more is happening now! When I was at OFU yesterday they are now teaming up with access fertility and doing a 3 full cycle, unlimited frozen cycles including embryo freezing and storage for a year with 70% refund if you don't end up with a baby! Looks quite good! Worth looking it up!


----------



## Ms Gnomer

Wow, I've never heard of OFU, but that sounds amazing. Most clinics seem to have some form of money-back deal nowadays, but that's the best I've heard about!

Well done on getting all of that water inside you, *Katfish*. I always find it amazing that I could pack it away happily if it was a decent ale on a good night out, but 6+ pints of water seems like so much during the day!  I'm still drinking lots now, after transfer, so I'm not sure when the thirst will subside. Is it tomorrow morning that you're in for your scan? Good luck for it!

*MrsRL*: I'm mostly at home this week. It helped that I had EC so much earlier than expected, as I'd had it penciled in for Wednesday or even Friday this week, so I'd cleared my diary for generally being swollen and sore. It did mean that work last week was a bit more stressful than I'd have liked, but things are quiet this week, then we're going on holiday on 11th. OTD is on 13th, so who knows whether it'll be a lovely, relaxing, feet up holiday with virgin mojitos, or a mental scuba-diving and zip-lining one if things don't work out! I can do the latter another time, so I REALLY hope it's the former!


----------



## Katfish

MsGnomer Oxford Fertility Unit is very nice and there hot chocolate is rather yummy! I can send you the info about it if you wish! Thanks I got home and the DH said have some squash I was like no I'm having Coke now I've drunk way over 3l and I allow myself one glass of Coke a day  that's my only caffeine intake! Yeh it's not easy 6pints of water but you have to go for it! I better see lots of growth on those follies!! Yep another scan tomorrow at 8am bright and early!! Are you going anywhere nice for your holiday? Another day closer till OTD!!


----------



## Katfish

http://www.accessfertility.co.uk/partner-clinics/oxford-fertility-clinic/

Here is the link to the info about the money back guarantee


----------



## Ms Gnomer

Thank you!   We're off to St Lucia for some R&R, as we got a cheap deal with BA holidays.  Seemed like an excellent excuse to chase the sunshine!


----------



## Katfish

MsGnomer ah sounds lovely enjoy! Are you not going to have to stay away from the pool though? I was told not allowed to have a bath or go swimming before the OTD last time!


----------



## MrsRL

Morning ladies 

Katfish - Good luck for your scan today, hope you get a nicer nurse! Let us know how you get on  Did you go somewhere to get your nails done? I like patterned nails, mine are terrible at the moment so I really need to paint them  Thank you so much for sharing that OFU are now taking part in that payment scheme. We were interested in that at other clinics but they were a bit too far away so it's good to know that they now offer it  Are you off for the whole time while your cycling?

Catf - sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment. 8th April will soon be here and then you can rest up and start nesting as Katfish said 

Ms Gnomer - your holiday sounds lovely and hopefully you can get some well-earned r&r  I hope it is the first scenario and you can put your feet up etc 

Hello to everyone else!

xx


----------



## Katfish

MrsRL morning! The scan was ok felt a little disheartened as not that much change and they are thinking EC will not be until late next week! So not sure what's going to happen with work because I'm due back on Wednesday. I feel that it's not a good idea to work because after doing some babysitting yesterday my stomach are killing me again today! Plus there's no way I will get the 3l of water in me at work! We will see! Yes I went to a lady in Witney I don't know how far away that is for you but I would deffo recommend! I'm not off the whole cycle my GP will sign me off two weeks post EC so I will be back a few days pre OTD


----------



## MrsRL

Hi Katfish,

Glad the scan went well but sorry you feel disheartened  I hope things catch up for you at the next scan. Have you told work about the IVF or are you keeping it quiet? It doesn't sound like a good idea to work especially if your job means you being on your feet all day. Witney is a bit far for me but she sounds good  it sounds like you have a good gp signing you off. I doubt mine would! I have received paperwork and an appointment from ofu today. They are asking for my FSH bloods to be within 6 months. Mine are nowhere near that and not sure if the gp would do them for me. Can you have it done at ofu if not? I think I will have to contact them about it. 

xx


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## mrschef04

Hi Katfish - don't feel too bad, honey.  Sometimes it takes a few moments for the body to kick in and then it can go all crazy.  That's great that you are being signed off from work.  I'm glad you'll get time to rest up. xxx

Catf - I'm sorry you're so uncomfortable.  Have you got your big fat maternity pillow and stuff to help?  Have you been exercising through your pregnancy?  Maybe some expensive pregnancy yoga will do the thing or perhaps a massage?

MsGnomer - glad you have a holiday planned.  To be honest, my DH and I could use one again soon.  I'm glad you're having a great attitude towards it all.  I really really hope that this is it for you.  Wouldn't it be wonderful to be almost on the same timeline?

AFM - Morning sickness overtime today... I keep adding to the list of things I can't eat - no bell peppers, lamb, heavy gravy, no fish at all (blergh), full English breakfast (friend had it and it made me want to throw up all over him)...  My boobs are so big, even my hubby said it looks like I got breast implants done!  Lol!  Does anyone know when you should buy any pregnancy stuff?  My bras don't fit anymore and my tights are beginning to get too small.


----------



## Katfish

MrsRL yes I'm really hoping so! On reflection this should have only been the first scan at 9days but I had an early one at 7days which was Monday's scan! The matron at work is aware that's all! Glad paper work has arrived! Ah I had mine done by my GP he was happy to process the bloods that I needed for the treatment! But you can get it done at the clinic for a cost! No point in doing it until you know when your starting exactly! 

MrsChef thank you I'm really hoping so at the moment anyway! As I said to MrsRL I have thought since the scan that really that's only technically meant to be the first one anyway so really would have been fast maybe if the collection was the beginning of the week! Yes my GP is amazing he's so lovely and understanding! Haha! Poor you!  I think you just have to buy it as you need it really!


----------



## Catf2008

Katfish - don't worry to much they told me on my second cycle they would probably look to egg collect on the Friday of the second week and I actually ended up having egg collection on the Tuesday so 3 days earlier than they said.

Mrschef - I'm looking into yoga classes to see if they will help, my problem is I usually sleep on my front so now having to sleep on my side and the extra weight is what is causing the pain in my hips but only 9 more weeks and hopefully I'll be back on my front. With regards to pregnancy clothes by my 7th week I has to buy bigger bras as I had no option my normal ones hurt to much and I was in maternity trousers by week 14 but I wish I had gone into them earlier as my trousers really hurt by about week 11


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## Ms Gnomer

Just the progesterone makes me have ridiculous norks, so goodness only knows how you guys feel! 

My OTD is only two days after I get to Saint Lucia, but I was told I only needed to avoid swimming for a week after EC and that it should be fine afterwards, as you should have healed.  It'll be two clear weeks since EC, but although I'm technically "allowed", I'll probably hold off for the first few days.  I'll definitely not be in too much sun or sitting in a jacuzzi though!


----------



## Ms Gnomer

Katfish, I meant to say that I'm sorry that it's not happened as fast as you'd hoped.  I've not had a single cycle that's followed the timeline I was given, so I think it's probably par for the course unfortunately.  I'm glad your doctor's at least being helpful. 

I meant to say, too, that our other embryo had arrested. Thank goodness that we had two good'uns to put back on board.  Hopefully they're snuggling in right now, because the should be hatching blastocysts right about now. Keeping everything crossed!


----------



## Katfish

Catf thank you! Hopefully will not be too late! I'm really getting fed up with all the injecting because they are stinging I think from being bloated! 

MsGnomer it's funny lots of clinics say very different things! Like not to shower with anything that's perfumed before EC and ET I was never told anything like that! I hope that you enjoy your holiday! Will you have access to Internet to let us know?! We will be waiting on your result by tender hooks! I think the fact that my last cycle did follow the time line but again in a way this is following I would guess to so far! I've got enough drugs up until Sunday evening! I have enough Gonal F for Monday night but the Cetrotide I only have 4 more! So the clinic will have to provide me with more if they want me to go longer! Fingers crossed those blasts are nuzzling right in there!

AFM - found out a bit more about the PCOS basically no the bloods don't show I have PCOS however I do have PCO just not the syndrome. They say PCO because of the follicular count. I do think it's a little funny because I did joke with my DH after the first cycle and before that I would probs end up with PCOS all of this stress with my AMH and original AFC!


----------



## mrschef04

Katfish - That's weird.  How does one get PCOS or PCO?  

Ms Gnomer - that's good news.  I think you've had a great and solid cycle and I'm just happy you had a bit to choose from, so that's fantastic stuff!

AFM - I'm exhausted... I haven't been able to get to the gym the last few days, except for one hour of dance class after work.  It's making me feel like some vessel that can't do anything.  Catf, do you know when this exhaustion will finish soon?  I'm not being ungrateful, but I'm happy to have a baby, but I kind of always knew I wouldn't enjoy the pregnancy itself.


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef I'm pretty sure that your just born with it. They mentioned my age hence why I'm presenting with PCO. Hopefully your exhaustion finishes soon! I'm feeling exhausted and I've not even finished treatment!


----------



## Catf2008

Mrschef - it's supposed to get better in your second trimester so around 13/14 weeks however I will be honest, I've been exhausted the whole way through


----------



## Ms Gnomer

Hello lovely ladies!  Crikey, this cycle is taking is toll on my poor abdomen and also my ability to sleep!  I'm all over the shop, drinking tonnes of water at night and (pretty obviously) having to pee a couple of times.  I've got quite an acute ache really low on the left of my abdomen... don't know if it's my IBS playing up, or if it's a pair of naughty little embies fighting for space.  I certainly hope it's the latter! 

The difference in advice from various clinics is unbelievable!  I just try to be sensible.  I've been using Sanex Zero for my showers, though, as I quite like the fact that it's biodegradable anyway.


----------



## Melly2015

Hi Ladies

Wow- loads to catch up on here, will do my best, sorry in advance if I miss anyone...

MsGnomer- sounds like things are going a lot more smoothly for you this time..very impressed that they did a 3D scan of you ovary!!! Congratulations on the 7 eggs and on being PUPO. The holiday sounds amazing    

MrsRL- Glad it all went well with MrR, sounded like he had a lot of good advice/ information for you both, when do you think you might be cycling again?  

Catf- can’t believe you’re 30 weeks now, only 10 more to go!! Glad you’re getting to finish up work soon. Sorry to hear you’re struggling a bit, am sure the sleeping must be a bit uncomfortable at this stage, hope the aches calm down a bit for you  

Katfish- so exciting that you’ve started treatment again now. I do remember paying out a lot for the Gonal F during my fresh cycle, think it was the most expensive one. Glad you’re on A/L now, time for you to put your feet up a bit! Love the nails, they’re fab! Well done on getting all that water into you! Don’t feel too disheartened by the scan, am sure everything will catch up.  

Mrschef-  So glad you’re feeling relaxed about things. I was a lot more relaxed during my FET than my fresh cycle, and obviously although it sadly resulted in a very early miscarriage, I did get a bfp, which was a step forwards. Am determined to stay more relaxed when I start my next cycle. Sorry you had a bit of a scare, but glad it’s all ok now and you got to see a little heartbeat  

MrsLondon- glad all is going well and that a birthing centre is still on the cards. I think I’d be the same as you regarding not buying stuff for the baby. Hope the next 10 weeks fly by for you....all so exciting!  

Sorry if I've missed anyone, there was a lot to catch up on!

AFM- got back yesterday from a week in Fuerteventura. Was absolutely brilliant, got to relax a lot with DH, weather was really nice most of the time- so plenty of swimming, cocktails, nice food etc etc. Back down to earth a bit now, but am definitely feeling more chilled out than I was before I went. Will be ringing the clinic when I get my next AF to book in for my next cycle, so reckon I'll be starting down regging sometime early April. Exciting!!!!


----------



## Katfish

MsGnomer sorry that your struggling to sleep! I deffo am feeling for you with all the weeing and Abdo pain! Yeh so weird how they all say different things! And actually different people in the same clinics saying different things too! 

Melly2015 it's lovely to hear from you! Gonal F is the most expensive of all of the drugs! Today I'm lagging with my water drinking though! Big fingers crossed my scan improves!  the DH is feeling very positive about it all! Your holiday sounds amazing I wish I was on a nice sunny holiday! What happened with your 5th Frostie? Glad that you will be able to start your next cycle soon!


----------



## Ms Gnomer

Hi Melly!  You sound very positive and happy off of the back of a fab holiday.  There's nothing like a bit of winter sun.


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## Melly2015

Katfish- my 5th frostie is still in the freezer. Because we're self funding, and because 2 of them didn't survive defrosting, I don't want to go through the emotional/ financial cost and physical rollercoaster of another FET in case this one doesn't survive and I've then gone through 4-5 weeks of drugs for nothing. It is still happily resting there in the freezer while my own eggs are unfortunately getting older, so we made the decision to go for another fresh cycle. I haven't forgotten about my little frostie, and if the fresh cycle doesn't work and I end up with a frostie from it, then they can both go in together at some point. Wasn't the easiest of decisions, but I think we've made the right one.  xxx


----------



## Katfish

Melly2015 that makes a lot of Sense I'm hoping that we get some Frosties my original plan was to keep them there if the cycle wasn't successful and then try again with fresh before using them because of my AMH but now my AMH isn't looking like an issue then we will revise the plan! Fingers crossed you will not need that Frostie this cycle anyway!

AFM - I feel like I'm not really getting anywhere to some extent and each scan is leaving me more annoyed and more confused. I'm really not enjoying this cycle at all. My scan went well I think they will scan me again on Monday as the follies are not ready yet. I may get scanned on Sunday but will find that out if I get a call later. The lady really knew how to put a downer on everything this time too! My friend who has been at the clinic too says she doesn't like this nurse either because of things that she said to her. She suddenly said to me that there is a chance I will not even get a EC or if I do they may have to freeze the embryos and implant them at a later date because my hormone levels could be too high and that this is the case because of my PCO! So when she said this I was left in shock and I asked if this was likely to happen then because she was mentioning it! She just said at the moment no but you never know! I seriously wanted to punch her in the face! I'm sorry but this is the time where your meant to be relaxing and not stressing then she went and said that and there's nothing apparently showing at the moment that this is the case. Also I'm still not on the lowest dose of Gonal F so if they where worried they would have lowered that already. Just feeling very ****** off, bloated and uncomfortable!
Also due to the people that took my bloods the last two times they have buggered my veins. So I had to go down so that the anaesthetist could take my blood. She missed the first and I ended up after having my hand in a hot bath of water having it taken from my hand. I've got "ladies veins" apparently. Just thought thank goodness I'm not at work with all these bruises from bloods! I have no idea where they will get the next ones from.


----------



## Melly2015

Katfish- you poor thing, sounds like you're having a rubbish time with this cycle. You're right, this is a time when the staff at the clinic should be supporting you, not stressing you out even more. Try to not let what that nurse said bother you (I know easier said than done) especially since your friend has had the same experience too. I hope your scan goes well today, and everything is ok. If they were genuinely worried about OHSS, then as you said they would have lowered your dose. Try to stay as positive as you can, and I'm sending  you lots of hugs and positive vibes for a better scan experience today.         xxx


----------



## mrschef04

Hey Katfish, I'm really sorry hon.  That is absolute rubbish!  Why do they do that?  You know what's funny?  I sometimes think the nurses and those doing the scans are the biggest culprits that make IVF so crap.  Whatever you do, don't let their dumb comments worry you.  Just relax as much as possible.  Keep us updated on if you scan again and lots of hugs, honey. xxxx


----------



## Katfish

Melly2015 I think it doesn't help that things are so different this time. The last it was all so positive. Thinking we where going to only get a handful of eggs now this time we have 61 follies squeezed in there! OHSS wasn't something that they even thought about last time. But the fact they saw my numbers before starting this cycle they should have had that discussion first.  Thank you for supporting me! How are you?

MrsChef I know I think that is a big factor! I know in my job and it's the same for them, you want to help the person and get them to understand what's happening everyone has there own ways of doing things. Thank you for supporting me! How are you doing?

AFM - The scan went well. The unit are pretty much regretting not scanning me on Sunday now. My ovaries are touching. It's all so cramped in there that it's pushing on my uterus and they are struggling to get an accurate lining reading as well. We were in there for over an hour! They have given me documentation about OHSS and have spoken to me in length about it. The big waiting factor is my bloods! I'm pretty certain they want me to trigger because of the follicle measurements. However they also are worried my hormone levels have jumped as well as the measurements! They may have to get me to coast on the cetrorelix if my hormone levels are high. Just waiting on that phone call now! I've surprisingly not come out feeling negative this time. The lady has explained everything to us properly and been companionate towards it! Maybe what the previous nurse said may have put dampeners on it.  But this lady was a lot more positive on her explanation.


----------



## Katfish

My hormone level must be ok because I have to trigger tonight at 2025 for egg collection on Wednesday at 0925. They have also given me the Ovitrelle to trigger with rather than the Buserlin. I believe the Ovitrelle is the stronger of the two so hormone levels can't be that bad!


----------



## mrschef04

Katfish, that's great you get to trigger.  I figured that your hormones would jump out of nowhere!  Good luck honey!

AFM - I'm bored with being pregnant.  Funny eh?  I mean, I want the baby and stuff, but I miss going out for a bottle of wine with hubby and laughing a bit with friends, instead of being stone cold sober.  Plus, the tiredness etc., just wears down on you.  I'm kind of freaked out, as I had morning sickness up until yesterday pretty badly, and woke up today and I have nothing.  I haven't felt nauseous or anything, but I also switched to taking my prenatal vitamin at night from Saturday, as they say that can lessen morning sickness.  I also have started up with my morning workouts again, so I'm not quite sure if it's just because I changed those two things that I don't have morning sickness anymore?  A little worried now...


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef I know I'm so relieved. I have everything crossed in my body that this works for us this time! Last time we had 8 mature eggs so hopefully we will be beating that this time! I'm scared but also very excited for Wednesday! I think with pregnancy you will go through all the emotions and because you have had such a ruff time to get there then it makes it extra hard! I see what you mean! Believe me I've had many days so far this cycle when I could kill for a drink with all the stress that's come with it! Hopefully the swapping the tablets has done the job for you now and the morning sickness has stopped! I'm sure that it's fine! Some people will have days when symptoms stop and then you may start being sick again just try to enjoy it while it lasts!


----------



## MrsRL

Just a quick message for Katfish - wishing you all the best for tomorrow for EC, keeping everything crossed that it goes really well. Sorry to hear you have been struggling   Hope it's really good news tomorrow! 

Good luck!!  xx


----------



## Katfish

MrsRL thank you I I'll let you all know how it goes!

There's a new bit of research come out about a reason behind why people have multiple miscarriages and the reason behind it! Here's the link: http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/mar/08/scientists-identify-cause-of-multiple-miscarriages-for-first-time


----------



## Melly2015

Katfish- good luck with EC today, hope it goes well, will be thinking of you. I'm so glad that you had a bit more positive news, and that your hormone levels are ok. Really hoping that you get loads of healthy eggs      xxx

Mrschef- I think morning sickness can come and go, I have a friend who found that exercise was the one thing that kept it at bay, so it could be that you've started your morning workouts again   xxx

Hope everyone else is well xxx


----------



## Ms Gnomer

Good luck today, *Katfish*.

I have a bit of a development... snapped at the husband last night because he was being an idiot, and realised that tha's as sure-fire sign of PMT, as I'm usually just exasperated. I feel like sitting here and crying, because AF is definitely on her way. Normally, I'd take it in my stride, but my fur-babies are going to my parents' house later today for their holiday, so I won't even have them to snuggle! Thank goodness I'm working tomorrow, or it'd be the longest day in the world!

On a plus point: at least I'll be able to go diving while I'm on holiday and can sample the rum... silver linings!


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## Melly2015

Ms Gnomer- am sorry you're feeling like that...when is your test day? Try to keep positive (I know easier said than done). Until AF arrives AND you get a negative result on your test day, you're not out. You have so many hormones running though your system at the moment, that they could well be the reason you're exasperated. When I was in my last 2ww, I felt pretty ok all along until I got to the day before OTD. I was then convinced AF was on her way, ended up in tears at work at one point (Luckily only in the presence of someone who knew what was going on) and just felt really down and fed up....In the end, AF didn't show up and the next morning I got my bfp. It's a horrible time, I think only people who have been through it realise how awful and difficult it is. Sending you lots of positive vibes, hang in there       xxx


----------



## MrsRL

Ms Gnomer - sending   So sorry you are feeling like this. You're not out yet though and I have heard of people saying they felt the same in cycles whether a bfp or bfn so it's not over yet. As Melly said you have so many hormones in your system, that it's no wonder you're snapping! It really is a difficult time, but please don't give up yet, I know it's so hard though. When is otd? Thinking of you and send positive vibes too       

Take care   xx


----------



## Ms Gnomer

I'm definitely going to stick with it.  OTD is Sunday, but Friday is 2 weeks after EC (and when I go on holiday), so I might test two days early.  I have seen a trace of pink in knicker watch, so I do think it's it, but maybe it's just one of the little blighters that doesn't want to stick around.  

I've had a jolly good cry and got frustrated.  I'm now about to hop in the shower before my mum gets here, so that she has no idea what's going on!  I've not told any family about IVF, so at least I haven't got anyone else to disappoint... I could do with the support in many ways, but my mum has a habit of being completely insensitive anyway, so I'd rather not ever have to discuss any of it with her!


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## mrschef04

Ms Gnomer, I'm so sorry you're worried and having a bit of a wobble.  We've all done it, so I completely understand.  I'm going to say the things everyone says: don't worry too much.  Try and relax a little bit.  I know it's easier said than done, but try and do something that takes your mind off of it.  Remember, bleeding just before, isn't too bad, if it's a small smidge.  I had a small smidge myself when I got my BFP.  Hang in there and lots of hugs... we're all here if you need to vent!


----------



## Katfish

MsGnomer please try not to worry too much as the others have said a bit of bleeding doesn't mean that your out of the game. And there is so many hormones running though our systems that snapping and tears are all very normal! Got everything crossed for you!

AFM - today was the big EC day! I was in there for an hour for my collection my DH informs me. They couldn't tell me the number of eggs straight away because they where still counting! I was in so much pain they have to give me some codine! The dr came and told us in total they got 60 eggs!!!!!! The embryologist said it's a unit record well that he has seen anyway! The embryologist also gave us some good news that there was actually 8 straws frozen rather than the 4 we were originally told! Therefore due to the numbers and the quality they have thawed 2 and maybe another if required! They will if it's worth it freeze the left over sperm again! I nearly passed out when I went to the loo which meant we didn't leave the unit till 1.30!! EC was at 9.30! The Dr wanted to look at freezing all the embryos because I'm at such a high risk of OHSS we have decided to continue with ET at present and we can always review it at the time! I've been given some tablets to try to reduce the risk of OHSS which I take until ET and take them just before bed because the side affects are not great and I will sleep through them! Now to wait and see what tomorrow's phone call brings!


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## MrsRL

Katfish - wow! 60 eggs!! I bet you were shocked! Make sure you rest up now, I remember the second day after EC being the worst so take it easy with that number. I'm not surprised there's a risk of OHSS, are you worried about it? I assume they've told you what to look out for? Have they told you how many are mature etc or will that be tomorrow? I hope you get some brilliant quality embryos, it looks like you'll have a good number to freeze too. That's brilliant they have more straws than you thought too  well done you. Keeping everything crossed that you have a really positive phone call tomorrow and don't get OHSS. xx


----------



## Katfish

MrsRL - yes I was rather shocked by the numbers they are too! I'm currently resting on the sofa with the DH waiting on me hand and foot! I'm slightly worried yes but at the end of the day it's out of my control so can't worry about it too much! I will find out the maturity tomorrow. I think the embryologist has a long day ahead of him!! After reading a bit of Robert Winstons book they say that apparently if you become pregnant and have OHSS it's more likely to stick! Weird hey!! The clinic already gave us the info on OHSS during my last appointment! Think they are going to keep a close eye on me for sure!


----------



## Ms Gnomer

Oh my goodness gracious! That is absolutely astonishing, *Katfish*! Fingers crossed for you that they're all mature and that you can really have an amazing choice of which embryos to put back. I'm thinking of you and really hoping that you don't get OHSS (or at least not badly) and can carry on with ET as long as it's safe to do so. I'm genuinely thrilled for you! 

AFM I've calmed down a bit now. Have been busy all day thinking about windows and conservatories, etc. After my mum went home with my bunnies, I went out and poo-picked the paddock and spent some time with my miniature horse, which took the edge off of things. He was really sweet (he really isn't always!) and wanted lots of cuddles, so it was really enjoyable. I don't really know what to think about the AF thing, as it's not in full flow and would be usually by now (I usually start the evening before, then am in full flow by morning when I wake up). I guess that could be the progesterone holding it back or, as you guys say, it could be a late implantation bleed or something. I'm going to keep calm and carry on, as they say! Thanks so much for your support. It really does mean a lot to know you're here.


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## mrschef04

Katfish - 60 eggs!  That's amazing!  Holy crap, girl!  Keep us posted hon!

Hello to everyone else out there!

AFM - after two days of feeling fine, I got hit with the worst, dizzying nausea in the world in the middle of the most hectic day at work, in the middle of a meeting.  It was a horrible day.  On top of that, I was on the tube home and it was so packed, my back was to the crowd and someone behind me swung their bag at the back of my legs, so I almost fell over and then that same person shoved me into a pole and I couldn't move and all I could do was step back, so I could stand up.  Otherwise I would have just thrown up.  Can you believe it?  A pregnant woman screeched "why are you pushing against me?  can't you see I'm pregnant?"  It was all her and then she bashed everyone else around her like a jerk.  If she wasn't pregnant, I would have slapped her in the face.  Oof!


----------



## Ms Gnomer

I am so glad that I moved out of London... Tube Rage is the worst!  Hopefully you're home with your feet up now, having a restful evening! x


----------



## Katfish

MsGnomer - I know I'm still in shock that I got that many! I will not be surprised if the numbers drop tomorrow but I think that's the best head to go with then high mature and fertilisation numbers will be a bonus! Snap I am really hoping so too! I've come this far will be sad to pull out at the last hurdle! You have a miniature horse?! Glad that you have been able to take your mind off of it though!

MrsChef - haha I know!! Will definitely let you all know what's going on as I know! Oh my goodness I can't believe that lady!! Would have served her right if you puked all over her! But at least in some ways it can put your mind at rest from yesterday's thoughts of something going wrong with the pregnancy!


----------



## Ms Gnomer

Yes, I have a part-bred fallabella as a lawnmower.  He's a little git, but I love him!


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## mrschef04

Ms Gnomer - that's hilarious.. I looked fallabella up.  Didn't think a cat or dog was enough?  Lol!  How are you feeling honey?  Everything okay?

Katfish - Your new nickname is "Mother Hen,"  you produced enough eggs for Tesco's.  hahahahaha

Have a nice evening ladies.  I'm off to sleep like an old person now!


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## Katfish

MsGnomer I looked it up too how sweet!

MrsChef haha mother hen indeed!  I'll be clucking soon.

AFM - still feeling ok at the mo feeling nervous and symptom watching for OHSS! Think all the water I've been drinking today is finally coming out the other way! I feel like screaming when I start to pass urine which I think is just because of all the bloating and tenderness down the There! It's fine after the itinial bit of the wee! I look like I'm 3 months pregnant from the bloating but on the positive my tummy is soft before collection it was solid!


----------



## Catf2008

Katfish - that's amazing, hoping for good numbers tomorrow for you 

Mrsgnomer- please remember the bleeding I had before my BFP and I thought I was out, that little one is due in 8 weeks time so it's not over till test day 

Mrschef - sorry about the horrible tube journey, think I would of said something to the stupid woman, how are you feeling now

How is everyone else

Afm - I'm 32 weeks tomorrow and can't believe little will be here in 8 weeks, it's all getting real now and I can't wait to meet her, 4 weeks till I finish work and it can't come soon enough


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## mrschef04

Katfish - Fingers crossed today!  Let us know how everything goes!

Catf - Wow!  8 weeks left!  You must be relieved!  I wondered about that - i.e. when should I take time off with baby.  How long are you taking for maternity leave?  The full year?

AFM - Feeling much better.  I seem to feel a lot better if I eat healthy, but bland food, go to sleep before 10pm like an old person and if I exercise every day, so that's what I'm going to keep on doing.  Other than that, everything is fine.  Just bored.  At eight weeks on Sunday.  Still very light brown spotting, but feeling okay anyway.


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## Catf2008

Mrschef - it's been a lot of discussion with hubby & we agreed I would take the 39 weeks paid & then return to work but I will be requesting flexi hours (that's if I have a company to come back to as they are in administration) if not I'll be finding a little part time job

Katfish - fingers crossed for good news this morning x


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## Melly2015

Katfish- OMG- 60 eggs!!! You poor battery hen!!! Keep drinking the water...do you have lucozade sport? It’s supposed to be great for helping the rehydration levels too, I got 18 eggs during my fresh cycle last year, and I was recommended to drink that to help...seems a tiny amount in comparison to what you’ve produced! When will you hear regarding maturity/ fertilisation etc? Fingers crossed for you   Am so pleased for you after the ups and downs over the past couple of weeks. I know what you mean about the pain when you pass urine, I’ve had that before too and it’s horrible.   xxx

Ms Gnomer- glad you’re feeling a bit better.   Keep busy and don’t overthink things. How cute that you have a miniature horse, does he need much space...or do you need a slightly smaller field than you would need for a bigger one? Glad you got some cuddles....if you’re not getting full flow, then that’s a good thing- keep up the positive vibes!     xxx

Mrschef- sounds like a rubbish day yesterday, hope you had a nice rest when you got home and a good sleep last night   xxx

Catf- aww, can’t believe you’ll get to meet your little lady so soon....bet you’re counting down the days left in work now!   xxx

Hope everyone else is ok...

I’ve contacted Access Fertility, and have started the enrolment process for a multi-cycle package. So we pay a fixed amount and we get up to 2 fresh cycles and it includes any associated FETs. So at least if the next one doesn’t work, we know we’ve got another one to go, which should help relieve the pressure a bit. Will be ringing the clinic when my next AF arrives (in about 9 days I reckon) and will then start down regulation on day 21 of that cycle....all seeming very soon now- eeek!!! I’ll be adding scratch, intralipids and clexane to this cycle, so fingers firmly crossed!


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## Katfish

Hi everyone a very me post sorry I'm feeling pretty ruff so will do personals when I'm feeling better.  Got the phone call this morning out of 60 eggs they injected 51 then then 14 and have fertilise they will call me again on Saturday morning with a further update .  I'm not surprised by these numbers because we thought we were only going to get 16 with the follicle measurements so 14/16 is pretty good.  Plus they are pretty surprised they got 60 and 51 to inject because my whole my hormone levels were only 6700.
Feeling very sick this morning where ever I go to the toilet I feel very dizzy and end up being sick the DH has gone to work now and is only a phone call away.  Clinic don't seem worried they said they think it's probably the tablets to stop OHSS.


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## Catf2008

Katfish that's great amount, fingers crossed they keep on growing c


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## Ms Gnomer

Still great numbers, *Katfish*. Hopefully you'll start to feel a bit better soon.

I'm just home briefly for lunch, so leaving again in a mo, but I thought I'd let you know that AF hasn't got any stronger yet. Maybe there is hope after all!


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## mrschef04

That's wonderful news, Ms Gnomer!  

Katfish - fingers crossed for the next update and get some rest hon!

Melly - that's great.  So you'll be cycling again in 9 days?


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## Katfish

Sorry another me post I will catch up I promise! I was admitted to gynae last night because I just couldn't shake the feeling of continuously feeling sick! I'm on a drip and anti-sickness meds! Taking each day as it comes! I am hoping that I'm not in for too long but we will see! Still planning on transfer at the mo! Get next phone call with update of my eggs tomorrow! X x


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## MrsRL

Evening ladies,

Ms Gnomer - I hope AF has continued to stay away. When is OTD? Wishing you the very best of luck   How sweet that you have a fallabella 

Katfish - sorry to hear that you ended up being admitted to gynae. How are you today? You poor thing, I hope the drip and anti-sickness meds have done the trick and you're not in there too long. What happened with the phone call today? I hope all is well. Keeping everything crossed   14 eggs fertilised is brilliant though  Hope your embies are doing well. Keep us updated.

Melly - great news with Access fertility, it does look like a good option  Not long until you start cycling again now 

Catf - I bet you are counting down the days until you finish now. 

MrsChef - your experience on the tube sounds terrible, I hate the way some people are in London and just push and shove everyone! I couldn't do it daily. Glad you are feeling ok 

Hello to everyone else  

AFM - we had our follow-up appointment with Mr R yesterday, and it looks like it will be a while before we cycle again as Mr R confirmed that DH has a varicocele and he would like to operate on it to remove it. He has suggested that we try to get this through the NHS so he is writing a referral letter to the GP to see if she will refer us to him to carry out the operation. He seems to think that as we have funded everything privately with Mr R so far that it should go in our favour. If the GP refuses, we will look at funding it privately anyway. Mr R has also put DH on tamoxifen for the next 2 months. If he gets an appointment for the op by then, we will go and DH can also do a sample on the day. If not, we will need to see Mr R in Windsor for him to provide the SA and find out if the tamoxifen has improved anything. The SA that DH provided a couple of weeks ago showed that he had less sperm (250,000) but they had improved motility wise compared to previous tests. Hopefully this is due to our improvement in eating healthily, fertilisan m vitamins and wearing snowballs for cooling. Anyway Mr R seems to think we won't be ready to cycle again until the end of the year/beginning of next year to see a real improvement. It seems like a long time to wait, but hopefully worth it rather than going through another cycle and having the same outcome as before. He seems confident that he can help DH anyway and thinks the op will make a big difference to the quality. We are still pushing through with registering with the new clinic and have an initial consultation in just over a week. We want to get DH's frozen sample moved over too as a back up, and it will only be stored in London until May so need to get it sorted.

Take care ladies xx


----------



## Little Small

I don't want new friends I want my old ones      I've missed you all!!! 

Sorry for hiding....I'm a bit scaredy. 15w5d today and can't believe it.....so frightened to admit it out loud. I've been here, in the background, always.

Sending hugs to you all xxxxxxx


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## MrsLondon

Morning ladies,

Wowsa! I've got a whopping 12 pages to get through before replying. Sorry I've been absent lately. Work is manic at the moment and we are STILL trying to get our house in some sort of order before the arrival. 

MrsRL - Oxford is lovely!! We looked into having our treatment there but it was a little far for us. We went to their open day and they seemed great. I know what you mean re the costs. Everything just adds up doesn't it. In total we spent 8grand and most of that was given to us by DH's nan. We just don't have that kind of money. We haven't even got any internal doors in our house at the moment  . I think it's a good idea to wait for a bit, save and enjoy your 30's and you know miracles can happen. Look at MrsChef, someone in my NCT group was the same. Tried for years, low AMH, about to start their IVF and fell pregnant . Although I'm a bit cinical myself  . Egg sharing sounds like a good idea, unfortunately I wasn't able to do that because of my low AMH levels. - I just caught up with your last post, was trying to read all 12 pages and reply at the same time. I'm sorry to hear that you will have to wait  hopefully you'll be able to get the op on the NHS. I guess the positive in all this is that hopefully things will work out for the best and this op is going to make DH's sperm better. Although it must be so frustrating.  

MrsChef - Wow you have been through a tough time these last few weeks. I'm so pleased that the spotting was nothing and you got to see the heartbeat of your little one. hope everything goes smoothly over the next few weeks until your 12 week scan. I'm the same as you, I never call in sick or take time off. I've been trying to make sure all my midwife appointments are at the most convenient time. We both need to remember that our little beans are more important than work now.  

Catf - Sorry to hear that you've been uncomfortable. Sleeping is an issue for me too as I too used to sleep on my front. Have you got a pregnancy pillow? I've got one of those really long ones and it seems to have helped. I keep getting pains lower down on my right side mainly when I sleep. The midwife said they could refer to me physio if it gets worse. Not long to go and you've got Easter weekend coming up in a few weeks. Re me working up until my due date, I'm only doing it to make the most of my mat leave as I won't be able to take even 9months off. Also I've got a student teacher who basically teaches all my lessons so I can just sit there for most of the day. Even so I'm finding it a lot more tiring. I'm also the same, forget I'm pregnant and try and be super woman and do everything. We've got less than 8 weeks to go!!! How are you feeling about the birth? Did you do NCT? Where are you based? 

Melly - Glad you had a lovely break  april is nearly here!!! Looking forward to reading how your cycle goes and wishing you the best of luck.  

MrsGnomer - How are you feeling now? Hope AF stayed away...when is your OTD? Are you off on holiday this Friday?? Sending you lots of positive vibes.   

Katfish - Wowsa, 60 eggs and 14 fertilised. That's some good going. How are you feeling now? Hope the sickness is better. Have you heard any more about your transfer day? Fingers crossed that you will be able to have it. Ive never had OSHH but heard how horrible it is. Hope you've been resting.

Mrs Small- Yea!!!!!! SO soooooo HAPPY for you lovely lady   esp after what happened last time. I can totally appreciate how you feel. I was the same, only really started relaxing at 24 weeks!!! Really hope everything stays positive for you. After 12weeks the risk of miscarriage drops to 1% so you're out of the danger zone. Keep us posted xx

Cinnamon - Hi if you're still following. Hope all is ok with you and your plans for your DE cycle are going to plan. Would be nice to hear how you are.

AFM - Nothing to really report, bump is evening out which is good, used to measure 2 weeks ahead, now only half a week. Head was down last time they checked. Like Catf I've got 8 weeks to go, our due dates are the same day  . Just getting a lot more tired in the evenings but cant complain seeing as I didn't have any symptoms in the first 12weeks and have a pretty easy pregnancy (touch wood). It's only now I'm getting bigger that things are difficult, heartburn and back ache being the most common. Less than two weeks until the Easter holidays so I'll get some rest then  

Hope you've all had good weekends and I promise to check more frequently on all your updates. Lots of love


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## Katfish

Catf I bet your counting down the days!! 

Melly I'm just on squash a bit of orange juice and water at the moment not tried the lucozade! Glad that you have been looking at access fertility! Which unit are you looking at that for?! 

MrsGnomer glad bleeding hasn't got any stronger! Weird question but what pessaries are you using? Getting closer to OTD!!!!

MrsRL glad that things are moving for you! Does he think maybe doing this op may help things happen naturally for you guys? Sorry that it's going to be a long wait but hopefully it will be all worth it in the end! Will update about me in my AFM post!

LittleSmall so lovely to hear from you and very glad to see that you are expecting! That's fantastic news!

MrsLondon lovely to hear from you! Glad that your nearing the end of your journey! How funny that your EDD is the same as Catf's! You sound very lucky to have gone though a nice easy pregnancy!

AFM - I'm feeling pretty down to be honest! Yesterday I was feeling better my weight had gone down but tummy had got bigger! Today weight back up and tummy even bigger! DH really pushing me to do things! But then feeling exhausted and in pain after! I'm covered in bruises from injections, attempts to re-canulate me and bloods! I felt good yesterday after the phone call telling me that 7 embies are where they want them to be and the other 7 are only slightly behind! They are going to leave them all until Monday! They gave be a ET time however the dr from the unit doesn't think it's a good idea and tbh I'm feeling the same right now! My stomach is huge! The lady who serves the food asked me how many weeks I am!!!!! I am struggling to see an end right now to all of this!


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## Ms Gnomer

Greetings from Saint Lucia!

*Katfish*, I was on cyclogest, but have just switched to crinone.

Anyway, despite the constant bleeding, and a very faint line, I'm thrilled to let you know I got a BFP this morning! I'm all over the place and don't know what to do with myself, but I've never been happier! It's definitely worth waiting until OTD!

Going to head for brekkie, as I'm starving, but wanted to let you know straight away! Xx


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## Katfish

Mrs Gnomer omg I am so happy for you!!!! I hope your having a lovely holiday and that line keeps getting brighter and brighter for you! I'm on the new pessaries they are awful and will not stay in!!!!! Sorry TMI! 

AFM - the consultant had just been to see me again. We are not going ahead with a transfer I have to call in the morning! He's sure that there will be something to freeze though! I can go though a medicated frozen cycle in about 2months and they will review me then! So more money down the drain but hopefully it shall all be worth it! Im currently on a transfusion aswell which should hopefully send the fluids away from my tummy and back into my bladder basically! So it's still a big waiting game! X x x


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## MrsRL

Little Small -      SO happy for you lovely  It is wonderful to hear your fantastic news about expecting. Wow to you being 15 weeks already. I bet you can't wait for your 20 week scan  Will you find out what you are having? xx

Ms Gnomer - HUGE congratulations on your       SO pleased for you, that is brilliant news. I bet you are thrilled  I hope you are having a fantastic holiday, enjoy!   xx

MrsLondon - good news that you are only measuring ahead by half a week now. I bet you can't wait until Easter so that you can get some well earned rest. Not long to go now until you meet baby, how exciting!!  Thank you, I will keep you all updated about whether DH's procedure can be funded on the NHS. Our GP can be awkward at the best of times though so hope she agrees to refer us. The wait is frustrating, but will hopefully be worth it if it works  xx

Katfish - you poor thing, it sounds like you are going through it this cycle. It sounds like you are doing the right thing with not going through with the transfer if you are suffering like this and you will be in a better place when you comes to transfer. I'm sure it is all very frustrating though, but hopefully will work out for the best. I am keeping everything crossed for you that you have a really good number of embies to freeze. It sounds like you are doing brilliantly with numbers so far though  Sending   as it sounds like you need it. Hope it all works out for you  Keep us updated tomorrow. I don't think that the op will allow things to happen naturally but hopefully improve things for ICSI. We'll see anyway. Here's hoping all of our waiting will be worth it. Take care xx

Hello to everyone else, hope you are all good   xx


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## mrschef04

MrsRL – I hope the wait isn’t too long and fingers crossed that all of the work leading up to your next cycle will be worth it.

Little Small – Congratulations on the 15 weeks!  You’re in the clear now!  I’m still on tenterhooks and waiting for my 12 week scan.  That will tell me everything I need to know then. 

MrsLondon – wow!  8 weeks to go!  Hasn’t time just flown, ladies?  I am so stoked for you, honey!  Yeah, it floored everyone else too.  Literally, the entire family had given up and then we shocked the crap out of everyone!

MsGnomer – Congratulations my darling!  I am so happy for you!  I know it seems hard to do, but just keep it all in the back of your head and the 12 weeks will swing by!  I hope your holiday is fantastic darling and just relax as much as you possibly can!  The best thing I’ve been doing through any of the morning sickness is exercising, so that helps a heck of a lot!

AFM: A lot has happened over the last few days.  I’m at 8 weeks now and the exhaustion and morning sickness is starting to ease, which is good.  I haven’t had spotting for a week now, which is great.  I also got accepted as a self-referral to Guy’s and St. Thomas’ for my antenatal care and my delivery, which I’m very pleased about.  They are considered the top hospital for midwifery care and delivery, and they usually have a waiting list, so that’s great.  They won midwife of the year awards this year!  My 12-week appointment is on Tues, 12th April in the afternoon, so just four weeks to go and I get my answers.  I’m just nervous about the downs syndrome test and to make sure the baby is still around with its heart beating.  As I’m quite naturally very slim, I’m also starting to show a little bit already, as I never had breasts before and now it looks like I’ve had them done!  Lol!  We also found a new flat, so I’m really stoked that we might get to move in with lots more space in the next month or two!


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

MrsChef - you sound like you're in such a positive place right now; I'm absolutely thrilled for you. After everything you've been through, you really deserve some happiness  

MrsRL - Glad you've got a plan with Mr R, hope it goes smoothly. I have total confidence in Mr R, really hope it works out for you. At least if you know you're not cycling again this year you can give yourself a bit of a break - be kind to yourself, enjoy some treats, maybe go on a holiday (or two!). Turn it into a positive time for you and your DH. Hope you manage to get some of it done on the NHS - we managed to have one NHS appointment with Mr R, as our GP is super nice. 

Katfish - Oh, my word! 60 eggs! I didn't even know that was possible! It seems very sensible to have deferred your transfer, though - keeping everything crossed for some strong frosties for you   Hope you start to feel better soon. 

MsGnomer - BFP!!!! Wow!!! Congratulations!! Will they do a scan at 7/8 weeks for you? 

MrsLondon and Catf - glad to hear things are going smoothly with the bumps - it's crazy to be so close to the finish, isn't it? Hope it continues to be good news for both of you. Wouldn't it be funny if you actually end up delivering on the same day!

Little Small - How wonderful!!! Well into your 2nd trimester!!! Bet you can't wait for your 20wk scan - will you be finding out if you're team pink or team blue? Just so, so happy for you  

Melly - good luck for your next cycle! You are super brave. Hope it goes well - keep us all posted. 

AFM - I'm 34 weeks on Wednesday, and finish work on Friday. I can't wait - I've been totally ready to finish for well over a month. I'm lucky enough to be able to take a whole year off - nearly 13 months, as from Friday until April 13th will be annual leave, rather than mat leave. I've never taken that much time off work, ever, so it's crazy to think of all that time! The bump keeps measuring ahead, and is very kicky, which is reassuring, but I can't say I'll be surprised if he makes an early appearance. Just hopefully not too early! Think I'm having some slight last minute panics, after spending so long believing that we'd never have a baby, and convincing myself of all the positive things about being childless, it's a bit mad for it all to be actually happening. Wonderful, but mad.


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## Ms Gnomer

How exciting, *Rumple*! I bet you can't wait! Just think of all that time watching your little one grow and learn.  I know what you mean about having to get used to the idea. We were going to sack off work, sell the house and travel round the world if it didn't work out!  There are lots of positives to a childless life, but I'm looking forward to the emotional gains from one with a family.


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## Ms Gnomer

*mrschef *, I hear you with the scans. I'll be the same about the amniocentesis. I used to work with kids with Downs when I was a student. As much as I loved them, and had the utmost respect for their guardians (most weren't with parents, which says it all), it's incredibly difficult and I'm not sure I want that life for us or our child. We won't be telling my DH's very religious family that we're pregnant until after the test, as we want to be able to make a reasoned decision without judgement and the inevitable fallout from them. Difficult, as I'll have to tell my mum fairly soon, after the 7/8-week scan at Bourn.

*Katfish* I'm so sorry to hear you've had to delay. I know it must be emotionally very hard. Getting your body in tip top condition for a FET will hopefully give you an amazing chance though. Thinking of you!

Everyone else: sorry for the lack of personals.. on my phone and my memory is shot at the moment! Thinking of you all! Xx


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## MrsRL

Evening lovely ladies   

Katfish - how are you now? I have been thinking of you, and I hope you have had good news today about your embies x

MrsChef - it sounds like things are going well for you at the moment. Fantastic news that your self-referral was accepted! Are you having to wear clothes to hid your new figure? Great news with the flat 

Rumple - lovely to hear from you  Wow 34 weeks! How exciting! Lovely that you can have nearly 13 months off too. I would struggle to go back   I'm glad bump keeps reassuring you by kicking you regularly  I sure it must be mad, I don't think I would believe it as I know when ttc for so long it feels like it will never be you, so must be mad when it happens  Thank you for your kind words. We are going on holiday for my 30th so looking forward to that, we decided we might as well treat ourselves  I'm also looking at finding a new job now that I have got so long between cycles. Unfortunately our GP isn't always nice, she is often very moany! I hope we manage to get some of it on the nhs though to take off the pressure a bit. 

Ms Gnomer - hope you're having a wonderful holiday  

Hello to everyone else xx


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## mrschef04

Rumplestiltskin - that's great you get 13 months off.  I'm so happy for you and that you're finishing up soon!  I still feel lucky, as I've only been with my company for six months, so I'll just have 6 months full pay off.  

MrsRL - I've had to get new bras, but I found a four-pack on Amazon for 8 quid.  I'm just wearing my empire waist dresses and flowing clothes.

Ms Gnomer - I definitely understand and respect those that would have a child with Downs, but I don't think I have the life or the facilities to really undertake that.  I'm doing the nuchal test, but are you going to do the full amniocentesis as well?

MrsLondon - you are lucky you had no symptoms, though it must have creeped you out.  As much as I hate the nausea (not throwing up), it kind of gives me a sense that the pregnancy is going well.  The BFP and early scans boards are quite scary.  Lots of missed miscarriages and such, but then you look at their posts and a lot of them had absolutely no symptoms or very heavy clots/bleeding.  I know, it's terrible to symptom spot, but I hate being in limbo.  Four weeks left before my 12-week scan and tests.  I hope it goes well and I hope I start feeling better with no nausea.


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## Ms Gnomer

I'm not sure, yet, as I'm quite fearful of the risks with the full amniocentesis... I need to do some research when the time comes. 

I bought a couple more tests today, so will test again tomorrow and again on Thursday. I really need to see darker lines to actually get this to sink in. I keep feeling like I've made a mistake!


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## Rumplestiltskin

Ms Gnomer - you might want to look into Harmony testing, if the nuchal translucency comes back high risk. The NHS are phasing it in over the next year, as it's cheaper, more accurate and much less risky than amnio, but for the moment you'll have to pay. It's about £500, but it's just a blood test and will give you very accurate results on things like Down's, Edward's and Patau syndromes. 

We felt like we'd made a mistake until we started having the scans - it's just so hard to believe the HPTs! (Even though they are generally very accurate.)


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## Katfish

MrsRL ah right I see well every little helps! Will update about me at the bottom!

MrsChef wow 8wks!!! I'm sure it's very hard looking at the tests but I think at the end of the day you have to look at it in two ways! Would you change anything if somethings shows up and the risk of doing the tests anyway! I know someone who was given high chances on her amino and they pushed for her to abort! She had this on two occasions and both babies came out with no syndrome! New flat sounds very exciting too!

Rumplestiltskin haha according to my body it is! Lol! Bet your counting down the days until Friday! I would be! Enjoy nesting!

MrsGnomer hope that your line gets stronger and stronger for you!

AFM - I've definitely been having a ruff time of it to say the least! I have had so many up and downs the last few days it's awful! We finally told our parents the situation last night too! Basically yesterday I had to have a drain put into my tummy to help drain the fluid! I've put on over two stone!!!! They will only drain one litre twice a day and they will then do a transfusion afterwards! Every time I get up which is very little I want to scream! I'm barely wee'ing even though I've got 3l of fluids going into me in 24h plus anything that I drink! I'm so glad that the consultant from the clinic comes and sees me because if it was up to the Dr here they wouldn't have drained me! Yesterday we got the phone call to say that we had one good blast that was good to freeze and they would culture the other 13 on until today! This morning there was one more frozen! I really don't know what I will do if these don't take because I really can't go through this again!!! The dr who put in the drain who also works at the clinic I bawled to after the drain was put in because I don't want to go though this again and because I'm certain that my DH will be blaming himself inside for all of this! I'm in a side room and I had been very lucky until yesterday that my next door neighbours would only be in a short while then move out again! I say till yesterday because the lady in the next room is making me want to hit my head against a brick wall! She's so draining! When her husband comes in he can't do anything right and they just bicker all the time! I'll be very happy when they discharge her!


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## mrschef04

Katfish - oof!  What a nighmare that is!  Do you have headphones, good music and a ton of crap magazines?  It always helps!  Anything to keep your mind off things.  My thoughts are always with you hon!  Well, it's sort of first things first.  We're going for the nuchal combined test.  Then it will most likely be CVS or amnio.  It's very small percentage of miscarriage and I would prefer to have clear answers.  Then, I'll just see from there.  If I have high chances on the amnio, then I'll do the harmony test and make my decision from there, I think.

Ms Gnomer - how are you feeling then?  Any symptoms yet?  Mine got full blown a week after I was late and about 10 days after my missed period!

AFM: terrible morning sickness yesterday and feeling better today, but just tired.  Tiredness or stress never helps morning sickness.  ugh!


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## Catf2008

Mrschef - sorry to hear your suffering with morning sickness, fingers crossed for you that it goes soon

Kat fish - sorry you've been in so much pain, sounds like your having a really tough time of it 

Msgnomer - how are you doing?

Rumple - wow to being 34 weeks it's all moving so fast, bet your looking forward to having 13 months off

Little small - how are you doing? 

Hello to everyone else hope your all ok

AFM - well life has been turned upside down for us, my company has been in administration since December & we were being told that everything was ok and we would be here for a long time well they lied to us & we've been told my department are all being made redundant so as of Thursday next week I'll technically be unemployed & now having to try & claim my maternity pay from the government plus also claiming my redundancy pay as the company is insolvent. So I now just have 7 working days left at work till it all comes to an end and I'm kind of gutted I won't be getting my leaving day to have a baby instead I'm going to be sad that many of my friends are now losing their jobs & some of these girls have gone though all 3 rounds of IVF with me.


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## MrsRL

Katfish - sorry to hear that you are in so much pain   It really does sound like you are having a rough time  It sounds like the clinic are being very supportive though (as they should be) and good to hear the consultant is visiting you to check on you. Pleased to hear you have 2 lovely frozen embies  Are they seeing what happens with the others or not? I really hope they work for you, as I can see why you wouldn't want to go through all this again.  Sorry to hear your neighbours are a pain too, hopefully she will be discharged soon. As MrsChef said, hope you have some good music to listen to and magazines/books to keep you occupied. I hope things improve for you soon and you become well enough to go home. xx

MrsChef - sorry to hear you are suffering with morning sickness. I hope it eases soon. 

Catf - so sorry to hear about your work, it must be very worrying for you. Not nice that they lied to you either, especially when you are coming up to maternity leave. I hope you manage to sort your maternity pay and redundancy pay. It is such a shame when you have made close friends as well.  I hope it doesn't cause you too much stress.

Ms Gnomer - how are you doing? 

Hello to everyone else xx


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## Ms Gnomer

Hi all! Thank you so much, *Rumple* for the brilliant advice. I'll look into it and will hopefully get my clinic to do it.

*Katfish*, I really hope you're feeling better soon. I'm glad to hear you've got two frosties. Keeping everything crossed for you and hoping that everything goes smoothly from now on. I hope the annoying neighbour gets discharged asap so you can get some well-deserved rest.

*Cat*, I'm feeling really good, actually. I've been really happy for the past few months and feel like I've gone up a gear again. 

*mrschef*, I'm very tired of an evening and am extremely bloated. I also need to drink/wee a lot. I'm pretty good other than that, though. I actually had nausea at 4am from 5-9 days into my 2WW, which disappeared for a while, but it started again early this morning. I'm hoping it's not permanent, as it's not very nice! I look properly fat though... all of my flab has moved to my belly and it's sticking out due to the bloating. At least I can embrace it!


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## mrschef04

Catf - That is so sad!  I'm so sorry for you.  I can't imagine the stress and horrible feelings you are going through with work.  I've been there and it's not easy.  I really hope you are okay and that things work out a bit for you, particularly financially and with the company.  If you can, move quick on claiming everything back.

Ms Gnomer - I know what you mean about the sickness, but it also makes me feel calmer when I have it.

AFM - I woke up in the middle of the night with mild cramping, back ache and dark red blood.  I only saw it when I wiped twice and then now nothing.  Anyone else have this?  I'm at 8 weeks 3 days now and it seems highly unlikely to get this now.  Not sure if I should go to the EGU again for a scan or not.  My next appt isn't until 12th April.


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## Katfish

MrsChef sadly no trashy mags should have some though! Just been watching crap on my iPad!  think best thing to do with the blood is whatever makes you feel best! Call if it helps put your worries aside! Some people still have their periods the whole way though!

CatF oh my goodness that must be so stressful and awful for you right now when you don't need any of this! Hopefully it will not be hard trying to sort out the government mat leave pay! Hopefully someone in your works financial department will be able help you with that! 

MrsRL no the rest of the embies are finished with now! No more movement with them. They where on the early side of blasts but not very good! 

MsGnomer be very happy for good bloating unlike mine! 

AFM - Oh my I jumped for joy well inside obviously when I heard the word discharge for the lady next door to me haha! I can't wait!!!! I wish I was being given the news too but looks like I'll be in for a few more days yet! They are still getting a litre in 20mins however the bloating in my tummy has stayed the same but very bloated in my legs! I can feel the fluid build up there and on my back! I was feeling pretty down yesterday and getting annoyed with the nurses you have to prompt for your meds so was having big gaps without meds and feeling very sick! It's funny how much better you can feel after being drained! My consultant came in this morning and did a teaching session with me and a final year medical student so I've been learning the insides and outs of IVF it also looks like he's going to look into things as bit more as to why our two cycles have been so different! Shortly after I got a call from the unit and they confirmed that the costs for the freeze and the frozen cycle will be absorbed by the unit because f having to cancel on medical grounds which is fab news! 

Love and wishes to everyone!!!


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## Catf2008

Thank you for your kind words lady, it's actually a slight relief knowing it's finally happening as its been hanging over our heads since December, it's just a pain getting the right information to find out where I need to claim and work says one & the government website says another so going to be a lot of running around but in a way I'm glad that I get to leave work earlier as I'm really beginning to struggle and can't wait for next week to hurry up when I leave


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## Ms Gnomer

Sorry *Cat*, I meant to say yesterday that I'm really sorry to hear about your redundancy. It's never nice at the best of times. Thinking of you.

*Katfish*, I wish I could stop by and give you a lovely bunch of flowers and some trashy mags. I really feel for you. I'm glad the bickerer has been discharged though!

AFM I have just been sent my scan date: 09.30 on 07/04/16.


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## Katfish

Catf I hope you get everything sorted soon!

MsGnomer yay a first scan date how exciting will be waiting to hear all about it! Thank you that's such a lovely thing to say too!

AFM - Definitely going to be in still over the weekend. I have to have the drain out for 24h also before the drain comes out and still getting 2l a day! Hopefully that will start to slow down too soon! Watching lots of films and TV on my iPad! I have been very active aswell today a nurse helped me so I could wash my hair too so I feel human again now well slightly more anyway! So tired today after a new noisey neighbour last night but the reasons can't be helped!  

Love to everyone!! X x


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## mrschef04

Katfish - oh honey!  I hope you get out soon!  Sounds like a bit of a nightmare, but you're really keeping your chin up!

Hello to everyone else out there!

AFM - I had a bit of a scare at 8 weeks with a period-like bleed that lasted for two or three wipes and then stopped completely.  Then my morning sickness came on the rest of the week.  As a precaution, I called the EPU and they said that I should rest a bit and no sex for two weeks.    So I haven't been gyming it this week and rested a lot.  I'm still annoyed about my appointment order.  I would prefer to have a scan to see that things are okay first rather than see a midwife.  It seems so pointless.  I'm very impatient now, as it's three weeks and three days left until my appointments.  I hate being in limbo.


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## Ms Gnomer

Oh blimey, that's stressful. I guess they just assume it's all fine and have the experience to say it'll be OK; but that does nothing for your stress levels! Thinking of you, as I know I'd be climbing the walls!

AFM, and this is massively TMI, I've been sh***ing liquid for the past few hours and feel horrendous. I woke up feeling really nauseous at 4am (again), but I think my IBS has kicked off. It doesn't seem to be anything we've eaten, as everyone else is fine, so I think the progesterone is combining with my IBS to give me a really hard time today. I just hope it doesn't affect my pregnancy. At least I'm not spotting at the moment, so that's keeping me hopeful.


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## mrschef04

Ugh, Ms Gnomer, that must be painful and make you feel so weak!  Hey, as long as you aren't spotting, you are fine!  Even if you are spotting, it doesn't mean much.  I had three days of food poisoning (TMI - both ends) just after conception, but the little bugger stayed, so try not to worry too much.  Just rehydrate as much as possible and rest up, honey, if you can!


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## Catf2008

Mrs gnomer - I had that for a while was really worried but midwife said to just keep fluids up x


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## Ms Gnomer

Thanks both. I actually feel a bit better having had breakfast, and I've had loads of water. DH is taking our holiday pals to my favourite beach today for snorkeling, and I'm going to rest by the pool here, with easy access to a bathroom!!


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## Katfish

MrsChef I know tell me about it!!!! That's very stressful. I think you need to try and think that they are obviously not worried so don't feel the need to scan! It's a big thing with the system in the uk that we rarely scan pregnant mothers. 12wks and 20wks and that's it if no issues! It does need improving and ladies need much more confirmation that your baby is well! I would look at studies in your birthing unit you can join! Ours did a growth one they got loads of extra scans and 3D ones too! It's finished now but it was good for those parents! 

MsGnomer I'm sure all will be fine! Glad your feeling a bit better now though! 

AFM - hospital is pretty boring just watched the new version of Annie it's pretty good I'd definitely recommend it! While you are having issues with too much Sh**ing I'm having the opposite which I finally owned up to and they are going to give me something. Nurses are leaving me to my own devices only see one if I need fluids or meds now. I'm pretty excited that the dr from the clinic has said I'm ok to go home for a few hours tomorrow and if my body behaves itself then I can on Sunday too! Still no sign of the drain coming out yet sadly because still draining 2l a day so still needing my transfusions! However I'm getting skinnier again! I have dropped about 2kg since yesterday and about 4cm off my tummy and you can see it! Still trying to move around lots! Waking up in the night weeing too! These may sound like silly things but they are all massive improvements to a few days ago! The dr told me I will be off work for a few weeks because even when the drains out I'm going to feel weak and tired but I can deal with that! Hopefully I'll be home by the Easter weekend!


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## Ms Gnomer

I'm so pleased for you that things are improving. It must be such a relief.


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## MrsRL

Katfish - glad to hear things are looking more positive for you. That will be lovely going home for a few hours and here's hoping that you will be home for Easter weekend. I hope it goes well when you go home  I'm so pleased things are looking up for you anyway.

Ms Gnomer - sorry to hear you are suffering with your ibs. I get ibs too and those pessaries certainly don't help matters. Glad you are starting to feel better, take it easy. Hopefully it won't affect your pregnancy. 

MrsChef - sorry to hear you have had a scare and that you will not be given a scan. Have you thought about looking into having a private scan for reassurance? If it would help to put your mind at ease, it might be worth looking into.

Hello to everyone else, I hope anyone reading is ok 

AFM - I'm so glad it is the weekend, as it has been a very long week!! I feel exhausted this week. We have our initial consultation with the clinic on Monday, so need to get copies of relevant results ready to take there. Looking forward to a nice short week next week due to the Easter weekend  Take care everyone xx


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## mrschef04

Katfish - hey hon!  Always thinking of you!  A movie suggestion that I loved recently - Man Up.  It's a lovely London romantic comedy film.  I'm glad you get to go home soon.  That must be so uncomfortable right now!

MrsRL - Let us know how the clinic visit goes on Monday.  I know, I can't wait for the Easter Weekend too.  Will be happy to have the days off!

AFM - had some pretty bad all-day morning sickness on Thursday and yesterday.  I'm grateful as one of my managers is now on holiday for the next three weeks, so it lets me rest a bit in the lead up to my 12-week antenatal appointments.  Just gotta say though - those that have been on the BFP or "waiting for early scans" boards - did you ever find them a bit freaky?  The amount of miscarriages, etc. on there makes you feel a bit shaky sometimes.  I'm still remaining calm.  There's not much I can do at this point, except wait, but it does creep you out a bit.  However, for the majority of them, a lot of the signs were there that it was a worrying pregnancy (i.e scans dating way behind or no symptoms at all - though that's not always a bad sign), so it's not to say it's truly a regular occurrence.  Poor ladies.  I just feel so horrible for all of them and just the amount of times so many of them have gone through it or the hope/effort put in.  Anyway, not to be a downer, but I just really feel for a lot of them.  I hope you all have a lovely weekend and I'm just looking forward to four days off next weekend!


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## Katfish

MsGnomer they seem to be its a huge relief!

MrsRL thank you! Hope you enjoy your relax this weekend! 

MrsChef ah I have heard of it can't remember if I've seen it but will deffo look it up! I remember that a lot of people on here didn't like the 2ww boards because of the negatives! I can imagine that it's the same for the other boards you mentioned! If I where you I'd just stay with us! I'm glad that your calm though!

AFM - just waiting for my transfusion to finish then I'm off home for a few hours!!! Don't know how long exactly yet! Lunch is going to be pretty late! Drain has definitely slowed as well! Barely anything coming out! Monday is looking more likely for home! But trying not to get my hopes up too!


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## Katfish

Guess what guys!!!!!! I'M HOME!!!!!!!!! 
My drain came out yesterday and I had been told 24h post that I could go home but my consultant was happy to discharge me yesterday. After a very long day yesterday being told I could go at 11.45 and didn't leave the place till 8.45!!! I was so ****** off as DH took half the day off too which was wasted. I'm now from the biggest I was at just over 80kg back down to 70kg and now 4kg to go till I'm back at my starting weight it feels good. There's still quite a bit of fluid there and bloating I've been told I will probs go under my starting weight as my body would have broken down muscle so just need to gradually build that up! Each day I'm getting stronger. It was a very long 12days eating every take away under the sun to avoid hospital food. I've been told to get an appointment by the top consultant of OFU to just review me at some point and discuss what happened and why. One thing that really annoyed me is that multiple people have said you have done this now you don't need to do it again! Now that's on a very large presumption that 1 the FET cycle works and 2 we don't want more than one child. 
My consultant told me I definitely have PCOS and actually looking at the signs and symptoms I do tick a lot of boxes and makes multiple things make sense. Acne, oily skin, extra hair in unwanted areas and of course I'll blame my easy weight gain on it because I can  
AF finally showed her face last night so two more and I can book in! Just a waiting game now!

Hope your all well!


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## MrsLondon

Wow Katfish, you have certainly been through the wars. Glad to hear that you are home and on the up. It must have been so horrible for you. Your motivation is certainly admirable. Just ignore those comments. Many people think they are helping when in fact they have NO idea. 

MrsChef- Hope the morning sickness isn't still causing you grief. As for the early pregnancy boards, they completely freaked me out and was the reason why I stopped coming on here for a while. One I convinced myself that I had a blighted ovum as I had zero symptoms, two I felt so bad and guilty for those who had MC's, esp those who already had failed cycles in the past and three, this is the odd one, I felt sad every time I heard someone was having twins as I had two embryos put back and even though I am/was so grateful for my BFP, felt a bit sad for the embie that didn't stick. Esp as I didn't have any bleeding or anything. It just disappeared. So needless to say I didn't stay on there or join the pregnancy club board either. I'm just happy staying here with you all.

MrsGnomer - Hope the IBS has settled? You must be having such a wonderful holiday. Spotting still gone? Hopefully your lines have got darker too 

Catf - Really sorry to hear about your work, and the way it's all come about. I hope your last day wasn't/isn't too sad. Not sure if it's been or if it's tomorrow or Thursday? Hope it doesn't stress you out too much esp as you're getting so close to your due date.

Rumple - I can't believe you've having 13 months off!!! I'm so jealous    I think I'll probably end up with 7.5 or 8. Will you go back part time? Hope you feeling about the birth? I'm a bit nervous now.

MrsRL - Hi!!!!! Hope you're well? Any news on NHS?? 

xx


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## MrsRL

Katfish - so pleased to hear you are home  You must be very glad! Sorry to hear they messed you around over leaving, it must have been very irritating, but at least you are home now  I hope you manage to see the top consultant at OFU to get some answers as to why it happened. As Mrs London said, ignore the comments. People do mean well and think they are helping you, when they are really not helping! You have been through a horrible time, but it is lovely to see you getting stronger and looking to the next steps of having your FET cycle  It will come around in no time and you will be much stronger by then 

Mrs Chef - how are you feeling now? I hope you are enjoying your manager being off and that your morning sickness isn't too awful.

Mrs London - nice to see you on here  I bet you can't wait for the Easter hols now! I will explain what is happening with me below 

Ms Gnomer - how are you? I hope your IBS has settled down. Are you still on holiday?

Catf - I hope things are ok with you and you're managing to sort out things with your work.

 to everyone else  

AFM - we had our initial consultation at the clinic yesterday. It went ok but because we have done all this before, there wasn't too much she could say really. She spoke about egg sharing quite a bit and we found out they don't match you anymore, they freeze half the eggs and then match them to a suitable person, so we're still looking into this. She was quite nice, but looked at everything in a very evidence-based way. She didn't seem to know who Mr R was and didn't seem keen on us pursuing this, but we will be. On the one hand she was like that, and on the other hand said she couldn't guarantee that we wouldn't have the same outcomes as before with the drop off rate   That is exactly why we are trying to improve the outcomes! She said that there is no evidence to suggest that improving things increases live birth rate, but we want to do everything we can as we were told the embryo quality was due to poor sperm quality and this is not going to change unless we do something about it. I was told I would be on the long protocol this time (I was on short before), as that is what they put most ladies on at the clinic. I knew about this so was half expecting it. I am a bit nervous about it as I have never done the long protocol before, so nervous about how I would react. DH has also been in contact with the doctor, and she won't refer us so that is the end of that. This means we will have to fund his op privately, but in a way that is good as it means it will speed things up a bit. We are just waiting to hear back from Mr R on the cost. Take care everyone xx


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## Catf2008

Mrsrl - all of my rounds were long protocol and it's really not that bad, glad that you are starting to get things moving 

Katfish- great news that you are home, fingers crossed the next few af turn up on time & you get that little embie onboard 

Hello to everyone else 

Afm - last day is this Thursday & im actually ok with it (ask me again tomorrow after 5pm) I'm looking forward to resting for a few weeks & then meeting our little girl


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## mrschef04

Awww, Katfish, you gorgeous gal!  I'm always smiling as you are so dang positive and funny in your posts!  Glad AF has arrived and that you are now home!!!  Rest up, keep your spirits up and I'm so looking forward to following the rest of your journey honey! 

Catf - Enjoy the time off honey!  Glad you get to rest up.  I think I would go crazy at home, so I'm probably going to work up to two weeks before I'm due.  I'm at an office job sitting on my butt, so I think it's safe to do so.  Are you doing some nesting around the house?

MrsLondon - I know what you mean about the other boards.  I'm still always on here, as I do find it to be a big support group, but now I'm trying to find other Moms or women that are pregnant (In person), so I have a little more of a group I can relate to.  None of my friends have children, so trying to find my way.  The thing with the other boards is I've actually taken the time to look at the history of the posts of those that have miscarriages and, it's very sad to say and not in a cruel way, but the signs were all there from the start with the majority of them, so as guilty as I feel, I don't feel as worried.  The majority of them had absolutely no pregnancy symptoms up until 10 weeks, their scans were very far behind (i.e. more than a week from the start).  Then there are the others where it is a surprise, and I just feel like it sort of made me feel that reading them made me realise that everything is out of my control and that there is nothing else I can do, except wait.  Whatever happens, happens.  Even if it's painful.  Sorry if I seem so deep, but I've now got 2 1/2 weeks left before my antenatal appointment and my 12-week scan and I've had so many times of bleeding on and off through the whole thing, that I wouldn't be surprised by anything anymore.

MrsRL - How do you feel about the whole consultation?  The protocols always worry me, as for my high FSH, long protocol would have suppressed me too much, so that's why they went for short, flare.  How are feeling about going for long protocol?  I guess, in a way, she is right in saying that it can be difficult to improve things a lot, but it's always worth trying.  I don't like doctors sometimes.  They just seem so black and white about things and sometimes, because they are so scientific, I feel like they don't really mince words when it comes to these things.  In reality, I almost feel like fertility requires a bit of emotion and optimism and not just a bunch of drugs or clinical research. 

AFM - the last two days, my morning sickness has calmed down.  I have it a little bit, but it's starting to decline a bit and I'm not having it full on for days on end.  I guess that means the placenta is taking over.  I'm 9 1/2 weeks now and just waiting it out.  I had a slight bleed yesterday again, but (sorry for TMI) then I have been a little constipated, so I think the strain kind of didn't help.  I just don't freak out about these things anymore.  I've bled so many times through this, that I don't know what to expect at my 12-week appointments.  Also, just a quick question - how long did any of you pregnant ladies exercise throughout your pregnancy?  I'm thinking of going on until the very end as much as possible.


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## Katfish

MrsLondon exactly even the people who are involved with the fertility side of things really don't understand because nobody does till they have gone through it themselves! How are you?!

MrsRL it was really hard to bite my tongue and I was finding it difficult to complain as I know myself it's not easy with discharges but we would really chase things and step it up after a certain point which the ward where not doing at all! Glad you had your first appointment who was it with?! OFU don't really believe in anything helping quality! I think it's because it's very fact based and because there is no evidence that things will work to improve quality! That's right OFU do use the LP a lot more than SP in fact success rates are supposedly higher with LP! It's s shame that the GP will not refer but at least self funding will be faster! 

Catf thank you! It's a very exciting time! Have you got any name ideas?!

MrsChef ahh thank you!  the Gynae ward complimented me on my positivity! Glad the morning sickness has calmed down again! Don't talk about constipation I had an awful time of it and still not quite out the others use (excuse the pun) it's awful isn't it! The 12 wk appointment is getting closer and hopefully all will be fine for you from then on! As I've previously said quite a few people bleed throughout! 

AFM - still at home thank god! Still weeing rather frequently and still looking bloated but again lost 2.5kg so only 2kg left till starting weight! Then it's expected to go bellow that! My tummy is still very bloated too! For some reason since yesterday I've started feeling nauseous again which is a bit of a pain in the bum but maybe related to the lactulose the clinic said may just still be the fluid that's making me feel like it too! Luckily the dr who has called me randomly during my time in Gynae called today and he passed my notes on so I've now got an appointment with the head of OFU Tim on the 29th April I have a feeling I may be working but they will have to move my shift! He wasn't keen on the idea of prescribing me any provera to help with the next two bleeds but said if it hasn't arrived by 30days then the clinic can send me a prescription in the post! So onwards and upwards! I hate being in limbo land but hopefully the time will fly by!


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## MrsRL

Hello Ladies. 

Catf - I hope today goes ok for you and you enjoy resting before meeting your little girl  Thanks for that with the long protocol. I find it confusing how they choose and I was put on short protcol before, but I know most clinics use long protocol for the majority of women.

Mrs Chef - Good news that your sickness has calmed down. I think bleeding is common and some people do bleed all the way through. I hope your 12 week scan goes really well and it soon comes around for you. I feel ok about the consultation but didn't feel like we learnt a lot because we have done it before. As I said to Catf, I find the protocols confusing and don't understand how they choose. My FSH was under 10, which is what I was told they need and AMH wasn't that low so I don't know why I was on short protocol. My old clinic was useless at telling me anything though. I know it can be hard to improve things, but I think it is definitely worth a try because DH's samples have got worse in a short space of time and it's only likely to go downhill. I trust in the urologist and he knows what he is saying when it comes to men, whereas the clinics never focus on the men. They don't have enough evidence to prove these things work yet sadly. You're very wise and said it perfectly about doctors, I agree fertility does require some emotion and optimism, especially to keep you going. I guess you have to look elsewhere for that, such as this forum. Although our urologist is also good at this side of things as well.

Katfish - I will PM you to let you know who the appointment was with. I know that they are very evidenced based and unless they have the research and facts, they are not interested. I find a lot of the clinics aren't interested in male infertility though and see that they can overcome it with ICSI etc. As I said to MrsChef, DH's samples have got progressively worse in a short space of time so we want to do something. We both trust in the urologist more than any of the consultants, because they are for women more than men, so we're hoping to improve things, even if it is only slightly. How did you find the LP when you did it? I had a feeling the GP wouldn't fund it anyway as she is not great at the best of times and always moans! She moaned when I had blood tests as part of the nhs funded cycle! Glad you are still at home. Sorry you are still nauseous though, have you mentioned it to the clinic or anything? We met Tim when we went to the open evening there, I hope you get some answers from him. Hopefully the time will fly for you, the way this year is going, I'm sure it will 

Hello to everyone else!

AFM - we are looking at May for DH's op so it will soon come around. In the meantime, I will arrange the bloods etc that I am required to do. We have discussed that we would preferably like to cycle again in October time, so at least we have something to aim for now as being in limbo is not great at times xx


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## mrschef04

Hi Ladies - thought I'd give a shout out and see how everyone is doing?  

AFM - I'm 10 weeks and 5 days.  Morning sickness has started to wane the last few days.  Each day it's less and less.  I feel pretty lucky as all I've been is nauseous for about 5 weeks and that's it.  Midwife appointment on Tues, 12th April and scan on Weds, 13th April, so not long now...  Just 11 days left before I get my final answers.  I really can't wait, so I can properly start planning and moving on.  I also had to start looking at nursery care, as there are very long waiting lists for them in London.  Even with schools!  My god!  A whole new world of admin has opened up!  Lol!


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## Catf2008

Mrschef- the time is flying by, your scan will be here before you know and you'll see that little heartbeat again

Afm - well I'm now 35 weeks my baby girl will be here in 5 weeks, at the moment baby is not head down and if she is stil breech on the 11th April I'll be booked in for a c section.


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## mrschef04

Catf-I know it's hormones, but I had a little tear in my eye for you.  I remember reading all about you and how it was your third round and that you were worried when you were bleeding.  And now?  You're 5 weeks away, darling.  I'm so so so so happy for you!  That's crazy about the breech.  Have they suggested anything to help flip it, like chiropractics or moxibustion?  You hear all of these weird things, so just checking...


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## Catf2008

It's crazy Mrschef how fast it's gone, they said if she is still breech they will just book me in for a c section, my hospital is very cautious when it comes to IVF pregnancy so they like to keep things simple.


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## Katfish

MrsChef just over a week now till your scan! I get you completely on feeling nauseous! With the fluid I had really bad nausea! Annoyingly it came back when I got home! Weirdly eating seemed to solve it! Was a good excuse to eat chocolate  thankfully touch wood it's gone now for me and it keeps improving and will soon be gone for you too!

CatF it's very very close now and I'm sure your so very excited! One thing they say is crawling on all fours can help baby to turn! Fingers crossed she turns for you so you don't have to have a c-section! 

AFM - I'm dreading but getting ready to return to work on Wednesday I'm starting with a half day to they get back to a full shift next week! I'm not sure if I'm ready I know I'm rushing things too but I'm really fed up of being "ill" and in pain I just want my life back and to enjoy things until our FET! It's my birthday at the end of the month too! The DH worked out that hopefully our FET cycle will mean that transfer will happen in July which is the same time in our last cycle and if all goes well then the due date would again be the week between our birthdays which would have been the case previously! How funny! Two more AF appearances to go!


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## mrschef04

Katfish - wow!  July!  That will be great!  You're just as impatient as me about life!  I can't bear sitting about!  How are you feeling?

AFM - Yes, Katfish.  Antenatal appointment next week on Tuesday afternoon and the scan/nuchal tests on Wednesday morning at 10.30am.  Finally down to the last week.  I'm a bit weirded out by some other ladies that have BFPs on the boards.  They are all just before 12 weeks and already buying baby stuff.  I just can't bring myself to do it yet.  Not until I get the all-clear with the 12-week and the tests.  It just doesn't seem worth opening up that can of worms.  The main thing I've bought are a pack of 10 used maternity dresses on gumtree for £17.  They are great!  Two of them are for now until mid-second trimester and the rest are for maternity wear.  Very happy with them.  I just don't see the point in spending too much money on those things.  The main thing I did plan for was I took the whole day off work after my scan, just in case I got bad news.  If I don't get bad news, I'll go and have a quick lunch and then wander through Mothercare for the first time as a proper mom.  I'm still not getting the full maternal thing yet and it does worry me that I won't have a life after the birth, but I'm just going to go with the flow and see how it goes.


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## Katfish

MrsChef hopefully all depends on good old AF! I'm actually in pain again! I'm awaiting a call from the clinic to see what's going on! It was 2wks ago that the drain came out so I shouldn't still be in pain! I get what you mean it's a bit crazy people buying things already! I get looking at bits but actually buying!! Have a look on next clearance they always have loads of maternity bits on there! I think that once you have had your scan that you will be able to relax and those feelings will start to come out! Things is you will have a life it's just your priorities will all change!


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## mrschef04

Thanks, Katfish.  Keep us updated on how the pain is and how things are going for you.  I'm amazed by how positive you have been!

AFM - I'm going to have a momentary freak out on here, as I can't on the other boards or really with others.  Another person on the early scans board went in for their 9 week scan and baby had died.  She said that her nausea is completely gone over the last ten days.  Mine has been feeling better each day.  I seem to have it in the evenings from 6pm now.  So I have to load up on salted crackers and stuff.  7 days to go for me before my 12-week scan... I will be 12 weeks and three days by then.  I hope things are okay.  I've been feeling better and my nausea is fading.  Not all the way, but almost there.  My energy is about 80%, although I still have to go to sleep early like an old person and have to have at least 8 to 9 hours each night.


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## Katfish

I am a quite positive person to be honest!  and always smiley! Might have my moments but we all do! Try not to think about these things too much! It's like we say to parents at work don't google! Because you will see every scenario and more often in this one you will see the worst ones!

AFM - had appointment at clinic today there is no fluid around the ovaries and a good blood flow to the ovaries aswell which is a good sign that there is no twisted tubes! They think that it may just be uncomfortable because I had 60 eggs so it was a lot of stabbing my ovaries so that's most likely why I am still in pain and they are still large too but much smaller follies! They had said that there is nothing wrong on a fertility side so if the pain continues or gets worse then I would have to go through my GP. 
I asked about the embryos that where frozen! Turns out the one frozen on day 5 was actually a bit early! So not quite a blast! The one on day 6 was good but obviously it was a day behind itself! Fingers crossed that these not quite so perfect embies will work for us in a few months time!! A very impatient me says!!
Today was also my first day back at work!! It was ok but then I didn't actually do much! I was in pain at the end but that was also when my pain killers where also running out so that's probs why! Hopefully soon I will be able to stop taking them! At least I know at the same time that I have got Codine still left over so if it gets to a point that they don't cut it I have those to take!


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## Rumplestiltskin

Katfish - so glad you're getting back to normal, you've had such a time of it! Keeping everything crossed for your frosties! 

MrsChef - it's totally normal that your MS is tailing off now, so try not to read too much into it. The early scan boards can be so tough - it's heartbreaking to see others' losses. It does not mean it'll happen to you, though. I've spent this whole pregnancy mentally ticking off milestones where friends have lost their babies - there's one left, but all I can do is hope and tell myself that what happened to her was incredibly rare. Let us know as soon as you've had your 12 week scan. I also get your reluctance to buy things - I was in the 3rd trimester before I bought any baby clothes, and buying maternity clothes was a slow burn. I was really lucky, and got given a load by a colleague, which has been a lifesaver. 

Catf - my friend had a c-section for a breech baby, and she found it a very positive experience - very calm and a special bonding day for her and her DH. Hope it all goes smoothly for you. 

MrsRL - sounds like you have everything under control - May is not long to go until your DH's op. Good luck! I think having a schedule really helps getting through the limbo - otherwise it can seem like an eternity. 

MrsLondon - I'll probably have a phased return where I use up leave working 4 days a week. Not entirely certain - it's so hard to know how you're going to feel after such an epic life change! I realise that I'm super lucky to be able to take so much time off - can't believe that the 3rd week of mat leave is nearly over already - it's racing by. 

MsGnomer - hope you're feeling better - the progesterone can really mess you up. 

Sorry for anyone I've missed, I've been thinking of all of you  

AFM - hit 37 weeks yesterday, so officially "full term", and he could come any day now. Hoping he hangs on to be a bit closer to his actually due date, though! Every time they check him he's growing well, and doing fine - head down, starting to get ready for arrival. I think in my mind I'm just glossing over the birth part - it'll happen, there'll be a story, then he'll be here.


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## Catf2008

Mrschef - I had days where I had no morning sickness at all and freaked but I was told by my midwife that they come and go, I'm sure everything is ok, not long till you get to see little one again.

Rumple - yay to being 37 weeks and full term, not long now till you get to meet little one 

Katfish - my fingers are crossed for you and those 2 little blasts

Afm - well I'm 36 weeks today and it's been the day from hell, hubby ended up at a&e this morning after falling through a glass side table that we had in the garden which we were throwing out, lucky no glass in the cuts but we've had to pay for new glasses as he smashed them up, then I blew a tyre out on the car and to top it off we ended up back at the hospital to be monitored as baby wasn't moving much and the little moo started moving once they hocked us up, think she will be little monkey once out


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## mrschef04

Katfish - glad everything is getting back to normal a bit for you!  Can't wait to hear your next milestones!

Catf - Jesus, what a time for you!  Glad everything is all right with your little monkey.  Do you count kicks as well?

Rumplestiltskin - 37 weeks!  Wow!  I hope it hits your due date exactly where you want it!  

AFM - I had bleeding again yesterday, very early morning, after DH and I DTD.  I'm beginning to get a little depressed and lose a bit of hope for my scan next week.  I just keep bleeding every few weeks after something small.  I know it's just a few more days, but I'm so nervous...


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## Katfish

Rumplestiltskin ooo very exciting!!! Not long now! 

Catf2008 oh dear you did have a time of it! That always happens! I know multiple people who end up in MAU then baby shows off! 

MrsChef I'm wondering if you have an ectropion I had one and meant that after DTD I bleed! Maybe that's why you keep having these bleeds but little ones ok! Not long now till your app and scan!!!


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## Stini

Hello ladies!
MrsChef has chased me back over here again, so I wanted to say a quick hello to everyone before I wander through the last few pages and try and get an idea of how you're all doing. I hope some of you still remember me: I found the early pregnancy boards very daunting and missed you all when I got to the May babies board and didn't know anyone, so gradually stopped using FF altogether. So good that you guys are all back here again. I'm so sorry to have neglected you.

Like Catf and Rumplestiltskin, I'm only a few weeks off meeting the little fella (we weren't going to find the sex out, but he rolled over and flashed us): 36+4 today. In a weird little twist , I was going through some old diaries and noticed that yesterday marked four years since we started trying to conceive. Lots of emotions no. Anyway, it's so good to see you all again. I am a big heavy beast on maternity leave who struggles to get off the sofa, so will try and check in regularly.
Xxxx


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## Katfish

Lovely to hear from you Stini! What a shame that he ruined it for you! It was obviously his way of saying I don't want any  neutral things I want blue! Was this a 3D scan you had?!

AFM - my DH has booked a trip away to Chester in a spa the weekend after next for my birthday so feeling very excited and looking forward to that!
I did just now though feel slightly down that the scar from my drain which I'm sure if going to be a  permanent fixture on my body now will always be on show during the time you can wear a bikini and a continues reminder too! It's one dot in the middle and 4 around it where they stitched it in place! But as soon as I look down its the first thing that I can see!
A mum at work today along with a member of staff where talking about how they completely lost their dignity during labour! The one thing about IVF is you definitely loose that with the treatment. Especially when the dr is sat down there, you have your legs in the stirrups and can't see him and he's talking to you and occasionally popping his eyes above the "dignity" sheet while the embryologist walks in again at that end of the bed before and after transfer until they can confirm that yes it's in there! And you can finally hide yourself at the same time as being so scared to move incase it "falls out"!


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## mrschef04

Katfish - oh dear!  I'm so sure it will fade with time, though?  Maybe you should go on "tattoo fixers" lol!  They probably would take you on!  

Stini - lol!  Ah, so you did get back on here!  Welcome back!!!!!

AFM - I woke up on Saturday and then pottered about the house before sitting in bed on the laptop and when I got up, I had bled through my pyjamas and soaked the bedsheets.  It was all dark brown, though, so I wasn't sure.  When I went to the bathroom, a whole handful of brown stringy stuff came out and I just freaked out.  I went to A&E and they said EPU would call and no one did.  So I rang DH (who was out of town) and said, I'm booking a private scan, so I can quick worrying and get on with my life.  He agreed.

I had my private scan today and baby was fine!  My DH came to join me.  Said he couldn't bear it if I was alone for it.  The baby kept bouncing around, waving at us, bouncing around again and then it turned its back on us and then shifted to its tummy.  We heard the heartbeat as well.  Apparently, we're way more ahead than we thought.  I usually have 25-day menstrual cycles and my last period date was 17th Jan, so EDD was 23rd October.  I had a scan at around 6 weeks and they dated it at 6 weeks plus one.  Now, when I thought I was 12 weeks on the dot, they say it's measuring 13 weeks, so my DD is 16th October now!  She could barely get a measurement as he was so active, but she said the growth was healthy at 68mm and 150 bpm heartbeat.  My nuchal is on Wednesday, but it's at Guys, so I get the results back within an hour.  Once that's all clear, we can finally make an announcement.  Have now pinned my baby on board badge on, so people can quit pushing me on the tube and had a leisurely walk through Mothercare before realising that it's quite overpriced, so looking online for cool things for baby now!!!  I can't believe it's just 6 months left!!!


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## Katfish

It will fade a bit I think but it will always show! I'm so so happy for you MrsChef!!! That must have been so scary fit you again! Your obviously just going to be one of these people who bleed throughout! I wouldn't take the measurements too seriously because a friend of mine her partner had been away for about a year! He returned and she got pregnant when they dated her through her scan it said that she became pregnant before he was even in the country! They are both tall people! Good luck for Wednesday and also for your scan a on Thursday!  ASDA do some nice baby grows and bits as does Sainsburys!


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## Stini

MrsChef: WOOHOO! That's absolutely brilliant news. I was on tenterhooks reading that post. Do you feel that you can relax a little now? As I mentioned, I've had both a close friend and an irritating sister-in-law who bled all the way through their preganancies and were fine - it might mean that they watch you a little more closely but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I've been down as high-risk pregnancy the full term and feel pretty secure about it.  Blimming delighted for you. 

Agree with Katfish on dating scans - especially because Rumplestiltskin and I had IVF on the same day, but IIRC, you're measuring a week earlier than me... 

Katfish - no, that was just our 20 week scan where you can find out the sex. It was pretty difficult to un-see... (I find 3D scans a bit freaky!)


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## Catf2008

Mrschef - great news that baby Is growing well, how are you feeling now?

Stini - great to see you back on here, how are you feeling about the birth?

Katfish - a weekend booked away, how lovely bet you can't wait for that

AFM- well had our scan on Monday & little one is still breech so I'm booked in for a c section on the 26th


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## mrschef04

Hey Stini - yes, they say the bleeding is nothing to worry about!  Yep, now that I've had my nuchal tests as well today and had another scan, they saw no problems with my baby or the bleeding.  There wasn't anything that showed why I was bleeding.

Catf - whoa!  13 days left for you!  I'm sorry it's a c-section, but I'm glad that everything is okay.

Katfish - thanks for the advice on Asda!  I like what they had and it's cheap too!  No point in spending loads on clothing for a child.  That's my opinion, anyway.  A spa... Oh... I'm just thinking about that and feel I could use it.  The first 12 weeks of pregnancy suck.  I think I'm definitely one of those people that don't really enjoy pregnancy, but just get on with it.

AFM - had my nuchal tests and dating scan properly today and my EDD moved to 20/10/16 and they said that should be the final one, so I'm looking like 12 weeks and 6 days.  My results came back as 1:933 for downs and 1:4893 and 1:15345 for edwards and patau, so I don't think I'll do the harmony test.  Feeling a bit tired today.  Still can't get my head around being a parent yet.  I have a feeling it will kind of shock the sh** out of me once I have the baby.  Does anyone think they'll have their own life still after a baby?  I don't want to be one of those women that don't do anything but talk about shopping and their babies and that's it (I'm a tomboy, you can tell).  Also, does anyone else on here think that spending over £200 on a pram is a bit shocking?  The thing is as big as a smart car too.. What the heck happened?  I don't mean to sound like a guy, but you almost want to throw it in a wheelbarrow or a red wagon with a bunch of pillows instead...


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## Stini

That's excellent news, MrsChef. I still get a wee thrill every time I think about this. So glad it's all happening for you. Yeah, I'm really hoping to be able to continue my old life as much as possible: we've already booked baby-friendly options for a (very gentle) music festival in June, as well as a fair bit of travel to see pals in the rest of the country over the summer. 

Catf, how are you feeling about the section? At least you know how everything is going to go?

AFM: bit of a shock after our scan yesterday. The wee one isn't growing as well as he should be, so they've decided to induce me ON SATURDAY. The shock has faded a little now, but it's 4.30 and I've been lying awake for the last hour making frantic lists of all the things that need done before Friday night. Some weird second-sense bit of me had ordered a shedload of newborn Pampers and booked a full house clean (I can't bend, and we've had a load of renovations = DUST) for yesterday, so at least we're prepared. But still in shock, and can't quite shake the guilt that he didn't grow as well as he should have inside me.


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## Catf2008

Mrschef - glad everything is going well for you, I know what you mean about prams, we spent £300 on ours and still think that's a lot

Stini - ekkkkk to being induced on Saturday, I bet you can't wait to meet little one, don't feel guilty about baby not growing as much some babies just slow down towards the end

I'm feeling ok about the c section was a bit upset at first as felt like I'd failed at it all but I know it's the safest route for her and me so I'm happy with that.


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## mrschef04

Stini - holy crap!  That's wild!  I wouldn't feel all guilty about him growing more.  We've all done the best we can with what we have.  No point worrying and just look ahead.  That's good you have trips planned.  I'm planning on doing the same, particularly for my birthday again.  

Catf - lol!  Yea, and £300 is actually reasonable, judging from everything on there!

AFM - Now, just looking forward to moving into the new flat with baby room.  I can actually start nesting!  lol!


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## MrsLondon

Wowsa some exciting things going on. 

MrsChef so happy that all is going well with you. Was really nervous reading your posts. Must be so worrying having bleeds but fantastic that all seems fine. I know what you mean about the pram. They are SO expensive. I was going to get a second hand one but my mother-in-law wanted to buy us a new one so I let her.

Stini- so lovely to hear from you. I can't believe you're being induced Saturday. How exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. Can't wait to hear the news.

Catf- glad you're feeling ok about the c-section. The most important thing is your health and the baby's so it doesn't matter how she comes out.

Rumple- how are you?? So just the waiting game now though. Can't wait to hear all about it. Good luck!!! 

Katfish - sorry to hear that you're feeling down re your scar but see it more as a badge of honour for all you've been through.

Hi to MrsRL and MrsGnomer hope you're both ok.

As for me, I'm 37 weeks tomorrow so will on watch from there on out. Was in hospital Sunday due to reduced movements but all fine and had a scan yesterday which confirmed that baby is still ok. Head is down, she's slightly bigger than average on the growth chart but that doesn't mean anything as they can't really predict an actual weight. I'm still at work!!! Have another two weeks to go. Leaving when I'm 39 weeks. I was working right up until my due date but decided that it's probably best to have some time off before. That's if she doesn't come early. 

Looking forward to hearing about the upcoming births. Hope all those who are still cycling are doing well.

Lots of love xx


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## Rumplestiltskin

Wow, Stini, Saturday! So despite them changing my dates (well remembered...they put me ahead 5 days at my dating scan) looks like you'll beat me to the punch   Good luck, I'll be thinking of you   

Mrs London, can't believe you're still at work, you're much more determined than I am! Glad they were able to reassure you on movement, hope it's all smooth for you now.

Mrschef - wow, like Stini, my heart was in my mouth reading your post! Sounds like you've got a little fighter in there! And yes, I'm freaking out at the idea of being a parent...I think it's especially hard when, like us, you've been through so much, and really the main way to cope is to tell yourself that you don't need to be a parent, that your life will be great without kids...it's a total head***k to then be pregnant. I'm sure we'll get there. It's just a bit of a special road that we've ended up taking. On the cost of baby stuff, I wish we'd realised as quickly as you that Mothercare was a rip off. Bought our cot and changing table from them for exorbitant amounts of money, and both were faulty, it's taken weeks to sort out, and has been super stressful, so you're totally right to steer clear of them.

Katfish, I agree, your scar is definitely a badge of honour; you've been such an amazing fighter through a totally horrendous experience.

Littlesmall, how are you doing? Still hanging in there?

What about Melly and our other ladies currently in or between cycles? I just keep thinking about how I was in the middle of our second failed cycle this time last year, and now I'm sat here waiting to go into labour. It's all mad, and I'm wishing positive outcomes for you all.

AFM, just waiting, really! Had another patch of reduced movement, but checked out fine, and wriggling away like anything now. Every time I get a braxton hicks I keep wondering "is this it?!" but so far he seems pretty comfy where he is. 

Catf, wow, the 26th  Glad you're feeling happier about the section - a friend of mine had one for a breech baby, and she said that, despite initially feeling disappointed and guilty, the day of the section was actually a really lovely, special and positive experience. I hope that's how it'll be for you.


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## Melly2015

Hi Ladies, 

Popped on here to see how you were doing....things are getting quite exciting now for the mummies-to-be!!!   

Catf- sorry to hear you’ll have to have a c-section...at least you know you’ll definitely be meeting your little monkey very soon, and it’s the safest option for her, which is the main thing. Exciting times!!!  

Mrschef- glad you’re ok after your scare. As some of the others have said, you might just be one of the ladies who bleeds on and off throughout pregnancy...once the little one is all ok, that’s the main thing  

Stini- lovely to hear from you, such a shame your little man spoiled the surprise for you. Wow- Saturday!!! Wishing you all the best for tomorrow, will be keeping my fingers crossed and I can’t wait to hear that your little man has arrived. Don’t feel guilty about anything, lots of babies slow down a bit at the end, and he’s probably just decided he’s a bit too eager to meet you  

Katfish- glad you’ve got the trip away to look forward to. I kinow what you mean about losing our dignity a bit through the IVF process- you just get used to getting undressed and putting your knees apart every time you see one of those scanning chairs!!! Don’t worry too much about your scar, I have one the whole way down my tummy from an operation I had about 10 years ago- it just adds some individuality   How long do you have to wait before ET? 

MrsLondon- can’t believe you’re still at work!!! Well done! Hope you’re feeling ok, and just think- you’ll get the extra time with your little one when she arrives  

Rumplestiltskin- glad everything is ok with baby- hopefully he won’t be too super comfortable and keep you waiting ages!!!  

Hope everyone else is ok  

AFM- I’m in the middle of the joys of down regulation...again   ! It has taken me a little while to be emotionally ready for this after my chemical pregnancy back in December. Unfortunately I’ve had about 6 people announce their pregnancies in the last 3 weeks which just feels like one hit after another. I have my baseline scan on the 26th, so hopefully I’ll be ready to move onto stimms then. As with my FET, I’ve had the scratch and will be having intralipids too. They are also going to be giving me clexane with this time....I’ve heard that the needles for that one are horrible...but I’m willing to do anything really   . So keeping all the fingers and toes crossed for this time round and hopefully in 9 months time I’ll be in a similar position to some of you lovely ladies!    

I’ll keep popping on here now, as I’m really looking forward to hearing about the arrival of our cycle buddy babies!!!


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## Rumplestiltskin

Melly, great to hear from you! So sorry you've had rough few weeks with all those announcements...it just sometimes feels like everyone in the world gets pregnant easily, doesn't it?  

Just wanted to say about the clexane, since I had that for my last 2 cycles (and kept on for the whole first trimester), and yes, they do hurt a lot more than stims, but lying back and really pinching the skin helps. Plus, a tip from a friend who had to use it through a couple of pregnancies, is to inject at night if you can, as it reduces the bruising to not have waistbands rubbing on the injection sites. 

Good luck- with the scratch, clexane and intralipids, you're really covering all the bases   keep us posted!


----------



## Katfish

Stini ah right I get you! What a monkey! I had a mum at work last night and her scenographer hoovered slightly too long over a particular area and she noticed it was a boy but kept it quite and didn't even say to her husband! Oh my god tomorrow?!?!?!?! I hope that all goes well and I wish the three of you all the best in advance! Please remember though they may induce but not much happen straight away! We shall await to hear your news!

Catf oh my goodness not long at all now! Don't feel bad about having a section! *sorry Stini don't read * Think that your pelvic floor will not be turned into mush!

Mrschef that's fab new about your test results you must be very relieved! Regarding buggys yes they cost a fortune but the one I love and will want when it's my time is £800+  

MrsLondon sorry that little one being a bit of a monkey! She just wants you to see her more!! Wow 37wks your classed as term now! 

Rumplestiltskin ah thanks you! Hopefully it will definitely be and we will get a little one out of it! 

Melly haha exactly when I went for a check up the other day I felt like stripping as I walked though the door! I have to wait two more bleeds I think I'm coming up to day 28 soon but that says nothing for me! Hopefully it will be June/July time! Glad that you are cycling again it's such a shame that you had a chemical pregnancy but hopefully this time will be the one! Fingers crossed we will both have bumps this year!

AFM - after three very long night shifts I am now on a/l for my birthday!!! I am waiting for an appointment with the pelvic pain clinic as I am still in pain and I think that my pelvic floor spasms are back! A friend and I are going to clarks village in Somerset on Sunday for the night and a shopping trip, birthday Wednesday then my spa treat on Friday! Can't wait!!!


----------



## mrschef04

MrsLondon – wow, 37 weeks!  Good luck with everything.  I’m working up until my due date for now.  I’ll see how things go.

Rumplestiltskin – Glad things are going okay.  Are you counting kicks then?  Apparently, that’s something you have to do during the third trimester.  

Melly – glad you are going back in and I’m wishing you all the best.  I really would love to see you in the same position as us!

Katfish – on leave now!  Wow!  Glad that you get a spa treat!  That will be wonderful!

AFM – I got really upset with another lady at work here.  Two of them, in fact.  They got all critical and up their own arses about me working up until my due date and then only taking 5 ½ months off for maternity leave instead of the full year.  Well, they only pay 4 months full pay here and then it’s statutory pay, which doesn’t give you a lot, so that’s why.  Then they kept saying, “oh, but the baby is so small and aren’t you even remotely worried about it?”  What a crap statement to say to someone!  Then the other one piped up and said, “that’s why money is the key to all happiness.”  The other one answered, “yes, being with someone with money.”  What a couple of absolute tw**s!  Finally, after they both kept egging me on, “Look, mate.  I get it.  It’s just the way it is, but I don’t need someone making me feel bad about the amount of time I’m taking.  There’s no point.”  I really don’t get on with a lot of women for this reason.  No longer speaking to either of them ever again.


----------



## Catf2008

Mrschef - don't worry what other people say, I was originally working till the week before my due date but did change it later on but obviously for me things changed & it's totally up to you when you go back, in my last company someone came back after 8 weeks as they couldn't afford to be off due to money, you do what is best for your family.

Katfish - yay to being on leave now, hope you have a nice relaxing time off

Stini - I hope everything has gone ok for you & little one has arrived safely

Melly - hope everything is going ok for you

Hope everyone else is ok

Afm - it's hit me this morning that I'm having a baby next week


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## mrschef04

Catf- thanks hon.  They were just really mean comments.  Wow.  You are having a baby next week.  It's wild, isn't it?  I still can't comprehend it yet, but I know my next six months will go so fast.  That must feel like something else.  Imagine... We just were getting started last year, eh?  

Stini - I keep getting caught up with figuring what to say.  All I have to say, is that I wish nothing but the best for you.  I hope things went well on the weekend, darling.  I'm sure you're terribly busy, but just hope you got your little delivery in your arms, safe and sound.

AFM - I bought my first baby gro to take baby home in..


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## Rumplestiltskin

MrsChef, people can't help sticking their oar in, can they Sadly, I think whatever you do, especially regarding children (having them/not having them, when, how many, and then every little decision you make along the way...) people feel they have a right to comment. It's none of their business. You make the decisions that are best for you. 

Yes, the kick counting thing has become a lot more complicated; for a while, the advice was looking for a specific number of kicks per hour, but now it's noticing any change in the baby's normal pattern of movement, which, personally, I find more stressful. But when you go and get checked, they're really nice to you, so you don't feel you're wasting their time 

Thinking of you, Stini, hoping it's all going well.


----------



## Katfish

Stini, Rumplestiltskin and MrsLondon any signs of little ones yet?!

CatF I think if my memory is correct it was c-section day today! I hope that all went well and you are busy enjoying your new little family!

AFM - still plodding along got out follow-up on Thursday now instead of Friday going to be very tired as I'm on nights at the moment! Typically AF showed her face on my birthday just two days before going on the spa break!!! But that does mean I can book in on my next bleed I think! At least she showed her face on her own on day 31!!!  Let's hope the next one of nice and prompt too!


----------



## Catf2008

Katfish - it was supposed to be today but got moved to Friday as they wanted to make sure her lungs are ok and if they had delivered today I would of had to have steroids and I don't react well to them   fingers crossed that AF keeps coming regular for you x


----------



## Katfish

CatF ah right I see well fingers crossed all goes well Friday I'll be thinking of you! X X. X


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## mrschef04

Catf - fingers crossed for you.  I'm really rooting for you hon!

Stini and MrsLondon - a big shout out to both of you.  I really hope you are both doing well and I know you must be tired and busy!  Lots of love to you both!

Katfish - That's inconvenient, but at least you can get going again on your next AF.

AFM - doing fine.  It's hard dealing with the fact you don't have as much control over your body.  I'm almost 15 weeks and I'm noticing a difference.  I breathe a little heavier (as I have exercise-induced asthma) and I just get a little winded or tired easier.  It is frustrating.  I'm not enjoying the physical aspect of being pregnant at all.  Every day, I'm just counting the weeks down.  I'm not worried about the sleepless nights or how the baby will affect me and my life afterwards.  Once baby is out, I have a lot of energy anyway, can get by on 6 hours of sleep a night and drink plenty of coffee and wine anyway.  I pretty much planned everything, including all childcare, to a tee!  I have purchased two things so far - it's going home babygro and the pram, as I found one used for £50, so I'm very happy!


----------



## MrsLondon

Hello lovelies,

No news from me yet. Still at work for another two days and baby due next Friday. I'm so glad I changed my mat leave to have a week off as I'm feeling it now for sure. Think I've been getting braxton hicks this morning. My tummy and back aches but not contracting. A member of public gave birth outside my school this morning which was amusing. The kids all thought it was me. Had the ambulance in our school car park for a while as they did checks etc. 

Catf good luck for Friday, hope it all goes well. Will be thinking of you. 

Stini- hope you're well, look forward to hearing how it all went.

Rumple- anything?! Thinking of you too.

Katfish - not long till you're able to get going and glad AF showed up nice a regular. 

MrsChef - nice to hear your update. Sounds like you found a decent bargain with your pram! You go girl  . I'm pretty uncomfortable a lot of the time these days, it only gets worse the bigger you get. Plus I've started to snore!!! Hope you can find something that helps you deal with being tired etc. I had lots of baths which helped. 

Hope everyone is well?? I have to rush off and observe a lesson.

Lots of love xx


----------



## Catf2008

Mrschef - well done on the pram,  we got given a lot of stuff so haven't really had to buy much which has been help, so I would say if anyone offers you stuff take it.

Mrslondon- not long to go now, glad you get a week to relax before baby is due

Stini - I hope everything is going ok

How is everyone else doing

AFM - I really can't wait till tomorrow, I know I'll be in a lot of pain but I'm ready to have my baby now, everything aches so much (parts no one tells you will ache) and I just want to meet my little one


----------



## Catf2008

Baby Scarlett was born today weighing 8lb


----------



## Rumplestiltskin

Congratulations, catf! Beautiful name, and lovely weight, well done!     

Mrschef, I'm sorry you're struggling with the physical aspects...it can be really weird, and the amount your body changes is crazy...makes me very jealous of men! Take care of yourself...I overdid things at 12 weeks, and messed up my feet, so could hardly walk for 4 months.

MrsLondon, hope you're enjoying your mat leave now, try and get some rest while you can.

Katfish, AF is always so awkward! Hope your follow up went well. Will you be calling in your next bleed?

Stini, hope you and your little one are ok, thinking of you. 

Afm, still waiting. It's been a bit of a roller coaster, as I've started to have some signs of pre eclampsia, so spent 8 hours in maternity assessment yesterday. So far we're holding off on induction, and just having some sweeps to try and kick things off. Hopefully it'll get going soon, I'll keep you all posted


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## June2015

Many congratulations Catf, bet you can't believe it, must be surreal, yet very real, if you know what I mean. Enjoy and give Scarlett a little kiss and a welcome to the world from me xxxx

Hello everyone else. Big hugs


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## Melly2015

Congratulations Catf, that's fabulous news. Really good weight and such a beautiful name     

Mrschef- hope you're doing ok  

Katfish- glad AF arrived for you, even if her timing wasn't the best! Hope the next one comes on time too, so you can get started with things again  

Rumplestiltskin- sorry you've had a few complications...fingers crossed the sweeps do their thing and everything gets going soon  

MrsLondon- hope your final couple of days at work go ok...not long for you to go now either!  

June2015- hope you're ok  

Hi to everyone else,  

I'm currently in a nightmare down reg....had my baseline scan this week. I have 2 cysts in my right ovary which are producing oestrogen, so I have a really thick lining and am not down regulated at all. So I've to continue with the buserelin for another week and I have another scan on Thursday. If there is no improvement, they'll discuss with me what the other options are. I've awful headaches, poor DH is having to contend with some ridiculous mood swings on my part and I'm getting a bit fed up with it. Hopefully things will start to improve soon and I'll eventually get onto stimms at some point!!!


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef glad you have the pushchair sorted sadly the one I want is £800!!!! 

MrsLondon we are on the week of your due date! How exciting!!!! 

Catf a huge congrats on the birth of Scarlett lovely name I know some IVF twins and the girls names Scarlett too! Beautiful pic! I hope all is going well for you all! Don't hesitate to ask questions I get it all the time lol!

Rumplestiltskin oh dear but fingers crossed the sweep works!

June2015 why hello there how are you doing?!

Melly oh no it does sound like your having a right nightmare there! Fingers crossed all goes well with the next scan!

AFM - been busy had our appointment with Tim Child brought forward to Thursday which was a tad annoying as I had finished nights that morning and it's so hard to get going plus didn't work that well with DH at work either, but ah well! They are pretty baffled between our two very different cycles! May be age factor (AMH can fluctuate) and probably also the pill and implant just really suppressed me! (No surprise really when you have double contraceptives going through your body). I think I've said before but I do have PCOS and he described it for me roughly. Regarding a further fresh cycle they suggest looking at IVM which is a natural IVF no stimming therefore no risk at all of OHSS plus half the cost of IVF. The egg quality was poor again but we have managed two Frosties this time but our numbers obviously very different. Sperm quality poor too but we knew this already. Regarding out FET we can book in at my next bleed which is due around abouts the 18th May most likely after. The FET is free but we have to pay for the drugs which should roughly be £260! (Apparently not many clinics will fund the FET) We think we will be having one embie replaced this time it's our choice but with the risk of multiples it may be the best choice! End of the day we will listen to the embryologist too! Had the call from the clinic this morning to get our drugs ordered as I will not be DR so will be going straight into injecting! Wish us luck!


----------



## Melly2015

Katfish- that's so great that you can start your FET soon- wishing you so much luck with it, I'll be keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you. The natural IVF sounds like it would suit you better with no risk of OHSS (and the smaller cost will help too!). Hopefully though, one of your frosties will be the one, and you won't be having to think about a fresh cycle. Here's some bananas to encourage AF to arrive on time this month for you!     

Hope everyone else is ok   xxx


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## mrschef04

Catf - massive congratulations on the arrival of Scarlett!  What a beautiful name!  I'm so pleased for you!  How unreal does it feel right now?  For me, it doesn't feel quite real yet.  I think I'm going to be really shocked when I have my baby!  Let us know how things are getting on and how you are feeling about everything!  I want to hear all the details! xxxxxx

Katfish - good luck with the injections.  Quite glad you don't have to DR, as I hated it.  Down regulating made me so depressed.  I think it's a nice idea to have just the one embryo put back.  I know there are a few women on the boards that have twins and triplets and they are excited about it, but I think that would worry the hell out of me!  The cost of childcare and nursery is already enough for one baby!  

Melly - see above to what I said to Katfish.  Down regulating is the worst thing in the world.  I swear, it almost broke apart my rather strong marriage.  I was the most depressed woman on the planet during that time and I'm almost always happy!!

Rumplestiltskin - wow!  I hope things are okay honey!  Keep us posted on everything!

MrsLondon - let us know how things get on.  Braxton hicks must feel really really weird!

June2015 - How are you doing??

AFM - I think the reason why pregnancy takes 9 months is so you can build up the anticipation and connection with your child.  It's funny, isn't it?  I guess that's what it's all about.  For me, every day I get a little closer to my baby, but still not really connected yet.


----------



## MrsRL

Just a quick message to say a HUGE Congratulations to Catf on the birth of baby Scarlett         Such lovely news and a beautiful name. I hope all is going well.  x

Hello to everyone else and I hope everyone is ok xx


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## Katfish

Melly I can't wait! I'm nervous about thinking of IVM because the chances are lower and we don't have unlimited chances but it may be what works for us! I believe oxford was one of the first clinics to be allowed to use it too which is hopefully a good sign! But hopefully we will not need to be looking at this for a good few years yet! Or at all if these two Frosties do it for us! Thank you I hope those bananas work! 

Catf I hope all is going well with you and little Scarlett! 

MrsChef I didn't mind DR but I found the hot flushes and headaches such a pain in the bum! Plus the spots! Oh god the spots!!!! I have been told I would be amazing with them because at work I look after 3-4babies a shift but that's very different in a home situation! Plus even just having the one in there's still risk of multiples anyway! Sorry to put a downer on it but if you look at a month being 4weeks (28days) a pregnancy is actually 10months! You will feel it don't worry! 

MrsRL I hope that all is well for you?!

AFM - feeling pretty down in the world of limbo land right now! I am just about to start three night shifts and the DH is going to his parents so will not see home until Monday evening and been dreading it all week! Bring on Monday morning!!!


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## Katfish

In the middle of night shifts so only a quick one!

Sending wishes and luck and hopefully some congratulations to Rumplestiltskin and MrsLondon any signs of little one yet?!

Xx


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## Catf2008

Ladies how are you all doing?

I will try to catch up over the next few days

Quick update from us, Scarlett got admitted back into hospital on Wednesday as she had really bad jaundice & some sort of infection, i know it was the best place for her but it was horrible, they had to take blood every 4 hours & stick a cannula in her hand (took 5 attempts & the lead consultant to do it) she also spent 14 hours under the blue lights, I wanted to hit the nurses & doctors for sticking my daughter with needles but she is now back home, they managed to get her scans done while in hospital & all shows her head & hips are fine but she failed her hearing test twice so has now been referred for that as well.


----------



## Katfish

Oh dear CatF you have had a rough time! Jaundice us very normal and common! Try and keep her in the day light as much as you can! The more fluids the more that they wee and excret the extra blood cells! It's nasty watching them have bloods done too! When they do the jaundice test it's more the being restricted that upsets them! I have to say I'm suprised they got the consultant doing it because they do them less than the Dr's do! 14h is not very long really so it's obviously doing the job and they caught it at the right time! Glad all scans are ok! Sorry to hear about her hearing! Sometimes it can just be congestion in the ear! I hope that her follow up goes ok for her hearing! Xxx


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## Melly2015

Hi Ladies, 

Catf- sorry to hear about the jaundice. I don’t know much about it- but Katfish seems very knowledgeable and at least Scarlett is back home now. I hope her next hearing test goes ok.      

Katfish- how are you doing? Are you still working nights? You should come and join the limboland thread if you’re feeling a bit like you’re just waiting around for things to start. There are some lovely ladies on there with lots of experience and advice, I started posting on there a few months back when I knew I’d need to wait another couple of months before cycling and found it a great help  

Hope everyone else is ok!  

I’m ok, still downregging!!! Had a scan last week and my lining is a bit better but the cyst is still there. So another 2 weeks for DR for me, plus they have put me on the pill for 10 days which should hopefully help things apparently. Starting to get very fed up with it, although the pill has counteracted some of the side effects and helped my mood swings a bit (think DH is pretty relieved!). So have another scan next week on Thursday and HOPEFULLY will be able to move onto stimms after that!!!


----------



## Katfish

Hi Melly! I will have a look but seems a bit late now as I should have started hopefully in the next two weeks! Plus trying not to get too consumed in it as you tend to spend over an hour replying every comment hence why I didn't join a new one with my last cycle! I finished nights yesterday morning thankfully so still feeling a bit tired from those! Bless you your having a rough time this cycle! Interesting thing I found out at my follow up all follicles are cysts it's a old term for the name! So polycystic ovaries means many follicles!  I hope that the pill does the trick and your in a good DR stage for your next scan! X X


----------



## MrsRL

Hi Ladies!

Katfish - I'm fine thank you, how are things with you? It's exciting that you can cycle again soon and have your FET. I bet you can't wait now! It is also great that you have options for a fresh cycle, but hopefully you won't need it  Will you have a medicated cycle or natural? I can second Melly's suggestion, the limboland thread is great and all of the ladies are lovely 

Catf - sorry to hear about Scarlett having jaundice. Like Melly I don't know much about it, but I'm so pleased Scarlett is back home now. Sorry to hear about the hearing test too, I hope the next test goes well.

Melly - as I said in limbo, I hope the rest of DR goes quickly so that you can move on to stims  Will keep my fingers crossed!!

MrsChef - lovely to hear that things are going well for you and everyday you feel closer to baby 

June - lovely to see you on here. How are things with you? 

Rumple - how are things with you now? It sounds like you have had a tough time of it recently. Any sign of baby yet? 

MrsLondon - how are things with you? Any sign of baby yet? 

Hello to everyone else, I hope you are all well.

AFM - sorry I have been AWOL. I was away for a couple of weeks in April for my 30th and then things seem to have been a bit manic since, so I never get chance to come on here properly. We have the date and information through for DH's op at the end of May, so not much is happening other than that really, just general life stuff!! Take care ladies xx


----------



## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

I will catch up properly soon I promise!!  just wanted to say congrats to Catf and to let you know that my darling Annika Mae was born Sunday May 1st at 5.41pm weighing 7lbs 8oz. I had a natural water birth with no pain relief (not out of choice re pain relief). My established labour was very quick, went from from 4cm to giving birth in 40 mins!! I'm completely in love.

Hope you're all ok and promise I'll catch up properly next week. Oh and she was five days early. Finished work on Friday and she was here the Sunday lol.

Love to you all xxx


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## mrschef04

MrsLondon - congratulations on your new arrival!  That's great that your labour was quick and uncomplicated.  I'm so pleased for you!  How weird is it having a baby?  I still haven't gotten my head around it yet.  I guess I'll see soon.  I'm so so happy for you honey!  lots of love xxx

MrsRL - That's good to know it's at the end of May, rather than being held off.  Hope life is well!

Melly - ohh!  I feel for you with the downregging.  I'm terrible when downregging.  Fingers crossed you'll be able to start stimming soon!

Katfish - I hope limbo land doesn't last for long with you.  Chin up honey and big hugs!

Catf - oh honey..  I hope everything is okay and that she will be okay.  I hope her follow up is okay for her hearing and hopefully it is all just congestion, as Katfish says.

AFM - Going to 17 weeks tomorrow.  It feels kind of freaky being on a big countdown.  Sprained my ankle yesterday during an exercise class, so can definitely see the relaxin taking its toll on my joints.  I am going to have to strap my ankles now when doing exercise.  Lol!  My weight gain has died down a bit, so now at least I only see my belly getting bigger, but it pains me to see how big my butt is.


----------



## Catf2008

Mrschef - your pregnancy seems to be flying by, not long till your 20 week scan now 

Mrslondon - congratulations on your new arrival 

Mrsrl - fingers crossed for hubby op at the end of May not long to go now

Melly - hope the down regging is going ok

Afm - well Scarlett is growing well, she still has slight jaundice but we are giving her one formula feed a day to help with it as they say that breast fed babies suffer jaundice more, still having to express all her feeds as she won't latch on which is hard work but I am happy to do it for her. We registered her today so she is now officially legal, still can't believe we have a baby and I'm not looking forward to hubby going back to work.


----------



## Katfish

MrsRL I know I can't wait! Things are ok worked today it's absolutely roasting in there with stale non moving air! Makes me more glad I don't have to DR as the flushes mixed with that heat and head aches would be awful! Medicated cycle for the FET due to the irregular periods! I hope you had a lovely 30th birthday! Fingers crossed all goes well with his op! I know it shouldn't be needed but is it worth freezing some sperm just incase something goes wrong?! 

MrsLondon a huge congratulations on little Annika Mae that's such a lovely name! Plus a lot of names I like I either want Mae as double barrel or middle name! Wow that's a very fast birth! She obviously wanted you to make the most of your time off! Enjoy! I hope that your home now!

MrsChef all important growth! I hope that your ankle is on the mend soon too!

CafF fantastic that Scarlett is doing well! Yes 80% of breast fed babies are Jaundice and will be for up to 3months but no reason to push formula down them if you don't want! If she is being funny with latching on you can try a nipple shield and she make go on with that! You can buy them from mothercare we use the Madela ones at work!


----------



## Stini

Hello ladies! Congratulations to everybody who has had their baby. Some really beautiful names  there: Annika is gorgeous! Fergus Euan was born on 19 April, two weeks early, after four days of forced induction (one rogue scan showed him dropping from 50th to 10th percentile and they insisted on getting him early: of course it was a false scan and he was fine) and a 24 hour labour.  He was 6.4lbs, is now 7.10 and feeding ALL the time. It's taking me a bit of time to recover as I got bashed up a bit but  we are almost at one month now and everything seems to be getting better. Hopefully I'll be able to be on the forum a little more as everything comes back! Will go and catch up on you all jus now. Xxxx


----------



## Stini

Couple of pics of my little frog and our wee family:

















Ah, not working. I'll put in links:

__
http://instagr.am/p/BEpSAyDQXK-/


__
http://instagr.am/p/BFEyPrAwXD3/


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## Katfish

Stini congratulations on the birth of Fergus Euan lovely name! Ahh the day before my birthday! That's a lovely pic of him and you all as a family! Lovely to put a face to you too!


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## Rumplestiltskin

Congratulations Stini, Mrs London and Catf! 

I'll catch up properly another time, but wanted to pop in to let you know that our little boy, Toby, arrived safely at 40wks+6days. In the end, the blood pressure issues meant they brought me in for an induction, but all they had to do was break my waters, and 4 hours later he was born, weighing a whopping 9lbs 9oz. 

When he was 5 days old, we had to go back into hospital for intensive feeding and to have his tongue tie cut, but we've been home nearly a week now, and he's almost back to his birth weight. 

Will catch up with you all soon xxx


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## Melly2015

Hi Ladies, 

Katfish- wow, starting in the next 2 weeks- that’s come around quickly for you. I really hope everything goes well for you, and is nice and straightforward after all you've been through  

MrsRL- at least there isn’t too long to wait now until DH’s op. I imagine you’ll both be glad to get that out of the way. Do you know how long he'll be recovering for? Will be keeping my fingers crossed for you both  

MrsLondon- congratulations on the arrival of Annika Mae. Such a pretty name, am glad the labour went quickly for you, and you got a natural water birth. Hope everything’s going well for you all now  

Mrschef- 17 weeks! It really seems to be flying! Sorry to hear your sprained your ankle, I hope that heals up soon for you  

Catf- I’m so glad to hear that Scarlett is doing well now, I imagine it will be difficult with hubby going back to work, but I’m sure things will get easier. And congrats on her being legal!!! The picture is gorgeous  

Stini- congratulations to you and OH on the arrival of Fergus Euan, lovely names   . Am glad he’s putting on weight and feeding well for you. I had a look at your pictures, he’s gorgeous, and the family one is really lovely

Rumplestiltskin- congratulations on the arrival of Toby   , sounds like things went pretty quickly once your waters were broken. I’m glad he’s nearly back to his (very healthy!) birth weight now after his trip to hospital

Hope everyone else is doing well  

I’m going back to the clinic for baseline scan no 3 on Thursday and hopefully we’ll be at the end of this epic down reg, just want to be able to get going properly with this cycle. Otherwise am all fine, can’t believe our cycle buddy babies are here now- so exciting   ! Better head off now and do my 38th down reg injection!!!!


----------



## Katfish

Rumplestiltskin congratulations on the birth of Toby! Wow big boy and very lucky to have a fast labour! Tongue tied very very common but I'm glad they sorted it for you! 

Melly I know I'm due on the 19th but I expect it shall be a bit later than that! I hope that the scan on goes well on Thursday will be thinking of you! Wow 38th!!!!

AFM - I'm waiting for good old AF due in the next few days! I'm hoping it comes on its own and I don't have to faff around inducing it! And fingers crossed this will be the last for 9months scary thought! I am a bit poorly at the mo! I think that it's the very very variable temp at work! The other day we where sweating at 27c in full uniform then yesterday and today we had goose bumps at 20c! Plus I'm on a crazy week of shifts too with not much space between them to relax! Tomorrow will be my 3rd 12.5h shift in a row!


----------



## Stini

Thanks everyone! And congratulations Rumplestiltskin (plus some induction empathy: they are ROUGH) -weirdly given how close our pregnancies were, Toby was high on our name list too. We also have a tongue-tie , but it wasn't diagnosed for two weeks, until his midwife discharge,  so still waiting to have it sorted. Have been feeding with nipple shields since it was diagnosed, but I  was expressing every feed through the pump for the first two weeks. Medela shields definitely the best, btw Catf.

Melly, well done on getting through the down reg: I hear it can be awful.
Katfish, was just about to ask when your May date was. So close now. Everything crossed for both of you.
MrsChef: 17 weeks! Proper. Have you got much of a bump? How has the news gone down?

Xxx


----------



## MrsRL

Morning ladies 

MrsLondon - huge congratulations on the arrival of Annika Mae   Love her name  It sounds like you had a quick labour and pleased you got to have a water birth. I hope all is well with your little family 

Stini - huge congratulations on the arrival of Fergus Euan   Again, a lovely name  It is lovely to see you on here again and see photos of you and your little family. It is nice to put a face to your name 

Rumple - huge congratulations on the arrival of Toby   Love his name too  It sounds like his arrival was quick after your waters were broken. It sounds like he is back on track now and good news he is nearly back to his birth weight. 

It is lovely to see all of you new Mummies with your babies now and gives me hope  

MrsChef - Wow, I can't believe you are 17 weeks now, hope all is going well. Have you got much of a bump?

Catf - thank you. Great news that Scarlett is legal now, I hope things are going well. I also hope it goes ok when DH goes back to work 

Katfish - thanks for the birthday wishes, I had a lovely time thank you. We already have some frozen sperm, which is currently stored in London and DH is going to arrange for it to be transferred. Hopefully we won't need it, but as you say, it is good to have it as a backup. I hope AF comes on time so that you can start your FET. Sorry to hear you are poorly atm, I hope it clears up soon so that you are well for your FET 

Melly - yes, we will be glad to get the op out of the way now. DH will need at least a week off work, but because his job is quite physical, it could be longer. After the op, it's 2 weeks of light duties and then he will be back to normal 4-6 weeks after the op.  Wow - 38th injection! You must be fed up with it now. Wishing you the best of luck for Thursday so that you can finally stop DR hopefully and start stims. I will be thinking of you and sending positive vibes    x

Hello to everyone else and sending   xx


----------



## mrschef04

Hello everyone!

Stini - congratulations!  You look absolutely gorgeous!  Fergus Euan - very cute names!  I'm so so happy for you honey!!!! How surreal does it all feel?  How are you feeling as a new mom?  xx  The news was taken well by friends and family, but also mixed emotions.  My DH has a son from a previous relationship and his ex pretty much didn't care, just as long as it didn't affect her or her son much.  That woman is a witch.  His 7-year-old son pretended to take it well and then was crappy about it saying he hoped it wasn't a boy because it would just be crap.  I just smiled and ignored it.  I only see him about 1 1/2 days a month, so it's not really going to affect me or our baby all that much.  Unfortunately, I have been with my DH for 3 1/2 years and still never got on with his son, but neither do any of our friends or my side of the family.  They avoid the one night a month his son is with us at our London home.  A long story.

Katfish - glad you're about to begin again and AF should arrive soon!  Fingers crossed it will definitely be your last!!

Melly2015 - Good luck with your baseline scan on Thursday!  I can't believe how time has flown!

Rumplestiltskin - Congratulations on your new arrival, Toby!  What a big baby!  I think I will be the same.  My bump got big right away.

AFM - very happy and DH and I really feel like we're properly nesting.  We're always busy tidying up our home and arranging stuff.  We go to bed early together like old people, but we love it.  DH has really changed.  He is looking forward to being a full-time dad and we're both really ready for it.  We've done all of our travels, been to the biggest parties of our lives and, now, feel that we're old enough to want something more solid.  It's really cool.  Pregnancy is still boring to me.  I just have to ignore that my body is changing and that I've put on a lot of weight, but in just two weeks, I'll be 20 weeks and halfway there!  Just about to hit 18 weeks.  Still going strong with exercise.  I'm strapping my crap ankle.  I'd broken my ribs before as I'm a retired fighter, so I feel them crackle now, as my body keeps changing.  It feels weird.


----------



## Katfish

Stini we use medela ones at work too! I am well and truly waiting for it to arrive now! I'm all prepared! Not looking forward to injecting again though!

MrsRL ah that's fab that there is some frozen too just incase but exactly fingers crossed you will not need it and the new stuff will be even better! I am hoping I'm better soon I feel worse at the mo but hopefully will get better! 

MrsChef I am glad that there is some nesting going on! I bet that must feel very weird your right!

AFM - I'm very excited to have a day off tomorrow! May only be one day but I get to have a lay in and a bit of time to rest to get rid of this annoyingly sore throat that has now not a runny nose and cough as part of it too now!


----------



## Katfish

Guess what guys?! AF has shown her face and that means we are all go! I'm still unwell coughing my insides up but we are all go from tomorrow I've contacted the unit to book in as well! It's rather annoying however that got rather strong cramps! Oh how I love endometriosis!! Wish us luck guys!


----------



## Catf2008

Yay katfish, I have everything crossed for you xx


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## mrschef04

Katfish - Oh wow!  Lots of luck for you!  I'm so glad you're finally on the road again!  xxx


AFM - I get the odd movement now and then (flutters), but nothing much yet.  I'm at 18 weeks and 4 days now, so I just hope I get the real movement now.


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## MrsRL

Katfish - hooray for starting your cycle, so exciting! Sending you lots of luck and babydust     Are you feeling better now? Hopefully we won't need the frozen sperm, but it will be moved in the next couple of weeks, so we will have it as a backup! Like you say, hopefully we won't need it and the new sperm will be better  The op is next Tuesday so will soon be here.

MrsChef - it sounds like you are doing really well, glad you are enjoying the nesting  How lovely that you have started feeling baby too. I bet you can't wait for your 20 week scan now 

 to everyone else! Hope you are well xx


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## Catf2008

Mrschef - yay to getting little flutters, wait till they turn into proper kicks 

Katfish - how are you doing?

Mrsrl - I have a bad memory at the moment where are you upto?

Afm - getting used to little sleep, Scarlett falls asleep straight after her feeds during the day but at her 2 nights feeds it takes me over an hour to settle her and then it's only 2 hours till she is crying again for food. Most of the worries we had from birth are all clear barring her hearing she has a blockage in her right ear, we have to take her back when she is 9 months to have it checked again and a possibility of gromit being fitted to help drain it off.


----------



## Katfish

Catf2008 thank you! I'm good thank you I am very nervous but can't do anything now! I'm still ill just praying I shake this cough off in the next week! Oh dear she's being a pickle at night for you! Fingers crossed it doesn't last much longer! One thing you may find helpful is having some white noise or something in the background she may just not be so keen on the silence at night! 

MrsChef thank you! Glad your starting to feel things! I hope that they get stronger!  are you going to find out what your having in your 20wk scan?!

MrsRL I'm still coughing away giving myself headaches! There's a sad story at work at the mo I was with the mum and she was seeing a dr who said she would need to be staying away from coughs and cold then looked at me! I was like oh dear!!! Thing is this cough has gone on for over a week I can't just take time off sick because of that! Yes fingers crossed the new swimmers will be so much better!  ooo wow that will be soon! Thinking of you guys!

AFM - I am day 4 into my bleed and day 3 into injecting! They are going well so far! I had to call the clinic again on Monday as they didn't call me back from booking in! Called me yesterday I have my first scan booked for the 2nd July to check the lining then will find out when the ET will be on the Friday! But if all is well will be the 8th or 9th! Then OTD will be 12days after that!
I feel very nervous and got a bit upset yesterday as I don't know what I will do if we do not get our BFP this time!


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## mrschef04

MrsRL - I hope you're doing well!  Yes, I am starting to try and guess if it's a boy or a girl.  Everyone thinks it's a boy.  Let's see!

Catf - I can't wait until they turn into proper kicks.  I'm reading those Gina Ford books, so wondering if that will help at all with getting baby on a sleep schedule, though she does seem a bit harsh sometimes in it.  I'm so glad most of your worries are gone.  I gotta say, I'm looking forward to the sleep deprivation.  At least I'll be able to drink coffee again!  Pregnancy is like being in a long waiting room.  I'm definitely impatient!

AFM - finally taking a holiday for one week.  Nothing too exciting - just visiting DH's aunt and uncle in Scotland, but they are fun and I'm doing two spa days with a pre-natal massage on each day.  Can't wait!


----------



## June2015

Hi everyone, 

How are you all?  I've not been AWOL, just reading all about you in the background.

Mrschef, my friend used Gina Ford and her two boys went to bed and slept like a dream, never any problems, so whilst she seems harsh, I do think there's method in her madness, might not be everyones cup of tea or work for all though.  Enjoy your holiday, sounds fab.  I haven't met you or seen your bump, but I'm going with girl !!

Katfish, good luck honey. Back to injections hay? It's amazing how quickly we just get used to it. Keep us posted on how you get on. 

Catf, bless little Scarlett, hope her hearing gets better.  What a pickle being a night owl! 

Stini, congratulations on little Fergus. I love your family photo, you look amazing too 

Congratulations too Rumpelstiltskin. Hope little Toby's doing well. 

And you too MrsLondon, what a poppet name, Annika, love it xx

Melly, how's DR, have you finished that now?  (Ha ha, my phone just auto corrected Melly to smelly; I changed it back)

AFM, we moved to use an egg donor and found a very kind  altruistic donor. I know they receive compensation for their time, but I still think it's an unbelievably selfless thing to put yourself through the injections and EC if you don't have to, especially for a complete stranger. Whoever you are, thank you xxx  So now we have 21 eggs collected and wait to see what the fertilisation rate is like. Then all being well I'll have a FET in a couple of months! Exciting time for us all.

Take care everyone, enjoy the bank holiday and catch up soon xxxx


----------



## Katfish

June so lovely to hear from you! Yes back to those again it does become very natural! That's fantastic news about your donor and 21eggs is a great number! Keep us posted on how they do! When do you think that the FET will be? I thought that they were trying to get your cycles synced so you could have them transferred back in at the same time?


----------



## June2015

Thank you Katfish. 17 fertilised, phew. Tomorrow we learn how many divide. Exciting.

We are having a FET as I have irregular periods so the consultant felt it better to go that way over syncing us.  Not sure when will do the FET yet as need to make sure the peskyTSH levels are ok, as they are slightly too high at present so taking medication to reduce the levels. 

Have a good day everyone xxx


----------



## mrschef04

Katfish - yes, definitely will find out if it's a boy or a girl.  DH doesn't want to know though!

June2015 - oh, that's great.  So only two months to go!  Glad the fertilisation went well!  That's funny that you say girl.  It's such a mixed bag of predictions.  I think it will be a girl, but then a lot of signs are pointing to boy.  I crave and need protein and milk more than I crave and need any sweet things.  Then again my bump has been quite big from the start.  I showed early and my morning sickness went away by 11 weeks and it was only nausea in the afternoon.  It's quite funny.  Let's see if all the old wives' tales are correct!

AFM - Quite sad on the BFP page - a woman at 20 weeks had a miscarriage.  I'm quite in shock for her - the poor woman.  Only this last month, she was talking about NCT classes, picking out everything for the nursery, but then her pregnancy has been really tough - lots of bleeding for the first 14 weeks or so and many trips to the EMU, but I was just so rooting for her.. Felt a bit panicked as I'm still not feeling much movement yet.  An odd flutter here and there, but no kicks.  At 19 weeks today.


----------



## Catf2008

June - those are great numbers I have everything crossed for you

Mrschef - I never felt proper kicks till about 24/25 weeks just lots of flutters and movements towards the back and low down (those got explained with her being breech)

Afm - nothing much to report, Scarlett now weighs 9lb4oz & is growing well, both my doctor & health visitor want me to go on the pill but I've said no, we only have a 5% chance due to hubby low sperm so we aren't going on the pill as we have such a low chance of anything happening


----------



## June2015

Silly question perhaps Catf, but why would they want to put you on the pill?

Ah, mrschef, that's extremely sad for the lady on your other group. Heartbreaking.  

Xxx


----------



## Katfish

June ah that's amazing numbers! Your using DH's sperm right? Ah right makes sense! That's why I'm having it medicated too! Fingers crossed those pesky TSH levels sort themselves out! 

MrsChef haha I see! You see I would want to know but I also like the idea of a surprise! I think I would want to know if I was having non-identical twins because could get a boy girl mix of things if that makes sense! These stories are so hard to hear but unfortunately these things do happen! I see a lot of the sad stories in my job but the reality is out of the amount of people out there who is pregnant there. Is a very small percentage that have issues! 

Catf how annoying! The reason would be because a lady is exceptionally fertile the three months after birth! So even if the chances are low they can be heightened! At the end of the day they should but out! 

AFM - another day and more tears in the evening! I still feel ill fed up of the coughing all the time by the end of the day my body aches from it too! I just want to be well and don't want to be like this when ET is happening! Everyone else at work is getting it now and I feel awful at the parents hearing me cough all the time and thing is not much I can do I've had it over 2wks now!


----------



## MrsRL

Morning Ladies 

Catf - I'm in Limbo at the moment really. DH has his op on Tuesday for his varicocele removal and then hopefully we can cycle around 3 months after that. I hope Scarlett settles down at night soon. It sounds like you're surviving on lack of sleep though. Great news that she is all clear now, I hope the blockage  in her ear improves by itself. I don't blame you with the pill, I would refuse as well! I'm never going on the pill again after it messed up my cycles so much before.

Katfish - sorry to hear you are still suffering with your cough, you must be fed up with it now. Keeping my fingers crossed that it improves before your fet    Glad the injections are going well.

MrsChef - I hope you enjoy your holiday and especially your pre-natal massage  Very sad story about the pregnant lady on your other group 

June - it's lovely to see you on here again  You have great numbers there and hope the embies continue to grow well    I hope your TSH levels sort themselves out soon too. Do you have any idea when ET might be?

Hello to anyone else that is reading  

AFM - not too much to report at the moment. We're off to Windsor tomorrow for DH to provide a sample because he has been on tamoxifen for a couple of months, so they want to see if that has improved anything. We're going to make a day of it and spend the day in Windsor after. On Tuesday it's DH's op for his varicocele removal so we've got a very early start because he needs to be there at 7.30am. I'm getting nervous about it because I'm a worry wort, and will be glad when it's over now. I hope you all have a lovely bank holiday weekend xx


----------



## Melly2015

Hi Ladies, 

Katfish- am so happy that AF showed her face in such a timely manner for you- yay to being all go!   I know what you mean about getting upset with the uncertainty of it all, it’s such a hard process   . Glad the injecting is going well so far, will be keeping my fingers crossed for you for your scan. Sorry about the cough, it sounds horrible. I really hope it improves for you soon

Mrschef- your holiday sounds lovely, will be so nice for you to get a break. The spa days sound fab too. Feeling flutters sounds exciting!  

June- lovely to hear from you, sounds like an amazing amount of eggs that your donor has got, and a brilliant fertilisation rate too. Hope you get good news today. Hope everything goes well and so great that you’ll be PUPO in a couple of months  

Catf- glad everything is going well with Scarlett  

MrsRL- I really hope DH’s op goes well next Tuesday. I’m sure you will be glad when it’s over. Also will be keeping my fingers crossed for his sample tomorrow and that the Tamoxifen has worked   . Hope you both have a lovely day in Windsor  

Stini, Rumplestiltskin and MrsLondon- hope all is going well with your little ones  

Hi to anyone else reading  

I’m good, had my third baseline scan on Thursday last week and was all good to move onto stimms after 42 days of epic down regging! Had my first stimms scan on Wednesday and all looking good, so have another scan tomorrow and potentially egg collection around the middle of next week, depending on how we’re getting on. Am so relieved that things are moving at last!


----------



## Katfish

MrsRL I'm very fed up indeed and still got a week left of it apparently! See below! Good luck wow that will be an early start! Could you stay somewhere local the night before?! I hope that there is some (auto correct changed that to come I thought haha very relevant) improvement to his sample this time! 

Melly I know what a clever girl she is hey! I think she wanted to be so delayed before to tell the unit that they needed to change their plans for our second cycle! I know that sounds stupid but if I hadn't gone 70+ days with no bleed I wouldn't have been scanned and we wouldn't have known I now had PCOS! That's fantastic news that you have finally managed to start stimming I really hope that all goes well for you! 

AFM - cracked today and I got my manager to look after my babies while I went to the GP because my cough just wasn't budging and I was getting really worried that it was getting to my lungs and that affect our cycle! The dr has said its a virus that's going around the local areas and it's lasting 3wks (so another week to go for me!) there is no name for it yet! But I call it a pain in the bum! It's not got to my chest thankfully but the GP said that she thinks I'm just really run down as I have had a ruff few months and she prescribed rest! She thinks I should take some time off of work to get myself fit again! Easier said than done! But I'm going to see how I feel on Sunday and may call in sick for my night shifts which start on Monday!
On the very good side of things one of the babies I have been looking after and discharged to parents care yesterday sung nothing but my praises for my care of them all for 15mins straight to the top obstetric consultant today so even though I've worked myself into the ground it's good to know how appreciated that you are! 

Anyway I wish you all a lovely bank holiday weekend and I hope you all have lovely plans!


----------



## MrsRL

Morning ladies 

Melly - thanks for the good luck for DH's op, he's currently in theatre now so keeping everything crossed!! We couldn't really understand the results of his sample on Saturday as they email the results and then suggested talking to the consultant. There wasn't really time for that this morning though. Wishing you GOOD LUCK again for your EC   

Katfish - how are you feeling now? I hope you're a bit better at least. Good news it is not in your chest, but it does sound like a pain in the bum! How lovely that the parents sung your praises, it was much deserved I'm sure  Haha to the autocorrect, it made me laugh  we don't really know how the sample was because they email the results as I said to Melly above and then suggest talking to the consultant. Obviously not much time for that this morning! We did think of staying somewhere but decided against it and just got up early. The journey was around 1 hour or just over, so not too bad. I'm sure I will feel it later!!

Hello to everyone else  

AFM - Thank you for the good luck for DH's op. We arrived here this morning at about 6.50am and he is now in theatre, he went down at about 8.50am. I'm not expecting to see him again until around 10.30-11am. I have been very nervous this morning and will be glad when it's over and I see him again! All being well he should be able to leave this afternoon to go home. I will let you know what happens. The car park is rather extortionate and we nearly lost the ticket in the wind.   I've got to top it up again at 12, as can only get 5 hours at a time. We didn't really understand the results of his sample on Saturday so will need to discuss those, but from what we can tell it wasn't much different to before,so not sure if he will continue the tamoxifen or not. Take care everyone xx


----------



## Katfish

MrsRL I still am feeling ruff I have gone off sick at work to try and fight it off! I've also got bad sun burn now to top it off! Ah that's odd but hopefully you will understand a bit more later on! I hope that he's feeling ok and that the surgery was a success! 

AFM - looking forward to Thursday for my scan! I hope that it is looking good and we can set a date for the ET we have signed to consent to only replace one of the two embies! I think that it's safer really but also nervous about it too! As I said to MrsRL I am still unwell I've gone off sick at work to try and shake the cold on advice from my GP on Friday! We went to a local music festival for the day on Saturday which we had tickets for awhile ago didn't realise the weather was going to be as good so I'm also suffering from really bad sunburn too!!!! Whoops! 

Sending wishes to everyone!


----------



## Melly2015

Hi Ladies, 

Katfish- sorry you’re still feeling rubbish   , hopefully you’ll be able to fight off the virus soon and start feeling yourself again. Sorry about the sunburn too, but it sounds like the musical festival was fun  

MrsRL- when will you see the doctor next to discuss DH’s sample? That sounds like a crazy early start for you- I thought I was bad having to the clinic this morning for 8:30!!! At least it is over now, hope he’s not feeling too sore now  

Hi to everyone else  

AFM- well stimms sped along at lightning speed and I was in for egg collection today, where they got 18 eggs. Really pleased, but will see tomorrow how many were mature, and how they fertilise, I hate this waiting part!!! Quite sore now that all the lovely drugs have worn off, so will keep resting for the next couple of days


----------



## Catf2008

Well done melly that's a great amount, fingers crossed for tomorrow xx


----------



## Katfish

Melly - I hope that it's good news for you today with fertilation rates! That's a good number of eggs to get aswell! 

AFM - I had my scan today unfortunately my lining is only 6mm and they want it to be 7mm + therefore they showed the scan to a consultant and they have upped my Progynova to 4mg (two tablets) three times a day from 2mg. This should hopefully help thicken the lining and when I go for another scan next Thursday it should be nice and thick and Cosy for that precious Embie the following week! So a little downer really but I have heard that PCOS can cause a thinner lining so maybe this is why! So we are looking at ET being the end of the week commencing 13th June. In ways this is a little more convenient as was previously ET on a day that the DH was going to struggle to attend with work! OTD will be when I'm on A/L though it could still clash on the day that we are staying with my uncle. We will work it out!


----------



## MrsLondon

Hello lovely ladies,

Wow I've missed a lot since I was last on. Catf I don't know how you get the time to post, I find the days just zoom by and I barely have time for anything.

Annika is doing well, a great little feeder but not so good at sleeping by herself. She won't fall alseep unless held and is so intuitive that if I don't hold her until she's in a deeeeep sleep she'll just wake up as soon as I put her down. She also has bad trapped wind so I've been giving her infacol. I've read loads of books on sleep training etc but am going to wait until she's a little bit older to start by 12 weeks definitely. I did try but it's too heartbreaking hearing her cry and not worth the extra lack of sleep and stressed on me. I've got the Gina Ford routine book but there isn't a large section on settling and sleep training in it. I've also got the happiest baby on the block book which completely contradicts the others and talks about the fourth trimester and how babies need to be rocked etc, we'll get there I'm sure.

Melly- that's fab news re EC!!! Really hope you got some good news today and some great fertilisation rate.

Katfish- don't be down lovely, I'm sure the meds will help thicken your lining. I had to take the every glamourous Vagifem to help thicken my lining, it worked a treat though. Good luck!!!

MrsRL - really hope DH's op went well and you'll finally be able to get going again.

June - so great to hear from you and really positive news about your donor. I'm sure your FET will go well and you'll be PG before you know it.

MrsChef - that's awful about the lady on the other board, it's so scary isn't it. That's why I didn't go on the other boards kept worrying myself and feeling sad for those who had bad news. How are you keeping?? I didn't have any strong movements for ages as i had an anterior placenta so don't worry. When is your 20week scan?? I can't remember if you said that you'll find out the sex? Everyone thought I was having a boy due to my lack of symptoms and my shape but they were all wrong heehee, proves these wives tales are just tales . So excited for you, it's such a lovely time being pregnant.

Rumplestiltskin and Stini hope all is going well with your boys? 

Katfish- sorry to hear that you're unwell. You need to try and take it easy esp as you'll be pupo soon  

Catf - glad Scarlet is doing well but sorry to hear about her hearing. Are you breastfeeding? A lot of the mums from my NCT group top up with formula in the evenings to help get through the night. I'm still not used to the lack of sleep I wonder when and even if I will. Re the pill, I wonder if they'll suggest that to me too. I'm not going to take it either even if they do. 

Hope I haven't missed anyone and hi to anyone else reading. 

Love and luck to you all.

Xx
Xxx


----------



## Melly2015

Hi Ladies, 

Katfish, sorry to hear your lining isn’t quite there yet, hopefully the extra progynova will do its thing and I’ll keep my fingers crossed for your scan next week  

MrsLondon- lovely to hear from you and I’m glad everything is going well with Annika. I imagine there is a lot of conflicting advice on what to do in books, but I’m sure that once you go with what you think is best for your little one, then it’s best for you and her  

Hi to everyone else, all the mummies, those cycling and those in limbo right now  

I had a good call from the clinic yesterday morning- 16 out of my 18 eggs fertilised!!   I’m over the moon with that rate, it’s so much better than when we cycled last year, so possibly all the healthy eating / lifestyle and extra supplements for both of us helped. I’ll give the lab a ring tomorrow to see how they’re progressing, and then will be in for transfer on Sunday.   that this is our time


----------



## mrschef04

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I've been so quiet, but I've been on a pregnancy holiday in Scotland with DH for one week.  Heading back to London tomorrow.  Had a couple of pre-natal massages, a facial and a mani/pedi.  So worth it and got the only sun in the UK in the last week, so it's been pretty good!

Melly2015 - that's amazing!  16 fertilised!  I don't think you could ask for a better result!  I am very much praying that it's your time.  Good luck for transfer on Sunday.  I will keep my fingers crossed and will be thinking of you! xxx

MrsLondon - ah, I know what you mean about Gina Ford!  I got three books, including one on a complete sleep guide on Amazon - you can get that one for 1p used, if you need it.  I have a feeling I will be going through the same thing when my baby is born, but as I'm only taking 5 1/2 months off for maternity leave, I will be pushing for everything to start sooner rather than later.  I'll most likely start the Gina Ford stuff when baby is 6 weeks and also I'll be taking baby to the creche, so it gets used to me being away from him/her.  My 20-week scan is on Wednesday and I find out the sex.  I'm actually getting nervous now!  DH doesn't want to know, but I do!  Yea, it's two split camps - half say boy and half say girl.  I crave both milk/protein and sweet things, but then also I'm carrying low and all around my butt and thighs too, so they say it could go either way.  It already feels like a very tall baby as I'm showing quite a bit.

Katfish - just glad that they are doing everything to make sure your embie could stick and hopefully the extra progynova and extra time will create the perfect conditions for it.  Hope everything keeps going well and you get that transfer in soon!

MrsRL - Hope things went well with DH's op.  Let us know how things get on.

Catf - I'll be going on the pill after I give birth, but the main reason being is because my periods are so painful anyway, I would be happy not to have them again anyway.  I'll probably go off of it again in 4 years time anyway, as I'll be too old anyway.  

AFM - all good and waiting for 20-week scan on Wednesday for anomalies and to find out the sex.  I'm feeling baby every day now - just flutters and it feels like it's just bouncing and saying "chig, chig, chig" in my tummy.  Hope everyone else is well!


----------



## Catf2008

Mrslondon - I find time to post as I have a clingy baby so spend most of my days on the sofa with her asleep on me so have no option but to go online lol I get house work done when hubby gets in & he takes over the cuddles.  Baby wouldn't latch on so we couldn't breastfeed, I expressed for 2 weeks but it got to much & I got ill so we switched to formula

Mrschef - bet you can't wait for the 20 week scan & I used to love all the movements

Melly - that's a great, I have all my fingers crossed for you 

Katfish - I'm thinking thick for you and hopefully it will grow ready for ET


----------



## MrsLondon

Yeah Melly!!! That's great news. Really hope they keep going strong and you have a choice of superb embies to put back in.

Catf I hear you re clingy babies. Annika is the same and has really bad trapped wind too so I end up holding her with one hand and patting her back with the other, makes life very difficult. I usually only get one job done around the house a day and it's such a tip. 

MrsChed sounds like you've had lovely time away. Glad you got some sun, it's been absolutely crap here. Ooooh thanks for the tip, I'll have a look at the 1p book on Amazon seeing as I've already spend £30+ on the others. The thing with Gina is that her routines are so stict and not really flexible. Annika is still quite sleepy and according to Gina she's supposed to be awake for two hours here and there but there's no way I can keep her up as she'll just get over tired and cry. I usually just stick to the feed times and play around with the rest. Oooooooh I can't wait to hear if you're having a boy or a girl. Good luck sweetie.


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## Catf2008

Mrslondon - I hear you on the place looking like a tip, I wish some magic cleaning faries would come in lol what are you using for trapped wind, Scarlett suffered really badly with it but I told about this stuff you put in formula (can't remember if your formula or breastfeeding) and it's worked a treat for us and so much better for Scarlett


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## MrsRL

Morning ladies 

Katfish - I hope having time away from work has helped you to feel better. Will the clinic be thawing both embies? Sorry to hear that you are feeling a bit down after hearing your lining isn't where it should be yet. I hope the progynova works it's magic for your next scan  have you also tried other natural foods/drinks that are meant to help with the lining? I think Brazil nuts and pomegranate juice are just a couple of things people use.  it sounds like it might work out better if OTD is when you're on A/L 

Melly - it was a crazy early start, but just about recovered from it now  DH is doing well and says he's not in pain, so that's good  We will see Mr R in a couple of months for a check up and for DH to do a sample and see if things have improved. He's going to contact us before that about the sample DH did Saturday, so we're just waiting to hear about that. Anymore news from you? Really pleased for you that this cycle has worked out so well with such great numbers 

Mrs London - lovely to hear from you  it sounds like Annika is doing well, although sorry to hear you are having problems with her sleeping. Hopefully this will improve once she gets a bit older and you can have a bit of a routine  DH's op went to plan, we're looking at cycling in October/November. It one way it's a long wait but I another it has been nice to have a break from it all, especially with other stresses like work 

MrsChef - your holiday sounds lovely and relaxing with all of your treatments, I hope you enjoyed it  lucky you with the sun! It has been really miserable recently, especially on Tuesday when we were in London! Thank you, I will keep you updated. DH says he's not in pain which is good. Good luck with your scan on Wednesday, that will be lovely finding out the sex too  wishing you all the best  it's lovely that you're feeling movement too 

Hello to Catf, June and everyone else reading. Hope you're all ok 

AFM - DH's op went to plan on Tuesday and he's now resting, as he has to rest for the first 3 days. He can take the support off tomorrow, so will see how that goes. Hopefully he continued to recover ok. We're just waiting to hear from Mr R about his sample from Saturday and then we'll see him in a couple of months to see if the op has made any difference. Really hoping things improve anyway. We have got the green light for the frozen sperm to be moved from the old clinic to the new clinic, hopefully next week. It will be a relief to cut ties from our old clinic anyway as it was not a good experience. I hope you all have a lovely weekend xx


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## Stini

Melly, that's a phenomenal amount! Well done!

Katfish and June, hope the processes are going well? Brazil nuts definitely worth a try to help with lining. My crazy acupuncturist once gave me a vaginal candle (you insert one end and burn the other) for thickening  but I was never "brave" (or something) enough to try it. You will get there, though. June, what's the next stage for you?

MrsRL, glad the op went alright, and so glad you feel like the new clinic means hope. Sometimes these things really do make all the difference, psychologically.

MrsChef: so exciting about the flutters. I didn't feel much till 22 weeks, which was Christmas. On the 23rd we went to a concert with African drumming, which got the baby very excited; on the 27th I went to see Star Wars at the cinema with my brother and the kicks started in earnest when the music swelled, so I definitely recommend loud music and bass lines as a way of kickstarting the, er, kicks... Glad you had a good break, too. You and your fella sound like you're really in sync just now, which is make me feel all warm and fuzzy. Have you got lists of names yet? 

Catf: they are obsessed with contraception, aren't they? I am thinking about the Pill, just to help keep my endo in check, but yeah, it's been a bit awkward to have to explain my poor fella's sperm issues to every blimming woman who walks through the door (and there have been a lot of them). I got so bashed about that sex isn't on the cards yet anyway, but I'd really rather they weren't treating me like a teenager! Scarlett is such a gorgeous wee dote, btw. 

MrsLondon: we're also on the Infacol, as this boy does not want to burp anymore, but it's not working brilliantly. Did have the refusing to sleep unless on one of us issue, but we've been doing a lot of rocking and singing and we bought a Sleepyhead pod, which is stupendously expensive for what is basically three pieces of wadding in a special bag, but has been totally worth it as it means F feels cocooned even when he's not being held. He sleeps in it all the time now; have also started wearing him in the BabyBjorn round the house in order to get things done, as he nods right off in that too.  You can get Sleepyheads on the NCT website or on Amazon.

Re. the Gina Ford chat, I did have the book and was going to follow it but have decided to disregard it. Every midwife and health visitor we've had has been really scathing about letting the baby cry it out: apparently NHS and UNICEF policy is to encourage the "fourth trimester" method. One of them put it to me that babies who are picked up whenever they're crying become more secure and confident adults because at this crucial time they know their needs are being met, whereas the ones left to cry it out just get the message that nobody's coming for them, and apparently you can't train tiny babies anyway? It's working for us: Fergus is now six weeks (is he the oldest babby on this board?) and needing to feed every two and a half to four hours, just waking up of his own accord. Gaining weight steadily: just hit 9lbs, which is great as he was early and small. And he's just started smiling, and is alert and playing with things and babbling and generally just being a tiny wee ball of lovely! The smiles make everything worth it: the first one came at 4am last week in the middle of a loooong night and basically saved me from tears.. 

We took him up to Aberdeen on the train last weekend as I had a thing at a festival there, and even though he hated the hotel room and freaked out, everything else was actually pretty easy, and has lead us to feel we can be a bit more mobile with him (we're going to try a music festival at the end of this month! It's a fairly child-friendly one with a special baby feeding/changing room, and we're staying in a B&B). Beginning to feel a bit more like my old self again, finally.


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## Melly2015

Hi Ladies, 

Mrschef- how exciting that you’re going to find out the sex next week!   Do you have any inklings either way? So amazing that you’re feeling baby move now, it must make it seem so real  

Catf- I’m glad you’ve found something to help with Scarlett’s trapped wind, sounds like she enjoys her cuddles anyway!  

MrsLondon- I hope Annika gets some relief soon from her trapped wind, it must be so tough on babies when they can’t tell  you what’s wrong  

MrsRL- I hope you get some positive news about DH’s sample from Saturday. It will be no time at all before October comes around and you’re cycling again....and we’ll all be cheering you on!  

Katfish- hope your lining is building up nicely. I’ve been drinking Apple, Beetroot and Blackcurrent juice from M&S as beetroot juice is meant to be really good for helping your lining, but it’s disgusting on it’s own. At my last stimms scan, my lining was better than during previous cycles, so that might be worth a try?  

Stini- glad to hear that F is doing well, and the trip to Aberdeen went well. I hope he enjoys the music festival at the end of the month too!!! Must be amazing getting smiles from him now  

Hi to everyone else,  

AFM- 15 of my embies are still growing and at 6-8 cells now which is spot on for day 3. Will find out on Sunday how many make it to blastocyst. I just hope that once 2 of them are tucked up inside me, that one of them will stick it out this time


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## Katfish

MrsLondon - I'm glad that Annika is doing well I do suggest infacol the other one is gripe water but that doesn't work as well since they took the alcohol out of it!!! But can do the job! Do you think it's the fact of being flat in the Moses basket too?! Because you could try to raise the end of one side of the stand and that may help a little! I remember someone on here had to take that but didn't remember who it was! We will see on Thursday if just the extra tablet and week has done the job! I remember in the past that my lining wasn't that thick even after 70days with no bleed! I have a feeling this is linked with PCOS! My AF's are never really that heavy I don't think either! I remember them being heavier in the past! 

Melly that's fab news about those embies! Fingers crossed you get some Frosties too! Will be thinking of you on Sunday! I'm allergic to apples of all things so wouldn't be able to have that but it's very interesting how many natural things are supposed to have affects on the body!

MrsChef very nice I hope that you had an amazing time and to be pampered too how lovely! Lots of people have Babymoons these days! It sounds to me like your getting used to the being pregnant milarkey!  will be thinking of you on Wednesday! fingers crossed the extra will help! Funny how fast I'm going through the tablets now though! Apparently if I get my positive result I will have to continue with the two tablets! Luckily it's not the most expensive bit! Only £17 for 84tablets!

CatF thank you!  

MrsRL sadly I've not got better now I'm just bunged up and more grumpy with it! We have consented that only one is thawed and implanted but if that one doesn't survive then the other will be thawed! Tim was very concerned that would end in a multiple pregnancy if we had both implanted! I haven't looked at other things but I may do if the tablets don't work! I'm very skeptical about these kinds of things because I worry that if I do them and it doesn't work or there's problems it may have been because of that! Oxford are a little more open now about talking about taking supplements but in all means they don't recommend as there is no clear evidence that it works! Sadly I also don't like nuts or pomegranate! Yes it will hopefully we will see what happens! DH is worried that it may also ruin the holiday too if things don't work out! Glad that the op went well and hopefully you will see a good outcome in it! When you say support I just imagine one of those arm casts which have a pipe holding it out from your body but a willy version can't help but chuckle to myself! (Big kid at heart) 

Stini wow that would be very brave! I stuggle holding my hand above a candle for very long let alone inserting one and lighting it! Could just imagine the fire department being called to a house fire "so exactly where was the candle?!" 🙈😳 aww sweet babies know the right times to do things! And first smiles at 4am when your at the end of your teather is a great time to start them! Glad that you have managed to get away for a little bit and that your planning more family trips out too!  

AFM - getting very grumpy now it's past the 3wks of this cold now and it still has no sign of stopping! At least the pushing the ET back a week gives me some more time to get rid of this! Looking forward to the scan on Thursday however to see if we can finally set a date for ET!


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## MrsLondon

Morning fellow FF buddies,

Hope you're all having a lovely weekend?

Melly good luck with your transfer today!! Thinking of you....xx

Stini, Catf, Katfish, thanks for your advice. I was giving her infacol but now started on the gripe water. Also just purchased a sleepyhead in hope that it works. Been raising the Moses basket too but not sure how much that works because each morning around 5 she throws up a bit in sleep basically chokes on it so I have to pick her up quickly and then try to burp her and then I put her in my bed with me and rub her tummy whilst she moves around in discomfort. What's really odd is that she's actually asleep but I can tell it's uncomfortable but it doesn't actually wake her unless she passes wind and cries in her sleep. I also give her a dummy here and it's the only time in the day that she takes it. She's a good sleeper in the night too, been going 5/6 hours which is great. Just wish I could sleep instead of having to watch her to make sure she's ok and rub her tummy. I think she might have silent reflux as she has a lot of the symptoms. Especially as last night she fed around 2-2.30 on and off and I burped her and she was still choaking at 5am! Even though her feed was hours ago. 

Stini - glad you're feeling like your normal self and Fergus has settled into a routine. It's great about his weight too and that he's smiling    Annika is 5 weeks today, I can't wait for her to smile. I have a baby Bjorn too and a wrap sling but she's really fussy in them too so still having to do one handed jobs. I've got the happiest baby on the block book which advocates the fourth trimester. I've read bits of it and it's really interesting. I'm envious of your trips! I get worried going to the shops with Annika, she doesn't really seem content unless she's in my arms. I will preserve with the slings.

Katfish- how's the cold now? Hope you're feeling better? 

MrsRL- glad you can finally cut ties with your old clinic. I hope you're a lot happier with your new one.

Hi to MrsChef, June and everyone else out there reading this and sorry if ive missed anyone out.

Happy Sunday xx


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## Katfish

MrsLondon The elevating the Moses basket assists with keeping it in her tummy if she has reflux! It does sound like Reflux to me maybe talk to your GP about some Gaviscon that may help! Also I don't remember are you breastfeeding or formula? If breast try leaning back a little when feeding it will slow down the milk supply and may help her to tolerate it a little more and at that time she may struggle to tolerate the let down and give herself tummy ache! If bottle feeding formula try the comfort milks that may help! I'm not feeling great still woke up this am with a sore throat again and the coughing just never stops! So bunged up still too! If I am still suffering on Thursday I will go to the GP again! Just about to get to my parents in London now for a family BBQ for my grandparents 55th wedding anniversary! Hope your having a nice weekend!


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## Catf2008

Melly - good luck for today, fingers crossed for you


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## mrschef04

Wow!  The board is moving fast again!

Melly - Good luck for everything today!  Thinking of you and fingers crossed!

Katfish - family BBQ today sounds fun!  The weather is perfect for it!  Geez, you do need some rest honey.  I hope you start feeling better soon!  The only things that help me is 12 hours of sleep over a few nights and lots of freshly squeezed orange juice.  Good luck on Thursday and can't wait to hear about transfer dates.  

MrsLondon - hi honey!  Wish I could help you with the feeding issues, but I'll be in the same boat as you in just 4 months and 1 week!  Hope everything else is well?  Gina Ford - yea, it does seem strict, but as I'm only taking 5 1/2 months off for maternity leave, I'm going to have to start getting baby disciplined and ready for things as soon as he/she pops out.  I'm probably not going to do everything in the book, just the feeding and sleeping times and that's about it.  

Stini - so, tested your theory last night and baby started kicking straightaway to the bass line of "Smack My B*tch Up" by Prodigy.  Lol!  At least he won't like terrible music like Disney's Frozen (that kind of stuff is banned in my home!).  However, baby won't be able to resist good music, as I play instruments in the evenings anyway!  Gina Ford - I still might do some of it.  The scheduling bit seems like the best bit and that's about it.  If your baby is already good, then that rocks, but I think I just never know with these things.

MrsRL - that's good things are moving along and I'm glad DH is doing well and not in pain.  

AFM - I'm getting heavier, so everything is taking a bit more effort.  I just breathe heavy now and I have to walk a bit slower.  I'm nearing 21 weeks now and have my scan on Wednesday.  I can honestly say I'm kind of hoping for a boy, but as long as it's healthy, it doesn't matter.  My DH doesn't mind either way, so as long as we have a baby together.  Can't wait to see baby again on Wednesday.  I hope everything is okay.  I keep forgetting to take my Vitamin D tablets, so I hope things are okay in that respect.  Once we find out if it's a boy or a girl, it's game on for getting the rest of the bits!


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## Melly2015

Hi Ladies,

Katfish- can’t belive you’re still feeling rubbish, you poor thing   . I’m really really hoping that you get some good news about your lining this week.   Enjoy the bbq today- it’s fab weather for it

MrsLondon- sorry to hear Anneka has been getting some discomfort. I am no expert on babies getting reflux, but as an adult who has had reflux herself (I’ve got a few tummy issues), it does sound like that’s her issue. I have to sleep with my head a bit higher than my tummy, so hopefully raising the basket will help a bit. Also, if I ever do get some reflux at night (doesn’t happen me much anymore) then I do find that I’m coughing  for hours, as it irritates my throat when I get it, so that could be why she’s coughing/ choking hours after her feed? I hope you get something to work for her (and you) soon.  

Catf- thank you for the good luck wishes, hope all is well with Scarlett  

Stini and Rumplestiltskin- hope the boys are doing well  

Mrschef- I am also very excited about finding out what you’re having!!!   Just as a warning...my sister is not a girlie person at all, and somehow my 5 year old niece has turned out to be the girliest, Disney princess obsessed person ever   . My poor sister has no idea where she gets it from!!!! Glad you got to feel baby kicking again, you could maybe try some rock music too?? (depending on what you are into of course!!)

AFM- I have now got 2 top quality blastocysts on board   . After down regging for what felt like years, I am so glad to have got to this stage. One of the others was good enough to be frozen today, and they'll leave the others until tomorrow to see if any of them can be frozen too. So back into the joy of the 2ww now and just hoping and praying that this is our time


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## MrsLondon

Exciting news Melly!!! Hope the 2ww is kind to you. Are you working over the period? 

Katfish - how was the party? Sorry that you're suffering! So annoying! Going back to the GP might be a wise idea. I'm breastfeeding, feel like I've tried every trick in the book. She woke up choking and gagging at 4.45 this morning and has been jerking, writhing, chouging etc ever since  

MrsChef- Goodluck for Wednesday!! I'm only taking 7months mat leave so I know how you feel. I'm hoping to get Annika more settled once I sort her reflux problem out. 

AFM - I'm calling the GP at 8 when they open. Want to see if they'll prescribe something for Annika baby gaviscon maybe?! She's been gagging, coughing, writhing around for the last three hours now and no matter what I do it's like this every morning. Poor little girl.

Happy Monday xxx


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## Catf2008

Melly - that's great news I have everything crossed for you 

Mrslondon- I hope you manage to get something sorted, it's not nice seeing them in pain is it  

Mrschef- I found the moving around so hard as the bump got heavy, bet you can't wait till Wednesday & to start buying all the bits

Hello to everyone else hope you are ok

Afm- currently have a baby sound asleep on my chest who should be having her bottle right about now, made hubby do the night feeds last so I could get some more sleep and it seems to have worked, I can't believe Scarlett is over 5 weeks old now, I'm ipset as she still hasn't met any of hubby's family & won't do till the end of July 😞


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## Katfish

MrsChef - I'm feeling slightly better today but still coughing and struggle with getting bunged up when I am talking! It's finding out week! Very exciting!!! 

Melly - thank you! Congrats on becoming PUPO I've got everything crossed for you and to have got one in the freezer for you so far too that's great! I hope that they have managed to put another one or two in today! 

MrsLondon - the party was ok thank you! I don't have the best relationship with my sister but my grandparents loved the surprise that we went! Spend most of the day in the garden which a bit of natural vitamin D and fresh air can't do any harm! Bless her sounds like she may have aspirated a little bit and needs to cough it up! Fingers crossed your GP will give you some Gaviscon today! 

Catf - glad that you have your DH trained well and making him do a feed to get you some sleep! Hope that your still feeling fresh after some more rest! She's still a baby even if they do have to wait a little longer! Do they live far away then?! 

AFM - currently sat outside in the sun with my feet in a paddling pool and reading a book! The cold looks like it may be clearing up a bit but it's still hanging on there! The DH slipped up a little at the family BBQ and mentions that when I was in hospital someone clipped our car I don't think anyone really clicked onto it but nether the less! He didn't realise he even said it till I told him! My mum also made it a little awkward they doesn't know we are starting FET so I got away with not drinking as I was driving but  when it came to having a toast with champagne for my grandparents she argued about me having a small glass even though I was driving in front of everyone! Whoops! Families hey!


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## Catf2008

Katfish- they live 200 miles from us & in 10 years of living together have only been down to see us 3 times & 1 of those times was our wedding, we are expected to cart her & all her stuff up to them but none are willing to come here to see, I just feel bad for her as she won't get to see them much unless we take her up to see them & I'm being made to feel guilty that we aren't going till end of July, hubby doesn't drive & I'm still recovering from the c section


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## Katfish

Catf - oh dear that's a shame! You would think that they would visit more such a shame that they expect you to uproot to see them! Hopefully they will appreciate it when you go up! My grandma always wanted us to go to Devon for Christmas from London but my parents always refused it never would have worked with Christmas presents and packing there just wouldn't be the space! Plus the risk of letting the big red mans secret out! Last thing you want to hear but the guideline is no more than 90mins at a time in a car seat! So you will need a few pitstops on route too! X x

AFM - the colds nearly gone a few coughs here and there and got a bit of a husky voice but hopefully it will just keep getting better!


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## Katfish

A quick one from me - scan went well this morning my lining was 8.4mm so I have to continue on the two prognova tablets and I had the call from the embryologist who has given me the appointment for ET next Thursday at 11.30 I have to start the pessaries on Saturday morning! So we will be all go again soon! I've sorted it out with work as I was meant to be working the day of ET luckily I'm then off work until the Tuesday and only have three shifts and then I begin my A/L so hopefully shouldn't be too strenuous! 

Wishes to everyone!


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## mrschef04

Katfish - Amazing!  Yay!  I am so happy you go in for egg transfer next week!  I'm also just happy that your cold is almost gone, so it's perfect timing to be absolutely in peak condition for transfer.  Get plenty of rest this week, honey! Hopefully no one caught on about your hospital visit.

Catf - don't feel guilty honey.  You gave birth just a few weeks ago.  It should be them that comes and visits you.  Big hugs xx

MrsLondon - How is Annika doing?  did you manage to sort any meds out for her through your GP?  Poor thing.  Hope she is doing better.

Melly 2015 - How is the two week wait going for you?  It feels like this whole thing is one big wait.  Oof, for me, the first 12 weeks were the worst wait!  I'll definitely try rock music next time.

AFM - had my 20-week scan yesterday.  I'm 21 weeks today.  All good - baby very healthy.  Baby's tummy was slim and measuring bang on 20 weeks, but his length was measuring at 22 weeks or so.  It will be a tall baby.  And... I am having a boy!  lol!  I kind of knew it, somehow.  I thought that there was a tiny chance it would be a girl, but all of the old wives' tales were correct in that I am having a boy.  Even my DH (who doesn't know) told me that he has a sneaky suspicion we're having a boy.  

Hello to everyone else out there!


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## Katfish

MrsChef ah he's going to be a tall boy then! That's fab news about having a boy! How are you going to manage to keep that quite from him? I would be very worried of saying he accidentally and putting my foot right in it! Yes fingers crossed!

Melly when's your OTD? Hope that things are going well!


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## Melly2015

Hi Ladies, 

MrsLondon- How is Annika now? I hope your GP was able to suggest something to help her, it must be horrible to see her distressed like that  

Catf- sorry about your in-laws, you would think that they’d make more of an effort to come and visit you. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty- as well as recovering from a section, you’ve got a newborn to be looking after and you need to put what’s best for you and Scarlett first  

Katfish- I bet you’re relieved that your cold is nearly gone, fx it will continue to improve for you. Exciting that you have a date for ET now and everything is finally moving for you. That’s good that you don’t have too many shifts during the 2ww, hopefully everything will be as stress-free as possible for you over the next few weeks, you definitely deserve it after everything you’ve gone through to get this far  

Mrschef- congratulations on being team blue!!!   It must be exciting being able to plan a bit more and buy some bits and pieces for baby. Hope he enjoys the rock music when you try that!!!  

Hi to everyone else  

I’m just about surviving the 2ww. Was pretty calm about it all until last night when I suddenly had a panic about everything. I’ve had a lot of aches yesterday which feel a bit like it does before I AF arrives. And my Fragmin injection yesterday gave me a horrible red itchy bump which wasn’t fun either. Am currently 5dp5dt and my OTD is next Wednesday. I’m so terrified of this not working, am just hoping that one or both of my embies are still holding on tight. Going out for dinner tonight with DH, so hopefully that will distract me a bit...it’s just a pity that I can’t distract myself with a bottle of wine and a straw!!!


----------



## Katfish

Melly I'm very relieved that it's nearly gone! Maybe the thinner lining was a way of telling us to hold on! Fingers crossed! It's been a very ruff year! How comes your having to do Fragmin injections? When I did them after my OHSS I ended up with a rather red lump on one occasion made me paranoid about doing them any more as I was running out of non bruised locations! I had them all 12days of being in hospital and they wanted me to continue 10dats at home! I stopped on day 7 all the fluid had gone and I was fed up with them! Will be thinking of you on Wednesday! Got everything crossed for you too! Enjoy your dinner!


----------



## Stini

Melly: how's the 2ww feeling now? You can't tell anything by the aches, but I remember all too well how difficult it is to ignore them. Everything crossed for you. Hope you're having a fab swanky dinner.

Katfish: well done on your lining. That sounds like a nice, thick cosy one. I second Melly's wishes for a lovely calm 2ww: you *both* really deserve it. Here comes the good bit, I bet. 

MrsChef: hooray for the tall boy! I had convinced myself ours was a girl too, although I think I really knew all along he wasn't. We found the name came very easily to us as soon as we knew, though, despite weeks of squabbling over (mostly female) names. Have you got anywhere with names yet? Loving that he's into the Prodigy. F went for anything with a good bassline: Jean Genie was always good for getting him to move if he was being a bit quiet.

Catf: that's so strange that your in-laws aren't being more accommodating. How easy is it for you to make the trip?

MrsLondon: how's Annika doing? 

AFM: Things are getting better and better by increments - we did our first day out in the city, just the two of us, and it was manageable (I even breastfed on a train) and the boy gave us a beautiful four-hour sleeping jag last night, which was a rare treat. However, he's just fed for over an hour and is demanding more, so I need to get back to the grind. I went out to lunch with two non-baby-having friends yesterday and tried to explain that my job now is just milk administrator to a tiny tyrannical junkie, and could see them not quite knowing what to say, because I don't have very much chat to have if they don't want details of nappies and feeding times!


----------



## Katfish

Stini thank you I really hope so!  glad your managing to do more and more!

AFM - feeling pretty emotional to be honest! The lack of sleep and currently on my 3rd 12.5h shift in a row may be partly to blame and got home last night to the DH in a ****ty mood due to his family! But I don't know in my head I'm feeling really negatively about this cycle! I don't know why! I am doubting we are making the wrong decision and should have both embryos replaced rather than the one! I'm extremely nervous about Thursday! Even though the procedure doesn't make me nervous it's the after marth of it the worry that we are not going to get the result we want and that if we do the worry still that it will not last! I also have a busy weekend after ET on Thursday! Friday we have a wedding reception to go to in Derby so will be staying with DH's parents and then Sunday we have to get back to Oxford and I am going to see Coldplay at Wembley with my family! Funny thing was when we started the fresh cycle I was feeling positive then after everything we have been through I think is why it's made it very negative! Nearly burst into tears at work but managed to suck it back up! It's just a very hard and emotional time and I don't know what to do with myself!


----------



## MrsLondon

Oh Katfish you poor thing. It's a really difficult journey so you're bound to feel a range of different emotions. I was the same when we cycled in the summer. Even researched new clinics and getting my embryos transferred and all sorts. Had so many melt downs but as least you've got things to keep you busy.

MrsChef - A boy!!! Whoohoooo so exciting! You must be stoaked. Have you thought of names??

Catf - how's Scarlett doing? Is she still clingy? Annika is pretty much the same re clingyness, allows me to put her down for a max of 10 mins if the conditions are right.

Stini- you're like super mum!!! I need to take a leaf out of your book.

Melly - you should be close to OTD now?? Thinking of you.

AFM -thank you for asking after Annika, we got baby gaviscon but that didn't help so now have been given Ranitidine, started it yesterday so will see if it helps. She's on the lowest dose so have been told to call if it's kinda working and then they will up it accordingly. Don't know why they wouldn't just give her the normal dose to start with. I'm also taking her to see a cranial osteopath tomorrow, will try anything now to be honest. 

Xx


----------



## mrschef04

MrsLondon - Thanks so much.  Yes, he will be named after my husband, Maximilian or Little Max.  His full name will be Maximilian Aengus Christopher Maciej Rehan Holba.  Named after his father, three (of 5 guardians) and his grandfather.   Oh honey!  I hope Annika gets better.    It still must be stressful!

Katfish - I completely understand.  I was a dang nightmare on IVF!  It's easy to feel negative about feeling so positively, as you're almost questioning yourself.  Try and get some relaxation in honey.  Just chill your head as much as possible, if you can.  

Melly 2015 - how is the 2ww going?  I know it's such an anxious time and then you go on to two more waits before you finally feel even remotely relaxed!

Stini - I know what you mean about friends.  It is almost isolating having a baby.  Particularly if the majority of your friends don't!  I had two friends over on the weekend and I just didn't feel I had anything to talk about now.  I'm not dating and I'm having a baby, so I can't drink, etc. etc. etc.  Yes, he will be named after my husband, Maximilian or Little Max.  His full name will be Maximilian Aengus Christopher Maciej Rehan Holba.  Named after his father, three (of 5 guardians) and his grandfather.


----------



## Katfish

MrsLondon - I remember you looking up other clinics and look where you are now! Ah fantastic I hope that the ranitidine does the trick for you! It does take a few days before it starts working! Bless you! Hope that goes well!

MrsChef - wow that's a name and a half! He will curse you when he has to fill out forms that what full names! 

Melly - thinking of you for tomorrow! I hope it goes well!

AFM - my tummy has felt a bit more settled today so far! I spoke with my friend at the clinic this morning and said that I can do the Pessaries vaginally and just tell them on the day and they will give me a clean in there! I think as its only 4more pessaries I will keep doing them how I am but then will go vaginally after that! I don't care about the mess! I'd rather my tummy wasn't whirling all the time and I just have to go with panty liners! Let's see! I'm feeling slightly cheerier today but still very delicate! I know that it's not just me that is going through these feelings because the whole thing is very stressful! Luckily the DH is standing nice and strong by my side and is admitting that he is worried about the whole thing too! Last time it felt as though it was just me! OMG I'm always hungry the things stress do to you!


----------



## Katfish

Melly how did it go?!

AFM - I have a break down at work today not good!!! We have a baby with an infection which is very dangerous for any pregnant woman due to cause of Neurological problems with the fetus! Then thing not being done so that the risk of spreading was minimum! So I had a little melt down! I really don't know what to do for the best any more! It's tempting to get signed off which I'm certain my GP would do! Or to continue but my nerves and stress continues!  I was feeling better yesterday but today it's a completely different story again! ET is tomorrow!


----------



## MrsRL

Evening ladies,

Katfish - sorry to hear you had a breakdown at work today, if you feel you would be happier to get signed off then you should, as you need to look out for yourself right now. It sounds like it's really stressing you out at work and you don't need that when your PUPO   Does your work know you're cycling at the moment? If so, could you talk to your manager? If not, it sounds like it would be better for you to get signed off. Wishing you the very best of luck for ET tomorrow, not long until you're PUPO now      I will be thinking of you tomorrow, look after yourself 

MrsLondon - I hope little Annika is doing better and the ranitidine is working for her. How did it to with the cranial osteopath? 

Stini - I'm glad you're managing to do more  

Melly - I've replied on the other thread, but thinking of you  

MrsChef - congratulations on being team blue   Great news that baby is doing so well  how will you manage to keep the gender from DH? Does he not want to know?

Catf - sorry to hear Scarlett has not met any of DH's family yet, such a shame. 

Hello to anyone else reading, hope you're ok.

AFM - not much is happening with me ATM. DH seems to be recovering from his op ok touchwood, it is 2 weeks today. He is back at work but still on light duties due to the physical nature of his job. The Saturday after the op DH ended up passing out for a matter of seconds trying to have a bath believe it or not, he got up quickly and felt sick/light headed and then sat for a while and thought he could walk to the bedroom but ended up fainting before getting there. Luckily I was there and could stop the fall a bit and he was fine after. We don't think it was related to the op as he's had similar in the past from getting up too quick and is likely low blood pressure. It was worrying at the time though! His frozen sperm has now been delivered safely to the new clinic, so that's good. We have heard back from Mr R regarding his sperm sample before the op, and he wants him to continue taking tamoxifen so we'll see if that makes any difference too. DH then has to see Mr R at the end of July for a check up following his op. We celebrated our 5th Wedding Anniversary on Saturday, can't believe it has been 5 years already! Take care everyone  xx


----------



## Melly2015

Hi Ladies...

Not a great day today. I got a bfn on the test my clinic gave me and a really really faint line on a FRER. The clinic told me to continue with meds and test again tomorrow. So was preparing for the worst but also hoping for the best and then this afternoon I started bleeding quite a bit. So am pretty sure I'm out... but because I got the faint positive, I still need to test again tomorrow and keep taking the Fragmin and progesterone. It's been a horrible day and I still don't have a definitive result. I've put so much into this cycle, I just don't know what I've done wrong to end up in this situation- again.  

Katfish- I would definitely get signed off work if I was you- it's not worth the risk. 

Hope everyone else is ok

Xxx


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## mrschef04

Melly - I'm so sorry.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.  I wish I could give you a big hug.  Keep us posted and we're here if you need us.  

Katfish - I would definitely get signed off.  It is definitely not worth the risk at all!

MrsRL - Happy Anniversary!  5 years!  How time flies, eh?  I hope the Tamoxifen does the trick with his sperm.  It's a long journey, but I'm hoping for all the best results for you!

AFM - I'm just relaxing with the bump.  I feel small movements every now and then, but not huge ones.  I only get big movements if I have something sweet to eat or if it's late at night.  I'm still doing my exercise, but it's getting harder now with the extra weight at 22 weeks already.  Not too long left - 18 weeks to go.  Starting to look at nursery stuff now.  Would like to get it done in the next six weeks before I hit the third trimester when I'm a lot heavier.


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## Katfish

MrsRL - it's just very hard to make that decision really! I have been off sick so much recently too! The deputy matron is aware as is the line manager I work closely with who I cried to yesterday! Thank you for your wishes! Oh dear I often go dizzy when I'm in the shower if I haven't had anything to drink or eat the heat can really affect you! I'm glad that you where near by but hope you didn't hurt yourself in the process! I'm glad that his sperm has been moved. Are they testing your DH's sperm again at this visit? Happy 5th wedding anniversary!  

Melly - oh no how did the test go today! I hope that it's getting brighter for you! I hope that the bleeding has stopped I wonder if it's the second embryo but the other one is stuck in there nicely fingers crossed! It's not worth the risks your very right!

MrsChef - a lot of people feel more at night because you have more time to feel it! Sounds like your definitely getting into it now though! I know that's right really!

AFM - I now have a little embie on board! My stomach was whirling just beforehand because it was a few hours post using the pessary and my body wanted to get rid of it! So I was panicking that when the lady would say relax that all sorts of things would happen! Haha! Luckily nothing embarrassing happened! A lovely lady Dr (who performed it) along with a male dr who actually performed my last transfer and called me multiple times when I was in hospital with OHSS was the scanning assistant this time! The embryologist explained that the embie was doing exactly as it should be doing and they only had to thaw the one they froze on day 6 which means we still have one in the freezer! So I'm currently sat on the sofa catching up on tv and hoping that this little 'bobsicle' is nuzzling right in there! Along with a little scan pic I have of it nicely in there with my apparently textbook bladder! (After I Man'ed up and asked for one) now for the waiting game. I'm going to see what to do about work after the weekend! I am not due back at work until Tuesday!


----------



## mrschef04

Katfish - Congrats on being officially PUPO!!!  Good luck honey!  Watch loads of crap on TV, relax and sleep a lot!!!  How are you feeling now?


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## MrsRL

Katfish - congratulations on being PUPO  I'm glad nothing embarrassing happened at ET  Good luck  I hope the 2ww goes smoothly for you. Make sure you relax as much as you can before going back to work. Luckily I didn't hurt myself when DH fainted and he didn't either. Thanks for the anniversary wishes. I'm not sure if he will have to do a sample at that appointment, I thought he would but he seems to think it's just a check up 

Melly - so sorry you're going through this. Anymore news from you? Definitely keep us updated, and we're all here if you need us  

MrsChef - how lovely that you are feeling movements, it must be wonderful  thanks for the anniversary wishes. Time does fly!! Enjoy looking at nursery stuff  

Hello to everyone else! I'm so glad it's Friday! xx


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## Stini

Melly: So sorry, my lovely. Sending all the hugs and the still-sore memory of what it feels like. It's not bloody fair, this nonsense.

MrsRL: Your poor fella. That must have been a bit scary. Has Mr R given you a timetable for your next move? We were considering seeing him if our last round hadn't worked, so I'm very interested in him.

Katfish: Congratulatins on being PUPO, and how great that there's still a wee one in the freezer. You give yourself maximum loving now, you hear? Feet up, smoothies on, and if you feel you should sign off absolutely do that.

MrsChef: what a thoroughly impressive name for little Max. The movements really do increase with time - I didn't begin to feel anything till week 22. I found Pintrest really good for nursery ideas. That's the proper fun bit! What sort of thing are you thinking?

MrsLondon: sorry, didn't want to sound like one of those awful overachiever mums. The first time we went into Glasgow Fergus cried so much about being in the pram that I spent an hour locked in the breastfeeding room of a shopping centre crying myself as I tried to calm him down! We got there, though. I know I'm really lucky to have a partner who works from home, and, entire days of colic aside, a relatively low-maintainance baby: I think the last few weeks have been a lot easier on methan most mums. I totally recommend trying a thing like a city trip, though: it has its awful moments where you think "this has Been a horrible mistake, let's go home right away" but at the end of the day you survived and you feel a bit more like life is possible again - it makes you braver. We spent yesterday at a (very baby friendly) music festival, which I had been secretly
Y dreading, and which turned out to be a wonderful thing to do. It does help us that Fergus is so happy in his carrier, though - he just snoozes the second he's in it and that gives me loads of freedom I know most people don't have. However, I only started to feel that things were possible after about 6 weeks, and even now (9 weeks) there are still the days of non-stop crying on very little sleep when it's difficult to hold it all together.


----------



## Katfish

Hi everyone sorry not a single replying post but I'm on th train at the moment on th way back from seeing Coldplay at Wembley! It was amazing!!!!

Anyway thank you everyone for the wishes! I hope that everyone with there new little additions had a lovely first Father's Day with your own little families! 

Thing are ok with me at the moment it's been a busy weekend including the DH getting well and truly wasted at the wedding and a very ****** off Mrs! You would think that they would at least try and tone the drinking down a little! Anyway it was still a good day other than that! Mood wise I have felt OK still panicking at times of all things I'm worried about at the moment it's an ectopic pregnancy had some twinges one side and that's the first thing that came to mind! I think I'm going to go back to work on Tuesday! Thing is it's a slippery slope! Having time off now if we get our BFP then I will still not want to go back! I'm going to put my feet up tomorrow in preparation for it! 

On the extremely positive side my DH is definitely more into it this time! Actually telling me his feelings seems a lot more involved probs helps by the fact he's here the whole time on this cycle unlike the first! Which actually gives me comfort to see him so moved by it all this time! 

Anyway should stop ramberling on! Wishing everyone well and praying that Little Bobsicle (p.s. Don't google that haha) is making his home in there for a nice cozy 40weeks!


----------



## Katfish

P.s. Thinking of you Melly!


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## Melly2015

Hi ladies. 

Will try to catch up properly later on but just to let you know it's now a bfn for me   Have been testing most days since Wednesday and have got several faintly positive tests but did 2 of them this morning and both bfn so am out now. Completely gutted and just wish I knew what went wrong.


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## Katfish

Melly I'm so sorry to hear that you have been on my mind so much the last few days I'm so sorry that it's not continued to be a BFP for you on this occasion! Especially after your Mammoth DR! Sending lots of love and wishes your way! X X X


----------



## mrschef04

Stini - oof!  I'm really sorry!  Is the crying quite bad?  I'm quite worried as my DH goes back to work after only two weeks and I'll be left on my own.  Hence, why I'm trying to admin plan the hell out of everything.  I know this sounds terrible, but I think it's the reason why I really truly want to do the whole Gina Ford thing.  I know people are dead set against it, but I really don't want to go crazy with all of the crying.  I don't think I'll take on all of the advice, but I just really got to get on with it.  I am admin person, so I've mapped out a big schedule with my baby already.  After six weeks, I'm going straight to a Virgin Active with creche and baby is going to be in the creche for two to three hours of the day - mainly to get baby used to nursery anyway because I'm taking such a short maternity leave (5 1/2 months) and I don't want to be one of those mothers that gets freaked out by having to go back to work.  I also know that it will be to keep my sanity in check.  My week away is to go to Paris on the Eurostar - first class, so we have more room.  It will be baby's first time away with me and DH and it will be three and a half months after as well.  Hopefully thinks will be calmed down by then.  Even DH is taking Mondays off, so he can spend time with me and baby, which I think is really wonderful.  btw, doesn't mean it's all going to work, but I'm doing that weird admin, plan everything out thing just in case.

Melly - I'm so so sorry about your BFN.  I'm sending you a lot of love and hugs your way xxxx  I really wish you nothing but the best.  The whole thing is heartbreaking xx

AFM - just plugging along and at 23 weeks this week.  I have had to get pregnancy shoes finally, as I'm getting big, but swearing by skechers go walk.  No matter what - not much is sinking in for my DH and I yet.  We still haven't allowed ourselves to be happy about the pregnancy or get excited.  We talked last night and we both agreed we're just waiting for baby to show up before we get happy.  It's a weird feeling this...


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## Catf2008

Melly - I'm so sorry  sending you lots of hugs

Mrschef - I know what you mean, we didn't really allow ourselves to excited until Scarlett arrived as I was worried the whole time something would go wrong

Katfish - congrats on being pupo I have everything crossed for you

Afm - we've been struggling here as both me & Scarlett have had rotten colds, we now seem to be getting over them, hubby is doing my head in (in a kind of good way) his so worried about her he calls or messages me nearly every hour asking how she is and if she needs to go to the doctors etc I got my first big smile off Scarlett today she had been crying when I was out the room but the second I came in she gave me a nice smile


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## MrsRL

Morning ladies 

Stini - we're seeing Mr R at the end of July for DH to have a check up following the varicocele op. DH is also taking tamoxifen to hopefully improve numbers so he will need to do another sample at some point to check that. We're hoping to be able to cycle again in October/November so really hope things have improved for then  it sounds like you enjoyed the festival, glad it went well and Fergus was happy throughout 

Katfish - I'm glad things are going well so far and that you enjoyed seeing Coldplay  hopefully being busy has helped you. I hope work goes ok today and it doesn't stress you out. When are you off again? It's great that DH is more supportive this time and he is getting more involved. Keeping everything crossed for you. I couldn't help but google it because you said not to! Haha!!   

MrsChef - wow, 23 weeks  I love go walks, they are so comfy!! I don't blame you for not letting it sink in just yet, I don't think it would be able to believe it either if it ever happens for us. It sounds like you are planning everything well, I'm a planner too as work in admin. 

Catf - sorry to hear you and Scarlett both have colds. It's lovely that DH is worrying so much  how lovely that you got your first smile today too  

Melly - thinking of you lovely.  

Hello to everyone else.

AFM - not much to report really at the moment. DH is recovering well still. Work is manic at the moment so looking forward to the weekend already. Take care ladies xx


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## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

Melly I am so so sorry. My heart goes out to you. Any ideas when your follow up will be? Sending you massive cuddles xxx

MrsRL glad to hear that DH is recovering well. Must have been scary when he passed out.

Catf sorry to hear that both you and Scarlet have been unwell, must have been really challenging to look after a little one and be ill yourself. Good to hear you're on the mend.

Stini don't be silly, I don't think your bragging at all. I lap up advice from others and I know every baby is different. We've had some success with our sling  she went in it for over an hour today and even took a nap in it.

Katfish - whooohoooo you're pupo! Hope you're resting as well as having a good time lol. Glad DH is being more supportive too.

MrsChef- nice to hear you're planning everything so you're fully prepared just be aware that babies don't always play game and follow the routine you want them too. Also Gina is very restrictive with nap times etc. You might find yourself stuck at home all the time and getting out works wonders for your mood. I only say that because I was trying to follow Gina too but it doesn't work when you have plans to go out or your baby has reflux so needs to be held upright after feeds for 30mins so then gets attached to being cuddled. I had all these ideas too about no dummies and self soothing but when your little baby is crying for you and they are still so little it makes it very hard to not pick them up for cuddles.

AFM i think the ranitidine is working now, she still has her ups and downs and the early mornings are still a struggle but we'll get there I'm sure (feeling a bit more positive today following success with a sling  )

Xx


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## mrschef04

Hi MrsLondon - Yes, by goodness I know!  All I'm expecting is that I planned and scheduled as best I can.  I just don't know what to expect!  The main thing that is actually freaking me out is my in-laws and my DH the most.  I just feel like everyone is telling me what to do...


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## Stini

Argh, long post written over several feeds has disappeared!

Melly, I'm so, so sorry. You don't deserve this. Sending hugs and love. Xxxx

Mrschef: I've maybe given too strong an idea in the wrong direction now! Ferg is actually a pretty low-maintainence, chilled out baby. He gets the odd day of colic, which can lead to spasms of crying, he usually has a witching hour between 7-9 where everything is wrong, and he freaked out about being in town the first time we went, but generally he's pretty good - that said he has his jags today, so everything could go to s*** from now on and I've probably jinxed us by saying that. I totally understand why you want that routine, but don't  be too hard on yourself if your bub isn't on schedule by six weeks. We didn't do Gina at all, just go with what F seems to be telling us, and by seven weeks he'd pretty much fallen into a Gina-ish pattern anyway (right now he naps at roughly 9.30, 12, 3, and 6, then sleeps with a quick feed in between roughly 9-12.30, 1-3.30, 4-7.30. I go to bed at 9 and my fella keeps him downstairs for the 1am feed, sleeping on the sofa, then brings him up about 3.30 (3.45 today)- he's now back in bed and I'm expressing enough to buy me tomorrow night's 9-3 sleep!). Because we let Ferg do what he wants without pre-0prescribed times, and he takes most of his daytime naps in the sling, we are much freer now. And we've just started using a dummy for the night sleeps too - I was totally against them at first but towards the end of his 8pm-ish feed, F just goes a bit nuts - he's not really hungry and is too sleepy to make the milk come, but knows he wants to keep suckling for comfort, so the dummy is the obvious option and means he can begin to fall asleep himself. Basically, like MrsLondon says, there are things that will work for your baby and things that don't, and they gradually reveal themselves. The best bit of advice I got was "listen to your mum-senses, because underneath it all you'll know what he needs better than anyone else, and trust yourself" (useful for us in shutting down the endless stream of different midwives giving conflicting advice we had in the first three weeks when I was a wreck and breastfeeding was a challenge). What's up with your inlaws?

MrsLondon: woohoo for the sling! Ferg does most of his daytime naps in there now, and it's amazing having free arms again. Go on yourself Annika! Here's hoping this is the beginning of something.


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## mrschef04

Thanks Stini and MrsLondon!  That's great advice.  As you know, I'm a foster kid, so I have no parents or family (they are still alive, but I have nothing to do with them due to 17 years of abuse).  So I am a little more on edge about everything.

In-laws - to keep a long story short and it is something that stresses me daily: My DH has a son from a previous relationship that he sees every other weekend (Sat/Sun) one night at ours and then DH goes to his parents' with his son the other weekend.  It is a nightmare because his ex is a nightmare.  I won't go into detail, but DH and his ex split when his son was two months old.  She tried to take custody away by lying in court, which caused not only financial stress, but also caused a heart attack in father in law, a bedridden mother in law and a husband that was blue-lined to hospital for stress.  As for his ex, I could go into the fact that she is incredibly mean to others, selfish, materialistic and narcissistic.  My DH's son?  I tried very hard, but I'm afraid he takes after his mother and she tells him mean things about me, so it is very hard to actually build any relationship when there is parental alienation involved, but also when the child is with you so little, that he is only parented by her, it makes things hard to like a child when he acts like his mother (i.e. he will break something of yours, refuse to apologise and then just tell you to buy a new one.  He will call black people "servants" and that "they should be treated like servants."  He refuses to treat wait staff at a restaurant nicely because it's "their place to be treated that way."  

As a result of all of this, my in-laws and my DH are afraid to say anything to criticise BM (who treats them all like sh**) because she has a "golden uterus" and will make excuses for her crappy parenting by saying, "but she LOVES her children." While I was going through infertility and told I couldn't have children, these excuses from in-laws for her crappy parenting made me feel like, "it doesn't matter if you are a nice or a good person. You can be a complete jerk, but if you have a baby, everyone loves you."  

I then got pregnant, so rather than how I am with my baby, it's how it will affect his son and my DH's ex hounds him that their son takes precedence over our baby!!  (I have no contact with BM at all - this is through DH).  I know it will affect his son and DH and I have put plans in place to ensure he is not alienated and that DH still has one-on-one time with him, but I am tired of my life revolving around a crappy ex and his son.  

I haven't really been able to enjoy my pregnancy because of this.  I have nightmares every night and at one point during my first 12 weeks, I considered having a termination and not telling my DH because I knew it would be like this.  I am nervous and I feel so alone in my own corner.  Sorry, a little emotional with hormones!


----------



## Stini

Och, they can try and make a fuss about the son now all they want. By the time your baby comes along your fella and his parents will fall in love with him totally and utterly, and he will be the focus. We can't help it: we're all programmed to fuss over and love babies way more. She knows it, which is why she's making such a big deal of things now. I know we've spoken about the nightmare baby-mama before, but I had no idea the son was like that! What a horror! Sorry it's been so stressful for you, too. 
Do you reckon you could do with some pregnant pals, if your family aren't around and none of your friends have babies? It sounds like you're going to need people on your side. All of my friends already have kids, which was blimming awful during the long years of infertility, but has been amazing now, as they've all come through to help me out/clean the kitchen/ walk the baby while I nap. However, my neighbour has a baby six months older. All of her friends are in their 20s, don't live in the village and don't have kids, and her parents are the other end of the country. She's felt really isolated and found it very difficult - she doesn't make friends easily and isn't much of a people person, so all this came out recently when we were on a walk and I mentioned how great it was to have someone who knew what it was like visiting. I know you're hugely busy with work - I never quite found the time to do this during pregnancy - but maybe an NCT group or preggo yoga or something? That way if things get weird with the in-laws and you don't feel you can talk about it to your husband, you've got sympathetic folk nearby at a similar stage?


----------



## mrschef04

Hi Stini, yes, that's what I'm trying to do.  I've joined an NCT class for my DH and me to attend over three days on different weekends.  I also think I'll join some pregnancy yoga class now.  It would probably be worth it.  

AFM - absolutely devastated by the referendum vote in the UK today.  Voting to leave not only broke us away from the EU, but now it looks like the UK will now be broken apart too into pieces - Scotland, Northern Ireland and, it looks like it's inevitable that London will leave too.  At my work, I've seen e-mails from other clients etc. and the tally looks like it will be up to 6,000 job losses this year.  Another 2008, here we come.  Worried, pregnant and supposed to take maternity leave in October.  Jesus Christ, what bad timing!


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef I just read your story I am so sorry to hear all of that! I really hope that she will allow you to settle when you have your little one! But it makes it hard when you can't break contact because of his son! I know I can't believe that we are out!

Catf - thank you!  I hope that your colds have gone now! Bless him worrying! Glad that she did a big smile for you!

MrsRL - today is my last shift and boy I'm glad I am so exhausted! Still got lots to sort for holiday too! We go to Bloxham Steam rally tomorrow and then we go on holiday on Sunday!

MrsLondon - thank you! I'm glad that the ranitidine is doing the job for you! 

AFM - sorry I have been quite this week has been so manic non stop work and then when I'm home we are sorting out bits for the holiday and then going to bed! Since the beginning of the week I have been feeling really sick all day some days are better than others I've not actually been sick just feel awful! I am telling myself it's the meds and tiredness so not to get hopes up! Other than that and being exhausted from work and hence being pretty emotional at times too I'm doing ok! I am testing Tuesday as we will be at my uncles house the Monday when it's OTD! I really don't know what I am going to do if it's not what we want to hear but I will definitely be drowning my sorrows with a good strong drink!! I hope that you all are have a lovely weekend! I can't believe that we will know in a few days if little Bobsicle has stuck or not!

Right better get back to my babies at work!


----------



## Katfish

So guess what guys?!?! BFP!!!!!!!! 

Turns out feeling sick all the time was a good sign!!! We are so relieved! We collected the sample this morning and did it after we left my uncles house! Pulled over at the side of the road! It looked like the unit test was negative at first then I started to see what looked like a positive! The DH said his heart sunk as he couldn't see it then it was getting brighter and he saw it too! We did a first response one too and said pregnant 2-3weeks which would be right I guess as it was a day 6 Embie! Now to enjoy our holiday with that in mind!!!!


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## mrschef04

Katfish - oh my god!  in absolute tears for you!  I am so happy for you honey!  Wow!  Now you are definitely on the 12-week wait!  I'm so so pleased for you!  What a tough road, but you got on with it!!        Congratulations!!!


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## Catf2008

Congratulations Katfish I'm so happy for you such great news x


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## MrsRL

Congratulations Katfish on your great news      SO happy for you    Will you get an early scan at your clinic? Wishing you all the best for the next few months xx


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## Katfish

Thank you MrsChef, Catf and MrsRL I am so relieved! My scan is booked in for the 16th July so not too long! At which point I will hopefully be 6+5!! I've got to up the Cyclogest to 3 times a day and the stay the same with the Prognova because I'm already on the maximum dose!


----------



## Little Small

Hello my girls   woot wooooot     

I'm so sorry for being quiet.....rest assured I have been here with all of you every single step....I've been struggling with 'what ifs' and found it best to be quiet. I'm at 31 weeks......and still can't believe it. I really can't. Neither of us can  

There is so much to catch up on I don't know where to begin. Just know that I'm sending my love to you all....and now there are babies. Just. WOW.  

Kittykat....I had to write.....this must must must be your time. I know it. Much love to you xxxx  

Love to you all xxxx 

For Melly xxxxxxx   with love to you


----------



## Katfish

LittleSmall - how lovely it is to hear from you! Wow 31wks!!!! Do you know what you are having or is it going to be a suprise? Thank you very much! I really hope so too! Lots of love to you!

AFM - this whole "morning" sickness (whatever person thought it was a good idea to call it morning sickness when it's all day sickness is very annoying) is getting on my nerves! Need to keep eating to stop the feeling! Today seems to be worse than previous day's which I guess is a good sign as hopefully Bobsicle is growing nicely in there! So as much as it's annoying me it's also making me feel better about the positives too! 

Hope everyone else is well!


----------



## mrschef04

Katfish - that's wonderful!  I know all day morning sickness is terrible, but it gets better.  Mine started getting better at 9 weeks and completely went away by 11 weeks, but it always varies for everyone.  Do like you're doing and you just have to graze on food every hour on the hour.  The only other things that helped were foods that reminded me of my childhood (cereal with milk, wine gums, chips).  It was ridiculous!

Little Small - 31 weeks!  Wow, that's amazing!  Good luck honey!  Time to enjoy it, to be honest!  Are you counting kicks then?

AFM - DH felt our baby move for the first time last night and it completely shocked him.  It finally felt real to him, I think, and then he kept mentioning how amazing it was to feel his baby move.  We are both really in nesting mode.  I can't believe how much more tidy we are with our home!  lol!  Love to all of you!!!


----------



## Stini

Katfish: Woohoo! Oh you little dancer! Congratulations!
LittleSmall: the same goes for you! 31weeks is serious business. Was it another round of IVF?
MrsChef: oh, such a good moment. 💙
Xxx


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef thank you! Crisps are being my saviour at the moment! Thing is you go crazy when you don't feel sick because worrying that somethings wrong and then feel awful when you feel sick! It's a no win situation! Oh wow that's amazing I bet he really loved that! I think it's one of the only ways men can feel there part of it when they feel the baby move! Our house is in serious need of nesting! Enjoy it while it lasts!

Stini thank you! Nows for the scary bit again! I hope all is well with you! 

When did all you lucky girls with little ones or little ones on the way move from the trying to conceive folic acids to the pregnancy ones?


----------



## mrschef04

Hey Katfish - I got on an all-rounder vitamin straight away when I became pregnant.  Just keep taking them and then it's a case of more calcium, vitamin D and iron that you need.  I haven't drunk large glasses of milk since I was a child and now I'm drinking almost a gallon a day.  Also, my gums always bleed, no matter how much I'm doing to them, so it's just something that happens.  Also, don't worry about the morning sickness.  What happened to me is it would come and go the first week or two and then it was quite steady.  By 9 weeks, I had less each day, until it was only in the evenings and then it completely vanished by 11 weeks (coming back on the odd day when I was tired until 14 weeks).  Just get a lot of rest.  The more tired I was, the more my morning sickness was rough.

Stini - how are you doing hon?  Are things starting to settle in more?  Do you have any advice for me on stuff I need for baby?  I'm just one of those people that don't want to buy everything.

AFM - Getting bigger and still dancing and going to the gym.  Have a midwife appointment today to check some things out.  Just three months and a couple of weeks left and then I'm just about there.  Had a few long talks with my DH this week about parenting our son versus parenting his other son and we agreed on everything.  Now that it's becoming more real for him, DH feels the same way as I do about things.


----------



## Stini

Katfish: oh, you will be obsessively checking symptoms! Obsessively! Probably till 20 weeks, I'm afraid.
MrsChef: I have a spreadsheet from a pal of all the stuff She needed. I'll update it a bit and email it to you? I also made a list of maternity ward advice for the girls in my other infertility chat group - could send that over too?


----------



## mrschef04

Stini - yes definitely! All of that is so needed!! 

Btw, I folded and scheduled a baby shower in September. Afternoon tea with cakes and sandwiches. The most girly thing I'd ever done in my whole life!


----------



## MrsLondon

Whooohoooo so so happy for you Katfish           Huge congratulations 
Xxx


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## Katfish

MrsChef I think I am going to finish the trying for a baby ones as I think I have nearly run out now saves wasting them! Then will move to the pregnancy ones! I think the only difference between the two is the ginger! I love milk! My mum really struggled to get me off it! The I was still drinking two mugs of it a day until about 5 and a half years ago! So milk is never a problem for me! I heard about the teeth thing! I believe you get the dentist free when pregnant too! So going to leave my follow up for a bit longer!  where you vomiting with your morning sickness or was it nausea! Hope all went well with the midwife! Glad that DH is on side!

Stini I know it's annoying right!

MrsLondon thank you!  now to wait and see what's to come! How's things with you?!


----------



## Catf2008

Mrs chef - that sounds like a great baby shower  

Katfish - how are you doing

Hope everyone else is well

Afm - well I have a happy 9 week old,  we have lots of smiles & she is starting to try & grab things, I've started to go betterware to try and get a little bit of extra income which is great as I get  to go out & do plenty of walking & Scarlett gets out as well.


----------



## Katfish

Catf I'm doing ok thanks! Had to take the car in to get the breaks looked at while we are away in Cornwall as they where making a loud noise and felt so sick it seems to have settled down a little seems to have a really bad stint in the morning and shorter bursts throughout the day! I love the pic of her so pretty!  glad that your getting out and about though! 

MrsRL how are you doing? 

Thinking of you too Melly!

Hi to everyone else!


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## mrschef04

Btw, it was exactly a year ago today that I was starting my one and only failed IVF cycle and started talking to you guys. How weird is that?


----------



## Katfish

I started spotting this morning brown blood I don't really know what to think right now! I am waiting for a call back from the clinic!


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## mrschef04

Katfish - Hang in there hon!  It's nothing to truly worry about yet.  I bled all the way through my first 13 weeks.  Just some key things I learned from the hospital visits etc.:

At 6 weeks, 1 day, I had brown blood.  Had a scan at EPU and all fine with heartbeat.  They couldn't find the source and said it was just implantation bleeding, so it was old blood.

I also bled because of sex or straining as I was constipated.  This was bright red blood.  It was because my cervix was easily irritated.  I had this at 7 weeks and 9 weeks.

I had breakthrough bleeding twice - it was stringy, brown blood.  I had this at 8 weeks and again at 12 weeks.  It was because my body was adjusting to being pregnant and had to regulate itself and stop the menstruation cycles.  The part at 12 weeks was absolutely frightening.  I had bled through my pyjamas and the bedsheets and a huge clump of bloody stuff came out.  (Sorry TMI, but trying to let you know how bad it was).  Had a scan the next day and baby was fine and waving at us.  No signs of anything bad.

Hang in there honey.  Brown blood is old blood.  Whenever I did have a bleed, I rested for the next day or two.  One week when I was bleeding, I rested the whole week, so don't worry.  Also, book a private scan around 8 weeks.  It really does give you peace of mind.  I think I would have freaked out less if I had more scans!  Big hugs to you honey!


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef thank you! I seems to have only had the spotting still from this morning/night! There fortunately hasn't been any more since then! The clinic said there was nothing they could suggest and think that it may just be due to having more discharge from the pessaries and causing some old blood to drop down! We haven't done the naughty since before ET either as too paranoid! The clinic didn't suggest to but I'm going to do a test in the morning to put my mind at rest! We haven't done anything all day! Just binged out on food at the tent! Hence why I'm currently sat next to the BBQ which we are very slowly cooking pizza on! Hopefully tomorrow's test will still be a BFP for us and it can give us more faith that everything is ok! 
X X x


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## mrschef04

Katfish - Ah yes, don't worry.  Every time, I would have one big bleed and then I would spot and it would take almost a week for all of it to come out.  (I'm sorry TMI, but want to put your mind at rest).  Yes, I wouldn't worry and the pessaries do aggravate your cervix, so it does cause brown spotting.  I had that too when I had IVF.  It was really difficult regulating my body the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, but now all good.  

Stini - thanks again for your list.  It was the most helpful thing ever!!!  You go to other checklists online and it's like they want you to buy the whole store!!!

AFM - My first nursery delivery is tomorrow.  We get our crib, mattress and all of the clothes for baby.  I also got a used electric breast pump on ebay.  I know that seems ridiculous, but apparently, only used twice and it was a bargain for £25 for the Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature one.  I am pleased to say that my full budget for everything came out to £800, which I don't think is all that bad.  That includes nappies and pharmacy supplies for the first month.  I know everyone says that you'll be tired when you have the baby, but as long as I can have coffee and wine again, I will be happy.  Yes, I know you can't drink with breastfeeding etc., but just excited to have my body back again, except the child attached to my chest all the time!  Lol!


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef thank you! I always hated that with my periods! You thought you where safe then a tiny bit more came down! I previously had an ectropion which is when the inside of your cervix starts to grow on the outside which they cauterised one and didn't work so they did it with electric current during my gynae op a few years back! So I know mine is pretty delicate anyway! Haha bless you! The rule of thumb is an hour per unit!  seems like you have managed a good bargain! 

AFM - after all the panic yesterday I felt so sick last night! Good old morning sickness helping at putting my mind at rest! There was no more bleeding the rest of the day apart from little old specks which I expected! I did a test this morning a first response and it said Pregnant 3wks+ so that puts a bit positive on things! Just praying that this doesn't happen again! Just 8days till scan date now too!


----------



## Catf2008

Katfish- how are you doing today, don't forget all the bleeding I had in the early stages & my little bundle is currently asleep in my arms 

Mrschef- how exciting getting the furniture delivered, I had that electric breast pump (again was second hand from a friend) for us it was great a ms Scarlett wouldn't latch on but meant she got breast milk for the first 2 weeks 

Hope everyone else is ok

Afm - well Scarlett is now 10 weeks old & changing so much we have lots of cooing noises from her now & I get big smiles every day, I feel more tired now than I did when I had Scarlett but I'm not allowing that to stop us doing anything, just means i crash out when she does of a night


----------



## Katfish

Catf I'm ok thank you been feeling pretty ruff with morning sickness the last few days and tried! I'm hoping I will be in your situation and it was all nothing! Glad that things are going well with Scarlett though! 

AFM - still feeling pretty ruff but also finding it as a big relief! Feeling pretty tired too! Don't know if that's more tiredness after our camping holiday though! So pleased to be home now! I've also got a job interview tomorrow! It's a much better job for a family! It's working 4 days a week Monday to Friday! No nights, weekends or bank holidays and normal working hours too! Makes childcare much easier than shift work too! So wish me luck! (Best bit is the job is actually in my village, the one that has been on the news recently) 
I'm dreading going back to work tomorrow starting with three nights but apparently it's quite so hopefully will be ok!


----------



## MrsRL

Hi Ladies!

Katfish - sorry to hear that you have experienced bleeding, it must have been worrying but it is very common in early pregnancy, particularly in IVF pregnancies I believe. It must be a relief to have tiredness and sickness symptoms to reassure you. Is it your scan this week? I hope it all goes well for you. Keep us updated. How did your interview go? Fingers crossed you got on well, as it sounds like an ideal job for you 

Catf - it sounds like Scarlett is doing really well  I hope the tiredness isn't too much for you.

Littlesmall - lovely to hear from you. Not long at all for you now, how exciting 

MrsChef - it sounds like things are coming together for you and you're getting ready for baby's arrival. 

Hello to everyone else xx


----------



## Katfish

MrsRL - thank you! We both where very scared luckily no more since then *touch wood* I'm so nervous! The scan is Saturday so nearly there! I should currently be 6+2 it is a relief to have the feeling as I think I would be a lot more panicked if I wasn't having any signs! The interview I felt went well but unfortunately I didn't get the post! They have given me info on how I could be more successful in the future but unfortunately there idea is not something I'm prepared to do! Always cuts down to the wrong experience! I had a good old cry the tears where coming down during the phone call but think I managed to hide them! Must be the hormones and the fact I was half asleep when they called due to being on nights! How's MrRL doing must be his app soon? How are things with you? 

AFM - so the morning sickness has taken another turn for the worst probs heightened by the fact that I am on nights so feeling more tired but I had been only struggling with sweet foods! Now I'm struggling with foods that are not bland! Normally the DH moans when I don't eat what's been served but he's being supportive there! So many things are turning my stomach I am luckily still not vomiting but in ways I wish I was because once sick you would hope the feeling or need would reduce! I really hope that Bobsicle is busy growing in there and there's a very good reason for these feelings! Lots of tears also happening recently! Bloody hormones!

Quick question to you lucky girls! Did anyone experience cramping during the early weeks? I have been having quite a lot of stomach cramps like period cramps! I googled and says that it could be pains with the uterus adjusting but it's really worrying me!


----------



## Catf2008

Katfish - cramping can be very normal, I had it when I was pregnant xx


----------



## Katfish

Thanks Catf I'm just paranoid about everything which is obvs normal!x


----------



## mrschef04

Hi MrsRL!  I hope you are well!

Catf - glad you keep going after everything.  How is it?  Is it as exhausting as everyone says it is?

Katfish - yes, I had loads of cramping for the first 12 weeks, as my uterus kept expanding, so don't worry!

AFM - 26 weeks tomorrow.  I have started to feel fatigued the last two weeks.  Like I've lost energy, so I've started taking Feroglobin Liquid three times a day (iron, folic acid, vit B12) in addition to my prenatal vitamin.  Apparently a lot of women go through this and start to feel better within three days, so I'm hoping that's the same for me.  Commuting in London is like pure hell.  I swear I'd rather do two hours at the gym than commute.  Plus, having to walk up 6 different flights of stairs first thing in the morning through the stations are really tiring.  Oof!  How is everyone else?


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef thank you hopefully another good sign then! Wow 26wks! I hope that it does only last a few days for you! X x


----------



## Katfish

It's the big day tomorrow so nervous! Said to the DH last night as we where going to sleep! What would you do if they tell us it's twins?! He said Panic! Haha I would too!
When I went to the toilet a few hours ago there was a little big of the Cyclogest that had a browny  tinge when wiping there was a tiny bit of old blood! So happy that the scans tomorrow and can put my mind at rest! Been feeling sick all day so that helps a bit too! 
Hope everyone is well! X x


----------



## MrsRL

Hi Ladies,

Katfish - I'm sure it was very worrying for you and DH. Brown blood is usually nothing to worry about, and it could be the pessary irritating you as well. Good luck with your scan tomorrow, let us know how to get on! Keeping everything crossed for you that it is good news.  Your symptoms sound very promising anyway  Sorry to hear you didn't get the job, it's annoying when they say you need more experience, how are you meant to get it if they don't give you a chance  Mr RL is doing fine thank you. He has his follow up at the end of this month. 

MrsChef - wow 26 weeks! I hope your loss of energy only lasts a few days! Commuting doesn't sound very fun at all for you, I hope the next few weeks go quickly so you can start maternity leave 

Hello to everyone else. I hope you are all well.

AFM - not too much to report really. DH is basically fully recovered now and has his follow up with Mr R at the end of this month. We have been away for a few days, which has been nice  Having a break away from work has been much needed, as it is manic and stressful there at the moment. xx


----------



## Katfish

MrsRL I'm ok otherwise tired after night shifts and I'm sure that I will not get much sleep tonight! Luckily the scan is at 9.10 so don't have to wait all day to have it! Yes that's a good point I don't like doing them via the front bottom but doing it in the behind was causing havoc to my system! Exactly the point I say each time they give me that reason! Ooo exciting will you find out then when he thinks you should start cycling again? Do you know what protocol the clinic is going to put you on?


----------



## mrschef04

MrsRL - glad your DH is resting up.  When will you start the next cycle again?

Katfish - good luck with the scan tomorrow.  I'm so pleased for you.  It really sounds like all of the symptoms are fine and nothing to worry about.  Let me know how you get on.

AFM - I've been taking liquid iron for the last three days and it has seemed to help a lot.  I got my energy back quite a bit and I'm feeling almost normal.  Yup, just heading into my final trimester on Wednesday next week.  Can't believe I'll only have three months left to go before birth!  Hope everything continues to go well, but baby is very active, so I'm not having any issues knowing he's all good.  

Hi to everyone else!!!  Hope all is well!


----------



## Catf2008

Mrschef - for me it's not as bad as everyone said but I'm lucky as Scarlett is a really good baby but I'm finding now as she is awake more I don't have so much time to do things as she wants my attention more so I'm finding I don't get to do housework till really late when hubby is home 

Katfish - good luck with the scan today, I'll pop on later to see your news 

Mrsrl - will you be looking to cycle again soon, so glad hubby is recovered 

Afm - Scarlett is getting so big now, we have a scan booked for 8th September to check her hips are all ok, she is such a good baby, been getting a solid 6-7 hours at night now & she hardly ever crys which is good, I'm so lucky. Her development is amazing lots of smiles everyday & starting to laugh now as well


----------



## Katfish

We are officially 7wks pregnant! 
We are so relieved and beaming!!! The lovely lady also works at the hospital I work in and has said if I have any wobbles to go and see her! They are very good when they know where abouts we work! 
X X X X


----------



## mrschef04

Katfish - that's wonderful news!!! I'm so happy for you!!! I'm so happy for your little miracle! Get ready to be tired for a while, but what got me through it were plenty of smoothies, wine gums and sleep!!!!


----------



## Catf2008

Katfish - that's great news so happy you, I'm with MrsChef but also have salt & vinegar crisps to help me xx


----------



## MrsRL

Katfish - congratulations to you  I'm so thrilled for you      You must be very happy and relieved  How lovely that you know the lady and you can see her with any worries! That must put your mind at ease! We should hopefully find out when we'll cycle again at the next appointment, but it's normally 3-4 months after the op as that's how long it takes for the sperm to be produced. We're thinking to cycling in October/November! I'm also looking at egg sharing though so it depends if that holds anything up if I am able to do it. We have a counselling appointment for that in August. I believe I will be on the long protocol this time. Last time I was on short protocol so will be interesting what difference it makes!

MrsChef - we hope to cycle in October/November  Glad to hear you're almost feeling back to normal now! I'm sure baby being active is reassuring to you  

Catf - it sounds like Scarlett is doing brilliantly and that she is such a good baby  we hope to cycle in October/November all being well!

Hello to everyone else xx


----------



## Katfish

Thank you MrsChef as Catf says salt and vinegar crisps or in fact Cheetos are my savour at the moment! Anything or too much sweet makes me feel like rubbish!

Catf thank you I'm like you on the crisps mark but also a good bag of Cheetos! Or toast or hummus and pita bread! Basically bland savoury!

MrsRL thanks you! well I only know her from having scans on the unit but it's more that when they find out what my profession is then they often do things to help! A lot of people on the unit end up getting lots of extra scan pics and things! But I'm glad that she said that! Fingers crossed! Bare in mind that there is some date I think in November that they will not let you book in because it clashes with Christmas! Hopefully you manage to sort out egg sharing!  OFU prefer the LP I believe and worth a go if the short one you didn't have success at last time!


----------



## Katfish

Does anyone have suggestions for thing to drink?
I'm really struggling to get fluid into me! I can't have anything that tastes sweet without feeling sick! I previously lived off of sweet squash, ice cold water and fizzy drinks I don't drink hot drinks other than hot chocolate but that would make me feel sick! I am trying to drink water I used to be fine drinking cold water but really struggling to get it down and forcing myself just makes me feel more sick! 

I had to go home from work at 1am this morning because the slightest movement I thought I was going to be sick! It's still just nausea! However ontop of that I passed some fresh blood which put me into panic stations aswell! That's stopped thankfully I'm obviously just going to be someone who passes blood every so often! Doesn't help with my nerves though! I have a GP appointment tomorrow so will be discussing anti-sickness meds then to try to help! 

Hope everyone is well! Xx


----------



## mrschef04

Hey Katfish - skimmed milk, smoothies, fruit, grapefruit juice (sour, but sweet), water with lime (no sugar), decaffeinated teas, decaf coffee?  I'm just trying to throw this all out there.  Ugh, just keep trying!  Wow, that morning sickness is hitting you bad!  Guess, it's probably a girl!  Big hugs honey xx

AFM - getting my whooping cough vaccine today.  Currently at 27 weeks and baby kicking a lot and ankles/feet are completely swollen and aching.  Not too much else going on.  Hope all is well xx


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef - I can manage milk when I last tried but the one in the fridge isn't very fresh now we need to get some more! I think smoothies will be too sweet tasting! I am struggling with fruit due to the sweetness! I could eat so many bananas in a day now I can't touch them! I manage a bottle of orange juice today, I don't like the idea of tea or coffee. I also had some water with lemon in at the pub today and really can't stand drinks with a slight taste to it! I'm glad your able to feel lots of movements I'm really excited for this stage!

AFM - the GP gave me some tablets I've only taken one so far as managed to sickness myself! It's hard to get the gage sometimes as to dizziness and sickness! I'm just about drinking 1.5l a day which I know it's enough but any more and I feel sick! Food I just have to eat what I feel like! I was feeling really good today then someone in a shop talking to us kept sniffing and I felt so sick all of a sudden! GP says they will sign me off if I continue to struggle with work! I am back in tomorrow so I will see how it goes! We have our first midwife appointment Tuesday then DH goes away for just over a week on Friday! I'm very nervous about this! 

Hope everyone else is well!


----------



## Ldw1804

Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind me dropping in after all this time to say hi to you all. I have been reading through and it is lovely to see how everyone has been getting on. 

I'm so pleased to hear about the beautiful babies born from the July/August cycle, the positive pregnancy results that have followed for others (ivf and natural surprises) and positive steps forward for others re treatment progress. What a journey this has been and continues to be.

I found so much support on this board for my first cycle with such a lovely group of ladies, but when it failed I found it difficult to come back. I did a 2nd cycle in October/November which led to a bfp that I was thrilled about but struggled to believe it was real. Still does not feel real, but today I am one week away from my due date 😊 Eagerly awaiting the arrival of our little boy.

Katfish, I hope the sickness is a bit better for you. I was one of the unlucky ones who suffered with sickness until about 22 weeks. I really feel for you. I was signed off for 3 weeks and I have to say taking the time really helped to get it to a manageable level. I found the acupressure wrist bands very useful.

Mrs chef, I hope the vaccination went ok. My arm ached for about a week afterwards.

Mrs RL, it sounds as if there have been a lot of positive steps forward. A cycle in October/November sounds good to aim for and I'm sure will come around quickly.

Catf2008, Scarlett sounds like a lovely baby and is doing so well re sleep patterns.

Hello to everyone else xxx


----------



## MrsLondon

Hello ladies,

Ldw1804 - congratulations!! I'm so happy for you. I can understanding how hard it must have been to come back on the board following your negative cycle last year. Good luck in the coming weeks xx

Katfish - hope you're feeling better?? My sister was the same when she was pregnant, horrendously sick, couldn't keep anything down for the whole 9months. Hopefully your sickness will pass.

MrsChef- glad to hear all is progressing smoothly for you too. I had swollen ankles too, make sure you keep an eye on your blood pressure as mine started to creep up following my swollen hands and feet.

Catf - Scarlett is a little peach!! Glad all is well with you both. Hope the hip scan goes well.

MrsRL - it's good to hear the DH is fully recovered, October will be here before you know it 

AFM - Annika is 12 weeks now, still refluxy but happier in herself. I had to resort to giving her a dummy which has helped massively. She is now less clingy and even goes to sleep herself. I used to be against dummies but now completely understand the benefits of having them. 

Hi to everyone else, lots of love xx


----------



## mrschef04

MrsLondon - Glad Annika is much happier.  It's funny about the dummies, etc., but I guess it is just their way of self-soothing.  Will keep an eye out for blood pressure.  I have swollen hands and feet too, but they have gone down now that the heat wave from last week is done.  

Ldw1804 - Welcome back!  I know exactly how you feel.  I had completely given up on having a baby, so stayed away from this board for a while, but now got a natural BFP.  I'm in my final trimester.  Just 12 weeks now for me!  I can't believe you only have one week left!  Were you like me through your pregnancy - I just felt I couldn't enjoy it at all, as I didn't think it was real.

AFM - felt quite sick from the heat and also rundown from the vaccination, but feeling a little better today.  I have noticed that if I come off my liquid iron three times a day, I get really exhausted again, so I'm keeping that going.  I have another midwife appointment on Thursday and I think they will be doing bloods, etc., as it's my 28-week appointment, so I'll ask about blood pressure and my swelling.  My ankles and hands really hurt.  I'm getting to the point where I definitely can't reach my feet very well.  It takes a lot of effort over my bump.  How is everyone else?


----------



## Katfish

LDW it's lovely to hear from you!  oh no bless you 22wks! I really hope mine stops by then! My waste band is really not liking me due to having to continually eat however not throwing any of it back up!!! I may try those out only thing is can't at work! Your nearly there hope little man shows his face soon! 

MrsLondon I'm hoping that mine stays as nausea as I definitely couldn't deal with it if I was vomiting all the time too! The nausea is bad enough! Pitty about the dummy but glad that it's helping her! Which is the main thing!

MrsChef wow 12wks left!!!! Aww bless you! I hope all goes well with your check up!


----------



## mrschef04

Hey Katfish - The one and only great thing about nausea is it's a good sign that things are going along smoothly.  Other than that, it was a nightmare.  The only things that helped me were chips, crisps, wine gums and grapes.  Easy and non-complicated food.  I'm normally a big foodie and wine drinker and I can't touch any food that's complicated still.  I found my nausea finally evening out around the 9 week mark, where I just got it less and less.  By 11 weeks, I was only getting it in the evening (which is weird) and then it completely disappeared by 12/13 weeks.  How far along are you now?


----------



## Ldw1804

Morning ladies

Mrslondon, glad to hear that annika is doing well. I think we have to go with whatever works in the end and if the dummy gives those benefits I would use it too 😊

Mrschef, I was. I kept thinking that at every milestone this is the one I will start to chill out at, but it never really happened. I know itt will all be worth it though. 12 weeks to go, that is brilliant! I hope the midwife appt goes well on Thursday.

Hiya katfish, I know what yo mean re the waistband. It passes when you no longer have a waist. I now have a shelf 😂 Foods that helped me were ready salted crisps, honeydew melon and strawberry and banana smoothie.

I'm booked in on Monday ( my due date) to be induced so have a bit of certainty re arrival. In the meantime I'm having membrane sweeps to see if things can be helped along naturally. One last Thursday, then yesterday and next one this Thursday. Fun times! 

Xxx


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef - exactly that's what I think about it! I'm hoping mine will start to go! I'm 8+4 now! So hopefully it will start to dwindle away! 

LDW - crisps are my saviour but awful for the waistband! Any movement yet?! 

AFM - I had my midwife appointment yesterday! It all went well! She wasn't concerned that I am only managing about 1.5l fluid a day! Only thing is my blood pressure has dropped even further since the GP took it on Friday hence why I have been feeling so lightheaded and dizzy! I am struggling to stand up in one place for more than a few minutes without going lightheaded! The midwife also said about not worrying if I need to be signed off but it's so hard to make the decision!


----------



## Ldw1804

Nothing yet katfish. I've had 3 sweeps in 8 days and feel quite uncomfortable, but no sign that he is interested in coming out 😂 Glad the mw appt went well. I felt really guilty being signed off, especially as a colleague was flying through her pregnancy with no issues, but everyone is different and the time off got me through the worst of it. X


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## Katfish

LDW oh no I'm sure that it can't be comfortable for them to do that! Have you been going through the old wives tales yet?! I am just going to take each day as it comes now! Luckily although from tomorrow I have some crazy shifts the end of it I am working with someone who I'm very close too and was my bridesmaid and knows! So that will make things easier! I am working tomorrow and Saturday days then Monday day and Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night! Then driving from Oxford to London on Friday morning! The DH goes away tomorrow until the 7th so feeling pretty nervous about that too! X x


----------



## Ldw1804

Hope your feeling a bit better katfish and the shifts are not too bad.

I've been working through the old wives tales and anything else I could think of but nothing is making him come. 😂 I'm booked into hospital tomorrow at 9 to be induced, so hopefully will have my little boy in my arms very soon. I'm feeling ok about the induction (although I'm sure I'll be nervous going in) but just need to know he is ok now.

I hope everyone else is having a lovely weekend. Xxx


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## Katfish

LDW In some ways I'm feeling better but others I'm not! I am still going very light headed I thought yesterday at work this isn't going to work but made it through! I'm off today so having a bit of a rest! I will be thinking of you tomorrow! My midwife says that they would start to induce me I guess just via sweeps at 40wks then if no show then I would have an urgent consultant referral at 41wks! Still unsure though if they would want me to have a natural birth due to my many joint problems but we will see! I'm prepared that c-section may be the case! I will be thinking of you tomorrow! Best of luck!

MrsRL now did the appointment go? Thinking of you!

AFM - I am planning on going to get scanned tomorrow for reassurance and peace of mind! I think it will help too when telling my parents this coming weekend and the DH's next week if I know that all is good in there! The bottom on my tummy is feeling firm to touch now which I guess is a good sign too! 

Wishes to everyone!


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## MrsRL

Hi ladies, sorry I have been AWOL again  I have been reading and keep wanting to post, but there don't seem enough hours in the day!!

Katfish - thank you for asking after me  I will update on the appointment below. Thanks also for the information on OFU and stopping for Christmas, much appreciated. I'm glad to hear your midwife appointment went well  sorry to hear about the blood pressure causing you to be light headed and dizzy, take it easy and take any time off work that you need. I know it's hard not to feel guilty when having time off work, but you need to put yourself first. Good luck with your scan today. I said to DH I would have several scans if were ever lucky to get a bfp, I think if it helps to ease anxiety it is a good thing. How exciting that you will be telling both sets of parents soon as well  keep us updated x

LDW - it's lovely to hear from you  I'm so excited for you that you get to meet your little boy soon. Good luck with being induced today and I really look forward to your BA  I will be thinking of you x

Mrs London - it sounds like Annika is doing really well  I'm glad the dummy is helping her to be less clingy and it sounds like it is a good solution  

MrsChef - wow to having only 12 weeks left  I hope your appointment went ok and that you're feeling ok at the moment. When will you finish work? 

Hello to everyone else. I hope anyone else reading is well xx


Afm - we had an appointment with Mr R on Saturday and it was good news as DH's sample has significantly improved in only 2 months after his op so it's looking promising. He said the optimum time is 6 months after the op so we're hoping to cycle in November or if too late due to christmas, we will cycle early next year (obviously it all depends on the clinic/af etc). I'm hoping to egg share so we're having appointments for that so that will take a while anyway. If we can't egg share it will allow us to save up a bit. We're feeling a bit more positive about it all. We have been busy at home and work so haven't had chance to catch up properly on here, but I'm always thinking of you   We're currently in the process of decorating our bedroom, so have moved into the spare room while it's being done! Any spare moment we have is taken up by that at the moment. I was thinking that I can't believe how quickly the year has passed and that we have all be chatting for over a year now. This time last year was my 2ww for the cycle, which seems mad. I recently told my manager about needing to go through IVF and it was a weight off my shoulders, as she was supportive and said just to let her know when I have appointments etc and it won't be a problem. I worry a lot anyway about having time off work etc and she's told me not to worry and to see her with any issues, so I feel better about it all. Take care everyone and I will try to catch up more regularly xx


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## Katfish

MrsRL I'm so glad that there is some improvement there and that you can hopefully by Christmas there will be even more improvement there! Do you see him again before cycling? I hope that you don't miss out with the chistmas dates but like you say more time = more money in the bank if egg sharing isn't possible! That's alright any questions you have just ask I'm happy to answer them! It's really does they are not too cheap to do privately but they are definitely worth it!

AFM - the scan was amazing I'm gutted that the DH wasn't there but I could see the arm and leg buds he was having a good wiggle around in there! The heart beat was nice and strong at 172bpm! Can't stop thinking of the scan and looking at the scans! I just want to shout it out to the world! Looking forward even more to tell my parents on Friday! X x


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## MrsRL

Katfish - that is brilliant news about your scan  so happy for you   How many weeks are you now? When is your next scan? Enjoy telling your parents, I'm sure they will be very happy and thrilled for you  

I don't think we will need to see Mr R again before cycling, he has asked DH to get some blood tests done to make sure he is on the correct dose of his tablets, but he will correspond via email to let us know. I'm sure the scans are not cheap, but if it gives peace of mind and reassurance it is worth it. How are you coping with work now? xx


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## mrschef04

Katfish - I know I'm pregnant and emotional, but I shed a few tears reading your post.  I'm so so happy with your scan.  I can't believe it!  It sounds like you have a girl in there because of the heart rate!  (Apparently it's higher for girls and lower for boys).  Seriously.  This is wonderful.  I hope all of us on this board finally make it through to the other side.

Ldw - I'm sorry I missed your post - I hope everything went well with the induction.  Waiting to hear your news and just so happy for you.

MrsRL - Finishing work two days before my due date.  Lol!  I know that seems extreme, but I'm one of those hard workers and prefer to keep busy!  I have to say, it's wonderful when work is like that.  It really makes you love where you are.  I'm in a job where I know it's a bit beneath me, but the wage and the benefits are so good and they are so kind about my maternity leave.  On top of that, I have the best bosses ever.  They were all so understanding and good.  I'm glad that you are just about to move forward.  It would be so lovely to see a Christmas/New Year baby on the way from you.  xx

AFM - Baby is moving a lot more.  I'm 29 weeks now and on the final countdown.  I'm now finding everything a bit fatiguing.  Even looking at myself trying to do dance is downright embarrassing - my beach ball tummy makes me feel like I'm just rolling everywhere instead of actually looking funky.  Lol!  I can't believe I start my NCT class in just four weeks time!!!  It's kind of crazy!


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## Katfish

MrsRL I'm currently 9+4 I've got my 12wk scan booked for the 19th August when I will be 11+6 as its my grandparents joint 80th birthday party and I am going to tell them there!  That's good then the next time you will know is when your at the clinic then I guess on EC day! I really am wishing you all the best for this cycle! I hope that it is your time! Works going ok! It's really busy again at the moment! I was feeling really sick and light headed last night at work and stayed dosed up on my antisickness meds! I am hoping my last two nights are not as bad! I found that there was a scan in a company which is the the Mothercare near OFU which is £60 it's a reassurance scan! The cost differs as to how many weeks you are and what you want from the scan! 

MrsChef aww bless you! I am secretly hoping for a little girl but we are going to leave it as a surprise for when they are born! I love the idea of having what my mum did which was they had to investigate themselves what my sister was as she was plonked onto my mum without being told! Either that or the DH telling me I think it's a lovely thing for him to be able to do! Funny though we do keep saying him! But that's due to Bobsicle sounding male! I really hope so too! I can't wait to feel our little one moving! I can't believe that you are 29wks time has really flown! 

AFM - I'm doing ok felt awful last night at work but just trying to plough through it! Only two more to go! I'm feeling really positive and can't stop smiling at the scan photo! I'm so glad that I went to have it! My tummy is definitely feeling rather firm and my clothes tight! I was looking at myself in my jeggings before leaving for work last night thinking oh dear I hope nobody guesses! There's no rumours going around at work which I'm rather impressed with! I think I am managing to hide it well enough! With my job it's very hard to! Counting down the days till the DH comes back! It's very hard without him being here!


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## MrsRL

Morning ladies  

Ldw - I hope everything is going well. Thinking of you and looking forward to your announcement  x

MrsChef - wow, you really are working right up until the end  It sounds like you work at a lovely place, having a lovely understanding boss is always a good thing! Thank you for your lovely words  I can't believe you are 29 weeks, time really does fly by!! It sounds wonderful feeling baby a lot more  

Katfish - your 12 week scan will soon be here  that will be lovely telling your grandparents as well, what a lovely surprise present for their 80th  DH will need to do another sample before EC as Oxford have requested a sample, so hopefully that will be good news too. Sorry to hear you weren't feeling good at work again, make sure you have a break if you feel like that and look after yourself x. The scan place you have found is actually quite good value, especially when you think of the costs we pay out in this journey! It's lovely to hear you sounding so positive  Good news there are no rumours at your work as yet, if it's anything like mine rumours normally fly around!! I'm sure you must be really missing DH, I hope you don't have to wait much longer until he comes home  x

Hello to everyone else! Thinking of you  x


Afm - DH has got to have a blood test to see if he is on the right dose of tamoxifen or if it needs to change and Mr R suggested asking the GP or we could have it done privately. DH found out the cost for going private and nearly fell over, as it seemed a lot just for a blood test, so he phoned the GP yesterday and actually got an appointment for today    This is something of a miracle for our GP surgery!! I'm not convinced they will actually do it though as my GP is very awkward, so we'll see! We're still busy at home decorating, well prepping for it. Painting will start properly when I'm off work next week   Take care ladies xx


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## Katfish

MrsRL it's the same for where I work too! The issue when you work in a very female populated work place! He is back on Sunday! So not much longer now! He thinks he is still going to be going this time next year! I really hope that he has a change of mind when little one arrives! I hope that the GP was happy to do the bloods! It's rediculas when you look at the prices of these things! I think that's a miracle in most GP surgerys now! I hope that the house decorating goes well! We are meant to be having someone come and do our hall way next week! We painted it when we moved in and all the paint is peeling off its driving me nuts looking at it and will be too hard to sort it ourselves! Plus as we will most likely be moving house in the next two years as we are only in a 2 bed house the look of the hallway and landing currently will put off home buyers! 

AFM - last night shift tonight then gotta do the 1h + drive to London! Wish me luck!!! Really looking forward to breaking the news to my parents still! Luckily although it's busy at work it's the right kind of busy! Not too  hectic but makes the night go fast!


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## Ldw1804

Hi ladies just a quick me post.

It's been a bit of a roller coaster since Monday. Baby Daniel born by emergency c section on 1/08 after showing distress by the induction. Had v low red blood cell count at birth (50% of average). Tests show my blood cells attacked his killing them off. He has had a blood transfusion and we are waiting for results, hopefully to show that has brought his count up to a good level. He is been fed by a tube as not feeding well, but seems content and alert since transfusion. Everyone at hospital has been great especially in neo natal ward. I feel like I've been run over by a bus and very emotional. Finding it hard not having him with me. Hopeful once test results in we can move to transitional ward and be together. Xxx


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## MrsRL

Ldw - it definitely does sound like a roller coaster for you, you poor thing   Congratulations on the birth of Daniel  though    I really hope the blood transfusion has worked and his count is now up to a good level. It's positive that he seems content though. I hope the tests come in soon and you can move into the transitional ward together. Thinking of you and wishing you both a speedy recovery so that you can eventually go home   x

Katfish - I bet you will be glad when Sunday gets here, is your DH away on holiday then rather than for work? I hope he changes his mind when your little one is here, he may well do  if it was my DH I would probably get cross if not lol. The nurse did the bloods for DH, as when he phoned they said it was fine but the nurse said the GP should have referred him, but as he was there she did them as she was lovely apparently.  I hope you're decorating goes well too! We're doing our bedroom first, then I want to do spare room and the living room lol, no rest for the wicked!! You sound like us, as we decorated when we moved in and everywhere needs doing again. Ours is also a 2 bed house and we're trying to do ours up so we can hopefully move in next couple years too. Good luck with your drive to London and telling your parents  good news it's busy but not too busy for you at work  x


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## Katfish

I certainly will! Just dreading him being grumpy at tired! No it's not work it's pleasure! He juggles as a hobby and there is a yearly European Juggling Convention! He was there last year during the 2ww! I hope that the tickets are not for sale before little one is born! I said to him that if he thinks he's going then I will be going on holiday without him with little one! I wil not be taking the time off work every year so that he can go! Ah wow you have lots of decorating to do then bless you! I hope that it all goes well! Thanks for the luck! X x

LDW I know I have sent you a message but a huge congratulations again! X X


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## Katfish

Quick question to all you lucky successful IVF girls! Today is my last day on the pessaries and tablets! How did you guys feel when you had to stop taking them! Personally I'm happy to not have to faff with the mess of the Pessaries and needing to be near a toilet at certain times of the day! But I'm dreading something going wrong if I stop taking them!


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## mrschef04

LDW - congratulations on your birth and I hope everything will work out and you'll be with baby Daniel so soon.         

Katfish - good luck in telling your parents.  I'm so happy for you.  I'm not sure about the pessaries.  I know Stini was quite worried, but it ended up evening out for her in the end anyway.  Even with my natural BFP, I had bleeding for 12 weeks and my body just took a while to adjust, but the baby was quite strong and kept going.  You just can't worry too much and keep on going honey.  Glad days are going quickly for you.  Take it easy on yourself.  This was the hardest bit for me, but I've gotten used to it.  Like this week, I pulled a muscle in my bump and took most of the week off the gym, so I could rest up and heal.  Lol!  I do feel a lot better because of it though!

MrsRL - wow, that is a good GP!  It normally takes a couple of weeks nowadays!  Glad things are moving ahead and you are getting answers!!


----------



## MrsRL

Katfish - I remember your DH being away in the 2ww last year, which I know was hard for you. Maybe you can book a lovely family holiday during that time  How did you get on telling your parents? I bet they were thrilled  I bet you're enjoying not doing the pessaries, but can understand your worries with stopping them. I'm sure it will be fine at this stage though x. The decorating is going well thank you, but very tiring! We were doing decorating all weekend and there's stuff everywhere in the house so will be glad when it's over  Should be worth it though! I definitely couldn't cycle and do decorating during that!! 

Mrs Chef - I think it was a cancellation with GP and if he didn't take that it would have been several weeks! We usually really struggle to get an appointment within 2 weeks let alone the next day  How are things going with you?

LDW - thinking of you  x

Hello to everyone else. Hope you all had a lovely weekend! Not much to report here, just decorating really at the moment so all my spare time is taken up by that. I've got an acupuncture appointment tomorrow night, so it will be nice to take some time out  xx


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## Katfish

MrsRL yes it was very hard last year! The issue is he still thinks he wants to go to the convention next year except I haven't brought it up since he's been back and he missed us a lot this time I think he surprised himself! He was however saying that the one in 3yrs is going to be in England again so that kind of makes me think he hasn't thought that yet! My parents where very happy! They had some champagne while I drank some slur! My sister however I think it's jealous as was made to say congrats and I think it's because she's older and thinks she should have done these things first if that makes sense! Due to her anorexia she hasn't had much of a life over the last 4yrs! I'm loving not needing to worry about them! I was surprisingly relaxed at stopping them! I did one Saturday morning then planned to do one that evening and one on Sunday I didn't do either of them! Hopefully all the decorating is worth it! The people who where meant to be doing ours still haven't got back to me with which day so I think I'm going to have to find someone else! I decorated the bathroom while cycling it was a bad choice! I didn't finish it until afterwards! Enjoy your acupuncture!

I've had to take today off work as I am feeling so light headed even when sat down so not safe to go into work! I've spoken with the midwife who has suggested if it gets worse then to see GP and maybe get signed off! I am not due in till the weekend now so we will see! Otherwise she isn't too worried thinks it just pregnancy related!

We are telling the DH's parents a bit later! Gotta tell them in code however as the DH's niece is there and will tell everyone who's not meant to know yet! 

Now gotta attempt to shower before the DH's families here without passing out!


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## Katfish

Been very quite on here recently! I hope everyone is well!

AFM - DH's parents and sister where very excited about the news and sister cried! I was surprised to see the reaction as it was more what I had expected from my family and didn't expect it from them! It was lovely though! I went to see the GP on Thursday my blood pressure has dropped more but I think I'm getting a little more used to it now! She signed me off for this weekend planning to return on Tuesday! I'm hoping that it goes ok as we are meant to be having a heatwave and that will make the dizziness worse! We went to the DH's parents this weekend in aim to get me out of the house! I feel that I can't go out if I'm signed off and be spotted by people at work! It would spread like wildflower! Luckily we are now 11+1 so not long till the cat can come out of the bag! We have the 12wk scan booked for Friday morning! I'm excited but scared at the same time! My tummy has definitely started to form a small bump too! I have brought and hopefully they will come in time for the weekend a card/badge one for each of my grandparents that say 'great grandma to 🐝' with little bees flying around! My initial idea I had I couldn't find what I needed so these will have to do that's if they arrive in time anyway! From my grandparents party in Essex we are going on to Southend-on-sea for 4 nights to celebrate our second wedding anniversary so that will be nice too!


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## mrschef04

Hi Katfish - I can't believe time has flown that much!!  12 week scan on Friday morning!  Wow!  I hope it all goes well and I'm glad your in-laws are so supportive and happy.  That's great!

Anyway, hope all of you ladies are doing well and sending you all lots of hugs!

AFM - Heading to 31 weeks now and slowing down.  Felt so depressed on Saturday.  My feet completely swelled up and were so painful.  Just can't wait until it's over and I give birth.  I just know it's only going to get worse!


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## Katfish

MrsChef it really is flying by I can't believe that you are 31wks too! Aww bless you how much longer do you have left at work? Hope your managing to keep your feet up a bit to help with the swelling! X x


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## mrschef04

Katfish - I'm working up to two days before my due date.  I just want to make sure I have as much time with baby as possible after the birth.  Yes, I have a big swiss ball at my desk and I'm carrying around a camping stool, so I can sit as much as I need it everywhere.  How are you feeling about the 12 week scan?  It's only on Friday!!!!  Are you doing the nuchal tests then?


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## Catf2008

Hello ladies

Hope you are all doing well

Katfish - you must be looking forward to Friday, can't believe you are 12 weeks already 

MrsChef - wow 31 weeks that's flown by, how are you feeling about the birth etc

AFM - sorry I've not been round much but as Scarlett is moving into a more awake stage she takes up a lot of my time, I've also signed up to be a juice plus & itworks wrap distributor, I'm trying to find ways to get in a little cash each month so I don't have to look for a job in a few months & I can raise our beautiful daughter


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## mrschef04

Catf - I'm actually looking forward to the birth and moving on.  I haven't enjoyed pregnancy at all.  Except for the movements, I just feel bummed being pregnant and am so excited to get my old body back and that I get to control it again!  How is everything else with you?  How are you enjoying motherhood?


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## Katfish

MrsChef ah yes I think I remember you saying that before! Makes complete sense! That's one thing I say to mums at work as their mat leave if they have had a prem starts the day after the baby is born! Ah that's a good plan! There's no way I would be able to manage with my job that far! I think I'm planning on Mat Leave starting at 36wks so may finish 34wks with A/L or may reduce hours with the A/L will see a bit closer to the time! I'm feeling good about it just concerned that things have stopped happening in there but got no signs as to that being the case! Just want it to be Friday already! Erm.. I think they do look at something at the scan but do bloods at a later date! I'm not sure! I'll see on Friday! 

Catf lovely to hear from you! I am really looking forward to Friday but nervous too! Just worried if something has happened since the last one! Fingers crossed that the two side jobs do the job and mean you don't have to do anything else! Would be lovely to not have to return to work! I'll be going back doing 23h (two shifts) plus one weekend shift every other week as an overtime! We will see! That's if work are going to be useful! 

Arm - first shift back went ok had to tell someone again as I was given a baby without realising till it was too late that I couldn't take them due to little one! Felt quite sick at times but was dealable! One down two more to go! Tomorrow I'm going to change my name though and not tell someone what it is! Drove me nutty!


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## Catf2008

Katfish - how did the scan go?


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## mrschef04

Ah yes, Katfish! How did it all go? 

AFM - I had to go to hospital today because of blacking out and found out I developed a heart murmur from being pregnant!  So have to take it a little easier now.  Hope all is well!


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## MrsRL

Hi ladies. Sorry I have been awol again, it seems quiet in here so I hope everyone is ok. 

Katfish - how did your scan go? I hope it went well. 

MrsChef - that must have been scary blacking out, make sure you take it easy. Will you have to finish work earlier do you think? 

Catf - I hope it works out for you making extra money so that you don't have to return to work. 

Hello to everyone else. Hope all is well xx


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## Katfish

Catf, MrsChef and MrsRL the scan went really well the lady wasn't as good as the other lady I have had! She didn't let us hear the heart beat again and didn't really talk through the scan and stay in one place for long! We have some lovely pictures though and a scan pic of little ones hand too! We are still so excited about it! We are going to book another private scan at 16 wks for peace of mind! I think I will be happy after that as a few weeks later I will be able to feel little one and that will be the reassurance then 4 wks on will be the routine 20wk scan! 

MrsChef oh no that's not good! Like MrsRL said are they going to sign you off or are you going to take your mat leave earlier?

MrsRL and Catf how's everything going?!

We are on holiday in Southend on sea at the moment as its our Second Wedding Anniversary today! Weather is so nice today I hope everyone else is enjoying it! X x


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## Catf2008

Katfish - you're in my neck of the woods as I live in Southend, hope your having a nice time and so glad the scan went well

MrsChef - sorry to hear you have been blacking out, have they given you anything for her

AFM - Scarlett is doing so well, can't believe how much she is changing, we took her to get some pixifoto's done yesterday so can't wait to get them back


----------



## Katfish

Catf oh how funny I hope your enjoying the sun! We are staying at a hotel on the front! We are off to a place called Mangetout tonight for dinner have you ever been? Glad that Scarlett is doing well though!


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## MrsLondon

Hi lovely ladies,

Hope life is treating you all well? Mrschef how have you been coping in the heat? Really hope the swelling has gone down. You must be approaching your due date now?

Katfish - How was your holiday? Has all sickness gone completely now? I can't figure out how far gone you are. Has it been 12 weeks already? Wow where does the time go?!

Catf- Scarlett is just a peach!! So beautiful. How did the photos come out? 

MrsRL - Hi!!! How are things with you? 

AFM - we're doing ok, Annika is four months today and had her 16 week jabs yesterday which was horrendous. She's been very upset since, poor little mite. 

Lots of love to you all xx


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## Katfish

MrsLondon lovely to hear from you!! I can't believe she's 4months old they never like those Imms and it's something we will remember but they will never remember! Our holiday in Southend was lovely thanks! I really struggled with the heat with my blood pressure but made it through and had a lovely time, lots of lovely food too! The sickness hasn't completely gone I still have times when I just need to eat something as I'm heaving a bit but that has lessened now! The main thing I have is I would say a bit refluxy! Just feel like there's something in the back of my throat and I just don't feel right often eating helps it settle but doesn't fully resolve it! I'm 14wks on Saturday I can't believe it either time does really fly! Only feels like yesterday I was 12wks! We have a scan booked for 16+1 which we are really excited for! I've decided that if the same lady who scanned me at 12 wks is at my 20wk scan I'm going to request not to be scanned by her I feel really gutted for anyone who has their first 12wk scan with her which is a real shame!

Hi to everyone else how are you all?!


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies  

Katfish - so glad to hear your 12 week scan went well, so happy for you! Can't believe you're going to be 14 weeks on Saturday  is it going quickly for you? Good news that you will be having a private scan at 16 weeks too. The lady that scanned you before sounds horrible, I hope you get someone much nicer at 20 weeks. I'm glad that you had a lovely holiday  

MrsLondon - lovely to hear from you  wow 4 months! Poor thing with the jabs, I hope she isn't upset for too long. How are things with you otherwise? 

Catfish - I'm glad to hear Scarlett is doing so well  how did the photos turn out?

MrsChef - how are things with you now?

Hello to anyone else that is reading! 

AFM - sorry I haven't been posting much, things have been manic lately at home and work so haven't had much chance to post. I have been reading where I can though. We had our counselling appointment on Tuesday for egg sharing, which went fine. She explained there's a 7 day cooling off period so have to call next week to confirm if we want to go ahead. We were made to wait in a horrible waiting area, which I didn't like and there were no drinks so I wasn't happy as so thirsty and then had a splitting headache after waiting for so long and then having the appointment. Hope they don't make us sit there again, but I've learnt my mistake and will take water next time! In other news, we have now finished decorating our room so can enjoy it now  take care ladies xx


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## Katfish

MrsRL thank you! I think it's going fast in ways but March also seems so so far away! Which waiting area did they put you in? I never remember one which didn't have a drinks machine! You should have asked to go and get a drink upstairs they would have let you! When I went for ET we went upstairs for a hot drink as only a water machine in the waiting area near the lab! Glad that it went well though!  what happens next after your phone call?!


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## mrschef04

MrsLondon - ah, four months!  I can't believe it!  How are things going?  How does it feel to be a mother?  Yes, I'm just 6 weeks give or take left now.  I can't wait.  I have found pregnancy really difficult.  I think it has been more difficult for me, mentally, than anything else I'd ever done.  The swelling has finally started to go down and, as sad as this sounds, I am happy to see gray skies across London.  The heat was the worst and being pregnant over the summer is pretty difficult.  My heart condition has made things worse for me, so I have had to scale back everything dramatically.  I'm still dancing, but have stopped the more strenuous exercise and classes.  

MrsRL - glad things are now starting to go ahead, but I'm sorry about the waiting! 

Katfish - I can't believe how fast time is going for you and I.  March will not be that far away, but I'm glad you're not going to be your heaviest during summer.  That really killed me.

AFM - Heart murmur has taken it out of me.  I can feel the extra beat in my heart and it makes me feel like I'm running a marathon now, even if I'm just waddling around in the office at work.  I have decided to take off on maternity leave a little sooner, so I'm finished in less than five weeks at work now.  Pregnancy has been hard for me.  I haven't enjoyed any of it and will be glad when it is done.  I keep having bad dreams where I have my baby and when I see it, that I regret having a child.  I think the problem is that I haven't really bonded with my baby yet, not until I meet the baby.  After the three miscarriages and failed IVF, I think I just don't expect it to happen until my son is in my arms.  I don't feel the massive love or connection with baby yet.  It moves around and it actually kind of grosses me out - almost like I have an alien inside me, not a baby.  Is that horrible or what?


----------



## Catf2008

Hello ladies, I hope you are all well

Mrschef - it won't be much longer till baby is here, I can understand how you feel, I never really bonded with Scarlett when she was in me, I found it hard and I hated seeing my belly move it grossed me out & I then hated myself for feeling that way as I had wanted it for so long & so many women don't get to experience it all. It will be worth it once baby is here & your getting cuddles 

Mrslondon - how's Annika after her injections, i found Scarlett suffered really badly after 16 week injections

Katfish - how are you doing? Bet you can't wait for your 16 week scan, are you going to find out the sex of the baby?

MrsRL - glad things are moving along for you & hopefully the wait won't be to much longer

AFM - For the ladies that asked about the photos, we had to go back twice to try & get them done & they are perfect, some made me cry, we pick them up in a couple of weeks as we had a story board made to put on the wall, the photographer listened to us that she was a Rainbow Baby & she had her rainbow bear with us, so on a picture of her with the bear they put the words After every storm comes a Rainbow. Scarlett's blocked tear duct has finally cleared which is great, we have her hip scan on Thursday & hopefully that will be clear as well and then all we have to worry about is her hearing appointment in the new year


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef - I know nor can I!!!! Exactly planned that well hey!  bless you I'm sure that it really is taking its toll on you! I'm glad that you have brought your leave forward a bit I hope that when your little man is in your hands that all will become more believable and you bond really well with him! Have you spoken to your midwife abouts this as they will probs keep an extra eye out to make sure everything is ok when little one is here?!

Catf - I'm doing very well thank you! If you haven't been to Mangetout I would definitely recommend it! I really can't wait! We are going to keep the sex as a surprise! I love the idea of either the DH telling me or having to investigate when the baby has been put on me! Ah the pictures sound really lovely! I'm hoping that we can get some lovely photos of our little one! So nice that they have listened to you and done a lovely touch to it! Glad that she seems to be thriving and doing so well though! Hope hip scan goes well on Thursday!  

AFM - not much to add really I'm doing well! I have a bit of a bump there now! Felt like I want to eat all the food in the world today! I did my health and safety check at work today so making it even more real and talking about mat leave and bits again! Less than 2wks till we get to see Bobsicle again! 

Love to everyone reading!


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## mrschef04

Hi Katfish - feeling loads better about it all.  Especially after my NCT class this last weekend.  My NCT teacher admitted that she didn't like pregnancy either and really explained about the after birth and your bonding with your child.  She also said that if after a week, you aren't bonding with your baby, that's when you definitely need to flag it with the midwife.  I have to say, however, she brought her baby with her and it was one of the rare times where I thought a child was so adorable!  She also showed us the first 30 minutes of how a baby is when they are born in pictures and it made me love my bump even more.  I think it has definitely helped hanging out with pregnant women in my last trimester.  I also have stopped the regular gym routine.  I'm too tired now and just getting too big.  So I'm still doing three hours of dance a week and two hours of pilates/yoga to keep up my energy.  How does it feel to have the baby bump now?


----------



## Catf2008

MrsChef - glad you are doing better 

Katfish - I've never been before so I'll check it out 

AFM - we got the digital prints today & I'm in love with them


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## Katfish

MrsChef- I'm so so pleased to hear that! I'm really glad that you have now started to love the bump too! I really hope it continues!  I am love my having some kind of bump I still look and think it's just fat some times I can't wait till it's more obvious! Makes things even more real! I'm counting down till next Sunday for our 16wk scan!

CatF- it's definitely worth a trip to. You need to book. If your going for a special occasion tell them when booking and you get a free glass of Fizz well we did anyway the DH enjoyed both glasses while I looked on jealously and just ate the strawberry! The portions are huge you will never be able to finish it!


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## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

MrsChef glad you're feeling much better following your NCT class. I'm sure you'll appreciate taking some more time off before your little man makes his appearance, I was hoping to do the same, took an extra week but went into labour the day after I left work 😂 No rest for the wicked eh. Can't believe you're still exercising! You're super woman.

CatF - so glad your photos came out as you wanted them. Your photographer sounds amazing, just beautiful words they chose. Annika was awful after her jabs, I had to give her calpol until the next day. She was very upset, I cried as much as her, it was terrible. Once I got home there was a letter in the post for her to have her BCG! So we've still got that last one before she's a year. Glad Scarlett's tear duct has unblocked, hope rest of tests come back on too.

Katfish- how amazing is it having a little bump. I miss mine already 😂. I know what you mean about wanting to eat everything, that's what my entire pregnancy was like. 

MrsRL - sorry you had a ****ty time in the clinic re water and heat, it's so annoying when you're uncomfortable. Has the 7 day cooling period passed? Are you still feeling ok about egg sharing? I would probably have considered it had I been allowed. Glad you've finished decorating, our house is still ongoing, I fear it will take years! I'm doing ok, still tired but probably will be until she starts sleeping through the night, also I've found breastfeeding quite draining recently. 

AFM - I can't believe I've done half of my mat leave already  time is going by so fast. On a plus note for the the first time in over 10 years (due to being a teacher) I'm going on holiday during term time in a few weeks!! My cousin is getting married so we're going to BALI!!! I'm really excited on one hand but worried on the other about travelling with Annika and the effects of jet lag etc on her. It's a whopping 8 hour time difference. But my cousin is getting married (hence reason for going) and I'll probably never get to go away term time ever again so trying to embrace it as much as I can. Once we get back I'm going to start weaning Annika and then think about moving onto formula in hope that she starts sleeping more in the night. I can't really complain as she's no way near as bad as some of NCT groups babies but I'm starting to find breastfeeding quite draining although I'm not looking forward to the faff of bottles either. Can't win can you 😂.
Just thinking about to this time last year and a bit before, we've all been through so much, it's nice to read all the positive stories and also still support those who are still going through treatment. 

Xx


----------



## Katfish

MrsLondon - it's amazing having a bump there!  I can see why you miss it but you have a beautiful little girl to hold in your arms instead!  It's actually ridiculous how hungry I am all the time! It's seems like it's actually taking over my life eating! Wow half way through! Are you going back full hours when you return? Ah that will be lovely but the time change will be a big shock to the system! To be honest just having formula will not mean that she will sleep through the night! Chat with your HV what may be better is in the night offering cool boiled water to stop her waking at that feed! Most likely what the HV will say! Formula and bottles is such a faff! If you do go that route get a perfect prep saves so much time! 

MrsRL how's everything going?!

AFM - still starving hungry half the time! I'm awaiting a physio appointment still as have had problems with the joint in my leg/hip that's getting worse and been waiting for physio for months! Really hope it helps as it's going to be impossible when my bump gets bigger! I've got my 16wk check on Wednesday slightly earlier than 16wks due to my shifts. Dreading it I'm going to be knackered! Finish a night shift at 8am and have to stay up and go to that at 10.40!!!! I'm going to die!!! We have our 16wk scan on Sunday I can't wait!!!  

Love and wishes to everyone! X X


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies, sorry I have been AWOL yet again  

Katfish - glad it's going quite quickly for you and that things are still going really well  Sorry you're finding that eating is taking over for you. Are you still feeling lightheaded and sick or has that gone now? I hope you get a physio appointment through soon, it must be a nightmare waiting so long. I hope it helps you too. Good luck with your 16 week check up today, hope you manage to cope and stay up ok for it. How exciting that you have your 16 week scan on Sunday  Let us know how you get on! At the appointment we weren't really in a waiting room, we were made to wait in the Reception area, which I didn't like as everyone kept looking at us. In hindsight I should have asked to get a drink upstairs, but wasn't sure if she was running on time or not and the receptionist seemed a bit grumpy! I won't be doing that again anyway! I will update below in AFM with the next steps  Thanks for asking after me though 

MrsLondon - sorry to hear that time is going fast for you and that you're already half way through maternity leave  Will you be going back full time? I hope you have a lovely time in Bali and you don't have too many issues with the time change! I hope weaning Annika goes well  I'm still feeling ok about egg sharing and have let them know, will explain where we are below! It's only our bedroom we've finished, we have other rooms to decorate now lol. It is lovely that we can all still support each other on here 

Catf - glad you are so happy with the digital prints  It sounds like the photographer did a brilliant job of listening to you and making the photos so personal 

MrsChef - so glad that you are feeling better after your NCT class. I think it is perfectly normal to feel the way you have been after all you have been through. It won't be long now until you meet your son  I hope you continue to love your bump 

Hello to everyone else  

AFM - we will be attending various appointments in the next few weeks. I have to attend for a scan and blood test in a couple of weeks and DH is attending at the same time for a sample. A couple of weeks after we have our IVF planning appointment with the nurse and also more bloods for egg sharing. Then a couple of weeks later we attend again with the egg sharing nurse for planning and consent forms. I think it's looking likely that we will be cycling early next year due to the Christmas closure, but we're ok with that because the earliest we can cycle is November following DH's op. We'll see what they say anyway  Work is manic and stressful at the moment so really glad we're not cycling at the moment as I'm so stressed a lot of the time. Hopefully it will calm down soon.

Take care ladies xx


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## Katfish

MrsRL - the lighthead feelings have gone really only happening if I've not had much to eat or drink! The sickness feeling is still there when I haven't eaten or had much to eat! Nothing like it used to be like though! Thank you! My eyes are wanting to shut so much right now and it's 9.37!!!!! Oh that's really odd! It will be interesting to know the results from the sample hopefully it's improved even more for you guys! Lots of exciting things seem to be happening it's a shame that you can't cycle before Christmas but means you get to enjoy a drink at Christmas and for your Christmas do!

X X


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## mrschef04

Hi Katfish - glad you're doing well!  Yes, it sort of is weird with the eating, isn't it?  By the end, I am now back to how I would normally eat, except still having a sweet thing each day, as it's such a bummer not having coffee or wine.  So excited that you're having a 16 week scan soon!  How is everything feeling for you?

MrsRL - that is a shame you can't cycle until after Christmas, but to be honest, it will be great that you do get to have a drink and relax over the Christmas holidays!

MrsLondon - wow, halfway through leave!  6 months then?  That's great you are going on holiday.  It's especially nice when it's out of term time - everything is cheaper and quieter!  

AFM - Hubby and I booked our trip to Paris over the New Year with baby.  We were going to do Eurostar, but found that with going with baby, that it was easier to travel via flight near the airport near home and have a pram, etc.  The flight will only be an hour then and we are staying in a hotel.  I'm at 35 weeks and I keep getting freaked out when people say I'll be overdue, as it's my first baby.  It actually makes me depressed and cry if I have to be overdue.  On top of that, a lot of women keep saying that they don't exercise or do anything until 7 months, which freaks me out even more.  However, I have two old girlfriends from when I was a fighter that are coming over this weekend for dinner.  We've been in touch, but haven't hung out, but I think now that I'm joining the "child club," we can all relate!  They both are professional fighters as well and they both started working out again around 6 weeks.  It will be nice.  Just looking forward to organising the nursery this weekend.  It's weird, as I finally bought nappies too and my hospital bag is packed!  Hope everyone else is well! xx


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## Katfish

MrsChef - yes it really is midwife said its probs because my blood sugar is low. It's worse when I'm at work and it's probs because I'm having to eat so early in the morning and my body doesn't know what it's doing. Luckily I'm not too affected by the no coffee as I don't drink it and wine I only drank on occasions. I'm just missing a glass of the fizzy stuff and cocktails! But milkshakes make up for those things!  it's still feeling like it's all a dream really and I just need to wake up. I was feeling down about the appointment start thinking they will not find a heart beat or something but all was fine! Aww that will be lovely having trip to Paris! It's each to there own and if you really want to work out you will make time for it! Don't worry! Some days will be harder! Oooo how exciting enjoy sorting the nursery out! Your very close now!


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## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

Katfish thanks for your advice, I've heard about the cooled boiled water and I tried giving her some yesterday during the day but she wouldn't take it. I'm going to try in the night tonight in hope that she won't realise as she'll be too sleepy 😂. Think I need some bigger teats for my bottles though as I've only got the very first ones and the flow is probably way too slow. I've heard about the perfect prep, will definitely have to look into getting one of those. Unfortunately I'll be going back to work full time, in hope that I'll have a FET in the near future and be able to have full maternity pay, otherwise I'll probably go part time next September. How was your 16 week check? Wasn't it today? Hope all went well...  

MrsRL - looks like it's all systems go for you, it's probably wise to wait until the new year with Christmas coming up and the stress at your work. Work stress is something you definitely don't need when you're cycling. Unfortunately I'll be going back to work full time 😢 But only because I'm hoping to have an FET next year and I want to get my full maternity pay again. If it doesn't work then I'll ask to go part time four days I think from the following September.

MrsChef don't worry, the GP said to me that once you have your 6week check then you're ok to start exercising again. Also forget the "oh you'll be late as its our first baby nonsense". I thought the same and Annika was 5 days early. Paris sounds wonderful!! Have you booked your flights already? With bubbas name? I knew what we were calling Annika before she was born but my mum refused to let me book the flights for Bali as she's mega superstitious. I'll be going back to work full time but Annika will be 8 month by then as she's 4.5months at the moment. Im only going back to work in December for one day and then it's the Christmas hols so it will be more like January. 

Xx


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## Katfish

MrsLondon -  a colleague of mine watered down the milk gradually the ended up with water and they soon stopped waking up. Yes may be worth trying bigger tears! We only use medium flows really at work! Could try a vary flow teat! That's a shame but I know what you mean! How many do you have frozen? I will be returning part time which will be 23h and doing a weekend shift every other week too! That's the plan anyway if work allow it! Then when we try for number two and get success then plan is to stop work after that and new house! But we will see! Or maybe return for 3months for mat leave then leave! It was pretty pointless I was so tired from my night shift didn't really say much showed up the heart beat did my blood pressure which had risen slightly then that was it! I felt like there was no point in the whole thing minus hearing the heart beat which was obviously lovely! X X


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## mrschef04

MrsLondon - no, didn't book for my baby yet, as the flights require passport details, but I had a look and I can call up the airline once I have baby and give them the details, as baby will just be in my lap.  Then I'll notify the hotel as well.  Thanks for the help on the exercise and the "being late" thing.  That freaks me out way too much.  I was thinking of only doing 6 months of breastfeeding then weaning off after that, but like you, I may not be able to continue on, but will definitely push on for the 6-month mark.  I missed my breastfeeding session with NCT, so going to do one with the hospital.  Wasn't all that fussed with the group I met.  I think Mom and Baby classes will be a better way of meeting people.  How are you feeling about going back to work?  I still can't believe you're already halfway through.

Katfish - I'm so stoked for you!  I'm so happy that things are going well for you!  You and I are sort of the stragglers on this group and the last to get pregnant, eh?  It's quite funny.  Yes, it feels right to sort out the nursery this weekend.  I can't wait.  The lights and everything look really cool!  It's just a really fun and sweet little room for baby to have.

AFM - my BFP group are all slowly starting to give birth or finish work now.  I can't believe I'm done with work in just three weeks and then it's 5 1/2 months off for me!  The longest time I have ever taken off.


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## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

Thanks for the tip Katfish, I am definitely going to try that when I come back from Bali. One of my friends did that too and it worked. Sounds like you've got a good plan for the future  I wish I could go back to work part time or not at all but unfortunately we just can't afford it. Did you say you weren't going to find out the sex? 

MRsChef - I have mixed feelings about going back to work. I think if I was only going back part time I would feel better but seeing as I'll be full time I'm not really looking forward to it as such. Ahhh that's a shame about your NCT group. Think they are a bit hit and miss, I was really lucky with my group. They are great. We meet up once or twice a week which is nice. I'll look forward to hearing your news! Not long at all now.

AFM - I'm desperately trying to get all my holiday stuff ready but it's taking ages. Keeping thinking of new things I need to buy for Annika. This time next week I'll be at the airport 🙈 Eeeeeeek!!

xx


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## MrsRL

Hi ladies! How's it going? It's quite quiet in here again.

Katfish - so glad things are going well for you. How did your 16 week scan go? Hope all Is well with you. They haven't said for definite that I can't cycle before Christmas, but I have looked at the booking in dates and I think it's unlikely, although it only goes up to October! We should find out in a couple of weeks. Drinking won't bother me anyway as I don't really drink so doesn't matter either way  

MrsChef - it's getting really close now, so exciting! I hope you are getting on well sorting the nursery. The trip to Paris sounds brilliant  As I said to Katfish, drinking doesn't worry me as I don't really drink, only on the odd occasion. 

Mrs London - I think you're on holiday now, so hope you're having a fantastic time  you're right stress doesn't help, and I'm trying to keep it at bay where possible. My boss is also understanding and tries to relieve the stress! Sorry to hear you will have to work full time, but very exciting that you're planning a FET   have a lovely holiday anyway and I hope Annika enjoys it and you managed to sort everything for her  

Hello to everyone else! 

AFM - I had a scan and bloods done this morning. The scan was ok but just waiting on the blood test results now, they are testing for AMH first and if that's ok will test for other things with that blood sample and then will have more blood tests in 2 weeks if it comes back ok, when we have our planning appointment. DH didn't have to have a test in the end as his recent one is valid so it will save us a bit of money. I hope everyone is ok. Take care xx


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## Katfish

MrsChef - we are and hopefully MrsRL will join us on the band wagon too! How did nursery sorting go? You still feeling like your bonding more now?! Very close for you now too! Your nearly finishing work now hey? One more week left is it?

MrsLondon - hopefully things will work out the way we have planned but with my job it's very hard to sort out childcare! Yes it's going to be a surprise at delivery!  you must be in Bali now I hope that your having an amazing time!

MrsRL - the 16wk scan was lovely the baby was moving around a lot and sitting in awkward positions to get good views but then curled up into a ball and we have an amazing scan photo of that! Nor did I but there's only some occasions I've missed it! Such as a glass of fizz or some very yummy looking cocktails! (I always feel a little childish and naughty when I say Cocktails! Haha!) how did the blood results come back! Glad the DH's sample was looking better so saving you some money!

AFM - plodding along with life! Had my flu jab last Saturday which I've always avoided at work like the plague! Then felt awful on Wednesday worried about little one when at work and ended up getting checked out in MAU got to hear heart beat again which was a huge sign of relief! Then woke up Thursday morning with a stinking cold! Obvs the reason for feeling rubbish the day before! I'm 18wks today girls can you believe it! It's flying by!!!! Still not feeling little one move I don't think! I have wondered if I have once or twice but then put it down to different things! Only weird but kind of good discovery I had yesterday was I seem to already have some colostrum! Was looking at something on my nipple (like you do) and the next min there's some colostrum there! Proves my body is ready to do it! Just hope that I don't end up leaking or anything like that! The DH is aware he's no longer allowed near them! Haha!

How's everyone doing?! 

Night for now back at work bright and early tomorrow!


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## mrschef04

Hello ladies, a pretty dramatic delivery at 38 weeks and 3 days.  Waters broke at 3am and Maximilian Aengus Christopher Maciej Rehan Holba born today at 2.11pm at 8 pounds.  Have to stay overnight as I lost a lot of blood and demanded an epidural, so all good.  Will write more later, but lots of love!!


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## Catf2008

Huge congratulations MrsChef & welcome to the world Maximilian, nice weight for him x


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## Katfish

Congratulations MrsChef fantastic news sorry you had a dramatic delivery but he's here now and doing well! We have has 2 babies at work in the last 3 was called max and one was also born yesterday!  x x x x


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## MrsRL

Huge congratulations MrsChef on the birth of Maximilian      So happy for you  xx


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## mrschef04

Thank you ladies.  I finally saw what everyone else has seen.  I can't believe how much I love him.  

Everything that my NCT teacher said would be unlikely to happen in my labour just managed to happen.  My waters broke exactly like the films in a massive waterfall at 3am on Sunday.  Even though they could see that I was in pain at hospital, they sent me home at 2cm dilation (20 min journey) and said that since it was my first, I couldn't possibly be in full labour at 38 weeks and 3 days and when I got home, in 20 min, I left again due to the pain.  That was the most stressful bit.  They examined me again and I was fully dilated at 10cm. The pain was agonising and they couldn't believe I dilated so quick without any pain relief.  I begged for an epidural by then.  Even my husband, who is against an epidural saw that I needed it.  The pain was so bad, I was a zombie, I couldn't have conversations and I couldn't concentrate on pushing.  Within 15 min of epidural, all fine.  The baby's head was at the entrance but wasn't coming out and contractions slowed, so they put me on an oxytocin drip.  I delivered at 2.11pm on Sunday, so just a 11 hour labour.  They had to do a horizontal cut and suction to get him out.  Baby son born at 8 pounds. I lost a lot of blood.  They had two bin bags full of gauze etc from me, so I had to stay overnight at hospital. 

He is so attached already and sleep is a thing of the past, but who cares when being awake is so amazing?


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## Katfish

MrsChef oh my goodness sounds like you had a right time of it! But I'm really glad that you have fallen so in love with your little man as you had been worried about that! I think in some ways it's nicer to stay for the first night because you can ask those questions you have etc. But when you just get sent home you are left to your own devices! Anyway lots of love to you all on your new little adventure! I'm so looking forward to march!!!! X x xx


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## mrschef04

Katfish, I'm just so happy you get to go on this journey too.  I've never cried so much of happiness since ive had him.  Everything they say about having a child is true.  Even for a tough ass like me.  I completely melted.  Btw, the best things for hospital bag, in case, are lots of nappies and extra nightgowns with snap buttons to breast feed easily.  It was the best bits I needed.  Keep us posted as you get on!!! xxx


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## MrsLondon

Mrschef!!!!!! Whoooohoooo massive congratulations. What great news to come home to. See I told you not to worry about going overdue. So pleased for you that everything has fallen into place and you are smitten with your boy.

Katfish - glad to hear you're doing well. Almost half way there now!! I wasn't keen on the flu jab either but it's for the best isn't it. And you've already started leaking colostrum! That's great, you'll probably have a really high supply of milk. Don't worry about not feeling lo move. With first babies it can take a while and then it's like was that something lol. I remember feeling like that. Then all of a sudden it's very obvious.

MrsRl glad to hear tests are underway. Hope your results come back as desired. That's good that DH doesn't have to have re test, everything is so expensive and adds up so any savings here and there really do help. 

AFM - back from Bali, it was lovely but a completely different holiday when taking a little one. Annika was a little star on the flight. She did so well and coped with the heat really well too. Unfortunately I was a little unwell whilst there and then sick when we came home but all better now. I've started to wean Annika too which is a lot of fun . She's still waking up 2/3 times in the night though and don't know how to tackle that. I tried giving her cooled boiled water last night but she wouldn't take it  so tonight I'll try watered down formula. I'm trying to wean her off the breast too as I want to stop breastfeeding at 6 months which she'll be on the 1st November. She's taken to formula really well but I'm still feeding her before bed, during the night and in the morning. Then formula, food and my expressed supply during the day. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be due to these night feeds that she's still having. Anyway I'm sure you all don't want to listen to me harping on about my breastfeeding habits. I just really need her to sleep through the night by the time I go back to work. 
I thought weaning would help too but so far nothing and in fact she's been waking even earlier in the night since we got back. 

Hi to everyone else, Catf have you started weaning Scarlett yet? 

Lots of love to you wonderful ladies,

MrsLondon xxx


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## mrschef04

MrsLondon - thanks so much!  It is amazing!  How old was Annika when you started weaning her?  I feel the same about breastfeeding.  I'm only going to do 6 months.  I'm very happy that I literally stopped work on Friday and the next evening, I went into labour, so I'm spending the full six months with my son.  He's a bit jaundiced at the moment, as I had a ventouse birth, so I'm just watching my poor boy a little bit.  However, he's really picked up his breastfeeding now and feeding at 2 1/2 hours and also regular bowel movements three times a day, so I'm hoping things clear up by tomorrow.  Was it good that the holiday was different with little one?  My hubby and I have Paris booked, but we're now not going until my birthday at the beginning of February, so baby will be four months old.  I reckon we will be early risers and early to bed, but we don't care, as long we we are together.  We also rented an entire flat through AirBnB, which we think we will do from now on for travels.  It lets you have a full home from home and it doesn't stress anyone else out that you have a baby.  Plus it's cheaper!  Anyway, enough with my ramble!  Hubby and I are in heaven.  Even though we're at home and hubby is taking two weeks off from work, we both agreed that it's the best holiday we've ever had!  Lots of love to all of you!


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## Katfish

MrsChef- ah that's so lovely to hear! I'll be very prepared with the nappies! But will be investing in night wear closer to my due date I expect as not sure what will happen with breast size at the mo! Not much growth yet! Glad everything is going well with your new little family! Hopefully his jaundice level is going down the fact he's pooing and weeing lots is a fab sign! Get those curtains open to get some daylight on him to help with his jaundice too! As the trauma from the forceps heals too that will help with the jaundice!
MrsLondon - I can't believe I'm over half way there! I can feel the baby moving and kicking now too started just after I turned 18wks I think which is a lovely feeling! I think bobsicle was paying us back yesterday kicked me and made me jump as though I'd got a shiver up my spine! We had to poke and wiggle my tummy a lot to try and make the baby change position for my 20wk scan was being an awkward bugger! Busy curled into a ball scratching their nose with their knee! So after two attempts with a break in the middle I've still got to go back tomorrow for take 3!! Haha!! It's very easy for the colostrum to get there but I don't think it's leaking as such! I hope it doesn't! I hope so I'm also hoping that I get some breasts out of it! Haha! My AA cup will hopefully increase and stay that way! I'm glad you had a lovely time it's a shame you where ill! Fingers crossed you get somewhere with the night feeding malarkey!


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## mrschef04

Katfish! Halfway there already!  Gosh, how time just passes so quickly!  I'm so happy you're progressing so well and can just keep moving forward to everything!  Thank you for the reassurance with jaundice.  He improved loads and is pooing and peeing loads today.  He also looks a lot less yellow.  He's such a good baby.  He's not really a crier and I managed to get the knack of breastfeeding now.


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## MrsLondon

Morning all,

Mrschef - I started weaning Annika at 5.5 months would probably have started at 5 if I was here but couldn't be bothered with taking stuff to Bali. She absolutely loves it! She literally eats anything that I've given to her. So holiday was good different in some ways and extremely challenging in other ways. It was hard not having hubby with me but even then she's so clingy that she wouldn't have really gone to him for that long anyway. Airbnb sounds super though!! You'll be fine and Paris doesn't have a 7hour time difference. 

Katfish - oh how funny, hope mini Katfish is in a better position for you today?

Sorry to rush off, Annika has just woken up from a nap so need to get her.

Love to all xx


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## Catf2008

Hello all

Sorry I have been awol but I shall try and catch up now 

MrsChef - sounds like you are doing brilliantly with the breast feeding, sorry to hear he has had some jaundice and I really hope it clears up soon

Katfish - half way already I can't believe that, I bet you are getting all excited now, have you bought much of what you need, I agree with MrsChef and the hospital bag I was surprised how many nappies a newborn goes through 

Mrslondon - we started weaning Scarlett at 5 months she was getting fussy with her milk and she seems to love her food now. She will only take it at lunch & dinner as she is to tired in the morning for breakfast, I'm not doing the baby lead weaning I'm doing it the old fashioned way & doing the purée. How are you getting on with annika & weaning

Hello to everyone else 

Afm - well scarlett is coming on leaps and bounds, she has hospital tomorrow about her hip but the scan we had the other week said it was perfect so they will hopefully just be signing us off, we had 2 bottom teeth make an appearance over the weekend which explains why my normally happy baby was so grumpy, most nights she goes down at 10pm and sleeps till 7am barring this last week but I've blamed that on her teeth and the fact that my father in law passed away last week and she was picking up on our moods so that made her upset. We get so comments on how content our baby girl is & how happy she is, she doesn't really cry which is great and will smile most of the time & she can sit without support for 20 seconds 😳


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## Katfish

MrsChef I know I can't believe I'm half way there already!! That's ok it's part of my job! I see it day to day!  fantastic news that he's not much of a crier and brill that you have cracked breast feeding!

MrsLondon bobcicle certainly was in the right position this time! She put the probe on my tummy and immediately there was a perfect spine! 

Catf I can't believe I'm half way there either! The Moses basket and stand was delivered yesterday that we brought at a baby show, got the odd bit of clothing we spotted and had to buy! Blankets etc that I've spotted on sale! Bouncy chair from the baby show too! We have quite a few bits really got another baby show Friday when we will be buying the buggy and nursery furniture etc. Due to my job I know just how many nappies we get through haha! Including those ones that only last a second if that because they poo just as you pop it under them!  I'm glad that Scarlett is doing really well! Ah the dreaded teeth I hope that she isn't too bad with them now and goes back to her happy cheery self!

AFM - to be honest I'm struggling! I'm loving my little bump I'm so excited about march it can't come fast enough! Loving buying little bits for our little one too! What I'm really struggling with is prior to ET I was having some hip problems I thought I had just pulled something and it would go away I've got bad joints anyway! But it didn't so I went for physio, the physio took ages to start and then caused more pain so I stopped the exercises! They gave me different exercises and now I have severe back pain which makes me want to cry when it starts. It's like my back spasms. It's not constant at the moment but you don't know when it will start or when it will settle down! I went for more physio yesterday and they have changed my exercises slightly but referring me to Hydrotherapy and basically said they are not the right people for me so have referred me to women's health physio but will see me until that starts! I'm just so fed up with it! And I know that the bigger I get the more it will hurt! My job can be very full on too and 12.5h shifts Don't help matters either! 
We have also put or house on the market which should be kind of exciting looking at new houses but this pain is just bringing me down about everything!


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## mrschef04

Katfish, I'm so sorry!  I know that the hip pain only increases as pregnancy goes on.  The next steps I would look at is visiting a chiropractic and then even deep tissue massage.  I'm a former athlete, so pain and injury are my thing.  However, this sounds a bit tough. 

Catf & MrsLondon - interesting, then why do my midwives say no food until 6 months?


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## MrsLondon

Hi girls,

Katfish I'm so sorry that you're in pain, it really takes the fun away from being pregnant doesn't it? Mrschef had offered you some sound advice though. Hope you manage to get it sorted. Exciting news about your house too. 

Mrschef - so the old guidelines used to be 16weeks and then it changed to 6 months but word on the streets (according to my HV) is that in Jan it's changing 17 weeks! Who knows, I'd say after 5 months read the signs of your baby. Annika was so ready for food. 

Catf- lovely to hear from you! Wow two teeth that's great!! We currently have zero teeth. Sorry to hear about your father in law. That's so sad  . Annika is doing well with weaning she loves food!! I'm not doing baby led either. I've been making purées myself though and she has baby rice and porridge as well. She'll literally eat whatever I give her. Annika can sit really well and she rolls back to front but she's not a fan of being on her tummy so once there starts grumbling. She seems happier now having food and some formula. 

AFM we've had a break through the last two nights and Annika has gone from 7-4.45 had a feed and then went back to sleep until 7. So I think maybe she just was hungry and all the extra calories with food and formula have filled her up? Who knows. We are off to a wedding today and my mum is having her from 1pm until the next day!! I'm slightly nervous as it's first time she's having her for such a long time. She's had her overnight before but only when once when she was 6 weeks and then once when she was 12 weeks. Hope she'll be ok but we won't be too far away if my mum needs us to come back. I'm sure she won't....

How are things MrsRL??

Love to you all xx


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## Katfish

MrsChef - exactly I'm dreading getting worse just annoyed with myself that I didn't get it checked out when it initially started! I was thinking about a chiropractor! I am going to see how the hydrotherapy goes first which is am starting the Tuesday after next or may try sooner if the pain gets worse again! It seems to have gone back to what it used to be doing more now and the back pain has certainly lessened. Still getting the occasional twinge but we will see what happens just trying to be extra careful! They say no food till 6months as at that stage the guy would be able to process it but before then the gut is too immature! It used to be wean at 4 months basically at some point between 4 and 6months when the baby is looking more interested in food and hungrier is when the baby is ready to wean! How's things going with little Max?!

MrsLondon - it certainly does I think if I wasn't having this I would be loving it a lot more! I'm feeling so many movements now which really helps cheer your day up! Little one just needs to be good for daddy as he's getting jealous he can't feel the baby moving really and unsure if he had actually felt the baby previously! I hope that Annika has been continuing to sleep better! I hope that the wedding went well and that she behaved for your mum!

AFM - had the most amazing feeling yesterday when I was on nights I was on my break at 2am and the baby was kicking! I put my fingers on my tummy and pushed down slightly where the baby had been kicking and clearly felt the lump of whichever limb was pushed into me! It was so lovely made me go a bit teary!  we ordered our nursery furniture and pushchair on Friday at the baby show so exciting!


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## MrsRL

MrsChef - it sounds like things are going really well for you and Maximilian. I hope the jaundice has improved now too. It's great that you are breast feeding and he is not much for a crier  

MrsLondon - thank you for asking after me, I will update below. Great news that Annika is sleeping better now, long may it continue! How did it go with the wedding? I hope everything went ok and Annika behaved for your mum  

Katfish - how amazing for you that you're feeling movements now  so pleased to hear things are going so well  sorry to hear about your hip pain though, that must be awful for you. I hope the hydrotherapy helps, and if not something else like a chiropractor does help you. Exciting that your planning to move house too, we are thinking about doing the same at the moment! Have you had any viewings yet? We're booking an appointment with a mortgage advisor shortly and currently decorating each room with a view to putting it on the market in the new year. 

Catf - it is lovely to hear that Scarlett is doing so well  it sounds like she is doing brilliantly. So sorry to hear of the loss of your Father in Law. 

Hello to everyone else! 

Afm - things have moved along for us and we are hoping to start our next cycle on my next af, which is due early November! Let's see if it plays ball now!! This means that downregging will be late November and December, with stims over Christmas and egg collection in the New Year. The only thing that could delay it is one blood test we're waiting to come back, but the nurse thinks it will be back next week! My prolactin was also slightly raised, but it was only very slightly so they think it's stress and fingers crossed won't be a problem, as I have no other symptoms.

I am currently trying to decide whether to have the scratch and also looking at embryo glue. I had the scratch on my first cycle, but not sure if it was worth it or not. It's obviously also an added expense. Does anyone have experience of whether it makes a difference or not? I am feeling excited and nervous to get started now, not sure if it is better or worse knowing what to expect lol. It's sinking in now that we will be starting soon after waiting so long with DH's op etc. I just hope this cycle goes better than the last. Take care everyone xx


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## MrsLondon

Hi all,

MrsRL- I have no experience of either I'm afraid, I was at the Lister and they do the scratch but not embryo glue as they said there's no actual proven research that it works. Who knows?!  I would have got it if it was available though I'm sure. So exciting!! Hopefully less stressful now you know how it all works. 

Katfish - Ahhh that's lovely, it's the best feeling isn't it. How is your hip?

MrsChef - How are you getting on as a new mummy? 

AFM - Annika was fine for my mum but she did wake up at 3am and cried for around 10/15mins. The next day though she was in a really weird mood, quiet and very unlike her. she's back to her whingy self now though 😜. She's currently got a very bad cough and cold and is teething. Between Saturday and today so five days, three of her bottom teeth have cut through. She seems to be coping quite well with it though. I've been trying to leave her more with my mum in the day in preparation for my return to work only a few hours here and there. It's going ok actually which I'm pleased about. 
Hope you're all ok, Catf how was Scarlett's final hip check?

Lots of love xx


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## Stini

Hello ladies. Sorry I've been out of the loop. I'm freelance, so get very little mat pay: a job came up for the last two months and I took it, and now see why most people take six months mat leave. Don't think I've ever been this exhausted and that's including when Fergus was a newborn! 

So, very quickly, before I catch up in more detail: 
AAAAAH, MRSCHEF! Congratulations, and welcome to your excellently named small fella! How are you doing now?
Katfish, can't believe you're halfway already! Hope you're feeling better and therapy is working for you?
Did you reach a decision on the scratch, MrsRL?

We started weaning Fergus a month ago (he's six 1/2 months now) and went for a combination of purees, mashed veg and baby-led finger foods. It's so much fun but also a lot of work. Lunchtime much easier now that he can mash a couple of toast fingers with hummus into his mouth. Really looking forward to stopping work (after tomorrow) and spending some time just being a mum again. Never thought I'd say that...

How's everyone else? Xx


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## mrschef04

Hi Stini - not doing too bad, but he went through serious growth spurts and is really clingy.  Any advice on this?  He literally doesn't want to be away from me or my breastfeeding!  Funny that you say that about being a mum.  It's how I feel.  The moment I gave birth to him, all of the small stuff wasn't worth sweating about anymore and my family just became so important to me.  However, I'm feeling driven crazy by having to sit here like a crack whore and feed baby, change baby, soothe baby and I'm literally doing nothing else.  I know it's great and it's bonding, but I just can't stand not having even two seconds to drink a glass of water.  I am definitely joining a gym with creche just to give myself two hours of alone time a day.  It will be a little pricey, but so damn worth it.

oh dear, he's sobbing again and cannot be soothed, back to feeding and will write more soon ladies!  hope you're all well!


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## MrsLondon

MrsChef- it does get easier. Annika, was sooooooo clingy and she still kinda is although a lot better now. I was lucky because she didn't cluster feed but did always want to be held by me. I ended up giving her a dummy for a little while until she got a bit older. Hang in there. Xx


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## Stini

Yeah, I'd second a dummy, and I was pretty anti them at first. Sometimes you just need to replicate the soothing stuff your body can do with kit. Two pricier things I would totally recommend are a Sleepyhead pod and a Boba baby carrier. The first one snuggles the baby for naps with a sort of foam arm (we worked up to full sleeps with Fergus) the second one holds them close to you but leaves you hands free, and they'll nap in here as well (there's a built-in hood so you don't have to cover their heads with scarves).. I never felt confident enough to use a fabric sling, so the Boba is lightweight but still structured. Began to feel I was getting things back once I could either put him down for a nap or cuddle him in to me but still have my hands free and go out. Bouncy chair with vibrate function pretty good too, but those only last till about 3 months - F just grew out of his Sleepyhead and we're still using the Boba.. I also have loads of baby kit that didn't work, so I'm really fond of the stuff that did! We also used the yoga birth ball and a move someone passed on to us called the "Dutch nun" (hold the baby horizontally, take a step to the right, bring your feet together, bend your knees & straighten , step to the left, bring your feet together, bend your knees & straighten, repeat until the baby stops crying) a LOT.

The family feeling is so intense, isn't it? New to me - my family is tiny & pretty undemonstrative. Lots of love to you, hon. It gets so much better, and the newborn phase up until 12 weeks is so strange. But it goes really quickly.
Xxx


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## mrschef04

Stini - thanks hon!  The vibrating chair and a dummy are definitely working!  I did end up letting my midwife know and she also insisted on dummies!  I also got a foam wedge for reflux (helped loads) and ordered a fabric sling.  Yes, if little Max was feeding every 3 hours instead of every two hours, it would be better.  I'm just hoping!  The family of my hubby and our son is my perfect happiness.  I'm so grateful! 

MrsLondon - that's good to know!  The cluster feeding has made me question my own sanity a few times.  However, midwife called our baby an elephant. He put on a kilo in just over 9 days!  He is only 4 weeks and one day old and he is already outgrowing his 0-3 month clothes!  I think he just needed soothing techniques.  Glad the visit went well.  I already booked a 9wk date with hubby.  My in laws are staying overnight, but hubby and I will go out for 3-4 hours to our favourite restaurant.  I always felt it was important to do this once a month after the first two months.  I'm starting the gym with crèche in two weeks so baby can get used to nursery at small intervals too. Though I'm probably mainly doing it for me, so I don't have an emotional time and it will be great to get two hours to myself each day.  I could use it.

Katfish -  I can't believe how fast it's gone for you!  How are you feeling now?

MrsRL - I'm so excited that you get to start again so soon!  Let us know how you'll be getting on!

AFM - I'm good.  I don't mind the breastfeeding, but I wish it would space out to at least every three hours instead of every 1 1/2 - 2 hours!  My hubby asks if I am ever happy with any of it.  Funnily enough, labour was one of my favourite bits!  I'm literally 5 kilos off my pre-pregnancy weight already.  No time to eat!  The lack of sleep is killing me, but I also miss my exercise, music, writing, dance..  I have had no energy since late pregnancy, so I feel like I'm just a banged up cow at the moment.  Hope everyone is good.  Sorry for the late response, but ended up having to type this out on my phone!


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies,

MrsLondon - good news that Annika was fine for your Mum. It is great she is doing well with teething and staying with your Mum in the day. I have decided that I will have the scratch and embryo glue, as I don't want to regret it if I don't. I know it still may not help, but I want to try everything I can.

Stini - lovely to hear from you  how exciting that you have started weaning Fergus! How long will you be stopping work for this time? I hope you enjoy being a Mum again without working, which I'm sure you will  I have decided to have the scratch, as might as well do everything I can. 

MrsChef - it sounds like you are doing really well and you have been given some great tips by the others too  I will update what is happening with me below 

Katfish - how are things with you? How are you feeling now? I hope all is ok 

Catf - how are you? How did Scarlett's hip check go?

Hello to anyone else that is reading.

AFM - af finally did something I wanted to and came on time, rather than early as has happened in the past!! This means I can cycle this month as my af is within the dates to avoid the Christmas closure. I will start downregging on day 21 of this cycle, which is 27th November. I have decided to have the scratch and also the embryo glue and throw everything at it, as I don't want to regret not doing so. According to the schedule, the downreg scan is 20th December and stims start on 21st December, all being well! My SIL has invited us to go to her for Christmas, but we have decided we would rather be at home with me having to do injections etc, so will spend it with my family coming here and then just relax at home. My SILs do not know about treatment, but we're going to suggest visiting before Christmas rather than over it, as I doubt I will feel like it! My manager knows about the treatment and has been very supportive, which is a relief. I phoned the clinic yesterday and I have been told a nurse will call back at some point this week. I am feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement!! I just hope it goes better than the last cycle! Take care ladies xx


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## MrsLondon

MrsRL - oooooh exciting news  I completely understand you getting the scratch and the embryo glue. You're right, best to throw everything available in. Good plan re Christmas too, being in the comfort of your home will definitely help you feel more relaxed. I'm keeping everything crossed for you. 

MrsChef - it's nice that you've got some "me" plans in place. It's really important that you are able to do such things as to avoid getting PND. Hope little Max has been a little better on the clingy front, glad the dummy has helped. Annika had reflux too, she was on her wedge for around 4months. Are you swaddling Max? That really helped Annika in the first three months too with her sleep. 

Stini - how are you getting on with Fergus? Does he sleep through the night yet? Annika was doing better with her sleep but has now started waking for mummy cuddles in the middle of the night. Glad you finish your contract soon and able to spend more time with the boy. I'm back to work soon and not looking forward to it one bit. 

Xx


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## Katfish

MrsRL we have had some house viewings but not that many the area is quite at the moment and our house is quite specialist too! How exciting for you hopefully yours sells fast! Are you planning on staying in the same area? My prolactin was raised initially too for our first cycle they where not worried! I'm glad that AF showed her face for you on time mine was slap bang in the middle of their closure! I hope that all goes well! Are you sniffing with your Down Reg? Glad that your work are also being supportive and that you have settled with your decision on scratch and glue. Wishing you all the best with the cycle.

MrsLondon my hip is about the same as before to be honest it's the least of my pain worries at the moment! Will explain in AFM. Unfortunately this is the time of the year for bugs! Hope she's feeling better now! 

Stini I'm glad that Fergus is doing really well! Glad that weaning is going down a storm too! I plan to mix wean too! Hope your enjoying putting work aside again and being a mummy! I know I can't believe I'm 24wks tomorrow!!! See bellow about current progress!

MrsChef bless you I hope that little man starts to last a bit longer between feeds soon he obviously is enjoying them and cuddles too much! I've brought a sling we did training at work with them and I think they are great! I'm well though still in a lot of pain on and off!

AFM - pregnancy is going absolutely fine feeling little one move around so much now! Loves being cheeky and not moving then as soon as I lie in bed kicks away like crazy! It's the best feeling ever! At the same time I would say it does feel a bit weird at times but I still love it! My bump is gradually growing and I'm feeling pretty fat doesn't help that with appointments you have to weigh yourself and that makes you feel like a 🐳 haha! 
The only problem I'm having is with my pains! The Hip pain is bearable as now my exercises are not are serious it's just settled back to before. The issue is my pelvic floor spasms have come back! They are treating me as a chronic pain patient because it's a recurring problem so therefore the pain receptors are already there for it! Unfortunately because of being pregnant they can't treat me as well as they did previously and have to be careful with what they do! I also feel very much that if one more person asks me if I've taken something for the pain I'm actually going to throw paracetamol in their face! Due to it being muscular paracetamol does sod all and actually last time I took both paracetamol and ibrufen and it did nothing for the pain! They are hoping that they will still manage to help gain control of my pelvic floor but we will see I don't feel pretty hopefully about it! I had my first hydrotherapy on Tuesday traffic was awful and arrived 45mins late luckily they still saw me but the stress of getting there meant my already hurting back felt worse and then the hydrotherapy made that worse! Feels a little like going in circles to be honest! We will see what happens in the end! Main thing is I can't wait to see our little bundle of joy!


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## MrsRL

MrsLondon - thank you for your kind words  How are things with you? How is Annika doing? I hope all is well with you.

Katfish - I hope you get some more viewings and your house sells soon. Have you found any houses you like the look of? We will most probably stay in the same area, as we can't afford to move out of it really. We're still in the very early stages at the moment though and concentrating on decorating at the mo. How about you? Are you staying in the same area? Thank you for your best wishes. I am injecting for my down reg, they gave me the choice and talked me through it all, and I decided to go for the jabs. I'm so glad to hear your pregnancy is going well. Sorry to hear that you are still in pain though. I hope something helps you to keep the pain bearable until you get to meet your LO  

Hello to everyone else, I hope you are well. 

AFM - I had a call from the clinic yesterday to book in for my scratch and give me dates etc. Typically they want me to have the scratch on the same day I have an event in the evening at work, so I hope I feel OK after to stay late. I will have to tell my manager it could be an issue. I should hear from the drug company this week to arrange delivery of all the meds and then should receive my cycle plan in the post as well. It's now sinking in that it's happening!! I had a bit of a downer at the weekend about everything, for no reason in particular, but just felt fed up! I'm feeling a bit better now and trying to stay positive. xx


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies, it's very quiet in here now. I hope you're all ok 

I just wanted to update that I had my endo scratch yesterday, it went fine and was a different experience to my last clinic, better!! It was quite painful/uncomfortable yesterday but I feel ok now. I start DR tomorrow, so it's really happening now! xx


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## MrsLondon

MrsRL - that's good news. Sorry I've been absent, my phone switched to the mobile site and I couldn't figure out how to turn it back. Been thinking about you and hoping all was well. Sorry you were in pain but fingers crossed it will all be worth it soon enough. Glad the clinic is better too. I'm so excited for you.

Katfish - hope you're feeling ok?

MrsChef - how are doing now? Has little Max settle a bit? Have you made it to the gym?

xx


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## mrschef04

MrsRL, that's great news!  I'm so happy you can start downregging.

MrsLondon, not much better. I started hallucinating from lack of sleep two weeks ago.  At one point on Monday, I thought I was losing my mind.  My baby keeps cluster feeding once a week for a couple of days since he was 10 days old.  Not enjoying it much.  I just wake up every day and I can't wait until the day ends, so it's one less day to be sleep deprived with a fussy baby with cluster feeding.  He is in the upper 95 percentile in height and weight. The GP and health visitor both said that his growth is massive compared to any other babies, which is why he is how he is.  I'm sad.  I enjoyed the first 10 days of my baby and I love him to bits, but I'm just looking forward to the day I can enjoy being a mother again.  It isn't PPD, as I still love him and I'm not utterly depressed, but I just wish my baby was happier.  Swaddling doesn't help.  He's so strong, he even breaks through a new Velcro one I bought!  I do burp him and have any reflux or gas under control.  I'm taking him to baby classes or out for a walk.  It just doesn't seem to help his fussiness.  He cries if he's not feeding or sleeping.  He's all checked out by GP.  He's 7 weeks now, so I think that's the issue.

Katfish I hope you're feeling better.  Did you go to the chiropractor?  I actually managed to have postnatal foot pain now. My feet entirely changed after birth


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## MrsLondon

MrsChef - you poor thing, you might not want to want to but have you considered formula? Even just topping up? It might help you a bit? Has he got a dummy? My early weeks with Annika were hard because she only wanted me to hold her but I was luckier than you because I did manage to go a while inbetween feeds. Have you got any help during the day? I'm always around (well for a few weeks anyway before I start back at work) and I'm just outside London so not too far. It does get easier, promise.

Love and hugs to you all. Xx


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## Katfish

Hello everyone! I'm sorry I haven't read back and seen previous messages and this message I pre-warn now is going to be a hard message to read! So please brace yourselves.

On Thursday the 17th November we where on our way back home from a meal out. Unfortunately on the way home both my husband and I had a very bad car accident. I was driving at the time and we went head in to another car. Luckily the other driver came away with only a few broken bones. Sean and Myself were a lot more hurt during this time! We have a lot of injuries and the biggest injuries was to our hearts. On Friday the 18th November at 1.15 our perfect beautiful little girl Flo was born sleeping she weighed only 685g!!!. At this point Sean and I where having life saving surgery. It is something so so hard for us to get our heads around and we are still in utter shock and unwell trying to get fit again in hospital. Fortunately although my womb was cut from the seat belt in many locations they have fixed it. I have lost one fallopian tube however both ovaries are still in tack and I'm believed to still be able to carry a baby once everything is healed! 

There is not one word I can use to  describe this feeling! I understand how hard it will have been for everyone to read this message and I'm sorry that I had to put you through it but you needed to know what happened! I really suggest to everyone two things in life! Firstly hug everyone close to you. They are amazing people. Secondly please make sure that if you have your other half as your next of kin then you ensure all of your close family have each other's contact numbers. And multiple numbers of your family written in your purse/wallet. We rely on our mobiles so much these days! Xxxxx


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## MrsRL

Katfish - I have just read your post and am in tears reading.  Words cannot express how sorry I am that this has happened to you.   I am absolutely gutted that this has happened. There are no words. You have absolutely no reason to say sorry for posting this. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we're here for you. I'm so glad you're both going to be ok, but very gutted about your little Flo. Flo sounds perfect. If you ever want to chat and it helps to come on here, please do. Take care of you and your DH at this very difficult time. Wishing you both a speedy recovery at least (physically, I know it will take longer emotionally after such a traumatic experience). I hope you are getting the support you need. I will be thinking of you. Sending much love to you both   xxxx


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## MrsLondon

Katfish I feel sick, you poor poor thing. I'm in shock and completely devastated for you. Please don't apologise, you are incredibly strong and the bravest woman I know. We are all here for you. I am so so sorry and shocked. I hope you and DH have a lot of support and if there's anything I can do please don't hesitate to PM me. Sending you so much love and hope for a brighter tomorrow. Your darling Flo will always be with you. 
Lots of love and hugs xxxx


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## mrschef04

Katfish- I am in floods of tears for you and your husband.  If there is anything I can do to help or if you need someone, PM me too.  I am grateful that you are both okay and Flo is in my thoughts.  Please take care of yourselves.  I hugged my small family thinking of you and your kind heart and how lovely you've always been.  I am here for you and thinking of you always.  I'm sending you hugs and I promise you, you will come out of this.


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## June2015

There are no words Katfish, except I'm so so sorry to read your news and am devastated for you and your husband. Thinking of you xxx


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## Stini

Katfish, I'm so, so sorry. In awe of how strong you sound. Sending you so much love. No other words, heart breaking for you. Xxxxxxx


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## Katfish

Thank you for all your messages personally I have no idea how I have managed to hold it together maybe just because it hasn't fully sunk in and the drugs are keeping me a bit high! Maybe it's because I am strong! But in fact I think it's most likely also because I'm making sure everyone is happy and everything is sorted! I have to be strong for my little girl! I'm managing more and more each day I am finding it easier and less exhausting to from my bed! (Saying these things they sound like how I should be coping not wanting to do things get out of bed to process what's happened to flo) however these actions are much huger, scarier, exciting, rewarding experience due to my injuries and I want to do them. Does that make sense?! The what I would be doing to myself if I didn't have broken bones. But the fact that I am having the sense of achievement for getting my self strong. Sean's wounds are gradually healing too! I don't know when we will be out of hospital yet though! But I'm being looked after by amazing nurses and I'm still managing to make people laugh both about things that happened at the crash And things I've done in hospital! Love to everyone I am sorry I brought down the tone on here! X x x x x


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## MrsLondon

Katfish - don't be so ridiculous! You have not brought the tone down one bit. I for one am glad to hear from you and know that you are doing better. You have definitely put things into perspective for a lot of us. You are incredible strong and you're completely right about everything you said. I feel privileged to know you even through this website alone. Your courage is inspirational. Do you get to be around Sean quite a bit?  Are you on the same ward? Do you have family around? Have the doctors given any indication about how long you'll be there? Sending you lots of hugs and love xxx


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## mrschef04

Katfish, don't be so silly!  The whole point of this forum is to say anything you are feeling with honesty.  That's why our group still stay in touch and it's also why we have such strong connections.  I also am so glad to know you and I am also so glad that you are both better and you are trying to get stronger.  If anything, you were utterly inspiring.  I did cry and I held both my husband and son and told them both I loved them very much.  I am always thinking of you and sending you hugs x  

AFM, I've started to exercise and my baby is huge.  Just over 7 weeks old and he's already in 3-6 month clothing and over 13 lbs!  He will outgrow his Moses basket in a week or two.  I had an emotional experience a few days ago.  My hubby couldn't watch baby for two hours while I went to my dance class, so our housemate was going to watch him.  She did, but after getting on the tube after I left, I started looking at photos of baby on my phone and the video of us playing that morning.  I had an absolute panic attack for the first time in my life and while I loved my baby, I realised the full extent of my love.  I turned back in floods of tears and arrived back within an hour at home.  I found my bond with him finally and there is just something between us now.


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## MrsRL

Katfish - it is so lovely to hear from you. As the others have said, don't be daft about bringing the tone down, you haven't at all. I know that none of us have met in person, but like Mrs London, I feel privileged to know you and the other lovely ladies on here. You are a very strong woman, and everything you said makes sense. You have definitely put things into perspective for me too, I often stress about the small things but that's achieving nothing at the end of the day, as you just don't know what is around the corner. I'm so glad to hear that you are being well looked after and that you're still managing to laugh. I was wondering the same things as Mrs London asked, are you and Sean on the same ward? Do you get to spend much time together? I'm so glad that you're both starting to heal physically and hopefully working towards being able to leave hospital. Have you got any idea when you will be out of hospital at all? I have been thinking of you a lot and will continue to do so. Take care of yourself. Sending lots of love xxxx

I hope everyone else is ok too xxx


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## MrsLondon

Hi gorgeous gals,

How's everyone doing?

Katfish hope you and Sean are getting better and would love to hear that you're out of hospital.

MrsRL how's the cycle going? Thinking of you and wishing you all the luck in the world.

MrsChef glad you've found that special bond and I hope things are easier for you now.

Catf how's little Scarlette? Bet you're excited for her first Christmas.

Hi to everyone else still reading this thread.

Love, hugs and baby dust to those who still need it xxxx


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## MrsRL

Hi ladies 

Katfish - how are you and Sean doing? I hope you are still continuing to make a good recovery and as Mrs London said, it would be lovely to hear that you are now out of hospital.

Mrs London - how are you? Are you ready for Christmas? Thank you for your lovely words and luck  I might need it!! I'm still DR at the moment but have my scan on Tuesday check my lining and see if I can start stims. I had my af/withdrawal bleed on 8th December and I'm still getting spotting now so I'm not sure if it's normal or not. They did say it could be longer than normal and different to normal. I was fed up waiting for af to arrive originally now fed up with it lol.

MrsChef - it is lovely to hear that you have found a special bond with LO, I hope things are going well for you.

Hello to anyone else reading.

Take care lovely ladies xx


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## Katfish

Hi everyone, I'm still in hospital at the moment they are planning home my wheelchair arrives tomorrow or Tuesday and I'm just waiting for home help to come through I'm not complaining and wanting to speed things up because Sean is still here! He had a set back on Wednesday and had to be rushed into surgery he is doing well again now though it's pushed his look at home and discharged back which is obviously upsetting! Hopefully it will not be too much longer and home will be in sight again for him! Hopefully they will allow him to mobilise again this week! To be honest each day is a struggle remembering what we have lost and what could have been with Flo! Sometimes I look at picture of her and videos of my bump with her kicking and it makes me smile other times it makes me cry but this is very normal! 
I do get to see Sean quite a lot prior to his set back I we met up in the hospital M&S for dinner too! Unfortunately we are not on the same ward broken bones are what's keeping me here so I'm in Trauma and Sean is now in vascular at the moment but will most likely be returning to surgical ward when they are happy! Both of our parents have taken over our house as mine are London and his Derbyshire and we live in Oxford.

MrsChef - it's a shame that you couldn't get to the class but really shows the bond you have with little Max now!

MrsRL - hope that the DR scan goes/went well! 

Thank you everyone for your lovely ongoing messages of support they mean a lot!  personally I will not be celebrating Christmas this year for obvious reasons so being out before or after really doesn't affect me but I would still love to wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy new year! X x x x 

P.s. Picture from the 1st December of me standing up! I was busy shouting at my mum to get my phone and take the picture already and to hold the phone higher as she always likes to take pics from bellow showing double chins haha! The male physio I accidentally flashed the first time I met him when hot from physio, exhausted, high temp and high on pain medication! Whoops!


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## MrsRL

Hi Lovely Ladies 

Katfish - it is lovely to hear from you. Sorry to hear you are still in hospital, but it sounds like you are continuing to recover and will hopefully be home soon. Sorry to hear Sean had a set back, I hope he is ok now and continuing to recover as well. I can understand it must be very upsetting for you. How is he coping with it all? It is totally understandable that everyday is a struggle, I cannot imagine what it is a like, but I am thinking of you both and Flo. It sounds like your parents are looking after you, will they be staying until you are both out of hospital? It's nice to put a face to your name with the photo. I'm sure the physio has seen it all before  Thanks for asking about the DR scan, it was yesterday and went well, I have officially DR! I have had a lower dose today and will start stims tomorrow evening. Thank you for the Christmas wishes, I can understand that you will obviously not be celebrating Christmas, but I hope you are out of hospital soon and start to recover well in the New Year. Wishing you all the very best xxx

Hello to everyone else, I hope you are all well.

AFM - as I said to Katfish above, I have officially DR, so start stims tomorrow. I'm off work now too so looking forward to having a bit of a rest, although there's still plenty to do around the house. I'm not really in a Christmassy mood this year as the treatment is the main focus, but will try to enjoy it. Take care ladies xx


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## mrschef04

Hi ladies!  Sorry I've been a little awol, but I was battling baby's first cold and it was a week and a half of no sleep!

Katfish, I'm glad you've kept us posted.  I'm so sorry you're in hospital still and also sending positive thoughts out to your Sean. I think of you every single day.  Thank you for the photo too.  It is great to picture you now.  How are you both coping with all of this, I have no idea, but we are here if you need us.  I really hope physio and recovery speeds up for both of you.

MrsRL-so glad you get to start stims.  Have a low key Christmas and focus on your treatment.  Fingers crossed everything goes well for you!

MrsLondon-hope you're well!

AFM- little Max is 10 1/2 weeks old and is already wearing 6-9 month clothing!  He eats like a horse and is still in the 95 percentile of height and weight.  I had a momentary freak out with breastfeeding and almost quit.  I thought I wasn't making enough, but it turns out that after taking the mini pill for a week, it killed my milk supply.  I stopped taking it and three days later, it was back.  The mini pill is supposed to be safe, but is IVF girls know that anything can affect our hormones!  In spite of me hating breastfeeding up until then, the idea that I couldn't do it anymore had me in tears.  I'm now enjoying everything as well for the first time.  I think it's also because my baby has settled especially during the night where he goes right back to sleep after a feed and he's smiling/chattering, we are in a routine and he now has adopted the habit of us having a long nap in the afternoon.  I've been back at the gym the last two weeks or so and I'm starting to feel less wobbly all over.  I don't think my baby will be sleeping through the night anytime soon.  He's still waking at 11pm, 1am, 4am, 7am, but I'm now getting so used to the sleep deprivation and it helps that I know that he will go straight back to sleep and when he finishes his 1am feed, he's in his bouncer due to reflux for the rest of the morning.


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## Katfish

Hello everyone, I was discharged from hospital yesterday afternoon! Unfortunately Sean is still in and we are hoping that it will not be for too much longer but only time will tell! They have managed to close his stomach now however having issues with it bleeding as it isn't actually stitched up! It's hard not seeing him or being as close to him anymore although in hospital ward terms we where ages away! The cost of a wheelchair chair friendly taxi is too much and it shall to a struggle to get into a car! The other hardest point about coming home which I hadn't even considered is the memories and plans we had! I've got my mum here until I don't need her any more and Sean's mum too! 

MrsChef it's funny how the body works to make us realise things we hadn't before!  Glad to hear that Max is doing well and your both enjoying an afternoon nap!

MrsRL fab news about DR i wish you all the best!


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## MrsLondon

Merry Christmas one and all, hope you've all had nice days given certain circumstances.

MrsChef- How was your first Christmas with Max? Bet it was really magical. I can't believe how big he is. Annika is almost 8month and she's in 6-9 clothes. 

Katfish - It's great to hear that you've been discharged but so sad that Sean still has a way to go. I'm happy to hear that you've got the support of your mum and Sean's at home to help you and wish him a speedy recovery.

MrsRL - How are the injections going? Easier than last time? 

I'm doing ok, Annika is finding settling at nursery quite difficult and today even though we had everyone round ours for Christmas she wouldn't let anyone hold her bar me and would scream if I left the room 🙈. She really is mummy's girl.

Hope you're all well and wishing you all the best for 2017
Xxx


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## Catf2008

Hello ladies

Sorry it's been so long since I last posted but time has been hard for us

Katfish - I'm so sorry to hear what's happened to you & Sean, I'm glad your now out of hospital & I really hope Sean joins you soon 

How is everyone else doing? Did you all have a good Christmas?

Afm - well my maternity pay has officially stopped so I'm now a stay at home mum with a couple of little businesses that I can do at home. Scarlett is still under care for her hips & we have another x ray next month for them, we had her hearing test on the 21st and she failed that again in her left ear, they think she just had glue ear but she could also have lost part of hearing but we have another test at the end of March to check it again. Things have been hard as hubby is struggling with the death of his dad, his now on anti depressants & having to go to mood & anger meetings, plus he will be having a one on one session as well, his whole family has fallen apart and his caught up in the middle. Scarlett had a great first Christmas & was very spoilt she has grown so much it's unbelievable and she is such a happy baby.


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## MrsRL

Merry Christmas lovely ladies x.

MrsChef - it's lovely to hear that Max is doing so well  It sounds like he has grown really well, can't believe how big he is! How was Christmas with him? It's great to hear that you're in a routine now  

Katfish - I'm pleased to hear that you have been discharged from hospital. Sorry to hear that Sean is still in there though. I hope he is continuing to recover well and that he can come home soon. I'm really glad that you have your Mum and Sean's mum looking after you and I will keep everything crossed for you that Sean is home with you soon. Keep us updated on how things are going.

MrsLondon - sorry to hear that Annika is finding it difficult to settle at nursery. She does sound like a mummy's girl  I hope you had a lovely first Christmas with her anyway. The injections aren't too bad, I look like a pin cushion and have had quite a few symptoms on gonal f. I was more worried about down regging but didn't find it too bad. Will update below.

Catf - it's nice to hear from you. It's a shame your maternity pay has ended but good news that you have some work you can do from home. How is it going? I hope Scarlett's scan for her hips goes well next month. Wishing her all the best for her hearing test in March too. Sorry to hear things have been so hard in particular for your hubby and you I'm sure, I hope things improve soon and that the treatment helps. It's lovely to hear that Scarlett had a great first Christmas and that she is a happy baby 

AFM - we had a quiet Christmas with my parents coming over to us. Today I'm on day 7 of stims and it's going ok so far, but I've had some symptoms such as headaches, bloated, twinges in the ovary area etc. I would say my symptoms are worse than on down regging but I seem to have my memory back at least, which was terrible on down regging! Today I've got my first scan appointment to see how things are going, so I will update once I've had it. We've arrived early so thought I would update on here. Our appointment is at 10.30, but they said it could be a long wait as 50 ladies have scans today so brought my kindle with me. Will update later. Take care ladies xx


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## MrsRL

Hi again ladies, I hope you are all OK. I just wanted to give you a quick update on my cycle as EC is now planned.

I'm on day 9 of stimms today and had my second scan today. All is well and EC is planned for Tuesday. I have to take my injections as normal tonight and tomorrow then my last day of buserelin is Sunday morning, with the trigger shot at 8pm on Sunday night. Monday is my drug free day and then I have to be at the clinic for 8am Tuesday ready for EC at 9am. I am quite nervous now for EC and waiting for fertilisation etc. I hope I'm not awake like I was last time as well! It's looking like I have 16 follicles at the moment, but a couple more that may or may not grow. As you know, I am egg sharing so hope to have a good number of mature eggs. I'm going to encourage the follicles with a hot water bottle this evening and the next few evenings. 

Wishing you lovely ladies all the best for 2017 and thinking of you all xx


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## MrsLondon

Happy new year lovely ladies 🎉🎊😘

MrsRL - 16 follies that sounds great!! Here's hoping and praying for a fab fertilision rate 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽. I too hope you're not up al night again worrying but it's only natural. Such a daunting experience, esp this time round when you're egg sharing. You're doing such a lovely thing for someone out there who will need the help of your eggs.

Catf - Sorry to hear DH is suffering from depression following the loss of his father. Time is a healer and even though it's probably not what anyone wants to hear in time hopefully the pain will slowly ease and life may be more manageable. Really glad that Scarlett is a happy baby and had a lovely Christmas. Hopefully 2017 will see her signed off for hip care and her hearing is A-Ok.

MrsChef - Did you go to Paris? Can't remember when you were going. Sorry if I've completely missed it or even if you haven't gone yet lol. Hope you and Max are both well.

AFM, as of Wednesday I'll be back at work fulltime  I'm very sad about it but the money will help and having Annika at nursery and with her grandparent later will probably help her be a little more social and less clingy. She's 8 months old today. Can't believe in four months she'll be a year!!! 

Wishing you all the best for 2017, love, luck, health, wealth and magic baby dust xxx


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## MrsRL

Happy New Year to all you lovely ladies   

MrsLondon - sorry to hear that you are having to return to work full time on Wednesday. I'm not surprised that you are sad   I hope it goes OK for you and it helps Annika to be less clingy and more sociable. I can't believe how fast time goes and that she will be a year in four months   How time flies!! Thank you, I'm hoping 16 follies does actually result in 16 eggs, as that would give us a good number, but we'll see!! Last time I was awake during EC, so hope I'm not this time! I'm trying not get too anxious about it all, but it's hard at times. 

MrsChef - if you are in Paris right now, I hope you are having a fab time!

Katfish and Catf - thinking of you both.

AFM -  I wasn't feeling too well with my asthma yesterday, as got a bit of a chill after walking the dog, so had a really lazy day after that! It was the last thing I needed when coming up to EC, so decided to take it easy! Thankfully after increasing my inhaler, I feel better today. I have done my last buserelin injection this morning so will trigger with ovitrelle at 8pm tonight! It's all starting to get real!! I hope you all had a lovely New Year's Eve or it at least went as well as it could, I was asleep at about 10.30pm, as felt so tired yesterday. I did almost see it in though, as fireworks woke me up just before midnight! 

Wishing you lovely ladies all the very best and all the luck and love in the world for 2017! Sending my wishes for health, happiness and lots of baby dust to those who need it!  It's lovely that we have entered another New Year and we're still in touch    xxxx


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## MrsLondon

MrsRL - Let us know how you get on. Xx


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies,

Just a quick update from me, 19 eggs were collected so 10 eggs for me as egg sharing. Not sure how many mature until tomorrow. Quite shocked by amount though. Feeling a bit tender and out of it as was fully sedated this time. Much better experience than last clinic! On my way home now. Love to all xx


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## MrsLondon

Wow that's amazing MrsRL good job!! Rest up and here's praying for a great fertilisation rate for you xx


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## MrsRL

Thank you Mrs London. I am getting anxious for the call tomorrow and feeling very tender and quite uncomfortable at the moment, so trying to take it easy. I will update following the call tomorrow. Good luck with work tomorrow, I hope it goes as well as it can.

How is everyone else? xx


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## MrsRL

Hi Lovely Ladies, sorry to be taking over this thread at the moment. I hope you are all ok.

I just wanted to update that I have had the call this morning and out of 10 eggs, they were able to inject 9 and 7 have fertilised normally. Pretty happy with that as last time we had 12 eggs and 8 fertilised normally so only 1 less with less eggs. Have to see if all of our vitamins have made a difference. We will get a call again on Friday to discuss 3 day or 5 day transfer. I'm leaning towards 3 day transfer, only because last time we only had 2 remaining on day 3 so a big drop off and worried we wouldn't get to day 5 due to male factor, but we'll see! I also don't do things easily as I did my first pessary this morning (cyclogest) and have a rash all over my chest and belly button so they had to get the doctor to call me back.   I've basically got to see how it goes particularly after the next pessary this evening and if symptoms worsen, I have to call and change to something else. He told me to take an antihistamine to calm the symptoms down and see what happens. He doesn't think it will be detrimental to any pregnancy either way. I remember having a rash last time, but don't think I said or the clinic at the time didn't worry. I thought I would definitely say so that it's on record anyway. There's always something!! I hope everyone else is well. Take care ladies xx


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## mrschef04

MrsRL- good to see that collection and fertilisation went well.  I hope the rash calms down soon for you!

Catf- I really hope things are a little better.  I'm so sorry you had to go through a few family troubles too.  It's not easy.  What will be the next steps for her hearing?  

MrsLondon- yes, Christmas was good, Boxing Day with in laws sucked.  But what can you do?

AFM- had a bit of an argument with MIL and am glad I have stood my ground.  Paris will be on 1st feb on my birthday.  Baby passport comes on Saturday.  My baby is getting even bigger.  He's 12 weeks and now in 6-9 month clothing now. I don't know how the heck he is growing so big!  We went to his baby Sensory and even my DH saw that he was bigger than any of the babies that were crawling.  Lol!  Our dude is just solid.  I'm already halfway through my maternity leave and whilst I have enjoyed it, I will be sad when it ends and happy to also have a life again outside of home.  I don't want to leave baby but I don't want to just have this either.  However, after the baptism by fire of being a mom, the last month my whole perspective on life has changed.  I no longer care about a lot of things as much now.  Even with my in laws, it's like having my baby made me stand up to them even more and most of the family conflicts I drew a line under almost immediately.  My main priority is now only my husband, my son, our home and my three brothers.  With the exception of a few close friends, I'm also less inclined to pursue a lot of outside interests so competitively and also am focusing on more enriching things.


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## MrsLondon

Great fertilisation rate MrsRL but sorry to hear about the rash. How is it today? Did you hear about your embies today too?

MrsChef - the joys of in laws hey! I was with mine Boxing Day too. #annoying!!

Really sorry it's such a brief messsge from me. Will try and write more over the weekend, it's full on being back at work and then having to come home and spend as much time with Annika as possible before doing more work when she's gone to sleep.

Love to you all xx


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies, I hope you are all ok. 

Mrs Chef - sorry to hear you had an argument with your MIL but glad you stood your ground! Bless him for being so big already  Can't believe you're half way through maternity leave already! Wow! Time flies!! Good news that you no longer care about some things and that you're doing what is best for you and your family 

Mrs London - I gather from your post you didn't enjoy Boxing Day with your in Laws then? Hope it wasn't too awful. How is it being back at work? I hope it's bearable at least!

Hello to everyone else.

AFM - my update this morning was a shock and still can't believe it, also very anxious now. Basically all 7 embryos are doing well and because they're all good, they would not have been able to pick the best one today, as none of them stand out. I keep wondering if they have the right person, as so different to last time! So now the terrifying wait begins for Sunday and just hoping we have something to transfer then! We have to be there at 10am, all being well! I honestly don't feel like we can get to day 5, but hoping and praying we do.    I did say my worries, but the embryologist said if we had transfer today, it would be such a random choice as all looking good. I guess another 2 nights of broken sleep are ahead of me! I'm also feeling uncomfortable still as I'm quite bloated, which I think isn't helped by the lovely pessaries and TMI windy too!!!   This happened last time, so glamourous isn't it!!   I really don't enjoy them!! I hope you are all ok. Sending love to all xx


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## mrschef04

MrsRL- that's crazy news but so amazing!  Holy crap, I hope it goes amazingly well for you..  it's funny, isn't it?  This infertility thing that no matter how bad your situation is, you just want everyone to do so well.  I am so happy that you get to try and have the best quality eggs and everything.  Fingers crossed that it all goes well and let us know how you get on!

Katfish-just want to let you know that I am always thinking of you.  I just want you to know that we are truly here for you if you need us.. xx

MrsLondon- yes, my MIL sucks, but now I just don't care.  What's funny now is that I see why everyone thinks a mother's love is so beautiful.  You spend 24-7 with this baby and you know exactly what it likes, when it goes to bed, when he is hungry/overtired, etc.  I have had lots of other women hold my baby, particularly other moms, and I just laugh to myself as they do things that I know baby Max wouldn't like.  Even my husband says I'm the only one baby will try and have full conversations with.  I really love him to bits.  Now, I just laugh at everything else that seemed so important before having him. I love being proved wrong!


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## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

MrsRL did you have the transfer today? How did it go? Did the embryologist have a few to chose from? So exciting!! Really hope the two week window is kind to you. Have you taken time off during it or will you be working? Everything ok with the progesterone too? No rash or anything? Yes Boxing Day wasn't the best would have been fine if we didn't have to stay the night there but DH wanted to even though we only live 30mins away. I don't particularly like my MIL, she means well and is a nice person but she just babies DH and annoys me.

MrsChef - its good that you can laugh about all the things from the past that used to be important. Your whole world shifts doesn't it and I think for people like us who have had difficulties even more so. How's it been with your step son and his mum? I remember there being issues with your MIL because of her in the past. 

AFM being back to work has been difficult. I wish I was able to have more time at home with Annika. Struggling with the work load too as I have so much to catch up with. It's like they were waiting for me to get back to do certain things. I'm sure as the weeks go by it will get easier but that said I'm not looking forward to tomorrow.

Katfish - thinking of you always. Hope Sean is home with you now. 

Lots of love xxx


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies,

MrsChef - it's lovely to hear the love you have for your son and that you can now laugh at all of the things that seemed important before. Thanks for your kind words, will update below 

Mrs London - sorry to hear that being back at work has been difficult for you. It sounds like they are putting stress on you if you have so much to catch up with. Was no-one covering it while you were on maternity leave? I really hope it does get easier for you soon. I can understand why your MIL annoys you if she babies your DH! I will update about today below  Luckily the progesterone seems ok touch wood and no rash can be seen. 

Katfish - as the others have said, I am thinking of you too. I think of you a lot and wonder how you are getting on. I also hope Sean is home now and that you are both continuing to recover.

AFM - I had ET today so I'm officially PUPO. It didn't go as well as I had hoped after such a positive day 3 update. Basically the embryologist said they weren't where they would like for day 5. We had one blastocyst which was borderline quality and 2 more that were slightly behind, but not good enough for freezing. The other 4 had stopped growing. We made the decision to have the blastocyst and one of the others transferred so ended up having 2 in the end. It was a bit disappointing, as was hoping for better quality and at least 2 blastocysts, but maybe they are slow growing. They will continue to grow the other one overnight and then let me know about it either way in the morning, but they didn't seem confident about having any to freeze either way. Although saying all that, we are just relieved to get to ET, as I was worried we would have nothing! I was awake most of the night worrying and felt so anxious about it  I really thought they might call this morning and say not to come in!! We have made the decision already that if this cycle fails, we will not egg share again, as due to the big drop off we really do need as many eggs as possible. The actual transfer went fine, so it's just a waiting game now. Unfortunately I am back at work tomorrow, but hope to leave early as I have an appointment for acupuncture. I have some leave Thursday/Friday for DH's birthday though, so at least it's a short week. I'm thinking of taking back time owed on the test day, as I know it was difficult last time when a bfn and if it's good news, can do something nice. I'm not feeling overly confident, but will try to be positive and do everything I can so I have no regrets. Take care ladies and thanks for listening xx


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## MrsLondon

Congrats on being pupo Mrs RL     . Really sorry it's taken me a few days to respond. How are you feeling? Nervous? Scared? Happy? Excited? Worried? All of the above? What was the update on the other embie that they were leaving until the next day? Don't worry about the quality of the ones they put back in too much because there have been plenty of women who have ended up with babies from embies that have been deemed as not top notch. Are you doing anything nice for DH's birthday? When is your otd? Glad your rash has gone. Re my work situ, they did have someone cover me but didn't want to put too much on her because apparently it wasn't fair grrrrr. Anywho the last few days have been better so hoping it's on the up. We're hear to listen anytime and thinking of you so keep us posted. 
Lots of love xxx


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## mrschef04

Hi MrsRL, fingers crossed and congrats on being pupo!  Hoping it all goes well for you!!  How are you feeling about it all?  The worst bit about all of it is the constant waiting...


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## MrsRL

Hi ladies, thank you for you lovely words and for thinking of me  

MrsLondon - glad to hear the last few days at work have been easier for you, I hope it continues. How is Annika with doing now you're back at work? I'm feeling quite anxious at times and nervous about what is going to happen, also thinking of next steps if this doesn't work! I know I shouldn't, but it helps me to cope and have a plan! Unfortunately although there were some changes, the other one was not good enough to freeze, so the embryologist said there's nothing for the long term but fingers crossed for these embies. I read something by Prof Winston that helped with embryo grades, as he said that grading an embryo as good or bad is as reliable as looking at a person you don't know and saying they are very intelligent or even very stupid, to later find out this was wrong. Time will tell anyway! My otd is 19th January, so just under a week to go. We're away for a couple of days for DH's birthday, as thought it would be nice to get away from it all. I wasn't going to symptom spot this time, but I have been symptom spotting, although there isn't much to spot really! I think any symptoms are from the pessaries anyway. I will keep you updated.  x

MrsChef - thank you, the waiting is a killer!! They do say it's the longest 2 weeks of your life and it does seem to go on forever. In a way it's nice to be in a bubble and not know, but in another way it would be good to know the outcome so we can move forward, whichever way that is! How are things with you? 

Katfish - if you are reading, I'm thinking of you too. 

Catf - how are things with you now? 

Take care ladies, love to all   xx


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## MrsLondon

Hi ladies hope you're all well,

Only three days til OTD MrsRL, so exciting. Hope you're keeping well and had a lovely time away for DH's birthday.

How are things with you MrsChef?

Katfish, hope to hear some positive news re yours and Sean's health. 

Catf - How's Scarlett doing?

Hi to anyone else who still reads this.

Lots of love,

Mrs London


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## MrsRL

Hi MrsLondon how are things with you? I'm going a bit crazy in the 2ww in all honesty!! I had some tiny spotting yesterday (7dp5dt) and panicked because last time I had spotting which turned into full blown af, as you may remember. TMI but it was 2 small spots of brown blood and I haven't had more since, so hoping it stays that way. Since then I have been on constant knicker watch! I'm considering testing from tomorrow to be more in control, as it's 14 days post EC tomorrow. Will see how I feel in the morning! We did have a lovely time away though, thank you. It was great to get away from it all. I hope all is good with you.

Hello to everyone else. Thinking of you all xx


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## MrsLondon

MrsRL - did you test early?? It's official test date tomorrow isn't it? I really really really hope you haven't had any spotting or anything worse. Thinking of you and hoping to hear good news from you. I'm doing ok, slowly getting into the swing of work. It's getting more and more familiar and Annika is settling better and better at nursery each time. My mum has her three days a week which helps too as she loves my parents. I've got to stay late at work tomorrow which means I won't see her at all apart from an hour in the morning which will be pretty tough. Have to get used to though, it comes with the job.

Xx


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies, I hope you are all well. 

Mrs London - glad your getting into the swing of work, it's unfortunately a necessary evil   It sounds great that Annika is settling at nursery and that she loves staying with your Mum too. I'm so glad it's going well. Sorry to hear you won't see much of her today, hope it goes ok and quick at least.

Hello to everyone else, thinking of you all as always xx

AFM - today is OTD and at the moment it's a BFP. We are very shocked, but trying not to think about it too much as we are terrified!! The clinic test was very light but the first response is much darker. I'm just so worried things could go wrong, but taking each day as it comes. Thanks for your support lovely ladies xx


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## mrschef04

MrsRL - thinking of you and hope testing is ok.  

MrsLondon - yes, I know how you are feeling.  I return to work in just 10 weeks.  Everything else has increasingly felt less important.  It's like baby, hubby and home are now and always will be number one.  My nursery has given my baby a place.  I've asked Work to work one day a week from home.  No answer yet.  At least I get to work modified hours to pick up and drop off every day.  It means I get 2 1/2 hours with baby in the morning and then 2 hours after pick up.  I am getting sad to leave my baby bubble and that I won't be with him through the day, but I'm also happy to go back to work.  I actually miss adult contact.  Something I just don't really get right now.  It's very bittersweet.  I may actually start weaning early at four months.  He still feeds every two hours.  The longest stretch I get is four hours and then feeding again every two hours.  He's so big, I know he needs more than milk. Any advice on preparing for nursery or weaning would be great. 

Hello to everyone else and thinking of you and Sean, Katfish xx


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## mrschef04

MrsRL- that's wonderful!  I gotta say, this board manages to keep on going!  Congrats and I fully understand being cautious.  If this keeps going, I have tons of baby clothes that I couldn't even use because my baby grew so fast!  I have everything crossed for you.  Get plenty of rest and try and relax (easier said).


----------



## MrsRL

Thanks MrsChef, any tips on how to stay sane? I'm very anxious xx


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## mrschef04

MrsRL, if you have the cash, get private scans done at 6 weeks and 9 weeks.  Then you will have the NHS one quickly.  Also, get to your GP asap for midwife referral.  The sooner you do, the sooner your appts will be.  Check out online reviews for your midwife too.  Putting baby down, so will write loads later xxx


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## MrsLondon

Whoooooooohooooooo MrsRL so so soooooo happy for you. Keeping everything crossed that it lasts     .  I agree with MrsChef if you can afford it have a private scan at 6 and 9 weeks. It really helps in keeping sane. Also I did join the early pregnancy board but then came off as there were so many women who unfortunately had bad news that I couldn't emotionally cope with it. Also don't panic if you don't get any obvious symptoms, I had a very easy pregnancy. I also wish I could have enjoyed it a bit more but that's the nature of our situation I'm sure. 

MrsChef lovely to hear from you and that Max has his nursery place. Early weaning sounds like a good idea, start with baby rice . You can still keep him on breastmilk if you want and express loads and give it to them. Otherwise just pick a formula and you're good to go. Has Max taken a bottle before? It might take a while. I was really lucky with Annika, she'd always take expressed milk from a bottle from an early age. When I moved to formula she was fine too but it took me ages to find the right one because of her reflux. The health visitor should be able to give you a lot of advice. 

Xx


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## mrschef04

MrsRL- I agree.  Don't symptom spot.  I didn't get much until I was almost 8 weeks.  The only real symptoms was sore boobs and tiredness.  I didn't throw up either.  So don't worry.  Also, are you in London or outside?  If in London, I highly recommend self referring to Guys & St Thomas.  They have a form and you can just email it and that's it.  No GP referral needed.  The care I got was amazing and the room was massive and private.  All midwife care was good except for an Appt incident.  Also, I didn't like the early scan board either.  It freaked me out.  Any questions about bleeding, let me know.  I bled through my first 12 weeks.  At one point, I thought I'd lost my baby as the bleed was so bad.

MrsLondon- yes, baby has been on aptamil anti reflux formula since 8 weeks.  I breastfeed about 11 times a day and then one formula (8 oz!).  He eats like a champ.  He's 14 weeks and 19 lbs (8.5 kg) and in the 97 percentile of height and weight.  There are 6 and 8 month olds in his play group and he could crush them! That's the main reason why I think I should start him on solids at four months.  He can almost sit up on his own, he's already dragging himself on his tummy and can hold himself on his legs well.  Funny as it sounds after I whined about breastfeeding, I've decided to breastfeed up to one year.  I'll express loads and do two bottles of formula, two bottles of express and then the rest breastfeeding.  My commute is ok, so I can breastfeed him until and at 8am and then get him breastfeeding again at 6pm.  He loves it more than formula.  I once gave him the Pepsi challenge while he was on a bottle and held him near my breast and he stopped, slapped the bottle away and latched on.  I can't believe how much I love my baby and being a mother.  I think it says a lot because I had a terrible abusive mother and was in a foster home at one point.  So I never had a role model of a good mother.  I look at my son and couldn't imagine being anything like my mother.


----------



## MrsRL

Thank you lovely ladies for the advice as always. xx I think I will be avoiding the early boards as it would freak me out! I'm bad enough anyway for analysing everything! 

MrsChef - thank you. I'm outside of London. My clinic do a scan at 6 weeks and if that's ok, the plan was always to have private scans at 9/10 weeks so would do that if we get there. It's great to hear you got such good care at Guys. My clinic also mentioned that bleeding is very common in early pregnancy, it must be very worrying though. It sounds like Max is doing brilliantly  So glad to hear breastfeeding is going well too. x

Mrs London - thank you. I wonder if any woman in our situation has enjoyed pregnancy, I don't think I will if I get further. It's such a worrying time. I hope staying late at work today hasn't been too awful. x

Katfish and Sean, thinking of you always xx Hope you are both continuing to recover xx

Hello to everyone else xx


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## MrsLondon

MrsChef - your message made me laugh out loud. The Pepsi challenge re boob vs bottle. Wish I'd done that now....maybe next time  . I'm sure you're nothing like your mother and in fact, I bet you're even better than most because of what you went through yourself. Wow Max does sound massive esp as Annika is near 9 months and weighs 21lbs. I can just imagine how strong he is. 

MRL - Are you near Oxford? Where did you have your treatment this time? I remember you changed clinics. Have you booked on your 6week scan? 

AFM I have some news....been keeping it quiet because I wanted to support MrsRL and also Katfish through her terrible time but think it's time that I share now. So in December I had a FET and am currently 9 weeks pregnant!! It's exciting and scary again at the same time. I know I'm in for a tough few years but I really wanted Annika to have a possible sibling close in age and also was panicking about taking time off for all my hospital appointments once I went back to work so I did it just before I went back. It happened so quick too. It was just shy of a month from my baseline scan to test date. I was totally not prepared for it to be so quick and I told no one that we were doing it. Whereas before all my family and close friends new about it. I just didn't want the pressure. It never gets easier. Anyway that's my news, didn't want to hide it from you all but there was more important stuff going on. Having a 9 week scan tomorrow so will find out more then.

Love to you all, Katfish thinking of you and Sean too xxx


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## MrsRL

Mrs London - you are very sweet! Huge congratulations to you. Very happy for you and think you have made a great decision to cycle so quickly and have a sibling for Annika. I hope your scan goes well tomorrow, keep us updated! Hopefully all being well we can support each other! It's so great a few of us have stayed in touch! I don't think the lovely Katfish has been on here for a long time, I often think about her  and do hope she is recovering ok still. I hope she feels able to come on here soon. Have you told family or friends your news yet? Yes I am near oxford, as that is where we did our cycle at OFU. They phoned me back yesterday and I have my 6 week scan booked for 2nd February! Very scared! I have to increase my pessaries to 3x a day now too! Lovely!! I'm still testing each morning as can't quite believe and want to see the line get darker! I hope all this is normal!! I also got the news that the recipient couple have some frozen embryos, so they can't use them until I have a blood test, which I will have in February when I go! They're just double checking for STI's etc. I think it's something they have to double check! I was originally tested for everything under the sun!! So happy for you Mrs L xxx


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## MrsLondon

Awww it's so nice to have some good news on here. 2nd Feb will be here before you know it. We looked at OFU too and actually it was one of our choices but went with the Lister instead. Just a quick one from me as I have a poorly Annika. Scan went well so all is on track for now. Hope all is ok for your recipient too. How much will you know about her treatment? Hope your test lines keep getting darker. Xxx


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## Katfish

Catf sorry to hear that things have been hard for you all but glad that you managed to still have a nice Christmas! Sorry to hear that her hearing follow up didn't go well!

MrsRL - wow 50 ladies that's crazy! I guess makes sense with the post Christmas rush! 19 eggs wow that's great no wonder you had some twinges! You had a great fertilisation rate too! When I had the second cycle they froze two one was a day 5 and the other a day 6! If it wasn't for the OHSS they wouldn't have frozen any and we where successful with Flo I think they used to day 6 one for our FET if my memory is correct! I'm very glad to hear about your BFP mine from the clinic was also very faint and took awhile to get darker! That's fab news! I managed to wangle a free scan at 9wks when at work which helped then we had the 12wk and I think it was a 15wk scan I paid for privately was deffo worth it! As I said before I went to the mothercare near your clinic and that was good not OTT prices either! My tip is also to have other tests at home as when I had a small bit of spotting I did a clear blue digital test which took a bit of the worry away! 

MrsLondon - how's it going being back at work? How Annoying that they left loads of bits for you last thing you need is a heavy workload! That's fab news about your FET congratulations!

MrsChef wow he is a big boy!

AFM - sorry (I know you will say not to be) that I haven't been on here you have been in my mind though! I will admit it is hard reading and makes me a little jealous but we would all be lying if we said we didn't experience this too at some point though our journeys! As well as jealously I'm also thrilled for you all too! 
Sean came out of hospital on the Friday before Christmas he had to go back in for one night on the 27th for a blood transfusion but he's been out since. We are both in and out of hospital like yoyo's for appointments and physio! Sean's walking around just about now! Long enough to make a cup of tea anyway! I had my hospital follow up for my broken bones last week and I'm now allowed to weight bare fully! I've been doing some stands and on Wednesday in my physio they are going to start me walking! I'm very nervous!!!!! Everyday is very hard full of regret, blame and what ifs! But unfortunately nobody can turn back time! It also the unknown as I still am not aware if anything is going to happen to me because of this! 
I have kept having UTI's and have been bleeding since the end of November I was worried and managed to get reviewed by Gynae! They eventually scanned me and have discovered that I have retained tissue (yeh tell me about it every thing I could have had happening I've had it) I will find out what they are going to do about it when I meet the person who delivered Flo next week! It's hard as the norm they are scared to do due to all the scar tissue! So it may be an op though may just leave it to continue to pass naturally! We will see!
So apart from the constant trips into hospital our days are filled with watching TV and Netflix and the occasional game thrown in! Plus the physio homework we have! 

Sending love to you all!


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## MrsRL

Katfish - it is SO lovely to hear from you. We have all been wondering how you are getting on and thinking of you lots. As predicted, of course you don't have to be sorry for not coming on here. We all think so much of you and although early days for me, I was worried about putting on here. It's totally natural to be jealous, I have been so many times and you have been through hell. You are such a strong woman and always ask after us and support us as well despite all that you are going through. So glad to hear that you and Sean are together now at home and that you are both on your way to recovering physically. Have you still got lots of support from family as well? Good luck for Wednesday and hope the walking goes ok, I can understand you being nervous as I'm sure anyone would be. If I could turn back time for you I honestly would, it is a cruel world at times, but I do believe you are strong and I hope beyond hope that one day in the not too distant future you will fully recover and get a happy ending. So sorry to hear you may need another op too, I hope it's not the case. Thank you so much for your lovely words too and I will be thinking of you doing your physio etc and wishing you and your hubby the very very best. Message me anytime you want a chat if you feel it will help you.   xx

MrsLondon - are you close to OFU then or nearer to the Lister? We chose the OFU as it's the nearest one to us so made it less stressful. I don't think I will know much more about my recipients treatment, only if there's a live birth, which I can find out a year after treatment! Sorry to hear Annika is poorly, I hope she is better soon! Glad scan went well, was it through your clinic or private? Is your next one 12 weeks?

Hello to MrsChef, Catf and anyone else reading. Sending love to all   xx


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## MrsLondon

Katfish so lovely to hear from you. You're often on my mind. So glad Sean is home with you know. Are your mums still around to help? Good luck for Wednesday I'm sure you'll do fab  . You're such a strong person and it's only natural to be jealous. The amount of jealously I had myself in the past was enough to keep me from socialising with some of friends who were pregnant or mums. I point blankly refused to go to anyone's baby shower. After everything you've been through you're entitled to it. I'm sure you'll get your happy ending soon enough.  

MrsRL how are you feeling? I felt a bit sick over the weekend but only mildly. Scan was private, NHS one will be around 12/13 weeks. I might wait until half term to avoid taking time off work. My booking in appointment is tomorrow. In the car we're closer to Lister not by much, but going into London in the car can be a nightmare. I think I wfound that Oxford, Hammersmith and one other were basically the same. I think they are under the same umbrella or something. This time round I drove every time except the day of transfer, the train was so much easier. Driving NIGHTMARE!!! Once I took Annika but she stayed in the car with my dad. Where do you live? I live in Herts but teach in Bucks. Does OFU have a board on here? I met a really nice girl who cycled with me on the Lister board. Our babies are a week apart. We met up before Christmas it was so nice to finally put a face to a name. Annika is much better today thankfully.

Hi MrsChef, Catf and anyone else still reading. I think about the rest of our group often and hope you're all well. Lots of love xxx


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## mrschef04

MrsLondon - congratulations!  Wow!  You've got stamina.  I couldn't even imagine concentrating on more than one child at the moment.  However, I'm just a week shy of 40, so I think that has a lot to do with it.  Sorry for the radio silence, but baby Max has had a week of growth spurts with 4 of those days he was feeding every hour!!!  Then, he got sick with a cold from Saturday again, so currently in the thick of the worst days of it and he will hopefully get better, but I'm just not getting any sleep.  I just can't wait until he's 2 years old.  The baby stage is just really frustrating and tiring.  

MrsRL - glad that things are moving along and you're getting all set up.

Katfish - I completely understand the jealousy.  I couldn't go on here for a while after my IVF round and after giving up on everything.  I couldn't even be friends with some people on ******** due to their pregnancies and births.  I just hope that you'll be able to get strong, heal and move on from this ordeal.  Please take the time to heal and we are here if you need us.


----------



## Katfish

MrsRL - we both have our mums here looking after us! It's driving me nutty though! I was thinking last night you may be the first on our board with twins! Not too long now till your scan!

MrsLondon - both our mums are here looking after us but it's driving me crazy but we also wouldn't be home without them either! I don't think OFU have a board on here I was with them! 

MrsChef - exactly I stayed off ******** for a long time I gradually have gone back on again but nearly every time I look on it I scroll past something which hurts and I stop but I still end up doing it again later on or the next day!


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## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

MrsChef - I know what you mean and I'm crapping it a bit but my theory was get the newborn and baby phase over and done with. Wow that's some growth spurt. Hope Max is giving you more sleep now. The first year they build up their immune systems so are constantly sick.

Katfish - glad your mums are still there. It's bitter sweet isn't it. Drive you mad but can't be without them. My parents are currently in with us as they've sold their house and haven't found anywhere yet.

MrsRL - Hope you're ok? Just a little over a week until your scan.

AFM - After Katfish's message to MrsRL I thought I'd better come clean with you all. My scans have showed two embryos with two heartbeats so at the moment it looks like I'm expecting twins. I'm happy, scared, shocked all at the same time. Not to mention worried about the extra risks and implications of a twin pregnancy.  But then I knew this could happen as we had two put back in. We had two with Annika too but one didn't take. I said on another board that I felt like a bit of a fraud. I was told by the NHS that they wouldn't fund anything for me as my chances were so low and now here I am with three out of four eggs collected that have resulted in pregnancies. We did have to have icsi so not sure if that made I difference too. It's still early days and so many receive bad news that I won't relax until I take the babies or baby (don't know what will happen) home. I'm sorry I didn't say anything, I just don't want to harp on about me when other people need more support. But then didn't want to keep bending the truth from you all. No one knows either apart from myself and DH. Haven't decided when to tell the family. So yeah that's me, promise that's it, no more secrets. I have my booking in appointment later. 

Lots of love xxx


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## Katfish

MrsLondon- oh wow twins good luck with your next scan I hope that all is well! You will have your hands extra full then! Don't feel like a fraud think yourself extra lucky! There is added risks with twins yes but many twins are born on time with no problems either. I know what you mean though you never will relax! I have no idea how I will cope next time! I will probs not be able to breath without worrying something is going to happen!


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## mrschef04

MrsLondon/Katfish- this is literally the curse with us gals with fertility issues.  It's peaks and troughs; sadness; happiness; fear and anxiety.  And personally, I think our emotions are way more intense and volatile than people who have no issues.  Whatever happens, we are here to be honest and support each other no matter what.  Btw, I am sorry I'm going on about baby Max, but it's been a lot harder than I thought it would be.  The sleep deprivation hit hard and except for DH, I am doing this on my own.  No parents or family to help and no friends that have kids.  So it's been a bewildering and exhausting journey for me.  

MrsLondon- twins!  I don't think I could handle that!!!


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies,

MrsLondon - wow! Twins!! I bet that was a shock for you, huge congratulations though! It just shows they really don't know if the NHS weren't willing to give you a chance!! All being well it will be a handful for you, but what a wonderful problem to have!  I hope they both continue to grow well, when is your next scan? Will you be scanned more with twins? How did your booking in appointment go? I haven't told my gp yet and can't decide whether to wait until after the 6 week scan all being well. I don't really want to say before! I hate my doctors as well so doesn't help! I can imagine driving into London is a nightmare, I also hated the train/underground though during my first treatment and wouldn't have gone with that clinic had I have known they were in with London. OFU does have a board on here but it's very quiet. I posted in there originally but it didn't really take off and I was a bit worried about it due to egg share as could end up having recipient on there, not that I would know! They've also started doing meet ups through the infertility network. How lovely that you got to meet someone from the Lister in person! Maybe one day we will all meet up! You never know! I live in Bucks, where abouts do you teach? Feel free to PM to tell me if you would prefer. Have you had many symptoms so far? I've already had a few even though it's early days, I'm meant to be 5 weeks today by EC, but terrified to think it! I still can't bring myself to believe it!! Tmi but I've had these horrible sicky burps that only seem to stay away if I snack a lot, I'm very very tired, particularly in the evening and quite bloated too. I hope these are good signs. Glad Annika is better 

MrsChef - I'm with you on social media, I've had to hide people in the past because it was so upsetting. I won't be putting anything on social media anyway. Feel free to talk about little Max anytime! I can imagine it's hard without the support but you're doing great! 

Katfish - glad you have your mums looking after you, although I know what you mean, you probably get on each other's nerves! I don't think mine will be twins, judging by the clearblues and other pregnancy tests, as I think it would be stronger! Keep away from social media if it upsets you, I find it hurts on there at times and I've hidden people from coming up on my timeline on **!! Good luck for tomorrow and walking, you will do great  

Take care lovely ladies xxx


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## mrschef04

MrsRL- notbto raise your hopes, but that's a really good sign to feel sick unless you're snacking.  They say that if you have that symptom, it means the hormones that protect it are increasing well.

Also, just wanted to say something that no one knows but you guys. Not a day goes by where I don't look at my son and I say a silent thanks with tears in my eyes.  Every single day since he was born, I am absolutely thankful and I think of how lucky I am. I will never take it for granted or throw it back in someone else's face.


----------



## MrsLondon

Hi ladies, MrsRL I'll PM you later. Hope you're feeling less sick but it's good to feel something I know. I've basically been ok. I'll update below. Sorry to hear that you hate your docs, I'm quite lucky mine is really nice, not nice enough to prescribe me cyclogest though  . Yeah maybe wait until your scan, I didn't as i wanted to get my hcg levels checked. 

MrsChef, I hear you girl. I'm the same, every night when I put Annika to bed I give her an extra squeeze and tell her how much I love her. How's Max? Has his feeding settled down? 

Katfish, thanks for your kind words, I know you'll make an amazing mum someday. How did your appointment go yesterday?

AFM - had my booking in appointment and all went fine. Scan booked for the 13th Feb when I'll be 12w5d as I needed it to be half term so I didn't have to tell work yet. The midwife laughed when I said I have an 8.5 month old and am expecting twins. After the 20 week scan I'll be scanned every four weeks to check the growth all being well. Oh and just as Annika was getting better she projectile vomited everywhere last night   my poor little baby.

Xx


----------



## Catf2008

Hello ladies 

I'm so sorry I've been awol just had a lot going on. 

MrsRL - huge congratulations, I hope you are feeling well, I'm so glad this round worked for you 

MrsLondon - huge congratulations, in my eyes you are very brave as even if it was an option for us there is no way I could ever have another baby this close to having Scarlett. 

Katfish - it's lovely reading your posts, I've been thinking about you ever since i read what happened to you, fingers crossed you will both keep going from strength to strength 

AFM - life has been mad for us, hubby is still trying to deal with the death of his dad, his just completed his 6 week group therapy & his now about to start his one on one, im hoping this will help him. Work from home is proving a great success the businesses have started to pick up and I hit my first promotion today which means my commission goes up. Scarlett is a little madam due to her being breech & having a shallow hip when born, we have had a lot of appointments, this also meant we couldn't do tummy time as a newborn so at 9 months old she still screams when on her tummy & shows no signs of crawling, we have her next appointment in a May and if she is walking hopefully we will get signed off if it's showing no signs of having a problem. I know someone asked about her hearing, we have another appointment booked for March and they will make up their mind what they want to do then, it could be they do nothing and we have to help her deal with the fact that she can't hear properly in one ear but we won't know till March. On a happy note we have our first family holiday booked for March and we are off to Disneyland Paris for 3 days


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies,

Catf - lovely to hear from you  Thanks for the congratulations. Sorry to hear life has been a bit mad for you. I hope your hubby found the group therapy helpful and finds the one on one helpful too. So glad to hear work from home is proving a great success and that you have had your first promotion. What kind of thing are you doing? I hope Scarlett's hearing check in March goes well and her hip appointment goes well in May too. Your holiday to Disneyland in March sounds fab, have a brilliant holiday!  

MrsChef - aww such lovely words about Max 

MrsLondon - hope you're ok, have been talking to you anyway 

Katfish - I hope you are ok and still continuing to recover. You and Sean are often in my thoughts 

Hello to anyone else reading.

AFM - my scan yesterday went well and we saw a heartbeat, it is just the one in there. Obviously it is very early days, and we are back again in 2 weeks for another scan when I should be 8+2. xx


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## Catf2008

MrsRL - so glad the scan went well and glad that you got to see a heartbeat.  I'm a distributor for Juice Plus and helping people to lose weight and get healthy


----------



## Little Small

Anyone know where I can find some fabulous ladies?? I seem to have mislaid some ....  ❤😘❤


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## MrsRL

Thanks Catf. So pleased to hear your business is going well anyway, good luck with it all. 

Little Small - so lovely to hear from you. How are things with you? 

xx


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## Catf2008

Little small - how are you?


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## mrschef04

MrsRL-glad the scans went well and it's great you have another one in two weeks!  Isn't it crazy when you see the heartbeat?

Catf-I'm so sorry that things have been tough lately.  Sounds like she's resilient though and things like this can always get better too.

Little Small- how have you been?

AFM- baby went on his first flight and first trip.  No crying at all and he was quite chilled.  I have to say my vibrating pillow, cozydream and the travel pram really helped.  MrsRL, I've got a list of things that I couldn't live without that I should give you.  I'm getting nervous about sending him to nursery in two months.  I have already been in tears each day over it.  Baby has had a nasty cold.  This time it's going on over two weeks now.  My body doesn't seem to have corrected itself yet, but I'm hoping for the best!


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## MrsLondon

Mrs Smaaaaaaaaalllllllll how the devil are you? So lovely to hear from you, how are things mummy?

Catf - glad to hear working from home is going well. I wish I was able to do something like that. I hate being at work full time. HATE IT. Really hope Scarlett's hearing check goes well as well as her hip check too. Is she pulling herself up or showing any signs of walking yet? I know it's still quite early. Annika has just started to crawl maybe only two weeks ago. Really sorry to hear that DH is still finding it hard but glad the therapy is working. My husbands father died 8 years ago and he still hasn't dealt with it properly. I wish he had spoken to someone at the time. Your holiday sounds great. I'm sure Scarlett will love it. Thanks for the congrats, I know it's crazy but the method behind my madness is having them close in age will hopefully make things easier in the long run. Also Annika was such a difficult baby that I feared that was she got older and eaiser I might be too comfortable to go through it again. Ask me again this time next year and I'll probably say something different 😂.

MrsChef - Glad you had a lovely holiday and sorry to hear about the cold. It's really emotional when they start nursery and you go back to work. I've been back 5 weeks now and it's gotten a little easier but not a lot and I still desperately miss her all day long. Just cherish the time you have two months is still some time away and Max will have developed so much in that time. 

MrsRL - I inboxed you earlier today 😘

AFM - bloody exhausted, 12 weeks on Wednesday but scan isn't until the following Monday as I didn't want to take time off work as they don't know yet so fingers crossed all will be ok. I'm actually going to bed now, as I can't keep my eyes open 😂 Night night lovely ladies xx


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## MrsRL

Hi Lovely Ladies!

MrsChef - glad you had a good holiday and Max was chilled on his first flight. Sorry to hear he has a nasty cold. I can understand it must be very emotional thinking of him going to nursery, I hope you can really enjoy the next 2 months and that Max gets on really well at nursery. Will you be working full time? It was a bit mad seeing the heartbeat, we were both in shock as thinking the worst, it seemed to take her ages looking at the screen!! I just hope the heart is still beating away nicely. The 6 week scan didn't really look like anything so will be interesting to see what the 8 week scan looks like.

Mrs London - sent you a message back 

Hello to Catf, Katfish and Little Small xx


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## mrschef04

Thanks MrsRL and MrsLondon, yes, it will be full time.  I've requested to work from home one day a week, but I don't expect much. MrsLondon, just tell me that baby remembers you. I'm so sad.  My DH however is interviewing for jobs and he hinted that he will try and get a salary that would allow me a four day work week instead. I'm really hoping for it!


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## MrsLondon

MrsChef yes the baby remembers you  . I was the same, and dropping Annika off to nursery I would cry as soon as I got into my car. I leave her from around 7.45-4.00 each day and her face when I come home melts my heart. She gets so excited. So don't worry. 

MrsRL. Hope you got my message yesterday and you're feeling better re chickenpox? 

Hi to everyone else 

Xx


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## Catf2008

MrsLondon - I didn't think I would be able to do it but it's amazing how easy it is and just how freedom it's giving me. On Monday Scarlett was showing now signs of crawling etc but today she is now rolling onto her front pushing herself and trying to move her legs so she is on her knees, so I'm wondering if we might get a crawler soon.

MrsChef - well done for taking baby on his first flight, I don't think I could do that. Fingers crossed for you that hubby gets a new job so that you only have to work 4 days a week.

Hello MrsRL katfish & little small

AFM - Scarlett cut her 3rd tooth this week, we now have 2 at the bottom and 1 at the top and the second one at the top is close to cutting now. Scarlett loves her food and we've only found 1 think she doesn't like so far, I'm suffering with a terrible cold but seeing Scarlett every day makes it so bearable. We're looking forward to our holiday and i can't wait to see her little face with all the colours.


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## MrsRL

Hello Lovely Ladies, hope you have all had a great weekend so far 

MrsChef - I hope you are able to work at home one day a week. I hope your DH finds a new job soon that allows you to work 4 days, that would be great 

Catf - it sounds like Scarlett is doing brilliantly and great news that she loves her food. Your holiday should be fantastic 

Hello to MrsLondon, Katfish, Little Small and anyone else reading xx


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## MrsLondon

Happy Valentine's Day lovely ladies  

Catf - How's Scarlett getting on with her crawling, I bet she gets there, she's already got the provisions in place. Hope you're cold is better too? Annika made me a Valentine's card at nursery and even though it's just blobs if paint splattered on a heart I love it.   How has Scarlett been with her teething? Annika has the top four and bottom four and wasn't too bad with them, esp as they all came pretty quick of each other. 

Hi to everyone else, MrsChef hope you and Max are well.

xx


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## mrschef04

MrsLondon, thanks for the encouragement.  The nursery that he's going to is really amazing anyway and they do have a music man and a zoo man that visits every week and it's two babies for each carer.  It also has gotten really great reviews in the last few months for quality of care and I know it would be so good for baby anyway.  To be honest, keeping him entertained can be tiring, so I think the nursery from 6 months is a good idea.  I've upped my Creche visits at the gym to five 2-hour visits a week.  It's been good for him and me because then he is getting used to being in a nursery environment early on, so he's starting to understand how to self settle and it doesn't phase him in any way that I hand him over to others.  He only cries if he's hungry or overtired.  And when I get back to him, there is nothing but smiles and laughs and nuzzles.  He has started to laugh so much with me too.  We swim together four times a week and he is a true water baby.  He's already starting to try and breathe in the water.  He's a determined little soul be still really sensitive.  I love him to bits.

I requested my day off once a week for work.  My hubby smashed his recent interviews and we are confident that he'll get it with the salary he wants.  Plus with his TV coverage on BBC, he's getting extra work.  I'm still sacrificing monthly mani/pedis and ant expensive clothing or meals (not that I ever spent much on clothing), and bringing my lunch and coffee to work every day, but the budgeting is worth it.  I'm going to work Mon/Tues and the off on Weds and the work Tbur/Fri.  I'm waiting for work to come back with new arrangements.  I feel bad asking for modified hours for nursery pick ups, expressing my milk facilities and now a day off work, but my son has become the most important thing in the world for me.  I can't believe how much it has changed me.  His importance frightens me and makes me feel extremely blessed at the same time.  My little less than 1%.

I can't wait to get my first card from little Max.  He's such a happy chap and beautiful bloke.  

Catf, I hope things are okay for you? Scarlett sounds like she's doing well.  I had a few physical issues when I was born and was slow with crawling myself, but I'm a retired professional athlete with scoliosis, so things always work out.  

MrsRL- how are things getting on?  Keep us updated on your scans! 

Hello to everyone else out there!  Sorry I've been a little silent, but I've been getting over baby's max's sleep regression! Oof!


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## MrsRL

Morning lovely ladies  

Mrs Chef - your son's nursery does sound amazing, I hope he has a lovely time. It sounds like you are making a good decision to drop one day a week. Good for your hubby too doing so well with the interviews  So cute that Max is laughing so much, he sounds like such a happy baby! Don't feel bad about your work, Max comes first now 

Mrs London - sent you a message 

Katfish - how are you getting on?

Catf - I hope things are ok?

AFM - I had my scan yesterday at 8+2 and all was looking good. I was measuring 8+3 and there was a nice strong heartbeat, it was amazing how different it looked to the 6 week scan! BUT it certainly wasn't without it's drama though and was very stressful because my ovaries are still very enlarged and she could see lots of free fluid and worried about ectopic (I had 2 transferred). We were there for ages and had to wait ages for another scan and second opinion, they were happy it wasn't ectopic and was free fluid due to the number of eggs I had (19), but we were both so terrified! Not what I was expecting really and so much for not getting stressed. They are confident the fluid will go on its own once the hormones calm down and the placenta takes over. It really dampened the experience though as you can imagine  I knew what it meant if it was ectopic, as it would mean losing the healthy one! Also was worrying that it was my ovary area, so all sorts were going through my mind, such as would I lose an ovary if it was etc. I'm seeing the midwife for my booking in appointment today, hopefully that will be more positive. Take care lovely ladies xx


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## mrschef04

MrsRL-glad things are ok and you got a second opinion.  I know, I got frightened about an ectopic at six weeks.  It just seems the worry goes on until 20 weeks, but just see each step as another conquered and keep yourself busy and eat well!  I've got my fingers crossed for you every step of the way!


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## MrsLondon

MrsChef - you sound like you're doing an amazing job and have got it sussed for when you go back to work. You're 100% right, Max is the most important thing in your life and work will have to come 2nd now. That's the attitude I have. I've always gone above and beyond what was required of me at work, but now I don't care, Annika and my future babies are my life and as horrible as it sounds the kids I teach are other people's children not mine so I will never put them first as opposed to my own within reason of course. Your DH sounds like he's doing well. I'm so envious that you're married to a chef. I'm such a foodie and my DH HATES cooking.

MrsRL - Hope your booking in appointment went well? Hope you got my message? 

Hi to everyone else. Thinking of you all.

Xx


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## Katfish

MrsRL - I had sickness feelings a few days post transfer. I had the transfer on the Friday and the Wednesday I was feeling so sick. I had to snack all the time to stop it too! Congratulations on the scan you must be so so pleased! It's so hard not to shout it from the roof tops! Are you paying for the 8+2 scan then? It took the lady who did ours awhile and it's because they are checking if there is more than one in there or not! I do think she told us this though at the time. 
Your scan sounds very stressful! Hopefully like they have said it will reduce once the placenta takes over.

Catf- I hope that the appointment for her hearing goes well this month.

MrsChef - I looked after some twins for a lady she was actually also IVF she bonded really well with the little boy but struggled to bond with the little girl. One day some friends took them out and when they came back the little girl was so excited to see her that he heart just melted and created the bond. Oooo TV coverage?! Congrats on his job! And that you will be able to go down to two days a week. 

Mrs London - I hope that your 12wk scan goes well!

Sorry guys that I have been away for a long time this last few weeks have been very hard. Yesterday would have been my due date which is very hard to come to terms with too! I have started walking and we have moved back upstairs in the house. Initially I was having to go up and down on my bum because I couldn't walk and couldn't do stairs but now I'm walking and able to do stairs it's much easier. My bums definitely feeling better about it. I have no idea how as a child I used to find it so fun!
I still get exhausting not doing much at all and need to sit down but it feels good walking. The last two weekends we have spent without parents and it's just been the two of us. It's also been very stressful recently as Sean has had to have multiple hospital re-admissions and now is having to go in once a week for fluids to keep his blood levels correct. However he's also looking at going back to work on reduced hours soon. We are very gradually getting there physically.
Unfortunately we still haven't been able to put our little Flo to rest yet but we are going to start making plan now that we are fitter.
I am thinking of you all, all the time and wishing you all the best. 
I had an interview with the police and now awaiting the verdict of what's going to happen. Each day I feel guilt about what happened. Though they are looking into fowl play from the driver that I was over taking who may have sped up. I have mixed feelings about this and will just have to wait and see what happens. 
I struggle to get to sleep most nights as I have flash backs but I hope this will gradually calm down as things become less raw. At the end of the day it is something that I will never forget and it's something that I have to come to terms with. I have a councillor who does help me put things into perspective.

I will get replying my PM's soon.


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## Little Small

You are one amazing woman Kitty Kat .. I am in awe of your physical and mental strength.  Thinking of you and all you wonderful ladies on here.

I'm laying in bed with my Evie, 6 1/2 months old now and she is just a joy.  I still cry sometimes if I'm honest, we feel blessed. She laughs at everything, has an amazing sense of humour and covers me in milky vomit at least twice a day.  I've been lucky enough to take the full year and she starts nursery in September, I'm sure Evie will love it but I can't help feeling a little sad. Am making sure to enjoy every single minute now.

Big hugs to you all, I wish everyone very very much good health and happiness xxxxxx


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## mrschef04

Hey little small!  Good to see you and hear the news!  I know what you mean!  I've never looked so pasty and tired in all my life, but I love it!  Attaching photos of my baby Max too.  My maternity leave finishes in just two and a half weeks and baby will be only six months.  I'm sad I could only take six months off and although I'm savouring every minute, the compromise is that I am just waiting for the request from work to go through, but I will be only working three days a week for good.  I just couldn't handle seeing baby only two hours and 45 min a day during the week. It would kill me.  If it's not approved with work, then I will find a new part time job.  The good thing is that my hubby managed to secure a new role to do this, but also we are going to live pretty frugally and no more dinners out or mani/pedis, but he's a chef, we both cook well and I'll do my nails at home.  I'm just happy that while I won't get the full year, I get to hang out with him four out of seven days a week for the rest of his life.  He totally flipped my world upside down.  It was exactly like everyone says it is.

Katfish, I'm so sorry you are still going through all of this.  You are being quite strong through this.  I know how difficult it must be.  I couldn't even imagine.  I just hope that the counselling will help and you and your hubby will be able to move forward.  Whatever happens, we support you on here through everything.


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## Katfish

Little Small Evie is so beautiful your very luck to have such a happy little girl! Cherish every moment!

MrsChef - I had a trauma follow up yesterday and the phycologist spoke with me afterwards and he says that it's very normal all the feelings that I am going through and they don't feel like they need to give me any more support than I already have.


AFM - in my Trauma follow up yesterday I discovered that my pelvic MRI to check that my uterus has fully repaired is on the 20th March. They have added in an extra one for the knee that I broke because of the ligament I tore needs to be checked. There is a very small chance that I may need to get it operated on. Which hopefully I will not need and they doubt it too! My knee is quite unstable so it better to keep my brace on to stop it from giving way and then breaking another bone. I will hear back about the Pelvic MRI on the 3rd April.

I have this photo on the lock screen of my phone and it makes me smile so much and think of my beautiful Flo. It's amazing how we can make something so so perfect and so so precious out of one tiny little embryo. 

Love to you all!


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## MrsLondon

Little Small - Evie is absolutely gorgeous!! She has such a beautiful smile. Glad you're able to take a full year off with her. It will be hard going back to work but as you said I'm sure she will love nursery. Annika still cries when I drop her off but she does enjoy it.

Katfish - lovely to hear from you and what a beautiful photo. Made me well up. Really hope you receive some good news re your MIR and so happy to hear you're walking again. Hopefully Sean will keep getting stronger and stronger. 

MrsChef - I couldn't see any pics of Max, did you attach them? So happy that you'll get to work three days a week and that everything worked out with DH's job. I know you'll savour every min with Max before going back to work and as you said three days is ideal. I hope to go back part time after the twins but will have to see what the head says.

AFM - had my 16 weeks appointment with the midwife on Thursday and got to hear both heartbeats which was reassuring. Have my first consultant meeting on Tuesday so will see what that's all about. 
Love and hugs to you all. Xxx


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## mrschef04

Katfish- I'm glad you're getting the help you need.  Your photo made me cry too.  I'm always giving you virtual hugs and think of you all the time.  

MrsLondon- so happy for your scans and things are going well.  Yes, go part time.  The childcare costs alone for three children would be worse otherwise.  I think it's the real reason why we want to all have more children.  Lol!

AFM- baby Max is settling into his naps and night routine now.  He's teething a little bit and has his third cold.  I hear back from work about my proposal to work part time either tomorrow or Tuesday.  Either way, I'll be in tears with the result.  It's made me very nervous going back to work.  I'm definitely an 80s child and see the benefit of working part time with a child.  I'm afraid I don't believe in the have it all lifestyle and I think as my child is older, I will feel even more needed.


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## mrschef04

Another photo with hubby


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## Katfish

Sorry to bring you to tears! I was mixed feelings about adding the photo! I've not sent a single photo to anyone apart from this one and actually made my mum delete and send me the photos that she had which I hadn't been aware of her having. Sounds stupid but it's the only way I can protect my little girl by having full control of them. it's a very weird feeling at times I'll look at the pictures and cry and other times I'll smile. Sometimes it will stop those tears that are in full flow and others it will make them come down even harder. 
The DH admitted to me that yes he's upset about it but he doesn't feel as though he has strong feelings of upset about Flo. It's understandable because and like he said a bond between a mother and her baby happens when the baby is in the womb as their inside the mother and she is who feels all the movements etc. However a fathers bond initially is just the idea of having a baby to begin with and normally only comes out when the baby is born. He's obviously very upset by it just not in the way a mother would be.


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## Katfish

MrsChef Max is so scrummy


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## MrsRL

Morning lovely ladies! Sorry I've been awol! 

Little Small - Evie is beautiful! Lovely smiling photo  glad you are doing well and it's great that you can have a year off with her. Although it will be hard, I'm sure she will love nursery. 

Katfish - so lovely to hear from you. Such a beautiful photo too xx. Wishing you all the best for your MRI on 20th March, I hope it brings good news. I hope you don't need to have an op on your knee. So pleased to hear that you're recovering and able to walk now. I hope that Sean continues to recover well too. Sorry to hear you haven't been able to put Flo to rest, I hope you are able to soon xx. I can't imagine what it must be like for you having flashbacks etc, I hope the counselling is helping you. Take care of yourself and we're always here if you need us. 

MrsChef - Max is gorgeous!  He looks like such a happy baby too  I hope it's good news from work following your proposal, it will be great for you to work part time. I can understand you wanting to do that completely. I wouldn't want to work full time with a baby either. 

Mrs London - will reply to your PM soon  

Hello to anyone else reading! 

AFM - I have my 12 week scan tomorrow, getting very nervous about it! Have no real reason to be but it's very nerve racking! At least it's early in the morning so get it done! I will be exactly 12 weeks tomorrow all being well. We had a private scan at 10 weeks and all was well at that, but it doesn't ease the worry that much. The thing that was the biggest relief was that my ovaries did not have any fluid and  although the left one was still large, it wasn't a concern as that had the most eggs. I will update you all after my scan. 

Take care ladies xxx


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## MrsLondon

MrsChef - love the pics of Max, he seems like such a happy baby. So cute. Did you hear back from work? What did they say? It's funny because I was quite career minded before I had Annika and now I couldn't give a monkeys.

Katfish - don't apologise, it's a beautiful picture and I completely understand why you would be protective over the photos. All the feelings you have are normal and I'm sure it's the same for Sean. I still think you're superwoman and stronger than I could ever be. 

MrsRL - I messaged you back, good luck tomorrow.

Just tried to send you all a picture of Annika but it wouldn't post as it said the file was too big? It was just from my phone so not sure why it wouldn't work?!

Xx


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## Katfish

MrsRL thank you and I hope that your scan went well! 

MrsLondon thank you! I have to email the photo to myself off my iPhone and select the option to send it as a small size which means it's bellow the size they want you to add on here. Save the photo from the email and it will attach fine! It's so annoying you have to do it like that!

I'm pretty nervous about my MRI because I'm panicking that some of the metal that's now inside me is going to end up being magnetic after all. They have told me it's all Titanium which isn't magnetic but doesn't make you feel that better about it all. 
I've heard back a bit from the police and they are looking at giving me a charge which will mean that I will have my driving license taken away from me. I'm so devistated because it removes all of my independence away from me and getting to and from work is going to be extremely hard now. Plus moving house will definitely be off the cards with it too! So I'm really struggling to come to terms with everything now.
Tomorrow we will be going to a place to make plans for Flo which is going to be very hard but it needs to be done.


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## mrschef04

MrsRL - how did your scan know?  I know the scans never ease the worry, but I think they just stop you from having a complete mental breakdown, if you know what I mean?  Fingers crossed honey!!

Katfish - ah crap!  I've lost my license once, so I understand.  I reckon you'll have to get a scooter or bicycle when you're better.  I hope your MRI goes well and that it's better news than you think.  

MrsLondon - the talk with work didn't go well.  Ended up putting my notice in and will look for a new job anyway.


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## MrsRL

Hi lovely ladies, sorry I've been rubbish about updating in here. Thank you for asking after me. Will update below.

Katfish - sorry to hear that you're nervous about your MRI, I'm sure it will be ok as they must know what they're doing xx. Sorry to hear that your license will be taken away, that's crap. You are going through enough as it is. I hope it goes as well as it can sorting plans for Flo. Sending hugs xx

MrsChef - sorry to hear the talk with work didn't go well. I hope you manage to find a new job. x


MrsLondon - thanks for your message, will reply later. It would be lovely to see a photo of Annika  

My scan went well on Tuesday, I was exactly 12w but measuring 12w4d. They said everything was looking good and I've just got to wait for the downs bloods to come back now. If I don't hear by the end of the week due to a problem, I will get a letter with the results in a couple of weeks. We have now started to tell more people, which is exciting and scary. Take care ladies xx


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## mrschef04

MrsRL- wonderful news!!

MrsLondon- you need to resize your photo to a square on your phone.  Just click on edit and the button at the bottom that says aspect.  It will reduce the size of your photo.


----------



## MrsRL

Thank you MrsChef  Still can't believe it xx


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## mrschef04

I know what you mean.  Mine is here and I still can't believe it!  

AFM-feeling good but funny putting my notice in at work.  It wasn't just the fact they wouldn't reduce my hours.  It was the fact they couldn't approve me leaving 15 min early to pick up my son from nursery either.  So, just waiting to see what they say back as I'm still on maternity leave and don't go back until 30 March and then I only have three weeks of work left.  I'm hoping they will just not have me come back.  I could then do some temping four days a week while baby is in nursery and until I find my part time role.  Fingers crossed!


----------



## Catf2008

Just popping in to say hi to everyone, I'll try and catch up later with you all.

We are doing well, Scarlett doesn't crawl, pull herself up or even try to stand but the girl can get around by rolling, we went to Disney which was amazing. Things are a little tense between me & hubby, his really not accepting the fact that Scarlett is supposed to come first even right now he is to busy making himself a cup of tea rather than looking after Scarlett so that I can get her dinner done. We had a stressful time when seeing his family, I feel so sorry for our girl as only one 1 of sisters got a present for her for Christmas (it's the first time we have seen them since Christmas) and we got moaned out that we didn't spend enough on our niece and nephews. I know it's not about money but I just wish she was treated the same, sorry for the long moaning post, I'm off to try and make dinner now


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## mrschef04

Catf- aw, don't worry about her crawling and stuff.  It's BS when one baby is doing better.  Hell, everyone in my baby group has babies that sleep through the night, but mine still wakes every three hours to feed as he's huge.  I don't care.  I love him.  Secondly, yea, guys get jealous about the attention baby has.  I've had to put aside time to start paying attention to my hubby again and making love more.  Have you guys gone out on a date together yet?  Finally, families are weird, aren't they?  My in laws are the same.  They still favour my DH's first son, who's a bit of a spoiled brat, but I don't care.  I put together terms that me and baby don't have to see in laws more than every six weeks.  Just remember that they aren't worth it.  I always know my son knows that me and hubby love him more than anything and that is enough for us.

My work confirmed I can take my notice as garden leave, so that means baby will go to nursery four days a week, but I will pick him up quite early each day and use the time in the mornings to exercise, go to agencies and interviews for my new job.  The dream is something three days a week near my home.  At least I am no longer anxious about going back to work full time.  I feel so much better.  Love to you all!


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## MrsLondon

Arrggghh so annoyed! Was in the middle of typing you all a message and then I put my phone down for a sec came back and it was gone!!!!! I will try again later as about to eat dinner but in the mean time...here is a picture of Annika I hope...xx


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## mrschef04

Annika is gorgeous!  Look at those eyes!!!  Has happened to me a couple of times..  type out a long one and it's gone! :/


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## Catf2008

MrsChef- nope we haven't been on a date yet, my family make me feel bad if I ask them to watch Scarlett if we have a hospital appointment (hubby is having his heart monitored due to collapsing) I'm desperate to see the new Beauty and the Beast film but have a feeling I will have to wait till it's on DVD. I show our girl that we love her so much I just feel for her as I know she is treated so different.  It's great that you are able to take gardening leave, fingers crossed that you can find something part time 

MrsLondon - that's happened to me before. 

How are all you ladies doing?


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## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

Finally managing to reply properly, sorry.

Catf- I'm really sorry you're going through a difficult time, I have the opposite my family and in laws are too much!! Mil is so interfering and gets annoyed if things don't go her way, she even randomly turns up to my house without notice. Also I don't think men really understand what it's like and what we've been through. Unless you gave a rare one. My hubby is the same, comes home from work and basically sits on his phone or gets himself a snack and quite often ignores Annika whilst I'm running around doing things, then at the weekend begrudges doing any house work because he wants to relax. He never gets up with Annika, I haven't had one lie in since before she was born. I'm desperate to see Beauty and the Beast too. Scarlett will have your love and I'm sure she doesn't feel that she's loved less than any other child. She has you and your eyes the most important person to her. I really hope things improve for you.

MrsChef - it's great that you have gardening leave, hope the job hunt goes well and you find your ideal job. Awww thank you, she has big eyes like her mummy. So glad you're feeling happier re work.

Katfish- have you heard back from your Mir?

MrsRL - hi!! messaged you yesterday.

AFM it's my twenty week scan a week today, I can't believe it, it really feels to be going faster this time. I don't think we will find out the sexes although these last few days I've been tempted. 

Love to you all xx


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## MrsRL

Hi ladies, sorry I've been rubbish at messaging on here! 

MrsChef - it's great you can take gardening leave and I really hope you find a suitable job soon. So pleased you feel so much better about it  that job is out there for you somewhere!  

Mrs London - Annika is gorgeous!! As MrsChef said such lovely big eyes  not long until your 20 week scan now  

Catf - sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time at the moment. Glad you were able to enjoy Disney though, great picture of Scarlett  As others have said, Scarlett has so much love from you and that's the main thing that matters. I hope things get better soon. 

Katfish - how did your MRI go on Monday? 

AFM - not much to report really, was 13 weeks yesterday so hopefully symptoms are starting to ease now as it does feel like it. We're planning to have a private scan at 16 weeks and going to treat the mums by letting them attend too. We may find out the gender too. Have told more people at work now and they were so happy for us, which is nice  take care ladies xx


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## Katfish

MrsLondon- I had said that if we where having twins and we had two embies put in I would want to know if it is one of each. If they where the same sex then I wouldn't have wanted to know! Reason being that when buying things you could then get a mix like different colours for the Moses baskets or hood colours for the pram. That would have been the only reason I would have found out! Nowadays I think that I have very mixed views on finding it out! In ways I would want to know so I was prepared if I was going to have a little girl again as memories and upset may flood out at delivery. But I also love the idea of surprise still too!

MrsRL that's a lovely idea! I think it was an 18wk scan that I had at mothercare in Cowley! Glad that you are enjoying telling people know!

AFM - my MRI was ok was very nerve wrecking because I was panicked that there was going to have accidentally been something magnetic inside me! It was delayed by half an hour because they couldn't find the paperwork which state what stents I have in! To make sure that they where MRI safe! It was pretty uncomfortable because they had this big thing laying on top of my pelvis which was then strapped down and started to hurt my stomach and pelvic bones! Due to the delay they didn't manage to do my Knee one too so we have to go back another day for that one. I don't find out the results until my follow up on the 3rd April!
AF turned up a day early last month and is due again tomorrow! The last few days I've been getting really bad cramps. i don't remember ever having it like that before and I'm on quite hefty pain relief still too! Annoyingly I have had going through my head wondering if some kind of miracle has happened as we some how managed to rather awkwardly do it a week or so ago! I really doubt it's the case as it would be one in a billion chance if not more than that but just can't stop that head from thinking these things! I'm sure AF will show her face very soon!

I also wanted to tell you guys that on Friday it will be Flo's special day! It's going to be only Sean and I still but we are saying that if anyone wants to pay any respect then to light a candle to help send her off! It's going to be a very hard day for the two of us. On the slight positive side we actually got to see Flo last Friday. She looked amazing just like when I had last seen her! We both got to hold her and say goodbye it was a very emotional time and really good for Sean because he doesn't remember Flo at all! I had brought a blanket for her and we got to wrap her in that too! It's a really really lovely memory to have of Flo! It did make all the feelings very raw again however but I will never regret doing it!

Keep safe everyone and love to you all! And your precious little ones!


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## MrsLondon

Katfish - I will most definitely light a candle for Flo tomorrow. You're so completely brave and I'm in awe that you and Sean have managed to do the deed with all your ailments. I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Lots of love xxx


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## Katfish

MrsLondon - thank you. Haha it was rather interesting but it worked just  about! No idea when it will happen again though will have to think of a better way!

AF arrived again surprisingly bag on time! Weirdly never was on time before! I know people do say that pregnancy can kick the body into action!


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## MrsRL

Katfish - you are an amazingly strong lady. I will be thinking of you and Sean throughout today as you put your beautiful Flo to rest. I will definitely be lighting a candle for Flo later. Take care and sending love to you both xxx


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## mrschef04

Hi Katfish, I join the others in saying how strong you are.  Will be lighting a candle today as well.  Thinking of you, Sean and Flo and sending lots of love to you xx


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## Katfish

Thank you MrsChef and MrsRL

Attached a little photo of the flowers that we had for Flo's service and our candle lit at home!


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## MrsRL

💕💕 Sending love to you both xxxx attached a candle lit for Flo today xxx


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## Catf2008

Katfish - can I just say you are a truly amazing lady and the strength you have is just amazing, I'm glad you had a special day for Flo and she will always be with you

Hello to everyone else, I hope you are ok 

I know someone asked about Scarlett's hearing, we had her appointment on Wednesday and on the positive note we have no glue ear however she still wasn't reacting to low pitched sounds so we have to go back again in August for another hearing test


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## Katfish

Catf - glad that there is no Glue Ear and I hope that the appointment in August goes well!


MRI results day today! I've got very mixed feelings about the results! I am happy but I also just want to cry!

The uterus has healed well. The lining was really good and in tacked measuring 6mm! The left ovary which is the side where I'm missing the tube actually showed that it was ovulating. And the right ovary had follicles growing! She has said that the chances of conceving naturally would be unknown because of the likelihood that scar tissue would have grown over the hole connecting the tube! Not that it's even possible to conceive naturally anyway! I was worried about the Asprin I have to take daily and she said that wouldn't be a problem! I would just have to miss two doses one on EC day and the day following EC! Looking at it in IVF terms she can't see a reason as to why I wouldn't be successful next time! Which is amazing!
On another note she wants me to see a professor who is very well educated in looking at how the placenta will attach to the uterus and when is it safe to try again! This is because the risk of the placenta not attaching properly which would obviously affect a pregnancy! She threw some dates out like 18-24months!!!!!!!! Obviously We will not know for certain until this appointment but I'm pretty devistated by this!
I asked about the problem then of if the embryo we have frozen doesn't attach then it's pushing more and more time and seeing as my AMH came back low I'm worried about running out of time! So we spoke briefly about cycling in aim to freeze so we have more frozen as a back up! She was happy with this idea! She said that it's odd my AMH being low due to my OHSS in the last cycle! Eventually she decided that we would repeat my AMH level to see what it says and then we can work from there!
Finally I was worried as I'm still producing colostrum she said it was unusual because I've got my normal cycle back too! So I've had a Prolactin blood test too! If that's normal I'll have to be referred to the breast team! How glorious does that sound hey!!!


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## MrsRL

Katfish - it sounds like your results were positive and so pleased to hear your uterus has healed well. Sorry to hear that the wait to cycle again could be so long, I can understand you being devastated. This journey is all about waiting. I hope it's good news from the professor when you attend that appointment and hopefully a shorter wait. Sorry to hear about the colostrum too, I hope you get it sorted soon. You really deserve more good news soon xx

How is everyone else? xx


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## Katfish

Thanks MrsRL I agree I really need something good to happen in life right now! 
Sean keeps talking about taking his parents on holiday as a thank you! AKA my worst nightmare I've only just got rid of them let alone then go on holiday with them! Luckily Sean's kind of seen sense that he doesn't want to go because he can't stand sitting watching his dad guzzle beer when he can't drink much! He has said though that after he has had his reversal that we need to go away to an all inclusive somewhere and relax! Sounds like my idea of heaven right now although I pretty much hate the sight of my body! If anyone know where to buy one of those burka swim suits! Haha!


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## mrschef04

Catf- aww, I hope the next test in august goes well.  

Katfish-  here's hoping you get yo cycle soon and get good news.  I'm glad that you got some positive news out of it.  And btw, holidaying with in laws is always a bad idea.  You may like them, but they are in laws.  I did it one time and it was pretty crap and stressful.

Help to everyone else!

AFM- so it's been a bit of a rollercoaster.  In quitting my job, I at least pretty much got another month of maternity leave, really.  My DH also got offered extra consulting work, so it means I get to find a job with significantly reduced hours.  I could do three full days a week, but I just feel that's too long for baby, so I'm doing four hour days Monday to Friday the same time each day.  My commute is looking like 30 min each way for the jobs I'm interviewing for at the moment.  It won't be easy and we will have more nights at home rather than going out, but even my husband has backtracked and agreed.  He saw how happy it made me to take care of baby and he says our son is the happiest baby he has ever seen with me.  I don't remember if I mentioned it, but I had a terrible session at the nursery.  He was only there for an hour and I sat there for 30 minutes at first and the babies were mostly ignored. I felt something was wrong and couldn't put my finger on it, but I stayed awake that night and remembered how none of the workers cuddles or comforted the babies.  There was no playful chit chat from the carers at all and a lot of the babies came up to me instead and were holding their arms out.  One kid was crying a couple of times and was only two months older than baby and the carers didn't do anything except walk up, stick a dummy in his mouth and walk away.  The next day I walked in and said he isn't coming back.  I pretended it wasn't for him etc as I felt if I complained they would charge me.  I've ended up going with a childminder.  My friend's mom was one once and was looking for a relaxing part time job, so she will come to our home to look after him five hours a day and I can take him to playgroups three times a week, a baby swimming session and a Creche session at my gym, so he gets socialisation.  I'm on a huge waiting list for a good nursery, so he could always join that part time one day.


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## Catf2008

Katfish - I'm glad that you have had some good news, I'm hoping the weight for you isn't so long 

Mrschef - sounds like a very stressful situation with the nursery but glad you have found a childminder

AFM - we have all been suffering from coughs and colds and I'm still suffering now. We have Scarlett's next hospital appointment next month for her hip and I'm getting more worried about it, Scarlett will be 1 on the 29th and she still isn't crawling or pulling herself up to stand and won't stand even if you are holding her so I have a sinking feeling we will be referred further as she should be doing these things, we've had a few firsts this week which included clapping her hands and while singing she clapped in the right places


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## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

Cat2008 - sorry to hear that you're worried about Scarlett. Really hope the appointment goes well, try not to worry you never know all might be fine.

MrsChef - oh no that's terrible about the nursery, I don't think you mentioned it before. Was that the one with the amazing reputation and great reviews? The one you wanted to send Max to initially? That would have really upset me too. We are lucky that Annikas nursery is not like that at all. There are lots and lots of cuddles. The key workers there are lovely and my mum works there too which helps as she can always keep an eye on how things are going. Glad youve managed to find a childminder  

Katfish - glad to hear all has healed well and im so sorry that they've said you might have to wait up to 2 years. That must be really hard to deal with esp after everything you've been through. As for the holiday I would avoid at ALL costs. My MIL wants to go away next year all together, I'm not going unless my sister comes too. My in laws are the most BORING and annoying family EVERRRRRRRR.

AFM - twins are progressing nicely so far, I can feel them moving around loads now which is nice. Next scan is in two weeks to check their growth. I need to start thinking about buying things soon. Annika is one in just under three weeks, can't believe how fast its gone. 

Hi to everyone else.

Lots of love xxx


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## Katfish

MrsChef - haha I know it's a bad idea which is why I was never thrilled with the idea! Believe me I hate them now after having them living here for so long! I thought I got on quite well with them before this! Oh wow you quit your job that's a huge step! I hated it when I did my work experience in nurserys/day care because I found very much that the staff didn't do much at all and I was doing all the work with the children/babies really! One of the many reasons I would never put a child of mine in one or work in one again! I'm all for childminders!

CatF - I'm hoping so too but will need to see what the outcome is from the appointment with the professor first! Try not to worry too much all children do things at different times! Some run before they have even crawled! Seriously it happens! Thinking of you though I hope that it all goes well! Knowing little monkeys she will probs do it the day of the appointment! Someone I know had twins she said the dr was concerned as the little girl wasn't smiling! What do you know the rest of the appointment she was beaming at him!

MrsLondon - it is hard to deal with and knowing that all the furniture is all boxed up in the spare room waiting for 2years will be so hard! And going into the loft seeing the Moses basket sat there too! Oh no that sounds traumatic the holiday! Some people do it though! I went on holiday with my parents and my mums parents and it was awful! I don't get on with my grandad at the best of times let alone spend a two week holiday with him! Glad all going well with the twins! How far along are you now? Have you decided if your going to find out what your having yet?!


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## MrsLondon

I'm 22 weeks now  we didn't find out the sex this time. Was wondering...could you ask a different clinic for a 2nd opinion?

Xxx


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## mrschef04

Catf: so sorry you are worried.  Sometimes it takes time.  My baby only just properly started rolling back and forth.  I don't mind.  They just do things at their own pace.  Judging from my baby, I honestly think he will want to walk before crawling.  I hope your appointment goes well. 

MrsLondon- I can't believe you're that far along now!  Exciting!  Are you going to go back to work full time with three kids??

Katfish- yea, it just felt so wrong with the nursery.  

AFM- happy to have landed the part time job and it's more up my alley than before.  A lot of business management and I get to wear what I want.  Also, it's commutable via bicycle and only 30 minutes for a ride, so I'm really excited.  I'm only away from baby 5 hours a day.  Another IVF buddy has had a rough road.  Jus curious what you would do.  She has been married for five years, on her third round of IVF and just after egg transfer, she found out that her husband has been cheating on her with someone at work.  When she confronted him, he just made up a lot of excuses.  He didn't care how she was feeling or anything.  All he was doing was looking up online how to screw her out of her flat etc that she owned before him.  She is pregnant.  What would you do?


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## MrsRL

Catf - sorry to hear that you're worried about Scarlett's progress. I hope all goes well at the appointment, keep us updated!

MrsChef - that's awful with the nursery! So glad you've managed to find a childminder! Glad to hear you've sorted a new job and you sound so much happier about it all now! I'm not sure what to suggest with your friend, but it sounds like such an awful situation for her. The poor thing. I think the first thing I would do is seek legal advice! What an awful thing to find out after all she's been through.

Katfish - hope you manage to avoid the holiday if it's not what you want. I get on well with my in laws but have never been on holiday with them. I have with my own parents and DH though a few times. I hope you get a holiday with just the two of you soon. When is your appointment?

MrsLondon - I've replied to your message 

Hello to anyone else.

AFM - we had a private scan as 16 weeks this week and all is ok at the moment. We have found out we're team blue . We were happy with either, but I was shocked as thought girl for some reason, but very happy! Our 20 week scan is 9th May. Take care lovely ladies xx


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## Katfish

MrsLondon- it's not the clinic that's saying not to go ahead with it now. The consultant I saw at the hospital also works in the clinic. She has written a letter to the clinic to say that I am safe for IVF again but the problem isn't collecting and implanting an egg it's how the placenta will stick to the uterus with all of the scar tissue as there is risk that it shall not attach well which would cause for an unsuccessful pregnancy. She said it's called 'placental abruption' (A placental abruption is a serious condition in which the placenta partially or completely separates from your uterus before your baby's born. The condition can deprive your baby of oxygen and nutrients, and cause severe bleeding that can be dangerous to you both.) Basically my uterus looks like someone who had just had goodness knows how many c-sections in one go! And they are in multiple locations around the uterus! My scar is going down from my belly button. There was 20+ staples which gives you an idea of how big it is! The lady I'm being referred to is a specialist who looks at all the info and I expect the MRI too and can see when would be safe to carry a pregnancy and reduce the risks of anything going wrong. I will have to be an inpatient by at least 32wks and will have to have the baby early. No later than 36wk due to the risks of the uterus not holding. It's all very scary. But it will all hopefully be worth it. I just have to wait now until this appointment and the AMH result and we have to make a decision on both of those if we want to egg harvest in the meantime! 
Ah that's very exciting to have a surprise! 

MrsChef - well done on the job! I hope that it goes well when do you start? Regarding your friend that's seriously awful of him to be doing that and typical that it's just when they have finally managed to conceive. I was watching a programme on Netflix and there was someone on it who explained things quite well! Basically the whole try to get pregnant life becomes fully involved with that. The Sex turns into a chore and then the upset each time it doesn't work. Everything is all about making a baby you tend to forget about everything else you forget what is good what is normal. He's obviously gone a whole step further and looked for someone else. I'm not saying it's right or she is to blame. But all she can really try and do it stay calm. Her life isn't worth worrying about him. She has a baby now to focus on. If the house was hers before I can't see anyone in their right mind allowing him to take it away especially in her circumstances. I wish her all the best and hopefully things get sorted for her. The big thing isn't to take him back. Because in the back of her mind she will alway be worried about what he is doing/who he is doing.

MrsRL - not heard when the appointment is yet! Hopefully will do soon. Where did you end up going for your private scan? Congratulations on being in Team Blue all the best to you and for the 9th May.


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## Catf2008

Happy Easter to you all x


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## MrsRL

Katfish - it sounds like they are looking after you and being really cautious about the right time for you to cycle again. It sounds scary but hopefully it will be worth it all in the end. I hope you hear about the appointment soon so that you can start making some plans. We had our scan at a scan studio in Aylesbury. All being well we may have another scan after 20 weeks and go to Mothercare in Oxford to try that. Thank you for the congratulations. Let us know when you hear about your appointment and keep us updated!

Catf - lovely photo, very sweet! Happy Easter to you too!

Hello to everyone else! 

xx


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## Katfish

CatF - lovely picture!

MrsRL- yes I wondered if it was the mothercare one that you went to or not!

AFM - So today was D day the court date. Was freaking out so much about it all dreading not having a licence any more and now difficult it will be! I felt so so out of place sat in the waiting room. All these different people coming in I was wondering looking at each person as to what they were there for. Luckily we managed to save money because the solicitor firm that we had been involved with where acting as the duty solicitors today so it meant that I didn't need to pay anything but they knew the fine details about the case already! I hadn't actually met the lady before though! Anyway I was called by the solicitor after waiting for only 15mins maybe and she said she wanted a chat and because it's nice weather to go outside which is when she told me that the case has been dropped and all charges have been thrown out as is wasn't in public interest to charge me! I hadn't notice Sean wasn't behind me and had accidentally left the bag inside so when he appeared outside he was very confused seeing the solicitor and I having a hug! Still now I don't think it's truly sunk in and I think that I'm going to wake up and it was all a dream! So I get to keep my driving license and no points (well at the moment anyway) we both feel very upset with the Police officers that where on the case for making it go this far when nobody else (solicitors and Judge) believed that there was no reason to press the charges as I've lost so much already! So we went to go and book a viewing at the house that we wanted prior to everything happening and we have the estate agent visiting again tomorrow to put our house back on the market! Hopefully this will all cause a good distraction and gives us something to look forward to!


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## MrsRL

Katfish - so pleased to hear your news and that you have been cleared of everything as you should be. It's awful that you had to go through all that though after everything and I'm not surprised that you're both so upset. I hope you get the house you want and sell your house so that you have something to look forward to, which you deserve so much xxx


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## MrsLondon

Katfish, that's fantastic news. It must have been such a relief but bitter sweet as no on can take away from the pain of loosing Flo. Sorry I didn't read your previous previous message properly regarding your uterus. When I read your reply I remembered that you said that it was placenta related. When is your next appointment scheduled for? Really hope everything goes well with the house move and you get the house that you want. It will probably be a welcomed distraction.

Catf - What an adorable picture of Scarlett, she's such a babe. Hope all coughs and colds are better now.

MrsChef - Congrats on your job, sounds absolutely perfect. Re your friend, if that was me and DH had actually had an affair I would leave him, but that's just me, I had a horrible situation just before we found out that the NHS wouldn't be funding our IVF. DH was going through a tough time and got involved in some inappropriate messaging to another woman. I found out and obviously lost it but they didn't actually do anything so I forgave him (ish, I've never forgotten and things are different now). Plus, I was desperate to have a baby and I knew we were finally on that path. But if I was pregnant with Annika at the time I don't know...if she was born I would have told him to do one but pregnant....it's really hard...well actually if he had an affair right now and I found out being pregnant with the twins then yes I would tell him to sling his hook.  

AFM - I'm 23 weeks today, next week I've got my GD test Monday, scan and consultant Tuesday and then Midwife Thursday. I'm already the size I was with Annika when I was full term give or take so who knows how much bigger I'll get. 

xxx


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies, it's really quiet in here at the moment so just thought I would pop in and say hi! How is everyone? 

Mrs London - will message you back shortly. 

Hope everyone is ok xx


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## mrschef04

Katfish glad to hear things are working out for you and you can start moving forward!

MrsLondon how are you feeling lately?

MrsRL- how are you feeling? The 20 week scan is coming up! You must start feeling happy? 

AFM sorry I've been quiet.  Childminder doing well.  Finally settling in at work and my life.  Baby is settling more with sleep and only waking once in the night.  We spent a load on a Sleepyhead Grand and it does work amazingly well. Bedtime is amazing now! He is now 7 months next week!!! How time goes!


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## Catf2008

Hello ladies 

Hope you are all well. 

I'll try and do personals later but need to rush to a screaming little one, can't believe that Scarlett is now 1 years old time has gone so fast.


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## mrschef04

Hi catf!  Wow! One year!  

Oh and just to say that my friend has decided to divorce and will be having her baby.  My little one is doing good.  The work hours are much better, so I'm only working four hours with a 30 minute cycle commute.  He's in a good routine and I get 8 hours a day during the week with him.  I'm blessed.


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## MrsRL

MrsChef - it's lovely to hear things are working out so well with the childminder and work. So happy for you! You sound so happy with your new routine  wow 7 months!! I'm doing ok thank you 19+3 today and have my 20 week scan on Tuesday at exactly 20 weeks. Starting to get hip pain now and again now I have a bump and some trapped wind but not too bad.

Catf - lovely to hear from you. Wow Scarlett is one  Hope she is doing well! How are things with you? 

Hello to Katfish, MrsLondon and anyone else reading xx


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## Katfish

MrsRL – Yes selling the house is a good distraction. Unfortunately not too much happening at the moment on the selling front though. We had an offer but it was too low. Good luck with your scan on Tuesday! Flo was a right monkey for my 20wk scan didn’t want to play ball and move so they could do the checks they needed to do! It took three attempts on two different days. Hope that the hip pain settles down. And the trapped wind.  

MrsLondon – I have been given an appointment with the professor on the 8th June been told to have a fullish bladder because she may want to scan me. Not that it makes much sense to seeing as they have the much more in depth MRI. I read what you said to MrsChef can’t believe that your husband did that it must be quite hard to not wonder what he is doing but I am glad that it is all over now! I hope that your GD test went well and that all the other appointments went well too.

Catf – wow 1 time flies hey!

MrsChef – I think your friend has defiantly made the right decision there. Hopefully all will continue to go well with her pregnancy. I know this is a bit early. But she will need to have a think about if she will put his name on the birth certificate. Reason I say this is because if she does then he will have more rights to her baby. Sounds silly but when we have had mothers at work not wanting the father to visit we can only abide if the dad isn’t on the certificate. Glad that the new hours and job is going well!

AFM – Not too much going on here at the moment. As I stated to MrsLondon I have been given an appointment with the professor on the 8th June so we just have to wait and see what happens then. I’m struggling quite a bit at the moment to be honest I barely feel like Sean and I have much of a relationship any more. He goes to work, he comes home has the dinner I have done, then sits and does more work in front of the TV to stop him falling asleep. When we go to bed I can’t go to sleep straight away as my head keeps thinking about everything so mess around on my phone until I can’t keep my eyes open. Yeh at times we have a cuddle but just feels crap really. I just wish that things where back to normal already. Sean hopefully will have his op August/September time as then hopefully things will be able to go back to normal. 
I’ve got an appointment with Occupational Health at the end of the month when I am going to ask if I am able to do some non-clinical work so at least I have something a bit more to do with my days. I really am struggling to see myself back in my previous roll again but we shall see only time will tell.


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## MrsRL

Katfish - so lovely to hear from you  Glad you have an appointment to see the professor, keep us updated on what happens. Sorry to hear you're struggling, sending hugs to you x. Have you spoken to Sean about how you're feeling? What op does Sean need to have? It must be hard being at home all day with so much time to think. I often think of you and wonder how you're doing. Aww bless Flo during your scan, ours has been a monkey at other scans so will be interesting! House selling isn't easy, ours sold reasonably quickly but then we struggled to find anywhere ourselves. Our solicitors now can't progress on the buying side for us as the seller's solicitor hasn't sent the draft contract yet! Our buyers are constantly chasing it all but it's not us holding it up! I hope you get a reasonable offer soon  xx


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## mrschef04

Hi Katfish, you two definitely need a break together.  Even if it means going out for a few drinks and a meal.  You just have to make time for it.  Have you guys talked about it a bit?  I know it's never easy with a lot of stress going on, but the best relationships survive a lot of tough times.  I think of you and Sean often too.  I hope there are some things you both could do so you both connect more.

MrsRL- sounds funny.  My 20 week scan felt much more relaxed too, as at 12 weeks, I was worried about all of the possible issues.  He bounced around too much!  Let us know how you get on!  Are you starting to buy things?  Several things that were my saviour: nosefrida and sterimar nose spray for the baby colds.  I swear by it.  I also swear by the sleepyhead.  It's expensive but worth it.  And a vibrating bouncing chair is a must!!


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## MrsLondon

Hi lovely cycle buddies,

Katfish- glad you've got your appointment with the professor. Hope it goes well. I'm so sorry to hear about you and Sean. What you've been through has put you both under tremendous strain I'm sure. It can be so difficult focussing on yourselves when you've got a million other things to think about. Maybe a trip away is what you both need.

Catf - Happy birthday to Scarlett. Hope she had a lovely day. 

MrsChef - I'm so pleased that your work situation has worked out for the best and you get to spend a lot of time with Max. These times are so precious. How's he getting on? Is he crawling now? Any teeth? 

AFM - I'm doing ok, 25 weeks now and am definitely bigger than I was with Annika full term. It's getting harder and harder doing things and I'm always tired and generally grumpy but happy deep down if that makes sense? I have gestational diabetes will need to monitor diet and check bloods three times a day. My appointment for that is on Wednesday where I will find out more about it. Babies seem ok, there's a 9% difference in their size which apparently is fine. My consultant wasn't very nice at my last appointment as they were running 1.5hours late and I made a comment about it. If she's the same next time I'm going to complain. Next scan is in 2.5 weeks where I'll find out more. Twin two is currently breech and presenting so if he/she stays that way it will definitely be a section for me but it's still early days apparently, but god know how there's any room in there for them to move. I'm quite petite at 5"4 and used to be slim size 8. 
Annika turned 1 on bank holiday Monday. We had a massive party for her, she love it but it was too much for me. Too tiring. Work has been full on too. Just realised I've been rambling 🙈

Hope you're all ok? MrsRL I messaged you this morning.

Lots of love to you all xxx


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## mrschef04

Hi MrsLondon- no teeth yet. He has teethed a couple of times, but nothing major.  He's a good baby.  Now only waking once in the night and will be 7 months on Tuesday.  He's not crawling yet, but can stand really easily and is trying to walk already.  He rolls loads and is trying to drag himself along and move his feet. However, he is a big tall baby.  Any babies that are 9 months look so small compared to my son.  I don't mind if he's late on some things.  He turned to another baby and tried chatting to them with baby talk a couple of days ago and his joy when he could shake a rattle five days ago was amazing.  I'm just so happy that I'm teaching him loads.  I read him four books or more a day, sing lots of songs, we do lots of exercise, I take him for two 30 minute walks in his pram each day and he goes to one swim class, one baby Sensory class and I'm looking at either a  music class and one Gymboree class a week.  And my Masterchef hubby makes his veg purees for him.  I can't believe how happy I am.  I'm blessed and I am definitely cherishing every moment.


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## mrschef04

MrsLondon, sorry, two posts as I seem to lose posts on here.  Are you going to work full time afterwards?  I'm happy and feel like part time work was good for me.  It's hilarious that I used to care so much about my career and my looks, but now I feel more beautiful in glasses with no make up and old pyjamas.  Even my husband thinks I'm more beautiful now, even though I can't lose the weight due to breastfeeding.  Is it all hitting home now?  Three kids!!


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## MrsRL

MrsChef - I'm quite nervous for the 20 week scan, I'm such a worrier though!! I will update you  I haven't bought anything at all yet, I'm too scared to at the moment! I've been looking but not buying  thanks for the tips! We will look after the scan and probably buy after 24 weeks. It sounds like things are going so well for you and you're really enjoying being a Mummy! So happy for you  All being well I hope to work part time after baby too, I just couldn't work full time especially as it could be our only one.

Mrs London - have messaged you back  

xx


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## Katfish

MrsRL – I will defiantly let you all know what happens with the professor. No I’ve not spoken to him really because there isn’t much point. I make it pretty obvious when he’s upset me then he gets ****** off because I’m upset. But thing is talking just causes more problems really and I just get upset and then he gets annoyed with me. Sorry I thought I had mentioned in the past what Sean’s medical situation was. Basically he currently has a stoma which is when they have to attach part of the intestine to the stomach which rather than opening your bowels normally it goes into a bag which you wear on your stomach. This is causing a lot of problems as doesn’t behave how it is meant to which causes a lot of stress! So the OP that he will have will reverse this and connect the large and small intestines back together so it will come out the right place again. He had to have a large amount removed after the accident and it needed time to repair and to reteach itself. Hence why he doesn’t really want to be intimate as well. 
Ah you are very lucky with yours selling so fast but such a pain that you struggled to find one and there solicitors being slow! We found it very good going to the baby show. We went to one in Sandown and we went to another in Olympia. They have just done the one at the NEC to I think its the one in London Excel next. We found the Sandown one best I think. Nice to look around and you spend loads!!!!!! Whoops! 

MrsChef – We certainly do but unfortunately this will not be able to happen until Sean’s had his op. We are frequently out for meals but this is just as stressful because Sean is only allowed to eat a low fibre diet and he can’t drink much as is on restricted fluids. Only 500ml of normal drinks and then he has to have 1.5l of lucozade sport with salt! As I said to MrsRL its very hard to talk I just say the “wrong” things all the time. We are going again to a board games café which will be good again tomorrow nice doing something together. Although he always wins which is pretty tiresome. 

MrsLondon – Hopefully we will get away at the end of the year. But we will see. GD would make sense if you have a big bump too! But also everyone always pops out much more for there second. Hopefully twin two flips around for you and you don’t need to have a c-section. Glad that Annika had a lovely birthday!


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## mrschef04

MrsLondon- can't believe it had been a year!! How was her birthday?  I'm sorry I keep missing details, but I'm usually texting quickly on my phone before running a k to baby.

Katfish- I'm so sorry.  The best thing at this time is to be supportive and I think you are doing the best you can.


----------



## Katfish

MrsChef - Thank you! I have found best thing to do these days is to just not say anything and just be there! It's so hard to not say anything though when you can see sometimes what has been done wrong but he will not see it himself! He's his own worst enemy unfortunately!

AFM - So today was going well! We where having a great time playing games then his Stoma plays up when we get home and bam the day completely flips! Now back to being yet another ****ty day again! Great!


----------



## MrsLondon

Mrschef- I'm so so happy for you. You've really embraced motherhood and it seems like you've taken to it like a duck to water. Max sounds adorable, really tall it seems? Does he like going to the childminder? Annikas birthday was lovely thank you. She really enjoyed herself. She's a lot more sociable since she went to nursery. I'm definitely going back to work part time after these two arrive. I doubt I'll be lucky enough to work three days but four is better than five. It's starting to hit home a bit but I guess until I have them in my arms it won't seem real. I'm getting fed up with work and being pregnant too though. It's waaaaaaay harder this time and I really want to enjoy it more as this is the last time it will ever happen but I'm finding it tough. I'll never tire of feeling them move though, that's the best feeling. 

Katfish- I hadn't realised about Sean's stoma, that must make things tough. I really wanted to crawl into the iPad and give you a hug following your last post. You're both growing through such a tough time. Hopefully love will prevail. 

Xx


----------



## Katfish

MrsLondon - ah I feel like I could do with a hug most days these days! Today finally he came home in a good mood and I was too! Then Sean spoke to me like I was thick (which he seems to do a lot recently) because the message I was passing on from the GP didn't make sense. Which it did and he just didn't understand the medical term of unit! SERIOUSLY!!!!! Still no apology when I've showed him and made sense of it all! Just kind of want to cry all the time!


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## MrsRL

Katfish - sorry I didn't realise that  Sean has a stoma. I can understand that being very difficult for him especially if it isn't behaving and causing stress. You have both been through so much together and it will take time to be back to somewhere near normal again, whatever normal is. It sounds like you are doing the best you can in such an awful situation. We're all here if you ever need somewhere to chat or vent, feel free. I hope things start looking up for you both soon and sending lots of hugs to you xxx


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## MrsRL

Hi ladies, I hope you are all ok xx

Just a quick update to say all was looking good on the scan and we are definitely having a boy  I was very nervous so relieved that all was well xx


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## mrschef04

MrsRL - congratulations!  That's excellent!  I'm so pleased for you and glad that you have gotten over one of the final big scans.  From 25 weeks onwards, I just spent it counting kicks a lot.  Cannot wait until you let yourself start getting excited about everything!  I know that you didn't mind which sex you got, but are you happy with a boy?  I'm such a tomboy, having a boy was a relief!


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## Katfish

MrsRL - thank you! I met up with a really good friend today and had a good rant and a lovely natter in the sunshine! Got some awful tan/burn lines now! But she feels that He's being pretty selfish and putting all of his frustration on me! Which is very much the case. Glad all went well for your scan! And deffo still a little man! Any name ideas yet?! Are you feeling any movements yet?


AFM - Sean and I had a bit of a chat about things which seemed to go well. Probs the main issues where not discussed but hopefully it will make him think twice! Had a great day with a good friend today though when Sean got home and asked where I had gone he rolled his eyes when I replied the pub! When I eventually got out of him why he did. He said it's because I'm not meant to be spending money. I said I haven't gone out much at all and this is the first in a while. I got ****** off with this! I said sorry for going out and then he was like your allowed to go out! Hot and cold or what?! So once again a downer on what was a lovely day!


----------



## MrsRL

Mrs Chef - thanks so much  we were very relieved that everything was ok. Next milestone is 24 weeks! Yes we're thrilled with a boy! We both would have been happy with either, as didn't think we would get here, but I've wanted a boy for a while one reason being to carry on DH's name as DH is the only boy on that side. I also love the idea of DH having a son  I'm more of a girly girl but very happy! 

Katfish - it sounds lovely meeting with your friend  I'm sure it helped talking things through with her. Sorry to hear the day ended on a downer for you. I hope you can work through it all, you've been through a lot together and it sounds like he is taking some things out on you. I hope things improve soon. We have got a list of names but nothing finalised yet. I have a couple of favourites but we still need to sit down and discuss it. I have started feeling movements from around 18 weeks, which is comforting. I hope today is better for you and doesn't end on a downer. 

Take care ladies xx


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## Katfish

MrsRL - we had two boys and two girls names we where quite happy with I'm sure that the name you come up with will be perfect. Surprisingly Sean actually apologised last night for being moody sometimes he doesn't mean too. I said that I know but I had a lovely time and then he put a downer on it all and ruined it! He apologised for being and idiot! I can't believe he did this I was so surprised! Maybe this is progress but I will not get my hopes up!


----------



## MrsRL

Katfish - that is great news, at least he acknowledged that he was in the wrong! Hopefully it means progress for both of you, you really deserve it xx


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## mrschef04

Katfish, don't worry honey.  We all go through this.  When it's health related, it must get really difficult to keep your mood up.  I'm glad he apologised.  It shows how much he's still clutching on to your bond and love. I hope everything starts looking up and really big hugs.

MrsRL, ah, you and me both.  My hubby is so happy. It has completely changed his perspective on parenting.

AFM, does anyone know when a child finally settles on a regular wake up time and truly sleeps through the night?  I'm exhausted.


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## MrsLondon

Just a very quick one...

MrsChef it depends on the invidiual. Annika slept through from 6/7 months but others from my NCT group were much later. Depends on a variety of different things. Nap times, food intake, feeding in the night etc. Breast vs formula. I'm sure he'll get there in the end. Also it depends how strict you want to be. I stopped giving Annika a feed by slowly watering it down and then she stopped waking up. My sisters girls are 5 and 7 and they are still rubbish sleepers.

MrsRL glad you had a chat with Sean and he apologiesd.

Need to run, Annika has just woken up xxx


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## Catf2008

Hello ladies

I hope you are all well 

MrsRL - glad to hear all is well & that you're having a boy.

MrsChef - Scarlett has pretty much slept through the night since she was about 15 weeks old and at age 1 she still has a varied wake up time, anytime from 7:30am till 9am but I'm going to start getting her up at 8am to set a regular time for us both.

Katfish - sending you love and hugs, you really are having a tough time of it, hopefully the chat will do something 

Hope everyone else is ok 

AFM - I feel like we are getting no where with Scarlett and the hospital, we had another check up on her hip this week and again we have to come back in 3 months to be checked again and another scan all because she was breech, I've spoke  to other mum's of breech babies and they were signed off within a few weeks so can't see why we keep being called back, this last week she has has finally started standing but shows no signs of walking and from what we have managed to get out of the doctors they won't sign her off till she is walking. So the poor love has to go back in August for a hip & hearing check, I just feel so sorry for her.  Sorry for the moan, just find it hard at the moment with hubby's depression and all of this I don't really have anyone to chat to


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## mrschef04

Hmmm, ok, I just think he is starting to settle.  He has just turned 7 months but was born two weeks early.  Plus, he keeps learning something new every few days, so they say it keeps them awake as he's always practicing rolling and starting to crawl.  So I don't feel too bad. I give him a dream feed at 10pm and then he doesn't wake until 3am and he does actually eat everything at that time.  Baby is bigger than all of the one year olds right now too, so I'm cutting him some slack, especially as we think he's going to start fully crawling any moment now and he's going to probably start walking in a couple of months.

Catf- please don't feel sorry for her.  I know you are worried, but don't be.  Physically, I was a late developer as a baby, but then I became a professional athlete, so developmental milestones don't mean anything.  I look at my baby and he's not massively advanced but he's mine.  I'm not harsh on baby about stuff like some women in my groups, but he is so smiley and happy and that's what matters.  Just keep trying and I'm sure things will work out.  I'm sorry about your husband.  I hope there is some help that he could get.  I suffer from PTSD and mild BPD, but I put myself through a lot of therapy and self therapy and it did wonders.

MrsLondon- thanks for that.  Yea, he's not bottlefed fully so I'll just hope it goes naturally.


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## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

Hope you're all well? It's been a while since anyone posted so thought I'd just check in and say hello.

Catf- how's Scarlett and things with DH? Hope things are better between you. 

Katfish - hope you and Sean are well? Any updates?

MrsChef - how's it all going? Still enjoying your work life balance? All working out to plan? Max ok?

AFM - I'm now 30 weeks!! Twins should be with us in approx 7 weeks. Apart from my gestational diabetes and anemia which I can't shift, all seems to be fine (thank god). I'm having trouble sleeping. Guess I have too much on my mind so I'm very tired a lot of the time. Annika is great, she's walking now. We have her appointment at Clarkes tomorrow to get her shoes which I'm very excited about (sad I know). She's a very determined young lady, knows what she wants and already isn't afraid of telling us by pointing and babbling and then throwing mini tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants 😂. I have to hide my phone from her as at one she already knows what it is. 

Hope you're all doing well, just catching up. I've been up since 4 unable to sleep so I already know it's going to be a tough old day 

Lots of love and catch up when you can xxx


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## mrschef04

Hi MrsLondon, it's nice to hear from you!  Lol!  I already started looking at Clark's shoes!  As his mother is into funky trainers, I was worried he would have to wear something ugly!  I'm excited too!  Ugh, you must be tired, but well done you for just keeping on going.  It looks like baby Max will be walking before crawling.  He just seems too big to be a crawler.  The funny thing is that he is usually dressed in sleepsuits or romper suits because of his round belly and thick thighs.  God I love him!  My childminder/nanny is great and we have a schedule down.  I think it works really well that Mon to Fri that I'm leaving and arriving at the same time every day.  Baby is in a full routine, but now is going through the eight month sleep regression.  Any idea on how long this lasts?  He already was refusing a third nap, so I'm letting him have a 30 minute one in the middle of the day, but he's pretty much on two naps a day now instead.  He's a bit whingy and is waking up once or twice extra through the night, but I don't feed him and don't interact, so he falls asleep again.  Hopefully this doesn't last long.

Hello to everyone else!  Katfish, Catf and MrsRL!


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## Katfish

MrsLondon – I have been meaning to post something too as I also noticed it had been very quite. I will update everyone below on what’s happening with me at the moment! Wow 30wks not much longer to go for you at all then! Shame about the gestational diabetes and anemia at least the weather has cooled down a bit for you again! I hope that the sleeping begins to improve though. 

MrsChef – Glad that things are going well with you! I hope that little Max’s sleep gets back on track again for you soon! 

AFM – I will try and post this part tomorrow Sean getting annoyed with me on laptop and bedtime is calling too! Things are ok with me ☺


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## Katfish

So whats been happening with me, well where to start! We sold our house and the one we really wanted our offer was accepted! So busy sorting out everything at the moment. The company we are selling through want us to be completed by the end of July!!!!!!
I've started 3days of non-clinical work again. Last week I did 3h each day and I'm doing 4h today. There was tears in the first hour of getting there just found it all a bit overwhelming and I had gone onto the unit briefly. Then after I had physio and burst into tears as soon as I got there great start hey!! The second day wasn't too bad I enjoyed it but Thursday was just so stressful I hated it because I have no clue if I'm doing it correctly! I am looking at new jobs non-clinical within the NHS I can't see myself going back to my normal role right now!
Now on Thursday I had my appointment with the professor it went well. She is happy that the scaring is right at the top of the uterus. Which is both good and bad in different ways! But they are taking it more positively! It would just be very risky if I went into labour as the uterus may rupture from stretching the scars in the wrong way. Now she's happy for us to try again in 18months!!!! So that is a bit of a relief! I would have weekly appointments with her from 24wks onwards! She's also said that we should only ever put one embryo back as it would be very risky to put two back! If we get identical twins they will deal with it then but it will make it very risky too much stress on the scars. Each pregnancy would come with more risk due to creating more scar tissue. It wouldn't be safe to conceive number two until 12months after! Now also there is risk that when removing the placenta may be risky and could mean I need a hysterectomy BUT they have ideas like leaving tissue and putting a ballon in to allow the tissue to reabsorb! (Yes a ballon!!!!)
In the meantime we are going to look at embryo harvesting to protect my fertility and hopefully make the process easier if our frozen embie doesn't stick or for baby number two!


----------



## Catf2008

Hello All

Katfish - well done on selling the house. That's amazing about trying for a baby and that it is all possible for you.

MrsLondon - 30 weeks already that is going fast, bet you can't wait to meet your little ones.

MrsChef - sounds like you have a good balance

AFM - well where do I start, hubby appears to be getting better, his been wanting to see a medium since his dad passed away and last week he finally saw one (I'd been putting him off as wasn't sure if it was best for him) well i was wrong he came out with the biggest smile on his face and he has been in a brilliant mood since then, his also taken up gardening which seems to be helping him. Scarlett is a little munchkin, she is now 13 months old still no sign of crawling (she just drags herself along) & no signs of walking either, she is starting to try and pull herself up. On a very happy note we have booked to go to Walt Disney World in Florida in October 2018


----------



## MrsRL

Hi Lovely Ladies, sorry I haven't posted for ages.

Catf - glad to hear your hubby is doing better, that's great news  It sounds like Scarlett is doing really well for herself and I'm sure she will walk when she is ready  Walt Disney World in Florida will be amazing! What a fab holiday to look forward to!

MrsChef - it sounds like you're doing well and Max too  it really sounds like your job is working out brilliantly for you and getting Max in a good routine. You sound so happy anyway 

Katfish - lovely to hear your update too. Great new on selling your house and having an offer accepted on the house you really wanted, so happy for you  we are in the process of moving house too! I hope you get completed by the end of July, that would be great. Sorry to hear you found it difficult going back to work, I'm not surprised it was overwhelming after everything you have been through. I hope you manage to find the right job for you soon. 
Good news that you will be able to try again for a baby in 18 months, at least it gives you something to aim for. It sounds like they will be looking after you, which must be reassuring. Good news with the embryo harvesting too. I'm so pleased you have a plan in place.

Hello to MrsLondon and anyone else reading.

AFM - I am 25 weeks today and doing ok at the moment. In some ways it is going slow and in other ways flying by. Will try to catch up in here more often.

Love to all xxx


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## MrsLondon

HI girls,

MrsChef - Sleep is a funning thing and from my experience all babies are different. I was lucky with Annika, she slept through from 7 months and even when teething she's been a trooper and we haven't had many disturbed nights since then. I think from 5 months she was down to two naps unless she didn't have a long afternoon one. She sleeps around 11/11.5 hours a night, usually 7-6/6.30 if I'm lucky. I never get her out of her cot before 6.15 and she's quite happy to play by herself if she gets up before then (usually). Really happy for you that all is well. Did you find some shoes that weren't ugly in Clarkes? 

Catf - Wow Disney sounds AMAZING. I'm very jealous  so happy that things are better with DH and that seeing the medium helped. It's great that Scarlett has starting pulling herself up. One of my friends didn't crawl or walk until she was 2! They all develop at different rates.

Katf - What fab news about your house. The appointment sounds positive too and it seems like things are underway. Really pleased that there seems to be some light at the end of a very dark tunnel for you.

Hi to MrsRL and anyone else who is still lurking. I do often think about everyone from our original journeys and wish everyone well.

xxx


----------



## Katfish

Catf - thank you just a shame really that we can't try right away but the fact they are looking at it positively is amazing! Glad that things are better with your hubby and he's started to look more positively. Bet you can't wait till your holiday!  I've got friends who go and absolutely love it! She's going again at the end of the year!

MrsRL - when do you move into your new house? Will be very exciting for you!

MrsLondon - yes I'm hoping so. The idea of egg harvesting is to try and reduce the risk of OHSS again later on and delaying things. Obviously we will go with whatever the clinic also feels best so just gotta get things going there and hopefully will stop that feeling of doing nothing for the future.

AFM - I forgot to say that things between Sean and I. It's not completely perfect and he still has those days when he gets at me about everything but he is now seeming to realise at some point what he has done! I try and make a bit of a comment about it as he is doing it to make him realise. Let's just hope that things stay this way or improve.


----------



## mrschef04

Katfish - I'm so glad you sold your house and got the one you wanted!  I'm also just really happy that your fertility road can begin again and that it sounds like the doctors are doing everything they can to help you do it right.  That's good that Sean realises what he is doing and that you remind him.  Fingers crossed that, as you say, they stay that way or improve.

MrsLondon - Well, this time it wasn't too bad.  He has started waking earlier and earlier every day, but I just leave him in his cot until 6am to babble and snooze every now and then, but he still only has one night waking for a feed.  I just don't touch him until 6am now every day.  Other than that, I switched him straightaway to a two-nap schedule, so that's worn him out, but he has managed to get used to it.  Now, I just have to work on switching his nap place from the chair to a cot and then get rid of his binky while he sleeps (doesn't use it any other time, except his two naps and at bedtime).  I think you are amazing going through all of this all over again.  I don't think that it will happen to me again.  I'm not on any birth control, but I think this was my rainbow baby and I am just so happy to focus my attention on him anyway (I can't see myself as a multiple child person - mainly because I don't think I have the energy and not for any other reason.  I was a complete whinger during pregnancy and the first three months, so can't say that I would do well the second time around).  Yes, found some funky shoes at Clark's - a couple of different pairs.  Can't wait to buy them too!

Catf - The trip to disney sounds great! Glad that things are so much better with hubby.  Have you tried Gymboree classes, by the way?  They have a lot of physical training classes and since I've been taking my baby, he has improved dramatically?  I know it's more than that, but it doesn't hurt to try different things.  Maybe go for a trial class?

MrsRL - glad things are moving along.  It will go by faster than you think.  I still can't believe I was just pregnant a year ago.  Hope you're okay in all of this hot weather!!

AFM - 8 months old and he is still getting bigger.  He's now switched to 18 month clothing (but not all of it).  Some of it is still a little too long.  I swear, he's a monster now!  I'm still working 20 hours a week.  We're poor, but we couldn't be happier.  One thing is that I found a lot of strength in myself as a mother.  I finally fell out with my mother in law about how she was treating both myself and my baby as second-class citizens compared to my husband's first son, who is 8 years old.  Hubby backed me up on this and even encouraged that I do this too.  Glad it's all done as now his mother hates me, but it means I don't have to put up with my son being treated as rubbish by her racist friends or that my son is a lot less important than her favourite grandson.  I may be able to laugh off any stupid remarks from my MIL, but I sure as heck am not going to put up with it on behalf of my son.


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## Katfish

Been a bit quite on here. How's everyone doing?

I have an appointment seeing the head of OFU on Monday and we will find out what the AMH result is and we shall make a plan. Then will hopefully be going through some kind of egg harvesting.


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies, sorry I have been awol.

Katfish - good luck with your appointment at OFU. I hope it goes well and a plan can be put into place. We move in tomorrow! I doubt I will be doing much though. Any news on your house move? How are things between you and Sean now? I hope things have stayed the same or even improved.

MrsChef - it sounds like Max is doing really well and growing very well too  Good for you speaking to your MIL and standing up for yourself. I'm glad your hubby supported you as well.

Hello to Catf, Mrs London and anyone else reading. Like Mrs London, I often think of everyone from our original journeys and wonder how everyone is doing.

AFM - I had my 28 week midwife appointment on Tuesday and unfortunately I was measuring small. I was sent for a growth scan yesterday. Some of the measurements were smaller than they should be and he was measuring about a week behind on some! As he's off his original centile from the 20 week scan by quite a lot, (was 68% and now 12%, so below 5th centile ☹) I've got to be re scanned in 2 weeks and see a consultant! The main thing was the head circumference is measuring small, which is a concern. His stomach etc wasn't too bad, although smaller it was still on 50th centile, that's usually the thing they worry about as it tends to drop first apparently. The fluid and blood flow to placenta was all fine though, which is a bit of a relief. Will just have to see what 2 weeks time brings. It is all very worrying but trying not to worry too much until I see what the next scan brings. In the meantime I've been told to monitor movements and contact if I notice reduced movements. In other news, we move into our new house tomorrow so trying not to stress too much about that! I won't be able to do much anyway. Take care ladies xxx


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## MrsLondon

Good luck for your appointment tomorrow Katfish. Really hoping for some good news for you. 

MrsChef - how's your big boy Max doing? Did you manage to get rid of his binky? I think you've done a really brave thing with your MIL

Catf - Hope things are ok with Scarlett? And DH?

AFM - I'm now 34 plus 3 and starting to struggle a bit. Just can't get comfy at night so finding it hard to sleep. Annika had some diarrhoea and sickness bug these last few days which I seemed to pick up. Luckily I didn't actually throw up but I've felt sick and still feel that way today. Struggling to eat too so my energy levels are really low. Been trying to rest as much as I can but hard with Annika. 9 days until my final scan and then most likely 3 weeks max left until I meet these little ones.

Lots of love to you all.

Xxx


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## mrschef04

Katfish – Fingers crossed that you get a good result and that the egg harvesting starts again soon.  

MrsRL – from what I’ve heard from another woman, sometimes it’s that the baby will simply be small for her growth, but that it’s definitely fine to go through the whole pregnancy with baby measuring small.  She said that her baby didn’t go through a growth spurt and still was only 6 pounds at birth, but that the thing that helped most was steroid injections.  Also, because the placenta is good with good blood flow, that it’s definitely a good sign.  Apparently, this is common and all women that have had this have gone on to delivery just fine.  I hope things are going okay for you and lots of big hugs.  Thinking of you always and rooting for you every step of the way.  

MrsLondon – Yes, all off the binky three months ago.  He’s doing well.  He’s a big boy, but finally starting to get a little slimmer from activity.  He said his first words yesterday – Mom and Ball.  He also waves every time we wave at him and can sit up on his own.  He can crawl backwards, but not forwards yet and can pull himself up to standing.  Isn’t it crazy that you went from none to three all in just a couple of years!!!  It’s crazy how life changes from one day to the next!

AFM – doing really good and happy.  My marriage is a lot stronger now than it ever has been.  I was glad to stand up to MIL and get it out there.  My DH really had my back the whole time.  We went on a school tour last week for baby and it was the most grown up thing I’ve ever done!  Signed him up on the waiting list for entry in Fall 2020, so fingers crossed he gets admitted.  It’s a beautiful school and I would just love to see him go there.  Hope everyone else is good!!


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## Catf2008

Hello All 

I hope you are all well 

Katfish - how did the appointment go today? 

Mrslondon - I can't believe it's not long till little ones arrive, do you have everything set?

MrsRL - try not to worry about the growth scans, we had them as they said she was measuring small at 28 weeks & she was 8lb when born & they thought she had a big head (still do) 

Mrs chef - I can't believe you have already looked at schools, I refuse to think that Scarlett will ever go to school as I don't want to be without her 

AFM - well things have been very stressful here still, I got a cool the other as hubby had collapsed at work and missed hitting a marble table, it's back to the drawing board as they don't think it's his heart now but his blood test results have to be completed as they showed a possible inactive thyroid. As for Scarlett well we have started to make some improvements, we got her some proper shoes & she finally took some steps while holding a hand, we have follow ups next month for her ear & hip so fingers crossed for those.


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## Katfish

MrsRL - how did the house move go? Ours is going ok we have had a deadline given to us by the sellers which is a pain as they say they will pull out if it's not met and in the meantime our buyers are being annoying! But hopefully will get all back on track by the middle of next week. Things have there ups and downs between us still but we are having a few more good days which is good! I'm sure that it is hard not to worry after your app! I hope that all goes well with your consultant appointment have you got a date for it? 

MrsLondon - sorry to hear your struggling at the moment and that your not feeling too great! Not too much longer for you to go now! Bet you can't wait!

MrsChef - oh wow looking at schools for 2020! Is it a private school that your looking at then to need to do that?

Catf - oh no I'm glad that he didn't hit his head that's not good at all! Hopefully they can get it all sorted soon! Ahhhh very exciting about the steps!!! Good luck for the appointments!

AFM - the appointment went well, they have done yet another AMH. My original one from 2015 was something like 7.2, this one was 13.0 so up slightly but the trauma to my ovaries may have caused it to drop since our last cycle when I had 60eggs! He has agreed that the one from 2015 was most likely low because of the contraception that I was on at the time. He's happy for us to go on with Embryo Harvesting and thinks it's a good idea. I personally can't see the new AMH he has done being any different but he seems to think it may be otherwise he wouldn't be doing it! So now I have to wait to hear from the nurses who will book me in for the planning appointment and he thinks we need to sign all of the bits again as they would be out of date. In regards to preventing OHSS again he has suggested using a different trigger which reduces the risk but because we are not putting eggs back in then it's ok to use. Buserelin I think it was. So we are just waiting to hear from them and then will get on with treatment. Just praying that I'm not so ill with it again!


----------



## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

Katfish your appointment sounds quite positive   and your AMH doesn't sound low at all. Lots of people use Buserelin from what I've heard so I'm sure you will be fine. Do let us know when you get your treatment date. How's Sean and things between you now?

Catf - sorry to about DH hope his health improves, I can only imagine how stressful it must be but things sound really positive with Scarlett. Has she been walking more since? 

MrsChef - Can't believe you're looking at schools already!! And he's on the list. I take it it's a private school? Aww it's lovely when they start communicating more. Great first words too, dada is usually first as it's easier so Max seems quite advanced. You're right it's so crazy that I'll be a mum of three in a few weeks when two years ago there was the chance that I wouldn't even have been a mum of one!!

MrsRL - I'll message you in a bit...phone is in the office and I'm currently with year 7's watching a DVD  

AFM - it's my last growth scan tomorrow and I'll find out mode of delivery and date of section/induction. I shall let you know how it goes.

Lots of love to you all xxx


----------



## mrschef04

Katfish - that sounds pretty good and happy about your AMH.  How are things going with Sean?

Catf - I hope things get better with DH.  I feel the same way about my baby.  I don't want to be away from him more than I have to be, but it's very hard financially on us.  My part-time job isn't paying as well as it could, but no part-time jobs do.

MrsLondon - good luck with the growth scan tomorrow!  I can't believe it!

Yes, guys, it's a nightmare in London and it's a private school, but only one of those first come, first served places.  It was absolutely beautiful and I think it will be the most important thing for baby other than anything else.


----------



## MrsRL

MrsChef - thanks for the information, hopefully it is a good sign and hopefully things will work out ok for us in the end. I appreciate your support  We should find out more on Wednesday. So pleased to hear all is good with you and that your marriage is stronger than ever. Wow! You really have got to sign up early for school then, that must have been strange but definitely a good idea to get baby into the best school  

Catf - thanks for the information, it's reassuring to hear you went through the same and all was good in the end. Did you have to go for regular growth scans and be consultant led? Sorry to hear things are stressful for you, that sounds really scary with your hubby and I'm so glad he didn't hit the marble table. So pleased to hear Scarlett has improved and has taken some steps  I hope the follow ups on her ears and hips go well. 

Katfish - house moving is definitely stressful, are you back on track with it now? Glad to hear you are having more good days and I hope that continues. Glad to hear your appointment went well, it's great that he has agreed for you to do embryo harvesting. It's great that they are trying to avoid OHSS again. I really hope it goes smoothly for you and you're not ill with it this time. Keep us updated  The house move went well in the end, after a few hiccups along the way where money was missing and hadn't reached the solicitors, despite the fact it left our account!! We moved in on 7th July and were both off last week, so have managed to get quite settled. Thank you for your support, our appointment for the scan and consultant is this Wednesday. 

MrsLondon - look forward to your message  so excited for you for tomorrow! 

Hello to anyone else reading xxx


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## Catf2008

MrsRL - we were consultant led from our 12 week scan as we were classed as high risk (ivf & diabetes due to my dad) but we only scan booked at 28 weeks which led to further scans at 32 & 36 & thank god we did as my midwife kept saying she was head down when she was actually breech 

MrsChef - my heart goes for people that have to work as it's so hard, I'm lucky as hubby earns enough that I've been able to build up my business that's paying for our holidays

MrsLondon- good luck with the growth scan today 

Katfish - I'm glad the appointment went well & fingers crossed it won't be long before you are going to harvest some embryos 

AFM - well hubby has had repeat bloods done today, so hopefully we will get some answers in 10 days time, we are back at the heart clinic next month as he has a chip in his chest monitoring his heart beat & it showed there was no change in it so it's back to the drawing board with them but we should have the results of the blood test before his next appointment so if that's showing anything it could explain it all.  Scarlett is doing a few steps as long as she is holding someone's hands, she won't let go & she still can't stand on her own without falling over, I'm guessing we will be referred for physiotherapy at our next appointment.  As for me, my little self employed businesses are picking up and I'm earning a good income from them now on a monthly basis.


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## MrsLondon

Hi everyone  

Just to let you know that scan went well, both babes are head down, placentas are clear and I have been booked in for a sweep Monday with induction on Wednesday!! It's all very surreal and I haven't had time to digest it yet as I've come back to work. Worried about dates too as according to ivf dates I'm a week behind the NHS ones, therefore worried that it's too early to be induced. 

Catf - glad your businesses are picking up, it's great that you're able to work from home. Hope the physio helps Scarlett and that dh's test results come back all clear. 

Xx


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## Katfish

MrsLondon - I'm glad that the scan went well! How many weeks are you on both sides i.e. NHS and IVF? Oh wow  so your hands may be full very very soon!!
Exactly the only thing is that if I have the buserelin injection and had embies put back in then there would be an issue with my hormone levels because oddly my hormone levels didn't rise very much which was unusual and made them even more surprised to find 60eggs! So if we did a fresh cycle we would need to follow up with another injection of something else afterwards to boost the hormones. All very confusing to me. 
Things with the two of us had been fine but then seem to have gotten into an argument again tonight doesn't help in my mind that in the last few weeks I have discovered that at least 5 friends have mine have just split up from there long term partners all bar one where married. Makes me think slightly whether we are actually going to make it through this. 

MrsChef - I've explained above how things are with Sean and I to MrsLondon. Glad that the school is lovely and fingers crossed that it is all successful!

MrsRL - the selling of our house is on tender hooks at the moment! Turns out a chimney breast that was removed years and years ago wasn't supported with a steal beam  so doesn't comply with building regs. So we are now battling with that! The buyers don't want to pull out and loose the sale but we are going to have to adjust the house price to allow them to fund the work! So stressful!
Oh no that sounds like a right pain with your house move and the last thing that you wanted to happen. Thinking of you later on today for your appointment. I am suprised that you where not being Consultant lead anyway because of it being an IVF pregnancy. They missed it for me but when I had a trip to MAU it was sorted and they got me put onto the IVF consultant list (the consultant also happens to work at OUF).

Catf - what's your business? Glad that Scarlett is doing well with her walking she will get there eventually and then you will be wishing she wasn't when your having to keep running around after her  good luck with you DH's tests. When I had loads of things going on Gynae wise in the past I would hope that the bloods or scan or whatever would come back showing something. This was just so that then there would be a reason for it and then it could be sorted out but when things came back normal it felt like a huge let down! So I really do sympathise with you both on that one! It's so very hard!

AFM - so I had my letter back from OFU which has my AMH result and which is normal at 27.0 I almost cried reading that! The stress that was caused initially being told it was only 7.2 when that was obviously incorrect! And why is the NHS's results so so different to the clinics private one?!?!?! 
Anyway now we are very thrown on what to do! Do we wait and then do a whole fresh cycle when we are allowed to put an embryo in and have the risk of delaying the situation even more if I get OHSS again. Or do we continue with the idea of Egg harvesting so hopefully we have more frozen embryos to work with. Being as the AMH is normal the need to harvest isn't so high and the only benefit would be to stop the delay at a later date in case of OHSS! So now to figure it out! Any thoughts are welcome with open arms. (Basically no matter what we will go an egg collection and save our frozen embie just need to decide when to do it)


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## mrschef04

MrsRL – shout out to you today and thinking of you as you get more information.  Sending nothing but positive vibes.

Catf – me too.  I literally would be in pieces if I had to go back to full-time work now.  I just feel so lucky to be able to be away from baby only 5 hours every day.  I leave at 8.15am and back by 1.30pm.  I still get to go to the baby classes in the afternoons and have a nap with baby afterwards.  It’s heaven and I am grateful every day.  I’m glad Scarlett is starting to do a few steps.  That’s great that your business is doing well and I’m hoping that everything will be okay with hubby.

MrsLondon – have you brought up your concerns of early inducing to the doctors?  What did they say?  Glad that the rest is all standard and looking good!  So happy for you!

Katfish – I’m in the group of egg harvesting now, so you get the process going, but only you know your body best.  That’s what I always think.  Oh and in my 30s, there was a huge spate of divorces/deaths/changes during that time.  It always happens.  Some couples make it through and some don’t.  I know it’s discouraging to see your friends split up, but don’t compare your relationship to others.  Just keep going with it.  Sometimes, I think, the best and strongest relationships are those that go through tough times, have a few arguments and they come back stronger.  There’s one of my favourite films where the girl says, “Nobody thinks it will work, do they?”  And her boyfriend replies, “No.  You just described every great success story.”  It is something I always think about when I want to do something my way.  Do it your way and what makes you happy.  Don’t worry about the rest.  A lot of the worst relationships I’ve seen never argued, always looked happy on the outside, but in reality, the relationship just died.  Big hugs.

AFM – Sitting here, excited like a dork because I get to go to my baby’s beach party at his play group.  There’s nothing like sitting there and watching his face as he looks up at bubbles all around him and laughs.  Yes, the schools are a bit tricky in London (to answer everyone’s question).  The decent state schools aren’t near enough to my catchment area and the ones next to me are absolutely dreadful.  So, we decided to go private.  It’s not a bad school, as the fees mirror sending your child to nursery and the facilities are fantastic.  The hot lunch is very healthy and tasty.  The extracurricular activities are amazing.  The children have great manners and are very polite and it’s a mixed range of ethnicities and a boy/girl school, so we were quite happy.  I just pictured my beautiful son there and seeing him happy and it was just the best image on the planet.  Hope everyone is well.  My periods have gotten back to normal, but I find them weird.  They are heavy, last only one day and come on every four weeks.  I’m wondering if that means I’m going through menopause early.  Any thoughts?


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## MrsRL

Thanks for your support as always ladies. Just an update from me after today, we had the scan and consultant appointment earlier. The scan showed steady growth, and although small still, growth was still along the line. We saw the consultant afterwards and she wasn't worried at all and said that as I'm petite, I'm likely to have a small baby and what they were looking for was increased growth and as they could see that, and baby is above 10th centile they're not worried. Baby is approx 3lb. She also said the appointment was more to reassure me than anything  could have said that before worrying us so much!! I have been signed back to midwife care and the midwife can send me back for a scan if concerned! I'm sure I will still measure small on fundal measurements, but have to see! Very relieved for now!!

Catf - I hope you get some answers for your hubby, it must be worrying being in limbo and not knowing. It sounds like Scarlett is doing well and hopefully physiotherapy can help her further. That's great news that you're self employed businesses are doing so well 

MrsLondon - have messaged you separately 

Katfish - sorry to hear you and Sean had an argument last night. You have been through so much together and you seem strong together, so hopefully you will come through it all  What a nightmare with the house and the chimney breast, not what you need!! It does sound really stressful, house buying and selling is stressful enough as it is. We're glad we're in the house now and feel a lot happier now that we are  It was a nightmare at the time though and not needed! Thanks for your support. In my area they don't do consultant led just for IVF, unless there are other risk factors. They originally referred me to consultant led care, but weren't interested so said I could be midwife led, as they think it's the same as any other pregnancy once pregnant. Great news with your AMH result! I would personally do egg harvesting while your AMH is so good so you have the reassurance of having embies in the bank. As Mrs Chef said though, you know your body the best.

MrsChef - Thanks for your support  Aww hope you enjoyed baby's beach party!! It sounds like you have found the perfect school, so happy for you! I'm afraid I can't help with your periods, might be worth getting it checked out though? I assume they can change after baby?!

Hello to everyone else! Take care ladies xxx


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## mrschef04

MrsRL-Thanks goodness!!  OMG, I have a few tears in my eyes.  I'm so happy and relieved for you. Eat loads and rest up loads.  Will write more later but just so so happy for you honey!


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## MrsRL

Awww thank you MrsChef, I really do appreciate your support xx


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## Stini

Hello all! MrsChef gave me a little nudge about the happy news. So glad to hear about the pregnancies - you guys really do deserve it. Makes my heart very glad indeed.
I have an actual running, climbing, talking toddler on my hands. He has just mastered "hello", "yes", "no" (that one getting a big workout) and basic food words.
So very pleased and sending much love to you all.
Xxx


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## MrsLondon

Stini - lovely to hear from you, Fergus sounds exactly like Annika, she's my little tearaway Tasmanian Devil. 

MrsChef - Beach party sounds cool  I bet it was really lovely to watch. I loved taking Annika to sensory but my mum takes her now as I don't have the energy to run after her at the moment. The school you have chosen sounds lovely too. I bet Max will love it there. We are in a pretty crappy catchment area too for state schools so we will probably move by the time Annika gets to school ages. 

Katfish - Your AMH results are amazing! So fabulous. Perhaps see what the consultant says? Embryo harvesting might feel like you're getting the ball rolling but might not be needed? So next week according to my dates I'll be 36 weeks and according to the NHS I'll be 37. That's weird about the hormones and Burserelin. I'm sorry to hear about your argument with Sean, things are pretty crappy with me and DH too at the moment, he's so depressed with work that it really really is affecting him at home and he's just so miserable ALL the time.

AFM - Spoke to the consultant yesterday and she was actually really nice and reassured me so we are going with her suggestion and next Wednesday I will be induced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xxx


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies, hope you're all ok.

Stini - it is lovely to hear from you  It sounds like things are going really well with Fergus, so happy for you!

I often think of the original ladies from this board and wonder how everyone is doing xx


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## Catf2008

Stini - lovely to hear from you x

MrsChef - that sounds amazing to be st a beach party for little one 

Katfish - what a hard decision to make, great news your AMH is good. See I'm a prevention person so I'd probably go for harvesting embryos but you'll need to a word with your consultant to see which is the best move.

MrsLondon - I hope everything is ok 

AFM - well we had horrible news yesterday, Scarlett had another follow up for her hearing (been going every 3/4 months after she failed her newborn hearing) and turns out that there is a high possibility that she has permanent hearing loss in her right ear, we have to go back again at the end of November to have it checked and see what's happening, they managed to repeat the test that was done as newborn and that shows that the problem is worse than before but until she is older they won't be able to confirm 100%  let's hope her hip appointment goes better next week


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## mrschef04

MrsLondon - Hope it has all gone well.

MrsRL - hope you're okay and that things are checking out okay.

Catf - I'm so very sorry for everything that is going on.  What are the other options, if any, going forward to help her hearing?  I do hope her hips check out okay.  There is still hope for a lot of things, so please don't worry so much and I am giving you lots of big hugs.  Please keep us updated and we are here if you need us. xx


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## MrsLondon

Catf - sorry to hear that about Scarlett's hearing. 

Thanks for asking after me girls, just to let you know, we welcomed two darling boys into the world last Friday the 28th July at 13.33 and 13.45 pm. They weighed 5lbs and 6lbs 2oz we are in love all over again. The labour was tough but I managed to deliver naturally with only gas and air, which I am so pleased about as looking after Annika too would have been near impossible if I had had a section. I'm exhausted but happy. 

Xxx


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## Catf2008

Mrschef - until it's confirmed we know what treatment there is & im staying away from google lol we know she has some hearing in it but it's now the wait to see how much, I'm guessing she could possibly end up with a hearing aid if it's bad enough x


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## MrsRL

Catf - so sorry to hear your news about Scarlett, I hope there is something they can do to help her. Fingers crossed her hip appointment goes well. Please keep us updated x

MrsChef - how are things with you?

Mrs London - will message you separately 

Hello to Katfish and anyone else reading.

AFM - I am 33 weeks today. Busy with the house and antenatal classes etc now. Finish work in just under 3 weeks. I hope everyone is ok xxx


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## mrschef04

MrsLondon - congratulations honey.  I'm so glad you got a decent delivery to keep you going, although with all of the difficulty.  

Catf - I hope there are some possibilities in the pipeline.  I know what you mean - google can keep you awake at night.

MrsRL - glad that you are 33 weeks and that you finish work soon.  I'm just so glad you've gotten through it.  Have you purchased everything?  

AFM - baby is good.  We have a health visitor check up for his 8-12 month.  He turns one in just two months.  Can you believe it?  Poor thing has fallen off a couple of things lately, as he gets more mobile, so we're keeping him on the ground for now.  He is a lovely little dude and I just feel like we're best mates.  He ended up getting offered a nursery place that we've been on a waiting list for 18 months now.  In the end, as much as he loves his nanny, we are going to send him when he's 13 months old.  He will still only be there 5 hours a day, Monday to Friday, but I am nervous of him being outside home and in a nursery setting.  I think at 13 months, he will be just fine and because he will probably be a lot more mobile, I think it will be better that he has such a big outdoor space and lovely nursery environment to go to each day.  The place is lovely - it's located on a farm in the middle of a park, a massive playground in the back with tons of grass and playhouses and animals visit all the time.  The inside is not clinical and has five rooms just for babies - sleep room, quiet reading room, dress up with costumes and a play home and a messy play/sandbox area, so I feel good about it.  Plus, he will be there for the next three years.  I won't be increasing my hours until he is back in school, so he has mommy around all the time still.  I'm just nervous.  Our nanny is good, but once he's fully mobile, I worry about his safety with her (she kind of lacks common sense - in the most diplomatic sense) and it's hard because when she wants to take time off for doctor appointments or holiday, I have to do the same.  It just doesn't work after a while and on top of that, I already work from home on days that baby is sick, so I just can't be too greedy with my time at work.  Am I being selfish?  Will baby be okay?


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## Catf2008

I'll write more later but just a quick one, we had Scarlett's hip appointment today and we got given the all the clear & have now been discharged from the hip clinic


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## mrschef04

Catf, so happy you got good news on her hips.  I was waiting to hear from you.  So everything is all good then?  She's a fighter that one.  I would love to see her turn into the strongest woman in the world one day.  

MrsLondon, how are things going for you?  Didn't want to write such a long message.  I'm sure you're absolutely shattered right now.  I'm actually beginning to wonder if I should leave the door open for another baby.


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## Katfish

MrsChef – At the moment life is pretty crazy and I’m sure that the stress of that at the moment will not help with getting good embies. Going to leave things be for a little bit and when things settle down we will either egg harvest or wait until we are able to do a fresh cycle. I am tempted now to leave it till the fresh cycle with the new AMH but DH still thinks to harvest. Glad that you have managed to get the nursery place. It will be good for him to have that interaction before he has to start to go to school. It is very understandable your frustration with the nanny. But that is the big downside with going that route with childcare unfortunately. Is there not someone else who can cover her holidays? I was thinking if you where going to start to think that about having another baby!
MrsRL – I was surprised I wasn’t and then when I had my trip to MAU they said I should have been its all very confusing. Each area do there own thing. Some will induce at 37wks just because its IVF and will not let you go a day over 40wks.
Stini – Lovely to hear from you I’m glad all is going well with your little man. 
MrsLondon – The consultant doesn’t mind either way. The main reason for wanting to do it now is to not delay any further with OHSS like last time! A HUGE CONGRATULATIONS on the birth of your two boys very happy for you I’m glad that all was well for them both and you managed to go without a c-section. I hope that you are all continuing to do well. Will await to hear on some names! I hope you are all managing ok.
Catf – A prevention person? The consultant is happy no matter which way we choose at the end of the day they are not going to say no to money!! Haha! 
So sorry to hear about Scarlett’s hearing appointment is her hearing ok on the other side? She looks like a very happy cheery girl in your picture. Glad that her Hip app was all ok and she was discharged.
AFM – Well life has been very crazy recently so firstly I’m sorry for being away for a while you have all be on my mind. We moved to our new house on the 31st which was rather stressful to get to that point and the house is still not straight. Its hard seeing the room that was there for Flo but I just have to remind myself that we will have another little one who we will be able to bring up in that room and in a way it makes the room even more special. 
Things with Sean and I have remained up and down but we are still sticking together at the moment I’ve had many teary days or times on the matter including yesterday when waking up with less than 5hours sleep and coming to work didn’t add to the matter! I am now working almost full time! Each week when I am meant to do full hours more appointments come up and stop me from managing it. 
Sean is having to be admitted to a local hospital on Monday which is going to be rather stressful for up to two weeks so I now have this to deal with too to be fed into his veins (TPN) then he will have to remain on this for a few months prior to his operation but he will have to do this at home overnight! We both just want this to be over already!!! I dread leaving work to go home to deal with him but at the same time I just want to go home as I have had enough here or am worried about him.

Sorry for the essay! I hope everyone else is well!


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## Catf2008

MrsLondon - huge congratulations on the birth, you must be very busy 

Katfish - Scarlett's hearing is perfect on the other side so we know that she can hear, she is very cheery hardly ever cries. I hate moving house it's so stressful, I'm glad you are thinking positive about the room which is great, I hope everything goes ok with Sean 

MrsChef - yep all is good with her hips, he said she has supple hips which is why she isn't walking yet but said she will do it in her own time she is now walking around the sofa so I don't think it will be far away, yes she is a fighter she has over come so much in her life I can see great things for her in the future. 

Hello to anyone else

AFM - we have been doing a lot of talking recently and we have both agreed that as we stand we really don't want any more children so I'm off to the doctors next week to get some sort of contraception, plus we have a huge holiday booked for next year and I don't want to cancel due to having a baby or being pregnant, I thought I would be upset but I'm actually not, in a way it's kind of nice knowing this is our family & Scarlett really is everything we want


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## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

Sorry I haven't been in touch. As you can imagine life is very hectic. Luca and Aairun are 2.5 weeks old now. I'm finding it hard getting ourselves into any kind of order but am really happy and feel incredibly blessed.

Catf - that's great about Scarlett's hips 😊 How's her walking going now? Your holiday sounds lovely, where you off to? 

MrsChef - ahhh its lovely that you are leaving the door open for another baby. 

Katfish - sorry to hear about the constant up and downs you're having with Sean. Fingers crossed things will settle after his op.

Sorry it's all a bit brief, life is hugely different now, busy is an understatement. Lots of love to you all.
Xxx


----------



## Katfish

CatF - that's great news that her hearing is good on the other side. 

MrsLondon - such lovely names! I bet those two and a half weeks have flown by!

AFM - in ways I hate this time that Sean's in hospital but also I think we both need this bit of space! He was in a ok mood most of yesterday then when it was coming to time I was to leave he turned into a fowl mood. We have been watching a series called Outlander and spent a lot of the day watching that. Then an episode came on where she lost her little one and everything came flooding back the memories of just what it was like. I had to turn it off as I was holding back the tears and hand to suck them back in. I do think it pulled on Sean's heart strings a bit too! But he didn't say anything either. 
He was in a good mood today even though the man opposite him snores like a pig and it's so loud then complained all day to everyone he didn't sleep! (More like nobody else slept because of him snoring loudly all night till midday!) luckily this man who also likes to walk around in tight boxes which don't leave much to the imagination is being discharged tomorrow! Hopefully he will get a nice person move in instead!


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies, sorry I've been awol.

MrsChef - glad to hear baby is good. Wow can't believe he will be one so soon. Time flies!! It's so lovely to hear you're best mates, you sound so happy  The nursery sounds like it will be brilliant for him. I don't think you're being selfish at all, it sounds like it will be a great experience for him and you have clearly looked into getting him into the best place for him  We have got near enough everything now I think, I've even started packing the hospital bags now which makes it feel even more real!

Catf - so pleased to hear Scarlett's hip appointment went so well and she has been discharged. Such good news.  It sounds like you have made the right decision for you with regards to more children. Glad you're happy with your decision.

Katfish - my area definitely don't do consultant led because of IVF, I'm not even that far away from you. It's very strange how they do it so differently. So happy for you that you have moved into your house, how has it been so far? Is there much that needs doing? I can understand totally about it being stressful, it was when we moved too! I can imagine it must be very difficult seeing the room that would have been Flo's. It definitely makes it even more special that another little one will be brought up in there and I'm sure Flo will be looking out for them too. Sorry to hear things are still up and down with Sean. I hope once he's had his op that things continue to improve between you. You have been through so much together. How is he recovering now? I hope he had a nice person move in next to him on the ward.

Hello to everyone else.

AFM - I am now 36+2. I have now finished work, I've got 3 weeks annual leave including this week and then start maternity leave a week before my due date. The midwife appointments at 34 and 36 weeks said baby was breech and both have been wrong as proved by scans! He has always been head down by them. I also had a student midwife measure me 3cm below what I actually am when the midwife checked, she put me behind the time before! Everything seems to be fine with baby at the moment and things are busy here getting ready for baby and sorting the house. I'm glad I'm now off work now though as it gives me more time. Take care ladies xx


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## mrschef04

MrsRL - so glad that everything is good and you're on leave.  I am so excited for you and it's amazing that you have been allowed to get this far.

Catf - Glad Scarlett is starting to wander around and that her hip appointment went well.  I completely get you on children.  I think I'll leave the door open and stay off birth control, but as before, it was a less than 1% chance of having a baby before, so it could be that my odds aren't in my favour of having another one.  Financially and marriage-wise, I think having another child would put too much strain on us.  We are very happy and I can tell my little guy is very attached to me.

Katfish - I'm sorry to hear about things with Sean.  I really hope things improve and that he is recovering.  I know that times are hard, but I find that it surprises me how much my marriage has changed through all of the hard times.  

MrsLondon - if you would like some clothes for older boys, let me know.  I have a few things I would love to send you.  PM me.

AFM - Baby started saying Mama and he's almost one year old.  We have had our ups and downs this year too - especially, financially.  I ended up having to consolidate and get rid of debt, but it has been worth it in the end.  I feel a lot less stressed and more in control of my life now.  We have a new lodger, who is really respectful, and only five weeks left with my nanny.  As baby is starting to get more and more active, I definitely think he needs nursery to keep him interested in things.  I am grateful that I get to work part-time and be a mother.  It means time is going a lot slower for me and everyone that meets little baby Max says he's the happiest baby they have ever seen.  My part-time job barely makes a dent in our finances because of the cost of childcare versus my wages and I barely make much anyway, but the job title is good and I don't think I could handle working full-time at this company I'm at anyway.


----------



## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

Currently tandem feeding both babies on my twin nursing pillow so have a spare min. 

Kat- how was Sean's op? Is he out now?

MrsChef - how lovely that Max says Mumma, it's the best when they start talking. It sounds like you have a good balance and I'm glad the lodger is working out for you. At one point we considered a lodger but now it wouldn't work. That's so sweet of you re the clothes but i feel bad for you having to pay for the postage. I think nursery will do Max the world of good, Annika has come on leaps and bounds since she started at hers. 

MrsRL - I got your message, I'll reply soon I promise.

AFM - the boys are 5 weeks tomorrow would you believe!? They are still so small though. Only now are they starting to become more alert and even then not by much. Annika is so grown up it seems, she talks a lot and understands a great deal more. We are slowly finding our feet as a family of five. I've had a lot of help and wouldn't be able to do any of this without the support of my family and DH. Breastfeeding would be a no go that's for sure. It's hard work but I love them all so so much xxx


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## Catf2008

Hello All 

Mrs chef - how is little nearly 1 already that's gone so fast

Mrslondon- I'm glad to hear All is going well & that you are getting help, I know a friend of mine that has twins says it's such hard work & she needed so much help 

MrsRL- can't believe it's on,y a few weeks till baby is due, I have no faith in midwives as they always said baby was head down & she was always breech

Katfish - how is Sean doing now? 

AFM - well Scarlett is just amazing this last week we have gone from letting go with hand to totally letting this morning, she will now walk along the furniture at great speed so I really don't think it will be that long before she is off and walking.  I'm feeling so positive at the moment we're getting on better since the choice to have no more children, work is getting into a busy period (who knew being an avon rep & on a sales leader team could be so rewarding) and hubby is starting to get feel better in himself as well but i expect that to change next month as we hit the first anniversary of his dad passing away.


----------



## MrsRL

Hi lovely ladies 

MrsChef- thank you for your lovely words  can't believe baby is almost a year old and so lovely that he's started saying Mama  I'm glad things are working out for you and your lodger is really respectful. It sounds like Max will really thrive in nursery. I'm so glad that you're able to work part time and have a good balance of working and being a Mummy.

MrsLondon - have messaged you separately 

Catf - I can't believe it either haha! I always have students doing a lot of the Midwife appointment, which I don't like. Only a scan can tell for sure which way baby is and I don't like the measurements either. It sounds like Scarlett is doing brilliantly and she will be walking around in no time. So glad to hear you're feeling so positive. It sounds like work is going really well too, glad to hear that you are managing to do that and spend such precious time with Scarlett  I'm also glad that your hubby is starting to feel better, I'm sure next month will be very difficult for him and I hope he can get through it as best he can.

Katfish - how is Sean recovering? I hope you're ok and enjoying your new house.

AFM - I'm now 37+1, it feels such a relief to get here but also doesn't feel real at times still. Our house is beginning to feel more like home now that we have had carpets and flooring laid this week, feel so much happier with it now we're putting our own stamp on it  I hope you're all ok xxx


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## mrschef04

MrsRL - Wow, that has gone by fast!  Just remember!  I gave birth at 37 1/2 weeks!  Lol!  I know.  I think I only was able to fully let go that it wasn't a dream was about a week ago.  I just stopped and remember giving birth to him and I am just so happy and grateful I was able to do all of this.  

MrsLondon - fair enough, but wow!  A family of five!  You must be exhausted, but happy!  Despite Annika being grown up, you still see her as your little baby, right?  

Catf - That's wonderful news about Scarlett and I'm glad that hubby is feeling better with himself.  I feel the same way about more children.  I'm very happy with how we are now and that I feel we can provide better with just one child, rather than two (MrsLondon has it great, as her hubby works for a school), but I've left it open for possible natural conception, if it happens.  

AFM - Yes, feeling good.  He is saying mamamamamama, but not specifically yet.  I'm not quite sure, as I'm always around him anyway.  Lol!  My days are busy and I'm always with baby and playing with him or taking him to a group or swimming or the park.  He loves it and we love being together.  Yes, I reckon he will definitely thrive in nursery.  He's now becoming so curious and crawling everywhere, so the nursery environment will definitely do him some good, but I am nervous about him not being at home or with mommy.  I know he will fret that I'm not with him at first, but as it's such a short time every day, I hope it won't be too traumatic.  My husband and I talked about it a lot and we both believe in me working part-time for good anyway.  Even when baby is at school, I can then volunteer to be part of the parents' group and help out/volunteer at his school a bit.  I really want him to have the childhood that I never had and it feels so wonderful to feel I'm having that with him too.


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies, it's very quiet on here at the moment.

MrsChef - haha, I'm 38 weeks today so happy for baby to come anytime now. I think after everything we go through to get here, it is very hard to believe when it happens! It sounds like your days are filled up with some great things  I'm sure Max will thrive at nursery. Great idea for you to remain working part time and get the best of both worlds  

How is everyone else?

AFM - I'm 38 weeks today and had my midwife appointment. For the last couple of days in the evening/night I have been really itchy, particularly on the palms of my hands and bottom of my feet. I've now had bloods taken to check for obstetric cholestasis (a liver condition) and I will get a call from the day assessment unit at the hospital tomorrow if the results are abnormal. I really hope it's not that, but will let you know if so, as I think they tend to induce women with the condition. I'm glad they're on the ball and testing me though as don't want to put me or baby at risk and as I'm classed as term, baby could come anytime now. xx


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## MrsRL

Just a quick one from me and will do personals when I get chance.

Baby Ryan Matthew arrived Friday 15th September at 15.27 weighing 6pounds 13oz. Birth wasn't quite as planned but he's here safely  I had to be induced as I had obstretic cholestasis and it was safer for him to be born xx


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## mrschef04

Oh MrsRL!  Congratulations!  I think we have been a rather hardy group of women on this board.  Can you believe that it was just over two years ago and we couldn't quite believe we would ever get here?  Hope you are enjoying every moment honey!!! xx. Lots of big hugs!


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## MrsRL

Thanks MrsChef. It is unbelievable! I just hope everyone on here gets their dream soon xx


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## Catf2008

Congratulations MrsRL that's such great news xx


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## MrsLondon

MrsRL - i know I've told you already but a massive congratulations again. 

MrsChef, Catf and Katfish - how are you gals doing? 

We are ok, the boys are 8 weeks today, the nights are still super hard and long with feeds still every 2 hours or less at times. I'm going to try and be a little stricter with myself if I can and not co-sleep and co-feed but that's eaiser said than done when there are two of them. Annika is fine, she's a little madam, knows her mind and isn't afraid to show it 😂. She's doing so well adapting to her brothers.

Xxx


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## Catf2008

Meslondon - wow 8 weeks already that's gone fast, I hope the nights start to get better soon 

AFM - well we are just plodding along, Scarlett is walking as long as she is holding onto the furniture & every so often lets go & shocks herself lol we're approaching a year since hubbys dad passed away so things are getting a little stressed here but Scarlett makes it all easier


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## Katfish

MrsRL - ahhh congratulations! You have been in my mind recently! I hope your all doing well!

AFM - sorry I have been on and off of here but haven't responded! Things just are so up and down at the moment. I'm coming home exhausted as don't sleep properly. And I'm getting pretty fed up with people asking how long ago the accident happened! Do they not think? I don't want to know how long ago I lost Flo and how old she would be now all the time! Thing is people just don't think in these kind of situations and they are not asking for those reasons but it's so frustrating! 
I'm getting a bit more panicked in the car I don't think it helped at a deer jumped out in front of us and we only just missed it and the next day drove past two cars at the side of the road and a deer in a pile next to them. Plus getting worried about the shorter days! Hopefully we will have a date for Sean's op this week and we can have something to aim for.


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## Catf2008

Katfish - I can't believe people are asking how long ago it was, it's not something you really want to remember  I hope that driving gets easier for you & fingers crossed you get a date soon for the op 

How is everyone else? 

AFM - we've had a rough few nights with Scarlett as she has a cold & has taken up sleeping with us as she just wants cuddles. My juice plus business slowed down (think to many people do it now) but I've been doing Avon as well with mum & we've now become a Sales Leader team & have a team of 10 under us & we've just earnt a £400 bonus ontop of our £180 bonus plus commission as well so that's all going off our Florida Holiday


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## MrsRL

Catf - thank you. It sounds like Scarlett is doing really well with walking. Sorry to hear you're approaching a year since your hubby's dad passed, that must be very difficult for you all. Also sorry to hear Scarlett has been poorly. I hope she's better now. It sounds like Avon is doing really well, good for you! 

Thanks Mrs London  You're doing brilliantly with your lovely family. Glad Annika is so accepting 

Katfish - thank you. That's awful that people are asking about how long ago the accident happened, people can be really insensitive. It's not something you want to think about  I hope that driving gets easier for you the more you do it, I can imagine it must be very difficult. I hope Sean gets a date for his op soon so that you can move forward with that at least. How is your house?

Mrs Chef - hope you're ok 

AFM - Ryan is 17 days old today and it's the first day I am alone looking after him, as hubby has gone back to work. Missing him already as got used to having him here and he's been a brilliant support. I'm sure it will be ok. I'm still recovering very slowly and my stitches had become infected so I'm now on antibiotics and trying to take it easy in general so I can start to feel myself again. Take care ladies xx


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## Catf2008

I hope you are all well, could I ask for some positive vibes our way, we've just learnt that hubby's mum is being admitted to hospital, this really couldn't be happening at a worse time of year as we are just approaching 1 year since hubby lost his dad, I just don't know how we will deal if we lose her as well now


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## MrsRL

Catf - so sorry to hear your news. Sending lots of positive vibes your way and I hope your hubby's Mum recovers soon. So sorry to hear you are going through this. Thinking of you xx


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## mrschef04

MrsLondon - well done for getting through 8 weeks with two..  I don't know how you are doing it, but big hugs to you honey.

Catf - I'm so very sorry about your husband's mother.  I do hope that things will get better and thinking of you loads.  I'm hoping that things continue looking up and that Scarlett is feeling better.

MrsRL - Wow, 17 days already!  I know how you feel.  I absolutely missed my husband after those first two weeks.  It can get rather lonely.  The first three months was bittersweet for me - I loved them and hated them.  I loved them for being able to experience it, but had a hard time truly enjoying it from lack of sleep.  Definitely take it easy.  No matter how much exercise I did through pregnancy and before, I had to rest and literally I've taken it easy on myself for the entire year after birth.

Katfish - I'm so sorry you are having a tough time right now.  I am sending lots of hugs your way.  People lack sensitivity or thought.  I really do hope you get a date for Sean soon and that your house is good. xx

AFM - We had baby's first birthday get together on the weekend (earlier than his actual day) with just his one friend from his class and his friend's parents.  My in-laws, as usual, decided not to come as their "favourite grandson" was in town instead.  It is something that my hubby and I are really upset about.  I'm finally having a frank discussion with my MIL tonight on Skype about it.  Our marriage, although happy and in love, is only in danger because of my MIL and nothing else, so we have to knock it on the head.  Basically, she treats my son like a performing monkey whenever her other favourite grandson is around.  She also tries to make plans without telling us and then tries to bully us into going/doing what she wants.  It's horrible and it got to the point where this past weekend I considered divorce and moving as far away as possible with my son.  I'm ok, but I'm just tired of me and my son being treated like we are just pee-ons to do whatever she wants.  It's really upsetting.  

For my baby, I'm just happy and we have the loveliest bond in the world.  I spend loads of time with him every day and even though the year has flown by fast, I am blessed that time feels like it goes by slowly every day and that I get to be with my son.  It is the final last few days this week with the nanny - I must say, I'll never go with a nanny/childminder situation again.  She started off really well, but as time went on, she just completely got lazy in the job and started taking the **** (i.e. dying her hair and having showers at my home, even though she's only part-time and doesn't live there).  It's just weird.  She also says really snide comments about us and our home, which I've just had enough of.  I finish work on Friday and then I'm off for almost three weeks, chilling out with my husband and son.  We aren't going on holiday, but will just take time off to be together and do nice things around town.  We could use it.  The third week baby has his settling in sessions at his nursery.  I think he needs it a lot and will benefit, as he is so active.  He can pull to stand without hesitation now and can almost stand without holding onto anything, so having the interaction, space, outdoors and activities at nursery will do him good.  It will give him a good balance of 5 hours at nursery and the other 8 with mommy.  Anyway hope everyone else out there is well! lots of hugs and positive vibes to everyone!


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## Catf2008

MrsChef - I really hope to get things sorted with mil, it's horrible when things like this happen, I have a similar issue in that mil tears Scarlett very different to the other 3 grandchildren but as long as you have love for your son that's all that matters, don't let her get in between your marriage & the love you have for each other. 

MrsRL - wow where have those 17 days gone, it hard when hubby goes back to work I hated it, I even hate it when his home for 2 days & goes back to work 

Hello to everyone else 

AFM - well it's all up & down here, mil was placed on oxygen yesterday for an hour, she would go to hospital but we've managed to convince her to ge in for a day stay as she needs a chest X Ray, the horrid C word has. Even mentioned & mil weight has dropped to just 7 stone even though she is eating, so now it's the wait for the x Ray results. 

On a positive note Scarlett is now finally walking with her walker at 17 months so we are very happy with that


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## mrschef04

Catf thank you for the kind words.  I know I don't always say it, but this board means so much to me.  I don't know much if I ever mentioned it, but I'm a foster kid and was homeless for 2 1/2 years when I was released from the system.  It wasn't easy getting to where I'm at and at times, I feel like I'm all alone and it petrifies me to feel like I'm the only one protecting my son. 

I'm so sorry so many things are up and down.  I'm wishing all the best for you and your family.  I'm happy that Scarlett is walking with her walker.  She will be a pretty strong and determined woman one day.  Lots of love and hugs to you.  Thinking of all of you always, in good and bad times.


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## MrsLondon

Hi lovelies,

So sorry to hear the sad news and read of the family struggles. You’d think after all the difficulty we had to have our babies that life would be simpler in other areas but no. What is it about the curse of the MIL’s hey?! Mine is pretty irritating and annoying too. I’m sure I’ve mentioned her throughout. She babies my DH completely and because of his “depression” he acts completely different around her that it winds me up.

MrsChef - you’ve been through so much in your life and you’re such a tough cookie for it. Your child minder did sound a bit odd. Dying her hair at your house?! I’m sure Max is going to thrive at Nursery.

Catf - sorry to hear your troubles with Mil too but horray for Scarlett’s walking. She sounds like she’s doing amazing.

Katfish - hope you’re feeling better and not struggling with driving still. It must be so horrible having people ask all the tim.

MrsRL - how you getting on? I’m sure Ryan is keeping you busy. Message when you can.

It’s seems like everyone just needs a massive hug at the moment xxxx

AFM - we are ok, plodding along. Boys are 10 weeks now. Cooing and smiling at times which is nice. Annika is a little madam, but I love her all the same  I’m really sorry that I haven’t had a chance to reply to you all fully. Time is pressed all the time. You’re all in my thoughts though and I do try and read and check in on you all as much as I can. Xxx


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## Catf2008

There’s been no posts in here for a while so I hope everyone is ok 

We are okish, Scarlett is coming on leaps and bounds, still not walking unaided but happy to walk holding hands and onto something. We had some sad news on Tuesday our dog (our first pet together) has stage 3 heart failure, we have some medication for her & will see on Tuesday if it’s working & if not we will have to let her go. We’ve also found out that Hubbles Mum possibly has stage 1 heart failure so we are waiting on more tests to see what’s happening.

I hope everyone else is ok


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## mrschef04

MrsLondon - hope you're doing okay and getting rest when you can!  Sounds like a lot and I admire you for taking it on so stoically!!

Catf - I'm so sorry about your dog and your husband's mom.  It has been a big rollercoaster for you and I'm giving you lots of hugs.  That sounds great that Scarlett is coming on so well.  Hopefully the walking will continue to improve and she will get stronger.

AFM - Got rid of nanny at the beginning of October.  We had a staycation and took time off and then went to try and settle baby at nursery.  They were very inflexible and when the 2 1/2 hour period came to leave him, he screamed and cried the whole time.  When we got back to get him, he threw his arms around me and hubby and we couldn't get him to let go.  During the time we were waiting for him, my husband just said - so do you want to stay at home instead?  So, that's what I ended up doing.  No more nursery or childcare and I managed to negotiate some time to work from home with the part-time job I'm at.  Hpe everyone is well.


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies!

Catf - it's lovely to hear that Scarlett's coming on in leaps and bounds! 
So sorry to hear about your dog, it's really heartbreaking as they are part of the family! Did the medication work? Sorry to hear about Hubby's Mum too, hope the tests reveal something that can help her. You have certainly had a rollercoaster lately and I hope things improve from now on.

Mrs Chef - glad you got rid of your nanny. Sorry to hear about nursery but it sounds like you've made the right decision for you. Childcare is expensive anyway and hopefully you will both be much happier. That's great you're able to work from home too. It sounds like it's all working out for you, so pleased!

MrsLondon - hi! Thinking of you! I know we have messaged separately too!

Katfish - how are you? I hope you're ok.

AFM - Ryan was 9 weeks old yesterday. We had a bit of a rollercoaster the week before as he was suddenly really upset out of the blue and wouldn't feed, I just knew he wasn't himself at all. I took him to the doctors and was referred to the hospital with a suspected hernia, which is what he had. He had to be operated on at exactly 8 weeks old, which was worrying but apparently it's one of the most common and straightforward ops they do. You wouldn't know now either, as he's doing brilliantly. He's becoming more interactive now and noticing things more, which is lovely  Take care ladies xx


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## Catf2008

MrsRL - sorry to hear about what happened to Ryan must have been very scary for you but glad he is ok, can’t believe he is 9 weeks old already that seems to have gone so fast.

MrsChef - glad you got rid of the nanny and seems like things are going well for you now and being at home with little is great 

AFM - well to start with we still have our dog, her medication has worked we’ve been told that it can keep working anywhere from 4 weeks to 2 years so we are taking every day with her as a blessing and we are enjoying it, she is the first dog we got together 11 years ago so means so much to us. Still waiting on more tests with mil so I don’t think we will have any results before Christmas. Scarlett is back at the hearing centre next week so hopefully we will get some answers on her hearing but I’m not holding my breath lol


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## Catf2008

I hope everyone is ok, just thought I’d give a quick update it’s looking more likely that Scarlett has partial hearing loss in her right ear, we have another hearing test on the 3rd of January to see if they can give us a better answer, on a positive side the hearing loss doesn’t seem to be that bad & looks like she won’t need a hearing aid


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## mrschef04

Hi Everyone!  Sorry I've been so quiet, but it's been hectic with baby. 

Catf - I'm so sorry about Scarlett's partial hearing loss, but I'm really glad that it can still be a positive.  Hopefully you'll get more answers on the 3rd of January.  That is a lot of stress that you have had lately with MIL and your dog.  How is your fur baby?  That must be hard to hear, but I am grateful that you get to have lots of precious days with her.  I have two cats and they are my fur babies too and we call one of our cats our "firstborn" as we got him when I was told I was infertile.  He has always been my little saviour.

MrsRL - I'm just glad it's a common op and nothing too worrying, but it must have been awful for you to see that.  Having a baby so sick is terrifying for me sometimes because they can't communicate anything to you.  I hope that Ryan is doing better.  I like the name.  Is there meaning to it?

AFM - Baby Max caught the nasty virus going around.  He's had 13 colds in the last year, but this was a really horrible one.  The first three nights, he was waking up every 15-30 min crying and screaming.  He had a fever that lasted five days and a terrible chest infection.  The worst bit is seeing him unable to eat or play at all.  It's only yesterday and today where he had some energy and even then, he was out of breath.  It's been a rollercoaster for me, as it's a combination of feeling sympathetic, but also really really annoyed.  A couple of times, I lost it and was just yelling, "what do you want?!"  I literally had to go and sit in the other room for a moment.  It's a combination of the fact that then both my husband and I caught the same thing and yet, I'm so sleep deprived and can't eat either, that it has worn me down.  

Just wanted to say hello to everyone else out there.  I hope you are doing well Katfish, Mrs London and everyone else!


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## mrschef04

I hope everyone is okay.  Just wishing you all a Merry Christmas!


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## Katfish

28 December 2017
22:38

Catf - So glad to hear that Scarlett is now walking!!  Sorry to hear about your Dog and the MIL as has been said its awful what life throws at us! Fingers crossed for the hearing test on the 3rd. 

MrsRL - Can't believe Ryan is getting so old now! Yes hernia's are very common and a fairly simple ob. Was it an inguinal one or belly button? They are very common in preterm babies. I bet you are very relieved that you took him to hospital to check it out!

MrsChef - Sorry to hear that you have been struggling with your MIL they are right pains in the bum when then want to be. My MIL caused so many problems between Sean and I when we where unwell and I just don't understand why she was doing it. Either she was being darn right naïve or was doing it on purpose no idea! I can't believe your little man is now 1!!! How fast time has gone hey! It feels like only yesterday you where telling us of your shocking BFP! So nice to be able to work from home I hope that it is going well and you enjoying not having the stress with Childcare. Sorry to hear that you all had a horrid virus! I had caught it too and it was awful it went around the offices at work!

MrsLondon - Glad to hear the twins are doing well! 

Firstly I would like to say I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas!

AFM - Things have been busy! You all have been in my thoughts and I was wanting to come and sit at the computer and reply as I knew there would have been quite a bit to catch up on! 
Sean finally had his OP on the 13th December which was successful thank goodness! I have no idea how we would have managed if it hadn't gone to plan. The plastic surgeons have also done a really good job with neatening up his tummy and looks like his is going to look so much better than mine. Although minus a belly button!! But who needs one of those! (Less cleaning in the shower hey!!!) We where stressing out just before the op because I came down with an awful cold and then we had 3inches of Snow and op's where being cancelled! Luckily not his though thank god!
Things have been a bit up and down since  the OP I went back to work 5days after and he couldn't cope without me in hospital with him so I ended up exhausting myself further. Going to work for a few hours to do what I needed to do and then to him plus hospital parking again! Then stayed with him getting home having to cook and then basically fell into bed around midnight for another early start! 
Luckily he was discharged on the Thursday before Christmas so we could spend it at home! His bowels are still not great but they are getting used to working again and it will just take sometime! You think your house stinks when you change a smelly baby nappy at the moment I am wishing it was summer and I could open the windows and doors! Things have been a bit gassy! 
Christmas itself was pretty hard on me! This christmas was supposed to be the first of ours in this house with Flo and it just took toll and made me pretty teary! Cheered up a bit later on in the day though. 
We have just booked a holiday for two weeks in an adults only all inclusive hotel in Mauritius in Feb! I can't wait its exactly what we both need! I am just hoping that this next 40days things settle down and we can really relax! We did have to fork out an extra £360 onto our holiday Insurance because of our medical problems though!!!!!  Gotta get back on it with Slimming World again now! 

Anyway, Love to you all and wishing you all a very happy new year!! I am hoping that 2018 is going to be our year! We deserve it!


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## MrsLondon

Happy new year ladies 🎉🎉🎉

Just a really quick one from me as I just can’t catch a break with my hectic life 🙈.

Catf - how was Scarlett’s hearing check on the 3rd?

MrsChef - Sorry to hear Max didn’t take to Nursery too well. Are you a SAH Mum now?

Katf - your holiday sounds bliss!!! I need one of those and you’re doing so so well.

MrsRL - I finally got a chance to check on here following my message the other day 😂

AFM - we are fine, the boys are almost 6 months and I’ve started to wean them onto food. I’m still EBf as they won’t take bottles which has been tough at times. Luca was really unwell in November and was in hospital for three nights due to being unable to breathe properly with broncilities. It was really scary but he’s fine now. Annika is gorgeous but a little madam, she talks so much now and can tell me exactly what she wants which can sometimes be a right pain in the bum when she’s still demanding to watch jingle bells on the YouTube app of our tv 😂😂😂. I was really struggling with sleep deprivation and needy babies for a long while but the last two nights have been eaiser.

Love and hugs to you all. Hope 2018 brings you all wonderful things xxx


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## Catf2008

Hello All

How is everyone doing? Been a while since I popped on 

MrsLondon- how are the boys nearly 6 months already

Katfish - bet you can’t wait for your holiday 

AFM - life seems to be moving by at 100mph at the moment, Scarlett doesn’t seem to sit still at all at the moment which is making me very tired, we had a trip to a&e on the 30th Dec as I couldn’t move fast enough to stop her and she face planted into my mums glass tv stand and got a bump the size of an egg on her head. As for her hearing test, she still wouldn’t co operate with them so we have to go back in 6 months to do the test again, they talked about the possibility that she will need a hearing aid but for now she is chatting away and picking up words each week


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## MrsRL

Hi ladies, how are you? Sorry I have been AWOL. I hope you're ok.

Katfish - I'm so glad to hear that Sean's op was successful. It sounds like it was exhausting for you following it. How is he doing now? Your holiday sounds lovely, you may even be there now. I hope you are able to relax and have a lovely time, you deserve it. It was an inguinal hernia he had. We're back at the JR this month for his review following it.

Mrs London - I'm finally catching up after all this time! Must check more regularly!

Catf - how is Scarlett doing? It's so easy for kids to have accidents like that, I hope she recovered quickly. I hope her hearing test goes ok when you next go. It's great that she is chatting away and picking up words though  How are things with you otherwise?

MrsChef - how is working from home going now? Sorry to hear Max was unwell, I can imagine it was hard work for you too. How is he doing now? How are things with your MIL?

AFM - Ryan turned 5 months yesterday. He has his first cold at the moment so it has been hard work with his sleep being bad because of that, not that he's a great sleeper anyway. Other than that he is doing well. I can't believe where the time has gone!

I hope you are all on and wishing you all a fantastic 2018. Sending love xxx


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## mrschef04

Hi Ladies,

Sorry if I have been away for so long.

Katfish - how is Sean now and how was Mauritius?  I hope it has given you the rest and rejuvenation you definitely need.  I'm sorry about your Christmas.  I know it must have been hard.  I know I would be exactly the same.  I still get teary about my miscarriages, even now.  No one will ever understand your pain.  Lots of hugs to you and thinking of you all the time.

MrsRL - it is beautiful to see you say that your son has turned five months.  I'm just so happy for your rainbow.  Hope you are well and he is sleeping a bit better.

Catf - Oof!  Poor Scarlett.  I swear, I feel like I should get a helmet for baby Max too.  

MrsLondon - I swear time has flown.  I can't believe you have the twins and Annika.  How are you doing it all and juggling it so well?

AFM - Yes, I became a stay at home mom.  I figured I have only one time to experience all of this too and would never get it back, so it was worth more than a job.  Oops.  he has woken up.  Will have to continue posting in a second.


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## mrschef04

AFM (cont) - he is going through a big developmental leap and whinging and clingy and crying about everything.  I gotta say that being a stay at home really tests your patience, so I have really become good at taking care of things more, being mindful and not being on my phone at all (hence, why the delayed response) and just having to go through all of the ups and downs my little dude is going through.  He's 16 months now and doing really well.  Nursery just wasn't for him.  It's not in his temperament.  He is so attached to me.  MIL and I are simply civil with each other now.  I could give two sh**s about her anymore anyway.  It has definitely strained my marriage.  Hope everyone is well!


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## Catf2008

MrsChef - bring a stay at home Mum is amazing, the clingy stage is so hard and they do grow out of it 

MrsRL - 5 months old already time really does go fast 

AFM - we’ll where do I start, Scarlett is just amazing and I love every second with her. I’ve finally got hubby to change jobs, his started his new job today, it’s an instant £2,400 pay rise but as it’s commission base we are looking at a possible £8000 to £13000 pay rise if he hits targets, my Avon business is growing day to day and I’m proud of where it’s going.  We lost our little dog 4 day’s before my birthday and I miss her everyday, I made the decision to have her ashes come back to me & I finally got the courage to get them on Friday. Now the issue is hubby’s mum is very ill, we don’t get on at the best of times & there is no love lost between us but I don’t like seeing my hubby upset at the thought he will now lose his mum as well, she fluid build up in her legs & stomach and the Doctors don’t know why.  I feel like we are constantly battling a storm of rubbish and just hope one day we get some sort of break.


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## mrschef04

Catf- wanted to say I’m truly sorry about your dog.  I’m so so sorry.  That must have been hard.  We have two cats and they are our family.  They are in every yearly family photo too.  I think no matter what, life is never smooth sailing.  I feel the same as you and it is why my relationship with MIL is civil.  I couldn’t bare seeing her unhappy because it would hurt my husband.  

I do love being SAH.  It took a while to get used to it, but time is going so slow with baby that it makes his growing up less upsetting.  I even take a nap with him with his arms hugging me and we fall asleep together in bed.  It’s the best.  He is a really calm baby compared to most too.  I was worried about how stressed he would be at nursery at his age.  Plus, all of his food is homemade and healthy and such a huge range, thanks to me and my chef husband.  The thing I do love as well is how much more patience it has given me.  I’ve really lost it once or twice, but I’ve learned to really chill with things and I can barely hear the whining most of the time.  The day he can tell me he loves me will be amazing.


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## Katfish

MrsLondon – Wow I can’t believe the boys are 7 months now! How time flys hey! Sorry to hear that you had a hospital stay I hope he is managing in the cold weather at the moment! 

Catf – Ouch poor Scarlett and her run in with the TV stand! These things happen and as bad as we feel about it when it does nothing can be helped! That’s a shame that she wouldn’t co-operate with the hearing team but at least it is a great sign that she is picking up words. Lovely to hear that your husband has a new job and it is looking good so far! I hope that he is enjoying it! 😊 Glad too that your Avon business is thriving! Sorry to hear about the dog! I’m sure you will find something lovely to do with them! Sorry to hear about your other halfs mother not being well. Men do not seem to take these situations very well and they tend to take it out on the people who are closest to them and easy to take it out on! (Believe me I know!) Thinking of you all!

MrsRL – I hope that the review went well at the JR it is an amazing hospital! I work up in the Women’s Centre there 😊 I can’t believe Ryan is 5 months now! 

MrsChef – Can’t believe Max is 15 months now! It really only feels like the other day that we all started our journey! I fully agree MIL are a complete pain in the bum and do cause a huge strain in marriages when they get in the way of things! Talking of the in-laws mine are coming on Friday for the weekend!

AFM – Right now guys I should be messaging you feeling nice and refreshed and tanned from our break! However unfortunately it is the complete opposite. Our holiday had to be cancelled due to on the 5th Jan my husband got an abscess and things just didn’t improve. Near the end of jan he had an op to have a better look at the abscess and we had to give it daily wash outs at home. Unfortunately is still didn’t get better and two weeks ago it turned into a fistula. So we are almost back to where we started ☹ They do not want to operate at the moment and want to give it time to see if it heals on its own or he needs to have further surgery. I am not 100% sure if this means a stoma again or reconnecting everything again and hoping for the best. So its back to weighting all over again. 
On the 2nd Jan I started back at slimming world as I had managed to put on 1.5stone again after everything happened. I managed to loose 0.5stone and now I have lost all motivation. Its very hard when your husband is sat next to you eating all the time smelling and seeing all the yummy food and not being able to eat it or have a drink! So I have been feeling rubbish about this too! 
I have back pain most of the time which my physio refused to look at so I am waiting to be seen now by occupational health to try and get something done with it! I feel like I am doing everything in the house at the moment with my husband barely doing much apart from leaving a mess. But if I leave the top off a packet on the side for two seconds he sees it and tells me off although he does the same all the time (This morning I threw an empty wrap packet in the bin which he finished last night)! As I am sure you can tell I am pretty fed up at the moment and I have no idea when things are going to start looking up! ☹
I hope that you are all well and sorry about my wining its just very hard sometimes to try and look at the positives in life when there are so many negatives. And you are not allowed to talk about the positive things because as my husband says about himself all the time to me ‘It’s not like I have been lucky so far so its going to be the worst case scenario that will happen to me!’


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## Catf2008

I hope you are all well 

Just thought I’d pop on and say that we got a call on Wednesday that my mother in law had passed away, we travel to Hull tomorrow to arrange our second funeral in 18 months


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## mrschef04

Catf, I’m so sorry.  Sending lots of hugs and my thoughts are with you.  xx


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## mrschef04

Hi everyone!  How are you doing?


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## Catf2008

Mrschef - how are you? 

I'm ok, my mother in laws funeral was just over a week ago. Since then everything has gone tits up, hubby has had a fight with his aunt (mums sister) and his sister who have both said they want anything else to do him and said his family all hate him, all because he stuck up for his other sister and we had to drive home the day after the funeral at 8am. He started a new job just before she died and has been struggling in it.  Hubby has to have a heart CT scan on the 13th due to all the collasping episodes he has as they think he might have a blockage, I've had to paramedics in my living twice over the last 4 weeks. On a positive note Scarlett is 2 this month and I'd love to know where the last 2 years have gone


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## MrsLondon

Catf I’m so so sorry to hear about your MiL and the health issues with hubby. Also sorry to hear about the conflict with his family.

Mrs chef - how’s it all going? You seem to have taken being a SAHM really well. How’s Max doing?

Katfish - I’m so sorry to hear you’ve had a tough time again. Life can be pretty ****ty. How are things now?

AFM - sorry that I’ve been completely rubbish. It’s aways go go go with me and my brood. The boys are just over 8months now. Luca has four teeth and Aairun one. Aairun sleeps through the night but Luca wakes once for cuddles. I’m still breastfeeding both but they only have three feeds a day now so it’s managable. They love their food so much. I’ll be eaten out of house and home by the time they are teenagers. Annika is lovely but is still throwing tantrums here and there. Her vocab has really come on and she’s always chatting and singing away. Hubby is leaving teaching in four weeks but doesn’t have a job to go to as his new job fell through Which was devasting. Nothing we can do either apart from hope and pray he has something else to go to. I’m not back to work until September and it’s been agreed that I can work 4days. Ideally I’d prefer three but that wasn’t an option. Ummmmm nothing else really to report on lol. Each day is pretty much the same for me as I don’t really get to go out much. I’ll take the kids to the park or for a walk but we haven’t really ventured anywhere too far or for too long either. 

Hope you’re all ok. Love and hugs to everyone xxx


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## mrschef04

Catf - I am so sorry about your mother in law and the health issues.  How is he doing now?  i can't imagine what you're going through, especially with paramedics visiting your home.  How are you holding up now?  I really can't believe it's been two years already with Scarlett.  It must be also quite amazing, as their characters always seem to come out then.

MrsLondon - I can't believe eight months too!  Has anything new come up for your hubby?  

AFM - I have really enjoyed being a SAHM.  It's not easy, but I do a lot of meditation, a lot of reading parenting books and planning, so I don't go nuts.  However, I am still working from home in the evenings for one start up and I have another interview for another one as a food writer.  So fingers crossed that things work out.  I'm basically trying to build up enough so I continue working from home, even when he is at school.  He is doing really well too.  I just see him becoming more confident and he's really happy.  He starts football classes at the end of May, so getting really excited for him.  lots of love to everyone out there!


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## Catf2008

MrsLondon - how are they 8 months already? Sorry to hear about hubby’s job falling through, has he found anything else yet? 

MrsChef - it’s great being a SAHM, good idea to build everything up forvwhen he is at school 

Hope everyone else is ok 

AFM - well let’s start on the positive Scarlett is 2 on Sunday and we can’t wait for her party.  We are still dealing with the fall out from his Mum passing, his sisters still aren’t talking to each other & one isn’t talking to us, as in her words he ran off back to his perfect little family down South and left them all to it (we live over 209 miles away from them & hubby had run out of leave with Work & had to return, he only started the job 9 day’s before she died), We’ve had nothing but issues with closing bills down from the house as no one helped get meter reading etc and couldn’t as lived so far away.  Hubby had CT done 2 weeks ago and we still have up to another 4 weeks for those results to come in.  Other than that I’m just trying to keep on going and smile along the way.


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## mrschef04

Hi everyone, it’s been far too long!  How is everyone getting on?


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies, sorry I have been awol for so long! How are you all? 

Catf - so sorry for your loss. Also sorry to hear of your hubby’s health issues. How are things now? Have you got any answers? I hope Scarlett had a wonderful birthday! 

MrsChef - it sounds like things are going really well for you being a SAHM. It is great that you have found work to do in the evenings! It sounds like you are keeping busy! Great idea to build up work ready for when Max is at school. How is he doing now? It sounds like he is doing great from your last post. 

Katfish - so sorry to hear you are having a tough time still and couldn’t go on your well earned holiday. How are you both doing now? Are things looking up for you? I really hope so! Yes the JR is great, he has been signed off now thank you. We could not fault it at all there.

Mrs London - I will message you separately  

Hi to anyone else reading!

AFM - Ryan is now 9 months! Time is flying by!! I have decided not to return to my job for various reasons, so I will be a SAHM to start and plan to stay off until Ryan is at least 2 if I can. Hopefully I can find something to do at home as well. He is doing really well at the moment, determined to crawl but not quite there yet! He’s been teething since 3-4 months but still no teeth!! I often think of you all and wonder how you’re all doing. I hope we can all stay in touch. Sending love and hugs to you all xxx


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## mrschef04

Catf - How is Scarlett doing now?  How is your husband doing now?  I really hope things are looking up for you.  Lots of hugs.

MrsRL - Max is doing great.  He is such a happy baby and I can see such a difference because he's so social with everyone and so affectionate.  So I haven't been able to find anymore work, but my husband and I decided to start up a supper club.  I've also decided to home educate until he's 6 or 7 because there is such a massive network in East and Southeast London and also because the local schools are so oversubscribed and not very good in my catchment area.  It will let him get on a waiting list for an independent school.  How are you feeling about being a SAHM?  I'm loving it.  Lots of routines, but also lots of time in the outdoors with baby.

Hope everyone else is well!


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## Catf2008

Hello All 

MrsRL - can’t belive Ryan is 9 months old, time is going fast.  Glad you are able to stay at home till his 2 years old

mrschef - that’s great that you can look at home educating, I’m not looking forward to when Scarlett goes to school and she is due to start reception 4 months after her 4th birthday  

AFM - things are still a little stressful here, with regards to hubby’s health we still don’t have any answers, hubby had a CT scan done in April on his heart and it’s shown that his heart is fine so that’s a good but we are now back to square one. His new job isn’t as good as they said it would be so his currently looking for a new job, he was supposed to finish at 5pm today & his only just walked in at 8pm. Scarlett is doing well, she is so loving, I’m just struggling with her sleeping at the moment, she went from sleeping 10 hours straight to now only sleeping 4 hours 😞 she had her hearing check up this week and it’s looking more likely that she does have a partial hearing loss but they still can’t confirm as she won’t let them put the headphones on her head to check. Now I’m doing a positive but scary thing but after a lot of conversations with a few friends and them building me, I finally started writing about my IVF experience and my miscarriage, I had originally only thought about doing this for a blog but it’s possible I may publish this via Amazon when I’m ready, it’s hard going back over everything but it’s helping me put everything behind and I now feel like I can move forward.


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## MrsLondon

Hi girls,
Just wanted to say a big hi and apologies for not being in touch. It’s been all go go go as usual. I promise I’ll catch up properly soon. I do have you all in my thoughts. The boys are 1 on Saturday and Annika is 2 and a complete character. I’m back to work in 6 weeks so life will be different again. 
Sending you all lots of love. Xxx


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## MrsLondon

Hi ladies,

I finally have 15mins free to say hello properly.

Catf- sorry to hear about Scarlett’s hearing. One of my NCT mums has just discovered that her boy might need a hearing aid. Hope you’re still not feeling down about it. They are so discreet nowadays and children usually find them fascinating as opposed to anything else. Any updates with hubbys health? I think it’s very brave of you writing up your ivf journey. How’s Avon going?

Katf- how are you doing sweetie? Hope you managed to lose the weight you wanted.

MrsChef- hope the super club has been a success? When is Max two? How are things with your mother in law?

Can you believe it’s been 3 years since we started the journey on here. 

Hope everyone is ok. Love and hugs to you all. Xx


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## mrschef04

Hi ladies,

Three years already!  How time flies!  That was a very dark time for me.

Catf - how are things with your husband?  Any further news with him or with Scarlett’s hearing?

MrsLondon - how are you feeling about going back to work?  How’s it been with three kids?

AFM:  I’m still working from home in the evenings just a few hours a week.  Our supper club is going well.  We’ve just about fully booked our first three dates.  Launched it only a week ago!  I’ve also been working at stuff that I have always wanted to pursue, but never did and have been writing and playing my music a lot more.  Baby and I have our routine.  He can swim short distances on his own, he’s still not saying lots of words, but jabbers a lot.  I just love it.  We are two best mates.  Hope all is well. Btw, Stini is due in just two weeks too!


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## Catf2008

Mrslondon - how are you doing? 

Mrschef - sounds like working from home is amazing for you and I’m glad you are enjoying it all 

How is everyone else doing? 

AFM - well where do I start, it’s been a rather stressful few weeks/month I’ll break it down into a few bits, Hubby - health wise we still don’t have any answers, they have ruled out his heart but we still need to get to the bottom of it, we have him on CBD Oil which seems to be helping his depression and anxiety, job wise it’s been terrible, he didn’t pass his probation so we had to get him another job and quick, lucky enough it was at his old company so his back where he was just 6 months ago. Scarlett - well we had her hearing test and the little madam still won’t do what they want her to do and she won’t let them put head phones on her head to check her ears, so we are back again in January, until she will let them run the full tests we won’t get any answers. Me - Avon is going well and I’m starting to get online orders as well as my normal customers and the Skin So Soft has been selling so well this year, alternatively I am looking at possibly becoming a child minder next year, I’m not 100% sure about it and I have a lot to look into and if it is something that I can do.


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## MrsRL

Hi ladies,

How are you all? Sorry I have been awol. 3 years has flown by!! It wasn't a good time for me either, apart from the support from you all!

MrsChef - it sounds like things are working out great for you! So pleased to hear it! It's lovely to hear how happy you are! Ryan started swimming lessons at the weekend and seems to love it. I wish we took him sooner but I don't think he would have liked it when he was younger as he hated baths back then lol. Wow that's great news for Stini! Send her my best wishes! Has she had baby yet? So happy for her!

Catf - sorry to hear that things have been so stressful for you. How is your hubby now? I hope his job is going well. I hope you manage to get some answers for Scarlett come January. Glad to hear Avon is going so well for you. Have you looked in to childminding anymore? I need to look into doing something for a bit of extra money, but not sure what.

Katfish - how are you? I hope you're ok.

MrsLondon - hi! I've messaged you separately 

AFM - Ryan is One on Saturday!! I can't believe how fast that first year has gone!!! We had a cake smash for him and just waiting for the photos from that! We're just having a little tea party on Saturday with close family. He is mostly happy smiley little boy but has started having little tantrums already, he is definitely stubborn &#129318;‍♀ I have officially left my job now and I don't miss it at all. It was definitely the right decision. I hope you are all well xxx


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## Katfish

Hi All sorry I have been away for awhile I have been having a bit of a rough time but have been on from time to time to see what’s going on. It feels like it’s been more than 3 years weirdly! I’m glad that everyone is well. MrsRL I can’t believe you have already celebrated Ryan’s first birthday!
Catf sorry you still have no answers with your husband I hope that things settle down! 
MrsChef please sent Stini my congratulations! I am glad to hear things are going well with you and the dinner club going well too.
MrsLondon I hope that going back to work was ok!
AFM - we are still waiting for further surgery for Sean and have had to result to private HC which is going to cost a fortune but worth it in the end. Our relationship has taken a lot of strain but is ok again at the moment. During this time as well I have gone through 2 full IVF cycles both of which have failed. Both cycles I had a small amount of fluid in the lining but they carried on with ET. The first was a day 5 blast and the second a 10-cell day three which was more cells than needed at this point. They discussed using donor something but suggested that I should use the frozen Embie from Flo’s cycle first. We started FET and really struggled with my lining I was on double dose of the tablets and then a patch ontop I also had fluid. After putting my foot down for cancelling until the consultant was back I spoke with him and he performed a hysteroscopy free of charge and thought it might be due to scar tissue. The hysteroscopy failed and he couldn’t get into the uterine cavity so now waiting for this on the NHS! I just want my happy ending so badly and failing at every hurdle! If it is an issue with scar tissue this will most likely be the reason why the other two cycles have failed so I am feeling pretty angry that they let me go this far with two full cycles and the start of a FET  
In regards to the loosing weight question yes I lost and then it was impossible so ended up putting it back on again! Given up now!


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## Katfish

Oh and we got a puppy! Meet Rexie!


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## Catf2008

Hello All 

Katfish - I’m so sorry to hear about the IVF cycles, I do hope you can get some answers soon, your puppy is very cute

MrsRL - how is Ryan 1 already, I hope you’re enjoying not working.

How is everyone else doing? 

AFM - we seem to just keep getting things thrown at us, we took Scarlett for her first eye test before our holiday and we are now waiting on a referral to the hospital as they believe that her right eye is weaker than the other and it now needs to be looked at by a specialist at the hospital. Scarlett has also been referred for some speech lessons as well, the health visitors is t sure if she has a speech problem or if it’s to do with her ears, so even more appointments for our girl.


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## mrschef04

Hello all!  Just checking in!  How are you?


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## Catf2008

Mrschef - how are you doing 

How is everyone

We’ve had a very bumpy road the last few months and just seem to take 1 step forward and 3 steps back


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## Little Small

Squeeeeeee!!! I found you all....amazing.  Forgive me for not posting anything specific to anyone yet but I haven’t caught up.  Just absolutely thrilled to see all your names. Joy. Dammit though. Where are my jumping smilies?? ❤ Right. So apparently these work 🐞🐞🐦🙉🦗🦄🙉🦋🐝. Huge kisses to you all....will catch up on stories...I hope HOPE everyone has had at least some of their dreams come true. Very much love to you all xxx LittleSmall x


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## mrschef04

Hey Little Small!  Wow!  Hope you and everyone are well!  I’m still a stay at home mother and I managed to build up clients to work from home.  Baby will be 3 in October.  Have attached a recent photo.  Lots of love to you all xxx


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## mrschef04

Just wanted to say that I hope you are all well and happy wherever you are.  Four years ago.  Four years ago and there was all of this stress and sadness, but a lot of support.  I know it seems silly, but I come back here every now and then to remind myself how blessed I am.  Hope you’re all well and lots of love xx


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## Katfish

Hello All,
I hope that everyone is well!

I have had one hell of a journey since last posting on here. I always hoped that at some point I would be able to post again with some happy news.

I have had 3 surgeries on my uterus since the accident to try and remove scar tissue. I had another which no treatment was performed because they couldn’t see anything. I had two hystroscopys at my clinic which failed as they couldn’t open the uteru. After my consultant got advice via another Consultant at a sister clinic they recommended having a HSG. Since then I’ve had 3 private HSGs and one NHS (which was a complete fail). My last one showed I should have one more surgery but it also showed I finally had a flushing tube! Not that it has much use!

the reason for the above investigation and surgeries was because we kept having thin linings and fluid in the lining during treatment.

In total since the accident this is my timeline:
May 2018 ICSI - 1 embie transferred day 5 BFN (fresh cycle no 3)
few months later ICSI day 3 transfer BFN (fresh cycle no 4)
Oct 2018 tried an FET with the frostie from Flos cycle - cancelled as lining didn’t thicken
Had HSG and then first surgery had to have another 3month wait
June 2019 fresh cycle - transferred 1 and froze 2 bfn (fresh cycle no 5)
august 2019 FET cancelled due to lining not thickening
tried again for FET on tons of drugs lining still not great but transferred and BFN
Nov 2019 another HSG with surgery Christmas Eve 
Jan/feb 2020 another FET still thin lining and fluid BFN
nhs HSG March 2020 rubbish needed it privately (COVID then got in the way)
July 2020 Private HSG showed tube and to have more surgery 
Sept 2020 surgery again
nov 2020 worst fresh cycle we didn’t get to transfer and chose not to transfer our Frostie from Flo’s cycle my lining wasn’t the best. (Fresh cycle no 6) this was planned to be our last collection.

at this point I had lost all hope I was not in the best mindset convinced that it was just never going to work. I spoke with my consultant who was actually the one who kindly called me on his day off to tell us there was nothing to transfer and discussed when we could start an FET. He allowed me to start on my withdrawal bleed. There was a few things I did differently this time. We added extra blood thinners as well. There was fluid in my lining again and I requested that they removed it before planning transfer which they did. It wasn’t much fluid but enough to aspirate. 4 days later they scanned again and my lining was actually finally above the 7mm required. They gave me a few more days and then started progesterone. They wanted to scan pre transfer and shockingly it was now over 8mm with no return of the fluid. Anyway test day came and I’m pleased to tell you that I’m 30wks tomorrow! We are high risk and we still have lots of hoops to get through but hopefully everything will continue to go without any hick ups.

I hope that you all are well and looking forward to hearing how you all are and your little ones.

lots of love! Katie


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## Little Small

Dearest all - am sobbing and reading old messages….just sending out hugged hugs and love to anyone who stumbles back here. You saved me xxx ♥ THANK YOU


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## Catf2008

Hey All, 

I’ve been pulled back here after getting a lovely message from one of you.

katfish - I really hope everything has gone ok and you are getting lots of snuggles.

we are doing okish, the last few years have been rocky like they have for everyone, during covid our little girl was diagnosed with Global Development Delay and ASD, we are still awaiting a SPD & Hypermobility diagnosis as well. We’ve moved a few times since little one was born and the most recent move was 275 miles north, we all unfortunately caught covid in January and at one point I had both of my parents in Hospital with it, unfortunately only my dad came out of hospital.

On nicer news, our girl now attends a SEN school and we’ve seen such an improvement in her over just 3 weeks, we know we’ve made the right choice to remove her from mainstream as she wasn’t getting the support and help that she needed.

anyway enough about me, how are you all doing? How many children do you all have x


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## MrsRL

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I haven't posted on here in a long time. I'm sorry to have missed seeing your messages until today.

@Katfish - it is lovely to see you on here again, you really have been through so much. I really hope that things have worked out well and you are currently enjoying snuggles with your baby. Please update us on how things are going, I would love to see an update. I really hope it is a positive outcome for you after everything you have been through.

@Catf2008 - it is lovely to hear from you as well. I'm so sorry to hear you have been through a lot as well and very sorry for the loss of your Mum. I hope you are settled in well after your move and you get the support you need our
for your little girl. I'm so pleased that she is doing well now in school and is much more supported. It sounds like it was the right move to make.

@Little Small - lovely to hear from you as well. How are you doing?

How is everyone else doing?

Ryan is now 4.5 and currently in pre school. He is still our only one and likely will be. We have been through quite a few things since last coming on here. I sadly lost my Mum to cancer at the beginning of lockdown in March 2020 so that was very tough. Ryan started a local pre school at 3 that didn't work out well for a number of reasons, they were awful so ended up pulling him out. He is now at a much more caring pre school that he mostly enjoys going to. We find out which primary school he will go to in September next month. He is mostly a happy boy and I am enjoying this age more than the baby days, but his behaviour can be challenging at times, he sometimes has big emotions especially when tired. I had a health scare myself in January this year, but thankfully all is ok now.

How is everyone else doing? I would love to hear updates from you all. Take care xx


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