# Confused.com



## Gemmah (May 23, 2011)

Hey everyone
I really need some guidance.  I am unable to have children due to cancer treatment.  I am now 30, fit and well.  My husband and I are now keen to begin our surrogacy journey.  However it seems that where I live in the uk surrogacy is virtually unheard of.  I had a meeting with a top medical professional yesterday and he was quite negative about the whole experience.  He basically said it could be done but it is extremely difficult.  I asked him about various countries and his response indicated it was easier but there were risks in taking the child home.  I am now in somewhat of a quandary and would like to know what experienced members out there would advise?
Should I:
1/ pursue a uk journey by joining uk agency like Cots?
2/ look into doing surrogacy in America?
3/ look into doing surrogacy in Ukraine?
4/look into doing surrogacy in India?
Any advice would be much appreciated!
Many thanks
Gemma


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## Bria (Nov 3, 2005)

Hi Gemma, unfortunately it is really common for medical professionals to be really negative about surrogacy. Usually because they don't have much (if any) experience. I am a surrogate and a member of COTS, while I would not say the process is 'easy' it is certainly possible within the UK.

I would highly recommend contacting either or both COTS and Surrogacy UK, they are both really successful and well run organisations that bring IPs and surrogates together.

I don't have any experience of surrogacy overseas so can't comment on that, but I do know that surrogacy in the UK is a very real option and don't let any medical 'professional' tell you otherwise!!
My second IPs have a little girl and boy through surrogacy and my current IPs are well on there way 

Lots of luck in your journey
X


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## Leawilliams (Jan 24, 2012)

Hi Gemma,

I think I know just how you feel. When anyone makes the decision to go the surrogacy route, it is a big decision and really not mainsteam. It seems everyone feels comfortable about speaking of IVF, however when we move to the next step... It seems everyone goes quiet in the room. I also feel that their is not a lot of info out there and the laws always keep changing. When I finally went for my last IVF after too many to count, it was my doctor who suggested surrogacy. He also suggested surrogacy in India. So it took me and my DH about 2 years to get our head around it and decide on going with surrogacy and finally picking a place to do it.
My start was:
1/ I started pursuing a UK journey (my DH is from London) and I tried to learn everything about is. However we never joined COTS due to we keep moving all over the world and never had the time to settle down in the UK
2/ We did look into doing surrogacy in America. However the cost is crazy! However I am a dual citizen and it was an easy option to get a passport and have our child become a American citizen and then we could apply for the UK citzenship via my DH and then the parental order. it seemed like a good option, it was just the cost that stopped us.
3/ I looked into doing surrogacy in Ukraine, Russia, Georgia, Thailand? I had different reasons for these countries, varying from safety issues and quality of surrogacy care.
4/ I did look into doing surrogacy in India and that was what we did. The country has a long histroy and our Dr. recommended that it was a good place to search.

I have also talked to an attorney in the UK, due to we are Expats not living in the UK at the moment we are on secondment from the UK and living in Switzerland, so the parental order was/is a tricky thing for us, but doable.

I have been writing this down on my blog at http://familydreamsfromindia.blogspot.com/

Good luck, it is a fascinating and a fantastic journey.

Lea

/links


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## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Hi Gemmah

Surrogacy in the Uk is very straight forward, I have not found it a problem finding surrogactes privately, try : http://www.surrogatefinder.com/findsurrogates/

I paid for 1 years membership on there, and spoke to several surrogates here in the UK, we found 1 surrogate who tried host surrogacy ( IVF) twice for us last year but it didnt work, before finding our current surrogate, who is pregnant ( 16 weeks) with our baby. 
The fees range from £10,000 - £15,000 and you have to work out a plan/agreement that you are both happy with and take it from there!
Anything you need to know just ask

Its not hard to find surrogates here in the UK, you just have to look in the right places!

Good luck

Lily x

/links


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

lily17 said:


> Hi Gemmah
> 
> Surrogacy in the Uk is very straight forward, I have not found it a problem finding surrogactes privately, try : http://www.surrogatefinder.com/findsurrogates/
> 
> ...


I just really want to remind everyone that it is illegal to advertise for or to be a surrogate here in the UK, so if you do use sites like this from non UK countries and they are advertising UK surrogates, you may end up breaking the law. (not that I am suggesting this site is, just saying "in case"  )

I would strongly advise everyone here would make extra doubly sure that you are fully aware of all surrogacy laws in whatever country you choose to have treatment in, to avoid problems down the line.

C~x


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Linda S said:


> Hi Gemmah
> 
> I had a baby through a surrogate in India, there is no waiting list you can start straight away. I am going again in May for my second baby if you would like more info please email me. You could have a baby by next year. My friend went to the clinic and she had a baby in a year and is so happy now.
> 
> Linda


Welcome to the forums Linda. While it's lovely that you want people to email you, I think this site works best when people are open, honest and transparent as possible about their treatment, particularly in an area with such complex laws and where there's such a high level of exploitation of very vulnerable people. If you are using a reputable and legitimate surrogacy agency, please feel free to state so openly on the forums. 

C~x


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