# Trying again 2017



## bunny73

Hi all.


Was just wondering if anyone is going to be doing fet or full cycle for baby no2 around April/may time?


We are hoping too & I've been thinking about it a lot!!! So just wondered if anyone wanted to chat?


Wishing everyone a happy & healthy new year   


Bunny xx


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## 2ForJoy

Hi bunny,

After a lot of deliberating we are looking to cycle again in June 17.  We were very lucky to have our LB in Jul 2015 after our 1st IVF at lister in sep 2014.  We had a VERY traumatic birth which almost resulted in my death (twice) and intensive care for me... however... I have always wanted at least 2 as I can't imagine our LB not having a sibling!  When I came out of hospital DH said NO MORE... never again was he going to sit in a corridor with his wife on a slab fighting for her life whilst his son was in scbu.  Since then I have had further gynae issues but the additional consultations have reassured DH that we would be under closer monitoring.  Sooo... we are looking at June!  It was going to be April but we are going to Florida in March and thats a Zika virus area so our clinic wont allow treatment until June .  

How about you?


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## deblovescats

Bunny - happy new year - sorry you had a traumatic birth, but I'm so glad you got your LO. Good luck for your forthcoming cycle.
I have a gorgeous little boy aged 2 and a beautiful 9 week old baby girl - both from DD, my first was fresh cycle, the second child from FET. So I am so lucky and happy. I have 2 frosties in storage from same DD cycle so I am planning on trying again next year, probably later than April/May, but happy to post. I was thinking of probably trying around July/August, but will see.
Deb


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## deblovescats

sorry - got a bit mixed up - after all it is late! joy - sorry for the traumatic birth, I realise it wasn't bunny. Good luck to both of you


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## cookson17

I had my little boy in Feb 2016 and we are going to go again if I don't get pregnant in natural in January (unlikely!!!)

We cycled in Spain last time and are probably going  to do the same this time so we are looking to start stims around the 31st of March.


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## bunny73

Thank you for the replies ladies   


2forjoy - wow you went through a lot, your brave to go again but I completely understand why you would want to   . Our lo's are a similar age, my lg was born may 2015 - should have been June but she arrived 5 weeks early & took us completely by surprise    !
Im not entirely sure when we will end up having et, could be may or June. I want to book an appointment so we can have a chat about the plan, as we are on holiday for a week at the beginning of may, but I'm hoping to get started before then as I have to go on the pill usually (I think - can't really remember how it all works   ) and I'd like to have a scratch! So hopefully can get some answers on timings etc. 
Will you be doing fet or full cycle? What clinic do you use?


Deb - congratulations on the recent arrival of your lg   . So lovely to hear that you had successful fresh then frozen cycles    how many frosties did you have & then transfer? Very exciting that you are going for number 3. Will it be similar gap you had before you tried again last time? Did you have straight forward pregnancies & births?


Cookson - march will come round quickly, so you'll back on the rollercoaster before you know it   . Will you be having fet or full cycle? How does it all work when you have to go to Spain? Did you have many cycles to get your little boy?


Hope you don't mind all my questions ladies, the whole process really interests me & when its all on my mind its great to have people to talk to. I do have friends & family who know our situation - but its not the same as people who are in a similar boat.
Happy New year x


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## cookson17

Hi - we will be having full cycle again.

last time I went on the pill for a month then went to Spain (end of dec 2014) for my first appointment and started treatment then and there! came home for a week and then went back for egg collection. We had PGS testing. So all blasts frozen. 2 normal.

I went back in feb for era biopsy and a scratch - first embryo went back at the start of march- didn't work. Mock cycle in April - supposed to go back in may but lining wasn't thick enough so went back in June and had my little one a month early feb 2016.


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## deblovescats

Happy New Year ladies! 
Good luck in your cycles!
Bunny - I don't mind all the questions at all - I find this forum such a source of support, people who conceive naturally don't always understand the lengths we go to. I got 4 blastocysts with DD in my 1st successful cycle (I had previously had 2 failed cycles with different donors at a different clinic) and had one implanted, which became DS. I had 3 blasts from same cycle which were frozen. Then my next successful cycle, I again had one blast implanted which worked and DD was born in October. I have 2 frozen blasts in storage, who I plan to use next year. I am thinking of trying again maybe in August, which would mean a smaller age gap between DD and 3rd baby, if it were to work. There is 2 years and 3 months between DS and DD. If the cycle worked in August, there would be 19 months between DD and the new baby. I am debating whether to have just the one put back or whether to have them both put back, because if it did work, I would have one blast in storage and don't know whether I could go for a 4th child! Or if it did work, could end up with twins! Or if had one put back which didn't work, would have another one to try with. I know I'm lucky to be having such a debate! I'll update you all as time progresses. 
Both pregnancies were straightforward and I enjoyed them! I am fitter and thinner since becoming pregnant than before. As I am an older mum, I was under care of a consultant and had more scans, but this gave me chance to see more of LOs. I thankfully didn't have any problems such as diabetes or high blood pressure. I had to have C-sections, not through my choice - consultant was being cautious, as I had placenta praevia slightly in 1st pregnancy, then subsequently I asked about vaginal delivery but she wasn't keen and wanted to play safe. I felt railroaded into it, but at the end of the day, I have my gorgeous babies! I feel fine and fitter and younger than before!
Deb
Deb


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## nevertoolate

hi deblovecats,
would you mind if i send you a pm. i think your mailbox is full. x


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## Bria350

Hi Everyone!

I'm happy to have found your group.  We are going to try again April or May after my first cycle in Oct ended in a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. (Twins, passed at 11 weeks.)  This just happened Monday and I'm still emotional and very teary.  Planning the next go is help though.  It being New Year, I don't have any information on when we can go.  DH did leave a sample, so it will just be me traveling to Czech Republic for a fresh de cycle.  
Last time we had 2 great blasts, and opting to put them both back.  This time, dh wants to only do one if have the choice as he's afraid it was my body that couldn't take the twin pregnancy.  I'd rather do two.  Will be looking for advice about that though from the clinic and anyone who cares to comment.  

Deb, congratulations on your little ones and having frosties to put back! 

Joy, I'm so sorry you had a hard time.  I understand wanting to go again though and glad your dh is onboard with it.

Cookson, fingers cross for this month!! Like Bunny said, March will be here before you know.  (Remind me that when I moan how long it is till April or May!)  

Hope you all have had a good start to the New Year


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## Jengles

Hi ladies 

Wow sounds like everyone has been through a lot I'm glad to hear some success stories which gives me hope. 

I'm also going to give it another go next year in Feb/March we're in a similar situation to Bria350 and lost our baby from our first cycle at 12 week scan. My heart goes out to you it's such a tough time. Although we found out Oct 20th I still struggle with the loss. 

We only have 1 frozen embryo left which puts quite a lot of pressure on this go (we're on NHS treatment and I don't know if we could afford private treatment for some time) 

So I'm trying to get healthy again this month I've put a lot of weight on in pregnancy and then start again hopefully with a better mindset. 

Here's to new year and a new try 

Take care all


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## Bria350

Hi Jengles 

I'm sorry for your loss.  I don't think any amount of time makes it better.  

I've put on the weight, too, so will be trying to get off at least a stone, more if possible.  Are you going to do anything
particular?  I'm trying to do Whole 30.  Today was the first day and I made it through except had 1 square of dark chocolate.
So guess I didn't make it through!  I'm also going to try to do as much stress reducing and pampering activities as I can.

Edited to add: I almost forgot!!  Had an email from my coordinator today about picking dates to cycle!  I said April 27 or May 5th.


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## bunny73

Afternoon ladies.

Cookson - if you don't mind me asking what made you choose a clinic abroad? If you start stimms end of march when will et be? Good luck 

Deb - lovely to read your story, fantastic that you had successful cycle, followed by successful fet  . And great that you feel so good since having your little one's. We had fet for our lg after an unsuccessful full icsi cycle (cycle number 4) & now have 2 embryos left to try this year!

Bria - so sorry to hear of your recent loss  I understand why planning your next step will give you focus. I had a mmc at 12 week scan on my 2nd cycle, so I really feel for you. Here if you want to talk xx Will you be having full cycle or fet? We will probably be cycling together 

Jengles - sorry to hear about your loss too  . Like I said my mmc was also at 12 weeks after having a scan at 8 weeks showing everything was OK - so was a big shock, nothing can prepare you for it, this was in 2011 & I still think about it. Good luck with your cycle in Feb - keep us posted  

I sat the other night & looked through my posts from last cycle so I could get an idea of timings etc & what drugs I took - so that brought it all back for me. I'm very excited to cycle again, but worried too! I might ring the clinic soon to ask when I should book a consultation etc.

Hope everyone is OK x


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## cookson17

Hi

We chose a clinic abroad for a number of reasons
1.We were waiting for the NHS and it was taking too long - so thought while we were waiting we would have a go abroad as that wouldn't affect our NHS goes (they told me if I paid I would lose an NHS go) as it would be abroad
2.I want to start straight away and the clinic in Spain said I go
3. I went to the fertility show in London and really liked the doctor I spoke to 
4.Spain have cutting edge technology 

Last time we went for our first consultation in Spain and started stimming there and then!! And Egg collection was 10 days later - I had been on the pill for the previous month. So am hoping we will go on the 31st of march- and collection 10/12 days later. This time I am staying in Spain - last time I came home and went back but that was far too stressful.
We will be having PGS testing again


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## deblovescats

Good luck guys
dreaming - feel free to pm me - I've been really remiss in deleting messages - I've cleared some tonight so should be fine!
Deb


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## bunny73

Cookson - the NHS can be great, but nothing ever happens very quickly    and in this journey there's no time to wait - you just want to get on with it all. Great that you can start straight away in Spain. Does it cost you alot more to cycle there than in the UK do you know? Good luck with your cycle, keep us posted   


Its great talking tyo you all


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## cookson17

Bunny73 - I used the clinic in Spain last time and was very lucky to have my little boy. The cost is about the same as in the UK but with PGS testing.

There really is no time to wait at my age. I am now 40 and would like another baby so need to crack on!


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## bunny73

Good luck with you cycle cookson - I hope all goes well & you have another success


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## cookson17

Thanks Bunny


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## emotional

Hi all,

2017 has brought a new sense of hope - I hope it has done the same for you all. 

Bria350 and jengles - I'm in the same position as you guys - had a mmc at 12 weeks, in November, despite all being well at 9w scan. Desperate but terrified to start again. Have our review consultation on Thursday to find out when we can cycle etc. We are private so have finances to worry about also. I also feel like it is already taking over my life - trying to be healthy as read 3-4 months before your eggs start to mature and can be affected. Hubby being good too. We have opted to go tea total this time, or at least try to. I'm terrified of a failure but more terrified of a miscarriage. 

I wish all us good luck in our cycles this year - this year is our lucky year!! We have to believe it! 🍀

Xx


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## bunny73

Hi emotional.

Sorry to hear of your loss  as I said previously I experienced the same thing a few years ago.
Great to hear your feeling hopeful for 2017   .
Not sure I'm feeling hopeful - more crazed because all I can think about now is treatment   !!
We too are having private treatment.
When are you hoping to start? And will you be doing full cycle or fet?
Ladies I might have to start venting on here soon, so will apologise in advance!
Hope your all well x


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## bunny73

Well bit the bullet & called the clinic this afternoon   
Have made an appointment for the 3rd of Feb - a follow up really for the last treatment, to have initial checks & to make a plan for next cycle   


Hope your all well.


Bunny x


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## Bria350

Emotional, I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm trying to get healthy, too.  I'm sort of shocked at how many of us have had loses so late.  I guess in
my ignorance I thought if we made it past 8 weeks everything would be okay.  Not true.  I know I will be be scared, too, of another m/c.

Bunny, I've been doing the same thing, looking at notes of timing from last time.  Glad you got an appt! Will be here before you know it, and
then you have a good plan.

Cookson, Hope everything goes well for you.  We are using an overeas clinic, too. Ours is in the Czech Republic.  I was very pleased with my treatment when we went, even though it all didn't work out the way I planned.  I think that was me or the embie, not the clinics fault.  I'm in the US and the cost was about 1/3 of what we paid for our 1 off cycle 10 years ago,(including flights and hotel.)  I wished I had found out about it then, as I would have been trying all this time.  Now, I'm near the age limit and time is really running out.


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## 2ForJoy

woah... sorry for the delayed reply....

Bunny- i'm glad you have called the clinic hun!  Taht's is going to come round so quickly!
We need to have a fresh cycle as unfortunately none of the other embies where suitable for freezing   We are with the Lister clinic and despite a few delays here and there I must say they are pretty fab!  The only thing I would change would be to have appointments for routine visits on a Saturday as I had to use pretty much all my annual leave for TX!  never mind... all worth it for my dude!

Bria350- Can I ask why you chose Czech?  I see a lot of people go abroad- is it better rates?  We were going to have 2 back (DS was a 4aa blast then we had an unsuitable for freezing almost blast) but despite the 2nd not meeting frezing ranges the clinic very strongly advised my against that giving me a 60+/-% of twin pregnancy... the rescheduled our apt for 2 hours later that day so that we could discuss it further.  
OOps- just seen you're in USA- OMG how much does it cost there then?!!

I wanted to reply to you all individually but I am up for work at silly o'clock 2m so really need to get to bed!  I know what you all mean about not remembering previous cycles... i've been trawling through my old posts to find bits out!  Weve not long moved house so  think our files must be in the loft.  All I do know is that I am not looking forward to bum-bullets again!!  OMG... I hated them things!

So when are we all looking at starting?  Im June/July-ish... would have been April/May but like I mentioned before the clinic won't treat us until 6 weeks or so after Orlando because of Zika   More time to get healthy after the holiday!


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## 2ForJoy

PS- sorry for the typos... my fingers are tired


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## Bria350

Joy, hope you are sound asleep with delightful dreams right now!  Yes, I'm in the US.  DH is English though, so we go there fairly regularly. 
Our first cycle cost abou $18,000.  That was in the US and a long time ago.  I'd hate think how much it would be now, but over $20,000.  That was
my own eggs, too.  We're using donor now.  Even with flights, Czech as so much cheaper.  When we were there in Oct, we had them freeze dh sperm, so this time it will just be me going, so should be a bit less expensive.  We didn't have anything to freeze either.  Was super sad about that, but praying we do this time around.

Probably good thing to wait with being exposed to Zika.  It's scary.  I'm going end of April if all goes well.  My consultant gave me the date April 27th.  I'm not really sure if that is retrieval date or transfer though.  I'm trying to get more in shape, too.  I'm excited, but so scared that I will have a repeat of what happened....


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## 2ForJoy

quickie from me before i head to the office- Bria- that is crazy that you have to travel so far... That is so ridiculously expensive (and I thought it was bad here!).  I'm at Lister so as far as i'm aware it's not even subsidized by the NHS- I really didnt expect US to be much more than here!

April will fly by too hun


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## bunny73

Bria - I was the same, stupidly thought as 8 week scan all fine that things would be OK - such a terrible shock when it wasn't! I completely understand you being scared of it happening again. I had 2 bad bleeds in the early stages of my successful pregnancy & was petrified, ended up signed off for first 3 months! But all was good in the end.
Yes I wrote some notes so that I could keep it fresh in my mind! And yes the time will go very quick & we'll all be back on the rollercoaster before we know it!! I think we will be cycling at a very similar time   .


2forjoy - out of all our cycles we had hardly any frosties. We have 2 to use in this next cycle, but if that doesn't work we are going to do another fresh cycle! But that will be the last! Oh how rubbish that you have to use your annual leave - your work don't allow you any time for it? Its hard to work round everything & obviously with appointments you have to go when the clinic needs to see you. Are you far from your clinic?


So paperwork arrived day after phone call, its all the same stuff we have done before, seems so silly writing some of the stuff as they have all our notes   !!
Oh well its all completed now!!


Speak soon xx


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## Bria350

Hi Bunny   I'm so sorry I have neglected writing.   How is thinks going with you now??  Please update! I'll be better at responding.
I was in a bad spot and just put it off.  Have kept up on and of on my Zlin group, but I'm feeling much better now.  It's been just over a month
since we buried my babies.  I'm so glad you went on to have a successful pregnancy.  

How about everyone else?  How are you doing?

I'm just waiting for my period to start so I can go on bcp.  Sent a message to my coordinator about possibly going on something to start it.  
Had some labs done, but everything came out normal, so we aren't changing anything.  I've joined a challenge to walk 1,000 miles this year.
Done over 50 so far, so pretty happy about that.  Trying to get healthier.


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## cookson17

Hope everyone going OK

We start our next cycle in 6 weeks...


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## Bria350

Hi Cookson,  

I'm still waiting on my period to start.  Dr gave me medicine to start it.  Then I have transfer on May 2nd, so 10 weeks out.

Hope times flies for us.


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## bunny73

Hi Bria - you don't have to apologise at all - life is crazy and finding time for everything is difficult. How are you doing? Thing's are OK thank you, we had our appointment the other week and it was good to talk things through. We were surprised to find out that our 2 remaining embryos are actually frozen separately instead of together! So that gives us the choice of having 1 or 2 out back - think we are still going to go for 2 though! Ahhh you'll be having your et on my birthday  hopefully I'll only be a few weeks after you! Wishing you lots of luck for your cycle xXx

Cookson - good luck for your cycle  do you feel ready? X


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## Bria350

Hi Bunny   Thank you! I've been okay, up and down.  Had a teary moment at the movies today.  We went to see a horror film called The Cure for Wellness, (not a great movie,) and they mentioned infertility and had images of babies.  Luckily it was dark and no one saw.  Glad you had a successful meeting.  That is great news about your embryos!!  I've got to make sure to ask ours to be frozen single if we have any.  It's hard to decide 1 or 2.  I think we've decided just 1 for me, since we lost the twins.  I got the pathology report and as far as they can tell there was nothing wrong with them.  I no that is terrible, but I was hoping there was a reason I lost them.  They just tested the boy.  That's so cool my transfer will be on your birthday!  Fingers crossed that will be a good sign! Lots of luck for you, too! hoping this is all our years.


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## Bria350

I started my bcp today!  Only 2 more months to transfer.  How are y'all doing?


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## emotional

Hi all,

I started DR a week ago for new fresh cycle. Terrified about it all but feeling I need to get on with it. Had to start DR early as I got what I think was my period. Very early and much lighter than normal. Wondering if I am now going to have another bleed or if that really was it?! It's so confusing and I have 3 weeks to wait until my first scan. Don't know how all of you ladies are doing but I feel like I've never been off this rollacoaster - it's so hard and so tiring. Finances are severely depleted now and I find myself feeling so sad (possibly the drugs?!) about the whole thing. I still can't quite believe we lost our baby at 12 weeks - it feels like a daze - almost like it happened to someone else. 

Anyway, hope you are all doing well? It seems a few of us are starting/ getting ready to start again. 

Xx


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## cookson17

Hi

Yes I have started the BCP - but have been having bleeding so had to have a lining scan yesterday-all OK I think.

We go out to Spain in three weeks.....Time is flying!


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## Bria350

Hi Emotional, I so know how you feel.  It's unreal and yet, so overwhelming sad.  Hope things have settled with your bcp.  They caused me lots of crying this time.

Cookson, Glad to hear your scan went well.  Hope the 3 weeks speed by.

As for me, I've finished my bcp, had the bum shot, and now have 3 week break of no medicines before I start estrogen.  I go to Czech Republic in about 5 weeks.  I'm petrified this time around, but praying it will work and we will bring home a baby.  We transferred two last time, and we lost both babies.  I'm still undecided about doing one or two this time.  My mind tells me one, but my heart tells me two.


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## emotional

Hi Bria350,

Hope you are ok? It must be nice to know you have a break from all medicines.

I'm not on bcp my clinic does down regulation using buserelin on day 1 or 21 of your cycle. I'm still in eh middle of it now but have a scan on Tuesday to hopefully start stimming. I'm just taking each day as it comes at the moment and trying not to stress about it because stressing won't fix anything. Weird for me to not stress though. I'm injecting very morning, scarily it has just become the norm now. How weird for that to happen when injecting yourself each morning is clearly not normal! 

I understand your dilemma for 1 or 2. I have always had 2 put back though my own choice despite alwsys being told we are high risk for twin pregnancy but that's never happened to us. We only ever had one baby implant. I will do the same again if given a choice. I can totally understand your dilemma though, probably best ronsee how the cycle goes and makes the decisions when you have all the facts for that cycle in front of you. Good luck with it all. Fingers crossed for a take home baby xx


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## Bria350

Hi Emotional   I'm going okay.  Can't shake the down feels, but guess it's normal.  lol 
How did your scan go?  I made my lining appt yesterday for 21 April.  Taking it one day
at a time is the best way to go.  I've pretty much decided to do one. I hope it's not the 
wrong choice, but I think my body will handle one better.  If we do one and it doesn't
work,maybe two the next time.  I keep telling myself to think of this as a marathon and
not a sprint.  

Bunny, hope you are doing okay.  Anything new going on?  

Hi to everyone else


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## emotional

Bria350,

You are very wise thinking of it as a marathon not a sprint. There is no wrong decision, only the decision that feels right and that's what you have to go with. 

Scan went fine thanks - full down regged now. Lining only 1.2mm! Hoping that's not a bad thing as it's less than last time. Starting stims on Friday evening. Eeeeeek! 

Any one got any hints or tips?? Specifically is what to eat/do etc? Clinic just said be healthy.

Xx


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## cookson17

Hi All,

We arrived in Spain on Thursday and went to the clinic on Friday.

All a bit different this time.My period didn't arrive but after the scan she said my lining is very thin and the doc doesn't expect it to arrive,

My AFC was low-last time it was 18 this time 3!

So they re did AMH which is good (2 but LH and FSH were somewhat high - so after all that the doc has decided to go ahead anyway- really hope it is the right decision!


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## Bria350

HI Cookson   How did it go on Friday?  Hope everything is well.  When do you get to test?

Emotional, hope the stims are going well.  My only tip is stay away from salt.  I've heard a low carb diet is good, but don't know for sure.  

Not much going on with me, but will be going to Czech in two weeks and a few days, then my transfer is May 2nd.


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## emotional

Hi, 

Bria350 - go for whatever you feel is best. Whatever you decide will be the right decision. Why should I stay away from salt?

Cookson - what did they say about your AFC? Can that change monthly? How is it all going?

AFM - still stimming but having scan later. First scan didn't go well. 3 follicles of 12mm. No idea why so few in comparison to last July. So now, needless to say, i feel low and worried. The consultant said he wasn't worried and upped my dose by one vial. Still feel like a failure already.

Xx


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## bunny73

Hi Ladies.


Thank you for asking after me    sorry I haven't been around, the weeks seems to be blurring into one and I've  been so busy! I pop by to have a little read, but never find time to post! Hence writing now at this silly time    I'm not long back from work and thought id have a little me time   .


How is everyone?


Bria - how are you doing? Not long until transfer for you    have you decided 1 or 2?


Emotional - sorry to hear you are feeling low and worried, try to stay positive hun   . When is you next scan?  I remember with my cycles things could change so much within a few days, so fingers crossed you'll see some more follies at your next appointment   . How are you feeling with the drugs?


Cookson - Its all go for you then    How are you doing? Good luck   


AFM - I started the pill 3 weeks ago as I thought AF was arriving & then it tailed off     but clinic said just to go with it so I'm on day 22 and just waiting for AF, then will start pill again next week ready for cycle to start next month   .  We have appointment booked for the 24th of April to sign paperwork and get meds etc and then scratch booked for the 12th of May (the day after we get back from holiday   ) at least being on the pill means I don't have to worry about having AF when on holiday   .
Looking forward to catching up with you all, I'll try to post  more often xx


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## emotional

Hey bunny73,

I see your journey has stated then?! Having a holiday booked will do you the world of good I'm sure - what good timing. How are you feeling about it all?

Seems to have gone quiet on here - how is everyone getting on?

AFM - we had EC yesterday which was prob the most painful one I've ever had! Had sedation but was awake through it all! Never mind, it only took 15 mins or so. They got 4 eggs out of 8 follicles. Turns out one of them was immature so despite drug increases which then showed 8 follicles instead of the original 3 I still only got 3 eggs - I'm guessing these where the 3 originals. Typical! However!! Hubbys sperm was best it's been in 7 years of testsing! Almost considered normal!!! How amazing is that?!!  X


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## bunny73

Hi emotional.


Sorry to hear EC wasn't very pleasant    I seemed to suffer worse each time I had one!! How are you feeling now? Sore? Do you have some time off work to rest? Fantastic news on hubby's sample    are you having IVF or ICSI? Fingers crossed that you get the news tomorrow that all 3 have fertilised    keeping my fingers crossed for you X    Are you planning on having 1 or 2 put back? Keep me posted   


Yes really looking forward to holiday, we haven't had a full week away for years - so will be lovely and we can have some over indulgence before treatment   . I'm feeling ok abut it, nervous about it not working and the prospect of having to go through a full cycle again    I've had OHSS twice and felt so rough, I don't know how I would cope with all that again.


Speak soon xx


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