# We may be turned down to egg share....



## pabboo (Sep 29, 2007)

....because my father has mild, partial, colour blindness. 

It's an X-linked chromosome, so as I'm female (becuase I have XX chromosomes) I have a 50% chance of being a carrier. If I am, there is another 50% chance that my offspring will be colour blind (so, in fact, if I have a son, there is a 50% chance he will be colour blind, and a 50% chance my daughter would be a carrier)

Enough of the science. I am actually in tears over this. 

As far as I know there is no blood test to find out if I am a carrier. So they might turn us down to be egg sharers. 

I really wasn't prepared for this at the consultation today. I just assumed we'd be setting up the blood tests. As it is we now have to wait a week for the clinic to tell us whether we can go ahead or not.....

Any words of advice, thoughts of hope, etc, strongly appreciated.


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## Leicesterlou (Oct 9, 2007)

Pabboo, saw your message and didn't want to read and run, I really hope they don't turn you down because of the colour blindness chromosone hun, thinking of you and sending you lots of


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## pabboo (Sep 29, 2007)

Basically, they will let us know in the next week or so if they will let us egg share or not. Simple as that.....

Thanks for your thoughts, guys. Keep your fingers crossed for me that they say we can go ahead


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## Skybreeze (Apr 25, 2007)

I am so sorry hun      I think that terrible... I hope you can share sweetie... It would be a terrible loss.... I hope its good news hun... What clinic are you with??

Natalie xxxx


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## watn1 (Mar 14, 2008)

Hi,
  I am sorry to hear your news   Was it something they picked up on or was it from information you told them? 

I think as Katie said its a little unfair to say you can't share if they cannot even test. We could all have it.

  For next week then hun, Keep us posted


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## pabboo (Sep 29, 2007)

Thanks everyone.  

We're attending the clinic at Bourn Hall. 

And yes, it was something they knew about, because it was one of the tick boxes in the personal information section of the screening questionnaire, about yourself and your family and any problems they may have. That was the only one we needed to say "yes" to. 

I'm a bit upset that the questionnaire is meant to be a screening tool - so if this was a potential problem, why didn't they look into it before inviting us back for a consultation!? 

I agree, anyone could be a carrier - 1 in 10 men are colour blind to some extent, so lots of women must carry the gene. I'm really annoyed for my potential recipient - people wait so long to find an egg donor, I kinda feel that, as long as they know that this is a potential risk, it should be their choice whether they want me to be a donor or not. 

Maybe we will get the chance. As with most things in this process, we'll just have to wait and see, there's nothing we can do but hope.....


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## watn1 (Mar 14, 2008)

What do they do about people wanting to donate that do not know their biological parents?? Surely they cannot know everything??

or are they even allowed to donate? Dunno not sure?...

I too think it should be down the choice of the receiptant. There was a lady on here a few weeks ago that got a positive result for the CF gene and was told she may be able to share but it turns out they did ask the receiptant and they were happy to proceed. I know some clinic's give you a point blank 'No' 

So maybe there may be a hope for you at another clinic if not the one your at as i guess they all have different policies.

xx


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## PiePig (May 16, 2007)

Goodluck pabboo, I hope you are able to share, its not like colour blindness if a life threatening condition, and as everyone said if they can't test for it then anyone could be a carrier.

I'm sharing at bourn too....the nurses are lovely, although i think they may be getting slightly fed up with my constant phoning up (i'm not a very patient person unfortunately).  I hope they get back to you with a decision soon.

xxxx


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## veng (Mar 10, 2008)

have you thought about your DH donating sperm we were asked at our consaltation if we would be intrested and bourn hall would pay for IVF but not the drug ect.


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## pabboo (Sep 29, 2007)

veng said:


> have you thought about your DH donating sperm we were asked at our consaltation if we would be intrested and bourn hall would pay for IVF but not the drug ect.


Unfortunately, DH has azoospermia as a result of leukemia from when he was 19 (they didn't ask him if he wanted to freeze any sperm before treatment), so that option would be out for us.


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## veng (Mar 10, 2008)

sorry  
when will you find out if you can egg share ??


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## mini munch (Oct 15, 2005)

awww   it dosent seem right does it, keep your chin up and we will all
have our fingers crossed for you,   
love mini munch xxxx


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## pabboo (Sep 29, 2007)

We heard back today....

Well, I had to ring as we'd not heard anything and the Patient Liason officer read a letter out on our file which said it was a yes.....

Then we had another phone call from the consultant saying it was the wrong letter and the answer is actually no. We cannot donate. Apparently this is in keeping with new guidelines from somewhere (HFEA? Somewhere else? I was too upset to listen). 

So. A big fat no. No egg sharing for us.


Think we will try and save up enough money for IVF without sharing. I can't bring myself to start the process from scratch with another clinic.


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## PiePig (May 16, 2007)

so sorry paboo



hope you are able to get the money together for your cycle


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## AirmansWife (Apr 30, 2006)

Pabboo, I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.  I know a lady in the States who has been an egg donor three times even though she has endo.  She told me all the recipients know before accepting her eggs.  I'm shocked she is allowed to donate.


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## PiePig (May 16, 2007)

when you say endo do you mean endometriosis airmans wife?


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## AirmansWife (Apr 30, 2006)

Yes


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## mojitomummy (Jun 17, 2008)

watn1 said:


> What do they do about people wanting to donate that do not know their biological parents?? Surely they cannot know everything??
> 
> or are they even allowed to donate? Dunno not sure?...


Well i wasn't able to donate eggs as I'm adopted. I was really annoyed as I'd always planned to donate eggs - precisely BECAUSE I'm adopted and i know what my mum & dad had to go through to have children (eg me and my bro). So when I found out me and DH needed IVF (DH has no sperm - sorry forgot proper word) I thought egg sharing would be perfect.

I couldn't believe that they turned me away without even asking people waiting for a donor. People go to anonymous donors abroad so why not have an egg from a healthy person on their doorstep?!

I know that there were no known family illnesses at the time I was adopted as that info came with me so to speak. And i've not had any other problems on their list either. I'd also had all the ££££ blood tests they wanted doing and then they told me i couldn't do it.

Pabboo - so sorry to hear your story. Its really crazy and so horrid of the clinic to send out a letter and then tell you otherwise. Have you had any luck getting tx since?

I would be curious to know what people who need donated eggs think..

xx


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## watn1 (Mar 14, 2008)

becky100 said:


> watn1 said:
> 
> 
> > What do they do about people wanting to donate that do not know their biological parents?? Surely they cannot know everything??
> ...


Shocking


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## NuttyJo (Jun 29, 2007)

AirmansWife said:


> Pabboo, I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. I know a lady in the States who has been an egg donor three times even though she has endo. She told me all the recipients know before accepting her eggs. I'm shocked she is allowed to donate.


sorry if this sounds silly but why wouldnt she be allowed to donate? i dont think endo is a heiredatory (sp?!) disease is it?


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## Skybreeze (Apr 25, 2007)

Hi Jo

Endo is heiredatory is runs in the family.... 

Becky.. I am shock you cant donate because you adopted, I thinks its totally wrong!!


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## NuttyJo (Jun 29, 2007)

i never knew that as no one in my family, mum or dads side, has it


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Mine neither. My whole family are ridiculously fertile and healthy gynacologically wise. I'm the only messed up one. 

I have endo and egg shared. Nobody mentioned to me that you wouldn't be allowed because of it. I'm far from the only endo sufferer on FF who has done so either so it's obviously not that big a deal. Blimey I reckon if you stopped people egg sharing for every possible hereditary condition out there nobody would be allowed! Such a shame. I do think the potential recipient should have the final say, not some policy written in print. 

C~x


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## PiePig (May 16, 2007)

Yep, I'm the only one in my family with endo as well, they are all ridiculously fertile too!


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## NuttyJo (Jun 29, 2007)

phew! glad im not the only messed up one who a highly fertile family


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