# St Barts Part 4



## Kyla (Nov 23, 2004)

Kyla - IVF#1 - BFN. Waiting for AF to start FET cycle.

Nicky - IVF #1 - Cancelled. Waiting for follow up appointment.

Fran - Suprise PG! (First consult appointment 24th Aug probably not needed!)

Sue - 4 x IVF - BFN. IVF #5 appointment 24th August.

Ronnie - IVF# 1 about to start! Info session 23rd August.

Sarah - IVF#1 - BFN - IVF #2 around Sept/Oct.

Dacyj - 3 x IVF - BFN. IVF #4 appointment 31 October.

Leanne - IVF# 1 - in progress - EC 8th August - 8 eggs, 6 embies! ET 10th August.

Heather - IVF #1 - in progress - EC 8th August -7 eggs, 4 embies! ET 10th August.

Heidi - IVF # 1 - BFN. FET Oct/Nov.
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## Kyla (Nov 23, 2004)

Fran - Great news on your u/s! Bet it was amazing to see.

Ronnie - Im waiting for AF (due in less than a week now!!) and then I will be on my FET cycle. I have to book an u/s for CD7 (normally CD9 but I often O early) to check my lining etc... Only two appointments for me - u/s and then ET as Im doing a natural cycle. How are you feeling? Sorry your mum reacted funny. I wonder why she mentioned your age, I mean its not like you are 16!  

Leanne - Good luck today! Hope it all goes smoothly. My ET was fine although one of the embies got stuck in the catheter so it had to be done twice (can happen but not harmful), and the Dr's mobile went off which made us all laugh (and DH worried it would radiate the embies).

Heather - Good luck today too! Hope the drive goes okay. We used to get the train but drove up in the weeks following the London attacks. Not too bad a drive, managed to park around the corner and then walk in (about 3 mins walk).

Sue - Man, your mum sounds tricky. I bet you have to bite your tongue when you speak to her! What kind of cat do you have? We have two boys, they are about 5 years old now and still my babies!

Heidi & Nicky - Hope you two are okay - check in when you can we miss you!


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Thanks Kyla for moving us up and the update schedule.  Looks like the time is coming for all of us.  Well, sadly not for Heidi and Nicky - but one day again soon.  I think there was a Daycj also.  Roll on 1 week for you.

Leanne & Heather, hope you both had wonderful news today and are now on the way home with 2 little ones each.  Plus decisions made on what to do with the remaining ones.  It's an odd feeling to walk into hosp as you but to know you will walk plus 2 "preg".  Any worries about pessaries?

Ronnie, yea my bro is a great inspiration to us - whilst he is not walloping and punishing all the time, the kids do know when to stop and not push it.  He's turned out great, only regret for him is that he did go off the rails and ended up in Borstal for petty crimes, but got through and now finds jobs just like that.  He does realise his error because he can't the sort of job he would like because of his past.

Kyla - my mother is nightmare, no tongue to bite because I haven't seen or spoken to her for 12 yrs OMG.  When I walked out a ton was lifted off my shoulders and my marriage was saved.  I think you will notice how good you feel Ronnie, when "auntie" goes to China.

My cats are Buffy female tabby about 6-8 ish, picked her up from a Preston Park Rd house, 2 yrs back.  My friend says she is good toddler practice because sometimes I feel like a "no ing machine".  It's don't scratch chair/rug/stairs, get down etc.  She is up trees, on the house roof you name it.  Very happy at mo because she is a sunbather.  Billy is all black probably about 13, and he hates sun and heat.  But he is poorly and without medication and diet his days are numbered.  I think all us girls substitute cats for babies.

Sue


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## lc1502 (May 22, 2005)

Thanks for the update Kyla. 

Well I'm back home, it's such a wierd feeling, you were very right Sue, it's gone from being all clinical and medical (in my head) to real life and strange, I suddenly feel all protective and responsible.  It's all good though, this is what it's all about.  All the way back on the train we were both saying how wierd it was that they were inside me.  It was really good news today, all 6 survived.  I've got 4 grade a's 4 cells, one he said was an a+ and the other 3 a-'s so the two best were put back.  2 weren't so great and he didn't think would survive the freezing process so we let them go and the other 2 good ones have gone to the freezer.  Feels so exciting now

Heather, you were in the cubicle next to me, I went in as you were back.  I saw your DH chair wheels under the curtain - I was going to say hi through the curtain but thought best not    Hope it went well for you too. 

I'm off to watch sleepless in seatle now, nice chilled girlie film. 

x


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Hello all,

Hope u all well.  Ah, it's funny Leanne, as I wondered whether I would see you there - just told my dh and he said he thought your koala joke was funny   ?! and he'd said he'd heard u saying u needed to pee - same as me, could barely walk afterwards as bursting to go to loo, think i was in loo when he went back to cubicle.  It's nice and relaxing in there isn't it?  Although did u have someone observing? - I did and it was a bit wierd having 2 men down that end    - I'm such a newbie to gynae things.  u could have said hello, but it's a wierd time isn't it to know where everyone else is at.    
Well done on your embies that's brilliant news and great u got some frozen.  Real big wishes for u that these stick and grow, 2 weeks to go!!

2 of the 4 embies were grade a, 2 cells and these were put in, the other 2 not good so have let them go.  So really hoping that this works, it is strange now, feel responsible too and feel so aware of womb area again (bit bloated anyway, but know this has nothing to do with it - imagination working over time!!)

Sue - Must be frustrating and tough to not have support of mum, do you find your friends are more crucial to u as a result?  I am lucky with great support from family, though sometimes it can be a little suffocating, wouldn't change them for the world.  as my dh's and friends' families are so different, they find it a bit bizarre with my family commitments - it is ridiculous that we have to get welfare of child forms signed, don't know what world the hfea live in!!  

Ronnie and Leanne - sounds like your mum's are bits of nightmares too.  Families are such hard work aren't they?  Crazy!! I think parents hate to admit mistakes as they usually feel they did the best they could, but for us it helps so much to hear that they realise now that they did things wrong. 

Kyla - Thanks for moving us and update, great to see where everyone's up to. Not long to go now, hope you're able to chill out in meantime. 

Fran - great news, must have felt good to cancel appointment. 

Hope everyone else is OK.

People are a bit mixed about me and dh going through Ivf, some people presume its me automatically (usually men!!) and others presume dh, and then because it's more of a mechanical thing (i.e. getting sperm out of dh), everyone seems to assume it's going to happen first time, which is lovely and positive but bizarre too.  So far we've been lucky but just never know whether it will turn into bfp, it would be good to have a bit more understanding.  I think dh is losing patience with me as well at moment, been quite snappy with me and it feels as if he's saying 'right, i've been nice for the last few weeks, now snap back to normal!' so bit upset at moment.  He's been really great and done most things over last few weeks but now he's been clear with me that he thinks i should just get back to normal now and carry on as if i wasn't pregnant, as in most circumstances people wouldn't know they're pregnant.  I understand where he's coming from, but am also still feeling tired and want to rest more, now just feeling more guilty than usual (lapsed catholic!)  Sorry to ramble, but does anyone know what I mean?  Realise I probably should just get back on with things, but don't want to jeopardise anything.    It's easy to start getting angry with him as well, as it's not as if he's kept the house spotless and clean, like I did when he was laid out   
hmm, guess it's been difficult for him too....

Last question for everyone - what would you do?  Me and sister have got mum and dad a garden table and chairs (small but heavy) and we need to set them up in mum and dad's garden by sat lunchtime.  sister is pregnant, so can't lift them and sister has said i shouldn't lift them.  Dh thinks i should lift them and it won't do any harm.  I just don't know, hate being a wuss, but not sure - what would you do? 

Thanks for listening to me going on, hope you all are having good days, hope you've enjoyed Sleepless in Seattle, Leanne and speak soon.  

Heatherxxxx


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

Hi Kyla - Thanks for transferring us all over to a new thread. 

Heather & Leanne - Brilliant news! Glad today went really well for you both. I've got everything crossed for you for the next fortnight. Did you take pictures of your embies after the transfer?

Heather, if you're not comfortable lifting the table & chairs (I wouldn't either if I've just my little embies transferred back in), then don't. Your body is telling you that you need to rest so you'll need to take it easy & give them the best chance possible. You have nothing to feel guilty over. Can your bil/a neighbour help? 

Sue - whenever my mother goes abroad for a long period of time, my dh always comments on the change in me & how much calmer I am without her! I will miss her when she goes next year, but at the same time, I'm looking forward to it because it means I won't be responsible for her anymore. No doubt she'll still ring me when she needs my help, but what can I do 7000 miles away??

Yes I think cats are our substitute babies.  I'm a volunteer for the local Cats Protection League & take kittens/cats to the vets & back to their foster parents. I would have had most of them back home with me given half a chance but dh puts his foot down every time..sigh!

Had my consultation appointment with the acupuncturist this afternoon. After taking down my details, he took my pulse & looked at my tongue. He then stuck 3 needles in me in various places. He worked on my sluggish spleen/bladder/kidneys & liver & he said he's also worried about my lack of reserve energy that if I get pregnant, it maybe too much for me afterwards - eek!!! I made another appointment in a fortnight's time & then when we start tx I'll see him about 3-4 times. I don't really know how to take the news!!!

Speak soon

Ronnie


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Heather - first your DH  , he's got me on a rant!  This is you time, you need to put yourself and only you first for the next 2 ww.  It is a very crucial time for the embies to be implanting and you don't want to do absolutely anything that might cause them to jumpship.  So NO to lifting tables and chairs you are in your sis's situation and that is it.  As for him saying it is time for you to take over stuff because you wouldn't usually know you were preg.  He has a point, but you wouldn't usually have taken heaps of powerful hormone drugs, interrupted nature by taking the eggies out and now putting embies back.  Which means you are not a usual preg woman.  So I say you must act preg because you know you are!. Although when it comes to food and drink say, then I think you can be a bit lenient as a normal woman would.  Also as this if your first time you don't know what or how they will take.  Thing is if you do something because DH says you should, and then you bleed, how will you feel about DH - probably not a lot.  How will DH feel - hopefully terrible.

I think it is especially important for you to take it as easy as poss, because you only have these 2.  Thought of going through it all again - I would stay in bed.  DH is going to have to get use to lots of changes when you are huge and a baby to consider.

If you feel tired, that is your body telling you something and you must listen and do what is needed ie; rest or sleep.  If you feel out of sorts it is not going to help embies.

When I was on one of my 2 ww's, I set myself one job and prepare dinner a dinner.  Mon only washing, Tues cleaning bath etc, fortunately we have laminate most places so I could sweep over.  However, in second week carpets were looking mucky and then I got a phone call from Agents to say I had a viewing.  So I got vacuum out, carried upstairs, thinking I will have to get used to it etc.  2 days later I bled, my friend went ballistic when she heard about hoover, said I should have got her to do it.  When test date arrived I knew answer.  Now I torture myself with the maybe's - especially as people didn't like house.

Ok, feeling calmer now.

Leanne & Heather - it is great news that you have 2 good news put back.  Even better for you to know also, Leanne that you have 2 frosties.

Ronnie, haven't heard from Barts so assume I am still there for 24th - so maybe I will see you another time.  No worries about worrying me.

What a great job you do volunteering for the cats - they need you.  If this baby road doesn't work I am off to my dream cottage in the middle of a field, with as many cats and dogs as DH will allow.  All mine have been rescued - they thank you for it.

RE: mothers, No I don't miss mine for support, because I never felt I had it.  I was only allowed out of house for school, so friends are a few very special ones and yes they are crucial.  Like Ronnie when I asked my mother about my childhood she said it was all my fathers doing, he was responsible also, but it is easy to blame him now his dead.

As for your mother, Ronnie, sounds like shes not the responsibility not the kids.

Wonder what he means about reserve energy, hopefully he can work on that and build you up.  Interesting you are going in fortnight, I have another on this Sat.

Well better go, have also found a cat pic, just got to download it.

Take care - Heather leave home!

Sue


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Thanks Ronnie and Sue - its really helpful to hear your views.  Have just had a dig around too on other boards, and most people say no heavy lifting on 2ww, so will dig my heels in on this one, and bil will have to do!!  U r so right Sue, and that's so how i feel - can't believe he's been so insensitive on this one, really don't want anyone or thing to blame for lack of success.  And helps me realise am not being a wuss!!  U r brilliant, thanks so much for support, means so much to me and helps get through this!!  

Wasn't given an option of having photos,don't think they had right equipment? Or have i missed out on something - did u get photo Leanne?

Hmm, guess u got mixed messages from acu really, but guess that the negative bits are things they can help with over future treatments.  Keep positive - in terms of it maybe being too much afterwards, people manage and don't take to heart too much.   Sounds like u do great job with Cats Protection League - must be really hard to resist taking them home, me and dh talk about getting cat and think if this cycle is unsuccessful then we will need to do something!!

Am going to get lost in a good book now!! 

Heatherxxxx


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Heather - enjoy your book hope it's war and peace! Hint a long one.  By all means check with us for back up if you need a gang v DH.

Another rant - the welfare of child form.  What is that all about.  Ok I'm a bit more ahead of you guys, but haven't we all had hours/months/years to consider the responsibilities/financial implications etc.  After all we probably rego over everything before every IF treatment be it Clomid or another.

So when I hear my neighbour's son age 17 just passed his driving test and got his first car, then announce we only done it the once, honest mum.  Now himself, his 16 yr girl and their baby live in her bedroom of her mum's house along with god knows how many animals, stepbro, sis etc, while they wait for a flat.

Also one day Heather's DH take note, I was on my 2 ww and my DH says you look tired today stay in bed or on the sofa resting.  So I did, put TV on to see woman very preg on Trisha saying she doesn't know which of 3 men is the father, what should she do.

I do wonder what world do the HFEA live in.  Same as HIV & HEP, we can swear we are safe but it is of no use.  Our GP even insisted on counselling for what if, before the test.

Anyway - over to you.  Have a good evening.  Rest well Leanne & Heather, if the excitement lets you.  I guess you will be testing around time Ronnie & I are up at Barts.

Sue


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Thanks Sue,

Well update on dh - i went in and said i wasn't going to do it and he said he agreed once thought about it and was really sorry  Think we're both a bit low today, been a tough week and he agreed i got to do whatever i feel is right, rest etc, he then went on to cook a beautiful meal, so i'm happy again!! Phew - wot a rollercoaster - so all ok.  Have been doing some relaxation exercises and back to positive thinking on those embies now - divide embies divide and implant   .  War and peace    

Completely agree re: welfare of child - when we were at barts today, the jeremy kyle show was on and again 1 woman not knowing which of 3 men are father to child - mad world we live in.  

Will be testing on 25th, day after ur at barts - although its not long, feels a long way off doesn't it?  Fingers crossed for us all. 

Take care and thanks again,

Heatherxxxx


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## JM (Feb 27, 2005)

Hi girl's, 

Have been reading thread for a while but haven't contributed till now (bit shy).  Just wanted to let you know we had our first scan yesterday at Bart's and saw 7 wk 6 day foetus after medicated FET (First ICSI failed).  

It just goes to show they do have success stories and to keep on hoping as your dreams can come true.  I think the staff there have been great and they really are so genuinely happy for you when it finally happens. 

Heather - I had to sit through the dross of Jeremy Kyle at Bart's yesterday and it is so annoying that the dregs of society seem to get pregnant so very easily!

Anyway just want to wish you all the best luck in the world for many more healthy Bart's pregnancies to come.

Jane


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Heather - read your mail before bed last night, and was so pleased that DH had changed his mind.  Tell him it made me sleep well.  My DH says, oh no, don't upset all the DH's, he hopes we don't meet at Barts!  But of course we won't because you are on your way to moving over to another board -  .

Jane - it's good of you to make contact, you shouldn't have been shy, it was my rant made you stay away!

It is good news to hear of your   success, gives us all the energy to continue.  I am sure Kyla will take comfort from you because she soon starts FET.  It is also good news to hear more feedback on the staff at Barts.

Don't know where that hottest day went today.

Sue


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

Hi Girls

Heather - I was relieved that you won't have to lift the table & chairs. If we lived nearer each over, I would have popped over & moved them for you!!! Having read Sue's rant (I thought I was pretty restraint!), if your dh hadn't changed his mind, I reckon Sue would have driven over & given him a piece of her mind!!!

Jane - Welcome & congratulations! Reading emails like yours really give us a boost, cos one day, it could be us!!

Talking of the dregs of society getting pregnant just by sneezing, have you read the papers (sun!) today? This woman, who's 41 has had 15 children & gets £49,000 in hand-outs - I nearly choked on my lunch when I was reading this! 

Ronnie


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Hi Ronnie

Was feeling a bit down (not sure why), but reading your msg made me LOL, dead right I was driving over to him.  Accepted he is in a chair and prob has difficulties to get through, but boy what's Heather doing.  After reading her msg I went out to cook dinner, DH nearly had a burnt one and he says he's done nothing - YET!

Can see I need to hand rant over to you now, it's women like that, that help remind me that I am not letting society or the failing population down, someone has done my bit as well.

Jane's news is great - does indeed boost us.

Sue


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Hello,

Ronnie and Sue    - please say sorry to your dh for burnt dinner Sue, he must have wondered wot was going on!!! We are definately back in a happy household today - dh cleaning kitchen and me lying on sofa    - he's got most of next week off too, so we're going to do some nice things together.

Jane- That's great news, really posiitive.  We must have been in waiting room around same time yesterday. Do u keep going back to Barts for scans now? I'd thought we'd be in hand of local services once pregnant, but was pleased yesterday to be told there'd be a scan a few weeks after bfp (if it arrives..)

Hope ur all having good rest of days - i'm looking forward to BB tonight, the grand final!!

Heatherxxxxx


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## lc1502 (May 22, 2005)

Girls you had me laughing last night with the rants (only after I'd read Heathers to show they'd made up), I made sure I read all of your words to my DH so he knows not to mess with me otherwise I'll set you all on him. Only irritating thing my DH did, which he did get a look of death for, was as I was waiting to go in for my e/c - drug thing in back of the hand already, feeling a bit scared as you do, my DH had the nerve to complain that his 'contribution' had given him such a headache - purleaase!! 

Welcome Jane, it's really good to hear a positive story whilst on the 2ww and congratulations.  

I had a very sleepless night last night worrying if they were still dividing, what they were doing, etc.  and that's only the first day!! What am I going to be like by the end.....  but saying that the sleepless night could also be because I didn't watch Sleepless in Seattle yesterday afternoon - I fell asleep - for 3.5 hours!! but my mind was still in overdrive. 

I too watched that programme in the waiting room - how funny we were all there round about the same time!! 

Heather, yes I did have that guy observing, I'm sure I was blushing the whole way through and I have had quite a few gynae things in the past but even so he just stood and stared.  How embarrassing your DH heard me say I pee like a koala   I have to say it is true .... 

I too have found the staff at Barts to be fab, they're all so smiley and make you feel really at ease. 

I've just been for a nice spa afternoon with my MIL, had a pedicure so nice and relaxing.  Only had to tell one little lie when she asked when treatment will be starting - I'm soo going to hell! Of to a wedding reception tonight - actually thinking about it today I've not stopped - hmm must slow down but I feel like normal today and keep forgetting.


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Leanne, yea it's natural to feel like you've forgotten what's happened, strange really considering.  That's why I found the pics so helpful so I could keep looking at them as a reminder.  As you do forget another reason why you must be careful, so easy to get carried away - if you are forgetting already next week will be even worse.

Glad you all had a laugh at my rants - yep any DH's not helping I'm in the car !  Mind you after reading Heather's about her DH coming round, making a lovely meal and agreeing to help out and do nice things.  I'm beginning to think I might need the support after all.  The level of support I get is time off to attend all appts. and anything need moving in the garden, because he's busy, busy - ooops is that another rant?

Heather, don't worry about burnt dinner - DH said I thought I could smell something funny.  I only rant when it comes to IF and us girls, so he knew what was going on.  Sounds like it's just as well I didn't watch that Kyle prog.

Kyla, been meaning to ask how is the house move?

Hope you all have a good w/e.  I'm off to see my bro and his tribe.  Also I do family trees and I have found someone who is related to my DH's step grandad, been looking for them because I have family bible to hand over.


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

Hi Sue - Hope you're not feeling too down.  It's funny isn't it, how we can feel a bit pants with no reasons. When I tell my dh that, he always say 'Why are you down, there must be reason..tell me!' Men just don't understand!! I find chocolate helps!!

Heather - tell your dh he really has to spoil you during the next fortnight & that you musn't lift a finger and that's an order from Sue!!!!!We're going to get a takeaway & watch Big Brother too - who do you want to win? I want Anthony to win purely because I've got him in our work sweepstake!

Leanne - I bet it was heavenly this afternoon, you thoroughly deserved to be spoilt! Enjoy this evening.

Words can't describe how I felt after reading that article.  Apparently she tried going on the pill but by the time she was due to take the first one the following month, she was already pregnant!! Same goes for sterilisation!

Speak soon

Ronnie


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## Kyla (Nov 23, 2004)

Sue - Thanks, so far - so good with the house. These things can always go wrong at any point but so far it's been good. Just waiting for our buyers to get the survey done on our house (all the others in the chain are done) and then it's down to the solicitors.

Jane - Thank you so much for stopping by. Its good to hear a BFP story - we've only had3 BFN's from our IVF's so far - plus Im about to start an FET cycle! Congratulations!

Heather - Im glad you decided not to lift them. The one thing I wish I hadnt done during my 2WW was run for the bus. This time Im not taking any chances (those what-if's are a killer) and will not be lifting anything heavier than a dinner plate!

Leanne - Ugh, the pee-agony. My ET was actually about an hour late and by that stage I was absolutly bursting. They let me go relive some of it but it was so hard to stop mid-pee I wish I had waited!!!  

Ronnie - I saw that story too! Outrageous!


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Good morning all,

It's a nice sunny day here in Essex, hope you're all having  good days too 

Leanne - Hope ur doing ok - it's such a wierd position to be in isn't it?  Every time I feel a twinge I wonder whether its a good or bad thing, but trying to keep my mind off it. Hope u enjoyed wedding reception and must have been nice to have a bit of pampering.  Ur mil will understand i'm sure when u tell her in the end.  Although I was pleased to tell everyone about it at beginning, if it is negative, it will be really hard to have to tell all those people about it, need to think of a strategy to deal with that... 

Sue - Thanks and remember if your dh doesn't pamper u enough, we will all be returning favour and in our cars, he'd better watch out!!!     Hope you have good weekend with your bruv's family, must be really interesting to do family tree stuff, but a long journey to find out about it all 

Ronnie -  Thank u, will do.  It was funny last night when dh came to bed he said again how sorry he was and thinks he was burying his head in sand about it all - i was really suprised, we've obviously both kept thinking about it.  I was glad Anthony won, though i wouldn't have minded if eugene won, he's been great too.  Usually when people get interviewed i start to like them even if i didn't before, but still didn't like makosi after her interview  

Kyla - Glad house move is going well up to now, and hope solicitors get on with their job quickly and u get to move when you want, will be v exciting when happens.  Can't believe they made u wait for an hour for et - know wot u mean re:hard to stop mid-pee - i had to relieve myself a bit before appointment and it was so tempting just to let go, but didn't 

Take care all and off to supervise the lifting of tables and chairs   

Heatherxxxx


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## lc1502 (May 22, 2005)

Hi,

Wedding reception wasn't all that - would much rather have stayed in with BB.  It was in Norfolk too and somebody that is a friend of DH so we knew no-one.  1 and half hours each way and we stayed hour and fifteen minutes.  Also DH drove way too fast and kind've forgot that I had a bit of a bruised stomach still so we argued most of the way, end result was a very grumpy and apparently nagging me, no doubt very shaken embryos and me missing BB.  DH opinion is that the embryos and all safe and sound and I should also just get on with it and act normal as women get pregnant every day, also reminded me of our friends one who went to Chessington whilst on her 2ww and another who went skiing and they both have or about to have bouncing babies.  He's obviously completely forgotten me reading out your messages to him on Thursday.  We did have a chat about it this morning (probably same as Heather and her DH) he said he didn't realise, etc and this afternoon I have spent on the sofa (catching up on BB - made sure it was recorded!) and he's making me dinner - although there is talk of a takeaway!  

Do you think these men get last minute panics about what's happening??

Heather  - hope chair supervising went well, it's raining in Mid-Essex so hope you didn't get wet.  

Kyla - can't believe they made you wait and hour - I was about 15 mins late, don't know how I would've coped with an hour!! Did you get to see the embryos first? We weren't given any opportunity to, kind've thinking now I wish we had,like Sue had said would've given us something to make us not forget they're there.  

Sue - hope you're feeling a bit more cheery today, and you had a nice time with your family.

Ronnie - hope you're ok - pampering was lovely.  I've got a spa day at Champneys next Saturday with a couple of really good friends - can't wait, it's my birthday the day after test day so it's for that.  Will make sure there's no pool, sauna or jacuzzi though  

God I always waffle on for ages - sorry!! 

x


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## JM (Feb 27, 2005)

Hi Everyone - Thanks so much for making me feel so welcome.

What a miserable day! Its been dark and raining all afternoon and feels more like winter than August!! 

I thought by now all the twinging would have stopped but still it goes on! Doctor and nurse said it's normal as lots of growing and stretching of uterus etc but I don't think we'll ever stop worrying and analysing it all!

Heather - Yes Bart's have signed me over to my GP now scan has been carried out so no more trips into London for a while (hopefully). Once you phone in with positive result they book you in for about five weeks after your ET - when the embryo/foetus will be about 7 weeks so hopefully they can definately see a heart beat.  Must admit the wait is hell and such a relief when you actually see little bubba in the right place. I kept getting quite painful twinges in my left side and had half convinced myself it was ectopic!    Good luck for 25th!!

Kyla - Good luck with the FET.  It's so much easier on you than IVF/ICSI as there is less of the stress from all the stimulation and EC plus it's a much shorter cycle. Are you medicated or natural??  They put me on medicated due to my age and irregular cycle but I think it's a good chance either way.  I think they know best anyway.  It's quite nerve racking on day of transfer though as we only found out they had survived the thaw 5 mins before we arrived at Barts!!  Phew what a relief!!  

Also, don't know if its normal or they were running out of space but we both had to get changed in what I can only describe as a broom cupboard and go straight in for ET.  There was none of the nice ward stuff - Weird!

Slightly annoyed with Barts today though as had another invoice for £450 for FET which was paid well before treatment. Will be on the phone to financial dept early Monday to put them right!  IVF costs so much anyway and definately don't want to pay twice!!

Anyway will go now as considering I didn't chirp up for ages am now seemingly unable to stop!!  

Take care and keeping everything crossed for you all

Jane xxx


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Morning girls - am feeling ok now, just go over it "as the men say", can't thank the weather  ,

Kyla, fingers crossed on the house move, it used to be my area of work, so you are right to be cautious that it could all go wrong.  I've seen too many people get too ready to move because they hadn't realised the pitfalls, onlly to be fuming.

You must be taking consolation from Jane: re her news, she is right it is so a FET is so much less stress.  Well except till the last minute because you don't know how frosties have thawed.

Jane can't believe you paid for a broom cupboard, I assumed typical NHS bung you anywhere, but then you said you got an invoice.  Admittedly it's cheaper than the Nuffield I was at, but I paid for a private room/ensuite.  The 2 ww seems endless, so goodness knows what you must go through to get to 7 wks.

Leanne, I am issuing your DH with a WARNING RANT, he will have none of this talk of normal and what friends did.  In the nicest possible way "you are not normal", you have been through something different from friends, and anyway whatever your situation how and what you do, should be different to what friends think they do.

Heather, hope you managed to sort the table/chairs out with no lifting involved.  I don't think your parents would want you to help either.

Cats, on my cycle buddies board, one girl asked if it was true drugs had to be kept in fridge.  I confirmed yes, she said just as well she has a child lock on it, otherwise when they are out one of her cats opens it and helps himself to whatever.  Most mine can do is tell me which cupboard their food is in, and I thought I had a brainy one.

Off to see bro in a bit.

Enjoy the day, but probably not outside.

Sue


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## Kyla (Nov 23, 2004)

Leanne - No I didnt get to see my embies either. I was a bit disapointed by that too.
With my DH, I told him that although many women do get PG on their own, if I havent managaged so far in 3.5 years and we just spent £3k on IVF why would I risk anything by lifting etc... Plus they werent made in their normal environment (ie a petri dish not a womb) and therefore are more fragile.
He was really good - made me dinner for the first week of the 2ww and kept telling me to take it easy  

Jane - A broom cupboard! LOL, I guess they must have just run out of room. They told us we would be phoned on the morning they defrost them whether at least one has survived as it will take us nearly 2.5 hours to get there. That is the one part Im nervous about. Im doing a natural cycle (as I have always had very regular Oing cycles) but I have some left-over prog sups and Im wondering if it would hurt to use them... Feels odd not to use anything, you know?

Sue - Re cats - one of mine can turn on lightswitches. He is very bouncy and if you run something up a wall he will chase it. We have those switches that stick out and he knocks them occasionally


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Hello all,

Hope u had good weekends

Leanne - Wot r they like?!!  If u want us set on your dh, let us know!!  Mine definately had bit of panic, we managed to chat quite a bit over weekend and he owned up to that, hope u got ur dinner ok and still being pampered   .  Got chairs and table on time, but they got soaked before m and d got there (they live in Brentwood), wot a wierd weekend of weather   

Jane - That must be wierd, feeling those twinges and knowing ur body getting ready to expand in big way!!  Difficult not to analyse everything i think, but sounds like u r doing well.  Hope u get all sorted ok with Barts, paperwork could do with a bit of improvement couldn't it?  

Sue - Hope u had good day yesterday, r u working or able to enjoy sun today?   Tables and chairs sorted fine and parents suprised and delighted.  Am taking it easy again today, but will tackle some clearing up this afternoon (just light duties though!!)

Kyla - good points re: ivf, hadn't thought of fragility of embies 

Take care and hope u have good day - am going to have a sneaky snooze listening to cricket   

Heatherxxx


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

Hi Girls

Sorry haven't written lately but our baby (cat) has gone AWOL - we last saw him Friday evening during the Big Brother final. Although he stays out quite a lot, he usually comes back for dinner when he's hungry.  We're beside ourselves with worry & haven't slept much since Saturday night when we came back home & he hasn't touched his dinner. We've taken the day off today to look for him & put posters up lamp-posts & flyers through neighbours' doors. 

Ronnie


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

O no Ronnie, that's awful, sending u   and hope search goes well,

Heather xxxx


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Hi Ronnie

So sorry, to hear that, what a nightmare.  I hope you find him real soon (safe and well) and there is a simple explanation.  Wish I was near because I would be there with you - know what it's like.

We will now become a cat chat room also!

Where is he  

Sue


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Kyla

been meaning to mention this - you said you regretted running in your 2 ww.  I know it is easier said then done (because I do it also), but don't torture yourself over this.

Apart from the one time I carried the hoover around the house on another occasion, I was in the garden just walking around, looking and we have some railway sleepers as steps, but it was damp and I slipped on them.  Didn't fall, just lost my footing and balance for a mo.

I mentioned this to the IVF Doc, and he said absolutely not.  He has had IVF women go through car accidents in their 2 ww and come out ok.  It is perfectly natural to blame and torture yourself, he said he sees it all the time, but if they take to you and implant, then it takes a lot for them to break away.  Your 2 sad to say just didn't like you.

Sue


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

Heather & Sue

Thanks for your support, I really appreciate it. We've dropped leaflets & put up posters. Have a list of numbers to call...not looking forward to phoning the Highways Cleansing...

Ronnie


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Ronnie - just a thought, (but I'm sure you have) ring all the vets.  When I found a little one sadly out the front of us, I didn't know who he belonged to so took him to the vets.  It was only because the owner phoned the vets that she found out what had happened.

Sue


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

Hi Sue

Thanks for the suggestion. We've been to the vet's down the road from us & they've put up a poster of Oscar on the window. I didn't realise there were so many rescue places around Brighton. Shame it's not centralised. Also went to the RSPCA but they are shut on a Monday! I'm sooooooooo tired but don't think I can sleep properly until he's home again.  Just hope he's just shut in someone's shed/garage & they let him out soon!

Ronnie


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## Kyla (Nov 23, 2004)

Sue - Thanks, re the running. I was late for a bus and made it to the stop only to get cramps. I was 12dpo and I thought for ages that is what made the embies un-stick. But you're right - they just didnt want me ''sigh''   Hoping the ones we defrost will want to stay just to avoiud the cold! 

Ronnie - Oh no! I hope he has just gone for a wonder. Our cat did that once when I lived at home and turned up a week later - no clue to where she had been. I would be lost without my babies. Is he Identi-chipped? Oh I do hope you find him honey.
Mine two are indoor cats as our previous cat was run over outside our house and I just couldt go through that again. These two have been indoors since kitten-hood and dont know any different. When we move soon (if the house sale goes through) we will let them out as the new neighbourhood is much quieter. Here I live on the No 22 bus route.


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

Hi Kyla

I hope he's just gone for a wander & totally forgotten about the time. He has been chipped & I've phoned most of the rescue centres & the road cleaning dept & he hasn't been brought in, so I guess no news is good news for now.  We've also knocked on all the neighbours doors & they've all gone & checked their garages & sheds - thank goodness we live in a cat neighbourhood. We just have to wait now. DH said if anything happens to Oscar, we're not getting another cat as he won't be able to go through this all over again. 

Are you close to starting FET? 

Ronnie


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Hello all,

Ronnie - yes, maybe he's off on an adventure, really hope so, it must be so painful now, good that neighbours understand

Speak to u all soon,

Hxxxxx


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Ronnie - is Oscar home or any news?

Kyla - re: your frosties avoiding the cold, reminded me when I had mine done.  Because I am a cold person I said frosties wouldn't mind being with me because they were used to the cold already.  Whereas in previous cycles they left home because it was too cold.  Well it was a great theory at the time!

Leanne & Heather - still progressing with lots of rest?

On my cycle buddies board, one of the girls has described me as being a negative girly re: treatment.  There are a few 1st timers, and they are jumping up and down, planning so I advised them not to set their hopes to high.  If you agree, I am sorry for that.  I am sure I'm not really - well other than the frustration of waiting for the date to arrive, yet my age still moving, but aren't we all in that boat?

Very cloudy, well foggy here.  But I hear on Southern FM it is lovely in Portslade - great.

Sue


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## Kyla (Nov 23, 2004)

Sue - I think after 13 years TTC you are more than entitled to your opinion as you have a lot of experience. I dont think it hurts to remind people to step back from the excitement a bit either - you can get so caught up in it that you fall harder if it goes wrong. I like to think I had a fairly happy balance and Im certainly much more realistic this time round. Dont let them bother you - they may soon learn after all  

Ronnie - Any sign of Oscar today hon? Im 12dpo today and AF is due in a day or two. Then its a natural FET cycle so nothing to do until CD7 for an u/s. The great thing this time is there is no pressure as I know what it's all like and also I have an NHS go waiting for me if this doesn't stick again.


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## FEW (Apr 7, 2005)

Ronnie

what does oscar look like and i will keep my eyes open around my way. I have two cats and they have lots of catty freinds I might see him!!

Fran


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## FEW (Apr 7, 2005)

opps

just seen oscar's piccy will keep eyes open 

Fran


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

Hi Sue - I don't think you were being negative, I think realistic is probably a better choice of word which I think is far wiser than premature planning. 

Kyla - roll on AF. We're due in Bart's on the 23rd so may bump into you there!

No, Oscar still hasn't turned up yet.  Dropped off loads more flyers in neighbours postboxes & will walk down the other side of the fields/opening after dinner. Still hoping he's just trapped in a garage/shed somewhere...

Fran - thanks for keeping an eye out for our boy. How are you feeling?

Ronnie


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## FEW (Apr 7, 2005)

Ronnie

I am feeling good neusea is not too bad tiredness is the worst but I just sleep loads at least I have an excuse now  

when did oscar go missing as I am sure I saw one up the back of the fields on Sunday far end in clear bit by mobile phone mast?

fran


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## noodle (Jan 21, 2005)

Hi Girls, "I'm Back again!!!  Did you all miss me??

I'm so sorry its been ages, I have had some problems to deal with these past couple of months  

Kyla - how you doing babe? I've missed our little chats  
I think I'm over the worst of everything now, just looking forward to what the future may bring to me & DH? xxx

Ronnie - hows things going with you Hun? Not so long now? I hope all goes well for you? xx keep in touch

Fran - congrats! I haven't been around for a while & it looks like I have missed a lot of things! I'm really pleased for you xx

Heidi - I'm so sorry to hear your bad news, how are you feeling Hun? Just drop me a line anytime, I know how you must be feeling  

hi to everyone else, sorry I don't know you all, I have been off this site for a while with things to deal with, I hope you are all well & hope to chat with you all very soon xxxx

Take care girls, lots of love to you all
noodle xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## lc1502 (May 22, 2005)

Hi,

I'm doing ok - analyzing every twinge as you do, thanks for asking Sue.  My (TMI warning) pessary discharge had a very slight pink tinge to it yesterday so I was a bit worried about that but hoping its an implantation sign.  I'm definitely swinging from feeling really quite positive to no way but also at the same time I'm trying hard not to think about it too much. 

I'm very much enjoying not being at work though, had a lovely day at Bluewater on Monday with my friend and 6 month old godson, and yesterday did some baking and met a couple of friends for dinner.  So taking it easy.  Today I'm off for accupuncture and a haircut.. 

With regard to DH, I was left on the sofa for hours and ignored, dinner was a slice of pizza and then our friends arrived unannounced, she is 7 months pregnant and likes to rub it in (not a great friend) so once they'd gone the tears started and we had another 'chat'.  Turns out he's gone completely back to acting as though nothing is happening so that he doesn't get disappointed, he'd rather think it's failed and everything is back to normal, I can understand that but explained that we've got the best possible chance right now and we should do all we can to help. Had a good clear the air and he's been much better since then and has helped out quite a bit - I've also widdled out of him where he's taking me for my birthday next week, it's the day after test day so I needed something to look forward to - he's taking me to the Ritz for dinner, can't believe it, so excited.  

Heather how are you doing?  I read another board sometimes and there's a girl on there that went to the same info session as me but ended up a week ahead - she's just tested 3 days early and has got a positive.  This was her first go too, she didn't get a great grade of embryos and shes suffered quite a few cramps ever since so was convinced it hadn't worked.  So another positive story from Barts.

Ronnie - any news on Oscar?? My sisters cat has gone missing a few times up to 6 weeks at a time, they moved 4 years ago and he's done it ever since they moved once or twice a year.  She's no idea where he goes but he always comes back a bit tatty and a bit thinner but ok.  I hope you get some news soon though. 

Sue - can't believe they said that you're negative... again you have a right to be realistic after all that time but I've never found you to be negative! 

Kyla - not long now.


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Morning girlys and thanks a bunch  

I wouldn't say that I was offended re: the negativity just knocked a bit.  I was asked advice on what happens in IVF and what to expect.  Told them not to get their hopes set too high etc.  As Kyla says they will learn.  It was just that in asking me what to expect one of the answer is your hopes.  Because experience tells me now that's what happened to me, Doc said I need IVF, great I thought a cure all, preg next month, baby 9 mon.  That's not always the case.  True there are exceptions and some girls are lucky.

So I was worried that I am advising and supporting your girls but filling you with negs.  So thanks clearly not, maybe we are bit more level headed on this board!  Anyway enough of that 

I think my only is frustration at AF's arriving and me not doing anything about it.  Because my car is in the pits and I want to go higher up the roller coaster, it will soon.


Leanne that's great news and feedback - so we know of 2 successes at Barts.  First timer as well (see above).

Good to hear you are resting, but shame on DH.  He must have really enjoyed that headache he got  , cos he wants another.  I think it is tough on DH's mine went back to normal, completely forgot and didn't want to get hopes up, so he could change to being helpful when needed - when it was good news.

RE: the discharge and twinges, yea try not to read too much into them at the moment.  I know it is easy to analyse them all - I think we all do, each and every cycle as well.  With regards to the discharge I found the disadvantage of vaginally doing them was - tmi- you could feel the discharge leaking out, so I was back and forth to the loo all the time as well, because I also had AF feelings.  Why is it you can't wait for it to arrive to get started. then you want it to stay away.  If you do get a discharge, you must rest with your feet up, in bed, sofa.  With the twinges it could be things going wrong, but could be implantation, could be side effect of pessaries, could be uterus adapting - who knows right now.

Ronnie, you and DH must be beside yourselves.  I really hope he is somewhere, and forgotten where he is or something daft.  You assume that they are happy and it is only the neglected ones that leave home.  I hope you will still feel strong enough and able to go ahead with your schedule.

Noodle, it's great to hear from you, sorry you've had a tough time -  hope all is sorted and you and DH are back on the level.

Fran, it's great to hear how well you are doing too.  Pleased the nausea is not too bad, it must be better to cope with tiredness and sleeping rather than sickness.  My friend was advised to eat 2 biscuits ginger or digestive before getting out of bed in the morning.  Look at you with your little calendar 8 wks - gosh.

Kyla hoping AF arrives on time - prob won't as you want it.

Sadly my Nan died the other day, have just heard.  Haven't seen her for awhile because of my mother.  Can't go to the funeral either because of my mother!  Last time I went to my bro's funeral I had to have tranx to keep me sane knowing that the funeral was up and coming.  Can't afford to be doing that now with those sort of drugs in my system.  So I will do my own thing.  Have contacted undertakers and found out where she is to be buried so I will visit at a later date.  She was 97 so can't complain and she wasn't ill until the end.

Anyway, god I've nattered.  Sat down here to do some real work and earn some pennies, so I must.

Thanks again, hope you can enjoy this   
Sue


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

Hi Sue

Only a quickie (at work!)..I'm really sorry to hear about your Nan. It must be frustrating not to be able to go to her funeral. Can you go & see her at the undertaker's before the burial date? You can say your goodbyes privately.

Take car - speak more tonight

Ron


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Hello all,  feels like a while since been on.  Went out for picnic during day yesterday and had friend round for dinner in eve, so bit to catch up with.

Sue - I agree with others, you're definately not negative, just realistic and it's helpful to hear your comments re: 2ww as it's so hard to predict from any feelings - i've had odd twinges, but bloating gone down, boobs not as sore and feeling a bit pmt-ish, but know that these are no signs either way really, so trying to keep mind on other things and not analysing too much.  Really sorry about your nan, that must be really difficult and hope you're able to do something in your own way that doesn't cause too much stress, thinking of u   

Ronnie -  Hope u r doing ok and Oscar turns up soon   

Only a week to go til both your appointments now isn't it?  Lets hope this week goes quickly!

Kyla - Hope that af comes along today or tomorrow and u can get on with cycle - good that u r feeling balanced about it all, fingers crossed for u   

Leanne - Hope u doing ok, how r u feeling in yourself?  Yesterday, I was feeling the brightest i've felt for weeks, clear head and happy - today feel v pmt-ish, bit miserable and snappy, but trying to control myself with dh!!  No cramps, slight twinges every now and again.  I read posts on Ask the Nurse board about discharge and apparently that is all normal and ok, sending you    vibes, only just over a week to go.  Good to hear another positive story.  How's your dh?  Don't think it's going to be easy until after next Thursday is it, as it's all speculation until then and i guess our moods are not always in tune with each other, my dh is doing my head in but think at the moment it is more my fault than his, just feeling a bit down and think he is being too positive, but hey!!!  What will be will be......    

Fran - Good to hear from u and hope u r enjoying plenty of rest and being well looked after 

Noodle - Welcome back, hope u r well and ok and look forward to more chats 

Got friends and their family over later, so bit of cleaning and shopping to do, not sure feel up to company at mo, but will probably be a good thing, hope u all have a good day  

Heatherxxxx


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Heather

Sorry to hear you are not feeling quite right - it's all down to hormones I'm afraid, being all over the place.  Just as your body is getting use to all the injecting ones than you go and change it all.  The pessaries are a hormone also, so another reason to be up and down.

The boobs not being sore is because that final injection you had at the exact time is the same as the hormone that you produce when preg, so that is why they were sore and now it is out of your system they aren't.

Bloating obviously because your ovaries are back to normal after follies have gone.  It is all another reason why DH's need to be supportive and understanding, to hope you only have this the once.

As I said before the twinges/cramps/discharge can be any reason, so don't read into them.  Everything sounds as though it is as can be expected at this stage.  Even nat preg girls get the twinges etc.  They just don't realise that they should be worried!

Are you and your DH together all the time at the mo.  Maybe you need a bit of a break from each other - have your own space.  Hopefully friends and family will help ease the tension and make a break for you.

Seems we are all on 1 wk countdown now, Ronnie for info, me for 1st appt, Kyla for AF, Fran & Jane will be into 10wks, Leanne and yourself for test.  Sorry is anyone else that close?

Ronnie do be careful logging on at work, don't know about your company but they do/can have knowledge behind the scenes of what sites you are looking at, some do printouts and analyse them.  Sorry no news on Oscar.

RE: my Nan, thanks for sympathy.  It is tough in a way but on the other hand because I hadn't seen her for such awhile it seems easier because I have already had the bereavement - if you know what I mean.  Thanks Ronnie for your suggestion of going to the undertakers.  I'd rather not, and remember her as I knew her, maybe because of the break I don't feel the need to actually acknowledge her death in that way.  I have arranged for flowers to be sent - that will cause a certain person to air words in itself.  Then at some stage we are going to the cemetery to say goodbye then.  I know the date and time so I can do my 2 min silence at home.  She gave me some lovely momentos years back, so I've got those.  When I received the call it started "sue I've got bad news for you ....."  How wicked am I, I immediately thought it was my mother!

Sue


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## lc1502 (May 22, 2005)

Sue so sorry to hear about your nan.  Sounds like you've got a nice idea of doing your own private goodbye. 

Heather - I'm ok, probably having my down day today too.  Last two days have felt great, more energy then I've had for weeks and felt almost normal.  This morning though DH annoyed me again, had a moan that I should be doing some exercise whilst I'm off and be looking after myself - sorry but I thought I was by taking it easy, so I've stewed all morning which probably does me more harm.  He's off for the next two days, I was looking forward to it but all we've seem to do when we're together at the moment is annoy each other and I've had a better time when I've been doing my own thing.  We'll see, it might do us some good.  I think we're going to go out somewhere nice for the day.  I admit I'm probably more hormonal then normal so we're just as bad as each other.  Maybe as we're both experiencing the DH tensions and the down mood today this is just part of the IVF journey and the way it's supposed to be.  

Thanks for looking up about the discharge thing, I feel a bit better now. 

Off to accupuncture and then a haircut this afternoon.  Hopefully that'll cheer me up.


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

Hi Girls

Heather - don't do too much housework..I'm sure your friends won't mind. I bet your house is already immaculate!

Leanne - How did the acupuncture session go?  Hope you're feeling better.  

Sue - It's so good of you to give us all advice & reassurance. I really appreciate your words of wisdom.  

Nicky - Great to have you back.  How are you? We've really missed you!! 

Fran - We went up by the roundabout this afternoon, along the top by the mast & back down to Deeside by the shops.  We got 'attacked' by a friendly Irish Wolfhound who heard me rattling Oscar's biscuits & wanted some! Last week, Richard Mudie mentioned that he can help out with morning sickness. Have you been to see him lately?  I've got another appointment next Wednesday evening. 

Oscar hasn't returned to us yet but we're really trying to stay positive. We haven't walked so far in ages!

Our appointment is next Tuesday. What with Oscar disappearing over the weekend, I haven't really given it a great deal of thought. Do we have to take anything with us, ie pen/pad to take notes?

Speak soon

Ronnie


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## FEW (Apr 7, 2005)

hi all

Ronnie just been for a walk saw 2 ginger cats one at number200 mackie and looked a bit skittish and one at 248 but don't think this one was your oscar not sure about the one at nos 200 couldn't check as a woman was washing her windows but cat did not seem to be her's.

Nikki glad to see your back we missed you and were worried hope you are feeling better

hi to every one else

Fran


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

Hi Fran

Thanks for looking out for Oscar.  I was out this evening but dh saw your post late in the evening. By the time he checked out the sightings, there were no signs of the cats.  The one at 248 is very similar to Oscar, except their cat doesn't have big white boots like Oscar! Did you see the skittish cat inside 200 or was it in the garden? We live over the road from 248!!!

By the way, dh mentioned that he only saw a couple of people walking up the road tonight (how nosey must he be??) - were you the blonde with a dog?

Ron


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Morning all

Just checking in that you are all ok.

Ronnie, your post made me laugh "words of wisdom", makes me feel superior, old like.  DH said I'll be after an honorary degree in IF next.  Come down off that pedestal !.  I'm just only too glad to share my time, advice etc.  Because if I can stop any of you going through my experience, then that is great.

Sorry there's still no news on Oscar, do you think anything different happened on the day he took off.  I know when I brought Buffy home, Billy legged it into the garden - he's not brave to look the other side the fence.  Thinking   at least he's taken your mind off the up and coming, which is a help in someways.  Maybe he heard you talking and he got the idea he would no longer be required as baby - there's a new one coming! 

Your DH is exceptionally nosy, mine wouldn't have spotted them.  Was it something to do with the blonde?

Enjoy the  , us lucky to be in Costa Sussex may have it for longer than most.

Sue


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

Hi Sue

Sharing knowledge & experience is what makes this site so great. 

The only thing I can think of is that it started raining around 3pm, so people who may have been having a BBQ or mowing the lawn may have just chucked everything in their garage/shed where poor Oscar could be sheltering.  I've blamed myself on everything, like going for tx, wanting another cat, not paying him enough attention, paying him too much attention. You name it, I've thought it (I went to a Catholic primary school!!). It's nearly the weekend so hopefully people will be gardening again (if it doesn't rain!)!

Since our car was stolen, dh has to look out of the window every time there's a noise. What with Oscar missing, he's just looking out more often than usual, plus our street is a cul de sac so not many people walk up our way (am I making excuses for him)

Ron


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Hey Ronnie

You shouldn't cut yourself up over Oscar's disappearance, in your saniest moments you would know that you going for tx, not paying much attention or whatever would not really be a justified reason as to why he left.  Cats are independent, even unsociable friends, if they get an idea in their head they go off with it, then the wandering goes on and on, until they are lost.  Maybe the rain did cause him to shelter wherever he was - lets hope so.  Has been "done", could he have got the calling to find a friend?

When I picked Billy & his bro, Ben up from the RSPCA, we had only had them home a couple of hours and we lost Ben, we knew he was in the house but could't him at all.  Even though we knew we hadn't used the microwave and the door was shut, I still insisted on regularly checking inside it.  So I know what you things come into your head.  I also previously rescued a semi feral cat and he walked out the garden (he wouldn't come in the house) one day and I didn't see him for weeks.  Then I got a phone call, somebody had caught him because he had been living in their garden and playing with their cat.  I went to collect him and I couldn't believe the change in him, he was like a domesticated cat lying on the sofa with his new mate.  I just had to leave him.  Whatever, was wrong with me or my house he clearly wasn't happy.

I am sorry to be hard and cruel on you with this - but there has to come a stage when you need to stop worrying about Oscar, to start thinking about yourself because you need stress levels to be low and you fully focused on the start of your tx.

Take care

Sue


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Hello all,

Ronnie - so sorry that oscar is still missing, maybe sue is right and he's found a new friend, but u never know he may wonder back one day.  Hope u r ok and please don't blame yourself, cats are so independent and there was nothing u could do or no way of knowing he would go off.     I went to a catholic school too and the guilt never goes away does it?    

Sue - Thanks for all your wise words, they ring so true and it helps so much to hear, still feeling bit down but better than yesterday.  I had hoped i wouldn't react to the cyclogest but think i am.  And yes probably have been spending too much time with dh - think space is good.  But we had good friends round last night and they cheered us up and a friend has come round and dh will be going out with him in bit, so we are getting some time apart now - definately needed!!!

Leanne - good to know that am not on own with this experience - guess we are having release from all pressures over the past few months and nothing to do now but wait - think that goes for the ment too.  Hope u r having good day with dh though and things gradually get better over next few days - what are these drugs doing to us?!!!  
How was acupuncture and haircut?  That must help to relax and forget about things? I've been stuck in a few good books over the last few weeks and just got another amazon delivery day of 3 more books, so just choosing which one to start on now      

Hello Fran and Nicki - hope ur doing well  

Lots of love,

Heather  xxxx


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## FEW (Apr 7, 2005)

hi Ronnie 

The cat that was at 200 looked like the one in your pic and he was out in the street when we first saw him then he went between 200 and 202 but the lady at 200 was cleaning windows and the cat seemed scared and took off so I could not see where he went. Your DH is nosey!!! but no I am not a blond I am definately a brunette and very short. my Dh is also darked haired and very gorgeous (or at least I think so)
hope he turns up soon we quite often walk up your way and do a loop around the back just trying to keep fit and walk off dinner helps with the wind!!!
take care all
Fran


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## FEW (Apr 7, 2005)

Hi guy's just a quickie to say off on hols for 10 days

we are going camping here's hoping for good weather  

Ronnie really hope Oscar turns up 

to everyone else you all have so much happening and I wish you all tons and tons of luck in the next few weeks

take care all

LOL 
Frances


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Hello everyone,

Hope u r all having good weekends.

Fran - Thanks 4 your message and hope u have a great holiday and weather cheers up a bit  

Sue and Ronnie - How u feeling leading up to appt / info session

Leanne - How u doing? 

Nicky - Hope u r ok too  

I've been ok, still bit tired, just had lovely snooze, think i've got into afternoon sleeps!  Got plans in for keeping busy this week and house is a much calmer one now - we went out for lovely meal and saw War of Worlds, which was really good, so time going a bit quicker now.

Take care and have a good sat night,



Heatherxxxx


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## lc1502 (May 22, 2005)

Hi, 

Ronnie - good luck for starting the journey tomorrow.  

Sue - good luck for Wednesday too, any news on Oscar? 

Fran - probably missed you but have a lovely holiday.  

Heather how are you feeling? Any idea which way it'll go on Thursday?  I really wouldn't like to say, somedays feel really quite positive but others really not so I've no idea - I feel as though the stress is going now though and I'm resigned to whatever will be will be.  

Been quite tired too but I guess thats the whole emotion thing of the last few weeks catching up. Ours too is a much calmer household, DH had Thursday and Friday off work so on Thursday we had a lovely day in Cambridge - went punting and had a nice lunch by the river.  Friday was a bit of a chill-out day seeing as it p*ssed down all day.  This weekend though we went away with 4 very very good friends who do know about the treatment, us girls went off to Champneys on Saturday (no sauna, jacuzzi, steam or pool for me don't worry) whilst the boys did paintballing and such like then we all met up and had a really nice meal and stay in a gorgeous B&B.  They all got totally trolleyed so it was a bit wierd not being able to drink but it was fun and we both got to relax and blow off some steam.  

Oh Heather one word of warning, I told you the other day about a girl from Barts on another board that tested early and got a BFP, since then she's had one other BFP but lots of BFN (becoming a serial tester by the sounds of it).  She did the hospital test on Friday which was her actual test day and got a BFN so she phoned the hospital to tell them she'd been wrong but they said to her they have had a faulty batch of tests so it might not be accurate and she's to test again with a shop one today.  As she was only a few days before us I guess it's possible we could have a dodgy test too so I'm going to buy one if I make it to test day, girls on that board are recommending first response.  I think she's had a hellish week of not knowing what's going on - I guess the moral of the story is not to test early and buy another kit just to be safe.  

Here's hoping that everything goes well for all of us this week!!


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Morning girlys

Hoping you all had good weekends and you saw some sun.  Our friends were so lucky with the weather Fri eve for their BBQ, it was dry.  The only shock was that it was dark by 9.

I made a amazing personal discovery on Sat, decided to be brave and ring my uncle with condolences for the death of nan.  But be was very friendly and chatty, soon came out that none of the family can stand my mother (she's the in law) and they are hoping when the funeral is over the tie will be broken and they will have no more to do with her.  They would all like to have contact with me again as their are no bad feelings towards me or DH and can quite understand the decision I had to make.  We were also talking about my childhood and he said they as a family were not aware of anything that happened in our house.  He wants to get the funeral out of the way and then arrange a meeting.  It seems I have loads to catch up on, one cousin who must be only several years older than me, was a grandad at 32!  Blimey I'm thinking of being a mum at 40.

Well our week is finally here yippeeee!

Ronnie, good luck for tomorrow - did Oscar appear when the sun came out?  I do so hope so, but I'm thinking as you haven't posted a msg, that means he didn't.

Kyla, where are you at?.

Leanne, it certainly sounds as though you had a good weekend, lovely.  With regards to the other girl's BFN & BFP.  It sounds as though she may have tested too early because that final injection you have (the one you have to mix and take at the exact time), well it is the same as the pregnancy hormone ie: you take it to make your body think "of all those follies I released, one of them did fertilise, so I could be pregnant".  So she may have still had this in her system when she tested.

I know this because on one of my cycles I tested BFp on actual test date, but then lost and few days later, and Doc done calculations re: my height, weight etc, and agreed that the hormone could no longer be in my system to have given me a false reading.

My clinic recommended Clear Blue kit, but I think they are much all the same,  Prices do vary though, especially if you go for the digital one.

Heather hope you ok.

Have a good day.  Seems to be drizzling here.
Sue


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Hello everyone,

Sue - that is really good news about your uncle, guess there will be lots of info to share and hope that the journey is a wonderful one for u and ur family, even though it might be painful at times too.  Exciting to discover new family members.  Thanks for guidance about hpt.  

I have been considering testing early as have had some bleeding yesterday and first thing this morning (me and dh had a good cry ), but no bleeding since.  Have bought a clearblue test but not used it (yet..). Have felt really down and thought it was all over, now i'm not so sure.  I had thought if there was implantation bleeding it would have come earlier than today.  Hmm, wot a rollercoaster of emotion, not sure what to do with myself.

Leanne - Sounds like a lovely weekend, must have been great to have some pampering.  So difficult to know isn't it?  Maybe I'll save clearblue for Thurs.  Hope u r feeling ok, sounds like u r doing well.  Thats going to be a bit of a nightmare isn't it if ours is part of a dodgy set - guess we can't think about it too much, but makes it all even more confusing!!

Ronnie and Kyla - Hope u r both doing ok.

Wot a week ahead for us all - here's hoping it turns out good for all of us and thinking of u all    

Heatherxxxxxx


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Heather

So sorry to hear about the bleeding, but it could be good news if you haven't had any since.  When I bled it was a few days before my test date, like you I didn't think it could be implantation bleed after so long, but when I spoke to clinic they did say that it could be implantation bleed.

I am afraid it all depends on what colour it was/is.  All you can do for now is rest as much as poss. legs up.

Try not to resist testing just yet, but if you wait for first thing in the morning, because despite what packet says it does seem to make a difference.

Take care and we are here if you need us.

Thoughts are with both you and Leanne at mo, cos I know what it's like.  So why am I waiting to do it again?

Sue


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Thanks Sue,

WIll hold on until tomorrow morning for hpt and then hopefully i can keep holding on until Thursday but will see how feel in the morning.  Will put legs up, another day doing nothing!!  Really appreciate your support, helps so much through this.  I do think us women are amazing for what we go through - its not easy!   

Heatherxxxx


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## lc1502 (May 22, 2005)

Heather try to keep positive about the bleeding, I had a day last week didn't I when I thought that was the beginning of the end but I've had absolutely nothing since.  All the way along I've had a good feeling about you making it so keep those legs in the air and try not to give up hope yet and try to resist that test if you can. 

I think I've reached that whatever will be will be point and there's absolutely nothing more I can do to help it, it's just down to luck now.  Actually saying that I read on one of the other threads about pineapple juice being good so I'm now sitting here drinking that.  

I think you are right us women are amazing for what we go through, Sue I have so much respect for you having been through it for so long but I just can't imagine giving up and know I'll go through it again and again all the time that I know there's a chance. 

I've started to list all the silver linings that may come out of me getting a BFN to make me feel better if it's not the result we'd like

* Will be able to drink on my birthday Friday when we go out with friends and when DH takes me to the Ritz on Saturday. 
* Will have the longest, hottest, bubbliest bath ever Thursday night
* Will be able to have a few drinks when I go on my holiday at the end of next week (god I'm not really an alcoholic honest!)
* Will join a gym and embark on a 12 week fitness regime for round 2 November/December - already have an appt booked at Holly House for 1st November as both appointments came through together. 
* Will be able to stop lying to my mum and will be able to talk to her about it all. 

However, if it's a BFP - it'll be the best birthday present of my life, I thought getting engaged on my 30th was a good one but this would beat it. 

Keep your chin (and legs) up Heather

xxx


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Heather

no need to thank us for support, it's what we are all here for.  I've had mine in the past and I am sure it will be offered in the near future.

If you do test in the morning, whatever the result you still have to carry on as usual until you get the test result on Thurs.  I would say try not to, because it is just another way to give yourself a high/low.

I've just seen Coleen Nolan on Loose Women, say "I'd rather have IVF than sex".  I am sure she must be joking, she obviously doesn't know anything  

Leanne - I'm on pineapple juice also.  I read on another board that it helped with Endos.  I think, and I am sure you will now agree, if someone said grab a bundle of helium balloons and take off so you are weightless I would do it.

Thanks, for the respect, I'm here as long as needed, but as in the past I have the feeling you will all pass me by.

No, you never give up, not really, maybe just take time out/off, but you still come back to it.

I love your lists - that's positive thoughts whichever way.

It is a easier decision to get on this roller coaster than it is to get off  

Take care

Sue


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Thanks Leanne and Sue,

Good list Leanne, like it!  Yes, am going to try and resist that test, my sister has just said to me to save it for after Thurs as may want to double check result afterwards.  Coleen Nolan - stupid woman!  


Take care and will let u know how next few days go

Ronnie - Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow, look forward to hearing about counsellor!  

Sue - Hope ur ok leading up to Weds, fingers crossed big time that this will be your time   

Hope u all have good evening,

Heatherxxxxx


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

Hi Girls

Leanne & Heather - I've got everything crossed for you both. 

Sue - Brilliant news about your family. At least you now know the truth, I bet that's a great weight off you! Good luck for Wednesday. 

God! I'd forgotten about this mad cousellor person until now!!! 

DH & I were chatting this evening about what's going to happen tomorrow. I told him that we'll be sitting in a room full of people who are going through tx at the same time & the nurses will tell us what to expect & also teach us how to inject ourselves. He went all quiet for a moment & said 'I think I'll take a couple of Kalms tomorrow as I don't want to keel over in front of everybody!' He's hospital/needle phobic - maybe I should give him Valium??!!!!

Speak soon

Ronnie


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## Kyla (Nov 23, 2004)

Ronnie - Tell DH not to worry too much. They only show you how to inject if you arent using the sniffing down-reg. If you are sniffing you will get a quick injection class when you do your baseline. No worries though - its the same as the IUI one Jo gives 

Leanne & Heather - Oh girls, I know exactly how you both feel. Rollercoaster is the right word for it. Dont give up (although I know I cant talk - I spotted on and off. I got a BFN before I was meant to test and in some ways it was better - I could move on faster - it was then more of a shock when I got a BFP and AF at the same time - the joys of a chem PG). In all honesty there is no way of knowing and the killer is you just have to wait. Love the list ideas though!

Sue - I feel like that too sometimes. I've posted on various boards throughout the years and have always ended up the last one... still childless. 
OMG a grandad at 32? Wow - that is scary young. Good news on your family side of things though - how nice it would be to stay in touch.

Frances - Hope you are off having a nice holiday.

Nicky - How you doing honey?


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

BTW What is this bubble thing which has suddenly appeared on our profile??


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

I found this in the tech section - it seems it's just a game.

On the left hand side of your screen where your profile is - you have a bubble counter - everyone has them - under the bubble counter is a blow  - burst BUT you can't see it on your own profile - that's so you don't go giving yourself aload of bubbles! - if someone wants to send you a bubble they just go to your blow & click that section & your bubble counter should go up.

If you want to be really evil then you click the burst bubble.

Sue


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## Specky77 (Aug 5, 2004)

Hi ladies,

Hope you don't mind me gatecrashing, but notice you're all at Barts so thought you might be able to answer a few questions for me.

I have had 3 failed attempts at ICSI at the Essex Nuffield and now our NHS go has come up at Barts. I'm due to start treatment next month, well on day 21 of my next cycle which will probably be around October time.  I was wondering how things work at Barts.  i.e. at my last hospital the day of ec I had to be there really really early, is this the norm for most hospitals, also do they only have certain times to do scans etc, its just I work in London so am hoping I can nip out for scans during my lunch breaks as work doesn't know my situation.  I am under a Dr Zosmer, how have other people found him to be?

I'm getting pretty nervous about this next go as the Nuffield told me I should use donor eggs as my egg quality was poor but Barts don't think I should give up on my own eggs just yet as I'm still fairly young.  DH has a blockage so has to have PESA although we've just transfered all we had in storage from the Nuffield to Barts.

Sorry if i've rambled on, hope you can help.

Paula
xxx


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Hi Paula

Welcome to the group.  Sorry I can't help you with your Barts questions, I have my 1st appt with them tomorrow.  Ronnie is there today.  So she may be able to chip in later.  Leanne & Heather are on 2 ww & Kyla has been before so they should have plenty of comments.

I have previously been at Nuffield Tun Wells, so it is a bit scary to be going to the BIG Hosp next time.  Also at the Nuffield sometimes it was so quiet I was the only patient and they worked 24/7.  If my AF started Sat morn I was baselined scanned no problem Sun.  Even EC & ET happened at w/e, so I am thinking I am going to be in for a huge shock.

I don't think you should resort to donor eggs yet, because it may be worth another go with different/stronger drugs and even different Docs.  When I had my 1st go my egg count wasn't great, so each time I cycled the dosage was increased to improve quality and number and it seems to have worked.

Don't worry about ramble - you will see we all do it.

 Hi to everyone else.

Sue


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Just did a post and lost it - so annoying when that happens!!  But here goes again...

Morning everyone - at least it is a lovely sunny day today  , makes all the difference.

Kyla - Thanks for message, have managed to resist testing and will wait til Thurs, but am certain I'm not pregnant as af is in full flow now.  At least it gives us time to get used to the idea before Thurs and before telling most other people.  We will have a few months to get a bit of life back before trying again and hopefully we can give it another go in Nov/Dec time.  

Paula - Hello and welcome to Board and the Barts gang.  Scans happen all during the day i think in London, as i went to Norwich for scans, they only did them in the morning, but there is a bigger team in London, so think there are more options.  They also do ecs and ets all during day - I was in early for ec (8am) as was the 1st appointment of day but it could be anytime.  I haven't heard of Dr Zosmer, as we saw Mr Al-Shawaf on our first consultation and then nurses after that. Not sure of the names of the Drs that did the ec and et - but the whole team have been very friendly and warm. If Bart want to re-visit the PESA, the urologist is Mr Badenoch, he is really lovely and did a great job for us.  Sounds good that they want to give your eggs another go - it seems that some clinics have tight boundaries about what they will and won't do (i.e not treating you if you have FSH over 10) but Barts have been great for me and not added to the stress of treatment by putting such restrictions on us.  However, they have been very upfront about potential things that might go wrong or not work, so they have always painted a realistic picture and this honesty has really helped me through it.  The only thing is its a nightmare to get through on the phone.  Good luck for your tx - sounds like u might already have had a first consultation i've just realised?  

Ronnie - Hope your info session went well today - how was your dh?!!  

Sue - Fingers crossed for your appointment tomorrow, hope it goes well.

Leanne - How r u doing?  Hope you're feeling OK today   

Heatherxxxx


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Heather - I am so, so sorry to hear your news.  TMI - I assume the blood flow is your usual sort of colour and consistency for a AF?  I am afraid it certainly does sound like a no-goer.  

The hardest part now is having to continue as usual with pessaries.  The staff will also still want you to test on Thurs (just in case), and you still have to try and stay pos.

I had my hopes set so highly for you 2.  It is too early to decide your next plan at the mo, but some time off to get life back maybe an option.  However, you may feel the need to jump back on asap.  I've done both.

So glad you didn't lift those chairs, you would be tearing yourself apart now.  Otherwise you can take comfort that at least you rested as much as poss.

Take care of yourself and each other - make time to talk, especially DH.

I'm here for you 
Sue


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Thanks Sue,

Yes it is like normal af, bit heavier but will test on Thurs anyway.  Wot do you think has worked best for u, having a break or going straight back into it?  Guess we will have time to consider this though. Yes and really glad that we gave it best chance - dh and i were talking about it last night, can't say that we'd do anything much different next time (though he has said he will let me get on with things way i want next time and not question  ).  

Hope u r ok too,

Heatherxxxx


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Heather

A heavier flow would be normal at this time.  You may shed and see some little white bits (like clots), which I thought were the little ones, but was told they are not because they would still be too small to see.  I can't remember what they said the white stuff was but apparently it is normal, so don't worry about that.

You have to give yourself the next month to get over this one and for your body to return to normal with a nat AF etc, this is partly to ensure all the drugs are out of your system.

My feeling was though to jump straight back on asap whilst I had given my life over to being committed to it and also I didn't want time to pass without doing nothing.  So I wanted to try and play catch up to get back to the 2ww stage asap.

However, after jumping off/on for so long we also did need time out and break from it, to have a "real life again and play at being normal".  The only downside is it is easy for time to pass by and it is surprising how quickly the topic gets put on the back burner, partly because you are enjoying being a normal couple again.

For me I prefer staying with it, and I find it hard when you have to have the month off.

After my 1st one the Doc said that they see the first as trial to see what happens and how you respond etc.  But the frustrating thing is for you at the end of the 2ww there is nothing really for them to learn and to improve on.  It is just whatever caused the failure.

I think at the end of the day it is a personal choice that you and Dh can only make and when you feel ready to.  I am glad DH is talking and being supportive - maybe the rant was worth it  

In a way I am glad to have heard the news today rather than tomorrow.

I'm doing ok, looking forward to tomorrow and interested to hear their opinions, options, and to see if their schedule of treatment fits in with what I am planning - PROB NOT.

Hi to everyone else - are you all ok?

Sue


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## lc1502 (May 22, 2005)

Heather - so, so sorry honey - I do feel for you.  At least like you say you know there is nothing that you did that could've stopped it working, I think we must've had the same conversation last night about have we given it our best shot if it doesn't work and we do feel we have (maybe DH's erratic driving on the day after transfer would change next time though).  It's good that you're looking forward to the future - would you use Barts again? I would, I've been quite happy with them. 

Sue - forgot to say yesterday that's fab news about your family.  Sounds like you'll all have a lot to catch up on & good luck tomorrow. 

Ronnie - did it go OK? DH keel over?

Paula - welcolme.  I've found Barts to be really good but I've nothing to compare against as this is my first go.  All of my appts including e/c & e/t have been at 11am which is ok as I've missed rush hours but a pain for work as by the time I've been getting back (although obviously I didn't rush, but then they do know) I've missed most of the day.  Nurses, consultant, etc have remembered me so I've never felt like a number but the waiting room is always quite busy, however, every appointment has been on time which to be honest I wasn't expecting.  Equipment and hospital wing all look new and very clean.  Only downside as Heather said is the bloody phone - it takes ages to get through in the mornings. 

As for me still hanging on and can honestly say I've no idea which way it'll go.  Feeling more and more tired and boobs are getting sorer but then that is typical pre-af for me anyway.  Having quite a few twinges just in one place and feeling thirsty a lot which is different so I really don't know.  Trying not to think about it too much - yeah right, like that really happens!!    Had a lovely day again today with a friend and got to babysit my 6 month old godson for a couple of hours whilst she had her hair done.  Ready for bed now though.  

x


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## Kyla (Nov 23, 2004)

Heather - So nice to see some sun today, you're right. It's hard to keep taking the prog sups too - for me it was the other way round I wanted to keep going with them just in case. 
I had to take three months off as Barts wont let you jump straight back in but that doesnt seemed to have dragged too much. However, there is no time restriction following a natural FET so if this doesnt work I will probably go into a fresh NHS IVF (now we finally have one) after only one cycle - depending on when they can fit me in.

Paula - Hi! I see we are the same age  It seems from your signature that each go you had at IVF/ICSI got better results (although not the + you wanted) - maybe it's worth having one last go using your own eggs? Im sure the Dr will talk through your options fully - Ive found them to be very thorough in their dealings with me so far. I think Dr Zosmer is the head of department - so far Ive had Dr Shasia and Dr Akeem - both women and really nice.
My scans are ususally in the morning but maybe because they know I have to travel a bit - between 10am and 11.45am so far. My EC was 12 midday and ET was about 1pm I think...

Leanne - I think I must be quite lucky as I usually get through on the phone within a couple of go's. We knew our NHS go (if we got it) would be with Barts which is partly why we used them privately too - this way we dont have to go through all the tests again and they will know our case inside out.
I dont hold out much hope for the FET cycle but at least it's a cheaper go than IVF and we can go right into the NHS fresh go if it fails.

Sue - Hope it goes as you want it to tomorrow and they can be flexible with your plans.
I like to jump back in too and have done back to back IUI cycles before. This time I had to wait but it wanst too bad and not for too long either.

Ronnie - How did it go today for you?


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Kyla - I am sure that Heather will be interested in the 3 month wait ruling at Barts.  What a difference to me though.  After my failures I wanted to jump back in and my friend was uncomfortable with that because she knew in nat. preg. m/c you were advised to wait 3 month before trying again.

So I asked my private IVF Doc about this and he said in the NHS old school they had this theory, he couldn't be certain on their protocol now but the private theory was that however you conceived your body was at it's most fertile so therefore jump back in while you have that window.  Also, because the body has begun to get used to being preg with hormones etc, why waste that by letting the hormones settle down and then trying.  Can't understand how that quite fits in with the hormone drugs we take though that have to be out of our system for the next nat AF.

Back I guess at the end of the day it just proves that we are all different, for me we were using the time after my last LAP cleaned up my insides etc., and Doc was keen to press on in view of my age.

Leanne, that's really good you are able to spend time with your godson, I daren't go near anyone with little ones.

Thanks for support on family, it is early days and I still feel a bit scared but at least there is hope for the future.

Ronnie - hope today went well and DH didn't keel over.

We apparently have to leave home at 8.00 am, drive to Tun Wells, park and then 9.00 train.

Sue


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Hello everyone,

Sue and Kyla - Thanks for points about starting again - useful to hear when making the decision, though there may be no choice with Barts, but think i won't mind that.  Interesting the difference between private and NHS clinics - wonder what that's about?

Thinking of u today Sue and hope the journeys and appointment have gone well. 

Kyla - sounds like u have it clear in your mind how to approach this, and tho you're feeling realistic about the FET, really hope that it goes well for u and u get on well at Barts.

Leanne -  Hope u r having a good day - yes, those signs you're getting could be anything, but really hoping for u - my boobs haven't been sore now for about 4 days, so hope your sore boobs are a good sign!    Yes, I will use Barts again, partly we don't have a choice as its NHS funded and they are who our Trust has a contract with.  Originally I wanted to go to Bourn Hall, as it is handy for my work and they've got a good rep with men with spinal injury, but now that's no longer an issue and barts have been great, I wouldn't want to change.  Not sure if they will want me to carry on going to Norwich or go into London next time though.  I hope it's Norwich, as I've got used to the set up and know the nurses there now.    

Ronnie - Hope yesterday went well


Paula - How r u doing?

Hope everyone else is well,

Heatherxxxx


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## lc1502 (May 22, 2005)

Hi,  just been to meet a friend for lunch, thought I'd go mad today with no company.  On way back just bought the clearblue digital tests as don't want to risk any possible dodgy batch - felt really wierd to be buying tests, felt like I was a teenager and being really naughty   .  I am absolutely dreading the test tomorrow feel more nervous then anything I've ever done before.  My boobs are getting sorer and last couple of nights I could quite easily have gone to bed at 9pm but I do get like that with af so trying not to get any hopes up as still have no feeling for one way or the other.  I so hope so though and if it's not I hope I don't feel too down as DH has gone to so much effort for my birthday - I must keep refering to my silver lining list - oh I have another one to add - get rid of these bloody pessaries!

Have good afternoons!


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## Specky77 (Aug 5, 2004)

Hiya,

Thanks for all your help yesterday, I'm hoping that it won't interfere too much with work this time round and as I only work about 3 stops away on the tube hopefully I'll be able to get away with having the scans in my lunch hours, I'm assuming they scan every other day like my last hospital?

I will try and join in with the daily chats but can't guarantee I'll get on here lots as I'm a bit weary using the work internet as they don't know about my situation.  For my last couple of goes I had the whole time off from work but this time I'm gonna have to use holiday and so I'm hoping to have a week off from ec and then a week off when it comes to test day as I know that I will not be up to facing work if its another BFN, can you tell me how much rest you had during the 2ww, did any of you's go back to work, if so how soon after et?  Sorry for keeping asking questions, you'd expect me to know everything by now but I still tend to ask advice on everything, even now.

Anyways speak soon.

Paula
xxx


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Morning everyone,

Hope ur all well today.  Well I got a bfn today, but it was as expected, so am going to get on with my wish list for the next few months today (some pampering in order) and talk to the hosp about the next treatment.  Thanks for all your support through this time, this site has been brilliant.  And will keep posting, and waiting to hear how u all progress in your tx.  

Leanne - Thinking of u lots and big fingers crossed

Paula - Don't worry about asking questions, its good to feel i might be able to help in some way. I had 3 scans leading up to ec, but it was meant to be 2 (starting a week after starting stimms), I had the 3rd because i needed to pick up drugs, so they scanned while i was there.  And was off work throughout stimms and 2ww, as wasn't well enough (or concentrated enough!) to work.  But not sure what i will do next time yet.

Sue, Ronnie and Kyla - Hope u OK and well

Heatherxxxxx


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## lc1502 (May 22, 2005)

Girls.... 

OMG I got a BFP  - In total shock and will do another test tomorrow as it's not sinking in at all yet.  We both woke up at 5.30 and couldn't get back to sleep so I did it around 6am, did a Clearblue digital and it came up positive before I'd had time to even put the cap back on.  Obviously very very early days and I want to do more tests yet but I've never had this before.  Keep your fingers crossed for me that it's right and sticks, I'm going to try not to get excited until I've got to a scan stage and seen everything is ok as I'm high risk ectopic due to tubal damage.

...and as Heather said you've all been brilliant and I would never have got through the last two weeks regardless of the outcome without any of you - it was especially nice to have you, Heather going through it all at the same time so we could compare DH's moods!!  Sorry about your BFN, hope you're not too upset - I guess it's a bit easier having had the last couple of days to get your head used to the idea so it's not such a shock but still not nice for you.  Let us know your wish list....

Girls, hope you don't mind but I really don't want to go anywhere just yet so can I stay.....


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Morning all

Heather, so sorry that the news was as expected, funny but it is reassuring to still do the test just to know.  

Leanne, congrats that is very good news, so enjoy the moments and yes keep doing those tests. I done about 6 and had the feeling I had to do them everyday to check it was the same and little ones still there.  I did wonder last night when I read your mail about sore boobys and tiredness.  Definitely, keep taking lots of rest and make sure DH pampers you lots.  Of course, you can stick around.  

My day at Barts mmmmmmmmmh! Certainly is different from the private experience, they even do the scan differently.  Laying over the edge with legs on a chair, also I note for ET bladder has to be full, now I understand about stopping mid-pee.

Anyway, arrived reception asked for my forms, she said "where's this form?", I said I didn't recognise it, hadn't received it.  "never mind will sort it later".

After lunch went over to outpatients saw consultant (Perks) he said "have you seen nurse for your medical history", No, "Never mind I'll do it now".   So we went through everything, asked me for blood test results.  I haven't go any, "We sent you a letter asking you to get Day 2 down with GP?", I don't think so, he checks file, "No letter was sent nor did you receive IVF book".

So, before I start have to have GP do Day 2 bloods, fortunately that should be coming soon, I suspect B/h Mon  .  When I get results then I can phone to arrange info session and starting.  A bit annoyed because I have been sitting for months waiting do nothing.  Well at least Day 2 is soon rather than just passed by.

I am also going to be a beginner because I am doing long protocol with sniffing etc from day 21.  Not done that before.  The difference between long and short is that long they can arrange your cycle around them whereas short it is more nat and you start whenever you are ready.

Am going to have to think of a better travel plan though, yesterday was a long tiring day for me especially with AF pains only just slightly starting.

Take all, have a good day.

Sue


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## lc1502 (May 22, 2005)

Thanks Sue, 

Sounds like yesterday was a mixed bag for you.  I too had to have my day 2 done after my consultation (they did send me a letter but I messed it up), they said to me though to go back to Barts to have them done as there's no risk of them going missing at my local hospital or by my GP as they dont have the same priority.  It was a pain in the bum going all that way but seeing as there's a two hour wait at my local hospital for blood tests anyway I figured I'd be more confident that I could start right away and it probably wouldn't be much different in time (never any wait at Barts for blood tests).  I don't remember seeing a nurse at all first, the history is what the consultant part was for I thought.  I did the scan, DH did his bit then it was lunch followed by consultant.  At least you're on the road now - will it be mid/end September for you to start then?


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Hello,

Congratulations Leanne, that's brilliant    - know it's early days but that's a great start - look forward to hearing updates.

Sue - That's disappointing, I found them bad with paperwork at beginning, but great once started. I had tests done at local hospital but picked results up from gp and handed them directly to Barts, and that worked ok.

Have started on 1st part of list - find an acupuncturist - think i'm going to contact Daniel Elliot and a couple of others to see which might be best for me.

Heatherxxxxx


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Hi Leanne

He did say I could go back to Barts to do them, but as travel costs were £50 and view the length of time it took us to get there, he said it would be more convenient to go to GP, but request results be sent direct to me.  My GP can do that.

It looks like it will be mid/end Sept before I start.  Hopefully, you will be on your way then.

Heather well done for putting on a brave face with Leanne, I am sure Leanne must feel awkward.

Daniel Elliott - in London? I have heard of other girls on the msg boards going to him, it seems he can be difficult to get into but is great.  Not sure what his results are though, but he talks as if he knows what he is doing re: IF.

I told the consultant I was considering taking extra drugs for NK cells as I tested pos.  He said the findings are controversial and his personal opinion is he is not sure because there are no trials.  He also said he is not on the IVF team, so he will have to let them know of my decision.

Personally he quite understood my reasons, excepted my honesty, and said they have to respect my wishes.  They are only treating me for IVF and if I want another treatment on the side that is my choice.

The main concern will be the drugs are powerful and what effect will they have on the embryos.

We pointed out that 30 yrs ago women were being given allsorts of drugs trialling IVF and they didn't know what sort of effect they would have on the embryos.  So is this much difference.

He said if I was told to eat half an orange a day because that was the cure would I?


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## lc1502 (May 22, 2005)

Hi yes thanks for nice message Heather, it is awkward but at the same time I knew you'd be pleased for me as I would for you, also that you would've been frantically checking the pc all morning for an update as I would for you too.  I've always found the worse thing throughout this how ttc thing is when people act differently to me when there's anything baby related.  We had one couple of friends who didn't tell us until it was really obvious in case of upsetting us, I think it upset us more that they couldn't tell us and that everybody else knew then it would've done had they said something.  Obviously it's hard when you so desperately want the news yourself but at the same time it's encouraging to hear sometimes too.  Everyone is different though aren't they. 

I just use a local accupuncturist in Chelmsford - not sure how far that is from you? He's not a fertility specialist so I've been having more general health type thing but I think the whole chinese medicine ethos is that its your whole being not just one aspect.  I would say it's more important to be comfortable and relaxed with someone then travel quite a way to get to each appt adding stress to it.  Saying that Daniel does have a very good reputation so I hear.  I only started it about 4 weeks before the treatment started, I've been having reflexology since December too although I stopped that at e/c.  I found the reflexology made a big difference to my cycles, got me to a dead on 28 day and it was a kind of therapy too as I always sat and poured out my troubles to her so came away very relaxed.  If you want details of my accupuncturist let me know. 

Sue - of course you'd eat half an orange a day if that would be a cure - doesn't the man understand we'd do anything we could to help!!


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## hevvy (May 15, 2005)

Hello Sue and Leanne,

Thanks, yes am really pleased for u Leanne, as it does give hope for next time.  Worse thing is telling our friends as don't really want symathy, just want to get on with things. And yes, could you give details of acupuncturist please?  Am going to check out a few before deciding on who to go to and how to get there - Chelmsford would be excellent , I live near Braintree so not far.  

And yes, agree re: orange, feel i would try anything now to get a bfp!!  U should do wot u feel is necessary. 

Have good day,

Heatherxxxx


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

Good morning Girls, just a quickie as I'm at work (please don't tell me off Sue!!!)

Heather - I'm really sorry to hear about your news.  Sending you loads of hugs!!

Leanne - Wow!!!! Congratulations! I'm soooooooooo pleased for you. I guess it'll be a while before it sinks in.

Sue - Poor you. I bet you couldn't believe it. What a parlava!

Got my 2nd session at the acupuncturist after work. Will write tonight about my experience at the info session - unfortunately it'll take more than a couple of minutes' typing!!! 

Speak soon

Ronnie


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## Happygirlie (Feb 1, 2005)

Ronnie - didn't mean to tell you off for chatting to us while working, just wanted to warn you that it might not be safe re: Big brother watching.  Sorry  

Yes, my day was interesting I had read all your mail saying you would go back and never be anywhere else, so I was thinking I won't notice the difference.  Yet we did seem to have a long tiring day sitting around, and not achieving much.  I wasn't keen on the scan lady, when she called me she said I need to empty my bladder for the scan, I said I was alright didn't need to.  So followed her in, she said you haven't been to the loo, I said I don't need to go, when did you last go, about half hour ago, that's not good enough go again.  So I went (felt like a naughty girl walking through the sitting area), sat on the loo couldn't go, so went back.

I tried to help her out by telling her that this ovary is hard too find, she said it's alright my job to find them I know what I am looking for.  When she was poking around in places it hurt (that's normal for me and they usually apols), she said it's bound to hurt when your being poked.

So I shut up.

Oh and I wasn't able to look at scan either, in the past it's been pointed out to me, so I could chart the differences over the month.

Another bit of fun, was after scan, reception told me to have lunch and then go to outpatients for 2.  We go there apparently everyone had been told to get there for 2, but appts varied from 2.30 to 4.  Fortunately mine was early on.

Hope your acu goes well tonight.  I have another in 2 wks, he's on hols.

Your info session sounds like it will be an interesting read.....

Sue


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## rontuck (Jan 6, 2005)

Hi Sue

I know you weren't telling me off for not working but about BB..I was only teasing you!!!! 

Yes, I remember now about the scan lady.  She was very tight-lipped & I tried making conversation with her but wasn't getting anywhere so gave up! I wanted to see my bits on the monitor too but wasn't allowed either - maybe she didn't go to charm school

We were told to go to the outpatients (miles away) after lunch at 2pm for our scan, but when we got there, we were told it was actually in the same block as where we spent the morning. We ended up having to run all the way back there!!!

Info session - interesting experience - I will try to say it as diplomatically as I can later!!!!


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

New Home, this way

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=35629.0

pam xx


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