# Feeling a bit proud of myself...



## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Hi ladies

Just wanted to share now I have a few minutes to write this that I am feeling quite proud of myself for the way I handled a situation that cropped up at work today.

For those of you who don't know I have had major surgery on my knee and after being off work for many months I returned this week. I have been moved to a different department where I know most of the other people from a distance, but don't have any close working relationships with them as of yet if you know what I mean.

Well all week I have been having the usual questions about am I married, how long for etc and knew it was only a matter of time until someone asked me if I had kids, which they did a couple of days ago. Today I was asked didn't I want children? In a very gentle way I may add - to which I replied 'It never worked out for me - I can't have children'

The office was full of people at the time, both men and women so everyone heard me - its only a small place. Instead of tearing up or being upset I actually for the first time ever I think, felt empowered by simply 'saying it like it is' for me and holding my head up high.

In the past I have often felt ashamed of not being able to have kids, as stupid as this sounds because its not about that is it? But to me it seemed in the past that it was some kind of a failing on my part as a woman, wife, loving partner etc because lets face it, we are all surrounded by families whether we are a part of them or on the sidelines (looking in like a kid staring in the sweet shop window) and its deemed to be 'unusual' if we don't have any offspring.

I don't know what gave me that quantum leap in my head/heart today ladies. But I do know this much - I doubt if I would have got to that place without the love, friendship and support I have had from you here.

As I was leaving my new manager gave me a massive hug and said he hoped me and my husband would have a lovely christmas which was really sweet of him. Perhaps I touched a few chords with them all there today, perhaps not, who knows?

I'm really grateful to my FF's and just wanted to share this with you, because I know this is one place where you will all understand, and to thank you all for being there/here. It means so much to be able to come here and I am so blessed to have this place and you folks to chat to.

With much love and hoping that the next few days and weeks are gentle for you all

Emcee x


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## Eilidh M (Feb 20, 2005)

Hi Emcee

Well done....you should feel immensely proud of yourself.  

It's all too easy to gloss over the answer when asked the inevitable question and it takes real courage to tell it like it is.  I normally respond by saying something silly like " Oh my husband is more than enough for me to cope with", but I don't think I'll do that anymore.

What a fabulous reaction to get from your boss too....so genuine and straight from the heart.  

I feel really uplifted by this today and would like to thank you for sharing it with us. 

Lots of love to you all,

Eilidh
XXX


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## Bangle21 (Dec 17, 2004)

Emcee huni,

Waw, what a huge milestone!!! .... and so bravely done as well.  Not easy.

I am so glad to hear you have acknowledge that you CAN be proud of yourself and so you should be Mrs!!!  It sounds to me like this whole experience HAS made you stronger and of course, I understand completely, that thinking of all the girls on here can give us such strength ... I know it did for me.

This is a huge step to take and I'm sure, the hardest one.  Now you know you can handle it, hopefully, situations in future will be easier to deal with and become a little easier each and every time.  (Not that I'm saying it's "easy", just maybe, a little "easier")

I can completely understand your previous feelings of failure, and feeling ashamed but listen my girl, you are a beautiful, giving person with so much to offer, you should never be ashamed but stand up there and show them all!!!

I do hope your comments sparked a hug of compassion from your new manager, rather than a "Christmas" hug ......  

Well, well done huni, you should be so proud of yourself and remember, you are a tough cookie ... hard to break.  Isn't it a wonderful feeling to realise we are stronger than we realise at times ....

Hats off to you my darling,
All my love
gill xo


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## flipper (Jul 7, 2004)

I can imagine how liberating that must have felt Emcee and I'm planning to follow your lead in my new job (assuming I get one!).  As you say the questions are inevitable and for once in my life I've decided to be upfront and deal with it at the earliest opportunity and hold my head up high.

I hope your new job is going well in other respects too, it sounds like this bunch are a nicer lot to share the working day with than the last lot.  Long may it continue.

You're an inspiration!

flipper


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## maisiek (Apr 25, 2005)

Hi Emcee,

Just wanted to say thanks for sharing this.  I have tended to keep it very secret, which can be quite tiring - coming up with the usual line of maybe we will try next year etc - only next year never comes!  So well done, i think that took quite a lot of courage!  You should be proud of yourself.  I guess in some ways it must have been a relief to have said it openly!!  It was lovely your boss was so supportive.  

love maisie x


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

Hi Emcee



i would be proud too!

well done you for being so honest and might i add brave 

you are right there are some wonderul people on this site who have faced so much and can still smile

wishing you a good time this Christmas

LB
X


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## Mikeygirl (Feb 28, 2006)

Proud of you too hun   xxxxx


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Dear Emcee
Along with everyone else i can also understand why you feel so proud of yourself. And rightly so, this is a huge milestone that in one sentence has achieved something so huge in your life. Its about approaching different situations when knowing that you are going to be faced with this one question 'Have you got children'. What people do not understand is that one question can have such a huge inpact on us, that it can spiral in to so many emotions. But finding a way to answer their questions in a way that you feel that able to do with confidence is a huge leap forward.   
Emcee its also your input that has also helped us also to look at things differently...you have been so great that we want you to stick around alot longer...infact alot lot longer!!!
Thankyou!!
love astridxx


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## pipkin (Jan 14, 2005)

Emcee

Have just spotted this. Well done you 

I think you were asked in a 'gentle' way about kids and your response of _'It never worked out for me - I can't have children'_ was very 'gentle' but honest too. I am sure you did get people thinking ....

Have a lovely Christmas
Pip xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Oh well done Emcee on your assertive reply!! I am sure it will give the colleagues pause for thought and the opportunity to support you like the boss has already, plus you won't have to deal with any more questions about starting a family from these people again, cos now they know! So good to hear it left you feeling empowered. Brilliant!

Love jq


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## jomac (Oct 27, 2006)

Well done Emcee.
I think it's great that you had the courage to say where it's at for you and also that you got such a fantastic response. Hopefully it will open the way fro others to be honest about their situations - weather that's dealing with IF or whatever.

Lots love Emma/Jo


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Hi emcee,i went offline on 22nd Dec sos didnt see this post til today. Well done you! And i hope some of those people now realise that they dont need to ask these personal questions anyway!! xxx


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## NixNoo (Aug 19, 2005)

Gosh Emcee I am so inspired by your post.  

I think so many of us have wanted to do what you have done, it was soo brave of you.  I've often thought of saying similar but never been sure of how I would cope, how others would react and if I'd ever wished it hadn't been said.  What an amazing lady you are.

I do hope your knee is ok now, remember me and my broken foot in the summer?  Seems ages ago now when I was in plaster, took a while to get back to normal but I had some physio at work and it's alot better.

Thanks for being there everyone, this place is fab  
Nix


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