# Buddies wanted pls! Trying for a sibling (FET) Sept 2011



## Sarah4eva (Nov 14, 2008)

Hiya guys, we are trying for a sibling for DD who is 17 months old. This is my 3rd FET and really hoping it works this time. I am not very optimistic since our frozen embryos are all 6 cells on day 3. Oh well will have to keep   and   for the best. Looking for buddies to cycle with around the same time whether you're having treatment or natural. I wanted to post on this forum because everyone here is trying for a sibling. In other forums I feel bad complaining because some people think we shouldn't complain because we atleast have 1. But infertility never really goes away. People are already asking 'when is the next one coming?' I want my DD to have a sibling so she wont be the only child. I grew up as an only child and hated it as I didn't have a play mate. Also, my cousins would be mean and say things like 'she's my sister', or 'my brother' and I didnt have anyone. 

I have taken provera to give me a bleed so I could start buserelin. Today is day 8 after my last pill and it's starting to show. So excited again but not putting my hopes up. Will be cycling Sept/Oct 2011 any buddies wanna join me?


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## Angel129 (Oct 28, 2005)

Hi Sarah!

I'll be your cycle buddy! I am having my 4th medicated DIUI starting around the 25th of September. I have 2 boys a 14 year old and a 2 year old. We would like to have one more but it doesn't seem to be happening. Our doctor is switching a couple of things up. I won't have to take clomid or estrogen this time just injectible menopur and the progesterone of course. I felt bad posting on the regular cycle buddies thread also b/c we already have children so maybe we can support eachother!

Lots of luck! Look forward to getting to know you 

Angie
xxx


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## Sarah4eva (Nov 14, 2008)

Hi Angie, 
Congrats on your boys. Will be nice to cycle together, hopefully we get our BFP's    It's good that your Dr is trying something different really hope it works. Af has started today so i'll be starting my buserelin injections tomorrow for hopefully 2 weeks then start progesterone for about 10 days. It's all so exciting and scary so it's nice to have someone who understands how I feel. Only those with fertility issues can really understand. I find talking to some friends useless too lol, my friends are older and unmarried so they are thinking atleast you're married and with a kid. Talking to them makes me sound selfish. Looking forward to getting to know you 

Sarah x


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## Angel129 (Oct 28, 2005)

Hi Sarah,

I know what you mean about no one understanding. My own mother doesn't seem to get it most of the time and says things that I know she doesn't mean to be hurtful but she just doesn't know any better. Luckily I have 2 friends that I have known for years before any of us really started having issues that I can talk to but the general population just see me with my 2 boys and think I am being selfish or ungrateful for the 2 I have which could not be farther from the truth. I wish time could just stand still so my 'babies' wouldn't get older or grow up or not need me anymore, but I obviously know that can't happen.

Anyway, good luck with the burselin. I don't think I have been on that one, but the progesterone makes me want to eat like a horse. I don't need any help in that department anyway!

Angie xxx


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## Sarah4eva (Nov 14, 2008)

Hi Angie I know what you mean about people saying hurtful things. My grandma said to me 'by your age I had all my 5 kids' it's funny how people say things without meaning to hurt you yet they know that you have a problem   

I have my baseline scan booked for the 20th Sept   i'm sooo exctited again. I was watching test tube babies on home and health channel yesterday and looking at people's stories. I just love to see happy endings and anxiously wait to see them test. Have you started your treatment yet? and what is the process of iui? 

Sarah x


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## Golden Syrup (Aug 22, 2008)

Hi Sarah,

We're trying for number 3 with our remaining embryo.  I know what you mean about posting on other threads as I always felt bad posting during my last cycle on the FET threads as it is different once you have been successful already and I always remember how I felt when we went through it for the first time.  We are going for the last one because I really want another child as I am an only child and always wanted a big family.  We also don't want the embryo to perish because it is part of us and part of our journey.  I know some people think I'm ungrateful because I already have two and we have so much to be thankful for but I think it is the most complex journey that only people who have had IF problems can ever begin to understand. 

It's funny what people say, sometimes quite innocently.  A few weeks ago a friend of mine was talking about how easily she got pregnant both times and how they didn't have to even think about it and I found myself getting all those uncomfortable feelings back again.  I couldn't believe that I resented her despite the fortunate position I am in but it was totally irrational and it scared me how powerful the feelings were. I wonder whether things might change once we've had this round of treatment or whether this is something I'm going to have to learn to live with and control for the rest of my life.  

Anyway, I started buserelin on 20 Aug and the tablets last Saturday so my scan is booked for the 21st Sep so we will be cycling at the same time.  Good luck.  Have you been feeling ok?  I've felt quite bloated which is really annoying because I had to work really hard to lose some weight for this tranfer and now feel super heavy all over again and the other thing that always seems to happen is the roof of my mouth is really really itchy - v weird   

Angie - good luck with your cycle too. Fingers crossed for a little brother or sister for your boys.

Golden x


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## Sarah4eva (Nov 14, 2008)

Hi Golden, congrats on your kids. We are all so fortunate   I don't think the feeling ever goes away even if we have 5 kids but if we hear people talking about how easy it is for them we will remember the pain and the journey we went through.  Also i've been put off posting on other threads as they feel you don't have the right to complain. If you complain you have had a few a few failed fets ppl think atleast you have one. This is my 3rd fet and every negative cycle is still heartbreaking but some people don't understand until they are in the same position as me. I don't talk about DD to other threads but when we talk everytime I complain or feel down over a cycle I don't even get replies   

Thank God for ff though coz I can't talk about this to anyone, as you say no one understands until they've experienced it themselves. My best mate is dying to get married, she's 30 and in her culture they get married young so shes depressed. I mentioned trying ttc number 2 and she just said atleast you have 1 and then she stayed quiet. So now I decided to keep tx to myself no one really understands. Again i'm thinking will it ever happen again, will my DD get a sibling. 

Also, I was raised as only child. I have a half sis but we wasnt raised together and only met her when I was 12 yrs old. We grew up in different countries. I always felt lonely, I didn't get on with my cousins who used to rub it in the fact that they had sisters and brothers and I didnt. I hated playing alone and not being able to say this is my sis/bro so I would hate for my DD to be alone. 

Since starting buserelin I have been feeling so tired, yesterday I didn't have the energy to do anything. Our dates are close together, nice to have a cycle buddy.

Angel- how are you hun?


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## Angel129 (Oct 28, 2005)

Hi Sarah and Golden!   

All of our youngest children are around the same age We started trying for our 3rd when my youngest DS was 7 months old and he's now 2 years 2 months so we've been trying 19 months now. Not going so well so far. We have had 2 failed AIs and 3 failed medicated IUIs so far in our latest journey. It took us 3 1/2 years to get our little DS though and I'm only getting older unfortunately. I feel like my biological clock is ticking faster and faster everyday. We can't really financially afford to keep having treatment, but we don't have the luxury of time so we just keep putting other things off so that we can keep paying out for treatment. Here in the US for the treatment that we are having it costs about $2000 each cycle which is what, about 1500 GBP. It all adds up though. 


I am just waiting for   to show up then at cycle day 3 I will start taking the menopur. At day 13 and 14 I get basted, then the dreaded 2ww.  I should be starting the meds around the 29th of September or so. I hope you both are feeling ok on the burserlin-that is the down-reg drug isn't it? It's been a while since I did ICSI so can't quite remember the names of all the drugs. I remember I felt so tired and irritable. 

My step brother and sister-in-law just had a baby boy yesterday that was born 6 weeks early. He's doing great though and SIL seems to be doing well too. But the sting is always there. I am so genuinely happy for them but just wish it was as easy for us as it has been for them to get pregnant. I think having sex to have a baby is just a myth at this point anyway   I have two beautiful boys and if we are lucky enough to have another baby I wonder if I will feel complete then and won't have this constant longing looking at pregnant bellies or hearing of another pregnancy. Does it ever go away?

Love to you both,

Angiexxx


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## Angel129 (Oct 28, 2005)

Just wanted to check on you both and make sure you are doing ok on the drugs.  Where are you both at in your treatments? Stimming yet?
Hope you are both feeling well, or as well as can be expected! Fingers crossed   

Angiexxx


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## Golden Syrup (Aug 22, 2008)

Hi Angie and Sarah,

I'm ok thanks. Just waiting for scan on Wed. That should tell me whether my lining is thick enough for transfer. If ok the clinic says transfer will be on the Mon, Tue or Wed the following week. If not I'll be scanned the following week and drugs increased. I'm hoping it will be ok this week because last time I had to wait the extra week so this time I've been on the higher dose from the beginning. I don't think the drugs have had any effect other than making me feel bloated and fat but my DH will probably say something else   

How are you feeling?

Golden x


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## Angel129 (Oct 28, 2005)

Oh Golden fingers crossed for Wednesday! Hoping your lining looks great!

How are you doing Sarah?

Just waiting for the witch and then we are on our way too

Angie xxx


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## mooo (Nov 20, 2006)

Hi ladies

Thankfully I've found you!

Just had a BFN , which would have been our 4th child, Sooooooo lucky to have ICSI in 2007 twin DD and then FET DD in 2009. This was our last frostie (only had 2, and DD born 2009 was the other). So thought we were gong to sail through again. Not so.

You're so right that we just feel people being judgemental that we have children so why is it so bad? I too am only child and always wanted 4 children. 
41 now, so time not on our side, and DH has low sperm count / motility so v unlikely for natural and he's not keen on the idea of another cycle as he's convinced I'll just want to keep trying and trying , which I don't think is the case, i just want another fresh cycle attempt .

Past history might play a part, and I wanted you to see that FET after a previous preg is possible, but I'm just having a hefty dose of reality to deal with. 

So unfair that we can;'t choose naturally when the children stop coming - if i'd known DD3 was the last I'd have gradually taken away all the baby things, but as they're all still in the attic and around us (she's nearly2) i can't bear to get rid of them .... not yet. 
So hopefully I might be getting another cycle, but for now, thanks for letting me pop in....

Mooo
x


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## Angel129 (Oct 28, 2005)

Hi mooo! Welcome to the thread! I'm sorry to hear about your negative cycle. It sucks doesn't it! It would be such a luxury to actually get to choose when we have siblings. Wouldn't know what that was like. Maybe you and DH can strike up a deal in terms of doing another fresh cycle? I don't know I fell like DH and I can't set any limits. Whenever we get any kind of money we always say ' oh that will be another treatment cycle then'. We don't even think in terms of what else we could do with the money b/c at the end of the day there is nothing we could do that is better than having another baby. Just so hoping this next cycle is the one for us!   that you DH sees your side and agress to another cycle! Congratulations on your DDs! I would love to have a DD. I have two very DSs which I totally adore, but would love a mother-daughter relationship. 

Golden-How did yesterday's scan go?

Sarah-Are you ok? How is the cycle going?

Angiexxx


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## Sarah4eva (Nov 14, 2008)

Hiya ladies,

Welcome mooo sorry about your bfn. Congrats on you DD's you must be so proud. I am so desperate for a sibling for my DD and just feel that she's lonely. 

Angel- I know what you mean about all the money being for tx. When we first got married we talked about saving for a house etc...but now all the money goes to tq but as you said it's more than anything we could spend our money on. And no I don't think it ever goes away, people's pregnancy news is always a reminder that you can't just have sex and get pregnant. My lil 19 yr old cousin got married in July, she was on her period on her wedding day and she got pregnant straight after. A month after her wedding she found out she's pregnant. Lucky for some huh? When is ur af due? hope it comes soon.

Golden- how was your scan, I hope it went well.

AFM- I had my baseline scan and my womb is nice and thin. At the moment i'm at the thickening stage and have my appointment on Wednesday 28th to see if my lining will be reasy for transfer. I can't believe i'm so close to transfer   

Sarah x


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## Golden Syrup (Aug 22, 2008)

Moo - I'm so sorry to hear about your negative cycle. I'm very scared because like you I have it in my mind that we should be successful because we have been already so I've got a very long way to fall if it doesn't work.

Sarah - good luck for next week.

Hi Angie

I had my scan on Wed. Had to wait 1 and half hours for my appointment so I was not a happy camper but it all went well and ET booked for Tue.

Golden x


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## nat4353 (Nov 20, 2007)

hi all,

im on my 2ww really hoping to get a sibling for my dd who is just over 2 years 8 months we are all so lucky to have children and i will never forget that but the amount of joy I get from her is so great that it must be so hard to accept and not try for more, also my heart bleeds as i want her to have a sibling and not to be on her own.

my otd is i think the 6th oct .......... ive been so busy and stressed and not relaxed much as i promised i would, its just getting so hard we have had 3 fresh and this will be our 3rd FET trying for baby no2 we always get fab embys and top quality ones go back in but not been lucky enough for them to stick

wishing you all lots of luck 

nat xx


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## Angel129 (Oct 28, 2005)

Hi Nat-Welcome to the thread! I know it is so hard and the longing never seems to go away. We too would like a full biological sibling for our little DS but after trying for another 19 months we are getting down. Good luck with this cycle! Hope it's a BFP for you and for all of us!

Golden-Good news about your scan and good luck for Tuesday     

Hi Sarah! Best of luck for Wednesday!

AFM-AF started yesterday so have baseline scan tomorrow and all being well should start stimming tomorrow as well! Fingers crossed everyone


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## Sarah4eva (Nov 14, 2008)

Golden -great news hun, Tuesday's so close   u must be excited....best of luck 

Nat- Hi and welcome. Congrats on your DD and I understand the need for a sibling for our DD. I started trying since DD was 9 months and now shes nearly 18 months and I keep thinking it might take a few years for it to happen and the age difference will keep getting bigger. 

Angel- yaaay for af and good luck for your scan hope it will be nice and thin so you could start the stimms. 

AFM- I have been getting really bad headaches whilst on the stimming pills. All these treatments really take a toll on our bodies as well as our minds its so hard working and I really hope and pray we get the babies we really want. 

I can't imagine how it will fell being pregnant again, the feeling will feel new as we want is as much as we wanted the first one. People say the first pregnacy is special and nerve wrecking but I think for us it will be exactly the same as we have that worry 'what if it ever happens again' so when it does happen it will seem like a miracle and again we're gonna be knicker checking, assessing every twinge, all the worries fears and excitement will be like the first pregnancy. I can't wait to have that big bump and feeling my baby move. Oh God please let it happen for all of us


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## Angel129 (Oct 28, 2005)

Just popping on to say good luck to Golden today!!!


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## Golden Syrup (Aug 22, 2008)

Thanks. Just sat in clinic waiting for ET. V nervous about whether Embie going to be good enough for transfer.

GS x


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## Sarah4eva (Nov 14, 2008)

Hey all, just back from my appointment and my lining is 12.1mm yaaaaay   just gonna wait for phone call today to tell me when is ET.

Golden how was your ET?

How is everyone else doing?

Sarah x


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## Golden Syrup (Aug 22, 2008)

Hi,

Sorry, yesterday was a rollercoaster. As I had feared Embie wasn't great. Only 55% survived the thaw so not good. They even asked whether we still wanted to go ahead as it was boarderline. Doh?! Not sure saying 'oh ok, we'll just go home and forget all about it' was really an option!!!! I suppose they have to ask but really?!! Anyway, they said it isn't likely to work but isn't impossible so I'm not very hopeful. Because it has happened before I think I'm going to have a long way to fall.
I need to start to come to terms with the fact that I'm going to have to deal with my whole IF journey soon as I know I haven't dealt with it yet as I get so emotional about such stupid things and I can see people back off when I get teary over silly things. Anyway, ignore me!

Sarah - fab news yr lining is ready. Good luck for transfer. I hope your headaches have eased off.

GS x


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## mooo (Nov 20, 2006)

Golden, take it easy now - everything is in place and so you just need to relax and let your body take over its plan. Wishing you so much     

Mooo.x


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## Angel129 (Oct 28, 2005)

Hi ladies!

Sarah-When is ET? How are you feeling?

Golden- I'd play those odds in Vegas!  Easier said than done but try and keep a PMA! You're right I can't figure out what the clinic thought you would say in that moment. Of course you want the embie back!! Sometimes I swear I don't think they put themselves in our shoes at all!

nat-How is the 2ww going?     


Hi moo! How are you coping?


AFM-  So EXTREMELY disappointed! Only 1 follicle at 10mm, although I don't think the nurse did a very good job scanning! I am on day 7 of injectable only cycle and she keeps saying it's a 'slow' cycle and there might be more follicles and certainly bigger ones by Monday when she wants us to come in for another scan. I am completely ****** off with this clinic. I am only on 75 menopur. I feel I should be on a higher dose. Also we never see the consultant. Only ever the nurse who does the scans, blood draws, and blood work. Feels like she is running the show but we are paying for a consultant. I also don't understand why I am even taking the injectables if I am only getting 1 follicle. I would make 1 follicle on my own with a natural cycle!!! She is supposed to be calling me with my E2 level to see if my body is reacting to the stimulation and maybe they will increase my dose. Another thing is that my last cycle was only 25 days long, I am on day 7 now which means that I could ovulate on day 9 or 10 if I have a 25 day cycle this month. That would be Sunday or Monday and the nurse decided that they wouldn't test my LH b/c she thinks it will be low based on the size of my follicle. I really could just LOSE IT!!! We are now in about $1600 into this cycle and 1 follicle -REALLY!!! Sorry for the rant!


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## Sarah4eva (Nov 14, 2008)

Hi all ET today (01/10) at 11.40 am...so nervous my belly hurts but also so excited and waiting to hear how my embies are doing. Hopefully good news   . Sorry no personals, it is 4am   will be back later on. 

Sarah x


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## Golden Syrup (Aug 22, 2008)

Sarah,

I hope it all goes well for you today. Thinking of you and sending lots of positive vibes.

GS xx


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## Angel129 (Oct 28, 2005)

sarah-Best of luck for beautiful, strong follicles!  Let us know how it goes!


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## Sarah4eva (Nov 14, 2008)

Thank you ladies. To my surprise my embryos were both 8 cells grade 1   They were meant to be 6 cells but oh well better for me. Transfer went well now in my 2ww. OTD is 15th Oct.

Sarah


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## Golden Syrup (Aug 22, 2008)

Fantastic Sarah. That's brilliant news. Congratulations on being PUPO. Sending lots of   that those embies snuggle in tight. Could be twins with such good ones!

GS x


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## Golden Syrup (Aug 22, 2008)

Hi Ladies,

This 2WW is driving me insane!  DH left for the States today for 11 days :-( so he won't be around when I test.  I had spotting on days 8 and 10 respectively for the last two transfers which is when I reckon I lost the other embryo on each round so I'm pretty convinced that every time I go to the loo from now on I'm going to be disappointed.  Arrggghhh!!!!  

Angie - any progress with your clinic? It must be so frustrating for you. The cost of treatment is just extortionate. There was something in the news a while ago about the unjustified charges of treatment and it makes me mad because for so many people it make treatment impossible or compromises them financially.  How are you feeling?

Sarah - how is your wait going? 

Nat - are you going mad too? Not long now for you...

GS x


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## Angel129 (Oct 28, 2005)

Hi girls! Really tired but wanted to come on and say that I am thinking about all of you and hoping that everything is going well for you all on your 2wws. Unfortunately they have cancelled our cycle and we are just livid. Going to talk to the doctor next Wednesday and really afraid my DH is going to lose it on him. Maybe that needs to be done   .

Angiexxx


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## Sarah4eva (Nov 14, 2008)

Angel - why have they cancelled? that's horrible. I hope you sort it out. Let us know what happens on wednesday.


Golden - my 2ww has been driving me maaaaad. Symptom checking like crazy and the days are just dragging. How is your 2ww going?

Mooo - how you getting on hun?

AFM - I'm still surviving. 2ww is just sooo hard, I just wanna know already. I'm still taking it easy and trying to get past each day.

Sarah x


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## Golden Syrup (Aug 22, 2008)

Hi it's a bfn for me. Sorry I didn't post earlier. I've been sidetracked. My SiL lost her baby in labour last Wed night. She was 41 weeks pregnant, went through 25 hours of labour, had an emerg c-section then lost the baby in the last minute of delivery.  They worked on the baby for 30 mins but the chord had got wrapped round her neck and it became really complicated. It's been absolutely devastating and I can't even begin to put into words the effect it has had on my BiL and SiL. They had their little girl with them for 2 days while SiL was in hospital and said goodbye on Friday night. They then had to face going home on Sat. It's just been heartbreaking. I've hardly thought about our own news and the end of my fertility journey but I expect it will hit me one day. That said I think what has helped me is that DH has said if we have enough money before I'm 40 we'll go for a full cycle again. This has been great because it means we still have the choice. I think what makes me so upset and angry is the not being able to choose to have a baby and I'm sure you'll all understand where I'm coming from.

Anyway, apologies for the me post. Good luck Sarah for your test date. I'm keeping everything crossed for you and will pop back to check up on you! 

GS xx


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## bally78 (Oct 9, 2011)

Hi ladies, joined ff yesterday. I've had several iui, 6 bfn and 1 bfp but ended in mc. Had ivf and it worked resulting in my dd. Got 3 snow babies and planning on having 2 replaced in a natural cycle. Due to use opk on Thursday and wait for my smiley face xx
Anybody starting this cycle would love to exchange info x


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## nat4353 (Nov 20, 2007)

hi girls

now im not sure if ive already posted this with you all dont think i have ............... but at long last we have our much wanted BFP !!!! in shock scared but over the moon  - I tested on a hpt ( very naughty i know ) from 10dpo we got a faint faint + then and everyday they got darker - with all my chemicals the lines were almost gone again by 14dpo but these kept getting darker.

ive had 3 hcg bloods done and all doubled nicely - did have a spotting/ pinkish from day 10-14 my consultant also took my progesterone levels they came back low so he put me on further injections the levels raised straight away and spotting stopped - so not sure if they were linked or not.

we have 1st scan a week ion thurs - just pray it goes well.


bally - hi and welcome hope you are well

golden - oh may goodness how  awful your poor poor relatives my heart goes out to them at such a sad time - really hope you are ok too and make the right decision in the future  with the last fresh cycle ( thats what always kept me going ) but i knew the time was coming that there would be no money left for any more Tx and its just such a helpless feeling xxx 

sarah - not long hang on in there - how u feeling xx

hello to everyone else 

nat xxx


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## mooo (Nov 20, 2006)

Golden
I am without words. Your situation so similar to mine, but now this heartache for your bil and sil. Is your DH back yet - I hope he and you are support for each other. Like you I had 100% success with 2 bfps and now 3dds. I felt we were invincible too. We're going to start on a last fresh cycle too, and that decision has made me feel hopeful again. 
Strength to you.
Mooo
x


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## Golden Syrup (Aug 22, 2008)

Moo - thanks. Yes DH arrived in States Tue pm and was on a flight back late Wed night and arrived Thu am. He just had to get back and support his Mum as they lost their Dad in April this year so it's been a double whammy for DH and his family. He's home now, and brought MiL back with him, and he's being brilliant.
I'm pleased for you that you're going for another cycle. I think it makes such a difference to have that hope.  I'm not sure when we'll go for it again but I'd like to have a break for 12 months and then go for it. In an idea world such a short age gap was fine with 1 and 2 but I think it will be a bit kinder to my body to have a bit of a bigger age gap if we are lucky to have another one. Do you think you'll go for it soon?

GS xx


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## Angel129 (Oct 28, 2005)

Just wanted to come on and say congratulations to Sarah and Nat! You must be over the moon! Well done to both of you!!!


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