# Thought I had got my head round it but I feel sick when I look at the list



## Peaches V (Aug 13, 2008)

I feel awful when I look at these donor lists
Does it get easier?

We have known for ages we might need donor sperm but it seems likely now after disappointing TESE last week, revealing onlx a few poor ones...

Just dont know how to make this decision...  tho think DH basically OK with it now
any good tips appreciated
thanks, P


----------



## pippilongstockings (Dec 8, 2005)

It does get easier  

I remember going to our first donor conception network meeting and depserately wanting to ask if it would ever feel ok and if I would ever not think about it every day.  I'm happy to say that time does make it easier and we really don't think about it every day.  We have a beautiful son conceived using donor sperm and I could never thank the donor enough for the precious gift he has given us.

It's still very early days for you after your disappointing TESE.  Let yourself grieve over this, it is completely natural to feel the way that you do at this time.  

If you would like to PM me, please feel free.  I've been in the position that you are in and have come out the other side and we are a very happy (hopefully expanding  ) family now.

Pippi xxxx


----------



## eli..g (May 9, 2006)

Peaches, I really feel for you right now.  For me that was the hardest part.  I remember those sick feelings.  NOne of those on the list were like my hubby and I still only wanted HIS child.
For me it was harder that for DH, he was always happy whatever the choice.
I had to just put the lists away and not look at them for a good few months.  I knew when the time was riht to look again, i don't know how I knew I just did.
Give yourselves some time to grieve after your TESE, then hopefully you can happily move on knowing you are both ready.   

Yes it doess get easier, but it does take time  xx


----------



## charlie_44 (Jan 9, 2009)

Hi Peaches  

I too felt sick when I thought of having to use a donor - I only wanted my hubby's baby - but in time it does get easier.  We only found out last year so I still have my moments but they are becoming less now.  I guess that it's something that may always be in the back of my mind but you just learn to cope with it.  My hubby got his head round it quicker than me.  The first DIUI was quite emotional but then after it all we could think about was please please let it work.  Unfortunately it didn't but I've just had the second DIUI and it was much easier this time round and I didn't think about the donor as much though I feel very thankful that he has given us this option.  

The donors have to go through a long rigorous process to become a donor so I feel that it's such a lovely thing for them to do - give others the chance to have children.  I find by focusing on this it helps me when I feel negative about the process.  

Best Wishes, Charlie


----------

