# Nightmare week



## brown (Oct 19, 2007)

Hello all

I've had a nightmare week of biting my tongue and not screaming out at people. First one of my bosses is due this week on maternity I feel as if I've known about the pregnancy since conception I was with her when she took the test and don't get me wrong I was so happy for her  but she has been a nightmare the whole time for someone who like me was so desperate to have she has moaned non stop that she can't have a drink which she has still been doin or it has givin her an excuse to do very little at work and she sits at a desk anyway, last week she even made the comment I HOPE ITS ALL WORTH IT... Which i snapped back I'M SURE IT WILL BE. Then later in week we were all having a natter about christmas as you do at this time of year and talking about xmas dinner when one woman said she wouldn't like to spend xmas with just her and hubby cause it would be boring and I joked she had been married to long and she replied that no but as I (me) don't have a family I don't have the same understanding of xmas. I was so shocked I could only reply that I do have family ...Parents Nieces Nephews etc.. But after she left I was so angry. 
Why can't I tell people off for saying stupid things, why do I consider their feelings and not my own It makes me so angry that I can't just say what I feel especially when I get asked ARE YOU NOT WANTING KIDS, DON'T YOU WANT KIDS , WHEN YOU STARTING A FAMILY. I've learnt to answer YES I DO BUT YOU CANT HAVE EVERYTHING YOU WANT.

This is the time of year I hate more and more as I get older it really reminds me of what I don't have, but  I am really happy with hubby , cat and dog it's only certain times I get these thoughts sometimes I even think I wouldn't be able to cope with another person in our lives as we have our routines but I know If a miracle would happen we would manage but that is unlikely as I'm missing the parts that make miracles!!!!  I've lost count at the number of times I have said I MUST OF BEEN REALLY BAD IN AN EARLY LIFE BUT AT LEAST IM LUCKIER THAN SOME IM ONLY MISSING SOME GENES IT COULD OF BEEN WORSE.

So here's to another week of smiling on the outside and keeping my lips buttoned.

Lots of love Suxx


----------



## gbnut (Aug 4, 2006)

Sue     

Sorry it has been a bad week for you.  Some people really are thoughtless.  I think sometimes you need to be frank with them and say what is on your mind if they are upsetting. It might be uncomfortable the first time but they will no not to make such horrid remarks in the future.  People do not undersatnd what we are going through.

Stop putting other people before your self.  You are the most important person.

Hope it is better this week 

Susan x


----------



## Yamoona (Nov 7, 2005)

Example: Today I went to the gym to upgrade my membership, I asked about the family ticket as wondered if it would be cheaper, she seemed confused and said they don't do one, I said you advertise that you do so you must. I was looking for something that my DH and I could get to see if it was cheaper. She then started pointing out children's prices!!! Doh so I said ' you know you don't have to have children to be a family', and reminded her that it was a joint membership I was looking at. Think the whole conversation just went over her head as she was not the brightest button in the box but at least I told her. Classic example of family branding..

xx


----------



## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Hey Su - hows it going?

I know once I was able to let rip and say it like it is for me in the open mouth department I began to feel like I had a bit more 'control' of the situation and also enjoyed the looks of amazement, horror, embarassment on other peoples' chops!

Mind you though, there are always going to be those who never EVER get it - like a lot of my DH's family who insist each time I see them (not very often thankfully, but usually at family parties where I don't appreciate them discussing my lack of offspring) that ectopic pregnancies can be moved into the right place (like any of them have been through an ectopic and they'd know) that so and so was able to get pregnant after years (I have no bleedin pipework so that ain't gonna happen ever) and on and on and on, you get the picture... I have had many an enjoyable moment telling them that my personal circumstances are not open for discussion, or giving them a quick education into ectopic pregnancies etc   makes them wish they had all had a cup of shut the **** up in the first place!

Feel for you Su knowing about this ladies pregnancy from day one - with modern technology etc it means we are all prone to knowing all the nitty gritty from a very early stage with anyone, and whilst we may be happy for them it can still be tough going for us too as it can feel like there is no respite... when I was going through my last IVF I kept getting accosted by a neighbour (who collared me one morning at 7am whilst I was hanging my washing out in the 'privacy' of my own back garden for goodness sake) who insisted on telling me all about her sons new girlfriend having caught pregnant - turns out the poor lasses' period was only just late, she tested and there was my neighbour telling all and sundry - and the poor girl later had a miscarriage, no doubt she would be mortified if she knew the whole street knew all the details bless her. Her son is an ass by the way  

This time of year can be very telling on us all hon. Just wanted you to know we're all here to support each other.

Be gentle with you.
Love
Emcee xxx


----------



## Ermey (Aug 17, 2004)

Su, I hope you are feeling better this week.  

I was sooooo shocked and open-mouthed at that woman's comment about christmas...how rude, unimaginative, selfish, and generally nasty! Well done for replying to her. You are absolutely right, you DO have a family. Its time this society re-evaluated what they think is "family". When we married our DH's, we became a family unit, with or without children. My DH is absolutely my next of kin, my best friend, my partner, husband...he acts both like a big kid, and a parent. He looks to me for love and support, and at the same time he cares unconditionally for me. If thats not family..what is

Family is those who you love and love you back, regardless of age or whether they came out of your body! I have friends who feel like they are family, and are incredibly supportive, and family who I never hear from.

Sorry! Rant over...you tell em girl.   Look after yourself.

xxx

P.S What planet does that woman come from!!!!!?!!!


----------



## brown (Oct 19, 2007)

Hi ladies

Thanks for my replies, this week so far I've not had foot in mouth lol but the week is still young, I'm still angry with that woman though. 
Love to all
Suxx 
P.s  Emcee your a breath of fresh air I love your sense of humour...


----------



## gibson335 (Dec 14, 2005)

Brown...I just had to reply...I thought it was just me that worried about hurting or upsetting other people when they say the most rude, insensitive and downright hurtful things without a thought. 

I am sorry you had a bad week but it was so good for me to hear that we all feel like that at times. I have had people tell me I need to give up my car space, do the Christmas shift at work and the stressful jobs all because I don't have the responsibility of kids to look after. Why should we apologise or be penalised ...have we not been punished enough? I think it is fairly obvious that I love children and don't have any so go figure but still the personal questions keep coming and I keep trying to deflect them nicely when sometimes I wish I could just turn round and tell  them exactly what I think...but I still have to work with them I guess.

Anyway, I just wanted to say THANKS for making me realise I am not alone with this issue.

Gib x


----------



## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Gib honey.... big   and a resounding I know, I know, I know!

Love
Emcee xxx


----------

