# **Considering Egg Share after Losing my Boy at 25+4wks on 13.10.09** Help with??



## EllasMummy (Oct 30, 2009)

So im Emma I'm 25yrs old and im married to my best friend terry who is 23....we have had 8 children already but sadly we have 3 angels...

kate now 9ys born @33wks
jak now 7yrs born at 28wks
kyle now 5 born @27wks
Tj now 4yrs born @ 25+6wks
Lily-Mae now 21months born @ 25+5

Angel....

Harry born sleeping @22wks 2000
Ella-lou Born @ 24+3 in april 2007 died after 5hrs 8minutes...

Our most recent is our beautiful little boy Max he was born on @ 25+4 on 13th oct and sadly fell asleep after just 2hrs 13mins....

IM missing max so much right now its unreal he was just buried last thurs... but the ache for a baby is huge... thier was huge mistakes made in my last pregnancy that right now i dont have the strength to go into... but all i will say is that it was written in my notes at 8wks and 11wks by consutant that i needed weekly cervical scans at review for a stitch at 18wks... i didnt get any of the scans and i made an offical complaint at 18+5wks... they then arranged a scan for 2 days later but my waters broke 30mins before the scan appointment.... nothing could then be done...

I have seeked advice from manchester and they are reviewing me... and are hopeful that with a stitch in my cervix and pessarys i can get to term well 38wks... but sadly i took the decision to have my tubes cut in theata when goign to ahve Max i honestly didnt expect him to die... so now i'm having to go downt he reveresal route or the ivf route not sure which one yet or if i can either but im looking into it all all i have emtpy arms that ache for a baby...

So thats it any adivce greatly appricated ive been in touch with london womans unit about ivf and i would consider egg share since it reduces the cost so much. The reversal i have a consultant who is prepared to see me at a private clinic in manchester spires hospital.. when im ready but it would be 3month before he could do me if i can done.

Im sueing the hosptial thou thats keeping me busy at the moment... grief is a horrible thing but im trying my hardest to get through it, you might all think m insane but pls dont judge me if u havnt walked in my shoes, i love my children very much...for me its more about keeping my options open and seeing if anything can be done bcos theirs a good chance nothing can be done as ive had 7 c-sections and if thats the case then thats fine but then at least i can close the door and move on...

Thanks for listening xxxx

*OK SO NOW FOR MY QUESTIONS RE EGG SHARE....*

1.is thier a maximum BMI...  mine is 32 im 5.4ft and 13s 5lb?

2.can you do egg share if you've had lots of c-sections...? ive had 7 or does it not matter...

3.is thier a maximum amount of times u can egg share?

4. How long does the process take from consultation to all starts to happen?

5. can anyone recommend a clinic in the north west?

6. The price charts confuse me.. do u pay just a **** price... or do u pay other fee's as well ? generaly what is the fee at clinics for egg share??

really looking forward to getting your replys xxx


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## isobel snow drop (Feb 2, 2009)

Sorry I cant help you but just wanted to send you a huge . How you have coped with all your losses I'll never know. 

Your little boy is so beautiful and Im sure he is watching over you. 

I hope you get the answers you need honey

lots of love

Isobel xxxxx


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## swhattie (Feb 9, 2009)

Hi , Firstly, Im so very very sorry for your losses, your photos of your angel baby are beautiful  

We would never judge you on here, we are only here to offer support and advise.

In regards to your questions re egg sharing. I have have egg shared at Care Sheffield twice out of my 3 cycles, but there is a Manchester Care and they also egg share.

The costs involved for me were around £1400 but this included ICSI which is £850 on its own so an egg share cycle would be about £600 including drugs, the HFEA charge at the moment is £104.50 I think off the top of my head and this needs paying on all cycles, there is also a consultatation charge which I think is about £220...... It is still expensive but hell of a lot cheaper thn a full cycle which came to about £4400 on our last cycle so its definatly worthwhile......

With regards to limits on BMI - with care it is 30bmi and in my experience it is the same at all clinics for egg sharing unfortunatly......


For us, the length of time from consulation to actual treatment was 4 months - they do tests such as kareotyping, hiv etc etc and also you must have a counselling session, these are the things which delay the start slightly......

I think there is a limit of helping 10 families be created through egg sharing - whether that means you can only help 10 children be born or 10 couples make their familes (despite the amount of children) actually confuses me, someone else will be able to help you with that!

And last but not least - I am unsure whether yu can egg share after C-sections as i have never had any children but i cant see why this would be a problem as it wouldnt effect your egg production i cant imagine - again Im sure someone will help you shortly.....

I really do not know how you have managed to get through this, i think youn are an inspiration and i truly hope you get your dream.....

The care fertility website is www.carefertility.co.uk

XXXX


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## watn1 (Mar 14, 2008)

Hi Hun,

  I too am very sorry for your loss   & am in utter shock at your hospital   Your pic's are lovely  

I would imagine egg share would still be an option for you. The clinic I was under here in teh midlands the actual cycle & drugs are free for standalone IVF (which is all you would need) You would just pay the **** fee & also a consult fee, ALthough most clinic offer open evenings where you can go and learn about different treatment etc & most will then give you a free consult, Some clinic's also charge for your tests but if your GP is willing then most clinic's will acept their results. 

From start of consult to treatment is approx 3mths (some sooner) However I would guess you will need to wait for your AF's to go back to normal as you will need to have your FSH levels checked which can only be done on Day 3 after the first day of your cycle.

I wish you all the luck with the avenue you choose.xx


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## jarjj (Sep 29, 2007)

Hi,

I am in middle of tx now, am doing egg share.  Went for consultation beggining of July.  E/c would have been 5th Oct but recipient on hol so now planned for w/c 16th Nov.  So from conultation to hopefully knowing if tx's worked 5 months (would have been less)

Our tx is costing bout £1000 'cos we need ICSI if we go to blasts extra £225

Joanne

xx


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## EllasMummy (Oct 30, 2009)

Oh My.... Thiers so much to think about but it has to be done i need no my options so we can discuss adn decide what to do, i have this morning emailed lister and care in manchester... to see what they say with regards to my history ect.. fingers crossed they wont have a problem with it... my BMI is 32 so not massivly over and given that i had a baby less than 3 wks ago my c-section im nmot doing so bad, im already back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and to get to BMI of 30 i only need to lose 12lb's totally doable I'll just reduce my carb intake and live on fish adn chicken for a few weeks...

Will they see u before you hit you BMi if your close to it or do you have to actually be at it... im thinking id like a consultation before christmas and then mayb if they except me to go ahead and join in Jan thats like 9wks away... I genrally go back to normal cycle's very quickly... so i should of had 3 cycles by time mid jan comes...nov,dec and jan's x x x


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## Charlie_girl (Apr 30, 2009)

Hi Ellasmummy,

I'm so very sorry for your loss, I understand how empty you must be feeling, I lost my little boy at 16weeks in August.  

With regards to your BMI... I egg-share at the lister and mine is 31. They will advise you to lose a little before tx but generally are more concerned with your overall health, so providing you are fit and well it isn't a major issue. I think every clinic has their own set of guidelines, for example, LondonBridge is a strict 28 BMI.

When egg-sharing you have two HIV tests, these must be 3 months apart. This is what holds tx up usually. All the other bloods you can get done while you are waiting. 

It cost us £104.50 for **** fee, and £1255 for ICSI. All scans, bloods, treatments and drugs were included as part of the egg-share programme. Embryo freezing / Blast would have also been chargeable.

I believe that you are limited to 3 egg-share attempts at most clinics and the limit is 10 children born as a result of egg donation.

I can't recommend the lister highly enough - they are fantastic. It is a bit of a trek for you from the North West though - I had to attend every 2 days for scans when I had tx. 

I wish you the very best of luck with whatever you decide,

Charlie x


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## EllasMummy (Oct 30, 2009)

HI Charlie thank you so much for your reply you explained that all really well... 

Just quick question about how often you attend... its every other day fo how long...  I think we would just go and stay in hotel for the week on the outskirts of london?? I have no idea how long these things take....

so after bloods adn everything and when ur attending clinic can you give me a break down of what actually happens like day 1 to transfere?? xx


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## Charlie_girl (Apr 30, 2009)

For me it was a scan and bloods every other day while I was down-reg with injections, about 10 days I think. Then final injection with egg collection 36hrs later. Then it depends how the little embies grow, I had 3day transfer but if the clinic want to go to blast, its 5 day. so, all in all from what I remember, when you start down-reg its 12/13 days till EC, or 15/17 days to transfer. 

Having said that, I was monitored every 2 days to avoid over stimulating as I have very mild polycistic ovaries. It may not be that strict for everyone...

The Lister hold open-evenings every few weeks for possible egg-sharers. This may be a good starting point for you. 

Charlie x


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