# Our sw is coming tomorrow



## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

as the title states our sw is coming to see us tomorrow about a possible match, all i know is it's 2 boys but she says there are a few issues and not to get my hopes up and to be honest i don't feel excited at all in fact i feel a little bit dissapointed. i know it's wrong but i am really worried i won't bond with boys i have got my heart set on girls. i just feel like crying, what is wrong with me i have wanted a family for over 7 years and now i feel like this, i always visulised having daughters and i know if ivf had worked i wouldn't have a choice and wouldn't be bothered either but i just feel so scared i can't relate to boys and i'm scared i wont be able to love boys that i haven't given birth to. this must sound so awfull, i feel so gutted and confused. i did tell my sw i would prefer girls and i thought she understood how i feel. also the fact that she is raising issues sets alarm bells off. the whole thing just feels wrong but i guess i'll know more tomorrow evening

sorry for whinging

pam xx


----------



## Jennifer (Jul 22, 2004)

Awwwwwwwwwww Pam

Wait and see what tomorrow brings hun - you might feel differently when you hear all the facts, and if not, then it wasn't meant to be this time.  You don't have to say yes and at least you are at the top of the list now 

Please don't beat yourself up hunny 

Sending you a big 

Lots of Love
Jennifer xx xx


----------



## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

pam  ditto what Jen said 

Who knows what another day will bring hey, You never know how you will feel when you look at their reports 

Nothing wrong with you at all ! Perfectly natural to have all those feelings going on 

lots of  

let us know how you get on

love
suzie xx


----------



## LiziBee (Aug 24, 2004)

Dito again.
Sending hugs 
Lizi.x


----------



## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

Thanks girls, I think the main problem is that for over 7 years i've been building up a fairy tale pic of the perfect family and i just need to get back to reality  plus this whole adoption thingy is sooooo scarey all sorts goes through your mind like, what if the child/children don't like me, what if i don't like them, what if i can't cope, very scarey  i'm trying to calm down and put my feeling in some sort of order 

pam xx


----------



## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

saphy if you are anything like me ( pray for your sake you arent  ) then its all the fear of the the unknown that i find scarey!! 

love
suzie xx


----------



## Mrs Nikki (Nov 13, 2004)

Pam


----------



## Martha Moo (Jan 30, 2004)

hiya pam

wishing u lots of luck for tomorrow

Ditto Jen 

Thinking of u and DH

Love Emilyxx


----------



## Lou W (Nov 1, 2005)

Pam hunnie,

I'm sure all these feelings and worries are so totally normal, don't be down on yourself sweetie. 
I feel the same as you only the other way round, I have always felt I would bond better with boys for some reason. But having my God-daughter around has proved me wrong - I get on with her so well. 
My advice would be take it easy hun, just listen to the SW, you can always say no, and as you talk to her you will know whether it feels right or not. 

Looking forward to hearing how it goes, remember whatever you feel is right for you is also what is right for the children - you're very strong and very right to be able to be honest about how you feel - remember that and be proud.

Love Lou xx


----------



## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

Lou, Thanks hun i feel loads better to know i'm normal  why does having a family have to be so hard for some of us 

pam xx


----------



## Lou W (Nov 1, 2005)

sweetie if i knew the answer to that id stop banging my head against the wall


----------



## LizzyB (Mar 25, 2003)

Pam ~ can't add to what everyone else had said but just want to wish you loads of luck for tomorrow 

Take care hun, Lizzy xxx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

pam

sending you lots of hugs

and wishing you lots of luck-cant wait to hear your news!

you might find the boy thing is just a case of shock as we all plan these things out in our heads!

xx


----------



## Rachel (Mar 10, 2004)

Pam 

Huge huge hugs sweetheart   

Have a good nights sleep and tomorrow won't seem so bad. I do hope eveything goes well for you.

Thinking of you  

All my love, Rachel xxx


----------



## Fidget (Jan 27, 2005)

Pam Sweetie,

Such good news hunni, I am sure it will all be ok   I cant add anything to what everyone else has said but wanted to give you my support 

Love and hugs

Debs
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Debs (Mar 22, 2002)

Hey Pam - I just wanted to wish you luck for today.

Hope it all goes well.

Love

Debs xxx


----------



## **Tashja** (Jan 13, 2005)

Good luck for today Pam

I am sure you will be fine 

T xx


----------



## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

Pam.
Wish I could answer that question for you, it would help our heads out so much wouldn't it  

Good Luck today hun 

I hope the alarm bells that are ringing will be stopped today.

I can't wait to hear what has happened  

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

good luck for today!

thinking of you both

xxxx


----------



## Lou W (Nov 1, 2005)

Good luck for today sweetie, remember just listen and be honest about how you feel
Can't wait to hear how it all goes hun!

Lou xxxx


----------



## Mrs Nikki (Nov 13, 2004)

Good luck sweetie  thinking of you


----------



## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

Thanks for all the good luck messages (i need them) less than 2 hours until sw arrives and i feel sooooo sick 7 & 1/2 years i've been waiting to become a mummy now i'm acting like a big baby  my gut feeling is telling me this wont be the match i'm waiting for, although i know i'm probably in self preservation mode at the moment which doesn't help (i must try thinking the glass is half full instead of half empty)  oh well not long to wait now, in the mean time i'm going to go do some cleaning therapy   i'll post later to let you know how we got on 

pam xx


----------



## Mrs Nikki (Nov 13, 2004)

Love and luck Pam x x x x


----------



## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

I hope today went well, can't wait to hear the news  

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## Pilchardcat (Feb 1, 2003)

Pam..thinking of you and hoping everything is going well 

Amanda xx


----------



## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

Hi, thanks for all your messages the visit has gone ok but still not sure these are the right match for us as the reports on the children were over a year old and the youngest was under 6 months old when it was written so really hard to get a picture of his personality or developemental stage as no info provided plus there seems to be a lot of health issues for both children that need looking into so sw is going to ask the appropiate questions and get back to us. Hopefully we will know more soon

pam xx


----------



## Jennifer (Jul 22, 2004)

Hi Pam

Glad it all went well today   Hope you aren't waiting too long for some answers 

Love 
Jennifer xx


----------



## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

Hi Pam
I hope you get some answers soon, seems silly to have a report that old doesn't it  

Hope you are ok, stay strong hun 

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Pam

Hope you get some answers on the issues and some more information.  If I can help in anyway just PM me.  

Why did your SW not bring the child's SW with them?  Just a thought, as that's what happened with us.

Thinking of you

Karen x


----------



## Martha Moo (Jan 30, 2004)

Pam

Glad today went well
Hope u have answers soon

Love Emilyxx


----------



## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

thanks guys, what would i do without your support  

Karen our sw didn't bring the boys sw because she wanted to know if we were interested in persuing with the boys before she arranged a meeting as i stated there are several issues that need to be clarified which i feel our sw should of sorted out before she came to us. it just seems so silly that the report was so old as a lot happens in a childs first year of life and we haven't got those details so i don't know whether he is walking or talking as he was too young when the assesment was carried out also there may now be some question on one of the boys parentage which could be a potetial problem. oh well time will tell i suppose  

hopefully our sw will get hold of the boys sw today and we will know soon   

pam xx


----------



## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Pam

Can't believe the amount of unknowns the SW came to you with about these boys.  Sometimes you wonder if they really have their best interests at heart.  Your SW must have known that you would ask for this sort of information.  It would have been better for both of you if the information had been gained beforehand as any other prospective adopters would ask the same.

Hope you get some clarification soon so you can make a decision.  Apart from the queries, was there enough info to give you a feel for if it was right?  I will say we did find out more info after the girls had been placed (thankfully nothing that went against our preferences) but it was annoying to think that we had never been given this information and what we would have done of it had been something we couldn't accept.

Good luck.  Remember no one will think any less of you for saying no, follow your heart.

Love
Karen x


----------

