# lonely!



## emma.b (Mar 27, 2006)

Hi everyone!  ;
I'm new to this site. We have been trying to concieve for two years. A year ago we found out that my husband has low sperm count and poor motility. On Tuesday I am going in for lap and dye to check all is ok with me before starting treatment. Not sure whether this will be IVF/IUI/ICSI, information overload at present! We plan to go private as the thought of another two year wait is too much to bare.
I am a health visitor so am around babies and pregnant women five days a week, not only that all my friends seem to be reproducing like rabbits! I am finding it difficult to feel positive at the moment, especially as my husband is in the forces and is not around for support. That's really how I ended up here talking to you guys, it's good to know I'm not alone. I would like to hear from anyone in my situation, either treatment wise, job wise or absent husband wise!
Thanks and good luck to all of you!
emma.b


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## jo &amp; ian (Nov 27, 2005)

just wanted to say hi, get stuck in   hope the tests go well for you, you'll find loads of support on here


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## ♡ C ♡ (Dec 7, 2005)

emma I just want to say Welcome we are all hear if you want to talk to us.  We are all going thru very much the same.  I know how hard work can be when you are around abbies I am a nursery nurse in a baby room and it can be so hard.


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## katielee (Nov 3, 2005)

hi emma and welcome to ff  know what you mean about everybody else being pregnant its really hard all my family and friends have families of their own now im the last and here i am bloody six years later in the same position. Ido hope you find friends and the support you need on here especially with your dh being away my husband will be away for next three days so feel free to talk to me good luck katie


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## britta (Jan 31, 2006)

Hi Emma,  
Just a quickie to say *"Welcome to FF".*
Hope you find all the support you need on this site, I'm sure you will. Good Luck with your Lap on Tuesday and also good luck with the treatment you decide to do.  Keep us updated,
Love Britta xxx


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## zanne.. (Mar 22, 2006)

Hi Emma,

Just wanted to say good luck for tuesday, 

  Zxx


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi emma b and welcome to ff

This is a great site and u will have so much fun on here

Good luck with everything

Kate xx


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Hi emma!

 and welcome to FF *Emma*
I am sure your about to have a great cyber social life while your Dh is away!

 for your Lap and Dye Today,  it gives you some answers

Sending you some      

And hope your soon home and able to post us an update on todays L&D

Take care

~Dizzi~


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## Tcardy (Nov 4, 2005)

Emma

welcome to FF i too am quite new here but the support you get is fantanstic as you will probably find out 

i wish you luck today with your lap & Dye  

let us know how it goes   

sending you   

Tracey


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## lounea (Jun 12, 2005)

Hiya Emma

hope it goes ok for you today! I am in a slightly similar situation to you in that I am desperate to get started and we are looking into egg share at the mo so that we can go private.  I too work around babies and young children all day every day and its hard.  I love working with them but also get very upset at times, especially as the nature of my work is in child protection.  getting support  on here is great as my bloke doesnt find it easy talking about it and is more a practical "we are doing all we can so lets leave it at that " type of guy, and like you, my mates are brilliant but are not in this situation and find it hard to understand how difficult it can be at times.  

sending you lots of    and   

happy chatting xx love lou


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## emma.b (Mar 27, 2006)

Thank you all for your messages, it's good to hear from others going through same thing.  My lap and dye is next tuesday, not today, thanks for the good luck messages though. I will let you all know how I get on next week. 
emma.b


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## steph33 (Mar 11, 2006)

hi emma b
welcome to FF im 
u will get all the support on here i have found it so supportive the girls are gr8 .I am also on the waiting list for dye test but im having a HYCOSY test done 1st and depending wot the find iwheather i will have to have the lap done ive alredy had 3 laps done at the start of investigations ,im on my last 3mths of tamoxifen for ovulation  and if that fails me and DP have said that we will go private and like u im not sure which as i am am overloaded with info aswell 
i only have 1 tube ,waiting test to check for endo and PCOS , so im not sure which will b best for us at the min 
good luck with ur test nxt wk 
steph


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## nikkij (Jan 31, 2006)

H Emma B
Just wanted to say hello and a big welcome. This site is amazing, the girls here are all so lovely 
Like your self my d/p is also in the forces which makes all this FF even more traumatic as  you never know if their going to be at home during the crucial/ important times. 

I hope everything goes well for you on Tuesday and if you ever need to chat just email me.

Take care
Nikki


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## zp (Jan 8, 2006)

Hi Emma

I can relate to your feelings of lonleness - all my friends are reproducing and I find myself avoiding them because its hard to cope with! This makes it even more lonely. BUT this site helps - I now know I'm not alone. 

Me and dh are just starting out on this journey and are awaiting inital investigations - Good luck with the lap

  
Zp


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## Mish3434 (Dec 14, 2004)

Emma,  Just wanted to wish you well with your lap and dye next week and of course for your forthcoming TX.  Totally understand about having an absent hubby even though mine is loitering on the sofa at the moment but no doubt he will be off somewhere soon enough

Love Shelley x


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## maisiek (Apr 25, 2005)

Hi Emma,

Just wanted to say hi.  I also work with pregnant women, babies and children and find it really hard at times.  I seem to find that some days are harder than others.  It really is a double edged feeling: sometimes so painful seeing new born babies or pregnant people - especially if they aren't coping well, but sometimes it feels so lovely if I get to hold a baby for a while- I really value every moment of that cuddle.  Confusing at times, makes work really hard.  Also all my friends have children.  I feel that children and babies are around me everywhere- i don't think it helps at all to work in this area!! sometimes I wonder it I must be mad??  

My husband also has low sperm count, poor motility and also wrong shape (sorry can't remember correct name for it!).  


Good luck with your test.


Love maisie x


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## emma.b (Mar 27, 2006)

Hi Maisie, 
Thanks for your post. Like you I find some days better than others. Most of the time I love my job, especially visitng the new babies. Ante-natal contacts and classes are the worst as the Mums to be are so excited and I feel really jelous and sometimes it is a strain being happy for them when you so desperately want it for yourself.
My husband has morphology problem as well. How is yours coping? Mine doesn't say much, I think he is hurting on the inside but is not ready to let me in just yet! 
How far along the fertility roller coaster are you? 
Good luck for the future and thanks again
emma.b


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## mads (Feb 20, 2006)

Hi emma,

You are not alone hun, we are feel exactly the same as you. I am 29 on 24th April and DH 32 on 31st July so very similar ages to u guys. We have been ttc for approx 17 months. I am currently taking Clomid ( 3rd round, fingers crossed ). DH does have reduced motility and morphology. If Clomid does not work then we may be considered for IUI, if not then IVF i guess. God, never thought it would come to all this. My SIL and bro are about to have their 1st baby - my parents 1st grandchild and believe me it hurts like hell. Fortunately they live away so not like it's in our faces the whole time. Feel really bad cause should be really excited for my parents but just feel annoyed and frustrated that we were trying 6 months before they even decided they were ready to start trying and then 'bang' they conceived on month 1!!!!!! But like my mum says, it will be even more special WHEN it does happen 4 us.

I think you may have had your lap and dye test by now? At least they have put u forward 4 this. I haven't had one yet and feel a bit annoyed cause what's the point of takin Clomid if ultimately 1 or both of my tubes are blocked. Don't know if they decide after takin an initial history whether u need one or not as i have never had any concerns about my periods, always regular etc. Have another appt in a couple of weeks and are gonna ask loads questions this time.

Sorry I've waffled on hun, goodluck and keep in touch on this site,
Love Mads xxx


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## maisiek (Apr 25, 2005)

Hi Emma,

We have tried IUI (before husband's problem really picked up - so they didn't work!!), we are now about to start ivf/icsi and am waiting to D/R mid april.  I have been putting it off for ages as it seems such a huge step, still can't believe its come to this really!  Most of the mum's I work with all seem to conceive so easily & often!!  My DH is finding it very hard, he also doesn't talk about it much but I do know that he feels as if it's his fault.  He is very lucky though as he has a child from a previous relationship so he doesn't feel the same need that I have - but he is prepared to go through all this because he knows how much it means to me.  

Hope your DH can open up and talk to you soon, guess it's harder for men.  Good luck with everything.

Love Maisie


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## sos (Mar 24, 2006)

hi, my husband is working waway this week and i m lonely too! i hap lap and dye nov last year- my tubes are completely blocked, but dh sa all ok. we are hoping to start dr for ivf mon, we r going pvt too as cant bear 2 yr wait.all my friends have either had or having children, my sister is 6/12 pgt caught on first month with no contraception! you are not alone keep in touch big hug, sos x


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## emma.b (Mar 27, 2006)

Thank you all for your replies this web site is a godsend, I feel loads better. You are all 

sos- Thanks for your support. My dh is back next Thurs, then has two wks off, can't wait . We are going to Amsterdam for a few days break . Hope you are not too lonely, try to keep busy and he will be back before u know it!  for Monday.

Maisie- Thanks.  with ICSI/IVF keep me posted.

Mads- Understand how u feel re SIL and bro expecting 1st baby. My best friend has just had her second and she only started trying for the 1st 8 months before us! Don't know how I'd feel if my bro and his dp had a baby, he is younger so always thought we'd be first, think I would feel really annoyed and jelous too! But as your Mum says it will be so precious when you have your baby and worth all the wait and worry. 
I was surprised to be referred for lap and dye as have no problems with af, regular as clock work and blood tests were all ok. I've never been offered Clomid. It's all very confusing . My op is Tues 4th, will keep u posted on how it goes. 
Good luck with your appt, make sure you ask loads amd write questions down if you need to as you soon forget when you are there.
Now I am waffling so thanks again for your post. Lots of luck for the future, let me know how things are going.
emma x


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## Jada&#039;s Mummy (Apr 3, 2006)

Hi Emma.B,

Hope your Lap+Dye went well today, thinking of you.

I have an absent partner, but not usually because of work, I'm a fishing widow! He does sometimes work away, not as much now as he used to but I do hate it when he's not around. Am on day 13 of Buserelin injections of 1st cycle ivf. Both of my tubes are blocked, ttc 3yrs, lost a baby over 4yrs ago. We have been together nearly 6yrs ago. Even he doesn't understand what I'm going through. I thought I was going mad until I found this site yestrdy, I can't stop writing!! 
It's not easy when you're alone, you do start to feel lonely, you just want them to hold you and ease your pain. I can't imagine living like that all the time, you must be such a strong person, it's commendable.

Anytime you get lonely, visit this site, that's what I'm going to do! I've just heard from my DP, he's 160miles away, haven't seen him since Thurs, can't w8 to see him!! He back 2nite as we have scan tomorrow to see if I'm ready to start nxt lot of injections!! Am Q nervous abt that. Everyday just drags, I can't function properly in my job, I'm a hopeless mess at the moment!

Hope these msgs make you feel better, everyone's here for you!!

Sharon-L    xxxxxxxxxx


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## emma.b (Mar 27, 2006)

Hi Sharon-Louise, 
Thank you for your post. Lap and Dye was not as bad as I expected, am a bit sore but no nasty effects from anaesthetic. It was a bit strange going in with my Mum as the other girls having same procedure had their dp's with them. My results were fine which i have mixed feelings about. I'm glad of course that their's no problems other than male factor as hopefully we can be considered for IUI before IVF which is less invasive. I am worried about how dh feels though. He already felt guilty after his sa results and I think he will feel even worse now.
I don't think men are very good at understanding how we feel, but maybe they feel they have to be the strong ones. I'm sure your dp feels the same as you underneath but is too afraid to show it and too manly to talk about things! My DH flys home this afternoon. I can't wait to see him. Your dp must be home now. 
I hope that your scan went well yesterday and that you are able to begin treatment. Please keep me posted with how you get on and log on for a chat anytime.
Good luck
Emma.b x x


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## Jada&#039;s Mummy (Apr 3, 2006)

Hi Emma!!      

Glad your lap&dye went well. I hope you can have IUI too. Do you have a long wait to find out? My DP did come back but he is away again tonight (fishing!). I said last night that I didn't mind him going if he would ring in work for me today as I've had nasty side-effects from my DR drugs! Since Friday I have felt like I have had a migraine. I've started stimming now so if all goes well with that, I will be having EC Easter Monday! (My fingers are crossed) 
Anyway, I bet you won't be reading this msg tonight as your DH flies home - yeah!!! Hope you have a lovely time together, I think one thing is true of couples who spend time apart - absence makes the heart grow fonder. You have more of an appreciation for the time you do get together. 

Keep me posted!!

Love, Sharon-Louise    
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## emma.b (Mar 27, 2006)

Hi Sharon-Louise   

Sorry to hear you have been feeling unwell . I hope all goes well with stimming, I have my fingers crossed for you both.    Let me know how things are going. 
We are seeing the consultant again in six weeks, which is frustrating as I have lots of questions I want answered now. This site has helped though. After our next appt, when we know where we stand, we will go private for treatment.
DH said he is glad all is ok with me but now knows its all to do with him. He has surprised me this morning by asking me questions about where we go from here. As usually he is like this He has got to do another sample  . I have also bought him some 'well man tablets', poor bloke!!

Keep in touch
emma.b


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