# Scared of IVF Procedure



## Angela Mary (Jan 15, 2010)

Hello

I've got my 1st IVF consultation next week and I'm beginning to feel very nervous.

Its really a mixture of hating needles/time off work/pain of EC & ET.

I'm especially worried about the ET at the moment as it seems you are not sedated for the procedure. Is that true and if so, will it hurt?  Is my partner allowed to be present for both EC & ET?

Also, I'm not sure what to do about work, its not strenous however its stressful and my boss is a complete nightmare (I won't be telling them I'm having IVF).  I can get away with some Dr's appts/half days from work etc, but what about time after ET?  Is is worth my while coming back to work if I'm going to be overworked and stress and risk my chance of IVF working? Should I see if my GP will sign me off, or will the clinic sign me off?

So many questions going around in my head, all advice most gratefully received..      

Thanks X


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## Kitten 80 (Feb 20, 2009)

Hi there 

Sweete you have nothing to worry about I am the biggest pansy there is and I injected myself It don't hurt because the needle is so fine that you don't feel it.

EC your so out of it you don't feel a thing DH not aloud in there while the EC is being done but waits in the room next to were you are. 

ET its only like a smear so just uncomfy DH is aloud in the room as you sign a paper to say you agree that your allowing them to put emby back  

As for time of I think its a minimum of 6 trips up there and your boss can get as funny as he like he can't stop you its medicated problem  

Hope I was some help


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## H&amp;P (Feb 19, 2009)

Angela - welcome, it is only natural to feel nervous at this time as you are about to start something that you know vritually nothing about.

I will try to answer some of your questions :-

Please try not to think too far ahead, take each appointment one at a time as there may be more tests that they want to do, or even retest things you have already had done. I have had to learn to be more patient as everything seems to take so long.

The needles are so fine that you will hardly feel a thing, you will be amazed how quickly you get used to doing them, there are various tips for stopping them hurting (warming or cooling the area 1st worked for me)

EC - different clinics use different sedatives for this so I can't really advise, my first I didn't feel a thing, the second I was aware of what was going on and felt something but it wasn't really painful (this can also depend on how many follicles you get)

ET is not painful for most people (I have had 2 and neither were painful) and takes about 10 mins max, the worst bit is having to have a full bladder (and then them sometimes being late so you may be bursting and they then press on your tummy slightly to make sure the embryo is positioned in the correct place), my tip for this is don't drink too much, go for about a pint around an hour before the procedure and your bladder should be plenty full enough.

While you are having your EC your partner will probably be off doing his own donation so he won't be in the room for this but most clinics allow them in for ET (if they & you want them to) .

My job is not strenuous but is also very stressful, I did not take any time off sick (just the odd hour here and there for appointments which your are entitled to, some companies actually have policies that you can have so many days off per year for fertility treatment so worth asking HR)) and I then booked a couple of days holiday around EC, I found it better to be at work during the 2WW (I would have gone insane sat at home all day for 2 weeks looking for symptoms) but everyone is different and it is possible to get signed off sick by your Dr (don't think the clinic will though).

I would post some links to other boards you might want to join but I am sure a moderator will be along to do that shortly. There are boards for all counties in the country so you might be able to find someone local to you who is also going through (or has been through) IVF at the same clinic you will be at.

Hope this helps, sorry it's a bit wordy, think I got carried away.

Good luck with your cycle


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## M2M (Sep 16, 2009)

I know how you feel as I'm having the same worries myself at the moment.  I am such a baby when it comes to anything to do with "down there" - have had some painful smears in the past and am mostly worried about ET as there's no anaesthetic at all. I'll keep an eye on this thread and hope there'll be lots of reassuring stories to put us both at ease. 

I like the advice given above by DRIVER225 to take it one step at a time.  Just focus on the next hurdle and try not to worry ahead - and also focus on what you are doing this for. I find I can work my way through nervous moments by visualisation e.g. seeing a positive pregnancy test, hearing my baby's heartbeat, holding my baby at the end of it, introducing baby to family and friends, etc.

My desire for those experiences is far stronger and greater than my fear of any of the process leading up to it, and that keeps me going.

Hang on in there - one of the things that has helped me most with my fears has been chatting to the other ladies here about it all.  Everyone is so amazingly supportive and lovely!


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## isobel snow drop (Feb 2, 2009)

Please believe me Ive been through this 4 times and will be doing another one soon and you have nothing to fear. 

The injections are nothing, you actually use baby needles  

Egg collection, like people have said each clinic has its own protocol but with ours we are just given something to relax us so we're not asleep and our partners are allowed in with us to hold our hands etc (they do their bit just before we go into theatre
)

Embryo tranfer is very simple and really not as uncomfortable as having a smear for most people. Once you have been through a cycle you'll wonder what you were worried about 

Good luck xxxx


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## Kitten 80 (Feb 20, 2009)

Well I think the thought of child birth is more terrifying then any of it   but yet I still continue to proceed  .

We are all here for you, I took the 2ww off after ET 1 because I was sore to my job can be stressful.

EC I found funny I remember apologising for not trimming my lady garden


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## isobel snow drop (Feb 2, 2009)

the things we ladies have to think about kitten


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## Kitten 80 (Feb 20, 2009)

I just want to get on with it now bored


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## ambergem (Feb 14, 2010)

Hi Angela

Welcome!!

I'm just going to reiterate what all the other lovely ladies have said... I absolutely hate needles and although i should be used to them by now i'm not BUT the girls are right it really doesn't hurt so please try not to worry!! If you really can't face doing the jabs yourself maybe you could get your hubbie to do them? I'm such a wuss i get my mum to do mine!!

I remember being absolutely petrified when i had too many follicles on my 2nd IUI and had to have some aspirated in theatre (similar procedure to EC). I was shaking with fear (told you i'm a wuss) but the sedation they give you is amazing and you dont feel a thing and i couldn't remember anything at all about it! It was the same for my EC last time.

The ET is just uncomfortable- just like a smear as Driver said only worse because you're bursting for the loo!! My best tip would be to just relax as much as u can- easier said than done i know!!

(Kitten- you really made me laugh because i remember worrying about the same thing!!! )

I will be taking a few days off after EC this time because i was a bit sore last time. I think if you have the holiday and can get the time off i would recommend some time after EC and ET just to take it easy for a few days but again i agree with Driver by the 2nd week of the dreaded 2WW you may want to be at work to take your mind off things!!

Hope you're feeling a bit better about it all if you think of any other questions just ask  

Good luck

Lxx


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Hiya Angela Mary










to FF 

The ladies have given you some of their own experiences and some great advice, keep mooching around the boards, you'll get even more support and info 

Here are some links which you should find really useful at the moment&#8230;&#8230;

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Peer Support (for asking fertility and treatment related questions of your fellow FFers) ~ * CLICK HERE

As you are attending the Bridge, I hope i presume right that you are from the London area  Here are the London boards http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=345.0 If you aren't from London, please feel free to whack me by using this smiley --->  

*Complimentary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ *CLICK HERE 
(Relaxation techniques and ideas, along with other interesting topics  )

*Questions for your first cycle consultation ~ (use the ones that apply) *CLICK HERE

*A Rough Guide To IVF ~*   CLICK HERE

*IVF General ~ *CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. You will find a thread, usually with a funny/inspiring name for this year's buddies. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment.

*Cycle buddies ~ *CLICK HERE

*2WW, Ladies in Waiting ~ *CLICK HERE

*Keep a diary of your treatment ~ * 
CLICK HERE

Wishing you lots of luck and babydust 
Please keep in touch and let us know how things progress with your treatment

Take care x

(Ps ... Have pm'd you) ​


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## Aenor (Jan 19, 2009)

Hi Angela, and welcome to FF.
Your anxieties are totally, totally normal, and I'd be surprised if anyone ever said 'Yeah I'm about to have IVF but I'm not at all nervous about it.' You've already done the best possible thing to help yourself through the process, which is to join this site. There is so much good advice on here from people who've been through it all before and who've encountered every possible problem or scenario you could think of. 

My own advice is similar to other people's...
I don't like needles either. At the clinic, they told me to sort of jab the needle in but there's NO WAY I could do that! I ended up pinching a bit of stomach and pushing the needle in slowly. It was FINE (in both senses of the word!) There's a tiny prick as it goes through the skin but then it doesn't hurt any more because it's going into fat and there are no nerve endings. Believe me, if I can do it, anyone can. I felt such a sense of achievement having done it, because I really expected to be The One Who Failed.

EC: I was completely unconscious as a result of the sedation, so it was fine.

ET: I was a bit worried about this because my practise ET hurt, but the real thing hardly hurt at all! I was so excited on the day about having my little embryo put back, and I think this helped. And I warned them beforehand that I'm a bit rubbish at having smear tests etc done so I think they were extra careful.

Balancing treatment with work can be really really difficult. If you need more days off to recover from EC then your GP may be prepared to give you a sick note with a nice vague diagnosis, rather than mentioning IVF. But do be kind to yourself. IVF will affect your moods, your energy levels, your concentration levels. The next few weeks are unlikely to be your most productive time ever at work, but if you can somehow accept that and be kind to yourself (and cope with your nightmare boss), then you'll be OK.

Anyway, you're in very good company here. Everyone will understand your concerns. GOOD LUCK!
Ax


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## Mistletoe (Holly) (Jan 1, 2007)

I was also petrified - but the injections are fine to do yourself and really don't hurt.

The egg collection might be a bit uncomfortable - but you should be sedated. I want a general anaesthetic next time - see if your clinic will offer this if you are scared - it is worth the extra money.

The embryo transfer - I did not feel a thing - other than wanting to pee sooooooo much - you have to have a full bladder for the scan and mine was full to bursting.

It is a bit embarrasing to have your legs in the air - but remember these doctors are consultant gynaecologists and they do this all day every day. 
Anyway it is so exciting, amazing to think you are having a little life put inside you that you don't even worry after about 5 mins.

You will be amazed at how much easier it is than your imagination will have you believe. Nothing is ever as bad as you imagine.

I took a week off work after ec - although one day was working at home.


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## daisy70 (Aug 9, 2009)

Angela, Welcome to the site you will get loads of support and advice on here.  I had my first IVF cycle in Dec/Jan/Feb and found this site a huge help.  When I first started reading the threads it was all gobbledegook to me and everyone else seemed to know all about it and I felt that I didn't know anything and had no idea what to expect so it did make me very nervous.
In the end, as all the other ladies have said, the treatment itself was a doddle.  
Re the time off work I went back to work after ET for the whole 2ww but next time I will definitely have the 2nd week of the 2ww off work (will try to get signed off if possible).  The first week was frustrating just waiting but the second week was torture because I was dreading my period arriving while I was at work and I really did not want to find out the bad news while I was at work, so I spent the entire time in a state of extreme agitation, hardly got any work done and acted like a crazy person (although no-one mentioned it but I'm sure they must have noticed)   
I agree with whoever said that none of the treatment is even as bad as having a smear test.
Good luck with your treatment and I hope it is successful


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## Aenor (Jan 19, 2009)

I forgot to add... you asked whether you should get your GP to sign you off, or whether your clinic will do it. Well I don't know if every clinic is the same, but ours refuse to give sick notes, so GP is the only option. But I've spent enough time hanging around on this site to know that a lot of people's GPs do sign them off without any problem.


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## Angela Mary (Jan 15, 2010)

Thanks SO MUCH to everyone for the great advice, kind words, I feel quite overwhemed by all the replies I got to my posting, its really helped to put my mind at ease.  What a fantastic site this is, worth its weight in gold and I only hope I will be in the same position to offer advice to others once I've experienced the IVF journey... A MILLION THANK YOU'S X


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