# How do SW decide on a match?



## Norma12 (Jan 23, 2012)

This might be a really silly/obvious question........ Apologies

We have a SW visit in Jan re being linked /match to a LO. We've read their CPR & have no concerns. The SW has read our PAR & is keen to meet us. Theyve spoken with our SW too. At the moment we are the first adopters being considered, if they don't think we're a match I think they've got a long list of others interested....

How does the SW decide when they meet us if we are a match? We've got some questions to prepare for & a bit of research to do on a couple of additional needs LO may have so we can demonstrate we can meet those needs. So whilst on paper we may tick most/all boxes, could it be down to our house, the SW vibes/feelings about us when they meet us in person?


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## Cassie78 (May 26, 2013)

I often wonder how they decide. When we were chosen his SW brought a list of the reasons she had pulled out of our PAR such as we had a dog(a staffie ) he wanted to live with an animal.  I did voluntary reading at a school little boy struggled with reading.  He is lively and she thought our area and lifestyle suited him. My job and hours and that she thought we were a lovely couple.  Our SW said they want to make sure the PAR mirrors who you are in person.  I know it's hard but just be yourself that's what they want to see.


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## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

I suppose it's one of those questions that we never quite know the exact answer to?
We bumped in to our little ladies social worker/family finder on Friday night while we were out having some Xmas drinks with friends, she was absolutely steaming drunk and was saying all manner of things to me about how she just knew from the second she set foot in our front door that we were the right ones for her. 

Obviously they will look at any particular needs the child has and how you can meet them, our little lady was quite straight forward, and they told us the night they came to chat to us that they would be progressing with us as the only people being considered as her prospective adopters. 

She was definitely meant to be ours, she is just a mini me 😂

Good luck, enjoy your Christmas and try not to wish it past too quickly X


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## roodedoo (Apr 29, 2015)

As a social worker I can probably answer your question ( or at least try to!) In case its important to hekp you understand the perspective im writing from, I've removed children, done family finding and matching for adoption. 

With each child you are looking to place you will have a list of non negotiables / essentials and some less important things you are looking for. You will also take into account what birth parents / family members have expressed they want for their child.

You have a selection of adopters who are looking for a child and available to adopt. You look at their assessments and their intro books / family books. You then score them against the criteria you have for that child. The aim is that you are being objective in regards to the things that you think matter for that child.  

Once you have your 'top scorers' you will ask their worker to approach them about the child you are working with that you think may be a potential match. If they are receptive to the idea of your child then you book in a visit to see the house and meet them in person. This bit is a bit more 'gut' led. Believe you me you can tell when someone is being fake or giving you answers which they think you want to hear. I'm not here to judge why someone may do this but as the child's social worker you have a lot invested in making the correct match as you know that you are making what should be a permanent decision about their future and you want to get it right. My advice for perspective adopters who are at this stage is be yourself. We want to see the real you and are only looking to see if you can meet the child's needs and be committed to them whatever it takes.  I have worked with children who were placed with 'forever families' only for them to come back into care in years to come and it is absolutely soul destroying as their worker. 

If we think you will be a good match then we will go to adoption panel and ask for the match to be made officially. We will then plan introductions with you and the child. If this goes to plan then there will be a move in date for the child.

I hope that answers the original question!


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## ciacox (May 31, 2013)

Hi Norma

Urg - ages to wait for that meeting. Hope you can distract yourself in the meantime. We've recently been linked after a situation where the family finder and child's SW went out to meet us and another couple. It's a really stressful situation!

If everything else is equal, our SW told us that sometimes it just comes down to things like the kind of house the child's SW has imagined them in (i.e. stuff you really have no control over). We recently had some paperwork back where the SW had filled in a section on why they thought we are the right parents for our LO. A lot of it was down to things we cdn't have changed, like our work etc. She did also say that she felt we had real empathy for our soon-to-be LO's birth parents. That is true and not something we cd have faked. We do feel for them a lot and that may not have been the case for any birth parent. They may well ask you your views on the LOs background and so it might be important to give some consideration to how you answer that. What they'll be aware of is that your attitude now is likely to reflect how you will talk to your son/daughter about their birth parents and what happened.

Also, if you feel there are any bits of magic about your connection to this particular LO then find a way to tell them. There may not be and that's totally fine I think. In our case the day he was born was a very significant day for us and that helped us to feel that it was meant to be. I think it helped that we told them about that.

All in all, though, I think if they are visiting you first and only you you will be fine. Thinking of you!


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## Norma12 (Jan 23, 2012)

Thanks for all the responses, really useful insight. Going to enjoy the next few days of Christmas & start the preparation after. Our sW has given us some questions to prep for aswell.

Have a good christmas everyone xxx


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