# 41 and just had first IVF cycle ~



## alih (Mar 12, 2007)

Hi everyone

Would love to chat to anyone in a similar situation at us.  I am 41 and DH 43.  We have just had our first IVF cycle which unfortunately failed.  Finding it very hard.  Hoping to have another attempt in May.

Love

Ali


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## Debz1965 (Nov 15, 2006)

Hi Ali

Welcome to FF  - sorry to hear that your first IVF attempt was not successful, there are some good threads on here to read and post on, also a chat room, this is certainly the place to vent your anger, frustrations etc...

Nobody will judge you and everyone will be supportive 

I am in a similiar situation as you/ age, but I am in the middle of my IVF treatment and go for my e/c next week.

Good luck for May, fingers crossed for you  

Debs x


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi ali and welcome to the site 

Sorry to hear what you have been through with trying for a baby but you have come to a fantastic site with plenty of advice and support and you have been left some great links to try out.

Good luck with everything

Kate xx​


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

and Welcome to FF Ali
 for your treatment
Cleg has left you some great Links be sure to check them out 
If you need any more help or have a question just yell!

Wishing you Friendship  and lots of    

~Dizzi~


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## alih (Mar 12, 2007)

Hi Dizzi, Cleg, Kate and Debs

Thanks for your replies and best wishes.

Especially to Cleg for the links.  I have had a quick look.  Gives me hope to keep trying.  

Debs - All the very best with your E/C next week.  Fingers crossed that everything goes well.    

Please let me know how you get on.  

Best wishes to you all.

Ali


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## Alley (Aug 13, 2006)

Hi Ali

I think everyone goes into their 1st IVF knowing the chances are about 30% and when it doesn't work feel absolutely devastated. You are not alone honey, we all know how you feel and hope you dont let it get you down too much.

My DH helped me recover from my failures by just showing me the maths.... it helps me to cope.

Good luck with your next cycle

Alley xx


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## alih (Mar 12, 2007)

Hi Alley

Unfortunately,  I had a 10 to 15% chance that it would work because of being over 40.  I did have acupunture though throughout the cycle and at ET and EC.  I really believe that this has helped me enormously.  Although I have had a really terrible couple of days I feel much better in myself now, so hopefully I am over the worst.  Going away for a couple of days to Devon next week so looking forward to that too.  

Are you planning any more cycles?

Ali xx


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## Alley (Aug 13, 2006)

Ali

I hope your break helps you to 'get back on your feet'. It is hard to pick yourself up after the falls, but you learn its the only way.. pick yourself up, dust yourself down and off you go again.

We know what you are going through. 

Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to.

I'm just starting a short protocol with the NHS - I was so so lucky to get a cycle free just a few months before I turn 40.  I was so happy to hear my FSH wa 8.9. I haven't had it measured for a long time, but my worsening response really was stressing me and I wonder if my FSH was up the last couple of times. You'll read a lot of tips on here - I took wheatgrass and agnus castus for help with FSH (and hopefully egg production)... lets see what happens now..

Best wishes

Alley x


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## Debz1965 (Nov 15, 2006)

Hi Alih

Just to keep you updated that I had e/c collection today and they got 4 eggs, so quite pleased with that for an oldie!  

Will find out tomorrow if any have fertilised! *fingers crossed!*

Take care all

Debs xx


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## Debz1965 (Nov 15, 2006)

Yay - 2 have fertilised!!!! - would of been good to have all 4, but 2 is good!

God I hope they divide lovely overnight and they can put them back  in tommorrow!!!

Take care all xxx


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## Alley (Aug 13, 2006)

debz

two is great!!!!!!!!!!! good luck with ET

Alley x


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## Debz1965 (Nov 15, 2006)

Boooooooo only 1 divided into four!   so just 1 got put back today. Still it only takes one eh?

Deb x


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

​
[move type=scroll loop=-1 direction=left step=6 delay=85]
IT ONLY TAKES ONE 
[/move]

           ​


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## alih (Mar 12, 2007)

Hi Deb

Just back from Devon.  

Thinking of you and hoping that everything goes well for the 2ww.  It only takes one!

Best of luck.

Ali
xx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ali,

I hope you managed to enjoy Devon and are feeling a bit better. So sorry your first IVF didn't work out.    

I'm part way through my second attempt so know how devastating a BFN can be. Not sure how I'll cope with another but know I've got to try.

I see you're in Oxfordshire, are you having tx at the JR? We are. Good luck with your tx in May. It'll be here before you know it.

CG xxx


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## alih (Mar 12, 2007)

Hi CG

In answer to your question, yes we are having treatment at the JR level 4.

We have an appointment there soon to discuss everything with them, which hopefully will help to answer some of our questions.

Its hard to imagine that its been a month since our BFN.  I still seem to be suffering the side effects of the drugs and I'm still very up and down.  I think it is hard for people to understand the impact that it has on people if you haven't been through it yourself.

All the very best for this cycle.  When is your EC/ET?

Will be thinking of you.

Ali
xx


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi ali why not come and join us on the Reading/oxford thread?

Kate xx


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## alih (Mar 12, 2007)

Hi kate

Ok will join you on Oxford/Reading thread.

Thanks

Ali


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## alih (Mar 12, 2007)

Hi CG ,Debs and Alley

Just wondering how you were all doing?

Ali 

xx


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## Debz1965 (Nov 15, 2006)

Hi Ali

I am about to start IVF#2 next week...... here we go again.....

How are things with you?

Debs xxx


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## nic68 (Apr 13, 2007)

Hi Ali,
we had our first ivf cycle end march which failed and we were devastated. start next cycle end may and ec/et beginning july. its really hard but its nice to be able to talk to others on this site who are or have gone through the same, at least you feel your not alone.

keep positive fingers crossed for you.

nicola


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## Debz1965 (Nov 15, 2006)

Hi Nic

Really sorry to hear your first one did not work out, crap eh!!!
Fingers crossed for next time for you!

Debs xx


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## alih (Mar 12, 2007)

Hi Nicola and Debs

Really hope that your next cycles work. We have finally seen someone at the JR to discuss the reasons behind why our cycle of IVF did not work.  Although they put back 2 really good embryos, they think that overall there was a very poor fertilisation rate only 40% whereas it should have been about 70%, they put this down to poor egg quality.  An age thing I suppose!  If we were to try again then they would recommend ICSI.  We are undecided as to whether to go ahead for another cycle now, as they give me less than 10%.  Feeling very low about everything.  Its probably for the best if its my head talking, but from a heart one I'm not coping very well.  I am thinking of going back to see the counseller to talk things over with them, see if it will help.  We are going away shortly anyway so hopefully the rest will do us all good.  Just wondered if either of you have been given such a low percentage chance or is it just me?

Take care both lets hope that you have better luck than us.

Ali

xx


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## bib (Apr 17, 2007)

Hi Ali   

Welcome to FF.

I am so sorry to hear about your BFN  .  You must both be devastated.  It is so cruel how this lottery of treatment works for some but not for others.  I just wish there was a magic way of making it all right 
for everyone  .  

I should think that more councilling would be a good thing.  Sometimes, to share how you feel with someone you don't know can be just as helpful as with someone who knows you inside and out.

Keep up with the accupuncture too.  I had this when I was pg and Reiki when we were going through our ICSI treatment.  I am a firm believer in holistic therapy - not because I think they necessarilly change things over night, but just to put yourself in someone elses hands for an hour or so is so good for your soul.  It is a good thing to be looked after by someone else and to have a little of the pressure soothed away from you.

i can only send you lots of love and positive thoughts for your journey.  Keep strong and never give up on your dreams.  Everyone who goes through this process is so strong inside and that is what keeps you driven, regardelss of circumstances.

take care hun

Bib xx


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## alih (Mar 12, 2007)

Hi Bib

Yes I will definitely keep going to the acupuncture sessions.  I really feel that it has helped by tremendously and I am not a firm believer in the whole thing.  

I am the one who is devasted unfortunately DH says that he is disappointed but not upset.  He has not wanted to talk about things especially since we went to the JR a couple of weeks ago.  This has been very difficult from my point of view as I have felt the need to talk and cry and he just feels he has to be strong for both of us.  I am hoping that if we both see the counseller together than it might bring all the emotions out.  I'm so concerned that this will pull us apart.  I feel that at the moment our relationship has to come first.

Take care too and thanks for finding the time to read this

love

Ali


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## bib (Apr 17, 2007)

Hi Ali,

I think that sometimes, our dh's find it hard to connect with us girlies when it comes to emotion.  I know my dh withdrew terribly when we had the intitial results for IF.  Basically, I was fine, but his sperm was, well, a total nightmare.  He hid his feelings and just got on with it, whilst I collapsed in to a heap of emotion.

It must be so awful to try and deal with dissapointment - being strong sometimes just isn't an option. Might it be that he doesn't know how to deal with it or perhaps he is worried that he will upset you more  I just wish there was something more than words that I could send to help.

I know that ttc puts enormous pressure on you as a couple.  TX is such a rollercoaster of a ride with no guranteed outcome and that is what makes it so hard to deal with.  I felt intially that this would either pull us apart or make us stronger.  I think that is a natural worry because of the pressure involed.  I think you are probably right, if you can get him to talk to the councillor, it certainly won't do any harm.

I am wishing you well and sending lots of love and hugs - very uch wishing I was a magician   

Bib xx


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## Debz1965 (Nov 15, 2006)

Hi Ali

I am sorry to hear your news, sounds like Bib has given you some excellent advice.


The success rate where I go is approx 15% for my age bracket, but I am trying again with my own eggs and they have changed my regime slighty in the hope that I get maybe 2-4 extra than last time, just so the embryologist has a better choice of what ones to put back rather than just the 1 like I had last time.

Take care of yourself

Debs xxx


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