# Keeping the BD alive!



## MrsSecker

Hi

Was just wondering, anyone ttc naturally got any tips for keeping the BD alive and not letting it become mechanical and literally only for conceiving?!


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## kitten77

if you find the answer, bottle it and you will make a fortune!   

no seriously..... i have to admit it is hard work to keep the sparkle alive,  at the moment we have lost it and lost it bad.  its hard to 'forget' times of months, best time to do it, having to do it at certain times.  i really wish i could go back to BMS without it being BMS!!! i just want the S part!!! 

i think i am gonna suggest 'date nites' for us, not just for the bms but to get 'us' back.  

will be looking at this thread for any answers!


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## MrsSecker

Hi Kitten77

thanks for your reply, I'm pleased I am not the only one this is happening to! We have lost it bad too   

People say to me just forget too but how can you when the only time we do the BD is when it is ovulation time! Apart from that we don't bother! Date nights sound like a good plan  

I do long for the days when it was about us and not babies but until we have the longed for baby, I suppose its not going to happen.  Let me know if your date night works!


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## dakota

I think everyone loses it at some point, which is totally normal   

What i did try and do was not let onto DH when it was the time to do it, as it got to the point where he was refusing (couldn't blame him really) it was stressing him out to much, so kept my cycle info to myself and it eased the pressure slightly

xx


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## MrsSecker

Hi Dakota, that is a brilliant tip actually and I had thought of doing that then this morning DH said to me "when are you ovulating coz we need to start having you know what!" so he ruined that plan by asking! but hopefully next month he will not remember and I can try.  

He is getting to the point like your DH did when he doesnt want to do it due to feeling pressured and feeling like a baby making machine but it is hard when you don't really do it regularly throughout the month you have no choice but to point out "it's time to do it now!".  It is one thing after another this baby business!


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## staceysm

Hi,

I can relate to you totally and believe me, it nearly cost me my marriage. You can see from my signature that I had IVF, but I was on clomid for 10 months which really put a strain on my marriage. I didn't want to bed anytime apart from ovulation and then I wanted it over with quickly, so that I could just lay back with my legs in the air!  And in all honestly it was a complete waste of time, as I still never got pregnant. 

We are now TTC No.2 and I started obsessing again the first month, but I have now for my own sanity had to push it to the back of my mind.  I am trying to make sure that we bed 2 to 3 times a week and I know then that ovulation will then be covered as sperm can live for days.

Fertility can affect your relationship and in some case's cause a marriage breakdown and even worse some DH's have affairs.

Good luck with the bedding anyway!

Stacey


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## MrsSecker

hi staceysm.  Thank you for getting in touch, I am so pleased I am not the only one feeling like this and I am at that point now where the only time I want to bed is ovulation time, it is so awful to fall into the trap.  

My DH has said the same as you actually about doing it 2-3 times a week and that sperm lives for a while inside but I always feel unless we are doing it at least every other day if not every day at ovulation that we haven't tried hard enough when I get yet another BFN  

If you don't mind me asking, when you say it put a strain on your marriage, what happened? I am worried about my DH thinking I am only using him as a sperm donor, we haven't reached the point yet I don't think, where I am worried he will leave, but I certainly don't want to get to that point.  I need to learn to relax about it too, I wish I knew how though!


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## L_ouise

Just have sex that isn't during your fertile phase and also have lots of oral sex, so that it at least feels like you have a sex life around ttc.

I'm not sure you can make sex during your fertile phase less mechanical though


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## marie73

Hello MrsSecker

I am so glad you asked this question. This is the exact position me and DH are in. I already have 2 children and so finding time to do the BMS around kids and him working away is always a nightmare. Also, he doesn't have the highest drive so its always hard work to trying and make BMS sound appealing.  I can tell you its nearly cost us our relationship and I often question if its worth it, but we both want a child of our own (he is not the dad of my two) so badly that we know we have to put the effort in.

It seems like such a taboo to talk about this when reading some of the posts some people seem to be doing the BMS everyday and loads of times - and it does make me question sometimes how much he loves me if he can't want to do the deed so often. But then again my common sense kicks in and I know he loves me but with other pressures it something that slips. 

I like the idea of date nights and I think I am going to give that a go. Just want to say thank you for asking the question and thangks to all the other girls who responded - its lovely to hear its not all plain sailing for everyone else too!
Marie xx


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## MrsSecker

Hi Marie73.  You're welcome! I noticed on here that there were no other comments about BMS so I thought I would bite the bullet and just ask! 

I think date nights might be a good idea for us all to try   (though money is a big factor as it's so expensive to go out these days! ) I am ovulating this week so I have warned my DH to be in a good mood when he gets in from work tonight! It is so difficult though as he doesn't have a high drive either, and to be honest since we started trying to get pg I haven't had a high drive either.  We want a baby so badly but it has ruined sex for us really, I am hoping that it will go back to normal once (if ever) we have a baby!  We are still romantic with each other and I know DH loves me, shame we couldn't get a baby by hugging isn't it!  

Good luck with it all and feel free to chat to me on here, it is nice to know I am not the only one feeling like this.  Let me know how date night goes!

Lots of   to you


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## marie73

Hey MrsSecker

Hope your doing ok and your DH was in a good mood when he got home. I am CD 18 I usually ovulate day 11 but I am using pee sticks at the minute and always end up with a drama on them - either they go positive then not sure if I left it long enough to read properly and then test again a day or two later and end up with another positive. Always get it wrong. This month I did it at work - read that afternoons are better to test and ended up taking stick too loo up my jumper sleeve - was returning to desk with it as had to wait 10 mins as using ASDA cheapo ones (that'll teach me) and the used pee stick slipped out of my jumper and landed at the   HR manager. AAAGHHH could have died - tried naturally to pick it up and walk on normally - so embarassing. 

We did manage BMS on day 11 of pee stick positive - tested day 12 too and got a negative on pee stick but no BMS after that day as DH was on a course away with work (and due to drive issues we probably would not have managed another go anyway!). So fingers crossed for this month. I am in unoffical 2 WW - googling like billyo how soon after ovulation I can do a HPT. 

What cycle day are you? Fingers crossed you got your BMS last night. Maybe we can keep each other company on the cycles. Take care and talk again soon.

Lots of   to you and the other ladies on here.

Marie x


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## liggsy

MrsSecker, great thread    It is something that affects a lot of us, after trying for year after year it gets kind of habitual doesnt it.
My dh said last night that he accepts its just way it is that we have lots of bms around ov and not much thereafter    i dont want him to think like that, i have suggested the date night to him too so will see. We do try to keep it fresh still, i dont lie with legs in the air for half an hour any more like i used to    Its hard though, when babies are always on your mind, its hard to switch off, always in the back of you mind what position you need to finish in etc   
We dont want it to be a chore do we girls, so any hits and tips would be great    xx


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## liggsy

Marie, just read your post, you must have been mortified when the pee stick fell out of your sleeve hun    Ah well, you got through it. fingers crossed you have done enough this month


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## MrsSecker

Hi Marie

That is so funny about the pee stick! poor you! did the HR manager know what it was or did you get away with it?!

I am on CD 15 and should be ovulating today, I normally do the pee sticks but I decided not to this month as when I do one of them I sometimes start to think, right I am definitely ovulating so I will get pregnant this month and it is too much pressure.  I do normally do my test on an afternoon though as I have heard too that is when you are supposed to do it. 

I was looking at the Clearblue fertility monitors last night online, the cheapest I could find was £60 with Amazon but the pee sticks are £13 a box! Will hold off with buying one of those at the moment I think!  

Yes DH was in a good mood last night and we had lovely BMS!! Going to have a go again tonight and tomorrow, and if the sex drive allows, hopefully the next night too, then will go down to every other night just to make absolutely sure! Can't take any chances!!  

I am exactly the same when I am in my 2WW, I notice every twinge and look it up on the internet seeing if it is a good sign.  I am MAKING myself not do that this month though, once the 2WW commences I refuse to go on the internet looking at symptoms! To be honest I normally know deep down when it hasn't worked as a few days after ovulation I can feel period pains starting, just a couple of seconds a few times a day, but every month I pretend I am not feeling them and that I still might be pregnant and they might be implantation pain which I have read about on the internet! I'm losing the plot!!   

Yes would love to keep each other company if you want, we seem to have the same cycle more or less so that would be nice.  If it is easier I don't mind chatting in our personal message box? up to you?  What day can you do a test then

lots of   and   to you. 

MrsSecker. xxxxxxx


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## Crossed4Luck

Hey ladies I thought I'd post, hope you dont mine. I've bookmarked these thread and pop in everyday to see how you are getting on, firstly me and hubby have a failed ISCI this month and have no choice but to (try) and raised enough cash for another try in Sep, anyway long story short was worried about IVF nacking up your cycle so I invested in one of those CBFM, wasnt sure it was going to work but then on day 19 of cylce finally got a peak, thank god. Well the reason I can thank god it me and hubby though might as well try naturally (even though slim - no chance of it happend) while we wait until Sep......So monitor read high on day 8 and were were BD'ing pretty us everyday until 2nd peak on day 20, I can tell you it ended up being SUCH an effort!! For the first 4 night it was fine after that became a chorse and resulted in several arguments as hubby just wanted to go to bed to sleep, all's ok now, however I'm hoping its not like this next cycle.......althought I live it hope I dont need a next cycle, I hear miricles can happen!!  

Anyway...marie73 - Love the pee stick story, I laughed so much, did she know what it was or click or or say anything, I bet you were soooooo embarrassed. 

MrsSecker - yeah as you can see above I got one this month, was happy to see I', ovulating (as was worried since failved IVF), its quite easy to use, yeah its pricy I must admit (I also bought off Amazon) however I'm really chuffed its worked my ov out already, hopefully next months once it's learnt' my cycle we can cut back on the BD as I wont ahve so many highs lol lol lol  

xx


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## Crossed4Luck

Oh and chatting cycles - I'm usually about 28-29 days so I guess ov'ing on CD19 makes me a late Ov'er, I'm now on 7dpo, anyone else similar cycle?? x


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## marie73

Hello Crossed4luck welcome to our little group. 

Peestick story was a nightmare - have an awful feeling she thought it was a pg test how ironic is that... We are going through a re-org thing at work so she's probably got my cards well and truely marked!!  Not to worry my stealth mission to retrieve it was something worthy of a place in Ninja school!  

Anyway my cycle is 26 days - nice and short and I am about 7dpo. Getting all the famililar twinges and stuff lower BBT etc today so have worked myself up into a am / I aren't / I state again - happens every month even though I swear that I will never do it again. Its nice having someone to share the cycle with though as for us TTC naturally each month has its own mini 2ww.

We are waiting for our referral for IVF so should be starting treatment in next few months but we have to pay as I have 2 kids already with my ex, so if we could get a natural BFP it would be amazing.  Here hoping for all of us that we get a BFP soon.  

How long have you all been ttc?  MrsSecker - will PM you later tonight hope the BMS is goine well  wishing you lots of it and lots of success...  I am shattered today as have been in Southampton and then had to drive back up to Doncaster - lovely 4 hour drive. 

Anyway - better go do some cleaning - speak soon love and baby dust to all.

Marie xx


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## Crossed4Luck

marie73 - Me and hubby been trying to conceive since we moved into our house, in June will be five years, so I guess a good 4 years. We found out year and half ago hubby carried defect CF gene, which runs in family's, oddly we don't know of anyone who has it in his family that has it, of the irony. Obviously hubby was not aware of it either, as a CF carrier mean I had to have teats to make sure I didn't carry same defect gene or we could end up with a child that has full blown CF, luckily I dont have the defect gene so would mean a child would either be a carrier or not. Anyway due to this issue hubby dont produce testosterone properly so has very low count (1-3 million on three different SA's) and he has morphology 0%, so basically if it did ever happen for us it would be a miracle!! However I'm living in hope and 'trying naturally' while we save pennies for next go in Sep/Oct this year.

xx


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## marie73

Hello all,

Just popping in after a super stressful day at work today - god I hate my job. It is so stressful - who knows how I'd cope if I ever get to the 2ww through IVF - poor little beanies wouldn't stand a chance. Spent most of day avoiding 5 month pg best friend at work then rest of day feeling guilty. Just can't face her at the minute, I love her but there is only so much bump talk i can stomache. Feel like I am a rubbish friend soemtimes but you just have to be selfish I think on down days anyway!

Anyway enough poor me. Crossed4luck - you have been trying a long time, its got to be heart breaking. We have been trying for about 18 months but pee sticking and BBT and mucus and all other good stufff for about 7 months. Waiting for IVF referral - Paperwork came today - Yippee!!!! Its like filling in the census again! 

MrsS - hows the BD going - will pm you tonight its a promise - just felt rubbish after drive back up from Southampton yesterday that I went to bed at 8:30. Anyway better go clean house now as mother in law descending for weekend (she's lovely really so don;t mind at all) just feel like moaning today. 

Also does anybody know (TMI coming here) if bad wind is a side effect of anything positive - its such a good job DH works away or he would be disgusted, am so windy could give him a run for his money at the minute and that takes some doing!!!

Love to all - hope you are all looking forward to weekend.
Marie xx


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## GJT

What a lovely wee group - hope you don't mind me posting    

I can totally relate to BMS becoming mechanical with constant baby making on my mind. It's weird, never thought I'd be like this    I had a m/c in Nov so BMS was the last thing on my mind for a long time afterwards. I think I was more afraid than anything else. We do try to make it as natural as we can, but it's so hard when all you can think about is babies! I'm trying BMS ever other night from CD7/8, as DH little swimmers are a wee bit slow. It is hard though. I'm not sure I have any tips - maybe a wee sneaky nap on a saturday or sunday afternoon - we do that   

Marie - good story about the pee stick, that is something I would do    Oh you have windy - I used to get it really bad with progesterone suppositories as part of IVF tx, so may be a good sign      Sorry to hear you had a stressful day at work - you can chill out now and forget about it with a nice hot cup of tea   

Liggsy -    hope you're well hun    It is hard  - with babies on your mind all the time   

Crossed4luck - you keep trying, miracles do happen      I'm a 28-29 day cycle and ov 13/14 usually. 

MrsSecker - enjoy the BMS and fingers crossed for you     

A big    to everyone 
GJ


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## MrsSecker

MAJOR DISASTER with BMS last night, I'm in ovulation so we needed to do the BD last night. All I can say is NIGHTMARE.  Neither DH or I were in the mood but I was thinking we didn't do it last night (Wed) so we must do it tonight (Thu) so we went up to bed and started kissing but nothing was happening with DH if you know what I mean! anyway, after about 40 minutes of trying and trying still nothing, poor DH felt like a cow being milked and we were no further forward, I ended up losing my temper   and in a panic about if we don't do it then I definitely won't be pg this month and it all ended in me shouting at DH, him saying "he was tired" which made me angrier   and then we ended up going to sleep back to back and not talking! see I told you, NIGHTMARE!  

I haven't see DH this morning as he was out to work before I got up but I think I need to apologise   I was like a woman possessed and that is not going to achieve anything, who wants to have S never mind BMS with a shouting   !!!

Anyway, pleased I have FF to confess my sins too! 

  to all and lots and lots of


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## Crossed4Luck

MrsSecker - Oh honey been there, think we all have its the preesue and sometimes we just pop! Somethings got to give and usually its our sanity 

Anyway as you still have today however about making it up to him?!!? Are you home first or the other way round?? Last time I yelled at hubby for the same thing  I was hope before him, closed all the curatain, brought down stairs the quilt covers and pillows, lit cadles, made him tea waiting for him on the coffee table and also to 'help things along' when you not so much in the mood, massage oil. give him a massage and say your sorry, make him feel relaxed, oh and then I also bought some concieve plus, so basically good lube for spermy and not to be to graphic but you can 'help in along' and then its double wammy as will help you with your 'not so turned on feeling down there' too and bobs your uncle fannys your aunt!............Does thats help at all love That way your making it up to him but still 'getting the job done' so to speak 

xx


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## marie73

Oh MrsS, what a nightmare. I have been there so many times I can't tell you. All I can say is after doing a ridiculous amoutn of Googling over last few months about ovulation and best time to conceive - today is often better than yesterday. Crossed4luck's plan sounds good to me, worth a go at least - an apology with extras!! 

If Its any consolation I am sure he feels awful too. My DH is very stubborn and if he is like that it would take us a couple of days to get over it (well past operation egg day). That is what we call BMS time - operation egg. We are lucky if we get one goo dgo in at BMS! So don't worry you will get there and hopefully tonight. Besides you have us girlies to rant at now.  I have to say you made me laugh out loud at work when I read your bit about milking the cow - I could give any good milk made a run for her money now I reckon. 

Got my fingers and everything crossed for a productive night - put into plan operation crossed4luck... and report back with good progress hopefully later.

Take care hun - pm me if you want to offload and rant your more than welcome.

Love and big hugs....
Marie xx


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## Crossed4Luck

ha ha ha marie73, operatoin egg, love that term I am soooo going to pitch it now, very funny!  x


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## MrsSecker

Thank you Marie73 and Crossed4luck.  That is a genious idea crossed4luck, i am off work today so i am definitely going to do that when he gets in tonight, i have baked some cheese and fruit scones to make up for it too, done the housework and been food shopping so i have more than made up now i think! lol   

I am pleased i made you LOL at work marie73! i will pm you too and i also love operation egg, that is brilliant!  

by my calculations i was supposed to ovulate sometime on tuesday/early wed, we did it sunday, monday and tuesday but not wednesday or thursday so i think we have messed it up for this month what do you all think??


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## Crossed4Luck

MrsSecker - Couple of things, how did you get on last night, do tell us we're all eager to know 

Secondly, Spermy's can live for a few days in the body so hopefully you will have caught it right, how did you know you ov'd are you temping,  using OPK etc, or just a informed guess??

Well as for me today is CD19 and 10dpo, well normally I would have come on by now however thinking as I didn't ov till CD19 maybe AF might be later this month?!? I bought some internet cheapie prego strips, tested with FMU and neg, I think at 10dpo might be a bit early anyways. I'm keen to know how long my cycle will be this month after the failed IVF last month, guess will just have to wait and see!!!

Anyone else had a failed cycle? Did first prop period (not the one to get to show cycle was neg) afterward turn up late? xx


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## Crossed4Luck

Oh and I hope you dont mind me asking these types of question on here ladies, just thought you all seem like a nice bunch so good to maybe keep in touch/update on this thread!!? x


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## MrsSecker

Hi Crossed4luck, friday night went brilliant thank you!  we ended up doing a date night, went to the cinema and for a meal and it set the mood lovely, just like when we first got together, so i suppose I am just in he 2ww now.  

I knew i was ovulating as i use the OPK pee sticks from tesco, I only started ovulating again in september with the help of metformin so i like to check everything still working each month!  

keep in touch


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## marie73

Hello ladies

Hope you all had a fab weekend - sounds like MrsSeckers got off to a flying start ! Lucky you I am defo trying date night this nmonti I think. 

MrsSecker - fingers crossed for 2ww     its good to have some company along the way this time - may be it will make the 2ww a little easier. Your operation egg sounded like a roaring success. Going to give that a go myself next month. 

Crossed4luck - fire away on your questions although I haven't started my IVF yet - filled in paperwork this weekend so we should get going in a month or two. I hope things have settled down for you and that the wicked witch AF hasn't arrived for BFP reasons!!!

GJT and Liggsy - are you still with us? If so hope your both ok and doing lots of lovely BMS - any one else tried their date night yet

From me had a lovely weekend the mother in law was here, but she is lovely so don't really mind but it does mean BD doesn't gte done which is a shame as its nice to do BD at non-BD time if you get my meaning! Also my kids came home Friday after a night with the ex telling me that he is going to have a baby - was gutted, he is such an awful dad that there is no justice. We want a baby and my hubby is such a fantastic stepdad - that it just seems so unfair. Also had to ooh and aaah on friday over best friends 5 monmth scan. Anyway moan over.  Have no pg symptoms anymore and did a cheapo test last night which was bfn although AF not due till  wednesday but sure its now on its way. All PMA gone  .

Hope you lovely ladies are having a fab Monday. Talk soon. Big     to all and lots of     for natural BFP's.

Marie


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## catkin79

Hi ladies,

Hope you don't mind if I crash your thread?  I only joined the site yesterday, so reading through the message board and your topic struck a cord!

We've been TTC since April 2006 - 5 years now!  Keeping the spark alive has presented problems on occasion, BMS can feel pretty robotic at times.

I have a slightly different problem - my DH claims to be happy to get down to it much more often than I seem to want to.  Once I've ovulated I can get really narky with him if he puts the moves on - I try to play fair and not push him away, but can't always see the point if we've missed the window!

Anyone else have this problem?


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## MrsSecker

hi catkin, welcome to the thread! 

yes i can relate to that fully, i have fallen into the trap of only doing it at ovulation time and not bothering any other time, to be honest though you have to do it so much at ovulation time it wears you out and you need a break!! 
my DH is hard to motivate at ovulation time, any other time its fine but mention the words "ovulation" or "egg" that's it, we have a struggle on our hands! its diffucult too when you work full time and you get so tired on a night, hopefully once we have our babies the bd will go back to "normal"!  

Marie73 - thanks for luck in my 2ww, having some slight cramps but this could be AF so not getting too excited.  

keep up the BMS ladies!!

  to all

PS. anyone starting to dread BMS?


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## marie73

Hello ladies, 

Welcome Catkin - I wish I could relate to your problem but mine is the opposite way round - I always have to nag the other half into BMS (or just S) most of time. Would love it if I had to fend him off   - but i reckon wouldn't love it for too long. Could give it a go though I think for a little while. Its always hard when one of you has a different drive to the other even in normal times never mind the BMS time. Its also hard for me to pressure him as like MrsS says we both work full time, and he works away from home so has a 4 hour drive to get back on a Friday so that only really leaves us Sat and Sun. you should see us at operation egg time - I am texting him to get himself back from Reading and in a good mood - bless him. 

How is everyone else today. Crossed4luck - hows the cycle going - has AF arrived yet - I hope the wicked  has kept herself away  Hope all you other ladies are doing ok.

AFM - its day before AF is due and really can tell she is on her way. Gutted - bought bottle of wine in anticipation of her rearing her ugly head tonight or tomorrow - my one small 2 finger salute to AF!!!  On the positive side I am making biscuits to keep myself busy and forget about babies and stuff. Not the worlds greatest cook so its a challenge!!!


Better run ladies the biscuits are a calling!! Love and Hugs to all    Lots of    for all the upcoming test dates.

Marie xx


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## amj2906

Hi - also joining this thread as a newbie today and like Catkin it caught my eye and it has been reassuring to read everyone's comments. 

When we first started paying attention to "the fertile window" my DH called it OET "optimum egg time". He used to eagerly ask "is it OET yet" but now it's "OET again, sigh!". Pee sticks didn't work for me, too stressful. I've tried saying let's not worry about OET and just sex when we feel like it but as many of you have said, that is easier said than done. With IVF only a month away I think DH is secretly pleased that he'll be getting a bit of a break! 

Sorry no great tips but it's good to share. 

Have a sunny evening!


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## marie73

Hey amj2906 - welcome to our little group xx

Just a quick pop back on to say I have checked my knickers at least 20 times today for AF arriving. Think everyone at work thingks I a a little bonkers or have some sort of infection have been in loo so many times. God what I would give for just one month with no knicker checking.  Might invent myself a pair of knickers with a slogan in bottom - "Get back to work" Marie xxx


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## Crossed4Luck

He he me too, I am also a knicker checker marie73 oh and I am a poas-a-holic too 

Oh and the old crone  got me today, darn her!!! Oh well, maybe next month eh xx


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## marie73

Hey Crossed4luck 

Ah hun - I am just discovering the pee stick addiction, to add to the temperature and knicker check. 

Huge big hugs to you on wicked witch appearing. She is visiting me today - confirmed with BBT down to 36.51 well below coverline. Even though I knew she was coming - its still awful.      for me and you.

Fingers crossed for MrsS, lets hope we get one big positive this month. 

I am going all out positive this month - DH is back on operation egg day and day after (very regular cycle so can tell already wehn it comes) going to take all my vits and may even go for a run - DH nearly wet hisself when i told him that - how rude!

Love to all - enjoy the sunny day. Trying not to feel really upset about AF arriving today   but on a positve last nigths biscuit attempt actually tasted ok (that is a big step forward for me!)....
Marie xx


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## MrsSecker

Hi all

Hope everyone is ok and trying to enjoy BMS! lol! 

I said to DH tonight, when was the last time we "did it" and we had to have a think and it was ovulation time, we haven't bothered since! this bloody baby making is harder work than people not ttc think!  

Anyway, I am in 2ww at the moment, having a few cramps but probably just AF on the way , trying to have lots of    though. trying not to do a test until AF due date which is 14th!  

Marie, I will pm you in the morning from work, hate typing on my lap top, keyboard at work is better for longer messages. xx

Hugs and baby dust to all
Mrs S


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## Crossed4Luck

Hey ladies, i'm not sure which methord your using if its basal body temps, OPKs, CBFM, but I'm just started up a CBFM (or OPK's etc) cycle buddies on the 'TTC naturally with fertiliy issues section', your welcome to join if you like! I'm also using the CBFM, however was thinking anyone TTC naturally can join no matter what your method is. Its just a thought so anyone that whats a bit of suport to chat about thier cycles, and if not will prob be chatting to you on this page anyways, ha ha x


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## marie73

Hey crossed4luck - I will join - will get myself round to it today - been so stressful with my job not even had chance to come on  FF what is the world coming too!!! Hope you are all doing ok - Mrs S - I know its AF time around now - so hope the witch doesn;t arrive. Thinking of you today.

I am on new regime - no pee sticks and no bbt this month - giivng myself a rest from constant checking - should manage to get knicker checking down to about 10 per day, rather than the normal ridiculous amount I normally do at AF time. 

Enjoy Wednesdays ladies - CD 7 for me, operation egg around the weekend some time - DH has been warned - no pee stikces therefore he needs to do his bit frequently over weekend.  

Talk later when I get a bit of spare time. love and babydust to all

Marie xx


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## MrsSecker

Hi al

Thanks for thinking about me Marie, AF on the way though so its over for me this month  (I have PM'd you)

Hope everyone else doing ok with the BD.  DH and I have have had rudies a few times and it isnt even ovulation time so that was nice, doing it for just wanting to do it rather then needing to, i think it has made things a bit better for next months BD now!

Good luck to anyone on 2WW.

lots of Love
MrsS


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## catkin79

Hope the no-regime month gives you a bit of headspace Marie.  I won't patronise you and say 'relaaaaxxx'!  Hope you and DH enjoy the weekend   

MrsS - glad you & DH have got you mojo back!

Crossed4Luck - hope you're well.  I'll join your CBFM thread too - have ordered one from Amazon, just waiting for it to arrive

AFM - AF is here is full force  .  I think I'm going to have a glass of wine and some pate as my silent 2 fingered salute to her! Going to try and make a concerted effort with DH this month and not restrict nookie to the 'fertile window' (what a horrible expression!).  Have got some time off this month so he won't know what's hit him!


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## marie73

Hey all

Its Friday WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO!!! So pleased to be getting a few days off. Andy its supposed to be operation egg time around now - well going on my normal cycle anyway - yippee -   . 

Catkin - fair play on the wine - I have to say I have my own two fingered salute to AF every month with a lovely glass of wine - its my one perk for the wicked witch showing up.  Bet your DH won't know what's hit him - good luck with TTC this month - lots of extra BD is bound to be a good help.  I have some time off too but instead of BMS we have to do our garden   well that's what DH said - I can only hope it was code for something else??!!!  


MrsS - extra rudies is always good am v. jealous. Will pm you over weekend at some point. 

Am going ahead with Crossed4lucks - date night suggestion - its going to be Sunday I think. Will report back progress although knowing my luck there will be some incident or other that will end up with it being a bit of a farce - thinks have a knack of not going to plan where I am concerned!     But we will enjoy it anyway.

Got to go - some work to do before leaving -    and   to all

Enjoy the weekend, 
Marie xx


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## MrsSecker

Hi all

The two days of extra non-baby making S has dried up!  Two more weeks till ovulation, ah well it was good while it lasted! lol  

Got my HSG on Thursday so worried sick about that  

Have a lovely weekend everyone, hope BMS goes well for all who are giving it a go!

speak soon
MrsS


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## catkin79

Hi ladies,

Not baby making time yet but still had rudies twice this weekend - DH is a happy man!  Now to need to summon up the energy to get down to it during the week too, but often can't be arsed after work when it's not Ov time.  Proably at least another week til Ovulation for me so got some time before becomes a necessity - anything in between is a bonus!

Hugs to all x


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## marie73

Hello ladies

Just a quick visit to see how everyone is doing. I am ok - on the 2ww now - do this each month - start really positive and then hend up in the same position really negative by the time AF arrives.  Have decided to give acupuncture a go - have any of you tried it - it was recommended by a friend I met on here who I meet up with from time to time. 

The sun is shining though and I only have one more day at work till I go on leave for 11 days. Go back to work 3rd of May whic his when AF arrives - so the normally very stressful work environment will be gone too - yippee!!! So looking forward to a few days off and hopefully it will make 2 ww fly by. 

Any other news from you guys? We are doing ok with BMS - in fact last weekend was great - lots of BMS for operation egg but hubby was great - so like the guy I first fell in love with. Happy Days!!

Take care to all,   
Marie xx


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## catkin79

Hi ladies,

Hope you're all well today.  I finished work yesterday and don't go back til after the bank holiday - woo hoo!!  Looking forward to having a few days off work.  HOpefully will tie in with ovulation too so we can make the most of    

Marie73 - I've been having acupuncture for the last 6 weeks - I go once a week.  I can't say that I find it a relaxing experience, but it's not unpleasant either.  Not sure if it's the acupuncture or due to some other changes I've made this year, but overall I'm feeling much more emotionally balanced and less stressed, which I hope will help chances of trying to conceive.  When I started I was mid-cycle, and had an unusually long cycle.  I've since had AF so it's a little easier to know exactly where I am with my cycle, particulaly with the CBFM and BBT too.  Let me know how you get on if you do decide to give it a go - would love to compare notes!  xxx

Hi  Crossed4Luck & MrsSecker   xxx


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## amj2906

Hello all! So pleased to have 4 days off work!
I'm in 2Ww now - last one before IVF starts   I'm not very optimistic, BMS was a bit sparse. I had thought I'd be on a real mission this month but in the end just wanted to relax and not stress DH even more! 

Marie - I've been having acupuncture for 4-5 months. I have noticed some subtle changes to my cycle/AF. Unfortunately it hasn't helped me conceive naturally but I think if you can afford it then it's got to be worth a try. I'll be persevering through IVF cycle

I hope you all have a lovely evening. Sunshine and long weekend, what a treat (sorry for those who are working  )


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## MrsSecker

Hi to everyone in the BMS thread, how is everyone getting on with their BMS?

ovulation is sometime this week for me so making an early start tonight and told DH we are "doing it"  tonight and as many times as we can manage this week! he smiled and said "ok" but I hope I haven't scared him! lol!  

Only had S about twice since last ovulation so i am looking forward to a bit more this week but i am sure by the end of the week i will be fed up of it and wont be able to wait to stop! then of course comes the dreaded 2WW, the part i hate the most.  

I am feeling more positive after the all clear on my HSG last week so all we need now is for DH's     to find their way to my egg!

lets keep the thread going ladies, how is everyone getting on keeping it alive?!!


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## catkin79

Hi everyone,

Have had a few days away from home, visiting friends and family, so not many chances for BMS for us past few days.  Did get some loving in yesterday when we got home but told DH to stay away from me today as got smear test tomorrow and I don't think you're meant to have sex 24 hours before hand.  I'm hoping that ovulation time is coming up, and don't go back to work til next week, so hope to get some   in over the next few days!

How's everyone else doing?


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## MrsSecker

Hi Everyone

Hi Catkin
Its ovulation week for me too and I am sure I have ovulation pain today so I am getting DH into the sack when he gets in! Hope we can manage most nights this week! I am feeling positive after HSG and hoping that I will get pregnant as some women have done after their HSG! I can live in hope!
I will answer your PM a bit later Catkin, gonna have a cuppa and watch the soaps!

happy BMS to everyone!


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## marie73

Hello lovely ladies...

Happy Easter all - hope you had a lovely Easter full of BMS if it was operation egg for all of you. I am slap in middle of 2ww and because hubby had  to do so much BMS this month I think he has gone on strike      - it puts me in such a grump. I think we will be having words when he comes home. (Although this could well be my hormones so he is probably expecting it!    

How you all getting on with operation egg - we are in 2ww - OTD is 3rd of May but after many failed monthly attempts its hard to get positive thinking its going to work to get let down again. Hubby is mega positve this month - I'm kinda glad though as I knho whe'll be devastated if it doesn't work this month (I worked him very hard in operation egg days)...Secretly I am quite pleased though becuase I think he will know a little of how I feel each time it does work and he tells me "relax it will happen!"

Not much other news from me other than to say good luck with your BMS for those ladies coming up to peak time.
  
Marie xx


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## amj2906

Hello All! 

I am also in middle of 2ww now - AF due 2nd May. Wish ovulation had been over the Easter weekend. Maybe it's because it wasn't BMS that my DH was decidely more interested than he had been the previous weekend! I'm not holding out much hope for this month and for once I feel quite relaxed about it. 

I hope you all have a lovely long weekend. 

x


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## catkin79

Hello my lovelies

So far this cycle, DH are doing well on the   front.  Coming up to operation egg time (hopefully, yet to be confirmed by CBFM) and we're doing it every day - but it's the same routine every time.  Any tips for mixing it up?!  Are any positions better for baby dancing? Does anyone put their legs in the air afterwards, or is it just me?  

 to all xxx


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## marie73

Hello all

Just a quick one for me as at work and so fed up. AF arrived yesterday which did not come as a shock as we had SA results back from fertility clinic on thursday and low and behold the sodding NHS only do part of a test. They did not test for anitsperm antibodies and we have tested really high for those - so there is little chance of us becoming pregnant naturally. Absolutley gutted.    

However, even though I knew this on Thursday - I still knicker checked a million times yesterday and no AF till around midnight - I had started to think we were having a miracle.  Am in a really grump / down mood so no personals today. 

Will pull myself together shortly and post something much more positive later. Oh and also very little BMS with the BM this month also - hubby on strike - GRRRR. We had words - but maybe the silver lining will mean that no BMS will enable us to get the S going better again??!!

Love and hugs to all
Marie xx


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## MrsSecker

Hi everyone

Seems to be all quiet on here, everyone must be off having some brilliant BMS!!


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## catkin79

Ha! Not the case for me, have only got up to mischief twice since ovulation!

Hope you're all well ladies xxx


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## MrsSecker

this thread has gone quiet all of a sudden! hope everyone is managing lots of BMS!

I went to see my fertility doctor the other day and he asked how many times a week we "do it" and I said well it depends, if it is not ovulation it might only be once a week, then at ovulation we step it right up to most days! The doctor wasn't too impressed! he sais we should be doing it 3 times a week AT LEAST even when it isnt ovulation!!!!!! 

Is it just me or is this a lot? three times a week when it isnt even ovulation?! what does he think we are, newlyweds?! lol

let me know what you all think....


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## jogger123

MrsSecker, I can't beleive the doctor said that! That seems a pretty excessive amount. I suppose its so your other half is always renewing and replenishing his little men but still...!

catkin79, I have always got my legs in the air    but really, i do that, i put them up against a wall for a while. Also, stick a pillow under your bum, thats supposed to help! Its not very ladylike but i think we are all past that point!

BTW, operation egg makes it sound like we are at war. i like it! We are all at war with AF and ttc! Keep up the good work old chaps!! Tally ho!!


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## marie73

Hey ladies

Just a quick catch up whilst at work. 

MrsS. doctor is a nutter - 3 times a week - crazy - my hubby would keel over at that news. Good luck girl     A little bit of BDing never hurt any - and a lot of BMS well - its a bonus!     You are right about the newleyweds stuff - think barring the odd bizarre weekend when I think my hubby was possessed by someone else - 3 times a week has not happened for quite a while, unless its operation egg then he just has no choice!  

Jogger / Catkin - I also put my legs in air, have to turn around to headboard and lean legs up against wall - can't keep em up for longenough on my own - its probably a reason to start going to gym... I end up with bottom up near DH head as he has turned tv on in bed by this point - oh the sites he must see - and he still loves me. 

Its operation egg for us this week - although little chance of success - we are passing the time really till IVF and hoping for a miracle - but anyway I can't let things just drift. Your right Jogger war is war and its me against AF this weekend. DH will have to do his best drill Sergent impression and get his soldiers working hard. 

Love and baby dust to all...
Marie xxx


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## catkin79

MrsS - that sounds mad.  What's the 'medical' point in baby dancing outside operation egg time?!  I can understand doing it for fun but surely he knows that you can only get pregnant a few days in the cycle, and you sound pretty clued up as to when you're ovulating.  Only reason I can think of is to ensure a fresh supply of DH's swimmers   

I'm glad I'm not the only one who puts their legs in the air then!  I've usually got two or three pillows under my bum and my legs on the wall above the headboard, which puts my bum right in DH's eyeline - lovley!  The things these men put up with!

Marie, really hope that you get a miracale BFP naturally and don't need the IVF.  Happy Operation Egg!


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## MrsSecker

Hi Catkin

Goodness knows why he said that, I suspect probably due to keep swimmers healthy but lets face it, men can do that on their own if you know what I mean! No way am I doing it three times a week when we dont want to, he can get lost! stupid man! 

I am a legs in the air, cushions under bum girl too and I don't get up afterwards at all if it is bed time, i just go to sleep and shower etc the next morning! no way I am standing up for hours and risking them flying back out! sorry tmi!

Dont think its a BFP for me this month as AF feels like she is definitely on the way.  good luck to everyone one else. x


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## sweetcheeks2009

Hi ladies

Why do you keep your legs in the air   and stick lots of pillows under your bums?    sorry i can't help laughing, im starting to have images in my mind    xxx


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## catkin79

One word Sweetcheesks - GRAVITY!  Figure anything I can do to keep the swimmers in the right location then I'll do it!  Although I know that it probably wouldn't make that much difference really.
And yes, the images you're imagining are as glamourous as it is in reality!  x


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## jogger123

Shame i can't do a handstand for half an hour!


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## mclou

i'm in the same situation as the rest of you....
we have agreed not to talk about fertility all the time. re the bedroom i think we just have to make a massive effort. remember all the things you love about your partner. try to spice things up a bit. if there is enough money in the pot maybe a weekend away. if not just use your imagination, get your best underwear out and make your partner feel like you want him (not just his sperm!) i think if you can get past the only doing it when you are ovulating phase it will be much more enjoyable for you both. 
i know its impossible not to think baby making  but enjoy being together and have fun fun fun!!


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## lynn1303

Hi girls. Just read all of ur posts. I'm so glad I'm not alone. 

Dh would do it all the time if it was up to him but a lot of our issues r he thinks he doesn't need to work for it if u know what I mean. I still want to be wooed. But he can be crude at times - get yer knickers off!!! It just puts me right off. He doesn't mean to upset me  maybe it's just his way of dealing with stress. 

This cycle we r ttc naturally after failed iui resulted in cyst. I popped my details into a period tracker. Haven't told dh dates or anything. After iui failed I had horrendous af si dh wasn't near me for a long time. When it looked like I was fertile I made the moves on him which worked a treat as it doesn't normally work that way with us. 

Also one nite I went to bed with my silk nighty that I wore on our wedding nite 5 yrs ago haven't had it on since sexy little number! Lol. He instantly recognised it and pounced. 

I'm now in unofficial 2ww with af due 5 July. 

I tried monitoring cm this month but I found it difficult. I wouldn't even know where to begin with bbt. I can't use fertility monitors as I have pcos and docs say don't waste my money they r useless with pcos. Any advice most welcome. 

Xxx


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## MrsSecker

Hi Lynn

Welcome to the thread! Sounds like you had a good "go" this month then, I have done the nice underwear etc too, I think all of us on here have tried everything! I have to resorted to not telling DH what day ovulation is, I just tell him its "this week" and that seems to help.  Some ladies on here also tried date nights but they didn't really work for me and DH on a regular basis.

As for the fertility monitors, PCOS ladies not being able to use them is a myth, I have PCOS and regularly use OPK's and also have a monitor, I know they work as I get negative results on the OPK's when I use them too early and then they go positive at ovulation, my fertility doctor agreed that not all ladies with PCOS have massive amounts of LH (this is what would give false readings) and that if I am getting negatives and lows etc then they are working.  So my advice is give them a try, if you do get negatives then positives on the OPK's then they are working.  

It is ovulation for me next week so i have warned DH that we need to make a start, we were supposed to make a start last night but when we both got to bed we didnt really get in the mood so we didnt bother! We are starting tonight! 

Let us know how you get on with the 2ww!

Mrs S


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## lynn1303

It's hard sometimes. When u get to bed u r so exhausted!!! One time I was On a day off dh came home about 3 I didn't say a word to him just stood up shut the blinds then u know the rest. It was a surprise for him tbh it was a surprise for me to!! Lol I just find it hard to relax and enjoy it. I've been really guilty of lying there and thinking to myself will u just hurry up!!! Which is wrong I know.  

Whereabouts r u in ur treatment the now? Xxx


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## MrsSecker

Hi Lynn

What a nice suprise for him to come home to! my DH is a builder so I would insist he had a shower first so not much spontaneity there! lol!

I often think that too "just hurry up" I think it comes with the whole baby making, when S is only happening for baby reasons it isn't the same.  I find when I am not ovulating we can have brilliant S, really passionate etc but as soon as ovulation comes around then we have a fight on our hands to get our bits and pieces going! 

I have texted DH to say we need to "do it" tonight which perhaps isn't very romantic but my DH has a habit of letting me do all the work at ovulation time and it gets right on my nerves as sometimes I can't be bloody bothered! lol! 

As for my treatment - I have PCOS and was started on Metformin as I wasn't ovulating, I lost two stone quickly and started ovulating again, I have had a HSG which came back clear and DH's sperm all came back normal/clear, so, I am still keeping on losing weight (after a break of not bothering and put 7lbs back on) and we are still trying, I use OPK's and have just started this cycle with my fertility monitor so I am waiting for the "peak" lol.  

What about you, what's your ttc story?

MrsS


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## MrsSecker

**************************************WARNING - TMI QUESTION BELOW!!!!*****************************************

I'm just a bit worried about this and wasn't sure who else to ask, so thought I would ask the wonderful ladies of FF.  

After BMS does anyone else get leakage of DH/DP's   I use cushions to prop up and feet on walls etc etc for about 15-20 mins but then as soon as I stand up it leaks out! I am just a bit worried that I am losing the stuff I need!!!

Would appreciate any insights.....

Mrs S xxxxx


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## kitten77

Hey  Mrs s, yes its totally normal hun, seeing as u been laying down with bum in air for that long all the swimmers have had long enough in there to get to places needed to go. Soi lay back, relax and its all normal x


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## MrsSecker

Ah, thanks Kitten, that makes me feel better and "normal" lol!

Mrs S


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## muffin1302

Hope you dont mind me gatecrashing (and bookmarking) 


I'm so relieved its not just me and DH that are struggling with keeping the passion alive!!


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## MrsSecker

Welcome to the thread Muffin - no you are definitely not alone! DH and I are now on day 8 of no action! basically last ovulation was the last time.

I said to DH last night "We haven't done it for ages now" and he said "that monitor (my CBFM) tells us when it's time to do it"!!! I know he was only joking but that is exactly what it feels like when ttc!

Hope everyone else is ok.  

Mrs S


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## lynn1303

Mrs s. U should tell himits time even when it's not if that his attitude. The advantage of being a woman is we get it when we want it!!! We shouldn't have to persuade oh they should be doing that with us. I'm afraid I've been like u this month. Got him everyday during fertile time and then only once on our wedding anniversary which is obligatory. Its a law or so I've been told!!! Lol. Xxx


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