# I think I've reached the stage where enough is enough..........



## coxy (Aug 4, 2005)

Hi,
I think Ive finally got to the point where I am fed up with fertility treatment and its now best to concentrate on MY life.

Ive had over 15 years of trying to get pregnant, 13 of those years were with an ex partner, which was IUI's and IVF.  Underwent IVF last Feb 05, was abandoned as I developed a cyst, we then had to halt all chances of doing ivf again until I'd found a new job (was made redundant by my unsympathetic male boss!)and were told in Nov 05 that we had been accepted for more funding for IVF, so were due to start now, then found out that Primary Care Trust in Northampton isnt funding anymore IVF cycles till after April.  I am so fed up with it all, you constantly put your life in hold, in the hope of getting pregnant.  I know April isnt too far away, but I just want to get on with my life, im currently doing a job that doesnt particularly interest me, but it was a stop gap for "maternity leave"!  I feel sorry for my husband as he hasnt had the chance to try ivf properly (as last cycle abandoned), but enoughs enough!

Julia


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

I am so sorry to hear about everything you have been through, I hope you are able to find peace in your life - whether or not you decide to go on for more treatment or not in the future. 15 years is such a long time to go through rounds of treatments, proceedures etc, I think you are a remarkable and courageous lady.

I understand exactly what you mean about wanting your life back - I decided no more after our last IVF ended dismally back in July - but remember there is nothing wrong in deciding to have another crack at the whip with IVF in the future, if you feel it is right for you at that time.

Wishing you the best of everything for the future
With love
Emcee x


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

hi julia
I think you are very brave to start making decisions about stopping treatment?. I don't think there is a right time it just happens. I am sad to learn that you have had along and difficult road and a rocky road. As Emcee said you are a remarkable and courageous lady and i have to agree that you have strength of character.
I hope that you find that we can give you the support and help that you need during this time and you know where we are..the only suggestion i may have is maybe to sit down with your dear husband and talk through everything. You mentioned that you felt sad that he hasn't had the chance of IVF, i think its important that you explore this so that you are agreeing with things together...because you will need each other so much at this time...
You know where i am...
lots of love astridxxx


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## Bangle21 (Dec 17, 2004)

Hi Julia,

Just to re-iterate what Astrid and Emcee already said.  This whole experience is so hard and it really does take hold of all those years' of our lives, even when we try to "forget" it.  It's impossible isn't it.

I think you are making a brave decision, you absolutey do get sooooooo fed up of all this and the lingering heartache that comes with it and doesn't go away.

Maybe you shouldn't put so much pressure on yourself.  MAybe this is just another "bad patch" ? (for want of a better phrase).  Maybe try taking it each day at a time, and don't make any "final" decisions until you feel you are absolutely ready to go down that route?  You never know, when April comes, you might wish you'd gone for it.

I hope you find peace with yourself whatever you decide.  We are all here for you and we know how it feels.

Take care
Love Gil x


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## zora (Sep 30, 2005)

HI Julia sorry to hear you are feelinglow. You've been through a lot over a long period of time. Maybe you just need a 'break' for the moment. I'm sure it will do you the power of good. Come April you may feel  'ready' again. Take a break. Good luck with whatever you decide in April


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## coxy (Aug 4, 2005)

Hi All,
Thanks for the messages of support, the whole fertility process is such a rollercoaster, as you all know, you think you've got it clear in your head and then something happens and youre just not sure anymore.

We went back to Care today, basically to have a moan about the funding being delayed and have decided to have "one last shot", it will cost us £4000, but at least at the end of it, we can have some kind of closure and get on with life, maybe even look into adoption.  I just couldnt wait till April, and even if we did, there would be such a back log and apparently all the women who have had their ivf put on hold, will have had to had the ivf by June, so it seems to me that they will be cramming women through and would they get the attention they needed?.

I start injecting in a couple of weeks time, which means that it should be all over and done with my beg of March, at least then, we can reward ourselves with a holiday afterwards.

Thanks for the messages, sorry ive been so indecisive!

Good luck to you all with whatever you decide to do!

Love Julia x


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

hi julia
The most important thing is you have come to a decision and thats the right one for you both at the moment. We all need some sort of closure because you need to finish when the time is right for you both...
You know where we are if you need to chat..

love astridxx


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Hi Julia

Astrid is right, you have to prioritize yourself at times like this, and I wish you the very best of luck. I understand your reasons for wanting to push ahead, I will keep my fingers very firmly crossed that this is your time XXX

Take care of yourselves - sending you love & the very best of wishes

Emcee xxx


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## coxy (Aug 4, 2005)

Thanks every one for your messages,
Will let you know how the ivf goes!

Julia x


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