# looking for online buddies!!!



## EmmaLily (Sep 8, 2009)

Hiya girls.  I am looking for some welsh online buddies to chat with.  I am feeling really low at the moment I just feel like I am wasting my time.  I have had 4 IUI's and 1 IVF but all BFN   .  I am currently waiting for my 2nd NHS IVF with LWC Swansea but I have to lose another stone to be accepted.  I have PCOS and been trying for 10 years.  

I just feel like I am the only person in the world going through and its so lonely sometimes.  I know I'm not but when everyone around me seems to be get pgs at the drop of a hat its hard not to feel isolated.  My family and sisters are really good but I dont think they completely understand how uncomfortable I feel when we have family get togethers and I get those stupid insensitive people with their stupid questions.  I just feel like a freak sometime, my friend all have children and I feel out of the loop most of the time especially when they are having their little tea party's for the kids etc. 

OMG no wonder I am almost friendless I sound like a right whinger lol.  Honestly I never used to be like this I used to know how to enjoy myself and have a right laugh before this process took over my life completely!!! 

Sorry I hope I havent bored u all to tears xxx


----------



## serenmai29 (Dec 4, 2010)

Hey Emma I couldn't read and run.  Just to say I'm a patient at lwc Swansea and recently got my bfp.  I know what you mean about people not getting it.  People do try to understand but I don't think they ever quite understand the crazy rolleroaster ride that any form of fertility treatment takes us on.

I really just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and if u want a chat I'm around.  I'm a little addicted to this site now


----------



## EmmaLily (Sep 8, 2009)

Hiya Seren thank u for replying hun it means a lot.  Also congratulations thats brilliant news!!! 

I am just feeling so low at the moment I just cant seem to snap out of it.  I just feel like I am pineing for something that might never happen, if u know what I mean.  My life always seems to be on hold whilst everyone else seems to be moving on with their lives and are in control of their lives.  I hope I snap out of it soon cos I am doing my own head in now lol

thank u again xxx


----------



## serenmai29 (Dec 4, 2010)

I do understand what you mean.  It is so hard when the thing you want seems so far away.  I felt quite negative and down like this in the past and two things helped me Accupuncture and Paul mckennas book I can give you confidence.  In this book there is a self hypnosis cd and it really helped.  I don't know if it will help you but it might be worth a try xxxx


----------



## Emnige (Apr 11, 2011)

EmmaLily said:


> Hiya Seren thank u for replying hun it means a lot. Also congratulations thats brilliant news!!!
> 
> I am just feeling so low at the moment I just cant seem to snap out of it. I just feel like I am pineing for something that might never happen, if u know what I mean. My life always seems to be on hold whilst everyone else seems to be moving on with their lives and are in control of their lives. I hope I snap out of it soon cos I am doing my own head in now lol
> 
> thank u again xxx


Hi EmmaLily,

I read your post & just wanted to say that you are not alone.

I've been TTC for over 3 years & it is frustrating because as you say everyone around seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat whereas it's struggle for me.

I envy them & also pine for what they have.

It's important to try to remain upbeat & rather than envy them, just think about how lucky they are and remember that hopefully one day soon that could be you.

You never know see the people you envy may have experienced the same or similar things and may have also been down the ivf path.

Try to keep postive and feel free to chat with me anytime xxx


----------



## Helen85 (Feb 12, 2011)

Hi Emma lily,

Ur not alone  I know exactly how u feel. I really don't think anyone can really understand the pain and frustration of infertility useless u have gone through it first hand!!

Me and my partner were the first out of our friends to try for a baby and we are the only ones left !! Makes me so mad most of them completely take there suitation fir granted , have terrible relationships to bring a child in to or they are seperated , but they can get pregnant at a drop of a hat and we have to struggle through Ivf with the thought we may never have a child   the world is very strange and cruel place!

Sending u lots of love and baby hopes 
Helen xxxx


----------



## EmmaLily (Sep 8, 2009)

Thank u Helen, u have made me feel a lot less alone.  we are in the same situation we were one of the firsts to try and the only ones left.  What breaks my heart the most is looking at my hubby and most of my friend bfs and seeing the bfs not even interested in their kids (more interested in going to the pub) and I know my hubby would make an absolutely amazing father one of those that would be there for everything.  Wanting to spend all his time with them.  He would be a real hands on dad and it just breaks ur heart.  What keeps me going is just thinking if it ever works I will treasure being a mam every single second of the day.  I think in the long run it will make us better parents cos we have worked so hard to get where we want to.  

Thank u Hel once again. I pray ur dreams come true for u too xxx


----------



## Helen85 (Feb 12, 2011)

Hi,

No probs sweetheart  I know how lonely it can get worrying about everything. My partner tries to make me not stress out about it all cause it doesnt help , but theres no way it's all I think about really! 

Your so right about it making us better parents , don't think I will ever take a second for granted when  I'm finally blessed with a child  

Anytime u need to have a rant or need someone to talk to drop us a message k 

Xxxxx


----------



## Helen85 (Feb 12, 2011)

Hi Emma lily , 

Forgot to ask in my last post , how long have you got to wait for ur second nhs shot?? Really hope it's not a long wait for you. 
I think all the bloody waiting we have to do going through all this I'd the biggest frustration  not a fan of the nhs I will admit  they are so bloody slow !! Xxx


----------



## tonia vel (Jan 8, 2011)

good afternoon 

im on clomid 3rd cycle and been ttc for 3 yrs know its hard wen u see others pg im having treatment at ivf wales but on the waiting list for iui/ivf but been told i will not been seen about this til early 2012 but fingers crossed clomid will work before then


----------

