# 4th Negative cycle..what next



## Bunjy (Jan 25, 2007)

HI All
I've not been on here for a while...just watching my profile getting longer and sadder.
Today is my birthday and my 4th BFN via the Lister.
I guess, as most of you will be familiar with, I'm experiencing the negativity, loss, sadness and despair that comes with yet another BFN. I really truly thought it may have worked this time. I had all the in depth tests, a changed protocol etc and just had more hope. Yet this morning I got the same result...
I was on the short cetrotide protocol, 375 gonal f, then steroids, gestone and clexane..had 5 eggs, 3 embryos, 2 were ok at grade 2 to go back in.
I know its so soon to be thinkin like this but I don't know what to do next...do I just go for donor eggs, if so who with, how do you do all that, do I stay with Dr Wren at the Lister. I've had initial consults ARGC, UCH, Guys and been with Chelsfield before. Just don't know. How much of life do we spend trying - we want a family so badly. I know you will be able to relate to this - maybe you have views/advice/ guidance - even a suggestion. Anything would be useful. I am a poor responder even though i was pregnant 4 times in one year - 3 of which were ectopics.
I would be grateful for any feedback, got a day on my own at home - husband at work to think about all this...again x


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## Miki D (Mar 3, 2009)

Oh Bunjy, I'm so so sorry   and Happy Birthday, so cruel for this to happen today.

You have obviously been through so much, I think you must be a fantastic & incredibly strong person.

I've just had my 2nd bfn this morning, I know I haven't been through everything you have but I do know how you're feeling right now. Nothing anyone can say will make it better, hopefully that will happen with time.

If someone could just say...'it will happen one day', all this pain would go away.

I think I may be a poor responder too, I never get that many eggs, is that what a poor responder is?   

Sorry I can't give any advice, just wanted you to know that you aren't alone with this   

Miki
x


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## Bunjy (Jan 25, 2007)

Hi Miki
I'm sorry for your news too - doesn't get easier eh. In general, yes to not have many eggs means you are a poor responder but you may have good quality eggs and you only need one so to speak - so don't let it get you down. If you haven't done so - have a think about maybe getting some tests done like natural killer cells / karotypes etc can't remember the names - but it is good to know if there may be other stuff going on. Thats why I was on steroids this time as my results showed that maybe my body was rejecting the embryo - who knows eh. I have found throughout all this that to shop around just for opinions can be useful. It means paying more but each doctor has different views and expertise. it may be helpful to get views and then decide how to progress. I ended up at the lister as they are known to treat poor responders whereas some clinics cherry pick the women who are likely to be successful for their stats. I stayed with my local hospital 3 times as they were so friendly and accommodating - but they were a small unit that did not have the numbers of women coming through with my sort of history - and I always wondered if that effected my treatment. The lister didn't bat an eyelid at my previsou results and were willing to tweak things - lets just hope they can tweak more next time eh xx take care and have a birthday wine with me virtually !!! god knows I have given so much up for this !


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## Miki D (Mar 3, 2009)

Hi Bunjy,

Thanks so much for the advice. I feel a bit better knowing there's maybe something I can do, all too often it feels like it's all out of our hands doesn't it?

I'm having treatment on the NHS at St Marys in Manchester, they're shut at the moment so I had treatment privately at Care this time. I'm very lucky and can have 3 NHS funded cycles, it's so so unfair that not everyone gets this. I'll be going private if this last one doesn't work though.

I really feel like a number and not a person sometimes being NHS, not complaining though, I know I'm lucky. I realise there are maybe much much better private clinics out there, will do some research.

Thanks again and I think we should have a few virtual glasses of birthday wine!! I know I'll definitely be having some real ones tonight  

Really hope your pain eases today and you can begin to have a better birthday with your dh later.

I'm off to have a proper cup of tea, sick of having de-caff!


Miki
x


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