# 4 yr old who won't (and never has) settled to sleep - help - at breaking point!



## Imogen (Jul 18, 2003)

Hi,

Have been on before, (I think?!)

I have a 4 1/3 yr old who was always cuddled to sleep due to very severe reflux (often held all night as vomited otherwise) and this has left us with a legacy of sleep probs.  He will not  / cannot settle himself or stay in his room and gets extremely distressed and quite violent with me (as do I - not violent obviously but distressed when it is midnight and he has woken the baby again....).  

I feel sorry for him but I also have completely had enough now and need to get some help.  My 16m old is a prob sleeper too - also reflux also cuddled to sleep - she ends up in bed with me every night, otherwise she wakes big bro' and then all hell breaks loose.

My HV is a living nightmare (so is her boss...) so no help there.

Anyone had any help via nhs re sleep counsellors / clinics etc and could share experiences

Would be very grateful - had to leave room so didn't strangle him tonight (NOT literally!) - but him hysterical upstairs and me sobbing downstairs is not good.    

I can't go down the 'controlled crying' route with baby - just can't stomach it - and can't with 4 year old as he smashes his room up, so that's not an option.  

What to do?

Imogen.x.


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## Imogen (Jul 18, 2003)

bump.

HELP!!!


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## *looby* (Jun 14, 2004)

Huge huge    coming your way

I cant help with help Via the NHS although they do now run a sleep clininc in my area

I did use The sleep lady http://thesleeplady.co.uk/default.aspx
and found it to be worth every penny

Linda is so supportive throughout the whole time and it was hugely beneficial for all of us

Good Luck

xxxx

Sorry Jeanette - thought i'd posted in Parents place to chat


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## jeanette (May 3, 2003)

Hiya Imogen

Most PCTs do have sleep clinics and Im wondering if this is your best option.

How is your ds at school? Have the teachers made any comments about him?

Would you feel able to do a sleep dairy? (2 days if possible).

There are a number of issues that I have picked up from your poist, so please correct me if I have misinterpreted what you have written:

1) Temper tantrums with 4 yr old

2) Difficulty getting ds to sleep

3) DS waking up in the night and cant ''self settle''

4) You are emotionally and physically drained

5) DD difficult to get to sleep plus wakes up

As you can see, you have an awful lot going on. Any one of those things is enough to make a mum feel as you are.

So, are you having support? How are you feeling besides how you are when ds is having tantrums/voilent? Do you find yourself coping better on some days compared to others?

So, try and start a sleep diary, have a look at the link that looby has given you and contact your PCT to see where their sleep clinics are.

Stay in touch.

Jeanettexx


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