# Deboullas story



## deboulla (May 15, 2009)

Hello Ladies,
I have been lurking on FF for a long time; in fact I was 'Maddie' in 2002 on the IVF Board, if anyone is still around from 8 years ago!
As you can see, I have had many failed treatments and we finally decided enough is enough, last June after IVF number 6 failed. 
We decided to adopt rather than continue with more IVF, and once we had made the decision we felt great, like a huge weight had been lifted from our shoulders. Things are a little different here in Cyprus, the general process is the same as the UK, although things are not quite as 'thorough' and there don't seem to be any hard and fast rules about waiting a certain time after treatment etc. There is also no homework - we have not had to write ANYTHING  .
We had our last BFN at the end of May 2009, and on June 9th we wrote a letter to the authorities, telling them we wanted to adopt. At the start things moved fast. By middle of July we had been to the office and met our Social Worker (there is only one here that deals with adoption) and spent an hour and a half chatting to her about why we wanted to adopt etc. Luckily we seemed to hit it off instantly, even though my Greek is nowhere near fluent and her English is not good. We managed with my hubby explaining anything I did not understand but am sure other Social Workers may have made an issue about the language problem. 
Anyhow, we had about 6 long meetings with her in total and she also spent an hour with my parents when they visited and an hour with my in laws. One meeting was at our house, where she didn't even look round and they are soooo not interested in safety/child proofing - she said nobody would have done a safety check had I got pg with IVF, so why should they?  
She has never asked when we did our last IVF, but we did talk about IVF/MC at one meeting and she seemed satisfied that we have accepted we will not have a biological child. 
We have had to get police checks done, which are easy here. You just go to the police station and they check their computers for any offences and they print out a certificate! Medicals are simple - blood pressure, chest x ray, and the usual HIV/HEP/SYPH etc. All in all a pretty simple procedure, but sooooooo slow and frustrating!
Early May this year, she told us we were finished with the meetings and that she had everything she needed to get us approved. She only needed to write her report which would strongly recommend we were approved, which would then be sent to the Head Office for final official approval, we do not attend any 'panels'&#8230;&#8230;&#8230; she hoped we would be approved by 'Summer'&#8230;&#8230; We called in to see her at the end of June to see what was happening and she told us lots of extra work including research had been dumped on her by her superiors and she had been told all adoption work should be put on the back burner! She hasn't even done the report yet  , it's just so frustrating. It's now August and the office is closing for the holidays, so looks like we will have to wait until Sept&#8230;&#8230;..
It's hard to keep chasing her, because I know she's on our side - and in this country she has the power to make our life difficult so we don't want to nag her too much but on the other hand this is important to us!
Once we do get approved, we have another long wait to find our children. There are no children here for adoption so we have to look abroad - think we have finally decided on Poland after months of research. I spoke to a lady at the adoption office in Poland who told me most couples are home with their children within 12 months of receiving the application, so fingers crossed sometime next year we will be a family of 4&#8230;.. or even 5  .
Now I am patiently trying to keep busy and save money to pay for the adoption. I am putting together a book about our life here in Cyprus, including photos of our village, our house, our families etc etc to send to Poland and also starting to learn a bit of Polish which is not easy!!
Wow, that's a bit long  I only meant to say Hi and I look forward to reading your stories and sharing in all your good news and happiness.
Deboulla


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## Boggy (Dec 13, 2006)

Welcome to the Adoption & Fostering board.   


Sounds like things are quite different where you live.  Thanks for sharing your story - hope you are able to make some progress soon.   


Bx


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