# Looking to Start or Going Through Adoption Part 7 2006



## KarenM

I'll update the posters page later this week but here's a new home for you to chit chat...

Karen x


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## Mummyof2

Thanks for the new home Karen.

Tracey - great news     

No news here from us.

Bye for now


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## jan welshy

Thanks for new thread Karen.
Still no news from us following adoption people saying course was set in JaNUARY, GONE back to no course set for sure.................. Oh well, good thingas come to those who wait.
Love
WelshyXXXXXXXXX


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## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Thanks for the new home Karen.
No news from us either, just waiting for the confirmed dates for Jan/Feb so I can book the time off.  New job is going well but very busy and the kitchen is coming along nicely.
Love
OT x


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## fiona1

Thanks Karen,

No news here, SW coming out on Tues, but that's about it.

Fiona


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## jilldill

Thanks Karen,
Looking forward to seeing the revised list of where we are all up to there has been so much good news over the last couple of months!
Love JD x


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## LB

Congratulations Tracey - great news - Happy New Year  

hi to everyone else

LB
X


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## sanita

Well we have had the letter from the agency decision maker confirming that we are approved, so finally I can relax and   .  We are a bit further forward in relation to what DHs sons said.  The 'issues' they raised were not in relation to their childhood, but in relation to a fall out that the eldest had with his dad when he was 22.  Some angry words were exchanged and they didn't speak for a few weeks.  The fallout came about as eldest was at uni and was constantly pestering for money, but didn't even have a part time job.  Eldest told our SW that was an example of DH being unsupportive.  Eldest also told SW he is concerned about his inheritance and having to share it with our adopted children   .  We have updated our SW with what we have discussed with dhs sons and she will come back to us next week when she has met with her supervisor and we will see where we go from here.  In the meantime she is referring us to the adoption register and says she will support us if we see any children in CWW or BMP   .  So let the search for our children begin   .


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## rianna

Hi Sanita,

You must feel better now that you have got your approval on paper, and now that you know what the 'issues' are.  At least you can defend yourselves properly now.  Really understand where you are coming from in all of this.  You will be great parents.  Wishing you lots of luck.

Love Rianna.


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## naoise

Hi there

Nothing to report here feeling a bit low today, probably because I was hoping our sw would ring and she hasn't, I am really going to have to settle myself to the reality that I won't hear anything until after Christmas.

Hi to everybody

LOL K


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## maria21

hi everyone 
i know how you feel noaise the waiting is not nice but it will be worth it in the end when you get your little boy or girl
well no news from me either finished my prep course wont be after the new year till i hear from social work regarding my home study 
i suppose all good things come to those who wait but the waiting is so hard ......just cant wait to be a mummy 
good luck to everyone 
love maria xxx


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## TraceyH

Hi All

Sanita - Congratulations on being approved and having it confirmed in black and white.  It sounds as if the issues with DH's son will pass over and your SW is obviously being supportive.

Naoise - Hang in there.  It took us a year almost to the day to be matched.  We (more me) were thinking of jacking it all in less than 3 weeks ago.  I have spent the last year hoping that the SW will ring and finally she did and we meet our little boy in January.

From this end, no more news about littley, we have asked for a picture of him for Christmas and we have a provisional date for the Information Sharing meeting for either the 8th or 15th Jan 07.

Good Luck to everyone else.

Tracey

Tracey


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## naoise

Thanks girls

Sorry for being a moan I have nothing to complain about, we have only been passed a couple of months.

Tracey congratulations on being matched all the very best with everything.

LOL K


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## Ange K

Hi girls!

Sanita - congratulations on being approved - it must be good to see it on paper!

Jill - how's Sunshine doing?! Is she settling in ok?

Magenta – hope you’re having lots of fun with Bubbles!

Latest news from us is that our November panel was cancelled so we're going to the December panel on the 19th. Our SW came round today to show us our Form F so all I've got left to do now is get the family book finished off - very excited!!

Hi to everyone else!

Ange x


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## Viva

Hi everyone, 
This is unfortunately going to be a short post and really just an update on what we're up...as work has been crazy recently and I really need to see a bit of DH this evening! We had our first meeting yesterday with our SW for our home study and handed over our application forms, so we're officially started! Hoping for panel in May,  we also have our prep course next week, it feels soooo good to be started! 
It's great going on here and seeing all the news of the new matches, hopfully will get time soon to do a few personals.
Anyway must go and get in the bath DH has just run for me.
Love Viva
XXX


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## Barbarella

Hi Everyone

Sorry I've not been around much, but dh and I have been like passing ships in the night lately and work has been so manic.  Still, it's all over.  Left work yesterday to become a SAHM.  Can't stop  .  Delighted with my first ever presentation of baby presents at work - everyone is so excited for us, and I have never known such kindness of spirit in work and out.  I have been on another website for many years and they all did a collection for me too, and we have had no end of presents from people on that website coming through the door.  I really am overwhelmed by it and touched by how people are so excited by our journey- it's very very special.  I'm not sure if I mentioned before but my family and friends threw me a baby shower a few weeks ago as well (sorry if I'm repeating myself).  I couldn't be happier... this journey has given us so much joy - and all that is about to magnify a million times.

Yesterday, we got the agency ratification, so there is nothing between us and Bea at last.  We meet her on Monday at 1.30pm.  We are both beside ourselves with excitement. I have been talking closely with Jilldill for the past few weeks and have been drinking in the information she's been giving me.  Am so thrilled for you Jill... and can't wait to be in the same position as you. We have both been waiting for 9 years and that is such a long time.  For me it is a dim and distant memory, but as you said, it will never be forgotten.

Last night dh and I went out on our last night out as a couple.  We had a lovely meal and bottle of champers, as we realised in all the madness we had not stopped to celebrate with each other.  It was fantastic. Went for a few drinks afterwards and have my last hangover for quite a while (I won't miss these).  

Anyway, enough about me...

Sanita - I cannot believe what they have put you through for what sounds to me a totally normal situation.  For goodness sake - who of us haven't fallen out with our parents at some stage?  I am so glad everything is confirmed though, and the search for your baby is on.  Believe me... when it happens, you won't know what's hit you.

Laine - how are you?  Hope yor match arrives very soon. 

Naoise/all those waiting - I truly hope your matches come along very soon.  It WILL happen, keep believing and keep smiling, as hard as that is.

TraceyH - what an exciting new year you are going to have.  Hope they give you a picture soon, our SW's were really reticent but we finally got one and we can't stop looking at it. 

Karen - thanks for the new thread, your work on here is much appreciated.

Magenta - how are things?  Bet you still can't quite believe it's happened.  I know I keep pinching myself at the moment.

Superal - how's things with you?  Have emailed you... get in touch when you get a chance.

Hello to everyone going through the process - it is so worth it in the end - best of luck to you all.

Well, I'll pop in after Monday to let you know how things go with Bea.  I have read so many fantastic stories about intros, but I'm still worried that Bea will be the first baby to not take to me. Babies seem so to love me, probably my big bosoms.. lol.. but I can't help worrying she won't..!!  I've been told it's a natural worry though, so am not dwelling too much on it.  I'm sure it will all be fine, as she is so meant to BEA.... lol... (sorry!).

Love C xx


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## sanita

Barbarella - What a lovely heartwarming post.  I am so pleased for you.  Very best wishes for Monday and do keep us updated on how introductions are going if you have time.  It really helps those of us that are waiting or in the process to hear others positive stories.

Viva - Good luck with prep next week.  We really enjoyed ours and learnt so much.

Ange K - Sorry you missed out on November panel, but not long to wait now.  Hope you have fun doing your family book.  I don't have a creative bone in my body, but I enjoyed doing my family book even though it is very amateurish.

TraceyH - Hope you get a picture of your littley for xmas.  It'll no doubt be your favourite present if you do get one.


We are meeting with our SW next week to discuss DHs 'issues' with his sons.  DH is just about at the end of his tether with it all.  I rang about some children in CWW and the childs SW has been in touch with my SW.  Unfortunately our SW is now saying that until this further work is completed our Form F is not ready to be sent out and probably won't be ready until the New Year.   .  DH is not the only one feeling frustrated.  I thought you were approved or not approved.  I have never heard of "You are approved, but".   Our SW is a lovely lady, who we respect very much, but why was none of this picked up and dealt with before panel?  DHs sons were interviewed nearly 3 months before we went to panel.  I think perhaps we have to let our SW know next week how all of this is making us feel.  I'm sure she has our best interests at heart, but we need her to explain to us what has gone wrong.  It will be 2 weeks since panel before we meet her and I think we need some answers before we can move forward in a positive frame of mind.


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## cindyp

Sanita, how frustrating.  You are right this should have been picked up beforehand and like you I'm confused about the situation with your Form F.  How can they approve you without it being completed?  All I can suggest is hang in there and try to make the most of your last Xmas with just the two of you.

Carole, how exciting less than 48 hours and you finally get to meet Bea.  I bet you won't sleep much between now and then.  I'm sure she will love you, it might not be immediate as I remember being put out that our DS went straight to my DH and ignored me, but it will definitely happen.  LOL at the "big bosoms" description as it also matches me.  Babies normally love me too apart from when the younger ones have found out that there is nothing in mine     Look forward to reading about your intros.

Viva, congratulations on getting started on your journey.

Ange, shame the panel was cancelled but not long until the 19th.  Have fun with your family book.

Tracey, I bet this is one year when you want to get Xmas over and done with so you can make it to Jan to meet your little boy.  Hope you get your photo for Xmas.

Jill, have sent you a PM.

Karen, thanks for finding the time to keep us going, how's the job search?

Andrea, how are your Xmas preperations going?

To all those that are waiting, and that includes me now, we've got to hang in there.  It's hard being patient but reading other stories about intros and babies coming home does remind you that it will happen.

To everyone, I hope you are having a good weekend.

We've had a hard week.  DS has been quite poorly with a virus.  It started last Saturday night with a fever when we were staying at friends and he continued with flu type symptoms.  The doctor has given us some antibiotics which are doing the trick but we've not had much sleep in the last 7 days and I'm feeling my age.  I must admit it's weeks like this that makes the idea of having a second child a little more daunting but we're still determined.  At least it was this week and he is a lot better now as next weekend we are having a romantic weekend on our own at Bolougne Xmas market as my friend has kindly offered to babysit.  Like she says we might not get the opportunity when we have two children  

love to all
Cindy


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## magenta

Sorry no time for personals to everyone - but 'hello'.

barbarella - enjoy your intros. Ours were great and I even remembered to ask all my questions about washing powder/nap times etc - although most were asked on the last day 

JillDill - hope everything is wonderful with your family.

Sanita - if i remember rightly you were approved pending some extra work being done by sw. This is the work she will need to do before your form is ready to send out. it is probably a note just to say that at panel you were asked about x and y and the panel felt that these issues were not relevant. I know I had a bit added about the fact I had continued to lose weight since my medical and was taking 'healthy lifestyle' classes at the surgery to assist this. You *are* definately approved but the panel often want/need bits added to form on issues raised at panel which might be raised at linking or matching stage.

AngeK - wishing you all the best for panel - not long now...

Well Bubbles had her first ever sunday school party today (might even have been her first party ever). She was 'pretty' well behaved - well for her anyway. She hasn't learned the 'sitting quietly' thing so where other children sat in a circle to play games or wait for presents to be distributed, Bubbles decided to play the piano in the corner! but we got loads of photos and revelled in seeing her playing with balloons and enjoy the games.

magenta xx


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## cindyp

Magenta, what a lovely picture of Bubbles.  I think you're hoping though, my DS is 3 pretty soon and he still hasn't mastered the art of sitting quietly unless it's in front of the TV or playing with his cars   

Cindy


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## jilldill

Hi Girls,

Hope everyone is doing ok. Things are just great with Sunshine she has just moved into our lives like she has always been there. we have taken her out a few times and she is just so familiar and at ease with us it's lovely. 
Cindy and Barbarella I have pm'd you. Barbarella Just want to wish you such a happy time during intros you will love it speak later.
Magenta, I loved your story of the party what a great picture you painted of Bubbles!!
Sanita, I am sorry you are still having this worry I hope things calm down soon and you can really enjoy the fact you are approved!!
AngeK, a big good luck from me from panel!!

Hope everyone else is ok whatever stage you are at lots of love JD x


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## ~Twinkle~

Hi girls,

hope you are all well its lovely to read all the wonderful stories it gives you hope.

Barbarella, how exciting it must be a double xmas with all those presents, good luck.

Just a quick question, we are currently waiting for our social worker to contact us to arrange our first visit, we hv had a letter through apologising for the delay and if they don't contact this side of Christmas it will be in the new year. They put it down to the massive open evening they had and lots of responses.

Anyway we find out we have a part time social worker and I'm a little worried it will take longer as she is not full time . Am I being silly or worrying for nothing  I know this is the start and there is a long way to go. Has any of you ladies had a part time social worker? and if yes how did you find he/she.

Any comments appreciated bless you.

Take care
~Twinkle~


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## keemjay

oh barbarella, what a lovely post..you deserve to have been spoiled rotten recently, this has been a loooong time coming. i hope your dreams reach the peak tomorrow at 1.30pm. i will be thinking of you 

kj x


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## jilldill

Hi Barbarella,
I have pm'd you but just to say again have a wonderful day tomorrow meeting your baby girl it's just the best news!!!!!
Love JD xx


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## cindyp

C, have a lovely day with Bea tomorrow.   

love
Cindy


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## rianna

Hi,  Just popping on to wish Barbarella lots of luck with meeting Bea tomorrow.  Really excited to hear your news.

Love Rianna.


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## ♥ M J ♥

hi ladies

can i pls join you

i emailed 2 LA's last night and one has emailed me back asking for my number so a duty social worker can ring me- im scared! 

my dh and i have always been open to adoption however we needed to go through tx for our own peace of mind and to lay things to rest however now we are going to go down the adoption route to hopefully achive our dream

i look forward to getting to know you all better and shall be asking lots of questions

hugs

Mez
xx


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi all,

have a great day Barb....i was a nervous wreck the first day I met Boo.....but it was so wonderful i don't think I'll ever forget it!

Welcome Mez....it is scary when you first start on this journey, but on the whole SWs are lovely so just be yourself. Might be good to keep your options open as to how many/what age children you would like to adopt at this stage too, and they often try to put off people off with fixed ideas. good luck with it all.

not a lot of news from us. our SWs, having got a delay on our court date are now trying to cram all the home visits in to the next 2 weeks. these are obviously the visits they wre supposed to be doing all along! It wouldn't be so bad except its DH's busiest time at work so finding free time for us all to be at home is proving dificult! Oh well, at least the end is in sight......till next time!

xxruthie


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## wynnster

C - Thinking of you   Have a Great Day 

Love to you all x


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## Pooh bears mummy

wow Barbarella,

Just poped on whilst at work and just read that you will be meating your daughter right now!!!

I am sure this will be one off the best days of your life, and the start of many more to come.

Enjoy every minute.

PBMxxxx


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## Laine

Hi everyone,

C - thinking of you heaps xx

Mez - welcome! tons of luck for your new journey.

Hi to everyone else.

Laine


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## ~Twinkle~

Hi girls,

has anyone had a part time SW? and if yes how do you find he/she?

I really would appreciate any feedback.


thanks
~Twinkle~


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## Lauren

Hi everyone,

Just popping on to say a big hi to everyone!  And can't believe how much wonderful happy news is on here at the moment!  Its so great to read it all and for those of you who are in the early stages it must really give you the motivation to get through some of the harder aspects of adoption like the waiting.  I know it was a great help to me when we first started out.

Well Daisy continues to do so well.  We love her so very much and I could never even begin to imagine life without her now.  We have our 2nd review next Monday and hope to be given the go ahead to submit our papers to Court.  We hope to get a Court date either January or February.  In the meantime I am sooooo excited about Christmas for the first time in about 4 years!  The last few years I've just wanted to crawl into a hole and pretend it wasn't happening but this year I am going crazy!  Daisy is definately going to be a little bit spoilt but only cos she is too young to realise!  Then on 16th January me, dh and Daisy are going on our first family holiday, off to Tenerife for a week!  Very excited but also a bit apprehensive!

Lots of love to everyone.

Lauren xxx


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## naoise

Twinkle we have a part time sw and we have had no problems with her other than the fact that she always seems to be on a holiday. I think that the fact that she is part time must mean that she must only be able to take on a small amount of work. We found that we went through the whole process as quickly as anyone else.

Lauren glad to hear that Daisy and family are well. Enjoy your holiday together I am soo jealous.

Mez welcome to our lovely group congratutions on taking the first steps towards adoption I wish you all the best.

We have no news just getting ready for Xmas we put our tree up last night and am feeling excited about Christmas. Sorry did I say we put the tree up I meant me we always have an argument if we do it together.   

LOL K


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## ~Twinkle~

Ahhhhhhhh,

thx naoise for getting back to me bless you, Im hoping this site will be helpful on my journey and its people like you who give me the support, and it means alot to me. Also thanks to the other girls for the support so far.  

thank you   

God you are good putting your tree up mines still in the loft!  wrapped 3 presents so far and have lots more to do.
Silly me orders dh a office chair as he works from home anyways I go and leave the argos box in the hall thinking he will not know what it is then as Im going down the stairs and there is a picture on the side of what's in the box dehhhhh spoilt that one, silly argos .

Lauren looks like you will be having lots of fun with daisy all those extra presents this year for santa to deliver .
Barbarella - hope all your dreams came true to day.

Take care and look forward to chatting to you all soon.

Luv
~Twinkle~ ^


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## rianna

Hi Twinkle,

We have a part time social worker, and although we have had quite a long wait, I sincerely don't think this is down to our social worker being part time, and we did go through the process as quickly as everyone else.  I think it is like Naoise says, when they work part time, they take on a smaller workload and are able to concentrate on you as much as a full time social worker with a heavier workload.

Wishing you all the luck in the world with the process.

Love Rianna


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## Mummyof2

Twinkle - we had a part time sw at our first LA and it was very difficult to get hold of her as she was always on leave or at meetings or out of the office.  We swapped LA after a few months as we didn't feel we were getting the service we deserved.  Annoying about dh's present being spoilt.  We haven't got our tree out the attic yet either and I haven't wrapped a single present yet.  Am toying with the idea of writing my cards today though.

Barb - just read your description of first meeting    How lucky are you (and Bea).  Sounding great.

No news here.  Close friend just gave birth and had hoped we would both have a little one together.  Painful buying her a card and present.

All the best


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## fiona1

Jennifer - Keep your chin up, i know only too well before we had our DS the pain when others around me gave birth. It will be your time soon.

Our SW has just left, 1st visit over. We are going to panel on the 30th April and have 8 home visits booked (one a week)

Lots of homework to do before next week.

Fiona


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## ♥ M J ♥

thanks ladies for the warm welcomes

i think at the mo we feel a Little scared and overwhelmed at the thought of the process involved however when we see what the end results are its so worth it, both my dh feel like a weight has been lifted and my dh has been on here reading some of the info about adoption

hugs

xxx


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## Viva

Hi All, 
Quick post from me as I'm on my break at work...
Welcome Mez, the process does seem overwhelming at first, but you'll get loads of information and time to ask questions.

Fiona, good to hear you first meeting went well, we had ours last week (and prep course this week, as they do this during your home study at our LA), we are hopefully going to panel in May.

Jennifer, I so understand where you are coming from, I feel like I torture myself like this everytime someone close to me has a baby, my youngest sister is pregnant with her first and due in March and she was saying how lovely it would be if we got matched with a similar aged child in a few months, I didn't like to say that that may be being a little optimistic!

Twinkle, we too have a part time social worker and so far no concerns, in fact she seems very reliable and organised!

Ruthiebabe, I hope your delays get sorted out soon...

Hi to everyone else.
Love Viva
XXX


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## casey

Hi ladies 
I posted a few weeks ago after we had our 1st initial visit and confirmed our interest in adoption - the LA we have approached only assesses those it can match and they call it prioritisation - anyway we have been accepted for prioritisation and will attend prep course in jan/feb and have been allocated a s/w for home study - so v v excited     

twinkle - i am a part time s/w and havea p/t caselead to match my hours 

MJ - i am scared too     but reading these boards for the past few months has really helped me and dh to think postively about adoption and what we can give to a child and also what we will recieve in return

bye for now - hopefully will be posting more as i will have lots of news  
caseyxxx


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi Ladies,

lovely to have so many new people on here now.....its amazing how quickly the feeling of relief comes on once the decision to adopt is made. The process is daunting, but sooooo worth it!

we got some lovely feedback today. Our SW is reinterviewing our referees for the court stuff, and they spoke to my brother today and she said to him how she thinks Boo is so much happer and settled here with us, and wha a great job she thinks we've done. It was so nice to hear, not that we have any doubts about our little fmaily. But you're never quite sure you're doing a good enough job.

that's all......nice to write a less whingy msg on here for a change!

xxxruthie


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## KarenM

Hi Everyone

Viva - congratulations on getting started with the process

Barbarella - have posted you on your thread about Bea - so pleased for you

Sanita - can't believe the further delays you are having.  Hope the Sw gets things sorted soon

Cindy - sorry to hear XXXXX has been poorly.  Hope you have a good trip to France and that the New year brings you your dream of a sibling

Maggie - lovely image of Bubbles at her first party.  

Jill - hope the sun is still shining in your house!!

Twinkle - don't worry we had a part time SW and she was brilliant.  Hope you hear something this side of Xmas.

Mez - a big welcome to you hunny - don't worry you are in good company.  Don't panic the Sw's will just want to take some details and talk to you about the process.

Ruth - sorry to hear that SS have messed up on the court date.  It will still be just as special confirming Boo as yours.  Lovely comments by your SW

Lauren - have a great first family holiday

Fiona - glad you visits are going well and great news about April

Jennifer - I really hope they find a match for you soon.  

Casey - great news on your "prioritisation"

I'm in a mad flap at the moment trying to get things sorted for Xmas as plans have had to change with Mum and Dad not being able to travel to Florida to meet up with my sister.  Mum is going great guns though and should be able to have her colostomy bag reversed in the New Year.  Can't wait to wave goodbye to 2006.

We are having a great time with the kids at the moment with the magic of Xmas.  They have their nativity and Xmas party next week and then we are taking them on Thomas the Tank for a journey to see Father Xmas.  They have just had their nursery photo's last week (so wish I could share them with you).

I am waiting to hear about a job interview I have been for, really want the job, so fingers crossed.  Looking forward to a bit of a break from work over Xmas.  Anyway have some work to do now and need to book my tesco delivery (as usual!!).  DH has said I can look to have a cleaner as I am getting so frustrated about the state of the house.  Just wish there was 36 hours in the day!!

TTFN
Karen x


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## ♥ M J ♥

Hi ladies

Karen-thanks for the welcomes- sounds like ur very busy however enjoying it all doing "mummy" things- cant believe your girls have been with you 2yrs now

I got a call from the SW today and she was lovely - she was very open about our choices and advised us how we are able to "pick" who we apply to , she took some notes about what i told her and is sending us a info pack and form to fill in if we choose to go with them, she advised that the aim to have you to panel in under 9months , so just waiting for paperwork and to 100% decide if going with them(95% sure so far) and then have a meeting with them in jan to start the process!

this feels so right for us, tonight i watched "a child against all odds" as the first 2 progs i sobbed and sobbed however this weeks i felt for them as i know how hard tx is however didnt shed a tear in self pity for us.

i look forward to getting to know you all 

hugs

Mez
xxx


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## casey

Hi again 
well more news - our s/w has arranged 1st visit for 20/12 and will be sorting out dates for home study - can't believe its all starting now - we have asked to be assessed for a sibling group of 2 children 0-5 

thanks for the good wishes Karen - i wonder if our LA does things differently to other LA's - we ( & other couples) applied and we were invited to an info day and then later confirmed our interest - our la said it would not assess all the couples only those it thought it could match and these couples would be prioritised for assessment - is this the procedure for other la's too ?? 

also do you think the s/w will want to speak to my mum and dad ? dh's parents are very supportive of our plan - but my mum can be very difficult and TBH i don't even know if she's speakinmg to me - she ignored dd's birthday last week no idea why as yet 

anyway enough rambling got to go to work
love vaseyxx


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## jilldill

Hi Casey,
Just wanted to say no they wouldn't speak to your Mum if she was not a referee, hope that helps.
Good luck with your journey love JD x


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## Mummyof2

Hi everyone,

Fiona and Viva - thanks for your supportive comments - much appreciated.

Ruthie - how lovely to get such nice feedback.  Well done.

Karen - great to hear from you.  Sounds like you are really busy as usual.  Wonderful news that your mum is "going great guns". We went on Thomas the Tank train to see Father Xmas a few years back and it was great.  Good luck with the job and sending you lots of vibes that you get it.

Mez - I watched "a child against all odds" and sobbed along with it as I felt so much for those women, having been there myself.  Even dh came and watched with me and he usually doesn't like those sorts of programmes.  Glad that things are moving along for you on the adoption front.

Casey - well done on getting things moving.  We were told by our sw that both sets of parents are always interviewed but then ours weren't!  I did put my mum down as referee and she was interviewed under that capacity.

Well, as for me - I have news   As you may remember, I hadn't heard anything re adoption since May when we were passed at panel but I sent a chase up email to my sw yesterday and she forwarded it on to the family finder team.  They sent me an email saying that we are top of the allocation list now and they have 3 boy toddlers coming through the system shortly.  We have been asked to come along to meet the family finder team tomorrow night at an event so they can get more of an idea which child might suit us best so fingers crossed that things are finally moving for us 

Will keep you updated!


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## BunBun

Casey - we did not have either sets of parents down as referees but our sw still decided to interview them.
Jennifer - good luck for tomorrow night.


----------



## jilldill

Jennifer what great news, I can't wait to hear how the meeting goes good luck!!!
Love JD x


----------



## KarenM

Jennifer

I have pm'd you.  Good luck, let us know how you get on

Karen x


----------



## Barbarella

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for the mentions, and lovely good wishes.  I have updated the Bea thread, am really sorry I have no time for personals at the moment.  As yuo can imagine, just a bit manic here at the moment...    

Welcome to the lovely newbies.

Love C xx


----------



## casey

Thanks for the replies everybody, I guess i will just have to leave it up to the s/w but what mood my mum will be in on any particular day is anybodys guess - you'd think that doing my job I'd be a bit clued up but i dont work in adoption and fostering so i know i will be very reliant on all those 'wearing the T-shirt' on this thread for advice. 

jennifer -your news and the meeting sounds very promising - really hope you get some good news ASAP  good luck for tomorrow

mez - i can't watch a child against all odds - but i think its because i have become too cynical and I get quite angry about what individuals and couples have to go thru - and i dont think these programmes ever show the full emotional and financial cost of fertility tx 

sorry i'll get off my soapbox - oohh hurry up the 20th 14 sleeps to go   - really really want to get started now and see what we have to do for this new dream to come true bye for now 
love casey


----------



## cindyp

Jennifer, it's great to read something positive happening.  Fingers crossed for you to get some good news.  Keep us posted.

Casey, my DH hasn't spoken to his Mum in two years following a falling out but he explained things to them and they were happy not to interview her.  Good luck on your journey.

Cindy


----------



## Mummyof2

Thanks for all the best wishes girls.  Will let you know how I get on tonight, tomorrow.


----------



## Laine

Jennifer,

Hope everything goes ok tonight for you.

Laine xx


----------



## sanita

Morning everyone

I'm still following Barbarellas introductions with Bea on the other message, as are so many others.  I got DH to read Barbarellas description of their first meeting with Bea and DH had a little tear in his eye too.  

Welcome Mez, Casey and MJ to the gang.

Lauren, Wishing you and Daisy a wonderful 1st Christmas together and then a week in Tenerife!  You lucky things.  Enjoy it all.

JenniferF, Hope last night went well with the Family Finder team.  Look forward to hearing how you got on.

Fiona - Good luck with the homework.  We found it time consuming, but we did learn a lot.

Karen - Hope you got your job and a cleaner.  Great news about your mum too.

We had a short meeting with our SW this week to further discuss DHs relationship with his sons.  We have now been able to put our point across and negate much of what DHs sons said.  In my opinion they had one vaild critisism of DH as a father, which DH and I have already discussed and DH knows he will not do that with our children.  The rest of what they said is a combination of jealousy about us adopting, concern over their inheritance and the fact that they were quite young when DH left the family home and don't remember what he was like as a live in father.  So hopefully our Form F will soon be updated and we can move forward.  The last few weeks have been such a rollercoaster emotionally, but we are going away this weekend and looking forward to some long walks in the countryside with our dog.

Hope you all have a nice weekend.


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi Everyone,

We enjoyed last night as it was very informative (it was a public event on the support given after adoption).  We met 2 of the family finder team (both of whom we had met before but not for a while).  They have got 12 children waiting to be placed - 3 are under 3 - all boys.  They have got some couples waiting for girl babies only so we are now next to be placed as we have said either sex.  Two of the boy babies have got issues but one hasn't.  One is very lively and described as a handful, one is very quiet and laid back and smiley but needs constant pushing to do things for themselves.  We have been told that our Form F will be sent for today from our sw and the family placement team will look at the boy toddlers and compare to our Form F to see if any might be suitable.  We will probably hear something in the New Year but all matching panels are booked until March/April at the moment as they are only held monthly so we won't get a child placed with us until March at the earliest and more likely April or May.  May will be one year since we were approved at panel!!  Why does it all take so long - grrrr.  Oh well, at least things are happening, albeit VERY slowly.


----------



## magenta

jennifer - really excited to hear about the little boys. Got fingers crossed and sending prayers that you will get a good match soon. Don't worry about the matching panel - we were 3 months from hearing about bubbles til panel and it all worked out fine.

Sanita - what a rollercoaster indeed. enjoy your weekend in the country.

Casey - not long now...[bouncy excited icon]

MJ(mez) - welcome and glad your meeting went well - hope you can get started in the new year.

karenM - you are truly 'superwoman'. I am in awe - parties, train journeys, christmas plans, study and job interviews...phew..I am exhaused just re-typing the list!! Hope you have a wonderful Christmas irrespective of what the plans turn out to be.

brabarella - hope intros are continuing to be everything you could dream of

JillDill - how's sunny? hope you are enjoying having family time together
to everyone else - hello.

Wish i had time for a full post but I am supposed to be writing cards whilst bubbles is napping as she keeps grabbing the pen if i do them whilst she is awake.

Everything is really good here except she is poorly again (think her previous cold got worse rather than a new cold) so she is not eating well today and is generally not in good sorts. But it has only been a day so not too worried. Hopefully she will be better soon and back to her chirpy self - kinda missing the whirlwind that is our DD in full play mood. What with teething and colds she hasn't had the best start in her new home but hopefully we'll turn a corner soon. She has settled really well but just has had new teeth and a constant sniffle for a month (though I hear that it is common when teething) .

magenta xx


----------



## Barbarella

sanita said:


> Morning everyone
> 
> I'm still following Barbarellas introductions with Bea on the other message, as are so many others. I got DH to read Barbarellas description of their first meeting with Bea and DH had a little tear in his eye too.


Aww thank you for that Sanita... that's really kind of you. So glad you got the misunderstandings sorted out with dh and his ds. My God, this process is here to try us isn't it.

Jennifer F - really good news about the little boys, hope they can get something done before March/April next year though, that is absolute pants... poor you.

Casey - wishing you the best of luck !! Our SW said she would speak to both sets of parents but didn't have time to... so only chose one as referee.

Hello and lots of luck to everyone else.. sorry again, no time for many personals. Hope you are all well.

I have updated my thread, as things didn't go well yesterday... but today made it all better, so upwards and onwards. Won't go into it again on here.

Love C xx


----------



## Viva

Hi Everyone, 
Another quick one from me as at work, have had a crazy (but good week) last week. Worked 3 12 hour days Monday, Tuesday, Wedneday then adoption prep course Thursday, Friday, which we really enjoyed and then looked after our friends 3 children (6, 4 and 18mths) this weekend, am now back at work for a rest!  

Karen, all the best with your job application, I know all too well what it's like to be stuck in a stressful job you don't enjoy.

Ruthie, Lovely to hear that things are going so well for you and it must be fab to hear feedback like that!

MJ, great to hear that things are getting started.

Casey, I'm sure that things with your mum will NOT stop you adopting, after all SW's are all too aware of the dynamics of families!

Jennifer, great to hear that things are moving for you, I can understand your frustration about the potentially long wait to panel, but I guess that an end is almost in sight?

Sanita, really glad to hear that things are cleared up regarding DH's sons, it must be a real load of your mind!Hopefully things will get moving for you soon.

Magenta, I hope Bubbles is better soon and running around all over the place again!

Hello to everyone else
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## morgana

Hi all

I've posted my news on a new thread which I am sure you have all seen so I won't duplicate it here. I finally have a computer that is working and internet access so will keep you all up to date on what is happening.

Great to hear everyone else's news.

Morgana x


----------



## CAREbear1

OOOhhh there's lots of lovely news on here at the mo. It really heartens me when I read time after time how happy people are even when it isn't a 'biological child'. I guess giving birth is a small small part of being a mummy- its the rest that counts.

Well rang up social services today as I hadn't heard anything. Said they would call back and didn't, so rang again- apologised for pestering, but that it was really important. I know what the post can be like! Anyway. they have received my forms and I can expect a social worker visit after Christmas. Yipeeee! another small step towards becoming a mummy


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Hi Ladies

how you all doing?

we got our forms to send off for them to read through and arrange for a SW to come out in jan to approve us to apply then hope to get on prep course asap(i think ours run them monthly)

Jo kindly sned me out copies of Be my parent however i have read the newest ones and am happy to send them to a new home so pls pm if you want them(sept-dec 06) and i will post them out to you asap (if you pm me topnight i will send them tomorrow as got to go to the PO anyway) free to good home!!!

hugs

Mez
xxxx


----------



## ~Twinkle~

Hi,

hope everyone is well 

Just popped in to say hello to Mez and Carebear and good luck for 2007,Ive also sent off our forms and have had a letter back saying we will be contacted by our social worker in Jan, so here's lots of luck to 
mummies to be in 2007, and a big  to new mums, hope your having lots of fun.

Morgana -  to you sweety.  

take care
~Twinkle~

 if there are any hints and tips while we are waiting we would be gratful to know them...

          HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE


----------



## KarenM

Hi everyone 

Have updated the list so hope I have got everyone where they should be

Karen x


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,
How are you doing Twinkle, Carebear and Mez?
Casey, I hope things are easing up with your Mum it must be hard for you
Jennifer I can't wait to hear more on your news great stuff!!!
Lauren how is your lovely Daisy doing what a Christmas you are in for!
Magenta and Barbarella Christmas will take on a different slant for you this year too enjoy!!!!

All the very best to everyone else at whatever stage you are at
Love JD xx


----------



## fiona1

Thanks Karen

Fiona


----------



## cindyp

Magenta, sorry to hear Bubbles is under the weather.  Unfortunately as I'm sure the other Mums will agree teething and sniffles just go together, particularly at this time of year.  

Jen, that sounds promising, fingers crossed you hear something soon.

Sanita, pleased you were able to clarify matters and hopefully move forward.  Hope you had a nice relaxing weekend.

Welcome to all the newbies   and to all the new Mums, Xmas will be fun this year.  Hope 2007 brings some kiddies to those who are still waiting.

We had a lovely weekend in Boulogne, it felt very strange leaving DS at our friends as it was the first time we had done it.  He cried a bit but was basically OK.  It was good just to have time to ourselves and just to talk.  I don't want to worry anybody who hasn't got kids yet but when you have an energetic toddler you are normally too busy/tired to have long meaningful chats of an evening  

love
Cindy


----------



## BunBun

Thanks for updating the list Karen.
Lovely to see so many matches and wishing you all a very happy christmas with your new families.


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hey ladies

form all sent off(i got it sent recorded then i can see when they get it)

also the BMP papers now gone to a good home- Bunbun will get them posted out asap

hugs

Mez
xxxx


----------



## BunBun

Mez - many thanks for the BMP papers   They will keep dh and me busy over christmas as our homestudy will be completed next week.


----------



## Mummyof2

Cindy - I am still too tired in the evening to do more than veg out in front of the tv and ds is 5 so it doesn't get any better    Glad you had a nice time away.  I always feel bad leaving ds (only done it twice) but it is good for your relationship with dh.

BunBun - hope you don't get your hopes up for a child you see in Be My Parent as I was told that sw don't take any requests seriously from people unless they have been to panel and are already approved adopters.  Give you some idea of the kinds of children looking for a home though, when your turn comes.

Well done on all those sending off papers and being contacted by sw.

Well, after the excitement of last week I have heard nothing further re the little boys coming through the system    But I was told I should hear something more either way in the New Year so just got to be patient .... AGAIN ........  

Ds is a King in his Christmas Play this afternoon and I have got the inlaws coming along.  Not seen them since August so it will be nice to catch up.  I went with my parents to the Christmas Play on Tuesday as it is being held twice this week so that all the parents/relatives can get a chance to see it.  Seeing your child acting on the stage is a very proud moment which I am glad you will all get a chance to have one day soon.

Bye for now.


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi Guys,

just a quick post to pass on this info. The person who ran our parenting course sent us all the website with some advice on how to cope with christmas. its a bit general, but thought it might be useful especially to us with new families??

http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/index.php?id=108

Jennifer....annoying about the waiting! it was nearly 6 months between us hearing about Boo and meeting him. His play is next week, am so looking forward to it! My little shepard!

xxxruthie


----------



## superal

Hi everyone

Not been on the boards for a while due to our computer having to be moved due to the extension we are having built on our hose.  The completion date for the extension was Christmas but that's not looking at all possible, just due to the bad weather we have had, rain, rain and more rain!

Anyway I'm sure it will be great when it's all finished.

We are off on holiday for a week in January, DH has arranged for us all to go to Egypt for  a week to celebrate my 40th birthday, I keep telling him I'm only 21 really, I've just lead a hard life!! 

Lovely to read such good news:-

Congratulations to all the new mummies to be who have been matched with their children.

Jennifer:- A new year, a new start, I'm sure the new year will bring you what you are hoping for! 

Ruthiebabe:- Had a look on the website you listed, lots of good advice on there!  Enjoy your first Christmas with Boo.

Magenta:- lovely to read your story about bubbles, sorry she is under the weather at the moment. What a lovely Christmas you are going to have this year.

Barbarella:- good luck for tomorrow when you bring your DD home for good!

Hi to all the new comers on the board............HI!!

Heres wishing every one a very happy Christmas and a very happy new year, I hope all the people who are waited for their special gifts will receive them in the new year.

For all of those who have had placements this year have a fantastic first Christmas with your children.

For those who have been a mummy for a while, like myself, it's still a very magical time of year in our house and I'm sure it's the same in your house to.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## sanita

Hi Everyone,

Anyone feeling festive yet?  I could barely get my jeans done up this morning, heaven knows what I'll be like by the time Christmas has come and gone.  Good job they have all the low fat / low calorie foods on a BOGOF in January.

Karen - Thanks for updating the list.  I am so chuffed to see my name in the approved adopters section.

Andrea - Egypt for your 40th.  How lovely.  I shall be 40 next summer.  We haven't planned anything yet as a lot will depend on whether we have kids by then.  If we are still childless I fancy Vegas.  If we have kids I will be more than happy with a trip to the local pizza hut.

JenniferF - Hope you hear something soon.  There is obviously something happening in the background, but the wheels of SS turn so slow don't they.

Cindy - Glad you had some quality time with DH in Boulogne.  

Viva - Hope things are calming down at work for you and that you're going to get a decent rest over Christmas.

Magenta - Hope Bubbles is feeling better.

We have had our first Form E's sent to us for a sibling pair.  It's rather out of date and we have asked for some more info.  It's also a bit cold if you know what I mean.  It doesn't really bring the children to life and tell us what they are like as children.  Lots of background, but not much about them as people.  We don't feel as though we know enough to say yes or no so we will wait and see if we are able to get something more current.  I can tell that this bit is going to be really hard.


----------



## superal

Hi sanita

I think you are right to ask for more information..............I hope this feels right and works out for you & your DH,it would be a lovely start to the new year for you both.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## superal

LB - you need to empty your in box as it is full!!

have just tried to send you a PM!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Everyone,

Quick update from me. After not hearing from SS re prep group in Jan i decided to give them a call last week,left 3 x messages with no reply.Grrrrr. The on Monday i got a letter saying we did not have a place!!!!!!!!!, they had 6 applicants and only 4 places, to say i was upset is a bit of an understatement. Spent the whole day crying. Just feel sooooooooo cross. When were they going to let me know, if i had not phoned them?

Decided i would not give them more than one day of my life being upset, as it was my birthday the next day and I just looked at my wonderful son and DH and would not let ss upset me and spoil all our lives. Had a fab birthday withthe 2 most wonderful boys in my life.

So my plans now will be to go back to original LA who said they would assess us in April 07.

Catch up with all you news soon.

PBMxxxxxxx


----------



## jan welshy

Hi girls.

So sorry PBM.

Update from us.  Our prep course is booked for January!!!!!!! Thought we'd never get there as we had heared nothing since DH's medical records have been lost from 2002 and before.
Not sure what to expect on the prep course.maybe that's why we need to do it.

Am nervous about so much but glad we are moving forward.

Hope you are all well.

Love
WelshyXXXXXXX


----------



## ~Twinkle~

Just wanted to wish PBM a very

 PBM Happy birthday     

Sorry to read about your prep course hopefully your birthday gifts made up for it bless you.


Good luck to everyone who are new mummies, mummies for a while, going on prep courses, waiting to hear from social workers etc. 

Luv
~Twinkle~


----------



## TraceyH

Hi All

Have finally finished all my Christmas shopping this morning and wrapped it all this afternoon - a mammoth task!

Counting the days to Matching Panel (13 days ) and have a provisional date for Information Sharing meeting of 8 Jan 07.  Our SW has already issued me with a Matching Certificate as I will probably have to submit it before I finish for Christmas as we will probably be on a tight timescale after Christmas (not going back to work until 9 Jan 07) as I need to be paid.

Have started buying a few bits and pieces but have done lots of looking and writing lists.

Good luck to everyone in 2007, hope all your dreams come true.  To those new mummy's have a fab time.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone.

Tracey x


----------



## naoise

PBM sorry to hear that you haven't got onto the prep course when is the next one? Do sws not realise that they have our future in our hands and that we are depending on them?

Welshy great to hear that you have got on to your course have they found your dh's records then?

A little bit of news from us our sw rang on Thursday and she has said that our profiles have been sent forward to panel  along with other couples so lets hope we are in with a fair chance. She also said that the process for the girls has moved on quicker than she thought. So she is ringing me on Thursday or Friday to arrange a meeting about them for after Xmas. We are also on standby for emergency foster care which I really hope we are needed as it would be lovely to have children in the house for xmas.

I hope everybody has all their shopping done and ready to put their feet up, I have a few last minute pressies to buy, and of course all the food that I buy and never need the half of.

Love K xxx


----------



## keemjay

hi guys
so much good stuff going on at the moment 

sanita - glad you have managed to clear things up with dh's sons, must be a relief. we also got out of date childrens from E's..was rather irritated by it..like you say you dont feel like you can make any sort of rational decision. we found the first from E's hard too..but its just another part of the process you kind of get used to...

things have been really rough this end which is why i've been quiet. our 14 month old dog Caleb bit me badly a couple of weeks ago..i wont go into details (if you want them i've posted it all on iui friends) but obviously it has implications for having a child coming to live with us. if we had our own child then maybe we would be able to think differently about the risk, but with a child from SS we have to be very careful because we all know what SS would say about a dog that bites. Thats not the point really, if we had a birthchild we would be worried but having SS involved in our lives just makes it feel more complicated.
we have had a dog behaviourist out to see us and basically she thinks he has some issues that mean that we shouldnt have a child and him in a house together  we have come to the most agonising decision to have him put to sleep this evening  he cant be re-homed because rescues centres wont re-home problem dogs. we are utterly devastated. this year has been hard enough without this. i just keep trying to look forward to when we have our little one/s here and know that we are doing the right thing for him/her/them

kj x


----------



## superal

OH KJ.....what a horrible decision to have to make, I'll be thinking of you and send you a cyber hug in the mean time.

love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Viva

I can't believe what a difficult decision that must of been Keemjay, although I'm sure you've made the right one. Just wnated to send you a   .
Love Vivia


----------



## sanita

Oh KJ, how awful.  Making that decision would tear me apart, but I would probably have to do the same as you.  Sending you a big hug.

Sanita


----------



## Mummyof2

KJ - Very sorry to hear your sad story.  How dreadful for you and how brave and sensible you are being.  I am sure you have made the right decision but it is a very brave one that I know I would struggle with myself, having always had dogs but I think it is the right decision to have him put to sleep.  My brother had a dog that kept biting his children and then went on to attack a neighbour for no apparent reason.  He felt dreadful that he had not had the dog put down before and, of course, he had to have the dog put down then.  The vet said it might have had a brain tumour which is why it suddenly began biting people.  Like you said, the rescue homes would not take the dog in as it had attacked people.  Hugs to you for all the sadness and upset and well done on being such a responsible dog owner.


----------



## fiona1

KJ - What a horrid decision to make, my thoughts will be with you and your DH today. As the others have said you cannot take a chance and would never forgive yourself if your dog hurt a child.

Our visit this Friday has been cancelled as they are closing early!!!!! So we need to wait until Jan to start the home study, although we have filled in loads of forms and sent our profiles to our Sw already. We will have to complete the HomeStudy oin 3 months which wil be going some!!!

Off to Lapland tomorrow until Thursday. I cannot wait have packed extra tissues.

Take Care

Fiona


----------



## saphy75

KJ i'm so very sorry to read your news hun but you are making the right decision, i have 2 dogs myself and i understand how very difficult and devastating this decision must be for you    you are being very responsible and brave hun and i admire that. thinking of you   

pam xx


----------



## casey

Kj - so sorry to hear about your sad and difficult decision - its always hard to lose a much loved pet whatever the reason but I am sure you know in your heart that you are doing the right thing   

welshy - can i ask - did ssd make a big fuss about missing medical records for a specific reason or do they want to see everyones medical records ? hope i'm not being too nosey   

Naoise - hope you get a houseful for xmas to help you eat all that lovely food   

PBM - you must feel very frustated - hope you get something sorted soon  

Jennifer - hope 2007 rewards your patience and your dream comes true asap   

Fiona - ooh lapland you lucky thing lots of vodka and big blonde hunky men everywhere     

Sanita - I reckon you can never get enough info - good luck  

tracey - good luck for matching panel in Jan - it must feel good to be so close to your dream 

Two more days till s/w visits to start home study - can't believe how excited i am and how weird it feels to know that a third person will have access to our lives and will ( hopefully   ) judge us fit to be parents - I am so used to assessing other people i know this will feel very strange !    I told my mum about our plans just in case they do want to speak to her   

can I also ask whether anyone has been a bit of 'wanderer' in the past and if any gaps in their chronology caused problems ? I know some of my medical records have gone missing and there was a time in my 20s when i spent a lot of time in different addresses/ shared houses/ hostels & backpacking/friends houses etc. I really can't remember every single address or even every empluyer - any ideas ??    

oops got to go stews burning 
casey xx


----------



## BunBun

KJ -   for you & your dh. Thinking of you both.


----------



## keemjay

thank you everyone   

kj x


----------



## Barbarella

Oh KJ, I am so sorry for your loss - what a hard decision to make, but you have made the right one.  
Take care,
C xx


----------



## jilldill

KJ, I am so sorry what an upsetting thing to go through take care Love JD xx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

morning ladies

KJ- im am so sorry about C-people think im mad when i talk about our dog but to us he is a baby! massive hugs xxxxxx

hi to everyone else- slowly i will get to you know all

well my 1st af since moving over to adoption showed up last night and this is the first time im not bothered about it as we now have our new path to follow

we sent our papers off last wed reg post and been checking to see if they are there and they arrived at the agency this morning!!!!! YAY so hope to have a call from them this week to give us a date for a meeting

can i ask you all a question- when you first applied to your LA did you tell family/friends? as we have as dh said he hated it when we were ttc and hide it and he wants us to be open and honest (we only hide it cos we hated the oh u preg yet comments all the time) 

hugs

Mez
xxxxx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi all,

KJ, so sorry to hear about your dog. I remember when you posted about getting him (at least i think it was you) But it sounds like you made the only decision you could!

MJ its such a relief to get off the fertility journey isnt it.

casey i don;t think they'll go back that far. but you probably know better than us what they ask you for on CRB checks (am i right in thinking your a SW??)....i can't remember now. 

PBM, how annoying about the prep course. I am soooo happy wiht our little Boo (he's a shepard in his nativity play later today!). But at the same time I'm not sure what we're going to do to get number 2? Maybe by the time our LA will be willing to reassess us I'll have forgotten all the frustrations of going through it the first time. Maybe your old LA won't expect you to re-do the prep course? Is it 2 years in april since no. 1 moved in? can't believe how fast the time flies!

I'm feeling really teary at the moment. Not in a bad way, just in a wierd way. like i'm just flooded with emotions....does that make any sense? Yesteday it was because Boo was "helping" me wrap his cousins presents and i couldn't believe that here i was with my own little boy giving presents from him to his cousins. Today it was him pointing out a photo of my mum (who died 5 years ago) telling me she was his granny and she was in his room last night talkign to him. The thing is I've no memory of talking about the photo to him as there are enough alive people in the family for him to rememebr. I'm nearly in tears here writing this now.....and I'm not even premenstrual! Maybe I'm just going mad  

anyway thought i'd write it down here as you lot don't know where i live so can't have me committed!

xxruthie


----------



## Mummyof2

Mez - I think it is better to hide it for a while that you have started down the adoption route as you will get "have you got your adopted child?" questions and it does get on your nerves a bit, especially as the whole process is a very long one in my experience.

Ruthie - it is a well known and often authenticated fact that children under the age of 5 are physic - some more than others.  How lovely that Boo was talking to your mum - I'm sure he did see her in his room.  She was probably checking all was well and would be very proud of her little grandson.

Casey - it is very difficult to remember all your employers and addresses.  It took us ages and we had to speak to our parents to work it out.  We had upwards of 30 addresses to record!

Kj - thinking of you

No news here.


----------



## Ange K

Hi Girls!

Just thought I'd give you a quick update. We had our adoption panel meeting yesterday and were approved! Yeaaaaahhhhh!!! Very happy with that! 

What a lovely Christmas present! We're off to Thailand for Christmas and New Year and feel that we can really relax now knowing that 2006 has ended on a good note. Can't wait for 2007 and to see what it'll bring!! Hopefully this time next year we'll be celebrating Christmas as a family with some little ones!

Wishing you all a lovely Christmas and a Happy 2007. 

Ange xx


----------



## saphy75

WOOHOO !!!! CONGRATULATIONS ANGE

have a great time in Thailand hun

pam xx


----------



## Val 12

Hi girls,

Ange: congratulations what wonderful news, get the champers out   

KJ: How awful for you, I would hate to be in that position but I almost have been. Our gorgeous black lab Lilly was like our baby until Sunny came along and took over the house. To say Lilly was a bit miffed and a bit jealous is an understatement. She seems fine now but when Sunny first arrived she just looked really depressed and kept jumping on dh's side of the bed (something she'd never done before) and just kept lying under dd's bed. Sunny won't leave her alone and delights in pulling her tail and stroking her quite heavy handidly. Lily's also had less walks than usual because we've just been so busy. But she's been so good, she's never snapped or growled, she just looks a bit depressed bless her. So we have to keep giving her lots of cuddles and praise and she seems fine now. My sister wasn't so lucky, her very well behaved spaniel bit her little girl quite badly when she was a toddler. Her dog was like their child until the baby came along and she took very badly to her and stated to chew the furniture and bit my sister on a couple of occasions. It was heartbreaking for her to have to have the dog put to sleep after she bit the baby.
You have probably made the right decision even though it is a heartbreaking one for you both, sending you lots of hugs 

Hope everyone else is ok and all prepared for Christmas. I'm going into work with Sunny for a lunch buffet so i'd better get him spruced up and looking gorgeous, he's got yoghurt in his hair at the moment,

Val xxxx


----------



## jan welshy

Angek,

Well done, I was never in any doubt that this was gonna happen for you both.

Congratulations, you deserve this soo much.

We have prep course in January so 2007 might be the best year for us both.

Love
WelshyXXXXXXXX


----------



## Ange K

Welshy

we've come a long way since the egg donor days, haven't we?! Good luck for your prep course!

Ange x


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Ruth,

Yes our original LA will not make us do a prep course unless they identify a one day thing for post adopters if there were other 2nd timers, but they were very strict on the 2 year age gap thing so will only start or re assessment in April next year  so we go to panel after august so pooh bear will be over 3. He moved in in June o5. Thanks for thinking of me.  

I know what you mean about emotions, even though this is our 2nd Christmas it all seems much more real this year as pooh bear has a bit more of an idea what is happening. He is an elf in the Christmas concert tomorrow  so i must remember the tissues as i am sure it will be a very emotional day.     In the afternoon we are going on the Santa steam train, yippee.

To all my special cyber friends have a great Christmas.

Love and hugs from pooh bear (elf!!) and his mummy.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## jan welshy

Ange, You can say that again!!!!!


----------



## casey

Our home study started today YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

KJ - sorry to hear your news.  A brave and difficult decision to make.

Ange - Congrats! on passing panel.

Casey - good luck with HS.

Jan - not long until your Prep Course...

PBM - how frustrating about the Prep Course, hope you hear some news soon.

Fiona - enjoy Lapland.

Tracey H - not ling until matching panel, bet you are getting excited.

Sanita - glad you're sorting things out with your step sons.

Jennifer - let's hope 2007 is our year!

Hi to everyone else.

No news from me.

Laine


----------



## Viva

Hi all,
Just got back from our first proper home study meeting, disecting our Prep course and planning our evidence for our competencies, have plenty of homework before the next! We really enjoyed it (are we supposed too?! ) and really like our SW too which is a great plus!

Casey, looks like we'll be heading for panel around the same time. It's a great feeling knowing that things are really started isn't it?

Jan, great news about your prep course date.

Laine and Jennifer really hoping that you get some news soon!

Ange, Big CONGRATULATIONS, what a wonderful Christmas present, have a great time celebrating and in Thailand, where are you going, we were there a few years ago and had a great time!

PBM, have a fabulous time tonight watching your little Elf.

Val, hope you had a good time at your work do, I bet they all loved meeting Sunny, did you manage to get the yoghurt out of his hair?

Ruthie, I don't think you're mad at all, think I may be over emotional too if I'm wrapping pressies with a littlie next year.

MJ, we told everyone of our plans once we were sure, they've all been really positive, however we do have to keep reminding everyone how long the process takes and we are constanly being asked if we have any news.

Hello to everyone else, off now as have just had some friends arrive.

Love Viva
XXX


----------



## sanita

Good heavens.  Things move so quick on here it's hard to keep up.

Viva - Glad you are enjoying HS.  We did too, except all the homework   .

Laine - I certainly hope 2007 is your year.   

PBM - An elf and a santa steam train.  Wow, sounds like great fun.   

Ange - Congratulations in becoming approved.  Have a fab holiday.   

We have said no to our first sibling pairs Form E and also no to another sibling pair and a singleton which were referred to us via the adoption register.  I was trying hard to make it a yes, but there was too many things not right for us.  I hope those kiddies soon find the new families they are looking for.  DH and I will keep looking.


----------



## cindyp

I'm with Sanita, so much going on here it is hard to keep up.

KJ, what a really hard decision for you.  I've never had a pet myself (too many fur allergies ) but I can understand how painful it must have been to lose a part of your life like that.  Hopefully you will get your family soon and it will all have been worth the cost.

PBM, have sent you a PM.

Fiona, have a great time in Lapland, my friend went a couple of years ago and loved it so much she wants to go again next year.

Mez, we told our family and friends straight away as we've always been very open about everything, including the if tx.  However Jennifer is right, you will get the "have you got your kiddie yet?" questions as people tend to understand the adoption process just as badly as they understand if tx.  Best of luck whichever way you decide to go.

Ruth, I think sometimes the whole wonderful fact that we are now parents catches us unaware sometimes and starts the  .  I don't think you're going to be committed and if you were I'd be there with you in the straightjacket.  Hope you had a lovely time at Boo's nativity play.

Ange, many congratulations on your approval, hope you had a good celebration.  That's a great way to end the year.  Hopefully 2007 will bring you a match.

Jan, not long till the prep course and then things will really start moving.

Casey and Viva, congratulations on getting the HS kicked off.  Hopefully not too long till the pair of you go to panel.

Tracey, I bet you're on countdown.

Laine and Jennifer, here's hoping 2007 is your year and you can finally see and end to the road.

Sanita, you had to make the choice that is right for you.  It is so difficult turning away children, it makes you feel so sad, but you can't take a child out of pity.  Fingers crossed they will come back to you with a child that is right.  

We've had a fairly manic week, it was my DH's birthday on Saturday and DS's 3rd birthday on Sunday (can't believe he's been with us for almost 2 years!).  My parents came up for a visit and we've had lots of friends round.  We've had playgroup party and nursery party and Music with Mummy party and we also went on a Santa train so lots happening.  We are going down to visit family and friends for the next two days so I can do my Santa run and deliver all the presents.  My lovely Mum has agreed to babysit tomorrow night so Lee and I can have a drink with all our old mates for the first time in 2 years, there may be a hangover when Junior wakes us up at 6.30 on Saturday morning, but it'll be a small price I hope    We're really looking forward to sneaking the presents into his bedroom on Xmas Eve and putting mince pies out for Santa.  We never got to do it last year because of the house move and him being so ill so we're really going to make the most of it.

To all those still on the road to adoption, here's hoping that 2007 makes your dreams come true.

To all you adoptive Mums, may you enjoy you best Xmas ever.

To everyone, Merry Xmas and Happy New Year

love
Cindy


----------



## TraceyH

Hi All

Things are moving fast here.  We have been told that we don't need to attend Matching Panel ourselves.  We have already sorted out a provisional timetable of introductions to both little one and the foster parents etc.  We have also been given a provisional date of 26 Jan 07 to bring him home forever.  

Yesterday we received some photos in a Christmas card that the foster parents had taken for us and the card had some scibble in it from him.  I can't stop looking at the photo.  I know is sounds silly, but we have put a special blue bauble on the christmas tree for him this year.  He will be able to put it on himself next year!

I am going to put my Mama and Papas order in tomorrow - it is all so exciting.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New year to everyone whatever stage your are at.

Tracey


----------



## Barbarella

Hi Everyone

Just wanted to apologise for not being around very much... so much lovely news though. Has been absolutely manic in our house.  Bea has been home for 7 days and I've been through so many emotions in that time, including the baby blues.  I haven't even thought about Christmas and have just gone about the preparations on autopilot, but today I have just started to get really excited about it.

Bea and I went out for our first trip with Nanny today, and it felt lovely - her grandparents are totally besotted with her.  Anyway, wishing each and every one of you much happiness for the future - this is it everyone - it's not like ttc... this really is going to end up with all of you being parents!!!  FABULOUS!!!

Anyway, just a few mentions - apologies for not doing many, but I've just got to get Bea ready for bed...

Ange - many many congrats on becoming approved - and very best wishes for 2007...!! That will be your year.

KJ - hope you are ok.

Sanita - I know how you feel saying no to children - it is so hard, but obviously the right thing to do - I don't think we ever feel comfortable.  Today we had a review with Bea's SW and she said she knew the little boy we were matched with and said no to and she said he wasn't a good match for us and didn't know why they'd matched us... so everything happens for a reason.  Bea is our perfect match.

Mez - good luck with your adoption journey - we also told all our close friends and family - but told them it was a long process and it would take years.  TBH they had given up with asking questions about ttc, so they didn't much with the process as well. 

Viva - lovely to hear you are enjoy the process already - we loved it... and I mean loved it.  We, too, had a great SW and will be sorry when we have to say goodbye to her... she has become like a friend now.  We loved every minute of this process, even the challenging parts, because we knew what the result would be.  We found it quite easy to IVF.

Casey - best of luck for the home study... you will be fine... so exciting.

Laine/Jennifer and everyone else waiting - can't wait to see some good news from you in 2007.

Love and luck to all... and have a wonderful wonderful Christmas everyone.

C  xxx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hey ladies

sorry for being awol for a few days however lost net and been busying getting house looking nice ready for home visit in new yr! (just the daft things like finishing tiling the kitchen and bits like that!)

the LA got our forms on tue and we got a reply yesterday to say they will be in contact within next 2weeks for home visit!

thanks all for your advise about tell friends/family- we have told a few people and told them not to expect us to have "our children" for about 2yrs (advised them subject to getting to panel and getting a match) some have been mega pos however 2 have been pos about us adopting however have in their own way tried to protect us however have come out with "oh it takes yrs and yrs to adopt" one even said it takes aprox 5yrs......yes yrs!!!! im sure you all got this however one person came out with "oh now ur not ttc you may get preg cos you have forgotten about it" 

i would like to say thank you to you all for your kindness and warmth , may 2007 be even better for us all

hugs

Mez
xx


----------



## KarenM

Hi everyone

Sorry I've not been around much but have had loads of Xmas parties to go to and then we have been moving furniture around in our house and have re-sited our computer.

PBM - sorry to hear that you are be messed around by SS rerep course

Jan - great news on your prep course.  Good luck for it

Tracey - great news on matching panel, it will soon be here.  Have fun getting all your bits and bobs.  26th jan will be here before you know it.  Lovely thought with the bauble

K - Hope you get to hear about the girls soon

KJ - so sorry to hear about the decision you have had to come to about Caleb.  Hope the new Year brings you your little ones.

Fiona - Hope you had a lovely time in Lapland.  Really want to do this with my little ones.

Casey - I am sure SS will have had to assess people where they cannot recall all of their past and it is fairly common for people to have been off travelling.  I am sure they can work with you to get as much information as they need.

Mez - great news on your forms and your first meeting.  We found out we could not have kids in the November so when it came to the Xmas and I was holding my friends little boy and getting all the comments like "it will be your turn next" it felt the right time to say that yes it would but through adoption.  it was such a relieve to tell people and they were wonderfully supportive.  However it did get a bit much as the process is quite lengthy they would ask everytime about how it was going, usually before they asked me how I was!!

Ruthie - I think we all have moments like this and it is surprising what sets you off.  Enjoy having Boo with you this Xmas, it truly is magical with littlies.

Ange - Congratulations on being approved.  Hope you don't have to wait long for a match.  Have a lovely holiday.

Val - hope you had a good time taking Sunny into work.  I'm taking my girls in today.

Viva - I think most of us after the anxiety beforehand actually enjoy the prep course and home study. 

Sanita - don't try to make it fit if it is not right.  SS would much rather know that you are sure about your decision than feeling that you "should" be doing it.  Hope some more matches materialise soon

Cindy - my two are just hyper about Christmas and I've lost count of how many carrots and mince pies they want to leave out.  Eldest keeps asking if she can stay up late but I have told her that she has to be in bed by a certain time as FC counts all the children's heads to make sure they are there!!

Barbarella - glad to hear things are settling down.  The "blues" are natural so don't worry.  Glad to hear that Bea has made such an impacted on her grandparents.  Have a lovely Xmas.

The girls had their nativity play last week and it was great.  It was hard to think that this would be the eldest's last one at nursery before she starts school.  Have just had to register for an alternative school to the one we wanted as they have cancelled the wrap around care that I need to have in place for her.

On Sunday we took the girls on Thomas the tank and to see Santa.  It felt really weird as it was so warm we were all in summer weight jackets.  They have had their Xmas party this week and broke up yesterday after attending nursery in santa hat and santa hair clips.  

They are so excited about Xmas.  Rich left a message on the phone on Tuesday, pretending to be Santa as they did not believe that he is watching them.  There faces were just a picture!!

Well off to get ready for my day of Xmas prep so I can try and relax at the weekend (as if, I have a mountain of ironing to do!!)

Hope those of you who are waiting will get some good news in the New year.

Merry Xmas Everyone 

Karen x


----------



## Mummyof2

Lots of lovely news on here at the moment.  

Thanks for all your good wishes for us.  We got a Christmas card from our sw and she wrote "see you in the New Year!!".  Dh says not to read anything into that but I can't help but hope that the exclamation marks were her way of saying she had news.  Perhaps I am just clasping at straws.  

Christmas festivities are in full swing at our house and our little boy is very excited. He was a wise king in the Christmas Play and both sets of grandparents came along to his school to watch.  It was a proud moment.  Ds helped decorate the Christmas tree and put out the chocolates on the tree.  Every day he gets down his advent calendar and opens the box to eat his chocolate.  We have got out his stocking and hung it on his bedroom door.  We have bought some reindeer food (!) to put out on Christmas Eve along with mince pies and carrots.  He received a personal letter through the post from Santa along with a certificate for being so good all year round and a Christmas Card (ordered by my parents of course!).  I bought a special magic key on a red ribbon to attach to the front door.  It is for Santa to let himself in with as we have no chimney (the things you can buy today!!).  Dh has gone to Sainsbury to get all the Christmas food as we have 7 people here for Christmas Day.  Both Dh and Ds have now broken up for the holidays.  Dh starts his new job on the 2nd and came home with some lovely presentation gifts from his old job yesterday.  Little Henry kitten is now 5 months old and no longer little but is a lovely kitten/cat.  We are going to London for a couple of days between Christmas and New Year so that should be fun.

Karen - loved the phone call from Santa idea - great - I bet their faces were amazed    A friend of mine used to put raisins out on Easter Day and say that it was droppings from the Easter Rabbit 

I hope that all your Christmas festivities go well and that everyone has a lovely 2007.


----------



## fiona1

Hi All,

Hope you are all well, sorry i have not been around much lately, i will get back into the swing of things.

We got back from Lapland last night, it was fab, I can throughly reccommend it to all of you. it's not cheap, but worth every penny.

Just like to wish you all a Merry Christmas. To all of you who are enjoying your 1st Christmas with little ones, and to everyone else, wishing all your dreams come true in 2007.

Take Care

Fiona


----------



## LB

Wow Cindy - two years coming up - i cannot believe it neither 
it has flown over!
LB
X


----------



## Boomerang girl

just wanted to pop in to say merry christmas to everyone. things are great at our end, had the family to us for xmas and everyone was besotted with strawb, my one complaint is father christmas made a HUGE mess all over the living room leaving big white footprints all the way from the chimney to the tree. I wasn't very happy having to vaccuum on christmas day!!!!

now just trying to ease strawb through the post- christmas blues as she has just realised its all over and there's nothing left to unwrap!

kj- my heart aches for you and your dh and pup. what an awful time for you

jennifer- i hope that card means something. it must be your turn soon!!!

xx


----------



## superal

Hi all - just a quick message, I say that every time don't I and then end up going on and on...like now.

We had a lovely Christmas, had to wake DD up at 7.50 a.m. as I could not wait any longer, to see her face was magical.

Boomerang girl.............laughed at the bit about Father Christmas and his footprints, I had to hoover up all the magic dust he used to get into the house........glitter all over the place!!

Jennifer, I to hope that your card from your SW means something, my fingers are crossed for you.

Hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas, we did, even though I have an awful head cold and have spent most of the time on the settee, pulled myself of it to say hello to you all!

love
Andrea
xx


----------



## KarenM

Hi Everyone

I too have had a great Xmas I just love all the mystery that the girls get enveloped in.  Some of the things they come out with really make me laugh.  My eldest was paranoid about what FC would do if she needed to get out of bed to go for a wee!!

Jennifer - hope the message is code for something.  Bruing on the new year

Fiona - I really want to do Lapland next year.  Who did you book with?

Boomer - love the footprints tale.  I resorted to a pastry cutter to leave teeth marks in the carrots!!

Andrea - sorry to hear you've had a cold hopwe it gets better soon.  BTW your b'day present sounds fab.

Twinkle - sorry to hear about your sister.  I haven't heard of anyone having to pay to do their course, only if they have gone charity organisation/voluntary agency or abroad.

Is anyone else like me and saying this year as in 2007.  I seem to have this thing that once Xmas is out of the way it is the next year.  Oh well only 4 more days and it will be

Happy New year everyone

Karen x


----------



## Boomerang girl

i am so the same karen! it is next year now- xmas is the end of the year! i will still be writing 2006 though when i sign anything for at least the next 2 months. so glad i don't have to go back to work on the 2nd of january like everyone else!!!


----------



## fiona1

Karen - We had heard to ONLY book through Canterbury Travel and so we did and they were fab, I think 3 nights is ample time there, my only other bit of advice is that i wouldn't take a child under 5 as the days are long and cold. On the last day we had to be on the coach at 7.15am there were a few grizzly kids.

I will go again when we have no 2

Fiona


----------



## cindyp

Karen, my New Year starts when all the Xmas choccies have been consumed and I'm ready to start the inevitable New Year Diet     LOL at your DD trying not to wee.

Kylie, my DS is like Strawberry, in mourning there are no more presents.  His birthday was just before Xmas and as we went to visit family last weekend it has been a long procession of gifts for him.  Unfortunately he did get a bit concerned at the idea of Santa coming into his bedroom and waking him up and insisted that Daddy phone Santa to arrange to leave his presents downstairs    We bought him a large wooden train set as his main Xmas present and set it up in the lounge on Xmas Eve.  The expression on his face was priceless on Xmas morning.  

So hope that more people get to experience this next year.

love
Cindy


----------



## LB

Hi everyone

we had a quiet but relaxing Christmas.
I was pleased to be well again as from early December i started with sore throat then flu then just got rid of that and ended up with gastric flu which was horrendous and of course i kindly passed it on to dh - well we have to share 

but roll on 2007 and let's hope for lots more happy news on this thread and this site

best wishes to all
and a Happy New Year


LB
X


----------



## TraceyH

Hi All

Hope you all had a good Christmas.  The stories about Santa's visits really made me chuckle.

Our Matching Panel is a week today.  We then have an Information Sharing meeting planned for 8th Jan and will start our introductions on 10th Jan.  The 9th Jan is my last day at work, it seems really strange to think that I will be away for 6 months, but I would not swap it for the world (I am then going to work part-time).  This week we have decorated little one's room, put the cot up and DH has been to the Next sale and bagged some real bargins and none of it needs to go back!  I have also just received an e-mail to say that my Mama and Papas order has been dispatched.

Tomorrow we meeting friends in London.  DH is hoping to find time to go to Hamleys but I think we will have to save that for next time.

Wishing everyone a very Happy New Year.

Tracey x


----------



## naoise

Hi everyone

It is lovely to read everybodys Xmas stories, won't be long to the New Year and new families for some of us I hope.

Cindy I too will be on the diet plan after I have eaten everything in sight.

Tracey exciting times for you ahead I hope all goes well.

LB sorry to hear that you have been poorly, hope you are all better soon.

Jennifer I hope you hear some good news in the next few weeks.

Our sw called with us on Wednesday to discuss the girls she hadn't a lot more info, they are all in separate foster homes which we felt really sad about as they have never lived together. So if they come to live with us they will do it one at a time but she isn't sure who would come first. Our profiles have been sent with two other couple for matching so we will just have to wait and see if we are picked. I don't know how I will feel if we aren't picked.  The info that we did get has made us feel that we are soo excited about it, we will have to go back to panel and be passed for three instead of two, but hopefully that won't hold things up for us.

Wishing everyone and their families a very Happy New Year.

Love K


----------



## superal

Hi naoise


Fingers crossed for you when you go to matching panel, I have never been in that situation where there were other couples going forward as well, I really wish SS would not do that, sorry moan over, i just wanted to wish you luck and there is nothing wrong with getting a little bit excited is there!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## morgana

Hi all

Lovely to hear everyone's christmas stories...can hardly believe it will be us next year  Just hope my oldest will still be into the whole christmas thing as she will be 9 by next xmas. No news at the moment but we are expecting the girls SW to be in touch in a couple of weeks to confirm dates....roll on 2007.

Morgana x


----------



## CAREbear1

LB- Do you remember me?  - course you won't  I had a different name when we were on a board together, will Im you who I was  

xxx


----------



## superal

Hi Morgana...................I think children still believe as much as you want them to believe, our DS was 10 when we had to tell him   he was going to secondary school in the September and we did not want him to have the Micky taken out of him.  I'm sure Dancer will love the excitement of her first Christmas with her for ever Mummy & Daddy.

It's lovely to read that so many of us had wonderful Christmas BUT I think we all want the new year to roll in now.  Although I will be 40 in January it also means we get to go away for a week in the sunshine of Egypt.

I can imagine all of the ones who have been approved will be waiting for that very important phone call to tell you that you have been matched.  A new year, a new start, the year for you to be matched and placed.  Don't give up hope, I have a funny feeling that our list of people matched will be growing very quickly, very soon.

Love & best wishes to everyone for a very happy 2007!

Andrea
xx


----------



## LB

Hi CAREBEAR

do now hunny!

welcome aboard great to see you here

much love

LB
X


----------



## Old Timer

HI Ladies
Sorry I've been AWOL lately.  Hope everyone had a great Christmas, I can't wait until we have children in the house to share it with.
Our Christmas was a bit of a nightmare, we had mine and DH's parents coming for the day and DH's were staying overnight.  DH woke up with a tummy bug and spent the day in bed asleep, missing dinner.  I went up to see him about 8pm and he had woken up hearing us laughing and was quite upset he was missing out and that I had had to do everything.  He has since made up for it by eating too much and going shopping with me.  
I was doing well until yesterday evening when I fell down the stairs and badly sprained my ankle.  The hospital think I may have chipped the bone but won't xray it unless it is still painful in a week.  So I am on painkillers and crutches.  They say it will take about 3 weeks before it is right again and I can't drive until I can put weight on it and am able to do an emergency stop.

I am now looking forward to 2007 and praying for a better year.  We start our prep course on the 12th Jan which we are really excited about.

Happy New Year
Love
OT x


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all the messages.

We had a great Christmas and then went to London for a couple of days. Had a trip on the London Eye and went to Tower of London plus saw lots of the sights and went to Harrods Sale. Last night we went round to my friends for a New Year's Eve Meal which was nice. Got home at 10pm with a tired little boy. Put him to bed and then dh and I had a couple of hours to ourselves, snuggled up and watching the spectacular midnight fireworks round the London Eye. Lots of fireworks going off outside in the houses around us so we drew back the curtains and watched those for a while. Very romantic 

Back to normal tomorrow as Dh goes back to work, although he starts at his new job. Ds is off school for a few more days but starts swimming lessons tomorrow night. Dh and I have managed to put on a few pounds over Christmas, along with everyone else I suspect so will be reining in pigging out now!

All the best for 2007 to everyone.     

OT - hope you recover quickly.


----------



## Val 12

Hi Everyone, happy new year.

I'm feeling a bit deflated today as i've just had a visit from our SW. Sunny has been with us for 10 weeks now and we were talking about applying to legally adopt him and court dates etc. Apparently we have to have another police check and medical. I'm worried about the medical because I had an unexpected miscarriage in December. I'm also taking medication for PMT that I wasn't taking when I had my last medical so I haven't told the SW. i've had PMT for years but it's been really severe over the past 6 months or so. My GP is marvellous and prescribed me an anti depressant to take in the last 2 weeks of my cycle and i've been great while on it, no PMT whatsoever. So this will obviously come up in my medical and i'm really worried about it.
The SW also told me that the birth parents would be invited to the court hearing and as Sunny is only under a placement order that they still have parental responsibility re: names etc. I asked if they could challenge the adoption and the SW said yes they could but it's highly unlikely. I don't want to hear highly unlikely, I want to hear a definite no and that yes he is your son forever. I thought once we had Sunny placed with us everything would be fine but now i'm worried sick something will go wrong. We just love him so much that it would break my heart for anything to go wrong   

Sorry for being a whinge but I really need some support today,

Val xxxxx


----------



## Mummyof2

Val - just wanted to offer some support.  You've had a very tough and sad time lately with the miscarriage so can do without any more upset and worry.  Sorry not to be able to be more help but just wanted to send some hugs to you.


----------



## gillywilly

Hi Val
Sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment. Its so hard when the children are on placement orders we to feel the strain its like they dont belong to us yet like we are borrowing them. I would try not to worry about the PMT issue I really dont think it will be a problem at least you have sorted it.
Take care and be gentle on yourself. Lots of warm hugs!!!!!!!!!!!
Gill


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Hi everyone

hope you are all well

Val- sending you massive hugs during this hard time xxxx

hugs

Mez
xxxx


----------



## casey

Hi all  and a Happy New Year !!

we had our 2nd home visit from s/w - dh had a hangover ( wanted to kill him   ) and she wanted to look around the house and i hadn't made the beds yet
(cringe    ) oh well at least she's seen us as we really are   

Val - i think that any s/w with common sense would see what is important is that sonny is happy and settled with you and any more disruption for him should be avoided at all costs and the fact  that you have PMT and are getting the help you need to stay calm is the less serious of these issues - sorry if i am being unclear but i am sending you a big hug too     

bye for now 
love caseyxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Old Timer

Hi All
Val, sorry to hear you are having a rough time hun.  Surely everyone involved knows Sonny is in the best place and it would SO NOT be in the best interest of him to move him now.  You are getting help with the PMT which is good.  I don't know how good a relationship you have with your GP but would he/she have to mention the mc?  When I spoke to my GP about the medicals she said she would only put what I was happy with even though there is nothing in my history to hide.  Why do you need another medical anyway?

Casey, typical timing!  I would think they'd be a bit worried though if your home was like a show home all the time they saw it.

We start our prep course next Friday and are looking forward to it, will be good to get started.

Love
OT x


----------



## Val 12

Hi girls,

i've calmed down now, our SW has a way of making me worry constantly. 

OT i'm not sure why we need another medical as our previous meds were fine. Can I ask if anyone else had had to have another medical before they go to court for the adoption order? It will be more than a year since our last medicals as we were approved in December 2005 so that may be why we need another. I've got a good  relationship with my GP so he may not have to disclose the mc.
Casey my house look like Beirut this morning when my SW turned up. We were taking the decorations down and Sunny was chucking baubles and tinsel all over the place. He then wouldn't leave the poor dog's tail alone and kept trying to touch dh's cup of hot coffee. Then to top it all off he fell over and banged his head off the fireplace!!!  

Thanks for your replies girls ,they have made me feel better. It's just that we love Sunny so much I can't bear to think of anything that would affect us legally adopting him. He's so settled here, he calls us mum and dad and loves his big sister. He's been happy here since day 1 so I really can't forsee any problems, it's just me being a worrit,
love
Val xx


----------



## TraceyH

Hi Val

We had to have another medical recently (just before we were matched) but we did not have to attend as it was only an update (if that makes sense). I did drop my GP a line to let her know how much weight I had lost as I felt it was important. We had to have our medicals updated as it was just over a year, so that is probably why they are asking you for another one. If you are still worried I would make an appointment to see your GP for a chat. As you are managing your PMT that can only be seen as a positive - well done.









We have only got 3 more sleeps until we meet our little boy. I am trying to get some sleep but it is too exciting. I still can't believe it is happening. Our SW is going to panel for us on Thursday. We have got the champers on ice -fingers crossed it all goes well.

Tracey x


----------



## gillywilly

Hi Tracey 
Just wanted to wish you all the best for Thursday its soooooo exciting cant wait to hear you post your news. 

Love Gill


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Tracey
How exciting! All the best for Thursday, what a fab way to start the New Year!
Love
OT x


----------



## Val 12

Great news Tracey, I bet you can't wait. It really is a fantastic moment that you will treasure forever when you first meet your little one. Let us know how you get on,
Val x


----------



## Laine

Tracey - tons of luck for Thursday...can't wait to hear how you get on  

Val - sending you ((((((Val)))))

Laine


----------



## rianna

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to send hugs to Val and wish Tracey lots of luck meeting her little boy.

Hi to everyone else and happy new year.  Sorry no more time for personals but it has been such a busy time.

We met with our future (hopefully) little girls social worker before Christmas and she really was lovely.  She gave us photographs which we have been carrying around with us.  She is so lovely and I am keeping fingers, toes and everything crossed that matching panel will say yes and all will go well.

Lots of Love
Rianna


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,
A big Happy New Year to one and all. I had a wondeful time with Sunshine she made what would have been an unbearable Christmas magical.
Tracey H lots of luck for Thursday what a time for you !!!!!
Naoise thinking of you and hope it all works out
Morgana what an exciting 2007 is ahead for you!!
Andrea may I be the first to wish you a happy 40th in January!!!!!
Jennifer your New Year sounded just lovely
Val, sorry to hear you have been abit flat hope things are picking up
GillyWilly, we passed panel at the same time I am over the moon to read your news!! a boy and a girl wow! My baby is fast asleep at the moment she just fills my heart with joy
Rianna, what an exciting time ahead!!!

Lots of love to all JD xx


----------



## superal

Hi Everyone

Sounds as though we've all had a good Christmas and a good start to the new year.

I'm not going to make any new years resolutions this year as I never stick to them and have just decided to do things as and when i can, like going to the gym more, I've not been for 6 months and this is the person who was going 3 times a week and really enjoying it, I don't know why I stopped BUT will start again soon.

Jilldill ; - 20 days and counting and then I'm the BIG 40!!, It is only a number, that's what I've been told.  Less than 3 weeks to our holiday.  Sunshine sounds as though she just lived up to her nick name and brought you sunshine to what would have been a miserable Christmas for you & your DH, you went through SO much last year & I'm so glad the year ended for you as it did.

Tracey H :- Good luck for Thursday< i can still remember the count downs we did to meet our DS, we met him in January as well!   It will be such a wonderful experience and one that you will never forget, lots of people who have adopted can still remember that first day of meeting their children for the first time, enjoy every minute.

Casey:- Sorry but had to laugh at your message about DH having a hangover   Your SW will definitely know what he's like now!!

Jennifer:- Have been thinking about you & hope you get that long awaited news you have been waiting for SOON!!

Laine:- Have also been thinking about you to and hope you hear something soon to!!

Val:- I think the reason for updates on your medicals will because they have run out, if you know what I mean, try not to worry about things, I know it is easily said than done but it sounds as though you have a great GP & hopefully things can be sorted for you.  If for some reason your M/C is mentioned then try not to worry to much about it, I had a friend who did concurrency and she found out she was pg and worried that they would take the child away as they had not been to court to legally adopt this child, she needn't have worried.

OT:- Good luck for your prep course, you will enjoy but find it hard work at the same time.

naosie:- Am I right in thinking you are doing concurrency?  Is the possible match to the girls for concurrency or adoption, sorry to be nosey.  I'm here if you want to talk about concurrency, i have to say Fiona summed it lovely the other day about it's worth taking the risk and what better start could you give a child,  That is how i look at our case now.

Fiona:- Have just mentioned above at how well you put concurrency into words, have to agree with everything that you said,  i hope things work out just right for you.

Cindy:- How are you & your family?

Karen:- How are you and your family, did you have a good Christmas?

Hello to everyone else I forgot to mention
love
ANDREA


----------



## naoise

Hi all! 

Superal yes you're right we are doing concurrency or dual registration. But the girls we are interested in are not they are straight forward adoption. But we don't mind we are waiting for a call from our sw this week with some news and my nerves are jangling. Have you any plans for your big birthday? 

Val sorry to hear that things have been topsy turvy for you I hope everything will work out OK for you.

Tracey all the best for tomorrow you lucky thing you must be soo excited, I will waiting for your post.

Laine I hope you hear something soon, this will be our year I can feel it in my bones.

Rianna things sound so great for you hope things move quickly.

OT have a good time on your prep course hope you have an interesting time.

Hi to all that I have missed which I seem to do quite a lot.

LOL K


----------



## Mummyof2

Tracey - just wanted to say good luck for tomorrow.  Can't wait to hear your news.

Thanks to everyone for their messages to me.

Jilldill - you sound very very happy and you well deserve some happiness after your rotten year.  I am very glad for you.

Laine - hope you won't have to wait too long.

Superal - I'm 46 and don't feel a day older than 36!!  Where does the time go!  Hope you have a lovely 40th birthday.

Hi to everyone.  No news here re adoption.  Ds goes back to school tomorrow so I shall miss him as he is such good company.


----------



## superal

Hi Naoise & Jennifer & everyone else!!

Naoise - I thought I had read you were doing concurrency and then i couldn't work out how you could do concurrency with 2 girls who were placed in separate FC and how one would move in before the other BUT now I understand after you have explained that the girls will be down the traditional route.  Karen would be a good person to talk to about siblings moving in when they have lived in separate FC.

Jennifer - off to Egypt for a week to celebrate my 40th...........I still feel like I'm 30!!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Val 12

Superal when is your 40th? i'm 38 today which is a depressing thought anyway but nobody has any money and nobody wants to go out so it is an awful time to have a birthday. Have a wonderful time when you go away i'm sure you will.

Rianna, what wonderful news let us know how things are moving with your little one. They surely wouldn't have given you her photo if it wasn't all ok, that's what they told us anyway.

Well i'm going to bed now, dh will get up with Sunny tomorrow as we've all been out for my birthday and i've probably quoffed too much wine so i'm well knackered. Hope everyone is ok,

Val xxxx


----------



## superal

Hi Val

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

I hope you had an enjoyable evening.

I'm 40 on the 23rd January.............not to far away now, my DS keeps telling me how many days as he moved in with us the day before my 30th, nothing as exciting as that will happen the day before my 40th, I'm sure of that!! 

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## LB

Hi Ladies

Tracey - good luck for Thursday - enjoy every moment.

Superal - i was 40 last month and didn't bat an eyelid - just blocked it out  

hello to everyone

LB
X


----------



## GuitarAngel1979

Just wanted to say hello! My DH are planning on starting the adoption process within the next few months, so you will be seeing a lot of me  Looking forward to it! Everyone here seems just spectacular!  

Amanda xx


----------



## Barbarella

Hi everyone

We had a pants last few days of the year - I've had flu and it's only just going now, and my Dad was rushed to hospital the day before NYE with stomach pains.  He had surgery at 2 mins to midnight on NYE... and luckily it was only appendicitis, but we were worried at the time.

So.... didn't really get to celebrate being parents NYE as I was thinking about my Dad under the knife and I was too ill to drink anyway.  Never mind, we're forever grateful for our little girl.. and I know what way round I would have it..!! 

Anyway, just wanted to wish Tracey the best of luck for Thursday... can't wait to read about your meeting with your little boy... hope you start a thread with all the gossip.

Val - sending you hugs, I am sure everything will be fine, but know it's easy to worry. I must admit I thought after placement that was "it"...except for concurrency.  

Take care everyone....

Love C xx


----------



## LB

Hi Barbarella

sorry to hear about your Dad you must have been so worried - hope he is recovering well XX
nasty flu virus for you too - at least your resistance will be supersonic for the new year - and should keep the beasties at bay!

LB
X


----------



## thespouses

Ooh superal you are less than a month older than me! Scary or what!

I rang the agency yesterday to be told they haven't quite got round to allocating a SW (I probably should have rung before Christmas as we got our copies of the CRB back then) but we will possibly meet him or her before our prep course (starts 2nd Feb) or if not, when we go for the course we'll meet the SW.  

They are sending an official letter to invite us to the course; when we get it I think I'll ring again about starting medicals (husband has diabetes so it could take a while) and to remind them about my overseas CRB equivalent which has actually caused a friend of a friend to be rejected at panel - can you imagine? It wasn't just that but they were so insulting, apparently.


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Barbarella, so sorry to hear about your Dad and you being poorly.  I had my appendix removed when I was 9 and have a nasty big scar but I believe most cases now are done by keyhole, hope he recovers well over the next few weeks or so.

Superal, enjoy your holiday and birthday!  

Amanda, welcome to the thread....and good luck with your journey.

Katiea, We started about the same time with this journey and I find it interesting to see how different LA/VAs do things.  Ours won't touch CRBs, medical etc until after the prep course in case you change your mind during the prep course.  Ours starts next Friday and run for 4 consecutive Fridays and then we have to officially apply to adopt before being allocated a SW or doing anything else.  I don't mind so much though because we have to pay for our medicals and I've read somewhere they need to be renewed if done too soon before approval panel etc.

Val, Happy Birthday for yesterday!  

Tracey, hope you managed to get some sleep, enjoy today and let us know how you got on.

Love
OT x


----------



## rianna

Andrea,  I have already hit the big 41.  I keep worrying that everyone will think I am the Grandma when I finally get to collect my child from school!
But everyone keeps telling me you're as young as you feel, so that must make me about 95!

Val - Have a really happy birthday.

Lots of Love
Rianna


----------



## Val 12

Barbarella so sorry to hear about your dad being ill. I hate it when I hear of people getting appendicitis becuse I actually lost my dad 18 months ago due to a perforated appendix   
so your poor dad really has been through it. Give him lots of TLC and take care of yourself too, glad you're feeling better,
Val x


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Tracey - thinking of you, hoping everything went ok?

OT - good luck with your Prep Course.

Amanda -welcome to the thread.  Look forward to sharing your journey with you.

C - sorry to hear about your dad being unwell.

Andrea - enjoy Egypt, what a lovely pressie for your 40th.

Val & LB - Belated Happy Birthday wishes.

Katie - hope you meet your sw soon.

Rianna - nice to hear about your little one.

Jennifer & K - hoping to hear good news from you both soon.

Hi to everyone else.  No news to report here.

Laine


----------



## Barbarella

Just a quickie to say thanks very much for everyone's get well wishes... my Dad is fine... thanks again.

C xx


----------



## GuitarAngel1979

katiea said:


> Ooh superal you are less than a month older than me! Scary or what!
> 
> I rang the agency yesterday to be told they haven't quite got round to allocating a SW (I probably should have rung before Christmas as we got our copies of the CRB back then) but we will possibly meet him or her before our prep course (starts 2nd Feb) or if not, when we go for the course we'll meet the SW.
> 
> They are sending an official letter to invite us to the course; when we get it I think I'll ring again about starting medicals (husband has diabetes so it could take a while) and to remind them about my overseas CRB equivalent which has actually caused a friend of a friend to be rejected at panel - can you imagine? It wasn't just that but they were so insulting, apparently.


in what case would someone need to have an overseas CRB check? I am an american, married to a british citizen and settled in the UK to like indefinately. Would I have to have one form america, too?


----------



## BunBun

Just a quick update from me - received our form f yesterday seems strange to read about ourselves. As I've been ill with a chest infection it gave me something different to read whilst in bed and I'm surprised by the number of errors in it.


----------



## naoise

Hi girls

Val HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

Amanda welcome to the board looking forward to hearing your story.

I was wondering if anyone knows it looks likely that we are going to matched with the three girls that I was telling you about before Xmas, but I was wondering what way it will work, do you think that we will get an allowance to help us buy things at the start or will we have to buy everything ourselves? Our sw says that they will settle them in with us one at a time as they are all in separate foster homes.  Also they are going to means test us for adoption allowance does any when they do this? Sorry with all the questions but we are planning in our heads how things are giong to work. We are going to have to buy three car seats but where on earth are we going to sit as once we get three seats in the car there is only going to be enough room for one adult. Anyway I have to go thanks.

Love K


----------



## superal

Hi K

I can only speak from our experience which seems so long ago now compared to everyone else but with DS we got a "settling in grant"  this was given to us whilst we were doing introductions.

With DD we were given some money back for some items we bought BUT it was not a lot.

You could always suggest to family and friends that they give you money, or vouchers if you think asking for money is to cheeky.  I'm sure family and friends will want to buy you something for when you get the girls so if you had money or vouchers it would help a lot with things.

We did get a car seat or booster seat of SS when we got our DS, it was brand new and we got that on the first day of contacts.

How old are your girls?

If you have a car that has an air bag in the front and can be turned off (not sure if it has to be switched off) and one of the girls is old enough to sit in the front, then maybe you can get an adult in the middle of the back seat with a girl either side?  Just a thought, I will ask DH about the law over car seats and where they can be placed   

I'm really out of date about allowances and everything, may be it might be worth starting a new thread about this one.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Old Timer

Hi K
Fab news on your 3 girls!  How exciting for you all.

My BIL adopted 3 girls and got lots of help financially including a £10k payment for a new car as they didn't have a 'suitable' family car and 3.5yrs on still does.  Did your LA/VA mention anything about settling in payments at the start of your process?  Our LA pay £600 per child but I know people who have had £300/child and others that have had nothing, all from different areas of the UK.  

Its going to make a big difference to your bills, most families can survive/manage when having 1 addition whichever way they come to you, and I'm sure SS will be realistic about that.  You may have to push for the help but it will give you and your family a better start, time to spend getting to know each other rather than that being hindered by any financial worries.

The SW that did our IV told us that our LA would rather make either a one off payment or a monthly payment to enable an adoption to take place rather than leave children in care as it is better for the children and it also costs more money to keep them in foster care.

Do you know when you will start to meet them and what ages are they?
What a fantastic way to start the New Year!
Love
OT x


----------



## Viva

Hi everyone, 
Just got in from work and starting to relax with a beer and DH is off to run me a bath which can't be bad!

Great news Naiose, but I can see why you're wondering about the financial side? How old are your 3 girsl?

Bun bun, I hope you feel better soon, have just been reading the first information our SW has put together on us, it's strange reading about yourselves in this way. Hope you get all the errors ironed out, when do you go to panel?

Barbarella really great to hear that your Dad is fine, hoping that this will be a really good year for your family!

Katiea, hope you get to meet your SW soon!

Val a belated Happy Birthday, I'm sure your medical will be fine, it sounds like Sunny has settled so well, everyone will be wanting this to go through!

Hello to everyone else...must go jump in that bath!

Love Viva
XXX


----------



## naoise

Hi girls 

Thanks for the replies, I think that I will push my luck with the ss and see what happens as always it is probably who shouts loudest gets, so I will leave that to my dh.

The girls are 2,3 and 4. We are soo excited planning where they are going to sleep and whether they will be able to share a room or if they are used to sharing at their  foster homes as they have never been together it will be a huge adjustment for them. My sw cancelled her visit yesterday as she did not have clearance from the girls sw to give us all the written info she had so I guess that would be their E forms  
So hopefully she will visit next week.

I must go now as at this early hour I am off to work.

LOL K


----------



## sanita

Hello everyone

Thought I'd try and catch up with you all.

Rianna - Anymore news?  Do you have a date for matching panel?  How old are your girls?
I know what you mean about feeling old.  I had a sneaky walk past the local primary school at coming out time this week and some of the mums looked so young.  At almost 40 and 52, DH and I are definitely in for some strange looks.

Jilldill - So glad that Sunshine helped you through Christmas and that 2006 ended on a positive note for you.

Andrea - Is it just me or is everyone going to be 40 this year?  I didn't realise that 1967 was such a year for the birth rate.  At least we are in good company.

Naoise - Definitely push your luck for what you can get.  If you are taking on 3 children, then you should be eligible for some decent allowances.  I too have heard of people getting new cars (people carriers) and even loft extensions.

Val - Belated happy birthday to you.  Hope you didn't have a sore head from the wine.

GuitarAngel - Hello and welcome.  

Barbarella - I hope 2007 is proving to be better for you than the last few days of 2006.  Any bad luck, bad news or illness seems so much worse when the rest of the country is having fun and celebrating.  It's a shame that we can't ban nasty stuff happening for those few days of the year, maybe the EU could bring in one of their batty laws and organise it for us.

Katiea - Glad things are starting to move for you.  February will soon be here and you'll feel like you're on your way.

Old Timer - Good luck for your first prep day next week.

Laine - Hope 2007 is your year.

BunBun - I know just what you mean about reading your Form F.  It's spooky isn't it.

Viva - Can I have your advice on training my DH to run my bath.  What's the secret?  

No news here, we expressed an interest before Christmas in 2 sibling pairs whose Form E's / CPRs we've seen and are waiting to hear if either of their SWs are interested in us.

Have a good weekend everyone.


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Naoise, what great ages!  Wow, its certainly going to be an interesting time ahead for you all.  Do the girls have regular contact with each other?  Do keep us posted.

Sanita, thanks for the good wishes.  Hope you hear something soon.  

Most of the time I feel quite 'old', like about 80!  but I am probably one of the youngest here at 33, DH is 40 next year though.

Hope everyone has a great weekend even though the weather is terrible again.
Love
OT x


----------



## Mummyof2

Bunbun - we had loads of errors in our Form F as well.  My sw asked me to go through and on a separate piece of paper write, page .... line ... should read ......  Took me about 2 hours as there was so many mistakes!!  I never got a chance to read the corrected one as there wasn't enough time left before panel and we had waited 3 months to get to panel as it was.  Hope you get yours corrected soon.

Sanita - hope you hear something soon.  The waiting is very difficult I imagine.

Naoise - how lovely.  Three little girls.  You will find it very challenging having 3 children under 4 but it will all be worth it long term.  My friend had 3 natural children under 5 and found it much easier when the eldest started at school as she could concentrate on the other 2 then.  As you have pointed out, you will need a large car.  We have a Renault Scenic which seats three in the back but you cannot get 3 car seats in the back as the seats are very narrow so the car seats are too wide.  The Renault Espace accommodates 7 people by having 2 seats in the boot area so that would be one car to consider.  At least the 3 and 4 year old will be walking without the need for a pushchair but the 2 year old will need one so you only have to accommodate one buggy in the boot area, something you need to think about if you are having seats in that area too.

Horrible rainy day here. Dh and ds have just come home from football and ds is covered in mud head to toe.  Dh is giving ds a shower and I have just put the clothes in the washing machine but they will need two washes as mud is very difficult to remove.

Bye for now


----------



## Val 12

K: What wonderful news, 3 girls. I thought OMG what a handful when I read your post but I have a friend who has 3 young children as well as a teenager and she says it is easier having 3 young ones together as they play with and look after each other. When her teenager was an only child he was a bit of a handful and she says she wishes she had her children closer together.
I have such a big age gap with my dd and Sunny (age 13 and 19 months), dd is more like another mother type of figure rather than a big sister although they do play a lot together and love each other so much. Dd was a big help yesterday when I tackled my mountain of ironing, she looked after Sunny for me. I had to buy her a new pair of skinny jeans today as a form of payment though. I think she's turning into a bit of a goth because she's wearing black all the time, black eyeliner and she came in with a pair of Dr Marten boots on tonight  

Anyway K let us know how you get on. To take on 3 will save SS a small fortune so the least they can do is buy you a new family sized car. I think peugeot are doing some decent sized people carriers. Renault are always good. I get my new Renault Modus next Friday, can't wait. It's not massive (not big enough for your brood) but at least it's got 4 doors so I don't have to break my back getting Sunny in and out of his car seat.
Sanita: Hope you hear some news soon. The waiting is just awful isn't it? It took 10 months for us to hear anything
Viva: Where did you get your dh from? running your bath indeed, did he wash your back as well?

I'm feeling a bit happier today. I spoke to Sunny's SW who was lovely gave a totally different story to my SW. They said they were more than happy with how Sunny has settled in and had no concerns at all. Perhaps our SW was having a bad day but you think she'd at least be on our side. Did I tell you she wasn't happy that i'd got pg and wasn't using contraception? (even tho i'd miscarried) Apparently the fact I haphazardly got myself pg (after 10 years) might show that we are not 100% comitted to the adoption process.

Anyway enough of me griping i'm off to bed, dh and my mum are watching 'for a few dollars more'!!!!!!! I'm off to read my book. I'm just about to finish 'From here to Maternity' by Sinead Moriarty. It's fab, it's about a couple who adopt a little boy from Russia and then she finds out she is pg. I've read all 3 of her books from trying to get pg (the baby trail) then the adoption process (the perfect match) then finally from here to maternity ( when she adopts and then gets pg). I can so relate so the 3 books I can honestly recommend them and no I don't have shares in them. They make you laugh and cry. Well off to find out what happens at the endd,

Val xxxxx


----------



## cindyp

Unfortunately DS decides to have a lie in and I still wake up     At least it gives me a chance to catch up on the news.

K, congratulations on the news of your new daughters.  I would be surprised if they didn't offer your a settling in grant taking on three siblings.  We never received any financial assistance but then we only took on the one child and our LA is a bit tight.  I think you should point out to them that you will need a lot of stuff, as you said "he who shouts loudest".  My friend had 3 girls within the space of 3 years and she needed a lot of stuff, it should be easier as yours will all be walking but a big car will be a definite.  She has a Ford Galaxy which I believe is a 7 seater.  When is your matching panel and do you have any idea when intros will start?  I'm sure Karen will be able to give you some advice on having siblings placed separately as she went through that with her daughters.

Carole, sorry to hear you and your Dad have been poorly over New Year.  Hope you are feeling better now and looking forward to your first full year as parents.  

Val, belated birthday greetings.  I look back fondly to being 38     Glad you had some more postive vibes from Sunny's SW although it's a shame that your SW had to get you so worried.  Unfortunately I think some of them are more "social worker" than others (if that makes sense  ) and do get very uptight about things upsetting the children.  I think if you had been fortunate enough that your pg had continued it would have had no worse an effect on Sunny than it would on any other child of his age.  I wouldn't worry too much about the "goth" look myself it's body piercings and the "horrible kevin" period that bother me and it sounds like your daughter is still fairly nice.

Sanita/Rianna I know what you mean about being in the school playground (we have quite a few teenage Mums in our village) especially as I'm older than both of you.  I joined the playgroup committee and I'm definitely the oldest on it.  One of the other members was talking about having her daughter on her 21st and I realised that I was old enough to be her mother and the child's grandmother.  However I'm a great believer that you are as old as you feel and as long as you make sure the grey is covered up most people won't question too much  

Andrea, ooh Egypt, I quite fancy that sometime.  My parents went a few years ago and loved it.  Are you sailing down the nile or just staying in a hotel?

LB, sounds like I missed your birthday last month.  LOL at the "blocking it out".  I didn't block my 40th out just used it as an excuse to stretch out the celebrations.  I think I had 4 different celebrations over 3 months.  

Jill, so nice to read your posts these days, you sound so happy.

Jen, I'm almost 44 and like you feel at least 10 years younger (apart from those days where DS has given me no sleep  ).  Hope you get some news soon.

Amanda, welcome to the group, I'm afraid I can't help with your question about the CRB, best to have a word with your LA.

OT, hope your prep course goes well next week.

Katie, hope you get your SW soon, although it's not long till your prep course.

Laine, hope you get some news early this year.  What sort of contact are you getting from your SW?

Bunbun, we had loads of mistakes in our Form F as well.  I think sometimes the SW doesn't get round to typing up her notes till weeks after and then forgets what was said  

Viva, I also have the type of DH who will run me a bath, it's nice isn't it?

We may have some news next week and I will let you know.  I don't want to say more as I'm a bit superstitious about jinxing things and as my DH says we shouldn't count chickens.

Hope everyone else is well.

love to all
Cindy


----------



## Boomerang girl

how long have you beenhere guitar angel? and how much did you move around in the states?  I had been in the uk ten years when we applied so didn't need one.  i do know that if you did come over fairly recently they might do a search, it will be easier for them if you havent had lots of "area changes" in the states
x


----------



## Boomerang girl

'doh just read your sig- my advice would be to mention this to the sw very early on it might be they can do the american end of the police check way early as it will take more time to go abroad. x


----------



## jilldill

Cindy,
I can't wait to hear your news let us know something as soon as you can!!!!
I was exactly the same wouldn't say a word until things were pretty definite but fingers crossed!!!
Love JD xx


----------



## Lauren

Hey everyone!

I know I am so rubbish these days at coming on and posting and with so little time I find it nearly impossible to keep on top of what is happening with everyone - there are so many of us now!

But here I am popping in to say a big hi to everyone and a belated Happy New Year!  May 2007 bring everyone everything they wish for!

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


----------



## naoise

Just popped on to say thanks again for all the advice it makes me glad to have you all as friends even though we will probably never meet. As you can tell I'm a bit emotional today 

love K


----------



## KarenM

Hi Everyone

Sorry I've not been around much this week. We have been trying to have our WI Fi installed but it has been causing us some problems.

Val - sorry to hear about your little setback, hope everything is working out and Sunny can stay with his forever Mummy and Daddy. Belated Birthday wishes 

Rianna - when is matching panel? Good luck

Tracey - Saw your news on the other thread, congratulations

Casey - LOL at your SW visit, sounds a bit like our house today.

Andrea - not long to go now. Dh turns 40 in November along with antoher half a diozen friends this year. We have just used it an an excuse for lots of celebrations.

Naoise - Great news on the girls. PM me if you want to talk about moving in from different FC homes. In hindsight whilst we got our two quickly things perhaps should have been different and maybe wouldn't have caused some of the problems we are now experiencing with the eldest, SW stillmaintains they got it wrong!

We got our settling in grant shortly after they moved in. In terms of adoption allowance they can only do this once the children have been placed and payment is dependent upon a number of factors. See the attached - http://www.opsi.gov.uk/si/si2003/20031348.htm section 3

LB - Happy Belated Birthday wished to you for your 40th

Amanda - Welcome, have posted you on your costs query thread.

Barbarella - hope you and your dad are feeling much better now.

Bun Bun - Have fun reading your form F. When you say errors in it do you mean typo's or gaping holes?

Sanita - hope you hear something soon about the children you have expressed an interest in.

OT - you and your dh are a similar age to me and my dh. I am 34 this year and he is 40 this year.

Jennifer - any news from SW yet. Hope you hear something soon.

Cindy  can't wait to hear your news. Fingers crossed.

Well all back to work and nursery this week. Whilst I've been off I've had to change the school that I have registered my eldest for (can't believe she starts in September) as the previous one now no longer does breakfast and after school club which is the care I need for her. She keeps telling me she can't wait to go to big school.

I'm back on my diet. Decided to take it seriously though, so all the WW books came out on NYD and I started planning my menus. I started back at Rosemary Conley class on Thursday (but doing the WW diet) so I could get my exercise and have the pressure to be weighed in. Have brought a new excercise DVD. Even got DH to shame me into doing it seriously by getting him to photgraph me in my undies (front, side and my mighty rear!). I way alot more than I thought and have been in denial for too long. So new year and hopefully by the end of it a new me. Target loss of 3 stone. However I want to shed 2 stone by 20th April when I am off for an adults only weekend to Salzburg.

Hope everyone else is doing ok. Happy New year to you all

Karen x


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi 

Just popped into have a quick read. Sorry I too have little time for personals, but I do read all your news.

Cindy, Ohhhhhh I can't wait to hear more hun!!!!!

We had a little celerbration as we sold our holiday home on Friday, at last I was soooooooooo pleased as it was cutting it a bit fine, as we complete on our new home and move at the begining of feb, so it is now all systems go. Once we are settled in I am planning to contact our origional LA who has said they would re assess us from April 07 so I will let them know we are ready and waiting. Fingers crossed we dont get anymore set backs.

The weekend has then took a turn for the worse as Dh's dad had to be taken to hospital today, he has been passing blood, hopefully we will know more tomorrow when he is seem by the surgical Dr's who are planning to pass a camera and find out the cause. I just pray it is nothing serious, DH lost his mum 4 years ago and it deverstated him. This would be so hard for him if it is anything serious.

TTFN PBMxxxxx


----------



## GuitarAngel1979

Boomerang girl said:


> 'doh just read your sig- my advice would be to mention this to the sw very early on it might be they can do the american end of the police check way early as it will take more time to go abroad. x


I have been here nearly three years. But have had CRB checks done in both america and the UK as I am a teacher. Neither of the two schools I have taught within the UK asked for a CRB check from america for me to work there with their children. But I did have to have a CRB check from the UK to teach here. I cannot remember if I had to have one done to move to the UK? I will have to check that one. But, of course if there were a red flag on myself, the embassy would not have approved my application to move here to the UK..

Thanks everyone for the warm welcomes!


----------



## Mummyof2

Karen - wow, how brave to have those photos taken      I need to lose a few stone as well.  I did very well last year and lost 1st 2lbs but just over a year later it has crept slowly back on    Still plodding through xmas chocs but have passed some over to ds who does swimming and plays footie plus lots of running about.  Dh has started jogging again to try and lose his xmas bulge.  No news from sw but we go to adoption support Thursday night so will see if we hear any more re the toddler boys waiting to be placed, then.

PBM - hope it is nothing serious with dh's dad.

Hi to everyone else.

Bye for now


----------



## saphy75

Hi everyone, Happy new year (sorry i'm a bit late)

wow so much going on with you all at the mo. chunk is sleeping but he never sleeps for long so sorry no personals 

chunk has taken his first wobbly steps   i don't think it will be long before he is racing round the house, hopefully i will lose some weight keeping up with him   

i think i can hear someone babbling in his cot so i better go

i'll try to post more when i get time  

pam xx


----------



## fiona1

Hi All,

Sorry i have been a bit rubbish with posting, i do look in and my New Years Resolution will be to post more (and loose weight)

1st Home Visit over today and it all went  well, meeting again next week and hopfully go to panel on 30th April.

Sorry for no personnels, i promise to get better at this from now on. 

Hi to everyone

Take Care

Fiona


----------



## TraceyH

Hi All

Today we had our Information Sharing Meeting and the Planning Meeting.  It was exhausting but we have our introductions planned out.  It all got quite emotional and the foster mother and I both ended up in tears.  I don't doubt that the intros will be difficult as they are so attached but our main focus is our little boy and if we keep that in mind we should hopefully we can get through it.

Anyway I am off for a hot bath, glass of wine and an early nite.

Tracey x


----------



## jilldill

Hi Tracey,
Glad it went well, it is all very emotional. Our FC said we hadn't to worry if she had a few tears on the day we took Sunshine home for good but it was DH and I who were in tears!! The FC ended up hugging us and saying "go and start your lives now"!!! Which is what we have done!
Lots of love JD x


----------



## LB

Hi Ladies

just wanted a quick word with the ladies starting their diets - my experience last year is not meant to put you off just to give you a reason not to go to wild 
i joined slimming club last year and don't know wether it's my age or what - but i was losing weight and following the programme - the weight was dropping off nicely when i started having problems with my tummy - lots of trips to doctors and tests etc - was eventually diagnosed with gallstones and am now waiting op for gall bladder removal 
Doctor did mention my weight loss (a bit quick) may have had an adverse effect - saying goes fair fat and forty for gallstones!
as  i say ladies don't let this put you off put if you need a wee treat be sure to have one 
i am going to rejoin slimming club after my operation! - would like to lose about stone and a half and i'll be happy  - at least i can't get gallstones twice with no gall bladder!

best wishes to everyone
LB
X


----------



## superal

Cor this is unusual..........this post is a bit quiet, usually when I log on there are loads of new messages and there isn't any!  WHERE ARE YOU ALL? 

Cindy:- Can't wait for you to share your news with us, let us know as soon as you can!! (OR ELSE!!)

Tracey:- Good luck with introductions, I would be telling a lie if I said introductions are not hard.  I think the hardest bit and everyone I think will agree is the fact that your in some one else's house.  Both our FC were nice but it was just good to get our children home with us.

Fiona;_  Panel in April, not long really when you think about it and then your adventure really begins, good luck.

Pam:-  I can not believe that Chunk is taking a few wobbly steps.  They don't stay babies for long do they?  One minute they are babes in arms and next minute they are crawling and then toddling, you'll have your hands full then when he's in to every thing he couldn't get to before BUT we wouldn't have it any other way would we? I'm sure you don't need to loose weight but hey if you do what a great way to do it by chasing after YOUR son.

Jennifer :- Hope the adoption support night brings some news your way,,,,,,you never know,  We found out about our DS after an adoption night, it was spooky ,well it was halloween!!

Sorry no more personals, the builders want something, YES they are still here, should have been finished for Christmas but with one thing and another and the weather its going to be February, oh well never mind it will be good when it's finished.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## gap

Hello to everyone   ... I'm new to this board and I'm looking for some advice on what sort of questions i should be asking LA's the first time I call for info on adoption.  I'm sorry if this sounds really basic, it's a new journey for us after tx for years.


----------



## sanita

Hi gap and welcome

I would be asking LAs about timescales.  When is there next preparation course planned for?  There are now guidelines in existence about processing prospective adopters to approval within 8 (?) months, but some LAs seem to get around this, by not asking you to fill in the application forms until you have already done the prep course and they are ready to allocate a SW to start your Home Study part of the assessment.  

Are they interested in taking on new adopters for the type / age group of child you are looking for?  Some LAs close their books to adopters looking for healthy white babies.

Are they friendly and responsive to your contact with them?  Do they seem like the kind of people you can put up with in your lives for a long time?  Sometimes this is more important that how quick they can process you.

They will probably send you out an info pack or invite you to an open evening.

Good luck and I hope someone else comes up with some suggestions for you, I've got brain ache today after a rather sleepless night.


----------



## gap

Thanks for the info sanita ... hope the ache gets better!


----------



## magenta

hello everyone!

no time to write all the messages that I want to /should but thought i'd take 2 minutes to say hello and let you know you aren't forgotten.  Life as a new mum is busy.  I have gotten past the 'hectic and exhausted' stage but i am still tired running after Bubbles all day and keeping her out of trouble.  She certainly is an active wee soul  however I wouldn't have her any other way.  She has got 5 new teeth (6th is on it's way) since she arrived in mid november and is definately growing up quickly...it won't be long til she has a full mouth of teeth and i can take 'calpol' off the shopping list.

Anyway...love to you all - especially those just starting out.  I know it can be a scarey time when you first start on the adoption journey as it seems so long nad complicated and each agency does things differently so it is harder to compare...but hold in there.  We got our gorgeous daughter in under 2 years from our first phonecalls of enquiry and she is everything we could have every dreamed.

Big hugs and large mugs of tea to all the other mummies, especially my fellow 'new mummies' from October, november and December last year.

magenta xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Gap - welcome to you.  I think you've already been told the most pertinent questions by Sanita so I'll keep quiet on that.  Our LA asked us lots of questions first of all when I rang up to ask to be sent some literature.  It was a bit unexpected so I didn't get much chance to ask them questions  .  They sent a booklet out which answered most of my questions later on though.  The main thing you might not know is that you have to leave 6-12 months between finishing treatment and applying to go on list for adoption.  I see your dh is 42 so I want to reassure you that there is no age limit any more to adopting.   All the best to you.

Magenta - thanks for updating us on Bubbles.  She sounds great.

No news here.

Bye for now


----------



## Misty C

Hi everyone

Don't think you will remember me as I posted last year when DH and I started down the adoption road.  I have had a quick run through on all the news in this thread and its all positively fantastic!   Panel approvals, matchings even the sniffles and teething are all sounding good to me - congratulations to everyone who are getting nearer their goal or reached it! .  

We attended our prep course Oct 06 and had a SW visit just before Christmas and yesterday.  We completed and signed our adoption forms then (wheyhey) and SW are now free to complete their checks.  Regular meetings will now take place starting with me next week (gulp ).  DH and I have to write an A4 page (individually) on what we are like and why we think we would make good parents - I think that may be much harder than it first sounded.  The plan of action is that all our forms will be completed by June and everything will be forwarded to adoption Panel in July - fingers crossed.

Will do my best to keep up to date on everyone as I now feel we have really started the journey.

Love 'n' hugs
Misty C
xxx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi everyone,

hope everyone is well....seems so from the posts. Sorry i haven't been on for a while, but been really busy. Had a very mixed time of it lately. Christmas and new year were wonderful. everythign i had hoped our first christmas with Boo would be. up early tearing open presies, eating lots and playign games.

Then started back at work in january, so boo is at nursery 3.5 days a week. even though i am really enjoy being back at work, its really hard being away from boo all day. he loves his nursary, but seems to take at least 15 minutes to warm up to me after i pick him up.

other good news is that the courts now have all his paperwork, so the next free slot they have we'll be called in to do the final bit to make him ours forever. we're plannign a bit of a party in feb for family, and have picked two of our favourite people to be his "godless godparents" not that we're atheists or anything, but not plannign a christening yet.

on the other side of the coin, we were burgaled on monday night. I heard a loud bump which woke me. i thought it was boo falling out of bed. but then heard next doors dog barking. sent DH down to check it out, and he found lots of stuff gone and the backdoor open. Lots of annoying but replaceable stuff gone like laptop mobiles etc. But I had been training the night before and left my wedding ring on the mantlepiece, so that was gone too   didn't think I was that attached to it, but really miss it no.w It was a bit unusual too so don't think I'll be able to find an equivalent  

The ba$tard$ also took random stuff like our sky viewing card.....surely they must have known we'd cancel it straigt away, maybe they were hoping to get a couple of movies in before we did?? 

anyway, just thought I'd get on here as hadn't been on for so long....welcome to all the new folk on here, and hope everyone is enjoying 2007 so far,
xxxruthie


----------



## Mummyof2

Misty - congratulations on starting your home study.  I well remember doing all those sessions - lots of writing!

Ruthie - I am very sorry to hear that you have been burglared.  How dreadful for you.  Hugs to you all for the upset.  Glad that they had gone before dh went downstairs   Hope the   get them


----------



## magenta

ruthie - so sorry to hear about your burglary.  it must have been really frightening and upsetting.  I hope you can persude your insurers to pay for a 'like for like' replacement of your ring so that you can get one made to look the same.  (Not sure if you would want this but my friend got her replacement wedding ring blessed by her priest which i thought was nice as it made it feel more 'real' IYSWIM.)

all the best with the court stuff.  We are hoping to get the paperwork co-ordinated at our February review team meeting ready to lodge with the courts as soon as 17 weeks is up.  Only bad bit is that court waiting times here seem to be long so they don't expect it will go through til spring/summer (boo hiss).

magenta xx


----------



## saphy75

Ruthie really sorry to read you were burgled hun   i hope you manage to find a replacement wedding ring  

Magenta soryy if i'm being    but wht does IYSWIM mean ?? it's probably really obvious and i'll be   when you tell me   

pam xx


----------



## ~Twinkle~

Hi Girls,

hope you are all well! just wanted to send Ruthiebabe a big  sorry to read your news, I pray they retrieve your personal items hun. Hope boo is enjoying her nursery.

Once I get to know everyone will do more personals, once ball starts rolling.

As for us we got our first SW call today   for our first home visit for two weeks time, at least we are now on the path ...

Take care girls, sending butterfly hugs to you all.
God bless
luv
~Twinkle~x


----------



## jilldill

Hi All,
Ruthie I am sorry what a horrible thing to happen

Take care love JD x


----------



## gap

JenniferF said:


> Gap - The main thing you might not know is that you have to leave 6-12 months between finishing treatment and applying to go on list for adoption. I see your dh is 42 so I want to reassure you that there is no age limit any more to adopting.  All the best to you.
> 
> Jennifer - thanks for the info on time laps after tx to when you can apply to LA .... do you know if this time issue is the same in every LA, we are based in scotland?
> 
> thanks
> Gap


----------



## Mummyof2

Gap - all LAs in England and Wales seem to have this ruling re waiting times, not sure about Scotland but I am sure that someone from Scotland will let you know soon.  I would think it would be the same though as the time is supposed to be to let you come to terms with not having any more treatment/a birth child before starting down the adoption path.

Saphy/Pam - those abbreviations mean if you see what I mean.  

Twinkle - well done on getting your first sw visit lined up.  

Bye for now


----------



## BunBun

Ruthie - so sorry to hear that you've been burgled. Hope Boo is settling in at nursery.
Twinkle - good luck with your first home visit.
Misty - good luck with your home study. We finished ours just before christmas & I can say I definately don't miss all the homework that we were set.
Gap - hello and welcome.
Hello to everyone else and I hope you are all well.


----------



## saphy75

Thanks Jennifer i feel   now as it should of been obvious really      never mind i still got baby brain, does anyone know how long this will last or is it just a permanent part of being a parent  

pam xx


----------



## Boggy

Hi everyone

In answer to Gap's question about waiting times in Scotland between the end of treatment and start of adoption process....we didn't go through any treatment, and at no time were told of any length of time we should wait between finding out we would never conceive and applying for adoption.  We left it 2 days!  When we attended the info night, we were asked to fill in a form stating the date we reached a conclusion with our fertility problems.  I have my suspicions that they took this date into account when assigning people to prep groups, because we are still waiting 7 months later but as far as i know there are no official written rules.  We are applying through our local L.A.

Hope that helps

Boggy.


----------



## fiona1

Cindy - Wow fab news i have everything crossed for you.

Ruthie - So sorry to hear your news, it must be horrid, i am thinking of you.

Twinkle - Good luck with you nome visit, we are only just ahead of you, and have completed our 1st one.

Misty - Good luck with your journey, you are well on your way now.

Well our 1st visit wasn't quite as planned, we went to SW office and she came to our house!!! we had to bomb it home and started and hour and a half late. Oh well at least she got to see the house unprepared and it wasn't too much of a state.

Hope you are all well.

Fiona


----------



## cindyp

Fiona, thanks for the good wishes, shame about the SW mix up.  Things can only get better from now on.

Ruth, how awful to be burgled.  It's never happened to me but it's happened to my friend 3 times although never when they were in the house.  Unfortunately it's the sentimental things like your ring which are the hardest to replace.  I hope you can find something that's close.  Good news on getting your Court date arranged for Boo.  It is so nice to get that final hurdle over with.

Karen, you are so brave getting Rich to photo you, I'm not sure I'm up to that but it's a good idea, less chance of denial.  Best of luck with losing the stones before your trip.

Pam, now he's moving there will be no stopping him    You're not the only one with baby brain as I hadn't worked out the abbreviation either.

Jen, hope tonight's meeting is going well.

Tracey, you are right to keep your focus on your little boy.  The intros will be tiring and emotionally draining but they will definitely be worth it.

LB, that is a bit of a scary story.  I'm fat and 40 but not fair so maybe I'll be safe.  Hope you don't have to wait too long for your op.

Andrea, ah the lovely builders. I have just come to the fact that all tradesmen never stick to the times they say.  How long till your birthday trip?

Magenta, ah bless your cotton socks.  Calpol NEVER comes off the shopping list.  Unfortunately teething is followed by all the little bugs they pick up from the other kids.  As another Mum of an "active" child, hectic is just something you get used to. 

Misty, sounds like you are well on your way.

Sanita, any news?

Twinkle, congratulations on getting things started.

Hello to everyone else.

As some already know I've posted my news on a new thread.

love
Cindy


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hi ladies

Ruthie- im so sorry to hear that you were burgled- it happened to a friend of mine when she was preg and home alone(they came in twice) like you its more the sentimental things that got her

cindy- fabs news that you may have a match- fingers crossed

hi to everyone else- hope your all well

we got a call on tue for the SW(well 2 of them) to come out and meet us- its not for another 2weeks as we live about an hour away from the LA we are going with - any words of wisdom would be welcome!

xxx


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Ruthie, so sorry you've been burgled, must be horrid.  Hope you are all OK.

Fiona, hope your visit went well once it got started.

MJ, your visit will be hear before you know it.  Just be yourselves and unless you have a better memory than the rest of us, don't bother getting nice biscuits!  Ours lasted 2.5hours and we talked about all sorts, our experience of children, why we wanted to adopt, a bit about our ivf and how we had come to the decision to stop, ages and number of children we were thinking of, family and support network, how long we'd been together and then a quick look round the garden and house.  The time went really quick and we asked questions as they arose.  Good luck with your journey.

So no more personnals, got our first prep day tomorrow and need to go do some reading.
Love
OT x


----------



## Mummyof2

Boggy - it's different if you haven't had any treatment as you can start straight away down the adoption path in England and Wales and Scotland, as it is thought you aren't desperate to have a birth child at any cost or you would have had some treatment so you are deemed "suitable" to begin without coming to terms with "treatment failed" baggage.


----------



## Boggy

thanks for that - would you believe that we have never actually been asked about our history (been with the LA for 7 months!) so they wouldn't know if we had had treatment or not.   

I think it's probably a good thing that we've been left hanging around a while, even if it's really frustrating as we need to move out the area in a couple of years due to my DH job.  We've been told treatment is not possible in our circumstances (DH azoospermia, and thought to be non-obstructive and probs with me too).  It's very much been a bereavement we've been through but now time has moved on, and I'm getting fed up getting butterflies every day waiting to see if we have a letter saying we can start prep groups.  

Good things come to those who wait I guess!  

Bx


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Boggy
Have you spoken to your LA or emailed them for an update?  Not sure how different it is in Scotland but our LA were very good at responding to emails.

Well, we have just got back from our first prep day and found it very interesting and positive.  Feels good to actually be doing something other than reading books and we seem to have a good group with a mixture of ages, backgrounds and experiences.  Wish we didn't have to wait another week before the next one but have plenty of reading to do in between.

Love
OT x


----------



## Boggy

Hello again!

We got a letter from our LA in November to say they would be in touch after the New Year with dates for the prep group, so that's why I'm getting desperate!  If I haven't heard anything by the end of next week I'll phone them.

In the meantine, I've spent a fortune on books from BAAF to keep me busy!  I bought one called "Related by Adoption: A guide for grandparents and other relatives".  My parents have read it and highly recommend it.  I'll add a few reviews once i get through a few more!

Bx


----------



## Misty C

Hi everyone

Hope you are all keeping well, the weather here has been awful and DH found someone's shed roof in our garden.

*Ruthie * - sorry to read your wedding ring was stolen in the burglary. Good news that Boo's paperwork is nearly complete - a party sounds a great idea to celebrate.

*Jennifer F* - home study/I tried to jot down some words on how wonderful I am (OK on how wonderful I am really SUPPOSED to be) and only managed 4 measly words - definitely a bit of a mental block with this bit. I will need to get a little more guidance on what they are really looking for.

*Magenta * - what a shame you have to wait so long for the court paperwork to be processed. We live just outside Glasgow so I would now expect to have a wait should we be blessed with getting to your stage. Best of luck.

*Twinkle * & *Fiona * - we seem to be adoption buddies, we had our first official visit on the 12 of December.

*Gap * - when we first enquired about adoption SW said we could not continue with fertility treatment if we wanted to adopt. We had already decided to stop treatments so this wasn't a problem for us.

*Bunbun * - the thought of home study is certainly making me feel a bit queasy - I am hoping it goes along very quickly and I hate being the centre of attention. I even wanted a stand in for my wedding!

*Cindy * - will track down your thread although from MJ's post it sounds like amazing news!

*MJ * - 2 social workers, my goodness! Hope it all goes well.

*Old timer* - glad the prep course went well, don't forget to take contact details along for your last meeting with info such as e-mail, telephone etc. There was a mad scramble at the end of our meeting for this and lots of people couldn't remember e-mails or mobile nos.

*Boggy * - looking forward to reading your reviews.

A big hi to *Jilldill*, *Pam * and anyone else I may have missed.

Love 'n' hugs
Misty C
xxx


----------



## jan welshy

Just finished 3 day prep course, very tired but are sure this is our journey to parenthood.
Hope you are all well.
Love
WelshyX


----------



## Old Timer

HI Ladies
Quiet on here at the moment, hope everyone has had a good weekend.

Misty C, do you mean for swopping with the other couples?  There are definately some we will hopefully stay in touch with but not sure about all of them.....we'll see.

Boggy, I bought that book to for my family to read.  We have a number of books to read and have also borrowed 4 from the prep group so will be busy.  Happy reading.

Welshy, well done on finishing your prep course.  Wish mine wasn't so spaced out!  Oh well, only another 4 days until the next bit....

Off to do some more reading...
Love
OT x


----------



## saphy75

Hi guys

i just wanted to let you know i have set up a thread in the "parenting adopted chidren thread" for all us who have our children placed to chat about them and general parenting stuff (everyone is welcome not just us parents) i have set it up as i feel that it can be hard on those still waiting for their babes if i go on too much about chunk on this thread (hope this makes sense, i'm crap with words) and i don't feel comfortable posting on the babydust board (my fault entirely the girls on there are lovely) anyhow i hope to see some of you over there 

Welshy congrats on finishing the prep group hun, on to the next step now  

pam xx


----------



## superal

Hi ..........  Only a short meassage.

Welshy: well done on the prep course.

Pam:  Loved your idea of another thread, have posted on it!

Hello to everyone else, 6 more sleeps then I'm off on holiday, I think my family are more than ready for a break now.  A week tomorrow and I turn the BIG 40!  ITS ONLY A NUMBER!!!!   
Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## fiona1

Saphy 

I am in a slightly different position as i have a DS, but i like reading peoples parenting stories, it gives me a boost to know it will happen, and that when it does it won't be plain sailing, I think when i have following someone going through their home study, panel, waiting for their placement and eventually becoming a mummy after many years, reading their paretning issues is nice.

I know not everyone may feel like this and understand why you have started another thead. 

It's another thread i have to remember to check everyday 

Fiona


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi everyone, been away for the weekend.

Welshy - well done on finishing your prep course.

OT/MistyC - we swapped phone nos with everyone at the end of our prep course but no one ever rang us from our group (and we rang no one either) since then!  Still, it was nice to know that we could ring someone if we wanted to.  I just feel it would be so depressing to ring someone and know that they have got their child and we are still waiting for ours.

MistyC - my dh and I jotted down each others good points and bad points and then we wrote about each other incorporating those into our descriptions.  It is much easier to write about someone else than yourself!  Of course we saw what the other had written and could edit it if we felt we needed to.  That was the main thing that came out of our homework really - it reminded us why we fell in love with each other and were together now, so that was nice.

Boggy - I should ring your LA.  I've found you need to keep chasing or you get forgotten.

Saphy - I am in the same position as Fiona with a 5 year old natural ds already so do not mind in the slightest hearing about other children and, like Fiona, it inspires me to believe it will happen to me someday.  But I can see why some might not feel so happy to read about it as not being a mother yet can be a very emotive and painful subject.

As for us, we went to the adoption support evening last week but nothing was mentioned at all about the 3 boy toddlers coming through the system so we are no further forward.  As it was a room full of people we did not like to bring it up ourselves but I will send an email asking about them, at the end of this month.  Spoke to my mum over the weekend and she said she was hoping for a girl  

Bye for now


----------



## saphy75

Hello ladies and gents

sorry i didn't mean to cause more reading for you all   i am in no way suggesting that people shouldn't post about their little ones on here as i'm sure we will all post about our children on this thread still, it's just nice to have a thread where we can share everyday stuff too  

OT/Misty we too swapped numbers with lots of people on our prep group but haven't bothered keeping in touch  i know some of them do keep in touch though 

pam xx


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Its interesting to hear that most don't stay in touch, I was hoping that was the case really.  I don't mind giving out my number/email but don't want to end up with people latched onto me that I wouldn't rather chat to - hope that doens't sound nasty!  I'd rather just give the details out to those who we 'click' with and are likely to contact.  Thanks.

Pam, don't feel you can't post about chunk on here hun.  Its so lovely to read of the happy endings and how things are going, it gives us that are still waiting or just starting out the hope that one day we to will have our littles.  Your stories have kept me going over the last 6 months and we've all been through so much before coming down this path that the happy stories are really special.

Love
OT x


----------



## saphy75

OT i'll always post about chunk on this thread hun, i just don't want to bog the thread down with all my waffle, also if someone is having a bad day/week then they don't always want to read about my little mans escapades   
it's hard to explain really i just felt i needed a thread where i belong not that i don't belong here (i'm so crap at getting my point accross) but i wanted to keep it on the adoption thread as i know how i have enjoyed reading about others angels and i hope that our stories give you all encouraement and strength when you need it and help remind you why you are sat sharing the most intimate parts of your life with a stranger   

pam xx


----------



## TraceyH

Hi All

We are now one week into introductions and they are going really well. We are completely exhausted as we are doing 100 miles a day - but it is well worth it.  Next week won't be so bad as the foster parents are travelling to us most of the time and before we know it, it will be the 26th and we will be bringing our son home for good.

Barbarella and Jill you were right about Day 4, we took our little boy to the farm on our own for the day and it was so hard leaving him, I cried all the way home.

I am now going to soak in a hot bath and have an early night, we have a rest day tomorrow so I can get some jobs done.  My family have been really good and done a huge pile of washing and ironing for us.

Good luck to everyone.

Tracey x


----------



## jilldill

Hi Tracey,
That's wonderful that intros are going so well, you must be tired with the added travelling. Don't worry about the day 4 thing it fades into nothing once they are home with you but upsetting at the time I know only too well.
Take care and can't wait to hear more when you have the energy
Lots of love JD x


----------



## saphy75

Tracey i'm so pleased your intros are going well hun, the 26th will be here before you know it 

pam xx


----------



## jan welshy

Tracey, so pleased the intro's are going so well. I never doubted they wouldn't.
Now busy cleaning out he house hoping home studies will start soon, How optimistic or naive are we?
L
WelshyXXXXXXXXX


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi All,

Just to let you know i called our LA today and we have just been given a date for prep group in April, yipeeeeeeeeeee. So we are on our way to a brother or sister for pooh bear.

TTFN PBMxxxx


----------



## jilldill

Hi PBM,
That's great, why do you have to do the prep course again that seems ridiculous to me I thought you didn't have to do that 2nd time round!
Love JD x


----------



## superal

HI PGM

I was wondering the same thing as Jilldill.

We didn't have to go on a prep course again, but it is a few years ago now and I wonder if it is because of all the new law changes for adoption?

Cindy, did you go on a prep course again for number 2?

Tracey; glad intros are going well, the 26th will soon be here.  Just enjoy your time with your son and try to relax when you can.  I don't know about the day 4 thing as I cried on day 1!! On day 4 we got to bring our DD home and I did cry but it was just relief to be bringing her home.

Hi to everyone.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## cindyp

Just a quickie whilst Thomas the Tank Engine is on  

Tracey, glad the intros are gong so well.  It is rather tiring when you have to travel so much, I remember it was an hour's drive each way for Junior's intros and that was bad enough.  Are you going to be doing an early start where they will need to put you in a B&B?  At least it's not long until the 26th.

PBM, good news about the prep course, you are finally on the way.

Andrea/Jill I didn't have to do a prep course again because I was assessed by the same LA as before.  I'm sure PBM won't mind me telling you that the reason she has to do the prep course is because she has had to go to a different LA this time as the waiting time for her original LA was so long.

Still waiting to hear something, frustrating doesn't cover it  

Hope everyone else is well.

love
Cindy


----------



## LB

Hi Ladies

Tracey - so pleased your intros are going great if a little tiring - enjoy your day off  - girls are right it won't be long till your babe is home for good 

Superal - have a lovely holiday and enjoy your birthday too  

pbm - great news on the prep course - it will soon fly round.

hi to everyone - hope you are all having a good week.

My operation in on Thursday and even though i am not looking forward to it  i will be pleased when it is all over with.


LB
X


----------



## LB

Hi Cindy 

I know you know this but

Best things come to those who wait...............................
and wait......................
and wait...................


 

seriously hope you hear something really soon - keeping it crossed for you

LB
X


----------



## Mummyof2

Tracey - sounds like the intros are going really well 

LB - hope the operation is a success.

I emailed my LA and asked for an update on potential matches.  Got an email back from family finding team saying talks are in progress with our sw but nothing definite yet.  If I've heard nothing during the next 2 weeks, I'm to email again for an update.  Fingers crossed!

Bye for now


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Tracey, great news that the intros are going well, the 26th will soon be here!

LB - Good luck with your op, hope it all goes OK.

Jennifer, hope you hear some positive things soon.  Must be hard knowing they are 'talking' but at least you know things are going on in the background.

Cindy, hope you hear something soon too.

PBM, good luck with your prep course.

Really looking forward to our next prep day on Friday.
Love
OT x


----------



## Barbarella

Hi Everyone

Sorry been quiet... am just so busy - the internet is no longer at the top of my priorities any more...    

Bea is going from strength to strength.  It would have been my late Nan's birthday today - and I'm convinced she sent us Bea, so we took Bea to where her ashes are and said Happy Birthday and thank you for giving us our daughter.  I was quiet emotional as you can imagine. I was with my Mum and Dad, and my Mum said it seems strange crying to a bush (we planted that near her ashes).. which had us in hysterics!!  Bea's top 2 teeth are coming through now, so we're off our food and not sleeping as much during the day BUT we still get a full 13/14 hours sleep in the night, so not complaining at all.

Anyway, just a few mentions - sorry I can't do too many, but dh is waiting for me to clean the kitchen floor.. as he's just come in from work and hoovered it.. so best show willing.

Tracey - so glad the intros are going well.  I just know exactly how you feel right now - we were travelling about the same distance - and the 2nd week we had to do double trips as the FC only came to us once.  It was so hard.. but let me tell you, whatever sleeping they do (and we are VERY lucky), it is even more tiring when they come home - BUT the best feeling in the world, so it just doesn't matter!!

Pam - thank you for setting up that thread - I will still continue to post bits and bobs here, but I am also sensitive to other people's needs, and realise that not everyone wants to hear it all the time, while they are still waiting.  So I will be posting on that thread too.  Thanks.

Superal - will reply to your email before you go away - only 5 sleeps to go now isn't it...  I am jealous.. LOL. 

Ruthie - really sorry to hear you were burgled, that is awful... especially when they take sentimental stuff.. hope it's getting sorted now.  

LB - good luck for your operation.

To everyone going through the process and still waiting for matches, wishing you lots and lots of love and luck.. and hope your dreams are answered in 2007.

Love C xx


----------



## naoise

Hi girls

Tracey soo glad your intros are going well, must be very tiring but exciting.

Ruthie sorry to hear you were burgled it must have been awful for you, hope they get the pigs.

Jennifer hope that you get some news soon it is very frustrating knowing that are talking and not telling you anything.

OT glad you are looking forward to your next prep course day.

Superal have a lovely holiday you lucky duck.

LB all the best for your operation and heres to a quick recovery.

We have no news here really waiting for our sw to ring tomorrow, and hopefully she will call round to see us on Friday with more info, it just seems that they are soo slow and seem to be in no hurry to get things going I mean you would think that now we have been matched that things would move along. 
What is the average time between being matched and actually getting to meet them? Sorry I am getting really frustrated at the minute. We are going away for the weekend so that will be nice, we are just going to the south of Ireland but the hotel is lovely.

 to everybody at whatever stage you are at.

love k


----------



## superal

Hi everyone

Cindy I also went with another LA to the one we got DS with and didn't have to do prep course again, I suppose every where is different.  Hope you hear some thing soon, will read your thread in a minute and watch there be a message on it! 

Naoise I can only answer for myself on the bit about being m,atched and then meeting your children,  With DS we were matched in the October and met him in the January, so 3 - 4 months.  With DD we were matched in the March (we didn't know that bit!) and met her in the June.  We were told about DD in may about 5 weeks before we met her.

Molly2003, I have sent you an e-mail.

Barbarella, don't worry about replying to e-mails I know you are busy!!

Ruthie, I was sorry to read about your burglary.  DH used to have to go to them quite a lot and he said it upset him seeing the people whose house had been broken into get upset, material things can be replaced its the sentimental things that upset you most. I hope they catch some one for it! 

PBM good luck with the prep course, at least this time you'll know what to expect!

Hi to everyone else, I will try to catch up with your news before I go away, 4 more sleeps, we fly on Sunday & I will be spending my 40th birthday on a beech!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Misty C

Hi everyone

*Cindy * - tracked down your thread and am patiently waiting for news. Best of luck. xx Just had a look at your thread and am chuffed to bits for you congratulations and goodluck in Feb with matching (I always have 'notify' on each thread I am interested in but it only works on one so missed your post yesterday).

*Jan/Welshy * - wow prep course seems to have been very intense, did you find it enjoyable as well as exhausting? We found it really enjoyable & completely exhausting! It's so good to see another ex- 'donor egg' buddy on a similar path. I think you may have read that Ange K has now been approved at panel which is great news.

*OT * - we swapped our e-mail/tel no with anyone who wanted this & people that we would like to stay in touch with. There are only two couples who we e-mail/meet up. It turned out we have a lot in common apart from going through the adoption process e.g. similar ages, journey to adoption decision, areas of work and we girls like to meet and have a good old natter. Its been nice to take it one step further and actually meet people in the same position. I didn't appreciate how alone I had felt until I came across FF approx a year ago so this is wonderful. Enjoy your prep course.

*Pam * - thank you for setting up the new thread and I am looking forward to the day I get to post on it as a actual mum.

*Superal/Andrea* - enjoy your forthcoming holiday and 40ooohh, really enjoyed my day and subsequent 2 weeks of celebrations&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..

*JenniferF* - thank you so much for the information, maybe DH & I will feel the same way about each other once we have completed our report! It will make it much easier to write about DH's good points and not so good points so that's exactly how we will do it. Thanks again. Hope the matching team get in touch soon with you.

*TraceyH* - how lovely to read that 'intros' have gone so well. Its not long at all until your son comes home. Will be thinking of you on the 26th. xx

*Pooh Bears Mum* - great news on your prep course, can't wait to hear how you enjoy this in April.

*LB * - good luck with the operation - will be thinking of you. xx

*Barbarella * - it was lovely to read your story of your Nan - it did make me laugh although I know it must have been a sad day. Wow, Bea can sure sleep!

*Naoise * - enjoy Ireland, it's such a beautiful country. I hope the SW had good news for you.

Nearly forgot to give you a me/us update: met SW for one to one yesterday, everything was going fine until we started to discus my m/c in June last year. I just couldn't stop bubbling which of course made it hard to talk. I am so annoyed at myself because I know its something that will always make me sad but I know I have moved on. I am now worried that SW (who is really lovely) may delay our application until I can talk about this sad time without such emotion.

Love & hugs to everyone
Misty C
xxxx


----------



## Mummyof2

Misty - glad to have been of help.  Don't worry about crying about the mc.  Shows that you can let your feelings out and that you are a caring sort of person and not hard hearted.  I still find it difficult to talk about my miscarriages and they were not as recent as yours.

I've got news    ..... Finally  

We are being considered for a little boy who will be 2 in March which is spooky as my natural ds will be 6 in March and the birthdays are only 4 days apart!  Don't know any more than that at this point as our sw has only just rung.  She is sending his details to us through the post and will be meeting us here next Wednesday to show us a video and dvd of him.  At this stage she just wants to know if we are interested or not so we are not at the being matched stage, just being considered as we are top of the waiting to be matched list (for boys - not girls - longer list for girls apparently) so ...... exciting but might all come to nothing so I'm trying not getting my hopes up yet.


----------



## Misty C

JenniferF - great news, I understand your excitement and will keep everything crossed that it all goes well.  You've made me feel a little better about my 'tears and snotters' I just hope its not going to be a weekly thing on my part, I am normally much more together!
Love
Misty C
xxx


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Jennifer - oh wow...so pleased for you! Can't wait to hear more  

LB - hope your operation goes ok.

Andrea - Enjoy your 40th birthday...on a beach eh.... 

Pam - just been reading the new thread...great idea!

C - lovely to hear from you and about your nan.

Ruthie - sorry about the burglary, how awful for you.

Jan - well done on finishing your Prep Course.  Bet you can't wait to start your HS?

PBM - good news on your Prep Course date.

Tracey - lovely to hear about your intros. The 26th will soon be here...mummy!

Cindy - any more news?

OT - glad you are enjoying your Prep Course.

Boggy - welcome to the thread  

K - hope you hear from your sw tomorrow.  Have a nice time in Ireland, where abouts are you going?

Misty - try not to worry about getting upset about your M/C, it is only natural.  I am sure your sw will be ok.

We have been given a new link sw, who works for our LA (our previous one was a sessional sw).  Going to be meeting her at the end of January.    

Laine


----------



## naoise

Jennifer that is great news lets hope that the little boy is the one for you all.
I bet you will be watching the post box avidly. Its hard not to get your hopes up isn't.

Laine we are off to leitrim which is about a 2.5 hour drive from here so hoping dh can leave work early to get there in good time. Hope all goes well with your meeting, and they can give you some news.

love k


----------



## superal

Jennifer so chuffed to read your message......at last is all I can say, good luck


----------



## saphy75

Jennifer great news hun everything crossed that this is a perfect match  

pam xx


----------



## Boggy

Hi folks  

We eventually got a letter today to say we can start prep groups next week - after months of worrying, in 3 weeks the prep classes will be over!

I'm really excited/nervous/scared - really looking forward to the process getting started properly.

Better go and start reading that stack of books and coaching my husband in what not to say!

Bx


----------



## jilldill

Jennifer,
Great news I have got everything crossed for you !!!!!!
Love JD x


----------



## cindyp

Jennifer, so pleased to read your post.  Know what you mean about not trying to get too excited but you wouldn't be human if you didn't.  Fingers crossed for you.

love
Cindy


----------



## cindyp

Forgot to say for those that hadn't noticed my other thread where I have posted my news, it does look like my DS is going to get his baby sister.  

Cindy


----------



## saphy75

Boggy, woohoo !!! great news about your prep group hun 

pam xx


----------



## fiona1

Boggy - Well done on getting your date through.

Cindy & Jennifer YYYYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHH  Congratulations to both of you.

No news here visit 2 over 4 to go.

Fiona


----------



## KarenM

Jennifer -  Great news  Hope next Wednesday goes well, have everything crossed for you

Andrea - If I don't get chance to do a catch up before you go, have a lovely holiday and birthday too 
[fly] 40 [/fly]

Hi to everyone else. Having a horrendous time with work, so my time is taken up with a second interview on 29th and a presentation to prepare for it and doing a good scour of the internet job pages. The day I leave won't be a day too soon.

Take care eveyone
Karen x


----------



## Old Timer

Excellent news Jennifer, fingers crossed for you!

Cindy, congratulations.

Boggy, talk about short notice!  Hope you enjoy your prep course, its hard going but definately interesting and exciting.

Andrea, have a fab birthday and holiday.

Karen, sounds stressful.

Misty C, ((((HUGS)))) I still get upset 3.5yrs on about my mc and am dreading having to talk too much about it.  I'm sure they won't think that you haven't dealt with it.  One of my biggest problems is I find the idea of people treating children so badly very upsetting as well, which I'm sure we all do, but the tears well up.  Its all very emotive.  

Hi to everyone else.
Love
OT x


----------



## Viva

Good morning everyone,
I'm sitting here on a blustery morning on tenter hooks as my best friend is presently in labour and has been for over 24hours (twinges since 4am yesterday and labour proper since yeaterday afternoon!) really excited about this baby as she had had a previous miscarrige and then took 2 years to conceive again! Thought it would be a good time to catch up!

Superal have a fabulous time away, you're right age is only a number!

Laine, great to hear that you have a new SW allocated hopefully you'll soon have some exciting news to be posting.

Karen, I hope your job hunting goes well, it's aweful being stuck in a job you hate!

Great news Jennifer, I hope things move along promptly, they must be keen on you for this little boy if they're showing you DVD's etc!

OT have you started your HS yet? I seem to remeber that you were due to start around January, but I do keep losing track with where everyone is!

Fiona, hope your HS is going well.

Cindy, such great news I bet you can't wait to tell your DS!

Boggy, enjoy your prep course, we really enjoyed ours although it is alot to take in!

Saphy, it's always to great to hear about Chunk, but will also look forward to being able to post on the new parenting thread in the future!

Naoise, I hope that things get moving along for you, I'm not looking forward to this part of the waiting game...

Misty, I'm sure that your SW will understand your feelings about your miscarrige, it's good that you could discuss your feelings. I have my one on one interview with my SW next will be strange meetign without my DH.

Barbarella, I had to have a little smile about your story about talking to the bush, I'm sure that your nan would be so happy about Bea, I can understand why you feel the connection.

LB, I hope all goes well with your op today.

Hi To everyone else, there's so many of us now I never seem to be able to catch up with everyone, really should try and post more often, although I do try and read what is happening with everyone regularly.

Our bit of news is that we have a panel date set for May 14th, it feels great to at least have a date for being approved even though that is just the start of another waiting game!

Viva
XXX


----------



## Mummyof2

Thanks for all your messages ladies    I've just found myself on the Kiddicare site browsing.  For those that don't know it it sells baby equipment at very good prices.

Viva - it is great when you get a panel date and fantastic feeling on the day when you pass.  It is like getting a positive pregnancy test


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi All,

Trying to keep up with all the good news on hear is soooooooooo hard, but here goes.

Jennifer, I am soooooooooooooooooooooo happy for you hun, I hope this little man is the little brother and special son you have been waiting for, I have my fingers crossed for you.

Viva, great news that you have a panel date, you can then officially say you are and expectant mother, yipeeeee. I hope your wait will not be too long after that.

C, lovely to read how well Bea is settling in and such a moving story about your Nan.

Karen, I hope work gets sorted soon, I too am finding it all very hard in my new post and they want me to do a masters!!! have managed to defer it till september and I am hoping that I will be off work again fairly soon after that, not that i have told that to my boss? 

Misty C, don't worry to much about getting upset   but just do be prepared to answer some more questions around this as they may well latch onto this. I am only saying this from experience as this happened to us when we were going through the process for pooh bear. I had had mc the previous year and following my 1 2 1 with the SW she felt we needed 12 months to have passed before we considered adoption. I challenged her decision, but it did cause us a slight delay. Please feel free to pm me for more info if you need it, but hopefully you will have a much more open minded SW.

LB, hope op goes well.

OT, hope you enjoy day 2 of prep tomorrow. Do you live in the NW? I think i know you from care and if so I too am a NW girl so if you ever fancy a chat please PM me.

Andrea, have a great birthday and holiday. DH was 40 in December, we went away to the lakes for the night which was nice. Been chatting to Cindy and we must try and arrange a meet soon. I will PM you.

Lanie, I hope you get that call soon hun. Finger toes etc crossed for you.

To all i have not mentioned. i am thinking of you.

Our news re prep group is good,if as you say a bit silly. 

Origionally as Cindy said, it was because we choose a different LA in the hope of being approved quicker, in the end this did not happen so we are going with our original LA who said we may not have to re do the prep but now say we do?

I think it is probably due to the new regs. So it will be an action replay of last time, same day same place etc. I will have to try hard not to say to much and look like a know it all   . It was bad enough last time as my job is working in health with children etc and dealing with SS so I said a lot last time. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will have to sellotape my mouth up. 

I am sooooooooooooooooooo happy just to have some dates to focus on. Roll on April. 

WOW, Well better get dressed and go and pick up pooh bear from play group. I do love Thursday when i get 2 hour to catch up, should do housework but much rather catch up with all by buddies on hear.

TTFN  PBMxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Lynnm

Hi Everyone

I have just been checking on everyone's progress and I see there is lots of good news around the board.

Boggy - I see you are in scotland also, can I ask what LA you are using?

Lynn xx


----------



## superal

Hi everyone

Thanks for all the birthday wishes, it is just a number but I am getting quite excited about turning the BIG 40 now   , I must be going mad but they say life begins at 40 and like so many of you I have had things happen to me in the past years that I have had to come to terms with and move on.

I have moved on, meeting my DH was one of the best things I did, he has helped me enormously.

I came to terms with the fact that I would not have my own birth children BUT I never gave up on not being a Mummy and I think the point I am trying to say is DON'T give up, hang in there and you will see it will all work out OK in the end. 

It's also blowing a gale here at the moment & I feel sorry for my builders as they are being blown about all over the place, quite funny to see but not nice for them.  We also have window fitters here as well and every now and then I hear them curse about the wind as well!

Hope everyone is OK and will catch up again later, must go and offer to make them all a cup of tea, 5 cups of tea and a biscuit might cheer them up 
Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## gillywilly

Hi all
Jennifer keeping everything crossed for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Viva great news on a panel date!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Gill


----------



## Viva

Thanks Gillywilly and Jenifer, PBM I do feel like I'm expecting, I just hope it will be a normal 9 months and not an elephantine pregnancy! 

My lovely friend is STILL in labour, and it has got me thinking about the benefits of adopting over the conventional route to parenthood:
No morning sickness
No long painful labour
No giving up alcohol...soft cheese...peanuts etc...
No stretch marks and weight gain (on the other hand any weight gain can't be put down to pregnancy!) 
A panel of experts tell you that they think you will be good parents (has to be worth remebering on the bad days!)
Possibly less sleepless nights
You get to give children a second chance
You still get all the good bits of being a parent, seeing them grow, develop, doing things for the first time, being called Mum, getting cuddles, playing and being a big kid yourself.

I'm sure the rest of you can also add to the list.
Viva
XXX

P.S. Superal did you manage to cheer up your builders?


----------



## superal

Viva I think your list was brill!! 

YES I did cheer up the builders especially when i said will you please go home I don't want anyone to have an accident, the wind is so bad!!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## ~Twinkle~

Hi Girls, 

hope you are all well! just wanted to pop in and give a big hug  to Misty regarding her mis- carriage
I too mis-carried last June, which is understandable to have a cry   as our baby's would of been due next month.I had a little cry the other day its part of a grieving process and I sure the social worker can see that! 
Dosen't mean you cant move on as you are and healing along the way...at least she can see you have feeling of emotions and you are intouch with your feelings, that makes a good parent.  

Will post more when I have my 1st visit next tue and then I will feel Im really on the path to adoption well a long one but reading your stories gives me hope...

Im glad I have this site it got me through IVF and  will hopefully help me along my path to adoption, looking forward to getting to know you all and sharing your journeys with you. 

Take care Girls
Butterfly hugs
~Twinkle~x


----------



## Old Timer

Wow!  Its been so busy today....

Viva, I'm doing my prep course at the moment, 2nd day tomorrow.  Great news about the panel date, hope you don't have too long a wait afterwards.

PBM, I've been on Care for too many years so I daresay you probably do know me, I have been posting on 'what next' as well.  I don't live in the NW though, spent years traveling hundreds of miles for tx in Notts.  Will PM you if I can work it out!  I have an idea who you may be but not really sure.  

Andrea, your message hit a spot with me about not giving up.  I so long to be a mummy but still find it hard to believe I will get a happy ending after all the heartache of ivf.  At the moment I am just keeping everything crossed SS accept our official application after the prep course, each hurdle at a time.

Does anyone post on Adoption UK?  I've stopped going on there because I get so worried about all the people that get asked to withdraw or don't get approved - doesn't help with my PMA!  I just find it really puts a dampner on things whereas this site/forum is full of support and encouragement.

Hi to everyone I've not mentioned.  
Love
OT x


----------



## BunBun

I have a question to all those that have been approved regarding panel - were any of you asked any questions related to any tx or m/c that you've had by the panel?


----------



## saphy75

Bun Bun we were not asked any personal questions that would of caused us discomfort to talk about in a room full of strangers, if there was anything they needed to ask you i would hope they would raise it with your sw beforehand so she could come to you for a response and then she could tell them before you go in  

hope this has helped

pam xx


----------



## Barbarella

Thank you for the mentions ladies... 

Just wanted to say congrats to Jennifer and Cindy... WOW !!!  So exciting... eeeeeeeeeeeeeek !!!  Fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly.

OT - I felt the same as you - just could never see us with a baby at all during our ttc days.  However, felt differently when it came to adoption... had renewed faith and loved the fact that I knew all the hard work meant that we would be parents... it will be the same for you.  

Bunbun - I was told by SW that panel wouldn't ask questions like that, as Saphy said.... anything like that they would ask SW before you go in there.  Our SW asked if there were any questions we weren't happy to answer, and we said no.  I got asked about my lack of cooking abilities, because I'd mentioned it in the home study... lol.  And we were asked about the age of children we wanted, which I was dreading, but because of our honesty (so we were told) we were approved for as young as possible.  Just be honest, they are not trying to catch you out.

Viva - great news about panel date - I also felt like I was expecting.. it was a weird feeling. 

Hi to everyone... 

Love C xx


----------



## sanita

So much news and so many of us.   Here goes with my efforts to do some personals............

BunBun - We weren't asked anything about t/x at panel.

Old Timer - I know what you mean about Adoption UK.  I post here and on there, but the differing adoption experiences between the two message boards is remarkable.

Twinkle - Good luck next Tuesday.

Viva - I liked your list too.  As DH and I will be taking aged 3 upwards I could also add no poohy nappies, no bottles to sterilise and no pushchairs to battle with when they won't fold down (I have always been useless at controllling a pushchair, they definitely control me).

Andrea - Hope the builders can get back to it today.  We lost a couple of fence panels and a shed roof yesterday, but I think we got off lightly compared to some people.

KarenM - Hope you get your work situation sorted soon.  We are due to hear today if our company is being taken over.  If we are then there will be a lot of redundancies.  I've only been there 4 months and I turned down another job to go there, which looks now like that was a bad decision.  So perhaps after today I will be joining you in your job hunting.

Boggy - Good luck with your prep course.

Laine - Hope your new link worker gets things moving for you.

JenniferF - As Cindy no longer needs me to keep my fingers crossed for her, I will gladly keep them crossed for you.  Really hope that this is it for you.

Not much to report from me.  We have now seen several CPRs /Form E's and have said we are interested in 3 different sibling pairs.  Our Form F is with those 3 different SWs and we are waiting to see if any of them are interested in us.  I am trying so hard to be patient, but the wheels of adoption do seem to turn mighty slowly.   

Have a nice weekend everyone.


----------



## superal

Hey Sanita I have my fingers crossed for you that some good news comes of the sibling pairs you are interested in, keep us posted.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Bunbun - at panel we were asked questions about how many times we had IVF (2) and how we felt about it and the outcome etc.  They didn't ask many questions overall so we felt they felt they had better ask something!

KarenM/Sanita - hope work issues resolve themselves soon.

Boggy - good luck with your prep course.

Twinkle - good luck next Tues.

I have had the info through re the little boy but we do not feel he is for us which is a big disappointment.  He has to have a special diet due to allergies and we are a veggie family so going veggie on top of his diet he wouldn't be able to eat much!  Also he has some challenging behaviour issues and we do not feel this would be good for our ds.  There are other things as well but I won't go into these.  Just overall don't feel this is the child for us, although in some ways he sounds ideal so we can see why we were considered.  Oh well, back to the long waiting game


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi Jen,

sorry to hear the little boy wans't a good match, but at least you know you're top of the list so it hopefully won't be too long a  wait.

We didn't have any tx so didn't get asked anything like that at panel thankfully. I was a blubberign wreck as it was so thankfully they didn't ask anything too emotional.

Dust has settled after the burglary, didn't sleep much last week as the   said we are more likely to be burgaled again by the same lot as they know our hosue and what we have in it and that we'll most likely replace what they took. I'm sure he was trying to be helpful and informative but it freaked me right out. and with all this wind every noise at night has me jumping out of my skins. But i do feel much better this week. they can't get in now without makign a lot of noise, so am hoping they'll not bother.

I've a job interview next week, and if i get offered the job we'll be able to move away, so keep your fingers crossed for me. Good luck to those others of you jobhunting.

Sanita....gotta be good odds with 3 different groups....fingers crossed for you!

I've never posted on the adoption UK site. I did look in but found it to be quite scary.

better go do some work,
XXXRuth

PS we have our courtdate for Boo's adoptions......valentines day will be a very special day for us this year!


----------



## BunBun

Thanks for the replies regarding treatment questions asked at panel.
Our sw has a big problem with our treatment history & we are waiting for a reply as to whether we will still go to panel or not. They want to know exact dates, medication doses, dates of my m/c's and dates off work. I've said it is very hard to give exact dates as we started tx in 2002 put I have been upfront since the beginning & have given the months when I had tx,what medication if any used(can't remember exact dose & what days it was taken on) and as hard as it may seem I have forgotten the exact day that I started to m/c. I had counselling & they have been given the months when this took place. I'm totally stuck for what else I can give them in the way of information.


----------



## superal

Hi Jennifer...........sorry this little boy wasn't the right match for you, it must be a hard decision to say NO but you have to be honest and you deserve a pat on the back for making the right one.

Hopefully it won't be to long before the right one comes along.  
Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## TraceyH

Jennifer - I do agree that you have to be honest with yourself.  Fingers crossed that your wait won't be too long.

This board moves too fast for me to do personals but I am thinking about you all.

We are now coming into the second week of our introductions.  We had our little chap home for the day today.  He was a little unsettled but that is only to be expected as his routine (and ours) is completeley disrupted and he is also teething.  The foster parents are bringing him over in the morning and we are taking him home in his pyjamas for bedtime.  Hopefully the weather will be better and we can go for a walk somewhere.

Tracey


----------



## KarenM

Jennifer - Sorry to hear this littlwe one wasn't for you.  Hope you get the right match coming your way soon.

Sanita - good luck for the possible matches that you are in for.

Welshy - Congrats on completing your prep course, onwards and upwards.

Andrea - Have a great holiday

OT - we took numbers of two couples but never stayed in touch.  But you raising it has made me curious though to know how they got on.

Tracy - wow next week you will officially be a Mummy and Daddy - glad intros are going well and look forward to next Friday

PBM - great news on the prep course.  I am in the middle of my masters now.  Having two days study leave next week though as work is so busy my evenings are spent doing that rather than the study.  It is much easier to manage when they are younger though.

LB - Hope everything went ok with the op today - get well soon

Barbarella - Glad to hear that things are going well with Bea.  I can recommend the Boots Homeopathic Camomile Teething Powder.  have fun with the teething

Naoise - Have a good holiday. It depends on the situation with the adoption orders etc as you cannot go to matching panel until the adoption order is given.  We were matched on paper in the July but the adoption order and matching panel didn't happen until the October.  Everyone is different though as it depends on circumstances.  Have they decided about moving times for the girls and the gaps between?

Misty C - I am sure we all have had times of emotion during our home study.  It shows we are human and we all show our emotions in different ways, I am sure she will not think that you need to delay things.

Laine - good luck for the meeting with the linking SW

Boggy - good luck for your prep course next week.

Viva - I am sure given how fast this year has gone already that may will be upon us before you know it.  Good luck.  great list of the pro's and cons!!

LynnM - don't think I've said hello before so welcome to the merry crew.

Twinkle - good luck for your first visit

Bun Bun - you Sw is asking for a lot of info.  Our panel questions were more future focused.  i.e what would I do as the major wage earner and primary carer if the children hadn't settled by the time I needed to return to work?

Sanita - hope you have good news on the job front.  I am in no hurry to move as I have the work life balance right (apart from the proverbial which is being flung my way at the minute).  I am frustrated where I am but fearful of getting a job that I can't commit to because of childcare or having something worse than now.

Ruthie - sorry to hear about the burglary.  The  was right but sorry it lost you some sleep.  I've had a bit of an insomnia week so can empathise (only 1.5 hours on Weds night!)  Good luck for the job interview, will you be moving far?


We had a tree fall down at work yesterday and crushed three cars, one of the men poor chap it was his birthday.  We lost 7 fence panels so have a bit of repairs to do tomorrow.

Our new fish tank (well the girls really) has now settled so we can get the first fish tomorrow.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.  Hi to those I've not mentioned.

Take care
Love
Karen x


----------



## jilldill

Hi Jennifer,
Just to say i am thinking of you I didn't go through this but I know alot of the girls here have.
Take care and give yourselves abit of time love JD x


----------



## Viva

Hello everyone,
Well, my friend finally had her baby, a beautiful little girl, we had a lovely hour or so with them this evening, and DH and I were saying it's a sign of how far we've come that we could enjoy meeting her without feeling too sad, our friends are also very supportive of us adopting and always remember to talk about where we're at too!

Jenifer, sorry to hear that this little boy wasn't for you, but you do have to be honest and go with your gut feeling.

Tracey, great to hear that your intro's are going well, this time next week...

Bunbun, am really surprised how much detail they are going into about your treatment history, surely they should see it as a good sign that you can't rememer all the dates etc, I would have thought that it shows you have moved on.

Ruthie, all the best for your interview.

Sanita, 3 potential sibling groups, that sounds good let us know how you get on...and I know exactly what you mean about buggies, will probably have to walk everywhere or go by bus so I don't have to worry about collapsing one!

OT, I hope your second day went well on your prep course, do you know how long you will have to wait to be allocated a SW?

Twinkle, all the best for your first visit.


Karen, I'm sure your fishies will ove their new home

Andrea, are you packed yet? Or are you like me a leave it all to the last minute?

Hello to everyone else...have a relaxing weekend!

Love Viva
XXX


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
thanks for the good wishes for today, it means a lot to have some support.  Today was quite a difficult day as we were doing about loss and separation, it was rather heavy going and hit home a bit hard.  We talked about our loss and the SW had a box of tissues ready and told us it was OK to get upset and that we were the best people to help these children as we had experienced loss and knew how to deal with it.

We also did a bit about contact which was interesting and heard from a lady who had been adopted in the late 60s.

We now have some homework to do before next Friday.......

Viva, we don't know yet how long it will be to get a SW but from what they have said it should be fairly soon after the prep course has finished.  Next week another SW is coming to talk about abuse, she is in charge of the pre-approval side of things so hopefully she will give us some idea then.  We have 2 more Fridays and an evening that is still to be arranged.

Jennifer, sorry the little boy wasn't right for you, it must be so hard to make that decision but you have to be honest with yourselves.  I really hope the right child comes along soon.

Andrea & PBM, thank you for the messages, will reply as soon as I can - have a hectic family weekend.

Bunbun, I hope we don't have to provide that sort of detail, I know the rough timings but not exact dates etc - I never kept a diary either.  Personally I would question why they need all that, whats the relevance?  I suppose if they really need it you could get the info from the clinic you went to.  Good luck.

Karen, enjoy your trip to get the fish.  The weather must have been really bad where you work, what a nightmare!

Ruth, better than a dozen red roses!  Not too long to wait, well done.

Best go, lots to sort out before SIL and family arrive tomorrow.

Love
OT x


----------



## superal

Just a quick message from me as I have not even packed and we go away tomorrow!! 

Thanks for all the birthday wishes and nice messages you have sent my way.

I look forward to catching up with you all when I get back and keep my fingers crossed there may be some more good news for you all.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## casey

Hi everybody 

hope you are all ok. Our home study was abit delayed as s/w was off sick but she's back now and we start our prep group nxt week. It feels very strange for me to be on the other side to an assessment, and TBH i am not really looking forward to the prep feoup and wish dh could go alone as i think he'd get more out of it and i'll be biting my tongue so i am not too domineering and s/w (ish), - i am finding some of the questions difficult and not sure if i am successfully seperating my roles of my job and prospective adoptive parent.I think i am bit too Unemotional at times esp about things such as contact or meeting BP's - amybe when its all more real then the real me will kick in more ,i hope so 

Any way enough of the 'me; post 

Hi misty how are you ?I also think the fact you do show emotion about your losses is a positive things - just make it clear that you understand that it is in the past x

Jennifer - have kept checking the boards for your news - so sorry that the little boy wasn't tright for you It must have been a hard decision bit you are making room for a little boy and girl who is right for you, Hope you get some good news very soon 

Superal - belated birthday wishesxxxx

Viva good luck the panel in may and hope your friend and her little one are doing well 

sanita good luck for the matching ooh 3 sibling groups sounds very promising you must be very excited hope you hear some news very soon

Boggy, OT and PBm - hope you are enjoying or have enjoyed your prep course 

BunBun - i am not sure why all that detail is relevant -  maybe your s.w likes to be very thorough and etailed with her reports ? not sure its essential tho

Karen I don't envy you studying for a masters with two little ones - i did that when dd was a baby and it was TOUGH !! good luck xx

Ruthie - so sorry you ahve been burgled what a horrible thing to happen   good luck for your court date hope you have champagne on ice !

Tracey - hope your intros are going well - i am sure your little one will settle down very soon once he knows what a fab mum and dad he's got xx

Andrea & Naoise enoy your holidays, not sure where you are going but have agreat time   

Barbarella & Saphy - I love hearing about your little one's it gives me hope and makes it more real. I hope you don't mind if i lurk on the parenting adopted children thread and have alittle weep now and again - its just so uplifting to read about your happiness with all the little details

twinkle - have you had your 1st visit yet - hope it goes ( or has gone ) well 

LB - hope you are recovering well after your op  

Laine hope you get that call very soonx

Hi Lynn, Jill, welshy & Fiona - hope i have not forgotten anybody

One more bit of news from me - my poor dh is a marathon runner and he was out running this week and somebody SHOT him! with  a high powered air rifle and the dozy twerp went to see who it was and they went to shoot him again - I got the shock of my life when he staggered in the front door with a bloody leg saying he'd been shot ! so then we had police and then hospitals to deal with and they can't remove the pellet as its too deep in the muscle. so the poor thing can't run and he's training for the London marathon for charity - how [email protected] is that to just shoot at somebody randomly ! the mentality of some people is just awful  

So thats all our news 
Bye for now love caseyxxx


----------



## jan welshy

Casey

I am gob smacked!!!!!!! Hope DH heals quickly and well. Can the police do anything about the thugs?

Take care

WelshyXXXXXX


----------



## saphy75

Casey that is terrible hun your poor dh, i can't believe what some people are capable of  

pam xx


----------



## jilldill

Casey,
You just dispair sometimes, hope he is ok soon
Love JD x


----------



## GuitarAngel1979

Hi ladies, 

I have been absent lately and haven't had a chance to read up on everyone's lives. I promise to do so as soon as I can. 

My DH's grandmother was recently put into hospital and sadly passed away on yesterday morning. My DH is incredibly upset and I am finding it hard to see him this way. Not the best start to our year, but we will pull through this, I know it. 

Just saying hello and we are looking forward to our first adoption "open evening in just under two weeks!!!  i am so ready to start the process  

Lots of love to you all, 
Amanda x


----------



## Mummyof2

Casey - I am so sorry to hear about your poor dh.  How absolutely dreadful for you both.  It is unbelievable.  I hope the police catch the person soon.

Amanda - very sorry to hear that your dh's nan died.  Hugs to you and him.

KarenM - I used to keep fish for many years - very relaxing to watch them drifting around.  I had tropical and goldfish (at different times!).  Enjoy    Sorry to hear about all the damage the winds did.  We were lucky here and nothing happened.

Superal - happy birthday and have a great holiday.

Thanks for all the kind words.  We haven't 100% decided until we speak to our sw and see the dvd but, on paper, this child doesn't look right for us.


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Jen,

Just wanted to send you a big hug, it must be so hard to make that kind of decision,but also necessary.

Thinking of you.

PBMxxx


----------



## cindyp

Jen, so sorry to hear it wasn't the right match.  It's an important decision especially as you also have your DS to consider so it has to be right.  You are not the first nor will be the last to turn a child down and it has to be completely right for all of you.  Hope you find the right match soon.

Casey, I continue to be astounded by some people's capacity for casual violence.  I hope the police catch the person who did it soon.  Unfortunately that will be little compensation for your DH having his mararthon plans ruined.

Andrea, have a lovely birthday and a lovely holiday.  I must admit to being just a little jealous especially following this week's weather.

PBM, have sent you a PM.

Karen, good luck with the job hunt.  Still amazed at your managing to do studying/work/parenting.  I've always found it hard enough just managing two of those at a time.  Enjoy the new pets, I've always liked the idea of having some fish and might get us a tank after our extension is built.

Misty, I think it is perfectly reasonable to show your emotions.  It has been over 3 years since I had my m/c and the thought of it can still bring tears to my eyes sometimes even though I have my beloved son.

Sanita, unfortunately you are right, the wheels do turn slowly.  It took 5 weeks for us to find out that our interest was reciprocated.  I hope you get a quicker response.

Ruth, good luck for the job interview.  Lovely news about Boo's court date.  Our DS came to stay with us for the first time on that date so it's special for me too.  

Jan, glad the prep course went well.

Bunbun, your SW is being a bit pedantic, we were asked nothing about our tx apart from whether we had got over the fact we were not going to have birth children.

Viva, congrats on the panel date.  Liked your list  

K, hope you have a lovely holiday.

OT, the prep course can be a bit emotional and draining but it is worthwile.  Enjoy the homework.

Tracey, teething, you have my sympathies.  Not long till you bring him home.

Laine, I hope things go well with your new link worker.

Twinkle, best of luck for Tuesday.

To Fiona, Barbarella and everyone else I've missed (there's too many of us on this thread now it was a lot easier when there was just the five of us   ) I hope you are all well.

DH and I are just about over our cold viruses although DS still has a nasty cough.  I'm not rushing up to bed as I know I won't get much sleep anyway as he will probably end up in bed with me again.    We've been told they don't consider it necessary to attend the matching panel which is good considering the distance, I'm also taking it as a positive sign that they feel they have a strong enough case for us.  Have got to do a new life book which is not so great because we're not very good at creative things.  Waiting for some photos to arrive so that I can sit and get all gooey    In the meantime I've been researching all the things we will need to buy.  As we were expecting to be matched to an older child we had assumed we could just use DS's old equipment.  It's going to be hard shopping but I think I'll manage it.  

love to all
Cindy


----------



## ~Twinkle~

Hi girls,

thanks for all the good luck's for my visit Tue, god I cant stop cleaning the house 1st impressions and all that, although Im sure I will not be scoring brownie points for a clean house  .

Jen, sorry about your match but sometimes you have to follow yr  and if it feels right then you have to do it, as long as you do that you have made the right decision.

Hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend, im off to my sisters for sunday lunch and spend time with my little newphew who is 1 year 8 months now! bless. lots of hugs coming my way.. 

Butterfly hugs 
~Twinkle~


----------



## Laine

Jennifer,

It is really hard deciding that a little one is not right for you.  You go through all sorts of emotions.

Thinking of you  

Laine


----------



## LB

Hi Ladies

Cindy - fantastic news - can't wait to hear more 

Jennifer - thinking of you - it isn't easy hun - sending you a hug XX

as for me - op went ok and i am now resting  - reckon dh is the one who will need a rest by the end of the week - bless him - he is worn out with all his chores!

take care everyone
LB
X


----------



## gap

Hi Ladies,

Thankyou for all the info on what questions to ask LA on first contact ....... 

Called 3 LA's today, all were very helpful, spent time answering all my queries and sending info packs out to us.  One of the LA's I spoke to went into a bit more detail with regards to the mental health issues that can appear later in life when adopting a baby 0-2 .... made it sound quite bleak.  I do realise its not going to be all roses / sunshine, but wondered if this was to put you off at the first hurdle or  is it to make you more aware of what to expect at info evening?


----------



## wynnster

Hi Girls

Well after months and months we finally moved just before xmas and we've JUST got back online - Felt lost without my pc (how sad!)

Great to read everyones news but just far too many posts to read them all   Lovely to see new names too - Hello  

Laine - Any news from you hun 

OT - Have sent you PM, hope the prep course is going ok

Cindy - Happy Shopping!

Hello to everyone else too 

We heard from our SW after xmas with our dates for the prep course which starts 6th Feb - Eeeek! But also there's a problem with DH's medical form - Don't know if anyone remembers but our medicals were a total waste of time, we paid £140 for the GP to weigh us and take our blood pressure, that was it! Anyway we thought 'oh well at least it's another hurdle over' and left it at that. Well our totally stupid GP has put dh as smoking 20 a day! and as we're being considered for 0-2 this put us under query!!! 
Anyway I had a chat with the SW and they're complaining to the GP (as are we!) and have said it wont affect us but will just have to have the gp rewrite the form.    

Must dash have been on here far too long and have a hallway to strip  

Kim xxx


----------



## alex28

Hi guys

hope u r all well and sorry i have not been very supportive of late.

have a lot to deal with at the moment and to make matters more complicated we were matched last week with a little one.  Unfortuntely it was not the child for us, lots of issues, lots of contact etc, medical probs.  very hard to say no but feel its not right.

Thanks to all those who have sent me pm - esp Jill - you have been an amazing support. xxxx


----------



## naoise

Hi everybody

Kimmy great to have you back how is the stripping going, the hall I mean 

LB I hope you have that dh of yours looking after you.

Jen so sorry that the little boy wasn't for you both but as someone else has said it has to feel right.

Gap it is really hard to tell if they are putting you off but I know that when had just started that they told us that there was no children under the age of two and did paint quite a bleak picture, although I think you have to prepared for the fact the children have been in affected in some way. But it definitely is all not doom and gloom.

Cindy hope that you are feeling a lot better and happy shopping.

We had a lovely weekend in County Leitrim very relaxing and enjoyable. We had the girls E forms with us and I am sure we read them all  a hundred times, we are very sure that we are going ahead and have told our sw to tell the girls sw. So we are just waiting for news which will not be until the end of the week. There is quite a good chance that the eldest will come first and as we can foster as well it could be quite soon. I am trying not to buy very much but it is really hard. We have been told that we will have some help with the expenses so I am just going to buy little things. I can hardly contain my excitement but am trying to keep a lid on it.

Alex sorry to hear that the little one is not right for you, I hope that you are feeling OK and  all is well.

Hi to everybody 

Love K


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies

Cindy, fab news - can't wait to hear more, enjoy the shopping when you get to it.

LB, glad the op went well, make sure you rest and it will do DH good doing the chores!

Gap, they tend to give you the bleakest outlook in order to test your commitment.  Its not an easy journey and every child is going to come with some sort of 'problem' whether its showing now or later in life, they want to make sure you are 100% sure and fully commited before spending loads of money putting you through the process.

Kimmy, will reply to your PM.  Your GP sounds a prat!  Hope you get it all sorted without any more hassle.

Alex, ((((HUGS)))) must be so hard to have your hopes raised and then find the child isn't right for you and a very brave decision to take but you have to do what is right for you.  Hope you are matched again soon.

K, excellent news, how very exciting!

Got reading and homework to do tonight!  All about behaviour and what we liked/disliked about the way we were parented.

Hope everyone is OK, its gone a lot colder down south today.
Love
OT x


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## rianna

Hi all,

Sorry I haven't got much time for personals but life has been so hectic.  We are due to go to matching panel very shortly and my father-in-law has been taken seriously ill, and the prognosis is not hopeful. We are all praying for a miracle.  We are devastated, but at the same time petrified that it will spoil our chances with our little girl.  Would they stop us being matched with her if our family is grieving.  She is our light at the end of the tunnel and I am so worried that not only will we lose a beloved family member but our daughter as well.  Am I over-reacting?  Any advice appreciated.

Ps.  Jen - Sorry you are not proceeding with your match.  Hopefully you won't have to wait too long for the right one.

Laine - Hope this year is your year.

Alex - So lovely that you are back.  Sorry you are not going ahead with your match, but I am sure the right child will come along for you at the right time.

Hi to everyone else.

Love Rianna.


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## Misty C

Hi everyone

My what a lovely chatty bunch you are!  It’s been great to read through all the posts and get to know everyone a little better.  Firstly thank you for the great support and advice on the story of my tears with SW.  Haven’t got a date for our next meeting (after our hols) but trying to be upbeat about it.  DH is with SW AT THIS MINUTE for his one to one – would love to be a fly on the wall!

Laine – hope everything goes well with your new Link SW.

Boggy – great news on your up and coming prep course.  I was really nervous at first but of course so was everyone else and we soon got into the swing of it.

Cindy – fantastic to hear there is going to be a new addition to your household a dd, so lovely.

Karen – hope you hear some good news on the job front soon.  

OT – thanks so much for the support.  I have a similar feelings that extend to animals – I can’t see a film if its got child or animal cruelty in it – and the NEWS!  xx

Viva – panel date already – that’s brilliant!  Love to the new arrival.  Enjoyed the pain free list!

Jennifer F – thanks for the support you gave earlier, feeling a little better.  The tip on Kiddiecare was ace, it’s really the first time since our decision to adopt that I have looked at kiddy accoutrement's and loved it.  I imagine the range of emotions you felt when you heard about the little boy; you have to make the right decision for you.  

PBM – thank you for your support and the IM today, it’s certainly something we would do if we feel it’s causing any delays.  SW has now assured me that its not a problem, we just need to show how have coped & moved on. xxx 

Superal – hope the builders enjoyed their tea – no matter how hard I try my tea is always rubbish and builders leave half of it.  I used to think it was because it became cold until my brother told me it was ‘rotten’.  No more tea for him!

Twinkle – thank you for sharing your story, I will be thinking of you next month when we light a candle to remember our angels.  I may be a sentimental old fool but I feel they are watching & helping with our new journey to become parents.  

Sanita – 3 sibling groups, I wish you the best of luck. 

Ruth - good luck with the job interview and congratulations on the court date for Boo.  

BunBun – the only thing we have been asked so far is that we have stopped with TX’s.  I don’t know if they will ask us anything more as the medical form enquire about infertility treatments in the ‘Marital History’ section:  “If failure to conceive’ give duration and reason.  Please specify investigations and treatments”.  

TraceyH – glad to hear the introductions are going well. 

Karen – have the fish settled in?

Casey – can’t believe your poor DH was shot?  How is he?  What happened to the person who shot him?  Sorry to hear home study delayed, do you have a new date?  I don’t normally bubble in front of people (although anytime on my own!) I’m sure I will get the opportunity to talk about it again I just hope I am not pre-menstrual like last time.  

Amanda – sorry to hear about DH’s grandmother, thinking of you both. xxx  

Cindy – glad to hear you and DH are on the mend.  The Life Book you need to complete is this a written story of your family with some pictures or is it more a family picture album with who’s who?  Can’t wait to hear your good news soon.

LB – rest well after the op.

Gap – hope you find an LA that is supportive.  We only approached one and they have been pretty good so far.  

Kim – can’t believe that’s all the GP did as a medical and got it wrong!  We have ours on Friday and have been told the cost £130, bring urine samples and they will take 30 mins each.  Hope it’s all sorted for you soon.  

Alex – sorry to hear the match isn’t for you.  Hang on in there your dd/ds will be with you soon.

Naoise – so excited for you and can’t wait to hear more news. 

Rianna - so sorry to hear of your father-in-law, my thoughts are with you and the family.  Why don't you speak to SW and explain what's happening just now. I'm sure they will reassure you.  xxxxx

Well I have spent so long on post the SW has been and gone.  She did have a quick word and has reassured me that my being upset over m/c was not a negative thing.  She will catch up on how we have coped with the due date anniversary and how we have moved on and will write around this.  So feel loads better.  Its all go with Medicals this Friday and DH & I go on holiday for 2 weeks next week whoohooo.  

Take care everyone
Love ‘n’ hugs
Misty C
xxxx


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## jilldill

Hi Rianna,
I am so sorry to hear your news. I can only speak from my experience and hope that I can do it sensitively enough so as not to upset you any more than you must already be. As you may remember I lost my FIL and MIL within 5 weeks of each other and the day after my MIL funeral we got the call about Sunshine. They asked us if we felt strong enough and able to move forward with the link and like you Sunshine was our life line in what had other wise been one of our worst years ever. We put on a good strong show and said of course we wanted this to go ahead and despite it all we had not wavered from what we wanted. I know you will worry about this on top of the difficult time ahead but just stay strong. I am sure it will not affect things in terms of your daughter but do be honest with them as they will have to know at some point.
Take care Rianna, if you want to pm I will chat more to you love JD x


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## gap

thanks Naiose, OT and Misty for your replies... 

The LA was very nice, even made a few funny comments to lighten the mood at the end of the call.  As you all say they've got to make us aware of the bigger picture, don't expect this process to straight forward, more like a roller coaster ...... but with all the success stories on here it makes you feel it's all worth it!

Will be glued to the letter box now lol ..... need to send form back so they can invite us to the next info evening 

Gap x


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## BunBun

Just a quick one to let you know we got a phone call last night & we're going to panel tomorrow. Sw's have accepted that we can't give any more details than we already have. Nervous but excited.


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## Mummyof2

Bunbun - good luck at panel  

Alex - snap - we have just turned down a child as well and it is very hard as you experience all sorts of emotions from disappointment to upset.  Our sw comes tomorrow night to show us the dvd but we will be saying no as there are too many things that don't feel right - thought the idea of all the intrusive questions during home study is so your sw gets to know you so well that you don't get shown children that are not right for you    

Misty - glad to have been of help.

Thanks for everyone's comments - very supportive as usual  

Bye for now


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## gap

BunBun said:


> Just a quick one to let you know we got a phone call last night & we're going to panel tomorrow. Sw's have accepted that we can't give any more details than we already have. Nervous but excited.


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## gap

oppps ..... sorry still new to this posting .... wanted to add good luck bunbun 

gap x


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## Jayne

Hi hun, just read your news on the adoption thread.  Really sorry that the match wasn't for you - can't imagine how painful it is to go through that   Hope things get easier for you soon.  Thinking of you x 

Jayne x


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## fiona1

Hi Everyone,

Superal - I guess you are on holiday now, have a good birthday.

Bunbun - All the best for today iw i'll be thinking of you.

Gap - Welcome to the boards and good luck with your journey.

Rianna - So sorry to hear your news, i have no advice to offer, I have everything crossed for your little girl.

Hi everyone else. I am sorry i am so rubbish with personnels, Misty C your last post was mamouth WELL DONE.

We have SW coming out today for HV number 3, all our friends had their references through this week,lots of phone calls. I think they are worried they will stuff it up for us. I kept saying they are one of 6 couples so not to worry about what they are writting and i am sure it wil be fine.

Hope you are all ok, i will start posting everyday now, as i can't keep up with everyones news, then feel guilty when i don't do personnels.

Take Care 

Fiona


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## Misty C

Hi everyone

Good luck at Panel tomorrow BunBun, I will be thinking of you.

Fiona - hope your home visit goes well, we have 3 sets of couples down as our references and they have yet to be approached.  I know what you mean about my post, its good to catch up but I will have to stop wittering on!

Freezing here today - need to go and get the heating cranked up.

Love 'n' hugs
Misty C
xxx


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## cindyp

Good luck for panel tomorrow BunBun

Cindy


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## naoise

BunBun all the best for tomorrow will be thinking of you.

Fiona hope your visit goes well tomorrow. Our friends who were our refs were also worried in case they messed things up but everything was fine as I am sure your will be.

Rianna sorry to hear about your father-in-law I am so sorry. Thinking of you both.

We have no news here as usual waiting for the phone to ring.

love k


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## LB

Good luck for tomrrow bunbun  
i am sure everything will be fine.

LB
X


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## Mel

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=82475.new#new

New home


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