# How many IVF cycles is enough?



## mms (May 25, 2009)

Just wondering out of curiosity, how many IVF cycles do you think would you go through before deciding that enough is enough and maybe you just have to let go and decide that maybe you're not meant to be a parent?


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## bombsh3ll (Apr 19, 2012)

Hi mms,

I'd decided to have one cycle a year until I was 50 (started at 31), provided no medical contraindications arose & I could fund it without getting into debt. Thankfully it didn't come to that.

I'd decided on 3 OE cycles initially but couldn't face another round of stimms after 2. If our fresh DE cycle hadn't worked we would then have moved to frozen DD for future cycles as this was cheaper.

I suppose it also depends on other options available to you as well - we'd looked at adoption as plan A but weren't candidates so IVF was the only way.

B xxx


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## Fiftyshades34 (Jan 21, 2015)

Hi,

I guess it's how many times you want to put yourself through it. I've got a few friends who were lucky first time and others that took several goes.

I've been thinking this myself but I have low amh and my body will give up sooner than later. 

Xx


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## mms (May 25, 2009)

Im 31 with high AMH.. i just dont know why its not working with me so far and neither do the doctors. So far I had 4 fresh cycles with this being the 4th and im in the 2ww.. i have 1 boy who was conveived naturally, unfortunatly he might need BMT with stem cells from a matched sibling.. so we are doing this for two reasons.. one because we want to have another baby and two because we have to cure our diseased child. I feel i am already under so much pressure.. and donor eggs or embryos is not a option for us here..
im not sure if I should let go or if I should fight for my child. Having HLA matched stem cells is like making plan B ready incase things go worse god forbids, so far he is doing well and there are medications that keep his condition under controll.. but we dont know for sure how things will be down the road and doctors keep asking us to make plan B ready just incase..as if that was in our hands!! Its a tough one for us..


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## Josie1 (Sep 30, 2013)

I've always said I would do between 4 and 6 cycles. I've had 3 fresh and 1 frozen with no joy. I don't think there's a number that enough is enough as everyone is so different. 

It really depends how much you can take emotionally, physically and financially IMO. I want to keep trying until I'm successful as I see it so many times on here people taking 5 or 6 attempts and it working then and no reason for it failing all the other times. 

The only thing that will stop us personally is money or my age x


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## bombsh3ll (Apr 19, 2012)

What a difficult situation to be in  

I hope this time will be lucky for you.

B xxx


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## Blondie71 (Oct 26, 2011)

Oh mms wish I had a magic wand for you, let's hope this cycle is the one  

I always said 3 oe cycles but to be honest after 2nd cycle I was ready to quit, luckily I had frosties from that 2nd cycle and fet worked, if it hadn't worked I would have moved to embryo adoption as it was cheaper than double donor and if that didn't work think it would have been time to move on x


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## Greengirl72 (Nov 7, 2014)

Hi, I guess it is different for everyone.  I know a girl that tried 7 times and fell pregnant and gave birth on the 7th attempt.  That was in Australia where IVF is so much cheaper.  I am 43 and am trying once.  We don't have the money to do it more than that, unless something amazing financially happens to us.  So finance often drives the decision.

I think for many people getting pregnant and giving birth is the most important thing.  For others (like me) becoming a parent, whether that is naturally or via adoption is something that is important.  If it doesn't work naturally, (which it hasn't), then IVF was like ...well we will give it a shot...if it doesn't work, well then there are other options to have a family.

I think it comes down to what you really want in life.  Your own natural child, having the experience of pregnancy and childbirth to have a child or to just love a child.  There is no right or wrong answer and no answer to what the number of times are for trying.

I think if you start suffering big time mentally, then it might be time to try to work towards letting go.  I see from lots of people in the forums and for me too - that this fertility journey certainly puts other aspects of my life on hold and life is really about living.  If you stop living your life by trying to create one - I tend to think the balance is too much one way.  Life is short and you just need to careful to make sure you keep some sanity for yourself at all times...(or as best as you can)!


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

i think it's important to set a limit when you start or you'd go crazy with the stress of it. but everyone's limit could be different. for us we said three fresh cycles: but when we started the second one (after bfn from #1) i said i was stopping after two if we had no new information, i wasn't prepared to keep doing the same thing and not learning anything from it. I miscarried but at least we learnt i could get preg so we did go for the third go. 
good luck i hope it works out


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## Shoegirl10 (Dec 24, 2011)

Hi
When I first started this journey I said 3 attempts... well 5 IVFs later and here I am!
I have had 3 out of 5 end in miscarriage .. we are now moving onto to DE- which to be honest I wish we had down all the way along.
I think you will know when the time is right. It is strange for me as when I am cycling and just post cycle I want to carry on but when I am in between cycles I actually enjoy it just me and my DH.
DH and I chose the decision to go to DE (even though we were never told there was a an egg quality issue) because financially I couldn't gamble on my OE and we are now with a clinic in Spain and so happy

XXX


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## coucou2009 (Sep 12, 2012)

I don`t really post much anymore but thought this question was a bit thought provoking. I think it is twofold. One is how much can you physically and emotionally take. IVF takes a toll on you in so many ways. Only you and your partner can know how many times is just right. Of course doctors can have a say because it is very medical. 
The second issue or driver is money. How much do you want to spend? With fertility treatments it can sometimes become a moneypit in the sense that you keep going and going and find it hard to stop.

But in the end you need to do what makes you feel comfortable. A lot of it is luck and a numbers game. In people that have no issues you only have a 20 percent chance each month. Good luck


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