# Solo mummies - dc child(ren) - not telling child or undecided



## Me Myself and I (Dec 30, 2012)

Hi
Pretty much as per the title! Are there any other solo mummies definitely not telling their child or unsure?
I'm most certainly in latter camp!
I suppose I am looking for some support if I can call it that from others considering the same?

_
PLEASE do NOT take this as an opportunity to berate and tell me why I should tell. If I wanted that I'd go to the tell the child threads._


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## Me Myself and I (Dec 30, 2012)

Anyone?


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## Persipan (Feb 22, 2015)

Could be wrong, but I suspect that those planning not to tell are more often hetero couples (though not all couples!), while same-sex couples and single women probably tend more often towards the 'telling' camp just through circumstance. Certainly for myself as a single woman, my intention would be to tell because I think otherwise I'd be leaving a very obvious question unanswered, and the conclusions people (including my child) might jump to could be less positive than the reality. None of that is intended as criticism of you - you get to make whatever decisions you think are right for you and your family - but I suspect that might be why you haven't had much response.


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## Mrs G 0207 (Jul 8, 2014)

As someone very strongly in the NOT telling camp. My only concern is as the previous poster has said could you handle your child/their peers/other people judging you and thinking it may be an 'accident' through a 1night stand.


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## Me Myself and I (Dec 30, 2012)

Thank you for your reply.

Maybe someone will be in the same position at some point and reply?

For me being in such a small community makes being 110% honest from the start challenging as young children share everything and then once it's out there there's no unsaying it which in our circumstances means the news will travel before them until college age.

I remember an adopted child at school saying this very thing and how she hated the world knowing HER stuff.


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## Blondie71 (Oct 26, 2011)

I also agree it's unlikely (although not impossible) you'll find other singles not telling as most of us have worked through that this is the most obvious way to a family for us without the 1 night stand stigma attached as that has too many negative repercussions on a child down the line, have you got a plan in mind for when the time comes what you'll say to your lo? I do understand your reasons as I live in a small area and people aren't all that progressive tbh and I now keep alot of info just for those that need to know who are close to us purely for my sons right to privacy until they wish to part with that info on their own terms.


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## Blondie71 (Oct 26, 2011)

Btw I'm not telling my children until they are old enough to understand and well able to grasp fully what I'm telling them, storybooks from young isn't my idea it's too confusing imo but everyone has diff opinion


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## bundles (Jul 16, 2011)

I know someone who is telling about DS but not telling about DE. Being older & single she has told people it is IVF with DS thus removing any stigma. As far as I know she has had no negativity. May be the way to go, helped out by the 'you were so very wanted' logic - sorry, don't mean that sarcastically am just very tired & off to bed in a minute 
xx


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