# Adoption and Moving Home



## Marsh (Jan 10, 2006)

HI All,
This question has been running round in my mind for a long while and I need your advice. 

We are currently undergoing ICSI but this is our last attempt.  If this does not work we are going to go down the adoption route however we are wanting to move home from the UK to Southern Ireland.  I know you have to have your support lines and friends and family at this time but we have.  My Dad, brothers and sisters are here in the UK but are 30 miles away.  Although the neighbours are here we hardly see them with work etc. 

Moving to Ireland would be a better life for a child as we have purchased 1.2 acres in the countryside and are hoping to self build.  This is about 20 miles away from my husbands parents home and we also seem to have more friends over there too. 

I know the process can take a while but we dont really want to delay things as I am 30 and my husband is 33 and we want to see our kids grow up. 

Also making this move I would not need to work so can devote all my time to the family which makes sense to me more. 

I know if I move and then start the process I would have to wait for a while until we are settled over there and the house is well underway.  I keep thinking though if only we had a child naturally we could just up sticks and move anyway. 

Does anyone else have any experiences you can share with me or any advice?

thanks 
Marsh


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## Guest (Mar 21, 2006)

Hi Marsh

I'm not a regular poster on this board but I do read often. In my opinion, you would be better off moving and then applying.

Most LA's make you wait at least 6 months after fertility treatment before starting adoption and usually 12 months. So you are at least a year off applying anyway. Then it can take some time to get through the process to panel (read some of the other stories on here - but it took us just under a year to get approved) Some people can be waiting again for a considerable time to be matched to a child. It could take a couple of years  - so you may be here for a while if you don't move first.
So by the time you had moved, sorted your house and got the process underway, it probably wouldn't take any longer anyway.

Hope this helps.....


Witch


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi Marsh,

southern ireland is a different country to the UK, so a completely new set of legislation comes in. They have very few adoptions in the republic, as they have some arcane laws (church set). For example a child cannot be adopted if its parents are married.....and this often comes down to the mother being married to someone. They can be longterm fostered but not adopted. So pretty much all the adoption that happens there is overseas. My friend was told when she enquired about overseas adoption that it could be several years to get approved.

you'd probably have to get approved here, get the child settled here for a couple of years, and then move??

hope that's not too bad news!
XXRuthie


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi Marsh

I don't know about the situation in Southern Ireland, however I do know that most LA's would not consider placing a child if you were planning to move straight away.  They feel that a child should be settled into the family before any major changes take place so I'm afraid the decision is either

Move, Settle, Adopt
Adopt, Settle, Move

Sorry couldn't have been of more help

Cindy


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## twinkles (Jan 31, 2005)

Hi Marsh,

Im from southern Ireland so i know how your thinking!!  My mum is a foster mum who ironicly enough used to foster a lot of Pre-adoption babies so we have seen how things have changed there over the years.  About 12 years ago or so there were lot's of babies up for adoption but now there are hardly any irish babies as it is becoming more acceptable for young girls to keep their babies and there is a lot more financial and emotional support for them.  In Ireland we do not work on the same foster system as the UK (ie it is the main aim for children to be kept in their natural home, or for the crisis to be solved and the children to return to their natural family) so you do not get a lot of children coming into care and then being adopted, they just go into care for a longer period of time (i have a foster brother who has lived with use for 17 years but my mum was never able to adopt him as the opportunity would never arise).

The only bit of hope i can give you is that i know a lot of irish people who have adopted from Eastern Europe.  Ireland shares a completely different relationship with Eastern Europe than the UK.  They do not charge for Irish adoptions as they do here and infact a lot more Eastern European countries will allow their children to be adopted by Irish Citizens but not by UK Citizens.

Ireland is a lovely place to live & bring up children but I can see how you are in two minds about things...it's one of those 'i wish i had a crystal ball' situations isn't it  

good luck with your decision!!  Im so jelous of you moving to Ireland...i say that now but after 2 weeks of having my mother-in-law on my doorstep every second day i'd probably be hot-footing it back to the UK for peace & quiet  

Lou.


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi again,

here's hoping your next TX works and you won't have to worry about all this for a few years!

Like Lou i also have a foster brother back home who came to live with us when he was 10 days old, and is still with us now, and is almost 21. We tried to adopt him but couldn't.

good luck with it all,
Ruth


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## Marsh (Jan 10, 2006)

Hi all,
thanks for all your replies.  I was expecting my AF this morning and its not arrived so 3 nights to go until testing. 

      

marsh


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

thursday is my birthday, so here's hoping its a good day for us both!!


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## Marsh (Jan 10, 2006)

Hi Ruth,

Wishing you a Happy Birthday.

I have done two tests and they are both negative.  One at 6am and another at 8am. 

I had a slight brown gunk at 6am but nothing like this at 8am.  If I am not pregnant where is my AF.  The test said if AF not arrived yet then test again in 3 more days.  My friend who is pregnant said she had 3 negatives this time and she is 8 months pregnant now.  Sometimes brand change.  If AF doesnt arrive I will try again on Sunday.

Take Care all,
Marsh


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

any news marsh?


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