# Single women needing donor eggs



## Elpida

I hope it's ok that I start this thread. Unfortunately there's been a few of us recently who are having to consider the implications of needing donor eggs/embyos and there are several who are already on this route. With the waiting times, costs and anonymity implications as single women we have additional considerations as well as having to come to terms with not being able to use our own eggs.

Whilst I'm preparing for a short protocol IVF using my own eggs for   some time in July I've also approached Reprofit about going on their donor egg waiting list (they're currently scheduling for April 2010)  but would really like to investigate treatment in this country because of the anonymity issue.

I feel like after only one go at IVF I'm still getting my head round all you need to know in order to manage the medical/treatment type of things let alone having to deal with clinics and waiting lists etc when it comes to donor eggs. I'm still considering asking my sister and am encouraging her to get AMH etc tested (for her own benefit as much as mine) but I have a feeling that asking her to donate would put stress on our relationship and that's too important to risk. 

Maybe those of us on this particular journey can share info and advice to ease the navigation?

E x


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## suitcase of dreams

Hi E,

As you know I've recently gone down this path and am happy to offer thoughts if it will help.

I knew all along that I would not be comfortable with an anon donor, so I've only ever looked at the UK. I was on the waiting list at Reprofit at one point but I never really felt OK about it. I know for many women it's not an issue, and if you're OK with anon donor I would def advise going to Reprofit - it's SO much cheaper. 

One thing I would say is that the waiting lists in the UK are not as bad as you might have heard - at least LWC has found me one match (and offered 2 possible others) relatively quickly. I went on the list end Feb and will end up with ET end Aug so 6 months in total. CRM are also quoting 3-6 months with several women being matched in 2 months. So it's def worth talking to UK clinics about waiting lists but the prices are pretty eye watering I have to say!

LWC has been very easy - perhaps because I have already had tx there. I have not needed to have any extra counselling, or go through a mock cycle, pretty much just pay the bill and off I go.

CRM is more complex. Single women having double donation have to be assessed by their counsellor and their case put to a review committee. I met the counsellor on Monday and it was no problem - she's happy to put me forward for tx. It does slow things down a bit, but in a way it's also reassuring that the clinic take the welfare of the child seriously. 

re your sister - does she have kids already? That's what made me really hesistate with my sister. Although the middle one has kids, she has the challenge of deaf kids, a husband with a heart problem and I suspect she might fail the egg donor tests anyway on account of being a carrier for the syndrome which causes the deafness in her little ones. So she was out automatically. The other sis has not had kids and I just could not bear to think that she might go through IVF for me and then not be able to have her own....so I didn't even ask. 

The medical side of donor tx is actually easy - you just pop a few pills and wait for ET! 

Anyway, feel free to ask questions if you have any specific ones, and it's nice anyway to have a thread for us double donor girls  

Suitcase
x


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## Candee

Hi Suity and Esperanza,
I am going down the anonymous eggs abroad route and I am ok with this - I am having treatment in South Africa and having my sperm imported from the European sperm bank, so that any child could trace half of its genetic heritage. Although I do have quite a bit of information on the egg donor, it is anonymous and I will have to deal with any issues that arise, if a baby grew up and wanted more information and could not get it. However, I am happy with everything overall, but what I would say is that the clinic I went to in the UK, who told me I had no chance with my own eggs, also told me
that single women can't get eggs in this country. I had already made all my decisions, paid for my egg donor and was well on the way
to going abroad when I found out that this is not the case. To be honest, when you live in a society where single women can't get 
treatment on the NHS, I was only to ready to believe that they don't get donor eggs either. I do feel a bit let down by the clinic -
I am not sure what I would have chosen to do. I may have still decided to go abroad because you get to see pictures of the donor
and because the donors are young. However, I will never know, because I didn't even research the UK, because the clinic told me to forget it, when
I mentioned donor eggs. 

Anyway, can I just echo that it is nice to have a double donor thread! Yay!


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## indekiwi

Good on you Esperanza!  When I was going through my last cycle of IVF using donor eggs and sperm (Feb/Mar) I didn't really feel that I belonged on any thread (though you'll have noticed that it hasn't stopped me from posting virtually anywhere and everywhere!  )  

I guess what I wanted to add to the discussion thus far is the difference - and dilemmas - of using altruistic and egg sharing donors.  My first egg donor was an altruistic donor - every egg she produced was for my use.  I will forever be grateful, no matter that there wasn't the hopeful outcome following the treatment.  However, there are incredibly few women coming forward altruistically (in this country at least) due to the anonymity factor.  The waiting lists are therefore long at clinics who only use altruistic donors.  Also, due to many women who would consider giving altruistically having already finished having their families, it seems much more likely that altruistic donors as a whole are closer to the age cut off point than might be the case for egg sharers.  I have no evidence to say this, it is simply a hunch.

I had considered egg share, with its financial implications, as something slightly tarnished, as a way of exploiting women who did not otherwise have the financial wherewithal to have treatment without donating.  I did not initially see it as a way of helping someone less able to afford treatment to achieve their dream while I achieved mine.  I also didn't take into account that some women might partially be doing it for financial reasons, but also partially to help others who had lost the chance to conceive using their own eggs.  

I had also thought initially that due to egg sharing donors needing fertility treatment, their recipients were less likely to fall pregnant.  There are certainly different egg sharing "rules" put in place by clinics who offer this service.  CRM, for example, only selects donors with very specific issues - either male factor or where the tubes are damaged but the ovaries are fine.  It splits the eggs evenly between donor and one recipient as to number and quality.  Other clinics will accept a much broader array of egg donors and if the donor manages to produce more than 6 - 8 eggs then the remainder are given to a second and maybe even a third recipient - the idea is that they all get 3 or 4 apiece!!    The biggest issue of all, to my mind, is where the recipient gets pregnant and the donor does not.  We have a number of ladies posting on the singles boards where this has not happened just the once, but on two and even three occasions.  I find it heartbreaking.  On the plus side, egg sharing donors are VERY motivated to make things work, so to my mind are more likely to be careful about their diet, taking their folic acid, following their drug protocol religiously, etc.  They have a vested interest in making things work.  

If you decide to go abroad for treatment, it seems to me that you are much more likely to have access to younger donors and the cost savings can be substantial BUT there is less comfort about whether they follow the correct drug protocols / are careful about their diet and of course in most cases there is strict anonymity in force.  For this last point, there will be people who decide never to tell their offspring that they are conceived from donor eggs, so this would be a huge attraction.  For me, with a son conceived from anonymous donor sperm, this is somewhat problematic - it wasn't when I conceived him but now he is asking sporadic questions it becomes a very real consideration as I look to using donor eggs.  There are no right or wrong answers regarding the anonymity question and personally, I perceive personal identity in a very different manner than I used to, and hope to share this with my offspring so that they are no longer bound by biological linkages but can be exactly who and what they want to be.  Nonetheless, given that I want my son and my next child(ren) to have some shared genetic link, and that it won't be me, and that I am still able to use the anonymous sperm donor who helped me create DS, it would be useful for me to be able to point my future child(ren) in the direction of the HFEA green form with its details about the egg donor and give them the option of finding out more in the future.

And there endeth my thoughts on this part of using donor eggs!   

A-Mx


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## Candee

Indewiki you are right - we need this thread because I also feel I don't quite belong anywhere and I would love to have a 
'home' thread! There are lots of us double donors on the boards and it would be nice for us to have somewhere to hang out! 
Candee
x


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## suitcase of dreams

Very eloquently put - as always - Inde  

I shall no doubt continue to post anywhere and everywhere, but it is particularly nice to also have a thread which specifically relates to what I'm doing for tx right now  

Suitcase
x


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## midnightaction

I wanted to post some additional comments adding to what Inde put, I am not using donor eggs but I have seen it from the other side as a Egg Sharer and just thought I could give a tiny bit of insight 

I agree somewhat with Inde that I originally went into being an Egg Sharer because of financial reasons because I just could not afford a whole cycle myself but that certainly didn't last very long and it soon became an altruistic thing for me. As you can see from my signature on my first cycle I did not have enough eggs to share and gave all of my eggs to my recipient. That was the hardest decision of my life, and as I sat in the hospital bed afterwards with about 15 mins to make the decision so many feelings crossed my mind, but the one that kept occurring was the other lady that was involved in the situation, the lady that was sat at home by the phone waiting patiently for that phone call to be told how many eggs she had. I kept thinking about how long she had been waiting and how broken hearted she might be if I said no. My then partner and myself made the decision to donate all of the eggs, I was young and knew I could go again many times, it was a painful decision but one that was very right.

I then went on to egg share again after this because the feeling I got from helping someone out was truly amazing and I wanted to do it again. Both times I egg shared my recipient became pregnant. Despite the fact that I am yet to conceive I am so over the moon for these 2 women and so happy that something extremely small that I did has turned into something so big for these ladies.

Anyway I am going off the point here and not really focusing on what I was trying to say . Inde is so right when she says that women who are sharing their eggs put 100% into it, they have everything invested in it working as well as you do, they will be taking care of their self and those precious eggs. Thats not to say that donors who are not sharing won't because I think these women are amazing and if they are prepared to go through this process then they are obviously prepared to invest as much time as possible into making sure that it all goes right.

Also egg sharers are not always sharers because they have fertility issues, in my case that was most certainly not the case. I was in a lesbian relationship and had the obvious issue of no sperm so Egg Sharing was the perfect way for me, turns out my eggs were actually really great but they just don't want to work for me.

I know when your doing an Egg Donor cycle your paying an extreme amount of money and you want it to be perfect (I know I would too) and also it can sometimes be the only chance you have but please don't discount eggs sharers from this because sometimes even though you are only getting half of the eggs you might otherwise get you are getting little eggs that have been extremely well taken care of.

I call myself an altruistic donor 100%, I did get financial gain from it but the choices I made along the way were done from the heart and not because I could gain anything from it. I am no longer egg sharing because selfishly I want to now concentrate on getting myself pregnant, but for all the other sharers out there I urge you to consider them for all of the reasons that inde stated.

Sarah xx


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## Betty-Boo

Brilliant - have been thinking about doing a DE thread for a while now as I find it really hard sometimes reading about those who are not happy with their egg collection.  For some of us who will NEVER achieve that it can be a bit insensitive - I know it wasn't meant as insensitive - but as everyone knows DE is not something we go into lightly.  
I found reading information on epigenetics really helped me and my mum get our heads round the donor side of things.  I do have the article, if anyone wants a copy pm me your email address.
Big hugs mini x


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## indekiwi

> I am no longer egg sharing because selfishly I want to now concentrate on getting myself pregnant


Sarah, not sure quite how you managed to get "I" and "selfish" into the same sentence....now if you'd mentioned "generous", "giving", or "compassionate" I'd have bought it!!!  It's because of amazing women like you that I can even have a shot at adding to my family, and I am just so grateful. To be clear, my next donor will almost certainly be an egg sharer. 



> I find it really hard sometimes reading about those who are not happy with their egg collection.


Mini, I'm with you...    Oh, for the chance to produce "only" 6 eggs!!

This said, I think of Suity's experience recently where despite having a shedload of eggs none of them were viable.  I wonder how many women have spent tens of thousands of pounds on multiple cycles of IVF believing they have a chance, even if small, of falling pregnant, when in reality the quantity has hidden issues about the quality of their eggs and they literally have no chance of ever achieving their dream using their own eggs.  At least when you go through the trauma of producing few if any eggs during a cycle of treatment (for the record, it took months for me to come to terms with this and the utter disbelief, despair and numbness were feelings I wouldn't wish on anyone  ), you get the heads up to change tactics relatively quickly.

Candee, I'm with you on the discriminatory (and outright misleading) aspects of single women and treatment.   Our treatment is invariably complicated by the requirement for additional counselling (when being a DD recipient) and review committees, where others sit in judgement of whether or not our eventual offspring will have their welfare needs met and for the 10 minute discussion at the latter charge us hundreds of pounds more than those seeking treatment as couples. Many counsellors (though far from all) are poorly informed or simply inept in this area, and as we've seen on another thread, often provide their own opinions rather than help us to a better understanding of what we are doing and why we are doing it. I suspect that when you're a single woman egg donor, it's a whole different story, since you enter the equation with what in my industry would be called a valued added proposal  (ie you don't just bring money to the table). Maybe Sarah or others could lend their own experience of this? The whole NHS debacle viz adopting the NICE guidelines is another way of ensuring that only those single women with a reasonably high level of income, an inheritance, generous parents or an extraordinary gift for saving hard can even hope to undergo treatment - and one go on the NHS would provide many single women with at least one chance of conceiving, rather than missing out completely or having to resort to other methods in order to conceive. Anyway, this last issue is only relevant to the DE topic because if you need donor eggs as a single woman then you absolutely require fertility treatment to have a child - it is not simply a case of not being in a heterosexual relationship, it is a genuine medical requirement.  

Damn, I've just been on my soap box again....sorry. Eloquence be damned Suity, I'm just long winded on occasion!  

A-Mx


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## Sima

Go Inde - I think you always make your point very well.  I love reading your posts so do fill free to get on your soap box as often as you want to. 

As for me - I think I am reaching a crossroad in terms of my treatment.  I always knew I would be a poor responder in terms of IVF and even on my first consult with my clinic 12 months ago I was given the donor egg chat.  However, I do produce eggs just not too many of them.  Part of me feels that I still have at least 1 more IVF in me but I really need to decide should I continue with my own eggs or move now to donor eggs.  I am about to book my follow up consult with Cornell in the next week or so, so I should hopefully have some answers as to which way to turn next.  I will never know if my left ovary contained any/many viable eggs but at the moment I really do not think that I can go through another egg collection where I am drugged and then woken up only to be told I have got 2 eggs.  I know I should feel blessed to get that stage and I do feel blessed that I have been able to create embyros and to be PUPO but emotionally my tx's have taken a lot out of me.

The use of donor eggs has been at the back of my mind ever since my failed cycle back in October (when I had the second "donor egg chat" from my consultant) and I have done a bit of research around this avenue.  I am comfortable with not having a genetic link to the child since I think it is the act of motherhood which makes a person a mother.  What I do need to be comfortable with is should I use donor eggs to create my family or should I go down the adoption route since I am aware there are many children in care waiting for homes.  This is particularly true of black and mixed race children.  I would love to be pregnant and give birth to a child. Perhaps I could do both - ie give birth to a child and then go on to adopt.  I also know that the wait list for black donors in this country is quite long so if I did decide to go down the donor egg route then there is a high possibility that I would need to go abroad (ie South Africa, US or Carribbean) to get my treatment.  This is one of the reasons I am really interested to see how Candee and Tinkelbunny get on with their treatment in SA. I do have lots to think about but I do like coming here to share all of your journeys because all of your efforts do help me to make a more informed choice.

Has anyone heard of any stories of children conceived by double donation?  I have heard positive stories from DCN of children being conceived by sperm donation or by egg donation but never both.  Are all the children still young so we don't have any feedback just yet?  When I say stories I mean feedback from children as to how they feel about their genetic make up.

That's all from me.  

Sima x


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## indekiwi

Update time - heard from my new clinic today that I have been accepted for treatment as a double donor recipient so am now marking time for some lovely donor to rock up.    The bad news is of course that this could be 6 weeks or 6 months - worse than the TWW in my view when at least you know the date of reckoning.  

Sima, I haven't heard anything from double donor offspring, and am unsure when this option even became available for people needing help from two donors.  Might be worth a post on the DCN forum.  

A-Mx


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## Candee

Hi Inde,
Let's hope it doesn't take too long! Fingers crossed - I know that Suitcase was offered a donor very quickly.

With me its two steps forward and three steps back! I was so pleased to get my treatment plan, so that I 
could book my flights and confirm my accomodation. Then I made an appointment to see my doctor, to get her to 
prescribe me the medication and guess what? I went tonight but she has gone off on long-term sick... 
The locum was not prepared to presribe me anything and there did not seem to be any record of my Doctor promising 
to prescribe it for me... All a bit upsetting! This was the _only_ help I was going to get, every other test and everything 
I have paid for... I feel really upset... but there you go. I think I will now have to use the International Pharmacy and it will cost
about £600, which is nothing compared to rest of the costs... 
I am more upset at the reaction of the Doctor... donor eggs abroad, how dodgy... 
you're trying to hoodwink me into giving you medication... where is this clinic? What is going on here? It was awful and I feel so angry 
and humiliated. 
Oh well! Just another problem to sort out and I will and I will keep on moving forward. 
Candee


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## Betty-Boo

Candee - what meds have you been prescribed??  I have used Ali's at Shadwells - or Yasser as he is now... Mine didn't cost anything like that - might be worth dropping him a line.. . . I just emailed him a copy of my treatment plan and we went from there..     

Inde - here's hoping a donor is just round the next corner for you honey     

Sima - has anyone discussed the use of DHEA with you??  Might be worth a try honey... 
I think that we are such strong women that, hopefully, our children will not feel 'different' having come from double donation..... and we can answer all their questions.. 

big hugs mini x


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## indekiwi

Candee,        

Let me at the  , just give me a great big stick and the address!!!!    

So sorry you've had this sort of experience - it's not just the cost, it's the having to explain everything all over again to a stranger with the ability to make things as easy, or as difficult, as they choose, seemingly on a whim.  What's with your doctor leaving you in the lurch with no note on your file even?!   

Still, you'll be on a plane very soon, greeting those little embies and be on the TWW before you know it - which hopefully is a useful way of putting the figurative two fingers up at the aforementioned locum!
 

Mini, our posts have crossed - you're not wrong about the strong women bit - chuck in super determined as well - I suspect many many people would have simply have given up rather than fight on at this stage for our longed for children.   

A-Mx


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## Betty-Boo

Inde we're great aren't we!!  That's the thing I love about this site - yes our double donor children may have come from a different circumstance but it is soooo reassuring that we all have each other to learn from and support / gain support.  I expect our children will gain so much from the support on here and the main thing is - they will not be alone!
Rose honey   great to 'see' you.  How are you? x
Candee - I hope you've managed to sort something honey...   
Sima  
Hello to one and all x x


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## suitcase of dreams

Inde - great news that you have the go ahead. Hope you are matched really soon
Kate from CRM left me a message earlier so I assume she wanted to discuss the same thing with me - will call her tomorrow

Candee - I know exactly how you feel about the GP, I got the same talk when I tried to ask my GP to prescribe IVF drugs. She implied I was an idiot for going abroad and was risking my health by doing so. Pah, what does she know? 
 - hope you get it all sorted out without too much trouble

Sima - I've not seen anything from double donor children - perhaps not enough of them are old enough to talk about it yet. Worth a try with DCN though to see if they have any info - perhaps there may be some research done in the US? 

Hope you're all well. I'm not posting much right now, just super busy with work and family stuff. My nephew has his cochlear implant op on Monday so I'll be up there looking after my 2 nieces whilst my sis and BIL are at the hospital, and on Tues I'm off on holiday for a week - hurrah!

Anyway, am thinking of you all, take care, 
Suitcase
x


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## Elpida

I just wanted to pop on here and say that I've drafted several replies but I feel so confused about this whole topic at the moment that I just keep deleting it. I've been really interested to read all your views.

Inde - great news that you've been accepted by CRM

Suity - hope all goes well with your nephew, I hope you get good news from CRM too.

Candee - the ignorance of some people is shocking, I hope you manage to get a px sorted soon.

I've requested to be placed on the waiting list at Reprofit and have contacted LWC and CRM. I'm still hoping to have one more try with my own eggs next month and I'm pretty terrified about it all I think. I just want to get on with it and see if I respond any differently. I can't make decisions till then, but also need to be thinking ahead. The more I think about donor eggs the more difficult it gets. I don't feel comfortable with anonymous donation at the moment so hope that CRM or LWC are possibilities. 

Oh, what a muddle.

Take care all

E x


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## indekiwi

Suity, can't imagine it won't be the same message - great to have options isn't it?! Hope your nephew's implant goes smoothly, and that you have a fantastic time on hols! 

Esperanza, post when you're ready...we'll be here if and when you are.   In the meantime, here's hoping the whole thing is academic because your own eggs do the trick next month. 

Mini, yes, I am determined to broaden my family's world to include single women with kids conceived with the help of both single and double donors. I want my son and my next child to know they are not alone, and nor that they are "special" in some way, just simply normal kids growing up in loving families and who just happen to have parents who work damned hard to make their dreams come true. 

All, Drowned Girl posted the following blog link under the donor sperm / eggs board - just in case you don't browse over there, I have copied and pasted below. It is very poignant and I am smiling through the tears.

http://worrierwarrior.wordpress.com/2009/05/10/dear-me/

A-Mx

/links


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## ♥Jovial♥

Esperanza     this journey can get awfully confusing sometimes.  I'm with Inde in thinking hopefully it will work out for you next month    Take care of yourself  

Have a nice holiday Suity, hope Monday goes well.  

Candee hope you get everything sorted.

Inde great news from clinic   it won't be too long.

Mini   hunni

Hello anyone I've missed
Jovi x


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## Candee

Hi Guys,
Its nice to know that you are all on my side!   I felt better as soon as I had had my whinge  
I love our new thread Esperanza and I am so glad you started it. 
Inde I had read the post from drowned girl before and I cried a bucket - it is so lovely!
Esperanza, I hope you manage to sort things out and fingers crossed for you that it works next month  
Mini thanks again for the help re: Shadwells, which I think will be the way forward for me!
Hi to Sima, Rose, Suitcase, Midnight and Jovi  
Candee
x
P.S. Think that is everyone!  
P.P.S Back on the positive thinking!


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## Damelottie

Candee - they can't do that. Change their minds from one GP to another. Either your PCT does or it doesn't fund the meds for you to have the treatment. The GP's can't switch the policy around between themselves. Write to the practice manager and ask for clarification - that's what they're there for. 

Good luck


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## Candee

Hi LadyLottie,
Firstly, can I say again how impressive your Boudica outfit is?!  
Re: the meds, I know that you are right, but for what it will cost me to buy the
drugs, I just can't be bothered to go through the stress. It is easier
for me to just buy them and let it go. I know I am a coward   But the
Doctor yesterday made me feel like a criminal and I can't go through that
again. 
Anyway, Minnie has given me the details for Ali in Shadwell and I am going 
to email him and see how much it will be to buy them for myself.

In more positive news, the clinic in SA have got the import permit for my sperm to 
be imported, so my little Danish wrigglies should be setting off for South Africa
at some stage next week    Hurray!
The egg donor has been confirmed and it is all systems go!

Anyway, enough of the me, me, me post!
I hope all is well with everyone!
Take care
Candee
x


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## Betty-Boo

Brilliant news Candee - all system go!!      
Mini x


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## Damelottie

It is great news Candee    

I don't blame you at all re: the meds. It really is so tiresome having to fight these things. When I got my BFP, my PCT wouldn't do a pg test, or an early scan even though I was bleeding  . I just went straight to the local private hospital and paid - too stressful to do anything else   

GOOD LUCK xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## lulumead

great news Candee that its all moving ahead.. exciting.  
x


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## suitcase of dreams

Great news Candee, hope all goes smoothly from now on  

I'm not sure what's happening with me now. Have been 'approved' by CRM for tx, so can go on their waiting list. But they have no sperm so have to import and the US sperm bank they use does not have even one donor which meets my criteria - blonde/red/fair hair, blue eyes, CMV negative (clinic will not back down on the CMV status even though this was never questioned on previous cycles)
I feel that I'm not being too restrictive at all with those criteria, I'm not putting any restrictions on height, qualifications or anything else, just hair and eye colour. So bit disappointed by that. Have been told I can look at other donor banks as long as they meet HFEA requirements. Reluctant to use ESB because of £1000 extra charge for UK pregnancy slot. Will look into Cryos and see if they are viable alternative

Meantime, supposed to be going ahead with LWC in July/Aug but now very worried about their donor bank situation. Not going to pay to go ahead with cycle, start drugs etc, only to find no sperm. 

So having felt like it was all coming together, I now feel rather stuck again. If only things could just be easy  

On a positive note my nephew is out of theatre and the implant operation went well with no complications so that's a relief. You try not to think about it too much at the time but having holes drilled into a 2 yr old's skull is pretty scary....
My sister and BIL are with him now and he's doing well, should be back home tomorrow. Baby is sleeping and my niece has been taken out for a couple of hours with her grandma (BIL's mum) so it's all peaceful here and I can get a bit of work done. 

Love to all,
Suitcase
x


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## indekiwi

Suity, great news re your nephew!  Not an easy thing for a little tyke to go through.  Hope it proves successful for him (and your sister and BIL).    

Re CMV, can you not give a written waiver that you understand the (minimal) risks and are happy to proceed with a CMV+ donor?  I'm sure I covered this ground with someone at CRM...as I am also CMV neg. 

As for the donor sperm situation at LWC, I'm sure both HFEA and the clinic will pull respective fingers out and move swiftly to resolve any outstanding issues - particularly given the media interest in such things.      

Have a great time out in HK - very envious!  

A-Mx


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## Betty-Boo

Suity I'm also CMV neg - I know my clinic in Plymouth were quite hot on CMV status which limited my choice of donors drastically.  I know repro don't take this into account.  It can cause some problems if you're negative and come into contact with the virus whilst pregnant - so they are only being cautious and maximising our chances of pregnancy.  
I hope you find a donor soon.  Saying that my cousin's got jet black hair and her husband is brown - both her children are red heads (her father's a red head).
Take care mini x


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## RichmondLass

Candee - guess what! My GP won't either.  But have you asked your clinic to post them out to you?  South Africa is going to be miles cheaper than UK I'm sure.  I picked some of mine up at the  Barcelona clinic and I can get a further prescription next time I go which I'll get fulfilled out there as it'll be cheaper than here.

I think a friend of mine said she paid £300 for all her meds in Spain so hat sounds half what you'll pay in the UK.

Meanwhile - what is the issue with LWC and sperm?  I've seen the post and it seems to imply that there was a dodgy donor

Also slightly worrying stories in the news over the weekend about mishaps at IVF clinics - can't exactly check  ask to see it to check it's yours can you!


RL


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## Damelottie




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## loeytom85

HI, i was just wandering does anyone now anything about egg sharing when my father has diabetes type 1 and my uncle does by im fine. Cant really find much out on the net. 
ANy info much appreciated


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## Candee

Hi Suity
I am so pleased that all has gone well with your nephew - that must have been so frightening for all of you.
I hope the donor situation can be sorted hun - with this crazy ivf its always another hurdle to get over isn't it...
Keeping my fingers crossed for you hun!
Candee
x


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## indekiwi

Hi Loeytom, I don't know the answer to your question but suggest the best way of finding out straight off is by calling one of the clinics that offers egg sharing and asking them.  Try CRM or LWC, both of which offer this service.  Good luck!  

A-Mx


----------



## Sima

Hi All

Sorry I've been awol from this thread for the last few days but I have been trying to figure out what to do next - and it is very confusing. I have now decided that I have at least one more tx in me so I think I will go for it. I just need to decide whether to use my own eggs or donor eggs. Both has it pros and cons. I still need to have my follow up consultation with Cornell so maybe the cons there will be able to give me more guidance. The difficulty is I don't produce many eggs but I still do produce eggs and I know it only takes one. If I do decide to have one more go with my own eggs then I think I would need to have another op to remove my fibroids (and not just a hysteroscopy this time). I think it might end up being another myo. I do not have any fibroids in my uterus at the moment but my little broids are obviously impacting on each tx as the doctors have difficulty seeing my ovaries and therefore determining how many follies I am producing. If I do have another myo then I would need a few weeks recovery time so I realistically do not think I would be able to have another cycle of IVF until the end of the year and I turn 40 in Dec. My GP has written me a referral to St Barts but I might see if I can get things done quicker by using my private health insurance.

If I decide to go for donor eggs then I do not think I would need to through another operation to remove my fibroids. I think I should still have them checked out to ensure they will not affect the pregnancy since I know they grow with pregnancy. The chances of success would obviously be greater with donor eggs and hopefully if my donor produces more than 4 eggs for me then there might be the possibility of frosties.

I think I am in a difficult position. I do not produce enough eggs to have PGD and other testing done on them but because I do produce eggs I am not sure if a doc will tell me to give up on them yet - other than obviously telling me that my chances would increase significantly if I did use ED. I will continue to think about the best way forward for me. I am also wondering if I should have some basic immune testing done . I have spoken to my parents about using ED and once again they are being very supportive - bless them. I think they would like me to use my sister's eggs but I have tried to tell them this will probably not be the way forward. She is 36, never has had children and she refuses to go for fertility testing to see if she if she can even have kids. I have been reading the CRM thread on the Donor sperm/egg page with interest so I might have a chat with them to see if they can help me. Failing that I might have to either look to advertise for a donor or go abroad.

I am also in the process of looking for a new job. I had an interview for a position earlier this week so fingers crossed for that one. I do need to get a job but my big fear is that I will find a job and then find I would need to take time out for surgery on my fibroids. Why can't life be easy  but I guess I will worry about that if it comes to that.

*Candee *- I am glad you are moving forward with your trip to SA. Good news about the sperm situation  bad news about the GP and the medication  . You still have time so you could see if you could get the SA clinic to post you out the drugs. It might work out much cheaper than getting them in the UK.

*Inde *- great news about getting on to the CRM waiting list. I hope it does not take too long before you are matched.

*Suity *- I hope you are having a good time in HK. Good to see that LWC have now sorted out their sperm situation. I guess you can now focus on your cycle in August. Will you still go onto the CRM list as back up? Hopefully you will not need it. 

*Esperanza* - I am sorry you are having a difficult time deciding which way to turn next. You will see from my post that I am just as confused since there are many different paths I could take. Hopefully you will find your way through it. The trouble is we have all had different experiences which has brought us to this stage. What we do have in common is we are all single, strong and we have had to pick ourselves up to get through this maze. Everyone is happy to share their own experiences and we are here to support each other. Good luck.

Phew long post. Have a good day.

Sima


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Sima there is so much to think about, I would get the fibroids sorted you shouldn't be waiting more than 18 weeks from your GP referring you to Barts.

L x


----------



## Betty-Boo

Sima this is so darn hard isn't it - I know I keep thinking about having a go with my own - yes they failed me in Jan - but my cycle was all over the place too which didn't help.... part of me says - why not - the other part say... NOOOOOOOOO don't do it!  I went to a dark place after the failure in Jan - am out of it now and so so positive - but I do still keep thinking - should I  Or stick with the donor??  I could have another sneaky go as my DEICSI is booked in for Jan next year... but with an amh of 0.0 I'm not sure its worth it.
Take care honey - I know counselling helped me - I didn't see a specialist fert counsellor though - but have to say she was brilliant!
    and     for coming to the right decision for you x x


----------



## Sima

JJ - thanks for the pm.  I am trying to reply to you but your in box is full.

Mini - it is such a difficult one but I do feel I think I have a little bit of time to make my decision.  I will get my fibroids sorted out one way or the other.  I will have my tel consult with Cornell.  I didn't have the energy to speak to them before now so hence the delay.  I did try counselling earlier this year.  I arranged it via my GP because I dealing with failed IVF, sick dad and redundancy issues. Unfortunately, the counsellor I was allocated was hopeless.  She did not listen to me and kept asking random questions and going off on a tangent so I stopped after 2 sessions with her.  I am sure there are better ones out there but in the meantime I am using my friends as cheap counsellors.  May be I should ask for a fertility counselor.  Apparently there is one in the practice.  I just need to decide whether to have one more shot with OE or move straight to DE.  The whole epigentics debate has helped me loads though.  

Anyway you sound so calm and relaxed.


----------



## Betty-Boo

Honey you will do whats right so you - and yes you're right - our friends so help us in these situations - I'd be lost without them and this board.
Take care x x  x


----------



## Candee

Hi Sima, Mini and everyone,
Interesting reading for me. I am in a slightly different position, as I have never even had a go with my own eggs. My consultant in UK was unwilling to do IVF because of my AMH and then I had a consultation at Reprofit in Brno, where they would have done IVF, but said it was very unlikely to work, and so I really had no choice but to go for donor eggs. However I have read a bit about epigenetics and the more I read the better I feel. Drowned girl on the Donor egg thread has posted some really interesting stuff, including this from a fertility doctor -

"I have been involved in neuroendocrine research (what I call the hormone-brain connection) over the last 15 years. It is through that knowledge and experience that I can reassure you that by carrying this  donor egg pregnancy and delivering this baby you've exerted tremendous biological influence upon this child. Some scientists would argue that you'll have greater impact than the egg donor or your husband. Specifically, we understand today our DNA is a very basic blueprint. What this child has been exposed to through your biological interaction over 39 weeks will influence her/his personality, intellectual ability, personal preferences and lifelong health. So celebrate your ability to carry this baby and rest assured that your role in getting this child off to a healthy start has been critical."

and this was also posted, I can't remember who by, but I copied off the site-

"Perhaps the greatest myth surrounds pregnancy. Many believe the uterus is simply an incubator. Nothing could be further from the truth. The most important aspect of all pregnancies- including egg donation pregnancies- is that as the fetus grows, every cell in the developing body is built out of the pregnant mother’s body. Tissue from her uterine lining will contribute to the formation of the placenta, which will link her and her child. The fetus will use her body’s protein, then she will replace it. The fetus uses her sugars, calcium, nitrates, and fluids, and she will replace them. So, if you think of your dream child as your dream house, the genes provide merely a basic blueprint, the biological mother takes care of all the materials and construction, from the foundation right on up to the light fixtures. So, although her husband’s aunt Sara or the donor’s grandfather may have genetically programmed the shape of the new baby’s earlobe, the earlobe itself is the pregnant woman’s “flesh and blood.” That means the earlobe, along with the baby herself, grew from the recipient’s body. That is why she is the child’s biological mother. That is why this child is her biological child.” Taken from a booklet published by Freedom Pharmacy.

Both of which snippets really helped me. Also Brownowl, who has donor twin boys, and posts over on the SA thread, has one boy with asthma, which she has, but which neither her DH or the donor has. Brownowl is in donor egg chat every Wednesday and she has really helped me to sort through my thoughts - much more than counselling did.

In addition I am focusing on the fact that at 41 any pregnancy with my own eggs would have left the baby with a higher risk of problems e.g. I think it is 1:1000 for downs, whereas with the egg of a 25 year old, I think the risk is 1: 40,000. So in many ways if I can become pregnant with a donor egg, my baby has a better chance of being ok. That is certainly something to think about if you end up needing donor eggs. 

I think what I am trying to say is that, if you have to give up on your own eggs, it is not all negative - if you can get over the loss of the genetic connection, there will still be a biological connection, because you will have built the baby bit by bit, and you may have less worries in a pregnancy, because the egg will be younger. 

Anyway, these decisions are so personal and so hard to make, just thought I would add a little bit to the discussion. Tons of love and hugs to everyone dealing with these issues      
Candee
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Candee best of luck with your cycle in SA.

RL some drugs in Spain are more expensive, in fact I was going to buy synarel there and it was much more expensive than UK. Ali in Shadwell and Tamworth are both v fair and decent pharmacists who are great to deal with


Sima I have cleared some capacity in the inbox- sorry I am not good at IT huosekeeping
L x


----------



## Felix42

Hello I just thought I'd share with you something that a friend of mine said. I was saying to him that my baby/ies will be half Czech and half Danish and he said no that's not right, they will be a third Czech, a third Danish and a third Yorkshire! I love that idea and it is so true! We're giving them all the nurturing from the womb onwards and with epigenetics too they really will be at least a third our true babies. 


Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## madmisti

Hi Ladies 

Can I join you! Only just  discovered this thread as I am very bad at checking for new threads - tend to just stick to 'new replies to your posts' which only shows threads I have already posted on!

I have already had 2 double donor treatments -donor embies - both BFN's. Now gearing up for DE IVF in September at Reprofit.

The epigenetics stuff has helped me tremendously too, and I see lots of positives in using donor eggs so not  a huge issue for me to get my head around. Of course I am sad that if I have a child, it won't be genetically related to me, but I have done my grieving for that I think ( I guess it might arise again if i have a child)

Lol
M x


----------



## Candee

Hey to all the 'single-doublies'   
Well, I fly out to South Africa this weekend! I can't believe how quickly it has come round. I am 50% completely excited and 50% absolutely terrified that it won't work!
Its been a bit strange, the last couple of weeks, because there hasn't been anything  left to sort out. Up to now I have had a constant flurry of emails from and to the clinic, donor agency and sperm bank, with decisions to make, forms to fill in etc., but now there is nothing to do but wait and hope! 
I have already done my packing - tbh I packed two weeks ago! 
It feels like the calm before the storm!
Anyway, hope all is well with everyone else!
Take care
Candee
x


----------



## madmisti

Best if luck Candee     Have a safe trip and come back with precious embies on board! How long is the flight? And how long are you staying out there?  Hope the next couple of days go fast  

Take care
Misti x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Wishing you loads of luck in South Africa Candee, hope you have a wonderful trip and bring back just what you've always wanted  

Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Candee, so wanting this to go right for you and hoping you will be the first to shout   on this thread!  Have a terrific time in SA.

 

A-Mx


----------



## RichmondLass

Candee! You were one of the first people to message me on this forum so I have a special interest in you!  Best of luck in SA - it's a fabulous place so do try and enjoy a bit of it if you can force yourself while you're out there!

I will be thinking of you while you're away

RLx


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Good luck Candee


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## lulumead

sending lots of good luck candee...hope all goes well.
xx


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## ♥JJ1♥

Candee good luck for SA!!

I went for a scan today at crm and my lining was supposedly 5.5mm (my best so far for a long time) and one antrical follie on the left, today is cd 12 so another scan on Fri pm and then a medicated cycle to see if I can go on their waiting list!

L x


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## indekiwi

JJ1, that's brilliant news re your lining - look at you!!    Got my fingers crossed for you.    

A-Mx


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## madmisti

Fantastic news JJ1 - lots of   and   that trial cycle goes well 

lol
M xx


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## Damelottie

JJ1 - sounds fab! How long is their waiting list?


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## RichmondLass

JJ - fab news!  good on the lining  it must have been that cake on the South Bank that did it!  Does that mean you are going to have treatment elsewhere while you go on their waiting list??

RLx


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## RichmondLass

will anyone be watching World's Oldest Mums on Channel 4 at nine tonight?


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## suitcase of dreams

Great news re your lining JJ. Hope things work out and you can get on CRM's waiting list soon....

RL - not sure, but there's not much else on TV tonight so I might take a look and if it annoys me, I'll turn over again - you can never tell whether it's going to be a sympathetic view or a sensationalist one....

Suitcase
x


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## RichmondLass

just seen the documaker on Breakfast and she sounds quite sympathetic.  She said she doesn't understand why people are horrified by it and tries to unpick the reasons.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

well I'll def give it a go then...need something to watch whilst painting my nails for tomorrow's wedding (not mine obviously    - brother in law's younger sister is getting married)

Suitcase
x


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## Candee

Hi to everyone and thank you for all your good wishes  
I owe so much to Fertility Friends. I have had so much advice and help.
It means an awful lot to me, to have somewhere you can get support from people
who really understand what you are going through. I certainly could not have
got this far without FF. At the end of January I was just told that the dream of a baby
was over. Full stop. No hope given. No alternatives explained. Without FF I would simply be
sat here heartbroken. Whatever happens in South Africa, I still feel thankful that I at 
least have been given the chance to *try  * for a baby. So I now I am off to take that chance! 
We go down south tonight, staying with friends and then flying out from Heathrow on Saturday. We are
staying in a cheapish B&B, so I will probably need to find an internet chatroom in Cape Town
to stay in touch with everyone, if not I will post when I get back in mid-August.
Take care everyone 
Candee
x


----------



## wizard

Candee I hope it goes fantastically well for you in SA and that RL has set a precedent for a string of DE successes.  Lots of luck   

JJ brilliant news, you deserve some after all that you've been through. 

Wizard x


----------



## Sima

Candee - I am currently at the other end of the continent in Kenya but I wish you all the very best in South Africa.  I will try to log on from an internet cafe myself to follow your journey.  All the best.


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## indekiwi

Sima, hope you're having a brilliant time on hols!    

A-Mx


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## Sima

Ohh I am thanks.  The weather is nice and hot and there is not much to do here other than eat, sleep and veg out.  I think I might get a bit bored by the end of it but it is definitely a nice change.    There's such a lot to catch up on here.  I am just praying for lots more good news for when I next log on.


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Candee  for your SA trip

Sima enjoy chilling out make the most of it while we are wet and windy
L x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Well, I've been on the pill over a month now, called clinic yesterday to see what was happening. The donor co-ordinator is never there to answer calls so it's a constant back and to with voice mail messages. She's just left me one this morning saying the donor I was going to use is pregnant after a home insemination and therefore will not be going ahead with this egg share cycle

WHY did she not know this sooner? Surely she should have been keeping track? Donor was supposed to be starting stimms in 2 weeks so surely clinic should have been talking to her regularly? 
If I had not called yesterday to check, I wonder when they would have bothered to find out and let me know? 

I am rapidly losing confidence in the clinic - and what makes it worse is that I've already paid over £6000 for this treatment so they are quite happy to take my money and then not even follow up properly on my tx

The person I need to speak to has gone into theatre now so can't talk to her until after 2pm....I know these things happen with donors and of course it's great the girl got pregnant BUT what makes me really mad is the lack of proper follow up and the fact that it seems I have to call and check everything all the time - at a cost of £6000+ the least they could do is keep properly on track of things 

Sorry girls, just had to rant a bit there, can't believe the inefficiency and disorganisation which goes on even when we are paying huge sums of money for a service,
Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Suitcase,

I'm so sorry to read about this fiasco!       Where is the professionalism here?!!!  This is completely outrageous - and to get this news by voicemail is truly  .  Do they have another donor you can consider in the same time frame?  What about a letter to the clinic's director about the service you've (not) been provided?  As you say, great that the would be donor is preggers and these things do happen, BUT the egg sharing programme sounds like a complete shambles when you can't ever have a real time conversation with the co-ordinator and you have to continue chasing up.  Pathetic.  So     for you.

A-Mx


----------



## Damelottie

Sounds rubbish!
Is it LWC? Somebody on a board that I mod recently wrote and complained to clinic director. Since then, her service has been great!
Its bad to have to but they are notorious awful communicators so might be worth it xxxxxxxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Inde - she said something in her message about having another potential donor and that she'd call me back after 2pm to discuss. So just got to wait and see

LL - I was deliberately not naming the clinic in case the mods felt obliged to delete it - although I've not said anything which isn't the truth and presumably it's not slander if it's true. But yes, it's the same clinic where I had my previous UK tx... I kind of felt there was no point writing to complain about anything as doubted it will make any sort of difference - but sounds like perhaps I should put something in writing. When I speak to the donor co-ordinator later I will certainly be asking why I wasn't informed sooner and why I have to keep chasing them instead of the other way round

Am worried that the donor she has to offer me will not fit my criteria but that I will feel compelled to take her regardless as otherwise could be a very long wait. Funnily enough we discussed the likelihood of a donor pulling out etc and she said that although it happens, it's extremely rare. Just my luck to get the extremely rare situation

None of this is helped by the fact that I have been off work sick all week with some nasty chest infection/virus thing. Mon and yesterday I could barely get out of bed. Am feeling better today although still not at all 100% - finding it hard to breathe and still very tired. And of course everything always feels worse when you are ill  

Well, let's see what they have to offer me when she calls this afternoon (although what's the betting that I end up having to call her?!)

Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Suity, keeping everything firmly crossed that the donor they suggest (if she exists....) is much more perfect for you in terms of match than the last one and is good to go.      

A-Mx


----------



## Felix42

Suity, just wanted to send you a big  for not feeling well and having all this nonsense on top. I hope they manage to sort you out another suitable donor this afternoon. It does sound worth checking out the other clinic in the meantime though to check what alternatives you have and complaining to the Director!

 and  for better news and health soon. 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks Felix
Still on waiting list at CRM too, but Inde is ahead of me on that list and with very similar matching criteria and she hasn't heard anything yet, so not holding out too much hope for any news from them for another couple of months

The clinic that shall not be named called back just now and offered me a match which I have turned down on the basis that it does not fit any of my criteria at all.....she is checking now what other alternatives are available and will get back to me this pm. Whilst I am prepared to compromise on some of my criteria, I am not prepared to compromise to the extent that the donor shares no characteristics at all with me. I know we're all different in terms of how we feel about that, and yes, a healthy baby is the main aim of course, but for me it's also important to have at least some similarities in colouring....

So let's see what the news is like later. Have managed to shower (first time since Sunday as have been feeling so ill) and am hoping to venture out for a short walk later to see if I can start feeling physically stronger at least. 

Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Ahem - Suity - they didn't exactly offer you a match did they?!     .

I am 10 weeks into the wait and was told 3 - 6 months....figured I'd call them on the 3 month anniversary which is 12th Aug...

Thinking of you, and hoping that you feel much better very soon so that you can boot some     - this really isn't good enough.

A-Mx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

No, not what I would call a match Inde....am awaiting a further call this afternoon having re-iterated the fact that I am 5ft 6" with red hair and blue eyes and a fair/pale complexion. Not expecting a perfect match - but getting even one element would be good!

Off to GP to collect blood test results for the Hep B, HIV etc stuff now, so that's all sorted out. I am basically ready to go and just waiting for them to get their act in gear. 

If I didn't feel so ill I'd be angrier I think, but as it is I'm using up my energy just staying out of bed  

Oh well, it's not as if I've had a smooth fertility journey thus far, no reason to expect it to be any easier moving forwards!

Suitcase
x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

I guess I'm more annoyed with the clinic than the donor Rose. I guess I can see that if I was in her shoes, I'd be doing everything I could to get pg even if that meant lining up ED cycle as well as home insems. What makes me mad is that the clinic were not in proper contact with her and confirming dates etc. It feels to me like they only take action when you ring to prompt them. Who knows how long I would have just been on the pill waiting before they bothered to chase it up?

Anyway, she has called back again with an alternative donor who is much closer to my characteristics/criteria. Not a proven donor but think that is something I simply can't expect in the UK. If I can go in on Monday for some sort of shot (wasn't too clear what this was?) and to pick up drugs then we can start straight away with ET either w/c 31st Aug or w/c 7th Sept. Am going to sleep on it and then call the clinic tomorrow to say yes or no. Kind of seems like I might as well really....I mean I went through this whole is it the right donor or not last time and ended up concluding that no donor is going to be perfect (this one is a little older and a little taller/heavier than I would like) and that what matters is having a healthy baby. So not sure why I am delaying really, but just feel like I've had a lot to process in a few hours this morning and would be a good idea to just give myself a little bit of time to get my head round it

They do seem to want you to go in for more scans in the UK. I'm sure with overseas ED you just have the one lining scan, and sometimes not even that. They want me to have a baseline scan and then 2 further scans to check lining...which means in total with the trip on Monday 4xreturn trips to London, which is costly, time consuming and awkward with work. I had, perhaps naively, imagined far less trips with ED but seems I was wrong on that  

But then again, a few trips to London is a small price to pay if it works...

Oh the whole thing does my head in to be honest. I was so enjoying not having to think about it, and now it's all top of mind again - so stressful....

Suitcase
x


----------



## lulumead

oh suity...so sorry you are having such a time of it. Clinic have been rubbish.  Maybe there is a reason for all this to happen and this is the baby you are meant to have, but I'm sure at the moment you are fed up with it all.  You certainly seem to have a difficult ride and are amazing for keeping going. Hope you feel better and so so hope that this time it works for you.

xxx


----------



## Felix42

What a complete pain Suity.  I think its a very good idea to sleep on it. Its a big decision and you're not well so don't rush yourself. 

I hope you can find the right decision for you. Like you say there's no such thing as a perfect donor but you do need to feel comfortable with your decision.  

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Suity    isn't this journey hard enough without all this  !!!

I would seriously consider complaining - HFEA would be a good place to start:

http://www.hfea.gov.uk/1489.html

It is just not good enough - you are a strong person and able to cope with most things thrown your way, what if you weren't so strong though?? 
All the best with your decision x x x

/links


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks everyone, feeling much better this afternoon. Helps that I feel physically a lot better too. 

Went to GP to pick up blood results and fortunately I don't have HIV, Hep B, C or chlamydia  
So one good thing achieved today

Pretty sure I will say yes to the donor tomorrow, after all the match is no worse and no better than the previous one so no reason to delay really....think it just freaked me out a bit having thought we were all set with one donor and then the late change. Also a bit thrown by them wanting me in next week already - somehow I'd kind of forgotten that I'd have to trek back and to for appts, scans etc...was quite enjoying not thinking about it. But not thinking about it won't make me a baby will it?!

Thanks for all your support though, it's great to know you're all out there. I've actually not told anyone about this upcoming cycle, not even my family. Just keep saying I'm on a waiting list (which is true). Not sure why but just feel this time like I don't want people knowing and asking how it's all going etc...so it's good to have you lot as otherwise I'd have no one. Seeing my counsellor tomorrow so that should help too...

Suitcase
x


----------



## Betty-Boo

suity        for your treatment honey.  Ref the scans - I only had 1 and that was day 14 of taking progynova.
All the best honey x x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

mini - I know, it seems that in the UK they are more insistent on scans whereas abroad they don't worry so much
I have never had any kind of problems with lining, cysts or anything else so I think they are being too cautious, but it's difficult to refuse....they get quite funny about it....


----------



## midnightaction

*suity* So sorry for all the troubles you have been through these past few days 

I was going to post something lengthy about how bad I think it is that the egg sharer/clinic did this to you but I choose not to because I felt as if you have now moved passed that and are happy with your new donor.

You potentially will be having ET the same week as me, so I am feeling positive for both of us that this will be our time and we will be bump budies along with all the other singlies cycling in Aug/Sept

Sarah x x


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Suity what a complete nightmare for you    The customer service really is dire.  Glad you are feeling better this afternoon, donor sounds like a reasonable match for you (in comparison to previous one) so hope it's all crystal clear in the morning    We could really do without these hassles!

Take care
Jovi x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Suity - so sorry to hear of the struggles with LWC, what a nightmare.  I agree their DE co-ordinator is poor I rang last week asking a question about lists, types of pts etc they sent me a standard email but said that the Nurse co-ordinator would ring me back but a week later no call!! 

I haven't joined the CRM waiting list need to be accpeted as such- did you pay to join? if you come off it is non refundable and I suppose with my c++p lining they don't even know if I would be acceptable.  At least have different characteristics so we aren't after the same donor!  RE scans- I had about 3-4 scans on my DE attempts but then I have the dodge lining!

They want me to do a monitored cycle with Prostap and the progynova and patches (I have been through this before) but sniffed to shut down whereas they prefer to inject!  Has anyone had prostap and if so when does you AF arrive, the nurse said take it 1 week before AF due my questions is does it shut the cycle down for a week or a month?  as I am away for a bit

L x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

thanks midnight, jovi and JJ for your good wishes

midnight - just can't be bothered to get angry with the clinic and their disorganisation - just means I get stressed out and what difference does it really make at the end of the day? even if I were to write and complain I don't think it would make a significant difference. I think perhaps the trouble is that the ED co-ordinator is also the head nurse, so as well as do all the ED stuff, she's also in theatre, managing a team etc. I feel like they need to get a dedicated co-ordinator (which is, as I understand it, what CRM do) but perhaps they feel they can't justify another staff member at this stage...
fingers crossed this is the one for us both   

JJ - yes, I paid £450 non refundable for the CRM list. If the LWC cycle works I won't care that I paid £450 to CRM   And if the LWC cycle doesn't work, then I will need the CRM one anyway so good to be on the list...
Can't help with the prostap question I'm afraid - not had that. Think that might be what they want to give me at LWC next week but wasn't really listening. Will have to ask for more details tomorrow when I call back

Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Suity, was just wondering if you held out for a further match, someone 5ft 6 with red hair and blue eyes would miraculously show up...how exactly was it that they were able to suggest a complete non match this morning and then this afternoon a second donor far more in line with the characteristics you requested and able to start pretty much straight away?  Oh - the cynic within is bouncing all over the show.... 

JJ1, Prostap - keeps you shut down for a number of weeks.  I had a second one in the end as it took my donor forever to respond to the stimms (effectively 3 weeks before EC) but I think this was around six weeks after the first.  I also paid up to be on the list - in once sense, didn't seem to be much choice unless I changed my priorities around using sibling sperm (can't take it outside of the country due to HFEA constraints, and the wait list is much shorter than for virtually any other clinic around the UK).  

Suity, re scans, I definitely had 3 (and maybe a 4th?) in the end before ET.  It was driving me potty as I would never know when I'd be called in and therefore I had to turn away work based overseas....   And I've never had problems with my lining either.)

A-Mx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Inde - yes, was also kind of wondering if I call tomorrow whether they'll miraculously have yet another donor....it does all seem rather chaotic! 
....and then I was just looking at some of the girls' latest baby pics on ** and wondering what exactly I was worrying about - it's a healthy baby I want, not a mini me  
So pretty sure I'll go with the one they've offered and kick things off next week. Hoping we can do the injection (whatever it is, probably that prostap thingie) on Tues not Mon as have to be in London for work on Tues anyway and will be really annoying to have to go two days running....fingers crossed!

Suitcase
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Suity if it is prostap not sure what LWC charge - CRM charge £200 a shot, but Ali in Shadwell (needs a day to get it in) and Tamworth have it for £85, Bliss £120

L x


----------



## indekiwi

I get so riled to see how the clinics fleece their clients in such an outrageous fashion!


----------



## suitcase of dreams

I have been told all drugs needed up to OTD are included in the total price I've already paid for the DE cycle ....I double checked this twice so I shall flat out refuse to pay any extra 

I suspect when I tell them I want clexane and steroids (which we have not yet discussed but as far as I am concerned, I shall be having at least 20mg clexane, might even just use up all the 40mg ones I've already got, and 25mg prednisolone - for my NK cells) they will make me pay extra for that, but I will not be paying for the shot next week, whatever pills they give me for lining thickening, or for gestone....

I try not to think too much about the profits they are making, it makes me too angry  

Suitcase
x


----------



## wizard

Suitcase lots of people have already posted about the behaviour of the clinic and since your first post about the donor pulling out you've now sorted it so no point in me harping on about that now, but I did want to say that it is all horribly stressful and starting again pulls you back into a world you'd rather not be in, save for the fact it will get you pregnant and result in a wonderful child for you.  I hope it goes much more smoothly from hereon, and that you recover from that terrible bug you seem to have.  Take care

Wizard x


----------



## Sima

Suity - I am sorry to see you are having such a hard time with your first DE cycle.  I hope everything gets sorted quickly so that you can soon be on your way.  It's such a shame.  When clinics say we will be better off with DE we somehow believe it is the answer to all of prayers only to find out that there are still hurdles to jump over.


----------



## RichmondLass

Have posted in bumps and babies but thought I'd post over here to show off the success (so far) of my donor eggs (and not forgetting the sperm).

Just the one - I've lost Consuela or Gonzales along the way - but a whole 5.1mm and shaped like a comet.  The Sister said how good it was!  No heartbeat yet and some confusions about how far along I am so might go back next week.

My fellow FF-er who had ET the same day - the same hour - as me at IM reports she's officially six weeks one day and yet I'm five weeks six days, so not sure what's going on there.

Anyway, was nice to see some evidence for all the effort.  

RLxx


----------



## indekiwi

RL, congrats!  Sounds like everything is tickety boo.  

My news is that I've just got news of a donor match from CRM.  She sounds perfect - early 30s and one previous pregnancy.  Male factor is the issue - and if his procedure doesn't work, they may not go ahead, so that is the only cloud on the horizon.  She is not a strong match in looks, but I want a baby at the end of the day, not a mini-me.  If everything proceeds, tx will start in Sept and likely ET will be Oct.  For today, I have decided to be on  .  

A-Mx


----------



## Damelottie

Great news RL and Indekiwi   

RL - I used the date thingy on the home page off FF to calculate my dates. It seems to have been spot on the hsopital/consultant were happy to go with it xxxx


----------



## Felix42

RL, brilliant news on the scan.  That must be such a huge relief!  for the next peak inside. 

Inde, that's great you've got your donor. I do hope all works out and you get to go ahead very soon. 

Suity, so great to hear that all is going ahead for you too.   

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Inde that is fantastic news you must be so excited
L x


----------



## lulumead

great news inde.x


----------



## RichmondLass

Inde - you deserve to be on cloud nine!  Great news!  Out of the blue, too.  Wow.  So happy for you - one step closer to baby number 2.

RLxxxx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Inde that's brilliant news  -  have everything crossed for you.... Think you summed it up there - my consultant did say to me that its being a mummy that's more important not looks etc... or the mini me as you put it.  Go girl x x x


----------



## indekiwi

Thanks everyone - a phone call is not much in some senses, but to me it means levelling out the playing field - at least I now have the required eggs and sperm to _begin_ tx with!  Off on hols today (a county or two down the road ) so am going to maintain my sunny disposition for at least the next week. 

A-Mx


----------



## wizard

Fantastic Inde, really pleased for you.  I hope you'll be cycling again very soon for number 2.

Wizard x


----------



## winky77

Yay !  Just found this thread.....definately a good idea.....for the moment I have parked my donor egg considerations in one of those dusty corners of my mind.....but BIG IF the next OEIVF doesn't work.....it will be decision time.  

Inde.....I am delighted you're good to go....and hopefully soon!  Suity.....sounds like you've had your ups and downs.....hope the clinic are getting it right now! 

lol
Winky


----------



## Lou-Ann

Inde, great news about your donor match. Hope that you get to go ahead soon  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## madmisti

Well, been away for a few days so trying to catch up with everyone's news!

Suity- sorry you had such a nightmare hun - and were ill on top of it. Hope you are feeling better and that you are now happy with donor and get to go ahead very soon!

Rl - fantastic news on scan  

Inde - congratulations!! So exciting. Hope you have a nice holiday with poppet

Felix - excited to hear news of your scan  - not long now!

Here's hoping for a bumper crop of BFP's this autumn!!

Love to all
Misti x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

I have also paid my CRM deposit and gone ontheir waiting list as I don't want to waste time having additional tests and miss my potential donor! I paid my money and they said that the nurse (Kate or Paula) would call back today or tomorrow but no call today, I am sure that they will ring at work!!

L x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Good luck JJ - hope things go well with the lining test cycle and they find you a donor in the meantime!

I went to see LWC this morning and I'm all ready to go. Had my down regging shot, go in for scan on 18th Aug. Donor is scanned 19th and as long as all OK with her, she starts stimms then, so we're on track for EC late Aug, ET early Sept. Just got to hope she produces enough good eggies for us both....

I haven't told anyone about this cycle, even my mum and sisters. The only people who know are you lot, and my counsellor. Not sure why, think I just feel like I want there to be no pressure at all - and it's easier to not think about it if well meaning friends aren't asking how it's going. Everyone thinks I am waiting for a donor....

Met up with some old friends yesterday who I see maybe once a year, and was once again bowled over by how supportive they are though. Told them about the need for DE and they were totally cool with it, and just continued to offer their support and were so lovely with what they said about how great a mum I'd be. Had me in tears - but in a good way if you know what I mean.
So even though they don't know I've actually started a cycle, at least I know they are totally there for me if I ever do want to talk about it...I'm very lucky  

So, keep your fingers crossed that my donor does well - feels a bit odd relying on someone else instead of my own body....nice in a way as no injections etc, but difficult too, as no control at all over what happens with donor...

Anyway, enough rambling from me - that's the downside of not talking to friends/family about this cycle, I'm going to have to bore you with all the tiny details!

Incidentally my counsellor recommended I do write to LWC to highlight my concerns with the disorganisation around the DE list etc, and I think I will do. Not because I think it will make a difference to me this time, but because I wouldn't want other women to go through all the hassle I've had with having to chase them up, changes in donor etc...
So will try and craft a suitable letter over the next few days...

Suitcase
x


----------



## fluff1-2-3

Hi everyone, just thought I would drop by I normally hang out the Zlin board. Heading of to Cz republic at the end of the month for donor eggs, really excited now , had the details of my donors through yesterday so that made things very real. I will be travelling on my own so am a little apprehensive but am taking my laptop to keep in touch with everyone. I would love to hear from ...anybody that has been abroad for tx on their own ( or anybody else )
Good luck to you all
Fluff


----------



## Betty-Boo

JJ brilliant news gettign on the list...
Suity al systems go!!  Honestly hoey - you're in no way boring us with your news - that's what we're here for to listen when others appear not too.      
Fluff - I've had 1 DE cycle at reprofit  - although I did meet up with another FFer when I travelled over.  Travelled back on my own - but did have my trusty laptop to keep me company.       for you honey x x x


----------



## midnightaction

*suity* So glad that you have all of your official dates now 

I agree with you about telling me, as you know I never tell anyone when I am cycling. Everyone is so supportive but sometimes even the best of intentions from people just feels like that tiny bit of extra pressure.

From your dates we will almost certainly be on the 2ww at the same time as I am planning for ET on the 1st or 3rd of September 

*Fluff* I will be out in CZ at the end of the month as well, but I will be in Brno. Not sure which town your gonna be in, but if you are in or near to Brno then would be great to meet up 

Sarah xxx


----------



## madmisti

JJ1 - great you are on list - hope they get back to you soon

Suity - exciting to have dates!! YOu will be a couple of weeks ahead of me as my donor's EC is 14th September - hopefully we will be on 40ww togethter. there seem to be quite a few of us singlies having treatments of one kind or another in late August and September - so here's hoping for a bumper crop of babies next summer   


Fluff - welcome   I have been to Brno quite a few times on my own but don't know Zlin. How long did you have to wait for DE IVF there - and how much is it?  All the best for your cycle   

Mini - you are doing amazingly well with the weight loss! You are going to be a Mini Mini   I've lost 14lbs but seem to be stuck there  

Love to all
misti xx


----------



## RichmondLass

Suity
Good for you - if you want any help I've just banged off an extremely irate letter to TMobile after a good rant on the phone so I'm in the frame of mind!  

I know wht you mean about telling - I think if I go through this again I won't tell as many or at all possibly.  It's a bit like giving up smoking or going on a diet or selling your house.  it's the first thing people ask you every time you speak to them, which is nice that they're interested but there's nothing new to say every couple of days!  people keep asking how I am and I've got nothing of interest to tell them!


Anyway if you want to chat on the dog and bone sometime I'd be more than happy to have my ear bent!

RLxx


----------



## Elpida

Suity - great news, I'm so pleased for you  

E xx


----------



## fluff1-2-3

wow thank you all for the lovely good wishes!!
Mistimop, I had to wait about four months  I think which was perfect for me as I contacted them straight away after a m/c, so needed to take some time to recover, but got the boost from planning the next cycle. It cost me roughly 3000 pounds inc drugs but I think they have put their prices up since. Everybody that has been to the clinic gives really positive feed back and we have had some success stories on our thread recently. We are a small group so every success boosts us all. This is the clinic that IVF vacations uses.
Midnightaction, thanks for the offer I think Zlin is about an hour away but I understand the buses are good so will be very happy to trek over to BRNO, so if we are there the same time I will take you up on the offer of a coffee, will you be on line whilst you are out there?
all the best
Fluff


----------



## lulumead

great news Suity.

JJ - hope you don't have to wait too long.

hello Fluff  

...and I'd say hello to mini, but she is disappearing so fast I can't see her     well done...very impressive weight loss...I could do with some of that.  Roll on 2010 for you, be here before you know it.

xx


----------



## madmisti

Fluff - wow, that is much quicker than Reprofit ( currently a year!)  Price seems similar too -  was 3100 Euros but has gone up to 3900. What made you choose there rather than Reprofit?  Did you have any probs being single ( strictly speaking, they are not meant to treat single women in Czech Republic!)  If my DE IVf at Reprofit in September doesn't work, I will have to look in to your clinic!  How are you getting there? Sorry for all the questions!  I hope to get details of my donor soon  

Suity - definitely think you should write and complain - unbelievable how shoddy and disorganised they are  

Take care
Misti x


----------



## fluff1-2-3

Hi Misti, I chose this clinic for a number of reasons...Like every body I spent ages trawling through web pages....this clinic caught my eye but I was nervous because everybody seemed to be going to reprofit, and I did contact stephan before my last IVF in Dec last year. I looked at IVF vacations and saw that this was the clinic that they used but didn't want to go through them as I think it costs too much. Then whilst I was going through my FE cycle in March the girls at my local clinic told me about another patient that had been to Zlin With IVF vacation and had three blasts put back and was now expecting triplets, that was the final push. For me the decision about donor eggs was easy, they quoted my chances of success with my own eggs as about 5%, I have been on this journey for about five.....so hear I am years and am coming to the end of my emotional endurance so wanted to go with the best chances of success


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

JJ1 hope you've had your call today   hope you find a match soon  

Suity lots of    for you and your donor    

Fluff sending lots of luck your way, welcome to the singles board  

Mini you put me to shame - I've got to start shifting some weight again - went totally off the rails!  Well done hun, it's some acheivement  

take care girls,
Jovi x


----------



## Felix42

Suity, brilliant to hear that you're underway. Wishing you so much  !!
I don't blame you not telling anyone. It is nice to feel the pressures off, as even the most supportive concern from friends and family can feel like a bit of pressure on us at times. 
So hope that you can present them with a wonderful surprise. 

Fluff, welcome to our thread. Wishing you lots of  at Zlin. The CZ clinics have such a deservedly good reputation don't they and it is so nice to combine treatment with a break from it all. Look forward to getting to know you on here and on the Czech Bumps and Babies thread too soon I hope. 

Misti, that's so good to hear you'll be getting your donors details soon. A very exciting time. Lots of  for this treatment. May it bring you all you dream of.  

Well best off to bed now and try and get some sleep before tomorrow's scan!

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Good luck for tomorrow Felix  

And thanks everyone for your kind words and good wishes for my upcoming cycle....if only wishes were enough - I'd have a houseful of babies by now  
Let's hope donor eggs do the trick  

Late, must go to bed, will catch up properly with all your posts tomorrow

Suitcase
x


----------



## midnightaction

*fluff* I wouldn't mind coming over to Zlin either because I will be in Brno for 9 days so would be nice to get a little bit of change of scenery !! 

I will be there 26th Aug- 4th Sept if you are there at the same, and yes I will be taking my laptop so will be on-line the whole time 

Come over and join us on the "Abroadies" thread as well if you like http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=197474.0 

Sarah xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

welcome back Cem, hope you had a lovely holiday!

thanks all for the good wishes and for the comments on the donor sperm issue on my other thread. apologies for not being around very much at the moment but things are pretty hectic. My BIL had his heart surgery on Saturday. He's fine, all went out, came out of intensive care yesterday but still in a lot of pain. My sister has been at the hospital pretty much full time and it's very hard on her seeing him in so much pain. consultant says he should be feeling much better in next day or so, so that's good, but not out of hospital until next weekend most likely
kids are being very good but it's tough on them too, especially the younger two who at 3 and 1 don't really understand what is going on or why mummy keeps going away....eldest at nearly 5 is being very good about it and is very excited about going to see daddy in hospital tomorrow - she and her brother have appts at Gt Ormond St tomorrow (just for some speech therapy) so we're going to head over to the other hospital to see BIL afterwards

I'm exhausted as the bulk of the childcare falls to me. My mum is here too but she's not got the energy for 3 lively kids full time!
BIL's sister and brother are over later today to take over as I have to go back home to take sign lang exam - pretty stressed about it as had no time to practise. Will have to hope I can struggle through one way or another...will have a bit of time to practise this pm before the exam at 5.30, and then back up here afterwards....ready for Gt Ormond St tomorrow - it's all go...goodness knows when I will get any work done, supposed to be working from home but pretty tough to find any time for it

Anyway, will try to pop in and out, hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the sunny weather at the moment....

Suitcase
x


----------



## Felix42

Suity great to hear your BIL is out of intensive care.  Goodness you must be exhausted what with babysitting so much, trying to revise for your exam and trying to work! If anyone can cope with all that tho, you can! Try and get some downtime for yourself though. 

Love & hugs Felix xx


----------



## madmisti

Wow Suity    Sounds like hard work. Hope you get enough practise time that you go in feeling more confident -and of course good luck  !! Looking after your sisters three is good prep for when you have your triplets    Glad to hear all went well with b-i-l's op - hope he feels much better soon  

Claire - glad you had a lovely holiday    

I have got donor details - thank you for asking  . Her EC is 5 weeks today so it is definitely starting to feel more real!


Love to all
Misti x


----------



## Felix42

Misti that's great news re getting donor details. Wishing you well with this treatment and a lovely bouncing baby at the end. 

Suity hope the exam went ok & your BIL is continuing to improve. 

Love & hugs Felix xx


----------



## madmisti

Thanks Felix    Got details of new sperm donor today too and am very happy. Getting excited now!!

Suity - hope exam went well - when do you hear - or do they tell you straight away?

Lol
Misti xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Misti - good news re new sperm donor, glad you got one you are happy with

re exam - no, won't find out for up to 8 weeks - they video you and then the official examiner (the one who does the exam is just the class teacher) reviews the tape and assesses you. Am just glad it's over
Today has been partic hard as my niece and nephew were both grumpy and over tired, and my niece in particular was upset at not being able to go and see her dad in hospital (he's not up to lively small visitors just yet although he is making good progress)
Have had to have a couple of glasses of wine tonight to get over it all!!

brain is mush so no more now, hello to all though,
Suitcase
x


----------



## madmisti

Suity - so now you are on an 8ww!!  Well done for getting this far witht he BSL - shows real dedication when you have so much else going on.  Your sister and her family are very lucky to have you for a sister /auntie    Dealing with grumpy kids is all good practise  - though I put on my order form that I want a child that is a perfect angel who sleeps through from the start, has no toddler tantrums and is a lovely teenager-  otherwise they go back and I get a refund  !!

lol
Misti xx


----------



## Candee

Hey everyone!
I got back from South Africa yesterday and am slowly working through all the posts!
Well it is good news from me! I had my blood test on Friday morning and it was a  
I can hardly believe it and it is such early days that I am terrified! But so happy and South Africa
was gorgeous!

Cheers
Candee
x


----------



## madmisti

Wow Candee -that is fantastic news - congratulations    Are you going to have a scan soon?  Wishing you a very happy and healthy pregnancy     Bonus that you had a lovely time in SA too  

Lol
M x


----------



## Candee

Hey hun!
Thanks for that!
I can hardly believe it is true.
They were fantastic at the clinic.
I am going to arrange another blood test for this week, so make sure that the level is going up.
Cheers
Candee
x


----------



## madmisti

Good luck for that hun -loving the ticker    Look after yourself and your precious cargo! There are quite a few of us single ladies having treatments in the rest of August and September, so hoping you are the first in a run of BFP's for us   

Take care pregnant lady  

Misti xx


----------



## indekiwi

Congratulations Candee!!!!!!!! Brilliant news, and wishing you a smooth and healthy pregnancy! 
                        

A-Mx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Candee that's absolutely brilliant news!!!!!  so so happy for you honey x x


----------



## Candee

Hey girls, thanks for the good wishes! It means so much!
Candee
x


----------



## Papillon

Congrats Candee - that's great news.    Sending you the very best wishes and luck for your pregnancy. 

Big Big Hugs,

Papillon


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Congratulations Candee - lovely news. Hope all continues to go well for you,

Suitcase
x


----------



## lulumead

brilliant news candee...congratulations.    

xxx


----------



## midnightaction

Massive congrats Candee, I bet your on cloud 9  

Sarah xx


----------



## Felix42

Huge congratulations Candee. Take it easy hun and enjoy. 

Suity, hope you've had a better day today and your BIL is recovering well. 
Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks Felix - BIL is doing well, came out of hospital yesterday but is recuperating further at his parents place rather than at home as impossible to take it easy with 3 little ones. His parents only live 5 mins drive away, so not too much of a problem. He's making good progress but it will take time - he can't lift anything heavier than a kettle for at least 3 months so you can imagine how debilitating that is!

I'm back home now, and finding it quite strange after a week filled with children, to be on my own in my little flat. I miss them  
And as hard as it was, it just made me want my own family even more having spent a whole week pretty much with the kids 24/7 - hope it's my turn soon  

How are you doing? 8 weeks already - how exciting! Hope all is going well and you're not feeling too sick or tired...

Love to all,
Suitcase
x


----------



## Felix42

Good to hear he's out and doing well. Goodness it must feel ever so quiet on your own now. What training though for your soon to be BFP! Not long now.  

I'm doing ok thanks. Was really feeling sick yesterday am and then had a migraine in pm so got to be proper sick.  Much better today thank goodness. No sickness, just slightly worrying twinges lower lefthand front side. Hopefully just growing pains 

Enjoy a restful evening!

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Congratulations Candee     

Suity glad BIL is on the mend, hope he has a swift recovery.  Been a hectic week for you!  Hope you enjoyed the sunshine.

Hello everyone else!  
Lots of luck to all,
Jovi x


----------



## wizard

Candee brilliant news!  So pleased for you. 

Wizard x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Candee, that's fantastic news - congratulations!! Wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy 

Suity, sounds like you have had a very hectic week with your nieces and nephew. Glad that your BIL is doing well. Enjoy the quiet now because soon enough it will be your turn and it will be 24/7 for the rest of your life 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## starbuck

Congrats Candee - what wonderful news.  Have a great pregnancy.

Starbuck


----------



## Candee

Thanks everyone for the good wishes!  
I had a blood test yesterday and get the result tomorrow!
Praying that it will have doubled from last Friday!  
Candee
x


----------



## RichmondLass

Candee - I've PM'd you but massive congratulations!!  

hey everyone - where do we get tickers from

Sorry been away for weekend and was toooo tirrrreeedd last night to catch up.  Suity sounds like you've had a hard week but enjoyable and lovely too in its way.  

Misti - congrats on donor and hope everyone else is well!

I've borrowed lots of clothes from my mate now as so fat (not baby bump but fat I assure you) can't get skirts zipped up.

Have decided have to sell house and move somewhere cheaper but even though house shopping is my favourite past time, have no energy for it at the moment.

Have to get it done while still on a salary though - argh!

RLxx
RLxx


----------



## indekiwi

Candee, hope the results are very comforting!  

RL, it's all go with you too!  Good luck with your house hunting.    Not sure where you get the tickers from but maybe there is a website or something mentioned under someone else's that you can refer back to?  

A little news from me - heard from the clinic today and am heading in next Monday for my planning meeting.    It looks like my donor and I will be cycling through September and into October.  It seems such a long time since my last cycle - March - so a relief to get going again.  Also, I suspect that the sibling sperm I have would need to be destroyed in March 2010 due to my sperm donor harking from the anonymity era, so with two straws left, and the time it takes to be matched with an egg donor, I guess I only have two more attempts to make a sibling for poppet.  Fingers crossed that only the one straw will be required.     With RL, Felix and Candee all thickening around the waist line, I'm hoping their success rubs off on me.   

A-Mx


----------



## midnightaction

*Indekiwi* Fab news on getting all of your dates sorted so you are ready to go with your next cycle. It is so exciting isn't it when you finally get the go ahead to get going 

 You only need the one vial as well

*Candee* Thought i had posted before but obviously hadn't 

Fantastic news on your BFP  

Sarah xx


----------



## RichmondLass

AM am sending you   as I type.  You can have a few of my pounds any time you like!

RLxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Inde - that's great news, so pleased you can get going - and hopefully you'll just need the one vial/cycle  
I had a call from Kate today but couldn't talk to her as I was in an all day workshop in London. Assume she is calling with a donor match - not sure how to handle this given that LWC cycle starts soon. 
Went to clinic for baseline this morning, all well - no cysts, thin lining etc. However, for reasons they can't explain, donor is now not going for her baseline until next Tues (was supposed to be tomorrow) so I'm delayed by at least a week. Very annoying...

Will call Kate tomorrow and think I'll be completely honest with her about where I'm at with LWC and see where we go from there...

Suitcase
x


----------



## Betty-Boo

Inde - that's fantastic news honey !!!  Yay!!!  All the best       big hugs mini x x 
All the best Suity - sounds like its all coming together - albeit a little slower than fisr thought x


----------



## indekiwi

Thanx everyone, I am almost allowing myself to feel a wee bit of excitement now...not that I mind cheering everyone else on from the side lines, but it's great to be actually at the stage of DOING something!  

Mini, I don't like wishing time away (too precious) but hope you have a very full and fun couple of months ahead of you before January swings around and you cycle again.      I've taken some inspiration from being around everyone at the Scotland meet and have started losing some weight to get nearer the appropriate BMI level prior to my transfer - I keep thinking of your comments about your D&G jeans and wondering if I'll ever come near a size 12 again (b***** unlikely!)

Suity, hope the timing falls into place.  I had this sort of issue in March - nobody's fault - the donor took a lot longer to grow her crop than anticipated and I ended up losing work because of it but that's the drawback of working for yourself I guess.  Typical that Kate has been on the phone!  I had a chat to her yesterday; she seems lovely and down to earth.  They are certainly organised at that clinic.  

A-Mx


----------



## Damelottie

Good luck Suity and Indekiwi


----------



## Candee

Thanks everyone for the lovely msgs
Inde and Suity, wishing you so much luck girls!     
    
Candee
x


----------



## madmisti

Candee - many congratulations    - have a happy healthy pregnancy  

Inde - that's FAB news!!!How exciting. Hoping you won't need that last vial    

Suity - hope all goes well with donor's baseline scan on Tuesday and you will be on your way    Glad B-i-L doing well

So Inde, Suity and I are all having DE tx in next few weeks - first Suity, then , then Inde - did I miss anyone?? Here's hoping for 100% success rate     

Lol
Misti xx


----------



## Sima

Candee - congratulations on the BFP. I am sure you are over the moon.  I wish you all the best.


----------



## Candee

Hey Sima
Thanks hun.
Just been to the nurse to have my blood taken for the next beta test.
She was awful.
She has really upset me.
Why do they think they can speak to people like that?
Candee
x


----------



## RichmondLass

Oh Candee - that's rotten - what did she do/say?  I'm dreading any negative reaction at any stage of this process - I've had nothing but genuine support from the medical profession (apart from not getting drugs prescribed) so far.

I hope I can think of it as water off a duck's back and call her a silly cow (in my head).

Well I'm assuming here it was something to do with your pregnancy but of course you might just mean she was horrid!

RLxx


----------



## Candee

Hey girls! Thanks for the support!  
Basically, when I first saw the Doctor on Monday she said "So when do  you see the specialist in South Africa again?"
I said, "well I won't be - its a bit far for the antenatal care!"
So she said "Oh I see, you just expect the NHS to pick it up then?"
I said nothing at that point.
Today I saw the nurse for another blood test and I was checking if I could see
the Mid-wife out of work hours, because I don't want to tell them at work, just yet and she said
"Why are you keeping it secret? Who have you told? Have you told your parents yet?"
Now I am not keeping it secret - its just its way to early to tell work.
Then next she said-
"Why did you go to South Africa for treatment? Why go so far away?
I mumbled something about it being much cheaper for treatment and she then said
"Well I worked in a fertility clinic for a while and straightforward IVF is not that 
expensive, so what did you have? Have you had donor eggs as well as donor 
sperm then?"
Now this woman was only supposed to take a sample of blood... I felt really uncomfortable.
In the end I just said "Why?" "What do you need to know that for?"
At which point she didn't answer me, she just sat there and smirked, I mean really, this
horrible, snide grin.
Then she said she needed to take my blood pressure.

I felt like a sideshow freak.

I would tell the Doctor, but she would probably think it was perfectly fine to make
me feel awful.

I feel really upset!  
Please be honest, do you think I am overreacting?

Candee
x


----------



## lulumead

You are right to feel upset Candee...outrageous treatment.    
You are not a sideshow freak and not overreacting, please don't feel like that....I can't believe people working in a caring profession can be so judgemental.  grrr on your behalf.
   try and put it out of your mind.. and concentrate on the fact that you are growing a lovely little baby inside you, and that is very exciting  
xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Candee that's disgusting!!! Who the hell are they to judge??  I'm so glad my GP is so understanding - he's just booked me in for my repeat hiv hep b/c bloods - bless him.  

     we're always here to rant at x x x


----------



## RichmondLass

no you're not over reacting - that's appalling.  Someone really ought to collect these terrible stories - we've had several on here - and present them to the Health Minister and ask for a response.  

Not me though as I'm too tired...

If anyone starts bombarding you with questions again say:  How many children have you got?  Where were you when they were conceived?  What position did you use?  When did you tell your family and work?  Is your husband still with you?  Oh what a surprise!

RLxx


----------



## Candee

Good idea Richmondlass!   That might have wiped the smirk off her face!
Thanks for all the support girls - I have calmed down now!
I live to fight another day!
Candee
x


----------



## indekiwi

Seconding Lou's advice here Candee - that's absolutely appalling behaviour from so called professionals.  Don't stand for it.  I'm astonished that both doctor and nurse had the gall to say such things.

A-Mx


----------



## madmisti

Candee - that is unbelievabe treatment    - definitely complain!  As for the dr saying that you now expect NHS to take over - what does every other pregnant woman do - however they have conceived?  Makes my blood boil!! Liked RL's idea  

Take care hun
Lol
M xx


----------



## RichmondLass

That kind of attitude defies belief - it's as if they take it as a personal affront that a woman has got off her **** and taken her life and future into her own hands.  What is the difference - from their persepctive - between going to a clinic abroad and one in the UK?  

And what if you weren't single?  I bet her bigotted attitude would be different then grrrrrr.

Would they feel the same about having a private op and then coming to the surgery to have your dressings changed?  Would she prefer you had no ante natal care at all.

This dreadful treatment of patients needs exposing.

RLxx


----------



## indekiwi

Had my planning meeting at the clinic today.    Tx is starting to feel more real.  It will all kick off post my trip to Toronto which is great and ET will not occur until mid October.  Everything seems to take so long!!   Hoping to have a bump for Xmas!   

A-Mx


----------



## RichmondLass

Inde!! So exciting!  I can hardly wait - roll on october!

RLxx


----------



## Felix42

Project Bump by Xmas sounds the way to go Inde! V pleased for you that it is all happening. 

Suity, hope you get an update about your donor tomorrow.  

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Great news Inde  
Jovi x


----------



## midnightaction

*Inde* Fab news that you have things a little more sorted...........let operation bump commence !! 

Sarah xx


----------



## Sima

Good stuff Inde.  Not long to go now.


----------



## Damelottie

Great news Indi xxxx


----------



## winky77

Flippin heck......I disappear on my mountain yogafest for a few days and there's so so much to catch up on!!!

Candee......excellent news.....I am so pleased for you!!!!

RL and Felix.....glad it's all going well! 

Suity and Inde......wow.....good to go near enough!  Inde....we might be on 2ww together! 

lol

..WInky


----------



## madmisti

Inde - fab news - you'll be about 4 weeks behind me so hopefully we'll be on 40 ww together  - along with Suity     Let's all have bump by Xmas    

Suity - hope all well on donor's scan tomorrow    I am actually glad that with Reprofit you don't get any news until near EC day as think I would just be stressing over the wait for the next bit of news otherwise!

Did my depot today - was a breeze - though site is a little achey now. But I finally feel 'on the way'  

Lol to everyone
Misti xx


----------



## winky77

oooo  Misti  getting close for you too!


----------



## RichmondLass

girls it's so exciting for you!  

RLxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Just a quick update from me - apologies for being a bit awol at the moment, super busy with work  after my quiet summer (typical that work heats up just when tx is starting....)

Donor had scan today and starts stimms on Friday - still no explanation why it was all a bit delayed. I didn't ask but I wonder if she is doing LP and hadn't down regged enough or something. Or maybe she is doing SP and her AF was late. I had assumed she would start stimms today, but no it is Friday so that puts us back another couple of days. I know I should be pleased we are finally going ahead but every time the dates change it makes things difficult with work....

So I start progynova and prednisolone today, in for a scan next Tues to check lining and then prob another scan the following week which seems like overkill to me but apparently it's 'what they do'....

Hope everyone else is well, so pleased you are also going ahead soon Inde,
Better go as at work and shouldn't really be on FF!
Suitcase
x


----------



## Candee

Hi everyone! What a busy thread this is becoming!
Inde - brilliant that you are all steam ahead for October  

Mistimop, well done on the depot shot and fingers and toes crossed all the way!   

Suity, also got everything crossed for you!   

      for RL, Felix and everyone!

Candee
P.S Welcome back Winky and hope your inner hippy had a lovely time at the yogafest!  
x


----------



## Felix42

Suity, great your donor is underway and you will be starting your meds. That's weird about so many scans isn't it? I wonder what they think is going to happen between them!  Oh well, all included in the package at least. Hope it doesn't make things too tricky for work. 

Love to all, Felix xx


----------



## madmisti

Suity -frustrating to have all the delays but hopefully everything will go smoothly from now on     Really   this is the one for you hun  

lol
m x


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Good luck Suity ..... hope all goes to plan      
Jovi x


----------



## indekiwi

Thanks for all your well wishes everyone - It feels so much better to know you're all out there and so supportive.    

Misti, I'm most impressed about the depot shot.  What a contortionist!    Not long for you now.     

Suity, I know exactly what you mean about work hotting up just as tx is on the horizon.    I have a few weeks to put things in order, but suddenly assignments are raining over my home office (otherwise known as my dining room table.  )  I only have two scans in front of me, with a third reserved in case I have problems with my lining (which would be a first for me, but let's not tempt fate  ).  

RL, Candee, Felix - so hopeful of joining you three!  

A-Mx


----------



## midnightaction

*suity* Glad that things have all gotten started for you and your donor is all ready to start stimms on Friday. I am sure you are getting so excited now as it starts to feel more real 

I never understand why the need for so many scans, I had 4 each cycle when I was going to the Lister and having to do a 4 hour round journey to London and back just for a 5 min scan felt like a complete waste of time.........Oh well at least you know your being closely monitored which is always a good thing

Sarah xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hmm, thought I'd resurrect this thread as we seem to have all dispersed over the other threads, and it's nice to have a DE place too....

Although am rather sad to see the latest post was wishing me well for my donor starting stimms. And we all know how that ended up  

I called CRM today and they have said they would try to find a donor for me in next few weeks, but nothing immediate to offer me. 

Then LWC called me a couple of hours later and offered me a donor who is ready to start the pill in next couple of weeks - so I guess we'd be looking at 1-2 months before any tx actually started but still at least she's more or less ready. She's young (27) and good enough physical match, but I'm very cautious of any donor who has not had IVF before (she has had some IUI and self insem before) given the previous failed cycle. Although of course anyone who has had IVF before is also not necessarily a good bet as clearly it hasn't worked first time! We have agreed that I can speak to a consultant about my concerns a week on Monday (am in Helsinki all next week...) and we'll go from there - until then the donor is being held as a provisional match...

Am torn between sticking with LWC because no need to import donor sperm and looks like a donor is actually available quite soon vs waiting for CRM to find me a donor because I've a bit lost faith with LWC after the failed cycle and CRM seem a bit more reliable

Oh, it's all so difficult isn't it? I really really wish I could get over my anonymity worries so I could have tx abroad - just seems so much more reliable (apart from Misti's experience of course...)

How are all our other DE folk? Inde - you must be starting very soon? Good Luck!
Suitcase
x


----------



## blueytoo

Suity - when I donated my eggs the first time I had only had 3 IUI's. Obviously I had been lucky to get my DS from my first IUI, but in reality that was a complete miracle. 

My first recipient got pregnant with twins and my other three recipients all got pregnant too as I donated four times in total via egg share. Yet here I am with no baby. Her FSH and LH must be low to be a donor so there is no reason to think there is anything wrong with her. Her failure to get pregnant herself doesn't necessarily mean there is anything wrong with her eggs, ditto anyone whom has had IVF before. Statistically a woman would need to have 6 IVF embryos transfers to even have the same odds as a fertile couple to get pregnant. 

If she's had IUI then they will know she will respond in some way. You can't hold up previous IVF's as an indication of definitely getting donor eggs anyway as response can vary completely from cycle to cycle. I've had everything from 18 eggs to 11 eggs on the same dose and ended up with anything from 6 to 1 embryos from my share. Also any woman whether infertile or fertile can have a cycle where all her eggs are completely abnormal as tested via PGD and then the next cycle she could get some normal eggs. None of my share of my eggs even fertilised in my first cycle and this appears to be a common fluke which happens to some women with no explanation.

I know it's hard but I think it is important to try and remember that the whole thing is a numbers game and a lottery. Misti isn't the only one to have had bad experiences with DE abroad, I've been a member here for years and years and have seen many other problems with cycles at Reprofit with plenty of ladies ending up with not having transfers or their donors not getting anywhere with stims.

If I were in your shoes, I would personally take the LWC donor, she's young and has had IUI before which means that she has experienced being injected with low dose stims and you say she is a good enough physical match.  

Good luck with making your decision

Claire xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Suity - you know your gutt feeling is pretty accurate..... I would go with what feels right with you honey. Claire's passed on some good advice there re donors and donating.

     
Wishing you all the luck honey.  i know personally I prob go with CRM - only because in the past when I've contacted LWC I found them to be totally unprofessional.  Half the time they never got back to me!!!

Take care mini x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks all, and especially Feisty for sharing your experiences

Am going to wait to chat with consultant before I make any decisions. I am encouraged by the youth of the donor...but it's only been a week since the previous cycle was cancelled and I guess it's all a bit raw still. 

As you say, it's good that I have some time to think things through...and it's true that this was very pro-active of LWC and they have really made an effort (the girl who called to cancel things on Fri also called me earlier in the week to follow up as well which was very good of her - I couldn't really talk much on the Fri because I was so sad and angry and disappointed about the cancellation...)
That said, it shouldn't take a cancelled cycle for a clinic to be responsive and proactive!

Ho hum, lots of thinking to do next week - which I am spending in 3 different locations in Finland giving presentations - ugh!

Suitcase
x


----------



## Candee

Hey Suity,
My consultant in Cape Town said for him the key issues is the age of the donor, so to get a 27 year old
donor is a good sign.
Whatever you choose to do, we are all supporting you hunny    

Hey to all the other single doublies! Inde, its you soon isn't it?
Candee
x


----------



## RichmondLass

Suity - I'm glad that you are at least being offered another opportunity so soon!  This is good.  And that you've got a choice of clinics.

As I think I've said before, I had the same qualms and concerns as you about anonymity but with advice from friends and having a counsellor to talk it through with who gave me a very valuable different perspective (as I was of course basing it on my personal thoughts and everyone's  different) plus meeting someone who had done it (and obviously thousands have) , I gradually changed my mind.  I still have concerns but I've gone and done it now and you know how happy I am about it!  

If you ever want to chat it through and I can give you a different perspective that was offered me, I'd be more than happy to have a chat on the phone or meet up if you think it would be useful.

On the clinic front, I think I've also said on here that I wasn't at all happy or comfortable with the quality of care I was getting at CRM so left (coupled with very long waiting lists at that point).  My experience of customer care and support in Spain has been so far removed from my experience in the UK that I wouldnt hesitate to recommend it to anyone - but that's just me. Not many redheads in Spain though!

On the whole I'd say go for this lady.  The clinic surely wouldn't offer you anybody they didn't think had a good chance of working.  Your reluctance may be based on your very bad previous let downs.  You just can't believe the right person/situation will come up for you, probably. 

RLxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks RL for the kind offer to chat....might give you a call next week....although I've kind of explored the anon thing with my counsellor a couple of times and I just don't seem to be able to get past it....

I think you're right that at the moment I just feel like it's never going to work for me, and after last week's big let down I just feel like I've lost all faith in LWC. Whereas before this cycle happened I would have leapt at a 27 yr old donor

Just got to try and get the faith back...so hard to pick yourself up each time after a set back  

But nice weekend coming up - my lovely niece's 5th birthday so shall enjoy cake and party games with the kids (she's getting a trampoline for her birthday - one of those big ones that go in the garden - I wonder if they let adults on them?!) and think about all this properly next week

Thanks again all for your wise words and continued support  
Suitcase
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

I am at CRM at the moment, joined the waiting list at the start of Aug (I think!!) I am in the midst of a mock cycle on patches and pills and today it was 5.6 mm ( but different scanning machines and operators does make a dif!) is and so far it is going well. but no donors on my horizon as yet he sis say that 6 months was the norm! They seem to be ok so far, I usually see Dr Peter and then after IVI most things are better!!

Suity it is hard deciding maybe LWC would treat you better after your last cycle it is hard to know but as you say enjoy your weekend and then back to the decision board!!


L x


----------



## Betty-Boo

JJ sounds like this mock cycle is really going well    
Here's to the next 6 months flying past x x


----------



## RichmondLass

JJ well done!  That lining's more than mine scanned at before ET.  Sounds like things are going well for you!  

RLxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Thanks I do think that they are generous with their measuring though if you know what i mean but as long as it is consistent.  RL what were your issues with CRM so I can be prepared?  He surprised me today by saying he wanted a blood test- i need to be psychologically prepared and my donor's partner always does them for me and we just take the blood there or to the lab, anyway he had agreed to Tues and my donor's partner doing it.

L x


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

JJ1 so glad to hear your mock cycle is going so well, lets hope you're matched with a donor soon  , take care hun

Enjoy your party Suity!  Good luck with decision making over the next week or so, hopefully chat with consultant will help you decide what is right for you

Jovi x


----------



## indekiwi

JJ1, woohoo - that's a terrific response given previous cycles - is it possible that with the time since your M/C your lining is gradually recovering?  I really hope so, it looks really encouraging.    

Suity, 27?!?!  I can't remember being 27 anymore  but would love that physical age to be starting out IVF with.  Glad to hear that you have what appears from your comments a close enough physical match not to cause any angst.    I'm afraid I've got quite mercenary about clinics - I didn't mind who came up with an egg donor, the old or new clinic - the first one that came up with someone who mostly looked the part would win with me.  Having said that, I'm pleased about how careful CRM are with the selection of donors, and it clearly has resulted in some strong success rates (at least on paper....)

Candee, I keep reading elsewhere you are due a scan tomorrow...all the best, hope your poppet waves to Mum and you have the most amazing experience!   

Well, I will be posting my news on this thread, as I don't really feel that I fit anywhere else now.  (Candee, so true, I really am a single doublie!  )  Unless there was a "single women TTC sibling with DE" thread of course, and it's only me in that bucket right now.    I so hate being exceptional in this manner!  So be prepared for the occasional rant once the hormones kick in....at least, hormones are my excuse, and I'm sticking to it like glue!    All my drugs arrived today (feel like a junkie as I type) and I start with prostap on 24 September.  ET is likely to be about a month later I guess, but it really depends how the donor responds to the stimms (Suity,    - I know your experience is still raw).  I am quasi dieting (low carb) and have been for a month to get down to the appropriate BMI range for me.  Although not the amazing losses posted by some of the other women on the singles boards, I am pretty content with the 4 kgs that have disappeared to date.  Only another 4 kgs to go to reach my target, so easily achievable.  

Esperanza, if you are reading this, you are being missed....

A-Mx


----------



## madmisti

Suity - must admit new donor sounds good -hope all will become a bit clearer over the next few days and you can come to a decision you are happy with.Without that crystal ball, we can never know if the decisions we make on this journey are going to end up being the right ones. I know only too well how tough it is dealing with a cancelled cycle  

JJ1 -that all sounds really promising    Are you on a different protocol or do they think your lining is recovering with time? Hope they can find you a donor sooner than they predict  

Inde - excited for you    We will def be cycle buddies as my donor's EC is 22nd October ( no idea how they can tell you this so far in advance and it doesn't change!)  And you aren't the only exception on here -think I am very rare in that haven't done an OE IVF but jumped straight to donor. I am glad we have this thread as must admit felt a bit unrecognised on the IVF thread amongst those doing OE at times  Maybe I'm just being oversensitive    Do you mind me asking how you are being synched with the donor? Well done on weight loss BTW - 4kgs is great - especially when you don't actually have that much to lose. Good luck shifting the rest.

Candee - hope scan goes well and you enjoy seeing LO  


Sorry if missed anyone
Lol
Misti x


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Misti, re synching with the donor, she, I think, was given the pill for a week or two, and I am then given a shot of prostap (which I think is your dreaded depot shot!).  This effectively brings us into line after I've had a bleed.  As it happens, AF would be due at about the time the prostap should have done its job, so perhaps I should query this more in line with your experience.  However, I guess I'm happy to go with the flow (excusing the pun  ) as there is not nearly as much clarity here as to when egg collection would take place - it really depends on how the donor responds to the stimms.  Also, I haven't, too date, had lining issues to contend with, so fingers crossed, all will go to plan.   

And you will always be recognised WHICHEVER thread you post on hun!   

A-Mx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Its lovely to see everyone posting on here .... Sort feel this is where I belong  iykwim ...
Misti - so glad to hear that everything is back on track but am also    for you having had your cycle cancelled.  I have everything crossed for your next cycle -     that it all goes according to plan.  
Inde - well done you 4kg is still 4kg - saying that I thought you looked great when I met you - but totally understand the BMI thing - Am still striving to get towards the magic 24.9 ... At 26.6 at the mo - so nearly there.  Am not really doing Cambridge anymore - cals have been upped so weightloss slower now.  Wishing you all the best for your DEIVF honey - yep its strange being a single doublie!!  Rant away too - we're all entitled to one - especially with the extra hormones!!      
Suity how are you honey??
Candee thanks for all your support and PM's honey. 
Big hugs - love you all x x


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Love you too Mini   big hugs right back at you   x


----------



## Candee

Hey girls,
Well I had my scan today and saw one tiny heart-beat and a baby that is 2cm long. I was in a right state before we went in.
So another hurdle crossed, but still *so* far to go. It is all so terrifying and all I can think is thank god it is not an ancient
40+ year old egg!
Mini I can't stop thinking about you. I came up with what I thought was a brilliant plan last night, at 4am, by this morning I decided
it was the ramblings of a nutter. Honestly hun, I am sending you all my love and positive energy. My mum was crying when I told her
what they are doing to you.
Inde I am glad that everything is moving forward hunny and well done on the weight loss. My BMI is shocking!  If nothing else I wish
I had lost weight for all these appointments where you have to drop your drawers and be poked around  !!
Suity I hope you have a wonderful weekend and that the party is brilliant. Whatever you decided to do, all the single doublies are with you!
Misti hun thanks and hopefully this is the one for you. Hope it goes off perfectly to plan.
JJI  I know you have been through so much hun  the lining sounds much better than before - well done you!
Love to RL & thanks for you lovely long post, CEM, Felix, Jovigirl, midnight and anyone I have missed!
Candee
X


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Candee that is fantastic news seeing your LO and HB again!! Another hurdle over for you!!  I see this TTC a bit like the Grand National and we have all these hurdles every step of the way to get over and then final get to the end in tact!! and some like Red Rum get there 2 or 3 times at the finishing line!!

L x


----------



## madmisti

Inde -yes prostap is same thing I had I'm afraid. If you will be in synch with the donor anyway, I would definitely question this. Looking forward to being cyle buddies, and hopefully 40ww buddies too   

Candee - great news re scan. Can understand your caution as there are so many hurdles etc but hoping you have a very happy, healthy and full term  pregnancy  

Mini honey - I hope the shock is wearing off and you can start to see a way forward hun  . We can definitley start a big campaign to keep you in the  UK. Even the Royal Navy would flee in the face of Fertilty Friends Fighters!!


Love to all
Misti xx


----------



## Felix42

Candee, wonderful news re the scan. Its so special to see the heartbeat hun. Enjoy! 

Mini, hope you're doing ok and flight to Brno is good. Give Roo a big hug from me too. 

Misti, great to hear all is gearing up for next go.  for a stressfree go.

Inde, great to hear you're all gearing up too. Wow its going to be so busy for the single doublies here soon. 

Suity, hope you've managed to have some good thinking time amongst the jellies this weekend. Your donor match sounds pretty positive but after last time with the clinic, I can see why you might still have reservations. 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## madmisti

Felix -what a great scan pic  - isn't it amazing how they go from a little bean at 6 week scan to a recognisable baby at 12 weeks    No wonder so many women feel exhausted in first tri !! Hope you are feeling well hun - I read on other thread you are suffering with headaches/ migraines as you come off the hormones - hope this eases    Is it a bit scary stopping the drugs?

Well, I have taken the plunge and booked flights and hotel - even though I am concerned depot will continue to affect cycle and I may not bleed at right time    Donor's EC is 22nd Oct, I fly out 24th for ET 25th or 27th and fly home 28th. It actually feels like ages away but hopefully it will go fast.

Hope everyone's having a nice weekend  

lol
Misti xx


----------



## Felix42

Thanks Misti. The transformation during 1st tri is quite staggering isn't it?! It was pretty scary coming off the meds. Just got to hope now that the migraines calm down. That's great news re new dates. We'll be in October in no time. 

Love & hugs to all fellow singlie doublies! Felix xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Have you seen this on the FF News thread about people going abroad for DE!!! 
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article6840672.ece

/links


----------



## madmisti

JJ1 - very interesting, if a little judgemental. The assumption seems to be that those using egg donors are all selfish, thoughtless, want it all ladies who have 1) put off having a child cos want career etc first 2) have not considered adoption and 3) give no thought to the egg donors. It recognises none of the desperate heart and soul searching, as well as grieving, that a decision to try donor eggs involves.

I think that all the women I have come across on here are anything BUT like that - of course the debate can rage on but each  of us makes our own decision, settles her own conscience etc.

It also assumes that egg donors are poor, illiterate,desparate women living in abject poverty with no intelligence or ability to make informed decisions for themselves. And that the clinics have no regard for them or their health

I do wonder if this woman has any experience of infertilty herself - I doubt it.

Anyway, to be totally topical, I have just received details of my prospective donor -and I have accepted her. I have been very unfussy about characteristics with no requirements for eye or hair colour etc  but she is a close match to me physically ( apart from being a lot lighter fortunately!!) This makes next month tx more real and I feel I have pretty much left the cancelled cycle behind and am now focussing on the new one  

Lol
Misti xx


----------



## Violet66

I also thought the tone of the Times article was harsh - not to mention the comments underneath!

I'll be having egg donor treatment in the next 6 weeks and the morality issue does bother me I admit. I'm also a journalist and I recently interviewed a woman from a fertility ethics committee (she didn't know my story) and I have to admit some of the things she told me did cause me a few sleepless nights. 

However I do get hacked off with the old 'why don't they just adopt' line that's always trotted out. Clearly spouted by people that have no idea of the adoption process and the chaotic UK system. I spent 18 months in the adoption process - it was NEVER going to work for me as a single, white woman in London. As for overseas - there are still many overseas territories that will not adopt to single or same sex couples.


----------



## RichmondLass

Grrr I can't read these articles anymore - or the posted comments - without wanting to harm them with my bare hands.

RLxx


----------



## Candee

I really hope that Naomi Pfeiffer's life works out perfectly for her, but if it doesn't, if she doesn't get all her ducks in a row in time, or if she trusts someone for too long, so that she effectively loses her own fertile years, then maybe she might want to reconsider some of the things she has said in this horrendous article. The self-righteousness of these people horrifies me. It seems like the infertile, and particularly the female infertile, are the last group in society that can be quite freely attacked and discriminated against. I have been meted out similar treatment from a 20 something GP. I looked into her disgusted face, when I told her I had double donation, and I thought what a shame it was that someone so harsh and judgmental had been allowed to qualify in a 'caring' profession. No-one knows what is in their future, but a little compassion and understanding go a very long way.
Candee
x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Best not to read those sorts of articles I think....and particularly not the comments underneath - although I'm disappointed in the Times - you usually expect it from the Daily Mail but I'd thought The Times was a better class of paper!

The way I see it, I've made my decision, and it's one I'm comfortable with. I have the support of my family and my friends - and those are the people who matter to me. As far as anyone else is concerned, their judgemental views are their problem and not mine. It can be hard not to let it get to you, especially when it's to your face (eg from a GP or something...which I've also experienced) but at the same time, we didn't get here by being meek/weak, and we certainly aren't the sort of people to crumble under pressure  

Suitcase
x


----------



## Felix42

Got to agree with you all. I have wrestled with my conscience over using Donor Eggs but I know that Reprofit treat donors very well, they deliberately don't overstimulate and as others have said the donors are clearly not uneducated and exploited by huge sums of money that they could not otherwise enjoy. I really do believe that they are donors in the true sense of the word and the money is recognition of the gift, time and emotional and physical effort they put into that gift. 
As Misti says none of us are selfish, career mad women who put off a family to get on in our career and suddenly thought 'oops I forgot to have children'. We all knew we wanted to have a family and due to circumstances beyond our control found ourselves where we are today with our fertility compromised but still with lots of love to give. 

Articles like this make me mad, sad and unfortunately remind me how judgemental some people are of what they see as our selfish so called 'choice'.  I hope for all our sakes that we do not come across too many people in person with these attitudes and my heart goes out to you again Candee for your horrible experience.  

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## indekiwi

It's very tricky when our decisions are seemingly questioned by a critical audience - as Suity says, they only have power if we give it to them. 

That notwithstanding, this was a too simplistic article for a much larger and more nuanced topic.  I would have been interested in hearing more than a couple of sound bites - were these truly representative of what was said over the course of a much longer set of presentations I wonder?  I am a little cynical when it comes to the press, where journalists will often spin a story around one or two comments.  Had Sammy Lee been quoted right at the top rather than at the bottom of the article, his views would have carried much more weight.  Had the commentary about cost of tx and inability to receive NHS tx over 40 been mentioned at the top, again a different weight would have attached.  Still, not one reference to single women undergoing DE tx abroad - the journos were clearly not out for a super sensationalist bent on their story - how very refreshing!

And I'm fascinated from a feminist / academic perspective - middle class women in wealthy Britain exploiting poor women in third world countries (Spain must be particularly delighted to realise it is still considered a developing economy, at least by Naomi Pfeiffer and  / or the Times...), the analogy to prostitution (but of course, sperm donors are not prostituting themselves, and nor do blood donors or organ donors  ); prostitution always being defined as women (and some times men) being exploited (rather than a choice that some women / men actively make for all sorts of reasons); the idea of working class / poor women en masse not being capable of making an informed choice about become egg donors; exploitation by women of women (the partners within the couples to which NP referred were casually painted out of the picture); the complete absence of commentary surrounding the reasons women are (often inadvertently) compromising their ability to have kids by waiting till their late 30s / 40s to start their families; the idea that motherhood is triggered by "donation" of eggs (on that basis I've flushed so many kids down the loo it ain't funny  ); the almost complete silence on the pre-conditions (other than age) stipulated by many PCTs concerning the eligibility for tx using IVF, let alone donor eggs in this country (effectively pushing couples and singles down alternative routes); the sheer understatement of costs involved in DEIVF in this country (£4k my  ); the cost of tx in the UK effectively ruling out most working class singles / couples from undergoing tx that is not paid for by the NHS - eugenics by stealth in other words....makes me want to head back and do my PhD...

And a final thought, although I have chosen not to leave the UK for my DE tx, I am 100% supportive of all the people who choose to go to other countries for the chance to become a parent.  

A-Mx


----------



## RichmondLass

The argument that continually makes my blood boil is that we are women who have "left it too late".  I have not met or heard of one woman struggling to conceive in her late thirties or forties who "put off having children" because of her career.  It's a total myth invented by men in the media!

It's true that women in the last 30 years have more choice about career or housewifery but the majority of women work because they have to keep themselves or help keep a joint household - not necessarily because they are on a career ladder. Those who do throw themselves into their career are usually not in a relationship and are perhaps substituting the lack of family with something else to fill their lives. I cite myself as an example.

Just about all the stories I've heard are of women who simply didn't meet the right man until it was too late - or at all, or women who were in a relationship with a man who didn't want children or didn't want them yet. Or women for whom it didn't feel right - they weren't ready in themselves.  (Thats Ok for men but not apparently for women)

No-one wants to hear that though,  It's not sensational enough (and I write as a journalist myself so I understand what makes news and a decent feature).

I'm not even going to touch on the donor abroad issue...

RLxx


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## Violet66

Richmondlass I completely agree - this notion that we're a bunch of career *****es that put motherhood on hold so we could climb the corporate ladder and then, at 40, thought 'ok got the partnership, got the car, got the house, better have the kid' is ridiculous. 

I've been ready to have a child since I was about 28 - but i was in a long term relationship with somebody that didn't want children - yes, with hindsight I wasted too much time with him but, in that case, love really was blind. From the age of 37 until now i have not met the right guy. 

To be honest I would give anything to not be trying to conceive a child in this way - a statement I hope people don't interpret in the wrong way - what i mean is that i always imagined I would meet a wonderful man and have a family in the traditional way. But it didn't happen, sometimes life doesn't go as planned. Does that mean I have to forfeit being a mother?


----------



## indekiwi

Yes, and even if we put to one side the idea that Mr Right (right for us and wanting to create a family) hasn't yet had the honour of meeting us,  there is the economic argument that many women - whether presenting as a single or in a couple - in their 20s and 30s simply cannot afford to undergo tx until they have more earning power.  It isn't a case of wanting a baby accessory; many women posting on FF are making real financial sacrifices in order to undertake tx and in some cases borrowing to do so.  They are not saving for "frivolous" objectives, but making a very serious life choice.  A lot of the women over 40 still trying to achieve their motherhood aspirations didn't start tx later in life either - many in couples have tried for years to conceive, may have had one IVF cycle on the NHS (for which they waited a couple of years on the waiting lists) and then spent more months and years saving to have further cycles of tx (during which time they may well have separated due to the pressure of TTC) - then 40 arrived and more radical action is required in terms of donor eggs, going abroad and so on.  Finally, my great grandmother had the last of her umpteen children at 45, and of course Cherie Blair famously had her last at this age more recently.  Do people raise their eyes at these women who have children "naturally" with the same derision as they do single women and couples who decide to go abroad to access donor eggs at the same age?  With such examples of natural conception all around us, it is not that surprising that women feel they are still fit for motherhood right into their 40s, and more power to them.  My mother was 16 when she had me - maybe if she had had 20 - 30 years more up her sleeve, her life, and that of her kids, might have been a very different experience, and dare I say it, a more happy and successful one.  (Please don't break out the tissues - none of us turned into Harold Shipman and are mostly useful members of society!  )

A-Mx


----------



## lulumead

what a ridiculous article and some of those comments are     

I agree Violet...why should we not experience motherhood because the right man has not come along.  If that makes me selfish, then for once I am happy to be so! I know that my child will be born into a very loving and supportive group of family and friends...and I am likely to adopt a child too.
What makes me really angry is that no one judges men that wait until later in life to have children, whilst they 'selfishly' pursue careers (even though I don't think any one of us has done that, we've all just kind of ended up here because we are positive thinkers and have kept the faith that Mr Right will turn up at some point!). But then they don't have the same biology to deal with.

Not articulating myself very well.

Anyway, suffice to say come on double donors! Knowing how much you have all thought this through and considered every angle, I think you will all be brilliant parents and your children will be/are very lucky,
xx


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## Violet66

The strange thing is that when I was with my long term partner (who had very openly and honestly said from the outset that he did not want children) loads of people told me to 'have an accident' - ie trap him into fatherhood.  Some of these same people are now very disapproving of me having fertility treatment as a single woman. 

So, in other words, me tricking a man into becoming a parent against his will is ok but having a much planned for and wanted child alone is not. Weird.


----------



## lulumead

if I had a pound for everytime that had been suggested to me...well!!!

Its madness isn't it.


xx


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## RichmondLass

agree! me too!  It always shocked me as it's something I'd never have dreamed of but  British morality is a complex thing.

RLxx


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## Candee

I know! And then someone who has been massively critical of me having donor sperm, had previously told me to just go out, get drunk and sleep with some random person! How could that possibly be better than fertility treatment? I give up!  
Candee
x


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## lulumead

Oh yeah I've been told that too!
x


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## RichmondLass

Do you think it's because they see it as clinical rather than 'natural'?  That there is something too impersonal for them - it's a transaction rather than doing what women have done for millenia?

I think that must be it.  They see it as more calculating than duping some bloke into being a sperm donor - but at least he gets a shag out of it!

RLxx


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## Felix42

Yes, that sort of advice gives women a bad name. It also leads to potential tugs of war over the poor little mites, nasty financial wrangling and lots of potential unpleasantness for parents and little ones. I know how I'd prefer to come into the world if it can't be as the offspring of two loving parents!

Love & hugs, Felix xx


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## Candee

Absolutely Felix -


Felix42 said:


> I know how I'd prefer to come into the world if it can't be as the offspring of two loving parents!


And after _*years*_ of being messed around by 'Mr-I-Can't-Commit', and then more fruitless waiting for 'Mr Right', I
feel I have finally taken control of my life and it feels so good! 
Candee
x


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## indekiwi

So true Felix - as my (very Christian) midwife put rather succinctly "well, you certainly won't be splitting up from yourself"!  

And yes Candee - it's great to be in (semi!) control of our own destiny and actively working towards it rather than passively waiting for something to happen to us.

Not only have I also been on the end of the casual "pop down the pub love and pull a one night stand", I was also approached by six (yes, I counted them) male acquaintances all offering to shag me and leave a little something behind to "help me out".   One of them (an ex boss) was really upset that I'd turned him down in favour of getting pregnant through the clinic - and he was / is married with three kids  ...pick the bones out of that marriage!  Fortunately I no longer get these approaches as I am open about seeking egg donation whilst continuing to use the same (totally anonymous as was pre 2005 donor) sperm donor as helped me make poppet.  

A-Mx


----------



## RichmondLass

well how about these bones for picking.  A friend of mine - a year older than me - who has had a time bomb of a biological clock going ever since I've known her, has spent the last two years actively trying to get pregnant with the full consent of her lover - a married man with two children who has shown no signs of leaving his existing family.

How on God's green earth is that responsible (from his perspective more than hers) or show any responsibility towards his existing children and family? It gobsmacked me first time she very openly told about it.  She can't see anything wrong in it at all.

It's so far from wrong for the sake of all the children and potential children concerned - never mind the wife - that it makes popping down the pub for a pint of lager and a thimble of sperm look positively saintly!! Can you imagine him explaining their half bro/sis to his two boys a few years down the line Men!

Rlxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

It is mad what some people say about IVF, one of my London FF who had her baby c/o UCH went to a NCT group and a lady  asked 'if she felt differently about her LO as he wasn't 'conceived in love'. I don't think she quite meant it the way it came out but still.. er yes he was...just hi-tech love!!' you can imagine our responses!!

I had another monitoring scan yesterday at CRM and Dr Peter started me on viagra tablets vaginally (I have had viagra pessaries but not the tablet just popped in!!!) my lining was 5.6mm after 13 days, good for me and a good shape lining so I was pleased I really just wished that they would put a few embryos in while it is good - surely there must be an odd one or two in the lab!!!

Another scan tomorrow
L x


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## lulumead

loving the lining JJ...annoying that they don't have one they can pop in to test it out...it sounds nice and cosy  
xx


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## suitcase of dreams

Great news re lining JJ....

It's odd isn't it, how people's morality works? OK to 'accidentally' get pregnant and potentially cause all manner of pain to others (eg the man who didn't want children, the child who grows up with a father who rejects him/her etc) but not OK to think long and hard about something and make the decision because it's what you really want and the child will know nothing but love.....
Guess it's just so engrained in our society that man + woman (and preferably married) + child = family, and although families come in all shapes and sizes now, that traditional view still remains amongst the majority (certainly in my part of leafy Hampshire anyway!)

Sorry for being a bit AWOL at the moment folks, am away with work and really tired - 4 days, 5 flights, 3 hotels, 3 workshops to facilitate and more taxis than I care to count...can't wait for the weekend  
Am thinking of you all though, 
Suitcase
x


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## RichmondLass

JJ fab news re lining!  Well done!  And great to hear of the viagra - does that mean you'll be getting a bit frisky/friskier than usual?? hehe hope so!

RLxx


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## Betty-Boo

JJ fab news re lining honey!!
Yay       for next cycle x x x


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## indekiwi

JJ this is terrific news - so pleased - am hoping that the mock cycle has met CRM's requirements to go ahead with the real thing next time around.       

I had my prostap jab today so am on my way...ho hum.

A-Mx


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## suitcase of dreams

Inde - that's great - very excited for you. Although also a little sad for me as I should have been testing about now and instead I am back to square one. And also p***d off today on account of local flight being cancelled and missing Helsinki-London connection, resulting in 3 hrs wait in Helsinki and not getting home to 10pm... 

But that aside, is great news that you are on your way and I shall be following your progress closely and wishing you loads of luck
Suitcase
x


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## Betty-Boo

Yay inde - all the best for this cycle honey       

Suity - safe journey back honey...   what a mare!!


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## indekiwi

Oh Suity bummer about the delayed / missed flights...   And so sorry my tx has triggered sad thoughts regarding your last cycle.     

I wouldn't be watching progress too closely though...as you know, there's not much to report for weeks at a time as a recipient, the excitement being restricted to one or two lining scans and eventually some news of the donor's response.  Very passive itinerary.  Watching paint dry starts looking like entertainment in comparison!  

CEM, sad to see you here IYKWIM - but delighted to have your company.  

A-Mx


----------



## madmisti

JJ1 -fab news hun - all sounds very promising for actual tx. Any idea when that might be?

Suity - yawn - tired just READING your itinerary!! It is hard not be thinking I would have been doing this now etc after a cancelled cycle  . Have you decided yet whether to accept the new donor offered ( sorry if you have posted this elsewhere but I haven't seen it).

Inde - woohoo! You're on your way cycle buddy  

Claire - sorry you are joining us  , but glad you had already considered the possibilty and so not delaying next tx while you make all the decisions about what next etc. Hope they find you some wonderful embies soon hun  

I'm on norethisterone now - stop it on 2nd and should bleed around the 5th - I will never have been so happy for AF witch to arrive if she appears on time!!

Think my announcement that I had received my new donor details got lost in the responses to the article, but I am very happy with her, and receiving them has helped me to focus forward to rescheduled tx now, rather than back at cancelled one  

Lol to everyone
Misti xx


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## RichmondLass

Inde - enjoy the not much happening girl!  Not much to do but you and your body will be busy soon enough!

Suity - poor you stuck where you don't want to be, but I guess you could be in worse places.  Try and enjoy it? Have a big drink.

Misti - great news re donor, so pleased you are on your way! Good luck this time round.

Cem - I'm not sad you're here infact I'm very pleased because it means you are a lot closer to having a little babster to call your own!! Woopee!!

Jj - hope lining now knows what to do next time round when it's for real!

I now have one day, ONE DAY, to go before I can ditch the itchy patches and pan the messy pessaries! Hooray!!  I have hardly missed not having a period because I've had the pany liners out every day and the granny pants.  And if i had to find a bit of flesh to try and stick three patches again on Saturday I don't think I could find a bit that wasn't red, itchy and excema-y.

Just had lovely massage...

RLxxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Inde- really pleased that you are now on your way!!!

Misti great news that you have a donor and starting on your way!! Good Luck

I had my scan and it was the same, but Dr Peter was happy enough so nothing else till we are matched now!!

L x


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## ♥Jovial♥

JJ1   really pleased everythings look good    Was hoping you would get good news, well done hun!  Hope you've got your match before you know it x

Inde great to hear you're on your way    

Glad you're happy with your donor Misti

Claire    pleased to see you planning ahead, hope you're doing ok  

Suity   for the travel delays, hope you're almost home

Good luck everyone!
Jovi x


----------



## Sima

It's all kicking off here girls.

JJ1 - Glad you had a good mock cycle at CRM.  Fingers crossed   that they find you a donor quickly so you will be soon be on your way for real. 

Inde - not long to go now.  Relax and enjoy the wait.

Misti - great news about the new donor.  Not long to go now.  You must be sooooo excited.   

Cem - welcome to the thread.  

Suity - I hope you are back home now.  What a pain.

Well I guess I am also an official new fully paid up member to the single doublies thread  .  I have decided to give up ttc with my old eggs and move over to donor eggs.  My doc gave me a 5 to 10% chance of conceiving with my own eggs and that is also assuming that they could get to collect my eggs from my ovaries.  So I have put myself down on the egg donor list at the Lister and I am currently in the process of moving my donor sperm across London - (if any of you knows of a good courier company to do this then give me a shout).  I am also looking into the possibility of going abroad for donor eggs which might mean moving some of my sperm again this time from London to ??  In true Sima fashion I am currently investigating all of my options so it might take a few months before I know exactly where I will end up for my treatment.  At the mo my short list is either South Africa, Spain, Greece or Barbados.  I would love to be able to go ahead by the end of the year but I think it might be closer to Easter at this rate.

Byee

S x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

sima how long did the Lister quote you?  They said for me 2+ years and so I didn't even contemplate it.

Good Luck and really hope that things go well
L x


----------



## Sima

JJ1 - they told me 6 to 9 months depending on how fussy I am.  Apparently, they have many African and Caribbean egg sharers and not a whole lot of recipients.  Funny story - on the day of my meeting with the egg donor nurse the nurse asked me how quickly did I want to go.  She then said would I be prepared to go tomorrow.  You can imagine my reaction.  Apparently an egg sharer matching my description was going into EC that day.  Her recipient had pulled out at the last minute so they were ringing round trying to find another recipient.  Luckily I did not have to make my mind up there and then since another lady said she would have been prepared to take the eggs.  The lucky recipient ended up with six eggs which they fertilised and then froze until she is ready to go.  

The Lister gurantee 4 eggs.  There is no gurantee that the eggs will be mature or fertilise.  You would only get money back if the eggs did not fertilise if there was a problem with the eggs ....... if there was a problem with the sperm then tough luck.

Did any of you donor ladies have to give your blood group when being matched with donor eggs?  I don't see why this should be an issue if I plan to tell the child about the donor but some of the clinics I have been speaking to have asked for this.

S


----------



## Candee

Hi Everyone!
Golly it is getting busy on here!
JJ1 - So glad you are ready to go once you get your donor!
Inde and Misti, same for you - well done on getting ready to go - Misti, so glad they got your donor sorted and that you are happy with her.
CEM and Sima, wishing you so much luck for this new journey you are embarking on.
Suity - I do hope you are not still wandering round an airport, like Tom Hanks in The Terminal!  
Hi to all the other single doublies - Mini, Richmond Lass, Jovigirl, Felix, Lulumead and Violet66.

Well girls I need some advice!
As you know, I have had a very negative reaction from my GP and practice nurse, about being double donor.
On Saturday I had a private scan where I did not need to mention the D word and everything was lovely.
On Monday I have my first appointment with the midwife for first NHS scan. I have been sent a big questionnaire, which she fills in with me, all about 
my medical history. What do I do? I don't want to be treated horribly again, I got so upset last time! But in terms of heriditary stuff, my medical history is not relevant. Added to which, they will go 'Down Syndrome' central on me at 42, but if they know the donor was 24, then that is the relevant age...
So what do I do? In South Africa the consultant said that with donor eggs you are more prone to high blood pressure and that I should pass this on to the health care professionals... So I think I should tell, but I will be going on my own, (mum can't get time off ), and don't want to end up in tears, like my last vit to the GPs!

I know of a least one donor egg recipient from FF who did not tell anyone she had used donor eggs... but then again, it might already be in  my medical notes anyway...
Cheers for any advice!
Candee
x


----------



## Felix42

Candee, I had reservations about telling the hospital too but in the end I did and everyone so far has been normal with me. Also if they had used my details rather than donor's I would have got a high risk result on my Down's test rather than v low risk once they put in donor's details. 
Whereabouts are you & which hospital are you going to? 

Welcome to Sima and CEM to the single doublies! Wishing you lots of  on this stage of the journey!

Good luck to Misti, Inde and JJ too and Suity, hope things are becoming clearer for you. 

Hope I've not missed anyone. 

Sending lots of love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Sima great news that the Lister has an abundance of donors for you!!  My donor and I were asked to provide blood results.  I gave and didn't think twice, but also I am rhesus negative and had Anti D after my miscarriage.

Candee so sorry to hear that your GP wasn't supportive, they are a breed of their own, some great and others awful.  I personally will tell the MW (when I am pregnant!!) but suss her out you might not need to tell at this stage, you can say IVF so when they ask about LMP etc you could always discuss confidentiality and say that the only reason you are sharing this info is for the downs testing etc as otherwise it isn't relevant for them to know

Good Luck
L x


----------



## wizard

I haven't really posted on this board so far but have kept up with all your news and just wanted to wish inde, suitcase and misti lots of luck for your cycles.     

JJ that's great about the mock cycle, hopefully you'll be on your way soon enough.

Candee so pleased the scan went well.  I haven't really got much advise to add to others' comments for your appointment on Monday but I sincerely hope you don't ever get treated as badly as you have been.

Claire I hope with all my heart that the move to donor eggs brings you that elusive BFP and the path to motherhood. As you say it's a new game with better odds and that has to be better  

Sima I'm sorry that you're having to join this board too.  I hope you can make a decision about where you have treatment that you are happy with and wish you mountains of luck when you start treatment.

mini are things any clearer with work?  I can't imagine having a job that is potentially so controlling in terms of your life choices.  That is hard.

RL fab news about the patches and pessaries - are you ditching the granny pants too?! 

Finally Felix, what a fantastic scan.  It really makes me smile  

Sorry if I've missed anyone.

Wizard x


----------



## indekiwi

Quick(ish) one from me as have guests and need to find my bed.

Misti - ooooooooohhhhh, so exciting, you're on the go again and THIS TIME things are gonna happen RIGHT!!!!!        

Sima, sad but glad to see you moving over to this side of the fence - but I like to think the grass is greener (and maybe more fertile?) here anyway!    Viz moving sperm abroad, unless the HFEA rules have changed on this, you are unable to move gametes (whether your own, your partner's or a donor's) outside of the UK unless the destination country meets certain criteria.  Right now, Spain and Cyprus (which I looked into) certainly don't qualify.  A simple phone call to HFEA will give you more info I'm sure.  So unless you're wedded to the donor sperm you have, you might think about choosing a new donor in your country of tx choice.  This, by the way, is the reason I haven't left the UK in search of an egg donor / quick match - I would prefer to use sibling sperm (the lucky stuff that contributed to my poppet).  On a separate subject, I was asked for my blood type at CRM (couldn't work out the relevance but figured it wasn't a big enough thing to go in to bat on).  Good luck in your research and decision making.   

Candee, I am     that you don't meet the same sort of bigoted, narrow minded thinking you did with the individual purporting to be a GP.  If you were anywhere close to me, I'd offer to come along with a big   in order to pre-empt any more of the rubbish you've encountered in the past.  As ever, your choice as to what to tell or not - but a professional midwife would be likely be fascinated, interested, but completely professional - and you need to hold them to that level of service provision.  I'm sure you don't need to be told this   but if you approach this meeting with confidence and the excitement you undoubtedly have about becoming a mummy (I mean, how cool is that after all the thinking, planning and trying you've done?!?!?!  ) then at least you'll be very much on the front foot and the midwife will be responding to this.  I'm so hoping this meeting is going to be much much better than previous experiences.   

Thanks to everyone posting messages of good will - the second small person in my life will likely have very many honorary aunties indeed.  

A-Mx


----------



## Candee

Hey girls!
Thanks for the supportive posts!  
Well the midwife could not have been nicer! I told her all about it and she was lovely and supportive
and was very clear about confidentiality and just everything you want really! So thank goodness for
that! What a relief!

Think I am gonna have to tell work soon though, as I have a scan coming up, plus meeting with 
the consultant and some blood tests next week - so I can't continue playing on my non-existant back problem!
It just seems way to early to tell really... but I think I will have to bite the bullet because usually I
never have anytime of work, so all these appointments are really going to raise eyebrows!

Hope all is going well with everyone else.
Take care
Candee
x


----------



## indekiwi

Candee, so very pleased your midwife appointment went well!!  Here's hoping you get to deal with more like her as your pregnancy progresses.      Good luck with telling your work colleagues.    

A-Mx


----------



## Felix42

Wonderful news Candee. I am so pleased you had a positive response. 
Re appointments, could you be having a gynae matter being investigated rather than having to say so early? Or maybe a half day or two of leave? 

Hope all other single doublies are doing well. 
Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## madmisti

Grrrr - just lost a long post  

I really don't want to say too much about my personal decision re anon v identity release donors on the forum because I don't want to upset anyone who has diifferent views. Suffice to say that what Suity's counsellor said about not necessarily beneficial to have i.d release and could create challenges for the child/ young adult etc was a major part of my decision.

But I believe that the most important thing about it all is that we make a choice we are happy, secure and comfortable with because -as others have said -this way it is unlikely that the child will have major problems with it.

There is no absolute right or wrong here -just a personal decison to be made having looked at all the angles - as far as that is possible without a crystal ball!

I am happy to chat via Pm etc if anyone would like  

lol
Misti xx
PS - not sure if this has been moved or i posted it in wrong place  ! But it is meant to be on Single Abroadies thread!! Apologies!


----------



## Betty-Boo

It is such a personal thing - don't ask me why cos I can't explain it but am happy to have anon eggs but not sperm... I intend to tell my child and be open with them when I am successful.  Think that's why I've always opted for a donor in the same blood group.  Saying that am also on the list for DE in the UK - so do think about it from the other side too.
Congrats Candee on having  a successful midwives meet.  Yay!!  So excited for you honey x x
Big hello to everyone - gonna be a few of you cycling soon!!  So so excited for you all.
No news on job front - think this is the only case of no news is not good news as I was told I'd hear from work if I don't go to the Falkalnds.  Have had a rethink and it does give me 6 months to save lots (nothing to spend money on down there) and it will give me another 6 months to get super fit mentally and physically.  So can't be bad plus the blokes out number the women about 10 to 1!!!  Bonus - may have a little fun on the way too!!!        
Finding it hard posting on other threads at the mo - too much talk about egg yield and follies.  I am happy for everyone but sometimes it is just so darn hard.    
Big hugs mini x x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

To be honest for me the id release hasn't even crossed my mind with DE's- in Spain they were anon and over here in fact I just realised that they are ID released, I was just concentrating on the time factor and how long to wait for them.  Like Mini.

I wanted a known donor (ie a friend not ID release ) for sperm so that the child would know the father as it is growing up as well- I know this is a luxury that is not always possible for everyone.  

I guess for the eggs for me it is less of a issue as I will be the mother and give birth to the baby as is the same case donated embryos.

It is a very personal decision.
Mini any news if you still have to go abroad with work?

L x


----------



## Betty-Boo

JJ - still waiting - hopefully will hear one way or other this week .... can't say its been a brilliant leave as just want an answer ... typical military!! 
I do like your thinking re eggs ... at the end of the day you're right - its a baby that I would love and cherish - not how that baby came about.  Thank you  
Think I'm just feeling a bit sensitive about eggies at the mo ... Must be hormonal!!      

Big hugs and take care x x


----------



## Damelottie

Mini


----------



## madmisti

First off I apologise if anyone was a bit confused by my last post re anonimity v id release donors -it is meant to be part of the discussion on Single Abroadies thread. Not sure if  I posted it in the wrong place ( it was late!) or it was moved by a mod. Anyway, hope i didn't upset anyone  

Candee - fab midwife - so glad for you. Bet you can't wait for scan ( this whole journey consists of waiting for SOMETHING!!) Good luck hun 

Mini - good that you are able to see some positives if you do get posted to Falklands. It's a shame they told you just before your leave as not surprised this has dominated your thoughts etc, and the whole point of leave is not to think about work. I hope that however things work out, you will be happy, and one day you WILL have that baby in your arms . Understand your difficulty with reading about others tx too - it can be tough. Didn't someone start a thread for those waiting for tx? Hugs honey 

Inde- how you doing. When do you expect AF to arrive?

Lol
Misti xx


----------



## Damelottie

Misti - I thought I was going    with that post


----------



## madmisti

LL - sorry about that! It was me going   not you  

M xx


----------



## winky77

Hi Girls.....with one eye to a possible future I have been reading this thread with much interest.  CEM and Sima ....I'm glad you have made the transition to donor eggs so positively (was good to talk about it yesterday CEM).  I am trying to stay positive about my current cycle but have had so much false hope created with good yields across 5 ivfs,  there is an extra layer of caution around me this time.  Everytime I am at Reprofit one or another of the docs points out 1966 on my details and yet again I wonder if I have been mad to keep going!  

Candee.....so glad your midwife was a gem after your awful earlier experiences! 

...Winky


----------



## Betty-Boo

Winky - believe you me - If I'd had the chance I'd still keep going .... All the best honey x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Me too Winky...I only stopped with my own eggs when PGD quite clearly showed I was wasting my time with embyros which were so chromosomally abnormal that they'd never have made it to real live baby. And even then when feistyblue posted somewhere or other that every cycle can be different and just because you have a bunch of dud eggs one month doesn't mean you will the next, I almost went back to trying again with OE...but I've decided I don't have the time, money, or emotional strength to do that - even if there is a month where my eggs turn out not to be totally abnormal, it could be next month, or it could be on the 15th try...and I just can't go through it that many times...

Update from me: spoke to consultant at current clinic today after awful cancelled cycle and she has agreed to personally take care of communication on next cycle, and has also agreed (at her suggestion, not mine...) to waive the cancellation fee if by some awful chance I get cancelled again because the donor doesn't respond. So I'm going ahead with my new donor who is 27 - which has to be a good sign   Dates tba but she's just gone on the pill, and I'm on it, so I'm guessing mid-end November transfer - tx plan in the post to me apparently

And as a back up I've emailed Reprofit to ask when they could fit me in for fresh DE cycle. 

So there we go - fingers crossed my luck might finally turn  

And Winky - hope you got good fert rates overnight

Suitcase
x


----------



## Betty-Boo

Suity I'm so glad that they are taking things seriously now.  That should never have happened last time.  The will it wont it must have really sent you  

Big hugs .... 

I am feeling a lot more   this morning - still no news on move.  Pathetic!!  In some ways am so glad I only have 4 years left with the Navy .... Hate not having control of my life!

Saying that do we ever have control??

Here's hoping it does get delay as have just started my Psychology degree and finding it interesting so far....

x x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Mini - the not knowing about the job must be so awful, really hoping you get an answer one way or another soon.... 

Just spoke to nurse at clinic, baseline scan 27th October, ET around 16th November if all goes well....keeping my fingers, toes and everything else very firmly crossed - surely it has to be my turn?

Suitcase
x


----------



## winky77

Defo your turn Suity!!! 

I have to make my phonecall in half an hour....still in dilemma whether to go for PGD or not!!  Suity....what were the factors that made you decide to do it?  Remind me again!!  My mind is getting boggled!  When I mentioned it to Marcel yesterday he wasn't selling it.....said it was a lot of extra cost for me and most important thing at my age was to get pregnant! ?!?

Help !


----------



## indekiwi

Winky, hope you're standing tall again this evening after the disappointment of this morning.     Said it already to you, but if my ovaries were still producing more than the odd follicle as and when they could be bothered, I would likely still be using own eggs in TTC.  It wasn't easy for me at first to consider donor eggs, but it was immeasurably easier because I simply couldn't produce my own.  And I have to say (before someone rather dryly points it out) that it was easier too because I already have poppet so in a sense I've passed on my genetic material (complete with dodgy mental illness stuff that runs right through one side of my family. Poppet will not be best pleased with me on that account  )

Suity, sounds like you're on course once more - and making plan B in case plan A doesn't deliver the goodies.    It's great you've been matched so quickly again.  

Mini,      I hope this doesn't drag on too much longer and someone realises that they're about to lose you, panics madly and creates like hell to keep you in your current role for the foreseeable future....

Misti, AF is bang on time - or will be tomorrow as it started this arvo.  Whether this is because or or despite the depot shot is anyone's guess.    So I guess first scan is going to be Monday.  Regardless, it's one wait after another and I'm already bored.  

Hi to everyone else  

A-Mx


----------



## Felix42

Suity, brilliant news re donor. Hope all dates work out well and you can go smooth sailing to ET. Great to get such a young donor. Augers well!  

Inde, that's brilliant you are good to go hun. Not too long now. Hope the waiting doesn't drive you too   I must admit with donor eggs, I'd don't feel as if I'm not passing on my genetic material (if those double negatives make any sense) as being pregnant and supporting little one like this feels as close as it gets. I've heard too so many people say that their donor conceived little ones do have some of their characteristic despite the lack of direct genetic link, so who knows how I'll feel later (if there are no similarities). 

Misti, hope you're doing ok and preps are going nicely. 

Hello too to Candee, JJ and RL (when back from Lanzarote!). 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## indekiwi

Felix, I have a few - possibly off the wall   - thoughts on the inheritance any double donor conceived child will have from me.

I was reflecting on my extended family, and why I would prioritise genetic heritage over having a child through donor eggs.  I figured out that in reality, nothing marked my biological family out as anything other than bog standard normal so what was the big deal about?  It's not like Einstein was a direct (or even remotely indirect) relative, nor am I a distant cousin to the Queen, etc.   What was important about my family however was how much I loved them and that they loved me, their values (or at least those I have chosen to advocate) and their special qualities or ways of seeing things.  That my grandfathers were my grandfathers genetically was one thing, but what made them special to me was the relationships I had with them - and biology had nowt to do with that (there are other members of my family that I wish to god I wasn't related to, but there's another tale).  

Secondly, the way I see it, (and it took Aweeze to show me the way over a glass or two of something tasty  ) is that my second bub may not get my Claudia Scheiffer looks   but (s)he will absolutely inherit many of the values and qualities my grandparents and my mum passed down to me.  And that is why I think my grandfathers will be rolling their eyes up in the clouds that I can't seem to do anything in a straightforward, non controversial way, but be fully approving of the fact that the memories I have of them, and their influence over how I comport myself in life and think about things, will be passed to a new generation of THEIR family.  

Finally, pregnancy by its nature binds you together with your child.  You are its source of oxygen, its food, its route to eliminating what it doesn't need (get used to playing that role  ) and to providing it with the space and time to develop and grow.  Trust me, when that bub is born, you are going to feel it, not the donor!  There has to be some cross pollination some how in terms of genetics - I just don't have the science to prove the gut feel I have for this.  

And so endeth my thoughts for the evening.   

A-Mx


----------



## madmisti

Suity -so glad you now have a new tx cycle to focus on and the doc is(hopefully) goign to make sure there is a massive improvement on the communication front!!  This must surely be your turn hun - keeping everything crossed for you   

Winky - so sorry you had such a blow with the fert rate    It is understandable you were upset. But I have faith that you have at least one fighting embie there who is going to make all your dreams come true     

Mini - I am amazed at how you are handling the not knowing, the stress etc - I hope everything works out for you hun 

Inde - I always love your posts, but even by your standards, that last one was a corker!!  It made me cry and laugh in equal measure    You express thoughts/feelings/opinions with such thought and wisdom - often expressing my own but much more eloquently than I ever could. The Grandfather I grew up loving and being loved by, and learning important life lessons from, was not my genetic grandfather (he was killed in WW2 whilst my grandmother was pregnant with my mother and she later remarried). But he is the person in my family who has had the most influence on me, and whose qualities I would most like my child to have.My mother on the other hand, did nothing to deserve that title - just one example being that she often told me she wished I had never been born. The effects of my childhood are one of the reasons I came to trying for motherhood myself so late in the game, and I know from this experience that being a mother has nothing to do with having a genetic link to a child.  Change of tack.... so glad your AF has arrived on time!! Wohoo - you're on your way!!  I stop norethisterone Friday and then just pray AF turns up within the following 5 days    I won't have a scan until about Day 14 - you have much fewer with Reprofit. Never had a lining issue, so not expecting any probs this time. Know what you mean about all  the waiting being boring  - it is just a constant series of waits for various things, though I  will be VERY happy to get to the stage of waiting for 1st scan, waiting for 2nd scan etc!!

Take care everyone  

lol
misti xx


----------



## Damelottie

Felix42 said:


> I've heard too so many people say that their donor conceived little ones do have some of their characteristic despite the lack of direct genetic link


I wasn't really expecting anything but Alfie def has my fingers and toes. And he is the spitting image of my niece when she was his age. Its made me think how there is so much more to this DNA stuff that will be discovered in the future 

xx


----------



## Candee

He is megacute LadyLottie and so awake and interested for such a littley! He is just gorgeous!
How is the sleep going? 
Candee
x


----------



## madmisti

Anyone see the programme about twins on BBC1? They were exploring the whole nature/nurture debate and the last 10 mins or so of programme was about epigenetics.  Sure you've all heard of this, but just in case, it is a relatively new research field that explores the influence of environment on the expression of genes and is particularly relevant for donor eggs.  They compared it to a piece of music - the written music is the equivalent of the dna make-up of a person, the genes they have, but it is the conductor who controls how the piece is actually played -how the written music is interpreted etc.I thought this was a lovely analogy  

lol
Misti xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Missed it Misti - was shattered after exciting day at the zoo - but love that analogy!! 
How are you feeling Not long now honey!!       that the witch arrives as she should!! x


----------



## Sima

I saw the BBC twin programme yesterday and thought it was fascinating.  Well worth watching since they focused a lot on the nature vs nurture debate.  For those of you who missed it I am sure you can find it on the BBC iplayer.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

yes, it was a really interesting program last night, both because of the epigenetics angle, and also for those of us on the weight loss path at the moment - some really interesting stuff around genes and weight....


----------



## Felix42

Will have a look at twins programme as sounds v interesting. 

Thank you (belatedly) for your thoughts on family Inde. Beautifully put and very true. When we have our babies, they will abslolutely part of our families and family trees. 
I've been suffering with migraines again - sick twice yesterday with it too & hardly slept last night so still not feeling well enough to go back to work today. Taking it very easy. 

Hope everyone else is doing ok. 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## madmisti

Felix -so sorry you are suffering - I get migraines and they are just awful -hope you feel better soon hun 

Mini - thanks hun - I'm ok, just trying not to get too stressed about AF turning up as then she surely won't    Once she arrives I will breathe a huge sigh of relief and start to believe it will actually go ahead!!

Suity - I found the weight thing interesting too - so unfair that some of us are born prone to be fat  and have to work harder to be slim  

Definitely worth watching these on iplayer if you missed them ( there was one on Wed evening too)

Love to all
misti xx


----------



## winky77

ooo....that twin programme sounds interesting.....frustrated that I can't get i-player to work out here .....will have to wait until monday....at which point I will be pregnant with at least twins and don't want to pass on my weight genetics (hence went for 6-4 slim donor!!) so very appropriate I watch it ! 

hope the migraine ease up Felix....how awful to feel so sick. 

lol

..Winky


----------



## Sima

Hi Fellow Single Doublies.  I hope you are all doing well.

Update from me.  I've arranged for my donor sperm to be moved from the Bridge to the Lister this week.  It's going to cost me £50 plus VAT or thereabouts so not too bad.  I am also on the Lister wait list for donor eggs.  I've only been on it for 1 month so far so I'll leave it a while before I start to hassle them.  I have also been in touch with Serum in Greece.  They have a donor which matches my complexion on their books and who is ready to go whenever I am ready.  I don't have too much information on her at the mo but I do know she is a successful donor which is always a positive sign.  So next step for me is to fix up an initial appointment with Serum (which I hope to do by the end of Oct), carry out a test for Chlamydia (which is mandatory for Serum and involves me sending them a blood sample via courier for testing) and then possibly having another hysteroscopy. 

Ideally I would like to be in a position to have my first DE cycle by the end of the year but I think I will need to see if I need to do anything with my fibroids before going for treatment.  I am desperately   that I do not need to have a myomectomy since my fibroids are all outside my uterus but the cons might say that I might need one in order to give me the best chance of having a successful pregnancy.  I have sent the clinic copies of my latest scans and will then wait for a second opinion on what I need to do with my fibroids.  If I do need to have another operation then I probably would not be in a position to have my DE cycle until Easter next year.  Well as others have said I do not need to worry about timing so much now since I will be using DE and not OE so the fact that the big 40 is looming at the end of the year should not be an issue.  

I am feeling excited but also really apprehensive.  After two failed cycles I really hope that the move to DE will give me a better chance of success but I know there is still no guarantee of success.  I guess I need to take one step at a time so in the first instance I will get all my tests done and will see if I need to have that op or not.

It is going to get busy on here really soon.  Inde, Misti and Suity.......not long for you now.  How are you feeling?  

CEM - any more news on the donor embryos?

Sima x


----------



## winky77

Wow Sima...that all sounds very exciting and I've got everything crossed for you re. the fibroids.  Mine hadnt miraculously disappeared and was still lurking there when Stepan did the transfer yesterday.....he felt it was encroaching on the cavity a bit ....whereas the woman doing the follicle scans at GCRM had said she thought it wasnt.....I never know what to believe!  But I am hoping that one or two of my uber embies will find a way around it this time!!! 

I must admit that Athens sounds an exciting option.  When I was there in June I was tempted to suss them out but I am a bit hooked on Reprofit still!  

Does anyone know what the Twins programme was called....I want to try and find it on BBC Iplayer. 

lol
..Winky


----------



## Sima

Yes - I was surprised when I got the quote the courier company re transferring sperm.  I thought it was going to be closer to £100 and the Bridge had quoted me £120 to 150.  I'm glad I did my own research!!

Why Serum?  I basically just did a little search for clinics which would have egg donors for people from my ethnic background (African).  I knew Reprofit would not have anything for me and I originally considered going to either South Africa or Barbados.  I have nor ruled out these countries but I really do not want to spend too much time out of the country and if I go to either of those countries then I would need to be away for a min of a week. 

I got in touch with Serum via Ruth (one of the FF moderators) and she is a nurse who works with some clinics in Spain and Greece and told me that both clinics have black donors on their books with no waiting list.  I was surprised but decided to follow up on this.  Serum then came up since they just happened to have a good donor match for me (I had sent details of my appearance together with photos of myself).  I have since been following the Serum thread on FF and it seems to have good feedback from some of the people using the clinic.  The cost for the treatment is Euro 5000.    So Claire, the answer to your question is convenience (Europe), short waiting list, and good feedback.  Richmond Lass also put me in touch with IM in Barcelona and I have not ruled them out either.  They have been a bit slower in answering my questions but they too have a number of black donors on their books and they claim to have a success rate of 70% which is extraordinarily high.  They are quite expensive but hopefully worth it with results like that.  

Claire - I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that you can get another tx in before Nov.  You are right it would be nice to be preggers by your birthday since it is such a milestone.

I'm not too sure if any of you saw The Genius of Charles Darwin on Channel 4 last night.  They were talking about genetics and at one stage spoke about women choosing their mates.  They then went on to interview a number of SMC women who were choosing donors from a sperm bank.  It was interesting to see how they went about choosing the donors.  Probably not worth seeing the whole programme unless you are interesting in Darwin but if you did want to check it out on 4od then the ladies came in around half way through.


----------



## winky77

Hi CEM....Marcel wasnt chopping off the fibroid in the hysterscopy ..the histology showed it was a polyp not a fibroid...is obviously good that the polyp was removed as they also interfere with implantation.....the polyp may have been there for a while but not picked up on scans as my lining is usually pretty thick at the point of follicle scanning so it wouldnt necessarily be noticed (lining was 16mm at transfer this time.....Stepan said it was a pillow!). I am trying to not get too frustrated about the fibroid.....would be better if it wasnt there ...but it's not that big and doesnt appear to be growing at the moment.   

..WInky


----------



## Sima

Coco -  I'll send you the name of the courier I am using.  I was definitely impressed with his quote but I still have to be presented with the final bill so it might creep up.  I'll let you know what they come up with but the price he quoted was the price for moving the sperm across London.

CEM - I am not sure what I will do with the sperm if I do end up doing my DE in Europe.  The clinic seems to think I can export the sperm to their clinic and they have even given me the name of a courier firm which will do this for me but then I have heard from other people on here that it is difficult to export sperm to countries which do not have the same policy on donor policy as the UK.  My task for this week is to find out what I can do.  If it comes to it then I will have to use the stuff from Serum which costs euro 300 but is not id release or I could import from Xytex again but its such a shame to do that when I have a ship load of the stuff sitting here in London.  You never know Lister might come up trumps for me quickly.

Great lining Winky - I hope those embies are snuggling in nicely.


----------



## indekiwi

Sima, just looking at an invoice for £100 for sperm transportation across Marylebone....wish I'd done a bit of homework like you!  Good to see you making plans - and fingers crossed that those fibroids aren't going to make a nuisance of themselves.   

I have a scan tomorrow and then there will be another interminable wait...

A-Mx


----------



## Felix42

Sima, great news about the options that you have lined up. Fingers crossed it all comes together soon. Amazing price for moving the sperm too. That must have been a few interesting conversations to get the quotes!
I hear Serum are big on hysteroscopies but bear in mind that Reprofit are probably a lot cheaper (c250 Euros) to get it done if that's what you decide you need before your next go.  

Cem, good to hear that you should be getting news of your embies shortly. Hope its soon. Very exciting!

Candee, how are you doing hun and how's the MS? Hope its lots better. 

RL, are you back from hols yet? Hope you had a fantastic time and baby is chilling nicely. 

Wishing all single doublies lots of  and  

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Sima have your read AlmaMay story about how wonderful Penny was and after her hysterocopy diagnosed something all the others missed and numerous IVF's into the double figures of transfers got her baby.


----------



## Damelottie

Does anybody know what the current wait time is for Donor Embryos?

LL x

PS Yes I am thinking of number 2 bubs


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

LL so thrilled that you are planning ahead for a bro or sister!!
L x


----------



## Damelottie

Hi JJ1 - I know I'd regret it if not. I'm thinking of trying again when little one is about 1 year old. Seemed to make sense to get on the list now


----------



## lulumead

winky...twins programme was the secret lives of twins.  I blubbed at the adopted twins from china.
xx


----------



## indekiwi

Lulu, just watched this on iplayer - joined you in blubbing re the little Chinese girls.  

LL, good for you!  

A-Mx


----------



## lulumead

Was so heartbreaking when they had to leave each other again. Plus even though i've seen a few films of people meeting their babies for the first time, I find it so hard to believe that will be me one day and that I will be handed such a traumatised little one to have forever. Weird...but maybe no weirder than giving birth  

xx


----------



## Damelottie

Thanks Cem


----------



## Sima

LL - good to see you are making plans for baby no 2 already.


----------



## Betty-Boo

LL love it honey!!!  A little bub for Alfie! Fab news x


----------



## madmisti

LL - Wow, how exciting!! Sure if you ask Stepan  now he will 'book' some for you for next year

Sima - I hope that you will find a way forward soon hun - certainly sounds as though you have few options 

Claire - any news yet?

Well, I am pleased to announce - drum roll..... AF arrived last night bang on time    Never been so pleased to see her !! I can now relax a bit and start to believe it will actually happen this time. Started estrofem & aspirin - need to remind myself when I start the Fragmin and steroids - think it's from Donor's EC.

Have booked in to stay where Winky did which will make a nice change after  5 times at The Grand!!

lol
Misti xx


----------



## indekiwi

Hey Misti, great to hear you are on your way!   

Scan went as expected today so just waiting to hear when to start on the progynova - should be the end of the week.

A-Mx


----------



## RichmondLass

Wow lots of action on here ladies.  Good luck to everyone who's starting or is on their journey!  

RLxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Great that you're both on the way Inde and Misti....sending    for a successful cycle for you both

I have my downregging shot next Monday, then hopefully stop pill 16th Oct, transfer mid November - if things go better than last time that is - fingers crossed   

Am totally snowed under at the moment with work, and various other stuff, so not around very much. Am thinking of you all though,

Suitcase
x


----------



## Betty-Boo

Inde Misti        
Suity not long now for you   
Big hugs x x


----------



## Sima

Good stuff Misti.  I'm glad AF is playing ball for you.  That's one worry over.

Inde - good news on the scan, not long for you now either.  Good luck.

Suity - I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.


----------



## indekiwi

Suity, not long now for you hun - fingers crossed for more successes on this thread    .

A-Mx


----------



## blueytoo

Misti - so good to hear you are under way again, really pleased for you hun  

Claire xx


----------



## madmisti

Thank you for the good wishes ladies  I can't tell you what a relief it is after the horror of last month. Hopefully everything else will play ball too  

Inde - my cycle buddy    Glad all good on scan. As you say, yet another wait now    Really hoping we will have 'twins' between us!!

Suity - so so hope all goes well this time round hun. Keep that consulltant on her toes with the communication she has promised. Hopefully you will join Inde and I on the 40ww   

Let's get the double D's  on a good run of BFP's!!

lol
Misti xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Well I've now had it confirmed .... I'm off to the Falklands so have to cancel all txing for the time being.  Not sure when or if I'll be back on the roller coaster.  Will have to email S tomorrow and cancel next cycle        
On a good point tho  -  I MAY return to Plymouth on my return!! Yay!!!!!!

Big hugs mini x x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Mini when does your term start?
L x


----------



## Felix42

Oh Mini, so sorry to hear about the Falklands. Good that you can return to Plymouth afterwards though and you can save up like fury while on the Islands! If I was you I'd say to S that you need to postpone the DE cycle and get him to give you a date that matches your most likely time of return or shortly after that to reduce the stress. That way you know you've got the date as a reassurance and you can always cancel/postpone later if you want to. Big  though about this great disappointment. 

Misti, Inde and Suity, great that things will be hotting up for the 2ww / 40 ww shortly. Fingers very firmly crossed for everyone. 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## Damelottie

Mini -  . I think Felix makes a good point hun. Book a a new date - you can always cancel it


----------



## RichmondLass

woo hoo! Falklands! am I the only one who thinks it's exciting?  Might be a bit chilly though.  But on the bright side, you 'l make friends with lots of penguins...

I nearly went to the Falklands once to write a book.  have fantasised about it ever since.


Well Mini you could make some cash on the side setting up your own dating agency with all those blokes and us singlies!!

Mine's the vaguely intelligent, senstive and caring one please.... where do I sign?  
RLxxx


----------



## Betty-Boo

RL - been there before ... its ok .... but would much rather be here and undergoing my tx.

Having to cancel really does hurt.

Felix - I'm planning on emailing S tomorrow and asking for a sept / oct tx. Might be tight.  I get a months leaveon my return from falklands but only 4 weeks- not sure could fit it in and no way of having depot in falklands in preparation .... am sure it'll work its way out.  
Thanks for all your wise words  
You're all fab x x


----------



## Candee

Mini
I have pmed you hun - I am so sorry about the stupid navy  
Just to say, you don't have to have a depot shot - you can sniff synarel to shut your system
down - that's what i did before going to South Africa.
Cheers
Candee
x


----------



## Sima

Mini - sorry to hear about your posting to the Falklands.  I hope the time passes by quickly for you.  Do keep on posting when you are out there since you are always a source of inspiration.  All the best.


----------



## madmisti

Mini - have they at lewast confirmed that you will only be there 6 months? I know at one point you weren't sure if it might be longer. Hope you can make the best of it hun - we will try and help you get through it and make the time go quicker  


Well, after the relief of AF arriving on time, now all f*****d up again, Only bled for 24hrs - very light and then completely stopped. Have booked a scan for tomorrow to see what's going on. Am very worried....

Never had ANY problems before that bl***y depot ( so Mini don't worry about using alternative!). Always been regular - had great linings for FET's etc. Can just see this cycle going up the swanny like last one  . Will know more tomorrow.

A very worried and p 'd off
Misti x


----------



## RichmondLass

ah ok not quite as exciting if you've been there before, but there's still the possiblity of lots of rumpy pumpy for the next six months, you never know!  And I'm serious about the dating agency!
Sounds like the other girls have some good ideas and advice about kick starting the next round of treatment to make best use of your month off, so I really hope that works out for you.

Sorry you're disappointed - but do keep in touch while you're out there and post us a few pics of you and the penguins, er I mean hunky blokes.  

RLxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

misti - I don't think it matters hun. I didn't really bleed last time because I'd been on the pill so long and then the depot...no lining to build up
but then I had no problem building up lining for tx...so don't think it's an issue if you don't bleed heavily
hope you get it sorted
I don't seem to have had any ill effects from the depot at all...but then again, who knows what it's doing longer term!

Suitcase
x


----------



## Betty-Boo

Misti have everything crossed for this cycle honey and all the best for scan tomorrow x x x

Big hugs x x

RL - will try and post piccies on my ********!!!! Dating agency here we come!!


----------



## RichmondLass

hurrah!!! misti are you on the bumps ********? - pm me your real name!
RLxx


----------



## RichmondLass

sorry silly me - I mean Mini!!!


----------



## Damelottie

I've spoken to Stefan and have terms for DE cycle next October   

Plenty of time to cance if it doesn't seem right nearer the time, but wanted to get on the list


----------



## indekiwi

Yay LadyLottie!!!     .  Great to have it organised already - I hope the time doesn't go past too soon so you can enjoy little Alfie to the max in his first year - but on the other hand, an exciting event to look forward to in a year's time (and for Alfie too, if he did but understand  )

A-Mx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Ooo LadyL - hopefully I'll be out there then too!!!!!
I'll look after A whilst you're having ET for you!!

Exciting x x


----------



## Sima

Good stuff LL.  The time will fly by.


----------



## indekiwi

Misti, if you're reading, good luck for your scan tomorrow.     

A-Mx


----------



## RichmondLass

oo LL - I want two and about worried about how quick I can do it and how I can afford it etc. So you are an inspiration!  Congrats for the big step!  Good on you girl!
RLxx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Misti thinking of you - all the best x


----------



## madmisti

Thank you ladies

Scan today showed 9.7mm lining. I know some people would kill for that, but I think that comparing it to what is normal for you is more important than the actaul figure and I have had 13.3 and 14 mm previously so a bit disappointed.

At least there is a lining there - was so worried that the light Af I had would mean I still had to shed the old lining and I would bleed again. Scanner said lining is 'proliferative' which shows it is a new lining and not a 6 week old one!

So, mixed feelings. Relieved that there should be no reason why cycle can't go ahead, but disappointed a bit with lining - though I know it has a chance to grow some more.

Lol
Misti xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Misti - I've known some have embies put back with a lining of 7.5mm and have a BFP - reckon your 9.7mm is super super plump honey.
All looking good x x


----------



## Candee

Mistimop, wishing you so much luck 
At my final lining check mine was 7.5mm, so even though it is less than usual for you,
you are still ahead of the game at over 9mm.
         
Candee
x


----------



## Candee

Mini my post crossed with yours! I am one of the people that only got to 7.5mm  
Candee
x


----------



## Betty-Boo

Candee - I know a few who've had BFP's after 7.5 - in fact one after 6mm!!  So it can be done!
How are you Candee??  How's the bump progressing
Big hugs x x


----------



## Candee

TBH, my tummy is so fat anyway, that I haven't really noticed any difference yet


----------



## Betty-Boo

Ah - I must have your share then


----------



## RichmondLass

Misti that's good news.  You only have to have 5.5mm at IM.  I think I reached 5.6 and then transfer was a few days later so could have increased.  But it doesn't make any difference.  Yours is super plump in comparison to what they'd need in Spain.

RLxx


----------



## indekiwi

Misti, I asked at the clinic the other day - the thinnest lining that is known to have achieved a pregnancy was under 5 mm...so my dear I'm afraid you're just an uber achiever at current levels!!    Of course, if you enjoy competing with yourself as to outdoing your last lining "performance" then okay, you're having a comparatively poor response....however, methinks you set the bar overly high for yourself!      

A-Mx


----------



## madmisti

Thanks everyone for the reassurance    I think I am finding it hard to get positive about this treatment after last month and the worries this month - but I AM very very relieved to have a lining at all after my concerns last week!  I know 9.7 is fine - I suppose you just hope that you will match previous ones! Didn't mean to sound ungrateful!

Anyway, am awaiting a response from Stepan but sure he will be happy - and he'll tell me when to start the progesterone.Those of you who have done immune protocol, did you start steroids and Clexane on EC day or before? I think it is aspirin until EC then move to Clexane, but can't remember!

Do appreciate all your support  

Will be flying out a week tomorrow! Wonder how my donor is doing/feeling? I do hope they realise what an amazing thing they are doing and that they can change people's lives for ever  

lol
Misti xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

I've done lost of research on success stories with thin lining having Asherman's syndrome and there are pregnancies on FF of 5 mm.  I will never reach 6mm but it doesn't seem to be a problem for clinics, so you should be fine 

L


----------



## madmisti

JJ - it must be hard for you to see me moaning about my lining when you have had so many issues -sorry  . My disappointment is not with the actual thickness but with the drop from previous cycles. Have you got an idea when you'll cycle again after your good 'dummy run '?

lol
Misti x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Misti - great the the lining is looking good. Wishing you all the very best for your upcoming cycle   

Bit of a crap evening for me - just got a voice mail message from a friend of mine (couldn't get to phone as was putting niece and nephew to bed) - we haven't seen eachother for a while for various reasons but anyway she called to tell me she's pregnant. "I'm not with the father any more, it was just a brief thing"
I'm happy for her because I know she wanted to become a mum (we've talked about it many times and she knows all about my struggles to get pg/the miscarriage etc, so it was nice of her to call and tell me rather than letting me find out from someone else) but at the same time I'm also really fed up. It just feels like everyone else gets pregnant so easily except me. And hard as I try to keep on going and staying positive and somehow getting on with life and pretending it's not so bad, in reality it's bloody awful and I'm just terrified it's never going to happen for me....

Sorry girls, think I just needed to get that out - I can't bring myself to call her back. I will do, but not tonight. Need to be able to congratulate her without getting upset and I think tonight I'd struggle with that

Rather wish my counsellor was around (she's away for a month getting married) - feel like I need someone to talk to, and there isn't anyone. But since I'm flying to San Fran tomorrow it's not like I'd be able to go and see her this week anyway

Feeling really rather angry and sad this evening  
Suitcase
x


----------



## Roo67

Suity,

I know exactly how you feel, hvae had quite a few tears myself this week over work colleagues  announcing they are pregnant. I have ignored one young girl twice today, she is working nights so at least didn't have to spend the day with her, she is in her early 20's just got engaged and has been off sick since whe was 3.5 weeks !!(think they were ? ectopic at one point) I just couldn't face saying congrats or anything to her, i know I need to at some point but just can't at the mo.

What makes it worse is she has said some lovely things to me when had m/c etc so she may feel awkward around me too.

sorry that turned into a me post was meant to be about you  Suity,

R x


----------



## indekiwi

Suity, snap!  Have heard about two acquaintances over the last week (neither close friends, but not the point) who had decided to "try" for a baby and sure enough a few weeks later they were both up the duff.  One of them was complaining that she wanted to give birth in March rather than April as it interfered with her other plans and I must admit I was a trace irate.   Much as I'm pleased for both, I just wish it was so easy for all of us.  Am going to try focusing on the ironing   rather than TTC tonight - some days being infertile aches more than others and I need to remind myself that there's more to life than my non-functioning ovaries and womb.    

Roo, our posts have coincided -      .  

A-Mx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks girls, I know I'm not alone - I wish we weren't all going through this  
A-M - you're right, some days are harder than others. I've been doing really well most of the time, focusing on getting fit and enjoying life - the message from my friend just totally threw me tonight....sure I'll be OK again tomorrow 

  to us all
Suitcase
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Suity  could you text/email her and say sorry you could ring her your were babysitting and then off to San Fran.

I also found out that a woman who I only meet at a mutal friends birthdays, and we last met earlier in the year is now pregnant- but she is due in Dec and at the meal she was asking me about IVF as she was thinking that they were going down that route and she was thinking of going to the Hammersmith etc but she must have been pregnant then, but what I find frustrating is that people avoid telling me and do treat me differently.

L x


----------



## winky77

to those of us who have tough journeys.....

Suity.....nothing I can say will make it any easier I know.....and you know your self that you will be ok again by tomorrow.  Roo...same for you too.....we do have the strength! 

Lots of us have been there......I actually sat in the window seat of Cafe Nero today and indulged not just in a Cafe Latte and a cookie but had a whole hour of glaring at anyone with child who walked past.....with particular evil glares for the teenage mums, any parents smoking and loved up couples with babies!  

..winky


----------



## madmisti

Quick update from me. Donor's EC today.

Stepan said '' 9 eggs collected, 7 fertilised. Fertilsation tomorrow'  Bit confusing but I think he meant that  7 were mature, not fertilised, and I wil hear about fertilisation tomorrow.

Happy with that anyway

Lol
Misti xx


----------



## cocochanel1

Just popped on to send Suity some big hugs. I think we all understand the pain and longing when others around us seem to fall pregnant just like that. A good friend of mine who I see every day on the school run is just pregnant with her 5th (yes 5th) child. I'm surrounded by friends who have 3, 4 etc children.. I've always managed to feel happy for everyone else but I have to admit the last few months have been testing and I'm starting to avoid people too...... I think we are the only people who understand this because when I mentioned it to my Mother she said she didn't understand at all.

I'm told by those closest to me that I should accept what I have and be grateful and not long for something else....maybe they are right? I am hugely grateful for the child I have but unfortunately it doesn't stop the longing. I end up feeling terribly guilty!

Big hugs Suity and everyone else xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks Coco... 

And don't feel guilty for wanting another child - of course you're lucky - and grateful, for what you have, but that doesn't make it any easier when all around are having their 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc   

I'm feeling much better again - partly because I've been away in San Fran (a change of scene always helps), and partly because I'm always OK a few days after the news, it's just when you first hear of a pregnancy that it's hard. I refuse to avoid pregnant friends and friends with babies/children since all that does it mean I lose friendships, so instead I just work very hard on enjoying their children and hoping that one day all the experience with kids (and pregnancy 2nd hand!) will pay off when it's finally my turn  

Hugs to us all,
Suitcase
x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

PS sorry, pressed send before I managed to say great news Misti, hope all goes well with fertilisation and good luck for ET...
Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Coco and Suity,      

Misti, good luck out in Brno - I have fingers and toes crossed for you.        

A-Mx


----------



## madmisti

We have a few incredible shrinking women at the moment - well done girls! 

Update today - 5 fertilised. Was weird though cos she told me 8 collected, 6 mature - different to Stepan's email yesterday! Oh well - I'm very happy with 5  

5 day transfer is planned for Tuesday 1.30!  Still flying out tomorrow though - all booked, and want to be there in case it turns into a day 3 transfer.

Packing and getting dog and cats organsied today 

lol
Misti x


----------



## cocochanel1

Misti all the very best xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## lulumead

great news misti...see you on the 2WW, i should be proper    by then!

xx


----------



## Damelottie

Good luck Misti


----------



## Candee

Wishing you so much luck Misti      
Candee
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Misti really hope that you get to blasts have a safe trip 

L x


----------



## madmisti

Thanks everyone  

M xx


----------



## upsydaisy

Good luck Misti! 
  
I've got everything crossed for you.   
Upsyxxx


----------



## Felix42

Fab news Misti. Hope you have a safe & relaxing trip and embies continue to do very well. 

Inde, hope all is going well with your treatment too. 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## indekiwi

Misti, go the Fab Five!!!  Safe journey out to Brno.    

Felix, am waiting for some news tomorrow - all looks good so far.    

A-Mx


----------



## Felix42

Brilliant news Inde, hope it's ET soon and you get some more good news about your dad.

Love and hugs, Felix xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Fab news - Misit and Inde       
big hugs mini x x


----------



## Roo67

Great news Misti - Have a safe flight and I'll let you know when I arrive on sunday.

Indi -   for good news tomorrow


R x


----------



## madmisti

Inde - good luck cycle buddy   

Glad it's better news re your Dad too - hope they can get medication sorted so he is fighting fit soon  

lol
Misti xx


----------



## Sima

Good luck today Inde.

Misti - 5 is the magic number.  Have a safe trip and fingers crossed for transfer.


----------



## indekiwi

Hi everyone, a quick post from me but I've now heard that I have 8 fertilised eggs  .  ET will be Monday or Wednesday next week.  I'm a very relieved girlie I can tell you, and full of hope that this tx will do the trick for me.    

A-Mx


----------



## Roo67

Fantastic news Indi - i hope we are all celebrating in a couple of weeks time.

R x


----------



## ameliacooper

me too Inde (as in I hope we're celebrating at the meet in November)

Best of luck xx


----------



## Sima

Excellent news Inde.     So the 8 eggs are all for you?  Your donor did well.  Good luck for ET.


----------



## Betty-Boo

Brilliant news YAY!!!!  So so excited for you Inde!
big big hugs x x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

inde so pleased that you have some good news thise week, after all the stress.
How many eggs did you get or did all 8 fertilise?
L x


----------



## madmisti

YAY Inde - fab news   We are literally a day apart hun   Your donor must be thrilled she got a good crop for both of you!  Lots of luck   


My transfer is booked for Tuesday - day 5
Today -day 2  I have 2 x 4 cell,  2 x 3 cell and 1 x 2 cell  

Just arrived a t Pension and am settling in. Got a few days to chill and relax now before Tuesday. Looking forward to seeing Roo tomorrow  So there'll be three of us having ET with a couple of days of each other!!

lol
Misti xx


----------



## lulumead

brilliant news Inde and Misti...sending you both lots of    
xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Wow - Inde that's amazing, so the donor got 16 eggs?
Fantastic news
Good luck for transfer

Misti and Roo - hope all goes well out there in Brno, good luck to you both too   

Suitcase
x


----------



## winky77

Wow......great fertilisation rates on here !!  Good luck to Inde and Misti !!!  

lol

..Winky


----------



## Damelottie

Brilliant news Inde


----------



## Lou-Ann

Good luck to Inde, Misti and Roo for their tx this week   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## lulumead

oooh roo..forgot you were off too...sending you lots of      too.

xx


----------



## cocochanel1

wonderful Inde!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

misti and roo good luck to you both xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Candee

Just wanted to add my good wishes for all three of you, misti, inde and roo! Go for it single doublies!
Soon we will need our own single doublies 2WW!


----------



## Felix42

Good luck Roo, Inde and Misti!!!   

Love and hugs, Felix xx


----------



## muddypaws

Just popped in to say very best of luck to Misti, Inde and Roo. Things are sounding so positive.    

Muddy x


----------



## madmisti

Just waiting for text from Roo and will go and meet her off tram  

Day 3 update  2 x 8 cell,  1 x 7 cell 1 x 6 cell and 1 x 3cell. 

3 cell unliley to survive but got 2 good front runners. Just need 2 to go to blast and I'll be happy    If other 2 catch up and are good for freezing, that will be a bonus but not expecting it.

no update tomorrow as they don't grade them till day 5.

So, I'm looking forward to having them on board on Tuesday and being PUPO at last, after  the trials and tribulations of last month!

Love to all - especialy my cycle buddies  

Misti xx


----------



## lulumead

great news misti...roll on tuesday  
xx


----------



## indekiwi

Misti, fingers crossed - it's all looking pretty good!       

Roo, I am     so hard that this is your time.       

Suity, JJ1, nope, she produced more but the fert rate was extremely good and my half were all mature.  Remarkable.    But as we've all seen time after time, quantity is a bit of a red herring when it comes to getting that elusive  .

A-Mx


----------



## madmisti

Inde - number of eggs isn't always that relevant, but quality is and for so many to fertilise, they must be pretty good! 

Lovely evening with Roo - stuffed after Indian (at the place under the apartments for those that know Brno)

Go Roo's, Inde's and my embies - we want at least triplets between us       

I am feeling a bad 'mummy' today as I missed one of my boys 2nd birthday  ! Benji - seen left as a kitten, is 2 today.   

Lol
Misti xx


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

It's all happening on this thread!

Misti fab news      all the best for ET  

Inde all sounding wonderful      is ET wednesday?

Suity hoping this cycle is a lot less stressful for you  

Take care ladies,
Jovi x


----------



## Felix42

Misti, best of luck for tomorrow's transfer.  

Inde, you too. Not long now til PUPO and all looking good. 

Suity, great to hear your cycles now underway.  for a fab BFP for you at the end too.  

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## indekiwi

Just popping in to cheer on encouragement from the sidelines for Roo, Misti and Suity (wow, this cycle has really crept up!)          

As for me, I'm on track for Wednesday.  The embryologists keep raving about the donor sperm, saying it's excellent to work with...sounds like a guy I should have liked to have met in real life.  

A-Mx


----------



## madmisti

Woohoo Inde - fab news. That's Roo, me and you having ET's on consecutive days! Sounds like you could get some snow babies too - should you wish to have more babies later 

How is your dad doing?

lol
Misti x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Inde good luck for tomorrow  for you
L x


----------



## Sima

Inde - good luck for ET tomorrow.  At least you will have plenty of company on the 2ww.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

That's fab Inde, hope all goes well tomorrow   

Had my baseline scan this morning. As usual a 4 hour round trip, plus 25 mins wait as they were busy/running late and all for 2 mins with the woman who does the scans: "no cysts, lining perfect and thin" (hmm, like every time then?) and 2 mins with nurse: "donor being scanned Thursday, we'll call you then"

Now I know they have to double check every time but I have never had cysts and never had a problem with lining, and it just feels like such a wasted half a day going there and back for it. Anyway, done now. Have to wait for Thurs to find out if donor OK to go ahead....just   this cycle goes more smoothly than the last one

Suitcase
x


----------



## winky77

oooo....tis exciting on here !!  

Misti, Roo, Inde....can't believe you've all synched you 2WW so well! 

Suity.....shame about the journey but good to know you are on track....   that donor is too. 

lol

..Winky


----------



## madmisti

Suity - good to know all well even though that's what you expected etc. Got everything crossed all goes to plan this time   

Inde - good luck for tomorrow hun - how many you going to have put back?   

I now have 2 hatching blasts Grade 1 on board -very easy transfer (thankyou Marcel  ) Other three are 1 x morula grade 2 and 2 x6 cell grade 3. So not expecting frosties. I asked when I would hear and she said phone tomorrow and they will tell me. Thought I'd have to wait at least a week ! But she said they freeze them on Day 6 so they'll know by tomorrow lunchtime.

Anyway, I am very very happy - particularly after last month's fiasco. Just got to settle in for the 2ww now - planning to enjoy being PUPO as much as possible!

Lots of    for my fellow single doubles sharing the 2ww with me  

Lol
Misti xx


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Inde sending you lots of luck for tomorrow


----------



## madmisti

Inde - all the best for east ET today hun 

Roo -hope you are feeling a bit more rested today. I asked why you had paid less for rooma nd they said they had initially booked you a single but because of moving guests around, you ended up in a double but at single rate - lucky you! It was only about £3 a night difference though.

I just phoned clinic re frosties - Stepan said he is fairly sure I do have at least one, but he couldn't read the writing! So I should get an email tomorrow. He may be wrong so I am not getting too  excited just yet - but I will be thrilled if he is right. Would be lovely to have snow babies - for siblings obviously!

Just filling time before I go to airport - wish flight was earlier in the day. Just want to be home now.

lol
Misti xx


----------



## indekiwi

Misti, hope you're safely home now.    Marvellous that you have a frostie or two - always a bonus!

I had two embies transferred at noon today.  Of eight 8-cell embryos at day 3 (5 of which were grade 1), I got five blasts, but only two good enough for transfer (they were grade A so I ain't complaining  ), so no snow babies for me.  It was a surreal experience - the guy who carried out the transfer used to work at LFC (my old clinic) and was the one who advised me to go to donor eggs rather than continue with my own.  Nearly laid an egg on the spot I was so surprised!  

And can I say - gestone - OW!!!!  Stings for hours.    First time I've used it and I'm underwhelmed by the experience.  I'll be heading off shortly to watch those videos hiding somewhere on FF of women injecting themselves with this stuff.  Got the nurse to do it today.

   to all,

A-Mx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Yay Inde and Misti - fab news for our DE thread.  Roo glad to hear you're back safe and sound.

Big hugs x x 

(So jealous now -wish it was me x x)


----------



## indekiwi

Mini, just can't wait until it IS you!     

A-Mx


----------



## Roo67

Great news Indi - enjoy being PUPO 

Mini - wish you were joining us soon too - I hope the time flies by for you  

Misti - hope you are soon home again

I am shattered today - catching up with me, woke up with stinking headache so went back to bed until lunchtime. wish I wasn't going out tonight but looking forward to catching up with friend and having a lovely meal. 

R x


----------



## cocochanel1

Inde - yeah - so happy for you xxxx Re gestone - massage the spot for at least 5 mins after the injection and should not sting at all. Make sure the vial is warm - I put it in my bra on waking for a few hours. It will make all the difference and inject your behind if possible. I can honestly say that with all of the above in place it did not hurt at all xxxxxxxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Inde so thrilled that your got your embryos back- are CRM doing alternate day Gestone and cyclogest?

Misti and Roo good luck to you too
x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hope you had a good trip home Misti - now you can relax and enjoy being PUPO  

Inde - congrats on your two A grades...great news! Got everything crossed for you   
Re gestone, ice on the injection site before you inject, and warm up the liquid in your bra for 5-10 mins. I rarely get stinging or pain, just over time the site gets a bit lumpy and bruised, but actual injections not too bad if you follow those instructions  
(buttock def better than thigh by the way...not sure where you are doing it?)

Expecting clinic to call me tomorrow re donor's baseline - fingers crossed it's all go for me/her tomorrow  

Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Coco, Suity, will be following your suggestions to the letter.  The actual injection part didn't hurt, it was the after effects that had me  .  

JJ1, the protocol is cyclogest night and day starting the night before the donor's egg collection, then adding in gestone every second day starting the day of ET - so you end up taking them both, not alternating.  When I spoke to Robert Forman about CRM's use of gestone, he said that since they had started prescribing it as part of their normal protocol, pregnancy rates had risen by something like 15%.  I don't have my notes to hand at the moment, but it was certainly of that order.  Hope it works for me too - I've only got to test date once in my previous 9 cycles - and that was when I fell pregnant with poppet.  

A-Mx


----------



## Felix42

Brilliant news Inde and Misti! Sorry you're not feeling too good Roo but that could be a good sign of course.   

Inde   for the gestone but sounds like it is well worth it.

Suity, not long for you too now.    for your donor.

Mini, can't wait til it's your turn too.  

Love and hugs, Felix xx


----------



## Candee

Hey everyone! 
All seems to have been going great out in Brno!
Misti i hope you and your extra little cargo made it home safely 
Inde congratulations on your grade 1 blasties   As far as the gestone goes, I found that the warmer it was, the less it stung, so before injecting I rubbed the bottle between my hands for ages... but you probably know that hun
Roo hoping everything's going well for you 
Hi to everyone else!
Candee
x
P.S. was on the phone after typing and missed suity's post - hope the warming helps a bit and Suity, have EVERYTHING crossed for you


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Inde I wondered when I saw it written down as I had the 2 mls daily at ARGC.  Hope your dad is doing ok
Suity hope the donor is doing well for you

X


----------



## indekiwi

Quick piece of news for me - I'm spinning like a top with delight - just got a call from the clinic to say that they have decided that three of the embies were good enough to freeze after all...there were a couple that hadn't got to blast by yesterday plus one that they had initially suggested wasn't worth freezing due to its quality - I'd asked if they could hang on until the end of the day yesterday before making a call, which they did, but at that stage they still didn't think it was worth holding on to so I said to go ahead and discard it.  However, the embryologist decided in his discretion to keep all the remaining embies going overnight, with the result that the blast that hadn't moved so much yesterday is looking terrific today, and one of the other sub quality blasts plus a morula from yesterday had come on leaps and bounds.  He says that day 6 embies often don't thaw so well, but with three of them, it's worth trying.  

I had felt a bit anxious about not having a Plan B in place (sorry Lou, you got the receiving end of my collywobbles this morning!) but now I am definitely floating on  !  I must say, I am so happy with the service provided by the embryologists at CRM - from start to end they have been brilliant.

A-Mx


----------



## Candee

Inde that is brilliant news!   
Candee
x


----------



## wizard

Inde that's fantastic, so pleased you have a back-up, although you won't need it of course  .

Wizard x


----------



## Sima

Great news Inde - no wonder you are on cloud nine.


----------



## Betty-Boo

Brilliant news inde - so happy for you x x


----------



## cocochanel1

Wowee Inde this is such fabulous news! xxxx


----------



## lulumead

great news Inde.x


----------



## madmisti

Inde - YAY - so pleased for you hun  

Sadly my news is not so good - got email today and no frosties   I am really cross with Stepan for getting it wrong on the phone and giving me hope - because now I feel really down. Whereas before I wasn't expecting frosties so would have just accepted it. Given the double donor side of things, it would have been nice to know I had the possibilty of full siblings (if I get pregnant this time) or a plan B if I don't get pregnant this time. Going back for your embies frozen from a  fresh cycle is about 200 Euros and no wait - having to go for donor embies is 1000 Euros and 3-4 month wait.

Have to try and put it out of my mind I guess, and keep up the PMA for this cycle to work


ho hum
Misti xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Misti - been there and got that t-shirt .... it's just not fair is it.      I did ask for an explanation seeing as both donors were 21!! And I had left behind 2 blasts and 2 CM's ... Never did receive an explanation.... 


honey try and stay   for the embies you do have x x


----------



## Candee

Misti that is so disappointing. Especially because you were given false hope. 
As you say, best to try and concentrate on being positive about the embies in your tum now.
I am keeping everything crossed for you.
Candee


----------



## indekiwi

Misti, so sorry to read your news.      I do know how you feel, having just had 24 hours of feeling that way myself - poor Lou was on the receiving end of an emotional outpouring on just this subject.  (Sorry Lou - I'm a whinger from a long way back.  )  In my case, another cycle of DEIVF would cost close to £8k and months before I was matched - gotta love the UK.  Not that I'm complaining right now.  However, I really hope that your embies are currently nestling in comfortably with the prospect of a 40WW.  Sending huge  amounts of     that this cycle is the one.

A-Mx


----------



## Grace10704

Inde that is fab news for you!  I am so pleased & keeping everything very firmly crossed - difficult to do the washing up like this but will continue to do so until you have great news.  
Misti I'll cross the toes on the other foot for you too!!!


----------



## madmisti

Grace - don't fall over!!! Thanks for good wishes - and everyone else . It is very naughty of Stepan to make such a mistake - he should be sure before he tells you have frosties

Just at the worst possible time I had news today of a serious drop in income - to the point I won't be able to pay the mortgage   Very hard not to get stressed over it - and wonder what on earth I am going to do if I do have a child etc! Trying to sort it out -but my plans for a nice chilled out 2ww are in ruins  


Lol
Misti xx


----------



## Sima

Oh Misti - I hope you get some good news soon.  As you said it never rains but it pours but do keep your spirits up.    Good luck with figuring out what you are going to do about the work situation.


----------



## Roo67

Inde - wow fantastic news, so pleased for you

Misti - Just gutted for you, that is so unfair of S to get your hopes up like that and then to dash them so quickly, it is really a lottery out there with regards to frosties.  so sorry about your job too, but as Lou says where there is a will there is a way.

R x


----------



## Candee

Misti I hope things can sorted soon re: work - IVF is stressful enough without anymore pressures.
Sending you lots of hugs        
Candee
x


----------



## RichmondLass

oh ladies what mixed news - So pleased for you Inde and so sorry for you Misti.
xxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Inde - that's great news, very pleased for you  

Misti - sorry to hear no frosties and work troubles    Can you look into what benefits you might be entitled to? I'm sure if will all work out on the financial front 

I had the call yesterday from the clinic to say donor all good to go so I've started the little blue pills, the prednisolone and the aspirin and now we wait...this is the worst part   Am back for another scan next Thurs to check lining OK  - not sure if I will find out more about donor then or not. Hard to get excited after last time...

Suitcase
x


----------



## winky77

Oh dear....this frostie thing is such a lottery.....Inde- am so pleased your numbers came up.....and Misti commiserations yours didnt.....but neither of you will need them anyway....and Misti....something will come up on the income front....

Suity......I know it's hard to get excited but what happened last time won't happen again.....you've had more than your share of bad luck ...it is time for the tide to turn....and I'm excited for you! 

Candee.....wow that ticker is going up fast ! 

lol

..Winky


----------



## madmisti

Suity - I know exactly how you feel hun - having shared your experience of a cancelled cycle last month    I really did not believe it would happen this time - until I turned up for ET and they told me I had the blasts. But it sounds more promising donor wise this time - and you know SO many people are rooting for you on here for this to be THE  ONE   


Thanks for all your good wishes on the income front. It's complicated and I don't know if it can be resolved without losing my home. I am trying to just have faith it can be sorted    I really don't want stress hormones rushing around my blood stream    Anyone know of a rich old man with no dependents who would like to meet a fat lady possibly pregnant with twins  

These things are sent to try us.....

Inde and Roo - hope you're holding out ok   

Lol
Misti xx


----------



## RichmondLass

Ah Suity save your excitement til you're actually walking through the doors.  I don't get excited in advance about much these days due to bitter experience of life (grumpy old woman talking).  We'll get excited on your behalf!!  

RLxxx


----------



## Candee

Suity this is going to be your time     
Candee
x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks everyone for being optimistic for me  

Just hope you're right  

Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Misti, so sorry to read about the drop in your income.    Hope this is something that you can swiftly move to overcome and that your home is not at risk.       

Suity, should you wish to have the full description of your donor at this stage, you are entitled to it.  I asked for mine on ET day and received it the following day (but only because I didn't want to wait around while it was photocopied etc).  If you're on the little blue pills, then you're really on your way - sending lots of     and     that everything proceeds according to plan.  

A-Mx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Misti hope things sort themselves out... Must admit I aint looking forward to the drop in pay I'm going to have shortly... Not good.

Inde    
suity all the best honey x x

Quick update from me... rang Glasgow clinic yesterday to ask about delaying DE treatment and would they treat me when I move to Plymouth... in short the answer was no!  Really pee'd off - explained that Plymouth do not have a donor egg program.... Someone ringing me back today.....  (I know there's reprofit - but really think that last time they did not take into consideration my clotting issue - it's not a case of implantation / immune issues - before some jumps on that band wagon - its a life/death issue as I was really lucky last time).
Ah well - here's hoping that I receive some good news today - been pretty pants so far....
Mini x


----------



## Damelottie

Mini -


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Mini so sorry about the way your clinic are behaving, what are their reasons, people travel all over the country to clinics if they are fee paying pts the logistics of getting there are your problems not theirs.  Could you ring and speak to the complaints manager for an explanation?  I was once given wrong advice by a receptionist.

Take care
L x


----------



## Betty-Boo

Thanks Lou & JJ - JJ will do just that! After all they were happy to provide medical care whilst I tx'd in Czech??  Seems so strange.... if not may look at Bristol ... if anyone has experience of clinics there would love to hear from you!
Big hugs mini x x


----------



## blueytoo

Mini, I used to live near Bristol and none of the fertility clinics in Bristol will treat single women. The nearest is the Bath fertility clinic. I didn't have a good experience there though. Their counsellor has a God complex, you have to say the right things to her (which might not be what you feel/want) or else she won't pass your case through which means you don't get to have treatment there as she has to approve everyone. She questions you closely about financials, what your house is like etc 

The consultant isn't brilliant either - he has his set protocols, doesn't think patients should know anything about their tx or have any choice in it and he was rough doing the internal you have to have at your first appointment. 

They both still work there but may have improved I guess so it might be worth an appointment? However, if you were prepared to go to Glasgow from Plymouth then you might well be better off going to London. 

Good luck with making a decision.

Claire xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

JJ - good advice... have rung back and yes they will treat me even if I'm living elsewhere! YAY!!!  So all looking good - I'm now no 31 on the list and have been moved to the deferred list - which means I'll move to the top when I return to the UK!  Great news!!  Will have to re-think about the wigglies as they are in Czech at the mo.  (Might import more but from xytec or see if GCRM have any active donors)
A big weight has been lifted as can still come under Prof Greer.

Thanks for all the advice and support x


----------



## Roo67

Thats great news Mini  - must be a great relief knowing that you will get the expert care when you are ready to start again.

I see from ** that you are going earlier - will have to see if can meet up before you move.

r x


----------



## madmisti

That's good news Mini - I hope you complained about the wrong advice you were initially given  When are you now leaving for Falklands? Is it still for 6 months so that means you'll be back sooner too

lol
Misti x


----------



## Betty-Boo

Only going a few weeks early - but it does have a great impact on outstanding leave - which has to be taken before I go - and the fact that I'm supposed to get 5 months notice (more like 4... someone's   up there).
Didn't bother having a go - was so happy that glasgow are going to treat me ... more inclined to try there next time instead of reprofit - nothing against repro but think that duty of care ref factor v will be a bit better.  
How are you all??  Inde - Roo and Misti        for you x x 
Suity not long honey x x


----------



## Candee

mini i am so pleased you can be treated in Glasgow    
Candee
x


----------



## madmisti

Not looking good for me - started bleeding tonight- fresh blood.Have emailed Stepan and stopped  Fragmin  but not hopeful    Devastaed. Really don't know where I go from here with financial situation -maybe nowhere. 

M x


----------



## indekiwi

Misti, noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....             

Clearly things are very difficult financially at present....but things can change over time, and with donor eggs, you don't need to wave good bye to this particular dream in the same way as if you were only interested in cycling with your own eggs.  What is happening today or this week or this month does not necessarily represent the next several months or year or two.  However, sending lots of love and     to you tonight - I so hope it's not all over for you - too devastating for words.   

A-Mx


----------



## lulumead

sorry not posted much so already feeling out of touch after about 2 days!!!

Misti: sending    

suity:  hope you are doing ok...when's it all happening. I so so so so hope this is the one for you.  My friend is pregnant with a donor egg baby at 45 after much trial and tribulations!  Its worked on the second go...so positive thinking as I am sure sure sure that you will have a little bubba soon.

xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks Lulu, going OK

Just been to clinic for lining scan this morning - 4 hour round trip to spend under 10 mins in clinic and be told I have a textbook lining and could have transfer today - shame the donor has only been stimming since Saturday! I am supposed to go back next Weds but shall wait and see how donor is doing Monday - she is in for a scan and that will be 10 days, so if things not looking good I won't bother. After last cancellation I am not trekking all the way to London for another scan on my already perfect lining unless it looks like she's going to produce enough eggs. So fingers crossed....if all goes well I'm guessing ET w/c 16th Nov. Just   not the 17th as I'm running a huge workshop at work and only being dead would be a sufficient excuse for not being there....always so complicated juggling with work  

Misti - hope you are hanging in there and that no news is good news. 

Inde - not long now - sending   

Suitcase
x


----------



## lulumead

Work stress is always a tricky one.  Really hope timings work out...at least its good to know that lining doing well so you're ready when they are. Are they going to do 5 day transfer?
I suppose you can try and not think about it til monday...yeah right...like its that easy  

xxx


----------



## madmisti

Suity - everything crossed for  you hun.   

I have posted my update on 2ww thread  

lol
Misti xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Saw your update Misti - got everything crossed for you that it works out  

Lulu - not sure if we'll do 5 day transfer, guess it depends on how many eggs, how many fertilise and how they develop...
Am off tomorrow and Monday and going up to stay with an old friend in Derbyshire so hopefully will be sufficiently distracted until Monday  

Suitcase
x


----------



## Candee

misti have pmed you, but keep thinking positive!    
Suity, it all sounds good    and I hope it works out re: work! 
Hi to Inde, Rose, Roo, Lulu, Mini, Feisty, LadyLottie and Richmond Lass and all
the single-doublies!      
Candee
x


----------



## cocochanel1

Suity, that all sounds great! Keeping everything crossed for you for a successful cycle xxxxxxxx


----------



## madmisti

OMG

[fly]   [/fly]

HCG came back at 124 

I cannot believe it - I really can't . Still very nervous at it feels SO fragile. Will have repeat test Monday Just  numbers are rising.

Hoping and praying my double donor cycle buddies Roo and Inde make it 3/3    

Thank you to everyone for all your support and PMA - it has been a tough few weeks with the cancelled cycle etc and it has meant a lot to have you rooting for me 

Lol
Misti xx


----------



## Candee

Wehey Misti! Fantastic news!


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Misiti I am thrilled for you congratulations
L x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Posted on 2WW thread but always good to say it twice - CONGRATULATIONS Misti   
And Roo   
And Inde   

Have to confess I'm feeling a little low today. Had a good weekend away with friends up in Derbyshire but as always am reminded of what I don't have (she and her other half have 2 kids - 4 and  

Coupled with that my youngest sister told me the other week that she is now in a pretty serious relationship - she's been keeping it quiet because she wasn't sure it was going to work out but all now seems to be going well and she's intending to introduce him to the family soon. Now of course I'm really really pleased for her, but I also have to confess that I feel envious, and it also kind of feels like as long as she and I were both single it was sort of OK, but now I'm the only hopeless freak who can't find a partner....

And all these recent BFPs are fantastic but instead of making me feel like there is hope for me too, I just feel like there is even less likelihood that I'll end up with my much wanted baby. Please don't think I'm not happy for you all - I really am, but I guess I feel that there are a finite number of BFPs out there and the more we get, the less there are for me. Not sure if that came out right, but I suppose I mean that there are statistics to show that a certain number of women will remain childless, and the way the stats are going at the moment, it seems like I'll be one of them. I don't think I'm making much sense here, sorry, I just feel really low about it all at the moment (NOT about you guys getting positives, I feel SUPER HAPPY about that, just feel low about/for me)  

Hmm, think I need some PMA from somewhere....on the positive side I am currently wearing my new size 12 jeans - don't think I've been a size 12 since I was about 14! Weighed myself at my friends at the weekend (don't have any scales myself) and it appears I have lost nearly 3 stone and my BMI is well within the normal range. So got to be chuffed about that. Even if the rest of my life is a mess, at least I can be thinner than I've ever been...

Sorry for the whinge girls, hope to be back to my more positive self soon - especially as we've got the get together coming up next weekend and I don't want to come and be a grump!

Suitcase
x


----------



## Roo67

suitcase - glad you had a god weekend away.

I know exactly what you mean about there being a finite number of BFP's out there i feel exactly the same, i know i have just got one, but it is so fragile at the moment and don't really feel hopeful that it will continue (only time will tell) i can totally understand about your sister too    and I really hope that this is the cycle for you. have you heard how your donor is doing ?

Fantastic new on the weight loss - I think I bypassed size 12  can't remember ever having any.

R x


----------



## Candee

Suity you must stay positive! The percentage chance of pregnancy with a double donor is very high and you are going to an excellent clinic! You are going to be fine and you *are* going to be a mummy and deep down you know it        ^hugme
Sending you lots and lots of positive vibes:-


----------



## indekiwi

Suity, hmmnn, hopeless freaks are we?  Just remember mate, those reading posts on this board are almost ALL wearing your shoes (though sadly for me, not your size 12 jeans.  ) Frankly, there are oodles of married types out there that more fit that description than you do.      As someone told me a long time ago when I felt very similar to the way you sound now, you don't know what (or who) is around the corner, waiting to meet you.    

As for the "finite" amount of BFPs out there...you may well be right, in the sense that a lot of people give up or are unable to continue after a couple of cycles of tx, or do not change their approach in order to find a better likelihood of success.  All of those many people also make up the stats.  You are not one of them.  Not yet, in any case.  You have also had a BFP in the past, so it's not like your body doesn't know what to do.    Donor egg IVF provides no guarantee of success for sure - and as you already know, this is not the first cycle of DEIVF for the three people announcing BFPs this week.  However, I do think they even up the playing field...

Not sure if that provides the requisite amount of PMA to make you feel any better at all, and in fact you might be   at what I've written, but even if you disregard all I've written, please accept my fervent wishes that this next cycle of tx for you is the last for some time as you battle to stay in your size 12s because of a burgeoning bump and lots of     while you feel so low.  

A-Mx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks girls for the PMA  

Roo -   I can't really imagine how scary it is right now. I know if I get another BFP I'll be terrified of another m/c too, but you've been through so much and this is so well deserved, I'm just really   this is the sticky one for you

Inde - oops, was just feeling a bit sorry for myself and wallowing in some self pity for a moment there....I definitely wasn't implying that any of you lovely girls are "hopeless freaks who can't find a partner" (that remark was directed solely at myself) - hope I haven't offended anyone  
Guess I just felt as long as both me and one of my sisters were single, then at least the pressure wasn't solely on me...and now she's found herself a fella I just feel like I'm the one who has 'failed' in some way. Doesn't help that I am the oldest and thus traditionally should have been married off long ago...Am also terrified that my sister will start trying for kids (she's 37 next year) and quickly succeed. And again, although I wouldn't wish this awful curse of infertility on anyone, I'm going to find it really hard if both my sisters turn out to be able to pop out a family in 5 mins flat when I'm still trying...
Gosh, I sound like a horrid whinger today, I hate being like this. I don't want to be envious of my sisters, and I don't want to be so self pitying...need to get a grip!

And just to say once again, I'm SO VERY HAPPY for our recent round of BFPs, I know none of them have come easily and I'm 100% behind you all for healthy and happy pregnancies.....just need to wallow a bit myself for a day or two I think....will be back on form again soon I'm sure

Suitcase
x

PS no news from donor - am due back in Weds for a scan so shall ring tomorrow to make sure she is responding OK to stimms - don't want to trek all the way to LWC and back on Weds am if she's not....especially as lining was already fine last week and I have to be at Heathrow Weds pm for a flight to Helsinki so it's all going to be a bit of a rush as it is


----------



## indekiwi

Hey Suity, no offence taken!  I have full confidence I'm not a hopeless freak - hopelessly choosy is another story!    I would prefer to believe the same for you - and hopefully in a few days time, that so will you.   

A-Mx


----------



## RichmondLass

Suity - I'm not ignoring your current low mood but just had to say WELL DONE on the weight loss! I can't remember the last time I saw size 12 - I was about 21 - and thats a bloody good start this potential pregnancy I'd say cos youll feel fab and healthy and energetic.  Unlike me - I'm resembling a beached whale!

Enjoy enjoy enjoy the size 12 jeans and treat yourself to one or two other fabulous items while you're on your travels maybe??

RLxxx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Suity - its great isn't it to be in the 'normal' range - what ever that is!!        
Do think it depends on build too.... Loving the size 10/12 stuff!!  Apart from the fact still go to the size 16 rail!!  Must admit - does seem strange for me to lose it in order to put on a fab pregnancy bump!!

RL - would love to be the size of a whale and pregnant!!  

Big hugs Suity for your tx            Hope you get some news soon x


----------



## kylecat

Sorry you are feeling so low Suity. Hope there is some good news about your donor soon. 

Thinking of you

Kylecat xxx


----------



## madmisti

Suity - Inde has said it all so eloquently already hun - and nobody is going to feel offended by the hopeless freak bit - we know you are expressing how you feel, and we've all been there.  It must be hard to have even one sister who has the stereotypical 'normal' family life, and so it is understandable that the prospect of another one entering that realm kicks up a lot of feeligns for you. But what you are not taking into account is the incredibly resourceful, determined and courageous woman you are to not be hiding your head in the sand, hoping that the white knight will come alone, get you pregnant and you all live happily ever after , but striding out, making tough decisions, reaching for  the part of the dream you can try for. And this will mean you have qualities as a mother that your sisters probably don't/won't.  Soon, you'll be celebrating your own BFP and all of this will be forgotten    As for there being a 'finite' number of BFPs to be had, I know it can feel like that, but the women on FF are not the only ones TTC so we are not a representative sample!!  We've sometimes had terrible runs of BFN's - no  reason why we can't continue the roll of BFP's   

Roo - I understand your terror -I feel it myself and I have not  experienced m/c. I hope that the next week flies by - your beta results are good tomorrow- and that once you've had a positive scan, you can begin to relax a bit.

Inde - you got over the shock yet

I got my repeat beta today and all seems well  

Claire - how are you feeling hun? - not long now!!

Lol
Leanne xx


----------



## RichmondLass

Mini - sadly the whale impersonation is me and not the babster.  I wish i'd slimmed down to a size 12 before i got lucky basically!

RLxx


----------



## Betty-Boo

RL - am sure you look positively beautiful!!  Blooming!!

Misit fab news renumbers.

It's all such positive news on here!!  Give me great hope when I finally get round to having next go.

Big hugs x x


----------



## Damelottie

Cem - DFET does feel very easy in terms of the drugs etc doesn't it? Quite nice  

Suity -


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks for all the hugs and thoughts folks. 

Not sure if I feel better today or not as have barely had time to think. Back to back meetings all day followed by evening class, just got home. Tomorrow up at 6.30am for 9am scan at clinic, then home for a couple of hours and then due at airport at 2.30pm for 4pm flight to Helsinki for 2 more days of non stop meetings....

Clinic said donor responding well and I should def come in for scan but no more details until tomorrow pm when she will be scanned again. 
I have started to get freaked out about not doing ivig or intralipids this cycle - there's been quite a discussion on the IVF thread re the need to do this if you have high NK cells, which I do. Keep wondering if I'm stupid to pay £7K for donor egg cycle and then not spend the extra on the immune tx when I know I have high CD56...
SO, have booked a call with Dr Gorgy tomorrow to ask his opinion. Might be too late for this cycle as donor on day 10 already tomorrow (and seem to recall last time I had it on days 5  and 9) but maybe it's better late than not at all with this sort of thing. That said, earliest I can get in for any tx would be next Tues which would be already very close to ET I would imagine...

All very stressful and not really sure how I feel as all being done in a bit of a rush. Perhaps I should just try not to think about it, but so many people saying if you have immune issues you won't succeed without the immune tx has got me worried  

Ugh, need to pack for Helsinki and get some sleep, let's see what happens tomorrow
Suitcase
x


----------



## Felix42

Suity, great to hear your donor is responding well. Sorry tho that you are worrying about ivig etc. I guess if after having your consult tomorrow you think you should have ivig, you could always freeze your embies and plan for ivig next cycle or if there are enough embies, do a fresh cycle without ivig and have frosties just in case.  for your donor continuing to do well and for things to be clearer. 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

What a stressful morning....scan at LWC (all Ok - lining 9mm and 'lovely' texture!), then went to see Dr Gorgy who said with my very high CD56 I really need ivig so sat there for 2 hours being infused all the time clock watching as flying to Helsinki later. Then on train on way to Woking to pick up car and head to mums/then airport, LWC call to say donor is ahead of schedule, has 20 follies, EC Friday. ET either Sat, Mon or Weds depending on how many eggs fertilise and how they develop. AGHHH! I was expecting EC Monday with ET mid-end next week and now it's all happening really fast...
Was supposed to go back for intrallipids Sat am but am guessing now too close to ET to do that, need to call Dr G back later and check on that

Need to start gestone Fri night, and clexane. And pysch myself up for all this again
Feeling rather pressured at the moment. And worried that even though she's got 20 follies I won't get enough good eggs...think I'm still scarred from last cycle cancellation at last minute

Oh well, shouldn't be complaining I suppose, better that it's all go ahead than not at all....
Hope all are well, 
Suitcase
x


----------



## wizard

Oh my suitcase, how stressful.  It's great news about the donor's response though, even if it does play havoc with the timings for you.  20 follies is great, no reason at the moment to think you won't get enough.  I have everything crossed for you.

Wizard x


----------



## madmisti

Suity - goodness!! Hope all the timings work out ok hun. Completely understand your fears though - as a fellow 'cancelled cycle' in September, I found it hard to really believe it would go ahead the next time - right up until ET. Even though everything is going well with your donor this time, it is hard to truly have faith al wil be well. But it will, and very soon you will be PUPO!!!

Wizard -LOVE the can pic    Thank you for sharing 

lol
Misti xx


----------



## winky77

Hey girls...

Suity...wot a day eh!  But so glad you got the opportunity to do the IVIG.....I know it was playing on your mind and the verdict on my situation this week can't have helped your anxiety levels so sorry about that....then again when you get your BFP I will be very happy I've been harping on about immunity!  I am sure with 20 follies your donor will produce enough eggs and so have embies for a 3 or 5 day transfer and you'll get to do your Intrallipids on saturday.  And even if you don't the IVIG will be working its stuff and you can do intrallipids once you get your BFP.  Can I ask why it is once of each?  Why not 2 x intrallipids?  

ooo heck....tis my stn.....got to go.back lat


----------



## Roo67

Suity - what a day, I hope you are now safely in Helsinki, as the others have said, 20follies should produce lots of lovely eggies for you

Will be thinking of you, don't envy you all those injections again..

R xx


----------



## indekiwi

Wow, Suity, that's a day you won't forget in a hurry!    Sounds like you have an excellent chance of getting a good number of eggs from your donor    .  Despite the very busy day today, it seems you have managed to cover all the bases in terms of preparation and drug protocol, no mean feat.  I hope you get some uplifting news come Friday.       

A-Mx


----------



## RichmondLass

Suity how exciting!!!!  It's all happening!!  Hope the trip goes well and the time whizzes by and you are lying on your bak with your legs in t he air - in the nicest possible way of course - as soon as possible!!
RLxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

suity what a day  i am a nightmare if I have a plan and schedule in my head and then it changes!! Wishing lots of luck 20 follies is fab
L x


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

All the best Suity       What a day!  So glad your donor has responded so well, this time next week you'll be PUPO  

JJ1 I can relate, I'm not good when things don't go to my imagined plan!

Jovi x


----------



## lulumead

hope all gets sorted out Suity, all sounding good. Looking forward to this being your time.   
xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Finally a bit of good news from me (was starting to think this week was turning into another disaster)....24 eggs collected this morning, so 12 each
They will call tomorrow to let me know how many fertilised, so not out of the woods yet, but certainly looking like 3 day transfer on Monday, or may even go to blasts and Weds depending on how many fertilise/how good the embies are....

Keep your fingers crossed for me  

Ugh, gestone and clexane start tonight  

Suitcase
x


----------



## Roo67

Fantastic news Suity - I'm keeping everything crossed for you 

R x


----------



## indekiwi

OMG Suity what an absolute haul!      Fingers crossed that lots of them are mature and they fertilise spectacularly well.     .

A-Mx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks girls, struggling a lot to concentrate today after the stress of last night (see separate post) and then no sleep pretty much, and now in stupid workshop with colleague I could do with not seeing today etc etc
But at least one bit of good news to brighten my day   Just got to hope it's quality as well as quantity....  

Roo - I texted hun    

Suitcase
x


----------



## wizard

Great news suitcase, so pleased for you.

Wizard x


----------



## lulumead

all sounding good suity.x


----------



## madmisti

Suity - wow that is an amazing number for egg share - 4 more than I get from egg donor not sharing!  Hope those  wrigglies do theri stuff and you get a good fert rate     Sorry to hear about other stresses    

lol
Misti xx


----------



## RichmondLass

Suits that is so fantastic I'm over the moon for you!  What a crop!  let's hope you get some top quality embies plus a horde to freeze!! 

RLxxx


----------



## Felix42

Suity, that's such brilliant news. So very pleased for you. May the good luck long continue for you. You deserve it. Really sorry to hear about the shenanigins last night. That can't have been easy with everything else you have on at the moment. Good for you tho. 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## Candee

Suity that is brilliant! 28 is fantastic! All steam ahead hun!
Candee
x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Suity thats great news  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## cocochanel1

Suity, wow that sound great! You couldn't have hoped for better.
I can hear the wind howling. Hope weather not too bad tomorrow xxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Wow suity some great news!!
L x


----------



## Sima

Great result Suity, that truly is a fantastic number. All the best for tomorrow.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

quick update from me today - of the 12 eggs 11 were good for ICSI and 10 fertilised so got 10 embies and very happy with that. Egg share has resulted in more embies than I got myxelf on last cycle! 
Transfer Mon or Weds depending on quality
So all good here, love to all, look forward to seeing a few of you later  

Suitcase
x


----------



## Roo67

Fantastic suity - Have a safe journey and a lovely time today 

R x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

great news suity re you in the middle of IVIG?  Hopefully you'll have some siblings there too
Xx


----------



## Felix42

Fab news Suity. 

Love and hugs, Felix xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

intrallipids today JJ ....drip finishe ages ago but Dr G is in with a patient so stuck here until he comes to remove it. He needs to get a nurse here to help out really. will be late for lunch


----------



## blueytoo

Suity - fab news on embies, that is an amazing fertilisation rate! As for Dr G   I may be going to him for my tests but that is it after that, I am getting Healthcare at Home to do my IViG's/Intralipids and will be doing my own decision on what drugs to take based on the results. I've read so many little things now about the way he runs everything post getting the tests done that I'm a bit horrified  

I hope he gets that canula out soon!


----------



## Lou-Ann

Suity, again that's great news re embies. Good luck for ET this week.

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Candee

Suity that is a brilliant number of embies!
Everything crossed for you


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Suity next time take it out yourself take cotton wool and your sharps bin with you -if he doesn't have a nurse with ivig how do they monitor you and do your blood pressure and pulse during the infusions how would they moniotor if someone was reacting?and if the fluid has finished does he tell you all to clamp the lines and wait for him Partnership and self care I guess!!!! 
Hope you all had a great meet x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

JJ - having watched canulas being removed a few times I'm sure I could do it myself! The receptionist does the blood pressure and keeps an eye on people but I don't think she is trained to remove the canulas etc...

Dr G is usually very good, I think he was just overbooked due to him going away for a week today....he wanted to fit everyone in before he went. 
I'm just impatient and hate sitting around so I find it really hard having to wait - even with a good book (didn't help that I wanted to get going to Bicester for the meet too!)

Suitcase
x


----------



## Betty-Boo

Suity all the best for transfer... x x x


----------



## acrazywench

Suity that's fab news on the embies. Lots of    for Monday/Wednesday.

x


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Suity brilliant news    Good luck for transfer, nearly PUPO


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Suity best of luck is ET mon or are you going for blasts?


----------



## suitcase of dreams

waiting for the clinic to call now JJ - personally hoping to go to blast and have transfer Weds but will take advice of embryologist....

will be back later when I've spoken to them
Suitcase
x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

hmm, ended up having to ring them because they didn't call me (not happy about that after all the communication issues last time round...)
it seems we cannot go to blast so have to go in today for transfer. am very disappointed as was sure with 10 embies we could do 5 day   

I know I'm probably sounding very ungrateful as having 10 embies is a good thing anyway, but just feels like this is a bad sign
waiting to talk to embryologist (as usual the nurses can't tell you anything) but meantime have to head up to London for transfer

Sorry to sound like a whinger when even getting to transfer should be a good thing but just really wanted to get to blast as chances of success better then....

Suitcase
x


----------



## Violet66

Suity, don't worry too much about the blasts. 

I had blast transfer (which didn't work) and now really wish I had 3 day instead as the clinic I used seem to have far better results with this.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

I know I'm being silly but just really thought better chance with blasts. Spoke to embryologist and she does not think the remaining ones will make it to blast either as not good enoough.Am worried this is bad sign re egg quality. plan to ask how donors embies developed to see if similar pattern or whether maybe sperm issue. 
Sorry I know I sound unreasonably ungrateful but I just so desparately want this to work....

Suitcase
x


----------



## Violet66

No, you don't sound ungrateful. You are investing a lot emotionally and financially and you should have all the answers you need in order to feel happy.


----------



## cocochanel1

Hi Suity, thinking of you. I hope the embryologists can give you some reassuring news. All the best for the transfer today. Love Coco xxx


----------



## RichmondLass

Suity fingers crossed for you and hope all goes well.  I'm not sure I know the difference between embies and blasts but I think mine were transferred on day three.  Hope to high heaven it works for you, I really, really do!
RLxxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Well two embies on board now. Both grade 2 so feeling a bit disappointed after such a promising start. Consultant says results very similar for grades 1 and 2 and to stay positive. But with no frosties it all feels very precarious indeed. According to embryologist donor had similar results with her half of the eggs so not a sperm issue. Am worried its a bad sign re egg quality. Know I should be happy to be PUPO but just feel a bit flat :-( 
Sorry to be such a whinger
Suitcase
x


----------



## RichmondLass

Suity - keep your chin up.  These two might be as good as any other regardless of overall quality.  Are you going straight home to put your feet up? Hope so! 
RLx


----------



## madmisti

Suity - it's understandbale you feel a bit flat and uncertain etc - you always hope that everything will be 100% as you want it. But there are lots of women on here who are pregnant or mums after a Day 3 transfer. On one of my trips to Reprofit I met GuitarAngel who was having DEIVF and was gutted to have to have a day 3 transfer ( especially as they 'guarantee' 2 blasts there) but she now has 6 month old twins from that transfer. Also Loubi had a Day 1 or 2 transfer of something like 4 cell and 6 cell and not Grade 1, and she is expecting. Plus, the Grading system has been shown to be less valuable since CGH which has shown that what look like Grade 1 can actually be more genetically abnormal than Grade 3 etc.  So try not to fret too much.

The main thing is you are PUPO. I hope the 2ww is not too hard and goes quickly. Good luck hun     

Take care
lol
Misti xx


----------



## lulumead

suity, don't feel low (although totally understandable)...I have begun to place absolutely no importance on the gradings and which day to transfer. How many people on here have had perfect blasts transferred and nada! and then the supposedly dodgy ones end up making it....there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it all and we have all been sold the line that blasts work! we know that is not necessarily the case.
We are all hoping that these two are the lucky ones that go on to make you a lovely baby (or two!).
xxxxx


----------



## cocochanel1

Hi Suity, Lulu is absolutely right - you stand just as good a chance try not to worry xxx


----------



## blueytoo

Suity - I am not going to tell to not be low or disappointed or that grade 2 can lead to pg too, I am just going to say I know exactly how you feel and you are completely entitled to feel that disappointment    

I am a bit stunned that they wouldn't let you go to blast with that many embryos, particularly when its been shown that the worse day 3 embies often make it to be the best grade blasts. 

I'm thinking of you and keeping everything crossed      

Claire xx


----------



## Candee

Suity can I echo what the others have said - keep positive - there are loads of women who get pregnant on three day embies.
Rest up and think positive thoughts.
We are all behind you and willing you on.
Love
Candee
x


----------



## Roo67

Suity - congrats on being PUPO, as the others have said there are plenty of ladies that have poorer quality embies transferred on day 3 and they go on to have BFP's really hoping and   that this is the case for you

  

R x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks all. I know it can work with 3 day grade 2 embies I guess I am just worried that from so many embies to only get a few grade 2 is indicative of problems  - I partic feel this beause that was my own personal experience. However must remember donor is ten + yrs younger than me....
What will be will be - all I can do now is wait....
Seeing my counsellor shortly so that will help I'm sure, and then a nice relaxing evening
thanks for all your good wishes
Suitcase
x


----------



## winky77

Suity     

Congrats on reaching the PUPO stage....and     for the next few hurdles......

your reaction is totally valid....I'd be disappointed too... but as you said 'what will be will be' ...

         

..Winky


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Suity I can comment on ifs and buts etc just wanted to wish you and your embryos lots of


----------



## indekiwi

Suity, I'd be disappointed too...not because it can't work with day 3 embies, but because with donor eggs, regardless of how one tries to keep feet firmly glued to the floor, you naturally are hoping for five day top quality blasts after all the disappointments of using own eggs without success and the price tag attached to DE treatment.  So     when you're feeling so flat post tx.  Still, two on board and every chance that these will take and that you will be reporting success in a couple of weeks - sending lots of love and positive thoughts to you and your embies -        

A-Mx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks again girls

Saw my counsellor this evening which helped a bit - at least in having someone to talk to face to face about it all....all I can do now is wait and see....

Going to be a tough 2 weeks I think   

I have never wanted anything so much in my entire life and for some reason it's even harder this time (perhaps because now I'm on to DE I feel like I'm rapidly approaching my 'last chance') and it's so difficult feeling like I have no control at all over the outcome now

It's been an emotional few days for several reasons (had a good chat with my counsellor about 'that' as well  ) and I think I prob just need some rest. Will try to take it easy this week,
Suitcase
x


----------



## Roo67

Suity  -      ~you sound as though you need them

R x


----------



## RichmondLass

Suits           
RLx


----------



## Felix42

Suity, sending you lots of     and even more    for a BFP PUPO lady.

Love and hugs, Felix xx


----------



## sohocat

Hi,
I just found this website, and I have read every post I think twice on it.  I love this site!  So inspiriational and I relate to everyone.  I don't feel so alone now!  I wish this site was longer!  
My story is that  I have to do egg donor and was hoping not to (but I have to) do sperm donor.  I ordered my sperm last week which was hard because I was hoping my exboyfriend would but he didn't.  We went out for 7 years, and I wanted to get married and have a family and I trusted him, but he wouldn't do any of this in the end, and now it is too late.  So I am 45 and jhaving to do egg donor-I always wanted children.  I am going to Reprofit in December from the 7-15.  Please wish me lots of luck.  I am single and feel so alone in all of this.  It's not like I can tell a lot of people about this.  
Love to all.


----------



## Violet66

Sohocat - good luck with your first cycle. 

It is tough doing it alone, but we're all in the same boat and can support one another. I also had treatment (unsuccessful unfortunately) with donor egg and donor sperm. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact they were not my eggs and that I would have no genetic link to the child - but once I had made the decision to go ahead it bothered me less and less - now it doesn't concern me in the least. i just want a healthy baby. 

I haven't been to Reprofit but i know it is very highly regarded on here. Wishing you well


----------



## Betty-Boo

Soho        
Violet honey   sorry to read your news.
Suity -       thinking of you x


----------



## madmisti

Violet - so sorry hun  

Sohocat - good luck   

Suity - one day less to go  

I am very happy and mightily relieved to be able to report that all was well on scan today - gestational sac and yolk sac seen    I am 5 weeks 5 days and that is what they expected. I will be scanned again in 2 weeks.

It all feels MUCH more real now!

And just to reassure anyone who needs it, when you get a BFP with donor egsg and sperm, see the scan etc, you don't even think about the whole donor egg thing. That is your baby. I can honestly say it hasn't crosssed my mind once  

lol
Misti xx


----------



## blueytoo

Misti - I am so pleased for you hun and how fantastic that the scan went well and you saw your little one! Only 35 weeks to go until you're holding your precious little one!  

Claire xx


----------



## Candee

Brilliant Misti!
Candee
x


----------



## Betty-Boo

Fab news Misti x x


----------



## cocochanel1

Suity, thought you would like to see this post from SIRM:

'Actually the pregnancy and delivery rates are the same form day 3 and day 5 transfer. The multiple rate is higher from day 3 ET. I choose the transfer day on a case by case basis depending on the number and quality of embryos available. We do grade our embryos more rigorously than other centers and may have a better predictability of who is good on day 3 than others. If there are few good ones on day 3, I would usually transfer day 3. If there are too many good ones to choose from, I would probably push out to day 5 in the hope of weeding out some of the abnormals who look good'

Sounds positive to me for you re 3 day transfer.
Coco xxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Great news Misti  

Thanks Coco - to be honest have not even had a minute to think about it today. Got to work, switched on laptop and got black screen with "fatal disk error" message. Then my boss asked for a 40 page presentation for 9am tomorrow so had to drop everything to work on that with a colleague. Finally got replacement laptop at 4.30pm, finished presentation at 6.45pm, went straight to sign lang class. Got home at 10pm and now have 200 page presentation (different one!) to review and comment on before tomorrow morning so going to be a late night and 3 vs 5 day has been rather far from my mind! But is good to hear....

Hope BFPs are not affected by stress and rushing around because my planned quiet week is turning out to be anything but   At least not travelling though so that's one bonus...

Better get on or presentation will never get reviewed
Hoping for quieter day tomorrow,
Suitcase
x


----------



## Felix42

Sohocat, wishing you lots of   for your upcoming cycle.  Do pop over to our Abroadies thread if you've done so so far.  I hope you will start to feel less alone soon. 

Suity, goodness what a day that sounds.  At least you will have kept busy and that's another day down before your BFP. 

Misti, brilliant news re your scan!   for your next scan and feeling lots better from the MS soon.

Love and hugs to all DDs, Felix xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

felix fab scan pic of your LO
L x


----------



## Betty-Boo

Jj - isn't it just!!!  It's fab Felix - really clear x x


----------



## Felix42

Thanks JJ & Mini. The plus side of all the scan worry was that the sonographer in Fetal Medecine was a scanning magician!

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## winky77

Ah Felix...the pic of LO is amazing ! 

Sohocat....welcome to the singlies thread....we've 'met' on the Reprofit Nov/Dec thread but I know I miss you out there by a couple of days which is a shame as it's always good to have other singlies to hang out with in addition to the couples! 

Suity     for you  and    for your work pressures! 


Cozy posted the following extract on the Reprofit Nov/Dec thread which I really like.....thought I'd share it here.....


"“Women who give birth to donor egg babies are the biological moms”

“Perhaps the greatest myth surrounds pregnancy. Many believe the uterus is simply an incubator. Nothing could be further from the truth. The most important aspect of all pregnancies- including egg donation pregnancies- is that as the fetus grows, every cell in the developing body is built out of the pregnant mother’s body. Tissue from her uterine lining will contribute to the formation of the placenta, which will link her and her child. The fetus will use her body’s protein, then she will replace it. The fetus uses her sugars, calcium, nitrates, and fluids, and she will replace them. So, if you think of your dream child as your dream house, the genes provide merely a basic blueprint, the biological mother takes care of all the materials and construction, from the foundation right on up to the light fixtures. So, although her husband’s aunt Sara or the donor’s grandfather may have genetically programmed the shape of the new baby’s earlobe, the earlobe itself is the pregnant woman’s “flesh and blood.” That means the earlobe, along with the baby herself, grew from the recipient’s body. That is why she is the child’s biological mother. That is why this child is her biological child.”  

Taken from a booklet published by Freedom Pharmacy


..Winky77


----------



## cocochanel1

Winky that is gorgeous. Thanks for posting. My Consultant said this too.
xx


----------



## sohocat

Everyone thanks for the nice welcome!    

Winky-I know, I am so disappointed we can't meet up!  My ex is actually coming with me, so I am not alone which is good because I've never been there before.  I am thinking of you and wish you the best!  

Jean


----------



## RichmondLass

Suity - my 2ww was quite stressful and busy at times, including dressing up as a referee with a pink wig the night before OTD  and carrying large platters of food and cases of wine up two flights on stairs then running around like a mad thing decorating and heating up food and taking piccies.  So definitely a good idea not to over do it, but I did over do it and all turned out well!

Felix - lovely scan pic!

Soho - welcome!

Winky - that's a nice description - we are biological mums then.

RLxx


----------



## muddypaws

Winky, that's lovely.  

Felix, fab pic - it's so exciting! 

Muddy


----------



## indekiwi

Scan went really well - one strong heartbeat seen on screen.  Happy girl!

A-Mx


----------



## Violet66

Lovely news Inde - really pleased for you


----------



## cocochanel1

As per text woweeeeeeeeeee! Very exciting Inde. So happy for you xxx


----------



## ameliacooper

Fab news Inde .... I bet you are ecstatic

Axx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Brilliant news inde!!! So excited for you x x


----------



## kylecat

Brilliant news Inde - very happy for you!  

Love
Kylecat xxx


----------



## Roo67

Fantastic news xx


----------



## RichmondLass

So fab Inde x


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Brilliant news Inde  

Congratulations!

Jovi x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Inde that is fantastic news, did you go back to CRM for the scan or locally?  Here's hoping you have a healthy and happy pregnancy here on
L x


----------



## Candee

Yay Inde!        
Candee
x


----------



## indekiwi

Thanks everyone.  I really am just so chuffed.  Might even put up a ticker if I can figure it out.    Maybe not tonight - am supposed to be producing a client report before heading to bed but here I am, typing away on FF.... 

JJ1, I went back up to CRM - £130 for a scan - Ouch!  Unfortunately, I heard my donor wasn't successful on this attempt   and I really hope that she and her DH got some frosties for another go.  

A-Mx


----------



## Felix42

Inde, brilliant news hun. 

So sorry to hear re your donor though.  she has some frosties. 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## blueytoo

Great news Inde, that first scan and seeing heartbeat is lovely  

Claire xx


----------



## lulumead

lovely news inde
   

xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Great news Inde, had been looking out for your post all day and then had to go to sign language class...so very glad to get home this eve and see all is OK
Wishing you a very happy and healthy 7 or so more months  
Suitcase
x


----------



## winky77

Inde......      excellent news.....so at what point do you tell Poppet?!?!?! I just imagine his face! 

lol

..Winky


----------



## suitcase of dreams

safe trip tomorrow Winky...hope it all goes well, and the travel plans don't turn out too complicated!

Suitcase
x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Well, it hasn't worked again so back to the drawing board for me. 

Have lost all faith in my UK clinic and actually wishing I'd never even had the DE cycle there. But you can't turn back the clock, just got to get on with it now. Will definitely not be having any more tx there. I know lots of the other singlies are using the same clinic, and I think it's fine if you're a 'standard' case, but clearly doesn't work for me. 

Am still on CRM wait list for ED but reading the CRM thread it seems the list has suddenly got longer and being matched quickly is not happening. I should perhaps call and find out where I am on the list as I did get to the top (twice) and turned down the donors (because I had already started with other clinic both times - more fool me, should have switched to CRM). I am also concerned about the cost of cycling with CRM - my savings are getting smaller and smaller and if this is going to take several attempts (as it seems it is) then I need to be mindful of that.

As most of you know, I've struggled with the concept of anon donors because I wanted the child to have the option to find out about their genetic background when they grew up. But more and more I am starting to think that this perhaps not so important and that the important thing is actually getting pregnant and having a family.

So I'm pretty sure my next attempt will be abroad. You can get 2 goes at Reprofit for the cost of one at CRM, doubling my chances as it were. Plus I have to say I am attracted to the idea of a fixed date (none of the stress of trying to juggle things to time it right for donor's EC etc), and to a 'guarantee' of at least 2 good embies/blasts. I have a date in mid April - wish it were a bit sooner, but better than nothing. 

Researching other options in the meantime - thinking Serum might be one to look at. Spain I'm not considering because more expensive than CRM so defeats the object of giving myself more than one go. If anyone has alternative suggestions, let me know (will post on abroadies thread too)
Of course it's not all about the money, but I do need to start taking that much more into account. Especially as I will have to have the immune tx via Dr G at the same time....

I'm sick and tired of being the one for whom it just doesn't seem to work. After all the failed cycles with my own eggs, I was hoping that DE would do the trick for me first time - why shouldn't I be due some luck? But it seems it doesn't work that way (maybe I offended the gods in a previous life...) And I'm pretty scared that it's just never going to work. After all, there are some women for whom it never works, and statistically at least one of us is prob going to end up being in that group  

Anyway, enough waffling on from me, I suppose I should be posting on the 'in waiting' thread for now  
Suitcase
x


----------



## Damelottie

I only know about Reprofit Suitcase but GOOD LUCK with your research into the other clinics


----------



## lulumead

Hi Suity

I know its not quite the same but I had to deal with the anonymous thing going through my adoption process as babies from china are left to be found, and don't have any way of tracking down their parents added to this they have the issue of being abandoned, so its definitely a different situation but I'm sure if you are open and honest with your baby/child then thats all you can do - thats basically the adoption stance.  You could have a traceable donor who ends up not wanting to have contact or has died in the meantime and that would be hard for a child to deal with too.  The hard thing is that we can't predict how a child will be affected, you can only do what you feel comfortable with and I'm sure once you have your baby you will be able to handle whatever they throw at you. Its clear from your posts that you are sensitive, capable and supportive, three excellent qualities for any mother.

My friend aged 45 is now pregnant with donor eggs after her second attempt. It can and does happen although I completely understand that this is very hard to believe when there seems no reason why it isn't working for you. She want to Spain.

Wish I could help in some practical way.  Perhaps we should start a lottery syndicate, we could all do with the extra money  

Hope you get some TLC over the next few days.
I know everyone on here, cannot wait for the day that we are guessing the date and weight of your baby...let us believe that it will happen for you, whilst you rebuild your strength....it's tough straight after it not working so time to be kind to yourself and get that fabulous holiday booked up.

sending you lots and lots of love 
   

xxx


----------



## cocochanel1

Suity, you know how sorry I am that this hasn't been the one for you. I wish I could offer some words of wisdom but I think that I think your proposal to go abroad and up your odds is probably the way forward. Here when you want to chat. Love Coco xxx


----------



## sohocat

Suitecase of dreams
I am sooooo sorry!     I am going to Reprofit Dec 7 for deivf, and I paid extra for a company based in the US-I am in Los Angeles -called My IVF Alternative and they were able to get me in really quickly at Reprofit-labout  2 months as opposed to a long waiting list.  They also meet you when you come in and show you the ropes and I need that for my first time going and a strange language and city and all.   They also help you figure out your medications.  
I wish I could say something to make you feel better.  I was reading lots of blogs here in the US before I found this site when I was thinking about known or anan donor, and like you I really wanted a known donor, but then I read a blog from someone who had picked a donor where she saw the her baby pictures-no grown pictures- and had them and was keeping them to show her baby later, but was bathing her baby one time and looking down at her baby saw the donor's face in her baby.  I don't want to see my donor in my baby, I just want to see my baby.  I think it's better.  That's my own personal opinion.
Jean


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks everyone for your words and thoughts. Although I must confess I'm not quite yet 100% Ok with anon donor, I feel confident that I will be by the time I have my baby and that's what counts....my counsellor is really helping me work through all this and what I do know is that the most important thing is to do whatever I need to do to give myself the best possible chance of having my much wanted family....

At the end of the day, this whole process is an ongoing one and I'm not going to wake up one day and suddenly think 'oh yes, I'm 100% happy with all this' - it's been a series of steps, giving up on the dream of husband/traditional route, then going from IUI to IVF to giving up on my own eggs...and this is just one more step in the process I guess

I've decided not to try and rush in another cycle before my Reprofit cycle in April - the timing is just too tight, especially if I want to have a holiday and try to do something for myself. So I'll do the Repro cycle and in the meantime look to book something else for June in case it doesn't work

Need to see Dr G again too and ask if there is anything else I should be doing immune wise
But for the next couple of weeks I'm going to try to forget about ttc and think about having a holiday instead   Think my head needs a bit of a break!

Suitcase
x


----------



## lulumead

good plan suity...having stepped away a bit I can highly recommend it.
xxx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Me too - the break is something that I think I really have needed - wishing you all the best in finding a suitable clinic in the near future x x


----------



## sohocat

Suity
Sometimes you need a break, and I wish you the best.  You also have been very supportive of me when things have been hard for you, and I appreciate you a lot.  A vacation sounds like a great idea.  Take care,
Jean


----------



## Sima

Suity

I am very sorry to read the news about your BFN today. I do hope you had a good chat with your counsellor last night and you can slowly recover from your disappointment.  I wish you all the best in trying to find a way forward.  It's not easy so take your time and I am sure you will come up with a plan soon.

I have not had tx with Serum yet but I have liked the service I have received from the clinic so far.  You might want to post on the Greece/Serum board if you want some insight into how the clinic works.  You can also have a free initial consultation with Penny.  I flew out to see her in person but I believe you could also email her or call her if heading to Athens is not an option.

Another alternative might be South Africa.  I think the cost including travel is comparable to the UK but you do get to see baby photos of the donors which is a nice touch.

All the best

Sima


----------



## RichmondLass

Suity, am so, so sorry.  It really is not fair.  I hope your research points you in a lucky direction soon and the intervening time passes quickly so you're en route to having the family you deserve.  xxxx


----------



## Tombliboo

Hi

This is my first post - though I have used this site for a while. I have often gained knowledge, inspiration and strength from reading your posts - but now I need some advice/views on my predicament. Appreciate it if you could read my story below and tell me what you would do if in my shoes. (not what you think I should do but what you would do). I'm quite a strong-minded gal so don't worry about unduly influencing me - I just need some thoughts.

My story (abridged version!)

On my 35th birthday late in 2006, decide to try for a baby on my own. 6 weeks later have my first iui (despite clinic telling me to abandon cycle because of thin lining). 8 months later my gorgeous, wonderful, mischievous son shot out into the world (45 mins in labour).

10 months later decide to try for a sibling for my son. After 3 medicated iuis and 4 icsis (poor response and poor quality eggs) advised to move to donor eggs. After a few months of self-pity, disbelief&#8230;and a couple of tantrums (!) I decide to go down the egg donor route.

Having done some research into UK egg share programs, I discover that finding a suitable donor (either Spanish or Indian - I am a mix ) would be 'very challenging'. Research into clinics abroad is far more positive. Contact my UK clinic to be told that my 'identity disclosed sperm donor' had ticked the box 'no export abroad'. Devastated. They agree to contact him to see if he might change his mind - just in this instance. Discover he has emigrated to France and not left contact details. Refuse to contact **** but agree to send a message to an e-mail address he gave when donating 4 years ago. It's been 6 weeks and no reply. In limbo.

So, what to do? Wait in hope that sperm donor will read e-mail and agree transport to Spain. Wait in hope that a suitable egg donor can be found in the UK so can have egg share treatment here (not on any lists yet). Go to Spain and have double donor treatment. Give up on dream and focus on the good fortune that has already come my way.

Would really appreciate your thoughts/advice/views.


----------



## Violet66

Honestly? I would go with double donor and not hold out for this one.


----------



## indekiwi

Tombliboo, I was / am in a similar situation.  First son conceived through IUI with an anonymous (pre 2005) sperm donor.  Bought in sibling sperm and started TTC when he was a year old.  Two years later found my own ovaries had packed up and decided to change to donor eggs.  Found I couldn't export the sibling sperm to another country due to the laws here.  My story diverges here.  I am white, so not an issue regarding matching....just an issue to find a clinic with less than a two - three year waiting list for donor eggs, and exhausting my savings on expensive cycles of tx here.  Question for me was in one sense the same as for you - do I ditch the sibling sperm and go for two new anonymous donors elsewhere, or stay here, and at least have some genetic link between my son and his sibling to be whilst finding a reasonable physical match with the egg donor.  My decision was to do the latter.  With the help of JJ1  , who pointed me to the CRM thread on the donor eggs / sperm board, I found a clinic with a wait time of less than six months for donor eggs and excellent success rates.  I am now eight weeks pregnant as a double donor recipient, and with the same sperm donor as for my son.  

If 1) having an ID release donor is important to you; and / or 2) having a genetic link between your children is important to you, I would at the very least ring one or two of these UK based clinics with short lists and ask the question of whether they have donors on their books that might match your requirements.  If you don't ask, you don't get, and there may be potential egg donors waiting to do an egg share but with few would be recipients that they can be matched with.  However, if it is a question of 1) settling for one child because you can't find a donor egg match in this country and are also unable to move your sibling sperm abroad; or 2) moving the goal posts so that you can add to your family through two anonymous donors elsewhere, then I'm in the latter camp.  The way I figure it, I was never going to use IVF if IUI hadn't worked for me....and then always thought that donor eggs was a bit of a desperate course to take particularly given the fact that I had a child...until I couldn't conceive using IUI / IVF or even good old fashioned  ....then frankly, creating a sibling for my DS became the ultimate objective, with the method and the material used becoming the means to an end.  Settling for one child was never an option I considered for more than an hour or two, although I respect others' decisions to do so.  

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

A-Mx


----------



## Candee

Is there anyway you can import frozen donor eggs from Spain? I know they have no problem recruiting donors over there.
Just a thought...


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

No as the donors are paid and don't meet **** requirements over here
L x


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## RichmondLass

Speaking as someone who went for double donor in Spain and is now happily up the duff I am completely biased of course!  Tombliboo - I think my treatment was the same cost or perhaps slightly more expensive than Uk but no waiting list whatsoever.  Total anonymity of course.  

As Inde has said it depends what's important to you.  I have three frosties which I  know I'll be going back for to give 'Emilio' a sibling at some point (unless he's a horror in which case he can whistle for one).  And I just know that if they don't work I'll be disappointed but it won't stop me starting from scratch and either going back to Spain to start over or somewhere else less expensive probably.

If you want the Indian/Spanish mix I imagine that's going to be tough but either Spain or India might be your best option - could you import Spanish sperm to India for example?? That might be your cheapest and quickest bet. You might be lucky and get Indian-heritage sperm from the US?

If it's simply a colouring match you're after  rather than heritage, I have a feeling I was told that CRM treats a lot of French women who do egg share, although the CRM ladies will confirm or deny that .

Well done on getting this far - it just goes to show that there is a big difference in a couple of years - or that luck plays a big part for us all!

RLxxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

There are pts on F who have been to India where treatment is much cheaper and would be a match for you as well

take a look 
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=365.0

l x


----------



## Tombliboo

Thanks to all for your replies/suggestions - you’ve given me lots to think about. Will let you know how my story unfolds.

Inde - yes our situations are pretty similar. I went back and read a lot of your old posts- you write so well and reading about your journey has really helped. And, wow, a business trip to India whilst pregnant and with DS in tow…hats off to you… And with his looks, never mind Prince Poppet, I’m sure the Mumbainians will have elevated him to god-like status before your trip is over!

Richmond-Lass - I too live in the Richmond area. Are you having Xavier at Kingston? I had quite a long stay there after giving birth (2nd degree tears) and was in a room with 3 ladies who’d had c-sections. We were all really impressed with the care. 

All the best,

Tombliboo


----------



## RichmondLass

Tomblibo - I am under Kingston at the moment but am planning to move and not sure where I'll end up!  

Tear sounds nasty ouch!  

rlXX


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hmm, went to see LWC for follow up consultation today, wasn't going to bother but ED co-ordinator persuaded me it was a good idea. Should have trusted my own instincts and not bothered....4 hour round trip and I was actually in with the consultant less than 10 minutes....

Apparently my egg donor is pregnant, so nothing wrong with her eggs/embryos, just "bad luck". I've lost count of the times they have told me it's bad luck and frankly I'm over it. It's got to be more than bad luck after 2 years and god knows how many failed cycles. I know you can't really count the OE cycles as it turns out my eggs are dud, but nonetheless, I'm pretty tired of being told I'm just unlucky  

Consultant said nothing she would do differently next time, just got to keep trying. She doesn't know I did ivig etc and when I asked her about this, she said she wouldn't do it, no evidence, not worth it. I said I was unlikely to do egg share again and felt that I had no option but to go abroad. She said if she was me, that's what she would do. Ho hum....even my own clinic are pretty much telling me to go abroad....

And I'm afraid I don't really feel happy for my egg donor at all, I feel angry and bitter and jealous - she's 27 and has years to have children, I'm 39 and don't....and this was her first IVF and my 5th....so why does she get all the luck and I don't get any? I know I sound like a spoilt child BUT IT'S NOT FAIR and I'm sick off it

Sorry to whinge, but pretty bl***y fed up tonight  

Suitcase
x


----------



## Roo67

Suity - so sorry that you have had a s***y day, I can totally understand how you are feeling

once or twice you can convince yourself that it is just unlucky but not over and over again. and your're right it's JUST NOT FAIR !!

Hope you have some nice things to look forward to this weekend and can get some real hugs   but for now you'll just have to do with these

    

R x


----------



## Candee

Suity I am so sorry      
Candee
x


----------



## winky77

Suity....


----------



## Felix42

Suity, completely don't blame you feeling angry.  Sending you huge   Very interesting that even the consultant says she would go abroad.  Big   and   for 2010 and holding your baby in your arms at last.  You so deserve this.

Love and hugs, Felix xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Oh Suity   I have the opposite of going abroad getting 16 eggs and nothing to transfer so I don't always think abroad is necessarily the answer.  Enjoy your holiday and have a lot of thinking and then decide 

I was phoned today to say there was a potential match, but in fact the donor's physical characteristics and mine are not really similar to me or my partner at all - different hair, eye colouring , build and height (she much more petite in height and 3-4 stone lighter!!) I can't put too many details on FF but she is proven with numerous of her own children  now teenagers, don't know about the academic etc.

I am really not sure what to do- they are coming back to me with more info but I need to know by Mon- did you all take the first offered? she has donated before and recip got pregnant and in 2nd trimester, she didn't, she is also on the cusp with age. In Spain I knew nothing of the donor only young and colouring.

Can I ask did you all take the first donor offered?  The nurse said that I don't have to take the first but if you refuse 3-4 they refer you for counselling?  I discussed with my sperm donor and his partner and all 3 of us had out doubts, at first the nurse told me the lady produced less than 10 eggs and I was concerned if that was to share but then the nurse emailed me to say she was wrong and it was double this amount- 50-50.

Thoughts and advice pls!!!

Decisions for a Libran who cannot decide between beef or chicken all this is a nightmare!!  I was better of in Spain I think only knowing young!

L x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

JJ - no, I didn't take the first donor I was offered because she wasn't a good physical match for me. Then I took the second who also wasn't a great match because I just wanted to get going...and that was the cancelled cycle. The cycle I went ahead with just recently I took that donor although she wasn't a great match either because I'd had the cancelled one and just wanted to have a full cycle...
In retrospect I wish I'd been more picky! But only because it didn't work - if it had worked, I wouldn't have cared what the donor looked like  

Is this with CRM by the way? Interesting that you have been matched - pretty sure I went on the list before you and I haven't heard a thing from them....I wonder if I should get in touch? Then again I've pretty much decided not to put myself through egg share again - too stressful....

Best of luck with the decision making, think you just have to go with your gut instinct on this one - if you don't feel comfortable for whatever reason, then don't go ahead

Suitcase
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Thanks Suity maybe give them a call, to be honest this donor is much more your phenotype than mine! The donor co-ordinator changed and she did ring me before she left to say she was moving on and just checking everyone's details.  I emailed them (I can pm you the new lady's email) and ask her where you are on the list with the date that you joined the list, I was 32 2 weeks ago!

I am not sure why you think ED will be less stressful than ES as you still have to get synched up, but maybe LWC have given you too much info about the donor along the way, as with my Spanish donor I wasn't even told when she was stimming or it started. This is what i think today just being given info about this donor as in Spain I was told nothing, they made all those decisions!! 

L x


----------



## lulumead

suity, nothing much I can say other than you are perfectly right to feel whatever you feel, it is unfair and tough, and I really iwsh it was different for you, its hard to keep staying positive. 
Sending you loads of        
xx


----------



## wizard

Suitcase what can I say?  This whole process is cr*p, unfair, cruel and gruelling.  I feel cross for you that your donor managed to get pregnant and you didn't so I can only imagine how you must feel about it.   

JJ I don't have any direct expereince to offer but it does sound like you and your donor and partner aren't really sure - and 3 of you all thinking that is significant I  think.  I would be a bit concerned about being on the edge of the age limit if it was me, we all know from personal experience how quickly our fertility diminishes after 35 and sometimes before!  Her teenage children are proof of past fertility and not current.  Sorry I don't mean to sound negative but there does seem to be a few things that you're not sure about and it's a lot of cash and energy and emotion you will be putting into it.  

Good luck with whatever you decide and if it's a no I hope a better match comes up for you soon.

Wizard x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

I thought that but hre recipient got pregnant on the last cycle she tried this year, she obviously didn't, the clinic emailed me back to say their highest rates for success in IVF are 34-36 (but then there are smaller proportion of ladies entering into IVF who are younger)
L x


----------



## indekiwi

JJ1, I took the first one that came along on both occasions, though plenty of people do not.  The last donor was not a strong match in hair or eye colour for me but fell into the range that I had discussed.  Height wise she was a lot shorter and weight wise - well, let's just say she doesn't have a problem staying in her BMI range, unlike me. .  Physically, we were never going to be mistaken for twins!    She was early 30s and proven.  However, nearly three years of repeated failure were getting to me by that stage and I just wanted to crack on with things.  Other people are perhaps more patient and disciplined about the whole matter (won't be the first time that accusation has been levelled at me.  )  In fact, a number of the ladies on the CRM thread turned down their first match, so you wouldn't be alone.  I suspect the hardest thing to get is a proven donor, and yours certainly fits the bill there with her recipient earlier this year getting pregnant.  If you three are uncertain however about the match in looks, and have a gut sense that it doesn't work for you, then frankly that's how you should be guided.  No one else can decide your priorities for you and there aren't any rights or wrongs about this.    

Suity, what can I say that won't look like it's from some lofty and smug comfort zone?    However, I shall try, because I care a lot that you are so angry and so bitter and so despairing and so damned sad and IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!!!!! You're perfectly entitled to feel as you do and it's hardly surprising you feel this way.  I wish the wicked fairy would give you a break.  I wish you would get matched yesterday with the perfect donors and for once, everything would go your way.  I wish you had something to look forward to rather than to feel bleak about in respect to TTC.  I wish somehow I or someone else who posts here regularly and cares about you a lot could do more than write seemingly empty words and send emoticon hug signs.  I wish so much for you my friend.  I hope your holiday brings you peace and perspective and a rejuvenated hope for 2010.  In the mean time, I'm sending lots of love, and good wishes, and fervent wishes that your next cycle will see you completely shocked and wondering how to feel about being pregnant.    

A-Mx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thank you everyone for your kind words and hugs - they are much appreciated
Inde - your post in particular made me cry (in a nice way  ) - kind of awkward as read it at work...had to pretend I had something in my eye - not sure if they believed me 

I know you all want this for me almost as much as I want it for myself - if only our collective wanting were enough  

But I've come this far and I'm not giving up. Just got to get through this difficult patch and look forward to another try in April. And in the meantime I have 4 weeks in Nepal to look forward to  

Thank you again, I really appreciate the support and sympathy  
Suitcase
x


----------



## Candee

Inde your post was lovely and put into words what I know all of us feel for Suity, who is always the first to help and reply and respond to people on here and be there for them.

Suity, I wish I could give them to you for real       
Candee
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Suity how are you today hun?


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi JJ,

I'm OK thanks  

Trying to focus on other things to take my mind off it to be honest

Just received gear/equipment check list for my so-called holiday and beginning to wonder if I've taken on a bit too much! Huge list of stuff I need - thermals, waterproofs, fleeces etc etc...scary!

Off to do a first round of shopping this weekend, trying not to think about how much it's all going to cost - hopefully can sell it all off on ebay afterwards...don't think trekking in Nepal is going to be a regular thing  

Suitcase
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

This might be start of a fantastic hobby and I hope that  mountain climbing with a baby on your back is how you'll spend your future weekends !!
l x


----------



## RichmondLass

Rose am so, so pleased for you!  Welcome to the thread! And a trip to lovely Cape Town into the bargain!  I went there in Nov last year and loved it.  

Well done you!
RLxxx


----------



## Felix42

Wonderful, wondeful news Rose! So pleased that things are coming together for you with a donor you're very pleased with and support over here. You so deserve this 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## Candee

Hi Rose
Welcome to the thread!
As you know, I couldn't recommend CFC and Nuture too highly.
They were absolutely brilliant!

Candee
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Rose I am so thrilled that you have made a plan and executed it so quickly.  It feels so positive.  I am relly impressed that you have been matched so quickly.  Do you mind me asking how much DE cycle is there.  My problem with being my lining is that SA is a long way to turn up be scanned and sent home, like happened to us in Barcelona on 3 occasions! otherwise I would be very tempted

Love Lorrainex


----------



## indekiwi

Rose, uber fast work on the donor matching front!      Hope that March sees your dreams rotate into reality.       

A-Mx


----------



## aweeze

Rose - just wanted to say well done and congratulations on your choices. It all sounds like it's dropping into place so perfectly - like it's meant to be hun. Fingers crossed for you. 

Lou
XX


----------



## cocochanel1

Rose, amazing - sounds fantastic - very pleased for you. Love Coco xxx


----------



## RichmondLass

Hi Rose - how exciting!  Can you explain Nurture and CFC?  Why the two organisations?

RLxx


----------



## lulumead

all sounding very positive ROse  
xx


----------



## Candee

Just bumping this thread up as it seems to have gone a bit quiet!
Rose I hope that all is going well with your SA plan?
Suity I hope you had a brilliant holiday.
Hi to all the other single-doublies!
Candee
x


----------



## RichmondLass

Candee - not long to go for you and I now!
RLxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1243839/Woman-60-oldest-person-given-IVF-treatment-British-clinic.html

There is a programme on BBC 1 on 26 Jan at 1035

I don't feel so old now!!!

/links


----------



## RichmondLass

Hurrah for LWC and good for her!  How ridiculous to say it will open the floodgates! As if there are millions of 60-year-old gagging to have a baby! And if there were 50 a year, so what?
She and her husband obviously want a second child as a sibling for their daughter very much and the clinic is convinced they should be given a chance to look after two.

It's interesting that younger women suffering from life threatening or terminal illnesses are supported in their decision to try for a baby despite the risk to themselves and the risk that they won't be around to raise them (I'm generalising a bit having read several features in the past). And why do they always bang on about how scandalous it is to exploit the donors and how dangerous it is? Scaremongering. 

Good luck to her! I just hope the inevitable outcry doesn't lead to a tightening up of the law that has a general adverse effect on egg donation.  
RLxx


----------



## sweet1

This IS the Daily Mail we are talking about so the 'floodgates' comment is hardly surprising!


----------



## wishingforanangel

I just saw this thread today.....It looks like I will need donor eggs from what my new fertility specialist is telling me...I suppose it didn't feel real until today (I suppose I a little part of me was still thinking I may be able to use my own eggs). Does that sound crazy?

I am a little freaked out now because I would need an egg donor or go with embryo donation. With my old doctor it was an embryo donation and all I need to do was fill out some paper work to go ahead with my cycle and pay for my own medications since the donation was for altruistic reasons and I wouldn't pay any fees....but with my new doctor I would have to deal with egg donation. Egg donation in the United States becomes more complicated with attorney's, paying the donor for her eggs, the IVF cycle...the cost is any where from $20,000 to $30,000 (I think that is about 10,000 to 15,000 pounds in British currency)...I guess I am feeling overwhelmed because of all the things I have to do and all the expenses....I know having this baby is worth all the money in the world but it seems this whole thing is a crazy with egg donation. If I try to do embryo donation with an embryo agency, which appears to be run by religious organizations (the organizations seem a bit to religious and I wonder if they will accept single women who live with depression), &  I would have to go through a lot of steps which would essentially be like an adoption which I might not pass. I don't know if I should go back to my own doctor or quit.  Right now I feel like crying .

I just don't know if it will be easier for me to go to an international clinic in Europe...


----------



## Candee

Hey Hun,
It is all so much to take in, isn't it   
I know that the Reprofit Clinic in the Czech Republic has an embryo donation scheme and that they treat single women.
You will need to email them to get on the waiting list which I think is about 4 months or so. There is a thread on the Czech site specifically about the Reprofit Embryo donation scheme. It is very much cheaper than the figures you mention - I am not absolutley sure how much but you could check that in your email - I think around £2,000.
I think generally that embryo donation is not as expensive as egg donation.
Whatever you decide to do, I wish you lots of luck and keep posting here because there are loads of lovely women on the thread who will help you.   
Candee
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Wfaa- some British women go to the USA for ED- I looked at shady grove and they do a 6 cycle package so at the end if no baby you get your money back but there are criteria and I have ashermans syndrome so lining damage.
Spain is an option I did it is cheaper than the USA but still E8000+ care in your own country, flights accom etc.
In the uk the wait is a long time as most egg donors are egg sharers as well. Have you looked at barbdos as well?
Good luck l x


----------



## Violet66

I fly off for a consultation at my new clinic next tuesday. Have chosen Life Clinic in Athens - i could have a phone consultation but as you can (just about) fly to Athens and back in a day from London i have decided to go out there and meet face to face.

i've already had one failed cycle with DE - didn't even try with my own eggs as I'm 43 - so will be interested to see what this dr - who worked in london with Taranissi and Prof Craft suggests for me. 

I've just a whole load of blood tests done and my results have come back with an FSH of 7 and and AMH of 29.2 - which has thrown a bit of a spanner in the works!


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Good luck with your consultation Violet..maybe you'll even get to see a bit of sunshine in Athens too 
Re your test results, I assume you mean thrown a spanner in the works because they are relatively good and you are questioning whether you could try with your own eggs? Not to shatter your illusions but do remember that FSH/AMH are indicators of egg quantity and likely response to stimming drugs. They are no indicator of egg _quality_ and that's what counts. Stats for IVF with own eggs at 43 are very poor - not sure if there are even any successes at all in the past couple of years - your chances are better trying naturally but we singlies don't have that option unfortunately!
Anyway, if that wasn't what you meant, then ignore me waffling on...

Hello to all the other DE girlies...is very quiet on here at the moment unless you're a single with a bump or babe it seems...hope to see some more chatting on this and other ttc threads again soon 

Suitcase
x


----------



## Candee

Hey everyone!
Suity you are right - this thread has gone too quiet!
I am guilty of slothfulness at the moment - I am so shattered! I have put a lot of weight on   which I did not need as my BMI was too high anyway!   As a consequence just getting through the day at work is a major undertaking - I have had to re-arrange my classroom to move my table back because I couldn't get in!   By the time I get home I am just flopping! But in 2 weeks I will finish so hopefully will be posting more.

Suity, I hope you are doing ok? 
Violet I hope all goes well out in Greece. 
Wishingforanangel, keep going and you will get your plans sorted  
Hi to all the other single-doublies!
Candee
x


----------



## Violet66

You're in the home stretch now though Candee - well, sort of! 
sounds like you've earned your maternity leave. 

Suity - yes that is what i meant - but i'm not getting carried away believe me. 43yr old eggs are still 43 yr old eggs! I still think DE are the way to go for me but i'll be interested to see what the consultant said because he seemed to indicate (in our email exchanges) that good hormone levels are still useful even with donor eggs.


----------



## wishingforanangel

Thanks for the   Candee...This whole situation is a bit overwhelming...I was hoping to work with Retrofit but apparently I mentioned that I was single and apparently the person I emailed said the Clinic couldn't help me because I was single but I suppose it depends on who one speaks with....

JJ1 
The clinic I am using seems to have a similiar program like Shady Grove...I just don't think I am up for 6 cycles more...The 5 cycles I have been through have taken a toll on me...I was only planning to try once or twice more to see about having my baby...I am not even sure if I could go through something called estrogen priming protocol since my FSH levels is somewhat high and I ended up being a poor responder to the medications...Egg donation seems to be my best option and was expecting it to be expensive but not insane...Sigh...Ummm. Barbados...That is something to think about...I suppose I'll figure something out...nothing is exactly going the way I planned...


Violet66

Good luck in Greece...Hope you don't mind sharing your experience in Grece but you don't have to if you don't want to...


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Wfaa- the reprofit girls get round the legal tecnicality of the law not letting them treat single women, I think the clinic know but turn a blind eye.
Goog luck
l x


----------



## Damelottie

Wishingforanangel   . Don't give up on reprofit if it's where you'd like to go. Just 'e' mail Stefan direct xxxxxxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Yes, wfaa - if you want to go to Reprofit you can...there are enough of us already doing it for us to know for sure it's possible - me included. If you don't have the right email address let us know and we can PM you with it...Dr Stepan Machac is the one you need to speak to....
There's also the Gyncentrum Ostrava who have an english speaking (she's actually American I think) co-ordinator. I have heard very good things about them, waiting list is shorter than Reprofit, and prices similar. Again, let me know if you want contact details. Good luck - I know it all seems horribly confusing and challenging at first, but you'll get there and there are lots of American women on the Czech threads who can help with travel advice from the US etc...

Violet - cool, just wouldn't have wanted your docs to be suggesting you try with your own eggs since the success rates are so very low after 40, but as you say, good hormone levels are a plus anyway  

Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Violet, good luck with your consultation in Athens!  Hope that it's second time lucky with DE for you.    

Suity, not sure I've said hun, but welcome back to Blighty - been checking out your holiday pics and they are amazing!  You have a real talent.  

Rose, not long for you now.    

WFAA, good luck with your decision making - going overseas may well be an option for you if you are seeking DE tx.  

Candee,    I hope you get a chance to catch up on your rest over the next week or two.  

GIAtoo, I'm certain you're right about many ladies trying with their own eggs well into their 40s.  I guess the issue for me with this is that with tx being so expensive, time and emotion consuming, and with perhaps less than a 5% chance of conceiving on any given cycle (the stat given to me at 41), you almost need a limitless amount of cash in order to continue to the point that you successfully conceive.    Not that donor eggs are a panacea for all   but it is striking how many people currently posting on the bumps and babes board have used DE to achieve their dreams.  

Roo, Misti, if you're reading,   

I think the single doubly thread is about to get mighty busy again.    Hoping to see lots of   posts in 2010!


----------



## suitcase of dreams

GIA - 28% is good odds, best of luck for tomorrow  

I guess that's why we all have to make our own decisions on what treatment is best for us. Like Inde, I was given less than 5% chance (and I'm not even 40 until next month) based on previous cycles and after 5 failed attempts with my own eggs I simply couldn't continue investing emotionally and financially so DE was the right decision for me.
In case you misinterpreted my earlier post, I wasn't at all saying women in their 40s shouldn't try with their own eggs, only that they should go into it with their eyes wide open since success rates, especially at age 43 which I believe Violet is, are very very low indeed. Of course you can always be the lucky 1%, but you have to be prepared for the long haul to find the perfect egg.

Very much hoping the odds go in your favour tomorrow  
Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

GIAtoo, don't get me wrong, I'm sending lots of       that you're successful tomorrow and your clinic is well known for treating ladies in their 40s and getting success where other clinics have failed, so lots to play for!  Ditto anyone else choosing to pursue OE tx in their 40s - I am committed to supporting anyone undergoing fertility tx - there's so much at stake regardless of whether you use OE or DE - a positive is euphoric, and a negative is just awful.  .  

I am however, very mindful of my own experience of multiple cycles over nearly three years, the discovery of plummeting fertility and the associated emotional roller coaster, not to mention the experience of several others who have now turned to DE (many signatures just make me want to cry) - and I am one of the very, very, lucky ones who have something to show for my investment (not a small one at close to £40k - and that for sibling creation, not for my first son ).  I am certainly not representative of everyone over 40 undergoing tx, but sadly, my experience is more common than not.  Hence, this thread even has to exist.   

Suity, our posts have crossed -    

A-Mx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

GIA I can agree with you on that, I did 4 cycles of OE before moving onto DE, and being given low stats for my OE and dodgy womb, but it is all part of the process I couldn't have moved onto DE without OE cycles,a dn I since have pangs of maybe I should do one more OE cycle but Mr Taranissi gave me less have 1% chance- I did produce 4 eggs last time but the womb lining is my main probem.  I have since found out that Cyprus do tandem cycles, so half your and half DE as back up, if I'd known they did this a few years ago I would like to have tried it!.

Wishing you lots of luck tomorrow 
L x


----------



## wishingforanangel

LadyLottie & suitcase of dreams...

If either of you ladies would be able to send a PM to me with Dr. Stefan Machac email address that would be great. Also if you have the email address for Gyncentrum Ostrava it would be great.

I would try egg donation here but it is a too expensive unless a miracle happens and I win the lotto. Unfortunately embryo donation through an agency would be stressful because the agencies treat embryo donation as an adoption with background checks like criminal records, home environment if I am interpreting things right. Although I understand why the embryo donation agencies do a homestudy, I would feel like I was on trial and don't really need the added stress ontop of fertility treatments. I would have tried to do all my fertility treatments in the UK because I felt I needed the structure of the HFEA but I didn't feel like I was on trial but with things not going as planned, like the 1 to 3 years on a wait list to participate in a donor egg/share scheme...it would be too long. 

GIA2 good luck to you.


----------



## Damelottie

GIA2 - GOOD LUCK      .



GoingItAloneToo said:


> I wasn't going to move straight to DE without even trying with my OE, which does seem to be the usual journey.


Is it? Oooh I always thought I was quite unusual because I went straight to DE without ever trying with my OE. I always thought I was quite 'lucky' in that it never made any difference at all to me so I just with what gave me the highest odds  . I've often wondered if my adoption journey had anything to do with that thinking.

Ohhh just a minute.............. did you mean the usual journey seems to be trying with OE first? Sorry, think I read that wrong  .

I'm going to look our for your news on the 2ww thread  

LL xxxxxxxx


----------



## indekiwi

GIAtoo, so sorry hun - sending lots of     .  I hope someone close is with you to give you a big squeeze, hand you a glass of wine & some tissues if needed and help you through the next few days.

For what it's worth, I was another of those who did a series of OE cycles (IUI and IVF) in my 40s before turning to DE.  

A-Mx


----------



## Lou-Ann

GIA2, I am so sorry that it wasn't to be this time   . Be kind to yourself, thinking of  you 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Candee

GIA2 I am so sorry it didn't work this time hunny. I hope you are getting lots of support from the people around you.
Take care of yourself,
Candee
x


----------



## Damelottie

GIA2 -  . I so so sorry. I hope you have somebody with you and are managing to find some comfort somewhere somehow. Its always so hard and gutting.


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

GIA they are the Jimmed pt and they go to Cyrpus, I didn't ask about single!! I just assumed that Cyprus did, I emailed them and they emailed back the next day IVF CYPRUS <[email protected]>
Take care
l x


----------



## RichmondLass

Giat I am so sorry it hasn't worked for you I really am. Am stunned your clinic has quoted a 28 pc chance of conception. What are they basing that on do you know. At age 42 I wwas quoted 2 to 5 pc chance based on age alone not my personal medical situation and I think from what I remeber your test results were similar to mine. I can understand anyone giving it a go with oe at those odds but they seem out of kilter? I hope you haven't been misled. Understand if you're not up to replying to this by the way but other ladies maybe know the reason behind that stat from lister. Scuse blackberry typing xx


----------



## blueytoo

GIAT2 - sorry to hear about your BFN  

If those odds were given to you by the Lister then that is correct for your personal situation. Unlike many other clinics, the Lister give out personal stats based on your own situation and their experience with other women with similar test results. I have known, over the last 8 years of posting on here many women your age, treated at the Lister with their own eggs that have got a BFP. It's not like with Reprofit for example who just say a success rate based on all patients that age, so I really wouldn't worry about being misled or anything.

Have you got your review booked? When you have that you will be able to find out what the embryologist said about your egg quality as well. Then you can discuss whether a change of protocol and/or drugs would be worth trying. The Lister are very pro-active and don't just sit around keeping everything the same over many cycles. Hopefully that will help you make your decision about what to do next.


----------



## Damelottie

GIA2 - yes you have explained yourself perfectly. I'm so sorry if the thread inadvertently upset you.

I have always believed that wherever your clinic is - whether its Reprofit or The Lister or wherever - its very important to have faith in your own clinic. Whilst the opinions of others are often very helpful they should never replace your own clinics information. If anybody has a problem with how their clinic 'works' then its beyond me why they would go there. So have faith in The Lister hun - is what I believe - in the way I have 100% faith in Reprofit, and other people do their clinics.

GOOD LUCK for your review

xxxxxxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

GIA Too - I too apologise if the thread and indeed my own comments upset you in any way. This is a hugely emotional journey and everyone deals with it in their own way. I'm one of those who, in an attempt to protect myself from disappointment, tends to look on the negative side rather than the positive. Even though I know that positive thinking can help, I find it works better for me to assume it's not going to work and then when it doesn't I'm less devastated than I might perhaps be if I'd gone all the way through believing it would work....if you see what I mean....but that's just me and I should really have been more sensitive

I've been at this for over 2 years now, 5 cycles with own eggs including a failed cycle and a miscarriage, plus 2 DE cycles - one which never got to transfer and one BFN and so I guess it's fair to say that I've become pretty cynical about the entire process, and, although I hate to say it, pretty bitter too. I wish I wasn't like this, but it's hard to go through all that and still stay positive (especially since my natural disposition is prob more glass half empty than half full anyway)

Anyway, this is a very long winded way of saying that it was thoughtless of me to be so unencouraging when you are, as you say, right at the start of your own personal journey

So please don't give up, and keep up the positive attitude (maybe some of it might even rub off on me  ), and really very best of luck for the follow up appt and your next cycle

Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Oh dear, think I'm about to go out on a limb here (anyone with a chain saw might want to fire it up...) 

GIAtoo, I'm sorry that any of our comments have inadvertently hurt you. However, the title of this thread really does say it all. Many of the individuals posting here regularly have reached a place where they have chosen to pursue DE conceived babies rather than no babies. I accept that for many ladies, this might be a step too far, either temporarily or forever. I might be feeling a touch over-sensitive here - so please forgive _me_ if so - but the way this discussion seems to have gone makes me feel as if my unborn donor egg conceived baby is somehow second best to having an own egg baby, an idea that I fiercely resent. Now, just as you will surely come back and say it was never your intention to foster this feeling in the slightest, ask me where it was explicitly written, and that I'm being completely over the top, I would say to you that my own comments leading up to this post were not in the slightest meant to refer to your own decision making with respect to pursuing OEIVF. They were merely in response to your initial generic post about many women choosing to pursue OEIVF despite some times low odds. These were not comments I might make on the single women's IVF thread, or the IUI thread, because the context of the discussions held on those threads is, by definition, different, and the majority of those posting on them have made their particular choices about tx, which I would always respect. They are also not comments I would make on the TWW thread, for very obvious reasons. However, on this thread, I believe they were relevant and appropriate. The timing was clearly difficult for you given that you were only a day off testing, and for that I am sorry. Nonetheless, I did not choose the timing of your post - I simply responded to it.

One last plea - hopefully this thread can return to a general debate on all things DE tx related, since those TTC using DE often don't feel they belong on any of the other singles threads. 

Apologies if I have managed to offend anyone with the foregoing.

A-Mx


----------



## Felix42

Hello all, hope everyone has had a good evening.  I'm really sorry that you've felt badly having read our discussions on this thread GIAT,  but, as Indiekiwi says our discussions on here necessarily relate to donor egg treatments and our talk about the higher odds for this treatment may therefore not be the best thing to read while going through other treatment and that's why we talk about it on here rather than on those other threads. 

Suity, not long now!  Have you had details of your donor yet?  You must be getting rather excited. 

Rose, not long for you either hunny!! 

Incidentally is anyone aware of a book for small ones covering double donor treatments?  I'd like to do some research about how to introduce the subject and when once little one has arrived.

Love and hugs, Felix xx


----------



## Damelottie

Let me know if you find one Felix


----------



## Felix42

Will do LL.  Love Alfie's new pic!!

Love and hugs, Felix xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

I think Rose has summed it up very well...there are different threads for different purposes, but at the end of the day we're all here to support eachother, whatever stage of the journey and whatever path we have each chosen

So no more bad feeling please - nobody meant to upset anyone else, and given how emotional this whole IVF journey is, it's no wonder things get a little fraught from time to time  

And GIAtoo - if you need/want advice or to chat re DE related stuff, this is the place...so do feel free to use this thread for that whenever the time is right for you  

Felix - no, no donor details yet and a rather grumpy email from Stepan in response to another query the other day (telling me he's on holiday so only to email if it's important...since I'm no mind reader he really needs to put an 'out of office' on and get someone else to answer his emails!) - so I shall wait until he's back to ask re donor details. ET is April 20th so still a couple of months to go anyway....
Not really excited yet I have to say...so much else going on - got to get through my 40th b'day first...
Also I've once again triple booked myself so I'll be spending a week in Dorset with my family, then driving to Derbyshire for a friend's 40th on the Sat night, then getting up at 7am to drive to Stansted to fly to Brno on the Sunday so it's all a bit stressful rather than exciting - typical me - why can't my calendar be more straightforward?!

Rose - when do you go? How lovely to get a sunshine holiday at the same time  

love to everyone else,
Suitcase
x


----------



## wishingforanangel

This journey does suck when it doesn't work... 

...wish it could be easier for everyone to have their baby without problems....
...wish I could say something to make things better for everyone including myself...unfortunately I don't have any words of wisdom for anyone...

Suitcase...I know that you tripled booked yourself...but nevertheless I hope you have fun and things work out for you in Brno (I am guessing your clinic is Brno...)


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

I also find the DE chats are good a great place as well

L x


----------



## RichmondLass

Keep losing posts on blackberry grrr. So short ones til I get back online. Will post more but just to say haywards heath hosp been really fab. As a positive aside everyone I have met in medical prof to date has been very supportive about double donor situation. I know some of you have had horrid problems so just wanted to pop that positive point on!  Would alos like that book if it exists.  Maybe I should write one?Xx


----------



## Violet66

Well, I had my consultation with my new clinic - Life clinic in Athens and thought I'd share the experience for those considering egg donation overseas. 

I flew out on an early flight and did it all in one day - which was a bit stressful and I wouldn't recommend. athens is further than you think!

Dr Papanikolaou worked at the ARGCC and with prof Ian Craft for many years and seems to know his stuff and was very very thorough. I had every blood test imaginable (testing hormone levels, immunity, thyroid function, STDs, rubella status, clotting ability - you name it!) before flying out and the results were all good. I had a good two hours with him and went over everything including my first failed cycle at Serum. 

Previously I had a natural cycle - which he's not a fan of. He believes I got too out of sync with my donor and that my lining was too 'mature' at the time of transfer. 

So, as much as I hate the idea of medication,  he has urged me to go for a long protocol cycle with donor eggs. As I said before my FSH, AMH etc were really good - and, coincidentally, I was just about to ovulate at the time of the appointment and he could see on the scan that the eggs (there were two!) were in good shape. In my case he said that he thought I would have a chance of conceiving with my own eggs - but, his research has indicated,  that I would still be looking at a 50% chance of miscarriage. so def not a risk taking as far as i'm concerned. 

He quoted me 4300 euros for one cycle with donor eggs and sperm - which I thought was very reasonable indeed.


----------



## Candee

Hi Violet,
Lovely to hear from you. I was wondering how you were doing.
Glad you had a such a positive meeting and hope it all goes brilliantly for you this time   
Candee
x


----------



## hjanea

Hi ladies!
I've been looking at treatment options for the last week and really feel that at 41 an attempt using my own eggs would be a waste of money.
Has anyone undergone embryo adoption abroad rather than double donation? I realise its sucess rates are less than freash donations but it also seems to be cheaper, and unfortunately cost is an issue. Any advice would be much appreciated.
Thankyou.
Helen


----------



## hjanea

Hi Cem, congratulations on your pregnancy-you must be excited! Did you go through someone(-Stepan??), directly to get them as a singleton as I believe officially they can't treat single women? I have emailed them but haven't let on that I'm single.
Thats  a really good price-I've been looking at IB in Alicante as getting a flight from here would be easy, but they are quoting E3000 for the treatment. If you can find out exact prices that would be great thankyou.
I've seen the photo of Alfie-hadn't realised he was a reprofit embryo-what a cutie!
Helen.


----------



## Damelottie

cem said:


> ps. You only have to look at LadyLottie's picture of Alfie to see that Reprofit's donor embryo's produce gorgeous babies





hjanea said:


> I've seen the photo of Alfie-hadn't realised he was a reprofit embryo-what a cutie!
> Helen.


     

Would have to agree . THANK YOU.

Yes, I would say that total cost was somewhere in the region of £1000/1500. Amazing really. xxxxx


----------



## hjanea

Thankyou Cem, I've tried to reply but your inbox is full.
H.xx


----------



## Rose39

Ladies - please may I ask a dumb question? I did the depot injection on Sunday 21st Feb (Prostap) - how long does it take before the symptoms kick in (the hot flushes etc)? I used the daily downregging injections on previous IVF cycles (buserelin) and was completely used to them, but this time it's all new and just one injection, and so I'm waiting to get the side effects to know that it has worked and I've downregged properly! 

Thanks in advance - from an anxious Rose (who is suffering from no side effects at all yet!) xx


----------



## Felix42

Hello Rose, just to let you know I had no side effects at all from the depot shot and it worked fine. 

Lots of  to you,

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Rose - me neither, no hot flushes or anything else, but it worked fine....

Good luck for this cycle  
Suitcase
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Rose I had Prostrap at CRM for a mock cycle and had no side effects either 
Good luck you are on your journey soon!


----------



## Rose39

Thanks so much ladies! It felt a bit weird just doing one injection (though straightforward to do - the clinic said it was ok to do the depot shot subcutaneously, which made it easier for me to administer) and so it's very reassuring to learn that it worked fine for you. 

Rose xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Rose have you read some of the stories on the gay and lesbian thread that the girls have done for their LO's- 

Sounds like a good idea but my situation isn't as simple know donor sperm - 2 men, egg donor etc etc-  AlsoI contacted Olvia from DCN a while back to ask if there was any lit for similar situation but there isn't so maybe they would assist with costs etc if they adopted the book as one of their resources they market?

L x


----------



## Felix42

Brilliant idea Rose! I'm up for it. My Dad has produced a few books on Lulu and they're very good quality. I've got a friend who is an artist and she might be willing to do a few illustrations once we've got a basic story together. 

Hope all other single doublies are doing well?

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Ooh sounds v interesting Rose I's be keen to help, but I don't have an ending at the moment...... They seem  very resonable (less than the price of a pregnyl shot!!)- and maybe pop on and tell the LGBT folks as well 

X


----------



## Damelottie

Wonderfu Rose   

I'd be just thrilled as I'm starting to get a bit worried about how to explain all this to LO  .

I had just looked at that other book on Lulu and then came on here and saw this  

Happy to be involved - although I can barely string a sentence together these days


----------



## hjanea

This is a brilliant idea. My dd has both a biological mum(me!) and dad now(normal conception) and sees her dad several times a week so explaining things to a new prospective child would be quite difficult. A book sounds like a great way of doing it. I think any of the formats sugested by Rose would work, probably dependent on the age of he child when they are told-ie animal if quite young, then child then the adults perspective when they are an older child and can understand better that adults have feelings and needs-believe me at 5 my daughter has no idea that I have needs and feelings!! 
Helen.x


----------



## Felix42

I'm keen on the animal idea too. I would want to introduce LO to the concept of double donor asap so a book suitable for early years would be great. 
It would be good to have mummy lion (or whoever) explaining to baby lion her story like the elephants do in the book you mentioned Rose. That way, we can say to LO, look baby lion's story is just like yours. 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Just wanted to say I think this is a lovely idea....I kind of don't know if I can contribute until I'm pregnant/have a baby (it sort of feels like posting on the bumps and babes board - just something I can't do until it's actually happening for me) but if I'm lucky enough to get a BFP on my next cycle, then I'd def be interested in a book like this  
Suitcase
x


----------



## Sasha B

Hi Ladies,

Hope you don't mind me crashing your thread. I was just reading the conversation on books and thought I'd share what has worked really well for my DD. When I was about 14 weeks pregnant I bought her blank photo album (the type you can stick things into). I type up the text in very child friendly language (1 paragraph per page) which I then stuck on one side of the page and then the other page was visual (pictures etc). In it I wrote about how she came to be, how I met and fell in love with her Dad and how he died. I also mentioned that we needed the help of a very lovely lady to make a baby as mummy didn't have any baby eggies of her own. I stuck in pictures of the family, post cards of Warsaw, plane tickets, tram tickets, photos of me in Warsaw, a leaflet from the clinic, photos of my positive pregnancy test, her scan photos and her birth announcement. She loves looking through this and as she gets older she has enjoyed hearing about her story. I found this has been invaluable as it is personal to my DD and gives her all the information she needs in an age appropriate way that she can easily understand. 

I'll check out Lulu.com. Sounds like a great idea as well.

Wishing you all the very best, those with bumps & babies and also those who are having treatment cycles coming up very soon (Rose).

love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## indekiwi

Rose, count me in - happy to contribute / make suggestions / come up with some ideas.  As you say, I suspect most people would like the option to adapt the story to their own particular situation, and again, as suggested by Felix and Coco, the age of the child may dictate whether animal or human babies are used to tell the story.  I'm not sure whether we have anyone in our midst whose double donor children are older than LL's Alfie?  One factor that does stand out for me arises from the questions / statements I now get pretty regularly from poppet - he recognises the lack of a father in our family, because he sees other families with mother and father, but because mum (on her own) is very clearly in the picture, he has obviously never questioned whether there could be another woman involved.  At four years old, he has not yet asked how the baby got into my tummy - but is intensely interested on how it will emerge.  In a sense, although I have never hidden the story of his conception, I also haven't pre-empted a conversation that I hope will come out naturally rather than be forced upon him.  Not sure if I've explained that very well   but the upshot of it is that one of the reasons I am not keen on the DCN publications is that it forces a conversation that, in a traditional family structure, might not come up naturally for a number of years yet.  On this basis - very personal to me obviously in terms of the timing of telling - I guess I would like a general story line that can be adapted to telling a slightly older child, rather than babies who, by the time they are starting to understand what is being said to them, will be more developed than the story line and how it is articulated.  I realise I might be in a minority of one on this score as others might want to start from day dot - and that's great as it gives mums the chance to practice what they say and get used to the words even if the child concerned doesn't understand for a few years thereafter - but just thought I'd give my two pennies worth in case it resonates with others.  

Hope everyone is keeping well - Suity, Rose, Violet, I suspect you're all just about on your way and I so hope that there are three more happy personal stories about to emerge on the DE thread!  

A-Mx


----------



## Damelottie

Coco - Yes, I agree about the baby/child instead of the animal.

Inde - I understand completely what you were trying to say. I had a similar problem explaining it recently on a Tell The Child thread on here somewhere. I am mostly comfortable with the lack of daddy and what to say about that, but I am just flumoxed about the egg donor/double donor part. Try as I might I just can't think of a way to explain that in child friendly terms  

LL xx


----------



## Sasha B

Coco, I am so sorry to hear that you had such a traumatic time with your DS' father leaving when you were 7 weeks pregnant and I totally understand that you want to protect him for any hurt or pain. I think what you are doing by focussing on all the positive relationships in your son's life is really good. Obviously there will always be a curiousity and even a longing to know about his father, but I'm sure you you will gage how much information will be appropriate to share and when.  And you're right, the conversation will probably not be an easy one but I do agree with you that its best to be honest.   to you.

Sasha xxx


----------



## cocochanel1

Thanks Sasha for your really sweet reply.

Coco xxx


----------



## aweeze

New home this way ===> http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=229890.0


----------



## aweeze

New home ladies


----------



## Felix42

Thanks Lou!  Let's hope there are lots of new doublies on here soon!

Love and hugs to all, Felix xx


----------



## hjanea

Hello! Just bookmarking!
H.xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Just marking our new home

Suitcase
x


----------



## eternal optimist

Hello ladies... Im looking for some advice of double donation


----------



## indekiwi

Hello EO, welcome and feel free to ask away!  

A-Mx


----------



## eternal optimist

Can I ask you, from initial phone call to a positive result how long did it take and how much did it cost?


----------



## indekiwi

EO, I called CRM in early May 2009, had my consultation and counselling session by the end of May, was told of my match and had my planning meeting in August, had my treatment in October and got my BFP in mid November.  That makes 6 1/2 months all up.  Total costs were in the region of £9k - however this included extra costs for 2 year storage of frosties (£600), which I was lucky to get, taking the embies to blastocyst stage (another £450), and an extra £900 for ICSI (rather than IVF), all of which are variables that would differ cycle to cycle.  At the time, CRM were quoting success rates of over 58%, making them one of the top 3 clinics in the country.  However, due to this success, a lot of interest has been generated with the result that the wait list is now being quoted at around 6 - 9 months, rather than the 3 - 6 months as at the middle of last year.  Note also that the overall cost does include my meds (which I did not get from CRM but from an independent clinic at half the price) but does not include donor sperm costs (which I had bought separately three years ago).  If you have more interest in CRM, there is a thread on the first page of the donor egg and sperm board which is dedicated to DE recipients at that particular clinic.

Hope this helps!

A-Mx


----------



## eternal optimist

thank you so much for that information.... good luck to you and your lil miracle


----------



## eternal optimist

have spent the last 3 days navigating this site..... wow, how glad I am that I found it.... just so wish i could have my treatment soon...... but looks like at least a 12 month wait for me......    how am I going to last that long


----------



## provencein3

Hi Ladies, I'm single in Australia and looking at the possibility of going OS for donor eggs.  Too tired to read through all these posts, as its indeed overwhelming on a first look.  Will spend some more time later.  Worried about the anonymity aspect however as have anon sperm donor.


----------



## wishingforanangel

provencein3 - Hello...Not sure where you are looking into overseas but I think it seems the only place you would have a problem with anonymity is in the UK. It seems most countries have no problem with donors...although in Canada you will have to obtain your own egg donor and sperm donor. From what I understand the Canadians don't offer any sort of anonymous donor situation. Here in the United States the expense is absolutely outrageous...but I suppose the cost will go down if you do multiple cycles and purchase some sort of IVF package at a Clinic.


----------



## RichmondLass

EO

I my case I phoned clinic (Institute Marques)  in April, had appointment end April with consultant and geared up for first cycle and transfer early June, so very quick.  i think they quote transfer within ten weeks or so of consult to synch your cycle with donor etc.  Probably quicker if you're adopting frozen embies?  However, I had to cancel my first cycle due to bleeding so actually had transfer 3 July.  Even so, nice and quick!  Basic cost was £8,000 plus travel to Barcelona, plus meds (c£300) and frostie storage etc.  At that point they quoted 48 to 60% success with fresh eggs and donor sperm and c45% success with frozen embies.

All in all if I include the cost of lining scans at Roehampton plus the tests I had in advance at CRM and the fact I also paid to go on CRM's sperm and egg waiting list although I cancelled these as decided to go abroad, I've probably spent over £10k.  

Worth every penny but I don't have that kind of money to spend again sadly!

RLxxx


----------



## indekiwi

Provincein 3, welcome!  I have an anonymous sperm donor, but ID release egg donor (for my second bub; the first is an own egg production.  )  There is quite a lot of information on different countries where single women can have donor egg tx on this thread and the donor egg thread that precedes it (scroll down the singles board page - it may be on page 2 now as it was closed off some weeks ago).  If you have any questions or are looking for further information, ask away.  

A-Mx


----------



## provencein3

indekiwi you sound the same as me. I actually have two children - first is my own eggs, second in known donor, ID release came in here after she donated to me. Subsequent transfers didn't produce a take home baby and she wouldn't donate. Its quite hard to get donors here, and particulaly as I'm single *and* already have children, I don't tend to fit the picture of what donors are looking for.

I know a lady who transported her sperm to Kiev. She also looked as SA but found it more expensive. I would think if i went to Kiev, there would definitely be no chance of tracing the donor if my child so desired. Wishingforanangel, I'm actually wanting ID release.


----------



## indekiwi

Provincein3, 

To my knowledge, no one on the singles thread is currently having treatment in the Ukraine, though there have certainly been a few on the donor egg and sperm, and over 40s boards.  I don't believe anywhere in continental Europe provides ID release egg donors, but I'm sure someone else will put me right if this is incorrect information.   

In the UK, where ID release is the legal requirement, most donors are egg sharers - ie, recipients pay both for the donor's own IVF tx and their own in return of half the eggs produced during the cycle (and predicated on a minimum four eggs being available for the use of the recipient).  The wait lists in the UK at private clinics is between three and nine months.  The NHS will not treat single women, those over 40 or those who already have a child - so I was never going to get a look in!    Altruistic donors are few and far between here but to be honest (having had two DE cycles, the first with an altruistic donor and the second with an egg sharer), the women concerned produced the same amount of eggs for me (nine) and the quality of resulting embryos for the latter was much better (two blasts transferred, three more frozen.  I posted something about the time lines and price lists for my clinic in the UK some time last week (scroll back if you are interested) and from memory so did Suitcase with respect to a second clinic here in the UK.  

A-Mx


----------



## provencein3

we don't have egg shares here.  Its actually not allowed though I have heard of the odd case where it has happened.

Waiting lists for altruisic egg donors are quoted as 12 mths - 5 years.  Small population.   I do know of people that have received under that time  The age restrictions for receipt of donor eggs is 52 and some clinics put a restriction of 45 yrs on donor embies.


----------



## wishingforanangel

provencein3 said:


> Wishingforanangel, I'm actually wanting ID release.


aah. I guess if you decide to do this in the States (although crazy expensive) it is possible to have donor id release in terms of the egg donor. You would have to work it out with her and yourself (through your attorneys (she will have one and you will have your own)- basically you go back and forth in terms of what you both are expecting) and then write up a legal contract.


----------



## provencein3

I think I might do a major advertising blitz here and try and find a local donor.


----------



## RichmondLass

Provencein3 where are you posting from?  it doesn't say on your signature etc.  RLx


----------



## provencein3

Australia

Sorry I'll update the signature.


----------



## some1

Hello

Just butting in on this thread to let you know I have Just posted on the 'articles in media on single women' thread about a raffle (!) that Bridge Centre are conducting to win a donor egg cycle in the US worth up to £13,000.  Not very good taste, but a wonderful prize for the winner!

Some1

xx


----------



## indekiwi

Not sure if anyone else heard it, but the Moral Maze on Radio 4 just discussed the ethics behind "designer" eggs and being able to pay for characteristics that recipients value. It was a surprisingly (for this particular programme) balanced (dare I say it, positive) discussion.  It was prompted by the raffle run by the Bridge that Some1 mentioned above.

Rose, I believe you're heading out to SA tomorrow so wanted to wish you all the luck in the world for this cycle.      

Finally, on the topic of telling stories for double donation babes, the DCN has just sent out some suggested language for a book.  I know some people are members of DCN and will likely have received the text to provide feedback, but if any non-members want to have a squizz, PM me and I will forward a copy.  Seems particularly apt timing given RL's new arrival and Felix's soon to be here bub.  

A-Mx


----------



## Rose39

Hello from sunny Cape Town! Trip has gone really smoothly so far - and the guest house where I'm staying brings mugs of hot chocolate to your room to wake you up in the morning, before you come down to your proper breakfast... how nice is that!!

Very tired though.... will finish unpacking, have a nap and post a bit more later.

Is there any news on Felix? Keeping fingers and toes crossed that all is going well.

Rose xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Rose - just popped on to wish you all the luck in the world honey x x x


----------



## lulumead

that sounds lovely Rose...have a great time and crossing everything for you.x


----------



## cocochanel1

Hi Rose - fantastic that you have arrived. I am missing you on s/t - keep looking for you and then remember you are in SA. I am keeping everything crossed for you hun. Hot chocolate in the mornings yum yum yum. Coco xxxxxx


----------



## indekiwi

_Rose, glad that you've arrived and are effectively on the count down to ET...wishing you all the luck in the world.

A-Mx_


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Rose, so glad you've arrived safely. Hope all goes well and wishing you the very best for ET
Suitcase
x


----------



## OneStepAtATime

Rose - glad to hear you arrived safely. Wishing you all the best for ET    

Hoping that this cycle is "the one"  
Take care
OneStep


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Rose, sending       your way, hoping this is the lucky one!
Have a great stay in SA, that wake-up call sounds lovely!
Jovi xx


----------



## bingbong

Rose I can't tell you how much I wish I was there with you!!! I really hope that everything goes well for you and you have an amazing holiday as well as everything else!!  

bingbong x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Rose thinking about you and really hope that this is the cycle that brings your baby

L


----------



## cocochanel1

OOO Inde I like the clover leaf! xxx


----------



## Rose39

Thank you for all the kind wishes - much appreciated!

Scan went ok today (lining 10.1mm) and donor's EC set for Monday. Feeling relieved that everything is on track but very nervous hoping that there will be a decent number of eggs and a good fert rate. Trying to take a day at a time!

I distracted myself for the rest of the day with a trip to the Waterfront and wandered around the shops with no deadlines and nothing to have to rush off and do (which is so unusual for me and very relaxing) .... sat outside with a picnic lunch watching the world go by and then had fish dinner in one of the restaurants overlooking Table Mountain. 

Back in the B&B now and heading off to bed - night ladies!  Will post properly and do personals tomorrow. 

Rose xx


----------



## Sima

Hi Rose - I'm glad you arrived safely and are taking some time to enjoy the sights of Cape Town.  I went there for a few days 2 years ago and thought it was a beautiful city.  All the best for tomorrow.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for a good crop and an excellent fertilisation rate.  You deserve it.

Sima x


----------



## Violet66

Really hope it's your turn this time Rose.

Sounds like you're in the most amazing location. get lets of rest. good luck


----------



## Candee

Hey Rose
So glad all is going well! How did you find the clinic? Isn't Dr LR the best!
Keeping everything crossed for you for Monday.
LOL
Candee
x


----------



## lulumead

thinking of you Rose...it sounds lovely out there. Getting some much needed R&R has to be a good thing too.
xxx


----------



## Rose39

Thank you for all the good wishes ladies!!!

Candee - Dr LR is an absolute sweetheart! So kind, gentle and patient. He put me immediately at my ease. I said that he had come highly recommended (by you!) and he remembered both you and your mum! Dr H will be doing my ET, haven't been introduced yet, but he was wandering around reception while I was there. 

I really do feel the difference having a proper holiday before ET ... I had a wonderful breakfast on the B&B terrace overlooking the harbour and mountains, then went to a service in the beautiful thatched roof church nearby, and spent much of this afternoon reading and doing my travel journal in a comfy lounger by the pool. Was chatting with a bunch of guys from the UK navy who were on a few days' leave (there is a naval base nearby), staying in the B&B and they were topping up their tans by the pool too, so generally nice way to spend a Sunday!   Have just got back from early dinner in a fab cafe by the beach which does really nice deli style food (as well as lovely hot chocolate!), then I went to the bakery on my way to the B&B and bought some cake to have in my room!  

Tomorrow I shall be pacing about the floor until I get the phone call from the clinic, then it may very well be a lying by the pool (not really warm enough for swimwear, but warm enough for shorts and t-shirt) and knitting day! (I am determined to learn how to do more than one  jumper pattern while I am here!). There is supposed to be a really good spa within a 5 minute walk of the B&B so I may check that out and have a couple of treatments before ET so I'm really relaxed. Am sleeping like a log here - much better than at home. Must be all the sea air!  

Hope to have good news to post tomorrow!   
Rose xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Rose really hoping and praying tomorrow goes well
L x


----------



## midnightaction

*Rose* It sounds wonderful there and it seems so lovely and relaxing, just what you need during such a stressful time 

Best of luck for that all important call tomorrow, I am sure that every minute will feel like an hour coz thats how it felt for me last week  I have everything crossed for some wonderful embies for you 

Sarah xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Good luck for tomorrow Rose, hope it's good news  

I'm off to Dr Gorgy's tomorrow to sort out immunes for my cycle and to have depot shot....so I suppose that's me 'officially' kicking off my next attempt although I'm sort of in denial really....I'm much happier when not thinking about IVF  

Suitcase
x


----------



## blueytoo

Rose - it sounds wonderful! I am very interested in combining a nice holiday with tx so have been considering South Africa for my next IVF. Good luck   

Suity - that has come around fast!! Good luck   

Claire xx


----------



## cocochanel1

Rose, wow could we just be transported out to join you please - it sounds so wonderful! Pool, cake, knitting and the navy all in one day!!!

Wishing you loads of luck for tomorrow - I'm sure it will go well. 

Suity, good luck with Dr Gorgy.

Love Coco xxx


----------



## Rose39

Suity - good luck for today! Hope everything goes well.   

News from me is that my donor did amazingly well - 25 eggs!!!! I got the call a couple of hours ago and am still on cloud 9! That's roughly the same number of eggs as I had in 3 whole cycles of IVF! Keeping fingers crossed for a good fert rate - having ICSI - will get the call tomorrow.    

Did the first nasty contortionist gestone injection just now - wish I'd kept up with the yoga to be able to bend more supply and inject into my own bum! 

Glorious weather here today so am going to flop by the pool with my knitting. Have had banana pancakes with yogurt and honey for breakfast this morning... you can't help but be in a positive frame of mind after that! I have to say that this is definitely the way to do a tx cycle! 

Happy Monday all!
From a relieved and hopeful Rose xx


----------



## bingbong

already said it Rose but        I'm so happy for you and really hope that you get wonderful news tomorrow. Sounds like you have a lovely day planned, I think that there are going to be quite a few singlies going to SA for tx cos you're making us all jelous  

Suity I hope that your appt with Dr Gorgy goes well, wishing you the best for this cycle   

bingbong x


----------



## indekiwi

Rose, that's amazing news!     Your donor has done you proud.     Will be     for good fertilisation rates - and that you can continue in the same relaxed, holiday mood, (feeling very jealous of your banana pancakes and knitting by the pool routine!).  Fingers and toes are crossed for you hun.   

Suity,    

A-Mx


----------



## Candee

Rose 25 is brilliant! Keeping everything crossed for you!
Don't forget to go and see the wild penguins!
Take care
Candee
x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Rose, that's great news, hope you get fab fertilisation rates too   Sounds like you are having a lovely relaxing time over there....

...unlike me! Very stressful day today as due to have depot shot, which I had asked Dr Gorgy to do and his receptionist had said this would be fine. Anyway, I rather naively assumed he would have the shot at his office, but no, he just gave me a prescription which no chemist could fill because it's expensive and they don't keep it in stock. So after rushing round several chemists in the Oxford St area, I gave up and called LWC and begged them to help. Which they fortunately did, and without charging any kind of consultation fee either which was a big relief. My own fault for not double checking the details with Dr G but stress I could do without!
Am now booked in for the ivig/intrallipids as well, so at least it's sorted, although it will mean giving up one day of my family holiday in Dorset to drive up there, have drip, drive back - again I could do without it but somehow the timing just never seems to work out for me. Every time I say I'm going to make sure nothing clashes, and then it always does  
Am really over all this to be honest, all this rushing around, and stress, not to mention expense, and it just feels like it's a waste of time really...sorry folks, not feeling v positive today at all  

Suitcase
x


----------



## bingbong

Suity just wanted to send you a big   sounds like quite a day. So pleased that you got the depot shot sorted in the end  

bingbong x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Rose that is fantastic news

Suity how stressful for you.

L x


----------



## Rose39

Suity - so sorry that you had such a stressful day with the depot shot. At least it's out of the way now and another hurdle done with. Hoping that everything goes much more smoothly from now onwards. Sending you a big hug hunny    .

Thanks for the sightseeing suggestions ladies! I actually went to Boulders Beach last time I was here (loved the penguin honking noises!) but succumbed this time to a cuddly toy penguin (and giraffe!) in a gift shop in the Waterfront.... hoping to give them pride of place in my nursery if all goes well, but if it doesn't then they will be lovely memories of a nice holiday. People are so lovely and chatty here ( the village where I'm staying is full of interesting and unique arty and vintage shops - amazing clothes, shoes and handcrafted gifts) that I don't feel like I'm on my own - it's certainly not lonely.

Cem - yes the clinic prefers to go to blast - it moves their success rate with DE from 60% to 70% if they go to blast, but it's still a pretty good success rate! There is a 20% chance of twins with 2 blasts, but I think I'd still go for having 2 put back - this will be my 7th tx and I want to maximise my chances of getting a BFP.

I came back to the B&B after dinner to discover that there is a box full of fleecy hot waterbottles for guests to take, if they want to snuggle up to something warm in bed! How thoughtful!  

Will post with fert rate tomorrow - hoping I can sleep in spite of the excitement!
Rose xx


----------



## lulumead

great news Rose, you are making SA sound very appealing  

suity  . sorry its been a crap day, hope tomorrow is better.  We'll keep up a PMA for you, much easier to do for others than for ourselves sometimes  

xx


----------



## indekiwi

Suity,       

CEM, haven't started the new project - trying to finish the last one first and the lack of a swimming pool and naval types to ogle as I turn the needles is definitely not helping (Rose, I'm sure you're on to something there   )

Violet, have you decided when you will do your next cycle?

A-Mx


----------



## Sasha B

Hi Ladies,

Sorry for gate crashing. Just wanted to say YIPEEEEEE!!! to Rose. 25 eggs is fantastic. I'll be    for them all to fertilize & go from strength to strength. So very excited for you.

Suitcase   . I remember you from Reprofit. Wishing you all the very best for your upcoming cycle. Sorry to hear you are feeling so stressed. I found that that the stress levels and just the general anxiety increased with each cycle that I had. Don't worry about not being positive, just be honest with yourself. It won't affect the outcome by one iota. Plus you can let others on here be postive for you. That's what FF is all about.

Hi to Coco & all the other ladies on this thread.

love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## Rose39

Thank you for all the lovely messages! I've just had the call from the clinic - 15 eggs injected, 9 fertilised. ET will be Thursday or Saturday - will find out on Thursday morning which day it is! Feeling excited and nervous! Keeping fingers and toes crossed that they all progress really well. 

Coco - highly recommend knitting! Will PM you with the details of the wool website I use - a fraction of the price of John Lewis and other traditional shops. 

Suity - hope you're feeling a bit better today.   

Rose xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Rose that's great news   Hope those little embies continue to go well over the next few days and good luck for transfer

Thanks everyone for the kind words and positivity. I do feel a bit better today and have just been for a run out in the sunshine which helped a lot (not sure how I am going to survive the 2WW without running as it makes me feel so much better, but I know I'm not allowed to run then...)
Working from home today and lunching with a friend who lives nearby so that will be good too. 

Suitcase
x


----------



## cocochanel1

Rose, said it on text but wow great news - keeping everything crossed for you hun xxxx


----------



## indekiwi

Rose, nine fighting embies - yay!!!       

Suity, glad you are feeling a little happier today and lunch with a friend certainly makes the world seem a much better place.     Though if you could send some of that sunshine you mentioned this way I would be mighty grateful - tis dismal here and I am facing eight months of filing.    

Hi Sasha.    I see your EDD is about 10 days before mine.  Hope everything is progressing nicely for you.

Coco, sending more     in case you need them today.

A-Mx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Inde - clouding over already here, think I got the best of the sunshine on my early morning run, looks like rain for the rest of the day  
Hope the filing goes well!

Suitcase
x


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Rose - that's fab news!!!  It does sound very lovely out there, hope you have had another lovely day  

Suity glad you're feeling a bit better - well done on the running, I'm not doing very well on the exercise front I'm afraid, just can't keep up the motivation - I just do not enjoy it at all!  Think your ET is planned for my birthday


----------



## bingbong

Rose any news today?  

bingbong x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thinking of you Rose, hope all is going well   

I've been feeling very off colour since Monday. Not sure if it's somehow related to the depot shot, or just a bug I picked up from the kids last weekend. No sneezing/runny nose or anything, but achy, tired and sore throat. Had to sleep at lunchtime yesterday which is very unusual for me, so must be ill! Bit better today but taking it easy at home rather than going in to the office. Hate being ill  

Love to everyone else,
Suitcase
x


----------



## cocochanel1

Poor you Suity - hope you feel better soon.
Rose, thinking of you and hoping it is all going well today - I'm guessing you may be having the transfer today?
Coco xxx


----------



## RichmondLass

Rose - lots and lots of luck!  Suity hope you feel better soon.
RLxx


----------



## 3babies

Hi ya ladies  just book marking this page for future reference 


2babies x


----------



## Rose39

Hello ladies - quick update from me. I don't think that the text messages I sent today to a couple of FFers actually got through... I can receive texts but they don't seem to send properly.

Transfer will be on Saturday morning - 8 embies are developing well so we're going to blast! Have never gone to blast before so very exciting!
Had a bit of an icky tummy last night - combination of nerves and different food... fine now though and bought some probiotic capsules and yoghurt today so will be on top form again for Saturday! 

Off to bed in a minute!

Rose xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Rose that is geat news- are you having 2 or 3 back? I hope that your tummy settles down.  ARe you having acupuncture with ET.

Thinking of you

L x


----------



## indekiwi

Rose, whoop!  I really hope that all eight go on to develop spectacularly well.    Stay well hun, Saturday will be here before you know it!    

A-Mx


----------



## Rose39

Thanks for the good wishes! I'll be having 2 put back - the clinic doesn't normally put more than 2 blasts as they already have a 70% success rate and the risk of multiples would be pretty high with 3. I won't be having acupuncture this time - mainly because of logistics, in that I'd need to get a taxi across from the clinic as I didn't hire a car, and I'm not sure where the nearest acupuncturist is. I have my hypnotherapy CD with me, but to be honest I've been chilling out so much versus what I usually do in the UK (no work deadlines, no housework to do, and the most amazing fresh unpolluted sea air) that I'm sleeping really well anyway, so I'm not using it as much (I think I can recite the content off my heart now anyway!).

Rose xx


----------



## bingbong

Rose that's great news, I'm so happy that you are going to blast. Sounds like you are having such an amazing time   shame about those texts though  

Suity hope you are feeling better soon  

bingbong x


----------



## Rose39

1 day to go till ET! I've had some kind of allergic reaction overnight and have a red rash on my tummy and back.... don't think it's anything to worry about but have called the clinic just in case. Am now wishing I'd booked more time here rather than coming back home on Wednesday - it's so lovely and restful and I sleep so much better than at home. Meeting a friend later who lives in the area for tea, which will be nice!

Suity - hoping you're feeling much better hunny.   

Quick update - the doctor has called me and thinks that I may be allergic to gestone! If so I'll need to switch to crinone gel - have any of you been on crinone? What's it like to use? They are going to check me tomorrow and make the decision. 

Rose xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Rose - sorry to hear about the gestone allergy, I've nevre used crinone so can't help, but hope you get it sorted out OK tomorrow and wishing you loads of luck for ET   
Enjoy these last few days of holiday before the dreaded 2WW sets in!

I'm feeling much better today thanks, went for a run this morning so must be back to form....or mad! 

Have a good weekend,
Suitcase
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

rose you poor soul- haven't you had gestone before? I thought you did. Best of Luck and I hope that it resolves.

I got  a call from CRM they have a donor for me, we have to decide by Mon, she has same colouring as us hairwise, different coloured eyes but that is fine, is my height but slimmer!! she is unproven and in her late 20's. She is a carrier of a recessive gene, but I think my donor was tested for it way back and was negative and if so it wouldn't be a problem.

L x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Fantastic news JJ - what a lovely way to start the weekend, so pleased they have a donor for you  

Good luck for tomorrow Rose

Suitcase
x


----------



## Candee

Hi everyone
JJ1 that is good that you have had an egg donor found for you - lots of luck to you and your donor in coming to a decision on whether to go forward with her. I will be keeping everything crossed for you both - it is nice for you to have a donor to make decisions with you. Although I always discussed things with my mum, its not quite the same  

Rose I am sorry the gestone is giving you a hard time. I hated the injections myself and it was the one time in my life I was glad I had had a big fat bum        I imagine if you are a little skinny one it must be awful. 
Will be keeping everything crossed for your transfer    

Suity, brilliant to hear you feeling better      

Hi to Bingbong, CEM, LL, Lulumead, Violet, Inde, 2babies, RL, Coco, Jovi, SashaB 

LOL

Candee


----------



## lulumead

great news JJ1 about donor.
Hope rash clears up Rose and good luck with ET   

xxx


----------



## Candee

Aweeze, I missed you off my hellos!   So sorry! Blame baby brain! I am certainly not at my best at the mo -
I am the size of a whale, just not so graceful and getting to the point were being so uncomfortable is now taking priority over worries about how the birth will go! Bring it on!
Candee
x


----------



## indekiwi

Rose, I've never used crinone either but surely it has to be better than gestone?!    I hope the rash fades over night.  Wishing you a gentle transfer tomorrow.    

JJ1,    !!!  It has taken too long to get to this stage.    Good luck with your deliberations over the weekend.  

Candee, wow, not so long now hun.  Hope you're sleeping okay so that at least you get some respite from the discomfort.    

Suity, glad you're feeling better in all senses.    You really are packing quite a bit in missus!

A-Mx


----------



## Annaleah

Just quickly popping on to wish Rose lots of positive orange thoughts for transfer.  I had crinone gel for one of my FETs and it was ok. The preparation I used came in a pre filled applicatior  The only problem I had was with it building up internally (sorry TMI) which is quite common apparently. I requested to switch to cyclogest for my next cycle which I preferred.  I hope the rash has cleared and that someone managed to work out what caused it. 

JJ - good news abotu the potential donor

Hi to everyone else
Annaleaxxxx


----------



## Sharry

Hi Rose

Just doing my Moding duties when I read your post about crinone I used it and apart from the build up which was not the nicest I had no problems using it.

Wishing you lots of luck

Sharry x


----------



## Rose39

JJ - fantastic news about the donor! Good luck in your discussions this weekend hunny   .

Suity - glad that you're feeling better!

Thank you so much for the info about the crinone - the doctor checked me out this morning and the rash had got a lot better overnight, so the gestone continues! I bought a couple of boxes here as it's cheaper than the UK. 

I've just posted on the 2WW board - ET went extremely smoothly this morning. I have 2 good blasts on board and 3, possibly 4 blasts to freeze, which I'm really pleased about. Am mooching about the guest house this afternoon - the reception has a big circular sofa (like a bed almost!) full of cushions, so I'm flopping there as I type, listening to Katie Melua CDs - very relaxing! So wished I'd booked to stay longer!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Rose xx


----------



## Annaleah

Rose - excellent news on the transfer.  Hope you have a relaxing few days and good trip home on Wednesday.  
Annaleah xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Fab news Rose, congrats on being PUPO and all the very best for the journey home and the rest of the 2WW

OK, bit of a me post now...am having a dilemma. Have been sent details of potential egg donor for upcoming cycle. Specifically requested same colouring as me (ie blue eyes, red/blonde hair) Double checked this at time of booking as I know red hair not easy to match and was told it would not be a problem. Now, with barely more than 3 weeks to EC (15th April), the donor being suggested has brown hair. And is older than I would like at 29yrs, although is proven....which I guess is a good thing....

I just don't feel happy about the brown hair though - am I overreacting in not feeling comfortable with this donor do you think? I know we all say that once the baby is here, it doesn't matter at all, but I did specifically point out my colouring at time of booking the cycle and requested a good physical match for hair and eye colour. Am more than a bit annoyed that I was told this was OK when I booked but now they aren't delivering on that...

I'm feeling really pressured because it's so close to the start of the cycle - I can't delay it but at the same time I don't want to accept a donor I don't feel 100% OK with.

What to do

Have not replied to the email from the clinic yet - think I need to sleep on it but gut reaction is to say no....but then what if they can't find a better match?

AGHHHHH....
Suitcase
x


----------



## bingbong

suity what about if the sperm donor has blonde hair? Then it would be one brown and one blonde, so like you with a brown haired partner just coming from the other way round if that makes sense. So sorry that you didn't get the match you wanted.

Bingbong x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

thanks girls

BB - yes, chose blond sperm donor, but the point is that I am red headed and I specifically asked S about this when I first booked my cycle and he said it wouldn't be a problem (which I was surprised about tbh because red hair is only 3% of UK population and I would imagine similar in CZ, but since he said no probs, that's what I believed and hence why now somewhat disappointed)

think you are right Cem, I need to trawl through old emails and see if I can find the one about this, so I can query it with him

why is nothing ever simple?  

Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Suity, this has always been an important factor for you - I would go with CEM's suggestion and ask what alternative Reprofit has for you to consider.  

Keep your chin up hun, this may well be a hiccup not an insurmountable obstacle to a successful match and, ultimately, positive conclusion to this cycle.    

Rose, hope you're doing okay.      

A-Mx


----------



## bingbong

big hug suity. he shouldn't of said he could do your colouring if he couldn't, I was just trying to find a positive. I really hope that you can sort something that you are happy with without too much stress. 

Bingbong x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks girls, suspect this may well be less about the donor details per se, and more just about the ongoing process of using donor eggs. Not that I am in any way saying I'm not sure about DE, but at every step of the way it's like you are re-confronting all those issues about not being able to use your own eggs  

Rationally I know it's silly to get hung up on this. Some kids look like one or both of their parents, some don't. If I had had a child with my own eggs it may or may not have looked like me/had red hair - depending on the other half.... In a bizarre kind of way I wonder if having no donor details might be better than having a few and getting obsessed about them....I need to try to somehow project forward to the point at which the baby is here (well, assuming by some miracle it works...) and remind myself that I won't care then what colour its hair/eyes are....

That said it's really frustrating when you think you have agreed something and I am a bit worried how close to EC it is and find myself wondering if the clinic really are becoming victims of their own success and not managing the volume of patients very well...think I will at least email and ask if there is an alternative option as if I don't I will probably regret it/not feel 100% happy to go ahead

Thanks for the support...
Suitcase
x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

thanks Cem....slept OK  
emailed to ask re alternative donors, so let's see what happens. I know it's silly to get hung up on it, but I just feel a bit let down because I did specifically check in advance....
oh well, let's see what S comes back with this eve

Suitcase
x


----------



## Rose39

Suity - hoping that you get a swift response from Stepan and that he can find a donor that you're more comfortable with.     

Rose xx


----------



## Sasha B

Rose,

Just popping in to sat all the very best with your 2ww. I'll be    for a big fat BFP!!! Feel free to PM me anytime as I know the second half of the 2ww in particular can be harder.

Lots of love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Ho hum, not terribly helpful. Response to my request for alternative donor was met with:
"Hair color is not inheritable directly are you aware of this??"

...which rather misses the point. If IVF were a rational process then this would be relevant, but since we all know it's not, then it's really not helpful. The point is that I want a donor who matches my physical characteristics, I said this from the start, was effectively told not a problem and only now with barely more than 2 weeks to donor egg collection I am being told there isn't a match, and worse in my opinion the above question kind of implies that I'm stupid to be asking for that match anyway because it won't make a difference...like I said, if this was a rational process....

So as you can see I'm not a very happy bunny, and shall be responding accordingly I'm afraid  

Suitcase
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Oh suity how frustrating!!! surely hair colour if you start off similar might have a higher chance as being inheirited!!! I agree he shoudl have told you straight from the start if hair colour was going to be a problem for them.

Good luck
L x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

JJ- exactly! with hair colour you inherit 4 alleles from each parent so there are lots of possible combinations. However as you say, if you start off with a certain hair colour you are much more likely to have a child with that colouring
My gt grandfather, grandfather, mother, aunts and sisters all had/have red hair...so there's clearly some level of inheritance going on  

That said, it's not so much that I want to guarantee a child with my colouring (because I might not have got one of those if I'd been ttc naturally with a partner anyway, especially if I'd ended up with someone quite dark) -  but more that because I can't use my own eggs, I guess I want the donor to be as 'like' me as possible. May sound silly to some, but it's important to me and that's what I want S to understand....nothing rational in this at all, it's purely emotional...

Same as those people who want donors with uni degrees - we all know there's no guarantee that will give you an intelligent/academic child, but for some people it's just something which matters to them

And as you say, what is most frustrating is that I queried it at the beginning and was told no problem....and now time has pretty much run out and I will I think be forced to accept this donor as otherwise it will be too late - I start progynova tomorrow and donor EC is April 15th

Will see what he says in response to my latest email - which basically said in a more simple way what I have said above....and asked again for an alternative donor. If none is available then I will of course go ahead and I know I will love the child whatever happens....

Suitcase
x


----------



## Rose39

Suity - I'm not surprised that you're not a happy bunny.... it feels like the goalposts have been moved without your knowledge, and you've always said that matching the donor to your physical characteristics was very important. Yes red hair is a recessive gene, but as JJ1 says, at least if the donor has red hair there is a higher chance of it being inherited. As you just posted, I'm one of the people who looked for educational background in my donor, and if this had changed at the last minute I wouldn't have been at all pleased.

I'd be sending a very strongly worded email if I were in your position - you've had enough stress with this so far hunny. Hoping that you can come to a resolution that you're more comfortable with.   

Rose xx


----------



## indekiwi

Suity,    .  I understand exactly why you feel so angry and upset by this turn of events.  It's infuriating when anyone over-promises and under-delivers, but particularly when so much emotion and money is involved.      It is irrelevant that the clinic doesn't see what the big deal is or why it's so important to you, the fact is that they said they could deliver and now they are reneging or changing the terms unilaterally on the verge of your tx, when it would be an extremely difficult decision for you to pull out.  Nothing like a bit of insensitivity to rub in to the wound.     I really feel for you.  

A-Mx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Suity My friend has bright red hair her husband a mousey brown and all 3 of her children are little gingers too so its clearly carried on in her family.  Her own parents are blonde and dark but there was an aunt with bright red hair.

I hope that Stephan brings some good news for you

Rose have a safe trip home with your precious cargo!!
L x


----------



## Baby Blue

Just a quick reply as I'm at work ...

I'm so sorry to read this Suitcase.  I would feel the same.  Its not fair on you at all to make this kind of change at the last minute  .

I'm just wondering if Reprofit now have a license to accept sperm from Xytec in the US (they had one previously).  Maybe one of their open donors has red hair. It might be worth a look.  Or you could try the European Sperm Bank? I think there would still just be enough time to import ready for your treatment.

Best wishes,

Baby Blue .


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks Baby Blue - it's actually the egg donor which is the problem not the sperm donor....S replied earlier (unusual to get a reply during the day so I think the stress in my previous message got through!) and said to await a revised match, so we'll see....not anticipating they can match the red hair at such short notice, but I'll settle for blonde/blue eyes if not...just need to feel comfortable with the donor and I don't with this one....

Trying not to get too stressed about it, have got sign language exam at 4pm today for which I am totally unprepared, but can't seem to focus on that with everything else going on...oh well, can always re-take!

Thanks again everyone for your kind words, I seem doomed never to have a 'straightforward' and worry free tx cycle - mind you does such a thing even exist?!

Suitcase
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Good Luck with the exam- something to detract from the TTC stress!!!
L x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi cem,

yes, got back to me with a blonde/blue eyed donor so better although disappointed re lack of red hair...especially as we had (at least as far as I believed) agreed this from the very start  
also donor is 31 which feels old - my UK donors were 29 and 31 and it didn't work with them so a little worried that I haven't got a younger donor. Lots of the women on the Reprofit thread seem to go back and ask for a younger donor, but I don't feel I can ask for a 3rd option - especially as EC is scheduled for 15th April so time is fast running out...

so I'm going with this donor but really struggling with PMA - just can't believe it will ever work for me. To the extent that last night I went to a VSO open evening with a view to registering to volunteer overseas for a year or two when I get the inevitable BFN...

hope you're doing OK...
Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Suity, my donor was 31 and did me proud.  Not every 20-something woman is going to produce eggs of spectacular quality, and not every 30-something woman is going to struggle with her response to stimms.  You might be struggling with PMA   but I can absolutely picture you in 3D with bub in arms (can't see the colour of his / her hair though  ) and even if you can't hold onto that same picture, I will hold onto it for you (as will a shed load of other women posting on these threads and wishing you all the loving support and success in the world for this cycle).  So it's great to consider alternative life plans at this juncture, and VSO is a superb one to have in mind, but Reprofit is a very successful clinic and might have a baby-sized spanner to throw in the works here.       

A-Mx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks Inde....to some extent I'm in self preservation mode here...the more I believe it won't work, the less devastating the BFN will be (although they are always pretty devastating but you know what I mean)
It's lovely to have everyone else here being positive on my behalf though, it does not go unnoticed and is very much appreciated - so thank you all  

Cem - forgot to say re exam...hmm, I survived it but I don't think I've passed. You have to include a strict set of criteria into the 7 minute conversation - like asking 4 questions and finger spelling 4 words etc, and I didn't really do that, plus I got completely lost in the middle and had no idea what the examiner was signing...which probably showed in my face! No results for 6 weeks but tbh I don't really mind if I haven't passed - it's the least of my worries at the moment!

Wishing everyone a lovely Easter - I am looking forward to the time off work  
Suitcase
x


----------



## blueytoo

Suity - I was 32 the last time I donated and that lady got pregnant   It's always disappointing when we don't get what we are expecting   And it's worse to be disappointed when you're on a timeline!

Keeping everything crossed for you hun


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Suity - do try and think positive, but if you really want a younger donor do ask if there is one available, now that you are in the realms of blonde hair- which should be too unusual. 

You can always colour the child's hair if you want red hair!!  

I am also reconsidering my occupation as so fed up with long hours and no gratitude. I was offered my old job back overseas and it was tempting but family and fertility restrict me from doing it.

Hold on to the fact that you will be a mummy one day!!

L x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

JJ - it's not so much that I want a child with red hair! I guess I just want to replicate what would be the 'natural' situation - ie I want my donor to look like me so that it is as close to me using my own eggs. as it could be...
If I was ttc naturally my child wouldn't nec have red hair, so it's not so much about that - and at the end of the day I know if I ever manage to get pg, I won't care what colour hair/eyes the child has, I'll just be so happy to actually have a child...

it's hard re work isn't it? I'm bored to tears with what I do but need to stay as long as am having fertility tx as it pays so well, plus maternity policy is excellent with 20 weeks full pay....

Suitcase
x


----------



## lulumead

hi suity....sorry to hear its all a bit stressful. I think you should feel free to ask about a younger donor, but stick with this one if they can't find an alternative. Like Inde says though, we are all rooting for you and hoping that this is the one...so don't worry about PMA, we've got that covered!
xxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

cem - no, have moved my counsellor to fortnightly because it was getting too expensive to go every week so haven't been able to talk through the donor stuff with her yet - seeing her next Tues so will def bring it up then...

think you are right that as the date of transfer approaches I am of course reminded of how much I would rather be able to use my own eggs, but I know that's not an option and I know if it actually works all these issues will disappear (of course to be replaced by others!!)

as you say, what will be will be, makes no difference if I am positive about it or not....just a matter of time really. By end of this month (April 1st today!) I'll know one way or another...

Thanks again for all the support
Suitcase
x


----------



## RichmondLass

Suity - I think you should def stick to your guns and double check the availability of donors with red hair and a younger donor.  I'm sure they have people disatisfied with donors and going back to check all the time.  Then at least you'll feel you have a choice - if there are no other alternatives you will have to decide if it's what you want or not.  

I really do think that once you are pg (and you will be, you will be) that any worries/concerns/wishes/wants that you have now will fade away.  You will be focused on keeping that babster safe in your tum and completely forget what you asked for/wished for up front.  Wanting the donor to be as close to you as poss will be replaced with other fears/hopes.  And when he/she pops out you will think he/she is the most beautiful baby in the world even if it really does look like ET or a monkey.  Richmondlad obviously IS the most beautiful baby in the world...well he sometimes looks like a monkey in a certain light...

I understand it isn't about what hair colour the baby ends up with but reprocating its origins in some way.  But I truly think that although that is very important to you now, it won't be once that life springs into being.  

I think I said already that just over 24 hours after RichmondLad was born someone in the hospital reception said 'doesn't he look like you'.  The health visitor told me she thought he had my chin (poor little s*d) and that's after I told her he was DE!

My friend's gorgeous DE mixed race babies were round the other day and they don't really look like her at all although they actually do in a way - you'd never question their origins and think they weren't a family.  And they have the most placid temperament and are a smiley, bubbly handful of joy!  I am hoping babster is same.

Trouble is you can't ask for those characteristics can you?  Only hair and eye colour. Lets hope whan your LO arrives people say:  isn't she bright and kind and determined, just like her mum!
Oops there! I think you'll have a girl one day!
RLxxx


----------



## Damelottie

Thinking of you for this cycle Suity   

I get told Alfie looks like me all the time. I just can't see it myself but I'll always accept it happily     

xxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Oh RL, thanks for your lovely post - made me all    - mind you could be partly the red wine/champagne I've had today (drank more today for my mum's b'day than I did for my own...too busy running round talking to people at my own party!)

you are quite right, all I wish for is a contented, happy baby - must stop getting hung up on hair/eye colour etc. Is all just a control thing really....I do like being in control and I feel so out of control with IVF overall, and even more so with DE, that I try to compensate by over controlling the things I can control

ah well, not long now and it will all be over one way or another

Suitcase
x


----------



## Guest

provencein3 said:


> I think I might do a major advertising blitz here and try and find a local donor.


Hi Provencein I am also madly searching for a donor of African/African-Caribbean origin. I would be interested to here what methods you are using to advertise and whether you have had any success.


----------



## Guest

Rose39 said:


> Thanks for the good wishes! I'll be having 2 put back - the clinic doesn't normally put more than 2 blasts as they already have a 70% success rate and the risk of multiples would be pretty high with 3. I won't be having acupuncture this time - mainly because of logistics, in that I'd need to get a taxi across from the clinic as I didn't hire a car, and I'm not sure where the nearest acupuncturist is. I have my hypnotherapy CD with me, but to be honest I've been chilling out so much versus what I usually do in the UK (no work deadlines, no housework to do, and the most amazing fresh unpolluted sea air) that I'm sleeping really well anyway, so I'm not using it as much (I think I can recite the content off my heart now anyway!).
> 
> Rose xx


Hi Rose I have been considering SA. How do you know about their 70% success rate for donor eggs - I havent been able to confirm much about success rates for oversea clinics. Were you with CFC?


----------



## midnightaction

I can officially post in this thread now as after my last BFN I have finally made the decision to move to DE. I wanted to give my eggs one last go, so that I could say I had tried it all, but I now feel after 6 failed IVF's it's time for me to move on to something that I hope will give me a better chance of bringing my longed for baby home 

I am gonna be going back to Reprofit for Donor Embryos and Stepan has matched me up with 2 Day 5 blasts where both donors are a very good match for the criteria that I asked for. I will be heading back over to Brno on the 4th June, so it's all happening very quickly.

I feel so much better about this cycle than the last 2/3 as for the first time I actually feel positive that this could result in a BFP. I feel happy about the choice to move to DE because I come from a very unconventional family and although I would have loved a genetic link to my child, he or she will fit in just perfectly and will be loved equally as if that link was there. It does feel strange to be moving to DE whilst I am still 30, and I know I could keep going with my eggs for a good few years to come, hoping to find that one good egg, but that doesn't feel right to me, and after 6 long years of all this TX I just want a baby and I will do whatever I need to, to achieve this dream.

As one door closes another one opens  

Sarah xxx


----------



## lulumead

great news Sarah that all moving ahead...June will be here before you know it. Sending you lots and lots of luck....

xxxxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

sarah that is great news, and that Stephan can match you so quickly- I thought Reprofit had long waiting lists -are your have DE or donor embryos?


----------



## indekiwi

Sarah, I'm incredibly sorry that your previous cycles of treatment have not come up with your longed for baby.   There is nothing fair about fertility tx, that's for sure, particularly given the hope you have provided other women when egg sharing.  However, I hope with this change in approach that come June, we can cheer on a BFP courtesy of your sheer determination and Reprofit's excellent track record of helping women to create a new life within.      

A-Mx


----------



## midnightaction

*Lulu* Thanks hun 

I think the fact that June will be here before I know it is whats scary 

*JJ1* I am having Donor Embryos which doesn't have quite such a long list as Donor Eggs. I have been on the list since after my last failed cycle in August last year and I think after my BFN last month Stepan has really tried to pull out all the stops to get me a match ASAP 

*indekiwi* Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. Your so right about the utter unfairness of fertility treatment, but despite that each and every one of us gets back on the horse every time until we finally get what we want 

I see so much success on these boards with DE, and it feels great to now be starting my journey to that hopeful success too 

Sarah xxx


----------



## midnightaction

*Cem* Your first time lucky is my inspiration for going ahead with DFET 

Can I ask you a quick question? I got my treatment plan through and wanted to check do you continue taking the Estrofem all the way through the 2ww alongside the progesterone or do you stop taking it once you get to transfer. With the OEIVF's I always stopped taking it at transfer but didn't know if it was different for FET ?

Sarah xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Rose I was just thinking about you this morning and wondering how you were doing.  

I don't think that there is anything that I can add as to 'what you should do differently' as you have covered all the bases as far I can see- eating,tests, vits, relaxation therapy with your hypno cd's- counselling and acupuncture was the only things I did differently but haven't brought me any luck!.

I found counselling helpful and continued it for 8 months after as I found myself in a very dark place and had to start on my DE trail of finding a clinic etc.

I think anything around you due dates/ anniversaries is very hard.  Particularly after a miscarriage I remember coming crashing down the next cycle after my mc as I fully expected to get pregnant (how naive I was then!) and that the struggle would be not miscarrying again, it hadn't really entered my mind not getting pregnant or even to ET would be an issue.  You were also given such high odds that we all hoped and expected you to have good news.

I wouldn't worry about your work colleagues and going to SA twice, it is a beautiful country, you have family links there, reasonably priced when you get there- many people always go to the USA,Thailand etc. you could say you made some friends there etc. Failing that you could develop a passion for footie!

Try and focus on the positive things- you have some great frosties to go and collect and you get good linings.



L


----------



## bingbong

Rose I'm sending you a big hug   

I agree with Cem, tell people that you are going elsewhere. I told people I was going to Brno the first time and then told them I was going to Prague. No one questioned it or asked difficult questions. 

I really hope that you can go and get some frosties soon, how annoying about the footie  

bingbong x


----------



## midnightaction

Thanks for the info on the Estrofem/Progynova, I thought that might of been the case but as the protocol for OE is so different to DE I wanted to be certain 

I have decided to do Gestone again this cycle (After telling myself I would never inflict that sort of pain on myself ever again !!) because I bled so early into the 2ww this last cycle that I worry that the progesterone capsules aren't strong enough 

*Rose* I have very much come to the realisation that you can do everything in the book, not smoke, not drink, relax, take regular exercise, avoid stress, eat protein, take vitamins, eat healthy organic food, drink 2 liters of water a day, have acupuncture, have hypnotherapy, go to counselling, have every blood test for every possible problem, have a perfect uterus, have a perfect cycle and perfect blasts(all of which I have done/had over the years) and you still don't get the elusive BFP. Please don't stress yourself or think your not doing enough, because your doing everything that you can to make your body ready for your baby and there isn't really anything else you can do (I don't mean that to sound negative). I used to be borderline obsessive with making sure I did all the right things at all the right times and then last cycle i stopped doing it, and just kinda got on with living my day to day life. Now thats not to say I am out smoking and drinking and partying with a McDonald's for dinner every night (I haven't got the energy to party these days !! ) but I am just learning to relax more and just let things happen, which I know is easier said than done.

I won't be patronising and say just give it time, or it's a numbers game and it is your turn next, as we all know how unhelpful things like that can be, all I will say is you will just have to be a strong independent woman and tell this bloody infertility that you won't put up with it's crap any more and your gonna fight it and get the baby you have longed for 

Oh I wouldn't worry about having to explain why you are off to SA again to people. This will be my 5th visit to Brno in 13 months, I think my colleagues think I am either running some sort of smuggling operation or I have a lover on the go over there !! 

Sarah xx


----------



## wizard

Rose I can't add anything more than JJ or midnight, I was thinking the same about saying you'd met friends over there who've invited you back.  I do understand how awful being on the wrong side of the stats though (I discovered 1 in 10,000 for Louis's condition, was originally told 1 in 4,000)    But the odds don't matter, when you're in the wrong group you're just in the wrong group and it's *^%$.  The only thing I can say is that as long as you keep trying you can still get pregnant, and that's what matters now.  You have done and are doing everything you possibly can.  

Wizard x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Sarah- re progesterone support- CRM alternate (Inde will be able to tell you more as she has done it) but from what I can read on the protocol they alternate days of cyclogest and gestone.  I asked Mr Trew about this and he said that they are absorbed differently, just like progynova tablets/injections of oestrogen/patches- and some people respond better to one of both.

Wizard- how are you and your partner 

L x


----------



## indekiwi

Rose, more     .  You've been given lots of great advice already.  My only extra thought is that despite the much better stats coming from DE tx generally, and the success of the clinic you are using specifically, it will always take some individuals a number of goes, no matter how well prepared they are.  It took me two fresh attempts, it took Felix something like four(?) fresh and FET goes, and there are many more examples on the DE&S Board.  I know it's galling to see so many first time successes, I know you probably just don't give a continental about other people's experiences - this is about you after all, not about other people, I know it's emotional and expensive and painful and time consuming, and right now, it's also about the extremely sad anniversary of the loss you suffered last year.  However, as Wizard says, if you are still trying, then you still have the chance of becoming pregnant - and you still have great embies on ice to collect.     

Sarah, further to JJ1's post, CRM has recipients use two cyclogest a day and gestone every other day until 12 weeks - just giving individuals different ways of absorbing progesterone.  It is the first time I've used gestone (although I've used cyclogest on a number of cycles) and only the second time in 10 cycles that I've got anywhere near test date.  I have huge sympathy for anyone having to jab themselves with gestone however - nasty stuff, no matter how pragmatic you are about using it.    The other thing CRM routinely prescribe is progynova (estradiol), again for use until the 12 week mark.  So sounds pretty similar to CEM's description of Reprofit's protocol.  

 to everyone else - things about to get busy here with Suity and JJ1's forthcoming cycles and wishing them both lots of      .

A-Mx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

A-M How are you doing I can't believe that you daughter will be here very soon and you'll be in your 3rd trimester!!  Wishing you well with the rest of your pregnancy- and thank you so much for the advice and encouragement.

I have my nurse planning appt on 19th!

L x


----------



## midnightaction

*indekiwi* Thanks for that info that's really helpful to know and anything that means I have to do less gestone injections is all good with me.

Can I just clarify on the days you take the gestone do you take the cyclogest as well or do you only take that on the days your not doing the gestone ? Hope that makes sense ! 

Sarah x x


----------



## indekiwi

Sarah, it made sense!    Two cyclogest pessaries every day I'm afraid - you don't get days off in lieu of using gestone  nor for good behaviour  .

JJ1, thanks hun.  All is good here, though I think this bub is going to be a big'un.    How exciting re 19th!!!  So I guess there's a good chance of you overlapping on the TWW with Sarah?  

A-Mx


----------



## Felix42

Midnight, just wanted to send you lots of  for the journey ahead. I so hope it is first time lucky with DE. You have been through so much and it is very unfair.   

Rose, I'm so sorry you are feeling down hun. It is completely understandable. When we move onto a tx with massively higher odds its so much more difficult when it doesn't work at first. I'm sure it will and soon now. Just got to dodge those pesky world cup hordes now. 

JJ, how exciting about the 19th! Wishing you lots of   

Love to all other DE-ers!

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## midnightaction

*indekiwi* As long as I get a few days off of the Gestone to allow my bum to heal I will gladly do the cylogest every single day !! 

I have a quick question, well more of a random thought that has popped into my mind about siblings and I wondered what others thoughts were on this especially as I am so new to the whole idea of DE. I have always said I only ever want one child it has been my plan from the start, but as we all know plans don't often go the way we expect and I very much suspect that if I have one I will feel the desire at a later stage to have another, that need to hold another baby in my arms will always be there. I have very much dealt with the fact that by using DE/Embryos that I will not have a genetic link to my child and I am cool and dandy with that, I feel that genetics does not a mother make, but I am worried about siblings and the fact that not only will they not be genetically related to me but they will not be related to each other and how they might feel about that? I guess if I was using either donor eggs or donor sperm I could ask to use those donors again in the future so there at least some genetic link between any future children but as it is donor embryos then there is probably going to be very little change of getting embryos from the same donor again in the future.

I guess I am just asking something that really no one can answer and that is will be future children be mad at me because they do not have a genetic link to each other...........yeah I know totally can't answer that one !! 

This does also raise another question for me, in that I previously egg shared as an open donor that resulted in 2 live births and when those 2 children get to 18 they might come looking for me. I am scared that any children that I have (as in my children that I give birth too) with be upset and angry that they are the result of donation when I have genetic children out there in the big wide world, and they will feel pushed aside in some way. I guess that this situation is not one that many people face 

Oh well thats just me having what I am sure everyone turning to DE has and just having some internal conflict. I know all of these have to be worked out by me, so I guess this board is just my way of putting my thoughts to paper (or keyboard). Sorry that your all forced to listen !!! 

Sarah xxx

Sarah xx


----------



## Felix42

Sarah, those are really interesting questions you pose. Like you say there's no way of anticipating how our future children will feel. 
I guess re the genetic link of future donor embryo siblings, I would say that the children you have will both be borne and raised by you and experience the same family upbringing and that's likely to be more strongly experienced by them than any academic view of their genetic link to each other and you. 

Re egg share offspring contacting you at age 18 and how your children will feel, I think your children's reactions will be very dependant on how you deal with any meeting. If you are seen to value the genetic link more of the egg share children than those you have borne and raised, then the latter will feel 2nd class. I'm sure though that you wouldn't do that and your donor conceived children will feel your love so strongly that they will no way feel threatened when your egg share children come to meet you. 

Laura, wishing you lots of  for your upcoming tx!! 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## indekiwi

Sarah,

Addressing your points in turn - yes, you might change your mind in future and decide that you want more children. Equally, you might not. On the bumps and babes thread there are people who represent both sides of that coin. However, I think it's important that you at least have the _option_ to increase your family should you decide to do so. For the many people who have yet to achieve their dream of having a child, let alone the "luxury" of a second, I think it is hard to understand how driven and - dare I say it - fixated, those already fortunate to have a little family of their own can become in increasing it.

That said, there may be steps you can take even now to secure a stock pile of donor sperm (donor eggs would be much tricker, as you can imagine) so that, if genetic connection is particularly important to you for a sibling, you have something to work with to make that happen. Once I became pregnant with poppet, I "banked" 10 straws of donor sperm for future use so that - as I thought then - my children would be full siblings. What I never envisaged was needing donor eggs  (and nor, for that matter, that I would not be able to remove the sperm from this country to be treated elsewhere due to the relative lack of egg donors in the UK). As it is, my children will be half brother and sister genetically, but not through me. So, first things first, why not question Reprofit to see whether you can store more sperm from the same donor for your use should you choose to increase your family size in future? The answer may be no, but equally, it could be yes.

One of the reasons why I am very relaxed about my kids being genetic half siblings (and probably if they had been completely unrelated in a blood sense) is that of my three siblings, one shares the same mother and father, and the other two have a different father. We never refer to each other as half brothers and sisters, and I would lay money on the bet that my mother would have belted us (or anyone else for that matter) between here and Mars should she have heard us referring to each other in that way.  Indeed, she took pretty lengthy steps to ensure that, should anything have happened to her, neither father nor their respective families could split us kids up. Since we have grown up, we have discovered half siblings created by both fathers, and although we have met these individuals and get along okay, none of the four of us see them as our brother or sisters in any way other than in genetic terms. In other words, the things that bind us together as a family is the person who brought us up - my mother - and the shared experience of being brought up by her. Perhaps others have had a very different experience with a similar background, but it was very comforting to me when my egg donor wrote that she regarded her step father, rather than her biological father, as her "real" dad given the former's role in bringing her up....

As to whether your double donor conceived children would feel upset and angry on meeting any offspring you had helped others to create, my gut reaction goes with what Felix has posted. I can imagine that there might be a little anxiety if your child(ren) were insecure in their relationship with you. I can also imagine that there could be some sadness that they did not share a genetic connection with you that a couple of complete strangers could claim. But I can also imagine compassion ("wow mum, you did that for other people who couldn't have kids - that's cool") and a sensitivity and sadness for you in that, having helped others to achieve their dreams, you eventually also needed help in your turn. 

Finally, as you know I have yet to experience how my kids will turn out, how they will feel about being donor conceived and so on, but at least in this point in time my son is just overwhelmingly happy and excited about having a little sister on the way. He loves to feel her move in my bump and frankly, he simply doesn't care how she got there, but just wants to meet and play with her. It is the ultimate seal of acceptance. 

Sorry for being long winded...again!

A-Mx


----------



## indekiwi

Drowned Girl posted the following poem on the DE&S Board - I thought it summed up things rather perfectly (well, excepting the bit about being a better wife, but I'll forgive that in the scheme of things  )


There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss
    and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or because I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.

I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded.I have won. So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.
                                                                ~Unknown


----------



## Rose39

Sarah - big hugs as you think through these issues.     I was also having similar thoughts about siblings and so these posts have been really helpful to me too! 

Suity - hoping you are ok hunny? So hoping this is the cycle that works for you!  

Thank you so much for the kind posts over the past few days. I've now had the costs for the FET from the clinic and am going to enquire about going back out to SA in July (the week after the last football match in Cape Town) when hotels and flights won't be so full (or expensive!). 

Could I please ask for your advice and thoughts especially for those who have had immune issues and treatment? I know that I have elevated NK cells and have been taking 25mg prednisolone and 40mg clexane - I was on the steroids when I got pg in my 3rd IVF cycle. I am wondering whether I should go back and have my NK cells tested again, and whether I should be doing intrallipids on top of the steroids to maximise my chances? In the tests I had done last year, the steroids were more effective than IVIG in killing off the NK cells, but I've had 2 rounds of IVF since the m/c with the steroids etc., one with my own eggs where I had 3 good quality embies put back, and the DE cycle with excellent blasts, and neither worked. 

I don't know whether to just put this down to bad luck and try again (and save myself the money) or whether I should be getting tests done again and upping the immune meds, in case it's the immune issues that are causing the IVF to fail and I need more than steroids now? Having spent so much money already I'm loathed to spend any more, however part of me is thinking that I so don't want the FET to fail that I should be exploring every avenue to maximise my chances of a BFP next time. 

I'd really appreciate your thoughts!

Rose xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Rose I also think that about myself I have had numerous rounds of NK after my mc inistially with Dr  S who diagnosed me and said steroids better than IVIG, then when I moved to ARGC they were all totally redone again and then certain panels throughout the treatments, only on the last cycle did I have IVIG.  I really don't know.  I think I would be happy with sterids and clexane.  Another round of full tests would be another £1k+ and then if IVIG etc was needed then a fe £K more.  Intralipids are much cheaper.

I am so pleased that you can get back fairly soon- darn football

L x


----------



## Rose39

JJ1 - thanks so much for your comments. It's so hard to know what to do, isn't it? 

How are you doing with your tx? Have you had any progress since your donor was confirmed? So hoping everything goes well for you this time!    

Rose xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

i've got my nurse planning appt on Mon afternoon, I have carpal tunnel and having steroid injections into my hands in the morning!!
L x


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Good luck for Monday JJ1 - will look forward to hearing how you got on    
Jovi x


----------



## some1

Sarah - I just wanted to echo what Inde said about sibling relationships.  I also have one full sibling and 2 half siblings that I have been brought up with.  I regard them all though as full siblings, we are a family and they are my brother and sisters, full stop.  I absolutely agree with Inde's statement that 'the things that bind us together as a family is the person who brought us up'.

Some1

xx


----------



## Rose39

JJ1 - wishing you so much luck for Monday's appointment, and also hoping that your nasty steroid injections go as smoothly as possible!       

Rose xx


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Rose, glad you've got a little plan to go back soon ... this year is going so fast July will be here before we know it


----------



## midnightaction

*Felix* I have been reading so much the last few days about donor conceived children and how they view things and the general consensus seems to be that it is us as parents that worry and fret about the donor issue and have constant battles about what to say and do and how our children might handle it. When in fact the children don't seem to care in the slightest and are more concerned with when the next bowl of ice cream is being served !!! 

*Indekiwi* Everyone does say to me that once I have one I will change my mind and will be desperate to have another, I sense they are probably right but as I am stubborn I refuse to let them think that !! 

I think the issue for me is that I am going for donor embryos and not separate donor eggs and sperm so it is difficult for me to bank any donor sperm, but what I am going to do is ask Stepan if he has any more sperm from that donor available and if so can I try and purchase it and bank it. A long shot maybe but certainly worth asking, and at least that way there will be a small genetic link between any future children through the male donor.

I guess for me it is not really that important for the genetic link to be there between the siblings as I agree that "family" can mean all manner of different things. I was just worried for the children feeling like they were completely alone in the world in a genetic sense and feeling angry at me for that. I know that makes no sense really as it is all about how they are brought up and the things you say and do with them which has more to do the kind of young person they will grow into, and if they are taught the right things then they would probably never feel those kind of things.

I love the idea that my children will think I was a wonderful person for donating my eggs previously, I had never looked at it from that angle, so thanks for that 

*Rose* If you feel it might put your mind at rest then I would have the NK tests done again. The results of your tests can vary month to month so they do recommend having them tested again if there has been a break since the last lot of tests. I had consults with Dr Sher in the USA and he is very much of the opinion that Steroids alone are not enough to combat NKc's. Now thats just one Dr's opinion and I know many do vary on what they think so it has to be a personal choice, but I would never go back to just having steroids in a cycle. I now have one infusion of intralipids before transfer and then one again after I fingers crossed get a BFP. I think more than anything it makes me stress less during the cycle as I would be constantly worried if not. The intralipds cost £285 per infusion which although is a bit expensive is a lot cheaper than having to do multiple cycles.

I hope you make the decision that is right for you 

*some1* Thank you for your insight on the siblings issue, it's great to hear lots of peoples feedback. I too agree that it has much more to do with how we are brought up and the people who love us compared to the genetics behind it 

*JJ1* Wishing you all the best for your appointment on Monday, I hope you get the go ahead to get started ASAP 

*suity* Not sure when it is your heading on out to Brno, or if you are already there but just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world 

Every day new questions come into my head so I hope you don't me asking random things as they come to me. Have any of you ladies, or do you intend to, tell health care professionals about your babies being donor conceived ? I know that there is a need to tell if there is a age difference between you and the donor because it could potentially have some bearing on test results (I believe they base it on donors age and not yours) but other than that is there any other reason, I mean medically, why they need to know ? For now I want to just tell my parents about using a donor but other than them I want a future child to be the first to know and I don't want the facts of it sat on a medical file somewhere for all and sundry to see. I am not ashamed, in fact I am proud to be using a donor and I will have no issue with those who are close to me knowing, but I just take issue with medical staff knowing. Am I wrong to withhold that info from them or doesn't it really matter ?

I only have one other question, I promise honest !! In the Czech Republic they do not match CMV status as they do not think it is an issue, and from what I have read there seems to be opinions on both sides of the argument and I get the general impression that it is one of those things like blood grouping that is down to choice and although could cause a small medical issue is not all that relevant ? Am I right about that or are there issues I am not aware of ?

Right thats it I will shut up now as that was a mega post ! 

Love to all

Sarah xxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

sarah  as a health care porfessional I would tell if it is relevant to the child or my own care- eg maternity and paediatrics.  sometimes it is relevant
L x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi all,

Just a really quick one as last night of family holiday so need to head downstairs and chat with everyone....sorry been so offline but it's been non stop here in sunny Dorset. Have had truly lovely time  
Long drive to Peak District tomorrow for friend's 40th and then to Stansted Sunday morning. Everyone pls keep their fingers crossed that the volcanic ash has dispersed by then. I shall not be happy if flights are cancelled/delayed on my way to Brno. Transfer should be Tues so I have some leeway but still potentially very stressful  
Donor produced 7 mature eggs so we wait to see re fertilisation. Have to say have barely thought about it all as enjoying family holiday too much to worry about a minor thing like IVF  
Start gestone tonight though so nothing like that to bring you back to reality with a big bump   
Anyway, will not have access over the weekend but will be online from the Grand in Brno on Sunday evening so will do personals etc then
Thinking of you all,
Suitcase
x


----------



## Felix42

Wishing you lots and lots of  for your upcoming treatment Suity. That's great news about the 7 mature eggs. Fingers crossed for a great fertilisation rate and a safe journey across. 

Love & hugs Felix xx


----------



## Rose39

Good luck Suity!!!!    

Rose xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Suity I am so pleased that you have had a relaxing holiday best of luck in Brno- volcanoes permitting!!

L x


----------



## indekiwi

Suity, fingers are crossed that your flight gets off safely.     Glad you've had such a brilliant time in Dorset.  

Sarah, I told my midwife, who has noted it inside my written notes (which I keep with me for the duration of my pregnancy) but doesn't feel the need to highlight it to anyone else as she says that it has no bearing on my pregnancy unless I had chosen to do a nuchal scan (which I did not).  Re CMV, I wasn't bothered about it as the risk is so very low.  CRM is quite strict about it, but from the looks of things, other clinics in the UK are happy to proceed as long as you sign a waiver.    

A-Mx


----------



## lulumead

good luck suity.xxxx


----------



## midnightaction

*inde* Thanks for that info, I assume that the notes you carry with you during pregnancy are not noted anywhere on your larger medical file with the hospital , so could not be looked at later ? Can I ask if you don't mind, why you choose to tell your midwife, is there anything medical related to a donor conceived child that would be beneficial for the midwife to know ?

*suity* Wishing you all the best for Tuesday and   for the fertilisation results today, I know how tense that 1pm phone call can be 

Sarah xxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

your hand held maternity notes do get returned to the hospital - they don't get added into your main record set but are available and usually stored off site or in another place- they need to be kept for many more years in case the child when 18 wishes to pursue a claim for themselves.

L x


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Sarah, my understanding is as JJ1 has explained.  Unless my midwife draws the notes from my first pregnancy out from archives, no one is likely to see them again until such time as, presumably, they are destroyed.  

As to why I felt the need to tell my midwife about the donor conception of my unborn baby, I guess I could be wading into sensitive territory.    Basically, I tell virtually everyone when questions arise (I'm a 43 year old single pregnant woman with no man in sight - it's human nature to wonder what the background is to that).  Although I understand that many people feel that they want to give their child privacy until they are of an age to decide whether to disclose they are donor conceived or not (sperm or egg), my own feeling is that if I felt it such a private matter, this would tinge any information I provided my children with some idea that their method of conception was somehow shameful, immoral, or otherwise wrong.  I want them to be able to ask me questions openly with no sense of stigma and be able to deal with outsiders in a matter of fact manner.  I also have a much stronger view on donor eggs even than donor sperm, particularly since the former I could likely get away without telling even those most affected - my kids.  Too many ladies posting on the singles threads have spoken of the judgemental and negative way they have been treated by members of the medical profession, and although I am just one person, I want to do my bit to ensure that egg donation is not stigmatised by the very people that care for us and our kids once we are fortunate in achieving our longed for BFPs.  Hence my openness generally, and in particular with respect to my midwife.  To date, I have never been confronted by negative sentiments - and I wouldn't like to be the first person who tried it on with me either.    

A-Mx


A-Mx


----------



## midnightaction

*JJ1* Thanks for confirming that hun 

*inde* You have raised some really great points there and it's excellent to see others points of view. I am one of those women who has had very negative experiences with healthcare professionals relating to my fertility issues and it has made me worried about sharing information with them. I know not all healthcare professionals are like that, in fact I have come across some truly lovely people, it's just a shame the few ruin it for all the others, but I guess that's like everything in life. I guess this is still all hypothetical for me and who knows how I will feel when I am actually faced with these sorts of decisions . Until then it's great to hear everyone else's opinion, it makes this journey so much easier.

Sarah x x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hello all,

Really want to do personals and read all the last posts properly but am just too tired after my epic 12 hour drive from Derbyshire to Southern Germany today  
Thinking of you all though....

Have posted more details on Abroadies thread, am over half way to Brno and making good time, should be safely enconsced in the Grand by early afternoon tomorrow so all is going well - wouldn't say this is would be my first choice for getting to Reprofit but on the upside, at least I am going to get there! 

Will try and catch up properly tomorrow once I'm there and a bit more relaxed
love to all
Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Hey Suity, have my fingers crossed for you hun and thinking of you as you drive across to Brno.    Hope you're not feeling too lonely on your trip and have plenty of lively music to listen to on the way.  

A-Mx


----------



## Rose39

Well done Suity on getting over half way there today. Hoping that the rest of your journey is uneventful and that everything goes really smoothly in Brno!     

Rose xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

I had my nurse planning appt this afternoon but still don't know about the timings etc she said she'd contact me tomorrow.

L x


----------



## lulumead

Hi JJ1 - did it go ok? Or was it a bit frustrating not to be given timings? I assume it will be soon though  

wishing you lots of luck

xx


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

I just come on to wish you luck JJ1 - I got my dates mixed up thought it was tomorrow    How did it go?

Lots of luck and love xxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

she went through the process and ensured we'd signed the correct forms etc. It does seem a bit unfair that if the donor doesn't produce enough eggs, withdraws her consent we still have to pay  £950. but i hope it I won't be in that situation.

l x


----------



## lulumead

that does seem pretty harsh JJ, not really your fault if any of that happens, but I'm sure it won't.  
xx


----------



## midnightaction

*suity* Hope you're now relaxing in the Grand afternoon your eventful journey. Wishing you all the luck in the world for transfer tomorrow and for a safe journey back  

*JJ1* Hope you get your dates all sorted tomorrow. It does seem extremely steep that you still have to pay £950 even if the donor can not proceed, I can not see how they can possibly justify charging you that 

Big hugs to all 

Sarah xxx


----------



## indekiwi

JJ1, I'm surprised they couldn't tell you a bit more about timing today.    Hope you get ALL the information you need tomorrow.     I asked Robert Forman how often recipients have had to pay the cancellation fee, and if I remember correctly, he thought it was only a couple of times a year.  I'm mindful of the experiences of both Suity and Tombliboo over the past few months at a different clinic and that gives cause for concern.     I don't remember seeing any example on the CRM thread of this happening though so let's assume that this cycle is meant to be a super successful one for you hun - you are so due all the luck in the world.   

Suity, congrats on getting to the Grand in one piece!  Hope you're not too shattered and have a really good night's sleep ready for tomorrow's ET.     

A-Mx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

That's what happened to me with the LWC cycle - donor didn't produce enough eggs, decided to keep them all for herself (fair enough, her perogative) and I paid £750 for nothing...
Really all you should pay for is any scans you have had, and your meds. Would be interesting to know what they charge the donor in such cases - ie if they withdraw consent to share, or choose to keep the eggs for themself as not enough to share, do they then pay full cycle cost? In which case the clinic is making quite a big profit is it not? Maybe ask them that JJ - what is the £950 covering as presumably the donor would have to pay for herself if she went ahead without sharing?

I accepted the £750 fee without questioning it because I never thought the cycle wouldn't go ahead...LWC said they had at most 1 or 2 per year like this....typical that I was unlucky enough to be one of those...so worth questioning it at least?

Suitcase
x

PS Inde's post crossed with mine, but will post anyway


----------



## Felix42

Suity, said it already on Abroadies but here's some more  for you on your massive journey!!

JJ, keeping everything crossed for you & your upcoming tx. That cancellation fee is massive isn't it? Clearly the clinics are aiming to pass on the full risk to us as their customers which really isn't fair. Like the others say, I'd ask what the donor pays if they decide not to proceed. 

Rose, hope you're doing ok?  

CEM & A-M, hope you & your lovely bumps are doing ok? 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## indekiwi

*Suity, wishing you loads of      for your transfer today. Am willing you on for that special BFP and wonderful result in the following 9 months.   

A-Mx*


----------



## Rose39

Good luck today Suity!!!   

Rose xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Suity I really hope ET goes smoothly and the drive home with them safely on board isn't too bad.
L x


----------



## cocochanel1

Suity that sounds GREAT! We are all willing it to work for you xxx


----------



## Bridged

hi Suity,

Just to echo all the good luck  to you Suity   for your trip and all the single abroadies.. i was so so lucky to be before this volcano, my ET was 13th and my flight home cancelled of course on 15th.

I'm PUPO and stuck in Spain, but not stressed and look on it as forced rest!!..Staying with a friend and working from my company's Madrid office.  

back in touch later, but the rate the flights are looking I could be testing out here..


Bridged xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks all for the good wishes. Posted on the Abroadies thread but just to update here too - lining all good (a relief as I didn't bother with a scan in the UK) and 2 grade 1 hatching blasts transferred. So now I wait....

Just arrived at my hotel for the night - rather basic and in a very dull industrial estate, but only 5 mins from the motorway which is the important thing. Still got around 500 miles to Calais tomorrow and then from Folkestone home, so going to be a long day

But never mind, embies on board so the driving has been worth it, now to keep everything firmly crossed for a BFP

Suitcase
x


----------



## MistyLake

Hi Everyone,

I have a question which I hope one of you will be able to answer.....
I am currently perimenopausal. From my symptoms I am sure that I am well on the way, although I have as yet not missed a cycle. Touch wood. What impact would this have on treatment using a double donor? Is it still possible to succeed? I am presuming that it is, given the ladies in India we all witnessed recently aged 70 breast feeding their babies!!!

I look forward to hearing from you.

Rx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Ladies who are menopausal can have DE treatment, so I doubt it would make any difference, as your own system is shut down
L x


----------



## RichmondLass

JJ Bridged Suity and anyone else having treatment best of luck. Sorry for short posts via blackberry but I have a warm velour clad little limpet between me and the laptop . Here's hoping you all will too very soon! Rlxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

RL- thanks it sunds like bliss with RL on your chest

I have to take prostap 3/5/10 and then have a lining scan mid May and then start lining prep 5 days before donor and then they are aiming for ET the beg of Jun 4-6th ish

Ladies can I ask when did you start taking steroids and clexane and aspirin on DE cycles?  CRM were saying Pred and clexane after ET but I think it is before.  Rose/Suity/ and other immunies can you enlighten me.

L x

L x


----------



## Rose39

JJ1 - Great news that you have a schedule! In answer to your question,  there doesn't seem to be any agreement on when is the best time to start the steroids, clexane etc. Dr S recommends 2 days prior to ET, but my own consultant when I had OE IVF thought that leaving it until then didn't kill off my NK cells - when my 4th IVF failed she thought that starting the steroids so late contributed to the tx not working. On my 3rd cycle that worked I started the steroids and clexane 5 days into stimming. I started aspirin a few weeks before the tx started. I also had 5mg folic acid. 

I'd suggest posting on the immunes board to get a broader perspective! Good luck hunny!!!   

Rose xx


----------



## midnightaction

*Rose* Glad to see that you have decided to have the further immune tests. Your so right that it just feels like another added expense, but it really puts my mind at rest to know that I am having the intralipids each time, and I know I am giving my embies the best environment to go back into.

I hope that you start to feel better soon hun 

*JJ1* Looks like we will be on the 2ww together my transfer is the 7th June 

The immune protocol is recommended to be started from Day 1 of your cycle, the same as it would if you were doing an OE cycle, that way it gives it plenty of time to start working in your body before you get your embies transfered. Personally I think ET is too late, but I guess different Dr's have different opinions 

*Mistylake* As long as they can get a nice thick healthy lining for the embies to be transfered back into then thats what is important, many perimenopausal and menopausal women have DE babies 

*RL* Good to see you posting, hope you are enjoying every second with baby G 

*Bridged* Congrats on being PUPO, and i hope you mange to make it hope safe and well and don't have to wait too much longer for a flight 

*inde* Hope you and bump are doing well 

As for me, well I have booked my flights and hotel, ordered all my drugs, booked the intralipids and booked the time off work, frankly I am ready to go now but still have to wait another month !!  Just waiting for AF to show up this weekend so that I can start taking the pill again.

Sarah xxx


----------



## indekiwi

JJ1, so pleased you've got clarification on the schedule now.  So exciting!  Am   that your lining gets to a nice consistency and thickness to allow you a level playing field.  

Bridged, hope you're hanging in there on the TWW and if not home yet from Spain, soon will be.     

RL, that young man of yours sounds simply too scrumptious for words - can't wait for a cuddle!    

Rose, sending you masses of    .  The financial repercussions of fertility tx that doesn't work are terrifying  and the emotional consequences aren't easily dealt with either.  I have everything crossed for you come July  but hope that in the interim you can find some peace of mind and equilibrium to replace some of the pain of dreams not yet achieved.  

Suity, I see you have three frosties in case you need them.  How good is that missus?!  

Violet, I think your next tx is fast looming.  Just want to wish you all the luck in the world.     

Felix, hope all is well with you and that your beautiful little girl is flourishing.  

LL, haven't seen too many posts from you of late but hope you are doing okay.  

CEM, looking forward to seeing that bump of yours very soon.   

Sarah, gosh, your tx is looming fast as well - I'm impressed with the advanced preparation!  Hope all is well with you too.   

Misty, as JJ1 and Sarah say, many perimenopausal (comme moi!) and post menopausal women undergo DE tx successfully.  

AFM, am feeling decidedly frumpy at the moment, which, for a non-fashionista type of girl, speaks volumes!  I keep getting a shock each time I see the ticker count down another week - time is flying by and I'm not as ready as I should be.  I suspect procrastination will shortly be replaced by sheer desperation to get things done, but for now I live in la la land.  

A-Mx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

JJ - agree with Rose, start the steroids/clex etc sooner rather than later. Think I started on what would have been day 4 or 5 of donor stimms. Started the aspirin before that. Then gestone from day of egg collection onwards

Rose - sorry to hear you're feeling a bit down about the wait until July. The time will fly by I'm sure. Good luck with seeing Dr G. It is expensive but worth it if it puts your mind at rest that you have explored all the possible options and given yourself the very best chance

Sarah - great that you have everything all sorted, your trip will come round really quickly too...

Hope everyone else is doing well, good luck to those about to start tx, and especially to my fellow 2WWrs  

Suitcase
x


----------



## Violet66

Thanks for remembering Inde - I'm off to Athens on Sunday. Going to make a week of it this time, none of the mad 48 hour dash that I did last year. 

Positive vibes to everyone else in the same boat


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Good luck Violet, hope you have a successful trip to Athens. When is your ET date? Another one to join us on the dreaded 2WW  
Suitcase
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

violet I hope that you flights and trip go well on Sunday
L x


----------



## Violet66

We're hoping to go to blastocyst stage so my embryo transfer is scheduled for Wed 

flights look ok for Sunday  - amazing how much things can change in a few days. This time last weekend I was googling for ways to get to Athens via car, ferry, train, bike....!


----------



## suitcase of dreams

yes, I have to say even I would probably have drawn the line at driving to Athens


----------



## midnightaction

Ladies 

It has been such a long time since I last used it, so can anyone tell me if Gestone needs to be kept in the fridge or not? My drugs came today from Czech Republic but all the instructions are in Czech and I can not make head nor tail of it !! 

Sarah xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

No hun, gestone doesn't need to go in the fridge   Best used warm so keep at room temp and warm up (I stick mine in my bra for 10 mins before use!) before you actually use...

Are you getting excited now?!

Suitcase
x


----------



## midnightaction

*suity*

Thanks hun, I thought that was the case but wasn't sure and didn't want to get it wrong 

Yeah I am getting really excited now, transfer is 6 weeks today, but time is going very slow !! It is amazing though how much more confident I feel now I have moved to DE, it is like a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders ! 

How is the 2ww treating you, hope you haven't gone too mad by it all yet 

Sarah xxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hmm, fairly mad  
Earliest I can realistically test is prob Friday, we'll see if I last that long! No symptoms - real or imagined, so can't say I'm holding out much hope. And not to depress you, but I think having had one failed DE cycle already, I've lost the PMA about DE being the answer....but this is all part and parcel of the horror that's the 2WW so don't listen to me. I'm either pg or I'm not, nothing I can do to change that, and I won't know until Fri. Just got to live with it...

Will go away before I depress everyone! Am fortunately out tomorrow (eve class), Weds (cinema with my sis) and Thurs (dinner with a friend) so won't be lingering around FF dwelling on my 2WW  

Suitcase
x


----------



## midnightaction

*suity* I will just have to have the PMA on your behalf then 

Another silly question from the girl trying to do two cycle close together like this  I was supposed to start the BCP on Saturday when I got AF, so that I can take a full pack (21 days worth) and then I will be able to start the drugs for the DE as soon as I get my next bleed. Well here we are on Tuesday and AF has still not showed up, I am not overly surprised as this is the first proper AF after my BFN so she is obviously playing me up. Because of that I am not really sure of what to do, as I see it I can do 1 of 2 things.

1. Wait a few more days and see if AF shows up, if she does I can start BCP then, but then I will only have been on the BCP for about 15 days or so, is that enough time to be on them to still get a withdrawl bleed when I stop them ?

2. Just start the BCP anyway even though I haven't had a bleed and just hope that I don't start to have any sort of bleed before the day I stop taking them. Have no idea if this one is even possible ?

Anyway any advice would be great ladies, I would prefer option 1 but I am worried that if I am not on the BCP for the full 21 days that won't be enough 

Sorry to be a pain

Sarah xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Tricky one Sarah - I have always bled through BCP anyway and then had a second, but much lighter bleed when stopping BCP so for me at least it seems the BCP doesn't totally stop my natural cycle (at least not when only taking for a month or two...)

Stepan will tell you that you MUST bleed in order to be able to start the meds for your cycle - ie you must be sure your lining is all gone before you start building it up again. That said, presumably if you wait for AF now, then start BCP you won't have any lining to speak of so it wouldn't matter which means your option 1 would be fine

Option 2 is also possible - I suspect if you started taking the pill now though, that you would prob still have a bleed this week as I don't expect the pill would take effect quickly enough to stop it. But that would also be OK, so I think you could prob go with either option

Not sure if I'm making sense here really - suspect you need to check with Stepan?

Hope you get it sorted!
Suitcase
x


----------



## midnightaction

Thanks ladies  

I don't like to bother Stepan with (what I consider) trivial questions as I know how busy he is and that he gets bombarded with emails from some people  

Based on what you both said I think that taking the BCP for a few less days than the 21 days is not gonna be a huge issue, which is what my major concern was. I shall leave it for a few days and hope she turns up and then start taking it then. If she is not here by the weekend I shall contact Stepan and see what he says. 

Thanks again, and any AF dances would be appreciated  

Sarah x x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Well I have kicked off my cycle- I had my prostap injection thing morning, scan to be booked for 17th and ET should be  the first week of June.
I still can't give myself injections!! so my donor's partner was on nights and I popped up to his A+E Dept and he gave it to me, as he is heading home after his shift. 
A quiet day for me sorting out my bedroon and some studying! then back to work tomorrow after a weeks break!
L x


----------



## cocochanel1

JJ1 wishing you soooooooooooooo much luck for this long awaited cycle. It is your turn honey.
Coco xxx


----------



## Rose39

JJ1 - keeping fingers, toes and everything possible crossed that this is the successful cycle for you hunny!   

Rose xx


----------



## bingbong

JJ really hope that this is the one for you    

bingbong x


----------



## some1

JJ1 - wishing you all the luck in the world for this cycle    

Some1

xx


----------



## lulumead

wishing you loads of luck for this cycle JJ...xxx


----------



## Candee

JJ1, just want to add all my good wishes, positive vibes and crossed appendages to all the others.
LOL
Candee
x


----------



## indekiwi

JJ1, wishing you so much luck - and then some more - for this cycle.  I just so want this to work for you.          

A-Mx


----------



## RichmondLass

JJ - best of luck and everything crossed for you!  I hope this works for you - you deserve it!
RLxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Thanks for all your good wishes, I think prostap side effects are kicking in as I cry at the slighest thing!
L x


----------



## indekiwi

JJ1, some          at an emotional time.      that this is the last time you'll need a prostap injection hun.


A-Mx


----------



## Betty-Boo

JJ - all the best honey - thinking of you            

big hugs to you and everyone else - missing you all x x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Well, I've booked my FET....

Stepan said I could do it in 2 months time so checked Jul-Aug weekends for cheapest flights and it's ended up being July 12th...so have had to start BCP already today to get in synch. All feels a bit fast to be honest but booked now, so best get on with it   

Will run out of BCP the same day as my appt with Dr G so hopefully he can prescribe more - my GP is so negative and unhelpful I don't want to ask them...last time they made a big fuss about it....

JJ - sorry to hear you're feeling a bit tearful, hope you feel better soon and wishing you the very best of luck hun   

Suitcase
x


----------



## lulumead

hope you're doing ok JJ1   


Suity: good news about dates to go back...
xx


----------



## Lou-Ann

JJ, good luck with your cycle,    that this is the one that works for you   

Suity, great that you have booked to go again   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Betty-Boo

All the best to those going through cycles at the moment ... finally took head out of sand and booked next DEIVF cycle at reprofit ... next Feb - wanted time for me after this deployment before starting again...... Feel quite scared - not sure why as know what to expect!!
big big hugs x x x


----------



## cocochanel1

Mini that is great news! Something to look forward to in the new year. Coco xxx


----------



## indekiwi

Mini, very exciting as well as scary!   


JJ1, Midnight Action, I think you both have transfers coming up fast - sending lots of      during the lead up


A-Mx


----------



## RichmondLass

Mini really pleased for you!  How exciting!  Roll on February! RLxx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Thank you .... got dates through now - 17th March for EC ...suits me as can get mind and body exactly where it needs to be!! It's so good knowing I've got such a wonderful network of Singlies to pull me through the crap times.... so thank you!! 
All the best to JJ and midnight - been thinking of you all.  Suity - its lovely to read you've made the next move.  You are such a strong person honey.

Take care x x x


----------



## Rose39

Well done Mini on booking your next tx! JJ1 and Midnight - keeping fingers and toes crossed for you... hoping you are doing ok?

Rose xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Mini - fab that you have a new date....enjoy your 'me' time in the meantime   

JJ/Sarah - hope all is going well for you both, sending lots of    

I'm OK, just back from San Francisco today and didn't sleep much on the plane so pretty tired but trying to stay awake until at least 9pm or I'll be even more messed up for the rest of the week. Trying to just not think about ttc for now - too depressing, especially when I read the Reprofit thread for the month I had tx - pretty much everyone got a BFP and I feel like it's a sign that it's just not going to work for me    If it works for everyone else, stands to reason there is something fundamentally wrong with me...
Seeing Dr Gorgy again next week although I really don't think there is anything else he can suggest, I'm already on so many immunes anyway
So as you can see, feeling pretty negative about it all and best to just not think about it I think...hence why I'm not really posting much, but do read and am thinking of you all,

Love to all,
Suitcase
x


----------



## Rose39

Suity - sending you big hugs hunny     Understand and empathise with how you feel. Hope that you manage to stay awake and that the jetlag is bearable over the next few days.   

Cem - thanks for asking how I am.    It looks like my next round of tx will be delayed until at least August   . I've had lots more tests with Dr G and although nothing is really bad, his view (which I agree with) is that there are several things that are borderline or slightly too high which cumulatively could be making the difference between success and failure. The only thing I was really pleased about was that my "hidden C" test came back negative from Greece! So I'm going to be on thyroxine, humira, intralipids, steroids, clexane and aspirin for my next cycle - will know if I can have humira if my TB test comes back ok in a couple of days. I would need to start downregging in early June if I were having tx in July and it's too soon to see if the humira has worked in calming down my immune system, or if my TSH has come down with the thyroxine. This current protocol is technically known as "throwing the kitchen sink at it"!    Part of me thinks I should be doing this for a fresh cycle not a frozen one, and am scared whether the embies will defrost ok and I could do all this and then they don't survive the thaw, but the 3 blasts are really good ones (all 3AA) and I want to take advantage of being in the fortunate position of having frosties in the first place! (never had them before!). Hard to get enthusiastic about what will be my 8th tx, especially with a bucket load more drugs and lots more side-effects, but hopefully these will make all the difference. 

Sending lots of luck to JJ1 and Midnight!     

Rose xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Thanks Rose, sending     back to you too. Sorry to hear you are having to delay. I suspect Dr G might suggest I do the same - I'm seeing him Tues next week and I know for sure he will suggest the hidden C test for me. But it's too late to do that now unless I cancel my FET, including cancelling flights and hotel, so I suspect I'm going to just go for it with the FET and get the test done afterwards if still BFN. 

I'm going to query the thyroid thing with him too, since my entire family (sisters, mum, aunt) are all on it already. My test results always came back OK, but I haven't been tested for a while and can't help wondering...

Re humira - what's that one treating? that's the only thing I've not been on on previous cycles, I'm already doing steroids, aspirin, clexane and intrallipids. Which is kind of why I wonder if there's just something else which means it won't work for me. I feel like I've tried everything already   

Suitcase
x


----------



## Rose39

Suity- the humira is to treat high levels of TNF-alpha - this causes inflammation and is one of the immune tests Dr G does. You'd see the results in your Th1:Th2 cytokine assay test, if you did this with Dr G. With the thyroid issue, my TSH results are at the top end of normal, but there is a school of thought that to optimise IVF chances, it should be between 1 and 2. 

Rose xx


----------



## Sharry

Hi

Sorry for butting in but I agree with Rose, my doctor got my TSH to just under 1 and I got a BFP and I am positive it had a lot to do with it as it was the first month my TSH was "normal" and I got a BFP.

Sharry xx


----------



## Rose39

Thanks Sharry - that's really useful to know! I know that some clinics only worry about TSH when it's out of the normal range (neither of the IVF clinics I've used were concerned about it), but because my immunes consultant thinks that I have several issues which are borderline and cumulatively causing my tx to fail, I wanted to start taking the thyroxine to at least get my TSH to an optimal level!

Rose xx


----------



## cocochanel1

Rose and Suity, just wanted to wish you both heaps of luck with your next treatment. Dr G sounds like he is really helping in terms of clarifying what else you could try. Suity, it would make sense to try the thyroid treatment since your family are already on it. August will be here before you know if Rose although I know it probably doesn't seem like that.

Sarah and JJ1 how are you both doing? 

Coco xxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Hi ladies just a quick posting as I'm in the midst of cleaning !!!
I went for my base line scan today with Dr Forman, I am starting on Progynova 6 mgs today and patches on Friday. He the donor was having her scan tomorrow to see if all was well, no cysts etc - I presume she would start stimming then, she is going to have short protocol, its her first IVF cycle. The nurse told me on email that she would start her drugs on 22/5 as I want ET after 4/6 if possible.
He said to start vaginal viagra on Wed but that would mean that I'd only be starting half way through.

He is happy to do pred and clexane?  I forgot to ask about aspirin !!! (Rose, Suity and other immunies - when did you start pred and what dose and aspirin?- my mind went blank until I came back.
I recall  ( the nameless Harley St Dr) prescribed 20/25 mgs of prednisolone and 40 mgs of clexane

I have my next scan on Wed.  

Suity the time will fly by before you know it.  

re the Clamydia menstral blood test- I have read about the Serum ladies having it and getting surprise positive results when they had negative swabs and UK results, I also had a ff friend who went to NYC for Dr Toth's high dose anti biotics etc, so in preparation I took a course of prophylatic ciprofloxacin, my donor's partner felt this was a good idea, despite me pleading and swearing on my life I've nevr had clamydia!!

Thanks so much for your good wishes
L x


----------



## Rose39

JJ1 - fantastic news that everything is progressing well!

In answer to your question, I was on 25mg pred and 40mg clexane. I started the aspirin several weeks before tx -I don't think there is a set time. With the pred, I started it 5 days into the donor's stimming as I wanted to be sure that it was effective by the time of ET. Different doctors start it on different days, but I think the consensus is typically 5-7 days into stimming. Good suggestion from your donor's partner re: the antibiotics.... I've been reading how many ladies have been shocked to find they were positive for the hidden C test, and I'm glad that I took the test to be sure. 

From a very lazy Rose (who should have done a major cleaning blitz of my house at the weekend, but really couldn't be bothered!    )
xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Just  a quickie from me as bed is calling- went for a scan today and my lining was 4.13mm (I know most of you would be in tears at that ) but it is good for me, I was pleased and there was a trilaminar layering.  My dononrs partner came with me this morning. My donors has her scan on Fri and I have another on Tues!!

L x


----------



## Roo67

JJ1  - thats great news, I really hope that this is the one for you, you so deserve it after all you have been through. good luck for tues

R x


----------



## indekiwi

JJ1, sounds like a great start to tx hun!  So wanting this to be the one for you and sending you lots of                                                       in the hope that your egg donor comes up trumps and the clinic can work its magic for you.  


A-Mx


----------



## some1

Great news JJ1 - I am so hoping that this is the one for you     

Some1


xx


----------



## Felix42

JJ, wishing you so much luck for this cycle!    

Suity and Midnight, wishing you lots of  for your upcoming treatments. Suity, I'm also a big fan of Reprofit frosties especially when they come in 3s!  Mine's got a snuffly cold at the min so is less smiley than usual. 
Rose, sorry you're having to delay tx but it sounds well worth it. 

Mini brilliant that you've got a date! Yeah!!

Inde, wow not long now. Bet poppet is excited too!

Love to all other DDs!

Felix xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Good news on your lining JJ...hope you get to ET very soon    

I'm Ok, have been having a bit of a dilemma over immune tx. Dr G recommended some further tests etc which would have meant delaying the FET. I won't bore you with the details here but anyway have decided not to have them done as am not convinced it will make a difference and am going ahead with FET in July. So we'll see....

Love to all,
Suitcase
x


----------



## cocochanel1

JJ1, this will be your time - you so deserve it. Keeping everything crossed for you.

Suity, going with your gut instinct is good. 

Coco xxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Cem - yes I'm OK, just finding it easier to not be here I'm afraid    The less I think about fertility and tx, the happier I feel, so I'm trying to think about it less....which includes being on FF less....
But although I'm not posting much, I am thinking of all you lovely people and wishing you the best whatever stage you're at   
Suitcase
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Thanks Ladies for your good wishes

Suity  we think of you as well

Rose when are you heading out to SA I know the world cup is soon and the footballers were getting in the way of your FET!!

Sarah do you have your dates?

I went to Daniel for accupuncture today, I do like him and value his knowledge and experience.  We chatted and  I have decided to take steroids from the donors trigger to get 5-7 days in before (Dr Forman said it was up to me) - ladies for you who have done immunes on FET did you start clexane on ET day or before ans stop aspirin?  I have never done an FET with my own or DE's.

Daniel was saying how DE's are so hard to get now, and several London clinics are closing their waiting lists, he said CRM is one of the best t the moment but they waits are getting long, as we know from on here.

L x


----------



## midnightaction

Just thought I would update quickly as I know I have been absent for a quite a while 

Cycle has been cancelled today due to lining issues, today was day 13 and I only had a 5mm lining and have been bleeding on and off for the last 3 days, causing what little lining I did have to break down. Very ironic that I have never once had a lining issue with any of my OE cycles but as soon as I move to DE it starts playing up. If I was a suspicious person I would think that my body is trying to tell me something ! 

Not sure when i will get to go again, but I am hoping sometime in August. I am pretty bloody gutted as I was flying out on Sunday and to cancel this close to my transfer date seems seems highly unfair, but well I guess it's just like every other ****ty thing that life throws at me, I have just gotta get on with it 

*JJ1 *Hope all is going well with you 

Sarah xxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

sarah i am so sorry you have cancel, do they freeze your donors eggs for you? you must be so gutted it happened to me on 3 occsssions but i got to barcelona and sent home.

i went for a scan today and my lining apparently is 5.8 mm so good for me, regardless of what it is i have to plough on as it might never get thicker. The donor is triggering tonight and her egg collection if thurs, my donor has to be there at 1030 to do his deed. so ^fingercrossed^ my transfer  will be sunday or after. they will it under ultrasound and try and do a high ET.

I went for aupuncture afterwards.

take  care
l x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Oh Sarah hun so sorry you had to cancel and so near to ET as well     
Hope you can re-schedule asap - you've been through so much in the past year it's no wonder your body is finding it hard.....you take care of yourself   

JJ - best of luck for your upcoming ET, it must be so exciting to have reached this point, really hoping this is the one for you    

Suitcase
x


----------



## lulumead

sarah, thats so hard.    
Hope august comes round first and your lining fluffs up nicely.
xxxx


----------



## lulumead

oops meant to say fast!
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

just a quick update from me- my donor gave me 5 eggs, and my donor did his deed at clinic today- i have my fingers crossed for my donor and my embryos in the lab- i only need 2 great ones.  The embryologist will ring me tomorrow with an update.

L x


----------



## Roo67

Great news JJ1 - hope you get some fantastic news tomorrow.

Sarah - -so sorry you have to cancel this month 
R x


----------



## bingbong

jj that's just great news. I really hope that everything works out for you this cycle.

Sarah so sorry that you had to cancel.

Bingbong x


----------



## lulumead

Brilliant news JJ1....crossing everything for lots of lovely embies to grow.
xxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Oh JJ that's great news, best of luck for ET and the 2WW    
Suitcase
x


----------



## Lou-Ann

JJ, that's great news. Sending loads of    growing vibes to your embies, good luck for the call tomorrow and ET       

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Rose39

Fantastic news JJ1 - hope you get really good news tomorrow and keeping fingers and toes crossed for a smooth ET and 2WW       

Sarah - I'm so sorry that you had to abandon this cycle. Just so unfair hunny. Hoping that you feel a bit stronger soon and can reschedule very soon. Sending you a big hug    

Rose xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

all my 5 eggs have fertilised, so they are looking at transfer on sun morning unless they go to blasts!! we're all thrilled he said the donor has had a similar response.
L x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

JJ that's brilliant news   
Good luck for transfer,
Suitcase
x


----------



## some1

Fantastic news JJ1 !!  Sending loads of        to your little embies!

Some1

xx


----------



## lulumead

So fantastic...that almost made me    a bit!  You have had it so tough to get this far....crossing everything for 2 healthy embies to be tranferred.    
xx


----------



## Sima

Great news JJ1.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Sunday.


----------



## bingbong

So pleased to hear that JJ1      

bingbong x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Thanks so much  for all your good wishes I hope the embryos feel the vibes in the lab!!!!!


----------



## Lou-Ann

JJ, thats great news   . Have got everything crossed for a smooth transfer of top grade embies on Sunday     

Lou-Ann x


----------



## indekiwi

JJ1,       .  Hope those embies keep dividing strongly and that Sunday - or who knows, Tuesday? - sees a couple of beauties ready for transfer.  Fingers are firmly in crossed position too that your lining is consistent and perhaps thickening a little further, ready for the little ones to snuggle up in.      I am so hopeful that CRM can work their magic for you hun (and for your egg donor too, for that matter).    




A-Mx


----------



## RichmondLass

JJ amazing news!  So, so pleased for you  - you deserve all the luck in the world.  Here's hoping...RLxx


----------



## ambergem

JJ, I'm so pleased to hear your news!! Hoping and praying that your little embies grow strong. Much luck for ET. I really, really hope you get your BFP soon        xx


----------



## Violet66

Fantastic news - wishing you all the best for transfer tomorrow - and the days that follow until your positive test xx


----------



## wizard

JJ that's brilliant news so pleased for you.   

Wizard x


----------



## Candee

Go jj1 embies     Go jj1 embies     Go jj1 embies    
No one deserves it more than you!
LOL
Candee
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

4 out of the 5 sre still going srong according to the embryologist, 3 more advanced than the other one, so ET if tomoorw at 1000, I have arranged Acupuncture for 0915.  My donors partner is coming with me, I'll take some valium before as ET's are difficult with me, and they said fine. He is on nights so I'll pick him up, bring him home to shower - no aferhsave/deo perfumed etc- and then we'll get a cab there.

I was going around today doing my errands  as I won't go out for a good few days.

I am missing my friends little girls communion tomorrow so they are coming by in the evening to show me her dress.  I popped into the church and lit some candles tonight for the past, present and future.

Thank you all so much for your good wishes.  I haven't got a pee stick in the house, and I haven't got to a 2ww for 2 years, but I have always got to OTD- I am not an early tester so I hope that I can manage it.

L x


----------



## Rose39

JJ1 - keeping fingers and toes crossed for you tomorrow hunny! Hope that everything goes really smoothly        

Rose xx


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## Lou-Ann

Good luck for tomorrow JJ, hope ET goes smoothly for you   . You have waited so long to get here,    this is the one   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Roo67

JJ1 - wishing you all the luck in the world for tomorrow, the 2ww and beyond. 

You so deserve this to be your time after all the disappointments of the last few years

R xx


----------



## ambergem

Good luck JJ   xx


----------



## RichmondLass

Best of luck! X


----------



## cocochanel1

JJ1, I hope it all went well for you this morning. You soooooooooo deserve this to work. It all sounds very promising. I am praying for you that this is your time hun. Love Coco xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

well yet another twist adn turn and hurdle to get over, needless to say no ET for me today.
I had acupuncture went o the clinic, the embryos doing we;;, one 8 cells greade 1 adn the other less but grade 1-2.

I got gowned up, my donor's partner tooand I was on the bed, we were able to see the embryos on the screen, the embryologist had also given us ohotos of them from 0932.  The Dr  was doing it under ultrasound  guidance, problems getting speculum in, then he attempted to insert differetn cathter, away 5 attempts later he decided that II have to come back tomorrow and have it under IV sedation as he will need to clamp the cervix- I have had this once on very first trial embryo transfer, no sedation.

The nurse also felt faint half way through and had to sit on the floor at one point - poor soul

So I hope and pray that the embryos survive being out and messed about with. My donor's partner is going to cannulate me before we go another phoboia (Needles!! but I do trust him implicity and have confidence in him totally) and come with me for CRM let you do a home preg test 14 days later or a blood test 12 days later had if I  had a day 3 transfer. I've rearanged  acupuncture for tomorrw pre and post.

| will keep you posted

So I went to my friends communion, the church was packed I had 15 mins to get ready, it was standing room only so I thought still under the influence of dizsapam I couldn't stand  so I asked an old lady to schooch up, or else I thought I would have keeled over on her!

L x


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## some1

Oh JJ1   - what a day, you must be feeling worn out with it all.  I will be sending your little embies lots of     overnight and hope ET goes smoothly tomorrow.

Some1

xx


----------



## blueytoo

JJ - I'm sorry to hear about what happened today. Another days growth will be good for your embryos, gives them a chance to come on further and weed out the weaker ones too.   

Sarah - I've said it to you already but I'm so sorry that you had to cancel, it's just not fair!!   
I will bake extra cakes for you when you come up for your next cycle   

I'm not very up to date on who else is having tx at the moment, so I hope that I didn't miss anyone out. 

AFM, I am now officially joining this thread which I am struggling with but hey ho. I will be having a donor embryo cycle at Reprofit in either September or October. I am not risking taking the pill and then timings etc getting messed up when the pill once again fails to control my cycle, so will literally be booking flights & hotel on day 1 of AF and emailing Stepan then to tell him what day transfer will be. He agrees this is the best course as the pill just isn't reliable enough.

I will hear about what donors Stepan is offering me next month.


----------



## kylecat

Oh JJ1, you poor thing - what a day you've had. I really hope that things go much more smoothly tommorrow.    Don't worry about embryos being 'messed around' - one of mine got stuck in the actual catheter during ET and they had to have two attempts to transfer it. That little 'embryo' is now asleep upstairs in his cot! 

Love
Kylecat xxx


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## RichmondLass

JJ you poor thing - you have trials and tribulations don't you?  Let's hope this actually works in your favour and tomorrow's the day for you and your embies to join forces! RLxx


----------



## Violet66

JJ - how disappointing. Hope tomorrow goes more smoothly for you. 

bluey - welcome to the donor egg thread - making the decision to use donor eggs is a pretty big one - it's understandable you feel wobbly - I know I did for a long time. You get used to it a bit more with every week though...


----------



## RichmondLass

Bluey take a good look at my profile pic - now snoozing in magic swing chair after showing off his new trick of trying to walk up and down my tummy.  You won't struggle for long.
RLx


----------



## Lou-Ann

JJ, sorry that ET didn't go to plan this morning   . I hope that all goes smoothly for you tomorrow     

Lou-Ann x


----------



## indekiwi

JJ1, how totally upsetting an experience for you.  I really hope your embies continue to thrive over night and that tomorrow's transfer is much more smooth than today, albeit with you facing your needle phobia (for which I have huge sympathies re the canula.  ) I'm so pleased that your donor's partner can be with you again tomorrow - truly, you have two phenomenal friends there.  Will be thinking of you tomorrow morning and ever hopeful that your time has finally come.


[/size]


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## bingbong

jj I'm sorry to hear about your day, I have been thinking about you. I really hope that everything goes really smoothly for you tomorrow. 

Bingbong x


----------



## indekiwi

Sarah, sorry, just catching up on this thread and seen your news.    Hang in there hun - so easy for someone else to write the words I know and so difficult to live through the daily grind of waiting, waiting, waiting for a chance of things finally coming right.      There really isn't any fairness in this world when it comes to fertility tx, but am wishing you so much luck for your next cycle of tx.     


Bluey, for many of us it has not been an easy journey to get our heads around donor egg treatment - it took me months (mostly in complete disbelief I think that infertility could be my lot having already conceived a child with OE) - how much more so for someone who has so generously helped other people to become parents?  I wish you peace in your decision to move on to DE tx and ultimately, joy in holding a new baby in your arms come 2011.


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## Rose39

JJ1 - so sorry that things didn't go to plan today hunny     Hope that everything goes really smoothly tomorrow and that you have some excellent 4 day embies to put back      

Rose xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Thanks for your good wishes girls - I am finally on 2ww! my first that I have managed to get to in 2 years!  I have pre acupuncture, then my donors partner popped my cannula in my arm for the IV sedation, then we went to the clinic, he was allowed to come into theatre and stay throughout, the embryologist said that they have developed further and one is nearly a morula and the other doing very well, he doesn't think that I'll be able to freeze the other 2.    He was so good, he said I was recovering and kept rambling on about a black limo and going to a party, and I would say to him stand up, sit down to him.  He then went and got me a sandwich and cup of tea from a cafe as I was starving.  Then we got a cab back to acupuncture in my drowiness.

We then came back to mine and I went to bed (he'd done a 12 hr night shift that sounded like hell running a busy A+E) but he didn't go to bed, he cleaned and dusted, did laundry - I had done bits yesterday, but he is v thorough.  Then he gave me my IM gestone- not too bad and sc clexane, so I am all pilled and injected.

Bless him he has just headed back home, to the south coast and said that he will come and give me my clexane tomorrow if needed, but I will try and if not my nurse friend lives down the road ashe has offered to help with injections.

I did think at one point today that I wasn't sure if I could go through this again.

bluey welcome to the thread, it is a hard decison.


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## lulumead

So pleased that you have had 2 popped back in, and are on a much deserved 2WW. I hope you are going to take it easy.


sending you lots of     


xxx


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## Rose39

JJ1 - fantastic that you're on the 2ww and that you have some excellent embies on board!      And what a sweetheart your donor's partner has been! Can I borrow him please?     . 

Wishing you all the luck in the world for your 2WW    

Rose xx


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## ambergem

Great news JJ, I'm so glad things went well today, sounds like you've got 2 lovely embies on board! Congrats on being PUPO. Wishing you loads and loads of luck     xx


----------



## bingbong

JJ that's great news! I have been popping in all day waiting for your news and it couldn't be better. I so want your donor and his partner to be my friends   

Wishing you so much luck for this 2ww, I so so hope that it is the one for you      

bingbong x


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## Lou-Ann

JJ, I am so pleased that everything went ok and you are now PUPO. Wishing you all the luck in the world and    that this is the one for you     

Lou-Ann x


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## cocochanel1

Woo hoo JJ1 that all sounds great!!! We are all rooting for you. xxx


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## blueytoo

JJ - so pleased to hear that ET went well today. Sounds like your embryos are nicely developed. Good luck


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## indekiwi

JJ1 - PUPO Girl!      Really pleased things went so well today and that you have two strong embies on board.  Sending lots of          and          that you don't have to think about going through all this again because this cycle comes up trumps.    


A-Mx


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## Roo67

JJ1 - that is fantastic news, was hoping i would get in from work to good news from you  - wishing you lots of love and luck for this time.

R xx


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## some1

JJ1 - fantastic news!  Sending you so much      for your 2ww and a wonderful BFP at the end of it!

Some1


xx


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## Felix42

Just catching up on the news. JJ, have everything crossed for you hun.   

Sarah, only just saw your news re cancellation.   That is just so hard. Hope you can be good to go again soon.   

Love & hugs, Felix xx


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## suitcase of dreams

Fantastic news JJ, I have everything crossed for you hun    

Suitcase
x


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## RichmondLass

Oh JJ brilliant news!  You are PUPO! Enjoy it and put your tootsies up. Your donor and his partner are stars. 
RLxx


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## Rose39

Suity - hope that your FET went really smoothly today and that you're safely back home again. Keeing fingers and toes crossed that this cycle works for you - you so deserve it hunny!          

Rose xx


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## RichmondLass

Suity I second that RLxxx


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## Roo67

and I 3rd it 

Really hope this is the one, have got everything crossed for you hun.

r x


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## suitcase of dreams

Thanks girls    

Mostly very smooth - I was pleasantly surprised by the whole Ryanair/Stansted experience which was actually painfree and flights both ways were on time (can't believe they were both full - why do so many people want to travel to Brno I wonder? They surely can't all be visiting Reprofit   )
Booked cheap hotel as only one night (Voronezh 2)and regretted it as no aircon and it was 32 degrees during day and not much less than 20 at night, so didn't sleep much - had to go and get ice from hotel bar to try and cool down. Plus embarrassing IVF moment no 32...housekeeping arriving to deliver allergy pillows just as I've a large gestone needle sticking out of left buttock - ho hum....

Barbara did transfer today and all good with 9-10mm lining. Only slight irritation was that I had, albeit some time back, asked S to thaw all 3 embies and put all back. Turns out they had only defrosted 2 (should have emailed again nearer the time I suppose) so had to go with 2. They did offer to thaw the 3rd one there and then but would have taken an hour which would have meant I was cutting it fine for return flight and I couldn't be doing with the stress of that. 
So I now have 1 poor little frostie left....which I suppose could be a good thing, but given that this is my 3rd DE attempt I really wanted to max my chances by putting all 3 back. Especially as all the immune tx costs me so much so FET is not as cheap as it otherwise might be   
But what's done is done, so there we go. 2 hatching blasts on board - one grade 1, one grade II, so we'll see. OTD officially 26th July, but I will inevitably test before that, especially since they are effectively day 6 embies

Anyway, should get to bed now I suppose, been a long day. Thanks for thinking of me    May not post much on 2WW board - find it too stressful..but will keep you posted!
Suitcase
x


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## sweet1

Good luck Suitcase - I'll say no more but wishing you all the very very best


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## ambergem

Wishing you loads & loads of luck Suitcase         

Linz xx


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## lulumead

everything crossed Suity.
xxxxxxxx


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## blueytoo

Been thinking of you today Suity. Keeping everything crossed for you hun


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## bingbong

Suity         I'll be thinking of you and really hope that this is the one   

bingbong x


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## midnightaction

*suity- *Fantastic new hun, I am so happy that it all went well. Shame about the 3 little embie not getting out of thaw, but maybe it's a sign, I very much believe in things like that happening for a reason. Who is Barbara, not heard of her, I take it she is new ?

Were your frosties Hatching Blasts when they were frozen, or were they just at blast stage? I am just trying to work out if there is a chance that there is time for embies to change from blast to XB or HB after they come out of the freezer ?

Hope the 2ww is not to painful for you and you get you much deserved BFP 

Sarah xxx


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## suitcase of dreams

Sarah - yes, think Barbara is new. She seems very nice, speaks good English and transfer was seamless/painless so nothing to fault there!

Think they were both HB before they were frozen, but will check my paperwork at home tonight and confirm that....

Suitcase
x


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## caramac

Good luck Suitcase...I've got everything crossed for you!!!!


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## midnightaction

Thanks *suity* 

The embies that Stepan has for me are just at blast stage and not expanding or hatching and I am a little worried they are not going to develop any further once they come out of the freezer. Probably just me worrying over nothing again 

Sarah x x


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## suitcase of dreams

Sarah - not sure there's any evidence that a hatching or expanding blast is any better than a blast hun....so try not to worry (easier said than done I know)
Last time I had 2 fresh hatching blasts grade 1 transferred and still BFN, so there's no guarantees in this crazy game that's for sure....I won't say stay positive because we both know that's nearly impossible and rather pointless anyway - what will be will be 
  
Suitcase
x


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## cocochanel1

Good luck Suity, glad the transfer went well. Will be thinking of you.
Coco xxx


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## some1

Good Luck Suitcase!        Hoping so much that this is the one for you !

Some1

xx


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## upsydaisy

I've got everything crossed for you that it is possible to cross!                     
so so hope that this is the one   
Upsy
xxx


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## suitcase of dreams

thank you all, it's lovely to know you're all out there willing my embies on - let's just hope it can make the difference   
Suitcase
x


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## Lou-Ann

Suity, glad all went ok. Wishing you loads of luck       

Lou-Ann x


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## kylecat

Hoping and praying that this is the one Suity     

Lots of love and luck coming your way   

Kylecat xxx


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## bingbong

Suity I've got everything crossed for you that this is the one 

bingbong x


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## suitcase of dreams

Thanks all   

Cem - don't be daft, nothing to apologise for - you've plenty on your plate right now    Hope you have little A home with you very soon   
Suitcase
x


----------



## Sima

Suity - I'm glad everything went smoothly for you.  Let's pray your embies are snuggling in for the long haul.


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## lulumead

fingers firmly crossed suity.       


so so hoping this is the one.
xxxxxx


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## Elpida

Suity - sending you lots of positive vibes, so glad you have them on board

E x x


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## hjanea

Everything crossed for you Suity!
Helen.xxx


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## midnightaction

Thanks suity, you always know the right things to say  

I have just been over analysing things again because it seemed that most Donor Embies were at hatching blast stage (from what I have read on the Reprofit thread) and I convinced myself that I had some poorer quality ones that are left over......... I know I'm crazy but that's what IF does to you  

Sarah x x


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## suitcase of dreams

All too easy to over analyse Sarah - we all do it, but I'm sure S has picked some really lovely embies just for you   

Suitcase
x


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## Betty-Boo

Suity - thinking of you honey x x x
Midnight - am abit behind so apologise in advance - all the best honey too x x x


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## midnightaction

*Mini* Thanks for the well wishes hun, I am keeping on the downlow this cycle, think I am just trying to live in denial !!! 

*suity* How you doing hun now your into your second week ? 

Sarah x x


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## suitcase of dreams

Oh, just about surviving thanks! Sure it hasn't worked as not feeling anything at all, but I won't know until next weekend so just got to stick it out...

Been busy all weekend at my sisters for my niece's 2nd b'day - prob did a bit more lifting and carrying than I should have, but then again, if it's going to stick, it's going to stick...

'Only' 6 days to go...
Suitcase
x


----------



## blueytoo

Keeping everything crossed for you Suity


----------



## Candee

Suity and Midnight I am thinking about you both and hoping this is the one for you both.
Hi to everyone else - Mini are you coming back soon?

Candee
x


----------



## Felix42

Just caught up on here. Wishing you both so much  Suity & Midnight. 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


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## weesa

Hello ladies, 

I am new here and really need information...

Please can you give me some information on donor embryos - where did you go? What did it cost? how long did you have to wait? How did you reach the decision? If you have had a child how do you feel?

Thankyou!
x


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## suitcase of dreams

Thanks for the good wishes everyone, OTD is Monday so I'll be along to post then....

Meantime welcome Weesa  
I'll have a go at your questions and I'm sure some of the others will be along to add their views soon...
If you specifically want donor embryos (vs a fresh DE cycle) then you are likely to have to go abroad. There are some donor embies available in the UK, but not very often. To find out about UK options, try these folks: http://www.ngdt.co.uk/
The main difference between UK and abroad is anonymity. In the majority of countries where you would go abroad for tx, donors remain anonymous and you/your child will never have more than very basic physical characteristics/information about the donor. In the UK donors have to be ID release which means you have access to more info potentially and the child would be able to contact (or at least try to) the donor(s) when they turn 18
So it's important to think this through and be sure you're comfortable with whichever route you decide to take on this

Most singlies seem to go to Czech Republic for donor embies/fresh DE cycles. 2 good options are Reprofit and Gyncentrum Ostrava. Prices are similar at around €1000-€1500 I think (excluding travel/accommodation etc). Have a look on the Czech board for these clinic threads - the ladies there are sure to be able to help (I myself am at Reprofit although I have had fresh DE rather than donor embryos)
I think there's no wait at Ostrava, somewhere around 4-6 months at Reprofit. Another option seems to be Ukraine - again check out the thread on this one.You could also try Spain or Greece (Serum seems to get partic good reviews for fresh cycles although I don't know about donor embryos)

How did I reach the decision to go the DE route? Well, I had several failed cyles with my own eggs and one miscarriage. I also had PGD on one cycle which showed all my embies to be chromosomally abnormal. And I turned 40...and basically my consultant was giving me odds of less than 5% success with my own eggs and so for me it ended up being a pretty simple decision - the odds being so much better with DE. That said, it took me 6 months or more to really come to terms with it, to work out how I felt about anon vs ID release donors, what/how I would tell the child, and basically to grieve the loss of my own genetic child. I had counselling which was invaluable and really helped me work out how I felt and what was right for me. It's such a personal thing...we all feel so differently about the different issues. 
I initially had tx in the UK because I wanted an ID release donor - I felt this was 'better' for the child. However I had some bad experiences with a cancelled cycle and then a BFN and the costs are so high in the UK that I was running out of money. So to some extent I made a pragmatic/financial decision to go abroad, but it was also about getting better service and higher success rates (in the UK egg donors are generally egg sharers with some fertility issues, overseas they are younger/with no fertility issues so success rates do creep up a bit...)
I took some time to work through the anonymity stuff with my counsellor and whilst in my heart of hearts I would still rather have an ID release donor, I have come to accept that I don't and that this is something me and any child I am lucky enough to have, will work out together...

I haven't got pg yet, so I can't comment on how I feel about the child, but what I can say is that I've personally met several of the singlies here who have DE conceived babies and I know they love them unconditionally and never for a moment think of them as anything less than 'their' child - but I'm sure they'll be along to tell you that themselves soon 

Hope this has helped, feel free to PM me with questions!
Suitcase
x


----------



## blueytoo

Weesa, I am about to have donor embryos at Reprofit in the Czech Republic. It costs 1000 euros for two blastocyst embryos and if you aren't bothered about the blood group of either donor then you won't really have to wait. 

My drugs for the cycle were £103 but I have double the amount of progesterone than most people and I have immune drugs included in that too. I think the cost would be approx £40/50 for most people.


----------



## weesa

Thankyou Suitcase, and blueytoo. 

Blueytoo, can I ask you about your thought processes? Will you tell/not tell? etc?

Please msg me privately if that is more comfortable....

x


----------



## blueytoo

Weesa - I was always in the tell camp before but my situation is now more complicated than that. I have my DS who is biologically mine and I have donated eggs myself four times and so have other biological children out there somewhere. 

I worry that it's all going to be too much extra for a child to grasp and deal with so at this point I just haven't decided what to do.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

weeza - If I am lucky enough to get pg, I personally will definitely tell - not least because I have already told family (mother & 2 sisters) plus close friends that I am using both donor eggs and sperm - and I would hate to put the child in a situation where others know and they do not
I am hoping that I will be able to introduce it gradually as they get older so that it's actually something they have always 'known' and it's just who they are...rather than something I would sit down and 'tell' them at a certain point in time - although I'm sure if and when it happens for me, I'll find it's all much harder than it sounds just writing it here now 

But that's just me - the tell/not tell question is really a tricky one and everyone has their own views. there are several good threads on this on the DE board..check out:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=29148.0

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=242720.0

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=238627.0

Suitcase
x


----------



## weesa

Suitcase, Blueytoo, 
I take it you didn't use this 'My IVF Alternative' that Reprofit talk about as it seems really expensive?

I can't seem to find prices on their website, and they say going directly through them is a wait of 8-10 months - is that what you both found?


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi weesa, 

My IVF Alternative basically take care of the organisation side of things, liaise with the clinic for you and help with flights, transfers etc and I had heard they could get you a date for fresh DE cycle more quickly - although I don't know how quickly, or whether they can also 'fast track' for FET/embryos as well as fresh cycles
I believe they are quite popular with the ladies who come over from the US - perhaps because the logistics can be more challenging if you're coming from across the Atlantic. That said, plenty of the US ladies organise their own tx in Europe too.

I'm assuming you are in the UK/Europe, and it's really easy to get to Reprofit, you certainly don't need an agency to organise any of that. And you don't need any help with communication etc - it's easy to do it all yourself via email. That said, if it's going to be your very first attempt at any type of fertility tx, I would advise going over there for a consultation - it's much easier to discuss everything face to face and it gives you a chance to work out the logistics and feel comfortable with the journey before you go 'for real' as it were. 
As an example of how easy and cheap it can be, for my recent FET I flew Ryanair from Stansted, leaving 2pm Sunday. Stayed over in a 3* hotel for one night, visited the clinic for transfer at 2pm Monday, straight back to airport, 5pm flight back, home by 9.30pm. Around £100 for flights, £50 for hotel, a few quid for buses from airport and food and that was it really - cheaper than a consultation in London (Reprofit don't actually charge for a consultation I think...)

Waiting list for fresh cycle is about 10 months though, so if you really wanted to go sooner, you could pay the premium to My IVF Alternative to get an earlier slot, but you'd have to decide if that was worth it. I think wait for frozen embryos is more like 3-4 months depending on your selection criteria. 
Or you could try Gyncentrum Ostrava who have no waiting list for either apparently...

Hope this helps,
Suitcase
x


----------



## Sharry

New Home

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=243131.0


----------

