# Difference between fostering and adoption



## Highlander2016 (May 20, 2016)

I am new this is and only have a vague idea of what the difference between fostering and adoption is. Can anyone please tell me if this is right:

Adoption is to take full parental responsibility of the child.
Fostering is to take partial?

Also can someone explain why you would be more inclined to do one and not the other?

Thanks.


----------



## Thepinklady (Apr 16, 2014)

The difference with adoption and forstering are huge! Some people make choices about fostering and adoption depending on their own circumstances.

With adoption once adoption order is granted you have full parental responsibility and any decisions regarding that child eg. Schooling, medical needs, etc are made entirely by you. 

When fostering you in fact have no parental rights. Depending on the child and the case the parental rights are either shared by birth parents and social services or fully by social services. Social services may deligate some of this to the foster carers but these are likely to be basic decision making e.g. Whether they can go on a school trip, hair cut, minor medical treatment. Most decision making regarding that child e.g. What school they go to, major medical decisions, holidays etc will be made by the social worker in conjunction with all people involved with that child which would include long term foster carers. Ultimately if the child is with you long term until they are 18 they will always have an assigned social worker and foster carers will be involved in regular meetings etc with them. Often one carer would be expected to be at home full time or at least part time so for many fostering is not an option due to financial practicalities. 

Often adoption is not deemed as suitable for older children (5 years upwards) as severing those links with birth family at that age is often very damaging for the children and in these cases long term fostering would be seen as a more favourable outcome for the child allowing them to keep up strong links with their birth family but providing them with a safe and stable loving home in which to grow up in. Therefore good committed long term foster carers are needed but it is not suitable for everyone. Foster carers need to decide can they commit to the heavy time commitment to attend meetings, facilitate contact with birth families and love with the emotional difficulties and planning for that child's future alongside a whole team of people. 

what age of child/children do you want to care for? - if you are thinking a young baby but want them permanently in your care then Adoption is probably the only way forward. If you are thinking older children and can live with the emotional insecurities associated with fostering then maybe fostering would be an option. Foster carers are amazing and do a very difficult job and are absolutely needed but may not be right for you.

Ultimately you should contact your local authority who will come out and talk you though the options available in your area and help you make an informed decision. Good luck!


----------



## Highlander2016 (May 20, 2016)

Thank you so much pink lady for your quick and detailed response. You have answered most of my questions.

I think I am leaning towards fostering. Can I ask is their an age limit for foster carers and if you don't click with the child in your care do you get help?


----------



## Thepinklady (Apr 16, 2014)

The  upper age limit is usually more flexible with fostering than adoption. Your health would be more important than age. Foster carers have their own social worker and also the child who is placed with you have their own social worker so lots of people on hand to give support and advice with placements. Also if the child had complex needs it would be up to the la to finance and provide necessary medical treatment, therapies and intervention programmes. You would get much more ongoing support both practically and emotionally with children placed with you than through adoption. 

As every la is different in how they support and financially recompense foster carers it would be important to ask to meet with someone from your authority to see how it works. Either route adoption or fostering there is a very thorough and intense assessment and home study to undergo before you are presented to a panel where you are approved or not approved. Hope this helps.


----------



## Highlander2016 (May 20, 2016)

Yes it does help a lot pink lady, thank you very much once again.


----------



## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

Our social worker once said fostering is a job, adoption is becoming a parent through a different avenue.
Fostering is having someone else's children, adoption is becoming a parent...

Very brief, and much more to both than that though 😊 Good luck!


----------



## Thepinklady (Apr 16, 2014)

Nicola I have the reply regarding the comment made by your social worker. This is an entirely inaccurate and offensive statement and should never have been made by a well informed experienced social worker. For some and most definitely the minority rather than the majority fostering may be seen as simply a job. However, for the majority fostering is far more than job. Financial recumpence barely covers the costs of raising the child so therefore not a job. Any foster carers I know are most definitely parenting to the full capacity that parents do whether they are parents through birth or adoption.  Some children usually those who are taken into care after about the age of five adoption is not appropriate.  For many of these children they will need to remain in care until they are adults but adoption would not be appropriate as it would sever all links with their family and extended family to which regardless of what they have put them through they still see them as their family. Therefore foster care is the appropriate means of providing them with a loving and stable home while allowing them to maintain safe and appropriate links with their family. For many of these children they will spend the rest of their childhood and teen years with the one loving caring family. These foster carers will very much parent them in every sense of the word. They may co-parent with the birth family if appropriate in allowing them to share or have input in some decision making although in essence this is unlikely. They will co-parent largely with a social worker and have input in decision making. There are many ways to parent, through birth and adoption are only two ways. My friend fostered her son from the age of four. He is now 21 and finishing university which they have funded because that is what they did for their first two children who happened to come to them through birth. Would that social worker say that for the past 17 years they have just been doing a job, 'looking after someone's else's child', or would they say they have parented him - sat up half the night worrying about where he is, sitting with him when is ill, fighting for his educational needs to be met etc. That is not my idea of a job! 

I may have went on a little here. I do have tendency to but I am afraid that comment made me very cross. I know Nicola that it did not come from you but from a well informed social worker and I think that is what makes me cross. There is such a need for a variety of people to take on the role of parents to vulnerable children and young people. Adoption is only one and should not be promoted over fostering. Both are equally valid ways to raise and parent children. I truly hope you do not feel like I am getting at you, I  am not it  is just that I  needed to counteract that argument.


----------



## Dame Edna (May 17, 2007)

once you receive an adoption order you have full parental rights 'as if the child had been born to you'.  

If you do foster to adopt for example, you get paid/allowance up until the adoption order.  Once you get the order, then any fostering payment stops.

X


----------



## SWGirl (Aug 19, 2004)

Hello,  initially children are placed in foster care when they are removed from their birth parents / current carer etc.  The foster carer/s need to care for that child as the most careful and caring parent would whilst baring in mind that foster child usually needs more care and nurturing than their own birth child may need as children taken into care are typically extremely vulnerable (some teenagers taken into care may present as being very streetwise etc but in fact may have been taught very little by their birth parents about how to keep themselves safe etc).  Foster carers therefore need to parent that child but in fact there is also a great deal of daily paperwork to complete and professional meetings to attend so there is certainly a job aspect to it.  These two elements of being a foster carer are acknowledged by the fact that there are two separate payments made to a foster carer.  One payment is an allowance for the child and the other payment is a payment to the carer.  With fostering you are looking after someone else's child and checks are constantly made that the child's needs are being met and that the child is receiving as much care as the local authority can offer etc.  Typically only children under six years old will be deemed suitable for adoption as consideration needs to be given as to whether contact with birth siblings etc should be maintained in the interests of the various siblings etc.  For a child to be eligible for adoption it must also be decided that there is very little hope of changes being made by the birth family etc that would make it safe for the child to return home.


----------



## SWGirl (Aug 19, 2004)

For a child, the notable differences between fostering and adoption would be the type and amount of contact they have with birth family members and which people they call 'mum', 'dad', 'my sister' etc.


----------



## SWGirl (Aug 19, 2004)

If you do have a paticular age group of child that you would rather care for then it would be a good idea to check whether your local authority / foster agency allow you to state a preferred age group as some authorities are not willing to go through the lengthy fostering assessment process and panel process for prospective carers that are not willing to consider teenagers that arrive in the local authorities care as placements for teenagers are typically the most in demand.


----------



## Highlander2016 (May 20, 2016)

Thank you for all your replies, very informative. I'm still leaning towards fostering. Not sure of age group
But it sounds like the very nature of fostering means the child is older but I wasn't interested in bringing a child younger than three into my family anyway.


----------

