# Help



## cacamac (Mar 16, 2013)

Im losing my mind,keep crying all the time and im fed up of wishing for something that might not happen  im trying to keep my heartbreak from my partner because i dont want to keep going on about it to him. Its really getting to me </3


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## Jacobsmum (Feb 23, 2013)

Cacamac

Sorry you are feeling so down about this. sending   
Infertility is just awful, and it doesn't go away, and every month you get reminded about things not working 'simply' or 'naturally'.

You are _not_ losing your mind, and it is normal to get down about things not working out. It is very very hard to balance hope for something that you want so much with realism - 'it might never happen'. This can mean you feel up and then plunged down into deep dark places.

If you are crying all the time, do you have anyone to talk to (apart from your partner)? If you have been refered to a clinic, have you seen anyone yet? I found a specialist fertility counsellor at the local NHS hospital I was referred to hugely helpful. I found out I could phone up and make an appointment to see the counsellor even when I was on the waiting list, and not actually having treatment. She was brilliant. I know of other people who have found the right counsellor really helps - sometimes this is not the first one you see. I had a few difficult patches (bit of an understatment!) on my ttc journey - sometimes not helped by other stresses and strains (work stuff at one stage). the first tough time I saw the counsellor, got signed off work for a couple of weeks and made myself do things that I needed to do - made myself exercise every day, saw friends (I had been cutting down on socialising, stopped seeing a few friends (with little ones)), got back into creative stuff i had stopped. Felt much better after a few weeks, and continued to feel better. Two more years of failure later, and much more workplace stress - reorganisation, being interviewed to remain at same grade - and I got even more depressed. That time I needed medication, not just a week or two off work. I was really concerned that it would affect treatment, but the consultant said it wouldn't and also pointed me in the direction of a couple of articles suggesting that women whose depression is treated have better treatment outcomes for infertility, than those who are untreated.

You are not alone, so keep posting here (sorry you didn't have more replies sooner - sometimes different boards get busier/ quieter).

Hope things pick up for you soon.

All best wishes
Jacob's mum


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