# Adopting a child with biological child



## helchris1981 (Oct 6, 2016)

Hi there, myself and my husband have a little girl who is 3 in October, since she was 1 we've been trying for another child with no success as I am menopausal. For the last year we've been thinking about adoption, certainly not only to give her a sibling but because we think we can give another child a loving home and a great childhood. We're struggling with whether this is the right thing to do though and I wondered if any has any advice or their own stories they could share? Anything I may not have thought about? I feel like if we didn't already have her it would be a no brainer, but we have to consider her too.


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Hi, it's really common for adopters to have birth children too. They would match you very carefully and prepare all of you as a family. Your best bet is to get in touch with your local authority and go to an information session and see if it's for you. Its not my personal situation as all of my children are adopted, but I have friends who have birth children and have gone on to adopt. All I can tell you from what they have told me is that the two are very different experiences - neither less special than the other - but adoption is much harder. Adoption is like mining diamonds - incredibly hard, but the rewards are priceless and beautiful.


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## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

I have 1 birth child and 3 adopted. Oldest was 3 when we adopted for the first time. Going through the process of adoption was so hard and we questioned ourselves at times but I can honestly it was the best thing we did. Our kids all have a great relationship - it's true that might not always be the case but that's the same with biological siblings. 

I have no regrets, nor does birth child who regularly asks if we can just adopt 2 more!!! 

Feel free to ask me questions.


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## helchris1981 (Oct 6, 2016)

Thanks tictoc, can i ask what age your children were when you adopted them? And how did you go about raising it with your birth child initially? And how and when did you know it was the right thing for you to do? Our daughter is almost 3 now so she's likely to be 3 and a half/4 if we decide to adopt


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## WatermelonBelly (May 18, 2017)

I know of a family who adopted a 9-year-old when their biological child was 11. Not sure how they approached it with the older child. However, I've heard that it's advisable for family dynamics and both children to adopt a child younger than the biological one.


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## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

Birth child was 2.5 when we started the process - we would just talk about how I couldn't make another baby in my tummy so we were going to find a child who didn't have a family and see if they were right to join our family. First adoption she was 12 months at coming home. Next one was 9 months coming home and last was 11 weeks.

I think we just knew we really wanted more children but I was scared as to whether we were doing the right thing every single time. Having another child, bio or adopted is always a risk


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