# Newbie - feeling a little glum



## kimmibobs (Jun 26, 2014)

Hi everyone, 

Completely new at this forum thing so hope I'm doing this right! I've decided to come on here as I'm lacking people to talk to really. Hubby and I have been TTC for 18 months now, with no success. We'd just started investigations with out GP when we moved out of the area, and it's taken us 6 months to persuade the new GP to help, as they don't like to investigate until you've been trying for 2 years (the old place was only one year). I've had some tests, none of which have shown anything other than a few low progesterone counts, which no-one seems too bothered about. Hubby is waiting for an appointment for his sperm test (they reckon it'll be about 6 weeks), and once that's done I should get in the queue for a hysterosalpingogram.
So we don't know we're infertile, but so far nothing's working for us. We've tried temping and I've got more folic acid in me than anything else, he's eating brazil nuts... we're doing everything we can. I'm 33 now and just starting, for the first time in 18 months, to feel a bit despondent about the whole thing. Everyone around me has kids already or is pregnant, and I've been really positive up till now, but I'm starting to feel quite down. Any tips on how to pick myself up? I have supportive friends and family who are all lovely, but can't say anything other than "try not to worry too much", or "it'll happen if you just relax". I have been remarkably relaxed about it up until now, but as time marches on I'm finding it harder each day. 

Thanks for any help out there! 

Kim xx


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

to FF, Kim!!!

It is annoying that things are going so slowly for you and your new doctor made you wait longer for investigations. I hope you get to the top of that waiting list soon. Some people (like myself) have all the tests and the doctors can´t find anything wrong. In our case they decided to do IUI to "see what happens" as they had no idea why we weren´t conceiving. I wish they could find something because at least they would give us some idea of our chances of conceiving each month, instead of having all this disappointment.

I lost a couple of friends because they didnt understand why I couldnt spend as much time with them when they were pregnant, I think unless you have issues you can´t really comprehend the inpact it has on someones life. And dont get me started on people's insenstive comments, they should really think what they are saying before opening their mouths! There is a "Coping With Infertility" section ~ CLICK HERE that you might find useful.

Here are a few general links that I think might help you.

Regional ~ CLICK HERE You could chat to others in your area, perhaps they have ideas on length of waiting lists.

Trying To Conceive Naturally with Fertility / Health Issues ~  CLICK HERE

Fertility Investigations - CLICK HERE

Complementary and Holistic Approaches - CLICK HERE

What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~   CLICK HERE

Chat Zone section which will give you info on upcoming chats in the chat room: CLICK HERE

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it.

Good luck!             

Sue


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## Pudding34 (May 13, 2013)

Hi Kim

I can completely sympathise with your feelings Hun!

We began trying to conceive around the same time as you age wise.

Something you may want to consider is a private MOT fertility test! Lots of private clinics do them and it can give you a starting block to assist you with obtaining funding of you identify an issue.

We had only been trying for about a year but as I was about to turn 34 we decided to do the private tests, we took those tests to our GP but sadly he he wasnt helpful, it took an abnormal smear ( turned out all clear) for us to meet a wonderful gynae who gave us our funding but without commencing the private tests we would still be waiting so if you have a local clinic that does something like this and you can afford it I highly recommend it!

Something else that stuck out for me is that you said you had low progesterone results, how low were they? On my first ICSI cycle I had early bleeding and after two chemical pregnancies (both ICSI, one fresh one frozen) we did further immune tests privately) our private consultant said that my progesterone could have been low hence the early bleeding and has put me on gestone, fingers crossed this has worked as my official test  day  was Wednesday and we got a positive or BFP in FF speak, I am just waiting on my second beta test to see if the HCG has doubled! (As I have had two chemicals I am making sure all is well before I get too excited).

Definitely ask them to look at this again, if you do IVF they give you progesterone support in the form of pessaries but some people me included don't metabolise them so bear it in mind if your progesterone is naturally low!

Picking yourself up is a hard one babe but having a plan and doing tests, dog something, has helped me!

A very wise fellow FF told me that you have to take each day at a time, somebody else said don't worry about other people having babies you want your baby not theirs and both of these really helped me!

I wish you the best of luck my love!

Pudding
X


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## kimmibobs (Jun 26, 2014)

Aw wow, thank you both so much for your lovely replies! 

We have thought about going private - I'm just a bit overwhelmed by the cost. But I guess you can't really put a price on these things - and if it means we know what's going on then it'll at least put my mind at rest. I'll talk to hubby about it. 

The progesterone results were really low, I can't remember the exact figures but I know they were low on both CD21 and CD3. I tried using OPKs but never got a positive result, despite my period being relatively regular. I had a few blood tests trying to work out what was going on and eventually I got a "borderline" progesterone on CD21, at which point they said "right well you're normal then, thanks bye!" and that was that. That was over a year ago now though so hoping new GP will re-run them at least. Is it possible to have a period without ovulating? Consistently? What would be the cause of something like this?

Sue, thank you so much for the links. I've found complementary medicine helpful for other problems (skin, hayfever etc) so I will see if I can find anything helpful there. 

I am feeling a little more chirpy this week, not sure why! Sunshine helps, as does being kept busy. Period due Wednesday so we'll see what happens. 

Thank you again for being so lovely - just what I needed!  

Kim xx


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## karenanna (Dec 27, 2008)

Kimmibobs

I found you an old post on exactly this topic CLICK HERE

It may be worth posting on the investigations thread to see if anyone else has had similar -CLICK HERE

KA xxx


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## karenanna (Dec 27, 2008)

Also check out Angelbumps Fertility Protocol - CLICK HERE


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## lilllis (Jul 1, 2014)

Hi Kim, 

I am also new to this site, and we are at the same place you are at. I have been to the Drs and had bloods, we have another 10 days till DH sperm test. 

I have read so many negatives in regards to waiting times on the NHS and because we have limited funds if we go private then I would need to be an egg donor to afford treatment. I am 30 and the clinic I have read up on only takes eggs up to 32 yr, so i don't really have the time to wait 18 months for NHS either

to add something else in to the mix my DH had PKD so there is a 50/50 chance to pass this on to our child - there is screening what can be done but its 9k and I don't think egg donation will cover this 

Planning to go to CRGW end of the month for some advise

I hope you get your appoints and test results back soon, 

As we are both at the same stage if you need someone to talk to to feel free to msg me

Lis


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## kimmibobs (Jun 26, 2014)

Hi all,

Thanks again for your replies. I had a total meltdown the other day when I got my period - I feel so silly now looking back but at the time I was just so fed up! Feeling more positive now - didn't want to come on here and give everyone my bad vibes!

Lis thanks so much for your offer - let's keep in touch. We have DH's test at the beginning of Aug so I'll let you know how we get on. He had his blood tests the other week and is being a typical man about phoning up for his results! 

I just find it so unfair, the whole postcode lottery. I took positive action the other and wrote to my MP about it - got a reply straight away and he's on the case! http://infertilitynetworkuk.com/niac_2. In general the age that people try to conceive is older now, and as age is such a big factor in fertility I really think they should be prepared to investigate sooner. Our area is two years before they'll see you - that's a long time to be trying and it takes a big emotional toll.

Kim xx


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## lilllis (Jul 1, 2014)

Hi Kim, 

I went to the open eve at a clinic in Cardiff last week and going to another next week

I saw my GP 8 weeks ago and I called, they had not even sent my ultrasound appointment off, GP on holiday nothing they can do till she is back... I think if this is just for an ultrasound I dread to think how long it would all take x

DH couldn't get to the SA due to work  but for the sake of £75 he will have to go private 

hope your MP helps with your waiting time, 

my AF is due in 3 days... BFN on HPTs so far, this is the 30th cycle of BFNs ... I am booking in my paddy and breakdown for 3 days time lol x

but on a positive I feel like this might be a new chapter x keep in touch x


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## Me Myself and I (Dec 30, 2012)

kimmibobs said:


> The progesterone results were really low, I can't remember the exact figures but I know they were low on both CD21 and CD3. I tried using OPKs but never got a positive result, despite my period being relatively regular. I had a few blood tests trying to work out what was going on and eventually I got a "borderline" progesterone on CD21, at which point they said "right well you're normal then, thanks bye!" and that was that. That was over a year ago now though so hoping new GP will re-run them at least.* Is it possible to have a period without ovulating?* Consistently? What would be the cause of something like this?


Sadly yes it is.

Though usually if having regular af, it may mean some months you do ovulate and that drugs like clomid help regulate this.


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## kimmibobs (Jun 26, 2014)

Oh they are hopeless - 8 weeks and they'd not even sent the appointment off?! Well done you for calling! 

Yep, worth going private if it means it gets done. We've both booked the afternoon off as the clinic is 45 mins away, and you have to deliver it within the hour. Rather than risk hitting traffic etc we're going to do the "deposit" there - both very nervous!!!! 

Oh hon I do hope AF doesn't appear, but if she does, attack her with chocolate and a good cry. That's my modus operandi! I've given up doing HPTs until I'm overdue - can't handle the disappointment. Then of course when it does arrive I'm a wreck!

Fingers crossed this is the beginnings of something special - I'll keep you posted on our progress xx


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## kimmibobs (Jun 26, 2014)

Pudding - hoping you got the result you wanted after your second test!!!! xx


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## LittleStampede (Jul 1, 2014)

Hi all,

I'm fairly new to this as well so thought I'd pop my head in and say hello. We've been trying for over a year now and nothing's happening. DH is 48, I'm 29. We had some tests at the end of 2013 (DH blood test, me progesterone test) and all came back normal and we were told to basically go away and wait.

Went back last week as nothing had happened and I had blood tests (getting results tomorrow) and DH booked in for a SA on Weds, so fingers crossed. The Dr was trying to get us referred to a fertility specialist at the hospital.

Anyway, just thought I'd let you know that you're not the only one going through this  

x


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## kimmibobs (Jun 26, 2014)

Hi Little Stampede,

Welcome! It's so frustrating to be sent away. But it sounds like you're on the road now - fingers crossed you get somewhere. I find I almost want them to find something just so we can understand what we're dealing with and do something about it! Good luck - let us know how you get on! 

Maybe we could start a thread for people just starting investigations in July/Aug so we can keep each other posted?

Kim xx


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## karenanna (Dec 27, 2008)

kimmibobs said:


> Hi Little Stampede,
> 
> Welcome! It's so frustrating to be sent away. But it sounds like you're on the road now - fingers crossed you get somewhere. I find I almost want them to find something just so we can understand what we're dealing with and do something about it! Good luck - let us know how you get on!
> 
> ...


Hi Kim

I'm trying to find the best place to set up somewhere for you to chat. We'll get back to you soon.

KA xxx


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## LittleStampede (Jul 1, 2014)

Hi Kim,

Yes I know - it's so frustrating being told nothing is wrong!

KarenAnna - a discussion for people like us would be great, I look forward to hearing back from you about it.

Amy x


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## Pudding34 (May 13, 2013)

Hi Kimmibobs!

I got a good rise on my HCG and then had a really scary time last week with a scary looking bleed and pain my side.

My local EPAU did a scan and ruled out ectopic but it was too early to tell a anything else.

On Friday we had a scan at our clinic and saw a early heartbeat, we aren't out if the woods yet as the measurements were small and the heartbeat not as fast as they would have liked. 

They wanted us to wait almost two weeks for another scan and so we have booked a private one inbetween as I just can't wait that long!

Really praying that the scan was just a bit too early and all will be up to date by next week!

Pudding
X


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## kimmibobs (Jun 26, 2014)

Aw Pudding, that sounds promising albeit a little scary! Crossing my fingers for you - I'd do exactly the same and do a scan sooner, just to help keep your mind at rest. Thinking of you xx


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## karenanna (Dec 27, 2008)

LittleStampede said:


> Hi Kim,
> 
> Yes I know - it's so frustrating being told nothing is wrong!
> 
> ...


Hi everyone

Here is a place for you to chat whilst awaiting the results of your tests and investigations http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=324110.new#new

KA xxx


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## lilllis (Jul 1, 2014)

Hi Kimm

How were your results? We have ours back - there was a few issues but nothing that icsi cant sort and we will need it along with PGD anyway.

We have our private clinic appointment on Friday for talk and ultrasound, a private meeting with a dr Saturday to get the genetics report paperwork (8 month wait on nhs or £250 private and 1wk wait) and we hope that NHS will then fund everything else! pls cross your fingers for me!


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## kimmibobs (Jun 26, 2014)

Hi Lis! 

Oo that all sounds quite promising! £250 is a small price to pay to skip 8 month waiting! Any reason why ICSI and not IVF? I'm not totally clear on the difference to be honest! What were the other issues? Let us know how things go later in the week - so pleased you're seem to be moving things along quickly now!!! Are you feeling quite positive?

We have the SA today, then I guess it'll be a week or so for results, then I'm due the hysteropingogram although not had an appointment through yet. They'll also repeat my bloods as it's over a year since they were taken. I was chatting to a friend the other day about egg donation wondering if was an option for us to reduce treatment cost, and she'd looked into it previously. They'd turned her down because her mum was adopted, and they wanted at least two generations of medical history. I'll have the same problem as my Dad is adopted, so looks like it's going to be full price for us...

Fingers, toes, legs, arms and eyes all crossed for you xx


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## LittleStampede (Jul 1, 2014)

Hi all,

Lis - that sounds positive for you - I agree that £250 is a small price to pay! 

Kim - I'm also not clear on the difference - could someone explain it please?

DH had his SA but the clinic 'lost' it and have no record of him or his results - so he's now booked in again for Friday, then hopefully they'll rush through the results (it normally takes 2wks) so that we can get some answers. I'm not sure what I'm expecting - if all comes back normal then why aren't we getting pregnant, but at the same time if it comes back abnormal then where do we go from here? Reading some of the stories on other threads it looks like a long road, and I just want to be a Mummy 

At the moment I'm taking each day at a time - some are good and some are bad. Sometimes I can't bear to be around babies or hear baby talk, othertimes I love it. Anyone else find this?

xx


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## lilllis (Jul 1, 2014)

Morning Kim & Little

You guys should go to an open evening for a private clinic the info is really good - I have been to two, one had £900 off the cost if IVF (This was with the Londons women's clinic in Cardiff) I didn't really like that if im honest, that they reduce the cost to get more people through the door, but it look beautiful in there and maybe too showy and they told me what we needed to do (which is not a bad thing) the other CRWG offered free SA which we took them up on - but the presentation was fantastic, the information they gave was so informative and explained in a way that was easy to understand - but they don't offer PGD so they recommended a clinic that does which I appreciated 

ICSI is where they take a sperm and inject the sperm into the egg, we have to do this as DH has lazy sperm (which is funny I take the mick because he is the most un-lazy person you would ever meet) Otherwise if your DH sperm is OK they would put egg and sperm in together and let them get on with it

With egg donation, I did think about it, but the UK does not give you anonymity meaning at 16 the child could look you up - spain and other countries don't have this so I think some people prefer that option - I think I could do it - I like to think I could 

good luck with SA both of you - they might tell you the same day with the results  GL  PS do not panic when you get the numbers back! they might all sound very low but after talking with one of these clinic is don't matter if your DH has 1% as they can still work with that!


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## LittleStampede (Jul 1, 2014)

Thanks Lil, great suggestion and thanks for the info. It's something I haven't really done much research on as I don't want to jinx it - I'm trying to think positive and hope that we won't have to go down that road. We have a couple of holidays planned this month so I'm going to try and forget about it (unlikely!!) until after our hols and until we have the SA back.


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## kimmibobs (Jun 26, 2014)

Thanks for the info Lis, very helpful! I think your suggestion of going to an open evening is a good one - I saw one advertised yesterday and will try to go along. DH has done the SA - not as stressful as he thought but he's still quite relieved to have it over with! He's absolutely convinced he'll have zero sperm. They said about 10 days for results, thankfully I'm going away with work for 8 days as of Friday so I'll be very distracted! I'll keep you posted...


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## lilllis (Jul 1, 2014)

Morning girls - I am please your DH is happier to have done his SA Kim LOL my DH was the same haha but good job you have work to keep you busy - hope your off somewhere nice 

Deff go to an open night - you might even get a one on one with a dr. and then you can ask lots of questions etc.

Little I hope you enjoy your holidays - I work in travel so around people who travel all year round but because we have been saving for this PGD I have not been away since we got married in Croatia last yr.... I really want a holiday - I have talked DH in to a holiday over Christmas if NHS fund our treatment!

I had my Anti-Müllerian Hormone (AMH)test back yesterday and I am 57.9... which is good apparently so I am super happy about that! should have no issues with getting eggs for IVF!

Oxford client appointment tomorrow - feeling very nervous but supper happy the day has come!

Speak soon  x


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## karenanna (Dec 27, 2008)

lilllis said:


> I had my Anti-Müllerian Hormone (AMH)test back yesterday and I am 57.9... which is good apparently so I am super happy about that! should have no issues with getting eggs for IVF!
> 
> Oxford client appointment tomorrow - feeling very nervous but supper happy the day has come!
> 
> Speak soon  x


Lilllis - I have high AMH like you - for levels over 48 it is an indicator that you are polycystic. You could just have PCO and not the syndrome PCOS. If you have the syndrome you may have a tendency to weight gain, additional hair, irregular periods etc... I don't have the syndrome just PCO.

You definitely need to talk to your clinic, as you are likely to produce lots of eggs and be at risk of hyper stimulation. Also in my case, my eggs weren't great quality and I had to take a medication called metformin to improve their quality.

If you want more info - let me know

KA xxx

PS ladies - as this is an introductions section and you are all awaiting next steps could I ask you to chat on this thread - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=324110.0


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## lilllis (Jul 1, 2014)

Hi Karen, 

Thank you for the msg - I will look in to it - the clinic tomorrow will do an ultrasound so they should see if I have PCO?

my Af are always within 29/31 day cycles, I do put on weight and find it very had to lose it (I done a 1000 cal Cambridge diet for a month and only lost 7lb) but I have a BMI of 25 and I wouldn't say I was hairy.... who knows maybe I do/don't have it.  

would this effect the chances of IVF/PGD working??

Thanks

Lis  x


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## karenanna (Dec 27, 2008)

Lis

The main thing will ladies who are polycystic is they tend to produce lots of follicles, so 

1. There is a risk of OHSS (ovarian hyper stimulation)
2. Sometimes as the body is trying to produce too many eggs in the follicles they can be immature or not as good quality

Being careful what doses of meds they use to stimulate you and regular scans, plus lots of water should helps with 1.

Metformin is a drug that helps with 2.

Just think it will help to go to your appointment with this information so you can get ahead.

I would definitely ask about the points above. It won't stop the IVF/PGD working just gives a better chance of it working if you have all the info.

KA xxx


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## Stephkb6713 (Aug 11, 2014)

Hi guys

My name is steph (so you don't have to call me by my username lol) and I am brand new to all if this and was hoping to meet some people who are going through similar stuff so hopefully I've come to the right place. 

My husband and I have been together for 5 years and have been trying for a baby for around 3. With no success we found out his sperm count is really low so we have had to seek help. We had our first consultation with a consultant in May and I had to have a scan which came back fine and hubby had have a repeat test which still came back low. So, we went back to the doctor today and we have been approved for icsi treatment. I am really scared!  I know it is an amazing thing that we are getting the help we need but it's just not what you expect to have to do to have a family when your were little if you know what I mean. Just wanted to see if anyone else feels the same way about it really or if I'm being silly. So many things keep running through my mind. What if it doesn't work? What if something goes wrong!? What if it puts strain on our relationship? (We know a couple that separated over it for a while that's why it worries me). Mine and my husbands relationship is totally solid but apparently it is quite a gruelling process to go through and I don't know what I can do do really prepare myself for what is to come because I don't know what to expect. I hope someone can empathise with this... Xx


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## kimmibobs (Jun 26, 2014)

Oh Steph I promise you are not the only one who feels like this! The emotions of infertility are a huge issue - you've come to the right place, as we all have our worries and share them here. Like you I worry for my relationship throughout the process, and can't stop myself thinking far ahead about potential repercussions. It's scary. Keep talking though, whether it's here or to your partner, and take advantage of any counseling you're offered by your clinic. Thinking of you and everyone else going through this xx


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## Stephkb6713 (Aug 11, 2014)

Thank you kimmibobs 

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels like this. I don't want to be seen as ungrateful for the help the nhs are giving us. I am far from it. I just worry so much. What if my husband leaves me because I can't give him a child? Deep down I know he wouldn't do that but it niggles in your head, you know? Where my husband is Indian/Pakistani (he's half and half lol) it's kind of common place to have MASSIVE families. We always said about having 4 children but now it's a case of accepting that won't happen. There's so much floating about in my head I just feel like it could pop! We've talked about every eventuality, like what if it doesn't work etc so I feel prepared for that, and tbh I feel like I should expect that to avoid disappointment! 

I'm sorry to rant on and on. I really appreciate you replying! Makes me realise I'm not alone. Thank you <3 xx


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