# where shall i go? please help!



## old bird (Aug 8, 2009)

hi there, im 43 and starting out alone cos my bloke is useless.  i live in brighton and so far im considering whether to go to the agora clinic in hove, esperence in eastbourne or the lister in london.  any thoughts on which might be best for an old bird like me?  
im conscious of the fact that i dont have time to shop around, so any advice on this or anything else would be more than welcome! x


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Hi there,

Can't help too much with choice between Hove and Lister as don't know either of those clinics myself, although I think I remember reading on here somewhere that Lister is good for older women.

Have you had any of the basic tests done yet - for hormone levels etc? You can get these done at your GP - you need FSH/LH/progesterone on day 1-4 of your cycle. This will give you an idea whether your levels are OK to go ahead with own egg IVF. Many clinics won't treat you if your FSH is over 10 as this indicates you will not respond well to IVF stimulation. 
The other test some people recommend is AMH which gives an indication of ovarian reserve (quantity not quality though....so lets you know if you've got eggs left, but doesn't tell you if they are any good)

I'm going to be very blunt here - pls don't take this as negativity, just hard learnt realism: it's quite likely at 43 that you may not be successful with your own eggs. There are some positive stories out there (see the over 40's thread for eg), and I wouldn't want to be all doom and gloom, but I believe the odds of success with your own eggs at 43 are in the region of 1-2%....now of course you could be in that 1-2% but then again you could spend a lot of money and time, and put yourself through a lot of emotional stress, and end up with nothing to show for it
We've had one or two successes with own eggs at 40 here on singles board, but not sure about after that. Mostly it's donor eggs at that point....and that can really influence choice of clinic because there are very variable waiting lists for egg donors. Lister is about 2 years. LWC and CRM both quote about 6 months. Overseas you can usually get a donor very quickly in Spain, Czech Rep now has 9-12 month waiting lists at the more popular clinics (eg Reprofit)

You could of course try with your own eggs at Lister or Agora, and then switch clinics, or you may want to consider LWC or CRM now - and get on an egg donor list as a back up plan.

Got to dash now as on babysitting duty for my 3 nieces and nephews at the moment and they don't let me get away with more than about 10 mins on the computer before I have to go and play games with them, but pls PM me if questions....I've had 4 or 5 cycles with own eggs, found out in April that eggs very low quality and am now awaiting first DE cycle at LWC - happy to talk about my experiences if it helps...

Suitcase
x


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## old bird (Aug 8, 2009)

hi there, thank you so much for your brilliant reply.  i know ive left it far too late - the price of waiting for mr right.  but i would hate myself if i didnt even try as ive been desperate for kids for so long.  ive just had my 21 day progesterone, cmv and a couple of other things tested.  results on weds.  im going back to gp tomorrow to try and persuade them to give me FSH and estradiol test.  not sure if this has to be on day 2 or 3?  its all a bit frightening and overwhelming at the moment, and im still trying to get my head round all the jargon, stats, treatment options and of course the expense!  would it lower my chances of conceiving if i sell a kidney to pay for all this??  or perhaps i could go on the game - at least that would offer loads of donor options!
ive only just started on this journey and its already feeling incredibly stressful.
god knows...


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

yes, it's certainly stressful, but ask those on the bumps & babes board if it's worth it and I don't think anyone would say anything other than a resounding YES!

it can seem really daunting when you're starting out, but there are lots of us single women here who've been through it, so do jump on the various threads and ask questions etc - useful ones might be the IVF thread, the donor egg thread (in case it comes to that) and the abroadies thread (in case you decide to go overseas for tx)
and maybe pop on and introduce yourself on the intro thread too!

good luck with the test results, hope they come back with good news....FSH etc can be anywhere from days 1-4 or 5 I think, so either 2 or 3 will be fine

Suitcase
x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Hi- maybe also some of the lesbian girls might be able to advise on clinic choices as some are on the South Coast .  I know one had no reply from Agora and had dealings with Eastbourne.  The Lister has a good reputation and for older ladies but if you need DE's I rang and was told there waiting list was years. LWC quoted me 1 yr (but I wasn't a pt of their before) I joined CRM who quote 6 months, I have also cycled abroad before.  I don't need sperm as I have a known donor.

Best of luck with your journey

L x


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## old bird (Aug 8, 2009)

thats brilliant, thanks to you both, i'll check out your suggestions.
i seem to swing from being incredibly optimistic to being really disheartened and then back again, but i guess thats par for the course.
thank you both for your support
xx


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