# Settling letter for a baby / timing of letterbox



## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

Hi all,

Any advise as to what to write or some examples?  Want it to be right!

Also, what's people's feelings on timings for letters to birth parents?  We suggested September, as end of holidays start of a school year to talk about stuff, but not sure..... And strong opinions?

Thanks, FMN xx


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

We didn't do a settling in letter so not sure on that front.
As for timings on letters we do two a year and decided a month before his birthday and a month before Xmas so if we get replies they will arrive around bday and Xmas but not expecting replies to be honest. Our sw just suggested these months for us as she said wouldn't want yo do his bday month or Xmas as we'll be busy ourselves then which was a fair point. September seems a good idea, as you say just after holidays etc and start of school so lots to put into the letter.


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

Ours is October, we suggested September for the same reason as you, but SW said it may be a busy month once he starts school and if we did October we could include a bit of school news too.


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## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

Difficult isn't it.  We went for end of sept as they send oct and if they write back be nov... Hopefully enough time before Xmas.  Little boys birthday is jan so clear of that.

Hard to know what's for the best for the future as it won't matter now!!

Have started his letter but it just sounds rubbish!!!


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## Lorella (Jan 10, 2013)

We do 2 a yr and also opted for end Sept and then end of March. Wanted to avoid Xmas and birthday time. I just have visions of LO waiting for replies when she's older and didn't want this to take anything away from her birthday and Xmas experiences x


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Our settling in letter was short & sweet
Put that blossom had settled well, happy, chatty baby. Enjoying new foods favourites are ...
Any first eg blossom had started rolling every where & had even said her first word. 
We put what she enjoyed doing eg we take her swimming regularly. 

We just kept it short partly due to SW suggestion and there wasn't a great deal to tell other than foods & how happy & well she was settling. Also put that her first 2 teeth had cut. 

Good luck x


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## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

Did you refer to your child by name, or little one, little boy etc?


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

We used her name (first name only) I think this is the done thing although if the first name has been changed I'm not sure how that would work?? We timed it as advised by SW and do it once yearly in the same month to BM, bf & siblings. We did have some issues this year when we had to do our first proper letterbox but this was only due to us not being on the system lol (although at the time I was furious!) we avoided meaningful months eg blossoms bday, coming home month etc.


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## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

We do 2 x a year too - March and September...
We did a basic settling in letter as follows (we did forenames only however we have slightly changed hers but referred to her as bm knows her throughout and will do for the foreseeable/forever)

Dear x,

We hope you are well and that this letter can provide you with some comfort in knowing that x is happy.

X has been with us a few weeks now and is happily settled. She is enjoying her new surroundings and getting to know us, she is so bright and intelligent and it hasn't taken her long to discover the easiest way to climb and explore to her best advantage. She is such a little character.

We have been attending some children's classes and x has been playing with the other children lovely, she likes to be the centre of attention and makes everyone laugh with her antics.

X has cut 3 new teeth, which has caused some sleepless nights, but she is back to sleeping right through and still enjoys napping during the day. She is enjoying learning new foods, her current favourite is fish pie and she is quite fond of olives too.

X has learnt lots of new words and can now say "shoes" "all gone" and "finished" - she has recently started putting her plate upside down on her head and declaring "finished" when she has emptied it or had enough.

She is still very much in love with Frozen, and will bring us the remote and ask for "Let it Go", she loves to play with her building bricks and has been pushing her dolls in their pushchair outside while the weather has been nice.

X loves being out in her pushchair, she chatters away to everyone while we are walking and gets very excited when she sees a dog (a woo woo). She has developed a close friendship with the family dog and likes to share her food with her, she also likes to kiss her and will cuddle her while saying "aww"  they follow each other round the house and x has been trying to get in the dog bed for cuddles on occasions. 

Please be assured x is loved very much by lots of people, she is  treasured very dearly, we will never let her forget you.

Take care of yourself


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

Our little pink was placed last October at 9 months and we do update every July (we had no input in month it is to be done). Just done our first one and kept it very factual - the examples we were sent by our so sounded far too personal and I didn't want to rub it in with birth family how much we are enjoying and love little pink, if that makes sense. I started it with something like "hello and welcome to our first update" and then talked about pink's health, teeth, walking, talking, likes, food, personality and things like that.  We've changed her first name but refer to her by her birth name.  I found it very hard to do - I've struggled with feeling guilty about how amazing little pink is and that we get to enjoy that and birth family don't and had started to feel less so when it was time to do the update and doing it brought the feelings of guilt back.  Good luck 😊


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

We too do two a year - April and October. I tried to steer away from any emotionally charged times of year (birthdays etc) and stressful times,  as a result avoided September as it return to work time for me (always equals stress) and I thought of when he is older, changing classes/going back to school can also be a stressful time. As it happens, since the agreement was set up April has beome quite an emotionally charged month with AO being granted and DH mum passing away. Best laid plans and all that!!!! 

Have to admit though, the first year I really stressed about getting it done at the right time. Now my attitude has totally changed. I do it when it suits MY family and if that means its a few weeks late because we have been out and about more due to the nice weather then so be it.


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

I don't know if this will help, but I keep a little log of things ds has done in the year since the last letter. Just makes it easier when thinking what to write about as I just look at the list.

Xx


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