# More egg share questions!



## MRSGINGE (Jan 8, 2011)

Our NHS consultant is currently going to the board to plead for funding for our first attempt at IVF, but with a year waiting list we are thinking of self funding in the meantime and I'm seriously considering trying to help anothr couple out by donating my eggs.

My concern is that I am mixed race (black caribbean/white british)... well, that dosn't concern me, but a lack of recipients does.  I'm worried that the waiting lists for donors will be full of white couples and we will be waiting longer than the year for the NHS waiting list!

Has anybody donated or received mixed race eggs?  Do you know if the time scales/ waits for matches took longer than those of white ladies?  I hate talking about race and ethnicity so much, but this is a genuine concern and I'm not sure who else to ask about it!!

Thanks in advance for any help.


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## Just a girl (Mar 6, 2008)

Hi Mrs Ginge,
Just wanted to wish you good luck if you do decide to egg share.  I did it when I had tx for my son and I don't regret it for a second.  
I don't have the answer to your question but surely there must be mixed race couples on waiting lists who are are just desperate for a donor to come along? It could be worth ringing a few clinics and asking if they have anyone on their list that fits your ethnicity and that way you'll know from the beginning.  Lots of luck with it all x


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## Fp (Oct 5, 2010)

Hi mrsginge,
Firstly i would like to wish you luck for your journey  
Can i ask what clinic your at? I'm with jessops in sheffield and they freeze doner eggs so it might be worth looking around to find the best clinic to suit you.  
I'm glad i've come across your question because i have a question too but been too afraid to ask the hospital   i'm white british but my partner is black caribbean and i am a bit worried about who will be sharing my eggs. I know i'm donating so it wont be my child but i dont want any egg that has come from me being brought up as racist in anyway!! And it may cause problems if they decide to look for me in the future.
I know it's nothing like your situation but this is the only post i have seen on people's race.  
Hope you don't think i'm too   
Xxx


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## MRSGINGE (Jan 8, 2011)

Thanks for the replies.
Francesca, I'm just at the point of choosing which clinic to go with privately, but my NHS consultant comes under Liverpool Womens Hospital and he also does private patients through the same hospital.  The private clinic is called Northwest Fertility.  There is soooooooo much to think about isn't there?  I'd never heard of the frozen egg donor thing before.  Thank you for making me aware.
As for the racism thing, I understand your fears but I suppose there is some point in the process where you have to come to terms with the fact that as a donor you have no say or choice who the eggs go to.  I would expect that your pre- donation counselling will help you work through any potential worries but you will never be able to say/chose/ know who your eggs go to.  I'd imagine everyone has such fears though.  Maybe not about race but about sexuality of recipients, age of recipients etc.  It does feel awkward to talk about it though because I don't see myself any different because I'm mixed race until things like this force it to the front of my mind.

Just a girl- I'll be on the phone tomorrow taking your advice and asking what the wait would be to match me with a recipient wanting my little chocolate eggs!  Thank you very much.

This all feels very real all of a sudden! 
I'm scared and excited and nervous and happy and upset!!!

How did you both cope when you got the news and started making plans for treatment?
Good luck to you both and anybody reading this post. X


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## Fp (Oct 5, 2010)

Hi mrsginge,
Your completely right about me not having a choice or say in the recipient. I'm a bit too far into the process to worry to much about it now. I've started injections today so it's all go now and no backing out, lol.
It was really hard when i found out about my infertility, i stuck my head in the sand and ignored it for ages and i still haven't told any of my friends, only told my mum and sister still but the egg sharing, it didn't take long for me to decide i wanted to help someone else in a worse position than me.
Can i ask why you are infertile? With me it was due to chlamydia and there is such shame involved in that which makes it more difficult to accept, i think if it wasn't my fault then i might have told friends etc.

I hope you find the best way forward for you really soon.


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## ruby maria (Oct 10, 2005)

MrsGringe,

Hi, Im on a waiting list to receive eggs and I have been phoning around other clinics asking about certain things such as success rates, prices, and waiting time and I think some had seperate lists , it may be worth going onto the national gamete website as it lists all the clinics and contact numbers and the people were all helpful.

Ruby


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## ruby maria (Oct 10, 2005)

Francesca25 


I have discussed the race issue briefly with my hospital counselling service Im white british and my partner is of ethnic background, and I need donated eggs, the eggs will be of a white donor to match with myself, but I do think about the implications as  any potential child will be of mixed ethnicity and may one day may wish to contact the biological mother who could be a very nice lady or some one with racist views.



Ruby


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## Fp (Oct 5, 2010)

Hi ruby,
It's good to hear of someone on the other side of it so to speak.
What did your councellor say? I really hope they take these things into concideration when matching a doner and recipient. What hospital are you at? If you don't mind me asking.  
Xxx


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## ruby maria (Oct 10, 2005)

I dont think a lot of people discuss it in general because it didnt appear to be a topic she had been asked .
People cannot specify who their eggs go to on an egg share and personality/ religion/ political views etc are not questions that are on any of the forms.
I believe that the womens charatristics are matched closely for egg donation for example
Eggs from white woman , brown hair , 5,5'' height, blue eyes, 9 stone
may go to white woman . brown hair, 5,6 height blus eyes 8 and half stone.
eggs from a mixed race donor, would be matched similary.
Im at Nurture at Nottingham, its a great clinic.
You could advertise for your own donor , its something im thinking about.

Ruby


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## MRSGINGE (Jan 8, 2011)

Francessca-  My infertility is caused by the same thing.  An ex fooled around and now here I am, 3 mc's and an ectopic down the line being told I have less than 5% chance of natural conception.  I'm still very bitter about certain aspects of all of this, but I know I wouldhope to god someone would help me out if I couldn't use my own eggs and I can't imagine how it would feel to go through the heartbreak of trying unsuccessfully and then not being able to find a donor for IVF.  I just hope I can help another couple. 

Congrats on starting your treatment.  I can't wait to be started.  I'm so excited at the moment.  I feel like I did before the mc's/ectopic.  I've got it in my head that this will work and next year I will give birth to our baby!


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