# No Funding - Financial Strain



## Julie37 (Feb 16, 2012)

I live in an area where there is currently no funding for IVF.  We have spent £3000 on our first cycle (which was going to be ICSI) but had to be abandoned due to my body not reacting to the drugs.  We are off to Spain next week for our first DE cycle.  This is going to cost over £8000 + of course the cost of going and being there for a week as advised.  I can only assume that these costs are average compared to what others are paying/have paid.  

Anyway the reason for this post is to find out how normal people with regular incomes and without an enormous amount of savings, cope with this financial pressure.  As everyone knows we need to keep our stress levels down to increase the chances of the treatment working.  This is soooo hard at the best of times as I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster of emotions already...without evening thinking about the financial side.  We are very lucky in the fact that family members are helping us out by contributing to this cycle but we still have to find the rest.  If this cycle doesn't work (which I'm fairly sure will be the case) then I will feel so bad towards the family that the money has been 'wasted'.  My partner says it's not our fault but I just feel like a failure no matter what he says.  

How much money do you decide you are going to borrow & where do we place the cut off point?  Having a child is one of the most important things in life to me and I can't contemplate not becoming a mum.  My partner says he doesn't care about how much money we end up borrowing because this is all that matters but I'm too much of a sensible person to bury my head in the sand about it.  I know that the more we borrow the more stressed I will become and that's the one thing we're told not to be!  It's a vicious circle.  

Apologies if this has turned into a bit of a rant!  I'm sure I'm not the only person in this boat...?

Julie x


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi Julie,

I am with you on this and do wonder how people cope financially. Firstly we are very lucky that our first IVF worked, but we had already decided before treatment started that we would give it 3 goes and then move on to adoption.  1 NHS funded, 1 funded by my parents and then 1 cycle funded by ourselves.  

It so hard, but I suppose it depends on your circumstances and the type of person that you are.  Some people will re-mortgage their house, have credit cards maxed out and loans to.  My friend has had 6 failed IVF's, but her and her DH have very good job's and have just paid for treatment as they went along.  She has decided to stop now and remain childless, because although financially they can go on, emotionally she can't.  I think personally only you can decide when you stop, but it will be different for everyone.

We are only having this cycle because my Dad has offered to pay for it and am already worrying about it failing and my Dad basically just chucking £6000 down the drain.  

On another note I noticed you are going to Spain for a DE cycle.  I have heard a lot about a clinic in Cyprus called Dogus which does tandem cycles with your own eggs and donor eggs at the same time.  They are quite reasonable to and have really good success rates.  I think there is a link on the bottom of this page or there is a link under Cyprus babies on babycentre.

Good luck on your journey and I hope you get that much wanted BFP.

Stacey
x


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

Massive    I know exactly how you feel - having spent what seems like 10's of £1000's I've had to take a break. It's hard to get the balance of what we spend emotionally and financially.

Have a look through the boards - there are plenty of members that are in similar situations and can offer advice.   

*IVF Boards ~ *CLICK HERE

*Fertility Investigations ~ *CLICK HERE

And there's also this website which holds a lot of info ref funding etc: http://www.infertilitynetworkuk.com

Have a look round the site and if you get a little stuck with the navigation side of things - please shout!

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. CLICK HERE

We also have a chat room - which is a fabulous place to 'meet' and chat with others. Our newbie chat is every Wednesday. A great chance to meet other new members and find out a little more about how the site works.

*Newbie chat ~ *CLICK HERE

All the best - our paths may cross again in other areas of the site.
Good luck,

  

Tis xx


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## Julie37 (Feb 16, 2012)

Hi Stacey and Thetis

Thank you both for your thoughts on the matter, I know that there is no real answer but it's nice to know how you made your own decisions.  I guess we will have to talk it through again after we know the result of this next cycle.

Thank you for the useful links and things too - I will look into them 

Julie x


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## Jardin (Jan 18, 2012)

Hello Julie-with-a-toyboy!
I had one free cycle with the NHS, paid for two and am now paying for a 4th. This is ICSI and is costing me just over 5 grand a time (own sperm - SSR - and eggs). I earn quite a good salary but DH does not (he's been laid off so many times of late I get confused trying to remember where he's temping!). So I personally have financed all treatment, except for 2 grand from my Dad (£1,000 last cycle, £1,000 this). I have never asked my dad for money, he has chosen to give it because he wants me to be happy and he'd love another grandchild and he can afford it. I suspect your relatives are exactly the same: unless they're a bit silly they will know that nothing is guaranteed but they want to help you because they love you. They wd hate to think you feel bad about their generosity, so don't !!
I save £330 a month - goes straight from my salary to an ISA. I also took a mortgage holiday this month to make up the final shortfall. I can save that money by being pretty frugal and organised with day to day money (OK, I'm a control freak!) Anything from making careful shopping lists to shopping for clothes second hand can help. Anyway, I hope there is something practical here you can use! My advice wd be to be patient, set realistic time-frames and focus on one cycle at a time.
Best of luck to you. Make the most of being abroad!


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## Julie37 (Feb 16, 2012)

Thanks Jardin that was all really helpful.  Wishing you all the very best for your next cycle.  I'm literally about to run out the door to the airport now! xx


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## Sarah1712 (Mar 6, 2011)

Hi couldnt just read and run. We are self funding as cant have nhs tx yet due to weight but have you comsidered having a tx at somewhere like ARGC, they are so thorough and perform miracles. Amh isnt an interest of theirs, they go on fsh which has to be under 10 i believe. Our tx cost £13,500 and we put it all on credit cards but were clever and got 0% ones for a year and will just keep transferring balances. Its risky but was the only way we could have tx at a top clinic. They look at immunes etc etc but i wouldnt have gone anywhere else. Our ethos was lets go for the best clinic first and so we wouldnt have to keep spending and spending. It didnt work for us first time as i refused humira tx and was overweight so we are now saving so maybe in a year we can cycle again but i also have weight to lose so hoping that will help. If ARGC isnt one to consider, the Lister is supposed to be a specialist in low amh. These clinica are both in London. We live 3 hours away so for us it was an intense process, we commuted daily by train and were on the train by 5am but i wouldnt have wanted it any other way, we had one focus and we stayed on track. Staying in central london is mega expensive hence why we commuted. Another lady cycled there too also commuting by train and she is pregnant. I would say in your desperation for children perhaps consider if its worth ploughing more into a highly successful clinic thats right for you. But i wish you lots of luck with your cycle and fingers crossed for a bfp so you dont need to think about an alternative.

Good luck
Sarah x


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## adele louise (Mar 16, 2012)

hi all, i have just been reading how much the treatment costs!! i had no idea. we have been lucky to get 3 tries on nhs. we have had 2, 1 icsi but both times, our eggs have not fertilized. we are now waiting for our 3rd. i havent looked in to going abroad! is this the best option, is it because its cheaper? i think we could stretch to 1 go without too much pressure, but it scares me to have to make a decision to stop. i'm praying we wouldn't have to go down that road!
we have decided to go to an adoption meeting at the end of the month. it is very informal to start with, but i think thats a long process too.
hugs
adele x


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## Julie37 (Feb 16, 2012)

Hi girls, thanks for yr replies

Sarah - We hadn't considered the London clinics as yet but it doesn't mean we won't in the future if need be - thank u for the helpful info.

Adele - Its not necessarily cheaper to go abroad but because we have been advised to use donor eggs there is no wait for it in Spain. Plenty of young Spanish ladies are willing to donate their eggs (many are trying to pay for their university fees). If we had waited for a donor in the UK then it would have been an expected min 15 month wait and I really couldn't handle that. We also would have had to pay £600 per yr just to be on the waiting list (which I think is a bit of a cheek to be honest). The only advantage of waiting on the UK list would have been that the donor's records are kept so that if the child wished to trace them when they are 18 then they could do. In Spain though these records are destroyed so the donor can never be traced.

Anyway I'm waffling now! 

Wishing you both all the best - Julie x


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## Sarah1712 (Mar 6, 2011)

Julie, you have a low amh but it isnt zero so how come you are going down the donor route? I know of someone who was at our clinic (ARGC) and she had a very low reserve but was successful in her tx and has twins and they are biologically hers. Just thought i'd tell you just in case.

Also regarding the waiting etc, i learnt the hard way that actually be patient harbours good results and i really wish i had lost the weight and stopped smoking a lot earlier than i did but i was desperate to cycle and now we are £13,500 worse off and at square one pretty much except we have learnt soooooo much. 

Lots of luck xx


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## adele louise (Mar 16, 2012)

oh thanks julie.
i have been told (up to now) that my eggs are ok, so i dont think we would have to go down that road as yet

best of luck to you

i have seen a lot of you ladies are talking about ARGC. i have looked on their website, would you recommend them, where do you stay when you go there?
i'm assuming you have the scan/blood test every other day in the week leading up to retrieval? so how do you manage going down to london?

adele x


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## Susieque44 (Jun 14, 2011)

Hi

I wish you lots of luck, I have self funded all of my 6 treatments over a period of 12 years, very expensive with the last one costing around £7,000. Its so hard to find the money and/ or pay it back..... but here's hoping that the money won't matter when your successful xxxx Wishing you lots of luck xxx


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## JessLange (Mar 14, 2011)

Hey you all. when you add up my treatment and lost income I recon I have lost around £45-75k in getting my baby and then my other current pregnancy. Worth every penny. Had to sell my house to pay for more treatment. Desperate. Did them in London Lister and Dorchester Poundbury. To add insult to injury both mine turned out to be 'miracle' babies that happened after the ICSI treatments!
I became desperate about money and researched different DE and DS possibilities as both me and DH are duffers in that department. I found Serum in Athens to be the very best value for money. They GUARANTEE you 3 Blastocysts, were around £3000 for a full treatment and can begin immediately. The initial consultation is with a lady called Penny who is brilliant and after that it is one trip, where you can store sperm if you weant to, followed by a stay over there. That was our next port of call but I got preggers just before we began. I would recommend having a look at their website as it is v comprehensive and set up for English treatments. If you are worried about Greeces economy then simply don't hand over the money until you are there for your treatment and pay as you go.
Tough call in any case. In my story, there was a happy ending, but to pay all that money and not get there, oh, must be just terrible and I don't know how I would have been able to go on, knowing that I had spent all that money for nothing. That is the real risk, but what more is money for other than chasing our dreams?
Best of luck with you all and your dreams. Took us years and tears and lost hope and desperate times. My thoughts are with you wonderful brave ladies. 
Jess x


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## Julie37 (Feb 16, 2012)

Sarah - in answer to yr question about why we have gone down the DH route now... our consultant said there would b a less than 5% chance of it working with my own eggs. We have already spent £3000 on an abandoned cycle so to me the odds were far too low. I don't think I could handle doing all that again to only find I'd be where I am now in a few months/years time, more in debt and gone through all that extra pain. Others may have played the longer game but I thought let's just cut to the chase I guess x


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## Emily1971 (Nov 4, 2011)

Hi Julie37,
The financial burden is a terrible one.  As im 40 i have to pay and wouldnt get any funding anyway.  Have been saving up for my egg donar IVF treatment in London.  I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about money and keep checking my on-line banking - like lots of money is going to sponteanously appear !!  Its just another worry on top of the worry of the treatment etc.  

Good luck with your journey x

Emily


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## Julie37 (Feb 16, 2012)

Thanks Emily, I know exactly what you mean, I've had my share of sleepless nights worrying about it all and I'm sure they'll be more to come.  I get so angry that most of the population can just get pregnant without experiencing any of the stuff us ladies have to go through. Assuming we are all successful at some point we are going to be paying off the debt for goodness knows how long and this will impact on the life we can give our much wanted children - it makes me so mad. I know I shouldn't focus on it cos it's negative but it's so hard sometimes and I kind of want the world to know how unfair it is!  Wishing u all the very best in yr journey - hope it's a short one! Xx


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## Emily1971 (Nov 4, 2011)

Julie37

Yeah some people just fall pregnant at the drop of a hat, i just naturally assumed i would be one of them really, it never crossed my mind that i had a problem - i naturally assumed it was my partner !!  We're be buying baby clothes from the charity shop at this rate !!  Lets just hope the treatment works i cant even contemplating it not being successful and basically throwing all that money down the drain.  I dont really know how i would cope with that to be honest.

Emily


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