# A lighthearted poem



## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Hi everyone. 

Ever been frustrated when well meaning friends and family say "Have you tried....?"    

One day I was out for lunch with my great friend   who went through IVF at the same time as me. We were discussing how annoying it was for people to come up with wondrous treatments they had read about. We of course had "been there and got the t shirt."    We realised we could run through the alphabet with every bit of advice and treatment we had given a go!   We ended up in the loo calling out diagnoses and treatments to each other over the cubicle walls and laughing our socks off. Guess we were a little manic on the hormones!   

I wrote about this to a FF. The list of advice, diagnoses and treatment came out came out almost as a poem and she said it really made her laugh   and that I should post it, so here goes.

Love to all

jq

The TTC Alphabet of Advice, Diagnoses and Treatment
(None of it worked, but some of it was fun! 

Acupuncture, Acupressure,
Abstinence and Aspirin.
Books about breeding - lots of reading!

Clomid, Crystals, Celtic symbols.  
Dire straights Diagnosis.
Endometriosis. 

Foresight, Faith, Fibroids,
Fingers crossed to be a mum! 

God, Goddess, Gynaecology.  
Hormones, Hope, Heparin,  
Herbs and Homeopathy. 

IVF and Incense,
Just-one-more-go,
Kinaesiology.
Legs in air, pillow under bum! 

Massage, Myomectomy,
Miracles and Minerals. 

Normal sex and Nonsense
Oestrogen and Obsession. 
Progesterone and Passion.

Quacks, “Relax!”

Reiki, Reflexology and the Rest.
Spells, Soya, Shiatsu.
Temperature charts, a Thousand Tests.
            
Undies - 
          (loose boxers to cool the jewels,  
          new pair of “clinic panties.”)

Vitamins and Visualisation.  
Willies and Wishes,
X-rated sex, 
Yoga and yogurt, 
Zzzz - plenty of it!


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Hey JQ

Fantastic!! Clever! Brilliant!!

Thankyou for sharing this wonderful poem!!!

lots of love astridxx


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## jomac (Oct 27, 2006)

Hello jq what a great poem, says it all!!
When I tried IVF the first time I had acupuncture. Every week I used to dread going to the clinic. I don't know about anyone else but I found it PAINFUL. Anyway that IVF I had a poor response - I'm sure it was the acupuncture and I've never gone near another acupuncture needle again!
It is funny the things you do to get pregnant.
I've put aside my logical scientific brain on a number of occassions.!!
Take care gals.
It's Sat night and I'm enjoying a glass wine and trying not to think of my period cramps. 
It's funny but every month I can easily convince myself I'm pregnant - and then like clockwork my period arrives.

lots love Emma


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## Hippy (Aug 2, 2005)

Jq - GENIUS!!!!!!!

LOVED THE POEM   had me  out loud, thank you for sharing it!

Love and big hug

Hippy
xxxxxxx


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

JQ! That was so funny!  

Thank you for sharing it, I am roaring with laughter after reading it!

I think you have a hidden talent there....!

Lots of love
Emcee xxx


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Dear JQ
Like Emma i can go through the Alphabet in your poem and say honestly that i have done most of the things on the list...
This is my list:

A - Acupuncture/Anger/Age reminded of
E - Egg time
L-  Legs in the Air
P- Pee on a Stick
R - Reflexology
S - Sex to order/Shaving my muff into a love heart just for a laugh whilst having egg collection/ Skint!!
T- Tears/tantrums
I - IVF/ICSI/IUI
M- For getting my Muff out to all the sundry. To all the consultants i work with!! 
T- Watching TV whilst having sex because i am bored of it.
C- Cramps and a vivid imagination
F- Failure
N- Nice sandwiches in the hospital (I miss that) The only thing good thing provided for 4 grand. 
P- for getting pie eyed after sick of sticking to the rules
F- Family Lack of Support/Friends fantastic
O- Organic foods...now skint
W- working my backside off to pay for tx
P- pregnancy everyone elses/phone calls

Thats my list!!!! Any ideas on your list?

love astridx


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## jomac (Oct 27, 2006)

Hello again,
I loved your list too Astrid
Ditto the feeling of exposing yourself to people you work with!
It's almost 8 am on a Sunday morning here. It's meant to be Summer but weather not that great.
I'm going to go for a run this am.
Did anyone else find fertility treatment stuffed up their bodies?
I round that with all the hormones I just couldn't exercise the same.
Cake care, lots love Emma


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Good one jq- what about bananas ? Was anyone told about that? I tried those !!!  Eating them i mean!!! 

Oh and Astrid- you got sandwiches in the hospital!!!! ? We were lucky we got iui!!!!


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## Bangle21 (Dec 17, 2004)

FANTASTIC!!!

If only we could print these off and distribute them to every "busy-body-know-it-all" who insists we should all keep trying IVF (regardless of the emotional turmoil, the financial burden, the pain, the fear, the high chance of failure once again etc etc etc - THAT doesn't matter!!!! .. Grrrrr) because their friend's, cousin's, uncle's, niece's neighbour did IVF 10 times and it worked and you MIGHT JUST find if you relax - it will happen!!

GOD!!!!  Get me out of here!!!!

Love gill xo


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## try2long (Nov 25, 2006)

Oh my Gosh Jq!!!!!

That is brilliant!!! I've covered all of them. 


Art from heartache!

Thank you, 
Try-


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Hey Irisheyes
I like your reply to my sandwiches....ha ha...Umm they were nice and memorable and flipping expensive. The only good thing Paul and i looked forward too...
Ax


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