# NEW, low BMI and HUGE needle-phobic!



## Slinger (Dec 12, 2008)

First thing say is, I am a complete nightmare with all this funny computer process/message lingo business!  IVF will be a breeze compared to posting a message here!    

Anyway, hello to whoever is out there.  I've never done anything like this before and am generally a bit sceptical of the whole 'support group'/'therapy' type thing, but this is something where I really just need some advice and help!  I just read a message posted by another newby, all about her feelings about other's pregnancies, children, etc.  It's so refreshing to hear my feelings echoed by others.  Just wanting to bawl when others announce their happy news, resenting smug mothers, celebrity older mums, pregnant men (after the documentary last night! what's that about?!), questionning everything (the whole 'why me?' thing), dreading Christmas, feeling so sad all the time.  Totally how I feel.

My DH (hey, I'm getting the hang of it!) started TTC last November when we got married.  I was 34, him 32.  Got the BFP relatively quick (we now realise!) after 2 months.  SOOO excited, I was following the growth of the baby, was happy beyong belief.  Then, suddenly, about 10 wks in my pregnancy symptoms (nausea, sore boobs) just went.  Over the course of the next week, I just whipped myself into a frenzy, I knew in my heart of hearts what had happened,  We both knew. We ended up paying for a private scan, only a few days before what would have been my 12 wk scan.  The inevitable news was broken.  The tiny, silent body on the screen, 'heartbeat absent' and the "I'm sorry".  Singularly the most heartbreaking moment of my life.  We will never, ever forget 'The Friend'.  Upset myself again just talking about it!   

Anyway, to cut a long story short, the horror of the ERPC, bleeding for ages etc followed, as well as tests at the doctors, cycle tracking etc which revealed low progesterone and a bad LPD.  Got referred to Mr Watts at Worcs Royal and had 5 months of follicle tracking and Pregnyl injections as he was hopeful that I would conceive again.  No such luck.   

We asked for tests for my DH (which he had done at the Priory Hospital, Birmingham) and had our results at an appt with Mr W last week.  DH apparently has severe antibodies in his sperm (blame front row rugby playing!), which effectively cancel out his OK sperm count and motility and this, combined with my issues, mean that IVF or ISCI is really our only chance of conceiving, also given my age (nearly 36).  

Mr W has been brilliant and I am so glad of and grateful for the opportunity, but there are 2 big potential problems 1)  My BMI is on the verge of being too low for NHS treatment, which could stop the whole thing and 2)  I am an MASSIVE needle-phobe!  As Mr Watts was explaining what the IVF/ISCI treatment would involve I was getting hotter and hotter and more and more nauseous as the amount/regularity of injections became clear and the fact that I or DH will have to do these ourselves.  I don't know if I can do it!  I am absolutey terrified of injections and it was bad enough with the Pregnyl!

So my questions are...

1)  How do I put on weight?  (Am naturally very thin, eat LOADS, blame my parents... And don't say I'm lucky!!)
2)  How am I going to get past the injections thing?!!  I am scared stiff and need some reassurance about the reality of what is to come.

I would also love to be directed towards contacting soome people who live in my area or who have had IVF/ISCI at The Priory, Birmingham.

Help!

Sam x


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## fozi (Sep 18, 2008)

Hiya Sam!
       
Welcome to FF, this is such a great place to share experiences and generally have a rant and rave! (i do!)  
so sorry to hear about your miscarraige, cant imagine the pain you must have gone through. made me tearful reading that part of your post.
i am in the same position as you re; low BMI. although we havet been refused treatemnt, (we are paying privatel) i know that i need to put on weight. the dr.'s dont even want to risk putting 2 embies in me just incase  end up with twins! 
i think i will scream then next time someone tells me how lucky i am to be slim, drives me nuts!!!    all i can say is what has been recommended to me and that is have a high protein diet (lamb, chicken, oily fish) eat something after evry 2-3 hours......and i am aslo taking a milk protein shake, will give you the name if you like?
hope this helps a bit. i dont think people realise how hard it is for us to put on weight.....simply eating burgers is not going to work for us (but will prb give us very high cholestrol!!    )
i too also had a phobia of injections. having had to take them on my 1st ivf treatment was just a nightmare for me. sounds pathetic but i actually passed out the first time.  BUT, form then on i just gritt my teeth and thought of the whole reason i am putting myself through this. i got my husband to hold a chunk of my thigh (cant do it myself and inject at the same time!)  and i had control of the needle.  you could let your dh do the injecting if you like.  i then just jabbed it in until it broke throught the skin and then slowly pushed down on the thingy so the liquid went in.  i found that the longer i took to do the jabbing, the worse i felt !  

hope all this helps a bit, sorry to have rambled on.
keep me updated on your progress and feel free to ask any more questions
take care
Fozi


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## pabboo (Sep 29, 2007)

Hi Sam

Good to meet you. I hope you find the forum useful - I certainly have!

You can get treatment for the needle phobia - it is really quite straightforward and usually very successful, reasonably quickly depending on the individual. It would normally involve you being gradually "exposed" to needles (e.g. first by talking about them until you feel very little anxiety, then looking at pictures, then at the real thing etc etc) building up to each step once you feel comfortable with the step you are on. It is called exposure. It is sometimes paired with thought challenging work - in which case it is usually known as CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) - although that is a little bit of a simplification. 
Here is a site that talks more about it: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/phobia_symptoms_types_treatment.htm

Your GP may be able to refer you to someone or you can find someone privately - a therapist or psychologist. If you do go privately whoever you see should be BACP registered, or BPS registered if they are a psychologist. The BACP has a search facility where you can find therapists who specialise in phobias.

If you need help putting on weight, your GP may be able to refer you to a dietician who can advise on food and nutrition for weight gain.

Hope that helps.

Good luck with everything.

Hugs
Boo x

/links


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## Slinger (Dec 12, 2008)

Thanx so much for you replies, it's so great that there's a place like this where you can 'talk' with people who actually understand what you are experiencing and therefore give you the sort of advice you really value.

Fozi - thanks for the advice and so nice to meet someone else with the low weight 'problem'!  I bet you also feel like launching yourself at complete strangers when they feel the need to comment on it too.  Anyway, I really appreciate the advice.  I have started taking some basic whey protein shake (quite yummy actually - like a milkshake), just one without any funny vitamins etc, as recommended by DH who used to use them himself when 'beef-caking'.  Only prob is, just to complicate things, I'm vegetarian, so know I lose out on protein anyway, am trying to step up on the beans, pulses scenario (could be dangerous with todays' concerns re: global warming.  If you hear about problems with the atmosphere over Worcester on the news, you know who to blame!). 

Boo and Fozi - thanks for the advice re: needle 'issues'.  I did think about going to see the GP about both the weight and the needle issue.  I figure that if it's connected to some form of treatment I have been referred for, that they are more likely to assist.  Finger's crossed!  Bizarrely, it's more injections than just needles.  After the MC I did manage to have acupuncture for a while to attempt to get my cycle back to normal.  Maybe it helped, not sure.  Problem was, I did used to work myself up into a sweaty bundles of nerves, stiff as a board with terror before they went in, which probably defeated the object and cancelled out any benefits they later provided!  

Thanks again.  It really means alot!

xx


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Slinger, welcome to Fertility Friends. 

Yes I bet the old "You're lucky" thing with the BMI really irritates! It s frustrating but there may be some leeway in the BMI - or you may be able to plead your case - if you are otherwise healthy, eat healthy and are just naturally tall / thin. Other than that, maybe increase your carbs and protiens. Perhaps try protien drinks or high the kind of drinks often given to imnvalids to rebuild body mass after illness. My borther used to drink some stuff called Dunns River nourishment which was for this. I think you can get it in Boots or Tescos or somewhere like that!
As for the needles.... oh that's a hard one. It may be possible you can arrange to have your injections done by a nurse at your local practice / hospital and, I imagine if it's really a concern then your consultant might be able to advise on this. People with needle phobias do go through IVF with help and support so if you speak about your concerns, and you have a sympathetic cons, then you may find some support there.

Here are some links you might find helpful at the moment. Please do have a look around and explore and start posting around the boards and making friends. FF is a wonderfully supportive community and you can only get the best out of it if you start posting and joining in so, please do so.

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*A Rough Guide To IVF ~*   CLICK HERE

There is a Priory chat thread which you may find helpful to join. Just dive right on in,m say hi and ask any questions you want there:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=164014.105

You can have a bit of fun or just gossip while you are on FF too so check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area:

*Girl & Boy talk - Community & Fun Board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie night in the chat room every week (*Wednesday at 8pm*), where you can meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

Wishing you lots of luck! 

C~x


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