# Two years of trying and still no luck :(



## Tripitaka (Aug 3, 2007)

Hi y'all,

I was told about this site by a friend and, after a quick look around, figured it would be great to register and chat with people experiencing similar troubles - nobody else can truly understand the physical and emotional strain of it all  

So, about me. Well, I'm 32 and originally from the North East of England, tho I now live in USA with my hubby.  I'm a scientific writer/technology translator but would dearly like to just be Mum and maybe open a cake shop  

My husband and I have been trying for almost two years with no luck.  Good news is we both have checked out fine at the docs, but it doesn't help us figure out why nothing is happening.  We're SO ready for children and being parents that we decided this is our last month of 'waiting and seeing' before we intervene and get some medical assistance.  

I'd love to chat with anyone else in a similar position, before I go quite crazy with it all 
T xx


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## LizzyM (Feb 12, 2007)

Hi ya I am so sorry to read of your troubles ttc!!

I to have been ttc naturally for 18 months and my partner and i were both told we were fine! The tears and the frustrations every month are hard i know!! 

But there is hope hun, yesterday i got my first ever BFP, i cant belive it but it can happen!! Have you got your husband on any vitamins or anything like that? What about yourself?

Have you been to your GP and asked them to refer you both, as this may take a while, whilst waiting you can carry on ttc naturally!!

I hope i have given you some hope huni,

Love Liz x x x


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## A-D (Feb 8, 2006)

Hi there
We were in a similar situation to you so I do know how you are feeling. I would, however, suggest getting things checked out further as much as you can. We took our time because we were told we had 'unexplained infertility' and I was ovulating and everything. On our first IVF we found out that (very strangely) my eggs just don't mature...apart from that there was nothing wrong...

We are now going for Egg Donation, so there is still hope and we have been down, but not out, on several occasions. I'm sure that this won't be the case for you, but I personally wish we had tried IVF a lot earlier as we would then have been a bit younger when facing Egg Donation etc etc. As I said, we are down but not out and we still have plenty of time for Egg Donation, but I just thought I'd encourage you to keep pushing for tests to try and get to the bottom of it all.

Please take this in the spirit in which it was meant...I'm not trying to scare you...just encourage...here if you need me whenever (and I've blown you some bubbles just to prove it! )

Take care
Jamina x


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## Tripitaka (Aug 3, 2007)

Hey Liz,

Thanks for your reply and HUGE CONGRATS on the BFP (I'm learning the lingo as I go here!). It does give hope to know it can happen eventually, I just wanna know when it'll be my turn.

So, I'm on folic acid but hubby's not on anything - we eat a pretty balanced diet so I figure he's okay. Have seen doc and got referred to a specialist who actually heads up the reproductive endocrinology and infertility dept at the university hospital here - she'sgreat and I doubt there's anyone better in the state to be seeing, lucky for us.  We both got thoroughly checked out, had my hormones tested and tubes X-rayed etc and all is as it should be...

Fingers crossed it all goes perfectly for you guys.
T x


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## A-D (Feb 8, 2006)

Hi again
Like you, we'd had those tests too...in fact we'd had ALL possible tests and they could never have discovered my problem until we went for IVF. I hope it does occur naturally for you, but if you are keen to get to the bottom of it, why not give IVF a go...

Jamina x


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## Tripitaka (Aug 3, 2007)

Hi Jamima and thanks also for your reply.  

No scaring here  just glad for all the info and advice I can get.  

Next month we'll be delving into other possibilities (probs IUI like you started out with) - I'll ask about eggs maturing but I guess they can't test for that without going through the IVF treatment - I'm not sure we're quite at that point yet, and our health insurance doesn't cover any of this treatment either so $$s come into it a little too.  I'll defs bear your comments in mind tho' and not hang about too long before trying IVF if needs.

I'm interested to know what other tests you had, only if you don't mind sharing?

Good luck with the egg donation - hope you don't need to wait to long for a bit of joy in your life.
Thanks again,
T xx


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## Tripitaka (Aug 3, 2007)

So, what are these bubbles?  As a newbie here I feel very pleased to have been sent them (thank you Jamima!) tho I don't know why or what I do with them ??


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi *Tripitaka* and welcome to the site 

Sorry to hear of the problems you have been having make a baby but you have come to a fantastic site full of advice and support.

I will leave you a couple of links to try out.

Starting out and diagnosis board..............http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=110.0

USA board....................http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=359.0

Girl and boy thread (fun area).........http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=1.0

We also have a great chatroom (check the index for themed chats). It is often good to talk to people who understand what you are going through. Every Friday Night at varied times is NEWBIE NIGHT Miss TC, Dizzi squirrel or I will be in there to help you use the chatroom, answer any questions, etc. If you can't make it on Friday night, just send one of us a personal message and we will meet you in there at a prearranged time for a short "one2one" session to show you the ropes.

For more info on Newbie Night follow the link...http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=85409.0

Good luck with everything

Kate xx​


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## M.T.B (May 31, 2007)

hi and welcome to FF

sorry to hear bout your problems TTC me too quite similar we have had bloods laporoscopy sperm tests 1 round ivf and no reason given to why it hasnt worked yet just unexplained?? more frustrating at times as if nothing is wrong why is it not working we have good and bad days and in the mean time friends get pregnant and have their babies whilst we sit back and watch and pray it is us one day.

Bubbles are like little cyber cuddles you dont know who sends them you can give them to others by clicking under their name but you cannot give yourself any ending in 7 is supposed to be lucky so i have blown you a few more to be getting on with.

all the very best on your journey we all here to listen and support to whatever you need xxxx


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

& Welcome to FF  Tripitaka 

Kate has left you some direct links to boards here on FF - that you may or may not have found, I encourage you to post in these areas to build friendships and support from members who really do have an understanding of your situation,
you've also had some lovely replies too, another personal story which is told to give hope for you, my step sister was given the "unexplained label" had 2 IVF's both failed so they moved on . . . a few months before her 40th birthday last year she found out she was expecting! I know how we all know someone who knows someone who had this happen, and it can be anoying but each time I think of the baby - it gives me HOPE.
To make the site easier to navigate click on the index tab at the top of any page - pink hearts mean there is something new within the board you have not read/looked at and if you scroll right down you will see the last ten posts from all over FF all are clickable  if you refresh this page (f5) it will update the last ten posts as well as the boards/threads and who's online!!!
take some time to look at the *help tab* too 

Check out the *Locations boards* for your home town & a site search for your *clinic*  you never know what threads this infomation will turn up on 

you mentioned bubbles 
Check out the FAQ thread too - heres the Link CLICK HERE

Unexplained - CLICK HERE

Wishing you Friendship  &    


If you need any help just ask!
~Dizzi~


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello Tripitaka, welcome to Fertility Friends. 

I think "unexplained is the most frustrating diagnosis out of them all. You're quite right to not want to "wait and see" any longer.

Lots of luck for you. Hope to "speak" to you again soon.

C~x


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## emsy25 (Mar 18, 2005)

Hello,

Just wanted to say hello and welcome.  Sorry to hear about your problems ttc.

Emma
x x x x


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## archer2 (Aug 6, 2007)

Hi there

I am new to this site and also feel it is good to discuss these things with people who actually understand! I am 35 and have been TTC for 2 and a half years - I actually did conceive early this year (after 2 years) but sadly had a m/c which was discovered at our 8-week scan. It is now 6 months later and I am taking Clomid with no success so far. On bad days I can barely look at a pram when I walk down the street! And I hate feeling like that. Before Xmas myself and hubby began going to a fertility clinic and I strongly recommend it - at the very least it will help you feel that you are doing something positive. Our tests there have showed no real problems - which should make us feel better but just makes you wonder why it's not happening! We are due to visit the clinic again next month and I expect will then decide whether it's time to try IVF.

I'm sure you will feel better if you get some expert assistance and really wish you all the best of luck!! It is so hard when others around you all seem to be having babies without any struggle, especially when it happens to close friends and all you want to do is feel happy for them, but it can be so hard to cope with. It does help to talk to people who know what it's like, which is why I've joined this site!

Good luck and keep in touch!


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## Tripitaka (Aug 3, 2007)

Wow, so many replies since I last checked in. Thank you everyone   It's such a wonderful support to know you're all out there whether you're having luck or not.  I hope my small offerings are helpful to somebody somewhere too.  

So Kate and Dizzi, thanks for the welcome words and the links. Very useful ta!

Hi Cooter - I know just what you mean. I feel so mean sometimes when I hear yet another friend or rellie is expecting... it's so unlike me but my first thought these days is for 'poor old me' and only then do I snap myself out of it and get happy for them.  I really don't like the person I turn into at those times - self pity is quite ugly!  I'm sorry you're having no luck yet either, esp after the IVF. It's so hard to keep the balance between staying positive and not getting your hopes up too much isn't it?  Sending bubbles back atcha.  Keep yer chin up.  

Caz and Emma, hello ladies and thanks for the well wishes. Hope we get to 'talk' again too 

archer2, I'm so sorry you had some luck and then the m/c. Must be so devastating. I understand how upsetting it can get just even seeing someone else's child. It's weird that in real life I can hardly bear it some days either, but at the same time I find myself obsessed with programmes like Baby Story and sit down for a daily snivel watching someone give birth on TV.  Lots and lots of luck to you too, I'm looking forward to keeping in touch.

tinkerbelle 78, hello and bravo on the abbrevs! I have no real clue what I'm doing yet so I think we're both doing well to be communicating with such success   Sorry you're having issues too, who would ever have thought there'd be so many of us in the same (or at least similar) boat??  I know the difficulty with telling folk - I've had to share our situ with a few for various reasons and it hasn't entirely helped, mostly 'cos there's no way someone who's had kids with no problems at all can really understand, and even if they sympathise, their words just don't ring true somehow 'cos of the situation.  My parents know we're 'trying' and my Mum is really good at just not saying anything unless I broach the subject. My Dad on the other hand is a nightmare... he's always full of 'useful' (more like useless!) tips such as advising my DH not to have hot baths or work with his laptop on his knee too much etc etc... He has no clue, bless him.  It's a coin toss what's worse - people not knowing or people knowing - either way there's always the inevitable questions of 'when are you gonna get round to having kids?' and I just don't think people realise how insensitive that is when we're trying so damn hard!!

Well, that was quite the blather. Hope I responded to everyone who's left such lovely messages here.  Here's to more chit-chats.  Good luck and multo bubbles to you all.
T xx


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## ♥keepinghope♥ (Nov 28, 2006)

hello and welcome

like you we are so ready to be a mum and dad and would be the best wish you all the luck with your journey and hope it all woeks out

keepinghope x


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## Tripitaka (Aug 3, 2007)

Hi keepinghope and thanks for your message.

It's such a harsh reality to feel like you'd make such great parents (we do too - DH has such a wonderful way with kids and I'm not half bad either!) and to have no joy on the baby-making front.  Especially when almost daily you see so many others who take their family for granted and/or don't seem to have a clue about responsible parenting 

Good luck also with all your endeavours to move beyond the 'ready and willing' stage and getting to the elusive 'able' bit.
T xx


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