# too old?



## Jeza (Jan 31, 2008)

Hi Ladies,
I was at a party last night and came across 2 friends proundly showing their pregnant bellies.  Me and hubby naturally felt odd as we are on our 3rd cycle of IVF.  I know these women are in their early 30's along with another friend expecting twins.  It just made me feel old    and have I missed the boat and I just need to face that fact...I know I should be possitive as we are still on a treatment, but I'm afraid if this one doesn't work, do we really want a child at all costs?  Do we want to use DE?  I know my hubby told me the other day how he would feel sad looking at a baby that was a DE and not seeing me in there.  I have got to thought the same thing.  Although I desperately want a baby and life has been on hold for us the last year what with operations and tx is it just the simple fact that we might be too old to concieve and maybe we should just get on with enjoying our lives with eachother and our lovely dog and be happy with our lot.  We have tried.  My fear is to be alone in our older age with no children.  I know it has made me feel melancholy today this realization and who knows this last tx we are to do with my eggs might work, part of me is still hopeful, but I am also realistic.  I don't want to look at younger women and feel bitter and resentful.  I do feel a little of that now.  I guess only time will tell.
Has anyone else had  similar feelings? 
Jeza


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## professor waffle (Apr 23, 2005)

Hon I was 39 when I conceived DS & was worried I was too old to even get pg never mind cope with a baby & toddler! It's amazing how many 'older' mums there are out there today TBH. Even when I had an emergency scan at the EPAU I mentioned my age & they told me they see 'much older' mums to be there & that 40 is the new 30 (wish someone would tell my aching bones tho )

I purposely attended NCT ante natal classes as the birth rate here is sooooo high & they're all usually quite young, at our new mums group I think I was the oldest there but you know what? Who cares!!!! As long as you feel happy to be pg (fingers crossed) at your age then it's right for you & with IF beggars can't be choosers as to when it happens, TBH as long as it DOES happen you're eternally grateful

I know that some of our extended family may have raised a few eyebrows as we'd been married 9 years & I think they thought we didn't want children.

I was lucky to concieve naturally at 42 & I do admit to being scared of ttc again as I'll be 43 soon but it is a case of how you feel & there are many plus points to having babies later in life though physically it can be tiring 

HTH?

xxx


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## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Dont give up!! 

its never the end!!....if you long for a baby give it all you've got!!!.......if you run out of steam with your own eggs try DE......it doesnt matter the genetic material is not yours  -epigenetics is proving that the host mother has a great deal of influence on the outcome of a donor egg baby- much more than scientists ever realised- so a donor egg baby is as much yours as any baby......... and even after that you could resort to a surrogate ...or even adoption.....it just means you can always be a parent of some sort...and love a baby and nurture them into adulthood...it just may not be in the way you first thought!!! 

karen xx


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## Lilo2 (May 10, 2009)

Just think of yourself like a movie star - they seem to pop out babies when they are in their 40s and I bet some of them have got to be from DE!

(I feel old but then I'm 44!  lol - but then the way I look at it the longer I leave it the older I will be, so there is no time like the present.)  And OK we haven't decided definitively yet but I am keen!!

Lilo


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## foxy lady (May 14, 2009)

Hi Lilo

I'm new on here but been reading it for a bit especially tthe over40's

I'm 44 as well oap!! Sick of being reminded of it every time I go to the clinic! Had daughter at 41 concieved 40 1st cycle of IUI but i think we used all our luck up on that attempt as this time has not been so straight forward.  As we already have one I woud only go ahead with my own eggs but if none I would use de. We started off with lots of hope as FSH came in at 5!!! consultant really positive but then after a couple of set backs did a AMH & it was dreadful 0.7 ! not sure how the 2 tests could give such opposite readings? Anyone else heard of any readings like this. Anyway we are now IUI with Simms back in monday for scan & bloods fingers crossed for next week


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## Lilo2 (May 10, 2009)

Hi foxy lady!

Gosh FSH of 5 - I am jealous!  Mine has been all over the shop.  I have to say I'm such an old timer at this I don't even know what AMH is - perhaps they didn't test for that in the old days!  Absolutely fingers crossed for you.  

Lilo


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## foxy lady (May 14, 2009)

HI Lilo
I was chuffed with the FSH test  until the AMH which is supposed to be the new all singing all dancing test & that result stinks!! Do you know if using FSH stimulation makes you feel bloated & wee a lot ? If I didn't know different I would think I was pg already the number oftimes I'm going to the loo! I'm just hoping tomorrow my follicle has grown enough to ovulate then the great 2ww!

Well here's to prooving the statistics wrong & showing 44 is the new 34!!


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## Lilo2 (May 10, 2009)

I don't remember feeling bloated and I wee a lot anyway!  Good luck and keep us updated!

(what do you mean 44 is the new 34 - I thought it was the new 24!!)


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## Jeza (Jan 31, 2008)

Hiya,
Thanks for all your responses.  I know I'm not even 40 yet, (2 months to go) but my ovaries are older than me!  I managed to get 3 follies growing this time.  One more for each cycle I've undergone.  I didn't need to stimulate for so long either.  I'm not sure why, it all seems flooks and luck I think.
I have planned my life out for not having a baby, and it's a pretty good one.  Me and hubby are almost wondering if we can afford a baby as well!    Double bluffing ourselves!  I suppose the outcome will reveal itself and it's really in the lap of the gods at this stage.  I'm hoping to get the 2 embies we need to put back in.  They insist on not going for the 3 till I'm 40, bummer as it's so soon, but they wont budge.   Hopefully 2 will be what we have and that will be enough.  I'm feeling quite relaxed and am looking for work and generally getting on as if I'm not doing any treatment at all, as life goes on...That is my point.  It is such a game of chance and this being our third and last chance with my own eggs, I don't want to be too upset if things don't work out.  The last year, what with operations and tx, it seems life has been on hold.  It's been frustrating and disappointing.  I don't want my life to be ruled by maybes and possibilities.  I hope to move on with whatever the outcome.  I hope for a wee crying baby at the end of this tx, with all my heart, and I remain positive.  Only 3 weeks more till we know...  (but with a smiley face!)    Good luck to you all  XX  Jeza


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