# confused niggles



## tigerbabe (May 26, 2011)

Hi all don't really know how to begin everything has been going great we finally got matched with a baby pink were shown a pic of her when given par for although they did say she was a couple months younger in it than she is now anyway we have since the other day been given some more pics which were taken two days ago and I don't feel anything  I'm confused and feel guilty and don't know whether this is wrong or right her first pic I was like how adorable but now she is very chubby and a lot of what fc talked about today was she is huge for her age and that she is very attention seeking etc and I'm just worried that maybe I will not be good enough as her mum. I don't know hubby said did I have doubts he loves chubby babies he was one and I'm more worried that baby pink will gave development problems with her weight and people will stare. I don't know sorry so confused I love hearing about her and it's frustrating not to meet her in person as u don't know how I truly will feel. Am I the only one like this?


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## Loopylou29 (Mar 4, 2013)

How old is she? Young babies become very aware of their surroundings around the age of 9mths which can sometimes be seen as attention seeking. In part it is a normal stage of development.  As for weight well its difficult until you see her. Our son was chubby at 9months because he wasn't mobile. Since becoming mobile he has slimmed down. He is 92nd centile for weight and almost of the chart in length!
As for not feeling anything from a picture, well lots of people feel like that. Your life is about to undergo a huge change so nerves and worries are normal. Waiting for matching panel is awful as you do question yourself.


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Hi,

I think niggles are normal at this stage. I didn't fall in love with the photo it thought he was a cute boy. He also had an eye issue which showed worse in pics so recent pics before panel made us worry more about his issues.

Re development delay, is this something you have been made awee off rom the CPR/medical advisor? If not then I think you need to seriously consider I you can cope with this. Some Dev delay can catch up but as milestones are really low if Dev delay is diagnosed then they may always have it unless very clear reasons. I can tell you more about this CIA PM about this subject.

Adoption is a leap if faith and we were very worried and full of what ifs at this stage but we were fully committed to LO and thought it was meant to be. Once home things can be tougher as you all learn to adjust and sometimes you can worry more as you get to know your LO (we had behaviours never seen before in FC).

I'm not saying this to scare but more these things all make the anticipation a worrying time. If the match is right then it really is all worth it! I wouldn't change things.
X


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## Laws1612 (Dec 12, 2011)

The unknown is a scary thing.....the minute shes living with you you wont worry.....you wouldnt have got this far lovely if you wrrent gonna be a good mum....the amount we have been through to get us here makes us completely ready for anything....in terms of baby and her weight your new and exciting life may make her silm down and regarding devlopment stages it is a leap of  faith however anyone could have what they think is a healthy pregnancy and baby and it might not be it can happen to anyone.....try not to worry and like I said wen you meet her im sure the love will grow....and you will look back and wonder why you worried.....
good luck zxx


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## snapdragon (Jun 27, 2011)

My lo was a very chubby baby. He was 10lb at birth and 4 weeks early! I have lots of baby pictures of him and to be honest he wasn't the most beautiful baby. He looks completely different now at age 3 and though I am of course biased he is a very beautiful boy and quite slim. I would also say I have 2 albums of photos from fc's covering up to age 22 months when placed and he looks very different in lots of them. Try not to worry about a couple of photos. If i'm honest I might have had second thoughts if I had seen some of the photos which would have been a huge mistake.


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## watakerfuffle (Jan 26, 2011)

Hi tigerbabe

I think what your feeling is very normal like others have said. I remember the first pics my husband and I saw of our son, I really felt nothing! Then we had a dvd and some more recent pics and again I didn't feel much! I was so worried as to how I would feel when I met him, was he really the right one for us but then from everything I had read about him he sounded perfect and I knew I couldn't base a decision on pictures. In fact I compared it to meeting my husband as I didn't warm to him straight away either but been together 9 yrs now!! When I actually met my son for the first time he looked completely different from the pictures and the image I had from the dvd that I had been playing over and over for the previous month! As I got to know him and his little character over intros and then the next few months I fell in love with him and he couldn't be more perfect and lovely. He has changed so so much in the last 18 months as well, really blossomed and any developmental delays that were talked about are not a worry at all as he has come on in leaps and bounds


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## Ally Wally (Mar 1, 2011)

Hi Tigerbabe

When I first saw the photos of our little man, I felt nothing. I panicked as I knew the sw was watching my reaction. It took a while for me to feel anything really. Photos don't really show the real them either, they always look different in real life as you can then just absorb all of them. I was worried as he was deemed a 'large baby' and I was concerned with how I would cope with this. In all honesty, I completely adore him but it is hard as yes, people do stare and make endless inappropriate comments. Just today some random 10 year old boy told me he was a big baby. Thanks. He is developmentally delayed and his size makes him seem older than he is and this doesn't help. But you know what, we made the decision that he is our little boy and he is ours to parent and love no matter what shape he is or level he is at. Hope this helps.


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## tigerbabe (May 26, 2011)

Thank you all in taking the time to read and reply I am glad that what I'm feeling is normal and that both dh and I were worried but we talk to one another about it and realise it doesn't matter as every day we get new photos of LO and we are falling more in love with her all the time we now can't wait until intros to finally meet her.


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