# Men!



## g&amp;t (May 22, 2004)

Hi Ladies,I need help! for a wee change.
Anybody that iv met through the storke group will know i talk way to much and I know thats what helps me.Iv been to see the fertility councillor because iv had to go because iv egg shared,iv enjoyed it but i never put to much into it.I think thats because i don't feel like i need it.
Now here's my problem I need help with,my man,He's falling to bits.We always found aspects of treatment and it not working difficult but i thought we were fine.A work mate of his has recently announced he and his partner are having a baby after 5 cycles of of treatment to help her ovulate,each time she got preg but this is the first they got through the 13week thing.
Since he told DH3/4 weeks ago he can barely hold things together.He wanted to leave his job move to feckin new Zealand(maybe for a holiday to see the lion man)
I cant remember a night he hasn't cried or snapped.Its taken me this long to suggest fertility counselling without the growl.He thinks it would be yet another way to prove he's not a man.He wont talk to his friends,we talk all the time but I think he needs s friendly face that wont cry when they see him get upset.All joking aside,I adore my man and its killing me that he's in so much pain and i cant help.
I was hoping that one of the ladies might have a man that'll write a few words on what they thought of having the counselling.Iv got him to come on to the site a few times and check other stuff out,maybe if he read something from someone else in a similar position it might help.
I'm sure some might think its a bit drastic but I'm at a lose as to what to do,and he's my 44yr old baby and i feel like he's in so much pain and ill try anything! Thanks Tracey


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## IGWIN79 (Jan 19, 2009)

G&T your man isnt alone or the only one , my DH is the same never talked about it but i could see how much it was affecting him ,
it better to talk to a conciller , i myself was funny about going , i am not one to talk about my feelings especailly to a stranger , but it the best thing i have ever done and am due to go back with dh, it really helps to talk to someone you dont know 
Men have just as hard a time as the women , and i think people tend to forget that sometimes it doesnt make you lees of a man it just shows you human  , tell him i told him to try it he has nothing to lose and he will feel better talking to somone 
all my love sweetchilli xxxx


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## Bunny-kins (Oct 3, 2008)

Hi G&T, There's nothing worse than seeing your man start to crack under the strain, it's more difficult for them as they see themselves as your protector and want to be the strong one. I think we tend to forget that they have the same feelings and worries as what we do because they don't talk about it. I agree with Sweetchilli, I think talking to a councillor will be hugely benefical for him. There's something about talking to a person who is not conected to you in anyway that makes you open up more (isn't that exactly what we do here?)

Have you posted this in the Mens room hun? May be one of the guys can talk to your man...maybe via PM??

Here's the link if you need it

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=35.0

I hope he finds the support he needs and well done you for being a lovely supporting Wife! 

Bunny xxx


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## Jillyhen (Dec 17, 2009)

G&T

My hubby is the exact same, when i told him my mate was preg he just walked into the living room and sais ah right, he is just itching to be a daddy as we are the only couple who arent parents. When we first started seeing the consultant he had refused to get a samole taken so i told him if i had to see poked n prodded so had he.

He finally admitted that things happen for a reason and as we are trying to get a site passed to build a house he said it will happen then. I wish men would just open up more and talk like us women do


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## g&amp;t (May 22, 2004)

Thanks so much for your replys,I suppose its all work in motion,waiting to see what the next step is.I sort of think its always been this hard for him but we've had treatment to distract us.We arent really sure were to next so i think this is the time to fix him!
IM just rubbish at it,20yrs and i still cant get him to put the toilet seat down .This seems like hard old work.Thanks again.if i succeed getting him to talk to someone  ill let you know how it happened.traceyxo


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## Jillyhen (Dec 17, 2009)

We are just biding out time till we start our treatment hopefully in oct/nov. Ive only been with mine 4 years but he was very spoilt by his mum when he lived at home.

We cant do with them and we cant do without them!!

The girls here are great i had a rant and rave earlier n just typed how i felt, its great that there is someone out there who is goin thru the same thing as you so ask away at the start i asked anything and everything

Jillyhen x


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