# Is it too early? UPDATED



## LittleMissM (Jul 23, 2010)

I have a 9 week old little boy who we miraculously conceived after a failed IVF cycle - no fertilisation happened.
I really dont want my LO to be an only child and dh and I are discussing our options on how to proceed.

Do you think its too early to start looking into this now? I went through egg share due to cost and would have to have another cycle before I am 35 in order to go through the same tx again, so that gives me just over a year. DH and I have discussed doing a cycle and freezing our eggs ready to go when LO is a year old. We want to try and enjoy our LO first but the time constraints have me worried.

In my heart of hearts I dont think we wil be lucky again naturally as I am 100% positive it was the tx that kickstarted my system or a left over follie.

I would love your opinions on what to do ladies x


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## eibhlin (Mar 4, 2009)

Hey Sue33

Congrats on your lovely baby boy!  Great news!  I love that he was conceived after your failed cycle, what a joyful story, gives us all great hope to hear it too!

I know you're looking for opinions, so not that I have any right to comment or advise, as I'm probably completely loopy, but sure I might as well anyway!  For what it's worth I'd say trust your instincts - if you feel you want to look into it now why not ring up your clinic when it feels right, or if you're also trying naturally, well whenever things settle down iykwim or if they have already then go for it!

In case it helps, I totally understand what you're going through, my wonderful little miracle ds is 10 months old and we're starting a frozen cycle.  He's an absolute joy and like yourselves we're enjoying every second, but we have time constraints due to me having quite tired ovaries!  We met up with the clinic when he was 7 months old and even knowing we had the appointment (I booked months in advance!) made me feel calmer!  Now he's a bit older I'm actually getting more relaxed about the prospect of him being an only child, but a few months ago I was obsessing about having another one!  

I love ff through as it makes me feel so normal for wanting another miracle (boy am I greedy!) and also normal for also feeling extremely guilty and greedy and wrong for wanting another miracle! 

Best of luck with everything and congrats again! 

xox


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## LittleMissM (Jul 23, 2010)

Thanks so much for your reply. I feel exactly the same elated but guilty, and it is getting to the point of obsession  

I think I will ring the clinic just for a chat and see what they say.

Good luck in your FET, I   it works for you, will you do a fresh if it doesnt?


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## Shooting star (Apr 12, 2007)

Hi ladies

If it makes either of you feel any better I have just given birth to DS2, (11 days old!) and I am already desperate for another! So Sue, as you can probably tell I dont think it is too early for you to consider your options for no.2. I thought once I had one child the feelings towards having another would be less strong but the feelings just got stronger and stronger. I know how blessed I am to have 2 but that feeling is coming back already! To be honest if we did not have infertility issues we probably would not feel so guilty or gready as people who conceive easily have 2,3,4 or more and people never question!

Here is my story, any thoughts greatly appreciated.

Ok I have a bit of a dilema.The question is ' should we try for no.3 or be greatful for what we have?' 

Basically I have hypopituitarism which means that I only produce all the reproductive hormones in trace amounts. I conceived DS1 after 3 years of fertility investigations which basically found I never ovulate on my own and then conceived him after 4 cycles of clomid and HCG injections. DS2 was conceived after 7 OI cycles injecting menopur and HCG, over a period of about a year (much more expensive about - £8000).

Anyway, I would love another child but DH is very reluctant because of cost, physical, emotional and financial and feels we should be happy with what we have - I adore my 2 boys. I realise DS2 is only 10 days old so this seems really soon but my condition means that I am at risk of osteoperosis and other things if I do not start treatment soon. This treatment would prevent me having any more children. I have to make this final decision by my endocrinology appointment in April. I know this will come round quickly. If we tried again it would have to be menopur injections again and would probably take a long time. I would be 34 when we started trying again, which worries me a bit in terms of complications. I always have difficult pregnancies because I have to take large amounts of hormones in order to maintain the pregnancy and always have to have c-sections.

The other reason for me wanting to try again is that both my boys started as twins, losing the second twin each time at about 7/8 weeks pg. I somehow feel I am meant to have more children. Sorry if that sounds weird.

SS


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## LittleMissM (Jul 23, 2010)

SS - Your the same age as me and I suppose whether you have one or more that pull for another child is so strong regardless. Is it hormones? Is it the fact that we have all suffered IF? Its so hard to put a finger on it.
I cant say that I was feeling like this when LO was 10 days, but that was prob because I was sleep deprived    bet your a pro by now though!
Can you afford the cost? My gut feeling just like for me is to try again. What if you dont try will we always be thinking what if?
I dont ovulate all the time, I am very sporadic, and am thinking of trying clomid for a couple of months and see if this works before doing IVF, what do you think of this idea? My dh is on board but just not with the timing, I would go now, he wants to wait, but what the doc says has been ringing in my ears since.


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## Shooting star (Apr 12, 2007)

Hi Sue

Its strange isn't it what causes this longing. I wonder if its because so much time and thought goes into these babies that we appreciate them that much more and recognise how special they are.

DH is on paternity leave at the mo so is doing alot of the night feeds. Isaac feeds every 2 hours round the clock! However DS, who is 3 and half only started sleeping through the night 2 months ago so I am quite used to it! That said I hope this one is a sleeper.

We probably cant afford it to be honest as we are moving house in January and of course this is expensive but I like you am thinking of trying a few cycles of clomid as this is not very expensive. Although I have been told the chances of success for ,me with clomid are low I did manage to conceive DS1 using it. My other thought is to try accupucture and herbal remedies to try and acheive natural ovulation but I know nothing about this and dont know where to start.

If I am really honest my major fear is having a child with Downs or other serious problem. I know you can test and find out but I have never had any of those tests because I would never willingly end a pregnancy. That said I am not sure how I would cope and it is DH's greatest fear. Its the main reason he thinks quit while ahead as he puts it. Again while I am being honest, although I really love my boys I would desperately like a girl too.

I dont think you have anything to loose by trying clomid. In terms of timing I would not try until LO is 6 months as our bodies need time to recover from the pregnancy and research shows that the instances of MC are higher in women who have conceived less than six months after having a baby. Although many people manage it successfully.

Loads to think about isn't there.

SS


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## LittleMissM (Jul 23, 2010)

I think we defo appreciate our babies all the more. Why would you appreciate something that just falls in your lap compared to something that you fought so darn hard for!!!!

Clomid didnt work for me before and we did 6 months but I did ovulate, but perhaps luck will be on my side this time  
I would give it a go as if it worked before who is to say it wont again?

I tried acu before and found it really didnt help me but others say it worked, you need a fertility acupuncturist, but it can take time and is not that cheap, but cheaper than tx! Not sure of the herbs though.

I would love a girl too   too much testosterine in the house as it is as the cat is male too


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## gerbera77 (Feb 1, 2010)

Hi there

Hope you don't mind me joining as we are in the same boat too.  Our DS is 5 and 1/2 months old now - time has flown by!!  It is highly unlikely that I will go back to work (due back in April after 1 year of mat leave), but just in case I do (part-time) we are thinking of having another cycle in Feb/March.  My dilemma is do I stop breastfeeding.  If so when? I have emailed my consultant who said that I need to have stopped breastfeeding and ideally have had 1 or 2 periods.  I still have not had a period.

Part of me feels terribly guilty that I may be denying DS breastmilk (have only exclusively breastfed) but then the other part feels that I am doing it in order to give him a sibling as really dont want him to be an only child so I am doing it for a very good reason!!

Any advice/opinions very welcome!!

Sue - massive congrats on your new arrival!  If it will make you feel more relaxed then definitely contact your clinic - after all you are just finding out info for the future.

Shooting star - And same to you - huge congratulations!  I don't know where you live but I used a wonderful lady for acu who specialises in fertility treatment who is based in SW London.  Let me know if you are in this area and would like her details.

eibhlin - lots of luck for your frozen cycle!

xx


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## LittleMissM (Jul 23, 2010)

Gebera - If you stop bf it can take a few months for your periods to come, so do you think you will stop soon? You have given your LO 5 1/2 months of bf which is amazing, we only managed a few weeks so rather than beat yourself up, pat yourself on the back as you have done fab!  

I wish I didnt have to go back to work.

DH and I have had a chat and we are going to start naturally for now and get some clomid for dec/jan and if no joy by March then we will do an IVF cycle.


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