# Only one good Folli, to proceed or not? Help!!!



## bestbean (Oct 4, 2010)

Hello
Im completely confused.  Yesterday I had my 3rd scan following stims, 2nd scan showed 2 folli's, this scan showed one at 15mm which the nurse said looked nice, 2 at 11mm and 2 more at 8mm which she said probably wouldn't do anything.  

The hospital given me the choice to proceed or not to EC, it would be Monday and I have to decide today.
I can't stop crying, I hate making decisions and Im reading a lot of negative reports about proceeding with a limited number of follicles.  

Ive been told i have 2 IVF goes on the NHS, if I cancel now this doesnt count a a try.  If I go to EC that is one try.
I orginally thought we' d have no goes, due to post code lottery so these are a bonus for us.

The scan also showed a fibroid 3 x 3cm, Ive had 2 removed already.  If doc doesnt like the position of this fibroid again I will have to have another op, which will delay next cycle for approx 8-12 months. Doctor is on leave today, so cant consult.

Im 35 with family history of early menopause, so any delay is significant to me.
Do I have faith in my one little folli, go with it this time and cross the fibroid issue when we have a result, then at least I've had a go, before the delay or do I cancel this cycle and hope the fibroid doesnt need another op and hope the next cycle produces more foli's?     

Any stories or pearls of wisdom would really help me right now
xxx


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## Cazne (Jul 19, 2009)

bestbean, what a horrible decision to have to make    I am so sorry.  I was in a similar positon last year (but with 2 follies)  I chose to go ahead, mainly because I couldn't bear not to.  One of the eggs did fertilise but it was a bfn ultimately.  

Thinking of you 

Cazne xxx


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

I'm in a similar situation hun, but I have 2 follies and a final scan booked tomorrow to decide if they can proceed to egg collection.  I'm going to take a leap of faith and go for it, even if I just have one follie.

My egg collection will happen on Monday or Tuesday if all goes well tomorrow, so if you decide to go ahead, we'll be doing it at the same time.

Please keep me posted.  Sending you lots and lots of love, hang in there!   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## bestbean (Oct 4, 2010)

Hi Cazne and Troll, thanks so much for the messages

I decided to go ahead, and called the hospital to confirm on Friday.  I'd been praying and hoping for a chance for years basically and even thought I've only got a small chance I decided it would be awful to reject that opportunity.  What if that one follie is THE one.  I also asked the hospital how soon I could try again and they said April, thats just too long for me, my body clock is ticking sooo loudly, I dont want to waste anymore time that I already have done.
So, Im going for egg collection today, having these messages of support have really helped me feel like Im doing the right thing.
Ive spent the weekend, trying to be chilled (no chance), Ive had the odd brazil nut and sat with hot beans on my tummy when I had the chance.
Hope you've been ok this weekend Troll, I'll be thinking of you and sending you loads love and positive energy, hopefully I'll have some good news from you in a couple of days!! xxx
  
xxxxx


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

Hi hun, I wish you the very best of luck and hope we will both have good news in the next few days.  My EC is scheduled for tomorrow.  I'm praying hard for both of us     
Take care, please keep me posted, I will be thinking of you xxxxxxxxxx


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## Cazne (Jul 19, 2009)

bestbean and troll, good luck to you both, I have everything crossed for you


Cazne xxx


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

Bestbean, are you home?  How are you feeling hun?   xx


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## bestbean (Oct 4, 2010)

Hi Troll, Cazne
Sorry, just logged on
It went absolutley fine today, I'll really be thinking of you tmrw Troll
We had some good news, they managed to collect 4 eggs!!!  We were so pleased, I just hope they get it on tonight and we get an embie!!!
The procedure was fine, just a bit sore tonight but I'll have an early night, I think I'll sleep as Id been stressed so much before and Ive got some trashy DVD's for tmrw to take my mind off things, until the embriologist calls.
Take care and sending you loads of positive energy and prayers.
xxxx


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

That's fantastic news!  I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for your embies  

Feeling a bit worried about tomorrow.  M (my hubby) has already gone to bed (we get up at 5am most days so we're usually in bed by 9.30pm!), but I'm too nervous to sleep yet.  Just been filling in consent foms for the EC.

I'll be back tomorrow, hopefully you'll have had good news from the embryologist.
Sending you lots of good thoughts and prayers       

xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## bestbean (Oct 4, 2010)

Thinking of you Troll, dont worry, just rest now, youve done all you can xxx


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

Bestbean, thank you so much.  I was up early and feeling a bit nervous, although I think I'm more worried about the suppository thing than anything else!!  

Right, better to get ready, have to leave in about half an hour to catch the 07:39 train to the hospital.

Hope you get good news tody hun!    

I'll be back later xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Gypsy Moon (Feb 20, 2010)

Troll and Bestbean - Good luck for today.  Sending loads of


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## bestbean (Oct 4, 2010)

Troll, I hope everything went well and your feeling ok, Im sending you lots of      
I just got the call and have one embie!!!  Yeah     I know more would have been better but I'm so glad I proceeded and to get this far has definitely made me know I made the right choice.
ET tomorrow lunch time, I booked acupuncture for before and after, Id read that the Zita West clinics do that so I've got to give this little bundle of cells the best chance I can.
Thanks for the positive thoughts Gypsy Moon, it really help to get some kind words xxx


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

Gypsey Moon, thank you so much for the good wishes.

Besbean, I am absolutely delighted for you hun!  That's a great idea to book the acupuncture.  I will keep everything crossed for your BFP in a couple of weeks.

I just got home from the hospital.  Unfortunately we didn't get any eggs    I am ok, mostly I am really sad for M as he so desperately wants this to happen and be able to hold his little Troll Baby.  When they told me they were expecting me to be upset, but my first thought was for M, for some reason they thought he would be ok.  His disapointment just breaks my heart  

So now we have to go back for a consultation in a week or so to find out what happened and why it didn't work.  We will take it one step at a time and work out where to go from here.  We are very lucky, we have a great relationship and an amzaing life together and whatever happens we will get through it together.

Thank you for all your support, it really means a lot to me.  Please stay in touch, I'd love to know how you get on   xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Gypsy Moon (Feb 20, 2010)

Troll - So sorry to hear your news.  Be easy on yourself.  Sending you both      .


Take care,
Gypsy Moon
xxx


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## SonicD (Oct 7, 2010)

Troll, you're being so amazingly positive - you have a great attitude.  I wish you all the luck in the world.  I know what you mean about the DH and their hurt - it can get easily overlooked. 

Good luck bestbean - hope your embie clings on! I have been listening to Zita West - very relaxing, so much so I keep falling asleep! 

I have started my first course of Gonal F - with a likely EC next week so my heart goes out to you both    
I'm not too nervous yet - its my first IVF/ICSI - trying to keep all emotions in check!


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## bestbean (Oct 4, 2010)

Oh Troll I'm so sorry for you both, but you have something to work with, and you'll feel better when you've had your consultation and they can let you know where to go from here.  I'm sure you'll have lots of avenues to look at.
Like you said and my DH had reminded me, when I was so upset on Friday that we have a great relationship and this is just one aspect that you get so wrapped up in.  
Keep positive and keep strong!


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

Gypsy Moon, SonicD and Bestbean, thank you with all my heart for your lovely thoughts!  What would I do without all the support I have got here  

Physically I feel ok.  Oh except when one of the cats jumped on my tummy and I realised it was actually a bit sore - poor little thing got freaked out when I yelped, then promptly came back and snuggled up next to me on the sofa to sleep    

Emotionally I'm not sure, I've been so worked up about it all for the last few weeks, I think I'm a bit deflated.

But I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't deal with the disappointment and then get up and fight again!  So this is not the end for us    

SonicD, keep us updated hun, I'd love to hear how you get on and will keep everything crossed for you.  You have the right attitude, try to stay calm and take it one step at a time.  Good luck!

Bestbean, you and your DH sound like you're very lucky too.  I hope so much you get your BFP, it seems like the one thing that would make a great relationship absolutely perfect.

Take care ladies, keep posting and please stay in touch xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

Bestbean, hope the ET went well yesterday and the acupunture helped.  Been thinking of you    

SonicD, hope you are feeling ok and those follies are growing nicely  

M and I had a great night out with friends last night so we're both feeling much better  

Hope everyone else is ok too.  Lots of love   xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## bestbean (Oct 4, 2010)

A good night out is probaby just what you both needed Troll, keep you on track and remind you of who you are without the injections drugs and appointments.  I hope your consultation goes well   

Hope your week is going well SonicD, have you had any scans yet?

I had ET yesterday, I think the acupuncture helped and i still have a little one in my ear for keeping calm, DH is a little tense today which wasnt helped with the cat peeing on the hall carpet   but just trying to keep myself in a calm positive state for the 2 weeks!! 

Love to you all xxx


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

Bestbean, how are you hun?  Just thinking that you must be due to do your pregnancy test soon?  Will keep everything crossed that you get your BFP    
Lots of love to you   xxxxxxxxxxx


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## bestbean (Oct 4, 2010)

Hi Troll
I'm doing ok thanks, its been a bit of a rollercoaster few weeks, as they say, I test on Wednesday, so I'm just       that we get a good result.  I have been going a bit mental but I think Ive calmed down this week to accepting whatever the result is but DH has promised to take me out tomorrow night, so I dont pull my hair out.  Keep up the    and     for me please!!!!  
Hope your doing ok.   LOL xxx


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

Bestbean, have been praying hard for you hun, how did you get on today?        

SonicD and Gypsy Moon, how are you both doing? xxx


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## Gypsy Moon (Feb 20, 2010)

Hello Troll,


I'm okish.  Keeping up to date by reading the posts on here and praying bestbean has good news today.


The drugs are causing me more trouble this time.  Last time I had the nasal spray but having to inject this time.  Feeling sick all the time, depressed, emotional, and waking up really early in the morning and not getting back to sleep.  Work is hell at the moment (short staffed) and I am feeling really pressurised.  That isn't helping and all I do is lie in bed worrying about work and crying!


Oh well, hope it means the drug is working.  DR blood tests next Wednesday.


Take care,
Gypsy
xxxx


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

Oh Gypsy, you poor thing!!  You don't need me to say it, but try to take care of yourself hun, although I know that's easier said than done!  Big hugs to you, I hope next week is good news and you can move on from this stage.  Feel free to send me a PM if you need someone to rant to   

Although having said that I'm going to be "off air" until Sunday after today, but I'll definitely get back to you after that 

Keep well everyone, lots of love xxx


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## bestbean (Oct 4, 2010)

Hi Troll and Gypsy

I think I have really happy news.  I did 2 tests this morning, very faint but seem to be positive!!  Ive just been to the hospital to get a blood test and should have their results tomorrow.  I'm so praying that its true but darent allow myself to get too excited.   

I'm sorry your not so good at the moment Gypsy, as Troll says try and get some time for yourself and try and keep positive, I know its hard but least you know theres a reason for you to be feeling like this, the drugs really mess about with your emotions and at least it should be a means to an ends.   

Take care all and thank you so much for the thoughts xxx


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## Gypsy Moon (Feb 20, 2010)

Bestbean - Keeping everything crossed for you xxx


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## SonicD (Oct 7, 2010)

Hi ladies, hope you are all well. 
Bestbean, was that a faint positive line....is that a yes!!!?? I hope so!!!!! Fingers crossed for you. 

So I had 4 ECs, and 2 were transfered (6 cells and 8 cells). The night befor the ET we were reading lots about the Single ET recommendation. We were so confused the night before and the risks of multiple births vs sucess rates etc etc.  We didn't know what to do.  In the end the Dr convinced us to go for 2.  

So, I'm on day 9 at the moment.  Relatively calm....?  We do live in Abu Dhabi and the driving here is mad - I nearly lost my cool a few times in the car this week and wanted to rip someones head off - maybe that is how I am expressing my nervousness - so watch out you Arab boy racers - if you are unlucky you might be faced with my road rage!!! 

....otherwise - just waiting    
When are you suppose to do a preg test - the clinic said dat 12


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## bestbean (Oct 4, 2010)

HI SonicD
Sounds as if your getting on really well, two in, snuggling down! I bet it was a difficult decision.

I hope your keeping that calm mindframe   I think the 2nd week of the 2ww was the hardest, I was just a bit fed up and nothing to do to help and back at work.

I tested 14 days from transfer, which was 16 days from collection.  I had to fight to not test earlier and I'm glad I didn't because my line was so faint, I wouldn't have believed it and would have wanted to test again anyway, but I'm sure day 12 would be fine, I know a lot of girls on here test earlier and I the books indicate you could test from around day 12.  Thats only 3 days left!!  How exciting    

I had a blood test on Wednesday and got the results Thursday, it indicated raised levels, they wouldn't say what the levels were, but they said it was a positive pregnancy, I'm still very little nervous and i tested AGAIN today and still positive.  I just cant really believe it but must promise myself to not test everyday before my scan!!     

Keep us informed and let us know how you get on.  I wishing you all the   I can do all the way over there in Abu Dhabi.

Gypsy, how are you getting on?  Where are you at now, Have the drugs settled down and are you feeling a bit better.  Hope work aren't putting on you too much and your getting some sleep   

Troll, I think your off line now but hope your doing ok!


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

Bestbean OMG!!!!!!  That's just the most awesome news!  Congratulations hun!!!  
So when do you have your scan?  It must seem so strange at the moment.  How are you feeling?

Gypsy, hope you are feeling better now hun.

SonicD, I will keep everything crossed for you too, here's hoping for the same good news    

We had a lovely few days away in the Lake District, it was cold but it didn't rain at all and we did two very spectacular walks up some big hills.  I just love being out in the open country where you can walk forever!  We have our follow-up appointment next week so it was just what we needed to clear our heads and be ready for whatever may happen next.  One of my friends that did the walking with us is 4 months pregnant!  She is my hero, she was absolutely amazing, not sure I would have that much energy and stamina in the same circumstances!!  

Take care all, keep posting your updates, it's lovely to come back and catch up with you all   xx


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## bestbean (Oct 4, 2010)

Hi Troll and thanks for the message!  

I'm doing fine thanks, I had a small break down on Saturday, I think I'd over done it and had a tiny bleed, luckily we had tickets for Harry Potter so that took my mind off it a little and and it seemed to settle down, a quick hpt again on Sunday and it still says positive, so I'm keeping everything crossed and     the scan is ok on the 10th Dec.  It seems like a lifetime away and Ive also now read about empty sacs giving positive results but nothing actually growing.  I'm holding my breath until the scan date and then hopefully we get a heartbeat.  I am trying to be   and DH keeps telling me off when I find something new to fret about   he he

I'm glad you had a good trip to the Lakes, its a fabulous place isn't it, I think getting out into the fresh air really helps clear you mind and helps you look at things a lot more positively.  I hope your appointment goes well and you can get excited about the new year coming in and what it'll bring for you    

SonicD, are you testing today or in the next couple of days?        for you, how's the road rage!!

xxx


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## SonicD (Oct 7, 2010)

Hi Ladies, 
Hope you are all well.  

Troll it sounds like you had a lovely time in the Lakes, i hear that it has got a lot colder in the UK at the mo - another snowey one! 

Bestbean - how are you doing? Still hanging in there I hope.Lots of relaxation I hope?!

Well, I've been trying to digest what has been going on the last wk or so.  Went for a blood test at day 12 or so and it came back as  . can hardly believe it.  had another test four days later and it was positive again!! Hormone levels are doing really well and they will probably do a scan next wk - when i'll find out if there might be twins!!!!  Kinda hope it isn't twin b/c of all the risks to the babies etc 

Feel very strange.  last wk i was convinced it hadn't happened - felt like i was having period pain, but was told that was "normal" (that's when the road rage was settling in!)  Then I just relaxed and here we are....wow  
Sitting tight and taking it v easy - stopped exercises and sleeping in lots at the weekend!!! Any excuse!!

Good luck to all of you ladies, relaxation and positive thoughts!!!


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## bestbean (Oct 4, 2010)

Hi SonicD

I'm so pleased to hear from you and even more pleased you've got some great new!! Well done on your     

I understand your reservations about twins, I suppose the only thing you can pray for is healthy little beans growing, one would be perfect but two would just be doubly lucky and I'm sure your health would be fine, doctors would keep a good check on you.

AFM, I'm just waiting for my scan, time feels like its stood still.  I worried myself again by doing an other HPT at the weekend and did one of those digital tests and was certainly expecting a 3+ weeks result, I did get a positive but only 2-3 weeks, I worry that that means my levels aren't very high enough but I'm trying not too focus on that but I don't want to get too excited until I see something more concrete.

Your right SonicD its   here, snow last night and now some more, pretty but a bit dangerous on the road.

Take care all, positive thoughts and much love 

xxx


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

SonicD, what absolutely AWESOME news about your BFP, huge congratulations!!!!  I'm really very happy for you hun!  

Bestbean, a week to go until your scan?  keep us posted on how it goes, I'm sure everything is fine, it's only natural to be so worried though.  Easy to say, but try not to stress too much.  I'm thinking of you  

As for me, I'm afraid it's not great news.  Guys have given us less than 5% chance of success with my own eggs    We've both been quite upset, just need some time to get our heads straight before we decide what to do next.  Maybe we'll still have one final try before we give up completely.

On a postitive note, I absolutely love the snow!!  We're snowed in at home which is actually really nice  

Lots of love to you all   xxxxxxxxx


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## bestbean (Oct 4, 2010)

Hello

Troll I'm so sorry you didn't get very good news at your consultation.    I can bet you've been quite upset, is disappointing but also frustrating that your body isn't doing whats asked of it, I've always felt that while trying to get pregnant, I'm a bit of a control freak and not getting what you try very hard to get is hard to bear.  I know that your DP will be very upset, you said how much he wanted a baby Troll.  

I suppose you can try and put all your effort into having a great Christmas, and the new year may be brilliant and bring you all you want.  Remember that the consultation is just one hospital and you could do really well on another try.  I remember being told by one of the girls on here, when I wasn't stimming well at all, that she was told by her consultant that really the 1st try is a practise and next time you'll have a lot more information about how you respond to the drugs etc the next time

I wish you all the luck in the world       

I'm loving the snow too, i think my boss hates me because Ive worked from home for 3 days, ah well, love it!!

xxx


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

Bestbean, thank you so much hun for your kind words and positive thoughts!  I'm trying very hard to be positive about this, and yes we can still give it one final go before we give up completely.  It's tough at the moment as M won't talk about it much, he's really upset and I think he needs some time before he's ready to deal with the next thing.  It breaks my heart to see him like this  

We have agreed though that we will go for counselling in the New year as it will help us both put things into perspctive and decide what we want to do.  We still have the DE option, but I have some reservations about it which I think it would help to talk over with someone.

I'm going to do my best to make it a good Christmas for us.  We've been through a lot of ups and downs ths year with the whole fertility thing, maybe we just ned to put it all out of our minds for a while and enjoy each other's company and being with family.

We've also been snowed in and this is day 3 of working from home for me too.  Yesterday we dug the car out of the snow and went to the supermarket to get some food as we'd run out, that was a mission, but fun!  

Take care hun, stay warm and safe and look after your little mini bump.  Let me know how it goes with the scan.

Lots of love   xx


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## bestbean (Oct 4, 2010)

Hello Troll and SonicD

Hope your both doing well and getting ready for Christmas.

Troll, I think counselling sounds a really positive good idea, get this year done, enjoy the holidays and then work out how best to proceed and actually what your goals are for the future with a bit of help. It may help M open up a bit, but they are useless at vocalising....  

SonicD I hope everything is going well with you, good luck with your scan!! x   

Not good news for us I'm afraid, we had our 1st scan on Friday and it wasn't what we wanted but I have to say something inside me already knew.  The scan showed a lovely sac but no feta pole or heartbeat.  I think some people call it a bighted ovum, which sounds rotten but basically means that our IVF worked, implanted and started to grow but stopped for some reason.  Apparently its common, (although Id not heard of it), sometimes it just happens, and other times its due to poor quality eggs, maybe because the reserves are getting limited and the ones left aren't the best quality.  I suspect that this is the case with me, as we have early menopause in the family, but we'll hopefully get some more answers on Friday when we go to have another scan, just to make sure theres nothing there.

I was devastated over the weekend, it seemed very cruel to get this far and then have our hope taken away, but getting our heads around it now and can see a lot of positives from the cycle.  I hope we get the chance to try again, pretty soon, I think our clinic said March /April, the sooner the better for me.

I hope Christmas is a blessed distraction!!

Lots of love xxxx


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

Oh Bestbean, it upset me so much to read this hun   I am so so sorry that it didn't work out for you, I wish I could give you a real hug    I am amazed by your positive attitde, you have so much strength to be able to look at the positive side of this and want to try again.  I pray that the next one is lucky for you and you get your dream  

Take care of yourself hun, try to relax and enjoy Christmas.  You are in my thoughts.
Lots and lots of love to you xxxxx


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## Gypsy Moon (Feb 20, 2010)

Bestbean, sending you loads of      .


Gypsy
xxx


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## Gypsy Moon (Feb 20, 2010)

Sorry no personals but just wanted to let you know that I haven't even made it to OTD this time   .  Woke up in the night to stabbing pains and now bleeding (including clots).  Can't stop   .  This second attempt has hit me so much harder.  Guess it's getting nearer to calling it a day and accepting life as it is.  I suppose one plus point is that I found out now and I have a few days to digest it before Christmas.  Will definately have a drink on Christmas Day now and wouldn't have been able to do that as OTD was Boxing Day.


I will keep in touch with everyone but will probably take a little break from this all consuming journey to recharge and rethink our options.  I'll keep reading your news.


Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Healthy and Happy New Year.  May all your dreams come true in 2011.


Love to everyone.


Gypsy
xxxx


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## bestbean (Oct 4, 2010)

Gypsy Moon I'm so sorry, I wish I could give you a propper hug   

Its so disappointing, you must be so upset and what horrible timing.  I suppose the only thing you can do it try and put this horrid year behind you and see how you feel when you turn the corner into the new year.

I think also it may be worse the second time because you have the nervousness from the 1st attempt, I think we all go into this process quite wide eyed and it does knock you about mentally.

I completely understand wanting to take a break, although Ive found the help on here invaluable, I think it also maybe intensified every emotion a bit for me, the hurt that people on here are experiencing and the huge highs and lows.

You enjoy that drink on Christmas day, and have a toast to a good year coming up xxx Keep positive honey


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## Troll (Sep 30, 2010)

Gypsy, I am so so sorry hun!  I haven't been on here for a while either as just wanted a break from the whole thing, but I wish I had checked earlier just so I could have let you know that I am still around if you need someone to talk to    

I hope you enjoyed Christmas and I pray that the New Year brings you closer to your dreams.

Lots of love to you xxxxxx


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