# Failed IVF cycle - Has anybody else lost the motivation at work etc....



## Mrs Courage (Jun 6, 2015)

I am 39 years and failed my 1st IVF cycle last month, we went abroad to Norway as it's cheaper than going private in the UK. They retrieved 5 eggs from me and 2 fertilised (grade A). My husband and I were full of hope and excitement but then during my 2 week wait I started to bleed quite heavily and knew the game was up and we had failed. Since I've come back from Norway and failed my IVF cycle, I have lost total interest and motivation at work and simply don't want to be there (I guess it doesn't help that the office environment is not very relaxed and friendly). I am also just distant and distracted, I guess just thinking about the failure and the future of having to go through all this again. I am going to have another cycle in November, but am worried that I will fail again. I didn't think the failure would affect me so much. I just wanted to know if other people have felt/feel the same way being back at work after a failed IVF and if you find it difficult and almost fed up of trying to be happy and supportive of others who have now had babies etc... especially going through what we are going through...


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## Jomojo (Jan 17, 2014)

Hi Mrs Courage, I can completely identify with your post. Our last cycle failed in April and the dissapointment and grief hit me like a tonne of bricks. Every morning for about three weeks I would sit in my car outside the office and just cry. At work I had no motivation or concentration and I found that I could not cope with the stresses of my job as well as I normally can. I begged DH to let me hand my notice in but he persuaded me not to make any rash decisions while I was clearly not feeling myself.  Looking back, I wish I had taken sometime off sick to get my head around it but I have a stressful job and I would have just been stressing about what would be waiting for me on my return.  Is it an option for you to take any time off? One thing I can say is that you will start to feel better, it may take a little time but you will heal.  I have found that getting out in the fresh air and exercising has really helped with my mood and I am able to concentrate much better at work now. The motivation has improved but it's not back to where it was but that is because all of this has made me decide I want to change careers- only problem is I would hav to go back to college and can't afford to not work full time if we have to fund more IVF. You have plenty of time until your next treatment so let your hair down over the summer and do nice things with DH, meals out, walks etc. 

Big hugs


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## Mrs Courage (Jun 6, 2015)

Thank you so much for your kind words, it's nice to know that it's not just me going through this


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## Miss Sunshine22 (Mar 12, 2013)

Hi Mrs Courage

I can totally identify with what you're saying. When our third cycle failed last year,  the two months following it were lost in a haze. I don't know how I got up every day and got through work. I was totally unmotivated, disinterested, would just sit and stare at the computer. As a manager, I had to support two of my staff through pregnancy and impending Mat leave and smile all the way through it. Grim times  

It did get better though, and I am sure it will get easier for you. Its hard to do IVF, and then a BFN is a horrible shock to take. Don't feel bad for feeling this way. It's totally normal and understandable.


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## Mrs Courage (Jun 6, 2015)

Thank you Miss Sunshine22, it's so tough, I really didn't think it would affect me this way, I think you are so strong having done what you have done at work supporting your two members of staff through their pregnancies, it takes a lot.

I wish you good luck with everything xx


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