# Why do I feel the way I do.. I have 2 children



## x shye x (Jan 24, 2006)

Please can someone explain to me why the heartache of not having children naturally keeps hurting me so much, it rips my heart out. Why can't I have a baby so easily. I long for no 3 but the thought scares the hell out of me...I so long for that natural pregnancy... I love my Boys, when I read stories on here, I feel humbled, I feel wrong to complain, am I the only 1....
Anyone have any good thoughts on books that would help xxx
Thank u x


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## jdm4tth3ws (May 20, 2012)

hi x shye x,

you are not alone. i, too feel exactly the same way. i have been blessed in the last 20 years to have had 4 boys, 3 living. 3 natural pregnancies and one ICSI baby. 2 with previous hubby and 2 with current hubby. current hubby had the problems, so our 1st baby was ICSI. my 1st died of cot death, but my other 3 have survived, thank god. i am still yearning for more!!!

i have had 4 beautiful boys, but secretly yearn for that elusive girl. however, if i was lucky enough to fall and stay pregnant, another boy wouldnt be so bad  

i love having babies, thats just what some of ladies were born to do  

again, you are not alone, my love

xxxx


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## kandykane (Nov 17, 2008)

I have a wonderful, beautiful son who is the apple of my eye and who I love with every fibre of my being. I know how lucky I am. BUT. I yearn for another, it won't happen for us and it hurts like hell. We both desperately want another child and it is so distressing that we can't 'just decide' like most people, have a bit of fun and job done. Instead we have to weigh up whether we have 7 grand to spare for a very very slim chance of possibly having a another child. Not fair.   


Just because we are grateful for what we have doesn't mean we aren't allowed to want more.


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## Penelope Pitstop (Oct 24, 2010)

Hi Ladies,
I am glad that its not just me that feels this way! I have a beautiful son from IVF and I know how lucky we are to have him but I am already thinking of baby number 2 as I loved being pregnant and being a mum. I had both my tubes removed due to them being blocked and containing a toxic fluid and although I know it was the right thing to do it still hurts to think that we will never be able to 'just decide' to have another child. I still get very jealous when people announce their pregnancies especially the 'mistakes'!! 

xx


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## Kuki2010 (Oct 22, 2009)

Oh Ladies, after 6 years of hell. I have not two girls.. And sooooo happy but logning for another is always with me in every single second.. I don't hink it will not go away till I am over 50s or late 50s. Knowing that is it no chance of its happening.. I so wish I could just close this baby making book but not sure how and if I can at all.
Love and huge hugs to you all.
Kukixxx


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## Bubblicious (Jul 8, 2010)

I have two fantastic children, too ... the first naturally conceived, the second, an ICSI baby.  But I feel I will always be the one amongst my friends and family, who struggled with fertility issues and although I've been incredibly lucky, I will always be scarred by that period in my life when we didn't know if we could have more.  Before this happened, had you asked me, I would have said I wanted two children.  Now, having been through IF, I somehow want to (over)compensate by trying for more ... to prove to myself (or perhaps others) that I'm not the only person in my circle to not to be super-fertile.  I'm sure this feeling will subside over time but I can't imagine it disappearing altogether.  After all, it's your life experiences that shape you as a person.

You are not alone.


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## isobel snow drop (Feb 2, 2009)

I've got 2 sixteen yr olds and although I'm resigned to the fact I'll never have another baby I don't think I'll ever get over it and infertility has blighted my life for the best part of 20 yrs.


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## strawbs (May 16, 2005)

I have 3 children, would love more.  I am not sure the longing will ever go.  My DH says no more and after a very long and difficult journey, I know deep down we should count our blessings and start living without the IF and m/c cloud hanging over us.

Group hug ladies x x x

Strawbs x


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## sanfrancisco (May 15, 2010)

I feel the same.We have had a difficult journey and spent 30,000  pounds on getting our 2 ds's.I always wanted 3 children,but deep down,I know my 18 week old will be my last  .I was looking forward to moving on with life after ds2,but truthfully the trauma of IVF still haunts me(which is why I still come on here)We won't be having more ivf,I'm nearly 41 and financially we would be mad to try again!!We have some frosties which I wan't to use next year but hubby says no way-maybe secretly I am hoping that there is a little female frostie in there I would love a natural bfp just to prove that we can do it and that we are'normal'but with a blocked tube and immune issues and not ever had a bfp in 6 years of trying I know it will never happen So ladies,seems we all feel the same,but I am so grateful for my 2 and that eldest ds is no longer an only xx


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