# Virgin to chat rooms! (New member// N.Ireland)



## Tearful (Nov 19, 2007)

Hello  
I have never been in a chat room before and tis all a tad confusing!   I'm sure i'll get there eventually! 
Been feeling a tad miserable  lately having no one to talk to who really understands the IVF journey. Then my sister suggested chat rooms. Curiousity got the better of me and i entered 'ivf chat room' in google---holy heavens, loads came up. Alas i have been wanting to find people in Northern Ireland so i was more than happy to find this site.  

Not really sure if i'm doing all this right and posting/replying in right place! 
Sooooooo, anyone out there??


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## Dahlia (Oct 29, 2007)

Hallo and welcome to FF 
I amd new to the site too but find it very friendly and informative too so you are in the right place! 
Infertlity is lonely and difficult to understand if you haven"t been through it yourself !
Dahlia x


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## Tearful (Nov 19, 2007)

Hello Dahlia !

Today has been my first day online and i guess i can feel a grey cloud beginning to lift a little. It has been very hard having no one to understand. 
I have a twin sister who now has 2 little girls and is happy and satisfied with her family of four. (I would have a football team!) I then have 3 younger sisters, all of whom have a boy each. The newest addition to my nieces and nephews clan is only 6 mths. Its very lonely not really being able to speak to them properly. I feel i'm missing out on being able to join in with the conversations about firsts walks and first words, even up to first bullying in school episode! My younger sisters would talk to me about some of their concerns, for example one of my nephews being bullied in primary school (7yrs old). Even though i offer them advice and they listen, it still leaves me with an empty feeling. Perhaps they are inwardly thinking 'and what would you know'. 
I wish that all my sisters and i had kids all growing up together as cousins around the same age. I sometimes feel that by the time i have any kids (if !) then all their cousins will be too old to play with them the same. 
I'm 30 and my DH is 49 so time isn't really on our side either. 

xx


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## Dahlia (Oct 29, 2007)

Hi Tearful!
I must be hard when your twin as her family "completed" (like people say?!).Like you I would LOVE THE FOOTBALL team too  .
You"re right about the time thing,there is no point in hanging around (I am 38 very soon ).
We are also surrounded by babies and imminent babies on both sides of our family,it is very hard to keep smiling and listening to all the tales being told.
Hang in there 
Dahlia x


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## Guest (Nov 19, 2007)

Hi Tearful, I can totally sympathise with how you feel, I don't have the problem of family having babies but more our entire circle of 
friends. We were the first ones to get married (8yrs ago) and now are the only ones not to have children. The last couple to get married got pregnant 3 weeks after the wedding!! It's SOOOO hard being happy for them but just wishing it was you. Anyway, heres a big hug just for you . Hope that's cheered you up a bit.

Bumble Bee


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## Tearful (Nov 19, 2007)

Hi Bumblebee !

Thanks for message. Life can be so unfair can't it. A girl in work got pregnant on honeymoon and i felt so jealous. Some peeps find it so easy, they just take it for granted. Did you see in the paper the other day the story about the quads? DH was booked in for the snip in 4 days time when they found out! Probably felt like their worst nightmare whereas for all us girls would be a dream. 

How are things going with you? Where are you in this emotional rollercoaster?

 Big hugs to you too!

xx


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## Cate1976 (Oct 29, 2007)

family having babies is so hard.  My cousin got married 2 weeks after DH and I.  His wife had #1 in March 05 and is now pg with #2 due March/April 08.  My sister had a baby October last year.  My Nieces 1st birthday 4 weeks ago hit me so hard.  That was amde harder by the fact that i thought I was pg back in feb 05.  Got + on peestick day   was due.  4 days later    turns up on day that blood test done at health centre came back -.  I'm sure i had an early mc.  It hit me that if my pg had lasted, I'd have had a LO turning 2 a few days after my niece was 1.  Got through a very tough week thanks to the senior leader of the church DH and I go to being absolutely brilliant down to letting me whinge for 15 minutes when he had only gone to his office to write something up for a meeting he was in and had to get back to.  A few   dropped when he gave me a hug before I left.


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## Guest (Nov 22, 2007)

Hi Tearful, hope you are well.We are just at the start of what seems to be a very long journey. We've been ttc for about a year now, i'm 33 with stage 3 endometriosis, DH is 36. I have to go for a blood test next week to make sure i'm ovulating and i'm seeing my gynae on the same day. My GP is happy enough to let him deal with me and refer me onto the next stage. Unfortunatley he doesn't do Obstectrics (spelling is nor my strong point!!) or fertility care, so I will have a chat with him and see. I gather Dr McManus or Dr Williamson seem to be good so will probably go for an initial consul with one of them and then get on the NHS list too. It all seems quite scary  . I think the next step will be a SA, although my DH inists there is nothing wrong with his swimmers, men eh!! I keep saying they need sat nav cos they obviously can't find where they're supposed to be going, gotta keep 
smilling.

Bumble Bee


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## beanzie (Nov 26, 2007)

Hi Tearful,
Its my first time on a chat room as well. I've been reading some of the other posts and it looks like it should give us somewhere to go for  info and to let off steam.

Good luck,
Oons


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## kate z (Feb 17, 2007)

Hi Guys 

great to see other new members from NI - I joined in February but only got the nerve up to post last week!!  
I am in the same position with the friends thing - all my closest friend are now mummies and no matter how hard we try to makesure it doesnt affect our friendship its bound too - their priorities are different and its hard not to get jeaulous if they have no problem conceiving!! 

Good luck everyone and keep smiling 

Kate Z


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## shoppingqueen (Nov 22, 2007)

Hi there

I'm new to all this too.  I've benefitted from the other messages but til now haven't been brave enough to post anything on - I guess I wanted my first post to be a positive one.  Sadly 
it won't be.  Just had a BFN after our first ivf.  We funded tghis cycle & were so hopeful.  Fruday was 
horrific but beginning to feel a wee bit better.
This site is so helpful as its one of the few places you can go to where u can be honest & people understand.  Its also nice seeing others having similar experiences at RFC.

We all just have to hope & pray that this journey ends in a positive way soon

Love

Shopping Queen

xxx


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## Fionab (Aug 30, 2006)

Shopping Queen, welcome to the board.  I'm sorry that you have just had a BFN.  We have all had disappointments of various sorts to deal with so we are there if you need to talk about it.  It is hard to accept but give yourself time, don't rush back into treatment too soon as we found the time in between was useful to get over the disappointment and to give your body a rest.  Do keep up your positive attitude as it will help you get through this.

Fiona


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## Dahlia (Oct 29, 2007)

Hallo and welcome to Oons  ,

plenty of shared info here and yes it"s good to let off steam too!!

Hallo also and welcome to shoppingqueen too  ,

sorry to read of your negative cycle, I am sure you are gutted. .As Fiona says allow yourself time to get over this knock and be kind to each other.

Come and join us on the NI thread, we are all at different stages of treatment but hopefully between us we can answer questions and be a good support for each other.

Hallo to Tearful ,how are you? 

Dahlia x


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## Cate1976 (Oct 29, 2007)

Hi shoppingqueen, welcome to FF.  So sorry to hear about about your BFN.


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