# Who's who?



## HopeSpringsEternal (Oct 15, 2005)

Hello all,
I'm fairly new to Fertility Friend but one of the reasons I signed up was because I was so amazed to find a board specifically aimed at people like me  

As you can see below, we are facing infertility due to cancer - well, actually, due to cancer treatment (oh, the irony  ) My H has been healthy for the past three years and we are now desperate to start a family  

Since some of the posts here are a bit old, I thought it might be nice if those of you still around introduced yourselves - I'd love to get to know you all  

And any success stories would be nice  

Is anyone at the Woking Nuffield?


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## *Jenny* (Aug 24, 2005)

My name is jenny and i join the community of fertility friends a couple of months ago. My DH was diagnosed with non Hodgkin's lymphoma may 2004. He had chemotherpay that finished Nov 2004 and then a months worth of radiotherapy Feb 2005. He has had three swimmers test, one in Feb no  , one in June no   but his last one in august showed that   was slowing returning. We were referrred to the fertility doctor (nhs) and i will not be going back there, he was horrible.   So if we need TX them i will be going private.

I had to terminated me last pregnancy at 17 weeks because the baby was very ill.   To be honest every part of his body had something wrong, inside and outside. I gave birth to a baby boy June 2004.  . We have later found out that the baby's illness was caused but a genetic defect that both my DH and i have. e have a one in four chance of it happening again.

So this is me. a lot has gone on in my life of 23 years but i glad to still be here and it has made me stronger. I am grateful that my DH has now cleared cancer and that one day there is a possibility of us having the child we have always wanted. I am also very grateful for all the support i have received on this website. Without it i dont know what i would have done.  

best wishes to you,

                             
Jenny

I live in Ramsgate Kent.


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## HopeSpringsEternal (Oct 15, 2005)

Hi Jenny  

looks like it's just the two of us at the moment  

I'm so sorry to hear about everything you've been through - it's a lot for one person to deal with all in one year  
Very good news that your DH is well now!!   And sounds like his fertility is slowly returning   Unfortunately, three years on it looks as if that won't be happening for us 

Why was your NHS experience so bad? Our NHS PCT doesn't even offer fertility treatment so we are currently waiting for a private appointment at Woking Nuffield. 

What is your next step? 

I hope we can both be celebrating each others good news   in the not too distant future


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## Ajax (Oct 1, 2004)

Hello to both of you,

Welcome Hope - nice to meet you!

Hello again Jenny - how are you?

My name is Amanda and i am 26.  Like both of you, my DH has had his life turned upsides down with cancer twice in his 29 years.  Once when he was 17 and again at 21.  Really was not a chance in the whole world that his fertility would return after so much chemo and radiotherapy.  Funny thing was though is that it did return after cancer number one, which was when his swimmers were stored ( and of great quality)  - so there really is hope of regaining a good count!

I cant believe how long you are waiting for a PRIVATE appointment - sounds crazy and unfair to me considering you have to pay for the privaillge- i did not come accross a waiting list in the private sector - must be a very popular clinic!  

Hope that you both get the longed for result that you desereve very very soon.

Amandaxxx


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## HopeSpringsEternal (Oct 15, 2005)

Hi Ajax 

Firstly,   on your pregnancy! And twins as well! Hope you have a very happy and healthy pregnancy  

My clinic is very popular - it came out really well in the statistics the HFEA released at the start of the year. We already had DH's swimmers stored there (and have been paying for the privilege for three years  ) but because I am the one who will have to receive treatment, we are counted as new patients and have to wait with everyone else   Very unfair, but then I'm sure you both know how unfair life can be sometimes  

Do you mind me asking.....how much   did your DH have stored and did you have IVF or ICSI? I'm a bit worried that because we have 'limited stock' so to speak  , we have to make sure we have the best chance of success


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## *Jenny* (Aug 24, 2005)

Firstly i think we have all had so much to deal with  , some people go through life with nothing but some people have all sorts thrown at them However, it does make us stronger and in my experience it has made my DH and i even closer.  

As for why my NHS experience was bad, where do i start, firstly it was hold in a  maternity ward, babies crying, women screaming while they are in labour, bump everywhere it was like my worst nightmare,     then we got to see the consultant, he had not read our notes,   he assumed that i had the problem and when we finally got a word in and told him that we were there cos DH cancer he said that   can disappear again without notice   and that he was only willing to offer treatment with donor sperm.   Now why did DH bank   just to use donor  . The Doctor was really horrible and as if he did not care at all. If we need treatment i will being going private and that is that.  

As for our next step, my DH test came back with 98% abnormality and <1million which is not good but having talked to a fertility helpline they have said that it is good, it should improve and they have not heard of anyone getting   back and then losing it, they did say that counts vary from day to day but that is normal. So we have decided to wait have the next test which is due the end of this month and see what happens. Finger crossed everything will be back to normal. but having lots of   and   just in case.

 Ajax, I am sorry to hear about how long you have to Wait for treatment but   on your pg i am wishing you a happy and healthy pg. I hope you and your DH are well and i am sending lots of       .

 hopesringseternal, i am sorry that your DH   has not returned yet, i was told it could take up to five years so        in hope that   returns. If not i wish you all the best for your treatment and i hope that you get your dream.     

Well sending out lots and lots of                                  

Jenny


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## Ajax (Oct 1, 2004)

Hi Hope....

In response to your question....we had ultra limited supplies....we had 5 vials in total, but thankfully they were all amazing quality(super b*lls as my Dh likes to call himself!!).  We used one as an IUI as the Consultant advised us that they would need to do a test thaw in anycase and rather than just chuck the blighters down the sink he would incorporate a treatment.  
Obviously this didnt work and it took us almost a year to get to grips with IVF and accept the IUI had not worked.  This time the Cons said he would judge on the day whether it should be IVF or ICSI.  They collected 8 good eggs and the lab advised that due to imited supplies that they thought it would be best to maximise the chances with ICSI.  As it happens only 2 embies were good quality and we had no frosties to fall back on....clearly i didnt need them!!
Also, just wanted to let you know (maybe you already do!) that in cases of limited supplies the lab can actually deforst the swimmers, do ICSI and the re-freeze the remaining ones.  I did not know this until the EC day when the lab told me and this itself gave me far more confidence as i thought it was 4 chances and then full stop!
If you have anymore questions, just yell!
Luv
Amanda xxx


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## soulcyster (Apr 6, 2005)

Hi Girls,

I just wanted to say hello to you all!

I got a BFP with my first attempt at ICSI, but unfortunately the pregnancy was no longer viable about a week later.  I think it was a result of immune issues.  However,  I got 18 eggs at EC and 9 made it to blastocyst stage - we have 7 frosties which we hope to use in January.

Soulcyster


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## *Jenny* (Aug 24, 2005)

Soulcyster,

I am really sorry about your loss. I hope that everything works out for you in the end, sending lots of         for January.

DH had an appointment at his cancer consultant today, all well,   wants him to have a scan just to make sure but the lump is still going down.   In nine days it has been a year since he had his chemo.   When he was diagnosed i never thought we would get to this stage but he is know 27 ( 6th November) and things are going well.   I know this is silly but i am well excited, i did a home   test and it came back positive,   then yesterday i got a positive OPK test so i hoping that this month might be lucky for us,       however, there is always that doubt in my mind that if i do get pg there is a 1 in 4 chance of me having another affected baby,   but to be honest i would do things differently so i had not regrets this time.   Well enough from me, hope everyone is OK.

Sending out lots of                    

Jenny


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## Mooky (Oct 9, 2005)

Hi , just thought I would say hello. My DH has just had 2 very low sperm counts and high % of abnormal sperm. We are waiting an appointment at our nearest fertility centre, it is NHS but brand new. Unfortunately we are limited in choice as we live in deepest Cornwall !
I would be happy to chat to any of you although at the mo we aren't having any active treatment so I can't offer any advice. I am as confused as the rest of you from the sound of it.


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## *Jenny* (Aug 24, 2005)

How is everyone? 

I am currently on my   so  for a  . I am going completely  . I don't know why i think it is going to be  , there is a chance but only a small chance and i am hoping, wishing, praying, watching the lunar cycles and even doing a spell tomorrow night. 

 Mooky, how are you? I am sorry about what you are going through.   I hope things get better for you.           

Wishing everyone good health, lots of luck              and a lot of   along the way.

Jenny


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## Ajax (Oct 1, 2004)

Hi Jenny

Sending lots of     your way.  Really hope that you get the BFP that you so much deserve.

Luv Amandax


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## *Jenny* (Aug 24, 2005)

Thank you Amanda, i wish you all the best for the rest of the pg. Take care of yourself and your two little babies.            

Jenny


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## HopeSpringsEternal (Oct 15, 2005)

jenny - I am so sorry you have gone through so much   I don't blame you for going private for tx after an experience like that    Fingers crossed for you this month     
Fantastic news that your OH has reached the one year mark  Lots of love for a healthy and happy future for you both  

Ajax - thank you so much for sharing your story   I didn't know they could refreeze   so that's really made me feel a lot better   And fantastic to see it's worked out well for you 

soulcyster - lots and lots of     for the new year. Sorry your first ICSI didn't have a happy ending  I hope your dreams come true with your little frosties   

mooky - welcome!! I have a long wait for treatment at the moment, but in the meantime I'm learning sooooo much from this site...I'll be so prepared when the time comes   Lots of love and healthy vibes to you and your H


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## *Jenny* (Aug 24, 2005)

this sounds strange but i am only CD 12 but i tested this morning just needed to, i think there was a second line, it is very very faint but i am sure it is there so i am going to test in the next couple of day's and see what happens but it gives me an excuse to dream about me and our baby. Even if it does not last.

         to everyone else

jenny


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## HopeSpringsEternal (Oct 15, 2005)

OMG jenny!!! You know what they say...."a line is a line....."  

Oh, I'm sooooo hoping you get a


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## Sara W (Sep 27, 2005)

Hi, 

Just wanted to introduce myself, and prehaps give a little reassurance.  We are currently going through a stimulated iui, I've been down regging for 19 days and still have 6 to go (oh yes I have grown horns ). My DH has been treated for non hodgkins lymphoma 3 times now.  Firstly at 18, then again at 21 using chemo and radiotherapy.  He then went 10 years at full health and most importantly (considering we both desperatly want a family together) his   came back, he refers to them as super swimmers!  So there is every chance they may reappear, but we are all very different.

Unfortunately in Jan 2004 the cancer reappeared, and he underwent chemo followed by a stem cell transplant, to ensure it would never come back.  It was very scary at the time as it was the most severe treatment but it was also the best to ensure no more cancer.  However we were also told there was no chance DH would be fertile, a small sacrifice for him being with me.  So we have 14 vials stored away and every hope of creating our dream family.

Infact on the 7th December all going well we will have IUI exactly 12 months after DH was told he was fit enough to return home for xmas.  The greatest present ever, we only dream that this xmas the presents might be as great   .

No matter what, we know that this will happen for us, as modern medicine has already given us so much.

So wishing you all the luck in the world,Sara xxx.


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## *Jenny* (Aug 24, 2005)

Sara,

I am glad you posted here and told us your inspiring story. My DH also had non hodkins lymphoma but it had only just been a year since his last chemo so still very new. I don't know how you and DH copied with it three times, it nearly sent us  . your story has filled me with hope for the future so . I am sorry that you had to make that decision and i know many people will say, well at least you will be together, a small price to pay but i just want to say that it is true but i still am sorry for you and it still much hurt you and DH to be put in that position. I know that my DH has only had it once and his   have showed signs of returning but i know i was over the moon that my DH beat it but it did not stop us from hurting deep down, so i feel for you. But you have a future together and as you said with medical advances i am sure you will get a bundle of joy in the near future. Sending lots of        and   for the future.

Well as for me, i am still going  . This has been the hardest month, i have been really moody on minute  , crying the next   and then happy  . I have got this really weird feeling deep down, like something really bad or really good is going to happen. Does anyone else know what i mean?   I just want to test again but i am scared of what the result is going to be, even if it is   it is not all good news, me and DH are carriers of a genetic defect which means it has a 1 in 4 chance of it being affected, i lost the last baby to it and i am scared.   I don't want to lose another  . Well i will have wait and see, only time will tell but that is easier said then done. I am trying to keep positive in case i am .

Well enough of me   going on and on.

 to every one.

Lots of luck and best wishes to everyone,      

Jenny


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## Mooky (Oct 9, 2005)

Hi there to everyone. I find so much support from reading these postings as I am reminded that it is not just me going through all this rubbish. I had the fun of finding out that my sister in law is pregnant by mistake whilst on the pill - isn't life just hilarious 
Thank you to you all for your words of wisdom and encouragement. Heres sending lots of love and luck to everyone


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## *Jenny* (Aug 24, 2005)

all,

Just to let you know that my DH and i have decided to go for adoption.   It has been a very hard decision but as you all know we have a genetic problem as well so this is best for now. We are not going for any more  tests at the moment, let nature take its course and once we have adopted and a few more years down the line then maybe it will be right. I can not deal with all the stress of  ,  at the right time of the month, ,   and 's. I have felt so trapped, tracking, monitoring, looking for signs, not drinking, sleeping right, given up everything just in case. I want to live. Enjoy my self. Have a drink without feeling guilty that may have stopped me getting  this month. I also want to enjoy the company of children without feeling so down and low about them not being mine. Well sorry to rant. 

How is everyone?   Did everyone have a good Christmas?   What is your hopes and fears for 2006?   It would be lovely to hear from you all.  

Lots of love and best wishes.             

Jenny


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## Ajax (Oct 1, 2004)

Hi there

Jenny, i just want to say that i think you are very brave to have made such a tough decision and really wish you are your lovely DH much luck in achieving your goal whichever route finds you first.  Do not feel bad about ranting - i think all your reasons sound very well thought through and really sensible.

Christmas is my favourite time of year and this year was no exception - my DH spoilt me rotten, but hey i'm WORTH it!LOL

Hopes and fears are saved for every single day not just 2006!  Obviously, i hope that my babies stay growing healthily and that all 3 of us will be safe.  That will be more than enough for me, although i would also hope for some expensive perfume, flowers and choccies but hey we cant have it all!LOL  Fears are clear aswell - the thought that all will be taken away from us is horrendous but these are things which are controlled by a much higher power - all we can do is hope abd pray.

SAra - i just noticed that you got the most amazing xmas pressie ever - Congrats to you and your DH!!

Love to all
Amanda x


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## Mooky (Oct 9, 2005)

Happy New Year to everyone. We had a great early Christmas pressie in that our first appointment for the fertility centre came through ! We go on Jan 4th, very excited. 
Hope this is a sign of a good year to come.


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## HopeSpringsEternal (Oct 15, 2005)

Fantastic news Mooky  

We're a couple of weeks behind you - have our first appointment on 23rd January   Here's hoping 2006 is a good year for all of us


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## Ajax (Oct 1, 2004)

Wishing you lots of luck Mooky and Hope  

Luv
Amandax


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## cupcake (Jan 3, 2006)

Hi I am new to this chat site, so a quick introduction.....

My DH was diagnosed with Follicular Non Hodgkins Lymphoma in 2004, we stored sperm straight away as he quickly underwent x6 CVP chemo cycles with rituximab which ended in Dec04.

In the January 05 he went straight on to have a course of Zevalin which is a radioactive immunotherapy that is injected into the bloodstream and stayed in his system till October 05.

Our local NHS waiting is 3 years and due to DH treatments we had to try privately in the meantime. We had our 1st IVF August 05, which was BFN, tried FET November and then December but both BFN.

We will find out in January if DH sperm has recovered or not and see if any hope of trying normally again, even though the odds are against it!

It is good to know I am not alone! Although I wish we all were not having to deal with cancer and fertility problems... but it is good to hear other voices in the same boat!

Love to all......

Chelle (Cupcake)


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## Ajax (Oct 1, 2004)

Hello Chelle

Welcome to FF 

I am sorry to hear about everything your DH has been through over the past few years but glad to hear that treatment is finally finished.  

Sorry that your 3 attempts with IVF and ET have not been sucsessful.  

There have been a few cases on here that i know of where the man's swimmers have returned after cancer treatments so hopefully this will be the case for you and your DH.

Wishing you lots of luck for the january results - keep us updated of your progress!

Love

Amanda
xxx

P.s Mooky - GOOD LUCK FOR TOMORROWS APPOINTMENT!! x


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## HopeSpringsEternal (Oct 15, 2005)

Welcome Cupcake 

I know what you mean - no-one would want to be a member of this particular board   but if you have to be here, it's nice to be here with friends  

I hope you get some good news this month    


Mooky - best of luck for tomorrow  

Jenny - you have been through so much, I hope your decision to adopt gives you some piece of mind  Keep us updated on how you get on  

Ajax - it always makes me smile when I see your posts   It reminds me that there is hope that one day I'll get that  

Lots of love and best wishes to soulcyster and Sara W too - hope you are both well 

(sorry if I've missed anyone  )


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## cupcake (Jan 3, 2006)

Hi FTC Girls

Hope - Amanda
Thanks for messages - good to hear friendly voices 
My DH last treatment was a year ago, but as he has follicular NHL, various treatments will continue intermittently throughout his life. We have been told it can be well managed in this way so we hope for good results 
 

Jenny
Adoption is something I have thought about too, but as DH has F-NHL I am unsure if we would be approved?
 

Sarah
Your DH is strong to recover well from a stem cell transplant, I wish you both the best of luck. In between my DH F-NHL treatment "windows" we have been slotting our fertility treatments in, just another life juggling situation for us to manage!
We were initially going to start with IUI but we found out I have a blocked tube which would reduce our chances with IUI, so we chose to go straight for IVF privately (as a 3 year NHS waiting list) and we wanted to minimise the time we spent trying due to both our ages and the F-NHL situation. 
Santa didnt bring me all I wanted this year, but I hope he did for you? 
 

Love to all

Chelle


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## *Jenny* (Aug 24, 2005)

cupcake and welcome. Your situation is so remarkably like mine. DH got diagnosed with F-NHL in May 04,  was stored straight away, he received 8 sessions of chop chemo with rituximab. This finished in Nov 04 then Jan 05 had received a continual 28 days of radiotherapy. We have not gone for any treatment as we have an added problem, we both carry a fatal genetic problem which means that we have 1 in 4 chance of the baby being affected.   We lost our first baby June 04   just as DH was going through his first chemo. But i am getting off the point, if you wanted to go for adoption every authority is different, our said that as long as he has recovered and a GP will back that up there should be not problems. Plus i wanted to wish you and your partner all the best.  

Hello everyone else. This was supposed to be a quick post as i have had a hell of a day, one thing after another, then to top it all we were driving down the road and someone   shot a air rifle at the drivers window and smashed it. Luckily DH was fine   and i just had a bit of a shock but why? we were not doing anything to anyone. Sometimes is seems that the whole world is against us. Well we were lucky only a smashed window.  

As with the adoption, we made the first phone call and we are being invited to a information evening. We should get the details soon. i need something to cheer me up.  

Well good luck to all and i hope to see the thread being used more often i need some where to rant now and again.  

Jenny


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## cupcake (Jan 3, 2006)

Hi Jenny 

I know what you mean when you say you sometimes think the world is against you.... so many things to deal at once with can wear at the spirit!

I have started to realise throughout the last couple of years that we have to embrace the challenges we face, as fearing them just makes it tougher all round.

Its a joke amongst friends that me & DH are like extreme sports adrenaline junkies, only enjoying life fully if it has big stressfull challenges!
We seem to aways have something going on that tests us to the limit... 

But we somehow find a way to survive, we have no choice!!

My DH had CVP+Rituximab with High Dose Steroids x6 in 2004 then x1 infusion of Zevalin in Jan 05 through a drug trial (Zevalin is a new treatment for BCell lymphomas - ie: Follicular). He is currently in remission and has a CT on Monday 9th..... Worried about it though......

We will find out about both DH remmission situation and his sperm recovery (if any) in Jan 06. Knowing our luck his sperm will have recovered, but he will also have to go back on treatment!  He has good sperm stored so we may just stick with that.

As we have had x3 failed IVF/FET treatments I worry about any "other" issues and we are discussing these with our consultant in January. 

It sometimes feels like a cruel joke that has gone wrong that we have to deal with so many problems. But we are blessed with friends and family whom although can never really understand what me & Dh are going through they genuinely try, they offer support and love in little ways which mean so much.

We love the opportunities we have to share time with the children of friends and family as they are a rich gift to us and very special.

It sounds like you and DH had a lucky escape! There are stupid people in this world... you were both very very lucky..... you must be due some more good luck as they say it comes in threes.......

I wish you and your Dh and all the other girls lots of love  

Will keep posting 

Love Chelle


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