# 44 and counting



## CC1 (Mar 18, 2006)

Hello to everyone, I'm new to this site and after posting in the new members catergory with my problem, I was directed to you guy's. Basically my probelm is that I have TTC for 6 years, , tests all show nothing wrong other than age is not on our side, couldn't afford fertility treatment, so last year we moved to a smaller house to start private treatment, but in Nov 05 stopped having monthly cycles, this was quite out of the blue, as I have always been as regular as clockwork. Thought we had done achieved it, only to find out that I might be going through the menopause, not 100% sure as different tests give differing results. Going back to the GP this week to have more blood tests, as still no cycle, although no other menopause symptoms. However she (my GP) has been very blunt and direct and suggests that at 44 I should try and come to terms with the fact that I won't have children as trying to find a clinic that would help us would be impossible. This has obviously broken our hearts. Is she right, would it be difficult to find a clinic, as the research I have done suggests 42 is the upper age limit, and any suggestions on DE treatment from a relative. Any information would really be appreciated. 

Love to all. Cheryl


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## suziegirl64 (Oct 31, 2005)

Hello Cheryl

Welcome to fertility friends. You'll get a lot of help and support here.

I'm not a doctor but it does sound as if DE is probably the best route for you. That doesn't mean you couldn't get pregnant with your own eggs but it's just that the chance of success is very small. I was told it was less than 7% with each cycle at my age. Like you, I have very limited funds and wanted to maximise my chance of having a baby with IVF.

Although most clinics have an upper age limit of around 42-44 for IVF with your own eggs, if you can supply your own donor, you shouldn't have those problems. You may already be aware that anonymous egg donors are in very short supply in this country so, if you are lucky enough to have a sister, cousin, friend, sister-in-law who's under 35 and willing to help, that is your best option here. The other option is to look abroad as there are a lot more donor eggs available. Have a look on the Abroadies thread and the Donor Egg thread for more info on this.

As you can see from my blurb below, my younger sister donated her eggs to us. She actually offered so I didn't need to ask. It's a truly remarkable thing to do for someone - such an act of love.

The process involves all parties having counselling at the clinic to ensure everyone is settled emotionally about everything. This is a legal requirement in the UK and we found it quite helpful even though we'd discussed all the issues fairly thoroughly beforehand. As well as this there are various blood tests and scans for both of you and of course semen analysis on your partner. There are various HFEA forms to complete and the hospital will carry out a "welfare of the child" check which involves them contacting your and your partner/husband's GPs to make sure there are no known concerns about your ability to be a good parent. (I found this to be a bl**dy cheek but it's the law!) Once everything is in place, the treatment can begin. Be prepared for the fact it will be several months from your first appointment with the clinic until the treatment starts. I had an unrealistic idea about this and found the waiting very frustrating.

Costs and success rates vary enormously and only you can make a decision about what clinic you choose. I'm at Guys hospital and their charges were around £3000 which includes all tests, scans, counselling, consultations etc. On top of this, the drugs for me and my sister came in at about £800. Extra costs for travelling to and from London for me, my partner and sis plus all the other extras involved (lunches etc) probably cost in excess of £350 over the whole treatment cycle. Several days/half days off work which need to be budgeted for if you're self employed or have to take the time off unpaid.

I wish you all the luck in the world for acheiving your dream 

Love Suzie xx


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## Lorri (Apr 17, 2005)

Hi Cheryl
I am not sure which clinics will accept over 40s or even over 42's, but I am at ARGC in London and I think they do. Their results are pretty good too. Success rates do dramatically decline after 40 and then progressively each year, so stats are not good at any clinic the older you are. ARGC do not do DE, but I believe the Lister, do, but the waiting lists I hear are quite long, but a lot of women  have shorter waiting times abroad.

My best advice would be to check out the HFEA site for details on clinics. Also, read as much as you can on getting your body fit for any kind of treatment, ie eating the right food, taking the right vitamins. You may also like to consider acupuncture. I have been having it for a few weeks now and it is very helpful for fertility and for menstrual cycles in general.  

There is loads of info on some of the other boards, which you may find helpful.

This is not an easy journey, but if you get the right result, I am sure it is all worth it. Good luck !

Lx


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## CC1 (Mar 18, 2006)

Thanks for the info guy's. found it very useful, and after much discussion today with hubby, we have decided to give it a go, as for us, not trying would be worse than trying and failing, no matter how hard the fight turns out to be. I have been doing some research with the help of the HFEA guidelines book and their website. I have sourced some clinics to contact on Monday and we will take it from there. Once again thanks for the advice, it means such a lot to know that even during your own struggles you still find time to give sound advice to others.

Lots of love, Cheryl


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## *Kim* (May 5, 2002)

Hi Cheryl

I had treatent at Barts and i am sure they treated women up to the age of 44/45.

Good luck and hope you are successful

Love Kimx x  x


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## mnick (Feb 18, 2006)

Hi Cheryl,

I am usually a "lurker" here  . I am 45, have a 6 year-old son (conceived naturally), but am a single mother so there hasn't been too much chance for me to get him a brother or sister, but recently I started what you might call some "last chance" research into the idea of DIUI or IVF with DE, so I have a few links that might be useful for you:

http://www.londonwomensclinic.com/index.html

http://www.thebridgecentre.co.uk/best2.htm

Now, you know what it is like when you have seen something on a site, but then can't find it.... well, looking quickly now I couldn't see the age requirements, but recently I noticed it was 46 or 47 years at these two centres (so you are a Spring Chicken for them  ).

Also, there is a list of ages for clinics here:

http://www.mothersover40.com/FertilityClinics.html

Then, as you will see here on the Treatment Overseas thread, there are plenty of clinics overseas and they mostly seem to accept patients up to 45 or even a bit more (and I was looking at those that accept singles, too, so there are some clinics out there!).

Of course, the cost is quite a lot higher  but going overseas does speed your treatment up, obviously.

Whatever you do, good luck and don't be put off by the gp. Okay, she is probably right about your chances of conceiving with your own eggs (though even that is not impossible), but I don't think she is correct about there being no clinics out there who would accept you. If you and your hubby are willing to give things a go and invest the money, you will find a clinic to help you.

Sending you lots and lots of babydust 

Marie

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.UK or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## CC1 (Mar 18, 2006)

Cheers, Marie, what an informed lady you are. You have all provided so much info for us, that has proved extremely usefull. Why didn't I find this site long ago. Feeling very positive about the future.

Thanks for all the info,

Love, Cheryl xx


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## longbaygirl (Aug 19, 2004)

I'm no expert on UK clinics, but I know from experience that going abroad can be significantly cheaper than the UK, even when you add flights/accomodation into it.

Good luck


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## sandee2002 (Jun 24, 2003)

Hy Longbay girl

did you go down the de route?


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## nuala (Jul 13, 2005)

Cheryl,

I was 44 when we sought help.  I found 3 clinics in London that would see me the rest wouldn't even give you an appointment if you were over 43!!

I went to the Lister and they were fab.  We did IVF twice last year but both ended in BFN's.  At our consultation in June we were told either DE (overseas is the quickset way to this Spain or South Africa depending on your colouring) or to try for our own miracle.  Two weeks later we had our first BFP but it was a chemical.  Now 2 months later I have got another BFP which was positive from 11dpo!!  It is very early and who knows what will happen BUT I have defied the stats to this point and hope I can continue.  If this doesn't stick we will do DE in SA as we are both blond and blue eyed.

This is what I did to get my BFP (this is my first ever pregnancy!!) at age 45 years and 4 months:

Accupuncture once or twice a month
Horrid CHinese Herbs - taking them 4 months
Yogas 2-3 times a week
Pilates once a week
Cut Caffiene: only 2 lattes a week
Drank Alcohol only on weekends
Used PreSeed when BDing around O

Wishing you every success on your journey.

Nuala


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