# Writing a letter to our donor



## rtsaintly (Oct 19, 2007)

Hi all,

I want to write a brief letter to our egg donor. We are going to Cape Town fertility clinic in January for DEIVF. I thought it would be easy to write about how happy we are that she is doing this for us, but everything sounds trite or somehow wrong! What have other people put in their letters, or if you havent done one but would - what would you write?

Thanks  

Rachel x


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## maybe-if (Aug 1, 2007)

I've been a donor and I haven't heard anything from my recipients via my clinic. I guess it does worry me a bit, that maybe they don't care or aren't grateful? I worry when I've read about that woman who was complaining because she was told to use donor eggs and got pregnant with them, when she wanted to try again with her own. She just sounded so ungrateful.

Being a donor isn't the easiest thing to do, either emotionally or physically, so the only thing that gets you through is that hopefully you are making someone else really happy.

I guess I understand they don't want to think about me, because they want to bond with their babies. (I've helped two women.) But that's the point, "their baby" - they have a baby. I'm still stuck sitting around waiting and waitin, still never been pregnant and still trying and hoping. I'm not bitter that they got pregnant, I'm really happy for them. But I guess it would be nice to know they are happy too.

I wouldn't worry about sounding trite, saying anything at all will be really appreciated. I guess that's what I am trying to say!


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## rtsaintly (Oct 19, 2007)

Ah, thank you for your response, thats really helped. We actually have thought alot about our donor, and we were a bit disappointed (though could understand why), that she doesnt want any photos etc if we are successful. We will be telling our child all about the way they were conceived and the fantastic woman that made it possible. 

I suppose some women are afraid to say thank you in case they offend or upset the donor? And some people just cant see past their own noses....

I hope that you get the happiness you so obviously deserve..it will come to you I am sure,

Thanks again for sharing that with me, it has given me an idea of what I want to say.

Rachel xxx


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