# Surrogacy General Chat



## MoonGazer

I just wondered if there were any other surrogate mums on here at the moment?

I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant with a little girl for my sister and brother in law  

I joined here back in 2013 I believe it was when we discovered my sister was going through the early menopause.  She was only around 35 at the time, they tried IVF themselves which sadly ended in miscarriage and then we tried IVF using my eggs which was unsuccessful.

We decided that surrogacy would be the best option.  We’d already had counselling and various tests done through the clinic so we opted to do it via home insemination.  It was all a bit weird and awkward but we just joked and had a laugh about it.

We were lucky enough that I got pregnant on the first month of trying.  We were all very relieved at the 12 week scan (done on Christmas eve so it was lovely to share the news with family over Christmas) to see everything was going well.  My sister wanted to find out the gender so at our 20 week scan we discovered I was carrying a little niece.

Is there any other surrogate ladies (or parents through surrogacy) on here?  Would love to hear your stories as I don’t actually know anyone else who has done this!  Happy to answer any questions from people who are thinking of using a surrogate or becoming a surrogate themselves and sharing my experience so far xx


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## missowen

Hi Moongazer,

I am preparing to become a surrogate for my friends. It's very early days, she has a misshapen uterus so can't carry but they don't have any other issues so we're having IVF. 

So kind of you to do that for your sister and what a strong bond you'll have with your niece


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## DaisyMaisy

I'm a parent of surrogate born twins. You're doing an amazing thing! Xxxx


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## MoonGazer

Thank you both for your replies.  Miss Owen best of luck with your surrogacy journey!

DaisyMaisy - Twins!!  How exciting for you xxx


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## Katie88

I carried twins just over a year ago.. would love to do it again but i've suffered too many health problems as a result of a difficult pregnancy

Congratulatios to you all, it feels amazing doesn't it 

X


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## Jarel

I'm surrogate for my friend and her hubby. this is our second go as first one failed and hopefully I'm 7 weeks pregnant now. We have our scan early next week so will know for definite then. I Seem to have all the usual symptoms, nausea really bad all day, heightened sense of smell, sore boobs none of which I had the first time round so hopefully that's a good sign! It's just awful having to wait so long to find out!


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## Jarel

Also I just wondered for those of you who've been pregnant before, did you find your pregnancies to be similar or totally different? I should say that I'm doing host surrogacy.


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## MoonGazer

Jarel I am finding this pregnancy harder work than previous (traditional surrogacy) but as my husband oh so kindly pointed out.... I am almost 7 years older this time lol.

I have had the same symptoms as with my boys, but worse.  The sickness, tiredness, aching etc has all been worse.  But I am carrying a girl this time and only ever boys previously so maybe that makes the difference.

How did your scan go?  Hope all is well x


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## renata32

i met family on internet ,total strangers! they become extended family with little  angel to remind us that faith and trust can make wishes come true !!


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## Jarel

Thanks  moongazer the scan went great I'm now 10 weeks plus 3 had another scan yesterday and saw it moving around which was lovely and very reassuring. 

I must admit my own pregnancies were 11 years and 6 years ago and I think I've forgotten half of what I went through at the time! I'm sure I didn't feel this tired though, I'm in bed by 8 every night at the mo, but sickness is starting to go which is a bonus. 

Do u mind me asking how other people have reacted to your pregnancy this time round? We've told family but I'm wondering how it will be when I'm showing and people starting asking me who don't know me that well? 

I'm finding it hard not saying anything because I was very open with my own pregnancies but my friend doesn't want to go public until after the next scan which is another 3 weeks away. I'm struggling to hide my symptoms whereas I suppose physically she is carrying on as normal with no one suspecting anything. I've already put on half a stone too so out buying maternity clothes at the weekend lol.


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## MoonGazer

Hi Jarel, so glad that your scan went well, great news!  I'm 29 weeks today and this little lady likes to kick the heck out of me haha.

I've only received one negative response and that has been FAR outweighed by positive responses.  I tell everyone that I am a surrogate.  When people see I am pregnant they say congratulation and it doesn't feel right to accept the congrats without explaining what we are doing.  The one negative I had was an eldery lady who said "oh I don't know how you can just give your baby away, I think it's terrible".  But I didn't take offense, she was no one I was close to so I explained that this was never "my" baby so it's not mine to give away.

Everyone else has been wonderful.  Most people think it's something amazing to do and are genuinely interested in the details about it.  Some people have actually cried, I had this twice both off ladies who had struggled with fertility problems themselves.  I'm sure you will get just the same kind of positive responses xx


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## Dimble

Hiya,

I'm a host surrogate for my Brother and his Wife, also carrying a niece like you Moongazer 

My surrogacy came about after my sister-in-law sadly had to have a hysterectomy due to cancer  I'd always had it my mind to offer to be a surrogate if they wanted to go down that route, and made the offer once I knew for sure that I'd completed my own family. They accepted, and thankfully the IVF was successful on the first attempt, and here we are, at 29wks now, all excitedly awaiting baby girl's arrival in July.

I've not had any negative reactions to what I'm doing thankfully, but even if I did, I don't think I'd be too bothered as I do think it can be difficult for some people to get their heads around. I do struggle with people telling me how amazing I am for doing it because to me I don't feel 'special' for doing this. To me it's a no brainer really, and if my body is capable of carrying a baby, why wouldn't I do it? I feel that it's my Brother and hos wife who are amazing ones for allowing me to do this for them, and I feel honoured that they trust me with their precious cargo.

xx


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## MoonGazer

Dimble I feel the same!  The majority of people I tell are blown away by what I am doing and tell me how amazing I am, but I don't feel amazing!  I never considered not doing it.  Even with my own eggs, I've never considered this my baby.  It's always been their baby.


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## ivf24

Moongazer and jarel you are amazing and give your family and other IPs so much faith and hope glad your pregnancies are progressing well our surrogate is 25 weeks are every time we Skype and get pictures she is bloomie and feeling well and keeps talking to our baby saying she is nanny carrying and grow strong to meet mummy and daddy.


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## ivf24

Dimple just read your post with a wee tear of joy what a truly lovely sister you are.  After everything your sister in law endured you are giving her hope and joy once more and most important the gift of life 😇


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## Jarel

I'm now 17 weeks and we've started telling people and I also feel really awkward being told I'm amazing for doing this because I feel just like you dimble in that it just seems like the totally natural thing to do. When we had a midwife appointment last week the midwife said she thought it was amazing what I was doing, in front of me and my friend. Afterwards I told my friend that it made me feel awkward and she said she also felt awkward because she felt like the midwife was pointing it out to her as if she should recognise what I'm doing, which obviously she already does!


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## MoonGazer

Hey, how are you other surro mums doing?  I'm now just over a week in to my maternity leave and soooooo glad of the break!  I'm 38 weeks today and we have our C-section booked in for a week on Wednesday, the 24th!  I had C-sections with my boys so we knew this would be a section too.

Nervous and excited.  Not looking forward to the operation but am so excited for my sister and brother in law.....and if I am honest.... I'll be glad to get my body back once recovered.  Hope that doesn't sound too selfish..... I just feel like my own boys are missing out on doing things with their mummy at the moment as I am quite big and uncomfortable and get tired quite easily.  It will be nice to get my own little family back to normal, plus my husband has been amazing through all this but he's so nervous about me having a 3rd section and worrying that I will go in to labour while he is at work and I am on my own.

How is everyone else getting on?


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## Jarel

Hi Moongazer, bet you're pleased to have some time off now! I'm 22 weeks today and have been feeling baby move for about 5 weeks now which has been lovely although my friend is yet to feel it, so fingers crossed that will be soon. I know exactly how you feel when you say about looking forward to getting your body back! I'm really missing exercise as I was really active before falling pregnant and as a family we used to go cycling a lot, so I'm definitely looking forward to being able to do things with my own kids again! 

I just wondered how the decision for a C section came about if you don't mind me asking? It's just our consultant has stated that she doesn't want the pregnancy to go over 40 weeks (although she admitted she had no evidence or reason for this other than she thought it safer for baby), but this worries me as both my own children were born at 41+3 and 42 weeks so I'm convinced this one will just come late too. I'm worried they'll start me off early and I'll have to have emergency section or something which would be my worst nightmare. I've asked for the birth to be as natural as possible as I'm so squeamish with operations and needles! The consultant we had has now left and we will be getting a new one who may have a totally different opinion, but I just wondered if anyone else had been told the same about not going over 40 weeks for a surrogate pregnancy?


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## MoonGazer

I think given your previous pregnancies both went past term it might just be that you generally cook your babies a little longer.  I find it strange that just because this is a surrogate pregnancy they would want to induce you if you go past 40 weeks.  If there we no complications with your previous pregnancies going over I wouldn't want to mess, I would just want to wait like with your previous pregnancies.

For me, I had an emergency c section with my first boy.  I wanted a VBAC with my second but being induced increases the chance of uterine rupture and I got to 42 weeks and he hadn't arrived on his own and I was showing some protein in my urine and my blood pressure was raised so opted for an elective C-section.

The consultant did say that if I wanted to try again for a natural birth this time I could, but I think I prefer the idea of a section.  It might sound weird but I didn't want the first child that I naturally push out, to be a child that wasn't mine.  If that makes sense?


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## Amyx

Hi everyone,
I had some news the other day that there wasn't enough hormones in my ovaries which meant there wouldn't be any eggs in my ovaries. I'm only 21 and I cannot have my own children nor do I have any children at the moment.
I have been told that surrogacy is my only route really if I wants a new born baby and I was just asking for advice from men and women.

I have two sisters who are willing to help but I'm a bit undecided as I wouldn't want to put them through the pain. The doctor said we would have to put one of their eggs into to other as their body can get attached to the baby if it was their own egg. I know I'm only young but I'm trying to find my options and to plan things really before I make a decision but does anyone know how much this would cost? 
I got rejected for IVF a couple of months ago.. I can't carry my own children either so I was a little shocked when this letter came through but my fertility doctor told me it was IVF for surrogacy. So there's another thing on top aswell.

I was just wondering if anyone has had a surrogate before and how much it would cost altogether?
My family have offered to help with whatever cost but I don't want to put it all on them so I would want to try and fund it all myself instead of asking all of them.

He also said it would take about 2 years before I could even get a surrogate as we need to go through everything before we do it. I haven't got a boyfriend or anything yet but as I said before, I just want to look at my options before going into anything with my sisters.

Thank you in advance for any information!


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## bombsh3ll

Hi Amyx,

Sorry that you're dealing with so much at such a young age   

That is an amazing offer on the part of your sisters & I think that sometimes life has a way of evening itself out. Most children are created with the love of two people, yours would be born out of love not just between yourself and your husband/partner, but also out of your sister(s) for you.

I just wanted to point out that your sisters wouldn't have to do IVF if you did traditional surrogacy with artificial insemination. This would be free, safe, painless, private & you would not be dependent on a clinic.

I don't buy it that the egg donating sister can't be the one that carries - traditional surrogacy has been done for thousands of years & usually works well providing all parties are well informed, psychologically stable & not being exploited financially - however the clinic doesn't stand to make any money from this.

My little girl was from a donor egg & I couldn't love her more or be any more attached to her, equally a surro carrying a child for someone else has a different mindset from the start. Also they don't feel the longing for a baby that we do because they can have children of their own.

Best of luck for your future journey,

B xxx


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## EJJB

I agree you could do straight surrogacy if your' sister was able to accept that the baby was yours' not hers. Or you could do Host, one sister donating, the other carrying. You cannot do surrogacy as a single person though as one of the couple must be biologically related to the child, so your' partner would need to be the biological Dad.
If your' sister is your surrogate I would imagine her expenses may well be lower than normal, especially if friends and family were able to help out with child care etc.  If you meet a surrogate through other means expenses could go into double figures, not including IVF.
It is true it could take you a while to find a surrogate too. We met out surrogate through Surrogacy Uk where they promote a friendship first model www.surrogacyuk.org . Please feel free to pop over and ask as many questions as you like

21 is very young to take in all this and I imagine you are still in shock from your own diagnosis. 
Please take some time to consider all your options. Do lots of research and decide what is right for you and your' family. 
Love 
EJJB
x


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## MoonGazer

Hi hun,  I've just popped on here to post about giving birth to my niece as a surrogate for my sister and just had to reply to your post!

My sister was unable to have her own children and I offered to be a surrogate.  As I was using my own eggs there was no need to use a clinic and we used artificial insemination.  However we went through IVF last year and I found that beneficial as we knew going in to the artificial insemination that neither me or my brother in law were carry and sexually transmitted diseases and that neither of us were carriers of any genetic disorders that we would not have been aware of.  Even if you went down the artificial insemination route I think it would be a good idea to pay for these kind of checks just to be safe.

Although it's early days (she was born on Wednesday!) I have had no problem in separating my feelings for my niece.  All throughout the pregnancy I have never thought of her as mine and when my sister took her from the hospital I was just so happy for her and my brother in law getting to take their daughter home for the first time after such a long journey of trying to become parents.

It's very early days for you but I think you are doing the right thing planning ahead and knowing what route you would like to take.

If you have any questions or want to chat please feel free to message me xx


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## Minow

I'm interested in reading some case studies (for want of a better term) from both the intended parent and surrogate mother (and family) on both types of surrogacy, host and straight or traditional.
We want to make the right decisions and think that the more information we can have and the better informed we are the easier it will be.


I know that straight surrogacy is less common these days but I'm hoping to read some stories about the emotional aspects of this on all involved. If using your own eggs is not an option then it seems to me there are two things to weigh up


1. The costs involved in using donor egg and a surrogate as most clinics seem to charge rather a lot, and that's without taking into account the expenses of your surrogate.
2. The emotional costs to both parties if the surrogate uses her own eggs.


The term headless chicken does seem to fit my husband and I right now so if anyone would be prepared to share their stories with us we'd be very grateful.

Much thanks to you all.

Minow xx


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## Happy Mummy

Hi Minow,

We are using a surrogate , with donor eggs. We would never have used the eggs of the surrogate. It is not recommended by any clinics. In the states where we are doing it, it is not allowed. 
It is of course more expensive, and longer to get there if a donor is involved, but safer , in terms of the emotional part , the surrogate is less likely to change her mind , and also you form a bond with your surrogate, we thought better to keep it separate. 
Lots of good vibes your way, whatever you decide, 
Future Mummy


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## Minow

Thank you for your reply Future Mummy. It's good to get different people's points of view. 

We all obviously have to do what's right for us but it certainly helps to hear other people's thoughts by giving us things to think about.


Good luck to you in your journey and I hope you will soon be able to change your name by loosing the Future and replacing with I am a!   


Mxx


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## MoonGazer

I've just given birth a week ago as a straight surrogate for my sister.  It's still early days but so far I haven't had any issues on the emotional side of things whatsoever.

Honestly I am not sure I could have done it for someone who was not family though.  I think what makes it easier is knowing that I will still be a part of Phoebe's life.  I will still see her grow and watch her get bigger.  

Feel free to message me if you have any particular questions x


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## Happy Mummy

Thanks Minow. We are getting there! 2 little ones kicking ass   I need to change my name indeed. Been future mummy for so long, it will be strange to change it, but so happy to!


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## Anny1970

I want to share my story. Our surrogacy is on the 30th week of pregnancy now. We used donor egg. We totally understand that anyway it will be psychologically difficult for our surrogate mother to give the child to us even if she understands that the child is not genetically related to her. But imagine the situation when the child is genetically related to the surrogate. I can`t even imagine how is it possible to live your own life knowing that somewhere lives a baby and this baby is yours. It is a part of you and you don`t know anything about he/she. I think it is unbearable. One more important point is legislation. It is important to take all the details into consideration. In our situation we didn`t even have to choose. According to legislation we had to use donor eggs. Before choosing any types of surrogacy try to think and compare all pluses and minuses. Moreover legislation plays very important role. Good luck!!!


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## LP01

Hi guys, 


Just we womdered where is the best place to meet surrogates? I don't know where to start?


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## DaisyMaisy

Hi. There are three uk organisations- surrogacy uk, COTS and brilliant beginnings. There's also a ******** group, although I'm not sure how you go about finding it/ joining it. Xxx


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## Blondie71

There was an interesting debate on sunday morning live (aired this morning at 10am) and sure you can find it on iplayer it talked about relevant issues and had members from the organisations daisymaisy mentioned ie brilliant beginnings and uk surrogacy x


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## LP01

Thankyou both. Yes I've been looking at these websites and saw the TV this morning. Just trying to make sure I'm looking at all the right places. The contact I emailed at cots said they literally have 2-3 surrogates available....that is so low, especially when your paying £850 for the year. I know it must change weekly but that doesn't sound like a good start. 

Wonder what the ******** page is...anyone know? 

xxx


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## Blondie71

only lady I know on here who's just had twins and goes by the username: fionainwelwyngardencity maybe she has documented her journey on here?? and she may have details to help you and she's a lovely person out but other than that I have no clue sorry


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## DaisyMaisy

Have you considered looking at international surrogacy? Xxx


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## LP01

Thanks guys, I'll look into that and see if she has a story, no haven't looked into international surrogacy, sounds complicated and again hard to know who to trust esp if you can't meet them much. 

Such a tough challenging journey.


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## DaisyMaisy

We did surrogacy in Ukraine. Can highly recommend the clinic if you want to have a quick look. Xxxx


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## LP01

Thank you, I think we may have decided to opt out of surrogacy. After thinking about it I'm not sure I can handle another round of IVF where the outcome could still be negative, plus all the extra complications and money. If I was to do it again I would try myself again but think we have even gone past that point. 

We are trying to be reasonable but I need to have some happy times in my life and for the last 6 years things have been so tough and un happy struggling with fertiltiy. I need something where we know 100% we will defiantley be able to start a family so I think adoption is our only way. 

Thanks for your comments and advice though and good luck to everyone with getting your babies you so deserve. 

xxx


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## MaryGreen

We are currently considering the help of http://ivf-sunrise.net, they have a huge database of surrogate mothers and donors who are from Ukraine or Thailand.

/links


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## ♥Saila♥

How much is surrogacy in the Ukraine?

I worry about the legalities of bringing my child home.

Saila x


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## DaisyMaisy

Feel free to pm me. Happy to answer any questions. Xxx


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## renata32

hello i found my ip's on this site ; findsurrogatemother ,my first couple i met on surrogatefinder.com . i go indy, coz if you really click with ip's you can do your own contracts and any information get from internet ... well maybe i am wrong but it works for me for the second time around ... good luck and dont give up its a bumpy road ...


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## renata32

i did ivf in Cz clinic , i need to register with GP, do i need to tell GP that is a surrogacy or i just give that information to my midwife ?or i just go as a normal pregnancy ? thank you


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## Katie88

I had twins 18 months ago and im thinking about doing it again x


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## lolly1121

We are currently looking for a host surrogate, I am looking at joining surrogacy uk. Can anyone advise on how to meet independent surrogates? 

Thanks
J x


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## spaceman1950

Hi we are an older couple and are looking into surrogacy.  We have registered with one surrogacy website but we arent at all familiar with the process. would anyone be kind enough to walk us through how it works and any possible options.  i will no doubt have some follow up questions. Many Thanks. Tony and Sandra


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## Linzxxxx

Hi ladies
After many failed DEIVF cycles, we have decided to use surrogacy. My sister has kindly offered to be my 'oven' (cant thank her enough) however, me and DH have spoken about whos egg to use and have decided that it would better all round if we went with a strangers egg.
The question i have is...does anyone know if we can do this? Im trying to find prices in the UK so that we can start saving - but no price list i have found or website with information gives this option.
Does anyone have any rough ideas at a cost im looking at?
Im going to ring round a few clinics tomoro, but im that excited today that i thought that i would ask the real people in the know lol
Any experiences or advice anyone can give me would be greatly appreciated
Much love
Linz xxxx


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## Helena88

Hi everybody, I came across FF as I have been researching the minefield of infertility & Surrogacy.  

Keeping it short (sorry, not easy in my case), my husband & I started trying for a child straight after our wedding in 2000 and after trying for 2 years with no success decided to investigate. I got diagnosed with grade 4 endometriosis in 2002 and went onto to have 4 laparoscopies in order to try and improve our chances of conceiving a child.  Finally in 2006 our gorgeous daughter was born using IVF after 3 attempts.  A year later we immediately started to try again for a sibling. I was diagnosed with a very low ovarian reserve (early menopause) and my endometriosis returned with a vengeance and I was advised my only option was donor eggs.  After much soul searching we decided to move forward and commenced IVF with donor eggs in Cyprus.  Each time we got pregnant and each time I lost at various stages,  8 times in total.  We then went on to try in the Czech Republic 2 further times.  I got pregnant on the first attempt with them and again lost. We were heartbroken and baffled, my endometrium was great according to the doctors but nobody could understand why I couldn't carry again.  I believe it could be either adenomyosis which has developed since my daughter was born or elevated natural killer cells.  

We are now at the point after 8 years of either giving up or venturing onto the last possible option for us and that is surrogacy. I have spent some time researching the web and I can't tell you the amount of times I have talked myself into it and felt very positive and then when I think we have a plan find another big hurdle and I'm back to square one again.  It is all so stressful!

Our preference would be to find a surrogate in the UK using donor eggs, our second option at the moment is the Ukraine but we are worried about the process and the length of time for getting the necessary paperwork for our child to return to the UK  and also the political unrest.

If anybody has done surrogacy in the Ukraine who are from the UK, please, please could you share your story with me.  Right now, we feel very alone in this and could really do with any support from people in the same or similar place as us.  

We are very blessed to have a gorgeous daughter whom I cherish everyday.  We have so much love for her and want so much to give her a sibling.  I adore being a Mum and I wish sometimes I could suppress the strong desire I have for a second but it is so strong.

Many thanks to those who have read my post  . . . next one will be shorter I promise.

Helena xx


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## MoonGazer

Hi Linz, I'm sorry I have no idea about price but just wanted to say hi and wish you the best of luck.

I gave birth in June to my beautiful niece Phoebe for my sister and brother in law.  I used my own eggs so as surrogate too we just used at home artificial insemination (although had many heath / STD / blood checks etc done when I donated eggs for my sisters IVF the year before which sadly didn't work).

I know it's a bit different to your situation but if you (or maybe your sister to hear from another surrogate) have any questions just let me know xx


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## Katie88

Hi

I am looking to be a GS for a second time.

I was wondering if anyone could advise me of where IP'scan find donor eggs?
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance
X


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## Reptile Smile

Hi all,

My wife and I are intended parents, and based in the UK. We want to start as soon as we reasonably can but are kind of over-whelmed with knowing where to start. At the moment, it's easy enough to find glossy websites, but much harder to find out actual experience and get recommendations. Accordingly, if anyone's able to say, "We did this..." It would be massively useful to hear your experience.

Really, we want to begin by nailing down which country to begin in. We'd favour an agency approach who coordinate everything for us (we need egg donation and surrogacy) but are not exclusively sold on that. If possible, a target cost do something like $45k or € seems reasonable but we could stretch outside this if necessary. The way I see it, we have four main options at the moment:

Ukraine: several clinics.  One wonderful member here has been in contact to tell me her experience, which counts for a lot. Right budget. Headache after birth - probably necessitates a three-four month stay on a three month visa. Conflict in east of country.

Mexico: some say an emerging area and cannot get to the bottom of how established surrogacy is. Right cost. Easy passport access for child after makes return easy. Don't know how easy to find a Caucasian egg donor but isn't absolutely essential anyway.

Then the following two were suggestions from Janine Oakman - but haven't been able to make contact anyway with her so don't know how importance to attach to her advice at the moment (will of course update if I can make contact, but haven't heard anything for a few days).

Cyprus: convenient from uk. Requires coordinator for surrogacy as Cypriot law won't allow clinic. Her figures make it look very cheap. Small island = not many donors or surrogates? Guessing...

Greece: convenient to get to. I had understood it had to be approved by a court which does sound like an enormous faff, and it seems to me there are other easier options? But seems cheap, from the figures on reproductive-solutions.com

Those we have written off: Poland (can't get a straight answer form anyone), U.K. (Huge waiting lists for everything), US (donkey-chokingly expensive), India (doesn't seem to offer anything that isn't available cheaper and closer), Russia (doesn't offer anything not available in Ukraine)

I don't know whether we should be spending more time finding our own donor and surrogate, but wouldn't know how to do that outside states like findsurrogatemother.com (how useful/legit is that site?) or whether we can reasonably rely on the clinic itself to act as an agency. If I've got anything wrong, or should be considering somewhere else, or have written off somewhere I shouldn't, please do let me know!

Also, please do, if you can, let me know your experiences. Personal experience is so so important to hear in helping us understand a best way forwards.

Thanks so much.

/links


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## MandyPandy

You haven't mentioned where you're based. I assume the UK? 

The woman (now one of my closest friends) who was going to be my surrogate is currently pregnant for a couple who used an egg donor in Prague. 

I believe it was relatively straightforward and not prohibitively expensive. I can find out more about the processes and the clinic for you if you'd like?

I would say that your best bet would be to find a surrogate here and take her with you to your chosen clinic for transfer then all come back to the UK for the pregnancy and birth.

Personally, I avoided COTS and SUK as I didn't like the whole 'popularity contest' side of it. They also did nothing for the fee they charged that I couldn't do myself without too much fuss. I joined one or two ** groups and met a surrogate that way.

I also ruled out Cyprus as I found the whole agency thing really dodgy. A lot of what they were charging for didn't add up.


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## Reptile Smile

Sorry - what a muppet I am..!  Yes, based in UK. Will edit the original post to reflect this.

That's so much for your reply. I hadn't thought about that route at all. If you would be able to find out more from your friend, I would be so so grateful. Thank you so much.

I wonder how it compares cost-wise? I might see if can make up a comparative sheet.

Your input is very much appreciated a thanks again for taking the time to reply. And huge congrats on your success!


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## MandyPandy

No worries at all.   I'll give her a call.   I know it won't have been too expensive (comparatively) as her present IP's don't have a great deal of money.  In addition to the clinic fees, a UK surrogate will generally ask for anywhere between £10k and £15k in expenses (depending on whether there are multiples or not, whether they have a job that they need to be recompensed for, etc.).

Other than that, you'll be paying the standard costs for a donor cycle at whichever clinic you choose plus the surrogate's costs for any testing/treatment and travel plus health insurance, life insurance, legal fees (for you and her.  You'll need to get a will drawn up for the surrogate to protect both you and her stating what happens to the child in the event of her death prior to the paternal order being granted). 

We'd set aside £15 - £20k in total but I was going to be providing the eggs myself and having treatment at a UK clinic (Fertility and Gynaecology Academy).  My surrogate also lives only an hour away by car.

Anyway, I'll find out what I can for you (I'm pretty sure they went to Reprofit) and come back to you.   In the meantime, you might want to scope out some ** groups.  There are closed groups but once you've posted in those, you might be invited to the secret groups. 

...and thanks for the congrats.


----------



## Katie88

Hello. I am looking for my next surrogate journey but don't travel outside the UK. My first and only surrogacy experience was all local so i can't advise regarding abroad i'm afraid.
What i can recommend though is using no agency and doing it all totally independent. We did it that way and to be honest i think agencys are a total con. X

(Mandypandy! Long time no speak... How are you?) X


----------



## taffylass

Hello, I'm also an intended parent and I met my surrogate through a friend on a surrogacy group on ********, she pointed me in the direction of a surrogacy website which is where I met my surrogate.  I'm now expecting a baby in March after a long journey with a few failed IVF attempts.  We decided to match independently instead of using an agency and we used a UK IVF clinic.  If you are using donor eggs, there is also the option of doing traditional surrogacy where you do artificial insemination and use the surrogate's egg, which is cheaper but some people prefer the anonymity of donor eggs.  Please feel free to PM me about anything, I know how daunting it is at the beginning.

Katie88 your surrogacy twins are absolutely gorgeous! x


----------



## MandyPandy

Hellooooo Katie!  I'm all good. How are you?  The twins are looking gorgeous.  xxx


----------



## babycherub

Hi,
I'm an intended parent through cancer - I've had a total hysterectomy but was lucky enough to be able to do IVF before the surgery and we have 7 embryos on ice   that we hope to one day be able to grow into a much longed for baby. We are based in South Wales and would love to chat to others in a similar situation and with surrogates to get all the information we can about the process.
Lots of Love


----------



## Mrao12

Hi all,

I'm a 25 gay male from Notts / Derby area. I've been looking into surrogacy for around a year now... I'm finding it so hard to find anything & maybe someone could point me in the right direction. 

I'm looking for a female for surrogacy or a lesbian couple who would like sperm donation aswell as helping me with surrogacy. 

I feel I'm at the right age for this as I would love to see a child grow up & be there for them. I also have a step son. 

Any help would be appreciated! I don't know where else to turn! 

Thanks for reading x


----------



## Lovebirds2015

Hi,
I'm Elaine dear husband Ivor married six weeks ago, I have two children from ivf from previous marriage, due to having full hysterectomy in 2012 due to problems, now embarking on surrogacy, we have a private match with a wonderful woman in Wales and starting in January cycle permitting. 
Just finding my feet around here and see how we go.
Thanks 
Elaine


----------



## thesnowman

Hi all, my hubby and I have been looking for a TS. We apparently don't meet COTS or SUK criteria for help as we already have children, we have been members of various ******** groups but have had no luck in finding that special someone. Is there anywhere else reliable to look? Any advice/help would be much appreciated. Many Thanks


----------



## ruby100

Hi,

I'm new here and seriously considering surrogacy as I have Stage 4 endo and serious medical conditions and i have been warned very seriously that i will die if I fall pregnant through IVF.

I did have a possible UK surrogate and we spoke for ages, met in person then she pulled out as she said her partner was against her doing it again :-( I was devastated.

I've contacted Brilliant Beginnings but they're closed to IPs at the moment as they don't have enough surrogates and I've heard similar issues with COTS.  So. . . . I started considering international surrogacy.  I contacted a Ukrainian provider who has quoted me £43,500 and I'm stunned.  I'm not wealthy and there's no way I can afford this.  

Can anybody advise on International options or UK options that are a little bit more affordable please?

Thanks

Ruby xxx


----------



## EJJB

Try SUK http://www.surrogacyuk.org/
They have a steady stream of surrogates joining mostly host however and a healthy ratio of IP's to Surrogates.
We met our surrogate through SUK and she's 9 now.
Good Luck.
Love 
EJJB
x 

/links


----------



## EJJB

Hi,
SUK do accept couples who already have children, it is just that some surrogates prefer to work with childless couples so you may wait longer to meet someone. Also there are fewer TS than Host Surrogates.
We had our daughter with a surrogate we met through SUK and she's a straight baby.
Good Luck.
Love 
EJJB
x


----------



## ivf24

Hi Ruby used Intersono in Ukraine they were excellent worked first time have beautiful Son India have announced it is now illegal for foreigners to embark on Surrogacy.


----------



## LP01

Hi Elaine,

Congratulations on finding your match. Can I ask how you found her? 

xxx


----------



## LP01

Hi guys,

Well since our last IVF in June we have been going round in circles to try and decide whats the best descion for us. 
We are thinking about starting in January another round of IVF. We have always had good eggs and embryos from our cycles and then figure if it doesn't work, this is it, that would be our last time but hopefully we can freeze one or two and then look into surrogacy. We are 40 and 41 and feel maybe we just need a younger womb. 

Any advice?


----------



## luski

After almost 18 yrs of TCC  trying clomid IVF applying 2 adopt but getting turned down as I have a form of arthritis & private surrogacy losing r savings & home after being falsely told we were expecting 5/6 yrs ago we feel we r in a place emotionally 2 try again sadly never bin able 2 get the finances bk so was wondering wot r the average fees 4 surrogacy these days need a figure in mind 2 c if it's possible 

Last chance saloon 4 us


----------



## Anny1970

Hi!!! I had surrogacy in biotexcom, Ukraine. According to the legislation the couple must be officially married. Moreover I needed a medical reason to start surrogacy. My doctor just gave me a medical report that pregnancy is not recommended to me because of my health condition. I don`t know which clinic you contacted… But we paid 29900 euro. The price for the package covered everything we needed. I was even surprised that the legal support was also included. Even after coming back to the UK our manager is in touch with us. Moreover I liked Ukrainian donors. They are totally European. Being honest they are really beautiful. And it is really great for the ladies like me. I mean those women who need to use an egg donor. I think that this is a good idea to go for surrogacy to Ukraine.


----------



## Anny1970

Hi!!! I will be happy to help you. We experienced surrogacy. We had the process in Ukraine. By the way, you noticed that you are quite an old couple. There is no age limits. Moreover their donors are young and beautiful. They are totally European. We are from the UK. We had no difficulties at all. Firstly we were afraid because of the language. But our manager knows English perfectly. It was really easy to understand her. She was our connection with the doctor and with the medical stuff. I must admit that the price was really affordable. We had unlimited number of attempts. What is about your husband`s health condition? He must be genetically related to the child. We had to perform a DNA test to prove that at least one parent is genetically related to the child. Feel free to PM me!!!


----------



## BabyBaby1234

hi ladies, I'm looking into the surrogacy as an option for us for next year! It's such a mine field of information to et through and feeing very lot   

Any chance anyone could recommend a clinic I can get in touch with. I lost my baby girl through a mismanaged delivery 3 years ago and now I cannot seem to hold a pregnancy due to immune issues. 
I haven't put it all down on my signature because I don't want every one commenting on it . But, I now feel I need to take action and look at gestational surrogacy.


----------



## poobear

Lovebirds2015 good luck on your journey.

LP01 I think going on all the surrogate sights and looking who are surrogates. Then just start chatting like you would a friend. If it takes off surrogate might offer to help you. Just be yourself. You will make loads of friends too.


----------



## Susieque44

Hi Babybaby1234

I used Care Nottingham, I have heard mixed feedback with regards to Care but l can honestly say we had a amazing experience. My treatment was managed via the Medical Director and l was on the phone nearly every day. I never felt that anything was too much trouble. My surro lives in the same town so we went to every appointment together it was truly a amazing experience. Birthing hospital (peterborough) was fab and completely ready to accept surro births, my surro was discharged the day after birth and my hubbie and l stayed in for another week with our twins. Good luck to you xxxxx


----------



## Michalek Tereza

Hello girls. I understand your concerns very well because i have been through the same just year ago. I have one child beautiful daughter she is 8 now, but i always wanted more. Unfortunately 2 years ago I've been diagnosed with premature menopause, i know we should of think about second child earlier, but who would know that it will happen. So we decided to go for surrogate program (i still could use my eggs). We spend quite a wile till we found the clinic that meets all our requirements but after i send them email and call (many times lol) i got all answers and an exact plan what to do next. So we went to Ukraine (we choose Ukraine because of very good reviews and statistics because they have variety of contracts, guarantees, because of loyal law conditions, reasonable prices). Soon thanks to the doctors we got our twin boys. 
So what i want to say is never give up! good luck


----------



## Saska

hello everyone

We are looking to find a host surrogate  - after lots of failed cycle and 5 miscarriages, the clinic has said my immune system is uncontrollable!!! I know people recommend surrogacy groups on social media as a good place to start, but what does that actually mean? I am a dinosaur when it comes to social media...no idea where to look. Does this mean ******** or something else?


----------



## Cloudy

Saskia - there is a sticky link at the top of the Surrogacy area for Surrogacy UK that has information and advice: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=53292.0

Good luck xxx


----------



## LouGhevaert

Hi

Very best of luck with your journey and all the very best for 2016. 

Louisa


----------



## Katie88

Congratulations. Enjoy every minute. It is amazing x


----------



## mrsww

Does anyone have any research papers as to why a 30 year old surrogate would need to be induced because of the baby been conceived of a 42 year woman?

Surrogate has otherwise had a healthy pregnancy but consultant is saying induce because eggs came from 42 year old woman.


----------



## Tincancat

The placenta tends to fail if older ladies go beyond term with own eggs.  Often it's not noticed until too late, anything over 37 weeks is classed as term, so perhaps they are airing on side of caution which can only be a good thing? 
TCCx


----------



## mrsww

That's what I thought but I can't find any actual papers. Do you think individual clinics keep results.


----------



## Tincancat

I don't think individual clinics keep results of something like this.  However it does seem to be common knowledge after birth that a placenta from overdue babies and those born to older woman even not overdue are gritty and show signs of failure.
TCCx


----------



## scottsmrs

Hi all,  hubby and I have been trying to get pregnant with the help of surrogates for 3 years now.  1st surrogate got pregnant with our baby, miscarried at 9 weeks and then got pregnant by her partner whilst waiting for her cycle to get back to normal.  2nd surrogate took a load of money and did nothing!  3rd surrogate is absolutely lovely but at the age of now 42 and the fact we've been trying for a year we're all thinking its time to end this journey.  But what to do next??  Do we go through the whole process of trying to find another surrogate or do we accept that maybe its just not meant to be??  Help??


----------



## annieC2

Hey scottsmrs I'm so sorry to hear about your failures. I think you should not give up!
I don't believe in destiny, I think it will happen for you and your partner one day, you are trying so hard.
Where do you live? How did you find your surrogate mothers? 
From all my heart i wish you good luck no matter what are you going to choose x

Annie


----------



## RW00000

Anny1970 said:


> Hi!!! I had surrogacy in biotexcom, Ukraine. According to the legislation the couple must be officially married. Moreover I needed a medical reason to start surrogacy. My doctor just gave me a medical report that pregnancy is not recommended to me because of my health condition. I don`t know which clinic you contacted&#8230; But we paid 29900 euro. The price for the package covered everything we needed. I was even surprised that the legal support was also included. Even after coming back to the UK our manager is in touch with us. Moreover I liked Ukrainian donors. They are totally European. Being honest they are really beautiful. And it is really great for the ladies like me. I mean those women who need to use an egg donor. I think that this is a good idea to go for surrogacy to Ukraine.


Dear Anny1970, I've had a cervical cancer in 2009, so that I have to remove my uterus completely to avoid spread of the cancer. I wasn't able to face it for half a decade. Now I've heard about the surrogates, and hoping its not too late!!!(I'm 34 now, married 8 years). I've noticed many comments on Biotexcom Ukraine as well, and it sounds quite good, but I'd like to know that when you visit, is there already a waiting list there? I'm just worried that I have to be hung up on the list and wait for ages for them to get a surrogate mother for me. Plus, any other suggestion about their success rate and your own experience? Many thanks!!!xoxo


----------



## MacMoo

Lovelady, what a fab story, after all your sadness and your hubby's illness. I really hope he has fully recovered from this awful disease - Well done to you for having two beautiful twins and best of luck for your third child - Can I ask please, which clinic you used in the Ukraine? Do we have to be married and is there an age restriction on surrogacy? Thank you!! xx


----------



## puffinpie

Well we've had a bugger of a time with this baby making business and have been told to stop by our miscarriage specialist.
We are in the process of getting to know a lovely surrogate and after chatting back and foward are meeting this weekend.
I am so nervous but excited.
It will be traditional surrogacy.
Do any of you have any words of wisdom or any important questions we should ask?
It is very overwhelming obviously.
I am just so stunned and absolutely in awe of any woman who can give this gift to another family.
Xx


----------



## staceysm

Hi,

From what I can remember you have children from a previous relationship don't you?  How does your partner feel?  It's really down to the two of you to decide really.  

I wish you all the best.

X


----------



## Adojay

Hi everyone, this is my first time on this wonderful forum so please easy on me  . I have spend a great deal of time reading several moving posts on the forum. From what I have read, I believe we have made the right decision. My wife and I have now decided to go the surrogacy route. After years of miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies we have now decided to give surrogacy our all. We have a lovely lad, 9 years but want to add to the family. We are now on the look out for surrogate mothers in the UK. People have suggested SUK and COTS but we are looking at independent option. We have told friends and family to help spread the word for us, and hopefully we will be able to be united with a kind surrogate. 

As am new in it, are there anything I should be aware/beware of? I appreciate loads may have asked the same questions but would appreciate your kind responses.

Kind regards,

Adojay


----------



## duffy7

Hi, 
Sorry to hear of your heartbreaking past. 

I have an 18month daughter via surrogacy so it can hsppen! 
Our surrogate was a family member so I can't help advise on how to find one. 

There are ******** groups which are great for info and support. 

Good luck


----------



## duffy7

Hi, 
Sorry to hear of your heartbreaking past. 

I have an 18month daughter via surrogacy so it can hsppen! 
Our surrogate was a family member so I can't help advise on how to find one. 

There are ******** groups which are great for info and support. 

Good luck


----------



## duffy7

Congrats on matching with a lovely surrogate! Fingers crossed tugs is the beginning of the journey to meet your bubba. 

X


----------



## Adojay

duffy7 said:


> Hi,
> Sorry to hear of your heartbreaking past.
> 
> I have an 18month daughter via surrogacy so it can hsppen!
> Our surrogate was a family member so I can't help advise on how to find one.
> 
> There are social media groups which are great for info and support.
> 
> Good luck


Thanks Duffy. It's heartening to get messages of support from you all. It is a source of hope for us. We will continue to do everything we can to find a surrogate to help us achieve our dream. After reading some heartbreaking stories, and how their dreams finally came true, we are determined not to give up hope. Thank you for your support.

Adojay


----------



## puffinpie

Thank you tomorrow is the big meet .
So bloody nervous x


----------



## Sianwoodland

Hello

I'm looking at becoming a surrogate this summer. I have two beautiful children under the age of two. In the future I would love to have a few more children of my own, however if I couldn't it wouldn't be a major set back. In the years I'm not pregnant with my own children I would love to use my fertility to help someone else start their family. I'm in a happy relationship with a partner who completely supports what I want to do. I would feel really good in myself if I did this for someone. 

I'm currently in conversations with a lovely couple with the outlook of starting in July. They have frozen embroys and she can not conceive due to having cancer in the past and having to have her womb removed. This baby would not genetically be related to me which I feel would make the process much easier than if it was. The couple lives around an hour away from me so not far considering I live in a relatively rural area. 
She seems lovely and so grateful of what I might be doing and we plan to meet in the coming weeks. 

I was just wondering if anyone had any experiences or advise for me if you have been a surrogate? And for those that have used them or know anything about them what happens from the get go? Are there checks etc and what happens regarding scans appointments etc would they be at my hospital or hers? And what will happen when the baby is born? 

Obviously I am not going to rush in yo anything with out being fully informed so looking for advise and as well as this I will speak to professionals regarding the ins and outs before I make a concrete decision. Also how do I bring up the issue of expenses with her? We haven't talked about that yet. I obviously do not want to be paid for doing this but I don't want to be out of pocket for all the travelling I will be doing to and from her home town and additional childcare I may need during these appointments and the birth. I really am not expecting anything other than financial help to be in the same position as if I wasn't doing this.


----------



## NatGamble

Hi Sian

What a brilliant thing you are thinking of doing - good for you!

There are loads of great sources of support for surrogates in the UK, both professional and voluntary. As well as online forums like this, I would check out the UK's surrogacy organisations for information and support.

Brilliant Beginnings is our non-profit agency (www.brilliantbeginnings.co.uk) and we support surrogates and parents through the process on a professional basis (with counselling, legal advice etc). The other two non profit agencies in the UK are COTS and Surrogacy UK, both of which have tons of experience. Surrogacy UK has a really social approach, so the support in part comes from its communities of surrogates and IPs (it's a very friendly organisation). COTS is the longest established UK surrogacy organisation which has been around since the 1980s. I would check them all out - even just for the information on the websites. There's a lot to think about and work through, and it's important to do your homework and go at the right pace without rushing into things.

Here's a couple of links with some more specific info that may be helpful:
Brilliant Beginnings blog on things to think about before becoming a surrogate http://www.brilliantbeginnings.co.uk/blog/5-things-to-think-about-before-becoming-a-surrogate
Legal advice for surrogates http://www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk/knowledge-centre/surrogacy-law-for-surrogates

Loads of luck on your journey.

Natalie

/links


----------



## duffy7

What an amazing thing you are thinking of doing. 

Are you on any ** groups, I got most of my info there. 

You need to discuss expenses and you are right, you shouldn't be out of pocket for anything. 

Xx


----------



## duffy7

Hope the meet went ok x


----------



## LouGhevaert

Hi

I hope all goes well for you on your surrogacy journey.

Just to add, do make sure you get on top of the legal issues from the outset. Do get to grips with the process for a parental order too. You can find out more about surrogacy law on my specialist website and read some articles and blogs on topical surrogacy and fertility issues - http://www.michelmores.com/what-we-do/services/fertility-law/surrogacy-solicitors

All the best and good luck.

Louisa


----------



## spaceman1950

Hi all 

I would like to freeze my sperm as part of an IUI treatment process.  I would prefer to freeze it and store it locally ( Midlands) but i am wondering if it can later be transported to other parts of the UK to a  chosen IUI clinic ( if i can find one that accepts foreign surrogate mothers)  . Is it likely that this second clinic would accept the sperm or would they require their own sample? many thanks in advance

just started on the surrogacy road and i can see it could be a nightmare!

best regards

Tony M


----------



## MargotW

My husband's sperm has been frozen and transported. Apparently it happens all the time. 

Good luck.


----------



## annieC2

puffinpie said:


> Well we've had a bugger of a time with this baby making business and have been told to stop by our miscarriage specialist.
> We are in the process of getting to know a lovely surrogate and after chatting back and foward are meeting this weekend.
> I am so nervous but excited.
> It will be traditional surrogacy.
> Do any of you have any words of wisdom or any important questions we should ask?
> It is very overwhelming obviously.
> I am just so stunned and absolutely in awe of any woman who can give this gift to another family.
> Xx


hey puffinpie 
I remember that feeling excitement inside of your belly and nervous it's normal. You are going to see the miracle of the life
About the questions it's depends on your situation 
I ask my surrogate mother a lot of questions about her life her child and lifestyle 
How did she decide to become a surrogate and Why?

I hope everything will go well for you
Good luck x


----------



## Guest

Hey my lovely ladies. 
How is everyone here? Any successful stories? New babies??

Hope everyone well X


----------



## Wishings15

I'd love to hear some stories. My sister and I are thinking about doing it x


----------



## duffy7

I too am a success story.... We have a beautiful, crazy little livewire that is 20months old! 

After recurrent miscarriage and ectopic our sis in law offered to be out gestational surrogate. Pretty amazing! 

It was a relatively straight forward journey and has chSnged our life forever. 

I don't often check in here but if you have any specific questions then pm me and I'll see them. 

Good luck xx


----------



## DaisyMaisy

We have twins from surrogacy. Feel free to pm me. Xx


----------



## Katie88

I had twins as a gestational surrogate. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions x


----------



## annieC2

hi, Adojay
I think we all here can feel your pain
I been on your place only couple years ago. I know how hard to find a surrogate mother someone whom you will trast. I found mine outsite my country. I don't know but may be the best for you is to find an agency? or just be very carefull. 
I do hope you will find lovely lady who will carry your child
I have beautiful daughter now and thinking for the second chi ld. 
Good luck sweet


----------



## annieC2

Hello to all women here. I know we face almoust same problems and can understands each other better than anyone else. 

As for me - everything is simple MRKH syndrome, I never hoped for a children, before I met amazing man who help me to feel myself as a woman. We got married, this is where our surrogacy trip starts. 
I would't say it was easy to choose where to go, hoe to choose a surrogate mother. But thanks God I was not alone, my family, my husband supported me and helped make a decision. 
We did have some problems.. I been told I can't use my eggs, husband sperm doubted. After all tests and paperwork there was a trip to another country, meeting new people with the same problem. Amazing support, honestly it's so great when you can share your feeling with someone who understand them, really understand. Help of the doctors and nurses. 
First try bring us loads of tears. Missed abortion, but we didn't lost hope. We didn't have to pay any additional fee, the clinic covers all the costs. 
Another surrogate mother, another egg donor. ..Loads of hopes and - success. The pregnancy went very well, our babygirl was born healthy. We named her Chloe
She is been 3 now and never stop asking me for a sibling

So me and my husband been saving money for another surrogacy trip.
I coudn't keep my feeling inside, have to share is everyone.
Baby #2 hope we will meet soon


----------



## annieC2

Hallo
is anyone here still talk about surrogacy experience??

I'm going for baby#2. My daughter keep asking for a sibling 
My first surrogacy experience was in 2012. It was a long and stressful time, but I never regret after 

Hope i will find a support here..please


----------



## squidgy Bear

Hello everyone 

Just wondering if I can pick a few brains? ...I'm just starting to looking to surrogacy after numerous failed attempts miscarriages and ectopic...a very close friend has offered to be a surrogate since the very beginning and has left that option on the table for us...I'm just wondering where to begin with it all? I currently have embryos frozen in Greece so was hoping to use them ? Any advise would be great x


----------



## Reptile Smile

Congratulations on your first success and best wishes for the next one!

Which country did you go to for your surrogacy?


----------



## Jimmychoo257

Hey, I would like some advice and maybe someone to talk to who has already been a surrogate, for a family member. 
My aunt and her partner are 38 years old and have been trying for a baby for 3 years. They have gone through 2 rounds of IVF and have harvested eggs each time, but my aunt hasn't been able to fall pregnant. I want to offer to be a surrogate for them.


----------



## nancy6ross

Hello dear forum readers. 
My name is Nancy I'm 59. Was born and spend all my life in US.  Been married twice, have lovely daughter who is 26 now. She lives in Hungary and work as pediatrician. I miss her a lot, and feel lonely. Me and my new boyfriend want to get married in summer. He is 63 but we both think that we can have more children, why not? We have big rancho where we breed horses. My daughter married too but they don't want to have children yet, they both doctors and don't have time. I feel that i still have a lot of love and care to give. I understand I'm not very young, but who said when is the right time for children. I'm healthy woman, everyday walk about 3 miles a day. 

I start think to have a child with help of fertility clinics in US but the cost is way too expensive.
Daughter told me about surrogacy in Europe, especially Ukraine, she went to Ukraine on pediatric conference, they visit some clinics in Kiev incl. some reproductive clinics. She was amazed about quality of medicine and the progress they have for such short time of Ukrainian independence. I read loads of information about legislation in reproductive area, and Ukraine seems to me as a very reproductive friendly county. They have commercial surrogacy for donation and very reasonable prices. And w hat is the best for is - no age limits. 

I hope I can meet some one here who visit Ukraine for reason I'm going to and came back home with a child? I will be happy to become friends


----------



## daisyg

Hi Nancy,

I am afraid I don't know anything about the Ukraine, but there are clinics in Europe who will treat you, but you are at the very limit of where most reputable clinics will treat you.

I hope you don't mind me saying this, but as an older mum (I am 56 with two 9 year olds), you really have to think about what would happened to your child if you and your DH die early, which is very possible sadly.  Who would look after your child?  Also, you need lots of energy and also to be in a place where your child is involved with friends etc.  You will be 69 with a 10 year old and your husband will be 73.  With the best will in the world, that is really old to have young, needy, energetic children.

Don't forget that you are also conceiving a donor egg child, so you have to think about all the issues involved in telling/not telling etc.

Having a baby as a cure for loneliness may not be the best way forward?

I hope you don't mind my directness, but I know that having children over 50 is a really big thing, and we will be pretty old before our children are able to be independent.

D x


----------



## AUSSIE1

Hi there 
Would anyone mind letting me know how must surrogacy costs? Either in the UK or outside the UK. I know it is a delicate subject but I don't even know if I'm close to affording it or not. I don't want to get my hopes up. Thank you!
Lots of love and luck to you all xx


----------



## Katie88

Hi i carried twins 2.5 years ago and i believe it cost my ip's approx £20,000 in total x


----------



## AUSSIE1

Thank you both.
I have spent 7yrs trying IVF and spent so much so from what you are saying I really don't think it will be an option for me. It seems so overwhelming and I have been worn down by IVF.
Thank you so much for taking the time to help me tonight xx


----------



## miamiamo

Hi, sorry I can't help much with personal experiences, but have read positive comments (ref ivf in general and surrogacy) on Altra Vita clinics. Here is a site: ht*p://altravita-ivf.com/surrogacy.html

Hope this helps xx 

/links


----------



## Proud-Dad-of-Twins

Hi we came home last year with twins via surrogacy in Ukraine, the total costs (everything included, even travel expenses) were around USD 50,000. The whole process went well and we succeeded in the first attempt of IVF procedure. Wish you the best.

This article gives good indication of the estimated costs, even though it's no longer possible for foreigners to pursue surrogacy in India and Thailand. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-28679020

/links


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## Annae14

Hi,

Myself and my husband are looking at USA or Ukraine for surrogacy as we do not have anyone here who could be a surrogate for us. We have contacted a clinic to create our embryos and then ship them internationally but they said that we could run into trouble with the HFEA as in the US and Ukraine surrogates are compensated for surrogacy which is illegal in UK. They said they would appeal the refusal to ship by the HFEA and they would be confident that they would eventually be allowed as they would be interfering with our right to have a child and this is our only way due to medical reasons. It could take 6 months to sort all of this though....has anyone been in the same situation and how long did it take? I would assume we are not the first people to ever ship embryos internationally for surrogacy.

Thanks


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## daisyg

Hi Annae,

Firstly, just asking whether you have investigated one of the Surrogacy agencies in the UK where you could source a surrogate?

http://www.brilliantbeginnings.co.uk/

Not sure how the costs stack up of course? Just wondering why you are creating embryos in one clinic then shipping? Can you not take the surrogate to whatever clinic you are using?

I am assuming that they are your eggs and DH' sperm? If not then, you would have an issue with the HFEA as the donor/s must be identifiable to your child at 18.

If you are worried, I would first ring the HFEA and ask them.

http://www.hfea.gov.uk/8812.html

I would also have a look at Nat Gamble's website

http://www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk/knowledge-centre?root_level_topic=surrogacy

or post a question on the 'Ask A Lawyer' section.

I wasn't clear from your post exactly what you wanted to do, sorry! 

D xx

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that 
fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## NatGamble

Hi Annae


Actually what your clinic is telling you is wrong. Clinics can ship embryos overseas without any need to notify the HFEA is advance if you fall within the 'general direction'. One of the conditions for that is that the treatment you are planning overseas would not be illegal in the UK. Surrogacy treatment (regardless of whether the surrogate is compensated) is NOT illegal in the UK, which means there is no need for a complicated process involving the HFEA provided you are shipping to a clinic overseas with good safety standards etc. I've seen this come up before and it's a misunderstanding of what the rules say and can usually be sorted out.


I hope that helps but if you need some specific help talking to your clinic feel free to get in touch by email.


Best of luck


Natalie


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## donnamur450

Hi I can only tell you about the prices in the clinic where I had my surrogacy. 
I paid 39.900 euro for a standard contract. It's Ukrainian clinic in Kiev 
If I'm not mistaken they have 3 contracts with different prices


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## donnamur450

Nancy you are brave. I don't think there is a bad time to have children but you do need to think about all the things daisyg said here. She is right
Time never play on our side. Good if you will think about all the part of parenthood
I'm mom myself, have a little girl, she is 1,7 now (i'm 3. There is nothing better than become a mother for sure
I didn't carry my baby under the heart, I don't know how is it to feel your baby growing inside of you 
My baby was born with the help of surrogate mother and when she will be ready I'm going to tell her this.
I decided this for myself even before she was born but many parents keep it in secret
My baby was born in Ukrainian clinic where I went for help. 
The clinic we went have no age limits which will suit your situation
If you have any questions you are more than welcome to ask me.


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## donnamur450

hi that is just great what do you want to do for your aunt. You must have a big heart
I hope you do understand all the issues of being surrogate mother? 
Please, don't think that I'm trying to persuade you, you are going to do an amazing job for your relatives
My baby girl was born from a surrogate mother in Ukraine - healthy and educated woman. I saw her when I visit Kiev
I wish there was someone like you, my friend or sister who would do that for me
If you will have any questions I will be happy to answer


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## donnamur450

Hi my baby was born from a surrogate mother 
I'm 38 and my daughter 1,7 now. My husband and I went to Ukrainian clinic in Kiev 
When I was looking for the clinic I was same as everyone here, reading on the forums but never write anything. My baby is almost 2 now I have some free time. I decode that i want to share my experience 
If anyone have any questions I will be more than happy to answer or you can PM me


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## salcancun

I have a beautiful 10 month old boy, he was from IVF in cancun and carried in Villahermosa Mexico by a surrogate


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## eve111

Like so many, Our only hope pf having a child of our own is to find a surrogate.
and like so many unless you have a huge disposable income it is out of reach for may of us.
I don't want to get out huge loans to pay the expenses as like many I have a mortgage and am by far on the poverty line. I have a strong relationship with my husband but we don't have a family of our own. How to others succeed down the surrogacy route. I have a friend who gave their surrogate their child benefit for the whole 16 years, a lovely nest egg for the surrogate . I would gladly offer this but there are no surrogates willing .


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## miamiamo

Hi, I am sorry to read yr story. I can't help much but want to tell I keep my fingers crossed and wish you all yr dreams come true xxx


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## Lumdeedums

Hey. 
Sadly a PO is granted after confirmation that the surrogate is not out of pocket and it'd be totally illegal in this day and age to give them the child benefit. And no, no surrogate would agree. 
It hard. Beyond hard actually and I am sorry you're facing issues. I hope you are able to save up £6000 or so and find a surrogate. As long as you were willing to do Ts and forgo your own genetics it's more achievable.


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## Lumdeedums

I am a 2 times surrogate. 
I've had a baby as a TS (used my own eggs) and as a GS (IVF. No relation to baby). 
I also documented matching, pregnancy, birth of both surrogate babies and information videos about surrogacy in the UK. So give me a shout if anyone's interested. I won't be narsassiric and post links. Hahaha


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## ruby100

Just thought I'd update this thread as I started it last year sometime. . . .

So I found a lovely surrogate in the UK, although I wasn't expecting to.  We've now done a fresh embryo transfer with our own egg/sperm so it's a gestational surrogacy.  We are BFP but early days as just under 5 weeks now.  Everything crossed


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## BabyA

ruby100 - Congratulations on your BFP! I've never posted anything on here before today. My husband and I have been trying for 12 years but I suffer from recurrent miscarriages. I've been putting off surrogacy for a long time as I wanted to try everything I could to carry a child myself but we've decided it's time to move on. I would love to hear about your experience so far. When did you join the agency and which agency did you use? From what I've read I thought it took much longer than that to get to the stage you're at. My family friend went through COTS and the whole process took 3 years. We are also considering Ukraine just for the peace of mind that our names will be guaranteed on the birth certificate. Wishing you all the very best


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## AmeliaH

This morning, we received a call from our biotexcom manager who leads our surrogacy program. I've been waiting for this call for almost two weeks. She was going to inform us on our surrogate's HGC level and... i'm sure you understand : just letting us know YES or NO.
Guess what?

HCG 2671 and YES! We're pregnant. 
She says it may also indicate multifetal pregnancy. 
Keeping our fingers crossed   and waiting for the first ultrasound!!!

Overwhelmed with emotions
and sending my fertility fairy dust on you all, freinds!


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## AmeliaH

donnamur450 said:


> Hi I can only tell you about the prices in the clinic where I had my surrogacy.
> I paid 39.900 euro for a standard contract. It's Ukrainian clinic in Kiev
> If I'm not mistaken they have 3 contracts with different prices


Hi, we're went to Ukraine for surrogacy. clinic called Biotexcon was our choice. We have signed a contract there two months ago and paid only 5900 euro for starting our surrogacy program. this is the first payment from 29 900, which is surprisingly ALL inclusive. so we don't have to worry that we'll be overcharged. 
In any case, this all doesn't matter at all when you receive a call from a manager telling "Your surrogate's pregnancy is confirmed. Congratulations!" This is our third week pregnancy now, and I can't wait to see the first ultrasound.

Grow baby, grow!


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## hoya

We are expecting our baby in August via New Life Georgia. Our surrogate mother is a lovely lady, mother of two and with the last scan results we've got photos of the beautiful baby bump. 
I can't wait to hold our baby... only 2 months to go.


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## ShoSho

Hi everyone, I hope you are doing well!
My good friend is giving us the gift of being a surrogate for us and our baby is due soon.  She really doesn't want her breast-milk to come in.  Does anyone know of natural ways for her to stop her milk from coming in?
Thanks! xx


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## Dory10

The Drs can give tablets to help prevent this as I was given these after a still birth, also if she wears a soft bra 24 hours a day for 7-10 days and doesn't have any breast stimulation then this will help.  Avoiding skin to skin after birth too.

Dory
Xxx


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## ShoSho

Thanks for your reply Dory, and sorry to hear what you went through. 
My friend is very reluctant to take the tablets so we are looking at some natural ways if possible. The bra and no skin contact could be a shout.
Thanks again!
Sho xxxx


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## JParker

so sorry for you. surrogacy these days costs a penny. and this is quite reasonable and understandable. carrying and delivering a child is a very hard work. moreover, things may go wrong to a surrogate and her heath may be under thread. health is priceless, you know. all those embryologists' work also requires high qualification to successful perform ivf and embryo transfer. i still can't believe that manipulating a SINGLE CELL is possible. in this case: not just cell, but life. 
i'm not sure that my post will be supportive for you, but i hope that still you will find means for becoming parents. i know what it is: wanting to hold a baby of your own in your arms, but having no means for it. in any case, if you want something very much, you will find the way. as for me, in search for a cheaper price for surrogacy my research lead me to eastern european countries. look through the clinics there. maybe you'll find a contract affordable for you. best wished


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## JParker

the op is definitely a brave woman. i'm sure she feel herself a few decades younger than she really is. in the meantime, having a baby is a very responsible thing. it requires much energy and even self-scarifies. i agree and disagree with the previous comments. late parenting may sound selfish (and it really is). however, there's nothing criminal in desire to be a parent at any age, i think. it cuts both ways. only you are to decide. 
you know, just a couple of days before i've read a story of an indian couple who gave birth to their first child at their 80th! it's even hard to believe. but it's true. 
let us know on if any news. i'm really very intrested to know.


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## Hail Mary

Hi there, I've been researching surrogacy for the last couple of years and im STILL confused about the costs! I keep hearing that it's around £100,000 and wondering HOW ON EARTH people are affording this, but I'm also reading about people only paying £30,000....I'm from the UK but would travel if it was more affordable. .We've already spent around £65,000...not sure how much more we can take


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## AmeliaH

eve111 said:


> Like so many, Our only hope pf having a child of our own is to find a surrogate.
> and like so many unless you have a huge disposable income it is out of reach for may of us.
> I don't want to get out huge loans to pay the expenses as like many I have a mortgage and am by far on the poverty line. I have a strong relationship with my husband but we don't have a family of our own. How to others succeed down the surrogacy route. I have a friend who gave their surrogate their child benefit for the whole 16 years, a lovely nest egg for the surrogate . I would gladly offer this but there are no surrogates willing .


i hope things will work out the best way for you. for my family, affording surrogacy wasn't a huge problem, but i understand that situations may differ. maybe we were just lucky to have a good provider of surrogacy services. In our Biotexcom clinic, we paid just 6000 euro while signing contract and 5900 at my dh's sperm pickup. As our pregnancy proceeds, we will have to make 3 more payments of 6000 euro. the last one - when our baby get all official documents and flies home. So, there will be almost a year between the first and the last payment. is this affordable for you?


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## BobbiH

Hi Hail Mary

I would think that 100,000 figure you've seen is based on costs in the USA where Surrogacy is much higher than other places in the world. 

That 30,000 figure is closer to the average surrogacy charge in Europe in countries such as Ukraine and Russia. 

Commercial surrogacy in the UK is illegal and a surrogate can only be paid her expenses.


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## mel149

Hi all!
I’m a newbie here. Hope someone can help me with some advice. 
My name is Melissa, I’m 45 years old, married, have no kids.  You can possibly already see the problem here. We’ve waited for too long. My DH is a diplomat, all our married life we were travelling from one country to another, we didn’t want our kids to experience such a strange life without their own place, without knowing where their home is. So we put the thought of having our own child away.
Now I regret that thought with all of my heart. 
I went through 5 unsuccessful ivfs in about 4 years, now I am 45 and with each year the chances of me getting pregnant are smaller and smaller. I know that after that amount of unsuccessful ivfs you should go with a surrogacy. But I am genuinely scared of all the risks. Here in America this is really unstable to use a surrogate, because of all the legal issues. And also it is really expensive. I’ve heard that you can use a surrogacy services in clinics all over the world. Have someone of you experienced delivering a baby with a surrogate? I would appreciate some advices.
Thank you!


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## ivf24

Hi Mel after losing 7 wee Angels we had our Son who is nearly 1 through surrogacy at intersono clinic Lviv Ukraine they were fantastic and we looked at USA but too costly for us.  You can email Kateryna at the clinic she has excellent English and really held our hand throughout whole process making less stressful, she will advise you of costs information and donors if required.  Wishing you lots of luck and don't give up, it was only through someone posting information that I found out about this clinic as trying to get recommendations few years ago was difficult initially now far more people are helping each other 😄


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## ivf24

Hi Annae. We shipped embryos using experienced courier in UK called Kyniski.com they work with clinics worldwide very experienced we shipped 3 embryos to Ukraine USA would not allow embryos from outside their country that is what we were told by clinic is USA.


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## ivf24

Hi everyone our Son is nearly 1 and life is fulfilled.  Our journey after losing 7 angels we had 3 embryos in clinic and we're looking for a surrogacy clinic that would accept them intersono in Lviv Ukraine would we used kyniski.com medical courier in the UK they were superb and our surrogate was pregnant on first attempt.  I wish you every success in your journey, never give up and hopefully this information helps at least one other couple to have a lovely family.

/links


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## ruby100

Hello Amy Victoria 

Thanks - we have first scan at 7wk, 3 days next week!  Very scared and excited.

We also considered ukraine and might do if we would like a sibling (or try again if this one doesn't work out pregnancy wise - you can see my anxiety!!)

WE met a lovely surrogate online but didn't join an agency.  I didn't like the idea of non professionals digging into our lives when the clinic does this anyway.  So we have done it all ourselves, but based the contract on a COTS type contract.  my surrogate has been a surrogate before so she's great at guiding us on all the issues.  

Happy to answer any questions,

Take care, Ruby x


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## selene78

Hoya what a wonderfull news! I am not active here for about 1,5 year, but remember your fight for baby. Will keep my fingers crossed for you!
We are a lucky story  - twins in our first attempt (NL Georgia). Fantastic children and am very happy to have them


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## Kaz1980

I hope you don'the mind me hijacking this post with a question but we're only just starting to think about surrogacy and i'm not sure if it's something we'Lloyd be able to do. As we have egg, sperm and immune issues, we'd need to use donor egg, donor sperm and a surrogate.  Can we do this? Or does one of us have to be the genetic parent to use a surrogate?

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this question.


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## ivf24

Kaz you need to have genetic link for surrogacy in Ukrainr there are private forums on ******** where couples meet surrogates privately might be an option for you.  Wishing you lots of luck.

Mel Have not had experience with biotex personally but there are few posts of people that have for you to contact for their experience e.  Wishing you lots of luck.


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## Proud-Dad-of-Twins

Hi Kaz1980, regarding the possibility of using donor egg + donor sperm + surrogate mother, much depends on how citizenship from your home country is established and granted for the child born abroad through surrogacy and how legal parentage and child custody are determined by the laws in your home country. 

In most countries where surrogacy is illegal, the woman who gives birth to a child is recognized as the child's legal mother. It is usually required that the child born abroad by a surrogate mother must have genetic connection with the man (father) who applies for citizenship and passport on behalf of the child from his (father's) home country. If no such connection can be established, the child will not get citizenship and passport from the intended father's home country and will not be able to travel. 

The best option for using donor egg + donor sperm + surrogate mother is in the USA (a number of states only) where the local courts can grant pre or post birth order so that the intended parents (no matter genetic connection) can be legally recognized and accepted by their home country and the child can travel with them with his/her own American passport since he/she is a natural born American citizen.


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## sjparmar

Hi

I shipped  my embryos  which were made here in UK and moved them to India in December 2014 using kynisi. Very professional courier company  (I would highly recommend them) and we have a beautiful baby girl  via this process. Unfortunately you are unable to ship to India  Due to the surrogacy ban and as a result the remaining of my embryos are stuck in the country and have been told that I am unable to get them out. I am sure their are other parents in a similar situation to us ... What can I do to bring them back home ?


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## AmeliaH

hi,
finally have time to drop a line.
just wanted to share my happiness with you: we finally saw the first US photos of our pregnancy. it was probably one of the most remarkable moments in my life when i saw those two little peas for the first time. i hope everything goes well for our surrogate and she doesn't feel any morning sickness. thinking of coming to Ukraine on our 12th week to meet her and see our second US personally.


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## AmeliaH

let me join this discussion. i have answers to some questions you asked, ladies. 

Firstly, my congrats on bfp.  I also have everything crossed for you. I know what it’s. we’re now also in a wait. Our surrogate is 6 weeks pregnant. This period is very tough, doubled that it’s twins pregnancy. So, only positive vibes!

Our surrogacy is served by biotexcom clinic which is in the Ukraine. There were a lot of questions as to ukrainain regulations. To clear it up, yes, you have to be officially married (for surrogacy, but not necessarily for egg donation). As to the wait list, our embryo transfer took place in 10 weeks after our first visit. In general, other couples said that the wait time is no more than 2-3 months. We were lucky to be matched with a surrogate quite quickly and hopefully she felt pregnant from the first try. In any case, even if she didn’t, our contract would be renewed with no extra charges. 

With wishes of bfp for every intended parent here! 

Have a great day! 
x


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## Kaz1980

Thank you for your replies. I think I knew what has been confirmed but thank you for confirming.


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## monigel33

Hi everyone. I really enjoyed reading your posts but unfortunately I am nowhere near to get a baby. I am as you call a researcher. We're just starting looking for the options, but reading your posts with such lovely stories have made me crying happy tears of joy. I hope we with my dh will finally achieve our long awaited dream. Good luck to everybody.


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## AmeliaH

hi, I've already met you at another thread 
chin up. we're here to encourage each other and to learn that there's always a way.
i hope you will soon share your happy story here.
feel free to pm me if there's anything i can help you with. 

xxx


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## Dory10

Here's a link to the new Surrogacy General Chat thread http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=346611.msg6339643#msg6339643


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