# Would we be considered for adoption?



## MrsYG (Oct 30, 2007)

Hi

A bit of background, ttc 8 years, 3 failed IVF, 1 x m/c @ 6 weeks.

We have just endured a MC after years of ttc, and we're now considering other ways of becoming a family.  Adoption is one of those options, and we have looked into it previously about 12 months ago.  Spoke to a SW who said we were ideal candidates but need to wait 2 years after IVF before being able to start the process.  We've recently had our last treatment, which was supposed to be a last ditch attempt using Immune medication.  So now I guess we'll have to wait another 2 years?

Also, I have horses, which keep me very busy.  I am not prepared to give them up, would this be frowned upon or affect the likelihood of us being approved?  Obviously I know my lifestyle would have to change to some degree no matter how we achieve a family, but I would never give the horses up.

Thanks for any advice.  I really appreciate it. 

Emma


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi

Sorry about your mc.

Just quickly as off out, I would phone around and see whether you can find an agency with less waiting time.  Many say 6-12 months, 2 years is a bit extreme I feel but maybe they have lots of people coming through at the moment?

Can't see the horses would cause a problem but you would have to show how you would cope with it all, having a young child that has suffered loss etc is very hard work and you do need to dedicate all your time in the early months of placement.

OT x


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## charlie_44 (Jan 9, 2009)

Hi Emma, 

As Old Timer says I would ring around different agencies.  We were told by ours that we didn't need to wait a certain amount of time after treatment as everyone is different.  We applied a few weeks after our last IVF.  It probably made a difference that we used a donor so therefore had our heads around certain issues but two years seems like a long long time.  People on our prep course had waited a matter of months not years.    

Charlie x


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## Guest (Mar 2, 2011)

I can't see anything that would stop you adopting, but a two year wait following IVF does seem quite extreme.

Most people seem to need to wait 6-12 months - out situation was unique and we had our kids with us within six months of our cycle.  I'd phone other agencies in your area and see what waits they suggest.  

Horses shouldn't be a problem; a adoptive mum I know has a horse.  However as others have said the SWs will need to be sure you are committed to the child/ren as they will need extra support especially in the early days, so maybe you would need consider who would look after the child/ren whilst you are with the horses.    

Hope you are able to move on with your journey soon.

Bop


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

I think maybe SWs will expect you to find someone else to look after the horses in the early days rather than leaving the children......have a plan that they are happy with and then when matched and a child is home you will be in a better place to be able to decide how to handle things but from our experience I wasn't away for DS for a month and then it was a quick trip to the shop!!!

OT x


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## Guest (Mar 15, 2011)

So sorry about your m/c ... And good luck on the adoption path.

Like others I think 2 years wait is extreme, we were told to wait 6 months. Also, while we were doing the adoption assessment I became pg naturally (v surprising as was almost 40 and haven't been pg naturally for years -- just to explain, all my previous pgs ended in m/cs) and had another m/c , SW didn't delay the process, only asked us to make sure we take precausions, which we would have done anyway because the heartache every time is just too much and pointless   SW understood we didn't do this on purpose to ttc and were just taken by surprise.

Regarding horses, I know an adoptive mum which 3 children (2 of them adopted) who keeps a horse, the children seem to love this too, and it was never a problem for her a much as I know to be approved.

Lots of luck.

Rivka x


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