# Help, one confused person!!



## kazza82 (Apr 26, 2011)

Hi,

My name is Karen and I'm 29 and single! I had a short term relationship last year and got pregnant (father didn't want to know and relationship ended), I miscarried at 11 weeks . Since then I have been trying to come to terms with the loss but one thing keeps coming back and that is that I feel like there is something missing and that is a child of my own!!

I'm confused really, been trying to read some posts to see if any help me but just can't find what I looking for as they are so varied, so thought I post one myself.

So I know that no-one can answer this question - but any ideas how I come to the conclusion to Am I too young to consider being a single parent through Donnor insemination?

Where do I start?

Why is it one of my closest friends thinks that I should enjoy life on my own first and make the most of life and that I need to do that before I consider going it alone? Am I wrong in feeling that a child is what I am missing, that thats is how I see myself living life and enjoying it?

Well I guess thats a start to my questions!! Hope someone can offer some advice or just listening would be helpful!!

Thank you  Karen x


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## Buddles (Dec 15, 2009)

Hello Karen.

First of all Im very sorry for your loss of your baby.

Your story is very similar to mine. I was in a long term (although not great) relationship when I got pregnant and miscarried at 6 weeks. I was devastated and my partner and I split over it. (He never wanted it anyway and made my life a misery the brief time I was pregnant.)

That was 2 years ago now and since then I have been considering using DI. I am 29 now, and still in the planning process. The few people I have mentioned my plans to have differed in their response. Some think im bonkers for considering it so young, others are happy if i am happy and would support me all the way.

My main concern is not my age, but giving up the opportunit for my child to have and know a biological father. (which i imagine most single women having DI think about.) But if I had had my baby with my ex partner, he would not be in their life. And i feel it is better for a child to know that a kind man donated than their father legged it before they were even born!!

When I first started considering DI, I think i was still grieving for my baby I lost. And luckily I have a sensible head on my shoulders even in the worst of times otherwise I would have tried to start trying very quickly. So instead I let myself grieve for my baby and started writing lists and planning what I will need to have a baby in a secure home. For 18 months I have been working towards those goals. And I am slowly getting there. I hope to start trying mid 2012 when I will be almost 31.

If you want to private message me feel free if you would like to chat more.

xx


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## morrigan (Dec 8, 2009)

Karen - sorry you've been through so much - I dont think your too young and only you know I'd you want to try to find a partner for a while first - I did the while Internet dating thing very unsuccessfully for a while just so I could prove to my self I'd tried but the key question is what's more important baby or relationship ? Baby won hands down! The thing is you have already got your head in the baby space lady year so thats unlikely to change so how realistically would you be able to focus on a relationship.

I would imagine that you would go with Iui as you can get get pregnant - good luck with your decscion.


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## Rosie Ribbons (Sep 10, 2010)

Hi Kazza22
your story is exactly the same as mine,im 25 single and currently 35wks pregnant with sperm donor, life is to short to wait for something that might not come along, Its the best thing I have ever done! 
I went through the londons womens clinic and was an egg donor at the same time because egg sharing means I got IVF treatment for free. 
I went in straight away 2 months after m/c although this doesnt seem a long time but I really dont regret it it made me realise what I want from life and Im not prepared to waste time.
If you would like to chat or need any information please feel free to PM me on here xx


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## kazza82 (Apr 26, 2011)

Thank you for your replies. I'll try to keep you posted on what I decide and how I get on. Good luck in your journeys too. XX


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