# Help!



## lainey-lou (Feb 18, 2007)

Hello

I'm new here.  Don't understand all the jargon, all very confusing!  What is a dh and an af??

Anyway, I am Lainey and I am struggling to deal with secondary infertility.  I have read a lot of your messages and can really relate to them, especially the ones about having to deal with friends/family popping children out like nobody's business.  I feel such a failure.  Why is this happening to me?

I have a 3 year old daughter (is that a dd?) who is gorgeous and I am really grateful that I have her.  She seemed to come about relatively easily.  I had a miscarriage before she was conceived but apart from that, it only took a few months to get pregnant again and it all went ok.  After she was born we decided we would like another and when she was 18 months we started trying again.  It took six months for me to get pregant again but when I did I had another miscarriage at 10 weeks.  I was so devastated I can't tell you.

Since then we have had no luck whatsoever and recent tests have shown that I have FSH levels of 15.  I am only 36 so just can't understand this.  My friends are all very understanding but I sometimes feel very alone as I don't know anyone who is going through the same as me.  It would be nice to make contact with someone/anyone who is suffering the same misfortune. 

Hope to hear from you all soon.

L x


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## honeyprincess (Jun 6, 2006)

Hey Lainey

Just wanted to give you a warm welcome!
You are not alone here, the girls are a great support.

As for the jargon, click on the link it will take you to the abbreviation glossary....

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/index.php?option=com_glossary&Itemid=120

Talk soon
Love Laura xx


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## lainey-lou (Feb 18, 2007)

Hello Laura

Thanks for your message, the link was very useful.

Lainey x


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## hollie22 (Sep 29, 2006)

Hello Lainey- how are you? I can really relate to your story. Infact our situations are really really similar! I too have a beautiful 3 year old daughter, conceived fairly easily. Have been trying to conceive for over two years and had a miscarriage a year and a half ago.I turn 36 next month. I feel absolutely awful and so guilty that I may not give my dd a sibling. The older she gets the more panicky we become. 
So many friends are onto 'number 2' and I feel sick when I know another announcement is imminent, altho obviously happy for them but so sad inside.
Everything and everyone seems to come in two's and it feels so odd just having one child. Many people say 'oh you are so lucky to have one' and I know that and keep telling myself that but it doesnt take away the anguish of not having another.
Anyway sorry to ramble. if you want to chat Im here and know exactly how you feel. Keep strong!


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## cinders35 (Feb 23, 2007)

Hi Lainey,
I too totally know where you are coming from. I have a 4yr old dd, who lights up our lives! Concieved naturally after 4 months of trying. We started ttc again when she was 1. Went to gp after a year, led to various investigations. Found a couple of problems, but nothing to actually stop conception. I feel so annoyed with my body,like it is letting me down. All my friends have gone on to have 2nd and 3rd babies, and while I am pleased for them I feel so sad for me,  and especially my dd who is such a loving child and would love a sibling! I feel as though I am waiting patiently in the queue for it to be my turn, and everyone else keeps rudely pushing in!!Take a ticket and get to the back of the queue, I,m next!!! I am not a usually a jealous person, but I don't like the feelings I have when yet another person announces their pregnancy! 
The comments are unbearable too!! I am quite a private person, so I didn't say anything to wrk colleagues until about 6 months ago. Not a week would go by without somebody commenting, "about time you had another!" and so it was easier to come clean and tell them than have them go on at me!
I don't understand why this has happened, and I hate the lack of control feeling.  I wanted a 2 year gap betwen my children! The clock has been loudly ticking for the past 3 years!
We have decided to take control, and have opted to go straight for IVF. I am due for egg collection in 2 days, so my rant maybe due to hormones?
But you are not alone in your feelings of sadness and frustration. I think there should be special clubs & holidays etc set up for only children to ease the guilt of their parents! I suppose we could go and live in China, where we would be the norm with our "only child!? " Maybe bit drastic?! See how the Ivf goes first I think!
I wish you all the best for the future,
Love and understanding 
Cinders35!


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