# Hello, new, nervous and in need of help after letter from fertility clinic^



## mirry71 (May 13, 2007)

Hello my name is Mirry71 and some mumsnetters suggested I try this site.
I was 34 when started TTC; now after a year before going to the GPs and then another 8 months of waiting I finally have an appointment with the local fertility clinic. What I am upset and worried about is that the letter starts off by saying "It looks as if we will have to talk to you about IVF or ICSI".
What does this mean? All the blood tests I had back in December came back normal as did DH's semen analysis. I have waited this long to even get an appointment and they haven't done any other tests.
I'm 36 and am really worried.
I also wonder what kind of things I should be asking them about when I go. Does anyone have any advice.
I am feeling very lonely and find it very difficult to talk to friends in RL. My husband is wonderful but I don't want all our conversations to be about this. My best friend has two gorgeous daughters, a rich husband and a big house and doesn't really understand (and also I feel judges me slightly because I waited til 34 before TTC). What I really hate myself for though is the fact that my sister gave birth to a beautiful daughter a month ago. My family - who don't know about the fertility clinic stuff because I can't bear to tell them - are naturally over the moon at the first grandchild and of course just want to talk about that the whole time. I hate myself for feeling jealous of her.
Oh dear - not a great introduction! Sorry - If you'd met me before all this had started you would have thought I was relatively normal!
Oh and finally I can't work out how to put the little descriptions of myself on the end!


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi mirry71 and welcome to the site 

Sorry to hear of what you have been through to make a baby but you have come to a fantastic site full of advice and support.

I will leave u a couple of links on the site to try out that you may find useful.

ICSI board.............http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=31.0

IVF board..............http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=3.0

Starting out and diagnosis.............http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=110.0

Girl and boy thread (fun area).........http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=1.0

We also have a great chatroom (check the index for themed chats). It is often good to talk to people who understand what you are going through. Every Friday Night from 8pm to 9pm is NEWBIE NIGHT Miss TC, Dizzi squirrel or I will be in there to help you use the chatroom, answer any questions, etc. If you can't make it on Friday night, just send one of us a personal message and we will meet you in there at a prearranged time for a short "one2one" session to show you the ropes.

For more info on Newbie Night follow the link...http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=85409.0

Good luck with everything

Kate xx​


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## bib (Apr 17, 2007)

Hi Mirry   welcome to FF

I am so sorry to hear of your ttc troubles.  The first thing I will say is STOP BLAMING YOURSELF!!!  Everyone who is in the ttc position and has felt exactly the same.  Ttc is such a lottery, rollercoaster of a ride, that of course you will go through so many emotions, but blaming yourself shouldn't be one of them.  IF is no ones fault, it is just how things are.  I know that doesn't make you feel any better, but it is a fact.  If you keep blaming yourself, you will send yourself insane, and that is not what your want.

You need to go to your next appointment with an open mind and just hear what they have to say.  If your tests all came back ok, I don't know why they would suggest ivf or icsi, but then i am not a dr, so can't really say why this has been said.  I used to take notes of any meetings I had with consultants, because you could guarantee that i would get out of his room and forget everything i had been told!!!   At least by writing stuff down, I could come away and ring him if I needed more info.  When is your appointment?  Hopefully you won't have long to wait.

i can understand totally how you feel about your family and the new baby.  When you are going through fertility investigations, or even ttc, it seems like the world and his dog are pg and all you see are pg women around.  It can be hard to take.  When it is as close to home as your sister, it must be so hard - on one hand you are thrilled for her, but on the other, sad because you want what she has - I can totally empathise as we had the same thing.  I can't imagine anyone in your position feeling any different.

Everyone who falls in to the category of ttc is fantastic in their own way.  We all find the courage to deal with out lot from somewhere and you will find that FF will be a great way to let off steam and confide in people .  Keep you chin up and wait and see what they say at your appointment.

Am sending big hugs to you babe, 

Love

bib xx


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## Alley (Aug 13, 2006)

Mirry

You will find your feeligs are cmpletely normal. As you use this site more and more, you will find lots of advice and support and will see that all of us have felt the fear, frustration, self-blame, loneliness and jealously throughout the infertility journey.

You are in the right place honey. I wish you luck with yur first appointment. Write questions down before you do. Somewhere on here someone has posted a list of question to ask at your first consultation (IVF or ICSI board - can't remember)

Love Alley x


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## mirry71 (May 13, 2007)

Thank you Alley and thank you bib for making me feel not so alone. I am so grateful. I will look for those first questions and yes I shall write everything down. Otherwise I will forget it all! (When DH and I came out of seeing GP neither of us could remember half the things she said - I guess mainly relief because at that stage she said everything normal)
My sister has been living away but is coming back in a couple of months. By that time I am determined I will get a grip on myself and be able to cope. Of course...i am sure my family would shut up about her baby if they knew I was ttc but I think that would be worse in a way - I don't want to be the family freak!!!


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## apparition (Apr 20, 2007)

Hi Mirry
FF is a real help and a great place for support. Don't worry about the appointment - now you are at the start of a journey that will hopefull not be to long. We are nine months since seeing a specialist for the first time and every month has felt like a rollercoaster but thankfully the emotional ride eases. 

We weren't helped by DH's sister rushing into pregnancy after hearing we had had trouble (we had been good friends and I had told her of our heartache). She got pregnant the first month of trying and feels completely unready - she is due to be induced tonight. However she couldn't cope with guilt and embarrasement of talking about out difficulties so basically froze me out. However my stubbornness and openness about the fertility journey has turned her around.

Unlike many on here I chose to tell my family, friends and immediate colleagues what was happening and it has helped tremendously. Most have been supportive and sensitive, only the odd couple have seemed a little uncomfortable. It isn't easy but hiding it can add to the stress I find. Also being on clomid has made me very hormonal and I simply say I'm on my tablets and make light of it. Family and friends can then understand more. 

You have as much right to family love and support as a sister with a child. You are not a freak!!! wouldn't you tell them if you were suffering at work or were ill. THey might be offended you haven't shared this. Everyone and their families are different and you have to feel comfortable - but don't feel you have to go through this alone or in silence. 

Having a good ***** on here really helps. Good luck.

Apps


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## mirry71 (May 13, 2007)

I really admire you apps for being able to be so open. And also how you have dealt with DH's sister. That is so grown up! And yes you have made me think that perhaps my family would be offended. It is illogical and irrational I know but it's like I don't want my family to see me as a failure and feel sorry for me. Of course it is nobody's fault but I don't want to be "Poor Mirry" when anyone talks about me (my work has not gone well for a few years as well and I hated telling my parents about that because then of course they worried. Thank goodness for DH who has been brilliant)
Maybe also I have to face that if I tell lots of other people it is acknowledging we have a problem. Up til now I have always managed to think to myself 'maybe this month the miracle will happen'. Telling people means facing it's not going to.


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## diannaK (Feb 20, 2006)

Hi Mirry 
It is early days in terms of IF, it's good that you arew being seen at IF clinic. Write down any specific questions you have but don't be afraid to just listen to what they say. I tend to find that I have questions but everthing they say takes time to sink in. I often find myself on here quiaing people after I've had time to think about what has been said or about things that have hapened to me. I would like to say other people getting preg gets easier but it doesn't really, just know that we all feel the same on here and you aren't alone in it.
DiannaK


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hi *Mirry* and a huge welcome to the site honey 

I see the girls have already been over to welcome you and give you lots of good advice! So, I will stick to the technical bits  Be sure to have a look at the links Kate has left you though, you might find them interesting and want to join in with some of the chatter 

To put information about yourself in your signature strip at the bottom of your posts:

Click the "Profile" icon at the top of the page.

From the list on the left hand side click on "Forum Profile Information"

Scroll down almost to the bottom and you will see "Signature". Insert your text here. When you have finished, click on "Change Profile" at the bottom of the page.

Looking forward to seeing you around the boards honey
Love, luck and 
Tracy
xxxx


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## apparition (Apr 20, 2007)

Hi Mirry
you have summed up where I was three months ago. Before I took the clomid I believed so fully in everything natural and organic. I couldn't accept that me who prides herself on eating and living healthily couldn't get pregnant naturally. Everything I have ever done in my life I have pretty much done through hard work and reading. If I couldn't do something I read up and learnt how. I studied everything I could about fertiliity and tried everything but still no BFP.

I felt like such a failure especially bad as I am quite competitive. I felt a failure in my M-I-L eyes as we were quite close and she was so looking forward to a a new set of grandchildren. She was so happy when we told her we had decided it was the right time to start a family and then nothing happened. When DH sister got pregnant it was as if I was incompetent or something. It took a lot to see that i.m not.

I had all these awful emotions I didn't know how to deal with - I just couldn't have done it without both families - we were always quite close. DH's other sister is a pillar of strenght and even bought me ice cream when she heard that it might help ovulation problems. My family has always been very open about feelings etc (Dad had spinal cancer and was very open about it) so I was a bit of a shock to DH'S who play things tight to the chest but they see that as my strength - very little embarrrasses me. 

Your family may be concerned about what you are going through (not pity) but they will also see the strength that you show through this adversity and praise you for it. Many have said that they don't know if they could have done the same - but you do - little else for it. You'll find what is most comfortable and we are all here if you need us. 

Apps


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## johnson23 (May 12, 2007)

Hi Mirry, 

I fully understand how you are feeling - I did not realise how stressed I was feeling about the whole process thing.  My gynie appointment is tomorrow - and my head already feels foggy!

Good luck with your appointment.
Take care
Amanda


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## mirry71 (May 13, 2007)

Thank you Diannak and thank you apps...again. Maybe I will try to tell my family. It just feels like I would be raining on everyone's parade. Also then having to explain why i didn't say anything before....I suppose I could use the appointment as an excuse. 
But - oh dear yes I am competitive too and feel like a failure. My parents and M-I-L have never been the type to go on and on about children. Although at DH's niece's christening a couple of months ago M-I-L had one too many glasses of champagne and started complaining to her sisters about the fact that she hadn't been given any grandchildren. Luckily I didnt overhear at the time...DH did poor man.
The irony is of course that (touch wood) in the past I have been superhealthy - never a day in hospital, no broken limbs. I'm even the sort of person who manages to come back from India without having gone down with Delhi belly. I get organic food delivered and go to the gym. Hmmm it's great how your body can just turn around and show you up for being so smug....
And Amanda just read your post - all the VERY best of luck for tomorrow.


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## mirry71 (May 13, 2007)

Thanks for all the suggestions yesterday. Well I tried to be very brave and rang the ACU today to ask questions. It was my Horrible Receptionist on the phone; I said I wanted to ask some questions of a nurse about the appointment in July. She asked what...and I said I wanted to know what was happening that day and then how long a waiting list there was for IVF and also what does it mean to get a letter like this. She said it was a standard letter; that I'd have a scan in July and then the other 45 mins would be taken up with discussion with the doctor. She said that there isn't much of a waiting list for IVF (I live in inner city London; I cant believe thats true)
I tried to bring up the tests; she quite rightly said that only a doctor could discuss that....and I wimped out of asking to speak to one.

Still at least I did something; now I just have to figure out how on earth I tell my family.....


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## blinky1010 (Apr 17, 2007)

Hi Mirry
My daughter is now 4 and I still have not got round to discussing our infertility with My inlaws properly. We did try to explain that we might need some help to conceive due to dh count before we had our first lot of treatment.The response we got was pretty blazay to say the least and then they discussed it with the rest of the family behind our backs.
Needless to say, this time round we have not mentioned anything to them and I feel completely happy with this ( probably because I'm a control freak and it gives me some control over this ). I hope You can find a way to tell your inlaws, because it's great to have some support, but if they are like mine and want to know more in's and out's than Your GP so they can gossip about it, then stick to telling us. We all care and understand ( and don't judge)
Caz


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## mirry71 (May 13, 2007)

Thanks Caz. I will bear that in mind. I also dont want to make a big fuss while my parents are so over the moon about becoming grandparents after my sister just gave birth. (Nor indeed to give away how jealous I am of her). Having said that DH is of the opinion that I will just go madder and madder if I store it all up inside. But....oh I dont know.


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## coughsweet (Nov 21, 2006)

Hello and welcome Mirry71

I'm in a similar position to you - and could swear I have the same best friend!! (just had her second daughter 2 weeks ago - ouch)
Completely sympathise with not knowing whether/who to tell about it. Give yourself some time and a break about doing this. I know I had to pause and take on board the shock myself for a bit first before being strong enough to share it with others. I haven't told many people - my parents and some close friends but although they are kind I still feel we are on different planets about this. People often don't really know what to say and can drop the odd clanger which hurts. I do my best to forgive them but have come on here and let off steam about it sometimes!
I still feel like DH is often the person I need most to talk to as he is the other one in this with me. It can help to have friends to share the load with though as I can just lose perspective otherwise and it's too much weight on him to cope with alone. Coming on ff has helped enormously for me not feeling like a freak.

The waiting for appointments can be sooo frustrating. I had an appointment yesterday and felt utterly washed out after it - writing down questions is a great idea. I have found that nurses are the best for answering questions myself (I get a bit intimidated by the consultant!). I was told to just phone up and ask them if I think of any questions rather than sit and worry - I expect you'll find someone amenable to phone calls too once you've had that initial appointment. You might want to ask if they have a counsellor there or can recommend one too. I had one appointment with one just to talk a few things through and fully intend to go back if we get to doing more invasive treatments. There are other options you can go for before IVF/ICSI and this site is a great place to get armed with information first.

Best of luck       

coughsweet


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## mirry71 (May 13, 2007)

Hello coughsweet and sorry for the delay in replying....and thank you for your kind words. hope you have recovered from your appointment. I think you are probably right about the nurses and again it being easier once you've been there once. If you ask to see a counsellor does it get held agaisnt you or anything you say in that affect what treatment they are prepared to give you? That's the only thing that would worry me....
I keep on forgetting about the damn letter and wondering about the 2ww I am supposedly on...then I remember and come crashing down again! Oh well....


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## beckyb (Feb 27, 2007)

Hi Mirry71

Just wanted to say hi and welcome,  this is a great site  it's helped me a lot already you'll get some great advice & support from the gals & guys on here.

It's only normal to feel jealous of your sister,  Ive had 2 friends tell me recently that they are pregnant,  one thinks it's twins,  it hurts so much this can seem a very lonely journey at times which is why this site is so fantastic,  just remember there is always people on here who know what youre feeling.

My partners brother and his new wife have  just announced they are pregnant (they only got married mid february)  they did tell everyone they were trying straight away so it wasn't a huge shock but it still hurts none the less.  It has a good and bad side for us though as DP brother has offered to be our sperm donor.  it's still difficult to think about and talk about even though we are over the moon for them.  They are being really great about it trying not to monopolise every conversation.

good luck with your appointment, joining FF is a great start to keeping you sane.

becky x


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## mirry71 (May 13, 2007)

Thank you. I have to say today I reached rock bottom. Got my period (I know I know....why should this month be any different to the other 17....). Realised that even if a miracle happened next month I'd be 37 by the time I had a baby. DH has gone out drinking so all on my own. And my best friend and accountant has masssively massively messed up my tax so I suddenly have to find an extra 1000 pounds (bang goes IVF savings). And even worse  she has not got indemnity insurance so I can't claim it back in anyway And I can't tear a strip off her either as a friend. I  just feel very down.


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## Guest (May 22, 2007)

Hi Mirry

I'd just like to say I know how you feel.I only had my first appointment a few weeks ago in April after ttc for 4 years. I'm 34 (35 in November) and feel like a ticking time bomb.Time seems to go so quickly when you're ttc...I've only just been for my appointment as I've been waiting for my VERY reluctant DP to go for the Sperm Analysis for about 3 years.They wouldn't refer me until he did that.Since I went for my appointment, things have moved quickly, and I had a lap and dye and hysteroscopy last week because I chose not to wait and go privately.However, this seems like such a long journey I know.I'm still none the wiser after having the op really, and have my follow up app on Friday.What I'm trying to say is, I know how you feel, about the age and everything, but I'm sure you'll get there with the support of FF and your family.What tests have you had so far by the way? 

Meanwhile, lots of  

     

to you.

Nikki


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## mirry71 (May 13, 2007)

thank you Nikki and  

    

back to you too

I have not had very many tests at all. I had the 21 and 28 blood test back in December. DH (ecstatic too as you can imagine) had the sperm analysis at the same time. all came back fine. Waited for 4 months to hear from ACU. they then asked DH to do another test (even more ecstastic). Then - nothing - just this appt in July.

So I feel a long wait and not very much to show at the moment. I begin to feel like I wish we had just mortgaged the flat and gone private a year ago....but I was more hopeful then and thought something would happen.


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## Guest (May 22, 2007)

Hi Mirry,
I've only had the 21 day progestorone too, and DP's SA.Then of course the lap and dye.Have they suggested one for you?Please don't be sad, I know it's hard, but you really will get help, advice and support on here.If you've got a strong relationship with DH, that will really help you.My DP is very reluctant really, and doesn't want any more children(has DD from previous relationship).He told me last night he will never go for IVF, so I'm just holding out, month to month....





Nikki


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## LoisLane (Apr 26, 2007)

Hi Mirry 

I can't understand if your tests came back normally, why they are recommending icsi and IVF.  Seems quite strange and hope everything becomes much clearer at your appointment - good luck.

Please do not try and worry, I know it is difficult, I am the same age as you but the FF site has filled me with hope, as there are lots and lots of happy endings for so many of the ladies on here.  Let's hope that some of their luck rubs off onto us and all the other ladies ttc.

I made a decision upfront to tell my family and friends of our wishes for a baby and the problems we were having.  I know it will be difficult, but believe that your friends and family will be very sympathetic and offer you support and encouragement along the way.  I find it much easier, because it really jolts me when people I don't know too well, just assume that I don't want children and make insensitive comments.  

Sending you lots of   and  .

Lou x


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## LoisLane (Apr 26, 2007)

Hi again!

Have just read your new post.  I have a friend whose sister has to go straight to IVF, because of her husbands sperm analysis.  I would ring the clinic and ask for an explanation as to why this is the route, just to clear things up for you, so you don't worry. There are vits that are recommended to improve sperm, perhaps you could find out about these and it would give you something to focus on prior to the appointment.

Lou x


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## mirry71 (May 13, 2007)

Hi Louj,
No I don't understand either....i can only think that a) something was v diff at DH's second test or b) they reckon that given all normal but nothing happened and our ages they are just going to get on with it. No doubt they will explain all.
I am encouraged that some many FFs have been able to tell family and friends - for me it has seemed such a big thing - and also such a burden. I am thinking about it.
Nikki at the appt they say I have to have a 15 min scan (is that the same? not sure). DH most of the time supportive but doesnt really get the age thing....and sometimes it is hard not to get all wound up with each other...partic when OPK tests have said go for it and he is not in the mood...I am sorry that your DP is reluctant.  and am sending good luck to you that he will change his mind (if you need it)



to both of you  xxx


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## mirry71 (May 13, 2007)

Hi Louj
think my last post crossed with yours.
I tried to ring and ask but the world's most snotty receptionist kept on saying that only a doctor could discuss results and that was what the appointment was for....and I lost courage to insist on speaking to a doctor now.
I wd much rather it was something to do with me than DH as he is positive at the moment about whole IVF stuff etc. But....if confronted with it being a problem for him I am not sure how he would react.....


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## LoisLane (Apr 26, 2007)

Hi Mirry

I would ring the receptionist again and insist that somebody calls you to explain why they are recommending ISCI IVF.  I'm sure that if you explain 
how stressful to you it is, somebody qualified would call you back.
It is after all their duty to treat you fairly and I'm sure they would not want
you to be stressed out until July, when they could offer you the explanation you deserve.

Don't worry about your DH.  The first clinic we were at said that it was DH sperms antibodies, due to vasectomy reversal, which was causing our IF, our current clinic believe there is no evidence to support this. Infact further investigation, has shown me to have acidic mucus, so that is the more likely cause of IF.  I think the important thing to remember is that it is not your fault or you DH's fault, it is a journey you undertake together and try and sort together.

We have had a few mix ups with our clinic and it was only when I telephoned
and was quite forceful (lol) that things happened for us.  Infact at our IUI planning meeting, when we voiced our concerns to the nurse, she was very sympathetic and generally sorry to hear that we had experienced problems.

One more thing, I don't know what part of the country you are from, but would recommend you search for local or clinic boards for your area.  I have just signed up with DH to go along to a social to meet others that are at the local clinic.  I'm really pleased about this because obviously everybody is or has been in the same boat.

Good Luck and let me know how you get on.  

Take care.

Lou x


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## mirry71 (May 13, 2007)

Thanks Louj...tell me - I know this is prob obvious - what is acidic mucus and what can you do about it? I've heard ref to it before but not sure what it is?
Best
mirry x


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## LoisLane (Apr 26, 2007)

Hi Mirry

It's basically acidic, so its hostile for the sperm and difficult for them to get through!  I'm using wheatgrass, which is great to make your body more alkaline, according to Zita West!  Also, you can do a douche with bicarbonate of soda, a FF gave me the details on what to do, so I shall attempt that shortly - LOL! 

How are you feeling now?

Take care  

Lou x


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## mirry71 (May 13, 2007)

Hey I'm ok. Hmm the douching with bicarb sounds interesting.
Looking forward to a time when I don't have this dragging sense of downness all the time. Got over the tax thing, it's not worth losing a friend over; it's a lot of money now but in 60 years...hey. Am however horrified to have read in the paper today that the ACU we were referred to by the GP has only a 15% success rate for women my age compared to the other one nearby which is 25%. Am worried that we have been sent somewhere really cr*p and don't know what to think...Am i overreacting??


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## LoisLane (Apr 26, 2007)

Hi Mirry

Glad the tax thing is sorted for you.

If you are NHS you can, I believe, choose which clinic you go to once the funding is in place, look into this for you area.

Keep  !

Lou x


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## Torry (Mar 1, 2007)

Hello everyone

Can I join you? I have just got funding and noticed mirrys situation.

mirry I know how you feel my sister has children too and it never upset me until we started strying for a baby and still am.  i chased up funding and now got 2 lots of iui and 1 lot of ivf we are going to exeter clinic after hearing good reports from the local girls. As for ivf/icsi they should explain to you what/why you need it ring that clinic and keep asking.  It is their duty to and you are their patient!  Also look at the clinics we went to Bristol for an open evening it was very impressive but just a bit too far for us.  I got information from other local clinics then we made up our minds and now on the waiting list  but feel happy as we are doing something again. I know it is stressful finding one but you will feel better for it. I was told you can choose your clinic it is in the new patients charter for any medical treatment.

coughsweet I have not told any workmates but our families do know our situation.  They have been smashing and I personally think it is better to have no secrets.  I do let off steam on here also and am meeting some local lasses soon through this site.  Where are you from?

louj I  am not following promise.     I trawl this site it is full of information and saw this.  

Will bump into you on the Devon Part 21 board and skittles.   Thanks for letting me know who you wrote to at the pct.

Torry
xxxx


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## mirry71 (May 13, 2007)

Hi girls
sorry not been around for a couple of days. went home for weekend for a wedding. Wimped out of telling parents due to hangover on Sunday. After all the stuff about not drinking anything during pregnancy thought as I definitely wasnt I might as well have one last blow out.....
Will ring clinic again and see what they say....15% just seems v low.
Hope you all had a good bank holiday
xxx


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## LoisLane (Apr 26, 2007)

Hi Mirry

No probs, I haven't been around either for a while as had a holiday in sunny crete  .

Hope things are good with you, sorry to hear you didn't get chance to tell your mum, sure that you will tell them when you are ready.

Take care

Lou x


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## coughsweet (Nov 21, 2006)

Hello Mirry

sorry haven't replied earlier. Hope you're doing ok and that the receptionist has been more helpful this time    

Torry - I am an Exeter girl - haven't posted on the Devon board yet though. Think I am being a bit of a shy scaredy-cat really! Are a lot of you meeting up soon? 

coughsweet x


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## LoisLane (Apr 26, 2007)

Hi Coughsweet

Yes Shine support group in Exeter have a skittles match arranged.  It's the first time I have been along to a meet and really looking forward to it.  The lady organising this is Shaz, you will find her posting on the Devon21 board.  You could always send her a PM if you are nervous of posting on there.  I know how you feel, it is scary to post the first time.

I've just looked out a leaflet for Shine, here is their web address www.exeter-shine.co.uk

Let me know how you get on.

Lou x


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## ally449 (Jun 6, 2007)

hi mirry71
I know just how you feel. I am 28 and my dh is 38. We have been ttc for 3 years now and have had no luck. My dh has a daughter to a previous marriage and because of this i feel he doesn't really understand the pain i am going thru. When i got my first letter for the fertility clinic i was probably as nervous as you are but when i got there the doctors where fantastic and so understanding. They took details of my family history and advised me of other tests they wanted to do. I wrote all my questions down before i went (a full a4 sheet) and they were happy to answer every one.
I know its easier said than done but try not to worry too much as the clinics deal with people in our situation every day and they know how sensitive and emotional it can be.

All the luck in the world
Ally x x x


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## LoisLane (Apr 26, 2007)

Hi Coughsweet

Just noticed that Shine do not like their web address put on this site.  If you ring Heavitree, I am sure they will give you their contact details, I picked the leaflet up from there.

Lou


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## mirry71 (May 13, 2007)

Hey Louj - how spooky everyone posting on the board at the same time!!!! Hope Crete was good.
HAve just posted another thread - appointment is brought forward to next week - yippee. So that is good news. (And it was a different receptionist not the horrid one which is even better!)
As I said last time wimped out of telling parents. DH then went ahead and emailed them to tell them. Got a very sweet email back off my dad - made me cry, was really touching. My mum didn't deal with it quite so well - she was lovely and well meaning but it was an awful lot of "I think you need to relax..." (aargh cant bear to hear that ever again!!) but she was trying in her way and was meaning it nicely.
They went off to see my sister and her new baby and obviosuly immediately told them because I got a message from my sister saying she was going to write me a letter. I did have a pang then about them all sitting round discussing Poor Mirry and Poor DH which was the last thing I wanted. But then got over myself and realised that they would have been doing it in a loving way. And I should have realised my mum wouldn't have been able to keep shtum and should have told everyone at the same time....Still having told them, I think I just want to lie low for a week til excitement (?!) over. 
Hi Ally - thank you for your post. it must be diff if you feel DH cant understand already having a daughter....but am glad to hear that the docs were lovely for you. I'm trying to thhink what questions I need to ask now (in fact started another thread on it) so if there are any key ones (not perosnal obv) that you think I shd ask wd welcome your advice...

xxx


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