# 2nd BFN after ICSI - positive stories needed please!



## April33 (Mar 3, 2011)

Hi ladies,

I've just had another BFN after my second cycle of ICSI  

Had a massive row with DH yesterday. He said a lot of things but one of the things that sticks in my mind is when he said that even if we have another cycle of ICSI it may not work and I have to accept that I may never be a mother.

I'm acutely aware of this and it's something that I think about every single day.

But him actually putting my thoughts into words has really destroyed any hope that I had of future treatment working. I can't imagine ever getting a BFP  !

I'd really appreciate some positive stories from people who have had two or more failed cycles but gone onto have a BFP. 

If there's anyone out there who really thought they would never get pregnant but then did get a BFP I'd really like to hear from you! 

Just need some      .

Thanks


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## Zargus (Jan 9, 2012)

Firstly   

Unfortunately I dont have any stories for you, I'd like to hear some though, I am positive there are some out there!!  

I do know that on average it takes couples 3 attempts to get pregnant.  I know you told me you were thinking of changing clinics, might be worth having a consultation to see what they think are your realistic chances of the treatment working.  Have you had any additional tests done?  AMH levels, immunes, etc?  

Shame on your DH for his cruel words tho.  Not making excuses for him but maybe it's his way of coping.  My DH said some horrible things to me on Saturday, the day I got my BFN and now a few days have passed I am sure he didnt mean them, he was just upset that results hadn't gone our way.  But men think differently from women, and I really dont think they understand just how devastating this whole process is for us women.  

Hope you're doing ok 

x


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## jennyes2011 (Jun 9, 2011)

Hi April33,

I don't have my own positive story to tell (yet!) - but just had to send a   - we have also just had our 2nd ICSI BFN literally today and it is just heartbreaking. We havent had our OTD yet, as AF arrived early.
However, my brother-in-law and wife were successful on their 3rd attempt, and I have read a few success stories on the internet. I read somewhere that Gordon Ramsey and his wife were successful on the 3rd attempt with 1, then on a 4th attempt had twins. They then went on to have a natural pregnancy! This story pops into my head quite a lot and gives me hope.

My DH was like that last time - like Vetty says it is just the way men deal with things (weird eh?)- I know he doesn't mean it.

We will become mothers I promise you! Got to stay positive and don't give up hope. Just think how happy you will be when it finally happens. 

Before your next go, you should look into a few things as Vitty mentioned. We are thinking of switching clinics too.

Lots of luck in your journey..
Jenny x


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## Carol2 (Jun 27, 2009)

Hi April33


I had success with my 3rd ICSI aged almost 41. My first 2 cycles results in chemical pregnancies. I was very depressed after my second cycle and was seriously considering donor eggs as I thought I had left things too late. In my second cycle I only produced 3 embryos but on on my third I made 4 embryos and went to the blast stage producing 3 blasts.. I then had 2 put back and had twins initially but one lost the heart beat at 8 weeks. My DD is now 9 months old and I had an FET od the single blast left week and just had a BFP so fingers crossed!


I have absolutely no idea why the third cycle was so much better than the second as the protocol was identical. Perhaps because I did it in the summer I believe that is supposed to affect fertility!

Best wishes for your next cycle and try not to lose hope.


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## Shellosh (Mar 15, 2008)

Hi April33, I know how hard it is to receive a BFN, I have had one today and it is tough, but DON'T give up. 


I had two failed ICSIs and one failed FET, then I moved clinics and had immune treatment and on my 3rd fresh ICSI with my new clinic, fell pregnant with my little girl who is currently fast asleep and snoring.  


I felt exactly the same as you, It is so so hard to go through this.  I honestly never thought I would ever have a baby and my husband said a similar thing to me.  I remember thinking if that's the case then I'll never be happy.  I made my mind up a long time ago that I would keep trying for as long as I could afford it or until the Drs told me to stop.  


I know people who have had in excess of 10 tries of ICSI and eventually succeeded, now I know that's a daunting prospect but if you think about it logically, that is only the equivalent of 10 months of trying naturally!  


You're still young, don't give up, I know you can't see it now but it will happen for you one day. 


Shellosh xx


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## April33 (Mar 3, 2011)

Thank you all for your replies.

Vetty - I had my follow-up consultation over the weekend and now I'm wondering whether to stay at my current clinic for a third cycle  ! I'm still undecided about immune testing, I think I'm going to see my GP about level 1 immune tests but may defer having level 2 immune tests done just yet. As you say, it takes the average lady three attempts so perhaps I just need a bit more patience and perseverance! I can see now that DH only said what he did because he cares and doesn't like to see me upset, I just don't feel he communicated this in the best way!

Jenny -   for your BFN. Thanks for sharing your positive stories, will try to keep them in mind when negativity starts to creeps in!

Carol2 - Congratulations on your BFP  ! I was actually thinking of having my next cycle in Spring/Summer! Both of my cycles have been early in the year - the first time I had gastroenteritis a week before I was due to start my medication and this time I had loads of trouble with asthma/cold/chest infection, which meant I was on medication (antibiotics etc.) as I started stimming. I'm not convinced this helped me either time!

Shellosh - So sorry to hear about your BFN also  . I feel exactly the same - I have told myself that I will keep trying for as long as I can afford it, until I get advised to stop or when I reach a certain age on which I've secretly decided! I just wish DH felt the same way! I have never thought of it that way, 10 ICSI cycles being the equivalent of 10 months of trying naturally. That does make me feel better actually, given how long it can take to conceive naturally even if everything is ok with both partners - although I think I'd be   after so many cycles!


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## BeeBows (Feb 21, 2012)

This morning never mind at least I can have a take away and a can of coke tonight - my body is a temple is out of the window this weekend!!! (Not a conselation but it is what we gave up to 'fix' our diets to being more healthy)

Offered a follow up next Friday, but am taking a break and reviewing in April when I am a little less upset....can't sit there crying, not a good look as I go red and blotchy lol.

DH is very upset, I hate to see him feeling so helpless and responsible. He is very supportive and his was of coping is
booking a holiday tomorrow for August and depending on the review we will go again Aug / Sept. (Who knows may happen naturally by then!)

Two very different ICSI cycles on the same drugs, *heres to third time lucky.*

Good luck lovely ladieeees x


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## jennyes2011 (Jun 9, 2011)

BeeBows. I know how you feel x It gets easier - had our bfn about 20 days or so ago and feeling hopeful again. Make sure you do something different this time.
I've had some level 1 immunes tested which came back negative. We have switched clinics, and are going to ask to be put on progesterone and steroids. I am also going to ask for a HSG or hysteroscopy although I know they are hard to get on the NHS. I'm also doing the mycoplasma/ureaplasma/hidden-c test with Serum, Athens (via the post).
Good luck  to you both xxx

Jenny


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## Shellebell (Dec 31, 2004)

You only have to look at how busy the pg boards are on FF to see that TX does work, just not for everyone every time 

please now continue your chatter together on the BFN thread
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=278545.0


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