# Agency or independant..which is best



## Maggydoll (Oct 17, 2013)

Would people suggest places like cots? Iv been avoiding it but be good to hear peoples experiences with it as im not getting very far with this myself :s
Thanks


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## Raincloudsandlovesongs (Oct 5, 2013)

I personally prefer independent but there are down falls, like if anyone was struggling with the process there is no advice and if you were to disagree you would need to sort it out yourselves. Overall though if you find the right IP's and are sure of you decision there is nothing wrong with independently matching.  Cots and Surrogacy UK have a very good reputation. There is also a new one called Brilliant Beginnings that I've heard some not too great things about to be honest. I don't have much experience either but have been researching the last few months and am now matched.


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## Maggydoll (Oct 17, 2013)

Yeah you hear good and bad stories from them all, might check it out as there is no harm in that i guess. Congratz on finding your match  gl with it all


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## heidiandrichie (Dec 12, 2013)

Hi Rainclouds, what did you hear about Brilliant Beginnings? I've been looking at their site. Thanks! H xx


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## Raincloudsandlovesongs (Oct 5, 2013)

Not convinced they are non profit as the charge £3000 for IP's and also they do not turn town any surrogates only suggest they apply again after counselling. I asked this non profit organization for impartial advice and they refused to give unless my IP's at the time paid thousands. It also took them days to get back to me, but when a good friend of mine (a paying IP) wanted to ask a question they got back to him in ten minutes.


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Hi there and hope it's not inappropriate for me to respond to this - as you probably know, I'm a co-owner of Brilliant Beginnings, which is being run by myself and Helen Prosser (who also runs Natalie Gamble Associates with me).

We are, of course, non-profit making. The law in the UK does not allow commercial arrangement of surrogacy, and (as you would expect of lawyers) we operate fully within the law. We have also had very careful discussions with the Department of Health and the HFEA about what we are doing. Also, when speaking to IPs and surrogates, we signpost to SUK and COTS so that everyone knows there is a choice. We are also guiding IPs on international surrogacy options too.

We do charge intended parents more than COTS and Surrogacy UK (although this works in stages and not all upfront) but that is because we are professionally rather than volunteer-run and the service we offer is different, with personal management throughout the process (the kind of service parents usually have to go abroad to access). Any resources we make over and above our costs are spent on our campaigning work. As seasoned FFers will know, we've long fought to make things better for surrogacy (more info here http://www.brilliantbeginnings.co.uk/campaigning/our-past-successes) and we want to do even more to make surrogacy more accessible and acceptable in the UK.

Raincloudsandlovesongs - I'm so sorry if we didn't respond as quickly as you would have liked. We have been inundated with enquiries since we launched in September (lots of people wanting to understand the new service) and we are getting back to people as quickly as we can, though do bear with us. We are certainly not prioritising IPs over surrogates and I'm not sure what you mean when you say that we don't turn surrogates down and that we send them to get counselling before we will speak to them. Helen is spending a lot of time talking to potential surrogates, and it's important all the information and support needed is given so they can make an informed choice about the best way to proceed. We've had a few surrogates who we've directed to other organisations like SUK if their approach is more suited, and we don't require counselling first.

I hope that clarifies, but I'm very happy or do email Helen directly at [email protected] to answer any questions any of you have.

Natalie


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## Rowan22 (Dec 29, 2008)

Hi Maggydoll,

We're with COTS and we've found them helpful and friendly. Unfortunately, because of the way the agencies have to operate in this country there can be a very long wait, we've waited eighteen months so far. There are no specific matching criteria as far as I know, profiles of IPs get circulated to surrogates and they choose. 
We decided against SUK because my husband is simply not a party animal and their approach centres around meetings and get togethers and making friends that way. 
In the case of Brilliant Beginnings, I'm afraid the issue is money. As a surrogate can charge up to £15,000 or so for expenses (though a lot of them don't want anything like this amount), we simply don't have another three or four spare thousand on top, especially as we're hoping to move house soon. Having said that, we've paid COTS a thousand pounds so far. 
I didn't want to go the inde route simply because I thought an agency offered a little more security but opinions differ. 
Hope you find the best route for you.

Rowanxx


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## Janey waney (Sep 3, 2013)

I'm aim do surrogate but have been with agency. But had bad experience wudnt do it again I think it's such a rip off for Ips PAYIN out all that money to them when they have enuff to pay for treatment and surrogate expences


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

We had our daughter with SUK 7 years ago, when they were a tiny organisation. They are much bigger now but friendship first is still their motto and although some arrangements have broken down it has never happened after a pregnancy was achieved.
You really don't have to be a party animal either, my husband certainly isn't and we still found a surrogate.
Yes we put in the effort to attend socials and posted on the message board, but at the end of the day our surrogate picked us off our profile.
I do think some of the other organisations do charge a lot and to justify it by saying they offer a professional service with personal management well. Surrogacy isn't that complicated a procedure really and you could get the relevant info from the internet so I'm not sure what you need to be personally managed for. SUK can offer the same support and info for a lot less money.
Love 
EJJB
x


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## liwi31 (Apr 26, 2013)

I am a COTS surro, although would not be adverse to matching indy next time round (if there's a next time round!) should the right couple come along as I now know so much more and have met lots of people on indy journeys.  I think the attraction to COTS for me initally WAS the huge amount of couples waiting, I felt secure knowing that they had paid to join and had been waiting patiently..surrogacy is a massive thing for both IP's and Surros and I wanted to be sure my couple were truly, 100% into it. However, I am now nearly half way through my pregnancy and I can honestly say COTS support has been virtually nil...a monthly/6 weekly 30 second phone call really does not make me feel supported from them.  Im not sure how SUK or BB are in supporting their girls, but I feel this is something COTS need to defo improve on as ultimately it will lose them invaluable surros.  I have heard on the grapevine there is currently around 50 couples waiting on the COTS books (and I, for one, often wonder where their £1000 membership fee goes as it defo doesn't appear to be where it is actually needed!).


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