# So depressed, please let it be the drugs!



## kerrys (Feb 28, 2005)

Hi everyone,

I am currently undergoing dreg for IVF #2 and am so down, please let it just be the nasal spray making me feel this way.

I am due to start the injections tomorrow so hopefully this black cloud will lift.  Just dreading the outcome and realy letting it get me down, if I fail this is it, I will never have another newborn in my heart, arms or home and the thought is killing me.  I have the most wonderful little boy who is full of life and I love more than I can say but this last week or so it has just caught up with me that THIS IS THE LAST EVER CHANCE.  What if I never ever get to use any of the stuff I have packed away in the roof space.  I just feel so desperate and I don't want it to get me down and effect my son but it's just so unfair.

None of my friends would understand this feeling, they would all be like 'you have one, can't you just be happy' and I understand and I am happy but they could never understand unless they have been in the same boat.

Sorry for the rant.

Kerry xo


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## lovetoswim (Oct 26, 2009)

I completely understand the feeling of desperately wanting that second child.  I too have a pile of beautiful clothes and other bits and pieces packed away in the hope that they can be used again.  I have given most things away, but I have held onto the most precious things.  

I am also in the "last chance saloon".  I am downregging at the moment and if all goes well I am due to have my scan to start the injections on Tue 23rd Feb.  I have never done a long protocol before as I've previously done the quick short cycle, so this long period of sniffing is new to me and I don't like it at all.  It seems to be going on for ever.  I felt very cold at the beginning but that seems to have worn off now.  My main problem is I can't sleep.  I seem to be on overdrive all the time whilst being tired at the same time.  They have been very clear at the clinic that my chances are pretty much zero and that it is unlikely that I will get as far as egg collection.  They are calling this my "closure" cycle.  The only way forward after this is a donor egg but I am trying to keep positive and not jump forward until this cycle actually comes to an end.

Wishing you all the best for your precious number two.

X


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