# And again.....



## Sunset (Sep 21, 2008)

Hi Girls
This past while has been 'a challenge'. A v close friend has started trying for another child; a work colleague has just announced her pregnancy; friend has just announced she's pregnant via IVF; woman in work has became an aunt for the first time.
What can I say. Of course I'm delighted for them, especially my friend who has gone through IVF. We're married less than a year, and I can't help but make comparisons with a colleague who also got married recently...lots of 'baby-chat' - she is v broody!
And me.... not sure really. Trying desperately to be positive and to count my many blessings. Can't help but think that it's just so unfair. I would love nothing more than to be planning a family of our own. Instead, I sit on the sidelines as colleagues talk about babies; I politely decline to hold a new baby as a proud new Mother brings her baby into work. How must that look to others!? When I met up with friends I dread the conversations about sleepless nights/teething/choosing schools....that's right - what would I know!!
I end up putting up so many barriers to protect myself.... It's just all so hard. It's so so so so unfair. Yes, I know that I am so fortunate in so many ways. Just feeling a bit sorry for myself... I know I'll prob be fine tomorrow. I just wish so much that things were different. 
Why is life just so unfair??
x


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## Debs (Mar 22, 2002)

Sunset you have every right to feel the way you do  

Work is difficult - I take it they dont know your position?  I think if it was me I may be would tell them enough for them to realise that continuous babychat isnt really fair on others and the reason I say this is because it will be a very long 9 months for you to deal with.  Could you not have a discreet word with a manager?

I am the same as you - I count my blessings daily - but by the same token I realise there are situations I cant and dont want to be around so dont feel guilty for thinking that.

Hope you are feeling a bit brighter today  

Love

Debs xxx


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## NickyRich (Sep 12, 2012)

Sunset-reading your post I feel I could have written it myself!  Had 3rd (and final) failed IVF cycle in Oct and returned to work to find another of the teachers is pregnant.  Two teachers were pregnant last term, my friend has just given birth, my two cousins are pregnant.  I find it SO hard when the talk in the staffroom inevitable turns to babies/pregnancies and children!  I tend to find something else to do/concentrate on during these sessions as I have nothing to contribute!  I find I really need to push myself to congratulate on pregnancies etc and feel awful when it doesn't come naturally!  The pregnant teacher spends all her time rubbing her 'bump'-which she is bound to do-but I feel a kick in the stomach every time she does!  I wish I could give you a big hug hun-I know exactly how you are feeling xxxxx


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## Sunset (Sep 21, 2008)

Girls
Thanks for your replies. Only a very few people v close friends know that I can't have children. It's not something that I share with many family/friends. So, I really wouldn't want to talk to anyone in work.
Somedays I cope ok, other days not so much. When I first posted it was one of those days when I wasn't feeling v resiliant.
Thanks for providing me with a 'sounding board' when I just need to give off (a little!)!!

x


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