# Adoption buddies: Panel November/December 2013 (hopefully)



## EverHopefulmum (Sep 23, 2009)

Hi,

I've been lurking around here for a while now, but finally decided to post.

We have been doing home study since June 13. Our social worker has told us she is aiming for a panel date in late November. I'm obviously excited but since she originally told us we could get to panel in September and then we suffered a long delay I'm slightly sceptical and think December is more likely.

She still has to interview our references and i'm not sure how long that will take - guess it depends on what they say! but feel like we must be close with everything else, we seem to be answering the same questions over & over.

Just so desperate to get a panel date i can believe.......Plus keep thinking something is going to go wrong in the meantime.

Love to hear from people who are expecting a similar panel date, would be helpful to compare where you think you are in terms of all your PAR info & make sure i'm not the only one driving myself mad with this.

EverHopefulMum x


----------



## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Hello everhopefulmum,

We have been booked onto panel 3rd Dec and hope we are ready in time!

SW is rather scatty!  She's lovely and I do trust her to do a good job but I'm not pinning all my hopes on 3rd Dec!

The admin team seem to have had problems which have resulted in the majority of them walking out, this explains why our references & medical forms have not been sent out yet  

We've had 2 HS visits (which have been long ones 4-6 hours each)  Have completed various homework pieces & sent her a draft of our profile for her to check, amend & send to family finders.

Fingers crossed your panel date comes true


----------



## DRocks (Sep 13, 2013)

Hi this is my first post.
Myself and my DP are looking at a early Dec panels date also.
We started our home study mid sep and have only had one SW visit as we have both been on holiday. We have visits booked in for the next two weeks and also our medicals. I'm very worried about this as I'm obese but the SW doesn't seem bothered.

We are a same sex couple and have both been in childcare for 20 years and are still very nervous.


----------



## DRocks (Sep 13, 2013)

Trinajc said:


> Hello everhopefulmum,
> 
> We have been booked onto panel 3rd Dec and hope we are ready in time!
> 
> ...


I think we know each other?


----------



## EverHopefulmum (Sep 23, 2009)

Hello & welcome to Trinajc and DisneyrocksH glad to see there are some people with similar dates to me. Hopefully we can all help each other remain sane during this crazy process. 

We have actually had 9 HS sessions (averaging 3 hours a session) to date but like i said though we had one specific issue that meant we suffered a delay sorting it. Then SW had a 4 week holiday, then came back one week and went off again for another weeks holiday. We have one more session booked which I hope is the last one, but I'm afraid we will need at least one more on top of that, plus maybe a session once she has completed the PAR.

We also have an observation session coming up where SW wants to observe us with a couple of our friends children.....awkward!

My main concern timing wise though is the meetings with the references as she has to write them up and get them signed by the references and sent back which at her pace could take a while, plus one written reference already got lost in they mail/system somewhere so I don't trust it will be a smooth ride......I guess i hate the bits i have no control over, plus i wish they could just do things like that over email, but they won't.

Anyway, hope you guys are more relaxed about the whole thing than me.....i'm driving my husband crazy.

xx


----------



## Beckyboo3 (Jan 18, 2011)

Hello

Can I join this thread please ?! I'm very much of a lurker but read all the posts so think its time to join in !

We started Home Study in April and were booked for panel in August but we started buying a house at the same time which should have taken six weeks ( the house was empty and we were in rented accommodation) but took forever and didn't move in to end of August so had to delay Panel .......... Which was very stressful and upsetting.

Our SW was on holiday in September and came out to see us last week, she doesn't think we will make November but fingers crossed December panel ! She told us our Medicals had been lost  but now had copies and she just had to see two of our References ......

Majority of our prep group has gone to panel and passed so I know it works and two have been matched !

Just don't like the waiting and not knowing what's going on but nice to know a few of us could be going to panel before Christmas !

Beckyboo x


----------



## EverHopefulmum (Sep 23, 2009)

Welcome on board Beckyboo, the more the merrier. Fingers crossed that despite the delay due to moving that you are approved by christmas. I'm keep saying if i am approved by then i won't need any presents as i'll already be so happy.....thats not true i will want to start buying for a little one!

On my front, I had last HS session yesterday and have no more appointments booked in as our SW is about to start writing up our PAR. Just needs to do our reference visits, two of the three are booked in for next week. Want the final reference to be booked in so I know things are going along nicely in the areas I have some sort of control over, having said that I'm still anxious something will go wrong ie despite knowing they will try to say all the right things, that something will be misinterpreted by SW.....

Just hope we can make Nov panel. When i asked SW if we were on track she said "I definitely think so, if not it will be Dec" nice to know she is willing to commit!!! 

Everhopefulmum x


----------



## EverHopefulmum (Sep 23, 2009)

Hey everyone,


SW has confirmed that panel date will be 25th Nov - no time set yet, but should receive an official letter soon (i'm so inpatient, i want it in my grubby hand now!!!). Can't tell you how excited/nervous I am. Please please please let this be the final straight to approval  


That means all the paperwork needs to be submitted on 12th nov. Working backwards, SW manager needs to have approved the report and me & hubby need to review and approve so hopefully we should see something by end next week, right? But, have a feeling it will all be rushed and last minute.  How long have do most people get to review? Are there likely to be big errors or disagreements on what has been written? I've no idea but my mind is going ten to the dozen.


Seems SW has said really positive things to our references about us, but never said anything good to us directly.....is this normal, is it considered unprofessional to tell us we would make good parents?


I thought i'd be feeling relieved at this stage but I'm a wreak. This hasn't been helped by the fact hubby said "don't get too excited, one of us might drop dead by 25th Nov"......nice


----------



## roonie (Oct 20, 2010)

Hi I wonder if I can join in.  My husband and I started our hs in late August and were originally told panel date of 
20th November, however we were told last night that due to panel having been over booked we are now delayed until 4th December, 
I don't mind TOO much but this now means 5 weeks to wait instead of 3 and I am starting to get impatient!
Our SW is a pretty good but she does seem scatty too and her communication is not always good enough for me, I want to know where
we stand at all times but I think from what I have read on here most of us are in the same boat.  We both want more reassurance 
but often too nervous to push for it incase it is taken as a "black mark"!  This process is certainly testing isn't it, I just want
to get to panel now. . . it feels like it will never happen sometimes.  Luckily I work full time and keep busy in the week but weekends are always the time I am reminded that we are still waiting for our child....everyone else we know now has children and their free time is spent with them, doing things for them etc (as it should be) and I feel left behind at times.  The thing is I don't want to start preparing a room for our child yet or buying things as we are both too superstitous to do this until we know we are approved....oh what to do what to do!! Just need to keep busy I guess and continue adding items to the amazon wish list!  )
Sorry to ramble! 
Roonie x


----------



## EverHopefulmum (Sep 23, 2009)

Hi Roonie, welcome on board.

So sorry to hear that you've had your panel date moved, it's a really tough journey that we are all impatient to get to the end of.

I've come from a corporate job background and i too find the communication side of things really tough. I'm used to clear regular updates as standard, but if i ask my sw where things stand I swear she looks at me like i'm an alien. They have a tough job, but this is our lives & sometimes i think they forget that & I'm climbing the walls waiting to see my PAR.

Hang in there everyone.
Everhopefulmum x


----------



## EverHopefulmum (Sep 23, 2009)

It's all been a bit stressful and last minute but finally got our PAR to review over the weekend - and despite the fact my SW has terrible grammar (that I had to resist changing), the overall feel is very positive. Even my cats got a good write up too which made me smile. There are a couple of frustrating things in there, but hey don't sweat the small stuff right?

She should be submitting all the paperwork today (yeah), & now it's less than two weeks to panel......excited but so scared, just praying to get through the experience without fainting or being physically sick & get a big fat yes of course 

I bought a new dress last week from white stuff so I think I have the panel outfit covered (subject to changing my mind 10 times over on the day) but still need dh & me to practice possible panel questions! Dreading getting "how did you find the process?" There is no way I can answer that honestly!

Hope everyone's journey is going well.
Everhopefulmum x


----------



## DRocks (Sep 13, 2013)

We have 4 weeks and 5 days till ours (just writing that has we wanting the loo).
Never been so nervous in my life. We got a rough copy of our PAR yesterday and overall it was quite good but just some things need tweeking when we see our SW tomorrow.

I hope we don't get the how did you find the process question as well, because we will have to be honest.


----------



## EverHopefulmum (Sep 23, 2009)

Hi Disneyrocks,


Wow, you're social worker seems more organised than mine. As I said ours ended up being really rushed, we got our PAR on friday about 5pm and had to have it back first thing monday. It shows that ours was rushed in the spelling & grammar, my natural reaction would have been to correct it but my husband told me not to - guess it reflects on her, not us but i would have liked things to be "perfect". I suppose she will be there to clarify anything the panel are confused about.


You're brave to answer the "how was the process" question honestly....well i guess it depends on your experience, but i'm gonna have to hold my tongue. But then i'm just a scaredy cat!


4 weeks will rush by, fingers crossed for you, but i'm sure it will all be fine.


x


----------

