# Struggling after BFN



## Mrs Moo

Its taken me till now to post anything as I been feeling really emotional and have been struggling to cope with everything that has happened to me this year I just want to see the back end of 2010!!! I have been back to work for 3mnths and had no support from my manager who has only just noticed how upset I'm getting.  1 of my best friends has a 6mnth old and another is due any day now and its so hard to feel so upset and so happy for them both at the same time, I really dont understand how I feel this way but when I listen to everyone else on FF I understand I am not alone  I'm not a jealous person I just want to be a mother so much.

I have organised  to have some free counsilling sessions through work and I have heard wonderful feedback so I'm hoping it will help me come to terms with everything and more so get in a positive frame of mind before we start our 2 IVF cycle next year I'm a little nervous about opening up to a complete stranger but I do it on FF and it really helps me with things other people dont understand and its not their fault its just they havent experienced it!

I can lose the plot and burst into tears out of nowhere sometimes through people mentioning babies other times just when I'm stressed through my job when in the past I have normally coped with it ok.  I thought I would be mentally ok after the operations this year on the road to recovery from Endo and IVF but it has hit me harder than what I could even imagine. 

I'm sure there are more tears to follow but I'm just praying 2011 will be a good year and that goes out to everyone else who is going through this turbulent time   xx


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## EH

you are definitely not alone in the way you feel. I was exactly the same and found myself distancing myself from friends and family even. It was a long hard road but thankfully all the hard work, tears, money was well worth it in the end. You will have ups and downs on this rocky road and no matter how hard you try to keep it together you won't always be able to. Keep talking to people that understand, this is a very good start. I would like to say that I found speaking to my partner helpful but I think men and women are very different and at times I think he thought I was blaming him, we felt very different and in the end we didn't really speak about it, I just made the decisions and he agreed. One bit of advice is to keep you and your partners relationship strong. The IVF road really ruined much of me and partners last 10 years and I look back and wish I'd had a crystal ball so we hadn't got ourselves in so much mess. 

Time goes so fast, you will achieve your dream.

EH x


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## Shellebell

Firstly  hun, you nef not alone on FF  
Have you taken a look at the Negative Cycle Board  
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=42.0

 for 2011


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