# egg sharing questions please help ladies



## jayne682 (Feb 16, 2013)

Hi all 

Well my husband and I have started the process. We have been seen by the clinic. I have had an AMH test and husband and sperm test and basically the only option for us is ICSI so we cannot afford the cost so I have decided to egg share. I have an appointment for a scan next week to check tubes. 

I feel okay about egg sharing and feel that its nice for someone to have a baby as much as I want another one but I am very unsure of the rules/process. 

My questions are - 

1. I was born with a cleft palate however they have said that I am okay to donate as it is not hereditary - I was really worried about that

2. I had discussed when we have our eggs implanted that the eggs that are fertilised are frozen. can the egg donor recipient also freeze eggs and later have another child using my eggs? I would want to know if any child was made with my eggs.

3. How many eggs do I have to make?

4. what is everyone experience who has egg shared? Did you and recipient have babies?? 

5. the clinic have said they will put one fertilised egg back but we can have two if we sign a form - are odds increased with two? I'm okay about twins but I think my husband would faint lol 

Thank you sooo much for your help


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

it's a generous and kind act to share your eggs. But i'm shocked that you seem to have a problem with the recipient freezing any spare embryos. You are basically saying they must destroy them, before they even know if their cycle has worked. How would you feel if someone donated you say 6 eggs, and four fertilised, and you were allowed to put one or two back but forced to destroy the others? Even though at that stage you would not know if you were pregnant or not? I just can't imagine anyone accepting your egg donation on that basis since it would be a dreadful situation to be in. If they freeze them they will have to pay for freezing, so if you said it was ok to freeze them until they found out if they had a BFP, and then force them to destroy them after they got a BFP, they would still have had to pay £500 for freezing... plus if they then miscarried, how would they feel? 

the way i see it if you give an egg away, it's no longer yours, end of. It's an amazing thing to do but if you can't give them away freely why do it?


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## nichub (Sep 2, 2010)

Hi Jayne- 

I have egg shared on 2 occasions and thought I may be able to help you with a few of your questions

1. Have they already confirmed that you can egg share with a cleft? If so then don't worry

2. You will always have the right in the uk to know how many children are produced as a result of your eggs as it is no longer. Anonymous so when  the child is 18 they have the right to request your information

3. Most clinics want you to get either 6 or 8 eggs at least, when I did it I had to get 6

4. I never actually found out whether my recipient was lucky because I didn't feel that the information would benefit me at the time, however I have just had my first bfp so if all goes well for me then I will

5. You would have to weigh up your options with your  DH there are obviously loads of things to consider with the possibility of twins eg. Health risks to you, increased chance of prematurity, financial aspect etc having said that I have recently had 2 blasts put back so I'm not trying to away you away  from putting 2 back but to make an informed decision

I wish you the best for your journey

Nic
Xx


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## jayne682 (Feb 16, 2013)

Thanks for your replies x

Goldbunny - I do think that it is a nice thing to do but for me I would just want to know if the recipient has gotten a BFP/baby and would wonder how many children she went on to have if she froze embryos too. I wouldn't think of them as my baby obviously they would be the recipients but I would be naturally curious whether multiple pregnancies for the recipient could come from my egg share with them. I am positive about egg sharing however like most people on their first time have some worries hence why I came on here and I just wanted to know the basics really. 

The information out there about recipients isn't always very clear. I wondered if she went on to have a baby and wanted another later would she have to come back to me or she could use the frozen embryos? 

Nic - thank you so much for your reply xx have you donated to the same recipient and big congratulations on your BFP - do you know if your expecting twins? you must be very excited  

I am just a bit nervous about everything at the moment. I have a daughter conceived naturally but desperately want to have a child with my husband who I lovely dearly and he has a very low sperm count so ICSI is our only option. 

Thanks  xx

I have a scan this week whether they check my tubes etc xxx


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Hi Jayne
welcome!
I also egg shared, and on my fresh cycle and FET I got pregnant both times (I miscarried the first pregnancy from that cycle) but my recipient did not.
She had some embryos frozen (I don't think people go through egg sharing to freeze the eggs, they would be freezing their embryos) but has not used those yet.
You have to feel strong enough to want this information, so at first I didn't want to find out how her cycle had gone but when I went in for my FET I asked and was told there was no pregnancy for my recipient (yet).
You will have to contact the clinic for updates, as they won't volunteer this information unless you ask  

GB I am not sure I agree with your view that Jayne implies she'd be unhappy if her recipient froze any embies, she just asked what is happening usually, that's all.

In order to share your eggs, you have to get a minimum of 8 eggs total, of which 4 are for you and 4 for your recipient, your clinic should give you a full info leaflet on why that is.
I got 12 and kept 6, and 4 of mine fertilized (no ICSI). All made it to blastocyst stage although one didn't survive the thaw when I had my FET.

If you have two or more embryos transferred (you can only have 3 if you are over 40 and if it's not your first cycle at my clinic) your pregnancy rate doesn't increase by very much, but your chance of having twins does.
Although I know at least two women who had two eggs transferred and got pregnant with only one baby.
More info is on the oneatatime website, which explains risks of twin/multiple pregnancies to mums and babies. My sonographer told me she had experienced two embryos splitting, making two sets of identical twins (quads) for one mum, which must have been a huge shock! But I guess it must be very rare.
Best of luck!

P.S> Jayne I don't think they will pay any attention to your tubes on your scan, as those aren't necessary for IVF  They will probably just be checking your womb and ovaries x


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## nichub (Sep 2, 2010)

Jayne, it's always nerve wracking Hun, and it doesn't get any easier!! 

I'm not sure about whether there are 2 or 1 in there as yet I have a scan in a couple of weeks

I really wish you all the best 

Nic
Xx


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## jayne682 (Feb 16, 2013)

Broodychick thank you so much for your advice and story and I am so sad to hear about your miscarriages :-( hope you get your baby soon xx

I guess your clinic said yet meaning she has yet to use the Frozen Embryos. I think for me I would just like to know and wouldn't want to have to chase for years with the clinic whether she had a pregnancy or not and how many babies were made from my eggs. 

The whole process is nerve racking - I decided to donate my eggs as I think its a nice thing to do and for another person to have joy when hopefully I will too. I always like to know all the facts (just the person that I am) do you find out any information about your recipient e.g. how many eggs fertilised etc?

Thanks
Amanda 

And Nic - good luck for your scan - have you got terrible morning sickness? xx


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## jayne682 (Feb 16, 2013)

Goldbunny - did you use DE or donate eggs? congratulations on your baby x


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## jayne682 (Feb 16, 2013)

I forgot to add Nic I was told that my cleft would not be a problem when I completed the forms last week - do you know any different with being a nurse? I have googled this (I pretty much google everything) and have found little info other than its none hereditary xx


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## nichub (Sep 2, 2010)

Jayne, I have a little morning sickness, not much though, I still have the delightful effects of OHSS, 

Regarding the cleft, my friend wanted to donate some of her eggs and was refused purely on the fact she had cleft lip and palate, but different clinics may have their own rules, I know some clinics wouldn't let me egg share because I have PCOS but care did so I went with them, if you have already confirmed it's not a problem don't let it worry you 

Nic
Xx


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hi there, just to add some of my experience:



> 2. I had discussed when we have our eggs implanted that the eggs that are fertilised are frozen. can the egg donor recipient also freeze eggs and later have another child using my eggs? I would want to know if any child was made with my eggs.


I would think it unlikely as very few clinics freeze eggs. Normally with an egg share cycle your eggs are used by the recipients to directly create embryos. 
If you mean can they freeze their spare embryos or not that's a different matter. I do recall ticking a box saying that the may / may not donate unused embryos for research but that's an ethical thing that I was able to decide upon. But I don't recall having anywhere on the forms to indicate whether a recipient can freeze the embryos or not; beyond the ethical research question, I don't believe the donor has any rights over the eggs once they are donated and embryos created with them. 
Frankly, if I were a recipient and that was a restriction put upon me, I would probably decline that donor anyway; for lots of reasons people want to freeze the embryos - it could be that she's not actually ready to have transfer just yet (maybe her lining didn't thicken up or she has commitments but didn't want to turn down the ideal donor to have to wait again), or it could be that the recipients would like a chance of their siblings being of the exact same genetic stock so would like to freeze any spares for a future attempt. Or they just want to try again with the same donation if that cycle fails. The recipients pay a lot of money for their cycles because they're making up for what yours is subbed by, so it stands to reason they'd want to maximise the amount of chances they get from each donation. If you're unsure about allowing the recipient the flexibility of the options to manage their own choices for family size and future treatments then perhaps you should consider if egg sharing is suitable for you.



> 3. How many eggs do I have to make?


My clinic was a minimum of 8, with the odd number going to the donor (e.g. if I got 9 then I'd have 5 and the donor have 4). If I'd made fewer than 8 then I'd have the option to donate all (and have a free cycle for myself later) or keep them all and pay full price for my cycle, but that would forfeit me any right to take part in future egg share cycles. If I'd produced more than about 16, then there was a chance they might be shared three ways (i.e. between myself and 2 donors giving us at least 4 each). That does rarely happen but worth checking with your clinic if that's the case as I know of at least one lady at my clinic who didn't realise this, got over 20 eggs and was disappointed to realise she was going to get less than the 10 she thought she'd have.



> 4. what is everyone experience who has egg shared? Did you and recipient have babies??


I did it 4 times. 
#1: BFN for me, biochem pregnancy for recipent. 
#2 BFP for me, followed my m/c, BFP and live birth for recipient. 
#3 BFN for me, BFP for recipient followed by m/c 
#4 BFP and live birth for me, but I never went back to ask about the recipient that time. 
Each time I produced between 9 and 14 eggs, on two occasions having enough embryos to freeze and getting two FET cycles out of them. I did have some of freezable quality on my last cycle too but we elected not to freeze them as we'd decided that was to be our last go no matter what anyway.



> 5. the clinic have said they will put one fertilised egg back but we can have two if we sign a form - are odds increased with two? I'm okay about twins but I think my husband would faint lol


Technically odds per embryo are not increased by having two put back but it's a bit like throwing dice to get a six; if you throw one die, you may have to throw it several times to get a six, but if you've got two dice that you throw together then you're more likely to get at least one of them to land on a six in less overall throws; the odds are still the same for each dice but the overall odds are better. The clinic ought to be able to calculate out your specific odds of success with SET. If they are reasonable and you're happy with them, then you may as well opt for SET if you definitely do not want twins. If you're prepared to take the risk of having twins, go for two. It's also worth considering that a single embryo can still split into identical twins and this is more likely (for some reason) with blast transfers than not. 
I would also ask them to calculate your odds with one or two either at 3day transfer, or at blast stage as this will give you better comparison. You could always say to them that if they can get your embryos to blast stage you'll have one, but if it's three day transfer you want two. Legally there's no law enforcing single embryo transfer yet and you are still paying so you can ask them to cater to your needs.
I just want to add that I had 2 embryos at three days for all my transfers, even the FET ones, and it still took me 6 goes to get (and stay) pregnant and I only have a singleton child. On paper I looked like a perfectly easy candidate for an easy get-her-pregnant patient before my first cycle but this and subsequent failures threw up a whole load of other issues I never realised we'd be contending with. You never really know until you start the process.

Hope that helps answer some of your questions.


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## jayne682 (Feb 16, 2013)

Thanks nic and congrats again xx

I do hope I wont be disappointed at last min and they say I cant cause of cleft :-( X


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## jayne682 (Feb 16, 2013)

Caz thank you so much for your reply. Its very helpful. I do want to egg share. I would want to know if babies were made thats all and not have to ask for x years. If I froze embryos too how long do they last in freeze? Do they work the same? 

Very new to icsi are the chances more or less with icsi than ivf? I have one child conceived naturally but desperately want a sibling and a child with my husband xxx


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

I understand what you mean. It never occurred to me to find out if my embryos ever got frozen and used later by any of my recipients; but I would think it is possible. I think it really just depends on whether you want to know or not. I didn't particularly care to know but only found out because it was pertinent to whether I could share again for the last time and what exactly was stopping them implanting successfully in me (i.e. was it my eggs or my body that was the issue).  That said the first three of my donations were before the anonymity laws changed and it's only the last one that there might be a chance (if it was successful) of a donor conceived child wanting to look me up in future. I have to admit, once I knew there was a live birth from one of the cycles it was a kick in the gut (that was the cycle I'd miscarried on and I'd yet to be successful) but also gave me some sort of validation that, even if it wasn't to be for me, I'd at least helped bring joy to others.  I've made peace with the likelihood of a donor conceived child wanting to find me in future and how many children that might be hasn't even entered my head. 

The current guidelines are that embryos can be stored for up to 5 years, but that can be extended to 10 years in exceptional circumstances.  I would think, rather than having to ask for x number of years, you could find out after your cycle directly from your clinic (assuming they'd be happy to tell you) and then write to the HFEA in about 8 years and find out if there were any more. I think you'd be reasonable to assume that any babies made from them will all be born by then and it's unlikely there will be more children conceived. Also worth remembering that they do restrict the number of families one donor can make so your eggs are generally used for sibling cycles rather than anything else. There's never normally that many left to freeze from an egg share cycle anyway, and when everything is factored in, chances are that freezing will probably only give you one more crack at a FET cycle as opposed to several more goes. It's a bit of an odds game I suppose, but it's very unlikely your recipients will be using your donated eggs more than a couple of years down the line at most.

If you are lucky enough to have some to freeze the same rules will apply to you; you will have about 5 years to keep them (although will have to pay storage fees every year). Whether you have more or less success with frozen embryos is going to be entirely down to how you respond; generally it's accepted that you have more chance conceiving with fresh cycles, but there are ladies on FF who have only ever got pregnant with a FET cycle. 

The one thing I do remember clearly on the form was a statement of wishes of what should happen to any frozen embryos should one of you die whilst they are in storage. I remember discussing this with my DH and we both agreed that we'd want them destroyed in that eventuality and ticked the appropriate section on the forms; some people express a wish to keep them to give the surviving partner a chance of their genetic child on their own but for me I went into the process as part of a couple and didn't want to do that on my own. You may feel differently though.


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## jayne682 (Feb 16, 2013)

Hi Caz 

Many thanks for your reply. You must have been absolutely thrilled when your little one arrived. Will you try for anymore children? It is like entering into the unknown for me and I guess I just don't know what to expect. I have an appointment tomorrow now for a scan and more bloods I think. They took bloods last time for the HIV tests etc but don't know how long they take to come back. I had a child naturally conceived previously so hoping this may mean that any eggs may attach well but then you never know and I've read on here people with male factor like in my case that have tried times over. 

Just hoping my husbands sperm starts to increase to, he has just started wellman tablets and going to try to pack more fruit and veg in each day. 

I was worried about being matched as well as i'm fair and red head and whether this would take a long time. 

I think its amazing that you have helped people and you wouldn't have your own little one without egg sharing which is a blessing. Its just so dam expensive isn't it. I couldn't believe some of the prices. The clinic's must make a fortune. 

I would also tick the box for any embryos to be destroyed. 

I presume then that not many eggs will be left enough to freeze them. 

My AMH was 32 I don't really know if that's good or bad in terms of how many eggs i'm likely to get xxx


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

No, no more for me. 

The HIV test. Used to be that you had to have two tests at 3 months apart (because it can be hidden and take that long to show up or something) but that may have changed over the years. That was by far the longest one I had to wait for. 

Your AMH really just determines if you're suitable candidate for egg share in the first place, and what sort of dose of stimms they might start you on. Even with egg sharing they tend to be cautious not to overstim as this can cause problems with OHSS. The balance needs to be just right.  
As for time for matching, I think there were other factors (like CMV status) that were more pertinent to whom you were suitable to be matched with, rather than strictly hair/eye colour. Obviously they'll go with donor preference an if they have a donor that has no particular preference for hair/eye colour then you may get lucky.  It tends to donors who are in ethnic minorities or of mixed race that struggle for a match (or, conversely, recipients who struggle to find a donor) as the pool of available suitable candidates tends to be smaller.


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## MrsMiller (Aug 19, 2011)

Hi *Jayne* - I can see that most of your questions have already been answered but here's my reply too 

1. I don't know anything about sharing with cleft palate however I do know that all clinics have slightly different criteria; some use AMH levels, others use FSH, LH etc. Different clinics have different BMI parameters for sharing, some will allow people with PCOS, others won't so if your clinic are happy for you to share then that's great news 

2. As has already been said, they wouldn't be freezing eggs but embryos. After egg collection the eggs are divided into two (50/50, although if an odd number most clinics give the donor the extra egg) then both you and recipient have all of your available mature eggs fertilised (either by IVF or ICSI) they wouldn't keep any eggs back as they would want to try to fertilise them all to give the best possible chance for good embryos. 
Obviously, the desired outcome would be that you both have embryo(s) put back and possible have some left to freeze. The clinic would not proactively inform you of how the recipient gets on with any put back or frozen as some women do not wish to know. But you are within your rights to ask the clinic to find out. I wanted to know how my recipient got on once I got my BFP so I asked the clinic (she also got a BFP). The clinic then called me a few weeks after my daughter was born to find out about her for their records. At this stage I also asked about the recipient and found out that she too had a daughter. I haven't asked about if she had any embryos frozen as for me, I just wanted to know she had a child and how /if she uses her embryos if any are remaining is entirely up to her.

3. This varies between clinics, usually 8 eggs minimum (although some with allow 6 or 7). If they don't collect enough, most clinics will offer you a free next cycle if you donate all from the 1st cycle to the recipient. If you choose not to do this then you usually have to pay for the whole cycle to continue with the eggs collected.

4. I had a very positive experience of egg sharing, and I've answered some of this above in Q2, however I know a number of women who needed donor eggs who have had the most terrible time trying to achieve their dream so I really wanted to do something which could help someone else as well as us. I know I cried both times when I spoke to the clinic when I found out recipient was pregnant and when I found out she'd had a daughter.

5. This is a completely personal choice which only you and your DH can make. For our first cycle we were told that we could have 2 put back if they were 3 day embryos however if we reached blastocyst stage we could only have 1 put back (the success rates are higher for blasts). At the time we were worried it wouldn't work so perhaps naively we had hoped we could have two blasts put back but it worked in the end. We are now having the same discussion as if we didn't reach blast, would we have one or two put back? It's a hard decision to make but you'll figure it out 

To answer some of your other questions, your AMH level seems great, my clinic says it has to be over 12 to share. I don't know what mine is now, however two years ago it was 15.1 and I had 20 eggs collected. As yours is quite high they would put you on a lower dose of stims to make sure you don't get OHSS.

You mentioned about whether ICSI better success rate than IVF, I'm not sure of the stats as some places say the fertilisation rates are higher with ICSI however the HFEA website says they are the same. My husband has low count, poor morphology and poor motility so ICSI was a definite for us. We had 100% fertilisation by day 1 so we are obviously very pleased with it. I think most clinics will automatically do ICSI where there is any MF issues.

I can definitely recommend the wellman tablets, my husbands count increased from 6 to 19 million after 5 months of taking them! We also added the Zita West Vitamen Boost tablets (I was taking pregnacare conception along with Zita West Vitafem boost) plus drinking whey protein shakes during stimms and listening to Maggie Howell Natal Hypnotherapy IVF relaxation cd's as well as having acupuncture. These are all things I had researched which could help.

Hope all that helps 

Also, wanted to say huge congrats to *Nic* for your BFP, we were on the egg share thread 2 yrs ago. So happy for you


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