# hi ladies, can i pick your brains re af's......possible peri-menopausal



## kelway (Dec 9, 2006)

my last two af's (including this one) are quite eratic compared to their usual univentful nature. i seem to come on pretty much on time, starting with a few days of light brown and then heavyish for 3/4 days but the odd thing is that the bleeding normall stops within say 4 days but this month and last month the bleeding seems even though very light, just one pant liner, seems to go on for over 7 days and i am getting quite upset about this, the bleeding did stop usual time and then a day later started back up even though very light - my tummy is bloated and i am VERY hormonal/depressed as if af hasn't started yet - i looked on the net and peri-menopausal came up which could be the case i guess although not ideal as it seals the deal about my never being able to complete my family by having a second child even though i am already coming to terms with the fact that unlike most of the women i know my age or older it just ain't gonna happen again for me. there is no history of early menopause in my family but it could be that. don't want to go to drs as it usually these days seems such a waste of time going there, rarely come away satisfied having been given some good advice and my lovely gyni is too expensive - does anyone else have unusual cycles like this ie stop and start/go on for a while even though light? thanks alot jox


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## Oranges (May 12, 2008)

Hi Kelway,

I had very regular periods up till about a year ago, and then they went a bit wonky.  

My peri-menopausal experience was that although AF arrived on time, it lasted only about two days (fairly heavy) before it disappeared - then about a week later it reappeared for about five days (but very light).  This went on for about four or five months, then they disappeared totally in March this year (just when we were awaiting our first appointment for DE!).  

However, I was prescirbed utrogesten in June to start AF again for my DE journey.  Like Lexey said, you could get a blood test done at your GP to help find out what´s going on.

Good luck

Oranges xxx


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## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Hello Ladies

I had to comment here!

I do think that over 40 its just natural for your AF to get a bit irregular....I noticed that around 40 each month my AF began to start and stop...which was a bit confusing...My entire life I have had very regular AF, (a day or 2 of light spotting followed by full flow for 2/3  days then finish)....then for no apparent reason I started getting medium 'spotting' that lasted for a few days then stopping...I thought that was it...the a few days later the real AF would start making me very confused...also my cycle changed from 28 to anything upto 31/32/33 days..... I have also had bleeding after intercourse the week prior to when my period is due...all a bit scary--- I have seen GP and consultants many times. to moan about it..but all have had a poke around (deep joy!!) just said its nothing to worry about and its normal for a woman of my age... Since then, Ive had a couple of cycles of IVF, and i must say the hormones you are given seem linger on in my system afterwards to regulate my AF back to exactly how it used to be...indicating it probably IS just hormones..(or lack of 'em!)..(getting old!!!!! )  All the bloods and internal probing you have with IVF and fertility treatment should highlight and major problems, nothing seems to get past them!!
Its not then end of the road for you, you can always have DE treatment. I have 3 kids of my own already, but at my age (43) the chance of success is so small,  so we are going for DE treatment in Russia! it costs around 5000Euros wherever you go, but if its something you really want to consider, you will raise the cash.........
If you dont like your GP, find a 'well woman' clininc in your area, or family planning clinic...you dont know about them until you look!, believe me there LOADS of womens health clinincs in almost every town/city in the UK, mostly manned by female staff which is great.....& FREE!!!
good luck x
Karen x


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## kelway (Dec 9, 2006)

hi karen, thanks for your long response. you know, we actually aren't too old to have a child of our own, not in my world anyway, we are both 43. since i started ttc for No. 2 over 3 1/2 years ago i have been surrounded by women i either know well or know of who are/were my age or older and all without any medical help, or time....gr, got pg. this actually didn't give me hope, instead made my journey extremely harder emotionally as i watched them get pg immediately whilst i put my body through all kinds of **** for years and not so much as a mc which as desperate as i was would have been better than nothing, as tragic as that sounds, to have experienced the joy of being pg again even if not for long. i have had a mc so i know the pain and emotional rollercoast and yet despite that i still would have preferred to have had one rather than nothing at all, my batter has been totally flat despite achieving two pregnancies in my late thirties, both immediately, so i went from being very fertile to nothing. my bleeding seems to have faded off (i think) but i am left with this REALLY uncomfortable bloated feeling which is not like me. if i didn't know any different i would have thought i was pg but i know for a fact that i am not, i don't like this sort of thing, it triggers the hypercondriac in me. i always worry about some form of womens cancer and the internet doesn;t help and too much information. as for egg donation, my dh won't even go there, i would but he won't entertain the idea which is a shame but we have a happy marriage and i respect him and his views. to be honest, i don't think he ever wanted another child, he is very happy as we are so to push him into something he doesn't agree with just isn't worth it, shame though as i have an open mind to it. best of luck with you, joxx


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## Danni (Aug 25, 2004)

Hi there
You can be peri menopausal for 10yrs but still not in the actual menopause. Best is to have bloods taken at your GP but it does not mean you fsh will be in menopausal range. I had worse period problems 6yrs ago with hotflushes and irritability and Im still not in the menopause and in fact, my periods are much better than before(more regular and not scanty) so I dont know. This peri menopausal period can last for a decade before you are in the actual menopause which is no periods for a year and of course all the rest of symptoms only then is no hope of a spontaneuous conception.
Regards
Danni xxx


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## kelway (Dec 9, 2006)

thanks alot danni for your response, much appreciated. still concerned about the bloated tummy and cramps, more than the bleeding which actually seems to have subsided. if it wasn't for the fact that i had quickly done a pg test yesterday i would be sure i was pg as this is how i felt the two times i was pg (bloated with the same type of cramps) - my af was a week late this time but then had heavy ish blood for about 3 days followed by about ten days of light red blood spotting, can't be pg, would have to be a miracle if i was (if only!). xx


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## Be Lucky (Mar 22, 2008)

Hi kelway maybe ur dh would consider de if he hadnt had any children at all.i too hav a happy marriage and we hav tried for over 7 years and sumtimes it only option if u desparate.didu hav a blood test yet?my periods very irregular since 3 ivf treatments.berniex


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## kelway (Dec 9, 2006)

hi belucky, saw gyni today, he said my overies looked fine and so did my uterus BUT then he gave me a differnt scan and started rambling on about surgery/how my uterine lining was very thick and that i might have (can't remember what it is called) but can be a precancerous condition and best treatment (he didn't say this but since looked it up on the net) would be a hysterectomy............i said my af may be due in about 4 days and so if i did come on then that might explain why it is thick - he wants to give me another scan when i have had af. as for ed, dh would have considered it if we didn;t have a dd, i would have insisted even if he wouldn't but i think he would. i would have jumped at the chance of ed if he had but i am not going to nag him. to be honest, i don't think he wants another which is good really as i know people whose partners go on and on about wanting a child which must make it really really hard for the female if they are the ones having the fertility issues. best of luck to you with you ed, i really hope it works for you. when i had failed treatments last year my gyni man at the time raved about the high success rates of ed, fingers crossed. jox


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## Be Lucky (Mar 22, 2008)

Good luck jo.while not pleasant they sound v thorough.is it nhs?i hav had a myomectomy for removal of fibroids and a hstogramsumthing 2 check tubes etc which was clear.wher ru based?berniex


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## kelway (Dec 9, 2006)

morning, i live in essex and have private health cover which i kept going from the days when i worked before i got made redundant, has come in very useful inthe past like the time i had a missed miscarriage 6 years ago and the nhs hospital couldn't give me a d&c as no beds and told me to go away and miscarry naturally, cheers! my cover covered me going private and i had the op done the next day. all the best xx


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## Be Lucky (Mar 22, 2008)

Wondered why it sounded so good!

Bernie


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