# Esperance ICSI - first time ever for IVF



## 478emma (Sep 17, 2009)

Hi all,

I have really learnt so much about support on here today and would like to share my journey with you guys.  

I have been waiting for approx 8 years (and saving like mad) to be able to get to this time in my life where we might actually be able to start a family.

I know ICSI doesn't always work first time (or any IVF for that matter) but we, like everyone else, are so nervous about it.

I'm starting my stimulation drugs tonight and have been told that we are looking at 29th Sept 09 for the EC, so the nerves are starting to get the better of me slightly.

My DH has been brilliant.  He's given me a couple of injections because I wanted him to be a part of this whole cycle (even though he absolutely hates injections / needles) and he wants that too.

It's been hard not to let the excitement take over, but up until today I've been ok and just pretended (as much as I could) that the injection were just a part of my morning routine and nothing else, so as to keep the excitement down.  Today though, well, that's all gone to pot.  I know it's only two weeks away til EC and then another few days til the buns go in the oven.

Anyway, thanks for reading and I really wish all of you Mummies to be the very best of luck with your future AC.

Love n Hugs xx


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## manxgirl (Apr 23, 2009)

478emma, it sounds like you are doing fine to me hun   

Keep as   as you can, and remember you have done well injecting and hats of to your partner for helping out too.     It will all be fine, I was the same as you my 1st round!

Good luck with your EC hun. fingers are crossed for you.  

a moderator will be along shortly with some helpful links.

Manxie xx


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Emma and welcome to Fertility Friends 

Thats great that your dh is helping you with the injections, for some that can be really hard, he sounds like he's supporting you well. Its a real mixture of emotions, you're right. Getting started is exciting, but then moments of madness creep in (usually on the 2 week wait!) and being anxious, you'll go through it all, but thats where we come in! You'll make so many new friends (some of which will be going through treatment same time as you) and learn so much from FF. 

Please have a look around and start posting around the boards and making friends. FF is a wonderfully supportive community and you can only get the best out of it if you start posting and joining in so, please do so. Here are some links you might find helpful at the moment&#8230;.

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*ICSI ~ *CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. You will fnd a thread, usually with a funny/inspiring name for this year's buddies. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment.

*Cycle buddies ~ *CLICK HERE

*2WW, Ladies in Waiting ~ *CLICK HERE

*Keep a diary of your treatment ~ * 
CLICK HERE
(some ladies find this therapeutic, offloading emotions and detailing how treatment is going)

Its not all just serious stuff here, you can also have a bit of fun or just gossip while you are on FF too so check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area:

*Girl & Boy talk - Community & Fun Board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. It's a small world!

Wishing you lots of luck    and 
Keep in touch x
Ceri xx


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## 478emma (Sep 17, 2009)

Hi Manxie and Ceri,

Thanks for the welcome.

I am starting to think I shouldn't be looking at things on the internet because I keep seeing bfp, then mc later.  I'm worried now.

I know a lot of you have gone through that (some more than once) and hope I am as strong as you guys have been, but we've only got the one chance at this (it's taken 8 years of saving to get this far!) and being that i'm 34 and DH is 42, by the time we save again, DH will be feeling far too old!

I will keep a little eye on your progress Manxie and wish you the very best of luck for the future!

xxx


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## manxgirl (Apr 23, 2009)

Thanks Em,

But remember we are all different! There are lots of different ladies on here with different difficulties! lots have BFP 1st time and go the whole 9 months. 

Its tough and I know nerves must be taking hold now. ( they were for me at your stage ).

If you need any advice, help or a shoulder at any time, message me. No problems. I have plenty of info available from my cycle.

Have you found the section that lists all the clinics? I found it helpful to talk to ladies at the same clinic as where I am. Only a thought hun.

Take care and Ill keep my eyes open for you.

Manxie xx


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Hi Em,

Im also starting tx at the Esperance.. had our initial consultation yesterday and start our first cycle of DIUI in 9 days time using clomid.

We're having tx as we are a same sex couple.. we're with Dr Chui are you? OMG arnt they just so nice and friendly at the esperance.

Em x


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## 478emma (Sep 17, 2009)

Hi Em / Manxie,

Well I'm really excited - again.  I have my scan tomorrow to see if the Puregon is working (fingers crossed!!!).

Em, I'm with Mr Zaidi.  I've been with him for years with other problems and I've always found him to be very direct and understanding.  We both feel very relaxed with him so I guess we're lucky and yes, they are so very lovely at the Esperance!!!

Manxie, I think I read other postings by you and didn't want to say the wrong thing, so could you please tell me your experiences? 

Should I be feeling anything going on down there?  Only, it's nearly 7 days into the Puregon and if it's working, surely the follies are going to be trying to make some room, which I kind of expected to be feeling (if you know what I mean, maybe a little pinching, or niggling pain...)

Anyway, I'm really trying to keep that PMA going and can't wait until tomorrow.  

Good luck Em. Hope to hear from you both soon.

Em xx


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## 478emma (Sep 17, 2009)

8 Follies!!!!  Not sure if that's good or bad..??

Anyway, she said she was happy with the size and number, so it can't be bad (i hope) and have another scan on saturday before EC on Tues.

Fingers crossed.

xx


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

8 follies at this stage is really good Em, sounds like everythings going great  keep in touch x


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## manxgirl (Apr 23, 2009)

8 follies Em is ace news! Well done you  

Good luck and all fingers legs and toes crossed for you for the scan on saturday before EC. xxx


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## 478emma (Sep 17, 2009)

Thanks guys.

Manxie, really sorry for your loss hun.  I really hope things get better for you, and my heart goes out to you both.   for future!!!

Saturday scan went well.  I have 10 in total, but 2 are really tiny so may not be usuable. Pregnyl tonight then eating really well tomorrow cause gotta starve from 7pm onwards (argh I love my food lol)

Follie size (largest) was 21mm yesterday so they are really pleased with my results so far.  

Fingers crossed we get to Blast, if not we'll be having two back (hubby's slightly scared at the prospect of twins / multi's but better two than none in my mind).

I'll let you know.. 

Love n hugs xx


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Hi Ladies,

sorry to gate crash but is CD 1 when u get red blood? also does the Esperance have a cut off time for this??

Em x


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## 478emma (Sep 17, 2009)

Hi Em,

I really don't know what CD 1 is, i've not heard of it, but hope someone can help you.

Not long for you now hun, good luck to both xx


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## Guest (Sep 28, 2009)

Em(lesbo_mum)

CD1 is when you first get red blood not brown spotting, if it comes after about 5pm the Esperance will count the following day as CD1. How are you doing, bet you can't wait to start now  

xx


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Thanks Shemonkey.. CD 1 is today then   i spoke to the clinic this morning and told them im on CD 1.. i start clomid tomorrow and then go back on tuesday 6th for my CD9 scan. Im just waiting for the clinic to call me back to confirm our donors details if they can match us up so im really nervous and have my fingers crossed that they can find us one.


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## 478emma (Sep 17, 2009)

Well, here's the update...

8 Follies, 3 empty, 5 eggs, 2 fertz'd.

Going for ET tomortow. They don't know the quality of the embies yet so praying that they will both be good enough to go back in the oven tomorrow.

I've never felt so weird.  I don't know how to feel really.  I cried when I came round when they told me we had 5 eggs cause I really hoped for more, but excited that we had 5.

Now I know we have 2 fert'd, still not sure how I feel.  We have two chances, yet they might not make transfer!

I am excited and thankful that we've made it this far, but in my heart of hearts I don't think we're going to be lucky, things like this don't happen to us. 

Maybe I'm being negative, ungrateful, selfish... I don't know how I'm feeling, but I'm so afraid to get my hopes up.  This is the first time I've felt like crying during the whole process, but if I start, I know I won't stop.

PMA, PMA, PMA - from hereon, I'll try.

Em, I really wish you the very best of luck.



Em x


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## manxgirl (Apr 23, 2009)

Em,

Biggest good luck for tomorrow hun. will be thinking of you             

Manxie xx


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## 478emma (Sep 17, 2009)

Hi Em & Em 

I had two embies put back today.  OMG, I'm so excited!!!!  I keep asking them to hold on, hubby keeps smiling at me talking to my belly lol.

I'm going to have a break from here for a while.  I am going to try and keep my mind on other things other than the 2ww... (yeah right!!)

Anyway, good luck all and i'll let you guys know.

Take care, love n hugs xx


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## manxgirl (Apr 23, 2009)

Take care Em, thinking of you


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Hiya Em, congratualtions on being PUPO! (pregnant until proven otherwise!)

Have a look on the 2ww boards for some good ideas on distracting your brain! The ladies are all waiting for their end result and so keep each other sane! Its really hard the 2ww, but keep mentally busy and it makes it a little easier.  
*Cycle buddies ~ *CLICK HERE

*2WW, Ladies in Waiting ~ *CLICK HERE

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!


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## 478emma (Sep 17, 2009)

Oh, thank you ladies (so much for me doing other things instead of being on here lol).  

I have had my feet up for 24 hours now and hoping that the little mites are getting cosy.

They were 1 x 3 cell and 1 x 4 cell, but Frans (embyologist) said 3 of 4 grade for both and no fragments so should be good.  No frozen and no risk to 5 day due to only 2 fert'd.

Whooooo hoooooooo.  Stay put little ones.

I've a little poem for us all:

We often wonder, ask ourselves why, 
We often shout and scream and cry,
Is it something I once did?
Is this my penance, to live in grief.

I wonder will God ever hear my prayer,
Is he watching, does he care?
But one day soon, I know he'll be,
Watching down, with a smile for me.

One day soon I'll smile and say,
God smiled down to make my day.
He touched my life and touched my heart,
I thank you God, for this precious chance.

I'll keep you updated.

Love and light xxx


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