# New job while undergoing IVF...?!



## Roxbury1 (Nov 22, 2013)

Hi everyone,

Not sure if I'm after advice or just a rant really...

Have been in a job I'm not particularly happy in for several years - the reason I've stayed is that the benefits in general are good, but the maternity package is pretty fab and for the past 3+ years that has been what's kept me going. I've just been approached about a new job in a completely new company which looks like a great fit for me, but my concern is that if I were to start now I'd not be eligible for any maternity benefits at all (even the lower ones they're offering compared to my current job) as if I get my BFP in my next cycle (due to start DR mid-Aug) I won't have been there for a year to qualify and there's no way we can manage on just 3months statutory or whatever the state benefit is, we just couldn't pay the mortgage and I'd end up having to go back to work really soon after the birth.

I don't know if I'm just getting too far ahead of myself worrying about all that, it'll be our first proper cycle (hopefully) so I know the odds aren't exactly in our favour for it working, but what if it did? I would hate to leave our much longed-for baby to go back to work just a couple of months after they arrived :-( 

But then on the other hand, our hopes of having a baby 'soon' have informed every decision we've made for years and it's not happened yet so we've missed out on so many things unnecessarily, part of me just thinks I can't live with this 'what if' indefinitely and need to get on with the other aspects of my life.

Wish I had a crystal ball to see if/when our baby hopes would come true...!

x


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## Londonkitty (Feb 26, 2014)

I do not envy you the choice but can empathise with the 'putting everything on hold' feeling. Been there, done that. If you could afford to live on SMP then I would say go for the new job no question. That's obviously going to be difficult but how would you manage if you had some savings? Assuming this new job will give you a bit of a pay rise, if you fall pregnant on this cycle then you will have 9 months to save, get used to living frugally, and generally give yourself maybe enough money to have another month of maternity leave. It would also be worth looking at whether you could get a holiday from your mortgage. That may also free up a bit more cash to give you a bit longer at home. In the long run if this new job will make you happier, that will be positive for your chances of ivf succeeding but also allow you to be a happier mummy. Don't forget you might be able to go back part time and use annual leave once you need to go back to work.

I guess what I'm saying is the new job is do-able if it is better for you for all other aspects of your life. The one thing it would be worth finding out is hôw child friendly they are-are there good flexible working options and can you see evidence people are working flexibly? Ie not just a policy that they pay lip service to. 

My one final thought is don't underestimate the effect of stress in your body and chance of conceiving. Would a new job be less stressful than your current job? If your ivf cycle fell into your first few weeks of the new job, how would you feel asking for all the time off you will need? To give you an idea, I needed every other day scans and blood tests for the first two weeks of stims plus two days off for EC (one for procedure and one recovering) and three days for ET (day if transfer and my clinic advises two days of rest/pottering after transfer)

Good luck! Not sure I've helped!!


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## Doris83 (Jan 28, 2012)

Hi Roxbury,

I actually quit my job during our 1st cycle, and have since only done interim contracts so I can have the flexibility of time off for TX when I need it, so I would say don't let the 'what ifs' keep you stay in a job you don't enjoy. 

If you don't take the job and your treatment fails (which hopefully it wont) then you may kick yourself for missing a great opportunity.  Also the stresses and strains of TX in a role your not happy in can push you over the edge (That's what happened with me and I just walked out) although you also need to consider how you will feel about juggling TX/needing time off when you're still new in a role? 

If you do take the job and TX does work you can claim maternity benefit from the government if you have been working but don't qualify for statutory maternity pay through your employer. You can claim £138.18 a week or 90% of your average weekly earnings (whichever is less) for up to 39 weeks depending on your eligibility.

I know what you mean about wanting a crystal ball - I've put my whole life on hold for the past 2 years, passing up jobs, missing holidays, never planning for the future all for that elusive BFP. I sometimes wish I had been more selfish and pursued the opportunities that came my way, as now my career has halted and I'm still without my longed for baby

Good luck for your future cycle x


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

take the job.

i stayed in a job i didn't like much for 8 years thinking 'i'll be leaving in 6months anyway' but never fell pregnant... time flies. you have to do stuff. If you get pregnant, nothing else will matter, you can figure out what to do later. 

good luck. x


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## LuluLimon (Jan 17, 2014)

Hi Roxbury- remember you from Orange thread.

I changed jobs a couple of months before ivf started. I wasn't happy in the old one and think the stress was having knock on effects. I would have been better off staying financially, but your immediate well being is more important. If its a better job fit then why not just go for it.
As LK said, you could ask for a mortgage holiday, take out a low rate loan, save a bit each month from now to cover a bit more of the mortgage. Is your partner in a position where he can contribute more for those months? You could see if the mortgage can be put on an interest only from full repayment for the duration of the leave.

Ask about their flexible working, if they have Assisted conception policy(some do now), whether you can work different hours during the treatemtn or work from home. Is it definitely a year you need to be there for? I had though it around 3-4 months?

I think I would do a list of pros and cons & chat to someone you trust. Sometimes it helps talking over it.

Good luck for August xx


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

I put my whole career on hold for over a decade thinking this is my month - so instead of going for better jobs with more pay and better prospects, I just plodded.  I got to the stage when I was stuck in a job I HATED, I was bullied and was completely stressed.  But the thought of up to a year off, and returning on just a part time basis allowed me to carry on. 
I was approached to apply for a new job and so I applied.  One of the questions I was asked was, would i take the job if it was offered as a job share....I was completely thrown, but I answered that in the future I may be interested in job share, but for now I was simply wanting a full-time post.

And of course I was asked to elaborate - so came clean about waiting to start fertility treatment - I was never presumptuous enough to think I'd get the job and walk in during my first week with my schedule, but I wanted to be honest from the off...so figured I'd either blown my chance, or they'd appreciate my honesty.... I got the job, I got pregnant, I got the job share and now I'm back full-time again....I don't think I could have tolerated sticking where I was - go for it - my hubby lost his job a few months before treatment started.... it's amazing how cheaply you can live if you budget and set limits.... best of luck.

Sheila


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