# Moving on??



## Old hand (Oct 5, 2007)

Hey there

I'm new to the message board.  Our infertility is unexplained - So hard to take and so hard to move on.  Had 2 IUI, 4 IVF with ICSI, and one FET - all at Origin.  All within about 2 years.  Everyone was so nice - they were so interested and concerned and hopeful about each cycle - We haven't a bad word to say about anyone there.  
We did ICSI due to DH having too many abnormal sperm (it seems to fluctuate!).  We got great embies on each cycle - bar one - and were alwys pretty hopeful.  It seems that maybe there's a difficulty with implantation.
We have been through a total emotonal rollercoaster and decided we will have one more attempt and are going across the water to England for a fresh approach.  Origin have been  great about the referral etc.
However now DH and I have had a bit of time off from treatment we've faced the reality that it may never hppen for us and we're not going to go on indefinitely until we're financially and emotionally bereft!!  DH whose usually so strong had a little teary moment and to comfort him I said that maybe there's a little baby out there waiting for us to find them and be their mammy and daddy.  This was the first time we had really even thought of adoption.  Now we're more inclined towards that because at least we know that at the end of the process we'll have a baby!!!  A family to love and care for and provide for and nurture and watch growing up. Okay so we won't be able to look at them and see little bits of each other in them but hey - we're not that great anyway!!!!!

We haven't done anything about the idea of adopting but knowing that we're not going to grow old without children to brighten our lives  has made our infertility easier to bear.  We'll still proceed with another ICSI in the New Year but we won't be so inconsolable when we we get that BFN.  I sound hopeful don't I?!

Just wondered if anyone out there has moved on and accepted their infertility and if so what route they have chosen and whether it has made them happy.

Would love to hear from anyone but especially Northern Ireland girls.


----------



## suziplum (Sep 27, 2007)

Hi there Old Hand
I have just read your message and wanted to say i am amazed at your strength, despite what you have gone and are still going through.  I think you're right, there is a little baby out there waiting for you and if you get there a different way than you had originally planned, well you still get there. 

My DH and I had thought about adoption after our 2nd loss and went along to a couple of information evenings, they are usually well advertised but you could contact the Social Services Trust for your area and they should be able to give you a contact number.

I wish you all the best for the rest of your journey

Take care
suziplum


----------



## Fionab (Aug 30, 2006)

Old Hand

Welcome to the NI board.  That is a lot of treatment in 2 years, maybe you should relax now in the break and take it easy.  This fertility treatment is hard on us all and I'm only starting to feel 'normal' after 4 months so for once I am glad of the enforced break in the RFC, both financially and emotionally.  You are right to consider adoption as well as your fertility treatment to ensure that you get your dream.

It really is a matter of taking one day at a time.

Good luck with your treatment in the New Year,
Fiona


----------



## skywalker (Aug 8, 2006)

hello old hand,

welcome to our wee community!

wow, you have been through the mill.  It's good you are taking a wee bit of time to chill and gear up for another go.  take care of yourself and dh 

DH and i are approaching the place you are at very shortly.  we have considered the adoption route seriously but will give our nhs go a try first (hopefully in new year).

i have thought about our journey prob too much our the past wee while and have come to a few conclusions.  we have been unlucky in every road we have taken through ttcing so i think there is other wee people who we are 'meant' to look after.  i don't need to give birth and have a baby to nurture and love a child (i know some people do & that's fine).  
DH and i are lucky in the respect we have conceived and we know what is 'wrong' with us.  i think my pregnancies have been so disastrous and i was so sick with the last one that it nearly scares me about what would happen in future ones. (i never shared that with anyone) - sorry for the wee 'me' rant

so all in all even if i try to convince myself we are ready to move on i'm still not sure if we really are - dh certainly isn't ready just yet.

i hope you can find you peace it is very hard to know when to seek alternatives.  

the moving on group are very good and helpful too.

good luck for your next go  

take care
skywalker


----------

