# When the childs social worker comes to visit for the first time!



## rhi4n (Jun 7, 2011)

Hi everyone,

After waiting a year since starting the adoption proces we have found our perfect child..and we decided to proceed. Lucky for us the LA there loved us too..but they need to visit us first before its all official..so it all could go horrible wrong!

Any tips on things we should do? Its a week on Monday now..I have taken the day off to make sure the house is in order! What questions should we ask at this stage? Or whould we wait to see when we hopefully get to the matching panel..which im not looking forward too.

Any ideas greatly accepted!

Rhian


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## Beckyboo3 (Jan 18, 2011)

Hi

We had our first meeting last week and I was worried what to ask but in the end it flowed very well !

We had seen the child's CPR and so we talked through that as their were a few specific medical questions we wanted answered and also the SW knew the birth parents so spoke about them and their situation which caused their LO to be at risk.

My DP is very thorough ( annoyingly sometimes !!) and they had brought some up to date photos and a DVD which I was desperate to see !! So I wanted him to stop talking and then the lap top played up !! 

The SW asked us questions relating to our PAR and a few questions about our son. She looked round the house and the bedroom ( which was a mess and not decorated !!).

They then spoke about time lines and matching panel ??!!!!! So our next step is we are meeting the Foster Carer and Medical Adviser. 

I would suggest be enthusiastic and talk about the LO as being part of your family already and ask as many questions you want as sometimes things can proceed very quickly and you want all the information to move forward.

Good luck 

Beckyboo x


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## Waiting_patiently (Dec 4, 2013)

Glad this has been asked as we're in the same position, childs sw coming next Thursday and we'redesperate for it all to be alright and for them to want us, apparently on paper they already do and were the only couple that have been shown lo's cpr so far so now just got to get the day right, its so nerve-racking isn't it! Good luck


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## rhi4n (Jun 7, 2011)

Thanks for the reply! How long after visit would the matching panel be do you reckon? Is the foster carer meeting extra to panel? What kind if timelines did they say to you @beckyboo3 ? I think i will be enthusiastic..lol! In the adoption panel i was so nervous could hardly speak..so hopefully will be a lot more relaxed!

@waiting_patiently - so so exciting! Good luck 

Thanks

X


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## Beckyboo3 (Jan 18, 2011)

Hello

They did say we could go to Matching Panel at the end of June but we are on holiday in August and so will probably go to Panel in July now as we have no need to rush as the LO would not move until after that now.

In our LA it's normal to have meetings with the Foster carer and Medical adviser before matching panel as they can answer any questions we have and if we have any doubts then we can choose not to proceed with the match.

Just trying to arrange our diarys now for the meetings !

Beckyboo x


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## Barbados Girl (Jul 7, 2012)

Hi

V exciting about your link, Rhi4n. We wrote a list of questions arising out of the CPR- read between the lines, look for gaps. We took the sws round the house and showed what baby proofing we are going to do. We spoke about what drew us to him, they asked us a couple of questions.

The link was confirmed the next day (10 June).

We are meeting FC tomorrow and have tons of questions for her.

Matching panel is 29 July.

Good luck!


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Hi, we had this meeting a couple of weeks ago.  I was a bit of a nervous wreck as we had known about the LO for a couple of months and pretty much had our hearts set on him.

First she was really easy going and gave us an up to date CPR and medical record to read through.  As we did that she talked about LO as she had visited him the day before and it was lovely, she spoke about what he likes to do, his character etc.  She then gave us some up to date photos.  She told us we were the only family they were considering and she didn't really have anything to ask us as she had spoken lots with our SW (and our very thorough PAR). We asked a few questions, mainly clarifying things in the CPR and time lines.  She looked around our home and garden and then we had another little chat and she explained how intros work in her LA and gave us possible panel dates.  She also explained that she would arrange a 'life appreciation day' prior to panel where we would meet the foster carer, matching SW, GP and other people important in his life at the moment.

The following week she confirmed the dates for 'life appreciation' and this week MP date was confirmed.  Our dates are in Aug as all the MP dates for June and July are full so it will probably depend on how the LA work.  Good luck


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

It was awhile ago now but I remember it like it was yesterday. Lo sw came in and we all sat around the dining table. Our sw, dh, lo sw and I. Both dh and I had a list do questions about lo that we had gathered after reading his CPR. Offered her a cuppa but she asked for a cold drink. 
She started the ball rolling by asking us why him? What experience we had in children of his age group, what we could offer him, what our plans were regarding work once/if he was placed, what was there to do in the local area and some others that I can't remember now.  
We then started asking her our questions taking it in turns, some based on his CPR which I won't go into detail about, did he have a good attachment with his FC?, was he small or large for his age?, did he get along with cats? (We did have two cats at the time, sadly one passed away before he was placed, and the other passed away three weeks after the came home ) what made him smile?, what made him cry?, what food did he like and dislike etc etc
She then asked to be shown around the house, thankfully I had just finished the nursery and made the cot up. She feel in love with the nursery and said he would love it. She then asked about friends for him, so I said I was still in contact with our prep group and we meet up for buddy dates. She took a look in the garden and we stayed out there for a bit chatting about where we were going to put his sand pit, slide etc. 
she said she was sorry she hadn't brought anymore pics of him but would the next time she visited.  
Our sw said it seemed to go very well and I felt comfortable with her too.
We were told she was visiting another couple the next day and we would have to wait four days to find out if we had been chosen. 
But on day four our dreams came true and we got that call.


Just be yourself, remember to ask questions, write down the answers otherwise you will forget and relax.


Good luck xx


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Oooooooooo exciting times! Ours was very much like the others have described. Very relaxed, very informative and not half an ordeal as we thought it would be. Little man was from out of county so we had our sw, his current (at the time) sw , his new sw who was about to take over his case and the family finder. I think they wanted to see if we could picture him with us and we most def could, they clearly wanted enthusiasm towards for hi. To be honest I had a huge list of questions and i didnt ask 1 - they were all answered during the meeting in the natural conversation. Our home hadn't really been child proofed but we knew what we would do and his bedroom wasn't completed because we wanted it to be personal to him. They told us during the meeting that we had been linked. That was the end of feb, our sw pushed and was ready for matching panel for march but it was booked for mid April with med and FC meeting scheduled for just before. It turned out that something relevant did actually show up at the med meeting. it we had gone to panel they would have deferred due to us not having all and upto date facts. clarification was needed but thankfully this only delayed us by a month so we eventually went to mp in may. 

HTH, good luck xxx


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