# Really hurt after what had been a good week



## Urbanista (Jun 10, 2012)

Hello,

I'm going to need a bit of a rant I'm afraid. Feeling so upset and hurt right now and they often say writing down helps!

Hubby and I have known we have fertility problems for years. 

We had a consultation at a clinic last December which was so awful I left crying and stayed crying for two days after the insensitive, hurtful Dr was so rude to us. We felt like this clinic was an utter money grabbing machine who was quite happy to keep taking our cash, but not help treat us. (Happy to take hubby's sperm and freeze but nothing else).

So, after taking six months to regain some composure and keep on researching we have decided to try IUI with sperm donor. So there, a decision made! Hurrah we thought.

I should say my BMI is higher than 30, but not over 40. I've had a gastric bypass and still trying hard to take my weight down. But it appears I'm otherwise fine and dandy. No issues showing on bloods or scans. Good stuff, no?

So, we started to contact some clinics to ask about IUI and sperm donors. I did call back this ghastly clinic just to ask as its so handy to us just to ask if they would do this. I left a phone message and this was 5 weeks ago.

During this time we found a clinic who was happy to see us and we had our first appointment this week. The clinic were so lovely. Supportive. Just a breath of fresh air compared to the ghastly horrid woman and clinic we had seen before. 

So, we are there getting all excited over the past few days. Smiling a bit about the situation finally rather than crying. 

However, I get home to find a letter from the ghastly clinic today.

Basically says that they are replying to my request to have IUI with my husband using his sperm - incorrect there - and after talking with the staff they aren't prepared to treat us. A really rude, blunt letter containing incorrect information and it just feels like a kick in the teeth. 

I know we aren't ever going back there. It's just the fact they seem to have no regard for people's mental well being at this place at all. The Dr when we had our consultation was so rude to me, she basically looked at my hubby and said "if your wife looses weight, which she clearly seems unable to do, we may treat her but I'd prefer it if you went elsewhere" - nice huh! Talk about insensitive and rude!

I have lost over 12 stone since having my gastric bypass. I'm slowly loosing weight still. She knew this info.

Why is it that people think they can be so rude?

So, I've been feeling really unhappy all afternoon. It reminds me so much of our last appointment with them and that intense feeling of hurt. It has taken months to get over that and she's done it again.

The consultant we saw this week was so lovely. His team have been great and it's given us some hope. But tonight I feel so sad again.

Sorry for this rather down post, but it's just hurting again.

Has anyone else had such awful experiences with rude Drs?

Thanks x


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## Babyjellybaby (May 11, 2012)

Hey 

I haven't had too bad experience but not sure many of them have empathy are more interested in money!

Just wanted to say a massive well done for your weight loss! 
Think you need to be comfortable with the clinic you use and don't need the extra stress of worrying if they will upset you again. Think defo look for somewhere else to keep your stress levels low in what will be a stressful time anyway.

Bjb xx


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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

Hi urbanista,

Thank god you did your research and found an alternate clinic to go to! It sounds like you're in the right place, its soo important to have faith in your doctors and compassion while going through treatment as stress is the last thing you need. Honestly I don't know how some clinics survive given their track records, my last clinic (Nhs) wa awful too and it's shocking what some people have to accept as 'care'. I think you boil forget about them and focus on your new clinic which obviously given you a much better feeling, go with them and leave the other one behind you. It's like anything in life, you know when you've found the right mechanic/plumber etc, you need to trust them and know they'll get the job down without arsing you about or leave you hanging around while they deal with the quick and easy jobs first! 

Good luck with your treatment, and on wards and upwards!

Xx
Ducky


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## Tulipwishes (Nov 20, 2011)

I too would be very upset by comments like that.

The last time I went to treatment with my ex husband the Dr stopped us in the corridor on the way out and said I had to lose weight, I was mortified as there was quite a few people around to hear. 

I really don't understand how they think it is acceptable to speak to people like that.

Good luck with your treatment.


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