# Looking to start or going through adoption Pt 2



## KarenM

Ann

Great news that they didn't charge you. Good luck for the course in April, you will find it really interesting and there is all sorts that it makes you think about that had probably never crossed your mind before.

We will be very well trained parents!!!!

I think this is everyone who is posting and where they are, if there is anyone else or I have got anything wrong, let me know:

Karen :
Sw visit 23rd March 
Panel 22nd April

Cindy:
Course starts 23rd March

Carol:
Currently doing home assessment

Ann:
Course starts April

Ang:
Course starts May

Good luck girls

Love
Karen x )


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## Dee

Hi Karen

I thought that your post with the list was a fantastic one to start your next thread with ... hope you don't mind.

Good luck to all you mummies to be.

Love
Dee
xxx


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## KarenM

Cindy

Just a quick post to wish you all the best for the start of your course on Tuesday. Are you having to come to Stafford for it?

Let us know how you get on.

Love
Karen x


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## molly2003

hi karen no probs put me in the list for may i start love ang


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## LizzyB

Karen & Cindy ~ lots of luck for tomorrow,
i hope it all goes really well for you both 

Much love, Lizzy xx


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## KarenM

Cindy

How did the course go today

My SW has visited today and we have gone through all the paperwork that needs to go to panel. She is coming next Thursday to drop off the draft of the documents and then we have 28 days to review it. We can waiver that, which we are doing given that the paperwork needs to be in by 8th April!! And then she is coming back to following day to collect it and tell us what to expect at the panel meeting.

I cannot believe that in less than 1 months time we will be approved adopters and could even be looking at meeting OUR children.

Carol - how is your home assessment going?

Ann and Ang - not long now for the two of you, it will be here before you know it.

Good luck girls.
love
Karen x


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## Bev H

Hi Karen and of course all you other lovely ladies 

Karen - I am getting soooo excited for you   
love reading about your story, lots of love Bev H xxxx

Good luck to you all here


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## DawnJ

Hi gIRLS

So sorry that I have missed so much of your news but hoping to catch up as soon as I can.

Just wanted to say Good luck to you all...... you are all on your way now and it is so exciting. Cant wait to read your stories along the successful road to achieving your dreams.

Wishing you loads of love and luck to each of you!

Love Dawn


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## KarenM

Hi Trudy

The cooling off time varies from social services departments and sometimes depends on the type of treatment that you have had.

We didn't actually have an cycles of treatment as they made our diagnosis before we got that far, so we didn't have to wait. However if we had had ICSI then we would have had to wait 12 months.

It would be worth contacting your local social services department to find out what they do.

Good luck for your tx in April.

Love
Karen x


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## Bev H

Hi Trudy
When we looked at adoption we were told to have a 6 month "cooling off period" - that was in Hampshire.
Hope you don't have to wait too long and GOOD LUCK.
Best wishes, Bev H xxx


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## cindyp

Hello Ladies

Haven't been on-line as I only have a daytime internet package and I was working the days I wasn't at the course at Stafford.

What can I say, they do these courses to make sure you know what you're letting yourselves in for. Our Course Leader said at the end "If you haven't got any questions about what you're doing at the end of this course then we haven't done our job properly." I can't speak for anyone else but Lee and I thought they did their job very well. 

Like a lot of people we may have been a bit naive when we started this process. Get a couple of kiddies, sure they'll have a few problems but a few months with us wonderful people will soon put that right. When you are introduced to people who are still experiencing attachment problems more than 4 years after adopting their children you realise that things might not be that simple. 

Overall the course was very good, very informative and very thought provoking. We've had to seriously think about whether we want to proceed further. All the life experiences we've had that help us in our adoption process, bereavement, illness, family break-up also make us wary of the stress that might come with a difficult adoption. We're both over 40 now and have had to consider if we have enough energy to cope with the emotional baggage that these children might bring with them. Part of you thinks it might make life easier not to bother and just have lots of material things and nice holidays.

However we've decided to carry on, we think the stress of not having a family is a lot greater than the possible stress of having one. Our social workers on the course said that they're job was all about Risk Management. They try to minimise the risk of problems with the adoption. We will tell them what we can handle and rely on them to help. We've now met 4 social workers from the Staffordshire area and they all seem rather capable/nice so that's encouraging. We'll send off our form this week saying we want to proceed and then we will be assigned our Home Social Worker.

Carol, I hope Sarah is OK, I bet the waiting is getting harder in this situation. 

Karen, you must be going over your Form F now. We were told that sometimes you can get to attend the panel, will that be the case for you?

Ann and Ang, although the course is intense it is also incredible interesting and informative. Not long until you find out yourself.

I'm sorting our my clothes this week as we're off to Majorca on Monday for two weeks holiday. I must admit, our minds have been in overdrive this past week thinking about the adoption and I think we could both do with a chance to switch off.

If I don't get a chance to get on-line again beforehand I hope everybody has a great Easter.

love
Cindy


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## KarenM

Hi Cindy

Glad you found the course interesting did you do the whole lot in a week? We did ours a day a week for four weeks. Like you say there is a lot to digest and a lot of thought provoking issues, and it doesn't stop there. Wait 'til you start the form F!!

If you are anything like us, you will still be thinking whether or not you have done the right thing.

We have decided to be in attendance at panel. I think we are scheduled on first thing. SW is bringing our papers to be signed off on Thursday and then she is coming back on Friday to collect them as we are going to waiver our right to the 28 days to look at them. I can't believe that in just over 3 weeks we will hopefully be approved adopters.

Saw an advert tonight for Staffs Adoption and Fostering on ITV Central, must be in need of more families.

Hope you hear from the SW soon and have a lovely holiday, enjoy it while you can!!

Love
Karen x


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## KarenM

Girls

I have to share this with you, obviously things are really playing on my mind, although this is quite funny too.

I had a really bizare dream this weekend. I dreamt that we had been matched with 2 boys, 1 aged about 18months and the other approaching 4. We got on really well with the younger boy and felt we could proceed with adopting him, however the older one really freaked me out and as we are going for a sibling group we have to take both.

We couldn't bring ourselves to tell the SW that we did not want to proceed but I was really freaked out by this older boy and was scared. Scared about saying no to the SW but scared about having this boy live with us.

And this is the weird bit....... the older boy had two heads!!! His head that was in the right place was alien like, his face was really white with big black ant like eyes and antenae, and his 'normal' face and head (although this looked a bit like a cabbage patch doll!) was on his arm between his wrist and his elbow.

One of our big fears is what if we don't get on with the children we get matched to and how do we say it isn't right is something that has been playing on both of our minds for real, so obviously I must have been thinking about it sub conciously.

If anyone out there analyses dreams, I would love to know what this means, just please don't send the men in white coats around!!!

Love
Karen x


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## *Kim*

Karen

You are just going through the process of being a mummy.
When your pregnant most women have weird dreams about the babies so your going through the same process.

Do you not get a chance to get to know the children first?

I really hope this works out for you, and i am sure you wont get a 4 year old with 2 heads. 

Love Kim x x x


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## cindyp

Hello again, I have managed to get on here before the holiday. The company I've been doing the accounts for have just phoned up, they've all come down with bugs and felt it was only fair to warn me off rather than risking me catching something for my holiday. So here I am with an unexpected free day.

Have to say Karen I agree with Kim, although you are obviously crazy which is why you're going through the adoption process, I don't think they'll take you away just yet. Your dream is perfectly normal, merely an expression of last minute nerves. Let's face it you're about to be approved before the end of the month, it's enough to make anyone anxious. I keep having imaginary conversations with an imaginary social worker regarding my life history. I can't wait to get a real one so I can get it over with, everynight my mind is turning over with hundreds of thoughts. Although I'm beginning to realise I may never sleep normally again. I didn't want to get up for work this morning and my husband teased me by pretending to be a demanding toddler.

"Mummy I want breakfast!!!"

As a renowned non-morning person it is part of the parenting process I am least looking forward to. I have had past experience with my neices/nephew and preparing breakfast at 7 in the morning whilst trying to clean a soiled mattress can't really be described as enjoyable.

On another note, they mentioned the TV advertising during the course. It seems that they are short of adopters, particularly non-white adopters, or those who are willing to adopt older children. 

Ann, I hope the course goes well for you.

Hope everyone has a great easter, I'm off to find the mozzie repellent.

love
Cindy


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## molly2003

hi girls have phoned the adoption and it will kick of in may the 2 day course and was told to be waiting no longer than 12 months to be placed with a child we have asked for - 0-2 age... can not wait my happy face is back again   Course starts May
just got a little flu at the moment but still smiling   
p.s. hi karen how is it all going hope you all girls are ok and doing well. xoxoxoxox


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## KarenM

Hi Everyone

Well its official now everything has been signed and sent off to the panel and then TWO weeks tomorrow   we will be in front of panel waiting to be formally approved. We have not been told any time scale of how long it will take to be placed with children, but we have decided that we will give it 18 months maximum from being approved.

We decided that we need to have a cut off at some point otherwise IF and adoption will have dominated the vast majority of our time together and we need to move on.

Karen :
Panel 22nd April

Cindy:
Finished course waiting to be assigned an SW

Carol:
Currently doing home assessment

Ann:
Course starts April

Ang:
Course starts May


Ann - when in April does your course start?

Cindy - hope you are having a good break and that you come back to news of being assigned an SW.

Carol - how is the home study going. June is getting closer by the day

Ang - great news that things are moving forward for you.

Take care everyone

Love
Karen x


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## Bev H

Hi Karen 

Looking good......  .... keeping everything crossed for you and everybody here on this thread.

Love Bev xxx


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## *Kim*

Great news Karen. lets hope it will be very soon after.

Love Kim x x x


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## molly2003

hi    trudy.
our last try was july on ivf.
we had our 1st sw visit in jan 04. we will start our 2 day course in may. how are you girls.. good luck karen


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## everhopeful

Hi Girls
Hope you dont mind me joining you - I've not been on for a while.
We've been to an information session in March, and had a follow appointment with SW last week - now just waiting to receive application form - and get the ball rolling.
We are dead excited. Finally we feel like there might just be a light at the end of this long dark tunnel!!
Been told to expect a year from now to going to panel. Just looking forward to getting started!!


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

Well I am on countdown

*8 days until we are approved!!*

I've been told that it will have to be something really serious for us not to be approved and the SW is really supportive of our application.

Welcome back everhopful, hope you have got the application form and that you are on your way along this journey.

Cindy - hope you had a good holiday and that you have had lots of R&R

Carol - June is getting closer, how is the home study going?

Ann - I know your course is April but not sure what date. Hope it is going well if you have started it.

Ang - not long now until you start yours.

Karen :
Panel 22nd April

Cindy:
Finished course waiting to be assigned an SW

Carol:
Currently doing home assessment

Ann:
Course starts April

Ang:
Course starts May

Everhopful:
Waiting for application form


Good luck girls, don't forget to keep us updated with your progress along the journey.

Right I'm off now to register to get the Be My parent magazine so we can start to look at suitable matches for us. Didn't want to register for it before now as I fell in love with twin boys in there when i was on my course last June so didn't want to have to keep doing that every month knowing we couldn't do anything until we are approved.

Love
Karen x


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## Mummytoone

Fab news Karen

Its so exciting, cant wait to hear the exciting news!!!!

Your piccie in the gallery is lovely. It is just how imagined you to be too. A Mummy to be!! 

Love Lou xxxx


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## Pilchardcat

Wow ! Karen

Lou is right...this is MEGA exciting  So happy that your dream is coming true.....now go get that magazine ! 

Loads of love
Amanda xxxx


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## Dee

Hi Karen

You know what this means ........... you are going to be a Rainbow Mummy! Your dream is coming true in the year of the Rainbow!  

Fantastic news ... I am so looking foward to hearing all about your new babies!

Loads of Love
Dee
xxx


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## Laine

Karen,

I am so happy for you both.

Laine x


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## everhopeful

Karen

So very happy for you!! Brilliant news!!!

So many happy days ahead - you go girl! And enjoy being a Mummy!!!!!!

So chuffed for you! 

xx


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## *Kim*

Karen

Thats brilliant news. i cant wait to see you post that you are a mummy.

Love Kim x x x


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## molly2003

hi karen wow wow im so happy for you your all most there girl to getting your little   ,
you must be so excited . 
so happy for you from all my hart.  lots of   have a lovley week ....
guess WHO GOING TO BE A MOMMY SOOONNNNNNN.......


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## Jayne

Hi Karen 

I don't think we've posted to each other before, but I just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS to you and your dh. You will be a mummy & daddy very soon, and I'm so pleased for you. 

Well done. 

Love 

Jayne x


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## cindyp

Hi Ladies

Just a quickie, although I had a good holiday I now have all the post holiday laundry to do before I go back to work tomorrow.

Karen, best of luck for Thursday, it's great to think you will be approved adopters by the end of the week and I hope you get matched up quickly.

Ann, has your course started yet?

We've had our social worker assigned and am just waiting for her to contact us to arrange our first visit.

Take care all
love
Cindy


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## KarenM

Hi Cindy

Glad you had a good holiday, nothing worse than all the washing though.

I hope you hear from the SW soon. Did you get the SW that you wanted?

Not long at all for us now and the nerves have really set in. It doesn't help having been sent a plan for the table layout that shows 13 people there. I didn't think there would be that many. I am not too bad when it comes to group speaking and better when it is people I don't know, but I am really worried about Rich. I don't want to answer everything for us but don't want to see him struggle either.

I've ordered a six months subscription of Be My Parent so we can hopefully feel like we are doing something towards getting matched.

Well I'll be straight back here on Thursday and posting our news.

Hope you hear soon adn keep us posted on your progress.

Love
Karen x


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## Bev H

Dear Karen & Rich

GOOD LUCK FOR THURSDAY - THEY WILL LOVE YOU - JUST AS WE DO. You are going to be wonderful parents don't you ever doubt that!!!!
Much love as always, Bev H xxxxx


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## *Kim*

Karen

All my very best wishes and bucket loads of luck for Thursday. I agree with Bev they will love you. Cant wait to see your news.

Love Kim x x x x


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## SueL

Roll on thursday Karen, you and Richard have waited a long time and prepared hard for this, you're going to be fab and as Kim say's they'll love you.

Good luck
Sue
xxxxxx


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## mmmbop

Hi Karen
have not posted to you before, but have been following your journey on this thread,
and just wanted to wish all the luck in the world,you will be fantasic parents,

HOW EXCITING!!!,

Love to you both,

mmmbops,xxx


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## DawnJ

GOOD LUCK KAREN & RICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


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## Mel

Good luck Karen and Richard

They will love you, your just the fab parents they need for two lucky children and cant wait to hear your fab news tomorrow.

Lots love

Mel

x x


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## SueL

Karen and Richard, just to say will be thinking of you today and hope all goes well and isn't as daunting as you think it might be.

Love Sue
xxxxxx


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## Bev H

Just wanted to say it again (not that you'll need it)

GOOD LUCK TODAY - can't wait to hear the news 

Love Bev H xxxxx


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## maxbabe

Dear Karen,

I haven't posted on here before but have been following your progress with much admiration.

Wishing you all the very best for today...its just a formality...you are gonna be a mummy.....and its brilliant...

Best of luck


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## KarenM

It's official

We are approved adopters

It was quite a daunting experience but was pretty painless. we were in and out and on our way home within 30 minutes. Just a waiting game now.

They gave us and our SW that there are no children in our area who match our needs. They will give it a couple of months and will then put our details out further afield.

As of tomorrow they will do an agency search within our own area and then pass our details to the consortium of 13 other social services departments. So fingers crossed.

Thanks for all your good wishes and support.

Love
Karen x


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## Mel

*  Fantastic news Karen and Richard * 

We knew you could do it - i cant wait for those special children to be placed with you.

Its so exciting - you have me with tears now, i am all choked up.

 * Wonderful Wonderful Wonderful* 

Lots and lots of love and hugs

Mel

x x​


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## Bel07

Karen

   

That is brilliant news, let's hope you don't have to wait too long. 

Good luck and best wishes.

Love Bel xx


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## DawnJ

DEAR KAREN AND RICHARD

FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM SURE IT WONT BE LONG BEFORE SOME VERY SPECIAL CHILDREN WILL FIND YOU!

GOOD LUCK!

Dawn xxx


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## Dee

*Dear Karen and Richard

Fanbloodytastic!!!!!!!!!!

This is just absolutely wonderful news

You are going to be Mummy and Daddy ..
so very very soon!!!!

Can't wait to hear you have been matched!!!

Congratulations

Love and Hugs
Dee
xxx





















*​


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## Laine

Karen & Richard,

Oh your news is so great to read!

 

Not long now until you are a mummy and daddy. 

Laine


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## SueL

Karen and Richard

_FANTASTIC!!!!
CONGRATULATIONS!
  _
Wonderful news

Love Sue
xxxxxx


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## LizzyB

Karen and Richard,

CONGRATULATIONS ~ what fantastic news,

Your children are on their way 

Much love, Lizzy xx


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## *Kim*

YIPPEE!!!!  

Great news Karen i am so pleased for you. cant wait till you get matched. Mummy & Daddy to be.

Love Kim x x x


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## Mummytoone

JUST WONDERFULL!!!

I am so pleased for you both, you ARE gonna be a Mummy and Daddy soon. Congratulations on alll your hard work

Lots of love

Lou xxxx


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## Debs

Karen & Richard,

Congratulations!   

So very pleased for you both.

Love

Debs xxx


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## GAIL M

FANTASTIC !!!!!

and you will make fantastic parents too Karen and Richard,

       

luv
Gail x


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## cindyp

Karen and Richard

CONGRATULATIONS ON BECOMING APPROVED PARENTS

I was always certain it would be a formality. It's a pity they haven't go any suitable children in your area but hopefully they will find you some soon. Be careful when you get Be My Parent, I've already been subscribing for four months, you just want to adopt all of them!!

So very pleased for you both and hope you get matched up soon.

Love
Cindy

PS. Don't know if we've got the social worker we want yet as we've not yet heard from her to arrange an appointment so we're still to meet. Must admit to being rather nervous and hope we will get on well with her.


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## everhopeful

BRILLIANT NEWS KAREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO PLEASED FOR YOU BOTH - CONGRATRULATIONS!

Hoping you are matched up fairly quickly!!

Loadsa hugs

xx


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## Nicky Duncan-Finn

Hello Ladies & Gents

i'm joining this thread following a recent negative result from our first ICSI Cycle. The whole treatment roller coaster really affected both my dh and I in a profound way and we are unsure if we would like to continue with future full cycles. We have three forzen embies from our first cycle and plan to give these a try in a FET cycle this June.

At the moment we feel that the forthcoming FET cycle will be our last infertility treatment. We have been informally looking into adoption for a while now and I am so pleased to have found this thread and to be able to read stories of people with similar 
curcunstances.

From the info we have been reading, we have got the impression that Social Services ordinarily make people who have previously had fertility treatment wait a year from their last treatment until they can commence the adoption classes pre-ceeding the home study report. IS this true What time scales did those of you already on the adoption path have to face?

I would be most greatful for your help and advice as I feel somewhat lost at the moment.

Best Wishes

Nicola XXX


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## KarenM

Hi Nicola

Welcome to the thread. Each Social Services department vary in the time they ask you to wait between your last treatment and starting adoption. It ranges from about 6 - 12 months. I did n't have to wait as I had not had any fertility treatments and I have heard of some social services departments giving you a cooling off period even if you haven't had treatments.

It would be worthwhile speaking with your local social services team who can best advise you. 

I hope that you and dh find some success with your FET in June. If not good luck with the adoption route.

Good luck
Love
Karen x


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## everhopeful

Hello Nicky!
Welcome to this board. 
I think you're right, and it sounds like different local authorities have different rules about waiting times, depending on where you are.
Where we live (Yorkshire) the rule is 6 months after finishing fertility treatment, and after 1 full year of IVF and ICSI, we've just passed our 6 month mark and I'm very pleased to say we are now on the early stages of adoption!!
Must say though, that although you may have to wait longer, it probably will do you the world of good to have that breathing space. I know how it feels when you don't want to get off the rollercoaster, and you just want to keep going. 
If you are forced to stop, like I was, you'll realise while you're in the "waiting" zone, that it's just the right tonic you will need. Until you are here you don't realise that you actually do need that time to come to terms with everything.
I now know that I have needed the last 6 months to get things straight in my head. And believe me, the time flies by!!!

Best of luck with your treatment though, and please let us know how you get on.

S x 

PS Just to keep everyone updated with my story.....
We sent back our application form last week and have today received a "disclosure form" to fill out and then the checks start!!!! Dead excited!!! ^thumbsup^


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## cindyp

Hi Nicky

We actually started adoption procedures 4 years ago before we did IVF and they recommended a "grieving" period to get over the infertility issues of around 6 months. Our current area, Staffordshire also have a similar waiting time. It is best to waiting, adoption can be a stressful process in itself and I think it's better to have a rest, maybe a holiday before you put yourself on a new "rollercoaster". Good luck with the FET.

We're still waiting to hear from the social worker. I don't know if she's been trying to phone whilst we're at work but she hasn't left any messages. Hopefully she'll ring before the end of the week.

To everyone else, hope you are well.

love
Cindy


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## Nicky Duncan-Finn

Condy, Karen & everhopeful
Thank you all for your welcoming messages and your words of advice. It means a great deal to me to know that there are people out there who are willing and able to help me find out more about adoption.

Everhopeful, how many rounds of ICSi / IVf did you manage in your year of treatment.n The 3 months it took for our first treatment cycle drained me so much, you must be a real warrior to have managed to endure sucessive treatment cycles for a whole year.

I'll keep you all updated regarding our progress and will continue to call into this site to see how you are all getting on.

best Wishes from Nicola XXX


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

how is everyone doing?

Cindy - have you heard anything from the SW? Hope she makes contact soon. I know what you mean now about BMP. there would have been a perfoect match in there but they had been withdrawn? Next one out on 13/5 so I will be scouring it again

Carol - not long now until June and your dream of seeing your little girl. How are things going?

Ann - how did you find the course? Are you waiting for an SW now too?

Ang - when in May is your course? let us know how you get on.

Everhopeful - have you heard anything else since filling in your form?

Here's the latest list I have:

Karen :
Panel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match.

Cindy:
Finished course waiting to be assigned an SW

Carol:
Currently doing home assessment

Ann:
Course starts April

Ang:
Course starts May

Everhopful:
Waiting for application form


Keep us posted girls.

Love
Karen x


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## angiebabes

hi karen i have just phoned the sw office to see when we will have our 2 day course. still not sure when but i do know it will be may...can not wait to get the ball rolling.
i still have to go to the ivf clinic the month to see the docs there i think its about the 3 embryos we have left and what to do with them. and still dont know what to do with our embryos ,
hope your well karen and you get that phone call very soon that phone call with be the best day of your life and as well for 16 happy years      love ang


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## cindyp

Hi ladies

Had the first SW visit this week. I'd like to say that I came away feeling positive but have to admit there was no great connection there for either myself or Lee.

We were just handed a copy of the Form F and told to start filling in some of the sections. She said that she felt the adoption process was like going for a job interview to be parents. However we got the impression that she was more like the interviewer rather than the careers advisor. Unfortunately what really put us out was when she realised that 2 of our 3 referees (my parents and good friends) live in our old home area, 90 miles away. She said that she didn't feel like a 3 hour round trip and was there any chance they could come up to us. When I said that my parents sometimes came up for a weekend, she was put out that it wouldn't be during the week. Are we being a bit unreasonable or should this be her concern not ours?
We were asked to give referees as people who knew us well. The first SW we saw said that sometimes they would get local people to do the interviews, whatever happens we felt that they would be organising the referees interviews, not us. Although they are very supportive of our decision to adopt, I really cannot expect them to be taking time off work to come here to give us a reference.

Anyway that's my rant over and done with. We're not giving up yet. I've got my one-on-one with the SW in two weeks and hopefully things will improve. Maybe it's all a technique to see how badly we want a family. That reminds me, we're going to be naughty. I knew that they expected you to use contraception once you've been approved and I can understand that if you adopt you want to concentrate on your adopted children. However our SW wants us to start using contraception now. As the only positive side effect of ttc for 8 years has been not using contraception we have decided to ignore her until we go to panel.

Ann, how was the course?

Karen, regarding BMP told you so . Hopefully the next issues will bring some more possibilities for you.

Hope everyone else is keeping well.

love
Cindy


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## KarenM

Cindy

Sounds like you have a very un-motivated social worker. It is important that you hit it off with the person as some of the questions you are asked require you to talk about your inner most feelings.

Our SW organised all of our referee visits. Some of ours live about 40 miles from where she lives, but she didn't grumble and did them all. The only thing we did was give her directions.

I would see how you get on with her in the one to one and if you are not happy then I would speak to them about it.

I must admit our first session was similar, we were just given the Form F and asked to start writing some of the pieces about ourselves. it is surprising how quickly things pick up pace though.

Good luck for your next visit.

Love
Karen x


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## Juel

Karen & Richard,
Sorry i've only just seen your FAAAAAANTASTIC news!!!!!yippeeeeeee   .......well done i knew you could do it. ^thumbsup^

I hope you get matched to your lucky twosome really soon,hooooooooow exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Karen you're going to be a Mommy really soon ^cool^ ^cool^ ^cool^   
luv&hugs
juel xx


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## everhopeful

Hello!

*Nicky* - 
In answer to your question - I had one abandoned cycle in March/April last year, followed by 1 complete cycle in July/August and another in Sept/Oct.
Sounds alot I know, but at the time, I just couldnt wait to start the next cycle off as soon as I could.
Best of luck with yours.

*Karen* - 
We received application form, filled it in and sent it back. Had documents checked, and have booked in for medical.
All checks are starting and references sought.
Will let u know when anything else happens!!!!!


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## jolene

Hi All 

Thought that I would join you......Paul and I have just finished our course.....now we wait for them to contact us. I thought that the course was quite hard going but really good we met some nice people there. 

They have told us that in our area they want you to attend pannel when it is your turn to go throught that. 

Love 
Jo


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## Ann

Hi Everyone,

Thought that I would update you.... we have been on our course and we have also been assigned our social worker - we had our first home visit last night and it went really well - she has booked in the next 6 visits and hopefully we will be all done by June 30th!!!!!! we have lots of work to do to keep us busy over the next few wekks then. She reckons we will be ready yto go to panel either the first thurs in Sept or Oct depending on our paper work and peoples holidays etc.
Hope everyone is well - I will try and keep you posted with our progress 

Lots of love Ann xxxxxxx


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## KarenM

Hi everyone

Firstly Welcome Jo!!

Jo and Ann well done you two on completing your course. It is tough going but I think it gives you lots of things to think about that you may not have even considered.

Jo - hope it is not long before you hear from your SW.

Ann - it will be tough going if you have got to do it all by 30th June. We started our home visits in late November and didn't finish all the paperwork until end of Feb. we then spent March putting it all together and the SW writing all her bits up and then for us to check it all through so it could be with panle 2-3 weeks beforehand.

Cindy - hope your one to one next week goes ok, let us know how you get on with the SW this time.

Carol - any news from you yet?

Ang - any definite date for your course?

Right here's an updated list

Karen :
Panel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match.

Cindy:
Currently doing home assessment

Carol:
Currently doing home assessment

Ann:
Currently doing home assessment

Ang:
Course starts May

Everhopful:
Doing all the pre-lim stuff, checks, medicals etc

Jo:
Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW


Still no news for us yet. Had the latest BMP yesterday and keep thinking there would be so many who would match if we had gone for the older age range. Oh well just have to sit back and relax for a bit (while we can).

Good luck everyone  and keep us posted .

Love
Karen x


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## angiebabes

hi karen definite date for course is the 10 and 11 june.
have sent the papers saying we will be there .
getting excited and worried again... 
we are planning to go on hoilday in sep this year might be our last hoilday for a a few years....the next 1 will be with our family little legs.. oxoxo


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## cindyp

I'd typed this all once and then my PC crashed before I could post so here I go again!!!!

Carol, how's little Sarah?

Ang and Molly, hope the courses are going well?

Welcome Jo, did you do your course at Stafford in March with me? There can't be many Jolene's married to a man called Paul and I bumped into Brian and his wife (my brain's froze and I can't think of her name) who said you hadn't yet been contacted by the SW.

Ann, finished by June!! Wow that's quick I hope it all goes well.

Angie, the holiday sounds like a good idea. We've already started down that route this year and we're planning lots of romantic weekends away. Like you say who knows when we'll get the opportunity again. Hope your course goes well next month.

Karen, I'll see you on Saturday and catch up with your gossip. 

Well I'm pleased to say that my "one to one" meeting with the SW went better than our first joint one. Lee and I have decided that maybe we over-reacted because we were so put out by the speed at which she threw paperwork at us and her reluctance to visit our referees. Maybe she was just as nervous as us last time but because she is the professional we thought she'd handle it better. She's still very much a SW if you know what I mean, but I can handle that. I've got another "one-to-one" next week and Lee's got his the week after so we'll see how things progress.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

love
Cindy


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## KarenM

Cindy

Glad things went better than expected today. Good luck for the one next week and for lee's too. I'm afraid there won't be much gossip on Saturday unless the situation changes tomorrow as there is still no news.

Love
Karen x


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## KarenM

Carol, Ang, Ann, Everhopful and Jo

I hope everything is going well for you all too. Don't forget to keep us posted, can't wait until we can all proudly post to say we are parents (you too Cindy)

Take care
Love
Karen x


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

Well still no update from me. We are still pacing the floor waiting for the call. We are taking each week as it comes and trying to plan a late deal holiday around it all.

We have a couple of newbies who have dipped their toe into our world so welcome Kylie and Nat . Feel free to join us and we will do our best to guide you along the journey ^cuddleup^.

Here's the updated list. if there are any updates, please let me know.


Karen anel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match.

Cindy:
Currently doing home assessment

Carol:
Currently doing home assessment

Ann:
Currently doing home assessment

Ang:
Course 10th and 11th June

Everhopful:
Doing all the pre-lim stuff, checks, medicals etc

Jo:
Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW

Nat:
Awaiting allocation of SW

Kylie:
Waiting for a date for info evening


Cindy - how did Lee's individual visit go?

Ang - good luck for the course next week.

Carol and Ann - any news on how you are getting on with your assessment?

Jo - any news on being allocated an SW yet?

Everhopeful - how's the paperwork coming along?

Kylie and Nat - welcome on board. Please don't feel you are on your own in all of this. We are all here to help wherever we can.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## Ann

Hi,
Bless you Karen for being so organised with the list! Well our home asessment is going well.... we have another appt tomorrow morning and it is the one about childlessness so it will no doubt be tough for both of us - then Jon has his individual one on Thursday morning - i feel like I am back at school and doing my homework at the last minute - i guess i work better under pressure - I had all of these good intentions of doing all my writing in good time - there wont be too many nights out in the future so I am making the most of them now!!!!!
I am off to Canada in 2 weeks and leaving my hubby at home  I am looking forward to seeing my best friend but wish he could come too - it will be nice to have a change of scenery amidst all of the chaos!
This thread is so exciting and I cant wait untill we have our children and can compare more stories.
Lots of love to you all

Ann xxxxxxxxxxx


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## everhopeful

Hello Karen

Just to keep you posted.... all referees have sent their forms back, both had our medicals - both officially fit and well (erm!!) and both our police checks have come back clear (thank God!)
So now just waiting for SW's to do their thing!
Will keep you informed if and when something else happens!

Best of luck to you - hope you get that special call soon!!

Hello to everyone else too!!!

x


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## cindyp

Hi Ladies

Karen, thanks for the update on everyone. I take it you haven't seen anybody else in Be My Parent. Every time I look in the magazine I'm either drawn to the babies or the groups of 3 siblings (which we know we can't manage!). Fingers crossed you get matched up quickly.

Hi Everhopeful, good to know you're off to a good start. Fingers crossed you get your SW starting soon. We're leaving our medicals until later, I want to lose a bit more weight first and at the moment we definitely don't come under the "fit and well" category as my DH has bronchitis.

Ann, Canada sounds nice. It is nicer to go with your hubby but just think of all the girly things you and your friend will be able to do. It sounds like you and John are at a similar stage to Lee and I. We've just completed our "one-to-ones" with the SW. I know what you mean about the homework bit, mind you we prepared a load of notes as instructed and she didn't use half of it!!

Well 4 visits down, more to go. Our SW hasn't given us any indication of timings yet but she seems keen to get as many visits done during the school holidays as possible. I think because Lee works at a school she thinks its the best way of avoiding evening visits. My referees keep asking when she will visit them but I don't have an answer and don't like to ask in case it seems like pestering. The main problem with these meetings is that you try to be yourself as much as possible but always feel slightly on guard in case you say the wrong thing. It really feels like a very drawn out job interview. 

At the moment I'm not feeling quite in touch with my "ethnicity". I'd forgotten how keen Social Services are on the whole area. They brought it up when we started the process 4 years ago. My grandfather was from British Guyana but the rest of my family is white English. My Mum and me are dark but my Dad and sisters are blonde. I'd like to be more enthusiastic about my ethnicity but it's never been an issue to me and now I've had to listen to my SW discussing my Grandad almost as much as she did me. I know it's a bit naive but sometimes I wish they would just check out your parenting skills rather than get hung up on all the history issues. I think it was my fault because I put down White under ethnicity on my application form, but I was thinking more about culture and experience than about physical colour. My Mum and I have decided to placate the SW and make her believe we are more in touch with our "black" side by cooking goat curry and black eyed peas when she visits. Does anybody have the recipe ?

Hope everyone else is keeping well.

love
Cindy


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## cindyp

PS, that  was supposed to be a smiley but I messed up as normal. I'm going to try again.


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## cindyp

OK what's going on? It shows as a  on my first post and a smiley on my second. That's it I need chocolate!!!!!!


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## KarenM

Hi Cindy

Glad the visits are going well. Next issue of BMP out next week, so I will be scouring the pages. Still can't get the two that were withdrawn in April's issue out of my head. Going to ring the SW tomorrow as it has been 6 weeks since we went to panel and I need to tell her about the dates we are planning on going away if we have not heard anything from them.

Bye for noe
Love
Karen x


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## KarenM

I have some news..........

Spoke to the Sw today to update on some dates that we are planning for a long weekend and a week away on a late deal. She was on holiday herself last week and she told me that she had loads of details through from the consortium for us. From the limited information she has been given, she has whittled them down to 3 sibling groups.

She is not back in the office until Friday, when she will sort out some more information and decide if they are the right one's for us.

Watch this space. My next post could be to tell you that we might be going to meet our future chldren.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## Mummytoone

Oh my word Karen, so excited fo you both.

Have been looking out for your post, cant wait to read your next one 

Fantastic 

Lou xxxxx


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## Dee

Karen,

That's brilliant news ....... roll on Friday!

Love
Dee
xxx


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## Debs

Karen,

How exciting   

Can't wait to see your next post!

Love

Debs xxx


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## LizzyB

Karen ~ that's so exciting 

Loads of luck,

Lizzy xxx


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## Laine

Oh Karen,

You must be feeling so excited!

I feel like it for you too he he!

Can't wait to hear how you both get on.

Laine x


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## Mel

Karen

Thats amazing love - i am so excited for you both

Cant wait for friday

Mel

x x


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## Bev H

Hi Karen
Great news - roll on Friday - let's hope they finally find your children for you........
Lots of love and luck, Bev H xx


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## cindyp

Karen

That's great news, let's hope she's managed to find your new family. Will check in at the weekend to see how things go.

love
Cindy


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## Dee

New home, girls

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/*********/index.php?board=19;action=display;threadid=9467;start=0#lastPost

Love
Dee
xxx


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