# Sperm Sample....need advice on getting DH to do it!!!!



## Guest (Apr 3, 2006)

_Hi Guy's

Sorry to but in but can I ask you all a ?

My DH has been working up the nerve to do his very first  sample. We had this huge chat about it on Friday. My DH then told me just what his problem is with it/doing it.

He said he has got no problem getting it to the hospital  what he has got a problem with is the thought that when it gets to the hospital some man/lady is going to pick there way through his sample to see what is good/bad with it .

He has never told me this before, this all came out Friday because he was trying to getup the nerve to do it on my last day off but he could not "perform" shall we say.

Have any of you guy's had the same problem? How do you get over these thought's? Do you have any advice that I could give my DH?

I love him to bit's and he has never got as far as lying on the bed trying to do it before, so Friday was a real breakthrough for us.

Sorry to go on

Love Charlotte  _


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## emilycaitlin (Mar 7, 2006)

Hi, My DH is going to do his first one today, and I'm really worried that he won't be able to 'perform' either.  He hasn't mentioned any of these worries to me, but I know he would be perfectly happy if I turned round and said he didn't have to do it.

I think women accept having bits of them and samples of them messed around with a lot easier than men.  I would just try and reassure him that no-one will be judging him, or trying to prove him to be 'less of a man' by analysing his sperm, they just want to rule out that there's nothing they can do to help you on conceive on his part before doing loads of invasive things on you.  One sperm sample is nothing to the amount of tests you have done.  let me know how it goes!!


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## Catch22 (Oct 12, 2003)

He needs reassuring that the analysts in the lab won't even know who's sample they're working with! To them, a sample is a sample is a sample, and their job is to see what they can do with it to help you guys have a child, it's as simple as that. They see so many, good and bad, that there is no judgement made on individual samples!

If he is really struggling to perform, it is within the rules for you to help 

Catch


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## LadyMoonlight (Mar 10, 2005)

My DF couldn't perform at all during his first few attempts at doing a sperm sample.  The only way we could do was for him to do it at home with my  . . .  help shall I say (sorry if TMI)

Basically he has trouble with ejaculating through DIY means.  He's fine during   but can't do it on his own.

So in order to get it done we'd basically  and he'd pull out just before he came and ejaculate into the pot!  Then we'd have a mad rush to get it to the hospital in time to be analysed.  It was the only way he could do it.

He got a bit better at it recently, although his trial sperm wash took about 4 attempts because he couldn't "perform", even at home and he had to keep ringing up and rescheduling the appointment!!


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## snuffy142 (Jan 28, 2006)

Hi there just read your message i am 31 yr old male and DW 34 and we are having treatment for ICSI at St Mary's Manchester. I did my S/A sample in the boyz room had no problem but just forgot where i was and just was thinking i was at home or about the MRS. If i started too think where i was it would not happen its not easy for any guy to come into that small pot.

I have low sperm count 0.1 and in my first S/A it came back with no sperm in it but in the lab the women are dealing with semen each day so they dont care its natural for them and to get a result for your treatment. I find doing a sperm sample easier then passing a urine sample but that just me the main thing when doing a sample just to calm down and enjoy it after all we there to create a family. Will saying that i had to bank six frozen samples started last july and finished in jan. Now me and DW having ICSI treatment she starting jabs tommorrow and egg collection end of month so hopefully we will get our little angel soon in our life's.

I hope this information helped on my story.

Regards

Snuffy 142


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## Guest (Apr 8, 2006)

Thank you all for your advice

DH has tried to do it again since Friday  .

But he got stage fright again  .

He still has trouble getting his head around the fact that some-one at the hospital will be testing it.

Thank you all again

Charlotte


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## acorn (Oct 29, 2005)

i have less trouble producing a sperm sample than a blood sample


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## LadyMoonlight (Mar 10, 2005)

Chazz, if he's still getting stage fright and you don't live too far from the hospital, why not try to do it at home and give him a "helping hand" so to speak?  It was the only way we could get it done!


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## nmbailie (Mar 22, 2005)

My hubby was the same and he sat in the room thinking just about the same, but he couldnt do a sample and he knew he couldnt but now it is just part of the whole process.
Dont worry about it, these people do this all day long it might be embarrassing for a minute but its just science to them.
Hope it goes well for you!


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## ambrosine (May 11, 2006)

ill be honest with you my dh doesnt masturbate..not at all..never...ever...and this is the problem, when he had to give a sample, it was like pulling teeth! literally..he couldnt do it ...took him 1 hour, and finally i left the house, and he thank goodness didi it, but we got to the clinic rather late.
Now im having ivf, im so worried he wont be able to bloody squeeze those buggers out!...

I believe there are condoms around, *non spermicidal* where we could have jiggy jiggy, and he would come in the condom, and give the sample  anyone know about it?



ambrosine


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## Lord Moonlight (Jun 6, 2006)

Hi all just reading a few post on the above subject, i found it much easier to produce a sample at home and then take it too the hospital/lab. Rather than trying to look at a few manky magazines while some ball breaker of a nurse sits there and times you.  Its also much easier to have a helping "hand" bcoz u dont feel under quite so much pressure to perform


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## Nicky1 ☺ ☺ (Jul 9, 2004)

Hello Lord Moonlight

Welcome to fertilityfriends and the mens room 

My hubby also prefers to do his samples at home with a little helping hand  We only live 15-20 mins from the clinic so can get it there in pleanty of time thankfully!

Please feel free to join the other lads for a natter in the mens place to chat thread...... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,55414.0.html If you want to join them leave a message with your details and one of the mods (MJ or myself) will add your details to the first page of the thread 

Nicky x x x


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## wildcat (Jun 1, 2006)

Chazz - sory to hear that dh is having stage fright, that must be very frustrating for you both.

Try to remind him that the person who is looking at the sample will not see him personally as they are probably stuck in a lab all day looking at these all the time, so it's not personal. Also when we did ours we were given an envelope to put the pot into, and just told to leave it in the room, and that someone would come by and collect it.

I'm very lucky, dh has no issues doing this - but we are very liberal when it comes to all things naughty


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## Diddy Ange (Nov 7, 2005)

Sorry to butt in......
DH and I are thinking about going down the IVF route and this whole Sample things has me stressed to the hilt.  There si just no way he can produce at a hospital or even any given time really.

Question for you?
If he did the sample at home and took it to the hospital what is the maximum time you have to get it there?

TIA
Mx


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## skye (Apr 6, 2004)

chazz, i would tell him that they are not picking fault with his swimmers, they are just going to pick out the best candidate to be your baby, choosing the best ones  
mulan i think its 2 hours hun  

my dh only had a problem handing over the full pot, he said it is still warm and the lady knows what hes just done in the room...he feels embarraced   ....i think they should try putting their legs in stirrups with all your bits hangin out while pointed at the door  ....bless em


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## Diddy Ange (Nov 7, 2005)

Hmmm.... 2hours is more than enough time for him to get to the hospital...

Thanks Skye!


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## Imogen (Jul 18, 2003)

We have probs with this too... 

Mulan, I'm sure it is 1 hour, *max.* to get sample to the hosp. (put pot in plastic bag and then either down your top between your boobs pref or in his inside jacket pocket - it must be kept at blood temp - just passing on what 2 of my local clinics say. Also, if you do it by making love and withdrawing some of the first part of the sample can be lost and that's the bit with the highest concentration of sperm, apparantly. (it's amazing the things you get to know about in detail in the wonderful world of infertility, isn't it!).

Unfortunately, ours clinic is 2.5 hrs away....

best of luck, everyone 
Imogen.x


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## larkles (Jun 29, 2005)

Hi

My dh had the same problem when asked for a sample on our 1st appnt this time round. When the nurse went out of the room he said to me it will take me over an hour, am just not up to it, I didn't say anything in reply just ok but was very disappointed. When the nurse came back into the room I said that the reason he can't do a sample is because we made love this morning!! A lie but I could see the relief in dh's face and she said fine, next appnt then. Next appnt I didn't have to say anything he went like a lamb to slaughter. I think the pressure of "having to do IT" at a specific time really adds to the clinical feel of it

Larkles
x


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

Wow what an interesting topic - really thought it was just my DH that got so worked up about it!

He's absolutely fine now "an old hand" -ooooer!!  So many iuis/icsis/SAs it's just second nature now BUT the first 2 were a bloody nightmare.

We were told DEF no intercourse/withdrawl as this would miss the "best bit"!

Also, only had 30 mins to get sample to hos!!! Luckily only live 15 mins away but parking is horrendous!

First time DH would not let me in the bedroom & he went in ensuite - when I asked if he needed a hand he was livid & told me "It's not a sexual act you know"!!!!!!   He did his sample - eventually & threw it at me! 

Next one he got all nervous again & he came home on the bus in his lunch break & I was supposed to meet him at home & give him a lift back - only I forgot it was the day our v chatty Cockney cleaner was in!!!!

DH got home & threw another fit & went back to work on the bus in a BIG huff!


We can laugh at all this now!  He can even manage a sample at the clinic we go to!  It does get easier & it is only cos he's not used to have his bits analysed!

Still, if it gets us a baby we'll both think it's worth any amount of embarrasment.

               
Good luck to everyone else!
Jess xxx


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2006)

Hi All

Thank you for your replies  

I think the same about having to do it on demand, it definitely makes it feel more clinical.  Well it ain't gonna happen for me unfortunately  .  I knew DH was bad around medical stuff but this weekend showed just how much.

A friend of ours was talking about her hubby's leg op (nothing wrong with that you say  )  The next thing I knew DH had left the room and went into the bathroom.  After about 20 min he came out and headed straight for the bedroom   .  I went in after a few minutes and he was lying on the bed with his head at the bottom and his legs up against the wall           .  He almost passed out in the bathroom.

I just have no idea what to do.  I feel really bad for asking him to do it and sad because he cant (they wont do anthing else for me until he does).

Thanks again

Charlotte .x.x.x.x.x.


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