# New to site - just about keeping a lid on my feelings ~



## sara_wake (Dec 11, 2006)

Dear All

Just plucked up the courage to log on following a really downbeat session with the counsellor at Walsgrave in Coventry.  Said it might do me good to reach out to others.

Don't know all the abbreviations, so this could be a long one.

TTC nearly 3 years now - started late, just hit my 41st birthday and can almost hear that clock ticking.

Now on something called "flare up protocol" as I'm a really poor responder to Menopur, even on the highest dosage.  Had a really frustrating year last year, as I was only getting 2-3 follicles and the fertility unit wouldn't let us go ahead, so had several unsuccessful cycles of IUI instead.

Moved to Coventry, got my hopes up again, and they let me do IVF for the first time - so, of course, I thought that's it, it's bound to work, but of course it didn't - got one egg out of 3 follicles but at least it fertilised.

Now had the frustrating experience of abandoning one cycle due to only one follicle and another as I'd got some weirdo leftover follicle which would have interfered with the drugs.   Aaaaargh!!!!

Now taking June off, and trying hard not to bite the heads of my colleagues at work, most of whom already have children and can't really understand how it feels.

Sorry if this sounds like one long moan, but I'm having a hard time keeping a lid on my feelings and tears keep popping up out of nowhere with very little provocation.

And... can anyone tell me how to insert emoticons properly?

Cheers

Sara


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi Sara and welcome to the site 

You have found a fantastic site full of advice and support and wish you loads of luck with everything.

Im so sorry to hear you have been having such a hard time with treatment and i hope we can offer you some support.

I will leave you a couple of links to try out.

TTC over 40...............http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=162.0

Girl and boy thread (fun area).........http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=1.0

We also have a great chatroom (check the index for themed chats). It is often good to talk to people who understand what you are going through. Every Friday Night from 8pm to 9pm is NEWBIE NIGHT Miss TC, Dizzi squirrel or I will be in there to help you use the chatroom, answer any questions, etc. If you can't make it on Friday night, just send one of us a personal message and we will meet you in there at a prearranged time for a short "one2one" session to show you the ropes.

For more info on Newbie Night follow the link...http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=85409.0

Good luck with everything

Kate xx​


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## Jennifer (Jul 22, 2004)

Hi Sara

Welcome to FF 

I am sorry you are having a tough time   Great that you've found FF though as the girls here are such a huge support 

Just click on the emoticons to use them, at the end of the row of smileys says "more" click on that and just click on the one you want and they should appear in your text   Don't use "quick reply" at the bottom of the threads as the emoticons don't come up automatically - click the "reply" button instead 

I expect that is as understandable as a foreign car manual   Hope it makes sense to you !!!

All the best of luck in your journey and just shout if my rubbish instructions do not work and someone else with a better command of the written word will help you out 

Jennifer xx

doh - well done Kate for making much more sense than me


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## coconutkym (Dec 9, 2006)

hello sara i live close ish to u in stafford, but at st judes wol;verhampton. 5 yerasa go whjen i was 37 the investiga about pain and irrugularity in cycle revelaed my biody was starting to shut down fertility wise. i had previusly had 2 ivf cycles at midland fertility services and git v few eggs and they didnt do icsi rioutinely then, so nextr to no likleihood of success.

5 years passed and we virtully gave up on the idea of having a family. . exotic holidays are a littel consolation, but we did cut out all the peiole we knew with babies. 

last year i read about a 50yr old lad having a baby with new husband. thats when i found oput about donor eggs. there are few donor eggs in uk but loads abroad and the cost of ivf abroad is sometimes cheaper too.  

git on internet and researched clinics in poland, scandinavia and spain. we have had donor cycle at Institute marqes barcelona. chosen as kept up contact well and can fly easily to barcelona from coventry with thomsonfly. (they have 60 ladies a week at IM turning up wanting to donate)  

1st cycel got bfp, but did not progress, now trying in july.with frozen embies from same donor. 

the donmor has similar hair, eye, complexion, height  to me. she weighs a lot less, but thats good news!

dh sperm ferilised 9 out of 12 eggs collected with icsi, a better percentage than ever b4.

the cost was not that much miore that UK ivf, but i undrstand clinics in eastern europe are cheaper still.

we took some time to come to the idea of donmor eggs but we have frienmds who are adopted and to my of thinking, if u chose to bring that child up, and especialy if u give birth to it, what does it really matter about the genes it has.  

best wished coco


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## sara_wake (Dec 11, 2006)

Hello

No Stafford's not that far - even closer when you think that I work in Walsall.

Seen another message elsewhere about donor eggs, but don't know too much about the process.  Am assuming you go through normal cycle of drugs yourself too but not a clue.  Looking to go one more time in late June to see what results are.

Feel so much better now I've registered - it's pretty bloody lonely out here otherwise, although I do have one or 2 good friends.  Any info on egg donation gratefully received.

Overall, I'm gobsmacked by all of this - surely my dh only had to look at me and I would get pregnant.

Only upsides to waiting in between cycles are being able to go on a proper holiday, and for those of us members of the campaign for real ale, the opportunity to drink strong Belgian beer for a week or two.

Thanks and speak to you soon.

P.S. When I click on an emoticon, I only get blue type on the screen - can you check to see if this one works? ( )


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## Debs (Mar 22, 2002)

Hi Sara - looks like you have found how to use the smilies  

Its really useful if you can pop into the newbie chats on Fridays - the girls will help you find your way round and its lovely to chat to other people - from all over the UK and some from abroad.

Dont forget we are there for you on the west mids thread too  

Love

Debs xxx


BTW did you see Kate at Coventry - shes lovely


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## sara_wake (Dec 11, 2006)

Hi Jennifer

Thanks for replying to my posting. Still gettting used to this mad technology - I'm a bit of technophobe but it certainly makes you feel less like you're the only person in the world who has been there.

Now all I need to do is to find someone else who loves beer as much as I do and supports Wolverhampton Wanderers F.C.



Jennifer said:


> Hi Sara
> 
> Welcome to FF
> 
> ...


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## sara_wake (Dec 11, 2006)

Hi Debs

Yes, I saw Kate at Coventry - not sure how she managed to stop herself from just shaking me out of my negativity but I got a couple of big hugs from her at the end of the session. She tried hard to persuade me to use the site, but until I did I really didn't appreciate how much of a difference it could make. Certainly is nerve-wracking making a posting and then watching loads of people view your posting, but only one or two who actually reply to you. Same principle as me I suppose - you have to wait until you feel you can say something - it's a bit like baring your soul in public - only thing is everyone who is looking does know what you're going through.

Looking forward to the opportunity to perhaps meet up with people in the area at some point - am already sorting out the pubs but don't know many good places to eat yet. I fancy going swimming as a fairly "safe" form of exercise but going into the centre of Cov with problem parking etc isn't very appealing.

"Speak" soon, Sara 


Debs said:


> Hi Sara - looks like you have found how to use the smilies
> 
> Its really useful if you can pop into the newbie chats on Fridays - the girls will help you find your way round and its lovely to chat to other people - from all over the UK and some from abroad.
> 
> ...


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## Debs (Mar 22, 2002)

Sara - the first time I seen Kate I wasnt sure exactly what to expect.  Then before I knew it I was balling my eyes out for the next hour and a half and felt mighty better for it.  She has helped me so much and is such a lovely person I'd have no hesitation in recomending anyone to see her.

Now depending on where you live in Cov there are a few different places you can go for a swim    Some schools do evening swim classes and of course there are gym and swim things in a couple of the leisure hotels (but depends on how often you go as might be a bit expensive  )

I know it feels strange posting on here - but believe me you will become addicted    and will be having a chat to anyone and everyone before you know it    Everyone on here does understand what you are going through and will be there to hold your hand and support you throughout.

If you want any further info re swimming and where to go - drop me a message and hopefully I can help you find somewhere local and nice for you.

Keep smiling hun  

Love

Debs xxx


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## coconutkym (Dec 9, 2006)

hi sar and dh.

u seem to have made friends already!!!

dh and i have been pretty useless in baby making dept.  we joke and say with both of us having real bad eyesight and suffering depressuion(b4 infertilty problems) it was natures way!!  

there is no waiting list for donated eggs at Institute marques in spain. see their website for prices. u go once after sending all yr history to see dr ,and then a donor is located within their reguister. so that vist is just a  2 day trip. we made out it was a city break weekend to work

then u coordinate yr cycle thru taking the Pill with donors and go to spain for embryo transfer. yr dh can leave at first visit for freezing , but i heard "fresh was best" so dh came with me to spain and did his stuff at egg collection., i had 2 embies transferred 2 days later and then flew home. u will have patches of oestrogen and pessaries of progesterone to support embie. the 2nd visit for transfer can take 2 days min or preaps best 5 days esp if dh does not leave frozen sample.

similar process with other clinics abroad. 

Im have back up donors coordinated too, in the case the 1st donor doesn't produce enuff eggs.

if u are keen see the IM board on abroadies.

best wishes coco 

dh and i dont do football, but everyone i work with is a wolves supporter.


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## sara_wake (Dec 11, 2006)

Dear Coco

Thanks very much for the info. A little confused here when you say about co-ordinating the pill with the donor as I always think of "the pill" as the contraceptive pill. Anyway, I'm sure that if I look into this in more detail I'll find out what I need to know.

Appreciate you responding so quickly.

Hope your friends are feeling more cheerful now they've been able to see their arch rivals, West Bromwich Albion (otherwise known as Sandwell Town by us Wolves fans) lose to Derby!!

Cheers

Sara



coconutkym said:


> hi sar and dh.
> 
> u seem to have made friends already!!!
> 
> ...


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## coconutkym (Dec 9, 2006)

yes it is the contarceptive pill. y tkae it for a s long as the clinic say in order to bring yr cycle into line with donor, so u can end up taking it for seveal weeks to delay AF

best wishes


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