# New & looking for support - ttc 7 1/2 years



## Missymoo82 (Jul 17, 2012)

Hi new on here but been lurking for a while reading posts & gathering lots of useful info!

Kept thinking about joining & here I am on Xmas day!!! Not enjoying Xmas at all again  especially as our last ivf no 2 just failed last week!

Bit of background on me -

Ttc 7.5 years...!
I have a very low AMH of 3 & have been diagnoised as having diminished ovarian reserve & low quality. I also suffer from severe endo mostly around my ovaries & pelvic area. My partner luckily has no issues.

We have just had our last ivf nhs cycle with Liverpool womens hospital. Looking at pushing for further tests now for immune issues & hormone in-balances before possibky moving onto to donor eggs. Feels like we've been on this nightmare for ever which is close to true after 7 years 

It would be really nice to make some friends on here. I'm struggling with friendships at the moment or lack of understanding in them. I also don't have any childless friends. Just recently found out just as my ivf failed that one of my best friends is pregnant with her second.. She wanted me to find out as she 'needed' to put her news on face book! As you might imagine I'm struggling to find anyone that understands! My mum & husband are being amazing luckily! Esp as in the last year 17 ppl I know have gotten pregnant.. Mostly friends & work colleagues.. There's just no escape!

I find myself now living indoors the majority of the time & since going through ivf my work life has suffered badly! 

Anyway sorry to prattle on. Like I said would love to make some new friends with ppl that actually 'get it' 

Nicole x


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## Judi86 (Dec 6, 2012)

Nicole, I'm not enjoying it either I'm sorry to hear of your awful time.  Just wanted to say hello as you're on here today and so am I, just looking and reading and escaping!  I hope this is the LAST Christmas of you feeling like this I really do hun! Bugger all on telly too lol

Judi xxx


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## Missymoo82 (Jul 17, 2012)

Hi judi thanks for replying.... Yesterday was pretty grim but I can imagine there was quite a lot of us going through infertility that feel the same  

Friends etc kept texting me yesterday with 'try to enjoy your day & put it behind you for a day'! I know they mean well but reallly... If I could do that I'd be doing it every day! Think my friends with children forget Xmas I's probs the one day you can't forget ESP as its centred around children! 

Sorry for the rant! I'm feeling so bitter right now  

Glad I finally decided to join on here tho even just reading through posts makes me feel I have a lot in common with other ladies which is reassuring xx


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## Judi86 (Dec 6, 2012)

Ha well I've just woke up (lazy cow) and my sister and step sister are here with their step kids so my parents can give them their presents! Very eclectic family!  So it's not over yet, can't wait for them to go so I can eat all my Lindt chocolate and watch downton abbey that my df wouldn't let me watch yesterday! Lol

I know sometimes all you need is a bit of a rant, and you never need to apologise to those who know what you're feeling! 

Hope today will be a nicer day for you!

Judi xxx


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## Emma28 (Aug 11, 2011)

Hi Nicole 

Sorry you are not enjoying christmas there are lots of us in the same boat. I'm not particularly enjoying it this year too, this year has been a very disappointing and sad year for me also with regards to ivf.
I completely know where your coming from friends do not understand and all though try to say the right things they never do. I have so many friends/work colleagues who have got pregnant this year or had babies. I really wish I could be completely happy for them without this bitter-why is it not me feeling! 
I have had to avoid ******** these last few days as everything is so focused on children/babies in xmas clothes etc. Christmas is very hard for us and your right the one time you can't forget.
I think I am going to push for immune testing too in the new year before trying again with the frosties we have left.
If you would like someone to prattle on to feel free as I'm sure I know exactly how your feeling.
Lets hope 2013 will be a more successful year for us. 

Emma x


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## Judi86 (Dec 6, 2012)

Oh Emma I know what you mean, ******** yesterday was just all about kids and babies! Got me a bit teary in the evening! Good luck for 2013 I so hope it'll be your year xxx


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## Emma28 (Aug 11, 2011)

Judi I hate ******** at the moment its like pure torture! 
I'm having my teary moment today instead. Can I blame the hangover blues?
Thankyou wishing you all the luck next year too! 
xx


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## Missymoo82 (Jul 17, 2012)

Hi to you both, im with you on face book grrrrrr   I actually hate it as well & even deactivated my account yesterday as heard about another pregnancy including the usual scan pics   

Plus as i said on my first post one of my best friends has just put face book before my feelings so its a real sore issue now!

So glad to be sat here with Xmas nearly over.... i hate that i feel this way. We both used to love Xmas esp DH. Its well & truly been knocked out of us this year.

Emma im so sorry for your heart break this year as well from reading your signature. I wish i could wave a magic wand & stop all of our suffering. Which hospital are you at? Were at Liverpool Womens Hosp. Were hoping to have immune testing through them or thru Dr Gazvani who is a consultant there but has his own private clinic in Liverpool & Harley St. 

xx


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## Emma28 (Aug 11, 2011)

Not far from you we are at Manchester Care but have been referred there on the nhs through Wigan and leigh for treatment using DE. I'm waiting for an appointment in feb back with nhs to see about using frozen embryos and I'm going to see if they will do any immune testing. Otherwise going to pay and have some done through Manchester Care for piece of mind ! I have been doing lots of research then I know what to ask for and why I want them doing etc! I feel like Ive already diagnosed myself.
Coming of ******** for abit is prob a good idea I should follow your lead! Yes roll on the end of crimbo and the new year for a new start! 

xx


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## Missymoo82 (Jul 17, 2012)

Hi Emma, I recently contacted care manchester ref mine immune testing & they do carry it out. They said you have to be referred by your current consultant or gp. 

Iv heard good things about treatment there & may even consider them in the future depending on what we decide to do next.

Roll on the new year the waiting is agonising isn't it. I swear I could get a degree in infertility now with the amount of reading & research I do   

Xx


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## Emma28 (Aug 11, 2011)

Care Manchester have been really good with us and no waiting lists for DE if thats what your next move is. No positive outcome YET but there WILL be!!!

I didn't know you had to be referred to have immune tests so I will keep that in mind. I'm really hoping that the nhs will at least do some basic ones. The consultant at Care seemed to just think we had been unlucky though and the miscarriage was just due to chromosome abnormality but I am not so sure I would rather check these things out first before using the frosties.

Yes it is amazing how much I now know about infertility too. It is crazy!! There is so much waiting your right I am not the most patient person too it just kills you at times plus having no control over it all. grrrrr!!!!
Well I am off to the sales to take my mind of things. Hope your feeling better today xx


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

and welcome to Fertility Friends   

FF is a lifeline for everyone and anyone, seeking support, information and lasting friendship whilst going through fertility issues. FF members are fantastic listeners when when family, friends, doctors and sometimes even partners just don't "get" what you're going through and feeling.

I've included some forum boards that may help answer some of your questions   
Have a look round the site and if you get a little stuck with the navigation side of things - please ask and we'll do our best to guide you.

*Diagnosis ~ *Click Here

*Endometriosis ~ *Click Here

*Fertility Investigations ~ *Click Here

*Complementary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ *Click Here

*Poor Response/Low AMH/High FSH ~ *Click Here

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. CLICK HERE

FF's chat room is a fabulous place to 'meet' and chat with others. Our newbie chat is every Wednesday. A great chance to meet other new members and find out a little more about how the site works: 
*Newbie chat ~ *Click Here

All the best - our paths may cross again in other areas of the site.

Good luck,

  

Tis xx


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## Princesslea (Nov 25, 2012)

Hi ladies

I've also been looking at care and Manchester fertility centre for donor egg ivf, it's just so expensive! My friend had de ivf at mf and got a bfp first time so I'm tempted to use them.  I like like the idea of the exclusive de package care offer but it's just soooo
Expensive!

With regards to ********, deactivate ur account, this is what I did for a few months and then deleted all the people that got on my nerves when I decided to go back on it lol


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## Missymoo82 (Jul 17, 2012)

Hi, yes iv been looking at the prices on manchester care for de & it's very expensive. I do think if we decide for sure next month on de we will go abroad. I think the price & the success rates are better. We've been looking at Cyprus thru Liverpool that's why I'm keen to stay with them but not 100% happy with their care so far.

I'm actually starting to feel very overwhelmed with it all. My failure last week on top of it being Xmas & now not knowing which way to turn is so daunting. I'd more than likely go somewhere else if it wasbt for wanting to use Cyprus. Feel trapped almost  . Wondering whether we should go for a consultation at care anyway.

Although after speaking to Liverpool today about my notes it appears I can't get copies of them for ages. It's ridiculous & so frustrating!

Emma, hope you enjoyed the sales xx


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## Princesslea (Nov 25, 2012)

Chin up hun   you''ve got to be so strong and it's great we have this great website to air our thoughts and vent our frustrations...

Are abroad treatments a lot cheaper than treatments here? If so how much roughly would you be looking at paying for de ivf?


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## Missymoo82 (Jul 17, 2012)

Hi, I can only comment on Cyprus at the moment as that's the only clinic iv really looked into so far. The price is around £8,300 which is obviously very expensive but the success rates are around 80-85%. 

If you compare paying either £4,900 at Care for shared donor or £9,800 for your own donor when the success rates are only around 50% it makes a difference to go abroad.

I think from what iv read on the boards so far other clinics abroad are cheaper that Cyprus. Say Serum in Athens or Prague. 

It might sound daft but we just feel comfortable with the thought of Cyprus as we got married there & its got links through Liverpool who were with now so it kind of makes it easier for us with regards to pre-treatment before going out there.

xx


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

Hi Missymoo!

80-85% success rate?  Success rate of what?  I can't believe that any clinic's success rate of pregnancy or live birth is that high.  If it was then I am sure everyone on here would be flocking to it!

Sue


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## Missymoo82 (Jul 17, 2012)

Hi Sue unless the clinic are lying or false stating here it what they say on their website....

http://www.ukcfa.co.uk/index.php/faq/egg-donation.html

We suggest that you stay at least 7 days in Cyprus. This allows for a blastocyst embryo transfer which is where the embryo is allowed to develop for 5 days if you so wish. although most of our patients have been advised to have an embryo transfer on day 3 which has been giving us an extraordinary pregnancy rate of over 85% lately (April 2012, RG).

Why Choose UKCFA: Pregnancy rates in excess of 80%.

I emailed the clinic a couple of months ago through Liverpool as they run the UK side & they confirmed this is correct.

/links


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## Missymoo82 (Jul 17, 2012)

Out of interest I just did a search for other clinics in Cyprus to see what their success rates are:

North Cyprus IVF - Results for 2011 are 88%  

Dogus - Results for 2011 are 90%

Not sure why the results are so high for Cyprus.  

In comparison I also checked a few other clinics in Europe:

Alicante Spain - Results for 2010 / 11 are 75%

IVF Spain - 68%

Eugin - 61%

Life Clinic Greece - 75%

Embio Greece - 70%

Cyprus does seem to be coming out on top no idea why. But it appears other clinics aren't too far behind. Most of the results i looked at are for my age group (30).


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## HopefulEmma (Dec 28, 2012)

Hello ladies, 

Missymoo- I really felt for you reading your first post, I only know too well. Everyone around me has children or babies, expecting or trying (then conceive first time)! I feel I don't really have anyone that understands fully, luckily my mum and partner are amazing. My work life is awful- I explained one day why I was upset a while back to a supervisor, due to my work load getting on top of me and got told 'oh well it's just one of them things'! If only! 

Bit of history- I have been attending LWH Hewitt Centre under Dr.Gazvani & Dr.Kingsland. My First IVF treatment is due to start Jan/Feb I am terrified after trying for a family for 3years it will not work. I thought I would join here to meet like minded ladies. 

I would like to wish everyone every happiness. Stay positive ladies. 

Emma  xxx


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## Missymoo82 (Jul 17, 2012)

Hi Emma nice to hear from you.

Yep people's attitudes is way up there on my annoying list   I'm sorry your work isn't being understanding. My company recognize IVF which I'm so thankful for so I'm getting the right support but some peoples attitudes are still bad. They make out like its a life style choice... really to put yourself thru hell  

My consultant (Dr K)  told me he strongly believes its a life style choice to not want children & that to reproduce is completely natural (or is supposed to be) & that everyone be it humans, animals, insects etc all follow the same path in life which is to reproduce. So anyone who tries to be little what were going through is just ignorant!

Wow rant over lol.

I'm struggling with friends more than anything, it hasn't helped that iv totally removed myself from everyone to cope. But I'm so hurt none of them have tried to understand or put themselves in our shoes. Like my mum & husband keep reminding me tho why should they?! Would we if we'd never been thru this....! I like to think i would. But how can they when they all have babies, pregnancies etc. Iv become very bitter & jealous but from what i'v read this is a common reaction & my counseller says very human!

I think the best advice i can offer going into IVF is to communicate with your husband & mum as they will be the ones that truly understand. Iv actually massively included my mum in the whole process by taking her to app's / scans etc esp when my husband has been struggling with time off work. Its really brought us closer together & opened her eyes more to the whole process. Apart from my hubbie shes my biggest supporter & defender through this all now & wont hear a bad word said about me  

Apart from that i think knowledge is also really useful esp when dealing with the hosp! Make sure you ask for what you want or question why there doing something or not. Iv got stronger & found my voice more as this journey has gone on.

Good luck with your ivf, please keep in touch & pm me if you want to chat xx


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## HopefulEmma (Dec 28, 2012)

Evening,

I totally understand as regards to removing yourself friends, I do find it differcult to discuss this with them. I don't whether I feel I can't or I am embarrassed. Plus I don't want fake symphony or pity- that sounds awful doesn't it? I am close with my Aunt who had Clomid first time and had twinnies. They are now 7. So my aunt does have some understanding that it is a long bumpy road. 

I may consider taking my Mum along, she would love that. I think she knows that this is a differcult road & me and my other half are doing the best we can to make her a Granny.  

My next appointment is first week in Jan for the Hewitt centre hopefully get some dates set in stone- not quite sure what happens from now. 

If you don't mind me asking how are you? I hope 2013 is a good year all round, after all they do say good things come to those that wait.. 
Xxx


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## Missymoo82 (Jul 17, 2012)

Thanks Emma, I'm feeling a bit brighter dare I say it! Iv spent the week researching & planning our next move. Reality will set in again next week when I'm back at work  iv avoided real life over the last couple of weeks which has helped me heal a bit again. It's just finding the strength to keep going with it all but what's the alternative  

I think if you've already had your consultation your next step will be your drug app & then you should be ready to start.

Xx


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## HopefulEmma (Dec 28, 2012)

I think you need to keep positive. There has got to be light at the end of the tunnel. It's hard not to let all the down falls affect you and how you feel but you know that there is always someone to turn too- your family & like minded people who want to listen and help on here   all the ladies seem like a good bunch.

This seems surreal talking to women who actually want to listen & understand, I am so glad I joined. I am constantly talking to my other half about what's going to happen least this way he can get me talking about something else for a second hehe  

Xxx


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