# Dealing with family



## mrsb2013 (Apr 18, 2016)

Hi guys

OH and I have been trying for 14 months - finally got a BFP last month but it was a chemical. We went on hol and had been feeling loads better but this week two of OH's cousins, same age as us, announced pregnancies. Their Mum (OH aunt) is also incredibly vocal and telling everyone under the sun how excited she is.

To say we're struggling is a HUGE understatement. We are down and in tears all the time. We are hurting from grief, jealousy and every other horrible emotion under the sun.

We have chosen not to tell many people about our difficulties as we just can't take the sympathy - we prefer to manage in our own little world. However, in a couple of weeks is a big birthday gathering for OH's grandad where all the family will be and all these scan pictures will be passed around and the focus of conversation.

We have decided we're not going to go. I hate myself for it, I want to be strong, but I just can't. It's too much. I just wondered how other people have dealt with family in particular? They just ask and talk about babies literally all the time!

14 months in my strong face is becoming worse and worse - I don't want to end up cracking!


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## MrsRL (Dec 11, 2013)

Hi MrsB, sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancy  

I can understand it must be a huge struggle with your OH cousins and aunt being so vocal about it all as well. We had to endure a family party after a failed IVF cycle and have my DH's cousin's scan photos shoved in our face and it seemed to be all everyone was talking about. It's not nice. After that we have managed to avoid any family parties with that side of the family but it's likely we will have to go to one later this year. Could you attend the party and mainly keep your distance from them where possible and just stay for a short time so that you're there for OH's grandad? Does anyone know about your struggles at all in the family? I know what you mean about not telling them, I don't like the misunderstandings and sympathies! Plus one of my DH's aunts has a mouth like a fog horn!! 

I hope you can find a way to look forward and do what is right for you. It is very difficult dealing with family especially when they don't understand xx


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