# Changing child's name on Adoption Order



## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Hi all,

Our la & VA have advised not to change our Los name...we've never called him by his official name he's always been for example Ade not Adrian. 

We've got the forms to complete on the AO and it says 'name you want the child to be know as' . Our LO knows his name to be the one we call him and I personally think it's easier to use this as the official name rather than explain to schools etc he's called Adrian but please call him Ade. 

So what's stopping us from changing it on this form?! 

X


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

There's nothing stopping you changing it, have you discussed it with his/your SW.

When filling in all school forms they do ask, or at least ours did what we wanted the child to be know as.

Good luck we are about to put in for our AO for our daughter


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Thanks mini moo  

Yea discussed it & they've just said we have no reason to change it which I guess no we don't either but it's just he's not known by that name anymore it is just an official name. It would be his middle name so we would still recognise it as a given name by his birth parents. 

Good luck with yours too minimoo, felt great receiving it ready to sign!!


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## Sun Flower (Jul 14, 2008)

In our LA we were told the judge does not like name changes and putting a new or altered name on the forms could delay the AO being granted. It needs to be approved with SW I think?! Although they officially cannot stop you changing, they can drag their feet with the paperwork and cause delays etc.. Always best to have the go ahead from SW or adoption clerk at the courts first, good luck x


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

The other thing to remember is that if you want to adopt again, they might question why you went against advice.  

I was dead set against name changing, then we adopted a little boy with a unique, made-up name, with a security risk in his background and ended up having to change it.  That's life!


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Grrrr just typed a long reply & it vanished!

Thank you all 

I guess we're keeping the long name then an just using nickname...I just always think of wen the. Local paper has a school event photo with his name he won't be allowed in it but yet if we changed the name it would look less likely to be theme

Don't want to get on the wrong side of social aervices! X


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Hi,


We were told we couldn't change lo name as it's part of his past and identity (not that we wanted to anyway) but we did change his middle name as is was silly with our surname. Eg middle name simon last name simon.


With regards to photos and schools, I don't know if it's the norm but When I registered my lo in pre school I had to sign to say what photos I would allow and where they could be used. 
They said they would take two group ones, one with him in which would only be given to us and kept in his file and another without him which they would put in their newsletter. 


Xx


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

If you put the name you want on the form, it is extremely likely the Judge will agree to it, regardless of what the SWs say, as he will know that you could just change his legal name by Deed Poll once he is yours anyway, a very simple and straightforward process.

It will, however, pee off the SWs most likely, so if you plan to adopt again at any point it might not be advisable.  Your son could also have questions about why you did it when he gets older, but then again, he may not.  

We changed our daughter's name, although that was ordered by the Judge due to security concerns - quite a common occurrence in one of our local courts.  We completely changed it for various reasons, and it bears no resemblance to her original name.  We have simply decided that if she feels strongly about it when she gets older, we will let her change it back to her original name, but spelled correctly so she isn't quite so easy for b/f to find if he decides to do so.  There was also an Order that our son's name could be changed, but it's a very mainstream name and we didn't think the benefits outweighed the potential future disadvantages.  It's not a name I would have chosen (mostly, because it's my father's name and I would not have chosen to name my son for my father), but actually I really do like it.

All the best, whatever you decide.

Wyxie xx


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## bulmer (Sep 5, 2010)

Could you add your choice of name as a middle name and then simply ask that every one use his middle name ?  It's very common to add a middle name of your choosing and I don't think your SW could criticise you for that.  XX


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

bulmer said:


> Could you add your choice of name as a middle name and then simply ask that every one use his middle name ? It's very common to add a middle name of your choosing and I don't think your SW could criticise you for that. XX


I have a friend who I work with called Jane, 'Jane' is written on her security pass (I work on a secure military site) but her first name is actually Emma.

So it can be done. Also my friend is called Ady but actually named Adrian.

We have added a middle name to munchkin's name and obviously her surname will change, she's never known her first middle name and so it's an easy swap. Plus she loves the names we have chosen.


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Thank you all  

I was just shocked on this form it looked like it allowed you to add what you want. I expected it to b pre filled as they all knew the middle name an surname we would like. 

Good luck to all sending their orders off! I hope theyre speedy! X


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

We changed DD's name - very identifiable - and in early meetings SWs were against it, but when we started intros they relaxed a bit about it. We went ahead anyway, they can't stop you - they may prefer you not to, but they can't actually prevent it. We just made the right noises in the early days to keep her (very grouchy) SW manager happy, but the actual SW and ours fully understood it. We later discovered her FC had been calling her something different anyway....I always wondered why she never responded when anyone used her name!! She took to her new name instantly.

The forms went through the Court without a murmur and her first name became her middle name. We kept DS's first name the same as not identifiable, but changed the copious middle name(s). Both our children were given between 3-5 middle names which was a bit overkill!!


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

All advice is totally fab as always.  My view is weigh up what has been said and do what feels right  to you. We kept names we were lucky they're nice. We were read the riot act about changing names and how disproved of it was etc and that they wouldn't go ahead  if we planned to change names at our initial visit from girls sw. However now we all know each other I've openly discussed the fact that I think within the next five years name changes will be standard as the true risk  the Internet will be established and documented.  All of them have agreed with me.  So they know they're talking text book paragraphs they're trained to say. I'm not saying reasons for not changing aren't valid.  I'm just saying privately all / most SW's know that the tide is turning xx


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Interestingly we're in the early stages of being linked and initially the child's profile was shown to us with just his initial. When we asked sw his name she told us, immediately followed by but he's young enough for you to change it. We hadn't even broached the subject and certainly hadn't thought about it as only discovered his name when she said. 
We've yet to meet his sw so it will be interesting to hear her take on things.


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Spot on about true internet risks....if my Los want to find them I'll help but I don't want a BP sendin him an email at 13years old.

Bec interesting they said you could change, our la said tey allow name changes under 1...our LO was under 1 when placed so I might take it further an push to change it just so we feel less at risk. Gd luck with matching


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