# Little ones seems to now go to anyone



## daisyboo

Hi our little one has been with us 6mths now he is 20mths old and just recently he puts his arms out to strangers and he never used to do this, i find it quite upsetting and wonder if i am doing anything wrong,
He just goes up to people and wants them t pick them up rather than come to me  anyone else had this??


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## Guest

I do not have an adopted child but I would see this as a great compliment to you as his Mum  . DS would walk off with Jack the Ripper and I know I must instill some awareness of strangers in him at some point but right now I am very happy that I have a confident child who wants to interact with others. Only the other day he started singing Jingle Bells to a lady when we were out having dinner  . Don't see this as a rejection of you. Be happy that you make him feel secure and confident


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## dawny36

Hi Daisyboo,

This can occur in adopted and birth children once little ones start toddling about and gaining confidence, just try and limit it if you can I know its difficult my AD did this quite a bit around the same stage then she would talk to anyone and everyone which I have discouraged as I was trying to build attachment and she needed to know just to come to mummy for her needs. with birth children they can do it for very different reasons as they already have that attachment with them from birth, its nothing you are doing wrong but I understand how you feel it used to really upset me.  

Take care


Dawny x


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## coxy

I remember our little one approaching random people and asking to be picked up, i spoke to our sw about it and she said i should just explain to D that we dont know that person and so we cant ask them for a cuddle, and it actually did work but lately D has been getting more affectionate with friends and family, my friend who came round today was treated to lots of cuddles from D and it makes me happy as i know shes happy and settled with us.

Was a bit shocked thou the other day that D gave the opthomalogist a hug after our appointment!

Coxy.


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## wynnster

Firstly   it feels horrible when this happens but take comfort that it is nothing you have or haven't done. 

LO will not view strangers as a threat, after all he went to live with some and they turned out ok (in his mind).  Just gentle reassurance and guidance as to what is/isn't acceptable and in time he will learn.

xxxxx


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## Old Timer

My DS used to talk to everyone and anyone especially in supermarkets, he was in the trolley so couldn't just go up to them though this was a concern the FC had raised.  I repeatedly told him that we didn't know the people in there and so we shouldn't speak to them as we don't speak to strangers or go anywhere with strangers, I also used to remind him on our way to the shop and as we were going in.  It took a while but it did sink in and he did stop.

OT x


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## Mummyof2

Hi, I agree with what everyone has said.  It is just a phase some children go through at this age.  My children did it.  What I used to do was bribe them to come back    When they went over to a stranger and lifted their arms up or hugged the strangers legs I used to say " ..... name ..... do you want a/some juice/sweets/raisins/crisps/breadsticks/Thomas train (whatever favourite thing you have with you) ?  Come and get some from mummy then" and that stopped them in their tracks with the stranger and they used to rush over to me.  Sort of conditioned them that Mummy was combined with good things.  Worked a treat


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