# Surrogacy where to start COTS or SUK?



## Marie2008 (May 30, 2008)

Hi all,


Some advice please? I've just had my 6th IVF failure   . It all seeme so hopeless. I may have one last go in the Autumn but my main aim is to now start trying to find a surrogate. I get good quality blastocysts but have immune issues preventing implantation.


I have read about it and understand the basics of how it works legally and the cost and how to find a surrogate.


Does any one have a view as to which is better COTS or SUK? How did you decide which to go with? Are there any other agencies I should consider?
Who has the most surrogates registered?
Can I register with more than 1 agency to increase our chances of finding a surrogate?
Realistically how long could we wait?


Thanks for any advice offered.


Marie x


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## poppins (Oct 20, 2004)

Hi Marie,

Firstly I'm sorry you have had another failed ivf go, its so heart wrenching and very frustrating, not to mention costly too.

I researched lots into Surrogacy before starting down that route and was keen to find out about those two agencies, with COTS as good as they can be it was too much of a buisness arrangement that I didn't feel comfortable with personally, they find you a match then you meet and see wether you get on etc? With Surrogacy UK they believe you need to make friends first so we actually went to a couple of their socail events which were very well run and the people we met were very friendly and informative, I still use the site now occasionaly. It was two years ago that I looked into it all and one year ago that we went to suk socail events, we had a final ivf go after this, and although I was considering joining them they had put a tempory block on IP's (Independant Parents) joining as they were waiting for more surrogates to join, so I went about it on my own, we have friends going through surrogacy too and they were very helpful in how to go about it all, and assured me we didn't actually need to pay a lot of money to join cots or suk at all, Surrogacy is more commonally used, known and talked about now that there are many organisations to join online. 

I joined Friendship through Surrogacy, and Surrogacy Network UK, both are free, we found our Surrogate on Surrogacy Netwrok UK in January this year and after 3 months we were on a getting to know each other stage, thats considered quite quick and it can take longer? but if you research and network lots it can be done, i would advcie to network as much as you can, reply to questions get involved in topic conversations and send personal messages to surrogates to ask any basic questions you have, this way you will get to know many people and you'll find you click with one before you know it.

I meant to add we start ivf next wednesday as we are doing host surrogacy, so will be using our own embryo.

Good luck! 

Poppins, (I'm called Julie on both of the above sites!)


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## Marie2008 (May 30, 2008)

Hi Poppins,


Thanks so much for responding. I'll take look at the other sites. That's great you can join for free. 


Surrogacy UK does seem very built around social events and making friends which I am ok with but has terrified my DH. He is quite quiet / shy and I think would feel very uncomfortable in that forum ie trying to be friendly in a social setting with the sole aim of getting people to like us in order to help us with something so massive as surrogacy!


I think we both probably feel more comfortable getting to know someone via chatting and seeing if they would be interested in getting to know us more once they've read a profile of our story, who we are and why this is so important to us.


You're right this is the most scary thing we've had to face / consider so far but reading on line there seems to be lots of great stories where it's worked out so well.


Good luck with your cycle. I hope your dream is now just round the corner!


Marie x


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## mumtomadkids (Mar 29, 2011)

Hi im a surrogate and found my ip's pn surrogacy network uk im going for transfer this week in russia.
you dont need to join a place that chargers to join hope you find your ip's soon kim xxxx


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## Marie2008 (May 30, 2008)

Thanks mumstokids,


I have just joined. It's not quite as user friendly as FF but I'll stick with it.


Does anyone have experience of surogacyfinder.com?


Do you have to pay to chat to people on there? It seems like you do.


Marie x


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## LouGhevaert (May 18, 2009)

Hi

The main thing is to make an informed choice that feels right for you.  Do your homework and don't forget to get to grips with the legal position - as the legal issues crystalize as soon as a pregnancy is established.  How you manage the legal issues in practice can have a big impact (you'll need to think about specialist Wills, birth certificate arrangements, your eligibility for a parental order and the court process and other things as well).

Best of luck

LouGhevaert


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## Marie2008 (May 30, 2008)

Thank you for all the Advice!


Alice - good to know I can join SUK but then go at my pace ref the social meetings.


Marie x


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