# Thinking of being an egg donor



## MandE (Sep 16, 2008)

Hi all, I'm new to the board and, as the title says, i'm thinking about becoming an egg donor.  I have one son who was conceived naturally & one the result of IVF, in which I egg shared. I was of course overjoyed that my IVF worked, but I was really sad that unfortunately it didn't for my recip. My family is complete now & not a day goes by that I don't thank my lucky stars!! I want to help someone to at least get the chance to be as lucky as me.

The thing is, & I don't know if this is strange or not, but I really want to know who I will be donating to. This never occurred to me at all when I was egg sharing - but to be honest I was more wrapped up in my own treatment at that point. But now I feel like I would want to know. I don't mean that I would want to meet my recip, or even necessarily communicate with them, but I would like to know a little about them, their ttc story etc. Would a recip want to know their donor? I'm not sure if a recip would be against this or find it preferable to know something about where their eggs would be coming from? Does anyone know how I go about this as to my knowledge, all donors  donate anonymously?

Thanks for any thoughts... MandE x


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

i'd guess you could either respond to an ad or news article... or strike up a link with someone via this site.


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/content/view/511/99/


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/content/view/512/99/


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## MandE (Sep 16, 2008)

Hi thanks for that.  Am I right in thinking that the link you posted is just a template of how an advert should be rather than an actual advert itself? Do you know if people do actually advertise for a donor & (if so) where I might find such an advert? I know lots of people want egg donors, but other than going to a clinic and being an anonymous donor, I don't know how to do it.

Thanks for your help,

MandE xx


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

MandE said:


> Hi thanks for that. Am I right in thinking that the link you posted is just a template of how an advert should be rather than an actual advert itself? Do you know if people do actually advertise for a donor & (if so) where I might find such an advert? I know lots of people want egg donors, but other than going to a clinic and being an anonymous donor, I don't know how to do it.
> 
> Thanks for your help,
> 
> MandE xx


I think that link is an actual advert, and FF has also advised clinics that such a format could be used for further ads on here.

The London free papers have ads in for egg donors, but tend to be very generic and along the lines of "Contact x clinic and quote our ref.." Occasionally local papers have articles too about women seeking help.

I'd suggest contacting Tony from FF about any contacts he has... I also know that there are women (donrs and recipients) who have struck up a friendship via FF and donated.. Suszy and Angela, for a start (Suszy has a 2ww diary going under the FET heading atm)

Good luck. It's a lovely thing to do.


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

PS That Lister ad is someone asking for a donor to join the pool and get them to the top of the waiting list that way, rather than direct donation.

Some couples are very keen on arms length anonymous donation. 

There are some who like to have known donation.

I'm guessing you're thinking of something in the middle? Not to play a role in the life of the child, but to have some contact with or information about the recipient?


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## MandE (Sep 16, 2008)

Thanks for all the info. Perhaps some adverts will start appearing on here now that I could respond to.

Yes, I don't want contact with the child / children or to keep in touch with the recip or anything like that - just to know basic info about them like their ttc history, the sort of people they are etc. I'm not sure why this bothers me but I feel like if I donated anonymously I would always be wondering about the recip, if that makes sense. 

I can understand why some recips would want an anonymous donor, but from reading the thread about what questions you would ask your donor - it seems that some recips would like more info too. I evisage them emailing me info about themselves ie a bit about them & their ttc story & anything they want to know about me & then I'll answer their questions - that's about the level of involvement I would want. I'd also obviously want to know if the treatment had been successful - but that would be it!

Thanks again for your help, MandE xx


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

MandE said:


> ... from reading the thread about what questions you would ask your donor - it seems that some recips would like more info too. I evisage them emailing me info about themselves ie a bit about them & their ttc story & anything they want to know about me & then I'll answer their questions - that's about the level of involvement I would want.


I think you're right, I'm sure there are women who would very much like to have that sort of information.

Hope you find your recipient


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

THis seems to be another perosn wanting a donor to come fwd for the pool at the Lister

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=155420.0


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

and

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=154297.0

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=154506.0


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## MandE (Sep 16, 2008)

Thanks for those links. Reading the last one seems to indicate that some recips would like a known donor so hopefully I will find one (or one will find me!)

I really appreciate your help. And if anyone is reading this thread who is looking for a donor - get in touch!

Lyndsey xx


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## MandE (Sep 16, 2008)

Just to update - I have found a site (thanks to someone who sent me a pm) where recips & donors actually advertise for each other. Im not sure about it yet - it reads like classifieds - but then, is that really so different from posting on here that im looking for a recip?? Im not sure   It has least clarified that some recips are happy to have known donors & that some donors (like me) would want a known recip! I've also spoken to my sister about it & she thinks she would feel the same if she were to donate (she can't, she's too old).

Anyway, I wont be donating until at least the end of Jan (if I find a recip, of course) as im planning on bf my son unitl he is 12 months old. But it would be nice to know who my recip is going to be by that point so the ball could be rolling so to speak. I've already had all the necessary tests done when I egg shared previously, but im not sure if these would need to be updated now that they are over a year old?

Thanks everyone,

MandE xx


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

Some tests would still stand (CF and karyotyping for eg) but you'd need HIV and Hep C done again/up to date. You can get them free from an std clinic!


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## Yxx (Jul 17, 2008)

Hiya

Being a recipient I was told of the different ways of egg donation.  I don't think what you are wanting to do would work though.

A donor could either be altruistic in where they donate to a clininc and the girls at the top of the list benefit from their eggs or a known donor where they are a relative or friend of the recipient.

From what I gathered from the Nuffield Woking clinic I go to, for known donors they hold a consultation with both the donating woman and her partner and if are accepted and still want to go ahead they then have an implications counselling session along with me and my husband to make sure we have all understood everything about donating and receiving.

I think I remember them telling me that if a match was found for me then I may get a little information about the donor e.g. egg sharer, altruistic, age, hair colour etc... but more detailed information is only made available to the child if they chose to find out when they are old enough.

Perhaps if you approach a clinic and ask that if you were to donate would you be able to find out the few details you are after?

I hope you find a solution, it is such a wonderul thing to want to help other women not so fortunate.

Yxx


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## MrsSmith7 (Jul 11, 2008)

MandE... just a quick post to let you know that it seems your FF inbox is full so it currently can't receive any more mails   

Smithy xxx


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