# I'm starting to dispise her! I want to tell my partner



## Kllkkl2006 (Jan 15, 2012)

Hi all
Well what can I say
I just need to vent
My partners sister recently had a baby boy after 3 abortions
She only had this baby because she had used all of her NHS abortion arghhhhhh she makes me sick!
Problem is only I know about these abortions as with my struggle to get pregnant I'm really hating her for what she's done in the past
She so blazzeh about it it's Rediculous
My partner her brother has starting noticing that I'm really off and sharp with her lately and he keeps askong my why 
But it's not my place to tell him is it? I really resent her!
Her son is gorgeous and I love him so much but I fear he doesn't appreciate the opportunity she's been given as a parent and this boils my blood!
She doesn't know my fertility problems as I don't want sympathy 
By she's one of those girls thats always saying so when you having one!!
Like its the new fashion accessorie 
And it doesn't help that every were I turn there's a drug addict or alcoholic pregnant it boils me so bad sorry just needed a rant x


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## rory2011 (May 31, 2011)

I would tell him why you're being off with her. I am sure he will understand. ...if not he'll probably think you're going mad 
It is so hard coping with infertility whilst around you everyone is getting pregnant at a drop of a hat.....I don't know how we do it at times.
We haven't told many people about our IVF tries as I can't deal with the unhelpful comments...like relax it will happen, why don't you try X,Y,Z and these often come from those who got preggers on first month of trying....if it was that easy we wouldn't be having IVF!!!

Anyway, rant away...it does help
xx


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## Kllkkl2006 (Jan 15, 2012)

Thanks Hun I just dont know if it's over stepping the mark if I tell him
But it's eating me up!
Thanks for your reply


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## helenj33 (Sep 12, 2012)

If he doesn't know about the abortions I wouldn't tell him that.  But you can always say that her having a baby is just too much for you at the moment and you need a bit of space from her.  That way you haven't broken any confidences but you can still save your sanity.

Hugs hun, it's so hard when you seem to be surrounded by people who don't seem to 'deserve' the opportunities they have.


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## Kllkkl2006 (Jan 15, 2012)

Hi Helen thanks for ur reply
Thata a good reason but he's one of these look on the bright side it be us soon 
People
Oh well day one clomid for me tomorrow so fingers crossed I can banish these feelings


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## Suke M (Jun 29, 2012)

Hello

I would tell your partner what is going on as you shouldn't have secrets from him, especially one that is bothering you so much.  I can understand that you don't want to break a confidence, but she sounds fairly irresponsible to be using abortions as a form of contraception and therefore can hardly stand on her soapbox spouting morals when her own are so questionable.  This process is so hard and you need all the support you can get from your other half and not telling him will alienate the two of you.  His sister may already assume you have told him anyway, but just found it easier to talk to you.

Whatever you decide to do, try to take comfort that it will happen for you so you must never give up hope


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## Kllkkl2006 (Jan 15, 2012)

Hi suke hun

Yeah I may have to tell him I don't have secrets from him but as this is his sister
Its a bit bordering on fine line it's his family not mine and I dont want it to be arkward
I do think it's going to come out when I et really mad any way so may need to break it
To him soon
Yeah am trying to be positive I'm feeling better now as AF
showed today so CD1 tomorrow  x


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## Daisy-Chain (Aug 12, 2012)

Sorry to hear what you are going through  

I have issues with my DHs sister and the one thing I have learnt over the years is not to keep things from him whether I think he will like it or not.  I have been burnt a couple of times by her telling him and also then telling him that I knew all along, then he wants to know why I kept things from him.  It really is such a difficult situation to be in, a horrible one infact! 

I now, whenever she wants to confide in me, I will say 'is this something you don't want your brother to know' and if she says yes, I tell her not to tell me then.

I hope all goes well when you tell him, you need to think of you and if this is affecting you when you are TTC yourself, then you need to get it out.  Good Luck


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## Kllkkl2006 (Jan 15, 2012)

Hi hun thanks for that
Yeah it's eating me inside out cos I just keep screaming in my head
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU HAVE BEEN!
people who take things for granted boil my blood
When the time is right I will tell him xx


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## sazzasarah (Jun 29, 2010)

sorry to hear it is so frustrating for you. it sounds really tough to cope with.

I was at the hospital today sorting out my next cycle, and there was a girl outside, in a dressing gown, smoking, and about 6 months pregnant. As I went past she said to her friend "And I said to him, I won't ever let you see your baby, so you better not talk to me like that!!"

I definitely had that same feeling of "you don't know how lucky you are!".  It must be hard if it's someone you see regularly, people around you who don't seem to be appreciating their good luck.

good luck talking to your partner about it. xxxx


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## Kllkkl2006 (Jan 15, 2012)

Yeah Hun it's discusting people need to take a long hard look at there self
I didn't tell him eek


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## LittleL77 (Jul 14, 2012)

there is more dignity in silence....but I know how you feel xxxxx


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## Nosilab (Jun 29, 2011)

Hi *Kllkkl2006*

How absolutely outrageous!! No wonder it's making your blood boil! 

I'd just like to echo everything that *Suke* has said. I think you should tell your DH, the IF journey is difficult enough without having to deal with this on your own and hide a massive secret like this from him. You need to think of you and DH now, you need to have a strong bond and trust each other for the journey ahead. It's not fair on you to keep that secret tucked away when it's driving you  Let it out to him, share the pain and just say you're telling him in confidence but that you need to get it off your chest. I think he might be more upset if he finds out at a later date that you didn't tell him


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