# A Little Inspiration, Maybe?? xx



## JazzaJazJaz (Sep 12, 2010)

Hi everybody, long time no post, very long time.

If you all remember me, I'm just giving you all a little update about life etc...
I think I've moved on. Not for good, but I've got to the stage where I can look at toddlers without wanting to smuggle them away! Haha, everything's looking up. Hubby has been an absoluter darling and we've been all over the world this summer, Paris, Berlin, Kenya, many other places...and I'm starting to think maybe I was never meant to have kids. Maybe God, if there is one, had it down from the start that I'd never be a mum, but be the really cool aunt who everyone loves xD And, as my hubby says, we're not the kids type of couple, I mean, the summer we had, even we struggled to keep up with at times so I don't know how a baby or toddler would. Well, it wouldn't be fair on them would it? I'm now starting to see what he means by us not being a "kid couple" if you get me? We go to all these weird and wonderful places at weekends, we go walking, we go cycling, we barely spend any time in our house! I think what's also helped in the past year is I've surrounded myself, quite deliberately, with people who don't have kids by choice, and people who have older kids. Obviously, family who've had younger children I've had to deal with, but the expression "Smile and wave" comes to mind....for example, I became an Auntie four weeks ago when my sister had a little girl and I remember going to see her and just thinking "Come on, Jaz, its your niece, you can be the mum without being the mum, you can take her shopping and just buy her stuff, not having to worry about the price." Little positive things like that have been getting me through those difficult moments. What's also helping is because I teach older teens, 16-18 year olds, they're never on about babies or being pregnant or anything like that. They moan to you that someone said something about them or whatever's happening on I'm a Celeb....yes, I have to deal with the occasional colleague pregnancy, but the department I teach in are all blokes so it's only ever on the grape vine...
I am getting better, I don't think this longing is ever going to go away, but I'm now thinking of other things. I know its materialistic but I'm buying myself a new car next year, another great little zippy thing xD I also take comfort in indulging, buying things that I love...shoes, jackets, scarves that sort of thing. Anything that will take my mind off the "What If?" as opposed to the "What is Going To"
And, if anyone out there is struggling at any point, don't be afraid to ask for help. From your partner, from siblings, even from your parents. My mum was a real shoulder, especially when my sister had just announced her pregnancy and when she had her Baby Shower. My husband has also been brilliant but I can't keep singing his praises 'cos we'll be here all night 

Sorry for the long-winded post, I'm just giving a little inspiration (hopefully) to say that it can be done, you CAN move on, even if it feels like you'll always be longing for that little baby, let me tell you that you can move on.


Good luck to everyone trying to move on and those ttc. You're all in my thoughts and prayers.      

Jaz
xxxx


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## sammij (Nov 9, 2005)

Hi Jazz

That is a fabulous heartfelt post -didn't want to read & not say anything.

without knowing too much about your background ( & from reading your signature post -heartbreaking times you've had)
have you given up the thought of kids alltogether?  the reason i ask - me & hubby have had 9 yrs of fertility treatment, 6 ivf cycles & not a single BFP  - never in a zillion years did i think this would happen to me - but then again -why not me??

we are now considering adoption - but i don't want it to be a knee jerk reaction and tbhwy - there are so many negatives on the adoption route - i feel that i have had 'enough'.

soemtimes we feel like we're not a 'kid couple' - looked after my goddaughter a few times & she sleeps over - omg - its such hard work and when she goes home i almost collapse with a glass of wine & am then tyding my house as its such a mess!!!  

i do wonder if fate has this is mind for us all along - not everyone can be parents and there is a life out there to be lived - we shouldn't be judged whether we have children or not and i do sometimes feel thats the case.

thanks for sharing
xx


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Beautiful and heartfelt post! couldnt read and run xxx


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## LadyG85 (Mar 14, 2011)

Jazza, That post has just made me shed a tear! Although its not the end of the road for me, and i've only just failed my first IUI its made me feel like there is hope either if it happens or it doesnt!

I didnt want to read and not say anything, but I really hope you are well and enjoy doing what you are doing!   xxx


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