# Childrens Books - Any Thoughts?



## Cupcakekisses (Jul 9, 2013)

Hi everyone,

I thought I'd ask a jolly question after my first forum post being more panel nerves than anything (4 weeks tomorrow...eek  )

I'm a HUGE lover of reading to children from birth, and have a love for Childrens books in general (all my friends with little ones now know what to expect from me at Christmas!)

I find it fascinating that there are childrens books out there that are aimed at educating in an 'age appropriate' way about adoption and wondered if anyone has bought any and if so, which ones and whether they liked them.

I've just bought 'The Teazles Baby Bunny' which is lovely (and has a bit of guidance at the back as to how to get the most out of the book, genious!) and am looking at a couple of Todd Parr books.  My idea is to be able to mix a couple of 'related' booked in with the normal kiddie ones (Humphreys Corner...awww) and then randomly read them on occasion (or hopefully they might become the kiddies favourites!).

Enough waffle from me! xxx


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## Doofuz (Mar 9, 2008)

I have Flora's Family' and 'Guess How Much I Love You' as well as the Todd Parr book about adoption. All very good in my opinion, I have so far read them to my little brother to prepare him for our adoption. All from Amazon, slightly cheaper than in shops.


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

I have brought a blessing from above, my parents picked me, heart of mine, and tell me again about the night I was born all about adoption. I love a blessing from above. I got them all from amazon


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

If you are just looking for some lovely childrens stories that aren't adoption focused, find your local The Works bookshop. I have bought loads of different ones, some for just £1! We are big book lovers so already our LO has there own library and we're not even at panel yet!


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

I'd be interested in any suggestions for adoption books for pre-school kids which have absolutely no religious content in them.  A couple of people have suggested things in the past that only have a passing religious content, but when I've got them I've found they're very much "god brought me to you".

We have The Teazles Baby Bunny, but everything else I've found is either a little bit "old" for a 2 1/2 y/o, or religious.  We are not.

Cheers, 

Wyxie 

Edited to add: We love Guess How Much I Love You as well.  It ties in nicely with the Teazles book as well, hares being not much different to a rabbit, to a 2 1/2 year old.


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## Handstitchedmum (Mar 24, 2013)

Has anyone here considered making their own?

I'm sure with enough collaborative effort and crowd-funding ala kickstarter, we could come up with something nice. I have some experience producing art books for charity. All we need is an artist and an author. Or plural.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

The red thread (gorgeous for older children) 

The family book Todd Parr

Chocco's mother 

I am reading these with various aged nephews to get the idea of adoption in the air as a concept before telling them about us in particular x


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

Ooooh Gwyneth, when I saw you had replied I thought you were volunteering to write the story book with the brilliant HSM illustrating.... the disappointment


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Ha ha if I get inspiration I will definitely can't draw though x


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## Cupcakekisses (Jul 9, 2013)

Ohh I love all the suggestions! JesP we're not at panel yet (did I mention it's 4 weeks tomorrow lol) but I'm collecting books as they seem the most appropriate thing I can buy that doesn't make me feel like I'm going to jinx it haha!

Ordered the Family Book (Parr) today so looking forward to seeing that, I also thought about getting a 'grandparent' book to give both our parents if (WHEN!) we get a yes as panel....kinda like an adoption equivalent of the scan photo...or am I really as crazy as I sound?!

HSM I can stretch to reading kids books with funny voices and actions   but writing one may be a bit too out of my reach, I do love the idea though and would support it however I could.

Has anyone else sat and thought about telling other little ones (I'm thinking family here, not stalking nurseries lol) about adoption? I sat pondering over how our children will grow up being able to accept it but others might not understand and it could be uncomfortable for them? Gwyneth how are you finding it? I read The Teazles Baby Bunny to my friends little girl tonight but she's not 2 yet and just pointed at the rabbits and said "boing boing" (super cute!!) xx


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## Poppets Mammy (Mar 7, 2011)

I have all the books mentioned above, in particular I love 'The Teazles' and so does poppet. Red thread also a lovely book. There's quite a few family member orientated books out there, we have loads but I am fond of 'I love my daddy/mammy' by Giles Andraea and Emma Dodd, although not adoption specific I find books that help LO understand typical family roles very useful as she had no concept of family dynamics when she moved to us. 

Handstichedmum - I have quite seriously consider writing my own, I have bought most of amazon in terms of books that I felt would assist or are particularly adoption related but have been quite disappointed over all. There's so many challenges adopted children face especially when first settling into forever homes, the amount of time I've thought 'I wish I had a book to help explain that' is no joke. I keep meaning to make a journal or little notes incase my thinking turns into a reality but at the min it's all safely stored in my head, lol. I am no author, my English is shocking to say the least (I am English, just don't have a way with words) and my illustration is questionable. But it's something I'm interested in and something I've been proposed to take further than just thoughts but I just haven't quite found the time to put what's in my head onto paper yet with settling poppet in. 

Xx


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## Handstitchedmum (Mar 24, 2013)

Well, Poppets mummy, you are in luck! All I have is book production skills (type-setting, page design, printing) and a "way with words" aka editing. Regardless it is nothing without what you have: passion and stories.

Your experience with the 'market' plus adoption means that you probably have some good stories to tell that people want to hear and share with their children. 

Now all we need is an artist.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

It's early days yet CCK the reason I bought a few books is because (I posted upset a few months back) I was watching Toy Story 2 with my nephews and there's a part where Mrs Potato Head says to Mr Potato Head "there adorable lets adopt them" about these alien toys that followed him everywhere. Nephew 3 (aged 6)said what's adopted, nephew 2 (aged 7)started an explanation and nephew 1 (aged 9) cut in and said no that's not it. 

At this point I was curious so said - What is adoption nephew 1. His response nearly made me cry. He said - It's when your real Mum and Dad don't want you so they give you to someone else to look after you. But there not your real Mum and Dad, they'll never be your real Mum and Dad, they're just people that look after you. 

I asked what he thought a real Mum and Dad was he said - You know the people that grow you. So I said oh I think a real Mum and Dad are the people that love you, care for you and look after you. 

So I realized that young children are being given quite strange and prejudice ideas about adoption. In societies defense I think that no one actually talks to biological children about adoption so they make up their own ideas from the messages that they are given in other places. E.g. Most biological parents justify their love and relationship with their children via things like - I could never love someone as much as I love you because I carried you, fed you etc, you Dad and I brought you into the world etc - in terms of biology. So children see this as the route of family and love. 

When a step parent is introduced peoples response to the other parent is - they'll never be their Mum like you  only you can be a mother to them. Instead of celebrating (however hurt and jealous they may be) the introduction of another parent figure who will love their child etc. 

A few ladies suggested books to combat my nephews prejudice with and we are dripping it slowly. For me I am only actually going to say "We're adopting" when we are matched. Nephews will announce it to everyone they meet - rightly so. However we all live in the same small village that they attend school in so if we told them now they whole village would be watching for the arrival of small children from today   . 

I have found the books useful read he Todd Parr book with nephew 3 he asked why some families have 2 Mummies or Daddies, why some have one parent and what adopted is. Nephew 2 piped up about adopted being living in a children s home like on Tracey Beaker. I told him very firmly that wasn't adopted and Tracey Beaker isn't very true to life. I explained that sometimes when a Mummy and a Daddy grow a baby but they can't look after it properly and keep is safe so a social worker has to take the child to a foster family so it is safe. Then if they Mum and Dad that grew them still can't keep them safe then the social worker looks for a new Mummy and Daddy who can love the child and look after them. When the social worker finds the new Mummy and Daddy the child goes to live with them forever and they are a family. That is adopted. Nephew 3 said like you and Uncle DH with us   . I said no that's different we are your Auntie and Uncle and love you very much but you have a Mummy and Daddy that can look after you. 

Anyway later on Nephew 2 read Chocco's mother and said - I bet the bear adopts  him (it's about a little bird looking for a Mummy) which is the end of the story so that was good progress. Still early days. Sorry longest post ever but needed full story to explain really.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

The other thing I meant to say is we have thought a lot about how to answer the "Why we adopted" questions for kids and we are going to say - There are lots of ways to build / become a family and this is the route we chose they wanted a Mummy and Daddy and we wanted to be a Mummy and Daddy so together we make sense. 

If they ask why we didn't grow a baby - Which my nephews will they have grown up surrounded by farms so it will be a natural question to them. We will re-literate the above. We will obviously in an age appropriate way be completely honest with our Lo's and tell our Lo's about ICSI - Probably starting with we tried to grow a baby it didn't happen, the Dr's tried to help but they couldn't and all that left us heart broken. We decided to adopt, found you and our hearts were happy again. However what we don't want is friends and families children giving our Lo's information about our journey to them before they want to / are ready to hear it from us. 

If others struggle with that and feel they 'need' to answer their children's questions more fully. I'm afraid I'll get brutal and force them over a barrel and tell them perhaps I will start telling my and their children about some of their conception stories / parents reaction to pregnancy etc many of which aren't pretty or perfect. When the concept of complete and full honesty from the point go involves them I am sure they will begin to understand that my way is best.   x x x x


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## Cupcakekisses (Jul 9, 2013)

Gwyneth I'm going to have another read of your post when I've composed myself in the loo's (and won't get told off at work)   - you shared some very wise words, thank you.  I'm new to these boards so still trying to catch up but your experience around the Toy Story 'moment' has brought a lump to my throat...off to gain composure I go.....   xx


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## Jacobsmum (Feb 23, 2013)

Good morning all

Sorry I can't offer any artistic skills, and hope you don't mind me butting in, but I have been trying to get a range of books for my little one (double donor, single mum) that reflect the fact that families come in all shapes and sizes - this is the reality for all children now, so it is a shame that eg Gwyneth's nephews don't have a great understanding (yet! - I'm sure that will change soon). 

I tend to emphasise (but not all the time!) when I read general or popular children's books the 'non-traditional' families, and non-traditional roles - eg single dad in both Gruffalo's Child and Guess How Much I Love You; Pippi Longstocking lives entirely on her own! 

'And Tango Makes Three' is about gay male penguins (based on a real story!) 'adopting'... (no real mention of 'adoption' as a concept, but egg's BF couldn't look after it, + no mention of god at all - provoked outrage amongst some fundamentalists in the US and was banned from schools in certain states... but a lovely story). Have started reading it with my little boy - the two dads thing pretty much passes him by, but he likes penguins since we saw some at the zoo.  

The non-traditional roles (ie not all girls are princesses/ boys knights) is fun - and I think important, since 'being different' /peer pressure can cause stress or problems in so many ways and it is vital that all children see that there are different types of family, different interests, different abilities and that's what makes the world. 

I really expected more questions from nieces/ nephews - especially about the 'father' thing, since I am single - but it hasn't come up with them yet. A friend's older child has recently started asking, so I have a DCN book for single mums that I will read /leave lying around when we next visit... 

It's great to have even more ideas! 

best wishes, and apologies again for butting in
Jacob's mum

ps - buying books is great, but especially if you have time (eg awaiting placement) then see if your local library has them/ will order them (you can do this as well as buying a copy!). You want this stuff to be mainstream, and libraries want to reflect the lives of all children who may use them. I work with adults with mental health issues, and have had a few books for children whose parents are affected by such issues.... one child said 'yeh, but that's from yer social work bookshelf, I can't like show it to me pals' - got the same book from the library and (a) it was ok to have it and 'show it to pals', but (b) random other kids could come across it in the library and it might make them /their parents or carers think a bit about depression/ anxiety/ family members being ill.


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## Cupcakekisses (Jul 9, 2013)

Jacobsmum you weren’t butting in, I think it’s great we can all share experiences and ideas, that’s what this is all about.  We’re lucky to have our library over the road from where I live and I’ve been meaning to nip in to see if they do any toddler groups/activities, I never thought of seeing what sorts of children’s books they have but I’m going to make sure I ask now (and arm myself with a list of some that I’m going to ask them if they’ll stock).

Your non-traditional roles comment was interesting too, I work in a ‘male dominated’ job (am yet to work with a female in 7 years) and I had never really thought about it until our SW pointed it out as being a positive attribute as it means I accept diversity, which I do whole heartedly but putting it into the context of princesses and knights is a really good way to think about it at a child’s level.

Gwynth now I’ve recomposed myself I’ve read your experience again and although it’s sad that your nephew 3 has such a negative view of adoption I admire how you are dealing with it and trying to educate them about it.  I also love your thoughts behind how to answer the ‘why are we adopted’ question and think your ideas are lovely.

I’ve jotted down all the books mentioned up to now, so thought I’d add the list to the bottom of this post so anyone looking can see from a glance, obviously we can add to them still as I’m sure there’s loads more!

The Teazles Baby Bunny (3 recommendations)
Flora’s Family
Guess How Much I Love You (2 recommendations)
A Blessing From Above
My Parents Picked Me
Heart of Mine
Tell Me Again About The Night I Was Born
The Red Thread
The Family Book (Tod Parr)
Chocco’s Mother
I Love My Daddy/Mammy
Gruffalo’s Child (single Dad)
And Tango Makes Three

Have a lovely afternoon everyone. xx


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

I have 'Blessing from above' which I love, it's adorable and was a gift before LO came - made me cry! I also bought Tell me again about the night I was born for someone else. The compiled list is great - something to refer back to when LO is a bit older.


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## Handstitchedmum (Mar 24, 2013)

Just read this news article on adoption e-books for children: http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/story/318740/lifestyle/literature/children-s-e-books-show-that-adoption-is-love-that-sees-beyond-differences


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## Poppets Mammy (Mar 7, 2011)

Interesting, thank you for sharing   xx


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