# Hello and advice needed...



## Minkey (May 22, 2004)

Hello,

I hope this is the right place to post this - I usually post on the IUI board, but this topic is not appropriate there.

My daughter is 20 months now and I really want to try for another baby, but due to the "stress" of it all and cost my lovely DH is not nearly so keen   .  Has anyone else been in this situation?  He says that our daughter is perfect, why would we want anything else, but I do, I can't help myself.

I feel bad for feeling like this having been so blessed already, but my desire for another child is getting worse and worse.

Would love to hear of anyone else in a similar situation.

Minkey x


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## mojojo (May 3, 2006)

Hi Minkey,

I can appreciate exactly how you feel.

My DH was the same and didn't want us to do tx again, and really had to pursuade him and eventually he said 'We can do it but I don't agree with it' which left me quite angry and upset. I said to him I couldn't do it if he didn't want to and I basically end up dragging him along behind me! When it actually came down to going through the trx he has been really good though and looked after me. I think it all comes down to him being scared of it not working/ another mc and he doesn't like seeing me ill or end up in hospt which I can understand. I did feel a bit bad that he was so unsure but he was like this before we had DS so I reminded him and myself that if I hadn't encouraged/ dragged him that time we would't have DS.

Try not to feel guilty about wanting another child. Just because we need tx doesn't mean we don't have natural instincts to want more children and its is certainly not a reflection on our children. Lots of Mummy's have more than one child and it doesn't mean they love their first children any less because they wanted more. The Dr also said to me once that its normal to want another child, not to feel guily and that you can't help how you feel.

I'm not sure I've explained this very well!

Take care, Jo x


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## Minkey (May 22, 2004)

Hi Jo,

You explained it very well, thank you.  I guess I am just going to have to patient with him and keep persuading.  We may not be so lucky to have another child, but I really want to know that we tried.

Thanks for listening,

Minkey x


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## OzChick (Oct 14, 2006)

Hi I am in the same position too. We have a gorgeous 16 month old daughter (thank you ivf) and I would LOVELOVELOVELOVE to have another baby. We are currently going though a FET (now on 2ww) and although my dh was sort of ok about trying again he is soooooo unsupportive through the process. He comes to none of the appointments (too busy with work), he never discusses it, and is actively negative about our chances of success. I put up with it as I am determined to do everything I can to have another child but it does make the process a very lonely one. Also we moved to Australia 4 months ago so am on my own here a long way from friends and family (all in UK) so I really would like dh to be a bit supportive. Honestly, reading this makes me feel FURIOUS with him. It's amazing how much one suppresses just to get a baby.

Sorry, this is a right old whinge. But it does help and I have no one to speak to about it here.


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## Minkey (May 22, 2004)

OzChick,

Sorry to hear that you are not getting the support you want from your DH  .  I know how you feel I guess, but I can't even get mine to agree to have any more treatment at the moment  .  I have decided just to leave it for the moment and perhaps broach the subject again in the new year.

But best of luck to you for a positive result - let me know  

Minkey x


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