# Challenges to help in moving on



## ks123 (Nov 27, 2005)

Hello

Anyone else set themselves some challenges to help them in moving on? DH is an uber-athlete and he has set me two challenges:

1. Cycle up the Ballon d'Alsace in France in July when we got to watch the Tour de France: Ballon d'Alsace is a 1247 metre high mountain at the border of Alsace, Lorraine, and Franche-Comté. From its top, views include the Vosges, the Rhine valley, and the Black Forest.  

2. Hike up Half Dome in Yosemite, California in September when we visit my best friend - the hike is approximately 17 miles round trip. The hike to Half Dome can take anywhere from 10-12 hours. The elevation will increase by 4,800', from Yosemite's Valley Floor.

Its helping me to start thinking about getting fit again and losing all the weight I've piled on during the IVF cycle. 

Anyone else got any good challenges lined up?

Regards
Katherine


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## Bangle21 (Dec 17, 2004)

Hi Katherine,

Thanks for the very inspirational posting... puts me to shame really!!  Those are some fabby challenges!!

I suppose I should start with getting dressed in the morning!!!    Hee-hee!

Love Gill xo


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## ks123 (Nov 27, 2005)

Hi Gill

My first goal is to stop crying, then I can move onto DH's challenges.  

Katherine


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## Bangle21 (Dec 17, 2004)

Oh I'm so sorry Katherine,

I know how it feels.  All I would say is give yourself the time to let the tears out.  Only then, can you begin to think about picking yourself back up again.

Just give yourself as much time as you need huni.

Good luck
xo


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## Tibevora (Mar 22, 2005)

Katherine

I like those challenges and I suspect the focus on them helps the tears to be a little less often. My first challenge after our second BFN was to lose the weight I had put on and get fit again. I have lost the weight and back to my pre tx jeans!! It does make you feel good and I try and look at my tummy everyday and remind myself it is stretch mark free (you have to focis on something). The seconnd is to go skiing which we are off to do in two weeks time, we had a day in Glenshee, Scotland yesterday and there was snow everywhere and the third thing is to run a 10K. I am a very driven person and this helps me to get some control back in my life. It also keeps me happy until we decide what we want to do next.

You go for it girl!
Tibevora


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Hi Katherine, Gill and Tibevora

Katherine i think your post is great and very inspirational. I am so sorry that you are crying alot, but please do not try and stop them its your bodies way of getting it out of your system. This is quite a traumatic experience to go through and it makes us go through emotions that are so deep i didn't think could be possible. So Katherine be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to grieve, because i believe its one big grieving process....and its a long road but we eventually get some peace somewhere along the line. Allow yourself to face them because even though its painful you will find that part of you and your life will come back to you...
Well challenges i think we do them when we were are in the right frame of mind....but i also think we need to start focusing on these things or we will crack up...
I am going to Vietnam in November raising money for the local hospice...i will be trekking for 6 days...well all i can say is i started practicising and went to the Lake District and it was hard work...but i feel exhilarated now and i am on a real roll. I never thought that i would enjoy walking and i felt free....So sometimes taking on new challenges feels in those empty gaps and we just do not have time to think about the inevitable...Life starts to become enjoyable again.
I am also doing two courses through work and i am enjoying those...well until it comes to the assignments...
I think its good to plan a few trips away or holidays because that also takes your mind of things...
So does a nice bottle of wine....or going to the cinema....
Thanks for starting this topic...
Love astridxxxx
p.s Welcome Katherine and Tibevora and thanks for your input.xxx


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## ks123 (Nov 27, 2005)

Hi Gill, Tibevora and Astrid

Thanks for your kind words and wonderful challenges. Astrid: I would love to go trekking in Vietnam and think you're doing a great thing. Tibevora: Skiing sounds wonderful, and you're right it is good to get some control back over our lives.

I've finally stoped crying. On Monday I booked appointments with the Homeopath, Osteopath and Counsellor to get my body and mind back into shape. 

Tonight I'm back on the gym bicycle with my cycling plan all set out for getting me in shape by July. And I booked a short break to Italy for DH & I to celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary at the end of April. 

All good things to concentrate on and give me 'projects' to focus on. I'll also be going to the counsellor to deal with my grief on not being able to have children. 

From a much more positive and moving-forward 
Katherine


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## Mamf (Jan 2, 2006)

Hi all, 

Oooh, this sounds so selfish in comparison to your positive fund raising challenges but I have spent the last weekend with some wonderfully childfree friends from London and had a lovely shallow time drinking cocktails and gossiping about mutual friends!

I've forgotten how nice it can be to hook back up with people who aren't interested in children in the slightest and have conversations about really banal things - the last year has been so dominated by our i-f that we've really lost track at how much fun life can be in general. I'm still scared by other i-f related factors, such as an imminent christening, but I'm now seeing these as things to fight & deal with whereas a year ago I would have hid and made excuses not to go out and see people as I felt such a failure. 

This weekend has really helped to improve my mind and focus and has made me face up to the fact I have to lose weight, shape up (mentally & physically) and get back to the person I was before my diagnosis. I'm still fighting my moods and my health but this weekend is the first time for ages I can see that there is light at the end of the tunnel and I am slowly finding my way towards it. 

As for physical challenges - let me drop the biscuit and comfort eating weight I've gained   then I'll be up for something more physical (I think  ).

Love to you all, I think you are all completely fabulous and are such a burst of inspiration and positivity. Thank you. 

Sam
xxxx


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## ks123 (Nov 27, 2005)

Hi Sam

You've just inspired me to make contact with my girlfriends in London and have a wonderfully shallow afternoon & evening of eating, drinking and talking - well shouting is more like it when the 7 of us get together, because we all talk at the same time and very loudly to make sure we're heard!     

I've also been avoiding friends due to feeling a failure and not being able to talk without crying, so a great big thank you for the inspiration to get back out there.

Katherine


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## Charlies-Mum (May 25, 2005)

I've been avoiding people because I feel like such a failure too. Unfortunately I am the only one out of all my friends who does not have children. I feel like IF has taken over my life both physical and emotional, and at the moment its hard to find a way to move forward without feeling like I am an "old spinster".

I'm really inspired (to open another choccy bar )  by your challenges - Wish I had half the stamina to try something similar.

Good Luck!


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Hi Girls
I agree with you all there is nothing like 'being your old self' even though at times its hard to find it.....
I love being with my friends and last week i nursed a couple of hangovers...great didn't think i could do it anymore... 
Do you know what i love more than anything and that is to go out and have a good night...I can refuse or enjoy a drink without thinking 'shall I' or 'shall i not'  
Its good to beable to laugh and think hey this is the old me...instead of that miserable crap feeling....
I feel that IF stole a good part of my life and i am now getting it back....it does make a difference filling in the gaps with different activities etc......
Hey we are all trying to get some happiness back which is a process but its good to start living and taking each day as it comes...
love astridxx


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