# Pregnancy and Parenting After Infertility - Donor Recipients - Part 24



## Mistletoe (Holly)

New Home - Happy Chatting....

Make this a lucky thread for all of us! 

Bump list!

[csv=]
Name, EDD, Flavour

juju81, 12/4/14,  
hakunamatata, 11/6/14,   
abcdefgh, 23/6/14,  
shelleysugar, 1/7/14
carrie lou, 29/8/14
[/csv]

"Baby" list!

[csv=]
Name, Baby, D.o.b.

abcdefgh, DD, 21/8/12
amandaloo, DS, July '11
carrie lou, Zachary, 26/5/11
emlore, DS, 10/10/13
hakunamatata, Addison, 10/2/12
juju81, Noah, 17/3/10
Lindz, DD and DS, December '10
Mighty mini, DS1, 5/7/10
, DS2, 4/4/12
Mistletoe (Holly), DS, June '11,
, DD, Jan '14
pinkcat, Joshua, July '10
, Emily (5lb 5oz), 19/3/14
, Megan (4lb 11oz), 19/3/14

[/csv]

Waiting for or having treatment:
amandaloo, trying for Baby No. 2 - IVF


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## ceci.bee

Thanks Holly it is great to have a new thread. 

Hakuna lovely to see you posting again and I am so pleased your scan was good news. Have you chatted to Claudine and Bluebottle about having twins with a toddler, both went through it, and BB using donor..................and her twins were just one a few weeks ago I think

Carrie how are you doing hun           

lots of love to all
Ceci


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## juju81

Gorgeous in here  

Holly, anyway we can have a list of whose where etc? Babies, bumps, having tx etc?

Ceci, not long now hun and you'll be back on the rollercoaster too


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## amandaloo

New thread yayyyy     let's have some lovely bfps


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




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## juju81

Amanda, when is OTD?  

Marge, how you getting on?


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## amandaloo

Juju - 30th nov    . I always get confused as nurse tells me if I don't have af in 14 days test which makes me think its 14 days including the day of iui . But anyway the 30th is 14 dpiui so suppose I'm doing it day after they are telling me too . Trying to stay positive   this time !


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## juju81

11 days time


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## shelleysugar

Hello all, I hope this thread is lucky for us all    Xxx


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## margesimpson

trying not to get too depressed or too hopeful and trying not to go too crazy in the meantime!  Spent most of last night trawling through my old posts trying to work out what symptoms, if any I had on previous cycles that worked/didn't work!  I suppose this time next week, we'll know. I might take some piecing back together if it's a bfn


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## carrie lou

Marge   When is OTD? I know what you mean, I also trawled my old posts on my 2ww but it just makes you go even more   


Shelley hi my lovely, how are you doing?  


Amanda   


AFM, I saw a new counsellor on Monday, she was very nice and I'm going to see her once a week from now and see how we get on.


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## margesimpson

OTD is 27th November, 16 days after iui! Ha ha ha, as if I'll wait that long! I'm also at work on the actual OTD so will test the day before so I can fall apart in private.

Carrie - I'm really pleased you've found a counsellor you like. I hope it helps. Course she'll never be as insightful or wise as us laymen!?   

Reading through my old posts, I also came across some old posts from familiar names on here and it really stuck me how far we've come. I know it's been said before, but even when we're almost ready to scream because somebody's decided they don't need to wear a coat in November (!) and another wants to wear her old shoes that don't fit any more, it's taking three times longer to get out the house than it should do despite not having a minute to pee all morning and you've just got a whiff of a dirty nappy on the child you've JUST changed.....(I mean it, she waits until her nappy's changed)....we love and treasure our children in a way we never thought possible. And perhaps it's the battle to get to have a family that makes us constantly aware of how precious it is?

Course it doesn't stop you wondering why they have to poo in a fresh nappy!?


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Or fight and scream Every time you put them In the car


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## ceci.bee

thought you guys might enjoy this, made me really laugh and Joshi is easy to get out of the house!






lots of love
Ceci


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## carrie lou

Ceci, I've seen that video - absolutely love it   


Marge, ohhhhh I hear you - we have the same struggle over the coat   And this morning a major meltdown because I wouldn't let him tip the entire jar of syrup into his porridge  But you're right I think we have an extra appreciation for how precious our children are, because of what we've been through to get this far


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## juju81

Or when they come in as soon as they've woken up stropping or a book that's at the toddler group


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Juju - I am a bit busy at the moment - 3 more days next week left at work, 100 million loose ends to tie and handover to write and a conference on Friday, then on mat leave. My Dad has been much worse with his dementia too so I have not done as much modding lately. When I am off perhaps I might have a bit more time.


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## juju81

Enjoy your last 3 shifts at work   I've got 39 working days left haha

Ah it's ok tho, you should have just told me to sod off


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

when do u go on mat leave ju?


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## carrie lou

Holly, would you like me to help? I'm only modding two threads at the moment and by the sound of it, I have a bit more free time right now than you do? Let me know, I'll be happy to help


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Carrie - I'll pm you.


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## juju81

14th March is my last working day minx! I only work 3 days a week tho haha!  39 Woking days sounds far less then 4 months!


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Had a growth scan today. Baby perfectly coming along. Estimated weight 4lbs 9oz so will be about 7.5lbs in 6 weeks time, about the same as C.
Placenta has moved up but baby a very definite footling breech. Got a lovely picture of her face.

After my scare on Monday where baby was very quiet for 36 hours and I had to go to maternal assessment at work for ctg. Baby woke up! Of course!


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## shelleysugar

Holly - well done on a perfect scan - sorry the baby is currently breech but it's worth it to get a portrait shot!!!

Juju - I can't believe your talking in 'days' - I'm amazed at how fast time flies - March will be here before we know it.

Carrie - thanks for asking after me.  I'm alot better today after our scan   I hope you're doing okay.

Marge - good luck with OTD.

AFM: I had my first early scan at the clinic today.  We saw one wonderful baby, with a flickering heart beat and s/he even did a little wriggle for us!!  It is measuring exactly on target.  This is such a relief.  I phoned my mum and dad and cried tears of joy!!  I was soooooo anxious beforehand and then ended up with a headache!  We have another scan booked for 10 weeks for reassurance and then it is the countdown to 12 weeks....


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## carrie lou

Shelley, that is wonderful news lovely, I'm so pleased for you. How far along are you now? Hope our toddler talk hasn't put you off too much    


Holly, so pleased everything is ok with your little one too, and she sounds like a good weight.  


Amanda and Marge


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Shelley - congratulations  - must be so stressful for you. We will be keeping everything crossed for you that it is your turn!


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## amandaloo

Hi Shelly - lovely news 









Holly- glad to hear everything's ok  

Afm - I don't think it's worked again I'm trying to stay positive but I'm starting to feel af pains they are like a dull ache never really goes . Always happens week before af until it arrives . I don't know what to think . I know it's not over until af arrives or not but all signs are starting to show . Anyway will try and stay as positive as possible


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## juju81

Shelley, fab news hun.  This is definitely your time.  Have as many scans as you need.  I've already had 5! 6th and final one on Monday!!

Amanda    chin up chick.  How many days post IUI are you? Problem is af and BFP symptoms are the same.  You just don't know until you POaS  

I'm getting ready to go off to physio for my pelvis.  I look a friggin state in my leggings and tshirt.  I'm not the slightest of woman so look bloody awful but hey, hopefully we all look the same


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## amandaloo

Juju I'm 7 dpiui today had it last Friday . I know your right its just seems same pattern every month so it's hard not to think it . Will keep trying to focus . Hope physio went ok ?


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## margesimpson

Juju - sounds a lovely outfit to me! Did the physio help at all?

Amanda - juju's right. You can never tell for sure till OTD.  Lost a post last night saying how pessimistic I think I am too. Problem is, I can't think about the future at all, because deep down there must be some hope and then terrifies me! PUPO is a time of potential, but it is torturous isn't it? Hold it together for another few days and you'll be able to test. (I think some people can get a positive from 10 days - girls?  

Mx


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## abcdefgh

Amanda - In my experience there is really no way of knowing until AF turns up or doesn't. Keeping everything crossed for you    

Juju - Hope the physio was helpful.

Mistletoe - Glad you had a great scan - exciting. I hope you are feeling more relaxed now you have finished work. 

Shelley - Fantastic news! I remember the exact same anxiety and immense relief with my first scan last time round. Not too long to wait until you see your baby again as well  

Marge -   

AFM - Have had a horrible week of nowhere near enough sleep as DD has had a cold and been really unsettled at night   . She seems a lot better now though. I was also worried that my symptoms were disappearing but I have felt sick most of the day today   . I have my booking appointment on Tuesday and will get my 12 week scan date then - getting so impatient!


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## abcdefgh

Marge - First response should be sensitive enough to use a few days before AF is due, I can't remember how many days they claim...


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## margesimpson

Shelley - great news! It's a surreal moment to see the scan isn't it?

Holly - great news for you too!  What a little monkey she is, getting you all worried!   glad everything looks tickity boo!

Juju - that's definitely counting the days, but you know the months will fly past. Have you all DS's photos sorted/printed, cos there's no time when number two comes along! Out computer just steadily fills up and no money to feta bigger one after two treatment cycles! 

Carrie/Cece/mini -   we're almost driven loopy in our attempts to have them and then the crazy times really begin! Best times of my life, without a doubt!  

Afm - one weekend to go and I'll be testing mon/tues before OTD on Wednesday!     If only we could make it work by sheer force of will eh?

Mx


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## margesimpson

Abcdefg - thank! First response it is then! I don't even want to buy one yet as it might tempt fate/ be a total waste of money by Monday morning!  

It's so bizarre being pregnant, you actually feel 'better' when you feel like sh&$!


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## amandaloo

Margies- omg not long off for you now at all best of luck    I hear first response is good . Think clearblue digital can tell few days before too . Thanks for advice  . It's hard not knowing isn't it .  

Abcde- oh no I hate them type of weeks it's so hard when they are unwell   big hugs   hope time passes quickly for your scan xxx thanks too For your advice  

Hope rest of you ladies are well x


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## abcdefgh

I got a very strong positive on FR in the afternoon of 14dpiui. I had been so scared to test, though. I hate those last few days of the 2ww - really feel for you both. x


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## juju81

Amanda and Marge  . I tested positive 11dpdiui  

Abcd, I had that with Noah last wk and over the wknd.  Totally knackering!

Holly, fab news on scan.  What date are you having her?

Physio was totes knackering.  It's a 4weekly course so back next Friday.  I'm shattered.  It was like 3half hr Pilates classes together.  1.5hrs   I can feel my legs starting to ache already! I think it will help, got loads of different stretches to do on the floor and using gym ball and it should help my lower back pain I get every now and then too!  My outfit was a delight and although leggings are really comfy, I just don't have the figure for them  .  Scan Monday


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## margesimpson

Juju - Wow 11dpdiui? That makes me really tempted to test tomorrow! Wish I had a POas in the house now, but I'm so superstitious I haven't even bough one!   Problem is, I'm still taking progesterone support pessaries, so might they affect the result anyway. I don't think I could cope with a false positive! That would just be too cruel! 

I look hideous in leggings, so favour the yoga pants!


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## margesimpson

Woke up this morning and almost ran out to getaway first response, before anyone else was up!   but sanity and sleepiness prevailed, and I resisted. I took 50mcg ovitrelle 6dpo so testing today, 13dpo might still be affected by this? I've tried doing the sums based on others knowledge and even if I can avoid AF for another couple of days, I could test I think? 

Amanda - this is tough isn't it? How are you holding up? 

How's everyone this frosty weekend? Any nice plans?

Juju - have you recovered from your Physio?


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## juju81

Marge I was on cyclogest up til 12wks.  I wasn't expecting a BFP when I tested but as I think you all know by now, I'm so impatient! I'd planned to do a test a day until OTd  

Physio was hard work and I am really aching from it! An in Liverpool at the mo lapping it up in Malmaison luxury so when I'm home later I'll do some more of the exercises.  Anomaly scan tomorrow, eeek!


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## carrie lou

Marge, I got a definite positive on day 13 with Zac on a first response but then I hadn't had the trigger. Why did you have it so late in your cycle? Not long for you now  

Juju, sorry you found the physio so tiring but hopefully it will help  good luck for your scan.

Amanda, how are you holding up?  

Abcd, sorry to hear DD has been ill  

Well ladies I'm a moderator on this board now  Stepping in to help Holly out. I remember Juju mentioned having a list on the front page so we can see what everyone is up to; do people think this is a good idea? If there is enough support for it, I will set it up, so let me know


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Marge - you need to wait at least 10 days after trigger shot for result. Some say 14. Depends on dose and how you clear it.

Carrie, it is sometimes used to aid implantation later in cycle.


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## carrie lou

Oh I see   I hadn't heard of that before.


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## amandaloo

Hi ladies

Juju- good luck with your scan   be nice for you to see her again 

Carrie - where are you up too now ?

MargieS- hmmm not holding up that well really . Are you testing early ? Hope you have fantastic news soon . I'm trying to stay positive !! 

Ceci- when are you coming back to England  ?

Hi to everyone hope your all ok xx


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## northernmonkey

Evening,


Just popping on to say good luck to Marge and Amanda, how are you both feeling??     


Hi to everyone else, sorry for no more personals but I'm knackered so off to bed. DH and I have decided life isn't manic enough and have put our house up for sale so I'm wiped out from trying to keep it in a viewable state. No easy task with 3 kids.... Pity it doesn't always look as presentable as it does right now


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## margesimpson

NM - thanks, I really appreciate that. You are quite an inspiration, using donor and still going for a third child to complete your family - I wondered for a while if it was just me and was i mad to put myself through it again! Good luck with the house selling. Tough to keep the house tidy in the winter. It's not like you can get them playing outside that much! Brrrr!

Amanda - one day at a time!   Evey day without AF is a good day!    

AFM I don't think I can resist any more. I've been cramping on and off today! I've bought a PT and if no AF tomorrow it's POas first thing!    

Carrie - I've had a HSG injection after every diui I think. It's only a small fraction of the HSG trigger but the clinic seem to think it'd help implantation with me. I think I had quite a short luteal phase naturally.

Holly - thanks for the info, but I think I am losing the plot now. If I test tomorrow after 50mcg of ovitrelle on the 17th is the result basically meaningless? Or will it at least tell me if its a negative?


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## amandaloo

MargieS- omg good luck ill be looking on here first thing !


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## margesimpson

Amanda - oh please do come on, either way I'm going to be a needy mess and will wed some wise words!


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## amandaloo

MargieS - are you doing the right thing I'm not an expert but if you have had trigger shot you are supposed to leave it for 10 days to get out if your system ? Or does it depend on dosage you have ? I know when I had ivf I didn't test until I read it would be out of my system .. Is it worth the what ifs ?


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## carrie lou

Good luck Marge   If it was only a small dose of HCG perhaps it will be out of your system by now or at least low enough that it can't give a false positive? Good luck anyway


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## margesimpson

Hi all, I know, I know!   but I just couldn't resist and had convinced myself that the HSG would be out my system. Tested first thing with a boots own and it's a faint bfp! I know it doesn't really mean much as could be false positive , but couldn't sleep last night for analysing every twinge!


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## amandaloo

Marge-    yay really hope that it is a BFP   how are you feeling ?


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## margesimpson

Thanks Amanda, still feel like AF on is way. don't know whether I regret testing early or not, but my mind is of course racing. I still need to take one day at a time. So will test again tomorrow and then blood test on Wednesday. Mx


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## amandaloo

Marge - I hear feeling like af is in its way is popular with ppl that have got bfp's  anyway    . Really hope and   that you get continuous BFP' s now


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## carrie lou

Ooh Marge   Sounds promising! Yes I felt like AF was on its way just before my BFP with Zac, so that could be a good sign. Lots of luck for your blood test


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I felt af was coming with both mine. Especially ds2 which is why I didn't bother testing until I was 9 days late   when was unseminstion?


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## abcdefgh

Oh Marge, I really hope that's a BFP! I've never had a trigger shot - what a frustrating complication. I guess you can't do much other than wait until tomorrow and see if the line is darker. Got everything crossed for you


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## juju81

Oooooh Marge is that a tentative congratulations? Hope so hun x

Amanda, totally feel for you. That 2ww is just awful and just messes you up no end.  Big hugs hun  

Abcd, how r u doing hun?

How's everyone else doing?!

Had my 20wk  scan, everything fine. Placenta is anterior but high and apparently they can actually move posterior.  Not that a high anterior placenta causes any issues.  Confirmed definitely a she   very exciting. Won't get to 'see' her again now until she's born   20wks and counting   once Christmas is out the way, it will fly by x


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## shelleysugar

Juju - I'm pleased the 20 week scan went well.  It must have been lovely to see your LO again - best of luck for the coming weeks.

Marge - I echo others in giving a tentative congrats - I hope it continues to be a BFP for you. 

Shelleysugar xxx


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

50mcg is 1/5 the normal dose of a trigger shot which is 250mcg. So I would say a faint BFP is promising.


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## margesimpson

Thanks so much everyone for all the words of encouragement. What would I do without you?

Juju - thats great news, the 20wk scan is amazing. You get to see so much, and even though it doesn't look like much it's reassuring to hear about.


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## juju81

We're the best  

Yeah it's nice, just nice to know she's ok.  At my cousins 20wk scan is when they picked up she suffered from Pulmonary Atresia so it's always a worry  .  She's lying diagonally at the mo, head up, feet down below.  Obviously loads of time to flip over but I did say to Nick "she needn't think he's getting comfy in that position"


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## juju81

When is OTD?


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## amandaloo

MargeS- sounds really promising can't wait to read tomorrows news best of luck    

Juju - fab news about your scan  .. and thanks  

N monkey thank you


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## amandaloo

Marge -


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## margesimpson

Morning folks,

Well OTD isn't till tomorrow, but there's a cross on the test today!  
Still cramping but Teresa tells me I was like this with DD too, so it could be a good sign?

Amanda - how are you doing?

Nervous hugs,

Mx


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## hakunamatata

Marg that sounds really positive to me, can't wait to hear your hcg results tomorrow. 

Ju so pleased scan all good, the pictures were fab. 

Ours is 9th Dec being seen by twin unit. X 

Holly hope you're finding time to rest now you're off tho I'm sure youre spending more time with your dad too. You do amazingly well. X 

Amanda hang in there hun, this wait is awful. X 

Big hugs to all x


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## margesimpson

Hak - good to hear from you and I hope you're right! You must be counting the days till the 9th. How are you feeling now?

By the way - I think they just tell be bfp or bfn from the blood test. Is the HCG to check how strong a pregnancy or to point to twins? The drug I use makes it very hard to conceive twins apparently. (letrozole)


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## amandaloo

MargieS- that's great news good luck for tomorrow's beta It all sounds very very positive though . I don't think it's worked if I'm honest I've just not wanted to write on here and bring positivity down . I've had af pains all day continuously since 7dpiui and they are getting worse . This happens every negative cycle so I have no positive thoughts about it at all


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## northernmonkey

Marge - wow, great news! Try not to worry about the cramping, I was the same with my BFPs. I remember going to bed in the afternoon that I got bfp#3 because of cramps and obviously it was nothing untoward.  Your comment about me being an inspiration made me giggle - if you saw me in real life the word you would use to describe me would be deterrent    I walk around in a total daze most of the time not knowing what day it is and just trying to survive until bedtime!! But of course I wouldn't change a thing. Well no that's a lie, if I could afford it I'd have a cook and a cleaner.  And I'd be 5 years younger so I could try for #4.    Anyway, congratulations again, fab news.


Amanda - sorry to hear you don't think it's worked for you this month.  I know you're familiar with your own body but it's not over yet so I'll still keep everything crossed for you.  Are you on cyclogest?


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## carrie lou

Amanda   Hang in there lovely   


Marge, I think the reason they do a blood test is so they can do a repeat about 2 days later and compare, hopefully you should see the level going up nicely. Good luck, sounding very good    


Hakuna, how are you feeling now?  


Juju, great news on your scan   


AFM, AF arrived this morning - 23 day cycle!  What is going on? So I'm booked in for a scan on Friday and have another go at FET. I'm suddenly feeling really scared, silly really since the one thing I want more than anything is to be pregnant again


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## juju81

Wowzers Marge, what a fab track record     congratulations lovey   


Hak, you mentioned to me before you only produced one follie, are they identical?


Carrie, it's just so stressful.  We put everything in to have tx, physically and emotionally and everything rides on that one tx.  Gt everything crossed for you hun    


Amanda, when is otd? Sorry, I'm sure I've asked 100 times before.    


What's everyone got the kiddies for Christmas?  Noah's got a bike, tidmouth sheds for his Thomas track, a couple of new trains, arts and crafts stuff and a stereo ha ah


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## northernmonkey

Carrie - totally understandable that you're scared. Juju summed it up perfectly. You'll be fine - a fab Christmas pressie is just round the corner.  

Juju - lots of disney princess stuff for dd#2 and a Furby and loads of other stuff that I've forgotten for dd#1! Baby not getting much cos we don't need any more plastic crap in the house! Going to put some cash in her savings account instead. She can play with all the empty boxes!


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## carrie lou

Thanks juju and NM   


For Christmas Zac is getting a small trampoline   I've also made him a couple of presents - a cloth quiet book, and an aeroplane themed play mat. He will get a small plane every day in his advent calendar and then the play mat on Christmas Day   I also want to get him a couple of books - he has never read the Gruffalo and I think he'd really love it.


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## juju81

Ohhh yeah Noah went though a stage of loving the gruffalo   mat and plane idea is lovely x

NM, haha 3rd child syndrome   my sister always complains of not ever getting anything   plastic crap does my nut in.  Noah likes the magazines that always come with crap.  Every few wks I have to go around collecting them all up and binning them   magazines are quite educational though and enabled us to have a lovely meal at Prezzo the other week haha


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## northernmonkey

Juju - I refuse to buy the magazines anymore after chucking too many out that had been discarded once the plastic crap had been torn off, played with for 5 minutes then left on the floor for me to stand on.   
I didn't realise you were one of 3. Have heard you talk of your sister but thought you just had the one. Oh and great news on your scan - what's your due date again?


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## juju81

I kept all the mags and just the last couple of months he's actually wanted to do them!  Yep, I'm the middle one! There's 3 years between me and my older sister (who has 2 girls) and 16months between me and my younger sister who is currently living in Australia  

Due date is 12/4.  My birthday is the 9th   hopefully she'll arrive before so I can enjoy a takeaway lol


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I refuse to buy the mags too  

Marge tentative congrats   Looks really positive. 

Amanda chin up hun


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## hakunamatata

Amanda I'm so sorry you're feeling it hasn't worked, I'm not surprised you're loosing heart after all you've been through. I'm still keeping everything crossed for you x


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## margesimpson

Amanda -  ^ hugme ^  How did it feel when you got your bfp the last time? I did a bit of stalking and you do mention AF and back pain in the 2ww in your diary. There's no sure fire way of knowing until OTD and our minds and bodies can play tricks on us with very similar symptoms. I really hope you manage do dodge that AF witch this month!    

Juju - d'you mean enjoy a takeaway without the heartburn? Have you got it bad? BTW - what was it like being one of three? 

Carrie - we love the gruffalo and almost anything by Julia Donaldson! The DVD is quite a life saver too! (Although it'll prob be in at Christmas and you can record it?) It suddenly felt very real and very scary once we had started each cycle, everything at stake and very thing possible. Before it was more hypothetical. I really hope this is the one for you! 

thanks Mini - still too superstitious to believe it till the clinic tells me though! 
I saw 6 magpies today - what the h$ll does that mean?

We were going to roll up a magazine in each of their stockings - are there any good ones? Any recommendations? Plastic crap not mandatory but coloring or stickers probably is!  

NM - are you one of three too? We ended up with a cleaner when I was pregnant and sick, but she was quite hard work!   She did a great job but I had to tidy up before she came so she could spend the time actually cleaning. It was stressing me out!  

Hugs, Mx


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## abcdefgh

Marge - Great news   . I'm sure it will be official tomorrow. 

Amanda -  

Juju - Congrats on a great scan. 

Carrie - I had shorter cycles for a couple of months when my periods returned after having DD (well, after I stopped breastfeeding her 8 months later) so maybe the same after a m/c. I wonder if it's related to the whole being more fertile after a pregnancy or m/c theory. It's normal to be anxious but wishing you the best of luck and will be keeping everything crossed for you.  

Hakuna - Hope you are feeling well x


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## amandaloo

Thanks everyone your all great  

MargeS- last time I had BFP was ivf and was on progesterone . I do remember af pain but nothing like having it continuously like I'm having now .  . Best of luck for tomorrow . 

Carrie - great news so glad to hear your starting again  . Your bound to feel like that too   hope the counselling had been helping too  

Juju- otd 30th my af pains are stronger tonight if the witch does come I'd be expecting it sooner than 30th 

I love  the stick man its my favourite  then the gruffalo and room on the broom !  

 We will all get there in the end


----------



## Fizzypop

Lots of plastic crap here!! And a wooden balance bike. I cheated with the stocking and got tooth rush and bubble bath  

Marge - so chuffed for you. 

Amanda - will still keep everything crossed xxx

Carrie - love that idea, v creative. 

Really must get my cycle sorted out. Burying head at the moment xxx


----------



## margesimpson

Fizzy - Thanks, great ideas for the stocking! We're away so thinking practical as possible! What are your plans for your cycle? 

BTW Carrie, how did you make the playmat? I've made my nieces and nephews a pressie each, so always keen for more ideas!


----------



## carrie lou

Marge, I made him this car mat for his birthday in May:
http://www.theiowafarmerswife.com/2011/01/felt-car-mat.html
But adapted it with places local to us  It is made entirely from felt and glued together. He absolutely loves it but some of the bits have started to come off. It was such a success I decided to continue the theme and make an aeroplane mat (he has been showing a lot of interest in "eddo-planes" recently  ). This one has airport, three departure gates, runway, control tower and helipad, as well as airport parking! It's also felt but I have stitched everything on so it can't fall off.

Fizzy, good luck for when you get started   

Amanda, yeah Room on the Broom is great too  It was on TV last Christmas, did you see it?

Abcd, that's interesting that your cycles were shorter too. After BFing mine went immediately back to 28 days like clockwork, in fact they were much more regular than pre-pregnancy. Even after my mc my first period came 29 days later! I've never had such a short cycle as this one  But I'm not complaining.

Ohhh those magazines  I don't buy them for him but DH is a soft touch and often caves in! Mind you the ones with stickers are ok and keep him occupied for a bit 

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## northernmonkey

That's really cool Carrie, you could make those and sell them. 

Marge - yes I'm one of 3. I'm the youngest - my sister is 4 years older than me and my brother a year older than her.  My mum had really bad pregnancies with pre-eclampsia and was advised to stop at 2 children but luckily for me she managed one more! 

I'm so excited,  I'm off with dd#1 with her school tomorrow to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! Can't wait - my first day off from the baby in almost a year! Mind you I'll be spending it with 70 other kids but still, a bit of a rest! Oompa, loompa, dumpity doo....


----------



## juju81

Magazines are ok, they really help with his counting and writing   it's just the plastic crap that comes with it, I end up stamping on it by accident then of course it's just broken within 1min!

Marge, I was closer to my younger sister when growing up.  Felt like I didn't really know my older sister until we moved out and now we couldn't all be any closer   love them both loads!  Meant I can enjoy a takeaway as in can eat loads of it   can't manage much towards the end can you  . Heartburn has just started. Nick won't and bought 10pints of milk yesterday and when I see midwife next ill get a prescription for gaviscon!

Amanda   

Fizzy, are u starting in the new year?

Carrie, when is FET likely to be?

Need to get ready really!!


----------



## amandaloo

Marge-


----------



## juju81

Amanda, 12days post.  R u tempted to test? I saw in your diary you were tired, could be  a sign


----------



## amandaloo

Juju -  no not testing early not tempted at all . I think after seeing so many negatives I'd rather actually start af than see another one on a pee stick   . Anyway on a more positive note I'm trying to think more positive today ! Yes was tired last night tired again today I'm on long stretch at work though worked weekend off mon then in rest of this week uhhh roll on weekend !


----------



## abcdefgh

Marge - Been thinking of you today. Hope you have had good news   

Amanda - How are you feeling this evening? x


----------



## margesimpson

Well it's been quite a day! It's confirmed as a bfp! I am thrilled and stunned and already worrying!


----------



## abcdefgh

Woohoo!   I think my reactions to my BFP this time round were similar - kind of shocked and panicked as much as I was delighted. God knows how it feels to be having a third though


----------



## amandaloo

MargieS- fanbloomintastic


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

well done marge


----------



## hakunamatata

Congrats marg that's fab news.

I'm still here we've just all been unwell been having bad bigger with Addi for a while, back to tears and total fear. X 

Still praying for you Amanda x


----------



## ceci.bee

Yay marge that is wonderful news congratulations!

Hak             sorry you have all been poorly and you are having so much anxiety - is there a local twin group you can join to get support and advice? Maybe sweetdreams can help I know she has found a lot of twin support pre and post birth of her boys

Amanda


----------



## juju81

Congratulations Marge  

Pinkcat, have you had your scan yet?


----------



## northernmonkey

Marge - yay! Congratulations! Can't get my smileys to work but sending lots of happy, cheering icons to you : ) 


Amanda - how you feeling today?


Hak - so sorry to hear you're having a bad time.  It's totally understandable - the thought of going from one child to two is daunting enough never mind twins.  Someone once said to me that we're only sent things to deal with that we are strong enough to handle.  That helped me through tx and I'm sure you're much stronger than you give yourself credit for.  Yes it will be hard but not forever.  I do find it tough with 3 but I try to remind myself that this time next year it will be much easier - I think 18 months is a turning point so I'm counting down to then   I would try to channel your concern into planning a support system now.  Do you have friends/family who could even give an hour each a week to help out once the babies are born? Speak to them now - any help that you know is available on a regular basis will help you plan now so you feel a bit more in control.  Would you be able to afford some help even for a couple of hours a week?  Just a few people mucking in could add up to a couple of half days a week for you to devote to Addi/have to yourself/sleep whatever you need to do.  


Hi to everyone else!


x


----------



## juju81

Hak, I went and saw a friend yesterday who had twins in June, a month before her little girl was 2! Now, she did admit it was flipping hard work and she cried everyday for 6wks but then she fell into a routine.  Said she had too.  She also mentioned that a couple of her new twin mummy friends were getting free help from the local college pretty regularly.  Is this something you could look into? Free home help? She also pays (not possible for everyone) for her little girl to go to playschool 2 mornings a week just so that she gets some one to one time with the twins and her little girl gets to mix a bit.  Don't feel like your alone hun, there is loads of help out there and don't think that none of us wouldn't feel like this, I know I was petrified that they were going to tell me I was expecting twins and I'd have felt exactly the same as you.  Here's a big big cyber hug lovely   xxx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I think everyone cries for the first 6 wks


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Sorry I meant the first 6 years


----------



## juju81

16yrs!  

Amanda, how you doing? I just thought of you.  Hope that pesky AF hasn't shown  up.  Are you testing tomorrow?


----------



## amandaloo

Hi 

Thanks everyone for asking ...

Quick one as I've  only just sat down didn't finish work until 8pm . still no af , Felt exhausted today bit sick and tingly nipples . As always though I've had every symptom under sun on my 2 ww . I do feel bit more positive . I've had af pains still though. I daren't dream to much :-(


----------



## amandaloo

Pinkcat -    your bound to be nervous and worried . Hope the scan helps to reassure you  

Hak -    . Everything your feeling is natural its a massive thing that everybody would be worried about  . I have two friends with twins both I met on here I see them as they live nearby . And we had our children around the same time .Routine seemed to be key to them getting through the first few months . The one friend who set a strict routine found it easier than the other from what they both told me . Once they get a bit older they keep each other company . Don't forget they sleep a lot first few months during the day so you will have some time . There's lots of twin groups and stuff you can go too as well that may help . Have you family that can help you out?


----------



## juju81

No she didn't have PND just the sheer terror of having 3 under 2.  She says she struggles to get out too because her little girl refuses to walk or I on the buggy board!   

Amanda, you are so preg.  I'm sure of it.  My nipples was one of my early signs aswell as stretching pains when I sneezed!


----------



## amandaloo

Juju -   I'm most probably over analysing and I think my body plays tricks on me on this tww. It's a funny sensation though like a shooting pain at times going through it and def felt tingles too. My af pains that are just constant put me off thinking its worked . I've not read anywhere that someone gets BFP with constant af feeling its there the entire day . Oh well I'll soon know not testing tomorrow will do it sat x


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

I had AF pains in my first pregnancy, so much so that I thought AF was just around the corner.

My early symptoms in all three have started with severe pain in the lower abdomen when sneezing or moving suddenly. Cravings for marmite on toast! and sensitivity to smells.

I wrote a long reply about Christmas presents and now being off work on mat leave since yesterday and it seems to have disappeared.

Hak - it will be great hun. Hard work at first but you will get into a routine and I am sure you will get offers of help. Have you got a Home Start charity you could contact near you. Your midwife will help you. What is it that is frightening you the most - the twin pregnancy in itself or the thought of 3 little ones?


----------



## northernmonkey

Amanda - the boobs and exhaustion sound promising. I never get sore boobs with af but got the tingling with bfp. Do you 'feel' preggers? I just knew but to this day I can't describe how it felt. Just a very subtle thing which I thought I was imagining at first! And I veered between having no appetite and being ravenous - would be ravenous, start eating and lose appetite after a few mouthfuls. And burped lots! Can't wait for you to test! x


----------



## northernmonkey

Ju & Mistletoe - do you have names for baby yet?


----------



## carrie lou

Amanda   The main symptom in my last pregnancy was sore boobs, much more so than I ever get pre AF. And with both pregnancies I had that stretching pain when I sneezed, even before OTD. Wishing you so much luck   


Hakuna   You've had great advice from the other girls. Hang in there  


Pinkcat, good luck for your scan - lots of movement is reassuring even if you're not certain who it's coming from!  I'm sure they are both fine   


Marge - brilliant news    


AFM, baseline scan tomorrow for my FET


----------



## northernmonkey

Good luck Carrie.


----------



## amandaloo

Good luck Carrie    

Northernmonkey- I've convinced myself it hasn't worked the majority of this tww . There was a brief moment today when I felt exhausted and just off it made me wonder . I don't know I've had so many symptoms in all these 2ww I can't go off them anymore . As I just feel letdown that it leads to bfn . Think I have some kind of psychological symptoms . Only time will tell .


----------



## juju81

I had that tho, definitely the tingly boobs  why are you testing Saturday? Tomorrow is 14dpiuu?

NM, yep we have a name sorted   Noah is well excited.  Told Nick today he was goin to give his sister his spare cars blanket   and tells me he's going to be the best big brother <3


----------



## amandaloo

Juju- every time I test 14dpiui  I get a bfn and then af few hours later I thought I'd wait it out


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Manda I had constant af pains with both if mine. I didn't test until I was 9 days late with Samuel cos of the af pains.


----------



## amandaloo

I'm out af is here this morning    . Don't worry about me I'm fine just soldier on x


----------



## juju81

what's your next step? How much sperm do you have left?


----------



## carrie lou

Oh Amanda I'm so sorry darling   This journey can be so unfair. I really thought this was your time   Take care lovely


----------



## amandaloo

I've got loads of sperm left think 7 vials ! I was having two vials put in on the iui as well ! Next step ring for consultant appointment plan ivf won't be able to do anything until next year . I've had a little cry on way to work in the car . Think ivf is obviously what I need I'm a bit mad I've just spent 2 grand on iui but I wanted a chance not having the drugs so my fault . Maybe a second isn't what is intended for us ? One more ivf and if any frosties from that use them then that's it no more . 

Thanks everyone Your all so kind I always feel the one that's bringing this thread down with bad news grrrr ! Think a few ciders is on order for me tonight x


----------



## Fizzypop

Oh no Amanda, so sorry. I was convinced this was your time. 

Your not bring thread down hun, all here for you xxx

Ju - yep I'm planning on new year but need to work out timing re hols x


----------



## hakunamatata

I'm so sorry Amanda, youre so strong and i wish you didnt have to be. X


----------



## juju81

Amanda u don't bring this thread down at all.  We know how much this means to you   was N conceived through IVF? Sorry, I can't see your signature whilst responding


----------



## carrie lou

Amanda, you're not bringing the thread down - we've all been there at one time or another  That is what we're here for. IVF sounds like a good plan, it worked for you before and it will work again. New year, new baby


----------



## amandaloo

Thanks everyone

Juju - yes N conceived via ivf first go . I've always known how lucky I was but after lots of failed cycles it really does bring it home . I'm so happy to have N that the blow of negative cycles is a lot less . I'd be devastated if it was my first attempts at it . Really feel for all you ladies who went through hoops to have your first must have been awful x


----------



## abcdefgh

Sorry Amanda  . I don't think you bring the board down at all. In fact, I always admire how strong and positive you are. Sounds like you have a really good chance with IVF in the new year. This has been a tough year for you but I'm sure 2014 will be much brighter   xx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Sorry Amanda.  

If you had ivf with ds then I'm sure it will be fine. Get Xmas out the way then a fresh start.


----------



## abcdefgh

Carrie - Good luck with the scan


----------



## ceci.bee

Amanda hun gutted for your BFN hun, sounds like new year, new IVF is a good plan forward - so much of this is about a numbers game and if you got pg with ivf first time no reason you won't again


----------



## carrie lou

Jeez what a nightmare of a day  DH was on the phone to his boss as we were supposed to be leaving the house this morning, made us late, then we were rushing to get to the train station on time and I accidentally shut the car door on two of Zac's fingers   He was messing about and refusing to get in his car seat and the next thing I knew he was screaming ow,ow,ow - I felt so awful  We took him to A&E for an x-Ray, thank goodness it isn't broken, just badly bruised. But all of the above meant I was two hours late for my scan! I was so worried they wouldn't see me but fortunately they kindly squeezed me in. Scan was all fine so that's one positive thing. But then I arrived home at 7pm to find DH had let Zac fall asleep fully dressed and in a wet nappy   He also couldn't be bothered to cook the sausages I left out of the freezer, instead he ordered a takeaway, blooming men  As if this lark wasn't costing us enough already. 


Anyway. My little boy is all right and my scan was fine so I'm trying to cling on to those two things but oh boy, I'm not sorry to see the end of this day


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie - oh nooooo sounds like a nightmare   . Thank goodness your scan went well best of luck for this cycle xx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

flaming men


----------



## margesimpson

Amanda - I'm so sorry.     

Carrie -   for you and Zac too! Glad he's going to be ok and that the scan went ok, eventually. The car door is so easily done, because they're always messing about getting in and out it and it just happens in a split second. My friend caught her daughters two fingers and it makes me so paranoid now.


----------



## carrie lou

Believe me Marge I've learnt my lesson - no more messing about, straight in the car seat, no arguments! You're right though it all happened so quickly - doesn't make me feel any better though


----------



## margesimpson

Carrie - maybe with this bad luck you'll be due a bit of luck for this cycle?


----------



## hakunamatata

Oh what a day Carrie so glad it had a good end to it. Keeping everything crossed for thid cycle.


Still ill this end Hubby had to take half days leave for 2 hours and told in no uncertain terms this could not happen again, bodes well for the future. I haven't contacted any twin support yet thought I eould wait till 12 week scan which is 9th. I'm 12 weeks today. Poor Hubby has to leave for airport straught after scan so we are considering having it done private as don't want any surprises before he goes. but its bound to be about 140 for nuchal on twins or should I just leave it. x


----------



## juju81

Carrie, blimey hun, don't worry, you won't be the first or the last.  Noah prats about getting in and out of the car   like Marge says, maybe you will be hit with a load of good luck  

Hak, something is telling me its harder to get accurate results on a twin pregnancy at a nuchel scan? Maybe pinkcat can correct me if I'm wrong.  I think if it will make you feel happier, have it done private.  Congrats on making 12wks hun  

Amanda  

I'm 21 wks today and saw my belly move earlier from her kicking.  Wow, you forget how emotional it makes you feel


----------



## juju81

Pinkcat, I felt Noah at 16wks, but was about the same as now when I felt him on my tummy, with this one I felt popping about 12wks but again only today felt her and saw my tummy move.  My placentas anterior so wasn't expecting it yet or if at all  . I know you feel them earlier with subsequent pregs.  Can you differentiate between the 2? I can't remember now, are you finding out what they are?


----------



## carrie lou

Hakuna, they're making you wait a while for your 12 week scan aren't they?  If it would put your mind at rest it might be worth the money to have it done sooner privately. If not can you ask to be considered if a cancellation comes up?   

I think I remember reading about nuchal tests with twins, the reason it might not be as accurate is because your blood levels of hormones will be higher anyway because of having two babies. But if they have a way of taking this into consideration, it would be ok.   

Ju, great that you are seeing movement now   


Pinkcat, must be strange feeling two babies move   

Marge, I so hope you are right about my luck changing soon. I keep telling myself something good must be round the corner, surely, after failed IVF, miscarriage, cancelled cycle, and now almost missing my chance this month because of taking Zac to A&E! And I haven't even touched on DH's depression or possible redundancy!


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Amanda - how horrible. I am sure IVF in the new year when it is 2014 and not 13 will bring you luck.    

Juju - lovely seeing your belly move. I felt this one from 12 weeks. I felt C from 15.5 weeks with an anterior placenta.
Last night I was having a ''conversation'' with little girl. She was movings something up and down at the side of my waist in bed, probably her knee and I was gently pressing it and she was moving more.

Carrie - hope little one's fingers are OK and you get good luck this cycle. 

Hak - if your DH needs time off for dependents sickness or emergency breakdown of childcare arrangements (i.e. if you are too sick to look after Addi) there is sod all his employer can do about it as it is written into the law.
https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants/your-rights

/links


----------



## hakunamatata

Thanks holly that's interesting to know.

We did have our scan booked for tues but Unfort when i advised them it was twins they cancelled it and rebooked us first appointment at twin clinic. 

Pinkcat I didn't realise you didn't get the results straight away, I thought they gave you an idea straight away whether the measurement appeared normal. Midwife says triple bloid test I had with addu wasn't valid with twins. 

Been doing a bit of sorting today which is making me feel better mentally. Back in bed now tho as dine me in. Pray Addi naps today she had daddy up twice in night. We're planning a bedroom and move to big girl bed, will this help hmmmmm. Jury out. X 

Carrie you and Amanda Defo deserve some luck hun. 

Feeling excited I might feel some movement soon. I had anterior placenta with Addi and didn't feel till 20 weeks


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Ask Yaya about the downs screening of twins - she knows all about it. She had very high risk for both twins at the routine scan and went to see Prof Nicolides for detailed screening. One twin was severely affected by downs and was unlikely to survive. The little boy was chromosomally normal. She had a selective termination to give the whole pregnancy a better chance and she has a healthy little boy same age as C.


----------



## hakunamatata

Oh what an awful situation. X


----------



## carrie lou

Yes do get in touch with Yaya. She is on Holly's and my parenting club and is absolutely lovely, I'm sure she wouldn't mind chatting with you Hakuna


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

There is a girl who was having triplets with the same think and she had to have a selective reduction of one if them


----------



## carrie lou

Zac is still not using his sore fingers... It's his dominant hand too so he needs help with feeding etc. I'm wondering whether I should be concerned. It's 24 hours since it happened now. I am trying to encourage him to use it but he won't. He is having regular calpol.


----------



## juju81

Carrie, it's probably just bruised.  I'm sure he's ok, did they X-ray it?  It probably really hurts, I suppose you have to imagine it being your fingers, I'd be milking it for all its worth   give him some ibuprofen to take the swelling down


----------



## carrie lou

Yes they did an X-ray, they said they couldn't see any breaks but to bring him back if we were concerned over the weekend. He had some ibuprofen just before his nap. He is fine in himself, playing happily, just won't use that hand at all. I suppose if it is badly bruised maybe it will just take a bit longer to feel comfortable.


----------



## juju81

Oh definitely.  It will probably loosen up over the next couple of days.  Noah wore his wellies without socks the other week and ended up with a blister.  He refused to take his plaster off until the blister had scabbed and fallen off  

We're watching Elf.  Again


----------



## amandaloo

Juju- I love elf  so funny . We are watching ice age in our onesies   . Got a head cold today so not going anywhere  

Carrie - might take a day or two before he feels like using them . It will be hurting him when he bends them .  . When are you starting meds?


----------



## juju81

Onesies, love it   were now on to home Alone.  Flipping love it although it always makes me want to order pizza! We're off out for a curry tonight with friends.  Mum/dad have Noah overnight.  Nick went out last night and is hanging today, had to get up for work and popped home at lunchtime to say he could do without tonight   haha, I don't miss being hungover!!


----------



## carrie lou

Thanks girls, he told me his hand was "all better now" and he wanted to ride his bike - he's now trying to ride one handed   I suppose I will give it a few more days!


Amanda, I'm doing a natural cycle FET so all I take is the trigger shot when my follie is ready. Then cyclogest twice a day until 12 weeks    Hope you feel better soon


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie -


----------



## margesimpson

Amanda - a bit of tlc required! Hope you feel better soon. My mum makes an amazing concoction with I'm full of the cold - warm apple juice with ginger lemon honey and cinnamon. Blows your socks off but feels great!

Carrie - how's Z's fingers? It's amazing how they adapt. DS had trigger thumbs and couldn't straighten either for months before the operation, but he just seemed to adapt. Hardly anyone else even noticed unless they got sore. Z will hopefully be so busy playing that he'll soon forget and then they'll be getting better. If not, there's no harm in taking him to get them checked again, if there's no improvement in a couple of days.

Does anyone know much about HCG levels?


----------



## amandaloo

MargieS - sounds good that concoction . I felt terrible yesterday haven't been that bad in well over a year. Managed to get out today though . All I know is that they go up    ! Never had them done . Oh and If they seem high at first pos of twins? !


----------



## margesimpson

Amanda - try it, it's a bit of a faff to make but totally worth it! 
I only ask about HCG because mine was 629 so I'm just wondering what people thought? Apparently it's very unusual to have more than one follicle on letrozole btw.


----------



## carrie lou

Thanks girls, he's still not using his hand properly but hasn't needed any calpol since this morning and he's not complaining, so hopefully he's on the mend 

Marge, I never had any HCG levels done but know they can be very variable and are supposed to double every 48 hours so they are only really useful if you have two blood tests a couple of days apart to compare. There is this thread where people have posted their levels, you might find it useful:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=284094.0

Amanda, glad you are feeling better. Marge's concoction does sound rather lovely, I'm tempted to try it myself


----------



## amandaloo

MargieS- http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CA4QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.babymed.com%2Fhcg-level-in-early-pregnancy&ei=662bUur4BOag7AaM8YDIAw&usg=AFQjCNG_HBw-YpS5c1RTzDy-P6BsTvUiRg

There's a chart on there

/links


----------



## amandaloo

MargieS- yours are high must be a good sign eh xx


----------



## margesimpson

Amanda thanks, I hope so.  . Seems like its the rising that's important. I'm still having lots of cramps etc though - not sure what that means and grasping at straws to reassure myself.   How are you doing? Does the ivf plan 'feel' the right next move?


----------



## juju81

Marge, I hate to break it to you but Haks were in the 600 bracket   and she only had one follie!  . My clinic never tested mine.

Amanda, glad your feeling better hun x


----------



## amandaloo

Marge- well we are optimistic . I'm 40 next year and obviously was a lot younger when I had ivf before . Will only do one more ivf and if I had any frosties will obviously use them too then that's it . I need to prepare myself for it that the journey will end one way or another next year . It's hard but we have tried very hard And we need to set an end to it too . I will be as positive as I possibly can be though when I start it and it has worked before so We might be lucky again . What do you think of your hcg results now ?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Flipping eck marg!! Over 600!!!   anything over 50 is pregnant. It should double every 48hrs


----------



## hakunamatata

Hi marg Ju is right my reading this time was 669 with one follies on day 15 post insemination. It depends what day yours was. Addi was a good string result and was 218 on 15. But yes should double every 48 hours. x I had one follies this time and 3 implanted but one sac was empty. Where 3 eggs came from I'm not sure but... A friend reassured me tho that she knew someone with an 800 reading who had a strong singleton and my friend had twins with 176 so only a scan will really tell, when is yours booked for. X 

Still Lurgy here but succumed to paracetemol. My mum was ferries here to help as I still feel so ill. Managed to put tree up tho, Addi was so excited bless her. Outdoor lights up to, I love it x


----------



## amandaloo

Hi 

Made consultant appointment for 10th dec   not long to go !


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Marge - I've edited your post.
HCG is the hormone - Human chorionic gonadotrophin

HSG is Hysterosalpingogram - the tube patency test
Confusing I know.

There is a wide range of normal and you count the number of days from the LH surge to get an idea.

At 5weeks and 5 days pregnant when I had a bleed - so 4 weeks after LH surge/trigger would have been had it been a fresh cycle my level this time was 4200.
Don't have any other levels.

The advanced fertility chicago has a good chart - you need to know the number of days after LH surge though.

http://www.advancedfertility.com/earlypre.htm

/links


----------



## carrie lou

Amanda, that's not long at all Hun   Feels good to have a plan doesn't it.   


AFM, I have to start testing for ovulation tomorrow   to make sure we don't miss the boat again this month. Tomorrow is only day 8 but after last month's fiasco I guess anything is possible


----------



## margesimpson

Thanks folks - I had a funny feeling that it might fall into the twins figures but trying not to read too much into that. The mind just races through everything!

Holly -   thanks for keeping me right!

Carrie - wow, testing tomorrow, that seems like its come round quickly, but I suppose it feels like an age to you. Hopefully it'll go much smoother this time, at least you know you won't miss the surge this way!

Amanda - roll on the 10th then!   this is the one for you!

Mx


----------



## shelleysugar

Carrie Lou - good luck with this FET cycle - I hope it's a lucky one for you.  Are you testing morning and evening to catch the surge?  I hope it all goes well this time. xxx


----------



## carrie lou

Marge, ooh imagine if it's twins - you'd have FOUR children!    


Shelly, thanks honey   No I'm testing morning only. They said only to test once a day so I don't get muddled   It's only a fallback anyway as I have a scan on Thursday (day 10) so then we'll know for sure what's going on.


----------



## juju81

Was going to suggest the same as Shelley Carrie, I tested twice.  


Good luck Amanda, will you have any tx before Christmas or will it go into next year?


Shelley, when is your scan?


How you doing holly? All ready?


----------



## ceci.bee

Carrie hun              

marge fab news for the BFP and wow   that is a fabulous HCG - hoping the wait to the first scan isn't too long so you can find out what's going on in there  

Hakuna how are you feeling hun?        

Lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ceci you're back soon aren't you?


----------



## ceci.bee

you are totally right Mini - one way ticket booked from Malawi to London on 15th feb - will come around very soon I think! We have decided that we will start making plans to TTC when we get back, but not probably actually start until the summer when I have written the bulk of my PhD and we know how much ready cash we will have around for tx. I am very excited but also torn as I love our life here and I will miss all our friends, the sunshine, the mangoes and of course my fabulous and unbelieveably good childcare


----------



## juju81

Buttttttttt, you'll be coming home to have a baby


----------



## amandaloo

Ceci- must be difficult for you I'd be torn too  . Will you go back if you have another?

Juju- how are you? how's your back? I'm Not sure what will happen but my guess is that ill have to do lots of tests again then have a nurse consultation then start and clinic closes for deep clean over Xmas . I think it will happen in new year . I need to loose some weight first maybe half a stone . Not that I'm overweight or over bmi but unhappy with how I feel at mo .  

Carrie- good luck with the testing . What happens once you get a positive ov ?

MargieS - how are you feeling?

Hak- are you ok ? 

Hope you other ladies are ok ? Are you getting organised for Xmas?


----------



## juju81

Amanda, new year, new start, new you and a new baby   I'm doing ok now thanks.  Touch wood, my back has been pretty good going for a while ( apart from the odd niggle)  I think physio is helping that to be honest.  Am looking forward to Christmas.  The offices close so I have a nice break and were off to Dorset for new year.  So need the break right now. Then it will be all systems go with the nursery etc.  xxxx


----------



## shelleysugar

Juju - thanks for asking. As it happens I had a 10 week scan today and it was fantastic. The little bean was wriggling around doing somersaults and having a bit of a party in there. It was amazing to watch. The nurse said it looked perfect so it doesn't get better than that! We are now on the countdown to the 12 week NT scan. How is your bump going? And how's your back holding up?

Ceci - your one way ticket back to have a baby sounds so exciting, I hope the move back goes smoothly for you.

Carrie - I'm pleased I did 7am and 7pm in my natural iuis because otherwise I'd have missed my surge, however every clinic seems to give different advice. I'm pleased your having a day 10 scan to check up on things 

Amanda - good luck with the weight loss. It is particularly hard at this time of year. I hope it makes you feel better.

Hello to everyone else
Shelleysugar xxx


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## amandaloo

Shelley-great to hear your scan went well ))


----------



## margesimpson

Amanda - sounds like a good plan. Being as healthy as possible can only help treatment im sure, but you dont want to lose too much weight maybe? i think i read that carrying a few extra pounds can help with fertility? not sure why ive been hanging onto that extra stone though!  

Ceci - Malawi sounds so exciting and exotic AND great childcare? I'm tempted to go myself! Just think of the adventure you're coming back too though.   Hope the move home goes well!

Shelley - the scans are the best bit of being pregnant for me! Well done you - growing a perfect wee gymnast?

Carrie - when does the clinic time the iui after a surge? My clinic seemed to have rather weird timings, certainly within 18hrs of the trigger shot, but hey if it's worked I'm happy!   As for twins, I'd be pretty terrified of the morning sickness and four under five might be chaos, but there's still part if both of us would be delighted!    But...it's pretty unlikely I think. I think my high-ish numbers are reflected in how ill I am though!  

Juju - are you able to use the same room/bed etc? We had animal decorations, so worked for DS and DD.


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## carrie lou

Evening everyone  

Shelley, congratulations on your scan, must have been so lovely to see a healthy little wriggler  

Ceci, ooh Feb will be here before you know it!  

Marge, I'm not actually having IUI but FET. But when I conceived Zac I had IUI about 36 hours after getting a positive ovulation test. (Positive test Monday evening, insemination Wed morning.) It always amazes me how differently clinics can do things and still get successful outcomes.  Sorry to hear you are feeling ill but take comfort in the fact that it probably means all is well. With the baby I lost I hardly felt sick at all, whereas with Zac it was 24/7 vomiting  Next time (  ) I'll be longing for a bit of nausea!

Amanda, good luck with the weight loss  I am only doing the ovulation tests as a back up because I ovulated so early last time and missed my chance. It was actually my suggestion, not the clinic's advice. They go primarily by scans to time the trigger shot. But they said if I get a positive result today or tomorrow, to ring them immediately and they'll scan me the same day. I have a scan booked for Thurs anyway.  

Juju, glad the physio is helping. I had awful back pain when pregnant with Zac, feel silly now that I never asked for any help - I just put up with it   

AFM, no positive ov test yet but it is only day 8  I thought I felt the beginning of ovulation pain tonight though so who knows. Hoping I don't get a positive tomorrow as I'm supposed to be in a training thing at work and it will mean I'll have to cancel that. Oh and Zac is starting to use his sore hand a bit now, so I'm feeling reassured


----------



## carrie lou

Oh and I've just been wrapping Christmas presents  Don't you think it's one of the best things about being a parent. Shelley you have all this to come next year


----------



## juju81

Aww Shelley, fab fab news.  When is your nuchal scan? Bump coming along nicely, lots of kicks which is always reassuring  

Marge, you got very sick with both didn't you. Well, this sickness could be because tere are 2  . No can't use the same room as we moved last year! Also, I've got an owl theme going on, Noah had blue bears! It's our dumping room at the mo for all the things we had to move to make way for Christmas   

Carrie, glad Zacs hand is better.  I go ov pain quite early, a fair few days before I actually ov'd so fingers crosse it's not tomorrow! I had a physio class last time but they just talked to you.  This is like a proper exercise class with exercises to do at home. Def get help next time


----------



## juju81

Carrie, it's the best.  Since Noah we've really gone to town but I have to say this year will be the best yet.  He really understands about it


----------



## carrie lou

Zac is just getting the idea of the advent calendar. We have a home made one and every morning he gets a chocolate button in it and a toy plane. He has been so excited in the mornings to see what the "Advent Fairy" left for him! We have been talking in a vague way about what Santa will bring him. I'm not sure he fully gets it yet though. And visiting Santa's grotto is still a no-no   But it's good to hear that Noah is getting on board with it all, I suppose we will be at that stage next year


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## margesimpson

Juju - yup, had to take anti nausea drugs with both DS and DD so knew what was coming, but it's really scary to feel it coming on. It's practically a mantra to tell myself that it'll all be worth it! 

Christmas seems to get better every year, as they can get more excited and more involved. I love the idea of a homemade avent, but didn't get round to it - maybe next year? 

Carrie - sorry FET, of course!   how's zac's hand?

Hugs to all,
Mx


----------



## carrie lou

Marge, Zac's hand is a lot better thanks   He is still not using it 100% normally but is certainly on the mend now. Sorry about the sickness, having suffered badly myself I can only imagine how daunting it must feel to know that it's coming. Tbh it's something I'm trying not to think about too much, when I remember how miserable I felt the first time round, the thought of going through it all again   But the consolation this time I suppose is that I'll know it will get better, and as you say the end result will make it all worthwhile.   Eyes on the prize!  


Hope everyone is well this evening. I got a positive ovulation test this morning (day 10) - perfect timing as my scan was booked for lunchtime. Everything looks perfect and I have a juicy 26mm   follie on my left (although all ovulation pain has been on the right - can anyone explain that?!) So I'm doing my trigger injection tonight and having ET next Thursday. Everything crossed for my little snow baby     PS. Is it completely ludicrous that I'm now dreading injecting myself again?!


----------



## juju81

Carrie, yay for the positive OPK  . It's quite normal.  My nurse did tell me what it was called but I quite often got pain the opposite side to what I ov'd from.  When will OtD be then?


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## carrie lou

Ju, the nurse gave me an OTD of 22nd December   With a bit of luck it will be the best Christmas present ever! If not at least I'll have something to take my mind off it


----------



## juju81

Will be the best Christmas pressie ever


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## carrie lou

22nd December was the date of my 20 week scan with Zac... I hope it's a good omen


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie - best of luck    good omens are always a good thing


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Carrie - good luck. Trigger will be fine!    

I had my whooping cough vaccine today and I did not even feel it! I had to take a double look to see the liquid had gone from the syringe. It is a bit achey now.
Also had a midwife appointment and all well.
And I took C to see the GP as he has been spiking temperatures everyday since Sunday. Just a ''virus'' and to bring him back on Monday if still unwell.

Unfortunately, I think my Dad has caught it as he does not sound right on the phone and we were there at the weekend when C first had a temperature.

Dad's dementia takes an absolute plummeting nose dive as soon as he is not well in any minor way. He just phoned up and spoke complete gibberish. He has a new medication and it has completely thrown him sideways, even though I have written out a very very clear tick chart with exactly what time of day and what dose to take as you can imagine from a pharmacist. He just does not seem to be able to follow instructions at all.
He has carers who help him do his meds, but he is arguing with them, telling me total muddle that I cannot understand and in generally in a right pickle that makes no sense whatsoever.

I can't go over there in this storm, and I am not sure exactly what I could do anyway tonight.
Hmmmm! I don't like this at all.


----------



## northernmonkey

Carrie - wow, your tx has come round quickly (although it probably doesn't seem like it to you!) I turn 40 on the 21st Dec   which I'm dreading so you can cheer me up with some good news.   

Holly - your poor dad and poor you, it must be so worrying for you. Can you phone one of his carers to go out to check on him when he gets like that? Hope C is better soon. There are loads of bugs doing the rounds here - colds, chickenpox and a nasty 24 hour thing which causes an horrendous headache. 

Marge - did you have your hcg measured with your other two? Perhaps the reason you suffer with nausea is that you do produce high amounts??

Ceci - I wouldn't be in a rush to leave the sunshine etc either! Sounds like an amazing lifestyle! Do you have jobs lined up in the UK?

Shelley - great news about your scan.  

Afm - dd#3 has gone from being a fab sleeper to bleedin awful! She's now waking up twice in the night and 5am for the day (hence the reason I'm posting now)  I'm hoping its just teeth (she does have a few coming through) but I'm panicking that she'll have got into the habit of waking up and me going to her now. Am still bf'ing though so it's easy to settle her at least.  She'll be 1 at the end of December, I can't believe it! I feel as though I've missed her babyhood with being so busy with the other two    

Right, she's gone to sleep so back to bed for me. 

NM
x


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## ceci.bee

carrie that is very exciting                  for a lovely sticky Christmas present

Holly        that is really tough, can you get his GP out to see him today - there could be lots of reasons why he has got worse, the new meds or side effects, an infection or something else, I hope that you can get the help you need.

NM I am sure it is temporary and she will go back to sleeping through again soon - especially when the teeth come through! in the mean time I am sure brufen is your best friend right now.

Lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## carrie lou

Holly, what a worry about your dad - I agree with Ceci, can you get his doctor to go and see him ASAP?   


NM, Zac has been through lots of phases like that with bad sleep - but it always passes eventually. It could be developmental, is she learning to walk for example?  


Ceci -   


I'm having lots of cramps and funny stretching pains, I don't remember this being a side effect of the trigger before   And my boobs are a bit sore. Starting to obsess already, this doesn't bode well


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Carrie - I had exquisitely painful boobs after the trigger every time I have taken one and it lasts for about 9 days at which point it wears off and you convince yourself you are not pregnant! But actually it is the trigger clearing. I have found the sore boobs only come back at about 7 weeks pregnant.
I also got pains in my ovaries after triggering on the fresh cycles. I guess it is the trigger that can cause the OHSS, so it must do something significant.


----------



## carrie lou

That's interesting Holly. With Zac I never had sore boobs to speak of at all. With my second pregnancy they were very tender from the time I did the trigger shot, all the way through until about 7 weeks. It was the most noticeable symptom I had. Then they started to get less tender and a few days later I lost the baby   So I'll be praying they stay tender this time!   


I emailed the clinic because I was so worried about the pain - my lovely nurse replied saying it's normal after the trigger, and especially as I had a much larger follie this time than on any previous cycle, so it makes sense that I would feel this one.   The pain is pretty much gone now anyway.


----------



## ceci.bee

Carrie


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie- best of luck for Thursday will be thinking about you

I've been to see consultant . There's a few things that he's doing different . I'm having an endometrial scratching anyone else had this done ? Apparently lots of research done about it increasing chances of ivf success . As well as that I will be sedated by anesthetist for EC phew ! Last time I felt every single egg being collected  . Also  they are testing my amh and ill be having daily injections for downreg . Loads different . Anyone else had simular?


----------



## juju81

Have you ever had your AMH tested?  Hopefully all these changes will be a positive   


Carrie, good luck.  Exciting stuff. 


Holly, when is your csection? Not long tho I know that    will DH be with you    How's your dad?   


Hak, scan pics are fab,  are you feeling a bit brighter about it all now?


AFM, am doing well, tiredness easing and feel like it's just normal pregnancy tiredness now.  So thank god for that.  Plenty of strong kicks throughout the day,  thes me thinking she was quieter then Noah....it didnt last, she doesn't stop    A, getting so excited x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Amanda did you not d'reg before then? And no sedation??  

Not had the scratch but we had assisted hatching which worked


----------



## amandaloo

Mightymini- yes downregged but I sniffed nafarelin three times a day . I had some sedation last time but I was wide awake it didn't work . I was holding a nurses hànd saying how many more to go! I said today to consultant bit worried about it don't want to be awake again . He said don't worry NHs different to private its consultant led so I get anesthetist which I didn't get last time . I was that alert last time I was up and about soon as they let me up . Everyone else's was still in bed looking zonked ! 

Juju- glad your feeling better  , no didn't have amh last time just fsh


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I was nhs and was put out. I loved it   

I used to have injections for d'reg. they were fine.


----------



## carrie lou

I had general anaesthetic for my EC, I was terrified beforehand but it was fine and I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be aware of what was happening! You poor thing Amanda  I found this article about endo scratch. I have heard of other ladies having it, seems for the extra cost of £100 it would be worth a try:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/10358230/Scientists-find-simple-scratch-technique-improves-IVF-treatment-success.html

/links


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## ceci.bee

Amanda I had a scratch done by my London clinic before my first cycle - they said it increases blood flow and therefore implantation chances - I had it done under sedation and would not fancy it without! good luck hun


----------



## hakunamatata

Hey Amanda sounds like they've some good plans for you. I hope it all helps hun. 

Goof luck thurs Carrie, nerve wracking stuff.

Thanks girls I'm feeling much calmer since scan and seeing all is well. I'm measuring 14 weeks today and do glad I'm out and about again after the illness bout. That was awful. So behind with Christmas but sure we'll get there. X


----------



## northernmonkey

Carrie - good luck for tomorrow. How are you feeling?  

Amanda - I haven't had scratch done but have heard good things about it increasing success rates. When will you do ivf?

Hak - glad to hear you're feeling better. When's your due date by the way?

Proud mummy moment coming up   We went to dd's nativity last night and she did a recorder solo in front of 200 people - a verse of Away In A Manger. She was so good bless her, I was a bundle of nerves but she just stood up and got on with it. She fluffed a couple of notes and I thought she'd lose it but she carried on and played the rest perfectly. All the other soloists were the older kids so we were soooo proud. They hold the nativity in a local barn (and Mary rides in on a donkey!) so thank goodness it was fairly dark in there so no-one noticed me blubbing  

Ladies, I need to pick your brains. What kind of stuff do you all cook for meals? We're spending a fortune on food and I really need to get our shopping bills down but am struggling to do it. We cook everything from scratch and dh likes a big plateful of food.... I'm sure we would save money if I could sit down and plan some meals in advance but it's finding the time to do it.... I'm in Tesco every day buying for that day's meals!

Anyone heard from Pippi? Wondered if she had decided whether to go for #3?


----------



## juju81

Aww bless NM    


We shop weekly.  We eat......spag, jacket pots, pasta bakes, pies veg & potatoes, cottage pie, chilli, fajitas, casseroles, curry......buy ingredients weekly and in bulk.  Our local butcher does 1400g of extra lean mince for £7!  So that does 3 meals.  Pots and veg is minimal in money, pasta is mega cheap....we tend to spend about £75 a week! We do also have fish fingers, chicken fingers, and pasta and pesto if we need a quick dinner, shock horror...    I don't care though, he doesn't have it a lot and sometimes it's quicker and easier!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

We do similar to ju. Fish, cottage pie. Pasta bake, spag Bol. Casserole. Fish fingers   I **** from scratch except Fish fingers. Only cos I do slimming world. If you plan your week then you shouldn't need to go everyday.


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## carrie lou

NM, aaaw - well done to your DD, she's so young to be performing in front of so many like that - great achievement   

Dinners - I use my slow cooker a lot. I love it cos I can start a meal early in the morning while Zac is playing, then towards the evening when things can get a bit crazy, there is minimal preparation to do. I tend to cook double quantities in the slow cooker and then keep half for another meal (usually for a day when I knows I'll be home late or not have much time). I do soups, stews, casseroles, curries, even bolognese in it. Other popular meals are risotto with any combination of chicken, ham, vegetables and cheese on top. And pasta with tomato sauce. And we have fish fingers and oven chips once a week (with a salad to appease my guilt a bit!) which is nice and easy. I do a big internet shop every other week and top up with a few things in between. We go to the local butcher for meat which is cheaper than the supermarket. 

No I haven't heard from Pippi in ages, hope all is well with her.

ET is booked for 3pm tomorrow   I get a bit anxious thinking about it - this is our last frostie so there's a lot of pressure - but trying hard to stay relaxed and positive. I got the clinic to sign me off work for a few days. My job is very physical and demanding and I'd rather be taking it easy and letting little snow baby snuggle in, at least for the first few days.


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie - wishing you so much luck will be keeping my fingers crossed  until your otd    

Nm- arrr how nice I love the proud moments  . I do much the same as the others do . Buy enough mince and chicken in for spag Bol , chilli , shepherds pie , & chicken curry or casserole . I like using slow cooker too  . Also make sausage and bean casserole with a schwartz packet that's nice . I buy some easy frozen stuff too for when we are both at wrk as we don't get home until after 6 . If you buy big packs of mince and get freezer bags split it . And freeze meals if you can . I always try and eat leftovers next day or day  after . We used to waste too much now we are getting better at eating stuff we buy .

Ceci-- they just said take ibuprofen before ! Eeek ill most prob take paracetamol and ibuprofen . Could do with diazepam too lol !

Thanks everyone for replies . Tried to book appts today but they wanted my notes first . So will wait until tomorrow .


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Amanda - I'm another one who is wide aware when apparently ''sedated''. 22 eggs of ouch in my first cycle.  
It was a nurse doing the sedation and my heart rate was 140 throughout and she doubled the dose of drugs but I was still aware of every nasty needle. But they could not go higher on the drugs for fear of stopping me breathing and no anaesthetist to put a tube down.
So much so that I was terrified for my second egg collection, but I could not afford the extra £500 for an anaesthetist for a GA. 10 eggs so was not quite so prolonged and horrendous.
I am quite glad I don't have to go through it again TBH. Fingers crossed anyway.....

Home straight - c-section booked for 3rd Jan - 3 weeks and 2 days left. Appointment with consultant anaesthetist on NYE and I have demanded consultant only to see me as last time I had a   of a trainee poking about in my back 3 times before the block failed to numb me high enough and then I was threatened with cutting me open with not enough anaesthetic and if I could feel it being put out with a GA so I would miss the birth or a 4th attempt at the spinal by the consultant - which was very hard to get into position for as I was numb from the hips with legs that felt huge and disconnected. It instantly worked after she did it though.
Afterwards she said I had a bony step in my back that prevented the needle getting into the right place.

I wonder if I will have to have a GA this time?

Carrie - I so hope everything goes well tomorrow     

NM - what wonderful proud moments. We have all this to come. I did a flute solo when I was a teen and my mum wanted to record it. I was so convinced that I would get it wrong I banned the recording and then got it all perfect and wished she had recorded it anyway!  
It is lovely to see our children achieving things.    

I am sorry if I have missed anything. I've been at Dad's. It is really, really hard now. He cannot hold a conversation and gets almost every simple task wrong and confused. Totally heartbreaking as I am bewildered by it. Even though I know it is his dementia it is totally unfathomable. It is like living with someone from a different planet. He gets so frustrated, you can see how upset he is. There is no reasoning or explaining to him about anything. He can't be bothered to do much and is quite depressed and sleeps a lot. He is at that stage where he is still attempting to do stuff and sometimes is managing and good company, but then he will do or come out with something completely bizarre and I can't get out of him what he is trying to find/find out (probably because he does not actually know, has already forgotten or cannot express it).
He will do things like suddenly say to me ''what are the names of those half a dozen.... erm... you know... thingamy?'' And then get really upset when I say ''what half a dozen things? Give me a clue, what does it relate to?'' He then says ''oh forget it, I've done it all wrong again...'' and he will shut his eyes and go to sleep   I just don't know how to handle it? Please help me. Someone!

He was still in the same clothes I left him in a week ago. And I don't know how long he had been in them from before that. I could not get to the bottom of that (although he did not seem to have any clean pants or fitting trousers when I looked and I did a tonne of washing. He did not express that that was the problem though) and suspect he also sleeps in the chair a lot. Eventually the GP came out to him and could not find anything physical, just said it was probably the switch from donepezil to memantine and the fact he is getting worse. He took my number and details of the power of attorney. Advised me to start thinking about residential care. As if I haven't been already! Just don't know what to do.

He is not eating properly, as he refuses a meal from the carers because they come at 6pm. There was no evidence he had eaten a meal - only cakes, sweets, biscuits and crisps. He has lost a lot of weight in the last month. I fed him proper food and he ate it if put in front of him.

He is constantly convinced he has no money and that the carer's steal things - which are always there when I look for them. He even told me off for letting C watch a lot of Disney channel (how else do you keep a 2 year old entertained there for that long? Reason being, not because C was watching TV, but he thought you paid for every minute you watch - a bit like the phone bill. Where he has got this idea from all of a sudden I don't know? Probably because he has Sky TV and phone package. No wonder he has been switching it off and sitting in blank silence.

Sorry for essay, but it is absolutely horrible to watch. Glad the government have been discussing it today.


----------



## ceci.bee

Holly hun that sounds terrible          can the social worker increase his care package for now to 3 or 4 times a day and give you some advice on residential homes near you or his house? you are not a carer and can't do it continually especially when the baby comes. 
If the anaesthetist did get the spinal in last time in the end then they will do it again, you are right you need a consultant not a registrar but they can avoid the step and even use xray to get it in the right place these dayas - in my experience no anaesthetist would give a GA for a CS unless it was a crash emergency, as the drugs go straight through the placenta and anesthetise the baby meaning they have a high risk of needing to be sent to NICU and even ventilated until it wears off afterwards, and there is data about mothers finding it harder to bond with their babies when they have been asleep through the birth (although how much of that is confounded by the stress of the situation that meant they needed the GA in the first place I am not sure). Good luck and sending big       

Carrie              

NM I know what you mean about food - we tend to also buy things in bulk and eat for several days - I often roast a chicken (cheaper than buying chicken bits) and that will feed us for a few days, especially if you boil the bones to make stock and use that for soup or risotto later in the week. I also often make a big tray of roasted veggies that then we use in sandwiches/salads/side veg for the next few days. My Dh has a huge appetite and eats a lot!. Also doing a weekly shop online is much cheaper in the long term than actually going to the supermarket as you don't walk past all the nice looking stuff and think 'oh, its only another couple of quid, and looks nice for dinner' -which really adds up and you don't spend so much time in the shops as well so more time for other things like playing. Could you grow some veggies at home in the spring? the girls would love it and also cheap if you can keep the slugs off!!

Hak fabulous news loved seeing the scan pics so pleased you are getting your head around it, you will be fabulous.

Lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly has he got a social worker? You really need to contact elderly persons dept - social services. Especially now you are so close to the baby. You can't carry on like this. What part of the country are you? 

Is he on anti depressants? They often put people with dementia on on them as it's usual they suffer with depression. 

Make that phone call today and make him safe    And be tough with them


----------



## amandaloo

Holly - I think you need to speak to your dads social worker and discuss his care package with him if he is deteriorating  . Why are the carers so  rigid with the times can that not be changed too especially if he won't eat at 6pm ? Is he still safe in the home at present ? He's not trying to cook or wandering is he? It's extremely hard what your going through  . My mum looks after my grandad as full time carer and he has Parkinson's and early stage dementia . My mum has put little notes that are laminated around his home which has helped slightly . He can sometimes be very upsetting accusing her of not visiting him etc when she clearly has done . My grandad also hallucinates but my mum finds it easier to go along with this rather than challenging it . Maybe if your dad is getting frustrated in conversations you could try and go along with half a sentence saying "yes I know what you mean "  rather than him getting frustrated . There are lots of support groups out there too which may be worth attending for tips as well as support


----------



## carrie lou

Oh Holly  I work with people with dementia but can't imagine how hard it must be seeing someone you love deteriorate like that. I agree with the others, he clearly needs more support than he's getting. Be firm with them honey, especially with your baby due so soon - you can't be expected to cope with all this as well.


----------



## carrie lou

I am PUPO   Our snow baby survived the thaw with 70-80% of its cells intact and started expanding again. Embryologist said it looked just like a fresh embryo. The nurse said I have amazing embryos - I took it as a compliment   I'm feeling hopeful at the moment, but may keep a low profile on here for the next few days to avoid going completely   . 


Hope everyone is well. Thank you all so much for your positive vibes.   Hope to be back before Christmas with some news...


----------



## amandaloo

Pinkcat - what wonderful news )   hope you can relax now . Good luck with pram hunting xx

Carrie- best of luck love we will all be thinking of you xx


----------



## juju81

Good luck Carrie, fingers crossed for you  

Pinkcat, fab news hun.  Did you find out what your having?


----------



## shelleysugar

Carrie - congrats on being PUPO - wishing you a positive and fruitful 2WW.       

PinkCat - get shopping I say - well done and congrats  

Holly - lots of good advice from the lovely ladies on here, I'm sorry your dad is going through such a tough time.  Thinking of you.

Shelleysugar x


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Pinkcat - wonderful news. Hope you can relax a little now. Although it must still be a little more stressful than a single pregnancy.
Double buggy wise, I have bought an out n about nipper - I got it for £110 second hand from a very clean house, but they are £300 - 400 in the shops. 
Advantages - light to lift as doubles go, easy to fold up. Takes babies laying flat to 22 Kg per seat. Turns on a sixpence. Has good shopping basket and hood. Wheels very easy to get off to put in the boot of the car. Will fit where a wheelchair will go. Side by side - I hate the ones where they sit on top of each other. All terrain as 3 wheeler.
Disavantages - face away from you only. Does not take the car seats. Quite wide.

Carrie     More wonderful news. Let us hope this is third time lucky from this batch of eggs! Fingers crossed and crossed again!

Thanks for the advice ladies.
Social services : I can ask social services to come and do an assessment again. But from previous experience if he is not actually blocking a bed in hospital it could be 3 months before they come. He does not have a social worker as they washed their hands of the case as soon as they found out he was self funding and just gave me a list of care agencies and said off you go - your responsibility to sort it out! He then got a letter from them saying that they would have nothing further to do with him, but would assess again if requested in the future.

Depression : I have asked my dad's consultant psychiatrist and dementia nurse to assess him for depression and I have been told it is not amenable to antidepressants and is part of the dementia. For them though he acts jovial and on good form. They do not see him asleep in the chair for 20 hours a day.

Safety : He is not wandering or cooking so safety is not too much of an issue yet. Becoming unkempt and not eating healthy food is more of an issue. He does hallucinate and talks to my dead mother and calls C by my name as if I am the toddler again. He knocks on the door of the neighbours when the hallucinations confuse him or he can't get me on the phone and is convinced that I am dead rather than just out shopping! The neighbours have told me that I am ''uncaring'' because I have not put him in a home.

Upping his care visits to 3 or 4 a day would be cheaper than a nursing home by a long way, and maybe this is the way forward for now. A nursing home is £600- 1000 per week roughly, some of the better dementia service homes that really stimulate the residents is £6000 a month. 
Staying at home with 3-4 times a day visits would be more like £500-600 a month. But my Dad is so worried about money all the time and if I start dipping into his savings it will be upsetting for him - and once you run out of savings it is then selling the house to pay for it and he will be forced to move into a home with the added cost.

It is so hard - you work all your life 12 hours 7 days a week, save, never have much fun/holidays etc as you are saving and paying bills, never claim any benefits and then in your old age everywhere turns their back on you because you have your own house.
I have been going around in circles looking for suitable homes - some won't look at him because he is self funding, some won't look because of the dementia and some won't look because they have to put council tennants at the top of the waiting lists.


----------



## amandaloo

Holly- I'd still ask for reassessment . I will ask at wrk tomorrow with the elderly team to see if they come up with anything I can't think of . I think you should be entitled to carers assessment too it sounds like you do a lot for him  . You can get vouchers towards respite for them if you need a break its worth having one completed


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Carrie good luck  

Pink cat hope you can relax now. Get a side by side. I had the Phil and ted and hated it. But with twins it would be no good anyway. It's for a toddler and baby. 

Holly he needs reassessing. They have a duty of care to make sure he is safe. He's vulnerable now. Like Amanda said try to get him respite. I really think you should consider a home for him.


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## ceci.bee

Pinkcat that is wonderful news                  that you now get to term and have a smooth delivery, so pleased for you

Carrie keeping EVERYTHING                 for third time lucky with you, sounds promising embie. totally understand about keeping a low profile, I will be rooting for the best xmas present for you

Holly hun, can you talk to your Dad's GP and get him or her to push for a reassessment. I totally get you about the lack of social services for self funding people, but as he is vulnerable then they might be able to assess him on those grounds. Good luck adn thinking of you


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Pinkcat oyster do a double now


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## hakunamatata

Congratulations pink that's fantastic news you must be so relieved. You're restrained not finding out the sex, I'm impatient LOL. We'll be finding out at the 20 week scan 23rd Jan. We will be needing a triple buggy as Addi will be only 2 and 3 months at best. Haven't looked at costs yet and don't know how easy they are to pick up second hand. So will you be having scans and seeing consultant every 4 weeks now?
I've heard nothing from diabetes team yet but I think im eating there perfect diet little and often and pretty much gone off cake and chocolate, which is why I'm convinced I'm carrying boys. Looking forward to feeling them. The placentas are behind this time so I should feel them a lot more than Addi. X 

Carrie do pleased to hear all went well, I'm praying you get the best gift for christmas, and it'd only what you deserve. X 

Dear holly I hope you're ok you've so much on your shoulders I wish i were closer to help. Big hugs x


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## juju81

Hak, they do seat that connects to a double, nt sure why its called or where from but my friend who had twins in June and her little girl turned 2 in July was talking about getting one because she's struggling with the buggy board! I craved fruit and nut when I was pregnant with Noah and this time I still like a bit of choc.  My pregnancies have been identical (apart from a bit of rage and morning sickness at 22wks   ) exciting, can't wait to hear what your having  . My placenta is anterior but I wonder if its moving because nick felt her last night and the kicks are defo getting harder! I love how the kicks and punches are slowly moving up my belly as she gets bigger!  

Pinkcat my post didn't post the other day but I had said the same as minx about oyster! Someone in town has one! 

I'm classed a viable from Saturday.  Another milestone down


----------



## juju81

Pinkcat, I wasn't due to see my midwife until 28wks (2nd preg) but they are seeing me Christmas Eve now too   are you anxious about the prospect of twins or did you suffer anxiety before?


----------



## JanaH

Hak - this is what Juju was talking about. 
[/size]http://www.buggypod.com/buggypod_ioconverted.php


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## juju81

Ah, that's it! Thanks Jana!

How's your holiday?


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

A girl near me has one of them


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## abcdefgh

Mistletoe -  

Pinkcat and Hakuna - Congrats on successful twin scans! x

Carrie -    

Marge - How are you? When is the first scan?

AFM - 12 week scan tomorrow - I'm a bit nervous but hoping all will be ok and I can properly get excited / start telling people... Am I being a bit daft thinking that we won't need a double buggy? DD will be 22 months when this one arrives but she already loves walking and I thought we'd just get a buggy board for when she's tired. Also, we've got a spare fold up buggy as well as the travel system so we can use that for longer walks when my husband is around. What do you think? I haven't really looked into it but assumed double buggies would be very impractical and possibly quite expensive.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ds was 21 months when ds2 came and we needed one. Especially on days out where they may need a sleep or going long distances. I don't find mine impractical. We had the Phil and Ted. It was fine when ds2 lay flat but as soon as he was in the bit at the bottom he hated it. So I got a side by side. I like it. I don't Often use it now unless we go out for the day. 

It's a funny age cos they are at the In between stage. You could get a 2nd hand one


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

My LO is 2.5 on Saturday and I know I need a double buggy.
He will walk quite a distance now - but it is snails pace. I know I am not going to have much time to get to places like taking him to preschool or playgroup when I also have to breast feed, change and get a little one ready in addition to him, especially with the relentless new born poos. It is hard enough getting out of the door on time with one, let alone two, so I am going to be sprinting down the road and there is no way C will keep up. Or I am going to be getting stressed and he will pick up on that and just sit in the road in the wet and say cuddle me.

Also if he is tired he won't walk. I can just imagine walking a full half mile back (as the crow flies, so longer on the road), back from preschool carrying a 29lb toddler and pushing a baby in a buggy up hill with a recent c-section scar. Or putting the baby in a sling and pushing the toddler in the buggy I suppose is the other option. But I tried carrying C in a sling when he was about 10 weeks old and he was too heavy for my back even then.

I am not sure about a buggy board. My LO still likes a daytime nap on more than half the days, so him having to stand on a buggy board I am not sure would work. You can't force them to stay still on it, so what if he won't get on or stay on and there is a busy road or you have got miles from home when rebellion starts?

And shops. I don't know about you, but I hate to see riotous children in shops. I hate being in shops if my LO wants to touch stuff on the shelves or I need to carefully look at something and I need to know where LO is at all times and he want's to go elsewhere. At this age they are too young to reason with still and I prefer to have my LO strapped in a buggy when we shop in a big shopping mall so I know he is not causing any damage, is with me and not getting stressed trying to run off.

I still cannot get the story of Jamie Bulger out of my mind. 
If his mother had had him strapped in a buggy he would still be alive. She only turned her back for a second to pay for something in a shop and her little boy was tortured and murdered by other children. I know this is extreme and very very rare, but it haunts me.


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## juju81

Holly, you can't sleep either? I've got a stinking cold   


There was no way I could have gone without a pushchair at 2.5.  Noah was still in one in the summer.  Only recently we have stopped using it.  Why make life harder for yourself when it's going to get tuned upside down again.  I'm already stressing about being out the door by 7.30 when I go back to work after this little one.  Think nanny will have to feed her like she did Noah!


This baby moves just like her brother did now. Only difference is she doesn't move in the night.  Saying that, she is currently booting away as I type but think that's more because I've got up and had a cup of tea! I've noticed she responds to voices now too.  She'll wake in the morning after hearing me/nick/Noah talking.  This is what I love about pregnancy.  If I could miss out the treatment and those first 16wks of preg, I'd do it more


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Hey Ju - I have been awake every night from about 3-5am for weeks and weeks now. I am being prepared for the 4am feed. Little girl knows what she wants. I am usually very hungry and have to get up for cereal.
Tonight I fancied cheese and biscuits as a snack instead of a full dinner. I am never very hungry in the evening and hardly eat a meal at the moment as I feel sick again. But it has back fired and I have heartburn/indigestion. I should have known that cheese and biscuits is not a great idea at 8 months pregnant.
I am sitting here with a glass of milk and just had a little icecream to try and calm it.

Had a growth scan today and LG weighs 6lbs 6oz and is looking perfect. Saw a great picture of her face - she was looking right at the ultrasound.


----------



## juju81

Funnily enough I just had a couple of biccies cos my stomach was rumbling! 


Oh bless her, that's a nice weight. Are you all prepared? Your not going to hospital on your own are you?


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

I have no idea - living with DH is like living with Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.
Last week he asked me when I was having ''this'' baby. And when I said 3rd Jan he told me he was going away with the LR on the 4th and ''I was joking''!!!
I have asked him repeatedly whether he is going to be there since he has only been to the embryo transfer, nothing else - no scans, never shown any interest, refers to it as ''your baby'' and we will get divorced once you have had ''your baby''. His answer is he does not know if he wants to be there.
My poor little girl is going to have this man on her birth certificate and yet I will have to explain that he was not there.

So I have texted my best friend and asked her if she will be my birth partner. She is currently trying to juggle things. Just hope I don't go into labour early with all these people making arrangements for me.

I have also made arrangements for my very good friends around the corner to have C for me when I am in hospital as I could not see any firm commitment or promises to be around and look after my little boy responsibly from DH. I told him tonight that C is playing round there this pm, will be again on Wednesday and he will be staying there when I am in hospital. DH said ''well I can't cope can I?''. I am not sure what that meant. I told him he told me only last week he was going away on the 4th and he told me that he ''never said that''............. Then he looked in his diary and said oh yeah, yes I am.

It is Peeing me off big time. BIG TIME. I think I have to be independent and make all my own arrangements for me and my children as I appear to be the only one who cares and knows that you can't leave this stuff to chance - get to the day and think ''ohhh where is C going to go today? Mummy has to go and have a major operation and give birth''....... I don't think so!

I am thinking of taking the car seat with me to hospital on day one and asking the midwives to lock it away for me. Then I can get home by taxi when I am ready and not be reliant on anyone. Porters can wheel me to the door with my luggage.


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## juju81

I can't believe he's going away the next day.  What a truly horrid man.  Well he really go? You won't be able to cope at home on your own hun?  Superwoman wouldn't even be able to    have you got anyone who can come and help if he does go away?  The man astounds me.


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

As it is a c-section I will be in hospital for at least 2 nights. My friends are prepared to have C until I come home. I fully expect to get zero, zilch help at all. I will have to cope with baby and toddler and major surgery all on my own and deal with Dad miles away in total state of confusion too. He is getting so bad with his Alzheimers and I won't be able to drive over there to solve the latest crisis either - OMG!

Last time my Dad helped me for about 4 days out of every 2 weeks for 6 months, til he got ill, and I only had one baby then. And I had a second 4 days in hospital resting while the SCBU nurses looked after C for me a lot.

I am just wondering if I should rush to a solicitor in the next few days and draw up a new will to ensure C has provision. My will has not been updated for a while. What do you think?


----------



## hakunamatata

Hey girls I'm awake too. Addi decided 4 30 was time to get up, she's always more unsettled when she's had no nap. 

Holly I really cannot believe you're going through this alone. thank goodness for your dear friend. What a worry for you. Always good to have will in order, I do wish you would get divorce legal advice too. 

Morning ju. X well I'm going to jump in the shower as off to ipswich today. Hopefully I can nap when I get there x


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I've been awake from 5 too. My anxiety is through the roof at the moment with Xmas coming up  

Holly I don't know how you do it. I wouldn't be able to control my anger towards him. Did you contact social services for your dad?


----------



## amandaloo

On the pushchair front my lo is 2.5 and there's no chance I'd go out with one he's started getting very naughty on the reigns too especially in shops . Total nightmare so id be buying a double buggy . 

Will catch up later running late x


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## abcdefgh

Thanks for the pushchair advice. Hmm, maybe I do need to look into it. Our house is not very big though - we've got very little hallway space and no garage or anything so I don't know where we'd store it, but I'll do some research and look at the options.

The 12 week scan was fine. The baby is measuring 3 days ahead and we have an EDD of 23rd June   . The nuchal measurement was 2.2mm (took her flipping ages to get it as baby kept wriggling - I was worried something was wrong). I have a feeling that's a bit higher than it was with DD but still within normal range, right? I know it's pretty meaningless without the blood results etc but I can't help obsessing


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

We keep our pram on the car


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## juju81

Sounds alright to me abcd   that's the day I fly back from my holiday   yeah keep it in the car?


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## amandaloo

Abcde- great news on scan I keep my pram in car too we have a pram in both our cars have done from start xx


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

I currently have 3 prams in my hall. The Bugaboo Chameleon, the Maclaren buggy and the folded Outnabout nipper. For a double it folds really flat and leans against the wall.
I can't really keep mine in the car all the time. I have horse tack to store somewhere too, which is also currently in my hall. My hall is not that big either. I keep bashing my bump on the buggy getting past.


----------



## abcdefgh

Keeping it in the car is a good idea but my DH takes the car to work so if we're in and out during the day it wouldn't really help. Plus, with DD I often left her sleeping in the hallway if she was asleep in the pushchair when we came home but I worry I wouldn't get a double in the front door so would have to take the baby out before folding it up. I guess I'll just have to look at the narrowest models and see how much they are.


----------



## northernmonkey

Abc - my dd#2 was 2 yrs 8 mths when dd#3was born and we managed without a double buggy but largely due to circumstances - we live 5 mins walk from Tesco and round the corner from all our playgroups, so we never had to walk a great distance.  If I needed to go somewhere that involved a lot of walking I just made sure dh could come so we could take the fold up buggy for dd# 2, or put baby in a sling. 

Mini - am with you on the anxiety. Trying to sell our house on top of everything else, I must be crazy.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ds1 behaviour is just awful at the moment. Today was horrendous.  
I actually felt physically ill when trying to deal with him. 

Abc we've got the new britax. It's really narrow. It fits down our alleyway that is really narrow. Dh said no way would it fit but it does. The city baby jogger is the same


----------



## northernmonkey

Mini   what was he doing?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Everything   tantrums in the co op. Kicking and throwing stuff. Then sane when we got home. ALL DAY!


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## amandaloo

Mighty mini - I'm feeling your pain   my DS is similar at moment very naughty when I take him out . I know where the phrase throwing things out of your pram comes from heck . I ended up with a shoe and sockless ds other day in a crowded shop . He tried getting hold of cards in the shop threw his raisins all over floor blanket and fruit shoot you name it it went on the floor. I ended up going home after I'd had enough '


----------



## juju81

Amanda, I think it was at the age your DS was that I stopped taking Noah shopping! I hate to say it but the 2's are nothing on the 3's      jeepers.  We're just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Seriously


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## amandaloo

Juju- OMG     it's going to get worse


----------



## amandaloo

Forgot to say got nurse consultation and baseline scan on Monday next week . Should be ready to start Ivf towards middle/end of jan


----------



## juju81

You ain't seen nothing yet! 


Whooo hooooo new year, new baby


----------



## amandaloo

Juju- I hope so   . I'm now skint ! 

How much have ppl paid for Ivf drugs ? They said 1000-2000 eeekkk


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Yes 3 is far worse   it's the fecking Pitts some days. Seriously   2 is a dream compared to this


----------



## juju81

Hmm can't help you Amanda.  I have read before tho that Asda are pretty cheap


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## amandaloo

I've no choice I've to use a delivery service that clinic use . They have been reasonable so far though 

Mightymini.    omg !


----------



## abcdefgh

Mini - Thanks, I might check those out. Sorry you're having a tough time with behaviour issues. I'm dreading that stage, but girls are not as bad, right?!   

NM - It's good to hear that you managed without a double. I'm going to do some research into them but I'm thinking I might just see how we get on in the first few weeks using the sling, buggy board, two buggies (DH will be on summer hols as he is a teacher) etc and then make a decision for the longer term.

Amanda - Sorry, don't know about IVF drugs. Exciting that things are moving forward quickly.   

Carrie - Thinking of you.


----------



## northernmonkey

Yep, I agree age 3 has been the hardest with dd#2 in terms of behaviour.  She was grumpy, cheeky, sullen, would kick off at the slightest thing and just didn't actually seem to like us! I was getting really worried about her because she seemed so unhappy that I convinced myself there was something wrong with her. Now suddenly she is changing. She's good company, we can reason with her, she will apologise for things (getting her to say sorry was like getting blood out of a stone before!) and I no longer go into her bedroom in the morning dreading what mood she might be in.  She's suddenly doing new things like learning to write her name so I think she must have had a development leap that has made her mature emotionally a bit too.  So it does get better!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Phew!  

Amanda I think we paid about 1.5k for meds. We used the delivery service too. Gonal f is expensive.


----------



## juju81

NM Noah is the same which is why i think we're over the worst of the 3's.  he'll say sorry, hug you etc and understands what he's saying sorry for.  Dont get me wrong, we still have some horrendous days but they are becoming few and far between.  Minx, it sounds like your at the stage I was a few months back, I think come march time you'll see a improvement


----------



## northernmonkey

Funny how different siblings can be though. DD#1 has literally had one tantrum her whole life and that lasted about 30 seconds. She is so laid back - just as well cos if she'd had the temperament of her sister there wouldn't have been a #3 ha ha! Am waiting to see who the baby takes after - no prizes for guessing who I'm hoping....


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Me thinks it can't be ''that'' bad as some of you who have been though tough times are having more!

Perhaps we all know the benefits/love outweigh these tough times?

Had midwife this morning. All well - she is 1/5th engaged. Hope I get 2 more weeks and don't go early.


----------



## northernmonkey

Holly if you went into labour would they let you try a natural delivery?


----------



## northernmonkey

Meant to say I know you would prefer a cs but if things are progressing when you reach hospital do they see how you get on? (I was 6cm dilated when I reached hossie with #3 - although she still took her time coming!)


----------



## juju81

Holly, believe me I've been reduced to tears some days wondering what the feck I'm doing but like you say, I just keep thinking of the future and how lovely it will be in the future for them


----------



## northernmonkey

That'll teach me not to say dd is much better behaved lately. She's been a right madam this afternoon.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Yes - I would be given the choice to VBAC if I got there and things were progressing well without me knowing or too much distress. Say if I had a quiet labour and arrived at the hospital 6-8cm dilated already, I might give it a go. It would be much easier with a toddler to care for.
I can withdraw consent for a CS anytime. I guess it would depend on how I was feeling at the time and how far the labour had progressed.

I would not want to be in labour for hours fearful of the baby's health though and getting into the early hours with a CS on the cards.


----------



## northernmonkey

Holly - So we could have a surprise announcement before January   29th December is a good date (dd's birthday!)

Marge - how are you?

Carrie -  

Am a bit worried about my dad at the moment. He was admitted to hospital on Sunday with pneumonia and picked up really well after being given iv antibiotics. Then yesterday he became really breathless again and the dr detected fluid on his lungs and he's not so good again today - temperature spiking and some weird 'vacant' episodes as my mum described them and the dr is putting down to the high temp. We are 300 miles away and it's so difficult knowing whether to go and see him. He'll be 80 in January and we are planning on going up then - such an awful journey with 3 kids and I couldn't do it twice in 3 weeks  Such a worry when parents live so far away.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

NM - it is hard isn't it?  Your parents are even further then mine by a long way. What have the doctors said about it? Has he now got a hospital acquired pneumonia? They will increase the potency of the antibiotic and if he is getting tired put him on some respiratory support - initially CPAP - which is some extra air pressure to keep the lungs inflated.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Nm if you're worried then go see him.  

Holly it is that bad believe me. Like ju he reduces me to tears. I think he's got to the stage that he really needs school now and is bored at home with his old mum and grannies   ds2 is nothing like ds1 so hopefully we won't have to cope with it all again


----------



## northernmonkey

Gosh I'm not sure - what's hospital acquired pneumonia? My dad has COPD from working with asbestos so is prone to bad chest infections (well he's always been prone  to them actually but even more so now.) he developed one last week which turned into pneumonia. I know he was given oxygen yesterday when he had the breathless episode and again today. He's been prescribed diuretics to try to clear the fluid on his lungs  but I'm not sure if my mum really manages to speak to a dr or gets updates from the nurses. It was such a relief on Monday evening when I heard the antibiotics had made such a difference and now I'm thinking why is he going backwards.


----------



## northernmonkey

Mini our posts crossed. Dd finishes school tomorrow so will see how my dad is tomorrow and decide what to do.

Your ds looks such an angel on the photo!


Code:


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ask to speak to the doc yourself. 

Yes he looks an angel


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Fluid on the lungs could be a touch of heart failure or the chest infection. Often elderly people with sepsis need the fluid to maintain blood pressure, but it is a fine balancing act as their heart cannot always cope with even a little too much fluid, so the doctors will adjust with diuretics and other drugs to off load the heart. CPAP will also push fluid out of the lungs as it can sometimes be the pressures inside the alveoli that allow fluid to accumulate. Putting in a little extra pressure by tight fitting mask or a helmet can just push that fluid out and inflate all the little balloons in the lungs - think how hard it is to blow up a flat unused balloon, compared to a balloon that already has a little air in it. This is what CPAP does - it reduces the work of breathing.

Hospital acquired pneumonia happens when you have been in hospital 3-5 days. You initially get put on antibiotics that cover community acquired strains, but once in hospital you can easily pick up more resistant strains and sometimes the antibiotic cover needs to be escalated to cover more resistant bugs.

Obviously I am speaking from my experience in ICU over many years - I don't know your Dad's case in any way at all or what is results are looking like/ what treatment he has had.

I suggest you speak to the doctors directly and they will tell you whether they think you should go and see him.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly you should be a doctor


----------



## juju81

northernmonkey said:


> Your ds looks such an angel on the photo!
> 
> 
> Code:


   

NM I know what you mean about driving so far with little kids. It's no fun. Personally, if he's stable and is being well looked after, I'd just go up in January. Obviously I'm not sure how poorly he is though 

Holly, I'm not sure if I've missed something but why are you having a c section? Is it because of a medical condition? I'm just surprised that your worried about after the birth that surely trying natural first would e better for you afterwards?


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## northernmonkey

Great minds think alike Mini - that's what I was going to say!  

Thanks for the advice Holly - you're right, I'll ask my mum to ask the dr if he would advise that we go up.


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## carrie lou

AAARGH I'm going completely loopy     I haven't tested yet. Yesterday I hit a low and lost all my PMA and was convinced it hadn't worked. Gave myself a stern talking to and managed to calm down... Now this morning I feel slightly queasy but I don't know if it's just the anxiety. I'm so wary of getting my hopes up after what happened last time. 

I'm working tomorrow so don't want to test then as I'll have to rush off straight away. Going to test Sunday morning assuming AF hasn't shown up by then.

Please can someone tell me to get a grip    


NM, sorry to hear about your dad   Can you ring the hospital ward, you should be able to speak to the nurses looking after him or even the junior doc, and find out what's going on


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## northernmonkey

Ju our posts crossed. Been trying to type mine for 15 mins inbetween getting kids ready for school etc! Kept getting interrupted with such lovely requests like 'mummy can you wipe my bottom please' and 'mummy my nose is snotty can you wipe it.'  Such a glamorous job being a mum  

Carrie - when is your OTD? Got to say I'm very anxious generally but it never makes me feel queasy so I really hope it's a good sign for you.    aren't you tempted to test today??


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## juju81

Carrie, when is otd? The problem with blasted tx and the 2ww is we can read into anything.  Hopefully it is because your going to get a BFP.  Did u get nausea this soon before? Just test man!


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## carrie lou

NM, I don't have any tests in the house, deliberately didn't buy any yet so I wouldnt be tempted to test early. Also I'm too scared to test in case of a negative result - I just don't think I can handle any more bad news   

Ju, the clinic gave me OTD of Sunday but I am 8dp6dt today... I've missed my first morning wee though   

We found out yesterday that DH has lost his grievance at work, so he is now going to lose his job. He will appeal but we aren't holding out much hope. Hopefully he will be redeployed or if not, he will get a redundancy package. Strangely I don't seem to have the energy to be worried about it


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## northernmonkey

Carrie - I tested in the afternoon with dd#2 and still got a strong bfp so you could still do it today   Sorry to hear about your dh but I strongly believe things happen for a reason and there will be better things from him round the corner.


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## carrie lou

Thanks NM. To be honest it will be good just to know what we're facing. This has been hanging over us for nearly 6 months now, not knowing how much longer he's going to have a job. It's been very stressful


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## ceci.bee

Carrie hun so sorry to hear about DH, that is terrible. I hope he gets the package and you can both move forward with your lives with that particularly stress behind you. Test when you feel ready to test - only on OTD can you know for certain if the stick is right or not, and sometimes testing early and seeing a BFN because only it is too early can be extra stressful. keeping everything                            

lots of lvoe to all
Ceci


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## juju81

Carrie, sorry about your DH   so technically 14days? No AF yet is surely a good sign? I once tested evening and still got positive!


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## abcdefgh

Carrie - sorry to hear about your DH but hopefully you can move forward now and I'm sure things will work out  . I think you would probably get an accurate result on a sensitive test like FR even in that afternoon / evening at this stage, but I know what you mean about dreading seeing a BFN. Really hope you won't have to though!


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## carrie lou

Thanks ladies. Re DH - I really just want to know what the future holds, I'm glad we hopefully won't have much longer to wait for an outcome  


I've got some tests... But still too scared to use them.   I just couldn't bear to see a BFN, don't think i could cope


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## northernmonkey

Oh bless you Carrie, I remember that feeling    I must admit I always waited for af to arrive rather than face seeing a bfn. Well you know we are all keeping everything crossed for you. Really, really hoping that this is your time.


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Juju - my own reasons!

I waited 11 years to have C and spent £16K, lost one in the 2nd trimester. I was 40 at delivery. 
I know too much from working in hospital for many years that things can go wrong with a delivery very quickly and very badly. I did not want my baby to be in distress in the last few moments and have a crash section, especially not at 3am with a surgeon who had been on duty for hours and perhaps someone else in theatre when my baby was possibly dying. My anxiety levels just would not have taken it - not a good frame of mind to be in. I was told my risk of an emergency section was 30% plus at my age.
That was too high a risk for me as the risks of an emergency procedure far outweigh the risks of a planned one.

I was also told that if I had another one I would be 2-3 years older (which I am) and my risk of an emergency section would be even higher and the consultant would recommend c-section delivery even more, especially if it would be a VBAC attempt.

My midwives are fully supportive of my reasons too and actually agree with me, would suggest the same.

I am concerned for after the birth, but my absolute priority is to have a safe arrival of the baby.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly after seeing what happened to my friend after a VBAC I would highly recommend a c section. They both nearly died from her womb splitting. It was horrendous. But all ok now. 


Carrie    TEST


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## juju81

Fair enough   I had a pretty horrific labour with Noah but the after part of a c section terrifies me! Both types have risks, it would just be a lot better if the stork delivered lol


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

There are no guarantees after a vaginal delivery that you will not have a bad recovery though either - some people have terrible 3rd degree tears and prolapses or infection and you can be pretty exhausted. Or go through labour for days and then have a c-section anyway.

I would rather go in nil by mouth for 12 hours after a night's sleep (hahaha - nerves) and have a calm controlled procedure and be home in 48 hours.


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## juju81

Stork!   my sister had terrible problems after her 2nd c section unfortunately.  Thing is we all know someone who knows someone who had scary deliveries whatever way they are born.  Lets pray we all have lovely straightforward births especially after what we've gone through to have them  . Two week today for you you lucky devil!


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## juju81

However, yes like you say, she had a full nights sleep and a lovely calm few hours before.  It was just the recovery!


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I forgot you were pg then ju!


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## juju81

24wks tomorrow.  She's viable   

I'm going for a holistic home birth anyway.  I'm going to hum my way through it and eat the placenta with egg and soldiers afterwards!


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




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## juju81

Will you come and hold my hand minx?  I might even have a spare egg?


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Wasn't there some celebrity who had a placenta cocktail party for all her friends.  

You do never know. I am hoping proper preparation and positive attitude and I will recover in 2 weeks like I did with C and be back on full form by 11 weeks - I went back to my aerobics at 11 weeks with C.


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## juju81

Haha yeah I remember reading that Holly, she denied it tho, not sure why!! Haha

11wks! Well done you.  I hate exercise lol. I'm planning on going back to slimming world after 2wks.  I've got a swim cossie to get into end of June  

Carrie......did you test?


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## carrie lou

Nope still haven't tested   Sorry  


But have reason to be hopeful....


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## juju81

Urm...Mrs Carrie....(don't know your surname   ) you can't leave it like that dammit   

No af?  Been sick? Feel kicks?


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## carrie lou

Firstly no AF 14 days after trigger shot - I know cyclogest can delay it but with my bfn in August it arrived on day 15. Also I've been getting those stretching pains all afternoon/evening when I cough, laugh, reach for something etc. Oh I really hope I'm not tempting fate and that it's not all in my head


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## juju81

Defo positive signs.  The stretching pains were my first sign.  I swear to god.  I still get them now too.  I remember (tmi) I'd been to the loo and had got up to wipe (!) and my god the pain from moving too quick.  I sneezed in the car and the pain in my groin   are you holding off until Sunday?


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

I had stretching pains in my pregnancies all three times as one of the first signs.

And oh boy are they still there - I sneezed in bed this morning and was worried I had torn my section  scar for 5 minutes.

I went crimbo shopping this evening without C. Which has advantages and disadvantages. One is that I usually hang my shopping bags on the buggy   . Could hardly carry them tonight and luckily M+S let me leave all my shopping in the trolley from everywhere, including them, and collect by car. I would not have managed otherwise.

The baby was wriggling and making me wince. I am waddling now    I had severe shooting pains down my inner thigh. I think she might have been trying to be more than 1/5th engaged. Oh heck! I need to get to the 3rd Jan as that is when I have childcare and a birth partner ........

How am I going to do the xmas food shopping and wrap presents when I am getting to the point of being really uncomfortable. Nearly got all the presents now. Just have to do the pets and print 24 photos for photo calendars from C for Dad and MIL.

My laparoscopy scar in my belly button from 2006 has split open under the pressure of the pregnancy and it is really really sore.


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## hakunamatata

Poor holly it does not sound good you could really do with more help. x wish we weren't virtual friends

Carrie sounds very good to me and I so much pray its a good sign, you so deserve this Christmas present. 

Well I did post the other day but it didn't stick, doh. I've had a shooting pain up my mini, hard to describe other than that since 8 weeks. It's got steadily worse. I had it with Addi. it really affected my walking thurs but eases with rest. Making Addi nap is vital which has been a battle. My sickness still isn't goid at all and not really enjoying food. Tested my levels with old diabetes kit last night and they were high on eating very little, doh. I haven't been called for testing yet, been quite surprised. Sorry to whinge its just git me down a bit. 

Nm hope you spoke to the hospital so you knoe what to do.


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## juju81

Holly, wrap at the table.  Funnily enough my belly button and laparoscopy scar have been hurting the last couple of days.  Think she's moved up!

Hak, hugs lovely.  Early preg isn't all it's cracked up to be.  I'm 24wks and loving it now  

Carrie......?


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Carrie stretching pains is a good sign. TEST


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## amandaloo

Heckers you lot have been talking !

Carrie - sounds very positive can't wait to hear your news . I must be the only one who hasn't had stretching pains in my pg  !


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Amanda - you really would not wish for them. When I sneeze it feels like I have ripped my side open. It makes you catch your breath and have a little inner cry. I have never had it other than when pregnant - from day 1 virtually to after c-section healed.


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## northernmonkey

Amanda - I didn't have them either! 

Carrie - obviously a common symptom so sounds good.  Now, no pressure but it's my birthday today and so far the dog has peed all over the floor and dd#2 has been throwing up every 5 mins so I could really do with some good news Test please!

Ladies, could anyone give me some advice please. DD has a cold and she always gets really chesty with it. She was up at 4am with an awful coughing fit, really barking and breathless (croup??) We took her up to our bed and she settled down but as I say was throwing up every 5 mins from 7am until about 8.45. It was a lot of snot (sorry tmi)! and water - do you think it could just be from swapping it all overnight or more likely to be a bug? Have reserved a humidifier to collect from Argos today but not sure whether it would help....

Thanks for all your comments about my dad too. He's still in hospital, won't be coming out yet.  Can't even get in and out of a wheelchair for the loo without needing a nebuliser afterwards   The dr has said there's no need for us to go up at the moment (obviously couldn't with dd being ill anyway unless it was an emergency.) So we'll see how things go. 

Holly - our posts nearly crossed. You have my sympathy. I pulled muscles in my ribs from coughing when 8 months pg with dd#3 and it was agony just breathing. It really gets you down.


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## northernmonkey

My first post re dd should have read Swallowing not swapping!


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## juju81

NM, Noah's had croup a fair few times.  A humidifier will def help.  Vicks on her feet too! Could be all the snot she's swallowed, we've all I stinking colds and it making me feel sick


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

That is very frequent vomiting NM.
Can she keep any fluid down?

Could be that her mucus and swelling of throat is activating the gag reflex.

How long ago was her whooping cough vaccine - is she fully up to date?


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## juju81

I was going to say something really rude then about gag reflexes but think I'll stop   

I'm in bed.  Nicks taken Noah shopping and to his mums.  I'm knackered


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## northernmonkey

Holly - she wasn't keeping anything down but last vomited at 9.30 and is now tucking into some lunch and pretending she is The Little Mermaid! She is up to date with all her jabs. She often does vomit after her first drink of the day when she has a cold but it's normally just one or twice. I'm hoping your theory is correct and the rest of us don't come down with it....

Juju go on, spit it out (no pun intended)


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## juju81

Haha just that I know some 'mucus' that brings on the gag reflex


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I've got a hangover


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## carrie lou

Hi ladies, sorry not been on today, been at work   No news except continuing stretching pains all day and on and off nausea...


Definitely testing tomorrow.


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Carrie - best of luck tomorrow


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Well I have managed to wrap all the presents except C's as he was here.

Please tell me whinging is normal as I still feel like my brain is scrambled eggs.
He was asleep on a cushion in front of the fire when I started. So I got on with it. Then he woke up Mr Grumpy pants. Wanted a cuddle. Grizzled. Whinged. 
He thought cupcake cases were cakes and was begging for a cake ''poleeeeessse mummy, I want a cake, I want a cake now mummy.......'' Then I gave him a snow man biscuit which he ate half of and first his mouth hurts then ''its broken mummy'' ''please mend it, mend it nowwwww mummy'' Crying.
I was wrapping up one handed and wiping tears. I asked him to stop crying now please and explained that he can't eat a biscuit without it breaking   . To no avail.

I am worried for when the baby is here - what if he is like this every single day? Don't get me wrong he is gorgeous and fun and loving and good 95% of the day.


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## juju81

Totally normal. Noah whinges from the moment he gets up some days.  After a sleep (if he's left to sleep by daddy or nanny    ) he's always whinging.  He cried for 1.5hrs the other day when he was left to sleep


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## carrie lou

Aw Holly I'm sure it's normal. We have days like that too and yes he's often grumpy when he's just woken up. I often have to spend the first half hour after his nap glued to the sofa cuddling him until he snaps out of it   You're not alone. Remember a lot of these things are phases and will pass...eventually....


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## shelleysugar

Carrie - good luck for testing tomorrow - I will keep everything crossed for you xxx


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Yep all normal    We've got whinge city going on here at the moment. I'm glad to see Lucas isn't the only one that will not eat any sort of broken biscuit


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## carrie lou




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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Yeah Carrie I am up at nuts o'clock too and could not wait to hear.........              

Let this one be sticky     

Also for me    could be on her way any day - Full term today !


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## abcdefgh

Congratulations Carrie!    Absolutely delighted for you. Xx


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## juju81

Flipping knew it Carrie.  Those stretching pains are such a good sign.  . Enjoy it lovely  . You must be due August? Only because my sister told us t Christmas a few days after she found out  

Holly, yay.  I hit the 24wk milestone yesterday too.  

Shelley, read your diary.  It choked me up a bit when you told work   fab news on the scan and that's a fab nuchal measurement.  What's your due date?

Sorry tmi, I have got the thickest snot ever.  I'm struggling to breath my nose is so bunged up.  I don't think it's anything untoward ie sinusitis (?) but seriously how long does it last? I've had it a week tomorrow? I'm shattered because I'm not sleeping at night


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Carrie congrats chick      


Ju put your face over a bowl of steam


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Shelley just read your diary too    You've got your little one to enjoy Xmas with now. I was your stage at Xmas too. We bought a Xmas decoration for the baby to hang on the tree. We got it in libertys in London


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## northernmonkey

Carrie - yay!!!! Congratulations, what a fab early Christmas present. Delighted for you. 

Shelley - I don't think we've 'spoken' before. Hello!  I've just read your diary too and am so pleased that all is going well for you this pregnancy.  Enjoy the next 6 months and have a great Christmas. Your first Christmas as a mum is amazing but being pregnant and knowing that you will have a baby next Christmas was to me just as special and exciting. 

Holly - yep whingeing part and parcel of delightful toddlerhood. I think the most used phrases to dd#2 in our house are 'how do you say that nicely' and 'if you can't ask me nicely then I'm not answering you.' And they do actually work!


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Do they?? Not in this house


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## carrie lou

Thank you everyone   

NM, belated happy birthday   


Shelley, so pleased to hear everything is going well honey, you so deserve it   


Ju, yes I'm due very end of August, 29th by my calculations. Maybe it will hang on a few days and be a September baby though   


Stretching pains were one of the first signs in both my previous pregnancies so I was reasonably confident - but all the same my heart was pounding when I did the test at 3.30 this morning   


Des anyone have any tips for dealing with hitting   Zac is going through a terrible phase lately and today he whacked my dad hard across the face   I always take him away from the situation and tell him in no uncertain terms that it's not acceptable, hurts people, makes them sad etc etc etc. But I just don't seem to be getting through to him and it is starting to be really embarrassing.


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## juju81

Carrie, Noah went through a stage but only hitting me and nick.  Personally for me.....naughty step or taking a toy away...!  Sometimes and it is hard but you have to become harsh mummy to get the message across.  Taking one of Noah's trains away pretty much did the job here!!

Your clinic don't test hcg do they?  How's dH now?


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## juju81

Shizzer, I just ate a whole big bag of crisps!


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Carrie Lucas has always hit. Yes it's sooooo embarrassing. Especially when the kid he hits isn't a hitter so the other mum really hadn't got a clue and doesn't get that kids hit because they are trying to communicate something. 

I say no. It hurts etc and take him away. He doesn't give a sh1t!!   I started putting him in his room as nothing was getting through to him. I give Him a warning and If he does again he goes to his room. At soft play we go home if he hits more than once.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Good luck with that one. It's horrible when they hit. It's all normal tho.


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## amandaloo

Carrie - fantastic news so pleased for you      . My ds went through stage of hitting just me it wasn't nice he was lot younger And pulled my hair with intent too! He sometimes does it now . I threaten no tv that works and obviously saying no . 

Holly - yayyyy full term best of luck to you xx


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## northernmonkey

Carrie - dd#1 used to grab other kids faces and I dreaded taking her anywhere.  I would warn her before we went out that she would come home if she did it - and carried through the threat. Then one day at soft play she did it to the wrong child and he walloped her! I told her she had deserved it and she never did it again   A harsh lesson but hey ho!


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## juju81

"It's just a phase"    tey will grow out of it though.  My cousins little boy used to hit my niece ALL the time.  She used to avoid going anywhere with him because of his behaviour.  He's turned into the softest little 5yr old ever!

So I do have sinusitis! I'm on anti b's.  hopefully by Christmas Day ill be right as rain again


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## shelleysugar

Fantastic news Carrie                yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shelleysugar xxx


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## carrie lou

Thanks Shelley   


Thanks for all the hitting advice. I don't really do time out but feel this is a really important thing for him to learn, so at the least have been moving him to the corner away from what he was doing and giving him a stern talking to. It's not so bad when he hits me, I just withdraw my attention from him for a minute or two and he learns his lesson. But when he hits others, it's just mortifying   Hopefully it will pass soon!  


Re DH - oh dear, where do I start? We had such a row this morning. I worked a long shift yesterday so when I got home the house was in a right state, laundry basket overflowing and so on. Plus I have to finish wrapping presents, I'm working half day tomorrow so not much time to do all this, and on Christmas Eve we are leaving for two nights away with family - of course all the packing will be down to me and I haven't started yet. So first thing this morning I was making a start on the chores. DH realised we'd run out of coffee - it was as if the world was ending - he was like a bear with a sore head  He even took some paracetamol/caffeine combo he was so desperate for his hit - it was like a heroin addict, seriously. Finally he told me he was going in to town to get some coffee. I said fine but don't be long because I need your help here. Oh, he said, I thought I might go to a cafe and chill out for a bit   I said, I've got a better idea, why don't you stay and help me, we can get it done quicker then all go out together and celebrate our good news. He grudgingly agreed.


Then next thing I knew we were arguing about what time to leave on Christmas Eve. He wanted to set out first thing and get to his parents (3 hours away) by lunchtime. I said we'd be better off waiting until Zac is ready for his nap and leaving then so he will sleep at least part of the way. DH accused me of not wanting to spend time with his family - well who could blame me? - then suddenly he snapped and started roaring at me and smashing plates and bowls etc. Well I flipped and said I was leaving, grabbed my boy and a few bits and pieces and drove down to spend the day at my parents. I'm not having him behave like that in front of Zac. I told him if he does it again we won't be going just for the day   


I was so upset. This should have been such a happy day - it's the best news we've had in so long. But he spoilt it. Add to that we got stuck in traffic coming home this evening, they closed the motorway - a 50 minute journey took us 3 hours and Zac was sick in the car   Not the special day it should have been.


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Oh Carrie       

It sounds like your DH has some underlying issues. Is he worried about a new baby and the job situation? It must all be so worrying. Plus the donor issue. He may well still have some issues there that someone else can get his wife pregnant - I know my DH still has severe issues over this. May be your DH has not voiced it and some how feels inadequate at a deep level?
DH is being so horrid to me. There is no firm answers from him about whether is he is going to be at the birth or not. He has had to be relatively civil to me tonight as we have been at the in laws with step son, but I can see now we are alone it will revert to normal ignoring and snapping. My DH also never lifts a finger with the housework and in fact just makes more mess.

You just have to be happy for yourself and your son. You are getting what you want and if DH is along in a nice way then he can come. I am a pro at this [email protected]!

As for the hitting - C has had a few phases of hitting me. He used to hit me in the middle of the face and pull my hair when he was tired. I would put him on the naughty step immediately and say you do not hit mummy. Then it would stop for a while. 
Lately, I have had him sort of hitting me - it is not very hard, but he repeats his request over and over and then gives me a little tap. I hold his hands and say ''don't hit mummy, it is not nice. We don't hit, do we?''

I seriously hope social services do not hear the last couple of days - a few times when grumpy and tired or told no, C has been hitting me on my leg or the bump (quite gently really, but with meaning) and he has said ''don't hit me'' each slap. I have been ignoring and saying no to the original request e.g. I want icecream (at breakfast time). He has then thrown himself on the floor having a crying tantrum and said ''don't hit me'', then come for a cuddle still saying ''don't hit me''...... I haven't hit him...... I wonder what social services would say if someone reported this?


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly ds1 says that to me.   He also says don't shout.   which he's probably right.   try not to say the hit word as they focus on that and do it even more. Try to say no, hands are for stroking. It's hard in the heat of the moment. 

Carrie   oh hun what a nightmare. I can't believe you're staying with his parents.   What did your parents say about it?


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## juju81

Oh Carrie what a ****e day.  Like you say, one that should be a really happy one.  What is wrong with these men   could it be the donor thing? Or more the stress of work/money? Nick goes unbelievably sulky when he's worried about money.  

Holly, does your DH not see this baby as his? I can't believe he'd even not want to be at the birth. It's really sad


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Ju - He has said that ''we cannot do anything about a divorce until after you have had your baby''

He is so so so rude to me ALL that flipping time now. I have had two interactions with him this morning - one for him to shout at me about a metal toy car being downstairs of his - there are hundreds of toy cars in this house - how do I know which are ''precious''. If they are that precious he should look after them and put them in a box out of C's sight.

And I only went up there to put his net curtain back on his window. I was struggling and I said to him that he could help me - he snapped back with '' yes I could but you didn't bloody ask me did you?''. I spent about 1 hour of my precious maternity leave cleaning that bloody window of all the condensation and mould last week. I put plastic trays and sorted/ tidied all his crap up when I was this pregnant with C, 2.5 years ago in the hope he would chuck stuff or put stuff away. He has left it all that time and consequently the window sill, window and curtain were disgusting. I have been in there and cleaned - no thank you, just nasty. He still has not changed his bedding since 

The other night he went to get something from the supermarket at 10pm and then had a massive go at me about not thanking him. He has never many times thanked me for going to the supermarket, cooking, doing his washing, cleaning up after him all the time for 14 years. Not to mention keeping him and paying all the bills etc.

I went to the supermarket last night to get the Christmas food shop at 3.30am (much better when you are awake anyway as shop is empty and fully stocked) - I won't be thanked for this or given any money.

I told him he was so rude - and he just said I don't think so.

I don't think I want him at the birth of my precious daughter. He has just presented me with a credit card bill to pay that involves £140 to Eurostar to go camping 21 days after she is born (he announced this trip last night) when I will have a toddler and a new born and will probably not be recovered from my operation yet.
He does not care one little bit about me. He makes me totally sick. It just gets worse and worse and worse.

Yes I am sad.


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## juju81

you've got goo grounds there for divorce on totally unreasonable behaviour.  Is the credit card bill in both your names? If not, you really need to stop paying his bills.  Who the frock does he think he is.  What does he do with his wages?  Has he always been like this?  Big big hugs. You need to get him out.  I just don't know how you would it.  He must have a stash of money if he's not paying a penny towards your house? Does C have a good relationship with him? Is he hands on with C?


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## juju81

He's mentally abusing you lovely.  You need to speak to someone.  If this was your best friend going through it, why would you be telling her?


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## northernmonkey

Holly - juju is right, it is abuse. He is a bully and certainly not someone I would be happy to have living in the same house as my children. Your son will grow up thinking it is acceptable to treat women that way and both children will feel unloved by him and unfortunately no matter how much you try to compensate for that it will damage them. And I speak from experience. Do them a favour and get rid of him. Speak to Refuge and get some professional advice. Start the New Year by showing him the door.


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## amandaloo

Holly- I agree with the others    

Carrie-    oh no what a day you had    I hope he's apologised ?

Been for scan and nurse consultation . I've ended up paying another 700 fee today as they have a time lapse imaging machine . I didn't realise they had it at the clinic though it was just Liverpool . We thought we should have it as it increases chances of pg . At the end of the day this is our last ivf so why not give ourselves the best chance . I'm now skint! Really hope it's our turn soon     . Embryo transfer looking like 17th feb at mo .


----------



## juju81

Amanda, what's a time lapse machine? Did you get your AMH back? This is your turn hun.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly


----------



## amandaloo

Juju- it's an embryoscope http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2291735/EmbryoScope-New-IVF-technology-helps-couples-conceive-24-7-embryo-monitoring.html

/links


----------



## amandaloo

Juju - I realised that's not the best link I could have sent you !


----------



## amandaloo

Embryoscope.co.uk better site

/links


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Thanks - I do know, I just don't know how to get free without losing £1000s. I have a lot of savings and this house is heavily invested by me. I have 20 years of NHS pension. He is going to fleece me having done sod all for 14 years - he just expects it all to come to him, for his servants to serve him.

C seems very keen on Daddy, despite never having much care from him. He always wants to see Daddy, play with Daddy, see Daddy's car (which he has never been allowed in). Daddy plays cars with him quite a lot. 
DH always seems to act a bit more hands on and a bit more civil when his family are about. Step son, MIL and FIL and now the BIL and SIL here from Aus. And the moment we are back in the house alone he starts his nasty ways again.

I spent £140 in the supermarket last night as I said, and this morning he opened the packed fridge and said he would have to go shopping as there was ''nothing to eat''. No thank you for going out in the middle of the night to shop.    

I had antenatal today and baby doing great. Everyone seems to be saying my bump is small and neat. Sometimes I don't feel pregnant, other times huge. Baby bump is measuring 36cm at 37 weeks so is fine and head is now 4/5ths engaged. I had a lot of uncomfortable pains in my pelvis last night and down my leg and I am sure being busy with Christmas and walking about at 3.30am is moving her down. I hope I don't go into labour early, as then I don't have anything set up for care of C or person to come with me. She was only 1/5th engaged 4 days ago. The midwife today said not to worry the head may bob in and out of the pelvis at this stage.


----------



## juju81

That why you need to get professional advice hun, they can advise you.  I don't know anything but surely if he's paid nothing then he can't get anything? You can have the beneficiary on your pension can you not? When I ha the forms to complete it said you could change when you needed/wanted too.  I think we've said before, surely getting out now and losing money is better in the long run.  The longer your with this human, the longer he has to be entitled to things? You need to try and rest up a bit, I went into labour early then my due date with Noah being engaged at 37wks!

Amanda, ooooh that's interesting.    They have amazing advances all the time don't they!


----------



## northernmonkey

Holly - get some legal advice. Go to CAB, don't let him trap you over money. You and your children are worth more than that.  Of course he'll behave in front of others - he makes sure the abuse isn't seen by anyone else. Start making records of everything he does so you have a good case against him. Does he ask how you get on at your appts? 
With regards to baby 4/5 engaged ??!! Mine never got to that before I went into labour. Can your in laws not look after Charley if you had to go in earlier? 

Amanda - I had to chuckle at the time lapse machine - sounds like something off dr who! I haven't looked at the website yet, will take a peek later. What an exciting start to the New Year - definitely your time now.


----------



## northernmonkey

Ju our posts crossed! How early were you with Noah? Will you be trying water birth again this time or will you just see what happens?


----------



## juju81

Waters went at 39wks had him at 39+1 so not massively early.  The water didn't help with my pain because of my spd (pain was in my pelvis bone) I might try it again.  I've been thinking about the birth again today.  I'm a bit scared.  Other days I get quite excited by the thought.  If it progresses 'normally' (was reallllllyyyyyy slow to dilate with noah) I'd quite like to just stay as mobile as possible.  We'll see.  I did think earlier that end of jan I need to start getting a hospital bag together.  Got to sort one out for Noah too.  Obviously had no one else to worry about last time   a girl in my due date thread had twins 2 days ago at 27wks


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Juju - I have not packed my hospital bag yet   

I have got the moses basket out and removed the bedding for washing and basically put almost everything I think I need in the moses basket as I have found it on my travels, but not actually zipped up my suitcase yet. It would not take long (I am not that silly). All the newborn clothes, lots of pink, but some neutral just in case, are washed and dried and sorted. I have stacks of tiny   nappies, new PJs and new big cotton pants for the c-section scar, pads of various descriptions, baby bottles all washed and sterilised twice (although I would sterilise again before feeding with them), formula cartons (I will try breast feeding again but won't listen this time if this baby is not feeding well and they are insisting all is well, combination feeding worked well last time in the end and I can't afford for this baby to get jaundiced and on SCBU as I don't have limitless care for C). Can't really pack the toiletries, phone charger or hair straighteners now as using them daily. Got a new blanket for the car seat a the baby show and just got to sort out the car seat infant bit.

Got to sort C's bag, but he is wearing a lot of the clothes. I have a lot of short sleeved tops for him that are no good in this weather, so the long sleeve ones are in and out of the washer and drier to keep on top of them so I have something to pack for him. Same with PJs and sleep suits - they are in use. I have stocked up with nappies and wipes.


----------



## juju81

Ah your pretty much sorted then.  To be honest, I think Noah's bits will b a case of nearer the time chucking some clothes in a bag.  If its the middle on the night, someone will come to us.  I think.  Or nik will drop him at someone's (depends what day of the week!) Nicks starting the nursery in January.  My new pram chassis will be coming in January too.  When we got our down the chassis was broken so nicks mum ordered us a new one!  Ahhh it's is exciting.  Can't wait.  Can't wait to hear your news and what you've named her too.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I've just made enough biscuits for the whole road


----------



## northernmonkey

When I had dd #2 and # 3 we had the in laws lined up to babysit (didn't need them for #2 of course with her being a home birth) and I told them they had to stay at mine. So I didn't have to bother with a bag for dd. I'm sure they must have thought I was a cheeky cow telling them they had to stay at our house but they have a horrible viscious dog so there's no way I'll let my kids over there! 

It's crazy but I'm kind of envious (in a nice way!) listening to the pregnancy chat. There's no way I could cope with another baby - I'm worn out physically and mentally and if I'm honest I really striuggle most days - but I still feel sad that I'll never be pregnant or give birth again. I hope that doesn't make me sound ungrateful - I'm well aware of how lucky I am to have my girls but I loved being pregnant.  I'll just have to enjoy everyone else's on here instead!

Mini - oh yum, what kind??

We're having a nightmare. Our last 3 Christmases have been write offs with one thing and another and this year we were hoping that it might be ok. Well I went up to our bedroom at tea time to find water dripping through the ceiling. Flippin roof is leaking!!! We won't get anyone out to look at it tomorrow because its forecast to be really windy so I'm praying it doesn't rain much until after Christmas.... And we're trying to sell the damn house so it couldn't have happened at a worse time.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Oh no NM. Can you get someone to go in the loft and check how much water is coming through and put a bucket if possible? Is there a tile blown off in the wind?

My friend had a pipe leaking in the kitchen ceiling recently and she did not know until she came down one morning to ceiling debris all over the floor.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Made shortbread with some orange in them. They are presents for a couple of people  

Mil stayed at our house when I went into labour with number 2. I think it helps them with not feeling scared and 'mummy has left me' kind of feeling.


----------



## carrie lou

NM, oh what no disaster   I hope you can get it sorted and that it doesn't interfere with your enjoying Christmas   


Mini I also made biscuits, gingerbread ones, with Zac's help   Turned out about twice as many as we actually need to give as presents - so lots left for us to quality test   


Holly, you sound pretty organised   Can't believe your LO is 4/5 engaged - I don't think Zac got that far before I was induced   


AFM, well I can feel the craziness setting in. I did another test this morning to see if the line was darker   And I'm analysing every little symptom trying to reassure myself that this bean is a sticky one. I promised myself I was going to enjoy this pregnancy but it's really hard. 


Thanks for your comments on DH. He says he is thrilled about the baby so I don't think it's that. Tbh I think he is just miffed that I won't make more of an effort with his family. He knows he chose me over them and I am his priority, but I think he wants to have his cake and eat it - I.e. To be married to me and still have a good relationship with his parents. But that is never going to happen and it's entirely their fault - they have certainly not made it easy for me and I refuse to sit with them and make small talk and pretend we're happy families, because I know what they think of me underneath it all. 


If it were up to me we wouldn't be seeing them at all but DH insisted. So we are staying at theirs tonight (I will go to bed when Zac does!) and driving up to my sister's in London for Christmas dinner tomorrow. What DH doesn't understand is that for me, being in their house and eating a meal with them is as much as I can bear. It is already a massive compromise on my part, but he just keeps pushing for more and I can't give any more.


----------



## juju81

NM, no, I can totally understand. That's kind of how I felt before we decided to have more treatment! Hope you get your leak sorted  

Carrie, I don't particularly like my inlaws and we have them over to us this year.  I just keep thinking at least next year I'm back with my family an a new baby! Try and think the same hun  

Re people staying at ours, to be honest it's actually easier if Noah goes to them.  My mum doesn't drive anymore (my dads banned her from driving his car again after she crashed it last month) and my sister has 2 that she'll need to sort or school an she can then take Noah with her (he's at the nursery) if its the weekend, he'll love it anyway, he loves staying there.  I'm not saying he won't be affected but he is older, he'll be 4, and understands a bit more.  In fact he'll
Probably drive them all nuts keep asking if she's here yet


----------



## carrie lou

Hi everyone, I might not get a chance to post later so I just wanted to wish you all a very happy Christmas. As you know the last year has been very horrible for me and I could not have got through it without your support. I just want to thank you all and tell you how amazing you all are. 


Wishing all of us lots of joy and happiness in 2014


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

The craziness has started in the house     lots of tears and tantrums and that's just me  

Happy Xmas everyone


----------



## northernmonkey

Ha ha! Happy Christmas everyone!

I'm off to read The Night Before Christmas to the girls then will be cracking open the Baileys   This time last year dd#3 was a week overdue!


----------



## teresal

Hi all, I know I'm never on here now but it doesn't mean I don't think about you all.
I just wanted to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and hope that all your little ones get what they have been asking for
  

xxxx


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## amandaloo

Phew just sat down been on a late shift . Merry Christmas everybody xxxxxx


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Pink Cat that sounds horrendous     
Milton will kill all the germs.

I am on count down to scary and exciting times. 6 days to go -eeeek!


----------



## shelleysugar

Best of luck Holly - definitely exciting times    
Shelleysugar xxx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ooh pink cat how awful.   Glad you're better......... Haggis  

Holly wow exciting! Had dh decided on the birth yet??


----------



## northernmonkey

Hello all, hope everyone had a good Christmas. 

Pinkcat - you poor things, what awful timing. Even worse for you being pregnant aswell. Hope you're all feeling back to normal soon. No experience of the belts here sorry. 

Holly - 6 days! You must be soooo excited. I saw one of your other posts that your dad was coming to stay with you for Christmas. Hope you've been able to put your feet up a little.   

AFM - dd#3 is going to be 1 tomorrow!!!! I can't believe it, that year has gone so quickly and I feel a bit sad that my last baby is soon going to be a toddler   Got to look forward to life becoming a bit easier though! Right, off to make a birthday cake now.


----------



## juju81

Pinkcat.  Totally rotten lovely.  We've all been poorly over Christmas too.  I finished my anti b's yesterday thank god!

Holly! Wowsers  

NM, nah, she's still a baby hun! Bless her.  A year ago.  I don't think I referred to Noah as a toddler until at least 2


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## carrie lou

Pinkcat, so sorry you've been ill - tummy bugs are the worst   I suffered with back pain from about 20 weeks onwards when pg with Zac. I got a support belt and the difference it made was amazing. Definitely worth a try. Hope it improves for you soon  


Holly, can't believe you are counting down the days now - exciting times   


NM   to DD3! And yes she is still a baby   


Hope everyone else is well. I've been at work all day, DH looking after Zac, and I've just arrived home to find they have managed to lose the only winter coat that fits him properly   Apparently it got thrown off a bus?! Wouldn't have happened if I'd been in charge! So guess what we're doing tomorrow - yep, coat shopping


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Yes Dad came to stay. Distress rant coming ........ It was Ok for the first couple of days. He seemed to enjoy it. The last bit he seriously deteriorated mentally and slept constantly, hallucinated in his sleep and then woke up and insisted all sorts of weirdness.
Last night was really horrible. We were all up really late inc C. I took him to bed and Dad had been sleeping in the chair downstairs anyway the previous night. After a while Dad is upstairs looking in all the rooms looking for some sweets (he sucks sweets for a dry mouth). I told him it was 1.30am and he should go to bed. He said 1.30 and dark - no it was not. I told him 1.30 am. 
I remembered some sweets were in the car, so I said stay there I will get some. C was hysterical as all this woke him up again, that I went outside. Then I came up and shut the stair gates and thought Dad would go to bed as he was upstairs. There was only one light on in the house - the one in his room.
Next thing I hear is the sound of the stairgate being pulled off the wall downstairs - he has gone back down in the dark for no reason and tripped on the gate. Luckily not injured.
I told him to go back upstairs and go to bed. He started saying all sorts of weird stuff about not being told anything and strange blokes my DH knows coming in to the house and telling him to push off.

I got him back upstairs. Thought he was in bed - there is another crash and he has pulled a load of boxes over in the spare bedroom. So I am up again. C hysterical again.

Then we get some sleep. Heard Dad get up a couple of hours later and is crashing about in the bathroom. Then I hear the stair gate open at the top of the stairs again. I leapt from bed and grabbed his arm. I asked him where he was going in PJs, no glasses on,  in the dark and he said that I had told him to go downstairs and shut the front door as it is wide open. I had to very firmly tell him to get back up the stairs, the door was firmly locked shut, and that he should go back to bed as it is night time.

Then DH took him back home today to discover the pressure in the boiler has gone below critical while he has been away and there is no heating and hot water and my DH does not know how to fix it (even though I told him where instructions are and where a plumber lives opposite and there are on line videos).
Just leaves him in a cold house at 84 years old and said he hoped it would come on in the evening and Dad would just have to suffer! He was rushing to see a friend, who he won't tell me who it is and who he wrapped a present for last night. A girlfriend no doubt. I asked who it was and I was met with ''you won't let me have any friends'' I just don't understand why he is so secretive if it is nothing to be concerned about.

If the pressure is too low on boiler it needs refilling by following the instructions otherwise it will not work. I felt so hopeless being here and Dad being in a hypothermic house. Had to call care agency and get them to put the panel and blow heaters on for tonight - just hope Dad does not manage to set the house on fire. Trying to get hold of a friend, but not managing. Not sure how I am going to fix this tomorrow. Can't leave him without any safe heat for potentially weeks in the snow. Needs fixing in next day or so.


----------



## juju81

Oh blimey holly, sounds like my BIL's dad   do you have any siblings? As for DH    weird!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly did you contact Social service again? He's not safe on his own


----------



## northernmonkey

Holly -    Seriously, how are you staying sane? I really feel for you. You should be enjoying the last few days of your pregnancy, not having to deal with all this on your own. With regards to your dad, I know you don't want him to lose all he has worked for but it doesn't sound as though he is safe to be alone anymore. For both your sakes think about residential care for him.  He's not only a danger to himself but also vulnerable to all sorts of scumbags out there. My grandad and uncle were both victim to conmen who tricked their way into their flats in London and robbed them ( uncle has learning difficulties.) DH's grandad had dementia before he died and his daughter called at his house one day to find a local drunk asleep on the sofa! Turns out grandad had invited him to stay but couldn't remember! Just imagine what a weight off your mind it would be knowing that your dad is safe.  As for your dh - what a horrible piece of work. I don't know how you can even look at him anymore. He's a twisted piece of work to be able to say that about your dad. I really hope you find the strength to get rid of him soon.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

To be fair DH has just called back in on Dad and is there right now trying to fix things on his way back.  he can.

I agree, he is getting less and less safe to be there alone. But I really am the ONLY person he has to sort things out properly and I am just about to have a newborn. I am an only child and there are no other relatives who can help really. One cousin in her early 70s comes over once a month the last 2 months to test his life alarm button and make tea. She says there is nothing wrong with his memory!

If I call social services I wonder what will happen? They might want me there to answer questions. I can't, not now. They might want me there to sort out the house if they put him into a residential home right away. How can I do that? I am not round the corner, I am 60 miles away.

He has been out of his environment for a few days (perhaps it was a big mistake to take him for Christmas, but I thought it might be the last one he can sort of join in with for C's benefit) and is now extra cognitively impaired as a result. This may or may not improve over the next few days as he settles back in.

I don't know how I am sane. I feel very alone, worried and frightened, I know that much.

DH just texted to say he has got boiler on.


----------



## northernmonkey

Holly - imagine that you are your dad in years to come and only one of your children is geographically close enough to look after you.  I bet it breaks your heart to imagine your child going through what you are going through. I'm sure your dad wouldn't want you to putting yourself through it all either. Don't think about what ifs with the Social Services. Just call them. You are going to have enough to deal with with a new baby in a weeks time. Start the ball rolling now - it is best for your dad, your children and not least, you.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly ss main priority is to make sure he is safe and not a risk to himself. Please ring them on Monday. Explain everything. They have a duty to make sure he is ok


----------



## amandaloo

Holly- you must ring SS they will help you and your dad . Your putting yourself under more pressure thinking you can deal with it all    . It's impossible  . Just give them a call . Xxx


----------



## hakunamatata

Morning my wonderful donor friends, hope you all had a dsntastuc Christmas.  Poor holly you sound like you need a holiday to get over yours  hope you managed to get uour dad some support. 

Pinkcat how awful you all being ill, no fun at all. Sorry to hear youre suffering with your back. My shooting spd pains are not good esp when moving on or getting off sofa. Are you on ** so we can have more twinny chat?

Well we tried the nughtmare of buggy shopping. My word theres not a lot of choice. The buggy pod only fits on certain pushchairs and basically makes it a triple and the maclsren double I tried was ok but not like the city jogger select which wss a lot more maneuveable but could only have a buggy board. Addi did love the buggy board but she had to stretch to hold on and I wonder if the novelty would wear off and tiredness after poss journey and playdate are an issue. We bought a buggy board for us yo practice with. Even thi the buggy is in the sale I want to get to 30 weeks before I purchase thst. I also thought I could carry the sling with mefor times when addi too tired she can jump in buggy and put a twin in sling.


----------



## hakunamatata

We will see.

We heard both heartbeats yest which was a relief.  Im 17 wks tomorrow.  In still feeling and being sick but ah well it must get easier eventually. Will be a nice quiet new year. X wishing you all a goodun.
Nearly firgit to say yippee and congratulations to carrie midt wonderful news. Amanda next. X 

Sorry about all typos on mobile in bed catching moments peace but might get dressed and walk dog. Its wet but nice to get out x .


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

What pram does the pod fit on?


----------



## juju81

17wks already! Blimey Hak, where has that flown too. You might overtake me lol!  Will you find out the sex? My friend has that issue with her 2yr old and twins, her little girl gets tired then demands to be carried.  The sling isn't a bad idea.  

Happy new year to you all....bring on 2014


----------



## northernmonkey

Hak -wow, almost half way there! How often are you scanned with twins? 

Holly - how are you? Did you get in touch with ss? 

I've been to see the new Disney film Frozen at cinema today with the girls. Was fab! Am now sat outside baby's room doing controlled crying cos she's got into the habit of falling asleep on her milk and has forgotten how to get herself off to sleep. Oh wow, just been back in after 2 mins, laid her down and she's gone quiet. Hoorah!!!! WAsnt expecting her to go off that easily.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

2 more sleeps...........


----------



## amandaloo

Best of luck Holly xx


----------



## northernmonkey

Happy New Year everyone!

Holly are you having baby on 3rd? I thought it was the 6th for some reason.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Yes 2 more sleeps. Day after tomorrow - in fact about 36 hours or so........ eeek!

I feel like it is happening to someone else.


----------



## northernmonkey

Pinkcat - what's a VIP member sponsor?


holly - aah, if you're anything like I was you'll be looking at those tiny nappies and baby clothes in your hospital bag in disbelief that you'll be dressing someone in them in a couple of days.    So exciting knowing that you will be meeting your baby girl soon. Good luck!


----------



## juju81

Aww will be thinking of you Holly.  Hope it's not to stressful afterwards and DH steps up to the plate    can't wait to hear your news   


NM, how was bed time today? I'm all for a bit of CC!


----------



## carrie lou

Good luck Holly hun, hope it all goes smoothly


----------



## northernmonkey

Tonight was great! I've only had to do the cc twice - the first time was about a week ago. She cried for 5 mins (and I know her cries now - it was actually her tantrum scream rather than sad crying!) went in, laid her down and told her it was bedtime, left her another 2 mins, did the same again and she went to sleep. She fell asleep on the boob every sleep since then apart from yesterday when i had to do it again and I only had to go back once to lay her back down. Tonight she cried for maybe 5 seconds when i was leaving the bedroom then went to sleep. The problem is she'd started waking up through night and needing a feed to get back to sleep then she ended up in our bed a few times so I decided to nip it in the bud. I think it's worked quickly because she's always been a good sleeper previously. And she and I are both much happier now that we're getting a full nights sleep!


----------



## northernmonkey

Ps juju how was your New Years break?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Nm ds2 is like that. I only had to do sleep training once with him couldn't believe it. I got to know his cries really quickly so made it easier. He was ill a few weeks ago and ended up in our bed then it carried on and would wake up at 5 every morning demanding our bed so I had to leave him in the end. It worked tho.


----------



## juju81

Best of luck today Holly, thinking of you and can't wait to hear of her arrival


----------



## juju81

NM, got back yesterday from Dorset. New year was fab.  Already booked for next year


----------



## carrie lou

Juju, I love Dorset   Whereabouts where you?  


Thinking of Holly today, it's so exciting     


Anyone heard from Marge lately? I was just thinking of her and wondering how she's getting on   


AFM, 6 weeks today and the sickness is here      I never EVER thought I'd be pleased to feel like this again but it's helping me to believe this little one might just be sticking around  I haven't actually been sick yet but very queasy and relying heavily on cheese and onion crisps to get me through the mornings


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Good luck holly


----------



## juju81

Hooray for the sickness   when is your scan?

I've not heard from Marge.  I know he suffered sickness bad, hope its not too bad  

We stayed at Warmwell Holiday Park near wareham.  Lodges, dry ski slope.  We've been going since I was 12 on and off for new year eve   and its really weird that we are now going with our children.  Love it, but like you I like all of dorset.  We spent all out childhood summer holidays down there.  I have very fond memories  

I'm starting to struggle to get comfy in bed.  My hips ache when I wake up. Did anyone use a proper pregnancy sleep support? I've got a pillow at the mo but its just not doing anything now!


----------



## amandaloo

Holly - good luck thinking of you . Be looking forward to your birth story 

Juju- I tried one if them pillows I ended up not using it couldn't get used to it so gave it back to friend . 

Carrie - I can imagine the sickness is a relief xx

Afm- booked for the endometrial scratch next fri   no drugs or sedation help !! Well ill let you know . Meds coming on 13th jan starting them on 15th I'm excited


----------



## carrie lou

Sounds great Juju  We are thinking of booking a holiday once I'm through the first trimester ickiness  We haven't been anywhere for ages. I'm thinking maybe Centreparcs, Zac would love it.

I used a widgey pillow when pregnant with Zac but still struggled towards the end. Tbh I used to just get all the pillows I could find, make a sort of nest with them and collapse into it  

Yes I remember Marge got bad sickness - hope she is coping with two little ones as well  


Amanda, exciting times! good luck for the scratch


----------



## juju81

Wow not long at all Amanda. Maybe I'll try a thicker pillow and use 2


----------



## amandaloo

Juju - I'd defiantly ask if a friend has one first before you purchase one I'm
Glad I didn't buy one but everybody is different and I've heard some ppl loved it


----------



## northernmonkey

Juju - I had a nursing pillow, not sure if that's the same thing? I used it during pregnancy and would rest my bump and one leg on it in bed which really helped with sore hips. With dd#3 it wasn't as effective towards the end but then she was a whopper ha ha! I still use it now to sit up with if I read in bed so was well worth the money.

Holly - can't wait to hear from you. Hope yesterday went well and that you and your baby girl are doing well.


----------



## hakunamatata

Wow holly cant wait to hear the news.

Im scsnned every 4 wks from 20wks, looking forwsrd to kniwing theyre ok and sex. Gained 11 pounds now, 3 over christmas naughty me. Have ti eat through nsusea and love of chocolate has returned.

Oh Amanda all go soon.

Carrie glad youre getting thr reassurance you need. X 

Love to all.


----------



## juju81

Holly, been thinking of you! Hope everything is well and your snuggling with your baby girl   how's C and hubby been?

Hi everyone else.  27wks nearly   how did that happen! Last trimester soon


----------



## margesimpson

Hi all,

Sorry no personals, but not been well enough to keep up.  Really  suffering with the "morning sickness" or rather 24/7 incapacitating nausea and dizziness again. I'm sick every time I try to move off the sofa and just trying avoid being admitted for a drip. 

Anyway, turns out that number three has a twin! So from a family of two, we'll become a family of four! We're still in shock and can only share it on here at this stage. Everyone else will think we're mad.

I thought id be more excited but everything is so overwhelmed by the sickness that I already feel like a terrible mother to the two we have and that I'm not coping : ( so its more panic than excitement at the moment! 

Anyway - all the best to you lovely ladies,
Mx


----------



## juju81

Wow Marge.....bet you never in your wildest dreams think you'd ever be a family of 4. Wonderful news.  As with feeling rough and feeling guilty.  I know how you feel (Altho not the sickness, poor you) but feeling guilty.  I found myself snapping at Noah over silly things and not having much time for him through the tiredness.  He picked up on it too    I said to DH the other day we really have to try and not take our tiredness out on him again.  Luckily he's at nursery every morning and 3 days a week goes to the childminder and will continue to do so before he starts school in September    so it will give me the chance to sleep like when I had Noah (well doze if she'll let me)


When are you due? How far now?


----------



## carrie lou

Marge, wow twins!!!! That's amazing   


I really feel for you with the sickness. It is just starting for me and already I'm struggling to keep up with Zac. We didn't leave the house today, I have just been concentrating on controlling the nausea and getting through the day   How far along are you now?  I hope it eases for you soon


----------



## Fizzypop

Oh wow marge that is amazing. All the twinnies on the board now! I remember your HCG being high like hak's and you saying twins were rare on the medication you had. Can just imagine how shocked you both would have been at the scan!!!


----------



## margesimpson

Thanks so much for your enthusiasm, it reminds me how exciting and amazing this news really is! I jus feel,so awful at the moment and feel such a mess up and failure it's hard to think ill ever be able to cope with this. I can't help thinking back to hak and your fears - how do you feel now? Any advice?


Carrielou - so so pleased that your pregnant but the sickness is should destroying isn't it?


Love and hugs - you girls make me think anything is possible! Xxxx


----------



## carrie lou

Aw sweetheart, you are not a failure! you are an inspiration! I've always wanted three children and get depressed sometimes thinking it may never be possible. But to see someone like you having FOUR gives me hope!  Follow your dreams and don't let this blasted infertility get in the way!  I know the sickness is awful. But it will end and you will be left with TWO beautiful babies to show for it.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

thats amazing news marge    you're certainly not a failure


----------



## hakunamatata

Hey hun ive adjusted now really. I still know its going to be hard but dont feel so overwhelmed and tearful. 

The sickness is still bad this end but its given me hope that pinkcats has now gone. my new worry is getting them here safe.  X 

Always here if you need a chat hun. X


----------



## abcdefgh

Happy New Year everyone (sorry a bit late!)

Mistletoe - Thinking of you. Hope everything went well with the birth and you're having a lovely time cuddling your little girl. 

Amanda - Best of luck for that new year BFP! 

Carrie - Sorry you're feeling rough too. Hope the sickness doesn't last too long. When is your first scan?

Wow, lots of bumps on here now!

AFM - I am 16+1 and we found out yesterday we are having another little girl. I am very happy (would have been either way) but DH is a little disappointed   but hopefully he'll come round. At the 12 week appointment we got recruited into a study into whether 3D scans are better predictors of birth weight and size so we are getting four extra 3D scans for free!  We feel very lucky. The two women there yesterday were very nice and the experience is all a bit more relaxed and friendly than in the routine scanning department where you are just one couple in a massive queue. 

Love to all xx


----------



## juju81

Another girly, how lovely   I love having sisters I really do


----------



## juju81

Lucky you with all those scans.  when do you get them? I'm dying to see this little one again and they had a groupon deal for a cheap 4D scan but they just freak me out too much!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

oh go on Ju have one done.   


ABC congrats hun. 2 girls will be lovely.    they'll be there for each other. and will be wrapped around daddys little finger!   


I'm glad I've got 2 boys. They play with each other but DS2 is become an annoying little brother


----------



## juju81

Pinkcat I reckon you'll have 2  girls!

Minx, I can't afford it and I actually want to leave seeing her face to when I hold her!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

i know someone else that is having twins. she's due any day. she already has a boy. so many twins about. she didn't have fertility tx either. Its funny you all had IUI     (i think?)


I know that i'll be left to go shopping on my own once they are older    I hope i don't feel a bit lonely when they don't want to do stuff that their old mum does.     It would be nice going shopping for the day with a daughter and getting a manicure or something done. Never mind i'll just have to go for a pint with the boys instead


----------



## northernmonkey

Marge - wow, twins, how cool!!!  Are they identical ??  Amazing news, well done you!! 
I always wanted 4 and you've made me even broodier than I have been feeling over the last couple of weeks (no more for me though before anyone asks!) Hope the sickness passes for you soon.  

Ju - 27 weeks - yes how DID that happen?? 

ABC - congratulations on team pink. Needless to say girls get the thumbs up from me. If I'd had any more babies I would've still loved more girls.

Carrie - you're only young, you'll easily manage 3.  

Holly - hope all is going well, can't wait to hear from you! 

Mini - my sister has two older boys and still gets to go shopping with them!


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Posting quick on phone. Still on scbu. Little lady born friday. Mystery as was shocked, acidotic and  anaemic at birth. Looks like she lost blood to placenta. Has had every other test all negative. Bit scary. Now trying to get feeding established. Doing well. So pretty and hardly cries. Post more when home.


----------



## hakunamatata

Oh bless you holly hope youre getting the support with charlie and youre getting some rest after your section. Ah a pretty girlie, makes me feel all warm inside. Enjoy it hun and hope youre home soon.


----------



## carrie lou

Ah Holly, been thinking of you Hun. Glad she is doing well now. I hope you get to take her home really soon


----------



## juju81

Minx, you won't get any of the hormonal pre teen strops tho! My niece is awful  

I know I'm really lucky to be having one of each.  It will be nice to experience what comes with both boys and girls.  I'd have been just as happy with another boy. Noah drives me to distraction somedays but I love his boy ways  

Holly, oh no! Congratulations tho hun, rest up x


----------



## Lindz

Congratulations Holly! Sorry to hear your little girl needed SCNU but great that she's doing well and tests are negative. Hope you are ok too and are getting help and support!

Hi everyone else and congrats on all the new BFPs and twinnies! I do like having one of each but the bond of same sex siblings is really special and I sometimes think its a shame they won't have that. I could only solve that by having two more though! My sisters TTC at the moment and is starting to worry a bit as it's coming up to a year. She's put a ban on us trying again as "it's her turn"   . DH already has his own ban in place so she doesn't have to worry.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly congrats   hope you get home soon.   We need a name  

Lindz would You have more then?? 

Ds2 is a mummy's boy so he might come shopping with me!


----------



## amandaloo

Holly- many congratulations your little baby girl sounds perfect xxxx

Marge- OMG wowwww you must be shocked   and happy too  

Lots of good news in here at moment . I really hope I get some soon too


----------



## shelleysugar

Congratulations Holly - a lovely little girl.  I hope you get the all clear and get to take her home soon. Shelleysugar x


----------



## juju81

Carrie, how did your scan go?


----------



## carrie lou

Great   Baby No. Two has a heartbeat and is measuring just two days behind. I'm very relieved


----------



## juju81

excellent news   when is your next one? 12wks?


----------



## carrie lou

Yes, 12 weeks... Seems like a long way off now! But I have MW appointment next week so that's something to fill the space I suppose


----------



## juju81

I wangled one at 9wks at our local epau because i couldn't wait and got anxious.  Feels like a lifetime ago.  It will go quick, honestly x


----------



## carrie lou

Yeah I can't believe I'm 7 weeks tomorrow - think it seems to have flown by cos Christmas was in between


----------



## juju81

Christmas was a great break! I'm 27wks Saturday and have 27working days left


----------



## northernmonkey

Carrie - for a second there when I read baby two I thought you were announcing another set of twins!! Congratulations on your scan.


----------



## carrie lou

Haha! No there's definitely only one in there  We're just calling it Baby Two


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie - wonderful news on your scan    time does go so quick doesn't it 

Been for endometrial scratch . Didn't hurt   good news I suppose lol  . But bad news is that I can't start my drugs until 10 days from my lh surge as I hadn't ovulated when I was scanned today and if I start them on day I was supposed to I would get a cyst .   that means all the planned a/l has to be rearranged and the embryoscope will have to be rebooked uhhhh I'm stressed out


----------



## northernmonkey

Amanda - glad to hear the scratch went ok. Don't get stressed about your plans going a bit out  - I got bfp with dd#2 and dd#3 when things had gone a bit skewed during treatment.  You're best getting the hiccups out of the way now, then things will go the way you want them to for the end result.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

I am doing a bit of illegal cross posting as I simply don't have the time for typing!

Well! I am finally back home and relatively settled after a very eventful week.

Baby Emily was born Friday 3rd late pm weighing 6lbs 14 oz.   
When she came out her apgar scores were 8 at 1 and 5 mins. Not too bad, but the midwife was not happy about her colour or tone, so did a cord gas sample. Very odd for a straight forward planned section she was extremely acidotic like she had had a traumatic birth. She was packed off to scbu after I got one stroke of her face. 
She was cold and shocked and her gas results got even worse.   They gave her fluids and sent bloods off. Consultant paed came to see me at 11.30pm and said she should have a haemaglobin level of over 17 as a newborn and it was 11. Could be all sorts of things from blood group incompatability, a haemhorrage into the placenta, parvovirus 19 (slapped cheek), or some rare genetic disorders where she has no bone marrow.  

After many tests, including testing my blood for her cells, the conclusion is she lost blood into the placenta for some reason. Could be that she was held too high relative to it and her blood drained out or the cord was around her neck and may not have been able to pump the blood back to her? Or her cord was simply cut too early (as happens at sections) not giving her time to get enough blood back.

I have stayed with her in SCBU all week. We have had to establish feeding (she is good at breast feeding and I have far more milk this time). But staff were topping up too much and then she would vomit. She got behind with fluids at one point and stopped peeing for a while. So we had to work on dehydration.
But all good. She is already nearly back to birth weight and a real sweety. She is a very content baby so far and only cries when really necessary. Hope it lasts!

Thursday night I had a very scary experience. We were discharged that night. I have been complaining of pain in my wound for days. Very numb skin and pain when coughing or sneezing. Pain when passing urine and pain in the stitches ( I had a running wire with beaded ends in my wound and it was feeling very taught, so they took it out). The midwives have been noting in my notes that the wound was very bruised.
Anyway, packed everything up and had to wait for paperwork. Finally got out of the hospital about 7.15pm. Sat down in the car and all of a sudden felt very warm and wet in my lap area. Felt with hand and there was blood, LOADS of it. I got out of the car, bear in mind it is dark, and felt again. My hands were like a blood bath. I got out a packet of baby wipes and got a pile of them and rubbed around the front of my trousers and they were soaked in seconds -  I was wet with blood from belly to knees. I was crying with panic that I was having a post partum haemhorrhage from walking to the car. Hubby told me to release the car seat from the base. I had to phone the people who have C and tell them I would have to go back into the hospital and we went back in.

Turns out the blood was not coming from the womb (thank god) but from a haematoma behind the wound (explains the pain). All old blood.

They got consultant to check wound. Now have to have it packed for 4-8 weeks and have to take it easy. 

Sorry if I have missed everyone's news. Lots of love and luck to those having treatment and early pregnancy


----------



## juju81

Congratulation on the birth of little Emily, well done hun.  What a scary scary time.  How's little C with his new sister? And DH? Has he stepped up to the plate!?

Crumbs, does that mean its me and possibly pink at next?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Blimey holly. Glad all is well.


----------



## amandaloo

Holly - what a time you all have had   . Hope your DH has been supportive and your father is ok too  .Emily is a lovely name  

Juju- I've lost track of who's next


----------



## hakunamatata

Wow holly congrats you never get an easy time do you. Hope youre settling back home wuth charlue and the lovely emily. Hope youre getting the support you need sweetie. Hubby also likes emily


----------



## juju81

We already have an Emily in our family 

Pinkcat, yeah I think it's us.  Reckon you could pip me tho ;-)


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

DH is being usual self. Said some really nasty things, but did come to the birth and took photos and made me an album. Visited each evening for a while and brought us home (although he thought it would be OK for me to go back to the hospital alone pouring blood until I told him that I was NOT going back alone. But he is not very supportive generally, telling me when I was in hospital that there was a stack of washing up, hoovering and laundry to do. Midwife is horrified at his lack of support and compassion and has told me to wait until the baby is 6-8 weeks old and change the locks.

He went to work on Friday, went ''out for the day'' yesterday to a garden after picking up his land rover from the garage and today has had his son here and they have gone to do work for his mum. Even going to his mum's for lunch and not offering me anything.

He made himself dinner last night and did not even offer me. Sent me a text from upstairs to say that C was crying in the night when I was downstairs sorting out E.

I have not been looked after in the slightest ...not one little bit. Almost my ''punishment'' for having a baby. I made myself a cup of tea earlier. I (unusually) did not offer him and his son one as it is all I can do to look after myself and the children. He has just ''made a point'' of making himself and his son a tea and deliberately leaving me out.

No offer of help to lift C. I asked him to hold E last night for a bit and he said ''if I have to''.

He just does not seem to behave like a normal person. His behaviour is not normal in the slightest. He just does not seem to see what is required. It made me very sad in hospital to see how worried concerned and loving everyone else's partners were.

The restrictive visiting policy in SCBU was hard as they only allowed partners and grandparents in and as I have neither who are interested or capable. I had no one to share my joy with really and show the baby off to. If I had other visitors I had to go out to them and leave baby with the nurse.

His mum finally popped into see her new grandaughter for 5 mins yesterday and brough left over trifle ingredients, but my FIL stayed in the car. No interest whatsoever.

Thank goodness for my friends and my Austrailian BIL and SIL. The Aussies were into see me everyday and brought me bags and bags of presents, hugs and cuddles. They were not allowed to see E much as we were in SCBU, but we went for afternoon tea in the cafe.

My friends have been wonderful - the ones who looked after C and brought him into the hospital were fab. My other friend who spent the whole day with me in hospital on the day of the birth and really was the voice of reason and support. My other friends and neighbours who have been in with gifts, hugs and doing the stack of washing up, making me food etc. All been fab.

I have my two beautiful children at last and that is all that really matters.


----------



## juju81

That's all you need to worry about that holly.  I totally agree with the midwife when your up and a bit more mobile, when he next goes out with his landrover, get the locksmiths in.  It's time to get this poor excuse of a human out of your lives


----------



## BECKY7

Hear hear juju81  you poor thing mistletoe  what is wrong with him  xx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Good god holly. He's nothing more than a dog! Get rid of him PLEASE. glad you've got some strong friends. Let them help you get rid of him soon.


----------



## amandaloo

Holly- if you were listening to us and that was happening to us you would tell us to leave  . He's so mean and horrible don't put up with it


----------



## carrie lou

Holly, sounds like a scary start but glad everything is ok now. Emily is a beautiful name   I'm with your midwife, get that man out of your house and out of your life. You deserve so much better Hun


----------



## Lindz

Awww Holly   .  Very glad all is ok with Emily and that you're on the mend too. Of course I agree with everyone else about how unfair and horrible your DH is being. I don't know if you still love him but even if you do, something has to change or he has to go


----------



## abcdefgh

Congratualtions Mistletoe! Welcome little Emily! Sorry you've had a rough time but good to hear that you are both now doing well. You sound very strong and that you are becoming clearer about what to do about your DH. It must be very sad and difficult but it sounds like you have the support of some lovely people around you. Good luck. I wish you and your precious little ones all the best   xx


----------



## ceci.bee

Congratulations Holly on the safe (eventual!) delivery of baby Emily, it sounds like you have really been through it. I am pleased she is better and you are both home, it sounds yet again like your partner is being a total w*n&r and if the midwife was horrified then that is really something as she will have seen the best and worst of dads over the years, so to horrify her he must have been really horrible. I know it is such a tough time but I hope your friends can rally around to support you in kicking him out of your lives.

lots of love to you and everyone - have been MIA for the last 3 weeks on a road trip around Southern Africa, 2014 is the year of come back to the UK and operation baby #2!

Ceci


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## shelleysugar

Congratulations Holly    My gorgeous little niece is called Emily so I definitely approve of the name!  I'm pleased you're both home safe and sound. xxx


----------



## margesimpson

Congratulations holly and welcome to the world Emily! Glad everyone is on the mend now. Enjoy these early days as much as you can despite OH and take LOTS of photos and videos! You can't have too many I think! 

Hi the everyone else,
Mx


----------



## juju81

Cooooooooweeeeeee

How is everyone?

I had to go and be monitored today because her movements have changed.  Everything is fine but where my placenta is anterior they said its probably started to shield the kicks more now! 

Nearly 28wks.  Can't believe it!

Where's everyone else at? It veryyyyyyy quiet in here


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## carrie lou

I'm here ... Just struggling a bit with fatigue and nausea! I just seem to want to stay in bed all the time   


I've had a bit of spotting so am going to EPAU tomorrow for a scan. Hoping everything is ok since I still feel sick and it was only a tiny bit of brown. But you girls know how hard it is to stay calm about these things   I just really need to see that everything's ok. Also have booking appointment with MW tomorrow so going to be a busy day.


Juju, glad everything is ok. Have to say, I had anterior placenta with Zac but could feel every little wriggle towards the end - that boy was never still! I guess it just depends on the individual


----------



## amandaloo

coooweee 

Juju- glad all is well   hope you weren't panicking   how's your back?

Holly - hope your home and settled  

Carrie-   I'm sure all will be fine   brown is old  

Mightymini-  

Hello to everyone else too hope your all ok . How's all the bumps doing ?


Well my tx has gone wrong and haven't started yet! I've not detected the lh surge since they told me to start testing . Basically couldn't start meds as when I had endometrial scratch done I was scanned and my egg had not been released they said I'd get a cyst if I started them. So been testing for lh surge she told me to test until I got it then once I got it start meds 10 days after . So telephoned to say I think I've missed it as still not come and it's day 23 now. I personally think my lh surge was prior to scratch as was getting the discharge TMI before I had it. Anyway now I've been told I'm going to start on day 1 on the contraceptive pill managed to get that from gp's . Then everything will be rebooked and rearranged Once i ring them in day 1 . Think it's most probably put me back a week or two . I'm scared that the scratch I had done will be pointless now  with all the delay ? I don't know  .


----------



## juju81

Carrie, hope everything's ok    I read before on another thread you'd had some spotting a few weeks back?  I'm awful at the mo, as my due date gets closer my anxiety goes haywire.  Don't get me wrong, I'm getting movements and wriggling but not kicks and punches.  Well, that was until this evening, the little madam    


Amanda, those cycles that always play you up end up being the the best...think how long it took for me to get going...over a fricking year.  Holly's took forever too.  It will all be worth it lovely   


Mini *finger*


----------



## carrie lou

And my cycle that resulted in this pregnancy began with Zac slamming his fingers in the car door, a detour to A&E, and me being 2 hours late for my baseline scan!!!  Seriously good luck Amanda    


Juju, no I've only had spotting for about the last 5 days or so, but it seems to have stopped today


----------



## northernmonkey

And my last bfp started with dd#2 coming down with chickenpox on the day of basting. Poor dh couldn't even be with me because he had to push dd up and down the street outside the hospital so she didn't infect anyone! As for the scratch, a hycosy has a similar effect and I was told it improves chances for 3 months afterwards.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Amanda - my clinic do the scratch in the cycle prior to treatment and say you need a bleed and a regeneration of the lining for the effect I believe. It improves blood supply to the womb.

juju - Glad all well. I think you are having 2 weeks in everyone's normal week as I cannot believe that you are in the third trimester very soon already. How did that happen? Mind you how did I get to the point of having a 2 week old baby already?

Carrie - hope all well with Baby 2. I bled 3 times with Emily and all was well.

We are fine. Breast feeding is going brilliantly this time. I cannot believe what a wonderful feeder she is and how easy (almost) exclusive breast feeding is. It was so so so hard last time and I ended up in that never ending cycle of expressing, washing bottles, making formula, trying to get it to the right temp, getting upset when it was wasted, breast feeding and generally my whole time was taken up with feeding or worrying about some aspect of it.
This time I have milk as she has managed to stimulate it and whenever she wants food it is just simple to pop her on. She had a blood test today and was crying her heart out. I fed her and she instantly calmed down. It isn't painful - it was just for a few days and now it has settled and she is a little expert.

Ju - I am not sure what your feeding plan is, but I would really recommend breast feeding for the ease of it if you can give it a go. I have had to introduce bottles too in SCBU from week one for top ups, but now all she is needing is 10 mls of expressed milk or formula twice a day for medicines and perhaps 30-40mls at 5 am when I am tired, but even that was not necessary last night. I want to keep acceptance of bottle and breast for flexibility if needed for emergencies and introduce a dummy for comfort at 4-5 weeks. Friends who have only done bottle or only done breast for the first few weeks have ended up stuck.

My wound is still being packed daily by the district nurses. It did bleed again on Sunday and I had to call out the emergency out of hours on call team to redress it and clean it as the dressings were soaked in blood. It seems to have settled a little since then and has not been as painful.

Social services and the care agency have been working on sorting out Dad. Even though I alerted them before I went in it all came to a head while I was in hospital and I was getting calls to say Dad was being targetted by gypsies and the police had been called and he was now under safeguarding as a vulnerable person. Luckily someone at the care agency has been taking my permission on the phone and dealing with stuff with the doctor, ss etc I was having about 45 min phone calls every day with the care agency.
Dad has been doing weird stuff like putting his medicines that have lived in a special tin for the last 5 years in a bag and hiding them in the bedroom for some unknown reason. All very peculiar.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Carrie sorry you e had spotting. I had a bit too. It's your body trying to have an af at the normal time it should.  

Holly glad bf is going well. Sounds like you've finally. Got it this time and it's more relaxed. Your poor dad. But hopefully now he's getting the help help he needs (and you) 
I can quite honestly say that ju will bottle feed  
I bottle fed exclusively and didn't come unstuck. I didn't want to bf. I quite liked seeing how much they had had and handing them over to other people while I could see to ds1 or have a wee


----------



## juju81

Holly, you sound (iykwim) so happy   I'm glad breast feeding is going well this time, I know what problems and scares you had last time. How's C coping? Is he a proud big brother?  I'm planning to bottle feed.  I really have no desire to breast feed, it's just not for me.  According to some books I hit the 3rd trimester last week but its flying by whatever lol! I have a feeling these last 12wks will slow down though. 

My spd has well and truly kicked in.  I could have cried this morning and the pain in the pubic area bought back horrid memories of the labour pains I was getting.  I can see myself having an epidural just to take that pain away. I do want one.  Not because I want to be some hero and do it naturally, the thought of the catheter brings me out in cold sweats   

I've got my whooping cough weds and midwife tues.  it's all go


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Sorry Amanda.   ahh what a crap time.   Hopefully it will all fall into place soon.


----------



## juju81

Haha mini, you know me so well!!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ju is it the catheter in your back that scares you?


----------



## juju81

No, my bladder


----------



## juju81

I've had a few.  The thought of them putting it in an taking it out makes me squirm and I always end up with a bladder infection afterwards! After Noah, I made them take it out early because it was freaking me out!


----------



## carrie lou

I'm a big fan of epidurals   Would definitely consider one next time. The catheter didn't bother me as much as I thought it would, the worst thing was noted being able to sit upright comfortably   


Holly, so pleased feeding is going so well this time   That's how I found BFing with Zac, amazingly easy and natural and one of the best choices I ever made. It helped that he was such a good little latcher from day one and wanted to be on the boob so much, my milk came in quickly. I know I was very lucky and just hope it will go as well next time   And yes, isn't the boob an amazing comforter! I breastfed Zac immediately after all his vaccinations for the same reason   I think it releases endorphins or something which help them cope with pain. Amazing when you think how clever our bodies are.


----------



## juju81

Maybe I could put something in my birth plan that they put the catheter in once my epidural is working??


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Yeah ju I only had it in when epidural was done. Once I'd had the monkeys I didn't really feel it. I didn't like it that I couldn't move in bed for fear of it coming out. It has to stay in for 24 hrs cos I wanted it soon after but they wouldn't let me. In the end the nice doc took it out after about 21 hrs. It was fine. I didn't feel anything.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

That was with ds2. With ds1 it was in for days and days


----------



## carrie lou

I didn't have mine in for anywhere near that long - not even 12 hours I don't think. I think as soon as your sensation comes back and you can feel when you need to wee, it can come out.


----------



## juju81

Yeah my midwife when I had Noah said 12hrs. I'd had it in about 7when I told them to take it out but I could feel my legs!! We'll
See.  Might just pop her out within like an hour hahahaha


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Actually yes I remember now it was 12 hrs. I had it out after 11


----------



## amandaloo

Juju- I had catheter In once epidural had been done also had waters broken after epidural too. And I've got to say was dreading having it out but it didn't hurt one bit ! Epidurals are good !

Thanks for all your reassurances really appreciate you all xxx

Re breastfeeding I found it really hard ds wouldn't latch that well and was forever hungry I literally couldn't keep up . If I were to be lucky enough again to have another I'd do both bottle and breast and expressing bit of everything !


----------



## carrie lou

Been to EPAU - Baby Two is fine! Curled up like a little kidney bean and completely oblivious to all the stress and sickness it's been causing its mummy   It's doubled in size in 8 days   And is now measuring a day ahead. Can't tell you how relieved I am. The sonographer said she could see a tiny area where the bleed might have come from, but nothing to worry about. She also said although it's not a guarantee, to see a heartbeat and everything looking good at 8 weeks is a really good prognosis. 


Feels like a milestone of sorts - this is when my last pregnancy ended   Also had my booking appointment with the MW today so I'm all official now.


Dare I start to believe this is actually going to turn out ok...


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie - excellent news


----------



## hakunamatata

Fantastic news Carrie


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

I really really hope so Carrie!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## juju81

Fab carrie.  When is your 12wk scan?


----------



## carrie lou

MW referred me for it today - should be about a month's time   


Btw, just out of interest, did anyone else opt NOT to have the NT screening? I have said I only want the dating scan, no screening. I just think I would never agree to a CVS or amino, and wouldn't terminate the pregnancy anyway, so what's the point - it would just be one more thing to worry about


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

You don't have to consent to the screening.
At our hospital you have to sign a consent for the dating scan and a separate consent for the NT screening. And then they ask you again at the scan if you want the NT measured.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

What if it had a life threatening illness or wouldn't live after the birth. I think I'd want to know that to prepare myself.   we had to do a cvs for Samuel due to him potentially having an unbalanced translocation. If he did have it he probably wouldn't of lived or been severely disabled. Thankfully he's got a balanced one.


----------



## carrie lou

I can totally understand having it if you're known to be at high risk of something. But I'm not. I would rather just trust that everything is ok and if it isn't, we will cross that bridge when we come to it. 


With the dating scan they still measure all the bits of the baby, look at its organs etc, so if there was something grossly wrong it might show up then anyway. 


I know it's not what the majority choose but for me, if it came back as high risk, I think it would just worry me for the next 6/7 months. And I really want to enjoy this pregnancy.


----------



## juju81

It's totally an individuals choice.  For me personally, I would want to know.  I wouldn't want to bring a very poorly baby into the world.  It's not fair.  That's my opinion though and some people may not agree with me either.  Just don't think it's life for anyone.  I guess they would pick up problems at the scan, ie Edwards or patau but to have it confirmed you would need an amino which you are saying you wouldn't have.  You have to ask if its fair to go through with the pregnancy knowing te baby most likely wont survive  

We'll support you whatever you choose though, as of course it is your decision xx


----------



## carrie lou

Beginning to wish I hadn't brought this up now


----------



## juju81

My friend didn't have any scans because she knew she wouldn't do anything.  It's totes up to you.  I also have another friend who had the scan and it came back high risk so she had the cvs and baby was fine.  Turns out as soon as they had put in her age it had come back high.  She said if they have any more (they have 6 between them then little Evie together) she wouldn't have the scan because it caused too much stress!  What does DH think about it?


----------



## juju81

Pinkcat, I was quite poorly before Xmas as actually found soluble paracetamol better then table form.  Maybe give them a whirl


----------



## hakunamatata

Pink im right there wuth you hun throat like razors unsble to breath and I only had anti biotics gor dinisitus esrly dec. The indigestion is killing me too but just keep telling myself its only for a short time but it does get you down. 

Carrie I agree I wouldnt terminate for downs I jyst wanted to know di I could be prepared and research how best deal with the illness. But its yours and dh call hun. What ever you decide is right for you. X x x x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Sorry carrie it came out wrong. it's your choice.   Personally I wouldn't be able to rest unless I knew it was ok. But yeah you're right, the measurements would indicate something.  

Pinkcat hope you feel better soon.  

Hak I had the razor blade throat for the entire time I was pg with ds2. It was the most painful thing (apart from labour ) that I'd ever had.   I had 3 lots of anti biotics but nothing worked. I think it was just my immune system at an all time low.


----------



## carrie lou

Thanks ladies. I just feel it's the right thing for us. DH is happy with whatever I decide. His uncle has Downs and he wouldn't want to terminate either.


Pinkcat and Hakuna, sorry you've both been poorly


----------



## juju81

Oh god no, I wouldn't either. Sorry I meant the other disorders they look out for Trisony 21 or something   you'll be absolutely fine anyway hun


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I work with leaning disabled adults so wouldn't  either. Like ju it would be life threatening things


----------



## ceci.bee

Carrie just catching up with this thread now. I completely was like you and I opted not to have any down's screening done. I would not have terminated the pregnancy or risked a miscarriage with an amnio to know for sure. If the baby had had any major cardiac problems or other problems caused by Down's or another syndrome that would have been picked up on the 20 week scan which these days are incredibly detailed, so we waited to know if there was a problem or not at that stage. You are young, the risk is low biologically anyway and if it would not change what you would do with the pregnancy then you don't have to go through the screening if you don't want to. Good luck hun and so pleased you are having this dilemma if you know what I mean   

xx


----------



## carrie lou

Thank you Ceci   Really good to hear people's different perspectives. I still think the way for us is no nuchal screening. Perhaps if I was a few years older I would feel differently.


----------



## juju81

I had to go to a&e last night with Nick. He'd sat down after putting Noah to bed and sat right on one of Noah's pencils stuck between the sofa cushions.  It pierced his boxers, shorts and then his groin.  It still makes me queasy now.  It entered about an inch     He's got a 3cm wound that has been glued and had it been 0.5cm to the right it would have pierced his privates.  It went into his muscle    he's drugged up on tramadol.  Gave us a chance to have a dummy run for when I go into labour


----------



## carrie lou

Oh my goodness juju, that sounds horrendous   Hope he's ok


----------



## shelleysugar

Oh dear Juju, that sounds horrendous but I must be very unfeeling because it's given me a spate of the giggles too    He must have been mortified and how embarrassing!

xxx


----------



## juju81

I laughed at first! Then I went faint and felt sick and needed a sick bowl in hospital myself lol! Some help I am   


He's quite uncomfortable, scared to sit down! He's been up painting all day.  He's nuts!


----------



## juju81

We've painted the wall in the nursery and have some aubergine curtains coming and this lovely wall sticker that's flattening as we speak

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Wall-Stickers-Decals-Mural-Paper-Kids-Huge-Decor-Colourful-tree-owl-Nursery-Art-/261265572299?pt=UK_Wallpaper&hash=item3cd4a441cb

Can't wait to start making the room look pretty  

/links


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Good luck with that   we've got a tree. Dh had to do it In the end. Fecking pig if a job. 

Carrie forgot about the age thing. I'm a lot older than you spring chickens


----------



## margesimpson

Hi all,


Juju - I love the wall art! Really cool! 


Still lurking...it's nice to hear how everybody's doing. M.xxx


----------



## amandaloo

Hi

Juju - love the wall sticker I saw one on a web site very similar but would go if you had boy or a girl lot dearer too might look on eBay myself now ! Noah has owls in his room at mo so was looking at other bedding but costs a fortune so didn't bother in the end . Hope your dh recovers soon 

http://www.notonthehighstreet.com/thelittleblueowl/product/little-owl-bed-linen

Mightmini- I'm an older one too  !

I can't keep up on who's having twins or singleton and when on here there's so many of you ?

/links


----------



## amandaloo

Hello 

Hope your all ok ?

Started on meds yesterday so started the journey again   .


----------



## northernmonkey

Yay Amanda, exciting stuff! Sending you loads of     for this one. How are you feeling?


----------



## juju81

Whoo hoooo Amanda  

Minx, stickers were just stickers not a transfer so slightly easier!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

all the best amanda. 


Ju ours were a pig. Thankfuly yours was ok. looks fab


----------



## hakunamatata

Its a healthy team pink for us girls.  Go ju. Sorrh short struggling . com


----------



## northernmonkey

Ahh, that's lovely Hak. I love having 3 girls. How many weeks are you now?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Congrats hak


----------



## carrie lou

Congratulations Hakuna    Exciting news!


I think I have norovirus or something - been up half the night vomiting every hour or two  It's definitely more than just pregnancy sickness. Didn't get much sleep and feeling pretty rubbish   Has anyone else had this in pregnancy? I'm so worried it will affect the baby even though Dr Google says it will be fine


----------



## juju81

Hak, said on ** but whooo hoooo.  I love having sisters  

Carrie, honestly, the baby will be just fine hun.  Like pinkcat say, just keep trying to drink.  I've got another stinking cold.  My second one in 2months. It's the pits.  Night before last I was up 1-5!

I've been signed off because of my spd.  It's got so bad again  not long tho, 29wks today


----------



## ceci.bee

congratulations Hakuna on team pink, that is wonderful news.

Carrie as long as you are drinking enough to keep needing to wee fairly regularly the baby will be getting enough fluid, just rest up and let DH look after DS while you rest


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Is it  to late to have a look pinky? Would a 3d scan not pick it up?


----------



## amandaloo

Congratulations Hak    how lovely xxx

Carrie- my friend had bad sickness bug in pg and all was fine   get we'll soon  

I'm a little worried about the cycle and nervous . Because my last cycle went wrong I'm having to do the protocol totally different   . Started on the pill on day one have to have that for 8 days then start with buserelin injections and stop the pill . I haven't got a cyst as far as I know but they keep talking about it . Anyway going to have to chill and go with it I suppose


----------



## juju81

Amanda, I don't know anything about IVF I'm afraid.  Just try and think positive hun x


----------



## carrie lou

Amanda, I don't know much either about protocols etc but I'd trust that the clinic know what they're doing. Can you ask them for more of an explanation?   


Juju, sorry you are ill again, hope you feel better soon   


AFM, finally stopped vomiting after 24 hours! I was pretty fed up I can tell you, and left now feeling very drained and with just "normal" amount of pregnancy sickness! Thanks for all the reassurance   I'm having a real problem at the moment though, every time I go in the kitchen or open the fridge it makes me want to heave and several times I've found myself retching into the kitchen sink  Which is tricky when I'm trying to cook for a family, get snacks for toddler etc. Anyone else struggled with this? I can see us living on salads for the next 3 weeks if this continues!


----------



## juju81

Carrie, glad your feeling better.  To be honest my hubby has taken over doing most things! The first 13wks when I had nausea he did all the cooking etc.  if DH isn't already, I'd get him to take over a bit! 

xx


----------



## carrie lou

Thanks Ju. To give him his due, he is trying - he cooks at weekends etc and has had to start making his own packed lunches! The trouble is weekdays he doesn't get home in time to cook, we all eat together early so can get Zac to bed on time. I maybe need to think of things to serve that don't make me gag!


----------



## margesimpson

Hi all,

Carrie - I really sympathize! the lutchen and fridge set me iff every time. Dh has to fo our cooking. Make sure everything in the fridge is covered and that the microwave is wiped down every time. Cook bland foods like pasta or rice or baked potato. Or just give sandwiches in the evening if they get a proper meal at lunch? Chicken sandwich etc?

Amanda - good luck with the treatment. If get a bit of clarification if you're not sure though. I know they don't mind this, it's so much to take in.

Juju - hope you feel better soon. Lots of rest if you can.

Afm - scan Thursday, but just want to feel better!
Mx


----------



## carrie lou

Thanks for the tips Margie. Sorry you're still feeling yuck, let's hope it passes soon for both of us   Good luck for your scan


----------



## margesimpson

So it's official - we had our scan today so we'll be able to start telling more people about the pregnancy and that it's twins. I know we'll get a mix of reactions - either are you mad? Or wow how wonderful. But today I saw the twins as actual babies that ill get to cuddle one day rather than just a horrible stomach bug!  

Carrie - how's the smells going? Any better?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Congrats Marge. Will you find out the sex?


----------



## abcdefgh

Congrats Marge! Great news. I hope the sickness eases soon. 

Hakuna - Lovely news about two more girlies. It's all girls on here at the moment!

Carrie - Hope you are ok and not feeling too rough. 

Amanda - Good luck    

AFM - Feeling ok, just shattered as DD has been ill and not sleeping well for the last couple of weeks. I'm just starting to feel baby kick at 19+ weeks. Much later than last time but I have got an anterior placenta this time which I guess explains it. I have 20 week scan on Monday - can't believe we're half way through! x


----------



## amandaloo

Marge- how lovely, great news   . Let us know what reactions you get . Hope the sickness eases soon 

Abcde- thanks   . Really hope your DD starts getting better so you can get some sleep . Must be hard being pg and not getting a good sleep  

I've started the drugs started pill last week and stopped that yesterday and start injections tonight . Got to stay up till 10   I'm going to be knackered I love going to bed early !


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Marge - amazing news!

Quite a few on here expecting now, and I am shocked at how fast time is flying.

It is funny how a lot of us had boys the first time around and now it has switched to mostly girls.

Emily will be 4 weeks old tomorrow and it feels like yesterday she was born.

She has finally started gaining weight properly - she gained 10 oz in 8 days (mostly breast fed with about 3 top ups of 30-60ml per day) and having more energy to stay awake and take in her surroundings. We have just started being able to put her in the bouncy chair and soon she will be ready for the rain forest gym for short periods.

My wound was infected and is still being seen by the district nurses, but it has now fully closed and I am waiting  to see how long it should be dressed for. I guess until it is fully closed and strong and unlikely to break down again. I cannot wait to have a proper bath or shower and not have to wash in contorted positions a bit at a time to avoid getting this huge dressing all wet.

Anyway, glad to hear that people are progressing well and good luck to all in early pregnancy or doing a treatment cycle.....


----------



## carrie lou

Marge, wonderful news - congratulations!    


Holly, I didn't realise you hadn't been able to have a proper bath or shower - how awkward   But pleased to hear Emily is doing well   


Amanda, good luck for injections. I know what you mean bat early nights - it's passed my bedtime already    


Abcd,lovely to feel some movement. Good luck for your scan! Sorry you're not sleeping well, neither am I - not sure why - but it's extra hard when you're pregnant    


AFM, sickness still lingering but manageable. Though I retch most nights while getting dinner ready   10 weeks tomorrow


----------



## juju81

Marge, fab news hun, when is next scan?

Amanda, when do they think ec will be?

Carrie, how long did your sickness linger with Z? Big hugs lovely  

Holly, lovely to hear from you.  Apart from the wound, hope alls well with C & DH too  

Hak, how you doing hun?

Abcd, wow nearly 20wks   it does seem like we're all flying through these pregs! Will you be finding out?

I'm 30wks on Saturday  . I've been signed of wok cos of my spd at the mo, not sure how long for.  Maternity starts 14/3.  Am getting waves of excitement about meeting her


----------



## carrie lou

Ju, I was sick all the way through with Zac but it got a lot better around 14 weeks - went from being sick 3 times a day to once a week or so   And the nausea was almost every day. This time it is a bit better actually - there was no way I could have cooked at all first time round, and I certainly didn't eat a proper meal for the first 12 weeks. So I'm hopeful the sickness will ease off completely at some point this time.


I don't mind really, I'm grateful to feel something that lets me know things are ok. With the baby I lost I never felt sick at all so it must be a good thing   


Sorry to hear about your SPD - what will happen if you don't go back to work, can they make you start mat leave early?


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

They can only make you start mat leave at 36 weeks if you have a pregnancy related sickness episode.

I am glad you feel that the sickness is reassuring. It is horrible feeling sick, but nice to feel the pregnancy is healthy.
I could not eat in pregnancy much and I lost a stone over the course of my pregnancy. I lost weight a little weight in pregnancy with C too but not a stone. I could not swallow pregnacare the whole of this pregnancy as it would make me gag and vomit in the sink. I tried one the other day and I have no issues now. 
I am eating so much now. I don't want to put all the weight back on again, but want to give my milk the best chance.


----------



## juju81

Yeah I had nausea everyday for 14wks then was sick back in December at about 20odd wks for a week.  Totally know what you mean tht in a way it's nice but it still draining though   hopefully it will start easing for you  

If I'm still off by the 9th march then I will have to start mat leave.  That's the Sunday before I leave anyway. I'm hoping to go back before I leave to be honest, just gonna have to wait and see  

I've only gained 16lb which I'm quite happy with considering what I ate the first 12wks and every few days I have a blow out. Yesterday I had a bacon sarnie, treacle sponge and custard and then burger and chips in the evening


----------



## carrie lou

I've lost a few pounds already. I lost much more in the first trimester with Zac and it took me until 20 weeks just to get back to pre pregnancy weight! Think I'm doing a bit better this time. I'm not actually vomiting as much this time, just the almost constant nausea and dry retching every time I go into the kitchen  I'm snacking almost constantly to try and control the nausea but I guess it's not enough to maintain my usual weight. Oh well, I'll try not to worry - like I said I was much sicker with Zac and he turned out fine


----------



## Tamr101

Hi ladies,

I hope you don't mind me joining your thread - I am fairly new to FF, but not new to ivf! I have a DS who is three now from our first ivf using the same donor we are using now to try and conceive number two.  We have been trying many times now, and are currently on our 8th treatment! We are doing a fresh cycle at ARGC and I'm on day 5 of stims.
Is anyone else currently having treatment using a sperm donor?
Many thanks x


----------



## amandaloo

Hi Tamr welcome to the thread   . I'm sorry to hear you've been trying for number two for so long . I'm in same position as you we've been trying for number two as well and had two failed FET's and 4 failed diui so going for fresh ivf . Just on downreg part so your a little way in front of me . Best of luck    

Juju- they said around 24th feb for ec 

Hope all you pregnant ladies sickness eases soon its not nice


----------



## carrie lou

Welcome Tamr   We are mostly donor sperm ladies here and lots of us are trying for or pregnant with our second (in some cases, second AND third!  ) so you're in good company here. Sorry to hear you've had such a difficult time, I hope this is the one for you, lots of good luck and forward to chatting with you   


Girls, I've been meaning to ask - did you start showing a lot earlier in your second pregnancies? I swear I'm sporting a little bump already   and I definitely wasn't showing this early with Zac.


----------



## abcdefgh

Ju - Wow, 30 weeks! Sorry to hear about the SPD - hope you feel better soon. We already found out at 16 weeks that it's another girl (maybe I forgot to update on here?) - we are having extra scans as part of a research study at the hospital  

Mistletoe - Glad Emily is doing well   . Hope your wound continues to get better and you feel back to normal soon.

Pinkcat - Hope all is well with your two on Monday 

Carrie - Yes, I think I started showing much earlier this time and feel huge now at nearly 20 weeks! 

Tamr - Welcome and good luck  

Amanda - Hope injections are going well. 24th Feb doesn't sound too far away - so BFP announcement early March?!   Really really hope so


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Pinkcat - I found that expressing by hand the low volume sticky colostrum into a syringe in hour one (as baby was in scbu) and as much as possible in the first couple of days and then going onto double machine pumping at the point my milk was coming in whilst I was in hospital got my milk going this time. Also having breast fed before things apparently work better. I think having a baby who was able to strongly suckle helped too and I was feeding on demand and if there was no demand waking up, nappy changing every 3-4 hours.
I let her suckle as much as she likes at home swapping side to side sometimes for 2-3 hours when she is having a cluster feed. If I am getting sore sitting in one position or need to do something else like get a couple of hours sleep before the day with C starts again or to get him to bed, then I give a top up to settle her, but certainly not every feed and I make sure I breast feed in the middle of the night when hormones are high. I have not really had time to express at home much.
I am eating well including a huge bowl of porridge every day which is a galactogogue (makes more milk). 
I find that I get engorged by 4 hours and there is plenty of milk so far. Apparently the hormones are highest in the first 6 weeks, and things might dwindle after that, but I think if I carry on as I am then milk is supply and demand and if she is suckling it then I will make as much as she needs. I am at home all the time at the moment though and once I am out and about it might be harder to feed so on demand. At least I will have the flexibility to give both.
There is also the issue of nipple confusion, but I have not seen a problem and my little girl seems to effortlessly do both and takes at least 4 different types of bottle teats too at the moment.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

It never ceases to amaze me how strange things are in life. I am more and more convinced as life goes on that my mother from the spirit world is with me. I would have been sceptical in the past, but over the last 14 years many too many things have happened that convince me otherwise.

I lost Beanie in November 2009 and the hospital kept the body for tests (which then never gave me any results from) and released the body in January. The hospital chaplaincy arranged a communal funeral for lost babies once a month and it happened to be on the 4th February in the morning, which was the exact 10 year anniversary of my mother's death. I took that as a sign that she was going to be grandmother in heaven to my baby.

Today I booked an appointment to register Emily's birth and I plan to possibly give her my mother's name as a middle name, as well as my middle name which my mother loved. Low and behold I asked for the next available appointment and it is the morning of the 4th February. I had not even really thought about the anniversary being so close and I have been at home for 3 weeks and lost track of dates. When the lady said the day and date to confirm the booking I was so emotional I started crying. The lady on the phone started crying too and said she truly believed in fate and things in heaven and earth we can't explain.


----------



## northernmonkey

Holly - I've no doubt that your mum will still be with you.  My mum is very spiritual and has seen a few people after they have passed away.  My mum's from London and the first time she took me there as a baby, she was putting me down to sleep and heard someone at the bottom of the stairs (we were staying in her grandma's old house.) Mum thought it was her dad because he had a key to the house, so she went to the stairs to say hello and there was her grandma. My mum's instant theory grandma had appeared because she knew there was someone new in the house and said 'it's ok grandma, I've just brought my new baby to visit' and walked away!! 
She saw another auntie shortly after my auntie died - my mum had been very close to her.  Then just last month we were up at my mum's house and we were chatting about her parents, who both died years ago. I asked my mum had she never seen them since they died and she just smiled... Turns out she saw them about two years ago just a few days after my mum and dad moved into their current house. My mum had just walked into the sitting room, looked outside and saw her parents standing in the garden. Her theory for that one is that they wanted to see where she was.  I love hearing my mum tell me these things - I find it so comforting to know that people don't leave us and that I can assure my girls that whatever happens I'll always be around them.  I've had a couple of white feather episodes but that's all. To be honest it'd freak me out if I saw a ghost!!


----------



## northernmonkey

Ps what are Emily's other names?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

That's really comforting holly


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Carrie I started showing at 8 wks with number 2. People in work guessed I was pg. your stomach muscles are weak with number 2.


----------



## juju81

Tamr welcome lovely, like Carrie said I think most here are using donor sperm.  Come and make yourself comfy with us  

Carrie, I showed earlier but to be honest I think people just thought I'd piled on weight.  I don't have a very big bump and with my coat on you probably wouldn't know.  In fact, a few mums at Noah's nursery didn't know until Tuesday when I got stuck on the floor picking up noahs pen lid & mentioned something about it!   

Abcd, yes actually you did tell us   I remember now, sorry! We need a list at the front   I'm getting confused with whose  having a boy/girl, who's having 1, who's having 10   

Amanda, were in feb now. The 24th will come round quick as  

Holly, oooh spill, what are Emily's middle names? I think it must be a comfort to know your mums with you. How's your dad? My brother in laws dad has dementia and they have just got him into a home   he'd started becoming violent to his mum and she worked full time too.  I think it's a 2 week trial to start with the hope he'll be able to stay.  It's very sad  

Well I'm officially 30wks today.  Where the heck has that time gone.  I also feel like I've been pregnant forever   I'm on the countdown now.  Just need a couple more things ie a bottle brush


----------



## Tamr101

Hi ladies,

Thank you so much for all your lovely welcome messages! Wow it's amazing some of you on no.3!  I am so excited to be connecting with people that have used sperm donors! 

Amandaloo it sounds like youve had a similar journey to me...it's great that we are cycling almost same time!  What clinic are you with? I'm with ARGC as they are treating my raised NK cells...I'm booked in for IVIG on Monday to try and bring the level down a bit.  In all honesty though I think my miscarriages have been down to quality. We are thinking of doing PGD again this time to try and cut the risk of miscarriage.

We are also on our last ampoule of donor sperm (sibling stock) which means after this we are going to have to have a serious think about our next steps if it doesn't work.  We dont mind changing sperm donor if necessary but may need to think about an egg donor too!  
X


----------



## amandaloo

Tamr-    just been reading your signature so sorry you have been through so much  . What's an IVIG ? I've had an endometrial scratch and we are using embryoscope this time as this is our last go . Not doing it again unless I have frozen ones to use needed to put a time limit and end date on it all .


----------



## Tamr101

Hi Amandaloo, ivig is an infusion (like a drip) used to bring down your raised Natural Killer cells. I will be having that along with some steroids as they believe this could be causing the miscarriages.. ( prob one of several reasons). 
I really hope this try works for you. You are brave putting an end date on it all, I haven't been able to do that for some reason. I guess when I'm 40 is probably time for moving on. Let's hope it works now!
X


----------



## amandaloo

Tamr- we just feel we've had enough of it all we have a little but more fight left in us yet though   . Im 40 this year but thats not really anything to do with decision to stop. Oh right thanks for explaining never heard of that sounds like a very good idea . I can't believe you've only just found us on here . Must have been hard for you to go through all this on your own with no support


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

IVIG is Human Normal Immunoglobulin and stands for intravenous immunoglobulin. It is a pooled plasma product from thousands of donors and has many immune complexes in it and should mop up abnormal immune products in the patient's blood. We use it in hospital for many immune modulated conditions such as strange neurological conditions like Guiilian Barre syndrome and platelet disorders etc as well as patients who have no ability to make immunoglobulins who have them given monthly.

They stopped using them in infertility treatment in a lot of places some time ago as there was a severe shortage and the DOH put restrictions on it so the patients who really depended on it for their life could still get it.

Many places started using intralipids instead as these are not a blood product, are very cheap in comparison and seem to be effective, from what I have read.
IVIG would very much be a last resort and very very expensive. (£1000s)


----------



## abcdefgh

Great news Pinkcat   

AFM - Our scans also went well. Everything looks perfect and it's definitely a girl. Can't believe we'll be meeting her so soon. It really is going so quickly this time.


----------



## amandaloo

Pinkcat- great news love to hear all the scan stories .  

Abcdef- also lovely news when's your edd?


----------



## juju81

Fab news pinkcat.  Will they leave you to go naturally?

Abcd, great news on your scan too   update your ticker lol I need to know how far you are!

Amanda, how things going chick?


----------



## amandaloo

Juju - think its going ok my af started back again once I stopped the pill so was relieved about that and started injections for downreg last Thursday . I am knackered and getting some headaches but feeling confident that things are going well so far .   . Has something happened today can't fathom it out on ** ?


----------



## abcdefgh

I'm 20 weeks today and due 23rd June   - will try and get round to a ticker eventually... Was there not talk of having a page with all our dates on? No pressure if that's a hassle to set up for whoever's responsible though.

Amanda -Glad things are going well


----------



## juju81

The day I travel back from my holiday  

Amanda, glad things are going ok   yeah I had no movement at all this morning so had to be monitored.  The ctg was fine, her heart rate was increasing as it should but half the movements I couldn't feel and I think it's my placenta cushioning. Because I've been to be monitored twice now they book you in for a scan so on Friday I'm having a growth and blood flow scan.  Was on the verge of tears and I couldn't get hold of nick because he has no signal where he's working! He finally got my message at 4.30! I said good job I wasn't in labour


----------



## amandaloo

Juju- oh no  thats awful you poor thing   must have been so scary on your own . Glad everything is ok though   and be nice to see your little girl again on Friday . Lots of hugs


----------



## juju81

Yeah it was, she literally just wasn't moving.  Not like this morning, been moving around since she woke at 7! Which is her norm so yesterday it just wasn't right.  I kept contemplating another private scan so yeah it's nice getting another one.  I didn't know that was our hospitals policy so was quite nice being booked in for one yesterday.  Just roll on April when she's safely in my arms


----------



## carrie lou

Ju, that'll be nice to get another scan  


Abcd, 20 weeks   Well done! Your due date is my hubby's birthday  


Pinkcat, glad your scan went well, and maybe team blue? Exciting  


AFM, had an argument with DH this morning, not even sure what his point was but I think he's fed up of having to do more around the house while I'm suffering with sickness. He wants me to go to the doctor because he thinks I'm anaemic and need anti sickness medication. He can't seem to see this is a normal part of pregnancy and will get better soon (I hope). I am trying my best, keeping the house clean and tidy and keeping on top of the laundry etc. I even cook most nights even when I spend half the time retching into the sink. All on top of working two days a week in a pretty demanding job. He keeps saying his depression is worse but won't go and see anyone about it  which annoys me because I'm now on antidepressants and been seeing a counsellor every week since November - I just want him to sort himself out too so we can actually enjoy this pregnancy. 


Sorry for the rant. On a lighter note, I want to share a really sweet moment with you: Yesterday morning as I was retching into my bucket (a fairly common occurrence at the moment), Zac came into our room and looked horrified. DH said to him, Why don't we help mummy by getting her a face cloth to wipe her face. When I'd finished Zac was on my lap wiping my face for me   I said to him, You're so good at looking after mummy, are you going to look after the baby as well? And he replied, Yes, I'm going to wipe the baby's face too  


Finally, I am willing to set up a list on the front page if enough people want it and if you let me know what you want on it - perhaps a list of bumps and another list of babies/toddlers/children? Let me know


----------



## ceci.bee

aw Carrie that is adorable - he sounds like Joshi, very sweet and caring. But what an unsympathetic DH! Is he still poorly or better now? If he is still worrying about you (which is what it sounds like while being very maley unsympathetic at the same time) then it might be worth going for a check up with the midwife to reassure him taht nothing is being missed. My DH got super anxious when I was pg with joshi after we had our loss, to the point where he was quizzing me about every possible symptom and what it might mean. It is annoying but it might be part of his greiving process for the MC as well          

All your talk of bumps and babies is making me super broody! we are leaving Africa next Sat, and from March we will be ready to start to look at our finances properly after the move and start talking to the clinic after that I hope. DH is away and our hot water system is broken - Joshi soaked his nappy last night and got out of bed to tell me - I was in the middle of getting him out of his wet pjs when the power went out - we both crashed around in the dark looking for a torch, then he had an accident on the floor cos he couldnt find the loo in the dark, slipped in the wee and went flying and started howling (we only have tiles no carpet) but wasn't actually hurt phew, we both got covered in wee on the floor and then had to go back in the cold bath by candlelight to rinse off - some things about Malawi I definitely won't miss   

lots of love to everyone
Ceci


----------



## juju81

Carrie, that's very sweet of Zac, sounds like he'll be like Noah who just can't wait to be a big brother.  He sits in her nursery most days just beaming.  And    to your DH    your really at the stage you need to him to take over.  I can't fault my DH, even now with my SPD he's taking over the reins really.  I'm off sick at the mo and he's even taking him to the childminders.  Tell him you need more support


----------



## juju81

Carrie, is DH working? I know he was being threatened with redundancy?


----------



## Lindz

Pinkcat- that's so good! I wrote a strongly worded complaint letter (essay) to my hospital after 2 nights alone post c-section with no support from midwives totally messed up my breastfeeding and caused me to discharge myself against medical advice because I couldn't go through another night! I've also been helping with a Tamba campaign on this. Brill to hear it's getting through! X


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I didn't have twins or a section but found it hard enough first time around. No support from midwives either. On fact they were the Pitts. I discharged myself too. I really wish I'd written a complaint. 

That's do good your dh can stay over night.


----------



## juju81

That will be great pinkcat   will be a help with 2 of them.  Are you hoping o feed yourself?

For me, I actually quite liked the time just me and Noah an the fact nick got some sleep.  I was a wreck and I think it actually helped that one of us had had sufficient sleep before I got home iykwim! The other hospital I can go to allows coupled to stay over but I don't like the hospital so not going there!!


----------



## amandaloo

Hi 

I'm in the discharge against medical advice group too  . Nightmare on the wards after labour . I'd had no sleep for two nights before hand on other wards then labour then no sleep on wards with DS . Felt like they started to bully me with breast feeding told me i couldn't go home unless they saw me do it in my own . I just told them straight I had SMA in the cupboard and nothing would stop me from going home . I told one of them I'd done a feed on my own and they said we didn't see you do it you will have to buzz next time so we can see you . Pressure or what !!! They also said what's the problem the staff can get him to latch on why can't you !! The staff took hours trying to get him latched on it was totally unfair and untrue  . I'll never forget that ever . I discharged myself next day couldn't take it any more .

Carrie -   I agree with Ceci sounds like he's over worrying  . Tell him you need more help . I do feel for you it's hard


----------



## carrie lou

Sorry to hear so many of you had a bad experience in hospital. I must have been really lucky cos mine was fab, I couldn't fault it really. I didn't mind being on my own as only stayed in first night and obviously only had one baby! The MWs even offered to have him for an hour or so overnight so I could get some sleep, but I said no thanks. 


Pinkcat, I think it's great that your hospital will allow DH to stay overnight. I'm sure it will be a big help with two babies to look after   


Ceci, wow it's come round quick! Bet it will be a bit of a culture shock for all of you returning to good old UK  You'll be starting treatment before you know it   


Thanks for all the comments about DH. I think he probably is anxious but being a bloke, doesn't express himself very well   We had a chat and he's being a bit more supportive now. I reminded him how much sicker I was with Zac and how much better I'm coping this time. Also asked if he'd like to come along to my next MW appointment so he can discuss his concerns with her, he seemed quite keen on the idea. Also he FINALLY agreed to talk to the doctor about his worsening depression and has an appointment tomorrow. He's still on antidepressants but I just think if things are getting worse, he needs to nip it in the bud and get some help. 


Ju - he is still working but looks likely he will lose his job in the next couple of months. What happens after that we don't know


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

That's awful Amanda    They didn't even try to help with bf. hence I didn't do it. I wasn't bothered but if I was it would of been awful


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

pinkcat said:


> Sorry you had such a scare juju but good they are looking after you so well
> 
> Zac will be a lovely big bro Carrie, how sweet
> I like the idea of a front page list, if you don't mind doing one
> 
> Glad the scan went well abc
> 
> Hope your move goes smoothly Ceci
> 
> I had midwife appointment today and was told hospital policy has recently changed and partners are now allowed to stay overnight on the post natal ward! I am so happy as being left alone was one of my biggest fears.


Yeah lovely - my baby was in SCBU and I was post c-section all alone and I had to listen to the woman opposite's hubby snoring all bloody night for 2 nights before I moved into scbu....well apart from when they were going up and down to the front of the hospital to have a ***! They were not even post natal, so she was on and off the monitor too and on her phone swearing to anyone who would listen about her induction.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Carrie glad he's getting help


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Carrie glad he is getting help.

Ceci - I bet it will be hard to adapt when back here, but other aspects will be like luxury. It must make you feel appreciation for all we have for the rest of your life.

AFM - C also going through a very sweet time at the moment - lots of ''I love my mummy'', or ''I love you too mummy''. And ''Are you ok mummy'' or ''daddy''.Very concerned for his sister. Lovely giggles. Thirsty for learning - knows all his letters, colours, numbers. Started a ''why?'' phase. Imagination and making things gathering pace........... And an absolute horror to the animals and has some wapping tantrums just to remind me he is independent!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ds1 wants to know why ds2 hasn't got a 'my story' book   might need to do a hand made jobby for him. Think in the next yr things are going to get slightly awkward with the old donor story


----------



## juju81

I had no issues with my midwives on the ward.  I was in from Tuesday 6pm until Sunday lunchtime but I was bottle feeding so didn't need as much support if you get me.  I did however have a very tearful day on the Saturday, my hormones had slumped and they had just told me I wasn't going home again and they were lovely.  Tht night they took Noah all night so I could get some sleep.  

Amanda, I'd have fecking complained!

Carrie, glad DH is being more supportive.  You def need it in the early months or hole way through to be honest!


----------



## abcdefgh

I was quite lucky in that breast feeding went quite well and I hadn't had a particularly traumatic birth, but I agree that the after care on the ward was rubbish in comparison with the amazing experience we had with all the docs and midwifes we met during my labour. 

Carrie - Glad you've made progress with DH. Hope you are feeling ok.  

Ceci - Good luck with the move back home! 

If we're going to start a front page thingy, my details are:

Bump: Girl due 23/6/14, Children: DD born 21/8/12

Thanks!


----------



## carrie lou

I have been wondering how to adapt My Story for a second baby actually.... Might have to give it some thought. I want to make a personalised book for this baby like I did for Zac. He asked to read it tonight in fact   


Ok ladies I will start a list on the front page   But I'm afraid it'll have to wait until Friday - I'm in work all day tomorrow and the evening nausea has just set in so don't have the mental capability right now   But in the meantime let me know if you want to be added and I'll sort it out on Friday


----------



## juju81

Me.....DS Noah born 17/3/10. Baby girl due 12/4   




Get yourself to bed carrie


----------



## abcdefgh

No rush Carrie x


----------



## carrie lou

Thanks. I'm tucked up already nibbling crackers


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

You all know about my terrible experience with total medical neglect of C and his obvious symptoms of poor feeding and tongue tie leading to him needing intensive care after 7 days.
I won't say more other than a 4 page complaint went in followed by meetings with the head of midwifery, the paediatric consultant, I did a formal presentation to the Trust board and all the midwives, obstetricians and paediatricians at their perinatal education meeting. 

That is how bad it was.

I have to say that it was a lot better this time and hence my breast feeding is going well and my baby was looked after properly in SCBU from the first half hour. I was helped to hand express from the first hour. Allowed to use an electric pump as soon as I had signs the milk was coming in. 

But there were still issues with no tables at the bedsides on post natal ward, no foot rests and chairs too high and no chair at all at my bedside on SCBU and differing advice from every nurse you met about frequency of feeding, topping up (as she was sick and had been hypoglycaemic) and expressing. Things that were in my original complaint apart from the main medical neglect issues.

I can do a bit of the front page too if it helps Carrie? Can't promise to keep it all up to date on my own though as I have my hands full.


----------



## carrie lou

Don't worry Holly, I'll do it - I probably have a bit more free time right now than you do


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

How do you do it from a natural pregnancy ??


----------



## amandaloo

Mighty mini-   I really don't know   . It's a really hard one that . Unless you do it with you were conceived in this way and your brother this way  . Is there anything on the donor conception website about natural conception after donor conception ? Maybe not if its donor conception website  . 

Carrie - thank you for doing the front page . DS born July 2011 and trying for a sibling 

Holly- glad all is going well  

Juju- good luck tomorrow


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Yeah I need to do this is how you were made. It might be more beneficial to ds1 so he can see how both were made, both are the same but were made slightly differently. Arrrgghh it's getting complicated now they're getting older


----------



## carrie lou

Hi girls, I've just done the list - hope it's OK. I've made a Bumps list and a Babies list, also a list for those waiting for or currently having treatment. Anyone else want to be added, just give me a shout  


I'm 11 weeks today!!! And 11 days to go till my scan  We just had some good news of a possible job offer for DH. It will be a more senior position and better paid, nothing set in stone yet but it sounds hopeful


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

That's good news carrie.  

My details are ds1 5th July 10 and ds2 4th April 12


----------



## abcdefgh

Sounds positive Carrie. Fingers crossed it all works out   

Thanks for setting up the front page. Can you add my "baby"? DD born Aug 2012


----------



## juju81

Thanks carrie, fab job   


Alls good with my scan, amazing how much they fill the screen at this gestation! Estimated weight of 3lb9 but not expected to be a biggun.  She had a little head like Noah lol     Makes me all excited


----------



## carrie lou

Oops sorry Abcd, I don't know how I missed off your DD   Added now though   


Mini also added  


Juju, great news on the scan


----------



## shelleysugar

Hi Carrie
Can you add me to the bump list?  I'm 19 weeks, EDD 01/07/14

Thanks
Shelleysugar x


----------



## carrie lou

No problem Shelley,   


The list's starting to look a bit fuller now, which is lovely!


----------



## hakunamatata

Hi all hopr youre ok. Sorry been awol not been well and its addi birthday monday and party tomorrow. Been making a raa raa cake. Can you believe my baby is nearly 2. Due date for twin girls 11 th of june. Thanks carrie


----------



## JanaH

Hi ladies,


Sorry I've been a bit awol, bit needed some time away from here.


Carrie so glad everything is going well.


Amanda good luck with you cycle   


Juju not long until you meet your little girl


Hope everyone else is doing well


Afm: I had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy on Thursday still uncomfortable and looking after an active boy doesn't help... I had some thrombophillia tests done for the recurrent miscarriages in December that came back all normal. I don't know if we will be doing anything different in the next cycles, luckily we have 3 frozen embryos to transfer.


----------



## juju81

I saw you'd been in hospital hun    I was really uncomfortable after my laparoscopy.  Have you anyone who can help look after little man? You need to take it easy for a few days


----------



## JanaH

DH is home so his been helping but lo doesn't understand that I can't pick him up. It is so hard not having any family here, I was in an absolute state sorting him out for when I went into hospital as DH worked that day luckily his nursery had space for him. My BP was so high they nearly cancelled my op. Oh well all done now.


----------



## juju81

Did they give you any indication if anything was found? We're they looking for endo?  How was your holiday?


----------



## JanaH

Consultant said there was a lot of scare tissue where my endo was previously which they removed and some new endo which they removed. He said my uterus looks normal and my tubes are open as he did a dye test as well. 


Holiday was really good enjoyed Dubai could have spent a few more days there. Was definitely worth the stopover.


----------



## Lindz

Please can I go on the list?  DD and DS Dec 2010


X


----------



## amandaloo

Jana- lovely to hear from you   sounds like your getting ready to start again . When do you think you will start?

Juju- glad your scan went well  

Ceci- when are you back ? Sure it's soon now?

Carrie- thanks for doing the list . 

Tamr- how's your treatment going?

Afm- omg my headaches are terrible . I'm hoping to start stimming soon going to clinic on Wednesday then I can stop using the downreg drugs or at least reduce the dose . Uhhhh :-(


----------



## shelleysugar

Amandaloo - my best advice is to drink plenty - this should stave off the headaches.  When you start stimming you tend to just feel more yourself, even without reducing the downreg drugs - roll on Wednesday for you! x


----------



## JanaH

Amanda hope those nasty headaches are gone. I remember them they are horrible, thats why I decided to do SP last time.


----------



## My Son is My World

Hello ladies
Can i be added to the front page please? My beautiful son was born on 10/10/13.
Looking forward to joining the thread and getting to know you all xx


----------



## carrie lou

Welcome Emlore


----------



## My Son is My World

Thanks Carrie. Hope everything is going well for you and bump? X


----------



## carrie lou

I'm well thanks Emlore.   The sickness has been a little less the last few days so I'm hopeful I may be over the worst soon! Scan a week tomorrow   then I can start telling the rest of the family, fingers crossed all is well. How are you and lovely little James?


----------



## My Son is My World

Aaah bless i remember the sickness well - I'm surprised james didn't come out as a salt and vinegar snack a jack as those were the only things i could eat for about 6 weeks while i was pregnant that didn't make me throw up!!
We're doing well thanks - the little tinker still fights sleep but I'm hoping once he starts crawling he'll wear himself out. He gets more and more beautiful every day and i still cant believe he is mine. I am blessed to have him as my son xx


----------



## ceci.bee

Emlore that is so funny  - I could also only eat salt and vinegar crisps for the first trimester without puking - the stronger the better, I went through every brand and ended up eating mostly discos and macoys   feels like a long time ago now, tho hope I will be there again in 2014


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie- good to hear your feeling better 

Been for a scan all going well downreg worked so starting stimming tomorrow     . Going for another scan Friday 21st and hope to talk about when egg collection will be then . They said it will be week commencing 24th feb . Not long to go . 

Hope everyone is well the weather is terrible isn't it.


----------



## abcdefgh

Sounds good Amanda - not long to go  

Pinkcat - Glad test results came back ok  

How's everyone else? Hope nobody has been too badly affected by the weather this week.

AFM - not much news. Nearly 22 weeks and I feel enormous


----------



## amandaloo

Hi

All very quiet on here  . How are you all ?

I'm 5 days into stimming at moment . Go back to clinic on Friday


----------



## carrie lou

Hi everyone,


Amanda, hope stimming is going well and good luck for Friday   


Pinkcat, glad the tests came back clear   GD doesn't sound like much fun   


Hope everyone else is well.


I've had a horrible weekend, 12 hrs shift on Saturday then spent all of Sunday in bed vomiting   Think it was just complete and utter exhaustion and my body crying out for a rest! Much better today thankfully. 12 week scan tomorrow at 3pm, eeeeeeek! I've told my brother and sister my news (both were delighted  ) and will tell everyone else after tomorrow


----------



## hakunamatata

Amands wishing you the very bedt of luck honey, hope those follied are growing nicely. Keep us posted. 

Carrie good luck for tomorrow how exciting. Sorry youve been unwell. 

Pc glad gd all clear I fesr I wont be as lucky.

Sorry ive been awol im really struggling physically and emotionally. X 

Big hugd all


----------



## amandaloo

Pinkcat- sorry I missed putting glad your results came back ok 

Carrie - good luck tomorrow . Sorry to hear you've been poorly  

Hak- we are always here for you if you need us .    how many weeks are you now?

Juju- can't be long now 

X


----------



## hakunamatata

Amanda thsnks hun im 24 wks wed. Have another scan and first consultsnt app.


----------



## juju81

Fingers crossed for Friday Amanda....you so deserve this hun.  I don't know how you've had the strength to keep going    it will all be worth it   


Oh Hak hun     is it the thought of coping with 3 very  young ones? I don't think there's anyone out there who wouldn't be worried   how independent is A?


Carrie, best of luck tomorrow chick.  Your'll be fine.  It's flown by   


How's everyone else doing?


Yep Amanda, nearly 33wks.  7wks to go.  I finish work 3wks Friday.  I'm ready to be honest.  I'm exhausted come 1.30 in the arvo! I'm all ready now, no more to get ready.  Just need baby here safely now    cheers for asking lovely


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Hak sorry to see you're struggling. Can you not go back on your meds?


----------



## hakunamatata

Its not really the stage of meds. Its more physical ailments taking their toll.  Addi slso very clingy soquite cconcerned about hospital stay.  Generally totallg exhsusted and overwhelmed.com


----------



## carrie lou

Oh Hak, so sorry you're struggling hun    


Hope everyone is well. I had 12 week scan today. Everything looks good, baby measuring exactly right and waving at us    I can't believe how much more detail we could see compared to Zac's scan just 3 years ago. I'm so very happy


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Glad all is well with the baby carrie.  

Hak a lot can change in A few months. It's probably just a passing phase with addi. Who is having her when you go in? She'll be fine and will be occupied with whoever has her. Get her lots of books about new babies etc


----------



## juju81

Fantastic news Carrie  

Hak, try not to worry about it.  You've a few months yet.  Has she just turned 2? She's very young and just won't understand yet.  She's probably picking up on you not being able to do much.  I had the same with Noah but instead of being clingy his behaviour went through the roof (more then normal   ) agree with minx, get her a little book.  Big her up too about how she'll be an amazing big sister.  Noah loves hearing this.


----------



## amandaloo

Hi

Carrie- wonderful news so chuffed for you    

Hak- I think Juju and Minx are right . Think my friend bought her little girl a baby and pram or something along them lines nearer the time and bigged up the big sister thing. Sorry to hear about the ailments is it sickness or back pain or both? I'd be worried too if I was expecting twins . I liked your ** post the other day about people who are mothers to twins you know which one I mean  

Juju - exciting   three more weeks could fly by . How hard is it being pg with a toddler ? Did you pick him up and stuff early stages ? Ps I don't know how I'm doing it either I'm bloomin exhausted with it all and now I have a head cold uhhh . To top it off its so busy at work   

Holly- how are you?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Oh crumbs I'd never sleep with 1 baby next to me let alone 2!! Couldn't even have them in the same room   


Amanda I carried on as normal when I was pg. you have no choice. Woman have done it for yrs. especially women that have got pg time and time again naturally.


----------



## Lindz

to Pinkcat and Hak, you've got a lot going on emotionally and physically  

Pinkcat- with mine I decide not to co-sleep and then ended up co-sleeping! First DD wouldn't sleep without me for 6 weeks or so then DS had such bad colic/reflux or whatever that I had him with me for another 6 months. I rarely had them both though. If they both needed someone then DH took one and slept on the nursery floor with his arm stuck in a cot    Think its difficult until they arrive and you see what they are like and what they need. Did you co-sleep with DS? How are you planning to feed? I was expressing at night and faffing round with sterilisers and bottles so that's quite disruptive to everyone x


----------



## amandaloo

Pinkcat- sorry to hear your struggling . Must be exhausting growing two little one  . I'm sure you will be fine this time round you won't let them get away with having a bad experience . When do you have to decide on c section or natural?

Abcde- how are you ?

Lindz-  

Ceci- how are you?

Hope everyone else is ok


----------



## juju81

Amanda, I've definately found it harder this time round.  Not being able to just stop and snooze if you want to like you did first time round is hard.  Noah's older so I don't have to pick him up much but I couldn't have done this preg without DH's help.  He's been amazing and pretty much takes over when he's not working!  Good luck Friday hun  

Pinkcat, aww hun.  My anxiety is through the roof too   I had a hideous time last time.  That's not what's bothering me this time it's more I'm worried about not having a baby to bring home at the end  .  I'm limiting my FF use (mainly to this board only) because I was reading too many sad stories.  What date wil 37wks be? You'll be having yours before me you lucky thing   I take my hat off to twin mummies.  I'm so uncomfortable and even said to nick the other day how having 2 in there must be even more uncomfortable! All those limbs and bottoms lol! Could you get one of those cot/cribs that kind of attach to your bed? Snugpod or something?  

Lindz, did you ever decide whether to have more treatment?

Hak, have you had any physio yet? I'm not sure how way it is for you but seriously what had helped my pelvis is doing NOTHING! Weekends I do nothing, I might pop to my mums etc but that's about it.  Before I was taking Noah to the beach etc. it's just not something I can do now.  Nicks been taking him (when it's been dry) so at least he's getting out and about.  Do you work? Get signed off for a bit and spend your days in bed!


----------



## Lindz

Hey Ju, no firm decision but the more we deliberate the less likely it is. If I could guarantee a BFP first time, a happy, healthy singleton, a low risk pregnancy and natural, straightforward birth, healthy baby that latches well etc etc we'd go for it and DD would love a younger sibling but I'm not sure life works like that


----------



## amandaloo

Hi 

Been for scan got 9 eggs at moment     . He saw one big one one at little bit smaller and rest small . Wants me to go back Sunday to recheck then looks like tue for egg collection x


----------



## carrie lou

That's great Amanda   I'm sure you will have even more than 9 by next week. Good luck Hun   


Sorry to ladies suffering with anxiety. I can sympathise. This journey really takes its toll. Even when you think you've got what you want I.e. A BFP - it's just the start of a load more worry. I started antidepressants at 6 weeks pregnant. I really didn't want to take any tablets during pregnancy but came to recognise that I really wasn't myself and I had to get better for the sake of my babies. I think it was the right decision; I am feeling a lot better now and able to face the future without being scared, which I couldn't do before. 


I'm 13 weeks today - 2nd trimester   and still physically not so great, but mentally feeling really good and starting to make plans for this baby. Feels like I can finally believe this will turn out ok


----------



## JanaH

Amanda great news about your scan. 

Just a quick update as I'm in a hurry... Sudden change of things... We went to see the nurse this morning to plan our next step. We will start our FET on my next day 1, I'm booked in for endo scratch this afternoon, the reason for me being in a hurry had to come back home to shave my legs   . We should start injections next week  eeeekkkkk.... Loads of different meds this time, will be on heparin, progynova, crinone and small dose of pregnyl. Really hope it works and the pregnancy stay this time round. 


Have to run will catch up when back


----------



## amandaloo

Jana - how did your scratch go ? I had it before this cycle . Was dreading it but went ok didn't hurt me just felt weird . Really hope your cycle works  . Do you have an idea when you will start ?

Carrie- glad your feeling better   lovely scan pic


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Well hello everyone - sorry been away at Dad's so not had much time.

Amanda and Jana - very best of luck! Praying and rooting for you    

Carrie - well done in meeting a milestone. Fab news.   Hope the sickness does not wear you down too much. Although I was not very very sick with E, I was more sick than I was with C. I had a few episodes, particularly when very tired where I had to run to the toilet to be sick this time. I must have had an under current of nausea throughout though as I gained no weight at all and in fact my post pregnancy weight was 1 stone less than my booking. Goes to show how much I could not eat.

Hak - so sorry you are suffering emotionally and physically. You are growing 2 babies and nurturing 3 so that is very draining. You need to find some way to recharge your batteries and think really positively about how amazing it will all be. You will cope. It is amazing how you work out ways to do things. You also need to set up some help. Have you contacted Home Start? This is an organisation that helps people just as yourself. Maybe they could come now and get to know you and Addi and take her for a bit to make her less clingy and give you a rest. 
I worried myself sick about how C would cope with being away from me for 2 nights. But in the end he stayed at his friends house for a whole week and was absolutely fine. He was a bit weird when he came to the hospital to see me and very sweet - little voice, very cuddly etc, but was fine and had lots of fun with his friends, ate loads, behaved himself, went to bed on time and was generally good as gold.
I have a great book for preparing toddlers for being older sibling - Dino Baby. C loves it and we still have to read it every night now.

I am having a few issues with C now as he wants my undivided attention and is playing up when I feed E. He torments the animals, gets things he should not have even by pulling chairs over to get whatever it is out of his reach, nags for chocolate and has a tantrum, throws things, pulls the cushion out from where I am feeding. Been chatting to the nursery nurses from HV team and working on giving him one to one time, physical exercise (now I am back on my feet and there are windows of no rain we can go to the park) and giving him things to do when I am feeding that we can discuss and do while the baby feeds quietly - like playdough,  bricks, books etc.

It is worth spending some time thinking about how you can ensure Addi is still number one when the twins arrive.

Juju - not long now - it has flown by.  

Pinkcat - some above applies to you too. As for co-sleeping, when I actually have time to go to bed I cosleep with C and E has had to self soothe a lot from early on as you cannot always attend to them straight away with another one to care for so she is really good at going in the moses basket and sleeping. C hated it and it was a real struggle to get him to stay in a basket. E is a very different baby. So you never know. They all have their own personalities even from being in the womb.

ABC, NM, MM anyone else I have missed hope you are well.

As for me, I just found out I am going to be a step grandmother come August and C and E will be uncle and aunt at their young age. My 18 year old step son is having a baby with his girlfriend. I hope it works out for them. He is turning out to be a very mature young man and to be honest with all the fertility troubles we have had I am pleased for him that he does not have to go through that. Just hope he keeps his head screwed on. I have given him a pep talk tonight in a nice way saying that children are the most precious gift you will ever have, make the most of it, and it is a very responsible job bringing up the next generation.

Dad is really bad communication wise. He cannot use the right words and someone told me what he is doing is speaking with word salads so nothing makes sense and it makes it impossible to understand what he wants. Very very stressful - all of it.


----------



## JanaH

Amanda good luck for your egg collection tomorrow 
The endo scratch was actually fine not at all uncomfortable. I was due to start my periods this coming Friday but I started yesterday. So I've officially started d/r first scan is next Thursday. 


Carrie how are you feeling?


Ju not long till maternity leave starts.


Hak how are you doing   


Hope everyone else is well


----------



## amandaloo

Hi

Jana - best of luck    exciting eh xx


Holly- hope C starts to settle down can't be easy  . My friend breastfed first few months with a little one under 2 and baby but they both got ill one got very very clingy a few trips to a and e with the illness and she had to give it up . It was more the clingyness of her toddler being ill she found it impossible . 

Hi to everyone

Got egg collection tomorrow . I went for another scan Sunday and my follies have grown now got four decent size ones which I'm chuffed about the other five still have a chance at catching up. A lot can happen in two days . Anyway will keep you posted


----------



## juju81

Good luck Jana with this cycle hun    how long will you down reg for?


Amanda, will be thinking of you tomorrow    it's so you time now hun


----------



## hakunamatata

Good luck for tomorrow amanda. Im at a spa day yippee


----------



## carrie lou

Amanda, best of luck sweetie, I have everything crossed for you       


Hak, ooh you lucky thing, enjoy it   


Holly, wow your stepson is going to be a dad! 18 seems so incredibly young to start a family  but I'm sure he will be great  Life with a toddler and newborn sounds challenging. I am already worrying as Zac can still be quite demanding at times... but we still have 6 months to prepare I suppose.


Jana, good luck   


Juju, how are you? Are you still off work?  


Pinkcat, Lindz, Mini, Shelley - hope you are all well  


AFM, not a good day - been sick 4 times today which is one of my worst so far, including one very hasty exit from work, gagging all the way to the toilet  I only did a 6 hour shift today but am worn out. Have asked to have my shifts changed so I can avoid long days. Really hope this improves soon


----------



## juju81

Boo to the sickness Carrie   when will you hear about the hours? Noah's still challenging and he's nearly 4 altho I will at they are becoming less!

Yeah I'm ok.  Ish! I've been back at work 2wks but actually ended up off sick today because of my pelvis.  I had to take Noah to a party at an indoor play thing and ha to climb to help him up bits and it just killed me! The doing next to nothing for 5wks really helped so think I'm going to have to accept I can't do anything now really until she's here!

Not long, I'm so excited


----------



## northernmonkey

Evening ladies,


I'm so rubbish at posting but I do manage to read everyone's news most days.  Life is crazy busy with the 3 girls and I just don't get time to post much.  So here I am and the next ones I manage will be to congratulate Amanda and Jana on their BFPS    


Amanda - good luck for tomorrow. Ju is right - this is deffo your time.   


Hak - hope you enjoyed your spa day. DH bought me a spa voucher for my birthday in December and I've lost the flippin thing. One day I might have 2 mins to try to phone them up to see if I can get a replacement.   


Carrie - glad to hear your scan went well, hope the sickness tails off soon. Are you going to find out the baby's sex?


Juju - your pregnancy seems to have gone so quickly! Is Noah excited?


Jana - good luck with this cycle, fingers crossed you and Amanda will be bump buddies    


Holly - I was trying to remember what I did with dd#2 to keep her occupied when I was feeding the baby in the early days.  I think I would read to her on the sofa while feeding but if I'm honest I suspect the tv might have also have been put to use.... Is your DH helping out much? Sorry to hear about your dad. He seems to have deteriorated rapidly - is he still at home?  


Mini - hello, hope you and your boys are well. 


Well I should really be going to bed - dh is away tonight and dd1 and 2 were nagging to sleep in my bed so I stupidly said yes... Looking forward to 7 hours of being elbowed and kicked   


Bye for now,


NM
x


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly ds1 was really difficult around ds2. Feeding was really difficult. He'd try to push baby away from me. I had to feed standing up   hv suggested preparing things for him to do etc but it didn't work. TV worked for a few minutes. It did get better tho. By wk 13 when ds2 was interacting a bit more, smiling and laughing then ds2 could actually play with him a little it got better. Ds2 self settled himself too cos I couldn't go to him straight away. 

The hardest thing was not being able to put him down because ds1 would just trample over him or kick and hit him. We couldn't have the Moses basket downstairs as he would knock it over. We got a playpen for him to lay in with a net curtain over the top to stop any flying objects from
Falling on him   

It wasn't one of the nicest period of our lives to be honest


----------



## carrie lou

Have any of you ladies tried breastfeeding in a sling? I was thinking it might be a way of making feeding a newborn easier while having hands free to deal with toddler... I'm keen to try it but don't know what type of sling to go for. I never fed Zac in a sling, since it didn't really matter if we spent the whole day on the sofa, but something tells me it will be different this time!!!


And can I apologise for last night's sorry-for-myself post   I was feeling very miserable and I'm sorry for being a grump. Will try to cheer up


----------



## northernmonkey

Carrie - I couldn't breastfeeding with baby in a sling.  She just didn't feel secure. Lots of people seem to like it but it just felt awkward to me.


----------



## amandaloo

Hi

Carrie - don't apologise  it's best to get it of your chest can make you feel better  

Might mini- sounds like that period was hard work  


Had egg collection 10 collected I'm so pleased fingers crossed now hope they get jiggy with it xx


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## carrie lou

Amanda, that's great Hun   I got ten eggs too! Best of luck for lots of lovely embies


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## JanaH

Good number of eggies Amanda


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Well done Amanda


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## juju81

Well done Amanda     they are getting jiggy


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## abcdefgh

Well done Amanda, great news   

Hope everyone else along with their bumps and babies is well. Sorry I've been quiet on here recently. Life seems to be very busy at the moment, and it's only going to get much busier soon! Eeek


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## amandaloo

Not good news only two fertilised very upset   got to pray now they make it  .


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## JanaH

o Amanda I'm so sorry          Pray that the two that fertilised make it to transfer day and give you your BFP. Will they transfer on day 3 then?


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## carrie lou

Oh Amanda, sorry to hear that   But you still have two embies in the running. All the luck in the world, one of those is your baby


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## amandaloo

Thanks . Yes day three doubt ill get an option? They said day three on phone this morning . I'm baffled why that's happened . Me and dh both upset but I'm trying to think positive x


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## hakunamatata

Goodness honey could they not give you some explanation.  Was it egg maturity.....
Youre defo still in the running and one of those ir two could be strong enough for 10 but I understand what a blow that call must have been. Try and enjoy some sunshine on your skin and imagine that brightness helping your embies to grow. You supported me so much this am I would love to do the same for you. Big hugs and positive thoughts coming your way x


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## juju81

Oh Amanda hun   I do know a couple o ladies on on the NOA thread who only had one embie, those embies are now a 6month old and 4 year old and I have a feeling ceci only had one too altho I could be making that up    

When will transfer be?


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## amandaloo

Hak-   hope your still feeling bit better  . And anytime   They just said that it was very unusual I think they are baffled too as had good fertilisation last time  . They said Sperm still ok this morn and swimming about so I guess it's my eggs? Can't think of anything else ?  . I thought they did iCsi if it wasn't looking good   I did ask but she didn't say ? Embryologist always blind me with science find it hard to take all information in ..I did have another egg that tried to fertilise but she said it only had one ( something can't remember name) so she couldnt class it as fertilised . They said they will continue to leave sperm with eggs but said it was extremely rare for anything to happen now so don't even get my hopes up about that .. Yes was gutted cried this morning as now I've no hope of any more goes if this didn't work and its our last go . I just need now to think positive and hope to god them eggs make it too Friday  

Juju - that's good to hear


----------



## amandaloo

Sorry forgot to say Friday juju


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Oh Amanda - that sounds disappointing. But two embryos fertilised by normal IVF is still potential twins!
My clinic seem to always recommend ICSI with frozen donor sperm unless you discuss it and specifically ask for IVF only. I don't know whether it was because my 39 year old eggs at the time were at risk of having stiffer outer coating. I know they sometimes do assisted hatching with older eggs because they are harder.

I   the two you have are miracle baby/ies. Look at my frozen embryo now - I only had one embryo left in my FET cycle and it was my last go. No room for error. She is now wearing a little dress and tights and half sleeping, half snuffling for more milk. You have hope!

Carrie - I don't think you can really prepare a toddler for a baby. As before they are born it is an abstract concept. They don't have the cognition to understand that the stories you are telling them are any more than a game or story in that moment. They are very much me me me at this age and living in the moment. They can't think through the implications of how they will feel until this interloper intrudes into their world and they feel those feelings. You can work on turn taking, playing quietly when asked in front of you and you commenting on their games while you do something else, sharing and controlling emotions, but I don't think until it happens you know how they will be. C is lovely with E most of the time. He does love her and is very sweet and gentle most of the time. He just turns on the ''me, I am here'' buttons when I am feeding. He helped me bath her this morning, he has been getting her dummy all off his own back when she has cried. He asked to feed ''him'' earlier - so sweet. He sat himself where I sit with a cushion on his lap and I put E on him and then he said under his breath ''oh, I need booby'' and pulled up his top and gave her a cuddle.

I am going to upload some photos and try and post a link later.


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## hakunamatata

Would love to see pics x


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## carrie lou

Oh Holly, that's adorable   "I need booby"   I suppose you're right, Zac talks about the baby but I don't think really understands what's going to happen.


My clinic just did normal IVF for me, they said they rarely have to do icsi with donor sperm as it's usually good quality. But maybe it does depend on the eggs   I would have thought they would go straight to icsi if there was a problem though. 


Amanda, I can totally understand your disappointment. But hang in there. I know of a couple of ladies on another thread, both had 2 day transfers, one with one embie, the other with two - and both now have gorgeous little boys. Best of luck for Friday Hun


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

See if this works....

password newbaby2014

http://s1083.photobucket.com/user/hopefulhazel1/slideshow/privateprofessionalmay12/NewBaby2014

Everyone else - please share your photos!

/links


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## juju81

Lovely pics holly, especially the last one   


I don't know how you do photobucket and not sure how to upload here but will have lads on ** if anyone else wants to become 'friends' haha


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## abcdefgh

Amanda - Sorry to hear it was diappointing news. That's two chances of a baby though - have everything crossed for you.   

Mistletoe - Aww, they're both beautiful. 

My clinic also do ICSI as standard with frozen donor sperm - just another example of how treatment varies so much from place to place  . I guess only the strongest make it with IVF, though, so you probably have two good embies there, Amanda.


----------



## amandaloo

Great pics holly 

Thanks for words of encouragement feel a bit better about it all now .


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

sorry youre feeling rubbish manda. This happened to us but we had no fertilisation at all with our first attempt with donor sperm. I thought we would be ok with bog standard IVF, the embryologist thought so too but it was too late. Once they add the sperm its too late to do ICSI    my eggs were hard it turned out. The sperm was fine. We did ICSI after that but m/c then did assisted hatching which tried to bite me yesterday     


anyway, with lucas' cycle we only had 3, by transfer day we had 2. we got 16 eggs but obviously all were rubbish    we did transfer on day 2. is there any chance you can do transfer early?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

photos are lovely Holly! 

Heres mine

http://s536.photobucket.com/user/mini04pink/library/boys

Password is boysff

/links


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## northernmonkey

Mini - your boys look a proper couple of cheeky chappies   Very cute. 



Holly - lovely pics too. Charley looks a very proud brother and Emily is beautiful. my dd is 14 months at the weekend and Emily has loads more hair than her.    


Amanda - sorry you didn't get as many embies as you'd hoped but as someone else said these two must be real toughies and will keep going.


----------



## Babdee

Hello ladies, I've just found this thread and was hoping I could join you?
I've mostly been on the iui thread, and finally on our 6th DIUI we had success and I'm now 13 weeks pg with number 2. Carrie Lou, looks like I'm only a day or 2 behind you!
Juju, I remember you from last summer on the iui board; really not long to go now! Very exciting!
Amanda, sorry to read your disappointing news. I don't know much about ivf, but I've got everything crossed for you. One of my best friends had icsi last summer, got 2 embies, and her baby boy is due in April.  
It's good to meet others who have donor conceived children also; it's good to know we're not alone  hugs to all you lovely ladies xxx


----------



## JanaH

Welcome Babdee and congrats on your pregnancy


Amanda how are you doing?


----------



## northernmonkey

Welcome Babdee.   You and I have had a similar journey - success on first IUI for baby #1 and six attempts for baby #2. Congratulations - how's your pregnancy going? Will you find out what you're having?

Amanda - is ET tomorrow?


----------



## amandaloo

Hi  

Mighty mini- thanks for all that info I'm going to ask them about assisted hatching when they ring me didn't even know what it was had to look it up ! 

Jana- how's downreg going? I'm ok today thanks albeit a bit nervous 

Baddee- welcome   hope you are ok how's your pregnancy? 

Northern monkey - how are you 

Abcde- thanks   hope your ok ?

Haven't been called yet from unit expecting to be called soon ! They said morning!


----------



## carrie lou

Babdee, welcome and congratulations   Always good to have another bump buddy   Yes you must be just behind me, I'm 14 weeks tomorrow. Looking forward to chatting to you   


Mini, lovely photos   


Amanda, good luck for the call    


Hello NM, Jana, Abcd and everyone else   


Loving everyone's photos. I will try to sort out my photobucket account and share some of Zac.


----------



## amandaloo

Not good news again doesn't look like ill have a transfer and if I did it would be an extremely slim chance of it working . Oh dear.. One of embryos is deformed so can't use and other is very slow and hasn't yet done what it's supposed to do . They told me to go tomorrow but it would be a slim chance if I went ahead with a transfer that's if it grew any more she said dont get my hopes up . Think ill just be going In to speak to consultant and that's it  . The end of the road


----------



## JanaH

Amanda so sorry about your news


----------



## carrie lou

Oh Amanda I'm so sorry Hun. Don't know what to say except I'm thinking of you and sending all my love


----------



## Fizzypop

Oh Amanda, thinking of you xxx and    for an overnight miracle for the last remaining xxx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Big hugs hun


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Amanda


----------



## juju81

Babdee, yeah I recognised your name when when I saw you had posted.  Congrats lovely.  6wks to go and she's 4/5th engaged! Not long at all!

Amanda, oh my god I'm devastated for you.  Seriously   it's not all over yet hun, see what they say tomorrow.  How's hubby?xx


----------



## abcdefgh

Huge hugs Amanda


----------



## amandaloo

Sorry only just had time to come back on . Thank you so much you are all really kind   . What a nightmare this whole journey is eh   

Juju- he's taking it badly same as me he's not been good through this cycle anyway he's been really stressed with it all . X


----------



## shelleysugar

Thinking of you Amanda      x


----------



## Babdee

Amanda, I'm so so sorry       Really   for good news in the morning for you both xxx sending lots of love xxx


----------



## hakunamatata

Huge hugs amanda nit surprised youre both struggling. Praying for something special overnight. X


----------



## Babdee

Thank you ladies for the lovely welcome.

Northernmonkey, thank you  yes, similar journeys! I stupidly went in for #2 thinking it would be just as quick! Going ok so far. Had a small bleed just before my 12 week scan, but all was fine. Think it was from lifting my 3.5 yr old & flying him round the room! I'm torn between finding out if a boy or girl... But I'm guessing boy!

Carrie lou, I put myself at 14 weeks on Monday! Although I've been given an EDD of 30 Aug  when is yours? Have you had much sickness? I've had all day nausea (no actual sickness), which finally seems to have passed now  X

Juju, only 6 weeks to go?! That's flown by! How are you feeling? X

Hello and hugs to everyone xxx


----------



## carrie lou

Babdee, I'm due 29th August   I've been quite sick since about 6 weeks, all day nausea and vomiting a few times a day. It seems to be improving now though. I was the same with my first.   I am also having to lift my 2.5 year old, it's getting harder but sometimes it's difficult to avoid e.g. getting him in and out of the car! Also he often wants cuddles and is too young to understand why it's difficult for me. 


Amanda, thinking of you today


----------



## northernmonkey

Amanda -   thinking of you today and praying that your embryo has caught up overnight.


----------



## juju81

Babdee, when is your oldest 4? Sounds like we'll have similar age gaps.  Noah's 4 in just over 2wks then this one is due April! I'm ok'ish! Suffering with spd but apart from that ok.  Defo find out what your having  

Carrie, when do you find out?


----------



## amandaloo

Hi 

Just had a call from Leeds still to go in for a chat . The embryo divided overnight but it's only 2 cell and it should be 6-8 so it's a full day behind which is not good . Have to discuss if we want it put back . What a nightmare my gut feeling tells me to put it back nothing to loose x


----------



## JanaH

Amanda know idea what to say.    Only you and dh can make the decision but if it was me I would have gone with my gut, like you say you have nothing to loose. Take care thinking of you


----------



## carrie lou

I think I'd do the same Amanda, nothing to lose like you say, you might as well give it a chance. Best of luck sweetie, thinking of you


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Yeah I think I'd go ahead or else you might always be thinking what if. At least you've gone in with an open mind. Just see what they say. I honestly know how you are feeling. I think It was worse than the mc.    You just don't expect to to get no embies in a cycle.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Amanda - if you put it back you will have to be prepared for the possibility of mc. on balance I would put back as where there is life there is hope, but it sounds like it is very slow.


----------



## amandaloo

Hi 

Just wanted to say a massive thanks to you all and sorry if I've taken over this board last few days   I am thinking about you all too xxx and thanks for all your advice too xx

I didn't have the transfer consultant said its a remote chance of making a pregnancy . He also said  he wouldn't have it put back ...The biggest reason though that we didn't Is that they will carry on monitoring it until Sunday . At least they will keep looking at it . If by some miracle it's ok on Sunday then it will be put back but it's very unlikely. There was nothing wrong with my eggs or the sperm either on day of collection . Everything was looking good .

Mighty mini- this is the worst by far I've felt in the whole time I've been doing tx it's gutting     thanks


----------



## JanaH

Amanda


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Oh hun I'm sorry. Sadly it is just 'one of those damn things'    


Is it really your last go or is it too soon for that?


----------



## carrie lou

Sorry to hear that Amanda. You've done the right thing taking the consultant's advice. All my love hun, thinking of you


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Amanda - so sorry hun. I know it is completely gutting now, but you will move forward eventually. There are options to look at unless you are absolutely certain that it was your last go. There are always options. One is to move on and just enjoy what you have with your little boy. Although today is the worst you have ever felt, I am sure the day he was born was the best you had ever felt....ever!!!


----------



## juju81

Amanda   


Pinkcat, sorry your suffering lovely.  Not much longer     fab sizes for twinnies    I'm on iron but actually haven't been affected by them and I find raspberry krusha fab lol 


34wks today girls, eeeeeeek!


----------



## Babdee

Amanda, hope you're ok. Thinking of you    xxxx

Carrie lou, that sounds rough 😕 I had all day nausea and was sick a few times total (not every day) with my son Jacob, but no vomiting this time. I do think it's one of the worst bits of pregnancy. And when you put so much into getting pregnant in the first place, the feeling of guilt because you're not happy and enjoying it. That's what I've found, anyway!
Thankfully Jacob is able to get himself in his car seat, so I don't need to lift him too much now!

Juju, yes that sounds like an almost identical age gap! Jacob will be 4 at the end of July. My EDD is exactly one month later! I had been worried the age gap would be too big, but I'm quite happy with it now  sorry to hear you have spd. I had that last time, although not too badly (I could still move. My friend had to stop work early with hers). Did you have it with Noah too? Still have a few weeks left to decide if we find out the sex! Think I'll change my mind a few times between now and then!!

Hi pinkcat, sorry you're not feeling great 😕 not too long to go though 

Hi to everyone else  currently having a nice weekend away at the in-laws, so I'm getting a little break from running around! Xxx


----------



## carrie lou

Babdee, you're so right - I often catch myself thinking I wish I could just feel a bit better/stop throwing up every morning/have a little more energy.... Then I remember how lucky I am and how many girls would give their right arm to be in my position right now, and the guilt hits me  Hopefully we will soon start feeling better and be able to enjoy it more!

Juju, eek 6 weeks to go! Exciting 

Pinkcat, good to hear the twins are both good weights. Hope your appointment goes well 

Amanda, how are you holding up lovely? 

I have put some photos of my cheeky boy on photobucket. Password is zac2014 (hope this works!).

http://s1268.photobucket.com/user/carrie_lou/library/********/Zac%202014

/links


----------



## My Son is My World

Carrie - just had a nose at your piccies. Well what a cheeky little chappie you have on your hands!! That is a smile that could melt any heart, and as for those curls....what a beautiful little boy you have  x


----------



## carrie lou

Thank you Emlore, I think so too but I may be biased


----------



## juju81

It won't let me in! Says your password is protected lol

Babdee, yeah i had it with Noah.  It's definitely been worse tho time once it set in


----------



## hakunamatata

I couldnt get in either doh.

Hope youre ok Amanda.  X x


----------



## amandaloo

Hi 

Lovely pics Carrie he's so cute  . Just been trying to do it via app on my phone but keeps crashing   will keep trying 

It's 5 cell today but literally in same position as I was the other day . I asked them to check it until tomorrow which they are happy to do . I will be asking them to take it out of culture tomorrow which I guess won't be easy but a few days has helped us get used to it even though it has been hard  . I feel better when I'm with DS spending time with him and realising how lucky we are . We have said this was our last go but we will let the dust settle and talk again in few weeks. I want to make sure we are making right decision 

Juju- try clicking link again it did that first time I tried to look at hollys


----------



## juju81

Wow look at his hair! Beautiful

Been thinking of you Amanda.  Can't begin to imagine how you are feeling right now


----------



## juju81

http://s1374.photobucket.com/user/juliegrieves81/library/Mobile%20Uploads

Might ask for password noah2014

Does this work

/links


----------



## juju81

Thought id bung a 34wk bump pic in too!

How do you put a password on it?


----------



## amandaloo

http://s1205.photobucket.com/user/amandaloo191/library/Mobile%20Uploads

Password
pictures14

Juju- thanks  . Juju you put a password on it when you are in the app setting it up to share

/links


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

carrie lovely photos. His hair is lovely!   


Babdee - welcome to the group. Congrats to your pg.   


Amanda - Hooe you are bearing up hun. Message me if you need to      


Ju


----------



## carrie lou

Ahh, don't we have some good looking babies  


And Juju, bump looking very neat  I should add a pic of mine, can't believe I'm showing so much already


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

thats 2nd babies for you!    I was showing at 8 weeks. Everyone in work guessed!


----------



## amandaloo

Hi 

Mighty mini- thanks  

Juju- have you finished work now? Won't be long  

Ceci- how are you?

Well we made the right decision the embryo stopped developing at five cells . Glad I didn't put myself through a transfer and a 2ww . Went to sealife centre yesterday which Noah really enjoyed 


On a different note .....

Just a quick question has anyone experienced anything like this with their children . Noah is driving me mad at moment for the past month or so he has been laughing in he night hysterically at times moving up and down the bed ( as if being tickled type moving) . Hes sitting up and doing it too and talking sometimes. It can go on for a long time anything up to two hours and tonight since 1am  . I've asked people at work and they think its strange . The things I've checked for is he asleep - no not always . I've seen him do it during the day when awake too. Also he's got up at night with me and gone to the toilet and sat on the loo and started laughing and wiggling around like hes being tickled.. I've tried various things eg not going in at all ignoring it . Going in too . Nothing is making a difference. Nap or no nap In day doesn't make a difference . Tonight he's took it one step further he's been up since 1am doing it. I've had no sleep since then . What's going on   . I'm thinking of taking him out of nursery today to see the health visitors at the clinic .


----------



## carrie lou

Gosh Amanda I've never heard of anything like that before. Think it would be a good idea to speak to HV or doctor about it.

Glad you made the right decision - like you say you now don't have the stress of a 2ww that has no chance of success. Lots of love to you


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

At least you didn't have to go through the 2ww for nothing Amanda.  

No not heard of the that before   speak to your hv. Might just be a developmental phase.


----------



## juju81

Blimey Amanda.  I was about to say it sounds like some kind of night terror but the fact he does it through the day would say its not!  How long has it been going on? Could he be doing it for attention? I would suggest just ignoring it and when he's doing it through the day try and distract him by getting him to do something else! Strange one.  After a while I think it would drive me mad too  

I'm so sorry about your cycle.  Have you definitely ruled out another cycle.  Big hugs lovely  

AFM, mat leave starts next Friday.  I'm more than ready now.  I don't know what I was thinking working this far (36wks) and wish I'd finished at 34 like I did with Noah! I'm sure some people are fine working to the end but my jobs too stressful   oh well, my 2 days off now so going to chill out


----------



## amandaloo

Its weird isnt it ? The day time is more short lived its more like a few mins what I see in the day for instance is he's sat down in car seat or his chair at table and he starts putting his hands in the air wiggling them quickly about like a shake but not as bad . Then he starts giggling hysterically and moving on the chair again like being tickled  he's not doing anything in particular to get him excited in any way . I'm going to take him to clinic today . I thought he'd grow out of it but its been a while now . 

Juju- I don't know in my heart I want another but my head is telling me I should stop  . Tried to explain it in my diary on last section most probably not very well !


----------



## juju81

Yeah I read your diary.  Makes me sad for you.  Do you have any more sperm?we had said we'd use our sperm and that would be it.  At some point you have to say enough is enough and only you know when that 'enough' is    nothing takes the yearning away and although you do have N, it doesn't mean you can't be devastated at the thought of not having anymore.  Feel for you lovely I honestly do


----------



## carrie lou

Oh Amanda, I've just read the last bit of your diary and feel so sad for you.   I agree with Ju there has to be a point where you decide to stop, but I know for myself I would find that a very hard decision to make. Good luck with whatever you decide sweetheart. All my love to you


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie and juju -  . Hard  . Got 5 ampules of sperm left . So would have enough to have a couple more go's . Thanks you two   means a lot all of your support on here . Just wish I had better news for you all x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Amanda going back to DS. the day time wiggles sound like epilepsy.(don't want to alarm you at all)  But obviously I can't see him but that doesn't explain the long night time laughs. They wouldn't go on that long. Is he aware of what is going on? If you ask him to stop or ask him to do something would he do it?


----------



## amandaloo

Mighty mini - can understand where your coming from . I never thought of that . The arm wiggle think looks more like to me a build up of energy that he's letting out. I've seen a few epileptic fits with my job doesn't look the same . Yes when he does it in the day my dad tells him to stop and he does . I was talking to him in the night last night and I said stop being silly or else no tv in the morning and he replied Nooo in a way toddlers reply ! However i dont always get a response. I asked him what he was laughing at and he is quiet .  Will let you know what they say today x


----------



## amandaloo

Health visitor thinks it could possibly be behavioural but wants me to book Him into see GP to rule out anything medical which she doubts it would be. Mighty mini she did say about  seizures at one point but then said she did not think it was with how I described it . Booked him in for next week .


----------



## northernmonkey

Amanda - really sorry about the outcome of your cycle.  Like the other ladies I was so hoping that this would be your month.  It must be so tough trying to decide whether this is really the end of your tx, especially when you still have some sibling sperm stored.  I hope you and your dh can come to a decision that you're both sure about.  In the meantime enjoy your lovely little boy.    Also if you do decide to give it another go, would it be worth looking at other clinics?  
Carrie - I just read your elastic band trick on another thread - I used to do that too   
I'm having a ridiculoulsly sentimental wobble at the minute.  We're supposed to be moving house next month and most of the time I can't wait - we've completely outgrown this house, the neighbours p**s me off, we have car parking issues and I can never invite people round because we don't have space!  However.... we've been through the best and worst times in this house.  We found out about the infertility here, we went through all the tx, got two of our bfp's here, brought two babies home here from the hospital and of dd#2 was born in our living room.  I'm so gutted to be leaving the place where my most precious memories are centred around.  DH thinks I'm a nutter and that my memories will come with me so what's the problem.  I know he's right really but I'm so sad about it tonight.  Can someone tell me to give myself a slap please.   
Right, better go and make packed lunches for tomorrow. By the way does anyone's LO start school in September?  If so did you know they get free school meals until year 3?  It's a new national government scheme being brought in.  Problem is my dd#2 is a right fussy eater so I'll probably still have to send her in with packed lunch just so that I know she'll eat properly rather than leaving the good stuff and tucking into the cake....


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Nm yes ds starts school sept.  Going to get him svhool dinners. He eats everything at nursery but nothing at home. So I think he'll be ok!! 

Amanda glad she took it seriously and didn't fob you off. The reason I mentioned seizures is cos 2 of my clients have seizures where they laugh. One of them waves and laughs historically. Especially afterwards. But they wouldn't go on all night like ds does   He'd go Into status if it was seizures! Sounds like behaviour


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Oh nm here's your slap


----------



## northernmonkey

Ow Mini too hard!   Is ds looking forward to school or have you not really talked about it yet? 

Amanda - I was going to suggest you also post on the main parenting behavioural threads re ds's giggling/wriggling, perhaps someone else has experienced the same.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Yes he can't wait to go to school    He'll soon learn it's not all cracked up to be!!


----------



## northernmonkey

Oh I don't know, my dd is in year 2 now and still loves it, she can never wait for school hols to end so she can see all her friends again. Says a lot about my company!!


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Well yeah says a lot about mine when he tells me that he wants to go to nursery everyday and not stay home with me


----------



## Babdee

Been looking at your photos; you all have gorgeous children 😃

Thank you Mighty Mini 😊

It's also good to hear there are others showing early; I'd put mine down to all the extra food I can't stop eating!!  

Amanda, I'm so sorry about your cycle, but glad you made the right decision. Enjoy every moment with your little boy. I found each time we had a failed cycle, that my DS cheered me up in a way I never expected. I hope you & your DH can be at peace with wherever you choose to go from here. With lots of love xxx
As for your DS's wiggles, I hope your GP can help next week. Be interested to hear what they say.

Nm, yes my DS also starts school in Sept. Am trying to prepare him; almost every morning he says he doesn't want to go to preschool (although he loves it when he's there & never wants to leave when I collect him!), so I keep saying he has to go every day when he starts school! (At the mo he's only 3 mornings a week). Less than 6 weeks until we all find out which school...!

Nm, I know how you feel about moving, but here's a little slap anyway!! 😜 we moved almost 18 months ago from our first home. And like you we had so many memories from there, good & bad, got married, new jobs, azoospermia diagnosis, treatment & BFP, brought DS home... There are still things I miss, especially as I drive past the old house often, but I remind myself of all the things the old house didn't have, like parking, a garden, a kitchen that could fit more than 1 person in it! It took a while for all of us to settle, and it was particularly hard when DS kept saying that he wanted to go home 😞 but now this is home, with new memories 😊 moving house is def v v stressful, & DH and I didn't get on very well round that time! Once you've moved and unpacked, I'm sure you'll feel more settled. And like your DH says, your memories will come with you  one other thing, I recommend saying goodbye to each room before you lock up for the last time, however silly that sounds! Xx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

I've been at dad's. Lonnnng story for later.

Going out to night wih work colleagues and taking Emily with me!

Quick   for Amanda.

My friend is now 30 weeks preggers from CRM after more than 10 cycles, ohss and multiple miscarriages, Might be worth a look. Another friend is due in next couple weeks again CRM after multiple tries elsewhere.


----------



## amandaloo

Northern monkey- A few slaps from me ! I can understand what you mean and where your coming from but I'm sure once you move you will make lots of new memories  

Holly- i couldnt do CRM I live In Lancashire it's too far to go . It's bad enough doing an hour and 20 min journey . Sounds great though . We are still to have a talk yet too 

Babdee- thanks for the lovely kind words  . Hope he gets the school you wanted x


----------



## JanaH

Amanda how are you doing   


Juju not long to go bet you are excited in meeting you little girl 


Holly hope you are ok, must be so hard to cope with all the stress around your dad.    Hope you enjoyed your night out.


Hope everyone else is doing well 


I had my d/r scan this morning everything is looking good, so started next meds. Next scan is booked for 20th and transfer will happen on 27th. Won't be able to do hpt's as I will be injecting hcg every other day. My DH was in a car accident this morning. Will find out if its a write off tomorrow or next week. My favourite nurse at the clinic is leaving tomorrow I'm so sad as I really got on well with her.


----------



## wibble-wobble

Just dipping my toe in here, I've been stalking probably for about a month now but felt it was too soon to post.

I'm just over 9 weekss pregnant with my first donor baby, hubby has noa he was diagnosed in 2011. We haven't been through as much as some of you ladies on here, we decided after the first negative tese that we didn't have the emotional energy let alone the funds for a second opinion ( well not without re mortgaging and getting in stupid amounts of debt that we wouldn't be able to afford) We had our first icsi in 2012 and after all the disappointment from tests results biopsies etc the negative result was such a blow, that it took a year and a half to be ready to go back for lil Fred the frostie we had from the tx. I don't feel as bad stalking now that I've sad a bit about myself.


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## carrie lou

Welcome Wibble wobble, great to see you over here    


Holly, hope you enjoyed your night out and Emily had a settled evening!    


Jana, good luck for your cycle    Hope DH is ok after his accident   


Amanda, hope you're ok


----------



## juju81

Welcome wibble   when is your scan?

Carrie, when is your next scan?

Janah, what nurse is leaving? One from Shirley oaks?


----------



## JanaH

Juju yes Di is leaving today


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## juju81

Noooooooooooooo   I LOVE her  . I'm gutted.  Absolutely gutted.  Why is she leaving? I might email her now


----------



## JanaH

She is going to a clinic in London


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ju you don't need Di anymore     


Welcome wibble.  Congrats on your pg. how are you feeling?


----------



## carrie lou

Ju, my anomaly scan is on 14th April. Doesn't seem so far away now! It's really weird because that would have been my due date if my original fresh cycle had worked   It's also the day before my mum's 60th birthday and she's decided she wants to come along to the scan as an early birthday treat   All good omens I hope.   


I also will have a consultant appointment a few weeks after this but not sure if they will scan me again then? Also does anyone know if they refer you to consultant just because of IVF or would there be another reason - only I'm not sure why I've been referred   I never saw a consultant at all with Zac but then he was IUI, perhaps that makes a difference?


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie- it's because you had ivf . I couldn't be midwifery led at my appointments had to see Drs too .. Anyway I asked and they said it was because I had ivf . I ended up asking them later down the line to let me be midwifery led and they let me .

Welcome Wibble- many congratulations on yor pg xxx

Jana - keeping all crossed for you    sorry to hear about the crash 

Juju- is it your last day today at work?

Afm- well I managed going back to work yesterday albeit a bit daydreamy at times ! I feel a bit cheated like I haven't had a proper stab at it .   . I haven't talked to my DH yet but I'm trying to weigh up everything in my mind . Been talking to my friend today she thinks I should try again and if the same happens then call it a day . Can I ask you ladies who did ivf what you did about work especially if you had numerous cycles ? Did you take annual leave or sign of sick ?


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## carrie lou

I mainly used annual leave Amanda, I was lucky my boss was understanding and happy for me to take annual leave at short notice since she knew what it was for. I was only working 2.5 days a week though so if I was lucky appointments would fall on my days off. Except for my last 2ww when I got my consultant to sign me off sick after ET for a few days. I was supposed to do a 12 hour shift when I would have been 2 days post transfer and didnt feel happy about it. It was a new job and I didn't fancy explaining the ins and outs to my new boss so decided getting signed off "for gynae reasons"   was the simplest way.


----------



## JanaH

Amanda my consultant signed me off from ec until test date. For scans I tried my best to do them either before work or on my off days. Does your work have a IVF policy?


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## amandaloo

Jana- yes I've just used my 5 days special leave I'm allowed off per year x


----------



## ceci.bee

Hi everyone

Wibble congratulations and welcome to the thread, lovely to see you here.

Amanda, I asked my GP for a letter saying I had 'on-going gynaecological problems' and showed that to my boss who allowed me off when I needed to, he didn't ask any more. You also are entitled on top of your annual leave to I think 28 days unpaid 'parental leave', which you could use for your cycle. Good luck! 

Janah good luck for your upcoming cycle, I hope that it goes smoothly and am keeping everything        for you hun

Hi everyone else, hope you are all ok. we are back in London after a total whirlwind few weeks and are sort of getting sorted, very weird being back here properly, Joshi is doing better than me I think at coping with all the changes   , going to make a clinic appointment soon and get ready to get off the rollercoaster, have to be more settled to give up caffiene and alcohol though, the two are getting me through the days at the mo! 

lots of love
Ceci


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Welcome home ceci   

Amanda we've got 5 days for ivf. Plus my manager is really good. I Just told her when the scans were and possible date for ec etc. I was put off rota after et and was told to take any time off I needed. Think I probably took a bit of annual leave. Glad you got back to work.


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## juju81

Amanda, I got given 10 days if i matched it.  Working part time meant that I could just switch some days around tho


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

This time I asked if I could time my ET to a Thursday if possible as with an FET it is possible to do that if you stay on the oestrogen. You have to be on oestrogen for at least 10 days before starting progesterone, but it does not matter if you stay on oestrogen for a long time with no difference in pregnancy rates as this is how they match donors and recipients. It just so happened that it worked out really well. My ET was on the Fridayin the end and it was a day 6 blast so I did not have to take any time off work. I can't actually remember whether I took the Monday or Tuesday off.

Scans though I had to ask for loads of time out. My DR process went on for about 6 months. I timed as many as I could with days off, but there were some that had to be done in work. I took work home or on the train and told my boss what pieces of work I would do to make up as much time as possible. There were a couple of important meetings I had to miss, but my boss was understanding.

Of course as soon as you are pregnant they have to let you have whatever time you need for antenatal care.

Parental leave is not 28 days. It is 4 of your ''normal'' weeks at work each year until they are 5 or you reach a limit of 18 weeks unpaid leave. You can only take a max of 4 weeks in one year and it has to be in 1 week blocks with a notice period and the employer can delay it (not refuse it) in reasonable circumstances.
So if you work part time like 3 days a week, you can have 12 days off in one year. It is also per child so you could have 18 weeks off for a second child too until they are 5 years old.
If they are adopted or disabled you can take leave until they are 18.


----------



## JanaH

Welcome back Ceci, hope you settle in soon.


----------



## carrie lou

Welcome back Ceci! Hope the weather was not too much of a shock


----------



## hakunamatata

Happy weekend ladies we made it. 

Welcome bavk Ceci hope it doesnt feel too strange to be back.

Good luck janah really hoping this cycle is lucky for you. It must be hard juggling work, I had isdued juggling addi this time. Hope you get it sorted.

Amanda at thd end of the day only you will know when enough is enough. 

Welcome ww these girls are fantastic. 

Afm physically still struggling and had family probs which pushed me over the edge so unfort back on 5mg of olanzapine.  I was only getting 2 hours sleep which I couldnt function on. Night begore last I got 8 and last night even more. I do not like this morning groggy feeling tho, and worry until Ermantrude and flossy kick in am. But I had to mske a sensible decision for sll my girls because if I get ill I will be on triple yhe dose. I feel so guilty thinking thst they are drugged too but what could I do. 

Sorry about typos on mobile in bed still. Have twins training tomorrow today im gojng slone after all as vhjldcsre fell through. Lobing this spring westher. Sending somjng virtual daffodils to you sll


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## juju81

Hak   I think it's good you've one back on them.  I coul sense you were struggling and was going to suggest it   hope you feel better soon.  It's a lot to get your head around.  The girls will all be fine  . Do you get much movement from them through the night? My little one doesn't at all.  Unless I wake and start talking! I'm hopeful it might mean she sleeps better then Noah did lol!

Welcome back ceci, get back on the treatment train


----------



## amandaloo

Ceci- welcome back   hope you settle back into things soon . Best of luck with planning next cycle which clinic will you use?

Hak- 5 mg of Olanzapine is a small dose compared to the ladies I've looked after who have taken it whilst pregnant and all their baby's were fine  . I'm glad you've made a decision to do that at the end of the day your health is very important too it's no good you getting ill   . Sorry I didn't know you weren't taking it when we had that chat or else I would have perhaps suggested it then  

Holly- thanks for the info again I had no idea   about parental leave 

Afm- haven't even spoken to DH yet or made a final decision it's early days I suppose in just trying to weigh everything up  . To be honest I'm not sure I can even afford it all


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Hak I'm so glad you are back on them. A happy mummy=happy babies.   Sleep Is so important.  

Amanda. Who can afford ivf?? But we do it


----------



## carrie lou

Hak     I know it's not the same but I've been on antidepressants since 6 weeks pregnant. I didn't want to take any meds while pregnant but I came to realise I was not myself and something had to change, I really was not coping with life. Like you I did it for the sake of my babies. I can honestly say I am a better, more patient mother since I've been on them. You've made the right decision honey


----------



## hakunamatata

Thanks ladles youre simply fabulous


----------



## carrie lou




----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I've just. Fainted round a friends house     I have no idea why


----------



## ceci.bee

Hakuna         so sorry you are struggling, sounds like you have made the best decision for you and your babies. Hope the meds keep you in the right place for the next while   

Mini, anything you want to share about fainting.......................   

I have just finished unpacking finally, and found in a box all our fertility correspondence, and a picture of the 8 cell embie before transfer that became Joshi - lovely but a bit surreal!

llots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Awww that's sweet! No, no surprises.    Think it was a virus. Was weird tho. I bashed my head on the floor and my glasses are bent


----------



## juju81

Haven't you only just replaced your glasses


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Yep!   I've got bump on my eye from the crash


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Just been redding about fainting and looks like I was dehydrated


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## hakunamatata

Poor mini  

Less groggy from meds this am which is good as its my most productive time. Addi up 5 45. Prepared caserole 2nd load of washing on and washed and tidied up. Addi dsnce this am which I do with her but bacon roll after at church cafe! Happy monday ladies.


----------



## amandaloo

Mini- hope your ok  . Sounds like you went down with a bump ouch 

Hak - great news in being less groggy


----------



## carrie lou

Mini, oh dear - hope you're ok   


Hak, glad you are feeling a bit better   


Oh dear girls, I feel a rant coming on   DH has just started the nonsense about me needing to be signed off sick again. Saying he can't cope with "everything" on his own. Just as an aside, I am still doing 90% of the cooking, all the cleaning, all the laundry and ironing etc. Zac is being incredibly demanding this morning, screaming since he got up at 5.20 if he can't get what he wants the second he wants it. I slept really badly last night as had such an awful headache. I caved and took some paracetamol in the end but even so didn't get back to sleep until 4am and then was woken by Zac jumping on my stomach before dawn. I could really do with going back to bed now but of course that isn't going to happen. Then DH had a go at me because he can't do everything blah blah blah. After he left I burst into tears and promptly threw up what little breakfast I'd managed to eat. I still have a headache now. Worst of all, I'm seeing the doctor this morning for a review of my antidepressants. Was feeling really good until this morning, no idea what to tell her now   


Sorry for being so negative. It's just all a bit much this morning and I feel like such an awful mother and so guilty for complaining


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie-    I'm at work and due in a meeting in a mo so cant write long reply but wanted to give you lots of hugs  . Just tell the GP how you have been feeling prior to this morning and advise her of today's events too and how you feel today  . You are not a bad mum don't even go there your a great mum


----------



## Babdee

Carrie, I agree with Amanda; just tell the Dr how you've been feeling, including this morning. She's there to help. And why would you even feel like an awful mother?? Regardless of all we've been through to have children in the first place, once you have them, you are a mother like any other, with all the same ups and downs. Some days are harder than others. A child is like any other child, no matter how they were conceived. They scream, shout, have tantrums; we lose our patience (well I certainly do!). Does not make us bad parents. We have the toughest job in the world! Don't be so hard on yourself   
I don't know you & your DH, but it kind of sounds like he might need to see the Dr & be signed off, not you! Lots of hugs xxx

Mini, ouch! Hope you're ok xxx

Hakuna, if it helps, my mum was on a whole host of pills (incl sleeping pills) while pregnant with me, and I'm absolutely fine! You do what you need to do; no one can function without sleep    xxx

Juju, can I just ask when did your spd start this time round? Xxx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Carrie is he not in work still? I agree just tell the doc how everything has been. You are bound to have bad days.   Don't feel guilty. You need a day in our house  

Dh needs to get some insight into how you are feeling


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Oh Carrie - bloody men! Such sensitive flowers.  

Mine came in ranting about his laundry arrangements, burning his hand on a plate, shouting and getting in a temper with the dishwasher, moaning about the dog in the garden barking and why had I not got him in and fed the animals (reason being C was having dinner and I was breast feeding and could not police the dog and Charley's food).....etc etc.

I'd been looking after the children all day, tried potty training with C and ended up cleaning up 3 wees and a poo off the carpet, walked the dog and walked into town been to take Emily for vaccines, done shopping, 3 loads of washing, drying and folding, cooked a casserole, washed and sterilised all the bottles, sorted out all the rubbish for collection, tidied up toys twice. He still has not paid towards the house claiming he has a big tax bill but I know for a fact he has actually had a rebate. And he can quite happily sit next the Emily screaming her head off while I take C to bath and bed and not even pick her up or come and sort out Charley's story! He never has.
Seems EVERYTHING is my responsibility whether I am tired or not, whether I can cope or not. With constant critical appraisal from him. My punishment for wanting children it seems.

Reward is Emily is smiling and it is beautiful!


----------



## carrie lou

Thanks girls.


Holly   


Mini, he is still in  work but on secondment in another dept - they may or may not keep him on beyond July, we still don't know. I found out the other day he sent a really sarcastic email to his new boss and got in trouble over it - I can't believe he could do such a thing when he is sort of on probation.   I could have kicked him!


Babdee, thank you honey - really kind words   DH was actually signed off for nearly 5 months last summer with PTSD and depression, it's partly what tipped me into depression too (that and failed IVF, miscarriage and his threatened redundancy...) He is still on antidepressants and overall getting better but still has his bad days.


Amanda, thank you   


This is the level of DH's insight: last night (after working all morning and looking after Zac and catching up with housework all afternoon) I was feeling really rough, sick and headachey, so as soon as dinner was cleared up and Zac in bed, I went to bed myself and was asleep by about 9. DH came to bed at 10.30 and I was still feeling rubbish, he said, "How can you be so tired? You've been in bed all afternoon" (I'd been in bed 2 hours by that point!) "You should be feeling normal!" Erm, guess what sunshine, I'm 15 weeks pregnant, looking after a toddler, working part time and running the household - THIS IS NORMAL!!!!!! I've asked him to come with me to the MW in Friday, hoping she can knock some sense into him


----------



## hakunamatata

Oh cartie im so sorry sweetie big hugs to you. What youre trying to do isnt easy. I look at life one day at a time now. X x 

Babdee my spd started at 8 wks this time doh


----------



## juju81

Carrie, huge huge hugs hun.  I can't even begin to imagine what it's like having such an unsympathetic husband   what a total ****.  It's bloody hard work being pregnant with a toddler, especially to a toddler nearing 3   what did the doctor say? Feel for you hun  

Babdee, I had physio from 20-24wks because I was getting twinges.  It proper kicked in at 28wks, speak to your midwife and get referred hun  

Soooooooo, I'm 35+3 and have been diagnosed with shingles.  I'm at no risk as I've had chicken pox but after speaking to HR today, they don't want me in because of the risk to other potential pregnant woman who may not have announced it yet.  So, that's work done, am officially on maternity leave   (Friday was my last day) feels weird not having an official last day to say bye to everyone but I'm out Friday night with my team so can say goodbye then!  Just a really odd feeling.  Can't believe I'm having a baby.  Not long now either


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Carrie that's a good idea to take him to the mw. 

Holly kick him out  

Ju ****


----------



## carrie lou

Thanks ladies. Oh I shouldn't moan. He does try I suppose, just has really off days sometimes when I could happily slap him!   


Doctors appointment went well. She was running 40 minutes late   Not easy to entertain a toddler in a crowded waiting room for that long! But she was so nice I decided to forgive her. However, I have come away just as confused as before as she gave me completely different advice from the last Dr I saw. I asked about coming off the meds before baby is born so I can breastfeed (which isn't advised on the tablets I'm taking). She said she wouldn't recommend this as it's a stressful time having a new baby and might set me back. She said it's fine to BF on them and baby is unlikely to suffer any bad effects. I told her what the other Dr had said - he was actually quite disapproving of me taking anything while pregnant and recommended I come off them towards end of pregnancy otherwise baby can have a withdrawal syndrome when it's born. She then looked it up and said oh yes you're right   Then suggested perhaps switching to a different anti-d (that's BFing friendly) before baby arrives. 


So I don't know what to think   I'm surprised how little most GPs seem to know about prescribing in pregnancy and BFing. Surely I'm not the first woman in this position. I'm seeing the obstetric consultant in May so will definitely be asking his opinion - maybe he can give clearer advice.


----------



## hakunamatata

I was on seroxat ehich was vondidrred ok got bf when I had pnd at 9 mths with addi.  Dont you wishthey would all just ding from same hyme sheet. X x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Carrie I came off mine when I became pg with ds2. My mw said she likes her lady's to stay on them. I really wish I had because I came crashing down as soon as ds2 was born. I tried to cope for 3 wks but it was awful. Plus side effects of coming  off them are not good. I'd stay on Them.


----------



## Babdee

Carrie and Holly, I think both your men need a slap! It'd be interesting to see how they managed if you both went away for a couple of days, without your children. Teach them a lesson! I know I'm perhaps being a bit flippant as I don't know what your DHs have been through, but a relationship should be give and take, and it does sound like they are doing all the taking 😕 big hugs to you both   

Carrie, sorry you've come away from your Dr feeling more confused. Yes, it would be helpful if they all said the same thing, grrr xx

Thanks hakuna and juju 
8 weeks??! Arghh! I feel for you hakuna  
Juju, I have my next mw appt on Tues so I'll mention it then. I've only had the occasional twinge, usually when trying to turn over in bed, but as I had it with Jacob in the later stages, I know it's likely to happen this time too 😬

Juju, how are you feeling with your shingles? Can it be a prob for baby? Hope you're ok   Hope you enjoyed your night out  and yes, you're having a baby!! Exciting!!! 😃 xx


----------



## speeder

Hey....remember me?!

I'm just popping on to say hello and a massive congratulations for the new bumps and babies. I can't believe how much I have missed! 

Our lovely girls are 4 and 2 now and it's still all bonkers but slightly easier now they are passed baby stage. 

So lovely to see so many old names - and new ones too!


----------



## juju81

Speeder.....never forgotten   blimey, your youngest is 2 now  . Crumbs! All ok my end, just awaiting the arrival of no2


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Hey speeder! Yes ds2 is 2 in 3 wks time too


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Hello speeder. Glad to hear it gets easier! I will be in your position with 2 @ 2 years apart. It is mad at the moment. But I am lucky that so far Emily has been a really easy baby, or perhaps I am just so relaxed this time that nothing bothers me?
What do they say.... easy baby, difficult toddler or teen?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Unmmm difficult baby flaming awful toddler


----------



## juju81

Hahahahaha was gonna say the same! Toddler years are HARD.  Those coming up with 3yr old    not gonna lie, it's hell     were just coming out of it now I think but the last year has been the hardest yet with him.  We have had some lovely days to mind and its all still worth it


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Today with said 3 year has been facking awful!!!!


----------



## carrie lou

Hi speeder! Lovely to hear from you


----------



## amandaloo

Hi ladies

Speeder - hello nice to gear from you glad all is well  

Babdee- good luck at your appointment tomorrow  

Juju- happy 4th bday to your Noah  . How's the shingles  

Carrie- tell your GP's you got conflicting advice    . I'd stay on one if I were you one that's safe for bf  

Mighty mini - . Did you get a better response after you had zero fertilisation with ivf doing icsi? I'm looking for inspiration  

Hak- how you getting on?

Ceci- how are you settling in?

Afm- decided to try icsi   just don't feel ready to throw in the towel yet . I'm worried I'm making a mistake if I'm honest but what a few grand down the pan ! If you get a little baby as a result . 

For anyone interested about what GP said about Noah's funny do's . I've to totally ignore him for 6 weeks and then see her again . There's a possibility it might be seizures but she wasn't convinced it was . I've got myself in a right panic now as googled seizures and laughing and it came up with gelastic seizures omg I don't want him to have that   it's could be a non malignant brain tumour. Anyway I'm now praying that its behaviour as you would  . I hate google sometimes


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Yeah stay away from google.  

Yes we fertilisation after doing icsi. I mc at 6 wks then we did it again with assisted hatching as it was the last go with my eggs and had ds1. Glad you're giving it another  shot.


----------



## amandaloo

Mighty mini - thanks   how many eggs fertilised on each icsi?


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Life according to Dr Google is about to end at any moment Amanda. Just try to stay positive. 
It could be something serious, it could be nothing, it could be your house is haunted. Who knows. But it sounds like a good plan to wait and see.

I am glad you are having another go. If it were me I would check with the doctor about what could help you and throw everything at one last go and then accept the outcome.


----------



## ceci.bee

Amanda, if I had trusted Dr Google with my placenta praevia I would have been convinced I was going to drown in blood at home - the scariest and most worrying scenarios come up top because they get clicked on most, not because they are most likely   . I hope your doc can reassure you and the behaviour passes on in time. good luck with another treatment shot - hoping they can throw everything at it - as you say a child is way more important than some debt that eventually (says she who has just finished paying for Joshi who is about to be 3) gets paid off.

Carrie sorry you got confusing info - hope the meds are helping and you are feeling better.

AFM made a clinic appointment and got the forms today   - filling them in. I have a question about stored DS - if something happens to my DH, can I still use the DS nad have him named as the father on the birth certificate?? Scary thing to think of, but it has been in the news recently and don't want to sign unless I am clear of the right thing........

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## abcdefgh

Hello Speeder! Glad you and your girls are well   . We will also have 2 girls with just under a two year age gap (second due in June). I'm starting to worry about how difficult it's going to be to begin with, but also hoping there will be lots of fun times to be had. 

Amanda - Hope your DS is ok  . It must be a worry but I'm sure he will be fine. Glad you have made a decision about further treatment. When will you be starting? 

Ceci - Exciting that you're starting treatment! I don't know the answer to your question, but I know that my DH only had to sign the forms at the initial appointment and not for every round of treatment we had (although he did have to update consent when we started trying for number 2). I'm sure the clinic will be able to advise, or the info might even be available on the HFEA website or something. 

Juju - Wow, not long now! 

Hope everyone else, bumps and babies are well. X


----------



## juju81

Amanda, glad your doing another one, agree with holly, throw everything at this one lovely   how soon can you start?  Step away from google, he's only good if your searching for Hollyoaks spoilers   

Ceci, I'd have thought you could use it still.  Speak to your clinic tho I reckon!

Abcd, how you feelin?

Shingles have finally all scabbed, nice! Lol.  I'm feeling fab.  The best I've felt all pregnancy and its funny I've now given up work  .  Love being off.  Funny feeling tho, you feel like your bunking off work lol


----------



## abcdefgh

I'm good, thanks. Just feeling quite slow, heavy and unfit   but no major complaints. We're you early with Noah, Juju? Think it'll go that way again?


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Ceci - drop Nat Gamble a message on the ask a lawyer board - she is the expert on donor conception law.


----------



## carrie lou

Ceci, I would imagine the answer is yes but I'm really not sure... Do as Holly suggests or maybe get in touch with the DCN. How exciting you will be starting tx again before y know it   


Amanda, lovely to hear you are having another try. I think I'd do the same under the circumstances.   Please try not to worry about Noah. It could be absolutely nothing. Step away from google    


Juju, glad the shingles have cleared up - was it painful?   


Abcd   How far along are you now?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Amanda we had always done icsi but did ivf even we went with donor sperm. On the first we got 11 eggs and 10 fertilised. Then we did FET then the ivf   Then with icsi again and got about 8 eggs I think with about 5 fertilised. I mc at 6 wks. Then the next with assisted hatching I got 16 eggs. I was on the highest dose of gonal f but I don't think this helps with quality as I only got about 8 fertilised and 3 by the time of ET but we got Lucas out of it. 

I think with icsi you've thrown everything at it and given it your best shot. A lot of it is in the hands of the gods.


----------



## juju81

Abcd, I was a week early with Noah and I have feelings this one will be too.  Who knows.  It getting seriously close now  . Does your little one go to nursery or anything? Do you get a chance to rest? That's the only thing that helped me but Noah is older so slightly easier  

Carrie, yes, the shingles was painful.  I had painful leg before the rash came out but put it down to the baby squishing a nerve!  Bizarre thing tho!


----------



## hakunamatata

Hey girls hope you're all enjoying some sunshine. Im having a lovely day with my mum shopping lol. Love shopping for all my girls.
Life is easier since on meds bought pg pillow at taking omerpresal for indegestion.  Have another scan tomorrow,  cant wait.  Apparently lower twins head is 4 5th engaged. Didnt mean anything with addi she still didnt want to come through induction if you remember. So feeling huge and wslking like john wayne but life is good. If only I could sort knee out would be wonderful. X


----------



## abcdefgh

I'm only 26 weeks so should probably be feeling fitter than I am! Especially compared to you twin ladies  . DD goes to nursery but only on the days I work so, no, I don't get a great deal of rest. I have time off over Easter, though, which is not too far away then only go back for 4 weeks after that  .

Glad you're feeling better, Hakuna  

Wow, Juju, it could be very soon! Are you feeling ready?

Carrie - How many weeks are you? Is the sickness easing? Hope so.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Abc do you do the voucher scheme for nursery? If you do then work will pay for the nursery while you are on mat leave.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Hi all,
All these bumps are coming along nicely. Not long to go now for juju! Any names or is it top secret until little lady is here?

I had a heart stopping telephone call this morning at 4am. Dad was picked up wandering the streets by police. I can't take much more worry about him. When E was born social services were called in to assess. Care has been increased. He is doing a cogntive stimulation workshop. Some things have been suggested but can't be done because he has no local friends or family who could respond to alerts. They say it is better for him to remain in his own home for as long as possible. I asked for GPS tracking, but apparently if he has capacity, which they deemed he did, he can't be made to have it. And apparently until he goes missing frequently or gets harmed he does not meet the criteria.
A lot of things we can do privately, but of course everything costs money.
I wish there was an answer.


----------



## juju81

Abcd, I'm more than ready.  Just want her now to cuddle   


Holly, yeah think we are sorted for a name   


My little Noah was 4 on Monday.  4.  How did that happen


----------



## carrie lou

Hi girls. 


Happy birthday Noah!   


Holly, what a worry about your dad   At what point will you have to think about residential care? Maybe a warden controlled flat? Sending you     


Girls I need some advice about Zac... Up until recently he's been a really good eater but lately all he wants is biscuits, cakes, puddings etc. and it's driving me crazy   Tonight we had fish (which he has happily eaten before) but he seemed to gag on the first mouthful   So I didn't push it but made him a sandwich instead - but he turned his nose up at that as well and asked for his pudding! I said no pudding until he had some proper food but he still refused. He has barely eaten today so must be hungry surely   


Last night was similar - he gagged on the first mouthful and refused to try any more. 


It's so frustrating because I KNOW these are all foods he has always eaten up until now. He does have a very heavy cold at the moment, could that be affecting his eating? I hate putting him to bed thinking he must still be hungry but the alternative is just to let him eat a load of sugary stuff and I'm not sure that's any better! Help please


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Carrie he's just testing the boundaries.  I've had this for 3 years with Lucas. He still does it now. If he eats his dinner now then he can have a treat. 1 chocolate coin    I've sent him to bed without any tea before. If he was hungry then he'll eat.


----------



## juju81

Same happens here carrie.  Noah goes without sometimes.  He won't starve though, he's seeing how far he can push you!


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## amandaloo

Carrie- Noah started to do a similar thing  a few months ago he started to get very very fussy . He stopped eating veg all together luckily he still ate fruit . Anyway I didn't offer him anything else what he left he left . Anyway my mum said to him that carrots help him see in the dark and I did too he started eating them ! So I then said buzz light years favourite food is peas ! Naughty eh ! But it worked !!! Ps the cold might be having something to do with it you can't rule that out totally x

Holly- what a worry about your dad    . He is vulnerable isn't he . How many times do they have to go walkabout before they reassess ? It seems a bit much if it has to happen a few times . i can understand maybe once as it coukd be a one off but more than that I would not be happy to leave him.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

i agree amanda with Hollys dad. If that were me i'd be on them like a tonne of bricks. They are neglecting him. I would complain big style. He's a vulnerable adult and needs 24hr care.


----------



## abcdefgh

Mini - Yeah, I will definitely keep getting the vouchers. That will only cover two mornings a week, though. Better than nothing but I'd prefer her to go three mornings or two full days - we'll have to work out what we can afford to top up.

Carrie - I was going to say the same as the others. I wouldn't offer him alternatives. DD will eat almost anything when she's in the right mood, but is often just not hungry and refuses things she normally likes. Some days she eats loads and others not much. It's frustrating that it's not very predictable and she can't yet tell me what she wants so a fair bit of food gets wasted, but I don't think it's really a problem if she doesn't have tea. I reckon the cold could have something to do with it - DD has gone days without eating proper meals when she's been ill before. 

Mistletoe -


----------



## Babdee

I agree with the others Carrie. There's a good chance his cold could be playing a part, especially if it's a bad one as it might be affecting the taste of the food. There have been times when Jacob has been ill where I've let him just have yoghurt, and perhaps banana, or even a biscuit or 2. But you don't want them then to think they can play on it and get that all the time. It's also quite possible he's testing you now as the sweet stuff is better.
As abcd says, I wouldn't offer alternatives if he's just testing, and I too have sent Jacob to bed without his tea before. He learnt! He still sometimes whines that he doesn't want the veg, but I just say, "no veg, no pudding", he does a Kevin & Perry style, "ohhhhhhh", then eats it!!

Amanda, think I'll have to try that, saying something is Buzz's favourite food! Jacob loves him!

Happy birthday to Noah, juju! X

Holly, sorry to hear about your dad


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Charley is the same - sometimes like today he wakes from a nap and asks for chocolate, lollipops, sweets, icecream and cake in a real whingy voice. I say something like maybe after dinner, what do you want for dinner? pasta? vegetables? He says ''I not want it, I not want pasta/dinner etc'' and starts flapping his arm/hitting After a while of ignoring it, I put a plate of food out and he will eat some. I encourage a few times and might say Fireman sam loves broccoli. Sometimes we have carrot eating competitions. Tonight after his meal and yogurt he had a couple of sweets.
The way I see it is food is food. Encourage the healthy, but try not to make the sweet things too much of a mystery, Hard though as mine has already grouped all the baddies together without any instruction and knows how to nag.
If mine has really not eaten anything he might be offered cereal or toast and milk before bed.

My problem is C not going to sleep til midnight and having a very late long nap, I am not to stressed by it - I am only stressed because of the books and everyone else's sharp intake of breath if I tell them. Left to it he would sleep 11-12 to 9-10am and nap 4-6pm


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

12am!! Jeeze I'm sorry but there's no way I'd put up with that. It's not good for them to be up that late. What will happen when he goes to pre-school? Why is he napping from 4-6?


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## carrie lou

I suppose if he's getting enough sleep overall it's not a terrible thing ... Only issue is you must not get any time to yourself in the evenings! Also when you go back to work it might be a struggle getting him back into the routine. Zac is the opposite, a total early bird - sleeps from 8pm to 6am and naps at 12 for an hour or sometimes two.


Thanks for the thoughts re food, glad I'm not alone. I know I'm what you might call a bit soft but I really don't think it's good for him just to eat sweet stuff all the time. I agree with not totally withholding sweet treats but it's getting to the point that he doesn't want to eat anything but sweets and that doesn't sit well with me. Even though he clearly gets the sweet tooth from me   He does love his yogurt and fruit though. Guess I will just persevere with what I'm doing and hope it passes.


----------



## juju81

What time does he have dinner then holly? I don't even go to bed that late   I personally would say try and knock that habit on the head because he'll
Find that hard when it's nursery/preschool/school days! 

Carrie, Noah would live on crisps given half the chance.  He has sweets he has choc and some days it's easier then other to bribe him   again tho, think their age plays a huge part because coming up to 4 it was definitely easier to reason with Noah and he understand!  Of course some days, for an easy life I just gave in, stupid I know but especially in the early stages of preg when I just wanted to rest!!!


----------



## carrie lou

I know juju, when you're pregnant and that tired (and sick!) it's hard to find the energy to argue   


I've had to take the day off work to look after Zac - just don't think he's well enough to go to the childminders today. He was up half the night coughing


----------



## juju81

Aww poor Zac, there's so much going around still.  My niece had an awful cough at the mo.  Put Vicks on his feet if you haven't tried already.  Really helps the coughing


----------



## carrie lou

I tried but he wouldn't let me   Managed to get a bit on his back though last night, after he was asleep


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly wgat does he do while he's up so late?


----------



## juju81

Just hold his feet lol or do it whilst he's sleeping   


Have you thought of any names yet?


----------



## carrie lou

We've just managed to agree on a girls name  Boy's name is still a matter of debate though. I like James but DH said no - so we have said it will be his middle name instead. We are probably staying team cream so need to have both ready


----------



## juju81

My cousins little boy is James! I struggled with names second time round.  We had names early on but found it harder then first time round.  To me, we used our fave name ever first time so found it slightly harder, especially thinking of a boys name.  Had she been a he, he'd have been Oscar


----------



## JanaH

I had my scan this morning lining is a whooping 14.5 after only 2 weeks of progynova, transfer is booked for next Thursday.


Amanda glad you are going to try again. 


Oh Holly how do you cope with C going to bed so late.


Ju not long   


Carrie hope Zac is feeling better soon. Don't worry about the food he will be himself again soon.


----------



## amandaloo

Holly-   have you tried cutting some naps out in day he would go bed early then . Noah doesn't have a nap most days now . You must be shattered ?

Jana- good news xx


----------



## carrie lou

Good luck Jana   How many are you having put back?


Juju, I know what you mean - Zachary was our absolute favourite boy's name and we are struggling to find another one we both like as much! DH wants something unusual but hopefully not "weird"...


----------



## JanaH

Carrie we will transfer 2, we have 3 frozen.


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## amandaloo

Best of luck Jana will be routing for you


----------



## JanaH

Thanks Amanda, just scared about all the extra jabs after ET. Tummy was really bruised and no left with loads small bumps where I've injected. 


Have you decided on what next?


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Well tonight after a full day at preschool,  trip to the park and no nap he was asleep at 9.45. But would not eat dinner and was asking for sweets   
We are doing Wed am and all day Thurs at local preschool from this week, to give me a break with E.

I think part of the problem is that he has not been going to nursery because I am not working and is not very tired a lot of days. When he went to nursery he was generally asleep by 9.30-10 and I got him up at 7.40 and he had a couple hours nap in the day, sleeping in a bit the 4 days I was not in work.

Coupled with the fact that while I am trying to get him to sleep E wants to feed and is screaming her head off and I can't be in two places at once and dh won't even pick her up or read C a story, and the fact that I used to go to bed wth him, means that I take him up to bed at 9, but he reappears half hour later when I sneak off to feed E. With her breast feeding she feeds a lot evening and most of the night. I can't put her down screaming and get C back to sleep. So he lays next to me on the sofa and eventually falls asleep.
Having said this I used to do exactly the same thing as a child. My mum tried everything to make me sleep and I would fall asleep with my head on her lap on the sofa.

See I should not have told you lot about this because now I feel crap. DH has been saying tonight having a crying toddler tantruming about dinner is not normal and I have made a rod for my own back, and the fact the won't stay in bed is also my terrible parenting and his mum made him go to bed at 5pm. My mil saying that I am a terrible parent for breast feeding and co-sleeping with my children earlier in the week and I should give up bf and put E on a bottle and be very firm with her by putting her in the garden if she screams once said bottle given. Neither of these people actually help, they just criticise.

My boy is happy and healthy and bright/active/sweet, my girl gained 7oz this week and is smiling and cooing and already nosey, but now I have a voice in my head saying I am a crap mother, wife and daughter and there was a reason why I had to have ivf to conceive. Oh I could so easily sink into pnd, but I am trying to be rational and keep going.

I find it hard to have an early routine as when I work I am not even home til 7.30-8pm. And going to Dad's every other week disrupts it again.

As for him I have been around in circles today with ss and mental health. ss are back involved after the night wandering.They only closed his case the day before. Mental health were contacted by the gp for reassessment and review of medication. I have had to chase this for 2 months. Had a call this am to say they would see him tomorrow, and this afternoon a call to say now the problem is social they won't be involved. He was put on new medication in Sept and no one has reviewed it. Mental health say get the gp to review and gp says get mental health to review.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Well you've just got to do what suits you holly. I didn't bf but I do remember not being able to see to ds1 as I was feeding and it was a nightmare. Could he not go back to nursery? Miss the nap or give him 1 hr from 1-2 then bed at 7-8?  Ds1 was still having a nap at 3.5   but I cut it down to an hour. 

Tell dh to rack off!


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

MM - how do you make a child to nap at 1pm? How do you stop them falling asleep/unconscious at 4pm if they are tired that particular day from whatever activity? e.g. If I am driving that time after seeing a little friend there is nothing I can do to prevent him sleeping.
Nursery is too far away,  40 min train journey each way - no way I can afford the fees on maternity pay, or the train fare or the time going there and back to drop and pick, this is why we have started at a local pre-school twice a week. The other days we have playgroups I can take him to, but I can't take him to things like swimming as I have no one to look after E. We can get out and walk the dog and go to the horses more now the weather has improved.
I said to DH that he could put C to bed at 6pm if HE was prepared to run up and downstairs convicing C to stay in bed to get up with him at 4 or 5am when he would wake. I got no answer to that one.


----------



## carrie lou

Holly   No one thinks you're a bad mum. Quite the opposite actually, you are doing an amazing job under difficult circumstances. If later bedtimes work best for you, then just go with it. My counsellor said to me, when I was feeling guilty about not being a good enough mum, if you made a list of the bad things a person could do to a child, are you doing any of them? I am sure you are not.  


Could you not feed Emily while you put Charley to bed, read to him etc? I think that's what I will have to do since Zac won't have anyone but me put him down in the evenings.


This is one important lesson I've learnt from having Zac: to be more confident about my parenting choices. If I want to co-sleep and breastfeed my child until he's 2 and let him sleep downstairs all evening until he's 16 months old (all of which I have done) because that's what works best for us, then I will do so because I am the mum and it is MY decision, no on else's. Be proud of your decisions and stick to your guns; don't let anyone else tell you how to bring up your children, not even DH.


----------



## carrie lou

Ooh look at my ticker! 17 weeks!   


Gonna try and get some sleep now


----------



## amandaloo

Holly-  no your not a bad mum   everybody has their own routine    . I only suggested cut out a nap just to help that's all  . I'm tired out when I have DS up all day with me so it nice when he goes to bed at 730 I'm ready for it x


----------



## juju81

Totally agree.  No ones said your a crap
Mum for him going to bed so late, just like Amanda, I'm shattered and quite frankly my evenings are our time.  Noah will sometimes still fall asleep in the car, I just wake him as soon as we're home.  What makes you think C will be up at 5 if he goes to bed earlier? Noah sleeps 7-6/7 always has done but for me I'd rather he be up early and in bed early.  You husband needs a poke in the eye.  Criticising you but not actually helping, how you've not walloped him one before now ill never know.


----------



## hakunamatata

Holly youre not a bad mum in affect youre a single mum doing the best you can. Everyone is right that you still need holly time and it may be difficult when you need a routine change. 

Yay 17wks

Had my 28 wk scan wed. Girls are estimated to be 2 lb 5 each. No issues to report. Unfortunately ive been feeling really ill the past 3 days, feelung really dizzy faint and unwell. Been really hard with addi. Thank goodness its friday. 

Cleaner should be here soon. Her 2 hours really helps. 

Janah what a lining go you. Good luck for transfer. 

Nearly there ju. X 

How you settlibg back ceci. X


----------



## juju81

Hak, what are your blood levels? My midwife haas been keeping an eye on mine because of my low iron and picked up this week my B12 levels are low and now I need injections! Makes sense now actually as I kept spinning out and that's a symptom!  See what they come back with xx

No. Not long at all!! Went through my birth with Noah at the hospital on weds.  Not sure if I said here, basically they think I'm in for a very quick labour.  My labour with Noah was actually only 8hrs40 which is quick for a first timer! Eeek.  Braxton hicks have stepped up loads and keep getting episodes of period pains so its all starting to go on in there!!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly. We've always done a nap at 1pm so they are used to it. Lucas will falls sleep in the car but like ju I just wake him. If you keep putting him to bed at your chosen time in the evening then he'll eventually get used to it. It's all about consistency. Honestly you can hate me for saying this but he's going to have to get used to going to bed earlier as he's not going to be able to function at pre-school.  

Emily will eventually  sleep longer which will help you get charley into bed earlier. It is so hard with 2 children. I found it a massive shock. Unbearable at times. But my evening is what I looked forward to so I could collapse and have my me time.


----------



## juju81

I do think it would be worth trying to sort an earlier bed time out for him before pre school.  He will really struggle.


----------



## carrie lou

Hurrah, success ladies! Zac ate a bowl of chicken and vegetables this evening and even asked for seconds   Maybe it was related to his cold (man flu  ) because he's a bit better today.  


Babdee, I meant to say, Zac has perfected the "ooooohhhhhh" too - I blame CBeebies


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Interesting Carrie - I wonder if it is the moon....C had no dinner at all last night and lunchtime today had a tantrum, but then calmed down and ate after half hour and me ignoring. Then tonight I have made home made pork patties with lean pork mince and leek, called them home made sausages and he has asked for second helpings!


----------



## amandaloo

Pinkcat - wow congratulations that must have been a massive shock   hope your ok now? Lovely lovely news though xxxx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Wow congratulations Pinkcat. Hope all is well. Hope you feel ok.   Any names?


----------



## carrie lou

Congratulations Pinkcat     Hope both girls will be home with you soon. Let me know the details when you want me to update the list on the front page. Wishing you and babies all the best


----------



## ceci.bee

Gosh pinkcat congratulations that is amazing news but sounds scary mary at the same time - 2.5 litres is alot to loose  hope they gave you some back. How are the babies doing? did they have time to give you some dexamethasone before they were born? I am sure it is a really stressful time, thinking of you both and hope they both come home soon 

Holly, sounds like you are having such a stressful time hun          I read from time to time a really good blog written by an american paediatrician www.ahaparenting.com and she has great advice about difficult toddlers/pre-schoolers and tips on getting kids to sleep. I think it must be so hard with two and you worried about yoru dad and your DH not doing anything to help or support you. I hope you find a way to get him to sleep in the early evening, I agree with the others that consistency despite tantrums etc is the best way forward, but always easier said than done. He will defo need early nights when he starts pre-school, Joshi has just started and only goes 3 days per week and had dropped all his naps but is currently sleeping right now as he is so tired by it all! Good luck

Hak sounds like you are also having a stressful time hun      pleased you are feeling a bit better on the meds

Carrie yours and Ju's pgs seem to be dashing by! Ju so pleased you are nearly ready to pop, my mate had her second so quickly it almost happened in the hospital car park  seems no time since you were worrying about affording and dealing with the stress of a second baby, and now Noah is about to become a big bro, very excited for you all

Lots of love to all
Ceci 

/links


----------



## shelleysugar

Congratulations PinkCat   .  That sounds very dramatic - pleased you are well after losing so much blood and hope the babies are home by your side soon. xxx


----------



## juju81

What lovely news pinkcat, glad you're all doing ok.  Any indication of when you may be able to bring them home?  

Ceci, when is your tx likely to start?


----------



## hakunamatata

Oh pinkcat my goodness me what a shocker, how frightening that must have been. But what good weights they are for that early well done you, you dhould be proud. I really hope youre all together soon. Youre a star. X x


----------



## juju81

Lovely names.....I'm off to read your story


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Lovely names.   I can't believe they didn't give you any blood.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Pinkcat - Massive congratulations! Lovely names! I am biased   Hope they are home soon.  

Off to read your story.

Just got back from Dad's. He is worse yet again - how bad does this get Well 'i do know, but I'd rather not think about it.  After his 4am wandering last week and police involvement social services back on the case. Just sent her a huge email.
Brighter note, he loves his grandchildren and seems to remember them, although he thinks there is a third baby somewhere and it is unclear whether he is thinking of me or the baby I lost, or just generally muddled.
He was looking for my mum in the kitchen on Sunday - she has been dead 14 years.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Making progress on bedtime.
Asleep by 9 tonight without too much bother.


----------



## hakunamatata

Well done holly bedtimes are back to being hard here but at least my dh helps you poor thing.

Really hope they can sort your dad soon and rake that worry away.

Pc still cant believe your girlies are here hope youre all doing ok  myst be hard with older child too like us.im into single figures till c section now, yippee.

Ju anytime now hun vould be you. X x 

Janah how you doing?

Got repeat gtt today. Missing my cup of tea. X 

Hugs to all


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Well done holly


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

OMG Emily is 11+6 today and just rolled over onto her front   

Hak when you say single figures I presume weeks not days?


----------



## juju81

Had my 38wk midwife appointment today.  Baby head down and fully engaged.  Sweep booked for 39+2.  It's getting near  

Well done Emily


----------



## carrie lou

Yay, go Emily!   


Juju, exciting times   Why are you having a sweep at 39 weeks, round here they don't usually offer it until you're overdue? 


I have been getting pain in my hip/pelvis, sort of where your pelvis joins on to your spine at the back, only on one side though. Anyone else had this? I've left a message with the MW and she's ringing me back tomorrow.


----------



## juju81

I saw a consultant Tuesday (not really sure what for, was a follow up to my consultants appointment I had a few wks back for my endo) and I happened to say the thought o going over due after having Noah a week early fills me with dread so she said ask your midwife for a sweep at 39 & 40.  Wrote it in my notes and when I had my normal midwife appoint today she said oh consultant said you can have a sweep at 39.  So I am! It 41wks here for your second.  Bit of a result really.  She said its good the consultant wrote it down otherwise they wouldn't be able to do it.  She did then go on to say, I think we'll see you with a baby before then anyway


----------



## JanaH

Holly well done on the bedtime routine, sorry that you struggling with your dad.


Carrie when is your 20 week scan?


Hak not long until you have your twinnies in your arms. How was your gtt today?


Amanda how are you?


Juju wow the time as really flown by.


Pinkcat how is your two girls doing?


Hope everyone else is doing well?


AFM: well I had my transfer today... I was so nervous, the two blasts that they thawed today was still intact and was expanding by the time of transfer. The dr who did the transfer was really good. They where very worried that I transfered two embryos because of there quality. Started my Fragmin tonight, tomorrow I start Pregnyl. First blood test next Friday and then again on the Monday to see if it is a true positve because of the pregnyl boosters, will do them every other day. So no early testing damn...


----------



## juju81

Ooooooh good luck janah, fingers crossed. We'll
Both be counting down until the Monday 7th then  

Carrie, was gonna say, sounds a bit like the start of spd maybe?


----------



## carrie lou

Good luck Jana, sounds like you have two good'uns on board.  My 20 week scan is 14th April   


Ju, I did wonder but I thought SPD was pain at the front - this is only at the back   Will see what the MW thinks. Lucky you getting a sweep at 39 weeks, I had to wait till 41 weeks for mine


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Good luck janh.   


Ju you're just too impatient


----------



## northernmonkey

Evening everyone,


I won't even try to do personals for everyone, I can't keep up with all the goss!


Amanda - how are you? I'm so pleased you are going to try again    




Holly - wow that's early for rolling!  Well done on the bedtime. Did you feel better for having a bit more time to yourself? I hope you manage to get the support you need for your dad, I can't imagine how stressful it must all be.   


Carrie - your scan is on my wedding anniversary    I get pain around the back of my pelvis and have done since dd#2 was little - just a consequence of pregnancy and lifting children I think but best to get it checked out. I see an osteopath every now and then and she works wonders. 


Jana - good luck! Sounds promising!


Juju - yay, not long now. Hope the sweep does the trick for you. Mind you, my midwife didn't expect to see me still with a bump at 40 weeks with #3 and that little horror hung on until 42 weeks! I didn't have a sweep until the day before she arrived though so she probably would have been here earlier otherwise.  Wish I had now as I feel bad for lumbering her with a rubbish birthday of 29th December! 


Pinkcat - congratulations! Beautiful names - how are your girlies doing? 


Ceci - sorry I can't see your earlier post. Did you say you've made appt to start next tx?


Hi to everyone I've missed, I can hardly keep my eyes open never mind think clearly. Dd#3 was off school ill all last week and dh has been overseas until today so it's been a fun couple of weeks    So I'm off to try to catch up on some zzzzs


xxx


----------



## hakunamatata

Pc so very lively to hear from you thry dound like thry are dojng brilluantly and thst is all down to thd start you gave them. Well done on expressing. X x x so glad they'll be home before long.  Right time to get up lay in over. Its friday, we made it x


----------



## northernmonkey

Ah Pinkcat, you're doing amazingly well you should be so proud of yourself. You'll have your girls home in no time, it'll absolutely fly by. 

Hak - yay, I love that Friday morning feeling.   Although today I was awoken by hysterical screaming from my 3 year old because a plaster she is wearing on a cut hand had lost it's stickiness which wasn't a great start. Had to be a mean mummy and tell her the neighbours were knocking on the wall because she was making too much noise. Works every time though !


----------



## juju81

Pinkcat, lovely to hear the girls are doing so well.  You can't be in 2 places at once hun, seems you've got your days sorted though.  I'd do the same.  Will you be expected to 'room' in when they are ready to come home?

Minx, yep I am impatient! I didn't ask tho, my consultant Jenny Lo (J Lo) suggested it  

NM, I know it's not a given the sweep will work, will take anything if they are offering it tho  

Hak, how you doing?

I'm currently bouncing on my ball.  My back is flipping killing me and this seems to help.  I have another B12 jab at 11 then think ill get back into bed. Haven't stopped this week


----------



## northernmonkey

Ju - mine did work but stupidly I turned down the first one I was offered then was too ill to face the next one so ended up nearly 2 weeks late before I had one! I have a feeling you're going to end up with an exciting story like I did with dd#2....


----------



## juju81

Remind me again? Was it quick?


----------



## northernmonkey

Wasnt mega quick - 5 hours but I was having a home birth and suddenly needed to push way before I expected to and dh had to deliver her.


----------



## juju81

my fear is not getting to the hospital on time


----------



## northernmonkey

Honestly don't worry. If someone had told me beforehand that dh would deliver I would've freaked but it was the most amazing experience. I wouldn't have had it any other way and really wish my third had gone the same way. We did have the paramedics here with the gas and air but they said they couldn't deliver the baby. Not sure why but I'm glad anyway - much nicer that dh was the first person to hold the baby.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Why couldn't they deliver her   

Ju I had a sweep with Lucas but it broke my waters before I was ready. Total disaster. But I'm sure you won't need it. 

PC don't worry about not being there. That's what nurses are for. They are used to it. The girls will be just fine. Your boy needs you too.


----------



## northernmonkey

No idea Mini, they just said they were there to transfer me to hospital if I wanted to go. One of them was chatting away but dh said the other (both male) was like a rabbit in the headlights. He didn't appear used to the sight of a strange woman on her hands and knees with everything on show


----------



## ceci.bee

WOw NM that sounds like a wonderful and scary experience all at once. I would love for DH to deliver our baby, that must have been so special. I really feel with your DH being away and you having 3 to look after - how single mothers do it all the time is beyond me, I am in awe 

Pinkcat sounds like you are all doing brilliantly, well done. I don't know anyone with twins who has been able to exclusively breastfeed- even a bit of breast milk will help their immunity and growth and they can get the rest of the calories they need from the formula - so pleased J is doing well and coping with it all, and I am sure you will be able to thank your mum properly in time  

Holly - congratulations on 9pm, that is a real achievement. I hope you can slowly slowly bring that down by a few mins per night until he is going to bed at a sensible time for all of you - good luck! sorry to hear about your dad that is really rough, I hope that social services do formally class him as vulnerable and he can be rehoused              

janah those blasts sound great - keeping everything                     for you and you can relax and get through this 2ww without going too     

Amandaloo what did you decide to do about tx?? 

Carrie sorry you are having pains - I had similar and was told it was other ligaments stretching adn getting loose with the pg hormones- SPD is the most common form at the front, but can happen anywhere I think. Hope the massage can help......          

Ju can't beleive how fast your pg has gone   amazing and good luck - hope you get there in time - was watching OBEM this week and a woman almost popped in the car park   hope that's not you and the sweep does the trick

AFM appointment booked with the clinic on the 7th of April, but probably not starting tx formally until the summer as i have to write my thesis first, doing the rollercoaster with massive work pressure probably not the best thing to do...........but am so broody!


lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## northernmonkey

Ceci I got my bfp with dd#3 on 7th April so a great date for you to jump back on the roller coaster!  Summer will be here before you know it, you'll be pg by Christmas.   Do you know, I honestly wasn't scared in the slightest with dh doing the delivery. I remember telling him I needed to push and the look on his face was complete panic - I still remember his words 'Right, we need to get you to hospital right now!' and I was so calm and wasn't going anywhere. Once he realised I was staying put he was great and it was amazing. I know a few people whose hubbies have ended up catching the baby so I don't think it's too uncommon.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Carrie - if your pain is running along the sacro iliac joint which is where the bottom of the spine/sacrum and pelvis join it could be PGP - pelvic girdle pain. Same cause as SPD (which is the symphysis pubis joint at the front) where the hormones are allowing the ligaments to stretch and the joint to move more.
Be careful about how you are picking up Zac - it could be on one side because you pick him up always onto one hip.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a564618/pelvic-girdle-pain-pgp

Pinkcat - glad to hear that the girls are doing so well.

Ceci - 7th April was the first day of my period last year the cycle I conceived Emily. Good day! 
I have a meeting on monday with social services. Unfortunately as he is self funding I will have to make the decision as to when to put him into care. It is so difficult to know when the right time is. I am looking at a home tomorrow. The lady who runs our breast feeding group is showing me around as being a dementia trainer at the home is her 2nd job. Thus place is amazing care but will cost us £6000 a month I have heard. Puts IVF into perspective!

/links


----------



## juju81

Ceci, I'm having a sweep on the 7th too! It's all going on  

Holly, my BIL's dad had just had to go into a home
For dementia.  He's only 62   so sad.  He started eating violent though so BIL and his mum had to make the decision that is was safer for him to be somewhere else xx


----------



## amandaloo

Hi

Loads to catch up on !

Juju- can't wait to hear your news exciting . I can't believe it's gone so fast  

Holly -    sad times for you having to make those kind of decisions   

Ceci- best of luck for your appointment  

Pinkcat- read your birth story what a time you've had . Glad to hear your girls are well  

Carrie- 20 weeks heck ! All your pg's seem to be flying by !

NorthernM -  wow home birth and dh delivering that must have been very very special 

Hak- how are you doing?

Mightymini - how are your boys?

Well I've booked an appointment to see consultant on 10th April . We have both decided if we are not successful we will look into adopting   .


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Dad taken into hospital tonight wandering in his garden confused and fell down witnessed by a neighbour. Ambulance man called me to tell me. High temperature, chesty, confused. I can't go over there tonight, not with two little ones. Hope I am doing the right thing. I have to think of the babies too. Will call hospital later. Just phoned them and he was still being assessed.

I can't see him being able to go home again after this episode.


----------



## northernmonkey

Holly -   You are absolutely doing the right thing. Your dad is safe tonight and it wouldn't be fair in you or the little ones taking them over tonight.  I hope your dad has a settled night and tomorrow you can start sorting out his future. It must be heartbreaking for you but it is the right thing for both your sakes. 

Amanda - will you be able to start your next tx more or less straightaway? That's great that you have a long term plan, you will complete your family whichever path you end it on.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

He's provably got a urine infection holly.    The hospital can't discharge him now unless it's to a safe place. It's probably a blessing in disguise. Make sure you stand strong and tell them he's not safe on his own. Get the hospital social worker involved. 


Amanda wow adoption! That's a big decision!


----------



## hakunamatata

Holly hope youve managed some sleep, what a lot you have to deal with hun. Hope you find a solution today. 

Well im a bit worried I gave carpal tunnel.  The pins needles numbness and pain is part bad in right hand first 3 fingers. Hubby had to cut my food up last night. Gosh this pg doesnt get any easier. 

Thank goodness for weekends

Amanda we discussed adoption too and im sure youre a better candidate than me x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I had carpel tunnel. It's horrible. The claw!!


----------



## Babdee

Wow, so much has been going on on here, I don't know where to start!

Pinkcat, congratulations on your two beautiful girls, such lovely names 😊 I know a couple of others with twins and they were all formula fed. I couldn't manage to bf my Jacob past 2 weeks even! You are doing brilliantly!

Juju, I really can't believe how quickly it's come around for you! And well done managing to get a sweep early! I had mine done at 41 weeks last time, but I'd quite like one earlier this time, perhaps stupid reason though, but I'd like this one to make this school year so that there are only 4 school years between them! Have a feeling otherwise this one won't appear until Sept! I have a consultant appt next week (am theoretically high risk as lost a bit of blood after J was born), so maybe I'll mention it!! Although a bit early yet I guess!!

Amanda, all the best for your appt 😊 and great to hear you have made long term plans. You're sounding positive 😊

Holly, I can't imagine what you're going through; being pulled in 2 different directions. Big hugs to you   I hope you get the support you need. Plus, I'd no idea how expensive homes are; puts a lot into perspective. Also, fantastic bringing bedtime down to 9! Great achievement 😃

Carrie, I'm sorry you're in pain. Have you spoken to your mw yet? These hormones have a lot to answer for! You're one day ahead of me each time, hehe! Got my 20 week scan on 15 April! And yes, you're right; I hadn't made the connection with cbeebies, but a couple of days after you said, I heard a character in one show say, "ohhhhhhhhh"!!

Janah, got everything crossed for you    Sounds like you've got 2 great little ones there! Sending positive thoughts, positive thoughts  

Ceci, summer is nearly here! Won't be long until you're starting again! What's your thesis on? Where do you find the time?!! I'm impressed! 😴

Hakuna, that sounds awful 😟 is there anything that can be done to help?  

NorthernM, that does sound a very special experience for you and DH, although very strange that the paramedics wouldn't help 😯 my friend's DH delivered their second also. She phoned the midwife in the night, who said she needed to shower/wash her hair first! My friend said she couldn't wait that long as she needed to push, and the mw arrived when it was all over!

Mighty mini, hope you're all well 😊

Hi to anyone I've missed! Afm, been a busy couple of weeks with family and friends visiting, and electricians in to do some wiring in DH's man cave (garage!) and plumber round to discuss new boiler/heating system!! Yay! Hopefully no more showers turning cold whilst trying to rinse off shampoo!! 😱
Still got mild spd type twinges front pelvis. Mw said I can self-refer to physio this time. Need to get on it!

Hopefully nice and sunny today! Enjoy the weekend everyone! Xxx

Ps sorry for the huge long message!!


----------



## carrie lou

Hi everyone, sorry haven't kept up very well but have had a totally manic week. Finally have a day off tomorrow to rest!


Holly, so sorry to hear your dad is back in hospital - but Mini is right that at least they will have to sort out something safe for him before he can be discharged. And of course you did the right thing not dragging two tiny children out of bed in the middle of the night to go to him. Hope something can be sorted for him   


Pinkcat, glad to hear your babies are doing well. You're doing an amazing job. Any breastmilk they can get will be a benefit to them and for the rest, nothing wrong with formula,   Hope they continue to do well and come home soon   


Amanda, good luck for your appointment   I think adoption is an amazing thing to do and one way or another, you'll be adding to your family very soon.   


Babdee, don't apologise - I like a nice long message   My boy has been obsessed with "Sarah and Duck" lately and that's where I think he learnt the "ooohhhhh" from   Hope you're doing ok   


Hak, sorry about the carpal tunnel - can't be much fun   When is your c section booked for.  


Ceci, how exciting - sure you will be joining the list of bumps very soon   


NM, Juju, Mini and everyone else reading, hope you are all well   


AFM, spoke to the MW and she said the pain could be the start of pelvic girdle pain - or could be baby pressing on a nerve. But baby is still very small surely and would its tiny weight really be enough to cause that much pain? Anyway, either way, I'm to try paracetamol and hot water bottle and if it gets worse, she will refer me to physio. I've been feeling lots of kicks this week, think little one is having a party in there some days   


What's everyone up to for Mother's Day? I've been promised breakfast in bed by DH, after my incredibly long week at work, and then I'm off to visit my mum with a very big box of chocolates while DH cooks lunch for the lunatic woman (aka MIL). Conveniently I won't have to see her! Win - win situation


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Carrie don't forget you've got the placenta, water and baby in there. Plus hormones doing things to your body. 

Holly how's your dad?


----------



## abcdefgh

Pinkcat - Huge congrats! Sounds like you're all doing really well  

Mistletoe - Sounds like a very stressful situation with your dad. Hope you are ok and moving closer to a solution.  

Hakuna - I had carpal tunnel last time. It's horrible   . How long do you have to go?

Carrie - Sorry you're pain - hope they get to the bottom of it.

Juju - Really not long now! Thinking of you.

Amanda - Glad you are moving forward and making decisions - it's exciting that adoption may be an option. Good luck with the next steps.


----------



## JanaH

Happy mothers day to all the mums and new mums and to be on here, hope you all have a special day with your little ones


----------



## northernmonkey

Happy Mothers Day everyone. Hope you all have a lovely day. I've just had a lovely lie in and got some lovely flowers and big bottle of Baileys from the girls. Off to put some ice in the freezer for later ....


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Happy Mother's Day!
As predicted DH has not even acknowledged the fact it is Mother's Day.
Luckily at Stay and Play and at Preschool Charley made mummy some cards and I have had a kiss from him and a smile from Emily and a lovely breast feed and cuddle in bed from her. Otherwise life continues as normal.

From me my MIL has a card, a box of flower garden chocolates and Charley (I) made a set of mother's day cup cakes yesterday and got a Granny card. It is also their Golden Wedding so I bought them the rose by that name and a gold card. Don't have the money for some actual gold.

Emily has been sitting up in her Bumbo seat for 5 minutes for the first time just now and now she is practicing her rolling over. And getting stuck on her front......

Dad is medically stable and I chatted to nurse yesterday - she told me not to rush over with 2 kids - I would not be allowed on the ward with them anyway - only day room for half hour. He is safe and she said they were more assessing his Alzheimers. She said priority was to check out care home and see social services. So she suggested I stayed at home yesterday and go over Sunday to see Dad and meet social services on Monday.

The care home was lovely - like a 5 star hotel in the main building. Reminiscence (locked) area not as nice, but still very nice. Simply arranged to reduce confusion, fenced garden to walk outside if pacing, lots of things to remind them of happy times like wedding dresses, babies in cot, type writer, piano etc. Very peaceful and calm and staff very good with the residents. No one sedated. Care excellent and food and activities great. All inclusive except hairdresser, chiropodist and phone line.
It will cost an upfront fee of £5700 and £135, 155 or 175 a day depending on room type and care needs. So even minimum will cost £945 a week or £49,140 a year plus the £5700 in the first year.

Will have to check out some others.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

If he went there then his money ran out would he get funding?


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Questions for social services. They have had one funded by social services recently apparently.


----------



## ceci.bee

Good luck Holly              I have two relatives in hospital at the mo, and both having thorough reassessments of their needs while in there, which makes a big difference I think than community SW and GPs trying to muddle through. Sorry that the good place is so pricey - do you know how much he can afford on his own funding? I hope that you get some more cash for him from social services         

Amanda wow adoption is a great way forward - hope you won't need it, but good to make the decision of how to move forward if this cycle doesn't work for you, keeping everything           that it does

Thanks everyone for your comments about the 7th   hoping it is as auspicious as you guys think, and I think trying to be pg by xmas is a good target       

enjoy mother's day all   
lots of love
Ceci


----------



## ceci.bee

Just another quick thing - I had a very strange experience last weekend at a family party where we saw lots of family who we haven't seen for ages. Joshi has a very unusual appearance as DH and I are both dark with dark eyes, and Joshi is blonde with stunning blue eyes. It quickly became apparent that all the family that we had told about the donor issue had completely forgotten, they were all asking why he had blue eyes as DH doesn't. It was quite difficult as Joshi was around and we didn't want to lie, but also didn't want to start going into everything in depth at the same time so we blustered a bit - any advice about how to handle this if it happens again? I told MIL that it was important that this didn't happen again adn could she quietly remind the family about the donor- I don't want Joshi thinking he is different in some way as he doesn't look like anyone else in the family.................  

thanks


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Ceci - as you know blue eye genes are recessive - perfectly possible for two brown eye people to have a blue eyed child if both parents have blue+ brown genes and child inherits the blue gene from each parent.

I have the same thing as C is blonde blue eyed, DH does have blue eyes whereas I have greenish eyes. I usually say that both dh and I were blonde as children and went darker later.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Me and my dh are brown eyed and dark hair. My sister is blonde blue eyes. Dh was born with blonde hair which turned brown. Samuel ds2, (natural pg) has blonde hair blue eyes. Ds1 has dark hair dark eyes. So I'd just say blonde must be in the genes somewhere


----------



## carrie lou

Ceci, holly is right that both blonde hair and blue eyes are recessive genes so theoretically it would be possible. But I think if you are comfortable with the family knowing, I would say it's a good idea to give them a gentle reminder of the truth. It would certainly save you any more awkward moments.


----------



## Babdee

Likewise, my mum had very blonde hair as a child and it went very dark as she got older. Genes are a funny thing. But what I would also say, is that the family members who you had told about using a donor clearly haven't found it an issue as they've already forgotten. I know that can make for an awkward situation, but also it's nice to know it's not a problem for them. We had similar with one of DH's aunts, where she commented that Jacob didn't really look like DH. We reminded her of our situation, & I think she was a little embarrassed that she'd forgotten! We're quite comfortable with our situation, and have already tried explaining it to J. We figure that the younger we tell him, the less of an issue it will be for him also


----------



## ceci.bee

thanks everyone     its not so much the blonde/blue eye thing, we are used to answering questions about that, it is more about the fact that the family all have been told and had forgotten, and were asking again which made it so akward - Thanks Babs you are right we should be reassured that they all thought it was so minor that they had forgotten, but it was hard endlessly answering questions about it with Joshi there, who has been told but doesn't understand fully yet as he is not yet 3, and I really worry about telling people with him there that someone will say something along the lines parentage in front of him, especially at a party when everyone except us was drinking. But hopefully the message has gone out via the MIL network and they have all been reminded............


----------



## carrie lou

I know how you feel Ceci. Of the few people we have told, it seems many of them have "forgotten" or chosen not to take the information on board properly. In one sense it could be seen as them being so ok with it that it doesn't matter. But on the other hand, telling them was one of the hardest conversations we've ever had to have, and the thought that they didn't listen properly or realise what a big deal it was for us, is actually quite hurtful and upsetting. 


My in laws have never mentioned it since the day we told them, 4 years ago now. Mil even commented how Zac looked like BIL as a baby - well, how could he possibly? Surely she knows that. When we told her we were expecting another baby, she displayed no interest in how it had come about (given that she didn't even know we were trying again) and still hasn't asked. In fact when we told her she was adamant DH had told her I couldn't have any more children   We think she has, consciously or not, transferred DH's problem onto me. Couldn't possibly bear the thought that it's her son who has the fertility issue


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I had to ask a friend the other day if I had told him we'd used a donor cosi couldn't remember if I'd told him or if he'd forgotten. He said he knew.


----------



## Babdee

I'm sorry Carrie, I didn't mean to upset or suggest it's not hurtful, and I think I'm forgetting again how lucky we've been with the support received from our families. My in laws have even given us some money to help pay for our treatment for number 2 as we were struggling. I guess I always try and take a positive spin on things as it helps me. 

It sounds a very tough situation for you, and like your MIL has struggled to accept things as they are. I'd like to say ignore her, but I know it's not that easy. You and your DH have a child together, soon to be two. They are what matter, not your MIL's issues. A child's true parents are those who raise him/her. I don't have a dad as my parents divorced when I was very young, and I haven't seen him since I was about 7. I've never thought of him as my dad as he was never there for me. My DH is J's true dad in every way possible. And I think he does look like him as he sees and copies his dad; we learn from those around us. I wish things had been different, and that our son could share his dad's genes, but we can't change that (and we wouldn't want to not have 'our' Jacob), so I choose not to dwell on it. Otherwise it might consume me.

I know the journeys we're all on are a big deal, and I envy those who have had it easy in comparison, but I sometimes think the bigger deal I make of it, the bigger deal others will too, and I don't want it to be an issue for my children. It's been our struggle not theirs  

All that aside though, Ceci I think it rather rude and unkind that people, family or otherwise, should be bombarding you with such personal questions like that, especially in front of Joshi. There's a time and a place for such discussions, and that's not it. I hope your MIL has done as you've asked. I feel for you


----------



## northernmonkey

I know what you mean Babdee. My next door neighbour commented at the weekend how fantastic my dh is with the girls - she said she sees him taking them to the park/swimming/for walks or just playing in the garden with them and that he is such a great dad. She had tears in her eyes as she said it because her dh never did those things with their son. I can't remember my dad ever playing with me as a child or even taking an interest in us for that matter and never ever told me he loved me. Giving your children time and love is what makes you a parent.


----------



## carrie lou

Babdee, please don't worry, you didn't upset me at all   I was just reflecting on our own situation. It sounds like your family are all very supportive, which is great. In fairness my own family have been fantastic too and if the donor issue crops up in conversation, it always feels very natural and easy to talk about openly. It's just my in laws I have major issues with. As you can probably tell.   They live with their heads in the sand a lot of the time and simply refuse to discuss anything they find too uncomfortable. It really bothers me because I don't want Zac to grow up thinking it is a big shameful secret. What will happen when he and his sibling are old enough and start talking about it in front of the in laws?


FIL refuses to come to our house. Excuse after excuse. He sees Zac probably twice a year, birthday and Christmas. And when he does see him, he doesn't speak to Zac at all or even acknowledge his presence. Zac calls his other grandparents granny, grandpa and nana but he has no word for FIL because basically they don't have a relationship.


----------



## carrie lou

NM, I meant to say, my dad was exactly the same. My mum says he was a bit more involved when we were babies but obviously I don't remember that. As we got older he sort of lost interest. I don't remember him ever taking us out, playing with us or reading to us - or if he did, he made it clear he wasn't pleased about having to do it. I think it is a generational thing. Back then men simply didn't expect to be involved in bringing up children the same way they are now. It wasn't the done thing. I don't think it means they didn't love us as much. 


My dad is still completely undomesticated now.   My mum looks after Zac one day a week and I often invite her to stay for dinner that night. But she always refuses because "I have to get home and cook for your father"  He can't even fend for himself one night a week


----------



## juju81

Nearly everyone we know knows the situation with donor.  A lot have forgotten.  I see it like babdee does and to me that great tht people don't really give a damn how he was conceived. All they see is a loving family of 3 and a daddy who dotes on Noah.  

Noah has characteristics of nicks cousins baby believe it or not, think of it as a positive in that you obviously picked a pretty good donor match  

Having another growth scan tomorrow as I've had another quiet day with her


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie-     . That's so awful I remember reading about you FIL before its just nasty what he's doing . He doesn't deserve to see him twice a year even   . 

Ceci - sorry to hear that happened it must have been very frustrating and upsetting  . I can't think of anyone who's forgotten about us using a donor . I'd be shocked if they did  . Glad you have managed to get them all re reminded  . I wonder if people forget because its not an issue for them or something ? Weird? 

Babdee- just wanted to say hello as I missed you out of my last post  

Juju- hope your reassured tomorrow   . Won't be long now  

Holly- thinking of you  

Thanks everyone for the kind words about adoption.  To be honest it wasn't that big of a decision which sounds nuts I know but we just had a conversation and both agreed wasn't even a long chat ! Anyway my DH will have to give up smoking if he's determined about it as I've read on web sites you can't smoke . It's nice to think we have other options too  . I'm still going to be positive as I can be about the next treatment though


----------



## carrie lou

Amanda, that's great hun about the adoption idea. I'm sure DH can ditch the **** as it's in such a good cause   


Juju, I wish I could be as relaxed as you, I know I probably get too worked up about it. But my MIL is a proper crazy. I just know one day when it comes out, she will react completely horrified, accuse us of lying to her, we will have to endure her screaming and crying at us on the phone. It has happened before so I know. I know we should just ignore her but it is hard when she calls me names and rings us up to shout at us. Very upsetting.  


Holly, how is your dad?


----------



## juju81

Carrie, when you know damn well what someone's reaction will be it must just make it harder.  Shame you can't just tell her to jog on   flipping in laws   

Amanda, does he really have to give up? I mean yes it's better for you all if he does but is it a proper factor of being turned down? What about social drinking? 

I'm having a baby this month


----------



## northernmonkey

Juju have you had your scan?

Holly How's your dad?

Does anyone know if children can suddenly develop car sickness?  For the last couple of weeks dd#2 has complained of feeling sick when we're in the car. It's happened on short journeys so not boding well for the 300 mile trip we're making to my mum's on Friday....

Just lying on the sofa watching Frozen with dd. We're just missing the popcorn.


----------



## TamsinT

People can be so strange!
My parents are completely supportive of me, but my mother in law doesn't understand why we wanted a baby to start with, and really doesn't understand why my parents should be interested at all when it's not their grandchild, only hers...


----------



## carrie lou

Juju, exciting! I remember when we were cycling together last summer   


Tamsin, don't think I've seen you on here before but know you from the pregnant after loss thread. Welcome   Sorry to hear you have in law issues too   


NM, Zac developed car sickness fairly suddenly about 6 months ago   Long journeys are a bit of a nightmare. It helps if you can encourage them to look straight forward as much as possible, try to avoid giving them anything that makes them look down. We usually time long journeys to coincide with Zac's nap time so hopefully he will sleep at least part of the way. Make sure she doesn't have an empty stomach when you travel but equally a very full stomach is not good either. Finally we carry an emergency sick kit in the car with us - a towel, sick bag, roll of paper towels, packet of baby wipes, and change of clothes   So at least if the worst happens we are prepared! I get very car sick too so it's probably genetic.


----------



## juju81

Scan was fine.  Phew.  Estimated weight is 7lb 2 but obviously they are renowned for being out! We got a lovely face on view.  She was blinking and swallowing and her little cheeks were moving up and down every time.  Bless her!

My niece suffers with car sickness.  She's obviously older now tho and keeps bowl on her lap.  

Carrie last summer seems so long ago now.  Not long until your scan


----------



## TamsinT

Thanks, Carrie!  I've been following the thread for ages, but not posted before (or don't think I have).
Great news about the scan, Juju


----------



## carrie lou

Juju, great news on the scan and an excellent weight   Bet you don't have long to wait now, Noah was a week early wasn't he?   


Yes, 13 days till my scan   Seems like just yesterday I was having my 12 week scan!


----------



## northernmonkey

Hi Tamsin, welcome to the thread. OMG did your mil actually say that? I can't believe the attitudes of some people! 

Ju - glad the scan went well. You'll be kissing that little face in a matter of days  

Carrie - thanks for the advice. Problem is she seems to have also developed a bit of a fear of being sick so starts freaking out in the back of the car too. Will let you know how it goes...


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Tamsin doesn't matter that you're their daughter and have carried a bsby for 9 months and will bring it up forever. Couldn't possibly be your parents grandchild!


----------



## JanaH

I'm so happy for you Pinkcat, enjoy them


----------



## ceci.bee

wonderful news Pinkcat - no sleep but much happiness for the future   

janah how are you getting on?


----------



## juju81

Fantastic news pinkcat.  How's J?

Janah, have been thinking of you.  When is test date?


----------



## JanaH

Thanks for asking Ceci and Ju, going insane    first bloods tomorrow.


----------



## hakunamatata

Ohhhh good luck janah praying for you. X 

Wow pc thats fantastic new so very pleased for you. X 

Have an exhausted day today after a lot of appointments yest. 30 wks now x


----------



## ceci.bee

Janah                       

Hakuna - 30 weeks that's amazing! where did the time go   hope you are feeling better and you are all getting excited about becoming a family of 5


----------



## hakunamatata

Unfort having a struggle day today really not feeling well. Dragged self to group to try and tire addi but still no nap. X x amazing to have got to this point just so broke. Need back spd carpal tunnek allhhurts and sore throat too. Sorry to whinge, just a hard day. Hope thesis going ok ceci


----------



## amandaloo

Janah - wow that's gone quick     lots of luck xx

Hak-    sorry your having a bad day   when will you be having your girls ? Will you be having them early ? X

Juju- any developments ?!


----------



## hakunamatata

Booked for 27th may 37 6. X x


----------



## amandaloo

7 weeks will fly by hopefully


----------



## juju81

7 wks will def fly by Hak  . I'm so uncomfortable and I'm not even carrying twinnies or very big hugs lovely

Amanda, cramping, shooting pains, BH but nothing leading to anything.  My due date thread on here has recently had a baby boom, some even due after me damn it lol so just plodding away.  I've had my massage, deluxe pedicure and hair sorted so I'm all really now, just gonna make the most of wasting my days away!


----------



## amandaloo

Juju- how nice being pampered   sounds like heaven  . Is Noah getting excited? 

Pinkcat - lovely news   exhausting but wonderful all at the same time xx


----------



## carrie lou

Pinkcat, thrilled to hear your news Hun   


Hak, sorry you are struggling - end of pregnancy can be such a tricky time and I imagine even worse when you have twinnies on board   Your section is the day after Zac's birthday! An excellent time to be born   


Jana, wishing you all the luck in the world Hun    


Juju, make the most of your last few days before baby arrives    


Amanda, Mini, Ceci, Tamsin, Babdee and everyone else, hope you are all well   


AFM, definitely think I have pelvic girdle pain now   It's getting worse and more or less all the way round my pelvis now although not always at the same time. Gonna ring MW tomorrow and ask for physio referral I think. Wearing a support belt helps a bit but it's still uncomfortable.


Baby Bear been wriggling in my tummy all day! Cannot believe what a busy baby this is for 19 weeks. Think I have another feisty one on board   11 days and counting till my scan


----------



## JanaH

Had my bloods done this morning, won't be able to tell anything from it, just want Monday to be here so that I could have a true result...


----------



## northernmonkey

Pinkcat - congratulations on bringing your girls home, what great news. How has your little boy taken to them?

Hak - hope you're feeling better today. Like juju says, it's hard enough carrying one baby never mind two. Does your dh work at weekend or will you be able to put your feet up?

Ju - can't wait to see your announcement! I loved this stage of pregnancy waking up each morning and wondering if I'd have a bump or a baby by the end of the day! 

Ladies can anyone give me a bit of reassurance please. I'm a huge worrier, always have been but am much worse since having the girls and lots of it is centred around a fear of serious illness and dying, leaving the girls without a mum. Anyway this got me to thinking about hereditary diseases and I realised that dh and I don't have a clue about our donor's medical history. We chose him based on a very brief physical/occupation/interests profile. So now I feel unbelievably guilty and irresponsible that my girls might be destined to an early death or huge chance of cancer (just reading this back I sound like a nutter...) because we didn't look into that side of things. In some ways I think I'm beating myself up unnecessarily because DH's family have a history of cancer (and at a very young age) and dementia whilst mine have heart disease and aneurysms so between us we would have had everything covered had we had children the conventional way! I guess that would have been out of my control though because there would have been no element of choice iykwim. I think it all probably has deep rooted issues such as me wanting to protect the girls from everything which I know I can't really do. Anyway, any advice would be welcome!

NM
x


----------



## northernmonkey

Jana our posts crossed. Oh no, can't believe you have to wait. Aren't you tempted to do a test? April 7th was my bfp date with dd#3!


----------



## JanaH

I have been testing but there is no point as I'm taking pregnyl every other day. Hope its a good date for me as well.


No advice really, but it is hard when you don't have a family history to pass on, my DH was adopted from birth and don't have any family history. He has never been worried about it. Don't let that worry you to much enjoy your girls. Even if you had a family history you won't know if it was passed on to them.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

But if there was a history of cancer in your dh's fsmily and you managed to conceive naturally then you wouldn't think anything of it! You don't vet peoples medical history when you meet them then have children? It's the same thing. Plus if your donor had such a bad medical history they wouldn't use him


----------



## amandaloo

Northern monkey - I agree with MMini. They don't use donors with a bad medical history that's what my donor nurse told me   . Try to stop worrying you could over think it for ever  

Jana - what are your tests saying ? Just out if interest ?


----------



## JanaH

Amanda strong positive on the clearblue + and on the clearblue digital this afternoon was 1-2, but who knows... Still waiting for the phone call...


----------



## hakunamatata

Ohhh could that mean......


----------



## JanaH

Blood results came back 129.7...


----------



## Babdee

Glad I didn't upset you Carrie  it's a shame we don't get to choose our in laws! I can't believe your FIL is like that with Zac; how awful  

Juju, glad scan went well 😊 so excited for you!! 👣 (meant to be baby prints, but that was the closest I could find!)

Pinkcat, wonderful news that you've been able to bring your girls home ❤ Enjoy every second!

Janah sorry you're still waiting to hear   Sounds promising! Got everything crossed for you  

NM, like Mini and Amanda said, they screen all donors for theirs and their family's medical history, so wouldn't accept them as donors if there was anything major. Try not to worry  

Hakuna, sorry you've not been feeling great. Hope you're a bit better today?

Ps NM, sweet n salty popcorn is the best flavour ever!! 😋

Tamsin, Mini, Amanda, Ceci and everyone else, hope you're all well 😊

Afm, had consultant appt yesterday (got to hear baby's hb again! 😍), and I have to deliver in main maternity unit of hosp, not midwife led bit, and have active management of 3rd stage (cos of pph after Jacob). Oh well, kind of expected that!
Plus we just got a chicken coop yesterday!! V excited!! Just got to fix up the run (left by the previous house owners) and we're good to go! Never kept chickens before, so this should be fun!

Janah, just saw your post... What does your blood result mean? What level are you hoping for? Xx


----------



## carrie lou

Ooh Jana - is that good? Sorry don't know much about HCG levels but it sounds promising  I hope so   

NM, please try not to worry - like the others have said, if there was anything horrendous in his family history they wouldn't have let him donate sperm. My mum got leukaemia at 55, despite always living a very healthy lifestyle - no one could have seen it coming, no previous history of it in the family. Though not directly hereditary, it does increase my odds of getting it too. But I simply can't live my life wondering what if and when - there is no test that will say for definite whether I'll get it or not. In any case it can't be a huge risk since I was allowed to be an egg donor! I guess what I'm saying is you just don't know what's going to happen and there's no way of predicting it or controlling it. All you can do is be as healthy as possible, teach your children to do the same, and above all ENJOY every day with your precious girls. Don't let this worry get in the way of that       


Babdee, thanks  Chickens, how lovely! I've always wanted to keep chickens. Maybe one day... I'm expecting the same advice re. delivering in main maternity unit, I also had a big bleed after Zac - tbh though I would choose this even if I wasn't advised to. Bleeding was pretty scary and I was glad to be in the maternity led unit with pretty much everyone I needed already in the room! I'm worried about it happening again but at least this time they will be prepared  

AFM, spoke to MW again today and she thinks it does sound like SPD and is referring me to physio, which can take 4-6 weeks  So in the meantime I just have to be sensible and try warm compresses etc. The pain is not terrible but does bother me and I'd rather get the ball rolling now rather than wait until it gets even worse. 

19 weeks today


----------



## ceci.bee

Janah 122 seems fine for OTD, a cautious congratulations   as I know it is an anxious time for the next few days watching the levels - if you got a strong BFP on the two tests including digi 1-2 weeks that indicates that you are really pg. Do your clinic repeat HCGs or do you have to wait for the scan? I know after one loss it is almost impossible to relax at this stage        how do you feel in yourself?

Babdee and Ju that is great news - Carrie gosh your pg is also flying! SOrry about the SPD you guys - at least it is time limited and should get better soon after delivery - not long now! 

NM, I totally agree with carrie - there is so much to worry about when you are a mum                   do you think you are worrying more than is normal? Anxiety can be a symptom of PND and if it is getting in the way of you living your life and being a good mum then chat to your GP or HV about your fears. I also agree with Mini - you wouldn't have not married your DH if he had a family history of nasty illness, and donors are chosen because they have a relatively healthy family history and have no known inheritable illnesses. Please look after yourself and try not to worry too much            

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## juju81

Janah, am I right in thinking because your on pregnyl you can't pay any attention to today's result? It's Monday we need to see another rise? I don't understand why people carry on with pregnyl.  What is it?

NM, agree with everything everyone has said.  You could worry about everything tht happened in every day life.  I sometimes think about what would happen if god orbit something happened to me or nick but you really have to put it to the back of your mind.  You could worry that someone's going to crash into you or get knocked over by a bus.  Stop now lovely  

Carrie, def best to get some physio sorted.  I had physio from 20-24wks.  Delayed the full onset of SPD until about 28wks (can't really remember   ) feel for you.

Babdee, I can't remember how far you are now, did you find out what your having?


----------



## Babdee

Juju, I'm one day behind Carrie! Got the 20 week scan on 15th 😊 still can't decide whether to find out or not!!


----------



## juju81

Find out


----------



## hakunamatata

Janah anything over 50 is a positive. Does pregnl affect it then.

Big hugs nm. I suffer anxiety and sometimes panic when hubby out with addi as theyre my world, except whats in my tummy of course. 

Better day today tho appears addi could be dropping her nap when I need it most.  

Carrie sorry dreaded spd has got you. I traded gest diabetes for carpal tunnel this time. With spd bad knee and back lol  and man am I huge!

Love and hugs to all. Its friday night yippee


----------



## northernmonkey

Thanks so much ladies    You're right, it wouldn't have crossed my mind if we hadn't have used a donor, and besides I wouldn't change a thing now anyway when I look at my family. 

Ceci - yes absolutely, I've realised recently that my anxiety is definitely not normal and that it's affecting my life. It's kind of an anxiety/guilt combination - another example is that I have slightly bow legs (and they're short - don't know which I hate more  and dd#2 seems to have inherited them and you wouldn't believe how guilty I feel that she has got them from me! I've obsessed over it so much and I know that's not normal.  Or I'll worry for days over something I've said to someone that might be taken the wrong way.  I have thought about speaking to the gp before so I'm glad you've suggested it - it kind of gives me the push I need. 

Hak - I panic every Saturday when dh takes dd swimming! I start pacing if they're 5 mins late home!  Oh no, I dreaded the end of naps but  fingers crossed she will stick with them for a few more weeks even if it's every other day. Failing that I'd try a snuggle  on the sofa for an hour together with some tv! 

Janah -  did the clinic comment on your result? Fingers crossed for a good increase on Monday   

Babdee. - keep it a surprise   haven't tried the sweet & salty popcorn but I love the salt and vinegar. Yum. 

Better go, we're at my mum's and I'm hiding in the bedroom so best go and show face.

Thanks again, you're all fab.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Nm Yep sounds like it's pnd hun. Guilt and anxiety are big signs. I've got anxiety from pnd. But mine is about what people think of me or did I say something that would upset someone then they'll hate me etc     also I get anxious in the night if one of them wakes and I'm awake all night and can't function in the day. I'm useless without sleep. I'm on anti ds and had cbt. It's good but you have to put it in to practice. Sounds like it's what you need.  

Janah fingers crossed


----------



## carrie lou

Girls help, I'm having Braxton hicks contractions   At 19 weeks!!! I didn't get them till 30 something weeks with Zac so not sure if I should be worried or not - is this normal?!


----------



## juju81

Carrie I got them at 25wks with Noah. About 28wksnwith this one.  Its not harmful, try not to panic x

I'm getting some bloody painful ones at the moment actually


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Painful contractions Juju?    

NM - I m terrified of dying and leaving my babies all alone - no one I know would look after them. Terrified of losing them. Terrified of them dying.
I am not coping too well with the enormity and stress about the decisions I have to make about Dad. The guilt over him being in hospital, worrying about money side of things etc. Two small kids, trying to keep life normal and fun for them. Charley has had a temperature and been really whingy this week. Emily feeding a lot having her 3 month growth spurt.
I have seen 3 care homes this week, met with social services, seen dad mon/tue, raced back for C's gym class but missed it by 20 mins, spoke to OT for 45 mins, spoke to consultant psych for 30 mins, researched a little about care homes on line and made list, looked into funding, bought premium bonds for E, spoke to Alzheimers support who are coming to see me and sending a benefits advisor out, been to play group and soft play, taken C to playschool and E to baby sensory, arranged higher rate attendance allowance for Dad, and done all the normal feeding, bathing and changing and laundry and shopping, yet still I feel guilty I have not seen dad again this week or done more to place him. But I have not heard another dicky bird from social services since Monday and hospital don't tell me anything unless I ring them. I don't know any time scales because no one communicates.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly   ring ss. Just keep hounding them. They rather you rang. Sometimes it jogs their memory and moves them on a bit. I work for them so know how they work  

Carrie it's all normal. I never had them at all. Going back to your labour and bleeding. I bled with ds1. Had a blood transfusion. But didn't bleed with ds2. Only 200mls which is better than 5 pints


----------



## amandaloo

Babdee- how exciting bet you can't wait for your scan  

Holly - that's a heck of a lot to do in a week was exhausted just reading that  . Does C go to a nursery at all ? I know my friend has two under two and her oldest goes to nursery still just a day but its a rest . Maybe even if you did it for a few weeks if money was an issue just to give you some time to sort out your dad ?  

Juju -   can't be long now!

Northern monkey -    see your GP xx


----------



## juju81

Agree Holly, I'm knackered reading that too.  I know your really worried about your dad but Emily is only 3months, you're going to run yourself into the ground.  Noah still goes to the childminder 3days a week so once baby comes it will just be me an baby 3 days just to have the opportunity to chill t home if I want. Hugs hun  

39wks today.  I was in labour with Noah by this stage    I can't see anything happening anytime soon.  Sweep on Monday will give me an indication of what my cervix is doing but it's just another waiting game.  Should be used to this by now


----------



## JanaH

Holly    


Ju hopefully not to long until she is here.   


Just did a digital test and it came up as pregnant 2-3 so my HCG is increasing and its a day and a half from my last HCG jab, the jabs HCG should halved by now.  eeeeek secretly I think I'm pregnant but will have to wait until Monday.


----------



## hakunamatata

Ohhh janah I hope so. X 

Holly I hope things come together for you. Complicated lives are hard at thd best of times. X


----------



## juju81

OMG janah, so hope you are hun, can't wait for Monday


----------



## carrie lou

Jana, eek - sounds good hun    


Juju  


Holly, bless you that sounds exhausting.


----------



## amandaloo

Jana - I'm excited cant wait until Monday x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Oooh janah     

Ju get a grip


----------



## juju81

shame there's not a 'finger' sign on this forum Minx! Lol


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## Babdee

Janah       Can't wait for tomorrow for you!!  

Amanda, yes, looking forward to scan 😊 it's come around so quickly!

Holly   

Juju/NM - find out/don't!! Haha!! So confused now!! 😜 salt and vinegar popcorn- yuk!!!! 😖😖😷

Good luck for your sweep tomorrow juju!  

Carrie you're right. Best to be in the main maternity unit with everyone there prepared. Hope you don't have to wait too long for your physio referral  

Thanks Ceci, hope you're well 😊

Hugs to all xxx


----------



## northernmonkey

Babdee - don't knock it til you've tried it! I had the same reaction when I saw the packet but seriously it's lovely!  Re the finding out/not - I understand people's reasons for finding out and I was tempted but I remember my friend's midwife saying we get very few nice surprises in life and this is one of them.  I loved the last part of labour knowing that I was about to find out whether it was a girl or boy (maybe that's rose tinted glasses haha, at the time I probably couldn't have cared less if what it was as long as it was out of me!) but phoning people to tell them the sex was  so special. 

Jana -  oh wow, great news on the test. Don't keep us waiting tomorrow!


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Babdee - I found out both times and it was right for me as I loved getting prepared collecting clothes at bargain sales, being given hand me downs from friends and neighbours, people knitting and crocheting lovely colour appropriate blankets and hats, choosing a name and generally dreaming and getting carried away about this little person. Bonding and loving a he or she rather than it, especially when feeling lousy.

Jana here is hoping hon     

Hak - how are you feeling?  

NM - I love salt and vinegar rice cakes and peanuts!   

Juju - did the painful BH turn into anything? Good luck for sweep - you are so close to meeting little miss princess!  

Mighty - I thought you must work for SS as you have been giving strong advice. It isa difficult to know who to push as everyone passing buck.  

He has got so disorientated , frightened and frustrated in hospital. He does not have a clue where he is or why. He can't communicate, is having hallucinations and delusions and grasp on reality is non existent. Wants to go home, very suspicious, worried about home and money and thinks he has done something illegal and is in prison. Thinks when he has escaped from the ward and the staff bring him back that he is being bundled into a van or kidnapped. He is crying on the phone to me. 
Now reports from the staff are that he has become physically aggressive and hitting staff and very challenging. He was not like this before this admission to hospital - what has it done to him? I have lost him forever. I feel like I should have been there and stopped him going into hospital. Not sure what he is going to be like when I go in with the children later. What if he is aggressive? Unlikely daylight hours and if he remembers us, but I don't want C's memories of him being that.
In 42 years I have never known my dad to raise his voice, let alone his hand. So completely out of character. He must be so confused and frightened.


----------



## amandaloo

Holly- it may be because he's more confused in the environment he's in and the delusions etc are causing him to be frustrated and agitated  . People can become aggressive at times with Alzheimer's    .  My sympathies are with you it's very tough times for you  . 

Juju- good luck with the sweep  

On our way to Kent for a little break . My DH auntie lives there so stopping at a lovely B and B nearby . Dh's mum and dad also going too should be nice . Then on Thursday I'm going to see consultant


----------



## juju81

Feel for you holly.  BIL's dad is the same.  He's not been able to see him for weeks because he was taken away and his meds sorted first  

Babdee, I'm like holly, I found out with both mine at a gender scan at 16wks! For me it was being prepared and being able to purchase little outfits relevant to the sex.  Even waiting until 16wks to find out was tough  

Amanda, enjoy your little break hun.  Thanks for the sweep wishes.  I never had one with Noah.  Infact, I had had Noah by this point   just shows how different each baby is!


----------



## My Son is My World

Hi ladies
Sorry i dont pop on this thread often so am not up to date with all of your journeys but just wanted to ask if any of you have seen the new show starting on mtv on weds about a girl tracking down her sperm donor along with her half siblings? Worth a watch maybe x


----------



## ceci.bee

Thanks Emlore- will keep an eye out for that looks very interesting. And something we are all going to have to deal wtih at one stage or another.

Babdee - Good luck with your scan, so exciting! We didn't find out, as J's conception and pg had been so fraught and medical and controlled - it felt for every minute, that this was the only think that we could leave to mother nature. I loved it when he came out and DH yelled, 'I can see a willy, its a boy!' and we felt like ordinary parents and all the stress of the pg and conception journey just melted away- it was a magical moment that I will never forget. You will make the right decision for you and DH - I know friends who have taken the enveloped home and put it in a drawer to wait for when they felt like opening it, others who have found out on the day, it is a very personal thing.

Janah good luck hun                        hope the HCG is going up nicely

Ju good luck for the next week

Holly, so sorry about your dad. It is pretty common for people with dementia to get worse in hospital - the new environment and everything that comes wtih that, plus poor sleep and bad light with noise are all enough to set a worsening in symptoms off. They may have also given him medication to help him calm down, which can have a rebound effect as it wears off. I am so sorry that he and you are going through this             it is so sad. My Dad is also in hospital wtih very severe depression having ECT and seeing this once loving and warm man reduced to sitting staring out of the window on a psychiatric ward talking about suicide is really heartbreaking          

AFM thanks for all your comments about the lucky 7th- off to the clinic tomorrow morning, hoping to have a plan in place soon...........        

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## carrie lou

Good luck for tomorrow Ceci    


And you Jana    


Emlore, thanks for the tip Hun - I wasn't aware of the program but sounds like it's worth a watch for us ladies   Hope you and James are well   


Babdee, I think we will be staying team cream this time too   With Zac we found out at 20 weeks that we were having a boy, which was lovely for bonding because we chose his name straight away and started buying/making little boy things  But I think having a surprise must be just as exciting, so we will be able to say we've had both experiences   Good luck whatever you decide Hun   


Holly, so sorry to hear what your dad is going through   I work in a hospital and often look after confused elderly people, for the reasons Ceci says, which is difficult enough - I can't imagine the heartbreak of seeing that happen to your own parent   Please don't blame yourself, you have done everything you could. I hope things look up for him soon   


Zac has such a terrible cough this evening   I've put Vicks on his feet and back and a wet towel on the radiator in his room, but can still hear him coughing in his sleep. Anyone got any other tips?


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie - a humidifier best thing I ever bought 

Jana - good luck  

Emlore- def worth a watch thanks for that will keep my eye out for it


----------



## northernmonkey

Elmore - thanks for letting us know about the prog. Will sky + it cos I'm bound to forget by then 

Holly - oh yes s&v rice cakes are delicious too. And s&v kettle crisps are so moreish.  
I've said it before Holly but I don't know how you keep going. Being as busy as you were last week would tip me close to the edge but with the emotional stress on top of it is too much for anyone. Is dh helping at all (silly question?)  I hope your dad is a bit more settled and that you manage to get his future organised  very soon.  

Amanda - enjoy your break and good luck for Thursday!  Which humidifier do you have? 

Carrie - dd#2 has an awful cough too.  We do the Vicks on the feet trick which does seem to help. I'm going to take her to the gp soon though because she frequently gets ill with a chesty cough and temperature so I'm not sure if she is suffering from chest infections . I keep thinking about a humidifier too.  I don't have any other tips sorry but you have my sympathy - it's horrible listening to them cough in their sleep. Hope Zac is better soon. 

Ceci - you must be so excited that tomorrow  has finally come round . Good luck!


----------



## hakunamatata

Good luck today janah.

Sorry zac is ill carrie hope youve had s better night. 

Nm is right holly you do so well big hugs

Ceci sorry youre having a hard time with your dad too. Mental health probs can be so draining. I hope for some brighter days for your dad soon. X hood luck for today.  X x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly sorry your dad is unsettled.   The quicker he gets into a more homely stable environment the better.  

Ceci Ooooh good luck. How exciting!!  

Babadee we didn't find out with ds1 and it was lovely finding out at the birth. I loved having the room neutral too. Looked nice and fresh. But cos ds2 was such a shock and we needed a cvs test at 13 wks we could find out then what he was so we thought we would find out. It was nice but didn't make it quite as special as first time round. (Surprise wise) the whole pg was filled with problems so now I wish we'd had a little surprise at the end of it. Well we did cos everything was fine in the end but ykwim!! I'm waffling!  

Emlore I think it's been on before?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Janah good luck hun


----------



## JanaH

Thanks Mini, had it done at 7 this morning won't get the result until after 14:00. Did another digital this morning and its still 2-3...


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## JanaH

Ceci - hope all goes well at your appointment today.

Ju - good luck with your sweep


----------



## juju81

Carrie, when Noah ha his most recent coughing bout (lasted about 5wks) we were advised by doc not to put steaming bowls in his room but to open the window and turn down the radiators.  Definitely helped an we have kept it like that even now.  Vicks on the feet is amazeballs too.  I use it for me too!

Janah, sounds flipping promising.  Praying good Ol' Shirley comes up trumps again!

Ceci, what times your appointment? Bet it seems surreal after all these times.  I know our first trip back to the clinic to start again was most bizarre.  Maybe more so becuase I was convinced we wouldn't have any more!!

Sweep late this morning apparently.  Never had one before.  Just seems odd lol


----------



## JanaH

Well it is officially a     my bloods came back at 300, scan is booked for the 23rd!!!!!


----------



## ceci.bee

fabulous news Janah so happy for you guys


AFM back from the clinic, Ju you were right it was surreal but lovely to see our doc again who remembered us and was shocked Joshi was 3 already! plan is for an ovarian reserve test to see if I could go for medicated IUI and then move to IVF if that doesn't work - he suggested we keep the frozen eggs in the freezer for if we wanted a third child when I would be nearly 40 and have poor egg quality, and go for fresh now if the IVF didn't work. he also confirmed that if we don't use the frozen eggs we can donate them which is good news, although we couldn't egg share with them, as they usually say 7+ frozen eggs are needed for a good chance of pg.....feeling excited and hoping my ovarian reserve is ok...........

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Congrats janah    I'm Guessing twins  

Ceci glad appt went well.


----------



## carrie lou

Wonderful news Jana       


Ceci, glad it went well - you'll be one of the next BFPs I'm sure   


Zac had a much better night - not sure what worked but he slept 7-6 with barely a cough or splutter! Think he really needed a good night's sleep, bless him.


----------



## northernmonkey

Just a quickie from me, am sat in car on m6 services waiting for dh and girls to come back from shop so I can go to the loo while they sit with the dog! 

Just wanted to say congratulations Janah, what fab news and how bizarre we both share this date as a bfp anniversary! Hope your baby is more prompt than mine though and doesn't keep you waiting as long! 

xx


----------



## amandaloo

Jana - massive congratulations   

Ceci- good to know you have a plan sounds good  . X

Juju- how was the sweep ?


----------



## juju81

Fab news janah, am over the moon for you  

Ceci, good plan of action.  Have you had your reserve checked before?

Carrie, fab news for Zac.  Hopefully he's over whatever he had  

Amanda, sweep......my cervix is still high but is softening.  Said its not unusual, especially at 39wks said sometimes you just need some contractions to get going.  Have another one Saturday at 40wks then will just get booked in for an induction date. Noah's now got hand foot and mouth so could actually do with her staying put for a bit longer


----------



## northernmonkey

Hi again. Finally made it home last night after a nightmare 7 hour journey. Dd#3 had had enough after about 4 hours so we had to keep stopping, but she gets to the point where that doesn't make any difference - she just has enough of the car seat so screams as soon as she gets back in it. At one stage I heard dd#1 say "mummy look" and I turned round to see the baby had managed to squeeze out of her harness and was climbing over the back of the baby seat!  I ended up having to swap seats with dd#1 and put her in the front while I sat in the back with the other 2 trying to entertain the baby.  She was having none of it and was getting really distressed and dh was finding it impossible to drive so I'm ashamed to say I had to get her out and feed her while we drove (thank goodness I'm still bf'ing and that calmed her down.) 

Does anyone know about child asthma symptoms? Dd#2 gets recurrent chesty coughs with a temperature which she's had again this week, then she woke up during the night coughing but it was a dry cough. I woke up hearing her and she just could not stop. I went to her room and she was getting really distressed. The cough went on and on for about 3 or 4 minutes, maybe more. I managed to calm her down eventually but I've never seen her like that before. I know asthma wouldn't cause a temperature but wasn't sure if the frequent coughs could be from something underlying. My dad and sister are both asthma sufferers and I'm praying that dd hasn't inherited it. 

Juju - did the sweep hurt? I still remember mine being flippin agony!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I couldn't help laughing at the thought of dd trying to climb out of her seat  

My ds2 coughs a lot but it's always when he's teething. There's no asthma in the family only hayfever.


----------



## northernmonkey

Mini - dd is a total nightmare. She doesn't really walk yet because she just wants to climb and get into small spaces to see what she can find! I took her to softplay at the weekend and another mum who had a girl the same age as dd said she couldn't believe how agile my dd was. She said hers would never be able to get herself up/across/over things the way dd did. I'd never given it much thought until it was pointed out to me but it's true. Trying to keep her out of everything is impossible! I'm amazed she hasn't climbed out of the cot yet. Little madam.  

My side of the family have asthma, hay fever and eczema but I'm the lucky one who escaped them all!


----------



## Babdee

Janah, fantastic news!!! Congratulations!!!! Woohoooo 😃😃😃    

Holly, so sorry about your dad. I can't imagine what you must be going through, and how scary for your dad, not understanding what's happening   

Glad your appt went well Ceci 😊 sorry to read about your dad too. My mum has had similar in the past; I know of three breakdowns that she's had, but only 1 after I was born (just after I left home and got married). I believe she had ECT back in her 20s. I hope the treatment helps him to build a more positive outlook   

NM, I hate hate hate vinegar, so I could never bring myself to try it!!! Hehe!! Sorry you had such a horrid journey home yesterday. Sorry I have no advice on child asthma. Possibly sounds similar to my friend's dd. I think they were told it wouldn't be diagnosed before 5 yrs old though... Hope you have a helpful GP?

Hope you're having a nice break Amanda, and good luck for Thu 😊

Glad Zac had a much better night Carrie 😊

Hope your sweep gives things a little push juju! 😉

Thanks everyone for your views 😀 You've all given great reasons both for finding out and not!! I'm possibly hovering over not finding out! We didn't find out with Jacob, and I do remember that wonderful moment when DH said, "it's a boy!" But we still have a week for changing our minds a few more times! Lol! Xxx


----------



## northernmonkey

Babdee - what a lovely dilemma to be having regardless of what you decide to do  

Ceci - so sorry, I forgot to mention your dad too.   It's so sad when our roles begin to be reversed and we feel like we are the adults and they the child.  I hope he improves soon and you start recognising the dad you know again.


----------



## hakunamatata

Whoop whoop janah so very very pleased. X x x xnow if only we could fast forward a bit hey. X x


----------



## Fizzypop

NM - I asked my gp re asthma as my dd has an asthma pump from being in hospital twice with bronchiolitis, as we've used it at other times when we've thought she was a bit "wheezy". The dr said they don't really diagnose asthma, they go on the basis that if a ventolin inhaler relieves frequent symptoms, then they class that as asthma. So maybe take her to the drs and ask for a pump to try xxx hope that helps xxx


----------



## juju81

Fizzy, how's things? Your little girl is just the most beautiful little girl I've seen  

NM, same happened with Noah as what fizzy says.  Doc said they can't diagnose asthma until about 4/5! Have a word with him


----------



## abcdefgh

Jana - Huge congrats! And hope everything continues to go well.  

Juju - Can't believe you will be meeting your little girl so soon! So exciting.

Ceci - Great that you're well on the way to trying for baby 2. Exciting times. Good luck with it all!

NM - Your little one sounds like my daughter! She's extremely lively, always into things she shouldn't be, and seemingly has no fear! Also doesn't need much sleep   . 

Hi to everyone else   . Sorry for no more personals - I'm not keeping up very well at the moment  

AFM  - Feeling ok but starting to worry about how I'm going to cope with two! I've spent 7 months thinking DD will have calmed down and gained some sense by the time baby comes - with only 2 months to go I'm finally having to admit that is not going to be the case   .


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

ABC - you will find that within about a day you could never remember a time when you did not have the two of them and it just fits together and you get on with it. C is going through a whingy whining phase, but I am sure it is because not only do I have the baby I have all the stress and going back and forth to Dad's house, the hospital and seeing professionals with him. He is bored poor lamb and trying to get my attention. I do try and give him one to one time, but also he has to remember to be careful around the baby. He is very sweet with her and if he does accidentally knock her he says ''sorry Emily'' and pats her head.

Ceci - I am so sorry to hear about your Dad having ECT - that must be so hard to think he is so depressed and sad. My Dad told me the other day all he wanted to do was die.       

I do know that people with delerium on top of dementia are like that - I have worked in hospital for 20 years and more than 12 of those in intensive care. I am no stranger to prescribing for such patients. It is just really hard when it is your own Dad and you knew him all your life as a completely different person. I suppose what I am feeling is shame and embarrassment that my Dad is behaving like that and the staff are being treated like that. I hope they know that it is our of character - it would be easy to think that he is a nasty man, when the truth could not be further from that. He is a lovely man. So gentle and kind. But the staff have only ever met the aggressive wandering man.

He has been saying to me that he has been taken every day for 5 weeks to the back of a garage, strung up and beaten by a gang of laughing men who think it is fun to inflict as much pain on him as possible. I tried to point out that the staff care and are putting IV lines in him, bringing him back when he gets off the ward as it is not safe for him to leave and getting him up off the floor if he falls and they would not attack him. I pointed out there is no garage, it is a hospital and he has only been there 10 days not 5 weeks, but apparently I am lying.

I suppose with all these things, I will now have even greater compassion for delerious patients when I return to work. All these things help you to be a better, more caring health professional.

NM - I have a 5 point pluss on the car seat. If properly applied it stops escape. I have had it not properly fixed once and escape still occurred, but properly checked it works.

Juju - any news? I hope you don't get the hand foot and mouth. I was so very ill when C got it, I had it 10 times worse than him and could not eat a meal for 10 days I had so many mouth ulcers. I was in a lot of pain. In the beginning it felt like the worst flu for 24 hours. My friend also had it much worse than dd and could not walk for a week her feet so blistered. It would not be good for a newborn.

Unfortunately the virus is shed in the stools for 3-4 weeks. So even if N's blisters resolve strict hand washing before touching baby and after toilet will be necessary.

Janah


----------



## Fizzypop

Juju - I think she is gorgeous but then I am biased   


Come on baby juju


----------



## My Son is My World

Hi all
Did any of you watch generation cryo on mtv last night? It was very thought provoking and definitely brought a tear to my eye at times. Overall though it was lovely to see what well-rounded individuals all of the kids conceived through donor sperm seemed to be. I will definitely be watching the rest of the series xx


----------



## ceci.bee

HOlly I also work in healthcare and seeing your beloved relative as a patient and through the eyes of others as well as turning yourself from the healthcare professional role to patient relative is so hard                . I also work in healthcare and this last year with my Dad, my granny and my uncle I have been at the bedside watching rather than in my usual role of doing, and it is really tough        I really hope that they can get him calmed down and his accomodation sorted, and all the stress eased for all of you.

Ju - neaaaaaaaaaaaarly there   

Emlore didn't see that but will try to find it online - not sure our TV subscription has MTV in it, sounds good

lots of love to al
Ceci


----------



## amandaloo

Hi 

Holly - yes knew you were in healthcare it's different when its your own family as I think Ceci has explained better than I most probably can  

Juju- when I went for my sweep with Noah they couldn't do it . Hope it's not too much longer now  

Ill do more personals later just wanted to update Been for consultant appointment it went okish He suggested waiting another month yet as im not well physically  so another full cycle and a half before I start which will be end of may before I start anything . He didn't give me any positive words really said if eggs are bad this time I need to accept its my age . Which made me wonder wether I'm making right choice   . So going to be having iCsi this time


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

it was my last go with my eggs with  DS1' cycle. We threw everything at it. ................. then look what happened after i had him    so there is always hope


----------



## carrie lou

Amanda, have they done any tests of your egg reserve? Don't worry Hun, I'm sure the consultant wouldn't have recommended icsi if he didn't think it had a decent chance of working. Mini's right, there is still lots of hope. Keep your chin up, lots of PMA coming your way


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Amanda I read somewhere that when we are young we have a big bag of eggs almost all of which are healthy. If it were a sack it would be a bag of green balls ( good egg) with a couple of red (bad eggs). As we get older if you stick your hand in you get increasingly likely to pull out a red ball.  Does not mean there are no green balls in there still. Just got to keep reaching in and pulling out until you get a good one.


----------



## hakunamatata

Youre always great with advice holly despite all youre going through.  

Amanda yoyve got to do what you feel is right. X x if you have sourced the money go for it. Emotionally you sound like youre ready to go again.  X x 

Ju wheres that baby!

Well it's friday girls we made it. X x


----------



## amandaloo

Thanks for the kind words ladies   Holly that's a good way of looking at it  

Ceci- sorry to hear about your Dad  . I've seen a lot of good results with ECT I hope it helps him  . Is he getting any better? 

Emlore- no I didn't watch it  

Abcde- your bound to have thoughts like that . I'd have them too whatever age GAP there was . You will most probably just ease into a routine and wonder what you ever worried about  

Hak- how are you doing ?

Babdee- how are you ?

Mightymini- thanks for the reassurances  . Hope all is well with you  

Carrie- Hope your ok? Yes I've had tests done . I'm on top dose of stims 

Hello to anyone I missed


----------



## hakunamatata

Amanda I must admit some days I struggle quite a bit and today is one of them. Im laying on my bed praying addi naps but she skipped a few lately so not yoo hopeful. Getting a lot of low down pressure, torally exhausted by small jobs  but hey 6 mire weeks tomorrow till section.  Scan wed to see how big they are, cant wait. X x x


----------



## juju81

Carrie, how did your scan go yesterday?


----------



## carrie lou

Sorry, forgot to update - everything perfect   Baby is measuring slightly ahead except for legs being a little shorter than average. Sonographer said to me,  I think baby has your legs rather than daddy's.   We didn't find out the sex - I was sorely tempted but DH kept covering my eyes at the crucial moments   Zac came too (my mum sat in the waiting room with him while the sonographer did all the measurements). Then they came into the room to see and Zac insisted on holding up his toy cat, Jess, to see the baby too   


How are you juju?


----------



## juju81

Ah fab news, officially over half way    I love Zac wanted to show baby his cat .  Noah bellowed the theme tune to jake and the neverland pirates to her the other day    


Still plodding along heavily preggers.  Luckily I don't have a huge bump so I'm not uncomfortable in that respect but she's so low that my pelvis is shot! Just over a week to go.  Am having acupuncture this afternoon and lost more plug and I'm hoping for another sweep Thursday


----------



## JanaH

Carrie - glad your scan went well and that baby is doing well. Can't believe you are half way.

Ju - hope your accupunture helps and that you don't have to go through induction.

Hak - how are you hun, only 6 weeks until you c section

Hope everyone is else is doing well  

The tiredness really kicked in yesterday, I had to go to bed as soon as I got in. Luckily there was some left over food for DH and LO. I only ate tinned peaches for dinner as I felt quite sick. I wasn't physically sick with Joseph so hope I can skip that again. I did another digital test yesterday and it came up 3+ which is good. Our first scan is next Wednesday evening, getting nervous had some twinges and pulling over the weekend.


----------



## ceci.bee

Janah stretching and twinges are good signs hun, totally with you on the anxious wait to the first scan keeping it all         for you hun

Carrie can't believe you are half way there already, flying past

Ju I am sure she will be here before you know it and hope the acu helps it all along   

Holly how's your dad doing?

Hakuna hope your toes aren't too cold in your flip flops   so excited for you

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## northernmonkey

Just a quickie from me, I saw ju had posted and I got all excited!

Ju - I lost some plug on Xmas day, had a sweep three days later and had dd the next day. Won't be long now  

Carrie - fab news on the scan, how sweet about Zac.

Janah - don't worry if the weeks on the test start to decrease - apparently they become less reliable the further on you go. 

Amanda - stay positive, you'd always wonder what if if you didn't give it this last go.   

Holly - hope you're making progress with your dad.  

Hello everyone else, hope you're all enjoying the sunshine. I've had to get the sun cream out for the girls!


----------



## amandaloo

Juju- sounds positive   hope it's not much longer now 

Northernmonkey- yes your right need to try and gain some positivity though just haven't got any at moment . 

Carrie- wonderful news and how nice that your Ds saw the baby too


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Carrie - great news about scan. Charley slept throughout Emily's scans!

Hak - I do hope everything works out for you. I was worried before little miss came along, but in no time they do just become your life as if it was always like that. It is hard, but then I get no help at all and I am rushing all over the place.

Juju - where is she?  We want news!  

Sorry for a lack of personals otherwise, but I do think of everyone. After a couple of days filling up wheely bins with 50 years of junk out of Dad's house in the early hours, listening to a lot of nagging and crying, spending a lot of time driving and sitting with Dad at the hospital I am still wired at 2am!

My breast feeding is going to pot as I simply don't have time to sit there for hours and hours feeding.  I am doing what I can and topping up. I will have a baby moon afternoon tomorrow and see if I can restore my supply but Emily has been so angry at the milk that she has scratched her face really badly. I have had to give her a bottle just to calm her down and have some time to do things at Dad's. 

I have had good news on several counts in the last couple of days.   

I am still worried sick about the enormity of the tasks ahead with only me to do 4 rather major projects in 2 entirely different locations namely look after my house, the kids and me, look for a care home for Dad, visit Dad in hosptial to give him a friendly face and encouragement and sort out his house - remove all junk and refurbish to rent or sell. One lot one side of London the other lot the other side.  

The good news is that they are trying some other medication as Dad was very unsteady on Lorazepam, was really hurting the staff, has lost his glasses, packs up the contents of the ward regularly and leaves going into the garden, threatens staff who try to stop him. He is still convinced people are beating him. A guy came to do a heart ultrasound today and there was nothing I could do to convince him to have it done. He said he was not going to lay down and be whipped. The new meds have calmed him a little bit.

The NHS continuing care assessors have agreed to fund an interim care package - under NHS continuing care if you have a primary health need due to an illness the NHS have to fund all your care and accommodation as if you were still in hospital. Even if this does only turn out to be interim, it gives me some breathing space to sort out the house and refurb it without having to worry about paying care home fees. I just have to find him a place in an EMI care home that the NHS will pay for. I guess they will see how he settles and then make a longer term decision on funding.

The finance assessors have also finally given me a clear answer about whether I am allowed to spend his money to refurb the house (yes and keep receipts) and how I could transfer him to where I am for care. I have also been told it is likely that I would be able to get a deferred payments arrangement after an initial period of paying the fees as we meet the criteria to secure a loan against his house. Means I don't have to sell the family home right away, hopefully never, and I can do it up and rent it out for income to pay a substantial amount of his care home fees, reducing the overall bill. Means I meet Dad's wishes to keep the house (or most of it) for the children. 

If the NHS continuing care comes to fruition then we won't have to pay anything at all, which will be fantastic as I then won't have to worry and can sort the house out at a better pace.

Last bit of good news is that Dad should not have been paying any council tax for about 2 years so I am getting the paperwork for exemption and refund. 

It is a total minefield and I don't know how people with lesser determination and NHS knowledge navigate it.


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## JanaH

Just a quick one to say I'm having some brown bleeding and going for a scan at 8:30. I'm absolutely freaking out.


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## northernmonkey

Hope your scan goes ok Jana. I had brown with first two dd's which lasted for a few weeks on and off with dd#1 so i really hope you're ok. I was told before my scan by the epu that brown blood is old blood and no pain is a good sign.


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## northernmonkey

Holly, I meant to say I hope you're managing to take care if yourself too and eating and drinking properly (which is a bit rich coming from the woman who lives on cups of tea during the day  That will also massively affect your milk, but don't feel guilty about having to top Emily up. You can't change your circumstances at the moment and are doing amazingly well - you are a fantastic mummy and daughter.  
I don't know how you cope.


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## carrie lou

Jana, I had brown bleeding with Zac and also with this baby. The only time I didn't have it was with the baby I lost! So it definitely doesn't mean the worst though I well remember how scary it is   Tiredness and sickness are really good signs. All the best for your scan, will be thinking of you   


Holly,oh goodness you have so much to deal with. And stress can massively affect your milk supply. Don't feel guilty,you are doing the best you can under very difficult circumstances and topping up with a bottle won't do her any harm at all. Lots of love to you,thinking of you at this difficult time


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## Babdee

Try not to worry Janah, I too had bleeding (bright red) within a couple of weeks of my BFP with Jacob (all was fine; possible breakthrough bleeding?), and I had some pinkish/red smearing at 12 weeks this time. I too was v scared both times, but all was fine. Thinking of you for your scan xx 

Holly, you really are amazing, and I couldn't cope with a fraction of what you're going through. As for feeding, I gave up bfing Jacob at 2 weeks with none of what you're dealing with. Don't be hard on yourself   

Carrie, glad your scan went well on Monday  great news! Xx

Hi Amanda, I'm good thanks. Enjoying the lovely weather! May will be here soon. I know it feels like a lifetime when you're waiting to start, but it will come round   If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? It doesn't say on your signature xx

Juju, where's our news??!!!

Afm, also had my 20 week scan this week! All was good and measuring as should  we too decided not to find out the baby's sex! Jacob came along too, but I let him play on my tablet in the waiting room, and he wouldn't put it down during the scan, so he didn't really see anything! I think he's losing interest in baby as he can't really see anything happening!!

How did everyone who was waiting for school places get on? Jacob got our 2nd choice, but tbh, we were happy with 1st or 2nd. Both seemed lovely schools. Just glad we didn't get choice 3!

Hope everyone else is well xxx


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## carrie lou

Hi ladies, 
New home over here:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=320729.new#new


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