# New to FF - confused and terrified



## aquapinkdog (Dec 23, 2010)

Hi everyone, 

I am new to FF. I'm 34, 35 in March, and dh is 35.

After TTC for a year we both had the basic tests at the docs and husbands sperm has come back as ok count, but poor motility (5%) which has completely floored me as we had no probs conceiving ds (now 3).

After reading everything I can find, it sounds like ICSI is our best option. Went back to the docs for a referal to go private (not entitled to NHS funding due ds). Saw a nurse who said she couldn't do referals and would speak to the GP and call us back. She eventually phoned and said that we just had to find a clinic we liked and refer ourselves.

I feel so out of my depth and have so many questions. Once I find a clinic will they do all the same tests again, just to make sure what the doc said is right, or do they just take our word for what the doc said? I'm confused. Also how long does it take for the whole thing to start once we have our first appt - is it weeks or months? I see the treatment seems to be around £5000-6000 a cycle - is that the same every attempt or does it get cheaper (because they've already taken some eggs out)?

I am driving myself stir crazy and not sleeping. This morning finally lost it with dh because he never talks about things.

We have an appt on 5th Jan with the doc who looked at dh's results, so maybe I will get some clarity then? Dr did say for hubby to take vitamins for 3 months, so next dilemma is whether to give them the 3 months to work or just get on with the IVF appointments?  ?

I'm so sorry for rambling, but I don't want to talk to any of my friends about this yet.

Thanks for reading, if you got this far.

Fx


----------



## zorrogirl (Dec 30, 2010)

Hello Aquapinkdog,

I'm not quite in the same boat as I've got no children yet, but I'm also 34 and this is my first attempt of IVF.

I'm quite freaked out and frankly it really didn't sink in yet. I don't know why I have to go through it. Always healthy and no women in my family had any problems with conceiving. When we went to see fertility doctor we were told I have increasing ovarian reserve and my partner has sperm that is not  necessarily completely out of consciousness but very nearly. We have (somehow) qualified for nhs funding which is great, but I've heard most women need more then one cycle and really doubt we could afford to pay for it ourselves.

I know in this day and age IVF is quite normal (my friend gave birth to a lovely babyboy only few month back, and through ivf), so why does it feel so strange and unnatural? Maybe it's just me.

I hope your worries will get solved soon. 

All the best and keep your chin up.
X


----------



## jen747 (Oct 7, 2010)

Hiya,

Has your dh just had the one test? I think normally the dr would suggest getting a second test done as the results of SA can vary from month to month so it's usually best to get a second test done to make sure that it wasn't just a blip.

I would ask your dr for a retest as you will be charged for the test if you go private. Once you've had that second SA you can then take both sets of results to the private clinic and see what they advise. 

We are currently waiting for our PCT to agree funding for ICSI as we have male IF issues too. It's taken me a while to come to terms with it and now i just want to get started!

Jen
-x-


----------



## bunny73 (Jan 29, 2009)

Hi There   

You are in the right place to meet people in the same boat and to get reassurance and some good advice - FF is brilliant.

When you decide on a clinic things should move quite quickly after making and having ur first appt.
Iv had funded treatment and was really lucky with how fast things moved. It prob does depend on what clinic you decide on, as some of them may have waiting lists etc. As for your tests im sure the clinic wouldnt have to re-do any, as long as they can get any results they need, they could either request them from your doctor or you could ask for copies to take with you. There are blood tests you will need done (if you havent already had them done) which again ur doctor can get done for you and that will save some money too.
A fresh cycle is what costs between £5000 - £6000. But if you get some frozen embryos then you will be able to have a frozen cycle which will be much cheaper. If not it will be another fresh go.

As for vitamins, my hubby also had only 5% motility and he started taking vitamin C and zinc tablets and by the time we had our first ICSI his sample was much better, I think it went up to 50% in the end   .
How many samples has ur DH done, because they can change soo much!?!

I hope I have helped a little, Im not sure if iv answered all ur questions, but feel free to ask me anything else.

Bunny xXx


----------



## lilmisssunshine (Dec 10, 2010)

My Dh is also taking vit e (400mg per day) and zince, before we were advised to try IVF he had to give three samples.  On the last samp0le we were advised to dtd 10 days before ovulation, leave it for a week and then dtd then on ov and then three days after.  This will be our first month of trying on the tablets.  good luck


----------



## aquapinkdog (Dec 23, 2010)

Ladies, thanks for listening to my whinging and for replying.
I really appreciate it and it's reasurring to know I'm not alone.

DH has only done one sample so far...they said he needs to go back in 75 days for another test. I didn't realise it could increase a huge amount with vitamins, but that's good to hear Bunny. Thanks. I keep hearing different things about what vits he should be taking, so I have got him Wellman Conception multivitamins, Maca and pumpkin/sunflower seeds. He said he's going to be rattling soon, but I said 'if that's what it takes, tough'  .

Let's hope this year is good to us all  . 

Fx


----------



## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

Welcome to FF, Aquapinkdog! (great name by the way!) This is a great website for support, information, laughter and friendship, it has kept me (relatively!) sane though all my treatment. I don't know how I would have coped without the lovely people here. Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you.

I live abroad so I am not 100% sure how the UK system works, hopefully the others will be able to help.

Here are a couple of links that I think might help you.

A Rough Guide To IVF ~CLICK HERE

(This is a breakdown of the procedure of IVF which is the same as ICSI up until the point of fertilisation, With ICSI the embryologist injects one good sperm into one good egg, and repeats until all are used. So it gives them a helping hand, with IVF the eggs and sperm are left to fertilise by themselves)

Questions for your first cycle consultation ~ (use the ones that apply) CLICK HERE

ICSI chat ~ CLICK HERE

Male factors ~ CLICK HERE I am sure they will be able to offer you some advice on the vitamins.

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment ~ CLICK HERE

The What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) thread will give you some info on how to navigate the site ~ CLICK HERE

We also have a newbie night in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet other new members and a few more experienced (I won't use the term "old"!) members will be there to answer any questions you have about the site. CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT

If you look on the main forum index you will find location boards. You can find others in your area, and even people going to the same clinic who will provide invaluable advice - some groups even have meet ups.

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it. We go through all the highs and lows of treatment together - and you can certainly ramble whenever you like!

Good luck!             

Sue


----------



## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

aquapinkdog said:


> We have an appt on 5th Jan with the doc who looked at dh's results,


How did it go??

Sue


----------



## aquapinkdog (Dec 23, 2010)

Hi Sue, 
Sorry for late reply. I haven't been around much.
Thanks for asking though....
The Dr was really positive despite the results (she said DH's got poor levels of morphology aswell as poor motility), but she seemed to think a lot of experts weren't that fussed about morphology. Don't know if that's right or not?
Anyway, she's convinced us to wait for another 3 months for DH to do another test, as he's now on Wellman Vits and pumpkin/sunflower seeds, rather than rushing off to the IVF clinic to go private, as I was planning.
In the meantime she also said why don't I get the rest of my tests done on the NHS while I'm waiting for DH to be able to re-do his test, because the fertility clinic appt would take about 3 months anyway.  So I am going for an ultrasound on 4Feb to check everything ok there, and I literally have just got the letter to book an appt at the clinic - had a quick look and have a choice of 4 hospitals with waiting times of between 20 and 71 days. Far quicker than I anticipated, so not sure whether to go for the sooner or later appt as DH cant do his test again until March.

All in all I am feeling far more positive than I was back in December, so now just got to keep everything crossed the clinic can help.

I hope all you other ladies are getting on ok.

Love Fx


----------



## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

Glad you are feeling more positive, F.  Looks like they are looking after you and doing lots of tests.

Good luck!          

Sue


----------

