# AWAITING RESULTS/NEXT STEPS CHIT CHAT - PART 1



## karenanna

*AWAITING RESULTS/INVESTIGATIONS/NEXT STEPS CHIT CHAT*

A few ladies new to Fertility Friends have been asking about the best place to chat whilst awaiting results of tests and their next steps in terms of treatment.

So here's a place to share experiences, emotions, hopes and dreams, and your next steps ....

Happy chatting


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## kimmibobs

Hi folks! Happy to kick this off...
I've had some tests already but essentially we're quite early on in our investigations. I originally went to the GP because I wasn't getting any positive results using OPKs - it was like I was never ovulating despite having regular periods. They did some blood tests which revealed consistently low progesterone, but after a few months they got an ok progesterone count so they deemed me ok. By then it was a year TTC so they sent me for an ultrasound. Rather worryingly they couldn't find my ovaries at the scan so I had to have a transvaginal ultrasound. They found some nabothian cysts on my cervix, so I was referred for a colposcopy to investigate. They did a biopsy of one of the cysts which was completely normal, hurrah. DH got an appointment for his SA and I had one for an HSG, but then we get an amazing job offer for DH and so moved 250 miles away...
Sadly the new place wouldn't investigate us until we'd been TTC for 2 years, so the SA and HSG were never done. We naively assumed once we were in 'the system' we'd just pick up where we left off. Sadly that's not the case, and I've also discovered down here you only get one round of IVF on the NHS, compared to the three we'd have had up North. I've written to the CCG and my MP about it, as the latest NICE guidelines suggest all areas should offer up to 3 rounds.
We've now been TTC for 2 years and DH is due for his SA on 5th August at BCRM. I'll then have the HSG and my bloods repeated. I do get down about our situation - I'm 33 and DH is 32, and most of our friends have completed their families now. I'm upbeat until the dreaded AF arrives, then I have some very weepy times! I feel like I've always known I might struggle to conceive - I've been off the pill for over ten years and not used anything other than condoms and withdrawal since then. It seems unlikely I've not been caught out before! DH has also had a number of health issues since childhood and as such is pretty much always on medication of some sort. He's convinced his SA will go badly - so trying to stay positive for the both of us at the moment! 
Anyone around the same stage as us?
Kim xx


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## karenanna

Hi Kimmibobs - well done for kicking things off  

Have a read of this http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=226042.0 - Vitamin B6 can help with progesterone production.

KA xxx


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## LittleStampede

Hi Karenanna, Kimmibobs and anyone else reading this 

Kimmibobs - I hope your tests go ok, please keep us updated. It's crazy that you have to almost 'start again' even though you still live in England - you'd think there'd be some continuity.

A bit about us:
TTC for over a year (Cambridgeshire based), went for tests Dec 2013 - DH bloods came back ok, my progesterone levels on day 21 all ok. Told to come back in a few months.
Went back June 2014 - awful Dr (female), just printed a form off the internet and sent us away. Came away in tears as she showed no sympathy. Went back the following week after complaining, much better Dr (male) who showed genuine concern and care. I had blood tests (all ok), DH went for SA at hospital this morning and awaiting results. He's referred us to a specialist so waiting for an appt with them (should be about a months time).

I agree with you Kimmibobs, it's all very emotional, hate the couple of days when AF arrives. Everyone else around seems to get pregnant so easily, literally the first month and it's horrible to see. I want to be happy for them but at the same time I'm insanely envious!

Fingers crossed!

x


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## Sheilaweb

GPs can be soo cold and uncaring to downright clueless when it comes to infertility - when my hubby was constantly being sent for more SA's (just to check the result) - we were told it was low, and referred for IUI.  When we finally got to our appointment with our IUI consultant, he couldn't understand why we'd been referred to him  as he wouldn't be able to help at all!!!  Instead it was he who referred us for ICSI....it was a long wait but sooo worth it.

I have to say the wait to get the ball rolling is the worst part - and we're here to support you ladies every step of the way 

Hugs
Sheila


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## dollyparty

Hello Ladies,

This is my first post here. We've been TTC 18 months now with no success at all, Little Stampede I am also in Cambridgeshire.
Kimmibob, that must be so disappointing that moving have put you back so far. Apparently in our area people used to be offered 3 rounds of IVF but earlier this year it was changed to 2.
We went to the doctors at the start of April to get the ball rolling in finding out what our issues might be. I had blood tests to check ovulation which have come back normal, and some swabs for STIs and something else which were fine. My H's sperm analysis came back very low though, so the Dr said we had to wait 3 months and then do a repeat test. We did that on Friday and now we're waiting for the results. They take 7 days to come through then we'll have to see the Dr.
The GP has been really nice, however he did suggest that even if we have a really low sperm count we will still fall into the unexplained fertility camp and have to wait until we have been trying for 3 years until they'd refer us for IVF. I'm hoping he has got that bit wrong.
It is an emotional rollercoaster, having to dust yourself off after each months disappointment.

DPx


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## LittleStampede

Hi DollyParty,

Thanks for sharing your story - it sounds like you're in the same position as us but about 3-4months further ahead. I'm in Peterborough - are you around that area? Did you go to see the fertility specialist at the hospital? We're due DH SA results back next week, I really hope they don't make us repeat after 3 months 

x


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## kimmibobs

Hi all, 

Oh wow DP, I'm disappointed that after a low SA they'd send you away and say try again in 3 months! Did they suggest you could do anything to improve the count in that time? I don't understand the need to wait! I hope the results come back positively for you though. That's also really sad that you'd still have to wait for 3 years TTC before being referred - fingers crossed it's something that could be helped without IVF?

LittleStampede - so sad your GP was so unhelpful. I've found it really varies - some are brilliant, some are dreadful! I've had them contradict each other before - one said my progesterone was normal and the other said it was far too low. They were looking at the same test! I think you just have to be really honest and say if you're not happy - well done you for complaining! 

I just had to book a sample room for DHs SA - he was too embarrassed to call  .  Basically it's 45 mins away and our appointment is right in the middle of the working day, so we've both booked the afternoon off (DH doesn't drive as he's partially sighted). They say you have to deliver the sample within 1 hour of production so we'll have to do it there! Very nervous! Does he go in on his own?! Do they talk you through the results?

Kim xx


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## karenanna

dollyparty said:


> Hello Ladies,
> 
> This is my first post here. We've been TTC 18 months now with no success at all, Little Stampede I am also in Cambridgeshire.
> Kimmibob, that must be so disappointing that moving have put you back so far. Apparently in our area people used to be offered 3 rounds of IVF but earlier this year it was changed to 2.
> We went to the doctors at the start of April to get the ball rolling in finding out what our issues might be. I had blood tests to check ovulation which have come back normal, and some swabs for STIs and something else which were fine. My H's sperm analysis came back very low though, so the Dr said we had to wait 3 months and then do a repeat test. We did that on Friday and now we're waiting for the results. They take 7 days to come through then we'll have to see the Dr.
> The GP has been really nice, however he did suggest that even if we have a really low sperm count we will still fall into the unexplained fertility camp and have to wait until we have been trying for 3 years until they'd refer us for IVF. I'm hoping he has got that bit wrong.
> It is an emotional rollercoaster, having to dust yourself off after each months disappointment.
> 
> DPx


DP - I looked up the Cambridgeshire Policy for you and it looks as though your GP is right, unless they find an "absolute" cause for infertility you have to have been TTC for 3 years - see link http://www.cambsphn.nhs.uk/Libraries/Surgical_Threshold_Policies/ASSISTED_CONCEPTION_IVF_THRESHOLD_April_2014_-_V1.sflb.ashx

/links

I think by absolute they would expect a zero sperm count rather than a low one. Some of these policies are so mean and disheartening.

KA xxx


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## dollyparty

Hi LittleStampede,

I'm in Ramsey so not far from you at all, and we're covered by the same policy. We've not seen a fertility specialist yet, this is still all via the GP. He said he couldn't refer us to a specialist until he'd done a second SA. He said they never take the results of just one because the results of a SA can be varied by many factors.

Kimmibobs, the doctor only suggested being healthy and reducing stress, my husband isn't overweight, doesn't smoke and only drinks very moderately. We also had to get our sample to a hospital 45mins away. My H didn't want to use their room though so I drive like a bat out of hell both times to get it there, and we managed it!! Both times we've had the results 7 days later and then booked a GP appointment to talk through them.

Karenanna, yes this is the policy I've seen and the GP gave us a copy. I find it devastating that you have to have zero sperm. We only had 2 million so our chances of conceiving naturally if it is still that low are very small  
I don't know if there can be reasons for it being low that can be fixed.

Our results should be in today so I am going to try and get an appointment for next week.

xx


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## LittleStampede

Hi DollyParty,

How strange that we're so close yet we've been treated so differently - it just goes to show how different doctors treat you.

Am hoping we'll hear back at some point next week about hubby's SA, then see where we go from there I suppose. Am not sure what to expect - if it comes back normal then why aren't get getting pregnant, if it comes back low / zero then at least we can move forwards and know what our issue is. He's been doing everything he should be doing (vitamins, bananas, brazil nuts etc) so if that hasn't improved it then I don't know what will!

xx


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## karenanna

DP - there are a few posts on the Male Factors board about vitamins for improving sperm results - here is just one example http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=323609.0 I know they recommend wearing looser clothing and not getting sweaty around the bits for making some improvements.

KA xxx


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## LittleStampede

Hi all,

How is everyone getting on?

Bit of an update from us: DH has been on the phone to the Dr this morning and the hospital have no record of him going in for SA. ****** off is an understatement! The Dr has kicked off at the hospital as obviously this delays everything even further. Anyway, DH is re-booked in for next Friday, then hopefully they'll rush through the results and we'll finally get some answers...

Arghhhh!!


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## kimmibobs

That's crazy - how can they have no record?! I feel for you - so frustrating! 

We've got first SA next Tues


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## LittleStampede

Hi Kim,

I know it's so frustrating - they knew he went in but after that... nothing!! Ridiculous!!

Good luck with yours next week - I hope you don't go through the same thing as us! 

x


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## kimmibobs

Hurrah - DH has done the SA - not as stressful as he thought. They said about 10 days for results, thankfully I'm going away with work for 8 days as of Friday so I'll be very distracted! I'll keep you posted...

DollyParty - any sign of your results yet?


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## sbb23

Hi everyone, after reading some of your experiences, it appears the genuine lack of urgency in GPs and hospitals is common! Me and H also moved like Kimmibob and had to repeat all tests and more that we're done up North.. It also seems a lot slower here in London as we started investigations in Dec and have just fini our tests now. We were told to book a referel app together so doc can refer us and they booked us in with a doc who had not dealt with our fertility issues and seemed clueless and actually said I'm not a specialist and can't refer you you should have booked app with original doc who was of course now on hol so we have to wait another 3 weeks to discuss results!!! Why didn't they book us with right doc I had to re-arrange my hol plans for this appointment as you all know, nothing is worse than the frustration of not knowing what is next but they so casually tell us to rearrange and "Goodluck"  Also like you Kimmibob they lost hubby's sperm sample, which had to be done again!!! 
Hope you all get things moving along soon xxx


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## lilllis

Hi Guys

Kim, Little & Dolly any news about DH SA?

We have had a private hospital cock up....we went for a genetics consult yesterday (private because the waiting list in Wales is horrific! Our clinic has offered to apply for NHS funding for us) and we need the genetic report and genetic counseling report - the Dr was beyond rude and a sexist pig, he spoke and only looked directly to my husband, cut me off mid sentence or didn't let me speak, after an hour of him ignoring me and basically telling us we should wait for NHS for 18 months rather than wasting money, I lost it a little, talking to me like I have not looked in to anything at all and when I did inform him what I had researched already and why we had done the test private his reply was 'yes I know how it works its my job' so so angry .... anyway we then have bloods done and just before we leave I double checked that they have our payment details, only to find out they have no idea of the cost and the £250 I was quoted (£200 consult and £50 genetic blood test) is incorrect its more like £1200 but they have no idea and will have to tell me tomorrow -  however I have one up on them... I called off my work phone and its recorded  they have already said had I had anything in writing they would have to honor it... I am guessing the phone call will work just as well  

Also had our first consult at the Oxford clinic - a bit of a waist of time for the money but had to do it for the formality and they confirmed again happy to apply to NHS 

Karen, Dr looked at my AMH and said its fine and that they would be carful not to over stimulate but not worried about PCO/S so that's fine


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## LittleStampede

Hi,

Lil thats sound awful, have you complained about him? They really should included empathy and personality traits in some of the Drs exams, especially topics as sensitive as this!

So tonight at 5:20pm DH will get his SA results. I'm not able to go with him because of work, but an really nervous. Whatever the result is it won't be good - if it's normal then why aren't I pregnant, and if it's not normal then it just seems like there's endless appts ahead of us 

xx


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## LittleStampede

Hi,

Finally had the results and SA came back a little on the low side but nothing to worry about - he just got told to keep them cool so am off to buy him some cotton boxers at lunchtime! Typical hubby didn't ask for a copy of the results so I don't know percent morphology, count or anything - going to make him phone up and get them as I'm a numbers kind of girl!

We've got an appt with the specialist on 19th Sept so fingers crossed 

x


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## kimmibobs

Oh that's good news, so pleased you've finally got the results and there's no cause for concern! What's the next step then? 

We're anxiously waiting SA results now - we were told it would be about 2 weeks and that's today, so going to give it another few days then ring up to see what's going on.


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## LittleStampede

I know how nerve-wracking the waiting for results can be - I think we only got our second lot back so quickly because they lost the first ones, otherwise I would've been a nervous wreck!

I think hubby and I just need to carry on taking vitamins and being relatively healthy, then see what the specialist has to say on 19th Sept. Got a holiday for a couple of weeks before then so hoping it'll come round really quickly.

Please let me know how you get on x


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## DollyBlueBags

Hi Ladies..please can I join you?

My progesterone level came back as 15  but (sods law) my period came early this month so I'm hoping when its repeated next time it will be higher. 

My hubby had a call today from our GP practice telling him that his SA results were back but that he had to make an appointment to either see or talk to his GP on the phone to get the results. My hubby is a paramedic and at work now until his days off on Sunday and bank holiday Monday (so obviously GP not open) then hes back at work Tuesday!

I phoned the GP surgery myself and explained that it wasn't fair to phone and say the GP wants to talk to you about the SA results but then due to shifts not be able to go until late next week so we picked up a medical form today to say hubby is happy for Dr's to discuss his medical notes with me. I have to phone in the morning to get a telephone appointment. 

I know its only one night we have to wait but were both sat here watching me write this in tears at what the result might be.
My hubby has a 9 year old son so we always thought the problem was me. 

I'm really hoping that its all normal and they just cant give the results out without seeing a GP. 

xxx


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## LittleStampede

Hi Mrs Peach,

Just wanted to drop you a quick note to say PLEASE don't worry - that is perfectly normal. We had exactly the same thing - hubby phoned Drs and they told him they couldn't discuss it over the phone. So he had to make an appt and go in to see him. Hubby asked the Dr and he said it's normal protocol. (In the end, hubby's count was a little low but nothing to be worried about).

So please don't cry!!  

x


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## kimmibobs

Ditto!!!! We've always had to see the GP for results - receptionists aren't allowed to give them out because they don't have the medical knowledge to explain what the numbers mean. Please don't worry - it's normal procedure! I hope the results are ok - thinking of you


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## DollyBlueBags

Hi ya,

so.....this morning I rang the practice and they gave me a telephone appointment. Literally 5 mins later the GP called me and told me over the phone that my hubby's SA results were back and that he had low sperm count and form  

We thought it would just be me as my progesterone came back at 15. Hubby already has a 9 year old son who is literally a mini version of him - no worries about him not being his. 

So double whammy for us  I know that we both need testing again but I'm so gutted. 

Hope everyones OK?

xx


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## kimmibobs

Hi all,

Just got results back from SA, all "normal". DH didn't think to ask for numbers, but the person he spoke to also didn't say what any next steps are. So what happens now? I've managed to make a telephone appointment for next Tues when I'll ask what's next. I guess it's more poking and prodding for me! I know I should be happy that there's nothing wrong with DH, but I feel really sad. At least when you know what the problem is you can deal with it! This not knowing is horrid. 

Kim xx


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## sbb23

Hi Kimmibob, that's great news!   The next step is usually a joint appointment for you both to discuss results and possible next steps with your GP as far as I'm aware. They will still refer you to a fertility specialist and probably more tests.. I'm no expert but that's what I've experienced. We are currently waiting for our joint appointment to discuss next steps etc this Tuesday  . Also, I've just had my sis come over to stay with my beautiful 16 months old niece for the past 3 days. This has left me reeling even more about not being able to conceive and wanting a baby so badly. Does it get any easier


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## sbb23

Hi Mrs Peach, so sorry to hear your news  Sending hugs your way. However, it may not be entirely accurate so try not to worry till you get your second results Hun. In the meantime try to stay positive and distract yourself with a hobby or time pass as tests can take a while.. Lots of luck for your second tests xx


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## DollyBlueBags

Thanks for the reply, it's easier said then done to keep distracted I'm afraid as I work in A&E in both adults and children's. Every day I have to look at beautiful little babies  x


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## sbb23

That must be really difficult Mrs Peach. I know what you mean, just being around my 16 month niece is so hard and just reminds you of how difficult it is for you to make something so "natural" to others.   I seem to notice pregnant bellies every time I'm out and feel both pining and envious of the simplicity with which others get pregnant. As I said earlier my niece and sister had come over to stay for 3 days and we had her little feet pattering through the apartment and it felt so right and beautiful but when they went home I couldn't hold back the tears and just felt so depressed. I really wasn't expecting to feel this way. It just made me realise what we'd be missing out on   my advice would be just try to stay positive   Even though it is hard. I know exactly how you feel distraction does become impossible especially when waiting for results etc xxxx


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## sbb23

We went to see the GP today to discuss our results. Hubby's low sperm count was confirmed and my tests seem to be normal. Feeling so arghhhhhh! As the doctor says despite having 10 mil sperm and motility of 10% this shouldn't b a factor too much!!! What After being told by my previous GP in York shire that we are very unlikely it have a child naturally because of low sperm she tells us this! What is affecting it then, that's what I felt like screaming to her. She didn't seem to answer any questions properly and was very vague. We have now been referred to Hammersmith for further tests etc. she said I'll need the dye test to check my tubes are not blocked. After that, God knows and she did mention a waiting list!! You think you're gonna come away from the docs having clear answers and a direction but instead you corm back feeling even more frustrated than before!


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## kimmibobs

I feel I should apologise for being such a grumpy bum in my last post. Of course it's good news that DHs SA was fine - I know so many of you are getting results of a different sort and I must seem like such an ungrateful moo! Apologies. 

sbb23 - the more I go through this process the more I'm tempted to just go private. I'm told so many conflicting things by different people, none of whom actually seem to want to get to the bottom of things and help us. DH and I talked it through at the weekend, and depending on how my chat with the NHS doc goes today, we're prepared to go private just to get things moving. I feel like every day I'm getting older and therefore less likely to conceive naturally - I'm willing any treatment we have to yield twins as the thought of going through this again is pretty depressing!

Fingers crossed for good news for all xx


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## kimmibobs

Quick update, I'm to have all my bloods repeated, then the GP is happy to refer us to BCRM (Bristol Centre for Reproductive Medicine). Hopefully we'll have the paperwork to be referred in about 6 weeks.


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## DollyBlueBags

I know what you mean about going private. We get our investigations On the nhs but have to pay for any treatment but this isn't necessary a bad thing in my eyes. My friend and her boyfriend are going through exactly the same thing as us, both having fertility issues. We go to the same gp practice but her journey started 2 years ago she keeps being told to loose weight and just keep trying, they haven't been refered to the fertility clinic yet but will get everything for free when they do. Us on the other hand will have to pay, only been trying 9 months and had everything done and been referred in only 4 weeks.


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## kimmibobs

Forgive my ignorance - why the difference in funding between you and your friend, mrs peach?


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## DollyBlueBags

Sorry my bad...I should have added my husband has a 9 year old son from his 1st marriage x


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## kimmibobs

Oh I see. So even though he now has some results that aren't ideal, you still aren't eligible? Seems rough


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## DollyBlueBags

Yea doesn't matter if there's anything wrong with us or not we have to pay. I knew this from the beginning though so it really doesn't bother me. I opened a savings account a few months ago for my baby. I don't care how much it costs as long as it happens.


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## kimmibobs

Such a proactive and positive thing to do. Good for you hon. Stay strong - I tell myself (rightly or wrongly) children who come from these situations are some of the most loved in the world - what a precious gift to give xx


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## DollyBlueBags

Yes I agree with you, I see some women where I work with a trail of children walking behind them and shes pregnant with the next one. Shes more bothered about where the exit is for a smoke then where her 6 kids are. 

Yes she might love her kids but not like I would love and lok after them if they were mine


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## 2nd time lucky

Hi ladies. I hope you don't mind me crashing your chat too. I can identify and relate to many of the comments here between differing opinions amongst doctors and feeling that wherever you turn there is yet another pregnant woman. My husband and I are fairly early on in our investigations. He has had two SA, first one we were told that count and motility were both normal but the other figure was slightly low - this particular doc just said he doesn't tend to take the other figure into account though and did not elaborate on it further. Haven't had results back from second one. I had a laporoscopy with dye and HSC done two days ago, which I am just recovering from. Maybe this is wrong but have mixed feelings as was told everything looked fine and tubes were clear. In a way I thought that it might be better for there to be a reason but I know how ungrateful that sounds when I read what others have gone through so I really am trying to stay positive. Have an ultrasound scan on Friday but not really sure what else this will be looking for that the lap or HSC would not have picked up. Any ideas? From here I'm not really sure what the next steps are. Will it be getting referred for treatment? And if we are in "unexplained", which is looking likely will it be IVF that we can go for straight away? We are in Scotland and have no idea of waiting times for treatment. It's the waiting and uncertainty that's so stressful. You can stay positive for so long, get back on that horse and really go for it but each month that the painters make an appearance again, you sometimes can't help thinking "what is the problem" - sorry for rant, and for appearing selfish as I know I am probably in a better position than some in that at least I've been seen to and haven't been told any bad news. Sending positive vibes to all you girls waiting on tests coming through, results and just for those moments of desperation and frustration. It really helps hearing from others who can relate to similar situations though x x


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## sbb23

Hi all, after having 3 days of feeling like nothing is worthwhile anymore. I have finally come back to normality. Kimmibob, you are right. I really felt like she just didn't want to answer my questions. I was told I had a fibroid and when I asked her about it she just said don't worry about it many women have them. She was very dismissive of the symptoms I was having like painful intercourse, period pain and constant need to urinate- saying it's not due to that it must be something else-no mention of investigating what it may be due to though. I felt she was treating me like a paranoid woman wanting to get pregnant and worrying about everything-which may have been the case but it would have been nice to get some reassurance. Don't get me wrong I am very grateful to hear that my fibroid is the size of a finger tip (as she demonstrated) but she wasn't even looking at me when talking but simply her computer screen. Like you said Kimmibob, it really felt like she just wanted to have us carry in trying, hence her down playing the role of the low sperm. We've been ttc for 3 years but these people have no idea about your circumstances and I guess they want to avoid paying for treatment. 
Mrs peach,it's unfair that your treatment won't be funded but I agree with you at least your process seems to be a lot quicker cos your going private. Me and hubby have started to discuss this option too now. Could you direct me to any possible avenues where I can get info about going private costs etc please. 
Dawny Mcp- it does seem that your further in your investigations which is great and I guess if infertility is unexplained you should be put on the list of treatment sooner. Are you with a fertility clinic? How long have you been going through you're investigations? The ultra sound is possibly to look at your ovaries-if they haven't done already. This is to check you don't have cysts etc. it seems odd that you had the lap first and scan second. I have no idea about the next steps Hun, unfortunately when I asked that question was not given a clear answer. I hope it is quick for you and you are referred. Good luck


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## 2nd time lucky

Sbb23, so sorry that it sounds as though you have been treated so dismissively. I think sometimes the medical profession forget that Yes, to them, some things are not too much cause for concern but when it's happening to you for the first time and you're really hanging on their every word sometimes a little reassurance wouldn't go amiss. I hope that you will get more answers soon. Abs thanks for your comments about the scan. The girl in the bed next to me when getting the lap done said that she got the scan first. In fact I had no idea I was getting sent for a scan until I received a letter on Saturday saying I had an appointment this Friday. Didn't actually say what it was for just that I had to have a fill bladder. I'll ask more on Friday. We got referred to the infertility clinic at our local hospital after having several bloodiest carried out by GP surgery. Two of these came back with my prolactin levels high, which I didn't understand and was just told it was the hormone produced in breastfeeding women so was even more confused. Last one came back normal, so we got referred. Had our joint appointment on 23rd June when hubby sent for 2nd SA and me put on waiting list for laporoscopy etc so only 2 months wait which I didn't think was bad. Just a bit anxious as to what steps are now going to be and dreading being told of a long waiting for treatment. I'm 34 and hubby 41. He is starting to get especially conscious of the age thing. We've been actively trying for almost 2 years but been off the pill for about 4. X x


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## DollyBlueBags

sbb23 - If you google fertility clinics in your area they will come up, send them an email and ask them when their next open evening is and go along and meet them. 

The one im looking at has a price list! lol 

xx


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## sbb23

Thank you Dawny McP, I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens next. You're absolutely right, when going through this process you really do put all your trust into the docs and some just don't seem to realise how desperately you've been waiting for the appointment so you can get some answers-rearranging other plans etc just so you can make the next available app. As for your scan, if you have not had one before then it definitely will be the scan of the ovaries to see if everything is ok in uterus etc. Most likely they check for endometriosis, poly cystic ovaries, fibroid and if ovaries look okay. I had to have mine twice because they thought I had a cyst but it can be due to ovulation therefore it disappears  and thankfully my second scan came clear showing it was due to ovulation and not cyst. They insert the cam via the vagina it is not really uncomfortable but the full bladder will make you want to burst.  Also, my initial prolactin level also came back high but the doc said the stimulation of breasts can cause this and told me to refrain from any "stimulation" and repeat the test which came back normal the second time so don't worry about it Hun   Basically if you're Proclactin level is high it can be an indication that ovulation is not occurring as breast feeding women have this as natures contraception but as I pointed out it does not always mean this and if you're last results were fine then there may have been other reasons. I know what you mean about the wait Hun but hopefully things will move along for you- I think just be as pushy as you can with them to get the ball rolling xxx

Mrs Peach, thank you for the reply will look into it. Do you know if we have to do all the tests again or do they except he nhs tests if we do go private? X


----------



## Dragonfly32

Hi everyone, I hope you don't mind me joining your conversation. I too am at the same stage, the unknown and the gut wrenching waiting game, where you are hanging on every word from the Drs. 

We had our tests back from the consultant a few weeks ago now. My DH initial SA was low count and low mobility (from the GP tests) then when his SA was retested the consultant said it was pretty much at zero and there was no chance of us conceiving naturally. She did however then end the consultation on...don't worry it only takes one! (I feel we all know how it works by now and probably don't need to be reminded of the one sperm thing!) 

My HSG was clear and my ultrasound came back as PCO (when I did have the ultrasound the nurse said one ovary was very large but with no cysts, however by the time the consultant had the scan she said there were cysts, I imagine someone else must have looked at the scans between the nurse and the consultant). My progesterone came back at 4 or 6... my memory is letting me down. The GP and consultant seemed to agree that I don't ovulate, but they don't seem to be too worried about this? I also have ridiculously long periods on a standard cycle but they seem to have no explanation for this. 

So...we are now waiting for a referral to UCH (London?) for a male factor specialist. I think they will then look at doing a sperm retrieval after the initial consultation. We are now waiting for the appointment letter, apparently the letter for the appointment date usually takes 6 weeks to come through, why does it take that long to send a letter out?!!?! Then on the waiting list again for whatever they decided to do, then a referral back to Essex to get the IVF (ICSI). 

We were looking at moving down to Hampshire recently (we had to move to Essex temporarily 2 and a half years ago) I have just found out that they only have 1 round of IVF rather than the 3 here.  It's all such a frustrating process!


----------



## DollyBlueBags

Sbb23, you won't have to have every test done again maybe just bloods or SA so it's a recent result. I know from reading on here that the main problem has been the private clinic and the nhs talking to each other and getting all your notes across to the private clinic. 

I have a copy of every result from every test me and hubby have had, and just if the results were normal but I've got all the exact medical jargon that the gp received. I've also got all the emails of me talking to the nhs fertility clinic and the private one. These are in a folder that I take to every appointment. X


----------



## DollyBlueBags

Sorry that should of said and not just if the results were normal.


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## sbb23

Hi Dragonfly, I'm sorry to hear about your results   and know how you must be feeling. They may not be treating your non ovulation as the main factor because there are drugs which can be used to hopefully kick start that but you're right it is still important and you should ask them what they can do in terms of treatment etc. as for Hubby's sperm count it can vary a lot between samples as new sperm are produced every 3 months. My hubby's initial sample was 6 mill with normal motility and second sample was 10 mil with low motility. And in our consultation we got the exact words you quoted "it only takes one." I don't think the docs realise that initially hearing those words gives you hope but 2 years down the line and still not getting anywhere it just feels patronising! We've recently moved to London so had to start our investigations all over again. The doc asked us are we going to stay here for a couple of years now before deciding to send a letter to Hammersmith clinic - what? "How many years is it going to take?" I wanted to scream at her!

Mrs Peach, thanks for the tips I'll be contacting my doc for a copy of all our results so far.


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## kimmibobs

Welcome Dawny McP and Dragonfly32!

I know we're one in a long line of patients for GPs, but I agree some are so much better than others. This is a really sensitive subject and to be honest, probably not one that can be dealt with in a standard 10 min appointment. I think each surgery should have at least one doc that's more trained in infertility issues, then they could take the patients that come in with these issues. Just having someone to explain blood test results would be helpful! I'm very tired of hearing "just relax, try not to worry about it" when I ask something specific. 

mrs peach that's such a good idea to get copies of everything and take it with you to each appointment. I will be doing that! 

sbb23 we used to be in West Yorkshire too but like you had to move for hubby's work. Its horrible having to go through it all again - why can't one clinic take the notes from the other?! Are you having to start right back at the beginning again?

Good luck to all receiving results soon... I have a repeat of the CD3 blood test on Monday. Hopefully after the CD21 test we'll get referred.


----------



## Dragonfly32

Thanks sbb23, that makes more sense, I would have thought though with the Drs going around saying it only takes one it would be sensible to at least kick start ovulation so there is more of a chance of the just 'one' getting somewhere!!
It is useful to know about the variation between the samples, DH was quite worried how it had gone from low to zero. 
We are going to try and reduce his stress levels, (not quite sure how just yet, still on the drawing board with that!) and eat more vegetables, we already eat pretty well fresh etc but will try anything right now! Part of our stress is related to where we are at the moment, but I think it might be increased if we have to move area and go back to the beginning of our investigations like you guys have, it must be so difficult for you both.

When you had to move down to London did the hospital you were with tell you you would have to start again or was is a surprise to you? I think I would have screamed at the woman. I feel that in the National Health Service it should be national rather than local, how can there be so much variation and differences in rules, and why isn't it possible to transfer from one hospital to another, it just seems absolutely ridiculous.


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## sbb23

Yep Dragonfly, that would definitely help chances of natural conception!! Common sense! My hubby started taking wellman conception tablets after the first sample and it did go from 6 to 10 million although the motility reduced from 34% to 10%  So not sure if overall it balances out or was better but u may want to try that. He also started wearing loose boxers. Yea it was difficult to start again and it took a lot longer this time round. The rules seems ridiculous and like you said add to an already stressful time.
We were at the fertility clinic in West Yorkshire and filling in the forms to see specialist when I mentioned we'd be moving and she just stopped and said no point carrying on cos they'll repeat tests again- arghhhh! X


Kimmibob, yes we've had to start from scratch all over again! It just doesn't make any sense- just feels like they want to delay the process as much as possible x


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## Dragonfly32

We are on the wellman/wellwoman supplements, it's amazing how much they charge but then I guess £20 a month is less than IVF. It seems strange that your hubbys count improved and mobility decreased, I wonder how much of the changes are natural fluctuations, when looking into all these areas I do keep thinking I want to see some data on all of this. It feels like I am walking blind.

I have decided I am going to contact our fertility nurse (she gave us an email address....I think shell regret that) and try to get all our results sent to us and possibly discuss the moving areas, or maybe I will keep that one quiet for awhile. I also might bring up the ovulation drug to use while we are waiting. It seems if we are waiting for UCH London to get us an appointment and go through the initial consultation then to whatever they decide to do (it is currently being 'graded' before they decide when the appointment will be) We might as well see if the drug actually makes a difference, maybe that is too proactive! Does anyone have any experience on this grading for appointments?? 
Does anyone know how you are meant to approach the fertility gods in getting hold of your results, or are they meant to just give them to you? 

I totally understand how you feel about the delaying, its such an incredibly frustrating process.  I think to myself, wow we are at the beginning and if I get this upset now how will I be further on?! How far along had you got before you moved?

I hope everyone is getting on ok


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## k4teb1

Hi All

I was TTC in a previous relationship for nearly 5 years and unfortunately the trauma of IVF an miscarriages at our own cost (both emotional and financial) destroyed my relationship with my husband.  Thought i'd got over it but it never goes away and now awaiting results with my new partner of 2.5 years.  I've had my bloods and he is going for SA on Friday.

Kimmibobs I completely agree that every doctors surgery should have a dedicated doctor to deal with these issues however my doctor is a gynecologic specialist and still doesn't seem very concerned about my worries.

Good luck to everyone await those all important results.  Hopefully they will answer a lot of questions rather than raising new ones.

Fingers crossed xx


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## sbb23

Hi k4teb1, so sorry to hear about all that you've been through   And you're right no matter how long you've been in this journey it doesn't really get easier. Some days are better than others of course but that feeling of longing never leaves you. Good luck with your tests, hopefully it will be good news. 
Stay strong xxx


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## abby106

Hi everyone, my name is Abby and I have recently joined this site to try and speak to people going through similar situations. My husband and I have been TTC for 21 months and to be honest I am beginning to lose hope! His sperm test has come back fine, and Have had blood tests, including 3 months of progesterone tests and a full hormone profile. I've also had an hsg and ultrasound. We are due to get the results next week, and I'm just feeling confused about what I want to hear - if its unexplained, then why on earth isn't it happening?? If there is something wring, what if treatment is unsuccessful??

I've always had regular, 27 day cycles but they are quite heavy and very painful so that's worrying me too! I'm just finding it very hard to "relax" as people keep telling me too! I would be grateful to hear from people who have been trying for over a year, who have had testing, and what has happened as a result. This is a situation i never thought i would find myself in and I'm finding UT hard to get to grips with. All my friends have had babies very quickly, and as supportive as they are, i dint think they can truly understand!


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## Sheilaweb

We were swept along the donor sperm route when we had our ICSI on the nhs.  Hubby was diagnosed NOA - and we read here on FF that a number of couples had success using Wellman.  And it wouldnt affect hubbys medication for epilepsy.  My hubby too it religously for over 9 months.  In the end he had enough swimmers to give ICSI a go and our donor remained unused.

Going through this is heartbreaking and stressful, but never lonely - sadly 

Best wishes to everyone 
Sheila


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## LittleStampede

Hi all,

This thread has been a bit quiet for a while, I hope that's a good sign and you've all had positive news / are continuing with your journeys.

My hubby has also been taking Wellman tablets for about 9-10 months and SA came back slightly low. This was his first SA so we don't know how low it may / may not have been beforehand! Although they're not the cheapest things, I think it's a small price to pay and to be honest I'd pay anything right now!

Just found out a 38yr old woman at work is pregnant after only 1wk of trying. Am really happy for her but I feel rubbish - why her? Why not me? When will it be my turn?

Hubby and I have our first appt with the fertility specialist on Fri am at the local hospital. Really hope there's not too many more tests they need to do. I think I'm expecting a miracle 

xx


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## Dragonfly32

Hi 

We are still waiting... waiting for our appointment with a specialist in London that we have been referred to for my husband from our fertility consultant. We still aren't fully sure what is going on. The consultant said possible surgical sperm retrieval, but we thought that we would have an initial consultation first, the letter we got is very misleading (after a long month of chasing for it!!) as it said he would need to bring someone with him to drive him home. So we aren't too sure what is going on, we don't get very far with the phone numbers we have, so I think it'll be a bit of a surprise!

We are also on the wellman/wellwoman supplement, and lots of extra vegetables so I hope it does make a difference. It would be nice to have another SA in a few months just to see if there is any change.

LittleStampede...I really feel for you about the lady at work, it is so unbelievably heartbreaking and frustrating. I have someone at work who told me it was an accidental pregnancy, I just think to myself, but they were actively not trying, how does that work?! It is difficult because it becomes the hot topic at work, so there is really no escape from it. A girl from my class came up to me yesterday afternoon and told me how her brothers 18 year old girlfriend just had a baby and it was a surprise... it does feel sometimes that everybody else is extremely fertile!!

Good luck for your appointment on friday, hope you have some good news.

xx


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## LittleStampede

Hi again,

Kimmbobs have you heard how your CD3 blood tests went? 

Dragonfly I hope you get your referral appt soon - seems like there's been a mis-communication somewhere with regards to sperm retrieval.

K4teb1 have you had hubby's SA results yet? 

Abby - completely understand your situation but the help and suppotr on here is so valuable (and much needed if you're anything like me!)

We had our first appt with the fertility specialist at Peterborough Hospital this morning. She was a lovely lady and it was just lots of questions about health, TTC etc etc. Also had height and weight taken to understand BMIs. One question I do have though is that our Doctor said that SA results were slightly lower than normal but they were fine, but today the specialist said that 'only occasional motile sperm seen.' That was what was written in the section where there was a gap to write sperm count per million. So I'm thinking it's a LOT lower than normal if there's not even a count per million? Has anyone had any experience of this? She said that currently that looks like the reason we can't get pregnant.

Next steps for us are a CD2 blood test for me to understand FSH, hubby to lose weight (his BMI was 36 and needs to be 35 or less), and another SA in November. Then we're going back to see the specialist end of Nov when she'll most likely refer us for IVF. 

Long road ahead I think...  

Fingers crossed for you all xx


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## kimmibobs

Hi all! I got my CD3 results today, all fine, although I reserve judgement until I see the numbers myself! I have the CD21 test on Tuesday so will pick up a copy of the results then. Hoping for the referral appointment soon after - we've done everything we need to, so it should be plain sailing...

Hope everyone else is doing ok - LittleStampede I know what you mean about opinion, one doctor told me my progesterone was ok then another said it was very low, and they were looking at the same test. Starting to wonder how much of this is science and how much is subjective guessing!!!

Stay positive folks... 

xx


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## kimmibobs

Hi all,

Just had my CD21 test today, and picked up a copy of the results of my CD3 test so I can see all the numbers. They're quite reassuring - all looks good. I also booked our referral appointment for 14th October - DH and I have to go in together and hope they've got all the information they need to refer us! Thankfully we fly off on holiday that afternoon so we'll be able to relax for a week regardless of what they say. Will be nice to process these things away from family and friends for a while! My mum called me last night to tell me Great Auntie Liza says "take more vitamin E" -  I'm wondering who in the world doesn't know our business!

How is everyone else doing?

Kim xx


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## LittleStampede

Hi Kim,

That's all re-assuring that the numbers are fine. Hopefully you'll get referred on 14th Oct and not have anything else to test. Do you know where you'll get referred to?

We'll be going back late Nov for another meeting with the specialist to hopefully get referred, so only a month or so after you. She's given us a list of possible clinics that we might like to try, but I don't really know how to decide :s Bourn Hall in Cambridge is the closest, but one of the others appealed to me as you only have one meeting with them before treatment starts (and I'm fast running out of patience!) Got a bit excited this month as AF was 4days late, am still clinging on for a natural BFP. Got to have my CD2 blood tests tomorrow.

Oh no poor you having great aunts know! It's difficult to know who to tell and who not to!

Dragonfly, Abby, Kate, how are you all getting on?

xx


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## Guest

LittleStampede, sorry for butting in but I saw your post on another thread and thought I'd just say that my DH had similar SA results so we had ICSI. It did work for us, apart from my mc at 12 weeks. I then also got pregnant by surprise (and syringe!) a couple of months later (another MC but at least we got as far as bfp), so even low results don't mean it's impossible - I hope that helps in some way xx


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## sbb23

Hi all, haven't been on here for a while-back at work and a close friend lost her mum so been busy with that.
Sorry to hear you're still waiting Dragonfly, hope you get some answers soon.
Kimmibob your comment about your mum made me lol I can't tell you the amount of tips my mum seems to have gotten often "someone who was also struggling to conceive" and like you I wonder who else knows everything about me! I know they're just trying to help but sometimes it's just a bit much I feel. Also good to see your results came back fine   

I've received a letter for a appointment at the gynaecology unit and it states that they strongly recommend we both attend.. We've had HSG and other bloods and sperm test and the last time we spoke to doc she said she's gonna refer us to clinic but what for? So far we know hubby is the cause so why gynaecology? Any ideas would be much appreciated xxxx


----------



## LittleStampede

Hi 

Merlin, no need to apologise at all - it's stories like that that keep me sane and hoping there might be some small chance for us naturally! We're going for an open day at Bourn Hall on Saturday, just to get a feel for the place and chat to some staff about the process etc.

Sbb, do you think that they're doing tests on you just so that they can say that it's definitely male factor rather than both of you? So far they think ours is male factor only, but I'm sure there will come a time when I need scans etc just to make sure that I'm functioning ok as well. On the other hand, I think it's always best to attend all appts together, then you're both fully involved at every stage.

xx


----------



## Dragonfly32

Hi all, 

The next stumbling block in our story. . . Mid essex had cut their funding for ivf to no cycles. Not really sure what that means for us at the moment.  We are moving out of the area in the future luckily but I imagine other area might follow suit, or restarting in a new area which will only give 1 cycle after 3 years might just be a waste of time.  Think we are going to have to start seriously thinking about how much privately costs and how people afford it. Does anyone have any knowledge on this front?  

Sbb23, I raised a similar question about the gynaecology referral I was told it was the way they did things, I also think that might be where all the specialists are based.  (everything was done under my name and the nurses wouldn't actualy speak to my husband on the phone about his result, only to me) Our issues are both male and female factor so I don't know if they play a part.

Kim... How's the vitamin e?is it the new breakthrough fertility drug  ? It's amazing the advice you are given during this process,  and people either want to tell you how their friend at 43 got pregnant straight away unassisted (not helpful - so I apparently have loads of time), or how they know lots of people that were told they were infertile but then had children no problem or the good old one, just relax.

Hope everyone is getting on ok. 
Xx


----------



## miracle baby??

Hey everyone.  Just sat and read through all of your posts and hope im not intruding. I am not exactly in the same position as everyone else on here as my partner is transgender so we are fully aware that there is definitely no sperm. I was referred to a fertility clinic back in June and had my first appointment Thursday just gone. Was quite lucky that I was on day 3 of cycle so consultant referred me for day 2-5 bloods there and then but has advised that she doesn't normally do the day 21 test (should have asked why but didn't with all the jumble in my head) is this normal and how do you normally get the results as my next appointment with her is not until January 29th. Also what are normal results? She has referred me for a ultrasound and tubal dye test which I am waiting to come through. I am very nervous about the dye test as the consultant advised it is not very nice. Anyone that has experience of this test any advise would be brilliant.
I have seen a few people talking about paying private and the costs involved. 
Now forgive me if this is an idea you have all already considered but especially if you have unexplained infertility my consultant advised that egg sharing is a very good route to go down. It reduces the cost of your treatment by around £2000 and you get to help someone else achieve their dream of having a family too   this is something that really appeals to myself due to the fact we are going to need a donor to conceive ourself.  

Sending hopes and prayers to everyone that their wish comes true. xx


----------



## hopeful846543

Hi all

can I join you please? My DH has been diagnosed with azoospermia following 2 zero SA. We don't know the cause yet, he's had bloods done in august but we're waiting to see a urologist at the end of November so can't  get the results until then. He's also had a more detailed SA done but again have to wait for our appointment for the results. 

I'm really struggling tonight I know it doesn't seem that far away but I can't bear to wait that long when we've been waiting months already.  I can't stop crying and could really use some support. 

Sorry guys,  hope everyone else is ok x x


----------



## Millie-moo66

Hi all, I hope it's ok to join in.
My hubby and I have bee TTC for almost 2 years (for baby number 1) and have been undergoing various tests at the fertility clinic. Basically after LOaDS of tests it has been established that medically there is no reason (so far) for my not being able to conceive, hubby however had a sperm count and has half the amount he should have (however we have been informed by the specialist that this is enough to conceive - it only takes one right?!)
Anyway, I am regular as clockwork, I am now 12 days late and have NO signs of AF (I usually have really sore boobs) but having said that, I don't have any signs of a pregnancy either.
I'm currently on the list for a laparoscopy to check my tubes, and if they're all clear we will be going in for IVF.
I've spoken to my GP and he has advised that I could be late due to my husband and I being successful and getting pregnant ourselves and the hormone levels are just too low to detect, or I have randomly missed a period and it will be back within a few weeks. He's told me that I need to wait 14 days and test agin and if I still haven't had a period 4 weeks after this he will see me! It's going to be a loooong wait!
I've done 6 pregnancy tests (different brands) and all negative, I'm really trying hard to expect the witch to come and find me soon but I can't help but feel a little hopeful too!
Any advice would be gratefully received xx


----------



## EverythingatOnce

Hi all, just a quick one. We had blood taken yesterday for FSH, lh, amh, and genetic (checking for cystic fibrosis as my oh is azoospermia). The nhs clinic doctor we were referred to said it will take 2 to 3 months for the results. That seems like an awfully long time for test results??

Hopeful84 ours was complete zero count too. You're not alone ((hugs))


----------



## Dragonfly32

Hello All...How are you all getting on?

Hopeful846543, sorry to hear your results  We haven't been diagnosed fully but DH also has some sperm issues, first results were very low and bad quality, then second results was essentially 0 and we are now being referred to see the urologist. It is such a frustrating waiting game. Really makes me cross! Hope you are feeling better.  

Millie-moo66..how are you getting on? I hate late periods, I have never had them in my life before until a couple of months ago it was 7 days late (yes only 7 but it still felt like torture) I am pretty sure its just my minds way of having fun by screwing with me. 

I decided to wage war on the NHS today to get all my results, I think it seems to have worked, I have been given my blood test results, although was surprised to see there was no AMH result so looks like they didn't test for that, does anybody know about why they do/don't test for AMH? Looks like we will get the rest of our results soon, hoping that will be easier when we are looking at going privately (due to stupid NHS funding!) We have found out we are definitely moving house and moving across the country, I am rather hesitant to tell anyone at the hospital in case they pull the plug of our urologist referral as it is only a few weeks away now. 

On a different note...affordability of private IVF treatment, how do people afford cycles? I am wondering if there is something I don't know about financing it privately? It worries me that it isn't always a set fee, I am concerned that if we can put some money aside for it but then they find more things wrong and the bill escalates.

Hope everyone is getting on ok, and surviving the agony of the waiting xx


----------



## LittleStampede

Hi all,

Sounds like there's mixed progress from everyone. We're still waiting for our next appointment which is mid-end of Nov, seems like so far away. I've still not heard back on my blood tests despite chasing them - wondering if they actually ever tell you or not! I know my FSH level has to be below 8.9 to be eligible for NHS funding, so fingers crossed. DH now has to have male hormone blood tests as well - another hoop to jump through, they're never-ending! He had a complete show of emotion last night when we were watching a programme that there was a baby on, it was really horrible to see as normally he's so closed with his emotions 

Dragonfly - thats good you have your results now. I'd stay quiet about your move until at least after your next appointment. I've heard similar stories on other forums on here and depending on where you're moving to/from then sometimes they make you start everything all over again, which makes no sense whatsoever. Regarding IVF, I think re-mortgaging or a personal loan are most common if people don't have savings, although some clinics may offer payment plans but probably at a really high interest rate.

EverythingAtOnce - that does seem like a long time, maybe give them a call and ask?

MillieMoo - how are you getting on? Did AF show or have you done more pregnancy tests? I was just 4 days late last month and I was on constant alert when I went to the toilet, it did my head in!

MiracleBaby - I think egg sharing is a lovely idea, even more so given your circumstances. I'm sorry I can't advise on the dye test, but if you're anything like me then I don't care what they do to me as long as it's one step closer to me having a baby! 

x


----------



## kimmibobs

It's been very quiet on here lately, I assume everyone is playing the waiting game! We finally had our appointment for a referral, but were sent away without one as DH's BMI is above 30. I told him weeks ago he needed to get it down, but he hasn't really been trying. It's been tricky - I didn't want to nag him so left him to it. He now has until 12th November to show the GP that he's making an effort to reduce his weight, then he's happy to refer us. This time I am nagging! We had a lovely week's holiday which has certainly helped me relax, although I think it had the opposite effect on DH. He keeps himself busy to avoid overthinking things, and I think a week of peace and quiet gave him time to dwell on things. Still, at least physically it was a rest for him, if not mentally. We purposefully went to an adult only resort too so we wouldn't be confronted with kids everywhere - that really helped me take my mind off things!

Welcome Millie-Moo - how did you get on? Did AF arrive? 

Miracle Baby - I've done a very small amount of research on egg sharing and I'm told I can't donate my eggs because one of my parents is adopted, and so we don't have a full family history. I'd hoped it might be a way to help others in the same situation, I think it's a very generous thing to do. Have you had your other tests yet (ultrasound and dye)? If so, how have they gone?

Hopeful - welcome, and I hope you're feeling a bit brighter now. There are times through this journey when you just feel so helpless. I do find though that it's at that time it's when me and DH are closest. I tend to bottle things up for quite a while and then have an outburst - I feel a lot better afterwards. I hope you're doing ok. 

Dragonfly - have the rest of your results come through yet? We moved areas and had to wait another year to be referred - geography makes a big difference! We've agreed we're not moving again until we've got a baby! 

LittleStampede - any news on your FSH level test?

xx


----------



## LittleStampede

Hi Kimmibobs,

Just read your post and had to reply - my DH also got told to get his BMI down, although the limit for us in Cambridgeshire is 35, so it seems like even that is a postcode lottery! Tbh, hubby only has to lose 8lbs and he's got 2 months to do it it. He's not even that big, he just has really chunky bones (his wrists are huge!) so personally I'm not a fan of using BMI as an indicator but I guess that have to use something.

In reply to your question, no news on AMH levels yet, am guessing we just have to wait until our consultation at the end of Nov. Bricking it as if they're too low then it's out of my control, whereas hubby can actively do something about his weight. Arghhh!

Good luck to hubby!

xx


----------



## Dragonfly32

Hi Kimmibobs and all 

Did you speak to your consultant in the place you were living before about moving? I am trying to work out a game plan. . .  I am wondering whether to try and get her to write to the new area as she has said she will be referring us to IVF after urologist had dealt with dh. Any advice would be appreciated! The new area says you have to be TTC  for over 3 years but considering we have been told its not going to happen naturally for us I feel it would be creul for them to say come back later! 

We are nearly at our next appointment (Thursday) although we are quite sure that it's an introductory appointment, we're just hoping they don't sit there and tell us what is written in our notes and then say we will get booked in for another investigation,  wouldn't be best pleased, it would also be a massive waste of train fare to get into London!! Although I shouldn't make assumptions just yet! At the moment I really want to see a productive step forward. 

The BMI thing is annoying, I think they should probably tie it in with a body fat % test to have a better indication whether your weight needs altering or not. BMI can be really misleading. 

So we decided whilst waiting we wanted to try and help in some way,  so we're off to try acupuncture... has anyone got any other ways of passing the time between appointments?  

xx


----------



## kimmibobs

Hi Dragonfly, 

We didn't speak to the consultant directly, although I called up and spoke to the secretary who advised they couldn't refer between clinics. She advised us we'd need to start again with our new GP. Yes you'd think if you've had all the tests and they've identified a need for treatment (rather than being unexplained), you'd have more luck getting in. I'd highly recommend getting copies of all your test results ready for the new GP, and if possible get your consultant to write you a letter stating their diagnosis and treatment recommendation. It would be very cruel to make you wait, but our GP did say our area is woefully underfunded and so they jump on any reason to say no to someone. I'm not sure what happens at the first appointment, we're going to an open evening in a couple of weeks and hoping we'll learn lots more there. 

To be honest, even if they used body fat instead of BMI, I think DH would still need to lose a few lbs! He used to be a farmer so was very active, but now he works in an office and still eats like a farmer! 

Ha - passing the time between appointments! I've learned to knit, sew, been on holiday, arranged weekends with friends, taken on extra work... I try really hard to block it out between appointments, or I'd drive myself crazy. It's only really AF time when I find it really difficult - I tend to bunker down and keep myself to myself for a few days until I get out of the funk. 

xx


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## LittleStampede

Hi all,

Kimmibobs I agree with you - been trying to do anything to keep myself busy! Sewing, baking, cooking, painting, gardening etc! Otherwise I just think too much. Still got another 2weeks until hubby's next SA, then we should get another appt 2wks after that where we'll find out my AMH levels, his SA results and see whether his BMI has been reduced enough. Then they'll probably be another hoop to jump through with more tests before we get referred.

I've also just found out that a colleague at work (age 38, got pregnant within a wk of coming off the pill) has miscarried at between 10-12 weeks. I'm so upset for her but at the same time I'm angry with myself as I'm kinda pleased that that's one less pregnant person to be around. I feel ashamed to feel like this, it's horrible of me I know and I feel like an awful person for feeling like that 

x


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## Dragonfly32

Hi everyone,

Its been a long week for me!  I did my first baby visit. I was extremely anxious about the whole thing (espeacially as it was a very long drive to get there),  but when I got there it was surprisingly ok, our friends know about our problems, they tried to make the topics more neutral and no baby was thrusted into our arms.  We were very lucky on that front,  but my god did I feel horrible the next couple of days, everything hit me all over again,  seeing another couple starting their family is really heart breaking. 

After the bad start to the week I feel like progress is now being made,  we saw our urologist who has highlighted some more problems so we are going for further tests and a lot of tests are being repeated. Que the next 3 month wait... (the guy at the reception desk tried to convince me Feb was only 8 weeks away, as that's the time frame the dr requested) I stood up for myself explaining that the new year was 8 weeks away,  and he went on to explain how busy they are...

I also found out that if you move to a new nhs area you are not eligible for funding for the first year.  Good information to know for anyone considering moving.

I went to the fertility show yesterday and spoke to lots of different specialists and companies.  It is really nice to know you are definitely not alone,  and there are thousands of people going through the same emotions etc. What I did learn about that I wanted to share was this programme that you pay for 3 IVF treatments and if it isn't successful you get 70% of your money back.  It has only been running a matter of months in the uk but for 20 years in the US. For us we know IVF is our only option now and what the programme offers seems fantastic, it gives a bit of hope I feel.  More research definitely required but it seems a good plan.  

I think its great you guys doing your sewing, baking etc,  I need to find a form of distraction and a way to have fun again!  Might start brainstorming! 

Little stampede,  are you getting your AMH tested on the NHS? I think what feelings you're going through about your colleague is normal,  its such a horrible experience.  I nearly had a melt down in a busy shopping centre yesterday evening (after the fertility show) with all the push chairs, babies and pregnant women I couldn't cope, had to make a quick escape.  I never expect to see that many young kids and babies at that time in the evening. 

How is everyone else getting on? 

xx


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## LittleStampede

Hi all,

Millie-Moo - how are you getting on? Any luck with natural pregnancy? Or did AF arrive? Hope you're ok.

Dragonfly - well done for doing your first baby visit, at least you faced it and I'm sure the other couple appreciated it - sounds like they were very understanding. It must've been hard for them too. The waiting is frustrating - you get through one appointment then all it is is more waiting until the enxt one, more tests etc. It feels like it's never-ending. 

Yes all our tests are NHS - hubby has his second SA tomorrow, going to get him to try and book our follow up appointment when he's there so that we can get all the test results back - AMH, hubby's blood tests, my blood tests, hubby's BMI and SA.

xx


----------



## LittleStampede

Another quick update from me... hubby went for his second SA and the same day we already received the letter inviting us for our follow up appointment - am impressed! So we're going in on 12th Dec to get all test results and see if hubby has lost those few pounds he needed us to. Argghhhh I'm nervous!!


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## kimmibobs

Hi all,

We had an appointment on Thurs to see if Dh had lost enough weight to be referred - sadly still 8kg to go. He's done brilliant though and lost 5kgs in 4 weeks, so hopeful he should lose the rest by early Jan. It's going to make for a tough Christmas though! The good news is that we went to an open day at our local fertility centre, and it was BRILLIANT. We got so much information, and we got to chat to both a nurse and an embryologist. I feel very reassured about what will happen if/when we get to IVF stage, and would highly recommend it to anyone.

Hope you're all doing ok

Kim xx


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## Dragonfly32

Hi Guys,

LittleStampede, how have you managed this quick responses with the NHS?I am very impressed!!!

DH called up UCH the other day to find out when his scan was going to be (they said that we would have a letter posted but 2 and a half weeks on we have nothing yet). SO it turns out he isn't even on their system. Excellent .... URGH. So they have now sent off  a request to the department but we have not had anything through yet. I am really now just wanting to go privately and get this done, but I think there is no way of knowing how much it'll cost. It is so unbelievably tedious. From what I gather the scan wont necessarily lead to anything but just for them to check nothing else is going on other than what they found on the physical. 

Kim, 5kgs in 4 weeks for your dh is fantastic, I think the first bit of weight is the hardest then the rest hopefully will fall off quickly and you will get your referral. Good luck

xx


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## louise48910

Hi hope it's ok for me to join. I'm halfway through a 12 week wait for results of my partners bloods (chromosome testing). HOPEFUL, is this what you're waiting for too?

So cut a long story short: ttc 21 months, partner diagnosed with azoospermia (2 zero sperm semen analyses) but I'm fine. 

Really hating the waiting, I've read a lot about azoospermia and I understand that the results will indicate either an obstruction or a sperm production problem. Whilst I don't relish the thought of the stress around the cystic fibrosis gene, I'd much prefer the results show a blockage rather than non production. Although, I've seen women on here whose partners/husbands have non obstructive and have gone on to create babies! So who knows. This bloody waiting though, nearly halfway there. Our appointment is the day before Christmas Eve. Awful time. Hope everyone is doing ok x


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## emmapoppy

Hi everyone, 

I had my first appointment with a consultant today about my lack of ovulation, only to discover that she can't access any of my test results that were used as part of my referral because the hospital is in a different county and they use a different system! So she is doing them all again, which is very disheartening. I just can't believe that they can't access my results; the hospital is in another county but my doctors is less than 10 miles away! It's so frustrating! I was so excited to finally get the ball rolling and now I feel as though I'm almost starting again, having to wait even longer, day 2-6 blood test and swabs today, day 21 in a few weeks and I know that wont be right because of my irregular periods so that'll mean another one or two weeks of blood tests, and then another ultrasound. Feeling emotionally drained.


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## kimmibobs

Emmapoppy - could you not get a print out if the results and then send them to the doc? It would be so bureaucratic if they wouldn't accept them. They're your results and you have the right to both access them and share them with whoever you want.


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## Dragonfly32

Hi everyone,

Louise, we are waiting for the chromosome testing as well, although out fertility consultant already did the blood work with my DH they said it was 'essentially normal' which is a pretty loose answer in my opinion, I think the andrologist has decided to re do them as his results veer towards an abnormality although the count has never been 0 it is very close indeed and the physical showed a few issues. He is having an ultrasound in the next few weeks so I hope that sheds some light, although I am not sure what light it is going to shed! Waiting for the blood work to come back and the new SA. Intrigued to see if him eating vegetables, fish oils and wellman have made any difference! 

As for me I have managed to get the virology screening done with the GP and my LH and FSH redone (as they are nearly out of date for when we go privately). I am still waiting for the AMH to come back, but I am starting to think it hasn't been done. I had two tubes of blood taken and it was for day 4 FSH and LH, virology and AMH. The FSH and LH came back one day, then the virology a few days later but the AMH results has still not arrived. I am thinking surely they should have taken 3 bits of blood if it was 3 different tests? Day 21 progesterone needs to be done again as that will be out of date again. It really shows the length of the waiting time during the investigative process, that we are now having to start the tests again because they are going to be considered too old.

Hope everyone else is getting on well. xx


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## emmapoppy

Kimmibobs, thank you so much for your help. I've just phoned doctors and they are sending them as we speak.  Thank you, I don't know why I didn't think of that!


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## kimmibobs

Hooray!!! Let's hope that saves you some time - nothing worse than waiting in this game!


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## sbb23

Hi all, haven't been on here in a while- trying to avoid thinking about it.. Had my clinic appointment this week and surprisingly was told if my dye test comes back normal then we will be starting treatment late Feb..  Was shocked to hear this because so far had to wait for test results and repeat tests.. Feeling scared but excited hopeful but cautious... Sorry to hear some of you are still in the waiting...dragonfly it sounds ridiculous that you've waited so long that you're tests will be considered out of date.. Surely, they can't take that long.. Have you tried complaining about this? Emmapoppy, when we had our appointment the consultant couldn't find hubby's results either and I'm glad I'd taken a copy of all our results thanks to someone who suggested this on this site.. Xxx


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## Dragonfly32

Hi 

sbb23 so glad you are nearly there! February is not far away now   

Our latest news (it has been a busy week or so!) having gone to have my AMH tested, repeat of FSH/LH (as they are nearly a year old) and virology screening. Turns out they haven't tested the AMH or it has got lost in the post. ARGH!!! So now I have to wait until Tuesday apparently to call the surgery back and see what the Doctor says. 

We had a letter from the andrologist/urologist about the appointment we had in October, I am a bit concerned as he has mentioned surgery for grade 3 varicocele correction, which will probably be another few months wait for a surgery appointment after our clinic appointment (end of Jan) then from my research it says you have to wait for 4-12months for any improvement. They aren't going to seriously make us wait another year are they?! I mean, even if he gets fixed, (the surgery success seems controversial) we would probably still have to go through IVF because of my issues. I am getting so tired of all of this, so fed up! 

Moan over! Hope everyone is having a nice weekend.


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## sbb23

Thanks for the reply Dragonfly- its unbelievable that they lost your AMH test. I know exactly how you feel- my hubby's results were lost and he had to do the test again which added another 3 months to our wait... It has taken us 2 years to get to this stage as we had to start the process all over again in London cos we moved- so really were not expecting any good news from the app.. Why. Is you're hubby having surgery. I know exactly how you're feeling and you're definitely allowed to moan at the very least Hun!   I recently found out my sis is pregnant again and it was an accident! Love her to bits and happy for her but it just reminds you how different our journey is to others...stay strong xxxx


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## LittleStampede

Hi all,

I'm glad this group has picked up a bit, nice to hear some more stories and know that we're not alone. We've had our hospital appointment delayed until 17th December now (was originally on 4th which is the one day I can't do as I have a work conference that I can't miss, then we moved it to the 12th). I know it's only 5 more days but it just brings it even closer to Christmas. I think there's one more test we need before our referral, which is a shame as I wanted to be able to enjoy Christmas knowing that our referral was ok, we'd got NHS funding and we'd be able to start in the New Year. I know it's only a few weeks difference but it's another year in terms of 2014 to 2015...

SBB and Dragonfly, it seems like it's a common thing for tests to go missing - hospital lost DH's first SA. It's awful how you have to start again when you move area, makes no sense both for you in terms of time or for the NHS in terms of money having to repeat tests, it's ridiculous! Congrats to your sister SBB, at least you have a start date for your treatment so by the time your sister's baby is born you may well be pregnant with your own... Keep thinking positive thoughts 

Louise, fingers crossed for your appointment. Have they advised of next steps after this? I'm sure you have lots of questions to ask your consultant when you next see him/her.

x


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## louise48910

Argh, I've not been on here for a wee while just seen many replies after checking email. 

Emma - that is so frustrating about the test. I think common sense goes out of the window sometimes!   Glad you got them sorted

Dragonfly - hope your fella's second lot of results point you in the right direction treatment wise. See above re my thoughts on lost tests/common sense etc. grrr. I have read that the surgery is not alway very successful, although not sure where I read that (i've read so much). I'd have thought going straight to icsi/ivf,  would make more sense and cost wise (if I'm being pessimistic), surely the surgery would cost more? but obvs I'm no Doctor!

Little Stampede - thanks! Next steps I'm not too sure about. The Consultant mentioned one option being donor sperm. Definitely not considering this right now and although initially my partner did hint that he wouldn't mind this he's since said he'd probably rather have no children than conceive using donor. Not sure how I feel about it. The other option would be doing a test surgical sperm retrieval. I can't remember whether the Consultant said this would depend on the chromosome testing results. I'm really hoping that they give it a go. I guess if the Doc thinks it's a blockage/obstructive azoospermia then we'd be both tested for Cystic Fibrosis then go from there with a retrieval. I really thought last week was four weeks til Christmas, a week ahead of myself.   Isn't it a pain being so close to Christmas? What is your appointment for exactly?

Sbb23 - I've also taken my blood results to appointment, *just in case*. Congrats on getting this far, hope your dye test is good... though I'm not really sure what a dye test is.... ?


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## sbb23

Thanks little Stampede! I'm excited about being an aunty again and hopefully having some good news myself  But it's hard to be optimistic because you don't want to build yourself up for fall. I'm trying to be happy but not too happy so that I can deal with any set backs that may come my way and if they don't then I'll count my blessings  I know I kinda sound crazy but it's really difficult to know how to feel... Sorry about your wait Hun- this whole process is such a waiting game every day added is painful and I can totally see where you're coming from but fingers crossed you will be able to start in the new year!  
Louise 48910, defo good idea to take you're tests! Also the dye test is basically where they inject dye into your tubes to check if they clear and not blocked..apparently it's relatively painless  also, our consultant said we would be doing ICSI but because of the shock of something actually happening, which I was totally unprepared for due to our crappy doc who didn't tell us what the referral was about etc, I didn't ask why we are doing this instead of IVF. I will take a list of questions from a different forum on here for my next consultation.. Good luck to all xxx


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## Dragonfly32

My update..so 2 weeks later (argh!) they have said to me that the AMH test wasn't done because they can't do it on the NHS. So the GP requested it without checking...and it has taken 2 weeks of chasing up and worrying to get the answer, and now no result. So frustrating! So now need to go and find a way to get it done privately I think. 

sbb23, good luck with the dye test, I would strongly advise taking ibuprofen and paracetamol before, I think pain wise can differ per person, it took the person I went to 20 minutes to get the tube through my cervix, she told me that there was just is no text book way on how to get through cervix's as they are all so different!haha!! When they have got the tube through it is all rather quick and then afterwards it is fine. I got them to show me the pictures as well, it is pretty cool! It must be really hard to hear about your sister, there is no getting away from it is there? I am lucky that most of my close girl friends are all career girls, and my brother has a child but won't be having another any time soon, it is just my husbands friends that seem to be procreating at a fast rate. I think when you hear of the pregnancies with people very close to you it is so hard to know how to deal with it. 

Louise, I have also heard the surgery can be pretty unsuccessful but I feel bad that he obviously has a few physiological issues that we were unaware of like the varicocele and blocked tubes, and I feel it might be unfair not to try and fix that, but at the same time I can't deal with waiting all that time! I wonder if they suggest surgery we might be able to continue that on the NHS and then just go and do the IVF privately. Time feels so precious, I feel my life is completely on hold. We move house next week and I will need to look for a new job, and I am rather concerned if we get to start our treatment getting time off etc in a new job. 

littlestampede...I hope the 17th gets you one step further, I get so frustrated with all these appointments, each time you think you are going to get refered there is another test they would like you to do or refer you to another specialist. Our consultant foolishly said she would refer us for IVF after our repeat initial tests and my dye test/ultrasound (back in April) but then decided she would like to refer us elsewhere to get my husband looked into further. I don't think they understand what they put us through!?!

Is it nearly friday yet?!?!


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## LittleStampede

Hi all, happy Thursday - nearly the weekend again!

Louise - I don't think you should worry yourself with the donor sperm issue until they've sorted all your tests out - no point worrying about something that you may not even need (although that's just my opinion). If it comes to it, then that's when you need to have that chat with hubby and make sure you're both happy. Our next appointment is to get the results of my CD2 blood test, hubby's blood test (not sure what that was testing for), hubby's 2nd SA, and to see whether he's lost enough weight. Everything needs to be at certain levels in order to get NHS funding. Then after that, I think there's one more test that needs doing before we get our referral. Definitely going to ask for a print out of all our results so far so I can have a copy for my file.

Dragonfly - completely know what you mean about your life being on hold. I just feel that there's only one thing that's missing from our life and that's a little mini-me. I just think that we've bought the house, got married and it's the next step to make our lives complete... The NHS have (I hope) done their best but the waiting is awful. Wouldn't it be nice to just have loads of money and self refer for private treatment... I wish!!

xx


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## louise48910

Dragonfly, yes it is nearly Friday! Black Friday! Many bargains to be had ha! I guess if the Consultant is wanting to do it then fair enough NICE guidance does not recommend it as it according to them it doesn't improve pregnancy rates, saying that though I think some treatments are offered that NICE doesn't recommend!!! Know what you mean about waiting, wish I could fast forward sometimes. I know how you feel about live being on hold. I've got a new job so on that front it's kind of worked out well (in a strange way) that I didn't get pregnant naturally soon after TTC as I wouldn't have gone for it if I was pregnant. I'm feeling quite stuck in that we can't sell our house and desperately want to move. It's a tiny place in the wrong location. On the bright side, I have a good job and roof over my head. Time off for treatment etc is a tricky one. I don't want anyone knowing and hope to take leave, although if treatment is short notice that might be really hard. No idea what line of work you're in but some places do give time off for IVF.


LittleStampede - not really thinking about donor at this point, but every so often when I get my negative head on it crosses my mind. Hope your husband's managing with the weight loss and your bloods come back fine x


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## Dragonfly32

Did everyone have a nice weekend?
We are meant to be moving house very soon (it was meant to be Friday but the solicitors are pretending they didn't know we were meant to exchange last week so haven't passed the message down the chain!!!) When we do move it'll be to a new area so I do need to find a new job, at the moment I am working in a school, but it is difficult to take time off unless you are able to plan things in the school holidays which just isn't practical. So I am starting to think should I look at temping initially or find a job I can take time off from, this whole process takes over your life!!!!
We are extremely lucky to be able to have sold our house and make some money to afford an initial bit of IVF, but we are in an area that isn't funded by the NHS, so I hate to think what would have happened if we didn't make any money on the house. Its scary to think the amount of money it costs and the huge gamble you have to take. At least we have managed to save a bit of money by getting the blood tests, ultrasound, hsg and semen analysis done for free. We emailed a private clinic this morning to see if we can see them alongside my DH seeing the andrologist in London (once the house is sold anyway!). Fingers crossed. I am so done with waiting!!!


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## emmapoppy

Dragonfly- moving to a new area sounds very stressful indeed, especially with having to look for a new job! I also work in a school, it would be so easy if the appointments were every 6-8 weeks wouldn't it?! I do feel awful taking time off during school time (as well as having all the inevitable questions/murmurs...) My contract ends in August 2015 and I'm so full of 'what if' questions that I really don't know what I'll do, very tricky. Hope your house move is coming along nicely now x


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## Dragonfly32

emmapoppy, it is so hard working in a school isn't it! I initially found it heartbreaking when we found out we both had fertility problems, going into school and doing gate duty with all the pregnant mums and the mums walking around with their new borns, I used to have tears in my eyes. I am lucky in a way that I mainly work with the 10-11 year olds so it is a bit more disconnected. I don't know what your school is like but ours is quite small and nearly all the staff are women and have kids or are pregnant, so you can imagine the regular discussion in the staff room!! AH!! How long have you been in a school for? I am also really torn with what to do when we move areas, I am not sure I could cope with a desk job now though. 

We were meant to be moving Friday, the contracts haven't been exchanged yet and the people above us in the chain are going off on holiday for 2 weeks next week which puts a big hold on it all. So it looks like now we will be stuck here another 2-3 weeks or possibly more with Christmas coming up, and I now don't have a job as we thought we would definitely be moving my resignation was handed in and they have a replacement, just what you need before Christmas/moving house/fertility treatment - losing a months salary!  I hate solicitors right now!!!!


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## emmapoppy

It really is, I teach early years so pregnant mums are everywhere! Mine is also a very small school one teacher is returning from maternity leave so I'm anticipating lots more baby talk than before. I've only just finished my nqt year so not long been teaching. I am looking for jobs but I am in two minds because I wouldn't want to start a job if I knew I was pregnant or likely to be soon (all wishful thinking of course).

Oh my goodness you really do have a lot going on don't you. Sending lots of


----------



## Dragonfly32

Hi everyone, how are you all getting on?

We decided to book an appointment with a private clinic a couple of weeks ago as our house sale will HOPEFULLY go through shortly and we can pay for a cycle (we are going to have to go private due to NHS funding in our area). Having had investigations for a year now we were both so hopeful that they would say, yes lets just get on with it, oh how wrong we were!!! It appears they believe that varicocele correction is now the way forward, and can help with sperm fragmentation. We have to wait for our follow up with the nhs andrologist which is in a month and half and then the waiting list for surgery and then recovery and sperm regeneration. I feel bad for feeling so gutted by it all as I think DH is feeling pretty dreadful, but I thought our waiting game was nearly over. I really thought that there wouldn't be any more waiting, but I know that best case scenario it will be another 6 months at best. Unfortunately we don't think we'll be able to afford the IVF privately and the surgery. 

Hope everyone is getting some progress before xmas. xx


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## LittleStampede

Dragonfly I'm so sorry to read that your wait is being extended - it seems there's no clear timeline with regards to tests etc, they just keep testing and testing and there seems to be no end, especially if it all feels pointless! I hope this next operation will actually be worthwhile for you both.

We (finally!) are getting our test results for various things tomorrow. It seems like it's taken forever to come round. In my head, we've had all the necessary tests and it'll be a straight referral to the IVF clinic, but that's probably a very ambitious thought and no doubt I will be disappointed!


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## Dragonfly32

Good luck for tomorrow! I remember the words of our consultant who said in April our next step was ivf referral, oh how wrong she was, it annoys me so much! I hope in the future she choses her words more carefully!! Hope tomorrow goes well for you and you are given the referral  xx


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## LittleStampede

Thank you - going to write a  list of questions for tomorrow now!!


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## emmapoppy

I had a similar feeling last week, I thought I was on track for Clomid only to be told that I need to have a dye test first and the waiting list is, (as the receptionist put it) quite lengthy. My consultant even gave me an information sheet on Clomid and was hoping I could have the test before my next cycle begins- wishful thinking I reckon! It's like they have no concept of how those extra tests turn into extra months and extra worry. 

A list of questions is a good idea, I nearly always take one (I'm sure that pleases my consultant  )


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## LittleStampede

Hi all,

So the next round of results are back, my FSH is 6 which is ok apparently, although this will be need to be done again as it will be too out of date soon (crazy!)

DH's second sperm test came back same as the first; occasional motile sperm seen. He had an external physical examination and then a blood test which they're going to do chromosome testing with, so another 4-5wk wait! Was never going to be a straight road! However, then he said that as long as we meet the criteria then he will refer us.

A lot of people on here seem to have had lap & dye tests but I've not had any of them, is that only if they know there's female problems?

X


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## louise48910

Yippee! Moving on, moving on. Good waiting time aswell for chromosome. My progesterone, lh and fsh are good, also transvaginal ultrasound is very good follicle wise. I've not been told I need anything else, hoping that's it but will definitely ask next week.


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## Dragonfly32

They have ABSOLUTE no concept on the few months every time the word 'test' comes up or follow up, and when I have the clear look of disappointment on my face they come up with the, oh but you're so young. That makes me so angry!! The endless months wait don't go more quickly when you're younger, and I am pretty sure you get to a turning point and the dr's start saying, ohhh well time is running out. You can never win!

LittleStampede...I have had the dye test and ultrasound, I thought it was just to ensure that there weren't any other issues, however my hormone tests did come back abnormal, so they might have done those tests to see if anything was going on. Interestingly, when we went to see the private clinic they said they would want to re do an ultrasound and put a camera up and do extra checks, I have finally found a medical professional that agrees with me that my 10-12 day periods every month are not normal!!!!

It sounds like none of us have had a decent answer before Christmas  . 

I am sitting here surrounded by packed boxes ready for our move on friday, got a call this avo, the solicitor at the bottom of the chain is an absolute idiot, didn't request funds for his client, and now we can't move friday!!Not quite sure when we will be able to move now with Christmas around the corner! What is wrong with the world?


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## DollyBlueBags

Hi ladies 

Its been a while since I've posted on here, we very sadly lost my Grandad in August so came off here for a bit. 

We had our first appointment with the fertility consultant on Monday and next for us is the lap and dye test. I'm having my gallbladder removed on January 15th due to gallstones so fertility Dr said as I'll be under general anaesthetic I may as well have my tubes checked at the same time to save me having another operation. 

If my tubes are fine then it's onto clomid if they are blocked then Ivf. 

X x


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## LittleStampede

Hi all,

Mrs Peach I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandad. Good luck with the operation, and tube investigations, at least you can relax over Christmas and New Year. It's also good that they have given you clear next steps depending on the outcome - do you know how long you'll have to wait after your op? Keep us all updated.

Dragonfly how awful about the solicitors and house move, especially at this time of year! Have they given you a revised date? Guess you'll have to unpack a load of stuff if it's not going to be until after Christmas now? Agree with you about no concept of moths of waiting - every test we have puts another 2 months hold on everything. I get that they need to explore all options and get it right, but why can't they do it all at the same time? And why make us effectively put our lives on hold even more than they already are?! 

When I think about it, we've been having tests for exactly a year, but so far have only had: 2 sperm analysis and one hormone blood test (husband), and blood tests (me). Which isn't a lot really! Hoping there's no more... I always ask at our fertility specialist appts at the hospital what the next steps are, and referral is always the next step... it just seems like a long way away! Even then, we never know which tests the IVF clinic will want to do or how soon treatment will actually start.

Anyway, baby dust to all!


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## emmapoppy

Hi all, hope everyone is doing ok and getting ready for Christmas?! 

I am still waiting to hear about my tube dye test I can only assume that it is a long waiting list but seeing as you have to book it for after AF then surely it's different if you get what I mean? I have however received the copy of the write up from my appointment which has lots of long words which I definitely haven't been doing research on...... 

Little stampede- I also feel as though we haven't had many tests done, my GP hadn't linked me and my dh together so our results weren't matched up, I had to give her a gentle nudge/pester! 

I got a bfn today although I pretty much knew I probably didn't ovulate but I was ever hopeful. Fingers crossed for everyone for 2015   xxx


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## DollyBlueBags

Hi emmapoppy,

It doesn't matter if you are on your period when you have the lap and dye, it can be done at any time in your cycle. Your just not allowed to have unprotected sex at all during the month you have the lap. 

Little stampede,

We are private patients so no waiting times for us for anything which is one upside to paying for it. As soon as I come round from the operation I've told them I want to know the results of the lap (couldn't care less about my gallbladder lol). With nhs patients they have to be a bmi of 35 or less for treatment, because I'm private there's no rules for me but I am overweight and I've told the professor I'll loose weight first before ivf if we need it to boost my chances.

If my tubes are ok then we can start Clomid straight away 

X


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## emmapoppy

Thank you Mrs peach  sounds like we are on a similar path, if my tubes are clear then I'm having clomid too. Excited! x


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## DollyBlueBags

Aww it's nice to share things with others going through the same things. The matron in charge of A&E where I work got pregnant on her first month of Clomid so it defo can happen


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## louise48910

Thought id update: had results of partners genetics testing today. No XXY, no cystic fibrosis carrier, normal testosterone but high (not sure how high) fsh. I think high fsh means his body is working super hard to get sperm production/levels going. They're going to refer him to a different hospital as better technique/outcome, for a test sperm retrieval so fingers crossed he's got some!!!!!


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## emmapoppy

Hi everyone hope you all had a lovely Christmas  

I got a letter about HSG test on Christmas eve and it said I needed antibiotics. My gynecologist never even mentioned antibiotics during my appointment. Of course AF has arrived and because of the holidays I can't get through to anyone about getting antibiotics, so frustrated. The hospital won't even give me an appointment without antibiotics and said my go can't do it. I assume I will now have to wait until next cycle which for me could be anywhere  between 30 and 65 days. More waiting, more time wasted......


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## Dragonfly32

Oh how frustrating for you. I had to take antibiotics for the HSG, due to risk of infection, our consultant gave us the prescription when we refered for the tests. Have you got any contact details of a fertility nurse that works along side your consultant? We found googling our consultant we got details of their secretary who can get access to them, that might help you,  as they will just need to write a prescription for you. Must be extremely frustrating, you just cant rely on anyone can you!
I'm guessing you haven't been able to call up for an appointment yet? They say they will do it within 3 of your cycles, I was heartbroken when my first period arrived and they joked on the phone that they were too busy and how many peoples cycled must be in sync. It's a  horrible waiting game,  I had my letter for HSG in April, and I don't feel that much further forward! 
Good luck xx


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## emmapoppy

Dragonfly, I know exactly how you feel, not sure I'd describe my progress as speedy either. I spent all day phoning what seemed like the entire staff list of two hospitals and then rang my gp who has sorted me some antibiotics. Phoned the appointment department told them of my (well earned) acquisition of antibiotics only to be told`we will phone you back if we can give you an appointment' I dared to ask about timescale to which she replied, I'm not sure. I think I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 

Anyway.... how's everybody else getting along?


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## Dragonfly32

Emmapoppy I really feel for you it is so frustrating.  We are finally moving house next week,  wahoo, no more living out of boxes.  Update on our fertility journey however... got a letter through from the private clinic as a follow up from our apointment 2 weeks ago. There were 3 mistakes in the letter about our situation.  I am furious! Can we not rely on anyone to be competent?  I am going to email them tomorrow explaining the errors,  but guess I'm going to have to tread very carefully if we want treatment with them.  Now feeling like I don't want to spend all our savings from our house sale on that clinic (thinking I'm rather sensitive at the moment!) Xx


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## emmapoppy

Yay for your long awaited house move! I bet your so relieved! We moved just before Christmas a couple of years ago, very stressful time to move. As for your new clinic that is pretty bad on their part but I guess you did a lot of research to make sure it was the right place for you both. Although in my mind it would depend on what the mistakes were, but yes it is a very stressful/emotional time for you so I totally understand your reservations. (Email is a most excellent way to not lose your temper, I tend to find I lose mine whilst on the phone to receptionists whom have no idea about anything!) I really don't understand how highly qualified, skilled, paid people can make so many fundamental errors with little regard to how it could affect others. Xx


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## Em-bob

Hi all,

Please could I join your chat? 
My husband and I have been TTC for 2 years, we first approached our GP in April 2014 after 15 months of trying - DH was sent for a SA where we were told that he has low count and mobility and that it would be near impossible to conceive naturally and would need to be referred to the fertility specialist. We were then told though, that we had to have been trying for 2 years before we would be referred as they would just throw the referral out until this time. We were told to go back in Nov for further testing to be completed as these had to be done within 3 months of referral, but in the meantime, he should start taking vitamins & fish oil.
So, in Nov my tests were carried out - vaginal swabs to check for clamidya (sorry if thats spelt wrong!) etc, bloods to check rubella, thyroid, 21 day hormone levels. DH did another SA. We were then told that all my results were normal (other than the swab showing thrush which I was given a prescription for) but DH's count and motility were worse than before. We were told that due to this and there being a obvious problem, the referral docs were sent to the hospital that night (beginning Dec). 
About 2 weeks later, I received an appointment to attend the Reproductive Medicine Clinic at the Rosie in Cambridge on 17th February. My husband isn't mentioned but I assume that this will address us both? Surely we shouldn't need to be referred individually? 

Anyhow, this is where we are with the process. Is it normal process for me to have further tests done even though my results were normal, or would they just look into DH's issue? We are hoping there isn't too much messing around - we are in Cambridgeshire if it makes any difference. 

Thanks everyone, and I have enjoyed reading back through all your posts - I hope you are all doing ok xx


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## Dragonfly32

Hi there and welcome, good luck with your appointment

The waiting is crazy, it baffles me that they can see a low SA (or in fact any suspiciois results) but don't act on it. Like you, we were referred in my name not my husbands, initially we were referred as both primary factors but I believe they usually use the women's name anyway.

When we were referred to the consultant (a year ago now) I had the HSG to check tubes and an internal ultrasound to check ovaries and uterus (hormone leveks were done by gp). Husband then had a repeat SA, blood tests (y deletion, hormones and cystic fibrosis carrier tests). His SA results were very low (few sperm seen) so we were referred to a specialist (urologist/andrologist) in London as it seemed our fertility consultant couldn't deal with it. He then had another SA, a repeat blood screening, a physical and an ultrasound. I don't know if its like this everytime with male factor, they seem to have left me alone since June after the hsg&ultrasound. We have our follow up for the appointment with andrologist in a couple of weeks. They think surgery/embolisation for a varicocele they found might be the option. My husband was told to take wellman, but more recently we've been recommended proxceed (bloody expensive) but we're not shedding out for that until we know what the deal with the surgery is. Need to do more research on it as well. 

We have finally moved house now and I am now on the road to get referred by a new GP to a consultant in the area, I am convinced they're going to find it too complicated, our new area says you have to have been TTC for 3 years before referral, so I am hoping with the fact we have been seen by two consultants they will let the 3 year thing slide. Who knows,  the whole process is so tedious and exhausting!

How is everyone getting on?


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## Dragonfly32

....Forgot to update on the private clinic issue. I got a very nice letter from the clinic apologising for the mistakes etc so I'm pleased about that. Frustratingly, we were hoping to go privately once we moved house, however new house now has an at risk boiler and has a lot of work to be done, so looks like we might have to try and appeal against any barriers for the one cycle offered here on the nhs as our bank balance may not be so healthy ate the house improvements!  (apparently you have to wait a year before receiving ivf in a new area, so I am preparing myself for battle)


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## emmapoppy

In our case it's me that has issues so I'm sorry I can't be much help there. Although my gp didn't seem to talk to her colleagues because she had no idea that dh had sa done at all! If you can then both of you should go to the appointment I went alone and was overwhelmed with everything (crying mess!). 

I think battling is the way to go. That's good news about the clinic but not about the house   I am out of a job in August and unsure about applying for a new one just in case we are lucky soon, tricky because it turns out you need money to live...

Anyway, I'm patiently waiting for my letter saying I can have clomid. I assume it'll just be a prescription because my consultant said she doesn't need to see me.


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## LittleStampede

Hi Universa, welcome! It sounds like we're in a similar position to you: male factor due to very very low sperm count. We're in Cambridgeshire as well and have had two specialist appointments with Dr R at Peterborough City Hospital. However, I've not had hsg or ultrasound, have only had a swab for STD's, and CD2 and CD21 bloods. So from my experience, because they know it's male factor, they're not testing me further. The dr also said next appt would be going through the checklist to get us referred to the IVF clinic, so doesn't seem like they're going to test me.

The waiting is the worst bit, everything seems to take so long 

Dragonfly just keep fighting and chasing, crazy postcode lottery and different CCGs, it's crazy and ultimately must end up costing the NHS more money.

X


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## kimmibobs

Ladies I am livid! I can't get through to DH on the phone and just have to vent somewhere...

As some of you might know, we've ticked every box to get referred except for DHs BMI, which is now 32. According to our GP it has to be under 30, even if his SA is clear (which it is), so he's been on a huge diet with lots of emotional pressure attached for a few months. We go back to the GP each month to see how he's doing and every time we're told "once you get to 30 or less I'll refer you". Getting a little impatient I called the fertility clinic today to ask how much it would be to have an HSG done privately, as that's the next step of the process. The lovely lady I spoke to asked why I needed it privately, and I explained. She told me the GP is wrong, and DH just needs to be referred for weight management - he doesn't actually need to have his BMI under 30, he just has to be working towards it. So we could have been referred months ago, but our stupid GP is stupid! The lovely lady at the clinic gave me her name and number and asked me to get my GP to phone her so she can confirm with him directly. She was so helpful - I felt like hugging her and crying all at once. Now I have an appointment to see the GP on Tuesday (earliest they could do) and finally I think we might get referred. 

The message of the story is "never trust what you're told and do your own research"!!!!!! I'm pleased of course, but so cross it's been such a mess! I am buying hubby a big cake on the way home. Will keep you all posted - hope your journey's are going well and remain as stress-free as possible.

xx


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## hopeful846543

Totally agree kimmibobs, gp referred us however hospital consultant told us my DH bmi was too high but he appealed for us for nhs funding for us and we won as they said if my DH bmi was 30 or below it wouldn't change our diagnosis.  So this would be the same for you!

It's so hard this journey especially when the professionals lead you astray!


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## LittleStampede

Hi Kimmibobs,

How annoying! Where in the country are you? As that is the one thing holding back our referral - his BMI. He's been doing loads of exercise but as he's 49 it's harder for him to shift the weight, plus he's got fairly big bone structure (his wrists are huge). If (when we finally get our next appointment through) then he's not lost enough then I think we'll just appeal, as losing a few pounds isn't going to affect his lack of sperm!

At least you can think positive now and move forwards at last xx


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## kimmibobs

Hi LittleStampede, 

Isn't it so frustrating?! We're in North Somerset, seems the CCG has some quite misleading guidance for practitioners. I'd certainly recommend calling the clinic just to check your GP is correct. The lady I spoke to was quite clear, as long as he's been referred for weight management you should still get referred to the infertility clinic. I wish I could see that written down somewhere so I could send it on to you! Although if it's the sperm count that's the problem they may argue that the weight is causing the issue? Either way it's worth a shot. I don't understand why they wouldn't do HSG for you still - even if it's just to rule out any other issues.

Good luck and keep us posted! I can't wait to get started.

Kim xx


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## Millie-moo66

Hi little stampede (and everyone else!) im so sorry I haven't replied, AF did finally arrive, to be honest I've been struggling a bit emotionally. What with there being 4 pregnancies in my office, my sister giving birth in December and my best friend due in March! (Needless to say I'm over the moon for each and every one of them, but very hard all the sawm, I'm sure you all understand x)
I've started acupuncture and been seeing a fertility specialist who has confirmed that I'm ovulating too early (around day 6/7) which means my eggs aren't mature enough to be fertilised, so I'm using the acupuncture to hopefully slow it all down!
I don't know if any of you have much experience if the clear blue advanced monitors? But I've been using mine for some time now and I always get a few "highs" and then 2-3 "peaks" (usually starting on day 4-5 of my cycle) but this month I started gettin "highs" on day 8 and it's now day 16 and I am STILL getting a "high" result but no sign of the "peak"
I hope you lovely ladies are all holding up and I'm sending you all plenty of good luck xx


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## LittleStampede

Hi Kimmibobs,

I think we may be at different stages then - we've already been referred to the fertility specialist at the hospital, and it was them that said his BMI needs to go down before we can get referred to the IVF clinic. The GP didn't even do any BMI calculations on either of us.

We're currently still awaiting chromosome test results - they said 4-5 weeks but it's been 6 now. I've called the clinic twice but they don't have any news. Just wish they'd given us a longer timescale to start with!

Welcome back Millie-Moo! I think we all have the same feelings regarding other people's pregnancies and babies - just sounds like you have it all at once  Slightly off topics but I was holding a 5wk old baby the other day (my husband's cousins) and another distant relative wanted a cuddle. The baby was asleep on my chest, but she just took her from me and told me to get my own baby! So insensitive, it just stung both me and the people around me (was a big family gathering) Got two texts from two of husband's cousins later on who apologised for her behaviour (she's not a liked person!) I was just so shocked, just wanted to cry / slap her / run away / give some kind of witty comment that I couldn't think of in time.

How are you finding the acupuncture? Hopefully it'll slow your eggs down! I use the clearblue monitors too but haven't had the same at you're getting, sorry.

Fingers crossed we all get good news soon

xx


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## Millie-moo66

Little stampede, reading what that woman said to you has actually brought a lump to my throat! What an evil thing to say, it sounds like the people who were around to hear what she said were very much in support of you (rightly so to!) 

The acupuncture is really good actually (I was very sceptical), I've woken up to ANOTHER high result today, making it 8 days?! But no mucus (that was around day 7/9) but it would still seem my impatient eggs have slowed down even just a little bit. So it must be doing something. She also does reiki (again i was sceptical) but I. Do find it very calming which is good (because the reason I am ovulating too early is because of stress, so I need to calm down a bit!) 

I'm not sure I you've seen or heard much about the duo fertility, but i think we will give that a go if my tubes are all ok, although it's extremely expensive!

Ive had exactly the same issue with my BMI, the consultant looked me up and down and said "you'll need to lose a bit of weight before we go through the IVF" but as with you and your husband, she didn't even do any calculations! obviously o was mortified, so joined a gym and started dieting! But trainer at the gym looked at my BMI and confirmed its 30.6 (so it's .6 over the limit) 

I hope you get some news REALLY soon xx


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## Thyme

Hey all really glad to find this thread and know it's just not me getting frustrated by the waiting in the system and lack of compassion. It's driving me to despair, went to docs June 14 as TTC for 18 months, my initial tests fine, his count so non existent it was classed as 'inconclusive' referred to gyne at hospital in sept 14 told we would have to be referred for IVF but had to do tests first, more bloods, more scans for both, HSG done, go back in Nov for IVF referral no luck had to do more bloods, back in Jan 15 for referral - CCG has changed its criteria and DH needs chiamydia test before they can refer and we're told we'd have to have a donor. Waiting for result of that test but it will be clear as I am clear and we'd need donor anyway. So so so frustrated that someone who has no idea of the reality of our situation or male infertility is delaying the referral - all I want is to get to IVF clinic and actually speak to someone who has some expertise in the situation and can properly advise us, yet silly paperwork keeps delaying us


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## kimmibobs

Grr, our GP is still refusing to refer us - and "hasn't had time" to call the clinic yet to verify the criteria. I've contacted the CCG myself now and asked them to confirm, as there seem to be two versions of the referral criteria floating around. The most recent one is November 2013 and suggests male BMI is not a condition of referral, whereas the previous version (August 2013) still has "male BMI must be under 29.9" in there. Desperately waiting for them to confirm - then I will forward to my GP and stand outside his office until he refers us! Every day this drags on I get more and more frustrated - I JUST WANT TO GET ON WITH IT!

I'm also starting to wonder what will happen when we do get referred. If we're unexplained, which we seem to be, do they go straight to IVF, or will they give me Clomid for a few months first? I seem to have no problem with ovulation so not sure what that would achieve. So many questions, and no-one seems willing or able to answer them!


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## LittleStampede

Hi Kimmibobs,

I understand your frustration! Surely the latest version of the guidelines are the correct ones? Confusing! I share your thoughts about what happens when we get referred, which I'm determined WILL be soon!! Although we're male factor, I've not had any scans / tests other than blood and hormone tests. I just want to get on with IVF!

Its now been 7 weeks since chromosome tests and we were told we'd have the results in 4-5 weeks. This time two months ago I really thought we'd be a lot further ahead than we are currently! At least this is a good place to rant!!

x


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## kimmibobs

You'd think - the GP won't have it though!!!! The version he has is the old one and he won't take my word for the fact that there's a new one! Got to get the right hand to talk to the left hand...

Should it be this hard?


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## LittleStampede

No it definitely shouldn't! Surely you got the guidelines from an official CCG website so the Doctor could just do the same?!


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## kimmibobs

The old one is on the CCG website, the newer one is on the NHS site. Both legitimate sources I'd think...


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## LittleStampede

I'd second that! Good luck!


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## LittleStampede

Hello, me again!

So we got chromosome tests back yesterday and all normal 46XY. Think that means that DH's very very low sperm count is unexplained. The letter we got said that we'd receive another letter shortly for another appointment at the hospital, where they'd take us through the criteria for NHS funding. So, more waiting now - surprise surprise!!

Any more test results from anyone else? 

x


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## kimmibobs

Weeeeeeeeeeee, just had a phone call from the GP saying he's happy to sign off on our referral. Hurrah! Now just got to wait for a letter from the clinic for our first appointment. Hoping this doesn't take weeks too!

Little Stampede, glad to hear your chromosome tests are all ok. Fingers crossed you get your appointment letter soon! 

xx


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## Dragonfly32

hi everyone

kimmibobs - congrats on referral and little stampede good news re genetic tests.

I have had a rather frustrating few weeks and have been rather fed up with it all! So many unanswered questions. We saw the urologist the other week who said that my husband could go for varicocele surgery which may improve sperm quality but probably not quantity. However, recovery period for the surgery is quite awhile and this isn't feesable with his job. We are trying to fight the nhs for the embolization instead (a much preferable 72 hour recovery period) of the surgery but so far no luck. Found out the private cost for embolization so far quote of between £5000 - £8000 for a one day thing!! Unbelievable - I thought IVF was expensive, at least I understand why IVF is expensive with the breakdown, a varicocele embolization...no idea!!! 

We have now moved house and however much I love my new house, all the money we were hoping to put aside from our old house sale for ivf down here (due to bad nhs funding) has nearly been wiped out due to replacing the boiler, damp in the house, carpets needing replacing etc etc. Now thinking we might need to pay for the embolization somehow I am a bit concerned that we wont ever be able to afford a private cycle. The area I am in with the nhs seem to be very firm on their 3 year TTC time, however I think we have managed to get a referral to a consultant at a hospital from the GP which is at least something, but it was left with the GP having to write a letter about us (after our interview/Spanish inquisition!!!) and then a, 'they'll contact you'. So feel like I am in complete limbo and not quite sure what to do. 

How will we ever get through all this waiting? I feel like I am constantly either holding my breath waiting for something, getting anxious about an upcoming appointment or dealing with the post-appointment disappointment. Starting to think getting my dog was the best thing I ever did when all this started!!!

xx


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## LittleStampede

Kimmibobs that's great news!! Well done! It's strange to think that you've been through so much already but that actually your journey is only just beginning. Also, if it works first time then in a few months you'll be pregnant! Exciting times, please keep us all updated 

Dragonfly what a horrible situation - I know it feels like the waiting goes on forever  I've semi-managed to cope by being busy - decorating, shopping (bad habit!), crafts, dancing, helping friends, basically anything I can think of that isn't to do with IVF! Having a dog helps, we have two Lhasa apsos who I love so much. Nearly lost one the other day when she chased a swan 35m out onto an icy lake, then fell in and was stuck. Hero husband had to swim in, breaking the ice as he went, and save her. Thank goodness all ok but made me value husband and dogs even more 

xx


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## Dragonfly32

Oh my gosh, what a scary thing to happen, what a brave husband you have! I know they always say never follow your dog's in but I know I always would. I cant quite get over your Lhasa apso chased a swan, gutsy dog, I have never met a Lhasa apso with that much get up and go 

Well...in other news we had an email from the urologist who said 'can we do this' forwarded to another colleague (in response to us begging for embolisation due to husbands job). Fingers firmly crossed right now....still amazed the consultant replied to our email!


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## sbb23

Hi all, hope you are all well.. Sorry to hear littlestampede and dragonfly are having such a hard time with the nhs, it's soooo frustrating when you've already been waiting so long and they still don't seem to have a clear route or answer. 

Dragonfly sorry to hear about your hubby's surgery and issues. As for the waiting time before treatment, it sounds ridiculous at 3 year! Could you possibly just tell a white lie and sat that you have been trying for 3 years? 1 year or 2 years should not make a difference, you are ready when you feel ready-such insensitive rules.

Littlestampede if your hubby has low sperm count and you've had all your tests, hopefully you should be nearer to starting your treatment because they have a clear cause..my hubby had low sperm too and once I'd had my tests they refered us for funding. 

Congrats to Kimmibob, fab news Hun! I've also had an appointment today to confirm my results and was told to ring the clinic and the treatment process should start in March!!! I couldn't believe it and I'm still in shock and I know I should be grateful, which I really am but I can't help but panic about the next hurdles and ifs and buts to come.. My husband thinks I should not think about what could go wrong and just take this as a blessing but I can't help it- I won't allow myself to be happy or content so that I can cope if things go wrong... Even though I'm over the moon that my waiting game is nearly over I'm so nervous about this not working because it's our only hope and if it doesn't- then what?


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## Dragonfly32

Congrats, very positive news!

Kept thinking about a white lie but unfortunately I had a coil in (what a waste of time and effort that was....! We both decided we wanted to be married before we started ttc...what an error that was) So the dr's can accurately work out how long we have been trying for due to coil removal....damn....!! I feel we have done our time with referrals and tests so hoping our luck turns a corner soon


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## Caz2015

So glad to have found this little gathering, because I have just had our 1st appointment with an ivf consultant she was lovely, and said as I'm ovulating fine hubbies sperm number and quality are fine looks like it's unexplainable, so had bloods at the time to check antibodies for miscarriage and next month just after period wants to send me for a scan with a dye of my Fallopian tubes.

So nice to have the ball rolling, and good for her to say whether there is something wrong or not she rescons will go for ivf as been trying for 4 yrs 😀


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## kimmibobs

Welcome ONeill2015! I'm delighted you've joined as I'm really not sure what to expect at our first appointment! Sounds like we're in a very similar position to you - seems to be no problems for either of us. Can't wait to get started - just waiting for our appointment to come through. Please keep us posted!


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## LittleStampede

Welcome ONeill! You've come to the right place as we're all going through similar things - namely waiting and more waiting!!

Dragonfly, fingers crossed you hear something soon, it seems there's a glimmer of hope from the consultant's email, and great he's actually emailed you!

Sbb that's great news!! March is only a couple of weeks away and then you'll finally be on the treatment journey. Are you doing anything inparticular to prepare? Did they tell you to eat specific foods, or avoid anything, or take any different supplements? I'm sure we'd all like to hear if they did as hopefully we'll all be pretty close behind you!

We got our test result for chromosome back last week but still not heard anything about our next appointment (which is where we go through CCG requirements for referral). I thought they'd have put that in with the results but nope, that would just be too much like common sense!!

Yes our little Roxy loves to chase birds - she's got guts! She's only just turned 1. When I go home from work every night I'm just so so happy to see both her and hubby are ok; it could've been so different.


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## Caz2015

It  definitely is a waiting  game littlestampede, but I'm glad things are in progress.
Will keep you all informed the same goes for everybody else.

Kimmibobs, I was really nervous for my first appointment but I shouldn't of been, went through my blood results to check hormone levels, and also my hubbies results took more bloods, now waiting till after my next period for a scan on my tubes.
Let us know how you get on


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## Dragonfly32

So annoyed...Just got back from a weekend away for a christening and there is a letter from the new hospital, we have been placed on a waiting list, and that is just for an initial appointment at the hospital. From the looks of it with the paperwork we're being started from scratch again. Can't quite believe this as our other consultant had even put on the notes will refer for ivf after investigations from urologist last April!!!! SO frustrating. 

Hope everyone else is having some luck xx


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## kimmibobs

Oh Dragonfly, that is so frustrating! It doesn't surprise me though - there seems to be a real lack of willingness to share information between regions. It took weeks for our notes to be sent over, and we had to redo all the blood tests etc when we moved. Drives me crazy - we've agreed we're never moving again until we've a baby in our arms!!

For anyone who is as enraged and frustrated as I am about this postcode lottery, please sign this petition http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/70037. Hopefully if enough of us make a noise someone will have to listen?


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## sbb23

Welcome O'Neil! Unfortunately the waiting game is the frustarting part but once you've got past all the tests and there's no further complication you could start treatment in a couple of months but as pointed out by Kimmibob the postcode lottery might result in variations in waiting times etc. But defo going to sign the petition Kimmibob attached, great idea!

Thank you Dragonfly and littlestampede. I asked the doctor if i should be taking anything and he just said folic acid but he didn't really say anything else about diet. We've got our coordination meeting which is where they go through the procedure and show you how to inject and times etc- feeling nervous about the needles. I'm going to eat healthy with lots of fruit and veg in prep and will ask our assigned nurse, who we will meet in the meeting. It's apparently a kind of group meeting initially with other people on the same journey for ICSI and then they assign a nurse to take care of your case. Fingers crossed for you all that you will be starting your journey soon too  

Once you get a referral to the hospital and all tests have been done, the next step for treatment should hopefully follow- that's what happened with me (it took nearly 3 years to get there due to move!) Have you had all your tests yet?
x


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## Dragonfly32

Sbb23 that all sounds exciting! Good luck 

Yeah I think we've had all the tests...I have had blood tests (and repeated blood tests), ultrasounds and HSG. My tests were finished over 8months ago now. My husbands had the blood tests, genetic tests, ultrasound and lots of SAs all done initially by the consultant and then repeated by the male specialist in London. We are waiting to see if we can sort his varicocele out on the nhs but have been told that is done on separate lines to the fertility appointnents. We have also both had our virology screening done. I'm just a bit frustrated because I know appointments normally take 3months each time, but I feel if we are in a waiting list it's the waiting time + the 3months when you finally get the letter through. Grrr!!


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## LittleStampede

Oh no Dragonfly that's rubbish news, so sorry to hear that. Would you consider going private so you don't have to wait again? In the long term, it's all going to cost the NHS more money, so I don't know why there seems to be this lack of communication. Kimmibobs we've agreed the same as you - we're not moving until we have a baby in our arms! I know sometimes it's unavoidable, but that's our plan! In the long term, I'd love to move back to Kent to be nearer my parents and nearer the beach. One day we'll get there, but not until we're a proper family 

I've just signed the petition - it's only got 1100 signatures so far so a long way to go! Is it 100k or 500k signatures it needs to have to be debated by the House of Commons?

When you say 'all the tests', I'm yet to be given a list of tests we need - assuming this is on a case by case basis. I've not had any scans for example, so not sure whether we'll need to have more tests done when we get referred to the IVF clinic? Such is the NHS timing, that my CD2 and CD21 blood tests will be out of date by the time we get the referral through, as they have to be done within the last 3 months. Seriously, no wonder the NHS is in such trouble if they're having to repeat a load of stuff!

Sbb that's really useful information, thank you. I've been on folic acid for over 2yrs now 'just in case' (wishful thinking I know!) I wonder whether the group session is done at all clinics, or if it depends on the clinic.

Thanks for all the good luck wishes, sending everyone lots of luck! x


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## Millie-moo66

Hi little stampede (and everyone else) AF did arrive unfortunately 😢
It's just so hard this waiting game. Our last appointment at the hospital was in November and our next appointment to discuss the next step (laparoscopy) isn't until May! In that time my sister has given birth, and my best friend is due in March (obviously Im over the moon for them both, but hate seeing the sympathy in their eyes, as well as sympathy for myself too!) my step sisters arranged the christening for her son, and Ive found out I'm the only person not invited! When I challenged this, I was told by her mum that they had "all discussed" whether to invite me or not, because "there will be lots of babies there." So hurt but I guess we forget the difficulty our situations are for others to comprehend!
I'm still having the acupuncture to try and slow the ovulation down and using some fertility lubes as well as looking into an uograded monitor (currently using CB) 

My hubby is awaiting the results of his second SA, and we've been discussing the possibility of privately funding IVF (after our free NHS round, if this doesn't work) and been looking at success rates etc. I didn't realise that there is a scheme which allows couples to have 3 rounds of IVF and if they are unsuccessful you get 70% of the money back (it costs £9500.) 

I think I'm just clutching at straws right now because the wait is killing me! 

I really hope you are all coping ok, and I'm sending lots baby dust to you all xx


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## sbb23

Thank you for the luck- Going to need it! Littlestampede i had 2 blood tests for hormone levels proactin and FSH i think. Also had to vaginal ultra-sounds and hubby had 3 sperm analysis tests.-then  we were referred to the clinic and i had my dye test for the tubes and was told if this went ok, we would get the go ahead. We had already had these tests in Yorkshire but repeated them all due to move to London.  I didn't really believe this would be it with being messed around so much over tests etc but thankfully, that's exactly what happened.

Sorry to hear about the further tests Dragonfly! That's so frustrating- hang in there. Maybe ask for a definite timelien about how long it will take before referal because it seems you have done most of the work and if it's still ridiculous then perhaps take the private option hun xxx

Hi Millie- sorry to hear about the arrival of your AF. I know exactly how you feel. The last couple of months my period has been late and every time i start to pray for a little miracle but then when it doesn't happen i felt so stupid for even letting myself get carried away- that's why i'm finding it hard to know the "right" way to feel now that my treatment is around the corner because i don't want to be too hopeful so that i don't fall as hard if it doesn't work- i'm so grateful but so confused. 
 
As for other people being pregnant hun- i can totally relate. I have 5 close members of family and friends who have all got pregnant "by accident" around the same time, including my sister and of course i'm happy for them but it just makes you realise how different our baby making journey is to everyone else. The christening incident is appalling- i can't believe they would do that. How is not inviting you going to be the solution? If this was about saving your feelings then surely, they should have spoken to you and asked if you were up for this kind of gathering and geniunley expressed their worries for your feelings. However, maybe they don't know how to react and that's why have unknowingly made this error? You'll alway have an undertsanding ear for you on here hun. Stay strong


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## LittleStampede

Hi all,

Thanks for the update on the tests sbb - looks like it's not all going to happen like I thought it would in my head then! Namely referral to clinic, open evening and initial consultation with specialist, start treatment within a month. Oh well. So glad we didn't wait any longer before initially going to the doctors over a year ago.

Millie I can't believe how they've treated you! They obviously thought they were doing it for the right reason and with your best interests in mind, but maybe explain to them that you appreciate their concern but that's not the way you'd like to be treated, and would like to be given the option to go or not. Are they now saying you can go if you chose to?

I know what you mean about private options post-NHS tries, if necessary. We definitely want more than one child, so when the NHS tries works (trying to keep positive!) we'll still need to pay for further cycles to complete our family. Such is my mind that I've already started saving for this!! £9500 for 3 rounds seems pretty cheap - does that include drugs, consultations, scans etc? Which clinic is that?

I'm going to a good friend's house for lunch on Sun. She's about 24wks pregnant and I'm not sure how I'll be. I'm fine around babies, but this is the first friend of mine who's had a baby, and I'm not sure if I'll cope ok being around a pregnant woman. She doesn't know about our journey and she's not a close enough friend to tell, so just going to have to be brave I think! I've got a gift and am obviously really happy for her. Anyway, who knows.


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## Millie-moo66

Hi all

Thank you so much for your support sbb23 and little stampede, they had their hearts in the right place, which has helped to refrain from screaming at them! I did explain how it made me feel, I have now been invited but I've told them, I'd rather not got now. There's no way I want to be in a room with everyone after they've all been discussing our issues! 

Ho hum onwards and upwards. My amazing hubby has managed to get our next appt moved earlier! He called the secretary and explained that he felt it was unfair to keep us waiting for 6 months for the next appt and he was called back yesterday advising him that we will be seen in April instead of May!

Little stampede, I'm similar to you in that we haven't had many tests at all either, I've had more than my husband (I've had 2 scans, one internal, and 4 x 21 day blood tests, which have all confirmed I am ovulating, although what they haven't figured out yet is that I'm only having approximately 21 day cycles, so AF is arriving way too soon after ovulation) my husband has only had 2 SA's the first one showed he had 11 million as opposed to the expected 22million, but everything else was ok, and we are awaiting the results of his second SA.

At my last appointment with the fertility doctor, she told me that this next appt will be with the consultant, who will decide whether to do a lap and dye, or just a dye test. So again more waiting! 

I'm not sure if the "bundles of IVF rounds" include the consultations, scans and mess etc, but it's worth looking into. The company who runs the scheme is almost like a broker, and fertility hospitals sign up to the scheme. There is a list of all of the hospitals who are part of the scheme. 
The company is called Access to Fertility. Have a look and see what you think x

I hope you lovely ladies are hanging in there xx


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## Dragonfly32

Heyi

I see a few of you mentioned private clinics I thought I'd share the research I did a few months ago when we thought it was an option, it's all a bit of a mine field!

We thoroughly looked into access fertility before our new house costed us lots of money and now it's out of reach.  If you have male factor and need icsi the fees are £13,500 for 3 cycles then you get 70% money back if it doesn't work (this quote is from a down south clinic I imagine the costs are variable depending on location). They don't take on every client and from what they said to me it was generally people who had already had multiple failed cycles were unlikely to get on the programme BUT they said they look at each case individually. Unfortunately the drugs are not included, the initial consultations (£250) and a few other costs.We were told to expect drugs to be between £1000-£2000 each cycle. The thing to look into is all the private clinics want certain tests done, nearly all of which can be done via NHS (virility screening etc) so it saves some money by doing that.

There is another company that it's actually a charity called the fertility network whom I met at the fertility show. They claim to source the ivf and icsi on a 3 cycle refund programme for about £9000-10,000. However finding their website is a huge challenge (fertilitynetwork.org) and I've still not heard back from them from an email I sent ages ago.

I heard back from the hospital, they endeavour to send out a letter for an appointment within 3months then I guess you need to add on the standard waiting time for fertility appointments. So looks like it could be a long wait....!


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## Millie-moo66

Hi all
How is everyone holding out?
I'm after a bit of advice really. Hubby has had his second SA results today (his first was a few months back and came back at 11 million motility was fair) this one has come back at 8 million with 40-50% motility, I know that's not a great result, but we're not sure just how bad it actually is?!
We also have our appointment booked in for April, which will be for the lap and dye. I'm not sure if any of you have tried this, but my husband was sick of me stressing about having to wait 6 months in between the appointments with the fertility consultant, so he called the secretary and requested an earlier appointment. Shockingly they agreed! So it's been moved from may to April, so it's worth asking ☺ x


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## kimmibobs

I'm afraid I can't help with your questions Millie-Moo but I'm sure someone on here can. Brilliant tip about asking to bring things forward - amazing what difference a phone call can make! 

I'm stressed out and so angry at the moment with this whole thing. My GP claims to have sent our referral on 9th Feb (handwritten - what?!), but can't remember where he sent it and didn't make a copy. I've checked with both clinics in the area and the CCG - none of them have received it. My husband wants us to put in a complaint (look back through my posts to see what other administrative mess we've been through), but I'm nervous that we'll be treated even worse if we complain. What do you guys think?


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## Dragonfly32

Millie-moo is that count per mm or a total sample size? It's generally around 20million is the lower normal end I believe, is your husband on any supplements? My husbands count went from 'not enough to give a number' to 2million after taking the well man supplements, his motility went from 20% to 50%. We have been told proxceed is even better at improving the results, but it's expensive (£60). I have been told semen analysis results can fluctuate so much from one individual from month to month so I wouldn't worry if it goes down as the next one it might go up again.

This website has some details on semen analysis
http://www.resolve.org/about-infertility/male-workup/the-semen-analysis.html

Also the world health organisation have published some parameters of what's normal which might be of some use.
http://www.cmft.nhs.uk/saint-marys/our-services/andrology/reference-ranges-for-semen-analysis


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## Millie-moo66

Hi dragonfly23 thank you so much for the links! 
DH is really gutted because since his first SA a few months back, he has been on a real health kick, even training for a triathalon! He's been taking the wellman preconception supplements since the summer last year, so we're a bit disheartened that after all of this effort, it's dropped?! 
the doctor didn't really give him any advice in terms of how to increase the amount and motility, were not sure if there's any medication he could have? I guess we just have to wait for our appointment in may! 
Thank you for the proxceed info, I'll do a bit more research into that and hopefully get some ordered.

Kimmibobs - I was the same, I didn't want my hubby to call the clinic incase we were treated unfairly because of making demands. The way I see it though is that we are and have all been paying our national insurance and the word service is in the NHS. If you're getting poor service you need to feed that back.


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## Dragonfly32

You're welcome  has your husband had any medical examination/testing yet? Until we saw the urologist they had just told us he had a severe low count but because he appeared healthy (healthy weight/non smoker/doesn't really drink) they didn't know why and the consultant just said take supplements. My husband's second semen analysis had an occasional sperm seen so they then sent us for further tests with a urologist.  From what I have read on here and my experience of our first urologist they are extremely knowledgeable and seem to want to find out why the count us low etc.
I know you mentioned the triathlon, my husband runs, and they told us general fitness is fine but not to do extreme exercise and start training for a marathon (he has been wanting to get back into his marathons (crazy man!!) over the last couple of years but has stuck to 5-10kms instead). I mean quite frankly I know we are all changing our life styles/diets/ paying for supplements and I sometimes think is it really going to make much difference?!?! I'm definitely on the everything in moderation band wagon.
Well done on getting the appointment advance...I think I'm going to get onto the hospital soon and enquire about the waiting list


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## Millie-moo66

I'm not sure what the next step will be for him, I'm hoping he might be sent for more tests when we see the consultant in April?! 
He's been advised that he needs to avoid cycling and to refrain from using heated seats! But that's about as far as the advice went from the GP!  
I've been saying all along, that I just want to know what is causing the infertility, I'd hate to never know the reasons why! But to be honest it's just as stressful knowing, plus I've got to have a lap and dye yet, so that might throw even more issues at us?! 
I know what you mean about all the changes we make, but until we get these appointments/treatments, that's all we can do. 
Keep up the good work and hopefully it'll pay off for us soon xx


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## strangeasangels

hi everyone, I hope you don't mind me butting in? just looking at your NHS stories/attempts to get treatment, it all seems very familiar. after TTCing for a year I finally went to my GP (followed the NHS guidance and didn't go straight away - sorely regret that now). I then waited almost another year for an appointment at the Homerton whilst having various blood tests and the basic scan, my GP however failed to weigh me and when I got to the appointment, the consultant basically told me to get lost as my BMI was too high. it was all a bit soul destroying. that was 2 months ago and I've lost 2 stone but looks like we'll be paying privately - i'm 33 and I just can't cope with waiting any more, am still over a BMI of 30 which is what's required. i'm changing GP and going to ask them to refer me back privately (I am under the weight limit for private treatment, just not NHS). hoping they will then prescribe me clomid although I think I need the fallopian tube scan first too (is that the lap and dye?).

all the waiting and hanging around is awful isn't it? it would be lovely if I could join in and have a place to vent and chat? one of my best friends at work was going through the same thing so I was lucky, but she has now fallen pregnant  (and although she is lovely and supportive, it isn't the same).


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## kimmibobs

Hi StrangeasAngels, and welcome! Please do come and vent - it's all I seem to do at the moment! I feel like every day I'm calling a clinic or a GP telling them to get on with it. It's driving me crazy and I feel like my life is on hold, and has been for about 3 years now. And I've barely started! I'm beginning to wish we'd gone private a long time ago.

You've done amazingly well to lose 2 stone in 2 months - congratulations! I would reward yourself with a private consultation and see what they can tell you about what would be next - then you can make a better judgement about whether to wait or continue down the private route.

Kim


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## Millie-moo66

Hi strangeasanagels, 
I completely understand your frustrations! We had our last appointment in December (after TTC for 2.5 years) only to be told that we should come back in 6 months, as my BMI was also over (where I am it needs to be between 25 and 30, mine was 31.1!) plus she said that we wouldn't be eligible for IVF until the 3 years are up, so the next appointment was in May, my my DH managed to get it brought forward to next month. 
I've had 4 21 day cycle blood tests (all of which confirm I am ovulating) but I have a very short luteal cycle (so I see an acupuncturist to help) I've also had 2 scans (one external and one internal) with no issues raised. DH has had 2 SA's his first one was approx 3-4months ago and came back at 11million (which should be between 20 million and 300 million) he started taking the pregnacare Wellman vitamins and was retested 2 weeks ago and was told last week that the sperm levels are even less?! And now 8 million 😩 with slightly below average motility.
So we've been doing LOTS of research and have ordered some Fertlisan M for him and Fertilsan F for me.
The next step is the lap and dye (which is the laparoscopy and a dye which they put through the tubes to see if there are any blockages or other issues there) the really annoying thing is that the appointment we are waiting for next month is just to "talk" about the lap and dye, with a view to book me in (which no doubt will be another dreaded wait!) 
My best friend is due to give birth next month and my sister gave birth in December. Due to difficulties with the birth, I was taking her back and forth to the hospital with my new born nephew in tow. She had to see the consultant who just happened to be in the clinic where couples go to collect their scans. I was cradling my nephew surrounded by these (quite rightly) excited couples, whilst my sister was in the consultation room - it was too much to bear 😢
I've even changed jobs because there were 3 pregnancies in my office, so there has been no let up! As happy as I am for everyone, it just highlights the anguish we are experiencing. 
Hang on in there xx


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## Dragonfly32

Welcome strangeasangels, vent away, there is so much frustration in this waiting game. 

Our latest frustration after we thought we were getting some where with the urologist we went to chase the urologists secretary to see if we had been booked in for the embolization. We couldn't get through to them as their answer phone was full up, so we contracted the urologist directly again who then forwarded the email to the secretary. The secretary then said we haven't been booked in and that it hasn't been requested, (even though the urologist forwarded her the email??) So she has to go back to the urologist apparently. I have no idea what is happening anymore, our appointment was nearly 6weeks ago and we still haven't managed to resolve the step forward which should have been completed at that appointment really!grrrr!

Feeling sorry for you guys with babies around you, I couldn't deal with it, I've had a bit of a career change to get away from working in schools as I even found that too much. You guys are so strong.

Xx


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## Millie-moo66

Hi Dragonfly32

Your recent experience is awful! I'm so sorry you've had a bad time 😪 
I know health professionals are only human, but it does seem to be quite a common theme, where patients are being treated like mere numbers! On our second appointment, DH and I took the afternoon off work and when we arrived, the nurse took us aside and told us the consultant "hadn't turned up for work today" and "hasn't called in" the next available appointment was 2 months later! I'm almost certain these things wouldn't happen, if we were paying privately!
I really hope you get a clearer plan in place soon x


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## strangeasangels

thanks so much for welcoming me ladies!   it actually feels really great to be able to chat with people going through the same thing. 

thank you kimmibobs, I have tried *so* hard! my consultant appointment was on the 24th of November and I started dieting the very next day (after lots of wine and tears night it happened) and haven't looked back. I dieted over Christmas, which was hard but if I can lose weight during December then I reason I can lose it at any time. I am motivated because I want to go back to the hospital asap and say 'in your face' to the consultant who turned me away!

Millie-Moo I can't believe they just turned you away on the day!!! that's terrible. I would have been distraught. it is really hard being in the office with pregnant people isn't it? since we started TTC 6(!) people in my office have been pregnant - I am about the only one left. I have a big mouth so a few people in the office know about my woes. like I said before, my best friend was TTC with me and was prescribed clomid - but she got a really quick, efficient service from the NHS (she actually saw her GP after I did). she's having her first scan next week. I surprised myself by being really happy for her when she told me - it almost felt like I was pregnant! I guess I was pleased at least one of us had success, and as we seem to have similar issues it gave me hope. (I did have a total meltdown the weekend after with my husband though, got to be honest!).

Dragonfly I totally sympathise, getting somewhere is like banging your head against a brick wall isn't it? my last GP didn't do appointments (I know) so you had to just sit there all morning till you got seen. have moved to one further away (lost faith and trust in my GP after my experience above) but now it is going to be a battle getting to see anyone. just going to register was a nightmare, they turned me away as I took the wrong documents and I had to go back again... ended up crying at that even though it isn't a massive issue, just because it is so hard constantly trying and getting nowhere!

I feel like the hardest battle is the battle to get treatment! it is almost worse than not getting pregnant, it is the constant hope and expectation and time wasted getting nowhere! I feel like my biological clock is ticking away while I fail to get treated


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## Millie-moo66

Ah strangeasangels, I completely empathise with you.
Nobody could have EVER warned me for the struggle this journey would be! The turmoil, the hopes, the dashed hopes when the dreaded AF arrives not to mention all of the bumps and babies of others to be faced with. 

I'm the same as you, my best friend and I also started TTC at the same time and she gives birth in 3 weeks! I also had a bit of a blab to a couple of people in my office, and now that there have been so many pregnancies (another one announced yesterday!) I'm sick of the looks of sympathy I'm getting from the few who know my situation 😪

HOWEVER....you should be so proud of yourself for the progress you have already made, with the amazing weight loss! I've managed to lose a relatively small amount of weight (1 stone) in 6 weeks and the motivation I got from that, was immense! its empowering (especially when there is nothing you can do in terms of the waiting game) plus it's a step ever closer to the ultimate goal! So massive well done. I'm trying to channel as much of the negative feelings I have into my dieting and gym, to be fair that's sometimes an impossibility, but it can help sometimes x

Good luck, and keep up the hard work 😃 xx


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## sbb23

Hi ladies, just thought I'd say my goodbyes on this group chat as I'm starting my treatment any day now- when AF arrives.. I've got my injections etc.. Just want to say thank you soooo much for being there when I needed to vent and to all those who replied to my woes- you really made a difference. Even though I don't know you guys personally, I really feel a strong connection with all those going through this journey.. You girls have made smile and feel like I always have somewhere to turn when I can't take it anymore  

Special mention to littlestampede, kimmbob and dragonfly- all lovely ladies who I've probably had most chats with.. I wish you guys all the best and hope your wait ends soon too 

I hope we all get our little blessings  

Xxxxxx


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## Millie-moo66

Sbb23 - sending you lots of luck and keeping my fingers crossed! Good luck xx


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## kimmibobs

Good luck sbb23! Hope all goes well - thank you for your support while we've all been waiting! xx


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## strangeasangels

Hi sbb, I only just joined in here but wanted to wish you the very best of luck!

Millie big hugs to you, I hate it when people at work get pregnant, it's the worst. I just got given a new role recently and my contact at another office is my old boss, who I've not spoken to for about 4 years. She told me within 3 emails she's pregnant with twins - of course she is! 

Congrats on your weight loss too! Yes it does feel good. I recently went on holiday and gained a few pounds but have lost that again. Trying to stay motivated. 

I had my first appointment with my new GP practice (with the nurse) on Friday, they seem miles better than the last one. I now have an appointment to see the doctor tomorrow (so quick!) and going to ask for a private referral back to the consultant so I can have a scan and hopefully get some clomid.


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## Millie-moo66

Strangeasangels, it really is so hard when you're faced with all these bumps and babies! I feel your pain 😩

Well done on your weight loss too! It's no mean feat shifting these pounds eh?! But all for a good cause, so we must stay focussed!

You must be chuffed with the imorovement of your new GP surgey, it makes such a difference! Is it possible to ask for some tests privately but to still have the ICSI/IVF on the NHS? The only reason I ask is because, I've discovered some things whilst ive been researching (I think I must be close to be able to qualify as a consultant myself with all of this research!) such as having a "scratch" before ICSI/IVF which helps with the implantation, but the NHS won't offer this unless, we've had at least one failed attempt but where I live (Dorset) we are only eligible for that 1 round, so obviously I want to ensure we have everything we can to make the most of that one opportunity! It's the same as having the blood test to look at possible auto immune defects, the NHS will only test for this if we've had a failed attempt? 

I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you tomorrow!! X


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## Caz2015

Hi everyone, haven't been in here for a while as had nothing to report, but now have an appointment on Wednesday for a hysterosalpingogram, has anybody else had one of these ??


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## kimmibobs

No but I think it's next for us - waiting for an appointment.  Let us know how it goes! I'm curious to know if it's different from a lap and dye?

Good luck!!! xx


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## Caz2015

Well I've been for my hysterosalpingogram, was a little uncomfortable at first like a prolonged smear, found a fibroid which they thought was a pregnancy at first. But found that my tubes were clear so now I suppose waiting to get an appointment with the consultant at hull royal


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## kimmibobs

Thanks for letting us know how it went ONeill2015 - I bet you're glad it's over! Sounds like it was good news. Does the fibroid need any treatment? Hope you get your appointment soon.

Our GP messed up our referral - it was sent back as it was submitted "incorrectly". No-one can explain what that means exactly, but it's now being resent. Feels like this is never going to happen!

xx


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## Caz2015

Hi kimmibobs yea were glad we had good news but still puzzled as to why after 4 yrs we don't have a baby, they said the fibroid shouldn't affect a pregnancy but glad she asked for a 2nd opinion it was worrying at the time but as it' is only 3mm and  no other symptoms  such as irregular bleeding etc, just waiting to get a appointment with the  consultant. 
I'm really sorry to hear about the mess up with your  referral I bet you  was really annoyed about it , I wunder  what was "incorrect" on the form!!!


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## kimmibobs

Well, we've made an official complaint in writing to our doctors surgery. Let's see what chaos that creates!!!

Hope you're all doing ok xx


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## Millie-moo66

Blooming good for you Kimmibobs! Let us know how you get on  

I'm after a bit of advice if anyone has any to give me!?
Approximately 4 months ago I started a new job (big mistake!) I have been quite stressed ever since for various reasons. However for the last week I have been suffering from dreadful anxiety attacks every morning from 4 am until I arrive at work, I thought it could be a side effect from the supplements (fertlisan F) I have started taking (my anxiety coincides with when I started taking them). I have a history of anxiety and depression , and have have medication for this for years. I managed to stop the medication (citalopram) and have been off it for the last 6 months. I've called my GP and he has insisted I go back on it. I explained to him that I'm worried about the effect it may have on our assisted fertility treatment, but he just said that my anxiety will be more detrimental than the citalopram. I don't want ANYTHING to affect our chances of success   
I don't suppose anyone here knows if citalopram can have a negative impact on conception? Or if anyone knows of any bad side effects from fertilisan F? Any advice would be welcome x


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## kimmibobs

Hi Millie-moo,

I took citalopram a few years ago and it didn't agree with me, I went onto fluoxetine and haven't looked back. Doc tells me there's no research that suggests fluoxetine affects conception, but there is a slightly increased risk of heart problems for the baby (increased from a normal 1 in 100 risk to 2 in 100 risk). I've no experience of fertilisan F I'm afraid. I agree though that the increase in anxiety would concern me more - I wouldn't be fit for anything!!!


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## Dragonfly32

Well done for the complaint, I hope they get their act together. 

Sorry to hear about your anxiety attacks Millie Moo, I too have struggled with those for years (waking up in the middle of the night being very ill hot/nausea/bad ibs/shaking and generally dreadful - not always being able to isolate why I was feeling like I was). I also used to be on citalopram for a few years but previous to that I used to be on propranol (beta blockers) for my anxiety (before it became anxiety and depression) and they were great, they helped calm me down and reduced the symptoms. I did find trying to look at the cause of why things were happening was useful for me, but it took my quite awhile to master that, my brain seems to like to hide how I feel from me. For completely off the wall advice...I found horse riding quite helpful for anxiety (not the cheapest medicine, and also going for massages etc) 

I once read on a website that anxiety and depression can be symptoms of PCOS I do wonder if anyone has done studies on fertility issues and anxiety/depression? It seems quite common place from reading on here that people have / had struggled in the past. Anyway, well done MilleMoo for coming off the citalopram, it took me over a year to come off it and I found it really difficult, was a huge challenge, there are many days I wish I was back on it. 

I am afraid I have no knowledge of the fertilsan, I took wellwoman fertility supplements for awhile and then stopped, I wasn't sure that I needed the extra supplements as my diet is reasonably good, the specialists we have seen have all banged on about the male supplements and have just said to me take folic acid. 

ONeil..glad your HSG went ok, I am afraid I have only just seen your posts, I had some trouble with mine, they couldn't get the catheter through my cervix was a rather uncomfortable drawn out process with far to many people crowded around having a look!!!


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## Millie-moo66

Hi dragonfly32

Thank you so much for your reply/advice.
It's so strange because I've been in the job for 4 months and although ive found it very stressful, I haven't felt like this at all! I'm gutted I have to go back on the medication, because it also took me a year to come off them, but I can't carry on feeling as horrendous as I have every morning this week!

I've stopped taking the supplements (for now) to see if it makes a difference to how I feel in the mornings. 

It's funny that you mention the horse riding, I sold my horse a few years back, but still get to ride him as he still lives really close by   
I've started trying meditation, my husband is a trainer in meditation, but my mind has always been so mp busy, I've never really tried, but I'm determined to address it, without having to take the citalopram long term xx


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## Dragonfly32

Is it just this week the anxiety has really gone into over drive? it's fab your husband does meditation, I used to do a made up yoga style/breathing/stretching exercises when I was having anxiety attacks  which helped to focus ny mind. I do find I get bouts where I don't cope as well and think what am I going to do etc, but then I do remember it's so good that we are addressing it and we can see what's going on with our bodies rather than just letting it take over. Weirdly more recently I have been getting bouts of I'm not sure I want children, realistically I think it's my brains way of trying to cope with the situation as I can barely even look at a new born baby, never the less its bizarre!

Glad you still get to ride, I've not been on a horse for ages but work with my dog a lot, which is a great form of distraction. He has also helped my confidence a great deal. 

Good luck with the citalopram, try and have a look into the propranol as it's more of a calming influence I think rather than an addictive med. P.s I don't know if I said it took me a year to come off them too, when I had an inciden, they made me go up to 10/20 after I'd finally got down to nearly none, was not pleased!


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## Millie-moo66

I've always suffered with anxiety and depression on and off since I was 6 years old. I've been on medication since I was 19 (now I'm 32) but eventually came off of them a few months ago because I was in a good place and the consultant advised me to come off of them. I've been coping fine, even though I've started this job which has brought me stress. But this last week, it's been HORRENDOUS! And I am totally baffled as to why all of a sudden it's come on.
I'm feeling really drained now, but hoping that with the help of the dreaded citalopram, acupuncture and the meditation I'll be able to get this under control before, before our IVF/ICSI (secretly I'm hoping I'll be able to come off of the pills before the IVF/ICSI, but if not I'll have to accept that.) 

I haven't been riding for a while because if (by some small miracle) we do conceive naturally, I wouldn't want to jeopardise it!

The mind is such a strange thing, I completely understand what you mean about telling yourself you're unsure whether you want children, I've tried "selling myself" the idea of not having children, but within a short space of time, I have that overwhelming yearning again! 

I had the same thing with the citalopram! I got down to 10mg and within a week, I had to stop driving for a while because I was so dizzy so I had to increase the dose again   so I'm gutted I've got to take them again, and am paranoid it'll effect our chances so was really torn about taking them again, but I couldn't bear the thought of even another morning like the last 5 mornings I've had!

It's certianly a rocky road, however it's a necessity to hopefully reach our ultimate goal.

Well done for coming off of the citalopram and staying off them! I know its no mean feat x


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## Dragonfly32

Wow, sounds like you have really been through it   . I am the same as you with the age thing, mine started when I was very young, it's such a rough ride isn't it. Then on top of it you find out about infertility - when does it end?! I think the medication can be really valuable, and it really helps you sort things out, then you can go from there, it sounds like you have a great action plan in place to try and help yourself. Well done, such a tough thing to do when you are having a really hard time. (Completely agree with the weening off, I actually got a pill cutter and did 5mg reduction every 6 weeks or something over a year, I had a crazy schedule of how to reduce the level in my body extremely  slowly, and had to ask for my prescription to all be in 10mg sheets - didn't go down as well as you might imagine!)  

It might be worth contacting a fertility consultant to ask their opinion if you are worried, you might be able to get an opinion without going for an appointment. 

We have actually had some positive news this week, finally feel we are making some headway. My husband is going in for his operation in the next couple of weeks (can't believe it's so soon, we actually had to cancel the first one as they hadn't give us enough notice Why can't it be like this for appointments?!?!), so anyway, now we just need to try and track down this appointment for our fertility consultant in the new area. This is the first time I have actually had a tiny weenie glimmer of hope. xx


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## Millie-moo66

Oh wow that's amazing news Dragonfly32! I'm really pleased for you and your hubby, how exciting?! 

I think you're right, I'm going to chat it over with the consultant (we have an appointment in a few weeks.) from what I've read it looks like there is no definitive evidence that citalopram can hinder fertility, but it can lead to slight risks if you are pregnant. But advice from the consultant would be better.

I'm not sure if you've tried it before but, but husband recently called the consultants secretary to ask for an earlier appointment (ours was a ridiculous 6 month wait!) and amazingly she called back a few days later to tell us the consultant had agreed and will see us next month?! It's always worth being cheeky and asking! 

Good luck to you and your hubby for his appointment in a couple of weeks, it's one step closer xx


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## strangeasangels

Millie sorry to hear you're feeling down, it's such an awful situation to be in on top of everything else. Have you asked your GP if they can sign you off for a while? I think having to work whilst feeling like this is the worst, especially when everyone around you is knocked up.

We've decided to pay for a private consultation at the Lister this week, my GP wasn't very clued up and told me to keep losing weight then go back on the NHS. Refused to send me for any more blood tests. So we are biting the bullet and sticking it on the credit card in the hope I'll finally be able to get some clomid. Hoping it'll come in at under a grand. We can't afford private IVF for sure.

In the meantime I had a positive OPK last Monday, not sure I believe it was accurate but I made OH look and it definitely was! Still not hopeful though - it's the hope that kills you! I also started getting hay fever and took an antihistamine this am without thinking. Now panicking about that. Wish I could stop being so damn anxious.


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## Dragonfly32

MillieMoo we have also tried the moving forward to appointments, we haven't really had any luck with it, but I am with you on the asking thing, you might as well! We have had a bit of luck with getting extra blood tests done by asking etc, I do see this whole process as something that you need to take complete control of yourself, otherwise I think you can quite easily get lost in the system. We have managed to get all of our results, it makes me feel like I have a bit of control over it as I know the whole story, rather than what the doctor has told. (The first GP we saw when she gave us the results she said it wasn't necessarily that bad and we may not need ivf...we then later got the results on paper and found out my hormone levels weren't good and showing no ovuation and my husbands sperm count was so incredibly low - I know some people are positive thinkers...but seriously?!!)

Strangeasangels, good luck with your appointment at Lister, let us know how it goes I have seen that name a lot on this forum. You might be able to get some advice through the private clinic in a way to get seen on the NHS, it's amazing how intertwined they all are. Our urologist works in the NHS but also in the private clinics so I think they are often very clued up. It's great news about your positive OPK 

I completely understand your anxiety, I have over the last 6 months completely given up on even recording when my period is, as even that stresses me out. I couldn't even manage doing OPKs, I did for a few months and did the temperature recording but it just heightens my anxiety (my OPKs were always negative and my temperature flat lines). I have found that ignoring it helps me, but I think I am lucky in a way as our situation means that we have been told it isn't going to happen naturally, now I am coming to terms with that I think my daily anxiety is reduced but I can imagine when I get to IVF my anxiety levels will be through the roof...not sure that will be healthy!!


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## LittleStampede

Hi all,

Hope everyone is getting on ok and getting the support they need to move forwards in the right direction. Well done with making the complaint Kimmibobs - fingers crossed it'll lead to you being fast-tracked but those mistakes should never have happened in the first place...

Sorry I've not been around for a while, I turned 30 a couple of weeks ago and have been busy busy busy - we went to Disneyland Paris for a few days then had a big house party the week after. Yesterday, when all the celebrations were over, it really hit me that I was now 30 and have all the stresses of IVF to come. In addition to this, I'm stressing over money as DH quit his job on 23rd Dec and hasn't been looking very hard for a new one. Yesterday I was really teary all day. Anyway, we have our next appointment with the fertility specialist at the hospital tomorrow afternoon. As far as I know, we've had all the relevant tests and this appointment will be where we get referred. I'm petrified about it as the one criteria we didn't meet was DH's weight - he needed to lose 8lbs in order to meet the BMI requirements and has known this since Sept but I really don't think he's lost enough  I'm so scared that we won't get referred.

Sorry for waffling on, just needed to vent. x


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## kimmibobs

Good luck LittleStampede, I really hope your appointment goes well! My DH didn't lose weight very enthusiastically at all - he hated that he was being told to do something. Like a child, if you let him think it's his idea he'd be all for it! 8lbs is nothing, I hope he's made it! Make sure he wears light clothing and goes to the loo before the appointment!


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## Caz2015

Little stampede, are you sure the doctors/consultant need your DH to lose weight, because my hubby would deffinatly need to lose some weight but they said to us his bmi isn't taken into account only mine?


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## kimmibobs

It depends what area you're in I think - each CCG sets their own criteria to judge whether to give funding or not, so it's a total postcode lottery


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## LittleStampede

Hi yes it's in the CCG guidelines. His BMI has to be below 35 and it was 35.6 or something. He's not massive but he has really chunky bones and a large frame. Some CCG's state that his BMI must be below 30 which he'd really struggle to do, so I'm counting myself lucky! Appointment is in 50mins, arghh!


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## Caz2015

That's a bummer kimmibobs, but hope all goes well with your appointment xx


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## Caz2015

Sorry ment to say littlestampede not kimmibobs sorry !!


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## LittleStampede

Well, we did it! We are officially referred which I guess means it's time I moved on from this thread. We passed all the criteria, including DH's weight (his BMI was literally JUST 35.0 - if it had been 35.1 we would be in a very different place!). DH cried he was so happy. So, next steps are for a CD2 blood test (which luckily is tomorrow), then back to doctors on Mon for us both to have HIV and hepatitis screening. Once the hospital have received those test results the Dr R can send the form off and then we'll hear from Bourn Hall. Yay!! xx


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## kimmibobs

Hooray!!! So pleased for you LittleStampede xx


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## strangeasangels

Hi everyone, hope you are all doing ok. Congrats Little Stampede!

Dragonfly the anxiety is awful isn't it? I am still kind of in limbo (last period began on 1 Feb!) but BFN today. I also had my appointment at the Lister and a scan, sonographer said that my womb lining was thick so looks like AF will show up any day now.

So the consultant was very nice. It's so refreshing to see someone straight away rather than waiting 6 months!!! She thinks I have PCOS. Not sure how the NHS missed that. She has prescribed metformin to aid my weight loss and when AF arrives I am going to book the HSG scan.

Then she suggested clomid with IUI because husband's sperm count was 20 million todayand she refused to give me clomid on its own  It was much higher at his last test (last May) and he has lost weight, drinking less etc now so it was a bit odd. However in the leaflet they sent beforehand they recommend abstinence for 2-3 days only (which he stuck to) - but at the appointment they said it should have been 5 days! So I am hoping that's why.

The scan is £600 so we can (just about) afford that, but clomid with IUI would be over a grand for one round. We can't afford it and at the Homerton info evening they said the NHS doesn't fund that any more because success rates are low. So I guess (providing scan is ok) we are back to waiting for the NHS. I have 3 stone left to lose to get to a BMI of 30. Doable! Think I will go to the GP when I'm a stone out to factor in the inevitable 4 month wait.

Apparently my ovarian reserve is high (I am 33 so was worried about this, and feel better now) and my FSH is normal as is my thyroid. I have had the blood results for ages but the last consultant refused to read them before he sent me home for the crime of being fat! So it was worth paying for the consultation for that if nothing else.

Also my local hospital (the one who cancelled my appointment the day before) got put in special measures this week!!!


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## Caz2015

Well I've just had a letter through to say we have an appointment with the hospital after my hycosy procedure but annoyingly it's not for another 5 weeks!!! 
Hate this waiting game


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## LittleStampede

Thanks all! Wishing you all lots of luck in your journeys to be referred, I'm sure all the waiting will be worth it. xx


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## strangeasangels

Hi all, hope everyone is doing ok. I had my HSG scan today, results all clear. So now I am just waiting to lose enough weight for a referral back on the NHS. I've now lost 2 stone 9 pounds, one stone ten to go!


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## Millie-moo66

Hi all

I hope everyone is ok and hanging in there!
My hubby and I have decided that after our NHS funded round if IVF, we will pursue treatment thought the ARGC (I know we should be a bit more positive about the NHS funded roud, but the success rates at the hospital we have to go to are pretty bad!) I was just wondering if anyone has had any experience with the ARGC? We live in Dorset, so we will have a bit of a trek, would we need to arrange to stay there? 
Also would I need to take time off work for the treatment? We haven't had a round of IVF yet so we don't know the process.
Any advice would be great
Thank you and good luck to you all xx


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## Millie-moo66

Hi gailgegirl 
Thank you so much for the link, I'll have a little look through there xx


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## Millie-moo66

Hi everyone, I'm sorry for all the questions!
MyDH and I have just had another appointment with our fertility clinic and he has put me forward for a HSG and has explained that he is referring us to our most local fertility clinic (Salisbury) and has explained that the wait for the treatment may have a waiting list of between 2-3 years?! He advised that the consultation will likely be in the next month or so, but the actual treatment will have a much longer wait. Does anyone have any experience with Salisbury and can give any insight in the waiting times there? Xx


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## Dragonfly32

Hey,

How is everyone getting on? I have my first appointment in this county in just over a week, I think I am already feeling anxious about it, I think it is just an initial consultation with a consultant here who I guess will tell us if they will be able to put us through for ivf funding or not, the rules are quite stringent so I am not sure what they are going to say. I sent them all of our test results already so hoping they don't have any other tests the will request - I am not sure there are any left, or if they decide they want to do the tests themselves - I would not be impressed if that was the case! They sent me off for an AMH test, so that result may give us an indication on what we need to be moving on to. My dh had his varicocele embolization about 6 weeks ago now and we have our follow up in July with the urology department in London, so guessing they may want to wait for those results. 

Such a long waiting game  how is everyone else doing?

xx


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## sbb23

Hi all, hope you are well. It's good to see things are getting a move on with you Dragonfly, Millie-moo and little stampede!  I just thought I'd update you guys as I left this group about 3 months ago to start my IVF thread... As you all know I was waiting for my AF to arrive so could start treatment.... I had the injections waiting in the fridge BUT my period never came. I did a pregnancy test- really not believing that I would get a positive(as I'd been late before and done tests which were negative) the first line appeared and my heart sank- seconds later the second line appeared and I couldn't believe it!!!  Ran out to tell the hubby and we both still didn't quite believe it seemed to good to be true- 3 days in and 5 pregnancy tests and confirmation from GP later I finally believed it... I'm 13 weeks now and feel blessed and even though I had to wait 2 years to get to IVF stage I now realise that God had a better plan even though it was frustrating so don't lose hope girls- hope you get your miracles soon too...


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## kimmibobs

That's fantastic news sbb23!!!!! Congratulations! Do keep us posted. Thanks for sharing your positive story - brings us all a little bit of hope!! xx


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## Evie777

Hi ladies,

May I join in? This looks like a thread that could really help with the (long) journey. Been trying to conceive our first child for coming up to 2 years now. First tests, fiancé's were good, mine were "normal" (fsh 9.6 lh 6.9) we were told to try for another year. Then recently i went to the doctor for something unrelated and ended up asking for councelling, as tcc is getting me really down. Doctor said my fiancé and I could come in and start a refferal process. I had to be re-tested as my tests were out of date..new fsh result is 10.6  (need to call to get lh result this week). 

My reserach tells me I don't now qualify for ivf...but doctor has said results are "normal" not sure what happens next...research tells mw my fsh number is pretty crap for my age, 33. 

Anyone with more knowledhe able to shed light? I haven't been given any internal tests...

Thanks in advance x


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## kimmibobs

Hi Evie777, sorry to hear you've been struggling. Do you know what the funding criteria in your area is? It varies by region, so in one place you might be eligible, in another you might not. It's often due to length of time trying and age rather than test results - at least in the early stages of investigation anyway. At 33 you certainly should be eligible! You should be able to find out at http://www.fertilityfairness.co.uk/nhs-fertility-services/ivf-provision-in-england/. 
Good luck!


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## Evie777

Hi Kimmibobs, thanks for responding! yes, I checked...Brighton and Hove FSH must be under 10  is 10.5 that bad? I take it natural won't happen...do you think they will still give me internal skans? 

Xx


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## kimmibobs

It will make a difference when in your cycle the FSH test is done - that could be worth checking. Plus if it's been lower in the past that may be taken into consideration? If nothing else I'd have thought your GP should investigate your FSH result if it's out of the normal ranges.

When there was confusion about the criteria for me I went to the clinic and asked them - they had a more updated version than my GP. You could also try contacting the CCG directly?


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## Evie777

Hi Kimmibobs,
The latest result was done one cd 2. The lab says up to 12 is "normal". But that's not what I've been reading online...next step i need to do a chlamydia test, after which they will referr us...but probs won't get nhs funding. Bleh...this sucks. Xx


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## kimmibobs

You might find some people from the same area at http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=527.0 - they might know more?


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## Millie-moo66

Hi all, just feeling so frustrated! So my consultant referred me to have a hsg and I was waiting and waiting and waiting for an appointment. In the end I got impatient and started chasing. Basically after spending the best part of the day on and off the phone. I was informed that an appointment was made for the hsg, however the appointment was cancelled on my behalf because I didnt have an up to date chlamidia test done! So I've had that done and got the negative results this afternoon, only to be told that the consultant is on leave until 28th!!!! So sick of this waiting game.

Sbb23 - that is AMAZING news! I'm so happy for you and your DH!! Thank you for sharing your beautiful success story with us   

The consultant told us that the next step is to have the funding meeting with the clinic, to check our eligibility. He said that he couldn't see a problem with our eligibility. I'm assuming they would have tested my fsh levels from all of the blood tests I've had? They've never told me if there's an issue with them?! 

I hate this over analysing, but when you're waiting and waiting, what else can you do?!

Hang on in the everyone


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## Dragonfly32

How incredibly frustrating for you, I hope it gets resolved very soon. In my experience having seen a few different consultants now you really have to be so demanding with them, asking for numbers etc, they don't seem to be forthcoming with the information. I did find it helpful to acquire all our notes as it means at least you know what they've done and haven't done which might be the case, also seeing the letters written between GPs and consultants make things clearer to understand where exactly you are at! Although I think in our case we've been pushed from pillar to post in terms of consultants so its been vital to keep tabs on them!

I've not heard of having to take a chlamydia test? That is a test I haven't been asked to do yet interestingly, and I had my hsg done this time last year (quite strange actually realising that it's been that long since hsg!) 

As for FSH levels I think they and the LH levels are tested straight away, they are usually tested in the first few days off your cycle.
I don't know if that helps? The other thing is when I had my hsg I was given a number to call on the first day of my period then they see if there is an appointment, if not, you have to call the following month, it took abut 2/3months to get mine done I think. That might have just been what they did in Essex though. 

Hope today is a better day for you  

How is everyone else getting on?


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## Millie-moo66

Hi dragonfly32

Thank you for the info, that really helps. I'll definitely ask for all of our notes when I see the consultant/gp again.
I have to admit, I was really taken aback when I was told that I needed the chlamidia test before they would do the hsg! 
I know I've had 3 consecutive 21 day cycle blood tests, so I'm not sure if they can test for the fsh levels on those, to be honest I don't even know what the blood tests were for, apart from to confirm ovulation? (which it did)
It's all very confusing and FRUSTRATING, I think I need to take your advice, and be a bit more assertive. I feel really in the dark with a lot of this, especially when I compare others experiences from this god awful process.
I hope we all get our prayers answered soon


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## Dragonfly32

Yes you're right the day 21 does measure progesterone, it's great they have done 3 consecutive tests, I have only had two done throughout my 'journey' but the second one I requested before we had hoped to go privately as my initial one would have been out of date (mine came back with no ovulation and they didn't think to do another to check!). It's great that your blood tests have confirmed ovulation, you must be pleased. The FSH/LH levels change throughout the cycle so I believe they use the day 2-5 as a bench mark - but that is only what I have picked up, so I might be wrong! 

I did manage to get a print out of my initial blood test results from the GP (at the reception desk), and acquired the other results from the hospital (they were able to email them over which was really useful). But I am guessing the Doctor should be able to verbally give you the numbers to write down. 

Do you know how long you are going to have to wait for your HSG? I would advise you to take paracetamol and ibuprofen before, some people say it doesn't hurt, but it took them 15/20minutes to get the catheter through my cervix, so I was very pleased I took the drugs!

Keeping my fingers crossed you get your appointment through soon   hopefully you won't have to wait much longer after that.


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## Millie-moo66

Hi dragonfly32 
There have been some developments and to say I'm angry is an understatement! There have been a few disappointments along the way (I'm sure you've had your fair share too) last year my hubby and I attended an appointment with the consultant, only to be told she hadn't turned up for the clinic. So we were turned away and provided with another appointment for a months time, when we attended the next one, we had to wait 6 months to discuss our next step with the other consultant. We've just bee to that one a month ago and this was when I was told I need the hsg, he advised hat the wait shouldn't be too long (3-4weeks) however I waited and waited for the appointment and after 2 weeks I decided to chase. Only to discover that the hospital had cancelled my appointment for the hsg because I hadn't had an up to date chlamidia test. So that was yet another wait. That has all come back clear and now I'm waiting for the hsg appointment, which will then trigger the referral to Salisbury fertility centre (after 2 and half years)
Anyway, a friend of my sister is also going through the process within the same catchment area, and she has had no tests (having just one external scan) she and her hubby are in a similar situation as me and my hubby, in that he has low sperm count and poor quality. Well last week despite her starting her journey a year after me, she has attended her funding meeting at Salisbury hospital and has been granted 2 cycles. I has ecstatic that the rules had changed from funding 1 cycle to 2. To be sure I called Salisbury and they told me that the rules had indeed changed 3 weeks ago, and they are now funding 1 instead of 2. She explained that if my referral had been received 3 weeks ago, we would also be entitled to 2 rounds, but now we will only have 1. I'm still so so angry. If the consultant had actually turned up for the appointment last year, we would have fallen into that category!
I've asked the hospital for all of my test results as you've advised and I was told I need to get them from my gp,so that will be my next step. Plus a complaint through pals!
I hope your journey is going a bit better xx


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## strangeasangels

Hi everyone, hope you are all well. I've been a bit down of late (job not going well, best friend at work 6 months pregnant) hence the disappearing act, apologies.

Millie and Dragonfly I too have experienced delays and annoyances - I had an appointment with a consultant in November after a year's wait (2 years TTC) only to be turned away as my BMI was too high. They could have told me that before!!!

Millie that is awful about the funding. When I went to the hospital last yr I was told they would fund 3 cycles in my area, I hope that hasn't changed 

Have since paid £1000 (on credit card so not ideal) for scans and an HSG privately - all clear and now taking clomid. Have also almost reached target weight so going back to my GP on Tuesday for a referral back to the hospital. Dreading to find out the waiting times!

Hope everyone is ok xx


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## Millie-moo66

Hang on in there strangeasangels. I know what you're going through my best friend had her baby in March, I spent a fortune making a hamper for her over the last 9 months and she's been so cold with me since she's had her baby. I haven't even met her baby yet! It's horrid, but our time will come!  
I'm starting the appeals process to request a second round of IVF considering their numerous blunders! I got hold of my medical notes and test results (after one hell of a battle and some £'s lighter!) and it only highlights how they have managed to delay the process so unnecessarily! 
For example one of the reports says that my HSG referral was not accepted in March as I hadn't had a chlamidia test. But I one of the first reports I had back in March last year clearly stated that they had screened me for chlamidia and that this was negative. So I could have had the HSG back in March, now I'm awaiting for another date for the HSG after having the requested chlamidia test last month?! It's ridiculous. They seem to forget that this is our lives, we're not just numbers (rant over!) 
Massive well done on the weight loss front, I know it's hard to feel motivated to get in shape, but it's just another hoop we need to jump though (I needed to lose over a stone, and have finally got there! Yay to us!) 
Let us know how you get on on Tuesday, try and keep your chin up


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## strangeasangels

Millie that's really lovely of you and I don't know if I could manage that! Can't believe your friend has done that, pretty low. I get that having a baby makes you busy but it's no excuse. 

If it makes you feel any better, I've certainly lost a few friends due to being in this situation - a couple just through lack of contact (ppl with kids who know about me seem to feel uncomfortable around me), but one who categorically told me (during a long tearful chat) she hated kids, wasn't ever gonna have any, I didn't have to worry about her ever getting pregnant etc. fast forward 3 months and she's telling me she has some 'shocking news'. I said congrats etc but she hasn't been in touch since (she'll have had the baby now). 

What a mess, I hope they accept your appeal because it really sounds like you have had a horrible experience  

And yay to the weight loss!


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## Millie-moo66

Strangeasangels, it's unbelievable how people can show their true colours when we're in this situation. I think my best friend just feels so uncomfortable and can't face the idea of seeing me. I know she's really struggling (she didn't really want a baby but when I told her we were trying, she had visions of us being mums together!) now she's finding it hard to cope. Her partner even called the health visitor because he was fearful that she's got post natal depression. The last time I spoke to her she said "now I can see why some women dump their babies in public toilets, it's just horrendous" I just couldn't comprehend what she was saying really, and I guess it just confirmed the awkwardness between us.  

Anyhow, keep up the good work and stay focussed, think of the so called friends as doing you a favour. They obviously weren't the friends you thought they were, if they can treat you the way they have. At least it's one less thing to put effort into, and now we can focus on the important stuff  

Take care and keep your chin up, if you need a rant just do it! Xx


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## strangeasangels

You are so right!  

So I went to the GP, they weighed me and I was a whole stone heavier than yesterday morning at home (pre breakfast). She has referred me back anyway but it worries me that breakfast and clothes can do that (came home and weighed myself afterwards to check my scales aren't just massively off). I'll have to not eat when I go to the hospital.


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## Millie-moo66

A whole stone?! That's crazy, I always get really bloated pre period, so that may have had an impact if it was that time in your cycle. Don't worry because I'm sure there'll be a bit of a wait before you're issued with an appointment. In a month I lost a stone by cutting out ALL sugar, not even fruits (it's so tough!) and no carbs either. I just ate meat, fats and veg. Now I've lost enough weight I've introduced wheat and gluten free bread to the mix, and it seems to be keeping the weight off. I go to the gym a couple of times a week, but I'm sure if you're not a member at a gym, you can do some exercises from home, or going for walks (I don't mean to sound as though I'm preaching, but it worked for me.) if I can do it anyone can. We'll be skinny Minnie's before we know it


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## Citigosilver

Hi Ladies

I am totally new on this forum and i am awaiting appointment to begin hormone treatment. I called the hospital yesterday to advise i had started period to be told that they are fully booked and I now need to wait until my July period........ A bit disappointing to say the least but i cant do anything else other than wait it out.

Does anyone know if you are weighed at every appointment? At my previous appointments my BMI was bang on the threshold, i managed to lose 8 pounds as instructed to but have just returned from holidays and have more or less put it all back on. I have a month to lose it again so not overly worried but just wondered how often they weigh you as it does weigh on my mind.


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## Millie-moo66

Hi citigosilver, I've been told that I'll be weighed during the funding meeting. I was in the same boat as you my BMI was 32 and it needed to be below 30. After only 1 month of working out 3 days per week and cutting out all sugars and carbs, I lost 5kg (which is a stone!) you can do it!

I was wondering if anyone has any insight regarding the HSG? I had mine done on Monday, and was advised my tubes are both normal. So we now know it's male factor infertility (God love him) my question is, I got a "high" reading on my ovulation test on the same day as my HSG (day 9 of my cycle) and although it was a bit sore, that night, we did the deed (the nurse said it'd be ok.) the next day I got a "peak" reading so again we did the deed, and then it went back down to "high" yesterday. I've done a bit of reading online (I'm sure we're all doing the same!) and there are a lot of women who have conceived after the HSG, allegedly due to "clearing the tubes" whether they are blocked or not. Well I was wondering whether this has been true for anyone on here? If so how soon after the HSG?
I bled a fair bit afterwards, but by the evening the pain had almost gone.


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## Dragonfly32

Hi guys,

In regard to questions about weighing I was only weighed once during the initial appointment with my fertility consultant - before they did the extra checks, mine is in the normal threshold but I must say some of these scales they use at the hospitals are archaic, I have fluctuated about +/-3 kg when I stay at a steady weight on my one at home and I know 3kg must be a reasonable swing on the BMI, incredibly frustrating for you 

Millie-moo - so pleased to hear they have finally done your HSG, you must be relieved, good news it is all clear. I don't have any insight as such, but I have also heard that people can get pregnant after the HSG or in the following months so fingers crossed. Really interesting you have said you are ovulating day 9, so I guess you really need to get in there quick once your period has finished! Sounds great that you have been able to pin point when you are ovulating, that will help a lot, I will keep my fingers firmly crossed for you. I never managed to get the sticks to work for me  

I wasn't initially going to mention it as I know it's never a nice thing to hear, but after our struggles we have had a bit of a natural success story after both of us being primary factors of infertility, I am now a few months down the line. Typically we found out the day before we finally got our ivf referral. The consultant was gobsmacked, my husbands highest sperm count was 2million at it's best but the bulk of the tests were under a million or even 'few sperm seen' his motility and such were not great either. I didn't appear to be ovulating and my progesterone levels were low, we were told by various means that ICSI was our only shot. So I am quite intrigued to know whether we have the proxeed to thank for this, or his varicocele op which was done around the time of conception, so who knows. 

I really hope everyone's journeys speed up and you're not left waiting much longer and you don't have to put up with any insensitive friends (I was so sorry to read what you put up Millie-moo about your friend ) It is incredible to see how selfish people can become, and even medical professionals - the midwife I saw had to note down about our fertility issues and she actually said - oh you must have just finally relaxed, and then asked had we gone on holiday!! I was fuming inside and I wanted to shout 'but it just doesn't work like that!!' It always surprises me when I hear these comments from medical professionals! 

 Good luck xx


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## Millie-moo66

Oh dragonfly!! I am SO happy to read your amazing news! Massive congratulations.  
It's always so special reading about the success stories on here, when you know that couples have gone through the fight we are all battling. 
I totally agree with your distaste at the notorious "if you relax it'll just happen" if I hear it one more time, I can't be accountable for my actions   
You must be over the moon. Please keep us posted, it's always nice to read a happy ending xx


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## kimmibobs

Hi all, 

Dragonfly that is fantastic news!!! Thank you so much for letting us know - it's incredibly uplifting to hear these positive stories! I'm delighted for you and hope you're feeling ok. 

I'm in the middle of my first IUI cycle now - all seems to be going ok, fingers crossed!

Kim xx


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## Evie777

Hi all, haven't been on here for a while, so have missed some stuff..

Dragonfly!!! Awesome, amazing news     

Kimmibobs, keeping everything crossed and sending happy vibes your way regarding IUI. X 

I have my first referral appointment on Monday. I checked out CCG's and with FSH over 10, won't qualify for funding...I'm hoping they might re-test (only been tested twice, 9.6 and 10.6) and that supplements might have lowered it...other than that, does anyone know if they will still advice us about the next steps?? Xx


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