# Are we too old too adopt?



## Maisyz (Dec 15, 2010)

Suddenly we both hit 40. DH works from home. I quit work when I started the IVF journey and wouldn't need (or want) to go back to work if we adopted. We own our own home outright, have no debts and I'd say are pretty much settled after over 20 years together.

Recently we have thought about fostering and or adoption but someone has said we're too old?? Is this right?

Maisy (who doesn't remotely feel 40 and def doesn't look it)


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

Whoever said that is wrong, wrong, WRONG!!  You are certainly not too old to adopt, and to be honest, you sound in a perfect position to do so.  If you scroll through many of the posts here you will see ladies (and gents) of all ages and this is the norm.  Our VA said that their average adopters are around 40, so you are considered the 'norm'.  There is no upper age limit to adopt either, whereas there is a lower.  Many agencies have a preference, eg, you must be no more than 40, 42, 45 etc years older than any child placed, but I do not think it is set in stone as a general rule.  We have experienced prejudice from the other end of the scale by one LA and were considered too young, because of course at 27 time is still 'on my side' and I was too young to make any kind of informed decision about my own future      Sorry, I digress!!  

So basically I think you have lots going for you here, so why not call around a few agencies, you have nothing to loose, and hopefully much positivity and support to gain


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## BECKY7 (Feb 2, 2011)

Hey maisyz  OMG  whoever told you  are so so wrong as I am 41.6 and I am doing fostering as we got young girl living with us from last week and our agency know we wanted new born baby to adopt so we are doing fostering a baby to adopt  otherwise most adoption you would have to wait till the baby around 9-12 month old  So your never never too old ok.
Good luck
Becky7 xx


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## Anjelissa (Jan 11, 2007)

Hi Maiszy,

No you are definitely not too old!

We were 38 and 40 when our little man was placed with us, we are now 41 and 43 and are just starting the process for another lo.
Friends of ours from our prep course were 46 and 48 when their lo (then aged 14 months) was placed with them.
I know many other adopters of a similar age range so the above examples are completely normal.

Rather than a max age nowdays some agencies like there to be a max amount of years between the child and adoptive parent/parents, eg if the maximum is 45 years then when you are 46 you can only adopt from a 1 year old+, then at 47 a 2 year old+, and so on.

The 'someone' who told you they thought you are too old is probably basing their opinion on how things were many years ago but lots of things have changed in recent years (still much more needs to change  , but I wont start off on that one!)

Lots of luck,

Anj 
PS...I know what you mean about not feeling 40, I still feel about 28


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Definitely not I think you'd be a very typical age. There is no upper age limit although some places do have a rule but the lowest I've ever heard is 42 + that means a 42 year age gap between you and the child. As no child is really adopted much before 12 months you've got no worries at all x


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## snapdragon (Jun 27, 2011)

I applied to adopt at 42, dh was 43. It has taken about 18 months and I will be almost 44 when we meet our little boy next week. He is 22 months and it was our choice not to go any younger.


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## Guest (Dec 28, 2012)

No way are you to old!! I am 39 (but not for long!!), DP is 42 our SW said we are quite young for adoption!! And they have no guidelines on age between parents and child ages!

Good luck and hope all goes well.

Xx


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## funnychic (Feb 2, 2012)

Ok I am going to "out" myself now and tell you I am an ancient 47 years, single , overweight and I have a 20 month old baby I have been matched with and is coming home in January so NO YOU ARE NOT TOO OLD!!!!


Very best wishes xx


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## skyblu (Sep 9, 2010)

I'm 41 in 2 months time and dh is 43 and we have just been matched with a 22 month old baby girl. In our LA the youngest partner has to have at least a 45 year + gap from the child. On our course we had a couple 44yrs and 58yrs and they have been matched with a 9 month old baby boy, so it does happen.

Good luck

Skyblu.xxx


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## A.B.Marsh (Dec 26, 2012)

Age is just a number. There are no rules on who can be a great parent, It happens when it is time and it may be your time. All that matters is the child and as long as they are taken care of nothing else matters and it sounds like you are more than capable and ready for a child. Good luck and don't let other people get you down do what makes you happy.


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## Maisyz (Dec 15, 2010)

Thankyou so much everyone. Will look into things in the new year x I'd like a slightly older little one anyway, 3 upwards, pref pre school so e can have just us at home time (which I think is important) but not fixed on having a baby. So lovely to hear  good news stories from you all x


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## someday (Sep 11, 2008)

most definitely not too old!!! i will be nearly 40 when matched and dh is 47 and age has never been an issue in the process. In fact when we were talking age groups with social worker we were keen for 0-5 age group, she said she wouldn't place older children with us as we are too young. So age definitely isn't an issue and no way are you too old.xxx


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

We are 40 and 43 and we were told we too were quite 'young' in adoption terms. Not too old at all.  There is a lot of misinformation out there. Good luck xx


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## o Doc o (Dec 27, 2012)

This is the same as us Katie my OH is 40 and we are considered very young  . 

There is always hope


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