# How do you cope with the waiting between treatments?



## Heidi33 (Apr 2, 2013)

Hi ladies,

Just vending really and wondering how others cope.

I ttc with a coparent for 6 monthd last year unsuccessfully. Then I got a bfn 2 weeks ago from my first IUI. I'm single and self funding and it took me months to save up the cash for treatment. I actually thought it worked first time as my AF was late but sadly it wasnt to be.

Now I'm back at square one with my savings at zero. I have to pay for a hsg in a few weeks and if its clear i wont be able to have my next IUI until September and my third in October.

I just feel low, sad and lonely. I'm fed up scrimping and saving, not being able to afford going out, or to visit my family due to the bus fares and constantly thinking about money  I have a 2 hour commute to work everyday so I can rent cheaply and often work 6 days a week. Nearly every aspect of my life is affected by my desire to concieve. I know all my sacrifices will be worth it if i get my bfp but at the moment my life feels like its on hold and has little meaning.

I know I must sound sorry for myself and compared to other ladies here im very early on in my journey. I'm not looking for pity but was just wondering if others feel the same. How do you cope?

Thanks

Heidi x


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## cinnamon75 (Jan 13, 2014)

Hi Heidi,

I'm not going to be able to answer your questions I'm sorry but I thought I'd say hi anyway. I'm 38 and started my journey in December with my first blood tests. So far, we have found out all is good to conceive naturally, except in my lap & dye last week they said one tube had needed a little flushing out and it seems my thyroid is higher than hoped at 4.3 which isn't helping probably. 

I just got a letter today for my next appointment in September and it feels so far away  I think being 38 (39 before the next appointment!) the wait feels so frustrating. I'm thinking of asking for a private consultation to speed things up but I'm not sure at the moment if this is possible or helpful. It terrifies me that it could be over a year before we even get to the IVF stage and I would be at least 40 before any chance of having a child. 

I'm sorry you are feeling lonely and down. I just wanted to send a big hug   . I guess we'll get through this by just having hope and a dream. 

Sally x


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## -Susan- (Apr 9, 2012)

Hi Hiedi. I hope you don't mind a pregnant person responding, but I'm possibly the world's most impatient person and felt exactly the same as you last year. I waited about 8 months between my failed treatment and my second successful treatment and it felt like forever. I was also skeptical treatment would ever work for me/us, as my first cycle went pretty badly towards the end (embryos didn't develop well), so I was pretty depressed thinking I might never be a mum, which is the worst feeling.

I think what helps varies from person to person, but I found that planning and preparing for the next cycle really helped me, as I felt like I was doing something as I was waiting. So things like getting healthy, researching and starting supplements, reading up on ways to improve success rates, and just educating myself generally about the whole process. I also devised plans for every eventuality, so what I would do if it was a BFN, what I would do if my second cycle went as badly as the first, what other clinics I could go to to improve chances if I needed a third cycle, what additional tests or treatments could help etc. It was still horrible waiting, it felt like my life was on hold and I did constantly have it on my mind, but it made it feel like I was doing something to better my chances. Unfortunately until a time machine is invented that's all you can really do!  

Best of luck for your next cycle x


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## Heidi33 (Apr 2, 2013)

Thank you for your kind replies 

Cinnamon - I totally get the age thing! I'm going to be 39 in October and if I was younger I'd be a lot more relaxed but ATM I'm determined to get 3 IUIs done before my birthday as I feel time is running out  I'd love to take a holiday this summer but that would delay treatment by a few months only but for me it's still a no no!

Susan - it's inspirational to hear from a BFP lady! I have a big plan B if these IUIs don't work. I love travelling and have seen lots of the world. If unsuccessful I'm planning some time out to go travelling round Brazil and Russia before starting IVF next year. That thought gives me some comfort!

I treated myself to a trip to the cinema last night so feel a bit brighter now. I think having little things to look forward to every month also helps eg nights out, days away.

Hate having to work 6 days a week though


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