# dont know if i can take anymore



## noodles (Sep 4, 2004)

AF just arrived about 5 mins before I was going to test today as a day late........was expecting it anyway - always do....thought I'd phone my best friend for some support............she said all the right things untill.............'there's something i've got to tell you'...............she got pregnant on bonfire night after a one night stand.........she's on the pill but also took the morning after pill........she didnt realise she was pregnant until last week and she doesnt want the baby but to late to do anything about it......bless her, she offered it to me - but thats not the point, we want our own baby.  
WHY IS LIFE SO MEAN?
I feel like giving up - i am trying really hard to get pregnant on clomid and its just not happening.  I feel so depressed all the time and cant see the positive outcome ever happening.

noodles


----------



## Jennifer (Jul 22, 2004)

Ohhhh Noodles

I am soooo sorry to read your post.  How heartbreaking for you.

I don't know what to say so gonna send loads of cyber hugs instead

   
  

Lots of Love
Jennifer xx xx


----------



## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

noodles so sorry sweetie, life is so unfair at times sending you loads of    

luv pam xx


----------



## crocodile (Sep 14, 2004)

Noodles

I really feel for you, the months and months I went through the same thing (before I
found out we could not conceive naturally) the hope and excitement when you think what
might happen, the symptoms where your mind is playing tricks with your body and then the
utter despair as all your dreams come crashing down when the horrible witch pays you
yet another visit….

On top of that to hear your best friends news it must be like a knife in your heart….

There is nothing I can say, it all seems so unfair..the more I post on this site and see really
caring lovely kind unselfish women who would make wonderful mothers having their hearts
broken every month or every tx and then pick up the paper to see other women who have 
mis-treated their children or had abortions the more I don’t understand…

I am sure it will happen for you, I see from your post that you have only just started Clomid,
give it some time and try to relax…spend time with your partner and try to keep believing, you
will never have the time you have now with your partner once you have a baby (which you
WILL), so keep believing and it will happen when its meant too

take care

Croc


----------



## Grumps (Dec 13, 2004)

Hi Noodles

I just wanted to say that i know exactly how you feel.
I wont bore you with all the details of my situation (because in truth i'm bored of thinking about) but suffice to say i am having a real down day too and can completely sympathise with you.
Sending lots of love
ttc
xx


----------



## Sasha B (Jan 24, 2005)

Dear Noodles,

I can really relate to the injustice of it all. Here we are desperate for a baby and others seem to take the ability to concieve and carry a child through pregnancy completely for granted. I have had a hard week this week. HPT showed negative on Day 16 (so wanted it to be positive as DH and I are desperate for children. We've also had a tough year with DH battling a brain tumour). Anyway, I really want to encourage you. Just when I've felt its all become too much, something always happems to make me appreciate the good things and the blessings (hard when you are in a painful place). There are others out there who understand exactly what you are going through because they are going through it too. We will get there in the end. Don't give up hope  .

Sasha B


----------



## piercingqueen (Dec 30, 2004)

dont give up hope noodles as when you do get the bfp then it make all this pain fade believe me hunny, i always get af after i test bfn one time i was over a week late and tested and got a bfn 5  mins later i got af i know its not fair just carry on thats all we can do


----------



## noodles (Sep 4, 2004)

thanks everyone.....i feel better today....i realised my friend needed me so i phoned her and we both had a good cry.....she said she was worried because its only me she can talk to about things and she has been feeling soooooo guilty and scared about telling me.  but now we can talk we both feel better and i know that by being ok about it, it will help me to deal with my own situation.
still telling myself to have hope even though i feel really down, just trying to keep busy.....tidying out the garage today!!!

love noodles


----------



## piercingqueen (Dec 30, 2004)

just trying to keep busy.....tidying out the garage today!!!

love noodles
hang on thats going to far  ( or is it just me who hates tidying lol)


----------



## Clumsy Cat (Mar 4, 2005)

Noodles, I just joined ff site today and I read your post just now so sorry for late advice.  Don't give up .

You're still at the beginning of a journey.  It may not be easy but little miracles do happen.  Every time I get down because the Clomid has failed yet again.  I look at the photo of my cousin's baby girl, who arrived after 10 years of trying every fertility treatment in the book. It might be harder for us than for other women but stay positive, it will happen. And who knows the countless failed attempts might harden us up mentally to the extent that when we finally get into the delivery room....we won't feel the pain (yeah right!).


----------



## twinkles (Jan 31, 2005)

Ohh Noodles,

I know exactly how you are feeling, pregnant people seem to follow me around  !!!

I was part of a group of bridesmaids and one had to drop out at the last minute cause she got pregnant, then a friend of mine got pregnant when she didn't even want a baby, then i was paying for my IVF and someone phoned the reception at the clinic and asked if they carried out abortions and i just thought 'oh for god's sake, why can't i just trade places with one of those people'  !!  

Life can be so unfair sometimes, but you've somehow got to keep going and be positive otherwise it will just eat you up from the inside.  I know it's not easy but you have to try and find the strength from somewhere within....and eat lots of chocolate, my nana says it was sent to us by the angels to help take   the taste of disappointment away!!

Lou


----------



## noodles (Sep 4, 2004)

Hey Everyone - just saw this post again.............and wow I feel so much better 2 months on!

I thought I was never going to feel better but I do - I feel so much more positive now.
The month I posted this I went to acupuncture for stress and IF - i felt alot happier but didn't get a positive........it didn't matter so much anymore.  
the second month we started going to relate and thats amazing now we are communicating fantastically so I don't let things build up anymore.

so ladies hang in there it does get easier.......I am not saying the pain goes aways but it does stop being so dark.  

Good luck all of you and of course me!!!!

love noodles


----------

