# is it normal to feel okay one minute and then angry and distraught the next.



## Ginger Baby

Hi

I was just wondering if anyone on here feels the same as me.  I had my first IVF attempt cancelled due to not producing enough follicles.  Only produced 3 and one was only 8mm in size.  I was totally distraught and on the day that was supposed to me egg collection day they gave me IUI intead.  Already had 3 failed IUI attempts last year so was not expecting it to work.  But I managed to pick myself up and felt okayist.  That was until yesterday and my  AF came so the IUI did not work.  I thought I would be fine cos I was not expecting it to work but still feel so let down and angry at the world !!  

MY DH keeps saying have a positive mental attitude cos being like this will not help things.  I know hes right but at the moment I can't sleep cos it's on my mind all the time.  We go back to clinic on 26 April and will discuss doing the short protocol.  We did the long protocol first time round.  As anyone had long protocol first and then tried short protocol and had better results with the follicles ?

Just feel so crap that I can't even get off the starting blocks !!  Sorry for the feeling really sorry for myself post.  Its just that I feel I am at the begining of IVF and I just never thought it would be this hard ?  Does it get better ?  Do you get better at dealing with the disappointment ?

Wishing everyone on here all the luck in the world.

Ginger Baby XXX


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## gingerbread latte

Hi Ginger baby,

I am so so sorry to hear your news, and of course it is normal to feel ok about matters one day and completely awful the next. *If you feel it, then it is normal. * You are bound to feeel a whole range of emotions, not least because of the hormones raging around your system, but because you've been dealt a blow. Its a loss, a bereavement and its very hard to maintain a PMA all the time. If you need to have a day where you holler and wail then do so, let it out as much as you feel able to. There's no real way to manage this, everyone is different but you'll find your way and what works best for you.

I don't know if it gets easier, my darling - I am hoping so. Sending you lots of love and hugs


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## beachgirl

Ginger baby   oh hun, it's so hard isn't it trying to stay positive when things don't work..at your follow up review they might give some further indication as to why they need to change to SP..don't worry about feeling down, it's normal


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## Ginger Baby

Thanks for the replies.  Just thought cos I am up and down I might be losing it.  Its good to know that I am not.  I think when AF arrives it's just a constant reminder that it has n't worked that time.  Plus my AF is a meanie, shes  always really painful and heavy (sorry TMI).  Bloody woarst than ever at the moment.

Gingerbread Latte good luck for 25 April.  Hope it all goes well.

Take care everyone

Ginger Baby XXX


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## gingerbread latte

Ginger baby,

You're welcome, take it easy and get a hot water bottle on your tummy. I've got my AF and she's a meanie too!  

Thanks for your thoughts


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi Ginger baby

Hun i hope its normal cause I feel exactly the same, its 3 weeks on for us since our 1 little eggie didn't fertilise and I have been in floods tonight, it doesn't help cause hubby is on late shift and coming home to an empty home is never good for me. Big hugs to you time does heal just deal with each day as it happens good luck in the future xxxxx


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## Ginger Baby

Hi always an Auntie

Thanks for the reply.  So sorry for your little eggie.  Life really sucks sometimes.  Sometimes I feel everyone else has it so easy !!!  I tend to feel woarst at night cos thats when my mind goes into overdrive.

I am back at work tomorrow so not looking forward to that cos I work in a big place and every where I turn there are pregnant people.  Theres a guy on my team whos partner has just had a baby.  Hes really nice guy.  Hes off at the mo on paternity leave but I am dreading him coming in with the baby.  I hope he doesn't drop in unannouced. I hope he tells us when hes coming in so if I am having one of my feel sorry for myself days I can avoid him.  I feel bad that I may have to avoid him but maybe he won't come in for a another week or so and I might be feeling a little better.

U take care.  My heart goes out to hun cos you have been though alot.

Ginger Baby xx


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## butsy

HI Gingerbaby,

any feelings are absolutely normal at the moment - wouldn't be right if you just sailed through it really!  I have months when I'm fine and others when I'm all over the place (the rage seems to be the most unpredictable).  I find mindfulness a really useful concept (idea borrowed from buddhism and used to make psychological therapy more interesting/meaningful (I am a therapist!)) - basically its all about accepting things as they are, rather than fighting, avoiding or striving.  This includes accepting your feelings of loss, anger, fear etc... as normal reactions to events in the world that you cannot control, without judging them or yourself.  Might sound a bit odd and 'hippyish' but its really helped me come to terms with our situation.

As for long vs short protocol - it's hard to say as I think everyone is different.  However, my friend had long protocol first and didn't get any eggs, then had short and got 5.  she went into labour today.

hope that helps!

xx


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## avjmh

Hi,
I had a BFN on Friday (9th) and have been up and down every since, so I reckon we are both experiencing normal responses...phew!   It was our first IVF cycle but we can't really afford to do it again, so this all seems so final! I am racking my brains on where I can get the money to try again.  Like someone said, it's not helped when AF comes along and adds insult to injury by being painful!
It's just nice to not feel quite so alone by coming on here and seeing that others are going through the same thing, although obviously it would be nice if none of us were!!
Take care everyone and good luck for next time! Things can only get better.... 
A xxx


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## Ginger Baby

Thanks for all the replies.  I am feeling a little bit better today cos AF is easing off a bit.  Like had a crap day on Thursday at work cos they refused my application for paid special leave and I had went to the union about it.  Union took 3 weeks to get back to me and on Thursday told me there was nothing they could do.  It sucks cos I live in a rural area so even the appointments for scans I have to take the full day off work to get there.  I am sure alot of people on here are in the same situation.

Like work did give me 5 days paid special leave for IUI last year so mustn't grumble.  But then again I also found out that someone at work got 10 days paid special leave to play in a golf tournament so obviously golf is more important than IVF.  I also found out if you work at Tesco they give you 5 days paid special leave if you work full time and you are allowed it for 3 attempts so 15 days paid special leave in total.

But at least they are okay letting me have the time off using my own annual leave and have offerred that I can have 5 days unpaid leave but not sure if I can afford that, will have to wait and see how it goes on 26 April and work out how many days I will need for appointments and if it is affordable.

Take care everyone.  Big hugs    
Ginger Baby


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