# Adoption



## VB (Dec 21, 2004)

Hi girls

Having a 'down' day, we are in limbo with treatment at the moment and it is driving me mad!

I am going to go to the doc next week and ask to be put back on clomid while we are waiting to go for IUI.  Don't know if he will say yes or no - I suspect he will say no as I have already had 6 months.  I haven't said a thing to DH - if he knows I'm on the tablets, he gets stressed and feels he HAS to perform, which leads to a vicious circle of 'wan't to, but can't' - if you know what I mean.  Even if we don't have BMS at the right time, at least I know that if we do at that time, there is more of a chance if I was on the tablets.

Just wanted to ask you all if any of you have gone down the adoption route and what it entails.  I have just been thinking that mentally and physically I have been thu too much and don't know if I can do it anymore.  OK, I realise that adoption isn't by no means easy - but I just think why am I putting my body tru all these drugs/treatments when there are so many children desperate for a home - one that we could provide.  I dunno - maybe I'm wrong.  Yes, I am desperate to carry a child, but there are a lot more children that are desperate.
I just feel that TTC is really pulling DH and me apart - granted it is making us stronger in some ways.  Sometimes we have absolutley nothing to talk about - I need a focus, not a work one, a proper emotional baby one!

Oh, onto something different - well sort off - as I am in 'school' holidays, I'm not really in a routine, just lazin about!!, so my sleep pattern is all over the place - last night, I'm lying wide awake, it's about 1am and suddenly I hear my neighbour and his wife, 'getting to where they wanted to be' if you know what I mean!!!!!!!!!!!! God, they were so loud!!! We live in a small private cul-de-sac, and as it was so hot, everyone had their windows open - everytime I see them today I giggle (plus, part of me wants to smack them, coz I am so jealous that they are having sex for the fun of it - not coz they have to!!)!  I woke DH up to tell him I could hear them sha**in!  He wasn't very amused as the previous night I kept waking him up as a fox was going tru our rubbish, depositing bones all over the pavement - I couldn't get back to sleep as I kept thinking "Oh the shame - what would the neighbours say"  Yep I am truly SAD!
Anyway, the guy is a barber who cuts DH's hair - if only he knew what we heard!!!

Veronica


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## KerryB (Mar 7, 2005)

NO reason why you can't go back on CLomid if you've only done 6 months. Its worth asking about, but maybe tell H thats its just to keep you in working order. Let us know

We have touched on talking about adoption, but at the momnet i don't think DH wants to think that far ahead. I can understand that I suppose, Although I like to have a plan set in my mind that we could follow if it comes to it. A family member is adopted, and I mt thoughts on it have changed completely since I found out not so long ago. Its definitely worth considering I think.

You Lucky bean being off for 6 weeks. My IL is a teacher and so is also enjoying a long break. How     about your neighbours - we dint have that problem as ours are in their 80's, I would be very disturbed to hear them at it!!   

xxx


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## baby maggie (Jul 26, 2005)

Hi Veronica,
(Bit about me);
My name is Natalie I'm 29 ,been ttc 4 years,
Have problems because have PCOS and have had tubal surgery due to blocked and damaged tubes, been in and out of hospital with nasty stomach pains over the last 10 years so...... they finally decided to give me IUI with Clomid last month(which failed).
So....back on again this month, got 6 months of this booked.
DH and I lost a baby 3 years ago due to blighted ovum(real bad time for us).

Anyway, I suppose I'm telling you this cos I can kinda imagine what you and DH are going through.
It does make you strong as a couple but you as a women think about babies 24/7.
He as a man thinks about sex and sport 24/7!!!!! 
Anyway I think your focus should be him and his focus needs to be you and then you both have eachother covered!!!
I realised recently that i am only 29 years old "IF" i do become pregnant i am not gonna have much time for me or DH so......I think poppet we need to start living again, in a land where people go out and socialise enjoy sex and talk about music and food and fashion. COME JOIN ME GIRLFRIEND LETS LIVE A LITTLE!

Your mission for tonight if you choose to accept is to make more noise than your neighbours and give Dh the best night of his life!!!!!

On a serious note, Give the adoption thing some thought next year.
It is truly an amazing thing to do for a child but you haven't given yourself much time yet to conceive naturally (Don't run before you can walk).

Hope if nothing else I made you smile today.
God bless you angel
 Natalie
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## VB (Dec 21, 2004)

Thanks Kerry and Natalie for your kind words xx

I'm a nightmare,all year I have been dying for the Summer holidays, but now they are here and whizzing past, I am too busy moping around to get anything done - my average day is:
* starts with a crap nights sleep - where i do too much thinking and get myself worked up
* get up at 7.30am - watch a bit of telly
* go to Tesco to get the tea
* have a midday nap - which takes me til about 2pm
* read book/more telly
* another nap etc etc and on it goes til DH gets home and I do tea

Yep - I know it sounds nice - but I have SOOO much to do  - I don't want to waste this time - I want to paint my kitcken, tidy the garage, do all the ironing, clean out cupboards etc etc (sad I know!).  I feel like I have no energy.  Need to kick my ass into gear!!! 

Natalie - liked your comment about keeping the neighbours up!!    DH is off tomorrow - so theres a good chance of a bit of 'how's your father'!!!!

Kerry - imagine - in your 80's - uuuggghhh!!!  

thanks girls 
Veronica


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## KerryB (Mar 7, 2005)

VB - Why don't you try setting yourself litlte targets to get the jobs done you want to. I find that helps, we are renovating the house we bought last Nov and I find it really hard to get motivated sometimes. Your day does sound idylic, but I know how boring it can get. I was unemployed for 3 months a few years ago, and got into a pickle cos I found it hard to get anything done, despite being at home all day! I think you should go for Natalie's challenge this evening, just for fun! It will probably also give you a good nights sleep afterwards too     

Natalie - Sorry to hear about your loss hun. Glad to hear that you and DH are getting on with things though. Live is for living, yeha 

xx


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## flowerpot (Jan 20, 2005)

hiya veronica - lol at your neighbours    

I've just been given another prescription for 6 more months of clomid to take me upto 12 months, so they should give it you.

I think there is an adoption forum on here?

loads of love xxx


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## baby maggie (Jul 26, 2005)

nice to meet you all 
Im gonna take your advice  kerryb,and do a job a day
I have 0 motivation at mo + im gonna jump DH tonight as well (just so that Veronica is not on her own .


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## VB (Dec 21, 2004)

Yay Natalie - that's the spirit!       - 

KerryB - Fab advice! - I'm setting myself 2 goals:

1. Jump DH tonight or in morning (that's normally easier when he's hot the whole h**n at dawn thing goin on!!!)
2. Gonna start my ironing tonight - will get AT LEAST all my T-shirts done - I've got zillions - kept buying and buying for holiday - kept forgetting I had bought them!!! 

Flowerpot - thanks for that - never thought at looking on here about adoption -   me!

Veronica


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## KerryB (Mar 7, 2005)

Never heard "Horn at Dawn" beforte, made me giggle! But It is true!!

xxxx


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## VB (Dec 21, 2004)

Well girls I achieved one of my targets - I did all my ironing.

The DH target turned into a big argument and we haven't really spoken all day - he is doing my head in   .  Things have thawed a little and we went out for lunch (a quiet one!) and went and got some tester pots for the kitchen.  There are about 10 different colours on the wall! Can't seem to get the right one - and why does the colour on the pot never match the paint!  I want a steely grey blue and I keep getting lilac!
Basically I wanted to BMS, he didn't, said I might get a bit in the morning - chance would be a fine thing!  We've had sex twice in the last 6 - I kid you not - 6 weeks!  So it turned into a bit argument about his lack of committment to wanting a baby - I know he is desperate for a child - but he is so lazy!

Have we got some new smily's??  I've never seen this one b4!    But I like it!!
Plus what is the bubble thing by our name?  Is it linked to this smily??!!

Veronica


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## KerryB (Mar 7, 2005)

Hi VB,

If you ahve anyhting that is the colour you are looking for - a piece of paper, clothing, anything - take it into B&Q or similar and get them to mix it for you. You guarteed that colour then. Just a thought.

Hope you managae to chivvy DH up a bit. I know some of the girls have bought new undies and nighties to up the excitement a little - god knows we all need help sometimes!

xxx


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## VB (Dec 21, 2004)

Kerry, thanks for that - we have decided a colour and I went and got it today - it took me an hour!!  I thought I remembered the name but could I find it  Could I hell!!!  had to go to the information desk and get someone to help me - where I eventually found it, I couldn't even remember going down that isle - it was were they had all the shades of white paint!!  Weird.

As for DH, well, I don't know - we spent a lovely day with his family yesterday, but by the time we drove home, he wasn't speaking to me!!  Went to bed early as well!  I got up at 7am this morning and had a bath, he came in b4 he went to work and said - "can we have a good week" - I responded by saying it takes 2 - this set him off again by saying he's done nothing wrong!  Got a text a little while ago saying he loves me.  Dunno - things are very strained   . I've told him I want to go for IUI ASAP - its like we need a focus , ttc is tearing us apart.

v


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## KerryB (Mar 7, 2005)

Why wasn't he speaking to you on the way home?? I hate it when that happens. He sounds like my DH saying "Can we have a nice week"! He's says that to me all the time, like can we please not fight and have a nice weekend, like all I want to do is argue! we have longstanding "issues" about football and his friends - how are mostly single - that always seem to come out at weekends! Anyway, Maybe you could just sit and talk and listen to each other. It sounds really silly, but sometimes it does help to just get everything out, even nasty stuff. Then the air is clear and you can start again. If your TTC you don't need the stress hun!

Hope you get sorted.
xxx


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## VB (Dec 21, 2004)

Basically we have just come back from a 2 week holiday and will be paying it off for the next 6 months!!!  Although we had a reasonably good time - I couldn't wait to have my own space when I got home.  Since we have been home, things have been quite unsteady - so when he said 'lets have a weekend away'  - alarm bells went off and I could tell it would end in disaster.  plus, I just couldn't be bothered sitting in a car all day to get there!  So he started on me saying 'I was ungrateful and I am always saying he doesn't make an effort and here he is making an effort and I turn it down BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!!!

I would just rather spend the time at home getting things done like painting my kitchen (did it today!!! well, half of it!)  and basically tying up any loose ends before I go back to work next week.  I'm a teacher and am taking on the role as year group leader as well, this combined with the whole team being new - 1 has just qualified, plus moving classrooms...  I know that the term ahead is going to be really manic, so house wise I want to get everything sorted b4 I go back, I have also been in school sorting things out.

I would rather wait til Oct/Nov time to go away for a weekend - I know i will be ready for it by then!!!

Anyway - things seem a little better - he started the painting last night - doing all the edges - thats his way of saying 'I've been a pric*'!!  He does SFA around the house!

Veronica


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## KerryB (Mar 7, 2005)

It's a no win situation sometimes isn't it! I think waiting for your weekend away would be nice, then you'll really appreciate, especially if you've just been away anyway and things are a bit rocky. 

My Dh does similar things, he'll be really nice when he knows he's in the wrong. But last night when I was feeling ill he wasn't very comforting at all! Bloody men!

K
xx


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## VB (Dec 21, 2004)

Hi Kerry, hope you are feeling better today.

Typical men - we feel poorly and they give us no sympathy, THEY feel poorly and its like the world has to stop to tend to their needs!!

Veronica


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## flowerpot (Jan 20, 2005)

Too right, its the old story, they get a cold and its the flu, we get a cold and we have a little snivel!!


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## KerryB (Mar 7, 2005)

Exactly! Men can't be ill, they have to be dying!

xx


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