# early menopause age 29... First time IVF in Barcelona



## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Just wanted to say hi to everyone. I'm new to FF and also new to IVF. 
DH and I have just had our first visit to the IM clinic in Barcelona for IVF with egg donation. I am 29 and had an early menopauseat 24. (aggressive chemo used to treat Lupus)
We've opted for Barcelona as we are apparently not entitled to IVF on the NHS in the UK as DH has a child from a pre marriage.
I am Indian and DH is Scottish, so Barcelona seemed to be a sensible option RE appropriate donor and w/list!!
Its our first time with IVF and if I'm honest I'm a little daunted and petrified of a negative outcome!
Anyone else having egg donation in Barcelona?
What about immune issues and success stories?
How do people handle all this around existing/step kids?
Sooo many issues!!


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## louise36 (May 18, 2010)

Hi there!

Hope youre ok and good news about your trip to Barcelona. Its all a bit scarey isnt it and although I havent had an early menopause I am low fertility (amh 3.2) and we have just completed our second unsucessful IVF cycle and after our first failed attempt the Dr suggested DE if we failed again. My cousin went to Barcelona last year and is now the proud mother of twin boys on her first attempt so it can be done!

DH and I have accepted that DE maybe the best/only chance we have of starting a family and as time has gone on with bad news after bad news it does seem like a light at the end of the tunnel.  We are lucky that we have the option its just a shame that Britain is living in the dark ages with regards to DE. I take it that whoever decided to take away the anoniminity (prob spelt wrong sorry!) has never found themselves in our situation.

Im not sure about immune systems etc but the success rates are far higher than own egg IVF. They should also guarantee a number of embyros I think? And freeze any if a second attempt is needed?

When do you go back? What did you have to do on your first visit? Have you had to wait? So many questions sorry!

Zx


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Hi z,
Sorry to hear you're in similar shoes! Not fun is it.... amazing when everyone else around us keeps getting preggars just like that!!
First visit was quite positive... we didn't even bother with considering uk for all this... nightmare situation with de w/lists here!
We arranged our first appt in May and had it last weekend, although we waited out of choice that long as we got married in June!
There is no wait as such for the donor...
We both had our blood tests done in the uk for HIV ETC AND our blood groups and took the results with us for our first visit.
On arrival, DH was taken off to give his sample  
We met with the doctor who went through our resutls and medical, listed our physical charectaristics and took a photo of us to help him match us.
I then had a gynae exam via vaginal u/s and he did a mock transfer. (all was fine)
They examined DH sample (all is fine with that)
We've been given all the drugs we will need for the cycle, and I start the first lot in 2 weeks time (when af is due)... thats just the contraceptive until donor is ready. 
Should be back for et anytime 6-8 weeks after starting the contraceptive.... EEEEK
Dreading the 2ww thing.
Are u thinking of heading abroad?


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Hello and  to Fertility Friends

Please have a good look around the site and feel free to post in any area, and make yourself at home. There are many who are on their TTC journey, and others who have been fortunate to have little ones with assistance. You will soon discover that our members are very encouraging of one another and offering advice or just simple hugs. There's a vast amount of information here for everyone, so start reading, posting and getting to know others. You will make some great friends too, lots of members often have meet ups locally too, for chats, coffee, shopping or even nights out! You can share conversations with one another freely, simply because we all understand each other. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what this journey entails and the emotions that go with it. That's where we come in!

Here are some links which you should find really useful at the moment&#8230;&#8230;

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Complimentary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ *CLICK HERE 

*Donor sperm/eggs ~ *CLICK HERE

Boards for Spain http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=356.0

Chatter thread 'Any Indians out there' ... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=245028.0

*A Rough Guide To IVF ~*CLICK HERE

*Questions for your first cycle consultation ~ (use the ones that apply) *CLICK HERE

*IVF General ~ *CLICK HERE
(Ask any general IVF questions here  )

*Treatment Outside The UK ~ *  CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. It's a small world!

Wishing you lots of luck    and 
Keep in touch
Ceri xx

PS I have also sent you a pm (private message)


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## Surfergirl (Apr 30, 2010)

Hello everyone,

I have been reading all your posts with interest. I am 35 and was diagnosed with POF last year, along with other autoimmune issues. To be honest it was all a bit of a shock and took a while to digest as I have always been fit and healthy. We decided to go straight down the donor egg route (DH also has a daughter from previous marriage) so am unable to get any NHS funded treatment.

We have had one cycle of DEIVF at the Institut Marques but unfortunately it didn't work. Since then I have had a hysteroscopy and doppler scan and they can find nothing wrong but have discovered issues with DH's swimmers!! Hopefully this can be resolved and we are due to go out again in early Nov. This time they are going to use IMSI to choose the best, most normal looking swimmers. In terms of immune issues, I have autoimmune thyroiditis and was prescribed steroids for ten days around the time of the ET.

I have to say that we have found IM to be great and have also had loads of support from our GP and local Fertility Unit here, which all helps. It is all really daunting but I am learning (slowly!) to take one step at a time and try to remain positive. The biggest pressure I feel is the financial one because this treatment is certainly not cheap!!

Good luck to everyone on here who is going through treatment at the moment and fingers crossed xx


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Hiya and Welcome to you too Surfergirl 

These links will help you find your way around the site ...

POF ... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=112.0
Male Factors ... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=35.0
Donor Eggs?Sperm ... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=64.0
Spain Board ... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=356.0
ICSI ... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=31.0

Wishing you lots of luck xx


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Hi everyone!
Surfergirl.., sorry to hear you've had immune issues too! It doesn't half throw a spanner in the works eh?! 
I like you have been advised also to try steroids and also baby aspirin daily. I'm due to go back anytime in the next 10 days for ET. Just had my lining scan today. Really nervous! 
As you say... It's so expensive and at the same time I don't want to hope for it to work first time as these things rarely do! 
Really hope things work better for you this time round! Keep me posted! Fingers crossed! 
Xx


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## Surfergirl (Apr 30, 2010)

Thannks jimjam. Our situation is so similar to yours!

I have my lining scan today so will probably be going to Barcelona in the next couple of weeks too. Am really nervous now because it's all becoming real again. We may be out there at roughly the same time!!

Good luck. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you xx


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Surfergirl,

Hope your lining scan went well! We do seem to be at a similar point in cycle!! Hope you get lots of good quality embies!!
Best of luck!! Keep me posted!

Lots of   positive thoughts for everyone!!!


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## Surfergirl (Apr 30, 2010)

Hi jimjam,

My lining scan went well - 10.9mm triliminar. Better than last time so I'm very pleased. Just waiting for the call from IM.
It's a national holiday in Spain tomorrow apparently so probably won't be for a couple more days at least. I know that we were called out quickly fater the scan last time, but I think that largely depends on the donor!

Good luck to you! Have you found anywhere to stay?

xx


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Hi surfergirl!

Really pleased your lining scan went well! That's great news! We're still waiting for that call! (we're at day 12 today)
Haven't looked at acomodation yet... We stayed at a place called marvi in the universitat area for our first visit, clean, friendly, minutes walk to las ramblas, good location, but very basic, so perhaps not ideal as somewhere to chill out after ET! 
I'm worried as to how it'll be finding somewhere at short notice!
Did u manage to find somewhere at short notice last time?Is there anywhere you'd recommend? (or not recommend?!)


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## Surfergirl (Apr 30, 2010)

jimjam,

We stayed at the Hotel Catalonia Rigoletto (3*) last time we went and I would highly recommend it. It was really clean and comfortable. I personally want somewhere really comfortable for after the ET. It was about a 5-10 min walk from IM and not too far from the Nou Camp football stadium (much to my hubby's delight!!) I used the website hotel.info as you can do a vicinity search and find the hotels close by. The first time we went we booked the Husas Arenas (4*) but were put in their 2* hotel down the road so not impressed and I wouldn't recommend! We still had to pay the 4* price too!!

Not long for either of us now!!


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Blimey, you're right about it being quick!

Thanks for your advice re hotels! Its really helpful to hear where people don't recommend, so we know where to avoid!!

Got the call today, ET is on Saturday..... been sorting out flights and hotel today..... eeek!
Let me know how you get on!
Not long now for you too I'm sure!
Hope it goes well for you this time


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## Surfergirl (Apr 30, 2010)

Good luck!! I will be thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed. Let me know how it goes.
Hopefully I will be out there fairly soon too!

Take care x


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Hi surfergirl,
Hope you've been doing ok? I imaging your ET will be anytime now! Hope it's all going ok. 
We had our ET on sat and it went fine. They transferred 2 embryos. We have 3 frosties and they are still waiting to see how another 3 develop. With this being our first go, not sure what to expect. Had a achy belly and lower back a couple of hours after and have felt much the same since! I'm thinking it's probably the pessaries! 
So hear it is! The 2ww! It's going to drag isn't it! Already getting chubby on the steroids! That bugs me the most as they really give me a moon face! 
I wish u the best of luck for your transfer. Let me know how u get on! 
X


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## Surfergirl (Apr 30, 2010)

Hi jimjam,

Am really glad it went well for you! We were there on Saturday too! Got the call on Thursday and flew out on Friday. Didn't have the ET until yesterday but they wanted to do the IMSI on Sat so required my hubby!! I had two transferred yesterday and have 3 frozen too. We were really glad about that as there were none suitable for freezing when we went the first time.  I know what you mean about the steroids! I find the worse thing is that I could eat half my own body weight in one day!!! The pessaries are horrible and messy!! I did wonder how you were getting on when we were there on Sat. 

Now the two weeks of pure torture for us both!! Stay in touch and fingers crossed xxx


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Hi!

I'm really pleased it went better for you this time in terms of frosties... It's instantly reassurring find out there's another try waiting for us on ice... takes the financial pressure of a bit! Fingers crossed for this time!

2WW started off fine until today... I've got such an achy belly it constantly reminds me of the situation! Pessaries are messy, you're right there! I thought at first I maybe wasn't absorbing them, but I'm hearing that the mess is normal?

I had an email today from them... the remaining embies didn't make it to the deep freeze. I don't mind so much, as we have  in ice... anything else would have been a bonus really.

What's IMSI then? I'm under the assumption thats different to ICSI as the sperm sample is fresh?

How long do you need to stay on the steroids? I'm still not sure how long they will plan to kep me on them! The hunger thing hasn't started yet for me, but going by past experiences with them, that'll soon start! I used to wake up in the middle of the night starving!!! At the time I was on them to control the lupus, and I piled on 3 stone with them! It took a year to shed the weight after I came off, and then I've struggled to keep trim since the menopause started, and have been really conscious of gaining any weight! I think thats why I find the steroids to be the most upsetting thing at the minute! Stashed loads of fresh fruit this time so I can at least try to snack sensibly this time!

Glad you're allright, and hope you manage some time to relax too! Keep well and keep in touch! I've got everything crossed for you

Jimjam x


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## Surfergirl (Apr 30, 2010)

Hi jimjam,

IMSI is like ICSI but under a much higher magnification (x6000) so that they can see the DNA structures in the sperm. They recommended it as my DH was borderline normal on the DNA fragmentation test. Hopefully it did help as we got 100% fertilisation this time. 

I don't have any symptoms yet at all. The one thing I learned from last time is that the pessaries mimic many symptoms of pregnancy and I spent all of my time analyzing the way I was feeling. They are incredibly messy and I was the same as you, concerned that I wasn't absorbing enough. Most of the mess is the shell I think! The other thing they do cause is wind!! (Nice I know!!).

Shame your other embies didn't make it but having frozen ones is a relief, especially financially.

I am on the steroids for a couple of weeks as I have high antibodies to thyroid, although I am producing enough thyroxine. The endocrinologist said that it is a bit like 'friendly fire'. My thyroid is coping ok at the moment but may not always so they keep an eye on it. Other than that I have POF but still have a regular 28 day cycle so haven't hit the menopause just yet. It's just that my ovarian reserve is fairly awful!! 

The hardest thing for me is that exercise is my stress buster and I can't even do that now - no yoga or anything. I'll be climbing the walls but hopefully it will be worth it!

Take care xx


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

The IMSI thing sounds like a really positive step in the right direction for you, so thats a great start!
Yep... I'm getting the 'wind thing' too... lovely! (and the steroids give me nasty belches too...  also lovely!)
You're right about the hormones mimicking symptoms, so I will work hard at ignoring them!!!
It's annoying about the excercise... We're supposed to be going to Center Parcs with friends.... we go every year with them, and every year its the same.... and this year I have to come up with an excuse for 'no sports, no sauna, no hot tub, no booze and sudden weight gain!' No one knows we've had IVF. They'll all assume I'm pregnant (so ironic when we are desperately trying to be!)

keep in touch and take care xx


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## Surfergirl (Apr 30, 2010)

Hi jimjam,

How are you feeling now? I don't really feel anything much at the moment, other than hungry or windy!!!
I keep thinking it means it hasn't worked but I know it's too early to say really. 
Have just been shopping with my DH and bumped into my Consultant here who is absolutely lovely. She said hello 
to me and I didn't expect it so I went bright red and lost all power of speech!! I finally mananged to say Hi and my DH was
wetting himself laughing at me!! It was really embarrassing but I all could think was that every time I see her she either inspects or
scans my nether region!! 

Hope all ok with you. Only a week or so to go for you before the test now?

Take care xx


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## jimjam183 (Sep 21, 2010)

Hi Surfergirl!

Hope you're ok. I know what u mean about windy! Horrible at night! I think we'll suffer more from it because of the steroids too!!

Don't worry about the "no symptoms" thing.... Way too early, and I'm hearing about lots of bfp without symptoms!

Some days my belly has felt tight and crampy, and (.)(.) sore and heavy, and I panick thinking I'm rejecting the embies,  some days, nothing, and then I panick that there's nothing going on in there! 

Come Thurs/Fri I went all cold and shivery. Just couldn't warm up!  Yesterday I woke up with what felt like a full blown cold! Today no sign of cold/flu. Very weird!

The clinic in Spain said it was ok to have a gentle massage, so I did today! It was great! However now I'm Reading it can cause probs in first trimester! Panick again!!! So silly I know!!

LOL! U made me chuckle about bumping into your consultant! I'd have been the same!!!

It's a long wait isn't it! 1 week down! 1 to go! Hope you're keeping busy! 

Fingers are crossed for u!

Jimjam x


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## Surfergirl (Apr 30, 2010)

Hi jimjam,

Glad you are feeling better. It is strange about the cold/flu symptoms. It's so frustrating having to wait like this, isn't it? It's like a form of torture!!
I have had some crampy tightness too, but other than that nothing really.

I have just spoken to my friend who has 1 year old twins through IVF and she said that she felt nothing at all during the 2WW and would have put money on it not having worked. So it just shows that you can't really tell I suppose!!

I checked my stuff from IM yesterday and am testing on 22nd Nov too. I thought it was 15 days last time. That may just be because they prefer you
not to test on a Sunday though.

I think a massage is just the thing to help relax. There are so many things that you should and shouldn't do, it's hard to sift out fact from fiction. 
I read yesterday that stress helps IVF. Great!! If only I'd known. I wouldn't have taken time off work!! When we went for the transfer I spoke to Dr Walker on the phone. She wasn't there because she works from home a couple of days. I asked her about caffeine as I like a nice cup of tea. I probably only drink one or two cups a day and don't drink coffee at all. Dr Walker said that it is fine in moderation. She then asked how much alcohol I drink so I told her that I've probably drunk no more than 3 glasses of wine in the last six months. She laughed and told me not to overdo it!! It's great to have a Dr that's so down to earth and easygoing!

Anyway, I'm wittering again!

Take care xx


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Hi Ladies, I'm sorry but I'm going to lock this thread now, as this area has a fast turnover of newbies joining, so please can I suggest the Cycle buddies or the Ladies in waiting threads? This way you can meet others at the same point in treatment too.

Oct/Nov cycle buddies ... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=50.0
Ladies in waiting ... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=27.0

Maybe you could pm each other and arrange to meet up in cycle buddies or in the chat room too 

Wishing you both lots of luck for your Official Tests xx


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