# New girl!



## Just a girl (Mar 6, 2008)

Hi all,
New and a little bit nervous girl here ,

Finally joined after initially looking at the site well over a year ago and deciding it wasn't for me as I was still optimistic then that it was just gonna naturally occur, after all I have so many well meaning friends/family/acquaintances/nurse type people _'expertly'_ advising me to 'relax and it will just happen!!!!!!' how much do I hate that comment lol!
We have both had numerous tests that haven't given us any answers other then being advised by 'fertility man' to consider embarking on treatment and he also informed us that with me at the age of nearly 29years old, I'm 7 years too young for any treatment on the NHS!

So we're presently considering what treatment to go for - IUI or IVF (whilst still kinda hoping that at some point we will just relax so that it'll happen), and that if we do go down the IVF route, to donate or not to donate? Any advice/words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated

Thanks for reading x


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## welshliz (Jun 30, 2007)

Hi
This fertility man has got it wrong, you can't have any treatment on NHS if you are over 38 and already have children
And don't it get right on your nerves when people tell you have a bottle of wine ,get drunk and you will get pregnant,i think these people are a bit thick.
They obviously don't know about reproduction!
Good luck


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## Ginger Fox (Feb 6, 2008)

Hi New Girl

7 years too young for NHS treatment? WRONG. I'm 31 and currently on the NHS waiting list for free IVF with ICSI but a 2 year wait for our free go. We are also willing to pay for treatment so on a 6 month waiting list too but still NHS treatment, not private.

Think you need a new 'fertility man'.

Good luck. You'll find lots of advice on here. I live in Leeds and am being treated at LGI so pop over to 
http://www.lacu-patient2patient.org.uk/yabb/YaBB.pl if you're local.



/links


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## Just a girl (Mar 6, 2008)

Ok really confused now, as I saw the referral form at our appointment that said I had to be over 36 years of age! Can criteria vary from each NHS locality? Im in Southampton?


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## welshliz (Jun 30, 2007)

hi
Just reading my HFEA fertility guide and it says the NHS aims to offer women between the ages of 23 and 39 one free NHS ivf cycle,
assuming you meet the criteria
Some criteria are set out in the NICE fertility guidlines www.nice.org.uk.
The NICE guidelines applies to england and wales only
You can also contact your primary care trust(england) Local health board (wales) and ask for details about funding and who is eligable x


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## EJ_wales (Mar 8, 2007)

HI,

Everywhere is different and it might be that your PCT has a lower (as well as an upper age limit) I know there are other girls on here in the same boat and i'm sure if you posted about ti on the peer support thread lots of other girls would be in the same boat!

I'm in Wales so there is no lower age limit (i was 27 when put on list) but we obnly get 1 free go!!

It really is a postcode lottery out there - damn it!!


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## emsy25 (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,

Just wanted to say hello and welcome.

Emma
x x x x


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello Just a girl, welcome to Fertility Friends. 

Oh I think you have hit the nail on the head with the "Just relax" comment. It's very frustrating, especially when you have been tryign for a while.

I am glad that you finally decided to join FF. It can and will offer you invaulable supoprt going forwards, whatever treatment you decide to do.

The information you have been given about your PCT's tretament crieteria may well be true but, you should double check by contacting them directly because, sometimes, the info the GPs, nurses and even fertility consultants give you is not necessarily up to date and the criterias do change. Although, according to the NICE guidelines, we are all supposed to be entitled to one NHS funded cycle, the reality is that the funding just doesn't exist to support this so PCTs impose their own qualification criterias that you must mee, supposedly to help prioritise treatment to those who need it most. In essence you often find you have to jump through all the right hoops (and live in the right area) to be one of the lucky ones. 
If you are not prepared to wait 7 years to just go on the waiting list (and bear in mind that might just be to be put on the list, never mind another wait of possibly up to 2 years to start tretament) and want to go the IVF route, then egg share is a very feasible option for you, given your age. It's certainly worth looking in to if you want to reduce the cost of treatment and help others at the same time. I will leave you a link below along with some other links you might like to check out while you are here:

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations and FF slang) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*IUI ~*CLICK HERE

*IVF General ~ *CLICK HERE

*Questions for your first cycle consultation ~ (use the ones that apply) *CLICK HERE

*Egg Share ~ *CLICK HERE

And don't forget to have a bit of fun while you are on FF and check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area:

*Girl & Boy talk - Community & Fun Board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

Wishing you lots of luck! 

C~x


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## Just a girl (Mar 6, 2008)

Thank you all for the warm welcome, your knowledge, comments and bits of advice that haven't left me wanting to scream or hurt the person delivering the recently referred to little gem of 'Relax and ...............' or the ultra condescending 'what are you worried for your only 28, you've got plenty of time!!!!!'   
I'm thinking of printing up some Tshirts saying "If you tell me to just relax, be prepared to be slapped!' or something to that effect, I may make a fortune if I advertise them on here 

Thanks again, I'm glad I finally joined, 

Oh and very cute baby pics x


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi just a girl and welcome to the site 

You have come to a fantastic place full of advice and support.

Im sorry to hear of your problems trying for a baby and wish you loads of luck with the future.

Kate xx​


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Hello justagirl

Welcome to ff.
It IS very confusing sometimes how the different PCT's apply the fertility guidelines.

Good luck

Love
Emma x


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