# Little bit confused - well maybe a lot



## Twopence (Dec 14, 2008)

Hi there

Not really sure what I want to write so I hope it comes out making sense.

I am 33 yo and married to my fantastic DH, 31. He is Jewish and I have always considered myself to be an atheist. 

I hate to admit that at my previous job I was rather dismissive of a person who is now a very good friend of mine and who is very religious. She is a Christian and born in Ghana. However, towards the end of that employment I began to listen to what she said to me and took some comfort in the strength of her belief when she reached out to me. It was at this time we realised that we had IF issues and she has always told me that God would listen and make everything OK.

I recently had a massive op and found myself praying and seeking comfort from my friend and her belief and how she was sure all would be well. Needless to say, all is well now apart from a few niggles but I am sure these will go.

Last Sunday DH and I were invited to her daughters christening. The 'church' was in London and was a room rented from a synagogue. It was the International group of something (Sorry I really cant remember).

Anyhow, the point is that I was really moved by what was said and was reduced to tears. Some of the preaching was so fantastic I was laughing and some was so poignant people must have thought I was having a breakdown!! The bishop took me to the front and prayed for me and I really feel that my prayers have been answered. In between my friend telling me she would ask him to pray and the service a miracle happened and I am sure this had something to do with it.

I have found myself continuing to pray and had another prayer answered this week. Thing is, I am not really sure what God I am praying to or who is answering me. 

I don't know where to turn and what to do next.

Do you think it is OK for me to carry on with my prayers at home or do I need to find somewhere to go and fit in so to speak?

I look forward to hearing from you all

xx


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## skybluesarah (Nov 15, 2006)

Hi,

It sounds like God has really touched you, which as you have found out can be an incredible experience.  As for what God you are praying to - even when you have a "set" religion it can be almost impossible to get an idea of God.  It sounds to me like you're on a pretty good track to knowing what He means to you.

It's entirely up to you what you do next - if you don't feel ready to go to a church, there's nothing to say you can't keep talking to God and listening to him yourself, and talking to friends too if needed.

A word of caution on the church - if it is called the International Church/Churches of Christ (I can't remember which and please forgive me if I have unintentionally said something bad about an above board church), a lot of people have had very bad experiences with them, me included.  Some churches sadly prey on vulnerable people and do not like it if you try to leave once you've joined.


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## Twopence (Dec 14, 2008)

Hi there

thank you for your words. it really helped. I think i will carry on as I am see where He leads me. I dont think I will be going back to that church to be honest. It was a great eye opener but apart from anything it is too far from home!! I didnt feel any bad vibes but thank you for the warning. 

I am still feeling almost like we have been granted a miracle. I told DH today that I have been praying every day and he seemed surprised - but not as surprised as I thought he would be. I think he also finds comfort even though we are both in theory looking at religion differently (him being Jewish and me a Christian). I have agreed to go to synagogue with him soon and he is going to ask the Rabbi to pray for us. His religion seems to be more a way of life than anything else.

Anyhow, thanks for your reply, i really appreciate it.

Shrimper xx

PS Have I seen you around the endo board before?


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## skybluesarah (Nov 15, 2006)

That sounds great, I'm so pleased for you and really glad you are able to share this with your husband.  I'll be thinking of you and praying for you.

Yes, I was around on the endo board..I had my endo cut out in Feb and conceived that same cycle, and am now 16 weeks pregnant...miracles do happen!


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## Twopence (Dec 14, 2008)

Thanks you Sarah, I really appreciate that. And I will also pray for you and your miracle baby! Congrats on your BFP, such fantastic news

xx


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## Lucky1968 (Jul 12, 2007)

I go to a C of E Church for convenience and upbringing as much as anything and frequently the things said there make a lot of sense and even move me, sometimes I think that the things said are nonsense.  For me GOD whatever he/it is, is so beyond human comprehension that it makes me laugh when Religious people and Leaders claim to know his will or speak for him, or worse when religious fanatics claim to kill or hate for him.  It's a bit like the worms in my garden comprehending why I would want to do a sudoku puzzle.

If God has touched you, treasure it.  You don't need to identify yourself with any group, cross yourself in a certain way, eat fish on certain days, cover your head or only eat blessed meat all this is about human attemtps to impose control and culture it's got nothing to do with God and isn't important.  Everybodys' relationship with God is unique and personal (even athiests) you don't need anyone or anything else to interpret it for you. An omnipitent being doesn't need a translator.  However, if you want fellowship to discuss and share yours and other peoples experiences of God past and present you could choose any/all organised religions.  It's not as though it's like football teams and if you support Man United you couldn't possibley find anything to appreciate in Chelsea.

Sorry I've ranted on abit, but in short I'd suggest you simply enjoy your relationship with GOD and do whatever feels right for you.


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## Guest (Aug 18, 2009)

I don't think you should feel the need to 'box' yourself. I was brought up C of E but now consider myself to be agnostic. DP is irish catholic and the fact that I am not has caused some problems with her family but I think that is also because of the significant political/religious history between the irish and the english. Recently DP's granny was told about the existance of me and our son and she was more upset that I was not catholic than the fact that I was not a man! I have this underlying loathing of religion because of all the social problems it can cause but I think it is wonderful that you are gaining such support and joy from your new found faith. Sometimes I wish I could have that experience. Hold on to that tightly and 'talk' to God in a way that suits you and I hope your prayers get answered xx


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## Twopence (Dec 14, 2008)

Thank you each. You both make alot of sense xx


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