# Failed IVF now failed IVF using donor egg



## Rae D (Jun 17, 2014)

Hi, I really could do with some advise. I feel that I may have been conned at the fertility clinic that I use(d)! 
I decided to go to a fertility clinic after been married for over 20years, I had had 4 miscarrages. I started at 42 as I had to wait 5 years after been treated for a form of uterus cancer. My first attempt at IVF was with my own eggs. They retrieved 10, 6 were mature and only 1 and a fragmented other made it to day 3. I know the chances were slim but went for it and I did not get pregnant. I then chose to use a donor. I was told that my chances would be much better as the donor would be young. I thought that it would have taken a while to find a donor as I am fair skinned, blond and blue eyes. I live in Portugal where the populous is mainly olive skinned with brown eyes and hair. To my suprise the following month I was prepared as they had a donor! I wonder if the fact that my husband is Portuguese that they used just anyone as they could blame it on his genetics and who would know. When my husband went to the clinic to provide him specimen we were informed that only 8 eggs had been retrieved, 5 were mature. On day 3 only 2 eggs had survived and were transferred. I then went on the forums (outside of Portugal) to get an opinion whether this was normal. I was surprised to read that nearly all donors have 20+ eggs retrieved, those couples that received only have 8 eggs are those who are donor sharing. This was never discussed with us. I just need feedback from others to put my mind at rest. 
The stress and emotional rollercoaster we go through, pumping hormones into us, which I, like many I expect, become unbearable. It is like 3 weeks of PMT´s which makes even the loving husband plot our murder, the two week wait after the transfer is the longest 14 days ever.......... then a negative bloodtest. The idea that I was conned is like being kicked when your already down


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## m222soo (Mar 7, 2012)

I had 2 IVF using own eggs getting 18 eggs the first time and 10 the second at 42, the third time I used DE and the clinic tried to tell me that the 4 eggs that I received from my much younger donor was 'normal' - clearly they were banking eggs at my expense although prooving this  is a different matter....


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## Rae D (Jun 17, 2014)

m222soo, I'm so sorry to hear that, although comforted.
It is infuriating, professional ethics should now allow them to do this, but we are no-one to them. It is our dreams and their money making schemes


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## bombsh3ll (Apr 19, 2012)

Hi Ladies,

I am sorry you have had bad experiences with DEIVF. If this is any reassurance in case you are thinking of trying again, I felt similarly disappointed when my donor cycle obtained only 8 eggs, compared to the 19 retrieved from my OE cycle. 

My clinic in Spain explained to me however that they use a milder stimulation with the goal of obtaining a few good quality eggs rather than masses of eggs with reduced quality which is the consequence of stimulating too aggressively. A gentler stimulation is also much safer for the donor, and as someone who has suffered OHSS twice, the second time severely, I would not have wanted my donor's health put at risk the same way mine was by cavalier prescribing of high dose gonadotropins.

Of my 8 donor eggs, 6 were mature and only 3 fertilized and developed (with ICSI), and by day 3 only two embryos were of good quality, but one of them became my little girl. I would talk to your next clinic about the type of stimulation they use because they may genuinely be well intentioned in the less is more approach.

Best wishes,

B xxx


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## m222soo (Mar 7, 2012)

Unfortunately I now have no faith whatsoever in the clinic, the first donor we had via them had no eggs, I had a feeling something was not right as she was on stimms for twice the amount of time I had been( and I had been monitored closely on low dose due to ohss concerns) and the clinic kept assuring me all was fine. My husband was at the clinic after she had retrieval and they did not speak to him, instead they called me at work with a small window in which they could defrost some bank eggs and use his sperm that day......we are still waiting on apology almost a year later.  I became physically ill and suffered anxiety attacks after everything and have now decided that adoption is the way forward for us


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## Sassy-lassy (Apr 19, 2012)

I hear what you are saying.  My first DE IVF experience in Spain was less than satisfactory, with not one of the 5x embryos created with DH's sperm surviving the thaw.  There was no acknowledgement of something having gone wrong on the part of the clinic - we simply had to pay for another cycle (they offered a fresh cycle at the cost of a frozen one, but even so, we had only 6x eggs and ended up with only 2x poor quality embryos).  TBH, we felt very uncomfortable and the whole experience was horrid, with zero consideration for even the most basic privacy at the clinic.  Also felt let down by the UK NHS based consultant who worked alongside the clinic.  He did provide feedback, but only when prompted and then grudgingly.  

Pretty dismal all round really.  But what can you do?  You don't have to look far to find stories of similarly brusque treatment and/or strange happenings with eggs and embryos.  We know that infertility treatment doesn't come with a guarantee, but it strikes me that there needs to be better quality assurance of this very tricky and difficult to regulate sector.  And if you don't feel you can trust your clinic then it is time to find a different one.

We changed clinics to Serum in Athens, mainly due to FF ladies' experiences.  Completely different in terms of ethos.  True, we have yet to achieve our BFP, but there is trust, and for us, that, coupled with honest and timely feedback, is crucial.

Don't hold your breath for an apology, but take a deep breath, take your time and be prepared to move somewhere else.  Not all clinics are the same.  Thankfully!!!

Good luck in your journey x


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