# Looking to Start or Going Through Adoption Part 1 2006



## KarenM

New home. Good luck everyone.

Here's the list. I have removed the names of those who have not posted in the last 3 months as it was getting a bit mad to manage. I have saved their details separately though if they decide to rejoin us.

* Post matching *

*Karen *: Approved at panel on 22nd April 2004. First little girl moved in on 8/11/04, second little girl moved in on 9/12/04. Legally adopted 21/10/05

*Ann*: Approved at panel on 4th November 2004. Matched to two girls, who moved in in January 2005. Legally adopted 31st August 2005

*Cindy*: Approved at panel on 27th October 2004. Matched to a little boy who moved in Feb 2005. Legally adopted 21st July 2005.

*Everhopeful*: Approved at panel in 17th Feb 2005, little girl moved in on 23/05/05. Legally adopted 19th December 2005

*Mandy* (MSW): Approved at panel on 3/3/2005, little boy moved in on 10/06/05. Court date to legally adopt Jan 2006.

* Superal* Adopted 3 year old boy 9 years ago and a 9mth old baby girl 4 years ago

* MummietoLottieandLilly* (Lilliana) Adopted 2 girls aged 12 months and 2 years 4 months in May 2005.


* Post Panel/Awaiting Match *

*Nat* (Crazy): Approved at panel in March 2005, now awaiting suitable match.

*Ruth*: Approved at panel on 2/6/2005, now awaiting suitable match. Waiting to hear about a possible match

* LB *: Approved at panel on 15/6/05, now awaiting suitable match.

*Ang* (Molly 2003): Approved at panel August 2005. Matched to a 9 month old girl, waiting for matching panel.

*Kylie* (Boomerang Girl): Approved at panel on 24/11/05, now awaiting suitable match. Waiting to hear about a possible match

*Tracey H*: Approved at panel 23/11/05, now awaiting suitable match

* Val 12 * Approved at panel December 2005, now awaiting suitable match

* Shelly* Approved at panel December 2005, now awaiting suitable match

*Pam (saphy75) * Approved at panel 10/01/06, now awaiting suitable match

* Jude2 * Approved at panel Nov 2005. Matched to a 10 month old baby girl, waiting for matching panel

 * Waiting for Panel Date/Panel Result *

* Momo * Panel 27/03/06


* Home Study/Prep Course *

*Nicky*: Currently doing assessment

* JenniferF* Currently on home study. Panel 6/04/06

* Barbarella * Prep course completed, now on home study

* Magenta * Prep course completed, now on homestudy. Panel 6/4/06?

* Emcon * Currently on home study

* Laine * Interview 11/1/06. Home study Feb/Mar 2006

* Lauren * Currently on home study

* Milk tray * Just swapped LA

* (Gill) gillywilly * Started home study Oct 2005. Prep course Nov 2005

* keli haslem * Currently on home study

* keemjay * Home visit 15/11/05. Prep course Feb 2006

* waiting to be mum * Prep course Nov 2005

* Alex28 * About to start home study

* Lou W * Considering fostering

* Lisaw36 * Prep course 25/1/06

* (Chris) sussexgirl * Prep course Feb 06

* Donna Taylor * Interview 20/1/06. Prep course Feb 06

* Shi * Prep course Jan 06

* Kizzie * Currently on home study


* Initial Stages *

* Cindy * considering adoption

* Jo * Daring to dream

* Lulu/Lou * Considering next steps

* ellepotter * considering adoption

* *Jenny* * Info evening 16/01/06

* herbaltea * Initial interview 30/01/06

* arniegirl * Initial interview 31/01/06

* leanne2005 * Considering Adoption

*EML * Considering Adoption

* nandp * Considering Adoption 

Karen x


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## Boomerang girl

well done again Karen!

Tracey I hope you hear something soon it it so hard to wait!!

Lisa glad you survived the day it is much easier from there on.

EML how frustrating! I'm sorry that has happened.

Ruthie, I COMPLETELY understand about the name thing. Strawberry has the name Iwould have chosen for a daughter and it does make it feel like fate.

Last night felt like it went well, we heard lots about strawberry, got to see pics (she is quite possibly the cutest little one I have ever seen!) at the end of the meeting they even let us keep a photo!
Had to do the house tour etc. Our sw hinted when the other one went to the loo that she (strawberry's sw) "seemed quite happy".  We won't hear till monday if it will go any further- Strawberry's sw needs to go back and speak to her manager and our sw will ring monday about it.  Our sw did tell us though that if it isn't right our papers are going straight bck out- apparently she has been getting phone calls from another sw who has her eye on us for a match so hopefully soon it will happen.

I keep walking past the hallway just so I can look at strawberry's photo again!


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## superal

Hi Kylie

Glad everything went with SW regarding Strawberry, I to am a great believer in fate.

It sounds really really promising for you that Strawberry will become your daughter, I don't think they would have given you a photo of her if they didn't think you were the right match.

Monday will soon be here and then your whole world is going to be turned upside down, all for the best though and it will be so worth it.

Please keep us informed.

Love
Andrea
xx


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## Mummyof2

Kylie - all sounding really good.  Fingers crossed


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## Laine

Hi Everyone,

Karen - Thanks for updating the list  

Kylie - Oooo sounds promising!

Hello to everyone else.

We are in the process of completing essays for our homework.  Other than that nothing else to report.

Laine


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## alex28

Oh Kylie - im so excited for you!!!!!  Cant wait to hear the next bit!!

Nothing to report here, SW has not called again so may call SS if she has not called again by the middle of next week


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## KarenM

Kylie

Can't wait for Monday.  So excited for you.  As Andrea says I doubt they would have given you a photo if they didn't think it was right.  

Have a great weekend looking at her picture.

Karen x


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## everhopeful

Kylie

So pleased for you that the meeting with Strawberry's sw went well.
I remember our meeting, and the two sw's gave each other "the nod" when they thought we weren't looking, and after showing us some photo's, they asked if we'd like to keep one. Our sw said straight after they'd gone, that she was sure they wouldn't have left a photo unless they were happy with us. And she was right!

Enjoy looking at your photo, hopefully you'll get some good news on Monday!

Love e x


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## Boomerang girl

thanks girls.


ever its your story (you have posted it before) that made me have hope when they left the pic. our sw and strawberry's sw had never met before last night. her sw turned up first (probs on the motor way).  She is such a little poppet. We chose which pic- she is stood upin a washing basket looking all defiant.  ful of spirit and cute as punch. It just feels so right for us.  Please God.  xx
  P.S. the beauty of posting on here (an active adoption thread) is that I can ask you all to keep everything crossed... not so productive on the ttc threads..... 


by the way- jenniferf- I have been singing your praises all day to dh- we have been "studying"- in terms of costs, etc. after magenta's post, I remembered your kiddiecare.com mention- it took ages to scroll back and find it but soooo worth it! The buggy I am thinking of (MAclaren quest) is normally 99 quid and they have it for 70!! bargain! dh well impressed! we did some "research" at hlfords too. Am determined to leave the carseat to dh so he can't moan about anything else I decide on. he seems happy with that.

I know it sounds like we are getting carried away- nd maybe we are a bit, but we are not letting ourselves look at anything gender specific, or buy anything at all. just doing "research".

oooh this is murder!


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi Kylie,

you must be so excited! Let us know as soon as you hear anything!......well, I suppose you can let your DH and other family members know first, and maybe your friends.......... but then us!!!  

xxruth


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## kizzie

Kylie - fingers crossed!!  Cant wait to see a message from you  

Kizziex


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## Mummyof2

Kylie - glad to have been of help.  Am keeping fingers and toes crossed for you and dh.


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## Boomerang girl

hooray!  apparently strawberry's social worker was "extremely impressed" and thinks we make a good match!!

so the next step is a meeting with her and the foster parent- either next week or the week after. so so happy!


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi Kylie,

that's brilliant news....congrats! will you wait till its formally matched to go shopping  

xxruth


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## Arniegirl

Hello.
Thanks Karen, for updating the list!Nice to be addded to it! Our initial interview went well and SW is hoping to get us on Prep course for April. Fingers crossed! Forms for references arrived Saturday and CRB check has been sent off.

Good luck everyone!
Arniegirlx


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## Lauren

Congrats Kylie!  Wow how exciting for you and your dh.  Omg I would so be out there shopping for everything by now!  

Hi to everyone else!

Our SW phoned today to arrange our first meeting with us for our HS.  She said she would come and see us in a couple of weeks but I said I didn't really want to wait that long and could she come sooner so shes coming next Thursday 16th!  Going to the Brits the night before so gona have to lay off drinking too much - don't want to give a bad first impression by being a hungover wreck the next day!

Lauren x


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## Boomerang girl

hiya- ruth from what I understand once they have the "matching meeting" and plan to go to panel, they also plan the date to start intros etc, which is normally just days after panel- so we have been given theimpression once they have done the matching meeting and the plan is for panel, as long as there are no big "ifs" (which there are not yet) then it would be safe to start shopping... but that is still about 3 or four week away from what I can gather. I think with paperwork/ panel deadlines we would be looking at panel early april.  We have looked around but Iwouldn't let myself start buying/decorating until after the matching meeting. what did everyone else do?


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## keemjay

ooh kylie, its all so exciting for you..logged on this eve esp to see if there was any news from you  cant really help you with your shopping dilemma, cant wait till i'm in this position...maybe buy a little but not tooo much 
cant wait for the next installment


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## kizzie

Kylie - thats brilliant   
Cant wait to hear more !!
Kizziex


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## Laine

Fabby news Kylie xx


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## superal

Hi Kylie

What exciting and wonderfull news, it looks like all systems go for you & your DH & this will encourage people to know that dreams can come true, thankyou for sharing this wonderful news with us all.

On the decorating & buying front, we knew we were the only couple going to matching panel for our DS, matching panel was just a formality, so we decorated his room blue & added matching curtains &  bedspread, blue with cars on, it was lovely! 

We waited to see what we would require reference equipment, with him being nearly 4 it wasn't as bad shopping for him as for a baby, with a baby you need a pram, cot & highchair + a car seat just as basics.  With DS it was just a case of buying him a car seat, which in the end SS paid for, you want to enquire if you will be given a moving in grant.

If you are the only couple going to panel, which it sounds like you are, then I would decorate now, you'll have NO time once you start introductions, trust me on that one!!

You can ask her SW & FM what things you may need & they should help you make up a list.  

I wish you lots of luck & hope the days fly by until you meet YOUR daughter.

Love
Andrea
xx


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## Barbarella

Hello Everyone

Gosh, it's been so long since I've been here, I expect you've all forgotten me. 

After we got back from our hols in Egypt (seems like months ago now) a few weeks ago, the PC died, so we had to buy a new one.  We lost everything, documents, email addresses, the lot (note to self... back up everything as you go..).  Anyway, I've only just managed to get back into FF now.  I've also started a new job (temporary to save up for the little one(s)) so it's all been hectic.

Anyway, adoption news... our home study is going so well... we are way ahead of schedule and have a panel date already...27th April...!!!  OMG !!!  We are so excited.  We had a particularly heavy session the other day (all about what the poor children have been through and what we are prepared to take on... it was so draining) and she said we were doing so well, it might even be earlier than 27 April...!!!  We have another session with her this Weds, and that may be the last one.

Managed to get a friend to get hold of ex-dh... as he wasn't replying to the reference.  I thought it would be a case of "well we're tried, so be it"... but oh no... they really do want to get in touch don't they.  Anyway, luckily, he's still in the vicinity and the reference had followed his address trail and finally got to him.  He's going to send it back, so that's good.  All CRB and medical checks are in...(bad time to be weighed after Xmas AND a holiday!!!).

So, that's us.

Kylie... am so excited reading your news.. I'm amazed that her name is Strawberry.. how wonderful.  Sounds like your dreams will come true... and it fills me with such hope that it will be us soon as well.  Well done you.

Anyway, I will have to update on everyone's whereabouts... but best of luck to everyone.

Love C xx


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## superal

Just wanted to say welcome Barbarella, we haven't forgotten who you are & its nice to hear where your up to.

As you can see Kylie has some wonderfull news about her daughter, fingers crossed, she nicknamed her Strawberry as obviously you can't print her real name, we all think it's a cool idea to give your potential little ones a nick name.

Welcome back!

Love
Andrea
xx


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## naoise

Hi I just wanted to pop on and wish Kylie all the very best, you're emotions must be all over the place, I am soo happy for you both, I hope you're first meeting goes well as I am sure it will.
Hello to everybody else just watched the first episode of the new Lost and it is really good. i just happened to be reading the book Chicken soup for the soul that I had loaned my SIL and the very first page I opened it at was a story about adoption, I read it and burst into tears I am soo ready to be a Mum that I just feel like that my heart is about to burst, dh knew that I had been crying but I just don't think he understands how I feel, but that is men for you I suppose .
I hope everybody else is well.

LOL Keli


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## Mummyof2

Kylie - fantastic news.


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## EML

Dear Girls
Well, what a difference a few days make! A few days ago, I was on here moaning about our LA and how they were putting a brick wall up to us as we were unwilling to consider a child over the age of 7, one with dual ethnicity or one who had severe developmental delay! Well... we had already contacted a VA and we've had our Initial Interview with them. They were LOVELY! Really understanding of our attitudes and hopes and have already offered us a place on a Prep course in few months time! They said we would be most suitable for a sibling group of ages 2+! Just what we had hoped for!!! We're SOOOO excited!
So, thanks girls for your encouragement and suggestions... this really is such a good place for support!
Love
EML


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## kizzie

Eml - thats great news 

Also should give others encouragement not to give up.  Our local LA just wasnt interested in us at all but then we were taken on by a VA which was really keen.  So it just goes to show thats its worth ringing round quite a few different places.

Good luck for prep course - we really enjoyed ours.

Kizziex


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## fiona1

Bomerang girl,

Congratulations on you match. I follow this thread and have watched your progress with great intrest, because you are from Kent. I am too and wondered if you have any info on concurrent planning and time scales. I am under the understanding that Kent are very good at time scales. Do you know how long they like you to out of tx before the home study starts? How long does the home study take? Do they do concurrent planning or just normal adoption.

If anyone else can answer any of these questions please do.

Best of luck with all your journeys. We have 2 more ICSI attemps then we will be back what ever the outcome.

Fiona


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

Kylie - great news.  As Andrea says you have no time for decorating and shopping once you start the meets.  I couldn't believe how tired and emotionally drained I was.  We did things before panel knowing that they would be moving in less than 3 weeks after then.  Can't wait to hear all about her.  

Barbarella - Welcome back.  Great news on the panel date, almost 2 years to the day of mine.

EML - great news on the more +ve approach from the VA.  Hope things start moving along nicely now for you.

Anyway I best dash just pooped on line to finish my tesco order and have loads of reading for Uni next week.  The joys of being back at school!!

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Love
Karen x


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## Barbarella

*Thanks for the welcome back Andrea and Karen...

Andrea... stupid me ... LOL. I understand now about the nickname... although I do know someone on another board who calls her daughter Strawberry.. I think it's lovely. I used to call my friends dot Strawberry when she was pg with her, because at one stage the book said she's the size of a strawberry... that's why I picked up on it. Thanks for explaining..LOL.

Can't wait to tell you all my nickname(s). I forgot to say yesterday that we'd decided on a single or sibling group of 2. So exciting..!! Last session (hopefully) tomorrow.

Love Cx  *



superal said:


> Just wanted to say welcome Barbarella, we haven't forgotten who you are & its nice to hear where your up to.
> 
> As you can see Kylie has some wonderfull news about her daughter, fingers crossed, she nicknamed her Strawberry as obviously you can't print her real name, we all think it's a cool idea to give your potential little ones a nick name.
> 
> Welcome back!
> 
> Love
> Andrea
> xx


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## superal

Barbarella

Don't apologise, you've been away from the boards for a while & it takes a while to catch up.

Good luck with your last session tomorrow.  

I thought of nicknames for my two but seeing as I have one of each it is just easier for me to call them DS & DD..........it's a good idea to call them a nick name though, start thinking of some for yours soon!

Love
Andrea
xx


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## alex28

Barbarella - hiya and welcome back!! Hope you session went well today??  

Kylie - am so excited for you!!!!!!!!!!!    

EML - glad you have turned the corner and things are looking up.

Well I LOVE WEDNESDAYS.........do you want to know why.....................

..........i cant hear you.......................
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MY SOCIAL WORKER CALLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   

so pleased, she called me at work and i told her this was not a prob but she said she did not want to get me into trouble with my boss!! Doh, she has obviously not read our file as im self-employed and run my own business!!  She sounds lovely though and we have our first visit at the start of March.

Hope everyone else is doing ok and having a good day.

ta ta for now.


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## Boomerang girl

Hi all,
alex great news about the social worker phoning!!! not long nowthen before you start!

barbarella the funny thing is when we had the meeting last week with her sw, she said that thelittleone would happily eat us out of strawberries (she doesn't know I have strawberry as a nickname so I thought that was funny!)

Fiona, I think kent likes at least six months to have past since tx, but it varies on the couple and where you are at.

Kent were not that up on their timescales when Iwas going through- there was a real shortage of social workers so there was a gap of nearly five months between one prep course and the next! but nowthey are fully staffed and Iunderstand are doing prep courses less than two months apart.

They do offer concurrent planning- at the moment itis for adopters living within one hour drive of dover- it is a thanet based project- quite new so they may expand in time.

Well our sw sent me a text today to say our meeting with sw and foster parent is next monday- sooner than I had thought it would be which is great!!!

fingers and toes crossed please.

x


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## keemjay

all crossed my end kylie


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## Ruthiebabe

mine too.....although it doe make typing diffidult!yhshydeolij'WQ-4=


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## superal

Fingers crossed for you Kylie, you must be getting so nervous, excited now you are another step closer to meeting Strawberry!


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## saphy75

everything crossed for you Kylie, i cant wait to hear all about it

pam xx


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## lisaw36

Kylie, so excited for you ...............    yipppeeeeeeeee  

Fiona,  Kylie is right, we are on our prep course at the moment (day 3 today) and they are running another one in about 2 1/2 months time.  They are definitely fully staffed at the moment and even have a couple of trainees/students doing some of the running around.  I know they insist on 6 months from your last tx as well as they were strict on that.    

We looked into concurrent adoption but we were told that we were more than one hour's drive from Dover and, although it was a close call, they felt that time limit was already stretching things.  We were quite glad that the decision was made for us as it is a tough thing to go through.  Kent had only done 8 when we spoke about it and one of those went back to the birth mum so you do have to be prepared and that would be a big wrench for everyone, (new grannies and grandpa's too).  

Our course was lovely today.  A couple came in who had adopted a little girl in August and they went through the whole panel, placement, legal adoption and the man was quite emotional about it all - I must admit it gave me a lump in my throat to think that in a year's time we could be them and speaking about our little one as our own and with such love and affection.    They were really sweet people too and brought in their life book and the photos they were given at placement and the one with the Judge on adoption day.  

It made a really lovely end to the day.  On our course we are now going commando (without name badges  ) and everyone is joining in.  Some have more to say than others but we all feel we know each other a little better now and can speak our minds a bit more. 

Just a quick congrats to Barberella and EML ..............  so nice to have some more good news. 

Lots of love   

LisaW
xxx


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## Laine

Hi everyone,

Kylie - Thrilled for you, can't wait to hear more news.

Alex - Glad to hear your sw has called and that you will be starting in March.

Barberella - Nice to see you posting.  Hope your last session went ok today.

Eml - Good news!  Hope you get your Prep Course dates soon.

Lisa - Pleased you are enjoying your Prep Course.

Karen - Happy reading!

Lauren - Good luck with HS.

Arniegirl - Hope you get your Prep Course dates soon.

Laine


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## Barbarella

Thanks everyone for the good luck wishes...    

Well, our last session went really well and ended on such a positive note.  She told us that if we were booking a holiday soon, to book as close to panel as possible as "couples like us get snapped up" apparently.  What a lovely thing to say.  We'd heard so many negative things about SW's and the process before this, but we've had such a positive experience.  She said she hadn't met many people who had enjoyed it as much as we have...   .  

She saw our 1st referees today and at the end of the session told them that we were an ideal couple to adopt and that they'd confirmed her thoughts...

So, we're over the moon with such positive feedback.  Just got to get on with all our homework now, as we've been a bit lax (dh working weekends at the moment, I'm working all week)....!!  

Sooooooooo, next bit is panel... can't wait !!!

Best of luck to everyone on this path... I never thought I'd feel this way, but it's just soooooo lovely to be here. 

Kylie... am wetting my pants with excitement for you....    Best of luck for Monday...!

Andrea... will think of some nicknames soon....be still my beating heart. 

Alex... good luck with your first meeting in March.. is this the start of your home study (apologies, trying to catch up with everyone).

Lisa... glad you're enjoying your prep course.  We got so much out of ours and the information really helped during our home study.  

Well that's all from me for now... 

Love C xx


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## Mummyof2

C - exciting news.  When is your panel date?

Kylie - all sounding really positive. 

We had last home study visit last night.  Got to start our family book and finish off competencies book by doing an index and front sheet.  As our referees still haven't been interviewed (was supposed to be done in December but put back due to Christmas and staff shortages)  we have missed panel date of 9th of March.   As our social worker is doing prep course training on panel date in April,   we have been put back to panel date of 11th of May    

 Good news is that since 31st of Dec 05 under the new national adoption guidelines, everyone is either approved or not approved to adopt at panel and age group restrictions have been taken away so if you are approved you can apply to adopt a child from 0-9 years.  Ten years and above are given the choice of being adopted or fostered and, as some remember their birth families well, some choose to be long term fostered instead out of loyalty to their birth families.  There is a form that gets filled in which specifies which age group you are most interested in but it is not written in stone that you have to go to panel to be approved for that age group any more - you are just approved to adopt or not approved so it is much more flexible.  It is especially good news for me as being over 40 I was told that I could not adopt a child under 18 months, now that "rule" has gone out the window.  It also means that someone of, for example, 60 could apply to adopt a little baby (as they would have been approved at panel for 0-9 years under the new "rules") but they would be looked at closely to see how their health is etc before it being decided if it was right for the child or not as other factors like health and lifestyle and general suitability for that age group are keyed in as well as the prospective adopters wishes.

All the best

Jennifer


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## alex28

Barbarella - yes its the start of our HS.  We have done prep course, CRB checks etc, so just HS, medical, referees and panel to go!!


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi Jennifer,

pain about your delay! Always seems to be something! Maybe you could ask your SW if she could find out if there are any suitable children waiting at the mo. Ours told us just before we went to panel that there were none in our LA at that time, which was a bit dissappointing, but at least we knew not to expect everything to happen straight after panel.

xxruth


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## Mummyof2

Hi Ruth, our sw said she had asked if there were any children under 3 waiting to be placed and there aren't at the moment.  They had quite a few in recently but they went straight out again to people who were already approved and waiting.  However, this does mean that the person will notify our sw if a suitable child comes along, before our panel date so our sw felt that the delay, whilst disappointing, did not disadvantage us unduly.  Thanks for taking the time to post your suggestion though as it might have been something that we had missed.  

Jennifer


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## magenta

jennifer - sorry to hear about your hold ups...sounds like we won't be panel twins  but at least in England and Wales they have taken away the age restrictions etc so that sounds positive.  Here in scotland we still get approved for a certain age bracket and still have the 'tick list' section on form F regarding the kinds of children we feel we could give a home to.  So last meeting we had to make the hard decisions about how many and what age. We really wanted two but have decided (for many reasons - one being house size) to be approved for one and then see how we are as a family in a few years before looking to add a brother or sister if appropriate.  We also had to decide on our 'upper age' which was really hard and the sw was pushing us older and older with each suggestion we made.

We have another 3 meetings to go...2 meetings to finish form F, check it through and add any extra bits and then an extra one in early March to sign off the form and have a 'practice run' at panel.  

Alex - enjoy Homestudy - we have found it realy good (although the homework never seemed to stop!)

Barbarella - well done on completing home study and getting such good feedback..next step panel.

magenta xx


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## BunBun

Do you mind if I join you all?
Just a quick post to let you all know where we at in the process.
We made our initial enquiry to the la last August & were lucky enough to get a place on the information evening in September, but after meeting with one of the sw we were told that we were not acceptable & not to bother completing the expression of interest forms as we would not be accepted. We decided to complete the forms anyway but never heard anything back. Much to our surprise we have now received a letter confirming we have been accepted & have been a allocated a sw, not only that but our home visit is next Thursday (16th).


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

hey BunBun, you story is definately a good one as we've had a few people on here lately told the same as you. Good for you for perceviring!!

And we've just had some news, we've just heard that the SW of the child our forms were out for is very interested in us and is coming to meet us week after next!!! I'm trying to think of a nickname for him......how about Boo? He's 2.......am so excited, and trying very hard not to get tear-y as am at work and also have PMT, so always a bit emotional!..........also trying not to get carried away as it may not work out!

XXXXRuth.


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## kizzie

Hi bun Bun - welcome to this thread!

I know you wont want to give too many details but do you mind giving us a vague idea why they tried to 'put you off' in the first place.  I keep hearing about things like this and its seems such a shame that people who would give children a good home are being sent away.  Good for you for sticking with it  

When i first rang our LA they were so negative and ive often thought that if I hadnt been so determined that would have been the end of our adoption journey.  There must be so many lovely people put off at this stage       With us they were concerned about the size of our house because we already have birth children (and that if we decide to build an extension in the future it might be a bit unsettling for the children) - then when we started our home study our social worker said what a lovely size house it is and perfect for a family.  Doesnt make sense does it when so many children are waiting.

Anyway good luck with your first home visit.  

Kizziex


----------



## kizzie

Fingers crossed for you and boo Ruth   
Kizziex


----------



## alex28

Hi bunbun and welcome.

Ruthie - good luck for your visit from Boo's SW

There seems to be so many good things happening on here at the moment, such a wonderful and positive thread.  lets keep it going eh!


----------



## Arniegirl

Hi Bun Bun and welcome to the forum.Well done Barbarella on completing your home study! 

We got our forms through to name our references the other day and went to speak to DH's sister last night about being a family reference. She is more than happy to do it, so that's great.Just need to confirm with my best friend now. I think people initially get a bit intimidated by the idea of a Sw interviewing them about our suitability to adopt!Has this been anyone elses experience? 
Good luck everyone!
Arniegirlx


----------



## naoise

Hi everybody.

I had my individual meeting today with my sw and it went really well, thank goodness I was a bit nervous and she was 15mins late just to add to my misery. So she is coming to see dh next week instead of in a fortnight as planned, so things are moving really fast.

All the best to you Ruth hope it all goes for you both!
Welcome Bunbun to the board.
I think it is about time for us all to have some good luck for a change.

LOL Keli


----------



## alex28

Great new Keli - one more tick off the box so to speak. 

Arnie - our refs do not seem too worried.  One of DH's referees has very close neighbours who foster and went onto adopt and the other set of friends for us both have 3 kids who they lend out to us on various occassions.  She also works for SS in the Children and Families department so knows the score.  My other referee acted as a ref for a mutual friend about 3 years ago so has some experience which is good.  I let them all know today that our SW had been in contact and therefore it would not be too long before she contacted them.  

love to everyone else. xx


----------



## Barbarella

Thanks for the mentions ladies.... 

Jennifer... our panel date is 27th April, so we're not far apart at all... seems we both finished our home study on the same day...!!  You are further ahead than us with competencies and family book... we've not even started yet, although we were pleased we hadn't filled out the Form F, as we have a new one to complete.  We have to get our bums in gear now... I'm a bit of a procrastinator unfortunately, but once I get going, there's no stopping me....

I think the new changes are good news.  The "tick list" has been replaced with a more general discussion and I found that much easier to cope with.. that was the one thing I wasn't looking forward to.

Alex... good luck with home study.. hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Speak soon...

Love Cx


----------



## superal

Just quickly popping in to wish Ruth lots of luck with meeting Boo's SW, , have every thing crossed for you.

Some lovely news again, it's been a good start to the year for lots of you, let's hope the ones still waiting will hear some thing soon.

Love
Andrea
xx


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## SpookedOut

Hi Girls, I hope you don't mind if I join you, but I'm a lurker on this board and have been so delighted to see so much good news for so many of you. As you are all seasoned at this m'larky, I think I could really do with your advice. 

I suppose you're wondering why I lurk?   Well, the reason is that I'm considering trying to go for adoption. It's an idea that has been rattling around in my head for just under a year now. I did an ICSI last year in May, which was negative Then, I had a chat with a lovely social worker who came to our house to talk to DH and I. I thought the idea of adoption sounded much more us, but there was no preparation course til this March, so we were put on the list and started to wait. For some reason, I did another ICSI (I have 3 funded on NHS) in December which was negative again. This time I got some frosties. 

The thing is, I really like the idea of adoption. I actually think I prefer it to the idea of more treatment! Does that sound completely bonkers?  . And then, this morning, I got a letter in offering us a place on the prep course. And I'm dead excited! But I can't get my head round whether I'm ready to walk away from more treatment (it's the keeping options open trap) and my frosties. The other thing that bothers me is that I wonder whether, when I actually know more about adoption, will I feel completely different about it? I suppose the prep course might answer some of those questions? The letter says that we can decide whether to proceed at the end of the course, so do you think it would be wise to go on it and learn some more before making our minds up? 

Ohh, I'm all over the place this morning. So sorry this is such a me post (I'm a nice person really!! )./ Your thoughts would be most appreciated.

Thanks so much to you all in advance.

Best wishes 

SpookedOut


----------



## magenta

Hi SpookedOut, Glad you have come out of the shadows and said hello.   

I am sure that making the decision to stop treatment will be very hard and, to be honest, only you and your partner will know what it right for you.  You might find that you can go on the prep course without having to completely decide against another treatment which would allow you to find out more without giving up your 'place' in the ICSI queue (as it were).  But I think you might find it easier to make a decision beforehand - just for your own peace of mind and to offer that precious prep course place to someone else if you decide to try again for a birth child.

No real advice...we made the decision to adopt years before applying so it wasn't an issue for us but I am sure others on here will understand and be happy to try and help.

magenta xx


----------



## cindyp

Just a quickie, still off-line at home and am doing some overtime at work.

Kylie, great news re Strawberry.  We didn't do any decorating/shopping until the match had been approved (didn't want to tempt fate).  Can't wait to hear that the match has gone ahead.

Ruth, more lovely news, can't wait to hear more about Boo, good luck with the "trying not to get too excited".  I know that didn't work for us when we heard about our possible match with DS   .

Gotta go, supposed to be working.

Love to all
Cindy


----------



## Ange K

Hello ladies

I’ve been reading this thread for a long time and thought it was about time I made myself known. We’ve not been allowed to start the adoption ball rolling until 6 months since my last tx …. It’s been the longest 6 months ever!

We’ve got our information evening on 22 Feb at an LA about 18 miles away from where we live. I just have a question and wondered if anyone could comment on how far away you should go to register with an LA. I had a chat with a social worker at our nearest LA yesterday and she just made me think a bit about it really – she mentioned that they don’t take people who live in that area because you might bump into the birth parents or relatives and advised me that if I were to be taken on by them, that I should look to do my shopping in another city centre for a couple of years until the child has changed appearance. This really made me feel quite scared and I’ve thought of nothing else since this conversation. I suppose there are loads of things like this that will come up during the adoption process so I’d better get used to them! I was thinking that maybe I should look at registering with an LA a lot further away – does anyone have any views/experience of this? I really would appreciate your comments.

I’m looking forward to getting to know all of you lovely ladies!

Ange x


----------



## superal

Hi Ange & welcome to this section of the boards.

I'm sure some one will correct me if I am wrong but you can apply to any LA or VA within a 50 mile radius of where you live.

Both times we went through adoption the offices were about an hours drive away for us, it is something to think about.

Looking forward to getting to know you.

Take care

Love
Andrea
xx


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## kizzie

Hi everyone - had a bit of a frustrating couple of days and just wanted to update you all.

As Ive mentioned before I had Post Natal Depression (I know it doesnt make any sense  - but the risk after IVF is actually higher than normal.  It took me completely by suprise.)  I then had a difficult withdrawal from an antidepressant.  (All resolved now)

Anyway we told the agency about it as soon as we applied.  We passed our prep course / home study going well/ references all really positive.

GP obviously had to mention it in report but said that she completely supported our application.

Anyway we've just heard that the medical advisor has requested more info. because they have concerns.  So now im just really nervous that we are going to be rejected.

I know there's nothing we can do about it - (I cant change something that happened in the past  ) but still wont make the waiting to find out any easier.

Anyway sorry for bit of a negative post but finger crossed all works out ok    

Kizziex


----------



## Barbarella

Hi Ange

I can never understand it when I hear this, as we have applied to our local LA.  I called about 5 different ones outside my area, and every single one, apart from my own one, said they would only assess us for older children as the young children go to the adopters in their area.  So it always baffles me when I hear this.

Our LA covers a large area, and we are quite lucky to live right at the edge of the boundary, which means we are quite far away from the other end (if that makes sense...) but when I spoke to SW this week, she just said we wouldn't be matched with a child in our immediate area, but there was no rule as to how far away...!!!

I suppose all LA's are different, but it must be very frustrating when you come up against this. 

Best of luck....

C xx


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## alex28

Hi Ang and welcome.

We contacted our LA and all they told us on our prep course was that whilst any child would most prob come from our LA it prob would not come from our Town.  Our area cover from Exmoor to just outside bath down to the Somerset/Devon borders so its quite a wide area with lots of towns.

Hope things progress for you soon and good luck.

Kizzie - keep your chin up girl - im sure things will be fine. xx


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Bathbun, Spooked Out and Ange - Welcome to the thread.  Look forward to sharing your journeys with you.

Kizzie - Try not to worry too much about this.  The good thing is your doctor is supporting you. 

Ruth - Good news on Boo!

Keli - Glad the one to one went ok for you.

Jennifer - Sorry to hear you have another delay.  

Magenta - Not long to go for you!

Alex - Not long until you start HS.

We've been busy doing our homework.  Must say I have enjoyed writing the essays   

Laine


----------



## SpookedOut

Hi girls, 

Just to let you know that after giving this much thought, I've decided to hold off on the preparation course for now. I think me and dh could do with a rest from this whole issue. We're going on holiday shortly and I think we'll have the spring and summer "off" and then look at things again. It will be good to try and get a bit of our old perspective back. 

Sorry if I offended anyone with seemingly having too many choices when I know so many are stuck with so little. I have to say though, it doesn't really make it any easier - just more confusing. Here's hoping that I've made the right choice and best of luck to you all in your adoption journey.

I still hope I get to join you all one day. I'd like to be able to say that I was one of the few people who had actually been approved to be a parent! 

Best wishes to you all. 

SpookedOut


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## keemjay

Hi all

spooked out - i'm sure you have made the right decision for you and dh, enjoy having your life back to normal for a while 

welcome ange k - we have had a 6 month wait too from the open eve to the prep course as they wanted us to have had a full year after tx! i thought the last 6 months would drag but getting a puppy has managed to keep us busy  not long till your info evening 

kylie- any news about Strawberry - been thinking about you lots and imagining being in your shoes sometime in the future
and any news from you Ruth re Boo?

laine, i cant imagine getting excited about writing essays - have to say I'm not looking forward to that bit!!

bunbun - glad you have persevered with your application, just shows one sw doesnt speak for everyone...

we have our first prep course on wed - a half day...getting really nervous now, i know it'll be fine, but its a bit like your first tx, you just dont know what to expect...

dh has a job at last hurrah! he starts next week, the day after our 2nd course. he has discussed the matter of time off for the rest of the courses and they were fine....god job cos he will have to take 3 more days off in his first month!

love to all

kj x


----------



## kizzie

Hi everyone
The dr who is going to do our '2nd opinion' rang me today and said he is more than happy to support us and will write a very positive report based on what he has seen of me     So will just be down to the agency to make their decisions now - not really anything else we can do.

Good luck for the course keemjay - we really enjoyed ours and the other people were lovely.

Kizziex


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## saphy75

Just pooping in to say   to everyone. we have been approved 5 weeks today and i have to say it feels like 5 years   i never realised the waiting would be this bad   and i've not been waiting long at all (sorry just feeling sorry for myself)  

pam xx


----------



## alex28

saphy75 said:


> Just pooping in to .
> 
> pam xx


do you have to Pam!!!!!!!


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## Boomerang girl

pam hope the wait isn't too much longer!!


our meeting with srawberry's foster parents appeared to go really well- they just plowed us with information about her and stayed about 2 hours- the foster mum was lovely she said she could see that we could have been her parents so it is a good match physically- it was all talk about when rather thn if.
so the next step is the matching meeting they will all have then we will find out when panel is on.

after so many years of struggles and disappointment it feels too good to be true. In one sense its like, about time something went well and smoothly for us, and then we keep waiting for the "but" or for something to go wrong!

still, have convinced dh to go to the mothercare superstore on friday for "research purposes" 

kizzie- great news about the dr being on side

keeping my fingers crossed about boo ruth
x


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## saphy75

fantastic news kylie, i'm soooo excited for you hun and praying that the "but" doesn't come up (i'm sure it wont) I can't wait to hear more  

pam xx


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi Kylie,

that sounds great. I was out shopping with my SIL and she had to go into mamas and papas shop and i did a bit of research myself!.........couldn't justify going in alone, but thought as she was going anyway i'd keep her compnay!! it was fun!

strawberry will be with you before you knpow it!

XXRuth.


----------



## kizzie

ooooh kylie     They sound soooo sure about you!

Pam - hope you dont have too much longer.  it must be so frustrating  

Kizzie xx


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## Mummyof2

Kylie - sounding so close now - huge congratulations to you and dh.  I am sure that it will not go wrong at this late stage.  Well done.

Pam - our sw told us that the worst bit would be after we had been to panel and were waiting to be matched.  She said that everyone finds it hard and there are no guarantees how long we will have to wait.  She said the longest that anyone of her people waited to be matched was 18 months but that was exceptionally long and it is usually 4-8 months.  Hope you don't have to wait too much longer.

Nothing happening here.  Just plodding on with the competencies book.  Just got the index to write.  Then dh and I have to revise our child selection list as we put too many nos and sw said that we would not be considered for a child if we didn't put more yeses as we were being too rigid she felt, unless we were prepared for a very long wait.  Depressing.  Oh well.

Bye for now

Jennifer


----------



## Emcon

Hi all

Sorry I haven't posted, I read what you are all up to everyday but I haven't really had much to say.  We have now completed our home study (2 weeks ago) but our social worker will not be free to right up our Form F until end of February with us hopefully going to panel in April.  The delay is quite frustrating but she did tell us that there is no possible match out there for us at the moment so at least I do not feel we are missing out on a new addition to our family.

We are also hoping to take our son away for a week at the beginning of June, if we had to cancel and lose all our money that would be fine but we also feel we cannot put out lives on hold while we wait to be matched we did this for 3 years with IVF (how presumptious of us we may get knocked back at panel!).

Just wanted to say to Jennifer that when we did the "what type of child we would be prepared to adopt" our sw was brilliant things we thought we would be ok with she steered us away from and things that we thought a definite no became a maybe once she had put a slightly different slant on them, we then felt we were able to put "limited". This way it left the door open for her to come and talk to us, but ultimately she will family find for us and knows what we and she feels we can deal with as a family.  Hopefully this might help you.  We did do the back of the Form F which I didn't think was being done with the changes to Adoption but hey ho we try to go with the flow and trust our SW that she knows what she is doing.

Good luck to one and all

Em

PS There are some really positive posts on this board at the mo and although I do not post often they have given me the strength to continue on our adoption journey. 

        

Jenni


----------



## superal

Hi Kylie:  it's lovely to read all your news about Strawberry and at what stage you are at & what happens next.  It brings back so many good memories of our two, finding out about them and going on from there, it's a very exciting part of what can be a long and hard path to follow and you deserve all the happiness and wonderful feelings that you & your DH have waited so long to feel.

The truly exciting bit is still to happen, when you first meet your daughter, words can not express how you will feel but you will remember that moment for the rest of your life.

Pam:- waiting is the hardest part of all, 5 weeks to some people might not seem a long time but when it's you and it's personal to you, it can seem like forever.  It's just a case of planning things and keeping your self busy but knowing that at the end of the day your dreams will come true, its just very hard waiting, it will happen soon, I have my fingers crossed for you. 

Love & best wishes to everyone else, hope your having a lovely valentines day, DH surprised me with a bouquet of flowers with 6 red roses inside the bouquet, I'm busy making him a nice meal, expecting him home any minute now so better go and finish preparing his meal .

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Barbarella

Oh Kylie... that's wonderful news about Strawberry... how fantastic!!!

I know exactly what you mean about things going so well... we feel this way even at our stage and we are wondering when the disappointments are going to come in.  But, like you, we feel we deserve it to go smoothly after what we've been through...!!  Let's hope it does.

Best of luck for the matching panel... sounds like a match made in heaven.

Love Cxx


----------



## KarenM

Hi Girls

Have 3 days at University this week so very short on time.  Have had a quick read of what you are all up to and it is great to see so much +ve news.

Kylie - hope you don't have to wait to long to meet Strawberry and that matching panel happens soon.  Have fun at Mothercare!

Kizzie - great news on your doctors report.

Pam - hope you get a call soon.  We waited 3 months to hear about our girls but took the time to enjoy life and have some quality time together.

Andrea - how lovely to have roses.  We've not bothered this year (the first time ever!, but why is posted further down....)

Jenny - Good luck with your book.

Emcon - glad to hear that we keep you going.

Hi to everyone else.

Well my news is that my bessie mate is getting married in 5 weeks time in Jersey.  In panic mode to get everything organised, but we have booked our flights and hotel and just need to sort out outfits for us all.  They have been together for 15 years and she never believed it would happen.  I am so excited.  My eldest asked me last  night what it meant to get married so i showed her our wedding video.  They loved it.

Anyway have loads to do for homework!!

Bye for now
Karen x


----------



## keemjay

oooh kylie, its sounding soooo positive for you guys. enjoy your research at mothercare 

pam, I'm sure the waiting is hard, i'm not very patient at the best of times so i know i'm going to find it hard too when the time comes. dh and i were talking the other day that just like when we were doing tx and we made sure we had things planned ahead, we will have to keep doing the same whilst waiting to adopt. we'll have to keep them closer to home (prob NZ trip out the window ) but nonetheless we must ensure we focus on keeping ourselves busy....it really helped before so i know it will help again

well we had our first prep course yesterdayand it was fine  it was called 'loss in adoption' and how the losses we have felt with our infertility arent too dissimilar to the losses an adopted child may feel, and also the birth parent...was very interesting. lots of group work and couple stuff too. esp interesting was filling out a sheet about our dream child..what we imagined our natural children would have been like and our hopes and ambitions for them. good to talk about that stuff together... there were 9 couples who we will be doing our whole course with so it was nice to get to know them. all seemed really friendly.  all have had some sort of fertility issues, was interesting to listen to others coping strategies, and how we all have come to the conclusion to adopt.also we talked about a sort of goodbye infertility/hello adoption kind of ritual we could have to really punctuate the end of one road and the beginning of a new one. really like that idea so planning it already! (I'm a bit of a one for rituals..)  am looking forward to next tues already and feeling really positive about the whole course ahead 

kj x


----------



## Loubie101

Hi, can I join you please?!  I've been posting on the Clomid board for a while now, but we've now made the major decision to adopt.  We've had our initial home visit and yesterday got the phone call to say we've been given the go ahead to go on a preparation course in June.

I'm still on Clomid for another 2 months (ends in April) so they're going to check then whether we still want to go ahead.  (I don't hold out much hope in getting pregnant anymore)

So, here we are 

Loubie xx


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Girls,

I do read the boards most days and am so happy to keep up with all your lovely news, but do find it hard to get time to post, but here goes 

Ange, Bun-Bun and Loubie Welcome to our happy band . Good luck with your new and exciting journey to mummyhood.

Kylie, great news about strawberry  I am glad your meeting with FP went well. We have a fantastic relationship with our littlemans FP, infact we popped in for a visit last week, she was so happy to see him as he is now walking. i really most think of a Nick name for him!! 

Pam, i know exactally where you are coming from, when we had been approved about five weeks I felt exactally the same and thought OMG!!!! how will I cope as i knew it could be a lot longer. In our case we were very lucky as when I phoned our SW he said he had been about to call me about the little boy how is now our DS.    so just hang on in there buddy, you little one is here in this world and is just around the corner for you.

Karen, have fun at the wedding. It will be another family memory to treasure.

Ruth, any more news on Boo!

Update on us, well i went back to work in Jan and although i love my job I am finding it really hard, mainly because my boss has tried to back tract on my new agreed hours so i am currently in a battle to sort that out which has been making me a bit depressed, the last conversation i had with him I ended in in tears. But I am sticking to my guns as I know what i what to do is workable and spending 2 days a week at home with my little man is soooooooooooooooooooooo important to me. I just wish I could afford to cut my hours more but as DH has gone self employed to be at home more too, we need my wage as a steady income  

On a happier not Ds is soooooooooooooooooooo cute. he is now walking really well, but he thinks he can run   so he is covered in bumps and lumps, he is such a boy though, real rough and tumble. He has been saying hiya for a while now but we have been teaching him byebye when he waves  The next big event is his christening which we have booked for the end of May. It will be such a special day, we will have been married for 8 years then and to share they joy of our special little boy with all the family will be great.

Have fun, keep smiling, 

Mandyx

A Nick name!! how about Pooh Bear as it is his favorite and mine?

So byebye from Pooh bear and mummy mandyxxxx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi mandy

your post was really lovely. Pooh bear sounds like a little angel!  A bit of rough and tumble is definately what little boys bring with them. I'll hopefully be sharing the same stories soon!

Next wednesday is our meeting with the SWs. I had planned to spend the weekend finishing decorating the hall/stair/landing. But i was also supposed to be going to a judo comp....am only a yellow belt but absolutely lovin it. So DH has said he''ll do the decorating and that I must still go to the comp. I think he worries that I get too obsessed about these things.....he may be right??

Anyway I'll let you all know hwo it goes next wednesday,
XXRuth


----------



## magenta

Hi girls!

Ruthiebabe - all the best with the judo comp - might be a good idea to takeyour mind off things for a bit (oh...and let DH do all the work of course )

msw - Pooh Bear sounds adorable!  love the name and love your descriptions of him waving bye bye at everyone.

Welcome to all the new folks out there - hello!!

Boomerang - any more news on strawberry??

keemjay - glad that you are enjoying prep course.  i really enjoyed ours.

hello to everyone else that i haven't siad hello to yet....Karen, Barbarella, Alex, Saphy, Superal , Emcom, Kizzie,  JenniferF, Laine.......et al

Well...big news in the magenta household is that we finished our form F today and our matching pro forma. So this was our last official homestudy visit!!  Just 2 more meetings - next week to do the health and safety check of the house and hand over the form and then one in March with the agency director to assess the process and to get 'hints and tips for panel on 6th April'.

Sooooo excited to be nearly there and now swinging between joyous anticipation and sheer dread at the idea of having a child eventually.  All these years of building up in my head that we would be childless and now there is a 99% chance of a child becoming part of our family...more than i could ever dream of  but yet so far from where we are now...words can't describe my emotions fully..I just feel so happy yet anxious all at once ... but i hope you all understand.

Anyway...better go as I have promised to get stuff done for work and I want to have a romantic evening with hubby to celebrate our hard work over the past 3months.

magenta xx


----------



## naoise

Hi everybody,

Magenta fantastic news on your homestudy, I am sure you are glad to have reached this stage, I hope you enjoy your evening you both deserve it! 

Ruth good luck with your comp,

It is soo good to hear that everyone is getting on so well.
 to anyone who is new.

DH had is individual interview today, I think he was quite pleased about how it all went, so our sw is coming back in a fortnight we are talking about our relationship so that should be interesting.

Just wondering does anyone have a list about what each interview is about? I am just trying to work out what we will be talking about each week.

LOL Keli


----------



## Mummyof2

Keli - http://www.adoption.org.uk/information/page10.htm

This has loads of information about the adoption process and the homestudy. I found it very useful. Also, if you have been given a copy of a Form F you will find that it tells you on that (at the back) what you will be talking about each week.

Magenta - congrats. It's a nice feeling to finish the homestudy isn't it - as you say - another milestone over 

Regards

Jennifer


----------



## alex28

Magenta - YAY!!!!!!!!!!    excellant news - you must be delighted.  Enjoy the time you have left with just the two of you.

Keli - glad things are going for you as well.

Ruth - cant wait to hear your update next week - hope the DIY goes ok - we too are in the process of doing our 3rd bedroom, stripped the paper off and just have to fit new skirting, paint and blinds.

Mandy - i think secretly we all wish we could be stay at home mums!!!

Hope everyone else is ok.

I've just had the most lovely phone call from my friends husband - they are our referees - he is going abroad on business in march and his wife wants to go too so they have asked me and DH to move into their house for the week and look after their children - they felt it would be very good exp for us and something they would be proud to tell the SW we had done.  She has 3 boys, 6 months, 20 months and 3 years!!!!!!  OMG am i going to have my hands full or what!!!  Luckily they all go to nursery and get fed their so i have to take them in the morning and collect them after work, it means leaving work early but hey it will be worth it - they are great kids and we really enjoy spending time with them. I just feel so chuffed that they trust us to look after for them for the week.  Will prob have to take the following week off work due to exhaustion   but at least i will see what its like loking after 3 kids whilst working full time!!!


----------



## Lauren

Gosh I havent been on here for about a week cos been really busy and can't believe how much there is to catch up on and soooo much good news too!  It really is such a positive board to be on.  

Well, my news is that we had our very first homestudy meeting last night with our SW so we feel well and truly on the road now.  She was such a lovely lady, really put us at ease and turns out we have loads of connections with her - she is best friends with some people my husband knows fairly well, she has always wanted to live in the street we live in (?), she loves horses (I have 3) and she did a homestudy for someone I know who is also adopting from Guatemala!  Am very excited about how things are proceeding.  She is back next Thursday to do both mine and my dh's invidiuals.

Don't know where to start with personals, I have missed so much but a big hi to everyone who is new on here and I know you will get so much support and info from this board.

Alex - looks like you are going to have your work cut out looking after your friends children, but what great experience and how lovely that she trusts you so much to ask you to do that for her.

Magenta - congrats on completing your homestudy, must be such a relieve and very exciting, although I'm sure as you say a little bit daunting aswell.

Keli - what sort of things did you cover in your invidiual interview with your SW?  Was it basically an overview of your life history or did she cover more personal stuff?

Kylie - can't wait to hear more news about Strawberry. 

Mandy - Pooh Bear is a fantastic name for your little one, he sounds like a real lovable cheeky chap!

Hi to everyone else and hope you all have a fab weekend.

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


----------



## naoise

Hi Lauren, looks like we are going to be hs buddies , for my individual talk I had to do a bit of homework and email it to her before she came. It covered my childhood, education, and info about my personality and about my life experiences. I think the more things that you have experienced the better. I think they want to know that you have had good and bad times when you were growing up so that you wil be able to sympathise with the children that you are going to adopt.It really is easy once you get started talking and just be as honest as possible. They really want to know about you warts and all. My dh had his talk on Thursday and I think he told our sw everything warts and all, my dh is one thing and that is honest he holds nothing back. Have you any idea how long it will take for your adoption to go through? What made you pick Guatemala? I hope all goes well.

LOL KEli


----------



## Arniegirl

Hello all!
Just popping in to say Hi! We've been in Ireland since Tuesday. You may have seen my diabetes post just before we went- Dh had a repeated blood sugar test and it was fine this time! Phew!
We got our CRB check things back in the post today and those were fine. I knew they would be, but it's another box ticked isn't it?
I haven't caught up on all your posts yet but hope all is well!
Arniegirlxx


----------



## TraceyH

Hi all

Pam, I know how you feel.  We were approved at the end of November.  I should think that nothing much happened in December, so we have probably only been in the system for 6 weeks, but it seems an eternity.  We have been talking about going on holiday in May but don't want to book anything just in case.  It is really hard being so patient.

Magenta - Well done on completing the Form F it feels good doesn't it.  Good luck for panel in April.

Kylie - I bet you are so excited.  Do you know when you can bring Strawberry home?

Good luck to everyone else.  I am sure we will have loads of good news this year.

Tracey


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Magenta - great news and well done.

Loubie - welcome to the thread.  Look forward to sharing your journey with you.

Tracey & Pam - Hope you don't have to wait too long.  

Alex - I'm sure you will be fine with your friends children, what fab experience for you.

Mandy - Nice to hear from you.

Keli - Glad you are enjoying HS.

Ruthie - Good luck with the Judo comp.

Keemjay - Glad you are enjoying the Prep Course.  We did too.

Jenni - Nice to hear from you.  When do you go to panel?

Kylie - Great news! 

Kizzie - Glad you have your GP's support.

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all ok?

We are still doing homework...another two essays albeit they are less words that the previous ones.

Laine


----------



## KarenM

Hi Girls

Finally finished my mountain of ironing, one of the down sides to motherhood!!!  But still wouldn't swap it.

Alex - what better evidence could you have for your Form F than the opportunity you friends are giving you.  Hope it goes well.

Arnie girl - great news on the checks etc.

Ruth - good luck for you meeting with the SW's

Keli and Lauren - Good luck for you homestudy

Laine - how many more for you?  Hope you get a panle date soon.

Hi to everyone else.

Well not much going on here.  My sister is visiting at the moment as she couldn't cope dealing with Dad's illness over the phone so she came over (lives in the States).  I am taking her back to the airport on Tuesday.  After I've dropped her off I am off to the passport office to get sorted for our trip as you need photo id to travel so the only option for the kids is a passport.  Got lots of homework from Uni so need to get reading.

Bye for now
Karen x


----------



## Emcon

Hi all

Just a quick update - Our Form F is now in for typing which is great because originally our SW said she would not be able to write this up until end of February ..

And she has pencilled us in for 12th April to go to panel, trying not to get too excited I know just from reading how you are all doing that this is subject to change, but we are both really excited.  I know this is only the first hurdle and we may have a long wait to be matched but at least things are starting to happen.

Em


----------



## Mummyof2

Em - sounding really good    We are going to panel in May and it seems forever away.  We are rather cross about it as we were supposed to be going in Jan, then Feb, then March and now May    and all because our referees haven't been interviewed yet as sw been too busy    It will be 18 months since we applied to going to panel  

Alex - wow, you will have your hands full but both of you will be there and it will only be in the evening and morning so not too full on hopefully!  Great experience for you and lovely to be asked.

Karen - great to hear from you.  Don't envy you the ironing.  I've got a pile to tackle but keep putting it off  

Laine - glad the homework is going well.  As you know we had to write reams.  When sw came and talked about completing the new Form F she said that our homework replies will have to be cut down to fit new form F as not so much space on form now but we get the chance to say which bit we want keeping in    And so it goes on ......  

Hi to everyone else.

Jennifer


----------



## alex28

JenniferF said:


> Alex - wow, you will have your hands full but both of you will be there and it will only be in the evening and morning so not too full on hopefully! Great experience for you and lovely to be asked.
> 
> Jennifer


mmm only problem Jennifer is that DH works away so it will only be me to look after them!!! I am taking one day off and DH and I will take them out somewhere for the day to have some fun!


----------



## jilldill

Hi, I have been watching this site for some time and thought I should say hello.
After 8 1/2 years of TTC and 3 M/C we started the adoption process. Our prep course was in Jan 05, started home visits in Oct 05 and hope to get to panel in April 06. It seems to have been a long process compared to a lot of you. It would be good to chat to anyone at a similar stage to me, I know how supportive it can be. Could I be added to the list its strangely comforting seeing your name written, I don't know why!
Good to finally meet you all I look forward to chatting
Jill xx


----------



## magenta

good morning veryone,

Hello especially to JillDill  - welcome.  I think I am at a similar stage to you.  We had our intitial meeting with agency sw in Feb 05, prep course August 05 and finished out homestudy last week.  Going to panel on 6th April - so just over a year for us.

No news here - just cleaning and fixing things round the house before te health and safety inspection on Thursday.  We also get to see our completed form F for the first time so it should be a godd meeting.

magenta xx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Magenta,
Good to hear from you, I think we may get to panel on April 3rd but there have been so many hold ups like police forms not back that we don't know for sure yet.
I am not sure how to do it yet but I may send you a PM so we can chat in more detail.
Hi to everyone else I hope you are all well today
Love Jill x


----------



## rianna

Hi Karen.

Please add me back to the list next time you get the chance - My name is Rianna, formerly Danielle.  We were approved in November and are now waiting for a suitable match.

Lots of love to everyone on their journies.


----------



## Emcon

Hi to all

Just had to share our news with you, our SW called late yesterday to tell us that we are now going to panel on the 29th March, this is because if we go then she has completed our assessment within the government guidelines of six months!

Whilst are over the moon to be going a couple of weeks earlier than expected it does annoy slightly that if it is of benefit to them that SS can pull their finger out and get things moving, I do still feel that they do loose sight of how stressful the waiting games is for us adopters! 

Still despite all my moans we are thrilled that we are at long last starting to move in the right direction

Em


----------



## EML

Dear Karen (and all girls)
Well, we've finished our deliberations... and at last we've decided to go for it. Our local VA offered us a place on the next Prep course in June and we've decided to take them up on their offer. We checked out our LA and three local VAs and the ladies from the agency we chose were SO nice and SO positive!
So, what I'm trying to say (in a long-winded fashion) is...can you please push us up your list to 'PREP COURSE' attendees!
I sound so silly... to get SO excited about a course... but it just seems to feel just that little bit closer to becoming a family!!!
We're looking at our spare room(s) in a whole new light now!!!
Love and luck to all of you.
EML


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hey there,

Got Boo's form E....made me cry! Poor little mite. When we did our prep course we spent a while discussing the situations that BP get into and how we should try not to be judgemental, but really....anyway they're coming around tomorrow to meet us, so if you could all keep your fingers crossed for us hopefully we'll be able to spend the rest of his life making up for his poor start.


also thanks for the good luck wishes for the judo, but i got my ass well and truely kicked....had to go up against a blackbelt!! very scarey but glad I did it!

Hope youre all well, 
XXRuthiebabe


----------



## saphy75

fingers & toes crossed for you ruth, it's soooo exciting   as for the judo i used to do it as akid but was sooooo cr*p at it my mum made me give it up    

pam xx


----------



## Arniegirl

Hello all!

EML- know exactly where you're coming from on the excitement front! We even got excited last week when our forms came through to say our police checks were complete.!!!

Good luck everyone else!
Arniegirlx


----------



## Boomerang girl

everything crossed for you tommorrow Ruth!!


----------



## kizzie

Good luck Ruth!  

Any news Kylie??

Kizziex


----------



## Lauren

Hi Keli - looking forward to being HS buddies with you  !  Thanks for your advice re the individuals.  I think I would probably tend to be like your DH and tell them everything warts and all and then panic afterwards that I said too much.  But like you said it is better to be honest.  We chose to go overseas cos we were told that cos of the area we live in if we did domestic we would only get an older child with special needs.  For our first child we really wanted as young as possible and that led us to Guatemala where most babies are relinquished at birth and then the adoption takes about 6 months to process.  It is definately going to be a long and complicated road and I think getting through HS and panel is probably only half of the way there but we are committed and like some of the others have said on here in the last few days we get incredibly excited at each little step of the procedure!  

Sorry I haven't got time to do personals, I have to go and clean the house in case SW decides to look round tomorrow.  Me and my mum spent two days last week cleaning from top to bottom and she didn't even look round but can't risk not doing it this time just in case!

Just a quick hi and welcome to everyone new and good luck Ruth and Kylie now you are so close to fulfilling your dreams.

Lauren xxx


----------



## superal

Hi Ruth

Will have my fingers & toes crossed for you today, it may be a little bit hard though as we are off to Alton Towers Splash landings hotel for today & tomorrow as a treat for the children, part of the half term break.

Will be thinking of you & look forward to reading your news when I get back.

Don't feel terrible for being judgemental over Boos form E - Yes it's easy to say this & that when you are on your prep course but when you actually get to read "stuff" about your little man, it does change things, you just want to hold them & protect them & like you say make up for the poor start he's had in his little life, you'll be a great Mum! 

DD starts Ju-Jitsu this Saturday, she wants to be like her Daddy, he's a 3rd Dan, black belt in Ju-jitsu & DS is a brown belt, taking his black in September, I'm the odd one out, it does not interest me! 

Love to everyone else, better go & pack!!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## keemjay

hiya all 
ruth - hoping all goes well today, por Boo, guess its hard reading all that stuff...

superal - have a GREAT time at Alton Towers 

welcome jilldill and rianna 

well prep course #2 went well , lots of information about the process, stuff we already knew but the finer details about CRB's, medicals, referees etc.  talked about all the reasons children are in the care system and what kind of parents we will need to be ie extra bloomin good ones  and who our support networks will be when things got tough and why thats so important.
highlight of the day was 2 adopters coming in to talk about their experiences and the children who were placed with them...made it feel very real and gave us a great insight into what its like. next week we will get to meet grown ups who were adopted as children and also a birth mother..should be really interesting. the sw's are great, really nice team and we are getting to know the other applicants a bit better. we have homework this week, but its all reading and answering questionnaires and its only for discussion next week, we dont have to hand it in...so all in all another great day. at times it did feel a bit overwhelming, but neither of us are having any doubts that this is the right way for us

take care all
kj x


----------



## jilldill

Hi Kj,
Thanks for the welcome. I am glad to hear your prep course is going well, I have to admit we had a really hard time with ours and didn't enjoy it. We are hoping to get to panel in April but have had one hold up after another so I am not putting money on it yet. We have found the home assessment fine on the whole, be prepared for every area of your life to be looked into. If you get a nice SW it's half the battle and we have no complaints about ours.
Take care Kj and good luck with your journey
Love Jill x


----------



## Ruthiebabe

yippeeee!!

well we had our visit and seen some photos and it's a go-er for us and little Boo!!! He's soooo cute! Looks just like his new-daddy to be!! (when he was little that is!)

can't quite believe it! jumping around and getting tear-y the next. 

Gotta start thinking about decorating his bedroom next!

i really never thought this moment would ever come.....i'm so happy!


xxxxx mommy-ruthie


----------



## saphy75

CONGRATULATIONS MOMMY RUTHIE  ​
I'm soooooo pleased for you hun   & I can't wait to hear more 

pam xx


----------



## kizzie

Ruthiebabe    
Thats great news.

He sounds gorgeous!!
Kizziex


----------



## jilldill

Hi Ruthie,
What wonderful news you must be over the moon!!!!
How old is your little one?
love JIll x


----------



## naoise

Ruthiebabe and Dh it all sounds really wonderful. I am soo pleased for you both.
You will both make great parents. 

LOL Keli


----------



## alex28

HURRAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MUST BE OVER THE MOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## keemjay

WOW GREAT NEWS RUTHIE!!!!!!   so excited for you


----------



## Laine

Ruthie,

Thrilled to bits for you both!


----------



## BunBun

Congratulations Ruthie & DH.
Great news


----------



## magenta

Congratulations Ruthie and DH!!!​ #

Sooooooo happy i could burst too.

magenta xx


----------



## Lauren

Congratulations Ruthie and DH - you must be so excited!  I am so happy for you both, you are going to be the best mummy and daddy in the world to little Boo.

Lauren xxx


----------



## Boomerang girl

Wow ruthie that is fanastic!!!!!!!!

can't wait to hear more about little boo.... timescale yet?

talked to my sw today- apparently the matching meeting will bein the next week or so and they re hoping to get organised for panel on the 4th april. as soon as they have had that meeting and tell us that is the pnel they are aiming for I am starting decorating he he he!

brill news ruthie- so pleased for you!


----------



## Ruthiebabe

thanks girlies,

have been out for a drinky with my some of my buddies who were our referees...and am opening a bottle of bubbly now for just me and DH.

we just bought two little things for his bedroom, just in case something else goes wrong.....some junglebook wall stickers and a postman pat wall measureing chart thingy....can't rememebr what its called now.

anyway the SWs are very keen for things to move quickly so they hope to get the paper work done quickly and go to panel in 6 weeks or so....!! BUT with the new system none of them seemed totally sure what forms they needed to fill in, so 6 weeks may be optimistic!

we'e getting a video of him next week! Can't wait!

love to all you girls on here, I'm probably getting ahead of myslef but being able to come on here and hearing all the great stories, and being able to have a rant in good company has been such a great sorce of comfort......love you all even though have never met you!

XXRuthie


----------



## KarenM

Ruth

That's great news.  Hope they get their act together on the paperwork front and you get to panel soon.  Have fun decorating his room.

Karen x


----------



## KarenM

Kylie

Hopefully this will be a good luck thing for you as 4th April is my birthday!!  Great news for you too.

Karen x


----------



## Mummyof2

Congratulations to Mommy Ruthie and Daddy dh (and little boo for getting forever parents).  Great news.

kylie - sounding good.  won't be long now  

Jennifer


----------



## Emcon

*Congratulation to Ruth and your Hubby, I hope the paperwork doesn't take too long.

Em *


----------



## Arniegirl

Congratulations Ruthie and DH! Brilliant news!
Arniegirlx


----------



## Boomerang girl

Karen- just wanted to say that 4th april will be two years to the DAY since we first rang up the kent adoption team to express an interest!! seems like fate.


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee mummy Ruthie,  

Welcome to the fab world of mummyhood. You are going to have the best summer ever. You have brought a tear to my eye. Can't wait for the next update. How old is Boo?

We have been away for a few days at my parents so pooh bear has been having lots of fun with grandma and grandad. He is such a litte monkey and has is grandma wrapped around his little finger, but she loves every minute of it. He loved playing on the toy bus in the childrens play area and was so funny when it stopped moving after the 50p ran out, he kept rocking back on forward on the seat to try and make it move. Also he will offer you one of his grapes that he is is eating but as you lean in to get it he pops it in his own mouth, we were all in fits laughing, but do worry that he may do this with a toy etc with other children, so we should not laugh, but he is so sweet it is hard not to laugh 

I have enjoyed having a week of work and am not really looking forward to going back next week  oh well, it pays for the little things in life. 

Welcome to all the new buddies on the adoption journey.

Will try to keep up with all your news now that i am back.

TTFN Mandyx


----------



## superal

wow - I go away for a day or two and when I get back there is so much good news, it is really nice to read.

I had my fingers crossed for you Ruth as I went down one of the water slides at Splash Landings so I'm glad everyones good wishes helped although its down to you & your DH that you deserve to be happy.

Can't wait to hear more about Boo, enjoy the decorating & 6 weeks will soon be here & gone & you will have YOUR son with you.

Kylie - I'm  a great believer in fate also, so fingers crossed for you for the 4th April.

Hello to everyone else.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Nats

Hi there

Just wanted to say CONGRATS to Ruth....wishing you all the very best!

I havent posted as I dont reall yhave any news....we are now nearing a year since we went to panel and are feeling slightly despondant with our SW..she has made no contact and recently found she was off sick..she is back now but nothing.
We knew it was going to be a long road, but our application was first accepted 2.5 years ago and it seems like our road is never ending!

Oh well, they cant magic them out of thin air, so in the meantime we sit tight and enjoy ourselves!

Catch you all soon

Natsxx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi Nats

sorry to hear youre feeling low. It's been 2 years 2 months for us so far an its still not deifnate with Boo (paperwork and panel to go yet), so I'm sure you won't be waiting for too much longer. Can you get onot them to make a nuisence of yourself....always works for me.

hope you get some news really soon,
XRuth


----------



## superal

Hi Nats

Just wanted to say welcome back to the boards, I have been wondering how you are getting on & I hope you get that important phone call soon. 

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Barbarella

Congrats to Ruth... fab news.   

Kylie - good luck for 4th April....!!    

Not much going on here... still haven't completed all our homework, as dh and I are still like passing ships in the night.  However, we did dare to look at some nursery furniture this morning.. perhaps a tad premature but I've stopped myself from window shopping for anything else.

I cannot wait until we can officially start looking...!!!

We're in the limbo bit at the moment... still a while to our panel...!!!

Love and luck to all...
Cxx


----------



## Mummyof2

Nats - big hugs to you and your dh.   I know how you feel as my dh and I are p***d off as well.  This adoption business seems to drag on and on.  We were originally told we would go to panel in October, then November, then January, then February, then March, then April and now it is to be May!!  Dh in particular is getting very fed up with all the delays and is half thinking of chucking the adoption route in but I won't let him.  It will be 18 months for us by the time we get to panel so probably 2 years until we get a child (if not longer).    I know we are very very lucky in that we have a birth child but we have been trying for a second child since he was 10 months old and he is going to be 5 on March 9th so I know all about the frustration and misery of waiting and waiting for a child to come along, either biologically or adopted.  I have lost 3 babies to miscarriage along the way and that is so painful emotionally.    And then we see on the news that a 3 month boy was murdered by his father and any one of us would have loved to have had him if he was not wanted    I wish we could all meet that man down a dark alley and tell him what we think of him 

Nothing much happening here, although we have been invited to a "meet the children" session on March 16th where we see art the children have produced and see video clips of the children waiting to be adopted.  Can't imagine those children will be in the age group we are waiting for (0-3) but we will go along and see. Just hope it is not too tear jerking to watch and know we will not be putting our names forward to adopt them as they are out of our age group - makes you feel very selfish I should think.  Perhaps that is the idea of the evening    or am I just being cynical  

I have just joined a mums and tots group as a helper to keep in touch with little ones.  It is only once a week for 2 hours but was fun and nice to be around babies again.  Didn't even need to mention that I had been crb checked as I was taken at face value so that was a bit shocking in this day and age, although the babies were all with their mums I guess.

All the best to everyone.

Jennifer


----------



## superal

Hi Jennifer

Just wanted to send you a big hug as well today, I've just read your message & know you are feeling down over being delayed going to panel.

I know exactly where you are coming form over the little baby boy that was murdered by his Dad, what a cruel horrible world we live in, I won't reapeat what I would like to do to people like that.

I hope you are feeling a little bit better today. 

Love
Andrea


----------



## fiona1

Hi All,

I am still around dipping my toe in adoption. I got info sent throught the other day, and am really intrested in concurrent planning. I bumped the thread up to page 1 but got no responces (except Superal) so i guess no one is going along that route at the moment

I hope you are all ok where ever you are in the journey
Fiona


----------



## Boomerang girl

the waiting for panel feels like murder enough without all those delays!!  not fair for you jennifer!

on a brighter note, Iam off to bluewater to spend money. lots of money. here I come daisy and toms, mothercare, elc, john lewis, and then carluccios for lunch to reflect!!!!


----------



## superal

Hi Fiona

There is a member of the boards doing concurrent planning at this moment in time - Tracey, she is most probably just off the boards at the moment but I'm sure once she has read your message she will reply to you.

I'll help you as much as I can if you want me to! 

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Thanks for the sympathy Andrea and Boomerang Girl - I'm ok, just plodding on.  Been to Boundary Mills spending money today - always cheers me up  

All the best to everyone

Jennifer


----------



## KarenM

Jennifer - I love Boundary Mills.  We went last weekend on a child free shopping trip!!  Hope May gets here qucikly for you.

Ruth - Have a good time shopping

Nats - Hope you get a call soon, can't believe where the year has gone.

Haven't read back too far hence the short hello.  But I will be back in the next couple of days and do a big catch up with you all.

TTFN
Karen x


----------



## Nats

Hi guys...

Jennifer....thansk for your words about the timing...for some people it seems to quick, yet for us we have had lots of waiting around for this that and the other and we felt that after a year of being approved we may have had something. We have our 12 month review in about 3 weeks...well i assume anyway, we havent heard a single thing from our SW. It was about 18 months for us to get to panel too. 

Andrea - Hi there...took a break for a while, what with work being busy and I was trying to pass the time by doing lots of nice things with dh!..   ..I mean living life to the full...  

Boomerang- Hope the purse came back empty and you spent every last penny!. Im not a great fan of shopping so cant rewally share your excitement...there must be something wrong with me!!   

Karen - Im guessing that life is hectic but fun for you with the 2 girls. I cant believe that they have been with you so long now...I agree that the time does fly....in some instances anyway!

Had our first weekend away in our new caravan at the weekend...it was only a trial run so we didnt look like novices when we went for a week at Easter!...a few little glitches but we had a great time....its so different to camping and much more enjoyable. DH said it wasnt so much fun towing the caravan over the Orwell bridge tho....we were all over the place!  . I havent be brave enough to have a go yet...but im pretty good at directing him onto a caravan pitch! LOL...

Oh well..Hope Monday brings lots of nice thing to you!

natsxx


----------



## EML

Dear Girls
I wonder if any of you can help...
I've just had a benign lump removed from my breast and have been told that there is a small chance that it could regrow (its quite a rare lump, but nothing life-threatening...thank goodness!). I'm now worried that it might affect our chances of being approved for adoption. We're just at the Prep course stage, and I don't want to go through it all and build my hopes up if I'm going to be turned down on medical grounds.
I hope someone out there can help...
Love
EML


----------



## Mummyof2

EML - can't help as I've not had a health scare but I just wanted to send you a   for the worry.  It is bad enough suffering infertility and repeated IVF failure and a miscarriage without lumps and operations as well.  Poor you.  I hope it doesn't affect your chances of adoption - don't see why it should personally.

All the best

Jennifer


----------



## momo

Hi Girls,

I haven't posted for a few weeks as been on holiday (if you can call it that). I hope you don't mind but i feel like i need a really good rant so here go's...

Went to Thailand on 2nd feb for a 16 day holiday to Bangkok  and Koh samuii. After the first day i became really ill with what i thought was food poisoning. I had really bad stomach cramps, vomiting etc and after a couple of days of no sleep, being unable to eat and the symptoms getting worse we went to a hospital in Bangkok who thought it was acute gastro-entritus so i was put on a drip and given antibiotics and spent the day there- it didn't really help and we had to discharge as we were due to fly to Koh Samuii the next day- after another sleepless night we flew to KS and i spent the majority of the jouney in the toilet, and that is where i spent my time once we reached the resort in KS. My DH coaxed me to go to the resorts restaurant in the evening as he thought i wasn't getting better for lack of food, i could hardly eat anything and spent another unbearable sleepless night racked with pain and also scary chest pains. The next morning we went to Hospital in KS. they were brilliant there and immediately gave me a much needed painkilling injection as well as a drip and carried out tests including an x ray and later i was taken for a ct scan which lasted about 2 hours, i was told after that there was a huge mass on my bowel and they were going to operate 2 hours later. I was very scared and phoned my mum before getting prepped for sugery, My dh was really upset when i went into theatre. I had a sigmoidectomy for sigmoid volvulus. A section of my colon had twisted around my bowel and was strangulating it and sections had gangrene- the part removed looked like a small mammal/alien. (the surgeon showed us pictures the next day). i spent the night in intensive care then moved back to our hospital room. I spent 10 days in the hosptital recovering attached to drips, had a tube in my nose draining my stomach, and was in a lot of pain- i've got a huge wound which had 30 staples in from under my chest down to my bikini line- so no more bikini wearing for me. We had to delay our flight for a week as i was not in a state to fly.  When i finally left hospital we had a week in the resort and it was nice to just get out in the fresh air , and to start eating again because i was not allowed any food/drink for 7 days after the op- only ice cubes to suck. I lost almost a stone in weight.

We got back on sunday after 3 flights and almost 24 hours of travelling- It is so good to be home and see reltives/pets again.  I went to my doctors yesterday and have been signed off work for 6 weeks, given more pain killers and will be seeing a specialist over here to check if all is well- apparently my condition is rare and i was very lucky because if i hadn't had the op when i did my bowel would have perforated and the gangene would have resulted in peritonitis and almost certainly death.  i am still quite shocked by the whole episode.

On the adoption front- i called our S/W yesterday to advise on what happened, (my D/H had called them rom thailand to tell them about the situation as we missed an apointment we were due to have) . although she was very sympathetic she said we would have to put panel back months now (we were due on 27th march).  Our doctor thinks that once i hae recovered my health will be improved and won't affect our chances of adopting- but our SW wants a full reprt from a specialist and then it will go to the medical adviosor on the panel. she also wants to see us again as she thinks there are gaps missing from the report.
i have to be a 100% fit when we go panel in acse there is an immediate match she said. I can't see it ever happening now and am so depressed.  Also when unpacking our cases we realised our camera had been stolen (just the case remained)- although the only pictures we had were of the hospital and the staff.  

Sorry about the long post but i just needed to have a good moan.  Some holiday!!!

Hope everyone is Ok and its nice to read all the happy events.( especially kylie & Ruth- how exciting for you both!)

I shall try & stop feeling sorry for myself now and should count my blessings!

MomoX


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## Mummyof2

Momo - what a terrible time you have had but thankfully you are on the mend now.   The unhelpful attitude of your sw doesn't help either although I suppose she is just doing her job but how very disappointing for you that your panel date has had to be put back (I know all about that - see my earlier post).  Social services certainly don't make it easy to adopt do they - so much red tape and "jobsworth"    Hugs to you and take it easy and rest as much as possible and get your strength back.

Jennifer


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## superal

Momo - sorry to read your message, you sound as though you've really had a rough ride & the last thing you didn't need is a SW who is unsympathetic. 

Sending you a hug.

Love
Andrea
xx


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi Momo,

talk about holiday from hell! You poor thing. But thank goodness they worked out what was wrong on time. You could ask your SW if a letter from your Doc assuring her that your condtion should have no lasting health effect (at lest none that affect your ability to be a good parent) would be sufficient to keep your original panel date??  And looking for the silver lining in the great big cloud, that she thinks there's a possible mach straight after panel is great. many of us on here have been waiting months and in some cases over a year post-panel for a match.

EML this is obviously only my opinion from what I've read, but so long as your recent lump and op have no lasting effects on your heath I don't see why it would affect your chances of adopting. You'll probably have your medicals done earlier than others, but that for their reassurance. I hope you fel better soon too!

bye for now,
XXXXRuth


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## kizzie

EML - my mum had breast cancer and Ive had various lumps investigated.  (I havent had any lumps removed but I have had to have needle biopsies done.)  This is all on my medical report and hasnt caused any probs.  They'll probably need a letter from your specialist to confirm its benign but hopefully wont have any other affect on your application.  Fingers crossed   

-------------------------------

Momo - Im so sorry to hear about your 'holiday'.  We went to Koh Samui for our honeymoon and it was covered in a black smog -  looks like none of us have had much luck there   
I had peritonitis when I was much younger (my appendix burst and doctors didnt realise).  It was dangerous at the time but once it was sorted out it hasnt caused me any other problems.  So hopefully they will realise its just a one off isolated incident.

You must be so fed up about the delay its caused but it does sound really positive that your SW thinks that you will be matched quickly.  I know its not what you want to hear but it really is better for you that you are 100% better before a child arrives - you wont get any rest then  

Hope you are really spoiling yourself!!!
Kizziex


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## alex28

momo - what a nightmare!!!! glad you are back now safe and sound and taking it easy for the next weeks  and hope things sort themselves out with Sw and panel dates etc. xx


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## Boomerang girl

Momo I'm so sorry your trip was ruined and worse than that you have been so poorly nd had everything put back on the adoption front!


I've had a pretty disappointing day today myself.  I got an email from my sw to say strawberry's sw will be busy with court cases until the april paperwork deadline, so will be unable to meet before that- so no april panel now- they are planning for may. I find it so upsetting to think that this is a straighforward case- strawberry is already freed for adoption, we are a good match, there re noissues for her or us, and our papers were sent out to be matched with her mid december. Now the earliest we will have her is mid may- five months later.  Red tape, paperwork, social workers on leave a lot, this is just not fair. Iknow we are lucky and the match is still going ahead, but I am just so gutted that yet another month has gone by now. (if it wasn't for all the delay at the start- dec/jan, we could have made march panel!!) so, five months out of a little toddlers life, it just does my head in.  

I am the sort of person who has a rant, a cry and a sulk then manages to see the positives so hopefully I will be able to think of some within the next couple of days, but if one more person tells me to "try and enjoy the time you have left as a couple" I will explode.  DH switches to nights the week after next- all put in place so he would be home days and early evenings when we adopt. now its ten weeks until that will happen- so I will be working days, he will be working nights and we won't see each other.

Why do they have to make this so hard?


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## KarenM

Momo - what a nightmare. Nothing worse than being nill at the best of times but to be ill when you are so far away from home.  Glad you got the care you needed on Koh Samui and hope you get better soon.

Shame your SW couldn't have been more empathetic to your situation and fancy only realising after you should have gone to panel that things were missing.

EML - Hugs to you.  Like the others have said I don't think that this will affect your chances, but as Ruth said they may ask you to have your medical earlier.

Kylie - Sorry to hear Strawberry's SW can't get her act together.  I would have thought a priority would have been to get her moved and into an adoptive home.  Having said that though SS messed around loads with our two but boy am I glad they did as they might not have been mine right now.  Keep your chin up, Strawberry will be home soon where she belongs.

Hi to everyone else.  Hope your journey's are progressing nicely

Not much going on here.  The girls are really excited about going on an aeroplane for the first time.  Eldest asked if I was driving it!!  Youngest just keeps putting her arms out like wings and going "Neeeeeooooooowwwwmmmmmm"  !!!  Eldest has started dance classes but all she does is chew her t-shirt (winds me up) and chews her fingers during class but then as soon as we are home she does all the moves.  Youngest was going to but wouldn't stay without her Mummy.

I have a night of studying ahead, two 3,000 word assignments to do and planning for my dissertation.

TTFN
Karen x


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## everhopeful

Kylie

Sorry to hear everything's dragging out for you. I remember feeling it's one thing after another, and you wonder if you'll ever get there. You will! And believe me, although it seems an eternity away now, those weeks will fly by and she'll be home before you know it! We met our dd on Friday 13th  May last year - and it wasn't such an unlucky date at all! She came home with us on the 23rd May. So I believe May will be just as lucky a month for you, as it was for us.
In no time, Strawberry will be the boss of your house, and you'll forget all this misery - it'll be like she's always been there!

xx


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## Boomerang girl

ever and karen,
you two have just completely topped off my night!! i remember when your matches were going through- I never believed really that it would happen to me! and your words of confidence really do make the difference. You having been there makes me believe it will happen for me too.  
Karen- yes you would think strawb's case would be a priority- and in my eyes, much easier- a day's paperwork now puts her in her "forever family" a month sooner?  it really has been one thing after another- we know (becuase they told us) after our papers went out from the matching officer we were the only couple she recommended for strawb. our papers sat on that sw's desk for 3 weeks. then our sw complianed- so they reassigned. then it was another month before we met her sw (due to pre booked leave) then ours and strawb's sw pulled out all the stops to get an appt with the foster parents in half term, then our sw was on leave, then strawb's sw was off sick, now all the court stuff!!!!  so the thing is its not really anyones fault its just bad timing after bad timing- but awful for us- personally as a couple waiting even longer- and with me as a teacher the diference is finishing at the end of term as opposed to part starting another... but truthfully even more awful for us thinking of ourselves as straw's parents to be- our little poppet just an hour or so's drive away but another month away from us!!  Boooo Hooooo!!!

on a better note though, tonight has really taught me something special. Dh has always been a total "from Mars" man- like the bloody "from mars" special service if you ask me!- not only never talks feelings but gets cross if I am annoying enough to have an emotion!! tonight it transpires he is not only really disappointed, he is telling that to me and his parents, and he said to our other "adoption parents" friends on the weekend that although now he works every hour under the sun- trying to do everything he can at work for future promotion- he thinks once we get strawb he will find that too hard as he will be wondering about what he is missing out on seeing his little girl do at home.  On top of that, the reaction from dh's mum and dad tonight (strawb will be their first grandchild- dh's sis doesn't want kids and it is only the two of them) was amazing- they are MORTIFIED at the delay- MIL was telling dh how it should be march not may, and they re both trully upset. it has just proved how loved she will be in our family- and that has really really touched me.  Grandma and Grumps are gonna love little strawb so much!


I feel I should get back to being positive and update on the bluewater shop.

Daisy and Tom: manhattan toy company polar bear rug- soooo cute- and soft (s likes soft things, nd dh eyed the rug off when we were going through tx, saying "one day when we have a child we should get this"- that was a very emotional outburst for my dh!!) plus a bib that looks like a strawberry

ELC- stripey wooden deck chair

John Lewis: swim suit (although its an 18-24 months which might be a waste of time!!)

The White company: the worlds cutest white and pink floral PJS- with pink ribbons!


we were all set to do the BIG shop in two weeks- but will put it off until easter now- but I can still do girly shopping trips getting luxury bits now can't i?


ever- may should be good Ihope- our wedding anniversary is the 9th so if we go to may panel with the date they gave us, we might meet her on the eighth- I'd almost be tempted to ask them to put it back to the next day for sentiments sake but I know there is no way I could take a day longer than I have to, to meet her!!

thanks for cheering me up and spurring me on
xx


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## keemjay

just reading todays posts and seeing  how a few hours has turned you around kylie! i was cursing with you at the delays with strawberry in one post (how frustrating for you that things are dragging..think i'd be the same, every minute is precious at that age)  and then further on i find you all upbeat again  thank the lord for these boards where there's always someone who can carry you along when you're flagging  great that you dh is coming out with such lovely things, sounds like someone is excited at becoming a daddy  love the sound of your shopping purchases.. i noticed the ELC deckchairs too  and yes you can def do some more shopping 

momo - what a mare for you!! I'm so sorry your trip turned out so horrible and that its a double whammy with panel being put back. i really feel for you. i suppose you just need to concentrate on getting better, you have been thru a lot and it will have taken its toll on you..your body needs a good time to heal from it all. you are still on this earth thank goodness,and are still going to be a mummy one day soon.....

karen - made me smile reading about your eldest and her dancing/chewing class...she'll join in in the end hopefully 

nats - well done on your trial camping trip  we are planning the same when it gets warmer (we have no heating in our old camper) but for us its a trial to see how camping goes with our 5 month old puppy!! i like the idea in principle but I think he might still be a bit too much of a handful as he absolutely cant be trusted not to run amok, he'd have to be tied up nearly all the time which i dont think would be much fun for him  still we'll give it a go for a night and see how it goes....

we had day 3 of prep course today, boy it was a tiring day! lots of info about contact and telling the child their story. and lots of info about the post-adoptive services. we met an adopted girl in her 20's who told us her story, an adoptive mother who told us about how contact works with her 2 adopted children and then heard from a birth mother about having her 2 taken from her and how she still sees them 10 yrs on and how their contact works and why. all really interesting and plenty to think about. we now have our formal application forms and have to take it all in next week and we will get to meet the sw who'll do the home study..all feels like its moving along really fast now...prob dont want to get into that way of thinking judging by what most people say on here about delays!! 
my mum has beern looking after doggy today and we got back to hers to find he had stolen and eaten a packet of raw mince, an apple, a doormat and jumped up and licked the lodgers prawn sandwich (she is a very particular girl and was horrified!!) my poor mum..i think she wishes she'd never offered to dog sit!

right brains addled so better get to bed

good wishes to everyone 

kj x


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## kizzie

Oh kylie how frustrating   

It just doesnt make sense does it.  

Still on a happier note - I LOVE Daisy and Tom!!!  Think I'll be making my way there too when its our turn.

Sorry Ive probably missed this - how old is Strawberry?

Kizziex


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## Mummyof2

Kylie - how very disappointing for you and dh.  I know all about delays due to sw.  Grrr.  Finally our referees are being interviewed on Monday - this was supposed to be done in November!  As you say 5 months is a long delay in a toddlers life and you are missing out on some vital milestones as they change so much at that age    Hugs to you.

Jennifer


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## superal

Hi Kylie

Sorry to read your message over the delay in meeting Strawberry, nothing any of us can say will help the time go by but you know we are all here for you to shout & scream at.  I know that's what I would be doing & going on more spending sprees! 

Molly 2003 is in the same boat as yourself at the moment, she's still waiting to hear more news about her baby, may be you two can swap ideas on how to pass the time & stay sane at the time. 

Sending you a hug!

Love
Andrea
xx


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## everhopeful

Hi Kylie

Just to add to my last post - we were approved as dd's match on the..... 9th May - omen for you or what?!  


Sending lots of positive vibes your way

xx


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## alex28

Hi guys, well its over, our first SW visit!!!

Phew ! no it went really well and our SW is very nice and very easy to talk to.  I wont go thru everything that was said but we have booked our next 5 visits which will consist of 1 individual visit with her then 3 more as a couple.  We have a provisional panel date of June!!! so the paperwork must be completed by mid May at very latest so lots to do!

She was surprised was did not have our medicals done as thought the SS would of arranged that and also that our referees had been contacted.  We also had to think of another referee as mine did not know my DH and they required people who know us as a couple.

So all in all a good 3 hour session and a date to look towards which is great!


sorry for me post will catch up later as have to go with DH to measure for some decking!!!


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## Nats

Alex - thats great news, its always nice when you feel you are able to talk with your SW because theres some pretty personal stuff to discuss...either that or my SW loved a good old natter!   

KJ - Glad the prep group went ok....they really are tiring arent they!...so much to take in, with so little time!  

Kylie - Sorry they are dragging it out, but im sure you are an expert at waiting and being patient...you will get there..

Jennifer- seems like we have both been getting frustrated with the waiting!...maybe we wil laugh about this one day....maybe not..    

Hi to Karen, Ever Superal, Kizzie and everyone else.

Natsxx


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## cindyp

Hi Ladies, still off-line at home hence the rare and short visits.

Kylie, sorry to hear of the delay, so frustrating for you.  I know how you feel as our DS court hearing was supposed to be in the November and then got delayed until January.  Hopefully it won't be long until little Strawberry moves to her new patch   

Karen, how the hell are you managing to fit studying into your life??  I struggle to do the ironing.  How is your Dad?

Good wishes for everybody else, hopefully next week I will be able to get on-line and do a proper catch up.

love
Cindy


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## kizzie

Hi everyone
Just had our final home study visit.  All seemed to go ok.    It seems to have flown by. Hoping for May Panel but Sw still has to interview 2 of our interviewees and we have a big family so she has lots of people she still needs to see so not sure we'll meet the deadline.  Looking at June if not. 

On the down side though she did say that matching etc seems to have been a bit affected by the new laws and that we might find some delays with that    So Id better start practice being patient.  

Hope you all have a lovely weekend.

Kizziex


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## superal

Hi Kizzie

Well done on another hurdle climbed over, your home study now finished.  It won't be long now until your at panel, it does seem to have gone by quick. 

Thanks for keeping us informed as to where you are up to.

Love
Andrea
xx


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi ladies,

TFI friday! even though it means another week of life has gone by!

I've nothign new to report, except a quick questions about nerves. To put it into context I had a major case of cold feet about 2 weeks before my wedding (5 years ago). Obviously i got over it and have never regretted it since. But I've been having a few of those feelings lately. I think I'm just freaking out about the impending parenthood, even though its what i've been trying to acheive for nearly 5 years! Did anyone else get nervous before their littleones moved in?? It's not making any sense to me, but am worried all the same......  

am i going a bit mad?? 

Well done kizzie on finishing your homestudy so fast! 

XXRuth


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## Mummyof2

Ruth - I can remember feeling like that when I was pregnant with my son - did I really want to give up all the freedom I had and the come and go as I liked.  And sometimes I have a wobble re adoption and think do I really want to go back to having a little child to look after again now that my son is almost 5 years old and so easy to look after.  I also can remember thinking did I really want to get married and also do I really want to buy my own house and panicking a bit about them as it seemed so final.  I think it is just human nature to panic a bit at the unknown. I'm very very glad (with hindsight) that I bought my own house, got married and had my son so I'm hoping that I will feel the same way about my adopted addition to my family.  Hope my waffle has helped  

Kizzie - well done on finishing your home study.    You are at the same stage as me but it has taken us much longer to get to this stage than you so well done on getting it finished so quickly.  That is how it should be for us all in reality.  Shame it takes so long for some of us   I wish that social services and police checks would work more quickly to rush us adoptive parents through.

Cindy - nice to see you popping on.  I look forward to hearing from you more when you have the time.

Karen - I am also impressed with all this studying and your children so young    Well done.

Hi to everyone else.

Jennifer


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## alex28

Well done Kizzie for finishing your home study - im way behind you but have been told June panel as well so fingers crossed!!

Ruthie - i think its totally normal to have these feelings - we have a ponder every now and again knowing that our nice easy life will be turned upside down into chaos but its what we want is'nt it!  Yuou will be fine - keep drinking the gin and all will be ok   

KJ - hurrah for finishing your prep course - HS next eh!!

Kylie - How lovely that you all your family are getting really excited too - bet they can hardly contain themselves!!  cant wait to hear more news from you.

Hope everyone else is ok, we have no visits next week from SW then our 1-2-1's the following week which DH is dreading - we bounce off each other when talking etc so he's really worried about sitting their with the SW and does not know what to say as he really has had the "perfect" childhood etc and worries that may go against him in some way  

Hope all have a great weekend whatever you are doing. xx


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## superal

Hi Ruth

RELAX!  everything you are feeling is normal, it is a big change that is going to happen to you and your DH lives & if you didn't wonder what on earth you were letting yourselves in for then you wouldn't be human. 


You'll be great parents & you'll enjoy life to the full with your new addition to your family.

TFN
Andrea
xx


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## kizzie

Ruth - i think those feelings are totally normal.  In some ways it would probably be more unusual if you DIDNT feel a little bit nervous because it would mean that you werent really considering the impact of the changes etc.

But you WILL be totally fine - and you'll love having your little family!  

Re. our home study - i think one of the things that helped it go quite smoothly is that the SW set all the dates on her first visit - so we knew exactly when she'd be coming and for how long.  We also did one every week.  (Only prob with that was trying to get all the mountains of homework done in between in each meeting - lots of late nights  )

We will still be seeing her a few more times though because she is interviewing our referees / seeing family members at our house because they are all from quite a wide area and it was easier for everyone.  Think I'll be buying lots of nice biscuits over the next few weeks!! 

Also we'll then have the '2nd opinion' visit - probably in about a months time.

(We've got a sessional Sw so after panel we'll be transferred to an agency worker which will be a bit strange after getting so close to her but we would have been delayed by months if we'd waited for one of the agencys own SW's - they are just so busy.)

Soooo long way to go yet - and I think June is more realistic than May but nice to reach another  !!

Kizziex


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## alex28

kIZZIE - WE TOO have a sessional worker and will be allocated a diff one after panel so i will be watching your posts with interest to see how this goes.


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## Laine

Hi everyone,

Alex - Glad your first visit went well.  It's good that you have all your dates too.

Kizzie - Your HS went quick, well done on completing it.

Ruthie - I can imagine those feelings being normal.  You will make a great mum, hang in there.

Jennifer - Hi there.

Cindy - Nice to see you posting.

KJ - Glad you enjoyed your Prep Course.

Kylie - Hope things start moving for you with Strawberry soon.

EML - Sorry to read your news.  Hope things work out for you  

Karen - Sounds like you are busy with the studying  

Momo - Sorry to hear about your holiday. Gla you are on the mend now.

Hi to everyone else.

Finished writing two more essays last week.  Spoke to our sw today and we finally have our first HS visit on Monday.  Hopefully we will book our appts in advance.  I should imagine she will give us an indication of our panel date too. (Going to ask if she doesn't say it)  .


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## jilldill

Hi Kizzie,
I was just wondering what a "second opinion visit" means is it as obvious as it sounds a second SW coming to the house? I have never heard of this.
Thanks Jill x

Hope everyone is ok I know there are a lot of frustrating waits for people at the moment. We have been waiting 3 months for DH police check to come back, mine arrived nearly a month ago which may add yet another month on before panel!
Take care all x


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## Mummyof2

Laine - great news that your home study is about to begin  

Jilldill - a second opinion is where another social worker comes out to visit you (one off visit only) and check that she thinks you are as the first social worker has said in her report.  Our social worker told us that all councils will be bringing this in under "good practice" soon and it is nothing to worry about.  Sometimes the second social worker will be the first social worker's manager or sometimes just a colleague.  Basically, it is just to get a second opinion on you as a couple as sometimes there can be a personality clash or you and your sw can get too close and flaws cannot be seen objectively.

My son has chicken pox so I am being Florence Nightingale and he is being a poor little spotty boy    Hope he gets better soon as he is 5 years old on the 9th of March and has a party with loads of children coming on the 11th.  

Bye for now

Jennifer


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## jilldill

Thanks Jennifer,
I guessed thats what it would be it's just never been mentioned so I don't know if it is something that my Social Services do.
Hope the chicken pox clear up soon thanks again for the info
Take care all Jill x


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## LB

Laine

good luck for Monday will be thinking of you both
great to see you moving with the HS - bet you can't wait

LB
X


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## alex28

Laine - good luck for your homestudy - if its any help we  found our SW really nice and very easy to talk to. xx


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## Lauren

Alex - glad to hear you're getting on well with your SW and got all your dates booked in for her visits.  We've just had our 3rd visit with our SW and she is hoping to get us to panel in June so looks like we'll be panel buddies too!  I was totally paranoid about the 1-2-1's expecting my dh to be with her for about half an hour and me to be in there telling her way too much for hours.  In the end dh had over 3 hours of her time and I got left with about an hour before she had to leave!

Laine - great news that you're finally starting your HS. Hope it all goes well today when you meet your SW.  I'm sure she will be lovely.

Kizzie - well done for completing your HS, must be a real relief to have got all the work out of the way.  Fingers crossed for not too long a wait for panel.  

Hi to everyone else and hope the chicken pox clear up soon Jennifer!

Our SW is on hols for 2 weeks now but not a prob cos have loads of homework to do in the meantime.  Her next visit is going to be to interview my 4 step children - arghhhh!  I shouldn't really be worried cos I know they will be great - just can't help being paranoid that something is going to go wrong somewhere along the line!  Anyway the step children are the easy bit, its the ex wife I probably should be worrying about!

Take care everyone.

Lauren xxx


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## Laine

Hi everyone,

Kizzie & Alex - We have a sessional worker too    

Lauren - Glad to hear things are moving for you.

Jennifer - How is your son?

Jill - hope you get your dhs crb back soon.

Hi to everyone else.

Our first visit went well, our sw stayed for about 2 hours.  We talked about various things (no particular structure).  We both have our one to ones booked over the next couple of weeks.

Laine


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## Mummyof2

Hi Laine, glad to hear the hs visit went well.  I've been thinking of you. My son is on the mend thankfully.  He has been really poorly with the chickenpox and even had it on the soles of his feet and inside his ears and eyelids.  Thanks for asking  

Regards

Jennifer


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## KarenM

Sounds like some of you are now going great guns with your home study.

KJ - LOL at Caleb.  My dogs are just the same would forever pinch my husbands dinner when he was working late.  Glad the course is going well

Alex - great news about panel in June.  Good luck with your home study.

Cindy - Hi - can't wait to have you back on line properly.  Hope you and your lovely chap are doing great and that you have settled in to the house.  Dad is doing ok - thanks for asking.  He's been home for a few weeks but has DVT.  It is almost sorted but they thinned his blood too much.  He's still waiting for a referral to ENT as they scratched his voice box in the op and he can't talk properly.  Aside from that, he's eating really well and is starting to build some stamina up.

Kizzie - hope you can get the may panel date.  Fingers crossed

Ruth - your feelings are totally normal.  I had them too and don't regret a minute.  You are taking a huge decision to alter your life in a way you can't quantify right now.  But believe me it will be worth it.

Laine - Glad to hear you are underway with your home study

Jennifer - hope your little one is getting better and that he is will be well enough for his birthday and his party.

Well I have had 3 days off work decorating my eldest's bedroom.  She had an aversion to the decor we had done and was having some night terrors so it has been done in her choice of bright pink with Disney Princesses.  At the same time we decided to graduate her from cot bed to normal bed, so its her first night in it tonight.  We had some problems doing the new wardrobes so consequently a day of studying had to fall by the way side.  I think I'll be going back to work tomorrow for a rest!

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

TTFN

Karen x


----------



## alex28

Laine - i have replied to your PM and then read your post here so dont worry about answering those questions about your LA etc.  Doh!!!


----------



## keemjay

hi all 

karen - what was so frightening in your eldests bedroom - i'm trying to think what you could have chosen that was so terrifying?!

laine - glad your first visit went well  did you ask about panel 

jennifer - pleased to hear your littlun is on the mend - sounds like he  had a horrid time of it  sounds like he'll be fine for his party 

jilldill - apprently we get a 2nd opinion visit too....

we formally applied at yesterdays course - feels like a bit of a   was hoping to meet our sw but apparently thats next week. yesterday was a lot more tiring, dont know why, just felt drained at the end. lots about looking at our identities and what makes us who we are, our roles in our families, family trees etc. lots about attachment disorders. and a great role play thing, with the sw acting as an abused child..and us all playing roles of her mother, father, grandparents, temporary foster carers, sw etc all - was to show how many people go in and out of a childs life when things arent going well and why children are frightened to attach to anyone in the end...very powerful message...if a little depressing  have been given lots os stuff to get started on for the homestudy - tho no pressure to complete it yet, just start getting our heads round it. last course next thurs  the dog behaved better for my mum this week..only ate a gardening glove....they seem to have bonded better this week..my mum can get him to obey commands so she's feeling very pleased with herself 

love to all

kj x


----------



## KarenM

KJ

It was only fairies, but she kept saying they were watching her and didn't like her.  Some of the stickarounds glowed in the dark so that could have been it.

Karen x


----------



## alex28

Karen - hope little 'un is ok now and she slept well in her new bed!! 

KJ - great news about formal applicaiton, hope your SW is nice too!

On our 1st visit last thursday ours said she would chase to get our referees written to.  Friend called this morning to say she had received forms etc and would get them back asap to her.  Pleased that things seem to moving along so well at the moment - just waiting for the bubble to burst...............sorry that sounded so negative...... but you know when you having been thru IF things are going good etc for a while then it all goes wrong and i keep thinking the same will happen as things are going so well at the moment.

spoke to a friend yesterday who has adopted 2 girls, she very very kindly said that she was very happy for her and DH (she lawyer, he doctor) to read any forms E's we would be given in the future if we wanted them so as she knows its very easy to be blinded and not look objectively at them etc etc.  Thought that was really sweet of her.

Well off to my friends later (usual weds meet up for gossip and tea!), DH is actually home for once mid-week so he;'s off for a curry with the boys - lucky bugger - im dieting so no lovely ruby for me


----------



## naoise

Hi everybody
Hope you are all well, I have been lying low the last few days as I have had a tummy bug and now I have got a kidney infection. So I haven't done too much, has anyone had to write about your family's attitude to food we have to for our next visit and I am not too sure what to say. 

Alex I know how you feel about thinking that things are going to go wrong, I feel like that sometimes, but I try to think positively.

KJ well done on your formal application you are well on your way now!

Jilldill we aren't getting a second opinion as far as I know.

I hope everybody has escaped the horrible bug!

LOL Keli


----------



## Mummyof2

Keli -sorry to hear you have been poorly.  I know that virus is doing the rounds, as is the flu type one which is the one I had and it was horrible.  For the food thing, I just put that we eat healthily and gave examples.  I put we had occasional treats and meals out for celebrations but they were the exception not the norm.  Social worker just wants to see that you know about sensible eating and nutrition and won't give your adopted child lots of junk food and sweet stuff to ruin their teeth and make them fat.  If you don't know about feeding a child properly (I'm sure you do  ) but just in case, there is loads of info on the web or at the library.  I am overweight but I pointed out that I had attended both slimming world and weight watchers at different types so knew all about sensible eating, although I don't always put it into practice  

All the best

Jennifer


----------



## keemjay

well i have to say I'm mighty impressed - we only handed our fromal application in on mon and at least one of our referees has their letter, and the doc has our forms for our medicals!! but like you alex, I'm thinking surely it cant all go as well as this!

keli- get well    I had a kidney infection years ago and it was the most excruciating pain I've ever had. you have my sympathies

kj x


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

sorry to hear some of you are not feeling well. I had that flu thing last month and it was really horrible.

Also wanted to say thanks for your kind comments in relation to my panicing nerves. feeling much better now!

Got a phone call last night from a SW who is going to drop a home video of Boo in to our house either today or tomorrow....can't wait! Maybe it'll stop feeling so un-real once we actually see him runnign around and doing stuff. They've also applied for a panel date, but don't know when it'll be yet.

nothing else to report.....hope all the sick folk feel better soon, and the progress continues well for all you others,
XXXRuthie


----------



## superal

Hi Ruthie

I bet your so excited about seeing your little man running around on the video your SW is going to drop off for you.

This will make it seem so real once you've watched the video, over & over again!   Once we saw a photo of our DS we realised this was for real & this cheeky little boy smiling up to us from the photo was going to be our son, it was a fantastic feeling.

Enjoy watching your video of your son BUT don't wear it out!! 

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## alex28

Ruthie - WOW!!! you must be sooooo excited waiting for the video to arrive - wont be long now and he will be in your arms......

KJ - wow your LA are really quick!!  We had to wait till we received our prep course report before we could apply but at things are moving well now!!

Got a letter today from SS to say call our docs to arrange medical and then msg on phone from docs so mine is sorted for next week and will call DH to arrange next week also.

All 3 refereees have paperwork now which is good..........let it continue..........PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hope everyone else is ok, Kylie - any more news honey


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Karen - so does your dd like her new bedroom?

KJ - glad things are moving quickly for you.  I did ask about panel and our sw said she likes to book it part way through the assessment.  Will leave it for a couple of visits then ask her again.

Keli - hope you feel better soon. 

Ruthie - how exciting for you. Can't wait to hear about Boo.

Alex - glad you have your medicals booked and that your referee have their letters.

Hi to everyone else.  Hope you are all ok?

All our referees have sent their references back.  Our family referee doesn't have to write a letter, the sw just visits them.  Received an e-mail from our sw this afternoon with more homweork to be completed for the next visit.

Laine


----------



## naoise

Hi all!!

Just popped on to say Ruthie you lucky duck you must be on   tell us all about it I am dying to hear.

Alex and Laine good news about your referees, seems like things are moving along nicely, every little bit is like huge milestone isn't it.

I'm off to bed and hopefully get some sleep tonight!

LOL Keli


----------



## jilldill

Hi All,
Things are moving on my DH's CRB form has finally arrived after nearly 3 months!! Our last referee was seen yesterday so as it stands we have one last session 20th March where I am hoping she will say we will make April panel.
Hope you are all well and things are moving forward take care all love Jill x


----------



## superal

Hi everyone

Nice to read everyones journey is moving along nicely, some quicker than others but your all on the same path to parent hood.

I'm under the weather at the moment I must be coming out in sympathy for all you other lovely ladies who have been ill recently, DH thinks it's great...why..........I can hardly speak, a really bad sore throat & all the Doctors say is rest & drink plenty! 

Hope your all OK, have a lovely weekend.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Lauren

Hi everyone,

Andrew - sorry you are not feeling well.  This flu bug, lurgy thing seems to be doing the rounds.  The awful weather probably doesn't help.  Hope you feel better in time to enjoy some of the weekend.

Jill - thats great your DH CRB forms are finally back.  Its difficult to understand the logic behind why everything happens at different speeds depending on how you are, where you are, etc.

Laine - glad things are moving forwards for you.  Every little step means so much doesn't it?  How are you finding all the homework?  I have to say (sorry I sound like a right geek) but I'm actually quite enjoying doing ours.  Me and dh are finding even more out about each other (all good!) and its really been quite interesting so far.

Alex - I totally understand how you feel about worrying that something is going to go wrong.  I think after all the disappointments and let downs with tx it is almost too good to be true to believe that everything could be actually going right for us for once.  I am a born worrier but I'm really trying to chill out and not worry until and if something is worth worrying about!

Ruthie - have you seen the video yet?!?!  How exciting!  Can't wait to hear all about it.

Keli - hope you got a good nights sleep!

Hi to everyone else, hope you all have a good weekend and may the spring weather arrive SOON!

Lauren xxx


----------



## Boomerang girl

Hi all,
Ruthie brilliant news about getting boo's video- and if they have applied for a panel date it MUST be soon then!

Also thrilled to hear Molly's news that things are going well for a matching panel.

Been a bit quiet as I've no news to tell and combined with shocking PMT (Misery guts Kylie!!!) I'm feeling a bit down.

SW says the fierst her and strawberry's sw can meet is the 17th march but they are still trying to arrange someone to chair the meeting.  IF they get that done it leaves them about three weeks before the dealine for paperwork for may panel.  Seems like it should all happen- ifit doesn't our hearts will break- another month will be torture (this match has been a hassle free one but still going on since december!!). Its even harder as my workplace is making arrangements for my cover, and now they are working to may for the implementation. it makes it very difficult if it goes on another month. Its not very straightforward finding a replcement. I teach in a specialist class in a special school and to put it frankly there aren't many people round who could do it- its very hard for them to set up the right cover that will suit the boys on a one year temporary basis.  

every night I look at strawberry's picture but I'm no longer expecting it all to happen the way I want it. Our SW asked if we'd made our intro video yet- (that would involve decorating the room) and we explained we'll do it when they have done the matching planning meeting.  I don't feel emotionally I can decorate or do thevideo, saying "hello XXXXXXXX I'm your mummy" until they confirm they are going to panel.  DH just thinks they need to pull their finger out and until they do they shouldn't expect us to. Ithink he is taking this quite hard now its so close but so far away. still its me that has to talk to sw all thetime, so me that sounds like the pain.  every day everyone asks us "any more news yet?" then they say oooooh, it must be so hard and Ijust say I am trying not to think about it (hint hint!!).  Hopefully the next couple of weeks will bring a matching planning meeting, good news on when we re likely to go to panel, and along with it a video. also once the witch has gone I won't be such a hormonal misery guts!

sorry about the moan. moan moan moan.  I should have learned by now that take LIGHTLY what SW's say about timescales- its gone over every step of the way- and as I said- we aren't exactly a complicated case!

I know it will be worth it in the end. we re blessed to be beingmatchedwith such a hppy, beautiful, healthy and settled, and clever, and fun, and active little girl. I shouldn't really moan at all.

k
x


----------



## everhopeful

Awww Kylie

Sorry you're feeling down. Keep your pecker up, the time will fly and she'll be home before you get chance to say... Strawberry!!


 xx


----------



## superal

Kylie:- Don't apologise for moaning, I would do exactly the same in your situation.

Just like molly, you've known about your little girl for quite a while & SW have dragged their heals for one reason or another over you actually meeting your daughters.

As for the PMT you have my sympathy, plenty of chocolate & shopping helps me get through it   A good excuse to go & buy yourself something, YOU not Strawberry!

I hope the days pass quickly for you & also hope that your friends will appreciate that things are taking their time & to give you some space & stop asking questions.

Please feel free to moan as much as you like, were hear to listen.  That's all I can do at lthe moment, voice is slowly coming back but still very painfull throat.

DD is ill at the moment as well, she is really hot, high temperature, shes asleep at the moment & I keep going in & checking on her & sticking a thermometer under her arm & waking her up.  Calpol has brought down her temperature but shes upset that shes had to miss Ju-Jitsu this morning!!

Take care everyone.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## keemjay

aww kylie, poor you, i'm not a bit surprised this wait is taking its toll on you...it must be sooooooooo hard just hanging around, waiting,waiting, and added to that the work situation. i dont think i'd want to do the video or decorate either..its too much emotional investment in something that just isnt set in concrete yet. Andrea's right, go and do something for YOU to bide the time, spoil yourself, do some things that you wont be able to do when strawberry comes. do ANYTHING that makes time go quicker  i find walking good for the soul when things arent going the way i want....

andrea - hope dd gets better soon. sounds like its a house of germs there!

well all our refs bar one have had their letters, i havent seen it but apparently is quite a lengthy form. one friend has kindly read to me what she's written and it was soooo lovely, i had tears in my eyes.
I'm trying to book our medicals but after 3 phonecalls the docs still dont seem able to sort their act out, dont know why it seems so difficult to book  hoping to get a phonecall monday from someone who apparently knows the system for medicals....
we are going to an adoption uk local meet on tues. by joining AUK we automatically got tapped in to a nearby support group but so far havent managed to get to any meetings...looking forward to meeting some new people 

have nice weekends everyone 

kj x


----------



## magenta

Kylie - it must be sooo hard.  I think the idea of doing things that aren't realated to becoming a mum might be good.  Could you go away for the weekend to somewhere 'non child friendly' or arrange a dinner party.  things you might not be able to do for a while.  not that it will take away the wait - but it might help to gibe you other dates/things to focus on.

Jill - great to hear that the CRB is back!  another milestone for you and dh!!


Superal - hope DD feels better soon. 

No news here - just waiting for the final final final form 'f' - one without spelling mistakes at last! (not that i am a pedant or anything )to sign and post back.  We are booked in or panel on 6th April at 1.30pm.  

We got our copy of CWW yesterday and have decided to request details on two children.  We reckon it might be worth putting our names out there just in case we would be a good match for these wee ones.

Anyway...better go.

magenta xx


----------



## jude2

Hi everybpdy,

not been on here for ages but just wanted to say hello to you all and congratulations to all with matches etc.

Our news is:  we went to matching panel and were approved!  We start intros end of the month so should have her home by earlyApril.  I am so excited.

Kylie, we heard about little one in December and matching was not until 23rd Feb.  And then we had to wait for decision maker.  I know what you mean about everybody asking you about what's happening.  It was great to finally be able to say yes it's definite.

Ruthie:  I know exactly what you mean.  Was on my way back from shopping today (buying very expensive blind for littly's room: all our windows are enormous so have to have everything made) and suddenly had this huge fear feeling.  Oh my God what am I doing I'll never be able to go out ever again sort of thing.  But I think it's totally normal.  Feel fine again now.  Just going to watch my video  of littly again in fact.  

Love
Jude
xxx


----------



## superal

Hi

Thought I would just pop on here again while DD has another sleep, apparently its best to just let her sleep, keep giving her Calpol at the appro times and make sure she drinks.

Keemjay - we gave 3 peoples names as references but our SW only took 2 up on references, this might have happened with you & explain why 1 reference hasn't been contacted, just a thought.  How nice that your friend told you what she had wrote, of course it would be all good!  

Magenta - Good on you for being active & looking through CWW, I noted that you are intreseted in 2 children that have appeared in there, I hope this works out for you, at least you know what kind of children are out there.  Don't give up hope on getting a baby either, we got a baby girl of 9 months who is now a very poorly 5 year old, flat out asleep on the settee!

Jude - just read your post CONGRATULATIONS - can you remind me how old is your daughter you have been matched with, I'm hopeless at keeping up to date with everyone.  Early April is not that long away, have you got things organised, bedroom decorated etc.

DH & DS are keeping themselves busy in the garden, getting ready for our extension to our house, I'll be glad when it starts but will be even gladder when its finished, I'm not very good at waiting & you would have thought after adopting on 2 separate occasions that I would be used to waiting.

Got to go DD has woke up & is crying for her Mummy! 

TFN
Andrea
xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Kylie - sorry to hear that everything is taking so long.  How disappointing for you.  My friend who adopted her ds in 2004, missed her ds's 1st birthday (he was still in foster care at that time) due to delays with sw's not getting their act together and she was so upset about that.  Hugs to you.

Andrea - so sorry to hear that dd is so poorly.  Sounds like it could be this flu virus thing as that gives very high temperatures.  My son had it and then kindly passed it on to me and we were very poorly for a week.  Then, a couple of weeks later, he got chickenpox so more broken nights and nursing.  I am shattered but he is on the mend and that is the main thing.  He had a big party for his birthday yesterday with 18 very noisy and very active children at a local soft play centre.  He had a lovely time.  Hope your dd is soon better - sure she will be.  Hugs to you for the worry and stress.

Hi to everyone else.  One of my referees has now been interviewed (one and half hours of intensive questioning  ), another one is being 'done' on the 17th.  That just leaves my mum and she has been contacted by sw but not managed to get back in touch yet to arrange an appointment.  My referee was told that sw feels a summer holiday placement would be best for our family due to already having ds.  Hope she means this summer and not next  

Jennifer


----------



## superal

Good Morning everyone

I feel like a Zombie after nursing DD all yesterday & her not appearing to get any better we took her off to our local GP out of hours service which is attached to our local hospital.

You ring first & your details etc are taken & then a Sister rings you back, talks to you & she could tell I was getting stressed so she arranged an appointment in 30 minutes of my original phone call.  I think the Sister was just as concerned as we were as DD temperature was now reading 39.9!

A very nice Doctor looked at her & examined her & she has a "virus" we were told to give her Nurofen as well as the Calpol & this did bring her temperature down.

She woke this morning after sleeping in our room again, we've just took her out of her toddler bed, she was way to big for it & put the bed in the loft.  DH had to get it down again last night to put it in our room, he was really worried about her but needed to get on with the garden yesterday.

When she woke at 5.30 am this morning her temperature was up again & we gave her just Nurofen & this has brought it down again.

I think its going to be another day of playing Mummy Nurse BUT I really don't mind she seems alot happier today & not as drowsy.

Hope veryone else has had a bit better weekend than what we've had.  I wouldn't swap this for the world though, having your children need you when they are unwell is a lovely feeling, you feel sorry for them that they are unwell but at the same time its great to get those extra cuddles, I'm sure Jennifer will agree after her son was ill not so long ago.  (well done for surving the birthday party Jennifer!)

TFN
Andrea
x


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

Jude, congrats on th matching panel....you'll have to remind us all how old you daughter-to-be is.

And andrea, i hope DD feels better soon. We just finished doing our extension in december, and our garden looked like a battle scene from WW1. Hope you've not got too pretty a garden cos it's  be a mudslide by the time the builders are done!

We had our video of Boo to look at over the weekend, and he's so cute. Eating his brekkie, rugby tackling him FM while she was trying to video him. Shouting "cheese" to the camera all the time. Then out in the backgarden playing with a fooball, and then jumping on a little trampoline. I just can't wait to meet him in person.

anyway better get on and do soem work now,
XXRuthie


----------



## Emcon

Hi, I hope everyone is ok

Our SW called this morning and we have signed off our Form F, we are due to go to panel 29th March which I am starting to feel quite excited but nervous about.  I had dreaded reading about myself in the Form F but it was alot better than I thought.  SW did seem to go on alot about how we were feeling about going to panel, I just wanted to say relieved as I feel it has taken so long but we just followed the party line of "fine".  She also told us that there is no possible match (which we were very disappointed about, someone off our prep course went to panel in February and was matched two days later, I do try to remember that what is a match for one couple is not always right for another) she then went on to say that there are lots of children about to enter the system, we both felt quite excited by this comment but I do feel that our gain is going to result in someone elses loss and this does make me feel sad at times.

Kylie - I can completely understand your frustration, I feel frustrated constantly by the whole adoption process so I can only imagine how you must  be feeling to be so near but so far.

Magenta - What is CWW, our SW has told us we will not need to look at things like be my parent is CWW similar?  Are we being naive in putting our faith in our local authority to match us?

Jennifer - we too have a son and our sw has said that the summer holidays would be an ideal time for us to be matched, but like you I do wonder which year she is referring too!

I hope everyone else is ok.

Em


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi Emcon,

CWW is "children who wait"....so another magazine just like BMP. I don't know about all LAs, but ours were very reluctant to let us go out of county, even though it took 7 months for someone to come up within the county. I suppose 7 months doesn't seem that long in hinesight, but it felt like a really long time when we were going throught it. I started looking through BMP and CWW when there was no news from our LA, as legally they can only make you wait in-county for 3 months. I'm not sure if this pressure made them look harder for an in-county match, but I don't think it was a hinderence either. 

don't know if this is helpful at all...

XRuthie


----------



## Mummyof2

Em - exciting times then    Well done and hopefully it will be this summer holidays for us both


----------



## Emcon

Ruthie/Jennifer

Thanks for your replies, do you know if the three month rule still applies with all the adoption law changes?  I think I will start to mention this to my sW about looking in CWW and BMP if we do not hear anything for a couple of months after panel.  I will probably start to look before three months are up!  

Jennifer, it does seem like exciting times hopefully we can be matching buddies.

I will keep you posted.

Em


----------



## Arniegirl

Hello all, 
Looks like lots is happening for everyone at the moment. Good luck with all those going to panel or matching!

Ruthie- your little boy sounds great in the video! Hope it goes well!
Kylie- Hope the waiting doesn't get you down too much!
Good luck everyone else(sorry, I'm not totall up to speed with all names yet)

Well, our news is that our references have been requested. Seems quite early, as we haven't done prep course yet! They like to get them in before that so that they can dis cuss any issues on home study, I think!My best friend sent me a copy of hers and it was lovely! It's quite a strange feeling to have something so formal written about you by a friend! My boss has to do one, as I teach, and she says it is all very positive!

How exciting!
Take care, Arniegirlx


----------



## alex28

Just a quickie

Great news arniegil- good when things tick along nicely!!

Had medical today - all fine and have my 1-2-1 with SW tomorrow - will update more after that.

Hope you are all doing ok. xx


----------



## kizzie

Alex - ive only just noticed your signature.  Congratulations on losing 31 lbs - thats is absolutely brilliant    

Kizziexx


----------



## alex28

Thanks Kizzie thats really nice of you to say so.  Its blimming hard work but so worth it for the results!!!!!

just had 1-2-1 with SW, all went fine, very emotional talking about things etc but she is so nice its really easy to chat with her.

off to plant some bulbs in the garden now!!


----------



## Tracy C

Hi Girls,

Was wondering if I can join you.  My DH and I have decided to move on to adoption as I can not face the thought of more treatment.  Adoptions seems a much more positive step for us now.  We are having to wait until summer before we can pursue our interest as recently had a failed Frozen Embryo Cycle.  We have registered our interest and I have been advised to look at the suggested reading material and have ordered my first book today.  Also volunteered for riding for disabled to get some more hands on experience.  Feeling much more positive.  I also feel a sense of relief at the thought of no more hospital appts.  Guess this is normal!  

I do not think for one minute the adoption journey is easy, however, feel happier to pursue this now than keep chasing empty dreams.

Looking forward to getting to know you all.  

Really been great to read all your posts, am getting to grips with the process already.

Love
TracyXXX


----------



## Arniegirl

Welcome Tracy,
I know what you mean about a sense of relief when you begin looking at adoption. We felt the same.
Hope your adoption journey goes well!
Arniegirlx


----------



## Mummyof2

Welcome to you, Tracy


----------



## Tracy C

Thank you so much for the warm welcome.  Good luck with your journeys too. 

XXX


----------



## *lisalou*

hi everyone

was hoping somebody could help me, we have had 2 failed ivf and 2 failed icsi, m/c last june   we r planning 2 have another icsi in june this year but also want 2 look into adoption either in this country or abroard, where do we go frm here 

love lisa xxxxx


----------



## superal

Hi Lisa

Welcome to this section of the boards.

Sorry to read about your 2 failed IVF & 2 icsi.

Go ahead with your June icsi first & hopefully things will work out for you, you never know, that's the hard bit, not knowing!

Reference adoption, you will have to wait until you have been clear for 6 months of trying any treatment before a SS will even look at you, times can vary, some say even longer as you DO need the time to come to terms with not having your own birth child.

You could always ring your local authority and ask for an adoption package to be sent onto you, there is no harm enquiring you'll just not be able to take it any further at this moment in time.

I;m sure others will offer their good words of advice also.

Good luck
Andrea
xx


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Lauren - I quite like doing the homework too    Have you had your one to one yet?

Alex - Pleased to hear your medical &  one to one went well.  What bulbs have you planted?

Tracy - Welcome to the thread.  Look forward to sharing your journey with you.

Arniegirl - It is good when you read nice things about yourself.  Glad things are progressing for you.

Emcom - Great news on your Form F being signed off.  Not long until you go to panel.

Kylie - I can understand your frustration too.  Hope things improve for you soon.

Jude - Hi there and well done on the matching panel.

Andrea - How is your dd, better I hope?

Jennifer - Really hope that your sw means this summer too.  

Magenta - Hope you hear good news about the two children from CWW.

KJ - let us know how the adoption uk meet goes.

Lisa - hi there!  good luck with your next tx.  I would ask for an information pack and get an idea of what your LA has to offer you.

Hi to everyone else.

Laine


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## alex28

Laine - my DH says too many!!!  Lots of narcissa, crocus, pansies, some climbers etc, plus some bulbs yet to flower thus why i brought some flowering ones already to add a wee bit of colour.  I have lots on order too whcih will arrive mid april for my baskets, trailing surfinas etc..........i brought some lovely strawberry planters at the weekend - you know the ones which have about 6 holes for different plants to come out of.....DH thinks im mad, he commented earlier that im turning into my mother and becoming really mumsy as i went and got some ring binders and poly pockets to put recipes in that i find!!!!!


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## gillywilly

Hi all
Its been a while since I posted but its been busy between homework and school work (teacher) dont know how I am coping.
Just wanted to let you know we have been shocked to find we have a panel date for the 10th April as long as we get paperwork finished by next Friday?!!!

We wont be at panel because we are of to Texas but this is fine apparently!!!

Amazing to read the board and how busy it is. Seems the next few months are going to be life changing for some of us.

Gill
Trying not to get too excited


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## superal

Gill...come on get excited your allowed to!! 

Going to panel soon & your trip to Texas, I would be excited! 

Hope everyone is OK.

DD is off school again today, she went in for the first time yesterday & wasn't 100% but had been jumping up & down on her bed so thought she should go in.

I met her after school to be told by another parent that 5 members of her class have this "virus".

DD woke up today & has a temperature again but nothing as high as it was, she is now fast asleep on the settee after watching her favourite video "the lion king", she looks so sweet!

Catch up later with everyones news.

Andrea
xx


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## alex28

Gill - i know about your panel already from CRM - but HURRAH again from me!!!!!!

Andrea - how cute must DD look??  i love that film too!!!


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## lisaw36

Hi girls,

Sorry I have not been in touch for so long but have been reading all your news.  A big hug to Kylie - as you know Kylie I have been following your story closely with us being with the same LA and I am keeping my fingers crossed that you get some more positive news soon.    

Hello to Tracy and Lisa.    I can only echo everyone else's advice Lisa and ask for an information pack from your LA.  There are some good websites too, try BAAF (British Adoption and Fostering).  

We are still waiting to hear from social worker that we can continue.  As the rules have changed we now get a letter after we have been assessed from our prep course asking us if we wish to continue and we have to sign this and go back to them saying yes please consider us as adoptors.  Then we get allocated our sw.  The sw's were having their meeting on 9th March to do all our course's assessment and then their recommendations go to head sw and then her sec sends out the letters.    Suppose I must get used to all the waiting.  

On the personal side, my mum has just been diagnosed with breast cancer.  We are waiting to hear whether she needs a lumpectomy or mastectomy.  She has had a barrage of tests and we will know what tx she needs tomorrow evening.  Whatever way it goes she is being positive (although obviously scared  ) and we will face it all together as a family. 

Anyway just thought I would drop in to let you know that I hadn't forgotten you all.    There is some really good news on here at the moment and it always gives me a boost thinking that someday I could be one of the ones with the exciting stories.  

Lots of love to all the dd and ds out there - especially the little ones who have been poorly recently. 

Love
LisaW
xx


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## alex28

Lisa Sorry to hear about your mum - hope tomorrow bring some glimmer of sunshine for you all.

Have just spoke to one of my referees about what she wrote about mine and DH relationship - strengths, weakness etc and she read it out to me, i cried!!!! it mentioned that despite thr trying times we had ensured in trying to conceive, neither of us put blame on each other etc - so nice of her!!!!!!

we are looking after her kids next week so i will get to read it all then!!! 

Off out with the girls tonight for cups of tea and gossip..... have a good night everyone. xx


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## fiona1

Tracy C - I see you are from Kent and have to wait 6 months before you can start the adoption assessment. Can i ask what part of Kent you are from (not town just mid,south ect)

I may go down the adoption route in time and was under the impression Dover area doesn't make people wait the 6 months?

Good luck with your journey

Fiona


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## cindyp

Hi Ladies

Finally back on line after 3 months away, hurrah!!!  Call me a wimp but I don't think I'm going to be able to read all the back posts.

Ruth, must be excited at the idea of seeing Boo on video, can you fill me in on his age as I think I've missed it along the way.

Jude, congratulations on your match, how old is your little girl and when do the intros start?

Lisa, so sorry to hear about your Mum, our thoughts are with you both for tomorrow.

Karen, glad to hear your Dad is doing better but a shame about the DVT and the voice box.  Hopefully they'll get it sorted soon.  Decorating on top of the studying, you must be shattered.  I can just picture your little girl in her new pink room.

Andrea and Jennifer, my sympathies with the poorly kids.  Unfortunately I'm with you all the way, my DS and I both had the flu virus (only benefit I lost half a stone which is now being regained due to PMT choccie munching   ).  We managed to recover from this and then my little darling picked up the stomach virus leading to projectile vomiting and explosive nappies (mainly late at night).  I always thought I was squeamish but after cleaning vomit out of my hair in the early hours of Tuesday morning I realised that I'm tougher than I thought.  Like you Andrea the one positive aspect for me was that my DS (who normally pushes me away when I want a cuddle/kiss) just wanted to lie on the sofa cuddling me all day.  Although it would have been better if he hadn't been poorly it was very nice lying on the sofa, catching up with TV and getting extra cuddles.  Fortunately he seems to be on the mend now so I should be back at work tomorrow, shame   .

Jennifer, I'm sure your SW means this summer.  Must be so good to be on the final stretch after so long.

Kylie, this last bit is the worst in a way, knowing you are at the end but being forced to wait that little bit longer.  I remember when we were matched to DS and were expecting him home for Xmas but then his freeing hearing was delayed and it was another 2 months before we knew he was definitely coming to us, it was one of the worst Xmas of my life waiting for the hearing date to arrive, full of uncertainty.  I know it's hard but hang in there.  Personally I found red wine and chocolate helpful through that time but then again I find them helpful through any time.   

Gill, congrats on the panel date, going to Texas sounds great do you have family there?

To the new ladies, welcome and to everyone else on the journey (we are becoming too numerous to mention which is great   ) hope you are all well.

Does anybody fancy a meet up some time.  Karen, Ann and I have met up a couple of times and it would be great to put faces to names and to meet up with other people's little adopted darlings??

Catch up soon going to watch the Apprentice.

love
Cindy


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## KarenM

Sorry girls but this is a quick "me" post.  I am going to be a bit scarce with my prescence on the boards for the next few weeks as I have been drafted in to do a major project for work for the next four weeks.  So I am commuting to Birmingham everyday, picking the kids up and sorting them out and then doing the day job  in the evenings and the study too.  Poor Rich!!

Anyway I will be reading regularly but just not posting due to the time constraints.  I have asked some of the mods to check in and make sure you are all ok.  I will be thinking of you all  and wish you all continued success on your journeys

Karen x


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## gillywilly

Hi all
Well here goes I have taken notes and I am going to try and do some personals. Any tips? 

Lisa - I am sorry to hear about your mum. I hope the sw dont keep you waiting tooo long. I remember that was so hard ours were busy and it was 6 months plus!!
Andrea - thanks for your kind wishes it means such a lot to know people are excited for you.
Alex- how wonderful about your referee its so weird no other time in life would your friends write about u.
Cindy - yep my sister married a Texan so the whole family is going over and they are having a wedding blessing so its sure going to be exciting!!!
Karen - good luck with the big project at work and your busy few weeks ahead.

Wow I did it!
Hi to everyone else at each stage of your special journey.

Well for us 8 days till paperwork has to be in !!!!!!!!!!!!! Then sw off on hols then us and 25 days till panel if we get paperwork in!!!! 

Love Gill


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## ♥ M J ♥

new home this way ladies

good luck

xxx

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,51718.new.html#new


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