# New over-40s girl....



## LisaLLJ (Jan 3, 2013)

_[I just posted this in the Newbies section too - but think the over-40s would be a good place to start!]
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Hi everyone,

Well I am slightly wondering how I ended up here, as I would not have expected to be here a few weeks ago, thought I had my life sussed and all was well.

My name's Lisa and I am approaching 44 (in March), been with my husband for nearly 22 years and he has just turned 41. We got married in 1995 and started trying for kids in a non-serious way (you know, 'if it happens it happens'), when it hadn't happened after a couple of years I went to my doctor and he sent me for a few tests. Nothing really came of it. We kind of forgot about it and got on with our lives, then when I changed doctors a couple of years later (guessing I was around 31 by this time) he seemed like a more sympathetic guy so I started it up again. Ended up doing all the usual tests, found out I was low on a hormone (forgive me but can't remember which now) which meant I wasn't releasing eggs, so I did a year of Clomid. I can honestly say we still didn't go at it like rabbits or anything, and at the end of the year my doctor pretty much told me that IVF was our only option.

So call us foolish but we looked at each other, said how happy we were on our own and got on with our lives.

Then we had Christmas 2012. What had changed? I don't know, but a lot of factors, friends having babies, being around friends and their kids, the husband turning 41 and BAM, we were suddenly confronted with the fact that we had been suppressing our sadness for years about not having kids and we had to see what could be done. A few days of serious soul-searching and chatting and I find myself here, hoping beyond hope that I can find a way to make it happen.

My first thought was surrogacy because of my egg problem, but with research it seems egg donation might be an option for us. I was pregnant at 18 with a previous partner and had it terminated so I guess medically there is no reason to think I couldn't carry.

So that is my story, I find it difficult to be this open, but I have had a chat to myself and know I have to lay myself open emotionally and mentally to be able to get through this.

The stories I have read on here have been really inspirational and I hope I can keep myself grounded and prepared for all outcomes.

Thanks for listening...

Lisa x


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## LisaLLJ (Jan 3, 2013)

So....been doing a lot of research and have come across the Eugin Clinic in Barcelona which seems ideal.  I can see a few people on here have tried it but it seems too good to be true - a 61% success rate for over 40's?  

Any thoughts on this - any cons to go with those pros?


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## JAD (Jun 14, 2012)

Hi Lisa

Welcome to FF.  I have just read your post..and find your story similar to mine..(I am 41 in March). FF has really helped me over the last year with my IVF cycle, just reading the posts helps when you are at your wits end in the dreaded 2 ww.  It is good for you to express your feelings.
I to left it too late bit just presumed it would happen in the end. 

I have also been told that DE is the only option, we are going to the UKCFA in Cyprus (make sure you click on the correct site) in March, take a look at their website, it does sound amazing that the rate is 60%, my Gyne also told me this, 15% if my own eggs which has proven not to be successful.

Hoping you all the best !  any questions let me know.  The over 40 Forum is a good place also.

Jane x


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## LisaLLJ (Jan 3, 2013)

Thanks Jane!  Good to meet you on here and I wish you SO much luck with your ED.  Still getting used to the lingo on here, so hope that is the correct terminology.

For us it is amazing to find out there is a chance at all - having been told 10 years ago doing IVF was our only chance, would take forever and cost a fortune for very little chance of success (as I had egg probs) it seems incredible to look it up again and find things have changed so much.  To be honest it is such a shock we haven't quite taken it in and need a few days to come to terms with what it could mean.

It's so easy to 'leave it' isn't it, time goes so quickly and it's easy for people to judge.  I really hope you have a positive outcome and will check out the clinic you mentioned, thanks 

Lisa x


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## Coolish (Jul 10, 2012)

Hey Lisa - welcome to FF!

I follow a couple of the over 40s boards but spend more time on the DE (donor egg) boards as they fit me a little bit more. A lot of the over 40s are using OE (own egg) and the prototcols (treatment plans) are very different. People are really friendly and will answer any questions you have. Don't forget we've all been in very similar positons in starting out on DE IVF.  

Personally I went over to Spain but to Instituto Bernabeu in Alicante. I was unsuccessful there and have have had a few extra tests done and will be going over to a new Clinic this year - Serum in Athens. 

So many clinics have glowing recommendations from ladies here on FF, but it's working out what you need from a clinic and then a gut feel when you contact the I think. There's lots of information on DE that will help you work it out. It can be daunting, but there are lots of experiences on here that will help you.


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## seemedlike4eva (Jan 26, 2010)

Hiya Lisa,
Similar story here...new DH had azospermia before we married, but as I'd been pregnant before assumed that I was OK, so didn't start ttc til I was 36, at that point all tests on me were fine. Didn't manage to get pg with DS from 3 proven donors, so looked into going abroad - to cut costs and waiting time!- and using DE + DS.
8 years later, I'm 44 and still    for a miracle. We have opted for Czech republic, because most of the population there is really fair skinned, which is the only thing DH have in common looks wise. I'm small & dark, he's tall & blonde. I've just started the meds for our 3rd try at Sanus, it's going to be a fresh cycle, with significant discount because the 2 FETs failed. I have 2 friends who had healthy babies from this clinic last year, so I know they can do it.
I had an endometrial scratch biopsy done in October to help implantation this time, will take 20mg of prednisolone & a clexane injection after embryo transfer, also trying a gluten-free diet.
Good luck with whatever and wherever you decide upon x


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## Moragob (Apr 1, 2012)

Hi Lisa

I thought I would reply as I am one of the over 40's Eugin success stories on first attempt, so I have nothing but good to say about them - this of course has to be balanced by the fact that we were successful!  

I turned 45 in the Nov and went to Eugin for my first appointment in March last year and am due on March 4th this year.  We had a bit of a delay between first appointment and actually signing up simply because we decided to do most of our required tests after the first appt and  prior to signing up and I had to have a couple of tests repeated due to inconclusive results.  Once we signed all the paperwork, things moved extremely quickly.

We found Eugin extremely professional and their set-up is impressive, they are very open with information and took the time to answer all of our questions seriously and helpfully and also gave us a copy of the information they went through at the first appointment.  My only criticism is that they were sometimes slow to reply to emails and I was unable to phone during working hours as I have no mobile reception at work and also work in an open office so can't have private conversations, however, they did always respond and when I was able to phone they responded very promptly.  I was also impressed when I was contacted in Nov to check how my pregnancy was progressing.  They appeared to be honest and open about the process and the risks and after some fairly bad experiences in the UK with consultants telling me I was too old and should accept that I would be childless this was a welcome change.  They do insist on additional tests once you are 45 so if you are seriously thinking about this then I would suggest getting started as soon as you can.

My feeling is that the clinics all have strengths and weaknesses and it will all depend on reasons for the difficulty in conceiving - my history is that I have conceived naturally 5 times since I was 36 but miscarried each time in the first 12 weeks.  I have been to 3 clinics in the UK and none have found a reason for this so DE seemed the sensible option for us as to simply carry on with such a high risk of mc was not an option for me, and although I knew there was still a chance of mc with DE it seemed a lower risk.  I had two embyros transferred and miscarried one at around 8/9 weeks which was fairly difficult but have had an extremely healthy pregnancy with the other.  I am now 32 weeks and feel great, still walking the dog and managing 8 miles once or twice a week!

There is a Eugin thread on here as well which is a bit quiet at the moment but if you post someone will respond, and you will get thoughts from people like me who have been successful as well as others who were not but are going back for further attempts.

I wish you luck, however you decide to proceed and if I can be of any further help, let me know.

Morag


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## karen71 (Oct 19, 2012)

Hi, I'm similar, I found time was running out, for years I kept telling my dh that my clock was ticking etc, then suddenly I'm 38 and it's a big shock because you don't feel like you've got much time, and your to old for kids, I don't feel to old but thats what people make you feel. I'm now 41 and just starting our second try at IVF.


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