# Surrogacy and single Ips? Legalities



## clairekentuk (Mar 21, 2007)

Hi, Ive been considering being a surrogate for many years. We have 4 gorgeous children and feel very blessed and would like to give back something as we have no way to ever thank our donor. I am married and my husband and I made the decision to persue this. Is it possible as a married woman to be a surrogate for a single woman and for a single gay man. The legal information is confusing. 
Also where do people go to find potential IPs? Im on a few ******** groups but knowing it is illegal to advertise it is difficult to approach the subject. Also I have looked into agencies but they insist on the IPs paying very high fees. I couldnt accept anything other than the bare minimum, these fees look very high to me and since I have had my family thanks to the kindness of another I couldnt take expenses because if I did find a couple and we were able to work together I would not want to rule them out because they cant afford it.


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## ♀Craig♀ (Mar 11, 2010)

Hi,
What a wonderful thing you are considering doing  

The laws in surrogacy are very complex, but easily followed.
Your best bets would be to join a surrogacy forum or network and speak to experienced ip's or surrogates who I've found to be most helpful with newbies.
You can also follow journeys as they progress.

You say that your family won't be complete for 18 months or so yet so you have plenty of time so get to grips with everything 

As for expenses, there would be expenses no matter what, and as an ip myself, i couldn't expect a surrogate to go out of pocket for my/our gain.
There are lots of costs involved after all!

Agencies are not for everybody, but a lot of people use them as a safety net, so they have somebody/something to fall back on, but having a network of friendly people can give just as much support if not more, without the costs attached.

Advertising the need for a surrogate, or your services as a surrogate is indeed illegal in the UK, this is why your maybe best joining the surrogacy networks and forums to make 'Friends' and you never know what could happen 

Any questions please feel free to ask, or PM me.

Craig


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## clairekentuk (Mar 21, 2007)

Thanks for the reply. The signature was writted more than 3 years ago when I was pregnant with number 3. We went on to have number 4 and now we are considering surrogacy. The pregancy developed into a boy who turned 3 last week and we also had his brother who was 1 also last week.
Im looking into surrogacy now. I do plan to have one more of my own because im greedy but we are unsure whether we plan to go ahead now or be getting to know Ips for longer before we decide. Im not keen on the agency idea but you are right it is a good way to meet Ips. The only reservation I have is that I do not want any money involved and I know agency fees can be high. My donor was kind enough to do so and I would like to do the same for a couple without them having to suffer financially.  If anyone knows of any good places eg ******** where Ips, surrogates hang out I would be grateful, if not i may have to reconsider :-S Ive been put in contact with other surrogates a couple experienced which is great but they have not been able to put me in touch with IPS as they are currently looking for a match themselves.


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## nostalgicsam (Jul 1, 2005)

Hello and welcome,
what a wonderful thing to want to do for someone  The english law states that IP's must be married to meet the requirements of a PO (this is a parental order which transfers the legal parents of the child from the surro mum to the IP's therefore I'm afraid it isn't possible to help single people via surrogacy.  It is lovely that you want to help a couple for no expenses, though I agree with Craig there are expenses even if they are small as you need to think about all the what if's such as if you were in hospital for any length of time and needed childcare for your own children, you may need to travel to clinics a lot where the IP's live, legally you need life insurance and wills so there are costs involved.
I agree it is very hard to meet surros or IP's without joining a fee paying org such as SUK or COTS, SNUK is free to all though and you will find some of us from FF on there too, where you can chat with other surros and IP's, I think it's totally stupid and typically british that surrogacy itself is not illegal but advertising for or to be a surrogate is, how you're supposed to magically find each other is beyond me LOL
There are very few other places on the net to seek out surros and IP's that I know of.
Anyway were here to help and I've been through it all so am always here for any Q's, hope this helps a bit, please feel free to ask me anything more
Sam


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

nostalgicsam said:


> The english law states that IP's must be married to meet the requirements of a PO (this is a parental order which transfers the legal parents of the child from the surro mum to the IP's therefore I'm afraid it isn't possible to help single people via surrogacy.


Hi in fact the law changed in April 2010 and you don't have to be married to get a parental order- you can be unmarried or same sex couple- in an enduring family relationship.

Lxx


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## clairekentuk (Mar 21, 2007)

I think this is true with an unmarried surrogate but with a married surrogate, as I am, I believe that my husband would be legal father regardless of biological status if it were straight surrogacy. if i were not married then the bio father could go on birth certificate and a parental order could be obtained or this is what ive been told anyway. perhaps one of the legal team could clarify.


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Claire
Natalie answered this a while back, I think as long as your DH stated legally that he was not part of the conception then it can be overcome.



NatGamble said:


> Hi Guccimama
> 
> If your sister is married at the time of conception (rather than birth) her husband will be your child's legal father at birth, unless it is shown he did not consent to the conception. In an ideal world it would be best if she was divorced before she conceives, as her husband then has no involvement in things at all. If this is not possible you will need to think about how you 'show' that he did not consent (which may be by way of a legal statement or other evidence). Otherwise, the court may want to involve him in things and to seek his consent to your parental order.
> 
> ...


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## D&amp;P (Jun 29, 2009)

Hi Claire

To answer one of your question about being a married surrogate, as you say, you and your husband will go on the b/c, and if your IP is a single woman and a single man (gay or straight) they won't meet the conditions to apply for a parental order as IPs have to be married, civil partnered or in an enduring family relationship.  This mean single IPs cannot legally get the b/c altered via a parental order and extinguish you and your husband rights and responsibilities for the surrogate child.  

The law does not prevent you from helping a single woman and a single man but it would leave things legally unresolved unless the IP tried another avenue like adoption.  In your circumstances (given your marriage hasn't broken down), I don't believe, it would be legally appropriate for your husband to say he did not consent to the conception, to try and avoid being the surrogate child's legal father at birth.  

Hope this helps or feel free to PM me on here or SNUK?

Stuart x


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## clairekentuk (Mar 21, 2007)

Thankyou for the reply. I would not be willing to lie in court, like you say it wouldnt be appropriate when he would give it his full support and could end up backfiring.
I wouldnt be totally against chancing it, it would depend on the situation with the IPs and like you say it depends if they are more concerned with the legal title or being a parent. Everyone has different opinions and they can always adopt if they want sole rights...


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Hi Clairekentuk (and everyone else).  Sorry for the delay contributing to this but here is the position on the legal stuff you are asking about:

* If you are a married surrogate, you and your husband go on the birth certificate, and this then gets sorted out when a new birth certificate is issued after the grant of a parental order.  In certain rare circumstances you can show that a surrogate's husband does not consent and therefore does not need to be recorded as the father, but he has to not consent as a question of fact rather than just saying this is the case, and the bar is pretty high.  In practice, it's much easier (and makes for a much more straightforward parental order application) not to try and play the system, and just to name him on the birth certificate in the first instance, knowing that it will be rectified in due course.

* To apply for a parental order, IPs must be either married or living together as partners in an enduring family relationship.  Single IPs can't apply (which personally I think is very wrong, but we tried to sort this out and failed when the HFE Bill was in Parliament in 2008 - the government seem to think that surrogacy is such a serious undertaking that only couples should do it   ).

* Being ineligible to apply for a parental order is quite a serious thing, and don't just assume that adoption offers a straightforward alternative where a parental order is not available.  It is, for example, in certain circumstances a criminal offence to arrange an adoption 'privately' without the prior involvement of an authorised adoption agency/local authority (i.e. they have to match you, rather than you just agreeing who is going to adopt the child) so you need to take great care with this.  There may be ways around the rules but it takes careful planning.

* If you work with a single IP you also need to take great care about leaving him/her with unresolved legal status.  Being a child's legal parent and having the authority you need to make parental decisions isn't just a legal title or a nice thing to have - it will give your IP the authority he/she needs to be able to care for the child in practice, and social services could get involved (and there could be criminal offences etc) if things are not properly sorted out.

Sadly, my advice would be to work with a couple as IPs given the state of the law in the UK at the moment, or to make sure you have a clear plan in place as to how you are going to sort things out post birth (either through adoption or another lesser type of court order) if you do work with a single IP.

I hope that helps, and best of luck - you have the power to change someone's life and it's an amazing gift to be considering.

Natalie


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## clairekentuk (Mar 21, 2007)

Thankyou for the reply. That clears a lot of things up. What would happen if the IPs split up or one of them died before a parental order is granted?


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Excellent question! There was a recent case in which the IF died after issuing his parental order application but before the order was granted, and the High Court held that it could still make a parental order because he had been alive when the application was made (see http://www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk/blog/2011/07/12/court-awards-parenthood-to-deceased-father-in-surrogacy-case/). They wouldn't be able to do that if one of the IPs died, or if they separated, before the application was issued e.g. during the pregnancy.

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