# Anyone tried CBT after counselling?



## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

Hi ladies just needed a input. I started counselling 8 weeks ago which as helped me alot I've found talking about infertility my feelings my loss such a relief to talk about. My counsellor thinks my main problem was I never grieved properly for the baby I lost so when I was diagnosed with infertility it suddenly hit me and the grieving started. I've also noticed I started worrying alot abou anything and everything and it's really dragging me down, my counsellor thinks cbt will work as it helps to put a negative mind frame into a positive one and I really struggle thinking of positive things because every time I've thought positive something negative has happened so I just gave up thinking positive. I don't really have anyone to talk to they seem to think that because it's 3 years on I should of forget about everything now and to them it seems it's far in the distence now. Im so much better than I was apart from this worrying and anxiety I panic over such stupid,pointless things and just can't seem to control the worry. As I said the counselling as helped so much but I don't know how I feel about the cbt. Has anyone had this? Does it work? Should I give it a go ? Thankyou x


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## Molly99 (Apr 16, 2012)

Hi Tinkerbell, I wish that I could say something more than what is cbt?

I would be really interested to know because how you feel and react, the difficulties with seeing anything positive because of past experience, is something that I am really struggling with.  I felt so positive this cycle and feel just knocked off my feet now, like everything has proven that positive things don't happen to me.  Or for every little positive, I have to have 5 negatives.

I know that I should probably go to counselling too but I compartmentalize and put things away rather than talk my way through them.  It is how I've always been and I don't know whether I can deal with things any other way - though I know that I can and should.  My sister is an amazing psychologist, I can see her face as I'm typing this  

I do know that grieving never really goes away, it's making it easier to live with that makes it feel lighter.  There is no time limit to it.  People can't call your boat in and say your time is up, especially if you have never really dealt with how you are feeling properly. xxx


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## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

Hi Molly sorry your feeling this way too. Cbt means cognitive behaviour theropy. It helps you to put a negative mind frame into a positive one and helps you to control how you feel and how to act in certain situations. You'll need to see your gp who can refer you but I found it easier to see a counsellor for a bit to get out my feelings which has made me feel so much better and the counsellor pointed out how negative I am and suggested cbt I'm quite a nervy person so this was all very scary for me but I am so glad I did this. As you said the grieving never really goes away but there is a way to make it easier. I'm only half way through but feeling better. I won't lie I still get really down days but they are just easier to control. I'd definitely give it a go Molly but your not alone   x


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

I've had CBT, though for other reasons. I found it a huge help - without sounding OTT, it changed my life. It differs from counselling in that it involves taking a more active role. Instead of talking through your grief, you look at your thought processes and go through various activities to try to change the way you think about things. The theory is if you change your thought processes, it will change the way you feel. CBT is great for both depression and anxiety; it doesn't work for everyone, but it is definitely worth a go if you're willing to try it.


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## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

Thanks sarahsuperdork I'm glad it worked for you. My counsellor thinks it will help with my anxiety which is worse since my infertility . I panic about so much anything's from my infertility to everytike I feel I'll I think something is seriously wrong with me, I constantly search the net and if I see something in the news that's bad I'll panic it's so strange I don't understand it at all its so confusing.no really hope this works for me. My counsellor said they may ask to to bring things home to work on and try ? What does all this mean she didn't go into detail? X


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## Jonsgirl80 (Jun 6, 2013)

Hi,

I've also had CBT (again for another issue) 

It looks at the way you think and how your thought processes affect your behaviour. It's different from counselling in that they don't just listen to you they give you strategies to help change the way you think about things and change how you react in certain situations. 

I found it really good because at the time a lot of my thoughts and therefore my behaviours were very negative and the therapist helped me to see how i was behaving and that there was an alternative interpretation to some of the situations I had been in. She gave me home work which would be to put myself in a particular situation or confront something i'd usually avoid - we would then break it down together and analyse my thoughts and my response and what I should do differently.

At the time I didn't think it had made any difference at all but looking back I can see that the therapy was a major turning point in my life and everything improved for me afterwards.

i was in a very dark place and could easily have continued on my self destructive path and completely ruined my life. Without being dramatic at all - it saved me in every way possible.


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

There's lots of good examples on Google of the sort of exercises you might do, often you're asked to keep a diary of thoughts/feelings at home so you can track what triggers those thoughts/feelings and turn them into something positive. This is one basic example: http://www.livingcbt.com/forms/thought_diary.pdf

/links


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## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

Thank you for your replies. My partner doesn't understand why I want to do cbt and it's hard to explain to him or anyone e les   hardly anyone knows I'm counselling I just really want to get my self sorted and hope this will work. Thank you for the link Sarah   x


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

It sounds like a cliché, but the first step is wanting to get better and that's the hardest part. You've already done that so you're further along than you think! I wish you lots of luck with it, I hope you find it as helpful as I did.


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## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

Thanks Sarah I really want to give it ago because as I said I'm worrying about things which army anything to do with infertility but my counsellor thinks it's definitely stemmed from that. As she says I worry about somethings and then it spirals into something further that may not ever happen and I worry to much about things that happen in the future rather than now and it's taken over the kind of person I am completely, I really hope it helps me


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