# adoption after ivf....



## mrslove (Mar 20, 2012)

hey everyone   

iv known id need ivf since i was 16 and due to my medical condition my overys packed in but iv always know id want to adopt and we tried ivf with donor eggs in june and it didnt work and we knew it didnt work cos our path in life is supposed to have some adopted kids in our family unit   were very positive and think everything happens for a reason so were leaving it up to life to make our desisions for us (i sound like a crazy hippy but im not really im just very accepting  )  anyways i would like any advice you can give so that were prepared for life on the adoption path   were in scotland so not sure if the laws are different here than other places but anything would be helpful......hope everyone is well and i send you lots of hugs too      

thanks 
natalie xx


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## VEC (May 29, 2007)

Hi Natalie

Sorry to hear your recent treatment didn't work, but very best of luck moving on to adoption. You might want to check out this link http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=268374.msg4574243#msg4574243 which has some tips re adopting in Scotland.

And I think I'm right that there are a couple of people who post on the adoption chat thread who are based in Scotland.

Martha x


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## Anjelissa (Jan 11, 2007)

Hi Natalie,

I'm so sorry to hear about the outcome of your recent treatment   

I have no specific words of advice to offer I'm afraid as I'm not in Scotland and I don't know how much the process differs, but just wanted to wish you lots of luck.

We too had ivf prior to adopting (3 attempts, all bfn) but I have a very similar outlook to life as you. If our path hadn't followed the exact time scale it did with regards to our failed ivf's (and even the time we took out following the last cycle) we wouldn't have our little man now (now with us 2 years)  . We couldn't possibly love him any more than we do, we are truly blessed, and however odd it sounds we now thank our lucky stars that our ivf didn't work.
Keep hold of that outlook, and however hard it is right now I'm sure down the line you will also look back and see why things have played out the way they have, I know first hand how hard that would be to see right now though    

One general piece of advice, I don't know if the rules in Scotland are the same re/waiting a certain length of time after ivf before applying to adopt, but even if you don't have that restriction it really is worth taking a little time out for yourselves before embarking on the adoption process.
It brings with it a whole different range of stresses, worries and 'ups and downs' than ivf but it can be longwinded and all consuming at times so it really helps to give yourself some breathing space and 'time for you' first   

Lots of luck on your new journey,

Anj x


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## mrslove (Mar 20, 2012)

hey thanks for that   yeah well my hubby is at sea for a couple months so we cant do anything till after hes home and we need a holiday and we want to get new sofas and a tv that works then we will concentrate on the adoption process next summer and that will be a year since the ivf giving us time to be our own people first and get the house all done and organised for our family as it grows   we just want to find out what the general info was on it as i dont know anyone whos adopting but i have got a friend whos mum has forstered kids for years and years an she sed she will be there for us to help us every way she can   xxx


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## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Hi Mrs Love

Just to give you my perspective, we too are embarking the adoption journey after tax, and I'd definitely advise you call round and ask for info from you LA and the voluntary agencies and ask when their info sessions are, sometimes they can be quite far apart and there's nothing to stop you from going to the info sessions so you have something to consider whilst you're getting all the things done that you mentions this will save some frustration that you might find when you come to formally applying!

Good luck

Summer Girl xx


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## laura0308 (Apr 17, 2009)

Hi Natalie,

I'm in Scotland and at the moment we have been placed with an amazing little man.  We just had his 2nd birthday party today and as others will tell you his DNA makes no difference to how much we love him.

We had 3 failed IVF attempts before starting the adoption path though we had discussed it at the beginning as I have adoption within my family and it felt quite a natural process for us.

Thought you may like time scales so here goes, we contacted our LA for information in November 2009, went to an information meeting with the 0 -2 baby unit in Glasgow in April 2010, went to prep in August, started home study in January 2011, went to panel in September and was approved fro 2 children 0 - 4 and went to matching panel in February 2012 and was placed with our little tornado in March 2012.

Your first step I would suggest is to contact your LA and get an info pack then ask to go to an information meeting which you will find really helpful, then see how you feel.  It is a slow process and can be frustrating at times but is well worth it in the end.

If you want any more advice or questions feel free to PM me.

Good luck

L


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## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

Natalie, sounds like you've got your head screwed on right! 
I was 26 when we started the adoption process too, after 2 failed IVF attempts. Timescales differ and there is a big government kick to speed up the process but my experience was similar to laura.
We applied june 2010, info day July, prep Oct, nov & feb (1 day a month with the final session delayed due to bereavement), homestudy july 2011-Dec 2011, approval panel Mar 2012, going to matching panel in 2wks, so Oct 2012.


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