# egg donation



## rosie71 (Jun 19, 2011)

We are prob going to have to use an egg donation, in reality I don't think there's much chance of anything happening with my eggs, I get the impression that it didn't work on IVF, the 1st time so prob won't happen if I tried again either IVF or naturally( I was so hoping that it would happen naturally, now thats been taken away) We think we will be able to have another go with IVF, but haven't took that step yet. I'm so mixed up, and with christmas, work etc me and my OH haven't had chance to talk it through. But if I don't take this chance I might regret it and keep thinking what if it had worked. Also before I found out for deff that it hadn't worked my sister had said she would donate her eggs. But that was before and I'm trying to get the courage to ask her if she would still want to do it. But even though we are so close, I'm so scared to. I don't know how to start to say, I also don't want her to feel she can't say no. I'm also abit worried because my periods have changed, they used to be so painful and the last few were half of what they were, infact I went from taking to lots of very strong tablets to paracetmol! I get so frustrated with my body sometimes, why can't it just do something right for once!.. Sorry about my rant,I hope someone can help, or give me some ideas.


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## ArmyWife (Nov 23, 2011)

((Rosie))  it's so hard sometimes, isn't it?  My heart goes out to you.  

Why don't you write your sister a letter?  It might be easier that way, for both of you.  You will be able to word it exactly how you want to, and she will have the time to read it and think about it before she answers.  Neither of you would feel under the pressure of that moment.  

Liesa x


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## jo_11 (Apr 1, 2009)

Hi Rosie,

You don't give much detail of your own situation, and fertility details, so I'm not sure what your issues are.  From what I see though, you've only had one go with OE.  It is a BIG decision to ask your Sister if you did move to DE... personally, I would rather use an anonymous donor but each to their own.  Whichever way, be sure to explore everything deeply before deciding... how do you explain to your child that its 'auntie' is actually its biological mother, and it's 'gestational mother' is actually its auntie.  There are more decisions that the initial 'I want this child to be related to me'.  

Good luck


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## Emily1971 (Nov 4, 2011)

I just read your post and you are in the same boat at me totally.  I couldnt have IVF treatment with my own eggs as they said my AMH was 1.1 and that was over a year ago so i expect its even lower.  They also said i was CMV negative which is another hurdle to cross.  Id totally given up hope when the hospital said no you wont have a baby.  Anyway I was in the situation where i wanted to ask my youngest sister who is only 24 if she would donate some of her eggs.  It made it worse as she is in a differnt continent travelling so i had to email her.  Fortunately, she had already said if theres anything she could do to help she would - so i took her up on the offer and emailed her.  I sent her all the information as i know its not something she would know much about and its a big thing to ask.  I said to her whatever you decide even if its no i wouldnt think any less of her or anything id be totally fine about it.  She said yes so we are saving up for the treatment.  Ill be 41 but will have a 24 year olds eggs so the chances are pretty good.  My sister and i are so close that im glad im having her eggs although i love her so much i feel absolutely terrible asking her to go through this.  

Good luck x


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## heavenly (Sep 7, 2011)

rosie71 said:


> We are prob going to have to use an egg donation, in reality I don't think there's much chance of anything happening with my eggs, I get the impression that it didn't work on IVF, the 1st time so prob won't happen if I tried again either IVF or naturally( I was so hoping that it would happen naturally, now thats been taken away) We think we will be able to have another go with IVF, but haven't took that step yet. I'm so mixed up, and with christmas, work etc me and my OH haven't had chance to talk it through. But if I don't take this chance I might regret it and keep thinking what if it had worked. Also before I found out for deff that it hadn't worked my sister had said she would donate her eggs. But that was before and I'm trying to get the courage to ask her if she would still want to do it. But even though we are so close, I'm so scared to. I don't know how to start to say, I also don't want her to feel she can't say no. I'm also abit worried because my periods have changed, they used to be so painful and the last few were half of what they were, infact I went from taking to lots of very strong tablets to paracetmol! I get so frustrated with my body sometimes, why can't it just do something right for once!.. Sorry about my rant,I hope someone can help, or give me some ideas.


Hi Rose

I haven't had any treatment yet but at 45, it's looking like ICSI, with egg donation for us as we have to fund our treatment, and we can't afford to have more than one cycle at the mo and the odds are way higher with egg donation. We decided against a known donor. Me and my OH see it that if get lucky enough to be blessed with a child, whether I get pregnant naturally (a miracle...), whether it's my eggs, or its egg donation, or even possibly adoption, we believe that child was meant to be, however it gets to us!

I know it's a lot to think about, my head is exploding most of the time - have a good read on this site, it's a mine of information. Also, it seems that a lot of people on here it's been second or third time lucky with IVF, so perhaps you shouldn't give up after just one cycle.


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## rosie71 (Jun 19, 2011)

Thanks for everyones replies. I've said to my sister about it, but we didn't really get chance to talk much about it before christmas and new year, so I'm hoping soon to talk with her about it properly. 
jo_11.. I can see your point and hadn't really thought of it that way,( my oh's mum actually said the same thing) My main reason is it's blood and me and my sister are really close, but I am going to think about both sides of it. 

Liesa... I didn't see your reply until after I had said to her, but that was a good idea .. and yes it deff is hard x

Emily1971... I hope things go ok for you ...I'm the same with my sister, being so close, and I also love her so much but feel terrible having to ask her, I don't want her to feel she can't say no to. But I know I would do the same for her, if it was the other way round.

heavenly... I feel the same, it will also be a miracle if I get pregnant naturally! I know I have at least 3 chances to try egg donation my sister or unknown donor or adoption..I think I want to try now at least one more time with IVF, it's just deciding who's eggs and when now.


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## heavenly (Sep 7, 2011)

Thank you so much for those lovely words, I am a spiritualist as well and I do believe it's the soul that wings it's way to you, not the overcoat, as you say.  I like that.  

What a lovely melting pot you have there, with all those wonderful children!!  You give me great hope.  I am really scared about the whole thing, going through treatment, and what if it doesn't work, we may not be able to afford more than one cycle, so my head feels like it's exploding at the moment.

We just want to be parents, I never thought it would be this difficult, but I suppose nothing worthwhile is!  xx


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## rosie71 (Jun 19, 2011)

I know excatly how your feeling heavenly, I'm scared to, and keep thinking what if it doesn't work etc. I feel like there's a big tide coming towards me all the time and I'm trying to walk towards it but it's so hard and it sometimes knocks me back.


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## heavenly (Sep 7, 2011)

rosie71 said:


> I know excatly how your feeling heavenly, I'm scared to, and keep thinking what if it doesn't work etc. I feel like there's a big tide coming towards me all the time and I'm trying to walk towards it but it's so hard and it sometimes knocks me back.


Hi Rosie. 

Thank goodness for this site and the wonderful people on it, all giving each support. xx

What sort of treatment are you looking at? Here in the UK or abroad? If Clomid doesn't work, we will be looking at IVF or ICSI, I keep reading wonderful things about Serum in Greece on here, and a few ladies send me messages about their successful treatments there, Penny who runs it, really does seem to care about her patients.


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## duel (Jan 13, 2012)

O hi rosie71,

I understand you! I'm 41 this year. My eggs can't be used during IVF. I need egg donation and additionaly surrogacy.
But I'm ready to fight for that. Can advice you only not stopping and searching a way to be happy. If your sister won't agree to donate that's not 
a problpem to find another one. You can look for your donor wherever you want. I'm looking for my anogel in Poland (I'm Polish) but seriously think of Russia and nearest contries. It's more safe for my privacy to find an egg donor abroad. And it's cheaper to do IVF procedure there.
Don't worry about egg donation. There is way you should find it.


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## sophia c (Dec 3, 2008)

HI everyone, I fairly new to FF and finding the pages and pages of posts a bit hard to navigate.. i'm interested in opinions on clinics abroad (I'm in UK) for donor egg IVF and am looking at mainly Greece or Spain. I hear Peny at Serum is v good - and also Inst. Bernabeu and Procreatec both in Spain are good, Can anyone strongly recommend any others? I'd love you to PM me, also any warnings would be good too I guess. I'm looking for a clinic that takes great care of their donors and gives good psychological screening. My DH and I are both fair skinned, brown hair, blue eyes and O+. I think my background should come up at the btm of this post but please ask any questions or make any suggestions - I'd be really grateful to hear your stories about choosing a clinic. I'm also interested to hear from older women - i'm 47.

Huge thanks, Sophia


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## heavenly (Sep 7, 2011)

sophia c said:


> HI everyone, I fairly new to FF and finding the pages and pages of posts a bit hard to navigate.. i'm interested in opinions on clinics abroad (I'm in UK) for donor egg IVF and am looking at mainly Greece or Spain. I hear Peny at Serum is v good - and also Inst. Bernabeu and Procreatec both in Spain are good, Can anyone strongly recommend any others? I'd love you to PM me, also any warnings would be good too I guess. I'm looking for a clinic that takes great care of their donors and gives good psychological screening. My DH and I are both fair skinned, brown hair, blue eyes and O+. I think my background should come up at the btm of this post but please ask any questions or make any suggestions - I'd be really grateful to hear your stories about choosing a clinic. I'm also interested to hear from older women - i'm 47.
> 
> Huge thanks, Sophia


Hi Sophia 

Here is a link to the Serum thread where many ladies post about their experiences, it's a great thread!

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=279334.0

Here is a link to the Spain thread, including the clinics you mentioned.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=356.0

I am almost at the point you are Sophia. I have just turned 46, been TTC for 4 years and we will be looking at IVF this year, with egg donation. We haven't decided whether UK or abroad yet, so those links I gave you are very helpful! There are wonderful people on here to give you support and advice. Dip your toe!!


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## rosie71 (Jun 19, 2011)

Hi heavenly, I'm having IVF here and my sister is donating, just waiting for the results to see if she can.   I don't know what we are going to do if she can't. We can't really afford to have to many trys so this is prob are only chance. duel is it alot cheaper to go abroad? I haven't looked at it much, but thought with travel it wouldn't be much cheaper, also for me the language would be a problem. I hope it goes ok for both all of you


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## heavenly (Sep 7, 2011)

rosie71 said:


> Hi heavenly, I'm having IVF here and my sister is donating, just waiting for the results to see if she can.  I don't know what we are going to do if she can't. We can't really afford to have to many trys so this is prob are only chance. duel is it alot cheaper to go abroad? I haven't looked at it much, but thought with travel it wouldn't be much cheaper, also for me the language would be a problem. I hope it goes ok for both all of you


It does seem to be cheaper, the one in Cyprus do a package including hotel accommodation which is very reasonable, about £4k I think! The drugs are cheaper, I think that is a big reason. If you have a quick look at those threads, you will get an idea and the ladies having treatment there give so much info and there doesn't seem to be a language problem at all in the clinics. Just in case you need a second try and money is tight, it's worth having a look abroad. xx


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## sophia c (Dec 3, 2008)

thanks for this! took me until today to find it and in meantime we have decided to go with Penny at Serum... !!!!! right now trying to go out ASAP for prelim consultation and tests and that might mean later this week!!!!!


interested to know anyone in Hampshire if they use Wessex or rec any other clinic here to partner with? 


Also, what is the normal cost of a Hysterscopy?


Oh dear, all rather rushed... xxx


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## rosie71 (Jun 19, 2011)

Thanks for your reply heavenly, I might have a look at that if things do go wrong, hoping won't need to though


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## heavenly (Sep 7, 2011)

How are we doing ladies?    

We have an appointment at the Agora Clinic in Brighton on 19th March, they are linked with the Lister in London.  I will receive my AMH results then and OH has had another SA done.  We will discuss everything with them.  What they think about chances with my own eggs and also about DE.  If DE is the way to go, we are going to save up a bit more, at least with DE, time isn't of the essence!  We will take a breather, then later on in the year, go on the DE waiting list.  At the Agora, it's between 2 months and a year waiting list, dependant on how long your requirements are.

Love to you all.xx


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