# Adoption Buddies starting 2014/2015 - Part 3



## Dame Edna

New home.

Who's going to go first?  

Happy talking


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## Loki Girl

Guess that's me then lol. 

Just wanted to say good luck tomorrow Laws. Sure it will all be fine. It won't be long before your little boys will be home!!! Exciting times for you


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## Sweetnats

Good luck tomorrow laws. Can only imaging how nerve wracking that stage is. 

I am just starting so very green to all this. I have emailed the la last week and not had a reply but guess they are busy. Makes me a little nervous that they don't reply to emails, think I will give them a call to ask the question instead 

So lovely to read all the stories on here. 
Loki I remember you from another thread.... I followed one of your cycles before I went to Prague. So lovely to see where you are now. Gives me hope


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## becs40

Laws what lovely ages! How exciting! Flipping hard work though lol!

Our panel is 9th feb.


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## Primmer

Laws - good luck for tomorrow x


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## Ozzycat

Good luck tomorrow Laws... sooooo excited for u xxx


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## rosex86

Anybody watch silent witness tonight?? Made us feel a bit confused and scared I'm not gonna lie! Xx


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## Forgetmenot

Good luck....

Book marking x

And sodding marking pointless papers... Grrrrrr x want to help my own kiddies!

Myself.... Must do better!!


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## Lorella

Mummy
Lorella
Becs
Laws
Ruthie
Troodles 
Freedo  
Pyjamas  
Singing Lass
Tractor Girl  
Notgivingup  

Mummy to be

Teamug
Nicola
Forgetmenot
Primmer ( linked)
Lou's mummy
Twink
Tigerfeet(linked)
Loki Girl (linked)
RocketJ
Mrs Zetti 
Rose 
Paulapumpkin
Pringles 
Ozzycat  

Panel zone 

Starry - TBC

Starting out 2015

Sweetnats
Kylie47
Chellebelle
MrsC75
AliG1972


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## Lorella

Phew! Just managed to get in on time and get the list on the front page!

Good luck tomorrow Laws. 

Yes watched Silent Witness! Doesn't do much to calm the nerves but just kept reminding myself how fictitious it is!
xxx


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## Troodles

Good luck tomorrow Laws xxx


Hi to all hope you're all well. 


6 weeks till our matching panel, not that I'm counting!!! 


Xxx


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## Laws1612

Thank you all for your support. Ill let you know when we do xxx


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## liveinhope

Good luck today Laws


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## Kylie47

Morning all

Thanks for the warm welcome to this thread!  Lovely to have such knowledgable people to talk to during this process. We've now had initial visits with an LA and VA. Both very impressive but LA probs has the edge as more likely to get a baby through them (which I know you guys warned us about!). Still sounds like we could have a v long wait with LA but they said the situation could change. The great news is both said they didn't see any reasons for us not to proceed with them. Phew! Once we're 100% sure to go with the LA we'll complete the registration of interest form, which will be by the wknd hopefully.  Eek!!

Lorella - please could you add me to the board in the starting out section?  Thanks! Will be lovely to be on a board where it doesn't eventually say 'BFN'  

Best of luck Laws, such an exciting time! 

Xx


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## chadwick13

Hi Troodles, it sounds like we may be at matching panel on the same day! Ours is 25th February. We're hoping to be matched with 2 little girls aged 7 and 4. How about you? Have you been going on a spending frenzy yet?


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## Lorella

Kylie - done  . Good luck with your form filling x

Chadwick - How very exciting for you . Enjoy all the buying. I loved that bit! X

xxx


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## becs40

Hi Kylie,
I think that's the thing to keep at the back of your mind is that things are constantly changing in adoption due to recent rulings etc. at the moment placement orders have dried up because of a recent case so everyone is being over cautious. In 6 months time however the balance may well have been redressed.
Good luck.

Well today is my first birthday as a mummy! Only pressies I wanted were new nappies for bubbs! So I've got 5 new lovely funky print ones for him, think I may become a nappy aholic now! Not the best start to the day as we had to take him to hospital for a blood test first thing but not too bad and home now enjoying lots of fun, giggles and cuddles together for the rest of the day!


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## Laws1612

We got a yes.....was so laid back some panel members the same as approval so they remembered us which was nice. Most of questions were for childerns sw so we were asked tjree questions which was nice compared to pervious panel.  We're offically mummy and daddy xxx

once again thanks for support everyone xxx


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## Troodles

Congratulations. That's such great news!!
So so pleased for you. You really are mummy and daddy!!!
Fabulous xxx


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## DRocks

Becs, what nappies do you use?
I'm a cloth nappy maker 
My stash is fairly oversized considering I'm childless lol.


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## DRocks

Congrats Laws x x


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## Lorella

Yay!!! Another mummy! Huge congrats Laws. Can't wait to see this mummy list start to grow xxx

Mummy

Lorella
Becs
Laws  

Mummy to be

Teabag
Nicola
Ruthie
Pyjamas 
Tractor Girl
Forgetmenot
Freedo
Troodles
Primmer
Lou's mummy
Twink
Not giving up
Tigerfeet
Loki Girl
RocketJ

Panel zone
Pringle - Jan

Starryeyed - TBC
Paula pumpkin - TBC
Rose - TBC
Ozzycat - TBC

Starting out 2015
Sweetnats
Kylie47


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## Sweetnats

Congratulation laws. Fantastic news. X


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## becs40

Congrats laws fab news! You're one step ahead of us now lol!

Disney I saw your stash on ******** - have much nappy envy! I'm using totsbots. I'm just prewashing my new ones now so will have lots of choice tomorrow. Im already very bored with white. I never thought it would bother me as only I see them really but I do love the design ones.


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## notgivingup

Huge congrats laws. That's fab news!


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## teamug

Congratulations Laws great news


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## Tw1nk82

Congratulations laws that is fantastic news xxx


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## liveinhope

Congratulations Laws


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## mrszetti

hi, hope no one minds me joining in. 
congratulations laws that's amazing news.
lorella can I be added to board please we have approval panel in march.
Thanks xx


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## Forgetmenot

Congrats laws xx


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## linzi31

Hello everyone I'm new to here and looking for advice and an ear to listen too   hehe ... Me and my DH have been on a very long journey with ivf which was a negative route to us but now are at the finalling stages of being approved as adopters and we couldn't be happier our panel date is in Feb and it's fast approaching is there anyone out there around the same stage .... 
I would love to hear from you ...
Good luck to everyone on there journeys too 
Lyndz xxx


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## RocketJ

Congratulations Laws!!   - I imagine matching panel must feel so different to approval; now it really is all going to happen!!

Happy birthday to Becs, and welcome to everyone joining the list xx


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## Lorella

Ooh forgot to say.... Happy birthday Becs!   X

Mrszetti - have added you to front page   x


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## mrszetti

Thanks lorella xx
hi linzi31, I am at the same stage as yourself but our panel is march xx


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## Primmer

Laws - congrats on matching panel, you are a mummy!

Becs - hope you enjoyed your birthday x


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## Troodles

Aww happy birthday Becs. Al the best people are born in January!!!! Lol xxx


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## Kylie47

Amazing news Laws,  congrats!!

Happy birthday Becs, hope you've enjoyed your first one as a mummy!

Xxx


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## Ozzycat

Congratulations laws amazing news x
Happy birthday Becs x
Hello newbies x

Afm still waiting to be assigned a new sw after firing the last one


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## Loki Girl

I bookmarked then forgot to be notified so had to catch up on 4 pages lol!!!  

Laws - congratulations and how exciting to see your name on the Mummy list!!!!!

Becs - hope you had a lovely birthday

Sweetnats - small world!!!! We've certainly come along way since treatment in Cyprus and Czech lol. It's all a distant horrible memory now lol. 

Hello new ladies!!

Well we heard from social worker yesterday, there was hold up at council but our approval was passed so should get official letter today or tomorrow. She is then coming with our post approval pack and to to discuss next steps. Also she should have name of our new link worker. Will be weird seeing her for the last time. She wasn't entirely my cup of tea but she did a brilliant job getting us all the way through to panel. Just a shame our new link worker won't know us so won't really have an idea when it comes to matching. Still nothing we can do so hopefully we can impress her when she visits lol. 

Great news to see all these linking and matching going well. Hope we won't be too long!!

Have a great day ladies xx


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## pyjamas

Well we were originally told PO hearing was on Feb 15th but as we realised this was a Sunday decided to check.  SW is away for most of January, so contacted her boss, who told us that there's a Issues Resolution hearing on 22nd Jan. If BM does not contest then PO may be given then, but if she does, and she probably will, then another date will be set for a PO hearing. But I wonder where the original date came from?! x


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## becs40

Oh pyjamas it was the same for us, they hoped it would have been sorted at irh in October. The final hearing I believe is 6 weeks after IRH. They say that the final hearing has to be within a set number of weeks so maybe that's where it came from but maybe put back if there were delays to the irh?


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## becs40

Well we're just back from our first baby and toddler group. It was the one in the village so thought it would be a good place to start. If was utterly horrible! I was completely ignored by all the mums in their little groups. Little man was the youngest there so he just sat in the ball pit bless him watching all these toddlers fly around so think we'll give that one a miss.
There's a rhyme time session at the local library on Mondays so we'll give that a go instead, may be better for his age.


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## Mouseycat

Ah Becs, I know how you feel, but I've kept going and just concentrate on my LO, am now getting a few smiles when I walk in.  Unfortunately from what I can hear from their conversations, most of the mums met throughout their pregnancies or anti natal classes.  Hope you enjoy the rythm classes x


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## Barbados Girl

In the early days I found it was best to hang back from the bigger, less focussed groups which pixie found overwhelming and do the more intimate things. I highly recommend Sing and Sign which involves interaction with you and him, is in smaller groups and helps with communication. Swimming is also great. I contacted my local sure start centre, explained that I was an adopter and wanted smaller, more focussed things and they recommended some of the smaller stay and play sessions. I also find if there is a set activity and a bit of learning to do it helps you talk to the other mums. If you go in a big room with toys and your buddies are there, you are really just going to hang out with them. So perhaps they were not ignoring you as such but being lazy: they have friends so why make the effort with a newbie? I personally like meeting new people but some people just stick to who they know x


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## becs40

Thanks BG wise words as usual! 😊
I had already looked at a local sure start centre which is in the local library, they're doing the rhyme time and stay and play sessions so will see about checking those out next week. We do want to do swimming too but lo has still got a cough 8 weeks now, so need to hold off until he's over that. A neighbour recommended the sing and sign too and has also offered her DVDs from it so will take a look at that one as think the next course starts in a couple of weeks.


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## Barbados Girl

Plus I blithely talk to anyone and move on if they seem a bit standoffish!


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## teamug

Becs - sorry missed your birthday hope you had a good one   I used to go to parent and toddler groups when my BS was little it does take a while to get in with the click, once you are accepted it is actually rather enjoyable and fun for you and your little one, good luck with everything.

Welcome newbies

Pyjamas - sounds like a difficult time for you, very similar to what we went through as we were told we would be adopting our little pinks but then it all got put on hold and after lots of meetings they decided they should stay in long term foster care, very hard and emotional times my thoughts are with you  

Has anyone got anywhere with any links from any of the sites ? Adoption Link, CWW, BMP ? 

Thanks Ladies


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## Forgetmenot

We had a link with adoption link to siblings, however, feel through as linked 

They were beautiful xx


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## Laws1612

We have been out shopping tonight ready for the boys was so lovely picking up nappies and wipes socks and pjs......so excited. Xxxx gonna be counting down soon xxx


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## StarryEyed

congratulations Laws! It does indeed sound exciting.

So my news is that there is still no good news. My sw is going away and won't contact me again until March. She has manipulated the truth to her new manager regarding our contact, making it sound as if she has contacted me to give me an update. On seeing this I have sent an email myself to her manager and her manager's manager with my concerns. I've requested a meeting with the team manager and I'm seriously considering withdrawing my application from the LA. There comes a point where I just feel enough is enough.


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## becs40

Oh Starry I am so sorry. You so don't deserve this! They've made you jump through hoops and you've complied with all their daft nonsense but it does seem never ending for you.
I hope your meeting will be a productive one.


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## Primmer

Starry - hope you can get a meeting with one of the managers as further delays at this stage are really not on! You have done everything they have asked for and you deserve a proper plan on how things are now going to be taken forward. Sending hugs to you xx


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## Sweetnats

Hi ladies

Was after a little advice. I am waiting to send my initial form of interest back to our LA as was advised due to hubby working offshore to send it when he is due back as they will call us straight in for the initial interview. They have also advised us we need to make our employers aware that we will need to take time off during working hours for meetings etc and also the 4 day workshop.
I am not currently working but have had two interviews yesterday. I have made them aware of my situation and both said this would be fine. But in reality. How many days off are we talking over the 6-9 months predicted for application? 
I wouldn't want to go into a role taking time off every week 

Thanks for your help 

Nat x


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## Troodles

Amazing Laws. Can't wait to do the same. I'm chasing you, 4 weeks behind!! Lol

Start. Am so sorry to read this after all you've been made to go through. Hope you get a meeting sorted soon but sounds like trying another agency would be a good option. Good luck hun. 

Sweetnats. Exciting times!!  I took 1 day off for stage 1 course, 3 days off for stage 2 and left work early once a week for SW meetings.  A day off for panel and then a couple of afternoons to meet our boys' foster carer and medical advisor. I have a day booked off for matching panel and then hand my notice in!!!

Hope your journey is a smooth one. 

Hi to all. Hope things are going well 

Big hugs xxx


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## Troodles

Starry not start!! X


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## Lorella

Ozzycat - hope you get a SW assigned soon that you are happy with  

Becs - so sorry your experience at toddler group went like that. I am lucky in that one of my close friends has recently had a baby so she came with me to my local toddler group last week. The week before I went on my own and didn't enjoy it. This week was so much better. Do you have anyone in your support group who could go with you? We also go to rhyme time at the library and its great. You just sit in a circle and sing songs and get a few shakers out. Don't have to really interact with others so not so cliquey. Hope you enjoy it. We've startec swimming which is also great and go to baby sensory class. The mums there all know each other so do feel bit left out ( and old!) but have stuck at it and have got chatting with a couple a bit now. Also I always think I don't want yo really be friends with you anyway if you aren't friendly!

Strarry - so sorry to hear this. Hope you get your meeting soon  

Laws - enjoy the shopping. Loved that part! 

Sweetnats - I had 3 days off for prep. I was lucky that our SW came late in the day so only had to leave work half hr early for our meetings. Then there was day off for approval panel ( didn't have to have whole day but managed to wing it!) Day off for matching panel and half day off to meet FC. Think that about it. I made sure kept work well in the loop and they have been very supportive all the way through but then I was with same place when going through FT so I think they were very sympathetic to my situation. 

Troodles - can't wait to see you on the mummies list! 

Well last night got loads and loads of proper arm round my neck cuddles. Soooo lovely. Even when she started putting her fingers in my mouth and then rammed her finger up my nose and gave me a nose bleed, it was still cute!! Must cut those nails again! 

Xxx


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## Ozzycat

Whooooooo weve been assigned a new sw already,  I thought it would take weeks. . And best of all she took our 3 days of training and we both really liked her.. she can't see us for a few weeks but were over the moon  
Cant wait to see the mummy list keep growing x
Have a lovely weekend ladies xxxxx


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## Tw1nk82

Starry hope you get things sorted soon   xx

Sweetnat i think i took about 6 days leave for prep courses etc xxx

Ozzycat so glad that you have a new sw yey xxxx

becs and lorella so lovely to read your updates xxxx

Laws and troodles good luck with all the shopping. I cant wait so looking forward to that part xxxx

Hi to everyone else xx

Well still no news for us this week. Im hoping when our sw comes on Tuesday that she can tell us a plan or possibly bring us soon profiles which would be fantastic xxxx


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## becs40

Thought you all might like to see one of my birthday pressies, "hey diddle diddle" nappy which is gorgeous but not as gorgeous as the chunky little legs in it!


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## Tw1nk82

Oh wow that is fantastic. And sorry forgot to wish you happy birthday xxx


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## becs40

Thanks twink. I think I've become a nappy addict now lol! I thought I wasn't bothered about all the designs and stuff as no one would see them but I love seeing him in all the cute ones! I absolutely love cloth nappies, everyone said "yeah yeah, you'll change your mind once you're actually doing them!" But definitely not the case. I absolutely hate disposables on him now when he can have a lovely soft happy on his bum!


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## StarryEyed

Thanks ladies. Let's just say I'm reconsidering my options at the moment and whether enough really is enough. I've stayed strong and determined throughout, doing everything and more and now just at the point where I'm think maybe this just wasn't meant to be for me. Want my meeting because I think I deserve a proper explanation and a chance to make my complaints heard. I think I've been treated appallingly which unfortunately may be looking at a loss for adoption because I'm not sure I could trust or deal with social services in the future.

Gorgeous photo becs. Still hopeful it will be me someday by hook or crook! x


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## PixieMcG

Starry not been on long so not sure of your story but I do hope you get something sorted out soon.

Becs love the photo.

We had our second SW meeting, we only meet every two weeks just seems a long time to wait between sessions. She said she's too busy to do them weekly. Not yet convinced.


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## Troodles

Starry don't give up hun. You've been through so much xx


Loving those chunky legs Becs.  Oooh I could just squeeze them!! Xx


Fab news Ozzy. Hope the rest goes smoothly xx


Fingers crossed Twink xx


Hi to all. Sorry if I miss anything. Hard to keep up these days


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## becs40

Oh starry you've come too far to give up.   . Have you spoken to adoption UK for any advice? Might be worth having a chat with them before your meeting. I think even if things could be resolved with your agency now could you still work with them?
Once you're approved can you change agencies or does everything have to be done again? If you can just change I'd be tempted to keep pushing for approval and then move on. For what it's worth, I too think you have been treated utterly appallingly and you definitely need the opportunity to say this and be listened to. The majority of people would have lost faith and determination long before you. Please don't let that go to waste, you're such a strong tenacious individual and those are valuable qualities in an adopter!


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## Sweetnats

Hi ladies 
Thank you all for your advice. Makes it easier when going into a new job. Not as much time as I thought I would need

Starry again I am not sure of your story but you have come this far.  And I find that we always find more strength when we need/want something so badly. X would be a shame to give up now x stay strong and remember what we have all had to deal with to get to wherever we are on this long journey 

Wow... Shopping!!!!! Can't even imagine how excited if we ever get to that stage... I have been planning shopping since I was 16!!! Haha

Trying to read "a child's journey through placement " and struggling a little. Bit in depth for me. But will get it finished


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## becs40

Sweetnats I found it was a book I dipped in and out of as quite heavy going.

And yes the shopping is immense fun! 😀


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## Sweetnats

I have got it from the library Becs. And someone else has reserved it so have only got it for 3 weeks so have to get it finished. Have another two that I have reserved to have to get on with it! Hopefully the next ones will be an easier read


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## RocketJ

I've just collected a couple from the library today; they both had long waiting lists so I expect I will only be able to keep them the 3 weeks. One is 'The Primal Wound' which I've heard is quite hard reading - has anyone read it?


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## Sweetnats

Not heard of that one rocket but I am really new to this... I have 
A child's journey through placement
What every parent should know
The unofficial guide to adoptive parents

Again any recommendations would be much appreciated... Ones that you found helpful


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## RocketJ

I found Sally Donovan's book really good, and it's a compelling story so was a good one to pass on to people like my sister who are wanting to understand more about adoption, but unlikely to read the textbooks that we all trawl through! Kate Cairns was also very good - lots about attachment, with case studies to make it more understandable. I also think lots of the BAAF books are good; I have one about being a single adopter, and 'Related by Adoption' which is for family and friends to read.

Not started The Primal Wound yet - it's lying on the sofa taunting me


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## Troodles

Hi all

Before I arrive by Helen Townsend is a good one for family and friends. Almost like a children's book so easy quick read. 

Hope you're all well. Almost my birthday so hoping my last one without a mummy card!!!!

Xxx


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## Sweetnats

Thanks ladies. I have took the attachment book back. Way to hard! And got Sally Donovan now. 
I just have to vent....... Just called me LA to ask a question about the interest form... Basically I have moved a fair bit over the last 35 years... And there are a couple of addresses I can't even remember. Have even looked on a map to see...and nothing looks familiar. Was a time I was with a bad ex and moved to Manchester with him. Anyway explained this to the lady who said she needed to check with a social worker and came back saying... "No we do need the address" I then explained that I physically don't remember? So how would I get this...... She said hang on I will check with the social worker..... The came back and said is there no way of getting this? I explained that the ex disappeared and I have no idea where he lives. She said... Hang on I will check with the sw.... And came back saying she would call me back.... Seriously I lived in Manchester for 3 months and due to me not remembering the address this is a problem? Dreading the rest of this then!!!


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## Ozzycat

Sweetnats... Welcome to the world of social workers and jumping through hoops!
They need all ur addresses so they can contact the local authorities and make sure nothing "dodgy" was reported to that address during ur time there.. im pretty sure ull need these addresses for ur CRB checks aswell x

Im reading a fantastic book called the boy who was raised as a dog by Bruce Perry, it was recommended on our training day.
Its pretty harrowing but amazing in helping to understand how trama affects us, esp in children who've experienced terrible events..
When I got my ectopic pains I was in a different office at work and even now every time im back at this office I get flashbacks and it talks about flashbacks and why u have them.. its easy to read and makes alot of sense and im only on case study 2... just thought I'd let you ladies know about the book x


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## Loki Girl

Oh Sweetnats - enjoy hahaha. I feel your pain, I worked for 25 years as a Nanny, many of these years were abroad so had to provide all the addresses, and they had to write to them all for references as I was a nanny!!! I explained I didn't even know if half of them were in same place and they just said they had to try. It's crazy but as Ozzy said they need to check nothing was reported etc. I would fill in what u can and then discuss rest with your social worker.  It does get better 

Well nothing to report from us. 2 weeks since we were approved. I have been fine just enjoying the thoughts of being a Mummy finally but now I find I'm wanting something to happen. We are seeing our SW on Thurs as she's dropping off our post approval pack and hopefully she will tell us who our new link worker is. Hope won't be too long before we can meet her and get the ball rolling about if there are any children or if we have to put ourselves out there. 

Hope everyone having a good Mon xx


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## Lorella

Sweetnats - try not to worry too much. I lived in loads of different places after Uni and def didn't put them all down as couldn't remember some... Certainly not the ones I only lived in for a few months. Can't you just leave that one out? I had a similar problem to Loki too with address for past nanny employer. I ended up remembering the address but couldn't remember their surname! Ended up paying for deeds to the house online to get it! Was ridiculous really as knew they didn't live there anymore and infact the house was derelict! Of course they didn't get a reply.... So no reference and wasn't a problem for us xxx


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## Sweetnats

Thanks so much ladies. Just couldn't believe they were being so strict at this stage.... A sw called me back and she was nice abour it asking if there was another way I could get the address. Maybe friends had the address in their phone books etc. I said it was 10 years ago so I doubt it! 
She said to fill as much as we could in and could discuss at the next stage. Crazy really isn't it. I know the area just not the address and I was only there 3 months. 
I'm sure it will get crazier as they go along


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## becs40

It's all different with each agency I'm afraid. Our references weren't done until we'd virtually finished home study. There seems to be no set process that they all adhere to.


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## Sweetnats

Evening everyone. Hope everyone is well and not to stressed with this lovely journey 
I am just in limbo waiting. Hubby works offshore so think this could be a long road timing everything for when he is home. Can't sent our initial form off until he is due home. One more week to go and least we can get the ball rolling


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## HopeFaith

Sweetnats - we're at the same stage as you, just starting out! Registration form filled in & going to send it off this week once I've confirmed with the last referee that they're happy to give us a reference   Excited & nervous to get the ball rolling.

Hope everyone else is getting on ok with their journeys.

Xxx


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## Kylie47

Sweetnats and Hopefaith good luck with those forms!  We're at the same stage, just sent off our registration form on Monday,  felt incredibly exciting  xx


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## Sweetnats

Hi hope and kylie

Can't wait to send ours off! He is home next Wednesday so I am going to send them off Monday. Can't wait! Just want to get this show on the road!! 

I think its so exciting.... Been waiting to at least get to this point for so long! 

Hope everyone is well


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## Troodles

Hi all and welcome to newbies. Good luck starting out. So exciting!

Hope you're all well. 

Just wanted to share......

It's my birthday today and DH gave me a lovely card and nice pressies. Then he handed me another card and pressie.  The card said mummy on the front!! Inside he'd written Dear mummy, we can't wait to have lots of mummy cuddles. Love from ........(two blues). The present was a pandora charm with mum on it!!!  How sweet and so unlike him. 
He said, " I know it's a bit previous but I really wanted to do it for you."  Bless him

Xxx


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## Sweetnats

Aw troodles.   

How sweet of your hubby. Exciting times ahead!


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## becs40

Aw Troodles how lovely! And Happy Birthday! 
And yes it's nearly 3.45am and I've been up an hour with the latest member of the "wide awake club!" Currently left him in his cot rolling around (latest trick is he can roll onto his tummy in the cot but not back again so gets stuck and frustrated! He can roll front to back out of the cot when not in his sleeping bag!) and throwing his Teddy around and generally resisting sleep! I've left him to see if he'll get bored and go off as he's happy enough so sat in our room watching the monitor until he goes off.
So make sure you get plenty of sleep now before they arrive lol!


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## Forgetmenot

That's lovely troodles..... So sweet. Such a lovely gesture and not premature.  This is GOING to happen now and YOU are a mummy to these two little blues x

Go with it.... Whatever the outcome (as I know you will be saying, it's not going to happen) you'd be upset, so enjoy the ride.... And enjoy your 'adoption pregnancy time'

Super excited for you xx

Still in sw hell!!  Trying to look on the bright side, but it's hard xx


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## Troodles

Thanks ladies, trying to embrace it but you know me too well forgetmenot!!!

Sounds like great fun Becs lol. Hope your little pickle let you have some sleep finally. We're definitely trying to store some sleep up before they come home. Going to a spa today. Another lovely surprise from DH. 

FORGETMENOT hang on in there hun, easy for me to say I know. Can I ring your SW and say we need to ,meet up again but with our children so can she just pull her finger out!!!!
Hope things start happening soon.

Xxx


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## Lorella

Troodles - how lovely and thoughtful. Happy birthday!  
It's my birthday next week and can't believe I'm gonna finally have the card that's been missing for so many years. I vividly remember last year placing all my special cards eg. Sister, daughter, wife, granddaughter , all together and thinking, next year there will be a mummy card and there will be. I know how lucky I am. 

Big hugs to all those waiting for news. Really hope you hear some soon. 

Becs - Loretta loves throwing her toys out of her cot!

Hi to all xxx


----------



## Troodles

Thanks Lorella it felt a bit weird to be honest but will be different for you next week. Fellow Aquarian!!

At the mo our date for blues coming home is 16 March, the day after Mother's Day. Hoping I'll feel like a mummy then. 4 weeks till MP!!

Xx


----------



## Loki Girl

Aww Troodles that is sooooo sweet. Those 2 little boys are going to be very lucky. 

Becs - Hope little man eventually went back to sleep lol. At least he's not screaming the place down lol. 

Welcome to all the new ladies starting out. It certainly is exciting times. Feels like it takes forever but then suddenly you will be there!!

Forgetmenot - no news yet on anything I guess? Hang in there Hun. Our little ones will be with us this year I'm sure  

Me - waiting for SW this afternoon. I know she won't have any news but she will be explaining the next steps for us and hopefully will have a name of our new SW. Am feeling a bit in limbo now 2 weeks after approval lol. Will feel better once I know how things will now proceed. Will fill you all in later. 

Hi everyone else xx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Hi to all the newbies and welcome to the journey to adoption xxx

Happy Birthday Troodles xxx

forgetmenot sending you hugs xxxx

becs and lorella hope you and los are doing well xxxx

loki girl hope your meeting has went well xxxx

Hi to everyone else xxxx

Havent felt very positive the last few days. I so want our babies. Why have i not seen a single profile off my sw yet. I dont like this waiting in limbo land xxx


----------



## teamug

Troodles - happy birthday, how cute is your DH    

Hello all the newbies hope you have a good journey through this process 

We are still family finding fingers crossed it's not too much longer


----------



## Loki Girl

Well we had our meeting with SW which was non exciting lol. She bought us a post approval pack which was all about matching so not much use yet and a whole lot of other stuff about adoption leave etc etc. Will all be quite useful when matched lol. We also still don't have a new link worker as the manager has been off sick since xmas so hasn't been able to assign us one. Our SW thinks we will have one of the three new social workers that they have just hired tho so don't know if this is good or bad. The one thing that made me laugh was in this paperwork they were talking about matching and how well our SW knows us so they will be able to do good research into a match and yet we haven't even met our link worker so all she will be going on is our PAR and maybe a couple of visits. Not ideal but what can you do? Our SW said hopefully we will have a named worker by beginning of Feb. I thought hope so cus that will be nearly a month after approval. No wonder things go slow. She couldn't tell us about what children are available so guess still more waiting and seeing. Our plan does say that our new link worker should be in touch every month and should visit every 6 weeks so hopefully that will happen so we can be kept abreast of what's going on. So more limbo land but what else is new hey ladies


----------



## Ozzycat

Happy birthday troodles ur hubby is soooooo cute x
Welcome newbies I hope u have a smooth ride.. as this really is one hell of a roller coaster! 
Well our new sw called today and we have our first meeting next Friday and already she sounded super organised and efficient so that's great and this evening we went to our LA family finders evening. . Wed been sent about 35 profiles and we loved this little boy so I was mainly going for him and his dvd was sooooooooo cute..
We spoke to his sw and although theres been loads of interest they haven't found the right family yet.. were going to put an application of interest in to find out more but I think the fact were not approved yet might go against us.. but we're excited to see where this might go.. must keep telling myself "dont fall in ♥, must not fall in ♥"!!!!
Hope everyone else is doing ok and staying strong and positive x we will all get there xxxxx


----------



## Lorella

Ozzycat - that sounds very exciting! We knew of our little girl before we were approved so don't want to get your hopes up but it won't necesserily go against you. Good luck! Xxx


----------



## Laws1612

hey ladies....nice to see the old bunxh posting. 

troddles....hope you had a great day....spunds like you have a good one there!!!

loki girl.....least there is a plan.....im keeping everything crossed!!!

ozzycat....your not gonna be waiting long then thats amazing....

forget me not....I no how frustrating it is hopefully now new year has been and gone things will get moving again...

lorella and becs....how are things going with you??

hi everybody else...hope the journeys are treating you well...

afm- it is 10 days til intros start.....so so excited.....off skiing tomoro so hopefully will make the weel go quick im driving myself crazy!! plus had a nightmare with work....never mind will be worth it when they arrive xxx


----------



## alig1972

Hi All 

As you can see from my profile our adoption journey has been a long one. We started in Jan 2013 and here we are 2 years later trying again. 
We have contacted two VA's and have one initial assessment booked and the other is getting back to us shortly. 
We also got a suprise call from our old LA and they are coming to do a initial assessment next week! 

Feeling apprehensive as we have put so much time and effort in and just want to be accepted back, but know the journey is going to be a long one! 
Although under the new timescales it should be a lot quicker than before....

From a very apprehensive, Ali


----------



## pyjamas

SW has been on annual leave since Christmas and we have no idea when we will hear from her again! had hoped that someone would have let us know outcome of IR hearing but as usual will have to chase up SS on Monday xx


----------



## Freedo

Hi all  sorry I posted for ages, hope you all doing well. Troodles I have been thinking about you and your blues! Sw is coming mon with a six month pink profile, so fingers crossed!!! xxx


----------



## newmum

Just passing by 

Not sure where you are on your journeys but just wanted to recommend Russell the dream sheep dog as an introduction present for your LO's. He is soft cuddling you can put a message on him and he's a night light so so cute nice addition to go with the Tommy talikng book. Good luck on your journeys Our little treasure has been home for over 1 year now and wow it's great and overwhelming in so many ways xx


----------



## Ruthie82

Laws-congratulations!!!! I was thinking of you on your panel day 

Love to everyone including all the newbies! Lovely to see we are growing.

We had some good news... We have been officially matched with our little blue! We start intros Monday! Our little man moves in the week after 

Thank you all for your support 

x x x


----------



## becs40

Congratulations Ruthie wonderful news! 

Laws hope you have a great time skiing!

Freedo good luck for Monday.

Ali I hope things do move quickly and smoothly for you.

Pyjamas that really is awful but sadly not surprising! Hope you hear positive news on Monday.

Afm well still pretty awful nights, little man just seems to like being awake between 3-5am! We decided to try dropping his 11pm dream feed last night and give him it if he woke during the night. He woke at 2.40am but was asleep again within 20 mins of having the bottle and slept through until 6.05 so huge progress. Just hope it's a start of better sleep for him rather than a one off! Other than that he is still completely and utterly gorgeous. We had our first lunch out last Saturday and he was very well behaved. We went to a farm open day today (too young really but as it was free wanted to go and see what it had to offer) followed by lunch out again! Loving being a mummy but can't believe its only been 5 weeks! My old working life seems so long ago now!


----------



## Ozzycat

Amazing news Ruthie, can't wait to hear all about your intros xxx


----------



## Sweetnats

Congratulations ruthie!! What lovely news 

A quick question ladies. I know its a personal thing for everyone. But what age groups did you ask for? And those that are matched and the mummy's. What age lo did you get matched with?


----------



## Sweetnats

Also did you always know if you wanted pink or blue? Or did you change your mind along the way?


----------



## becs40

We had approval for 2 siblings 0-3 years old and weren't fussed about pink or blue. However when it actually came down to it was definitely more incline to blue profiles. We knew about our little blue when he was 6 weeks old but had to wait out the court hearings etc so he moved in at 6 months. We are due to go to matching panel in a couple of weeks as currently on foster to adopt placement.


----------



## Loki Girl

Ruthie - what lovely news. Hope your intros go well and your little boy is soon home. Another Mummy for the list  

Sweetnats - We just specified as young as possible but we also said we wanted a child younger than school age. Our reasoning was we didn't want to have to deal with possibly them being unsettled in a new school as well as moving in and settling with us. So we have got approved for 1-2 children aged 0-4yrs. We also said we would like one of each but if not would prefer 2 boys to 2 girls just because I have always wanted a boy. I was a Nanny for years and just found boys easier lol but having said now we are approved I would love to have a little girl. In fact I would love to have anything lol. We are not having the same social worker as we had up until panel so when we finally get assigned a link worker she won't know our preferences anyways so will prob have to go through it all again. I think it all depends on what's right for your family at the time. 

Becs - glad your little one is doing better at nighttime. Hope it continues!!!

Laws have a fab time enjoying time for yourself for the last time!!!! Good luck with intros

Pyjamas - hope you have positive news soon

Ozzycat - u never know. You may be perfect for this little boy. Keep harassing them lol!!

Ali - welcome hope your journey continues through to the end this time. 

Forgetmenot - how are you? How is your little dog?

Freedo - how exciting. Bet u can't wait. Roll on Mon!!!

Hi to everyone else. I am looking forward to DH's 40th this week. Family dinner tomorrow night, his actual birthday on Tues, then his birthday surprise Fri. Just hoping and praying that this time next year I will be buying birthday cards for Daddy!!!


----------



## liveinhope

1st time approval we were approved for 2 children of either gender 0-4 and our DS came home aged 22 months.  2nd time around we are approved for 1 girl under 2, age because she needs to be at least 2 years younger than our son. The little girl that we are being visited about will actually be 3 years younger than our son.


----------



## Sweetnats

Thanks ladies. 

I think we are more towards a pink. As I have nieces and am just used to pinks. If that makes sense. Dh has a pink and blue from previous marriage. 
I always thought I wanted a new born. But now I would like 6m plus I think. And as young as possible. I guess it changes as you go along and the sw will have more of an insight as we go hopefully. 

Did anyone have to get child care experience. I was with my nieces every day practically with them growing up. Had them a lot for weekends etc. Have been part of my step kids lives and have friends with children but they said I may need to volunteer somewhere to get experience Did anyone do this?


----------



## Laws1612

thanks girls and of course will keep you up to speed when we start next week.......

Ruthie....congrats I bet you are so excited for tomoro!! Please keep us up to date with your adventures, It seems to have gone quickly for you.....xxxx


----------



## teamug

Ruthie - Congratulations great news   

Laws - good luck with intros ! wow that came round fast   

Sweetnats - we are a little older and I have a BS of 20 yrs, so we are looking at school age from 4-8 and as I already have a son we are looking for girl/girls and my DH wants to have a Daddy's girl 

LokiGirl - wow 40th ! loved my 40th  sounds like you have a busy week - enjoy 

Hi everyone else hope you are all doing well  

We have seen a pink's profile which we are really interested in going forward with, fingers crossed


----------



## Lorella

Laws - good luck with intros. Soon your little ones will be home. How exciting! X

AliG - welcome back and good luck 😊

Freedo and Teamug - good luck with the profiles. Fingers crossed. 

Ruthie - fantastic news! How are intros going? Have a good week. 

Becs - how are the nights? I'm already dreading going back to work and it's ages away yet. 

Sweetnats - we were approved for 2 children 0-2 and were matched to gorgeous 9 month pink. We didn't mind pink of blue but now we have our daughter we are over the moon with pink. 

Hi to all. Main news for this week is I've had my first mum mum mum mum and melted my heart xxx


----------



## becs40

Fingers crossed teamug! 

Laws hope you're enjoying the skiing.

Lorella they're still awful! We tried dropping the 11pm dream feed with a view to giving it when he was waking at 3am but he's now waking and cranky at 11.00 and 3! Last night in desperation I gave him a 3oz bottle at 4 when he woke and he was off within 5 mins and slept until 5 then woke but went back off himself and woke at 6 so much better.
So tonight's plan is to do a 4oz bottle dream feed at 11 then another 4 oz when he wakes at 3-4. My mum is aghast at this but I've said its been like this for nearly 6 weeks now and if that's what he needs at the moment then we'll go with it. I'm not too worried as he's been dropping his milk during the day and think we're on the verge of losing the 11am one now. We've already dropped one since he came so 2 in that time is pretty good. The past couple of days he's alternately refusing the 11bottle so it will sort itself. Still think teething is the main issue but nothing is coming through yet.
His daytime naps have  been a bit rubbish as well the past few days, tend to always lose it a bit at the weekend though. He was having 2hours at 9am but that's about an hour or so now but afternoons are lucky to get 30 mins each one.


----------



## Barbados Girl

Becs, pixie started waking in the night when he came home whereas at FC he slept through. The only thing that would get him to sleep was a bottle. Then he started sleeping through and the waking for a night feed started again for a while then stopped again. I think it was a combination of the move unsettling him and then a growth spurt. Either he is hungry or needs the comfort. If it works then I would recommend giving him the feed. Unless he is morbidly obese it is not going to hurt him.  If you are worried he is getting too much food then drop a day bottle or dilute the feed- we went from six scoops, to five, to four etc.

I personally don't subscribe to this notion about spoiling babies or getting them into bad habits: I subscribe to the "anything to get them to f***ing sleep" school of thought!


----------



## becs40

Lol BG! I'm not overly worried about giving it to him as we're going to split the bottle so he's not really getting any extra as such. I think you're right as it's as much about the move as anything. He is a very chunky bubba though! He's 95 centile which the health visitor commented on and said we'd weigh again in a month, however she didn't measure him which we did the other day and he's 98 centile for his height! 
I think we're going to try it and see how it goes. 6 weeks of basically no more than 3-4 hours sleep for me a night is not helping me get rid of the cough he kindly shared 5 weeks ago either! Getting up to him is fine and not a problem it's the getting up in the morning at 6.00am after being up at 2am then again at 3 until 5 am usually that's a killer!


----------



## becs40

Woo BG just saw your signature update AO granted that's fabulous news congrats!
We've got matching panel in a couple of weeks so a step closer!


----------



## Ruthie82

Bg I also noticed your comment re AO granted yipppee! Congrats;-) 

Becs-your the mummy do what feels right for you and your little one.

Regarding child's ageing we were approved for one 0-2 with the viuew to have a second after a year. We have been matched with a 9month blue.

We saw our son today for the first time he has a cold but managed soooo well. Hubby got a kiss and he came to me for a cuddle. If it's possible we are falling in love already

x x


----------



## becs40

Aw Ruthie how exciting! We're not yet 6 weeks in and I am completely and utterly in love with our little man, he really is my world! Our little one had a cough when we were doing intros - and he still has it! Almost over it now with the help of a humidifier - which naughty mummy has pinched as my need is currently greater than his as he seems over it today finally!
Enjoy your intros, they really are tough and even though we've had less sleep than I thought humanly possible to operate on its still easier than intros!


----------



## Sweetnats

Wow so much happening now!

Wow ruthie exciting time! I guess we will fall before we even start the intros as when you are shown profiles you start imaging a future as a family 

bG congrats on your AO

I apologies I am not very good at keeping up!!


----------



## Laws1612

Ruthie.......I'm so excited for you xxxxx keep us updated xxx


----------



## Lorella

Barbados Girl - fantastic news on AO. You must be over the moon x


----------



## Cbelle1

Hi everyone! 

I'm hoping this is the right place to post? I'm hoping to join you all today as I am dropping our register of interest forms off!
I'm terrified and excited all at the same time!!! 

Chelle
X


----------



## mrsc75

Hi girls, me too, Im new!
Having our first meeting with a social worker to find out more on Thursday.
We haven't decided upon an agency yet and as we are only two months from last and final IVF I don't think we will be starting the formal process for a few months but we are starting to try and work out who we want to go with.
I may lurk around a lot.....


----------



## pyjamas

SW finally back from 5 weeks annual leave! Found that BM is contesting which we expected. Final hearing should be 11/12 Feb. LOs SW is aware we are still waiting for her. SW said once court case is over things could move fairly quickly x


----------



## Barbados Girl

Thanks, all. Getting the AO is just such a relief. No more sws! Am glad intros are going well, Ruthie. Everything crossed, Pyjamas. You so so deserve it!


----------



## Cbelle1

Pyjamas - I think we've spoken before. We are applying in norfolk too, so any tips gratefully received- although they don't seem too organised? 

Chelle x


----------



## becs40

Hang on in there pyjamas! Our intros started less than 24 hours after court hearing so not much longer!


----------



## pyjamas

Chellebelle, yes we have spoken before and are with Norfolk LA. I don't know whether they are more or less organised than anyone else really! but we have been waiting forever. As with lots of other areas there does seem to be a shortage of children and lots of approved adopters out there at the moment xx


----------



## Sweetnats

Hi chelle and pyjamas. We went to the norfolk information evening and then crossed over the water to suffolk In our move so went along to the suffolk information evening. I must admit we did prefer the suffolk team so have gone with them. They just seemed a lot more personal


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## Cbelle1

I think we fall outside of the Suffolk boundary so don't think they will consider us. As far as I'm aware the only choice in norfolk is the la

Xx


----------



## Troodles

Hi all

Just checking in. Been a busy week. Just read 5 pages of your news and won't even attempt personals!! Lol

Welcom all newbies and lots of love and luck to everyone xxx


----------



## Sweetnats

Yeah chelle. We were in norfolk and they were the only choice for us but we then moved. Least it makes the choice easier I guess


----------



## Sweetnats

Hi ladies hope you are all well

Quick question. How long roughly before the la get back to you following sending the interest forms in? I know each la are different. But so excited to start


----------



## HopeFaith

Hi Sweetnats,

We sent ours off on Friday & got an email from them today   So not long to wait at all, hope yours is the same. Ours told us that they're really looking for adopters who want to adopt older children, children with complex needs or siblings. Unfortunately they have loads of adopters already waiting for babies   We have decided that we would consider siblings as ultimately we wanted two more children anyway so might as well adopt siblings than one at a time. Still we'd ideally like them to be as young as possible so maybe one under 1 and one 2 or 3. What age are you hoping for?

MrsC75, Chellebelle & Kylie - think you're all at the same stage as us too. It's so exciting to get started  

All those waiting to be matched or approved, hope the wait isn't too long for you.

Those already with their LOs, hope you're enhoying motherhood   xxx


----------



## Sweetnats

Hi hope

Where abouts are you? We are in suffolk and when we went to our info evening we spoke with a sw who was fab and was excited for us to send our forms back so I'm hoping they are not overfull of adopters. We have said 0-2  and also said we would consider siblings but have thought later that this may not be the best way forward as would want to give all our attention to one,think it would be hard if there are two


----------



## HopeFaith

Sweetnats, we are in Hertfordshire. Sounds like you had a very positive experience at your LA & hopefully they have lots of under 2s.   The sibling thing is a tricky one. Our main concern is space & that they won't consider us for siblings as we only have one spare room. 

Does anyone know if you can adopt siblings with only one spare room?

Xxx


----------



## Forgetmenot

If they are in the same room now you can but if not able to move later then prob same sex sibs x but not sure there was something on adoptionlink and think it was ok x


----------



## Kylie47

Hi all

Hope everyone is having a good week! 

Sweetnats and Hopefaith that's so exciting you've sent your forms in! We received a confirmation letter about 5 days after sending off our form. So we've officially begun the adoption process, WOO!! We've been assigned a sw and got our first meeting with her in a couple of weeks.

Xx


----------



## Sweetnats

Evening all

Kylie that's exciting news! Makes it feel like it's finally happening. I am hoping our LA are going to call soon as the sw told us to send the form back when dh was due home as they would call us in as soon as. he is only home for 3 weeks. So don't want it taking too long or that will be another 5 week wait


----------



## Cbelle1

Hi all, quick update from me, sw is coming to see us on 9th Feb for an initial visit....need to decorate immediately 😁 

Chelle
Xx


----------



## Sweetnats

Wow chelle that's amazing news!!! It's starting to happen now.....


----------



## Sweetnats

Got an email today saying they will be assigning us a social worker on Monday. And due to me having a CCJ about 15 years ago have to complete a finance form. Also need to book our gp appointments up. Which they had told me to not do until we had heard back from them. I must admit I do think its a little bad that you pay for a medical? Surely these could be free? Oh well. Wasn't a shock as they told us we would need to pay for these. Just don't get why these are a "private" form when we are going though the local authority

Least things are moving now


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Evening

We've got our panel date... 23 Feb! Yikes xxx

Hello to all the Newbies!

Will post more over the weekend.

X


----------



## Ozzycat

Oooo paulapumkin not long now..
We also got our panel date today.. 13th April,  10 weeks on Monday :-D
Met with our new sw today and we loved her, she took our 3 days of training so we knew her already but shes super experienced and even sits on panel herself so hopefully this should be a smooth ride thro to panel.  She also finds out each week about little ones coming thro which she promised to keep us informed about. .
Hopefully by the end of the year our little one will be home with us x
Hows everyone else getting on? Its been a bit quiet on here from the oldies x
Have a lovely weekend xx


----------



## Troodles

Oi less of the old Ozzy!!!!    


So lovely to read about all the new journeys. Exciting times!!  Good luck x


Paula and Ozzy good news re panel dates. Really not long. 


Hope everyone else doing ok. Has been fairly quiet on here. 


We are plodding along, trying to get house ready and waiting for matching panel, which is 20 Feb, then hopefully start intros 6 March. SW called the other day and said she has booked our first review to see how the boys are getting on for mid April!!! We haven't even got them yet lol. She's obviously feeling positive about the match!!


Hope you all have a lovely weekend. Big hugs xxx


----------



## Ozzycat

Oh no... oldies wasnt an age thing it was oldies on the forum.. sorry if I offended   !!
Troodles im so excited for u.. u must be nervous,  excited. . Nervous,  excited! !
Can't wait to hear about urs and Laws intros xx
Sat at my desk already at work. . Doing adoption homework   naughty me.. im already looking forward to our next home visit. . Im sure thats not normal! 
Have a lovely weekend ladies. . Even if it is bloody FREEZING! X


----------



## Troodles

Oh was only joking hun. Not offended at all xxx

Yes nervous, excited, terrified!! Lol

Ugh can't believe you're at work. Yuk but good that you're being productive on the adoption front!! Teehee

Can't wait to hear about Laws intros. Must be soon. Next couple of weeks?

Don't work too hard!! Xxx


----------



## Lorella

Hi ladies
Some updated panel dates on here. Excited to hear of these coming up Pringles, Ozzycat and Paulapumpkin!

If any newbies want me to add them let me know xxx

Mummy
Lorella
Becs
Laws

Mummy to be

Teabag
Nicola
Ruthie
Pyjamas 
Tractor Girl
Forgetmenot
Freedo
Troodles
Primmer
Lou's mummy
Twink
Not giving up
Tigerfeet
Loki Girl
RocketJ

Panel zone
Paulapumpkin - Feb 23rd
Pringle - March 18th
Ozzycat - April 13th

Starryeyed - TBC
Rose - TBC
MrsZetti - TBC

Starting out 2015
Sweetnats
Kylie47


----------



## Loki Girl

I'm still here, patiently or maybe not so patiently waiting for a call to say they have assigned us a link worker. I said to DH if we don't hear this week coming up we'll get in touch with them cus it would of been a month after we got approved and still no link worker!!! I know the manager only went back to work last Mon after being off sick since xmas so sure she has a lot of catching up to do but really. In our council they only have a team of 9 social worker so how time consuming would it be to say you are now their link worker?!!!!!

I don't know why but got a bit upset over a friend of mine who has a 9yr old boy but wasn't successful having another one. She decided to egg share and out of the 5 eggs she got they put back two and she got pregnant but miscarried. Then she had another natural go with her frozen ones and had a chemical. They told her the following month she could go ahead with the last 2 and she is now pregnant with twins. I don't know why I am still feeling this is all so unfair after we spent thousands on unsuccessful treatments. Do these feelings ever go away or is it just because we are in limbo at the moment and even tho we are approved the impatientness is setting in lol. I honestly thought once we were approved I wouldn't be bothered. Hopefully once things start moving and maybe we actually get to see a profile it won't bother me at all. I am just hiding her posts at the mo cus she is the sort of person who took a picture of her pregnancy test every day from line day 6 and is now putting up scans etc. don't really need to be seeing it everyday lol. 

Anyways apart from that blip had a great couple of days celebrating DH's 40th. Took him to a zoo in Hertfordshire and got him an experience feeding the tigers. Flaming expensive but well worth it lol. He loved it. Amazing creatures. Of course all we talked about was bringing our little ones here with us next time lol. 

So those with intros and stuff hope all goes well which no reason it won't. Those of us post approval and pulling our hair out hang in there. And for those getting all there paperwork together you have exciting times ahead. I remember planning my homework at work too lol. You will soon be there and then it will all feel like a distant memory lol. 

I am having a weekend off work as had some holiday owing so good to have a break. The farm has been so busy since xmas when it is usually dead in January so that's good but busy for us. I was ready for a break lol. We are going sofa shopping today tho maybe not the smartest idea knowing a little person or persons may be joining us this year  

Have a good weekend ladies xx


----------



## Loki Girl

Sorry forgot to say congrats Paula and Ozzy on your panel dates. Exciting - won't be long!!!


----------



## Lorella

Loki girl - hugs Hun for feeling like that. I can only talk from my own experience. Now we have our daughter it is much , much easier to hear news like that. However for me I think there will still always be a twinge of envy/jealousy/sadness when I hear news of pregnancies, especially with friends and family. What is different is that these feelings don't  last so long as I then think of my gorgeous daughter. 

Once you are matched and bring your LO home I am sure that it will become easier for you too Hun. It is understandable you are still feeling like that at the mo as you have been through such strong emotions of relief and excitement in getting approved but now a bit in limbo waiting for news. Fingers crossed you get your link worker soon and things start moving xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Lorella thank you that is soooo reassuring!!! It's the first time it has happened during our adoption journey and it worried me that even tho approved maybe I wasnt 100% with adoption!!! Reassuring to hear these feelings are normal and I think you are right once our LO is finally home it won't matter as much. It's nice Loretta is so little as at least you have a bit of the baby stage lol.  I am fully ok with having a toddler as think that's what we will prob have but guess the feelings of not having a new born in your arms doesn't fully go away. Mind you didn't help we had our first negative comment towards telling someone we were approved to adopt. Surprisingly it was very good friends of DH's parents who have been like an uncle and auntie to DH and when DH's father told them they just said oh. They then said its so horrible to have to go through that it comes with so many problems they wouldn't wish it on anyone   I don't really know them or see them which is just as well as may not be able to bite my tongue!!! Have never had that reaction, everyone has been incredibly supportive. Still not for me to worry about like I say we very rarely see them but will be difficult for DH's parents as they see them every week. Can just imagine what they will say when they start talking about their grandchildren!!! Still if they are that ignorant then I don't want them to know about our kids. 

Anyways before I start writing another essay thanks again Lorella!!!


----------



## Cbelle1

Hi lorella 

Can you add me to the starting out group

Thanks hun
Xx


----------



## Laws1612

hi lovely ladies. ... 

heading bk frpm holiday today sat in hobby waiting to be picked up with the start of a cold.....damn coming to a snowy place. lol.
had the most relaxing weekend ready for two more sleeps to start intros...bring on monday!!

troodles....not long now. 

loki sorry to hear you have been having a rough time it will get better! !

paula and oozy fab news your catching us up. be you next!!

forget menot...saw your post in other thread dont give up you have come so far!! want you to get yoir family.  

adoption seems easier and straight forward until post approval it drove me mad. its worth it tho and they have to be right.
hoping everyone hears good news soon xxx


----------



## Cbelle1

Hi all!

I'm just sitting here writing my workbook up and have got to the family tree part. How detailed should this be? Should I include aunts, uncles & cousins? How about step-sisters who live with their mum, not my mum & step dad?

Thanks

Chelle
x


----------



## Ozzycat

Loki I feel ur pain... a girl at work has been dropping hints for a few weeks and finally I asked out right and she told me she is 8weeks pregnant but she hasn't told anyone yet!! She knows what ive been thro.. why tell me!!
I was really upset.. the whole "why not me" but I felt better a few hrs later. Ive learnt its ok to be sad and upset as it is so unfair whats happened to us x
We need to be kind to ourselves and accept its ok to feel upset/jealous x
My best friends baby is now 3 weeks old and it breaks my heart to pick her up as I just wish so much it was me, but its not x
My other close friend is 7.t months pregnant. . I can't get away from it.. but every day it gets a little less painful but like lorella said, I don't think that little tug at ur heart feeling ever goes away.. x
Please gd that mummy list will just keep growing xxx


----------



## becs40

Hi Loki,  
I second what Lorella has said although yet to actually be confronted with the situation we have a strong suspicion that an ex friend who works for dh is about to announce number 2. I have very little time for her and the friendship ended when she got pg the first time (did have miscarriage at 5 weeks but was then pg again within a couple of months), I really couldn't handle it as she's had this supposedly fairytale life where everything just turns out the way she'd planned it since about age 6! As she works with dh he still has a lot to do with her and as there first child is now 2 we knew it wouldn't be long before an announcement and dh thinks it's imminent! I have to say it really hasn't bothered me at all because of having our perfect little boy and I often think how lucky I am sometimes to have him without having to endure pregnancy and labour which is something I never ever thought I'd say. I never thought I'd come to terms with not having that but the only thing I really miss is the first 6 months of our little boys life. Anything else isn't important.


----------



## Forgetmenot

Thanks laws.  Finding it really tough x especially when you hear good news for others, which is fab, but you also think why not us!

It will pass.  Am just stressing x

So exciting with all the up coming news... Hope that dreams really do come true.

I can face another year of maybe next year, I just can't xx


----------



## Lorella

Loki girl - it's lovely having Loretta from 9 months but she is growing up quickly! I was quite surprised by my feelings I had the other day. A friend if mine has a 4 month old and I was cuddling him and had this sudden feeling that I have missed this with Loretta and that I won't ever have this real baby stage. It hadn't really bothered me before but I think, now we have her, it's sad that we missed out on her first few months. 
I really can not stand ignorant comments like that. God forbid the first person to cross my path with one. I don't suffer fools gladly. 

Chelae belle - added you to list Hun. It's on our front page.  I think I only put immediate family on our family trees. Extended family will all come out in later paperwork anyway. 

Laws - enjoy intros. 

Ozzycat - hugs to you too Hun. It is totally acceptable to acknowledge it can still be tough hearing about pregnancy news. 


Xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Thanks Becs and Ozzy - I am starting to feel more normal lol!!!

Chellebelle - we had to go as far back as grandparents. I have a complicated one on my mum's side as she is one of 8 and half my aunties and uncles we don't see or fell out etc. I did my best but one of my aunties has 8 children and they have children and their children have children. I don't know any of them so I just put down that auntie has 8 children and they were fine with that. Not sure about step children but if you know them then add them on and explain they are step children. My SW wasn't that bothered about ours. Just asked us what our grandparents did, where they were bought up and if we could add ages great but if not not to worry. It was easy for DH he only had 2 cousins lol - I have thousands it seems lol. I would just do what you can. 

Jens- huge hugs Hun - I sent you a message


----------



## Lorella

Jen and Forgetmenot - huge hugs to you ladies and to our other mummies to be on our list. Keeping everything crossed your SW come up with your special links soon     xxx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Thanks so much ladies.  For the first time in a long time, really tears, not of frustration, but just utter saddness.  Just feels out of grasp again.  I know it won't be, but!

Still, it's staurday night, no school and wine... So all is well xxx


----------



## rosex86

Hi ladies

Can you add my panel date on please  11th March!!

two more home appointments to go and then we just need to read through our PAR 

xxx


----------



## Lorella

Rose - done 😊. Good luck with last appointments xx


----------



## Freedo

Hi ladies, I really am rubbish at this posting lark, but do read every day!! Welcome new ladies, just a little update our social worker brought us the profile of a 6 month pink, then our la has started picking between two families before visiting and thankfully the sw picked us so lo social worker is coming to see us tuesday!! Xx


----------



## Troodles

Hi all

Hope youve all had a great weekend. 

Laws think it's tomorrow that you start intros?

Hope it all goes well hun. Will be thinking of you and can't wait to hear all about it

Hugs to all xxx


----------



## Troodles

Oooh Freedo that's amazing!!
Keep us posted xxx


----------



## Lorella

Fantastic news Freedo. Keeping everything crossed xxx


----------



## pyjamas

Lorella, I agree that it seems sad to have missed some of a LOs early months. We are hoping that PO gets granted this time. She will be coming up to 1. Sad that PO wasn't granted first time round when she was 7 months as we will have lost that time x


----------



## Laws1612

hi all.....best day ever.....2 hours were amazing. had a hello mummy and daddy at door lots of play time.....excited for new bedroom amd seeing our cars and a kiss goodbye....gonna do it all over again tomoro for another half a day. what amazing little boys who are just prefect xxxx


----------



## Laws1612

freedo...good luck with link xxx good to see you bk on forum...missed you xx


----------



## Ozzycat

Oh laws thats so amazing x
Please keep the updates coming x
Freedo got everything crossed that this is ur little one x


----------



## Loki Girl

Aww Laws that sounds amazing!!! Hope the days fly by and your little boys will soon be home xx

Freedo - All sounds promising - good luck!!!

Well as for us we finally got a name for our new link worker. She is coming with our old social worker a week on Wednesday so another long week to go lol. 

Hope we all had a good Monday x


----------



## Lorella

Laws - that is amazing! So pleased for you xxx


----------



## Freedo

Hi all, just wondering what could lo social worker ask us tomorrow?! Thanks xx


----------



## Freedo

Thank you laws that's so kind of you xxxx


----------



## becs40

Fab news Laws, it's always so nerve wracking the first time you meet them, so many emotions! Hope intros fly by as it's even better once they're home with you.

Freedo good luck tomorrow! When lo's sw came to us she just chatted and went and had a look at his room. Very informal and she's much nicer than our sw! I enjoy her visits! 

Afm well little man cut his first tooth today and I think I can feel number 2 hot on its heels! Maybe this is part of the sleeping problem! Think we're also going to have to bring bedtime forward as he is getting very overtired by then despite having a half hour catnap an hour before bed we still get full on meltdown on the changing table.


----------



## notgivingup

Sounds fab Laws. Enjoy every minute!  

Good luck freedo! 

Forgetmenot, the waiting after approval is really difficult.  When I'm having a frustrating day I read through my ivf diaries to remind me of how I felt then and how far we've come. It helps me to regain perspective so I can contact my sw without ranting  .

We feel fortunate to have looked at lots of profiles, some of which we are very interested in and just waiting on a few CPR's to arrive this week. Waiting patiently  

Xx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Congrats laws and Loki.... Exciting news x good luck tomorrow freedo x


----------



## Cbelle1

Hi all!!


Laws- your post brought tears to my eyes!!!


Freedo- fingers crossed this is your lo   


I need your help ladies, I'm sitting here filling in my workbook and I have done pretty well up to this question "if there is one thing you would like us to know about you, what would it be?" Any ideas would be very gratefully received!!!


Chelle
Xx


----------



## Troodles

OMG Laws that is amazing. So pleased for you. Had it sunk in yet


Hope the rest of intros go really well. 


Good news Loki hope the next week flies by. 


Not sure chelle, what is an interesting and/or amusing fact about you? Think I would have struggled with that question if we'd had it! Good luck. 


Hi to all and hope the teething doesn't keep you up too much Becs!!


Love and hugs xxx


----------



## Cbelle1

Thanks troodles, think I just came up with something!


Xx


----------



## Laws1612

hi all.....

Thanks for the postive comments and support. definitely has not sunk in yet....cant quite believe it....how lucky am I.

hope everyone is having a good week xxx


----------



## pyjamas

My Mum who is on *******, but I am not, follows Sir Martin Narey, and often mentions to me things he has tweeted about regarding adoption. After reading a tweet from him she mentioned on ******* that her daughter and son in law are 18 months post approval and still without a child. Sir Martin replied to her comment and gave her his email asking me to contact him, which I did. He is most concerned that so many of us are waiting such long times. He is going to contact Mark Owers on the Adoption Leadership Board to investigate this further!


----------



## Ozzycat

Go mummy pyjamas!!!
Keep us updated with how that goes x


----------



## liveinhope

we are linked to an 18month old lil pink! Hopefully home in Easter holidays


----------



## Bluebell261

Hi all, 

Can I join in with you all please?

We attended an info evening last Wed, we have been sent a letter confirming we have been linked with a LA within the consortium, we are currently waiting to hear from them. 

You may have seen the post I started about any horror stories in relation to f2a. It's definitely a route we are considering.

Exciting news from Laws,  Live in hope and freedo!

Looking forward to chatting to you all in the coming months.


----------



## becs40

Freedo how did it go today?

Liveinhope fab news! You'll have to change your username! 😉

Little man has not been his usual happy self today and seems to be struggling with his pesky teeth bless him. I downloaded an app yesterday to help me track his naps and sleeping patterns. Hopefully today wasn't a fluke in good baps as it has already helped me to see that 2 hours between naps is about his limits! He was up at 6 today and went down for first nap at 9 and only slept for 40 minutes, 2 hours later put him down and he slept for an hour and a quarter and same again later.malso went to bed half an hour earlier so will see how that affects during the night. Lots say earlier to bed equals longer sleep so really hope so! 6 is fine but without the 3-4 waking and then again at 5!

Lorella have you had a date through for AO hearing yet? We were told we can apply at end of feb! So excited and can not wait!


----------



## teamug

Laws - fab news can't wait to get to that point


----------



## Freedo

Hiya today was fab! He said he loves us so we are linked he has to tell his boss tomorrow but that's just protocol he said, so we are linked! 6 month pink panel 9 march and intros 23 I can't stop crying !!! Xxxx


----------



## Lorella

Hi and welcome bluebell. 

Becs - I read somewhere that babies sleep in 45 minute cycles. It's really helped with Loretta as when it gets to around 45 mins she often stirs and I am then extra quiet downstairs. She will either wake up at that point , if disturbed too much, or go back to sleep for at least another 45 mins. I also read that the average time between naps they can last is 3 hours. This has been helpful too, particularly with afternoon nap as eg. If she wakes at 10.00 am from morning nap, I know that around 1.00pm she should def be tired enough to go off again. It usually works. Loretta is a great sleeper and napper. If she sleeps more in the day it goes to bed earlier it doesn't usually have any effect on how much she sleeps during the night. I am one for sleep breeds sleep! Hope he gets into a routine soon. Teething is a nightmare. Some lovely lady on here, can't remember who, said to me 'remember calpol is your friend'. Have remembered that and it's defo a close friend during teething times! 
Very exciting you can apply for AO at end of Feb. 

Liveinhope - fantastic news
Hi to all and hope everyone doing ok xxx


----------



## Lorella

Freedo - ah brilliant news!! Xxx


----------



## Laws1612

Freddo".....amazing!!!!!!! Xxxxx


----------



## becs40

Freedom fantastic! Congratulations!

Lorella last night was epic, not in a good way! We had wakings almost hourly then he woke at 1.50 so I gave him some calpol and a 4oz bottle rocked him to sleep in the chair put him back in the cot and his eyes pinged wide open and he laughed at me! That session lasted until 3.45 but he did sleep through from then lol! I was going every 3 hours for naps with him but they've been getting shorter and shorter so yesterday we went 2 hours and massive improvement. It may just be because of the teething but we'll stick with 2 hours and see how we go.


----------



## Laws1612

another great day yesterday. ...wow im in bed early at night now im so tired hehe...

had half a day yesterday. managed to put little blue down for nap and get after nap, feed him at snack time and lunch time and do all nappies... 

big blue just wants to come to his new house and see his doggys and bedroom which is amazing and doesnt leave hubbys side....

had more wet kisses and snuggles from all on arrival and departure....just never wanna leave tho dh has to drag me hehe xx


----------



## Sweetnats

Aw ladies sorry I am so crap at keeping up but loving all the positive stories of intros and approvals  

Congratulations to everyone in the good times and keep your chin up to those who aren't there yet


----------



## Lorella

Laws - get used to it! After Loretta goes down at 7pm I am straight in my PJs and on the sofa where I quite regularly fall asleep before 9! Lovely update xxx


----------



## becs40

Yep 9 is my normal bedtime too now although often wish it were 7! Turns out little man has 3 teeth all come through together so no wonder poor little lamb is suffering! Seems chirpier today though and our 2 hour nap schedule seems to be bang on at the moment. Getting nervous for panel now though, just want it out of the way!


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Such amazing updates, it's all becoming very real for all of us!


----------



## Cbelle1

hi all

just got home and the letter has arrived saying our first social work visit is Monday and that she wants to see bank statements and credit card statements etc etc

not sure i can rustle it all up by Monday    hope we don't get wrong if some is missing!

chelle
xx


----------



## teamug

Hi Chelle

If you have online banking you should be able to just print some off, they are what we used    good luck with your adoption journey


----------



## Lorella

Chelle - we just showed our account online too x


----------



## Cbelle1

I can't print them off from my ipad!
Are they just looking at the bottom figure or do they do through each transaction? Could take a while...I mean it was January and with the sales on and all  

Chelle
Xx


----------



## Lorella

Chelle - our SW just looked at our accounts on the iPad. She had a quick look at transactions but mainly just wanted to see we were in the black each month etc xx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Evening ladies.  I have been all over the shop and not coping with this jounrey!!

Started crying again, so need some perspective!!

Anyway we are in a competitive link with another couple for siblings..... And I am just not sure.  The other links, we were drawn in by their ohoto, these.... I don't feel anything, so I just don't know.  Dh likes them more than me..... 

With profiles we have either said yes, or no, very easily.  However, these, I don't want to say no, but not going yes.... So I am confused!!  I am also worried that they might to too old and I would be settling, and that sounds horrid.  

I don't know how to reach a decision in my head.  We are due to meet their sw'ers, but oh so confused xx help!!


----------



## moobags

Forgetmenot just before Christmas we were in a competitive link with a little girl I fell hook line and sinker so when we got the no I was devestated since then I have seen profiles and made enquiries but I am now very wary and don't get too taken in could it be you are holding back as you are scared.  Can you picture them in your home and a having a life with them ? There is. Toning stopping you from meeting their SW who will bring them to life for you more I would see how you feel after that and if your heart is not in it then maybe you need to sit with DH and talk things over.  I hope I don't sound like I am being too harsh it's so hard waiting.

I am sure you will work it out in your own time.

Moo x


----------



## Forgetmenot

No your not being harsh.  Dh won't let us go for anything if we both are not in it....

It's for life and they have to be right for us and we are them x

I am scared.  Heart broken twice already!!

I also think the ages are a concern.... But, I thinks it's only cos others from our course have got younger children, but there are so many variables, you can't compare like from like, arghhhhh xxx


----------



## Troodles

Well done Freedo. That's great. 

Laws that sounds amazing. So lovely to read. 

Forgetmenot. You said it yourself hun, you are just so scared of being hurt again. Just meet the SW, you can still say no. Try not to beat yourself up. It's been such a hard journey for you. 

Hi to all others. Hope you're all ok. 

I had a day off today and me and mum tackled the wall stickers. Look amazing!!

Hugs to all xxx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Sounds exciting troodles x all coming together!!

Almost there.... Final hurdle xx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Well, what a day.  I am sure my sw hates me.  I am a pain.... I am sure she will get caller id or an injunction!

After slowly getting head around children....(looked at trampolines and slides as one of them loves them). Got told they can't make the meeting.  Gutted.  Now have to wait almost 3 weeks.  Ridiculous... They suggested them.  Think it's a shame.  This has been going on since before xmas.... And just think it would take months.  They are now only seeing us, but they don't seem to be in a rush.  Dh hit nail on head, 3 months until meeting is like an 8th of her life already.....that's before get into anything

I was really disappointed so guess that is a good sign, or maybe a sign of another kind x

Hope everyone else is well..... Roll on Friday evening xx


----------



## Ozzycat

Ah forgetmenot u guys really are having a hard time of it.. when ur little ones are finally in ur home and calling you mummy and daddy it would all of been worth it x sending you hugs x

Im loving reading about all these matches and intros.. im soooo excited for when its finally our turn  
2nd meeting tomorrow and ive been baking and cleaning since I got home.. dh thinks im nuts but u ladies get it ;-)
Happy Friday everyone. . 1 day till the weekend  
Xxxxx


----------



## PixieMcG

Sorry for no personals today. I haven't been on in a while and had so many pages to catch up on.

Welcome to all the new ladies and congrats to all of the ladies who are approved. 

Good luck to those of you who have panel dates coming up too.

We're still meeting with out SW every two weeks even though I would prefer weekly but she has a busy case load and every two weeks is all she can manage. I find it frustrating because some meetings we recover things we have already discussed and I get the impression this is to catch us out. 

She mentioned that the second opinion visit is likely to be April or May with a view for a panel date in June.


----------



## Laws1612

Hi girls. 
Hope your all well.....
I feel bad posting positives when I no a few are really suffering.so just a quickie. 
All is going well.....better than was excepted and we can't believe how happy we are. A few waves of panic and worry but I think that's fair enough considering we have got from none to two childern lol.....

It's my birthday Monday we have midway meeting then hoping for it to get brought forward an extra day but we will see....no real plans just trip to the farm the four of us low key but I'm sure extra special birthday for me xxxx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Congrats laws x how old are your little blues? Xx

Ps don't feel bad, so lovely to hear positive stories and remember there is light at the end of the tunnel x you girls deserve it, enjoy mummyhood xx


----------



## teamug

Aww Laws so happy for you, can't wait to get to that stage


----------



## PixieMcG

Awe laws don't feel bad it's great to hear positive stories. 

Sounds like a lovely way to spend your birthday.


----------



## Loki Girl

Laws - don't be silly - we love to hear all these positive stories. What a fab birthday u are going to have!!!!!

FMN - how you doing hun? I can't believe everything you are going through. What are they thinking?!!!! What age did u get approved for and what age are these siblings? I would honestly say if my heart wasn't in it maybe you need to hold out. I would still meet the social worker and then see how you feel. I know you really want your kids and I can't really say how I would feel having not seen any profiles and having my heartstrings pulled lol but I think honestly I would expect to feel a connection to the profile? Anyway it will work out I am sure of it one way or the other  

Well got to fly off to work. We are doing a circus theme for the farm for half term so it's all busy rehearsing lol. 

Have a good weekend ladies xx


----------



## Bluebell261

Hi all,

Hope you are all ok.

It's so nice hearing lovely news Law, a family day out to the farm for your birthday. It's what our dreams are made of! Have a fantastic day.

I wanted to ask you ladies how long we should expect to wait for the LA allocated to us after a consoteium open evening to contact us? We attended on Wed 28th, had a letter more or less straight away telling us who we had been assigned to, but have had no contact with them... It's not a great sign of things to come me thinks.. Any thoughts?

Thanks for any advice, hope you all have great weekends Xx


----------



## Freedo

Hi ladies , sorry I haven't posted since Tuesday, but since we were matched I habe been in a daze and had headache constantly like tension headache!! It seems to be easing a bit now, well the internal sw meeting is 23 rd and we meet medical adviser and foster carer on the 24th, panel 10 march and intros start on the 23rd! My last day in week will be the 17th March and off until Jan! I have bought a few bits of clothing, but today we are going for pram and cot bed etc, at the moment everything is very pink!!! Lying in bed at the moment chilling!! Hope everyone is ok . Xxxxx


----------



## Troodles

Awww Laws glad it's going well. What a fantastic birthday. The best present you could have wished for. 

Freedo so exciting isn't it. I can't stop buying things hehe

Finishing rooms off today. They look so odd with cot beds in. I keep going in and just staring!!  Enjoy buggy shopping. We couldn't even get any of them to fold  down lol

Hi to all. Hope you have a lovely weekend xxxx


----------



## Bluebell261

Wow Freedo how exciting!!!! Enjoy your shopping day. Again it's what dreams are made off. Very happy for you, enjoy every moment.

Troodkes, enjoy finishing rooms off. It made me smile when you said you go into the room and just stare. I would be the same!! Enjoy!


----------



## Laws1612

hi all thanks very much..we are just waiting for them to be dropped off....they are 3 and 1 and its just so lovely...cant even think of the words to describe xxx
freedo that such a lovely experience enjoy yourself xxx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Sorry i havent been posting. Nothing to report. It is lovely to hear about all the lovely updates as it makes us all sure that we will get there soon too xxxx


----------



## Ozzycat

Ah ladies keep these lovely updates coming,  im so excited for you all x
Can't wait to start shopping for our little one, hope we don't have to wait too long x
Happy weekend everyone and happy birthday Laws x


----------



## tractorgirl

Hi everyone - haven't been on for ages but so glad things seem to be moving on for lots of you 

We go to matching panel a week on Monday (eek) for our six-year-old boy. We can't believe it's come round so quickly. If panel goes ok, our intros start on 23 March and these are for a week.

Freedo - our intros start on the same day so it would be good to hear how you get on. How long are your intros for? Our foster carers only live 40 minutes away so at least we don't have that far to travel.

As I'd saved up four weeks' annual leave, I finish work the end of this month - three weeks left! That gives me three weeks' holiday before intros. I'm going to make the most of some lie-ins, I can tell you!  

We've got some theraplay training between panel and intros, so looking forward to that. Not sure hubby is, though. The foster carer went on the same course and mentioned an exercise when she had to sing to her partner - now hubby is really panicking because he doesn't know any children's songs and wonders whether he'll get away with some Paul McCartney!

Our LO's bedroom is just about done. We finished our photo book and got it printed just in case panel want to see it. We're also going to try to do a DVD  - not really looking forward to doing that, but we'll make it short and fun. Once panel's out of the way, we can finish buying bits for him - trampoline is at the top of that list! We've also got to sort out school, which could be a pain. His SW would like him to start school after Easter - depending on how well he settles in, but our local school has initially said they're not keen on having him ( no reasons why). I've contacted the head to see if we can see her and she wrote a positive email back - not dismissing our LO - so hopefully they'll take him on when they get more info on him. But our SW has warned us to think of plan B and other local schools. I assumed the school has to take him because he has a SEN, but obviously if they can't get the support in to help him, they can refuse? It's complicated and we could do without it, but hopefully it'll be ok.

Anyway, it's lovely reading everyone's updates - keep them coming   xx


----------



## pyjamas

We cant wait to go shopping too. OK, actually maybe its just me! PO hearing is 11th/ 12th Feb so maybe we will find out on Friday 13th! Very hard waiting for outcome. Have booked Reflexology treatment to help with stress! x


----------



## pyjamas

Am now on three weeks annual leave. Not the best time of year to take it but I had been saving up to help cover time off I may need for things like meetings and matching panel. Have to take it now or lose it. no doubt I will spend most of my time wishing it away as we wait for news! x


----------



## Cbelle1

Just had out first social worker visit, she was lovely and it wasn't half as scary as I was expecting!! She said we are a very straightforward couple and had no hesitation recommend recommending us to attend the training. 

We are really doing this, I'm so excited right now!!

Chelle
Xx


----------



## Sweetnats

Chelle that's great news! We have our stage 1 meeting on Wednesday. Although we have had a brief chat with our social worker at our initial meeting already and have been penciled in on our 4 days training  exciting times


----------



## becs40

Well we got through matching panel today so just got to wait for the ratification and then we'll finally be adopters rather than foster carers! One step closer. 
Matching panel enjoyed having little man there too as obviously they never usually see the children and he was impeccably well behaved of course! 😊


----------



## Ozzycat

Becs thats amazing,  such wonderful news.. not long till little man is forever yours :-D
Chellebelle and sweet hope things more forward quickly for you now ur in the process.. we really enjoyed our training days. .
Well were 2 joint meetings down and today I had my individual meeting with the sw.. were so lucky, I really really like her and probably the type of person we would of been friends with outside of adoption. . And she'll be our sw all the way thro to matching and will even be at court with us when the adoption order gets granted so were very lucky.
Im also sort of enjoying it. . Tho 3hrs of talking about myself was pretty full on!!

How are the introductions going ladies. . Cant wait to hear more x
Hugs to everyone else x


----------



## Lorella

Becs - absolutely fantastic news xxxx


----------



## Troodles

WOOHOO great news Becs xxxxx

Hi all. Lots of love and hugs xxx


----------



## Sweetnats

Great news Becs. Congratulations!!! One step closerr


----------



## Primmer

Becs - that's great news! 

Ozzycat - glad that meetings are going well and that you get on with your sw, sure that makes all the difference to how you find the process.


----------



## Loki Girl

Congrats Becs. So happy for you. 

Ozzy - glad things are going well. I think it's so much better if your SW gets u if u know what I mean lol. I know what you mean I found it exhausting talking about myself and I had to do 2 individual sessions as well. Our next joint meeting I think I let DH do all the talking lol. 

I was at work yesterday and this lady was saying how lovely everyone was on the farm and how helpful I was. She said I bet you have children dont you? I said no not yet but we had been approved to adopt. Suddenly she was like oh we adopted our little girl at 13mths (think she was about 3 now) she said she was lovely bright, sociable, well above her years so not to listen too much to the doom and gloom some SW's paint. I know it felt to us all these children will have all these problems but everyone I have met their kids are doing great!! Was really nice and refreshing  chatting to her. 

Hi everyone else


----------



## Barbados Girl

Becs, that is fab. Hope they jolly well thanked you for your resilience, patience and dedication to little man as they fannied around for months!


----------



## Forgetmenot

Congrats Becs!!

Lovely to hear Loki xx

Hopefully not much longer xx


----------



## Barbados Girl

Loki Girl, that is lovely. I think it is the increased risk of issues that makes it seem like a forgone conclusion, plus the fact people tend to post when having a hard time! We know the risks. When things go well, it just seems so unexpected!


----------



## Laws1612

hi all.....

last day of intros today. tomoro they move in and I cannot wait. dont get me wronf I had a wobble yesterday just pure fear and anxious at the fact these little guys are mine now. ...we have waited for so long and now there here....all good now tho!!! sat watching films today whilst little button is in bed....feels great!!!

becs congrats you have done it now. 

troddles not long for you now.....bet you can't wait....

good luck tractorgirl for monday I hope the week flies by xx

Hello everyone else....xxx good to finally catch up on all the updates


----------



## Troodles

Amazing Laws. So happy for you. I bet you still can't believe its happening. I still don't believe it myself. Matching panel next week!!!

Can't wait to hear all your updates. If you ever get time with 2 little ones running around lol

Lots of love xxx


----------



## Lorella

Laws - have a great day tomorrow. Very excited for you. Makes me think back to the day Loretta came home. Is all a bit of a blur now so make sure you take everything in as it's a day to remember. Your boys are lucky to have you xxx


----------



## becs40

Thanks for all the congrats guys, now just want to get to applying for the Ao then we can move on with our lives!

Laws hope everything goes smoothly for you tomorrow! Very exciting and terrifying day in equal measures! Once they're home though you'll be too busy to worry about getting it wrong. (Says the grown woman that was in tears on our first outing as realised when we were half way to our destination I hadn't put a hat on little man! Cue an unscheduled stop at mothercare to buy one! )😀


----------



## notgivingup

Congrats Becs!!!  

Laws - have a great day tomorrow - 1st day of the rest of your new family life!  

Next week We have a 1st meeting with social workers about a profile we have fallen for hook, line and sinker (whilst trying hard to not to!) - got to feed 4 social workers for lunch!!!   What do I make for lunch and any suggestions what they might ask us - we have a list for them already! 

Xx


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Becs - fantastic news!

Laws - you are going to be fine sweetie, it's such a wonderful time for you.

Hello to everyone else, hope you are all having a good week 

AFM - our panel date had been changed and is now 16 March. It's due to having too many couples to see on the same day, 6 of which are matching panels.  I am disappointed but it gives our SW extra time to finish our report. We read the first draft yesterday and although it is very complimentary we felt a bit flat. I'm not sure if it's because your reading about yourself or the way it's been written. It does cover everything in detail and the SW has described us very well. Did anyone else feel weird ready theirs?

We have also wanted to matched to a sibling group (2 or 3), our SW has never really spoken about any potential matches before but during the last visit she said she had a sibling group of 3. We never asked for any further details and she didn't offer a profile, afterwards we said to each other I wonder why we didn't ask for further info and our SW also said are you sure you will consider 3 as you didn't light up when I mentioned them. To be honest I think it didn't register as we've always been told to wait until we've been approved. I wonder if we should ask our SW if we can start seeing profiles!!! 

X


----------



## Troodles

Laws. This is it!!! Hope you have an amazing day. Those lucky little boys have got a fantastic new mummy and daddy.  Will be thinking of you all day. 

Notgivingup hope you're day goes well too. Maybe just a light lunch. Sandwiches salad, fruit? Quick and easy. SWs didn't really ask us much about our 2 blues, it was us asking mainly. Just how do we feel about the possible match and would we like to go ahead. It was more of a chat and we saw more photos and a video clip. 

Paulapumpkin. It's so frustrating isn't it. Our matching panel was put back 4 weeks due to my work but still annoying. Like you say, gives you and SW more time to prepare. We're still not ready so glad of the extra time! Lol. We were told about our blues as we came out of panel and were so shocked that we didn't react at all. Just didn't feel real (still doesn't to be honest!!). We are totally in love with the boys now and can't wait to meet them but there's never been an amazing moment with doves flying and Angels singing which is what I expected!!  There was nothing telling us no and it felt right so we just kept progressing.  I think maybe you get more of a feeling if it's a definite no. 
As for PAR yes I think it's normal to feel like that. It's weird reading about your entire life in somebody else's view. I just thought if I was a stranger reading this, I'd give us kids!! Lol

Good luck all. Lots of love and hugs xxx


----------



## Lorella

Mummy
Lorella
Becs
Laws

Mummy to be
Freedo ( linked)
Troodles( linked)
Tractor Girl ( linked)
Teabag
Nicola
Ruthie
Pyjamas 
Forgetmenot
Primmer
Lou's mummy
Twink
Not giving up
Tigerfeet
Loki Girl
RocketJ

Panel zone
Rose - March 11th
Paulapumpkin - March 16th
Pringle - March 18th
Ozzycat - April 13th


Starryeyed - TBC
MrsZetti - TBC

Starting out 2015
Sweetnats
Kylie47
Chellebelle


----------



## becs40

Had to share this. Ordered this beautiful box for little mans memory box. Not cheap but it didn't seem right putting his precious things to be kept for him in an ordinary box.


----------



## Primmer

Becs - the box looks lovely!!


----------



## Loki Girl

Awww Becs - love it!!!!!

Laws - hope today goes well and your little men settle in well. Enjoy finally being a family  

Paula - shame you got delayed but better to get everything right. It will fly by and you will soon be approved!!!

Well we had our first meeting with our new link worker today. She was very nice but seemed very nervous and has only just qualified as a social worker so any questions we have she will prob have to go ask   so bit disappointed but sure she will be fine. Also bit disappointed that they said the LA at the mo have no matches available. That doesn't mean that nothing is going on tho they said as they will not show us profiles of children who don't have placement orders, or they haven't spoken to the children's social workers etc. Basically we see nothing until they decide it's a potential match, they have spoken to the child's SW and they agree it's a potential match then they show us. Annoying but prob better than seeing profiles, getting your hopes up and then it doesn't go ahead for whatever reason. Disappointing but will just have to wait. I expressed my concerns about what some of you ladies have had about just sitting there and hearing nothing so she has agreed to give us a ring in 3 weeks unless something comes up sooner which prob won't. 

So am joining the rest of you grinding my teeth, getting on with life and praying for a phone call. I guess in some respects when they do say we have a profile at least we know we will be the only ones being considered and that the SW's are for us. They said to give them 3mths to find children in house for us. Do I count that from now or 6th Jan when we got approved cus that's a month gone already lol!!!! Not sure how it all works after then but guess we will ask her and she will go ask someone else   

Anyways trying not to feel too bitter but was just unrealistically hoping for a lovely surprise and she turned up with a profile not to out rightly say there is no match   Feeling bit sorry for myself anyways as AF due and my friend who had her 3rd frozen IVF from an old batch of eggs is having triplets from 2 frozen eggs put back!!! My IVF days are behind me and I am happy to be approved but I'm still like why is that her and not me!!!!!!! Oh well trying not to dwell. DH and I are looking at cruises   Can't have a child so why not have a cruise    

Hope you are all having a good day


----------



## Tw1nk82

Becs love the box so cute xxx

Laws hope today has gone well for you xxx

Paula sorry about your delay but it wont be long now xxx

Loki welcome to the waiting game. It will drive you nuts but we are all here for you xxx

I have made two enquires on be my parent today hoping that one of the sw will be in touch. I am already imagining them as ours xxx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Exciting x hope they come back to you soon xx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Welcome to the world of waiting Loki xx


----------



## pyjamas

Placement order hearing today


----------



## Ozzycat

Good luck pyjamas,  got everything crossed for you   xxx


----------



## Primmer

Pyjamas - hoping everything works out at the placement hearing today x


----------



## becs40

Pyjamas, thinking of you. I hope they let you know as soon as possible and don't prolong the pain of waiting any longer for you.   X


----------



## Sweetnats

Good Luck Today Pyjamas


----------



## pyjamas

Thanks guys. It would be nice to hear before the weekend as if not we will be so stressed by Monday!xx


----------



## Cbelle1

Just heard that our training days 1&2 have been moved to April, so that means stage 1 is already longer than 2 months. Ho hum, guess I better used to this!
Pyjamas - have you tried phoning your sw or is she calling you?

Chelle
X


----------



## Sweetnats

Hope you here soon pyjamas. 

Chelle ours is in April. Had our medicals now and had our stage one interview yesterday which was fab. Our stage one sw is so lovely and it's so easy to talk to her. Just working on all our par now


----------



## Primmer

Good news for us at last, we are being considered for a little boy. His social workers will be visiting us next Wednesday afternoon! We are in the middle if decorating our lounge so going to spend the weekend trying to get as much done with the painting as possible and tidying up everywhere else. Fingers crossed all goes well.


----------



## Forgetmenot

Awesome news!! How exciting x how old is little one?  Did you link with him, or soley through your sw? Xx


----------



## AoC

Everything crossed, pyjamas!


----------



## Primmer

FMN - he will be 4 yrs old in July, we saw his profile at an exchange day a few weeks ago and asked our sw to contact his sw with our PAR. We then received his CPR and said we remained interested in him and then his sw contacted ours and said they would like to meet us.


----------



## pyjamas

OMG! cannot believe it. SW phoned yesterday afternoon to let us know PO was granted. Matching panel in March and intros early April.  xx


----------



## Ozzycat

AMAZZZZZZZZING
soooooooo pleased for you. . What fab news, u deserve this after waiting so long x


----------



## GERTIE179

Pyjamas - I'm soooo made up for you especially after your long wait. What fantastic news!
X


----------



## RocketJ

Pyjamas, that's brilliant, and great news from Primmer too!! It seems things are starting to move for a few people - perhaps the SWs are starting to pick up speed again after the lull over the Christmas period.

I heard yesterday that the SW for a child I'm interested in has decided they would like to read my PAR - it's taken 3 months to get to this point as initially they were determined to look for a 2 parent family, so I'm hopeful that this is a good sign and they will consider me seriously. Just frustrated that I now have to wait until Tuesday for my SW to send my PAR to them as she doesn't work on Mondays!


----------



## Primmer

Pyjamas - that is great news!!!! So pleased for you! X


----------



## Cbelle1

Congrats pyjamas!!!  A norfolk success gives me so much hope
Xxx


----------



## liveinhope

Great news Pyjamas!


----------



## pyjamas

Surely if it can happen for me after waiting so long, then it can happen for anybody else! Cant wait to meet our gorgeous daughter  x


----------



## Forgetmenot

Fab news pj and primmer x sounds like a plan is coming together xx


----------



## Lorella

Pyjamas and Primmer - such great news! Really pleased for you both xxx


----------



## becs40

Primmer congrats, fabulous news!

And pyjamas absolutely brilliant! Finally an end in sight for you or should I say beginning!

Congratulations to you both!

Laws hope everything went well with the move and you're enjoying your new family.


----------



## Barbados Girl

Pyjamas eeeeeeek!!!! So, so chuffed for you. How old is your princess?


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Fab news Pyjamas and Primmer xxx


----------



## Sweetnats

Fab news primmer and pyjamas


----------



## Tw1nk82

Brilliant news xxx


----------



## Troodles

Fantastic. Well done Primmer and PJs. And greatness too Rocket. Fingers crossed. 

Hope all is going well Laws. 

6 more sleeps for us!!!

Hope you're all having a fab weekend. Lots of love and hugs xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Yay congrats to both PJ and Primmer. So excited it's coming together for you guys


----------



## pyjamas

Barbados girl - our LO is now 10 months old. We were originally told about her in October but then PO was not granted. We are disappointed to have missed most of her first year but hoping for many happy moments once she is home, hopefully in early April just before her birthday xx


----------



## tractorgirl

Hi everyone - hope you're all ok. We've just got back from matching panel and got a unanimous yes. 😃  I think this panel was more stressful than the approval panel - it was much longer. Thankfully, our lo's social worker got grilled quite a bit as he is a complex little boy, but she did a fab job and they said they were impressed with us. They asked us about our journey since we met him at an activity day back in October; they asked about what my husband would do if he didn't attach to him (which is a possibility); how we would cope with his behaviour when he was lashing out; how we keep our animals safe with him; internet security (as apparently he's a very IT-savvy six-year-old; and what training we have done since approval panel. The whole thing was about an hour but they made a very quick decision. They loved our photo book - and even said it was the best they had ever seen, which was a nice surprise. We've just got the ratification to get through and then we can really feel like parents.

Now it's really starting to feel real. We saw a quick glimpse of our intros plan, which didn't seem too bad, but we'll get that confirmed in the next few weeks. I can now finish work in two weeks' time - yay! Then three weeks holiday and lay-in time before intros. 

I think a Chinese and bottle of vino is on the menu tonight. Wow! What a day. 😂 xxxxx


----------



## Troodles

Oh wow that's amaIng Tractor girl. Well done. I bet you can hardly believe it. 

What was your book like then? Just finishing off ours for Friday. Thought rhis one would be better than approval. I feel sick now lol

Enjoy you celebrations tonight. You deserve them!! Xx


----------



## tractorgirl

Hi Troodles - I just used the iPhoto software on my Mac. You can create all sorts of styles of books in there. It just seemed easier than getting stuff printed and sticking them in an album and I honestly thought they would think I was lazy for going down this route. I know lots of people put a lot of effort into their books. I took an easy option, but they liked it. With a month to go before intros, I thought if they didn't like it, I had time to do another one. More importantly, our lo's social worker thought he would love it, which is what counts.

Our panel was long, simply because our boy is quite complex. They had loads of questions for his SW, and she did an amazing job. She has a very strong character and firmly believes in him - she's determined he gets the best outcome. Fortunately for us, she's been on our side and believes in us as well, so we are lucky she's so good at her job.

Don't worry - the questions themselves will be fine. They won't try to catch you out. If your lo is complex, they might have extra questions, that's all. I get myself in a state anyway so I was extra stressed.

Good luck for Friday!! xxxx


----------



## Primmer

TractorGirl - great news - congratulations!


----------



## Tw1nk82

Congratulations tractor girl so exciting xxx


----------



## Lorella

Huge congrats Tractorgirl!
xxx


----------



## becs40

Congrats tractorgirl! There seems to be quite a few imminent mummies now! Hopefully the other mummies to be will have a short wait now.
Troodles our matching panel we got a bit of a grilling but was find and friendly although DH  left me to answer most of the questions! It was a bit easier I guess because we had our little one in there with us so he helped us break the ice and they loved him.


----------



## notgivingup

Massive congrats tractor girl! That's fab! make the most of those lazy relaxing lie-ins! 

Xx


----------



## Kylie47

Hi all

I haven't been on here for a while, wow so much good news! 

A massive congrats to Tractor Girl, Primmer and Pajamas, so happy for you   

We've now had our medicals and met our allocated SW for the first time. She seems lovely, so a good start! Filled in lots of forms and lots more to go. Booked in for two days prep group  training next month. 

I have to say since beginning the adoption process I haven't felt as happy and optimistic in a long time! I know that it won't all be plain sailing and we may have tough times ahead ..  but right now it all feels so right for us  

Hope everyone is having a good we so far xx


----------



## Ozzycat

Amazing news tractorgirl.. loving this growing mummy list :-D
Kylie.. it does feel good to finally feel like ur heading down the mummy-to-be road with what will hopefully be a wonderful outcome. . Since stopping ivf and starting this adoption journey so many people have commented how positive and happy I am.. its just nice to feel like ur moving forward again. . Good luck with everything and when the process hits a hurdle feel free to rant away on here..
We registered an interest in a gorgeous little boy at the family finders evening a few weeks ago but they've gone with an approved couple which we thought would be the case so for now were not going to go to any more events until we are approved which is only 8weeks away!!
Keep the good news coming in ladies,  have a lovely week
Xx


----------



## Troodles

Thanks Tractorgirl. 

Our 2 don't have any issues/identified needs so hopefully panel will be good to us, although Im sure I'll get the, do you think you'll have enough energy question as I'm not a size 10!!!
Will bite my tongue. Again!!! Lol
Keep us posted on intros. 

Thanks Becs, maybe I should take The cat in with us for a bit of distraction!! 😻

Hi to all 
Xxx


----------



## pyjamas

SW phoned this morning. We are now going to meet Foster Carer on Thursday. SW is also going to call round later today with photo of LO for us. She visited her yesterday. Will be exciting to see photo as the only one we have seen so far was taken at about 3 months old and she is now 10 months old x


----------



## Primmer

Pyjamas - how exciting! Bet it will be lovely to see an updated photo


----------



## Barbados Girl

Pyjamas, amazing! They are simply edible at that age. All chubby, windmilling limbs. Our pixie was 8 1/2 months when he came home. Although I agree it is a shame to miss out on anything, the advantage of having mat leave when they are that age is you get a really fun stage. For a lot of people with bc their babies just get super fun and they have to get back to work.

Sorry for no other personals, have to run to a meeting.


----------



## Troodles

Oooh so exciting PJs!! X


----------



## Lorella

Had been thinking exactly the same thing myself BarbadosGirl! 
Really excited for you PJs xx


----------



## Flash123

Me too BG. A magical time PJ. Just as many people's MAT is finishing yours will be starting!  As much as I would give anything to have had him from birth, I always felt we shared the best time in terms of change, development and excitement when i was home on adoption leave as wee man was just starting to see the world and want to experience it. It was magical. Enjoy xx


----------



## Ruthie82

I am so so sorry for not posting in a while, you have all been in my thoughts. I think I've need time to adjust to the change and bond with my family to be honest, our little one has been teething badly with a cold and now he has chickenpox so it has been all go. 

I have started to catch up but I don't think I can without getting behind again! so I will start afresh!

Love to all whereever you are in your journey.

x x


----------



## Lorella

Ruthie - didn't realise your LO was home! Have added you to mummy list! Sorry to hear he has been unwell and teething. Hope he feels better soon and you are enjoying mummyhood xxx

Mummy
Lorella
Becs
Laws
Ruthie

Mummy to be

Teabag
Nicola
Pyjamas (linked)
Tractor Girl ( linked)
Forgetmenot
Freedo(linked)
Troodles(linked)
Primmer
Lou's mummy
Twink
Not giving up
Tigerfeet
Loki Girl
RocketJ

Panel zone
Rose - March 11th
Paulapumpkin - March 16th
Pringle - March 18th
Ozzycat - April 13th


Starryeyed - TBC
MrsZetti - TBC

Starting out 2015
Sweetnats
Kylie47
Chellebelle


----------



## Ruthie82

Thank you Lorella, I hope all is well with your little one x


----------



## Loki Girl

Awww such lovely news on here at the mo. Let it continue in leaps and bounds this year!!! It has been manic on the farm and can't wait for my kids to experience it, circus shows, our 50 pregnant sheep who are all starting now to have their lambs. Our very first sheep to give birth had triplets!!! The kids are all so excited and it's so nice to see rather than them stuck at home in front of video games as most of our friends kids seem to be these days lol. After this it will be all systems go for our pirate adventure for Whitsun!! Just hoping maybe maybe I don't have to plan summer events cus I will be on adoption leave    

Anyways have a good week everyone and hope your little one feels better soon Ruthie. Off for another manic day lol xx


----------



## Primmer

Today is the day! We meet blues social workers this afternoon to find out more about him and to discuss his needs. Keep going from excitement hoping this is the one for us to panic that he might not be the right one!! Driving myself mad


----------



## liveinhope

Hope all goes well Primmer


----------



## pyjamas

Best wishes Primmer. Very exciting to have some photos of our LO now. It helps to make it feel more real. SW says that when we visit FC tomorrow LO will be there too so we can have a cuddle!


----------



## Ruthie82

Loki - Sounds like you have been busy, but it seems like its fun fun fun busy which is always lovely 

Primmer- How did it go yesterday?

Pyjamas - It is lovely receiving pics! A cuddle and a squeeze how exciting

Love to all x


----------



## becs40

Pyjamas I hope you enjoy your long awaited for cuddle today! Good luck.

It seems strange posting on here now, the whole process seems like a lifetime ago now! Little man is asleep in his cot upstairs at the mo,meh had already had a morning nap but woke at 9.00am so had some breakfast and a bit of play, went upstairs to get dressed and was clearly very tired half way through getting dressed do popped him back into hus sleeping fav and rocked him back of again. I guess that's what happens when you get up at 6 you're  very tired by 9 despite having had a half hour nap.
It's always on the days you plan to do done thing their routine goes haywire, we're popping into work today with matching certificate etc do I can go into adoption leave now. At least it doesn't matter too much when we go down there as long as it's before 12 or after 2.


----------



## pyjamas

Absolute bliss today with husband and I getting to have cuddle with LO! Hard to hand her back and leave though. FC seems friendly which is a big relief. Now need to get talking picture album done and big laminate photo of us. Intros start 6th April which seems ages away. We have a weekend to London planned in March as a last only us jaunt!


----------



## Troodles

Oh wow PJs that's fantastic. When we met FC she had arranged for the Blues to be looked after. Would loved to have met them!!

Love hearing about your sleepy little one Becs. So cute. 

We have matching panel tomorrow. Nerves starting to kick in!! Talking photo books done, laminated pics done and 2 transition toys which we've slept with for a week ready to go!!!

Lots of love to all xxx


----------



## becs40

Ooh Troodles how exciting! You'll be fine!

Pyjamas how wonderful! It's so special that first moment, did you get photos?
I thought our lo was really good with us and happy and when I look at those photos now, his little face looks so bewildered! The time will fly by now with you preparing for her coming home.


----------



## pyjamas

Good Luck for tomorrow troodles. You will soon be mummy troodles! Our MP is on 17th March. x


----------



## Barbados Girl

First cuddle...he seemed so tiny. Not like the bruiser who accidentally kicked me in the face yesterday!


----------



## tractorgirl

Good luck tomorrow, Troodles xx


----------



## Singing lass

Hi ladies,

I'd love to join you if that's ok?

Approved October, now officially linked to little blue with matching panel set for 10 March - everyone seems super positive but I'm terrified something goes wrong...

Not the best day with a meeting with my boss and HR to discuss my leave - because we're really busy in March my boss wants me to work up to 2 days before introductions....

Ho hum, looking forward to hearing all your stories 😀


----------



## Troodles

Thank you ladies. This is it!!!!!

Welcome singing lass. I know exactly how you feel. Everyone is so excited but I'm just terrified!!
Good luck

Hi to all xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Troodles - you will be fine tho prob more nerve wracking than approval panel lol. Can't wait to see your update later will be thinking of you  

Pyjamas - sounds wonderful. I'm sure time will fly by the time you start preparing and getting stuff etc. 

Singing Lass - welcome, not long before your matching panel also. Our list of Mummies to Be is growing nicely but will be even better when I am on it    

Becs I can imagine once they are home and settled the whole process seems a distant memory which is fab. Can't wait for that point. At the mo can't even begin to imagine what I will feel when our SW calls and says she has a profile!!! One of these days and hopefully in the not so distant future!!!

Primmer -how did you get on?

Have a good day everyone


----------



## Primmer

Troodles - good luck today, sure you will be fine and look forward to hearing about it later.


Well, fingers crossed, we may have found our little blue! He is older than we would have liked initially but he sounds just right for us and can imagine him as part of our family. The sw and family finder who visited were both really nice and friendly. They have said that our sw needs to contact them on Monday and confirm we want to proceed. Excited and nervous at the same time.


----------



## Freedo

Good luck Troodles xxx


----------



## Lorella

Good luck Troodles! Xxx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Wow lots of exciting news.... Welcomes and matching x good luck!!

So nice to hear lots of positive stories x


----------



## Tw1nk82

Good luck troodles xxx


----------



## Lorella

Ruthie - Loretta is amazing. We love her so much. I can not imagine life without her. She is taking tottery steps now which is so cute and her baby talk is so sweet too. It's weird to think if we hadn't gone down this path we wouldn't have her. We have first adoption hearing in a few weeks. How is little man? Hope feeling better. 

Becs - once you think you're in a routine something else changes! I am thinking of dropping down to one nap as she's not been going down so well in the mornings. Was gonna start today and made plans for whole morning and then this morning she's really tired by 9 so had to put her down! Glad enjoying motherhood. 

Pjs - that's amazing! So pleased it's going well. 

Singing Lass - welcome and congrats on your link and good luck with matching panel. It will be fine. They will love you!

Primmer - how exciting. I am really pleased for you! 

Hi to everyone else. Hope you are doing ok xxx


----------



## becs40

Yep it's a constantly evolving routine Lorella! Little man struggles going more than a couple of hours between naps so who knows when we'll be down to one nap a day! Loving the nicer weather now though as like to leave him outside in the buggy after our morning walk. I like to get out for that nap, nice bit of fresh air sets me up for the day and he seems to sleep better in the buggy for that nap - maybe it's the fresh air although I do put the raincover on the buggy to keep the chill out. Also handy that I don't feel the need to be quiet and can get on with things whilst he's outside. I just bought a second cheaply baby monitor that I use for when he's out there as have the camera in his room. 
He enjoyed his visit to work yesterday and had cuddles with lots of ladies but was always looking at me and where I was which was great. He's at such a lovely age now, giggling away and enjoying everything (well bar nappy changes!). Work gave us some vouchers for John Lewis yesterday so I've ordered him a lovely little Frugi outfit with them. 
Has anyone heard how Laws is getting on? Hands very full with 2 littlies I'm sure!


----------



## liveinhope

Missed your news Primmer, was keeping an eye out!  Congratulations on little blue

Loads of great news on this board!


----------



## pyjamas

Great news Primmer. Hope all goes smoothly. Still waiting for the reality to sink in. BIG shopping trip planned for Saturday to pick up some of the stuff we need. Bet the prices will bring us down to earth rapidly! x


----------



## Ozzycat

I miss 2 days of updates and ive just read a barage of amazing and exciting news.. im so pleased for all u ladies,  I can't wait to be matched and start shopping. 
Good luck today troodles
Fab news on the potential match primmer and pyjamas,  I can't tell u how lovely it is to read ur updates after uve waited so long x
And lorella and becs, its so lovely and reassuring to read how quickly uve bonded with ur little ones and how much lov u feel for them already x
Our sw is visiting all our references next week and then we have 2 more sessions till panel eeeekkkk

Lots of lov to everyone else
Happy Friday everyone x


----------



## Troodles

BIG
FAT
YES!!!!!!!!
can't believe it x


----------



## Primmer

Yay Troodles - great news !!! X


----------



## liveinhope

Great news Troodles


----------



## tractorgirl

Well done, Troodles! xx


----------



## Lorella

Fantastic news Troodles!!!! Will change the front page! 
I am soooooooo excited and pleased for you xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

YAY TROODLES


----------



## Cbelle1

well done Troodles!!!!!
xx


----------



## notgivingup

Congratulations Troodles - that's fab news! When do your intros start? 

We had a very exciting week.  After meeting their 3 social workers, we are now officially linked to a pink and a blue.  Panel is booked for early April, and they should be home end of April, all being well! I go from grinning like a loon to being terrified! The credit card is about to take a hammering now. Let the shopping commence! 

Things seem to be picking up on here a bit since the lull of Xmas.


----------



## becs40

Congrats Troodles! Fab news!

Notgivingup also fab news! As you say quite a lot going on these days!

Lorella how are you keeping up with all these updates? 😄


----------



## pringle

Congratulations Troodles, so happy for you 

Brilliant news not giving up, enjoying the spending spree 

Pringles xx


----------



## Troodles

Thanks ladies. Intros start on 6 March so only 2 weeks. Luckily I haven't stopped shopping for the last couple of weeks. Couldn't help myself!! Lol

Notgivingup that's amazing news. Congratulations. Enjoy the shopping. 

Becs I heard from Laws today and she's doing well. Absolutely knackered I think!!!

Love to all xxx


----------



## Lorella

Notgivingup - fab news Hun! So pleased for you x

Becs - I think I'm keeping up! Have been changing the front page. Let me know if anyone wants anything added/changed that I've missed. 

Xxx


----------



## Primmer

NotGivingUp - great news, how exciting!


----------



## Primmer

Think I remember a pot on here about a booklet you could pay for, download and then print off which was for family about your child coming home , but I can't find it. Sure I haven't made it up - can anyone else remember it


----------



## Ozzycat

Primmer its called before I arrive and its by Helen Townsend.. I bought it through the adoption. Uk website,  its really sweet x


----------



## pringle

Primer I have bought this book and got it of the adoption uk website like oozycat said. It's a lovely book & both of our parents have found it lovely to read.

Pringles xx


----------



## Primmer

Thanks Ozzycat & Pringle


----------



## pyjamas

BIG shopping trip yesterday. Cot,highchair and buggy bought along with loads of other stuff! Husband has the job of putting them together today so I can practice how they work!


----------



## Primmer

How exciting pyjamas!!! Can't wait to be able to go shopping! Enjoy practising! X


----------



## becs40

Oh lovely pyjamas! Such fun isn't it! I was going round the living room with the buggy to get used to it.


----------



## Primmer

Good news for us today! The social worker for the little blue confirmed today that they want to proceed with us and we confirmed that we want to proceed. They are going to provide us a with few medical reports we haven't yet seen and then arrange a date for us to meet the foster carers and a few medical professionals. We should hear more back by the end of this week. At last it seems that matters are progressing for us!


----------



## pyjamas

Fab news Primmer!


----------



## alig1972

Hi 

We have our first meeting with the SW tomorrow afternoon. Can't explain how excited we are to be starting again after ditching the LA and now going with a VA who seem a lot more efficient and organised. Stage 1, here we come...! 

Ali


----------



## Lorella

Primmer - great news! Got goosebumps reading that as took me back to when we first were linked with Loretta x

Ali - pleased to hear things going well with VA X


----------



## Troodles

Fab news Primmer. So pleased. 

It's great shopping isn't it PJs. It's like something we've never been allowed to do. DH raises his eyes when I come home with bags every evening. Just can't help myself lol
Hope you got on with the buggy. I still can't work outs out. Double one is easy but single one is like rocket science!!!

The countdown is on. 10 more sleeps!!!!!!!

Good luck Ali. Hope all goes well. 

Hi to all. Lots of love XX


----------



## Sweetnats

Hello Ladies

Loving all the positivity on here lately  really keeps us going. SOOOOOOOO cant wait to shop... its something I have only ever dreamed about!!!

Just a quick question... I am just doing my "profile" (we are only at stage 1) and its about parents, etc, names, DOB and the list goes on. Do you do a brief run down or are they looking for a full Eamon Homes, Mine is on page 4 and have only just got to mum and dad having me haha


----------



## Ozzycat

Hi Sweetnates.. were in stage 2 just having our meetings with our sw..
For our profile I wrote 19pages and my hubby 20+
And our sw said the more the better. .. because we wrote so much weve had no homework (apart from some reading) its better to get it all down now as ull only have to add to it if ur sw dosnt think uve written enough. . Good luck x


----------



## Sweetnats

Thanks Ozzy, I did think that so have just started at mum and dad meeting etc and worked down from there


----------



## mrsc75

Hi ladies, I was wondering if i can formally join the group as a starter outer?
We have been doing some investigating, had a meeting with one social worker and are investigating two more LA's to try and decide which to go with.
Its going to be hard keeping up with the thread i think but will be really helpful for me to know how things work.
We have been through a lot to get to this point, as Im sure you all have....
Excited, scared and hopeful we will get our family one day...


----------



## Lorella

Welcome MrsC. I will add you to the starterouters on the front page xx


----------



## Troodles

Welcome hun and good luck xx


----------



## alig1972

Hi 

Lorella, can I be added as starting out as we have started Stage 1 and had our first meeting with the SW yesterday afternoon. 
It was a very draining experience, the next one is booked for 4th March. 

Ali


----------



## Lorella

Hi Ali. No probs. Sorry your first meeting was so draining. Hope next one is better 😊x


----------



## mrsc75

Been having a good read through everyones posts, I'm completely lost but loving the positivity and i can see how its going to be a long time before I'm where some of you are but soo encouraging.

x


----------



## pyjamas

Tomy talking photo album arrived through the post today so I expect husband will want to play with that when he gets home from work! Need to get big laminated photos of us sorted out to take along with photo album to Planning Meeting on 9th March x


----------



## notgivingup

Congrats Primmer! That's fab! 

Welcome to all the newbies! This thread is great for reading all others trials and tribulations on this path to becoming a family! Good luck. 

Sweetnats we never had to write anything like that other than our family tree and previous addresses so can't help sorry! 

Xx


----------



## Cbelle1

Hey all!

Hope everyone is doing OK today, we had our medicals this morning and everything was great, she wrote no concerns with either of us at all. Don't know why but I keep waiting for someone to say "no of course you pair are not suitable adopters!" so far no one has though  

Chelle
X


----------



## pyjamas

John Lewis delivered buggy today. We may have to move to a bigger house with all the stuff we have! Haha


----------



## becs40

exciting times pyjamas! I can't believe how much stuff we have had to find room for, it's crazy! 
What buggy did you go for and have you test driven it round the house yet? My dh made me laugh as because we're using washable nappies I used a large cuddly rabbit to show him how they went on so he suggested trying the buggy out with the rabbit in around the village! I declined!


----------



## Laws1612

Haha ha becs I had a big noddy toy I used to show hubby how to change a nappy....the things we do....xxx


----------



## Troodles

Haha haven't started him on the nappies yet but only a week to go EEEK!!!!  Wonder if the cat will be a willing volunteer? Lol

How can 2 little people need so much stuff?

I am enjoying the shopping though. 

Last weekend of freedom!!  Hope you're all well.

Have a great weekend xxx


----------



## Barbados Girl

We thought our flat was big once. It was also clean and I didn't find bits of toast secreted down the side of the sofa! Those days were quieter but defo less fun. Enjoy, ladies.


----------



## Laws1612

Troodles my god it gets worse....when you collect all belongings from foster carer!!! We thought we had a lot of stuff before we met the boys now I have had an estate agent round cause we need to move soon haha xxxx

Enjoy your weekend my lovely!!!! Xxxx


----------



## Troodles

Oh gawd. Send him round here after then! Lol

Hope you're enjoying being a mummy and not too knackered!!  Any tips much appreciated....!!!! Xxx


----------



## Lorella

I just washed a rice crispie off my foot in the shower!

Chellebelle - great news on your medicals. 

Troodles - enjoy your last wk of freedom!

Laws - hope things are going ok. 

Hi to all xxx


----------



## Ruthie82

Primer – soooo pleased for you

Troodles – not long now!! Excited for you

Laws – that made me laugh about nappies and hubbys

Toodles – Enjoy the last of the freedom 

Our little man is getting over the chickenpox phew although the extra cuddles have been lovely

Love to all


----------



## becs40

Ah nice to see you Laws, I guess those 2 littlies are keeping you very busy! 

We've discovered that if you kneel on a Playmat that had the teething rings hidden under it then it hurts almost as mush as standing on a Lego brick! 

Hello to all the newbies and everyone.

We've not done very well with finding groups etc that fit in with us but this am I'm determined to get to our stay and play session run by the LA for pre school adopters. Little nan is asleep in his cot for his morning nap as usually only naps half an hour in there rather than up to 2 hours in the buggy! It will be Sod's law today though that he'l sleep for longer! It's a nightmare trying to find things on when he's awake!


----------



## pyjamas

We have got an Oyster2 Stroller as it is very similar to what the FC uses and we wanted to get a buggy were you can change it from facing forward to facing back again as needed. x


----------



## Loki Girl

Aww ladies loving all these recent lovely posts. I am so excited and thrilled for you ladies who are finally completing their families. Let's hope a few more of us start to follow!!!

We are supposed to hear from SW for an update on Tues as to whether anything is happening but to be honest I doubt it as we would of heard. Only another month and then if nothing we can go national. I don't even want to contemplate that but tbh this new SW I find a lot more approachable than our old one who could be a bit intimidating at times. This one I will have no qualms saying ok you have had the 3mths that we promised to give you in order to find a child in house you haven't done that so what happens now. How do you find us a child. Will be frustrating to think in April it will be 3mths since we were approved!!! Still at least people have stopped asking us if we have heard anything. I was starting to get frustrated with them. I know it's because they are excited for us but tried to explain it was never going to happen straight away (we would never of been that lucky lol!!) and when something happens we will let you know!!! So they have stopped asking lol. Makes it easier to try and get on with our lives. Booked up a nice cruise in May just to keep ourselves sane. Annoying tho since told ourselves our big American one last year was going to be our last one together cus then the kids would be along and here we are booking another one just the 2 of us again. Oh well one of these days I will be wishing for some time for just the 2 of us     Oh waiting is soooooo hard. At least with the process there was always homework etc to do lol. Just wishing for a phone call that never comes is becoming frustrating!!!

Anyways I know some of you have been waiting much longer.  How you survived Pyjamas I don't know and here you finally are!!! I Know we will all get there just HURRY UP please hahaha. 

Got a rare weekend off so enjoying a lovely bit of shopping and a coffee   Have a good weekend everyone


----------



## Lorella

Pyjamas - we were recommended an Oyster 2 and that's what we got. It's great! Xxx


----------



## pyjamas

A lot of muttering is coming from the other side of the lounge as husband tries to put buggy together! x


----------



## becs40

Lol pyjamas I never let my dh near anything like that! I love the  forward facing, I would have still done the same with a birth child. It seems so odd to me to see pretty young babies facing forward, can't get my head round not seeing them. 
Ours is really easy to flip forward facing and I've done it a couple of times to use as a highchair when the restaurant ones have been no good for him.

Loki I hope you get some good news soon and any other mummies in waiting.

I went to our stay and play yesterday run by the LA and really enjoyed it, so did little man. He was the youngest there but not the smallest lol! We did pay the price though of an unsettled night because his naps were all out. He usually has a really good one in the morning the  2-3 shorter ones. As he only had 1/2 hour yesterday morning we spent the rest of the day battling sleep so went to bed overtired and then woke frequently. This happened when I met some friends for coffee as well earlier in the week, short morning nap then chaos for 24 hours! Really puts me off doing anything now in the mornings as the fall out is so great.

I am looking into a music for little people class as that is 10.45 so a bit later which we should be able to do.


----------



## Lorella

Pyjamas - I find with the oyster , it goes better in the boot if fold it rear facing. I do sometimes have it on forward facing now, if Loretta is not napping in it she loves to see what's going on! It's great it's so easy to switch between the two. 

Becs - glad group went well. We are trialling a music group next week too. 

Loki Girl - hope you hear something soon

Ritchie - glad little man feeling better

Troodles - not long now!

Hi to all xxx


----------



## Norma12

Hi, can I join the group please? We've just started stage one. Have 1st prep class this week. I've been reading the thread for a while, so nice to hear everyones progress.

I asked at our doctors how much medicals cost, £132 each, seems expensive. Im going to ask if there is amy flexibility. How much is average?

Thanks

C x


----------



## Forgetmenot

Our local authority paid for these, not sure if that's standrd but worth asking.

Good luck...it sure is a journey xx


----------



## Lorella

Hi and welcome Norma. LA's vary on whether they pay or not. We had to pay and was about the same as you xx


----------



## Troodles

Hi all 

Hope you're all having a lovely weekend. 

Pyjamas that really made me chuckle!!!  Think we've got buggy drill tomorrow. DH has zero patience so should be fun!!

Welcome Norma. Think we paid £110 each. Good luck with it all. 

Am laying in bed completely overwhelmed by today's events. Popped round to a friends for a quick cuppa and she'd thrown ,e a surprise baby shower. Loads of friends there and mummy and mummy in law. Also my best mate and a couple of other friends came down from London. I got loads of amazing pressies including annual passes to the local zoo. Can't believe it!!! Lots of tears but happy ones. 

Lots of love to you all xxx


----------



## becs40

Ah Troodles how fabulous! Lucky you to have such lovely thoughtful friends. 😊

Norma our LA paid for our medicals as well.


----------



## Forgetmenot

That's lovely troodles! Amazing.... So you should.... You deserve it as much as anyone else xx


----------



## Primmer

Troodles - that sounds amazing and no more than you deserve!!

Norma- welcome to this thread, we had to pay for our medicals. Good luck with it all x


----------



## Freedo

Hi all, first of all apologies again for not posting, I do read everyday and then feel bad for not posting!!! Troodles not long now! We are just behind you, we have matching panel with out little pink on 9 March, so only a week left. We met medical advisor and foster careers this week, when we went in foster carer's house I realised I knew his brother which makes it a lot more relaxed for intro's! What has been good since meeting them is they send us videos and pics! She is just adorable and was 7 months old this week.  Can't believe three weeks tomorrow we meet her!! Xx


----------



## tractorgirl

Morning, everyone - hope you're all ok. Apologies for not contributing much - it's been a hectic few weeks.

Well, our matching was ratified last week. I had my last day at work on Friday. We've got three weeks to enjoy our childless existence before intros start in the 23rd. Yikes.

It still doesn't feel real. I suppose that's the difference between pregnancy and adoption. We can't feel that natural bond with our children in the lead up to placement. I guess it won't feel real until that moment the foster carer opens the door and our LO is there waiting for us.

My credit card has taken a hammering this weekend, though ☺. We're off to collect our car seat this morning. Just the trampoline next. I'm just hoping that LO needs lots of new summer clothes - it's so exciting buying stuff for him.

We've got a meeting with our local school's headteacher this week. We still haven't had confirmation that they will take him after Easter, so fingers' crossed we can "sell" him and persuade them that he'll be a lovely addition to the school.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend, everyone! xxx


----------



## Freedo

Tractor girl, we start intros same day I forgot! Xx


----------



## Laws1612

hi all.....

im alive!! just about! ! wow being a oarent is really hard work.  we have had such an amazing time however now have two poorly boys plus teething. ....the joy. ..

they are both gorjus boys and im loving learning something new about them every day. 

the hugs kisses and smiles melt my heart and the mummy still seems too good to be true.

the first week was so hard on me more than anyone else boys did amazing and settled great I on the other hand a mini meltdown most days i had waited so long for this and all of a sudden I panicked and wasnt sure I wanted it. regert it now as everyday both boys grow that little bit more. 

we have met most of the family and they have all done amazing...kids and family haha....

I have been keeping up with all the news but just no time to post to be fair im having a late night tonight. ....you laugh but ive been in bed by 8 and asleep haha.

glad  to hear everyone is ok and all things are progressing theres so many matches at the moment its so lovely to read!! After all our long waits....

love to all xxx


----------



## Troodles

Thank you ladies. It was amazing. Still managed to buy loads today on top of it all. Just nowhere to put it all lol


Freedo and Tractor that's amazing news. Really not long now!  Can't believe in 5 more sleeps I'll be meeting them. Just can't imagine how that will feel or what do do!!! Still doesn't feel real. 


Laws glad you're starting to enjoy it, am getting a bit nervous now!!! Hope the boys aren't too poorly and start to feel better soon. 


Love to all xxx


----------



## becs40

Ah Laws it all sounds perfectly normal! I still have the odd meltdown, purely because I'm overtired usually! It's hard enough going from zero to one so can't imagine how hard zero to two is! More than twice as hard .i would imagine! I was going to bed at 8 initially then it slipped to 9 and now almost back to my old ways although often wish I were going to bed at the same time as little man. 😀
So many intros coming up its very exciting! Can't wait to hear all the news.


----------



## mrsc75

Ah troodles thats lovely the surprise baby shower! I would have been in meltdown!

just a quick visit, I'm reading but not really in the process yet, its so lovely to see how things progress.

Im going to an open evening this week, hubby is away so Im taking my mam, will be interesting for her too I think to see how things happen.  I spoke to a different LA this week who weren't that helpful to be honest, put me off a bit because of the length of time we have had since IVF not being long, she sounded like she couldn't be bothered to be honest and didn't ask me much about us at all just veered me towards their open afternoon, which was last week on friday during the day, not helpful.  Theres one we wont be going with I suppose.

Could more enquiries this week I think then I think I just want to get started! 

xx


----------



## mrszetti

hi everyone
so much good news just now on here and I have my own now as we were approved today for 2 0-4 years,  so happy I could burst can't wait to celebrate tonight, even though I know we still have a long way to go (hopefully not to long though). congratulations to all the new matches.
lorella can I now be added to mummy to be list please.

xx


----------



## Ozzycat

Congratulations Mrszetti, fab news.. hope ur little ones don't take long to find u x


----------



## Lorella

Many congrats Mrs Zetti! Really pleased for you. 

Have updated the front page xxx


----------



## Lorella

Hi everyone

I recently got back in touch with an old friend as she has a son same age as Loretta. This afternoon she invited me to her mummies group. There was 6 babies and 6 mummies. It was so lovely watching Loretta play with other children her age, as with adoption you do come in on the back foot so to speak. It was also lovely speaking to the other mums about general things to do with our LO's. 

My friend asked me if I would like to join their group! I am so pleased about this as it's the group I would of been in if Loretta was born to us. There are some really lovely people out there and I feel so lucky that I can experience motherhood with a bunch of mummies!

Thought I'd share that with you as it made me feel really happy today  

Xxx


----------



## Troodles

Thanks Mrsc75 there were a few tears!! Lol
Good luck with your journey. We had to wait due to last IVF, however the IVF was October 2013, we went to an info evening Jan 2014 and were told we had to wait until April. Posted ROI off on 1st April and getting our boys in March. So not too bad really.


Mrszetti that's fabulous news. Well done!! Fingers crossed for a match soon. 


Awww Lorella that's lovely. Really made me smile. So pleased for you. 


We got our ratification today and I just burst into tears. In work I might add!!     
Soooo 4 more sleeps till we meet our boys. OMG!!!!!


Hope you're all well. Big hugs xxxx


----------



## StarryEyed

Hi ladies,

Just thought I'd do a quick stop by and say i haven't forgotten all of, just had a bit of a break from adoption related stuff so I don't get overly stressed about it. Haven't had a chance to read all the messages since i was last here, but it looks like you have all be really busy. I haven't given up yet but still no news.

Hope you are all well

Starry x


----------



## Kylie47

Hi ladies

Troodles - sounds like an incredibly exciting time, congratulations! 

Starry - it sounds like you've had a really tough time of it. I hope you're doing ok.

Lorella - I love reading your posts! It's so lovely you've been asked to join a group of mums, bet it's brilliant to finally 'belong'!

We've just had our first stage 1 group training session which was a couple of hours - got 2 full days of it next week. It was really good to meet other prospective adopters and the session was really well run so we're raring to go for the sessions next week!  Definitely feels a lot more real now. 

Hope everyone is having a good week   xxx


----------



## pyjamas

You must be excited now troodles! Best of luck, I'm sure you will be great! Our planning meeting is on 9th and MP on 17th. sometimes time seems to go so slow!


----------



## Loki Girl

Troodles - just wanted to say have the most amazing day tomorrow when you finally meet your boys. All your hopes and dreams start tomorrow. Enjoy and hope the time goes quickly before they are finally home with you  

Pyjamas - all that waiting you have already done this should be a breeze   I know it's not lol but it will soon be here and your little girl will be a step closer to coming home

Kylie - glad you are enjoying training. We did too. It was very enlightening and really made us think and like you say it's nice to meet other couples. We only had 2 other couples on our courses but unfortunately they don't seem to want to keep in touch which is a shame but I have initiated lots of emails which they respond too but they don't seem to want to meet up or anything so have stopped bothering.  

Starry - good to see you, it's good to take a break but au know when you are ready you will be raring to go again. Hang in there, you will win in the end  

Lorella - sounds like you are loving family life. Bet it all seems so normal now. I know from being a nanny how clicky some groups can be but sounds like you have found a lovely one. 

Mrszetti - congratulations!!! Welcome to the world of waiting  

Freedo and Tractor girl hope the wait is not going too slowly and you are getting all prepared for your little ones to come home 

Hi to everyone else I've missed


----------



## notgivingup

Good luck Troodles! Can't wait to hear all about it.

Kylie - enjoy prep groups. I really enjoyed ours. We learnt loads and it made it all feel very real!

Mrszetti congrats! The search begins! 

Lorella - glad you are settling into being a mummy and finding new friends to share special times, harder times and giggles with! 

Pyjamas - I feel your pain in the waiting game when our lo are so close yet so far! I am counting down the days.  In 8 weeks we should be bringing our Los home. There's so much to do yet it feels an eternity away! 

Loki - you are so supportive of everyone else wherever they are in the process - really hope your lo is found soon! 

Hi to everyone! Xx


----------



## Freedo

Good luck Troodles!!! Xxx


----------



## Troodles

Thank you ladies. 

Mixed feelings excited and terrified and everything in between!!  Am wide awake listening to DH snore his head off. Funny how they always manage to sleep!! Lol

Oh AF has decided to join me for her final kick in the teeth. Stupid bi**h!!!

Still can't believe this is happening!!

Love to you all xxx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Mine just has too t!  Can't sleep.... And feel pants!
But you have such a special day to look forward too and so deserved.
I hope it is all you have wished for and more without putting too much pressure on yourself.
Those little boys meet the best mummy ever today, so pleased for you lovely xx


----------



## Troodles

Thanks hunny. That brought a little tear to my eye!! Xxx


----------



## Lorella

Good luck today Troodles xxx


----------



## Ozzycat

Good luck troodles.. can't wait to read ur next update xx
Enjoy ur special day x


----------



## mrszetti

hi everyone
thank you for your lovely messages.  Don't think it has actually sunk in yet.  can't believe I am going to be a mummy  some time soon ( hopefully ). 
good luck today troodles on ur very special day.  xx


----------



## Cbelle1

Good luck today troodles... So excited for you! 

Chelle
Xx


----------



## kimmieb

Good luck Troodles! Hope it is a great day xx


----------



## becs40

Have a great day Troodles and make lots of special memories! 
Oh and re dh snoring it doesn't change when they come home either! I was up with wee man from 2-5 then again at 6 and all we could hear was daddy snoring! 😊
Hope you have an absolutely amazing day. 😄


----------



## Tw1nk82

Good luck Troodles xxx


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Good luck Troodles x


----------



## pyjamas

Looking forward to Planning Meeting on Monday afternoon. Always feels good to actually be doing something! Then its only 8 days till MP! Starting to feel a bit nervous about intros. FC seems very nice but it will be hard trying to get to grips with everything with an expert looking over your shoulder while you make loads of mistakes! x


----------



## pringle

Good luck Troodles xx


----------



## becs40

Pyjamas we felt exactly the same. Especially as my hands on baby experience was with nephews who are now 9 and 12! Sw had also told fc that we had NO child care experience! Our fc was absolutely lovely and actually said for us to get stuck straight in on day one so although we were following her lead on routine she got us to do everything. That was really good actually as didn't have time to dwell on it but just got on with it.  I'm sure fc will soon put you at ease but it is scary! So excited for you, getting closer after all your waiting!


----------



## Troodles

Thank you ladies. 

Wow what a day. Am laying in bed going over it all in my mind and guess what DH is doing Becs lol. Think he'll be just like yours once they're home. Can't wait for him to be a bit hungover so ican hand them over and run out the door!!!!! PMSL. 

Today was amazing. I was no nervous pyjamas but it wasn't as bad as I thought. We were there from 9:30 right through till 5. Schedule for next 10 days is pretty full on. Thought it would be a couple of hours in the morning then a couple another day etc but no more or less all day every day. 

Thy called us mummy and daddy from the start which was lovely but surreal. We had lots of laughter, cuddles and kisses. 

Back again tomorrow and can't wait!!!

Love to you all xxx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Im glad everything went well troodles so lovely to hear xx


----------



## Primmer

Glad to hear it all went well Troodles!


----------



## notgivingup

Excellent Troodles! Good luck for the rest of intros! Keep us updated when you get chance x


----------



## Footsteps

Hello all,

Me and DH are at stage 2 just waiting for our PAR to be completed and finalised over the coming weeks before we go to panel end of April 👍 never known a process (that is suppose to be much easier/shorter) to have so many delays?! But fx no more delays now and panel will be here before we know it 😄 

Footsteps x


----------



## Singing lass

Hi ladies,

Have been reading this thread with interest for ages - such a supportive bunch you are 😃 I'd love to join you if I may - lorella would you add me to the front page please?

We have matching panel for 15m blue on Tuesday - thought we'd been quite good at getting on with normal life but the last couple of weeks and now days it seems like time has slowed down! Bought our cuddly and photo book yesterday as we'll only have a few days to prepare them given all goes well but not allowed to pass on until after legal hearing the following week...

Fingers crossed for everyone out there - each stage has it's ups and downs but the one you're in is the most challenging!
😃🐣


----------



## pyjamas

Went clothes shopping for LO today which I loved! We have our Talking Photo Album and large photos of ourselves ready to hand over to FC at tomorrows Planning Meeting. Wonderful to hear that intros going well for Troodles!


----------



## becs40

So many new mummies coming up! Exciting times. I hope there's lotsmore soon. 😊


----------



## Lorella

Troodles - thanks Hun. Pleased intros going well 

Kylie - ah I'm glad 😊. It does feel nice being asked to be part of a group and brilliant for Loretta as I'm really keen for her to make some friends her own age 

Starry - really great to hear from you. Hope you are doing ok. 

Loki - I am loving being a mummy but the early starts are quite a change to lifestyle! First back tooth coming through........!

Not Giving Up - thanks Hun. I felt the same about Mothercare to start with. Was weird going in there to look at cots and chairs etc without a bump. Now I love going in there! 

Singing Lass - welcome to our lovely group. I have added you as a mummy to be but on Tuesday I will be bumping you up to mummy! Good luck!

Hi to all xxx


----------



## HippyChicky

Can I join all of you lovely ladies. Me and hubby have just been approved to begin stage 1. ROI forms completed and ready to post back tomorrow, 3 day training in 2 weeks time (was provisionally booked when we had our initial interview last month). I'm excited and scared at the same time.


----------



## marmalade999

Hi ladies

Just popping into say hi- Dh and I are half way through stage 1, already finding it a but of an emotional roller coaster with a change in sw to 2 new ones who seem to have little personality!! Hey ho! I was determined this adoption malarkey would not stress me...... 😂 lovely to see all  the happy endings and good luck to those on the journey xx


----------



## Freedo

Hi Ladies! Matching panel all done and dusted, planning meeting next week and meet her two weeks today!!!! Xxx


----------



## Ozzycat

Freedo thats amazing. . Bet ur counting down the days till u meet ur little lady.. how old is she?
So pleased for u x
Welcome neebies xxx


----------



## Freedo

Thanks ozzycat, she is 7 months!! Xx


----------



## Norma12

Congrats freedo xx

How did everyone find the 3 days prep training? I'm left feeling tired & mixed emotions that I havent really had space to process yet. Alot of ehat we were told wasnt anything I wasnt expecting just feeling slightly unsettled..........


----------



## Lorella

Freedo - whoop whoop! Congrats Hun. Have updated front page xxx


----------



## Freedo

Thanks Lorella!! Xx


----------



## Lorella

Says on Good Morning Britain this morning that number of children in care at its highest for 30 years. Will be interested to see if they do an article about this later in the programme. 
Xxx


----------



## Primmer

Freedo - congrats on matching panel! That's great news x

We heard from blues sw yesterday with a written update from the foster carer which was really nice to read. They will work in putting together a dvd of blue next week which I can't wait to see! They are also putting together some more medical reports and assessments for us. Was just good to hear from them as after 2 weeks of hearing nothing I started to worry they had changed their mind about the link xx


----------



## marmalade999

Morning all

Congrats to freedo what lovely news.
norma- I felt the same after prep. I work with young people etc and have done a lot of work with social workers but was really disappointed about the content of prep and the attitude of some of them. They were showing videos that were over 30 years old and I felt really  patronised! I was glad when it was over!!
How are you getting on with stage 1?
morning to everyone else xx


----------



## Norma12

Marmalade- we've got to start work on our homestudy book now in prep for stage 2 & book our medicals. The sw have started doing the dbs & referee stuff. Guess the next step is seeing if we pass stage one. I think its best to take each step as it comes otherwise its too much to get ur head around. I'm already thinking about how waiting, matching & intros will feel but we havent done homestudy yet!!!😳 but the prep course was a few steps ahead of where we are now.

Hows it going with you?


----------



## pyjamas

Planning Meeting yesterday went well. It was good to see FC again to hear how LO is getting on. Next step is MP on 17th March. It seems that some have planning meeting before MP and some after. It did seem slightly strange to be arranging intros before being officially matched but all at meeting seemed to think MP is just a formality.


----------



## rosex86

Approval panel tomorrow, absolutely cacking myself!!! xx


----------



## HippyChicky

Good luck Rose xx


----------



## Lorella

Good luck Rose. You will be great! Xxx


----------



## marmalade999

Totally know what you mean norma- i'be been thinking about matching too-really need to chill a bit and take one bit at a time! 😉 we've had a change in sw which i'm not very happy about as the sw we have has little charisma/personality and just reads questions from her list.  There is absolutely nothing natural about it. I really can't imagine having a good relationship with her like people on here have with their sw. 

Good luck rose for panel tmz 👍
exciting times for those being matched 😊

Did anyone see the article in the daily mail today about adoption?  really bugs me the bad publicity adoption gets. 
Hi to everyone xx


----------



## Ozzycat

Good luck Rose.. it will be a unanimous yes x


----------



## Forgetmenot

Good luck rose xx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Good luck rose x


----------



## pringle

Good luck Rose  . I've got my panel in 2 weeks eek. 

Pringles xx


----------



## Singing lass

Good luck Rose - will have fingers crossed for you tomorrow, not that you'll need it 

Congrats Freedo - how exciting!!!

We had matching panel today and all went well - very easy and informal compared to the advice and approval panels!  The format wasn't at all as we expected - we didn't even go out of the room for them to deliberate and give a decision - after a few questions the chairperson just said 'right, we'd better make it official for the minutes, who's going to make the proposal', they all agreed and then congratulated us. In and out in under 20 minutes!

Still have legal hearing next week but given that if all goes to plan intros will start in two weeks.  

My brain feels like it's going to explode!



Xx


----------



## Lorella

Congrats Singing Lass! Xxx


----------



## becs40

Congrats Freedo and singing lass!
Good luck today Rose you'll be fine.

Not much going on for us at the mo, battling yet another cough and cold! Wee man had seriously only got rid of his cough from xmas about 2 weeks ago and now has another one accompanied by streaming nose bless him. He tries to sleep but every time he's just about off he's coughs or sneezes bless him. He's also making valiant efforts to crawl as well at the moment and doing his own kind of breakdancing snake version! DH is taking his paternity leave in a couple of weeks so looking forward to that, he had 3 weeks off when little man was placed but that was leave as we were fostering then so couldn't take paternity. As it was over xmas it was easy anyway and he would have been off most of that time anyway so it's worked out well.


----------



## Primmer

Congrats Singinglass

Good luck for today Rose


----------



## Loki Girl

OMG ladies - apologies in advance for a me post but SW was just here with a profile!!!!! We have discussed and are for now going ahead. I just can't believe it and haven't stopped crying all morning!!!

I can't even begin to imagine we are going to be soooo lucky. It's a 15mth old little pink and potentially her baby brother!!!! He's only 3mths but won't have his final hearing until end of April so we will know then whether we can have him. 2 options of having little pink move in 1st as they would like her moved before the FC go on holiday in June or move her in with blue's FC and then move them together but obviously don't want too many moves for little girl. 

We have her pic and I am totally in love already!!! It had better all go ahead lol!!! 

I had started making lists of things we would need for toddlers and older ones never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would have to make a list for a baby!!!!!

Sorry no personals but Rose hope you got on ok today. 

A very happy bursting with excitement  Loki Girl today!!!!


----------



## Ozzycat

Oh Loki I want to cry for you. . Thats truly amazing news.. Please gd it all moves smoothly forward for u.. what wonderful news xxxxx


----------



## becs40

Ok Loki that's amazing! So completely and utterly thrilled for you! It also just goes to show that even though things looked so bleak for you a few months ago you just never know what will happen and when.
So so happy for you! 😀


----------



## Forgetmenot

Loki x Amazeballs x truly magical news xx


----------



## Cbelle1

Loki , this has literally brought tears to my eyes! I'm so pleased for you! 

Chelle
Xx


----------



## Lorella

Oh Lokis Girl!!! I am absolutely over the moon for you!! Xxx


----------



## Primmer

Loki - that's amazing news!! Really hope everything works out well for you xx


----------



## liveinhope

Great news Loki


----------



## mrszetti

aw loki amazing news fingers are crossed for u xx


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## Loki Girl

Ladies thank so much for all your wishes. It has been an incredible emotional day but in a good way!!! Lots of tears to begin with telling our mothers tho also trying to tell ourselves not to get too ahead of ourselves incase matching panel doesn't go well!!! But now can't stop smiling and looking at her pic!!!

Things moving quickly. SW coming tomorrow with her full CPR then if we are happy with that we meet her SW on 18th March. Will prob meet with medical advisor as there are a couple of health needs but nothing we are too concerned about just want a bit more info. 

Can't believe how our lives are going to change, although don't think I will actually start to believe it till they are finally here!!!


----------



## Forgetmenot

Awesome.... Was your mums in pieces?!

It's good that it's happening quickly and Lo is ready to go.... Fingers crossed she is the one and has the most amazing mummy and daddy waiting.

💜💜💜 IT xx


----------



## rosex86

we got a YES!!!!

went so much better than we thought I was a wreck! but we were only in there for 10/15mins phew!!!

xxx


----------



## becs40

Yay congrats Rose!


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## Tw1nk82

Congratulations Rose xx

Loki that it fab news. so happy for you xxxx

We have seen a CPR today and have asked to be considered. There is other families also being considered so we just have ro hope that it could be us xxxx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Great news twink x hope this is the lo for you xx


----------



## Lorella

What a good news day! 
Loki - I remember looking at Lorettas picture over and over again. Such a lovely time. Enjoy the excitement. You deserve it!

Rose - yay!! Have updated front page 
Paulapumpkin - you're up next hun

Twink - good luck with your potential link 

Xxx


----------



## Laws1612

hi all.....I read every day but normally too tired to even string a sentence together lol.  

I just felt I needed to comment on what a lovely day for good news and what a postive vibe the adoption boards have got....been a long time coming and im so pleased. 

cant wait to hear more!!! 

afm - the boys plus mummy have had d&v and are super suffering!! hoping for a better few days now and a good weekend for mummys day!! xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Tw1ink fab news - we are at same stage lol. I am still floating on cloud 9 lol. Here's praying our little ones won't be too long before they are moving in. Won't make Mothers Day but maybe just maybe I will finally get a mummy card for my birthday in July lol

Laws hope you are all feeling better soon. Hope your boys spoil you on Mothers Day lol. U deserve it!!!


----------



## pringle

Congratulations to all the ladies who have had good news today  .

Pringles xx


----------



## Ozzycat

Loving all this wonderful news.. Please gd may it continue xxx


----------



## Troodles

Hi all

Have just had a quick read. Wowsers so much good new. I'm smiling from ear to ear!!! So so happy to read it all. 

I'm a bit like Laws at the mo, just so tired. Things going well though. Our blues came to their new home for a couple of hours this afternoon and seemed to like it. Here all day tomorrow and moving in on Tuesday!!  

Hope you're all feeling better Laws. 

Sorry for no personals but cream crackered!! Lol

Love to all xxx


----------



## Lorella

Hi all

Just thought I would give you little update. We have had our initial court hearing - all fine. No appeals which was a relief. We have our date for final court hearing when hopefully adoption order should be made....next month! Eek!

I have also just written my first contact letter. It was fine actually. Found myself writing more than I thought I would. We have agreed to do 2 letters a year. 

Loretta is continuing to amaze us every day. She is such a happy little girl. She's meeting all of her milestones, even surpassing some of them. She is well attached to us both and an absolute joy. She charms everyone she meets. 

Good luck to you all wherever you are on your journey. It's so worth it xxx


----------



## becs40

Ah so lovely to hear Lorella! I thought if there weren't any appeals then it's issued at the initial hearing? Our application has gone in but we're expecting it to be contested so we know it will be the 2 hearings. We will be doing 2 letters a year as well.

We're all full of cold and cough here and am so tired, really looking forward to the weekend when daddy is on hand! Poor little man yesterday his eyes and nose were like a tap all day it was awful, thankfully seems to be better today but coughing well! He's just starting to crawl now and looks like he's doing the breakdancing snake St the moment but it's effective at getting him into places he's never been before!  

Troodles I hope you have a great day today and roll on Tuesday when normal life begins for you! Intros are exhausting - as is parenting but a different kind of exhaustion!


----------



## Cbelle1

Ladies...can I ask a question please?
I emailed sw on Monday to say we've had our dbs back and hopefully you've had all refs, medicals, dbs and everything you need back. She hasn't replied, I know she's probably busy and we are only stage 1 and not a priority but should I chase her or just leave it?

Chelle
Xx


----------



## Primmer

Chell - I would leave it a week before sending a gentle chase email.


----------



## notgivingup

Wow, congrats twink & Loki! That sounds amazing! Fingers crossed it works out for you! 

Congrats rose! A huge milestone! 

Chelle, I would also wait a couple more days till next week.  I know we had to wait for responses in the early days cause our social worker wasn't in the office everyday so couldnt respond immediately even though it's frustrating waiting at home.  I think a lot of social workers are also using up leave at the moment with the end of financial year coming up.  Hopefully things will pick up speed in stage 2 for you. 

Troodles, hope all is going well! 

Have a good weekend everyone x


----------



## Lorella

Becs - as I know it there are always 2 court hearings. I have heard that they can grant the adoption order on the first one but it's not the norm. I might be wrong though. Sorry you are all poorly again. That's lovely LO is crawling. Such a special time when they meet these milestones with us. Loretta is walking now and we've just taught her to spin. So cute!

Chellebelle - yes I'd hold off for now 😊

Can't believe it but DH and I are actually going OUT tonight. Just for a pizza and a few Peronis but a very rare occurance these days!

Have a great weekend everyone, especially those celebrating their first Mothers Day. Hugs to those waiting for links. Everything crossed it will be you next year xxx


----------



## Ruthie82

I am so pleased to hear all the brilliant news on here!

Love to all wherever you are in your journey

x x


----------



## becs40

Ah Lorella how lovely, the walking and spinning! Little man is just starting to wave but still not fully getting it! He also has now had conjunctivitis with his cold   so I feel like the worst mummy ever at having to traumatise him to get the ointment in his eyes 4 times a day! 

The postman delivered a card today to "Mrs mummy ...." Not to be opened until Sunday! Dh has been nominated for some business award which will mean an overnight stay away in June so it will just be little man and I! I then got an enail from John Lewis inviting me to a exclusive shopping evening by invite only (haven't spent that much on baby clothes lol!) so am going with my mum for the evening in April. She joked and said where are we going after and a night in a hotel with 10 hours uninterrupted sleep in crisp white sheets and squishy pillows sounds heaven! In truth I'd hate not being able to kiss little man goodnight and miss his little noises as he goes from one sleep cycle to another and definitely miss watching him on the camera in the morning lying in his cot playing with his teddies!


----------



## StarryEyed

What lovely news everyone. Congrats Loki and Tw1nk and I hope all goes well for you Lorella with Loretta. Also congrats to rose. It's really nice to see some good news around this place.

AFM - After a long journey I've decided that I have come to the end of the road here and it's time to try something new which I am really happy about. This just wasn't to be for me. My agency have lost another manager and its caused me to reassess. However, things are looking bright and someday I'll be a mummy, just not through my current LA.

Good luck with your continuing journeys ladies and thanks for al your support.

Starry


----------



## becs40

Oh starry I am really sorry to hear that. I'm glad that you are happy about your imminent future. I really sincerely hope you pick up your dream again at some point as I truly believe you have so much to offer and will make an amazing mummy. Good luck for whatever your next step is.


----------



## Loki Girl

Starry sorry to read your post. You have given it such a great go but that agency just seems against you. I really hope after some time out that you will find the right way for you to be a Mummy and I have no doubt you will. Best of luck hun  

Becs and Lorella love hearing your updates about the milestones your little ones are achieving. Must be amazing!!! Becs I'm sure your little man with survive, enjoy and treat yourself to a lovely night  

Well we have had an emotional few days. Just didn't realise how much there was going to be to take in and to think about. I haven't slept for 2 nights cus so much going round in my head lol!!! We chatted after the SW bought us the profile of our little pink on Wed and then emailed her to let her know we were interested enough to take it further. She then arranged to come the next day (Thurs) to bring lo's full CPR. Wow I didn't realise that was going to be so emotional reading all about her history. Such a lot going on in such a short amount of time   I just hadn't realised we would have soooo much info!! We still have things to digest and to think about but am beginning to think she's the right little girl for our family (and hopefully baby brother!!!) We are now meeting lo's social worker next week. Not sure if baby brother has same social worker but they are not in same foster home. If everything goes to plan I think they are thinking we would get little pink first then little blue to follow a couple of months later. Going to be really weird!!! They ideally want little pink placed by June and little blue by Aug. It's just a pain cus they told us to book holiday which we did for beginning May now they say cus matching panels are held once a month at beginning of month so we would miss May one so June would be tight. But then they did say they might be able to put an extra one on so will have to wait and see. We know that our LA choose the best match and that profile is not shown to anyone else but it's still hard to imagine this could be the start!! There was concerns about where my parents live as we are not to go anywhere near the area our lo's are from and my parents live quite close but don't go there which we explained. Thing is ours is not a huge borough so there is not going to be a huge amount of distance!! There was a lot of dispute about the children being removed so I think they don't want them to be seen at all. They have advised they won't let us meet the birth parents but we have got pics of them for lo to see later. It's kind of scary!!

Anyways fingers crossed we don't get into a situation like you had with your lo Becs. Little blue was removed from birth in Dec but has a different father to little pink so they said they just don't know if a member of his family will show up and contest. It's so hard not knowing anything about him!!!

Went out with DH last night for dinner and we had a good chat about it all and we are both happy to go ahead so hopefully everything will go well and we will have them home for summer. 

Hope you all having a good weekend and loads of love to our 1st time Mothers Day Mummies tomorrow


----------



## Forgetmenot

Wow Loki that's amazing.... All happening so quickly!!
It's hard to switch off with so much to think about and work through.
Great that you and dH are on the same page xx

I second loki's sentiment.... Happy first Mother's Day all you lovelies x enjoy x


----------



## Lorella

Loki - felt really emotional reading your update. Am so pleased for you. Loretta was in a similar position to your little blue. Keeping everything crossed for you. Sounds really positive and meant to be xxx


----------



## becs40

Ah Loki little man was very similar in distance issues and highly contested removal etc. there are parts of the town that we used to go to that we just don't now and if we are in town I'm very careful, he's in a forward facing buggy anyway but I sit him right up in it and pull the hood down so you can't see him until I know we're in a safe place. Fortunately as he's so young it will get easier as he gets older. All sounds really promising though Loki, how exciting!


----------



## Primmer

Happy Mothers Day to all you mummies out there and lets hope that this time next year we will all be mummies xx


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Yikes - panel date has arrived!!!

I'm so nervous, my DH has popped into work to keep himself busy. 

Sorry for lack of personals, I've been reading all the fabulous news. I will catch up when I've caught my breath and I can hopefully share some good news.

I've booked us into a nice hotel for the night so we can take stock and celebrate!

We should be out of panel meeting by 12.30, fingers crossed.

X


----------



## Tw1nk82

Good luck paula but you wont need it you will be fine xxxx


----------



## becs40

Good luck Paula, sure it will be absolutely fine! 😊


----------



## Loki Girl

Good luck Paula. Easy for us to say you will be fine cus I was soooo nervous but ours was a breeze just 2 questions and yes you are approved!!

Can't wait to hear your news xxx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Good luck paula xx


----------



## Primmer

Good luck today Paula


----------



## Laws1612

long time coming paula!!! good luck cant wait to hear!! have a fan night tonight xxx


----------



## Lorella

Good luck Paula. You will be great! Xxx


----------



## pyjamas

Matching Panel tomorrow at 2.30pm. Not going to be able to sleep tonight! x


----------



## becs40

Ah pyjamas it's been a long time coming but the beginning us finally in sight for you! It'll be a breeze tomorrow you'll see. 😉


----------



## Ozzycat

Good luck Paula and pyjamas. . Looking forward to reading your great news when ur both approved x


----------



## Tw1nk82

Good luck Tomorrow pyjamas xxx


----------



## Primmer

Pyjamas - good luck for tomorrow.


----------



## Lorella

Good luck pyjamas x


----------



## Forgetmenot

Good luck pj xx


----------



## Loki Girl

Aww Pyjamas what a fab day you are going to have tomorrow after all the waiting. I'm sure you will be fine. Will be looking forward to your update. 

Paula hope everything went well and you are enjoying the celebrations


----------



## Paulapumpkin

It was unanimous YES !!!!

We've cried and laughed today, can't bloody believe it.

The panel were lovely, they were running late so we didn't get out until 1.30pm. Our family & friends are thrilled. Thank you all for your amazing support.

We are a bit tipsy in a lovely hotel, my sister and parents turned up earlier with balloons, flowers and pressies and my sister gave me my first ever Mother's Day card (we both burst out crying).

I guess we need time for it to sink in now , our SW said she will contact us soon to do a post approval visit.

Good luck PJ for tomorrow btw.

I will catch up with more personals tomorrow.

I think I will sleep tonight. Lol

Xxxx


----------



## Troodles

Hi all

Sorry not been on much. Been a tad busy!!

Loki, so excited for you. Fingers crossed all goes smoothly. 

Congrats Paula. Fab news and good luck tomorrow PJs. Knockem dead!!

Hope all the new mummies had a lovely day yesterday. I had my 2 pickles all day and them and daddy really spoilt me. I never thought I'd have a Mother's Day for me. So emotional. Had the day to ourselves today and then tomorrow is moving home day!!!! So many feelings going on. Really feel for FC, think she's gonna struggle bless her. We bought her a card and pressie from the boys today. Can't imagine how she's feeling, she's had them a year. Going to be an emotional day.  Hope the boys settle in their new cots. Baby pickle has had naps but big pickle hasn't yet. Gonna be a long night!!

Will update when I can. 

Love to you all xxx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Congratulations paula xxx

Im glad everything is going good with the boys troodles xxxx


----------



## Cbelle1

Good luck today pyjamas!!!  

Amazing stuff troodles , hope today goes well

All this positivity is so great and lovely to hear!

Chelle 
Xx


----------



## Loki Girl

Yay Paula       It's the most amazing feeling isn't it? Congratulations. Who'd of thought from our old days at RG this is where we would get our little ones. That is so cute about the present and Mother's Day cards. My mum got me a plant and a Mum to Be card lol. Next year hopefully we will be celebrating and being spoilt for real!!!

Troodles Awww such lovely news. Have an amazing day. I'm sure your little guys will settle in just fine. Must be hard for the FC. If our lo goes ahead she will be about 18mths when she moves in and she had been with the FC since 4mths. 
Good luck today Pyjamas. 

Well we meet lo social worker tomorrow so will be able to get some more up to date info on her. Can't wait!!!!

Well off for another rainy day on the farm lol. Can't even imagine I may not be doing the summer season there!!!!! Well I will but as a visitor hahaha - hopefully!!!!

Take care everyone else xxxx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Ditto that Loki... Funny three of us RG peeps are here!!

And finally, beyond hope... Might actually just be getting somewhere.

Exciting to be meeting the fc tomorrow.  Your lo's sound like they are just perfect for you.... I will keep everything crossed.  

Love the fact you guys got cards and excited parents!  We have done ourselves out of that... Which is hard, but dealing with everyone's expectstins is too great!!  

Congrats troodles. Enjoy this special day on the next steps of your journey, family madness... Love it! Can't wait to hear all the stories x

AFM still off work.. So going to get fired lol xx


----------



## Lorella

Yay! Great news Paula. Have updated front page. 

Pringle - your up next! Good luck Hun x

Troodles and Loki Girl - lovely to hear your news. You sound very happy. 

Starry - good luck on your next path Hun. Stay strong x

Forgetmenot - hope you get your voice back soon and work are ok with you being ill. Sure they will be. 

xxx


----------



## pyjamas

We are now matched to our little girl. MP was this afternoon and as everyone else says it was not as bad as I expected! No difficult questions. I was really dreading it and cried when they gave us their decision! x


----------



## mrszetti

amazing news pyjamas and Paula,  congratulations xx


----------



## alig1972

Hi 

We are in limbo again. Had our last meeting with SW in stage 1 and she is now writing her report for the agency but left last night saying that she is not going to recommend us for stage 2. We were going over the same old issues from the LA and she came into it pre-judging us. We were never allowed to talk about the positive things that would make us good parents, just the negatives which we have addressed and the agency knew about before taking us on. Anyway phoned the agency and we have to wait for the report to be written then we can add our comments. Feeling overwhelmed and completely drained by it all, what is wrong with us...? 

Any advice, Ali x


----------



## pringle

Congratulations Paula    

Troodles glad intros have gone well & hope all went well today  

Lorella my panel date has now been moved to the 25th. Thank you for the good luck wishes.

Pringles xx


----------



## Singing lass

We had confirmation today that we start intros next Tuesday!!!  Despite being matched last week there was a legal issue so we couldn't get too excited in case there were delays but nothing stopping us now!

Soooo much to do/buy and won't have much time during intros as we have a 3-4 hr round trip.  

Congrats Paula- exciting stuff!

I'm sorry I can't offer advice on stage1/2 - we had an advice hearing mid process  due to some issues which was the same folk as panel but I know the system is different up here.  Fingers crossed for you.

Intros here we come!!!!


----------



## Barbados Girl

PJs- beyond over the moon for you! When are intros? X


----------



## becs40

Congrats pyjamas, now just the wait to intros! 😊

Congrats singing lass good luck with the shopping madness.

Alig1972 I'm not sure what to advise really, I would hold tight until the report and decision is made. You may be worrying unnecessarily, particularly if they took you on with certain issues that have now been addressed. At the end of the day it won't be your social workers decision just her recommendation.


----------



## Lorella

Whoo hoo! Well done PJs and Singing Lass. Our mummy list is really growing!

AliG - sorry to hear that and sending hugs. I remember reading some of your older posts so know how upsetting this must be for you. I really hope that this doesn't mean you can't proceed. Sorry I don't have any advices except try and stay positive. Will keep everything crossed she's made a mistake. 

Xxx


----------



## Freedo

Hi Ladies, such good feeling here lately ! 

I am officially on adoption leave and start intros Monday!! Xxxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Yay fab news PJ and Singinglass. It's all soooooo exciting!!!! That mummy list is looking fab!!!!!

Alig so sorry to read your post. Like the others don't really know what to advise as don't know the issues but didn't want to not respond. You can surely be allowed to argue your point so maybe try and arrange an appointment with the manager? Like Becs said its just your SW opinion and you should be allowed to have your say. Really hope you can sort it


----------



## Loki Girl

Aww fab news Freedo - enjoy your last few days and have an amazing time meeting your little one xx


----------



## Lorella

Freedo - so wonderful for you! Xxx


----------



## Ozzycat

Wow such amazing updates x
Massive congrats Paula and pyjamas x
Singing lass enjoy all that shopping u must be so excited x
Freedo enjoy the quite days b4 the madness starts on Monday. .
Sooooo excited for everyone x

Afm currently working nights and the only thing keeping me going is the hope that maternity leave will hopefully be in the not to distant future   panel in 3.5 weeks eeeeekkkkk
Only 1 more sw visit I can't believe how easy stage 2 has been! !!
Keep the good news updates coming there so lovely to read xxxxxxx


----------



## pyjamas

My last day at work is slowly approaching- March 30th, we then have a two night break in London 31st March and 1st April. intros begin Easter Monday 6th April with the plan for LO to move in from 12th April. All the positive news on here lately is great to read!


----------



## Laws1612

so good to hear that everyone is having good news its so lovely...this Christmas really will be amazing!!

freedo congrats enjoy your week off!!!

loki girl cant eait to hear the update for you!

pj - bet you are counting down the days already X

ozzycat not long now. you will be next!!

troddles hope your first night was ok 

afm - were 6 weeks in and cant quite believe it. its a struggle but im beginning to love it more and more. oldest speech is getting better everyday and have decided to potty train slowly but doing well. 
little blue has started walking and babbling mama and dada which is lovely. 

xxx


----------



## StarryEyed

Great to see even more positive news. I'm sorry AliG, I hope everything becomes clear soon.

AFM - well it seems that just as I was about to give up, someone decided to start kicking people into touch again. My SW came back off her lovely six week holiday (of which she informed me that she got lots of vitamin D whilst the rest of us are here with colds and flu and waiting aimlessly for her return) and decided to actually contact me. I say contact in that she emailed requesting me to call her. After a short conversation in which I basically ranted about how unhappy I was, she has agreed to arrange a meeting with the service manager and herself and to forward my last email that was never replied to. Hopefully the meeting will happen at some point this year... Maybe all hope is not lost!


----------



## Loki Girl

Wow starry. U never know they might just get you some sensible answers!!! Fingers crossed you get something positive happening  

Well had a good meeting with LO's Social worker. I can't believe this is actually happening!!! Plan is now that the matching meeting is being held on 2nd April. They have also agreed to put on an extra matching panel as we will miss the actual May one cus we are on holiday. So we will still be going to matching panel in May. They have also agreed to include baby blue on all the paperwork so even tho his final hearing not till end April all the paperwork will be done to include him. This is being contested but our SW said everything is for him being adopted and usually if the child's court appointed guardian decides best plan of action is adoption which she does then the courts usually agree so fingers crossed that will be the case. So best case scenario is our little princess will come home in June with our little boy following about 6 weeks later  

I'm having a hard time believing this is actually now all starting to turn into reality!!!! Please let our lo's be home with us soon


----------



## Forgetmenot

Omg I am jumping up and down for you Loki... Truly fantastic news lovely xx


----------



## Loki Girl

Thank you so much forgetmenot   Trying to be hopeful but equally waiting for something to go wrong!!!

Really hope you find your lo's soon. You sooooo deserve it


----------



## pringle

Lorella could you please change my panel date to 25th March. 7sleeps to go  

Think I am before ozzycat laws1612

Pringle


----------



## pringle

Congratulations Loki on the good news.

Pringles x


----------



## Lorella

Pringle - already done  😊

Starry - sounds positive. Fingers crossed. You deserve some good news. 

Loki girl - so made up for you!

AFM - motherhood is great. Current issues are food automatically being spat out at meal times (cheeky monkey) and I think I saw the beginnings of a tantrum the other day! All normal stuff though. Along with that am listening to her learn to talk and bounce in her cot with a cheeky grin. Just gorgeous. 

Xxx


----------



## Ozzycat

Loki im so happy for you I want to cry.. amazing. . Mummy and daddy to 2 little ones, its what dreams are made off x

Starry I really hope they start treating u better  and finally make u a mummy, u more than deserve it x

Oooohhh pringle ur up 2 weeks b4 me ;-)

Ive just been to a really good talk at our adoption hq.. an hr from the medical advisor which was brilliant and then an hr from a new adopter who brought her daughter home 7months ago when she was 7 months old... it was one of the best talks ive been too and the new mum had us all in tears, she loves her lo soooo much, it was such a positive talk.
Now at work. . Last night whoooooo

Lots of love xxx


----------



## becs40

Ooh Starry I really hope thus moves forward for you, I can not believe your patience!

Loki such fabulous news! How old will lo's be when placed? Sounds like you're going to be going straight in and hit the ground running!

Ozzy our adopter talk was really good as well, to be honest it was probably the only "*****" of positivity in the whole of prep days! Our LA has asked if I will go onto their list of adopters to speak which is scary as sure I won't be half as good!

Afm well illness is still rife here! I am thick with cough and cold as is little man although his conjunctivitis has gone thank god! We're back to big wakings during the night probably because of illness so last few nights we've been up from 1-3.30ish or later. Was completely exhausted the other morning so dh took little man into work for a couple of hours which they all loved and meant I could get a couple of hours of much needed sleep. Serious brownie points for him. Just trying to get through the week as then dh is on 2 weeks paternity leave so a bit of a break. Still loving it though and even sleep deprived at 3.30 in the morning sitting there rocking him in my arms is magical.


----------



## Loki Girl

Thanks for all your lovely wishes ladies. I know I will be sending many more back this year as we all finally realise our dreams. 

Lorella love your updates on lo. As long as she is doing all normal things think I would be happy too even the tantrums   

Becs that was lovely of your DH. It's not easy when you are all I'll and I know it has been going on awhile for you. Hope the well earned sleep helped even if just for a couple of hours lol and hope lo starts to feel better too and starts sleeping through. 

Well day off so I am going on a bit of a shop. Not major stuff but maybe a couple of toothbrushes etc. Trust me, I am going to get excited about buying a little ones toothbrush     

Becs if all goes to plan and LO moves in in June she will be 18mths. She's still not walking but they think it won't be long so will prob miss that but she is saying a few words and is engaging and sociable. I think again if all goes to plan (hate saying that!!!!) but they want little soldier placed by Aug so he will be 8mths. I nannied for a family and started with them when their little ones were the same age (except there was a 4yr old as well!!). It was bloomin hard work but worth it as they are both very close. They are 8 and 9 now and do everything together and they are a girl and boy too so really hope our lo's will be close too. Although when SW made a reference yesterday to she thinks birth mum will be very well known to agency in the future she'll prob be pregnant again before long I'm thinking we may get offered more in the future!!!!! Will just concentrate on these for now   

Ozzy glad you had a positive talk. Ours was lovely too and tou were right Becs they were so positive when we had heard a lot of negative throughout our prep days. 

Pringles - a week from today you will be a mummy to be - yay!!!!! Won't be long!!!


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Hi Ladies

Just trying to find some time to get on here and read all the latest news.  We are having our kitchen done so my house is like a building site at the mo (we own a kitchen business so it is nice to be finally getting mine).

PJ - Congrats my lovely!!1

Loki - It is really moving fast now, it's so exciting and I can't wait until you start intros. I was thinking of you when I was in John lewis in Touchwood the other day! LOL

Forgetmenot - I am so pleased the RG ladies are moving forward, we've all waited so long for our dreams to become a reality.

Troodles & Twink - How is it all going?

Singing Lass - Good luck with the Intros.

Mrs Zetti - Hope you get matched soon.

Lorella - Thanks for moving me on the list, how is your LO?

Laws - How are you hun?

Freedo - Good luck with intros!

Pringle & Ozzycat - not long now, it is an amazing feeling being approved.

Becs - Are you and little man feeling any better?

Starry - Hope you move forward soon hun. 

Sorry if I have missed anyone.

We are off visiting DH family this weekend to celebrate our good news...I still can't believe it!

Have a good weekend everyone.

xxxx


----------



## Lorella

Hey Paula - love you post. I can actually hear the excitement in it from you! 

We are great. Had the best day today. First we went to music class where it melted my heart watching Loretta bang on the drums with the wooden sticks while looking over at me and smiling. Then we went to toddler group , where she was so confident playing with all the toys but coming back to mummy when she needed to. Then, after going home for lunch and a 2 and a half hour nap, we went to our new mummies group that I have been invited to join for more play! Has been the best day ever watching Loretta so happy and playing with other children. THEN she ate all her tea in her bowl without throwing it on the floor! I can't wait for you to get your LO's and experience such magical times. Xxx


----------



## becs40

Ah Lorella sounds perfect! I still haven't been brave enough to try any other groups yet after our first experience other than the LA stay and play one. To be fair though with us both being ill it's not been a good time to go anyway. We have the stay and play again next week and hopefully try and get to a couple of the library classes assuming he's not asleep! 
I'm still feeling really rough and very tired. Little man slept for a couple of hours this afternoon so I did too and that helped.Dh has 2 weeks off paternity leave now so that will be good. He has  got some bits to do at father in laws house that we've renovated as its up for rental now so need to get it finished. We've been over there tonight shifting 110 rolls of turf that the nice delivery driver left on the road instead of the driveway, plonker! So mum babysat for an hour after he'd gone to bed so we could do that.
Little man has kept me on my toes today crawling into every nook and cranny and getting up to mischief in general. Looking into the babydan flexi system to section off the conservatory so he has a big safe space that I can leave him in if I need to do anything.


----------



## Lorella

I feel for you Becs. You seem to of been ill non stop and that's really not nice.  Tiredness is also a killer. My DH has picked up every little sniffle since Loretta been home but me , hardly anything. I'm lucky I've to thank being a reception teacher for last 3 years - got good immunity!

DH is brilliant too. He did the early shift today, then I got up to dress her and little play before putting her down for morning nap. Now currently relaxing in the bath! Love my Saturday morning baths!

Hi to all. Have a great weekend xxx


----------



## becs40

Snap Lorella! Dh does Saturday morning so that's my  lie in and relax morning - thankfully today having been up with little man from 2-5.30! So had a nice lie in then a bath and we've just had a chilled out day today at home.

He's been a little tinker with the poor dog now he's crawling and won't leave her alone, caught him this morning trying to put her foot in his mouth! She's so good with him but being a collie has nice long teddy bear hair that's grabbable but she keeps going back for more.  

Hope all you new mummies are having fun and avoiding the germs! Laws are you fully recovered from your illness yet?


----------



## Forgetmenot

Just wondered when off on statutory adoption pay - do you get free dental like on smp?

Was talking today and they asked... As facing a huge dental bill, not really looked into rights and benefits yet lol xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi Forgetmenot,

I don't believe it is unfortunately, if I remember correctly I think I looked into it when we went through the process and apparently as pregnancy can affect a woman's oral health this is the reason for the free dental care.
I may be wrong (and I hope I am), and it may well have changed since I checked, but I think that's the answer we came up with.

I hope your bill ends up being less than you expect 

Anj x


----------



## Forgetmenot

Lol x worth a try! That would actually make sense!!!

My bill is huge x very reluctant to do it.... But gonna have to  xx

Thanks for the info, was only over coffee a friend said about it 😁😁


----------



## pyjamas

Last early sunday morning at work. Looking forward to getting up early sunday mornings for LO!  Two weeks till intros and three weeks until moving in. I cant wait! x


----------



## Forgetmenot

Yay! Won't be long xx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Sounds perfect pyjamas xx


----------



## Loki Girl

Aww pyjamas that's fab. I would be like you won't mind getting up for lo (tho may change my mind after a while    ) but don't like getting up for work. Hope these last few weeks sail by for you. Are you all ready? I'm amazed just how much stuff people are offering us and how much double of everything we need cus they are both still so young!! Loving it tho. Now just trying to think how to decorate the rooms


----------



## tractorgirl

Morning everyone - hope you're all ok.

Intros start tomorrow for us. Our little lad was told about us on Friday and was so excited with his video and photo book. He's really excited to be meeting us again. Nerves are really kicking in now. It's a two-hour visit tomorrow afternoon and then full-on the for the rest of the week. It's my birthday next week as well, so it will be extra special for me this year! He moves in with us a week on Tuesday. Just been putting his new duvet and sheets on the bed. His bedroom looks great.

Good luck Freedo tomorrow - I think you start intros as well? If so, let us know how you get on. Can't believe we've finally got here. Hubby and I are going out for a Chinese tonight - our last child-free evening for a while.

Have a great Sunday, everyone. I'll let you know how we get on xxxx


----------



## becs40

Good luck tractorgirl, make some very special memories tomorrow! 😀
Good luck Freedo too! 
Pyjamas and Loki hope you're having lots of fun nesting! 😊


----------



## Lorella

Good luck for tomorrow tractor girl! X


----------



## Forgetmenot

Good luck tractor girl x exciting times ahead xx


----------



## Freedo

Hi Tractor girl , yes we are exactly the same as you with moving in week Tuesday , can't quite believe it really! 2 hrs tomorrow . So excited! Good luck for tomorrow xxxx


----------



## notgivingup

Good luck freedo and tractor girl! So very exciting! Enjoy it! Xx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Good luck freedo xx


----------



## Ozzycat

Good luck tomorrow Freedo and tractor girl, can't wait to hear all about it x


----------



## Singing lass

We too start intros on Tuesday and home a week later!  His foster carer has been amazing - with photos, texts and/or a call nearly every day with updates and info which has made it a little less surreal 😃

Sending buckets of luck Freedo and tractorgirl - a plethora of new mummies this week!!!


----------



## Cbelle1

Good luck ladies, hope this week goes well and that you get lots of lovely snuggles with your children 

Chelle
Xx


----------



## Lorella

Good luck this week too, Singing Lass and Freedo! So much going on this week. Look forward to hearing your updates. 

Forgetmenot - good luck with your call Hun. Keeping everything crossed for you xxx


----------



## pyjamas

Best wishes to tractorgirl, freedo and singing lass. Really envious but will be our turn from 6th April! x x x


----------



## Forgetmenot

Thanks lorrella.... Sadly it's a no 

We are devastated.  This is child/ren number 4 and back to square one.  I cannot believe how unlucky we feel.... I know there's all the fate stuff that our children our out there and it's not meant to be, and I get that, but we feel like this is it for us.  So unbelievably upset.  I get she is going to the better couple and rightly.... However, they had experience on something she potentially may have and we don't... So was never going to get her 

Just don't know what we will do from here.... Down and out xx


----------



## becs40

Ah forgetmenot  , it's such a cruel process sometimes. You will get there, I know it doesn't feel like it when we hit the setbacks but we always pick ourselves up and dust ourselves down for the next battle. Give yourself some time to get your fight back, you will and you will meet your little one soon. 

Singinglass I hope all goes well tomorrow.

Tractorgirl and Freedo I hope today has been everything you ever dreamed of and more.


----------



## Forgetmenot

Hard to feel like that after 10 ivfs and now no.4 link to fall through... How much more! Trying to be philosophical, but..... X


----------



## Dame Edna

Forgetmenot
Had to reply to you  
I'm really sorry    It sucks    It's a proper loss, another one  
Take care of yourself  
DE x


----------



## Lorella

Forgetmenot - so sorry this link didn't work out Hun. I was so hoping it would. Sending big hugs xxx


----------



## tractorgirl

Hi, everyone. I feel so guilty talking about our day when some of you have had such disappointment. Hang in there - your little one is out there somewhere. Xx

Had a lovely afternoon. It felt quite weird. I kept looking at him and thinking "that's my son". He was really hyper, as we expected, but was amazing. He was chatting to me at one point and put his arm around me. He called me mummy - and he also called me by my first name - which was funny. We all thought he would find it hard to attach to my husband, but was very touchy-feely with him and really enjoyed some play time with him. He has such a fabulous foster family as well, which will make this week so much easier. His foster carer rang us this evening to say he had gone straight to sleep - I was expecting him to be a problem at bedtime today as he has had so much to process. I can't describe what it feels like when you see them for that first time - it's just so weird. Everything we go through as potential adopters - the highs and lows - comes down to that first meeting; that first smile; that first touch - it's so surreal. With him being 6, we didn't want to overwhelm him with affection, hugs and kisses. We wanted him to lead that, but he insisted on getting me, him and hubby into a group hug before we left. It's going to be so nice having a little boy who loves his hugs and kisses - I don't suppose it will last long and he'll start getting "too big" for all that, so we're going to make the most of it.

Anyway - an early start tomorrow as we're having breakfast with him.

Freedo - I hope your first meeting went well. That first meeting is so emotional and I hope you lovely ladies and gents get to experience it very soon.

Xxxxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Had a bit to catch up on as the thread stopped notifying me of posts. Hate when it does that or maybe I missed an email lol. 

Anyways Tractor - what a lovely post. It all sounds like it was an amazing first meeting. He sounds a very special little boy and bet you can't wait to have him home for good. 

Freedo and Singing Lass good luck for your intros too. Such exciting times!!

Forgetmenot - I'm not sure if I missed something but didn't realise you had another potential link. I am so so sorry it didn't work out. I know it feels like another devastating blow and tbh although I wasnt sure of our LA views on that they don't bring profiles unless they want you to have the children and they don't consider anybody else unless you say no I'm beginning to think this is a good thing. Yes it's hard to hear nothing but at least when they finally came we knew we were the only family that were shown their profiles at that time. There were 2 other families they were considering and they made the decision to which family they wanted they didnt show our LO's profiles to all 3 families.  Was it a link you pursued yourself or children you enquired after? Have you had a word with your link worker and explained how devastating this is all getting? I am not going to tell you well it's fate they weren't the ones cus I know that doesn't help as I have been there. Just try to hang in there. One day you WILL get that call and finally you will be a family. Sending huge huge hugs to my very special friend


----------



## Forgetmenot

They shortlisted us x we knew nothing about her until her sw contacted ours... Know not meant to be, but starting to think all of this is not.  Now just another day to get though of inane meetings x thank you lovely x


----------



## Ozzycat

Sending u massive hugs forgetmenot.. I can't imagine how horrible this must be for u xxx


----------



## Primmer

Feeling a bit despondent today. Blues sw wants a second visit with us towards end of April. Was really hoping for matching panel in May but doesn't seem like it now. Our blue is going through it at the moment and so think they want to delay matters. Feeling paranoid that they may change their minds about us and seems such a long time to wait to see them. Really hope that everything works out.


----------



## StarryEyed

Forgetmenot... I'm so sorry to hear but don't give up. If there is anything I'm learning its that you have to keep on going and that its when you are at rock bottom and you think you are down and out that the breakthrough happens. 

Lovely to see some good news on here and for a change I have some of my own. Met with my social worker and the deputy manager who is standing in whilst they are managerless again. They have admitted that they ' could have done better' and have resolved to continue with my assessment and finally addressing panels issues starting when I'm back from my own holiday at the beginning of April. However a meeting still needs to be had with the head of service and the new manager when they join to have a firm decision but they aren't sitting in their laurels until that happens. The meeting at the beginning of April all goes ahead and then everything else will be put into place including a panel date after!


----------



## Ozzycat

Amazing news starry.. u really are a true fighter.. ur gonna get there in the end and it will so be worth it x
Same for you Primmer x

Good luck tomorrow Pringle... can't wait to see ur name on that mummy to be list as it means im next eeeeek xxxxx


----------



## Freedo

Hi all, forget me not sending you mig hugs, Loki girl exciting times!! Tractor girl, how has today gone? Well we had day two intros today with our little princess she is adorable, loves smiling and today been with us all day and not looked much for f carer, can't wait for tomorrow . Xxxxx


----------



## pringle

Thanks ozzycat. I cannot believe panel day is tomorrow eeek.

Sorry no personals but did write previous message and lost it all due to wifi in hotel.

Pringles x


----------



## Tw1nk82

Good luck for tomorrow pringles xxx


----------



## Freedo

Good luck Pringle xxx


----------



## Primmer

Good luck for tomorrow Pringles.

Freedo - sounds amazing x


----------



## StarryEyed

Good luck tomorrow Pringles x


----------



## Lorella

Good luck Pringles! Xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Pringles - yay the day is finally here!!!!! You won't need it but lots of luck sent your way. Can't wait to read your update later. 

Well we got photo and CPR on our little boy yesterday. It was done when he was a month old. Still can't believe we are getting this little guy as well as his sister!! Because they include photos of siblings we saw a more up to date one of our little princess too so that was nice. After reading it I am more confident that he will be granted the final adoption order so even dared to buy some little blue socks yesterday. They were so tiny    I also bought a little bib with I Love Daddy on   Going to surprise DH with that one lol. Think I will wait on his clothes buying he is on 75th percentile for weight and height so might need to be in next size up lol. Will see what he has when he arrives. Will prob go mad tho once we know he has for his order lol. 

Forgetmenot - hope you are doing better today. Hang in there hun. Message me if you need a rant I am always here for you  

Starry - what fab fab news. I was sooooo happy to read your post. Back on track to being a mummy I feel  

Hi everyone else. Have a good day xx


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Good luck today Pringles xxx


----------



## pringle

Hello ladies

Thank you for all your good luck wishes. Can you all see me smiling ? We got a Big Fat Yes at panel       . 

Loki girl it sounds very exciting.  

Come on ozzycat you are next. I was so nervous but panel were lovely.

Pringles x


----------



## Lorella

Yay!! Great news Pringles. 

Ozzycat - you are our last panelist on our list! What a long list of lovely mummies and mummies to be we have now xxx


----------



## StarryEyed

Congrats Pringles! Looking forward to your yes too Ozzycat.

Lorella, can I be added back to the panel list but with a tbc. Hopefully at the beginning of April I will have more detail! 

Starry x


----------



## Loki Girl

Yay Pringles congratulations


----------



## Tw1nk82

Congratulations pringles xxx


----------



## Lorella

Hey Starry - yes you are on there Hun xxx


----------



## Ozzycat

Yeahy Pringles.. well done u  
Eeeeek im on the count down now.. thankfully were off on holiday next week and land sat with panel on Monday. . Lots of time to chill and practice our answers for panel x
Loki im sooooooo excited reading ur updates x
How are the intros going ladies?? X


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Congratulations Pringles!!!

How are intros going ladies?

Loki - so exciting.

Our SW has contacted me today saying she will visit after Easter with profiles of sibling groups, she wants to establish the reality of us having two, three or four!!!!

I can't wait!


----------



## tractorgirl

Congratulations, Pringles - fantastic news!

Never underestimate how knackering intros are - and we are only on day 3. I spent yesterday on a zip wire and assault course with my six-year-old, plus playing football and general rough and tumble. I've got bruises from God knows how and I've used muscles that have laid dormant since I was a kid 😀

We've seen our boy hyper, stroppy, controlling, unable to play fairly - which has actually been really useful as we've been able to see how his foster carers manage that behaviour. We've also seen him at his best - funny, talkative, intelligent, loving and caring. He's a real character. We put him to bed tonight and gave him a shower - I think we were wetter than him. It's all going well, though. We seem to be bonding well, which is fantastic. For him, having two adult playmates this week must be wonderful for him, and I'm sure next week when he's home with us, it might be different as he realises we can't play with him for 12 hours a day and mummy and daddy have other jobs to do round the house.

He's coming to our house for the first time tomorrow for a few hours. Just hoping the weather stays nice so he can try out his new trampoline!

It's going good so far, though. We have our midway review on Friday so that should be interesting.

Freedo - how are you getting on. Are you as knackered as we are? 😄

Anyway, early night again (have to start getting used to these). Hope you're all ok xxxxx


----------



## teamug

Good evening all, not been on here for a while, don't want to bore you all with our nothing news - still just waiting...

Brilliant news to Pringles 

So good to read all of your good news on here, hopefully it won't be too much longer that I too can come back with some good news  

Love and hugs to all


----------



## Tw1nk82

Hope everyone is doing ok. Found out today that we are one of three families being concidered for a little boy and girl. I am happy we have got this far but quite anxious that we might be the ones upset. Now its just a waiting game xx


----------



## Freedo

Hi all, Tra Tractor girl, totally and utterly knackered! We took our princess out today by ourselves for the first time, she was amazing, tomorrow now she starts to come to ours, review mondY and hopefully home Tuesday xxxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Wow amazing updates Tractor Girl and Freedo. Knackering but bet u are loving it lol!!!

We have a panel date!!!!!! Can't believe it 13mths after we started this process on 19th May. Hopefully everything will go ok at the matching meeting on April 2nd but would imagine they don't think there are any issue if they are putting on an extra panel and giving us a panel date? Still worrying tho!!! Bit of a set back with our little blue. He was supposed to have his final adoption hearing end April but his SW was in court yesterday and they said oh we haven't got time to do the paperwork for April so has now been pushed back till beginning June. Means now we will have to have 2 separate matching panels rather than doing them both in May. Won't affect the timescales and when he should be coming home but more waiting to know if he is def ours. Annoying cus he has contact with his birth parents every week but the FC said he's really unsettled after and he's usually a very good baby so now he has to continue the contact, keep getting unsettled just cus courts can't get it together in time   On the upside will get more adoption leave cus we will have 2 matching certificates and little blue's will be later. Won't be much but will grab all I can lol. Can't believe how fast it's all moving  

Good luck Tw1nk keeping everything crossed you are the family for those little ones


----------



## Forgetmenot

Glad everything is going well tractor xx

Loki, that is super exciting.  Such good news xx


----------



## pyjamas

Went on possible last shopping trip before intros yesterday. though not planning on using ready made food we thought it would be useful to get a few bits in just in case we need something fast! who knew there was so much to choose from! it took us ages! last day at work tomorrow and off to London for short break. Nerves starting to kick in about intros though my mum and husband say I will be great! Not looking forward to the two long days we have planned when we are there from LO waking to bedtime! xx


----------



## Barbados Girl

Have a couple of back ups. In the first month of placement I had lovingly cooked a beautiful Annabelle Karmel creation which my husband promptly knocked on the floor. It went everywhere. It was dinner time. Pixie was hungry. I fixed my husband with a murderous look and he legged it down the round and stocked up on some Ella's Kitchen pouches. After that we were never without a couple of back up jars.


----------



## becs40

Pyjamas they are the worst days but they do go quicker than you think. I will say I did end up with a splitting headache after our first long day because I had t drunk enough as had been so involved. Day 2 went armed with a big bottle of water and headache tablets just in case. 
I had every intention of making all little mans food but I still haven't done it. It's as much as I can manage to get through each day as still suffering with cough and cold that he lovingly gave to me at xmas! I have done a few bits like spag Bol and fish pie when I've made them for us but have to confess it's mainly Ellas kitchen here. I do think he also gets a much bigger variety that way as well as there's no way I'd make that many different concoctions! Now he's that wee bit older he's having other stuff too like omelette, toast, scrambled eggs and sandwiches etc.


----------



## katie c

meh. i do a lot of master c's stuff from scratch but have also relied on the odd microwavable tray meal on far more than one occaision. he always wolfs them down so they must be half decent! they were especially useful when he was littler and i had to watch him more carefully, and mr c was late or something. 

and when i say 'from scratch' thats also heavily reliant on the microwave and frozen veg etc


----------



## Singing lass

Tractorgirl and Freedo, so glad things are going well - I echo and add my voice to the fact that intros are unbelievably tiring!  

Our 16m old blue comes home tomorrow😃😃 I don't feel quite like his mummy yet, but I've certainly done a lot of mummy things, including being thrown up on, covered in various squishy foods, spent a night in hospital on the children's ward (virus related temperature), changed what seems like a LOT of nappies, played with toys, made up 30 -odd verses to the wheels on the bus.....

I've also discovered Ella's kitchen - I cook from scratch most of the time but when you puta toddler in a high chair they expect food to arrive immediately, not after the food has been ordered and prepared so I think they will be a great emergency/out and about option.  Feel like there is so much to learn and we've only just scratched the surface.

Can't quite believe he's going to be left with us forever tomorrow after a process which started nearly 2 years ago!

Good luck ladies 😃


Xx


----------



## becs40

Ah singing lass brings back memories! Hope all goes well tomorrow. Exciting  and nerve wracking times. 😊
After 3 1/2 months I've decided I must learn more lullabies! 20 renditions of twinkle twinkle gets a tad tedious! My mum gave me a gift voucher for John Lewis for xmas to buy some new clothes for me but it's still sat there! Can't justify buying anything new for it to be covered in pee, poo, vomit, dribble or squished food lol!


----------



## Lorella

Loki and Paula - all sounds very exciting times for you!

Tractorgirl, Singing Lass and Freedo -  hope LO's settling in well 

Twink - fingers crossed this is your link


Teamug - hi Hun. Hope you're doing ok 

Re. Food - I always buy a few Ellas kitchen every week to have in the cupboard for those days Loretta turns her nose up at my dinners! They are very handy. Loretta loves them. I am also guilty of using tomato ketchup ( low sugar and salt) on occasions ( just little dabs). Great for getting her to eat meat which otherwise she would have very little of in her diet!

Those with LO's still on formula another handy tip is to get some ready made bottles in. I found these a godsend as couldn't get my head around making up the bottles in the first couple of weeks. 

xxx


----------



## Freedo

Hi all, well today our princess has moved in for good! The past few days at ours have been fab, and today so far so good! In relation to food at the moment she is having Heinz jars which the foster carer used I had all good intentions of making food but at the moment I want to get our routine sorted and then do things when she is napping, hope that doesn't make me sound bad mum!! Will report back tomorrow on first night! Hope everyone's ok xxxx


----------



## Lorella

Ah that's lovely Freedo. Just do what you have to do to get through first couple of wks and if that means Heinz jars then so be it, nothing wrong with that xxx


----------



## rosex86

Can someone please help or advise

We were approved at panel on 11th March and today found out the agency decision maker has said no ( the only called today after I was getting concerned we hadn't heard anything so I called this morning and they've just plucked up the courage to call me.

Were in shock I broke my heart on the phone, I can't understand how 9 people can yes and one person can smash our dreams and destroy our lives like that!

Our social worker said our panel went like a dream and we were only in there for 10/15mins and waited 5mins for the decision, our SW flew out to oz for 4 weeks the day after our panel so she has no idea and we can't do anything until she returns 
.

I'm lost and feel like a failure again


----------



## Freedo

Thanks Hun, she has been in bed about 40 minutes, now I feel nervous!! xx


----------



## tractorgirl

Phew! Well that's intros done and dusted and little tiger moved in today. First bedtime routine has gone ok so far - he's only come down once because I forgot to leave the landing light on. Touch wood, he'll drop off shortly. That was such an intensive week. The travelling just makes it even more tiring. We were lucky as his foster carers were amazing - we've really made some friends for life! Having good foster carers make such a difference - we can't thank them enough for what they've done with tiger. Now the hard work starts. We can't explain enough about how life-changing it is. I'm sure we'll grieve for our old life at some point in the next few weeks, but our whole routine has changed so much - everything focuses on tiger - it's weird.

Anyway, time for a well-deserved drinky-poo. And talking of poo - no one warned us how big a six-year-old's poo would be. Where does it all come from - lol!!

Xxxxx


----------



## becs40

Ah Freedo fab news! How exciting! As for jars don't sweat it! I had every good intention of prepping everything from scratch, even bought pouches etc to fill and freeze myself. 3 1/2 months later I still haven't managed it bar the odd spag Bol, fish pie, bit of mash! Little man has at least one Ellas pouch a day. Apart from anything else for him to have the variety of meals he has with Ellas I'd have  to buy half the supermarket of ingredients which wouldn't be very cost effective and would it be any better than Ellas which are all natural and organic? When I do us a fish pie, cottage pie, spag Bol, chilli etc I do portion some off for him.

Tractorgirl how fab! Glad all gone ok. Our foster carers were fab too and although haven't seen them since we have exchanged emails and sent pics. I can only imagine the amount of a 6 year old poo if our 9 month is anything to go by! As DH so eloquently put it when he had  a fairly solid one one day "blimey that's like the equivalent of me doing one to my knee!" Charming! 😄


----------



## Forgetmenot

Rose, I am so sorry.  I am not sure what happens in these situations, but I think phone them tomorrow and ask for the minutes, or their reasons why?
I think you should seek advise from adoptionuk to see where you go.  There must be an appeal process.  Please write a message on the forum and see if anyone else has had experience of this.
Much love xx


----------



## Loki Girl

Aww Rose so sorry to read your post. I'm sorry I don't have any advice but what a shock for you you poor thing. I guess there's nothing to do but wait till your SW gets back from her holiday? Can the agency tell you anything at all? You are right I can't understand why that one person would say no. Was it paperwork or something else? I'm sure whatever it is can be fixed and you will have a new panel date soon. Is that what they do have another panel? It all seems really strange. Hang in there hun you'll get there  

Aww Freedo and Tractor that all sounds like it's going swimmingly. May it all continue. It all seems so surreal to hear you talking about foods etc. If all goes to plan   our little man will be about 8mths when he moves in so we'll be having the same thing lol. Hopefully as will have to cook for an 18mth old as well he can just have that lol but good to know Ella's Kitchen there for a back up   

Just hanging on for the matching meeting on Thurs for us. If they decide that we are not the right family then it all be called off. I don't know how likely that is but it's still something else to worry about. I keep telling myself they wouldn't of set a panel date especially since they are having to put an extra one on for us if things were likely to go wrong at the matching meeting. Just hope nothing has come up and they are having second thoughts!!! I will be so glad when all I have to worry about is my children!!!!

Hope those still waiting are hanging in there and those going through the process are coping with all the meetings and courses.


----------



## Tw1nk82

So sorry to hear your news Rose xxx

Tractor and freedo hope all is well xxx

Good luck today Loki xxxxx

Im hoping to find out today if we have been chosen for the children. Its such an anxious wait xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Fingers crossed Tw1nk


----------



## Lorella

Good luck today Twink and Loki x

We are going with Nana to buy our first pair of proper shoes this afternoon! She's been in cruisers but now needs the proper thing. Seen some lovely summery ones in Clarks that will be perfect! 

Have a good day everyone. Hope you are all ok. Hugs to all xxx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Wishing you all the luck in the world Loki x


----------



## pyjamas

We are now back from our London break which was great. Now only 4 more sleeps till intros begin and I am mega excited and mega nervous! Hope its good news for you Twink and Loki Girl


----------



## Tw1nk82

We never got chosen   xx


----------



## becs40

Oh twink I am so sorry!


----------



## pringle

So sorry to hear that twink


----------



## Lorella

Sorry to hear that Twink   Xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Aww Tw1nk that sucks. I am so so sorry Hun. This is still an emotional sometimes unfair roller coaster and I just pray the next time works out better for you. Sending u and your DH hugs tonight


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Twink sending you a big hug!!! Xxx


----------



## katie c

so sorry twink   

competative matching is so cruel


----------



## becs40

Loki I hope today went well for you?


----------



## Loki Girl

Thanks Becs. We haven't heard anything. Not sure whether we would? They didn't say only said we would get the minutes from that meeting. Our SW is on holiday so our old SW who took us through upto panel represented us instead as she obviously knows us very well. I'm assuming it was just almost a formality and they agreed we could go to matching panel in May but always a bit of worry someone turned round and said no we don't think they are the right family. Guess we will have the same thing if we get to matching panel lol. Anyways just praying it all went ok!!!

Tw1nk how are you doing today? Thinking of you Hun and hoping you can bounce back and keep up the faith. 

Hi everyone else xxx


----------



## pyjamas

Have received some gifts today from family and have some presents for LO as it is her 1st birthday one week after she is due to move in. Two more sleeps to go before intros start! x


----------



## Loki Girl

Aww Pyjamas that's so fab. Guess her 1st birthday will be low key with her just settling in but what a wonderful time for you all. Good luck for tomorrow, can't wait to hear how you get on when you meet your daughter for the first time!!!! Enjoy every second


----------



## Troodles

Hi All

Sorry not been about and sorry for lack of personals. Just read through the last 5 or 6 pages trying to catch up. 

Lovely to read all the happy stories. Will try and post properly soon. 

Lots of live and hugs to you all xxxx


----------



## becs40

Pyjamas hope all goes well today. Enjoy every second, it's been worth the wait!  

Troodles hope all is going well.

Hope everyone else has had a good Easter.

We're trying to get little man to sleep still after an hour and a half and I can now hear the dawn chorus! 😴😴😴😴


----------



## pyjamas

Well our first day of intros is finally here! Today is only for a couple of hours, from 2 till 4. Although we did see LO prior to MP for about an hour, today will be the first time we meet her as Mummy and Daddy! Tomorrow we will be with her from 10 till 2. Wednesday and Thursday will be the most tiring as we will be with her from 7am till 7pm. Looking forward to Friday when we can come home with her for the day x


----------



## Barbados Girl

So happy for you! Special times indeed x


----------



## Loki Girl

Pyjamas - hope your intros continuing to go well. Bet you are loving this sunshine!!!

Well good news for us and another hurdle passed. Our matching meeting apparently went really well and they are recommending we go to panel for both children - phew. It's just one less worry, now all have to get through is little pink's panel in May, little blue's final adoption hearing beginning June then his panel at some point. I was really worried bout the meeting thinking all it takes is one thing they are not happy about for it to be called to a halt. It was so nice yesterday we hit the DIY stores and spent a fortune lol. New carpets for both their rooms, some lovely heart wallpaper for little pinks room and some transport wallpaper for little blue's. Then going to paint the other walls. Ordered new wardrobe and a chest of drawers with a changing thing on top, got some dimmer switches. Can't wait now to start decorating so I can actually start to maybe believe these little people are finally coming!!!!

Busy days on th farm this Easter so enjoying it before hopefully being on the other side in the summer lol!!!

Hope everyone is doing ok especially those still waiting. I keep everything crossed for you guys your matches are out there this year


----------



## becs40

Ah Loki how lovely! Sounds fab. Just think a few months ago it looked really rubbish for you and now you'll be enjoying the farm with your lo/s this summsr holiday! Magic!


----------



## teamug

Hi All

Loving reading all of your good news with matching and intros!

Do any of you know how we would get on if we ask our SW about fostering as there don't seem to be any children for adoption, could we do foster to adopt ?  what would be involved ?

Thanks


----------



## pringle

Lovely news Loki


----------



## Lorella

Great news Loki. Very excited for you xxx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Fab news Loki xxx


----------



## pyjamas

First two days of intros over and they have been fab! Now beginning to feel like a mummy! Congrats on your news Loki! xxxx


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Pyjamas - glad the intro is going well, it sounds like you are on cloud nine!

Loki - fantastic news, I can't wait to start doing up our spare rooms!

How is everyone else doing this week? enjoying the sunshine I hope.

We've had two profiles to read of sibling groups, some more are in the post but not received them yet.  We are meeting our SW next Wednesday to discuss the profiles.  It's daunting but very exciting.

Have a good weekend everyone.

x


----------



## Ozzycat

Hi ladies back from a lovely hot few weeks away...

Rose, I couldn't believe it when I read ur post.... any updates?

Pyjamas how are intros going??

Freedo, Troodles, Laws (and im sure there's a couple of other girlies ive missed off) how are ur little ones settling in

Twink I was so sorry to read ur post, I know we all say it and its hard to believe but ur littles ones are out there waiting for u xxx

Loki, Im so excited for u xxx

Becs and Lorella, I just lov reading about what ur little ones are getting upto, everytime I have a wobble about weather I can do this I think back to ur posts about how happy ur littles ones make u x

Lov to everyone else

AFM - Well we received our PAR just before we went away, there were a couple of things I wasn't happy with which after discussing them with our SW she has now changed and we are now really happy with it... eeeeeeekkkkkkk im not ashamed to admit it but IM POOPPING MY PANTS!!!!!!!!

10.45am on Monday, at least we wont have to wait all day, please gd it will be a BFY  
have a lovely weekend everyone xxxx


----------



## pringle

Good luck for Monday Ozzycat .


----------



## Loki Girl

Awww will be keeping everything crossed for you Ozzy. I'm sure you won't need it. Can't wait to read all about your BFY on Monday


----------



## notgivingup

Good luck for Monday ozzycat! Keep us posted! 

Great news Loki. 

Rose, completely gutted for you.  Sounds completely unprofessional to me how it's been handled. Hope you get some answers soon.  

Pyjamas sounds like things are going really well. Congratulations on becoming a mummy! Hope it continues to go smoothly.

Teamug, I think you would have to go through approval process again to foster (but I might be wrong!). 

Really hope you lovely ladies looking for a link find one soon.  Your LO's are out there waiting for you. 

Am, we've had an amazing week.  We had life appreciation day for our little pink and blue, met with foster carers, medical advisors, schools, social work team, had a blind viewing of the kids which was amazing(!!) and matched at panel at the end of it all! Now just last minute things to do in the house before we meet them to start intros in a weeks time! They should be home by end of April.  We are soooooooooo excited. Dreams really do come true it seems!    

Making the most of our last weekend as 'a couple'! 

Xx


----------



## Ozzycat

Notgivingup such a lovely post to read, congratulations xxx
Enjoy your last few days of "freedom" ;-)


----------



## Lorella

Hi all

Congrats notgivingup. How exciting for you. Good luck with intros. 

Ozzycat - good luck for tomorrow Hun! They will love you.

Loki - excellent news! So pleased all going well. 

Becs - how's the sleep deprivation!?

We are great here. I am planning Lorettas celebration day. I am going to keep it small at court with just close family and then go to park for picnic. Then will invite all back to ours for tea and a special cake I am going to make. Have also invited a few close friends to this. We will give her her presents then and I am going to read a lovely poem. I need to go and buy something nice and smart to wear! Also still need to sort Lorettas outfit! 
She is still doing amazing. Totally settled and attached to us. Just such a gorgeous gorgeous girl. We've had an amazing weekend going out and about enjoying the sun together as a family. 
Hi to all and hope you are ok xxx


----------



## Laws1612

hi all.....

im alive.....im here all the time just dont have time to write.

were all doing great the first dew weeks awful now I lool at them and I feel lile obe known them forever not just a matter of weeks....

there progressing everyday and whats amazing about that is were making that happen. 

I can honestly say damn it is tough but I really love them boys and wouldnt change it for the world. 

lorella I cant wait to be in your postion gonns make it a big deal ive waited all my life for thesr too and god it was worth it. 

good luck ozzy....cant wait to hear you news xxxx


----------



## becs40

Good luck tomorrow Ozzycat!

Pyjamas hope intros are still going well, can't be long before lo moves in is it?

Hope everyone else with new lo's is doing well.

Lorella, still sleep deprived! Last week was pretty horrific but last 2 nights have been better and to be honest amazing for us with just a couple of wake ups with longest being 45 mins which is way better than the 3 hours it was one night last week! He's also been more unsettled during the evening which is a shame, settles immediately but still need to go in. I say a shame as he was going down then going through until midnight so we were planning to go out for dinner for our anniversary. That was last Monday and we haven't done because of him waking. He is just such a joy though, his personality is really coming out and he's really funny and so clever! Almost got the shape sorter at my mums sussed, he manages 2 out of the 3 shapes 75% of the time. Pretty good going for just under 10 months now. He's like lightning crawling now and starting to haul himself up on things. He's really great fun now. We're also signed up for a new group starting in a couple of weeks so hoping we'll enjoy this one. It's music for little people and he does love his music bless him.
Your celebration day sounds wonderful! We have our court date but seems ages away yet but I'm sure it will go quickly. My family are a bit odd when it comes to things like that and, given my mum who completely adores little man, didn't even get a card when he was placed I'm not sure they'll be into the whole attending court thing. I can imagine it will just be Dh and I sadly as much as I'd like to make a big deal of it. I just fed up explaining why these things are such a big deal when they should know! 

Anyway on that sleep deprived note I'm off to bed! 💤💤💤


----------



## Tw1nk82

Good luck tomorrow ozzycat xxx


----------



## Troodles

Hi all

Just grabbing a catch up and reading all your news. Good luck tomorrow Ozzycat and sorry for no other personals. Am currently laid in bed hoping baby pickle doesn't wake up screaming for the 3rd time tonight!! Don't know how his brother sleeps through it. Mind you DH hasn't stirred either!!!

Life is certainly hectic and like Laws said the first few weeks are hard going. Think we're heading in the right direction. Have our 4 week review meeting tomorrow. 

Our boys are lovely and seem to be settling really well. We're all learning and we all get it wrong sometimes but the smiles and cuddles make up for all the tears (including mine!!). Taking them out on their new trikes today was just fab. 

I am thinking of all of you constantly but just don't have much time. 

Sending you all loads of live and hugs xxxx


----------



## Lorella

Hi ladies
I just wanted to say to those in the early stages of placement that we were totally the same. It was flippin hard! Major culture shock. Tiring.....confusing.......such a massive adaption needed to your life. At one point I definitely thought 'what have we done?'  But now 6 months on it's like she's always been here. It's wonderful. I even forget she's adopted half the time. We are even going on our first holiday together this weekend. Just a long weekend in England but we are do excited! She comes up all the time and sticks her head between my legs and looks up at me with arms stretched and says 'mama' and at that point my heart melts. When she wouldn't go to sleep on Saturday we even let her watch a bit of BGT ( she's only 14 months) and she sat there for a few minutes nestled under my arm. Was magical. I even didn't want her to go to bed! ( well for a moment!)
So  hang in there. Just wanted to say I understand what first few wks are like but they do get better and you will get some of your energy back! Xxx


----------



## Cbelle1

Hi all

I haven't posted for a while because I haven't had much to say but I'm keeping a close eye on all of your stories and am so impressed with you all. I just hope when I get to all of the stages you are at, I cope with it with the same strength and determination you all do and I have seen when a bad day is being had how this community closes around you for a virtual hug and will definitely be making use if it!!

We are finally off for our first 2 days of prep tomorrow and I'm feeling excited and apprehensive in equal measures, any tips would be greatly appreciated! I'm even worried about what to wear  

Chelle
Xx


----------



## Ozzycat

Oh my gd...
Big Fat Yes at panel..
I was so scared I cried before we went in and hubby burst into tears when they said yes!!!
One step closer to becoming a mummy and daddy
Xxxx


----------



## Lorella

Whoop whoop! Check out the front page Ozzycat! You did it! Soooo pleased for you xxx


----------



## Primmer

Ozzycat - great news! Congratulations!!!


----------



## Tw1nk82

Congratulations ozzycat xx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Congrats ozzycat xx


----------



## Loki Girl

Yay Ozzycat - knew you would do it. Congratulations Mummy to Be!!!!! Hope your wait isn't too long


----------



## becs40

Congrats Ozzycat! Hope you're celebrating!


----------



## Sweetnats

Congratulations ozzy x


----------



## pringle

Great news Ozzycat


----------



## Ozzycat

Thank u lovely ladies and thanku lorella for adding me to the 'mummy to be' list... now its just in the hands of our sw x
I actually mentioned this forum in panel when they asked if we'd met or talked with any adopters.. I mentioned what a great support this forum and u lovely ladies have been both for advice and also for understanding whats to come and acknowledging that certain worries and feelings are also shared by others so I count myself lucky to be apart of this forum..
Weve been to visit my dad whos in hospital after having what will hopefully be the final part to his cancer treatment and then out for dinner,  friends and family have been great but I think its going to take a few days to sink in!
Sending lots of lov x


----------



## Primmer

The LA of the little one we are linked with are having a meeting today about his needs and then they are visiting us next Monday to discuss his needs and any support package available. We are also hoping that when they visit on Monday that they bring a dvd of little one for us to watch. Just praying that meeting today goes ok and that they confirm when they meet us on Monday that we can proceed with little one


----------



## Kylie47

Congrats Ozzycat!! Must be a great feeling. Hope your dad is doing ok and is out of hospital soon.

Hope the meeting went well today Primmer, keeping fingers crossed for Monday.


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Fantastic Ozzycat, it's a great feeling isn't it! X


----------



## Paulapumpkin

How did the meeting go Primmer?


----------



## notgivingup

Great news ozzycat! 

Any news primmer? 

Hope everyone is doing ok

We meet our little beauties tomorrow. After a very long journey to become a family, tomorrow is the day and I can not wait (and apparently neither can they!)!!     Hope I get some decent sleep tonight cause it's going to be the last opportunity for a long while  

Have a great weekend in the sunshine x


----------



## Tw1nk82

Good luck tomorrow notgivingup how exciting xx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Wow! How old are your little monkies?

Savour every minute x I am sure it will be a special day x 

Don't know how you ladies hold back tears... Well up just thinking about it xx


----------



## Ozzycat

Notgivingup thats sooo exciting. . Keep us updated with how it all goes x
Amazing news x


----------



## Loki Girl

Yay - good luck for tomorrow notgivingup. It must be the most amazing feeling to think you are almost there. I keep thinking like that too, just ticking one hurdle off after another till one day hopefully in just over a month we will meet our little girl!!!

Medical advisor meeting went well. Was nice to hear both little ones meeting all their milestones. Just hearing them say that everyone says little pink is adorable and everyone says what a sweetie she is almost had me in tears thinking they could be talking about my little girl lol!! Our SW still says we have nothing to worry about but still not trying to get up too high hopes about matching panel like many people have said I can't imagine any other children as ours now so they had better say yes hahaha!!! Just over a month to go!!!

Anyways love to you all especially those waiting for news and will look out for your amazing update notgivingup


----------



## teamug

Hi All

Sorry no personals, I haven't posted in this group lately as I didn't want to come here and moan about still waiting for a child when you are all posting some great news about your children and children you are linked with, well hoping now I can join in with the good news again, as we have SW's and FF team coming to see us for a little pink, not got the confirmed date yet but should be either end of next week or beginning of the following. Feeling very excited but trying not to get too carried away. 

Hugs to all


----------



## RocketJ

Hi Teamug, I'm in the same position - I've been reading, but not posting for ages as it felt like there wasn't much to say. I've had a CPR this week though, and am saying yes to the SW visiting, so will be on tenterhooks next week waiting for them to set a date. I've found it impossible not to get emotionally involved by this stage, which I know is setting myself up for heartache as I'm not the only link. Hopefully we'll both get the visits booked in soon, though not too soon as I may need to do a bit of tidying/cleaning!!

Hi to everyone else - love reading about how you are all getting on x


----------



## Ozzycat

Good luck teamug and rocket j... got everything crossed for you,  keep us updated xxx
Hope everyone else is having a lovely weekend. . Sadly im back on nights.. roll on maternity leave! 
Xx


----------



## teamug

Thanks Ozzycat  

Rocketj - good luck it is so hard not to get emotionally involved about them I know exactly what you mean, maybe this time it really is our turn, everything crossed for you


----------



## Loki Girl

Ooh tea mug so pleased to read your post!!! Going to keep everything crossed this is your little one and everything goes well at the meeting. How old is she?

Rocket - hopefully sign things are looking up for you too and this is your little one. 

Can't wait to hear your updates!!!


----------



## Forgetmenot

Congrats teamug and rocket xx fingers crossed these links are like chains that no one breaks!!!
Xx


----------



## teamug

Thanks Forgetme not and Loki - really hope so - she is 8


----------



## pyjamas

at last I have managed to find five minutes to check emails! LO has now been home for 1 week and its hectic! but SO well worth the wait. LO has settled really well apart from it takes ages for her to get to sleep at night and screams if put down before she is asleep but early days yet really. It was her 1st birthday yesterday which was lovely x


----------



## becs40

Ah congrats pyjamas, how lovely. Obviously not the screaming but as you say early days, hopefully she'll settle soon.

Fab news on links for people, is it my imagination or does the system seem to be moving again?

As for us well little man is amazing. He's now 10 months old and been home 4 months today. He's such a cheeky monkey and has such a fabulous personality. We had some friends round for lunch today and he was ok at going to them for cuddles but was instantly looking for me to make sure it was ok which felt amazing. He's still not great through the night but we have some better nights. I think a lot of it is actually separation anxiety so that's actually nice to know as its normal and also shows his attachment to us. I must confess I do feel a little guilty for actually enjoying cuddling him in my arms to get him off when he wakes, also can't get him back into the cot until he's been asleep for about half an hour so I do get to spend quite a lot of time just watching him sleeping so peacefully in my arms. Magic moments indeed!


----------



## teamug

Aww Pyjamas loved reading your post ! great stuff 

We have our date confirmed for SW visit they are coming on Friday - let the tidying and baking begin!


----------



## RocketJ

Great news Teamug - I hope it goes really well. Despite being desperate to get things moving, I'm hoping they won't want to visit me this week, as I'm off on a residential trip in the morning! I'm going to frantically clean this evening, just in case they say they want to come on Friday afternoon when I get back. It's so unlikely that they will say that, but of course it's bound to happen if I leave the house in a state!


----------



## Primmer

Feeling totally heartbroken   we have been linked with a little blue since mid feb when we met with his social workers and everyone confirmed happy to proceed. We had a further meeting with our sw and his sw yesterday as they had some updates on him and so much is going on with him that they no longer think he is ready to be placed at present and that new issues have arisen with him which mean there is a high chance of a disruption if we were to go ahead after a further wait of an estimated 6 months for him. Feel so sad for him and us. 
The advice from our VA is to start looking at other profiles even though they admit at present there they have none to show us


----------



## liveinhope

sorry to hear that Primmer....


----------



## Loki Girl

Primmer - was so sorry to read your post. How have you been doing? It must b so hard because deep down you want what's best for him but on the other hand it is heart wrenching to think you have to hold off. Hoping you are doing better  

Teamug - how was your meeting it was today wasn't it?

We have had our Adoption Placement Order dropped off today. It's just so weird reading about how they think we will be the best parents and how we will meet their needs. I just find it all surreal sometimes. We also got a tentative timeline for things should things go well at panel in May. If we get a yes then we will have the child appreciation day on 1st June and then we will be able to meet our little pink in the afternoon for a short time. Then introductions will start on the 2nd June with a review meeting on the 9th. If all going well she will be placed with us 10th/11th June!!!!!! I have been sooooooo excited today. Can't believe these plans are being made. Keep telling myself they must be confident but still hardly daring to believe that something won't go wrong!!  Then in the middle of that our little boy will get his final hearing on 4th/5th June so then we will know for sure if he has been granted his final adoption order. 

So for now am looking forward to our cruise on Wednesday and just going to try and relax and enjoy our time together before the mayhem commences lol. 

How are all you other ladies getting on. Any other news happening? Happy weekend everyone


----------



## pyjamas

Looking forward to tomorrow when my husband will be at home so I will be able to have a proper relaxing bath for a change. LO is now getting off to sleep at night with no problems. I also love to sit with LO sleeping in my arms and sometimes cant believe how lucky I am! Not loving getting up at 5am most morning but do love LO! xxx


----------



## becs40

Oh primmer, so sorry to hear that. Devastating for all concerned.  

Loki how fab! We've just booked our first holiday with little man for June, a weekend at centre parcs with my brother and his family.

Pyjamas must be something about us mummies and baths on a Saturday lol, I know Lorella said she has Saturday too! Saturday is my lie in day and last night I made dh get up to little man so consequently he got up twice for about 20-30 mins. For me the night before it was 3 times for 3 hours, the worst being 3am-5am! So  not feeling my usual wrecked self thus am so happily catching up on a bit of forums then a little nap and a bath. Little man was clearly better for more sleep this am as he woke us at 6am by babbling and squealing very loudly to his 2 teddies, I watched him on the monitor happily playing with them for 15 minutes before dh and I both went in. The excitement and smiles were immense, he was like a kid at a party that's just consumed a bucket load of E numbers lol!


----------



## teamug

Morning all

We had our meeting yesterday it went really well very positive, they left and then half an hour later came back again and told us they would like to progress with us, so happy and excited, just got to wait for time line of dates now, just hoping this time this is it and we have found our daughter and nothing will go wrong  

Hugs to all have a good weekend


----------



## Lorella

Teamug - great news
Primmer - really sorry to hear that  
Loki - enjoy your cruise

Becs - we've just got back from our first holiday. We went for long weekend in this country. It was great....lovely to make all those memories but I think me and DH had a realisation check that for the next few yrs holidays are all about LO! We went with my parents and that allowed us a little time out to relax so I would defo recommend going on holiday with other people! 

Well off to have my bath ....😉 x


----------



## becs40

Teaming fingers crossed!

Really looking forward to it Lorella. When my brother and sister in law came down in half term to meet little man they were both very hands on which was great. My mum loves him to pieces but he is a bruiser of a baby at 24lbs and she suffers from neck problems so struggles to pick him up or hold him for any length of time. My nephews are 13 and 10 so there'll be lots at centreparcs to suit them as well our holidays probably won't change too much as we have a dog so it was always looking for places to stay that took them then couldn't go into a lot of places because of her etc. luckily my mum can manage the dog ok so she's staying at home this time! It means she also gets a break from being a teddy bear/climbing frame for little man for a few days too!


----------



## pyjamas

Daddy in charge this morning so mummy has been able to have her relaxing bath and a cup of tea that you can drink before it goes cold! LO slept till 545am which is a lot better than 5am. Today my husbands birth son is coming to meet LO for first time xx


----------



## Ozzycat

Pyjamas I lov reading ur updates,  so happy for you,  sounds like uve taken to it like a duck to water x
Its so lovely reading all the mummy updates keeps me believing it will happen for us  

Well ive gone from being on a high to crashing down to the low :-(
After finishing nights ive spent loads of time with my friends who are on maternity leave and Wednesday I took my 4yr old twin nephews to lego land.. I was surrounded by happy pregnant mummies and since then I've just felt so sad..
The only contact weve had with sw was to tell us the panels decision was upheld which is great but now its just the waiting. ..

Ive applied to do a days seminar in London if anyones interested Friday 5th june . Its run by coram and its about life story work. . Im also gonna keep an eye out to see what else is being run.

Ive told the sw that for 6months we wont join any websites or the national database and give her a chance to match us locally so now I just have to be patient x
Have a lovely weekend ladies and enjoy ur baths and hot cups of tea xxx


----------



## Troodles

Hi everyone

I'm still alive. So sorry Ive not been coming on, it's been a difficult,t few weeks. Have just read through all your posts but won't even try to do personals. Just wanna send you all great big hugs. 

So we are  5 and a bit weeks in and our two boys are adorable, we are so lucky which makes it so much harder for me to admit that I don't feel like I'm coping very well. I do everything the boys need and we have lots of laughs and cuddles but at times I just get so stressed and a couple of times I've shouted at the bigger pickle which is just not on. He really doesn't deserve it and I feel awful straight afterwards. It's been when I've asked him to do or not do something g and I've repeated mysel at least 10 times. Something just clicks and I end up shouting. Things did start to feel better and I was feeling less stressed and then a stomach bug hit the poor little pickleS. I've been puked on and covered in pooh all week. Oh the joys. Having no sleep doesn't help. DH got up with them this morning but I was wide awake go got up and cleaned (after a hot cup of tea I bed!). Think I'll do the bath thing next week. 

I'm hoping its normal to feel this way, I am starting to feel like a 'real mum' but everything just seems a slog. DH out for the evening. Both pickles fast asleep and I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself and feeling like the worst mum in the world and that they'd be better off with someone better. 

Sorry for the me post after being absent for ages but no one will understand like you lovely lot. 

Take care all. 
T xxxxx


----------



## Sweetnats

Troodles please don't beat yourself up. I am no where near the stage you are but I imagine this is a very normal thing. When we are tired our patience will be thinner. And it's instinct. And with all the will in the world we can remember what they have been through, etc but it's not always easy to put in practice when being tested. You are doing an amazing job and the boys are lucky to have you. Rmeber what they tell us. Make sure you take time for yourself and don't beat yourself up x


----------



## becs40

Ah Troodles we've all had our moments! It's such a massive change to our lives - especially for you with two! Our little man is utterly adorable and charms the pants off anyone, to everyone else he's a beautiful smiley happy baby but he can also test the patience of a saint! We have literally been up a minimum of 4 times a night every night bar about 2 for anything up to 3-4 hours some nights for four months now. That has an effect! It makes you less tolerant, less patient and less playful- none of these good things when parenting an adopted child.
I found myself one night at about 4.30am having got up for I think the 5th time then and had been up for an hour at that point putting little man asleep into his cot only for him to be wide awake the minute he touched the mattress! It was at this point I felt myself getting really cross and ended up walking out and getting dh to go in. I felt utterly awful immediately and went back in 5 minutes later and just cuddled him. We are all just human, doing the best that we can in challenging times. I remember one of the sw's on our prep course saying we're not looking for perfect parents we're looking for good enough parents! When I'm struggling I remind myself of this, I'm not perfect but I flipping well am more than good enough.
It does get easier because suddenly you barely remember what life was like before they came and this is the new normal and you kind of find a peace with that.
I fully recommend getting dome kind of agreement in place about some time out for you, the minute we started doing this I felt do much better. I knew that Saturday mornings were mine to do as I pleased, I could sleep, I found gave a relaxing bath, catch up on emails etc but I didn't have to get up at ridiculous o'clock and think about everyone else as thus was my time. It really helps knowing that as the week progresses and it gets closer to Saturday I just gave to hang in there that little bit longer too. 
I've also left little man with my mum for a couple of hours now twice to go out and do a bit of shopping etc without having to pack a small suitcase and not forget anything before leaving the house!
Be kind to yourself I am certain you will be doing a brilliant job, we are always our worst critics!


----------



## becs40

I'd also like to add that I've just re read what I've written and I am not illiterate but this poxy iPad constantly changes words into the most ridiculous things! "This" always becomes "thus", is usually becomes U.S and so on (so was just changed to do!), so please excuse my illiterate iPad!


----------



## Troodles

Thank you sweetnats and Becs.  Problem is at the moment I don't even think I'm good enough. 

The sickness hasn't helped. Haven't left the house all week and we've beenstrict with the no meeting people. Only met parents and a couple of friends a few times. Hardly anyone been to our house and we haven't been to anyone's at all. Would love to pop into mum and dads for a cuppa. 

DH is good at Saturday mornings but doesn't hear them wake at night so I was still up most of the night with both of them. I even woke him to sort out little pickle at 1:30 this morning but once I'm awake, that's it and then this morning I couldn't sleep and felt guilty laying in bed so did a load of housework. 

DH out on the Ras today so having a peaceful evening so far. Boys not stirred yet. Gonna go to bed in a minute and see if I can get a good night. Can't stop crying tonight but maybe it'll do me good to get it all out x


----------



## Troodles

Ps I also have an annoying ipad that thinks it knows better than me what I want to type!! Xx


----------



## Sweetnats

Troodles. We have just done our prep course and they talked a lot about post adoption blues. And it's very common. You are probably experiencing that. Do not doubt yourself. You are doing amazing. Not many can take on two. And you have and are doing great. As you said. They are both happy children. So that speaks volumes. X


----------



## becs40

Ah Troodles you are definitely good enough! I have no doubt you are doing a brilliant job even though you don't believe it yourself. It is such an alien situation the first few weeks-especially with illness! Nothing is normal at all as you say you've cut yourself off from everyone which doesn't help our own moods. 
Can dh have the boys for an hour at least today whilst you get yourself out of the house and meet someone for coffee or even just go for a walk by yourself if you want to. It's important for you to have that time away from it to allow yourself to think and process things. Do you like swimming? I always find a good swim very therapeutic!  It's definitely harder for us mums to allow ourselves that time away from the situation as we feel we have to be there all the time as the main carer but trust me you do need it even if it's just an hour, you'll be amazed how much it helps.
But you are completely normal!


----------



## Forgetmenot

Hang in there troodles xx


----------



## Troodles

Thanks again Becs and Sweetnats and thanks FMN. 

DH took boys out for a couple of hours this afternoon so I could have a rest but I was naughty and cleaned the house!! I do feel better though as the house hadn't had a proper clean for ages and it was getting me down. Like your swimming idea Becs. I've been going to Aqua fit on a Monday evening for years but haven't been since intros. Trouble is I would have to leave right in the middle of bath, story, bed to get there. Am going to go back to my volunteer job at Rainbows on Wednesday so hopefully that will make me feel better. 

Managed some sleep last night as big pickle slept through and little pickle woke at 4 for a bottle. Just done some ironing and now sitting having a peaceful hot cup of tea!!

Thanks so much for all your support. Xxx


----------



## becs40

Ah you see a couple of hours really is a miracle worker! 
Are there any other Aquafit classes? Have to say DH and I do sometimes do bath and bed alone now if one of us has something on so you will get to that stage too.
My little pickle was a little pickle last night! Woke at 12.30m, dh was in with him until 2.15 and still not asleep so I went in at 2.30am until 3.15am. Then was up at 6 bright eyed and bushy tailed! Where do they get the energy?


----------



## teamug

Aww Troodles - sounds like you are doing a wonderful job, especially as you have taken on two, love it that you did house work instead of putting your feet up, that's what being a Mum is all about  stick at it, it will all full into place.


----------



## Troodles

We do do it alone sometimes but with 2 it's much easier if we both do it. Have just arranged a couple of visits with friends for this week so hopefully that will help. 

You poor thing Becs. That little pickle. I bet he was wide awake and full of smiles. Hope he lets you sleep tonight. 

Thanks again for kind words and you Sweetnats. 

Love to all xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Troodles so glad to hear things are a bit better. I am under no illusions that it will be a huge change to bring 2 little ones into our lives and as much as we would like to be super mum at the end of the day we are just normal people who get tired and ill. Having spent years as a nanny I know how children love to find those buttons to push and sometimes we give into shouting. What mother has never shouted at their children? Don't beat yourself up they will love you unconditionally!! It's good you can get some time out and it's good your DH took the boys out. I laughed at you doing the housework cus I would prob do the same lol!!

Pyjamas - how's things going with your LO?

Ozzy - It's perfectly normal. I was great for 2 weeks after panel just relishing in the fact I was going to be a Mum then the hunger for my family set in lol!!!! It consumes your every thought I know - when are you going to get that call. I know I was very lucky and quite quick with our link and you never know what is going on behind the scenes. We promised to give our LA 3mths and are very grateful we have been linked to children in our area. We were told there weren't any children then 3 weeks later they had a link!! 

Well we are off on our cruise tomorrow. Can't wait. We have been so busy getting the rooms ready and thinking of everything we need for 2 under 18mths lol. It's just been overwhelming. Our social worker came last night for us to sign the childrens adoption placement reports and the support plans etc and how the FC's will be starting to get ready to prepare them then she started talking about doing a photo talking book and dvd and I was like still can't believe this is happening!! We are determined to enjoy our cruise and maybe not talk about the kids at all but I doubt that will happen lol!! New carpets going down while we are away so when we get back we can put the furniture up. Wallpaper is done, hearts for our little girl and cars etc for our little boy. Just feel tempting fate to be doing all this before we have gone to panel although our SW keeps saying don't worry about anything!!! Good news is even tho little blue won't have had his permanence hearing till beginning June we are being matched with both children at panel so won't need to go through another matching panel for little blue so things can move quite quickly as long as little pink is settled and doing well. 

Whrn we get back from our holiday it wil only be 11 days till matching panel!!!

Anyways will catch up with all your news when we get back. Take care everyone xx


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## Forgetmenot

Have an amazing time Loki.... You so deserve this.

Enjoy every minute of it.....  You need some mummytobe pampering!

Xx


----------



## Troodles

Thanks Loki

Have a fab holiday and can't wait to read all your news when you get back. 

Hope everyone ok. 
Lots of love xxx


----------



## pyjamas

Things continue to go well for us. Last night was especially great as LO went to bed and straight to sleep at 630pm, woke up for bottle at 5am, straight back to sleep till 715am. amazing! Went to Baby Bounce and Rhyme Time which LO enjoyed on Tuesday, spent the day at my parents on Wednesday, met Daddy in city for lunch on Thursday and Mum came over to blitz house for me on Friday. We have been invited to a celebration on Sunday for two year old birthday. LO has been snuffly and coughing though so will see how she is on Sunday morning xx


----------



## notgivingup

Evening all! 
I'm still in the land of the living - just! 
Can't believe 2 weeks ago we had only just met our LO's and now they are sleeping upstairs and have been home for nearly a week! Intros were great but so difficult being in foster carers house no matter how lovely they were and living in a Hotel became very tedious!  It just added to the kids confusion.  Since we've been home we have had such amazing times and tender moments and a few hairy ones too! The washing machine is on constantly and my bottom sure misses sitting down! But it is so worth it! All that heartache and waiting was worth it and it feels like they have always been here! Can't imagine life without them now.  Hold on in there to those who are still searching or just starting out. It's really is worth it when it's right! 

Hope everyone else is doing ok and enjoying bank holiday weekend! Xx


----------



## becs40

Ah that's fab news notgivingup! Everyone says how hard the intros are and you think you're prepared for it but they really are tough! It was so nice once we got little man back to ours and started our family life. 
The other thing everyone said about and now I really am realising it is being physically fit and strong enough. Little man is 10 months old now and been here 4 1/2 months and it's not getting any easier in fact I'd say it gets harder! He's so blooming heavy my poor muscles don't get any recovery time. So seriously all you mummies in waiting hoping for little ones get practising lugging a couple of stone around with you now to build yourself up.


----------



## pyjamas

I agree that intros are really hard especially the long days at FC house and because we didn't really get on all that well with her! It is bliss having LO at home. Went to local park this morning and LO loved the swings and sharing an ice cream with mummy! I think that LO may be a little small for her age but shes certainly fairly heavy already so she will definitely get harder to lug around! So good to hear from all the other new mums on here XX


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## Forgetmenot

Some great new updates!
Exciting to read xx


----------



## Tw1nk82

I havent been on for a while as i have been having some time out. Lots of happy updates on hear at the moment so let them continue xxxx


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## becs40

Ah Twink nice to see you back. Hope you're doing ok.


----------



## Forgetmenot

Lost another link!! I think we have to be the most unlucky couple ever!!!

Dh proper upset and has had enough!! How do you keep it going when your heart is breaking xx


----------



## Lorella

Big hugs FMN   xxx


----------



## Tw1nk82

forgetmenot xxxx


----------



## notgivingup

Huge hugs forgetmenot. Do you get any feedback or info as to why so you can out your views across or ask your sw to support you more with links? Really feel for you.


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## Forgetmenot

No all very vague x we keep saying there must be something wrong with us as every time.
She says no, really strong couple blah blah blah and she's really positive but we don't believe or feel it now x

That's five strong links x some been cos too close wtc bit feeling like destined not to be now xx


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## becs40

Ah forgetmenot  . I'm so sorry! Hang on in there, I'm a great believer in fate which is hard to accept when you're going through the **** times but things have a way of coming good when it's right so stay strong and keep focussed on your end goal. When you have your lo home with you you'll know it's because it's your child and it was always meant to be.


----------



## pyjamas

Health visitor came for 1st visit on Tuesday and seems very pleasant. First review yesterday since placement. Went well and LO charmed them all! Husband has booked a reflexology treatment for me tomorrow as my reward for getting this far! x


----------



## becs40

Fab news pyjamas! The first review is always so nerve wracking! We're hoping we have our last next week!
Glad you got a good hv too I'm sure that will be good. We have hv coming next week also to do 9 month check (nearly 11 months though!) .
How has lo settled and how are you finding it now you're a few weeks in?


----------



## teamug

Hi All, so sorry to hear your news Forgetmenot sending big hugs  

Update from me - we should be going to panel in July ! whoop whoop. Date not confirmed yet but will either be 6th or 27th  we go to visit foster parents and school on 1st June. So looking forward to that, everything crossed it all goes well this time


----------



## Lorella

Hi all,
Just thought I'd update you that we've had our celebration hearing and our gorgeous daughter is 100% all ours now! Feels amazing and such a relief. We had a brilliant Celebration Day too xxx


----------



## becs40

Great news Teamug fingers crossed!

Lorella how fabulous! Congratulations! I have to say as our court date draws ever closer I get more anxious and can't wait for it all to be over!


----------



## teamug

Lorella - Fantastic news congratulations


----------



## Primmer

Pyjamas - glad first visit from health visitor went well

Teamug - all sounding positive and exciting!

Lorella - how exciting, congratulations, lovely news to hear!


----------



## Tw1nk82

Lorella fantastic news xxxx


----------



## pyjamas

Hurrah for Saturday morning baths! LO went to bed and straight to sleep at 630pm and did not stir till 615am. I had to check she was still breathing! Cant imagine life without her now x


----------



## pringle

Good luck Teamug

Congratulations Lorella

Xx


----------



## Lorella

Thanks Pringle, Twink, Primmer, Teamug and Becs 😘 xxx

Teamug - July will be here in no time. Exciting!

Mummy day off today - going on a hen day! Hope you're all ok x


----------



## teamug

Hi All, hope you are all doing well and had a good weekend ?  I am excited we have a DVD of our little pink going in the post tomorrow recorded delivery so should receive Wednesday !!


----------



## Lorella

Ah Teamug that's lovely. Will it be the first time you've seen a video? When we got our 20 sec clip of LO it was amazing. We just kept playing it over and over again as I'm sure you will. Xx


----------



## teamug

Thanks Lorella, yes it will be the first time, so excited I know we will keep on playing it over even without having seen it yet


----------



## Ozzycat

Hi lovely  ladies. ..
lorella  massive  congratulations  on ur lovely  news u must be  so relieved x
teamug  I'm sooo excited  for you, ur going to  see ur daughter  in a few days : 0
Pyjamas  I  love  reading  ur updates and  to hear how  happy u are x
well afm, we're plodding  along  in no man's land.. Our sw has been  great and emails  every  other week  telling  us were always  talked about  at managers meetings and  she currently  has us in mind for a  little one but she won't tell us anything  incase they don't  get the  court order... she says littlies are coming  thro but slowly. . I'm doing  ok at the  moment and just  enjoying  reading  everyone's  updates and looking forward to  one day  joining  in  
lots of  love  xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Well back from a lovely holiday and so lovely to come on here and catch up with some good news. 

Congratulations Lorella - must be such a lovely feeling to think she is finally officially yours. Hope you had a magical day. 

Teamug - how exciting. We only have a young pic of our little ones no dvd or anything so that must be lovely to actually watch your little one I would of loved that lol. Thinking might see if we can get another one of our little blue. The only pic we have is of him is at 5 weeks. He is currently 5mths and won't be moving in with us till he's prob almost 7mths so hopefully after he fingers crossed gets his adoption approved we can ask for another one. 

So now just got to get through the next week before panel a week tomorrow!!! Have no idea what to expect so if any of you Mummy's have any advice about what you were asked I'd be grateful to know lol. It's going to be a loooooong week!!

Anyways hi to everyone else wherever you are in your journeys


----------



## notgivingup

Loki, hope you had a great holiday! We were only asked why these kids, what is our support network (as we were long distance so kids sw can't just call in if there are problems, and how we found life appreciation day. I think we got away lightly really amuse they were easy to answer and we were in a nod out in 10 mins hope yours goes well! 

Ozzycat, glad you feel kept informed by your sw. Hope your find your lo soon! 

Lorella - huge congratulations! How lovely! How did you celebrate? 

Teamug, so exciting! I had to hold back tears when I saw the first video of our kids.  They melted my heart in an instant. Hope it's as  amazing for you! 

Pyjamas, we've not ventured to swimming yet but trying our best to wear out the kids so they sleep well - to be fair they sleep 12 hours most nights. Some days we make it to 7.30 - usually on days when daddy is on morning duty which is really annoying!! I'm not a morning person! Sounds like you are having fun though! 

Hope everyone is doing ok.


----------



## StarryEyed

Hey ladies,

With everyone having such great and exciting news, I've been a little reluctant to post. However I wanted you to know that after much thought I decided to jump off the adoption wagon and start a new journey. In the end it boiled down to the fact that whilst I felt more than ready to adopt, I don't think the system is ready for me. The process is getting more challenging instead of easier and I lack faith in the system for those of us that fall outside of the traditional category of potential adopters i.e. 'young', single, renters with complicated family backgrounds. I wish you all the best in your journeys.

Starry


----------



## Forgetmenot

Teamug, how was the dvd? Exciting, hope it was all you had hoped and more xx

Starry, sorry to read your news. Which you all the luck in the world on your new journey and who knows where your path will take you.  I know you will have made the right decision for you. xx


----------



## Ozzycat

Sending  hugs starry.. I hope  great  things are ahead for  u x


----------



## Loki Girl

Starry - wishing you the best of luck with your new journey. You will succeed I have no doubt. We will miss you


----------



## teamug

FGMN- we should receive the DVD today very excited to watch it tonight 😃 

Good luck in your new journey starry 😃


----------



## Lorella

Good luck in your new journey Starry. Take care xx


----------



## Primmer

Starry - best of your luck on the new journey ahead of you. Wishing you hapiness in your next adventure whatever it may be.

Teamug - hope you receive your dvd today, bet you can't wait to watch it!

Loki - welcome back from your holiday, hope the next week till your matching panel goes quickly.


----------



## Kylie47

Hi ladies

Haven't been on here for a while as had major hip surgery a fee weeks ago so the adoption process has fallen second fiddle to that for a bit. Our DB'S checks delayed Stage 1 but have now come through and we're officially starting Stage 2 this week - yey! It's quite handy being on sick leave at the moment - lots of time to do adoption homework. Should get a panel date soon, hopefully will be in Sept. Really pleased things are moving again  .

Have enjoyed catching up on all your news, lots of exciting things happening at the moment! 

Starry - really sorry you've had such a rough journey thus far ... I'm hoping you have a better time going forward, in whatever direction life takes you. Take care xx

Hope everyone is having a good week xxx


----------



## becs40

Starry I a, truly sorry to read your news after all that you've given to the process it's really sad. I hope you are successful and happy with your new journey.


----------



## teamug

hey all, DVD arrived how lovely to actually see our daughter to be talking and playing    falling in love already  can't wait to meet her, also got "pencilled in" panel date today 27th July  at last its all coming together


----------



## Troodles

Hi a all

Just bed. Trying to do a quick catch up. Congrats Lorella that's amazing. What did you do? Need inspiration lol
Pyjamas glad it's going well and glad you had a good holiday Loki. 

Start I don't know what to say. Am so sorry hun. Sending you big hugs and wishing you all the best for the future. 

Teabag thats just lovely. Am so happy for you. 

So big love and hugs to everyone and sorry if Ive missed you out. 

Things here getting better by the day and going out and meeting real human beings helps!!

Take care and I'll try and check in more often xxxx


----------



## Lorella

Thanks ladies! We had a lovely , lovely celebration day. Court was early. We just had immediate family (about 10 of us) to court. All dressed up smart. I wore a dress and heels and DH shirt and tie. Court was quite quick. Judge was lovely. Even let DH put his wig on! Really just a chance for photos. LO got certificate and sat on his lap. She was so good! We were lucky with weather so then went to park that had outside cafe and sat there. SW came and we had a coffee and gave her present. She got LO one too that was nice. Then we all went to a pub for lunch. LO was head of table! Then we all went back to mine. I had decorated house with banners , balloons etc and made a special cake. LO opened lots of presents. Such a lucky girl. We all had a toast with champagne and I said a little thank you and readout 2 poems ( with a couple of tears). I also invited a few other close friends to the house too. 
It was a perfect day. 

Troodles - glad things going well. It gets soooo much easier once you can go out and about and meet people 
Teamug - lovely about the DVD 
Kylie - fingers crossed for panel date soon 
Notgivingup - we got our babies! Glad it's going well 
Loki - glad had nice hol. You will smash panel! 
Ozzycat - you've got a great attitude Hun. Fingers crossed for that special link soon 

Hi to everyone else and hope you're all ok
Xxx


----------



## Primmer

Lorella - the day sounds amazing, so happy for you x


We are waiting to hear if we are going to be visited by a LA about a 3yr old pink. We have over last 2 days seen her CPR, medicals, photos and a dvd. It is difficult to get too excited after the heartache of the link with the little blue falling through but we are trying to remain positive.


----------



## notgivingup

Good luck primmer! Fingers crossed! 

Sounds fab Lorella and so well deserved. It feels a lifetime ago we were cycle buddies! 

Hope all is going well troodles. I'm going it alone next week when DH returns to work so I too will be craving adult company again! 

Tea mug, so glad you enjoyed the DVD and it's coming together. So exciting! 

Finally a sunny day. So we're off out to  are the most of it! X


----------



## Lorella

Thanks ladies and good luck with poss link Primmer! 
Notgivingup - yes seems like a different life! 😊

Few tears from me today ( most unlike me). Got life story book dropped off. It's lovely but first read was hard, especially seeing pictures of BPs with LO looking so happy at contact. I do worry that when LO is ready to read it she will be confused and think 'well we look so happy, why couldn't I stay with them?' I guess it's only natural to feel like that and we will deal with those sorts of questions when the time comes. Just burst my bubble a bit today xx


----------



## liveinhope

Good luck Primmer


----------



## Loki Girl

Hi everyone, just catching up as missed a few posts. Lorella sounds like a lovely day for you all. Congratulations!!! I can understand what you mean about her book, but I am sure once you explain how things were and why she couldn't stay with them she will know that her birth parents were happy to do the right thing. 

Primmer - keeping everything crossed for your potential link. 

Well we have had a manic few days. SW emailed us yesterday with ideas on how to make our dvd. She originally told us she would discuss it with us after panel on Tues but has now decided she wants it for Tues so she can give it to the foster carers right after panel. The rooms are not finished so we have had to work really hard to get them finished and to try and buy the things little one likes so they can be in the video!!! I thought blimey not like giving us a lot of time to prepare!!!!  We also got our letter inviting us to our child appreciation day on 1st June. I'm just still a little bit feeling can we just get through panel first? I know it should be comforting that they are so positive and optimistic that they can plan all of this but it's hard for me to be doing it all before we get an official yes they are ours!!! DH understands and feels the same way. I guess it is only natural to put the defences up due to the history we all share and understand. I just can't wait to finally put it all behind us and know for sure our little ones will be coming home. Roll on Tues lol!!!!


----------



## Forgetmenot

Fantastic news though Loki.... Wishing you all the very very best x fingers and toes crossed, you guys will knock their socks off xx


----------



## teamug

Primmer - Very good luck to you, everything crossed  

Troodles - so glad things are getting better for you, hang on in there  

Loki - Wow it's nearly here! how exciting our panel day seems so far away. Can I ask what is the appreciation day ? Good luck at panel 

Lorella - sounds like celebration day was amazing  

Hello everyone else hope you are all good and have a good week


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## Paulapumpkin

Good luck for Tue Loki!!! Xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Thank you ladies. Feeling a range of emotions from nervous, excited, disbelief we have actually made it to this day lol. Hoping I will sleep tonight!!! I just can't believe that tomorrow we could be parents of these 2 little angels - well 1 of them lol will still have to hang on and wait for little blue to have his final placement hearing but hopefully half the battle will be won tomorrow. 

Tea mug - I don't know if everyone has a child appreciation day or it's something our LA does. Basically if all goes well tomorrow on 1st June we go to a meeting and meet absolutely everyone who has had anything to do with our little pink. They will then tell us everything they know. So health visitor will be there, her foster carers will be there, her social worker will be there. It's an opportunity for us to learn everything we can about her. Then on that afternoon we will be able to meet her for about an hour!!!

We finished the dvd for her yesterday. That was fun lol. We had a lot of out takes lol. 

Anyways thank you again and will update tomorrow with hopefully some fantastic news


----------



## Ozzycat

Good luck  loki sooooo excited for u x


----------



## pyjamas

Now have arranged a date for FC to see our LO. Apprehensive because we didn't get on with FC but decided it was best to get this out of the way. SW insisted on a meeting.  We also have a date arranged to meet BM and BD, separately as they are no longer together. Apparently BD has said he wants to meet us but SW is not sure he will actually turn up! LO up at 2am, 4am and 6am this morning so not a great night! x


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## becs40

Good luck Loki you'll be fine!


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## Kylie47

Good luck today Loki!

Pyjamas hope LO slept better last night. I can imagine the meetings with FC, BM and BD will fill you with anxiety ... best to get them over and done with as you say. Just remember that LO is your child now, and nothing is going to change that   x


----------



## Loki Girl

Just a little post to say we did it!!!!! It was a unanimous yes and thrilled to say our little pink is ours. 

I have a huge range of emotions happening and after 5yrs of heartache just can't believe we finally have our happy ending. I never thought it would be us. Finally luck is on our side and I'm going to cherish every minute of being a Mummy!!!

Love to you all and I am mindful of those of you that are waiting and have been waiting for a long time. I will be here to congratulate you when it's your turn cus I know you will all make it. 

Just have to relax for a week before all the introductions start. Luckily Whitsun is a busy time for the farm so will have enough to keep me occupied lol. 

Thank you for all your support leading upto this moment and hoping I can continue to support you all in your journeys


----------



## Kylie47

A massive congratulations Loki!!   

Wonderful news - hope you're cracking open the fizz tonight, you deserve it!! 
Xx


----------



## Kylie47

Agh sorry about the silly emoticon with expletives coming out its mouth, must have clicked on that one by accident!!


----------



## Primmer

Loki - that's great news, so pleased for you, congratulations


----------



## teamug

Whoop Whoop ! Yay Congratulations Loki, fandabbydosey ! bet you are feeling amazing ! well done look forward to hearing all about the intros when do they start where you given the time table today ? so pleased for you


----------



## pringle

Congratulations Loki


----------



## Forgetmenot

Loki, such great news.  Brought genuine tears to my eyes.  So pleased for you.... A mummy at last.  You and your DH and Loki girl herself deserve a beautiful family.  I know you will treasure the prevelidge for all of your days (as we all do) and look forward to hearing your next adventures xx


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## Lorella

Massive congrats xxx


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## becs40

Fab news Loki! Massive congrats!
Just one thing though it's not your "happy ending" it's the beginning of your "happy ever after"!


----------



## StarryEyed

Massive congrats Loki! I'm still lurking around as its nice to hear how you are all getting on. I hope you don't mind!


----------



## liveinhope

Congratulations Loki


----------



## Tw1nk82

Congrats loki xx


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## Loki Girl

Aww ladies thank you so much for all your congrats. It means an awful lot. We have only had 1 congratulations on a board and that turned into my ectopic pregnancy so knowing this is like a BFP but that's there is no shadow of a doubt is sticking and soon our little girl will be home is an amazing feeling. Still can't quite believe it tho lol!!

Becs that's a lovely sentiment and def true thank you


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Loki - I cried when I read your post!!! I'm overjoyed and so pleased your dream is really becoming a reality. 

We've shared this path for awhile now, the lows and now the highs.

Well done Hun.

X


----------



## Sweetnats

Massive congrats Loki x


----------



## Tw1nk82

Hope everyone is ok. We have been told that we have been chosen for a little boy and that they want to come and see us in a couple of weeks time. I cant believe it after waiting for what seems ages. My emotions are all over the place at the minute xxx


----------



## Ozzycat

Loki amazing amazing news.. massive congratulations x
Tw1n... wow  amazing... Please gd this little one becomes ur little boy x yeah xxx


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## becs40

Ah Twink fantastic news, fingers crossed for you! 

I've been feeling very emotional for a couple of days (probably due to time of the month!) but last night giving our little man his bedtime bottle with him sat cuddled up to me it all came from nowhere! I felt completely overwhelmed that his bm couldn't or wouldn't change for this absolutely amazing little person. I felt so sad for him. I'm just more and more in love with him everyday, his personality is coming out in bucket loads now and the last few sw visits (inc hv and life story book worker) he has just really played to them all and shown them how special he is. I'm utterly exhausted and ashamed to say I have no where near enough energy to do everything so he gets my energy and everything else goes by the wayside. When we started out on this journey I knew we would become a family but as we went through the process all the "glitter" if you like seemed to be stripped from it. It was all made to seem such doom and gloom that whatever child you adopt it would always be different and we were made to think we couldn't have "normal". Maybe that's the right approach I don't know but it nearly put me off sometimes thinking what were we signing up for. We have our amazing little man now and he is absolutely perfect in every way and life is very normal. Who knows what it will be like in 2,5 or even 10 years time but that's no different to a birth child.


----------



## Ozzycat

Thanku so much for that becs. . For awhile now I've been doubting myself and wondering if I'm upto dealing with an "adopted" child.... The social workers and the training days make it all so scary.. so thanku its restored my faith x


----------



## becs40

I'm so emotional and sentimental at the moment it's ridiculous but he really is incredible! The sheer joy he's brought is beyond words. We have our ao hearing soon and it's of course worrying. Dh keeps saying it's not our luck to have a baby do perfect so it's going to go wrong then but I have to believe that he was the beginning of our luck changing.
I'm sat here amongst 300 ballpit balls that he emptied when he turned the ballpit over (3rd time today lol!), a box of 150 mega blocs that he's emptied out and he's sat here enjoying a bit of bodg on CBeebies before bath time.
I don't doubt that even those with their struggles feel immensely lucky to have their lo's in their lives as well. It's absolutely the best thing we have ever done or will ever do.


----------



## Ozzycat

Twink there's something in the water... I emailed our sw to ask if it was ok to book holiday for July. .. shes just replied saying not to book anything yet as she's looking at a couple of potential links for us and she'll let us know on Tuesday after the  managers meeting eeeeeeeekkkkkkk!!!!!


----------



## Tw1nk82

Becs it is so lovely to read your stories and that you do have your happy ending. I cant believe when we first messaged nearly 18 months ok that it would have come to this xxxx

Ozzy fantastic news lets hope we have started some good luck vibes off xxx


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## Kylie47

Wow such lovely news on here at the moment!
Twink and Ozzycat - sounds very promising indeed, keeping my fingers crossed these links are your children!!  
Becs - your posts are so lovely to read, your little boy sounds divine, and you sound like a brilliant mummy. I'm sure your ao will go well, your LO is meant to be your son xx


----------



## Barbados Girl

Yay Twink and Ozzy! Keep us posted.

Know what you mean, Becs. It was like Pixie spent his first six months or so learning to trust us and rely on us. Now it is like he is falling in love with us- hugs, kisses, smiles, eye contact all the time. It is just heart melting. Love it!


----------



## becs40

I know Twink I thought the same thing earlier! Last June we were half way through our assessment wondering how long it would take for us to find our child, what age would they be etc and this June we will be celebrating his first birthday after already experiencing so many firsts with him, his first solids, his first Christmas, first tooth, crawling, first word and now standing. It really doesn't seem possible.

Ozzycat fingers crossed for you too. It's lovely to see some more matches being made and new mummies coming along.


----------



## Lorella

Twink and Ozzycat - that's so exciting! Am so pleased for you both. Let's all keep everything crossed. 

Becs - ahhhh! It's great isn't it. Our daughter is flippin amazing! We love her to absolute bits and can honestly say we forget she's adopted half the time! She really is perfect. We are currently on our first family holiday just the 3 of us and she has gone down in her travel cot every night without a peep. She is truly amazing. I too feel quite emotional just writing this. 

Keep going ladies. Your happy ever after is just around the corner xxx


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## Loki Girl

Yay Twink and Ozzy - so so happy to read your posts. It's the most amazing feeling isn't it being told you are being considered. Twink really hope this little guy is the one. You've lost out on too many now. I think this little one is finally going to be yours!!! Can't wait to hear your updates. 

Got our matching certificates yesterday woo hoo!!!! Even tho everyone knows it's the official bit for handing in your notice isn't it. Going to miss it tho looking forward to taking the little ones to the farm and enjoying the other side lol. 

Becs that was a super update. If we get our little guy we will see first birthday and first steps and lots of other exciting things although last we heard our little pink wasnt quite walking so maybe we will see her first steps too lol. Either way can't wait!!!!

Lorella - enjoy your holiday. I can imagine it being amazing just being a normal family what so many people take for granted. Love your updates too.


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## Paulapumpkin

Twinks & Ozzy - fantastic news!!

Becs - thanks for your post, I'm sure most of us wonder if we are going to have a 'normal' family feeling. My friend has adopted a baby boy and honestly he is adorable and they look so natural together.

Loki - glad the matching certs have arrived, do you start intros on Monday or Tuesday?

Lorella - enjoy your holiday, love hearing your updates.

AFM - our SW is coming out next Tuesday. We've declined the profiles we've been sent so far, sibling groups and baby boy. Various reasons including location of birth family and background to difficult. We are feeling a bit flat at the mo, our SW has reiterated the fact not many kids coming through and lots of approved adopters. We are in that limbo stage and family keep asking if we've got any updates. I know it's going to happen so we've got to be patient.

Trying to focus on getting sorted at home, we've nearly done all the renovations.

Have a good bank holiday weekend.

Xxxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Paula - sorry to hear none of the profiles worked out for you. Hope it won't be too much longer before the right one comes along. If they are not right tho it's right to say no. 

Our introductions don't start till Mon. This week the foster carers are preparing her with our photos and DVD and talking photo album. Can't believe today was the first time she would of seen a pic of her mummy and daddy!!! We've got the schedule now and it's pretty full on. I know it has to be done but feeling a little apprehensive about spending so much time in the foster carers house. Will I feel like they are judging me, will they think we are good enough for the little girl they have been fostering for 14mths!!!! So many thoughts in my head. I know she's ours but still feel like will be judged by foster carers and social workers still lol. Just need to concentrate on the fact in 6 days we get to meet our daughter for the 1st time and she is the most important. Any tips to get through it would be much appreciated tho lol!!! They are going to let us know how our little boy's hearing goes as well so fingers crossed we get good news for that a week Fri!!

It was lovely on Sun all the workers on the farm got together and presented me with a lovely photo frame for our little ones pictures and a huge goody bag for our little girl. She was very much spoilt with doll, teddy, stuffed farm animals, farm books and farm puzzle. Hope she likes animals lol!!!! They had all done a card and I was completely overwhelmed as never thought I would be in this position. Only 2 more days of work left!!! 

I have a practical question for those of you that have had their little ones placed. Can we apply for child benefit? Online it says we need their birth certificate but we wouldn't have that would we? What have you ladies done? 

Hope everyone ok and profiles start to come I and we have some more links going ahead.


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## snapdragon

Yes you can apply for child benefit.  It can be backdated a few months so you don't need to rush the moment lo comes home. There is info on the gov site of what to do.


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## becs40

Loki you'll be fine, I was the same about being with little mans foster carers. Our intros were only 4 days so they were really long but his foster mum made us so welcome it was fine. After the first day she was around but busy doing her own thing elsewhere which was great.
I know you can claim cb but don't know how unfortunately as we don't qualify so haven't looked into it.


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## Nicola30

Hi Loki!

Congratulations on your impending arrival ❤

Firstly, as much as anyone tells you not to be nervous about being in someone else's house, and feeling judged etc, you will still feel it - although hopefully all of your anxieties will disperse when you get going with intros. We found our foster carers just left us to it, they stayed in the room for about 75% of day one and on day 2 they just left us alone and stuck their heads in regularly to see if we wanted a cuppa.
Baby Chops knew they were only outside of the door but she soon settled with us. If for any reason they did come in the room she would make a beeline for them and they would apologise to us but it wasn't their fault. By day 4 we were going out for little spells on our own and she took to changes like a pro. 

Just try to relax and remember they are there to help you, through people like us it allows them to do what they do best and they will have a nice new space for a new child who they can shower with affection.

Re: child benefit. You should find that someone (in our case foster carer) has been claiming child benefit for your child already, and so in that instance a birth certificate is not needed.  When you complete the form it will ask for the details of who was claiming before, and it's only for new claims that a cert is needed. And you are entitled to it from the day they move home.

I filled in the paperwork as best I could and sent it off, and the CB office called me just to clarify a couple of details and just said fine, we've just had our first back dated payment (I'm a millionaire - not) so it will at least buy her the 7 pairs of shoes I think she needs hahaha xxx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Paula hope you find your lo soon. The waiting sucks xxx

Loki so exciting i bet you cant wait xxx

Both sws are on leave this week so still waiting to find out when our meeting will be with them. Dont know if im tempting fate but bought nursery furniture at the weekend as it was in the sale. Hope everyone else is doing ok xxxx


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## Loki Girl

Thanks for replies ladies. That makes sense Nicola re the child benefit so thanks for that and thanks for advice bout introductions. I know it's their job but guess it's that feeling of always being judged about what kind of parent you will be. Guess u can thank the adoption process for that one lol. 

Becs that's good you only had 4 days we have 9!!! But would rather little one be totally happy and ready to move in. Also have to factor in introducing her to the Loki dog as well and also making sure we give Loki plenty of attention too. She has been our baby for 5yrs but thankfully she's very good and not too spoilt    

Tw1nk go for it. I started buying stuff too. If they have linked you they must think it's good match so as long as you are happy with all the info although I did find more things once they bought the CPR that they hadn't mentioned before but nothing that we felt we couldn't cope with. Exciting isn't it?!!!


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## becs40

Twink we bought loads of stuff before and was worried about tempting fate but had to tell myself it was now going to happen. I tried really hard at that point to ditch all my superstitions! It's worked out great for us and I have to say we've got some really expensive bits for little man but paid a fraction for them. We got £300 off the buggy, £200 off car seat and we bought a stokke change table off eBay for £100 instead of new for £385.

Loki 9 days yikes! I think ours were so short because little man was only 6 months but also because it meant he moved in 6 days before Xmas instead of even closer to Xmas. Our dog has been utterly amazing with little man, exceeded our expectations in bucket loads! She is a rescue dog and was very stressed and extremely nervous when she arrived 4 years ago and has settled really well. We were worried when little man arrived it would upset her and unsettle her but she completely adores him. She's right beside him at any opportunity. For the most part he ignores her as she just gets in his way according to him but sometimes he'll grab a handful of hair and try and sit on her and she just lays there. I still wouldn't leave them alone but that's because I fear for her rather than him!


----------



## becs40

I'm also glad we had bought everything and were organised as we had less than 24hours notice of it all definitely going ahead in the end. We got the call at 11.00am and had to go into the offices to do all the paperwork then sort out our own works. Intros started at 9.00am the following day.


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## -x-Lolly-x-

Hi everyone! Congratulations on all the new families and the exciting times for those getting linked and matched! I love it! Just a quick one about child benefit... Little pink's FCs never claimed but we were given two copies of birth certificate in our planning meeting on day 1 of introductions. I think when you submit paperwork for adoption order you also need the original certificate hence being given two. However child benefit were really good and the certificate sent was returned within about a week. It's nice as we now have a copy for little pink when she's older. Best of luck everyone xxx


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## Ozzycat

OMG we have just found out we've been linked to a young little one...!!!
He or she has their final placement hearing next week but the social workers believe an adoption order will be granted and everyone thinks we'd make a good match and want to explore it...
Weve asked not to know anything about he or she yet as I don't want to fall in lov yet but we should know by the end of next week!!!!
Trying not to get excited just in case but... OMG!!!!!


----------



## Tw1nk82

Ozzy that is fantastic news fingers crossed xxx


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Fantastic Ozzy!!!! Xxx


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## becs40

Fab news Ozzy! Fingers crossed for the placement order (adoption order is the one where the child legally becomes yours and changes name etc). We were linked with our little man 4 months before his placement order, there were delays along the way and his final hearing was adjourned for a week in the end. However once it was granted we started our intros the next day!


----------



## Loki Girl

Yay Ozzy - lovely to read your post. I know you are being sensible not wanting any info at this stage but bet you are dying with curiosity tho    I know when our SW sent us an email saying she had children to discuss and DH didn't set a date with her to come till a week later I just about died with all the delicious possibilities I was imagining hahaha!!!! Can't wait to hear your update  

Well we had more excellent news today. Our SW called me at work to tell us that the birth parents weren't contesting little blue's adoption and were just happy the 2 were being adopted together which is what they wanted so it's now official little blue has had his order granted and is 100% all ours!!!!! Can't quite believe it. They were always so sure but there was always that niggly doubt in my mind lol. So no stopping us now. Can concentrate on bringing our little girl home, get her settled then can bring little blue home and our family will finally be complete and together


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Has anyone used Adoption Link?


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## Paulapumpkin

Brillant news Loki about little blue, it's all coming together nicely.

Are you planning anything over the weekend before intros on Monday?

X


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## Lorella

Great news Ozzycat and Loki! Xxx


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## Forgetmenot

Such wonderful news Loki and very much deserved xx


----------



## becs40

Loki fabulous news! That will hopefully be the same for ao too for you then! Amazing! Thrilled for you, so exciting.

Paula I'm only just registered on it to find play dates so not used it for looking for a child.


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## Forgetmenot

Good news ozzycat x fingers crossed x


----------



## Tw1nk82

Just heard from our social worker. LO social worker is coming to visit us on the 9th. I cant believe this is finally happening xx


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## Loki Girl

Awww Tw1nk - absolutely fab news. U'll be seeing his pic for the 1st time as we have the review meeting to see if our little girl is ready to come home hahaha. Exciting times!!!!


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## Paulapumpkin

Fantastic Twink!!!! X


----------



## Primmer

Ozzycat - sounds really hopeful, will keep everything crossed for you!

Twink - exciting! Good luck with sw visit. 

LokiGirl - sounds like it's all happening!! So pleased for you x

We heard last night that 3yr old pinks sw and manager want to visit us on 12 June. We are really pleased that they want to meet us but think we are being cautious after last link falling through.


----------



## liveinhope

Great news Primmer, lets hope this is your time


----------



## Tw1nk82

Primmer  this is it xxx


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Primmer fab news xxx


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Good luck with intros tomorrow Loki xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Awe thanks Paula. I think she will seem a bit more real tomorrow after we meet her cus it still all feels a bit surreal to me lol!!

They gave me a great sending off at the farm on Fri. They tied me to a chair, carried me to the car park and then got pelted with eggs, covered in flour, then had molasses poured on me then covered in feathers!!!!!! The smell was horrible and had to go to the pub after lol!!! It's tradition tho so had to grin and bear it lol. It was all fun tho. 

Anyways will let u know how intros go


----------



## Ozzycat

Loki sooooo excited for you x
can't wait to read ur updates x


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## Tw1nk82

Good luck tomorrow loki so excited for you xxxx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Good luck meeting your precious baby girl tomorrow xx


----------



## becs40

Have fun today Loki and enjoy every precious second. It's been a long road to get here but today is the day you become a family. 😍


----------



## Freedo

Hi all, well first of all I must apologise for not posting in what seems like for ever!  Time has flown by its 10 weeks today since we meet our princess and 9 weeks tomorrow she moved in, things are going great, better than great really. She is currently having a nap in the cot so I just had shower and jumped back in bed by 5 to post this!!we are off to play group in a bit we go to three a week which she loves! We have had our first experience with a bug and projectile vomiting! Stinking colds and temperature! We had a first review a few weeks ago and the independent chair said she was going to recommend that we apply for AO after the minimum 10 weeks , so will be putting in week Tuesday!! I just feel so blessed to have her she is amazing, those of you waiting hang in there it is so worth it in the end. Loki good luck today. I will promise to try and post more!! xxxxx


----------



## Primmer

Loki - good luck meeting your little girl today, can't wait to read all about it later.

Freedo - lovely to hear from you and so pleased that all seems to be going so well, sounds amazing!


----------



## Lorella

Loki - enjoy today x

Freedo - lovely to hear all going well. It's awful when they are ill isn't it. LO teething at mo and currently napping with temp of 98.3.......it's such a worry x


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## becs40

Ah freedo how wonderful (minus the projectile vomiting of course! Although we had projectile diarrhoea during happy change  on Xmas day so that was a novelty!). We too applied as soon as we could so just waiting for our first hearing as it's taken 4 months to get a date!😔

Lorella we have had 2 nights from hell with little man who has molars coming through as well as a very bad cold followed by constipation from calpol yesterday! Consequently he barely slept Saturday night, was so overtired yesterday barely slept during the day. Last night was better in that after 11pm it wasn't horrendous but until then we'd had 2 x 40 minute sessions of inconsoleble screaming (only way we found to calm him down after trying everything was YouTube nursery rhymes on iPad which had him transfixed!). Thankfully today he slept for nearly 3 hours this am and 50 mins this afternoon and is a much happier baby!


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## Lorella

Ah Becs my sympathies. LO has 4 back teeth coming through at same time - one in each gum! They've been coming through for last couple months but reckon they must be on their last push! Consequently we have non eating, lots of spitting out of favourite foods and last night she was in our bed as woke up very upset. We didn't really mind as that's what she needed but she would insist on snuggling right up to me so she could keep touching my hand to check I was still there bless her. DH had loads of room! She had 2 hr nap today, a yoghurt for lunch and has managed a little bit of waffle and fish cake. Temp still up. Calpol tonight and fingers crossed she stays in own bed tonight x


----------



## becs40

Ah bless it's awful isn't it. His temp has gone today thank god as was very worrying yesterday 103! 😥
I wish he would settle in our bed but he wouldn't he'd just climb over us and start trying to play with anything he could reach. We had another meltdown tonight just as he was on the verge of sleep, I guess that's when he's relaxed and suddenly realises it hurts. We've tried ambesol tonight and he's off for now so fingers crossed for a better night. I went into boots today and bought every teething remedy they had just to cover all bases! Worryingly the assistant said they could all be used together! 😱 pretty sure we won't be trying that though!


----------



## Loki Girl

Well I cant describe how amazing yesterday was meeting our daughter for the 1st time. She is gorgeous but maybe I am biased   She is such a lovely sociable little girl. She was a little shy but she had big beaming smiles from behind her FC. After awhile she came round and we both had a play with her and she was loving it. Just couldn't get used to being referred to as Mummy and Daddy by the FC's tho!!!

We have a long day today we are going 10.30 till bedtime but her bedtime isn't till 8.30!!! I think this is too late but it's the routine they have her in so the routine we need to stick to for a while. But hoping we can change it to going down a bit earlier so me and DH have a bit of an evening lol. FC's are nice. Quite a bit older but nice we will get on. They gave us the start of things to start bringing home and not sure where we are putting it all!!!! Some of the toys they gave us are way too young for her so are we supposed to keep them because these are what she came with? I'm going to leave some out obviously for when she visits here but I'm thinking she surely can't be playing with these at 18mths lol!!!

The other thing we don't like and wondered what you other ladies were told. We have been told we can't introduce any family members for 4-6 weeks!!! We feel this is quite a long time and grandparents will be going crazy lol. We kind of argued that all through the process we were told how important the support network is yet they expect me to be on my own every day for the next 6 weeks   We also argued well if they wanted us to do that in 6 weeks we would be getting little blue and would they then insist we can't see them for another 6 weeks which is ridiculous!! We thought LO would be ready to meet for my dad's birthday mid July but that doesn't look possible according to them. Also it's my birthday beginning July so will my parents have to sneak a present round when little pink in bed? It just doesn't make sense. We walk Loki twice a day and meet lots of people who know little pink is coming. How will this be different to us meeting our parents for a walk as long as they don't go overboard? 

Everything we have been told from the FC is that she is such a sociable little girl, she loves going out, loves seeing people and gets upset when people don't notice her so how is it going to help her me keeping her in the house and away from people  

It was our family finder telling us all this but she is a bit old school. Our social worker is a lot more understanding and when basically said don't worry they will look into it so hopefully she is more on our side. 

Anyways grumbling aside just looking forward to getting to know our little girl better. 

Hope some of you had better nights sleep and good luck to those waiting for profiles etc.


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## Tw1nk82

Loki lovey to hear your update. Hope today goes well xx


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## Gertie5050

Hello Loki Girl,

Just wanted to say we didn't wait 4-6 wks before we introduced our little man to family members in fact it was within a few days of him been at home with us. we checked with his FC and SW and they could not see any problems as like your little girl he loved been around people and to be honest if there was no way we could have kept him away from grandparents and family members for that long anyway lol.  He has now been at home for 18 wks and it hasn't effected him at all.

Hope this helps 

Gertie xx


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## Nicola30

Hi Loki,
So pleased day 1 went so well.
Our girl was 15 months when we started intros, and she has settled amazingly well.

Re: the toys. Keep them all out to start with and just make a note of what she plays with regularly. Our girl has "grown up" so much in 3 months it's unreal. We took her to toys R us with money/vouchers we received and she chose her own doll, smart trike and a sweeping brush lol. They are the things she plays with most so I boxed up her babyish stuff and put it away in the garage till I can decide what to do with it.

Meetings parents should be something you decide. Once you get home I would give it a few days at least of just being you in your environment and don't let anyone else in. You will get a feel from her when she is ready, we allowed both sets of grandparents to visit for half an hour the first week we were home ans by week 2 we were having daily visits. Our little girl was used to being in a busy house with lots of comings and goings so she wasn't fazed by it, but to start with she would be shy and stay on my knee which was reassuring that she saw me as "Mammy" and that I was safe to her.

Every child is different, but probably at her age, if she is anything like my bubbly little monkey was she will take it all in her stride. 

we just never told social workers what our intro plans were, and at our 6 week review the IRO asked if she had met family yet and we said yes but played it down. We know our girl so well now, I know when she has had enough, when she is feeling grumpy, when she can't be bothered with people and when she just needs Mamma cuddles and no visitors.

Enjoy this week because let me tell you, a 15 month old is like a whirlwind once they get settled haha xxx


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## Belliboo

Loki we accidentally on purpose bumped into family members in neutral places is when walking the dog in the park , it's unnatural to not see people for 6 weeks it's just being mindful of being sensible & not letting people overtake your cares , just sensible things like making sure you & your husband are the only ones doing all cares feeding ,doing bedtimes, nap times  changing nappies or holding little ones , comforting little one so they know who main care givers are, our little one was placed just before Christmas & we visited family members so short small visits were ok for us xx


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## notgivingup

Congrats Loki. Sounds like a lovely time meeting your first LO. I echo what others have said re meeting family. Our youngest  is 2 and only came home a month ago. We closed ranks for the first week so they could settle and get used to home and us then asked grandparents round on the condition it was for half and hour at a time kids are free to play so if they weren't interested there was no pressure. Fortunately the kids took to them like a duck to water and it was amazing time for everyone. We gradually increased the time grandparents stayed each time they/we visited.  We had given all family the book 'before I arrive' to read which really helped them understand the need for us to be the carers and be prepared for rejection and little ideas for them such as putting photos of the kids in their house for when they visit to feel a belonging.  We did have a few days where kids were a little unsettled and just closed ranks again.  After a few weeks, we REALLY needed the people in our support network, not least for some adult conversation! Go with your gut instinct when LO is home - you will soon get a feel for what is right. Enjoy the rest of your intros! 

Freedo - glad things are going well for you. 

Twink & primmer - good luck with getting more info. Hope this is your time 

As a for us, a month in, little pink has started half days at school which is great because she loves it and I get some 1-1 time with little blue and feel a little less house bound. We had our 1 month review which went well but was more formal than I expected! Just couldn't have asked for kinder, beautiful, clever kids and people comment on them when out and about all the time.  It's the best but strangest feeling when they people say 'they look like you'!! If only they knew!   just need some sunshine and warm weather now.


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## Lorella

Hey Loki Girl

We also accidentally on purpose bumped into grandparents in the park first wk. Then second week accidentally on purpose bumped into the aunties and uncles! We would of gone stir crazy not seeing anyone for 6 wks. We did keep first wk just us and then slowly started introducing the family and then friends. It's just important that your little girl knows that you are her mum and noone else, that's why they say you do all the personal care. That's one thing we made sure we did. 

Re. Toys they may seem babyish to you but maybe some are like a security blanket in some ways to your daughter so yes see what ones she plays with and then box others up. I've kept everything from FC ( but there wasn't a lot!). 

So pleased it's gone well xx


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## ClaireDa

Congrats Loki hope its all going well x


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## becs40

Ah fab Loki so pleased! Not sure I can really comment on family thing as ours was a totally unreal situation! As he was placed 6 days before Xmas and fil is on his own there was no way we could not be with family on Xmas day. We had Xmas lunch at my parents, we popped in to theirs for an hour on Xmas eve so he'd met them then Xmas day I walked over at nap time so he slept for half the time we were there. We had Xmas lunch while he was asleep then stayed for a couple of hours when he woke up. We did ensure it was only us holding him, changing him and feeding him in fact that was the case until about a month ago. We also went to visit other people rather than them come to us for a couple of months so our house it was just the 3 of us.


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## Lorella

Becs - 103!!! That would freak me out. I was worried at 98.3! Hope teething remedies work. LO's temp nearly back down now and she's eating crisps so that's a good sign! X


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## becs40

Yep I was taking his temp every 15 minutes! If it had gone to 104 we were heading straight to the walk in centre. Fortunately he seems absolutely fine now apart from the fact that as mum was babysitting Saturday evening before all this started, he woke about 9pm poorly. She then decided to bring him downstairs so every night since then when we go to put him to bed we have massive screaming fits. At first I thought it was teeth again but then last night dh was out so I had to resort to putting little man down on the floor whilst I ran down to go and get the ambesol. The second I put him on the floor he stopped so knew then it wasn't teeth it was temper! Had the same thing tonight. Took 45 mins to get him down. We had one round of screaming then managed to calm him down then just as he couldn't fight sleep anymore we went back to square one! I just held him and carried on rocking him but ignored it and didn't speak, within 2 mins he'd stopped and within 5 mins was asleep. It's so annoying after the months we've spent getting his sleep sorted and we were actually getting somewhere and now this.   I'm just hoping now he knows we'll ignore it he'll settle back down to normal quickly. 
We never ever take him downstairs when he wakes it just sends out the wrong message, we have taken him into our room to calm him but never downstairs that's for playtime! He's got to that age now where he's starting to assert himself and test the boundaries and boy does he let us know he doesn't like something or being told no!


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## Lorella

Yes Becs one thing I've found is that routine is a must with us and when it's broken it does set things back. 

I did try one thing tonight the HV suggested. I hadn't wanted to do it before as didn't think it would work but was totally amazed it did. LO wasn't settling in cot so instead of taking her out and bringing her downstairs for bit longer I lay her back down in cot and then lay on the floor and said 'sleep time night night'. Well within the minute she's stopped crying and was going off to sleep! Had to then quietly snake out of there which was a bit trickier! So will be doing that from now on! X


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## becs40

I've tried that and he does usually stop crying but then stands up in his cot to see what's going on, he's very very nosey lol! Oh well we'll have to see if tomorrow is any better, if not its daddy's  turn Thursday as I take the dog swimming for a bit of adult time lol!


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## Loki Girl

Just wanted to say thank u for all your advice ladies. I def felt better and decided not to worry about it and just see how LO settles and take it from there. Short visits seem a good way to go tho   I sorted her things and what I thought she might of come with from her birth parents with will store for her and every bring else will just keep for awhile and see what she plays with. It's difficult at home cus they don't put anything out for her to play with and just have CBeebies on all the time. Can't decide if that's the norm or they have packed up a lot of her toys!!! Because her birth parents are still having contact with baby blue until Fri and they knew the 2 children were having contact they apparently kept bringing things for little pink although FC's told them they didn't need to so really don't know what they had bought. 

Yesterday was brill. The FC really took a step back, kept leaving the room (tho the foster dad is better at pushing to do that than the mom lol!!) LO wasn't worried in slightest as long as we were paying her attention lol. We went off for a walk with foster dad and he took himself off for a walk while we played with her on the swings and she was fine. Later on we took her out for a walk on our own and she was fine, we put her shoes and coat on and she left the house with us without batting an eyelid. Everyone was saying for the 2nd day they were really pleased. 

Early 7.30 start today to observe breakfast routine and we get to take her to the park on our own which will be nice. Will really feel like a family!!! Got afternoon and evening to ourselves so going to treat ourselves to a nice dinner and a movie later


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## Troodles

Hi all

So sorry I've not been about but as you can imagine life with 2 lovely boys is manic!!! Lol

I've missed so much and just spent some of my precious time reading through all your posts.  Such lovely news. So happy for you all. Twink, Ozzy, Loki, Primmer and anyone I've missed. So nice to see so many dreams coming true. We all deserve this!!

Becs hope your LO is better now and lots and lots of
Love to you all xxxx


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## Lorella

Becs - I thought LO would stand up too but she just lay down and did a few moans and then went to sleep!! I couldn't believe it! She is very placid though 

Loki - I remember our first day out. It was the best day ever! Enjoy Hun xx


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## Ozzycat

OMG. .. ive just seen a picture of what might be my little girl!!!!!!
Our sw called this afternoon and LO was given the placement order at court and so called immediately to tell me LO's sw wanted to meet us as soon as possible.
Weve just read the CPR and cried at her photo... shes a little 6.5month old pink... I can't even begin to explain how lucky and excited we feel.. and slightly terrified!!
We'll read and re-read the report over the weekend and then hopefully next week we can't start the ball rolling.. I'm amazed at how quickly this has happened and so grateful that finally after 5yrs of heartbreak I might be a  mummy soon      xxxx
big hugs and love to everyone else xx


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## Loki Girl

Just a quickie as we have an early start but Ozzy so so excited for you. I remember the feelings well. It is amazing isn't it!!!! Beautiful age as well. Sounding like she is the one for you. Exciting times.


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## Tw1nk82

Fantastic news ozzy so exciting xxxx

Loki hope its all going well xxx

Hope everyone else is doing good xxxx


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## Troodles

Oh wow that's amazing Ozzy. So pleased for you. 

Hi all. Hope you're all well xxx


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## ultrafirebug

Hi, mind if I join you? We have just started the process for foster for adoption/adoption. First prep meeting in a few weeks. Looking forward to getting to know you all and reading about your journeys x


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## Lorella

Ozzycat - that is so so exciting!! I am thrilled for you. It's all go from here! That's how it started with our little pink at a similar age! Soooo lovely xx

Welcome Ultrafirebug xx


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## ultrafirebug

Thanks Lorella. 

Ozzycat- just read your post. Wonderful news. So happy for you x


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## Tw1nk82

Welcome ultrafirebug   xxx


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## Primmer

Ozzy - that's great news and all happening superfast! do keep us updated!

Ultrafirebug - welcome to the thread x


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## pringle

Great news Ozzycat     

Welcome Ultrafirebug    

Xx


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## Paulapumpkin

Ozzy that is fantastic news!!!

Loki can't for your next update, hope intros are going well.

Hi to everyone else, have a good weekend.

X


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## Loki Girl

Well things going well and really enjoying getting to know little one and seeing the change in her now when she recognises us. Best thing yesterday was she kept looking through my photos on my phone and asking for Mummy!!! I know it's just a name to her but it sounds fab to me    I was a bit put out yesterday because we had put her down for a nap at the foster carers house and when she woke up we went to get her. She was a bit teary but I put her on my lap and gave her a cuddle which she was ok but was still crying a bit, within a couple of seconds the foster mother came took her off me and took her off down garden   The foster dad said oh we do that when she's upset and it seems to work so I thought well why didn't you let me have a go then? But anyways she was fine and we took her out for lunch which was fab just being a proper little family, after took her to park and I got my first proper cuddle in the sandpit - it felt the best thing ever just sitting there having cuddles with my little girl  

Today was first time she came to our house, foster carers didn't give her a nap before they came so she fell asleep in car so they wouldn't wake her up so sat outside in car till she woke up   finally came in and she was fine, explored with us even tho foster mother insisted on coming upstairs even tho little one was fine but we thought it's ok. They were supposed to leave at 4pm then at 3.50pm dropped the bombshell they weren't happy leaving little one here tomorrow as its the first time she is meeting our dog Loki!!!! The schedule was set 3 weeks ago, they didn't even voice any concerns during the planning meeting last week but now they have concerns?!! We didn't have Loki here today so she could explore the house without worrying about the dog so tomorrow they are supposed to stay for just a cup of tea and then leave and we don't take her back till 4pm. I am a bit annoyed they chose now to bring it up so we had no choice but to agree that we meet in the park rather than the our house then come back to house. We had already discussed maybe introducing little one to Loki in park before but they said no and now FC have changed all that. I am worried foster mother is going to say little one not ready or needs more time. Little one is fine with us and yes we may have to deal with some
upsets when she moves in but we are ready for that. Foster mother not keen on dogs and don't want this anxiety to rub off on little one. If she is a bit unsure tomorrow they won't want to leave her for us to deal with and that will set us all back!!! 

So not terribly happy today as now worried about tomorrow even tho seeing our little girl in our house was such a lovely thing. If I feel things not going well will have a word with our SW. Trying to be understanding as this is the longest child they have had placed with them and the oldest so they haven't had to deal with long introductions like this before. Oh well praying tomorrow goes ok  

Ozzy - u still on cloud 9 I bet    

Hello everyone else


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## becs40

Oh Loki that's awful. It sounds like she's struggling so I would be inclined to raise it with sw so their sw offers them more support! I'm sure lo will love Loki dog! Our lo had not been exposed to Pets of any form and he loves dogs, not so bothered by ours most the time but if he sees any others he always wants to make a beeline for them.
Hang in in there it will soon be a distant memory when you have your little family at home.


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## Loki Girl

Thanks Becs. Had a bit of a sleepless night night worrying but just praying that whatever it was she will be fine with Loki. Yesterday we were playing ball with her in the garden and she was loving throwing the ball - considering this is Loki's favourite thing to do we are hoping this will be the ice breaker of getting her to throw the ball for Loki.  Fingers crossed all goes swimmingly and the FC's can go home without worrying!!!!


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## Forgetmenot

Good luck with your two babies today x I am sure Loki girl will be fine x


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## Loki Girl

Phew thankfully all went well today. Meeting at park was fab and little one quickly realised what a great game throwing the ball for the dog was lol. She only cried when Loki was a bit close and 'threw' the ball back to her hitting her on the chin. But I quickly comforted her and everything was fine. FC's seemed happy so didn't stay long once back at house. She only cried a couple of times when Loki got a bit too close but it went as well as anybody could of hoped. We had little one till 4pm which was lovely but couldn't get her to go and take a nap. She had fallen asleep on me but by time I had got her upstairs she had woken and was awake crying. Left her for a bit but wasn't working and didn't want to freak her out on her 1st time staying for a nap with us. Just took her out in buggy later and she fell asleep in that so at least she wasn't tired when we took her back. It was just so nice. DH playing with her in sandpit, I put a bit of washing out it was just a lovely Sun. Didn't want to take her back lol!!!

Tomorrow we pick her up at 9am and don't take her back till 6.30pm and stay till she goes to bed so a busy full day tomorrow especially since they don't put her to bed till 8.30   Can't wait tho as the more time we spend with her the more it just feels natural she's ours. When we took her to park I stayed outside swings with Loki and she was waving to me then when DH and I swapped over she was waving to DH. It was just too cute


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## Ozzycat

Love reading ur updates loki, so pleased it's going well xxx
welcome ultrafirebug x
Hope everyone has had a lovely weekend x


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## becs40

Ah Loki fabulous news! It was our biggest worry too with our little man - that and would he be allergic to her! 

We've had the most lovely day today even though it started at 5.00am! As he was up so early it was nap time at 8.30 lol so we walked to my parents which is just under a couple of miles. It was beautiful, absolutely silent with bright blue skies and sunshine, birds flitting about, bunnies diving for cover and lambs and calves in the fields. I only saw 2 people the entire walk it was bliss. We left little man with granny and grandad and popped into town for last minute bits for our weekend at centre parcs next week. Then back just as lo was finishing his lunch so had a quick play and walked back home with him for his afternoon nap, again very peaceful! 
Then my parents came for a BBQ and when lo woke up he came in the hot tub for a splash around with my mum and I. (Sounds posh but it was an inflatable one we bought 4 years ago when we were saving for Ivf so weren't having a holiday that year!) he loved it anyway and we had a lovely time. I also managed to get a gigantic wooden playpen from our local for sale page for £30 so we put that outside for him so he can't crawl into any trouble! That and with the dog wasn't keen on letting him crawl around the grass so that's the perfect solution. 
So a really lovely family day all in all.


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## Loki Girl

Aww Becs what a beautiful sounding day. Can't believe just how the simplest family things sound so wonderful like a nice quiet family walk lol. I felt that yesterday just hanging out washing and watching DH play with LO. I'm going to make sure I take the time to cherish all these times cus I can imagine life getting so much busier once we are into groups and little man arrives lol


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## Lorella

Ah Loki and Becs you sound so happy. So pleased alls going well with you both. 

LO is now getting up at 5.30 quite regularly...yawn. I really struggle with it. Am about to get some black out blinds and hope this makes a difference. Not needed them until now. Anyone got any advice on best ones to get? Needs ones that don't attach to curtains xx


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## ultrafirebug

Loki and Becs - lovely to read your messages.
Lorella - search for gro black out blind. You can take them with you when you travel.

Hi to everyone. Hope you all get to enjoy the sunshine.

X

X


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## becs40

Well we have a blackout roller blind and blackout curtains but it still let's light in. The roller blind because it isn't flush to the window light gets in around the edges. We have the gro black out blind too and it's effective but it's a pain in the bum to put up and take down all the time! That and the fact some of the suckers come unattached and the whole thing falls down in the middle of the night! I think it's because it's so big to make it fit a variety of windows that if you have a fairly small window there's so much excess blind gathered up. 
I'm thinking of canabalising mine and chopping it to size but then removing the suckers and attaching Velcro around the edges and then on the window frame so it sits against the window but can be taken on and off in a second.
I have to say I'm not sure it's just the light factor of them waking so early as lo will sleep until 6 some days but 5 others when the light factor is the same.


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## ultrafirebug

I got self adhesive hook and loop and black out material from eBay and put it on DS curtains. Worked a treat x


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## Tw1nk82

Lovely to read all the updates. Im so nervous about tomorrow. How long after the meeting were people told that they were officially linked? We have been told that they certainly wont tell us at the meeting that they would have to go away and discuss. I hope it isnt a long time to wait xxz


----------



## Primmer

Twink - good luck for tomorrow, when we had our meeting for our blue it was on a thurs afternoon and they told us that we should discuss it between ourselves and they would discuss it and then on the Monday we would all confirmed we wanted to go ahead so not too long to wait. But I know all agencies work differently and so may have longer waits depending on who they need to discuss it with and their availability.


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## ChocolateCake

Hi everyone

We are attending matching panel this month. Just wondered if anyone at the same stage. im excited and nervous. also not sure what questions they will ask. Havnt met little one yet, cant wait


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## Tw1nk82

Thanks for the reply Primmer. They are coming at half ten tomorrow so hopefully we wont have to waut too long for the decision. I have cleaned the house ten times over and i am now having a wine hoping it helps me sleepxxx


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## notgivingup

Lorella. - we use easy blackout blind from Amazon. It's just a blackout sheet (cream coloured) you attach to the window frame using Velcro (supplied). It takes seconds to put up each night and stays put and completely blacks out the room. We can't even find the door so the kids have no chance! I thought it would be a pain to put it up every night but it's really enjoy say and so far 6weeks in, it's still going strong. Plus the kids love it when we rip it off in the morning and welcome the sunshine (most days!!) in! We also have blackout lining in the curtains incase we have missed any spot on the window.  I guess it depends on how big your window is as to how easy it is to use for you. I'm really fortunate to have good sleepers who don't rise till 7-7.30 and I'm sure the blackout helps cause it's their internal body clock which wakes then rather than the daylight. 

Twink- good luck. We were told we would have 48 hours to wait so everyone could take time to consider and discuss before being officially linked, but the meeting went so well it was agreed there and then and confirmed later that day. Hope it goes well for you!


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## Paulapumpkin

Good luck tomorrow Twink xxx


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## becs40

Good luck tomorrow Twink! Will have everything crossed for you, look how far you've come from those first tentative posts. 😀
Welcome chocolate cake, great name! I've just made one for my lo's birthday which is in the freezer ready for decorating after our hols.
Notgivingup that's exactly what I need although we have dunelm near here and they sell the blackout fabric so can pop in tomorrow and get some with a roll of Velcro! Was going to use the gro blind but only because I really like the fabric.
Well as mentioned we're on countdown to little mans first birthday so I've started his cake already (keen baker and like a challenge so needed to do something special for his 1st birthday!), it's going to be a 2 tier circus theme so I've made the top tier chocolate cake which will be the big top tent so that's in the freezer. Also started some of the models for it so far we have a lion, a monkey and an elephant so still a clown and a seal to go. I had a friend when I was growing up whose mum always made her a novelty birthday cake and ?I always remember how much we looked forward to seeing what she'd made each year. I really want that too for my little man.


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## Loki Girl

Good luck today Tw1nk!!!! Hope u don't have to wait too long for a decision!!!

Last day of intros for us today and our review meeting so hope everyone agrees little one is doing fab enough to move in tomorrow. Had an amazing but long day yesterday, little one not so compliant sometimes but we all agreed this is a good sign as means she is accepting us and not just going along with what we say cus she thinks she should. Took her back at 7.30 as told and even tho she had been up since 5.30 and only had an hour sleep they still wouldn't let us put her to bed till 8.45!!!! Can't wait to slowly change that routine lmao!!!! Had lots of kisses and cuddles too and in front of foster carers which was good cus they said how relaxed she looks with us. 

Welcome Chocolate Cake and good luck at panel. We got asked why these children, how would we cope with our evening activities (we teach taekwon do) how is DH's dad doing as he has terminal cancer and how would we manage with 2 little ones so close in age but that's all really.


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## Ozzycat

Good luck twink  xxxx


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## Tw1nk82

I think it went well. We got to see recent photos and a couple of videos. We were given a lot of information and we were asked a lot of questions. They have told us that they are hoping to give us the verdict on Thursday so not long to wait xxx


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## Loki Girl

Aww Tw1nk that's fab. Fingers crossed once you have read all the info you still feel they are the ones for you and they will be on their way home to to you   

Well today went fab. Review meeting really positive and all agreed placement day should remain for tomorrow. Can't believe tomorrow she will be home for good!!!! Mind you better enjoy cus in 6 weeks time we will be doing it all again for little blue   It was nice as little pink bought her photo album home and there were updated photos of baby brother so that was lovely as the only pic we have is from his profile when he was 5 weeks old!!! Lovely to have his 5mth old pic. He's certainly a big chap like his sister lol. Going to have huge biceps    

Will update when get chance and just praying she sleeps ok for her 1st night with us!!!


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## becs40

Twink fingers crossed for you! 

Ah Loki so excited for you! Welcome to the club of chunky bubbas! I can't tell you how much I look forward to the weekend when my poor arms and back get a rest with Daddy doing all the picking up and carrying! My lo is 26lbs now and I'm exhausted after our music for little people class which is 45 minutes of lifting him and swinging him etc!


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## Loki Girl

Haha going to be right there with you Becs. The more comfy she has got with us the more she wants picking up lol. Wondered why my shoulders had started aching     I think FC said she was about 28lb but at least she will walk when holding your hand so do get some respite lol. Hoping when she starts walking on her own she will burn some of it off lol!!!


----------



## Tw1nk82

Lovely update Loki im so glad it is all going well for you xxxx


----------



## becs40

Ha ha Loki and she's nearly 6 months older than little man and practically the same size! He is a giant! He could easily pass for 2 some days and that's when I get the looks of "ooh is he not walking yet?", uh no because he's not 1 yet (not for another week anyway lol!)


----------



## Tw1nk82

We are officially linked with panel in August. I am over the moon xxx


----------



## Ozzycat

Oh my gd I nearly cried when I read that twink... amazing amazing news yeahy xxxxxxx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Thank you Ozzy. It is exactly 12 months to the day we had our 1st visit with the sw and 6 months to the day we were at panel xxx


----------



## Ozzycat

We've just had a call and were meeting LO'S sw for the first time on Monday  eeeeekkkkkkkkk. ..
can anyone give me some advice on any questions she might ask us or questions we should be asking
Twink I might be racing u to matching panel  
xxx


----------



## Primmer

Yay twink that's great news!!!

We met with pinks SW and manager this afternoon, the meeting went well and they gave us a dvd of her which was lovely. They really brought her character to life when they spoke about her which really helped us. We will find out tomorrow morning if it's going to go ahead or not - fingers crossed!


----------



## Forgetmenot

Think awesome! Congrats x

Ozzy fingers crossed, exciting but scarey!

Primer, sounds positive if you got a DVD!! Good luck xx


----------



## becs40

Twink fabulous fabulous news!     

Suddenly a splurge of fab updates! Fingers crossed Primmer and Ozzycat!


----------



## Paulapumpkin

What fantastic news, I'm so chuffed for you ladies.

We've got a potential link for sibling group of 3 and another for a pink.

The little pinks SW has asked to read our PAR, she is out of area.

Our SW sent us the profile of the sibling group.

After reading a few profiles we felt excited that the ones this week have felt good and potential match.

I'm guessing our LA would prefer to match the sibling group which we approved for 

We are upbeat today


----------



## ChocolateCake

Hi Loki,

How exciting for you. I bet you are really enjoying your first day at home with your little one. congratulations. We have just finished decorating LO's bedroom today at 9pm  just finishing touches now. thanks for giving me an idea of questions for panel. Am nervous tho


----------



## Tw1nk82

Lots of exciting news on here at the moment. May it continue xxxx


----------



## Lorella

Great news Twink and Ozzycat!!

Fingers crossed Primmer and Paulaspumpkin. 

Thanks for all your advice on black out blinds. We put towels up to block out light to see if worth getting and if it's the light that's waking her up. First night slept an extra hour so thought yes! But now back to waking early!! Boo.....

xxx


----------



## Primmer

We are linked to a 3yr old pink with a provisional matching panel date at end of August


----------



## Tw1nk82

Congratulations Primmer fantastic news xxxxx


----------



## Ozzycat

Whoooooohooooooooo great news Primer xxx
have a lovely weekend ladies... so much exciting news x


----------



## Loki Girl

Yay what fab news Primmer so chuffed for you. It's an amazing feeling isn't it?!!! Aug will be here before u know it. 

Paula - exciting news too. What a decision 1 or 3    I think it is nice if the children are in house makes things a lot easier but you have to go with the ones you think will be the best for your family. Hope it all works out. 

Well we are loving family life!!! Little one has really settled in well. Went to bed fine, only woke us once the first night but I settled her after 10mins. She was up at 5 which was a bit of a shock to my system    But yesterday we got her in bed at 7.15pm and didn't hear a peep out of her till she woke up at 6am babbling away in her cot. FC's said she always wakes up crying so we were dead impressed she just woke herself up and was happy. She's been so lovely today and we are now both getting loads of hugs and kisses. It's lovely. It was so funny watching her try to do the actions to Let it Go from Frozen today. So cute. 

Heard that we will potentially start introductions for little blue on 4th Aug so not long before we will be doing it all again but having to make sure little pink is ok too lol. 

Loving things are happening for lots of you at mo and I will continue to keep everything crossed that everyone else finds there dream family soon


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Loki - great update. Your daughter sounds beautiful and it's great she had settled well at home. Not long until you bring your son home too!

Primmer - fab news, Aug will be here in no time.

Spoke to our SW today and she is so pleased we are interested in the sibling group. She has requested their SW visits us and she has a DVD for us. The two older ones really look like my hubby. The ages are great, 8,5 & 2. When we discussed taking 3 it was this exact scenerio, the older one will be deprecated from his sisters if a family not found. We said we couldn't let that happen. It feels very right!

Our heads are spinning at the mo, lots of questions and loads if talking.

I'm having a glass of wine tonight 

Have a good weekend everyone.

Xxx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Loki love the updates. You are doing fantastic and it wont be long until little blue is home too xx

Paula fantastic news about the sibling group. Hope your meeting goes well xxx

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend and enjoy the wine i know i will be xxxx


----------



## liveinhope

Great news Primmer


----------



## Lorella

Primmer - lovely news. 

Paula's - that is also so lovely to hear. 

Lokis - so pleased LO has settled well. We had a few weeks of getting to sleep on our bed and transferring and then falling asleep in arms and transferring so that's so great she's settled in her bed already. How old is she?

We are going for a photo session tomorrow! Exciting xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Wow Paula that sounds fab. We said same thing if there was an older sibling we couldn't say no. Our 2 have lots of half brothers and sisters all who have been adopted out already before ours came along. I wouldn't be surprised with BM history we wouldn't be offered another one in the distant future lol. 

Lorella yes we are very lucky the FC did do a great job with her and she generally sleeps through the night so was really pleased she was comfortable enough with us to sleep well. Hope it continues!!! She has just turned 18mths so a lovely age. She has lots of words and is talking more and more with us and she loves singing and rhymes. 

Ooh hope u get some lovely photos!!!


----------



## Lorella

Ah. Similar age to our LO now. Just gorgeous age. Our FC did amazing job too. LO would literally just be placed in cot and go off to sleep without a peep but when came to us took her a few weeks to adjust. Was a lovely moment when she started to really feel at home and go to sleep straight from being placed in cot. She was only 9 months though. Now it's sooo cute. She's downstairs all ready for bed and we watch In the Night Garden and then when she starts to show signs of being tired we say 'do you want to go to bed?' And she says in her cute voice 'yeah' and she kisses daddy and mummy takes her up to bed. Such a good little girl. Really beginning to make her own choices which is so lovely to see xxx


----------



## ChocolateCake

Hi everyone

Great to see some of you are at the same stage as us. Exciting times. 

Im fretting about finances at the moment as my supply agency that I have worked with for four years have informed me im not entitled to statutory adoption pay as I have worked a couple of weeks with another agency  so rather gutted. We wont be getting any help from our LA so wondering if there is anywhere else I can go for advice. My partner works full time but earns below average wage. This news has put added pressure on me which is such a shame at this exciting time. I have always earnt my own money and worked hard so feel disappointed I wont get this little it of help we need. Anyone in the same situations? My agency did mention I could claim SAP elsewhere but I don't know what they mean as cant find anything on HMRC website. Although I don't think I can read anymore right now.

Good luck with your journeys ladies, it will be lovely to follow you all. We have matching panel this week....eeeck


----------



## ultrafirebug

Lovely stories. Keeping me positive.

Chocolate - do you have a contract with the supply agency and if so what does it say on there about maternity/parental leave? I would ask to see their adoption policy so you can double check it yourself. If they have one they should be able to show it to you straight away.

x


----------



## ultrafirebug

Chocolate - if I was you I would read this and contact them to discuss your case https://www.gov.uk/adoption-pay-leave/pay

It's says if you're not eligible your employer must give you form SAP1 explaining why you can't get Statutory Adoption Pay.

/links


----------



## ChocolateCake

Hi Ultrafirebug

thank you for your reply. I will re-read again. I have see the part you mention. thing is I actually have used the other agency and for sap it says you need to be continuously with your employer for 26 weeks). I will ask to see the contract etc as I cant find my copy

thanks again


----------



## Skippy123

Hi I hope you girls don't mind me joining this thread. I have recently just received my application for adoption. Can anyone explain to me what happens next as I am completely in the dark, previously went through 3xicsi treatment at gri and had 2x miscarriages came to conclusion now adoption is the road for me and dh. Any help would be greatly appreciated x


----------



## m222soo

Hi Skippy - are you applying with Glasgow ?? have you attended an open evening yet - I am with Glasgow and can give you our experience so far if thats where you are applying


----------



## Ozzycat

I'm gonna be a mummy!!!!!
Met with LO'S sw who was lovely and she wants to progress asap... shes meeting our sw on Thursday  to do the  official paperwork and then they'll come back to us with dates to meet the medical advisor, the foster carer, birth mum wants to meet us before her wish u well but we could be meeting our little pink in about 6-8 weeks OMG.. I'm still in a state of shock!!!!!


----------



## Forgetmenot

Omg x how old is little pink!

So happy for you x

Massive congrats x


----------



## Ozzycat

Little pink is only 7 months!!
We never in our wildest dreams believed we would be this lucky!!! As soon as we get that call on Thursday I'm gonna buy the animal stickers for the nursery that are currently sat in my basket on amazon!!! I can finally buy baby clothes and prssents for my own little own not everyone else's. .. I'm still in shock!!! Im so overwhelmed!!


----------



## Barbados Girl

Yay


----------



## Lorella

Ozzycat - your post made me well up. So pleased for you. It's a magical time xx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Yey congrats ozzy fantastic news. You can join me in the buying of all things haha. Ive bought baby wipes tonight xx


----------



## Loki Girl

Ozzy - so so made up for you - it obviously calls for some dancing bananas       

It is so fab to start buying the stuff - enjoy getting all her room ready cus trust me it comes round quick and then she will be home with you before you know it. Congratulations  

Welcome Skippy - it's an exciting time starting the process there will be so much to take in so if you have any questions we are all here to help. Once you have filled in the application they should arrange for a social worker to come round and have a chat with you and then they will let you know if they will accept you onto stage one and whether you want to proceed to stage one once they have told you about what it involves etc. Stage one then is the boring bit lots of paperwork and endless waiting for your DBS to come back   I think everyone has had there stage one prep courses at different times but we didn't have ours until 8 weeks after we first applied. Good luck


----------



## ultrafirebug

Ozzycat - wonderful news, very happy for you.  
Skippy - We've just started.  After handing in our form and had our first initial visit we have our first preparation meeting this Thursday (2 weeks in between).  We are going down the route of dual approval for foster for adoption and adoption.

x


----------



## moobags

Great news ozzy.

We have been short listed and selected as the family the worker wants to visit for two boys age 2 and 1 trying not to get our hopes up as we have had link meeting before for two profiles that got cancelled day before just hope that this time we make it.

Loving all the updates hopefully things are on the up for everyone.

Moo x


----------



## becs40

Ozzycat fabulous news! So pleased for you. This group is running full pelt at the mo, do you even attempt to update the list now lorella? Lol! 

We've just had our first holiday, a long weekend at centre parcs. A mixed bag really. Little man was very unsettled and barely slept fri and sat night so we were exhausted. There wasn't very much for him to do at the weekend as most of the things they do for under 1's is during the week. On the plus side we went with my brother and his family and it was lovely spending time with my nephews. They adored their little cousin particularly the younger one who is 10. We also did a photo shoot whilst there as its his 1st birthday this week so thought it would be a great time to do it. Haven't seen the pics yet but we had a great time doing them as he is so funny and cheeky I was in tears of laughter at his antics! There is going to be an absolutely cracking photo I hope where I'd asked for a couple of pics in his nappy (his fab, funky bright cloth happy!) and he was sat stripped naked bar the happy with his little Buddha belly when he just looked down at his tummy and with both hands grabbed his little spare tyre like the Special K  "can you pinch more than an inch" advert! Priceless moment. Most of the others had to be action shots on account of his speed commando crawling everywhere. Can't wait to see them.


----------



## Lorella

I'd forgotten about the list on the front page! If anyone wants me to update it let me know details and certainly will x

Sounds like our first weekend away Becs. Second  holiday went much much better though. Exciting about the photos! We seem to be running bit in synch with you as we also had some professional photos done at weekend. We had a studio session which includes one free photo as a gift. Was fun! However the cheapest photo to buy is 7 by 5 at £40! Gonna be hard viewing them as I'm sure they will be lovely but we certainly can't afford to buy loads! Think will be our one free print plus maybe a couple. 

Such great news on here at the mo. 

Don't want to speak to soon but LO seems to be sleeping in again to 6.45 which makes such a difference! Not sure why.....think either teeth settled down again or mabe she was to cold as stopped putting vest on due to warmer weather. Who knows?! 

Notgivingup - we've ordered the Velcro blackouts you recommended but towels still up at the mo!

Xxx


----------



## Ozzycat

Morning lovely ladies, becs, lorella it's been so lovely reading ur journeys and it so great to hear how well ur little ones have settled in x
good luck moo.. 2 little blues how lovely x
twink.. Cant wait to start buying baby wipes 😆😆😆
Such a flurry or sudden matches it's so amazing to read all these exciting updates.. and even better to be apart of it!
sw mentioned we would have to do a talking/photo book and I remember someone once mentioning a good one on this forum... can anyone recommend one?
Been up since 6am browsing amazon.. not a clue where to start! Xxxx


----------



## becs40

The photos tied in well really as was something to do, tied in with his birthday this week and our first family holiday. It was £20 for 1/2 hour session including a 10 x 8. We booked 2 sessions so he had one with us on Saturday and then 1 on Sunday of just him and a few with his cousins. They are so expensive and I'm  sure I'd want them all but have to try and remember that you can only have so many up and we'll want more photos of him up as he grows up. I might try and get my dad on the case though as the company that do the photos are a customer of his so might see if he can do a deal with them!


----------



## Primmer

Ozzycat - that's great news, bet you can't stop smiling !!!

Moobags - fingers crossed for your meeting and that it all works out xx


----------



## becs40

Lorella I tried the laying on the floor next to the cot trick today when I put young sir down for his nap! Suffice to say 20 minutes later I was in hysterics and he was wide awake being a very cheeky monkey! As expected he stood up in his cot peering down at me as if to say "you're nuts" then proceeded to drop his teddy on me, I ignored this so he then cried, so I gave him Teddy back, he dropped it again and so on! 
On the plus side the weekend may not have been great but I saw the proofs of our family photo session today and love them! I hate having my picture taken in any circumstances and actually cried at my wedding photos, these however are fab!


----------



## Lorella

Becs - your son does sound like a gorgeous cheeky monkey! Great news on the photos. 

TMI LO story coming up: so been giving her a bit of nappy free time before bed and of course get the little widdles on the carpet! Anyway we had a first poo poo on Monday night , luckily nice and solid! Then again last night! This time I wasn't so quick and LO managed to experiment with the texture in her fingers!! I've now bought a potty. I'm not planning on potty training until next spring but think it might be good to just have around! Xx


----------



## Ozzycat

Sw just called we have been officially matched and panel date is the  20th July with intros starting 27th july...
let the shopping frenzy comence!!!!!


----------



## ultrafirebug

Congrats Ozzycat and hi to everyone else

Had our first preparation meeting today which we found very interesting. Our group was very small (only 6 of us) and going down different paths with regards to adoption. It was nice to meet 2 lots of adoption parents and hear their stories. They didn't talk much about foster to adopt but we will be having a special course for that. Will ring tomorrow to arrange adoption medical. Dh will do his then too. Next visit is on 6th July with social worker x


----------



## Loki Girl

Yay Ozzy - so so happy for you Hun. Get decorating and be prepared to spend a small fortune hahaha. It's amazin what these little ones need. Be warned tho you will prob have loads from the foster carers. I had bought our little one bout 4 little tshirts and when everything had come from the foster carers and I counted she had 32 tshirts!!!!! Don't think I have to wash for a month haha. 

Well we had our first difficult evening yesterday. Little one was demonstrating being a terrible 2 at 18mths haha. Didn't want to do anything and was uncooperative in anything we wanted her to do like brush teeth, change nappy or out pyjamas on. She had been with us 8 days is this the end of the honeymoon period    I felt awful but actually was glad when she was finally in bed last night. Think just being tired lol. She woke few times in night but not enough that had to go in to her but was then awake from 4-5am when I finally got her back to sleep thinking ooh she might give us another hour or so - nope 5.30am wide awake. Have to say tho she has been pretty good today so far. We met my parents for the 1st time today so that was lovely. Just went for walk in park so she didn't feel too overwhelmed. 

Ultra firebug - glad your prep course went ok. We only had 2 other couples on our course as well and that was nice. Not too big a group so you didn't feel like having to shout to be heard but not too small for it to be awkward. It was a shame the other couples didn't want to keep in touch but we did try.


----------



## ultrafirebug

Loki - hope she goes to bed easier tonight and sleeps well for you. Her little brother, have you started regular visits with him yet? If so or when you do will you take lo with you? x


----------



## Loki Girl

Thanks Ultrafire she was very good tonight so fingers crossed for a better night. Just struggling to get the temp in her room down so that prob doesn't help!! We start introductions for her little brother on 4th Aug. The plan will hopefully be for a shorter introduction period like a week rather than the 10 days we did with little pink. We will take little one with us as she needs to get used to him too. We are keeping track of her schedule for the next couple of weeks then the social workers will hopefully make a plan based round that. They are getting us some recent photos of him to put up and a DVD so we can start showing her and talking about him. She did used to see him every week but they decided to stop that so she could focus on settling in with us.  I don't know if we will do everything that we did with little pink because with her we had to do early mornings for when she first got up and later nights to do her bedtime as FC's didn't put her to bed till after 8.30. I have told SW we can't possibly do that with little pink as we are just getting her into a routine and don't want it disrupted too much. I think because he's a baby we might not have to do all that. My only worry is his FC said he's clingy and unsettled so might need longer. But she based that after contact with his birth parents who he was seeing once a week up until 2 weeks ago when they got the adoption order for him. Of course he's likely to be unsettled after that so just hoping now he is doing better and with seeing us prob everyday through introductions he will be ready to move after not too long a time. It's certainly going to be a challenge for everyone I think tho!!!


----------



## becs40

Ultrafire glad you enjoyed prep days.

Loki sounds like she's settling in well if she's testing the boundaries already! I'm sure sw will come up with suitable intro plan for little man to suit everyone.

Well we've had a fabulous day. Little mans first birthday. Something I never thought I would get to enjoy even when we started down the adoption route. I managed to get his birthday cake finished this morning as slept until 12 from going down at 9.30 for morning nap. He then had lunch and we went to a small local zoo which is only 5 miles from us. Never been before and it was lovely, they charge £35 per adult for an annual pass so going to do that next month as will probably go quite a lot. Under 3's are free so £70 a year to go whenever we want seems really good. Then we came home and my parents took him to feed the ducks at the village pond on his trike while we got all his presents together for him to unwrap when he got home. He was most impressed by the birthday bunting we had lol! Then he got to try cake for the first time which seemed to be very well received and he went to bed at 6.30 like a very good boy leaving us grown ups to enjoy a nice BBQ. Perfect day.


----------



## ultrafirebug

Thanks Becs. Glad your lo enjoyed his birthday and the cake looks amazing. I got an annual pass for a farm near us just before DS turned 2 which made him free and took him every time the weather was nice and we were free. My parents got it for us as his birthday present. 

Loki - glad your lo was more settled tonight and hope your visits with lo's brother go well.

Just been ordering some books for DS to aid the conversation of fostering and adoption. I haven't found a foster for adoption book for him but found alternative ones.

X


----------



## Loki Girl

Wow amazing cake Becs. Sounds like you had an amazing day and glad your little boy had a lovely time. Such a lovely milestone to celebrate especially when you never thought you would. I think I will be the same with our 2. Their 1st and 2nd birthdays will only be a week apart so hopefully will plan a lovely double celebration. 

Well little one repeated the night before unfortunately. She woke again at 4.20 and it took me till 5.15 to get her back to sleep then bang she's up at 6am. I was thinking is it worth my sitting up with her for an hour to try and get her back to sleep at that time only for it to be 45mins. I never got back to sleep of course after all that lol. I really didn't want to actually get up with her at 4am cus didn't want her to think this is an acceptable time to get up!!! Any thoughts from anyone on best plan of action or is it just a case of riding it out? I was a nanny for 24yrs but never did many night shifts so all a bit new for me hahaha. DH back to work on Monday so trying to do it all myself knowing I will have to do it when he goes back to work cus not fair on him to be up for an hour in the middle of the night. 

Oh well at least I can take advantage and have a shower with DH being here so will go enjoy some pampering on my own lol. Have a good day ladies xx


----------



## becs40

Hi Loki, your lo sounds very like our little man. He was sleeping through at fc's but when he moved we were up several times a night often from 3-5 solidly. He's now going through for about the last month (apart from the holiday). Just as it sorted itself I found this article though which was from a sleep expert who also adopted. I think night time is when they play out their anxieties so it may take a little while. For us we just ride it out, went to him when he woke, sat with him until asleep etc. I think he just needed that reassurance. Now we give him his bottle and put him straight in the cot and he usually goes off after 5-10 minutes. Anyway here's the link to the article.
http://theadoptionsocial.com/blogless-blogging/problems-with-sleep-in-adoption/
This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## Lorella

Hey Loki
It took our LO a good month to settle into a reasonably good sleep routine. I would say stay in the room with her, give her a cuddle and stroke her, try and lay her back down and stay in room with her until goes back off. This is what HV advised to us. She is waking up but not secure enough yet to feel comfortable enough to get herself back to sleep. She will get there. Or could could take her into your bed for a bit. I know some prof. Don't advise this but our situations are different while you are building that bond and trust. Ours was the other way round and she was a nightmare to get to sleep. We had wks of her falling asleep on our bed and then in out arms but now you just plonk her in her cot and she's out like a light! Xxx


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Meeting went really well and the children's SW said yes this morning.

OMG - we are going to be a mummy & daddy to a blue and 2 pinks!

Lots of planning going to be done and we will be given matching panel date, they are currently in different placements so may have intros separately.

I can't stop bloody crying!

X


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Ozzycat - congratulations to you too darlin, amazing news!!!!!

X


----------



## Ozzycat

Amazing news Paula. .. I thought my shopping frenzy was going to be bad... urs will be 3x as expensive and the list 3x as long!! Amazing news, so chuffed for u xxxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Yay Paula - so blooming fantastic. I am absolutely over the moon for you my IVF buddy!!! Can't believe we finally have our dream miracles. U will certainly have your hands full lol. I assume the siblings see each other regularly? Ours saw each other once a week but they have stopped that now while little pink settles with us. It's a shame they didn't end up in the same foster home as it would of made our lives harder but easier at the same time. Will all yours move in at the same time or will they stagger it like we are doing? Oh wow exciting times!!!

Such brilliant news on here at mo hopefully others are not too far behind!!!

Becs thank you for the article. Interesting reading. It does seem to make sense. I guess she could be anxious as maybe she's trying to process the thought of she is staying here. We do make it quiet and she's happy to lie in cot. If she gets really upset we rock her and give her some milk. The prob is when she's quite awake like this morn and she drinks the milk and then starts talking to you!!!

We had a lovely day today - we oopsa Daisy bumped into DH's parents and our 2yr old niece   Little one had a whale of a time in the water park and screamed blue murder when she was finally fished out lol. It was also lovely cus after about an hour she really came out of herself and even held DH's dad's hand. It was a lovely moment as for those who don't know he is terminally ill with cancer so it is so lovely he is well enough to meet and interact with his newest grandchild and hopefully grandchildren soon.


----------



## becs40

Paula congrats! How exciting and utterly terrifying 3 of them! Good luck lol!

Ah Loki how lovely that fil got some quality time with his new granddaughter. Precious moments indeed.

Our little man seemed so settled and happy with us during the day and even when waking during the night he wouldn't cry he was just awake. It's 6 months today since he came home and looking back the difference is incredible.


----------



## Tw1nk82

Brilliant news Paula xxxxx

Loki love the updates xxx

Hi everyone else xxx

Im feeling a little deflated after our link last week. We have heard nothing about when our panel is or when meetings for medical advisor and foster carer are. I need to know for finishing work and sorting things out argh xxxx


----------



## Nieta

Twink - you think the wait is over now that you've been linked (hooray!) and then they still make you wait... It's such a frustrating experience from start to finish but hang on in there, you've reached that important linking milestone already. Can you chase up your SW, especially if you need the info to sort out work? We have flurries of activity one week followed by weeks of silence, unfortunately it's head-bangingly normal in this game.


----------



## becs40

Ah Twink I feel for you, it's so frustrating! It will all be worth it in the end and I'm sure will happen quickly once they come back to you with dates. Unfortunately social services have their very own time zone which makes them think everything is being done quickly but to everyone else it's an eternity, mainly because they don't communicate what they're doing!


----------



## pyjamas

Back to the marital bed last night after sleeping in nursery with LO since placement. Did not appear to bother her as she slept well from 630pm till 730am only waking briefly for bottle at 400am. Has not been sleeping well lately though. Has been up about three times most nights but settles again after milk. First steps independently yesterday. Will need to get her some shoes fitted soon! xx


----------



## becs40

Ah pyjamas how fab, first steps! No wonder she slept so well! I'm not sure how far off first steps we are, he's cruising the furniture well and walking with things - today's item of choice was an upturned plastic storage box lol who needs expensive walkers!


----------



## Loki Girl

Ok going to apologise in advance for this post especially for those of you still waiting or those with matches. I am finding things soooooo hard at the mo. Our little one has turned into a moaning, screaming, crying demon!!!!! What on earth am I doing wrong? I know it's early days and I can see it being all the trademarks of her settling but after being with us for a week she literally turned full circle. We had never ever seen a tantrum or heard her raise her voice before. We knew she was a very determined and strong willed little girl but she has turned into a hurricane. We can't do anything without her screaming about it and sometimes she will be sitting on my lap and just scream into my face. Not a crying scream just an ear splitting scream and then she will look at me. I was ignoring it but am now telling her to stop it and that does seem to work. Everything is a battle from changing nappy, to getting dressed, to brushing hair t brushing teeth to basically everything she doesn't want to do. We saw the SW yesterday and we talked about it and she said she is prob testing and to be strict. Her words be stricter than normal cus you can always tone it down later. She said boundaries first love second. Also I am trying to take into account DH went back to work yesterday and maybe she is reacting to that. I had the morning from hell with her she just wouldn't do anything. She wants to stand on my legs but won't sit and read a story or anything, then she wants to walk around, then she wants to be carried but then she wants down. It was exhausting and when I finally said no we had an absolute tantrum. Couldn't even engage her with toys she just wanted to climb on me. Is this attachment? I ended up driving her in car to send her to sleep and managed to put her up in cot without waking so hoping she will have a good sleep as I am exhausted. When she was down I actually sat and cried buckets trying to decide what is wrong with me and am I expecting too much?

On a positive note she goes to bed easily and sleeps through which the SW said was excellent and shows she is settling but it feels like it's getting worse. She's also started to take some steps independently rather then cling to your finger which she has been walking and doing for months with foster carers they never encouraged her to let go. All very well for them with all the time in the world and both of them at home to just walk around holding her finger. Is it maybe cus we are a much busier household in general? FC's just let her do whatever she wanted in her own time cus they had all the time in the world so maybe that's a big change too. It's just things she was quite happy with have now suddenly become a battle. All I can say is thank God we started to see my parents last week cus I rang my mum saying I really need to meet up for a coffee this afternoon so that will be nice and LO will prob be an angel!!! Had a difficult day yesterday as well and don't want DH to come home and listen to me moaning when he's so happy to see her after being away all day. Bless him he did the bath and bed for me last night. 

Anyways if any of you have any advice or if you know if it's just a settling in period and can tell me it won't last   that would be fab lol. Feeling a complete failure at mo. My best friend said I am being too hard on myself and she's prob right but just don't know what to do for her for the best!!!

Thank you for listening. And I am not being ungrateful I am thrilled to be a mum it's just a lot harder at the mo than I ever imagined especially when we saw this golden little girl for 3 weeks lol


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## becs40

Ah Loki,  .
I can't really speak from experience as little man was too young for anything like that when placed. It sounds to me like its a combination of things attachment won't be there yet so she's probably feeling a bit lost on that front, also her age, she is at an age where they test their independence etc and really push the boundaries.
I think if it were me I'd not sweat the small stuff for now and just challenge her on the things that really matter. I'd also go with her on what she wants to do as much as possible and just try distracting her with other things when she's heading for a meltdown. 
Would you feel confident going swimming with her if your mum maybe came with you? Good fun for one, great for attachment and will help get rid of some energy! 
You will find it tough for the first couple of months whilst you get used to your new life, try and find ways to help you cope. Could Dh do bath and bedtime a few nights a week or more if poss to give you a chance to relax or take the dog for a walk? It's important to find timeout for you and to be honest it's taken me 6 months to realise that and actually do it!


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## crazyspaniel

Loki,
Couldn't not reply to your post  
The vast majority of us have definitely been where you are now, get yourself over to the post placement board and you will see how normal all this is!
Your little one is confused and grieving her fcs, she can't possibly have a clue whats happening, all she knows is everyone familiar has disappeared and they don't seem to be coming back..
As far as  being stricter than normal I personally think this is a bad idea, yes keep her safe but other than that distract and divert is the only way to go   Attachment is a long way down the line, concentrate on bonding for now. Get a sling if you haven't already and use it as much as you can.
Swimming is a great idea, don't use flotation aids hold her in the water.
Forget the housework etc, resign yourself to concentrating on her, things will get better x
She is regressing so treat her younger, if she has bottle and will allow you cuddle up and feed her. 
Think of her behaviour as attachment seeking rather than attention seeking...
You're doing a great job, keep going xx


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## Ozzycat

Loki just wanted to send u a big hug


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## Dame Edna

Loki
 to get yourself access to Post Placement, you will need to send a PM to Mel.  I do not have the authority to grant access to the PP board but I will see you over there.

Just a quick one, although your little one seems to be pushing you away she actually really needs you.  Forget boundaries, she's a traumatised baby, she will (eventually) respond to emotional warmth, singing, cuddles, bath.  She's sad and it's coming out as anger.  Come over to PP soon.

We've all been there Loki.  The standing on your lap brings back memories!  My DS now loves a snuggle on my lap and really snuggles in.  It takes time and you will get there.  Early days
Lots of love
X


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## GERTIE179

((((Huge Hugs))) Loki - please jump over to PP board or feel free to PM.

Like DE and CS says we have really been there. Its very normal for a LO of this age.  Suddenly they realise this isn't a holiday and FC aren't coming to take them back (very true if your LO ever had contact or respite FC's whilst main FC was on holiday or had SS training etc - they don't tell you this).  I wouldn't be more strict as SW says. Just ow LO needs to build her relationship with you and trust grows from that initial trust.
Plus you have a girl and my experience is that boys tend to be a little lazier and thus are ok with being babied more. But girls are little miss independent's from a young age (don't mean to offend anyone and just a generalisation based on my own and friends experiences).

Have you got some Theraplay activities. Think younger and think puppy training i.e. make yourself exciting/interesting and let LO come to you as much as poss.  Push me pull me is very normal in adopted children and we had this for a very long time in the first year so be kind to yourself. Tag team with DH if possible and get out in the evenings for dog walk/run or coffee with a friend as you need your emotional reserves high as it is very draining.  Housework etc can be left - your LO will take it all from you just now and needs you.

Ps try and avoid that word no as its just a red flag.  I used "ah ah" a lot for things that were deal breakers and tone of voice too. Just physically moved lo from anything dangerous and took everything that couldn't be touched out of reach to avoid the meltdown that would invariably come.

sorry this is very quick but hope it helps knowing others have walked this path and come out the other side - I now have the cuddliest mummy's boy most of the time when at first he would arch and throw himself away from any form of touch or comfort and as soon as he got down/away he wanted me again to instantly repeat the violent throwing himself about!!

x x


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## becs40

I didn't even know there was a post placement board!


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## -x-Lolly-x-

All sounds very normal but very tough and certainly a shock to the system. Little one has lost all they have known and in a way it would be more worrying if she was totally fine. The honeymoon period is over and she's realised foster carers aren't coming back and is grieving. This is good and healthy and she needs to go through this process before she can start transferring attachments to you. Please don't doubt yourself. Ignore the SW and just be there for LO but do make sure people are there for you too. Keep posting and we will all tell you how normal this is and how we have generally all been through behaviours like this and have come out the other side. Get to the post placement board, Becs, you too!!  Big hugs   xxx


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## Laws1612

Hi becs......

Would you like access? Xxx


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## Lorella

Hi Laws - what is the post placement board? Can I have access to please? Xx


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## becs40

Yes please Laws although where do I find it? 
How are things with you Laws, haven't heard from you for a while. Being kept very busy with your lo's I'm sure!


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## Loki Girl

Ladies what can I say - once again a huge huge thank you. What would I do without this board?!!!!! It is just such a welcome relief to know this is all normal and others have been through it too. Have to say we had a brilliant afternoon. Met up with my parents and LO was fab charming the pants off them lol. She's quite happy now after seeing them a couple of times to hold hands with them etc so it just gave me that opportunity to have a little break even if it's just from holding hands and being pulled in all directions lol. 

Anyways with a clearer head a lot of what people said made sense with her grieving for foster carers etc. she had been in respite once for a week but think she was quite young. It made me realise it's not my fault and that's what my downfall was this morn just thinking maybe I wasn't doing good enough for her. So tomorrow is a new day going to do the best I can without being negative (I really like the idea of not saying no and saying ah ah or something so thanks for that tip Gertie!!). Love the swimming idea too so DH going to come with me on weekend and we will try it. It was something we wanted to do together anyways. I didn't want to start taking LO on my own as when little blue comes I won't be able to take both so it was something we were going to do as a family. 

I am so lucky my DH is fab. He works from 7.30-3.30 so generally home just after 4pm. We then either take the dog out together or he will take LO out to give me a break before dinner. Today I got a lovely shower while he looked after LO. We take turns putting her to bed and she's happy with either of us so that's nice too. 

Anyways would love to join the post placement board as think it will really help. Who do I contact again? I'm not sure who Mel is? How do I go about sending her a PM?

Many thanks again. U are life savers and I'm ready to crack on tomorrow   and do the best I can to make sure my little girl feels happy, loved and secure


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## Laws1612

I will put your names forward thats probs the easiest thing. 

im ok..kept very busy, but keeping up with all your posts and there is such wonderful news.....I will try and jump on soon for a full uodate for you guys.... 

lots of love xxx


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## Anjelissa

Hi Loki Girl,

Lots of great advice and support already, but just in answer to your question.....

To access Post Placement you just need to pm Mel (she's the Manager of Fertility Friends and Joint Founder  )
Her user name is just that (i.e. Mel )

Many (myself included) have found it really beneficial, and as we all know it's a huge help to be able discuss matters freely with people who truly understand  
You are certainly not alone 

Anj x x x

Ps...oooops sorry Laws, our posts crossed


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## Dame Edna

The Post Placement board is not advertised Becs 40.

Only Mel can grant access. To make things easier, if you look at this link (unrelated topic). 
You will see Mel's name at the start 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=59145.0

X


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## notgivingup

Laws it's like a mystery world is lurking somewhere but I'd like to be part of it!! Please could you add me to the list? 

Loki you've had some great advice on here. The first few weeks can be unbelievably difficult which I don't think anyone can comprehend until you're going through it yourself. I echo what others said  but just to add the few little bits I do when I'm having difficult days... I often read through their reports /CPRs to remind myself just how much they have been through. I look back on my calendar and realise that 12 weeks ago they had never even heard of us, and now they are living in a new house, with new toys, new smells, new people, new cars, new food, new drink etc and realise how much of a shock it must be for them. I also sneak in at night and look at them sleeping (that sounds creepy but you Know what I mean!!) and I have a list of all the lovely things they do and any progress they make on a list on the fridge so I can read it and have a little chat with myself when I feel things slipping!  You have seen your LO as a calm happy little pink and you will see it again. 

Xx


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## becs40

Thanks Laws and Dame Edna for the link, have pm'd.

Notgivingup that's some great tips there. Think i may need to do something similar. 

I've recently looked back on photos and videos taken just a few days after placement when everyone said how well he'd settled and how well it was going. All I see now looking back is a very bewildered baby 😔. It was little mans first birthday last week which also marked the point that he had been with us longer than anyone else in his life and that me very emotional. 

When I'm struggling I stop and imagine what it would feel like for me as a fully communicative adult to be picked up and moved in with strangers and lose everyone I've ever known, it would be terrifying for me let alone little ones to young to understand or communicate that fear.


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## GERTIE179

I have a lovely pic of my darling son on the 2nx week of intros. At time he looked a happy boy - now all I see is a big smiling but his eyes are haunted, his skin has yukky palour and there's a deep sadness within. Nothing like the pics a few months on.

In the early days (which face it a lot of us have yearned for a long time), it's difficult to see what your dealing with. Go easy on you all & believe it's a marathon not a sprint and you'll soon be looking at pics with happy healthy children who glow from within. X x x


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## crazyspaniel

I have a similar photo taken early in placement which at the time I thought was lovely, my little girl with her great big eyes... Now I hate looking at it because she looks petrified


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## AoC

Me too - my favourite pic of Bug in the early days I almost can't bear to look at now, because I can see the fear and uncertainty in his eyes.  Now I just see love and crazy mischief.  Way better.


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## AoC

Loki - Very normal, very familiar.    VERY much better now.  

I can't agree with your SWer - your LO needs reassurance, love, nurturing, help to build her self-esteem (kids nearly always blame themselves for any traumatic change) and help managing her emotions and grief.  She needs attachment.  

We tried the getting more strict approach when we had similar issues with Bug.  It wasn't the solution (that's the short version!  LOL!)

Look after yourself, remember it's not your fault, remember she's not rejecting you (as my SWer used to say, I'd be more worried if she was in the corner, indifferent and not relating to you), in fact by demonstrating these behaviours with you, she's showing you're her safe person.

Watch out for others (including your parents) giving any sort of 'care' (hugs, feeding, going to them for things, washing, toiletting, even hand holding to some extent) instead of you, as this could interfere with her forming solid attachments with you.

It's going to be okay.    I find it much easier to talk about how bad it got with Bug than how good it is now, because it's easy to find words to describe hard stuff, but hard to find words to describe the sheer, magnificent, joy-drenched wonder of being Bug's mum on a daily basis.

(It gets REEEEEAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLYYYYY GOOD.   )


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## Mel

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=336957.0

Please read here about the Post Placement board 

Mel
x


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## Forgetmenot

Arghhhh I just need to rant.  Why are bossy just so nasty!
I cannot believe the attitude.  I actually feel very discriminated against....
I thought she would have calmed down from last week, but not good wishes, no you can finish early, just a telling off for using my mobile phone and this is the letter of the law, so good luck me.
Another start of the day in tears... Roll on the end xx


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## becs40

Ah forgetmenot sorry it's so rubbish! You won't need to worry about it soon enough as you'll be enjoying your lo whilst she's stuck at work! Just remember it's not much longer and hang in there.


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## AoC

Not much longer, FMN, hang on in there.  It will all have been worth it.


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## Tw1nk82

forgetmenot it wont be much longer now and work will be nothing to you for a while and they will have to cope without you xxx


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## Forgetmenot

Thank you! Another drama today! After a breakdown, I now have all the info I need and I am free to resign!!

So feel a little more empowered for my meeting tomorrow.  Then maybe finally be able to believe this might actually happen next week xx

Hope everyone else is ok xx


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## Loki Girl

Yay forgetmenot - once that job is done I bet you will be more relaxed and concentrate on other things. So happy for you. You so deserve not to put up with that crap lol. 

Well after a few difficult days, little one seems to of settled a bit. We had a fab day yesterday, she was golden, we had no crying, no tantrums no screaming all day. Just a couple of normal toddler things.  I was like whoa what happened overnight   The only difference was DH spent a bit of time with her before work so maybe it was that that upset her him going back to work. Anyways I'm sure there will be still days ahead that will be difficult but if she can throw me in a couple of lovely days then I know and can picture what life will be like lol. 

Hi everyone else hope you are all ok. I am soooooo looking forward to the weekend after my first week of parenting alone     And even better looking forward to my first birthday as a Mummy on Wed   I am expecting lovely Mummy presents - DH had better deliver


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## Lorella

Glad things are better Loki. Enjoy your first birthday as a mummy. Special time xx


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## Tw1nk82

Loki fab to hear things are a little better and enjoy your first birthday as mummy xxx


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## moobags

Hi all been keeping a low profile for a while.

So after absolutely nothing since our last cancelled meeting we had three social workers link with us two on AL and one through CWW anyway two out of the three requested visits, our worker informed us we could only proceed with one so we have a visit booked for Tuesday mega mega nervous as we have been here twice before only to have the meeting cancelled just praying that this is our time.

Loki glad to hear your LO is back to her lovely self bet you can't wait for your first Mummy card.

Fgmn I know we are in regular contact but just want to say take a deep breathe your almost at the finish line    

Twink, lorella, becs, aoc, crazy spaniel and the rest of you lovely ladies hope you are well and looking forward to the weekend.

Moo x


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## Cbelle1

Hi lovely peeps!
I've been quiet for the last few months whilst the cogs have been turning, but the great news is we are on track for approval panel on 4th August - Yay!!!
I just wanted to pick your brains if I may, we have been invited the adoption activity day this weekend, but I'm getting myself in a bit of a stew. There are going to be around 100 adults there and only about 15 children. I'm fine about getting stuck in and playing with the kids - that's the fun bit. I think what's worrying me is the foster carers and starting conversations with them - I mean what do you say..."What do you think of the weather at the moment? And please tell me if your Bob is a good mixer?" Obviously that is not what I'm going to say, I'm just quite nervous about the whole thing. I'm a bit worried that even though I'm an outgoing person that I might shrink around all these other people who are approved or foster carers.
Please feel free to tell me to shut up and get it on with it. I'm not thinking of backing at all, but could just do with some kindly words and the benefit of anyone's experience. I lot of what I'm hearing about these days has been negative (even our SW!)

Chelle
x


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## Tw1nk82

I have a panel date 18th of August and intros planed for the 1st of September. Yey finally i can plan. Still waiting for the medical advisor date and meeting foster carer but hopefully that will be soon xxxx


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## RocketJ

I've also been keeping a low profile on here for a while as SWs made me wait 2 and a half months to get a linking meeting due to them being ill, on leave, and then miscommunicating the date to each other! However, they finally came out at the end of last week, and called this week to say they picked me! Panel mid August, and intros starting the last week in Aug, so we'll be going through it together Twink!

How have people played it with telling colleagues/friends? I know there is lots of advice not to say until after panel, but as a teacher I won't be returning to work after the summer so there is lots I need to hand over in the next 3 weeks. My gut instinct is to be open about it, but I'm interested to hear what other people have done.


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## Forgetmenot

Rocket I am having a mare!!! They not impressed with me at all x

Will message when home.... Mine are getting effectively two weeks notice x

She is making me work the official 7 days so I have not time between leaving and intros


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## becs40

I was always open with my boss Rocket but my situation was different because of doing foster to adopt. We had an idea of when things would happen but in the end we got a call on the Monday saying intros start the next day. As I didn't work Monday's I'd already worked my last day the Friday before we were notified! We had less than 24 hours notice of intros starting.

Chellebelle it'll be fine. These things just kind of flow of their own accord, you can't plan a conversation really. When you're with each child you'll find you just chat about them in the same way you would a friend and their child.good luck. We read our little mans profile at the adoption day we went to but he wasn't there as was only 6 weeks old!


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## Forgetmenot

Well I guess it's getting more serious.... Panel letters arrived.... OMG!!!


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## Ozzycat

Amazing news twink and rocket j...
Matches on this forum have gone into overdrive. . Such fab news x
FMN... The speed urs has happened is scary.. but amazing xx
Rocket I was also honest with my bosses from even the day we applied to adop,t tho my colleagues were shocked when I dropped the bombshell on Monday that I was leaving in a few weeks as we had adopted... Most new about our ivf journey but no one knew about the adoption!!!
We've pretty much told everyone and everyone has been overjoyed with loads of offers of stuff and help... My SIL has gone into shopping overdrive and has bought me a £75 mummy bag!!!!
Don't worry about telling people  (I was so nervous) but people have been amazing... Some have even cried!!!
3 weeks today till I leave work... starting to get really excited especially as we're decorating the nursery this weekend 😆
I lov the fact there's so many of us all being matched at the same time xx
and Chelle don't worry about the adoption day... if ur little one is there ull know the right things to say to the SW... I was terrified when I went but ull be fine, enjoy it x
Have a lovely weekend ladies xxx


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## Forgetmenot

Ozzy I have to drop bombshell with team next week.... Only senior leadership know, so I think they will be shocked!  Have to work my 7 days notice so have to wait to meet lo, else would have been sooner 

We haven't told the real world yet til next week.... Then time to face the music!! Yikes!!

It will be three weeks from hearing about lo to panel.... Gulp.  

Such exciting news twink, rock and oz!


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## Barbados Girl

FMN, what bumholes. Are you leaving leaving or going back after mat leave. If the former, what are they going to do if you don't go in for your last week? Sack you


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## RocketJ

FMN, I can't believe they are being that unreasonable?!? But then I also can't believe you are going to panel so quickly!

I think my previous post was a bit misleading (unintentionally!) - I have told my boss, she has known about it all through the process, and several other colleagues know as I am not very good at keeping quiet about things (I think esp being a single adopter I need to share the excitement with people). However, there is a huge question mark over what happens to my class for next year (I teach Y1 so they are very little, and I feel it is unfair on them to meet me and spend the summer expecting to be in my class - I live near the school so would have to spend all summer smiling and lying through my teeth about how much I'm looking forward to teaching them in Sept) and that sort of affects who I tell. I think I am leaning towards a half truth about there being some exciting opportunities that mean that I may not be classroom based - if I can persuade my head to name someone else as the class teacher. But that involves some quick decisions about who that will be! And I think I am leaning towards not telling colleagues except the ones I am close to, and making it clear that it is still not public knowledge.

bleugh. Please don't feel you have to read the above spiel - but it seems to help me work out what to do when I type it out!!

Ozzycat - have you decided to go ahead and tell everyone before matching panel? Or have you had panel already?


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## Ozzycat

We only have a week between panel and intros and were hoping to go away for a few days then.
were also planning to meet birth parents during that week aswell...
We didn't really want to say anything till after panel but panel want to see her decorated nursery and we need to order a buggy etc so in the end we just went " what the he'll. . Let's share our wonderful news"
We are still waiting for the sw to call and tell us they've made a mistake, hence why we can't bring ourselves to buy any clothes or toys yet.. but we have to believe that this is actually happening 😃😃🎉🎊 x


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## Tw1nk82

Such fab news on here at the moment xxx


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## Loki Girl

Ozzy that's fab - don't go overboard on toys or clothes. If your LO is anything like ours she came with that much stuff and of course only wanted to play with stuff she was familiar with. It's only really now she is venturing out and discovering what's in her buckets lol. I had only bought her like 3 tops that I had seen and really liked cus really wasn't sure what size she was. Luckily she is in 18-24mth even tho she is on 98h percentile for height and weight lol. But after everything came from foster carers and they were away in drawers I counted she has 34 t-shirts!!!!!!! Loads of leggings but my pet hate is short tshirts and leggings. I just hate the look with a big nappy bum lol. Longer tunic or dresses are fine but personally didn't like the look they had her in. So went on a shopping spree for cropped lightweight trousers and some skirts and jeans. Verbaudet if anyone not heard of it is a French company and do the cutest clothes and not expensive at all. I could spend a fortune on there  . We had to do all the room too before panel because we had to make a DVD so her room had to be all ready. Are u doing a talking book or DVD? We did both. I'm not sure what we will have to do for little blue I can't imagine a DVD cus at 7mths he's not going to watch it is he? Maybe they will just need pictures and the talking book for him. 

We told people right through linking and matching and panel. We were always so confident with our council they always reiterated they would not take us to panel unless they were 99% sure it would be a yes and only ever consider one couple at a time for a potential link so even tho we had the natural doubts we kind of always knew deep down it was a given. We were the opposite never told anyone about IVF after our 1st attempt went so wrong. Just couldn't stand the constant asking and have you tested yet. I so wanted to surprise everyone after a 12 week scan and had all the words picked out how I was going to tell my mom but it was never meant to be. It has been nice tho we have had lots of congratulations on being parent cards and welcome to your little girl. 

Tw1nk enjoy your summer - panel date will be here before you know it then all systems go for you!!!

Well have enjoyed a sleep in and now DH has taken LO shopping so better get on and do the vacuuming while he is out. LO is petrified of any loud noises like vacuums, hand dryers, hair dryers, electric toothbrushes, shredders etc so can't get anything done when she is here. I know everyone says forget the housework but with 2 cats and the Loki Girl if I don't try and do it every few days LO will be crawling through a mountain of hairs   took the dog out while my mom was here the other day and she kindly popped the vacuum round for me lol.

Chelle - good luck on your adoption day. Our LA doesn't believe in them so we didn't go to any. I think I would feel a bit like pushing my luck especially if haven't been approved yet as what if you really get taken by one and yet there are approved adopters who may be interested too. That's not saying if you are not approved you wouldn't be the right parents but for me personally I wouldn't of been able to take the pressure I don't think. But your panel date is not too far away so this may not be an issue at all.  Our LA has the policy of they find you a child and they don't consider anyone else unless you say no so was really pleased they actually found us 'in house' children. You may find if you are interested in a child foster carers will start chatting to you cus after all they want their children to be adopted. I think you will find it will all be quite natural. Good luck!!!

Anyways hope u are all enjoying the gorgeous weather. Housework beckons


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## Forgetmenot

What a confusing fraudulent day!  Dh and I went out to look at cots, prams and car seats!
It's all so confusing.....starting to panic as some of it takes awhile to come in and we don't have a while from panel!
Just don't feel like we should be buying anything yet.... Arghhh xx


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## becs40

Ah forgetmenot, definitely not a fraud but it is a surreal feeling and if I'm honest I didn't enjoy it as much as I should have done because of feeling like that.
However I did at this point make myself drop all the negative superstition that had followed us through ttc and Ivf. Adoption meant we were going to be a family even if we didn't know when. We were approved 0-3 so we bought a buggy, a cot that would become a cot bed and a car seat 0-4 year old so we had the big items that took a while to come. We bought these before we were properly linked with little man and tank God we did! It was one less thing to worry about when the time came. 
If I could do it again I'd still buy and prepare everything just minus the fraud feelings so I could go and enjoy it.


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## Loki Girl

Forgetmenot I echo Becs. It is daunting but seeing your LO's room come together is the best feeling as you start to visualise that little person in there. As Becs said choose a cot bed that changes to a bed after he's done with cot. We just have a 2nd hand cot because we knew we were getting a cot bed from my sister in law so we will give the cot to our little blue and little pink can have the cot bed then hopefully by time little man needs a cot bed princess will be ready for a proper bed and he can have that one. We got a buggy off a friend who was selling. It's a city jogger which is quite nice and will take both of them. If I had had just one would recommend the icandy - expensive but very nice lol. The only thing we didn't get was car seat but we went with foster carers during introductions to get one just so we could put little one in it and make sure it was ok. Your little one will be in a pumpkin seat so you can get a travel system with pumpkin seat buggy etc. Have u got isofix? Dead easy putting them in and out of car if you do. We didn't bother with little pink being in the next stage up car seat but we have an isofix for little blue when he comes. 

As I said for Tw1nk he will come with lots of the stuff he needs so you will have time to pop out during introductions and get some bits that you know he likes or needs more of. Do u have Amazon prime? Always a good one to get next day delivery lol. 

START BUYING AND TRY TO ENJOY


----------



## Forgetmenot

Thanks ladies! Still to scared! 
On wed I will shop.... One thing is for sure, I ain't going back to school until 330 and that will be to hand in my paperwork!!
Do need to buy a transition toy or something today.  It's not been mentioned, but I want to hand something over for my bubba.... All too quick I don't think they have thought it all through, makes me nervous! Xx


----------



## pyjamas

Hurrah. LO sleeping so much better since I moved out of nursery and back to my own room with hubby. LO is now walking most of the time and gets better every day. Hubby is coming with us to Mucky Monkeys group tomorrow so I hope he behaves himself! The groups are a lifesaver. don't know what I will do during summer hols as they are all term time only. Will have to get some shoes sorted for LO soon. Any advice on this would be great. Thanks xxx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Great news pj!

Looking for car seat advise.  This is causing us the most trauma in our decisions as so important.  Littlies is kinda inbetween seats..... I guess shouldn't be in a carry seat for so long, that possibly not worth it for a few months.  did most go for a fixed rear facing one, we looked at a isafe one that rotates today, but looks bit big for now.... It's a mine field!  I guess the ones that stay in the car make it harder to get in and out if they are sleeping, I am, confused.com!


----------



## Lorella

Pjs - we went for Clarks shoes. They are properly fitted. Yes they are pricey (£26 first pair) but it's important you get a good fit. We got 'cruisers' first when she was cruising round furniture etc. They also take a picture and you get a box with my first shoes on it. Very cute to keep. 

FMN - LO was still in transferable carry car seat at FC. When came to us at 9 months went straight into Maxi Cosi 2 way Pearl that was rear facing until she was 15 months. Then we swivelled it round so she's now forward facing. Very happy with it and meant only needed to buy one seat. 

Xxx


----------



## becs40

Fmn we bought cybex sirona which is rear facing from 0-4years. Little man will be in it rear facing until he's 4 years old. It's also a swivel one which makes it so much easier putting him in and out especially if someone parks close to you and you can't get the door open to its widest! We love it and weren't going to get a 2nd seat for dh's car but we also had an infant carrier when he arrived which we used for about 4 months so the sirona was in dh's car and we got used to it being there. We went looking for another extended rear facing seat but dh decided he still liked the sirona best so we ended up with a 2nd one! 😱 I do have to say the first one we bought we did get £200 off it which made things a lot better! Not cheap but I did look for cheapest place online then look for a discount for them and bought through quidco so saved about £50 on the 2nd one.


----------



## notgivingup

Forgetmenot just a word of warning we were given when looking at car seats. The lady in mothercare said the government are looking into bringing in new regulations as early as 2017 where ALL children up to the age of 4 have to be in rear facing seats    In line with other European countries. I've no idea if this is true as we didn't read up on it cause our little 2 will be out of that age bracket by then but might be worth asking the the question. Car seats can be so expensive so wouldn't want anyone to spend a fortune if they then are not appropriate. I'm not entirely sure how a 4 year old fits in a rear facing car seat but that's what we were told! Enjoy shopping! 
X


----------



## Forgetmenot

Thanks ladies.... That's what the difficultly.... The maxi cosi is isafe, so prob best.... Another £350 later!!

On Wednesday we will be spending an absolute fortune, but it has to be right!!

We looked at those ones Becs, they look lovely.  I think we will go pearl or the isafe one, as fits new regs.

No one tells you it's all so complicated!!


----------



## becs40

All I size means is the baby has to be rear facing in that seat until 15 months and it uses isofix. There's lots of seats that fit that criteria but aren't branded I size as brought out before the new regulations. It's just a new way of getting parents to be switching to isofix and keep children rear facing longer. In my opinion it still doesn't go any wear near far enough, we should be following everyone else's lead in rear facing until 2 at the absolute minimum and preferably 4. We seem to be lagging so far behind do many countries on thus and ?I just don't understand why.


----------



## becs40

Have a look at in car safety website and if you aren't too far from one of their branches they are by far the best people to advise you. They truly are the experts.


----------



## Forgetmenot

Defo.  We are going for rear facing for as long as possible x thank's for advice xx


----------



## ChocolateCake

Hi Forgetmenot

We are in exactly the same position as you. I feel such a novice.  We are having intros in couple of weeks. Have our cotbed and room all lovely but so hard trying to fit everything in whilst working full time teaching. Please feel free to PM me as we really do sound like we are going through the same fears, panics and SHOCK in my case  not been on the thread long so will try to read some more of your posts. Im also having a hard time trying to find out about SAP, as a supply teacher don't think im entitled as I worked for a second agency for a couple of weeks in feb. x


----------



## ChocolateCake

Hi Rocket
Just noticed you are in similar place on journey too. Im really wondering what to tell my immediate neighbours. I don't really want people in the street to know my child is adopted. we only moved end of last year. one of our immediate neighbours are lovely but I think its nicer for LO if knowledge is not public. What have others told neighbours please?

Hi everyone on the thread. hope to get to know you all and where you are on your  journeys x


----------



## becs40

We live in a village so there's no way in avoiding everyone knowing we've adopted. Little man was only 6 months when placed so I didn't worry about it. I'm sure by the time he starts school it'll be old news and everyone will have forgotten. Everyone has been delighted for us and very positive but in those situations the only explanation of an older baby/child arriving and staying is the truth. You don't need to give any details though.


----------



## Lorella

Hi chocolate cake
We don't really speak to our neighbours as everyone pretty much keeps themselves to themselves ( not for any other reason). 
The lady opposite delivered a parcel a few months after LO moved in and I came to door with her. She said ' oh I didn't know you were pregnant?'  I said ' no , she didn't arrive by those means!'  The neighbour went on to say how lovely it was etc ( although I think a bit taken aback at first!)
With our other neighbours I just haven't said anything. LO been home 8 months now. I've spoken to a few about various little things but noones said anything and I haven't offered any information. If they did ask I would be honest though but I think it's old news now and everyone's just getting on with their lives. I guess they presume we've adopted and have just let us get on with it without prying. 
Xx


----------



## Primmer

Heard from our sw today and we are getting to meet the medical practitioner, foster carer and getting a blind sighting of our a pink all on 19 August and then were are due to go to panel a week later on 27 August! 

How long after matching panel do introductions normally start? just trying to get my head around time lines - it is all starting to seem a bit more real of a sudden


----------



## Loki Girl

Aww Primmer that's fab. Not long to go at all. If all goes well at panel which no reason it shouldn't they don't want to delay introductions as they will want things to start moving. We had panel on May 19th and intros stared 1st June. I think you have to wait for the ratification which takes a few days but they should give you a plan even if it's a rough one of how things will go. 

We had our SW visit today. We talked about LO's behaviour which is getting better but then wasn't so good today so I think it's def the change of DH being around over weekend and then going back to work. She wouldn't let me go anywhere, even going to make a cup of tea because I had to put her down was a major tantrum. SW said we must persevere especially as little blue will be coming. We now have to start thinking about trying to leave her with my parents for short amounts of time. They want us to do a couple of sessions during the intros with little blue without her so we can concentrate on him. They have suggested I just go upstairs for a bit, then go for a walk and build it up slowly. I'm not sure how this will go if I say bye and go at this stage? Especially with her clearly not managing as well with the change of DH going to work. It may work but then not sure if both me and DH went off for a bit how she would see that? I think maybe build up seeing my parents a bit more first. I mean she has only seen them 3 times!!!! So bit worried bout that. Our SW is going on maternity leave soon and looks like we will have our family finder as our social worker. She's ok but doesn't like dogs so that's a pain to keep Loki out the way and also she's a bit old school. I mean she was the one who said no family contact for 4-6 weeks!!!! Hoping we actually end up with someone else maybe a bit younger like our current one who is absolutely lovely and really understands where I am coming from. Oh well nothing we can do lol. 

Chocolate Cake - we have an elderly gent next door and a large Muslim family the other side. Both lovely. We told the elderly gent only cus he wanted to know why there were little clothes on the line lol. We only saw our Muslim neighbours yesterday. They have 2 very chatty children who we don't see too much unless weather is nice and they are outside. But we had bought LO a sandpit and we set it up for her yesterday. They came to see what was going on and had a billion questions so we just told them exactly what was what lol. I don't mind telling them and the only other neighbour we see regularly cus they have a dog too. I saw he lady with LO the other day and she was fab saying how lovely she was and what a lovely thing etc. We had told everyone what was going on who asked and we have had nothing but good things said. So it's been really lovely. I don't go out of my way to say but the people who know know our journey and our thrilled for us. 

Oh well time to sort out paddling pool ready for the heatwave - stay cool ladies xxx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Hi ladies, we are finally home.... What a day!

We got a unamious yes, and I am possibly a mummy to a beautiful little boy.  It still needs ratifying!  Lots of questions, as there were lots of panel members so they all asked one . I was so proud of my hubby today, he did amazing x

I cannot actually believe it..... it feels very overwhelming!!  After all this time of ups, downs and heartache, we are at the end of a new beginning, and I cannot believe how truly lucky and blessed we are to have the privilege of parenting this little boy xx

It feels so surreal to be posting this after all this time... Wow what a day!!  For once, speechless!! Xx


----------



## pringle

Congratulations forgetmenot


----------



## Ozzycat

WHOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO
he's one very lucky little boy 👍👍😃😃


----------



## Ozzycat

WHOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO
he's one very lucky little boy 👍👍😃😃


----------



## Loki Girl

Yay forgetmenot - never a doubt        I was so thrilled to read your post. U have come through so so so much and hung in there even when things looked so bleak you nearly gave up. You and your DH are going to be the most amazing parents and that little one is a very very lucky boy. No more doubts. Your little boy is finally coming home  

Had the most amazing day today. I never thought I would ever see Mummy cards on my birthday but I had two gorgeous ones and a new pandora leather bracelet from DH and 2 charms with the initials of our beautiful children. Had a lovely lunch with Grandma and Grandad then went out for a lovely family dinner just the 3 of us. Only a month to go before we start getting to know our little boy and bringing him home to complete our family. Introductions now starting with the planning meeting on 31st July


----------



## becs40

Ah FMN so pleased for you! Fab news!

Loki so pleased you had a lovely day, it's a lovely sight the "mummy" cards isn't it. Not too much longer to wait your little man to join you all.

Been a tough day here today, I hurt my back yesterday and it's gone into spasm so having to lift and carry a 2 stone baby today has been bad enough but it's been 35.5degrees here today as well so seriously not happy. Managed to "cool" little bans room down to 30.2 tonight and it took him an hour and a half to go off. He's just in his nappy tonight and has a fan going next to his cot so hope he sleeps ok. On the plus side we been busy planning our celebration hearing party so looking forward to that.


----------



## Loki Girl

It's a nightmare isn't it Becs? Our little one goes to sleep on you and she was just so hot and sweaty and I was hot and sweaty. Ended up putting her in the cot before taking the bottle off her cus she was just so hot. Luckily as we have all been out to dinner it's a later bedtime so she was tired and didn't take her too long to drop off. Her room is 29 degrees!!!

Aww must be lovely planning your party. What are you doing? Just family or family and close friends? Are u getting your social worker a present? Must be so fab thinking not long before no more social worker visits


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## becs40

It's just going to be us and my parents for the actual hearing then on the Saturday we're doing a party. Will be about 40-50 at our village hall, we will have soft play inside for the kids and a BBQ outside.
Not sure on so present to be honest, not overly keen on ours but little mans saw is lovely.


----------



## Lous mummy

Congratulations forgetmenot! I am super pleased for you 😊


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## Primmer

FMN - that's great news, so pleased!

Loki -how lovely to get mummy cards, sounds like a lovely day

Becs - hope your back is better soon and enjoy your celebration hearing and party.


----------



## moobags

Brilliant news forget me not so happy for you not long now till he is home and in your arms x

So we had a visit Tuesday and they confirmed yesterday they want to proceed just got to wait for dates etc but we are now officially linked to two little handsome blues.

Looks like there will be a few of us bringing little ones home around the same time.

It's a little cooler today thank God it's been lovely weather but uncomfortable at night.

Hope you are all well any advice or top survival tips from you ladies especially ones with young sib groups would be greatly appreciated.

Moo x


----------



## Loki Girl

Awww fab news for you too Moo bags. How old are your boys? Our daughter will be 20mths at beginning of Aug when we bring home her 8mth old brother. Have to say am only just getting used to parenting one so I'll be in same boat trying to get used to two little ones lol. Exciting times tho!!!!


----------



## Primmer

Moobags - that's great news!


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## Laws1612

Hi all....I'm so glad that the old timers are finally getting matched, it's felt like a long wait for me so god now how you girls have done it but it's worth it in the end....I guess people are right with your childern will come along you just have to be patient....easier said then done tho lol.....

Just want to congratulate all the new arrivals ones to come and ones that have been recently placed. 

It's hard at the start but I'm 4 months in and I'm not saying it's not hard but it's fab and wouldn't change it for the world.

All is good our end.....the eldest is now potty trained and is all down to my hard work...feel like a proper mum with my first achievement hehe....he's going to nursery three times a week and loves it and he's no longer speech delayed...

Little one is walking beginning to talk and running rings around me, he's so troublesome but I love it his smile makes it all worth it....
We had our first night away a few weeks ago and was great to spend some us time, I nearly forgot what it was hehe....

And we're moving house so it's all busy....

I am llurking reading all the updates just normally don't get time to post....
Can't wait to read even more news as intros start,,I'm so excited for you all.

Lots of love and if anyone needs any advice feel free to message me...

Xxxxx


----------



## ultrafirebug

Hi ladies, glad you are doing well. Had to fill in and send criminal records form to Israel embassy today as I spent a year in Israel when I was 19. Next sw visit is Monday. Hope you are all getting to enjoy the sunshine   x


----------



## Lorella

Moo - excellent news. Really excited for you. What lucky little boys and lucky mummy and daddy x

Laws - great to hear your update and things going well x

AFM - all great here! LO beginning to test the boundaries a little but all normal stuff....cheeky monkey! She's started swiping her hands around and says 'no' an awful lot but I've taught her to then give mummy a hug, so she's learning it's not really acceptable behaviour! 
We've had some paddling pool fun. Just ordered a Wendy house and cheap cooker to go in it ( as she has an expensive wooden kitchen role play already indoors). She just loves role play which is lovely to watch. 
She's made some little friends her own age which is really lovely too. I'm lucky that I have a few friends with kids same age as LO. It's so adorable seeing them play together. 

LO has been home 8 months now and I'm going back to work in just over 2 months. Time has really started to fly! 

Hope everyone is ok. Loads of good links/matches going on which is brilliant!

Xx


----------



## moobags

Thanks all its slowly sinking in just the next couple of months to get through with panel etc.

Boys are 2.5 and 18 months so very close in age going to have my work cut out but I can't wait.

Lorrella sounds like LO is becoming a real character it doesn't seem two mins since you announced on here you were bringing her home time goes so fast and is so precious.

X


----------



## Lorella

Thanks Moo. Yes she really is a character. Forgot to say we've had to ban the slide as she keeps standing on the rungs and rocking it back and forth and then standing on the top rung and doing 'look no hands!!' Also yesterday she climbed in her dolly cot and again stood with no hands and cheekily started to rock side to side! I know she's just experimenting and learning but seriously my heart is in my mouth! She is extremely quick with anything and it amazes me how much a 18 month old understands! X


----------



## becs40

Fab news moobags! Going to certainly have your hands full there!

Laws, nice to hear from you. Well done on the potting training! I'm not looking forward to that one I gave to say. I can't believe you been away for a night, the most we've managed is a few hours for dinner when he's asleep. We're going to London for the day in a couple of weeks to a trade show for my new business venture and already stressing about leaving him with my parents for that long! We'll be going down about 8.30 and coming back straight after lunch.

Lorella lo sounds gorgeous! It's so lovely to get to see their personalities developing. Our little man is so cheeky, he has an incredible sense of humour even at 1! He's also a very typical boy - launch first, regret later! Considering he's not yet walking his climbing skills are phenomenal so heaven help us when he is walking. We've just discovered he loves showers as well, discovered when I put him in the bath to hose him down with the shower handset and he shrieked with delight. That's been wonderful in this heat as really cools him off before bed.


----------



## Loki Girl

Aww Lorella she sounds like she's really coming along such a lovely update. 

We had our 1st placement review today and everything went well and everyone was happy. LO although still a few tantrums seems to be really settling down. She was a bit off Mon after DH back at work but by Tues all was good. Even tried another little group on Thurs and she loved it so I got some nice Mummy chat while she played!!!

Today we discussed the introductions for our little man. I'm a bit concerned about how much time actually we will be away from little pink. The 1st day not so bad but there is the planning meeting in morn (which I assume little pink not invited too) then we meet little man in afternoon for an hour which princess can't go so she's staying with my parents. The next day we go from 10-2pm on our own and princess stays with my parents. Then we go back at 6pm to observe bedtime routine and his last bottle but have no idea what time that is. My concern here is its all very well for my parents to look after princess but this is involving feeding her, putting her down for a nap and possibly even putting her to bed!!!! Considering we have to wait for princess to be asleep before putting her to bed will she do this with my parents? Anyways then next day I have to go at 7.30 but DH doesn't arrive till 10. He will leave princess with parents but then we are not back till after 6pm so I will be gone all day that day. I've never left her that long before and considering how she was when DH went back to work I'm a bit worried for my parents. Then the next day we have little man but then have to take him back at 7pm again leaving bedtime with parents. 

It's so hard. I obviously know we have to get to know little man and I know he has to have our attention instead of it being on our princess which is understandable but I do worry about her as she just seems to be settling. Do any of you have any thoughts? I'm going to ask about the naps etc and parents. I mean what if we practice but princess really doesn't go to sleep for them. Everyone is going to be exhausted and that's not going to be good for little man coming. I'm also concerned about me being gone the whole day as well. We are obviously going to start leaving her with my parents and it may all go fine but just thought we would maybe have shorter days or we would take turns seeing him not leave our little girl for huge chunks of time. I mean we are only just starting to understand her etc but my parents have only seen her 3 times so far but obviously this will build up. 

Am I panicking too much or do we just grit teeth do the best we can, pray little princess is ok and it doesn't upset her too much? Think it's just that one big day I am unhappy with as it's just so long she won't have seen me.


----------



## becs40

Obviously no personal experience here but personally I think you're right to worry. I wouldn't have been in the least bit happy with parents doing that amount of caring this early on, it goes against everything they tell you about forming attachment. I would have thought more time spent separately with him would be better even if it means longer intros then some joint time with your little girl too as she also has to accept his arrival!
We're 6 months in and the most my parents have done is 3 hours and that was when he was asleep, only 2 hours when he's been awake. They've never done bedtime, never given a bottle and only recently changed his nappy. Even now if he hurts himself and my mum is nearest she'll pick him up but give him straight to me to comfort him.
Obviously your little girl is older than our lo and may be different but it certainly sounds like you have similar concerns. I think stand up for yourself, you know what's right and I think there has to be a bit more middle ground for everyone as never going to be perfect in this situation.


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi Loki girl,

Just a quick one.....

Will they let you 'tag-team' it for any of it?
I know your situation is a bit different than ours, but we had to put our foot down a few times when they seemed to forget our little man's needs in addition to our little lady's.
Fortunately our lovely sw was completely on the same page as us, so we were a 'united front' on that score (different assessing & placing authorities).

We of course did a lot of it together, but for the night-time/early morning routine visits they agreed to let it just be me so that my dh could remain with our ds.

Just a suggestion, as this helped us a lot.

Anj x


----------



## Tw1nk82

Hope everyone is doing ok. We had to say goodbye to one of our fur babies on thursday it was so sad. You dont realise how much of an impact they have on our lives. So gutted that LO wont get to meet him xxx


----------



## Norma12

Sorry to hear that Twink. Sending big hugs. My fur baby is my world, I don't know how I'd cope if he wasnt around, so My heart goes out to you. 
LO will experience your love & you can show him pictures of your fur baby when he's older xx


----------



## pyjamas

Went to a Summer Adoption picnic today organised by our LA. was looking forward to it but we only stayed for about an hour as it was very disorganised and very hot! Went and had picnic in my mum and dads garden instead which was much nicer! Would it be a good idea to get some sort of reins for xx when LO is much quicker on feet? xxx


----------



## Kylie47

A massive congratulations Forgetmenot!! Such lovely news.

Twink so sorry about your fur baby. It's a lovely idea of Norma's to show your LO photos when older.

Loki girl hope you get your intros plan sorted soon, Anjelissa's suggestions sound like a really good compromise.
Xxx


----------



## becs40

Ah twink so sorry to hear about fur baby, it's so hard losing them. 

Loki, shame about the picnic. Ours is end of August and we're looking forward to it. It was photos taken at last years picnic by our sw of our little man that were the first pics we saw of him! His foster carers went with him as they also have adopted 2 boys. Hope they go again this year as will be lovely to spend some time with them. They're coming to little mans celebration party a few weeks before though and that will be the first time they've seen him since we carried him out of their house a few days before Christmas! I've sent emails and photos but it will be emotional for all concerned for them to see him now. Desperately hoping he'll be walking by then as well, it's a month away and he's so close now!


----------



## Anjelissa

Massive hugs Twink, I know how difficult it is, so terribly sad , they are part of the family after all 
x x x


----------



## littlepoppy86

Loki just on intros...we had baby boy home 6m before intros with sibling, he was with us everyday...

We put our foot down to shorten intros and also on saying that we needed to tag team the evening intro plans so hub could put eldest to bed and vice versa. 

It's a massive change for your daughter initially and then introducing baby bro so surely she needs to be involved in every step so that she too can get used to him during intros x


----------



## ChocolateCake

Becs, Lorelli and Locki - thank you for your comments about telling neighbours. we had a little chat after seeing your posts and decided we will only tell our close neighbours and just say we arn't announcing to anyone else as we don't know them. Neighbour the other side almost goes out of her way not to say hi etc so don't feel I need to offer anything to anyone else. Apart from that take it as it comes I guess

thanks again

Just waiting for our DBS so it seems our intro days this week may be delayed. so excited too


----------



## Anjelissa

Loki,

Ps....to my msg re/intros with 2nd child, we also did the same as Littlepoppy with regards to intro length.
Ours were originally set for 14 days and in the end it was 10 days.
All (including our SW and FC) agreed that it was going so well, but everyone was starting to feel the strain, getting tired, and it would have started to have a negative impact on the process (not just for our dd, but for our ds, and for FC's 3 children).
It was only her placing authority on a different page, and they _finally_ listened to the rest of us 

Tag-teaming some of it and shortening if necc' is defo the way to go.
At the end of the day, ALL the children involved have to be considered, not JUST the one under the particular LA's care at that time, unfortunately this is too often 'conveniently' overlooked when it suits 

Hope you get it sorted hun 
x x x


----------



## littlepoppy86

Anjelessa so true about the children getting overlooked. Ours was with the same FC and originally they said eldest wasn't allowed back in her house so soon after placement so had to stay with a relative for 5 nights solid..Errrrm I don't think so! Imagine at panel I said after 6 months placement I'm off for a 5 day jolly leaving my son with his grandma they'd have a field day. Yet when it suits them it's fine...

Loki you need to do what feels right for you and your little family, and your eldest needs are so important at this early time xx


----------



## Loki Girl

Hi ladies just a quickie as DH is bathing LO. Just wanted to say thank u for all your replies and glad to know it's just not me panicking!!! Have drafted a long email to our SW for her to get tomorrow with a copy of LO's schedule which they asked us to do so they can see. Have told them that at this stage we do not feel comfortable with someone else even grandparents putting her to bed. We feel one of us should be back to do the evening bedtime. We have a nice little routine going now and feel that LO is responding well and getting better. We want her to start self settling like she would do at FC's but upto now haven't been able to leave her at all. If she opens eyes and you are not there she will scream till you come back. Just recently we have been getting her into cot while not fully asleep and as long as she can see us has been fine. I feel this is a step in the right direction of her feeling secure and don't want to ruin any of it especially with baby blue coming. I have also told them I am not prepared to spend 11hrs over one day being away from my daughter. I am the primary caregiver after all. She has me all day since she came on 10th June and suddenly you want me to be away from her from 7.00am till 6.30pm!!!!! Not happening lol. Have asked can we tag team or can I come back for at least a couple of hours in the afternoon to be with her and also to give my parents a break. I mean I know they are there for support but my dad is 76 and my mom is 73 I never wanted them to b caregivers lol. They are not unfit but not exactly spring chickens either lol. 

It's amazing just what a u turn they are doing after originally telling us no family contact for 4-6 weeks. Honestly!!! But will see what they say. Our SW is brilliant and I know she will be on our side. At least for another 2 weeks till she goes on maternity and we get another one seeing us through little blue's intros!!!

So will see what they say but fingers crossed. Our intros were shorter at 7 days where as little pinks was over 10 days but wouldn't mind them being a tad longer but shorter days. Guess will be better when we find out little mans schedule as well as then will see how late he goes to bed lol!!!

Thank u again!!!


----------



## Lorella

Hugs Twink xxx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Thanks everyone. It hit me hard but hoping everyday gets easier xxx


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## Ozzycat

Sending you hugs twink x
loki I definitely think ur doing the right thing... Ur little lady needs u just as much as ur little man x
Hope everyone else has had a lovely weekend... Weve been putting the finishing touches to our little girls nursery... it's so cute x.. panel is 2 weeks tomorrow eeeeekkkkkkkkk!


----------



## becs40

We had a lovely day today taking little man on his first family picnic! He's a good eater in that he'll eat most things but not great in the way he eats! If he has a sandwich I give it to him in small bites as he tends to play with anything not actually in his mouth but today he sat on the blanket helping himself to his sandwich from the foil and his water like a real little boy. Only a tiny amount never made it to his mouth! 
He's still terrorising the dog and I keep trying to take his hand to show him how to be gentle with her but he just snatches it away or closes it to make a fist so he can't actually stroke her. I hope we can get through to him soon, she's so good with him and she is now learning to move away from him when she sees him coming! Luckily she goes to work with dh as I'd go up the wall trying to keep him away from her every 5 seconds and she gets to sleep in the office in peace and quiet bless her.


----------



## ultrafirebug

Hi ladies, hope you are all well. Todays social worker visit went well. Next visit is on 4th aug and all being well we can progress to stage 2 and hopefully be approved by the end of the year x


----------



## Forgetmenot

Well we are done! I have finished work.... and on leave, wow, wow, wow!

Still don't believe it!!  I have just had a picture message on a beautiful sleeping baby saying night night mummy and daddy, one more sleep til I meet you..... Crying AGAIN!!  I am not sure how I will compose myself tomorrow.... Top tips ladies?!

I have got the hormones without the pregnancy!! 

This is it... Finally x for once, I am lost for words xx


----------



## Loki Girl

Aww forgetmenot I was nearly crying reading your post. How lovely!!!! I was really nervous first time I met little one but trust me once you are there and concentrating on him you will be fine. I just found it very hard to be referred to as mummy and daddy. I was sitting there thinking who are they talking about it's not us hahaha!!!

Enjoy meeting your little boy for the 1st time. It's a very surreal thing but this is it - the start of finally being a Mummy. Can't wait to ready your update - let us know how you get on


----------



## becs40

Ah FMN no sleep for you tonight I'm guessing! 9.00am is going to seem so late tomorrow, and ever after to be honest lol! 

You'll have emotional moments I'm sure but you'll be too busy enjoying him and learning everything!

Have an amazing day tomorrow.


----------



## Tw1nk82

Good luck tomorrow FMN xxxx


----------



## Kylie47

Congrats on starting your adoption leave FMN!! And have the most wonderful time meeting YOUR baby tomorrow      xx


----------



## notgivingup

Good luck FMN. Enjoy it and keep a diary cause our intro days are such a blur but it's lovely to read it back. Congrats!


----------



## moobags

Good luck fgmn enjoy every minute Hun xxxx


----------



## Ozzycat

Sending you massive hugs for your special day tomorrow xxx


----------



## liveinhope

Enjoy FMN! As of today all the waiting is forgotten....


----------



## Barbados Girl

Enjoy! Precious times...


----------



## Forgetmenot

Damn those sw'ers, but it is such a cliche..... All was forgotten once I held him in my arms.

Just wow.  I cannot even begin to put into words how today made me feel..... We met our darling little boy, and as soon as I set eyes on him, I was off!!  Then cuddles straight away, my heart skipped a beat.  We were able to walk into the lounge with him and sit on the floor and begin to marvel at this little boy who is my son.  The son I never thought I would have... and within that moment, we were complete xx I can't even describe the feelings.... Just amazing.  He's so perfect in everyway, we couldn't have made him better! I can't believe he's ours.... We are truly truly blessed xx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Lovely update fmn. I cant believe that will be me in 7 weeks. Keep the updates coming xxx


----------



## ultrafirebug

FMN really pleased it went well x


----------



## Forgetmenot

It was more than we ever hoped it would be.  Going to bed, more content than I have ever been.  Can't wait for the sun to rise and I can be with my boy again x


----------



## littlepoppy86

Fmn you've brought tears to my eyes with me remembering the feeling I had from meeting my eldest! We just got in the car after and was smiling from ear to ear. Thank you for reminding me, sometimes when dealing with a cheeky tantrum 2 year old you forget those everlasting memories xx


----------



## becs40

I echo that sentiment too LP, how easy it is to forget those precious moments amongst just getting on with life.
Glad it was everything and more than you'd hoped for, I hope today is just as perfect. It won't be long before he's back with you in his new bedroom and you'll sit watching him sleep! 😊


----------



## Primmer

FMN - that sounds just perfect, hope today is just lovely and soon he will be home with you and you will be a family, real heart warming stuff xx


----------



## Ozzycat

Ahhhhh FMN I hope it just keeps getting better for u xxx


----------



## Lorella

Fantastic FMN! Xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Aww forgetmenot. I am just so chuffed at reading your posts. Your little man sounds like a gem. Won't be long before he is home for good. 

Well we got revised plan for introductions which is better. Still not ideal because everything we protested about they have just got DH staying longer at home with little princess and me still being away with little man!! I didn't want to be away from her for 11hrs so they have now shortened that to 8hrs   So I still have to go at 7.30am but instead of DH joining me at 10 he is now joining me at 1pm and we can both come back at 4 rather than 6 so it is better we get evening with her but I still will be away for most of day. On another day they had us both going at 7am. I mean come on we would have to leave at 6.30 meaning princess would only be just getting up and my parents would have to be there that early and deal with us leaving and princess and dog walking!!! I questioned that and they just said oh DH can just go later!! At least they have agreed one of us will be home to put princess to bed. So are my concerns justified in the grand scheme of getting to know little man. I just think for 8 weeks I have been the primary caregiver for princess. DH would of been back at work for 6 weeks so he rarely has princess on his own tho he is more than capable and doesn't mind. But will this change upset princess with me suddenly not being around and then when I am back there will be a baby and will she be jealous or want me more cus I haven't been with her. I'm trying to tell myself it's only for a few days as they are adamant they don't want to stretch it more than a week cus it confuses young babies. Our SW is coming with our new SW on Tues so will have a face to face chat then. 

We also got schedule for little man's day. Jeez I sometimes wonder what is wrong with people. He is the only foster child with a single foster carer. He gets up and has his bottle in his bouncy chair watching CBeebies   Bear in mind he is 6mths old at mo. He only has half hour sleep in morning. He doesn't sit up yet but sits in his bouncy chair. At night he has dinner about 5pm then has his milk sitting in bouncy chair and watches TV till he goes to bed at 7pm.  Apparently he likes In the night Garden, Waybaloo, Clangers, Bing bunny and Mr Tumble!!!!!!!! He's like 6mths old seriously?!!! No wonder he can't sit up if all he does is sit in a bouncy chair watching TV   He won't go to bed anymore but falls asleep in his chair in front of TV. I'm looking at our fairly small lounge and imaging him trying to go to sleep in a chair with a toddler and a big Labrador around!!!! I have enough issues with princess not going to bed before she is asleep now got another one who won't do it. I thought foster carers got paid to care for these children not stick them in front of TV and let adopters deal with the mess!!! So will be continuing trying to convince a stubborn 19mths old she can walk without holding onto my finger and a 7mth old baby who can't sit up yet!!! Nothing like a bit of work   

Anyways on my own tonight as DH off to cinema so better get LO to bed. Then I have a date with a certain Mr Grey and a big bar of chocolate


----------



## Barbados Girl

Sigh. It is not great, is it Loki? Our Pixie's FC was so good, treated him like her own- lots of playing, interaction and stimulation, baby groups etc. He was crawling at eight months!


----------



## becs40

I wouldn't be overly worried Loki I'm sure it won't take long to get lo into your routine. Our little man sat up alone 1 day before he was 7 months and crawling at 8 1/2 months. He didn't have a routine and was left in the pram in the living room in the evening until he was put up in his cot at 9.30pm! Within a couple of days he was going to bed at 6.30pm.


----------



## Loki Girl

Thanks ladies. Becs that makes me feel better. Hopefully with an active toddler to watch all day he won't need the TV   

Well of course my evening didn't go to plan. LO was starting to get bit upset and I thought she was tired so she was sitting on my lap while we found the CBeebies goodnight song which is our routine and then she has her milk. She was putting her fingers in her mouth when suddenly she was sick everywhere   It was all over me, all over her, all down settee and on floor and all over her toy cat she was holding. She was crying poor thing, I was dripping, trying to sort her out. What a mess!!! Finally got everyone clean (apart from Jess the cat as she wouldn't let me have him so need to creep back into her room later and retrieve him for a wash lol) but then didn't want her to give her her milk and put her to bed after just being sick. So we stayed up for a bit and she seemed ok so just put her down. Don't fancy staying up till 11 so Mr Grey will have to wait for another day lol.


----------



## becs40

Oh bless her, we've not had sick to deal with yet - other than the usual baby sick! Plenty of dhiarhoea though! 😁 little man has also just discovered he's a little man shall we say! Even dh was shocked these things happen so young lol! He's also just started really loving his teddies, he liked them before but wasn't too fussed but he has a comforter that he now wants all the time - it stinks too so I'm going to have to sneak it away for a wash soon before it walks out of its own accord.
I think I'm guilty of too much CBeebies, I kind of put it on for a few minutes whilst I make breakfast for him and I forget about it and it stays on. Until recently it was just background noise and he never paid much attention but now I'm noticing him drawn into it more so I'll switch it off then.


----------



## ultrafirebug

Loki and Becs - your stories have taken me back to when DS was young. To think I want to go through all of this again lol its totally worth it though x


----------



## Forgetmenot

Sorry for the me post.....
Day two was amazing!  I am using amazing a lot!
Lo is really happy and smilie.  He's happy to be held, fed, watered and changed!  Just lovely.  We took him to toys are us and he wanted a 'bing' toy.... Just learnt who he is!! Then we went to supermarket to buy him lots of essentials with FC.  This was nice today.  She has made this so easy for us.
Took him for a walk, weird, but fun.  I know we are just going to have so much fun together.
Although only two days in, FC is going to be deverstated.  She has such a connection to Lo as had to fight for him very early on in his life and has had such a positive impact of him.  He lights up when he sees her.  I know this will transfer to us, but does make me sad.  I don't think we can ever thank her enough for what she has done for him, he has had the best start ever to life!
Today we are going swimming, can you believe, which we are very excited about!!  It's a short day today and a 7 am start.  We then have a review already this afternoon.
All in all though, we feel it's going so well.
We feel totally blessed that Lo will be our son.  He's just fantastic!!
I spent the night reading about weaning, as haven't got a scooby do, but we will learn together, so many firsts to experience.... I now have the best job in the world, love it xxxx


----------



## becs40

Ah FMN sounds brilliant! Our little mans foster carer was the same and it was a very emotional goodbye! She's coming to his party in a few weeks which we're all looking forward to. I can't wait to see her reaction to him again as he's changed so much.
Weaning is a complete minefield and there'll be a million and one different suggestions but you find your way. I couldn't do baby led weaning as a bit OCD and would gave gone into overdrive at the mess! We have a good balance though, he eats spoon fed stuff and quite a bit of finger food. He'll now have things like omelette, toast, dry Cheerios, breadsticks etc that he'll feed himself and the sloppy stuff is by spoon!


----------



## Primmer

Has anyone else been in situation where bm considering appealing care order or placement order prior to matching panel taking place?


----------



## moobags

FMN wonderful news it really is x

Primmer BM of our boys claims she has lodged an appeal we know she is going to fight the adoption all the way but we have been told by their SW that the case is really strong lots of lies and witness statements so we have to have faith in the system.

It's hard on one hand it's good to know that birth family love their children enough to want to fight for them even though they have been given chance after chance but for adopters it's just another thing hanging over you.

I would suggest talk it over with your worker or the child's worker make sure they have a good strong case.

We were told at our meeting with FF and SW that there are more and more birth families are appealing decisions so it could be something a lot of us could be faced with in the coming months.

Hang in there Hun we are trying to not let it worry us too much at this point.

Moo x


----------



## Laws1612

primer this has happened to us and we have had the boys in placement nearly 6 months..all going thro courts now!!! xxx


----------



## RocketJ

Sorry for being so sporadic in my posting - it has been so lovely to read about your intros FMN, and really encouraging to see that so many of us are being linked and will be doing panel and intros over the next few months.

I've just got in from a day meeting the medical advisor, foster carers and contact supervisor. Very emotional and quite overwhelming at times, especially hearing details about the history which I had not previously known, and seeing lots of pics and videos of LO! Just finding it frustrating that I still won't meet him for another 6 weeks - think I might have to start a count down!


----------



## Barbados Girl

FMN, it is ALL about Bing, you need to get right on that   There is a theory out there that Bing and Pandoo are LAC and Flop and Ama are their foster carers! You watch a few episodes and you will get what I mean.

Having a good FC is a priceless gift for adopters. I never forget how much we owe Pixie's.


----------



## Forgetmenot

Thanks BG.  We picked up a pressie last night from Lo so we can get it engraved this afternoon or Monday.  It's going to be a sad good bye for her.  She is very attached.  Do keeps saying, remember, she's not adopting him!!

Well quick intros update, I still can't believe we are on intros!!

We signed for Lo yesterday afternoon as had our first review.  All sounded very tick boxy to us.  No one that helpful!!

Yesterday morning started at theirs, with us feeding, changing etc!  We did the school run with FC.  He kids love baby too, so had to let one of them push the pram as they were upset!  But all was good.  We then took Lo swimming, this was not on the plan!  But we said it was 'low key' enough!!  The plan is funny!!  He's a water baby, splashed floated etc, can't wait to take him next week!!  Got to experience selflessness first... Zoe get the child dress while dripping wet lol!,  was ok, I didn't mind.

He is giving us the biggest smiles now, and I still can't believe we will get to keep him next week!!  How did we get so lucky after all my moaning, just amazing!!  Then we had a review. 

Baby is coming to our house this morning, then he gets taken away and the afternoon on our own.  Take him home for bath and bed.  Then Sunday he's all ours for the day and bedtime routine, going to be amazing!  It's good as going to have to paint his hands and feet for FC pressie!! Phew.

Anyway, I best go..... Just wanted to update.  It's been lovely experiencing what you guys have said and felt, never believing, but it can happen xxx


----------



## Lorella

Great FMN!
My niece loves Bing. LO not into it yet but she will sit through a whole episode of 'My Pet and Me' quite happily 😊x


----------



## Forgetmenot

I don't think he gets bing,but chewing on his ears!!

We had a great day with baby, he came home and saw his new home, went down for a nap in his cot, went out for a walk, and took him back for bath and bed.  He is giving us the biggest smiles, so so blessed x

Hope everyone else is ok x


----------



## Gertie5050

my little man loves bing, gets really excited when it starts, they also do bing toys now so will have to get him bing, he also loves the twirlywoos, but I think that is because they end up doing very mischievous things like he does xxxx


----------



## Forgetmenot

Hi all, I know this has all been done before, but what did people get FC on placement day from lo?  Or did you do something different? Our lo couldn't have been luckier, and they are so gonna miss him, we want to do something nice for the family, but don't want to over step the mark. Any ideas? Xx


----------



## Primmer

Spent the weekend moving the wardrobe from what will be lo's room into our study. It was quite a big job as we had to empty it and then take it all apart and then put it all together again in the other room as it is a big three door wardrobe and it would fit out in the hallway! The room which will be lo's room now looks a lot bigger with the wardrobe gone. There is still a set of drawers with paperwork in which I am going to go through next weekend and clear out and move to the study that which needs keeping and throw out that which doesn't need to be kept anymore. 
Feels like a positive step t at least have made a start on the room!


----------



## Cbelle1

Feeling the need to vent- sorry in advance!!!! 

Our panel has been put back by at least 2 weeks because our sw only works 2 days a week and hasn't time to write our par up. Grrrrrrr

And breathe!

X


----------



## Ozzycat

Big day for us tomorrow. ..
medical advisor in the morning then onto transition training and then meeting the foster carers... it's all happening so quickly...
Last day at work on Friday, panel Monday,  intros the following Monday!
The nursery is nearly finished and although we said we wouldn't buy anything till after panel we have a house full of donated stuff and me and hubby keep buying really cute clothes and books 😆😃😍
I'm in denial at the moment... it's easier than trying to believe this is really happening!
Lov to u lovely ladies x
good luck tomorrow FMN
Chelsea it is rubbish but it will all be forgotten when we get matched xxx


----------



## Ozzycat

Sorry chellebelle... stupid predictive text has called u Chelsea!!! X


----------



## pringle

Good news Ozzycat  hope all goes well tomorrow. We to have been linked 

Xx


----------



## becs40

Good luck ozzycat! Hope all goes well. 😊


----------



## Forgetmenot

Good luck ozzy x


----------



## Tw1nk82

Good luck ozzycat xxxx

Congratulations pringle xxx


----------



## Primmer

Ozzycat - good luck for today, look forward to hearing how you get on later 

Chellebelle - so frustrating, but however annoying it is it us better to delay now and get the par report correct and the best it can be before panel x


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Hi Everyone

Hope everyone is well.  I haven't had much time to post lately as I've had so much to do to get ready to meet our son and daughters! 

We were linked with a sibling group and we got to matching panel on 27 July, Intros start on 17 Aug.

Everything seems right and we have a really good feeling. We have been to their current school, met the fosters carers and their contact supervisor.  We have been to see their new school and new teachers and the house is nearly ready for them to come home.  They are currently apart so it will be nice for them to all be back together, they know they are going to be adopted but they don't know it is us yet.

I see a lot of us are up for matching panel over the next few weeks, it's all so exciting!

Sorry for no personals, I've got loads of pages to read back through. LOL

xxx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Fantastic news Paula so happy for you xxx


----------



## Ozzycat

Morning campers....
Paula wow 3 amazing, good luck with everything x
well our feet haven't touched the ground... Wednesday was draining but amazing... no worries from the medical advisor tho we were warned that we were going to need strong arms as she's a proper chunky monkey 😆
then straight onto a day of transition training... We really can't fault our LA their training and support has been amazing... and then it was on to meet the foster carers...
We loved them.  2 of the loveliest people you could meet... they have 7 children and we actually asked if they would adopt us!!! They love our little lady and both welled up just talking about her..
they showed us photos and videos but it was weird we just felt we were looking at photos of someone else's baby.. not our little girl!!

Last day at work yesterday and then last night after plying DH with copious amounts of alcohol we managed to do the dvd for little lady..

Away in london tonight to celebrate our wedding anniversary and then my girlfriends are throwing me a babyshower tomorrow...
panel Monday eeeeekkkkkkkkk 
Barcelona Tuesday 
meeting birth mum Friday 
intros Monday 

And in between all that we need to fit in sleeping and shopping!!!!
Im thinking it might be another 18 years before we finally get to have a rest 😃

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend xxx


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Ozzycat - enjoy London, have some adult time before you get on that mad crazy train!!!

It's all so exciting!

Not long before intros for you.

X


----------



## Ozzycat

Big fat yes at matching panel 😍😍😍
intros start a week today... so excited xxx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Congratulations ozzycat xxxx


----------



## Laws1612

Congratulations. Enjoy your week of freedom...it really is happening xxxx


----------



## becs40

Congrats ozzycat! Not long now. 😊


----------



## Kylie47

Congrats Ozzycat! Brilliant news xxx


----------



## Loki Girl

Congrats Ozzy. Enjoy your last week before the fun starts lol

Forgetmenot - how are things with you? Is your little man home yet?


----------



## Lorella

Huge congrats Ozzycat xxx


----------



## pyjamas

Had  another review  meeting today. All agreed that we could apply for Adoption Order. Hopefully, even if BM contests it could all be done and dusted before Christmas. Never have time at the moment to come on here regularly but its great to read so much good news when I do! xx


----------



## Paulapumpkin

Fab news Ozzycat.

I bet you can't wait to get the adoption order PJ!

How is everyone else doing?

I've finished the photo books for panel on Monday, we are staying in a nice hotel the night before.


----------



## Loki Girl

Fab news Pyjamas. Won't be long before she is officially yours  

Paula that sounds nice before the mayhem begins   

We have to start next week talking about our little man to princess. We have new photos which they have blown up and laminated for us and our SW said we could use them as placemats lol. Think I will just stick them to wall!!! Bought the Lamaze talking photo butterfly for him and need to amend our DVD which we did for little pink for him so just need to include princess. Personally I don't think at 7mths he's going to watch it or have a clue what it is but I guess he may pick up on our faces and voices. I actually can't wait to bring him home now. Just think I can't get little pink into a proper routine till we can fit him in. Bedtime is my biggest worry as he wont go to bed by himself either so will have two of them to juggle!!! We are slowly changing little pink and she was great for a couple of nights then clued in as to what was happening and has put up some resistance last 2 nights. It doesn't last long so we don't give in. She has been getting better and realising she's not getting her own way all the time. She also hasn't been quite so clingy which is good. Unfortunately she has gone back to waking at 4.45 so that's not so good for Mummy lol. 

So have any of you re met up with foster carers? We have to meet ours after 6 weeks so are meeting them tomorrow for dinner. I'm a bit apprehensive of little one's reaction and also a lot of her problems are down to them lol. I'm not blaming them they are a lovely couple just a little too old to be dealing with a toddler I think. Have just got her at 19mths able to climb up a slide and sit on her bottom at the top!!!! They could never do a slide with her   She's getting used to being in a noisier family and whereas she used to cry if me or Dh shouted to each other if in different rooms now she's fine with it. She was always kept in their lounge with one of them and the stairgate locked and they used to text each other if they wanted anything so they wouldn't shout   She also didn't mind the vacuum the other day either cus I couldn't even get that out when she first came. So big improvements all the time. Her speech is excellent and listening to her somewhat attempt the Frozen soundtrack while she is in the bath is soooo cute.  She still refuses to walk on her own and refuses to try so we have backed off a little bit. Got the health visitor coming next week so will have a chat with her. 

But things are improving as they have been tough. Just need to bring my little man home now


----------



## becs40

Loki sounds like it's going well, I'm sure you're apprehensive about things getting unsettled when little man arrives but sure you'll find your way quite quickly.
We haven't met foster carers, it was never suggested to us to be honest. We were asked if we had been in touch with them which we had. We'll be seeing them in a couple of weeks as they're coming to our celebration party so that will be interesting!


----------



## Flash123

loki - it sounds magical. I bet you cant wait to have your two cherubs home where they should be. Our wee man was 7 months when they started introducing us to him via our talking photo album and you would be amazed how much they understand and will recognise- even at that young age. We have a video of the fc getting out the album and him getting all excited and kissing it - its magical. Also, he was very 'offish' when he met people for the first time but when he met us he gave us the biggest, most beautiful smile and dragged himself over to his album. I honestly think he recognised both our faces and our voices - but that may just be me romanticising the whole precious memory lol.


----------



## becs40

They definitely know from the album at that age flash. Our lo was 6 months and one of the pictures and recording was dh saying in a funny voice "and this is Geoffrey the giraffe!" When dh said it to him in person within half an hour of meeting him the recognition was clear and he thought it was hilarious. Dh wore that one out quite quickly though lol!


----------



## Loki Girl

Thanks ladies - guess it is important then tho I won't be telling DH about any funny voices hahaha. Well happy to report dinner with foster carers went well. LO was quite shy to begin with but they said that's how she should be. She soon warmed up tho and showed off some true colours with some ripping of the colouring paper and some light screaming for attention before dinner   Soon calmed her down tho and got her distracted with her books. After that all went well and they really enjoyed seeing her and said she looks like she's doing really well. They said she also had a period of screaming for attention with them so that was actually good to hear lol. We had 2 days of non screaming and thought the phase was over but today we are back at it. I wouldn't mind if she does it if I was ignoring her but we can be in middle of doing something fun together and she will just get up and scream in my face. It's weird!!! Sometimes I tell her and she just sits there and really frowns at me then does it again, other times I just leave and try and look busy then engage her when she's talking quietly. It's all trial and error lol but we will get there. She is doing really well and she loves books and stories and knows some of the words to some of the That's Not My.... Books which are her favourite. It's really encouraging listening to her say all these new words and try saying stuff


----------



## Lous mummy

A quick update from me.. 

I am now linked with a beautiful little pink, she is so blooming perfect. 

Panel is booked for 21st September and I'll meet her about two weeks after that! I'm so excited


----------



## becs40

Wow Lous mummy, fabulous news! Congratulations. 😊


----------



## Forgetmenot

Some really exciting news congrats all up coming mummies.

Still feels very weird that, me, is actually a mummy.

Dh bathed the boy wonder tonight and I had to take him off him after his bottle to snuggle him down, smell him and just rock him, and just wow, cry again of just sheer disbelief.  I can't believe I get to be his mummy, he's just the most beautiful boy, who already has changed so much in two and a half weeks.

I am shattered.  Started weaning and trying to keep the bugger asleep, but I don't mind really.

It's so much harder than I thought, but he is gonna bring us so much joy (maybe not to our woofer  ) and am getting used to getting organised.  We get out and about every day, which I think is key.  Dh is back at work and I am stay at home mummy.

So we have had our first sw meeting and she was talking about adoption order.  She woke up my boy.  Am like he's asleep in his pram... U can see him, why?! It's not like he can say he hates it!!  Made me laugh!!  

So anyway just wanted to let you know we are alive..... Thank you to those who have messaged, take care all xx


----------



## Tw1nk82

Fab news Lous mummy so exciting xxx

Loki and FMN so glad to hear everything is going well. I can't believe in under 6 weeks we will be getting to meet our little one xxxx


----------



## pringle

Hi all  

Great news Lous mummy 

Pringles x


----------



## moobags

Hey all congrats Lous mummy how old it little one.

FMN I think getting out and about is a great idea plus you need to show off your gorgeous boy.

Hello to everyone else just on our hols at the mo so can't get on much.

We have medical advisor meeting booked for 17 August and hoping to meet FC same day, still waiting for a confirmed panel date aim is for September but not getting out hopes up.

X


----------



## Lorella

Great news everyone xx


----------



## Ozzycat

Wow what an emotional day... We met with birth mum.. she was very sweet and told us loads about little ladies family but she also said that she can't wait for her to turn 18 so little lady can come and find her... that really upset me x
It felt like I was taking her baby away from her 😢
the social workers were great and it was a very positive meeting, according to our sw it was one of the most positive that she'd done but I found it very emotional x
a photo was taken with birth mum and it will be lovely to show our daughter  (still feels so weird saying this)  when she's older x
last weekend together as just a twosome Soooooo darn excited x
3 more sleeps till we meet our princess xxx


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## RocketJ

Wow, how exciting! The 34 more sleeps I have to endure seems like an eternity, though I am sure they will fly. Do you feel ready?

I'm glad the meeting today went well, it sounds like a very draining experience, especially that comment! I just found out that bm has agreed to meet me - I've been told all along that it wouldn't be an option, then out of the blue they have said it is happening. Got to get through panel first though...


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## Lorella

Hi Ozzycat 
Great thing to do meeting BM. Well done for getting through an emotional meeting. I am not surprised you felt emotional after that comment. I would of too. I guess she is just trying to hold on to that little bit of hope she has left of seeing her BC again. I had very similar emotions to you after meeting our LO BM. Felt guilty for a long time after but now I don't. Once they are totally settled and a part of your family you won't think about BPs so much. 

We also had photo taken and what I did was get a card the same one as have to BM with settling in letter. Then I wrote up meeting and put pic inside. SW thought it was a nice thought as I can say 'this is the same card I gave your BM' when the time comes to look at it. 

Very excited for you!

Little update from me - LO has now been living with us the majority of her life! Feels good to get to that point. She is amazing xxx


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## Forgetmenot

Advise needed ladies in getting one to sleep at night.  He is amazing in the day, getting better and better.  We feel so very lucky, however, his sleep and waking at night is getting worse.  We thought with the introduction of solids he would be sleeping better, but in fact he is waking more!!  I know it is a habit, well appears to be, but how do we break it without going crazy!!
Thanks xx


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## Barbados Girl

When Pixie wakes up we tend to get him in bed with us if late. Even when they are settling well it is a huge move and they can benefit from the closeness. I think you have a tiddler so will need to check the safety guidelines if you are going to try it- we have a great big toddler so less of a concern

You say you are weaning but I assume you haven't reduced his milk yet? He will need to be well established with food before you do that. Pixie also used to wake during a growth spurt and so we would give him an extra bottle but usually watered down.

Those are the two things that work for us: cuddles and more milk!


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## becs40

Hi FMN, 
We had exactly the same with our little man when he arrived. He went from sleeping through the night prior to move (and weaning) to waking 4-5 times and was often awake solidly from 3-5am. I'm not sure we actually found a solution or whether it was just time that resolved it but at the time things had started to get better I stumbled across this article and it all made perfect sense! She was describing exactly what we were experiencing.
http://theadoptionsocial.com/blogless-blogging/problems-with-sleep-in-adoption/
BG I would have loved to do some co sleeping with little man but if he's not in his own cot he won't sleep, it's playtime! I think once in the entire time he's been here I managed to get him down for an afternoon nap in our bed with me but it took an hour and a half of being crawled over as a climbing frame before the admitted defeat- by this time it was 4.30pm!


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## pyjamas

We had a meeting arranged to meet BM and BD, separately as they are no longer a couple, but both cancelled the day before. BM said she had to go to job centre! SW is arranging another meeting but if they cant be bothered to turn up again then we wont do anymore. LOs sleeping habits changed from sleeping through till 6am with FC to waking 4-5 times a night. Tried various strategies but none worked. Eventually now wakes at about 4am, has bottle and then goes back till 6-8am. xx


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## Ozzycat

On route to meet our little girl I can't believe this is finally happening 😍


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## Primmer

Ozzycat - how exciting! good luck for today


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## Sun Flower

Ozzycat - enjoy every second   x


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## Loki Girl

Aww enjoy every second Ozzy. It's amazing!!!!!!


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## becs40

I hope it's been everything you ever dreamed of Ozzycat!


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## Ozzycat

OMG best day ever.... We were due to meet little ladies sw outside the foster carers house at 11 for a 45minute session to simply observe... 11.05 and no ones turned up so we knocked and there was our little girl ❤
no sw ever called or turned up! But amazing for us.. we were straight on the floor and 2hrs later we only left because we had a planning meeting... she was giggling, laughing holding my hands and doing row row ur boat... she loved her transition teddy and were all sure she recognised us from the photos and dvd... shes simply gourgous and perfect and already we can't wait to go back and see her x
it turns out 2 sw's were meant to attend today, our daughters and the foster carers. .. at the meeting they both admitted they forgot! On all days!!! Thank gd we decided to go in anyway....
Can't wait for tomorrow ❤


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## Lorella

That is terrible they forgot Ozzycat but what an amazing day for you! So pleased it went so well xx


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## becs40

How fabulous ozzycat! So pleased for you. Much nicer without the sw's I'm sure 😊


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## Loki Girl

Glad to hear all went well Ozzy. Hope rest of the intros fly by and she will soon be home where she belongs


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## teamug

Hi All, hope everything is good with you all, sorry no personals not been on here in a while so lots to catch up on

Just an update for you all, we went to matching panel today (finally) and got a unanimous yes! we get to meet our Daughter on Thursday to start intros


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## Ozzycat

Amazing teamug... xxx
how old is she?
We started intros today... amazing xx


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## becs40

Fabulous teamug! Congrats!


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## Forgetmenot

Ozzy, it's just amazing isn't it.  Not one can describe that first meeting, it's truly intense and magical.

Teamug, congrats... Roll on Thursday!

I am shattered.... Lo being a bugger with his sleep.  We are waiting for daddy to be on holiday, then it's baby boot camp!!  Only joking, I think he is unsettled, maybe anxious.  He's just been so great so not sure.  He had what I thought looked like a night terror the other night, but he's too young I would have thought, but maybe missing FC or finally sensing something is different and not changing back.

He's very happy though in general.  We had our sw check yesterday. One more check before first review.  Did everyone still have weekly or fortnightly visits after that?

Always something to worry about.  Hope everyone else is ok..... Don't know what I did with myself before the arrival of the boy!!


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## Loki Girl

FMN - it's exactly what we had. LO was perfect for a week, routine stayed the same etc then she decided she wasn't sleeping, was playing up in day etc. it's taken us a long time and am just feeling that things are resettling again and really enjoying her. It is him adjusting and as exhausting as it is it is perfectly normal. As long as he is being good in the day cus we had shocking toddler tantrums to deal with as well as lack of sleep lol!! We had health visitor come yesterday who was really pleased with also. She said it takes them 3mths to really settle in so you are still at early days!!

We had weekly SW visits for first month then fortnightly upto 1st adoption review. Now it's once a month but ours will go back to weekly cus of little man coming. 

We have planning meeting on Fri and one week today we meet our little guy for 1st time!!!! I am just finally adjusting to 5am starts so just hoping he sleeps through hahaha. 

Teamug - fantastic news for you too!!!


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## Lorella

Teamug - great news!

Am feeling slightly down today. It's weird how things creep up still and hit you in the face when everything is going so well. My SIL brought her new baby home yesterday. He is gorgeous. Posted on fbook this morning and already has 70 likes and 50 comments. Just got to me. I love LO so much but I never got to share that first 9 months with her. I never got to bring her home from the hospital. I never got to cradle her as a baby. Didn't think I would be bothered about these things but I am. Just these last few weeks I've totally and utterly bonded with LO and would give my life for her. I feel like she is truly ours. I think that's why I'm having these feelings of sadness over missing the first part of her life I hope this anxious feeling will go soon. Anyone else feel like this? Sorry for down post. I don't post them very often but feeling bit melancholy today and reflective xxx


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## Primmer

Ozzycat - you're first meet with lo sounds amazing! So pleased for you x

Teamug - that's great news, not long till intros start!

Lorella - sending hugs your way, sounds perfectly understandable way to feel to me x


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## Forgetmenot

Thanks Loki...it's hard when they seem settled but obviously regressing.
He so happy in the day, just wonder what's going on in his mind and hope he's happy with us!!
Poor little lad x

Lorella... I think IF will always come back, not matter how perfect our lo's are.  I look at ours with constant amazement, and don't think we could have made anyone better ourselves... Yet we will always long for a pregnancy, a birth, their very very firsts (though lack of sleep... Thank god we didn't get him til 6 months, I'd be hanging!!), but you have something so special, so don't feel bad about your feelings, I would say natural.  Be true to yourself and acknowledge them x It's easy to have feelings of envy that someone else has that and we don't get some of those moments, but boy do you get some of those special precious moments that they will never have with their own birth children.... They are all different and all leave an impression on our hearts. 

Xxx


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## becs40

Ah Lorella  . All normal and it will pass, not to say you won't ever feel like that again because I'm sure you will. I think a lot of it for me was about not having the "normal" , not being able to share the news and get the usual excitement rather having to explain to people about the adoption process, to naturally get all the cards and best wishes when they arrive from the usual amount of people not just a handful, to be able to share our photos with friends online and not be worried about security, there's so many things we've had to let go of and that's not to say that given the choice now you wouldn't do in a heartbeat but you still grieve for the things you didn't get to experience because they are important bits too.


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## Ozzycat

Lorella I just wanted to send u a big fat squishy hug   
I know we're just starting out on our amazing adventure with our LO but I understand... In the last few weeks 2 of my SIL have announced their pregnant... for the first time in years I've been genuinely happy and not cried but the gut wrench and pangs of jealousy are still there.. it's normal x
we've just got to be kind to ourselves, acknowledge these feelings are ok and then move on when we're ready x
Hope u feel abit better soon xxx


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## Freedo

Hi Ladies, firstly again apologies off me that I haven't posted but I do read and follow everyone. Well we have had a whirlwind time lately princesses 1st birthday which was amazing and then yesterday adoption order was granted at first sitting!! Went straight to final hearing as all reports were submitted with application and had the call yesterday afternoon that all went through!! Four months since princess moved in and it's not a year yet since we started home study!! Celebration in next few weeks , we are over the moon! xxxxx


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## Paulapumpkin

Afternoon Everyone

We had a unanimous YES yesterday at matching panel for our sibling group of 3. I was thinking of you too teammug, congratulations to you hun.

We then went into a 3 hour planning meeting with 2 sets of foster carers and 2 social workers.  It was very tough and very exhausting but we got through it and intros will now start on 17 Aug for our blue who is the eldest and then 2 pinks will follow on late Aug.

We really didn't get chance to catch our breath yesterday and today I have been studying the plan to make sure I have not missed anything.  It is going to be very hard as we have to travel a few hours each day to and from the foster carers and also we will be parents of our blue when we have intros with the girls.

Glad the intros are going well Ozzycat and Lorella sending big hugs.

Loki, good luck for Friday.

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all well.

xxxx


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## notgivingup

Lorella - I  think and hope it's perfectly normal to feel like that - I do too and then feel guilty ( though I know I shouldn't!). I think for me it's cause my pink and blue are older so we really did miss out on lots of 'typical' celebrations and firsts. I still feel a pang of sadness when a pregnancy is announced and when everyone is cooing over young babies, but my heart bursts when I see pink and blues firsts such as first bbq, first swimming etc and when people stop in the street to admire them. I would love them to have been my birth children, but then they wouldn't be who they are now and I couldn't love them any more than I do. Please be reassured you are not alone with feeling like that. 

Lots of fantastic news on here at the moment. Congrats all! X


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## Forgetmenot

Wow! So much fab news and change, it's amazing!!  Glad things are happening now for so many, and others getting closer xx

Our little one has been home two weeks today..... A little whirlwind to our lives.  As I sit here he's babbling away on his play mat, and I just feel so lucky to have this one..... and being a mummy is more tiring that I ever thought, but each day is getting better and better.  Little man is so happy and last night slept until 3 am.... Wow wee!!  Happy mummy 

So as today is our 9th wedding anniversary and we are finally a family!  Mum said she would drive up and stay with the boy when he's asleep if we wanted to go out and celebrate.... My response was, "I think I'd rather sleep!!"  Bless.... Happy days xx


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## Tw1nk82

Its nice to read all the lovely updates. We are on route to meet the medical advisor and foster carer with notebook in hand xx


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## becs40

Congrats Paula, fab news!
Freedo it's amazing being able to celebrate their first birthday with them. Congrats on AO too, ours went through first sitting too -within 10 minutes! When I got the call from the social worker at 10.10am I feared the worst but was more than pleasantly surprised!
FMN happy anniversary, we were looking longingly at our honeymoon hotel photos and dreaming we could be back there to enjoy a beautiful meal followed by 12 hours uninterrupted sleep lol! We were up at 4.20am today so not far behind you, I managed to get him down for his morning nap at 8.40 which is great as we have our adoption stay and play session today.
Twink good luck today


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## Laws1612

Good luck twink. Hope all goes well!!! 

Forgetmenot it's nice to 'hear' your so happy, couldn't happen to a nicer person,

Paula - my goodness you will have your hands full I wish you all the luck in the world!!! Keep  us updated

All the news on here is fab and I'm glad we're all getting there slowly. 

Afm.....we are still waiting to move house which is driving me crazy, on top of sorting out going back to work!! And also considering my options having childern really change your look on life and childcare well that's a whole other ball game.....went out shopping for toys yesterday ready for birthdays in September and so Christmas presents I'm abit of a organised freak about christmas and with two little boys I want it to be the best christmas ever so starting early haha.....
Ps....hubby threw in to coversation the other day he thinks he would like a little girl...guess what we. Ugh be doing again next year lol.....


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## Lorella

Thanks ladies for your lovely replies and reassurance that what I'm feeling is normal. I guess it's also a case of 'feeling broody' added to all the other adoption and IF related feelings. I've never felt broody before!

Congrats Freedo and Paula!

Happy anniversary  FMN. 

Becs -NWYM! Been looking at our honeymoon photos and thinking same thing!

Laws - May be there with you next year going for a sibling!

Hi to all xxx


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## Primmer

I am really struggling today    we are supposed to be going to matching panel at end of August for a pink but new behaviours have come to light which are now being reviewed to decide upon when needs she may have and what support package the LA will offer. She has also just had a medical and the medical adviser has raised some concerns but we are not meeting her until week before panel date and they cannot guarantee that medical report will be ready much before that meeting. It is possible, therefore, that the panel date may have to be moved back if the behaviour reviews and support package and/or medical report cannot be prepared on time.

On top of this our previous link with a blue fell through because his escalating behaviours resulted in his LA deciding that at that time he was not actually available for adoption and put his case on hold for a few months at least and we took the difficult decision to start looking again. I am now concerned that this may happen all over again.

I feel really stressed by more unknowns and things out of our control and as our sw is now going on holiday for a few weeks it feels even more stressful even though her manager will deal with matters in her absence it's not the same. Just feel like it could all go wrong again and there is nothing I can do about it


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## RocketJ

Hi Primmer, I'm really sorry to hear that - the system is very unfair when it allows us, the adopters, to invest so much in a child only to then pull the rug out from under our feet. I hope that they manage to get some more information to you quickly - it seems very late to be leaving the medical advisor meeting until a week before panel? Is this an in house match?

Trying to look at it positively - I know it's not easy when it all feels so out of your control - but at least you will have very up to date medical info to consider. When you say new behaviours have come to light, have they just started, or is it that no one had mentioned them before?


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## Primmer

Hi Rocket, thanks for your post. No it isn't an in house match. We are with a VA and this link is with a LA. We are due to meet the medical advisor, the foster carer and have a blind sighting of her all the week before panel and now they are also trying to fit in a meeting with the behavioural support people before panel too. The LA says that the behaviours are new but don't know how new. It is definitely more important to us to have all the information before panel.


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## liveinhope

Sorry to hear of your situation Primmer - really hope something can get sorted for you


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## ultrafirebug

Primmer - I hope it works out for you and good luck at panel.

Hi to everyone else. Hope you are getting sunshine where you are  

We are hoping to complete stage one on Tuesday. Still waiting on the adoption training dates for Sept to Dec. Hope we get then soon x


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## Ozzycat

Primer I hope everything works out for you x
Good luck with stage 2 firebug x

Well intros are going amazingly... Our daughter is truly beautiful and gourgous x
The foster carers have been fab and we've learnt so much x
I have to admit that this evening ive had abit of a cry... hubby is besotted with little lady and today I looked at them and thought why couldnt I give him that? It really upset me... looking at little lady I know that she is perfect for us, but it still hurt x

I'm still holding back... even yesterday as we put the nappies away in the nursery I said to hubby "maybe don't open the pack just in case"
The foster carers keep asking " does she feel like ur daughter?" Hubby immediately says yes but I don't... I feel like I'm practicing with someone elses child...
I have had a couple of moments where I've started to believe but the emotions are overwhelming!
As we got to the foster carers yesterday little lady was just waking up in her car seat... she reached out for me and gave me my first cuddle, arms tight around my neck.. It was amazing and I promptly burst into tears 😍
She's teething and was so upset yesterday but I managed to sooth her and she fell asleep in my arms xx

She's coming to our house for the first time tomorrow yeahy... hubby's scrubbing away x
What an incredible and emotional  journey x


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## Loki Girl

Aww Ozzy bless you. Intros are a truly emotional draining time when u are trying to take everything in and get to know your special little lady. I know exactly how you feel as I felt same way during our intros. To hear yourself being referred to as Mummy and Daddy I found really surreal. I kept looking around thinking where is your Mummy!!! It takes a while for all those emotions to settle down but they will as soon as your little lady is home. Our princess has now been home 7 weeks and I think only now is she really starting to settle and we are really enjoying family life. We took her to the zoo last weekend and the difference to her first outing was truly amazing. She enjoyed every second and I loved it wheras the first time we took her to a little petting zoo when we had only had her couple of weeks and she really wasn't that bothered and was playing up. She clearly wasn't settled. I am actually thankful for getting a 2nd chance with our little man. It will be easier knowing what to expect and I know I can handle the setbacks should he regress or his sleep is disrupted etc. and not blame myself.  I now understand about the difficulties in settling in and I know he is very clingy with the foster carer so I am expecting things not to be as smooth through introductions with him but you never know he may surprise us lol. But men don't see things or feel things the way we do. Of course I wish I had my own baby, yes I'm sad I couldn't give DH his own child and believe me when you have a screaming tantruming toddler it's a real test of those feelings but she is mine and I couldn't imagine any other little girl being my daughter. Believe me when I say you will feel the same way once you bring her home and settle into being a family. I remember the first morning after our little girl had been placed and I didn't even know what outfit to put her in. I had all these lovely clothes and I stuck to what the foster carers had sent even tho I didn't like it cus it just didn't feel right putting her in the new clothes I had bought. It sounds really silly now but that's how much my emotions were all over the place lol. 

Anyways best of luck with bringing her to your house tomorrow. It will really feel like she is yours once you see her in your house. 

We had our planning meeting today which went well and we start introductions Tues. We have started sharing lots of photos of him with princess and have stuck his photos to the wall and she now says baby and his name when she sees them. She doesn't understand when I say he's coming soon tho lol. I'm just praying she won't play up without as much of my attention!! We have got her going to bed now without us staying in the room so that's a huge step for us. She's not so good for DH but doesn't cry very long but she's pretty good for me and only cries like 20 seconds just in a slight show of protest lol. I find after story just talking to her quietly for a couple of mins about our day and what's going to happen i.e Mummy is going to put you in bed now, night night, Mummy loves you and will see you in morning really helps but DH not so good at that kind of thing lol. Little man more difficult cus she had him falling asleep in his bouncy chair downstairs but not sure that's going to happen in our house so hopefully will be able to get him to go upstairs for story etc with princess and get him in routine too. Exciting but scary, busy times ahead lol!!

Primmer - hope everything works out. You need all the info you can get to make an informed decision but it's a bit harsh for it to be only a week before panel!!! 

Hi to everyone else xx


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## Lorella

Primmer - hugs Hun. I really hope it all works out. 

Ozzycat - I was exactly the same and my DH the same as your DH. Trust me your feelings will develop. Mine took a bit longer than DHs but boy when they come they hit you full in the face! I love our little lady soooooooo much but it did take time to get that total bond. 

Xxx


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## Kaytie

Primmer- big hugs you must be in turmoil about the news. I don't quite understand why the meetings are only the week before the MP? Is it time constraints ie holidays? This puts a lot of pressure on you and does not leave enough time to investigate any issues the medical adviser might raise, some of which have now obviously come to light at last medical. 

We had to have all those meetings before we were to made any decision whether or not we wanted to progress and then our MP was not for another 4 weeks.

Hope it all works out for you of course x


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## becs40

Primer, hang on in there. All these things are sent to test us but it's true they really do fade away when you have your lo. Keeping everything crossed it works out for you.  

Ozzycat your feelings are absolutely normal. We're 7 1/2 months in and I love little man so much but there are still times it doesn't feel real yet. I put a lot of it down to the adoption order and sw visits etc. I would say the difference since it was granted and we haven't seen any more sw's has been gigantic. It's more normal and I think subconsciously we're still fearing the worst and protecting ourselves until that point. Hope you have an amazing day at home today.

Afm well little man had his mmr and boosters just over a week ago, the nurse said they'll likely either sleep more or sleep less! As soon as she said it I knew which way we were heading! It's been a challenging week shall we say! We had a 4.30 am start one day (can't even remember which as its all a blur!) and woke up at 11.00pm that night after several earlier waking so but the 11pm one he was wide awake and not going back to sleep so that resulted in an epic tantrum lasting until 1.00am. Having been up for 23 hours at that point I could take no more and my patience had run out so I'm very lucky that dh took over and he eventually went off at 1.30am. Then we were up at 5.30am the following day. He slept better last night but was still up at 5.30 today so he's currently down for his morning nap and has had  over an hour so far so that's better. Yesterday was 30 minutes courtesy of next doors toddler having a massive meltdown outside their back door and being left outside to scream for 20 minutes which woke him up. So not been the greatest of weeks but has been interspersed with some really lovely moments as well though which make it so worth it. The lovely snuggles on my lap pre tantrum when trying to get him off have been gorgeous, he has a new word of "look" or ook as it actually is so we hear that ALOT! Lol. And he's generally been on good form as a little cheeky monkey making us all laugh.


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## katie76

Hello everyone  

It's been a long time since I've posted on here! I hope it's ok to ask some advice. We were approved a couple of weeks ago and given info about a little boy that our sw said 2 other couples were interested in. His sw has chosen to visit us and a meeting has been arranged for this Thursday. Does this mean we've been selected over the other couples or not? 

It's been so confusing and all the sw we've met seem really scatty, not getting info for PAR right, messing up appointments and generally things to stress you out!! It all seems chaotic and disorganised, is it the same everywhere? 

Thanks for any advice


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## becs40

Hi Katie congrats on approval. It could still be a competitive match, often sw's like to visit all in their shortlist to get a better feel for each of the adopters. Good luck.


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## Laws1612

time for a new home chatter boxes!!

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=338185.0


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