# Goldies IVF/ICSI Part 20



## *Kim*

New home Ladies


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## cesca

Hi Hollysox  how are you this morning?  Worried about you. love Cescaxx


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## Joan

Hi everyone,

yeah, Hollysox how are you? and Zora, what news?

mine is over and so i'm going to be just catching up with all you guys. hope everyone is okay. love joan x


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## zora

Joan so sorry to hear that.IVF is so hard there are so many obstacles on the way. Hope you are looking after yourself. Sending you a big hug. 
I'm on my first ever 2ww now with one embie on board so fingers-crossed


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## Hollysox

Hi girls...how are you all doing today ?  Ok I hope 

Joan, I am so sorry to hear that your tx has been cancelled this time round.  Do you have any idea what you will do next ?  Sending you a huge   and hope you are ok hun.

Thank you also for your kind words and positive thoughts for me.  Also thanks for all the hugs everyone has sent me.  I have had the worst day yesterday,( couldn't even get out of bed I felt so down !) And why, cos I stupidly did a hpt on day 11 after et and got a BFN.  I dont know why I did it cos I knew it was probably too early to get a correct result !!! (at least I hope it was too early !).  Anyway, spent most of yesterday in tears and in total devastation.  The af pains have eased today at least and I am hoping that come my true test day things will be positive.  We'll see anyway.  I am so stupid to get into such a state though cos I'm not helping the situation at all. Anyway, enough of my moaning...

Zora, that is fab news and welcome to your first 2ww.  I hope and pray that for you it will be first time lucky !

Take care everyone, lots of love to all xxx


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## nikkiank

Hollysox

You are not stupid at all..... just human sweetheart! Most people test before they should... me included.  Just put it to the back of your mind.... which I know is hard. 

Glad to hear from you and sending lots of love.  

Nikki xxx


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## Joan

Hi guys,

thinking of you Zora, keep warm.

Poor Hollysox, take care, i hope it'll be all okay. i think - if i ever get that far - that i would be testing far, far too early myself, as nikki said, it's only natural.

Hi everyone else howsit all going?

I took my nasty 'get-rid-of-my-2-lovely-huge-follies' injection last night and am a bit mis but okay. still have dreadful tummy upset though.

love to all, Joan xx


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## zora

Hollysox hang on in there. Try not to worry ( eaier said than done )   
Joan- sorry about what you've had to go through . Sending you a big hug


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## Hollysox

It's me again...bad news today for definite...brown discharge this morning and it's getting redder.  AF pains are getting stronger too...I am devastated and honestly dont know if I can go on with this anymore.  My 2 perfect embies...gone !  What a waste of 2 potential lives...I can hardly bear the pain and feel so angry with myself for failing them...


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## nikkiank

Hollysox

Have IM'd you  

love Nikki xxx


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## zora

Hollysox so sorry for you. Please don't blame yourself. I think IVF is one of the hardest things I've ever been through  don't underestimate what you have achieved to get through it all . Sending you a big hug wish I could make things better for you


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## cesca

Hollysox. are you sure its all over ? I can't believe it myself so how you must feel is ....well I know I've done that trip.  We will all be here for you hun. god bless xxxxx


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## Ellie.st

Dear Hollysox
I am really sorry you are feeling so awful.  Even if it is all over for this time (and it's still worth testing on your test date to make sure), please don't be angry with yourself because it is simply not your fault.  Apart from that, all I can say is that I understand how you must be feeling, and I am thinking of you.  Sending you a big hug.

Ellie


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## nikkiank

Hi Girls

Not looking good for me either ladies.    Af cramps and symptoms are about on cue for me but will post back when I have more news.  Must get back to bed now as I have been up all night with cramps and a bit upset about it.  

speak soon
love Nikki xxxx


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## Joan

Dear Nikki,
keep warm and sleep on a bit. you don't know yet. thinking of you. love joan

Hollysox, you poor thing, feel so bad for you too. this is so unfair, so unfair. is there no magic we can do?

Thinking about everyone today and all our spirits joining together to strengthen us. we're going to do it. we've got each other. Big hugs all round girls. love from joan.


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## Hollysox

Hi Girls and thank you so much for all the support you have given me !  I really do appreciate it...  I did do a pt yesterday to make sure and it came up again as a BFN so it is well and truely over this time.

PLEASE GOD, I hope and pray there will be   for you Nikki...I have everything crossed for you !    

Zora, lots of luck to you hun and sending you lots of    

Cesca, Joan, Ellie, Nikki and Zora...group hug time...I think we all need one...


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## cesca

Hollysox.. I feel for you so much hun. Love and hugs.  Cesca xxxx


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## cesca

Nikki... Hang on in there girl.. Sending some fairy dust. Please let everything be good news for you.  Cescaxxx


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## anita.e.t.p

Hi Nikki,

Dont give up hope yet, you just do not know,hopefully its just someone settling in.

I have felt crampy all day  and am also worried,and i do not usually have any symptoms of af yet but we have to be positive    

Still only day 10,so be strong with me

and 

anitaxxx


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## zora

Ok 2ww ladies we have to stay strong together


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## nikkiank

There is an awful log of hugging going on on this thread..... and I am adding mine to the group hug.

                            

Thank you for your lovely messages ..... trying to be    I promise.

Speak soon.
love Nikki


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## Joan

Go for it girls, we're all gunning for you. lots of love from Joan xxxx


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## Ellie.st

Dear everyone

Just how do you do add these smileys?!!! (Still haven't worked it out).  Anyway, big hugs to everyone from me - and hang on in there, 2ww-ers. 

Ellie


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## nikkiank

Ellie

When you got to do a message they should be just above the message box. Just click on them.... if you want some of the others like   and stuff just click on the [more] bit.

          

love Nikki xxx


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## Ellie.st




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## Ellie.st

Thanks, Nikki, it works ... 

                                           

Ellie


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## zora

Ellie -and to make the smileys move -click on the M with an  arrow. Have fun


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## Ellie.st

Wow, a whole new world of fun.  Thanks Zora.

Ellie


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## Ellie.st

Oops, hopefully second time lucky with the moving.


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## nikkiank

Ellie       

You go girl..... hours of endless fun!!!       

love Nikki xxx


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## nikkiank

Hi Girls

Me again with a ME post.  Have started spotting now so along with the cramps I guess it is af.  I usually spot before   gets me.

Feel very alone.... Dh is at a works Conference and Awards ceremony so I have been here on my tod since 1pm and he's not due back until tomorrow.    

Speak soon
love Nikki xxxx


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## Lorri

Nikki - Try not to feel down (easier said than done i know), but you really cannot tell. Lots of women experience spotting before test day and get BFP, could be implantation bleed. There are even plenty of women who have heavy bleeds. You just never know. When are you testing ?

Hollysox - I am so sorry you got BFN, I hope you are OK. I know how hard it is to come to terms. Take care  

Zora - How are you doing ?

Joan - How are you ?  

Ellie -    !  

Cesca - Hello !!  DH is now thinking about DE route, so I may be follwing you to Spain. I am not sure about it yet, I think I want one more go with my own eggs.

Fairydust all around


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## nikkiank

Hi Lorri

I don't know when actually... I have done a couple and they have been neg.  I am on day 12 of the 2ww so I suppose Monday... a hpt.  The clinic dont ask you to take a urine sample in until the following Monday... which would be 3 weeks after treatment.  But I read on one of the IUi threads that one girl isn't to test till day 17!  I will have to ring the clinic on Monday as I am on pessaries I don't really know what to do.!     I usually spot before I come on and I am getting all my lower af dragging cramps and I had an upset tummy today which I usually get before I come on.   

I was only pg briefly once before after IUI and I had no cramps just a 5 day light bleed.  So I think this is the real McCoy!!  

Thanks for trying to make me feel better though!  

Much love to you and Oscar.... hope he is still doing ok!  My two are a bit mopey as Richard is away! 

love Nikki xxxx


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## nikkiank

Lorri

Forgot to say that we are going for DE next.... 


Nikki xxxxx


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## Joan

Hi Girls,

Nikki, hang on in there, you never know, I send you lots of fairy dust and positivity. hope youre not feeling to lonely.

Lorri, hi, i am fine thanks. just still bloated either from the injections or the fud poisoning.

Girls, girls girls, lets have a group hug (dont know how to do the moving hug, but i'm imaginin it real hard)

lots of love from joan xxx

ps painted the batthroom floor blue last night. looks great.


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## zora




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## Ellie.st

Hi everyone

Nikki - hang on in there. Hope your DH is home soon to give you a hug.

Joan - painting; you are making me feel guilty.  I have a bedroom to paint plus curtains to make and not sure exactly when any of this is actually going to happen.  (Have good excuse just now as doing some courses with assignments and exams coming up...  but after that, will have to knuckle down to some DIY).  Hope you are over the bloating soon.

Zora - here come's a moving hug (hopefully)...   Thanks for the expert instruction! Sending you positive vibes.

Group hug to everyone else too    Hollysox, I hope you are doing OK.

PS: Interested in all this discussion of DEs.  I didn't even think of suggesting it to DH until recently as he has ruled out adoption completely for years.  However, mentioned DE a couple of weeks ago and to my surprise he said he didn't see why not.  So I have some thinking to do.  Am going to try a couple more cycles with my own eggs but it is funny thinking that even if they don't work another option has now appeared as up until recently I thought IVF with my own eggs was the only option for us. 

Take care everyone.

Ellie


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## Hollysox

Hi  ...Yes, I am still here !  Although I haven't been on site for a few days...I just couldn't face doing anything to be honest !  The depression has hit in a megga way so I'm just taking it one day at a time.  I rang the counsellor at my hospital on Friday but she hasn't gotten back to me yet.  I'm not sure it will do any good talking to her but maybe it is worth a try ?  I'm also back to work tomorrow, this I am dreading !!!  My manager knew about my tx and she rang me on Friday to ask what had happened and when I told her it had failed she just said 'oh well you tried, so are you coming into work on Monday?'  I was so upset I could have gladly told her where to shove her   job !  

Nikki, how are you sweetheart ?  I am gutted for you if this is af on her way.  I am hoping and praying it is not the case...  Will pm you after this...

Cesca, hope you are ok too ?

Zora,   I hope you are bearing up ok ?

Joan, how's things ??

Lorri, hi ya !  Hope you are ok ?

Ellie, hi to you too !

If anyone's interested there is a programme on tv about woman in their 30's and beyond who are trying to conceive.  It's on channel 4 at 11.05pm Mon, Tues and Wed's nights.  It may be of interest, but then it may not !!!

Take care everyone and sorry for not being around for a while...

Sending hugs to everyone...


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## Lorri

Hello,
Just got back from curry and copious wine ! DH and I have decided (well I have decided) 1 more go with my eggs and then maybe DE, he wants to go DE next tx, which shocked me.  

Nikki - Day 12 is too early ! Keep taking the pessaries and try to wait till official test day. I know its hard (I too am guilty of those evil early   ), fingers crossed for you  

Joan - Hope the bathroom floor has dried nicely. I still  need to paint my hall skirting boards (undercoated them late last year   )

Ellie - I think like you, suddenly, I have another option. I don't know if its desperation, ie not wanting to accept being childless, but its an option, a real option.

Hollysox - It takes a long time to get over a BFN, and NOBODY outside of IF can truly understand that. I know how you feel, just put it down to her ignorance. Take whatever time you need now, to grieve, else it will hit you later. I have been told by 1. Tarot reader in December that I am depressed, and 2. Medium yesterday that I am surrounded by distress. And that is all before I open my mouth ! And its nearly 4 months since my last BFN !!!! Every day I go to work I would gladly tell anyone to shove it, just need the provocation or excuse  .

Zora - I hope you are keeping strong and taking plenty time to relax.

Anita - When are you testing ?  good luck    

Cesca - How are your plans going for Spain ?

Lx


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## Lorri

P.S.  I got a postive today ! 2 lines on an OPK, just wish it was HCG rather than LH.  I don't often get to see a positive test of any kind. I don't usually bother testing, as we are male factor and natural would be a miracle, but as I have started acupuncture and chinese herbs I wanted to monitor my cycle.   Hopefully one day it will be the real McCoy.

Fairydust to everyone, hopefully one day we will all see that positive.
      

Moving group hugs


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## Hollysox

Lorri, firstly, are you sure it isn't a true reading   Miracles do sometimes happen !  Oh that would be so fantastic if it were true !  Secondly, I am so pleased that you have had such a good night out ! Also, that is really good news that you have reached a decision on what tx to go for next...Lots of luck hun...


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## cesca

Hi Goldie's...sorry I haven't been on line for a while hubby thinks I spend far too much time on the PC so have been trying to wean myself off FF!! very hard!  

Hollysox ...Hope you are bearing up Hun have been thinking of you lots.    I think you will be surprised at how much better you will feel if you can talk to somebody that isn't caught up emotionally with you. You can be upset and not feel guilty and worrying too much that you should be strong for everyone. Have a good cry and let it all out. I always find it so much better than keeping it all to yourself. xxxx PS ignore the  at work ,other people have NO  idea how much pain they create by being so dismissive.

Hi Lorri.. I had to laugh at your positive opk, I did exactly that 2 weeks ago and for a minute or two pretended it was an hpt!!! Crazy or what!!  

Nikki ...thinking of you Hun xxxx

Zora ... how are you doing?

Hello Ellie and Joan have we talked before? If not Hi. I'm the mad woman going down the DE route as eggs have gone south along with the rest of the body!!    

We are still wating for our phone call from Spain. Was hoping that my AF wouldn't come as I know I ovulated as I did the LH surge test .But yes bang on time it arrived.   oh well I have got to remember I'm an old bag now not a spring chicken any more!!!! Thats your lot for now !!! bye xxx


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## nuala

Hi Goldies,

Like Cesca I haven't posted in a while as trying to get some work done instead of obsessing and being on this site!

We had our review with Lister two weeks ago after failed cycle last Nov and as I suspected the only option now is DE.  We have discussed it since and I got all the info etc for Cape Town and said I wanted to think about it for a little and that we would probably go for it.

Lorri - I have been having regular acupuncture and taking Chinese herbs since Nov and they really are making changes to my system - lots more CM and stronger temps.  So much so that I got my first   BFP naturally 10 days ago!!.  Sadly it did not stick and a week later I miscarried  .  However sad I feel I am also totally excited that my body did it on its own and so am delaying DE for 3/4 months to see if we can try to make one stick.  If not then definitely its DE route for us too.

So, don;t give up - you never know what can happen.

Nuala


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## dianne

*OMG Nuala * 
How great even though BFP did not last at least you know your body can get pg

So carry on with the yurky herbs  

      
Take care

Dianne x


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## Lorri

Hi fellow goldies
Nuala - Long time no post !! I have noticed the change in CM this month, thought I was ovulating early there was so much (sorry if tmi).  Huge congrats on getting a natural BFP. I am so sorry you had m/c, but at least you know now your body will allow implantation. 

Hope everyone is doing OK !


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## Ellie.st

Hello fellow oldies

Lorri - I know what you mean about getting a positive on the OPK.  I just LOVE that smiley face symbol.  (OK, I've got it just about every month I've tested, but it still makes me feel that at least something is working and that a miracle might just happen!!!).

Cesca - not sure if we have spoken before. Would like to hear more about your DE route as you proceed along it.

Nuala - a BFP is great news even though it didn't stick.  As Dianne says, keep taking the yukky herbs...

Zora - hope you are doing OK on your 2ww.  How long to go now?

Hollysox and Nikki - hope you are doing OK.  

Joan - how are you getting on?  

Well, on my own for the next couple of nights as DH is away on business.  Just me and the cat.  Absolutely jiggered as out in the wind and rain for most of today, so I think it's a warm bath and an early night for me tonight.

Best wishes

Ellie


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## anita.e.t.p

Hi Girls 

have not posted on here for a couple of weeks,have been on the iui thread and then the dreaded 2ww.

Just wanted to tell you its a   ,still cannot believe it.went to bed at six last night with bad tummy ache and convinced it was all over.

Only took the test so i could come of  pessaries and phone clinic

thanks for all your help and advice and sending you lots of    

it can work for us oldies 

anita.xxx


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## *Kim*

Congratulations Anita. Wishing you a happy healthy pregnancy.

Love kImx x x


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## zora

Wow Anita well done


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## Lorri

Anita - That is fantastic news ! You have given us all the hope that we so desperately need.

    ​
Zora - not long to go now. The last few days are always the worst, so I hope you are taking it easy and focussing on that BFP !!

Lx


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## zora

Lorri trying really hard to focus on that BFP. So far resisted the 'peesticks'


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## cesca

Hi Goldie's...still no news from Spain.. I seem to living for that call!!!

Anita ..congratulations on your            what a lovely suprise and a real boost for us more mature gals!!

Zora..  how are you , when do you test it must be soon?

Ellie.. Hi...  we are only at the beginning of our journey down the DE route .we have been for our 1st consultation with Ceram in Spain and we have been put on the waiting list for a suitable donor. So now its just a scary waiting game! I have just met up with a lovely gal from FF who lives locally. We had alot to talk about and it was so nice to speak to someone who knew what I was talking about!! She is also heading down the DE route so it was nice to discuss all the issues involved with that too.

Nuala ..Hi long time no speak.. Well good news mixed with sadness with your news. It is amazing how much acupuncture can help. Stick with it. I will be going back on Thursday to my Chinese doc and start acupuncture in readiness for my treatment.How did you choose Cape Town as a clinic, it seems such a long way to go?

Hollysox how are you ?

Everybody else hi and speak soon  Cesca xxx


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## nuala

Hi Goldies,

CONGRATS ANITA          

Lorri - glad to hear your body is responding well to all the weird and wonderful things TCM prescribes! 

Cesca - after discussing DE with the Lister they 'suggested' Spain may not be the best idea for us as some girls having been promised a blue eyed donor had olive skinned, brown eyed babies!  Both myself and my DH are very fair, blonde and blue eyed.  We also did not want to go to a foreign country whose language we were not fluent in so that knocked out Russia.  As Cape Town is only 2 hours difference, they speak english, we love the place and the Lister spoke very highly of Cape Fertility's standard of treatment and success rates we decided to look into going there.  How's everything going for you?  We have been advised if we wish to go ahead they can take us in April so that's really soon.  We're going to wait 2-3 months now and see what happens with my old bod and then go for DE if no success.

Nuala


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## Joan

Fantastic news, congratulations Anita!!! there is hope for us all, ooooh that's so exciting.

Hi Zora, hope youre keeping well, and thinking of you.

Hi everyone else, have been in a FILTHY temper for 3 days now and my breasts are SO sore. i am hoping it is my body still reacting to the drugs of 2 weeks ago. is this possible. or am i turning into an old menopausal nag-hag?

lots of love and renewed faith, Joan xxxx


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## Ellie.st

Anita - brilliant news, well done and good luck!!! You have really cheered me up tonight!

Zora - not long to go now.  Hope you are taking it easy and resisting test temptation!

Joan - from your posts, I find it hard to believe that you could ever by an old menopausal nag-hag!!!  Am sure it's just those nasty drugs but hopefully they will soon wear off.

Cesca - I'm glad you have found someone local to talk to. Good you are now started on the way to DE.

Hi to everyone else too.

Well, I am now hopefully sorting out the last of my blood tests for my next cycle.  (Should start d/r towards end of April so still some time to try to shift of the Christmas blubber.  Have had all sorts of basic immune, chromosome and blood clotting tests since the last cycle and everything is OK so far.  In a way, it might have been better to have found something which could be treated but at least nothing major has been found.  I am still considering getting more immune testing done but that involves major logistics as I live so far away, so am thinking of having one more cycle with my existing clinic and then perhaps hitting the bright lights of London for an all-singing, all-dancing cycle (what a thought ...).

Take care everyone

Ellie


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## yonny

Hi everyone,
been a while since i posted as nothing much has happened but we went for our first consultation at the Lister yesterday and have finally started the ball rolling......................I start sniffing on the 22nd feb!
Now its actually started Im terrified!! 
Hope everyone is ok out there, congrats Anita and good luck to everyone else whatever stage you're at!
I think I need to read through the thread to catch up a bit! 
will keep you posted!!
Yonny x
ps Nuala, a friend of mine went to Cape Fertility and cant speak highly enough of them! ........and she got lucky! Ben is now 8 months old!! Good luck!


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## Lorri

Welcome back Yonny ! Good luck at the Lister for your tx. 

Ellie - I had loads of tests before my 2nd tx and no issues were found, so I know what you mean. Its great there are no issues, but then, why doesn't it work ?!?!?!?

Joan - It must be something in the air, as I am in filthy mood most of the time these days. Not many people around me have heads left  .  I can usually put it down to PMT, but it seems to be 24/7 these days and I have just ov'd so def not PMT !! 

Nuala - You have made the right decision, give it a bit more time, you never know  

Have any of you been watching baby race ?  Don't they make it look easy ? ie find a donor and wham bam preggers ! One of the women last night got her donor, she had problems with tubes/cysts etc, so had to have IVF (£10K !), only 2 eggs, had 2 put back, turned 40 and got a +ve and had a baby boy. I guess at least it gives us hope.

Hello to everyone else

Lx


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## Ellie.st

Hi Lorri

I've been watching "The Baby Race" too and couldn't believe how many of them were successful (including the 40 year old who, as you say, just got the two eggs).  When they showed her getting a +ve on her HPT, I had a double-take, as I have become so used to thinking that IVF hardly ever works, and yet there was someone getting a BFP result right in front of my eyes.  As you say, it gives us a bit of hope and made up for what I felt was the constant message on the programmes that if you were over 34 (never mind 40!) you were basically passed it.

Good luck, Yonny.  Would be interested to get your feedback on the Lister.

Hello to everyone else too.

Ellie


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## zora

bad news form me I'm afraid.   showed yesterday and is in full flow today. Official testing is tomorrow but I already know the result 
After 2 very poor cycles really feel like giving up. My body really doesn't do well on IVF/ICSI or on conceiving naturally.Ellie what further testin did you do ?
It also seems that all the over 41s who get pregnant have already been pregnant at some point. I've never been pregnant and feel like I never will.   
Sorry about Me post


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## helen joyce

Hi Zora and everyone,
Zora , I know exactly how you feel. the same has just happened to me and i feel absolutely devastated. Everything was going so well. I had 5 really good eggs and 2 embryos went back. The 2 week waiting was so hard and i couldn't even bring myself to write to you all although i did keep reading your messages. I really really thought it was working this time and was so shocked when my period stared 2 days before my test date. That is our second failure and i feel so full of despair. I feel like all my hopes and dreams have been torn up. I have cried so much. I'm really sorry for you Zora, it's so  so so unfair. Maybe we will get a turn soon. Heres a big hug for you anyway   and lots of love


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## sazz

Zora-so so sorry
I too am your age and was feeling so low (and old) when I went for ET.....   
(I felt just the same as you Helenjoyce-cldn't bring myself to talk about my BFN and found the whole ICSI experience really stressful so that after EC I cldn't post anymore altho I did keep up with you all too) 
It took a while to start feeling positive again and to think about the future altho' still not sure quite what to do now.
Anyway big  and take care of yourself
Sazz


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## cesca

Zora.. words at this time cannot ease your pain but I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you both. What I can say through my life's experiences is that there is always a light at the end of every tunnel. Please try and grieve but there will be a time when you feel stronger and will have a better idea on how to move forward. 
                                            Cescaxxxx


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## yonny

Zora, helen Joyce..........I am so so sorry! 
Lots of love to you both and please look after yourselves!
yonny x


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## ♥Meerkat♥

Zora
Sorry to hear your sad news  
Take care of yourself 
I hope your dream is realised soon

Meerkat x


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## Lorri

Zora - Did you do a test ?  Do you know for sure its a BFN ?  Bleeding isn't always a BFN. I don't want to give you false hope, but you should still do the test, you never know. Thinking of you  

Helen - I am so sorry for your BFN  .

I know EXACTLY how you feel, I have had 2 BFN and things went well, great embies etc. Felt crap after first BFN and felt really really crap after 2nd, full of despair wondering if it was ever likely to work. I wish I could give you hope, but it does totally seem like a numbers game, and one day hopefully our number will come up.  I am now doing whatever I can to improve my chances, ie waiting till my mental attitude is right, having acupuncture, chinese herbs, taking vits. When I stim next I will be having protein drinks. At least then if it doesn't work I will either stop or go down DE route. 

Love to you both at this horrid time


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## Joan

Zoraaaaaaaaa, I'm so sorry for you and sending you a big, big hug. This whole thing stinks doesnt it. BUT we must go on. Rest up and have something like a huge family bar of cadbury chocolate all at once. We are all going to try again. Come on, say it, I'm going to try again.

HelenJoyce, so sorry to hear yours aswell. big hugs to you too.

lots of love girls, at least we all know we've got each other. Joan xxx


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## nikkiank

Zora & Helen Joyce

 

I am so sorry    Sending you all my love
Nikki xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Hollysox

Hello everyone, I am so sorry not to have been posting for a while...I just couldn't face it I'm afraid !

Zora... ...my heart goes out to you....  These are dark days for a lot of us but I hope that we will all find the strength from somewhere to carry on our dream.  

Helen...  to you too hun... 

Nikki, how are you doing ? I'll pm you right after this  

Nuala, I was so sorry to read what had happened to you...sending you a  

Anita...wow, congrats on your BFP !  I wish you lots of love and a happy healthy pregnancy.

How is everyone else doing ?  Joan ? Ellie ? Cesca ? Yonny ? Lorri ? Sazz ? and Meerkat ?  I hope everyone is doing ok 

Me, I'm having really bad days and others not quite so bad !  The counsellor at my unit is on the sick so I have given up on that idea !  I did actually ring the clinic yesterday to make an appointment for a review.  I go in March.  I also had my very first acupunture tx yesterday.  According to the therapist I have a dodgy spleen, liver, and kidneys and my bloods not too good either ??!! I asked her how long I had to live ?!  She reckons there is nothing she cant help put right though so we'll see how it goes.

Also yesterday, which was a good day as you may have gathered...I was looking at the Zita West web site re her vitamins and wondered whether to try some.  I mentioned it to my nurse and she said basically that if you are eating healthily there is no need to take them.  I was just wondering how many of you out there do take them and do you find them to be any good ?

Anyway, I've rambled for long enough...Take care and love to all xxxx


----------



## Ellie.st

Dear Zora and Helen

I'm so sorry about your BFNs. (Zora - Lorri is right, however. You should still do a test). It is so hard and there's nothing really I can say apart from that I know how you feel and am thinking of you both. 

Zora - you asked about the tests I've had since my last cycle. There is a list on the Investigations and Immunology board (link is http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,37001.msg448770.html#msg448770) plus quite a few other interesting posts. After my second BFN my GP did quite a few of the tests listed for me while my (clinic did the karyotyping (chromosome) test (which took about 10 weeks for the results to come through) and the anti-cardiolipin tests (not sure if I've got the spelling right for that last one). I have to say that I had to push a bit to get the tests done but, to be honest, I don't know why they don't offer them much earlier in the IVF process as there are treatments available for some of them if they came back positive and you have no way of knowing if you have any of these problems unless you get the tests done. I haven't had any of the more controversial immune testing done but am keeping that option in reserve for later in the year. (It is s going to be quite hard for us to get these done because of where we live so am going to have one more go with our current clinic first). PS: It does seem to be true that people who have been pregnant before have a better chance of success with IVF, but that doesn't mean that the likes of you and me should give up!

Hollysox - Glad you are back. I know what you mean about good and bad days. Hopefully the good ones will start outnumbering the bad ones soon. Re supplements, I personally don't think it does any harm to take supplements and there does seem to be evidence that they might help. I take the Thorne basic pre-natal supplement plus an Essential Fatty Acid supplement and Co-enzyme Q10 - these combined add up pretty much to the levels recommended in Zita West and Marilyn Glenville's books. (I also take a bee pollen/royal jelly supplement). I certainly feel the better of them generally healthwise which can only be a good thing. DH takes the Marilyn Glenville supplements plus EFAs and Co-enzyme Q10, and his results definitely improved after he started taking them. Will be interested to hear how you get on with your acupuncture.

Meerkat - good news re your CERAM appointment.

Well, I'm supposed to be writing an essay today so had better get on with it now.

Hello to everyone else - hope you are all doing OK.

Ellie


----------



## nikkiank

Hi Girls

Sorry that I haven't been around for a little while but I will just bring you up to date with my news.

Last Sunday I had a   but due to some spotting I didn't like to share the news straight away.  The worst has happened and I have had test results today that are really low and show that I have probably had an early miscarriage.      I have to send a test up to them on Tuesday so that they can test and confirm this.  We are quite sad as I had a miscarriage this time last year   but I was further on then.

We have decided not to risk any more of my dodgy eggs and go straight on to DE at CERAM in Spain and my clinic said today they will give me their full support.  So I shall be contacting CERAM over the next week to get that initial appointment through (have to renew my passport first too!  )

I would like to send you all some baby dust that this year DOES become a sucessful and baby filled year between us all.    

All my love now and chat soon. 
Nikki xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## zora

NIkki and helenjoyce so sorry   
This has not been a good year so far for all of us.


----------



## Joan

oh my god, i've been away from the site for a whole day and just had a good read. how miserable it has all become. we really need some big group hugs to help everyone. I'm going to try and do one ...   that says cuddle. aw well, anyone want to let me know how you do these things?

It must be going to work out for us. It must. We need to keep thinking positively even when it all seems desperate. Because we're all going to have little babies.

Huge hugs to everyone, Joan x


----------



## Joan

I forgot to say, my   filthy filthy mood and swolllen boobies had a reason, of course! I got old AF on day 16 again. So that's my system up the spout. I'm normally 24 day cycle and now since the last menopur attempt i have had 2 x 16 day cycles. Am certainly not going to go straight back to the clinic. I think I shall wait until it has settled back to a normal length. But maybe it's the beginning of menopause. hope not.

just seen my last post and the cuddle thing WAs the gug i was looking for, hoorah.

lots of love and comfort from joan xx


----------



## Ellie.st

Hi Joan
Well done with the hug smiley.  (I am feeling quite chuffed that I've mastered them too, although I did need a bit of help!).  Here's one for you and anyone else logging on today.  

I had Menopur on my last cycle and I must say that it mucked up my cycles for a bit too.  However, after 2-3 months, things were right back to normal.  So I doubt that it's the menopause for you just yet.  

You are so right, by the way - we need lots of positive thinking here just now.  Also, lots of chocolate.  (It's DH's birthday today so I've had the perfect excuse to make a chocolate cake, plus I bought him some yummy Montezuma chocolate and am now hoping that he's going to share some it with me!).

Best wishes

Ellie


----------



## Hollysox

Hi everyone...

Oh Nikki, I am so sorry to hear your news     It is a dreadful time for you especially being almost a year since your first mc...I am thinking about you and sending you all my love... 

Nuala,Zora and Helen...I hope you are all bearing up as best you can right now too...sending you too.

Thanks Ellie and Meerkat for your thoughts on vitamins.  I'm still not sure whether to go for the Zita West ones yet though.  I have been taking Pregnacare anyway, plus eating pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and brazil nuts.  Since seeing the acupuncturist, she said that I should maybe take something called 'SPATONE' which is an iron suppliment.  I'm a veggie so she thinks it will certainly help my iron intake.  I managed to get a box today from 'Boots' and they are sachets of water which is rich in iron. You mix 1 or 2 with fresh orange juice each day.  I'm giving them a go anyway.  Also I have decided to try Agnus Castus for a few months to see if there is any benefit from that ?  I'm still keeping on with the other things I've been taking all along but am adding almonds to the menu too !!!  Am I going mad or do all these things sound reasonable ?! 

I'm sorry to hear that your cycle has been messed about so much Joan...I was on menopur last time too so can I expect the same problems I wonder ?  Without giving too much info I have found that there is no sign of cm yet which is unusual for me.  I'm day 12 now and usually have it by now ?  Oh well, I'll just have to see what happens...

Cesca, not long now until your trip to Spain ?  When do you go again ?  I'm sorry to have to ask but my minds like a sieve at the moment !  Meerkat, Thats brilliant news re your app at Ceram next month !  

Hi to everyone else out there...hope you are doing ok ?  Please take care and as Joan said, we all need a group hug so here's another one...


----------



## ♥Meerkat♥

Hi Hollysox

Just a word of caution about Agnus Castus in case you don't already know.  It shouldn't be taken with any prescribed fertility drugs as it can interfere with how they work.  Also shouldn't be taken if you're pregnant, so only really before ovulation to be on the safe side.  


I think all the nuts and seeds are a good idea

Group hug for the Goldies is a great idea and lets hope we have some positive news soon
  

Meerkat x


----------



## suziegirl64

Hello Everyone

Sorry I've not posted in ages - trying not to obsess about babies or lack of them!! Plus trying to take care of my RSI pain more than I usually do! 

I do keep reading your news though and have felt so disappointed for the recent  BFNs    sending a big  to Zora and Helen

Nikki - so sad for you     Particulary hard because of what happened last year.  

Nuala - so sorry to hear about your disappointment too honey    Such short lived happiness  

Anita! - Thank the lord for some good news!!        Wishing you all the best for a happy healthy pregnancy

Love and luck to everyone in the coming weeks and months. We need more good news on the old bat thread!

My news is that I am starting FET soon and begin DR on 25th Feb. My precious snowbabies are waiting for me!   

I'm a bit down though because my DP only wants one embie transferred. He freaked out when I got my BFP last year because my hormone levels were high and the possibility of twins was mentioned. Sadly I had a mc but even though we've talked and talked about all the pros and cons, he won't budge at the moment. I have to respect his feelings on this, I know, but it's really hard. I can hardly call him selfish, he didn't want children at all when I met him. He's done all this for me really anyway. He says that his desire now for a child is wrapped up entirely in his love for me. If we split up tomorrow, that would be the end of his desire for a child. I just keep repeating the mantra "it's quality not quantity that matters"! I hope it's true! I want to be positive about the upcoming tx but feel quite negative really. I feel like my chance of success is cut in half.   

Thanks for lending me your ears!
I'll keep you posted
Love Suzie xx


----------



## nikkiank

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and the many  

I would like to say we are doing ok and moving forward but right now both Dh and I are a bit of a mess.  I just want to be asleep all the time as being awake hurts too much.  But when we sleep we have awful nightmares.  

Rich has gone to work today looking awful and I just don't know what to do with myself.  I just feel very low and very bitter and I wish the day would end so I could go to sleep again.  I would have rather the IUI hadn't worked as that is what I expected to happen rather than have another miscarriage.

speak soon
love nikki xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## zora

Really sorry you're feeling so low Nikki. I too am not in good shape. I've decided to go to see the counsellor at the clinic tomorrow. Is that an option open to yourself ? DH is working really hard at the moment and hasn't had anytime to be other than strong for me .Not an ideal situation. Really hope time is a healer for you both .Life is just so unfair sometimes


----------



## nikkiank

Thanks Zora

Hope you find the counsellor good tomorrow!    I find I am very bad when I wake up in the mornings but a little better as I get into the day.

They do have a service in Nottingham but it is a long way up for me to go.  Also until they say I can stop the pessaries I just can't get any closure... hopefully I will get that on Wed and   can start to arrive.

After my last miscarriage I was a bit up and down depending on my hormones for a month or so... so I am not expecting myself to produce any heroics for a few weeks.

I do have another piece of news... my appointment came through from CERAM in Spain this morning for the end of March so I am hoping this gives me something to focus on!  

Sending you and your Dh loads of     Life stinks sometimes.  I am thinking of you lots.
Nikki xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## suziegirl64

Hi Zora and Nikki

So sorry to hear you're both feeling so low.   It's only to be expected after all you've been through though so please don't be hard on yourselves. Also lots of   to your DHs.

Time is a healer thankfully. Sleeping is good too as long as you remember to get up and wash at some point (!) The days _*will * _ get a bit brighter and the future won't look so bleak. Soon. I promise.

Thinking of you both today.
Love Suzie xx


----------



## Ellie.st

Hi Zora and Nikki
Sorry you are both feeling so down.  I remember how horrible it is (and the hormones don't make it any easier) but try to take things day by day and don't be too hard on yourselves.  Things WILL start getting better, even if it is hard to believe that just now.  Zora - hope the counselling helps.  Nikki - great news re the appointment with CERAM coming through.  Hope it starts giving you something to look forward towards.  Thinking of you both (and your DHs) and hope you are both feeling a bit better soon.  

Hollysox - I'm veggie too.  What you are taking sounds very sensible although I haven't heard of these iron supplements before.  Hope they make a difference- does your acupuncture person think you are anaemic?  I imagine there is already iron in the Pregnacare supplements so you will perhaps need to watch out that you aren't overdoing it on the iron!  I take Essential Fatty Acids as well as they can be harder to get in a veggie diet (especially if you don't eat fish).  

Suzie - I know what you mean about the quandary over number of embryos.  My DH sounds similar to yours as he is not at all desperate for children but he has been prepared to go through all of this for me.  As you say, you have to respect their views on issues like this.  However, without wanting to sound soppy, I feel incredibly lucky that my DH loves me enough to be prepared to go through all this with me, and it sounds as if you are in the same situation.  (As my granny would say, we need to count our blessings on this one!).  Also, very importantly, as you say, it IS all about quality not quantity  - and I personally believe too that if it is meant to be, it will happen, even with just one.  So fingers crossed for you - and lots of positive thoughts.     

Hi to everyone else.  PS: Joan, hope your raging hormones are subsiding!

Ellie


----------



## cesca

Hi Goldies... just popping in to say hello and that I haven't been posting much recently as we are still waiting for our call from Ceram to say they have a donor. It seems like forever. I just want to get going as its difficult to plan anything.  Anyway I  have been following all your posts. and hugs to everyone.


----------



## Joan

Hi Girls,

just popping in with some positive thoughts for everyone and hope that you can make it through the days. try not to get too depressed, i know i can't wholly understand what you're going through, but i'm just trying to help because i've suffered really bad depression before and i do know about wanting to sleep or not wanting to get up and wanting to go back to sleep to escape life, and thoughts, and people. It's very difficult, but it will help if you do get up and make yourself get into a routine. try and get some exercise and some fresh air. and jump up and down a bit waving your arms around and smile. then you can go back to bed.

SOMEthing good is going to happen to all you guys, at some point. you'll see. keep positive and have faith that it will happen.

lots of love and hugs from joan xx


----------



## suziegirl64

Hi

Ellie you are so right about counting my blessings! Thanks for reminding me - I needed it.  I have a lovely man who loves me and would do all this for me. I really can't complain. I'll try to be more positive about things!  

Love to all
Suzie xx


----------



## nuala

Hi Goldies and HAPPY VALENITINES!!

There seems to be a lot of sad bunnies on this board just now  .

Zora and Nikki:  here's another BIG HUG for you both      There is little any of us can say that will ease the pain.  All I know that for me the pain does lessen with time and taking positive action in some aspect of my daily life.  Having found my DH late in my fertile life (?) I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone who loves me so much and who I love soo incredibly too   

When I had the very first BFP in my life last month I was at first terrified then a little delighted but knew it may not stick (no reason for this other than age) and sure enough 7 days later I got the witch 

All we can do is our best to make ourselves healthy and happy and our bodies have to do the rest.    Nourish and nuture is what I am trying to do these days and see it works - just need to find the glue to make the next one a sticky one  

Keep smiling  and do something silly    to make yourself laugh - I always think of Patch Adams who is still trying to get his hospital built.  His philosphy is that laughter and fun helps to heal and he has proven is scientifically so just for today here are two of Patch Adams' Prescriptions:

1:  Turn off your TV and become interesting. Perform yourself. 
2:  Consider being silly in public. Sing out loud. Wear funny stuff.

Nuala


----------



## Joan

yay! i aDORE my DH. absolutely and totally. never been so happy. i feel very lucky too.

Happy Valentine's all you guys, love from joan x


----------



## Hollysox

Hello everyone...Nuala, great advice but not sure about the 'prescriptions' you've recommended.  They made me laugh anyway...

Nikki and Zora...   

Nikki, that is good news re your app. in Spain.  It will be something positive for you to focus on right now...sending you lots of love  

Zora, did you get to see the counsellor ?  If so I hope it has helped you a little bit. Sending you lots of love too hun... 

I tried to see my units counsellor but she is off work sick so I feel I've been left high and dry to be honest !  But, there you go.... 

Ahh, a fellow veggie Ellie...I'm not sure if my acupuncturist thinks I am anaemic but she reckons my blood isn't quite right (?)  I'll aske her when I see her regarding whether I can take the iron suppliment with pregnacare.  Do you know, it never even occured to me that it might not be ok ?!  How stupid am I ?  What EFA suppliments do you take Ellie ?  Are they the Zita West ones 

Meerkat, thanks also for your thoughts on my vits, especially the Agnus Castus.  I had only planned to try them up until just before I start any more tx.  Would this be ok ?  How far in advance of tx do you think I should stop taking them ?  All this is SO confusing at times ?!

Hi to everyone else I've not mentioned personally today...I hope you are all ok and enjoying Valentines Day   I'm a saddo...not one card did I receive !  Oh well, I know my dog loves me !

Take care everyone, Lots of love to all xxxx


----------



## nikkiank

Hi Girls

And Happy Valentines Day!  

Thanks for all the hugs and support.  

I am in a bit of pain today and have started bleeding properly so I guess everything must be coming away now.  Have to call the clinic tomorrow and hope to stop the cyclogest then  

Don't really have much to say which is unusual for me..  

Hollysox...... if I'd had your address I would have sent you a Valentines so you at least had one    so this will just have to do instead...      

Take care all
love Nikki xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## ♥Meerkat♥

Hi Hollysox - here's a valentine's hug  

I'm really not an expert   but as far as Agnus Castus is concerned I would treat it with caution as its very potent.  Zita says that it should only be prescribed by a qualified herbalist.  I read also that you should stop taking it three months before undertaking any fertility treatment.

If you look on the complementary therapies board there lots of info about it - I would attach a link to the board but I don't know how!    

Wheatgrass is supposed to be very good for lowering FSH - you can buy tablets from the health shop or some juice bars are now adding it to smoothies.  If you are really keen you can grow your own  

Nuala - like the Patch Adams philosophies  

Cesca hope you hear from Ceram soon  

Hello to everyone else and 

Meerkat x


----------



## zora

Hollysox I saw the counsellor. It was tough but I let a lot out if you know what I mean. She advised to nurture 
myself and grieve properly i.e. not hold anything back or bottle it up. Feel better for it now. Part of my problem is I haven't told any family or friends so thank God for FF.
Meant to say I was a veggie until last year (eat fish now) I was diagnosed with quite bad anaemia and B12 defiency. Tablets put it right and then I started using spatone to keep the levels up. When I started on pregnacare I gave up on the spatone as pregnacare already has iron. If poss I would get checked out by your GP for anaemia and B12. For this tx pulled all the stop s out took con-q10,vitC,pregnacare,Omega 3&6 and selenium. Unfortunately that coupled with acupuncture and extra protein and no alchol made no difference to me I think that's another reason why it's hit me hard. Good luck and take care 
Hi to everyone else
Nikki thinking about you


----------



## Ellie.st

Dear Zora
Glad you have seen the counsellor and that you feel that it has helped a bit.  I know what you mean about the disappointment being even worse when you feel that you have done everything possible to make it work.  However, looking at it the other way, if you have done everything possible, at least you don't have lingering doubts about "if only I had tried x, etc etc".  Take care and try to take things easy.  

Hollysox - this whole supplements thing is a minefield, isn't it?  I try to base what I take on recommendations of Zita West and Marilyn Glenville.  (We got advice from a nutritional therapist a couiple fof years ago and what she recommended basically tied in with ZW and MG). Zora's suggestion of getting yourself checked for anaemia and B12 sounds really good.  I was reading up Marilyn Glenville's book last night as I am on the countdown now to my next IVF cycle and she recommends only taking extra iron supplements if you know you are low on iron  (Although I am sure the amounts in Pregnacare would be fine, and I know there is some iron in the supplement I take). RE EFAs, I take Biocare Microcell Essential Fatty Acids (Linseed Oil and GLA Oil).  They are suitable for veggies but not suitable for anyone on anti-blood clotting drugs such as Heparin.  I order them via nutricentre.com.  I also take Gillian MacKeith's shelled hemp seeds (which are actually quite tasty on salads and soups) - you can get them from Holland and Barrett - plus pumpkin and sunflower seeds. Don't have the faintest idea if they do any good although I must admit that my skin has improved quite a bit since I started eating all these seeds.  Thank goodness as I thought I was soon going to be the only 41 year old in the country with teenage spots, wrinkles and grey hairs!!!

Nikki - hope you are feeling a bit better now.  Hope also that you get some definite news at the clinic tomorrow as this hanging on must be really difficult.

Here's a Valentine's wish for everyone.    

Nuala - like the Patch Adam tips.  Will bear them in mind.

Take care everyone.

Ellie


----------



## Lorri

Helloooo !!!  Can't believe I haven't posted on here in a while ! I have been keeping up though

Zora - I am glad you got to see a counsellor (lucky thing). They don't do that at my clinic, which is probably why I am still affected. She is right, you do need to take time to grieve properly, because it will out in the end ! 

Nikki -  Huge cyberhugs   I hope you and DH are managing to get through this

Hollysox - these do's and don'ts of supplements confuse the hell out of me !

Joan - Your DH must be lovely, and lucky to have someone that adores him. I hope you got spoiled yesterday (I did) 

Cesca - Any update from Spain ? I am sure it will all kick off before you know it and will be like a whirlwind when it does

Hi to everyone else 

Lx


----------



## Hollysox

Hi girls and thank you for the valentines hugs you sent me (cos no one else loves me !)

This is just a quick one from me today as I have to go out shortly for my acupuncture appointment...I am hoping that my mood will improve after it as I have been feeling pretty low for the past couple of days    I really wish I could see the counsellor at my clinic but she's off sick so that's that !  Zora, I am really pleased that you got to see yours and that you felt a bit better after it...her advice sounds very good !  You take care hun  

Right, I want to say thank you tons for all the thoughts on what vits I am taking etc.  I have thrown the Angus Castus out for a start !  I have decided to follow what my nurse said and just eat healthily.  All these pills and vits are doing my head in !  I am just going to take my pregnacare, spartone (I asked the acupuncturist and she said it is quite safe to take allong with pregnacare), eat my pumpkin and sunflower seeds, almonds, and start off on the hemp seeds again ! I think that pretty much covers what needs to be covered !  I am getting into such a mess with trying to decide what to take so I've decided that enough is enough as far as other vits go.  If I eat a balanced diet I am hoping I will be ok ?! And of course my acupuncture sessions will hopefully help a lot...Thanks again to everyone for your help though.  I was mortified when I read about the angus castus !  I've only had 4 so I'm hoping I'll be ok ?!!!

Hope everyone is doing ok today though,  I'll maybe get back on the computer later today but if not, definitely tomorrow...then I can catch up with everyone properly !  Take care then...   to all.  xxx


----------



## Ellie.st

Dear Hollysox

Sounds like a good strategy to me! You are definitely sounding a bit brighter today so hopefully you will be feeling a bit brighter soon too.


Hello to everyone else.

Ellie


----------



## Lorri

Hello, how is everyone today ?  

Zora and Nikki thinking of you both, hope you are OK  

Hollysox - any luck seeing your counsellor yet ?  hugs to you too  

Cesca - Any news from Spain ?

Joan - I am in need of some of your lovely humour. Where are you hiding ?

As for me, I have a had sore throat the last few days and am now am sniffing delightfully and my ears all bunged up   . DH is outside diy-ing, and I am skiving, keeping warm and preserving my energy,  especially as af is due in the next couple of days. I want it come asap and the dreaded cold too, so I can get over them before Wednesday, which is when we are off on our mini break to Dublin - yippee   . Knowing my luck they will both hit me with a vengeance on Wednesday     .  Think I need to have a snooze, bye bye

Love to all goldies x


----------



## Hollysox

Hi Goldies...hope everyone has had a good weekend ?

Oh Lorri, you poor thing...I hope your sore throat and bunged up ears dont turn into anything too bad !  I hope you and dh have a fab time in Dublin when you go on Wednesday !  Where abouts are you staying ?  I went to Dublin a few years ago but cant remember the name of the hotel I stayed in ?!  I've been looking at some holiday brochures over the weekend...thinking of maybe a Greek Island like Crete or Rhodes.  I cant really afford it but there is no harm in looking is there ? 

No, Lorri, still no luck in seeing a counsellor from the hospital...Some days I feel ok and others, well I think I am loosing it big time...I've had a bad couple of days but have been ok today...

How's everyone else doing ?  Ok I hope ?  Take care of yourselves...Love to all xxx


----------



## Ellie.st

Hello everyone

Lorri - hope you are feeling better by now and that you are gearing up to have a great time in Dublin.

Hollysox - give yourself time.  The good days will keep increasing over the bad ones.

Not much to report here, apart from singular failure to lose any weight (trying to get my BMI down a bit before next tx in April).  Doesn't help that I've just invested in a breadmaking machine and discovered some delicious recipes which obviously taste even better with the addition of copious butter and jam!

Hope everyone else is doing OK.

Ellie


----------



## cesca

Hi Goldie's  how are you all.. Seems like ages since I've bee on. have been going to my Chinese doc who does acupuncture and gives out the vile herbs recently . All in preparation for our visit to Spain.He is treating me very differently this time as I won't be needing the worn out ovaries!!!  He has said lots of water to bring energy levels up as I am very low in this at the mo. I just feel so tired all the time. Maybe its the menopause on its horrid way!! 
I also take fish oils, evening primrose oils ,garlic and folic acid. I rattle when I walk!!  I have also started taking milk thistle to aid my liver with all the toxins!!!  God knows if any of this helps but I feel better when I'm rattling.!!!
  We still haven't heard a dickie bird from Spain i hope they haven't lost our file! That would be something that would happen to me. I am trying to be very calm about it all and just get on with things but it is hard. Life seems to be on a sort of hold, can't go there , cant do this ,can't do that ,all in incase we get that phone call.  I should be grateful really 10yrs ago that would have been it ,no chance ,as DE is only really a recent thing.  So upward and onward as the saying goes! ( well something like that anyway!!    )
Speak soon love to everyone  Cesca xxxx


----------



## cesca

oh dear... where is everybody!!!!!!
Fairydust is needed here


----------



## Ellie.st

Hi Cesca
Yes, indeed, where are all the others?  Do you think they know something we don't? 

Know what you mean about rattling when you walk.  And I've just taken delivery of four more jars of bee pollen ...  

Hope you hear from the clinic in Spain soon.  Could you perhaps ring/e-mail them to check what's going on?  In the meantime, stay calm, and here's something for you too!                

Ellie


----------



## Lorri

I don't know where everyone else is, but I am on my 3 day break to Dublin   . Its blo*dy freezing here, but food and alcohol good (expensive). Had a bit too much to drink tonight (doesn't take much these days), so apologies for the garbled post (am trying v hard not to garble and mistype).

Luckily my hotel has internet access in the room so I can keep up to date (when dh allows me to).


Love to all goldies, we all a deserve to be happy,hope all your dreams come true

Lx


----------



## Ginger

Hi everyone,

I had 2 lovely embryos transferred today from our Donor IVF cycle. They were 6 and 8 cells and in lovely condition both graded A and there are 6 for the freezer!! 

I am feeling good - positive and scared at the same time. The expectation is enormous and I hope I can handle the pressure of the next 2 weeks

Lots of love to you all

Ginger xxx


----------



## Lorri

Ginger

Good luck with 2ww  , 6 in the freezer is fab too


----------



## nikkiank

Ginger......      lots of          coming your way.   

Lorri.... kept meaning to wish you a nice time in Dublin but you are there already... snowing here this morning.     have some lovely guinness for me and some irish stew....oh and their fried breakfasts are great!!!    

Hello to everyone else.... sorry not to have been posting.  I get my final test back today to make sure the hcg has left my system after the miscarriage.     then I can move forward.

lots of love to all  
back soon
nikki xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## cesca

Hi Goldie's  ... It's been snowing down in Kent since I got up at 7.30am  I really thought we'd seen the last of the horrid stuff!!  My horses hate it and all they want to do is eat to keep warm( know how they feel!!)  Which means I have to keep going up to the field with bales of hay in the cold and freezing snow!!!!!!!!!!!!  Shouldn't complain  though i would love to win the lottery and pay for a groom!   
  
Ginger thats great news, good luck . Which clinic did you use, and was it in this country or abroad?  I am waiting for a donor from Spain but they can't seem to find her... she must be hiding in a bar!!  wish I could join her but I have gone on the wagon and haven't had a drop for one whole week and thats good i can tell you! My sister is coming down to stay this weekend and she and I normally crack open a couple of bottles of wine between us and sort the world out. How strong have I got to be to refuse a glass on Saturday night!!!!!!   Ooh help   

Lorri... Hope your having a good time and enjoying the crack as they say in ireland.  I love Ireland and try to get over as much as I can especially as my dear husband is buried there.  I can't believe it will be 10 yrs since he died. Life has not been the same without him and I still think of him every day.  But I have been so lucky to find Barry my new DH  and he has been so good for me.
  well enough of my waffling !!!

Nikki great to see you posting again. I know you have been through the mill and it takes time to lift your head up to see the sun ( no chance of that today though!) but it will come  and I wish you lots of love .Speak soon  xx  

Well girls thats your lot for now hope to speak soon ,thats if I get back from outer Siberia after feeding my horsies!!      cescaxxx


----------



## cesca

Oh I forgot   hi Ellie   whats the bee pollen  for and should I be investing in some too?!!!


----------



## Ellie.st

Hello everyone

Ginger - fantastic news!!!

Lorri - hope you are having a great time in Ireland.

Nikki - good to hear from you. Onwards and upwards ...

Cesca - hope you and the horses are surviving the arctic conditions. PS: the bee pollen is meant to help egg quality etc. Haven't the faintest idea if it actually does, but it was one of various different things I tried during the lead-up to my second IVF cycle and that one did result in more and better embryos than the first cycle. It comes as a mix of honey, royal jelly and bee pollen (I order the one with extra bee pollen), and if you believe all the blurb, it is a wonder potion for so many things (Not just IF).  Not sure if I believe it all, but it won't do any harm, and, equally importantly, I find that it tastes pretty good on bread and butter or with yoghurt and fruit! (Have a look at http://www.babyworld.co.uk/information/trying/getting_body_ready/honey_helps_conception.asp if you are interested).

   to everyone.

Ellie


----------



## nuala

Hi Goldies,

Haven't posted in a while as nothing much to say but always check how you are all doing and am here to support others  

Lorri - say hello to my home town for me, have a big glass of Guinness and laugh lots, I so miss the Irish sense of humour!  I'm back there to see my famil March 9 -12 and looking forward to it as we were last there Jan 2005!!!

Cesca - you poor thing having to wait and wait but you know it will be worth it in the end  

Ginger - how wonderful - keep yourself really warm, drink lots and think positive    happy thoughts.  Get out a funny movie or read a funny book.

Nikki - hope you are doing better 

Ellie - you're right more           

Holly - I'm right with you on all the things we take/do to help get pregnant.  Every 2 days I have to stew then boil the vile chinese herbs, take vits every day, go for acupunture regularly, do yoga and Pilate 3/4 times a week, keep tummy warm, no drinking during the week, eat brazil nuts and pinapple post 'O' and buy pee sticks for both ends of cycle!!!    I too bought bee pollen and have not taken it yet....  looks all well pollen like and firghtened I might have an allergic reaction as I read about this somewhere    

So first month since miscarriage and of course hoping for that positive pee stick thingy again BUT must remember it took a long time to be able to do this last time so patience  .  Off to a wedding in London tomorrow so will have a couple of glasses of champoo.

Happy weekend to you all

Nuala


----------



## Ginger

Hello Goldies

Well it's day 3 of the 2WW and I feel so-so. I have pre menstrual pains (I think) and am a bit swollen (I think) and it's all really odd as I can't remember my last normal cycle and if this is how I felt when AF was due ...... it was only end of December!! I ordered some pee sticks off the internet yesterday, and now I feel bad as I promised the nurst at the clinic I wouldn't test early.

I am also off the ciggies, and the drink and cutting down on caffeine - it's no wonder I feel odd.

Anyhoo my baby sister (23) and her 3 yr old son are visiting this weekend from Ireland so we are going to go on the London Eye and visit Hamleys and have a nice weekend.

I hope you all have a good weekend too - Nuala - enjoy that glass of Champoo (or 2!)

Ginger xxx


----------



## Hollysox

Hi Goldies, sorry not to have posted on here for a few days.  I haven't really got much to say as it is fairly quiet here right now...other than going for my acupuncture which is really good.  Anything to help me with the next round of tx...I am feeling a little bit brighter and seem to have a bit more energy (thanks to the 'spatone' probably !) So, we'll see what happens...I still have these horrid rising fears that I will never see my dream become a reality but I must put them to the back of my mind and think     !

Cesca, any news from Spain yet ?  You must be getting a bit sick now eh ?!  I hope they manage to track down your donor very soon !  Have a great time when your sister visits this weekend hun...

Lorri, hope you enjoyed yourself in Dublin ?  Did you go for any specific reason or just for a break ?  Whaichever, I hope it did you the world of good...

Good luck Ginger for your 2ww  You take it easy hun and dont over do things this weekend.  Have a great time and enjoy the time with your sister and little nephew...

Nuala, have a good time at the wedding tomorrow and enjoy your glasses of Champoo (!)  Have one for me too if you like !

Nikki, I have sent you a pm...I hope that you are ok hun ?  Please take care of yourself  

Ellie, how's it going with you today ?  Have a good weekend everyone...I dont have anything special planned saddo that I am  

Take care everyone and here some group hugs coming your way...


----------



## ULTRA

Hello Goldies,

Sorry for not having posted for some weeks. After my last German Depeche Mode concert my gall bladder flared up again and I had to have an emergency operation in Germany. All went well and the bugger that caused the pain- stone the size of a hazelnut- is out together with the whole gall bladder! I had to rest at home, nice to have your mum around when you are ill. Two weeks after the OP I was well enough to drag myself and oversized suitcase back to England. GP here ordered another week rest so tomorrow is my first day back at work - can't wait!

Now the little bugger is out we can start our second ICSI cycle, stim drugs are in the fridge waiting for AF to appear on Wednesday.

Hi Lorie, Cesca and Nuala - good luck on your way to achieve our final dream. The friend of a friend in the states just had a baby boy at 44 after 6 failed IVF cycles - miracles do happen!


Re suppliments, my consultant at Lister was mildly upset when I told him about some of the food/additives people have suggested are good in prep for tx. He warned about too much Brazil nuts and pineapples and adviced to eat balanced diet and take folic acid and Omega3 only.

Take care, I will keep you informed more regularely now with free reliable Internet at work.

ULTRA-


----------



## cesca

Hi Ultra good to see you back.  Hope all goes well on your next tx.  We are in need of some good news so the pressure 's on!!!


----------



## Hollysox

Hellooooooooo everyone, where is everyone hiding ?

Ok I haven't been on in a while either, not much happening here at the moment !!!

Cesca...how are you doing hun ?  Any news yet   I bet you are getting sick of people asking you that ?  Sorry...I hope you are doing ok though and keeping nice and warm in this cold weather  

Ginger...how are you coping with the dreaded 2ww ?  I hope it's not driving you too crazy   ?  Wishing you tuns of luck for the rest of it though and hope you get that exclusive BFP at the end of it  

Hi Ultra...good to see you back and fighting fit now I hope ?  Wishing you lots of luck for your next lot of tx  

Lorri, hope you have recovered from your trip to Dublin   

Nikki, I have pm'd you hun  

Hope everyone else is doing ok 

Take care all xxx


----------



## Lorri

Hello !!!! 

Dublin was fab ! Apart from the riots on Saturday afternoon, but we managed to get home safely despite that ! 

Hollysox - i went to Dublin as it was dh's birthday. And why not ??!?!?!

Ultra - nice to have you back, hope you are recovering from your op. 

Nikki - I did have some stew, guinness and fried breakfast, but not all at once  

Cesca - Awwwww ! I am so sad for you for the loss of your dh  . I am glad you have found Barry. Lets hope we all win the lottery, it will help pay for tx 

Nuala - I said hello for you, and told Dublin you would be there soon. I hope you enjoyed your champoo this weekend, cheers !!!  

Ginger - well done for keeping off the ciggies

Lx


----------



## Ellie.st

Hello everyone
Lorri - glad you had a good time in Dublin.

Cesca - hope you get some news soon.

Ginger - hope you are hanging on in there.

Hollysox - not much doing here either - except too much work and very cold weather.

Hope everyone else is doing OK too.  As for me, well, I reckon I'll be starting d/r in about seven weeks and my diet to get my BMI down for my next cycle from 27 to 25 has so far succeeded in getting it to ...28.   I eat really healthily and am not sure what to try next (apart from running round the block every night for two hours) - anyone with any ideas on how to get 1.25 stones off in seven weeks will get my full attention and immense gratitude.  

Keep warm everyone, and take care

Ellie


----------



## Lorri

Hi Ellie,
Different things work for different people. What worked for me is cutting down on carbs. I lost loads of weight a couple of years ago by not eating any high carb food, ie cut out potatoes, bread, rice, pasta and sugary foods. I also read all food labels and kept my carb intake as low as possible (you would be surprised at what foods have lots of carbs eg bananas and juices),  It worked for me, and it meant I could eat lots of meat and cheese. I have fallen off the wagon since last BFN and put on half stone, but know I can lose it easily if I try !  

Good luck !


----------



## Ellie.st

Mmmm, thanks Lorri.  Maybe I do need to think about the low carb thing as I eat quite a lot of bananas and drink quite a lot of fruit juice.  It looks like the lovely bread from my new breadmaker is going to have to make a complete exit for a few months as well...  

Thanks again

Ellie


----------



## ULTRA

Hi Elli,

I might have good news for you - I am also on the larger side and raised this with my consultant as I red an article about bigger people not getting the right amount of drugs injected into muscle tissue as it dissolves in fat layers before reaching the blood stream.

He replied that 1. Puregon is NOT soluble in fat so will get where it is needed, 2. he has done research into effect of BMI on success of IVF published in the Lancet I believe in 2004 and he has found *NO* correlation between BMI and success or failure of IVF/ICSI!

So, enjoy a healthy balanced diet, low fat but the occasional treat. I have lost 4 stones with Slimming World within a year and managed to keep 3 off for 4 years now.

Good luck,

ULTRA


----------



## nikkiank

Hi Girls

Sorry I haven't posted for a while but I hope you are all doing ok and I am sending you loads of    and   

Lorri..... so jealous of all that good Irish food.... I hope you had extra helpings for me.  

I have had a few developments good and bad since I last posted but as everything is up in the air right now I will have to fill you in when I know more at the end of next week but I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you all and I will chat soon.... promise.

Take care and many hugs...  
love Nikki xxxx


----------



## zora

HI Nikki welcome back was wondering ohw you were getting on. We're here for you whenever you need us. Thanks for again for all the support you gave me this last cycle 
My news is had my review and like yourself told too porr a responder for IVF. Also been recommended a myomectomy to increase implantation chances but egg quality poor due  to age factor. A lot to take in but not as upset as I was a few days ago. Going on holiday soon to get a break from the whole thing.
How is everyone else doing ?


----------



## Ellie.st

Hi everyone - hope you are all managing to stay cosy in this cold weather.  (It's freezing here).

Zora and Nikki - welcome back.  Hope you are getting the chance to think things through and decide on next steps.  Zora - hope you have a good break.

Ultra - thanks for the reassuring news re the old BMI thing.  I do want to get some weight off just so that I can't blame my BMI if things don't work yet again. However, in my heart of hearts, I don't think my weight is making much difference.  In the 9 years we've been ttc, I've been alot lighter than this and it didn't make any difference.  I have seen some research that suggests that having a BMI of less than 27 may make a marginal difference with IVF outcomes so that it is a realistic target for me over the next few weeks and if I can get any lower, all the better. (Plus I might be able to get back into my pre-Christmas clothes ...)  

Lorri - have looked up my little carb book thanks to you and I will definitely be cutting down on bananas etc.   

Anyway, hope everyone is doing OK.



Ellie


----------



## Lorri

Nikki - I had extra helpings for all Goldies   . Your post is very cryptic, I hope your news is mostly good and that things work out for the best next week. 

Zora - I am glad you are feeling a bit brighter. Sounds like your followup was at least useful. 

Ellie - Good luck with your diet. Don't forget that its the bad carbs (sugars) that are the worst. Only if you are being drastic should you keep the good carbs low (ie Atkins).

Ultra - Well done on the 4 stone ! Keeping it off is just as hard, especially with IVF.

Hollysox - How are you doing ?

Cesca - Any news yet ?

Hi to everyone else

Lx


----------



## cesca

Hi Goldie's... No news as yet ....I emailed the clinic in Spain just to make sure they hadn'tforgotten about us ! But no. the elusive donor is still wandering the streets of Spain enjoying the sunshine, oblivious to all the talk of her in this household!!!!!
I am getting older and older as we speak and I can see I will be mistaken for a grandmother to any babe if something doesn't happen soon!!!!!!!!!    

Nikki ..thinking of you gal and hope all is well .  xxxx 

Zora  hi  have a good holiday ,its a good time to refresh and decide what course of action to take next. I hope you don't mind me asking but what is a myomectomy?

Hi to everyone else ,will keep you all posted about my elusive donor!   cescaxxx


----------



## cesca

Ginger  how are you doing  . wishing you lots of luck.     
  
I'm still doing well with the no ( Low! ) alcohol intake!!! I allow myself a bottle of Stella every now and then!!! Haven't felt any rejuvenating effects yet! Still taking the supplements along with a ginger drink with honey. My Chinese doc says that ginger is good for the blood flow so I grate a bit into some hot water with a bit of organic Honey.( I am beginning to quite like it now) .I still feel 45 though, was expecting to abound with energy but still want to hit the pillow at 9.30pm.!!!


----------



## Ginger

Hi Goldies

It's day 10 of the 2 year week wait!! And I am going silently but definitely mental. On Monday I had AF pains, and cried all day. Tuesday the pain was gone and I had diarrhoea. Today I have back ache and minor pains in my tummy and loads of acid reflux. So, loads of nothing really to make me feel pregnant but enough to make me feel a bit loony. The early pregnancy tests in the bathroom cupboard are calling out to me - pee on me, pee on me ....... can I resist the temptation. I am so dreading more heartache.

I'm going to the DCN annual meeting tomorrow to hopefully meet other similiar lunatic people!! They were a great help last year when were deciding on using donor eggs.

Cesca - where is that donor?? If she only know how much we want her to show herself. I hope she's not AWOL for too much longer.

Lots of love to you all

ginger xxx


----------



## zora

Ginger sorry to be ignoratn what is BCN ?
By the way         .Good luck


----------



## Ginger

Hi Zora,

The DCN is the Donor Conception Network (http://www.dcnetwork.org/)

Thanks for sending the  I am in real danger .......

Ginger xxx

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.UK or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## Ellie.st

Hi Ginger
Hang on in there.  And as Zora says,     

Cesca - am sending     vibes to Spain for you. That donor needs to stop wandering around enjoying the sunshine and tapas and get into that clinic now.   

Well, have now bought myself a veggie low-carb diet book and a digital skipping rope - so watch these pounds melt away before d/r starts (I hope ...).  Only problem is, how do you skip in the snow?    (DH helpfully said I better not try skipping inside the house in case the floor isn't strong enough).

Hello to everyone else.  Hope you are all doing OK.

Ellie


----------



## ULTRA

Hi Everyone,

Hope you all had a good sunny but cold WE - Sussex is just beautiful all year round.

Cesca - well done for the low-no-alcohol regime.I stuggled with that last cycle but managed to stay teatotal for 2ww. 

Now I'm on day 5 od short protocol with 450 Puregon + 5 day Clomid.
Has anyone done this before? I definately have more side effects than last time on pure Puregon. Mainly constant (bearable) headaches (I am reluctant to take any Iborophen). Next scan on Wed will show how many follis are growing, keep fingers and everything else crossed.

Apropos Ginger is good for you - my Mum made some fantastic Ginger liquor over Xmas (ginger is soaked in brandy, turned occationly, kept in the dark, abrakadabra and then YUMMY! Do you think this will help  and / or follies (can't find a symbol for follies, sorry).

-ULTRA-


----------



## yonny

Hi girlies,
been a while since I posted as nothing much had been happening but i started the dreaded sniffing eleven days ago now and am just waiting for AF before i can go have my scan and start everything else!!!
Its all just waiting waiting waiting isnt it!
Sends you mad!
 

Hubby has finally got his date for his variocele op as well, end of this month, so fingers crossed that will  work!!

Hope everyone is doing ok at whatever stage they're at

Lucky old meerkat, off to Spain! Enjoy!!

catch up with you all later,

Love
Yonny x


----------



## cesca

Hi Goldie's    well some news........
I emailed the clinic  in Spain and the nurse there told me that we are NEXT on the list for the lovely blue eyed donor.. She is still strolling round the streets of Marbella but her time for strolling is running out!!!!!!!  Yippee.
                     

Meerkat .. have a great time in Spain and if you do see my blue eyed donor tell her to get her ass into the clinic!!  

Yonny good to see you posting again.. Hope all goes well.

Ultra.. you poor thing  those headaches sound awful... the things we have to go through !  
Love to everyone else  Cesca xxxx


----------



## nikkiank

Cesca

That is great news!!!  

               

I'm sure Meerkat will sort her out!!   

Meerkat I have IM'd you 

lots of love to everyone... 

Nikki xxxx


----------



## Ellie.st

Cesca

Great news!      

Hi to everyone else too.  PS: what do you all think of the embryo court case today (where ex-partner won't allow woman to use their embryos?).  

Anyway, off for my (low-carb) tea ...

Hope everyone is doing OK.

Ellie


----------



## Ginger

Happy Womens Day everyone

I got a   today!!

Can't really believe it after all this time, but it happened and I feel strangely calm, anxious and impatient for a scan in 2 weeks to make sure all is well. But, for now, DH and I are thrilled!!

Thanks so much to you all for your kind and positive thoughts.

Ginger xxx


----------



## *Kim*

Congratulations Ginger i hope you have a happy & healthy pregnancy.

Love Kimx x  x


----------



## cesca

Ginger  what FABULOSO news!!!!!!!!!!  I have been thinking of you all week and I am so glad you got a brill result. Take it easy and stay chilled!!!!   

Well The lovely Ruth emailed me today to say to go on the pill on day 2 of my period which should have turned up today. I did an ovulation test mid cycle and it said I had the surge so where is it? Bl...y typical its late! Anyway  I sped round to the Docs and he prescribed the pill (which was free) its so long since I have needed any contraception that I forgot it was free !!!!    We discussed the other drugs i needed  especially Prostrap which is £120 for one injection.( not sure what it does!)  and he said it was a bit of a grey area but he would do his best to get it on the NHS. He is such a sweetheart!  So girlie's    I could be winging my way to Marbella in the next month or two!!!  (Donor ,get your ass in to the clinic!!!!)   

So excited I'm afraid we cracked open a bottle of wine!!!!!!!!  There goes all my good intentions . Tomorrow is another day!

Nikki Thinking of you hun XXX
  
Dragonfly... where are you?


----------



## Ellie.st

Ginger - fantastic news.           

Cesca - sounds like things are really moving forward for you as well.  

Best wishes to all the other oldies too.

Ellie


----------



## Lorri

Ginger - Many many congratulations  

Cesca - Hurrah, at long last    , Good excuse for a celebration !

ULTRA - any idea when EC is ?

Nikki - any update on your news yet ?

Yonny - how are you getting on ?  Have you started stimming yet ?

Ellie - How is the diet and skipping going ? 

Lx


----------



## zora

Ginger wow what great news hope you have set up a string of


----------



## Fee

Congratulations Ginger
x


----------



## Ellie.st

Hi everyone
Just wanting to wish you all a good weekend. 

Lorri - diet going not too badly (1kg off already this week).  Skipping not doing so well due to (1) DH's ban on indoor skipping (due to concerns re structural damage to house   ) and (2) it's been too cold and snowy outside to stay out for more than about a minute.  However, it's getting milder  - so hopefully more action on the skipping front over the weekend.

Ellie


----------



## cesca

well girls  where has my   gone?  I am never late and it was due on Tuesday. I did one of those ovulation tests and got the smiley face so i don't understand surely it has to come 14 days after ovulation?  (NO I am not pregnant as this is impossible as I only have one tube which is all stuck down)  The brain is so clever!! It knows I want to go on the pill and its just playing with me now  GRRR!!!!!  I haven't told the clinic that I haven't started yet as I feel such a prat  as I said "OH I am always 30 days and Regular"


----------



## nikkiank

Hi Girls

Well just a quick update from me.... events to date.

After they thought I had had a m/c my hcg levels were rising slowly.  They suspected it was ectopic and so a couple of weeks ago had me in for a scan to see where the pregnancy was.  Nothing could be found.  Hcg still rising so they had me in for another scan last week as they needed to make a decision on surgery.  At the last minute it was found in my womb with a heartbeat!    Very pleased it wasn't in my tubes.  Had to go for another scan today to see if it was growing however very sad news.... baby not grown and no heartbeat.  It will be a year tomorrow since my last m/c and we are quite distressed.  Both did a lot of crying at the clinic.    

Anyway... Dr says that as it is so small a pregnancy it shouldn't delay things for me with DE in Spain.  I am just hoping now that it comes away this week on its own.    

Speak to you all sometime soon.  Sorry for such a 'me' post.
much love
Nikki xxx


----------



## suziegirl64

Hello friends

It's been ages, I know. But, in my defence, I have been spying on you all and saying my prayers.  

Nikki, you've been through so much my love. I hope you get some better news soon honey xx

Cesca, never though I'd hear myself saying come on to the   but I am! Maybe her broomstick has a puncture??!

Ginger, WOW - such great news. I've posted a big congrats in the Donor Egg thread for you with lots of dancing creatures!

My news is I started downregging for FET on 25th February - Buserelin 1 sniff 4 x per day. Period started on 6th March - reduced Buserelin to 1 sniff 2 x per day plus Climaval 6mg per day. Scan for endometrial thickness on 20th March. If all OK, FET will take place on 24th.  

I've been feeling remarkably sane on this cycle! The hormones usually turn me into a wimpering wreck or a shrew!! Very calm though, so that's good.

In the midst of all this I've had the BBC down filming for the new documentary about infertility. All very strange getting used to a camera in your face. I'm sure I keep inadvertently doing a David Brent and glancing sideways, meaningfully, into the camera!! Being filmed having ET will be a bit daunting - I might ask "does my bum look big in this?"

Well that's my latest. I'll keep checking in to update and to read all your news.

Love Suzie xx


----------



## *Kim*

Nikki

I am so sorry. No wonder you are both devastated. 


Suzie  please let us know when your going to be on the tele and wishing you lots of luck.

Love kImx  x x


----------



## zora

Nikki really sorry you've been going through such a hard time.Words escape me. We're all here for you still when you need to talk


----------



## Hollysox

Nikki...    I am so sad for you sweetheart.  I wish I knew what to say to help you feel better but we both know nothing will ease this pain you are feeling now...You are in my thoughts and I hope you will find the inner strength to cope with this heartbreak.


----------



## ULTRA

Nicky - Big  for you

Ginger - BIG congratulations so thrilled for you!

Cesca - Well I never thought I would wish you , good luck!

My follies are doing nicely three BIG ones, 2 biggish ones that could be ok. Next scan on Tue morning with possible egg collection Thursday 16th March. I feel much better now that the Clomid is finished, no more headaches. A bit cheesed off with Lister putting their prices up by nearly 12% since 1st January.

But feeling very positive, will tell my boss I have "woman's problems needing day surgery" and have to take 3-4 days off. Feel a bit bad after having all this time off for my gall bladder operation, but feel I have to give it my best shot as time for these eggies is running out  with speed of light!

All the best to everyone and lots of  

-ULTRA-


----------



## cesca

Hi Goldie's.. well    arrived with a vengeance today so have been feeling pretty grotty. I just lay on the settee with a hot water bottle and watched a film or two!  but at least I can start the pill tomorrow and then i can officially say I'm having treatment!!!!  (saddo!)

Ultra.. you sound like you have a nice crop of follies . Hope all goes well. Drink lots of organic milk it helps them grow according to my Chinese doc.


  Nikki... sending you big hugs


----------



## Lorri

Nikki - i don'tknow what to say, its horrid what you have been through  

Cesca - At last  

Ultra - Don't feel guilty, you need to take care of no 1. No doubt your company looks after itself first. This tx is far more important. 

Suzie - You are so brave to do this on tv ! Whenwill it be on ?  You will have to remind us

I am back from my retreat weekend, and have been alternative therapied to within an inch of my life ! 

Lx


----------



## Ellie.st

Hello everyone
Cesca - glad that things are really getting going now.  Hope you are feeling better today.

Nikki  - I am sorry that you have had a horrible time.  

Ultra - put yourself first, and fingers crossed for you with the tx.

Lorri - do you feel the better of your retreat weekend?  By the way, have just noticed your photo: what a lovely cat - is he yours?  

Suzie - being filmed during IVF must be ... interesting!  Tell us more (not to mention when you are going to be on TV).

DH away on business yet again.  He will need a name badge soon at home.     Anyway, off to make (low carb) tea, watch a bit of TV, do a bit of knitting, read another bit of my latest whodunnit, and snuggle up in bed with the cat (who's not allowed on bed when DH is at home) ...  Am I turning into a bit of an old maid in DH's absence?    


Ellie


----------



## dianne

*Ultra * 
All the best for this cycle             
The girls are right put yourself first  

Dianne x


----------



## Lorri

Ellie - I do feel better for my weekend. It has recharged my batteries and given me some hope for the future, and renewed strength.  I can wholeheartedly recommend it.  BTW the cat is my lovely Oscar, wonderful nature (the local mice don't agree). He is my "baby. I used to do knitting, but never seem to find the time anymore. Well done on keeping on with the diet ! 

Lx


----------



## cesca

Hi Goldie's... Well have been on the pill now for 2 days and I already feel premenstrual!!!!!! I hope its going to agree with me . Not having been on the pill for so many years I can't remember what I was like!!!
I went to my Chinese doc this morning and He was amazed at how much my energy had jumped up from last week. I had read an article  on FF about  yang deficiency and have been eating the warm foods it recommended.( Lorri  I think you read the same article)  It really works!!!  Ginger, yams wholewheat rice ,oats winter squash etc  Amazingly I do feel alot less tired!! ( maybe thats coz of the lower alcohol intake!!  )  Chinese Doc said he would keep an eye on how the pill is affecting me and give me herbs if it brings my energy down. 
So now all I have to do is be patient and wait for the clinic to ring with the captured donor!   
Love to everyone  Cescaxxxx


----------



## ULTRA

Hi Girls,

Just had the call from the Lister, all is well for EC Thursday morning. I had four big follies (15mm) and one smaller one (12mm) according to todays scan. Have been drowning gallons of organic milk since cesca gave me that tip from her Chinese Doc (thanks cesca!) so hopefully the little one will make it as well, fingers crossed.

Had my talk with boss (male), did it very clinical talking about fibroids and uterus etc and offered to take annual leave for a week. I could see him cringing inwardly (iiihh woman's stuff, yuck), don't understand it as we are both scientists saying ohh don't worry, what ever, good luck and all the best come back when you're well (but shut up now with this "stuff") 

So tomorrow last day, brief my deputy again (serves him right he desperately wanted the job) and then first legs then feet up! Thank you all for your support, feels great all this   and   , I'll keep you posted

-ULTRA-


----------



## nikkiank

Hi Girls

I just want to say a big thank you to you all for your lovely messages.    You are all very kind.  I am still waiting to miscarry and will have to contact the Dr on Friday if this hasn't started by then so I can arrange to go in to hospital.  

Not up for posting much right now but I am sending you all my love...  

Ultra... lots of     for Thursday.  

Speak to you all soon
Nikki xxxx


----------



## dianne

*Nikki *

Oh love, special thoughts for you, so hope it is all over soon 


Dianne x


----------



## ULTRA

Nikki,

Thanks for your good wishes, my thoughts are with you. Come back when you are ready, love

-ULTRA-


----------



## cesca

Ultra... good luck for tomorrow  hopefully  those follies are all lovely and fat and have some lovely ripe eggs in there!  cescaxxx


----------



## ♥Meerkat♥

Best of luck for tomorrow Ultra
   
The Goldies will all be rooting for you! 
     

Meerkat x


----------



## cesca

Ultra ...  how are you?  thinking of you. Cescaxxx


----------



## ULTRA

Hi Goldies,

Many thanks for your good wishes and    for my EC on Thursday. Unfortunately it was not meant to be. There were only 2 eggs, one very immature which could not been injected with sperm. The second one matured overnight and was injected with sperm on Friday, but when the clinic called again at 17:00 it showed no signs of fertilisation. They said they will observe it over night and ring back on  Saturday morning but giving me not much hope. Still when the call came on Sat morning it was devastating. I never imagined failing at this stage, I took it for granted that we will have at least one embryo for transfer like with our first time. I wanted to do it all better this time, had planned everything into detail, took whole week off work under "false pretence" and then this. 
Too upset to contemplate anything at the moment, DP has also 3 days off (not easy as we work in the same firm and have to keep our relationship private). Will mourn our twinkle that wasn't even a twinkle, use the celebration champagne to drown our sorrows and try to look forward to our four Depeche Mode Concerts starting in 10 days time!
The embryologist has suggested to ring the Lister on Monday to make an appointment to see a our consultant, but I don't know if that is not too early. 
In the meantime do take care, and good luck.

-ULTRA-


----------



## suziegirl64

Ultra  

Oh my goodness, you must feel devastated. I can't begin to imagine.   

There's nothing I can say but know I'm thinking of you today  

Love
Suzie xx


----------



## Lorri

Ultra,
What devastating news. Its horrid to fail at any stage, I am so upset for you. You are probably right to give it some time before seeing your consultant again, you need to grieve for your loss first.

Take care  

Lx


----------



## suziegirl64

Hello all

I'm having my scan tomorrow to check endometrial thickness  I'm so bloated, I hope that's a good sign! With a bit of luck, embryo transfer will be on Friday. I'll update you on the outcome tomorrow evening.  I hope I don't have to keep on with the buserelin much longer!      

We'll have the BBC following us this time which I'm a bit nervous about - must remember to shave my legs in the morning - not to mention my bikini line     

I'll find out tomorrow about how my embryos have been frozen. Presumably they have to defrost a whole straw at a time. I just don't know how many they put in each straw at Guys. I really hope they've done them singley - maybe their decision is based upon how many you have in the first place. I can't remember this ever being discussed with us. We only want a single embryo transferred this time and I just can't bear the thought of throwing away perfectly healthy embryos    - I do think of them as my babies-in-waiting not just a bunch of cells. Roll on tomorrow....

Well, night night everyone. I'm off to bed for the second time - couldn't sleep earlier - mind racing - so here I am posting at nearly 1.30am 

Suzie xx


Love Suzie x


----------



## cesca

hi Goldie's...still waiting so no news. 

Ultra  so sad to read your news.  I wish there was something to say to ease your pain . When you hit a wall like that it is very difficult to decide how to get over it,but it will come and I wish you all the best,xxx     


Suzie  how did you get on today ?

  hi to everyone else    Cescaxxxxx


----------



## suziegirl64

Hi All

Cesca - I have updated in the Donor Egg thread and really really thought I had here too   I blame it on the drugs!! My appointment was yesterday but didn't get a chance to go online until late in the evening!

My lining is beeeeeautiful!! They were hoping for 8mm and I've managed 9mm!! So, ET will go ahead on Friday. No more Buserelin for me! Just the Cyclogest suppositories to cope with then!!    You can officially call me windygirl64 from now on!!  

Had a good chat with the embryologist - they are always sooo knowledgeable, patient and helpful! As we only want 1 embryo transferred, we've agreed to defrost 1 by 1 until we get 2 that thaw successfully. They will do this on Thursday and if both are thriving on Friday, 1 will be transferred and the other one will be taken on to blastocyst stage and then refrozen. Apparently, because they were frozen on day 3, this is the best thing to do if refreezing. I feel much better knowing we did everything we could to minimise the risk of destroying a perfectly healthy embryo.

How on earth am I going to sleep for the rest of this week now? And then there's the 2ww to get through...    

Love Suzie xx


----------



## cesca

Hi Goldies... I AM GETTING VERY BORED WITH THE WATING NOW!


----------



## Ellie.st

Hi everyone

Cesca - hang on in there.  Every day that passes is a day nearer ...

Suzie - good luck for Friday.  Sounds like things are going well.

Ultra - I am so sorry about your news.  Hope you get your follow-up appointment arranged soon.

Lorri - how are you doing?  And how is your lovely pussy cat?

Well, just it's just work, work, work and snow here.  And I turn 42 at the weekend    .  I think I will stop counting now.

Best wishes to everyone

Ellie


----------



## Lorri

Windygirl64 - Good luck with ET on Friday and the dreaded 2ww  

Cesca - Where is that donor ?  Here is a donor finding dance
      

Ellie - Work work work for me too ! Just got my AF and so as I am planning to tx on my next AF, I am on a countdown !   - FSH allowing ! I have also arranged time off work so I can give it my all. Oscar is doing OK, thanks, soldiering on like the little trooper he is. 

Zora - How are you ? 

Nikki - I hope you are doing OK and that things have resolved for you. 

Hi to everyone else

Lx


----------



## Lorri

Ellie - Meant to say, I hope you have a fab Birthday this weekend ! 42 is young, I will be there myself in a few months, so it has to be


----------



## Ginger

Hi Girls,

Sorry this is a me, me, me post. I know this news is difficult for some and hope that my news will bring hope and encouragement.

We had our first scan today - at 6 wks and 1 day, and it's real, we saw it, I can maybe begin to believe it now. We have a real beanie on board - a beautiful 6.3 mm bean with a little heart beat and we are so overjoyed!! Our first call was to our donor who is equally overjoyed. 

It was a horrible, heart stopping morning - the last time we skipped into Barts, almost 6 years ago, for a first scan our world fell apart as it was ectopic at 8 weeks. DH and I have hardly been able to look at each other for the past few days, afraid to say anything, afraid to think of the past and not daring to imaging the future, it's been really weird.

It's been such an anxious time but there it was - the most wonderous sight, I feel like a big hole in my future has been filled, I'm lost for words. 

I wish you all your dreams come true and truly pray that we all get the much longed for outcome we so desire.

Ginger xxxx


----------



## suziegirl64

Hi guys

Ginger -   Fantastic!! What wonderful news! I'm so happy for you - it does give me hope and encouragement. Here's  wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy from here on in  

Ellie - Happy Birthday for the weekend - I'm 42 in 2 weeks too   1964 was the year of the beautiful people   

We had to defrost 6 of our good quality embies to get 2 survivors. I know I should be happy to have them but I just feel absolutely gutted to be down to 2 good quality frosties for the future. We do have another 6 frosties but they were quite badly fragmented - we were advised not to bother freezing these but we insisted. 

I have ET tomorrow and I must get myself feeling more positive, I know. I'm so lucky to have any at all and need to focus on that. Sorry for whingeing.  

I'll fill you in tomorrow on the ET.

Love Suzie xx


----------



## Ellie.st

Hi everyone

Ginger - what great news. Like Suzie - wishing you all the best for a healthy and happy pregnancy.  Keep us posted!

Lorri - looks like we might be having our tx at the same time as I think I will be starting d/r in about three weeks. Are you doing long or short protocol?  (I'm in for the long haul once again!). My poor cat is in for a rude awakening tonight as DH is back from a weeklong business trip -  she keeps me company on the bed at night when he's away but is subject to a strict DH ban on sharing the duvet when he is at home.

Suzie - good luck for ET tomorrow.  Sending you and those embies lots of     vibes.

Cesca - hope that donor is getting a move on.    

PS: Thanks for all the birthday wishes.  Looks like I am in excellent company as I hit 42!  

Hello to all the other oldies too.

Ellie


----------



## nikkiank

Hi Girls

Sorry I haven't posted for a while... I went into hospital for my ERPC last Sunday (god where DO they think these names up) to remove the pregnancy.  We were both very sad and could feel the tears welling up before they gave me the anaesthetic but it is over now.  Just spotting a bit.

I am off to Spain on Tuesday to get onto their waiting list for a Donor Egg and once that is out of the way I expect I will be back posting again as usual.

Ultra... I was so sorry to hear your news  

Ginger.... good to see that everything looked good at the scan  

I will be 42 in May this year .... so      I am going with the 1964 being the year of beautiful people theme....    

Suzie.... lots of luck to you and I hope everything goes wonderfully today..  we will all be positive for you!        

Lorri... thank you for asking about me.  Hope Oscar is doing well.  My cats have been a bit clingy over the last week or so... I think they know that something has been afoot... but at least I am getting lots of cuddles out of them...    

Cesca.... I am taking out with me a special blue eyed lady seeker.... it is specially formulated to track down only those with blue eyes!!    Then I will ensnare her with a special trap and make sure she finds her way to CERAM!!!      I feel like Inspector Gadget.

Sorry if I have missed everyone.... thank you for all your support and speak soon
lots of love
Nikki xx    
Ellie....


----------



## suziegirl64

Hi all

Nikki -   What a horrid time for you, very sad. Hope Spain brings you some much needed luck and maybe a little bit of therapeutic sunshine! 

Well, my 2 embies went from 7 to 10 cells and 4 to 6 cells overnight which the embryologist was very happy with. The 10 cell is safely on board    The 6 cell is being taken on to blastocyst stage and, if it makes it, will be refrozen. And so begins the long 2ww! I can test on 6th April but as I am away for a few days won't be able to post my news until I get back on 8th.

I'm going to bed now for a nice sleep! I feel so exhausted.

Love 
Suzie xx


----------



## nikkiank

Glad all went well Suzie... have everything crossed for you!!    

Have a nice sleep.  
Nikki 
xxxxx


----------



## Lorri

Ginger - Its always good to hear success stories on the over 40s, it gives me so much hope and encourages me to continue, as I can see it does work ! Congratulations ! So happy for you

Nikki - I am glad you are looking to the future. Cuddles certainly help during the tough times. Oscar is doing OK and demandig loads of cuddles too. Take care  

Suzie - Great news about your embie and the other one being possibly being able to refrozen. 6th April, new tax year, new baby   

Cesca - Can't be too much longer. Do they advertise ?

Ellie - I hope I will be cycling in about 4 weeks, but will definitely be doing the short protocol. How long will you d/reg for ? Any idea ?  Short Protocol is fab, straight into stims !

1964 was truly a fantastic year for beautiful people !! 

Lx


----------



## Ellie.st

Hi everyone

Nikki - sorry about the hard time you've been having.  Hope you have a good break - you deserve it.  

Suzie - great news re the embies.  Good luck with your 2ww.    

Well, I am now well and truly 42. Thanks for all the birthday wishes - good to know I am part of such a great vintage.    DH and I went away for the weekend and had a brill time revisiting our old student haunts (plus some new ones which we couldn't afford way back then!!!).

Lorri - I think I will be starting d/r in about three weeks - d/r for about 18 days, I think, then move on to stimming for about ten days after that so even if our EC/ET and 2ww don't exactly coincide, we will probably both be all hormonal about the same time.       I am sticking with the long protocol as I responded to it OK on both my previous cycles and hopefully it will be OK this time too. They are however increasing my stimming dose a little (from 150 to 200ius).  I must say that I do like the idea of not having to d/r, however - so much less hanging about plus (hopefully) fewer side effects.  

Anyway, new birthday resolution is for more leisure time with DH, so must go and keep him company.

Ellie


----------



## Lorri

Ellie - Wow,200ius !!! Last cycle I was on 600ius ( ) !


----------



## Ellie.st

Lorri

Apparently I have the body of a younger woman - but not on the outside, as DH has been very quick to point out!    

Have had a bit of a bad day today as I phoned clinic to arrange to start d/r only to discover by accident that they have mucked up (for the second time) arranging a test I was to have (AntiCardiolipin Antibodies IGM) and that it will take another 4-5 weeks minimum to get the results through now.  I need to phone them tomorrow morning to see if there is any way round this. (They left the good news on my answering machine and were closed before I got the message). I was so pschyched up to start this month, and time is not on the side of us beautiful 1964 people, so it has been a bit of a blow discovering this hold-up.  Have been sobbing for an hour at DH but he says I should go ahead anyway as the chances of the test showing up a problem are minimal,  However, I can't face the thought of doing another cycle then discovering that something was wrong which could have been treated. In addition, there have been a few mix-ups with the clinic over the last week which are making me start losing confidence in them.  Trouble is that going somewhere else will involve us in mega expense and logistics because of where we live.

Anyway, enough moaning from me.  Will do my best assertiveness thing tomorrow and see what happens! I suppose one month isn't going to make much difference and I could make good use of the time to get some more weight off.  

Hi to everyone else.

Ellie


----------



## suziegirl64

Ellie  and lots of     that you can continue with your plan to cycle this month. As if you haven't got enough on your plate.  

Thanks to all for your good wishes and positive vibes!

I had a very bad morning today. Woke feeling really down and then the embryologist called me to say that the 2nd embryo didn't make it to blast. I felt really upset about it. Sent me into a spiral of horrible negative thoughts. It's not like me, I'm usually quite a positive person. My mood's lifted a lot now but I can't stop thinking about my tiny snowbaby and how it may have survived in my womb   

Needing some serious positive vibes now! I've eaten a whole box of Mingles and even that hasn't helped  

A shower and bed is what I need now.

Love to all

Suzie xx


----------



## Ellie.st

Dear Suzie
Thanks for the     thoughts and here are some for you as well.    
Sorry to hear about your second embryo but it doesn't mean that your first one isn't snuggling in with you - I'm sure the best place for it is inside you and I bet it enjoyed the endorphins from the Mingles!!!

Take care.

Ellie


----------



## yonny

Hi girls, 
I know its been ages since I posted but its really just been one big waiting game for me! 
Have had my second b/l scan but there were follies there which they didnt want to be there so I had an ovitrelle injection and then five days of provera to bring on AF!!
This is now the 7th day after the last provera tablet and still nothing!!!!!! 
So, basically Im still sniffing!!!!
DH finally had the op on his variocele yesterday so he is in immense pain bless him! 
Keeping busy looking after him!

Anyhow, sorry its so short, I really need to go read up on the last few pages as I have a lot to catch up on so Ill just say love, hugs and  
to all of you!!
Take care
Yonny x


----------



## Lorri

Suzie - So sorry about your other embie   . Ellie is right, snuggled up inside you is the best place for  your embie to be     

Yonny - welcome back ! I hope you move on to stimming v soon. What a brave dh !!! 

Cesca - Any news yet ?  

Nikki - hope you are enjoying spain. V interested to hear how you get on

Lx


----------



## cesca

Hi Goldie's  . still NO news!!! aarrhhhh  
Suzie sorry to hear about your little embie not making it to blast but you have one which you need to be giving all your positive vibes which is snuggled up inside you. That is where they should be and is the BEST place to grow. Some clinics find it very difficult to take embies to blast as the culture needed is very precise. Your womb has all the right ingredients so I'm sure he /she will be safe and well .  Love and hugs  xxx  

Yonny nice to hear from you good luck with everything xxx

Ellie  good luck with it . Things never seem to go the way we want it to but just chill and go with the flow! Another month gives you more time to perfect your" temple"!!!  (body being your temple )

Love to all especially my elusive donor!!!


----------



## Ellie.st

Hi Cesca

Keep taking the patience tablets - they will pay off ...  Here's a donor-catching dance for you in the meantime:
       

Suzie - how are you getting on.  Here are some more     vibes.

Hi Yonny - hope things move on for you and that DH is feeling less tender soon!

As for me, well, GP came up trumps today and has arranged the outstanding test for me via my local hospital so I might have the results back in time to start a cycle later this month.

Ellie


----------



## suziegirl64

Yonny - Hope your hubby is feeling better. Sounds like a painful time for him.  It feels SO wrong whenever I say this but I hope your AF  appears soon! All the waiting around is one of the worst parts about tx I think. Good luck with everything.

Ellie - Thanks for thinking of me.  I feel better today thank you! So happy that your GP has intervened, that's just fab. So often GPs are less than helpful in these situations.  for everything going smoothly from here on in.

Cesca - Thank you for your comforting words of support.  When will the Spanish IF police send out a properly organised search party for your señorita? Well maybe you should do it yourself. Here is a rather Goofy looking egg catcher for you!  

**







Lorri - thank you too for thinking of me  I know you're on the long wait to start tx. Hope it's not too hard!

Well I've been feeling a lot better today moodwise - hopefully it stays that way! I've been feeling really nauseous all day today  and last night I felt so queasy at the sight and smell of the roast beef my DP cooked. I LOVE roast beef!! I know it's way too early for pg symptoms but DP reminded me that I was exactly the same really early on after our last tx.  I don't attach any real weight to that but he's convinced that it's going to work this time. Bless! He's usually very measured and realistic about things but not this time. I'm not sure if I like it or not! 

I've slept for half the evening as I felt shattered when I got in from work. Obviously now I'm wide awake. I just can't seem to keep away from my bed when I come home! Hopefully I'll feel sleepy by the time I've updated the many threads I'm on! Apologies to anyone who has to read my blurb more than once on other threads - how very very dull for you!

Anyway have a good Wednesday. I expect I'll check in again tomorrow.
Love Suzie xx

**Disney Easter image courtesy of The Theme Gallery http://www.thethemegallery.com/main.html

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.UK or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## cesca

Suzie  every time I have been pregnant even when I have lost them I have known really early on .the feelings of nausea were the sign for me and it usually started  about 7  days post ET.Hopefully this will be good for you too. I know the drugs can make you feel awful too but keep positive and let the good feelings flow through your body ...always better for a growing embie!!  Good luck I will be praying it all turns out great for you both            
Thanks for my egg catcher  I hope my senorita looks prettier than that!!!


----------



## cesca

Hi Goldies A bit of advise needed. This pill I am taking is turning me into someone I don't like . I just feel so angry at everyone all the time. I had a real go at my son today and then my horse! I just can't believe its me, I am normally such an easy going gal. I feel so guilty now and just want this PMT feeling to go . Do you think that I should ask to change brands or just sweat it out?...... grrrrr


----------



## suziegirl64

Hi Cesca honey

Ooh sorry you're feeling so hormonal   It's horrid isn't it? I don't know anything about the pill but if it was me I would probably have a chat with the doctor to get some advice. Have you got to take it continuously until they find a donor? If so, that could be hard if you have to wait a while. 

When my sister donated to me, she started Provera from Day 21 of her cycle. I started Buserelin x 4 sniffs a day and Provera from day 21 of my cycle (My day 21 was after hers) Then I stopped Provera on day 28 but continued Buserelin. As soon as my period started, my sister was able to stop Provera.

From what I understood, the main thing was to make sure her period came after mine. 

Not sure if that helps even a tiny bit   I will say though that I remember I felt in a vile mood on Provera even though it was only 7 days! My sister did too but because our cycles were fairly close, she only had to be on it for about 2 weeks.

 Hope you don't have to suffer too long xx


----------



## Lorri

Cesca
Have you considered acupuncture ?  It has helped my PMT, last couple of months I was no longer   or   , but more  

There are vitamins that can help pmt, Ithink its b12 or magnesium, not really sure, but it might be worth a shot finding out. 

Either that or ask dh to hide all the sharp objects and buy you chocolates and flowers every day


----------



## Ellie.st

Hi everyone

Cesca - hope you are feeling less hormonal today.  Have you tried Bachs Rescue Remedy?  Taking regular low GI snacks (eg dried fruit, oatcakes etc) to keep your blood sugar from dipping might help too. 

Suzie - how are you today?

Yonny - hope you are doing OK and that DH is recovered.

Lorri - are you getting sorted out for your tx?

I'm booked in to start d/r on 16th April assuming that outstanding blood test result comes through in time.  However, I have also taken plunge today and arranged to go for some immune tests (NK tests etc) in London (scary adventure for us country cousins up north!) mid-April so now have a fall-back as apparently that would still give me time to be on extra medication (if needed) before EC/ET time (assuming, touch wood, that I get that far). 

Take care everyone

Ellie


----------



## belladonna

Hi ladies

I wonder if i can join you, i know i am not 40, but 39, so nearly! i spend my time pouring over posts looking for bfp's with ladies my age and over  . i had fet feb 15th and got a bfp! i was over the moon, my first ever pregnancy, but alas last thursday my mum and i went to london for my 7wk scan and was told that i had a non viable pregnancy  . I was totally devestated! i still can't stop crying.  I was told to stop the progynova and progesterone and to expect a bleed! which was a slight understatement!  i had to pull something from my bdy (tmi, sorry) it was like a long cord, i pulled it and attached was a small plum shaped object, i think it was the sack? Since then i have had severe bleeding and had to call an ambulance on tuesday evening, the bleeding would not stop.  i was left on a trolley in a 'storage cuboard' for 4 hours on my own, bleeding and in pain, there was no call button and the place was filthy!  i know how busy the nursing staff are, but i have never felt so uncared for and alone. I discharged myself in the end! sorry rant over!

I have 3 frozen embies left but the consultant said they were low grades so she does't hold out much hope. the plan is to have another fresh cycle asap.  How long would you suggest for me to wait between treatments? any ideas ladies? i feel like the clock is ticking away and it really does feel like i am up against the clock.

kind regards
donna x x x x


----------



## suziegirl64

Hi Donna

Oh my goodness you poor poor love  sounds like a really horrible experience you've just been through. Made me cry just thinking about it.   

Your main priority right now has to be YOU! Give yourself time to get over your sad loss and the distressing physical experience you had. (Don't even get me started on your treatment at casualty   )  You'll never forget losing your baby but you will feel stronger in time  

From a physical point of view, I would wait for 2 full menstrual cycles to complete before having more treatment - let your body get back to normal. The emotional side is another matter all together and only you can decide that. 

What I'm going to say now may be controversial but I'm going to say it anyway. After my mc last year, I found I was getting obsessed with the fertility friends boards and, to be honest, I realised it was keeping me in a dark place instead of helping me move on. Like you, I would pore over the threads looking for similar cases to me or make myself cry reading all the stories of loss and sadness. When I realised what I was doing to myself, I had a complete break from the boards for a little while and when I did come back, I just went to the "Girl & Boy Talk" thread to read the jokes and other lighthearted stuff.  Don't get me wrong, I honestly don't know what I would have done without all the support I've got from the wonderful people on the FF. I just needed some time out from constantly thinking about IF and TX. I don't know if this will help you or not but it's worth thinking about.

Sending you  . Hope you have plenty of support around you. Don't be afraid to ask for help and let yourself be comforted whenever you can get it.


Thinking of you
Suzie xx


----------



## belladonna

Thank you suzie for your kind words. You're right, my body does need a rest.  It is difficult though, this ivf buisiness. My place of work do not know, i keep having the odd annual leave day for scans etc. They wouldn't understand anyhow, so definately no support there!!

My friends and family are supportive though, i'm going it alone you see!   thats the part some people find difficult to get their heads around. i am single, oh yeah, i have had men in my life, but the majority of them i wouldn't choose to father a child if they were the last men on earth, so i decided to go it alone, time wasn't on my side and i had heaps of gynae problems  rightly or wrongly i'm here and just as desperate and longing as you married ladies, i hope that makes sense.  

hope you are all well today
donna x x x x


----------



## suziegirl64

Hi donna

I'm sure this is the last place you would get judged for wanting a baby as a single woman. I know exactly what you mean about unsuitable men in the past. Me too. As much as I wanted a family I was sensible enough not have a baby with any of them - even though there was pressure at times. Much better to have a baby alone than be joined emotionally to an unsuitable man for the next X number of years. In my opinion.

I've been with my partner for 10 years but we're not married and don't live together either. (Practically next door but not together!) You think your situation is weird to other people!! When we were looking into adoption, social services looked at us as though we both had horns or something. They can get their head around a loving and committed gay couple adopting but not a loving and committed heterosexual couple who choose not to live together. We knew that only one could actually adopt because we're not married. I was going  to be the adopter but we were practically told it was best that Robert didn't exist for the purpose of adoption as he would "complicate" things. Needless to say feelings were hurt and we were rather put off at a very early stage.

Anyhow, I just want you to know that there are all sorts of families that don't conform to the "traditional" sort. When he/she finally arrives, your baby will be wanted and loved and cared for. That's what is important. I hope you feel you can speak freely on here without fear. It's wonderful that you have such fantastic friends and family supporting you. It makes all the difference.

You take care of yourself

Love Suzie xxx


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## belladonna

hey  suzie, how are you doing today? i've noticed you're on the 2ww!  oh gosh it wasn't that long ago i was there. how are you feeling? 6 days to go, oh suzie i have got everything crossed for you        you so deserve this special gift. take it easy hun.

i went to my g.p today, i'm not sleeping very well and as i've mentioned before i feel so emotional i cry for no reason. the doc said it is natural and normal the way i am feeling and has signed me off work for 2 weeks, he says he wants me to go to mum and dads for some TLC! i have a scan on sunday to make sure everything has come away and then i am going to take the docs advice and go to mums. i need a cuddle  

hi to you all, hope you are well

big hugs donna x x x x


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## suziegirl64

Hi again Donna

Thanks for the encouragement and the crossed everything!!

Your doc is so right. I was signed off for 2 weeks when I had my mc last year. It takes a lot of getting over and your mum's sounds like the best place for you. Go get some cuddles and loves girl! 

Sadly, I lost my mum 12 years ago but when she was here she used to say to me "Oh Suzie, just go out and get yourself pregnant. I'll help you look after it." We used to have a right laugh about it! She would have been incredibly supportive just like your mum is and I DEFINITELY would have gone to her in my hour of need. When you're lucky enough to have a special mum, you know you can trust them with anything.

Take the time off and look after yourself. Get some cuddles and some fresh air and lots and lots of love.

Suzie xx


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## druzy

Hello

I just thought I 'd but in here as I'm around the same age and also testing on April 6th (IVF 2 embies)!

Do you have any symptoms at all suziegirl64?  I have to say that I will eat this entire computer (and it's one of those big old fashioned screens!) if I get a positive as I have the same symptoms as with the 2 previous failed IUIs.  That is sore boobs until yesterday and now, if anything, feel slimmer, fitter and better than usual (because of all the rest and extra attention from DH I suspect!).  Not, however, how I would expect to feel if I was up the duff?!  Although I am assured that some people have no symptoms at all, seems odd to me. 

Hope it's going well for you and fingers crossed.

lol

Druzy xx


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## yonny

Hi girls,
A quick update from me!!
DH still in pain but getting better 
As for me..............I went for a third scan last thursday to be told by my con that I had two fab eggs inside ......and it might be worth doing IUI!!
So on Friday I was back at the hospital being basted!!! Surreal! 
So, officially i guess Im on the 2ww!
Dont feel terribly hopeful as poor DH only had a SA of 5 million yesterday( he has had an op bless him!) and the con was looking at a previous of 19 million when he suggested it so...........................we'll see!!!!

Cesca, susie, lorri.....hope you're well?  
Donna,you poor love!!! Hope youre feeling a little stronger! 

Love and hugs to all

Yonny x


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## suziegirl64

Hi Druzy

Nice to meet you!

Have a look at my 2WW diary. It's not terribly interesting but I've listed any real or imagined (!) symptoms there:- http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,52603.0.html

i know what you mean about eating the computer!  I might just do something equally irrational if I get a bfn this time. All we can do is wait and see. That's the worst bit - having no control now.

You just try to relax  and make sure your lovely dh continues with the extra attention malarkey! By the way, it made me laugh reading you say "up the duff"! It's refreshing to hear that phrase amongst all the scientific and emotional angst!

Love Suzie xx


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## Ellie.st

Dear Yonny
Good luck with your 2ww!    

Ellie


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## druzy

Hi Suzie

thanks for reply.  In fact I was just looking at your posts and diary as you are the same age as me etc.  I see you have been through the mill and very sorry about the m/c, cold comfort I know, but you know you can conceive.  

From reading your diary your symptoms sound positive to me.  I've been nosing in quite a few diaries that then went on to be positive and AF pains without AF around day 7 and 8 seems generally a +ve sign as does sore nipples.  In fact my "normal" friends who have conceived have said about the AF pains without AF - implantation pains.

Some people have claimed to have no symptoms at all, but, like I say, seems very odd to me. 

I'm right in thinking that you are using DE from your sister?  That's a much higher chance.  Our age (I'm 41 in May, damn it, next month) is not good with own eggs is it.  Infact I've also found out on here that it's about 12.5%..... I'm thinking seriously too about DE.  Unfortunately I only have 1 brother and no cousins either so I'm thinking of going to Spain. If you'd told me that I would do that a year ago I would never have believed it but now I think it's something I could do.  Apparently then its a 60% chance less 10% for miscarriages so that has to work eventually.... it seems a bit "star trek" but when you have come this far.....I think it's very good if you have a younger sister that donates - that's great and fingers crossed.

This time next week we will know who's made it UP THE DUFF 

lots of love

Druzy


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## belladonna

hi ladies,

how are you feeling today? i am feeling a little brighter. its a lovely sunny day today so i've been out in the garden pottering with my barbara striesand c.d booming out to anoy the neighbours, you can't beat abit of babs! although some songs make me   !   fantastic!

When i recently had my bfp, on the 2ww (b4 the silent miscarriage) i had symptoms of extremely sore boobs, increase in visits to the loo, my sense of smell was more acute and around day 12/13 i started feeling a little nauseous, but only fleetingly!

fingers crossed ladies for a bfp!    

donna x x x x


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## Lorri

Yonny - Good luck with 2ww     

Druzy - Welcome to Goldies !  I know what you mean about never thinking you would be here, thinking about DE etc. A few years back I never thought I would consider IVF and would accept being childless, but changed my mind  ! If my 3rd and final attempt fails, I am going to think about DE too, I don't have younger family member to donate either, so it would be Spain for me too. Very best of luck with 2ww   hopefully you won't need any more DE thoughts.

Suzie - Hope you are not going  

Donna - Big cyber hugs for you   . I hope you do go to your mum's for TLC you certainly will feel better for it. 

Cesca - How are you ? Can't be too much longer !

Ellie - How is the diet ? 

Hello to Zora, Nikki and everyone else, hope you are OK.

I am sitting here with Oscar firmly ensconced on my lap in front of my laptop. I wish I had longer arms, as its a bit of a stretch, but he won't budge, bless him      

Lx


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## sukey

Hello all,   this is my first post on this forum and I'm not quite sure if I'm in the right place.   I'm 45 and have just had my fourth IVF treatment, currently on the dreaded two week wait.   Its very hard to be positive when the other three goes didn't work (I remember feeling quite confident on the first go).   I'm reading your posts and trying to get to know you all.  Good luck to anyone else on 2WW and whatever stage of treatment you're at.
Sukey


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## Lorri

Hi Sukey

You are in the right place if you want to chat to like-minded over 40s who are ttc, whether it be natural, IUI, IVF or ICSI and at whatever stage. To have received a BFN is truly hard (I have had 2) and to remain positive is even harder, but it is important to believe that it can work. 

There is another thread dedicated to ladies on the 2ww

Welcome and good luck - when do you test ? 

Lx


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## sukey

Thanks for the welcome Lorri.  I test on Good Friday!
Sukey


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## ♥Meerkat♥

Hi Sukey



Welcome to FFs.  All the very best for your test on Good Friday and I really hope that this is your time and you receive your BFP     

Can I just ask which clinic is treating you?



Meerkat x


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## Ellie.st

Hello Sukey - good luck with your 2ww.

Donna - liked the idea of you in the garden with Barbara Steisand.  I wish it was warm enough to do that here!  (Plus I have an essay to get done for tomorrow!).

Lorri - diet is going, well, slow but sure - only about 2.5 kgs of so far (which is better than nothing at all, I suppose).  Has taken a bit of a nose-dive today due to essay writing (unfortunately got a present of some nice Swiss truffles and felt in need of some comfort eating while chained to the pc trying to get my assignment done today when even housework seemed more tempting as an activity!).  However, I will be good again tomorrow.  How are you getting on - have you got all your blood tests etc organised for starting tx?  My cat used to like keeping me company at the keyboard too but she now prefers dosing on the couch by herself.  She hasn't been too well (was diagnosed with diabetes last summer and it is taking a while to get her insulin dose sorted out) so I can't really blame her for putting comfort first!

Hope everyone else is doing OK.  

PS: Here's another donor-catching dance for you, Cesca.         

Ellie


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## suziegirl64

Yonny - Wow! That was unexpected! Was it your baseline scan before IVF/ICSI? If it works you could have saved yourself a few grand! Welcome to the 2WW  

Druzy - Thanks for the encouraging words  I am so lucky having my sister donate her eggs to me. I feel truly blessed regardless of the outcome. Such an amazing thing to do for someone. Wish I was younger and I'd do it in a flash for someone else. Do you have any younger friends who've already had their family who'd consider donating? It could be a hard thing to broach with someone but you never know. Wish there was a smiley for "UP THE DUFF"!!   Let's hope it's us soon 

Donna - Oh I love Barbra! I'm a bit worried that I'm a gay man actually because I also love listening to early Liza Minnelli and adore musicals!!    The weather brightened up here this afternoon following a grey morning. Went down the seafront with dp, my sis and her son. The BBC did some filming with us down there. My nephew who's only 2 was really excited about going on the horses on the carousel but as soon as he got on he started crying his little heart out wanting to get off! Ah bless! I don't blame him. I was terrified of those horses when I was little   I'm so please you feel a bit better today hun x

Ellie - mmmmm! Truffles! Did you manage to get your assignment finished? I personally have always found that a spot of loo cleaning, curtain washing, knicker ironing or cobweb hunting is definitely preferable over essay writing!!

Lorri - Hope you're ok. Thanks for asking after me    Give Oscar a tickle behind the ears for me! 

Sukey - lastly but definitely not leastly WELCOME!! You are most certainly on the right thread! I wish you loads of love and luck for a successful outcome to your treatment.  

I can't believe I'm on day 9 of 2ww already. It's gone fairly quickly considering. So far anyway! Not sure what to think. Probably best not to think too much really but it's hard not to! I have lots of sharp pains and twinges and AF-like aches in tum and back. Arrggghhh!!    Oh well, nothing I can do. Just have to wait don't I? So glad I have my break with my best friend to look forward to from Wed-Sat. I booked the break ages ago for my birthday not realising it would coincide with test date. Such a shame I'll be away but Robert is ok about me doing it without him. 

Please forgive me if I've missed anyone.  

Hope everyone is ok
Love Suzie xx


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## druzy

Hello Goldies

Just thought I'd share this with you.  Just had a bit of a poke around in the "chuff" area (for want of a better expression  and sorry if TMI) and reckon there's some pinky browny discharge (very slight).  SO - if things are as they were with the two failed IUI AF will arrive Tuesday before test day which is Thursday 6 April.  But ANYWAY I know it's not over until it's over but honestly I have never felt thinner, fitter and more lively - stomach concave, pregnyl totally worn off and (.)(.) now totally back to normal and no side effects from cycolgest at all.  Spots from all those hormone injections are going away now (they were pretty unattractive).  I feel my body is fighting to return to the way it feels it has happily been for the last forty years, and is really confused   and possibly offended but what I am trying to do it.   

Thanks for your message Suzie, I do have some younger friends, two of 30 and 31.  I have in fact jokingly/seriously suggested that they might like to donate me an egg and...well....put it this way, I think it's the first time I've genuinely seen the whites of someone's eyes !  I work with one of them and she's just handed in her notice, could this be why (only joking)   

I agree an up the duff smiley would be good.

Hope everyone else is doing OK.


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## suziegirl64

Druzy

Oh no. try not to get too downheartened hun.  Give it time - people experience all sorts and nothing on the 2WW and still end up pg. I usually come on 2 days before test date too - it's so hard not to think about failure isn't it? We need more      

Try not to poke about too much in the "chuff" area. Sorry I'm trying to write a perfectly serious post to you but I am honestly still pi**ing myself laughing from that phrase.    

Sorry I know you're in distress and I'm being inappropriate but that was very funny.  

With regard to your younger friends' - at least you know where you stand on that one!  

Try and get some sleep. And stop knicker and chuff checking if you can help it.

Love Suzie xx


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## nuala

Hi Girls,

To all of you on your 2ww - sending you    .

I am shaking as I write this inspiring story which is actually mine (I remember reading others alonjg this road).

After 2 failed IVF's we had our review in Jan 06 and the Lister confirmed our options at this age as DE or make your own miracle.  A week later I got my very first BFP which sadly didn't stick. 

We are seriously considering a shot at DE but agreed after the BFP in Jan to give it 3 months.  Well, 2 months later I got another faint BFP at 11 dpo.  This continued to get stronger and come up quicker each day until I tested this morning with a clearblue digital at 16dpo and it came up in 30 secs with PREGNANT   

Now I need loads of sticky vibes as we are told at our age (I am am 45 years and 4 months old), this is my FIRST EVER PREGNANCY BUT I have defied the odds to get pregnant and so hope with lots of support from you gals we can have one STICKY BEAN   

Please everyone do not loose hope.  Here is what I did to help my body:

Accupuncture - once or twice a month once my body was balance (been doing it for 6 months)
Chinese Herbs:  Disgusting - taking them 4 months.  My accupuncturist said they take 3 - 6 months to work and she was right!! 
Yoga - 2 - 3 times a week
Pilates - once a week
Used PreSeed when BD around O time
Cut out caffiene except 2 on weekends as a Latte!!

Keeping fingers, toes and legs crossed for now - only on our way to the 'airport' so to speak!!

Wishing all you Over 40's a big BFP    and thank you for being there along my journey.

Nuala


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## suziegirl64

Nuala!

CONGRATULATIONS on YOUR 

That is an inspiring story indeed. Sending you loads of sticky stuff for a healthy and happy preganancy. I'm so happy for you!

            

Love Suzie xx


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## druzy

and STICKY VIBES to you Nuala

(where does that little sticky vibe icon come from?)

I read you on the other thread too but sending you another round of vibes here too.  Your story is, as has been said before, truly inspirational.  GOOD LUCK


Suzy,  thanks for your kind words, glad the "chuff" made you   - it does me too, got it off a friend of mine's mother years ago.  I thnk I like this bit less than last week but must stop banging on.  I think it's DE, Barcelona clinic  and the pitter patter of tiny castanets for me.....(don't mean to offend anyone just trying to be light hearted)

Druzy xx


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## suziegirl64

Hi Druzy

I had a bit of a  browny colour show this morning. It's been alright since but it's made me a bit nervous especially with the AF pain I've been getting. 

Instead of moping about, I said to my partner "I've been poking about in the chuff area but thankfully no more bleeding" We both laughed a lot. Have used the word "chuff" several times today, each time it's made us laugh. It's so funny if your partner tells you what he's going to do to you in the bedroom and uses the word "chuff" instead of something else!!!     
Whenever someone tells me they're chuffed about something in future, think it'll crease me up.

Thanks for your humour Druzy  We all need a bit of light relief I reckon.

Love Suzie xx

P.S. The sticky vibes smiley is from a set of smileys for charter members only.


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## belladonna

hey Nuala,

How fantastic!!!  congratulations hunni, sending you loads of sticky vibes.  thinking of you.                   


donna xxxx

hey ladies,
i went for my scan today to check to see if there was any 'products of conception' left inside me! apparently just  a little fluid left but they are querying 3/4 fibroids as they reacon my lining is very uneven and could be 'adenomyosis', has anyone heard of it, or had it? and what do you reacon about implantiaton in the future?  oh gosh this is all i need, worrying about a dodgy womb lining, its bad enough worrying about whether the embies will stick, without lumps and bumps all over the show, i would be having a good poke around in the 'chuff' area if i could see what they were talking about  

donna x x x


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## sukey

Nuala -  WOW, thats fantastic news, what an inspiration.  Congratulations!!!You've given me such hope as a fellow 45 year old.    (Not that I can fall pregnant naturally as my partner had a vasectomy too many years ago for it to be successfully reversed).  I've been given odds of 1 to 2% because of my age and am really thinking of donor egg now but perhaps I should give IVF a couple more goes with my own eggs......

I'm being treated at Bristol, Meerkat.  Is anyone else there?

Best of luck to Suzie and Druzy for the last few days of your 2 week wait.  I know all too well the knicker watch obsession and will be at it myself next week!  Hope you're both feeling ok

Sukey
4th IVF, ET 31 March 06


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## druzy

Good night ladies

Hope your chuffs behave themselves over night, mines still playing up a bit I must say, another person on another thread also testing 6th April is having browny discharge too so ...... 

Sorry I haven't come across Adenomyosis Donna, have you tried typing it into google?  Although it may be better to get another appt or telephone cons with your Dr and really try and pin him down about what it's all about.  Maybe if you type it on this website as a separate question someone will have experience of it.

Oh, it's a rocky old road isn't it. 

lots of love

Druzy xx


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## suziegirl64

Hi all!

Quick update. AF pain has subsided now which is encouraging. Had slight browny discharge yesterday but nothing since. Slightly tender boobs and mild nausea today. 

Too tired for personals tonight ladies but love to all and I'll try to catch up properly tomorrow.

Love Suzie xx


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## druzy

Hello everyone

Think I'm out of the game this month, pretty sure I have proper AF with mild AF-ie type pains to match.  Enough now to use a tampax but can't check too often as that makes it seem lighter than it is - if you see what I mean (TMI but there's no point "beating about the bush" is there - if you'll excuse the expression!).

Will still test Thursday however as told to by clinic and for the little old 1% of hope that this may be one of those freak incidents still leading to a BFP!!.  Aless on "2ww anyone got no symptoms at all" thread is recommending a "circle of reiki" on Weds night at 11pm for all those testing on Thursday 6th if anyone would like to join!  

Best of luck everyone and if you can bear it let me know your outcomes as if your pos and I'm neg it will give me encouragement for the future and hopfully vice versa.

TTFN

Druzy xx


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## cesca

Nuala ...FANTASTIC NEWS


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## suziegirl64

Hi everyone

Druzy - so sorry you've started bleeding. I don't want to give you false hope but you should wait until you test before believing it's all over for sure  Keep taking the meds and it might be best not to use tampax just in case. Oh love, you must feel awful today. I'm truly sorry xxx

I'm going to pack for my spa break with best friend then have a bath. I'm off at 8am tomorrow but will test before I go and do a quick update. I won't be back til Saturday so I'll catch up with everyone then. 

I KNOW tomorrow is NOT my test date but I really want to know if I can before I go. I want to be with Robert and it's my birthday so if it IS bfp, well it'll be quite a present won't it?! If it's bfn then I have my few days of pampering to look forward to. 

Love to all
Night night

Suzie xxxx


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## dianne

Suzie 

All the best for testing tomorrow and so hope it is a happy birthday      

Di x


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## ck6

good luck for testing suzie ...and a very happy birthday ...been following you !  lots .of love caroline xxxxxxxxxxx


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## suziegirl64

Morning Ladies

Well, I tested this morning and got a   Can't stop as I'm in a terrible hurry but Just to say I'm cautiously delighted. Just hope this is a sticky one. 

Good luck to everyone while I'm away. Will catch up on Saturday.

Love Suzie xxx


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## nikkiank

Suzy  

That is fantastic news.....      

Congratulations!  

Sending lots of sticky vibes!  
love Nikki xx
ps..... have a very happy birthday!


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## cesca

Suzie  what a fantastic birthday present!!  I can understand you being cautious though.. good luck girl.


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## druzy

Brilliant suzy   that's fantastic.  Hope for us all yet!  Lots of Sticky Vibes that this is THE ONE!


lots and lots of love

Druzy xx


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## *Kim*

Suzie

Wow what a birthday pressie.   & a Big CONGRATULATIONS on your 

Love kImx x  x


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## ♥Meerkat♥

Well done Suzie  
What a perfect birthday present

Sending you sticky vibes 




Meerkat x


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## belladonna

Suzie, fantastic news! brillient. sending you loads of sticky vibes.     

  what a wonderful pressie!     

love to everyone,

donna x x x x


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## Lorri

Suzie - Congratulations !!  I am so pleased for you

Happy Birthday too

Have a fab weekend

Lx


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## nuala

Suzie, Many many congratulations on the most special birthday present of all  .

Take it easy and remember I'm here worrying too about our little beans sticking so here's lots of sticky vibes for you               

Nuala


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## cesca

Hi Goldie's well good news all round ...  We have heard from Spain about a possible donor and we have agreed to go ahead.    i am very nervous but DH is over the moon and can't wait. It will probably not be until the end of May which is a little disappointing as I just want to get on with it however nervous I am!!
  speak soon  cescaxxx


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## nikkiank

Cesca......

That is wonderful news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        

love Nikki xxx


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## Lorri

Cesca
At last !!!!!    

May will be here before you know it. It gives you a chance to get ready physically and mentally.


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## suziegirl64

Hello Ladies!

I'm just back after a 5 hour drive from Stockport but I couldn't go to bed without popping in first! It's like having my hand amputated being without FF for 3 days (Am I a sad loser or what?!)

I want to say thank you for all the lovely messages of congratulations and birthday wishes I've received while I was away  What would I do without you all?  

I'm toooooooo tired for personals but just to say....

CONGRATULATIONS to Cesca - you have a lovely donor!! It's wonderful! So happy for you that things are moving on!  I know I already posted this on the Donor Egg thread but what the heck!!
     

The spa was lovely but sadly, erm... I mean thankfully, I couldn't use most of the facilities because they're out of bounds if you're pg. (So weird saying that!) I had a facial and a lovely scalp massage and swam alot! I had to fill out a form for the beauty therapist about any medical conditions etc. It was very surreal having to say I am pg and couldn't have essential oils etc. Also watching what I ate - it's amazing how many things are on a dinner menu that are out of bounds! Not that I'm complaining! We had 2 nights there and then went to see my friend's mum in Stockport. Decided to drive back instead of staying over. I'm completely knackered now but happy to be home!

I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about my bfp. Last time, I had af pains and spotting but this time I feel quite normal and nothing untoward going on. Even though it doesn't necessarily mean it's all ok, it is a bit more reassuring. I contacted my local EPAU and they are going to check my HCG levels next week for me. They were really kind when I had my mc last year and told me I can come back for reassurance whenever I want if I have another pg. I will have a scan in 3 weeks time at Guys, need to book it on Monday.

My dad's wedding is on Sunday so I'll have a busy weekend but I'll check in to see how you all are doing.

Night night!!

Love Suzie xx

PS sorry that the "me" bit is copied and pasted in other threads I'm on!! I'm far to tired and lazy to write it all again!


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## nuala

Cesca - what great news - a lovely donor.  May will indeed be here in a blink and as said before it gives you time to get your bod prepared.

Yipppeee!!!     

Nualaxx


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## *Kim*

New home this way

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,54057.new.html#new


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