# Trying Again part 2



## wibble-wobble

A new thread for you ladies as the other one is getting a bit long 

Happy chatting


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## KLconfused

Hi all, it's gone very quiet. How Is everyone? 
Trin  you must be getting near ec now?

Carter how's life with the twins?

Afm we've decided to go donor this time.  I was keen to use hubble sperm but he isn't.  He wants this journey over and it gives us a better chance and he isn't concerned.  We've found a donor and the sperm should arrive Monday.  My immune tests were all clear so I'm expecting to start again around 22nd July.  When the last cycle ended it felt so long until we could try again but it's come round fast.

Dolphin any news on your son?

Keep in touch xx


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## Sasha1973

Klconfused that's excellent news that you've made a decision that's right for you both and you're starting really soon, you sound so much more positive. Fingers crossed this is your time 

Trin I hope stimms are going well, when is your ec estimated for? 

Carter how is life with your new additions? 

 To everyone else I hope you're all well and we'll have more good news soon xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Back with a bump to the colder weather here, here's hoping I can get some more sun before the summer is over!! 
Kl, glad you both made a decision you feel is right. Fingers crossed, it looks like it's going to be very busy on here soon!! 
Trin, sorry to hear the care hasn't bren good for you- it just makes an awful situation worse. I hope all is going well for you currently. 
Hi to everyone. 
We're just waiting currently to finish pill, we are short protocol. So will get on and organise drug delivery this week. Have to tell manager soon- boy that'll be fun. As long as the in charge (below my manager though) who said " I can't tell you not to do it then but...." Doesn't say anything to me, all is good!!


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## Trin Trin

Hi everyone ( I sent this last week but then a new thread was created!!)

Carter lovely to hear from you and thank you for checking up on us to see how we're doing. Hope the girls are doing well. You must feel so content now.

Crazy - Congratulations with the marriage conversion!! So pleased for you both how lovely. Are you getting ready to start again. Can't remember if you do the long or short protocol?

Sasha - Fan news re the sickness so glad it's starting to ease off and you can now enjoy your pregnancy. I really hope you've started a trend as kl is right, all pregnancies on here since Carter sadly did not progress as far as 12 weeks. Here's hoping....look forward to know what you're having.

Caro - hope all is well my love. Do you know when you'll be starting again?

Dolphins - hope you're little one is doing okay....

Kl - How's it going? Did you make a decision regarding using the donor or choosing one? It's hard to decide and I'm sure you'll both make the decision which feels right for you both. Sorry to hear meeting with your donor was not a success. Well I hope you'll be underway as planned in a couple of weeks. I know how you're feeling when you say you're being and feeling negative. I totally feel drained and really fed up and frustrated with all of this now. I think about my miscarriage lots especially as my managers baby is due 9 days before I'd be due. It just hurts and it's hard to deal with sometimes.

AFM - I'm just really fed up, which is why I haven't posted anything or been on here. So much has gone on and it's too long for all the detail. Short version is I've made a formal complaint against the Nhs regarding how my miscarriage was handled. They promised to do karyotyping, told me all was ok but when I asked for a letter to confirm it was quite clear they hadn't done it!! They apologised in writing then referred me to the miscarriage specialist who would perform a test on me. Went to the appointment and I was scheduled to see a MIDWIFE!! I went crazy and demanded to see Consultant......only to be told the content of apology was incorrect and they cannot perform an adequate test without the karyotyping being done on baby!! I could have done this privately and paid - NHS always lets me down!

Anyway, I've down regged now and started the stims on Tuesday. This cycle will be with intralipid a week before collection, if I get pregnant another intralipid and another just before 12 weeks. then I'll be on clexane, steroids and the usual asprin and pessaries which if pregnant continues also until 12 weeks. I've felt really down could be the meds and can't help thinking what could have been. Last cycle was such a roller coaster I'm scared if this works will it last, if it doesn't work then what? I just want to have a bit of luck..feel I've had a fair share of heartbreak. Sorry to be so depressing. EC is estimated for 22nd depending on how these follies behave. 

Just trying my best to think positively....we'll see. I'll keep you all updated xx
Report to moderator    ip 109.156.114.6


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## Trin Trin

Hey ladies

Just caught up in the new thread properly. 

Yes it's going to be busy on here again soon!! Crazy, Kl and I 🙏

I always have the long protocol so this is only day 6 of stimming. Had first scan today and nothing much to report. A few follies over 10mm my dose has been increased and a change from gonal f to menopur (I think) from tomorrow back again on Friday. Should have a IV with intralipid this week too,..not sure what to expect😕

EC is estimated for 22 July...still feeling a bit down but hoping it's the mess making me a bit moody:-(

Hoping our forthcoming cycles are positive for us all 🙏 x


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## caro8500

Hi Everyone

Started a reply to everyone then lost it doh!

Glad to see some of you having another go...I have just received copy of all my notes tonight and reading this thread has spurred me on to do my online self referral for Care Manchester. I really needed a kick up the back side as time is ticking on and I don't want to look back wishing I hadn't left it so long. I can't see cycle starting till after September though as DS starts school and want to be there for drops offs and pick ups in the early days. He's just had his first settling in session today and its gone really well which I'm so pleased about.He's growing up fast though and its making me a bit sad to be honest  

Trin...Never much happening at the first scan, hopefully there will be more to see on Friday. Sorry to hear what a rough time you've had. You do right to make a formal complaint. I don't understand how they can mess up something so important. 

KL...Glad you're ready to cycle again and that you've made the Donor decision....hope it wasn't too difficult for you. Onwards and Upwards for you now

Crazy...we've just come back from Spain and it was stupidly hot so know what you mean about the weather! Hope it goes ok telling your manager (I'm dreading dealing with all the work side of things!) 

Sasha..so please things are going well. 12 weeks already...time flies!

Carter ..hope life is good (if hectic!) and those twinies of yours are doing well

Hope all ok with you Dolphins

Hi to anyone else I've missed

x


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## Boggler

Hi Guys

Anybody else going for number 3 and due to cycle soon ? Looking for some cycle buddies?

Thanks
Boggler


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## wibble-wobble

Have you had a look in the cycle buddies section? I think you'd be more likely to get more responses there


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## Boggler

Hi Wibble Wobble

It feels odd in a general cycle buddy section  when you already have two kidS . Hard to explain really - you are going through the same stuff physically but emotionally it's a different matter - well for me anyway

Just thought I'd chance posting it here. 

Thanks
Boggler


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## wibble-wobble

There's a trying again part 2 thread in this section that is just starting to get busy, that may be more suitable than cycle buddies on their first go.

I just came across your diary, hope you get the chance to do your 10k  

Good luck with your cycle


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## Boggler

Cheers me dear! I should stay away from writing diaries when pre menstruel - to much ranting!!!


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## rooneyb

Hi Boggler, 
We are thinking of trying for no3 at the end of the year!


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## Shamrock.

Hi Boggler I'm doing a FET next week to try for number 3   Starting to get very excited about it but trying to keep level headed. Are you doing FET or a fresh cycle?


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## Boggler

Hi Guys 

Thanks for getting back !! I am doing a fresh cycle. . We have had 3 Fet and 1 Fresh cycle on a quest for number 3. I have had six months off getting myself back to tip top baby making form as in my iron levels and adrenal hormones were floored after mc at the end of last year. I have been taking Dhea and cQ10 and all my bloods are now back to normal. I should be due to transfer around the 28th of August  . This will be the final try for us - 6 years of fertility treatment wears you down !!! 

Shamrock - when is your transfer scheduled ? Are you back in Serum or are u floating around the emerald Isle ? I am with Sims in Dublin! 

Rooney B - hopefully I will be finished with m journey by the end of the year but I never say never I suppose!!! For me trying for number 3 is not as all consuming as number 2 so it's easier to fit into your life!

Later 
Boggler


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## KLconfused

Hi all

Sorry I did miss the last few posts on the old thread but have caught up now.

Trin - its understandable to feel down. If your anything like me the excitement of hoping for a BFP has gone a little bit because of the nightmare that can come after. You had such a horrendous time last time I can understand you don't want to do that again. I desperately want another BFP but I also don't want another ERPC so im scared of it a little too. Having said that ill be gutted if I don't get one!

I have stopped worrying about what next. I think in my mind im going to do another cycle after this one. Ive told hubbie I wont stop until we get a baby and I will go DE if I need to. I hate life being on hold all the time for IVF. Its been 18 months since I started trying for number 2 and its a long time, and Trin you've tried longer and its hard when everyone seems to have overtaken us. Ive chatted to a few women thinking of using DE and asking when do people make the decision to move over if the doctors are not telling you you have to. Ive met a couple of women having this dilemma and having their last shot with OE and they are pregnant with twins now. Maybe I should say this is my last go and then it will work! 

Welldone caro on getting started. Definitely time is of the essence I think. 

Choosing a donor was hard and I shed lots of tears but im really happy with the one I have now so that's good. 

Trin - don't worry about intralipids. Its honestly no big deal. You just have a drip for an hour so take a book or magazine and a drink and that's it. I had a headache for a few hours after the first I think and maybe some light cold symptoms but no symptoms after the rest of my intralipid drips. Its nothing to worry about at all. 

Im just counting down to day 1. xx


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## Shamrock.

Hi Boggler I did my first ever cycle with Sims. They are good. I'm back to Serum this time coz my frozen embryos are there. My FET is this day next week ...the 22nd. 
Sorry to read about all you have been through in the quest for number 3. Please God you will get the result you deserve this time now that your hormone levels are sorted out. 
What age are your two? Mine are close in age and still very young so I am probably bonkers trying again


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## Boggler

Hiya,

My guys are nearly 7 and nearly 3! Funny we had planned stepping stones , u think we would have learned our lesson when it didn't work out the first time!! (As in don't make plans!)

I thing having babies close together is super ! Maybe tough for a while but so worth it when they can play together so jealous of my friends who never have to worry about how to keep the little guys occupies because they always have a buddy! . Also makes work decisions etc easier when they are of an age! 

My consultant is like why are you so concerned u only had two goes it's normal to have only one success !! I am like those two goes were 7 transfers !!  hes all about the stats . Empathy not a strong point! 

Next week that's great - this waiting kills me!  I have an Fet success story walking around and causing trouble so I know they can be successful ! 

Hope all goes well for you - u will be busy!!!!


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## Carter4

Hi guys

Flying visit, will be back I promise, just wanted to send massive hugs to Trin. I'm so sorry the nhs let you down at an already dreadful time. I hope you get a timely reply and a heartfelt acknowledgement of the added distress caused xx


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## rooneyb

Shamrock, your LOs seem close in age. Mine are 17months apart,which is tiring work when your in your 40s! My youngest is 15m. We are expats too, so have no family help, but I am very lucky to have a full time nanny....hence that is why I am thinking of no3!! 
Good luck to both of you for the next few weeks


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## Shamrock.

Boggler now that you have started your cycle hopefully it will fly by for you. I think whatever age gap you have between kids there are challenges and advantages. I have just less than 13 mths between my two and I found it difficult in the beginning esp the first 6 mths but now I do love having the two of them close in age although they don't play together yet  

Rooneyb Good luck to you too   Lucky you having a full time nanny. I'm jealous   I work 4 days per week and the days I'm working I have a brilliant nanny coming into my house to mind my two. I think if she wasn't so good and supportive of me trying again that it would seem a lot more challenging. She can't wait to help me mind a newborn when the time hopefully comes.


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## Penelope Pitstop

Hi, it's quiet on here at the moment just wondered how everyone was doing? X


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## Trin Trin

Evening ladies

Carter - Thanks for your kind words. I've decided to focus on my cycle and then deal with the NHS after. Realised I couldn't deal with both and have to put all my energy where it's needed most. How's your lovely girls doing? Is having two and a toddler hard work or are you finding it okay. Glad you're hanging around.....really means a lot.

Penelope - How's your boys doing? Lovely of you too sticking around checking up on us all. Really appreciated x

Kl - Are you still on track for starting on 22nd? I know how hard making the choice with donor or not was for you. It's a big decision I know. I have everything I can possibly cross for you this cycle🙏🙏🙏 Please let us know how it all goes.

Crazy - you must be starting soon too. Have you got any dates yet!

Sasha - have you had your scan yet? If so I hope all went well.

Caro - how are you?

Afm my egg collection is on Thursday. I had my first intralipid last Thursday and as Kl advised it wasn't that bad at all. What I'm not looking forward to is the clexane injections I've heard they sting!! I just hope I have a decent number of follies which mature and fertilise. Can't think any further but I am thinking about do I do a day 2 or 3 transfer if all is well..

I'll update again soon x


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## Crazy_frog

Glad you didn't find lipids too bad Trin. Fingers crossed for ec. Sounds like your focused on your treatment and putting the rest to one side for now. Will be thinking of you.  
As for us, nope not starting for while. They've decided to keep pill going til end of month.... Gonna be nightmare bleed, if don't have breakthrough first! Then wait to start period. I know it's only 10 days left but it feels forever!!
Hope everyone else is ok, sorry for short one- just finished nights!


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## KLconfused

Hi all
Glad the intralipids were OK trin.  Your nearly at the exciting bit now so that's good and you have done everything you possibly can to make this work. I'm sorry to say clexane is awful. Sorry! Well I think my problem is that I do them myself and they are in the bum so logistically it's difficult. But it's the feel of them makes me go faint. Bearing in mind I was needle phobic when all this started it's pretty amazing I can do it and you'll see why when you see the size of the needle. On a positive note I will say they dont have to hurt at all. Get an ice pack like you use for a picnic and put it on the area for at least 10 mins  before the injection and it numbs it. I think I'll have to be brave this time and get hubby to do it but I'm more nervous about that than doing it myself. 

Hi to everyone else. 

Carter how are the twins.  Would be lovely to hear.  

Afm I got af yesterday.  Been to argc today for bloods and all fine. Back tomorrow for blood and scan then they tell me if I can start drugs. I'm sorry to offload on here but I'm having a real wobble today. I burst into tears coming out of the argc today. I feel tired and agitated. I'm going to have to limp through this treatment I think but I haven't got another argc round in me after this as it's so intense and expensive. Also my immune were OK last test so I could go somewhere less intense but then I want their success rates. I just don't want to do this anymore. But i ican never accept not having another child. I had stayed calm as I thought I'd use double donor if this failed but I've wobbled about that too and now I'm even thinking again about hubbies sperm. You hear stories all the time where someone made a last attempt and it worked but along with this misery I just feel hopeless for this cycle. My diets been terrible since the last miscarriage and I just can't seem to improve it.  Having family staying all the time to look after daughter is stressful as well. I just can't see the point in carrying on but I can't stop. Sorry I'm on such a downer when you guys are being so upbeat all the time. I know it's 0nly 3  weeks and I'll be hopefully in 2ww and it's nearly over but that crash with a bfn terrifies me too. I'm just very emotional today.


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## Crazy_frog

Oh kl, I'm sorry you're having a wobble. I'm definitely not upbeat all the time ( sorry if I seem a crazy happy one). It's completely understandable that your scared, anxious and everything else. You are strong as anything to be going through this, give yourself credit for that. But everyone has days when it's overwhelming. Each step as it comes I guess. We're all rooting each other on in this crazy roller coaster, but we're all here for you to vent if you need it. Thinking of you and hope you can have nice bath and chill out later. X


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## Trin Trin

Crazy is right Kl, we all have our off days, weeks or even months. As you know I've been down for a while and put my fake face on pretending I'm okay but deep down I'm hurting. You're not alone and it's totally normal to feel fed up. Try not to be so hard on yourself!!

Well tonight I had to take my trigger shot at 930 - 36 hours before EC...well the trigger was a different one and what do I do.....?? Spill it all over my bed!!! I was pretty calm considering, called the emergency number and spoke to the on call nurse. Luckily she had some and lives in Cambridge I met her half way in Hertford and had to inject in the car in a petrol station car park! I can't rate my clinic enough, they're so good. I ended up taking at 1020....50 minutes late. She's going to call me in the morning after speaking to my consultant to see if I need to have EC an hour later or not. She thinks it will be okay at 930am but wants to be sure.

The dramas of our fertility roller coaster!!
Night x


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## Crazy_frog

Oh Trin, what a nightmare. Your nurse sounds very lovely and I bet you're relieved it was sorted. Hope you've had news about time of your ec tomorrow. Fingers crossed for you, will be thinking of you


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## Trin Trin

Hi All

Kl I sent you a PM.

I've had the worst 2 days ever. Egg collection was yesterday and the clinic called to tell me the anaesthetist was running late, could I come in an hour late at 1030. Got there and he still has not arrived. They got me ready and did all the checks etc still not arrived. It approached midday and they said they're losing time at the eggs need to come out due to the time I took my trigger. Explained this can be done while awake. I burst into tears as I've just had enough of all of this bad luck and the whole journey of infertility.

Clearly I couldn't say no as it would have been a wasted cycle. Well I don't want to endure that again as it was quite painful I must admit.

After they told me they had only collected 7 eggs which I thought was wrong as the scans we're showing double that figure. Then thought did they lose some due to the time etc.

Anyway it gets worse. My call this morning - only one has fertilised!! I'm so disappointed and distraught keep crying my eyes out. I know it only takes one but the embryologist said to be mindful that it may not survive over night......need to prepare myself for that and to be ready for 915 for 2day transfer. Think I need to accept that I don'took anywhere near 40 on the outside but inside my eggs are clearly the problem. I'm heartbroken that I've gone through all of this. I hope I don't sound ungrateful for having one but I'm just down. It's dh birthday tomorrow too. Great day that's going to be 

Sorry for no personals x


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## Carter4

Oh god Trin, what an absolute nightmare. I'm not sure I even know what to say. Your nerves must be shattered. You've just got to get that little embie on board. On my second cycle following DD, we only had one fertilise and I had to endure the agonising wait of a 3dt, because the timing of my cycle hit the weekend, and my clinic didn't do transfers on a Sunday. The point I am trying to make is that although it was a bfn, once I was in the 2ww, I had some hope again, and that is where you need to be. As for your clinic, their handling of your situation is shocking, but to give this cycle your full attention, they will have to wait, but definitely pursue a complaint at some stage. Hugs my lovely, hang in there with all your might xx


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## Penelope Pitstop

Oh trin, the whole thing from trigger to your phone call this morning sounds traumatic but as we know it does only take one. I can totally understand why you would be feeling down and quite negative about things, I think we would all be the same, infertility is such a roller coaster. I have everything crossed that your little embie hangs on in there tonight ready to be back safe and warm in you tomorrow where it belongs. Sending you lots of hugs.xxx


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## Penelope Pitstop

P.s I'm with Carter, focus on your cycle for now but I would definitely complain about the service from your clinic during ec xx


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## Crazy_frog

Oh Trin, I'm so sorry to hear about the nightmare you've had. I hope your little embie is now safely on board and please try to be positive (I know that may be really hard). Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. 
As others have said, when the time is right then perhaps meet with the clinic and discuss all the issues.


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## Trin Trin

Thanks Carter, Pene, Crazy and Kl for PM. 

I had the transfer today but this was my first experience of producing an embryo which wasn't top quality, 2 cell and fragmented. I cried throughout the transfer as I feel such a failure. I work so hard to enable me to strive for the things I would like and this is one thing no matter how hard I work and try to achieve its just not happening. Treatment has really changed me and not for the better, failure after failure is just eating me up. I'm so sorry to be depressing and I know it only takes one and women have had success with an embryo like mine.....but I feel defeated already. Thinking what next DE? give up? Try to move on and put this terrible experience behind me?

I'm not even angry with the clinic as they did their best under the circumstances. They perhaps should consider having a back up anaesthetist to prevent what happened on Thursday. 

Kl - the clexane wasn't bad at all. I say there with the syringe in my hand for 10 mins psyching myself up but it was okay. 

OTD is 6 Aug.....


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## Sasha1973

Trin I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through, I'm sure I would feel exactly as you have. I agree with the others that you need to be positive for the rest of this cycle (I know that's not easy) but especially now you have your little embie on board, it's the best place for it. I know it may not be much of a consolation and I e said it before but sometimes those fragmented little emboss are the fighters, my singleton and the two I'm carrying have all come from 'poor quality' embryos, these ones were graded 3 (1 being perfect and 4 behind awful) so miracles can really happen and my little boy was a 2 day transfer, I really hope this helps. Sending you massive hugs xxx


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## Penelope Pitstop

Trin trin, fab news that you have your little embie back on board. I'm
Hoping and praying that it snuggles down now for the next 9 months. I can totally understand your feelings of despondency but don't give up all hope, as sasha has said and is evidence of, those poor quality embryos can and do survive and yours in in the right place. Will be thinking of you over the next few weeks. 

Quick hi to everyone else. Xx


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## caro8500

Hi. Sorry been AWOL...life just been very busy

Trin, so sorry for what a rubbish time you've had. Horrible that you had to go through that and always a real shock when don't get as many embryos as you had hoped for. It can and does happen with one and I'm hoping so badly that is does for you. Try not to think too far ahead yet and concentrate on getting through the next few weeks (easier said than done I know) Big hugs xx


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## Trin Trin

Thank you so much Sasha, Pene and Caro. Time will tell....but I'm just going to try and keep busy for the next 10 days!! Xx


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## KLconfused

Hi trin  hope the next 10 days go as fast as possible.  I've had lots of top grade embryos and only 1 baby from 8 of them so I'm not sure the grading means anything. I had worse quality embryos last time and am wandering if it's different meds or clinic and now I'm concerned I'm just old and my eggs are deteriorating. I'm completely with you with your worries as I'm in the same place. I want to say well done for doing the awake procedure. Your one tough cookie! Hopefully this will be the last ec you ever need. 

Afm I'm doing treatment. Spent the first few days in tears. Had a cyst that had to be removed. I'm on day 5 of injections.  Last time I worried I was on too low a dose of meds and now I'm worried I'm on too high a dose. I'm keeping a note of all the times when I feel really terrible so I can remind myself and never do this again.  No idea when ec yet if we get there. Just told by doc I only have  4 follicles when I usually have 12. He says it's OK as early days. I can't shake the feeling that I'm wasting my time and this isn't going to work anyway. 

Told my private donor I'm having tests as we've tried nearly a year since miscarriage and I'm worried and so he told me he's had a few problems with the donation and also we've hardly met on the right days so he says he will be more available if I want to try again. Lovely bloke but just all seems so pointless. I haven't told him about ivf. Just like trin  it seems the harder i work at this the worse it goes! 

Still its only another week maybe to ec then another few days to know if I have any embryos so not long. Daughter gets very upset when I leave at 5.30am. Breaks my heart. Got to plod on I think. 

Hi to every one xx


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## Crazy_frog

I'm so glad your embie is back with you Trin. Fingers crossed for a peaceful wait. I'm not convinced grading is the answer to cycles working or not, but I know we can feel it holds "the answer". That embie must be as strong and fighting as hard as you. Will continue to think of you, x
Il, hope you're doing ok so far, good luck with your cycle too. Try to take each day as it comes and not over think too much at this stage. I know it's easier said than done, I know I get obsessional about dosages and scans, without the repeat bloods you get, so I can only imagine how much harder it is for you. Positive thoughts your way, x
Carter, hope all ok with you and your lovely family. 
Sasha, hope you're feeing ok and everything going well for you. 
Hey to everyone else. 
Afm, drugs delivered today, mistake already spotted and waiting on nurses to call and resolve..... On final week and getting anxious, excited and so on.....


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## Trin Trin

Thanks Crazy!!

Drugs delivered!! Shame about the mistake noted. Hope they'll rectify soon. I always find the injecting and stims the exciting part and looking forward to starting. Do you do the short protocol like Kl? I need to understand why the clinics choose which ones best. We're all be here for you when you begin.

Kl - I think we're definitely in s similar place. My stats in the last 4 years are making me now think my eggs are the problem. Each cycle the numberi of eggs collectied are less, the maturity is declining and the number fertilised. Miscarriage at 36 nearly 37 at 11 weeks doing iui, chemical at 39, miscarriage at 7 weeks at 39 and again at 40 at 10 weeks. Don't think I can consider cycling again with my own eggs. I called the clinic and I'm awaiting a call back from the egg donation coordinator. Want to know the cost and if there are any possible matches likely as I know this will be longer due I my ethnicity.

Luckily I haven't got any real teservations using a donor apart from the usual tinga like what would the child look like etc. my only sadnesses that I use donor soern too which feels a bit strange if that makes sense.

Fingers crossed for you during your stims and I really hope this is the cycle that compete your family 🙏

Carter - If you don't mind could you share the approximate amount your cycle cost? Trying to figure out what this is all going to cost me, as that would be my last final try. 

I know I should be positive but I just can't get myself there. Thinking positively or negatively isn't going to change my outcome. I've done both before and it hasn't given me a 2nd. Even if this cycle works in going to worried sick that history will repeat itself ending in a loss. I'm so sorry bring doom and gloom on here. I think you all understand but sorry if you don't. 

Have a great day all x


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## KLconfused

Trin, 
Definitely were on the same page and double donor is more scary than donor egg only I think. Im worried it would feel like giving birth to a stranger but I suppose at least id be giving birth and my husband has some very annoying traits he has already passed our daughter anyway!

Im interested to hear what you find out about embryo adoption or if you go the donor egg and donor sperm of your choice and combine the 2 option. I think embryo adoption is around £4000 but donor egg is around £16000 if you have all the donors eggs. Then you have to buy the sperm aswell. A friend of mine did donor egg with hubbies sperm and it was £16000 for all the embryos and they got 5. They have a son from embryo 2 and they are now in a 2ww with embryo 3 and this attempt with a FET has been £4000. I think these prices include intralipids. 

Looking at your stats I really think immunes could be your issue. Are you sure it wasn't the mess up with EC that caused the lack of eggs? It sounds like you had a lot of follicles? Also there are lots of people on here have had failed fertilisation 1 cycle then BFP baby the next. 

I have worried about egg numbers but when I think about it on my first ICSI I had 10 eggs and 7 were mature. I got my daughter from 7 mature eggs. Since then ive had 12 eggs and 9 mature and 11 eggs 9 mature and nothing from either cycle. So maybe less mature eggs is better as they are better quality. I cant see there can be anything that wrong with your eggs because you get pregnant and that's not changed over the years. But im not a Dr and I am soooo with you that this journey is horrendous and we need to get off this rollercoaster with a baby. Really hope we both get lucky this time round though but one way or another were both only getting off this thread if we have another baby no matter how we do it! Big hugs xx


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## Crazy_frog

Trin we do short because of lively ovaries- I have high follicle count at start. I've had ohss with small doses of gonal and they worry about it on long protocol. The aim is to get fewer eggs of better quality and for me it seems a better option, although if they're better quality I'm not so sure... I know our circumstances are different though.


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## KLconfused

Sorry trin I do sp because I was told the clinic don't like to do lp on older ladies. I was 38 at the time with a amh of 2. Amh is now 12  but they said if you shut down the ovaries during lp they might not come back again as I'm older. That was my old clinic but I assume it's the same logic why I'm on sp at the new clinic too. 

I am also like you in that I cope with looking forward and planning and action . I tried to discuss last night with hubbie if we will do donor sperm and eggs or embryo adoption and he said for gods sake were in the middle of this ivf let's do that first!


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## KLconfused

Sorry I'm bombarding this board at the moment. Just had scan. I only have 3-4 follicles on my right ovary and non on my left. Normally I have 6 on each. Doctor said not to compare to other cycles as then we would stop but whilst there are still follicles we carry on. She said it could be age or egg reserve but every cycle is different . It seems a radical reduction  in egg numbers. I don't think I can give up yet but going to look into embryo adoption as I wander if I can do it this cycle if I end up.with no embryos. Got to sit in London now for hours before they call and tell me what to do next. Sat in my car and just want to cry.


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## Trin Trin

Kl you poor thing:-( I know it's hard to think positively when you're comparing previous cycles. I have done the same so I can't sit here and be hypocritical saying to be positive. What I will say is try your best to. Quality is better than quantity, so let's hope the fewer follicles equates to better quality eggs inside them. I feel your pain I really do.....part of me feels to call this a day as its destroying my sanity and I feel like such a failure and why did I wait so long to embark on this journey again. Truth is I didn't want to as I was so in love with my daiughter and couldn't imagine sharing my love with another child....how silly!

I have to plan ahead and think of what's next or I'll go insane!! I've tried every other distraction, change the colour of my hair, new car, new house, look after myself but these are all temporary attempts of happiness which are short lived.

Spoke to clinic and they had a black egg donor on their books for ages and were matched last week!!! Who knows howling it would take for another to come along :-( the cost isn't too bad considering....£7-8k as I have to pay £1k for sperm. She also made a comment about my EC that perhaps I should discuss with consultant about getting  money off my next cycle due to what happened.....appreciated honesty but should she really have said that to me..?

Anyway try to remain in good spirits and take each day at a time. Maybe are  forward planning isn't helping...I dunno....

Crazy/Kl thanks for explaining the short protocol xx


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## KLconfused

thanks Trin, I feel strangley resigned to it all this afternoon. I cant go on like this. Its not healthy for me or my family. I suppose I wanted someone to be clear with me I needed DE and I suppose this is what I asked for. The clinic did say at the start of this cycle that if they didn't remove the cyst then I wouldn't respond to the drugs so maybe its cyst related. But having thought about it today I finally feel ive tried everything. Theres nothing left I can try with OE and when I look back in 10 years I wont think I was weak for giving up I don't think. I guess this is where I need to be to go for DE. I asked hubbie about next steps and he would prefer young altruistic egg donor matched with our sperm donor. That means finding the donor and all the large costs. Was the £7-£8k you quoted including eggs from a new donor or is that for embryos already frozen?? If its for a new donor can you pm me your clinic as I will try them as ARGC don't do DE. I feel so deposndent it will be months again to start again and I will give up with my private donor. Im not sure I have the stamina to start the DE process really as I know lots of people where the first few goes at DE fails too. But I cannot accept not having another child so it seems there's no choice. 

So sorry you lost out on that donor. Are you willing to try other clinics to see if they have a suitable donor? You should definitely get money off at your current clinic as the EC was horrendous and she was right to say I think. I think your actually being very good to the clinic about it. 

Im the same as you in that ive tried to paper over the desire for another child with other things - horses and dogs. But since I found out we needed IVF ive had 2 new horses and 3 new dogs and they have all been awful with them having medical problems and dying young mostly so they have added to the stress. It seems just trying to distract myself has bought more misery. I also look back and regret mostly everything now about how ive lived my life since 25 really. Im still so angry at my husband that he didn't want to do any IVF for 15 months after the sperm diagnosis. That 15 months may have made all the difference. 

Hi to everyone else. sorry ive high-jacked it with my despair. One day I promise to get off this thread!


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## Carter4

Hi Guys

Trin - How are you finding the clexane injections? There is a technique to them, once the needle is in, plunge really slowly, and definitely do not rub or itch afterwards, oh and on closer inspection one side of the needle is sharper than the others. 
My DE cycle was approximately £7000 all in. We did make the risky decision to receive eggs from a lady who was undergoing treatment herself. I say 'risky' because we knew potentially the numbers might be considerably lower, but we were so cheesed off with the amount we had spent already, we basically went for the cheaper option! To some extent our fears were proven when we only got six, of which five were mature, and only three fertilised. Scarily low numbers to work with. However as we all know a huge dollop of luck is involved in this lark, hence our outcome, and hence yours and KL's huge frustration. We just can't influence Lady Luck, but she does eventually roll around, just depends how long you can hang around waiting. I do believe DE will give you a huge advantage, but it is essentially like starting from scratch, so it's that crappy 1 in 3 odds again. Anyway you still have your little embie on board trying to do it's thing, so here's hoping. One last thing, long story short, we complained to our clinic on our very last cycle, and as a 'goodwill gesture' the cost of icsi was removed from our total cost. No harm in trying, especially if you are chucking a lot of money their way x

Going to post this now, but will try and pop back and reply again in dribs and drabs xx


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## Carter4

Crazy - Hope medication error was resolved easy enough?

KL - I don't think your posts bring this thread down. Your words are fuelled by honesty and passion. I rarely make promises regarding this IF journey we are all on, but using DE did not feel like giving birth to a stranger. I won't lie, because a little apprehension did kick in just prior to their arrival, but I cried when I first saw them, instinctively wanted to nurture and care for them, and for me the love comes just a little gradually, but it all unfolded exactly the same was as it did for my biological DD. I will never regret the decision because they are here as they are meant to be, but until you experience this you can not be sure, hence the anxieties a lot of us have........did your clinic get back in touch and tell you what to do? I'm hoping your theory about less eggs equals better quality applies to your cycle, fx x


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## Carter4

Sasha - I hope your pregnancy is progressing well? Do you plan on finding out their gender? x

<waves> and ((((((((cuddles)))))))) to Penelope and caro xx


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## Crazy_frog

Oh kl, hoping that follicles decide to play ball and you feel more confident about this cycle. I can understand the planning ahead though, I like to have a plan a, b, c....probably through to z!! 
I don't know if it helps, but I know London wonens clinics set up an egg bank as well as their sperm bank? (Hope I'm allowed to say that?). Sorry if you already know, I don't have any experience but....
Whilst I  appreciate our situation is different, my daughter is not genetically my wife's, nor was she pregnant, i don't doubt her "mummy tiger" instinct. After all the hoops you jump through for ivf, they are your embies and eventually baby, I think we forget about her donor, certainly friends and family do too. Impossible comments comparing her looks to both of us, family traits etc which are beyond impossible! However during the pregnancy we worried about everything from nose size, ear  shape and so on. I think what I'm saying in a very garbled way, is that donor brings worries but for us, those worries eased the moment we held her and clearly as were repeating the process, it's all a means to an end.
Hi Carter, Nope drugs not sorted, clinic not returned call or email....I'm getting but stressed! Plus I can't call till tomorrow due to silly shift pattern. I'm also worried about how bad staffingn is when I'm gonna need to be off, but I can't stop my life for my job, no matter how much I love it. 
Hey to everyone, hope all is well x


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## Trin Trin

Morning all

Thanks for the info Carter!! It's so lovely that you're still here for us all. Really means a lot. I agree with you and Crazy about the donor. We have always used donor sperm but you really don't think about it once they're in your arms. Funny my daughter looks just like my Dh mums family. Clearly not biological or genetic. Being conceived by a donor isn't even thought about anymore. We ran out or sibling sperm in 2012 so had to choose another.

Kl - hope you're feeling a bit better today....

Crazy - sorry to hear they haven't sorted the meds out yet. When will you need them by? My meds are always given to me by the clinic. Hope it gets sorted asap!!

Have a good day everyone x


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## Carter4

Crazy - I hope your clinic get in touch with you today, and certainly by no later than tomorrow. Definitely a stress you could do without that's for sure.

Trin - I have no intention of bailing, just mindful that I'm not walking in the exact same shoes anymore. I so desperately want to see you ladies succeed. Hope your 2ww is treating you kindly?


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## Crazy_frog

Thanks Trin and Carter, yup got reply and they acknowledged the mistake. It will be sorted at first scan. Our clinic don't keep a lot of meds most is sent direct to us through another company, it works quite well (mostly!).
How you getting on kl?


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## KLconfused

Crazy I'm glad drugs are being sorted and thanks for the info on donor and how it is for you. I guess I'm not worried at all about the sperm now as I'm happy with the donor.  I'm worried about the egg now. Hopefully when I find out more how it works I'll he reassured. 

Trin how are you? When is your otd? 

Afm just had bloods and scans. Waiting now for repeats this afternoon. 3 follicles on right and that's it. Been feeling very uncomfortable as I'm on max meds.  Doc said tomorrow or Sunday for trigger so not long now. I've been reading through the over 40s thread and there seem to be some bfp but they are chemical. It just all seems such a waste of time now. I'm counting down only 1 more egg collection  and only a few more scans etc. I asked argc about embryo adoption incase I have nothing to put back but the can't act that quick. They will chat with me about what embryos they have for adoption after this cycle so that's a month away until the follow up meeting.  I'd prefer to stay at the argc if possible.  I'm going to nip round to lwc as well to see if they could do donor embryo next week.  Not sure I should bother.  I spoke to a nurse yesterday at argc and she was positive about this cycle.  I feel exhausted.  I don't want to waste this cycle buy I'm not sure I can look at donor embryo now as I don't have the energy.

Carter thanks so much for your updates.  Can you tell us how it feels to be off the ivf roller coaster. ?have you really said goodbye to it or do you still think about it. 

Hi to everyone else.  Sorry not more personals I'm so tired I can hardly type!


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## Trin Trin

Morning ladies

Crazy - Glad to hear the meds are sorted. I always look forward to the start of the treatment. Keep us all posted.

Kl - Those 3 follicles may just be all you need...the short protocol seems much better....its short and not as long to wait. You'll be having EC perhaps on Tuesdsay/Wednesday. Not long to go at all!! My daughter was conceived using the LWC having IUI and my miscarriage pregnancy in 2011. They we're not very supportive when I was miscarrying as I called them first and they wouldn't see me or scan me:-( They are reputable though.

Test day for me is Thursday. My clinic always say 14 days after EC. I'm not feeling positive sorry to say, just trying to figure out where I go from here.....??

Being off this journey must feel like such a relief but I imagine the heartaches of the past will never leave you. IF my dream is fulfilled I will never forget the pain endured by so many of us. I really wish I could be content to say I can't do this anymore, I really do. 

Anyway, the sun is shining which always hekos😎 x


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## KLconfused

Hi all
How is everyone. ?

I've triggered tonight so ec  Monday morning. I'm still feeling very negative.  I must be the only person on this forum that's gone to the argc and got worse results than the previous clinic. I am in such a foul mood from the drugs I just want to smash things! I was chatting with other ladies at argc today and they were so upbeat and optimistic about it all. After 6 cycles I'm such a different person. I used to be a glass half full person but I'm definitely a glass half empty person  now. 

Trin how are you holding up?


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## Sasha1973

Klconfused I just wanted to wish you good luck for ec on Monday. I totally understand why you're feeling negative, having so many rounds of IVF does that, when we first start out that first cycle is exciting because we all think it's going to work, I remember feeling so positive until that bfn. Every negative cycle after that is a further kick in the teeth. But I really hope you get your little sibling eventually. 

Trin wishing your so much luck and sending positive vibes for your otd on Thursday, I hope your little embie gives you that much wanted sticky little miracle. 

Crazyfrog so glad you got your meds all sorted in the end, do you know when you're starting yet? Looking forward to hearing how it's all going for you. 

Carter how are you're lovely girls? Thank you for asking I'm feeling much better sickness-wise now which is a relief, I have a few issues with pressure down below so they're keeping a close eye on my cervical length but that was reasonable at the last scan. We also found out the genders and we are also having two little girls so I'm over the moon and Noah will be an awesome big brother.

Hi Caro and Penelope   sorry if I've missed anyone xxx


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## Trin Trin

Kl - you're angry and negative because you've been through this many times now since your daughter, become pregnant and miscarried and a negative cycles too so of course you're not going to feel excited anymore. The meds don't help either with how you're feeling. Good news that tomorrow is EC.....I really hope all goes well. Try not to compare but we all do.....those follies could be your next baby!! You're using donor sperm too so this make the difference!!

Sasha - how lovely you're having twin girls!! I'm so pleased for you. Thank you for your kind words of reassurance.

Afm - I'm not in a good place at all:-( waiting is agonising. 4 sleeps to go just want to know for sure so I can focus on what next....I really don't think it's going to be a positive result. Some days I think well it's possible but I don't think I'm going to that lucky:-( I hate coming on here being so doom and gloom....sorry:-(
Of course I'll let you all know. I haven't even brought a test yet....may even get one Thursday morning!! as AF may get here before.

Crazy - hope you're doing okay. 

Hi to everyone else.


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## Crazy_frog

Kl, just to wish you luck for tomorrow. Hoping everything goes well. 
Trin, it's tricky part of wait, i think worst bit. Fingers crossed for you. 
We're just waiting now for period and then we're off. Staffing is dreadful so I'm anxious about having to swap shifts etc, but it's tough. We're doing it so they'll have to manage.


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## Penelope Pitstop

Just a wuivkie from me to say good luck for ec tomorrow kl and send a quick hug to trin. 

Quick hi to everyone else. I'll try and post more personals soon xx


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## Sasha1973

Trin thank you so much for your kind words, it does mean a lot especially with everything you're feeling at the moment. Don't feel bad about feeling down, anyone would having been through and going through what you are. I sincerely wish you all the best for Thursday


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## Crazy_frog

Sasha, I cleary didn't read properly and missed your news. That's very exciting, girlie shopping is much more fun and for two... You must be delighted. Hope pressure settles and they will monitor closely I'm sure.


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## Trin Trin

Hi all

Just a quick one to see how your egg collection went today Kl. I hope all went well and you're resting up.

X


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## Carter4

I keep checking back here for an update from you KL! I really hope your EC went well? x

Trin how are you holding up? Any sneaky hpt's yet? I'm still keeping my fingers tightly crossed for you, stay away AF x

Sasha - How many weeks are you now? I had the 'pressure thingy too'! Mine started after 16 weeks, because my cervix length had already been measured, and although fine, I was a little freaked out. It stayed throughout the pregnancy, and must have just been the weight of two growing babies, pushing down! Congrats on having two girls too x

Crazy - Lots of luck being sent your way for this cycle, hurry up AF! x

AFM - I do have intentions of sharing my feelings since disembarking from the crazy IF rollercoaster, but there is a time and a place, and this is definitely not it right now. KL truthfully I am worried about your lack of update, and after experiencing two failed ferts my brain is going into hyperdrive. Come back soon sweetie xx


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## Trin Trin

Carter I keep checking too🙏🙏🙏 no I haven't tested and I'm not even tempted to this time. Mixed feelings but generally I'm not hopeful.......:-(

Kl I hope all is well my love🙏


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## Crazy_frog

Kl, same as Trin and Carter said, just keep popping over to check in. Thinking of you, we are all here, hoping all is ok. Xx


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## Sasha1973

Klconcused I'm the same as Carter, Trin and Crazyfrog I keep checking in in hope that you're ok and EC and fertilisation went well, we're all thinking about you  

Crazyfrog thank you so much for you good wishes, you really all are such a lovely thoughtful bunch of ladies. 

Trin 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for Thursday, so glad you're not tempted to test early, I hope you're feeling ok.

Carter that sounds exactly as I feel, from just before 16 weeks it started but my cervix looks fine from the scan so it's likely just the extra growing weight.


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## KLconfused

Hi all. So sorry for leaving you all dangling. I really don't feel very well. Lots of nausea since the trigger shot and since ec I have lots of pain on my left ovary which is odd as it had no use able follicles. I just don't feel very well which I haven't had before.

Well somehow from 5 follicles I got 9 eggs. They called today and 5 fetilised. They did ivf  not icsi and I was very worried about that but they said the donor sperm is good. Means we get £1200 back which is nice. I was very tearful after ec maybe because it's my last one I don't know. So appreciative of the sedation after trins experience. 

So I'm told not a 2 day transfer and they will call tomorrow with update. I'd settle for having something to put back. I can't sleep, appetites gone and I'm exhausted. Never felt this bad during a treatment before.

Carter I for one would love to hear about what it's like to get off this treadmill especially as you did de. It makes me see a light at the end of the tunnel and I'm going to carry on regardless so it ls nice to know what I'm aiming for is worth it which I suspect you will say it is!  A friend of mine doing de  got a bfn today. So sad but we know it can work. 

Trin  hope your holding up OK.  My thoughts are with you. If people caring about you got you a baby you would have loads!


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## Sasha1973

Klconfused so pleased and relieved you have good EC and fertilisation news to report. Sorry you're feeling so rough though, I hope you feel better soon, this last cycle of mine I felt the worst I've ever been so hopefully that'll end up being a positive for you too. Fingers crossed your little embies stay strong and thrive xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Kl that's good news about fertilisation but sorry to hear you're not good. I hope you feel better soon and just take it easy for now. 
Trin best of luck for Thursday. As kl said, if support and hoping on here counted for anything... Both of you. 
Carter, I'm not sure there is ever perfect time, but for me it gives hope. No matter where I am, it's our baby we wish for, I wish everyone else going through all of this their own happiness and I like to hear there's a light at the end of this!!


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## Penelope Pitstop

Kl, to echo the other ladies words, great news on the number of eggs collected and fertilised but sorry you aren't feeling well. Hoping you feel better in time for et. 

Trin trin, well done on staying clear of hpts! Fingers crossed for thurs only 2 sleeps to go!! 

I'm happy to share my thoughts and feelings about coming off the if roller coaster but I don't want to upset and offend anyone in doing so 

Xxx


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## Trin Trin

Great news Kl!!! How bazarre more eggs than you expected... They must have been hiding!!! Sorry to hear you're not feeling too good:-( I hope it doesn't last too long. Fingers crossed those embies develop and grow nicely!!

Thanks for the well wishes ladies but I really feel like my AF is on its way. I've looked back at my previous posts and I felt this way last time so who knows.....but I really really feel like it's coming tomorrow :-(

I'll let you know x


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## Trin Trin

Just remembered last time I did come on and bled for a week....even though I was pregnant. Difference is I had 3 transferred so I definitely think it hasn't worked with one embie and feeling like AF is coming.

Oh gosh I feel so damn sad:-(


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## Crazy_frog

Oh Trin I know it's difficult, especially when you've had a tough time, but anything could still happen. We all get so good at symptom spotting or non symptom spotting, you know your body, but I will keep everything crossed. If you bled and still were pregnant then it doesn't matter how many embies were transferred, you still had one stay put. Thinking of you, wishing on every star, big hugs


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## Trin Trin

Aww thanks Crazy!! I think I'm going crazy lol😕 

Right no more posts from me until Thursday!

Night x


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## KLconfused

Trin  only 1 more sleep until you know.  You had such an awful time of it last pregnancy so your bound to be anxious and I think were all obsessed with symptom spotting or imagining.  I really hope today goes quickly for you. 

I just got the call from argc. All 5 embryos have grown but 3 look better than the other 2 although she said all are fine for day 2. I have to go in tomorrow and they will let me know then what will be transferred tomorrow.  They seem keen on split transfers. If they can see 3 best tomorrow they out those back but if 1 is ahead of the others they put that back and leave the rest to day 5. I'm relieved but seems I may be down to 3. Just as long as there's one left tomorrow to go in. Please please please.

I still feel very poorly. My left ovary has settled down and I think the pain was just it ovulating as they never took anything from that side. But I have so much pain in the right side which feels like it's from my ovary. I never take pain killers but I've had to this morning. I also feel bloated and nausea and my apetites gone. I just feel unwell. I can't have ohss with only 5 follicles can I? 

Sorry for lack of other personals. Just struggling a bit at the moment. Xx


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## Penelope Pitstop

Kl I felt very similar after my last ec and I only had 6/7 eggs. Clinic said I might've had mild ohss but weren't too concerned and just told me to increase protein. I didn't have an appetite either but forced myself to drink complan shakes.


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## Crazy_frog

Trin, you're not crazy, but you know what does make your hormones go wacky  best of luck for tomorrow. 
Kl, although you're back to 3, that's still good out of 5 and that's good ones, they are all still going! So fingers crossed all those embies keep on doing their thing and you get your transfers split or otherwise. Let us know how you get on. Hope you feel better, sometimes I think it depends on ease of access to ovaries, some times I've felt more/ less sore than others. Keep up fluids and protein just as a precaution, not easy when you don't feel up to it though. 
So we are out of the blocks, scan on Friday for d3, then we'll see where we go. Trying to plan work shift swaps, but not wanting to get too far ahead right now. One bit at a time.


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## Sasha1973

Kl sorry you're still feeling unwell, your symptoms do sound so similar to me after my last cycle and I was diagnosed with mild ohss so just keep an eye on it. ARGC seem really successful with split transfers, one of my good friends cycled there and had one put back on day 3 and then a further on put back on day 6 (and one frozen as well) and she has b/g twins from it, she swears by them. 

Crazy excellent news being out the starting blocks! Fingers crossed for a fab day 3 scan and looking forward to your updates. 

Trin just wanted to wish you all the best for otd tomorrow, fingers crossed for a positive for you, I'll be thinking of you. 

Carter and Penelope I would definitely love to hear your thoughts and feelings but agree with you a out the timing. 

My thoughts are with all you cycling ladies 🙏🏻 for positive outcomes for you xxx


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## KLconfused

Thanks all. Lots of positive stories of mild ohss so let's hope it's a good sign. 
I did have a split transfer last time at the argc too. I think it's because my daughter was a 3dt so they feel they should put something back day 3. Never tried to get to day 5 before going to argc. 

Crazy great news your starting. It's always nice to be getting started  

Big hugs trin.  It's nearly tomorrow!  

I'm starting to feel a bit better this afternoon. Apetites back a bit. Hope it's generally easing and not just the painkillers I've taken.


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## caro8500

Kl...I had mild OHSS with my first (successful) IVF with 8 eggs. Split transfer sounds like a great idea as well (I wonder why more clinic don;t do this?). So glad you got more eggs than you thought you would. 5 fertilised is great too. Good luck for tomorrow 

Trin...wishing you all the best for tomorrow. So horrible when you feel like AF is on its way but the cyclogest always gave me bad period style cramps even on my successful round. Keeping everything crossed for you

Crazy...great news that its all go for you. I feel your pain about the work issues though! Its added stress that we could do without when cycling 

Sasha...congrats on finding out you are having twin girls! That's a lovely bit of news to hear 

Carter and Pen...nice to hear from you lovely ladies as always 

Sorry its a quick one again. Been really poorly with Endo this week, haven't had a period as bad as this for many months. Actually considered going to a and e earlier this week. Also got a few other health issues at the moment that are worrying me. However after filling in initial online referral I've now completed the medical questionnaire for care and I'm going to send it off tomorrow finally!


----------



## Trin Trin

Thanks everyone for your positiveness and lovely kind words of support. It's s bfn as I expected from the day of awful egg collection. I'm okay just the relief of knowing the outcome....the not knowing is what I can't handle. I'll be writing to my clinic as I would like some answers regarding the egg collection. I'll never know if the lateness of the procedure meant the mature eggs were released already and the smaller ones left were the ones collected.....

Anyway Kl, fab news on how your embryos are doing. I have everything I can possibly cross for you. Crazy, glad to hear your scan is coming up too. Let's hope we'll get some positives on here in August/September!!

I'm going to Sicily on Sunday actually looking forward to it now whereas before I was panicking about traveling and being early pregnant.....what next for me? I really don't know....but each time I get a knock back my coping mechanism is to plan the next try....BUT I realise that I can't keep going forever. Really not sure but I'm going to finish off my complaint with NHS and now my clinic too. Who knows I may even get some compensation which can pay towards another go 😉

Take care x


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## Penelope Pitstop

Oh trin I'm sorry lovely. I was waiting for your news this morning and hoping it was going to be a big fat positive for you. I'm glad you have a holiday booked so you can go away and forget about if for a while and enjoy some time with the family. I definitely think you need to contact your clinic about ec and fingers frossed you can get some of the treatment costs refunded.

Take care xx


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## Sasha1973

Trin so very sorry to hear your news   It does sound like your clinic messed up a bit, I'd definitely try and get some answers from them and compensation towards your next treatment. I hope you have a lovely time in Sicily and come back feeling refreshed. My thoughts are with you xxx


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## Carter4

Oh Trin I'm very sorry to see this update, we all want such a different outcome for you.

It's a pain that you have the added stress of unanswered questions regarding your EC, but I definitely think it is worth pursuing.

I really hope you are able to switch off while you are on holiday. Then come back fighting fit, ready to tackle your clinic. 

Big hugs lovely lady, you'll make the right decisions for your family xx


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## KLconfused

trin - so sorry for your BFN. You've had such an awful run of it im hoping you have a nice relaxing break to clearly think through next steps. Definitely worth the discussion with your clinic about the impacts of the EC. Also hope you get some answers from the NHS.  

I have had 3 embryos transferred today so day 3. 2 grade 4 (best) and 1 grade 3. Ive had 8 grade 4 embryos before and only 1 baby so im not convinced the grading means anything but we shall see. Test date 18th August. There are 2 remaining embryos they are going to let get to day 5 or 6 and see what happens but unlikely they will be freezable. Not what I was expecting when I only had 3 follicles on day 10. Seems like my left ovary has shut up shop though and im more convinced I think this is my last OE IVF. Im sure the egg quality has gotten worse and this time I cant blame the sperm. I don't know why the karyotyping came back normal for both miscarriages either. If its not genes what is it. Ive had no intralipids either and the Dr today said my immunes are fine and it can be harmful to give them if I don't need them. Im on clexane and asprin and steroid but it feels strangely lacking. 

Im still feeling very bloated and sore and uncomfortable but appetites back. Im still agitated and want to rip most peoples heads off as everything seems to be annoying me at the moment! Lovely Gestone injection to look forward to tonight. 

Caro im sorry your having other medical niggles but great you've filled in the forms. Its such a mammoth undertaking to start IVF again and it does take over life no matter how much we try not to let it. 

Crazy good luck with your scan tomorrow. 

Hi everyone else. Im still interested in hearing about what it feels like to be off the IF rollercoaster. Maybe put it on the success thread then we can read if we want to


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## Penelope Pitstop

Fan news on 3 embies being back on board kl.  I'm certainly no expert but maybe less is more for this cycle and the lack of mess may work?? Who knows with ivf, it doesn't seem to follow any pattern. Did you have 3 embryos put back last time?


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## Sasha1973

Kl that sounds like really positive news, 3 to put back is very good. I agree with Penelope in that sometimes less is more, there really doesn't seem to be any partern to what will work and what won't. Wishing you every success. 

Crazy best of luck for your scan tomorrow and positive news 

Caro thank you so much for the congratulations. Sorry you're not feeling well at all I hope you start to feel better soon. It's great that you've taken the next step to get back on this rollercoaster, such a massive decision but if you're anything like me you always feel better once the decision is made and then eager to get on with it. Wishing you the best of luck and looking forward to hearing your progress.


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Sorry sasha I've just realised I have completely forgotten to say congratulations on finding out its twin girls.  So sorry it wasn't intentional. Anyway, belated congratulations!!!


----------



## Sasha1973

Penelope that's really kind thank you and don't worry I hadn't taken it personally, it's been a busy thread of late so I was trying to let people know but a bit low key anyway if that makes sense


----------



## Crazy_frog

Trin I'm sorry to hear your news. I'd hoped after the difficulties of ec that you were due some luck. Enjoy your holiday and face everything on your return. Sounds like there are qu for your clinic and I hope they spend some time addressing issues. 
Kl it's great you've embies back on board, hope they do their thing. Excellent grades. 
Caro sorry you've been unwell. First step is hard, hoping it gets better now. 
Hi to everyone I've missed. 
Thanks for well wishes, tomorrow can't come quick enough.


----------



## Trin Trin

That's fabulous news Kl. 3 on board filled me with lots of hope!! Really hope one, two or even all three stick around!! 

Thanks everyone I'm feeling a bit sad I must admit. I was okay this morning but slowly but surely the sadness has kicked in:-( I'm going to try and enjoy my holiday and get out of this depressed state I'm in. Feeling very agitated with people including my 10 year old....feeling so guilty as I don't want to speak to anyone.  When you want something so badly it just hurts so much and I become so obsessed and I so obsorbed in it all.

Crazy glad it's all starting again for you x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Trin don't be hard on yourself. It's ok to grieve after a bfn. We have to have hope each time, or we'd never start, but with that comes loss. Be gentle with yourself, allow those feelings. Take care xx


----------



## Trin Trin

Thanks Crazy!! Hope all went well with your scans today. It's all starting up again for you!!

I'm probably going to to take some time out from FF just need to get my head in gear plus I'm abroad from Sunday for a week. Couldn't have come at a better time. 

Kl hope your okay.

Take care all x


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## caro8500

So sorry Trin. Crazy is right it is like a loss of hope every time and you are bound to feel sad, be kind to yourself and enjoy your hols as much as is possible. Time way from FF is a good thing sometimes x

KL. fab news. nice to get them back on board. Hope you are feeling better. have you got much planned to get you through the next 2 weeks 

Crazy..how did your scan go...all looking ok I hope?
x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Sorry Internet issues yesterday.
Scan went well, well we started anyway. Very short scan, they didn't do afc ( not normally my issue tho) they ere running an hour behind, I think because someone had had bad news. Difficult not to pick up on it and it, feel for them. So next scan in 5 days. Currently upbeat and positive for us. Nervous and excited....but relived to begin.


----------



## KLconfused

Crazy - so exited for you that your underway. 

trin - we all need a break sometimes and I find the 2 weeks after a MC or BFN just the absolute worst. Take care of yourself and we will all be here when your ready.

Caro - how are you feeling?

Has anyone heard from dolphins? She was on here quite a bit and waiting for her sons assessment. Ive pm'd but heard nothing and am just hoping everything is OK. 

AFM - Pen yes I had 3 embryos in last time. 1 x grade4, a 3 and a 2 I think so they are better grades this time. But the first 2 IVFs I did I only ever got grade 4 embryos and I had 4 the first round and 3 the second (1 baby from the 7) so the number of grade 4's is definitely diminishing. Im thinking maybe I respond better to gonal f than the merional and fostimon the argc use but maybe its just because ive got old. 

I am going insane with this wait. The cycle was very hard at the start with the cyst etc and I cried loads. But the second half seems to have whizzed by. Its also a lot cheaper so far. And next time it would be cheaper still as we would have to pay the sperm costs (£2100) as we already have 2 more vials in the freezer. Hubbie panicked a bit when I said that as its DE after this! When I say cheaper its still around £10k just not £16k like last time. The wait is driving me mad. Every hour seems like a day and ive been symptom spotting already. I keep thinking about the embryos and I wish I could look and see if they are still alive. day 6 today from EC so if they are working they should be latching on. please please please let them be implanting. I haven't heard yet about the 2 in the dish still so im assuming they haven't made it to blast and will be discarded. Maybe its a good sign they are even still alive day 6 though as i didn't have this many last time. Maybe the donor sperm is helping who knows. 

Ive been feeling really hungry but then nauseous when i eat. But i think that's because i felt so awful after the trigger and EC. I did have mild OHSS which is a shock at 41 with 5 follicles. I have never felt as rough as i have this cycle. 

One of my dogs has also been very poorly. Bad stomach and i was cleaning the whole dog room at 3am Saturday. Got told off by hubby the next day but i tend to do the dogs and it was so bad i didn't want to inflict the clean up on him. Doggie seems perkier this morning but ive been doing a lot of googling symptoms and frightening myself. Shes only 10 but that can be considered old for some dogs. I know it sounds weird but my lovely 15 month old collie died 2 days before my ET on the round i had my daughter. He had a horrid death from epilepsy and when i had the ET i really didn't care if it worked and i spent 2 weeks on the sofa crying and eating biscuits. So maybe some emotional strain helps in some way!

Hi to every one else. xx


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## KLconfused

Sorry I did a typo above. I meant we would not have to pay for donor sperm again not that we would.

Clinic called and we have one blast to freeze. It's the lowest grade they freeze but still good. We've never had a blast before as last time 2 went back day 5 and they were nearly blasts. Confuses the next steps if this cycle doesn't work but we have a precious embryo in the freezer and that's good and hopefully it means the 3 inside me at the moment are still going too.


----------



## Sasha1973

Kl that's amazing news you must be over the moon that you have a little frostie too, sounds really positive for the ones they put back too. How are you feeling now?


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## Penelope Pitstop

That's fab news kl, really positive.i hope the next 9/10 days go by quickly x


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## Crazy_frog

Wonderful news kl, hoping everything goes well for the rest of the wait. Sorry to hear dog is poorly, hope they feel better soon. Everything crossed for you. X


----------



## Carter4

Whahooo KL to your three precious embies on board, and one for the freezer too, how good is that, even if a little unexpected! Fingers so mega tightly crossed for you x

Crazy - Sending you so much luck for this cycle. Great to hear that you are out of the starting gate x

Trin - You have had such a time of it of late. It may well do you the power of good to steer clear of FF's for a while. You'll be off on your hols now, hope you come back feeling refreshed x

caro - Ouch to the painful endo and AF. Hope your other health issues don't amount to anything. Care should reply to your medical questionnaire in a timely fashion and before you know it you will be up and running again x

Sasha - How many weeks are you now? Any strange new pregnancy symptoms to throw into the mix? x

AFM - My little twinnies are ten weeks already!


----------



## caro8500

wow well done on the blast KL. I've never had one before either, that's really exciting. Just shows you can never tell how a cycles going to turn out. Hope you manage to take it easy over the next 2 weeks. 
Must say though, the cost of your cycles are a bit of a shocker for me. I know we are going to pay more going private this time (previous cycles we have paid for have been a set amount plus drugs via NHS and very reasonable as far as IVF goes) but I must admit I don't really have a clue how much it is all going to cost this time around. Think my DH might have a heart attack !

xx


----------



## KLconfused

Caro - I wouldn't pay too much attention to the ARGC costs as they are in a league of their own. When I was at Wessex I think each cycle was around £7k and the FETs were £2k. The ARGC just seem run quite differently. They don't say how much it will cost at the start and you pay daily for whatever you have like bloods etc. We had to pay £650 to freeze 1 blast and its £480 just to accept the donor sperm from another clinic. All they do is put it in their own freezer I think and they don't have their own sperm bank so you have no choice but they have you over a barrel as we wanted their success rates. So I think £7k is more normal for ICSI and if you go abroad its a lot cheaper still. I know its all still silly money though but the £9k my daughter cost was the best £9k I ever spent!

Im going insane. Im 5dp3dt. I thought I had symptoms a couple of days ago but they went yesterday and now I have symptoms that it hasn't worked. It sounds odd but my womb sits to the right and I can clearly feel it, when im pregnant its in the middle. now its off to the right. I know its odd but its always been how its been before. I feel so deflated. My skins gone like leather so the needles are not going in easily. ARGC also called yesterday and my progesterone has dropped so I have to do gestone and cyclogest. They said its in normal range but they don't want it to drop more. Last time my progesterone was really high. If I was pregnant my progesterone wouldn't be dropping I don't think. I want it to be next week but also I don't as I feel so negative about my chances  Ive had a terrible week so far with my daughter not sleeping well (she gets upset when im doing IVF as im away a lot) and my poorly dog. Im exhausted. Sorry to be a winger. 

Hi to everyone.


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## Susane wood

Hello Ladies 

I hope you all are doing well..... Does any one know good clinic in London for intralipid??

thanks
sus


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## Penelope Pitstop

Kl, I know it's easier said than done but please don't give up hope. No symptoms or your womb being on the right does not mean this cycle hasn't worked. As you know every cycle and every pregnancy is different even in the same woman so those embies could still be doing their thing. I'm sorry your dog is still unwell and your little girl isn't sleeping but you may well be right when you said a little emotional strain may help?!?!? Not that wish any of this extra stress on you. Sending you big hugs. Xx


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## Penelope Pitstop

P.s I will try and post on the success thread over the next few days about my thoughts on coming off the if roller coaster however I really hope that I don't cause anyone any upset or offence x


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## Sasha1973

Carter I'll be 19 weeks tomorrow and have my anomaly scan tomorrow too so looking forward to seeing the twincesses again   how are your lovely little girls doing?

Crazy how is your cycle going? When are you back for your next scan? Been thinking about you. 

Trin I hope you're enjoying Sicily, I know you're taking time out but didn't want to forget you. 

Caro I think we've averaged about £7500 per cycle however I have had to have a couple of hysteroscopies within that too and have also paid privately twice for all the starting sti blood tests so really I'd say each cycle has cost around £6,000 and that includes ICSI. 

Penelope looking forward to reading your story on the other thread when you get a chance to post it, I may need to ask you for a link if I can't find it though, I'm sure you won't cause any offence or upset. 

Kl sorry you're feeling negative, try not to read too much into your symptoms or lack off ,it could still go either way. 

Hi to everyone else xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Kl, agree with other ladies evrrytime is different. Don't over analyse symptoms at this point, it's all still early. Sorry things are tough at the moment, all these emotions definitely seem to affect everyone in or household!!
Penelope, look forward to reading your thoughts, I love the success thread- keeps me slightly more grounded.... Slight.....during this!
Susane, sorry I can't help with intralipid, best of luck for you though. 
Caro, we do light cycling so low dose drugs and short protocol, ours is around. 3500 with donor sperm on top (although not as pricey as argc). Each clinic is slightly different as to what they do/ not include. But I agree argc prices make my heart beat a little faster, although perhaps all that monitoring equals the higher success rates. 
Wow Sasha, time flies by!! Hope all goes well for your scan. Let us know how you get on. Hope you're feeling brighter now. 
Thanks for thinking of me, scan tomorrow and will see how were doing. Clomid down-thank goodness! Gonal from tomorrow(hopefully). Will update tomorrow hopefully.


----------



## Trin Trin

Hi all

Things just can't get any worse!! Night before I was due to go away I realised my daughters passport had expired last week😢 Couldn't believe I allowed that to happen!! Too much going on during the last 6 months I've just lost my focus!! Had to drive to Peterborough yesterday to sort passport out. They don't issue children's passports in a day, will arrive next Tuesday. Had to rebook flights and hotels at an additional cost of £500!!! So peed.....not going into 23rd now.

Kl not long to go now I really believe this cycle is going to be the one!!
Crazy - Glad all has started again and your feeling upbeat and positive!!
Sasha - wow 19 weeks you're almost half way already. Thanks for still thinking of me...means a lot.
Carter - 10 weeks already!!!!! You must be sooooooooo happy

Just a quick one. I'll pop on and off to see how Crazy and Kl are getting on xx


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## Crazy_frog

Oh Trin, that's so not what you needed at all. But holiday sorted again and hopefully it'll all be smooth from here. Fingers crossed the great escape, take 2, all goes to plan and you have a lovely time. Thanks so much for your kind words. Let's see how long positive stays around for!!
Sasha, hope all good with girls today.
Penelope I read your success story, interested to see you're thinking ahead. 
Scan today was fine, lots of follie, lining thickening up well- triple stripe already. Starting gonal tonight and rescan Friday. All good, except they'd forgotten to book the scan. No issue squeezing in though.


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## KLconfused

Trin what a nightmare. Easily done though.  It's so hard to focus on anything else with this going on. 

Crazy glad it's all starting well. This thread is lucky for others just not me Caro and Trin so I'm sure you  have bump soon!

Penelop I saw your update on success thread. If id had my baby that was due in Feb I would have wanted another as I've always wanted 4. I didn't expect to still be trying now for number 2. Your so lucky to have that option and hopefully you will get a number 3. 

Afm still feeling very negative about this cycle. Womb still off to the right. I was really hungry but clinic called yesterday and said stop taking steroid and now I'm not hungry anymore. They said progesterone still dropped so they would see if stopping steroid helps but I'm still in the realms of possibility though. I just don't feel pregnant and every other time I have. I'm going test Sunday so I can tell my parents If they need to have my daughter Tuesday when I have the blood test. If it's negative at home Sunday and Monday I'll tell them not to and I'll drive straight home from clinic Tuesday morning instead of waiting around for the news. Been thinking a lot about what next and we will have to do a fet ASAP and then donor eggs with the sperm we have bought already. My eggs have done a bit better this time than last but not as good as the ivf Jan 2014 so I'm certain this is my last oe attempt.  My mum causally dropped into conversation my cousins about to have her 2nd child. She didn't seem to want the first. I spent 2 days crying at how unfair it all is. I love my daughter so much but she is growing up so fast and I long for a baby again.  I can't carry around this sadness any longer. De  it is and I realise that still might not work  but I'm ready to try so very interested to hear from you carter on the success thread. I'm like Trin and planning next steps is what gets me through.  Xx


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## Penelope Pitstop

Trin, sorry to hear about your holiday nightmare. Hope you are able to get the r & r you all deserve when you finally get there. 

KL, dont worry about not feeling pregnant as that is not an indicator if it not working. I didnt feel pregnant with either of my boys. I can totally understand why the news of your cousin was so upsetting. IF is totally unfair and it does seem to be those that dont really care either way get pregnant so easily and I think that hurts even more. Definately have a plan in placed, I know it always helps me, but please dont give up hope just yet lovely. Sending you big hugs and will keep my eye out for your good news over the next few days.  

Hi to everyone else. 

x


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## Crazy_frog

Kl try not to worry, I know easier said than done. Hope progesterone levels are better without steroids. How is dog doing now? Not long til test now, fingers and toes crossed for you. 
Sasha hope scan was ok, thinking of you. 
I'll be honest, last cycle didn't feel so lucky, but maybe this time.... 
Hi to everyone.


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## Sasha1973

Crazy you sound quite positive, that's excellent, I really hope this is your time, have they given you a rough EC date yet?

Kl don't right this cycle off yet, very often symptoms of a BFP and AF are the same so it's not over until test day. When is otd?

Trin so sorry to hear about your passport mix up, you've had so much on your plate lately, I'm glad you've managed to sort it and rearrange your holiday, I hope you have a lovely break away and have time to refresh. 

Hi to everyone else 

Afm scan went well, both babies looking healthy and I'm feeling much better so all good news.


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## Crazy_frog

Really pleased to hear all good for babies Sasha. Guessing you'll be rescanned in few more weeks as well. 
Scan today all ok, around 8 showing signs of coming up (higher end of lite aim) so all good. Maybe ec end of next week.


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## Sasha1973

Glad your scan went well and sounds like everything's heading in the right direction for you Crazy, when are you back for your next scan? Yes they've got me back at the beginning of Sept for a cervical scan and then growth scans at 28, 32 and 36 so I'm being very well looked after, I can't fault the NHS with their care


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## Crazy_frog

I'm sure they'll continye to monitor closely. Nice to see them that frequently and very reassuring. 
Scan again Monday, head starting to overthink.... Trying to take each step as we come. 
Happy weekend everyone, I'm working the lot as I swapped shifts. Ah well


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## Trin Trin

Kl - I hope you're doing okay and I really do have a good feeling about this cycle. If you're testing today I'm thinking of you praying for a positive test that will provide you with a sibling you long for.....surely it's your time for some luck🙏 thinking of you....

Crazy - try not to overthink but it happens to us all. Good luck with your scan on Monday. The SP sounds so much better with how quickly EC comes around. 

Pene - read your story and I think women should be able to have as many as they wish, as long as they can look after them. It's irrelevant that we have to try this way. Don't listen to others who make their silly comments and judgements. 

Sasha - great news that your girls are growing nicely and that the NHS are looking after you well. Lovely to hear something positive.

Caro - hope you're doing okay my love.

Afm - I wrote a letter to my clinic......plus booked a review appointment for 7 Sept. Holiday is rebooked for 23rd


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## Penelope Pitstop

Morning trin,
Thank you for your response to my post. Hope you are ok?

Kl, thinking of you this morning. Like trin I have a good feeling about this cycle for you 
Xz


----------



## KLconfused

Hi all thanks for your thoughts.  Sadly a bfn today. Official test is Tuesday but it won't change.  I knew it hadn't worked a few days ago. I'm so angry with my husband for being infertile and with my stupid useless body for being stupid and useless. I'm so upset at all the mistakes I've made in life and why didn't I want a child before I was 34. 

Me and hubble are really struggling. We're not using our frostie as it seems pointless after I've had 10 top grade embryos in now and 1 baby. It must be my eggs are rubbish. I'll start looking tomorrow for a donor egg clinic.  I'd rather die than not have another baby but neither me or my husband have the emotional Ability to do another oe cycle as they seem a waste of time. People in my family have had natural children by accident at 43 and 48 but I guess they didn't have an  infertile husband and weren't doing ivf.  

As you can tell I'm not  coping well! A few weeks and I'll be better I'm sure. Got buckets of tears I've already started shedding
. It's going to be a long day. 
Hi to everyone sorry no personals.


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## Crazy_frog

Kl, I've just run on to see your news. IT wasn't what I'd hoped to see. However it is still early. Late implanted with day 3 do happen. Thoughts with you and family. I'm sorry it's brief but don't beat yourself up too much.


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## Penelope Pitstop

Kl, I'm with crazy frog on this one, you could still get a bfp as it is still early days x


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## Trin Trin

Just a quick one.....Kl, today is 10dp3dt...tomorrow is when you'll get an accurate test. I know we all know our bodies. My successful cycle I tested on this day and it was negative then the following day 12dp2dt it was positive. I know how you feel like your body is failing you do what others seem to do effortlessly but until your 14 days past your egg collection I'm not going to accept that it's a negative. I'm going keep hoping🙏

This is just all too much...it really is. I really hope tomorrow is a different result and your blood test in Tuesday. Try your best to support one another you and your DH. No one is to blame it's just unfair this is all so easy for some and ever so hard for others. Thinking of you xx


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## Sasha1973

Kl I know it's hard but you still have 2 days until otd, Trin Crazy and Penelope are so right in that you shouldn't write it off yet anything can happen in the next 2 days. 🙏🏻 for a positive for you


----------



## KLconfused

Another bfn for me this morning. I just know it hasn't worked.  At least it's not a miscarriage I suppose. I just don't understand why it's not worked. I didn't even have intralipids this time as my immune were fine. I just think nothing implanted but the embryos were good quality and one of the ones left in a dish is a blast and it wasn't as good as the 3 that went back. I really thought argc would work its magic for me like it does for others but I should have known I wouldn't be that lucky. 
Onto donor eggs and sperm now. I knew it would end up like this so I suppose I'm ready. 

Sorry I just seem to bring this thread down. I've tried so hard and been so determined I don't think I could have tried harder but it doesn't seem to matter.  For the first time in my life I have to give up on something and that's a second biological child.  

I bought a pregnancy test in tesco  the other day and the cashier asked if I was having another and I said about ivf.  She said what everyone says. She knows someone who had ivf for first child and then fell naturally pregnant with the second. I said we have a sperm problem so sadly me having a baby didn't help. Why do people make so many assumptions and they all think ivf is more successful than it is.


----------



## Trin Trin

Oh Kl I'm so sorry:-( I just don't know what to say anymore.....unlucky is an understatement. Just don't understand why it's not working?? I'm so cross with all of this I really am. I really believed it had to be your time for some luck. Just not fair..well if it's any consolation I do know how you feel feeling so unlucky:-(

Since 2014 I've had 4 cycles, 2 pregnancies, chemical and a negative.....no baby to show for it but almost £18k poorer!! Need to think hard about what I do next....really not sure. Can't lie I'm scared of failing again:-(

So sorry argc didn't work out for you. Just shows with all of this it doesn't really matter what you do, how you eat, your lifestyle etc it's all just down to luck which really sucks!!! If that is the case we're just really unlucky which does make me feel sad. 

If you want to rant feel free to PM me if you're feeling bad about being negative and down on here. I'm sure the ladies don't mind though. 

Take care my love xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Kl I really hoped it was too early, I agree this whole thing is so desperately unfair. You're not bringing the thread down at all. We've all had miserable times and we understand those feelings. But I can only imagine when you've been to the best and done all you have...
I don't think you are giving up, you're just changing paths. Giving up sounds like something you're not used to, so don't alliw it to become another thing you beat yourself up for. 
As for people's comments, well ignorance about ivf is amazing. And it suddenly becomes everyone's business and they are all soon qualified to make suggestions. I use the nod and smile approach- well until I get rage and then people tend to get more info then they might have expected..... The needle going "up" to the ovaries instead of through the tummy was a shocker for a few nurse colleagues...... Their face did make me laugh though. 
Anyway, just to say be kind to yourself and give you and your husband some time to work out next path. Thoughts with you xx


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Kl, I'm so sorry it was bfn again this morning. It is extremely unfair, I like trin thought it was your turn. I can totally understand your anger and frustration at the whole situation and it does seem that others seem to get so easily what we long for so much. It is unbelievable how naive others are about ivf, if I had a pound for every rim someone has told me the same story you had from the lady in tescos id be rich. If people don't know my situation I do tend to do the smile and not trick but I've had family say it to me and health professionals and then I let rip on them!!! 

Sending you big hugs xxx


----------



## Sasha1973

So sorry to hear this kl, I do understand your frustration and anger, it's so hard to keep going through this. Please don't apologise for being negative, I think we can all appreciate how you feel and we're all here to support you. My partner too has sperm issues as you know and if I had a £ for the amount of times I've heard the 'oh you've had one baby it might just happen now' I'd be a very rich woman, people who conceive easily just don't get it. I hope you're managing to get through this disappointment and keep talking with DH as I'm sure he's feeling it as much as you


----------



## Sasha1973

Crazy I hope your scan has gone well today, let us know how you get on


----------



## Crazy_frog

My turn to have a grumble, so follicles are growing but slower than I'd hoped. Lining thick but no obvious reason. Feeling frustrated and little stressed. Guess we'll wait and see tomorrow. Hoping for more helpful nurse and will ask to see Dr if not


----------



## Sasha1973

Crazy don't be disheartened if your follies aren't growing as quick as you expect, I went through the same with this cycle and ended up stimming for longer - 14 days in total I think - which is the longest in all my cycles, I was down about it at the time and started to write the cycle off but it's the results at the end of it that count. Are you back in tomorrow for another scan? I'm sure they'll come up it just may take a couple of days longer   Sending you positive thoughts x


----------



## caro8500

Hi all.

Wrote post yesterday but then lost it. Been away camping with DH and DS and no internet.

KL. So sorry for your BFN. The longer this journey takes the harder it becomes. Yet we keep going because we never know if the next one will be the one. It sounds like you have made your mind up about DE? I guess it takes time to get your head around this and there's a process of grieving for own eggs. Thinking of you x

Crazy..My follicles are always super slow growing and I hate those first few scans as nothing much seems to be happening but I've always got there in the end...I'm sure you will do too try not to worry to much

Trin.. what a nightmare with your daughters passport. so easily done, glad you've managed to re book.

Sasha. Yay for all being ok with your scan. That's another milestone ticked off. Sounds like you are in good hands, we are so lucky to have the NHS in this country.

Got my appt through for care 2nd Sep. Hubbie grumbling about the costs already! Has everyone paid for Hepatitis, HIV etc screening through their clinic or did anyone have it done elsewhere. It kind of alludes to the fact that you can have it done elsewhere and don't have to have it with them but I don't know where else you'd get it done?


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks for support. 
Caro your gp may help you out. You could always ask. Sometimes gp's will do hormone ones too. 
Sasha, yup scan tomorrow. Everything crossed. 
Trin and kl hope you're holding up ok.


----------



## Amz2006

Hi Ladies,

I hope you don't mind me joining you. We are lucky enough to already have DS1 born 2011 and DS2 who just turned 1!

I wonder if we dare dream of baby number 3?? We have 4 frozen embryos left from DS2 cycle, I can't bear the though of having them disposed of when I know what we went through to make them! I've just touched base with our clinic and waiting to hear what we need to organise if we decide to go again. The thought of going again is scary!! I never thought id be a mum and here I am thinking about a third!!

I'm going to have a read be nice to "meet" any people in the same situation xx


----------



## Carter4

KL - I've sent you another pm x ps I hope it wasn't too drawn out at ARGC today? x

caro - Re hep b, HIV etc, lots of ladies are lucky getting their gp on board to sanction the tests. Can only say mine tried half heartedly but we ended up paying the same through the nhs as we would have done privately. The other alternative (which a friend suggested, but DH was mortified at the idea, and I wasn't very keen) is to go through a sexual health clinic x

Penelope - I wish you so much luck for #3 x

Crazy - I hope your scan brings you more comforting news tomorrow x

Sasha - Glad to hear that all is well with your girls. Do you plan on a natural birth, or cs, or is the jury still out at this stage? x

Trin - Oooh I hope you get a speedy response to your letter, and that the 7th hurries around. Have a fab holiday x

Amz - Welcome, congrats on your two DS's, and good luck for number three. I would struggle letting any frosties perish too, so completely understand why you feel the need to give them a chance x


----------



## Trin Trin

Welcome Amz!!

Kl - hope you're doing okay. I've sent you a message but in your own time let us know how you're doing.

Crazy - my follies didn't always perk up straight away, try not to worry. Hope your scans show that all us heading in the right direction. Remind me when EC will be....my brain is like a sieve these days. 

Caro - my gp did my tests on my first cycle but the second time round I did it with the clinic more for convenience and speed. I'm not the most patient person!!

Carter - haven't heard anything yet from clinic. Not even sure if I'm looking forward to my review as I'm not sure what to do next.......own eggs or wait forever for a donor to match my ethnic background:-( bad enough finding sperm but egg donors are actually harder to match:-(

Can I ask you all your thoughts re using my eggs or a donor. I have no reservations about it at all it's more am I wasting my time using my own. Does my track record of miscarriage mean it's my eggs....I'm confused.com!!


----------



## Crazy_frog

Hi amz, good luck for future treatments. 
Trin, no joy with lwc egg bank then? That's a shame. I hope you get a swift reply and follow up goes ok. I can't shed any light on your question. Glad you've reached decision you're happy with. 
Kl, thinking of you and hope you're doing ok. 
Caro hope go does help. I think it's hit and miss as to who you get. 

Thanks Carter and Trin. scan today great. Ec on Friday. What a difference a nurse makes! Trigge tonight. Scary but soon. 
Hi to evryone I missed!!


----------



## Carter4

It's a tough decision Trin. Can only add that Care have quite a high turnover of egg donors, due to the twice yearly campaigns they run (March/April and Sept/Oct), so you might be lucky and get one of your ethnicity a bit quicker. Also will your consultant suggest DE to you, or will they wait for your cue? Your mc's would appear to imply that the problem could be your eggs, but then again there could be an underlying issue, and it is almost impossible to know. If you can cope with losing the genetic link, and are not fussed then embrace DE's. If undecided still, why not get yourself on a waiting list now (at a cost, think it was about £400 odd), just while everything is ticking over and choices are being made. You can always opt onto their deferred waiting list if you try with OE's again.

Great news on your scan Crazy, and hurrah to trigger shot this evening. Lots of luck for EC on Friday.


----------



## caro8500

Just wanted to pop on to say hope egg collection goes well tomorrow Crazy. Will be looking out for an update

Not managed to ring GP yet re tests...work just too busy, but going to give it a try. Thanks ladies 

Quick hi to Amz. Always great to hear a positive story. Hope you manage to get started again soon


----------



## Sasha1973

Crazy just wanted to wish you all the best for EC today, I hope it all goes well and you get lots of juicy eggs, let us know how you get on x


----------



## Trin Trin

Hope egg collection goes well today Crazy.

Kl - still in my thoughts hope you're doing okay under the circumstances xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Quick message to say collection went well, 11. Now waiting on call tomorrow am. 
Hi to all and thanks for well wishes.


----------



## joiedevivre

Hi ladies!
I am ready to try again. We got pregnant naturally unexpectedly after years and years of trying and a miscarriage post IUI.  Did any of you try naturally for #2 or am I kidding myself?  I don't want to waste time, but at the same time, the whole journey with starting fertility drugs/blood tests/etc is no walk in the park.


----------



## caro8500

Crazy - great news and great number. fingers crossed for today for nail biting call today x

Hi Joiedevivre I've been trying for many years and never a sniff of a natural pregnancy. Would imagine you have a better chance having fallen pregnant naturally before but I guess it depends how long you want to give it.  Good luck whatever you decide


----------



## Sasha1973

Crazy that's an excellent number, so pleased for you, fingers crossed they got jiggy last night and you have a great fertilisation rate today. How are you feeling after EC? Not too sore I hope. Looking forward to hearing your news. 

Joiedevivre welcome, we also tried naturally but never had any luck and due to our ages couldn't give it too much time, but then we knew it would be a miracle if we did anyway as our problem (at least the ones we knew about) were male factor. Good luck though in whichever route you decided to go down. 

Caro I paid the clinic for all the blood tests for me and DP privately, think it cost about £400-£500 in total, the only one I got free through the GP was the chlamydia one. Did you manage to get time to ring your GP and get anywhere?

Amz welcome to the thread, it's a lovely bunch of ladies to be part of. I would feel the same as you with frosties I don't think I could get rid of them knowing they could potentially be another little baby, you're really lucky to have 4. I've never been lucky enough to make it to blast let alone have any frosties, I've always had day 2 or 3 transfers of average to poor quality embryos but I've been so blessed with a gorgeous boy and twin girls on the way. Good luck in your quest for baby no. 3. 

Carter the consultant has already suggested a csection for me as I ended up with one for DS after a failed induction and I'm happy with that. It'll be at 37 weeks unless things happen naturally first. I hope you and your beautiful girls are all doing well. 

Trin I'm glad you managed to get your holiday rebooked, I bet you're looking forward to a break. I'm afraid I can't help with DE but it sounds like Carter's given you some great advice. 

Kl I hope you're ok and getting through this hard time. 

Hi Penelope I hope you're well, have you had any more thoughts or plans for no. 3? 

I hope I haven't missed anyone. Everything's going on here, babies are starting to move more especially at nighttime!


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## Crazy_frog

Been keeping busy today, so  out of the mature 7, 5 fertilised. Planned for Monday transfer anyway and they seem confident of that. Keep growing littlies.


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## Sasha1973

5 is brilliant Crazy you must be so pleased. Fingers crossed they thrive and you have some lovely ones to choose from on Monday x


----------



## Kitten 80

Hi there I wondered if I can join you my name is kitten it's been 5 years since conceiving my dd and now we are ready for our FET x


----------



## scribbles

Hi ladies!

I thought I could join you as DH and I have decided to have go with our first FET! DD was born in January and we have four frosties so we are going to crack on with expanding the brood! I think we are nuts but I want to have all the kids I'm ever going to have before I finish my degree and we have decided to not have any more rounds of IVF. 

Are there many people here who had their children very close together?


----------



## Crazy_frog

Gosh it's getting busy over here!! Welcome to all the new ladies, good luck with your plans. 
So transferred 2 today, all 5 still going various grades. Here come the highs and lows of 2ww!!


----------



## Sasha1973

Crazy congratulations on being PUPO! I hope the 2ww passes quickly for you. Sounds like you may even get some frosties too with the others still going strong?

Welcome scribbles and kitten, looking forward to sharing your journeys with you, good luck.


----------



## KLconfused

Crazy - best of luck in the 2ww and I hope you get frosties too. 

Hi to all the newbies. 

Thanks everyone for asking after me. Im holding it together - just. Felt the need to cut myself off from everyone for a while. Im sure you all understand. Follow up with ARGC 18th September and a meeting with Care Northampton 3rd Sept to talk about DE. We are definitely going that way next. We will use the frostie we have at ARC at some point but not next. Im gutted and cant seem to stop bursting into tears but I cant do anymore cycles of OE IVF. I still don't feel well and have a constant headache. Not sure why the last cycle made me feel so rough. I have no confidence that it will ever work so no point wasting more money on more OE. We will spend it on DE and hopefully a new baby. 

Will be back soon xx


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## Kitten 80

Thank you for the welcome   


Congrats crazy pupo 


Klconfused    this is you turn 


Hello to other newbie scribbles


Hoping to huild a good friendship on here as my last cycle was brilliant got very emotional after my bfp and we all drifted but we all met again on **


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## Sasha1973

Kl totally understand why you cut yourself off for a bit, taking some space and thinking time is a good thing and sounds like you've come up with a plan for your ttc future, I really hope your DE cycle is the one that works for you and you get your dream of a little sibling. I imagine having are the decision you just want to get on with it now. We're all here for you  

Crazy how are you finding this early part of the 2ww? Have you heard how your other little embryos are doing?


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## Crazy_frog

Kl completely understand a break, think we've all done it in one shape or another. Glad you've got your plan and not long til you have those appointments. 
How you feeing Sasha? 
Any news from gp caro?
Hope you're having a lovely holiday Trin. 
Kitten how's your plans for get coming along?
Thanks for the good wishes, we don't hear yet- they'll send letter. But we had best in so not sure we'll get frosties- never have before. Strangely calm and at peace at the moment,weirdness from littlie but it's been odd time for her. Hoping this calm stays, but I doubt it!!


----------



## Kitten 80

Well so far just an appointment but getting very excited got pma atm


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## caro8500

Crazy...congrats on being pupo  Fingers crossed for frosties too (I've also never had frosties and would be over the moon to have any) . great you are feeling calm and chilled currently...would be fab to feel like that for the full 2 weeks. 

KL. Take all the time you need. I've always found it hard to be on FF after an unsuccessful cycle. Sounds like you've made your mind up about DE...something to focus on. Hope the decision keeps you going

Hi Scribbles and kitten welcome aboard. Exciting you both are doing FETs. My son is 4 and 1/2 now so no change of having a sibling close in age, would just be great to have a sibling for him (and a baby for me!) sounds like your DD might be around the same age s my DS Kitten?

Hi to sasha, pen, carter, Trin and anyone else reading

AFM. Finally spoke to GP today who was lovely and happy to do the tests we need saving us around £450. Great news after a rubbish week at work. Bit of a week of ups and downs. Had my last full day (on my day off) with DS who starts school a week tomorrow! Feeling sad how quickly he is growing up but feeling blessed that he's such a lovely, happy boy. 

xx


----------



## Kitten 80

Hi caro yes DD is 4  starts school week after next I'm losing my best friend    she is such a joy to us and a character I so    that I can give her a sibling and bubba for me I can't give up on my embie so precious x


----------



## Sasha1973

Crazy I was just thinking of you and wondering how your 2ww is going? You must be 8dp3dt today I think aren't you, how long until your otd? Thinking positive thoughts for you


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks for thinking of us Sasha.  otd is Sunday. Still sort of calm, trying to not overthink all of it. Sadly no frosties, but best ones are in, hopefully snuggling down. 
Hi to everyone, good luck with appointment this week kl.


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## caro8500

Crazy...glad your still feeling quite chilled. not long to go now! Fingers crossed 

Good luck with your appt with Care tomorrow KL. I'd be interested to hear what your thoughts are after your consultation

Kitten...its scary how quickly they are growing up. Hope school goes ok next week 

Well we had are appt at Care today. Spent an hour and twenty minutes with the consultant so certainly felt we had out consultation fee's worth! Up shot is we are going to do 2 more cycles (to take advantage of there multi cycle discount plan...I'm never one to turn down a bargain!) No major differences of opinion or differences to cycle. May down regulate a bit longer, have slightly higher dose of stimms, and clexane this time (more because that's what they do...he doesn't think immunes are an issue for me) They use CAREmaps (time lapse) as standard but we also had a discussion around Chromosome screening of embryos (and blasts) which they offer at a significant additional costand think would be useful. Was wondering whether anyone else has heard of/used this before. I'm a bit unsure whether this is something we need given that I've only managed one day 5 transfer and and they'd only use it if attempting to grow day 3's onto blast (something I'm really scared about after our only experience of it). Would love to hear anyone else's opinion

Oh and also has anyone got their drugs from ASDA before? He has recommended we do for cheaper option 
x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Caro glad appointment was productive for you. So chromosome screening, I guess is pgd, but I thought (and it's only what I've read on here) does not always get the results back in time for fresh transfer- so I think I'd read that lots of people have it and then do fet. However this may not be the case. 
We have bought drugs from asda in the past, they used to do cost price fertility drugs, but they don't always have them in stock and have to order. I know there are lots of companies now that also deliver drugs to you and think some are cheaper than clinics. 
Thinking of you today kl.


----------



## Crazy_frog

So after feeling ok, not fussed to test and feeling that was good sign. About to do lunchtime cyclogest, noticed some brown mucous, so did preg test. Negative. Just phoned clinic but not good I guess. Feels so unfair and frustrating. Had so hoped to be preggo by due date and Christmas. Gutted.


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Crazy,is there a chance that it's just too early and you may still get a positive on Sunday?


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks Penelope we still have to test Sunday. Guess I shouldn't have got the tests ready.


----------



## Trin Trin

Haven't posted in a while. Crazy sorry to hear you've tested negative:-( This process is definitely unfair with no logic or rationale of when it will work or not. Not sure how many days past transfer you are....my clinic OTD is 14 days past  transfer which is the day they ask you to test. If it's sooner than that then perhaps it's too early....I hope so.

I know how you feel re your previous due date. Mine would have been October 15th and my manager who sits in front of me baby is due on October 5th.....constant reminder:-(

Take care and I hope the result changes for you🙏 x


----------



## Trin Trin

Oops I meant 14 days past collection...sorry x


----------



## Sasha1973

Crazy so sorry to hear you've tested negative, I know your test day isn't until Sunday so maybe hopefully a little early?! I really hope it changes for you. Seems so unfair


----------



## KLconfused

Crazy - really hope you get the right result tomorrow. You said your early test was at lunch time so that could be the reason its negative. 

Caro - it sounds a very positive meeting. When are you going to start again do you think?

Trin - its so hard thinking of what should have been. I should have a 5 month old girl now or be well passed my 20 week scan with another girl. Life would be so different if I was in either of those situations and its very hard to let go. Not sure when/if it passes. Hope you are holding up Ok. Have you decided on your next step yet?

Hi to everyone else.

AFM - meeting at Care Northampton went Ok. The doctor managed to fit us in last minute so we got everything done in a day so that was great as saves us another visit. No pressure to use hubbies sperm. Doc thought my readings and AMH looked Ok and scan fine. She said she would take me on for a cycle with OE but she understands why im switching to DE. She said its hard to say why treatment isn't working for me but my immunes aren't that bad as I have my daughter so most likely eggs but basically she doesn't know. I think ill get the same at the ARGC review. I feel strangely numb about it. I cant really say what I thought. I had such a good feeling at the ARGC and thought they would work magic so now im strangely numb about the next clinic. The people were nice, it was all efficient and thorough, success rates are good for DE and they are very flexible about getting bloods or scans done nearer home if I want - quite a change from ARGC! So were on the DE waitlist. They say 6-8 weeks. Dr seemed optimistic id get another cycle in before xmas. Im not thinking too much about it although I already look at my phone all the time to see if they have called. My biggest fear is that there is something else wrong and even DE wont work. Cant get that out of my mind so in a way I hope it is my eggs that are the problem. 

Take care xx


----------



## Kitten 80

Hi everyone 


So sorry crazy I hope it was to early and you get a good result tomorrow x


AFM appointment with gp went well letter being drawn up and be ready Tuesday x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thank you all ladies, Friday was 14dp collection, so highly doubtful to change. Bleeding started yesterday, didn't test first thing as not likely. We will test today, but it's so unlikely. Feeling all those complicated and weird feelings that go with this.
I know we are lucky to have our daughter and I know we worked hard for her, I just had such wonderful belief we wouldn't have that drama this time (why I don't know!). I know this is all so unfair for all of us, we all want the best outcome and we jump through any hoop we can in our quest for those healthy baby (s). But hey, at least this time it's clear, it could always be worse I guess. 
Gonna go lick our wounds and get review Asap. Wishing all of you the best,


----------



## caro8500

Crazy...so sorry your initial test was negative. Have you tested again today? That emotional roller coaster is not one i'm looking forward to getting back on. The consultant we saw said we'd done well to have one baby from 4 cycles. You'd think once we'd had one pregnancy our bodies would know what to do second time around but I know its not as simple as that. Big hugs x


----------



## Dolphins

Hi ladies 

I can't believe that it has probably been 4 or 5 mths. since I was last on FF, and I must say, it feels good to be back, like I am meeting up with old friends again!  

I hope that you all have been keeping well!    I haven't had a chance yet to look at previous post's, but I will keep up with the latest one's as soon as I get a minute.

I am sorry for the long absence, but a lot has gone on with our son, with his big assessment where all the specialists looked at him, and monitored him playing, being a fortnight ago, and upteen medical professionals visiting us at home to see him, for 4/5 wks. leading up to his assessment.

We have since had it confirmed at his assesment, that he has indeed got 'additional needs' and that he will need a lot of help and support at home, nursery, and when he goes to school.  So it hasn't been a good time for us.

Also, we are going to be doing treatment again this mth. has it has been 7 mths. now since we had our last failed cycle on my 40th birthday, so we felt that the time was right to do it again! It'll be our 6th IVF/ICSI Cycle, and our 2nd FET, and we are desperately hoping and wanting a sibling for our child.

If this tx doesn't work, we'll be going for donor, so this is our last chance to have another child that is genetically our's. 

Anyway! Bye for now, & it's "good to be back!"  

xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Dolphins lovely to see you back. How difficult with all the assessments, but hopefully now your son can be well supported outside of home and hopefully you will get support too. It can't be easy. Best of luck for your next go. 
Thank you ladies for your positivity, but sadly not this cycle. Review on Thursday by phone and then we can make plans for next cycle. Just trying to reserve last sibling sample.


----------



## KLconfused

Dolphins - so glad to have you back. Ive thought a lot about you recently and wandered how you and your little boy are. It seems to have taken quite a while to get all the assessments done but now that's happened I really hope you all get the support you need and you can start to look forwards. I cant imagine how hard this must be for your family and I really hope you get the good news you deserve this cycle. 

Crazy - that's quick for a follow up. I always have to wait a month at ARGC and its frustrating. Its so sad for you and the first week or so after a BFN is the worst but at least your already looking forward to your next cycle. 

Hi to everyone else. Hope alls well?


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks kl, it's odd. I guess its a shock at the moment. We both felt quietly confident, don't know why but it was "ok" cos all seemed to feel right. I guess we were both surprised it all went teapot and it was obviously not what we'd wished for. Yes I'm glad follow up is quick, I guess we are keen to see if we can cycle again before Xmas.


----------



## Sasha1973

Crazy so sorry to hear it hasn't worked out for you this time. You sound really positive though, I think it's good you have a plan of what to do next though


----------



## Trin Trin

Crazy sorry to hear that there was no change with the outcome :-( Especially as you had a good feeling about things this time round. Good to see that your trying to cycle again by Xmas. Having a plan always helps me deal with my sadness, something to focus on. Don't see why not as you do the short protocol. I'm sure this will all confirmed at your review. 

Caro your appointment sounded like all went well. When will you start? Just dawned on me both you and Kl will be at the same clinic.

Dolphins sorry to hear  you've had a hard time with the assessments for your son. Glad though it's clearer what his needs will be as he gets older.

Kl your appointment too sounded positive at Care. Hopefully they will find a suitable match for you soon and that DE will do the trick🙏 hope your beginning to feel a bit better and looking forward to the next step. If I think about the babies I've lost too much it consumes me with upset. I could have a 3 year old, 9 month old or be due in 5 weeks:-(

Anyway, not sure if I shared this on here but the clinic have offered me 25% off a future cycle following my letter. They confirmed I did not ovulate prior to EC but my right ovary had 6 follies but no eggs in them:-(
Had my review yesterday and he said that the last cycle could have been unlucky based on the embryos produced in previous cycles. Obviously mentioned the decline in egg quality as I'm now 40 but said there is no reason why I cannot cycle again with OE. But did say for higher chances of success and taking home a baby the DE should be considered. Explained I would consider but need a suitable match. Well I've decided to go on the DE register plus start a fresh cycle so I will be starting the pill this week. LP so I estimate EC late October early Nov...


----------



## Crazy_frog

Trin I'm really glad all is starting for you. Fingers crossed they won't need that match, but plan b is always a good thing. Hope you're doing ok with the decision, don't mean to sound flippant. X
We do remain positive, I think as much as a kick that the bfn was, it's just not as cruel as loss. Hoping history  repeats itself and its third time again. 
Hi to everyone, sorry I'm rubbish at remembering, seems like it's all gonna get busy over here again. Fingers crossed we all succeed.


----------



## KLconfused

Crazy - your so right that a BFN is crushing but its no where near as devastating as a MC. Hope your review goes well today. 

I cant remember who said on here their consultant told them 1 baby from 4 IVFs was good. I was told that too. But when the baby came from the first IVF (albeit the FET) and I was very ill at the time its hard to see it like that. 

Trin - it sounds like you had a very productive meeting with your clinic and great news your starting again so soon. I always find the time between cycles the hardest. The LP seems very long! 

AFM I occasionally doubt DE as you are all carrying on with OE but me and DH are just shattered, im so angry and stroppy all the time and really really really exhausted. I cant believe I haven't got another good egg but I haven't got it in me to keep going to find it. Im happy with DE I think and there is some relief there. Still waiting for a match. Its a week today since ive been on the list and I feel tense waiting for the phone to ring already!


----------



## Crazy_frog

Kl sounds like you've made right decision for you about DE, I hope that call comes soon. It is the waiting that is the worst. 
Review was fine, nothing they could really say. They've said they'll do assisted hatching next time, simply to throw everything at it, regardless of thickness of eggs. Hoping something will help and third times the charm again for us. So starting pill next cycle and treatment November.
Hi to all those reading.


----------



## stilltrying82

Hi ladies. 

So here's my story. DD is 19 months old and was conceived via IVF in 2013 after 3 years of trying and lots of tests and a laparoscopy. We have just started our new round of IVF, I'm on the short protocol and am on my 3rd day of stims. It's a completely different experience already having a toddler in tow!

I was just wondering if anyone else is cycling around now? 

Wishing everyone good luck...here we go again!!! Xxx


----------



## Trin Trin

Kl I agree with Crazy and to me sounds like you've made the right decision for you re DE. To be honest if there was an available donor at my clinic I think I would be doing DE too. I'm am very nervous about continuing with my OE. I do think there is a good one hiding somewhere it's just when will it reveal itself. I'm als thinking now that this may be my last attempt. I really want to be normal again and fertility is always over my head. I know age shouldnt be my focal point but I didn't want to be trying again over 40. I know it's silly putting an age barrier but what else will make me call it a day. I worry that I will just try and try forever otherwise. Hoping you get a match very soon!! Would u consider meeting your donor while waiting?

Yes the long protocol is very long:-(

Crazy glad you're getting to start again soon too. Really hope the 3rd attempt is your lucky cycle like last time. Treatment in November not too long to go. I'm on week 2 of taking the pill still a way to go before I start injecting etc.

Hi to everyone else x


----------



## Dolphins

Hi ladies  

Just wanted to say that my meds. for my up and coming cycle (FET) came this week, so we'll be in a position hopefully next week to start our 6th cycle of treatment. :/

I must say that I am quite apprehensive about it, as I don't think excited is the word.  We have done it too long now to get too excited about it anymore, particularly when you've had a few failed cycles like we have had in the past.  However! We have still got some hope left that "it may work!" so we'll just have to wait and see.

xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Trin I hope the wait to start doesn't feel too long, it's always hard. 
Dolphins good luck with upcoming cycle. Having the drugs is always when it feels real for me! Hoping 6th time the charm for you. 
How's everyone doing?


----------



## Ava and Thomas

Hi Hun-just wanted to wish you luck
I'm not doing anything at the mo as I'm waiting for tnf retest result but I'm hoping to start in October-please God! Its going to be horrid as this time I'm going to argc as no luck trying to get lucky with a second locally- so its a big daily commute. I have a 3 year old who makes  everything wonderful and I'm  used to dragging him to appts and making it fun but I expect it won't be quite so much fun when I'm on a cycle plus he's started preschool and I don't want him to miss anything- hope you are blessed with another xx


----------



## Carter4

Hi Ladies

How is everyone?

Crazy - So sorry to read about your bfn, you seem pretty philosophical about it? I wish you nothing but the best for your next cycle. Did you manage to reserve your sibling sperm?

Trin - Great news on the £ windfall, too right too! Really hope this OE cycle gives your DD a sibling, and the DE registration becomes null and void. I hear you on the age factor, I was determined not to go past 40 trying.

Dolphins - Good luck with your next cycle. 

Sasha - How are your twinnies coming on? Plenty of movement I bet? How many weeks now? How are you fairing?

caro - How did your DS's first full day at school go? Did you manage to keep your emotions in check? Bonus to gp doing all the tests for you! My buddy used array cgh, for her last successful cycle to get a sibling for her DS. Out of five blasts, only one was chromosomal 'normal' (which resulted in her DS2), food for thought! She was 40 when she gave birth. Like you say though, blasts is key, and she always managed to get to this stage with reasonable numbers. Ps have never used Asda, so can't comment.

KL - Hope your review at ARGC has gone okay today? Any light shed on your last cycle? Hang on in there re DE match, it will be all stations go as soon as that phone does ring!

Hi to any newbies and Penelope if you are still reading  xx

AFM - J & E are 16 weeks old already. J is nearly rolling over, and E is holding her head up well during tummy time.........I sincerely hope you get your dream ladies, surely it must be somebody else's turn now?!


----------



## Crazy_frog

Oh my Carter, 16 weeks that's madness! Guess all changing quick for you now, hope that normality now represent in your house. 
Yes we reserved sibling sperm, last one too. Yeah guess we are pretty chilled about it, it sucks but what can we do? It's a number game this whole thing. We know that all too well. Here's hoping they're in our favour this time.


----------



## HopingAndPraying

Hi ladies 

Can I join you? My journey has been up and down but was blessed with a beautiful DD naturally one month after a failed ICSI at argc! I had hoped that my treatment days were behind me but find myself back again as my hubby has just been diagnosed with low sperm again! When my DD was conceived my DH had successfully overcome sperm issues and got back to normal but not sure what has gone wrong in the last 18 months with his sperm!  

So our journey for a sibling will be back at the Argc! 

Feeling absolutely terrified as with 2 failed cycles under my belt I'm worried about feeling that low again! But the end goal is absolutely worth it! 

Carter your twins sound adorable , 

kl , a fellow argc'r! I'm sorry to have read of your recent result and hope the match with DE comes quickly ! My good friend has 2 beautiful DDs from DE! 

Wishing you all the very best and sorry fir the big rambling post! 

Xxx


----------



## KLconfused

Hi all
Lots of people starting treatment so fingers crossed. 

Trin - did you get a timescale for a donor for you? you have a long cycle ahead anyway so you may have a match by the time that's over although hopefully you wont need it. I completely get you with age. I didn't want to try past 40 but I just kept going. Its sensible to set a cut off but its true that you know when to stop and im there now with DE (well past my cut off). I do occasionally think of OE again but I cant do it so I suppose the time is right to stop OE. I hope this is your last OE go and its successful but if not then I hope you continue to DE as you so deserve another little joyous bundle. 

Had review with ARGC yesterday. He doesn't think immunes are my issue. 6 months and £26k ago they were convinced that was my issue but hayho. He thinks its egg quality. I make a good number of eggs and good quality embryos but they are most likely abnormal. Donor sperm meant we had better embryos but not good enough. I can keep trying and there could be a good one in there and theres nothing they would change in treatment. I guess I wanted someone to tell me move on to DE and he hasn't done that but nearly. I feel devastated. Like a baron fat old lady   I know we were going to DE anyway so it doesn't make sense to be upset. I should be relieved. I think the years of IVF and my crohns episode have damaged my fertility. Its not helped by the fact im finding waiting for a donor so hard. It feels horrid as im a control freak and im at the mercy of a new clinic and a complete stranger. Carter - how did you cope with the waiting for a match? Im literally looking at my phone all day willing it to ring. Its only been 2 weeks waiting so far. Agghhhh.

Were off on holiday Monday for 5 days and I keep thinking well that's another week of the wait over. 

Trin - I did try with my private donor this month but he wasn't available exactly the right time but we tried anyway. AF due any day and i can feel im not pregnant. We have to decide whether to try with him again next month. Im in 2 minds. Well im thinking if it works ill miscarry and potentially lose a match but it likely wont work. But the 2nd month after my failed IVF last year was when I got a BFP with him. But then would it just be a miscarriage again anyway. Not sure what to do yet. 

We decided not to go with the FET that's at ARGC at the moment as the chances are about 20%. Still Ok I suppose but ive had 6 better embryos put back and nothing. So DE first and the FET will be the last thing hopefully after we have another child. 

I so want to be carter now with my girl twins. Lucky lady. Thanks for still following us. Your my inspiration. 

Im thinking I should forget my private donor and focus on Double donor and an egg match. Im starting the couch to 5k today to get fit and lose weight. Ive been dieting 2 weeks and only lost 2lbs which is rubbish and ive honestly been really good. Ive been swimming and 15k steps a day but I need to up it so on to running now. Diets a lot healthier - weve cut out sugar completely in the family. I feel better for it. Ive put on a stone since starting IVF at ARGC in April. All that protein and the steroids and comfort eating after the miscarriage. Im so ashamed of myself 

On a positive note I was just thinking that if it is my eggs that are the problem then DE should work shouldn't it? I know its not as logical as that but im worried theres more wrong and even DE wont work. Im going to struggle even going through DE more than once so It needs to work soon. 

Hi to the newbies, another ARGC'r. Best of luck!


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## Crazy_frog

Hoping, best of luck on your journey. Will you be doing fresh or frozen cycle?
Kl, I guess it's hard to completely draw that line and move to de not helped by waiting for matching. I hope the holiday is a nice break and you may even get your phone call.... Fingers crossed for you.


----------



## HopingAndPraying

Hi crazy 

Thank you , I will be doing a fet and my appointment is late October   I'm not feeling hopeful as had a failed fresh with better quality embryos! I also have immune issues so expecting humira again! 

I'm sorry to read of your last cycle, how are you feeling? What is Ivf lite if you don't  mind me asking? Are you going through treatment again?  

Kl , I'm sorry your review wasn't what you wanted to hear! Was it with Dr R? I think argc would have you keep going and going but at 15k a go and the emotional and physical stress if their bootcamp approach it's a hard thing to do! I hope you get matched soon! When I has my review with argc they said to keep going but deep down I think I have egg quality issues as they start off mediocre by day 3 and become good blasts (I think due to the sperm) but then don't implant! 

They disagreed but who knows! 

Wishing everyone all the very best xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Well I'm guessing if they froze embies they must believe they're good enough quality. I'm never sure how much faith to put on the grading, it just doesn't always equal babie. chin up! Not long now then. 
We're feeling ok, previous was a loss so we were truly better off getting a bfn then going through that again. We're cycling again November time hopefully. Lite means no down reg and low dose stims to hopefully get 4-8 eggs, reduce risk of hyper stimulation. We're a female same sex couple and have lively ovaries which tend to go but crazy on higher doses so anything to reduce risks!


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## HopingAndPraying

Hi crazy 

That lite approach sounds really good , does it preserve quality? Both my attempts I have been near over stimming and really sick but I have got to EC and have lots of embryos but a big drop off rate. With argc a miracle seemed to happen in that I had a few top grade blasts but they didn't implant   so now have a few good ones left , and with the clinic before that I had 2 x 7 cells transferred with nothing to freeze! Another bfn so just don't know if it will ever happen with assisted conception! *need to have a word with myself and stop this negative attitude  * 

I am so sorry for your loss   And pray that you have success in your next cycle!  

Xxx


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## Crazy_frog

That's the idea, fewer but higher quality. Means we've never had Frosties though
It's hard work being positive, but each step as it comes. You know how it all works, you know the process and in this crazy world that's an advantage.


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## Trin Trin

Hi everyone

Carter lovely to hear from you. Can't believe your baby girls are 26 weeks!! I'm sure it was around this time that your you got your bfp. Time really flies.....it really does. Yes the clinic have offered me a discount so let's see what happens. 

Kl - how you doing? It must be so frustrating just waiting for that call from the clinic. Glad you can still meet your donor. I guess you have an element of hope.....it worked before and there's no logic to why it couldn't work again. I hope you haven't got to wait much longer and a suitable match is found ASAP. Hearing what you spent at ARGC just makes me gulp. Fertility clinics I do think take the Micky and abuse us who need their service. It really shouldn't cost this much!! I do worry too about getting pregnant with own eggs will only lead to a loss. I've been pregnant 3 times in 4 years and each one has been a loss. I must be crazy and mad to continue with this!! They goodbye say how long id had to wait. There is a potential match  but there's one other black lady waiting. I wasn't completely happy with the match anyway. My consultant also saw a mixed race lady a few weeks ago who will consider donating her eggs. We'll see....I was really thinking about this being my last but DH wants to try DE if this one fails. Think my 11 year old is putting pressure on us and he feels we have to try whatever we can.

Crazy - You must have started the pill now or be starting soon. You must be looking forward to getting started again. Not that it's something to look forward to but I guess u know what I mean.

Hope and Praying - welcome it's lovely to have newbies joining us. Try and keep positive I'm sure I read that your little one was conceived naturally. Will you be starting in October too?

Dolphins. How are you getting on?

AFm I'm still taking the pill and stop st the weekend and down regging starts....had the scrape yesterday and have the timetable for scans, predicted EC etc. As I thought its estimated for end of Oct. Not taking extra supplements this time just pregnacare conception. I'm just taking one day at a time......x


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## Crazy_frog

Trin I was wondering how you are getting on, pleased to hear all is starting for you and hopefully you feel positive. Hoping all comes together for you and you're donor is found just as all is ok with own eggs. Everything crossed for you. 
Kl, I hope you're ok and wait not driving you too crazy. Hope holiday was lovely. Fingers crossed for you. 
Hoping, I hope you're ok and feeling a bit more positive. 
Dolphins I hope all going well for you with starting cycle. 
Caro, how you holding up at the moment?
We're just waiting to start pill, probably next week. Thanks Trin for remembering (amazing memory!). Yes we're excited and hopeful. Still each day as it comes, still worrying how to break it to manager.....ah well wait and see.


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## Dolphins

Hi ladies  

I just wanted to let you know that today was the day that I started my 6th Cycle. Yaaaaaaay!    

It's medication first for a bit, and then injections later. So a bit of a slow introduction cycle at first, but then time for the stinging jabber's!

Hope everyone is alright.

xxx


----------



## Dolphins

Hi ladies  

Just thought that I would give you a quick update. It is now my 3rd day of my 6th cycle, and at the moment I am not feeling too bad on the medication, as my IBS normally flares up with IVF medication, but so far so good, just an awful cold to content with.

Anyway! What's bigger news at the mo. is that my 25 mth. (23 mth. adj.) son has "finally" started to walk OMG!!!!!!!!               

He has been able to take a few independent steps for some time now, but hasn't been able to walk from one side of the room to another, but as from Fri. on the day I commenced my 6th cycle he has been walking up and down our living room a few times.    I have waited a couple of days to share this news as he normally regresses, and has been recently confirmed by specialists that he has got global developmental delay (he his significantly developmentally delayed in all of his milestones), and as autistic traits, so any progress with him is a MASSIVE step.  So, I am so happy that he can do this!

Also, my boy had an MRI scan under a general last week, so we'll be hopefully finding out the result's this week from the peadiatrician, so wish us luck please!

Anyway! Hope you are all alright, and bye for now. 

xxx


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## KLconfused

Dolphins - that's great news about your son. Such a happy moment for you. And on starting the treatment aswell. Really hope its a winner. 

Trin - your right I think the clinics do take us for a ride. when you look at what it costs the NHS per cycle its no where near what the clinics charge so there is a big profit in it for them. I have to admit I would have given ARGC anything as I really thought they would work for me. I think they know that's how most people feel and you really do hand a card over every day with little idea how much it will be in total. The thought now of another £1000 for immunes and £120 for bloods and £120 for a scan before I even know if I can carry on with the FET (and £400 for intralipids and then another £750 for more immunes tests) makes my blood run cold and that's a large part of why we wont do the FET now. The faith in it working has gone and that makes it so much harder to hand over the money. 

It seems like your cycle is progressing and you only have about 4 weeks until EC and that will fly by hopefully and you can have a xmas BFP 

Hi to everyone else. 

AFM 3.5 weeks so far waiting for DE call. Still watching the phone all the time. I haven't the energy to hassle the clinic as I did once and they didn't tell me anything new so im trying to be patient. Just had a short break at centreparcs which was lovely as daughter is 29 months now so could do a lot of the activities. I feel a bit more relaxed after the holiday. I did ttc with my private donor last month but it didn't work. Ive just contacted him and said im not going to try with him anymore. Im almost sure its the right decision. Ive started running again and healthy eating and im going to concentrate on getting thinner and fitter and enjoying my daughter before the madness starts again. And im going to dye my hair and paint my nails for the first time in nearly 4 years as ive been too worried it would effect an early pregnancy to do it before!


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## Crazy_frog

Dolphins how lovely that you're little boy is on the move! I bet you're proud as anything of his latest milestone. Hope the appointment with paed goes ok. Good luck with the cycle, hope meds are kind to you.
Kl, glad you've treated yourself with hair and nails, sometimes it's good to just do stuff for you. Sounds like your break was lovely. Remain hopeful you get that call soon. 
Hi to all


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## Dolphins

Hi ladies  

I am now on what I am calling is the "2nd Stage of Treatment", where I have upped my tablets, ready for my first scan of monitoring this Tuesday, to see the thickness of my lining.

I'm on day 6 on my treatment cycle altogether, and have been suffering so far with bad headaches and it has also flared my IBS up, which is just FANTASTIC "not!" 

I am on steroids for the first time with this treatment, then I will be taking Clexane and Prontogest injections later on, and I am also on a low dose of aspirin, and something to help with my uterine lining.

Anyway! Me and my fiance had a lovely romantic meal tonight after celebrating 16 yrs. together since we first met.  So I think that in this day and age, we have done well to stay together for so long.   I just hope that we'll have even more joyous news to celebrate very soon!    

Bye for now.

xxx


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## Dolphins

Hi ladies  

I am one day off Stage 3 of my FET, where I up my meds. again to 3 times daily, and 3 days away from having my scan to check my uterine lining. However, I know you ladies will probably tell me to think positively, but this cycle, I am just not thinking very positively about it working at all, esp. when it is "same old!" However! There is always hope, and that's what's keeping me going with it, but not looking forward to having the injections again. 

Hope you are all well, and good luck on your journey's wherever you are on them.       

Bye for now.

xxx


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## caro8500

Dolphins...how did your scan go? Hope your cycle is going to plan. Congratulations its lovely that your son is on the move

KL...How's the hair and nails?...sometimes its just the simple things that make us feel normal again after life revolving none stop around treatment. Hope you hear re your match soon.

Trin...How's the down reg going? How you feeling about this cycle? 

Crazy...where are you up with things?

AFM. Frustrated and a bit down at the moment. Been having quit a lot of pain issues and difficult decision where to go from here. Think its endo on my bowel that is causing the problems so options are lap or IVF. Think we are going to push on with the IVf and try to manage pain as best we can. I know it will take 6 months plus wait for a lap, then recovery time and in my head my next lot of surgery will be to manage the endo...not for fertility reasons as don't want to be back at square one in another year if that makes sense. Anyway should be starting down reg end of next week with egg collection around end of November I think. Not been overly impressed with Care so far. Staff nice but took 4 weeks to get our protocol! 

xx


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## Crazy_frog

Sorry to hear you're in lots of pain Caro, hope you manage to get that under control. Exciting to be almost starting though, fingers crossed for you. Sorry you've had such long wait from the clinic, but hope all will go well now. 
Kl how's the waiting going?
Trin, hope your cycle going ok
Dolphins any news for you?
We're just waiting to start the pill for cycle next month. Stupid witch, early when you don't want her and late when you do!! Frustrating.


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## Dolphins

Hi ladies  

I just wanted to update you all about my monitoring scan that I had yesterday.  The scan went ok, and the drugs are doing what they should be doing, but I am responding slowly to the drugs, I don't why, maybe it's because of my age or something, but they want me to come in for another scan on Monday, as my endometrial lining is currently 7 mm. but they would like it to be at least 8 mm or above, before they can consider transfer.

Therefore, I have to continue with the same amount of meds. that I was on just before I had my scan yesterday, and go into clinic again on Monday.

Good luck for everyone else's journey's.

Bye for now.

xxx


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## KLconfused

Dolphins - I was told a slow response can be better for the egg quality so fingers crossed on that front. I wont tell you chin up as you said we would! I really don't think it makes any difference whether you think the cycle will work or not, it certainly hasn't made any difference to me. Every step is a step nearer baby 2 so we just have to keep going.

Caro - so sorry to hear your having a hard time of it. I cant remember how old you are to know if you have time on your side or not but I think regardless of age IVF tends to take priority over everything. I really hope you can manage the pain and this cycle makes it all worth while. I am concerned about what you said about Care. Im having real wobbles about them myself!

Trin - hope your OK 

Crazy - hope your enjoying the calm time between cycles. Definitely a challenge!

AFM 5 weeks tomorrow since been on the DE wait list and I was quote 6-8 weeks. Im feeling calmer but also a bit concerned about care Northampton as im not hearing good things at the moment. I pestered my husband to try somewhere else but he said I need to be patient - not really my strong point but im trying. My running is going well and im 3 weeks in now and jeans are looser. Sugar free diets also good. A few treats but really not many. Lots of lovely days out with my daughter. Im determined the enjoy the next 11 months until she goes to preschool and I don't have her all to myself every day. 

Hi to everyone else xx


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## caro8500

Crazy.. thanks I'm pleased to finally be getting going. We might be cycling around the same time then depending on your schedule?

Dolphins. I've always had slow growth and its rubbish when you just want to get to the next stage but you will get there eventually 

KL...maybe try ringing them. We had to do a lot of chasing which isn't what I expected and there's just a few little things that they have got wrong (costings etc) which again I'm not very impressed with. Having said that they are offering a slightly different protocol with higher stimms and clexane where as our original clinic would only offer exactly the same, which was the main reason for me trying somewhere else. I have no idea whether the change in protocol and doses will help (or hinder) but I just felt we needed to try something bit different. Finding the travel a pain in the butt already though. 4 hour round trip today and didn't make it back in time to collect my son from school which I'm a bit gutted about as only get to do it once a week. Nevermind


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## KLconfused

Caro - ill have a 4 hour round trip too and im dreading it already so I feel your pain. Im glad you've ironed out the problems with care though so you can get going. 

I did ring Care yesterday and a nurse said she is sure I will be matched in the next 3 weeks and get a cycle in before xmas. ill try to stop worrying about care as they returned my call and have been Ok with me so far. I feel strangely numb about the impending match and im having a wobble. Should I just accept 1 daughter and give up as my eggs are rubbish? I always have a wobble before treatment but I thought id be excited by a match and im not. Whenever they talk about characteristics of a donor its like a kick in the gut. I worry what im letting myself in for again. Im so enjoying being relaxed about things at the moment. Im scared of getting on the rollercoaster again but im not ready to completely stop the ride! Maybe when I hear the details of the donor ill feel better. 

Hi to everyone else xx


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## Crazy_frog

Dolphins I hope you're doing ok and the scan tomorrow is good news. Fingers crossed for you. 
Caro, yes should be similar time for us both. Hope the travel gets easier for you, or just another part of it. And hopefully appointments can be fit round school run, it's definitely different the second time around. 
Kl, hope these last few weeks fly by and you get your news soon. Fingers and toes crossed it doesn't take another 3 weeks. 
Trin you must be on the stims now, or soon, hope all going well for you. 
Carter hope all good with your family. 
Sasha, hope you're feeling well, can't be too long to go now. How are you coping?
We continue to wait on the damn witch, so frustrating and just want to get going. She's gotta come soon surely!!


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## Dolphins

Hi ladies  

Today is Day 17 of my 6th Cycle of treatment, 2nd FET, and for the 2nd Sunday in a row, my stomach still feel's like it is doing somersaults.    

However! There is no rest for the wicked, as I've got a 2 yr. old to look after, and travelling to Huddersfield tonight to see the Live movie experience of the film: 'The Suffragettes', and then to Manchester tomorrow for our scan, so no let up really! Then hopefully, once we have our scan tomorrow, we'll have a better idea when the transfer is going to be.  It will be some time this week, as my endometrial lining should be thick enough by tomorrow.  

However! I'm feeling quite nervous and scared at the mo. that transfer will be coming up this week, as I know how attached you'll get when your embryo is transferred, and the grief and emotions that are involved when it doesn't work! As I suppose I am wanting to protect myself from it, as I have experienced it not working, too many times now.   However! "You have to be in it, to win it! So they say!" So, I'll better "throw" myself, right into it again, emotions and all! Just not feeling really positive, and optimistic that it's going to work.

Anyway! Hope you are all alright, on this cold, dry Sunday!

I'll update you on the scan tomorrow. Wish us luck!  

xxx


----------



## Carter4

KL - I struggled waiting for the call too, and wasn't averse to pestering Care occasionally. Just felt like it kept me on their radar! Can I help with eliminating any fears that you have about Care? Re kick in the gut, I used to feel that way too, and it wasn't really until the donor was out of the picture that I felt better about things. I just disliked the constant reminder. I have no guilt for saying that, and just wanted to crack on.

Trin - How is your cycle going?

caro - The efficiency of the admin side of things at Care can be lacking sometimes, but hopefully you will get your second take home baby through them. We did complain at one point, but also had faith in them if that makes sense?!

Dolphins - Good luck with your scan tomorrow, and great news on your lb walking.

Crazy - Hope your AF shows soon, how frustrating for you.

Love to you all, I'm keeping my eyes peeled for that next bfp! xx


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## Sasha1973

Klconfused how are things with you, have you heard anything regarding your donor yet? The waiting part is always the hardest, hopefully you'll hear something very soon so you can start your next cycle  

Trin how is your cycle going? You must be nearing stimming by now if not there already, I hope it's all going to plan for you  

Crazyfrog I hope the witch rears her ugly head for you soon, she never arrives when you want her to and vice versa does she!

Caro I hope the endo isn't making you feel too bad and that you're all ready for your next cycle. 

Carter how are your girls? Does your eldest love having little sisters? Can't believe how quickly time has passed they must be getting so big now. 

Hi to anyone I've missed

I'm doing ok, no major problems thankfully, had a growth scan last week and both twins are estimated at just over 2 lbs each now with just a couple of oz's separating them. Also got csection date booked as both currently breech so on countdown now and can't wait to meet them. I hope we'll be seeing lots more BFP's on this thread again soon xxx


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## Carter4

Good to see your update Sasha.

When is your cs booked for? Will you change your mind and go au naturale if t1 moves to head down?

I hankered after a vaginal birth, but having those few contractions before I was whisked off for my cs, was a stark reminder of the stamina needed. Mind you they kicked in fast and hard without any pain relief!


----------



## Crazy_frog

So the witch appeared finally!! Phoned the clinic and they've offered us to go right ahead this cycle. A little taken aback but I think we both feel just get on and avoid December birthday etc for testing. Hoping and trusting this cycle is gonna be our time. 
Sasha so pleased all good for your girlies. Nice to be on the countdown, hope all goes well for last bit. When's your date?


----------



## Carter4

Hurrah to AF putting in an appearance Crazy, and great news that you can get going sooner rather than later, how fab.


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## Crazy_frog

Thanks Carter, scan Thursday. Drug delivery tomorrow and then each step as it comes.


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## Sasha1973

Crazy excellent that the witch has arrived! Fingers crossed for a smooth and successful cycle for you. 

Carter I'm booked in for 18th December I'll be 37+2 then so don't know if I might go into labour sooner anyway, how many weeks were you when you delivered? I'm happy with a section to be honest even if twin 1 does turn because my little boy ended up being a csection anyway and my recovery was good so I'm happy to do it again.


----------



## Dolphins

Hi ladies  

Had my 2nd monitoring scan yesterday at the clinic, and disappointedly, and quite worringly, my endometrial lining is 'still' mostly 7mm, with only 1 measurement out of about 5 that they took being 8mm, and after my first scan, the nurse said that the Dr. would like it to be 8mm or above.

This for me is disappointing, and is worrying, as I was worried sick after the scan, as this is the last go with us using my OE, so the last thing that we need is a thinner endometrial lining.

I have read somewhere that say's that if treatment is going to work, the thicker the endometrial lining as to be, so 7 mm is quite thin.  Therefore, to optimise my chances, the Dr has increased my steroids from 1 mg  a day to 2 mg a day, which has caused me no heap of problems today, with my gut's doing 'double somersaults' now, and I have been feeling sick.

Therefore, our Embryo Transfer is going to be next week now, instead of this week, but I have requested an extra scan before my transfer on Fri. at 12 noon, to help to reassure my mind that my endometrial lining is looking better then it was yesterday.  However the Dr. has said that they will still do the transfer now if the lining is 'still' 7 mm by Fri. The nurse has said, that if the Dr. was at all concerned about it just being 7 mm, then the Dr. would have cancelled the cycle.  But I know that some of you ladies would appreciate 'our concern' esp. as this will be our last cycle of using our OE. and we want to optimise our chance's. 

Has anyone else had a embryo transfer with a thinner endometrial lining, and gone on to have a successful cycle? If so, what happened?

Anyway! I am hoping that this is a good omen but our Embryo Transfer is now scheduled for Monday 19th October 2015, which ironically is the date that we celebrated our son's 1 yr. adj. age exactly a year ago on that date by having a 'Naming Day for him.'  So I think that this is a "happy coincidence" to be PUPO on that date, even if it doesn't end up sticking! So how good is that? 

Anyway! I start my injections of Clexane and Prontogest tomorrow, as well as my tablets, so I will see how I feel when I am on that lot! I hate having IBS on top of having to have treatment, as the meds. always cause me bad side effects.

Anyway! Hope that you are all alright, and bye for now.  

xxx


----------



## Carter4

Ooooh just in time for Christmas Sasha. My waters broke at 35w5d, but I think that was to do with J having iugr, so hopefully you should be fine. What are you now, roughly 28 weeks? My recovery was rubbish following my cs, meh.

Dolphins - I've had two ex cycle buddies, cycle for a fet with an endometrial lining of 6mm, and both have been successful. I know the optimum is supposed to be higher, but clearly it can be done. Good luck to you.


----------



## Sasha1973

Carter yes really hoping to be home with the little ones for Christmas Day and there's no reason why I wouldn't as they'll be classed as full term by then. I'll be 28 weeks tomorrow so only just over 9 weeks to go at the most, I'm really looking forward to it now I can't wait to meet them and see if they look like my little boy or not


----------



## Crazy_frog

Oh dolphins it's hard when you're waiting and hoping. Hopefully extra steroids will help and lining will get better ready for transfer. We also like cycles with date connections. Our cycle with dd, test date was our anniversary and the start of our holiday. So perhaps it'll be a lucky date for you. 
Sasha that's not long at all! Definitely should be all good for big family Christmas. That's my dw birthday, so one of the dates we were trying to avoid drama on.


----------



## Dolphins

Hi ladies  

I'm feeling nervous at the mo. as I will be taking injections again tonight, so I am in a bit of trepidation, as it's been 8 mths. now since my last cycle, and my last lot of injections.  I don't mind seeing the injections, after all I'm a nurse, but it just make's the cycle more real for me, instead of just taking tablets, and it's my first day of taking the awful Calcichew, which I am currently sucking on at the mo. which is just disgusting.    And I've got to take these twice a day now!  

Also, I am meant to be on Slimming World, but I am forever hungry on these steroids, and they are upsetting my gut's no end!   

On a more positive note! It is getting ever closer to my scan again on Fri. to check if my lining is any better!   I am sincerely hoping it is!  

Anyway! Bye for now, and wish me the best of luck with both of my injections tonight.  : 

xxx


----------



## Trin Trin

Hi everyone

Lots of chat on here recently and lovely to hear from Carter keeping an eye on us still trying to fulfil our dreams. Sasha not long to go...you must be sooo excited and relieved this chapter of your life will soon be over. 18 December is two days before my birthday!! I reckon you'll definitely be home with your girls before Xmas. How lovely will that be!!

Dolphins - hope you're feeling better, not long now until your transfer.

Caro - how's things? When will you be starting?

Crazy - Glad to hear your AF arrived. So annoying that when you don't want it it comes and when you do it's delayed!! Well it's all starting again for you now so fingers crossed for this cycle!

Kl - I can only imagine how hard it is waiting for the call.... I know I would feel exactly the same if I was in your shoes. I do think all your feelings about DE will totally disappear once you're pregnant. Although I had the same feeling when discussing the characteristics of possible matches for me. Silly but I wish you could see a photo, like you can when choosing sperm from sperm banks. I dunno....just hope you receive the call soon.

Afm - Today is my due date and to top it off my managers wife is being induced today. I still feel quite attached and emotionally weak when I think about what could have been etc. But I guess one has to move forward and put my feelings to one side. I'll never forget my angel babies....

Anyway I started stimming on Monday, all is well considering I've been a pin cushion for nearly 3 weeks. Just going with the flo really. Sometimes feel I'm immune to meds as apart from hot sweats and mild headaches I've felt okay. EC is estimated for Monday 26th but we'll see....can't lie I'm nervous about EC...the outcome and the procedure due to my last experience. We're definitely doing DE if this cycle is not a success then I'm finished with it all......realised I can't go on forever xx


----------



## Dolphins

Well ladies! I started my injections once again yesterday! And I "really had to psyche myself up to do it! Has I really didn't want to do it!" Has it's been so long since I did my last cycle, and every cycle you do doesn't make it any easier.   

Anyway! It should be easier tonight, now I have got my first lot of injections out of the way! It can only get better from here!

Nearly my scan time again tomorrow! But before this, I will be lighting a candle tonight for "Infant & Pregnancy Loss Day" which is today, when people will be paying their respects to women, couples and or families like myself, who have lost a pregnancy, as I had an early miscarriage as a result of my 1st Cycle 3 yrs. ago now. And I 'still' wonder, what could have been,  plus, we so very nearly lost our son. So, I'll be lighting a candle tonight at 7 p.m. I hope that some of you ladies will be able to join me in doing this.

Hope everyone else is alright, and bye for now.

xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Trin really glad to hear all been well for you. Best of luck with the stims, here's hoping for a better collection. 
Dolphins glad injection ok and best of luck for scan tomorrow and that you're ready for transfer. 
Scan today ok, ovary slightly high on left. So have to hope it drops with growing follies.


----------



## KLconfused

Dolphins - I didn't know it was loss day yesterday. When I read it it made me think of my 2 little girls. I go through the what ifs all the time. 
Glad you got the first injections out the way. They are horrid but I always hope I have to do them for ages after a BFP! The more cycles you do the harder It gets I think. Im the same as you 4xICSI/IVF and 2 X FET so I know how tired you feel. Fingers crossed for your scan today. I really don't think the lining will be a problem. There are 'optimal' measures for everything in IVF and I didn't hit any of them when I had my daughter. 

Sasha - babies home for xmas. Your soooooooo lucky. Really happy for you. exciting times. 

Crazy - My left ovary was always high but came down with follicles so I think its all normal. Nice you can get this cycle done so quickly as its hard waiting. 

Trin - its totally understandable your nervous of ec. I found telling myself it was the last time I ever have to do it made it easier. Im sure the clinic will make sure the same problem doesn't happen again. I know youll be nervous about the number of eggs and fertilisation and we all are. I hate waiting for that call. We will all be giving you a virtual hug on those days 
I agree too about 1 DE try. I too am fragile from past experience. DE is a new chapter but I have carried all the baggage with me from OE so im still exhausted. Im not sure I could go through DE a second time although im much more confident ill get a baby now. But one step at a time. you've got near to the nitty gritty with this cycle and hopefully this will be the last cycle you ever need. 

Caro - how are things with you?

How are the newbies doing to our thread too? 

Carter thanks for putting my mind at rest. I remember the booking in appointment with the midwife last year and telling her it was donor sperm. She looked at me like I was an alien. I dread having to explain donor egg and sperm (if I get that far). It is a kick in the gut every time I think of a donor and its nice to know that passes. Im not worrying about Care too much now. I haven't the energy and I think no clinic is perfect. If I haven't a donor by xmas we will try somewhere else I think but not sure where. 
Im dreading all the driving and appointments. I want to get on with it but at the same time im not sure I have the energy to do it. Im also doing my running still and im 4 weeks in so nearly half way in the 9 week plan. I can run 16 mins out of 25 now. I haven't weighed myself but people tell me im losing weight. Id really like to get to the end of the 9 week plan. I know the clinic will say not to run during treatment. But I don't have any choice either way really and I think it takes quite some time even when im matched before I get started. 

Carter - do you know if your donor did the long or short protocol? I think if they do the long one ive already missed a cycle before xmas. 

AFM - 6 weeks and 1 day waiting. Not looking at my phone so much every day but I still jump when the phone rings and its usually a PPI cold caller. agghhh. Another lady I know announced her pregnancy yesterday. So hard. My daughter is obsessed with babies and points them out everywhere we go. 

Good luck today dolphins.


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## Carter4

Trin it's good to hear from you sweetie. Rejoice in the fact that side effects are minimal!I think you've had your 'duff' EC experience, and all will run smoothly this time, at least I certainly hope so. Keep us posted, as I so want to celebrate in your bfp and beyond x

Crazy when is your next scan? x

KL I promise it does pass. Not to say that it ever completely goes, but it does get buried with day to day life taking over, and that's exactly how I like it. Well done on your fitness regime, that is how my DH started out a couple of years ago, and he is now running half marathons. We were both on the long protocol, but you've got a few days scope (admittedly not much), as I squeezed through a few years ago with the cut off being 25/10. Maybe nicer not to have a 2ww hanging over you at christmas time x

Hi to everyone else xx


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Hi all. Just wanted to pop on quickly to say I'm still lurking in the background reading your posts and checking on how you're all doing. Wishing everyone the best of luck for upcoming cycles and really hoping to read of some bfps before xmas.

Kl, the waiting must be torturous for yo. I truly hope you get that call soon and if you can't get to cycle before Christmas that you can start 2016 with your long awaited bfp. 

Xxxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Dolphins thinking of you today, hope all good. 
Kl, hopefully that call will be soon. Fingers crossed for your cycle to begin soon. It's harder when little ones point bumps and babes out, especially with that feeling of what could be. Hope your worries settle down a little about de once you have the donor info. 
Carter,Penelope and Sasha, I really appreciate you guys checking in on us, I'm all up for as many cheerleaders as I can get!!
Left ovary has been high last time too, so we're hopefully it'll shift about with stims. Clomid started today, gonal on Tuesday and scan Friday.


----------



## Dolphins

Hi ladies  

Bad news from today's scan by the way, as it transpires that my endometrial lining today is 6 mm - 7 mm, and measure's thinner then what it was on Monday's scan.  So the Dr. had a chat with us today, to discuss options.

One option is to cancel the cycle now, and to take eostrogen patches throughout the cycle next time.
Second option is to take eostrogen patches now, and go ahead with the Transfer on Monday.
Or the third option is to take eostrogen patches now, and have a scan on Monday morning before making a decision whether to have the Embryo Transfer later on that day.

Therefore, we have opted for the most attractive 3rd Option, as we don't really want to cancel at this point in time, but we are still facing that the cycle may after be cancelled on Monday.   

I don't know how much these patches will be able to help between now and Monday, as this is a form of HRT treatment, and normally given to post menopausal women, but we will keep everything crossed, and we'll see.     

Basically, the Dr. told us today, that he think's that the preterm c-section that I had to have my son has comprimised my uterine lining, so because I had to have a section, it has scuppered my future chances a bit. "If it doesn't rain, it pour's so they say." So please wish me luck that these patches work, and that the scan show's up good news for me on Monday, and that we can have the Embryo Transfer on Monday.

Bye for now.  

xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Dolphins sorry to hear scan wasn't good news. Hopefully the patches help over the weekend. X


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## KLconfused

dolphins - sorry the news wasn't better. fingers and toes crossed for a positive scan Monday. Its such a trial just to get to a 2ww sometimes!!

Carter - I was ok to wait until after xmas but now it seems that I will have to im annoyed with Care. Right from the first appointment they have told me their sure ill get a cycle in before xmas. Seems I have to start next week for that to happen. Ill ring Monday and clarify so I can get my mind around it. When I look back over the years of IF all the waiting has been soo hard but it all passed. So if we have to wait we have to I just wish they had set my expectations that way. Im concerned about starting in Jan as the LP seems so long that could be March before ET. That seems forever! And a long time to risk the donor pulling out.


----------



## Carter4

KL I apologise for not conveying myself correctly. The cut off date I stated means no further ET's before Christmas. When I cycled that time of year I had mine on the 19/12. You will still be able to start before the festive period, just means ET will be after Christmas or Care may have to coast you at the DR stage, but to be fair there is a lot of that when doing a donor cycle, as they try to sync both ladies together. Hope this makes sense? x


----------



## caro8500

Just wanted to say hope for good new tomorrow Dolphins

Day 3 of down reg for me. Still not feeling great and in 2 minds whether to go ahead. Scan on 11th Nov when I'll make my decision. Half term break with family for Halloween fun first which I'm determined to enjoy.

Sorry its short.... x


----------



## Dolphins

Thanks Caro8500  I "really" appreciate it, and good luck on your cycle.       

Thanks also to Crazy Frog and KLConfused regarding your concerns for me about my cycle.

I am hoping to be on here tomorrow saying that "I'm PUPO!" and be on the 2ww thread.  So keeping everything crossed!         

Hello to everyone else that I have missed. 

Bye for now.

Will keep you updated tomorrow reg. if I have had my transfer or not.

xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Dolphins, hope all good today and you're pupo. Let us know how you get on. 
Caro, sorry you're still unsure about treatment. Hope a good break gets you in a better place. 
Trin hope meds are kind. 
Kl hope wait is still ok, any joy with chasing them or cut off?
Hey to everyone who I missed!


----------



## Dolphins

Hi ladies  

Thanks for your best wishes. YES!!!!!! I'm officially PUPO!!! What a rollercoaster this cycle has been.

Anyway! A yr to the day since it was my son's Naming Day must have been a good omen after all.   

My OTD is only in 10 days time 29th Oct. 15 so not too long to wait.

However! I've been resting tonight, as I have been bleeding after transfer and experiencing minor cramping. So the clinic has told me to rest for today.

Anyway hope you ladies are alright.

Bye for now.

Sorry for no personals.

xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Oh dolphins so pleased for you. Roller coaster cycles are always hard, but you're there! Just take it easy, look after yourself and all the very best for next bit. X


----------



## Kitten 80

Hi everyone it's been a while since last on afm just an update really I've had my appointment at barts and had my scan all is ok to start straight away on a natural FET so just waiting for invoice 




I will now read back on everything I've missed since last post x


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## KLconfused

Dolphins - congrats on being in your 2ww and a short one is good too. So pleased for you and fingers crossed. 

Trin - how are you doing as you must be getting near EC now?

Caro - why the doubts? Is it because of having treatment for the endo instead and the pain that causes?

Hi to everyone else. 

AFM - rung the clinic to chase again yesterday as its now been 7 weeks waiting. Nurse said im 4th in the list for my criteria. Ive moved up from 8th. So I said theres no way ill get a match then in a week and cut off for treatment start with ET this year is Oct 28th. She didn't want to say bluntly but im definitely looking at next year for a match. Donors slow down over xmas too so if I don't get matched until Jan it could be March for ET. I told her I was really annoyed as all the way through id been promised a cycle this year and weve left it too late to go anywhere else before xmas and weve paid them £800 based on the 6-8 weeks we were told. She said I should stick with them blah blah blah. Their website says no wait list and she said they will have to change that. She said they are waiting for the taller donors to come in as all 4 of us want over 5'6. (im 5'7). It makes me feel they will chuck any woman over 5'6 with brown hair at me when I get to the top of the list. Anyway I was in floods of tears. Its not just the wait. ive had my phone on me at all times, jump everytime it rings in case its a match and all that time I was no where near getting a match. Ive cried and cried and thought about options. I could do the FET at ARGC but hubbie and me just had a big argument as IVF always makes us argue through the stress of it. He said we stay with Care or give up and were not doing the FET now as it likely wont work anyway. So we have to try and enjoy xmas. Im so frustrated and im having second thoughts about carrying on. I have doubts about donor but the process itself is making it seem worse. Theres only so much disappointment one person can take I think. Also xmas is 2 years since we started TTC for #2. Im so tired of it and ive had enough. I can see a day coming now without a baby #2. Sorry to rant. Just so frustrated. I feel every decision ive made since we found out about my husbands problem 7 years ago has been the wrong one and lifes been overtaken for the last 8 years with IF. Id like to be able to think about something else


----------



## Crazy_frog

Kl, so sorry to hear you're still waiting and unclear messages from the clinic. I can understand your frustration and mixed feelings. If is definitely hard on us all, partners have different concerns and worries I think and sometimes that makes it a challenge. I hope you mange to work it out soon and can be back supporting each other. Christmas is a tough time of year, generally and hopefully you'll be able to enjoy some family time together.


----------



## Trin Trin

Hi everyone

Dolphins so glad you're now in the 2ww. Hope it's going okay less than a week to go now!!

Crazy - How's it going for you, the beginning part can feel quite slow. How long will you be on the pill for?

Caro -  hope you're feeling a bit better about cycling?

Kl - So sorry to hear what you're going through. Clinics shouldn't advertise and promote waiting times when it's clear they have no real control of ensuring the times they predict can be met. Are they able or prepared to reimburse or provide you with some kind of credit due to them not fulfilling their selling point to you. You chose the clinic based upon the wait time they promote. Such a shame and a disappointment. These trying times will also affect and test our relationships, especially when things aren't going to plan. I understand why you would want to change clinic, but you've waited so long and paid the fee it would almost be a waste starting again. Not surprised you've been so emotional. You just want to get going again and it's frustrating that its not in your control. I hope you'll feel better soon, prepare for Christmas and try to enjoy the festivities looking forward to a fresh start to all of this in the New Year. I too started this journey almost 2 years ago...4 fresh cycles and a frozen, and 2 miscarriages and heartbreak to show for it. 

Afm - I'm feeling relatively okay....EC will be on Wednesday, had scan today and they would like some of my follies to catch up and grow. So still stimming tonight, Sat and Sun. Praying for a better experience with EC than last time 🙏


----------



## Crazy_frog

Trin glad you're feeling ok and fingers crossed those folicles catch up. Egg collection must be better this time, we also had a dodgy one and last time was much better. So I'm sure the clinic will look after you. 
We didn't use pill and when period came, the clinic allowed us to start. We also had scan yesterday (after clomid and 2 days of stims) and all looking ok so far. Back for another scan Monday. Hoping the left ovary moves down with folicles growing, at the moment it's a tricky place. 
Hope all ok with everyone.


----------



## Trin Trin

Sorry Crazy I clearly haven't been keeping up. The SP seems so short which is great!! How long do you stim for? 2 weeks? Glad to hear scans went okay and all is looking good. Have a great weekend everyone......x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Don't worry, it was the original plan to use pill!! Usually it's about a week of gonal after 5 days of clomid so it really is pretty short. I'm guessing egg collection prob Friday but some wiggle room and coasting if need to. We're taking each day as it comes, well scan!! 
Currently worrying (over nothing no doubt!) about orgalutron injections and the clocks going back tonight....seriously! Crazy is about right at the minute.


----------



## Trin Trin

Oh my it is quick. EC on Friday!! We'll be in our dreaded 2ww together all being well...we all worry about something or another during this process. I'm sure the clocks going back won't affect the timings of injections etc.


----------



## Dolphins

Hi ladies  

Sorry for no personals tonight, but I have been on a training course all day today, and I'm on one all day tomorrow, so I am feeling quite shattered at the mo. However! Thanks ladies for all of your best wishes.      I did just want to say one thing to KLConfused, as you have been quite supportive towards me, and to say that it is just awful that the clinic is keeping you waiting, as I know what it feel's like to psyche yourself up to do another cycle, the last thing that you want or need is to be waiting for more mths, when all you want to do is start now.  Big hugs to you!    

Anyway! I felt quite upset this morning, and could have cried, as I really felt that my   was on it's way, as my period is due to come on around about now, and I was experiencing pains in my stomach like it was, in fact it started yesterday morning, if I was perfectly honest! Therefore! I know it's not over yet, as I haven't started bleeding again, so that's good news, and my OTD isn't until Thurs. 29th Oct. 2015, but I am just having bad feelings about this!

Anyway! It's not over, until it's over so they say! But I haven't been feeling poorly today like I was yesterday, as I was feeling really quite sick yesterday, and felt dizzy a bit on Thurs. Anyway less then a week to go now until OTD, and halfway through my 10 day wait, so not too long to go now, so fingers, toes and everything crossed!          

Congrats to all of the BFP's, and Big hugs and commiserations to all those with BFN's.   

Goodnight and speak to you all soon.

p.s. is anyone else's OTD on Thurs. 29th Oct. 2015?

xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Dolphins hope you're doing ok and got some rest after your training course. Try to stay positive, seems like some positive symptoms there. Cramps can be sign of implantation so hopefully it's just them bedding down. Thinking of you, few days to go. Everything crossed for you. X


----------



## KLconfused

Dolphins - I agree there are some positive symptoms there. Hold on and sit tight. I know its not easy. Fingers crossed and not long to wait now. I think you can test tomorrow on one of the early kits too 

Caro - how is your cycle going? When is your EC likely to be?

Trin - good luck for Wednesday. I really believe it will go smoothly. The clinic will make sure of it. Really hope you get a great number of mature eggs. Hope the trigger went better tonight than it did last time. 

Crazy  - short protocol is great isn't it. Not long for you too. 

Hi to everyone else xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Trin just wanted to wish you luck for tomorrow. Hope all goes well


----------



## Carter4

Trin lots of luck for your EC tomorrow. I hope you are nicely chilled this evening? 

caro I hope you are feeling more 'up' for your cycle. What stage are you at now?

Kitten good luck to you for your upcoming cycle.

KL I'm sorry Care messed you about with time frames. It's a shame you can't persuade your DH to try your fet inbetween. I, like you, would want to do that in the interim.

crazy - Your cycle has whizzed by, good luck for your EC on Friday.

Sasha - Hope all is well with you, and your twinnies?

Dolphins - Fx for your otd.


----------



## Dolphins

Hi ladies  

I "still" fear that my period is on it's way I'm afraid! As I woke up this morning with sharp pains in my stomach, like I get at times when my period is due, and I am still having cramping sensations now.   I could feel my period was on it's way last cycle, and on OTD it was a clear BFN, and my period came 2 days later, so unfortunately I have been here before.

Going shopping now, as I am trying frantically to distract myself until Thurs. OTD.  I will test first thing on the Thurs. morning, but I am half thinking that it hasn't worked, however! I haven't bled yet, so you'll never know.  I am still feeling really sick, as well, esp. this morning for some strange reason.
However, I can't believe how quickly this 10 day wait has been for me, has I have been really, really busy with our son, so not much time to think and dwell thankfully.  I have felt that during this cycle esp. the 2ww (in my case this time, the 10 day wait) has gone the quickest, thankfully.  It was cycle 2  and 3 that I felt that it really tracked, as I had to wait 16 days then, so it went beyond the 2ww.

Anyway! Will catch up with some personals later hopefully! However! I did want to say good luck to Trin for your EC tomorrow, hope you get plenty of good quality eggs. Let us know how you get on, big hugs!       

Thank you also, to you all, for wishing me luck for my OTD which I can't believe is only the day after tomorrow! I can't believe it!   

Bye for now. 

xxx


----------



## Trin Trin

Thanks Crazy, Kl, Carter, Dolphins for the good luck messages. Much appreciated. Kl I didn't mess up my trigger injection on Monday thankfully. No need to call the on call nurses lol 

Carter yes I had a relaxing evening. DH and I went to see James Bond....loved it. How's your girls doing??

Kl - Hope you're feeling a bit better. Would you consider asking for some money back??

Crazy - how was your scan on Monday. Are you still on schedule for EC on Friday?

Dolphins - 2 days to go!! I have everything crossed for you🙏

AFM EC was much smoother than last time, no dramas. Collected 16 eggs this time so let's see what tomorrow's call brings......going to have a sleep now😴 I'll keep you posted x


----------



## Carter4

Woweee Trin that's a bumper crop there. Fantastic starting point that's for sure. Good luck for your call tomorrow, can't wait to hear your update x


----------



## KLconfused

Dolphins - best of luck tomorrow morning. Really hoping for a BFP for you. 

Trin - wow that's an amazing number. Isnt that more than even your best previous cycles? Did you do anything different this cycle? Im so glad its a good outcome after all the worry. So excited for you. The last go works for sooo many people x 

AFM not really wanting to ask for some money back. Ive lost all my fight. If I argue with Care ill just end up at the end of a list somewhere else. Ive now got an infection in my foot which has blown up like a balloon. Hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon. Im so desperate to be pregnant and im still upset but I don't think I can do anything more than sit back and wait to be matched. Today is the last day for starting a cycle with ET this year so im definitely looking at 2016 and I think it may even be end Jan or later. Ill cry if I think of it too much so I try not to think of it. 

high to everyone else xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Amazing Trin, well done!! Hope tomorrow's call is all good. 
Kl, hope your foot is better soon and you take it easy. 
Scan today not so great rescan Friday and see how it goes. Fingers crossed.


----------



## Dolphins

Thanks ladies for wishing me luck for tomorrow!  

We'll just after wait and see what happens tomorrow morning, but I'll let you know.     

KLconfused - sorry to hear about your foot, and the fact that it won't be until next year that you can cycle now.  What terrible bad luck! Big hugs hun!    

Trin - well done Trin for getting 16 eggs from egg collection, I just hope that you get some top quality eggs now, out of all of these.  I hope it's good news for you in the next few days.    

Crazy_frog - hope your scan goes better on Friday, and that you'll get to EC.

Anyway! I'm tired now, and it is "such a big day for us tomorrow folks", so goodnight!   

xxx


----------



## Dolphins

Hi ladies  

It's a   for me this morning ladies.  

Hope you are all alright, and good luck to anyone else who is due to test, and sorry for anymore BFN's   , and congratulations to all of the  's.

Bye for now.

xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Oh dolphins I'm sorry it hasn't worked. Hope you take care of yourself.


----------



## Trin Trin

Dolphins so so sorry to hear your news this morning:-( so gutted for you. Take care my love xx

Crazy hope the scan tomorrow is a positive one, I had to stim an extra 3 days this cycle. Hope all goes well!!

Kl poor you with your infected foot:-( sounds painful. Hope it heals up very soon. Re Care I think you're probably doing the best thing, waiting and trying your best to be patient. I do still feel they shouldn't mislead people in such a way with the timescales they promote. Re my cycles I collected 17 on my very first cycle. Just shows each cycle will vary each time. I stopped taking all the additional supplements which are mentioned in the supplement section. Spent about £100 and clearly they didn't improve anything in cycle 2 and 3 so I stopped taking leading up to this one just pregnacare conception. 

Thanks for all the well wishes, Carter I appreciate you still sticking around for us all. So my call this morning.....out of the 16 eggs 10 were mature, out of the 10, 7 fertilised, however 2 didn't fertilise properly so I have 5 contenders.....tomorrow's call will let me know how they're developing. Fingers crossed the news is positive 🙏


----------



## Crazy_frog

Trin that's good news. Fingers crossed for your call tomorrow. 

We've just have a shock call from the doctor, ovulation has already occurred so cycle is cancelled. 6 cycles and first time. So surprised, can't find anything on Google or here even. So frustrated, upset and so on. So another one where we're waiting over Christmas. Gonna step away from here for a bit, so all the very best for everyone. Xx


----------



## KLconfused

Crazy,  I've never heard of that before. I thought all the drugs were to stop you ovulating before the right time. My heart goes out to you as it must be heartbreaking not to get to the 2ww no matter how hard we all find it. Understandable to take a break. 

Dolphins - so sad at your bfn. Big hugs. Is it too earlier to think what your going to do next?

Trin - 5 is great. Definitely something to put back. Are you planning on a 3dt as I think that's what you've done before?


----------



## Trin Trin

Omg Crazy!!!! I'm so upset for you and your partner. Ive never heard of this happening. As kl said I thought too the suprecur ensures you don't ovulate. Being upset is an understatement!! I have too many questions but don't want to bombard you. We all need to come off here for a while....I've done it a number of times so I totally understand. Take care and I'm thinking of you xx if you want to rant and off load we'll all be here to listen!!

Kl my last two cycles have been 2dt my first was a 3dt. If all goes well tomorrow I reckon it will be a 3dt as I have never had a 5dt although my frozen cycle was a 6dt......we'll see. This journey as we all know is so damn unpredictable I'm just going to try and take  each day at a time. Hope you're feeling a bit better x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Ok so deep breath and I'm back, feel I was just shocked and dramatic. The dr on the phone suggested we use drug to bring on period with implication to start again. We were so shocked we assumed it'd be longer but we've booked follow up for Monday. Trin right now I'm up for any question, it may help us focus our questions to the doctor. But the upshot of brief call was they've no idea why. We were using orgalutron and from Google t seems less than 1%, so pretty damn rare. At least we knew before egg collection, it could have been worse. Thank you for your responses it helps to know we aren't irrational in response! Cruel beyond belief this year, can't honestly believe the poop!!


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Dolphins so so sorry to read if your bfn. Sending you big hugs.

Crazy, what a kick in teeth to have to cancel but so good you can go again so soon. We had all 4 of our embryos stop developing on day 3/4 on our 3rd cycle and were told that was very rare, it's comforting to know in some respects as you know it shouldn't happen again but then you think why me?? 

Trin trin, 5 is a great number. Keep us posted on their progress, won't be long before they are back where they belong ready to snuggle down!!

Kl, hope you are ok?

Caro, where are you in your cycle?

Hi to anyone else I've missed

Xxx


----------



## Carter4

KL wishing you a speedy recovery from your foot infection. Hope it isn't too painful?

Sorry to see your bfn Dolphins.

Trin you must be so chuffed with your five remaining embies. Fx for another positive call tomorrow.

Crazy what a sh*te thing to happen. I would certainly be looking for assurances that an untimely ovulation does not happen on your next cycle. Do you need a different medication given what has occurred?

Sasha hoping all is well with you and your girls?


----------



## Trin Trin

Morning all

Pene lovely to hear from you.....and you Carter!!

Crazy I'm glad to hear of your update and that you can get going again. I'm just don't understand how this happened but as you explained the clinic were surprised too and your googling confirmed that this can happen to a small percentage!! I always have suprecur which is the drug I think prevents you from ovulating and I take this up until the day before trigger. I guess you need some assurances that you'll be closely monitored next time round. Didn't you have a scan on Monday? When was the next scan? How come they called to tell you that ovulation had occurred as opposed to seeing that the follicles had released when you were scanned? Sorry for all the questions....just curious. Well the good news is you can start again ASAP. I agree this year hasn't been kind to us. Hoping for better things in 2016 for us all.

Dolphins thinking of you and hope you're doing the best you can be 

AFM call this morning was good news. All 5 are developing well s mixture of 4 and 5 cells. 4 are top quality and 1 is average. They will call tomorrow to see how they're doing and whether we have a day 3 transfer or day 5. Going on previous records I expect it to be tomorrow.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Trin that's really great news. Four is brilliant so pleased for you,  keep going little embies and hope they're back warm and loved soon. 
Thank you all for your kind words, I'm kind of glad everyone is surprised! Well we're not sure if we can, we are waiting to talk to the nurse today and doctor on Monday. Orgalutron is similar I think, it seems to be their choice, don't know if that's because we don't down reg? It's held it back 5 other times so why this go? Yes we were scanned Monday, then Wednesday was odd scan where follicles weren't growing, few had shrunk but to be honest they didn't seem that bothered. They couldn't see a collapsed follicle, lining hadn't changed so they thought it was odd. At that point we just thought the less useful nurse was just useless on Monday. Luckily they did bloods though which showed rising lh and progesterone (although I don't know numbers and they haven't been measured recently). Exactly as you said I want to know what they are all going to do, I think I may well suggest I want a consistent nurse, experienced, to do all the scans. But perhaps that's unreasonable? We have to trust them, but we need to have someone we do trust and unfortunately one of the nurses doesn't fill us with confidence and sadly it proved us right this time.


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## KLconfused

trin - fingers crossed for news today x

Hi all, got a call last night to offer us a match. The lady is 5'11 and im only 5'7 but hubbies 6ft and our daughter is very tall for her age. Everything else about her sounds good.

However we wanted altruistic but this lady is egg share. She has a child/ren previously but now has tubal issues and this is her first IVF. I don't know her age but she has to be under 36 for the clinic. Ive got several concerns:
1) Sharing eggs - I know it sounds greedy but I hoped for 2 more children. If we egg share were unlikely to get more than 1 baby I think. I know there are no guarentees even with a younger altruistic exclusive donor though. And sharing is a lot cheaper which is good. I don't think my husband would ever agree to doing DEIVF again if we get 1 more healthy baby - understandably so really
2) Is our chance of success less with share than exclusive? I suppose it is. Im worn out and I want to give us the max chance of success. Im daunted at the thought of starting again and all the treks to the clinic and drugs and emotional stuff. Im not looking forward to it at all. If I have to do it should I wait for the best chance. Although I know people with young exclusive donors that get no baby anyway. Im scared if I say no ill regret it. The main reason to say no feels like its because im worn out after an awful 2 years and haven't the energy to try again but that will be the same whenever it happens. 
3) If a lady gives away eggs through egg share for purely financial reasons wont she be desperate to meet that child when its grown and welcome it with open arms. 

I have to tell the clinic Monday and if we say yes we start treatment dec and ET end Jan. If not then im unlikely to be matched until Jan/Feb. 

I think ive gotten over the oh no we have to get back on this rollercoaster a bit but im still dreading it but I think a little excitement is building too. 

sorry no personals ladies - off out for a swimming lesson now with DD.


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## Crazy_frog

Oh kl so many questions you've got which I guess you need to think about. It's good you've got the weekend to discuss it with your oh. 
I don't know if it helps but my sister in law did egg share, she also had tube problems after her first child. She did it for financial reasons, but others may do it because they need donor sperm and they know how hard it is- sil obviously knew our journey and I think it reassured her. She didn't consider the other lady's embryos her own, they were the lady's. I guess it's tricky one, but from our point of view, genetics isn't the whole story. In fact the evidence now shows that during pregnancy & breastfeeding the baby would actually gain the mothers dna! I don't think at 18, anyone would see them as "their" child. 
I don't think you're greedy, you may still end up with sufficient embryos to freeze, think you must get at least 4 eggs (depending on clinic).  Good luck with your decisions, we're all here to listen to ponderings.


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## Trin Trin

Kl - you got the call!!!!!!!!
There's always decisions to be made with all of this. No you're not greedy at all, you're being honest and have a vision of your ideal family structure and want to take the route which statistically get you there. I do agree with Crazy in the fact that when you donate your embryos the ones donated you do not regard them as yours. I know a few ladies who have done so and yes it help financially but they also do it to help women who need them and couldn't have a family without. On paper the donor seems a good match despite the height difference. I'm not 5"2 abd my 11 year old is so not as tall as me. My point is, I would try not to worry about those differences. 

I guess with sharing you'll have less eggs to play with, but I've learnt from this experience there's no magical formula. Having the weekend is good to think about. I'm sure you'll make the best decision but there isn't a right or wrong choice.......thinking of you....

Crazy - Thanks for explaining what you experienced this week. I don't think it's unreasonable to have a regular nurse during your cycle and your recent experience has made you want some consistency. Definitely gather your questions for your appointment and let them know your concerns moving forward.

AFM I had my transfer today. Transferred 3 top quality 8 cells so let's see what happens on otd 11 November 🙏 The other 2 one didn't grow much more from yesterday and the other is average but they're going to see how they are on day 5.


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## Trin Trin

Sorry kl just read message back. I am 5"2 and my daughter is nearly my height at aged 11. Hope this makes sense the point I was trying to make x


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## Crazy_frog

Trin that's amazing 3 top grade!! Everything crossed for you. Take it easy and look after yourself.


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## Carter4

Trin here's hoping with all of my might that one of your three top quality embies stick. Also fx for good news tomorrow for your remaining solo embie. 

Crazy I hope you get some half decent answers from your doctor tomorrow.

KL brilliant news on a match being offered, although if the height thing is niggling you, then go with your instinct and say no. We were offered a donor where the height did not match our criteria. It was actually the other way around for us, and she was too short! I felt awful for declining, but I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, and the next offer was J and E's donor! I have to say though that as time goes on your priorities do change, and had we been unsuccessful on that cycle, my criteria for similar matching would have lessened.
Ours was egg share, predominantly as a move to reduce costs, and a definite gamble with regards to numbers, but just goes to show doesn't it?! Our lady had proven fertility, and we were never told the reason for her needing ivf. We later found out that she was right at the cut off age for being a donor. I remember being disappointed about this at the time, but now J and E are here it is so inconsequential. If you are hoping for more than one more baby though, you do make a really valid point about the amount of eggs, but like you say there is no guarantee if your donor donates altruistically to just you.
Have faith in the process tired lady, and you will get your second bundle of joy that you deserve so much.
Good luck whichever way you decide to jump.


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## Crazy_frog

Kl how you feeling now about your match? Any decisions about how to proceed. Hope weekend has helped decision whichever way. 
Trin good luck for all this morning, although remember best 3 are back. Hope you're doing ok. 
Dolphins how are you doing?
Carter and everyone thanks for support. We've decided to delay follow up from today, we've managed to book a last min break. May as well reuse the holiday time I've booked. Hoping to do follow up tomorrow or weds. Hoping to sort drugs and maybe restart soon. If not time away will be lovely anyway.


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## Trin Trin

Thanks all for your positivity!!

Kl hope you're okay. Did you reach a decision?

Crazy - last minute break sounds just what the dr ordered!! Have fun!!good idea using the time you had booked

Embryologist called this morning, I was driving doing the school run and wasn't really engaged!! She used a phrase I didn't understand, asked her to explain and something like they haven't fully developed into blasts but will call me again tomorrow. I was more concerned that I mistakenly took 4 asprin tablets instead of one!! I confused the packet with the steroid ones!!! Why do I always mess something up with meds every cycle!!! Don't think I've done too much harm. 300mg is the usual dose when taking for pain relief but I'm still really annoyed at myself!!


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## KLconfused

Trin - im sure no harm was done.  Sounds like you haven't got a 5 day blast so they wait for day 6 to see if its blast then. The embryo we have at ARGC is a 6 day blast. Well done on the 3 on board. Im told if one left in the dish keeps growing it bodes well for the 3 inside you! You stand a really good chance now of a BFP. Im really hopeful for you. Such a tough cookie you so deserve a take home baby  Did the clinic say anything about the last cycle? Something must have gone wrong with the trigger or EC as that cycle was so different to the others. 

Crazy - a break sounds lovely. Let us know how you get on when you have the follow up. Also thanks for the advice re donor. It helped ease my mind. 

Caro - how are you - we haven't heard from you for ages. 

Dolphins - how are you holding up? Have you thought yet about whats next?

AFM we were set to accept donor then I spoke to a donor nurse at the clinic this morning and think were going to say no to the donor. I think im happy with the donor doing IVF herself but really we wanted exclusive and ideally someone who has donated before. The nurse said I should wait as I want to feel ive thrown everything at it. I explained I don't trust my own instincts or decision making around IVF and I feel defeated and resigned no matter what we choose. She said to stick to our criteria and we could still be matched by xmas. I have to talk it through with husband but when I was talking to her and saying we cant do this many more times emotionally and we ideally want 2 more children etc I just convinced myself to say no. I have this silly image of 3 kids with all different biological mums and dads and I don't want that. I have a feeling it will be the wrong decision but if I said yes im sure that would be too! It seems weird pining after 2 children when I haven't got the first yet and there are no guarentees even with a proven exclusive donor. I don't know. Me and hubby will go round and round in circles tonight about it no doubt.
Carter - thanks for your input. I would love to go shared and save the money as the donor sounds good. But I just don't think we will be as lucky as you. Girl twins would be my dream but the clinic said were only guaranteed 4 eggs and thats before they see whats mature. I know we may get more but the lady hasn't done IVF before so its too big a gamble I think. I know you went through hell to get your girls and im just hoping I end up as lucky as you at the end of my journey. 

xx


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## Trin Trin

Kl - how did it go with DH last night, do you think you will wait for another match? There really is no wrong or right with the decision you make. I know it may feel like whatever you choose isn't the right choice, but this whole process doesn't provide us with any guarantees so how will we ever know what's right!! That's what makes it all so frustrating.....almost like each cycle is a gamble. 4 eggs could be all you need, could provide you with twins but it's all just unknown which makes deciding what to do even harder. I long for this journey to be over for us all....I really do.

Clinic called this morning to say one of the embies didn't develop further from yesterday but the other one did become a blast but the quality isn't really good enough to freeze. I'm okay as thus cycle really is my last....well at least with my own eggs anyway. I did question the embryologist re my last cycle and how different to my or opus ones and she said this can sometimes happen and every egg and every soerm is different etc. I do accept every cycle being different but my last cycle was awful!! Every part of it!!

I really don't feel tough but I guess I'm becoming more resilient to it all. I won't lie Kl but your last cycle really scared me as I believed transferring 3 like you did had such great odds. Think it's given me a reality check that you could transfer 6 and still not get s pregnancy. I of course desperately want this to work but I also know that it may not. I do have an element of hope this cycle whereas my last I knew it was a waste of time and would not work. I'm just taking each day at a time. So far it's working....


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## Sasha1973

Hi ladies, sorry for my absence. 

Trin congratulations on being pupo. Sorry you didn't get any that could be frozen. You said about having 3 transferred and the odds, I had 3 transferred on my last 2 cycles - the first ended in a bfn and this one in twins, so it really can go either way. In both cycles my embryos weren't good quality but obviously some made it and the others didn't, it's so hard when there's no guarantees. I'm keeping everything crossed that you get bfp with a good sticky one this cycle. 

Crazy so sorry your cycle was cancelled so late on, like the others I haven't heard of early ovulation before. It's horrible being part of that tiny percentage when things go wrong and you question 'why me?', I've been there so can appreciate how you feel. I hope your follow up with the clinic goes well and the wait to start again isn't too long. I hope you and DP enjoy your break away. 

Klconfused I hope your chat with DH went ok, it's such a hard decision for you too make but I think you're right to trust your gut instinct. I totally get you not wanting to egg share especially as you'd love to have twins, it's all a numbers game and the more eggs you're able to get would logically increase your chances. I really feel for you ladies and so hope you all get your dreams this time so you don't have to go through this again. 

Carter and Penelope I hope you're both well. 

Thinking of you all xxx


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## KLconfused

trin, glad your coping well with the 2ww. you have a great chance. I wouldn't worry about my 3 embryos. im just peculiar. I have had 7 top grade 3 day old embryo at Wessex and 1 baby then 4 at ARGC and 1 mc. the consultant at my last follow up said I must be one of those women who produce good quality embryos but they don't make a baby. I don't think its that common and he said there may still be a good egg there it just takes longer to find. I think 1 baby from 11 'perfect' embryos is very bad odds and limited to me!

SO another dilemma I need help with.  I turned down the donor this morning and have immediately been offered another one. This lady has already started her drugs and her recipient has pulled out as she got pregnant naturally. it means I would have to start my drugs on day 1 later this week and ET would be before xmas.  This lady is exclusive and has donated 3 times before with success. These are wow factors and on our list of wants. She seems to have quite a different personality to me shown through her job and interests but im coming round to that. However she is 5'2 and im 5'7. 

We have to use donor sperm too and hubbie and donor are both 6ft. 

Our biological daughter between hubbie and me is very tall for her age. 

so how important is height? should we jump at an exclusive proven donor? is it realistic to want that plus around 5'7? agggghh

Ive got to let the clinic know tomorrow morning. 

thanks for your help!


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## Sasha1973

Klconfused that's good that they've found another donor straight away, but sorry you have another dilemma on your hands. 

It sounds like everything is nearly as you wanted it except the height issue. My initial reaction when you said was that if it was me I didn't think it would matter with your sperm donor being 6 foot as the baby would probably be an average, but it really does depend how you feel about the height issue. If she meets all your other criteria that's a really good start, but go with your gut instinct as its a big decision. 

My OH is 5 ft 10 and I'm 5ft 4.5 and our biological little boy is going to be very very tall probably well over 6 foot as he's always been off the percentile scale for height even at all our pregnancy scans and it really makes no difference to me in fact I don't even think about it. I really hope that helps and you can make a decision you're comfortable with


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## Trin Trin

Omg Kl....what's going on No call for weeks then 2 potential donors in a week!! WOW!!

Exclusivity is what you wanted, she's proven too. How important is height To me it isn't really a factor but I am 5"2. My husband is 5"9 I think....we have always used a donor give an inch either side with similar height. My point earlier on in the thread was that my daughter is almost my height already and will clearly be much taller than me. You are using double donor so is the sperm donor you've chosen similar height to your husband?

Would I go for it?.....I think I would, but doesn't mean you should if the height issue is important to you. I guess you'll be having another evening filled with more discussions with DH. My goodness when it rains it pours....keep us posted xx


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## KLconfused

thanks again all. We have sadly turned the donor down. Several reasons really. My daughter has been poorly all week so Id really struggle to get to the clinic this week, im tired and enjoying a bit of time off after nearly 2 years of constantly ttc . And because of the height. There are no shorter people in my family really. A girl I think would be Ok but a smaller boy would look obvious I think. I know we may get a shorter child no matter the height of either donor but we just didn't feel comfortable. I know this is all a waste of time worrying about though if it doesn't ever work. Id literally have any baby now if someone wanted to give me theirs so I think its more the logistics of doing a cycle now that bothers me. Also I suppose I must be near the top of the DE list now to have offers coming through and I can wait for the right one now. I did talk to a nurse again and she said most people have to compromise on something so you have to decide whats most important. I can cope with someone with darker or lighter hair or eyes but height is a key one for us as is proven and exclusive. It looks like we will be waiting until the next year which is gutting but I still want to lose another stone ideally before I start too. 
Im disappointed but also relieved and I think that tells me it wasn't right for us. Its hard to tell the difference between nerves at starting again and a lack of desire to start again. Im assuming its just nerves as I really want another baby!

Caro - you must be nearing EC?

Dolphins - thinking of you at a difficult time x

Trin - how are you holding up?

Lovely to hear from you Sasha. On the homeward stretch now. I hope the pregnancy is being kind to you. 

xx


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## Trin Trin

Kl - Glad you and DH reached a decision which felt right for you both. This is something you have to be comfortable with. Totally understand the feeling calm and content not cycling and the trips to and from the clinic etc. I hope your daughter is feeling better soon. Well at least you can kind have relax durin the Christmas period and a fresh start to 2016!!

I'm doing okay actually, surprising myself how relaxed I am to be honest. Week to go until I test and so far I'm not wishing the time to go fast or googling or analysing every sensation I feel. Perhaps having so much bad luck has made me a bit harder and tougher. Or maybe it's getting easier to deal with each time....

Caro - If you're cycling I hope all is going well. Not sure what stage you're at.

Night all x


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## caro8500

Hi everyone

Gosh what a lot i seem to have missed. 

Dolphins so sorry your cycle didn't work out. How are you bearing up?

Crazy - must be very difficult when something so unexpected happens with your cycle. Hope you can enjoy your hols and return all refreshed and ready to go again

Trin congrats on being pupo!. Your embryos that were left to grow on sound like mine were in the only cycle I had a 5 day transfer. My day 5's were more like day 4's and hadn't reached blast stage. I'm definitely a 2/3 day transfer advocate and Its great that you've got 3 little embryos back where they belong.Really hope this is the one for you

KL. What a roller coaster you seem to have been on over the past few weeks!! I think its so important that you feel the donor is right.It's easy to stop trusting ourselves on this journey but I think you'll know when its right for you. Hope your daughter is feeling a bit better 

Great to hear from you sasha and carter

AFM. nice but tiring week away and then straight back to work. I'm still down regulating (to help dampen down the endo) and have scan next weds. Hopefully then can start stimms! Previously I've needed 12 days of stimms before EC but on higher dose this time so might not be as long.


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## KLconfused

Caro - your down reg seems long. I assume maybe that's the endo. Good luck with your scan next week and I hope you can get started on the stims. 

Trin - best of luck for Wednesday. im really hopeful this will be the sticky bean for you - or maybe beans!

Crazy - did you have your follow up yet?

AFM it seems very quiet without the clinic ringing. Feels a bit deflated now. I suddenly realised im 42 in March so ill probably not get an ET until im 42. That just feels too old to have a baby. I think 42 is my cut off. 1 more year to try. 2 of my friends had babies at 46 but im not comfortable with it. 
I also watched the jody marsh programme on making babies. there was a lady there who had 15 rounds of ivf to have a daughter then on her 17th round she got triplets. Its made me really doubt if im giving up too soon and moving to DE? Ive done 6 goes. I cant afford 15 but I could do some at a different clinic than ARGC. Also iv never done the LP as my AMH was wrongly measured when I started IVF or maybe I could try natural IVF? Agghh. I don't think I have it in me to try OE IVF again but im doubting myself now. Am I weak and giving up too soon? The doctors haven't told me to stop IVF because I keep making good day 3 embryos. 

daughters on the mend thankfully with some antibiotics. been a horrid week.


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## Trin Trin

Caro lovely to hear from you. Glad to hear you'll start stimming soon, hope your scan goes well on Wednesday. I also stim between 10 ish days too, this cycle was a bit longer.

Crazy hope you've had a good break and you're able to start back soon...

Kl I do think our eggs are okay but it's all about finding the good one/s, how much you can afford financially and emotionally to keep going is the difficulty. The age thing does bother me a bit at times. My dad has me at 37 and when I was younger I thought he had me quite old!! Here I am at 40 nearly 41 trying nearly 4 years for number 2. For some of us we can't plan and prepare as others can do quite easily, and we have no control over when or if this will work for us. I'm 41 at the end of the year and as you know I didn't plan on still being in this situation. I don't see that you have given up on your OE but you're looking at the statistically higher route to get you there as quickly as possible.....but then it takes just one good egg....but we don't know when that golden egg will surface!! I do think you'll get another donor and the phone will ring again with news!! I don't think 42 is too old but I guess we have to have a stopping point which is right for us individually. OE DE ultimately we just want a baby to take home....but I now accept I cannot go on forever with this as it's taken over my life for far too long.


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## Crazy_frog

Hi all, hope everyone doing ok. 
Kl, I can understand turning down donor if it doesn't feel completely right. Hope the next call is perfect and as you say you must be top of list. Hope your daughter doing better now. Some time off helps sometimes and you can prepare for next step. It's normal to question everything and what ifs are such a massive part of this journey. 
Trin how are you feeling? Hoping all is well and you're feeling positive. 
Caro, glad you're feeling ready to start and hope pain is better. Good luck with next bit. 
Sasha and Carter hope you're both ok. 
Dolphins hope you're ok. 
Follow up went as well as could expect. No real answers why, it's massively rare. Out of 300-400 cycles it might happen once. Great were in the rubbish percentage yet can't be in the successful one! Can't cycle til next year which is frustrating but right, need time to chill and take care of each other. They're upping dose of orgalutron to hold back ovulation. Just have to hope. Break was glorious and just what we needed.


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## Carter4

Crazy - Glad your time away was good. It's a pain in the backside that you have to wait until next year to cycle again though. I hope you are able to switch off a little and enjoy the festive season. I am pretty sure the higher dose of orgalutron should do the trick.

Trin - Your clinic put back your best three embies, so never mind the other two. Any notable symptoms yet? Or should I be discouraging you from any spotting? 

KL - Your height dilemma really resonates with me. I too am 5'7", and the donor we were offered before J&E's one was also 5'2". I remember really struggling with the fact that I was going to turn her down, but I'm glad we did for obvious reasons, but also for the fact that our next donor was 5'8"! Having said that my DD1 is on the short side, despite my height and DH being 6'3", so as you say there is never any guarantee. I personally totally understand your reason for declining.
I don't think you are weak for opting to use DE, I think you are smart. There is always the possibility that you may find the 'one', but you are attempting to maximise your chances of giving your DD a sibling. The call will come soon enough again. 
Glad your DD is on the up.

Sasha - Good to hear from you. Any update for us?

caro -  Hope your scan goes well this week, and you can move onto the next stage.


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## KLconfused

Thanks ladies for your support. Your right Trin it is about finding a golden egg but ive lost any confidence there is one. It doesn't make any sense why someone would have years of BFN then 3 good eggs all in 1 cycle but that's IVF for you, no logic at all! I know in my heart its right to move to DE as I cant put myself through OE IVF again when I don't believe it will work. Its that hope that it will work I think that keeps us doing it and when that's gone its time to move on. 

Also there is the time factor now. Im 42 in March and ive had enough of doing this so I want the highest chance of success but also as quickly as possible. It has made me wander if I should have accepted that 5'2 donor as id be doing treatment now but its too late to change my mind so no point wandering. Im hoping the call will come and ill just know its the right donor and it will fall into place. I think ill still be dreading the treatment next year as I still feel tired. It doesn't seem to matter what break I have from treatment I still feel tired all the time and I suppose that's because its always on my mind. 

Crazy - looks like we may be trying together next year. Hope you manage to enjoy the break. 

Trin - I think I was picking up some positive vibes in your post. I think your like me and you will know by now if your pregnant or not without needing to POAS. I really hope im right reading those positive vibes!

Another friend of mine has just done her very last FET and its a BFN. Gutted for her. determined not to say all that rubbish that people say that annoys me though but its hard to know what else there is to say! 

Daughter is feeling better today I think. She had some major meltdowns yesterday but today seems happier and the cough isn't so chesty. Just hoping the diarhea goes now. Hubbie is now in bed with a temperature and diarhea and I don't feel great so another long week. Im determined to do my running still today. Im up to 25 mins running with no break 3 times a week. DD is really good whilst im on the treadmill which makes it easier. Im so chuffed ive got this far. Still not weighed myself  but cant bring myself to get on the scales incase ive put on weight. 2.5 weeks left of the 9 week plan so I think ill finish the plan then weigh myself. 

Hi to everyone else x


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## Trin Trin

Morning ladies

Carter - so glad you've stuck around to support us all. Re symptoms I have no clue. I'm feeling all sorts but I've felt the same things in both positive and negative cycles so I sincerely have no clue if this has worked or not. My frozen cycle is the only one I knew had worked....all the others I've felt like AF is coming. 

Kl - I really would tell you all if I felt positive about things but truthfully I have no clue. My calmness has now turned into wanting to know now as the last two days are killing me. Feeling a bit irritable too. Im not testing early as I've done that before and for me it was more torture. I have a chance this cycle where as my last I knew instantly that it was not going to work. Re DE I agree it's all about taking the route which will get you to your goal with the highest stats and the quickest. 

Crazy - glad you had a good break, shame you have to wait until after Christmas but at the same time there's something refreshing about starting in the new year. At least you can enjoy Xmas period, eat drink etc without having to be so good if you were cycling. 

I'll let you know on Wednesday ladies 😁🙏


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## Sasha1973

Trin just wanted to wish you the best of luck for tomorrow, fingers crossed for your bfp, crossing everything g for you  

Klconfused I totally understand your worries about age, I'll be 42 tomorrow and certainly never thought I'd still be trying at my age but I don't think I'd've been able to give up either. I think you made the right decision about the shorter donor as height was a priority for you and your gut instinct was to say no, everything happens for a reason and I'm sure the right donor will be along for you very soon. 

Crazy glad you had a nice time away. Sorry you can't cycle again until after Christmas but hopefully you and DP will be able to enjoy some chill time over the festive season until you start again. That's good they're increasing the dose next time, it's awful being in that small percentage but fingers crossed it won't happen again. 

Caro I hope your scan goes well tomorrow and you are able to start stimming soon. 

Carter I hope the girls are all doing well, going to be a busy but special Christmas for you this year. 

Hi to everyone else 

AFM we had a growth scan Thursday and unfortunately the twin that's always been a touch smaller isn't growing as well, 4 weeks ago there was only 2oz difference between the two babies and now there's 11oz difference, so they're keeping an eye on us as concerned that her placenta may be breaking down, so they may be here a little sooner but we'll see, praying she has a growth spurt by the next scan a week Thursday and I can keep them growing as long as possible.


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## Carter4

Ahhh Sasha, how far along are you? 32 weeks, or further? Sounds similar to what happened with my two, fx for your next scan. Hopefully you will get some reassurance next time and the smaller of your two girls has had a little growth spurt? Try not to worry, you should be closely monitored, and may be meeting them both a tad sooner than expected, how exciting, well possibly a bit scary, but definitely exciting!

Trin sending you all the luck in the universe for tomorrow's test. I'm wondering whether you have had a sneaky bfp since your last post? I do hope so, with all my heart.

KL well done you on your fitness regime... I really should take a leaf out of your book!


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## Trin Trin

Thank you for all the good luck messages, Carter & Sasha!!

Carter, I did not test until this morning and really had no clue.

Sasha - Happy Birthday!!!! Hope you have a wonderful day!! Sorry to hear about one of the girls being slightly behind, it's only natural for you to be worried. As Carter says you'll be monitored more closely now. 

Kl Thank you for the PM xx

Well it's a BFP!!!!!!! I'm thrilled and very happy but I have been here before so I'm obviously cautious. All I can do is try my best to think positive and take each day at a time. God I hope and pray it's my time for the happy ending.

Thanking you all on here for your support and positivity during my journey so far!! X


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## Crazy_frog

Sasha, glad you're being monitored closely. Keep looking after yourself and fingers crossed little one catches up a bit over the next week. Happy birthday!
Trin that's amazing, so pleased for you and fingers crossed this little one(s) is snuggled down safe and all goes well. Hopefully all our luck is changing!! 
Kl hope you're doing ok. 
Carter hope you are all doing well and looking forward to a very hectic Christmas!!
Caro, how you doing with down reg? Is it today the scan for starting stims?
Went back to work yesterday after hols, could happily have poked some people in the eye!! Senior staff, who know we were cycling all keen to hear the news, so frustrating when I say I don't want to talk and they push and push. I got upset and I just want to do my job and get on with stuff, not explain everything to people who don't know and aren' t actually my friends. I get they want to help and support, but so much of it so they know first and want to "keep the secret", whilst gossiping madly!! Aggggh so frustrated. I even tried the "when we have news, I'll share with you" but no they wanted more.


----------



## Carter4

Trin xxx


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Huge congratulations Trin Trin!!!! Yeay!!! Looking forward ot reading your updates with scans etc. 

Sasha,happy birthday and figners crossed twin #2 has a growth spurt during this week. 

Crazy, my work colleagues are exactly the same as you and I really couldve strangled them several times throughout our treatment. My supervisor was the worst, I had to tell her in order to get the time off to attend appts,scans etc but she would push and push me for info at each stage, making out we were close friends and I could confide in her, when really she wouldve been the last person I wouldve told. 

Hi to everyone else. KL, hoping you get that call with the perfect donor soon. 

Carter, hope you and your family are well. 

Caro, 
good luck with this cycle lovely. 

Hope i havent missed anyone. 
xx


----------



## Trin Trin

Awww thanks Crazy, Carter and Pene!!! Great feeling having support both with good news and bad news. My scan is booked for 3 December. Decided not to do any further tests and my approach is to take one step at a time......hoping and praying this pregnancy will be 3rd time lucky!!!

Crazy, sorry to hear returning to work was difficult. I chose only to confide in my Manager and no one else at work, as my colleagues are just that...colleagues, we don't really interact out of work. I know I couldn't handle being asked questions re how it's going etc. Annoying as you'd think your colleagues could have sensed you didn't want to discuss but they continued to probe.....that shows no tact at all. But you're probably right that they have the best intentions.With this cycle I only told my best friend, not because I can't talk about it with those closest to me, but felt I just wanted to get on with it with not having to tell who I usually do.


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## Sasha1973

Trin that's fantastic news I'm so so happy for you 🎉🎈🎉🎈🎉🎈🎉 fingers crossed its 3rd time lucky for you and you have a fab pregnancy Xx


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## caro8500

Arghhh just lost my post!

YAYYYYYYY to Trin. Fantastic news. Understand that you have been here before but surely this must be your time. x

Crazy. Rubbish that you back at work and being pushed for info you don't want to share. Annoys me how insensitive people can be. I'd be tempted to tell them to mind their own business but its hard when you have to work with people

Sasha. Must be worrying for you but hopefully you are being looked after and closely monitored. How far on are you now? 

Pen. good to hear from you. Hope all is going well?

KL. Good for you that you are sticking to your plan and being pro active. There's not much we can control with TTC but I guess exercise and diet is one of them. Have to admit I'm pretty rubbish at the first! 

Thanks for asking after me. I had scan today and all ok so started stimms tonight. On a much higher dose than been on previously which is on my mind a little but guess you never know until you try and I wanted to try something different. Time will tell. 
x


----------



## Dolphins

Hi ladies  

Many congratulations Trin Trin on your BFP  .          

It's been 2 wks. now since my OTD, and I am still having more bad days then good, the pain is so great, I so want another baby, that it hurts! Anyway! Time is a great healer, and I have already started to look at our next step, which will be donor now. I have got a friend who has had a donor, and she went to Serum, and it worked for her first time, and I have heard great things about Serum, and I have heard that the success rate is so good, that after an early miscarriage, and 4 clear negative cycles, I just feel that I can't go through another failed cycle again,   so I need a "really good success rate". Also, in another country, if it work's your child is not legally obliged to look for their genetic parent at 18, as they are in this country, so that's another good reason to go abroad.  Also, the donor cycles are cheaper abroad!

However! I've got a couple of things that I would like your advise on ladies, if you may!

Firstly, if there is anyone on here that has gone down the donor route, or considering it, I know you KlConfused are, have you heard of the 'Donor Conception Network?' And if so, have you joined it? And is it worth joining? As I know that it is an annual membership, and I know that they run workshops for potential parents considering the donor option, but I was wondering, if it was worth joining? As the annual membership, is not that cheap.

Secondly, our clinic is pushing us to make a decision whether or not we would like to store my partner's sperm for a further 2 or 4 ys. with an added cost, but as we are now having to go through the egg donor route, is it worth storing it for longer, or just telling them to get rid of it, as we will have to transfer it anyway when we go abroad to have treatment, just in case we need to use it.  Basically, we don't know what the implications are, and haven't got the full information to make an informd decision on it either way, and the clinic needs to know asap, as the end of the storage period is at the beginning of Dec. 2015, so not much time at all.  It is really a decision that we do not really want to make at the mo.

Any feedback on these two big queries, will be "greatly appreciated!" Many thanks.    

Sorry about the lack of personals, but in between managing my child's behaviour, who has got additional needs, and feeling tired, emotionally and physically, I am finding it really hard at the mo. to keep up with other people's news.

Hope you are all ok.   

xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Great news Caro hope all goes well with nest step and hope pain is ok now. 
Dolphins, sorry to hear you're having more bad days than good. Glad to hear you're looking at moving forward. Re donor, we obviously used donor sperm and we haven't joined the network although we have heard of them. For us donor was means to an end, we don't have any issue with to tell or not, as clearly we must have had assistance to conceive (same sex couple!). I get cross when ppl refer to "dad", those who know if donor, he isn't the dad- parents are people who raise their children and I don't believe the genetics make a parent. I think it's whatever feels right for you. 
Regarding your second question, I guess it depends on what the costs wil be, whether there's been an issues with samples in the past and how you confident you feel.  Serum do a free consult and you can get great advice from them. It might be worth looking at and see how you feel about their advice. All the best with moving forward. 
Thanks for support re colleagues, glad not just me! Sadly senior staff all know through their need to gossip, because they cover and at times they'd have to make changes for flexibility for treatment, it's only 2 (of 6) that case grief!! I think I'm being over sensitive and they are trying to support me, but they are just so darn bad at reading signs, they are colleagues and think they forget their overstepping!


----------



## floozie_fay

Hi, I'm new to the site but am currently on my 5th cycle of ICSI now.
The 3rd gave us our gorgeous little boy, the 4th was a miscarriage & now this 5th time is our very final attempt.


----------



## KLconfused

Floozie - good luck and welcome to this board. xx 

Dolphins - sorry your having a rough time. A BFN is bad enough but also saying goodbye to OE is tough. I cant imagine how hard it is on top of that to manage yours sons needs too. 
Regards the sperm I would echo previous comments. It depends if there have been any problems in the past. Fresh is always best so if it is OK id let the frozen stuff perish as you will be using a new clinic anyway. Ive heard lots of positives about Serum. 

I am a member of DCN but haven't attended any events. I think maybe when the child is older it might be useful. At this stage what they have is some really good booklets on how to tell the child about conception with a donor. The counsellor in the clinic showed us them and they are good. We will be telling the child about the donor so their advice is useful although it feels premature as we haven't even got a baby yet. I don't know if you have to have a counsellor if you get a clinic in Europe but we do as were using a UK clinic and they recommend DCN as the studies seem to suggest telling the child is the best way forward. Its a very emotive subject and everyone has their own opinion. I would just say if you use a UK clinic the donors are non anonymous which means the child could trace them when they turn 18 but they are not obliged to. Indeed DCN will tell you the majority of children never want to meet the donor if they know about him/her from an early age. If the child wants to find the donor they can but if you go to Europe then the child couldn't find the donor even if they wanted to and that may impact the decision on whether to tell the child about a donor. I have a best friend who has used a European clinic and will not tell her daughter and another that used a UK clinic who will tell her son. 
I have heard the wait lists are much shorter in Europe and actually they are a lot better at DE and loads cheaper. 

trin - congrats determined lady  xxxxx fingers and toes crossed for a smooth and easy 8 months! 

Caro - great news on starting. Not long left now. 

Crazy - people just don't understand the emotional load of IVF. they all know someone with a chuld from IVF so think it always works. They should be more considerate but people just aren't. Well done on biting your tongue!

hope I haven't missed anyone. batteries about to go.


----------



## Trin Trin

Evening

Thanks for the messages Sasha (hope you had a lovely birthday), Caro and Dolphins!!

Dolphins I know that feeling oh too well after a negative cycle, the sadness and wanting another but..... now you're entering into something new... DE. It's a path I would have been following next, if this one wasn't a success. To be honest although I need to think positively with this journey in my experience there's no guarantee so I may still have to embark your new journey also in the future. I don't know anything about the DCN but have always had to use donated sperm. My daughter is 11 and I still haven't decided whether we tell her or not.....I'm sure through your research you'll find what feels comfortable not forgetting the financial impact this has on us all. Take care my love xx

Caro Great news you've started stimming....not long to go. Please keep us updated with how you're getting on X

Floozie - Welcome to a lovely supported thread. 

Kl - Determined maybe, but let's face it.....you're equally determined and also experienced the painful and cruel side to this and like me you're still striving towards the golden prize..a take home baby!!!  but as you know this is one step of many. All I can do is take it in stages and try to believe that this 'could' be my time🙏


----------



## Carter4

Wahooo to starting stimms caro. Guessing you will have a scan mid next week, so fx the increased dose is your missing ingredient.

Crazy send those 2 out of 6 my way, I'll sort 'em out for ya,  .

floozie hope this final cycle of yours is 'the one'.

Trin thinking of you while on countdown to your scan. Any symptoms creeping in? Did you have them with DD1?


----------



## caro8500

Welcome to Floozie - where are you up to on your cycle?

Trin...hope you hanging on in there...when will your first scan be?

Thanks Carter...my scan will be Wednesday. Feeling bit bloated, nauseous, little light headed and strangely pressure on my pelvic floor? So something deffo happening in there. Roll on Weds


----------



## Trin Trin

Morning 

Carter I've had 2 major pregnancies after my daughter but sadly ended in losses just before week 12s in 2011 and this year. Each time the dreaded morning or all day sickness kicks in by week 6. With my daughter it lasted until week 13. So far I'm just really hungry constantly, severely bloated, windy and gassy either feeling constipated or the complete opposite where it's loosish!! Doing okay just hard with my track record to feel relaxed although I'm so grateful to have reached this stage🙏

It must be getting easier with the twins now or is it still hard but pleasurable work...

Caro Good luck with scan on Wednesday, egg collection shouldn't be that far away now. My scan is booked for 3 Dec when I'll be 7+1

Sasha hope you're okay, have you had any further scans. 

Kl and Crazy hope you're both good too X 

Floozie What stage are you with your current cycle?


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## Sasha1973

Trin I understand you're wary I think anyone would be with what you've been through, praying this is a really sticky one (or 2!) for you, it's lovely to have some positive news again on this thread hopefully the start of many big fat positives for you ladies. I hope dec 3rd comes around quickly for you.

Floozie welcome to this very friendly thread, good luck in your journey for a sibling.

Caro I hope your scan goes well on Wednesday, it won't be long before EC comes round now. 

Kl I hope you're well and the running is all on track to hit your goals. 

Crazy I hope you and DP are well too.

Carter those girls must be growing so big now, I hope you're all well and looking forward to a very special Christmas. 

Thank you all for thinking of me, I'm back to see the midwife tomorrow and in for another growth scan Thursday to see how twin 2 is doing and then I guess they'll make a decision from there. I'll be 33+1 by Thursday so every day I can keep them in is important but nerve wracking. Love to everyone xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Welcome aboard floozie, I hope this cycle is going well so far. Sorry your loss last cycle and all the very best this cycle.
Kl I hope you're doing ok with your regime and I hope your call comes soon with your right match. 
Trin, good to hear you're doing ok- that's so much of this journey. Everything crossed for your scan. Each time is different so try not to worry over every symptom or lack of. (Easier said than done!)
Carter thanks for your support!! I think I'm just gonna get more vague with my answers and just say I'll tell them when there's news. 
Caro, hope all ok and your scan this week shows lots of growth. 
Sasha, each and every day is a bonus, 32 weeks is good point though, so try not to worry too much (again easy to say!). I'm a nicu nurse so if you've any questions feel free to ask. Hopefully though twin 2 will have had a spurt and you will be good for few more weeks.
Dolphins, hope you're ok and looking after yourself. How you getting on with search?
Sorry if I've missed anyone. 
At the moment we are ok, feeling aware of coming due date and sadness that brings. Sad that we lost chance to be pregnant by that point but back on the wagon for eating, fluids and vitamins.


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## floozie_fay

I hope all goes well with the scan Sasha.

I've just had my blood test this morning & start stimming Wednesday. I can't wait. I'm very aware of just how grumpy & miserable the buserelin is making me & I'm so hungry & craving things I normally don't want. 

Here's to a healthy & happy 8 months Trin Trin. Lots of positive thoughts


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## Carter4

caro - Good luck for your scan tomorrow. Hope it reveals lots of follies for you .

Trin - Well your symptoms sound really promising, but totally get why you're trying to keep a level head. Roll on the 3rd eh?!

Sasha - Hope your mw appt went okay today? Tonnes of luck for your smaller twin at tomorrow's scan.

Crazy -   for your due date, must be very difficult for you both.

floozie - Hope your stimms help with eliminating the buserelin side effects. 

KL - How are you?


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## Trin Trin

Caro - hope your scan went well today. Have you Ben given any indication when EC will be?

Floozie - stims start today!!! I always see stims as the stage where it's not too long to go for EC.  I think during all my cycles my body became immune to the drugs and no longer affected my moods. Look forward to hear how you get on. Thank you for the well wishes 

Crazy - Due dates are hard to get through, especially the first one. I just accept that I know they will affect me and will feel sad leading up to and the days. Always thinking what if.......take care 

Carter - yes it's so difficult for me to feel confident and that's a shame. Now feeling really bloated feel like I can pop. Constipation or loose movements. Achy back too....mid upper. Too scared to test again which is crazy..... no clue how things are progressing. We shall see......

Sasha - hope your appointment goes well.....

Kl - hope your doing okay xx


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## Carter4

Trin - Keep sticking sweet little embies, I'm reckoning it's more than one for you!!!


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## caro8500

Thanks Carter and Trin and Crazy. Scan fine on weds, back again sat for another scan, EC almost certainly going to be monday. Feeling bloated, exhausted and sick but strangely positive! 

Good luck with Stimms floozie - you're not far behind

Trin...know what you mean about being scared to test - I never dare even do one pregnancy test after my initial blood test throughout the whole of my pregnancy! 

Sasha.. hope scan went well with twin no 2

Crazy...really hard to think about what could have been, hope you are managing to stay positive x


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## Trin Trin

Carter - More than 1!! I'm freaking out panicking nothing is there, just so scared this time round it's ridiculous!! 

Caro - glad scan went well and hope tomorrow confirms all is well for EC on Monday. I also feel bloatededness leading up to EC. Keep us posted. I used to be a serial tester and has confirmed good and bad news. Too scared to test again...

Hi everyone else X


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## Crazy_frog

Floozie hope you're ok and stims OK for you. 
Caro, hope all ok with scan today and hoping you have drug free day tomorrow. Fingers crossed for good number of eggs in Monday. 
Trin I can understand staying away from tests, it's great that you can and I hope that this is a great indicator! Not too long now and although I understand the worry and fear, fingers crossed this time will be different. 
Sasha I hope you're scan went ok and twins are behaving! 
Kl, hope you're doing ok. 
Thanks for all the kind words,


----------



## Trin Trin

Just a quickie from me.
Caro if EC is tomorrow wishing you good luck!!
Sasha hope the scan went okay and one of the girls have caught up.
Floozie - how you finding stimming?
Kl- How you doing? I hope okay X
Carter - Please don't stop praying for me🙏
Crazy - We're all here to support each other no matter what we're going through x

Ps did anyone have an aching back in early pregnancy? Not painful just niggling in the mid upper area. When the constipation goes it feels better. Not constant just time to time. I guess I need to stop over analysing and wait 10 days for my scan.....


----------



## Carter4

Trin - Believe me, considering we've never met in the flesh, I'm praying the hardest I have ever done. I had backache with J&E at the very beginning. I remember finding it particularly unnerving because it was the main symptom I had with my one and only biochemical. This second wait is always way harder than the 2ww. Hang in there. When you're faltering, I'll keep the faith for you x

caro - Hope your scan went okay yesterday? You never mentioned numbers, so I'm hoping you're as happy as you can be with your progress thus far? Keep the pma going hun, lots of luck for your EC tomorrow x

Hi to everyone else


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## caro8500

Thanks Crazy, Trin and Carter. Got 12 eggs! Really pleased as most I've ever had before is 8. Its all about the fertilisation and quality now though. In quite a lot of discomfort. Hot water bottle and bed evening for me. x


----------



## Carter4

Well done caro, excellent starting point. Fingers mega tightly crossed for your all important fertilisation call tomorrow. Rest up, and try to get a good kip tonight x


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## Sasha1973

Caro that's an excellent amount of eggs! Fingers crossed for tomorrow's fertilisation call


----------



## Trin Trin

Fabulous news Caro!!!! Fingers crossed for the next few days🙏 X


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## Crazy_frog

That's great Caro, hope you're ok. Hope phone call good this morning and that next few days go ok.


----------



## caro8500

Thanks everyone. 7 fertilised. Had hoped for a few more from 12 eggs but feeling ok about it for now. Feeling bit rough today physically. Ovary pain on and off .. hoping it settles soon x


----------



## Trin Trin

Well done Caro!!! 7 is a good night number and that's 60% fertilisation. We always feel disappointed with numbers but 7 is a strong starting point. I'm sure you'll get a good couple out of those. Fingers crossed for the next few days 🙏


----------



## Sasha1973

Caro lucky 7 is a good strong number, fingers crossed they all grow well and you have some fab little embryos to put back


----------



## Carter4

......don't be disappointed caro, 7 is a good second starting point. Fx for another positive call tomorrow. Are you aiming/hoping to get to blast stage, or just playing it by ear for now? Feeling very excited for you x


----------



## caro8500

Thanks everyone. Carter...I'm scared of going for blasts as I've always had day 3 transfers and none have grown to blasts (I've never had any to freeze). The only time I did try to get to blasts with 3 good embryos on day 3, they were slow to develop and by day 5 they hadn't reached blast stage and still looked like day 4 embies. I know ideally the clinic aim for blasts but we'll just have to take it day by day. I think they are going have to really convince me to try for blasts but I guess it depends how many are looking good at day 3. The nerves are starting to kick in now! Just want them back in.xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

That's brilliant news Caro, fingers crossed for next few days. I understand your nerves and I always prefer when they're "home" too. I guess See how they look on day 3 and discuss with team then. Hope you're feeling better now x


----------



## caro8500

Arghhh, having a bit of a meltdown. They've rung today to say 4 doing well (2x6 cell, 1x7 cell and 1x8 cell) and they were wanting to grow on to day 5. I discussed my concerns with them and they said they are happy to do day 3 transfer of 2. So after deliberation we are going with day 3 transfer. Just really stressing to whether I've made the right decision. Anyway better go get ready as need to leave soon x


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## Sasha1973

Caro to reassure you I would've done the same as you and had a 3 day transfer, I've never made it to blast either so would be wary and I firmly believe getting them back in mummy asap is always the best option. I'll be thinking of you today, not long now until your pupo, hope your transfer goes nice and smoothly xx


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## Crazy_frog

I understand your worry, but like Sasha we also went for day 3, if the best 2 are put back then other 2 can continue to day 5, but remember best 2 already home! Try to feel confident in your decision and what's right for you. Hope transfer is smooth and all goes well, good luck for next bit of wait. X


----------



## Trin Trin

Caro I also agree with the others. My clinic would only go to blast if it isn't clear which are the strongest embies. So if all were at the same development stage then they can't tell. It's clear your 8 and 7 cell are the most advanced. I would have made the sane choice as you too!!

Hope all went well this morning and let's hope the 2ww flies by!!!


----------



## caro8500

Thanks everyone. Transfer was fine and back home chilling out now. Embies had developed further and had one 9 cell and one 8 cell put back. There's one more, now 7 cell that potentially might do something, but the others not looking as good. Happy now they are back in. Let knicker watch commence! x


----------



## Sasha1973

That's excellent Caro congratulations on being pupo. The two you had put back sound really really good, sending you positive vibes. When's your otd?


----------



## floozie_fay

Congrats Caro. All the best for the 2ww


----------



## Carter4

Yay caro, you're pupo, yippeee, and with that little bit of extra information regarding your embies progress too. You must be feeling good, I do hope so?! Fx your seven cell provides you with a potential frostie, but just know the best two are back on board. Tonnes of luck for the torture of the 2ww. Care to share otd? x


----------



## caro8500

Thanks everyone. OTD is 9th Dec - day before my birthday! Bit of deja vu as was in the exact same position last year which obviously didn't end up being the best birthday.... but maybe better luck this year. xx


----------



## Carter4

.......well here is hoping you do a massive u-turn this time around caro. I remember when the twins otd was a year to the day that we experienced our first ever failed fertilisation cycle (still floors me now, if I ponder long enough).........you can do it.......come on caro.....whoop whoop x


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

just popping on quickly to say congratulations being pupo ith 2 fab embies Caro!! Heres hoping to a quick 2ww and a nice big fat    for Christmas!! xxx


----------



## Nic2016

Hey all, 

I am back after our second round is I in 2011 resulted BFP DS now 4 and we are giving this one last go. We have frozen swimmers I completed my trigger tonight and due for egg collection Tuesday morning. 

Is it just me or after having a success in my last attempt and knowing this is our very last go I am so much more emotional and anxious!!!


----------



## floozie_fay

Nic2016 said:


> Hey all,
> 
> I am back after our second round is I in 2011 resulted BFP DS now 4 and we are giving this one last go. We have frozen swimmers I completed my trigger tonight and due for egg collection Tuesday morning.
> 
> Is it just me or after having a success in my last attempt and knowing this is our very last go I am so much more emotional and anxious!!!


Same for us. After our success with our little boy in 2013 & a miscarriage earlier this year, we're now on the last of our frozen swimmers. It's scary but in a way thinking I won't have to go through all the drugs again regardless of the outcome feels good... Whatever happens we've got our gorgeous little man!


----------



## floozie_fay

PS I'm in for EC Tuesday too. I'm getting excitement butterflies.


----------



## caro8500

Good luck for egg collection Nic and Floozie. Hope you get lots of juicy ones!

I'm a nervous wreck. Forgotten how tough this waiting business is. Also had none to freeze again! One reached blast but just wasn't good enough quality. Knocked my confidence a bit 

x


----------



## Nic2016

Floozie we are in exactly the same boat!! I am every emotion today!! Very early start for us. Got the be at hospital of 7am we first on the list so have to leave at 6am!! DS excited to be going to Nannys for breakfast!! 

Caro8500- my last cycle was poor I had a day 3 emb put back and he is now my son!!!! Once they in its the best place for them xxxxxx


----------



## Sasha1973

Good luck for EC tomorrow floozie and Nic, fingers crossed you get lots of juicy eggs. 

Caro sorry you didn't get any frosties this time, rest assured your two best ones are already back where they belong and it's a good sign that your other one made it to blast even though wasn't of a freezing quality. How are you finding the 2ww this time around?

Love to everyone else xxx


----------



## caro8500

Its just as torturous Sasha! Variety of physical ailments, Mood up and down like a yo yo and not sleeping well. In fact been awake since before 3pm! Its going to be a long day x


----------



## caro8500

3am even!


----------



## Trin Trin

Good luck Floozie and Nic with EC today!

Caro - Try not to worry about not having any Frosties.....the best two are developing inside you. My day 5 wasn't good enough to freeze but the others clearly did some good as I tested positive. Positive thoughts for next week. The wait is awful during the 2ww....I usually find the 2nd harder than the 1st. Really hope this will be the best ever birthday gift for you🙏

AFM 7 weeks tomorrow and scan Thursday. Sickness started but no where near as bad as last time. No bleeding....so need to remain positive. Nervous and anxious for Thursday😕


----------



## Sasha1973

Caro the 2ww is so hard, I remember being up and down like a yoyo too, fingers crossed that you'll get a bfp and won't have to go through it again. I feel your pain on the insomnia, I haven't had a good nights sleep since before stimming!!! But it'll all be worth it of course when the little ones arrive  

Trin 7 weeks already, has it gone quick for you this time? I can imagine you must be nervous and excited for Thursday, I'm keeping everything crossed that your little bean/s are doing well  

Nic and Floozie hope your ec's have gone well, looking forward to hearing your news  

Hope everyone else is well

We're in for a growth scan again Thursday to check on the smaller baby's progress, so hoping she's put on a few oz's and I can make it to section day


----------



## Nic2016

Hey girlie, 


A whooping 21 eggs collected. No idea grades etc until tomorrow. Needless to say I am a little sore. 

Floozie how did you get on? 

How is everyone else doing?. Xxx


----------



## Nic2016

So just had a call and out of 21 20 eggs good to go. 

Due to our MF the swimmers were not grea. They managed to find some motile sperm and have injected 12. I had a call asking what to do with the other 8 and as this is truly our last go I said inject anyway and see what happens!!! 

Why do I feel sick each time they call me!!! 

Now await a call tomorrow and see how our little dots are doing


----------



## Nic2016

Well ladies had the call...... 6.... We have 6!!!! We have never had 6 before!!!!!!!   also they will be taking them t day 5!!!!! We have never had that either..... And just to round it all off they even said we could freeze some   

I am trying not to get to excited but this cycle is so much diffirent from prev 2 so extremely hopeful xx


How are you ladies doing?? I am trying to get to grips with who is who so I can message individuals I will get there xxxx


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## caro8500

Great news Nic. Hope you get some really good quality blasts and having some to freeze is an extra bonus...never managed it myself yet. Hope you aren't feeling too sore after your egg collection.

Hope all ok with you Floozie

Trin. The weeks are creeping by but it must seem like an eternity to you. You must be understandably anxious about your scan but hopefully it will give you some re assurance. no bleeding so far is a good sign. Are you still taking meds or has all that stopped now?

Sasha Good luck for your growth scan. When's your section date again? You must be getting close now. How are you feeling about it all?

Well i had awful pain really low down and shooting pain in my groin all day yesterday and today feel nothing! what's all that about. Trying to distract myself but its hard. Hubbie took me to see Specture yesterday which was a nice little trip out. 

x


----------



## KLconfused

Hi all 
Sorry ive been awol. Just needed a break really. 

Trin - best of luck for tomorrows scan. Its understandable your scared but It sounds like things have been going very smoothly so far and that's a great sign. Heres hoping for 1/2/3 hbs tomorrow 

Caro - best of luck on your 2ww. So hard not to symptom spot. Hopefully todays pains are embryo growing pains. 

Hello to the newbies.

Sorry no more personals. in a real rush today. AFM have finally got a donor. I go in for my teach session 15th Dec, donor starts drugs 27th Dec and I think I start a bit before her. Trying to sort out moving the sperm from ARGC to care and sign all the forms etc. What a palava. Bit stressed since we got told last week about donor. Thought id be happy but im just dreading being on the rollercoaster again, ive already started counting days. I really think this has to be the last try as I don't think I can go on much longer. Bit gutted everyone on here who started with me is getting their babies (caro im sure it will be BFP). Just not sure when I turned in to the unlucky person whom others feel sorry for. Never was me for the first 34 years of my life. Anyway I just hope im pregnant for my birthday in March. Im feeling too old for nappies and sleepless nights now. I need to get some belief back that this could actually work.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Caro, the best two are with you. Try to stay positive, hard as it is. 
Trin, thinking of you tomorrow, maybe you'll be carrying on the multiples this thread has had with Sasha and Carter?? Let us know how many hbs!
Nic that's great news, grow little embies. 
Floozie hope all is ok. 
Kl, great news about donor, exciting and nerve wracking waiting and sorting all to start. Fingers crossed new year, new luck for us both. 
Hey to everyone, I've lost track post night shifts where everyone is!!
No news from us as we are in the horrid wait. X


----------



## Carter4

Trin I hope your scan today brings you wonderful news. Can't wait to hear how many hb's!

Hi to Nic, it sounds as if you are having a very positive cycle so far, what fab numbers. Good luck with your blast transfer.

floozie I hope your EC went well yesterday?

caro fx those symptoms you are feeling are the real McCoy   you get a bfp.

Crazy you're absolutely right, it is another type of horrid wait. I hope you have enough festive distractions to make the time go that little bit faster.

Sasha fx for your growth scan tomorrow.

KL you've been missed.......fantastic news that you are due to start imminently. I hope you are as happy as you can be with your donor? Can categorically say that I do not feel sorry for you hun, frustrated maybe at the unfairness of it all. I so hope this cycle is the one.


----------



## Nic2016

Hi ladies, 

So I have mild to moderate OHSS!!!! Explains why I have felt more pain this time round. But only symptom is pain in a do and bloating...... So I guess I got it easy but need to keep an eye on it. 


Floozie ow did your collection go? 

Kl confused  this is amazing news how are you feeling? 

Caro it's good to keep busy!!!!!


----------



## floozie_fay

I got 6 eggs. 3 are currently good quality 4 cells & 1 is lagging behind as it matured later. That's good for me!!


----------



## Nic2016

Floozie that's great!! Our cycle response was different this time too!! Fingers crossed xxx


----------



## Trin Trin

Thanks everyone for your messages!!

I have one baby on board with a strong heartbeat measuring 7weeks...I'm 7+1. The other two implanted too but did not develop and can be seen on the scan. They said they will either absorb or result in a small bleed, I really hope they will absorb as bleeding last time petrified me. Scan booked for 23rd when I'm 10 weeks, but the next 3 weeks is a scary time for me as this is the period I always miscarry.....can't lie I'm so scared and can't even begin to feel happy. Of course I'm happy but I think you know what I mean....

Nic and Floozie great news re EC and their development!!

Kl - lovely to hear from you and I'm so glad you have a match and you can start prior to Xmas. This journey as I always say is just unpredictable and unfair. I feel sad you feel the way you do, I too can say I do not feel sorry for you, more annoyed with the rollercoaster of this journey. Years ago being in my position I was naive to think it's a done deal and 9 months later I'll have a baby. With my history and like you too we have suffered more than one loss, so I have many more hurdles to climb. I wish sometimes I could just be given a baby as pregnancy now scares me:-( I am behind you 100% and hope this cycle is the lucky one you so deserve xx

Caro - hope your doing okay. Those symptoms sound good to me 🙏

Sasha - hope your scan goes well today..

Crazy, Carter, Pene thank you as always for your support xx


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## Carter4

Whoop whoop Trin, just think all three implanted at one stage, flippin' ek eh?!  I'm so pleased you got to see one heartbeat flashing away. Wonderful news. Bless you for not feeling happy though, all you can do is dig deep, and try to distract yourself as much as possible between now and then. I hope with all my being that you do not experience another mc. Hold on tight Junior Trin x


----------



## Trin Trin

Thanks Carter. 3 would be scary indeed!! But you prove 2 isn't too bad. I'm going to try my best to keep positive and hope this is my lucky cycle!! I'm contemplating weekly scans but is that being excessive and would it make me feel better. Week 9 is really the crucial week as I've seen healthy heartbeat and baby at 8....by week 10 it hasn't progressed and stops growing. My symptoms and sickness apart from tiredness also today feels much better....surely it needs to worsen? You know what I need to stop over analysing.. I was sick 24/7 last time and it made no difference.

Right I need to take a chill pill. This will either be a great or a crap Xmas.....


----------



## Carter4

........a great Christmas Trin, great Christmas! 

Admittedly two has been hard, but totally worth it.

You need to do whatever you need to, to get through the next few weeks. It may be excessive or it may not be. There is really no right or wrong. I was going to say try and hold out, but I have not endured the same heartache as you. 

Despite having horrendous ms I still had blips. I remember taking DD1 for a walk in the park, and feeling so relieved to be out in the fresh air, and having some quality time with her, but underneath all of this I was secretly panicking in case something was wrong with babies. I was once told by my gp friend that as your hcg levels rise those that suffer with morning sickness have to adjust to the shift in hormones, then it plateau's, you feel better, then it surges again, you feel worse etc etc x


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## Crazy_frog

Trin I just popped in to see the news, that's great!! All 3 implanted wow!! Great they're scanning again, try not to worry (ha!) but you ultimately can't change the outcome, so just look after yourself and no regrets!! I can't imagine how worried you're gonna be over next few weeks, but try to enjoy. 
Sasha hope twins are ok and scan was good. 
Nic hope you feel better soon, drink lots. 
Floozie that's good news, fingers crossed for you. 
Blind panic now in preparing for Christmas!! And those with crazy December birthdays!


----------



## Nic2016

Loving the good news!!! 

Crazy-frog- I love Xmas so much but due to this cycle been hard to get in the spirt but you have helped so tomorrow we are getting our tree!! 

Trim- positive thoughts  

Floozie- how you doing? 


So ladies today is day 3 post EC and the clinic told me Wednesday morning if they had any concerns they would call us in today..... Well no call. We have never got to day 5 so the anxiety level I feel is unbelievable. I called them at lunch, nurse confirmed we still booked in for et Sunday and she would get the embryologist to call me to update on progress.... THEY DIDNT CALL arhhhhh this is worse than the 2ww 
I keep telling myself no news is good news!


----------



## caro8500

trin...Fabulous. so glad your scan went well. It feels like a series of hurdles, hopefully not many more to go through until you can start to feel a bit more comfortable about it all. 

Floozie...is it your transfer tomorrow or are you going to 5 days?

KL. Great that things are getting moving for you. Yes the process is horrible but keep focused on the end goal. Fingers tightly crossed that DE will make all the difference for you 

Nic..Bet you are on tenderhooks but they wouldn't take them to blast if they didn't think they looked good enough. I'm sure no news is good news. Are you going to ring again tomorrow

Sasha...how did your scan go, hope all ok 

Crazy. Hope you managing to get on top of the birthday/Christmas madness

Struggling today. If it hasn't worked, history would suggest I will get AF this weekend. Feeling so anxious about it. Even putting off going to the toilet as so scared what I might see. It seems to get harder every cycle. Just want to know now.


----------



## Trin Trin

Thanks for the positive words Carter, Crazy, Caro and Nic!! Feeling a bit more chilled and in just going to wait for 23rd.

Crazy, whose birthday is in December? Mine is on 20th and Caros is next week!!

Kl how's it going sorting everything out prior to starting shortly?

Nic no news to me is good news so fingers crossed for your transfer on Sunday.

Floozie when will you have your transfer?

Caro - I too at your stage can't cope with the not knowing. I know your OTD is 9th but if you were at my clinic the OTD would be the 7th basically 14 days after collection. Not persuading you to test earlier than you were told but clinics vary with the OTD. If you can't cope with waiting until Wednesday you could test on Monday with an accurate result.....hoping history does not repeat itself and AF stays away this weekend x


----------



## Nic2016

Thanks trin and caro8500 my nerves can't take it!!!


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## caro8500

Trin...If I make it till monday I might test early. I'd rather know via test than via AF any day. I've never made it to test date on all my failed cycles (and in previous clinic it always was 14 days after EC...but it was a blood test) Although meant to be back to work on Monday and not sure I'll be motivated to go in if get a BFN. We shall see xx


----------



## floozie_fay

My clinic doesn't book in ET's. We get a call on day 2 to update & then every day after until they decide to do the ET so you only get a couple of hours notice to come in!
My main 3 are still going strong with the 4th still lagging but still going so another call tomorrow... First time I've made it past day 3!

I hope everyone else is OK, I'll catch up on personals soon x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Hope transfers go wel today (or is it tomorrow)nic and floozie. 
Sasha, hope you and little ones are ok.
Caro, sounds similar to us, if no bleed at/before otd then all good!! Hopefully your birthday this year will be dual celebration. 
Trin it's dw on 18th and way too many family members throughout December!! Downside of big family that are all clumped together!! Ah well, time to get on again and stop moaning about it.


----------



## Carter4

caro hope AF is staying well away? Have you been tempted with a hpt yet?

Trin hope your nerves are holding steadfast?

Crazy good luck with your crimbo/b'day shopping.


----------



## Trin Trin

Crazy Have to admit having a December birthday is a pain!!

Nic and Floozie hope your transfers went okay. Floozie most clinics don't schedule transfers but see how they're developing each day but I wasn't sure what day you were on. Hope so is going okay.

Caro - praying AF has stayed  away and doesn't show again until a years time!! If you do test tomorrow good luck!! Not long to go now 🙏

Hi everyone else xx


----------



## Trin Trin

Sorry Carter, I'm trying to be patient wishing time to go quickly. I'm doing okay, sickness is manageable whereas last time it was awful!!


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## Nic2016

Thank you for thinking of me trin trin we had a perfect blast transferred today and out of the oridional 6 we had 3 today. The other 2 they are leaving over night and if they happy will freeze.  

PUPO omg yay OTD 17th xxxx


----------



## caro8500

Just a quick one to say AF has arrived and it's all over again! Had a slight bleed yesterday that then stopped, but AF today. Don't understand why after working 1st go its just not happening. It's not like I'm having chemicals...just nothing, not even a sniff of a pregnancy. It doesn't make sense to me. 

Pretty much given up hope that it's ever going to happen again. If it doesn't even work on a good cycle with good quality embies then when will it ever work.

Gutted for DS that he won't ever have a sibling. He's my whole world and such a sweet, happy little boy, He'd make such a great big brother.Gutted that I'll never go through all those milestones with another child. Feeling very down today


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## Carter4

Oh caro it's bl**dy brutal that's for sure, and it's no wonder you are down in the dumps. You're right in the thick of it today and will be for a while. I really hope you get some decent answers at your review, and based on that outcome perhaps give it that one last all out push for a final cycle. Big big (((((((hugs))))))) xx


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## Nic2016

Caro


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## Sasha1973

Caro I'm so very sorry to hear your news, we were all routing for you. I can understand why you're really down today it's going to take a while to feel better. Thinking of you and sending hugs


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## Trin Trin

Argghhhhhhhh!!!Caro I'm really sorry to read your news:-( taken me a while to reply as I just find this journey so damn unpredictable and unfair. I can understand your frustration and not understanding why it worked once and why it's not working since trying for a sibling. Just so unexplained.....of course you're feeling sad and low. Your message sounds like you're not going to try again.....I made a friend on FF who has a 5 year old and tried again for a sibling but each time nothing. She chose to stop and reached her point of not being able to continue. I guess we all will know when that point has been reached. Take the time needed to recover and see how you feel. I always find that after I've grieved I somehow find the strength to try again....god knows how!! Look after yourself and I'm thinking of you xx


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## Crazy_frog

Oh Caro, it's so cruel this journey and my thoughts with you. You do sound like your journey is finished and just remember that decision can be revisited as you need to. Take time to look after yourself and allow all those feelings.


----------



## caro8500

Thanks for all your messages. We signed up for (and paid for 2 cycles) so will cycle one last time. For me its not just the emotional toll of IVf/financial reasons. Its also that my Endometriosis is becoming debilitating and I feel I need to find a better way of managing it (probably a hysterectomy). I'm in agony again with it today and I'm finding I need to take stronger and stronger pain killers more and more often to try and get some pan relief. The long down regulation was the best bit of the cycle for me, I just feel so much better and have a better quality of life when everything is shut down. It's likely that my body is going to decide when enough is enough for me. x


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## Nic2016

Caro- I like you struggle with pain. I have adanomyosis which is very simalar but just localised to my uterus but is not a fertility issue. Having two rounds of icsi and my DS has made it so much worse and at 29 was informed the only treatment is a hysterectomy. But was informed they would not think about that as they knew I wanted another child!!! First time ever I was told to go away and have a baby..... Ye cause it's that easy!! I hope your being kind to yourself x


ATM-

So after only having ET Sunday of a blasto I promised myself I wouldn't over analyse everything. But I have had experienced cramping yesterday and today and I had the tiniest amount of pink yesterday and again today so now I am knicker watching!!! OTD not until the 17th I think I am going to go mad!!! I know it's all normal, it's could be the pessaries, it's could be implantation and it could be AF. As a nurse my logical self tells me to not over think but the mummy in me is terrified and it is a struggle. 

I may even write a book about this journey and the true agony that comes with it but also the high if you do get that oh so muchly wanted positive!!  

Feeling emotional right now as I want this so much. I know it has been said before, I should be so grateful for my darling son but I know he would adore a sibling and it does break my heart everyday. He has told people this week he will have a brother called Jake soon!!! He knows nothing about treatment just that mummy has a sore tummy (to stop him jumping up and down on it!) so I guess if we are blessed with another miracle Jake needs to be on our list!


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## Crazy_frog

Nic, firstly step away from Google!! It could be any or all of those things, the truth is you won't know. However it would seem highly likely to be from transfer and fingers crossed its implantation. This journey truly sucks, regardless of how many lovely and wonderful kids we have, if we would like more for our family, then it just isn't as easy as "yeah we'll try this month". The heartache and break along the way, the strain (of every type) and the secret "if it works now then".... Just never gets easier. Little ones are receptive and aware of so much. We felt our daughter was aware in April and then she stopped discussing her baby, everything changed shortly after for the negative.... She knew more than we did. May this (these?? I've forgotten already!!) become Jake and Jake-ssa for you and your family. 
Just like all of us on here, keep believing. (originally I wrote don't stop believing but now have than darn song stuck in my head!!). Hugs all round x


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## Nic2016

Thank you crazy frog it is a mind field. I feel a little brighter this morning but got boring meetings all day so no daught the brighter mood will vanish! 

Positive thoughts!


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## KLconfused

Caro - im so sorry to hear your news. The first weeks after a BFN are truly horrid so my thoughts are with you. Its good you can have another go though. Can you do anything different next time? Immunes etc? My daughter came from a FET from my first cycle and now 3 x IVF and 1 x FET and 12 IUI and 2 miscarriages. I don't get it either. I was so ill when I got pregnant with my daughter because I was newly diagnosed with crohns. Ive been in such a better place since with my health so it doesn't make sense at all. 

Trin - so pleased for you that your scan went well. Its understandable to still be scared but that feeling of being pregnant is wonderful so just enjoy that as much as you can and keep busy. Everything seems very quiet with this pregnancy and I think that's a great thing. 

Nic - the 2ww is tense. I cant tell you not to symptom spot as I do it all the time. Although the more cycles ive done I think the more ive switched off to it. Fingers crossed they are all BFP symptoms. 

Hope everyone else is OK. Thanks for the PM's from people after my last post. Sorry to be so doom and gloom. I hate myself for it. Weve started looking at schools for my daughter. She starts preschool next September and as usual life is on hold because of IVF. Where she goes depends on if it works or not and how much more we spend on it. I hate IVF always complicating things no matter what else is going on. 
AFM I finished the couch to 5k plan and can now run 30 mins 3 times a week. Yay. I haven't weighed myself but my jeans are much looser. I have still got flab to lose by end Jan so im planning to keep it up. If I can get back to my pre daughter weight and be very fit there really wont be anything I haven't done for fertility. Im at the clinic Tuesday 15th for injection teach (seems ironic I need a teach session!) and I start drugs 22nd Dec. Clinic seem a little disorganised still but I shall see how it goes next week. 

Hi to everyone else xx


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## kate28

Hi all, I haven't been on for a while, I have popped in and out but not been a regular visitor since I had my daughter in 2009 after 2 miscarriages.  
We have decided to try for a 2nd baby, this has been approx 2 years of casual trying, basically sex when we want it but with no protection.  We had agreed if it happens it happens, if it doesn't then we are so happy with our princess that I though that would be enough.  
I'm struggling with the fact that my sister last year decided to try for her 3rd baby, and was Preg within 3 weeks of making that decision, I'm so jealous that her boby works and mine doesn't.  Even my daughter age 6 now says when people ask if she has any brothers or sisters 'mummies tummy doesn't work properly', if nothing else it stops further questions.  
I'm so jealous that my sister can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and I can't. Then I get angry with myself that I feel that way. I don't want to tell my husband all this because we had agreed to not let it get to us and not to let it take over our sex life again BUT it's so hard!


----------



## Artypants

Hi kate

Congratulations on your daughter she is beautiful. I too had a very fertile older sister who could get pregnant on demand! I was so jealous, especially after she announced her 3rd pregnancy right after my last failed cycle of IVF and several miscarriages that i decided to not see her for a while, which turned into almost a year! I didn't see her newborn until her was 5 months old and even then i didn't really want to see them it was a horrible time. Your feelings are completely normal and its Ok to take a step back from things to protect yourself. i hope your not kept waiting too much longer for baby number 2 xxx


----------



## Charmars

Sorry to hear you are struggling. When my sister first fell pregnant I decided that I could either be jealous, or be the best dam auntie I could esp if that was as close as I was going to get to being a mum. I am lucky enough that I am now 38 weeks pregnant so my sisters 2nd pregnancy announcement wasn't a issue for me. My nephew thinks the world of me and I love him as my own, he stays over all the time and I will make sure that my child and my sisters children grow up almost like siblings.

I really hope you too can put a positive spin on this. 

I always knew if we were lucky enough to ever fall pregnant that we would only have 1 child as I can't put myself through treatment again, so I'm happy my sisters givingmy unborn child with cousins and family!


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## Trin Trin

Hi everyone

Caro - Hope you're doing okay and you were able to enjoy your birthday the best you could under the circumstances....look after yourself. Glad to hear you have another go and perhaps clinic will look at a change in protocol, further testing...

Nic - I hope you're not stressing too much during the 2ww wait and staying away from Google!!!

Floozie - Haven't heard from you so I'm hoping the wait isn't driving you too crazy either!

Sasha - Have you been given a confirmed date for delivery and did one of the girls catch up?

Crazy - Hope the December birthdays are not stressing you out. My DH always complains with my birthday being 5 days before Christmas. 

Kl - Lovely to hear from you. No need to apologise for expressing your feelings. Most of us have been doom and gloom many of times during our journeys. I did lol when you said attending a teach session!! The way I use the drugs you'd think I was a trained nurse....sure you're the same!! Glad to hear it's all starting again. Funny your daughter is starting primary school in September and mine is starting Secondary school. When we moved last year we moved near an excellent state school so I had no worries applying in October. For primary we were torn between private and state and chose state purely because we new we would have to try again with treatment. So I understand treatment being the forefront of other family decisions:-(

AFM I'm dealing with the sickness which is now day and evening. Before I used to he told it's a great sign but I was sick far worse last time...so it means nothing. I guess all seems quiet this time is because touch wood there's been no dramas with continuous bleeds like last time. That I see as a positive. Counting days down until 23rd, have a midwife appointment on 16th but not sure if I'm going yet....we'll see.

Hey Carter, hope all is well with u and the girls. Pene - I know you stalk us hope you're good too xx


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## Sasha1973

Nic & Floozie I hope the 2ww is going well for you both, fingers crossed you get positive news soon 

Trin it's good to hear you've not had any bleeding or anything that's a really positive sign. Is your next scan on 23rd? It's hard not to worry I know but be positive, this is your time. Yes I've got a section date for next week so not long to go now, there's still about a pound difference between the two at the last scan but they were both well so fingers crossed. I'm being monitored closely now as have high BP and bloods aren't quite normal etc

Caro thinking of you, hope you're getting through this hard time, it's good you have another cycle but make sure you look after yourself. 

Crazy hope you're not getting too stressed with the December birthdays, the twins may share DW birthday as that's the date they've given me currently. 

Kl I think we all understand how you feel so don't worry about that, we're all here if you need to chat, glad you've got donor and things are starting to happen again for you. 

Carter hope the girls are all well and you're looking forward to a busy Christmas. 

Penelope lovely that you're still here following us all 

I hope I haven't missed anyone X


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## Crazy_frog

Nic hope you survived your meetings!! How you feeling now?
Floozie hope all ok with you, good luck with 2ww. 
Kl well done with fitness regime that's great news. Don't worry about being down, we've all been there and felt it for various reasons. Hope all goes well with teach session(!) and hope they get more organised. It's hard to put faith in clinics sometimes, but they will be doing their best (maybe even if it's in the background). 
Trin sorry you're feeling sick so much, it is meant to be good but it's hard not to compare to previous cycles. See how you feel about midwife, but I'm sure it'll just be so they have enough time to arrange nhs scans which will be extra reassurance for you. Everything crossed for you, but hopeful for you. 
Caro hope you're doing ok and your birthday was celebrated in which ever way you felt right. 
Sasha, glad all still planned for next week for you, hope bloods stay ok. Twins will be fine at this point, each day is a bonus. Just take t easy and hopefully you're all ready for Xmas anyway, and if not....well you've got twins so who cares!!! 
Carter and Penelope hope you guys are all ready for christmas and aren't too stressed by all preparations.
Thanks everyone, Christmas and birthdays sorted (almost) and now the major task of wrapping and visiting. Ah well it'll be fine. Sadly I'm working Christmas Day so it'll be bit odd, but next year I'll be off and dare I allow my thoughts to jump ahead, but maybe, just maybe we'll be 4.....


----------



## Carter4

caro I'm sorry to hear that your endometriosis is so painful, it must be awful to live with. Have you booked your review yet?

KL it does seem a bit pointless having to bother with the injection teach doesn't it? I guess because you are new to them they want to cross the 't's' and dot the 'i's'! Really hope this is the one for you hun.

Trin you have my sympathy on the relentless sickness. Draining is an understatement. I know you won't want to moan for fear of being tactless. Go to your mw appt on the 16th and dare to believe!

Crazy YOU WILL BE FOUR!!

Wow you're nearly there Sasha. In case I don't get on before, good luck with your cs next week.

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## Nic2016

Well all over for us. 

AF arrived and letter from clinic our other 2 embryos weren't suitable to freeze! 

At least we tried x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Oh nic I'm sorry it's so cruel when you don't get to test date, it seems very early from transfer though, when was otd? We're all here to listen should you need. Look after yourself.


----------



## Sasha1973

Nic so very sorry to hear this   It does seem early though aren't you 5dp5dt? Are you 100% sure it's not implantation bleeding. Such a hard journey X


----------



## natasha0483

Hi,

Can I join you? Today was OTD for our first go at IVF and it was a BFN. Feeling very sad but want to try again asap. Having IVF has made me much more desperate to have another child - before we started treatment I was more "if it happens, great, but if not we still have our lovely DS". I guess it's impossible to stay calm and collected and measured about things when every day for weeks you're actively trying your hardest to make it happen, paying attention to every tiny twinge in your body, willing it to work.  

So sorry to hear your news, Nic. Let's be kind to ourselves the next few days.. 

Hello to everyone else  

Natasha x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Hi Natasha sorry to hear about your bfn. Hope you're doing ok. 
We're off for the great present drop drop today so we wil have more room!!! Hope everyone's doing ok.


----------



## Trin Trin

Nic - So sorry to read your news..... I was hoping perhaps it was too soon for AF and hoping to see another post perhaps. I feel so sad. Take care my love xx

Natasha - Welcome and sorry to hear your news too. Will you be trying again?

Caro hope you're okay xx

Sasha - Good luck for this week, wishing you and the girls a safe delivery....bet you can't wait to meet them. This has to be the best Christmas gifts EVER💝


----------



## hiltra

Hi all

Thought I would pop in for a bit of advice. Hope you are all keeping well.

We had our beautiful twin girls in August 2013.
Following that treatment, we had 3 x embryos frozen - one of good grade and two of average/borderline.

We are now thinking about having one more go and have booked a consultation at the clinic for next May.
I thought we would have the one good grade transferred. However, my partner thinks we should transfer one good and one average to increase our chances.

The thing is, I'd love to have just one baby this time....

What are your thoughts please?
xxx


----------



## active

Hiya ladies,


Please may I join.


I wanted advice on trying naturally ie any useful hints and tips....also can anyone briefly explain the use of ovulation test ie-if I tested positive do we try at that time. Any advice would be greatful. Hope to get to know you all soon.


Love Ax


----------



## Crazy_frog

Just a flying visit. Sasha just wanted to wish you all the best for tomorrow. Hope everything goes to plan for you all.


----------



## Sasha1973

Crazy thank you that's really kind of you, I'll let you know when they've arrived. I hope your DP has a lovely birthday tomorrow too


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Good luck for today Sasha!!! Soooo exciting!!! Wishing you and the twins a safe delivery and look forward to hearing your news xx


----------



## Sasha1973

They arrived yesterday Friday 18th! They're both doing really well, Martha Eden was born at 1.17pm and weighed 4lb 15oz and Lauren Elizabeth was born at 1.19pm and was 5lb 8oz. 

I'm a bit poorly though as my uterus wouldn't contract back down so have been pummelled to within an inch of my life and feel very bruised but all in all a good experience. DP felt faint so had to leave the room so they took the sheet down and I was able to see them being born which was fab


----------



## Crazy_frog

Congratulations Sasha!! Glad twins good and hope you have a speedy recovery. Enjoy a wonderful time with them before the craziness. Take care of yourself and let us know how you get on. X


----------



## Carter4

Congratulations on the birth of your twin girls Sasha, loving the names, Martha was on my short list too! Try and look after yourself as best you can, given your uterus ordeal. No mean feat when you have twinnies though. Had a little chuckle to myself when I read about your partners very own ordeal, but great that there was an upshot to it. All the best, hold on tight for the ride of your life xx


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## KLconfused

sasha - many congrats. such lovely news. Hope your recovering well. 

Trin - best of your luck for your scan in a few days. Sounds quiet which is think is a positive sign. xx

Caro and dolphins and Nic - hope your Ok. 

Active - cant really help on the trying naturally bit as ive never had that luxury. I think there is a trying naturally chat?

Hiltra - id always got for 2 embryos but if you have the money for 2 cycles instead of 1 then split them out. I can imagine 2 sets of twins to look after would be a big challenge!

Natasha - im with you. I was calm until I started trying for baby 2, 2 years ago and since I started trying ive become desperate. IVF has taken over my life again no matter how much ive said I wont let it. 

AFM - went to clinic Tuesday. cried buckets when I left. cant believe im still doing this. I hate the drugs, the clinic visits, the hope and despair. really struggling. Starting drugs Monday and really uncertain about bothering. Really struggling to hand over the money too. It harder knowing that's a year of daughters schooling - well more actually. I just cant believe this could actually work.I sat in the clinic and I suddenly had the feeling hit me that ill never feel being pregnant again. It took my breathe away.  Sorry for the negativity again. I really must kick myself up the bum and have a big dose of positivity.


----------



## Carter4

Feel a bit bad for not acknowledging the newer posters, apologies, was in a rush earlier. I may not be the best placed to respond, since I only pop back occasionally to cheer on some wonderful ladies who gave me so much support when I was cycling.

Hi Natasha - Sorry to see you joining this thread under the naff bfn grey cloud. Good luck for when/if you try again.

hiltra I am a twin mummy of six moth old girls and also have a nearly three year old daughter. This combination has been quite combustible at times, in the main down to one of my twin girls really resisting sleep, and demanding attention in a way that we have never known. The thought of a fourth in the mix is beyond overwhelming. Due to these circumstances I would only encourage one transferred, not to mention being a mummy to one is completely different to a mummy of two, and it would be lovely for you to have that experience. Hope that helps a little?

active - I'm afraid I can't really help, as I never paid strict attention to this part of trying to conceive naturally. Hope you get your miracle.

KL - It's no wonder you are feeling so negative after all you have been through. Let that tiny bit of hope flicker away in the background, and just crack on with it. Try not to give a damn either way, not because I believe it will have an impact on the outcome, but because you need to self preserve. I can't even begin to express how much I hope that this works for you this time.


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## Penelope Pitstop

Congratulations Sasha!! I love the names too. Wishing you a quick recovery. 

Kl, I'm glad things are moving forward for you but I totally understand why you aren't feeling enthusiastic about it. You've been through a lot. I agree with Carter, you need to approach this cycle with an 'I don't give a damn if it works or not attitude' (I know that's a lot easier said than done) just to protect yourself. I have absolutely everything crossed that this cycle is the ONE!!! 

Caro, thinking of you and hope you are ok? 

Hi to everyone else xxx


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## caro8500

Just a really quick one to say congratulations sasha. So happy your twin girls have arrived safely.Hope you are managing to get some rest and feeling a bit better x

I'll catch up properly with everyone soon...too many Christmas do's recently and not used to drinking. Feel like I need a week in bed! 

xxx


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## Trin Trin

Congratulations Sasha!💝💝 wonderful news, lovely names and I did lol re DH....bless him!! Hope you're recovering okay. Best Christmas gifts EVER!!

Kl Sorry to hear you're struggling.....your emotions and feelings are totally okay BUT you have to have the hope and belief that it can work. Deep down you have the element of hope or you wouldn't be trying again....albeit the struggle and how its all making you feel. It's okay to have a wobble and to feel negative at times, but it's the hope and the possibility that keeps you going. You are a determined, strong woman and you will get through this. YOU WILL!! As always we are here to listen and provide the support you need during it all.

Thank you for the well wishes for Wednesday.....yes all is quiet but my past haunts me so I don't feel confident at all, which is sad because there is nothing to suggest so far that anything could be wrong. We'll see....

Caro great to hear from you. Glad to hear you're out and about .....think the older we get it takes longer to recover after a few drinks!!

Actro - I have never been able to try naturally but my daughter was conceived with natural iui using ovulation kits. Once surge detected the next 48 hours are your most fertile days. Good luck!!

Hiltra - I'm one for maximising chances of success but like Carter says if you have little ones already I guess this really will affect the choices you make. 

Hi to everyone else xx


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## hiltra

Thank you ladies - that was really helpful

Hello to all and hope you're OK and looking forward to the Christmas break!

Congrats Sasha - lovely news! It brought back memories hearing of your new arrivals! Enjoy xx

Sending lots of   to those who have received BFN recently.

and best wishes to those who have received BFP  

xxx


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## natasha0483

Sasha - congratulations! Lovely names. Hope you're feeling better soon! 

Trin - yes, we've signed up to try again next cycle (starting mid-January). It was mild IVF using low doses of stims so apparently ok to carry on straight away.. I guess this means Christmas won't be the booze- and chocolate-fest I'm craving! I hope your scan goes well, fingers crossed for you.

Hiltra - Tricky one but if you'd prefer just one baby this time and can afford separate cycles I would do that... 

KL - I really feel for you, the lack of control over something you really want more than anything is enough to send even the calmest person up the wall. If you can adopt the "don't care either way" attitude that would probably help, but it's so hard - I managed it until the second week of the 2WW, when I was a total wreck. Has your clinic changed anything this cycle or are you on the same protocol as before?

Carter - thanks! It did feel like a grey cloud for a while, but looking ahead now to our second go.

Afm, at our follow-up at the clinic we were told that it's likely that egg quality was an issue in our failed ICSI (poor fertilisation rate and then low-grade embryos). Bit of a shock as we'd thought that DH's crap sperm was the only issue. Anyway, we're changing from Gonal F to Menopur next time and using lower doses - hopefully I'll still get a decent number of eggs, but better quality. Fingers crossed..

xx


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## Carter4

Trin just bobbin on to wish you all the luck in the world for your scan tomorrow. I do so hope everything is tickety-boo. 

natasha hope the change of protocol does the trick for you.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS to you all       . Hope Santa grants some extra special wishes xxx


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## Penelope Pitstop

Good luck for tomorrow trin xx


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## caro8500

Trin, hope your nerves are bearing up...will be thinking of you xx


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## Crazy_frog

Trin, sounds great that everything has been quiet for you. Will be thinking of you today, I hope you can finally relax after today and enjoy! Let us know how you get on. 
Sorry for lack of personals, I've today off to prepare for Christmas Eve (German grandparents) so it all kicks off then!! I hope everyone and their families have a wonderful time together. X


----------



## Trin Trin

Thanks Carter, Crazy and Caro....I was a wreck this morning and broke down before the scan. All is well and baby is developing nicely. Scan was very through checking spine, skull, brain, fingers and toes etc!! I am feeling very happy and that bit more confident. I'm 10 weeks today day and baby is measuring 10w2d.

Thank you all for your support during all of this. 

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and hoping in 2016 all our dreams can come true xx


----------



## Trin Trin

Oh Pene just saw your message too. Thank you xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Amazing news Trin, that's brilliant. Hope you can now relax and enjoy Christmas. X


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Fab news Trin!!!


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## Carter4

Fantastic news Trin, so happy for you, what a lovely early Christmas present xx


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## Trin Trin

Thanks everyone!! I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas & birthday gift


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## KLconfused

trin that's fantastic news. Im sure you will fly through the next 30 weeks. So pleased for you xx


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## Trin Trin

Thank you Kl!! How's the meds going? I hope all is okay xx


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## caro8500

Trin...Phew, great relief I bet and great news! .Enjoy your Christmas 

Happy Christmas Everyone. Here's hoping for a better year for some of us next year 

xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Just to wish everyone a very happy new year, here's hoping for lots of luck and happiness for us all. X


----------



## Sasha1973

Happy new year everyone. I just wanted to second what crazy has said, here's hoping 2016 brings happiness and bfp's for all you lovely ladies, always thinking of you all xxx


----------



## Trin Trin

Just wanting to wish everyone a Happy New Year and hope that 2016 will be the year to make all our dreams come true!! Xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Hope everyone's doing ok, 
Kl how are you feeling about it all now? How's everything going, hope you're feeling more positive about it all. 
Trin, you must be due another scan soon? Hope all ok and you're feeling ok. 
Caro, hope you're ok and recovered from Christmas party season. 
Natasha I think you said you were gonna be cycling again this month, hope everything well for that?
Sasha and Carter hope your Christmas was a flurry of paper and cuddles!!
As for us, we're just waiting for the witch, to start start again. Anxious, scared and excited....just trying to remember I can't control everything. Working on the poker face, as everyone takes delight in telling me the pregnancy count at work, even Bob (name changed for their protection!) who is doing good on their second go of Ivf for their second baby....that's wonderful for them, seriously I don't want their child..... And deep breath!! 
I'm so sorry for forgetting lots of people, hope I'll remember soon!!


----------



## Trin Trin

Hey Crazy..waiting for the witch is so ironic at this stage, when you can't wait for it to come it feels like ages and then there's the wanting it to stay away. Well on this occasion I hope it comes soon. Your work colleagues sound really insensitive, especially when they are aware of what you've been through and going through. If they didn't I could understand their comments was due to not having a clue what's going on. Think you need more than taking a deep breath.....need a baseball bat to give them a whack each time they make an insensitive comment!!!

Kl - how's it going, you must gsve been on the meds now for a few weeks? Keep us posted xx

Caro - do you have any idea when you may start again?

Natasha - have you started yet?

Carter/Caro - must have been a great Xmas with the family this year!!

AFM I'm 11+4 12 weeks on Wednesday. Next scan isn't until 13 weeks!!!!! but I have my antenatal appointment with consultant tomorrow. Sickness is stil present think it's easing up a bit. Still feeling nervous, no reason to feel that way but I can't help it. Hoping to feel more relaxed after my next scan....hopefully.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks Trin for the image there, !  glad all is good and hopefully you can start to relax after next scan.


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## natasha0483

Happy new year everyone! Hope you're all doing ok and that 2016's treating you well so far.
Trin, so pleased that your scan went well - not long to go till the next one! Glad to hear you're feeling less sick too. 
Crazy, I hear you on the poker face at work - pregnancies all over the place! I second the baseball bat idea  Hope the witch arrives for you soon. 
We're getting ready to start again too - probably around mid-month. Slightly dreading going through it again - most of it was fine, it's just the end bit - the waiting - that made me feel a bit unhinged. 
KL, hope you're ok, how's it all going?
Hi to everyone else xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Trin hope all still good with you, when is your next scan? 
Natasha hope all gearing up well for you, feeling more chilled now but thanks for all the reassurance that I'm not unreasonable!!
Caro hope you're ok, any plans for next cycle yet or is it still too early?
Kl hope all is going well for you and you're feeling ok about it all. 
Hiltra, how you doing with plans?
Sasha, cater and Penelope hope families are all good. 
Well think witch is finally on her way, great timing with run of nights but hey, it'll be fine. Clinic has realised we've no drugs so they are finally sending... Nerves are high, worry is crazy but hope is bubbling away. Like all of us, so keen for this to work.


----------



## Trin Trin

Morning ladies 

Crazy glad to hear for the last time AF has arrived!! Don't want it arriving again!!! Starting again brings out all the emotions, but most importantly believe it can work!! As you say having the hope!!! I'll be here to support you my love. If I remember correctly you do the short protocol, even better not a long cycle!!

Natasha I know what you mean about the end.......the waiting.......has it worked or not.....that's the part I loose patience and my mind goes crazy l!! Do you do long or short?

Kl I'm constantly thinking of you, please let us know how you're doing?

AFM I have my scan on Wednesday, I'll be 13 weeks...as always very nervous!!!

Hey to everyone else x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thank you Trin, you're my cheerleader, along with so many other lovely ladies on here. I really appreciate it on the wobbly days. Can I ask if you did anything different? The clinic has suggested low dose aspirin after egg collection, just in case (family history of miscarriage and this has helped them). Yes it's short protocol so maybe eggs out in few weeks, hopefully, please may it all go to plan this time.
You'll remain in my thoughts this week, and until lo is safely here! X


----------



## Trin Trin

Crazy, the main thing I did different this time was not taking hundreds of supplements!!! I spent loads in Holland & Barret previously and purchase loads of supplements. This time thought they didn't improve a thing for me so why bother. I took pregnacare conception from leading up to my cycles and during. I always have taken baby asprin after collection and progesterone pessaries. This time I was also on clexane and steroids I think after collection....still am!! Consultant wants me to continue with clexane and progesterone until 20 weeks and asprin up until 36 weeks all being well due to my history.


----------



## Carter4

A belated happy new year ladies........I really hope 2016 is the year to make all your dreams come true.

KL - Hope your cycle is going to plan, and you are just having a rest from FF's?

Sasha - How's it going with your girls? A hectic but happy Christmas no doubt? Did you tell us their names, sorry if you did?!

Crazy - Tonnes of luck for this cycle, sincerely hope that it is the one!

Trin - Great news that you've passed the 12 week marker, and fx for a lovely reassuring scan on Wednesday.

natasha - Think we all go a bit do-lally in the 2ww, best of luck to you.

caro - I've lost complete track of time, have you had your review yet? Any ideas for when to have that last go?

Penelope - Still stalking like moi? Moving any closer to trying for #3?

Afm - Can't believe DD2&3 are seven months already. Finally have some semblance of a routine. Although I am far more easier going this time around compared to with my DD1. They are also completely different in every way, looks, hair colour, size, personality and we dress them individually too, just the way I like it.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks Trin for your answer. Hope you're ok and thinking of you for scan tomorrow. I'm sure everything will be good. 
Carter they must be big now!! That has flown by!
We've started clomid tonight and for scan Saturday. Fingers and toes crossed!!


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Good luck for your scan today trin. Will be thinking of you and looking forward to reading your post after.

Kl, hope you are ok and cycle is going well. We are all routing for you.

Crazy,wishing you all the best for this cycle.

Carter, yes I'm still stalking like you!! Still planning to try for number 3 but need to do a bit more saving first so it won't be until the end of this year probably. 

Caro, hope you are well.

Hi to everyone else.

Xx


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## caro8500

Hey all hope everyone's had a good Christmas

Trin...Hope the scan went well today ... fingers crossed x 1 million!

Crazy...Glad you've got started...the short protocol sounds fab. Mine is always so long a drawn out. Do you feel ok on the Clomid?

Carter....wow can't believe its 7 months already!! Just when I'm feeling like it could never happen again I read your post and imagine you with your girls and it gives me hope and helps me carry on. 

Pen...love that you are thinking of number 3...get saving those pennies! 

KL...hope all going ok at whatever stage you are at. Thinking of you 

AFM. Had our review between Christmas and New year. All in agreement that the cycle went well ... just didn't work! He doesn't feel its an implementation issue but we are going to double the clexane and add intramuscular progesterone this time. Also going to increase stimms dose slightly (on high dose already) but no major changes. Hoping to start from next cycle early feb - will be 3-4 weeks of down reg first to try an dampen down the endo. Can't wait for that, it totally floored me again last week, the pain is pretty unmanageable now. So hopefully it will be March when all the action takes place


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## Crazy_frog

Thanks Penelope, hope your dreams of trying for a third can come true. 
Caro, thanks too. Yes short is quick, it's all over within the month which is great for us. Clomid isn't too bad, although definitely some mood changing properties!!
Kl,if you're still reading- thinking of you. Hope all is going ok and your taking care of yourself. 
Trin, hoping you've been celebrating, you were in all our thoughts. X


----------



## Trin Trin

Morning ladies

Thank you for all the well wishes. Scan thankfully went well, 13 weeks and baby is now measuring 13+4. I was calmer waitng but very nervous. Feeling more confident now. Sickness still around but getting better or I'm copy better!!

Carter Wow!! The girls are 7 months already!! Time really flies. Really appreciate you checking up on us. What are your plans re work? Will you go back?? Sorry to depress you with the thought.....

Pene - lovely to hear from you as always!!

Caro Glad to hear the clinic are changing things slightly, hopefully this will make the difference.

Crazy - keep us posted with how you're getting on!! Wishi could have done short protocol, love that it's only just over a month!

Kl as always I'm thinking of you xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Great news Trin, that's you into second trimester then!!!really glad to hear great news, Also good sickness isn't as bad. I understand you won't fully relax til little one arrives, but each step at a time!!


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Great news on the scan trin trin. 

Good luck with your first cycle scan tomorrow crazy.

Caro, wishing you all the best for your upcoming cycle. Really hoping those changes help and you get your bfp.

Hi to Sasha and Carter. Hope you and your families are all well. 

Hi to anyone else I've missed. Xx


----------



## Kitten 80

Hi everyone it's been a while since last on but I didn't want to be obsessed again    so I stayed away


I see there is a few positive results well done ladies    everything stays well for you all


Afm well just waiting for my cycle to start today hopefully then I shall email hospital to get a scan date in I have mixed emotions this time round but hoping for a good result x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks Penelope, scan today pretty dull post clomid- only took last dose this am, so not surprised. Gonal tonight and fingers crossed for Monday. 
Hey kitten, hope you're ok.


----------



## Carter4

Penelope - Hope late 2016 brings you #3 with ease.

caro - Sorry to hear that your endo continues to cause you such suffering. It must be dreadful at times to live with. Really hope the tweaks to your protocol help you get your much deserved bfp and take home baby. Blimey February then, you'll be off before you know it!

Trin - So pleased to hear that your scan went well, hurrah. No plans for me to return to work anytime soon. SAHM is my new title and I love it. Very strange given I was so career driven for many years.

Crazy - Good luck for Monday.


----------



## KLconfused

Hi all, happy new year! Bit late sorry. Ive been having a break from FF and having a HUGE wobble about DE. Still not 100% happy with it but im keeping going. The costs of carrying on with OE are just too high emotionally, physically and financially and on my relationships with everyone around me especially when the success rates are so low. Started drugs mid December and looking at EC 1st Feb if we get that far. Drugs are easier than OE but ive been very very tearful and now very bloated so I still don't cope well even with these drugs. 

Potty trained daughter over xmas and she is now a proper little lady. She seems to have grown up so much now she doesn't have a nappy. She has moved on from Peppa Pig and Ben and Holly to Frozen aswell. So 2 going on 13 I think! 

Congrats to Trin, its such wonderful news. Your so nearly there now and your dream is within grasp. So pleased for you. 

Crazy and Caro I wish you all the best with your cycles. Definitely need some more BFPs on this thread again 

Hi to everyone else. 

xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Hey kl, sorry to hear that you're  having wobbles and suffering with meds. I hope you have good support around you, remember wobbles are natural to a certain extent- not the same I appreciate but we had worries about dsperm initially but one they're here it all changes. Everything crossed for you. Congrats on your big girl!!
Hope everyone is ok. 
Scan was fine, growing nicely so far. Started orgalutron (double dose) today. Just hard at the moment as we thought all was good last time, still just gotta trust and hope.


----------



## Dolphins

Hi girls,

I just wanted to say to you all that I hope that all our dreams come true in 2016, and that it is a great year for us all! And let's hope that we hear about more news about people hearing the pitter patter of tiny feet.  

I had my review today reg. our failed cycle back in Oct. 2015, and let's say that it has left us with a lot to think about. 

The decision is now PGS (Preimplantation Genetic Screening) or egg donor, and I don't know what to do!

At least with PGS I can still use my own eggs, but it is still quite a risk, and you are paying quite a bit of money for quite a risk. Alternatively I could do egg donor, and have a greater success rate abroad, but it won't be using my own eggs.

I will talk more tomorrow about this, but for now I am "all information'd out!"

xxxx 

p.s. nice talking to you all again.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Hi Dolphins, hope you're doing ok. Lots for you to think about, hope you're ok. 
Scan yesterday was ok, double dose of orgalutron does seem to slow it down but they aren't worried and will rescan tomorrow. Fingers crossed eggs stay put!!


----------



## Crazy_frog

So scan today showed better growth. Ec Monday, hoping for 6, reasonable for lite. Worried and apprehensive about eggs staying put. Fingers crossed all goes to plan. Unusually, they're recommending a further dose of gonal tomorrow night before trigger. Hoping it all helps. 
Hope everyone well.


----------



## Trin Trin

Dolphins sorry to hear you've lots going on and loads to think about with how you proceed forward. I'm sure you'll reach a decision which is right for you and family. Take care.

Crazy - EC on Monday, wow that's turned around quickly!! Glad the scan showed good growth. Of course you will be nervous and anxious but remember every cycle is not going to be the same. There is no real reason why what happened on your last will repeat itself. I am thinking positive thoughts for you and yes 6 is s great number for IVF lite!! 

Kl lovely to hear from you. Thinking of you as always, not long to go for you too. Always around if you need me x


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Kl, lovely to hear from you. I'm sorry you're still not 100% sure about the DE. I have everything crossed that this works for you. Not long to go, hang on in there.

Dolphins, hope you are closer to making a decision. 

Crazy, great news about egg number and collection on Monday!!! Totally understand your anxiety given your last experience but I'm sure clinic will do everything they can to prevent same thing happening again. 

Trin trin, hope all is well with you.

Hi to anyone else reading

Xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thank you Trin and Penelope. Fingers crossed for tomorrow. Still hoping!


----------



## Trin Trin

Of course you're still hoping!! We have to have hope during all of this. Good luck for tomorrow I'll be thinking of you Crazy!! X


----------



## Carter4

Loads of luck for tomorrow Crazy. Hope all goes to plan x


----------



## Crazy_frog

So 2 eggs, fingers crossed they're mature and we get at least one embie. Each step as it happens right....


----------



## Carter4

Keeping my fingers tightly crossed for you crazy x


----------



## Trin Trin

Sending positive thoughts your way!!! One gooden is all you need!!! X


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Got everything crossed for you crazy xx


----------



## caro8500

Hope its good new tomorrow crazy x


----------



## Crazy_frog

So we can all be a little more honest about it now. What a blooming disaster, again. So only one mature and at check this morning no fertilisation. It was slow to mature and normally wouldn't have been ideal. So no sibling sperm left. No transfer to "beautiful lining". No answers as usual. 
Have review tomorrow, anyone think of any sensible questions that I can ask, I am open to everything!!


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Oh crazy I'm so so sorry lovely. Is it worth asking if you can do full Ivf and not lite Sorry if you've already explained the reasons why you're on Ivf lite and I've missed it x


----------



## Trin Trin

Oh Crazy.....I'm so sorry:-( this process really puts us through it!! It's just so unpredictable never knowing what can make it work and why it doesn't work😡. We all know what it's like experiencing more than one negative cycle.

Being honest of course we were hoping to see more collected but we do know it just takes one good one. I always wander what happens to the other follicles that are seen on the scans. I recall there being 6 but 2 collected, what happened to the other potential 4? I'm really not sure on what questions you can ask, could they try different stimulating drugs? I used gonal f and something else. Could u try long protocol? I've had 4 fresh cycles all with different outcomes so it's hard to say. How much does it mean to you that the sibling donor sperm has now finished? I initially was very upset when mine finished but after a while I was okay. I'm trying to figure out what number cycle you're on since trying again... Is it 3 or 4? 

Perhaps let them lead the discussion.....would u consider changing clinic?

Let us know how you get on and most of all look after yourself xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks ladies as always. 
Yeah there were 6 folicles (less than normal) but only 2 eggs. This cycle was double dose of orgalutron to hold back ovulation. However a quick research showed studies showing lower eggs, difficult retrieval, fewer fertilised and increased miscarriage rate. We were never warned so I am a "little" frustrated.....
We always do lite due to ridiculously high AMH, pco appear ace but no syndrome. Previously had hyper stimulation on 112 of gonal, so or consultant is not keen for us to do "full" IVF. 
This is cycle 4 for a sibling, 7 in total, first cycle last year- no sedation at egg collection, third- cancelled due to ovulation and now this, with considerable pain including side, chest and shoulder on right side. 
Sadly dd is now telling everyone her baby brother is coming soon, it breaks me just a little more each time. We certainly never say that. Yes we think it's time to change, but are struggling to find where and how. Toying with idea of going abroad versus create.
Sorry for moaning, hope everyone ok. X


----------



## KLconfused

Crazy - I'm so sorry you've had this outcome.  The 2ww is awful but we all want to get that far. Only thing I can think of is same as pen and question lite.  Maybe you wouldn't over respond next time as your body may have changed.  Maybe it's a response to the ovulation drug.  Really not worth keep doing more of the same so the clinic need to be able to suggest something new.
I'm sorry I can't see you age on here but just wandering about egg quality even with a high amh. My last clinic said empty follicles are a sign of diminishing egg quality. My scenario is different though as I always get more eggs than follicles on the right and my left ovary now gets no follicles at all. Maybe empty follicles is just a reaction to the ovulation drug.

There are so many unknowns it's so frustrating. Everyone I know who has been abroad for treatment raves about it but I have never done itself.  

I really hope you get some answers tomorrow x 

And I feel for you on the sibling front. My daughter keeps saying she wants a baby. It is heartbreaking to hear.


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Crazy, do you mind me asking what your amh is? I have a highish one and have always been out on full
Ivf with a long protocol as there is less risk of over stimulating. I also have been told I possibly have pco but don't have the syndrome. 

I'm sorry, I don't know much about treatment abroad myself but know a few people through this forum who have and are very positive about their experience. 

Good luck for tomorrow. I really hope they have some answers and solutions and if not then I think a change of clinic is in order. I would also be tempted to ask about a part refund for this cycle as you really should've been told about the effects of the double dose of orgalutron has on egg quality and retrieval.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks, yeah it's no problem. I'm 30 and AMH is 93. 
That's exactly it ll, we just wanted to get to the wait, 2 times now! Sadly research seems to show "empty" follicles are usually not actually empty but sticky sometimes immature ones who won't flush out. Again common cause suggested too high dose to suppress ovulation combined with insufficient trigger. 
I'd like to believe they'll offer something, simply donor sperm is about 1k at our clinic and we used 1!! Most expensive unfulfilled embryo there!! doubt they'll do anything and so we'll get notes and move.


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Wow crazy that is a high amh, mine is 40 so I can see why clinic put you on lite Ivf but think given last few cycles they should definitely consider other options. 

Xx


----------



## Carter4

So sorry to see your update crazy, it's a shock to your system that's for sure. As you can see from my signature twice we were deprived of the torture of the 2ww, and it truly is horrendous. The whole point is to at least be in with a chance, so to not even get that is a particular brand of cruel.

Given that your amh is so high, can you not go on the pill prior to your next try, I thought this was supposed to help dampen everything down, and give the clinic better control of your cycle?

It may feel as if you are going backwards but would you not be suitable for iui?

Perhaps get your amh retested, see if it's still coming in as high?

Good luck tomorrow, and don't be afraid to chip away. You're paying good money, and deserve a full explanation. Even if your clinic says it's just the way your cycle unfolded this time, this does not detract from the research you uncovered.


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## Crazy_frog

Appointment was ok, thanks everyone for help. 
Doctor had no real advice, we got an apology and "I don't know why".  She did indeed suggest long protocol but through the discussions realised how frustrated and upset we were. She didn't seem to know the risks of over doing the LH suppression, didn't even know of studies I said. I feel that informed consent has not been obtained too often. Out of 4 cycles, 3 have not gone right (egg collection meds, ovulation and now poor response). She asked what we wanted and we have said refund. Sperm and cycle. She'll get back to us as needs to discuss it. She did acknowledge with hind site things could have been different. 
So we will wait for bit, see the offer and then consider if we push harder/ investigate legal side. It's not the money, although we know what we'd use it for!!, it's the distress, emotional and time costs as well as difficulties for little one. I'm sorry if that makes me sound bitter and horrible but as a private patient we expected actual care and it's not happened.


----------



## natasha0483

Crazy, I'm so sorry that your cycle didn't work out - so frustrating and unfair. It does sound as though a change of clinic is in order - can only be a good thing to get the benefit of other expert opinions. You mentioned Create v abroad - we're with Create, let me know if you'd like any info.

KL, sorry to hear you're struggling with the idea of DE but good on you for persevering (and well done for the potty training, my son aged 3 is still not 100% behind the idea!)

Trin, hope you're still feeling ok, that the nausea's passed and that you're feeling more relaxed.

AFM, we were supposed to be doing our second cycle this month but my husband took a DNA fragmentation test before Christmas and the results took ages to come back, so we missed our chance this month. The result was not great - 34% fragmented sperm (this is addition to the low sperm count, motility etc issues) - so it's a bit of a blow. It can supposedly be improved with a high dose of vitamins C and E - yet more to add to our many daily vits! I do ask myself if they actually do anything... 

Hello to anyone I've missed, hope you're all surviving this gloomy January.

xx


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## Crazy_frog

Thanks Natasha, any info would be great, how do you find the clinic? any experience of them would be great. I know they have their own board, but it's monitored by the clinic... Do you have transfer each time or bank? I'm sorry you were delayed by test results for your husband. It's frustrating when that happens. 
Trin, I hope all is still good for you, are you a little more relaxed yet?
Kl how are you feeling about it all. I have everything crossed for you. 
Carter, I hope the family is well and your twins are causing trouble!! Thank you for for showing no transfer isn't the end. 
Penelope, I hope you are ok and have you thought any more about trying again?
Sorry for having my head up my butt, the support is wonderful on here. I'm not always a miserable bag!!


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## caro8500

Crazy...just wanted to say so sorry your cycle ended like it did. Sounds like its definitely worth a second opinion and a refund certainly wouldn't go amiss! It's hard choosing a new clinic, for us it had to be within reasonable travelling distance and as we also ruled out going abroad. In the end we went with the 2nd nearest option. Hope you get some answers and new ideas.
x


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## Crazy_frog

Thanks Caro, sorry for missing you off. Head still not completely with me!! I hope your pain is ok at the moment and forgive me, what are your plans for future? X


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## natasha0483

Hi Crazy,

I've only had one cycle at Create, and did a transfer. I'm too impatient for banking! Frankly we chose Create because they're the cheapest and were of the thinking that IVF is a numbers game, so choose wherever you can afford to have the most gos. As for how I would rate them, apart from the admin side of things, which is crap (you do get the sense that this is the case at many IVF clinics though..), they were fine. Which is to say, the treatment protocol was appropriate for me, once I was actually cycling the process was smooth, no delays, the staff were lovely, the St Paul's clinic is shiny and new, etc. 

However...we've decided to go to Serum in Athens next time - which before looking into it seemed completely impractical (esp with a 3-year-old), but is actually not too bad at all. Cost aside (it's  cheaper than Create), what swung it was that Create didn't seem to have a particularly proactive approach to the next cycle - they'd suggested slightly different meds, different vitamins, nothing that I felt was going to really make a difference given the poor outcome of our first cycle. On a whim the other night I filled in Serum's online questionnaire and was impressed a) by the searching questions - much of which Create hadn't asked me, and b) by their swift and detailed response. They've suggested a number of treatment ideas/potential issues that Create hadn't mentioned and every email has been really considered and thorough. This is very different from Create, where you can wait a couple of weeks for a response to an email if your query is anything out of the ordinary. 

Anyway, I know you weren't asking about Serum but just wanted to give you the full picture about why I've decided to go elsewhere - not because Create were rubbish, but because Serum seem to have more of a 'leave no stone unturned' approach, which is what I think we need. Anyway sorry for blathering on - let me know if you have any more Create questions and I'll do my best to provide a (shorter!) answer.

x


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## Crazy_frog

How very strange Natasha, that is other clinic on our list!! We're just in process of thinking! I am struggling with a lot of this immune stuff though,I don't feel that some of the treatments are safe or appropriate and I am strongly against some of them. We are considering a consult with them and see how it sits. Let me know how you get on!


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## natasha0483

How weird Crazy! I haven't really looked into the immune stuff as it's not been suggested for us, but I agree that it seems quite full-on. I've booked a consultation and scan with them in early March - will report back! Good luck with choosing between clinics, it's not an easy one. x


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## KLconfused

Crazy - I understand your caution with the immunes and I had the same caution. Ive had intralipids for 2 rounds of IVF but I wouldn't be happy with IVIG so you can tailor what you take. However the immunes are more to do with the fetus not being destroyed by the body rather than getting eggs in the first place and even implantation (the steroids are to help implantation and they also have risks associated).

Im at Care Northampton and I notice they have a package for under 37's with OE and I think you pay for 3 cycles and get your money back if you have no baby. Care have been OK so far with me. I cant say im impressed with any of the clinics ive used so far, they all seem to have things they could improve on. 

Hi to everyone else. 

AFM EC Monday. Feeling very very nervous and not feeling all that well on all these drugs. xx


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## Crazy_frog

Oh kl sorry you're not feeling great with meds, fingers crossed for Monday.  Remind me are you getting all of them? What happens after that? Is it the wait for the call? 
To be honest we just want to get to transfer right now. We had said originally we'd do three and move on, but it just doesn't feel like we've even had that. I think we're open to at least a few more before calling time. Still alternating between anger and  upset. Anger that clinic messed up, which at least they acknowledge they did, and complete devastation that one single sperm was wasted from that precious last amp and all that means. Sure it might not have happened again but.....
Hope everyone else is good x


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## Carter4

Just popping on to wish KL all the luck in the world for 'YOUR' ec tomorrow. Hugs lady, hope it's good news xx


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## Trin Trin

Just a quick one too. Will do a longer fuller one tomorrow but wanted to wish kl good luck for tomorrow!! Xxx


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## Penelope Pitstop

Good luck for ec today Kl. we're all routing for you!! Xxx


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## natasha0483

Best of luck today KL x


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## KLconfused

Crazy - so sorry if ive missed where you have talked about it but I assume that you have now used the last vial of sperm from the same donor as your first child? Is there any way you can get more? That must be gutting. Big hugs for you and to have it used up in a bad cycle too is heartbreaking. Have you heard from the clinic yet on any refund?

Caro - how are you , you must be starting again soon?

Thanks everyone for your good wishes. Anyway very stressful time waiting for call. 20 eggs. Don't know how many mature. Sperm defrosted fine. Looking at ET Thursday or Saturday if all goes well. were transferring 2 I think unless they maybe are top quality blasts then we might reconsider. Definitely freeze if any left over but that seems so far off. I just hope theres two to go back in. The clinic will call tomorrow with an update on how many have fertilised. Im worried 20 is too many so they may be bad quality. I only have my own cycles to compare to and I used to get around 9-12 and there was always 3/4 great ones at day 3 but they didn't make a baby (well 1 baby from 11 top grade embryos) so im really not sure what to think. Fingers crossed for tomorrows call. 

Made a friend on here a couple of years ago and we have been pming and she has sent me some really nasty emails the last few days saying DE is cruel and even if I have a baby im just its surrogate no matter what the birth certificate says. Im shocked we got on so well for 2 years then these nasty pms. Its left me really deflated. Hubbie has been in tears this morning aswell whilst waiting for the EC call and daughters being very naughty. Were all suffering. I really hope this works. Life will be so much better if it does. My daughter will get booked into the school we want her to go to and we will move on with our lives and never moan about anything ever again!


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## Kitten 80

Hi everyone I've not been on for a while but I am officially pupo   


How is everyone x


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## Crazy_frog

Kl that's great number of eggs! Hope you're doing ok with it all and feeling positive. Everything crossed for your call tomorrow and transfer. Little ones pick up on our tensions so I'm sure your dd is aware of something, grit teeth and breathe!! I'm sorry you've had such ignorance from someone on here. That's miserable and utter rubbish, but not the right time. Big hugs sweetie. 
Yes last amp, he reached his family limit some time ago and so even if he would donate again, it's unlikely they'd bother as there's no gain to them. Sadly it does mean full genetic sibling is out. 
Congrats kitten, hope 2ww is kind


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## KLconfused

crazy - sorry that the last of the sperm is gone. that is gutting and I hope you can find another donor equally as good. Have you heard from the clinic yet? I know you have to wait 2 cycles before having treatment again but moving between clinics can delay things too. You have age on your side though and you have a lot to think about. 

Got the call from the clinic today and 11 have fertilised. Most likely a 5dt on Saturday but obviously we have to see how things go this week. Im sad and excited all at the same time. If we get to 5dt of a blast they have an 80% chance of success. Ive never felt so positive about an IVF cycle before and its very different. Im already in love with the embryos in the dish and I feel huge warmth towards the donor, she is amazing. She is obviously someone who is kind and thinks of others so im sure I would like her if I met her. 

Hi to everyone else. xx


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## Penelope Pitstop

Oh kl that's fantastic news!! I have everything crossed for a 5 day transfer for you!! Xx


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## Crazy_frog

Kl that's amazing!! So pleased to hear you're feeling positive and sounds like you're in great position. So so pleased for you.


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## Carter4

Wow KL brilliant numbers, you must be so chuffed, and as for so-called friend on here, sever all ties immediately. Her opinion should not be foisted on you, only support is needed at this critical time. Don't be tempted to engage with her, and keep your head in the game KL. Do you get another progress report tomorrow? Have you decided on one or two to transfer yet?

Kitten - Good luck in your 2ww.


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## Trin Trin

Kl - Wow!! I'm so pleased for you, what great numbers to be starting with. I knew once you reached this stage your initial feelings would be forgotten. Of course you love those embryos growing, they're your babies!! DE is such a wonderful donation women make. Yes I'm sure she's s lovely lady, 

As for the so called friend with her negative views. How can she be expressing such views on this website, absolutely ludacrous! Well I'm assuming you're going to arase her from your memory. Delete all messages and forget about her. More important things to be focusing on. Keep us updated xx

Crazy - Hope you're feeling a bit better than you were. Glad to hear you're looking into different options, clinics, new perspectives etc things your current clinic didn't do or explore. This journey for whatever reason is just unpredictable. But I'm glad you haven't given up on your dreams X

Kitten - Good luck during the 2ww

Caro - how's things?

Carter - Lovely seeing you on here still. Means so much X

AFM - I'm 16 weeks now.  Sickness is literally almost gone....thank goodness!!


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## Kitten 80

Thanks trinity I'm slowly going


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## Crazy_frog

Trin glad sickness is passing, hope you feel full of energy too
Hope no news is good news kl 
Still awaiting clinic letter and any response from them. Will be sending a complaint letter this week and see if that speeds them up a little. Want written answers to our questions. So far clinics we've approached have been shocked by poor response. 
Hi to everyone still reading x


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## natasha0483

Wow, great numbers KL - so pleased for you.

Trin, so glad the sickness is nearly over. You're into the nice bit!

Crazy, that's rubbish that the clinic hasn't got back to you. Hope your letter of complaint gets you a response and you can start planning your next steps.

Kitten, good luck!

Hi to everyone else x


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## Kitten 80

That's very exciting    naughty for testing early


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## flowersinthewindow

Sorry ladies, posted here by mistake earlier, meant to post in general area. Best wishes and good luck to all x


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## caro8500

Kl...fab news. sounding really really positive. How many are you planning/allowed to have transferred? Hopefully some to freeze too! Sorry you've experienced such negativity. People are entitled to their own opinions I guess but they should bloomin well keep them to their self! As if you haven't been through enough. Hope you can brush it aside and keep up the positivity

Crazy...all the waiting around is tedious isn't it! Hope you get a response soon so you can move on and get things re started 

Trin...16 weeks already!! How you feeling about things now and when will you next have a scan? 

Kitten...good luck, when you thinking of testing?

AFM. Waiting for AF, had some bleeding but not properly yet. Doesn't feel right though somehow. Stressing that I'm menopausal!! will give it until next week but not sure what to do if it doesn't make a proper appearance. meant to be down reg from day 21...argh!


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## Kitten 80

I'm not testing brill otd 15th


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## Crazy_frog

Kl just wanted to wish you well for today. Hope transfer is ok and hopefully you'll have Frosties as well xx


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## Penelope Pitstop

Same from me kl. wishing you all best and fingers crossed for some Frosties xx


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## KLconfused

Hi all, thanks so much for your kind wishes and apologies for not posting more. Ive had a few wobbles and even considered stopping treatment but im Ok now. I just didn't think it was the right place for all my insane ramblings. 
Well we had 1 embryo transferred today. OTD 19th. We talked with the embryologist for about half an hour to decide 1 or 2. In the end I tossed a coin. I know that sounds daft but I think ive done everything else wrong on this journey I don't trust my own decisions. We did have some reasoning. with 1 embryo we have a 63% chance of a BFP. With 2 we have a 80% chance of a BFP but a 55% chance of twins. I love the thought of twins but im scared of it in real life because of the risks especially as I am nervous about them being DD as I think id be Ok if they were OE. Not really sure why. There I go with inane ramblings   So we decided to go with the 63% chance as its still more likely to work than not. I know stats don't mean anything really because you can be on the good or bad side of them. Ive had doubts since we came home as 80% seems so much better odds. But I had preeclampsia with daughter and that scares me even more with twins. So its done. 
Ive felt hungry and wobbly since the ET and ive not had that before. Im on so many immunes drugs I think its that. I also feel very very restless and I cant stop wandering what the embryo is doing now. Trying to rest with a 2 year old is also impossible and she keeps wanting to be picked up. 
Great news is we have 5 frosties! All 11 embryos were blasts but 6 stood out and 4 were expanding blasts. Top quality apparently. So with 1 in if that doesn't work we will put 2 in next time and that gives us 3 more goes. Im scared it wont happen in that time and we couldn't afford another full round but I have to take it one day at a time. Im not sure why they didn't freeze the others when they were blasts. We used the camera (EVA) and the embryologist said they didn't make the time markers they needed to even though they were blast so they weren't freezable. Quite interesting as maybe with the new cameras it will mean less embryos put back but more success. Who knows. Im still thinking bigger numbers are best but I guess it really is quality over quantity. 

Hi to everyone else. Sorry for lack of personals, ill try to get back soon xx


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## Trin Trin

Hi Kl

We're all here to listen to your wobbles, doubts etc. Fabulous outcome though with all those blasts and a great one on board too. 5 Frosties too!!! Wow what a cycle!!! OTD does seem long though considering you transferred on day 5...once on board it does make you think what's happening inside. 

I hope the wait goes quickly. Any wobbles or feeling crazy let us know xx


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## Crazy_frog

Kl firstly I'm so pleased you're pupo!! And Frosties as well, good number. Whilst I understand the numbers game, it's great that the camera selects the best ones. It takes out so much of the on the day decision for embryologists. 
You can share those wobbles, we are all here to listen- I've done my share of ranting!! Have faith in yourself, you made good decision, I hope the wait is kind to you. Try to not stress those percentages, easier said then done I know. Look after yourself x


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## Kitten 80

Ki congrats on being pupo and you wobble away I'm having a lot of those every day wondering if everything I do jeopardise my emby tmi here but I had orgasm with DH last night didn't have s&x but now I'm worried that jeopardise it    and it's my last chance x


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## Penelope Pitstop

Congratulations kl on getting this far! I'm so glad you have frosties too but praying you won't need those until you are ready to try for baby #3!!! Hoping these two weeks go quickly for you. 

Hi everyone else. 

Xx


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## KLconfused

Thanks pen. I'm really struggling with this 2ww and it's only been a few days. I'm convinced this morning it hasn't worked. I just keep telling myself with 63% chance it's more likely to work than not. It's been such a slow few days.

Kitten I don't think you've jeopardised anything.  But we always like to worry about something don't we! 

Hi to everyone X


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## Crazy_frog

Oh kl the wait is torture anyway but I can only imagine the extra thoughts going around. Logically it's too early to know either way, try to stay positive love. You're in a fab position with a brilliant blast on board. There's little you can do but worry. Hoping days speed up for you my dear. 
Kitten I wouldn't worry, people do all sorts without knowing they're pregnant so try not to worry. There's little you can do to affect the outcome. You never know it could be good thing?? 
Sasha, Penelope and Carter I hope the families are all good and busy!!
Trin I hope you're doing ok. Can't be long till next scan?
Caro I hope you're doing ok. 
As for us, we've put in complaint and awaiting acknowledgment. The longer they take, the more frustrated I get. The whole thing is pants (or other words). I'm getting more frustrated with "support" at work, one of whom suggested we "just" adopt.... I suggested this was not helpful and inappropriate.


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## Trin Trin

Kl - I think the 2ww is the worst part of the treatment. It's the not knowing which plays on my mind trying not to over analyse every little twinge or feeling. I'm usually okay the first week but the 2nd week I feel like I'm going insane!!

You have a great chance of this working with a great blast on board. Defo too early to think it hasn't worked, no more negative thoughts please. The statistics are helpful at times but I wouldn't even pay too much attention with that now. Are you going to test a bit earlier like 9dp5dt as your test date would kill me!!

Crazy - your work colleagues sound like a nightmare at times. If they haven't got anything useful to say then it's best they zip it!! Did you clinic indicate a time scale for responding to your complaint?? How are you getting on with other clinics?

AFM I'm doing ok, I had a private scan on Sunday plus last week st my consultant appointment I was scanned. All is well. The sonographer made a comment that baby is still quite low....but it's ok!! Obviously made me think is this okay. So I ended up googling as we do. Seems like this is fine but will mention at my next appointment. I'm 17 weeks now

Hi to everyone else xx


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## Crazy_frog

Yeah my colleagues are as subtle as bricks Trin. I can't believe it some days. Never mind, that's life I guess! Clinic has finally acknowledged complaint, can take up to 4 weeks. Will see how it goes I guess. I think we're gonna go to create, hopefully. Just another waiting game which sucks.


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## Carter4

Trin - Hurrah to sickness finally going, mine drastically improved at 16 weeks too! Fab news hearing about two positive scans as well. So what significance does baby lying low mean? Keep meaning to ask whether you are finding out the gender? x

Crazy - Really hope something good comes of the complaint. Fingers tightly crossed for a positive experience and outcome at Create x

caro - Did your AF put in a proper appearance? x

KL - The 19th does seem excessive, will you test before? x


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## Trin Trin

Kl just checking to see how you're doing.....I hope all is well and you're keeping busy during the agonising wait!!

Carter her comment the baby bring low was really unhelpful and unmeaningful. Babies can be below the belly button at 17 weeks plus have lots of space to move around. I'm not worrying as I feel movements all over, but I don't think some professionals realise the journey of some women and how the slightest thing can make us worry:-( The gender results are in a sealed envelope at my friends house. I'm 90% sure I'm having a girl. My daughter is praying for a little sister!!

Crazy hope you hear from the clinic soon.

Kitten hope you're doing okay too.

Caro have you started your new cycle yet?


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## KLconfused

hi everyone, thanks again for your support. 
im struggling a bit. Another lady had a 5dt same day as me and has OTD of Monday. So I think ill test then as well. I usually know if im pregnant a few days before OTD and I don't feel it. I feel quite panicked by it. Ive been dreading the feeling of the few days before OTD and knowing its not worked and it feels like im living that now. agghh. Im just keeping going, putting one foot in front of the other and trying not to depress everyone around me too much. Honestly if i could go get a cabin in a woods in the middle of nowhere and just stay there I would. Im usually so social but I really just want to cut myself off from everything at the moment although my daughter doesn't let me. 

Trin - that's great news and a girl - how perfect. xx

Caro and crazy how are you holding up? 

Crazy I was thinking that you need to be confident in the new clinic about how they are going to stop you ovulating. Obviously your current clinic don't know why you ovulated before EC so they gave you those risky drugs to stop it which resulted in a poor EC. if you still have the risk of ovulating early what can the new clinic do to stop that and if they give you the risky drugs can they give you a lower dose maybe? A clinic with more experience of very high AMH and that issue would be essential I think. I really hope your current clinic have come back to you with an answer by now. 

xx


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## Trin Trin

Hey Kl, if you were at my clinic OTD would be 9 days after a 5 day transfer. So 15th is a good date to test. I couldn't wait until 19th I'd go INSANE!! I know we're all different but I've only known for sure once out of 5 pregnancies that it had worked and that was my FET. All the other times even this one I really had no clue either way if it had worked. The meds really don't help either. My point is you may feel like it hadnt but you just don't know. 3 more sleeps to go!!! Try to keep busy and distracted although we all know how hard it is. I know the feeling of wanting to be on your own during all of this and not being around people. Not long to go now, thinking of you and really hoping and have everything possible I can cross that  Monday will be a positive outcome. My god you deserve this to be your time. It has to be !!🙏

We're all here for you my love xx


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## Crazy_frog

Kl I agree with Trin, sometimes we just don't know and sometimes we just don't want to believe it's possible. I've everything crossed for you. It did seem a very long test date, but Monday should be fine. 
We've now had acknowledgement re complaint and a follow up letter which seemed to match an awful lot of my concerns in the complaint. They're offering part refund but I'm still awaiting feedback re complaint. As you said kl, we are keen to speak to other clinics but it's hard to pick without going to consults. Difficulty then being that we don't want to waste huge amounts of money on consults. Regarding ovulation, the dugs have been the same for all cycles, except last one, so premature ovulation just seems to be a complete freak. We'd rather have abandoned cycle because of that than the pants result we had last time. Also I think most clinics monitor bloods which would have been indicative however our clinic didn't routinely do this. It seems so very hard to start over at a new clinic, knowing we've to repeat all the bloods and probably a smear even though last ones are just a year old.  I understand really but it's just always money. Ah well, onward I guess!!


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## Carter4

Wow Trin, when do you plan on succumbing to the sealed envelope? We did similar, but only for a few hours while we waited for DD1 to wake from her afternoon nap, and be fully involved in the reveal! I had a feeling it was girls too, be interesting to see if your prediction is correct!

KL really hope your theory of 'knowing' is disproven this time. Just keep telling yourself every pregnancy is different. Not much longer to go, fx.

Crazy - Good news on the partial refund, but still a pain that you are having to have the hassle in the first place.


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## Penelope Pitstop

Just a quickie from me to say, thinking of you kl and hope you're holding up. Good luck for testing tomorrow but bare in mind if it is a negative that it may not mean you're not pregnant as you still have a few days to go until otd lovely xx


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## Carter4

Good luck if you test tomorrow KL x


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## Trin Trin

Good luck tomorrow Kl if you're going to test. All clinics differ with OTD but 9dp5dt would definitely be what my clinic would advise. Thinking of you lots xx


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## natasha0483

Very best of luck if you test tomorrow KL - will be thinking of you.

X


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## Crazy_frog

Just to wish you luck today kl if you do test early. Thinking of you x


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## KLconfused

Well ive done a test and got a BFP! I cant quite believe it. I feel wobbly and shaky and its a bit surreal. I just don't feel pregnant. Ive had loads of symptoms that I get just before a BFN. Im wandering if the test is wrong. Official test is Friday so ill test again then and then maybe it will feel real. I feel sick but not pregnancy sick just anxious and shocked sick.  

Carter - did your pregnancy this time seem similar to your others? I know its twins so different anyway. Mines totally different. Hubbie thinks maybe its because its donor. I don't know it just all feels weird. Im worried that means its already going wrong. Ive had the same symptoms to start with during my last 3 pregnancies so this worries me. Although I suppose it shouldn't as my last 2 pregnancies have been mc's. x 

hi to everyone and thanks for your thoughts x x


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## Penelope Pitstop

Woo hoo kl!!! So so pleased for you!! Xx


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## Trin Trin

Yes yes yes yes yes woohoooooooooooooo!!!! Omg I'm so pleased i have goose bumps!! Okay let me calm down!! Kl seriously every pregnancy will be different. I didn't really feel pregnant or different until 6 weeks or so. I don't think pregnancy will feel different due to DE or OE I think they're just different.

Due to your past and getting to know you on here, you are going to worry and you will feel anxious, it's natural. I still worry at 18 weeks!!! I'm truly filled with joy right now. I'm smiling like a Cheshire Cat😀😀😀

Lovely news to read this morning!! Xxxx


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## Trin Trin

Sorry just to add Kl today is an OTD by most clinics. You are PREGNANT!!


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## Crazy_frog

Kl that's wonderful news. I'm so very pleased for you. Agree today as test date would be normal for our now old clinic. Each time is different, there's different emotions and hormones at play as well. Be positive!!


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## Carter4

Hi KL first time I've had a chance to reply........I can't even begin to express how happy I am for you. Understandably you will be cautious, but you mrs are PREGNANT, whahooooo xx Congratulations hun. Llittle embie burrow deep, and snuggle into your lovely new home for the next eight months or so xx

As for differences between pregnancies, not so much really. Ms kicked in a few days earlier, with a greater intensity. Indigestion was marginally improved. No cts this time, but gestational diabetes instead. Tbh I don't particularly enjoy pregnancy much, as for whatever reason my body doesn't do it well, but that movement you feel inside is second to none, so swings and roundabouts! 

I wish you nothing but the best, and really hope that this is your time again xx


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## Kitten 80

Bfn the for me ladies so end of the road for me x

Good luck everyone


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## Crazy_frog

Kitten I'm so sorry to hear that. Look after yourself and be kind. Grieve and allow yourself to feel all those emotions. Take care x


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## KLconfused

Crazy - I know its hard moving clinics. Im on my 3rd one and you cant really tell if you want to use a specific clinic until you go and by then you've paid at least the consult fee. I chose Wessex as it was close to where I live, then ARGC because of highest success rates and immune specialists and Care as its near my parents and they said a short wait list for de and good success rates. When we went for the initial consult I took all my paperwork with me so I had results from every test id ever had including the ones I had at my booking in appointment for my pregnancy that was my first mc. It meant we didn't have to pay for any of the tests again. Blood type, rubella etc and the normal HIV were still valid. They wanted to do a sperm analysis but we said no. We know the sperm is 100% abnormal and weve had 4 tests confirm that so it was wasting more money. They were fine with that in the end. We did come away from the initial consult with an £800 bill because we paid to go on donor list and see consult and something else I cant remember. So much for just having a look round! 
It is hard but very soon you will get in the swing of things with the new clinic and you will forget you went anywhere else. And also once you have lost confidence in your clinic theres no point staying. I was so confident ARGC would get me a baby it made my first cycle with them very easy. That belief works wonders on morale. 
Its good you will get some money back from your old clinic too. The least they could do. Whilst no one really knows why most IVF doesn't work they should be doing everything to give you the best shot. 

kitten - so sorry about your bfn. im very familiar with them. Horrid few weeks after one. Treat yourself if you can and give your child a huge huge squeeze. 

thanks everyone for your congrats. Im still in shock. my OTD has officially been changed to tomorrow so I have to pee on a stick in the morning. Im terrified. I don't want to incase its negative. Ive never felt before that I just want to run away but I do. I feel a huge amount of relief this IF nightmare might soon be over and I can get out of this pit of despair. Ive even thought about baby 3 if this one works (I wanted 4 when we started ttc 8 years ago but obviously didn't know how hard it would be and im too old for 4 now). I have totally different symptoms and just want to cry and sleep really. Im so scared of this being taken away that people must think im not happy. I really am excited I just cant show it. I just want to get to this weekend with another BFP pee stick and a date for scan then maybe ill celebrate. I keep thinking all I did was wee on a bit of plastic and told people im pregnant and maybe I got it wrong. It was a digital test though so hard to read wrong and I took a photo! Im seeing the counsellor tomorrow too but at the moment I love this baby so much and desperately want it to stick so I think that's a good sign.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Oh kl it's so normal to have these worries, especially with a history of issues. You can't read a digital wrong my love, you've photographic proof!! Believe, love and explore those hopes for the future!! Especially with your bumper crop of Frosties my love!
Thank you for your kind words and reassurance. It helps to know we're not crazy. Well just a little....
Looking forward to saying "told you so" tomorrow xx


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Kl, hope otd went ok today and you're quietly celebrating another positive test!!!


----------



## caro8500

oh my gosh...just caught up after weekend away and seen your positive KL!!! Really hope all was fine with test number 2 today. How exciting x

Kitten...so sorry yours was a BFN. Have you decided that this was your last go? We have said our next go will be our last, finding it hard already to think that could be it. Thinking of you x

AFM...I will be starting down reg in a week but with my long down reg it will be easter time when all the action takes place. Seems an age off but I'm not in a hurry for it to come round to be honest, given its meant to be our last go


----------



## KLconfused

Caro - knowing it's the last go does add pressure but it's a bit of a relief too. I kept thinking this is the last ec I'll have to do as I hate them.  I'm sure it's harder though if your not moving on to de. I had to grieve but it's slightly different I think grieving for genetics than grieving for a child if that makes sense. Hopefully it won't be relevant as this will be your lucky try. 

Thanks again everyone. I am now officially pregnant.  I think 4+1 but I'll get a better date at scan. Scans March 14th which is ages and I'll be past 8 weeks by then but the clinic only do 1 scan and the week before they can only offer a Tuesday which doesn't suit. Nurse was a bit negative about my miscarriages. Her tone bought me down a peg or two! 

Got lots of symptoms already. Lots of nausea, sleeplessness and weird dreams . I've had some of these symptoms before but later on and a bit different but my guts telling me it's a strong baby and I'm on loads of immune stuff so this should work. Already feeling I'm walking like a pregnant lady as I'm so bloated from the drugs. Feeling very happy.  Not really thought about the donor thing as I need to get past 12 weeks first. I totally love the feeling of being pregnant though and am so glad I have it again at last. 

Hi to everyone else xx 

Trin have you opened that envelope yet?


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## Penelope Pitstop

Congratulations kl, wishing you a healthy happy 8 months and I look forward to hearing about the scans. 

Caro, good luck for your upcoming cycle. Easter will soon be here and hopefully it will bring another bfp for us to celebrate!! 

Crazy, hope you're ok and the search for a new clinic is going well? 

Xx


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## Crazy_frog

Yay kl that's good news, sorry you've gotta wait so long for scan and silly nurse for being so unhelpful. 
Caro, good luck with down reg. Hope it's all ok for you and fingers crossed for the next bfp!!
We're still waiting on our notes from last clinic before finding next one, ah well. 
Hope everyone else is good x


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## Amz2006

Hi Ladies, Hope you don't mind me joining the thread! We're hoping for miracle number 3!! Just started a medicated FET!


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## Crazy_frog

Hi Amz, good luck with you fet. I hope all works out well for you, how lovely to be trying for number 3. Let us know how you get on x


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## KLconfused

Crazy - how are things? Have you chosen your next clinic yet and got your action plan together?

Caro - good luck starting the downreg. I know it gives you some relief from your endo symptoms so that's great but its still hard being on this rollercoaster. 

Amz- good luck with number 3. Theres still quite a few of us longtermers on here trying for number 2. Id love a number 3 as well though but seems impossible at this stage. 

Trin - you must be nearing your 20 week scan now? Have you found out the sex yet? Ive been convinced im having boys but all mine so far have been girls so what do I know. I feel its a boy this time too but not sure if that means its a girl again or im right!

AFM 5+3. watching for blood, very nervous but I feel very pregnant. Counting down to scan march 14th and worried about it but also worried something will happen before then I wont need that scan. Hubbie is being so attentive and cute and were talking about baby even though were trying not to. I don't feel like ive stopped for months though. Things have been so busy but I cant seem to find a way to slow down and rest. I had another intralipid yesterday which made me nervous and glad that's over for another month. Just trying to get through each day at a time. I have so many people around me who are so excited for me that's its lovely. I still have some thoughts in my head about the donor thing but im just focused on getting through 12 weeks then work through my thoughts on it. Im not even sure what those thoughts are and I know that makes no sense. 


how is everyone else?


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## natasha0483

KL, what fantastic news, congratulations! I've been away the last couple of weeks - brilliant to log on and see such lovely news. Hope the time passes quickly for you till your scan.

Caro, best of luck with the start of downreg.

Crazy, all the best with the move to a new clinic.

Trin, hope you're doing ok. Are you still managing to resist the envelope??

Afm have consultation and scan at Serum in Athens in two weeks, feeling excited to be trying again after a few months off. Other half has been put on a hardcore 'sperm improving protocol' involving antibiotics, various vitamins and no booze. Fingers crossed it works!

Hello to everyone else xx


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## Crazy_frog

Kl glad you're feeling it! Gotta be a good thing, even if you might not be allowing all those thoughts just yet. Everything crossed for you my love. 
Natasha wow all going quick then, going to be following your journey to see how it all proceeds. It's still between them and create. 
At the moment, were still looking and waitin for notes and response to complaint. We want to get going but still feeling so emotionally and practically stumped by actually making the next move. It's ridiculous and we just can't quite do it. So stupid and frustrating as we want to be pregnant so badly, I know just like the rest of us. 
Trin hope you're still ok and all going well. 
Caro hope all is good wth down reg and pain is better. 
Hello to all the other lovely ladies xx


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## Trin Trin

Hi everyone

Kl - I felt extremely anxious in the beginning and all I could do is take each day at a time. The 7 week scan didn't scare me as much although I was scared but it was the weeks leading up to the 10 week which turned me into a mess, as this is the period where I would usually miscarry. I'm not going to lie it was a hard few weeks to get through. I also think it's expected to feel this way when you've experienced such heart ache previously. It's also hard that everyone around you are so excited and the pressure felt not to let anyone down.  I still look out for blood which is crazy. I don't think I will fully be at ease until baby arrives.  But definitely my advice is to take each day at a time, celebrating each weeks milestone. I'm so so pleased for you.....will this be a Christmas baby? Exciting ❤

Natasha - welcome back. Glad all is moving along st Serum. I'm sure this is the clinic with a lovely lady called Penny. I've heard such great things about it. Plus the bonus of a bit of travelling too!! Lol the envelope is still sealed but my friend has it at her house. Not sure I would resist it being with me. I'm pretty sure I'm having a girl though.

Crazy - sometimes it's hard to get going again after such disappointment. I had one cycle where I didn't try again for 8 months. When you're both ready you'll get onto to it again. I always say this but this journey for us really sucks. Takes so much out of us and it isn't until you stop you realise how drained you are, emotionally and financially.

Caro - hope all is going well with your cycle my love.

Carter/Pene cannot forget you ladies. Hope you're both doing okay. Carter the girls must be approaching one soon....my goodness!!

AFM I'm 19.5 weeks literally half way!! Meds will finally stop next week woohoo!! Been injecting myself since September, which feels like forever!! Plus the pessaries up my bum!! I stopped the steroids at 12 weeks but asprin to continue throughout pregnancy. I still worry think it's natural but I'm just thankful to have reached this far my 20 week scan isn't until 15 March, I'll be 22 weeks then. Very tired and still get slight nausea but nothing like before. Different things kick in the 2nd trimester, but all is going well. I'm now planning on when I'll leave work as I'll be having a csection planned probably on 14 July, due to my previous labour and size of my daughter. I had a 5 day labour with daughter, my cervix is tilted and ended up with a C section and she weighed 9lb5. I'm only petite and 5ft2. Consultant said best to avoid any of that do I'm happy with c section again. 

Anyway have a lovely weekend ladies xx


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## Sasha1973

Hello everyone, so sorry I've not been around for a while I have been thinking about you all. The babies are doing well and are 10 weeks now however my dad suddenly passed away when they were just 5 weeks old and I've been struggling with the shock as it was all so unexpected, I'm glad he got to meet them though, I miss him so much. 

Klconfused so pleased you got your positive result, what wonderful news to hear. Wishing you all the best for your upcoming scan. 

Trin congratulations on being half way, that's another milestone reached, I bet it's going so much quicker this time. 

Crazy I really hope you get some answers soon and feel ready to move on to your next cycle, fingers crossed its the one for you. 

Caro I hope your cycles going well. 

Carter wishing you all the best for your lovely family. 

Hi to everyone else and thinking of you all xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Just to really quickly say I'm sorry for your loss Sasha. Really glad he met your girlies but it still is hard, especially when it's sudden. Look after yourself and allow all those stages of grief. Thinking of you x


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## Trin Trin

Oh Sasha I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad passing away:-( I lost my Dad 7 years ago and it was probably the hardest experience of my life. I was a real Daddy's girl and miss and think about him everyday. So glad your Dad was able to meet your girls. 

Happy to hear all is lovely with your baby girls!! X

Take care xxx


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## Carter4

Hi Ladies

caro - Sending you so much luck for your final cycle. 

Trin - Whahoo to hitting the half way point. 

KL - How's it going?

Crazy - I hope you are able to take that leap of faith with another clinic soon.

Sasha - Lovely to get an update from you, but very sorry to hear about your dad

Forever reading guys, and willing the 'oldies' on to their take home babies. Wishing any newbies success too x


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## hilly35

Hi, wonder can I join you ladies. Can't believe I am back here and with a son to boot. Am so blessed. Have decided to cycle again to try for a sibling and just had the news today that my amh has drastically nosedived. Down to 4.8. It's really knocked my confidence now. I'm 39 but would really like to have one more pregnancy. I am having my blood tests done this week and keeping everything crossed all ok so I can get the go ahead to start. 

Sasha was just reading the thread - terribly sorry to hear of the loss of your dad. Xxx


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## KLconfused

Sasha - so sorry to hear about your dad. Im very close to my parents and dread losing them. Its so good he got to meet your twins though. Is your mum still around? I know when my father in law passed very suddenly it was so hard on my mother in law and she needed so much support.  

Caro - hows your treatment going?

crazy - any progress on the complaint and new clinic? You have age on your side so take your time. I know what its like to feel you need a break. 

Thanks everyone else for your good wishes. 

trin - open the envelope, open the envelope 

Hilly - I had my daughter at 39 and things nosedived for me a bit after that but we had awful sperm to deal with too. AMH is just a number. I had my daughter when my AMH was 2. Ive tried since with an AMH of 17 (I was ill when first test was taken and it knocked the AMH even though docs said it wasn't possible for AMH to go up) and nothing so it really doesn't tell you much in isolation.  There are a few of us on here who have been trying for over 2 years for baby2 so were not the luckiest thread but were getting there!


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## ricks3

Hello ladies - can I join? 

We were so blessed to welcome a DD in Oct 2013 after a fresh cycle of IVF which also gave us 9 frosties. 

We have now been TTC a sibling for nearly a year with the frosties and have had 3 BFN so far... good embies every time and good lining etc so no reasons on paper for it to fail.

I'm in the TWW now for our 4th FET but given our recent history I am not feeling very hopeful. It is very hard keeping going and as I am now 42 time is slipping away from us and once these frosties are gone we will have to walk away.

I feel very conflicted about TTC #2 as I should be feeling so lucky and grateful about the child we do have so it feels greedy and ungrateful to be wanting another when we have so much - and yet other people have more than one so why not us.... grr - this is the endless debate in my head at the moment.

I was so sorry to hear about your Dad Sasha - I lost my Daddy nearly 7 years ago and not a day goes by when I don't think of him and I still cry for him all the time. He never got to meet our DD which saddens me - I am so glad your Dad got to meet your twins and so sorry for your loss xxx

Wishing success to everyone xx


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## hilly35

Thanks kl. appreciate your advice. You are so right. I'm just going to park the Amh score and plough on. Just been or blood tests to tick the boxes to go again this morning. Suspect something will show up with my thyroid but will deal with that. 

Ricks don't feel conflicted. You have every right to want number 2. It's my pet peeve that just because we do Ivf we shouldn't want number 2. I actually had a row with a girlfriend over the weekend who had her (2!!) boys naturally and was criticising a mutual friend who is struggling to conceive her second Ivf child. That she was getting obsessed. Yet if someone who can fall naturally has that second child decision snapped from them I don't think they would give it up so willingly. Sorry bit of a ramble but just annoys me. Really hope tww passes quickly for you xx


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## Crazy_frog

Kl and Trin I hope everything is progressing well. Kl remind me when your scan is again, I've serious memory issues. 
Thanks Carter, we're starting to get there but still waiting on complaint response (last day is today) and notes from old clinic. 
Natasha I hope all is well with your trip and you're doing ok n
Caro I hope dr is kind to you.
Welcome hilly and ricks, I wish you every success. I agree hilly with stupid comments I get a lot too! Ricks try to stay positive, it can work, but I know it's hard. When's your test date?
Hi to those I've missed, sorry memory is shot!!


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## Trin Trin

Hi hilly and ricks!! Welcome to the thread. Wishing you both all the luck with your cycles. Ricks when is your OTD? Hilly I too get frustrated when those who conceive easily make stupid comments, not having any really understanding of what we have to go through to conceive. A few of us are in the early 40s trying for another. Or started trying again at 39ish.

Caro how's it all going?

Crazy - hope you get a response soon to your complaint!!! They're taking their time aren't they 

Kl Hooe all is going well, a week and a bit until your scan. Hope time isn't going too slowly for you!!

AFM I'm doing okay, officially half way now and must admit time now is going quite quickly, thin because I have lots to do with house, building work and decorating etc. I'll be 22 weeks at my scan on 15 March. Not sure why it's booked in so late.


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## Crazy_frog

Half way already!! Wow that's fab Trin. Not long til next scan, we did building work last time....never again!! Best of luck with the craziness there. 
Yes they are now out of their stated response time. The receptionist phoned about our notes on Friday, I then asked about if we'd missed a letter re feedback. I wouldn't have specifically phoned, but just enquired. Got told they'd discussed us at monthly audit meeting....great but we should expect response soon. I stated I'm disappointed that it's taken so long. Ah well what did I honestly expect?? Frustrating though.


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## bumpylady

Hi all, decided to join here as we are wanting to go again.
Our daughter is 7 months and we have 4 frozen embryos. We are paying £600 a year storage fees, £300 for the embryos and £300 for the sperm. If we pay this year and next thats the cost of a frozen cycle.
I initially wanted to wait but feels that the time may be right now.


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## ricks3

Thanks Hilly for helping me feel entitled to a sibling  and thanks for the warm welcome ladies.

OTD was today and it's a BFN - our 4th one in a row now. I feel really flat and lost. I do not know what to do next. All our FET have been top quality blasts, lining has always been good, I've had a hysteroscopy come back showing a healthy womb, I've tried the scratch, heparin and clexane - and still BFN every time. I do not know what my clinic are going to say other than bad luck try again. I have been reading about repeated implantation failure and going for immunology tests at nearly £1K so not sure if we should change clinics and go this route - seems we are throwing away money and not getting anywhere. I have 4 frosties left (if they all defrost) and then that is the end of the line for us. I've been TTC sibling for a year now and am exhausted from it all. Feel tearful and frustrated and cross. Sorry for the rant ladies - just a really bad day.

xx


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## Jojonz

Hi everyone... another newbie to this thread! 
Ricks so sorry to read of your BFN specially after your journey over the past year. It must be so frustrating when there is no explanation. I guess each time it's a case of taking the time to acknowledge the grief / frustration etc that you feel and then getting into the best space you can for the next one. Is it useful to take a break before you try again? Sorry I don't have a lot to offer. 

bumpylady - excited to see your post! My son is 11 months and we're going to do a FET next month so only a few months after you. time feels right for us now too!

Everyone else, interesting to read of your journeys and see some positives and some challenging times too. 

AFM - our son is almost 12 months old and was success from a FET so I"m feeling really positive about trying again! This time it's my partners egg with the same donor sperm, so this is a genetic sibling for our son but not genetically mine but I'll be carrying the baby so feels pretty exciting. We already have the embryos frozen so we're lucky in that respect, now it's a case of getting my body ready to go. Hopefully we'll be all go mid April - so I'll be on here now joining you all in your successful journeys!


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## Crazy_frog

bumpylady and jojonz welcome! It's a lovely group on here, highs and lows all over the board. Also equipped with lots of lovely cheerleaders to support us all. 
Ricks I'm really sorry to hear of your bfn. It is horrible, huge hugs and just allow yourself to feel all those feelings. (I think clinics are a little too detached to it all- for me anyway it was a loss each time). Good luck with decisions about the future but remember give yourself and your body time. X
Still no sign of letter or our notes....getting a grump on now.


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## Amz2006

I keep reading but not sure I can keep up with you all!! 

So sorry to see its a BFN ricks, its so hard to understand why when everything seems to be a great cycle! Really hope your clinic can come up with some suggestions for another try.

Jojonz good luck for your next cycle! 

Crazy frog its so frustrating waiting on paperwork etc! Nobody ever seems to be in a rush!

I'm currently on a medicated FET. Got lining scan Friday and ET scheduled for next Thursday! We have 4 frosties which are currently day 3 but going to grow them to blast and hope to have a good one to go back! I can't believe we are actually trying for baby 3! Never thought id get to be a mum let alone be in this position! I do sometimes feel a bit guilty though when I know people who are still struggling to have first or second baby, does anyone else feel that way?

xx


----------



## loopylulu888

Hiya ladies ,

I've had a quick blast through the last load of pages trying to see who's who and was hoping I could join in this thread ?

I had my Son Jacob 18/6/14 after an ICSI cycle on the NHS and now that he is almost 2 we would like to have another.. We haven't quite made our mind up at the moment if we will have another full ICSI cycle or egg sharing. 
The cost of an ICSI cycle would mean that we could only afford 1 shot at the moment versus egg sharing with 3 shots provided I'm suitable for egg sharing which I'm hoping I am. We arnt cycling just yet but hoping to at the end of the year.

I'm currently having a lot of pelvic pain  , hence the delay in trying ,so having investigations into what is causing it. It's a constant dull ache with sharp pains when I bend and it's next to impossible to be intimate with my husband as the pain is excruciating. my ultrasounds have all come back normal &#128513; So the next step is a laparoscopy scheduled for April. Hoping to get to the bottom of it all. They are suspecting endometriosis but if not I'll be referred to the bowel people to continue investigations.

I'm hoping this will all be sorted within the year and then we can get going with talks about which option will be suitable as if it is endometriosis I'm aware some clinics will not accept me for egg sharing so will need to get this clarified

Anyway , enough about me.

Having read back a bit
*KL & Trin* congratulations on your BFPs. 
*sasha* congratulations on your twins. Also very sorry to hear about the passing of your dad.

Xx
Lauren


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## bumpylady

Thank you for the warm welcomes. I am actually really nervous about the cycle more so as we are classed as private now. Are there any tests the clinic will want us to repeat for a frozen cycle or is it a matter of just having the consultation and then getting started?


----------



## hilly35

Ricks really really sorry to see your news.   gutting to have so many Knocks in a row. I do hope your clinic can provide some help. 

Hi bumpy lady - no idea on tests as never done a fet but hopingypu don't need any and you can get cracking! Am sure one of the lovely ladies can advise. 

Looplulu hope everything shows up ok in tests and you are accepted for egg sharing. What a pain ( no pun!) lots of time on your side to get investigated although easy to say when I am sure you are frustrated with delay. 

Amz best of luck for transfer. Please don't feel guilty. I know what you mean. I have people I know still desperately trying for number one when we are thinking of going again but we really shouldn't feel that way. 

Crazy frog any updates - did you get your notes?

Afm. All delayed as thyroid issue.   on meds. But amh gas crashed so dramatically really wondering if all of this a sign to not go through the heart ache again. Feeling a bit despondent. 

Hi to everyone else xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Notes and response arrived, utter tosh of a response. Didn't say anything just sorry and a 5 week wait. Not happy. Just taking few days to construct my response, but I'm disappointed really, we loved that clinic and staff once, but they just didn't take good care of us on the end and we can't forgive that.


----------



## KLconfused

Crazy sorry to hear you didn't get a good response. Are you still going to get some money back?  I'm gutted for you and I know how hard it is moving to a new clinic.

Hi to all the newbies and good luck.

Looking forward to your update tomorrow trin after your 22 week scan.  I'm sure you will be able to see boy or girl although I'm not sure you will look! 

Afm 8 we scan today and lovely bouncy bean measuring 8+2. Strong heartbeat and it even wriggled a bit. Rung docs and got booking in appointment with midwife Wednesday.  Wasn't expecting it that soon. Dreading it a bit because of donor aspect but just need to get through it. Happy day.  Not ready to relax yet but getting there.


----------



## Carter4

Hi guys

Struggling to keep up with so many newbies on here, but I wish you all success in getting a sibling for your little ones.

Crazy I'm so sorry to see such an insulting response from your clinic. Fingers crossed that strike 2 gets them on their toes!

KL lovely to hear about your scan update. Still so utterly chuffed for you.

caro any update to share with us?

Good luck for tomorrow Trin.


----------



## caro8500

Hey all

Thought I'd check in. 

Crazy....sounds like moving on to a new clinic might be the right decision!  It certainly doesn't hurt to get a fresh opinion in my view. Although I know its hard having to go through everything again.Hope you manage to get some money back...it's the least they could do

KL. Fantastic news. so glad all is looking good.Bet you still have to pinch yourself to believe it. So so deserved after all you have been through 

Trin. Can't believe you are so far on already. Where does the time go. Hope tomorrow brings you more reassurance and excitement 

Carter. thanks for asking after me. Hope you and your family are well

Hello to all the newbies. Sorry I'm not replying individually. I will read back. Hope this thread is as successful for you all as much as it has (eventually) been for many of those who originally started on the journey for miracle number 2

AFM. Still down regulating. scan not till 23rd and hoping to start stimms then. Been trying not to think about it (not with great success!) hence I've been about but not posting much. It's just too hard to think that it all rides with this round! I think the pressure's going to be immense. One by one you've nearly all manged to reach the dream. Must be my turn next? 

xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Kl congrats so pleased all went well at scan. 
Trin how are you? Good luck for scan. 
Thanks all for understanding the frustration. We're gonna book appt and leave this rumbling on. Still waiting on refund. 
Caro, it is definitely your turn honey. Everything crossed and you sail though x


----------



## Carter4

I pray it is your turn next caro, you're one of the 'originals', and on a law of averages I hope Lady Luck swings your way this time.

Chip away Crazy, unfortunately we live in a society where he who shouts loudest etc


----------



## Trin Trin

Lovely seeing all the newbies keeping this thread going!!

Kl - Great news to hear all being well with your scan. So happy for you, I know too well how nerve wracking it is on scan day!!

Crazy - What a disappointment with the outcome of your complaint. I was really hoping for something a bit more positive. You must be so peed off!!!! Hoping s fresh start somewhere else is the magic ingredient for baby no.2

Caro my love I so hope this is the cycle for you. My god you do so so so deserve it to be your turn. Please keep us updated and if feeling the pressure release it on here as we are still here to support you!!

Carter loving the fact you still check up on us. The twins must be one nearly??....

AFM all well at my scan and so far so good. I'll be having a planned csection all being well for mid July. Also planning my last day at work, end of May as I have 4 weeks annual leave to take and manager has put the advert out for my maternity leave cover. All feeling a bit real now. X


----------



## abbey100

Hi

We are starting a fresh cycle on Monday. We have a 9 month old baby who took 4 ICSI cycles. We have one frozen embryo but were advised to try a fresh cycle first. Drugs arrived today so making it all real. Feeling quite chilled out at the mo and hard not to feel positive as we have our little boy from the last cycle. 
Just want to say good luck and would be nice to chat to others.


----------



## pookiepoo

Hi ladies, 
I am nowhere close to starting but starting to feel the tingles. 
My daughter is almost 7 months now and I'm still breastfeeding her 
We have 8 Frosties left but did need to do extensive immunes to succeed....so dreading that more than FET

I guess first I need to wind down breastfeeding and take it from there. I would like to keep going until she's one, but at the same time don't want to leave the second for too long. 

Pany


----------



## Crazy_frog

Hi abbey, all the best for tomorrow. Hope all goes ok for you. 
Pany, I am sure I've seen a members diary for someone breastfeeding and treatment. I know clinics don't like it, but I think it's dependent on how much feeding little one does, effect on cycle and times of medication. All the best for the next bit of the journey. 
Cheers Trin and Carter, I'm certainly getting a grump on but that's fine. We've booked appt for beginning of April, mixed  feeling and worries, but so is this journey. Struggling a bit, but need to move on and keep going. 
Kl how you feeling? You relaxing yet? 
Not sure I said before so 
Hilly, how you feeling now? Sorry you've got to wait, it sucks!!
Loopylulu I hope things progress well and your pain settles. 
Amz think I missed your transfer, hope all went well and best of luck for 2ww

Sorry for those I've missed, but hi!!


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## Amz2006

Crazyfrog, sorry it was a rubbish response, really hoping your app with the new clinic goes well!

Pany sorry no advise but I'm sure you must be able to work round these things when you are ready. Good Luck.

Abbey best of luck for your new cycle!! Hopefully it will work first time this go!

Trin Trin that's so exciting! Planning mat leave etc!!

Caro everything crossed this is your positive cycle!

Hi to everyone else... hope I haven't missed anyone. I struggle keeping up!

We had ET last Thursday so I am 4dp5dt. We had 4 frozen embryos which they grew from day 3's to blasts, all made it! One top grade on-board, 2 back in the freezer and sadly 4th one wasn't suitable for freezing. I'm going a bit crazy already...im never gonna hold out until OTD (29th) xx


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## Jojonz

Congrats amz, that's exciting... fingers crossed for you! That's great having two frozen blasts. 
Pany I hear you - my son is just 12 months and we're going ahead in April with our FET. I finished BF at 10.5 months and was a bit sad but all happened very naturally and we didn't want to delay our next round so it feels good but a tough decision!
Abbey you're all go too! Good luck this time round. 
Trin trin your last day of work is so close! Must be feeling real now
Caro - thinking of you and sending lots of luck

AFM - just waiting for day 1 and we'll be on the road again with our next FET. Our son is just 12 months old now, and was the result of our first FET so feeling really optimistic about this time round too! 

x


----------



## KLconfused

Trin so glad scan good. C section doesn't sound that far away now! Can't believe the last 2+ years on here. It's about time all us originals had a baby. 

Crazy- April will be here soon and hopefully the new clinic will give you a feeling of confidence and reassurance. 

Caro- I totally know how you feel with the last chance. It works for so many people but sadly not for me. Hopefully you will be luckier than I was. Good luck with the scan tomorrow.  I know that on my last round I didn't really want it to start because then there was hope. Sorry I'm not cheering you up!  2016 is your lucky year fingers crossed x 

Afm 9+1 today. Still very tense. Had midwife booking in appointment. Next scan 31st March at 10+3 on NHS due to history.  Seems ages away!  Counting down to being able to stop all the drugs at 12 weeks. I'm so bloated. Loads of nausea and can't stop eating. I'm also really missing running but too scared to do any now. Husbands convinced were having a boy. I've thought the last 3 were boys and they were all girls so I have no clue! 

Hi to all the newbies.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Kl I hope your next scan is all good. Thinking of you sweetie, let us know how you are. I hope soon you can relax a little and "enjoy" it. 
Caro, have you started yet? How are you doing, is pain better and everything crossed for you. 
Wow Trin, that's flying by!! Hope you're doing ok and must be counting down those days!
Carter, Sasha and Penelope hey, hope families are good and you're enjoying the holidays (think some of you older kids are at school?)
Amz how are you doing? Test date must be soon I hope you're doing ok. Let us know, whenever your ready, how you're doing. 
Jojonz when might you be starting? 
Pant and Abby hope you're ok and things moving along for you.
Sorry if I've missed lots of people. 

So we finally are getting our money back, yeah they're mega cross at us but "goodwill" rubbish and rude letters, I've made my point and thrown my toys. Finally feel we can draw the line, but that's sad. Those nurses saw us last time, they "saw" our daughter with us first, they know us and our family. I'm still angry for their crap care, we couldn't go back, but it's the end of that part. 
New clinic appt next week, Mixed feelings of anxious and excited but mainly just wanting to get going. Ah well, we've waited this long!! Sorry for the ramble, probably should have a diary!!


----------



## KLconfused

Crazy it is sad because we get so close the the clinic staff as they are with us at a time when we're going through something very difficult. It's good you've got money back though and hopefully now you can move forward. 

Trin 24 weeks is great. So jealous ☺

Caro how are you. Thinking of you as I know your having a tough time. 

I've just had a scan at 10+3. Saw heartbeat and a very very active baby. First tummy scan so couldn't make out much detail or get measurements but I think I'm reassured! This is the week I started bleeding with my first mc so I'll be glad when it's over. Sonographer said baby looked great. 

Sadly my oldest dog was diagnosed with terminal cancer yesterday so I'm  now nursing her until I have to say goodbye. I owe her so much as she has been with me for the last 8 years through all our awful horrendous problems and she has been what's kept me going a lot of the time. She got to top championship level at agility and our training and competing helped me stay sane during many troubles. I owe her so much. I'm trying to spend lots of time with her but with a demanding daughter it's hard. 

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Great news about scan kl. sorry about your dog, they're part of our families and are the sanity saviours! Hugs to you xx


----------



## abbey100

Good news about the scan. Hope it's putting your mind at rest. 
Well done for getting a refund crazy frog but sorry to hear the story behind it. 

I have had my baseline scan today, a day ahead of the other cycles I had. Lining was 2.3 which I thought was a bit thick. My cycle started with the pill and was supposed to have had a bleed when I stopped taking it but I didn't. The dr who normally does the scan wasn't there and it was just nurses. I tried to explain this but no one was really listening. Follicle count was ok with 9. They will ring me later with the go ahead. Just not sure about the linning. Had to pay for the cycle today so it's all become quite real.


----------



## caro8500

Hi All

Well had my egg collection today but only got 3 eggs. pretty gutted and I cried when they told me.
I was put on top dose of menopur (7 vials /525) this time in the hope of getting a few more eggs. Knew I had less follicles than last cycle but still surprised to only get 3 (got 9 eggs last cycle). Really nervous that I'll get a call saying none have fertalised tomorrow  
I have very little pain from egg collection but am having some bleeding/mucous type stuff. They told me that some endo type/brown blood came out of one of the follicles which they seemed a little concerned about. I was given antibiotics during collection but guess I need to keep an eye out for any signs of infection. 
Tucked up in bed now trying really hard not to think about that call tomorrow.

xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Caro everything crossed for you. I know it's heartbreaking but you've have got 3. Come on little ones do your stuff. Hope pain settles down and bleeding stops soon. Take it easy tonight and try to rest. Will be thinking of you, xx


----------



## KLconfused

Caro I hope your feeling better soon and the bleeding stops. Sounds like a difficult operation. I know what a toll it takes being on this thread over 2 years and watching nearly everyone else get their babies. My thoughts are with you and I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I really hope it's good news. Let us know. Xx


----------



## Trin Trin

Hey Caro, think we know what it's like with disappointing egg collection. However, you have 3!!!! One good one is all that's needed, so let's focus on hoping there's a good one or even 2 out of the 3. Your experience sounds a bit painful needing antibiotics, so try your best to relax and rest for the evening. I'm keeping everything crossed for a positive phone call in the morning. Xx


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Quick hi to everyone! 

Kl, glad scans have all been good so far and fingers crossed you get through this next week and can looms start to look forward to your next scan. Sorry to ready about your dog. 

Crazy, fab news on getting your money back and hope appointment with new clinic goes well.

Trin, 24 weeks! Wow!! Have you opened the envelope yet?!??

Caro, thinking of you and wishing you good news tomorrow lovely.

Hello to all the newbies and Sasha and carter if you're lingering in the background 

Xx


----------



## Carter4

Oh my goodness caro what a time of it you are having. I think we all get why you are gutted with three, but we are also all quietly hopeful that your 'One' is in there....I really do hope you get a positive call tomorrow. Sending you so much luck across the cyberwaves x


----------



## caro8500

Thanks Pen, Trin, Carter, Crazy and KL thankfully all 3 have fertilized!! So pleased to be over the first hurdle...all about the quality now. Will get an update tomorrow and then transfer will be Tuesday. 

Crazy...pleased you managed to get your money back. There's no excuse for rubbish care. Have you settled on which clinic you are going with? Hopefully you'll get a good vibe and some better advice! 
KL...Bet it feels like you're living from scan to scan at the moment but great all looked good with your last one. 
Trin...time is whizzing by. Will you have any more scans or is that it until you meet your little one. 
Pany, Jojonz....great you feel ready to get going again. It took me a lot longer after having my son to be able to get to the stage of feeling ok to try again. In some ways I wish I hadn't have waited so long, maybe by eggs would have been a bit better
Amz ...hope you are doing ok

xx


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Woohoo fantastic news Caro! So pleased for you. Do you know how many you are going to have to put back? Can you have all 3? Xx


----------



## Carter4

Yippee, brilliant news caro      . Hope your telephone call this morning has been/will be equally as good. Heaps of luck for your transfer tomorrow x

Ps To any newbies reading, I am ashamed to admit I cannot keep up with the different stages you all are at, but just like I wish nothing but the best for the long term ladies in this group, I really hope you get to fulfil your sibling dreams x


----------



## caro8500

Thanks. Had my call and have 2 at the 2 cell stage and 1 at the 3 cell stage. 2 are looking good, one more fragmented. Disappointed that none are at 4 cells...did everyone have 4 cells at day 2 on your successful rounds?

Transfer definitely tomorrow. I didn't even think to ask if I could have all 3 put back Pen. Always just had 2 but will see what they say about 3.

Meant to be having gestone injections, but been given prontogest as an alternative due to shortage of gestone. As dose is higher will have them every other day. Has anyone else had these before and how did you get on?. DH will be giving me them as they go intramuscular in my back side. The needle look huge and I've heard it hurts and can cause an abscess. Dreading them to be honest 

x


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Sorry I can't answer any of your questions caro. Just wanted to wish you lots of luck for transfer tomorrow xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Can't help either Caro but wishing you all the very best for your transfer tomorrow.


----------



## Carter4

caro my DD1 was a 3 cell on a 2dt. Dig deep, keep believing anything is possible, and remember to cut yourself some slack if you find yourself faltering. Not had the im injections either, but good luck with them.


----------



## caro8500

Thanks Carter...good to hear about DD1
Had 2 embryos put back. one 6 cell grade 1-2 -(1 being best in my clinic) and a 4 cell grade 2. There was a 5 cell but they felt the 4 cell looked better. They wouldn't put all 3 back!
Obviously not nearly as good as last cycle where I had a 8 cell and a 9 cell but that didn't result in a pregnancy so who knows. 
Bring on the waiting! 
x


----------



## Trin Trin

Caro glad to hear you have 2 good quality embryos on board!! Don't worry too much about the cell division, as you say you had higher cell division before. Focus on they're good quality and they're in the best place, getting prepared to get nice and cosy for 9 months!!!!🙏🙏🙏🙏 x


----------



## Crazy_frog

So pleased that they're home and hope you feeling bit more positive. We obsess over every number in this journey, but sometimes I am not sure it helps. Fingers crossed the wait is kind to you and you get your bfp.
Appointment is tomorrow, feeling quite anxious but ready


----------



## Carter4

Good luck with your 2ww caro, here's really hoping. When is your otd? x


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Good luck with the 2ww caro, hoping it's a speedy one for you and o have everything crossed that you get your long awaited and totally deserved bfp xxx


----------



## KLconfused

Caro - great news your in the 2ww. I think we all seem to take comfort if we have a cycle similar to others weve had even when we have had a BFN. But realistically a different cycle like you've just had could be more likely to work. quality over quantity! what happened to 3rd embryo? did you freeze it.  
whats your OTD?

I saw Dr Gorgy today and am very underwhelmed. He just kept yawning all through the appointment. Good news is i can come off the utrogestan, progynova and prednisolone in the next 2 weeks. He said to stay on clexane until 31 weeks. Got to make a decision about intralipids as he recommended IVIG instead and im not comfortable with that. Im not convinced i need either but im too scared not to. Came home very upset as i didn't get the feeling of trust and reassurance i was hoping for. A weekend to ponder what to do. I just wish it was October 24th now!

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## natasha0483

Wow, such a lot going on since I was last on here - I've been taking a break from FF in the run-up to our next cycle to stop my brain working overtime!
Caro, congrats on your transfer and hope the dreaded 2ww passes quickly for you.
Trin, glad to see your last scan went well - not long to go now!
Crazy, great news that you managed to get a refund. Did you decide on Create in the end?
KL, great that your scan went well - sorry your consultation today was unsettling. Are you going to get a second opinion?
Afm, I'm on day 6 of stimms, in Athens, which feels a bit surreal. Had first scan with clinic today and they seemed positive so fingers crossed. Last time I had a good number of eggs but fertilisation rate was poor so hoping for fewer but better quality eggs this time.. EC will probably be on Weds.

Hi to everyone I've missed!

Xx


----------



## caro8500

Crazy...how did your appointment go? Really hope you came out feeling more confident in this clinic. Do you know when you will be starting again?
Natasha...good to hear from you. Cycling in Greece certainly sounds better than rainy England! I know it's hardly a holiday but do you get chance to do a bit of sight seeing?
KL - 3rd embryo stopped dividing at 10 cell stage. In 6 cycles I've never had any good enough to freeze. Maybe that says something about my egg quality! Hope your decision regarding continuation of your meds becomes clearer this weekend. 
Carter my OTD is 18th April wondering with the prontogest whether I will get to test date this time... whether its positive or not is a different matter
DS has been keeping me very occupied this week but he's back at school Monday. Have to say I've been feeling well compared to other cycles. Not sure if that's a good thing. Been having no symptoms of anything much really...very different to other cycles when I've had lots of cramps and pain. Could just be that with only 3 eggs by body has recovered from egg collection quicker

xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Caro each cycle can be so different and it's really early for symptoms. Hopefully your body is recovering well and that's going to make all the difference for you. Hope you can keep busy when your son is back at school. 
Kl sorry your appointment was more reassuring. Make decisions that you feel comfortable with and have no regrets, what's right for you. I understand the wishing it away but it all seems to be going so well. 
Natasha, how glorious to be cycling in the sun (I hope) sure it'll help the growth!! How are you finding it all being abroad? Fingers crossed for a good crop of eggs next week. 
Yeah we have gone with create. Appointment was good, they have suggested mild although suggesting a higher dose of gonal then previously used. They haven't seen an AMH as high so they've repeated AMH and taken thyroid function tests so awaiting those.  However just to kick us, there was a cyst on the left which they would like gone before we cycle. They are used to low AMH and are happy to start asap normally. Just can't believe the first time ever there's a cyst, hoping it'll disappear with this period and that's already arrived so fingers crossed it'll shrink now. Now we're back to sperm catalogue and finding a good donor. Haven't missed this bit!! They also use prednisolone and clexane which is different to our previous experience, are we crazy to think this might help. Reassured they measure bloods at each scan to monitor. Consultant was lovely and because we're at satellite clinic, we will see him or one nurse each scan which is massive positive. 
Got hideous shift pattern at moment so sorry for being missing and hi to everyone I've missed. Hope everyone ok.


----------



## Zaaiioo

Hi

I have just received the results to my immune tests. I am hoping that someone will be able to help me understand the meaning of these results and possible treatments that I may have to have.


NK Assay (% killed) Panel
50:1        24.8
25:1          19
12.5:1        13,4
IVIG 12.5 50:1 ** 10,6
IVIG 12.5 25:1 ** 11,6
Intralipid 1,5 mg/ml  50:1 ** 11,6
Intralipid 1,5 mg/ml. 25:1 ** 13,7

-------------------------------------------------------------
%CD3, % CD19 , %CD 56 within normal limits

%CD19+cells, CD5+ *4,3 (5-10) 

Leukocyte Antibody Detection
Flowcytometry	Negative
(T-cells) IgM+ 1
(T-cells) IgG+ 2,5
(B-Cells) IgM+ 1
(B-Cells) IgG+ 1

TH1:TH2 Intracellular Cytokine Ratios
TNF-a:IL-10 (CD3+CD4+) *31,6% ( normal limits 13.2 – 30.6)
IFN-g:IL-10 (CD3+CD4+) *7,2% 

PAI-1 4G/5G Gene Polymorphism : Heterozygous mutated 

MTHFR: Heterozygote


----------



## KLconfused

zaa - there is an immunes board within the clinics part of the forum with London and other places. Your more likely to have luck there as I think im the only one on here to have the immunes testing and im afraid I don't know enough to give answers. 

Caro - glad things sound so positive. Its good you feel well and no symptoms at this stage is normal. Only 1 week to go. 

Crazy - glad you had a good appointment. I think clexane and steroids is definitely worth a try. Me and trin have both used them. I had a cyst at the start of my second round of treatment at ARGC. It was so frustrating as ihad never had one before. I had it aspirated a the start of the cycle and carried on. In hindsight I wish I had let it go naturally so hopefully yours will have gone naturally now. I know how hard it is to wait an extra month.

AFM - still having sleepless nights about what drugs to take but counting down to next scan on 21st at 13+3. Im 12 weeks today which seems a milestone in itself.


----------



## Crazy_frog

12 weeks already kl, that's fab. Not long til next scan and hope you'll be able to relax more each time you see little one. Hard to decide about meds but hope you reach a decision. 
Yeah cyst is a bummer but not end of world. Just really want to know what's going on. The clex/ pred combo might help and we just would love to be done with all this, so will try it!! If next cycle isn't possibl? We'll be waiting til July cos of booked holiday. Which is frustrating. So everything crossed it all behaves!! Just want to have a chance!! Last two cycles we've not even had a wait...never thought I'd miss that!


----------



## Trin Trin

Wow Kl! 12 weeks that's a great milestone, the waiting for those milestone scans are just horrible. Not too long to go. How you feeling? How's the nausea?

Caro glad you're feeling okay,That's good, it's the last week or days leading to OTD which turn me s little insane!!

Crazy What s bummer re cyst! I hope it clears up for next cycle. I think a change in protocol is a good thing. Clexane and pred was the change that helped me so I hope it's the magic ingredient for you too!!

AFM nothing to report really. I'm 26 weeks now.

Hi to all the newbies xx


----------



## natasha0483

Crazy, that's really bad luck about the cyst - hope it gets sorted quickly and that you'll be ready to go next cycle. The change in protocol sounds positive. I'm on Clexane and Pred too - hope they work for both of us!
Caro, hope you're managing to keep busy in the last few days of the 2ww - the hardest bit! Hope you're feeling ok.
KL, 12 weeks, that's great. Have you decided what to do about the meds?
Afm, cycling abroad been a really good experience so far - the clinic has been brilliant and I've been free every day after a quick scan in the morning, so it's felt like a holiday. Egg collection today..
Xx


----------



## Trin Trin

Good luck Natasha with egg collection!! Cycle sounds nice and chilled so far.....being in a warm climate abroad is a massive bonus too


----------



## KLconfused

Natasha - good luck today. fingers crossed

crazy - I remember the waiting well. it was worse than anything else. I really hope you get good news and start quickly. 

trin - wow it feels like your nearly there! 

Caro - the 2nd week of the 2ww sends me nuts. hope your holding up OK

AFM just booked the next intralipids for next week after the scan on Thursday so I can cancel if theres a problem. Then ill see NHS consultant in 2 weeks and decide what to do from there. My nausea has largely gone and my boobs aren't sore now so obviously im worrying. I am getting bigger but not much as ive seriously cut down on junk food. so far sweet food has made my nausea worse which has been great but that's now stopped so im back to wanting sweet treats. Im tapering off the prednisolone and stopping oestrogen and progesterone on Saturday and looking forward to that - especially the pessaries. 
Not crying so much about the loss of my lovely dog but I still feel sad all the time. The house is wrong without her.  Even without her loss though my mood seems a lot more down than I would expect being as I got my BFP. I think I still have some things to come to terms with regards de but not really thinking about it until we get passed the 13 week scan. I also seem to have one bug after another. Its constant. I know my 2 year old probably gives me stuff but ive never had it like this before and its exhausting. but I do have the odd happy moment and hopefully they will increase. Ive decided ill relax from 20 weeks when I can feel kicks and know baby is alive between scans


----------



## caro8500

Going completely insane. Had forgotten how rubbish the 2nd weeks wait is. Sorry for TMi but had some yellowy discharge and some cramping this morning which makes me think AF is on its way. Feeling low today

Natasha...hope your egg collection went well

x


----------



## Carter4

Awwww Caro   I've only just seen this......the second part of the 2ww is hardcore. Hang on in there, hiss/boo stay away AF xx


----------



## Trin Trin

Hey Caro, the last few days are always the hardest. Not too long to go. Please try not to loose hope, I had cramping in this cycle, have to try and ignore the symptoms as they really do not determine the outcome. Keep positve and we're all thinks of you X


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Caro, please don't give up hope yet, I'm praying that Af doesn't show for you and that the cramping and the discharge are all good signs. Thinking of you xx


----------



## natasha0483

Poor you, Caro - these last few days of the 2ww are awful, no two ways about it. I know it's tough but don't lose heart. 

Afm 9 eggs were collected on Wednesday, of which 6 fertilised. I have to wait till tomorrow for more info, but I'm relieved that we've made it further than last time, when I had a day 2 transfer of 2 fragmented embryos. Really hoping for good news..

Xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thinking of you Caro, not long now. Fingers crossed they're good signs!!


----------



## KLconfused

Good luck tomorrow Caro.  Really hope it's a good day for you.


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Good luck for otd tomorrow Caro, I have everything crossed for you my lovely. Look forward to reading about your bfp in the morning xx


----------



## Trin Trin

Thinking of you for tomorrow Caro x


----------



## Carter4

Hoping tomorrow is a really happy day for you caro, fingers are so tightly crossed for you xx


----------



## caro8500

Thanks everyone. Nice to have made it to test date. Sooooo nervous x


----------



## natasha0483

Best of luck today Caro xx


----------



## Carter4

caro hun I think we are all systematically checking this thread......if it was bad news, I am more than sorry, but the eternal optimist in me is hoping beyond hope that you are just to busy with real life to be concerned with updating this thread with your good news   xx


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Yes, I must confess I've been checking the thread all day for a post from you caro. Like carter I'm hoping you just haven't had time to share your good news with us yet xx


----------



## Trin Trin

Ditto!! Me too xx


----------



## caro8500

Another BFN. After really a vivid dream that I tested positive. There are no words at the moment! x


----------



## Carter4

Oh caro that is so utterly ****e my lovely. You're right there are no words  . Here if you need us, just remember that xxx


----------



## Trin Trin

I have no words either apart from it's just so damn unfair:-( As always we are here for you. Take care my love xx


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Oh caro, I'm so so gutted for you. As you and the other ladies have said, there are no words. I hate how utterly cruel and unfair this rollercoaster can be. Thinking of you and please feel free to rant at us as much as you want. Xx


----------



## natasha0483

So very sorry Caro. xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thinking of you Caro, agree with others it's utterly rubbish. X


----------



## KLconfused

So gutted for you caro.  I really hope you get some answers from your clinic at the follow up so you can see a way forward. X


----------



## Crazy_frog

Caro, how are you doing love? I hope you're taking care of yourself. 
Kl how you doing with medicine decisions? I know you're going to be processing lots of thoughts soon. I think I missed about your lovely dog passing and can understand the sadness. You also need to be kind to yourself. 
Natasha I hope all is ok for you at the moment, are you still away or are you back here now? Hope you're feeling positive. 
Afm we got thyroid and AMH results. Thyroid spot on but AMH still high (dropped from ridiculous to just very high) but they seem positive. Period showed on time so they're hopefully cyst is resolving. Fingers crossed. Treatment consult next week and planning for cycle. 
Trin I hope you're good and winding down soon, Carter hope all is well for your family and hi to Penelope too x


----------



## KLconfused

Crazy glad things are moving forward for you.  Won't be long now before your in the midst of it all again. 

Caro how are you coping?have you got a date for the followup appointment? Totally understand why you need  to stay away from ff. I did too when things got really tough. 

Natasha hope things are looking promising for you. 

Trin how's things?

Afm scan today. Baby wouldn't play ball but she eventually.got the measurements.  Measuring 1 day ahead and all looked fine. Just got to wait for result of the tests now. Due date 23.10.16. 
I've stopped clexane and started aspirin as that seems to be the norm. Having an intra lipid infusion this afternoon  and will see the consultant next Tuesday to see if I need anymore of them. So a good day and very happy although I still feel fairly detached but I think that's nerves.


----------



## Carter4

caro thinking of you. I know it's easy to offer a listening ear when we are nearly all sitting pretty, but we are also sadly too familiar with the pain and turmoil that comes with failed cycles. The disappointment can be overwhelming sometimes. The despair in those early days eats away at you. Maybe you will try again? Maybe I need to shut up? We so wanted this for you x

KL fab news that all is progressing well. Fx you get reassuring results back x

Crazy sounds as if things are moving in the right direction. Good luck with your consultation next week x


----------



## natasha0483

Caro, I hope you're doing ok. 

KL, that's great news that your scan went well - must have been a relief. Great that you can start reducing the meds too.

Crazy, how did the consultation go?

Afm, I've been off the site for a while to preserve my sanity during the 2ww. Otd is tomorrow but I took an early test yesterday and got a bfp! So pleased and amazed but also trying not to get ahead of myself. Really hoping it will stick.

Xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Consult was ok thanks Natasha. Scan next week to check for cyst, so fingers crossed. 
How exciting Natasha, fingers crossed for official one! But thats wonderful news!


----------



## KLconfused

congrats Natasha
crazy - good luck for next week
caro - how are you?

Trin - hows things? May already so nearly there!

AFM had test results from nuchal scan and all low risk. Got some maternity clothes. Not wearing them yet but wont be long. I feel HUGE! Midwife appointment on 11th so a while yet and beginning to worry I haven't seen or heard baby for a while. Patience is not a virtue of mine!

hi to everyone else.


----------



## Trin Trin

Congrats Natasha!! Great news!! 
Caro - Hope you're doing okay, are you going to have a review or had any thought what's next? 
Crazy - How did your scan go? Has the cyst gone? 
Kl - Glad to hear all the tests came back with very low risk!!! Such a relief knowing the risk is low. So pleased all is going in the right direction.
Carter - I'm sure the twins will be one this month!! Wow!! 
Pene - If you're still following hope all is well with and the boys!!

AFM I'm nearly 29 weeks. Had a scan on Friday, baby is big, but not surprised as my daughter was 9lb5oz. I'm being tested tomorrow for gestational diabetes, will be having growth scans every 4 weeks, may mean baby will be delivered earlier than week 39. Still haven't purchased a thing!!!!


----------



## Crazy_frog

Trin that's great, hope all well with gtt and nice to have frequent scans to keep eye on little one. 
Caro thinking of you X
Kl hope is al ok with you and good luck for midwife appt. 
Natasha hope all is good. 
Hi to other ladies following along, hope you are all well
Scan isn't til Thursday and everything crossed. Have spent the weekend in the garden making edible planters, next step patio orchard. Has been great fun, even if dd is ready to eat everything already..... here's hoping for nicer weather soon.


----------



## KLconfused

trin - how was the GD test. I had it with my daughter but I cant remember when I got the results. 
Looks like you wont have long to go. My daughter was 9lb1 so I feel for you with a big baby especially as I think your petite. I did see a 6lb baby at play group today and they are scary small so big is good!

caro - have you had your follow on meeting at the clinic yet?

Crazy - good luck Thursday. not long now. I know what its like waiting to get started. 

AFM still feeling very moody most of the time, nausea still here especially in the evening. Had a try of maternity wear yesterday but decided I wasn't ready for it so back in normal clothes today. I have started to tell more people and reactions have been lovely. Going to tell daughter after I see midwife next Wednesday if everything is OK. 15 weeks now which feels good. I just want to be past 20 weeks though. Ive read I could start feeling movements from 16 weeks and that's what im looking forward to. Although I feel HUGE so not sure any movements will get through the layers of fat! Daughter is supposed to be starting nursery next Monday but im still not sure about the place so im looking at 2 more nurseries this week. eek. I keep crying at the thought of sending her and she went to a crèche whilst I did a course today and I was only in the room next door for 1.5 hours and I just wanted to burst into tears. I think it must be pregnancy hormones. I also fall asleep on the sofa at 6.10pm when hubbie gets home and I wake myself up snoring with my daughter staring at me saying what you doing mummy?  
hi to everyone else. 
carter - happy birthday to the twins.


----------



## HopingAndPraying

Hi ladies X 

Do you mind if I join you , my details are on my signature! I'm at a bit of a cross road and not sure what way to turn , IVF just doesn't seem to work for me and just feel so sad as it's the only option I have for a second baby! Is it really a numbers game? I can't help think it's poor eggs even though my clinic argc have said there are no indication of this , I have been on full whack of immunes drugs! 

I was lucky to conceive naturally in between cycles and have a little girl 💗 but sadly my hubbies sperm has deteriorated again so natural conception is out of the question. 

I had a FET in March and had a good BFP but sadly it was an early m/c again I keep thinking egg issue! My heart is telling me go again with argc before it's too late but my head is saying if you got a BFN 2.5 years ago with younger eggs and sperm what hope do I have! argc say I have a 50% chance now!  

I'm so sorry to gate crash your thread and blurb all this information out , would just love any advice you lovely ladies may have? 

Huge huge congratulations to those who have succeeded with a BFP second time around you must be over the moon X wishing you the very best 💗

I will read back now and thanks for reading xxx


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## hilly35

Hi hoping. You sound like you need a massive hug today. I've been lurking around this thread and reading these wonderful ladies posts. I guess I don't have an answer for you but if Argc are saying 50% chance if you cycle again with them they seem pretty good odds. They would tell you if there was a major issue with your eggs. They would have to. You must still be raw from your mmc too. I really hope you decide what your next steps are. It's so tough.  

Afm I have started cycling again. Day 3 of stimms. Keep being told I won't respond as well and at my baseline the scanner told me there were very few follicles so am feeling a little freaked and pretty despondent. I used to have such positivity but it's lacking at the moment. My job is just about to go too so that's kind of knocking me for 6 too. I really need to give myself a kick up the bum. I guess I just so much want a sibling for my son that I am afraid of investing all my emotions and facing a negative again.


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## HopingAndPraying

Hi hilly 

Thank you so much for responding X just so nice to speak to like minded people as no one in real life understand and have just assumed I'm happy with one lo when I'm bursting inside. No one knows we have even had a FET in March. But anyway ....

Congrats on your little boy 💙and SO exciting to be in Stimms again , and don't be despondent as on day 3 it's too early to tell , it sounds like you will still respond well . What protocol are you on and would you mind if I asked you what protocol that was for sperm on the cycle with your little boy , sounds very good.  Sending you lots of PMA for this cycle and well done for being brave enough to go again as this journey is not for the feint hearted. 

Good luck xxx


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## hilly35

Hi hoping. I'm on a short protocol, taking fostimon, certrotide and then gonal f.  When we were successful on my son we used a new chemical (first time for my clinic) which was introduced when the sperm and eggs were put together. It basically sends a message to them both to get jiggy.   Before that nothing was fertilising. The fertilisation rate is very low with it though which is why I need lots of eggs and why I am so despondent as there doesn't seem to be many. Anyway trying not to stress until my scan on Friday. 
Like you of course I am thrilled with my son but would so want to give him a sibling. We will only do 2 cycles so I really feel the clock is ticking. Phone you come to a decision yourself though - so bloody tough isn't it


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## Crazy_frog

Hi hoping, it's really hard, the journey sucks at times and it's great to have those who know to chat to. I am really glad there's more ladies coming along to join us here. There's now lots of cheerleaders and success on here. I guess everyone makes their own decision for what it right, I try to use a no regret logic- would I regret doing it or not doing it more and go from there. 
Hi hilly it's early on day 3, everything crossed next few scans show good crop coming along for you. Keep up with fluids and protein as it'll help. 
Being positive is hard chuffing work and we all keep those pmas going for so long. It's ok to be tired and fed up. This thread has been my sanity saviour at times, or just let me vent. 
All the luck in the world to you both, I am sure this whole thing is flipping luck most of the time!!


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## natasha0483

Hoping - it's so hard but 50% sounds like pretty good odds, and argc are an excellent clinic..
Hilly - good luck for your cycle - it's early days yet!
Crazy - best of luck for your scan today. Will be crossing my fingers for you.
KL - great to get a low risk result. Congrats on being 15 weeks!
Trin - not long now! Good that you'll be getting regular scans.
Afm I'm 5+1 and feeling ok. No sickness yet (but I didn't feel sick when pregnant with my little boy either). Feel like I'm holding my breath until the 7-week scan. 

Hi to everyone I've missed. 
Xx


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## Crazy_frog

Woohoo Natasha it's official then!! Do you just arrange a scan privately or are you popping back to Greece? Really pleased for you. Let's hope changing clinic is magic for us too! Will update post scan x


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## hilly35

Congrats on your pregnancy Natasha xx


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## HopingAndPraying

Hi hilly thank you for explaining your protocol! Really hope your appointment tomo gives you good news and your follies are growing nicely 👍🏻! There are so many obstacles in one cycle it's so hard to remain positive! But fingers crossed this is the cycle that will be successful same as before! I am the exact same I can be so positive for others but when it comes to me I'm like there's no way I can be this lucky when I already have a beautiful miracle! But as the ladies on this thread have demonstrated it can be done! 💗

Natasha congrats on your BFP! Amazing news! Wishing you lots of best wishes at this stage as know how nerve wracking early pregnancy is! 

Hi crazy how are you doing? 

I forgot to say on my last post is that the issue I have with cycling at Argc again is I live in Scotland and they are in London and they have a bootcamp approach where it's intense for 2-3 weeks so I have to be in London! If Argc was on my doorstep it would be a no brainer , but like you say I don't want any regrets! I do have the option of cycling with my local clinic GCRM which is literally 2 minutes from me but ARGC have got me further so far with a BFP although sadly it wasn't to be! So that's where I am just now! Also my local clinic is 5K versus ARGC at 15k a cycle! But hey ho! 

Sorry for big long post again! 

Hope all the other ladies are keeping well 

Xx


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## Crazy_frog

Wow hoping that is commitment, I have heard argc is intense and very full on, but results are good so hopefully the pressure of it will help get you success. 
Our scan showed huge reduction in cyst, bloods show progesterone level spot on and lining was described as "beautiful"....only on fertility clinics right? So we are all systems go with next period, short protocol again without clomid and higher dose of gonal but monitoring scans and bloods to keep a check on it all. Pulling the positive pants out and hoping as always, just like all of us, that this is the time. 
Hellos to everyone.


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## HopingAndPraying

Crazy amazing news with your results , sounds like a great start for your next try . 

Hoping this is the one for you! And sounds like a good plan for your protocol 👍🏻 

This journey always feels like one big waiting game it's hard going. 

Yes argc is intense with daily bloods and scans etc , that's what racks the costs up. They have amazing stats which makes it worse when you fall at the wrong side of them. As my fresh was 70% chance a few years ago so had pinned all my hopes on these silly stats for it to be a BFN so not paying much attention this time. 

Hope the time to next AF flies in and you can be on your way xxxx


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## Crazy_frog

Thanks hoping, I always think statistics are pants but never more so than at clinics. It's simple, it works or it doesn't and for all of us peeing on a stick, waiting to see that flicker, or finally holding that baby.... % is utter (insert 4 letter word of choice). Buuuut positive here, it can work, it does work and we will hopefully get it soon. Keep hoping and dreaming, yeah the disappointment could be awful- but it could maybe make a difference.


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## natasha0483

Crazy that is excellent news! Love it when they go all poetic over a lining. Change of clinic can only be a good thing, and sounds like you're off to a good start. Yay! 
My scan will (hopefully) be on the NHS - the gp says that because I've had ivf and I'm over 40 an early scan is standard. Which is a relief as I can't look any further than 2 weeks away at the moment!

Hoping, that is a long way to travel and it sounds full-on. I went to Athens for my recent cycle though - if you've got confidence in your clinic it's worth it I reckon. Can you treat it as a holiday or is it too intense for that?

Hilly, hope you're doing ok?

Hello to everyone else x


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## abbey100

Hi
We have recently had a BFN from our 5th fresh cycle. Our 4th cycle gave us 1 frosty and our LO. We are lucky to have 3 Frosties from our 5th cycle as well. When I went to the review with the dr he said it was probably the embryo didn't make it and at my age, 37, 40% of the embryos will not make it. I left feeling quite deflated. I know the statistics for IVF are low but starting to wonder if it's worth even going through with a frozen cycle. I have never had a frozen cycle before and would love to have a brother or sister for LO. Just feeling sorry for myself. Need to find some positives. We are pencilled in to have the frozen cycle at the end of the month but not sure whether to delay this.


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## Crazy_frog

Abbey I'm really sorry this cycle wasn't to be. Frosties are great though, depending on how recently and how you're feeling, just make sure you give yourself time and look after yourself. We've never been lucky enough for Frosties, so can't offer any advice. I'm are knowledgeable ladies will be along soon.


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## HopingAndPraying

Hi abbey sorry to read of your recent fresh cycle X sending you a big hug X 

I have just completed a frozen cycle and it was by far so much easier and relaxed compared to fresh! Your body is also nice and rested to receive your embies back. I did a natural FET so my clinic tracked ovulation anf popped the embies back 5 days after Ov! I would say when you feel up to it go for it! All those Frosties are amazing to have! I have one left but thinking of a fresh cycle this time! Good luck X 

Natasha how are you feeling? How did you find serum? I was chatting to Maria over email today as would consider serum as penny helped us alongside Argc a few years ago and she was brilliant so I figured if I have to fly to London then maybe Athens isn't too bad and the price is reasonable too! How long did you have to spend in Athens ? Was it hard to manage your cycle their with your little one? 

Crazy hope you ate doing ok 👍🏻

Hilly hope your scan went well today X sending you lots of luck 

Xxx


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## natasha0483

Hi Hoping, all good thanks. Serum were excellent from start to finish - I really can't praise them enough (and I'd say the same even if it had been a negative cycle). I think I read in your first post that your husband has sperm issues, and Serum sorted this problem for us (my husband's sperm count and DNA fragmentation are now normal following Penny's 'sperm-improving' protocol). Has your husband had a DNA test done?
I was there 11 days in total (I think that's a bit longer than most, though - my follicles took a day or so longer than average to be ready), which was fine - scans every morning until egg collection day, but apart from that we were free all day. My little boy (aged 3) loved being away and wasn't aware that it was anything other than a holiday. It must get pretty hot in summer but there are nearby beaches and islands, so it's easy to get out of the city. 
Let me know if you have any other questions... xx


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## HopingAndPraying

Natasha that's great you have nothing but good things to say about serum. 

Penny helped my husbands DNA frag and count a few years ago with antibiotics and vits  and we conceived naturally after this , I couldnt believe it , we recently tried the same protocol again but not had any luck this time. 

How many times were you out in Greece in total? Sorry for all the questions and finally do they have sane protocols as uk ie long and short? 

Thanks again x


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## natasha0483

Hi Hoping, I went out twice - once on my own for a weekend for a consultation with Penny and an aquascan. Booked 2 nights in case I needed a hysteroscopy after the aquascan but didn't need one in the end. Then the main 11-day trip. If on the short protocol like me ladies generally go out on day 6 of their cycle, but apparently some also get scanned in the uk and go a day or so later. I think they offer the same protocols as in uk clinics. By the way, a lady called Agate has put together a very detailed file on all aspects of cycling with Serum - if you google Agate's Serum file it should come up! X


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## hilly35

Natasha great news on your bfp. 
Hoping totally understand you not wanting to cycle at Argc again, it so difficult I believe in terms of the need to be available every day to go back in for tests/scans. But they do get amazing results. Hard choice. But serum sounds fab from what Natasha says and hope you are coming to a decision on next move. 
Abbey sorry can't help on the frosties either. I've never had any. But I would certainly give it a go if I did. They have to be really good quality to freeze and then again to defrost so reckon they are tough little fighters before they are even back in you. Good luck with what you decide. 
Afm day 6 of stimming. I had a scan on Friday which was a disaster with only 4 follies visible. I was so devastated. My amh has just dropped off a cliff since I had my son. I am feeling so very despondent for this cycle. Back in again tomorrow morning and already dreading it. But just need to soldier on  
Hope everyone else is well and things are going good for everyone xx


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## Crazy_frog

Hilly I hope the scan today was better news and follicles are growing nicely.


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## hilly35

HI Crazy. Thanks for thinking of me. Scan was much the same - there looks to be 6 follies now but I am feeling a bit more positive as I met a great nurse afterwards. She was just so upbeat and saying lining good, numbers are what you would expect them to be at your age (I hate that but its reality!) and to try and stay positive. She just gave me a little boost. No mention of IUI. She has asked me to come in for a scan again tomorrow as egg collection may be as early as Thursday or Friday as they are growing quicker than they thought. So back in at 830 tomorrow morning and see whats happening - nervous!!! 

Hope you and everyone else doing well xxx


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## Crazy_frog

6 is good, it does take just the one! I know it's hard but glad nurse helped. Fingers crossed for tomorrow, let us know when egg collection is. Take care, drink lots!! X


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## HopingAndPraying

Hi Hilly , great news about 6 follies and your feeling better, I often think with having a little less the quality may be preserved ? So pleased for you that EC may be near have absolutely everything crossed for you , good luck xxx

Natasha thank you again for sharing the serum info, was on email again to Katie today and they are so lovely aren't they , and so efficient , when I email argc I'm lucky to get a response a week later . 

I'm still undecided , I wish I had more confidence in my local clinic as it would be so much easier, all the juggling of work and childcare to get a flight somewhere makes things so much harder. AF arrived today which has made me feel a bit rubbish as since I had a natural BFP with DD I now carry this hope that it can happen again when I'm being silly as with low sperm again it's literally impossible . Anyway .......

Crazy hope the wait for AF is t dragging in and you are doing ok 

xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Hoping, it's not silly to wish for natural bfp, it's part of this journey where we all hope for miracles. (Maybe little silly for us as same sex couple!). Having faith in the clinic is main thing, we feel we lost that with our old clinic between last 2 cycles- that should have been a sign I think with hindsight. 
Just waiting on period, only time we ever do! Hopefully end of this week. Been donor shopping and waiting for "him" to arrive in next few days.


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## natasha0483

Hilly, 6 follicles sounds good - how did this morning's appointment go?

Hoping, it's a difficult decision. Going abroad felt really extreme to me at first but then I realised I could look on it as a holiday (rather than trying to fit in in around other commitments - initially I'd planned to work while there, which would have been stressful). I guess with either Serum or Argc you've got to travel, so it comes down to which clinic you have more confidence in.

Crazy, hope AF turns up soon!

Hi to everyone else. X


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## hilly35

Hi all.  Ec set for this Friday so last day of drugs tomorrow. So nervous but glad to be nearly there. Clinic have confirmed the chemical is ready for use so all systems go. Fingers crossed 

Hoping sorry to hear about af. Amazing how much it still crushes us.   sorry to hear of lack of faith in your local clinic but if you don't feel confident with them I definitely think you are right to look elsewhere. Hoping you get your head around next move x 

Crazy any sign of af? Xx 

Natasha hope you are feeling ok. 

Hi to everyone else xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Hilly, so close now. Everything crossed you get good quality on Friday, far more important than loads! Enjoy drug free day tomorrow. 
Natasha how you doing? When is/ was scan again....forgetful sorry!
We've had drama ordering aperm, the bank had new website and it has clitched somewhere. Always drama for us  hoping the witch shows over next few days, don't normally have any signs so that's the air of mystery. 
Hi to the lovely ladies, hope bumps and families are good. Just also to say, Caro if you're still reading- thinking of you lovely, hope you're ok x


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## Molly78

Hope you don't mind me joining. I think I m in a similar position to you hoping and praying. Just had failed frozen transfer after successful fresh and now face £5k to go through another fresh. I love the staff at my clinic and so grateful of them for my son (nhs funded cycle) however whilst their fresh success rates are good their fets aren't so good and if we're lucky enough to have some left and the fresh doesn't work I would like a good chance with a fet. Started looking into other options - feels a bit strange as in many ways had very positive experience with clinic but you have to invest wisely.

Good luck to all trying for a sibling


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## Crazy_frog

Hi Molly, sorry for your bfn it is hard. We have also changed and are waiting on the witch to start agin with a new clinic.  Good luck with your decisions.


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## natasha0483

Molly, sorry to hear about your last cycle. A change of clinic can turn things around - good luck.
Crazy, a last-minute drama is all you need! Is it sorted now? Are you happy with the donor (I don't know much about it but I guess there's a selection process involved)?
Afm I'm 6+1 and time is dragging! First scan not till a week on Friday, which feels like months away. Feeling tired but otherwise all good.
Hello to everyone else x


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## KLconfused

Hi every one .

Sorry I haven't kept up with all the newbies but good luck to you all. 
Hilly fingers crossed for Friday
Hoping - I had 2 cycles at the ARGC and lost faith in them. It was such a tough cycle as well I hated the second one especially as they dealt with my mc on the first cycle so badly. I was sure they would work for me but sadly not to be and it just wasn't possible to hand over the huge sums of money again and again when I had no faith it would work. going abroad also sounded a lot of hassle to me but lots of people do it and it sounds lovely and relatively stress free! If you have to travel anyway then you might as well get a cheaper clinic and some sun at the same time. I think once you have been to argc your immunes are fully checked and you know what treatment you need so you can get it much cheaper elsewhere. 
Natasha - good luck with your scan. waiting for that first scan is so tense. 

Crazy - hope you get things sorted and AF arrives soon. Its only ever late when were waiting for treatment isn't it. 

trin - how are you? you must be ready to pop nearly! July is SOOOO close. 

Caro - we miss you. I know its hard to come on here but please let us know how your doing. were all thinking of you and sending out virtual hugs. 

AFM all going well. mw visit yesterday and now waiting for 20 week scan. A bit nervous as ive decided no to carry on with intralipids and next infusion would be next week so worried im making wrong decision and something will go wrong. Off on holiday next week. Cant wait. Its a 4 night cruise and im so excited. I love cruises as I don't fly but I haven't done one since I had daughter but finally feel ready to have a go and I may even be brave and leave her in the kids club a bit! Also finally found the lovliest preschool for her and she starts in July. Im looking forward to a rest! Just now really wanting to start feeling baby move. Apparently it can be from 16 weeks with a second child. Im really hoping its soon.


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## Crazy_frog

Natasha it always seems to drag out, but it's not long really... Glad you're doing ok. 
Kl hope holiday is amazing and great news about pre school. Glad you're doing ok and feel relatively confidence in your decisions. 

Witch has arrived!! Start gonal tomorrow and scan Monday. All those feelings are present! Hoping sperm arrives next week with no bother or I'll be pretty loopy!!


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## HopingAndPraying

Crazy x you will soon be on your way x wooooo hoooo! So exciting and hope the new clinic is exactly what you need and this cycle brings you a lovely BFP! Good luck 

Natasha nearly there with scan hope this week goes in fast! 

Hilly good luck for EC x sending you lots of positive vibes 

Molly x sorry to read of your bfn ! It's hard to move from a clinic you are happy with that is comfortable for you but if you feel you will do better at another clinic then it may be a good move as if you are like me you don't want to waste time! X good luck 

KL thank you for your background with Argc ! I have the same fears as you as keep thinking well I had a fresh BFN followed by a M/c with a Fet! So what hope do I have 2 years later if they didn't work their magic before! After my fresh BFN I kept thinking the FET will surely work but here I am 25k lighter and sadly no success which is obviously us we must be a hard case which makes me think it's an underlying issue with embies even though they look good! 

Amazing news you are now pregnant x hope you are keeping well ! And if it gives you any comfort I stopped intralipids at 15 weeks with no issues ! Kept clexane to
32w! 

Thank you to everyone for your great advice ! So comforting talking to ladies going through this! Xxx


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## Molly78

Thanks for your responses and encouragement, we have an appointment at a different clinic in a few weeks...

Good luck with your cycles ladies xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Hilly I hope Ec was good today. Thinking of you. 
Thanks hoping, we are really hoping we've left the negatives behind.... We're all here to listen, this has been fabulous to us over last year+ for us. 
Latest drama is waiting on clinic to accept donor. Hopefully they'll get that sorted and we can relax, bit frustrating but currently not end of the world. Trying to keep perspective.


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## Crazy_frog

Hi stupid question of the day, I wondered if anyone could provide me basic info!! We've always used clomid at start of cycle, so first scan showed not a lot. This time we are straight in with gonal (from yesterday) on a dose a third higher than normal (150) but I wondered if anyone could tell me a rough idea of what they see at first scan, I know it's follies but how big are they generally? Roughly? It's like being completely new again!


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## natasha0483

Crazy - exciting that you're getting underway! Not sure re follies, I know they measure them but at scans I've tended to concentrate more on the number than the size.. Hope everything falls into place soon re donor.

Hilly how did EC go?

X


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## hilly35

Sorry for the radio silence. EC on Friday - only got 4 eggs so I knew at that stage I was out. Dont ask me why but I just knew that my chances were shot. I just didnt feel it this cycle at all. On saturday I got the call that there was zero fertilisation.   Been suprisingly ok. Shed my tears but I am determined not to chase the dream of no 2 and lose out on the joy of number 1. If I only have my son I have made my peace - well I think I have. Easy to say when I still have one more go - intend on cycling again late august early september. I have put myself on DHEA to see if I can improve things and will also maybe do some acupuncture again. 

Anyway down but not entirely out yet! Hope everyone else is well. Will catch up with personals later. Infertility blo*dy sucks sometimes.


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## Crazy_frog

Oh hilly I'm sorry to hear that. But great you're positive and have time to plan ahead. Yes it does suck! 
We had scan yoday, lots of follies all less than 8mm but they're pleased so far nothing has gone mental. Now we have time to chase the bank re sperm. That's frustrating us at the moment. Ah well, fun phone call at work tomorrow!! Scan again weds and waiting on blood results for dose tonight


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## ginakb

Hi I'm new on this thread hoping to get to know you all more  

My lb is almost ten months old and I keep thinking of number two. I'm breastfeeding and not gotten my period back yet. I want to keep feeding until we are ready to stop and not just for me to try for what might never be. Anyone cycled while still breastfeeding or without periods? 

We didn't get any frosties so it would be full cycle. We were unexplained infertility so the dream of a natural BFP is still there though I'm getting older!

Xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Hi ginakb, wel done with the breastfeeding, it's not always easy so huge congrats. Regarding bf and treatment I believe there are some diaries and maybe a ** group. We waited until our daughter was done, at 3, but think maybe we should have started earlier. Never mind, what's done is done. Good luck with your journey. 
How you doing hilly? Any plans yet. 
Scan today so fair number 8-12mm so re scan Friday. E2 doubled and they're happy ish, warning of freeze all. Sperm is somewhere in London but not yet received at clinic. Bit stressed but it'll be all right, hopefully! What's that verse about courage, patience and wisdom..... 
Hope everyone reading along is good, families, bumps and plans for the future xx


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## natasha0483

Crazy, sounds like it's all going ok so far.. How was the scan yesterday? And have they located the sperm? Keeping fingers crossed for you.

Hilly I'm so sorry to hear about your cycle. Great that you are managing to feel positive and not pin all your hopes on the last cycle. I looked into dhea for egg quality too, sounds like good stuff. I ended up taking coenzyme q10 though it's hideously expensive, plus inositol and melatonin (recommended by my clinic to boost egg quality). 

Gina, I don't have any experience with bf'ing while cycling, but good luck with your next move!

Trin, you must be nearly there! how are you doing?

Afm 7 week scan yesterday went well - everything looking ok. We had 3 embryos put back but it's just a singleton, which I was happy about (slightly anxious moment when the doc said 'oh hang on, I can see another one!' but false alarm.)

Hello to everyone I've missed.
Xx


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## Trin Trin

Morning ladies

It's so lovely to see this thread becoming busy with so many new lovely ladies I have been reading but taken a little step back. This is an amazing thread which has provided so much support to me during my 2 years on here. Wishing you all the luck with your journeys. Most of us have had huge lows, cycle after cycle but without the support it would have made it so much harder. At the sane time some of us have found that lucky egg whether it be donor egg or our own. I really hope everyone on here can also find that luck egg!! I say lucky because In really not sure if there is a magic formula anymore. I dunno.......

Natasha - great news re scan!! Yay!! You must be delighted. 

Crazy - looking out for how your scan went and how the follies are doing. Try not to worry about the sperm. It has to arrive on time!!

Caro - I still think about you....hope you're doing okay as you possibly can. 

Kl - Have a fabulous holiday. Half way mark coming up soon...exciting!!

AFM - I'm nearly 32 weeks!! Time is actually going quite fast now. Still haven't purchased anything. Scan in 27th to check the growth again as big baby. Iron levels are low so I'm on tablets. All is well.

Have a good weekend all xx


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## Crazy_frog

Ah Natasha that's great news about scan. Congratulations. Hope you're still well. 
Scans have been good, but bloods showed a rise in lh so bit of panic with our history. Scanned again today and tomorrow. Sadly haven't been able to swap shifts, in nights, so feeling pretty hideous. Fingers crossed all stays well and we are able to stim bit longer for egg collection. Extra dose cetrotide today and fingers crossed.


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## Carter4

Lovely to see an update from you Trin, 32 weeks wowzer. Be sure to let us know when your bundle of joy arrives. 

Crazy I'm cheering you on from the sidelines.

Sorry to any ladies having to endure the disappointment of a bfn.


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## Crazy_frog

Sorry Trin for missing your post the other day. Wow 32 weeks!! Time flown by, not long at all. Hope your ok. You are right aperm is safely arrived. 
After daily scans and bloods, one more tomorrow and then fingers and toes crossed it'll be egg collection weds. 5years exactly from our dd....same day too. Let's hope this is a sign. After the stress of a rising lh, an elevated e2, numbers are forgotten. We just hope this is gonna work. My work is being a challenge. Almost there now
Thanks Carter x


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## natasha0483

Great to hear your news Trin - hope the last couple of months are nice and easy for you!

Crazy, not long now.. Glad sperm's been sorted. Hang in there!

Xx


----------



## bubbabooboo85

Hi ladies.

Is it ok if I join you?  I just started down reg a few days ago for what will be my second cycle of IVF as I was extremely fortunate to fall pregnant on my first cycle with my darling baby boy.  This cycle is a little different for me as I will be egg sharing so will only get to keep half of my eggs and also I will have to down reg  for longer to time my cycle in with the lady I am sharing with.  I am very excited at the prospect of a sibling for my boy but I'm even more nervous than the first time round I think as I feel I couldn't possibly be lucky enough to fall pregnant two cycles in a row. 

I haven't had chance to read back to see what is happening with all you ladies yet but hopefully I will be able to figure it out as I go along  and I hope where ever you are it is all going well for you

Boo xx


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## Crazy_frog

Hi bubbabooboo, congrats on your son and I hope you're lucky again. My sil did egg share and had twins, first time so fingers crossed for you. How long will down reg be? 
Hey to everyone following along, hope all is good x

So egg collection weds. However it'll be freeze all, we wanted to understand why and be reassured, fortunately the clinic director herself took the time  to call us. Feeling more positive, but sad that once again we won't get to test. However it's better for all. Now just fingers crossed we are lucky enough this time to get eggs, fertilise and then be able to freeze. Quietly hoping.


----------



## bubbabooboo85

Thank you crazy frog. Oh that's lovely to hear about your sil, here's hoping i'll be as blessed   Down reg should be just under a month, I started on 18th May and baseline scan is booked for 14th June, o think I got off very lightly last time as got hardly any symptoms from the buserilin but this time i'm already feeling a little bloated, tired and have had a couple of headaches.

How exciting for your egg collection Wednesday, sorry to hear you'll have to wait longer to be able to have them transferred and test but I have everything crossed for you it'll be worth it x


----------



## natasha0483

Crazy - will be thinking of you today. Very best of luck X

Boo - welcome! Hope your cycle goes well.

Xx


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Just a quickie from me to say good luck for ec today crazy zx


----------



## Trin Trin

Good luck Crazy with EC today!!! Have I missed something why they will not be transferring but freezing? Sorry if I have, positve thoughts sending your way xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thank you ladies. Trin it's freeze all because of AMH, follicles and e2, wouldn't allow hcg trigger cos of risk of ohss and risks of burselin trigger are high. So 9 eggs collected, good sperm at defrost so fingers crossed the wombles get it together tonight.


----------



## bubbabooboo85

Great news Crazy 9 eggs is fantastic! I'll be keeping everything crossed for you that those lovely eggs and sperm get their groove on nicely tonight


----------



## HopingAndPraying

Crazy just popped on to say wooooooo hoooooo for EC ! great number of eggs and have everything crossed for fertilisation . 

Good luck for next few days xxx 

natasha excellent news regarding your scan ! 

Hi to all the other ladies xx 

Afm still in limbo about what clinic to go with while praying for another natural miracle but as the months go on the hope fades 😔 My DH is going for another SA next week but not feeling very confident! Another fresh round terrifies me not the actual cycle just the result as it would be my final final final attempt! 😰

Xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

5 little embies have done their thing!! Pleased first ever time without Icsi (offered as standard previously). Now we can see how they are tomorrow and Saturday. Everything remains crossed. 
Hoping it's hard, fingers crossed for you.


----------



## Angel_Delight

Hello everyone,

Sorry to butt in on this thread, but I am after a bit of advice.  I'm in my 2ww and struggling with my toddler.  She's pushing me as she knows I'm not allowed to run around after her!  I'm finding it quite stressful and I end up running around and picking her up anyway. I'm worried the stress is going to make a difference to this outcome.  Once we have an incident, she's fine and I calm down, so it's not constant but still, arrghh!  How are you all coping with your other children


----------



## Trin Trin

Great news Crazy!!!!! Fab number to be playing with!! Well done xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Cheers Trin, were pleased and remain hopeful that this will be the answer. The clinic believe in fet in a non medicated cycle and maybe they've a point with such high e2 levels. 
Hi angel, it's difficult as little ones seem to know when they can push those buttons. I guess stress to a degree is always part of conceiving a sibling, lots of ppl do without help. Maybe it's just a case of going with it and trying to keep as calm as you can. All the very best on your 2ww.


----------



## Angel_Delight

Thanks Crazy


----------



## bubbabooboo85

HopingAndPraying sorry to hear you're struggling with a decision, I really feel for you knowing that this would be your last cycle it must be such a difficult decision to face. Will be praying for another natural miracle for you my love. Good luck with SA and try to keep your chin up xx

Crazy congratulation on 5 lovely embies, do you know when you might be able to do the FET if everything stays well over the weekend?

Angel like Crazy says stress is bound to play a part with a little already but just try not to add extra stress on yourself by worrying about the existing stress, I know lifting should be avoided if possible but i'm sure the occasional lift of your little one won't do any harm and if it's attention she is craving perhaps try getting down to her lever to give cuddles or play games. Good luck for 2WW when do you test?

Hope everyone else is doing well


----------



## Angel_Delight

Thanks bubbaboo, test date on Tuesday.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Good luck for Tuesday Angel. 
4 good/ great grade embryos being frozen and one 6 cell (with few fragments) that's not as good going for day 5/6 for re assessment. Amazed, delighted and hopeful.


----------



## beckha

Hello guys. Can I join in? I have DD from first IVF cycle. Since had 2 cycles fail since sept. Waiting to start third cycle now. DD just turned 2!


----------



## Angel_Delight

Thanks Crazy and good luck.

Beckha, sounds like you're at a similar stage to me


----------



## bubbabooboo85

That sounds really encouraging Crazy, I'm so pleased for you. 

Angel good luck for Tuesday!

Welcome Beckha, sorry to hear about your failed cycles hopefully this will be the cycle that works for you. 

AFM 10 days into down reg and really suffering with headaches   any tips anyone has are greatfully received.


----------



## beckha

Yes bubba hopefully 3rd time lucky. I get migraines which worsen during DR but I'm still ok to take my meds then so that sorts them. Just lots of water really is all I can recommend. 

Angel - sorry to see you've had failed cycles too. Are you using same donor or a new one? I was hoping to donate to same lady as we were both successful, she contacted clinic last year to ask me if I'd share again. But now we are actually ready she's not got back to clinic when they've called.


----------



## Angel_Delight

Oh no bubba, I had terrible headaches at and after ET. Water and dark room with eye patches finally cleared mine after 3 days.

Beckha, we have a different donor. Unfortunaly our original one is trying for a family. I hope your lady contacts the clinic, how frustrating for you.


----------



## beckha

Ahhh that's a shame Angel. 

I was hoping she'd be super keen to share again for a genetic sibling. They've left messages and she's not returned their call. I know they'll of just asked her to call back and not told her what it's about but I always ring then back ASAP when they leave messages like that. They did same to me last year when she asked them to ask me. I'm wondering if maybe she's on holiday or something? It's a shame as I'd like to share to the same person again but hey ho.


----------



## natasha0483

Crazy, those are excellent numbers, so pleased for you. Have you got a date for the fet?

Hope everyone else is ok - been away this weekend and need to catch up!

Xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks Natasha and bubbabooboo, in the end all 5 fertilised turned out to be grade 1 on Friday, the slower one split just before they went to freeze and met the grade. Absolutely floored as never even got one frozen before. No date yet, need 2 periods before can start, so maybe July time? 
Welcome beckha, hope all goes well with your previous sharer. Fingers crossed for your next cycle. 
Angel I hope you're ok, very best of luck for tomorrow. 
Bubba hope you're ok with down reg and doing ok. 
Hope everyone is well xx


----------



## Angel_Delight

Yay, congratulations Crazy


----------



## Trin Trin

Excellent news Crazy!!!! X


----------



## natasha0483

Brilliant news Crazy! Do you know how many you'll transfer? Amazing to have some left over.

Natasha x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thank you all, we can't stop smiling!! We are thinking 2 hopefully. Have previously always had 2 day3, but I guess we'll see what clinic say as grade is so different this time. We have about ten days before a week away in Wales, fingers crossed for weather and then can start finding out about a fet....know nothing! Fortunately satellite clinic nurse is truly lovely and will take her time to explain to us. Anyone with advice or experience welcome. 
Angel, thinking of you today xx


----------



## HopingAndPraying

Crazy amazing news in your little embies! I'm thrilled to bits for you! Next stop FET how exciting! 

I have on,y had one frozen cycle and it was so much easier on the body , I didn't feel like I was having any treatment! I had a natural FET. 

No wonder you can't stop smiling! Well done! 

Xxx


----------



## Hope2005

HI everyone




I am new here to this forum. I had twins via IUI and now I want to try again, with one more baby to complete the family. 


Did anyone done IUI without medication?


regards


hope x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Hi hope, congratulations on your twins. no experience of Iui success in afraid, but I hope all goes well with your next treatment, when are you planning or having treatment?


----------



## KLconfused

Crazy - congrats on your embryos. They sound great. My daughter is from a FET. The cycle is much easier than a fresh and success rates some clinics are higher with FET than fresh so your in with a very good chance especially as you will have several to put back. I know the waiting is a killer but July isn't too far off especially with a holiday to look forward to. 
So glad this thread has got busy and you have good support

Trin - glad to hear your doing so well. Your so close now. I cant wait to hear your little girl has arrived safely. Have you decided on a name yet (I don't expect you to tell us)!

Hi to everyone else. when I started this thread dec 2013 I had no idea some of us would still be here now trying for baby 2 after all that time. Im really glad we have new members to help crazy through as loads of lucky people on this thread had their babies ages ago and me and trin and caro are still on the journey but not as active on this thread now. 

AFM im 19 weeks +4 now and had anomaly scan yesterday and all good. Were having a BOY so we will have one of each. Im beyond excited. I cant wait. Ive been feeling movement since 16 weeks but its now got more definite and I love it. Best feeling in the world is sitting quietly hoping to be punched or kicked! I feel like ive been trying so long for this baby I just want him here - but only when he's fully ready. Its true IVF seems like the longest pregnancy ever. This feels like 2.5 years so far! I still haven't told daughter and im really nervous about it. Maybe ill do it this week. eek. I have a threenager (three year old teenager) and im so hoping its true what they say that boys are easier than girls!


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thank you kl, was worried I'd end up on here as billy-no-mates. It's lovely all you ladies pop by though and have been cheerleaders all the way through. You're absolutely right, the clinic say higher success rates, we're hopeful it'll be less stress and chilled and holiday is almost here so we are gonna have fun. 
How exciting one of each!! I can't believe you're almost 20 weeks!! That's mad, hope your dd takes it well, I'm sure she'll be excited. Trin not long now for you either, hope you're taking it easy and not too uncomfortable in the warmer weather.  
Hello to everyone xx


----------



## KEH

Hello everyone

I hope you don't mind me introducing myself - we've a wonderful little daughter conceived via iui and are keen for a second longed for bundle of joy! My periods have only just returned and we weren't too sure whether to try naturally for a while or iui again. I'm breastfeeding my eleven month old twice a day as she's loads of allergies and is there any truth that it *can* be easier to conceive at this stage or second time round ?? Part of me doesn't want to start the stress of ttc again but we long to expand our little family... I wasn't sure whether here was the best place to post this!

Just been reading through everyone else's journeys and updates:

Angel: all the very best with the two week wait, gosh it must be tricky with a toddler and taking it easy too. Have you friends or family who could help a little at this time?

Crazy: that's great news about the embies, a flying start!

KL: congratulations! I loved being pregnant and all those gorgeous little kicks

Hope: look like we might be in the same situation- but I'm afraid I don't know the answer sorry, we had three iui attempts, given clomid on each

Hello to everyone else too 

Xx


----------



## beckha

KEH - it's been much tougher for us this time round. 2 failed cycles. We got our daughter first cycle first time round. Just gearing up for our 3rd cycle. 

Congrats crazy! 

KL congrats on the boy. I have a 2yo girl and she's very high maintenance. I'm told boys are easier? 

Sorry on my phone so just catching up on what I can see on this page. Will try and get on iPad later.

Had my egg share counselling, been fully accepted to share now so now we just wait. Lady I spoke to this morning thought I would be matched quickly as I'm under 30. Hope that's the case. My doctor has told me 3+ months!


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thank you ladies. 
Beckha, congrats on being accepted. I hope the wait isn't too long and you can start soon. 
Keh good luck with next part of journey, however that happens. 
Angel I hope you're ok.


----------



## Angel_Delight

Hello everyone,

Beckha, congratulations on being accepted.  It's great you're under 30, fingers crossed for you 

Hi Keh, good luck.  I can't really give any advice as I had early menopause so the only option for me was DE.

KL, that's great news, congratulations.

Hello Crazy, Hoping and Hope and everyone else.

AFM, unfortunately we were unsuccessful.  I did get a bfp but my numbers were very low.  They asked me to come back in a couple of days and although they had risen, they had only risen 30%.  I kept taking the medication and had another test after the weekend and the numbers hadn't moved.  They said it wasn't viable and told me to stop all the meds.  I had another test yesterday and the numbers had dropped completely.  So while I'm relieved it wasn't ectopic (which is what they were concerned about), I'm gutted.  I have to wait for my follow up and take it from there.


----------



## KEH

I'm ever so sorry Angel to hear that and it sounds like it's been a bit of a roller coaster of a few days with the bfp, low numbers and re-testing. How are you doing today?

Crazy frog- thank you for your kind wishes. I think we'll try naturally for a few months, hope for the very best before exploring assisted options again. We've moved since our previous treatment so I need to do a bit of research around good clinics. I also start a new job next week which is probably going to come with its own stresses so figured it might be a bit much starting that and possible fertility Treatment 

Beckha: all the very best with your third cycle and fingers crossed you get a swift match too. I'm trying not to get my hopes up it'll be easier this time, I think that's partly why it was tough last time as I'd wrongly taken for granted/assumed we'd get pregnant quite quickly, which made each month pretty hard when they rolled by without so much of a sniff of a Bfp 

Hello to everyone else too


----------



## Crazy_frog

Oh Angel I'm so sorry, it's cruel and miserable when it's not straight forward. Look after yourself, do you know when you're follow up will be? Are you taking time out or straight back on?
Keh I hope the new job is lovely and fingers crossed for that natural to just occur. There's load s of info on the boards so hopefully that'll help you, should you need it. 
We're just packing up and getting ready....so excited, fingers crossed for few dry days!! Hi to all reading x


----------



## Carter4

Hi Trin, I'm not sure if you are still reading, but just popping on to see how you are? You must be due anytime soon, that's if your LO hasn't already put in an appearance? x


----------



## Trin Trin

Hi everyone and lovely seeing so many new names on here!!

Hey Carter, I do still read to see how everyone is doing, so happy Crazy has some lovely new ladies to share her journey, plus I'm following Kl too I'm all good, I'm 35 weeks now....plodding along, planned c section hopefully for 12 July so less than 4 weeks to go How's you and the girls?? Twins must be over one now!!!!! Wow time flies!! I will definitely post an update when baby arrives xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Wow Trin, so close now!! Hope you're all nested and ready. 
We've follow up tomorrow for planning fet, hopefully next cycle. 
Hope everyone is ok.


----------



## Sasha1973

Just wanted to pop on and say I'm a thinking of you all

Trin I can't believe you're nearly there, times flown so quickly you must be so excited. Can't wait to hear your update. 

Kl a little boy that's amazing news I'm so pleased for you, after such hard journey you must be over the moon.

Crazy so pleased this cycle has gone well for you, keeping everything crossed for your FET I'll be checking back for news

Carter and Penelope hope your both well and enjoying your families

Love to everyone and all the new people on the thread that I haven't got to know. 

We're all doing well, twins are 6 months now and so beautiful and loved by their big brother, I'm only sorry they're missing out on knowing their grandad xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Wow Sasha already 6 months, that's so fast. Glad you're doing ok. Thanks for checking on us all. 
Trin you must be counting down!! Not long til lo arrives. 
Follow up was good, next cycle we will be natural fet! Excited and nervous still about it all. Fingers crossed we get good thaw etc and all goes well. Still using clexane and pred as we would have done on natural. 
Hope everyone is well, x


----------



## natasha0483

Hi just popping in to say hi - Crazy I think your fet is this month? You must be excited!

Trin hope your last couple of weeks go really well!

Afm I'm 13.5 weeks and all well. Already feel huge! Apart from tiredness the pregnancy's been fine so far, though I've caught my little boy's cold this weekend and wishing I could dose up on lemsip! 

Hi to everyone I've missed xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Hi Natasha, glad you've been good. I hope the cold passes quickly and you feel better again. 
Thanks for popping by, yes it'll be few weeks yet, but exciting. Follow up was positive and that is reassuring. Fingers crossed.


----------



## Carter4

Trin Trin any news for us 'oldies'? I've been on my hols, and come back looking for an update from you!

Hi to everyone else xxx


----------



## Trin Trin

Sorry ladies.......manic but memorable few days!!

Planned csection was scheduled for Thursday 14 July, but went into labour naturally Tuesday at 22:30.......anyway let me get to the main part of the story......had a csection and my baby girl Tallulah was born at 3:24am on 13 July weighing 7lb8oz.....she wasn't a big baby after all

I have no words to explain the love I feel 💞 Xx


----------



## Carter4

Awwwwww Trin my love, I am so so happy for you, and absolutely love the name. Congratulations hunni on your little bundle of joy, your determination paid off, you did it xxx


----------



## Trin Trin

Thanks Carter, yes my determination thankfully paid off I feel extremely lucky!! It hasn't been an easy journey but I'm so thankful I finally have the happy ever after Special thank you to you Carter for sticking around, supporting the original ladies of this thread until the utter end. Your support has been truly appreciated, valued and will never be forgotten xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Oh Trin that's brilliant news!! So pleased all went well, hope you're taking it easy and recovering well. Love the name.thats great weight though if not big. Let us know how it all goes xx


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Trin, massive congratulations lovely. I'm so happy for you. Xx


----------



## Sasha1973

Massive congratulations Trin that's excellent mews! Lovely name too xx


----------



## KLconfused

Trin that's such wonderful news. So excited for you and really hope you very quickly put the IF nightmare behind you. 
We had a success thread going at one time for all the other ladies from this thread that had their babies quickly. I think they didn't want to post too much on this thread incase it upset those of us still trying (not that it upset us). Ive been thinking about that thread recently and I cant wait to put a post on it. Your turn first if you have the time to find the thread!

Crazy - must be your turn. Your next cycle sounds so positive. My daughter is a FET and they are so much easier especially as you get to do a natural one. Ill be keeping an eye on the thread to see how you get on. 

I did msg Caro but I haven't heard anything. It must be so hard for her. If your reading Caro were all thinking of you. 

AFM im 26 weeks now. Time is dragging. I want to be 35 weeks at least. Im totally living on my nerves hoping nothing will go wrong. I have a stinking cold at the moment which has worried me but it seems to be going. Daughter is being a monster too sometimes. She starts nursery next Friday for 2 days a week and I cant wait! Its a lovely place attached to a wonderful school and i feel very comfortable with her going there and hopefully she will go to school there next year too. Its a relief to find a place we all love and feels safe so i can get some rest as my energy levels are low. My little boy is a real wiggler - he never seems to stop. Its lovely to feel him moving so much but im not sure how much he will sleep when he is here judging by his movements 

xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

I agree kl it's the "light at the end" ladies that have kept my sanity....just!! I love how you all pop along and understand this journey. It doesn't end completely, you understand, you remember and I certainly love the updates.
Caro in case you do read, you remain in my thoughts and I hope you have peace with whatever decision you made. 
Kl, each day is a bonus (as a nicu nurse I really mean it). Hope all is well and they aren't concerned medically about you both. Exciting for your daughter, ours starts school in September, seems so young but we feel happy with our decision for Steiner education being right for her. 
Scan is Thursday, day 8, then ov sticks til surge and maybe another scan Monday. Seems crazy and straightforward compared to fresh!! Here's hoping this will be our time. Lots of positivity from clinic so fingers crossed. 
Hey to the other lovely ladies at whatever point you're at. Xx


----------



## caro8500

Just popped on as had a feeling Trin was due sometime soon! Many congratulations Trin...I really am very happy for you. I hope you and your daughter are both doing well, it must be an amazing feeling to finally have got there (in amongst the tiredness )  

KL...wow 26 weeks (and a boy!) where has that time gone. Sounds like there's still some anxiety but hang on in there, you'll soon be on he home straight 
Thanks so much for the PM, I've only just seen it today

Crazy..Thanks for thinking of me. good luck for the FET, sounds like you've got some great ones on ice. 

Hi to Carter, Pen, Sasha and anyone everyone else 

Glad you have both found a school you are happy with. My DS has just finished his first year at school and it feels like he's grown up so much. He is very happy there and I love seeing him having fun with his friends but time just goes so quickly. I'd like to keep him this age forever


I've just had my review (been so busy I haven't had chance to fit it in and was in no hurry). Pretty much as expected. We could keep going and hope that we strike it lucky again but my eggs are 6 years older than when we were successful, so odds remain low. 

Had my gynecology appt last week too and discussed how I'm struggling to manage the pain month on month, they suggest trying the coil/pill but if no improvement its surgery again. She asked me how I felt about a hysterectomy!!  its something they would encourage me to consider depending on how things are looking.

Anyhow its strange how having a few months off gets you thinking again. How suddenly trying again doesn't seem like the worst idea in the world? how hope starts creeping in! So not made any firm decisions yet but we have been having some serious thought about DE. I have lots of questions though so might be picking some of your brains  

xx


----------



## its the hope that hurts

Hi
Can I join you but not sure if I am "eligible"?  I have an OE son, naturally conceived who's 5 and trying for a sibling.  I am matched for a DE cycle in Greece.  Donor started stimming on Saturday and I feel like I want to cancel because of lack of info (I have eye, hair colour, complexion, age, height, weight, blood type, level of ed and that's all).  
I already changed my mind about her then went back so feel like I am the worse patient ever.
I now have possible other donors but not confirmed at all, but if I cancel, not sure what to do, to say what do I need to pay?  I have a phone consult tomorrow. 

This would be quickest way and chance for my son and new baby! to be at school a year together.  When I cancelled before, I then felt bereft.  

Good things about the donor are, red hair (very hard to get, my son has red hair), my eye colour, my blood group.  6 inches taller than me, not great but ok.  My dh is fine with the donor, 

Any thoughts ladies.

xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Caro it's lovely to hear from you. Sorry pain is still a problem. It's hard when you start to question it all again and I hope you make a decision right for you and your family. Bet your looking forward to time with son over the summer. Always here to listen to whatever thoughts you have, although I'll be no help with questions!! X
Hi it's the hope, of course you're more than welcome to join along. Sorry to hear you're having some doubts, I am sure you're not the first one and other ladies on here have had some wobbles too. I hope the phone consult helps with your decision, it's tough having limited donor information. We've had donor sperm (f-f) couple and it's hard to "know", however sperm is much easier to get and there's more choice, so we know we're lucky. Let us know how you get on.


----------



## Carter4

Crazy good luck for your easy peasey upcoming cycle. Fx an easy peasey bfp comes your way! x

caro - It's good to hear from you. I wish you every success if you do decide to try again. Always here to answer any DE queries x

Hi it's the hope that hurts, welcome. Can only say trust your instinct, your niggle must be for a reason. Being a DE mummy myself, I was given roughly the same info about donor, so not sure what extra you are wishing for. Good luck and I hope your t/c consultation went okay? x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks Carter, hope it stays this way!! First scan was good, nurse happy triple lining there, folicle was 9mm, so rescan Monday. We've been suggested heavily one embryo, so will go with that this time. Got pred and clexane ready for after surge. All feels very odd, completely new so just going with it and trying not to over think. 
Hope everyone is ok and enjoying some sunshine. X


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Hi everyone,

Lovely to hear from you caro. Wishing you all the luck in the world whatever you decide to do. I'm sure the lovely ladies on here who have experience of DE will be able to answer any questions you have to help you make a decision. 

Kl, wow, where is the time going. It won't be long before you have your baby boy your arms. 

Crazy, good luck with this cycle. I think it helps reduce anxiety when the cycle is different as we don't have anything to compare it too and so you're not constantly thinking 'this didn't happen last time '....... If that makes sense

Hi to everyone else. Trin, hope you are all well. Carter, what are the twins up to now?

Xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks Penelope. Scan yesterday wasn't very clear. But big follicle. Opk this eve is positive, so everything crossed lining will be thick enough. Lining difficult to see yesterday but wasn't there. Oops did I say this was easy....ha!
Ah well nothing to gain by suboptimal transfer, so will go with flow and clinic advice. Come on lining do your stuff!!


----------



## Crazy_frog

Lining was thick enough, so we're all good to go. Just waiting for them to confirm time for transfer on Sunday. Fingers crossed.


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Yeay!!! Great news Crazy. Are you going with the one egg or two? Will be thinking of you on Sunday. Keep us posted.   

xxxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks Penelope. We're going with one, the clinic strongly suggested one this time. We've had not much luck before but they don't consider the previous cycles as "optimal" management and so have discounted lots of cycles. Hopefully it's right decision and to be honest, we would rather just one at a time for practical reasons and because of my job I'm slightly anxious about twin pregnancies. Hard decision as to be honest, we really just want it to work!! However clinic have been right so far, so we have faith and hope. 
Hopefully this won't turn into my womblings and anxiety during 2ww!! I'll try but not promises


----------



## KLconfused

Best of luck crazy. It does sound like you have a great chance so 1 sounds a great idea. 
Don't worry about going loopy in the 2ww. Weve all been there many times!


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks kl, hope you're doing ok. X


----------



## bumpylady

Hi all, I am back again.
I recently had another cycle using 2 frozen embryos. The cycle went really well, I got my BFP on 17th June and 4 days later had a full flow period bleed. My tests were still getting darker, clinic wouldn’t scan me any earlier that 7 weeks so my GP booked an early scan where 2 sacs were present, 1 empty and 1 with a yolk so they think the bleed was the empty one. I continued to bleed until my scan where the sac that had a yolk looked empty, the doctor said it looks like something had started to grow and then come away but they would repeat the scan a week later. A week later scan showed yolk, sac small metal pole and very slow heartbeat. They didn’t think the outcome would change but wanted to do another scan. Sadly on the sunday I passed the sac with the embryo in. 
I had my follow up yesterday and they said we can try again after 2 bleeds. They will give me aspirin this time but they just think it was one of those things. 
We are hoping to go again in October but I am feeling really nervous that the same will happen again.

Can anyone advise me of anything else I could take or try to help?


----------



## Crazy_frog

Oh bumpy, I'm sorry that your cycle was not the outcome we all so desperately want. I hope you're looking after yourself and taking it steady. I can't help with suggestions, but wishing you all the very best for the future


----------



## Crazy_frog

Oh my, what a day. So apparently there was a rather large cycling event today, which shut an awful lot of London....so we were lost and couldn't call clinic as we forgot the emergency number. Clinic phoned after 30 panic inducing minutes and suggested we jump on train and abandon car. Arrived an hour late, trying to reduce blood pressure and find the giggle in it.....kind of. Transfer was smooth, embryo was good and defrosted just one, leaving us 4 more. Glad to be home and settling down now, dd hyper after day with grandparents. Everything crossed, otd is 11/8 for bloods, 13/8 for hpt. Come on little womble stick, we've had the drama, may the next bit be plain sailing. 
Hi to everyone reading x


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Oh my gosh crazy!! It's got to work.....wouldn't that be a great story to tell them when they grow up!! Got everything crossed for you xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Lol that's what embryologist said as well Penelope!! Fingers crossed.


----------



## Trin Trin

What a carry on Crazy!!!! Well I'll be thinking of you between now and OTD!! I have everything possibly I can cross for you 🙏🙏 xx


----------



## KLconfused

crazy - best of luck. Will be thinking of you on the 11th. There's no adrenalin rush quite like a cycle of IVF!


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks Trin and kl, we are just gonna hope. Taking it easier, but carrying on with life. It doesn't feel as pressurised as normal, knowing there are Frosties still there, hoping this is the magic.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Slowly going crazy.... Bloods booked for Friday, not 11/8 due to working. Trying not to think ahead, remaining hopeful and not symptom spotting (well too much). Just want to know!!
Hope everyone is ok.


----------



## KLconfused

Crazy have you got any inkling if it's worked? Are you going to poas Thursday or wait for Friday.  I think it all sounds very positive and I'm very hopeful.


----------



## Crazy_frog

I guess the honest answer is we don't know. This being first time without trigger feels very different, the early (right after Ec) sickness, even sore boobs aren't present. We will know If spotting doesn't start over coming days. In negatives cycles, we haven't got to test date. It's such an odd time, the first week you're in the bubble, it's safe to dream and everything is positive. Then the second half is knicker watch, boob poking and examination of everything. 
Fingers and toes crossed!!


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Are you going to poas tomorrow/Thursday crazy? Wishing you all the luck in the world if you do and for your bloods fri xx


----------



## Cookie987

Hello all, 


I'm looking for a bit of advice/reassurance.


I'm currently 5 weeks 4 days pregnant with my second child, and I'm driving myself mad with symptom spotting. With my first pregnancy the sickness came on before OTD and didn't let up for weeks, I was also exhausted and had dizzy spells, and the pregnancy test said 3+ quite early.
This time around I'm really not feeling much of anything other than 1 or 2 cramps and a little tired, no sickness yet. The pregnancy test was quite weak for some time and I've also had some brown spotting. My early scan is 2 weeks away and I'm worried that It's going to be bad news. 


Anyone had varying symptoms in each pregnancy?


Thanks 
Xxx


----------



## Trin Trin

Hi Cookie, congratulations!! With all my pregnancies I don't feel any different until 6 weeks. 

Crazy, hope you're not going too crazy! Thinking of you and so hope this cycle is the ONE🙏 Good luck for tomorrow or if you cave in and test early xx


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Wishing you all the luck in world for today crazy. 

Trin, how are you and the little one? 

Kl, hope all is well with you? Not long now to go xx

Hi to everyone else xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Cookie things can be different between pregnancies, I hope everything settles down and time passes quick to scan. 

So we peed on a stick! It's positive!! Strong line on fr and 2-3 weeks on CB digi. Excited for beta. Slight concern over next bit.... Thank you ladies for your support and good wishes. Been up since 5 and just starting to sink in.


----------



## Carter4

Whahooooo, been watching from the sidelines.......know the next bit is equally as scary, but you're over the first hurdle, excellent news and congratulations crazy xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks Carter, I meant to say I'm really sorry if I caused any upset about twins to anyone. It's just my job makes me scared, I see so many multiples- mainly triplets/ quads so very early. I've been thinking that I probably didn't explain clearly and I should apologise for any upset I might have caused. [edited to add- think the emotions of it all are making me very crazy!!] Clearly all we ever want is happy and healthy babies. 
Hoping for a good strong beta later. 
Hope everyone is good and kl can't be long to go now, hope you're taking it easy.


----------



## Carter4

Must have missed the post you are on about, but don't fret either way, reckon as you say those hormones are kicking in already!!! Willing you on to to a lovely high beta, and your take home baby. I'll keep checking back for your updates x


----------



## Trin Trin

Wooooooooohoooooooo!!!! Fab news Crazy!! So pleased for you!!

Yes the next hurdle is just as hard, but as Carter says you got past the first hurdle of this journey. I don't think anyone took offence to your post re multiples. We're all aware of the potential risks involved when transferring more than one embryo.

Anyway, I have a big smile on my face

Pene all is going well with my little lady. She's quite demanding, trying to get her into one of her own beds!!!! Up every 2 hours at night but all good fun. Hope all is well with you too. Are you stil thinking of trying again?

Kl - how's u?


----------



## KLconfused

crazy - that's fantastic news. so pleased for you. The next bit is hard but much nicer than a BFN. 
I didn't take offence to anything about twins. You obviously have the experience of seeing it when it goes wrong and that's bound to affect your choices. As trin said we all know what were doing when we choose 1 or 2 at ET. 

Thanks for asking after me ladies. 29+5 at the moment. Time is going very slowly. I have just sorted through some things for baby from daughter like the moses basket etc. May even buy a few boy clothes in the next week or so. Still very nervous but said I would relax when I got to 30 weeks so I will try. Feeling huge and uncomfortable and tired all the time. Still love being pregnant though and still want to do it again (which I hate myself for). I just wish it was October. I'm on hourly watch for any preeclampsia signs and that's exhausting. Just want to get to 36 weeks now. Daughter started nursery 3 weeks ago and had a bad few days leaving her which was hard but she seems to be enjoying it again now and I certainly need the rest. Makes me feel so old that I'm struggling with a lively toddler and a bump. Everyone else seems to glide through it. 

trin - glad your doing well. Daughter sounds like she loves cuddles. Cant blame her for that! 

hi to everyone else.


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Oh Crazy I am so so pleased for you!!!! Woohhooo!! Here's hoping for great beta results later on today. 

Im with the rest of the ladies, your post regarding twins/multiples didnt offend me at all. 

Trin, glad your little lady is doing well. My second little boy didnt sleep in his own bed until he was 3 months old as was always in with me. Poor hubby was sent to the spare room!!! Yes we are still thinking of trying again. We've got an appointemnt with the clinic in Oct just to discuss plans and dates etc. 

KL, It is hard leaving them for the first time but it helps when you can see they are enjoying it and it will give you the time to rest that you need and when your little man arrives you can have some time to bond. Hoping the next stage goes really quickly for you and can understand your anxieties about preeclampsia. I know what you mean about wanting another and hating yourself for it. I really wish I didnt have this uncontroable urge to have more but I cant fight it!!!

Hi Carter, lovely to hear from you. How are your lovely family? 

xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks so much everyone for your support. Beta is 341, 12dp3dt. Clinic pleased, scan planned for 5/9. Fingers crossed for next bit. Glad no offence taken,


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Great news on beta results crazy. Wishing you a speedy few weeks until scan date xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Must step away from Google. Have never had a beta, well except when it went wrong last year and it was 15. Must also stop buying preg tests to watch the line, but that's how we saw it coming last year. Clinic have said they'll repeat hcg next week, just for our reassurance, hope it does help to reduce stress but ultimately it's all about that first cuddle and until that it is just milestones. But we'll happily take each and everyone. 
Penelope I hope all goes well with clinic for you. I'm sure we'll all be hoping for you just as you have for so many of us. 
Trin, I hope you little lady is getting used to sleeping, our dd was a pickle for sleeping for years....hence the long gap between even restating this journey. I hope you are sleeping as much as you can, but it's tough. 
Kl hope all remains good. Over 30 weeks is excellent so hoping you can relax a tiny bit even with your symptom watching. Look after yourself especially if your Lo is at nursery for a bit. 
Carter I hope you and family are well and enjoying some sunshine. 
Caro I hope your doing ok, how are you doing at the moment?
Sorry if I've forgotten anyone or anything!


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Just checking in to see if you had your hcg repeated this week crazy? Hope all is still well xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks for remembering Penelope, number was 9277, which seems good and clinic pleased with. Now in next bit of wait for scan. 
Hope everyone's ok x


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

That's great crazy. Going the next couple of weeks whiz by for you. Will keep an eye out for your next post. 

Hi to everyone else. Hope you are all ok xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Clinic couldn't really advise where number should be but seemed pleased, extensive googling seems to show that's ok number. So fingers and toes crossed for Monday, come on little womble!!
Hope everyone is good, strange it's all so quiet here, but hope no one minds if I continue waffling on here. Don't feel ready for anywhere else.


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Crazy, is your scan next mon? That's come around quick! I know it probably doesn't feel like that for you though!!! I love the name you've given your embryo/baby!!! We had a bert and then fraggle. 

I know it's not really my place to say as I'm a bit of a hanger on with this thread but can't see why anyone would have a problem with you staying around. It's so lovely to see everyone get their much deserved bfps and then take home baby/babies. 

Xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thank you Penelope. That's so sweet, not a hanger on at all, you're a cheerleader and proof of the possible. 
I meant if all stays quiet and I end up wittering to myself on here!! I'm trying to be good and not post irrational waffle, but all sorts goes through your head!! We've named each embryo along the way, this group were known as wombles, certainly our experience with be over ground for transfer made it even more appropriate. 
Yes scan will be 7 weeks (& few days) on Monday. It does seem quick, but it will be after c's first day at school so that's probably why....gonna be a crazy sort of day.


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Ah yes, sorry, I think I misread your post!!! OOOPS!! 

Yes, that's one busy day you've got on Monday and an emotional one!!! 

xxx


----------



## Sasha1973

Crazy I just wanted to hop on and say a massive congratulations, I'm so very pleased for you. Sounds like you've had some excellent HCG numbers too. Looking forward to hearing about your scan on Monday xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Yup Monday is gonna be pretty crazy, hoping it'll take out mind off it all! Well maybe a bit!! Think misreading happens, a lot of I'm a tired! 
Thanks Sasha, hope you're all doing well.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Tomorrow afternoon cannot come quick enough. Last day or two seems to have gone backwards. Everything crossed for 2pm tomorrow. 
Hope everyone ok.


----------



## Angel_Delight

Hello, just a quicky from me to say congrats Crazy and good luck for your scan


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks angel, how are you doing? Hope you're well, are you planning to cycle again? All the very best with whatever you are doing x


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Good luck for your scan and lo going to school tomorrow crazy . Thinking of you xx


----------



## Carter4

Crazy - Sending you so much luck for your scan tomorrow. Hope your LO has a fab first day at school too x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thank you ladies for all your support. C's first day was good, it was only few hrs and we stayed with her. Weds will be big test, when we leave (more for us I feel than her!!). 
Scan was good, little womble with good heart beat. Consultant pleased and stopped clexane, but happy to suggested baby aspirin if we were anxious. 
Glad that's all done, hoping next few weeks pass quickly and we get nhs scan soon, might get private one before if the wait is too long.


----------



## Angel_Delight

Yeah, that's great news Crazy, congratulations.

Thanks for asking about me too.  I've been keeping a low profile on here as I found I was spending far too much time   I have just cycled and got a BFP, awaiting the viability scan now which is end of next week.

Hello to everyone else


----------



## Sasha1973

Crazy that's excellent news, you must be so pleased, congratulations to you and your dp. 

Angel delight that's fab news, fingers crossed for your scan next week. 

Hi to everyone else ,xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Angel that's wonderful news!! So pleased for you and everything crossed for scan. Let us know how it goes. 
Thanks Sasha xx


----------



## Carter4

Whoop whoop Crazy wonderful news, so pleased for you x

Congratulations on your   Angel x


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Woooo hooooo crazy!!! Great news!!! 

Congratulations Angel 

Wishing you both happy and healthy pregnancies xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thank you Carter and Penelope. One bit down, next to go....just breaking it down in to steps at moment and trying not to over think!! (Kinda!)
Hope you're all doing good x


----------



## Trin Trin

Woooohooooo!!! Fab news Crazy! Sooooo pleased for you all. Lovely news to log on and see!! X


----------



## KLconfused

crazy - woohoo so pleased for you. Such an exciting and scary time but this cycle has just seemed great from the start. Lots of positive vibes. whens your next scan?

AFM 33+5 and days are going sooooooooo slow. Just got told i have gestational diabetes. Ive been very upset about that. Monitoring for a few days now and no clue really what im doing but am hoping it can be diet controlled. My stupid body - -i wish it could do something normal! Oct 17th so far is date for csection but that may change. Still on the look out for preeclampsia signs but so far all OK.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks Trin, kl and everyone who I might have missed!! Appreciate your support. 
Kl don't be so hard on yourself lovely. It is easy to blame yourself for everything, but some times it's nothing that can be prevented or changed. Almost 34 weeks!! Wow! I know last bit drags but it won't be long till little one arrives. Keep close eye on symptoms and so on, but be kind to yourself. Keep taking care of yourself, hope you feel ok. Xx


----------



## Angel_Delight

Hello everyone, thank you for you good wishes.  

KL, I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with my dd and felt the same.  They gave me a week to try foods and record my sugar levels and then see them to review.  At the review they said I will not be able to control it through diet alone! I said, you told me to experiment, give me more time! They did and I soon got it under control. It was pretty easy in the end. Once I had my dd, I was actually thinner than I was before I got pregnant - happy days  I am sure you will be fine as long as you are strict with what you eat. If you need any advice, feel free to pm me.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Angel delight, just to say thinking of you. Hope scan goes ok, can't remember if you mentioned which day (sorry if I'm late). 
Hope everyone's ok. 
Decided to try and book scan for next week....going even more looney that usual. Trying to be patient and one day at a time and all that....but gosh it's hard. Booking appointment next Friday.


----------



## Angel_Delight

Hi crazy,

Thanks for remembering  my scan was yesterday, it showed a good heatbeat and everything on track  I'm going to register it all with the nhs next week. 

Good luck with scan. I hate all this waiting!


----------



## Crazy_frog

So pleased to hear that Angel!! Hope all goes well with next bit of wait, worse than2ww!!
We've caves and booked scan for Thursday and midwife Friday. 
Hope everyone well x


----------



## Angel_Delight

Good luck for tomorrow Crazy x


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Yes, good luck from me too crazy xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thank you ladies. Scan today was good, all looking good. Midwife tomorrow and then hoping for smelt date soon!!
Hope you're ok angel delight and good luck Penelope for next bit (must be soon you're at the clinic?)


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Great news crazy!!! Is it starting to sink in or are you still on tenterhooks? 

We've got a month to go to our appointment, thank you for remembering. 

Out of curiosity, has anyone watched the Alex Jones documentary on Tuesday "fertility and me"? My hobby recitded it for me but I've put off watching it's the overview I read cane across as quite negative and I don't need any more negative statistics!!!

Xx


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Oh my gosh....just spotted all my typos!!! It should read my Hubby recorded!!!!


----------



## Crazy_frog

I didn't watch it, I get a bit (maybe a lot) ragey about these "celebs" with fertility difficulties who "need" IVF and then fall pregnant whilst talking to people who actually do need it. Ok I'll shhh now!
Yeah it starting to feel real, a home Doppler might be helping!! We officially told our dd yesterday and she's not that fussed. Upset we saw the fertility nurse without her, but we explained she helps get eggs ready not the baby and she seems content with that. Fingers crossed we don't get same midwife as last time, she was vile and I will request not to have her!!
Penelope I hope all goes well, I did chuckle at your hobby....
Hope everyone's ok.


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Oh me too crazy. She did this documentary and the found out she was pregnant at the end of filming, that's part of the reason I wasn't sure about watching it but hubby thought he was helping by recording it for me.

How old is your little one? I'm sure as time goes he/she will start showing an interest. Especially as your tummy grows!!!


----------



## Crazy_frog

Bless that was sweet of him to help. 
She's 4, 5 in Feb so just started school too, lot to take in her stride right now. She's more excited by a big sister t-shirt (it has penguins on it). Officially animal mad, would prefer it if mummy "borned" a kitten actually....midwife was different (thankfully) but we've 2 hospitals in area, we are choosing one I work at. Because of pet last time, gonna be consultant led so just waiting to hear when appointment will be. Midwife couldn't get bloods, veins worse then ever, so going to phlebotomy service next week.


----------



## KLconfused

Crazy and angel congrats on your news. So excited for you both. It was a slow burner with my daughter too but now she is so excited so I'm sure it will be for yours too. I Did get my daughter a big sister tshirt but she doesn't like it! 

My news is that baby boy arrived Wednesday! He was 35+3 weighing 7lb3. Normal labour but forceps delivery then big bleed again from placenta. He has been in nicu but now it's just feeding to sort as my milk hasn't come through yet. I'm a bit shocked as I wasn't expecting him early but with the gd and obstatric cholestssis the last 2 weeks maybe he thought he should vacate. He is adorable.  I love him already. Lots of feelings about donor side but not sure what they are yet if that makes sense. Really trying to enjoy him as my last baby. Hubby over the moon and says he feels a huge sense of relief. We both really miss baby as he's in nicu and we want him with us all the time. But hopefully it won't be long. Daughter is soo excited. She's hyper everytime she comes to visit and she's been talking about him to everyone at preschool. My parents are worn out having had her a few days and are wandering how I will cope with 2! I can't wait to find out. Happy days


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Oh wow kl!!! Wasn't expecting to read that!!!! Congratulations!!! That's s good weight for 4 and a bit weeks early so he was obviously ready to meet you. And you got your natural delivery too. I'm so pleased for you and your family. Hope he can come home soon so you can all enjoy cuddles!!! Xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Kl congratulations to you and your family. I hope you are all doing ok. I hope you've had lots of cuddles and skin to skin. Not uncommon with stress for milk to be delayed, it's still early and your body just needs to get with it. Lots of fluids, food and rest. (Flapjacks are great because of oats....just saying!). Hopefully his sugars have been good and feeding is just practice, hopefully you can be together (maybe transitional care if they have one soon). Don't be afraid to ask questions of staff and remind them about cuddles. No reason babies can have skin to skin regardless of other care. You know where I am if you've more specific questions. All the very best for the next bit, it is hard. Lots of love xx


----------



## Angel_Delight

Yay, congrats KL. Hope you get him home soon.  Your feelings on the donor side will come, mine took a long time to figure out  it will all be fine. Keep us posted on how you're getting on x


----------



## Trin Trin

Omg!!!!

Thought I'd check how Crazy is getting on and I nearly spat my herbal tea out reading Kl's post. Glad to hear all is going well Crazy. How many weeks are you now??

Kl!!!!!!! CONGRATULATION!!!! I so wasn't expecting to see this post from you yet. I was going to check up on you to see how you're doing. You must be so happy he is safely here with you all. Great weight too being this early. I have tears of joy in my eyes as what a journey you have had during the last 3 years. Pleased for all of you, your hubby and daughter, amazing need to read this evening xx


----------



## Carter4

Wow wow wow, congratulations KL on the birth of your son. What a brilliant birth weight too. You must be beyond ecstatic, so so pleased for you x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Kl I know you're insanely busy right now, but I'm hoping that's with good things like your little man feeding all day and night and being caught up in the baby bubble. Remember to be kind to yourself, no matter the journey everyone get blips/ worries and niggles. I'm hoping little man's stay on nicu ended quick and you're home (or preparing for home) soon. 
Cheers Trin for thinking of us, you must be busy with your little one. Hope you guys are all right too. 11 weeks tomorrow, still anxious but to be expected. Doppler helps for reassurance, but just waiting on scan appt and consultant appt whenever they may arrive!!
Angel I hope you're still doing ok too and everyone else hi. X


----------



## Angel_Delight

Hey Crazy. I'm doing fine thanks, scan on Friday. Was driving myself mad, thinking the worst last week and getting very anxious but feel a little better as we approach the scan date. 11weeks, that's great. I'd forgotten how stressful all the waiting is and even more so now with a very active toddler  

Hello everyone ekes x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Good luck tomorrow Angel, I hope everything is lovely. 
Still waiting on maternity notes, midwife said it was ready but then when I went to get it today it wasn't there. When I called receptionist this evening she says the midwife isn't sure where they are. Really reassuring!! Ah well it's not like we need them at the moment as still waiting on scan appointment. 
Hope everyone else is ok


----------



## Angel_Delight

Thanks Crazy, yes all looked good, thank goodness!  Hope you get your notes soon. My booking appointment is end of next week. Very tired today so struggling to write anything  hope everyone is well x


----------



## KLconfused

Hi all, thanks for your kind messages. Me and my little boy came home after 6 days in hospital. Its wonderful to be a family of 4. Were all totally smitten. I had the natural birth i wanted (but with forceps) which is good and im expressing milk to feed in a bottle. I will try to switch over to bf soon but im clueless and its something im a bit anxious about but am getting help. I have had a tearful couple of days as im just so in love with my boy that im scared something will go wrong. I also feel the last 3 years has just hit me and im very traumatized by it all. I just cant believe all we have been through to get here and that i finally have my family. Im also accepting that im rubbish at feeling ill and im very sore and anaemic which im not handling well. It seems as though ive been feeling ill or not myself for about 3 years and ive had enough now.  Also my pelvic floor seems shot to pieces so i guess you have to be careful what you wish for when you ask for a natural birth! TMI sorry. 


Little man is wonderful though and worth everything we went through. I will always want more children but with the liver problem i had i wont risk another. The chances of an early preemie are too high and i just feel too old to go through all that stress again. Also my family couldnt cope with it. My relationship with my daughter has changed so much since her brother arrived and i miss our times together. I dont think i could recapture that closeness with 3 children but i hope i can with 2. So i guess im over and out now and i can enjoy my family and try to have some normality in life again. 


I will keep checking up on you all as i want to hear crazy and angels great news when they have their completed family. 


Thanks everyone for all your support over the last 3 years. Its been hellish and i wouldnt have got through it without the friends ive made on FF.


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Awwww kl, I filled up reading your post. I'm so glad you're home with your little man. I think it's totally understandable that you've been emotional this last week given the journey you've had and don't forget the 5 day baby blues will have kicked in too!!! The soreness will subside but it is draining. Hoping you start to feel better soon. 

Wishing every happiness in your new family of four. Xxxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Congrats angel. I hope all goes well with next bit of wait!! It's never ending. 
Kl I'm so glad you're all home and life is adjusting. Well done on expressing, it's hard work and I'm glad you're getting support. Sorry it's all hit you now, combined with blues and not being 100% yet it's hard. Just take it easy and look after yourself. Well done on the natural birth. Will be nice to see you popping up as you can and be great to hear how little man gets on. Agree with Penelope a lovely post, so heartfelt. Xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Hope everything settling and your feeling brighter this week kl. 
Angel I hope all is good still for you. 
Penelope, not sure if you said when appt is, but all the best for it. 
Trin, Carter and sahsa hope families are well and all is good
Caro, hope you're ok too, have you made any decisions about future- i hope you're ok if you're still reading along. 
Finally we have the book and scan is next weds, will be stealth visit to hospital where I work- avoiding everyone and praying we are not caught. Don't feel ready to tell work just yet, few people know who have been kind over the journey and the rest will find out eventually.


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Crazy,?i was only thinking of you this morning and wondering when the scan was. Great news. Good luck and hope you can get in and out unnoticed!! 

My appt is a week today! I booked it so long ago and now it's finally come around I'm feeling a tad anxious!!! 

Hi to everyone else. Hope you are all ok xxxx


----------



## Angel_Delight

Hey Crazy, good luck with your appointments. Hope you get sorted undetected!

Penelope, hope your scan goes well next week.

KL, I read a post you wrote on another forum. Hope all is good with you and you are managing some sleep 

I'm ok thanks Crazy.  I had my booking appointment today and have a private scan end of next week. Can't believe the nhs are not doing a scan until I'm almost 13 weeks! They've not even tested hcg levels.

Hello everyone else.


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Crazy, is your scan tomorrow? If so, good luck xx


----------



## Angel_Delight

Good luck Crazy


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thanks for remembering, scan today was all good thankfully. Got in and out without being spotted, I think....stealth mission from staff car park in lift to right floor. Think mission impossible! 
Anyway somewhere along the lines, the referral was to fetal medicine unit not regular scanning, so saw the loveliest senior consultant who did an impressively speedy but thorough scan of bubs- but downside was one not so amazing picture (not the point I know, but still...). Well IVF dates make us 12+6, however bubs is a Viking and measures 13+4!! However they don't change dates (sadly! One week less). They've sorted consultant appointment for middle Nov, 20 week scan for end of Nov and then will have further scans at 28&36 weeks. So just waiting on result of combined screening, trying not to stress the nt measurement until bloods back, fingers crossed not having a phone call in next few days. Might of had an accident and booked a sneaky "gender" scan to fill gap and we would like to know again this time round, also hoping that we can take dd to see once wellbeing bit is (fingers crossed) all ok. 
Penelope, good luck for appointment Friday, I'm working and dippy so might forget. Everything crossed for next bit. 
Angel I hope you're still doing well and not too long for your scan. 
Hello to everyone xx


----------



## gwinethblack

Hi all! I am new here, might as well introduce myself in this thread too. I am Gwyneth, this is going to be my 3 rd try for this time on donors’ eggs and sperm. Will be heading to the clinic this month already for the initial, hope they say that I will be fine with ivf, because I do not want to use sorrugacy. Well, just yet.. 
If someone is like me, I would be glad to have a chat. Going to another country makes me really nervous thought..


----------



## Angel_Delight

Lol Crazy, glad it went well and nobody saw you 

Good luck Penelope.

Welcome Gwyneth.  What country are you going to?  I went to Prague with success, they were really good and nothing to worry about. 

I had a scan today.  Pleased it was booked in as I had a tiny bit of spotting this morning. All was fine.  Good heartbeat. Slightly smaller than average but in the range.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Penelope hope appointment was ok. 
Gwenyth welcome, good luck with treatment. Hope all goes smoothly. 
Well I've given up hiding it, telling the work world!! Just too excited now. Screening came back low risk so that's great news. 
Hope everyone is alright.


----------



## Sasha1973

Omg just logged on after weeks away to see you news KL so very pleased for you and your little boy, massive congratulations, you must be so chuffed!

Crazy can't wait to hear what gender you're having, so pleased for you that everything's going well. Thank you for asking, we're all good here (busy all the time but in a good way!) girls are 10 months now and Martha's just been diagnosed with spina bifida but she's a fighter and will overcome whatever she/we need to. 

Love to everyone else xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Hi Sasha, glad they're doing well. Has it taken a while for Martha's diagnosis? Early pick up will ensure you guys get the extra input which will help her. I'm guessing it's a small(er) defect, is there plan for any surgery? I hope you are all getting support. Take care and let us know how you get on. X glad that she's a fighter, that's key thing!


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Hi all, 

Crazy, broadcast it to the world!!! You deserve it. Glad you are getting excited. The IF journey can make us so anxious and can have a huge impact on how much we allow ourselves to enjoy pregnancy. Will you find out the gender in a few weeks? 

Sasha, lovely to hear from you. I'm glad that you are all well. I'm sorry to hear about Martha's diagnosis but as crazy said, it's great they've got it early and you can get the input you need. 

Angel how are you? Glad your scan went well. 

Our appointment went well. Gave us green light to go ahead when we feel ready. She didn't want to check my amh again as o had done last nov (initially I was relieved about that but now I'm stressing it's dropped in the last year and would rather get this checked!) . Hubby wants to save a bit more so we can pay for a two cycle package so we'll be hanging on until the new year to see how we're looking financially then


----------



## Sasha1973

Penelope very exciting you're going to try again, wishing you all the luck in the world. 

Crazy she was born with a sacral dimple which alerted them to the fact that something was there, she's had an ultrasound and then an MRI and her spinal cord grew through a hole and is tethered to a lump of fatty tissue just above her bottom. There's potentially an operation she can have but she has to be at least 18-24 months before they'll consider it, bless her xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Yay Penelope green light, all systems go!! Good luck with the saving for treatment, 2 cycles sounds very sensible and we all know someone whose postmans, sisters, next door neighbour's gnome (or some such ridiculous tale) bought a multi cycle and would you believe it worked first go!! Fingers crossed for you. 
Sounds like you're all getting excellent care Sasha, scans and early detection is critical and then for surgery it's all about size for the procedure. I hope she's getting early involvement with team and you feel supported, especially over coming months. Just remember the "disadvantage" of being a twin, is the whole range of "normal" which can show up at the same time. try not to fret too much, easier said I know. X
Yes we have a private scan in 2 weeks, so c can come too, this will be a gender scan so yup we are  all about knowing!!


----------



## KLconfused

Penelope - yay for green light. I think AMH does go down but not that much over such a short time so best save that money and put it in the pot! Really hope you get your new baby in 2017. 


Sasha - sorry to hear about Marthas diagnosis. I wont pretend I understand whats wrong but it sounds like your getting all the right medical care and have it all under control. Fingers crossed for the best outcome. 


Crazy - whats your due date? So excited for you. 


AFM my little boy is 5 weeks now and wonderful. Daughter has been poorly for 10 days so, along with a newborn, I'm missing sleep. Wouldnt change it for the world. I feel euphoric I'm finally done. Couldn't be happier and the relief is tangible. The whole family is just so happy and content. Our little boy has completed our family and I'm ready to start living again. Ive even booked into slimming world. Going to lose all this IVF/pregnancy weight and get back to being me. xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Kl so pleased that even sleep deprived, you're so happy and content. Hope dd gets over bug soon and good luck with slimming world. Keep us updated with all your progress. 
Due date is 20/4, 2years from loss and my birthday. All bit odd really but as bub was 6 days ahead at scan it could be earlier yet. Hoping preeclampsia stays away but at least this being monitored. Gender scan week on Saturday and can't wait to see little one, don't care about which it is....(have very odd worries cos of my job I think!) mantra is most babies are fine and never see nicu.... And repeat!!
Hope everyone is good xx


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Kl, I'm so so glad you are happy and content.  Must be such a lovely feeling after all you've been through. Can't believe your little man is already 5 weeks old!!! Hope little girl gets better soon . 

Crazy, not long to go until gender scan. Bet you can't wait to introduce your little one to their baby brother or sister!!! Look forward to hearing how the scan goes. 

Hi to everyone else. 

Xx


----------



## Sasha1973

Klconfused you sound in such a wonderful place with your little family, so pleased to hear it after everything you've been through. I felt the same as you and ironically joined SlimmingWorld in may and have managed to shift 2 stone 1 pound and be 8 pounds from my target now, I've gained a whole new load of friends too. It'd be lovely to hear from you again xxx

Crazy so excited for your gender scan, I'll be checking back for updates xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

So gender scan today. It's a boy, dd is delighted and very pleased as she decided in last week that is exactly what she'd like!! Phew. Amusing moment when walked into clinic, registered and had a form to sign- she appeared to think that piece of paper said boy or girl! She was amazed by the scan, saw some little wiggles, so "toe bones" and had a 3d glimpse- wow has that changed in 5 years!! So very clear and this was the newest ones where they're pink not orangey/ gold colour. Got a loyalty discount, so rude not to use it.....
Hope everyone is ok, enjoying lovely weekend and fireworks if little ones are not scared by them.


----------



## Sasha1973

Oh that's lovely news Crazy, massive congratulations on your little boy, very excited for you Xx


----------



## Carter4

Fab news Crazy, you must be well chuffed.......now to get your thinking caps on for the all important boy's name x


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Woo hoo great news crazy!!! Bet it was lovely to see him again too xx


----------



## Angel_Delight

Congratulations Crazy, exciting


----------



## Trin Trin

Hi everyone

Crazy so pleased to read how well your pregnancy is going, and I see you're expecting a boy.....team blue💙 One of each like Klconfused, so thrilled for you. I agree that the scans are so much more advanced now, it's amazing what you can see. 

All is good at my end, little one is teething now already. She's 4 months next week...time really flies. 

Take care everyone xx

Ps can you believe it's Christmas next month already!!!


----------



## Crazy_frog

Thank you all,  very exciting times ahead. Christmas is too close, not ready at all!! Too many December birthdays ahhhh!! Well I'll just have to get it together and get on. 
Can't believe your little one is 4 months Trin, Christmas will be lovely. Good luck with the teethin! How is your older dd doing?
Angel, I hope you are ok, how many weeks now?
Penelope only few months, are you doing ok? Vitamin-ed, weird health sups and high protein diet yet..... ok maybe just vits? 
Carter we bizarrely have a boys name sorted, it was girls that's was tricky. Name is a family name on both sides, so easy luckily. Hope you are slightly more organised for Christmas than me! Gonna be crazy in your house!!
Sasha, fingers crossed its not that different....hope you're also organised and preparing for massive fun. 
Kl I hope you're still doing alright and just busy with the lovelyness of family life. Sorry if I missed anyone.


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Crazy, how are you? Hope you are keeping well? Sorry, I missed the last few lists and have only just come on a noticed them now!!! I'm just starting thinking of vitamins at the moment.....will wait til after Christmas to get my diet sorted!!! Had a few manic weeks recently as school  applications to sort and my little boy has been undergoing a few tests so I've been a bit stressed. 

Can't believe Christmas is only 5 weeks away!!! I'm giddy with excitement already!!! So much shopping to do but looking diehard to the festive season!! 

Hi to everyone, hope you are all well?

Kl, how is your little man?

Trin trin, hope dd is over the teething for now. 

Carter, how are you and your family?

Sasha, hoping all is well with you and your brood? 

Sorry if I've missed anyone. 

Xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Oh Penelope hope all goes well with your son and school application. Hope tests are sorted soon and all goes well. Definitely enjoy Christmas first!!
We seen consultant and they've planned growth scans at 28,32 and 36 weeks. Not long til anomaly scan now, exciting but nerve wracking too!! Not ready at all still for Christmas but will have to get on with it!!
Hope everyone else is ok and but more organised. X


----------



## Dolphins

Hi,

Can I join you lovely ladies,  and it is good to know that I recognise some of you.  

I have just started my 7th cycle of treatment today, after feeling quite low and scared at the weekend about doing it all over again! It's a year since my last cycle, as I have had quite a bad year, but now ready to recommence treatment again. 

We are doing PGS (Pre Genetic Screening) now, this is where they test your embryos for chromosomal abnormalities, with only the normal looking embryos going through to get transferred, which is a big risk in itself, as we may not get any to transfer.  It is also more money then an average IVF/ICSI cycle, but I so desperately want another baby, so I am willing to go to another level reg. treatment.

"The very best of luck with all of your cycles."   

Speak to you soon.

xxx


----------



## KLconfused

Dolphins I remember you from this thread a while back. It's been going a long time! Sorry to hear you've had a difficult year but well done on finding the strength to try again. Good luck.

Crazy - little boys are fab! So pleased it's all going so well. What a wonderful Xmas it will be for you all this year.

Sasha well done on the weightloss. That's amazing. Sadly I was told by my gp not to start slimming world until baby is 6 months. I'm still anaemic and she said after all I'd been through I should just enjoy him for a while first. So March it is. In the meantime I seem to have decided to eat so much junk food Ill have even more weight to loose by then! 
How is your little girl Martha doing?

Penelope how have the tests gone for your son?

Trin- teething already. Time does fly.

Carter how are you and your girls?

Afm. I'm still in a very happy place. We all are. Little man is growing huge. If he had gone full term he would have been around 9lb6 and that's what we were expecting. He only sleeps on me which I'm finding very frustrating during the day as I can't get anything done. Nights aren't great either but at least I'm upstairs so not looking at all the jobs that need doing ☺
I do still have some bladder problems and I'm expecting to be referred for them. Also worrying about my son as he hasn't hit some of the 2 month milestones yet of eye contact and smiling but I have to treat him as 4 weeks old not 2 months. I also find all the conversations about who he looks like a bit uncomfortable as I don't think he looks like any of us and I do wander if the donors would have a natural bond with him if they met him. Weird I know. I'm so glad I have him and I wouldn't change him for anything. I'm loving all the baby cuddles and really enjoying being a family of 4. It really is as good as I'd hoped.

Im doing school applications too for my daughter. What a big decision that is.

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## Dolphins

Hi,

Thank you for your lovely message KLconfused.   

I am on day 4 of stimmimng today, and feeling "damn right awful!" I have had to cancel some commitments this week because of how I feel.  I am on the max. that I can be of Menopur (450 iui), but I feel really sick, headachy, and now feel quite bloated.

I hate having to cancel commitments, as I let other people down, as well as myself, but then again, it's not my fault that I'm unwell. "Don't I hate treatment! But if that's only the way to have children, then I have no choice! Like us all on here!"

Going for my first scan of my treatment on Saturday, as well as signing any necessary consent forms. So a big day on Saturday really!  Just hope that it goes well!  

Good luck everyone!

xx


----------



## danielle1370

Hi ladies, hope you don't mind me joining you were here! We have just turned three-year-old and have just came off the pill this month,  Feel so scared and anxious about trying again and the rollercoaster we have just got ourselves on! don't think I could cope with the loss and heartache of what happened in the past all over again but feel desperate for a second baby. Although we won't be going  through any IVF I am just hoping to get some support through the dreaded two week wait and any twists and turns my silly body decides to throw at us this time whilst tryig! it didn't seem right posting on the other board as it seems a lot of people on there are trying for their first.

Hopefully I can get to grips with all of your stories and we you are all up to soon! would be great  to chat with you ladies so that I don't go demented lol


----------



## Dolphins

Welcome danielle1370.  

Well! I have had my first monitoring scan of this cycle today, and I have got 3 nicely sized follies on one side, and 4 on the other.  The maximum size is 12mm so far, but I've got a few at 11mm, and as we all/most of us know they need to get to 17mm, before egg collection. Therefore, I've got another scan scheduled for Tuesday morning at 11 a.m. so I am hoping that by then, they'll be knocking on the door to being 17mm.  

I added Cetrotide to the list of meds. that I've got to take yesterday, but there are no changes that I have got to make in terms of my meds. until Tues. the day of my next scan.

Anyway, speak to you all soon.

xx


----------



## tryingagainandagain

hi ladies, i think i need to chat in here! after 3 years of failed ivfs i was blessed with twins, they are now almost 3 and we have one ice baby left. once youve been through what we've been through, its hard to ever think of letting ice man go. so, decided to do a fet, however cycle was cancelled as my body fought the drugs and ovulated anyway!! So now our choice is to go with a long protocall, which we all know sucks to heck, or natural which i just dont trust my body after years of failure. 
I feel selfish for wanting to see the wee man through, our lives are complete, and actually our plan is to adopt in future, you know give some love back )
Anyway may be cycling soon, just wanted to say all this out loud. gl to those cycling. ive been trying to get crazy healthy and doped up with vits for the last 4 months, tough around the holidays though xxx

shooting star, you could do it and not tell them, think the issue is the hormone that bf produces which conflicts with pregnancy. this is why i stopped bf my two in prep for my fet.


----------



## Crazy_frog

Dolphins, lovely to hear from you and good luck with this cycle- sounds good so far. Hope you son is doing ok and rest of year is better for you.
Kl, good luck with school applications for your daughter, it's hard work!! Try not to fret about your little man, he will get there in his own time and worrying won't do him any good (easier said than done I know). Glad all is lovely at home for your family.
Welcome along Danielle and riverdeep, wishing you lots of luck. There's great support on here. 
Hey to all the lovely ladies on here. 
Scan this week on weds, fingers crossed that's ok.


----------



## danielle1370

Dolphins sounds like things are heading in the right direction, hope they keep growing!!


Crazy frog good luck with your scan this week!

I'm already driving myself insane, promised myself I wouldn't but I've bought ovulations tests and I'm up to day 16 with no positive result as yet. It's such a double edged sword as it's nice to live in ignorant bliss pretending we had a chance and waiting until OTD but also with a three year old in tow having sex just ain't as easy as it used to be is it lol so in some ways I'd rather know but then now I'm already getting that sinking feeling about things going the way they have in the past! It's only our first month but secretly had in the back of my mind that my body might miraculously produce an egg and fall pregnant first time round....was never going to happen grrrr!!!


----------



## Crazy_frog

Hi all,
Scan was good, only thing they noticed was 2 vessel cord which can lead to growth restriction. We are already booked for serial growth scans so they will look for 2 reasons now. But worried when they first said but nothing we can do about it. Just a shame to have something to worry about I guess!
Hope everyone is well and keeping warm x


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Hi to all the newbies on here, wishing you every success in your journey which ever route you are taking to get there! 

Crazy, glad scan went well apart from identifiying that issue, however its good that they are monitoring it. How are you feeling? Hope you are well? 

KLconfused, how are you? Have you submitted your school application yet? I've just done mine after agonising over it for ages. Still not 100% happy with it but I cant do anymore. 

Thank you for asking after my little one and his tests. The bloods have come back normal which is a huge relief to us. Just waiting for an appointment for an MRI and he is also due to undergo surgery on his testicles in two weeks which I am dreading!!  

So, I need to offload a little (hope no-one minds, its just been bugging me the last few days and want to share it with like minded people who understand). So, we've all had those conversations with people about IF and there's always someone who drops a clanger of a comment or comes out with something totally insensitive isn't there??!! Most of the time I'm able to laugh and shrug these things off but I think as this one came from family it just really irritated and upset me......So, I was having lunch with my MIL and SIL and they were talking about a friend of the family who had just announced they were 5 1/2 weeks pregnant after their first IVF. She has no issues but it was hubby's slow moving sperm that was causing problems. So my sister in law turned to me and said ''it was pretty much like your situation, there's no reason why she couldn't get pregnant but it just wasn't happening and they knew as soon as they had IVF they would get pregnant''. She seems to have forgotten that I had to have my tubes removed after two rounds of investigative surgery and that I also have a massive hydrosalpinx!!! I know I'm totally overreacting and lots of people have it far far worse than we have our journey was by no means an easy one her total lack of understanding of what we went through, even though she was told, just really upset me. Anyway, rant over!!!!I think I'm going to write a book one day with all the silly comments people have made over the years!!!

Happy Christmas everyone!!! 

xxxxx


----------



## Dolphins

Hi,

I had my 2nd monitoring scan on Tuesday that's just gone, and my follies were measuring nicely! The biggest were 20mm and there was one at 16mm, and one at 15mm, and so therefore, they have told me that I am ready for EC on Friday (tomorrow), and therefore have taken my trigger shot yesterday, and it mean's that I am free of injections today "YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!"   

However, it's a very early morning for us tomorrow, as we after drop our son off at his gran's for about 6.30 a.m. and then travel the 1.5/2 hr journey (at that time) to Manchester, as we after be there for 8.30 a.m. with my EC being scheduled for 9.30 a.m. so wish us luck.     

Anyway! Watched Panorama the other night, about the add ons that they add onto the ivf/icsi cycles, but saying that out of 27 add ons, only 1 has some evidence that it increases your chances of having a live birth.  This somewhat, dipped my confidence in the all process of having PGS, but having had a discussion with my fertility Dr. about this, he has convinced me to carry on with it, as if we don't go ahead with it, I will always be saying to myself, that we should have given PGS a go, and thus given my OE one last chance, so we are going to persevere with it, it might of course, be another huge amount of money wasted, but you'll never know, unless you give it a go. My motto is: "you'll after be in it to win it!"

Anyway! I will try and do some catch ups with you all later, as there are quite a few of us now.

Speak to you all later. 

xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Very quickly to say good luck dolphins today x


----------



## Dolphins

Thank you for wishing me luck today Crazy Frog.  

Well ladies!

I have had my Egg Collection, and I am pleased to say that I got 5 eggs today.  Not as many as I thought that I might get, so initially a bit disappointed,  and it's the least number of eggs that I have got, but beggers can't be choosers, and as I know from experience now, it's the quality of the eggs, rather than the quantity that's the key, and it does "only take one!"  

Anyway! I am trying to rest up this evening, as I am feeling quite uncomfortable, and have been bleeding from the procedure.  But the procedure went smoothly, it was just the 2.5 hr wait for the results after the procedure, which was the really nerve wrecking bit.

Talk to you all later.

xxx


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Great news dolphins. Good luck for the phone call in the morning x


----------



## Dolphins

Thanks Penelope Pitstop.  

We got the phone call this morning to say that out of 5 eggs that we got yesterday, 3 have fertilised, which is still good news.  They are going to phone us again tomorrow morning to let us know how the embryos are dividing.

Ok, so it's not all 5 that's fertilised, but it's better then o, better then 1, and better then 2.  So there is still hope. 

Bye for now.

xxx


----------



## Dolphins

Hi all,

My 3 embies are still going strong, and are currently still dividing, and are between 9-10 cells.   However, it is still too early to know if any are going to get to the biopsy stage for PGS, but we will just after wait and see. They are going to phone again tomorrow, but in the afternoon, instead of the morning.

I'll keep you updated.  

xx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Great news Dolphins, glad they're all still going strong. Fingers crossed for next bit. Hope you're feeling ok now, when would transfer be? I don't know how long Pgs takes, will it be fresh or frozen? Don't worry too much 
Penelope, people say stupid stuff all the time to us!! Some days it makes me laugh and other times it blooming hurts! Keep smiling, I guess they don't mean harm and sometimes they just don't engage their brains. Hope you're doing ok now. 
Hey to all the other ladies following along. X


----------



## Dolphins

Hi all,

Well we might be having embryo transfer today after all, as they are not sure that the best embryo is good enough to biopsy, which if they did, and it was a good embryo, the success rate for someone my age would be as much as 54%, but if we after have a transfer my chances of success drop down to 11-12% again,  so not good news, if we after go for transfer.

The embrylogist is going to wait until lunch time to see if our best embryo (out of 2 now) gets to the biopised stage, but if it doesn't then we'll be asked to do a transfer this afternoon, as they have provisionally put us down for a 2.30 p.m. transfer.

So we are hoping that it doesn't come to that really!  

Wish us luck!

xxx


----------



## Dolphins

Hi,

We decided not to go to transfer today, as if our best embryo look's better by tomorrow, then they will do a biopsy, and if not, and it arrests (disintegrates) tomorrow, then we did the right thing in not putting it back.  However, if they are still unsure about it tomorrow, then I may still have a transfer.

To be honest, if I was on my 1st/2nd cycle of treatment, I probably would have had it put back in today, but it isn't, I am on my 7th cycle, with  a miscarriage, 1 baby, and several failed cycles, so I have totally experienced grief, and heartbreak, and every cycle that doesn't work 'screws' me up, so I think that we made the right decision today, and pretty confident of that! If it save's me heartache in the long run.  

And we'll see where tomorrow morning's (9.00 a.m.) phone call will take us.   They have provisionally booked us in for transfer at 2 p.m. tomorrow just in case.

Bye for now.  

xxx


----------



## Dolphins

Thanks for wishing me well ladies, but the cycle is over for me.   And I am absolutely devastated.   

We had the phone call this morning, and overnight both embryos had degenerated, so we made the right decision not to transfer yesterday, but now we've got no embryos to biopsy. Zero!!!!!!!!!

From 5 eggs to 3 embryos to 2 embryos to 0.

This was my 7th cycle, and we paid for a multicycle package, so we have still got another cycle to try, but at the mo. I don't know what to do.

My dream of having a "very much, wanted, and longed for sibling for my child! Is getting further, and further away!" There is nothing else left to say, maybe I was destined to only get to 29 wks.   

xxx


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Oh dolphins I don't know what to say you poor thing. Thinking of you xx


----------



## Angel_Delight

Dolphins, I'm so sorry to read your news.  This journey is so cruel at times.  x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Dolphins sorry to hear your news. I hope you are doing ok and taking it easy. Everything crossed for your next cycle. X


----------



## Dolphins

Hi all,

I am "still" suffering physically over 1 week from coming off the meds. as I am in a lot of abdo. pain, and constantly feel sick.  My AF has arrived now, but I know that it's got nothing to do with that, as every time I do treatment, it flares my IBS up.  I have never felt like this physically, 1 week after coming off the meds.

I am supposed to be going out tonight, to honour my Dad (who we lost this year), as it would have been his birthday next week, but instead, we are celebrating the first birthday without him.  It's a drinks night out with various members of the family, and I know that I'll be disappointed if I don't go, but to be honest, I don't feel well at all, and I'm in a lot of pain.  I have been to my GP's, and have spoken to the clinic, but they can't recommend anything other than painkillers, which I can't take because of my IBS, rest, and to drink more fluids.

But I haven't been able to go to my voluntary work for the last few weeks because of it either.  And to top it off, a friend of mine, who has also had IVF has just told me that there are pregnant with their 2nd child, and it was natural, so talk about kicking you when you are down.  She wasn't even sure that she wanted another child. So talk about feeling really envious of other people, and feeling "angry" with the world in general.

I am utterly sick of feeling like s**t, for something that doesn't seem to be working for me!     But what do you do if you really want another child?

Bye for now.

xxx


----------



## Crazy_frog

Dolphins sorry to hear you're feeling so rubbish, it must be difficult to not feel up to family event this evening. Sometimes you have to do what feels right at the time, if you're better off resting and looking after yourself then do so. 
At times life just isn't blooming fair, it is hard to hear of those success stories and not feel something about it. Especially with timing and this cycle not going as planned. I think you have to let all those feelings come, before starting again wth a positive outlook. Along the way of all of this, there are knocks and it sucks. But hopefully in the not too distant future it'll be you, it's the bizarre hand of chance from the lottery I'm sure.... Chin up love. 
Hello to all the other ladies x


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Hi!

How is everyone. Hope you all had a good Christmas and new year?  Crazy, when are you due now? 

Hi to everyone else.
Xx


----------



## Dolphins

Hi everyone,

I had my review from my 7th cycle of IVF/ICSI cycle that didn't even get to transfer just over a week ago now, and feeling "devastated" is an understatement!

He basically told me, at the age of nearly 42 that I have a really, really slim chance of having a successful cycle with my OE but still can try 1 more time if I wanted to still try using my OE, as I paid for a multi-cycle, or we can end now trying to use my OE, and think about Donor.  The Dr. has basically said that we have got zero chance.

I after be honest and say, that I am finding all of this hard to digest at the mo. but at least I have got 1 genetic child of my own from a 3rd cycle of IVF/ICSI treatment.

If there has been anyone else who is reading this, and who have gone through the same, how did you get your head around needing a donor? And did you tell anyone, close family and friends, that you needed a donor? Thank you.

xxxx


----------



## Trin Trin

Hi everyone and let's hope 2017 is a good year to those who are trying for another!!

Pene, hope all is well with your boys and plans for number 3 are going okay.

Crazy, how's the pregnancy going and when are you due. Surely not too long to go now

Dolphins, so sorry that hear about your last cycle. Most of us know too well how devastating failed cycles can be. Not sure who still reads this thread from the 'old gang' but Carter and Kl have both had success with DE first time. They may be able to give you constructive advice. I was going to consider DE if my last cycle was not a success. I conceived with my own eggs at nearly 41. I have always had to use doner sperm to due male fertility. Without it I wouldn't be a Mum and my husband would never have been a Dad, so it never has been an obstacle for us. Must admit he would have found it difficult if we had to used double donors both egg and sperm. I really wish you luck with whatever path you decide to take.

AFM little one is 6.5 months already. Time really does fly and they grow up so quickly!!


----------



## Trin Trin

Oh close friends and family know about our donor situation!!


----------



## Penelope Pitstop

Dolphins, I'm so sorry to hear that your follow up consultation didn't go very well. As trim said kl and carter ace experience of using donor eggs so it may be worth sending them a pm to get some advice or hear their experiences. Thinking of you.

Trin, wow, can't believe your little girl is already 6.5 months!! Where does the time go?!??

As for us, we've had to delay treatment as one of our rental houses was vacant so we had to pay both mortgages 🙁. We are still hoping to go later in the year but  going to have my AMH repeated as my last one was over a year ago and I'm that much older now I'm really worried my fertility will have declined too much for it to work. 

Hi to everyone else xx


----------



## Carter4

Hi All  

Crazy - How is it going? We need an update from you lady. Hope all is well x

Penelope - What a pain having to pay two mortgages. Hope you get some tenants in soon, so you can get going on your cycle and fx your amh doesn't misbehave! x

Trin - It's always lovely to hear from you. Begs belief that your youngest little lady is half a year old already, then again my twinnies aren't far off 2, yikes. Oh and they have both decided to enter the terrible twos early!!! Lucky us   x

Dolphins - DE recipient here, so if I can be of any assistance, please feel free to fire away. With regards to your two questions. Getting my head around the DE element was very difficult, but the way I dealt with it, was to be kind to myself, and by that I mean, instead of analysing things to death, I went against my usual thought patterns and basically buried my head in the sand. Occasionally the reality crept through, but I didn't embrace it, and this is what worked for me. Basically the desire for a sibling for DD1, cancelled all else out. I have no regrets whatsoever, and can't imagine our life without our additional beautiful little ladies........We also chose not to tell anyone x

Big wave to anyone else still reading x


----------



## Crazy_frog

Hey, sorry for silence it's been crazy!!
I can't believe how much everyone's grown up!! Trin almost 7 months!! Carter 2 years, wow. I'm pretty sure they were newborns when I joined the thread!! 
Dolphins I'm sorry your review was hard, we had some shocker reviews over the last two years, I know well how difficult some conversations could be! We also used donor sperm, however as a female-female couple I think that's no shock!! We keep donor info to ourselves, he is not "dad" and anyone saying so gets  a short and to the point answer!! Parents are not the genetics. 
Penelope sorry to hear of delay, but great you've plan for later in the year, wishing you all the very best of luck. 
So, 29 weeks but little man has been causing us worry!! So 20 week scan showed a two vessel cord- associated (maybe) with smaller babies, meant they'd rescan for growth. However due to previous pet they'd already planned repeat growth scans at 28,32, 36 weeks. So bump measuring ahead and some glucose or ketones present in urine at midwife, so got glucose tolerance test planned for tomorrow. Growth scan this week showed a large baby, so they think now gestational diabetes likely. It's been worry about pet, diabetes and baby's growth....all a bit crazy!! Never mind, what will be will be and we continue to just hope all goes well. Combined with promoting dd out of "nursery" and her adjusting to school it's been tough and so busy. 
Hope everyone is well, can't believe it's feb already!!


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## Penelope Pitstop

Crazy, lovely to hear from you. Can't believe you're 30 weeks now!!! How did the tests go for gestational diabetes? I'm sorry to hear you've had a fair few stresses over the last few months. Hoping the next  bit is plain  sailing. Bet you can't wait to meet the little man!!! 

Carter, I'm amazed the girls are almost two and throwing tantrums already!! It seems like only the other day you were announcing their arrival!! 

Dolphins, hope you're ok?

Hi to anyone else reading  xx


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## Crazy_frog

Cheers Penelope, test was a big fat yes for gestational diabetes. Seeing whole team next week and to get more info about plan, seems to mean definitely not getting to term but maybe 38. Just trying to get a bit more organised....kind of!
Hope everyone well x


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## KLconfused

Hi everyone
Crazy - i had GD diagnosed at 33 weeks. It was diet controlled and really not a problem so hopefully yours will be too. Every thing went back to normal after the pregnancy too. So excited for you. 


Pen - sorry you had to delay treatment. its horrid when you have treatment hanging over your head. I dont read too much into AMH. I had my daughter with an AMH of 2 and loads of cycles failed when i had an AMH of 17. So just plug on as soon as you can and see what happens. You have a great chance. 


Trin - wow your little girl is growing so fast. How are you getting on with weaning? Im dreading it!


dolphins - donor is hard. i did the same as carter and buried my head. I couldnt settle with just one child and i couldnt cope mentally or financially with more IVF so i didnt have much choice and just ploughed on. Once baby gets here it doesnt matter. We wanted our daughter to go to a private school and it became a choice of IVF or her education (local state school is in special measures). Now both kids can go private as DE worked first time. I still believe i have a good egg in there now but i just didnt have the strength to keep searching for it. 


AFM my boy is nealry 5 months now and he is lovely. The HV panicked me about development as he was a bit behind due to being premature but he is fine now. He doesnt look anything like any of us and im gutted about that.But he is wonderful and so cute and i feel the same love for him as i feel for my oe/os daughter. we only told 2 close friends who both have DE children. We havent told any family. Its hard to field all the questions about who baby looks like but those comments are slowing down now. I have 5 embryos and would love to use them but i cant go through another pregnancy after the liver issues i had. Id love a surrogate but hate myself for even thinking about it. All the girl toys/clothes have been sold and things are going as baby boy grows out of them so im faking it til i make it and accept 2 kids and im done. thankfully now i have a boy and girl no one asks if i want another. I have been suffering PNA and PND. Im not having treatment but hope it passes soon. It has put a bit of  a downer on things and i struggle to recognise myself. Im certainly not the person i was before IVF, Hopefully i will become her again one day. 


Lovely to see all your updates x


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## Crazy_frog

Thanks kl that's reassuring to hear. I'm now on metformin for sugars as can't get fasting low enough but day time is good with diet. 
Sorry you've had hard time, it's tricky to accept sometimes. I hope you find your old self soon x


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## Penelope Pitstop

Kl, how nice to hear from you. So glad that your little man is ok after the HV scared you. We're having similar issues at the moment with our 2nd little boy as they say he's delayed in his development so totally understand what you've been through. I'm sorry to hear you are suffering with Pna and Pnd, I hope you start to feel more like you again soon and you're being offered support to deal with it. Its good that you're not having to fend off questions about having another but isn't it awful that you even have to worry about  that in the first place?!?? Sending you big hugs. 

Crazy, how are you? Are you still in work? Is your little girl getting excited now?
Hi to everyone else xx


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## Angel_Delight

Hello all, not been online for ages!  Hope everyone is well.

Crazy, I have gestational diabetes too.  I got diagnosed @ 16 weeks as I had it with my dd.  I'm still managing with diet but baby's abdominal circumference was on the top percentile so they may need to induce me early (38 weeks).

Sorry to hear about your pnd and pna KL.  IVF is certainly a hard journey. 

Dolphins, my dd is from a donor egg and I'm pregnant now from donor egg.  We told my close friends and family as we didn't want to keep it from my dd and wanted her to be able to talk to people about it that weren't me or my dh.  I still bury my head in the sand sometimes.  Most of the time I don't think about it but worry about what I'm going to say to her if she ever says, I'm not her mum (which she may well do as a rebellious teenager).  I have thought about what I will say if she does   But, she is my daughter and I love her to bits.  

hello to everyone else.  I need to catch up, there's been quite a bit of activity since I was last on here


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## Penelope Pitstop

Hi all,

Just wondering how crazy and angel are doing as I'm pretty sure you're both due around now?!? Hope you're both ok and looking forward to hearing from you both soon with news of your arrivals!!!! 

Hope everyone else is ok? 

Xx


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## Crazy_frog

Pen you must be super clever!!
Our little (big) man was born yesterday morning by elective section due to size. Steroids given as planned date was 37+4, meant a weekend on sliding scale of insulin wasn't fun but helped him. 
He weighed in at a whopping 9lb despite being early. Had issue with first blood sugar but has passed everyone since, thankfully. 
I hope everyone is well xx


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## Penelope Pitstop

Woohoo crazy!!!! Congratulations!!!! Glad all is well. so so pleased for you. 

Xxxx


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## Carter4

Awww congratulations Crazy. Glad to hear he is here safe and sound x


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## Sasha1973

Wow what fab news crazy! Congratulations! Enjoy every minute Xx


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## Crazy_frog

Thank you all, we're just settling into life as a four. Slightly tricky at times but dd is massively proud and protective. Currently very concerned we are not feeding him (food I mean) and worried that you have to eat to survive....fun times!!
Hope everyone is well xx


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## Angel_Delight

woohoo, congratulations Crazy x


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## Trin Trin

Hey everyone
I haven't been on here for ages!!!! Just got back from a two week holiday to Jamaica😎
Plus I can't get onto the old version of the website so trying to navigate my way around.
Congratulations Crazy!! 9lb WOW!! So happy to read all is going well in the Crazy household.
All is well at my end, bubba is 9 months old already.....I'm going back to work part time in two weeks🙁 Time has really flown by. Not sure how I'll cope as her sleep pattern is terrible. Up every 2 hours and uses my breast as a comforter. Going to try some methods re sleep this week. 
Hope all is well with everyone. 
X


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## KLconfused

crazy - congrats - thats wonderful news. My DD was 9lb1 but i always thought it was good as it wasnt so scary to handle her at the start. Life as a family of 4 is great. My 4 year old daughter is really worrying about my 9 month old son as he is standing and cruising. She didnt walk until 20 months and she never cruised and fell. She is so cautious she waited until she could run before she would let go of a person. So everytime DS stands up i get mummy mummy mummy he might fall. Its exhausting but fun. Ive tried to explain and she gets so upset as she deosnt want him to hurt himself. 


My DS is all fine now despite being premature, he has caught up with all his milestones and is a proper little boy - into everything and totally fearless. Its been lovely to see my dad with him. I have a sister but its clear now dad wanted a boy as he dotes on his grandson 


Im also over PNA and PND. I would say i started to enjoy the family after about 4-5 months. Now i love every second and i love my little boy to bits. I still have some 'thoughts' on donor aspect but my thoughts change as he grows. I told him his story for the first time the other night and it didnt feel as bad telling him as i thought it might. Ive fallen off the slimming world wagon though as im just too tired. Im also still suffering with anaemia and it looks like i need to eat meat after 33 years as a veggie. thats been hard. I havent figured out how to do it yet. 


DS booked for nursery September next year so i still have over a year left off work although that doesnt seem long but i know im lucky to have that option. DD starts school in September. Im really happy with the school and i know she is ready although she still cries when i leave her at preschool. 


Im so broody for a 3rd. Completely bonkers i know. we have 5 top grade embryos in the freezer. Hubbie says no as its a risk to my health and babies so i am considering surrogacy. I dont really want to be pregnant again but i always wanted 4 kids and im scared of the risks if i tried again. Im selling off all my baby stuff as my DS grows out of it and im trying to accept i need to stop. Trying to be logical this time and not get obsessed as i was with #2.


Have any of you had any trouble with stopping IVF? I feel its been my life for 8 years and i have felt a little bit strange without it and all the hospital visits. Im not saying i want those visits i just cant remember life before IF and have struggled to settle with a quieter life if that makes any sense? 


Pen - how are you? Have you started treatment for #3? How is DS2 as you said he had some learning delays?


Hi to you all, hope everyones well. its hard to believe were out the other side. xx


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## deblovescats

KL - I remember you from one of the other threads. Hope I can join you all.
I know how you all feel. I have been lucky enough to have 2 gorgeous children from DE IVF. My son is 3 today (what a milestone) and my daughter is 8 months. They are from the same batch of embryos. I have 2 frosties in storage who I am desperate to use. I love my children so much and feel so blessed to have them. I feel guilty sometimes for even thinking about having another child, but it keeps coming into my mind. I have always wanted to have 3 children so would love another child. Thankfully I had two great pregnancies despite being an older mum. My dilemma is whether to go ahead, and if so, to have one or two put back. I know the risk of a multiple pregnancy, but if I did a single transfer and it worked, I would run out of time age wise to use the other. However, if I did a double one and it worked, I would potentially end up with twins, and I'd worry about coping. If I only used one, I would not feel able to let the other one perish. So it is a dilemma, although I know it's what most women would dream about. I never expected to end up with any frosties and I thought they were a back up plan, as I never expected the cycles to work, but I was lucky.
I think I am going to go ahead if I can.


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## danielle1370

Hello seems quite a quiet thread but hoping I can join you!

We are naturally ttc for baby number 2. Finding it very tough with all the well meaning comments from people, 'at least you have the one' everywhere I look I see children with their siblings and my daughter is so desperate for that sibling relationship. She asks almost daily for a brother or a sister and it's so hard we are trying out best to make that happen. 

We have lots of issues with losses and had one miscarriage since our daughter was born, foolishly thought ' this time might be different' but looks like we are back on this rollercoaster ride again!

Deblovescats- that's a difficult dilemma about putting one or two back. I would probably go with two then you've given it your best shot and it's amazing how use mammies adapt to our circumstances so I'm sure you would cope. Do you have support around you? Would childcare be an issue? I guess they are the questions I'd be asking myself but even then part of me would just want to go for it I think.


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