# New member...so glad I found FF



## Homer (Dec 11, 2005)

Hi everybody,

and thanks to whoever is willing to listen to my story. My wife and I have been trying to conceive since we got married in 2002, although we've been together for 13 years. After dozens of tests and surgeries, in January 2003 the doctor said that we didn't stand a chance to conceive, not even with IVF, because "my guys" were nowhere to be found. Then in January 2005 by chance I did another test and the results had changed. After a few more tests, the results kept improving (no medical explanation of why this had happened by the way) and the doctors said that now we stood chance but only via ICSI. We had had three fresh ICSI since June 2005 at Hammersmith but the embryos failed to implant every time. In June 2006 we changed clinic and moved to Lister where we had two frozen embryos (from previous ICSI) transferred but again they failed to implant. Now we are about to try once again with a fresh ICSI at Lister, where ET should occur at the beginning of December. Somehow I feel it will be another grieving Christmas! Anyway I am so glad I found you guys (my wife also has just joined FF as "Pina"). I noticed that very few men joined your discussions but I had to do something. I feel so angry and sad most of the time and because of all this I am losing all my best friends but I need so much someone I can talk to that really understands what we are going through. Thanks for "listening". I wish you all well and hope to speak to you soon.


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## sanjo (Sep 8, 2006)

Welcome to FF

Just wanted to wish you and Pina the very best of luck for your ET: we will keep our fingers crossed for you.  Sending you    .  You never know it could be a very Merry Christmas. We all feel very alone in this process at times but please understand that we are always here for you, you will find lots of friends here that will help you and Pina through your ttc journey.

Love Sanjox


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## nicky30 (Sep 23, 2003)

Welcome Homer and Pina!!

FF is fantastic. I hope you get loads of info and support here and best of luck for your next tx cycle    

Nicky x


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Hi Homer  and Welcome to FF

Sorry I had to cut short our chat the other evening in the chatroom 
I am glad you took my advice and posted here 

What a rocky road you've traveled  have you taken any vitamins or changed your diet/lifestyle to improve your  
I ask because my DH was told ICSI when we started out 
but the Lister gave him an IVF prognosis, after Ive had him on vitamins and boxer shorts, no baths (he's allowed showers!)

I sure hope the Lister brings your dreams to reality this Christmas    
I am going to leave you a couple of links

One will be the* Lister thread*
CLICK HERE
the other will be for the* Male factors in infertility sub board - the mens room*

CLICK HERE where you will find a thread for you boys to chat on

Hope to see both you and Pina around FF in the weeks to come
 for ET  &  to you both

~Dizzi~


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi homer and welcome to the site 

Great name by the way! Plus lovely to see a man on the site as its hard for them at times like this as well.

You and your partner have been through so much by the sounds of it but i hope this site can bring u some advice, support and lots of luck.

Good luck with getting your long awaited BFP.

Kate xx​


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## kazzy44 (Oct 30, 2006)

Homer
So sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. It is tough on all of us and we really do understand so keep talking to us. All we can do is keep talking and supporting eachother. Friends mean well but only we understand what it is really like as we are the ones having to deal with it on a daily basis. I hope you find the support you need at FF.
Kaz


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## Pina (Oct 14, 2006)

Hi Homer,

It's your DW here . Just to let you know that I am really proud of you!
Pina


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## Shreks wife (Sep 11, 2006)

hi homer

am bit slow just noticed your post mate how are you doing?  You are in the right place for support everyone on here is brilliant.  Pina hello again to you to hun.

It is icsi with us to so homer your not alone my DH has problems to but we will all get there in the end is only gonna take time thats all

take care you both
shona


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## Homer (Dec 11, 2005)

Dear Sanjo,

Thank you for your message and sorry for my late reply. All these messages of support mean si much to us. Sometimes you're just tired of hiding. These days we hear from friends and family who keep asking us: what do you do at Christmas? Why don't you come and stay with us? This is nice but because we are rather pessimistic about this attempt, we either avoid to answer or come up with ridicolous excuses. How can you celebrate if you just lost the embryos? This is exactly what happened last year when we my parents came to visit us for Christmas and were disappointed that we were not cheerful and entertaining. I guess this must be happening to everybody in FF. Anyway I am looking forward to talking to my new friends in FF. I wish you all the best Sanjo.
Homer 


sanjo said:


> Welcome to FF
> 
> Just wanted to wish you and Pina the very best of luck for your ET: we will keep our fingers crossed for you. Sending you   . You never know it could be a very Merry Christmas. We all feel very alone in this process at times but please understand that we are always here for you, you will find lots of friends here that will help you and Pina through your ttc journey.
> 
> Love Sanjox


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## Homer (Dec 11, 2005)

Dear Cleg,
Thanks for your message and, once again, apology for my later reply. Actually I'd better apologize to everybody for my late reply. I know there's no commitment to FF but this is a good example of how important this forum may be for us. I work in an open space and I am writing my replies to FF just now because this is the first time in days that none of my colleagues is around me. And I could not write from home because our family came to visit us these days. And I am ready to switch to a different window in case a colleagues approaches my desk! Don't get me wrong, I am not ashamed or paranoid. It's just that this is too personal and I am not willing to give explanation. Besides a pink website with hearts, kisses and smileys and Fertility Friends huge on the top kinda of give it away, don't you think? Maybe we should have an FF website in disguise...with a "bloke" touch: black colours, cars, football, etc. I am kidding of course. Thanks again Cleg and good luck to you too.
Homer



cleg said:


> *hi homer *  ,
> 
> there is always someone here who will listen to what you have to say, i have found everyone on ff absolutely fantastic + the plus side is you can come on anytime, day or night + say what your feeling or ask a question + someone will always reply the best they can,
> hope you + your wife get your BFP + hope you find the site as supporting as i do
> ...





cleg said:


> *hi homer *  ,
> 
> there is always someone here who will listen to what you have to say, i have found everyone on ff absolutely fantastic + the plus side is you can come on anytime, day or night + say what your feeling or ask a question + someone will always reply the best they can,
> hope you + your wife get your BFP + hope you find the site as supporting as i do
> ...


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## Homer (Dec 11, 2005)

Hi Nicky 30,

Thanks for your message. You're right about FF. I still have to figure out a lot of things, such as how you people manage to create all those "visual effects" in your messages. But then again I am a bloke and so I am allowed to be slower than a girl! Congratulations on baby Ethan, he looks really cool. Good luck with everything.
Homer


nicky30 said:


> Welcome Homer and Pina!!
> 
> FF is fantastic. I hope you get loads of info and support here and best of luck for your next tx cycle
> 
> Nicky x


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## Homer (Dec 11, 2005)

Hello Dizzi squirrell,

And thanks for your support. In terms of rocky road I can see from your profile that you're not kidding either, if you don't mind me saying so! I will definetely look at your links.
With regards to shaking up my "lazy guys", we've tried several things already. Surgery for varicocele, tamoxifen for 4 months, scan, blood test which luckily revealed no genetic problems and literally dozens of tests to check my production in 2005. We asked them about lifestyle or diets but they said that there's nothing that would really help such low numbers. Which is why during each egg collection I didn't know until the last minute whether they would take me a biopsy. Luckily, so far the fresh sample has always been enough for the ICSI. But in our latest attempt it is the same story, I will know on the day of the egg collection. Do you know what the worst part is? I can't eat that morning until I get the green light! As Pina can tell you, I DO HATE to skip breakfast! Having said that I keep using boxer,taking vitamins and taking showers! All the best to you and see you on the chat!
Homer


Dizzi squirrel said:


> Hi Homer  and Welcome to FF
> 
> Sorry I had to cut short our chat the other evening in the chatroom
> I am glad you took my advice and posted here
> ...


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## Jennifer (Jul 22, 2004)

Homer !!  You would have liked our Haloween theme last year - the site was orange and black !!!  

Glad you are finding FF a help 

We've all been in pretty dark places along our journeys but there is light at the end of the tunnel and I hope you and your dw get your dream baby soon 

Best wishes
Jennifer xx


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## Homer (Dec 11, 2005)

Hello Kate,

Thanks for your message. I chose "Homer" for two simple reasons. First because the Simpsons is probably my favourite show of all times. Secondly, because I seem to recall that a few years back an opinion poll on the "Time" (the US magazine), had elected Homer Simpsons as the best father of the world. Therefore by using that name I hope that one day I will have a chance to be a good father as well. And I love donuts like Homer  !
All the best
Homer


Kamac80 said:


> hi homer and welcome to the site
> 
> Great name by the way! Plus lovely to see a man on the site as its hard for them at times like this as well.
> 
> ...


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## Homer (Dec 11, 2005)

Thanks for your message Kazzy44! 
It's a strange thing because when you say " I am sorry", your words actually mean a lot to us because I know you really understand. We've told about our problems only to 4/5 friends and to our parents. And when they say they're sorry...well it's not the same...it doesn't "reach me". It's not that they don't love us of course, but how can they understand what it means to lose "just a bunch of cells" after days of treatments and hospitals? All the best to you and your DH and good luck for January.
Homer


kazzy44 said:


> Homer
> So sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. It is tough on all of us and we really do understand so keep talking to us. All we can do is keep talking and supporting eachother. Friends mean well but only we understand what it is really like as we are the ones having to deal with it on a daily basis. I hope you find the support you need at FF.
> Kaz


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## Homer (Dec 11, 2005)

Hello Frw,

Thanks for your message and suport. I am doing ok and looking forward to our forthcoming icsi, except for what my "Pina" has to go through, i.e. injections, etc. I believe that we met during my first time in chat (my username is Matteo71). I like the fact when I joined the chat (I've only done it twice so far) and say that I am a man, the girls launched the so-called "bloke alert"! It is very funny. 
Both Pina and I are already feeling the support from FF people and this is very good for us. I think it will make us stronger during the next ICSI, whatever the outcome. And let's hope we can return the favour and give our support to you soon.
All the best and good luck for January.
Homer



Frw said:


> hi homer
> 
> am bit slow just noticed your post mate how are you doing? You are in the right place for support everyone on here is brilliant. Pina hello again to you to hun.
> 
> ...


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## Homer (Dec 11, 2005)

Hey Pina,
Its' your DH here. If you're so proud of me, why don't you make me another one of your famous cake? I read somewhere that eating good cakes (poppy seeds and lemon) help to boost sperm production by a mile! Besides I am still Homer Simpsons!!
I love you (a bit cheesy I know)



Pina said:


> Hi Homer,
> 
> It's your DW here . Just to let you know that I am really proud of you!
> Pina


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## Homer (Dec 11, 2005)

Dear Jennifer,

Thanks for your message and congratulations for your two wonderful girls!
My mother said the other day that she had been to see some kind of fortune teller/astrologer and this person told her that 2006 was our worst year(really?) and that in 2007 something wonderful would happen...mmhh...obviously I have never believed in this nonsense but hey, who cares, whatever helps to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
All the best
Homer 


Jennifer said:


> Homer !! You would have liked our Haloween theme last year - the site was orange and black !!!
> 
> Glad you are finding FF a help
> 
> ...


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## Shreks wife (Sep 11, 2006)

hey homer

where you got to we havent heard from you on the posts for ages you need to keep in contact sweety havent you found a thread to suit yet?

give us a shout if you need to find a home to talk ok

shona

 by the way hope you have a fab day


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