# would my husband be able to adopt?



## jenluke (Jul 14, 2011)

Hi all, 

I've been married to my husband for 5 years, together for 6. My children are 8 and almost 7. he took them on as his own and is the best dad ever. I havent seen my ex partner for 6 years. In this time he had contacted us maybe 4 times and is only interested in getting back with me. So what I'm wondering is if my husband would be able to adopt my girls without their biological fathers permission? He would not agree to it. He is living in another country and heard that he will be for the next couple of years. Is it possible to adopt without parents permission?

Many thanks


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi,

I don't know the in's and outs, but my friend adopted his wife's little girl and they didn't need permission from the father.

I am sure at the time it was because 5 years had passed and they had no idea where he was.

This was quite a long time ago now, so hopefully someone who has more recent info may post soon.

Good luck for the future.

X


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## blueytoo (Oct 5, 2003)

Hello

It depends partly on whether their biological father has parental responsibility or not. So if their biological father has parental responsibility he will have to give permission or a Court will have to make an order (very rare, they prefer the biological father to give permission. 

You will have to inform your local council that you intend to apply, at least 3 months before you make the legal application. The social workers then have to visit you and make a report for the Court.

Hope that helps


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## Faithope (Jan 16, 2011)

*Jenluke* Hey hun  I am an expert on this subject as DH has recently adopted my DS  *blueytoo* has said exactly what I would have said, this is what happened in our adoption. The judge was very insistant that everything that could be done to find the father and get permission, should be done. In our case, DS's biological father left me when I was 4 months pregnant and he hadn't even met my DS. Yet the court wanted addresses, phone numbers etc and the only way I could get these were to ask my social worker to get permission from the police to do a PNC check to find him (he was in HMPS) for alot of offences. Then he had to write a letter to give permission. They found him and he wrote a letter to sign his DS away without ever seeing him or wanting to know how he was doing (his loss). He never had parental responsablity. If you have any questions, you know how to reach me  It took a whole year from start to finish and be warned, it is very stressful but totally worth it


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## jenluke (Jul 14, 2011)

thanks for the replies. 

Karen I just messages you 2 mins ago. lol. 
Thanks for the info. Your sons sperm donor sounds like a total idiot and some1 that I'm sure you and your son are much better without. I dont understand some people. How can you have a child and not be remotely interested in how they are, what they look like, their interests etc. Like you said its his loss. So glad your husband has adopted your son. 
The thing that I'm concerned about is that my girls only know my husband as Daddy, they dont know that he is not their biological father. Am I right in thinking that they would need to know this info for the adoption? Guess its a difficult one. My husband doesnt want them to know until they are much older as he thinks that it would change their relationship. 

thanks again x x


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## juju81 (Nov 2, 2007)

Hi jenluke, I have no advice re adoption, but it sounds like faithope and blueytoo have given you some.  The only thing I'd say is, we had to use donor sperm as my hubby is infertile and research actually shows if the children know at an earlier age that there daddy is not biologgically their daddy they accept it a lot better. They say that the older they find o the harder they deal with it.......I bet yourd find they wouldn't feel any different if you told them now xxx


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## Faithope (Jan 16, 2011)

*Jenluke* The child would have to know that your husband isn't the biological father, as they ask the child their opinion on the adoption, the social workers would want to chat to the child about what they think. The courts are all for children knowing their backgrounds-who they came from, other family members on the fathers side etc. This is the part I found most difficult to deal with as his side have nothing to do with DS yet DS has a half sister. It is very much child focused, rather than what the adults want, if you see what I mean.
I also agree with *juju* that the earlier the child knows, the more accepting they are.

 xxx


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