# Initial social work visit.



## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

We have our initial social work visit on Monday and I am just looking for any advice? Xx


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Be yourself. Honestly its scarey but its a massive thing u r doing and something u want so badly that u are probably worrying about everything. They are trained to talk to people and find out what they want to know after about 10-15 mins we were all laughing and talking freely. All i ever say is be honest and take it one step at a time. If u r anything like i was u are probably dusting the strangest of places just in case they look !!! I  was like that all the way through the process until bubba was home our social worker came one day and i hadn't done any dusting for  ages i was sitting on the floor dusting bubba toys with a packet of wipes hoping she didn't realise what i was doing sw looked at me and laughed!!! 

Good luck its an amazing thing u r doing something to be proud of Xx


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

Thanks for your reply, in response to cleaning got hubby roped in to house clean tomorrow! Will be bleaching the grout in the tiles and everything!

Just worried they won't like us!  Think our main worry is my hubby's ex wife, she has been awful and totally poisoned the kids against him, they split 2 years before we met and have been apart for 10 years now but I can count on one hand how many times he has seen the kids and its not through lack of trying.  He is amazing with all our friends kids and is absolutely gutted he has never had a chance to be a proper father just really worried about what she may say about him. 

Social worker sounds really nice so that put me at ease, just getting more nervous the closer it gets to Monday!

So how long has your daughter been home with you? Did she settle in quite quickly? Xx


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## Guest (Feb 23, 2013)

Hi

Well done on joining the journey! Be totally honest with your social worker and discuss any concerns you have from the beginning, they are here to help you get there to be adoptive parents! You need to build up that honest relationship as they will be one person you will need for help and advice. We had a horrid journey but nearly there, never give up hope.xxxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

That is horrible your poor hubby. My guess is over time that will all be spoken about i am sure your situation isn't unique so fingers crossed it won't be a problem.

Your comment about bleaching grout made me smile! God if they could see us in between visits!! I sent hubby to shop for cakes he came back with a selection of Mr k which came 2 cakes packed together! He was in kitchen making drinks had asked what sw wanted and threwthem to me omg i could have killed him!! She laughed while i died inside!

Bubba was just under 13 months when she came home. It was hard really hard not really sure why i think it is such a change and so full on and after trying for so long i wanted to be super mum!!Please don't get me wrong it was also amazing and she settled really well and no problems. She is the light of my life and makes me cry with love and pride she looks at me and says happy tears mummy. 

Really hope it all goes well for u both enjoy it x


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

Thanks for your replies ladies, love the support you get on here just so good to talk to people who totally understand how you feel.

Dinks, what stage are you at? Hope you have your LO home with you soon xx

Aaa, 13 months what a lovely age, we are hoping for a baby too.  Really good to talk to someone who has come out the other side, am excited but nervous as well xx

Oh well not long now, let you know how it goes xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Be honest. Write a list of all the questions you have they are keen for it to be a two way process. If they don't put you at ease after a while they aren't the agency for you. Try another one its such a big thing you have to feel comfortable with them. It may help to write a list of dates - when you met, moved in, got married , decided to ttc and treatments. 

You don't have to it will just help you not to um and ah well subtracting months and years in your head like we were. We had ours last month and were terrified but it was fine and we start prep in June so good luck x x


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

Thanks, our last treatment was December but our LA don't ask you to wait a specific length of time, just when you feel ready.  We had decided a year ago that treatment number 3 was the last anyway just took a bit longer as we had frozen that round so ended up doing FET too.

Well just about to start the house clean, dog bathed just need to get some cakes in now, so nervous, not sure why really!

Not long now until you start prep bet ou are excited? X


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

I am but just worry about a million things that could go wrong ( can't help it ) . Time is dragging at the minute still feels far away. Trying to keep busy and sort things that might delay things. Making the house kid proof etc x


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

I know the closer it's getting to our visit the more nervous and worried I am that they won't like us!

Will just be happier tomorrow when we have better idea of what is expected of us and rough time frames for each step, am one of these people who likes to have a plan! 

We go on holiday in June and its only 108 days so it will be here before you know it, the days and weeks are flying by just now, hopefully by this time next year we will just be waiting to be matched with our LO's xx


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

Wanted to stop by and wish you all the best for tomorrow.  It will be fine i'm sure!  We have all been super nervous and even 7 HS sessions in the butterflies kick in before that doorbell rings!  But you will soon be chatting away and the nerves will ease.  Be prepared for a headache and the overwhelming tiredness after SW leaves though.... or is that just me?!!  

(top tip - easy to prepare tea or get the slowcooker on, I never can face cooking after a visit    Also, slowercooker produced nice homely smells, haha!)


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Good luck for tomorrow Xx


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

Thanks, let you all know how it goes   x


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

Well 2hrs to go and getting more nervous by the minute, keep thinking they won't like us! Xx


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

Well first visit done, went well but she did say they would focus a lot on ex but if she bad mouthed Joe she would need to back up her claims and if we had people to back up his side of things then it shouldn't be a problem.

Next step prep, she said we will get a letter 2-3 weeks before and it should be March/April time eek didn't think it would be that soon but defo not complaining!

Thanks for all your support, how are you all doing? Xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Amazing great news glad it went really well   bet your shattered. I fell asleep about 20 minutes after she left at 6pm because I was so exhausted x


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Fantastic at least u know where u stand re ex now. It has gotta be something they come across all the time. All go now really pleased for u Xx


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## Doubleprincesstrouble (Jan 28, 2013)

Oh Good luck!

I remember how nervous I was, and how clean the houser was!

Not that clean now, sticky little hands get everywhere


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## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

We have are vist tomorrow what things did there go through etc.

Thanks


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

Sorry just noticed your post, how did you get on? Xx


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## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

So nerves but all went really well we have a birth child through donor sperm so we talk a lot about how we parent him etc.  I also work in a preschool which she really liked 

So all good have to wait for her report then on to the next step fingers cross 

Have you heard back yet?

Hugs

X


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

Nothing yet but hoping soon, she said march/April xx

Did they give you any idea of how long? X


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## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

1-2 months to be assigned a SW which more then likely be her which is good I felt happy with her.

Fingers cross we both her soon 

Hugs


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Fingers crossed you get prep dates soon. I keep worrying they have forgotten us because we haven't had official paper work (because it's in June). Keep trying to think of an excuse to ring them  . Just to make sure they are thinking of me x


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## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

Sw email to say that a prep course this Monday and next Monday and this coming Friday could we may any means do it yes yes yes   DH had to do some changing round at work but we doing it so so pleased 

Fingers cross yours comes through quickly to 

Xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Fab news x


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

Wow, that was quick, fantastic news! Xx

Good luck xx


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

Hello ladies, how are we all?

Got very last minute call today, starting prep group in 45mins argh! Totally terrified as not sure what to expect xx


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

Wow!! Good luck, it'll be fine x


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## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

Wow that is very last minute good luck are went well you be great xx


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

Thanks, was really good, back next thurs evening, then 2 full days then 1 more evening, finishes on 9th April.

Thereto four, how did you get on? Xx


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## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

We have to do three full days are next is tomorrow and last one on Monday.  The first day was good great to meet other people going through the same progess there was lot of us 10 couples in total wow.  Are SW is not running the course this time round which would have been good but never mind.  But we have are next home vist in the 27th at 19.00 so DS is going to have a sleep over at granny and grumps.  

It great we doing this around the same time 

Hugs

Jane xx


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

7 couples at ours, think they were expecting 8 though x

We need to finish prep before they arrange next home visit but so pleased things are moving and really great to talk to someone at same stage as us,

Tracy xx


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## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

Finish are three day pre course yesterday hard going but interesting.  Have are next vist next Wednesday.  We handed information in for Crb but it is a new form can't remember what it called.  We have been given a list of what the session will be about there is seven in total and one you have to do separately.  Home work to  

Xx


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

We have 2nd prep session on Thursday what else do they cover? What's crb? That's really quick to start home study, hope we start that quickly, best of luck for wed xx


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## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

CRB Criminal Records Bureau checks.  Really great LA no adopters awaiting children which sound so good to me 

Xx


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

Excellent, ours have said we could wait a year + to be matched with a child after approval! What else did they cover on prep course, back thurs and getting nervous again xx


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## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

We did about abuse. Identity of the child. Contract, panel and matching panel, what happens next.

A lot more but that just off the top of my head 

Xx


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

Well session 3 of prep done, covered abuse and loss etc today, was really good.  Thoroughly enjoying course and will be quite sad once it's over, met some lovely people!

How's everyone else? Xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

You should get people to write a list of emails / phone numbers if they want to stay in touch.  Bet everyone would be grateful you gad the guts to do it x x


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

I know, would be good to keep in touch! X

How are you gwyneth? Not long now til prep course? Xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

I'm good hun, looking forward to a bit of time off at Easter to sort some house bits. Last bits of painting etc make  it SW perfect  . So glad stuff is moving so quick for you  . What time scales are you working on? Old or new?


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## crazyroychick (Aug 21, 2012)

Not sure, they are going through next steps at last group on 9th April so hopefully have a rough idea by then, so exciting xx

What about you? Xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

We had our screening interview in January and they didn't know then. She mentioned the new time scales and said that they hadn't been given any advice / training or information about the new system yet. She was really honest and apologised that she couldn't give us definite details. From what others are saying it seems to be a 50 - 50 split at the minute which route people take. 

My cynical side wonders if it would make much difference Our prep is a day a week across a month. My guess is previously you probably signed official paperwork at the start of it. New time scales I bet you don't sign till you are allocated a SW so that is realistically 2 months of the previous 8. (A month on prep and a couple of weeks to be allocated a SW then a couple of weeks before first HS visit.) There aren't going to be more SW's, panels or courses so realistically they can only shave time off here and there.


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